Split (1)

train · 5.38k rows

TEXT stringlengths 1.25k 199k	METADATA stringlengths 54 187	SOURCE stringclasses 1 value
Episode 4.06 – A Servant Of Two Masters --- Forest Merlin, Arthur, and the Knights ride through the woods. They slow. Merlin catches sight of the king's stone head in the grass. Merlin: Arthur, you are not serious. Arthur: What else do you have in mind? Merlin: Anything. Nothing good ever happens in the Valley of the Fallen Kings. No-one in their right mind would go in there. Percival: Exactly. Arthur: The routes are secret, Merlin. That's why we chose it. [BATTLE CRIES] A band of armed men rushes down the hillside yelling. Merlin: Not so secret after all. Arthur: No need to get cocky! More men rush down from the other hillside. The knights draw their swords. Cavalry charges them from behind. [SCREAMS] Percival: Ya! Percival charges and cuts a man down from his horse. Arthur fights with a man on foot and is pulled off his horse. Arthur cuts him down and fends off another attacker, but Merlin dismounts as he sees a horseman charging Arthur from behind. Merlin: Arthur! Merlin cast a spell and the horseman falls off and is dragged behind his horse. Arthur finishes off his attacker. Merlin turns just in time to see a horseman swing a mace into his chest. [SLOW HEART bat SOUND] Merlin slowly falls on the ground. Arthur slices another attacker and stops in horror when he sees Merlin sprawled limply face first on the ground. [BATTLE CRIES FADE OUT] – Opening Credits – Valley of the Fallen Kings Arthur supports Merlin's weight as they hurry through the forest, pursued by the mercenaries. They hide behind some tree roots and the pursuers pass by. Merlin: They need to work through their anger. Arthur: They just did. On you. Merlin chuckles through his pain. Arthur looks disconcerted by Merlin's condition. --- Arthur supports Merlin's weight as they make their way through the forest. Arthur: A night's rest and you'll be polishing my armour. They could definitely do with a scrub. Arthur eases Merlin down against a fallen log, takes off his glove and checks Merlin's wound. Merlin looks at the wound and up at Arthur, struck by the role reversal. Arthur tries to make light of it to cover how bad it looks. Arthur: I've seen worse. I've definitely seen worse. Merlin: On a dad man? Arthur: You're not going to die, Merlin. Don't be such a coward. Merlin: If I do die, will you call me a hero? Arthur: Probably. Merlin: But whilst I'm still alive, I'm a coward. Arthur: That's the way these things work, I'm afraid. You get the glory when you're not around to appreciate it. Merlin: Unless you're the king. Arthur: Come on, it's got to have some advantages. Merlin: You have a very good servant. Merlin smiles at his joke, but can't block out the pain. Arthur: You're right. I do. A servant who is extremely brave and incredibly loyal, to be honest, not at all cowardly. Merlin: Thank you for saving my life. Arthur: You'd do the same for me. Birds chirp. Arthur starts as he hears twigs crack and a bird take flight. He looks over at Merlin who is still lying in pain. Arthur gets up sharply and sheathes his sword. Arthur: I'd love to say we can stay here and rest, but another ten minutes, we'll be mercenary mincemeat. He pulls Merlin up by the arm and lifts him into a fireman's carry. Merlin: Leave me. Arthur: Now's not the time for jokes. Merlin: Please, leave me. Arthur: Sure. Whatever you say. Arthur ignores him and heads off with Merlin on his back. [MERLIN WINCES] Arthur comes to a set of stairs in a crevice and sees a mercenary at the other end. He sets Merlin down, who grunts in pain, and draws his sword. Arthur fights the mercenary. Another mercenary comes at Arthur from behind. Arthur kills the two men, but many more run past Merlin and rush into the crevice after Arthur. Merlin: *Gewican ge stanas!* Boulders fall into the crevice, cutting off the mercenaries. Arthur realises he's being cut off from Merlin and panics. Arthur: Merlin! Boulders entirely fill the crevice. Merlin lies back exhausted and someone picks him up. --- Forest Agravaine leads the mercenaries as they drag Merlin unconscious to Morgana's feet. Morgana: We lost how many men? And you bring me how many men? Or should I say, how many servants? Morgana angrily kicks Merlin over. Agravaine: Arthur was within our grasp. Morgana: Is that supposed to make me feel better? Agravaine: The rock fall was hardly our fault. I must show my presence in Camelot. The old physician already suspects me. Morgana: Oh, Gaius is shrewd, you should take care. After all, if your true nature's revealed, I really don't know what use I'll have for you. Agravaine: Morgana... She turns away. He stops. Agravaine: I'll dispatch this servant. Agravaine draws his sword and poises to strike. Morgana: You will do no such thing. Arthur is strangely fond of the boy. He could prove useful. Very useful, indeed. Morgana walks off with a smile. --- Morgana's hovel Morgana douses Merlin with a bucket of water and he jolts awake, hanging from the ceiling by his wrists. Morgana: Good morning. Merlin: Is it? Morgana: Oh, don't be like that. We have a lot of catching up to do. After all, I haven't seen you since you condemned my sister to a slow and painful death, thwarted my plans to take over Camelot, and forced me to live in a hovel. Merlin: Couldn't do me a favour, could you? Let Arthur know? He still thinks of me of an under-achiever, but I'm quite proud of those accomplishments. I can die happy. Morgana: Oh, you're not going to die. Oh, no. I'm not going to make it that easy. --- Valley of the Fallen Kings The Knights search the woods. Sir Leon directs the search, but hears something behind him and turns to attck. Arthur parries his swing. Sir Leon smiles in relief. Arthur: Nice to see you, too! --- Camelot The knights ride into Camelot. --- Council Chamber Gaius enters. The knights, Arthur, and Guinevere are already gathered. Gaius: Where's Merlin? Arthur: He's alive. Last I saw of him, he was still alive. (to Sir Leon) Dispatch patrols at first light. Scour every inch of that forest. Sir Leon: Yes, sire. Sir Leon and the knights exit. Arthur: We'll find him, Gaius.We will. --- Morgana's hovel Morgana: You know, there's one thing I don't understand, Merlin.You're Arthur's servant, nothing more. Yet time and again, you've proved yourself willing to lay down your life for him. Merlin: What are you doing? Morgana: Have you never seen Gaius clean a wound before? Merlin: All right, I know what you're doing. What I don't know is why. Morgana grabs his face. Morgana: I believe I asked you a question first. Why are you so loyal to Arthur? Merlin: I don't expect you to understand, Morgana. You have no sense of duty, no sense of loyalty. Morgana: You're wrong. Don't think I don't understand loyalty just because I've got no-one left to be loyal to. Morgana places her hand over Merlin's wound. Morgana: Ic de durhhaele dinu licsa mid dam sundorcraeft daere ealdan ae. Drycraeft durhhaele dina wunda.* She grabs Merlin's face again and shoves him as he falls unconscious. --- Council Chamber Agravaine: We have scoured the forest. Arthur: Scour it again. Sir Leon: Sire, there is no sign of Merlin. Agravaine approaches Arthur. Agravaine: None, but this. Agravaine places a scrap of Merlin's bloody jacket on the map in front of Arthur. Arthur stares at it. Agravaine: I am sorry you've lost such a loyal and... Arthur holds up a hand, stopping him. Arthur: The mercenaries, what news of them? Sir Leon: We found no trace. Agravaine: Surely sent by that snake Alinor. Arthur: It can't be. How? Our route was known only to a few within Camelot. Sir Leon: Then there's only one conclusion we can draw. We have a traitor in our midst. Gaius looks slowly at Agravaine. --- Morgana's hovel Morgana holds up a medallion with a snake-tree on it and incants a spell. Morgana: * Astige du wyrm fah ond gedeowie daet mod disse deowes. Hine bind ond da heold. Awend hi ealle.* Morgana casts the medallion in the flames. A hiss rises out of the metal bowl as the flames disappear. The snake-tree has come to life. Morgana smiles. Morgana: I take it you've never met a Fomorroh before. The Fomorroh hisses and Morgana giggles evilly. Morgana: Oh, he's a little grumpy. Morgana pets the Fomorroh. Morgana: He's not used to being out in the light. Well, my friend, I have called you from your depths for a very good reason. Morgana takes a dagger and slices off one of the Fomorroh's heads. It writhes, still alive, and another head grows back on the main body. Merlin looks on, unsettled. Morgana: Thz Fomorroh are creatures of dark magic. Even if you cut off their heads, you cannot kll them. Another will just grow in its place. Merlin glares at Morgana, dreading what's coming. Morgana: In the days of the Old Religion, they were revered by the High Priestesses because they allowed them to control people's minds. Morgana approaches Merlin menacingly and he glares at her, disgusted. Morgana: The Fomorroh will suck the life force out of you and everything that makes you Merlin will be gone. And in its place there will be just one thought. One thought that will grow until it's consumed you completely. One thought that will be your life's work. You will not be able to rest until it's done. And that one thought is simple. You must kll Arthur Pendragon. Morgana places the Fomorroh at Merlin's neck and it burrows into it, making him writhe in pain. [MERLIN SCREAMS] It squirms under the surface of his skin. --- Camelot The sun rises over Camelot. Morning bells ring in the city. --- Arthur'S Chambers [COCK CROWS] Arthur stirs groggily as a rooster crows, joining in the morning bells. He opens his eyes to see a blurry vision that looks like a general outline of Merlin. He opens his eyes to focus and sees a very prim looking servant waiting at the end of his bed, dressed much like Merlin. Arthur: Who are you? George: I am your new man servant, sire. I have polished your armour, sharpened your sword, selected your clothes. There is a slight chill in the air today, sir. And now, if you would allow me, I would like to serve you breakfast. Arthur looks over at the table and sees it covered in bread and fruit. Arthur: What's your name? George: George, sire, at your service. George unfolds a napkin and places it over Arthur's chest as he lies in bed. Arthur: George. Llisten George, it’s all very impressive. George places an extra pillow behind Arthur's head. Arthur: Very impressive, indeed. Bbut I already have a man servant. All right, he's shabby looking, has appalling manners... George hands Arthur a goblet. Arthur: ...he's extremely forgetful. He seems to spend most of his time in the tavern. George hands him a plate. Arthur: But he is... Arthur looks at the cup and plate in his hand and George fetches a fork. Arthur: My man servant. Arthur hands the plate and cup back to George. Arthur: To be honest, I quite like it that way. Arthur tosses the napkin at George and scrambles out of bed, leaving George confused. --- Castle square Gwen follows Arthur out of the palace. Gwen: I’m as worried about Merlin as you are. Arthur: You're not going to change my mind. Gwen: Who knows if the mercenaries have even left the forest? Arthur: I have to go. Gwen: The patrols found no sign of him. Arthur: Do you really expect me to accept that? Just to sit here and take their word that Merlin's gone? I won't rest until I at least try. Gwen: I know, but just...do one thing for me. Please don't go alone. Gwaine: He won't be going alone. Gwaine rides up, ready to go. They turn to look at him. Arthur: See, now you've condemned me to a day of mindless chatter. Gwen: Good. Arthur places a comforting hand on her shoulder. Arthur: We'll return. Gwen: You better. Arthur mounts and the two of them ride off. --- Forest Merlin awakens in the woods, completely covered in mud. Gwaine: You know what I like about Merlin? He never expects any praise. All these things he does just for the good of doing them. Arthur holds out his arm for silence, sensing something. They stop and dismount as they hear someone and draw their swords. Arthur: Declare yourself. Merlin struggles out of the mud and steps onto the path. [MERLIN LAUGHS] Arthur: Merlin! Arthur sticks his sword in the ground and walks over to Merlin. Arthur: I thought we'd lost you. Arthur gives the extremely muddy Merlin a big hug. --- Gaius Chambers The Fomorroh writhes under Merlin's skin. Gaius serves Merlin supper. Gaius: Don't do that again, Merlin. My heart cannot take the strain. Merlin: Yes, well, you are getting on a bit. Gaius looks at Merlin in surprise. Merlin: What is this? Gaius: It's a special welcome home. Your favourite. Merlin takes one sip of the soup and gags. Merlin: I think that you should stick to cooking up potions, Gaius. This tastes like the bog Arthur found me in. Gaius gives an uncertain chuckle. Gaius: How did you escape? Merlin: With great skill. Can I ask you something? Gaius: Yes, of course. Anything. Merlin: What is the strongest poison that you possess? Gaius regards Merlin. Merlin: I had this great opportunity to lace the bandits' food with poison and nothing to do it with. Merlin gets up and walks over to a table full of potions. Gaius: Well, that would be aconite. Merlin: A… conite? Merlin spots it on the table and takes the bottle. Merlin: Well, I think I should take some of this with me from now on. You never know when you might need to kll someone. Merlin takes off and Gaius mulls over Merlin's curious behaviour. Gaius: Indeed. --- Castle kitchens Merlin prepares Arthur's meal. He finishes it off by dousing it with aconite, then places the bottle back in his jacket pocket. He bumps into the head cook. Merlin: You stink worse than your food. One of the cook's assistants grins. The Cook: Back to work. Or I'll be using your face to scrub that pot clean. The assistant turns back to her work. --- Phoenix corridor Gwaine intercepts Merlin on his way to Arthur's chambers. Gwaine: Ah, bog man. I have to say, you're smelling better. Gwaine pulls off his glove with his teeth and tries to take some food off of the plate. Merlin: This is food for the king of Camelot, and is not meant to be soiled by your filthy fingers! Merlin is able to avoid Gwaine's grasp. Gwaine stares at Merlin as he grumpily hurries off. --- Arthur's chambers Merlin walks in to find Gwen already serving Arthur a meal. Arthur: Thank you, Guinevere. That's very kind. Merlin: Oh, I might've known. Gwen pours Arthur's drink. Arthur: Hello, Merlin. Merlin: What's this? Arthur: Er...lunch. Merlin (to Gwen): Look, I know you like to take every opportunity to be by his side, but this is just getting ridiculous. You'll be pouring his bath water next. Arthur: Merlin, is something wrong? Merlin: This is what's wrong. Merlin points to the food Gwen brought. Gwen: I was just trying to help. I thought you needed some rest. Merlin: Rest? No, I don't need rest. Do you know how long it took me to prepare this meal? I cooked it myself. Merlin switches the plates. Arthur: I think this is just a case of a simple misunderstanding. Arthur switches the plates back. Merlin: Oh, yes. Well, you would take her side. Arthur: Excuse me? Merlin, I think you must be tired. You've been through quite an ordeal. Merlin: I just want to resume my normal duties. Arthur: Well, I'll be pleased to have your assistance preparing for the knighting ceremony later. Arthur hands Merlin's plate of food back to him. Merlin: Thank you, sire. Merlin glares at Gwen. She gives an uncertain smile. Merlin starts to leave, turns to say something, then thinks better of it and exits. --- Lower town Merlin walks down the street and tosses the plate into a pigsty. --- Gaius Chambers Merlin is pacing behind Gaius. Gaius: Merlin, are you all right? Merlin: I'm pacing. Gaius: Yes, I can see that. Merlin: A man who is “all right” does not pace, Gaius. Gaius: Well, that's why I asked. Merlin: I am wrestling with a problem and there are many factors to take into consideration, and I have not yet come up with a solution. Gaius: Can I be of assistance? Merlin (scoffs):Ah, no. Gaius: Would you like to share the problem with me? Merlin: No. Gaius: Sometimes two heads are better than one. Merlin: Yes, but not when one of them's yours. --- Armory Sir Leon puts away a sword and sees Merlin searching for something. Sir Leon: What are you after? Merlin: Arthur wants a crossbow. Sir Leon: That one's ancient - probably wouldn't hurt a fly. Merlin: If you did want to hurt a fly, or even a human, what would you use? Sir Leon: You would use a thing of beauty like this. Merlin is excited as Sir Leon pulls a shiny new crossbow off the wall. Sir Leon: Carved from fifty-year-old ash. Sir Leon admires the crossbow, then hands it to Merlin with a smile. Merlin holds it as if to fre it. Sir Leon: Erm, be careful … Merlin accidentally releases the arrow and it blows apart a barrel across the room. Merlin stares open mouthed. Merlin: Oh! Sir Leon: Will that do the job? Merlin beams, excited. Merlin: Oh, yes. That will do the job nicely. Merlin laughs gleefully. Sir Leon: Er, what is the job, exactly? Merlin (gleefully): To kll Arthur. Sir Leon: He's driving you mad, is he? Merlin: Not for much longer. Sir Leon laughs as Merlin heads out with the crossbow and quiver. --- Arthur's chambers Merlin sets up a crossbow booby-trap in Arthur's wardrobe. He tests it and the arrow flies straight into the bedpost. Merlin sighs excitedly. Arthur: Talk about a bad use of time. Merlin uses the bed curtain to hide the arrow while he pulls it out. Arthur: We have a potential traitor in our midst and I have to prepare for a knighting ceremony. Maybe it's one of the knights who wants to kll me. Merlin finally pulls out the arrow and closes the wardrobe. Arthur: Maybe it's you. Ha. Merlin tenses. Arthur notices. Arthur: Don't look so worried, Merlin. I don't really think you want to kll me. --- Lower town Gwen walks by the pigsty and notices a crowd gathered around it. She skirts around to find an opening and sees Arthur's silver platter next to half-eaten food and a dad pig. --- Gaius chambers Gaius holds the chicken up to his nose and sniffs it. Gaius: Aconite… Wolfsbane to you. The most deadly poison known to man. Gwen: What was it doing on Arthur's food? Gaius: Merlin took some from here earlier. Gwen: He was really angry when he realised Arthur wasn't going to eat it. Gaius: He has been behaving very strangely. Gwen: But why would Merlin want to kll Arthur? Gaius: Merlin wouldn't. Not if he was in his right mind. --- Corridor Gwen and Gaius pass Sir Leon in the hallway. Gwen: Have you seen Merlin? Sir Leon: He was in the armoury. Gaius: What did he want in there? Sir Leon (chuckles): A crossbow. I think Arthur must be getting on his nerves. Gwen: Why? Sir Leon (whispers): He said he was going to kll him. Sir Leon bursts out laughing and walks off. Gwen and Gaius exchange a worried look. --- Arthur's chambers Merlin resets the wardrobe booby-trap while Arthur dresses. Arthur: What do you think about Percival? Merlin: He’s very big. Arthur: Does that make him a traitor? Merlin: Are you going to get dressed? Arthur steps out from behind his dressing screen. Arthur: Have you got somewhere to be? Merlin: Percival's family were klled by Cenred's army. He hates everything to do with Morgana. Arthur: You're right. He has pledged his allegiance. Arthur walks over to the wardrobe and pauses with his hand on the doorknob, thinking. Merlin waits impatiently. Arthur: I'm wrong to doubt him. I need to put it from my mind. The Fomorroh writhes in Merlin's neck. Merlin: You must get dressed. Arthur: Indeed. Arthur opens the wardrobe, but the crossbow doesn't fre. Arthur: Elyan didn't ride out with us. Merlin lets out his breath, surprised that it didn't fre. Arthur closes the wardrobe and walks away. Arthur: Maybe he's concerned about my relationship with Guinevere. Arthur goes behind the dressing screen and Merlin stomps over to the wardrobe and opens it, narrowly dodging the arrow as it sht into the bedpost. Merlin pulls it out. Arthur: Elyan, could he be the traitor? My father klled his father. Could you get me my ceremonial sword? Merlin gets an idea. Merlin: The ceremonial sword - of course. Merlin fetches it to kll Arthur. Arthur: I find it hard to believe that Elyan would think ill of me, but you can't trust anyone. Merlin tests out the sword. Arthur: In fact, I think you, Merlin, are the only person I CAN trust. Merlin raises the sword to strike just as Gwen and Gaius burst in. Arthur: I know, I'm late. Merlin rushes forward to attck, but Arthur moves and Merlin runs into the column and falls over. Arthur turns around and sees Merlin on the floor unconscious. He picks up the ceremonial sword, and then strolls out. Gwen gives Arthur a fake smile on his way out. Merlin wakes and Gwen smashes a metal pitcher over his head, knocking him out again. --- Gaius chambers Gaius reads an entry in a book as Gwen grimaces at the creature crawling under Merlin's skin. Gaius: I feared as much. Gwen: What is it? Gaius hands her the book. Gaius: It's a Fomorroh. She looks at the drawing of it in the book. Gaius: Whoever put it there was very highly skilled. Gwen: What does it do? Gaius: In the days of the Old Religion, they were used by the High Priestess to enslave the minds of their enemies. Once a thought was planted, the victim would not stop till they'd accomplished it. First we must paralyse the serpent. Gwen hands him a bowl and Gaius dabs a saturated pouch on Merlin's neck. The Fomorroh grows still. Gwen: Is it dad? Gaius: Sadly not. Merely dormant. Now for the tricky bit. Pass me the blade. Gwen hands it to him. She grimaces as Gaius cuts it out. Gaius tosses it into the fre. Gwen: That's it? Gaius: I believe so. Gwen (relieved): We have the old Merlin back. Arthur is safe once more. Gaius: Let us hope so. --- Agravaine's chambers Arthur slowly enters gravely as Agravaine sits at his desk. Agravaine: Arthur. What an unexpected pleasure. Arthur: There's something I wish to discuss with you, Uncle. Arthur enters slowly, his hand on his sword. Agravaine: Of course. Arthur: I'm afraid I don't take the matter of the traitor as lightly as you do. Agravaine: Sire, I hope you don't think I meant… Arthur holds up a hand to stop him. Arthur: I have been looking into how the mercenaries discovered the route through the forest. None of the knights had the opportunity to betray me. I have questioned the councillors. Only three were aware of the treaty. Of those, none but yourself knew of the route I was planning to take. Agravaine: Are you seriously suggesting that I… ? Arthur: It brings me no pleasure to doubt you, Uncle. Agravaine: Then let me reassure you that you have no reason to doubt. You are all that is left of my dear sister. Agravaine steps closer to Arthur. Agravaine: If I betray you, Arthur, I betray her, and that I will never do. Arthur still isn't convinced. Agravaine: There is one other person who knew your route. Gaius. --- Camelot The sun rises over Camelot. Gaius chambers Merlin emerges from his room with a smile he gathers supplies from Gaius's work table. Gaius wakes. Merlin smiles. Gaius: How do you feel? Merlin: Never better. Gaius: It's great to have you back. Merlin looks confused. Gaius : What do you remember? Merlin: About what? Merlin turns around. Gaius: I take it that means nothing. Gaius spots the Fomorroh in Merlin's neck. Merlin: I got a feeling today is going to be a good day. Gaius stares at Merlin as he leaves. --- Arthur's chambers Arthur: My father prepared me well for being king, but he told me nothing of the loneliness of the job. Merlin pours Arthur's bath water. Arthur: What it's like to have all eyes on you, waiting for you to provide the answer. Merlin pulls out a bottle of salts. Arthur: In all the years I watched him, he never wavered in his certainty. Merlin uncorks the bottle and pours the salts in the water. Arthur: He was strong, he was sure. And I'm not in that place yet. The water foams and bubbles. In the corridor, Gwen and Gaius hurry towards Arthur's chambers. Arthur: I value the guidance of others. Maybe I've been foolish to do so. Merlin places a sword in the bath water. He pulls it out and it's deformed. Those weren't bath salts. Arthur: Everyone has their own agenda. Gwen enters with Gaius and sees Merlin with the deformed sword. Arthur: It feels like I can trust no one anymore. Gwen rushes forward and knocks Merlin out with the same pitcher. Merlin falls back into Gaius's arms and Gaius hides him behind the column. Just then, Arthur chooses to step out from behind the screen completely undressed. Arthur: Is that how you see it, Merlin? Guinevere! Arthur covers himself. Gwen: Arthur! Gwen tries to pretend there's nothing awry, then realises he's naked and averts her eyes. He grabs a pillow from his bed and covers himself more effectively. Arthur tries to act dignified. Arthur: Gaius. Gwen and Gaius just stand there, trying to think of a way out of this. Arthur: You're not Merlin. Gwen: No. There was a problem with the bath water. Arthur: Really? Gwen: Yes. It's cold. Very cold. Arthur steps forward to look at it. Gwen (quickly): Merlin's gone to remedy it. I don't think you can have a bath today! Arthur looks up sharply. Gwen tries to cover her panic with an awkward smile. Arthur steps back. Arthur: Right... Good job I'm not very dirty, then. Gwen (nervous laughter): It's a good job indeed! Gaius chuckles with her, trying to hide and support Merlin behind the column. Arthur nods awkwardly, waiting for them to leave. They don't. He side steps awkwardly behind his dressing screen. --- Gaius chambers Merlin lies face down on a table while Gaius examines the revived Fomorroh. Gwen: So, let me get this straight. If you kll one, another grows in its place. Gaius: I've heard such stories in the past, but never thought they were true. Gaius dabs Merlin's neck with the paralyser concoction. Gaius: That will silence it for a while. Gaius opens a smoking canister and holds it under Merlin's nose. He jerks awake, coughing. Merlin: What is that? Arthur's socks? Gwen smiles a little and Merlin takes in his situation. Merlin: What are you trying to do to me? Gaius: I'm trying to stop you from klling the king. Merlin: Ooh. Merlin staggers as he feels something. Merlin stuffs his face with berries. Gaius: So, you don't remember anything? Merli: I remember Morgana conjuring the snake, but...nothing more. No. Merlin flips through a book. Gaius: Lucky for us you're such a bad assassin. Merlin: Well, all is well now. I feel fine. Gaius: For now the serpent is dormant and when it wakes, your mind will be Morgana's once more and nothing will stop you from klling Arthur. Merlin: But how do we get rid of it, if it keeps growing back? Gaius: There's only one way, I'm afraid. You have to kll the mother beast. Merlin: That creature that lives in Morgana's hut? Gaius nods. Merlin: Great. How long have I got? How long before this thing wakes up? Gaius: A day, no more. And I wouldn't face her alone. Merlin: Don't worry, I won't be there at all. Well, not exactly. Merlin picks up a potion bottle from another table. Merlin: She won't recognise me if I'm eighty-years-old. Merlin hurries off. Gaius: Well, what should I say if Arthur asks for you? Merlin: Er, tell him I'm anywhere. Merlin closes the door, then pops his head back in. Merlin: Anywhere but the tavern. --- Forest Merlin rides through the woods and dismounts. He ties his horse to a tree and ducks behind a tree to turn into Old Merlin. Old Merlin: Ah! Old Merlin walks back to the horse and tries to mount. He struggles, but it's too much for him. Elyan, Leon, Gwaine, and Percival saunter up to him and Old Merlin turns around. Old Merlin: Ah. Gentlemen. What a pleasant surprise. Sir Leon: I wish we could say the same thing. Move away from the horse. Please. Old Merlin: What lovely manners. I do admire a man who says please. Sir Leon: Now. Sir Leon draws his sword and the others follow suit. Old Merlin moves away from the horse and they surround him. Old Merlin regards Percival. Old Merlin: Have you got bigger? Percival: You'll be getting shorter if I have my way. Old Merlin: Nice. I like it. Old Merlin spins around. Old Merlin: Leon, really. There must be something in the Knight's Code about how to treat an old man. Sir Leon: You're not just any old man, though, are you? Gwaine: You escaped the flames once, you won't escape again. Old Merlin: Sir! And you are not what you seem. Gwaine draws his sword. Gwaine: What is he talking about? I'm a good mind to run you through right now. Sir Leon puts out a hand. Sir Leon: I think Arthur would prefer to see him alive. Old Merlin: Oh--oh-oh. No, really, Arthur doesn't not want to see me, believe me. In fact, if Arthur does see me, he will be in grave danger. Elyan is the last to draw his sword. Elyan: Are you thrat the life of our king? Percival pokes Old Merlin in the back with his sword. He pokes him again. Old Merlin: Percival! That is a sword, it does hurt. Yes, I am afraid to say, if you don't let me go, then there is every chance that I will kll your King! Gwaine: Say that again! Old Merlin: Why? Have you got ale in your ears? Gwaine yells and goes for the attck, but Old Merlin holds up a hand and stops him dad in his tracks, knocking him out. Percival tries next, but Old Merlin breaks his sword in half and magically shoves Percival and Leon into each other, then throws them on top of Elyan.] Old Merlin: Ha! Thank you, gentlemen. Merlin uses them as a set of stairs. Old Merlin: So considerate to help an old man. Old Merlin cackles as he climbs onto his horse and rides off. --- Morgana's hovel Morgana: I trust you bring me news of my brother's untimely death? Agravaine: I wish it were so, my lady, but I do bring information of an equally enticing nature. I have planted the seed of suspicion in our young king's mind. I've struck a blow at the very heart of Old Camelot. Morgana: Go on. Agravaine: Arthur grew unsure of my motives, but I've turned the situation to our advantage. Morgana: How so? Agravaine: I've used it to implicate an old friend of yours. Gaius. I think there are some interesting times ahead for our physician. Agravaine goes to pour himself a drink. Morgana: You have done well. But it's hardly information of an enticing kind, is it? Agravaine pauses. Morgana: Is Gaius dad? Agravaine: No. Morgana: I Gaius mortally wounded? Does Gaius have so much as a sore head? Agravaine: No, my lady. Morgana: So, my lord...you can do better. And you will do better. --- Morgana's hovel Old Merlin crawls to the edge of the ridge overlooking Morgana's hovel. He sees her exit with Agravaine. Agravaine heads back to Camelot, but she walks off in the opposite direction. --- Old Merlin enters Morgana's hut and looks through her things. Morgana walks in with some firewood. She looks up and sees Emrys. He snarls and she drops the firewood and backs out quickly, terrified. He's surprised, thinks it over, and then shrugs it off and continues searching. Morgana creeps back in slowly, shaking with fear. Morgana: You're not real. Old Merlin: Whatever you say! She jerks at his barked out reply. He continues searching. She continues slowly forward and pulls out a dagger. He finds the Fomorroh. Morgana: You're just my imagination. Old Merlin: That's right. I'm not really here. Just pretend that I'm not really here and I'll just get this and go. Merlin grabs the jar with the Fomorroh and Morgana moves forward to strike him. Before she goes two steps, his eyes glow and he tosses her backwards into a shelf, knocking it over. Old Merlin hurries off with the Fomorroh jar, but Morgana pursues him. She raises her hand. Morgana: Ablinn du, forlaete du!* Old Merlin is knocked off his feet and the jar goes flying. Morgana smiles in relief of her success. She hurries forward and pulls out her dagger confidently as he lays there. Morgana: So, Emrys, it seems you'll not be my doom after all. She raises the dagger to strike. Old Merlin: *Forp fleoge!* Morgana is thrown backwards. She loses her dagger. They both lie there for a moment, fighting back the pain. Merlin struggles to stand and walks over to her. He raises a hand to curse her. Morgana: If Iam to die by your hand, you can at least tell me who you are. Did Arthur send you? Merlin regards her. Morgana: But you're no friend of his. Magic has no place in Camelot. It never will. Not until I take the throne. Please spare me. I only want what is rightfully mine. Perhaps… you can still be saved. Morgana flicks her hand and the dagger sht from behind Old Merlin. He dodges it, but Morgana sits up and her eyes glow and she throws him with a turn of her head. He gasps in pain. She fetches the Fomorroh jar and begins to walk off. Old Merlin: * Ic her acciege anne windraes! * Old Merlin's spell begins a whirlwind. Old Merlin: * Farbled waw! Windraes ungetermed - gehiere! * Morgana turns and sees what he's doing. She tries to raise a hand to stop it. Old Merlin: * Ic de bebeod mid ealle strangnesse daet du geblawest ond syrmest strange. Ge spurn peos haegtesse!*** Now standing, hand raised, Old Merlin overpowers Morgana and forces the whirlwind towards her. She is thrown through the air and lands unconscious. Old Merlin collapses from the effort. --- Forest Old Merlin sits on a log and lights a fre with a flick of his hand. He removes the lid from the Fomorroh jar and quickly tosses it into the fre. Old Merlin: *Ontend disne wyrm paet he licge unastyred a butan ende!* The Fomorroh squeals and Merlin suddenly jerks as he feels it die in his neck. He sighs in relief. --- Gaius chambers Gaius: This is becoming something of a habit. Merlin (grins with pain): I hope not. Gaius extracts the dad Fomorroh. Gaius: Don't worry. It cannot grow back again. Merlin's feels the back of his neck painfully. Gwen enters happily. Gwen: Merlin. Merlin smiles. Gwen: You're back. Dare I look? Merlin: Don't worry, it's completely gone. I've no desire to kll Arthur. Gwen: That's great news. Although, I'm afraid right now he does want to k*ll you. --- Arthur's chambers Arthur beats his fingers on his arm rest. Arthur: Two whole days in the tavern. Merlin balks. Merlin: I'm not quite sure it was that long. Arthur: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't get rid of you on the spot. Merlin: Because you would have no-one to polish your armour, make you breakfast, organise your clothes… Arthur: Ah, well. That's where you're wrong. George! George enters primly. Arthur: Merlin, meet George. George is, perhaps, the most efficient servant I've ever seen. He'll be spending the rest of the week teaching you. Merlin: Teaching me? Arthur: If you wish to remain in my service. George: We will start in the armoury. Lesson one is my favourite. Polishing. Arthur tries not to laugh. Merlin: Yes, that's my favourite, too. George nods, then jerks his head to indicate Merlin should follow him. Merlin stops at the door. Merlin: Tell me something... Arthur puts on a mock-serious expression as Merlin walks back. Merlin: If he's so good, why don't you just give him the job? Arthur drops the act. Arthur: He's seriously boring. I've never met anyone so dull. The man makes jokes about brass. Arthur pats Merlin on the arm. Arthur: Anyway, off you go. It'll be fun. Arthur is enjoying this. Merlin gives a fake smile and nods and walks to the door. He pauses to look back at Arthur who gives him a smug smile and nod and Merlin exits with a grin. --- Forest Agravaine rides hurriedly to Morgana's hovel. --- Morgana's hovel Morgana's home is trashed when he arrives. Agravaine: Morgana? He stops at the sight of it, then walks in slowly, taking in the wreck. Agravaine: Morgana? Agravaine searches the woods nearby. He spots Morgana lying on the ground and rushes to her. He turns her face toward him gently, clearly distraught. He carries her through the woods.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "04x06 - A Servant of Two Masters"}	foreverdreaming
Episode 4.07 - The Secret Sharer “In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name…Merlin.” MORGANA'S HOVEL - DAY Agravaine strokes Morgana's cheek as she lies unconscious on her bed. He gets up and walks over to the fre. Just then Morgana stirs, dreaming. We flash into her memory of Old Merlin in her house, stealing the Formorroh. Flash to her standing over him in the woods with the dagger. Morgana: So, Emrys... Old Merlin throws her with magic. Flash to Old Merlin standing over her, hand raised to strike with magic. She wakes, wide eyed and terrified, and sits up. Agravaine looks over and sees her awake. Agravaine: Morgana! He goes to her. Agravaine: When I found you, you were unconscious in the woods. What happened to you? Morgana, who did this to you? Morgana (teeth grited): Emrys. Agravaine: The old man? He was here? Morgana: He took the Formorroh. He destroyed it. Agravaine: He knew of our plans to kll Arthur? Morgana: He knows all our plans. All our secrets. He knows everything. Agravaine: Someone's telling him. Agravaine thinks for a moment, then closes his eyes in realisation. Agravaine: Gaius! When I first asked him if he knew Emrys, he claimed not to know, but he was lying. I knew he was lying! Morgana: Gaius. Agravaine: He's the only one in Camelot who would know of the Formorroh. It has to be him. Morgana gets up from the bed, clearly disturbed by her thoughts. Agravaine: He must be telling Emrys everything. Morgana recovers. Morgana: Good. Then he can lead us straight to him. Agravaine: Gaius is loyal and very stubborn. He won't do that willingly. Morgana: Who said he had to be willing? ----------------------------- OPENING TITLES ----------------------------- KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - DAY Merlin opens Arthur's curtains. Merlin: Up you get. King Arthur: What for? Merlin: A bath. King Arthur: Where's breakfast? Merlin: Say, "Ah." King Arthur: Ah? Merlin stuffs some pastry in Arthur's mouth King Arthur (muffled): Merlin! (He spits it out) Merlin hurries to look over some documents on the table. Merlin: Set aside some practice time. King Arthur: Ah, wonderful. What for? Quarterstaff? Battle axe? Merlin: Your speech. King Arthur: Who to? Merlin: The Guild of Harness Polishers. King Arthur: The guild of who? I don't know anything about polishing. Merlin: (unrolling a long scroll) For...tun...ately, I do. King Arthur: That'll take hours to learn. Merlin: You don't have hours. First, you have to receive Odin's envoy. King Arthur: Do I have to give a speech? Merlin: No. You have to listen to one. Arthur rolls his eyes. Merlin: Then you need to inspect the guards, perform a freeman's ceremony, oh...and to be a judge. King Arthur: Preside over a trial? Merlin: A garland competition. King Arthur: (Falling flat on his bed) I never get any time to myself! Merlin: I know, it's almost like having to work. Come on. You don't have time for this. Merlin goes over to the bed and grabs Arthur, trying to drag him out of bed. Arthur struggles to stay under the covers. Merlin: No, come on. No, out of bed. Merlin forces Arthur out of bed along with all his covers. Merlin: You're doing very well, Arthur. King Arthur (on the floor): I don't think so. Merlin fetches Arthur's shirt. Merlin: Everyone's saying it. King Arthur: I'm glad your friends at the tavern approve. Merlin (pulls Arthur to his feet): I'm serious. You're becoming a very good king. King Arthur: Thank you. You're still the worst servant I've ever known. Someone knocks on the door. King Arthur: Enter. Agravaine enters. Agravaine: Good morning, my Lord. May I have a word? King Arthur: Of course. Agravaine: Er...the matter I wish to discuss is a delicate one, Sire. Perhaps it'd be better if we talked alone. FOREST - DAY Morgana rides through the woods. She approaches a city on a peninsula KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - DAY Arthur dresses behind his screen. Agravaine: We know there is a traitor amongst us. King Arthur: I wish I could deny it. Agravaine: But we have to consider everyone. Even those dearest to us. No one can be above suspicion. King Arthur: Of course. Agravaine: So...one of your knights? King Arthur: No. Agravaine: You sure? King Arthur: I would vouch for each and every one of them. Agravaine: Well, I have suggested Gaius before, but...I can't believe that he'd betray you. King Arthur: Nor I. Gaius has always been a loyal servant. Indeed, a friend. To me and my father. Agravaine: Well...it was Gaius who told you where to find the sorcerer that klled your father, wasn't it? And we do know that he has dabbled in sorcery. What if his interest in the dark arts has been rekindled? King Arthur: I've always believed I can trust Gaius. Agravaine: Oh, me too. Perhaps I am being a little hasty. But it wouldn't do any harm to ask him some questions, would it? King Arthur: I'm not sure there's any need. Agravaine: Oh, I believe there is, Sire. We're talking about your safety, and the safety of the realm. Somebody is plotting against you, and it is my duty to investigate every possibility, however unlikely. I'm sure that Gaius himself would respect that. CATHAR CITY - DAY Morgana walks through a market filled with townsfolk wearing turbans. She enters a temple. CATHAR TEMPLE- DAY Morgana approaches the guard in the corridor. Morgana: I wish to see the Cathar…He's expecting me. The guard moves aside. Morgana walks in. The Cathar is kneeling, praying. She faces him. Morgana: You are Alator of the Cathar, warrior and priest. Alator: You are Morgana Pendragon, High Priestess of the Triple Goddess, and last of your kind (he stands up). What do you seek here? Morgana: I need you to abduct someone. From Camelot. Alator: Camelot is no friend to our kind. From what I hear, the young king follows Uther's ways. Morgana: You are a Cathar. Such things would not stop you. Alator: Why should I risk my life for you? Morgana approaches him and holds out her arm with the healing bracelet. Morgana: Because I am willing to give you something in return. It was forged on the Isle of the Blessed by a High Priestess. Its healing powers are without equal in the five kingdoms. Alator takes the bracelet from her wrist. Alator: There is true power here. This is a precious gift. The person you seek must be important to you. Morgana: Yes. I hope the man will lead me to my mortal enemy…Emrys. Alator: It is as you wish. I will perform this task for you. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY Arthur plays with his rings as guards escort Gaius into the room. He lingers in the background while Agravaine greets Gaius. Agravaine: Please, sit down. Gaius: Why have I been brought here in this manner? Agravaine: As the king's right hand man, one of my jobs is to ensure his safety. Agravaine holds out a chair for Gaius, who sits. Agravaine: That means asking questions, even of his most trusted servants. Then, so be it. No one is to take offence. Gaius: Have I done something wrong, Sire? Arthur doesn't have time to answer as Agravaine sits down across from Gaius and starts to question him. Agravaine: What is your attitude to sorcery, Gaius? Gaius looks at Arthur, who waits for his answer. Gaius: It is against the law. Agravaine: And do you agree with that? Gaius: I understand the reason for it. Agravaine: That's not an answer to the question that I asked. Gaius: The law is needed to prevent the abuses that have been perpetrated by sorcerers. Agravaine: Can I ask you to be a little more direct with your answers? Do you agree that magic should be banned? Yes or no? Gaius: Yes. Agravaine: Have you ever practiced sorcery? Gaius: A long time ago. Agravaine: Recently? Gaius: No. Agravaine: Then how did you know the sorcerer (looks at Arthur) that klled Uther? Gaius: I'd heard of him. Agravaine: You told Arthur where to find him. Gaius looks at Arthur. Gaius: Yes. Agravaine: That suggests you did know him. Gaius: I was told of a dwelling where he could be found. Agravaine: Who by? Gaius: I cannot say. Agravaine: Have you ever met with him? It's a simple enough question, Gaius. Have you met him, yes or no? Gaius takes a breath and looks down before answering. Gaius: No. Agravaine can tell he's lying. Agravaine: And you would be prepared to swear to that? Gaius: Yes. Agravaine: On oath? Gaius: Yes. Agravaine: Humph. Thank you, Gaius. It's been most informative. Agravaine is clearly pleased to have caught Gaius lying. Gaius: Is that it? Agravaine: Mmm…for today. Arthur stares at the floor in the background. Agravaine glares at Gaius as he leaves. They wait until the doors close and Arthur steps forward. King Arthur: Is it really necessary to treat him like that? Arthur sits on the throne. Agravaine: Your life is at stake, Sire. We cannot afford to be fainthearted. Agravaine stands. Agravaine: And you saw with your own eyes he was lying. King Arthur: He's definitely hiding something. Agravaine scoffs. King Arthur: But we can't be certain. We have no proof. Agravaine: No. You're right, Sire. We do not. But I fear that if we keep investigating, we might find some. Agravaine exits, leaving Arthur alone in the council room. FOREST - DAY Alator rides through the woods with his guard. They stop for a view of Camelot. LOWER TOWN - NIGHT A guard leads a horse up the street. Alator steps out of the shadows with is guard and follows him. KING'S PALACE, AGRAVAINE'S CHAMBER - NIGHT Merlin knocks on the open door. Agravaine: Come in…close the door, would you? Merlin closes the door and walks into the room. Agravaine: Merlin. I realise what a loyal and trusted servant you are, so I have a very special errand for you. Agravaine smiles and unwraps a dagger. He pulls it out of its sheath and holds it up, walking very close to Merlin. Merlin looks uneasy. Agravaine: What do you think? Merlin: It's beautiful. Agravaine: Present for Arthur. Merlin relaxes and smiles. Agravaine: It's been crafted by the sword smiths of Gedref, but unfortunately, the blade has become somewhat dulled during the journey. Agravaine sheathes the dagger and hands it to Merlin. Agravaine: Would you sharpen it for me? Merlin: Of course. Agravaine smiles and turns back to his chair. Agravaine: Oh, and Merlin... Merlin turns around on his way to the door. Agravaine: Leave it for the king to find in the morning. Merlin: It would be my pleasure. ROYAL sab - NIGHT A guard leads a horse into the sab. Alator and his bodyguard sneak in and wait for the guard to leave. They untie a white horse. Alator: Ga on wuda! The horse runs out of the sab and off through the lower town. KING'S PALACE, BATTLEMENTS - NIGHT Alator and his bodyguard hide under the battlements as guards pass by. They make their way to a door in the wall. Agravaine opens the door from the inside. Agravaine: You're late! Alator: Let us not waste time, then. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Gaius is working late. He hears something. Gaius: Merlin? Alator grabs Gaius from behind with a hand over his mouth. Alator: Onslæp nu! Gaius falls asleep and collapses into the bodyguard's arms. FOREST - NIGHT The bodyguard tosses Gaius onto a horse and they ride off. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Agravaine enters with a bag. He plants a book titled "Witchcraft, Sorcery & Magic" in the room, and quickly packs some of Gaius's things. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin places the sharpened dagger next to Arthur's bed while he sleeps. The warning bells sound and Arthur jolts awake. He looks over at Merlin who smiles at him. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Guards toss Gaius's possessions, breaking many of them. Agravaine holds the book he has planted. Agravaine: My Lord, he was seen riding away from the city. Sir Leon enters. Merlin: That can't be true. Sir Leon: Sire. (to Agravaine) You were right. A white stallion has been taken from the royal sab. King Arthur: Well, where would he be going? Why leave at this time of night? Agravaine: Well, I could hazard a guess, Sire, but I think a thorough search of his belongings may well provide us with the truth. FOREST – DAY Alator and the bodyguard ride through the forest with Gaius. They reach a large natural stone bridge and mining caves. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY Arthur flips through the books of sorcery that are scattered on the table. King Arthur: And this was found in Gaius's chambers? Agravaine: I am as disappointed as you, Sire. Someone so close, so trusted. And it's not merely the discovery that he was a sorcerer, is it? It's... it's the lies. Merlin watches Arthur, angered by Agravaine's lies. Agravaine: The lies and years of betrayal. Arthur drops the spell book on the table, upset. Agravaine: I know it's hard to believe, isn't it, Sire? But we both saw him refuse to condemn magic. We both knew he was hiding something. And neither of us wanted to believe it, but...now, with this...hasty departure in the middle of the night? These are not the actions of an innocent man, Sire. There can be no doubt. Gaius is the traitor. Arthur leans back in his chair, still struggling Agravaine's words. Agravaine: I'll send a search party as soon as possible. King Arthur: No. What purpose will that serve? Let him run. Agravaine (bows): As you wish, Sire. Agravaine exits. Merlin (About Agravaine's accusations against Gaius): How can you believe this? Arthur looks down for a moment. King Arthur: I know how you must feel. We questioned him. He's been consorting with sorcerers. He more or less admitted to it. Merlin: And that makes him a traitor. King Arthur: Why run if you have nothing to hide? Merlin: He's given his life to this kingdom. He would never betray you. King Arthur: Then explain his actions. Merlin finally looks at Arthur. Merlin: All right. They're lies. Gaius would never run off in the night. King Arthur: Look, I know it's hard. But no break-ins were reported. His possessions are missing. A horse has been stolen. Merlin (At the verge of tears): He would not leave without saying goodbye to me. Merlin looks away again and stares in the opposite direction. Arthur sighs. Merlin: Agravaine has made this story up. King Arthur: I shall ignore that last comment. Merlin: Because he's your uncle, you will not see who he really is. King Arthur: Merlin! I've had my heart broken enough already today. I don't want to lose another friend. Arthur stands up briskly. King Arthur: Gaius...(holds up the book of magic)…condemned himself…(slaps the book on the table on his way out)…there's no more to be said. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - DAY Alator enters the cave. The bodyguard lays Gaius on a slanted slab of rock and Gaius stirs. Morgana: You've had a difficult journey. You must be tired. It's time to wake up. Morgana strokes his cheek and Gaius wakes. Morgana: It's time for the fun to begin. Gaius: Get on with it, Morgana. Whatever you want to do, just do it now. I'm not afraid to die. Morgana: Dying is the easy part. I wouldn't be in such a hurry if I were you. My friend here's going to help me get some information. Gaius looks at Alator for the first time. Morgana: Some information you might be a little reluctant to give. I want you to tell me where Emrys is. Gaius: I don't know anyone called Emrys. Morgana: Oh, I think you do. Gaius: Do what you will. I will never tell you anything, Morgana. Morgana: Alator is no ordinary torturer. He's a Cathar...priest of the Old Religion. He has at his disposal some skills only known by initiates. But you're a learned man, Gaius. I'm sure you know exactly what he can do. Morgana leaves and Agravaine follows her out. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Merlin sits on the floor reading a sheet of parchment. The door opens and he looks at it expectantly. It's Gwen. He turns back, disappointed. Merlin: I thought you were him. Gwen walks to him. She sits on the floor beside him and puts a hand on his shoulder. Merlin: Agravaine's behind this. He's done something to Gaius. Gwen: Arthur told me what you said. Merlin: He won't listen to me. Gwen: I'll do what I can, but...Agravaine's his uncle. He...he trusts him more than anyone. Merlin: Yeah. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - DAY Alator (spell): Ligfyr onbærne swiþe. Alator's eyes glow and a circle of flame rises up around Gaius's stone slab. Alator: Do not resist the fre. Let it enter your mind. Let the flames search out your thoughts. Feel them burn into the darkest recesses of your mind. Let them shine a torch on your deepest secrets. Bring them to the light. Gaius (looks in pain): Acwence þa bælblyse (the spell puts the fre out) Alator (surprised Casts another spell): Fyr wiþere! (it reignites the fre with more intensity). KING'S PALACE, AGRAVAINE'S CHAMBER - NIGHT Merlin searches Agravaine's chamber. He finds a chest under the bed and pulls it out. It's locked. His eyes glow and it unlatches. It's filled with books of Sorcery. Upset, Merlin shoves the box back under the bed. He notices a pair of boots nearby with reddish soil all over them. He rubs his thumb across the boot and picks up some of the dirt. He sniffs it and notices its odd smell. The door unlatches and he hides behind the dressing screen. Agravaine has a mirror set up in a position that allows him a view of the room, so Merlin can see where he is. Agravaine starts to undress and walks around the screen. Merlin has slipped around to the other side while Agravaine pulled off his shirt. Agravaine sees Merlin sneaking off in the strategic mirror. Merlin leaves and he steps around the screen, putting his shirt back on. He looks down by the bed and sees his boots with a thumb mark of dirt missing. He grits his teeth. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Gwaine is sitting on a bench, waiting for Merlin. Merlin stops as he enters. Merlin: What are you doing in here? Sir Gwaine: Got bored of playing soldiers. And I thought I'd come and see how you were. Still suspicious, Merlin takes a bag off the back of the door and opens it for Gwaine to exit before heading to a work table. Merlin: I'm busy. Sir Gwaine: Doing what? Merlin: What do you think? Sir Gwaine: Looking for Gaius. Merlin: I know everyone thinks he's a traitor, but he's not. He's been abducted, Gwaine. He may even be dad. Merlin turns to look at a book and brings a candle closer to examine the dirt. Sir Gwaine: Probably don't need my help, then. They exchange a look and Merlin softens. Merlin (holds up his dirty thumb): Do you know what this is? Sir Gwaine: Might do. (he gets up) Here. Let me see. Merlin holds out his hand and Gwaine takes a swipe of the dirt and smells it. Sir Gwaine: That's iron ore. Where'd you find this? Merlin: That doesn't matter. Does it help us? Sir Gwaine: Iron ore's pretty rare in Camelot. In fact, I've only seen it once, on a patrol. Merlin: Where? Sir Gwaine: Er...ridge of Chemary. They've been hewing iron from rocks there for hundreds of years. KING'S PALACE, MAIN SQUARE - NIGHT From his window, Agravaine sees Merlin and Gwaine ride out of Camelot. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - NIGHT Alator: Feel the fre roar deep within you. Feel your thoughts begin to simmer. Let them flee the rushing flames. Let them run like burning oil. Let them escape. Allow them free, Gaius. Gaius struggles against the magic. Alator: Tell me. Who...is...Emrys? FOREST - NIGHT Agravaine gallops through the forest. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Agravaine bursts in. Agravaine: Merlin's onto us. He's out searching for Gaius even as we speak. He may even know where he's hidden. They both hurry out of the hovel. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - NIGHT Merlin and Gwaine head into the mining caves. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - NIGHT Alator continues his mental trture. Alator: Tell me about Emrys. Tell me, Gaius. Where can we find Emrys? Gaius struggles not to speak, but can't help himself. Gaius: In Camelot. Alator: Where in Camelot? Gaius: Emrys is…Emrys is a name by which he is known to the druids, but to me...I know him by a different name. Alator: Tell me, Gaius. Gaius starts to form Merlin's name… Gaius: No! Alator places his hands on Gaius’s head. Alator: Who is he? Gaius: H…he is the most powerful sorcerer who has ever lived. Alator: What is his name? Gaius: His name...is...(struggles to not speak)…Merlin. RIDGE OF CHEMARY, CAVE ENTRANCE - NIGHT Merlin and Gwaine enter the mine. Merlin notices the same iron ore on his boots. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - NIGHT Now Gaius is not fighting anymore and he continues to speak. Gaius: For the druids' legends are true. Merlin is...Emrys. A man destined for greatness. A man who will one day unite the powers of the old world and the new, and bring the time that the poets speak of. The time...of Albion. Gaius closes his eyes. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - NIGHT Merlin and Gwaine are still looking for Gaius The bodyguard jumps out at them. Gwaine fights him, but eventually Merlin steps in and, with a flash of the eyes, the guard is down. Alator hears the bodyguard's scream. Merlin helps Gwaine to his feet. FOREST - NIGHT Agravaine and Morgana ride hard for the caves. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - NIGHT Gwaine and Merlin come to a fork in their search. Merlin: We should split up. Sir Gwaine: Yeah. Merlin: Gwaine. If you find him, don't wait for me. Gwaine nods. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - DAY Agravaine and Morgana arrive. Agravaine dismounts. Agravaine: The black horse belongs to Gawain. He's a hot head. We've got to be careful of him. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - DAY Gwaine keeps searching. Agravaine and Morgana enter. Morgana: Go to Gaius. If he remains alive, we're all in danger. Agravaine: You can rest assured, he won't breathe another word. Morgana: I'll deal with Merlin and this hot head. They separate. Merlin continues searching and sees firelight ahead. He ducks into hiding as Alator comes around the corner. Alator stops, but doesn't look down to see Merlin. He leaves and Merlin carries on his search. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - DAY Agravaine finds Gaius. He steps into the stone circle and checks Gaius, who's still alive. Agravaine pulls out a dagger and goes for Gaius's throat. Sir Gwaine: Agravaine! So it was you! You abducted him. Agravaine: What? No! Sir Gwaine: What are you doing? Gwaine places his sword at Agravaine's throat. Agravaine: He's unconscious, I'm trying to help. Sir Gwaine (about Agravaine’s dagger): With that? Agravaine: I want to see if he's still breathing. Agravaine lifts the dagger from Gaius's throat to his nose. Sir Gwaine: And is he? Agravaine: Just. You can see the breath still on the blade, look. Gwaine holds the torch near the dagger and Agravaine parries Gwaine's sword. Agravaine: Now do you believe me? Gwaine puts his sword back at Agravaine's throat. Sir Gwaine: Then how did you know he was here? Agravaine pauses, thinking on his feet. Agravaine: Guards at the western gate saw you and Merlin leave. Knowing Merlin's concern for Gaius, I thought it must be some new information at hand. So, I just followed your trail. Gwaine backs off and nods. Sir Gwaine: You agree he was abducted, then? Agravaine: Yes, of course he was. Now, we must get him back to Camelot without delay. Come on. Sir Gwaine: We have to find Merlin first. Agravaine: No! Gwaine looks back, suspicious. Agravaine: I fear if we do not leave now, Gaius will not survive. We've no time to lose. Give me a hand! Gwaine starts to go anyway. Agravaine: Look, the people who took Gaius have already fled. I saw them with my own eyes from the ridge. We must get back to Camelot by night fall. Gwaine hesitates. Agravaine: Come on, Gawain! Help me! Please! Gwaine sheathes his sword and goes to help. Agravaine: Merlin can find his own way back. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - DAY Merlin reaches a dad end. He turns back the way he came only to be thrown backwards by Morgana. Morgana: You really are a thorn in my side, aren't you? (pulls out a dagger) When will you learn not to meddle with things you couldn't possibly understand? Morgana throws the dagger and controls it to stay at Merlin's throat as he scampers backwards on the ground. Morgana: It's difficult, isn't it? When there are so many different and painful ways for me to be finally rid of you. Merlin: I don't care what you do to me. I want to know what you've done to Gaius. Morgana: Well, Gaius had some information I needed. The whereabouts of the sorcerer Emrys. If he gave it to me willingly, his suffering would not be prolonged, but...if he did not... Morgana smirks. Merlin: If you have harmed him... Morgana: Why are we discussing his fate when it's time to decide yours? Not whether you're going to die alone here in this godforsaken place. That's gonna happen anyway. But how ? Or more precisely how painfully ? Alator enters. Morgana: Alator, this is Merlin. Alator is surprised and looks more closely at Merlin. Morgana: He's just a serving boy, but he's the most troublesome serving boy I've ever known. I take it your time with Gaius was fruitful? Alator looks at Morgana. Alator: Gaius told me everything. Merlin looks at Alator. Morgana: So you know who Emrys is? Alator: Indeed I do. Alator walks forward and Morgana follows a few steps, desperate for his answer. Alator (ducking by Merlin's side): Not only do I know who Emrys is, I know exactly where he is. Morgana: Then tell me. Alator (looks at her): Never. Alator stands and aims his staff at her. Alator: Forþ fleoge! Morgana screams as she's thrown backwards against a rock and collapses unconscious. The dagger at Merlin's throat drops. Merlin scrambles to his feet. Alator: Merlin, I am Alator of the Cathar. I am honoured to be of service. Merlin: You have magic! Alator (nods): I understand the burden you carry. I have lived with it all my life. I have been shunned, persecuted, and sometimes even hunted in every corner of the five kingdoms. I understand what that feels like. You're not alone. From what Gaius told me, I do not have your great powers, Merlin, but I share your hopes. For I, and others like me, have dreamt of the world you seek to build. And we would gladly give our lives to help you do it. Alator kneels to Merlin who sighs in amazement. KING'S PALACE, DRAWBRIDGE - DAY Gwaine and Agravaine ride into the square with Gaius slung across Gwaine's horse. KING'S PALACE, GRIFFIN STAIRCASE - DAY Gwaine jogs up the stairs ahead of the guards carrying Gaius. He meets Arthur on the landing. King Arthur: What happened? Sir Gwaine: We found him. He'd been kidnapped. Arthur looks at Gwaine. He looks worried. Sir Gwaine: He's in a bad way. They follow the guards carrying Gaius, Agravaine behind them. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Agravaine and Arthur watch Gwen mopping Gaius's forehead. Agravaine: It seems I misjudged Gaius. Merlin was right all along. King Arthur: We were lucky he found him. Agravaine: Indeed. If it hadn't been for the tenacity of your boy, Gaius would be dad. We both owe Gaius and Merlin an apology, my Lord. Arthur leaves. Agravaine follows him after a last look at Gaius. RIDGE OF CHEMARY - DAY Morgana wakes in the cave. She picks up her healing bracelet which has been thrown to the ground by Alator. She looks frightened. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Merlin sits by Gaius's bedside. Gaius wakes. Gaius: I'm ashamed. Merlin: Why? Gaius: Your secret. A secret I thought I'd protect with my life. Merlin: Gaius, you could've died. Gaius: But if Morgana had found out... Merlin: She didn't. She didn't count on Alator's true loyalties. Gaius: I worry that one day I'll let you down. Merlin: My worry is Arthur. Gaius: We can't tell him about Agravaine. Merlin: He needs to know. Gaius: We don't have any evidence. And you've seen how dear he is to Arthur. Arthur knocks and enters. King Arthur (looks tense): I think I owe both of you an apology. Merlin (still a bit angry): Not to me. To Gaius. King Arthur: Yes…Merlin, will you give us a moment? Merlin gives Gaius a mischievous look and his mouth turns up in a cheeky manner. Merlin: Does that mean I get the morning off? Gaius smiles. King Arthur (relieved): Yes. Merlin raises his eyebrows, smiling. King Arthur: Yes, you can have the morning off to...clean my chambers, polish my armour, and launder my clothes. Merlin turns to Arthur. Merlin: You certainly know how to apologise. Arthur grins with an amused shrug. They share a look and Arthur nods to him as Merlin leaves. Arthur approaches Gaius's sickbed. King Arthur: Are you all right? Gaius: I'm just glad it's all over. King Arthur: I made a mistake. Gaius: I've looked after you since you were a nurseling, Arthur. You should've known I love you far too much ever to betray you. Arthur looks touched. King Arthur: Gaius...who abducted you? Gaius swallows hard and considers for a moment how to answer. Gaius: I couldn't say. But I'm certain they were in league with Morgana. King Arthur: What did they want? Gaius: Information. About you...Camelot...to help bring down the kingdom. King Arthur (softly): Did they get it? Gaius (shakes his head): Morgana got nothing from me. Arthur sighs in relief. He sits in the chair that Merlin vacated and grasps Gaius's hand. King Arthur: I'm grateful. Arthur braces his arms on his legs. King Arthur (softly): But there's a matter that still concerns me. When you were asked about the sorcerer who klled my father...you lied. Gaius: I did, Sire. King Arthur (softly): You admit it? Gaius: I chose to protect him. I feared you would seek him out and execute him. That would've been a grave mistake. The sorcerer did not kll your father. Uther was dying. He tried everything in his power to save him. Gaius sees Arthur having difficulty with what he said. Gaius: Contained within this great kingdom is a rich variety of people with a range of different beliefs. I'm not the only one seeking to protect you. There are many more who believe in the world you are trying to create. One day you will learn, Arthur. One day you will understand...just how much they've done for you. Arthur processes Gaius's words and nods.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "04x07 - The Secret Sharer"}	foreverdreaming
Episode 4.08 - Lamia “In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name...Merlin”. LONGSTEAD, THE HOWDENS' HOUSE - NIGHT John stirs the fre while Mary folds a blanket. John Howden: There's a chill in the air tonight. Mary chuckles. John Howden: What? Mary Howden: You say that every night. John Howden: Do I now? Mary Howden: Only for the last thirty years. Stop your fussing and come to bed. There is a scream outside. John lights a torch and gets up. Mary grabs his arm. Mary Howden: John...don't go outside, I'm begging you. John Howden: It's my duty. I'm the elder of this village. Mary Howden: John, please! John Howden: Lock the door behind me. Let no one in. No one, do you hear? John searches outside. He enters a common building and sees a door opening and closing with the wind. He steps through the doorway and a man falls on him. John supports him and looks at his pale, staring face. John Howden: Aldref? Aldref is limp on his feet, eyes wide. John looks around him. John Howden: Hello? Is there anybody there? Nearby a figure slithers out of sight. ------------------------ OPENING TITLES ------------------------ LOWER TOWN, GWEN'S HOUSE - DAY Gwen is at home. Someone knocks at the door. She opens it. Mary Howden: Gwen? Gwen: Mary? Mary Howden: I was told I might find you here. Gwen: Mary ! (pulls Mary into her house). What a wonderful surprise! Mary Howden: I hope I'm not interrupting anything. Gwen: No, no, not at all. What brings you to Camelot? Mary Howden: I don't want to trouble you, Gwen. John and I, I…I know we haven't seen you for many years, but...there was no one else we could turn to. Gwen: What is it? Mary Howden: Just...we're just so scared. Gwen: Oh, Mary... They hug. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - DAY Gwen and Mary sit at the table. Gwen holds Mary's hand. King Arthur: Guinevere informs me that you live in Longstead in the Fiore Mountains, is that right? Mary Howden: That's right, Sire. Our village…we are blighted by a sickness. Three good men it has taken now. We have no physician, Sire. It is beyond our understanding. King Arthur: I see. Mary Howden: Forgive me. I have no right to bring such a small matter before the king. King Arthur: You have every right (he sits) It's my responsibility to protect the people of this kingdom, whoever they may be. Mary Howden: You'll help us? King Arthur: I'll do whatever I can. Mary looks hopefully at Gwen and touches her hand. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS – DAY Merlin cares for a sick patient while Gaius speaks with Arthur. Gaius: This is the fourth case of sweating sickness I've seen today. In normal circumstances, I'd be happy to travel to this village to investigate, but… King Arthur: Of course. I understand. Gaius: Might I make a suggestion, Sire? Why not send Merlin in my place? Merlin looks at Gaius and Gaius looks at Arthur. King Arthur: (dubious): Merlin? Gaius: He has a knowledge of the healing arts. If the diagnosis is straightforward, he can prescribe a remedy, I'm sure. King Arthur: And what if it isn't? Gaius: Then he can bring his findings to me. King Arthur: "Findings"? Merlin can't find his own backside most of the time. Gaius: I think he's capable of much more than you imagine, Sire. King Arthur: (aside to Gaius): Do you really think he'll be able to...handle the responsibility? Gaius: Yes, Sire. I do. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin: Do you really think I can do this, Gaius? Gaius: I know you can. Merlin: I'm not a physician. I don't have anything like the knowledge you do. Gaius: You've been working for me for many years, Merlin. I suspect you know more than you think you do. Merlin: I just do what you tell me to do. I don't have to make the decisions myself. These people will be putting their lives in my hands. Gaius: I put my life in your hands every day, Merlin, as does Arthur and Gwen and all of Camelot, though they may not know it. You're the one who holds the fate of this kingdom in the balance. Merlin: That's different. That doesn't require a lifetime of learning, just… Gaius: Intelligence, courage, compassion (Merlin smiles) All I know is...I have every faith in you. KING'S PALACE, MERLIN'S CHAMBER Merlin packs for the journey. Gaius enters. Gaius: Merlin. Before you go (holds out his medicine bag), you'll need this. Merlin: Oh, I can't take that, Gaius. That's your medicine bag. Gaius: Don't worry. I've got plenty of spare supplies. Merlin: Thanks, Gaius. Gaius: Are you ready? Merlin: As I'll ever be. Gaius nods with a smile. FOREST - DAY Mary, Merlin, and Gwen ride off with the knights. They stop at the top of a hill. Mary Howden: My village lies at the foot of those mountains. Sir Leon: With luck, we should be there by nightfall. LONGSTEAD - NIGHTFALL A few villagers gather as they arrive. Mary dismounts and John greets her with a hug. Gwen: John (she hugs him). It's good to see you. We came as quickly as we could. John Howden: Words cannot express our gratitude, Gwen. (he looks up) Where's Gaius? Merlin: I'm sorry. He was needed in Camelot, but I will help in any way that I can. John Howden (to Gwen): We're living in fear for our lives. We need a skilled physician, not a boy. Sir Elyan (offended): His name is Merlin. Gwen: He was appointed acting physician by King Arthur himself. Merlin: Where are they? John points. Merlin and Gwen head off in that direction. LONGSTEAD, TEMPORARY WARD - NIGHT Merlin uses a small mirror to check for breath. Merlin: They're alive, but only just. How long have they been like this? John Howden: Two or three days. We've tried to feed them, keep them warm, but nothing seems to make any difference. Gwen: And you've no idea what happened to them? John Howden: No. It just strikes suddenly, without warning. Merlin: Well, we need to stimulate the blood flow. Poultice of betulial should work, and a tincture of belladonna to stimulate the heart. Gwen nods to his instructions. John Howden: Will it kll them? Will it...bring them back? Merlin: Let's see what the morning brings. Right now we need hot water and plenty of blankets. Gwen and John leave. Merlin waits to be alone and turns to one of the patients. Merlin: Ic þe þurhhæle þin licsare! Merlin's eyes glow, but nothing happens. LONGSTEAD, TEMPORARY WARD - NIGHT Merlin is reading. He hears a hissing sound outside. He takes a fishing rod by the door and goes to investigate. After a tense moment with more hissing, he turns around the corner of the house and is startled by Gwaine. Merlin: Gwaine! Sir Gwaine: Sorry. Call of nature. Merlin: I could've klled you! Sir Gwaine: With a fishing rod? "Sir Gwaine was slain...with a fishing rod"? Merlin laughs. Sir Gwaine: That's the stuff of legends, eh? Gwaine chuckles and walks off. Merlin hears the hissing again, but nothing's there. He follows Gwaine. LONGSTEAD, TEMPORARY WARD - DAY Merlin and Gwen see to the sick. Merlin: I barely feel a pulse. John enters. John Howden: How are they? Merlin: I'm afraid the treatments have had no effect. John Howden: You mean they're dying. Merlin: I'm sorry. There's something at work here that I don't understand. John Howden: Are you suggesting sorcery? Merlin: That's...possible, yes. John Howden: I feared as much. The other night, when I found Aldref, I felt a...a presence. An evil in the air. Merlin turns to Gwen. Merlin: We need to get back to Gaius. Only he can explain this. LONGSTEAD - DAY Gwen, Merlin, and the knights ride out. FOREST - DAY Sir Leon sees campfire smoke and holds up a hand to stop the group. Sir Leon: Dismount and muzzle your horses. Not a sound, any of you. They dismount and they sneak closer on foot. Merlin: Bandits ? Sir Elyan (nods): Looks like it. Sir Leon: We'll skirt their camp. With any luck, we'll reach the plain unnoticed. Sir Gwaine sees a girl with her hands tied being jostled by the men. Sir Gwaine: Over there. Sir Gwaine draws his sword and rushes down to the camp. The others follow. They kll most of the bandits, and the rest flee. Sir Percival: Over here. Sir Percival is cradling the unconscious girl. Sir Percival: Looks like we're too late. Merlin checks her. Merlin: No, she's… The girl screams and tries to get away from Merlin. Sir Percival: Hey. Hey. Hey, it's all right. It's all right. Gwen crouches down next to them. The girl settles down as Percival cradles her and looks into her eyes. Sir Percival: We're knights of Camelot. You're safe now. You're safe. Gwen: Here (she reaches to untie the girl's bonds and the girl squirms). My name's Gwen. What's yours? Lamia: Lamia. My name is Lamia. Merlin gets out some medical supplies. Gwen: What happened to you, Lamia? Lamia: I…was travelling home and the bandits took me. They… (whimpers and snuggles against Sir Percival). Merlin: Your hands. Did they do this to you? Merlin reaches to tend to Lamia's wrists, but she recoils from his touch. Lamia: No ! No ! Sir Leon crouches down and puts a hand on Lamia’s arm. Sir Leon: Are you strong enough to ride? She nods. Sir Leon: Then let's get out of here before they return. Sir Percival picks up Lamia and they head off. FOREST - DAY They all lead their horses, Lamia sits on Percival’s. Sir Leon: We'll be safe here till the morning. The group stops and Merlin offers Lamia help to dismount. Merlin: Here. She hisses Sir Percival: Hey! (pushes merlin) Get away from her, Merlin ! (picks her in his arms)…and stay away. Gwen (low): Merlin, he didn't mean it. They're just tired, that's all. FOREST CAMP - NIGHT Sir Percival takes the first watch. He hears a girl crying in the woods and goes to investigate. He finds Lamia curled up by a tree. He kneels down and comforts her. Sir Percival: Don't worry (stroking her face) No harm can come to you now. Sir Percival holds her close and her eyes glow green with a hiss. She lifts her face up, but a twig snaps and Percival stands up, sword ready for attck. Merlin: Sorry. Sir Percival lowers the sword. Lamia glares at Merlin. Merlin: Would you like some water? Merlin holds out a flask. Sir Percival ignores him, returns to Lamia, and walks off with his arm around her. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - NIGHT King Arthur: It's been two days. They should be back by now. Agravaine: There must be some delay at Longstead, Sire. King Arthur: If there was a delay, they would have sent word. Agravaine: Then the bridge is down at Brechfa River. King Arthur: No, I already checked. A patrol passed through there yesterday. Agravaine: Well, should I send some scouts out to search for them? King Arthur: Gaius, is your work done here? Gaius: Yes, Sire. I'm satisfied the sweating sickness is all but passed. King Arthur: Then we leave for Longstead at first light. CAMELOT - DAY Arthur's party rides out. FOREST - DAY Gwen: Would you… Gwen tries to hand Lamia a bowl of food, but Lamia flinches away from her. Gwen: I'll just put it here. Gwen places the bowl nearby and walks over to Merlin. Gwen: She still won't eat. No appetite at all. Poor girl. Sir Leon: Pack your bags. We ride East with the rising sun. Merlin: Wait...East? Camelot lies West of here. Sir Elyan: Lamia has asked that we take her home. Merlin: No, we need to get Gaius. Sir Gwaine: Gaius can wait. Merlin: We were sent to help the people of Longstead. Their lives depend on us. Sir Leon: You dare to question our judgment? You are not a knight! You're not even a physician! You're nothing but a servant! Come on. Gwen: Please! Listen! Merlin's right, we have to get back to… Sir Elyan: Stay out of this, Gwen. It's none of your business. Gwen is surprised and confused. The knights all help Lamia on their way. Gwen scoffs in disbelief. Merlin is suspicious. FOREST - DAY Arthur's party rides through the forest. Arthur sends out a scout and dismounts. Gaius dismounts and approaches him. Gaius: Is anything wrong, Sire? King Arthur (whispers): Listen. No birdsong. Nothing. The scout comes back. Knight (whisper): Sire! Arthur draws his sword from his horse. They discover a Southron camp, corpses lying on the forest floor. King Arthur: Does anything strike you as odd about these bodies? Gaius: Yes, Sire. There's not a mark on them. King Arthur: Not so much as a scratch. Agravaine: Over here, my Lord! Arthur approaches a prison wagon. King Arthur: Southron slve traders by the looks of it. Agravaine: What were they transporting? Some kind of an animal? Gaius (examines scratch marks on the wood): No. These marks were made by humans. And whoever they were, they did anything they had to to get out. One of the Southrons moans. Arthur and Gaius check on him. King Arthur: Can he be treated? Gaius: I… I could try, Sire. But I'll need time and somewhere to work. King Arthur (to knights): He comes with us! (to Gaius) We'll make Longstead in a matter of hours. FOREST - DAY Sir Leon heads towards Lamia to offer her some water but Sir Gwaine gets the water skin from him, pushing Sir Leon away. Sir Leon grabs Sir Gwaine by the arm and stops him. Sir Leon: Why don't you watch what you're doing? Sir Gwaine: Why don't you watch your damn tongue? Sir Leon: You'd do well to learn some manners. Sir Gwaine: Nothing I can learn from you, Leon. Sir Gwaine shoves him. Merlin and Gwen look over. Sir Leon: We'll see about that. Leon shoves Gwaine. Merlin: Enough! What's got into you? Sir Leon pushes Sir Gwaine and they start fighting. Lamia twirls her hair with a smirk as Sir Percival and Sir Elyan pull Sir Gwaine and Sir Leon apart. Sir Leon is wounded. Merlin: Great! Merlin goes to check Sir Leon's arm. Gwen: I'll get the medicine bag. Merlin leads Leon away. Merlin: Come on. Lamia smirks. LONGSTEAD - NIGHT Arthur gives orders to his knights. King Arthur: Spread out and speak to everyone. Someone must know something. Agravaine meets Arthur. King Arthur: Did you speak to the village elder? Agravaine: It seems they left yesterday morning. King Arthur: Where are they headed? Agravaine: Camelot, my Lord. King Arthur: Something must've happened. Agravaine: We can't go after them tonight. King Arthur: Then we ride at dawn. See that the men are prepared. Agravaine: Sire. LONGSTEAD, TEMPORARY WARD - NIGHT Gaius: And they've been like this for four days? John Howden: And each day they grow weaker. Gaius (nods): Merlin is right. This is no ordinary illness. There is sorcery at work here. FOREST - NIGHT Merlin tends to Leon and Gwen brings him bandages. Sir Leon: That needle’s the size of a spear. Merlin: I'm sorry, it's all I have. Gwen: There. Done. Sir Leon: Thank you. Sir Leon gets up in a huff and puts his shirt back on. Gwen sits in his place. Merlin (low): Leon and Gwaine, I've never known them to act like this. Gwen (whispers): Elyan's the same. I hardly recognize him. Merlin: I think it's something to do with her. Gwen (surprised): Lamia? Merlin: The knights are like brothers. Yet, they fight and quarrel like foes? Gwaine puts a blanket on Lamia's shoulders. Merlin: It started the moment we found her. Gwen: But look at her. She's just a girl. How could she affect them this way? Merlin: I don't know. LONGSTEAD, ARTHUR'S QUARTERS - NIGHT Gaius enters. King Arthur: Any luck with the Southron? Gaius: I've done my best, Sire. His condition is perilous, but he lives. King Arthur: Was he able to tell us anything? Gaius: He is a slve trader, as you suspected. They were travelling South with a girl. King Arthur: Did he say what happened to them? Gaius: He claims they fell under some kind of spell. Quarrels and fights broke out among them. They began to suspect the girl of bewitching them. Seems they were right. King Arthur: Why? What happened? Gaius: The girl escaped and klled them all but him. King Arthur: How's that possible? She's just one girl. Gaius: Not a girl, Sire. A lamia. King Arthur: A lamia? Gaius: A creature of magic. In their wars with the ancient kings, the High Priestesses of the Old Religion took the blood from a girl and mingled it with that of a serpent. The creatures they created had ferocious powers. They could control the mind of a man, suck the life from him with a single embrace. King Arthur: Which is why none of the traders had a mark on them. Gaius: But the lamia proved more deadly than their makers had ever imagined. FOREST, CAMP - NIGHT Sir Elyan is on watch as the others sleep. Gaius (V.O.): They could transform at will and become hideous monsters. Elyan hears a hiss and goes to investigate. LONGSTEAD - ARTHUR'S QUARTERS - NIGHT Gaius: And they kept on klling, Sire. They would not stop. King Arthur: So this girl, this creature, is still out there somewhere. Gaius (nods): I'm afraid so, Sire. FOREST CAMP - NIGHT Sir Elyan keeps on investigating. He hears a rustle and draws his sword. It's Lamia. She holds up her hands. Lamia: Forgive me (Sir Elyan lowers the sword) I didn't mean to frighten you. I couldn't sleep. Sir Elyan: Nor could I. Then again, it is my job to stay awake. Lamia (walks closer): Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. Lamia takes his face in her hands and kisses him. She hisses. Sir Elyan convulses and drops to the ground as Lamia's eyes flash green. FOREST CAMP - DAY Everyone wakes. Sir Percival: Elyan? Gwen: He was supposed to be on guard. He should've woken us long before now. Elyan! Sir Leon: Elyan! Elyan! Gwen, stay with Lamia. The rest of you, come with me. Spread out. The knights draw their swords and head off. Sir Leon: Elyan! Lamia: Don't worry. They'll find your brother soon enough. Sir Percival (distant): Elyan! Elyan! FOREST - DAY Arthur leads his horse as he tracks Gwen's party. He examines the ground. King Arthur: Six horses...running East...tracks are no more than a day old. Arthur mounts and they ride off. FOREST - DAY Sir Leon and Sir Percival carry an unconscious Sir Elyan Gwen: Oh, g… Elyan! What happened to him? Sir Leon: I don't know. We found him like this. Gwen rushes to Merlin. Gwen: Merlin! (whispers) She did this. I know she did. Merlin turns to the knights. Merlin: We need to get him back to Camelot now. Lamia stands up. Lamia: I know this area. There's a castle not far from here. We could take shelter there. You could tend to your friend. Sir Gwaine: Then lead the way. Merlin: We don't need shelter, thank you. We need Gaius. Gwen: He's right. Sir Leon: Silence! Both of you! You have no say in these matters! You come with us, or you stay here. It's up to you. Let's go. Sir Leon and Sir Percival carry off Sir Elyan. Lamia glares at Gwen and Merlin and follows. FOREST - DAY Gwen and Merlin ride in the back of the party. They speak in low tones. Gwen: We could try reasoning with them or tell them Lamia's responsible for what's happening. Merlin: They won't listen to reason. You've seen how they are. It's like they're under an enchantment. Gwen: We have to do something! Merlin: Arthur's our only hope now. We've been gone too long, he must know something's wrong. Gwen: They'll never find us now. We're in the middle of nowhere. Merlin: We need to give him some help. FOREST - DAY King Arthur: Tracks stop here. Agravaine: I fear we're wasting our time, Sire. For all we know, they could've gone back to Camelot already. King Arthur: No. Camelot lies West of here. Tracks heading...East. Arthur thinks for a moment, then turns to his knights. King Arthur: Fan out! See what you can find. FOREST - DAY Merlin waits as Gwen rips off part of her tunic and ties it to a tree. She mounts and they catch up to the others. They reach an opening in the trees that looks down on the castle Lamia mentioned. FOREST - DAY Arthur's party continues searching for tracks. Agravaine finds some and covers them up. He smirks. CASTLE - DAY Gwen's party enters the castle through a cave. Lamia: This way. Merlin grabs Sir Percival's arm. The others continue on. Merlin: This is madness, Percival. Elyan needs help. You know nothing about this girl. You have no idea where she's taking you. Sir Percival looms menacingly over Merlin. Sir Percival: You heard Sir Leon. We've no interest in your opinion. So keep your mouth shut, or I'll shut it for you. They enter the caves and Leon's torch goes out. Sir Leon: Is everyone all right? Merlin lights his torch with a spell and brings it up to light Sir Leon's. Lamia is gone. Sir Leon: Where's Lamia. Lamia! They enter a great hall to find it strewn with skeletons. Merlin: What is this place? Sir Leon: Whatever it is, it isn't safe. We need to find Lamia. She could be in danger. Merlin: We're the ones in danger, Leon. She's brought us here to… She's led us to a trap. Sir Percival: That's a lie! Merlin: She's poisoned your minds and you can't see… Sir Leon: Enough! Merlin: It was Lamia that attcked Elyan! Sir Leon (grabs Merlin): I said ENOUGH! (pushes Merlin to the ground). Gwen: Please! My brother's hurt! We need to find him somewhere warm! Sir Leon is barely able to contain his anger and rushes out. They follow. Sir Gwaine and Gwen continue carrying Sir Elyan between them. Sir Gwaine stops. Sir Gwaine: Over here. They enter a vine-covered room and set Elyan down. Sir Gwaine: I'll make us a fre. Sir Leon: Percival and I will search for Lamia. Leon gets in Merlin's face. Sir Leon: You will stay here and you will do as Gwaine says. Do I make myself clear? Sir Gwaine steps on a wooden box, breaking it, stating his authority FOREST - DAY Arthur's party rides through the woods. King Arthur: It's impossible. They can't have just disappeared. Agravaine: It could be that we're following the wrong tracks, my Lord. Any number of people pass through these woods. King Arthur: It was them. I know it was. Agravaine: Maybe we should go back to Longstead, try again in the morning. King Arthur: By morning they could all be dad. Agravaine: They're knights of Camelot, my Lord, more than capable of looking after themselves. King Arthur: Maybe so. But you're forgetting one thing, Uncle. Guinevere is with them. Agravaine: I realise that, Sire. King Arthur: We keep going. All night if necessary. CASTLE, VINE CHAMBER - DAY Merlin leans against a column while Gwen sits on the floor stroking her brother's head on her lap. Sir Gwaine: We need more wood. Merlin: I'll go and get some. Sir Gwaine laughs humourlessly. Sir Gwaine: No! You stay where you are. I'll go get it myself. You're not going anywhere. Merlin: Gwaine, please listen to me. It's not safe for you out there. Sir Gwaine: You trying to tell me my business? Merlin: No, I'm just saying that... Sir Gwaine: What? Merlin: Nothing. Sir Gwaine whips the torch in front of Merlin's face and stalks off. Merlin turns to Gwen. She's crying. Gwen (about Sir Elyan): If he doesn't get some help soon, he's not going to make it. CASTLE CORRIDORS - DAY Sir Gwaine searches the castle, a hand on his sword hilt. He hears a noise and draws his sword, but it turns out to be a rat crawling through some bones. Meanwhile, Sir Leon and Sir Percival hear a hiss. Sir Percival: That was her. I'm sure of it. Sir Leon (excited): Lamia? (looks down both ends of the corridor) It's nothing. Leon continues, but Percival hears a hiss and walks toward it. CASTLE, VINE CHAMBER - DAY Gwen: I don't understand it. Why have only the knights been enchanted? Why not us as well? Merlin: You're a woman. Gwen: So? Merlin: All the victims have been men. Gwen: So why haven't you fallen under her spell? Merlin: I've just been lucky, I suppose. Gwen: There must be a reason. Merlin: Maybe it's because I'm not a knight. Gwen: The three villagers weren't knights, either. Merlin: Who knows? Gwen (shakes her head): There's something about you, Merlin. It's the way she looks at you as if you were the enemy. They hear a distant yell. Merlin: Whatever you do, don't leave this room. He leaves CASTLE - DAY Merlin hears the lamia hiss and investigates. Merlin (whispers): Gwaine? Merlin approaches Sir Gwaine who is standing against a column. Merlin (whispers): Gwaine? Merlin touches his shoulder and Sir Gwaine falls on him, slack jawed. FOREST - DAY Arthur's party continues their search. Arthur finds one of Gwen's cloth scraps on a broken tree. King Arthur: Agravaine! Agravaine: Sire? Arthur holds Guinevere’s cloth scrap. King Arthur: It's Guinevere's. Agravaine: How can you be certain? King Arthur: It's from her tunic. I'd know it anywhere. We must be close. Arthur rides off. CASTLE - DAY Merlin runs down a hall and hears the lamia hiss. FOREST - DAY King Arthur's party reaches the view of the castle. King Arthur: Come on. CASTLE - DAY Sir Percival hears a girl weeping and investigates. He pulls back a curtain and finds Lamia curled up on the floor crying. Sir Percival: Lamia. He crouches down to her and turns her to face him. Sir Percival: You all right? I've been looking everywhere for you. Lamia: I thought you might never find me. Thank you, Percival. Thank you. Lamia kisses Sir Percival and her eyes glow green as Percival's life force is drained. He falls unconscious. Sir Leon (arrives in time to witness it): No. No. No! No! He tries to attck her but she blasts him away. Merlin arrives to find Lamia crouched over, kissing Sir Leon. Merlin: You won't find me such easy prey. Lamia: Your magic holds no fear me. I could've klled you anytime I wished. Merlin: Then…what are you waiting for? Lamia attcks, throwing Merlin backwards. She hisses. Merlin: Þurhdrif hie ecg! The spell throws a sword into Lamia's torso. She is blasted away. Merlin gets up and checks Sir Percival's pulse. Lamia hisses from the shadows. Merlin searches for her and is smacked with a tentacle. The lamia pursues him. Merlin: spell* Merlin collapses the ceiling on the lamia. Gwen hears the collapse. The rocks have not squashed the lamia. She bursts through with a shriek. Gwen hears it, grabs a sword, and goes looking for it. Merlin runs from the lamia. Gwen finds Merlin running towards her. Gwen: Merlin! Gwen goes to Merlin, but he pushes her in the opposite direction and they take off running as the lamia comes around the corner. The lamia knocks Merlin down, grabs his leg with a tentacle and drags him in. The lamia is about to strike when… Gwen: Get away from him! Gwen charges the lamia and runs her sword into it. She strikes again, but loses the sword and falls down. She and Merlin slide quickly backwards along the floor, trying to scramble away from the tentacles, but the lamia looms overhead. Merlin raises a hand ready to cast a spell, his eyes already glowing but the lamia topples forward, a spear in its back, revealing Arthur behind it. Arthur steps cautiously forward, checking for any movement. Gwen scrambles to her feet and runs to him. Gwen: Arthur! Gwen jumps into his arms. He laughs. Merlin: You carry on. Don't worry about me. King Arthur: Sorry. Arthur helps him off the ground. Laughs and pats his shoulder King Arthur (teasingly): It's almost good to see you, Merlin. Merlin: Likewise. King Arthur: Almost. Merlin scoffs in amusement. Arthur goes back to Gwen and they walk out. Merlin picks up Gwen's sword and follows. LONGSTEAD - DAY Gaius treats the Knights of the Round Table. Arthur enters. King Arthur: How are they doing? Gaius: I have given them the same compound that cured the villagers, Sire. They're fortunate that you got to them when you did. King Arthur: Thank you, Gaius. Arthur pats Gaius on the shoulder and Gaius nods. Arthur shakes hands with Sir Percival, who's awake and he exits. LONGSTEAD - DAY Arthur emerges from the temporary ward and sees Merlin. King Arthur (teasing): So…Merlin. Being saved by a woman! That really can't feel good. Merlin: Feels a lot better than being d*ad. King Arthur: Does it? Being saved by a woman…(raises one hand, palm up) …or dying… He raises the other hand, palm up, and shifts them like he's weight the scales. He drops his arms. King Arthur: I'd have to think about that one. Merlin: Well, don't think too hard. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself. Arthur drops his jaw in mock astonishment and punches Merlin in the arm. Merlin grins. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - DAY Arthur stands at the table reading some documents. Someone knocks. King Arthur: Come. Gwen enters. Gwen: You wanted to see me? Arthur turns around and leans against the table. King Arthur: Just want to make sure you're all right. You've been through a lot these past few days. Gwen: I'm fine. Nothing a change of clothes couldn't cure. King Arthur: I thought I knew everything about you, Guinevere. Your loyalty, your wisdom. Since when did you become this fearless hero? Gwen (chuckles): Well, maybe you just didn't notice before. King Arthur: Mm. Maybe I didn't. Truly…(he takes her hand) you showed great courage back there. Gwen: I did what anyone else would've done. King Arthur: You did a good deal more than that. You were equal to any knight of Camelot. I'm proud of you. Gwen (beams): Really? Gwen steps closer. Arthur smiles. King Arthur: Really. Arthur takes her in his arms and they kiss.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "04x08 - Lamia"}	foreverdreaming
Merlin 4.09 – LANCELOT DU LAC “In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name...Merlin”. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Agravaine walks down the corridor. Arthur gazes out the window and Merlin cleans Arthur's armour as Agravaine enters. King Arthur: Uncle. Agravaine: It's late, Arthur. What's troubling you? King Arthur: Nothing. Nothing at all. But I've made a decision and I felt it only right to inform you right away. Though, I feel you're not going to like what I have to say….I'm going to marry Guinevere. Merlin (drops an armour piece that clatters against the ground): Sorry. King Arthur: That is, if she says “yes”. Agravaine: Sire… King Arthur: No. I know what you're going to say. "She's a servant. I'm the King. It's not the done thing." Agravaine: I fear it's a little more serious than that. King Arthur: Guinevere has proved herself valuable support and true counsellor these past few months. Agravaine: You don't need a woman for support, Sire. I'm your counsel. King Arthur: I fear you have rather too much stubble to be my wife. Merlin snickers and tries to cover it up with a cough. King Arthur: Good counsel, solid support, they're exactly what I need. I don't want a Queen who spends her days floating around the castle agreeing with my every word. And the people don't want that either. So, I've made up my mind. I want Guinevere to be my Queen, and I want you to accept her as such. Agravaine nods. Merlin smiles. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Morgana dozes in a chair by the fre. Agravaine approaches, leans down and puts a hand on her back. Agravaine: My Lady. Morgana bolts awake and pulls a dagger on him. Morgana: You better have a good reason for scaring me like that. Agravaine: I'm afraid I do. Agravaine pulls up a chair. Agravaine: Arthur is to make Guinevere his Queen. Morgana: It's just like in my dream. I will not see that woman upon my throne! Agravaine: I don't see how we can stop her. Morgana gets an idea. Morgana: There is one that can ruin King Arthur's plans. One that can come between them. We all have our secrets and, unfortunately for Guinevere, I know hers (she smiles) I know exactly how to destroy her. ------------------- OPENING TITLES ------------------- FOREST CAVE - DAY Morgana enters the cave. A figure rises up behind her. Morgana turns to the eyeless Dochraid. Morgana: I come in peace. Morgana steps forward and the Dochraid grabs her hand and sniffs it. Morgana is startled and confused, but doesn't move. The Dochraid: Morgana Pendragon. You are destined to bring back the old ways (the Dochraid releases her hand) I hope to live to see that day. Morgana: You are one of the few people who remember the time of the Old Religion. I need your help (places a coin in the Dochraid's hand). It was a gift from my sister. The Dochraid inspects the coin. The Dochraid: Most interesting present. Morgana: Price of a soul. The Dochraid: But you do not know how to release it. The Dochraid holds the coin to herself. The Dochraid: I should like to keep it. Morgana holds out her hand to get it back and gently forces the Dochraid to give back the coin. The Dochraid: The gift is indeed a powerful one, but there's only one way to wield that power. You must travel to the last of the five gateways that separate our world from the world of the dad. POOL OF NEMHAIN - DAY Morgana walks to the edge of a lake and continues walking straight into the water. The Dochraid (V.O): Find the pool of Nemhain, whose waters are as black as night and as still as death itself. Cast the coin into its depths and your wish will be granted. Morgana fingers the coin and tosses it into the lake. It sinks into the lake and she waits. The water bubbles where the coin landed and a dark head and pair of muscular shoulders rise up out of the water. The man walks toward Morgana. It's Lancelot. Lancelot du Lac: My name is Lancelot, my Lady (he bows) I am yours to command. Morgana smirks. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Morgana regards Lancelot du Lac, now fully clothed, as he sits on her bed, eyes closed. He wakes. Morgana: You must be tired. You've been on a journey few have ever dreamed of. Lancelot du Lac: I know not where I have been, my Lady, only that I am yours. Lancelot motions to retrieve a sword from a nearby table. Morgana: Slow down. You won't be needing that. Not yet. We have work to do, but it's not your sword I require so much as your heart. KING'S PALACE, BEDROOM - NIGHT Gwen makes a bed. Arthur watches her from the doorway. Morgana (V.O): There is a woman, a serving girl, a lowly peasant called Guinevere. Or Gwen, as she's known to her friends. Arthur walks up slowly behind Gwen and places his hands over her eyes. She tenses. Morgana (V.O): There are many that have tried to win the hand of King Arthur. Arthur whispers in Gwen's ear. She smiles and keeps her eyes closed as Arthur pulls his hands away. Morgana (V.O): But it was Gwen who won his heart. Arthur takes a cloth from around his neck and places the blindfold over Gwen's eyes. She smiles with anticipation. Morgana (V.O): She is honest and straightforward, and a simple soul. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Morgana: Arthur trusts her entirely. As he does you. For you are Lancelot, the noble, the brave, the honourable. You're everything the Knight's Code stands for. GWEN'S HOUSE - NIGHT Arthur leads Gwen into her own house blindfolded. Morgana (V.O): Before she was Arthur's, she was yours, Lancelot. You were her first love. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Morgana: And you will be her last. GWEN'S HOUSE - NIGHT Arthur removes Gwen's blindfold (her engagement ring on his little finger) and she sees her home covered with candles. He takes her hand and leads her to a chair. She sits down and he kneels down in front of her. Merlin peeks in through the window. King Arthur: Guinevere, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife? They stare at each other for some seconds. Gwen suddenly hugs him tightly, overwhelmed. King Arthur: Is that a “yes”? Guinevere (breaks the hug and smiles widely): Oh, sorry! Yes. Yes. Yes. Arthur laughs pleased and puts a ring on her hand. Merlin smiles outside and leaves. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Lancelot sits on Morgana's bed, sleeping. Agravaine: How is it with our old adversary? Morgana: He's learning fast. Soon he will know enough to convince everyone he's the Lancelot we all knew. I thought it would please me, molding his mind. Instead, I feel curiously sad. He was once so mighty, and now he's nothing but a shade. I should be sorry to see him go. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS - DAY Arthur rides a practice joust. He catches the decorated ring and the crowd cheers. Guinevere sits in the royal box with Agravaine. Arthur rides to the box and Guinevere steps down to take the ring off of his lance with a smile. He smiles back. Back at the tents, Arthur rides off the field. Merlin: I've got to hand it to you. If nothing else, it's certainly an original engagement present. Arthur tosses Merlin his helmet and dismounts. Merlin: Well, as romantic gestures go, you could've given her flowers. You could have had a song written. Instead, you've given her two days of sweaty men knocking the sense out of each other. King Arthur: Exactly as it should be. My father had a tourney before his wedding. It's tradition. Merlin: Ah, so it's not even an original gesture, then. King Arthur: I think my future wife understands. Arthur raises his glass to indicate Guinevere in the stands, smiling as she takes the decorated ring from Sir Percival's lance. Guinevere: Thank you very much. Percival rides off smiling. Guinevere sits back down happily. Trumpets announce another rider. King Arthur: Who on earth's that? Merlin: No idea. The rider runs the practice joust and catches the ring. The crowd cheers and Guinevere politely applauds the stranger. She steps down and takes the decorated ring with a furrowed brow. The knight pulls off his helmet to reveal Lancelot du Lac. Guinevere looks disturbed. Lancelot du Lac pulls back and nods to Arthur and Merlin who stare at him, equally stunned. KING'S PALACE, DINING HALL - NIGHT The Round Table members are having dinner. Arthur at the head of the table, Guinevere on his right, Lancelot du Lac at the other end. Lancelot du Lac: I fear I remember very little after the moment I stepped through the veil. My story will not be as illuminating as I would like. King Arthur: We're just pleased to see you. Well...please and amazed. Lancelot du Lac: I owe everything to the Madhavi people. When they found me, I was near death. Luckily for me, their customs dictate that they must give food and shelter to the needy (sigh) And I was certainly that. Merlin watches Lancelot warily. Sir Leon: Where did they find you? Lancelot du Lac: On one of the silk road passes, high in the Feorre mountains. Sir Elyan: Cenred's kingdom. Lancelot du Lac: I travelled with them for many weeks, deep into the deserts of the south. Then, slowly my strength returned. When I was able, I earned my passage the only way I know how. By the sword. Lancelot du Lac smirks and the knights chuckle. Lancelot du Lac: Then I slowly made my way north. King Arthur: You made your way home. Lancelot du Lac nods. Arthur takes Guinevere's hand on the table. Agravaine isn't pleased. King Arthur: We can't thank you enough for what you sacrificed on the Isle of the Blessed. It will be remembered always. Lancelot du Lac (sigh): It is, indeed, good to see you once again. I would like to propose a toast (he stands) To the people I hold most dear. To Camelot. They all raise their glasses. All: To Camelot. King Arthur: To Camelot. Lancelot smiles and drinks. Merlin is still unsettled. KING'S PALACE, MERLIN'S BED CHAMBER - NIGHT Merlin: You can have my bed. Lancelot du Lac: No. No. Merlin: Really, after all you've been through...it's the least I can do. Lancelot du Lac: Thank you, Merlin. It's good to see you, too. Merlin: I've spent so long thinking about...what happened. Could I have saved you? And if there was anything I could have done. If I could have used magic... Lancelot du Lac (smiles): If any of us had any magic, Merlin... Lancelot du Lac walks past him to the bed. Now Merlin is certain that something's wrong. Lancelot du Lac: …life would be a lot easier. Merlin walks to the door. Merlin: Good night. Merlin closes the door as he enters the physician's chambers. Gaius sees his worried expression. Gaius: Oh, no. I've seen that face before. Merlin: I want to believe that everything is fine and that we really have Lancelot back. Gaius: It certainly looks like him. Merlin: Yeah. Gaius: What is it? Merlin: I don't know. Something's wrong. Merlin sits next to Gaius and lowers his voice. Merlin: When he was telling his story, I sensed it. The way he greeted me, that made me suspicious. But what happened just now, that's made me sure. He forgot I had magic. Lancelot would never do that. Gaius: Strange, indeed. Give him time. FOREST - NIGHT Agravaine rides through the woods and dismounts. He walks slowly, searching for someone. Morgana appears behind him. Morgana: I'm keen to hear your news. Agravaine: I'm sure you'd be very proud, my Lady. Arthur and his knights were completely taken in. Morgana: And Gwen? This must be the last thing she hoped for on the eve of her wedding. Agravaine: If she was flustered, she certainly didn't show it. I fear she truly does love Arthur. Any feelings she had for Lancelot are in the past. Morgana: I had considered that eventuality. Agravaine is confused. Morgana pulls out a bracelet. Morgana (casts a spell on the bracelet): Beclyppe þinne idese þæt heo hine lyste! Her eyes glow and the bracelet shines for a while. Morgana: I think it's time to reawaken those feelings. They smirk as Agravaine takes the bracelet. GWEN'S HOUSE - DAY Guinevere brushes her hair and checks it in a small mirror. Someone knocks on the door. She opens it to find Lancelot du Lac leaning against the door frame with a charming smile. She's surprised. Lancelot du Lac: I wasn't sure I'd find you here. I thought you might have rooms in the palace. Guinevere: I want to stay here as long as I can. It may not be much, but it's my home. Lancelot du Lac: May I come in? Guinevere hesitates. Lancelot du Lac: I only want to wish you well. Guinevere smiles and opens the door for him. Guinevere: I never thought I'd see you again. Lancelot du Lac: I know. Guinevere: When I heard what you'd done, I felt so guilty. Lancelot du Lac: No. Guinevere: You were protecting Arthur, just as I'd asked. Lancelot du Lac nods. Guinevere: If it weren't for you, there'd be no wedding. There are no words to thank you enough. Lancelot du Lac: There is no need for that. I did what I felt was right in my heart. You taught me that, Gwen. Lancelot du Lac steps closer. Lancelot du Lac: To be true to myself. You will make a wonderful Queen. Your love for your people is surpassed only by your love for Arthur. Lancelot du Lac pulls out a cloth and unwraps the bracelet. Lancelot du Lac: The Madhavi people gave me this token of good fortune for my journey. I'd like you to wear it, for I see their goodness in you. He takes her hand and puts the bracelet on her wrist. Lancelot du Lac: It is a rare thing. And I was lucky to have been touched by it. He holds her face in his hands and gets closer to her. Gwen looks uncomfortable and then relieved when he kisses her forehead. Lancelot du Lac: I wish you and Arthur everlasting happiness, Gwen. He looks back at her with a smile as he leaves. She smiles back, but it fades as she looks uncertainly down at the bracelet. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Merlin studies a book about necromancy behind a screen. The pages show a dressed skeleton standing on a kind of spiral. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS - DAY The jousting tournament continues. Arthur and Lancelot du Lac win their jousts. Guinevere is much more pleased by Arthur's success. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin and Gaius eat supper. Merlin: Mm. Chicken is good. Nice broth. What do you know about necromancy? Gaius stops still just as he's about to eat. Gaius: What? Merlin: Well, you know lots...about lots of things, don't you? Gaius: Necromancy is the most dangerous of all magical practices. Even in the days of the Old Religion, such sorcery was viewed with the utmost suspicion. I know I'm going to regret asking this, Merlin, but why do you want to know? Merlin looks at his bedroom door, where Lancelot du Lac is resting. Merlin: I think that someone has raised Lancelot from the dad. Gaius: By "someone", I presume you mean "Morgana". Merlin nods. Gaius: The old legends do speak of such creatures. They call them "shades". Poor, tormented souls summoned from their rest by the necromancer's art. Merlin: So, it is possible? Gaius: Even if it is possible, we have no way of knowing for sure. Merlin pulls out a book entitled "The Art of Necromancy" Gaius: Or do we? KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin paints the floor with the spiral drawing from the book. He finishes and spreads his hands over the paint. Merlin (casts a spell): Onluc þa soþan treow! The paint glows red for a moment, then fades. Merlin hears something and peeks through a crack in his bedroom door. Lancelot du Lac is finishing getting dressed. Merlin dashes to Gaius's bed and wakes him with a shake. Merlin (whisper): It's time. Merlin and Gaius peer through the gaps in the closet door. Lancelot du Lac emerges from Merlin's bed chamber and walks over the circle. The circle glows red and a skeleton washes over Lancelot du Lac's features. They hear the door close and step out of the closet. Merlin: I didn't want it to be true. Gaius: I know. We all wanted him back. Merlin: More than anything. Gaius: This man's a shadow of his former self. A shadow with ill intent. Merlin: Do you think he means to harm Arthur? Gaius: Whatever his reason for being here, it can't be good. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS, TENT - DAY Guinevere sneaks among the tents, the crowd cheering in the distance. She pulls open a tent flap, the bracelet on her wrist, and enters Lancelot du Lac's tent. He's getting ready for the jousting. Guinevere: Here...let me. She helps him with his jacket. Lancelot du Lac: Thank you. Lancelot du Lac smiles darkly as Guinevere lets her hand linger on his arm for a bit after helping him with his shirt. Guinevere: I just wanted to wish you well. Lancelot du Lac: Shouldn't you be saying that to your future husband? Guinevere: I do. I have (looks confused)…I will. Guinevere remembers herself. Guinevere: I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm here. She motions to leave and pauses to watch him before stepping out. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS - DAY Lancelot wins another joust. Guinevere looks more pleased than before. Arthur faces Sir Leon. Arthur wins as Sir Leon falls backwards off his horse and summersaults. The crowd cringes, then cheers for Arthur. Guinevere smiles down on him as she applauds. Leon rises to his knees and a servant helps him up. Sir Percival walks past Merlin, noticing Merlin's dour expression. Sir Percival: Don't look so worried, Merlin. Arthur won. Merlin: Yeah. Now he's in the final with Lancelot. Sir Percival: Yeah, I know. People are gonna love that. Lancelot du Lac and Arthur acknowledge the crowd. Agravaine watches Guinevere, who looks uncertain about the match. Merlin and Gaius are watching. Gaius: You must be ready, Merlin. Your magic might be needed. The flag goes up and they joust. Both riders ht their opponent, but Arthur is seriously injured. Guinevere stands up, concerned, as Arthur drops his lance and leans forward in pain. He takes his next lance from a servant anyway. Gaius: Arthur should withdraw. He's in no fit state to continue. Merlin: He wouldn't withdraw if his head was hanging by a thread. Arthur can barely hold the lance, but he starts to joust anyway. Lancelot du Lac is unharmed. Guinevere frowns as the joust continues. Arthur is unable to lift his lance into attck position. As they come within range, Lancelot du Lac yields his lance letting a wounded Arthur win. The crowd cheers. Agravaine and Guinevere are surprised. Merlin: What's going on? Why did he yield? Arthur drops his lance and stumbles off his horse holding his side. Lancelot dismounts and they walk to the centre of the field. Merlin: Well, I suppose I should be pleased Arthur's alive. Lancelot du Lac and Arthur meet in front of the royal box. Lancelot du Lac kneels. Lancelot du Lac: My liege. King Arthur: Arise, Sir Lancelot. It's not necessary. I always thought you the noblest of my knights. You just proved me right. Thank you for your courtesy. Lancelot bows. King Arthur: Won't be forgotten. Arthur and Lancelot face the box and the crowd cheers. Guinevere smiles at Arthur and he bows his head. Lancelot du Lac and Arthur regard each other. Lancelot du Lac (nods): Your Highness. Arthur nods back and leaves the field. Gaius: If he's not here to kll Arthur, what's he here for? Merlin: I don't know. Merlin sees Guinevere sneak into Lancelot du Lac's tent. Merlin: I wish I did. TOURNAMENT GROUNDS, TENT - DAY Guinevere circles Lancelot du Lac, running her hand over his shoulders, the bracelet on her wrist. She entwines her fingers with his and rubs their hands against her chin. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Lancelot du Lac walks through the palace with a sword in his hand. He slides it into his belt. Merlin follows him to the balcony corridor where he meets with Agravaine. Lancelot du Lac: Everything is prepared. Gwen is on her way to our assignation as we speak. Agravaine: You've done well. Lady Morgana will be very pleased with you. Agravaine leaves and Lancelot du Lac returns the way he came. Merlin hurries into hiding. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Ladies walk down a corridor. Guinevere waits for them to pass and sneaks through the castle. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Lancelot du Lac walks toward the council chambers. Merlin throws him with magic and Lancelot du Lac goes unconscious. Merlin approaches him and Lancelot wakes, unaffected by the blow. He trips Merlin, draws his sword and knocks Merlin out with the pommel. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Arthur is sleeping. Agravaine approaches the bed. Agravaine: Arthur. Arthur stirs a little. Agravaine: Arthur. Arthur turns over and opens his eyes, confused. Agravaine: Sorry. There's something you must see. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - NIGHT Lancelot du Lac waits for Guinevere behind a column. She goes to him and hugs him. Guinevere: Are you sure this is safe? Lancelot du Lac: No one visits the council chambers at this hour of the night. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Arthur and Agravaine walk towards the council chambers. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Merlin wakes, holds his head from the blow, then rushes to the council chamber. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - NIGHT Guinevere feels Lancelot du Lac's chest, smiles, and pulls him into a kiss. Lancelot du Lac watches the entrance while they kiss. Arthur appears and Lancelot du Lac closes his eyes. Arthur, shocked, watches for a moment. Merlin arrives too late, he looks at Arthur's line of vision and sees Guinevere and Lancelot du Lac snogging. Arthur's anger rises and he draws his sword and charges them. Lancelot du Lac steps away from Guinevere and draws his sword. Arthur attcks furiously and elbows Lancelot du Lac in the face, making him drop his sword. Arthur attcks him anyway, but hits the column. Lancelot du Lac shoves Arthur against another column, making Arthur drop his sword. Guinevere freaks. Guinevere: Please! Arthur shoves Lancelot du Lac, who slides in reach of his sword and grabs it. He rises to attck Arthur, but Merlin intervenes. Merlin (casts a spell): Ecg misse! The sword drops out of Lancelot du Lac's hand. Arthur grabs his sword and yells as he charges the defenceless Lancelot shade. Guinevere steps in his path. Guinevere: No! Please! Please! Please. Stop. Please, please. This has to stop! Please. Please. Stop. This has to stop. Arthur looks at her, the betrayal written plainly on his face. KING'S PALACE, DUNGEONS - NIGHT Lancelot du Lac is shoved into a cell. KING'S PALACE, DUNGEONS - NIGHT Guinevere is shoved into another cell. She covers her face with her hands in broken-hearted frustration. She sees Lancelot du Lac's bracelet on her wrist and she rips it off and throws it into a corner of the cell. In tears, Guinevere collapses to the ground. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Agravaine talks to Arthur's back as he stares into his room, eyes bloodshot. Agravaine: Far be it from me to advise you on personal matters, Sire, but this is also a matter of state. You've been made a fool of, and you must respond robustly. Of course, in the days of your father, adultery in noble families was punishable by death. Merlin stands in the room, arms folded, glaring at Agravaine. Agravaine: But as for Lancelot, death's too good for him. He must die, but...painfully. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - NIGHT The court waits in silence. Guinevere stands between two guards, surrounded by the entire council, including the Knights of the Round Table. Agravaine stands by the throne. He nods and the two guards force Guinevere to her knees as Arthur enters. Arthur walks resolutely to the throne. He stands behind it, his back to the council. Guinevere is pale, her face streaked with tears. Arthur speaks softly. King Arthur: You will leave, please. Agravaine nods to the two guards and they depart. King Arthur: All of you. No one moves. King Arthur: Now! The knights and councilmen leave. Guinevere looks at her brother. He glares at her disappointedly as he leaves. Agravaine remains. King Arthur: You, too, Uncle. Agravaine: Sire… King Arthur: Now! Agravaine bows and exits. Arthur glares at the wall as he waits for the doors to close. Guinevere sighs with grief. Arthur turns around and glares at her as he walks slowly past her. She can't bring herself to look at him. King Arthur: What are you still doing on your knees? Am I just your king? Get up for goodness sake. Gwen gets up in tears. He stares at her for some seconds and he circles her. King Arthur: I was to be your husband. Arthur completes his circle and faces her, finally looking her in the eye. She holds his gaze, distressed. King Arthur: What happened, Guinevere? She tries to say something, but has no answer and shakes her head. King Arthur: We were happy. I know we were happy. Guinevere nods painfully. King Arthur: You felt it too? She nods with her eyes closed. She shakes her head, still unable to speak, and nods. King Arthur: You love him? You've always loved him? Guinevere (shakes her head): No! King Arthur: All those times you said you wanted to be with me? Guinevere: I meant every word. King Arthur: Tomorrow was our wedding day. Guinevere nods painfully, closing her eyes, suffering through a new bout of tears. Guinevere: I know. King Arthur: If you had worries... She shakes her head. Guinevere: I wasn't worried. King Arthur: If you had doubts... Guinevere: I didn't have any doubts. King Arthur (steps closer to her): Then forgive me! Because I must be really stupid! (he grabs her by her shoulders and shakes her) WHAT WERE YOU DOING!? (he releases her and steps back) Sorry. Guinevere rubs her arm. Guinevere: No. No. No. It is I who should be sorry. Arthur struggles to control his anger. Guinevere: You mean everything to me, Arthur...Once there was Lancelot, a long time ago. But I haven't considered him in that way for many years. I thought he was dad. I thought I would never see him again, and...and then...when I did, I was...overwhelmed. I was drawn to him. I couldn't stop myself, I don't know why. Guinevere presses her hands to her face. She’s crying desperately. Guinevere: I love you. You mean everything to me. Guinevere holds her hands to her stomach, barely able to get the last words out through her sobs. Guinevere: All these years, I've waited for you. King Arthur: You only had to wait one more day. Arthur's voice cracks with emotion. Guinevere: All I've ever wanted is to be your Queen. I still want to be your Queen. King Arthur: Do you know what they're saying? Arthur points to the doors that the councilmen left through. Guinevere shakes her head. King Arthur: That in my father's day, you'd be put to death. They stare at each other for some seconds. Guinevere watches him for his decision. King Arthur: I don't want to see you dad, Guinevere. She waits. King Arthur: But I don't want to see you. Guinevere is distraught by his answer. King Arthur: I cannot look on you every day. You will leave Camelot at first light… Guinevere: Arthur… King Arthur: You return upon pain of death. Guinevere (sniffles): No! Arthur walks past Guinevere and she panics. Guinevere: No! No! No! I cannot be without you! King Arthur: That is my decision. Guinevere stops and he continues to the door. Guinevere: Where will I go? Arthur stops at the door and turns to look at her. King Arthur: I am sorry. I am truly sorry. Arthur opens the door and leaves Guinevere alone in the council room. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin: This is what Morgana wanted...all along. Gaius: She couldn't suffer the ignominy of seeing Gwen on her throne. It is, indeed, a cruel revenge. Merlin But it is Morgana who created it. I must make Arthur see that. If he knew that Lancelot was a shade... Gaius: It wouldn't change what Gwen has done. It's the betrayal that matters to the King, Merlin. Telling him of Lancelot's true nature won't change that. It's Gwen who must pay the price. KING'S PALACE, DUNGEONS - DAY Agravaine enters Lancelot du Lac's cell where he is chained to the wall. Agravaine pulls out a letter with a black ribbon and seal. Agravaine: This is from our Lady Morgana. She has one last wish for you. Lancelot du Lac: Whatever my Lady desires. I'm hers to command. Lancelot du Lac opens the letter and reads it. LOWER TOWN - DAWN Gwen exits her house for the last time, dressed for travel. Merlin looks up from where he's waiting. Gwen takes the yoke and begins to pull the cart. Merlin stands and Gwen sees him. She pauses for a moment and then continues pulling the cart awkwardly down the street. Merlin watches her go. KING'S PALACE, THRONE ROOM - DAY Arthur stands despondently, staring into space, as servants take down the wedding decorations. Merlin enters behind him. Merlin: It's not too late, Sire. I know what Gwen did was desperately wrong, but she is a good person. I truly believe that. King Arthur: As do I, Merlin... As do I. Merlin: Can you find it in your heart to forgive her? King Arthur: That's not the problem. Merlin (angry): Agravaine? Well, it is Agravaine, isn't it? He's wrong. People won't find you weak or a fool. They will find you merciful, understanding. King Arthur: You're brave to speak out, Merlin. Gwen's your friend, I understand. I'm afraid you're wrong. I love Gwen with all my heart. Arthur finally looks at Merlin. King Arthur: And I'm sure in time, I'll find a way to forgive her…But I'll never trust her. I can't live like that. Not as a King, certainly not as a husband. And though it pains me...it's best that she's gone. Agravaine arrives with two guards. Agravaine: Sire. KING'S PALACE, PYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Agravaine, Merlin, Gaius, and Arthur stand over Lancelot du Lac's dad body. Agravaine: The guards found him. King Arthur: What happened? Gaius: It appears he took his own life. King Arthur: I guess we shouldn't be surprised. Agravaine twitches a smile. Merlin glares at him. King Arthur: In all ways but one, Lancelot was a man of honour. See to it that he receives a proper burial. Arthur and Agravaine leave and Gaius covers Lancelot du Lac's face with a sheet. LAKE - DAY Lancelot lies on a boat made of twigs and covered in flowers. Merlin stands over him and places a hand on his forehead. Merlin (casts a spell): Grið fæstne mid þisse tintregian sawle! Merlin's eyes glow and Lancelot is freed from Morgana’s grasp. Lancelot breathes sharply in as he regains a brief consciousness. He looks at Merlin. Lancelot (whispers): Merlin. Thank you. Lancelot smiles and closes his eyes, breathing his last breath. Merlin smiles between tears, knowing Lancelot is now at peace. Merlin pushes the boat towards the centre of the lake and sets its aflame. He continues to cry as he watches it burn.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "04x09 - Lancelot Du Lac"}	foreverdreaming
Merlin 4.10 – A Herald of the New Age “In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name...Merlin”. FOREST - DAY King Arthur, the knights and Merlin rest in the forest, Elyan wants to drink from his flask. Sir Elyan: All right, who drank all my water? Gwaine burps. King Arthur: I believe you have your answer. Sir Gwaine: You said I could have some. Sir Elyan: I said you could have some. I didn't say you could drink every last drop. Elyan throws the flask at Gwaine. Sir Gwaine: I was thirsty. Sir Leon: Here. Have some of mine. Leon throws his arm forward, but loops it back and tosses it to Percival behind him. They laugh. Sir Elyan: That's very funny. Sir Percival: Here. Unlike these ignorant fools, I share with my friends. Percival steps forward with his flask but tosses it to Merlin. Arthur smiles as the others laugh. His smile fades when he sees a clothes line in the trees. King Arthur: Shh! Merlin: What is it? King Arthur: I saw something in the trees. There. They approach and find a place strung with strips of cloth. Sir Percival: What is this place? Arthur seems slightly disturbed as he looks at a red flag picking up in the breeze. Merlin (nervously): This is a shrine. In the time of the Old Religion, they built shrines like this to appease restless spirits. We shouldn't be here. They keep still, the cloth waving eerily in the wind. Gwaine grabs Merlin's shoulder to scare him. The other knights smile. Merlin: It isn't funny! Gaius told me about places like this and they're cursed. Another breeze stirs up out of nowhere. A raven bursts out over head and they jump. Leon smiles. Sir Leon: There's your spirit, Merlin. Arthur seems more disturbed. King Arthur: There's nothing here for us. Move out. Sir Elyan lingers as they leave. He hears drops of water and investigates to find a well. He smiles and drinks. He looks down into the well and sees a boy. He looks behind him, but there's no one there. Voices whisper in the wind. Creeped out, Sir Elyan picks up his sword and leaves. ------------------- OPENING TITLES ------------------- KING'S PALACE, ARMOURY - DAY Arthur is lost in his thoughts. Merlin: You all right? King Arthur: What do you mean? Merlin: You're very quiet. You didn't say a word on the way home. King Arthur: It's called "thinking", Merlin. You should try it sometime. Sir Gwaine: Merlin? Gwaine tosses Merlin a bag. Merlin: What's that? Sir Gwaine: Salt. Pour it in a circle at the foot of your bed. Helps to protect you from evil spirits. Merlin: Really? Does that work? Sir Gwaine: Absolutely. And if it doesn't, Gaius can always put it on his supper. Merlin: Very funny. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Gaius and Merlin are having dinner. Gaius: I am surprised that such a shrine exists so close to Camelot. Merlin: And it was cursed. I could feel it. Gaius: You were right to be wary. The druids built shrines to bring rest to tormented souls. Souls that were so badly wronged they could find no peace in the other world. Merlin: Why do they hang all the ribbons and flags? Gaius: The ancient rituals heal the ground so the souls of the victims can find rest, but the magic that binds the earth is delicate and is easily undone. So the ribbons and flags act as a warning. Merlin: Should've known that earlier. Gaius: Did anyone touch anything? Merlin: Uh, no, I don't think so. Why? What is it? Gaius: Anyone who disturbs a resting place risks releasing the spirit. Merlin, you must promise me you'll never return to that place. Merlin: Oh, don't worry. I've no intention of going back there. And for once I'm not lying to you. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Arthur stares into space, holding a spoon on his plate absentmindedly. KING'S PALACE, ELYAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Elyan gets into bed and blows out the candle. He closes his eyes and hears drops of water. He opens his eyes. Sir Elyan: Hello? (sits up in bed) Who's there? He gets out of bed and investigates. Sir Elyan: Show yourself! No one seems to be there. Elyan goes back to his bed and sits. He shakes his head and lays back down and sees the well boy on the other side of his bed. Elyan scrambles out of bed, taking his sheets with him as he whimpers in fear. Sir Elyan: No! KING'S PALACE, ELYAN'S CORRIDOR - NIGHT Gwaine hears Elyan's yelp as he walks down the corridor. Sir Elyan: No! KING'S PALACE, ELYAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Gwaine enters to find Elyan curled up on the floor, shaking in fear. Gwaine approaches and Elyan calms himself. Sir Gwaine: What are you doing? Gwaine moves and Elyan sees the well boy behind him. The boy puts a finger to his lips. Sir Elyan: Nothing. Gwaine looks at Elyan with confused concern. Sir Elyan: I…I was getting a drink of water...tripped over the table. Gwaine chuckles and gives Elyan a hand up. Sir Gwaine: I missed you at the tavern earlier. Percival broke Sir Brennis's wrist in an arm wrestle. Sir Elyan: Sounds like fun. Sir Gwaine: Not for Sir Brennis. Get some rest. Arthur's planned a training session in the morning. You know how the King likes his training. Elyan nods with a smile. Sir Gwaine: Good night. Gwaine leaves. Elyan searches frantically through his cupboards and finds what he was looking for: a small bag. He ducks under his bed and pours a circle of salt at the foot of it. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - DAY Arthur has fallen asleep on his table, his head resting on a plate. Merlin comes in and smashes some pots, waking him up. Arthur has food all over his face and hair. Merlin: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. King Arthur: You didn't scare me, I was asleep. Merlin tries to hold in his laughter at the stew all over Arthur's face. King Arthur: Why have you got that stupid smile on your face? Merlin: It's nothing. Why were you sleeping with your head on the table? King Arthur: I fell asleep while I was reading. Merlin glances at the table, no parchment or book in sight. Merlin: What were you reading? Arthur looks around and realizes that there's nothing he could have been reading. King Arthur: I am the king of Camelot, I do not have to answer to the likes of you. Merlin: Oh, you're in a good mood. You obviously got out of the wrong side of the table (laughing at his own joke) The wrong side of the bed, but you slept on the table. King Arthur (sarcastic): That's extremely clever and funny, Merlin. There really are no limits to your wit. Now, will you please just get me some breakfast? Merlin: Right. Merlin leaves. Arthur looks down at the plate of stew and moves it off of the platter. He sees his reflection in the platter and lifts it for a better look. King Arthur: MERLIN!!! TRAINING GROUNDS - DAY King Arthur: Pair off! Concentrate on counter-cutting. Gwaine, you're with me. Sir Gwaine: What's that in your hair? Merlin: It's stew. Sir Leon: Why have you got stew in your hair? Merlin (as if it should be obvious): Because he was reading. The knights give Arthur a confused look. King Arthur: Change of plan. I think we'll try something different. Merlin stands in the training grounds wearing a helmet and a shield. He grimaces and holds the shield in front of his face as Arthur approaches and beats Merlin's shield with a sword. He finally hits hard enough to knock Merlin to the ground. Merlin stands up, holding his arm. He prepares as Elyan steps up next and he invites him to strike. Elyan starts softly, not really wanting to attck his friend. He starts to get into it. A flash of anger crosses his face and his next strike knocks Merlin to the ground. Elyan continues beating Merlin's shield. King Arthur: Elyan! Elyan, in a fury now, doesn't stop and Arthur and the knights become concerned. Elyan raises to strike again and Arthur grabs his arm, stopping him. King Arthur: Elyan! I think he's had enough. Elyan relaxes. Merlin takes off his helmet. King Arthur (sarcastic): You all right down there, Merlin? Merlin mumbles a “no”. King Arthur: Good. KING'S PALACE, ARMOURY - DAY Sir Percival: Well, Merlin will feel that in his arms tomorrow. Sir Gwaine: All this training, when will we see some real action? Leon and Percival chat. Elyan sees the sopping wet well boy in the corner between them.The well boy steps forward. Sir Elyan: No. Oh, no. Sir Leon: You all right? The well boy steps around Leon towards Elyan who backs away. Sir Elyan: Leave me alone! Elyan backs up into Gwaine. Gwaine shoves him off. Sir Gwaine: Watch yourself. Elyan shoves back and they struggle, Elyan still staring at the well boy, until Gwaine punches Elyan out cold. Sir Leon: Elyan! Leon goes to Elyan. Percival looks down at Elyan, and then back at Gwaine who shrugs. Sir Leon: Elyan. Elyan! Leon shakes Elyan, but he doesn't wake up. KING'S PALACE, ELYAN'S CHAMBER - DAY Gwaine and Leon look on as Gaius examines Elyan, lying on his bed with eyes wide and staring. Sir Leon: Why doesn't he speak? Gaius: I don't know. It's strange. Sir Gwaine: It's like he's lost his mind. Gaius: When I want your medical opinion, Gwaine, I'll ask for it. Leon looks at Gwaine and shakes his head. Gaius: Perhaps you'd leave me alone to treat my patient. They start to head out. Sir Gwaine: It would be better if Arthur didn't know of this. Gaius: Why do you want to keep it from Arthur? Sir Gwaine: Elyan hasn't been himself recently. He hasn't said anything, but he's clearly upset about his sister's banishment. Gaius: Yes, it must've been hard for him to see that happen to Gwen. Sir Leon: We wouldn't want Arthur to think that Elyan's loyalties are divided. Gaius: Well, I'm sure the King doesn't have to know about every accident that happens in Camelot. Sir Gwaine: Thank you, Gaius. Sir Leon: Thank you. Leon and Gwaine exit. Gaius: Elyan, can you hear me? Blink if you can hear me. Elyan doesn't move. Gaius picks up his medicine bag, the top drops to the floor and Gaius spots something as he bends to pick it up. It's the circle of salt. Gaius touches it, smells it and tastes it. Elyan continues his blank stare. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Arthur sits and stares out the window. Merlin: Would you like me to make up the bed, Sire, or will you be sleeping on the table again? (Arthur keeps quiet, lost in thought) Is this about Gwen? (Arthur looks down sadly) We all miss her. You more than anyone. King Arthur: You can go now. Merlin: Arthur… King Arthur: Get out! Merlin leaves and Arthur is left to his gloomy thoughts. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin enters. He is angry. Merlin: I'm done trying to be nice to Arthur. I cook, I clean, I'm always there for him. Not to mention saving his life more times than I care to remember. Do I get any thanks? No. All he ever does is shout at me. Gaius doesn't respond, focused on his reading. Merlin: So now you're ignoring me. Great! I might as well not even exist. My name’s Merlin. Don't worry, I’m not even here. Gaius (closes his book): I fear we may have more important things to worry about than Arthur shouting at you. Merlin: What is it? Gaius: Did Elyan disturb anything yesterday at the shrine? Merlin: I'm not sure. Gaius: I need you to be sure, Merlin. Merlin: I don't know. He may have done. I tried to warn them. You know what they're like. They don't listen. Gaius: I'm sorry, Merlin. It's just that I'm deeply concerned for Elyan. He hasn't spoken a word since he regained consciousness and I can find no physical symptoms to explain it. The only thing I could find was a pile of salt at the foot of his bed. Merlin: Oh, no. Gaius: What is it, Merlin? Merlin: He's trying to ward off an evil spirit. Gaius: With a pile of salt? That's utter nonsense. Merlin: Elyan believes it to be true. Gaius (sigh): Then I fear that Elyan may have disturbed the spirit at the shrine. Merlin: What? What will that do to him? Gaius: I dread to think what horror it might unleash. You must tell Arthur what happened at the shrine. You must tell him that Elyan is possessed. Merlin: Well, I'm not sure he'll believe me, not in the mood he's in. Gaius: You must make him believe you. KING'S PALACE, ELYAN'S CHAMBER - NIGHT Elyan wakes from the sound of dripping water. Elyan bolts up in bed when he sees the sopping wet druid boy. Sir Elyan: Leave me alone! Druid boy: Please. Don't be angry with me. Elyan processes the boy's words. Sir Elyan: I'm sorry. Elyan gets out of bed and approaches the boy. He tries to touch him but the boy backs away. Sir Elyan: It's all right. Don't be scared (touches the boy) You're so cold. Elyan hugs the child who hugs him back. Sir Elyan: It's all right (kneels down) What do you want from me? Druid boy: I want you to bring me peace. You must right the wrong that was done to me. Sir Elyan (nods): How? What should I do? Druid boy: It's easy. You must kll the King. Elyan tenses at the request, then nods. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Elyan waits for guards to pass by. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Arthur is at his desk, reading. Elyan steps in silently, a sword at his hip. Arthur looks up, startled, then rolls his head in relief. King Arthur: Elyan, you startled me. Is everything all right? Elyan steps forward and draws his sword. King Arthur: Elyan? What the hell do you think you're doing!? Arthur falls back in his chair to avoid Elyan's sword as it slams down on the table. Arthur rolls out of the way as Elyan sab the floor. The King uses a stool to block Elyan's strikes until it is slashed apart and Arthur is left with only the stool legs. King Arthur: Guards! Arthur tosses the stool legs at Elyan and grabs a larger, sturdier stool. Elyan continues to attck, but is distracted when the guards enter. Arthur throws the stool at Elyan, then bolts forward to grab him, but Elyan is already running out. The guards chase after him. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Agravaine addresses the knights. Agravaine: I know Elyan is a friend to some of you, but that friendship ended when he tried to kll the King. Do not let him escape. Now, go find him! The knights disperse. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin enters. Merlin: What happened? King Arthur: Elyan. He attcked me. Merlin: I think he's possessed. King Arthur: What do you mean "possessed"? Merlin: He may have disturbed a spirit at the shrine. I think that spirit's possessing him. Arthur seriously considers this. Merlin: Why else would he attck you? King Arthur: Well, when we catch him, I intend to ask him that very question. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Sir Gwaine: I never thought I'd see the day we'd be hunting one of our own. Sir Leon: I just can't understand why he would attck Arthur. Sir Percival: Well, what would you do if your sister had been banished from Camelot? Sir Gwaine: Well, my sister's an evil old toad, so I'd be eternally grateful. Elyan dashes out from his hiding place at the end of the corridor. Sir Leon: There he is! They run after Elyan who picks up a bench and throws it at them. Then, he topples a candelabra, but they jump over it and catch him at a locked door. They face each other, swords at the ready, Elyan only has a dagger. Sir Leon: Elyan, we don't want to hurt you. Sir Gwaine: Put the Knfe down. Sir Percival: Why don't we all just put our wapon down and sort this out like friends? Percival sheathes his sword. Gwaine and Leon do likewise. Sir Elyan: I had to do it. Sir Percival: Of course you did (steps closer) We understand. We're your friends. Elyan puts the Knfe down and Percival slaps him unconscious. KING'S PALACE, DUNGEON - NIGHT Elyan is shoved into a cell by some guards. The guards leave and Elyan is freaked out by the dripping druid boy. Druid boy: You failed me. Sir Elyan (terrified): I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY Agravaine: Elyan must be tried and punished in accordance with our laws. King Arthur: But that would mean putting him to death. Agravaine: Well, so be it. You can't afford to show favouritism. King Arthur: What if Elyan wasn't acting of his own volition? Agravaine: What do you mean? King Arthur: Merlin believes that Elyan has been possessed by some kind of spirit. Agravaine: Oh. I have no doubt he's just trying to protect his friend. Merlin: Why else would Elyan attck Arthur? Agravaine (to King Arthur): His motive is obvious. He seeks revenge. You banished his sister from Camelot. Merlin: I know Elyan, and no matter what he feels about his sister, he would never attck Arthur. Agravaine: Arthur, you must see. All this talk of possession and spirits, it's just a ruse to save Elyan's neck. King Arthur: But what if it is true? I'd be executing an innocent man. More than that, I'd be executing a friend. Agravaine: You cannot be seen to allow someone to try and kll you and then escape punishment. You will appear weak. That puts the whole of Camelot in Peril. Merlin: Arthur... King Arthur: Leave me (Merlin is disappointed)…Both of you. Slightly bewildered, Agravaine follows Merlin out. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Merlin: Agravaine is just pushing for Elyan's execution. Gaius: Arthur may have no choice but to sentence Elyan to death. Merlin: We can't allow that to happen. Gaius: What do you propose we do, Merlin? Merlin: There must be a way of ridding Elyan of the spirit that possesses him. Gaius: It would require very powerful magic Merlin: Then I must master it to save Elyan's life. Gaius: And you intend to expel the spirit in the cells, under the noses of the guards? Merlin: Of course not. First we need to break Elyan out of the cells. Did I miss out that part? Gaius laughs nervously. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin emerges from his room. Gaius brings him a flask. Gaius: Elyan will have to be unconscious when you expel the spirit. I put a powerful sedative in this water. Merlin takes it. Gaius: And Merlin, remember, Elyan is not himself. You cannot trust him. Merlin: I know. KING'S PALACE, DUNGEONS – NIGHT Merlin looks down at the guards from the stairs. He sees a barrel nearby. Merlin (casts a spell): Strangaþ bydenfæt His spell knocks the barrel over. The guards approach it. His eyes glow and the barrel rolls down the corridor and the guards follow it. Merlin (casts another spell) Wyrþ gatu fæst! His eyes glow and the gates behind the guards shut. Merlin unlocks Elyan's door cell. Sir Elyan (surprised): Merlin! Merlin: I don't have time to explain. You have to trust me. Elyan gets up and they head down the tunnels. Merlin unlocks another gate. The warning bells ring and they start to run. They emerge outside the city. Merlin: We need to make it to the cover of the woods. FOREST - NIGHT Merlin and Elyan run through the woods. They stop, panting. Sir Elyan: You know, Merlin, you're much braver than you look. Merlin: Are you calling me a coward? They laugh. Sir Elyan: I'm saying there's not many people with the courage to break someone out of the cells. Merlin: I had to do it. They were going to execute you. I know that you would never hurt Arthur. Not of your own volition. Elyan looks sharply at Merlin. Merlin: After all that running, you must be thirsty. Merlin hands him the flask. Elyan takes it with a smile, but he sees the druid boy shake his head behind Merlin. Sir Elyan: Where are my manners? You must be thirsty, too. Merlin: No, after you. Sir Elyan: No, no, after you. I insist. Merlin: No, I had some water earlier. If I have too much, I have to pee all the time. Ask Arthur, I'm always peeing. What are you looking at? Merlin looks at Elyan's line of sight. He sees nothing, but appears disturbed. Sir Elyan: I'm sorry, Merlin. Merlin: For what? Elyan knocks him out and looks at the soaked druid boy. Sir Elyan I won't fail you again. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Gaius treats Merlin's head wound. Merlin: Just before he jumped me, there was a presence there. I could sense it. Gaius: It was Elyan who was supposed to be knocked out, not you, Merlin. Merlin: I must find Arthur. Elyan could make another attempt on his life. Gaius: After Elyan's escape, Arthur was put under heavy guard. There's little more you can do to protect him. This shrine...do you think you could find it again? Merlin: I'm not sure I want to. You said I was never to go there again. Gaius: We have to find out all we can about this spirit. Unless we know what we're dealing with, we won't be able to help Elyan or Arthur. FOREST - DAY Merlin leads Gaius to the shrine. Merlin stops. Gaius: Merlin? Merlin: It's just through these trees. They enter the shrine. Merlin: What are we looking for? Gaius: I'm not entirely sure. But remember, don't disturb anything. Merlin: Trust me, I won't. They split up to look around. Merlin hears a crunch of wood and turns sharply. Gaius (whisper): Sorry! Merlin hears whispers and crying and finds the well that Elyan drank from. He looks into it and hears wailing voices. He gasps, sniffles and wipes tears from his eyes after having had a vision of the Druids' fate in the well. Merlin: Gaius! Gaius: What is it, Merlin? Merlin: Something terrible happened here. Gaius (studies the well): These runes are in the druid tongue. I also found this (holds up an arrow) There are crossbow bolts scattered all around. Merlin: This was Uther's doing, wasn't it? Gaius: It is revenge for Uther's crime that the spirit seeks. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY Merlin enters while Arthur is reading over some documents. Arthur looks up stonily. King Arthur: Merlin, good of you to join me. Perhaps I should fill you in on all that's been happening while you've been...that's a good question. What the hell have you been doing? Merlin: I was… King Arthur: Choose your next words carefully. They may be your last. Merlin: I was searching...in the woods for some herbs for Gaius, very rare herbs, hard to find, actually, and I got lost. King Arthur: You mean to tell me that you've been wandering around in the woods all night? Merlin: Yes. King Arthur: What happened to your head? Merlin: I…I tripped over a root...and I ht my head on a tree and I knocked myself out. Merlin tries to chuckle at his own supposed clumsiness. Arthur's not fooled. King Arthur: Mm. Well, after wandering around in the woods all night, knocking yourself out, you must be hungry. Merlin: I'm starving. King Arthur: Pull up a chair. Tuck in. Merlin: Oh, thank you so very much, I am actu…you're joking. Arthur gives Merlin a blank stare as confirmation. Merlin takes away Arthur's plate of food and exits. Arthur continues with his reading. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - DAY Merlin stops behind a column to finish off Arthur's breakfast when he sees a hand sticking out of an open door. It's an unconscious guard. Merlin: Oh, no. Merlin drops the plate. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY One of the guards behind Arthur drops without a sound. Arthur gets up and the other guard drops. Arthur turns to see Elyan stepping around a column with a cross bow aimed at him. Arthur dodges it and it hits his throne. Meanwhile, Merlin runs back to the council chamber. Arthur takes one of the guards' swords and Elyan draws one. King Arthur: Why are you doing this? Elyan is sopping wet. Arthur draws back, confused and unsettled. Possessed Sir Elyan (in druid boy’s voice): I must avenge my death. Possessed Sir Elyan attcks and Arthur parries. King Arthur: What've you done to Elyan? They continue to fight and Merlin arrives at the council chamber door, but it's locked. Merlin (muffled): Arthur! King Arthur: Don't make me kll you, I don't want to kll you. They continue fighting. Outside the room, Merlin's eyes glow and the council chamber door busts open. He breaks into the room, distracting possessed Sir Elyan. Arthur throws Elyan to the floor, making him drop his sword, and steps forward, sword poised for the kll. Merlin: Stop! That's not the Elyan we know! Arthur looks down at the now-defenceless possessed Sir Elyan on the floor and backs away. Possessed Sir Elyan gets up and runs off. Merlin: You let him go? Arthur breathes harshly, a dark look on his face. KING'S PALACE, THRONE ROOM - DAY Gaius and Merlin wait as Agravaine reports to Arthur. Agravaine: The palace is secure. No one is able to get in or out, and we're searching the lower town even as I speak. Fear not, my Lord, Elyan will be hunted down and slain. I'll see to it personally. King Arthur: Thank you, Uncle. Agravaine nods and exits. Arthur turns to Gaius and Merlin. Merlin: You know that isn't Elyan or you wouldn't have let him go. Arthur nods. King Arthur: When Elyan spoke to me, it wasn't with his voice. It was the voice of a boy, a child. Gaius: That is the voice of the spirit that now possesses him. King Arthur: What do you know about the shrine, Gaius? Gaius: I believe the site was once a druid camp. There is evidence that the camp was attcked. Your father was relentless in his persecution of the druids. Many died. I believe it is one of those tormented souls that now possesses Elyan. King Arthur: And that's why he seeks his revenge. Gaius: The spirit craves peace. He wishes to find his proper place in the other world, but the unjust nature of his death has denied him that. King Arthur: Is there anything that can be done to change this? Gaius: In druid lore, only the atonement of the perpetrator can bring the spirit peace. Merlin: But Uther's dad. He can't atone for what he did. Gaius: Indeed. King Arthur: What about Elyan? Gaius: Elyan is no longer the man you knew. The spirit has a hold on him that may be too powerful to break. All we can hope is that he'll be found before he has a chance to enact his revenge. King Arthur: And if we do find him? Gaius: Then I fear you have no choice...but to kll him. ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Arthur broods while Merlin clears the table. Merlin: It's not your fault. You can't be held responsible for everything your father did. King Arthur: That'll be all, Merlin. Thank you. Merlin: Are you sure you don't want me to stay? King Arthur: I think I'm going to get an early night. Merlin: I'm pretty tired, too, what with having spent the night in the woods. King Arthur: No one said anything about you getting an early night, Merlin. In fact, you can make up for your little escapade by polishing my armour. KING'S PALACE, ARMOURY - NIGHT Merlin polishes Arthur's armour. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Merlin walks to his chambers and sees Arthur walk down the corridor behind him wrapped in a cloak. Merlin follows. KING'S PALACE, TUNNELS - NIGHT Arthur bears a torch as he walks through the castle tunnels. Merlin follows. FOREST - NIGHT Arthur heads through the woods, Merlin close behind. Merlin loses sight of him. He searches and turns at something behind him but no one's there. Arthur steps up behind Merlin, hood pulled down. King Arthur: Merlin. Merlin spins around. Merlin: Fancy meeting you here. King Arthur: What the hell are you doing creeping around in the woods? Merlin: I'm following you. What the hell are you doing creeping around in the woods? Arthur takes off his cloak. King Arthur: Something I should've done a long time ago. Merlin: Elyan could be out here. Do you know how dangerous that is? King Arthur: I have to face him. Feel free to go back to Camelot anytime you like. Arthur continues on. Merlin follows. Arthur stops and looks back at him. King Arthur: You're not going back then? Merlin: Thought I might tag along. Don't want you getting lost and scared. Arthur smiles and keeps walking. FOREST, DRUID SHRINE - NIGHT They approach and stop just outside the flags. Merlin: Are you sure you want to do this? Maybe we should wait until it's light. Arthur ignores him. Merlin: Or we could just do it now. Whatever it is that we’re doing, in the dark, when it’s incredibly scary and dangerous. They reach the centre of the shrine. Arthur puts his sword away. Merlin: Is that a good idea? We might be needing it. King Arthur: I'm not sure a sword would be much use against a spirit. Merlin: What about against Elyan? Arthur ignores him. King Arthur (loudly): I'm here! That's what you want, isn't it? Merlin: What are you doing? King Arthur (looks at Merlin): Everything Gaius said about this place is right except for one thing. It wasn't my father that led the raid on the druid camp. I did. Possessed Sir Elyan appears. Arthur faces him. Possessed Sir Elyan (in druid boy’s voice): My blood is on your hands. I cannot rest because of what you did. King Arthur: I know. Arthur holds his hands out and kneels. King Arthur (begins to cry): I am responsible for what happened to you. And for all the volence that happened here. When I led the attck on your camp, I was young and inexperienced. I was desperate to prove myself to my men, to my...father. Possessed Sir Elyan walks closer. King Arthur (still crying): I told the men to spare the women and children, but I know that some of them ignored the order. And there was so much happening. I wanted to stop it...I froze. I didn't know what to do. Possessed Sir Elyan steps closer. King Arthur (breaking down): I can still hear the screams. I cannot right this wrong. Nothing I can ever do will change the horrors that happened that day. But I can promise that, now that I am King, I will do everything that I can to prevent anything like this ever happening again. From this day forth, the Druid people will be treated with the respect they deserve. I give you my word. Possessed Elyan draws his sword. King Arthur: I am truly sorry for what happened to you. Arthur prepares himself for the blow, breathing hard but possessed Elyan drops his sword. Arthur is surprised. Possessed Elyan takes Arthur by the shoulders to bring him to his feet. He looks into Arthur's face and hugs him. Possessed Sir Elyan (whisper): I forgive you. Possessed Sir Elyan steps away and the spirit leaves Elyan’s body. Arthur watches it in awe. Elyan rouses, but stumbles forward, and Arthur catches him. Sir Elyan: Arthur? Elyan faints as tears run down Arthur's cheeks. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - DAY Merlin enters with Arthur's laundry. Arthur looks up from his reading. King Arthur: How's Elyan? Is he going to be all right? Merlin: Gaius says he's going to make a full recovery. Arthur considers for a moment as Merlin puts the clothes in the closet. Merlin: You know, that was incredibly moving what you said at the shrine. King Arthur: As long as Elyan's going to be all right, it served its purpose. Merlin: It wasn't just about Elyan, though, was it? You meant it. I know you did. King Arthur: Does this have a point, Merlin? Merlin: I don't think I've ever seen you cry before. Not like that. You had tears running down your cheeks. It's nice to see this new sensitive, emotional side to you. It suits you. King Arthur: Shut up, Merlin. Merlin: I really thought you'd changed. King Arthur (closes the book): Then you're as stupid as you are ugly. Arthur walks off. Merlin: So, there's no chance that we could have a hug? Merlin opens his arms and Arthur stops on his way to the door. Arthur glares as he turns around and Merlin starts an attempted runaway as they go off screen.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "04x10 - A Herald Of The New Age"}	foreverdreaming
Episode 4.11 - The Hunter’s Heart “In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name...Merlin”. VILLAGE - DAY Gwen works in her yard wearing the red dress she wore four years earlier. She pauses to catch her breath and fingers her engagement ring on the string around her neck. She hears horses hooves and villagers begin to run and shriek, trying to escape the raiders riding into town. Gwen ducks behind the wall around her yard. A bandit knocks over a stand in the street and Gwen runs off. She turns a corner and finds her path blocked by a dismounted bandit. She tries to back up, but falls backwards and is quickly surrounded by bandits. The dismounted bandit raises his sword to strike. He's stopped by their leader. Helios: Wait. Gwen recoils as Helios leans over. Helios: There's still some pleasure to be had here. ------------------- OPENING TITLES ------------------- KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - DAY Merlin is following Arthur Merlin: I'm not saying it's inappropriate. I mean, you're the king and I'm not, and of course it's your choice, there's no doubt about that. It could hardly be my choice, could it? What with me not being the king. But, nevertheless, I do feel I have to say something because, strictly speaking, these clothes are only supposed to… King Arthur: Merlin. Merlin: Yes, my Lord. King Arthur: Could you do something for me? Merlin: Of course. Absolutely. Not a problem, whatever needs doing. King Arthur: Could you...please...shut up. Arthur continues walking. Merlin pauses for a bat then continues talking. Merlin: Yes, I can do that. Of course I can. That's not a prob… King Arthur (distance): Now! KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY Arthur walks to the front of the room and faces his court. Merlin stands next to Gaius. King Arthur: My Lords, fellow knights, gentlemen...as you are all aware, Camelot's claim to the lands of Gedref has long been in dispute. Today I can announce that, after many months of confidential negotiations, the kingdoms of Nemeth and Camelot have reached an agreement. There's some murmuring among the court. King Arthur: There's nothing to fear. It is a fair and honourable agreement that befits two great kingdoms. Furthermore, our friendship will be cemented by a union that cannot be broken. My hand in marriage to Her Royal Highness, Princess Mithian. The cour whispers and starts to applaud. Gaius sees Merlin staring slack-jawed at Arthur. Gaius: Smile. Merlin (shakes his head): He can't mean that. Gaius: And clap. Smile and clap. Merlin smiles and claps, pretending KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - DAY Merlin follows Arthur back down the corridor. Merlin: How come I didn't know any of this? How come you didn't say anything? King Arthur: That's what "confidential" means, Merlin. Keeping it from blabbermouths like you. Merlin: You can't do this. King Arthur: No, you're right, I can't. Oh, wait a second...I'm the king, so I can. Merlin: Surely it's a little bit... King Arthur (sharply): A bit what? Merlin: Soon? Arthur feigns ignorance, but he is clearly angry and upset. King Arthur: What do you mean? Merlin: Erm, well… King Arthur: You mean Guinevere. I told you not to mention her name again. Merlin: Which is why I didn't. King Arthur: How many times do I have to tell you? Guinevere made her choice. She betrayed me. Now she must take the consequences. Merlin: But… King Arthur: But what? Merlin: Nothing. King Arthur: That's right. Nothing. Arthur turns to leave. Merlin: Except that you still love her. Arthur stops in the doorway, Merlin glares at his back. Arthur pauses for a moment, then turns around and marches angrily toward Merlin. King Arthur: You ever say anything like that again and I swear you'll join her in exile forever. They glare at each other and Arthur leaves. KING'S PALACE, SCROLL VAULT, NIGHT A servant puts some scrolls away and locks them up tight. The servant locks the door as he exits and walks down the corridor. Agravaine: Eoghan. The servant startles as Agravaine steps out of the shadows. Eoghan: My Lord. Agravaine: Have you what I asked for? Eoghan: I, erm...it was not so easy as I thought. Agravaine: I hope you haven't forgotten how much I've done for you. Eoghan:: No. No, of course not, my Lord. Agravaine: Or how simple it would be for a man in my position to have you arrested. I should hate to see such young life wasted. Eoghan: I cannot do it. I cannot betray my master's trust, my Lord. I'm sorry. Agravaine: You'd rather betray mine. Mm? (laughs) Of course, I understand. You swore loyalty to your master. It's commendable. Eoghan sighs in relief. Agravaine: Now, come. Neither you, nor I, will say anything about it (he sab Eoghan in the stomach) Particularly you. Agravaine takes Eoghan's legs and drags him off. FOREST - NIGHT Agravaine rides through the woods. MORGANA'S HOVEL - DAY Morgana: You're late. You have the plans? Agravaine: There have been some unexpected developments. Morgana: I hope you're not going to tell me you've failed me once again. Agravaine: I'm sure there'll be the other opportunities in the future. Morgana: Camelot grows in power every day, Agravaine. If we don't act now, there will be no future. Particularly for you. Agravaine: It is not easy, my Lady. The plans for the siege tunnels have always been very well protected. Morgana: And yet you assured me you could bring them to me. Or were you exaggerating? Agravaine: No. Not at all. It will take time… Morgana: Enough! Morgana takes a moment and sighs. Morgana: A man of your standing can go wherever he pleases, Agravaine. Agravaine: You're not suggesting I take the risk myself? She tilts her head. Agravaine: But...if I should be caught... Morgana: Mmm…Best not to be caught, then. HELIOS'S TUNNELS, GWEN’S CHAMBERS - DAY A servant fixes Gwen's veil for her new harem-like outfit. Helios comes in. Helios: I was not mistaken. Gwen stands and the servant steps back. Helios: The filth of the pigsty cannot disguise true beauty (he bows) Helios. I'm only sorry we had to meet under such circumstances. Gwen curtsies. Gwen: Guinevere. I suppose I must thank you for my life. The villagers were not so lucky. Helios: These are difficult times, I need new recruits. The youth of today are not always...enthusiastic. Who are you? From what family do you come? Gwen: I am no one. Helios: I find that hard to believe. Gwen: Nevertheless, it is true. Helios: No matter. I'm not concerned with where a person comes from, only with what they can become. Would you do me the honour of dining with me? Gwen seems not happy with the idea, but puts on a smile and curtsies. KING'S PALACE, MAIN SQUARE - DAY An assembly is gathered for the arrival of Princess Mithian. An armed guard precedes her. The party halts. King Arthur: Knights of Nemeth, Camelot welcomes you and extends the hand of friendship. The guards in front move aside and allow the princess to approach. Arthur steps down from the stairs, taking a breath as he prepares to meet his future bride. Princess Mithian raises her veil and Arthur is stunned by her beauty. Merlin raises his eyebrows at her loveliness. Arthur collects himself and steps forward as a guard helps her dismount. King Arthur: Princess Mithian, you are most welcome. Princess Mithian: Thank you, Your Highness. I have heard much about you and you are more handsome in person than reports suggested. Arthur seems not to feel at ease with the compliment. King Arthur: Erm... Princess Mithian: Are we to stay in this chill all day? King Arthur (confused): Forgive me. Arthur takes her hand and faces the welcoming committee. King Arthur: Tomorrow, there will be a great feast to welcome our worthy friends. The knights, councilmen and courtiers applaud and smile. Merlin's smile fades. HELIOS'S TUNNELS, DINING CHAMBER - NIGHT Helios leads Gwen into a dining chamber. A lavish meal is set on a low table surrounded by rich cushions and candlelight. Gwen is surprised. Helios: Were you expecting something different? Perhaps campfires and raw meat. Gwen: I'm not sure what I was expecting. Helios: Please, sit. I want to know all about you. Gwen (sitting on a cushion): There's not much to tell. Helios: Except how a beautiful woman ended up swilling out the pigs in the middle of nowhere. Gwen: It's a long story. Helios (sits opposite her): I have all night. KING'S PALACE, MOAT - NIGHT Agravaine dumps Eoghan's body and places a note in Eoghan's jacket before sneaking off. HELIOS'S TUNNELS - NIGHT Gwen: Once they klled my family, I knew they would come after me. I had no choice but to flee. I travelled many months before I found someone willing to take me in. Helping with the pigs seemed a fair price for such charity. Helios: You have suffered much for one so young. Now those days are truly behind you. One of Helios's men clears his throat as he enters. Man: My Lord. Helios: I said we were not to be disturbed. Man: The Lady Morgana requests an audience. Gwen starts at the sound of Morgana's name. Helios: She's here? (man nods) Make her welcome. Tell her I will see her right away. Gwen is stunned. Helios: Are you all right? Gwen: Yes, of course. Helios: You don't mind if someone joins us? Gwen: I had thought we'd be alone. Helios: It'll take but a few moments. Gwen: I should retire. Helios: There's no need. Gwen: I'm very tired. She gets up. Helios stands up, too. Helios: But we have barely gn to know each other. Gwen: I'm sure there will be time enough. Thank you for your kindness. Helios: Until the next time, then. Gwen curtsies and pulls the veil over her face as she leaves. Morgana doesn't even glance at her as they pass each other in the tunnel. Gwen lowers the veil and breathes a sigh of relief. Morgana enters the dining chamber. Morgana: You have company. You never change, Helios. Helios: Do you have the plans? Morgana: Not yet. Helios: That was our agreement, Morgana. Without them, any attck on Camelot would be suicidal… Morgana: Well, I hear your force is not yet up to strength. Helios: Preparations are nearly complete. Morgana: But not quite yet. Helios: Are you doubting me? Morgana: No more than you me. Helios (smiles): I am sure we understand each other perfectly. Come... (pours a drink) You must be thirsty after your ride (hands her the drink) You are welcome to stay. Morgana (smiling): Take care not to get too distracted, Helios. There's still much to do. Once I'm crowned Queen of Camelot, you may indulge yourself all you wish. Helios: I may keep you to your word. Morgana: I'll look forward to it. KING'S PALACE, MOAT – DAY Sir Leon shows Agravaine Eoghan’s corpse. Sir Leon: I thought you should see for yourself, my Lord, as soon as possible. Agravaine: You did the right thing, Sir Leon. Oh, what a shame. Agravaine looks up. Agravaine: Poor boy must've lost his footing on that wall. Sir Leon: And so I thought. The wall has a high parapet, it couldn't have been an accident. Agravaine: But he was drunk. Sir Leon: Possibly, but there's no smell of intoxication. Agravaine: We only have one recourse. We must ask Gaius to examine the body. See if he can use his expertise to tell us what happened to the unfortunate boy. Sir Leon: I shall send for him at once. Leon walks off and Agravaine smirks at the body. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Merlin is poking at his food at the breakfast table. Gaius: Are you going to sulk all day? Merlin: I’m not sulking. Gaius: You haven't said a word all morning. Merlin: I'm thinking. Gaius: You know how bad that is for you. Merlin (sighs): It is Arthur's fate to marry Gwen. Gaius: If that's the case, then he will. Merlin: But am I supposed to do anything about it? Gaius: You don't think that's a little arrogant? Merlin: Yes…and no. I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore. Gaius: You could start by eating your porridge. A knock at the door. Sir Leon enters. Sir Leon: Gaius, I have a message from Lord Agravaine. He requires your presence. KING'S PALACE, MOAT - DAY Gaius: Poor boy's broken his neck. You can see the bruising just here. Agravaine: Must be from the fall. Gaius: Possibly. But from such a height, one would expect more injuries. There isn't so much as a graze, never mind any broken bones. Agravaine: What are you saying, Gaius? Gaius: I'm not sure. Not yet. Gaius turns Eoghan's corpse over. Gaius: Something here in his tunic. Gaius pulls out the note Agravaine had planted and reads it. Gaius: It's a letter from Odin's court. Agravaine: Let me see. Agravaine grabs it and pretends to read it. Agravaine: I must tell the King at once. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY Arthur reads the fake note. Agravaine: Young Eoghan was the mapmaker's apprentice. He was a good lad from a decent family. King Arthur: Yet willing to sell his country's secrets for a few pieces of gold. Agravaine: And of course, he did have access to the city's most sensitive plans. King Arthur: The location of the siege tunnels. Agravaine: I fear so, my Lord. And I don't need to tell you what an enemy could do with such plans. King Arthur: Was anything else found alongside this letter? Agravaine: No, Sire. King Arthur: Then it's possible the boy succeeded in his mission and was mrder for his pains. I need to check the vaults. Agravaine: Yes, of course. KING'S PALACE, SCROLL VAULTS - DAY Agravaine: No sign of a forced entry. King Arthur: Boy would've had full access. There's no need to break the locks. Agravaine: A complete inventory will be necessary, my Lord. With your permission, I'll start right away. King Arthur: Meanwhile, double the guard and bring in the mapmaker. It's possible the boy wasn't acting alone. Agravaine smirks as Arthur leaves him in the scroll vault alone. MORGANA'S HOVEL - NIGHT Agravaine hands the siege tunnel map to Morgana. Morgana: I hope you're not going to disappoint me once more, Agravaine. Agravaine: Plans to the siege tunnels of Camelot. Good as a key to the gates. Morgana unrolls the map. Morgana: But a good deal more deadly (uses magic to copy the plans) “De gelicnesse ond afæstne þa þim clute þa”. Morgana's eyes flash and the map glows like fre. Morgana rolls the map up, revealing a newly made duplicate underneath. Morgana: You've done well, Agravaine. Finally. KING'S PALACE, COUNCIL CHAMBER DINING HALL - NIGHT The court dines. Arthur chats with Princess Mithian at the head of the table. Merlin isn't pleased to find them smiling and laughing together. He casually strolls to the head of the table to interrupt them. Merlin: Would you like more soup, Sire? King Arthur: No, thanks. Arthur turns back to Mithian. Merlin: You sure? Arthur leans forward and lowers his voice. King Arthur: Merlin, you've asked me that three times now. Will you just... Arthur makes a "go away " face and Merlin leaves. Mithian puts a hand on Arthur's arm. Princess Mithian: You were saying? King Arthur: I...was very surprised. Merlin's eyes glow as he walks away and Arthur's hand flips a spoonful of soup onto his chainmail. Princess Mithian: Oh. King Arthur: Er...sorry, I, erm... Princess Mithian (using her napkin to wipe the soup off Arthur's clothes): No harm done. She chuckles at the situation and Arthur regards her warmly. They share a long look and Merlin rolls his eyes. Agravaine approaches them and disrupts the moment. Agravaine: The vaults are secure, my Lord, and, er...there were no plans missing. King Arthur: Thank you for performing your duties with such haste, Uncle. Now you have to make up for lost time. We are to have dancing and I hear that your jig used to be something to behold. Agravaine: Er..."used" is the word, Sire. Alas I am not as nimble as I once was. King Arthur: Nonsense. Agravaine: I do feel that dancing is best performed in youth and appreciated in age. Arthur and Mithian chuckle as Agravaine departs hastily. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - NIGHT Arthur walks Mithian to her chambers. King Arthur: I'm afraid the Festival of Ostara will soon be upon us. Princess Mithian: Should I be worried? King Arthur: It's a tradition in Camelot to have a hunt that day, but Merlin can arrange a tour of the city. Princess Mithian: A tour? King Arthur: Some of the buildings go back many centuries. Princess Mithian: Arthur, I love hunting. Arthur stops, surprised. King Arthur: Really? Mithian stops and faces him. Princess Mithian: Really. I believe these are my chambers. King Arthur (nods): Of course. Princess Mithian: Well then I bid you good night, Sire. Mithian holds out her hand. Arthur takes and kisses it. King Arthur: Goodnight, Princess. They look at each other for a moment. The pause continues and Mithian glances down at their hands. Princess Mithian: If I may...? Arthur inclines his head, asking for the end of her question. Mithian nods down at her hand and Arthur realises and lets it go. He clears his throat. King Arthur: Sorry. She turns to leave. King Arthur: Mithian. She stops and turns around. Princess Mithian: Yes, my Lord? King Arthur: I was...thinking, perhaps... Princess Mithian: Yes? King Arthur: You...might like some breakfast. Princess Mithian (confused): Breakfast? King Arthur: Tomorrow…with me. Mithian smiles. King Arthur: A picnic…er…somewhere…nice. Somewhere nice. Princess Mithian: I look forward to it. Mithian smiles as she turns into her room. Arthur smiles, somewhat relieved. Then shakes his head at his own botched invitation attempt. King Arthur: Breakfast. I...rubbish thing to say. He walks off mumbling to himself. HELIOS'S TUNNELS, DINING CHAMBER - DAY Morgana arrives at the caves and dismounts. Helios opens the siege tunnel map. Helios: Where did you get this? Morgana: The source is impeccable. Gwen peers out from behind a rock, listening to their conversation. Helios: If I'm to risk my men against Camelot, I need more than impeccable, Morgana. Morgana: The king's uncle and most trusted advisor Lord Agravaine. I doubt you'd find a source more impeccable than that. Gwen pulls herself up on a jutting rock to see them through the entrance crack. Helios: Then it is only a matter of time. I will send word the moment our forces are at full strength. Morgana: Don't delay. The treaty of Nemeth will be sealed in days. Helios: It will be soon. The rock that Gwen is standing on breaks off and she stumbles backwards. Morgana and Helios hear it and Gwen's retreating footsteps. Morgana: Someone's listening! They rush out of the room in search of the spy. Morgana: Did you see who it was? Helios: Not for sure. Seal the camp! Account for everyone! Helios's men run through the tunnels. Helios checks Gwen's sleeping chamber followed by Morgana. Helios: Any sign? Servant: She's taken nothing. Morgana: Who is this woman? Helios: A serving wench I recently acquired, no more. Check the river. Morgana looks down and recognizes the dress folded up on the bed. She smiles and picks it up. Morgana: Does this woman have a name? Helios: Guinevere. Morgana: Your appetite has betrayed you. She's no serving wench. We must find her now! FOREST - DAY Gwen runs through the woods, chased by Helios's men. She rushes down towards the river, looks back for a moment and then steps down into the water. Helios's men run down to the river and continue running along its bank. They pass and Gwen surfaces from the water. CAMELOT, FOREST RIDGE - DAY Arthur leads Mithian by the hand to an outlook in the forest. Merlin carries all of the food, blankets, and pillows. King Arthur: How about here? What do you think? Princess Mithian: Well, the view is certainly spectacular. King Arthur: Yes. Merlin collapses to the ground as he puts down all of the picnic gear. Arthur crouches down. King Arthur: Ground isn't really smooth, is it? It's a bit bumpy. Arthur gets up and walks left a few paces. King Arthur: Ah, what about over here? Mithian looks down at Merlin who is rolling his eyes. King Arthur: Ah, yes, this is much better. Merlin. Mithian joins Arthur. Merlin picks up all the gear and hauls it over a few paces. He puts it down. Arthur looks at him and takes a breath. King Arthur: Perfect. Perfect. Merlin sets all of the gear down on the ground and rubs his shoulder. King Arthur: Yet, is the view really as good? Princess Mithian: Arthur... King Arthur: You prefer the original. Right, then. Merlin! Arthur walks briskly back to the original spot. Princess Mithian: Don't be so mean. King Arthur: He doesn't mind, do you, Merlin? Merlin shakes his head with a stiff smile. Merlin: No. King Arthur: Besides, he needs building up. Look at him. Princess Mithian: Enough. Thank you, Merlin. I'll do the rest. Merlin picks up all of the picnic gear and Mithian carries the picnic basket back to the original spot. Arthur and Mithian lounge on pillows. Mithian giggles and Merlin sht a disgusted look at the pair of them from his spot against a tree trunk. Merlin's eyes glow and Arthur belches. Mithian's laughter fades, and Arthur looks at her in embarrassment. King Arthur I'm sorry, I, ahem, really don't know what came over me. I... Arthur shifts awkwardly. Merlin's eyes glow again and Arthur belches again. Mithian looks at him curiously and Arthur tries to cope with his embarrassment, shaking his head. King Arthur I don't know what to say. Mithian belches loud and long and finishes with a smile. Arthur is taken by surprise and they laugh. Merlin nods his head and rolls his eyes. FOREST - NIGHT Morgana rides up to Helios in the woods. Helios: The trail has gone cold. We should call off the search until morning. Morgana: No! That woman must be found. I'll search all night if necessary. Helios: She could be anywhere by now. Morgana: There's only one place she'll go. To Camelot and to Arthur. Gather your men. Helios whistles and his men return. FOREST, CAMPFIRE - NIGHT Gwen huddles near a campfire she built. She fingers her engagement ring on the necklace and startles at every noise. KING'S PALACE, PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS - DAY Merlin emerges from his room as Gaius pours over Eoghan's supposed note from Odin. Merlin: I don't know why I bother. I should just leave him to it. Let him make his own mistakes, see how he gets on without me. I should resign. Gaius is too absorbed to pay attention. Merlin: I said, "I should resign." Gaius (looking at the parchment): Quite so. Merlin: Gaius, you're supposed to say, "No, no he needs you even if he doesn't realise it." Gaius (still examining the parchment): Something's not quite right here. Merlin: Exactly. Gaius (to himself): I can't put my finger on it. Merlin: I have to go hunting. I hate hunting. Merlin puts on his jacket and heads for the door. Merlin (sarcastic): Thanks Gaius. You really made me feel a whole lot better. Merlin slams the door shut on his way out and Gaius looks up. KING'S PALACE, MAIN SQUARE - DAY Knights, servants, and guards prepare for the hunt. Arthur mounts his horse. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - DAY Mithian catches up with Merlin as he trudges miserably through the castle. Princess Mithian: You're not a fan of hunting? Merlin stops and turns to Mithian who waits expectantly. Merlin: What sport is it when one side has dogs and spears and crossbows and the other nothing? Princess Mithian: Not much of a fan of me either, are you? Merlin seems surprised. Princess Mithian: Come on, Merlin, I'd have to be a fool not to notice. Merlin: I'm sorry if I caused offence. Princess Mithian: I'm sure you have…good reasons. One thing I've learned since being here is that Arthur values your opinion above almost all others…even if he'd be the last person to admit it. Merlin pretends to scoff, but smiles. Merlin: You can say that again. Princess Mithian: I like him, Merlin. I really do. I didn't expect to, but...well, he's a loveable person, isn't he? Underneath it all. All I ask is that you give me a chance. Can you do that? Merlin (nods): Yeah. Merlin smiles with a nod and Mithian smiles back. Princess Mithian: Thank you. FOREST - DAY Morgana rides through the woods in pursuit of Gwen. She stops and sees smoke from Gwen's campfire rising in the distance. FOREST, CAMPFIRE - DAY Gwen wakes at the sound of a horse whinny. She gets up and begins to run. She passes a tree and snaps one of its branches in her rush. Morgana continues and stops to look for any signs. She spots the snapped twig and heads off in that direction. Gwen runs full tilt now as Morgana gallops through the woods. Gwen falls, but gets up quickly and keeps going. Morgana catches up and cuts her off. Morgana: Gwen. Nice to see you again. Oh, you've forgotten. I've hunted these woods since I was a child. Gwen: Leave me alone. You've already done enough harm. Morgana: You misjudge me. We were friends once, were we not? Gwen scoffs. Morgana: I only wish to help (she points) The path to Camelot is that way. Gwen: You think I'd ever trust you again? Morgana: Mmm, true, I might be lying. But perhaps not. Gwen: I know these woods, too. Gwen runs off. Morgana: Truth is it doesn't matter which way you go. Morgana's eyes glow and Gwen screams as Morgana throws her into a tree. Gwen falls to the ground, unconscious. FOREST - DAY Hunting horns sound as Arthur and Mithian's party make their way through the woods. FOREST - DAY Morgana glowers down at Gwen and snatches the engagement ring necklace off of Gwen's neck. She starts as she hears the hunting horn. She looks down at Gwen, smirks, and drops the ring. Morgana: You wish to see your beloved Arthur again? And so you shall. (casts a spell) Nu bebiede ic þe þæt þu lætest þine flæsc sclice gelic nysse. Wyrþ deor!* Morgana's eyes glow and a golden shimmer glows over Gwen's body. Morgana leaves with a smirk. FOREST - DAY Merlin walks alongside Arthur and Mithian's horses. Merlin: Maybe we should call it a day. King Arthur: Nonsense. We've barely gn. Merlin: Not much point in hunting if there's nothing to hunt, is there? King Arthur: Well, we could always give you a five minute head start, Merlin. Mithian smiles at Arthur's joke. Sir Leon: Deer! They chase after a doe running through the woods. Merlin slows to a walk and separates from the group. He spots the doe and it looks at him. He senses something and hears Gwen's weeping. The doe reflected in his eye forms into a tearful Gwen as his eyes glow. He realises what's happened and sees Gwen's running reflection as the doe passes by a small puddle. The hunting party passes by Merlin and he comes to his senses and chases after them. Sir Leon: Beauty. Leon aims, but gives up when he notices Arthur next to him. Sir Leon: Sire, she's yours. Arthur aims. The doe stops and looks at him. Arthur sht and Merlin's eyes glow. The bolt misses and Arthur gives his crossbow a confused look. Princess Mithian: I thought you were a good sht, my Lord. Mithian aims and sh*t. Princess Mithian: Gold sovereign says she's ht. They urge their horses forward. Merlin runs through the woods searching for Gwen while the rest of the party searches for traces of the doe. Sir Leon: Deer tracks. King Arthur: Ah. It can't have gone far. Merlin looks worriedly around the woods while Arthur searches for more deer tracks. Arthur sees something shiny on the forest floor and crouches down to pick it up. It's Gwen's engagement ring on the necklace and he recognises it. Princess Mithian: Have you found the trail? My Lord? Arthur stares at the ring, completely lost in it. Princess Mithian: My Lord? Arthur looks up at Merlin, trying to process the pain of this shock. Merlin looks back at him, breathes heavily and continues to roam his eyes around the woods worried for Gwen. Mithian looks at Merlin and back to Arthur, sensing something's wrong. Princess Mithian: My Lord? Arthur stares off into the woods, breathing heavily in his emotion. King Arthur: There'll be no more sport today. Arthur gets up and walks past Mithian, lost in his own head. Princess Mithian: I didn't take you for a poor loser. Sire? She looks back at Merlin, trying to sort out Arthur's sudden dark mood. FOREST - NIGHT Merlin rides into the woods searching for Gwen. Merlin: Gwen! Gwen! Gwen! Merlin dismounts and goes searching for her. Merlin: Gwen? (he spots something) Gwen? Gwen? He finds her lying unconscious, shaking, a crossbow bolt in her leg. Merlin pulls out the arrow and places his hand over the wound. Merlin: (casts a spell) Ic hæle þina þrowunga. His eyes glow. He places a hand on her shoulder and eventually she sighs and stops shaking, relaxing into sleep. FOREST - DAY Merlin sits with Gwen as she sleeps. She wakes. Gwen: Merlin! Merlin: How are you, Gwen? Gwen: I'm all right! (she hugs him)…I think. What are you doing here? Merlin: You were injured. Gwen: Oh, yes, I remember now. Where's Morgana? Merlin: She was here? Gwen (nods): She enchanted me. She and the Southrons and Helios, they're planning to attck Camelot. Merlin: They'd never succeed. They must know that. Gwen: They have help. Agravaine gave them plans of the siege tunnels under the citadel. Merlin: Agravaine? Gwen nods. Merlin: We must tell Arthur. They hear something nearby. Gwen (whisper): What's that? The sound of hoof beats draws near. Merlin gets up to check and sees three knights riding through the woods. Merlin smiles a little. Merlin: It's a Camelot patrol. They can lend you a horse. Gwen: No! Merlin: But Gwen… Gwen: Please, Merlin. She grabs his hand to stop him. Gwen: I can never see Arthur again. Merlin: He wants to see you. Gwen (shakes her head): It cannot be. Not after I betrayed him. Merlin stares at her Gwen: You go. Tell him of the danger. Merlin: Gwen, if you stay here… Gwen: I have what I deserve. Merlin tries to grab her hand and pull her with him. Gwen: Go! Hurry! (she nods to him) Go! Merlin looks at her and then heads off. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - DAY Arthur broods in his room, fingering Gwen's engagement ring. Merlin bursts in. Merlin: Sire, I need to talk to you. King Arthur: I told you I didn't want to be disturbed. Merlin: Sire, it is important. Very important. King Arthur: You defy me? You defy your king? Merlin: Yes! I do! You know I would not do so unless the situation was grave. Arthur puts the ring on a table and grabs his gloves to follow Merlin out. KING'S PALACE, CORRIDOR - DAY Arthur marches through the castle with Merlin. King Arthur: The idea is preposterous! I've known my uncle since I was a child! I refuse to believe that he would ever betray Camelot! KING'S PALACE, SCROLL VAULT - DAY Arthur unlocks the cabinet with the siege scroll map. King Arthur: Plans for the siege tunnels are kept here. Arthur opens the cabinet and feels around the back for a while. Merlin's confidence builds and his irritation rises. Then Arthur pulls out the map. Merlin is confused. Agravaine enters as Arthur opens the scroll. Merlin: I don't understand. Arthur puts the scroll back. Agravaine: I came as soon as I could, my Lord. Is there a problem? King Arthur: No, Uncle, not at all. I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you. Merlin: Can we please… King Arthur: One more word out of you and I swear to God I will send you into exile. Merlin looks at Agravaine who smirks at him. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - DAY Arthur sits on the end of his bed, fully dressed in his chainmail, fingering Gwen's engagement ring. The door opens and Merlin enters. Merlin: Have you not slept, Sire? Arthur doesn't move. Merlin stands dutifully, arms folded in front of him. Merlin: Is there anything you need? King Arthur: How can I love someone who's betrayed me? It doesn't make any sense. And how can I make myself love another? Tell me that. Merlin: If there is nothing else that you require, perhaps I could… King Arthur: I don't know what to do. I have no idea...what to do. Merlin watches Arthur struggle and Arthur looks at him. King Arthur: What should I do, Merlin? Merlin: All I know, my Lord, is that no one would sacrifice more for Camelot or you than Gwen. King Arthur: And if that were so? Merlin: You must do what your heart tells you, Sire. King Arthur: What if I don't know what that is? Merlin: I think you do. Arthur looks down at Gwen's ring and plays with it as he thinks. Merlin: Is there anything else, Sire? King Arthur: You may go. Merlin bows and walks off. King Arthur: Thank you, Merlin. Merlin looks back and exits. KING'S PALACE, MAIN SQUARE - DAY Princess Mithian's escort waits for her in the square as she descends the steps. Arthur faces the square as she passes him without a word. King Arthur: Princess. She stops, but doesn't turn around as she puts on her gloves. King Arthur: Forgive me. She turns to face him. Princess Mithian: The time for words is over, Sire. King Arthur: I understand. And it is for this reason that I hereby offer you and your descendants all the disputed lands of Gedref. Princess Mithian: You would give up your ancient claims? King Arthur: I have no desire for wr. Or to grieve you any more than I already have. Princess Mithian: Such an offer cannot be rushed into. King Arthur: I've had my scribed draw up an agreement (he pulls out a scroll) If you're happy with the terms, I'll sign forthwith. Princess Mithian: And if I refuse? King Arthur: It's all I can offer. I do so most humbly. He bows his head and looks down, then looks at her. He holds out the scroll, waiting for her response. She considers him for a moment and then takes the scroll. Princess Mithian: Tell me...who is it that trumps a princess? King Arthur: No one (thinks for a moment)…and everyone. Mithian's mood lightens. Princess Mithian: What great family is she from? King Arthur: None. She's the daughter of a blacksmith. Princess Mithian: And for her you would risk your kingship? Your kingdom? King Arthur: Without her, they're worth nothing to me. Mithian considers this and looks down. Princess Mithian: Hm…I would give up my own kingdom to be so loved. Farewell, Arthur. Arthur smiles a little. King Arthur: Farewell, Princess. Mithian gives him a small smile back and turns away. KING'S PALACE, ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT Merlin prepares Arthur's bed as Arthur stares out the window, lost in thought. He turns to Merlin. King Arthur: Have I been a fool? (Merlin looks up) To give up so much for a woman who betrayed me? A woman who I might not even see again? Merlin: You will see her again. You did the right thing, my Lord. As I knew you would. King Arthur: And how could you be so sure? Merlin: Because...you're Arthur. You're noble. You're the Once and Future King. King Arthur: Doomed to be a bachelor. Merlin chuckles. King Arthur: What's the point of loving someone who cannot be found? Merlin: Gwen will be found. You will find each other. King Arthur: Are you really wise, Merlin, or just a prating fool? I can no longer tell (Merlin takes a couple steps and trips on Arthur's chamber pot)…As if there was ever any doubt.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "04x11 - The Hunter's Heart"}	foreverdreaming
Episode 4.12 – The Sword in the Stone (Part One) Arthur’s Chambers Arthur dresses behind the screen. Arthur: What’s taking so long? Merlin: It’s the Feast of Beltane. The King must look kingly. Arthur: I’m hardly going to look kingly in my undergarments, am I? Merlin: Have a little patience. Think of something pleasant. Arthur: You in the stocks? Merlin: Wait one second... Merlin fiddles with something. Arthur: One. Arthur steps out from behind the screen and Merlin spins around, hiding something behind his back. Arthur: What have you got there? Merlin: Nothing. My hand. Merlin shows his right hand, then hides it behind his back. Merlin: My other hand. Merlin shows his left hand, then hides it behind his back. Arthur walks forward dressed in everything but his trousers. He turns Merlin around and sees his belt in Merlin’s hands. He takes it. Arthur: Why are you putting another hole in this belt? Merlin: I was, er...enhancing it for comfort and ease of use. Arthur: Are you saying I’m fat? Merlin: No! I’m saying the belt is one hole shy of perfection. Arthur: Ridiculous! Arthur tries to put the belt on over his chainmail. He cringes as he tries to squeeze it tight. Arthur: Come on. The belt doesn’t close. Merlin: Don’t be too hard on yourself. A little extra padding goes with the job. What, with all the feasts and banquets and ceremonies. Arthur gives up on the belt and hands it to Merlin. Arthur: All right, Merlin, do what you have to do. Not a word of this to anyone, understand? Merlin: Trust me, if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s keeping secrets. --- Castle – Siege tunnels Agravaine strikes a match, lights a smoke grenade and launches it at the feet of the sentries guarding the entrance to the siege tunnels. The guards cough and choke. Agravaine steps past them and signals Morgana's troops with a torch. They signal back. --- Castle – Dining Room The dining room bustles with conversation as Arthur enters. He passes Gaius as he heads to the head of the table. Arthur: Have you seen Agravaine? Gaius: No, sire. Not since this morning. Arthur: Strange. He should be here by now. Arthur takes his place at the head of the table and Merlin arrives with a heaping plate of food. Arthur: Ah! My favourite. Herb crusted capon. Merlin: Easy now, we don’t want any more holes in that belt! Percival chokes on his wine as he sniggers. Arthur laughs uneasily. Merlin (to Gaius): Wine? Gaius nods and Merlin pours him a glass. Arthur: Merlin? Arthur nods for him to lean in. Merlin steps closer and Arthur grabs the front of his shirt. Arthur: It’s a good job you don’t have anything of any actual importance to keep secret, isn’t it? --- Castle – Siege tunnels Agravaine exits the tunnels and looks for Morgana's army, worried that she's not there yet. His expression relaxes and he smiles when he sees the Southrons approaching. He leads them through the tunnels. --- Castle – Dining Room Arthur watches Sir Percival chatting up a lovely lady. He turns away, depressed. Merlin: You all right? Arthur: No-one likes to be called fat, Merlin. Merlin: Sorry. Arthur looks around, continuing to mope. Merlin: It's Gwen, isn't it? Arthur: I look for her in the room; she’s not there… Then I remember why. --- City Gate Southrons snap the necks of the sentries at the gate, then cover the lower town with lighter fluid. Agravaine drops a torch on it and the whole lower town goes up in flames. He smirks. Morgana watches from the hills, Helios at her side and the Southron army behind her. Morgana: It's time. – Opening Credits – --- Camelot – Lower Town The townsfolk flee as knights attempt to put out the fires. Elyan shouts an order. Elyan: Form a line to the well! We need more water. Now! Sir Leon: Forget about the water. Elyan: But if we can't… [SHOUTING] Leon grabs Elyan's arm and directs his attention to the arch where the Southron army is advancing. Elyan: How did they breach the gate!? Sir Leon: We can't worry about that now. Quickly! Sound the alarm! The knights draw their swords. --- Dining room Arthur stands in confusion as the warning bells sound and Gwaine enters. Gwaine: Sire! We're under attck! They're within the city walls! Arthur takes off his cloak. Arthur: Merlin, get everyone to the inner chamber. Merlin: Yes, sire. Everyone follow me! Arthur jumps over the table and grabs a sword. Arthur: Gwaine, secure the armoury! Percival, with me! --- Castlecorridor Elyan runs into Agravaine marching down the corridors with the Southrons. Elyan: This is your doing. Agravaine: Stand aside. There's nothing you can do about it now. Elyan draws his sword. Elyan: I can kll you for the traitor that you are. Agravaine draws his sword. Agravaine: Brave words, Elyan. And they shall be your last. Elyan is thrown backwards and falls to the floor unconscious. The Southrons step aside revealing Morgana behind them with a hand raised. Morgana: We don't have time to play soldiers, Agravaine. Morgana marches past them and they follow. --- Arthur leads the defensive through the corridors. Southrons pour into the main square. [BELL TOLLS] --- Inner chamber Merlin and Gaius help the wounded. Merlin: The lower town is lost. It's only a matter of time before they reach the citadel. Gaius: How did this happen? How did they get in without being detected? Merlin: We knew Agravaine was planning something. Gaius: It seems your worst fears have been realised, Merlin. Merlin takes off. Gaius: Merlin… Merlin: I've got to find Arthur! --- Castle corridors Arthur slices through Southrons on his way down the corridor. Merlin runs to find him. --- Camelot Lower Town Helios kills his way through the lower town. Sir Leon: We can't hold them for much longer! Lead the people to the woods! Retreat! Retreat! --- Phoenix corridor Arthur and his knights fights Southrons. Arthur kills the two attacking him, but a third takes down one of his knights and turns on Arthur, striking him in the ribs. Arthur cries out in pain. Merlin arrives. Arthur elbows the attacker in the face and clutches his side as he runs down the corridor. Merlin intercepts him and pulls him around the corner. Arthur yells in pain. Arthur: Arrrgh! Been hiding in the broom cupboard as usual, Merlin? Merlin: We need to get out of here! Merlin shoves Arthur down another corridor, then turns back to the Phoenix corridor as the Southrons run toward them. Merlin: Bæl on bryne! The torch fires spring across the width of the corridor, blocking the Southrons as they cower back. --- Courtyard corridor Merlin and Arthur run down the corridor, Arthur still clutching his side. Merlin: Are you all right? Arthur: I'm fine. They stop against a column and Arthur groans. Arthur: Maybe a broken rib or two. Arthur peeks around the corner and sees Helios and Morgana leading the Southron army. His expression changes to shock when he sees Agravaine with them. He rests back against the column. Arthur: Agravaine. Arthur's anger rises and Merlin grabs him to stop him from launching out to face the entire Southron army alone. Merlin (whisper): No! It's no good! Arthur! There are too many of them. We can deal with your uncle later. All right? Arthur calms a little and Merlin leads him away. Merlin : Go! --- Woods Knights, guards, and townsfolk flee the city. Sir Leon: Quickly, this way! Go on! Quickly! Go on! Sir Leon looks back at the burning city. --- Throne room Helios approaches Morgana who lounges on the throne alone. Helios: The city has fallen. Camelot is ours. Morgana (unimpressed): And? Helios gives her a look. She rises from the throne. Morgana: Taking Camelot was the easy part, Helios. I want Arthur. Where is he? Helios: He's right here, my lady. In the palace. He's nowhere left to run. Morgana smiles. Helios smiles and laughs as Morgana stalks past him. --- Inner chamber Gaius: I can bind the ribcage, but even that would run the risk of puncturing a lung. Arthur: Do whatever it takes, Gaius, just so long as I can swing a sword. Gwaine and Percival enter and bar the doors. Gaius: How do we stand? Percival: The citadel is overrun. We can't hold out much longer Gaius: How long before they reach us? Percival: Minutes at best. Merlin: We can't wait for Arthur. If they find him, they'll kll him. Percival: We must get him to safety while we still can. Gwaine: Arthur would never abandon his people. He'd rather die. Merlin: Barricade the doors. Give us as much time as you can. Merlin and Gaius step aside. Merlin: We need to get Arthur out of here whether he likes it or not. Give him some kind of potion, something to knock him out? Gaius: I don't have anything strong enough. In my chambers, perhaps, but the Southrons control the palace. Merlin: There must be something. Gaius: I'm sorry, Merlin. Maybe there's something you can do. Arthur won't go willingly. What if he was to lose his will? Merlin: Are you suggesting magic? Gaius: Can you do it? Merlin: I can try. Merlin steps behind Arthur and Gaius steps in front of him as Arthur leans back against the table. Gaius: I'm sorry, sire, this is going to hurt. Arthur: Just get on with it! Gaius presses his hands into Arthur's wound and Arthur howls in pain. Merlin: Mod Wes craeftleas…* Merlin's eyes glow and Arthur stirs weirdly. Gwaine and Percival rush up. Merlin: We need to leave now, sire! Merlin looks at Gaius, waiting. Arthur: Of course. Arthur stands up, slightly unsteady and the others look at each other. Merlin gives Gaius a shrug and Gwaine and Percival brush off their surprise. Percival: Then let's go. Percival slings Arthur's arm around his neck and helps him out. Percival: We'll use the Postern Gate. Merlin gathers Arthur's things. Gwaine stops as the walk out and offers his hand to Percival. Gwaine: I'll keep them off your back as long as I can. Percival looks at Gwaine, then he grasps Gwaine's arm and exits with Arthur. Gaius just stands there. Merlin: Gather your things, Gaius. Gaius: You go, Merlin. I'll just slow you down. Merlin: Gaius, no. Gaius: You must know it's for the best. Merlin: No, if you stay here… Gwaine: No time to argue. I'm sorry. Gwaine shoves Merlin toward the exit. Gaius: Look after our King, Merlin. Merlin hesitates, then runs off. Gwaine and Gaius face the door. The Southrons burst in, Morgana in their midst. Gwaine allows his sword to be taken. Gaius: It seems your victory is short-lived, Morgana. Morgana scowls and turns to the door. Morgana: Prepare the horses! We're going on a hunt. --- Woods Percival support Arthur through the woods, Merlin at their side. They slow to a stop. Arthur:Thank you, Percival. Merlin: Can you walk on your own? Arthur:Oh, yes. Just point me in the right direction. Footsteps approach. Percival: Shh! Percival grabs someone. Percival: Elyan! Elyan: Don’t all back on my account. They smile. Percival: Is the way out of Camelot clear? Elyan: As far as I can tell. They head off, while Arthur lingers to watch Camelot burn. Merlin waits for him. Merlin: Come on, Arthur. Merlin nods for Arthur to follow and he walks on slowly. --- Woods Percival: They'll come after us. They know Arthur's still alive. Elyan: Then we have to make it across the border. Find sanctuary anywhere we can. Merlin: I know a place. Ealdor. It's beyond the White Mountain. Wait… They stop and Merlin turns back to listen. [HOOVES APPROACH] Merlin: Listen. Percival: Run! They run as Morgana, Agravaine, and the Southrons ride straight for them. Morgana mutters curse. Morgana's eyes glow and they're all thrown forward. Merlin and Elyan help Arthur to his feet and they keep running. Southrons pursue on foot. Merlin: Where's Percival? Elyan: We have to go! They reach a rock trench and Elyan stops. Elyan: Go! Arthur runs on. Elyan hands Merlin a sword. Merlin: What about you? Elyan: Don't worry about me. Go! Merlin runs off. Elyan steps into the trench opening and fights off the Southrons as they come one at a time. --- Woods Merlin stops running and holds up a hand and Arthur runs into him. Arthur: Sorry! My fault. Merlin is surprised. Merlin: I think we're safe for now… But we need to find you some kind of disguise. You're too conspicuous in those clothes. Arthur looks down at his armour and red cape. Arthur: Whatever you say. I'm entirely in your hands. Merlin stares at simpleton Arthur for a moment and they continue on. --- Council Chamber Morgana is curled up on the throne, smiling up at Helios as Agravaine enters. Agravaine: All quarters of Camelot are now under our control. Some knights have fled to the woods, but those that did not escape are either in our dungeons or dad. Morgana: Very good. Agravaine smiles at Morgana, but it fades when he catches Helios's eye. Morgana: Now [...] the people of Camelot welcome me as their Queen? Agravaine: They will swear allegiance to no-one but Arthur. Morgana: I expected no less. Burn their crops. Agravaine is clearly shocked. Morgana: Let’s see how they feel when their children begin to starve. Helios: And what of Arthur? Morgana nods and a couple of Southrons shove Elyan into the chamber. Helios nods and they shove him to his knees in front of Morgana. Morgana: We'll find Arthur soon enough. --- Woods Merlin and Arthur find a hut with laundry hanging on the clothesline outside. Arthur hunches down over Merlin's shoulder. Merlin: Perfect. Arthur nods like an imbecile behind him as Merlin tries to get up with Arthur squeezed in next to him. Merlin sits against a wall as Arthur changes. Merlin: In your own time. Obviously. Arthur:Agh. Sorry, Merlin. Some of these things are a little on the tight side. Merlin: Beggars can't be choosers, sire. Arthur: No, you're right. I Probably should learn to think before I speak, shouldn't I? Merlin smiles. Merlin: It'd be a start. Arthur: Agh. All done. Arthur steps out from behind the wall for inspection. The trousers reach just below the knee, the sleeves barely reach past his elbows, and the shirt shows a large section of midriff. Merlin laughs. Merlin: Well, Arthur, what can I say? You look like a total turniphead. Arthur: Well, should I try something else? There's, there's plenty more here. Merlin: No. No. That, that will do absolutely fine. Although, maybe I'll take that. Merlin takes the money pouch on Arthur's belt. Arthur: My gold! Merlin: Probably safer with me. Arthur: Of course. Merlin smiles a bit, then gives simpleton Arthur a strange look. --- Council Chamber Morgana holds out a small black snake. Morgana: Do you know what this is? No? It's a Nathair from the Mountains of Asgorath. Harmless enough most of the time, but with a little persuasion, it can cause a man pain beyond all imagining. So you have a choice. Tell me where Arthur is... Elyan smirks. Morgana: Or sample the delights of my little friend here. Elyan: I'll tell you nothing. Morgana: I was hoping you'd say that. Morgana holds up the snake. Morgana: Unmicel snacca, suge tha nothan…swilcnesse!* Morgana grabs Elyan. Helios and Agravaine watch as Morgana applies the snake and Elyan screams in agony. Later, Helios eats some chicken while he and Agravaine wait outside the trture chamber, listening to Elyan's screams. Agravaine is clearly disturbed. Agravaine: Good God, will it never end? Helios: What's wrong? Don't have the stomach for it? Helios smirks at Agravaine. Morgana exits the trture chamber. Morgana: Arthur travels to Ealdor. You will leave without delay. And Agravaine, fail me again and you'll be taking Elyan's place. Agravaine sh*t Helios a look. Helios smirks and walks off at Morgana's side. --- Dungeons Elyan is dragged to the same cell as Gaius and Gwaine. Gwaine catches Elyan as the Southrons drop him and lock the door. Gwaine: What have they done to him? Gaius: This is the work of the Nathair serpent. He's been tortured to the limit of human endurance. Gwaine: Can you help him? Gaius: I'll do what I can. --- Arthur's chambers Morgana reads Arthur's documents. Agravaine enters. Morgana: I thought I told you to leave at once. Agravaine: My men are all ready to depart. Morgana: Then what are you waiting for? Agravaine: I... Morgana looks at him with a confused scowl. Agravaine:I just wanted to say goodbye. Morgana: Consider it done. Agravaine: And to ask you to take care. Morgana:Why? I have nothing to fear. Agravaine: Despite all that you have achieved, Morgana, you must remain cautious. There's danger at every turn. You can trust no-one. Not even Helios. Morgana smiles and leans back. Morgana: No-one except you, is that it? Agravaine: I am your one true ally, my lady. I am your one true friend. I will do anything for you, you know that. Morgana: I am grateful for your loyalty, Agravaine. That is why I've entrusted this mission to you. Agravaine: I understand. Of course I do. I only wish it did not take me from your side where I can best protect you. Morgana:Find Arthur and you need never leave my side again. Agravaine bows. Agravaine: My lady. Agravaine exits and Morgana sits back and considers their conversation. Agravaine leads the Southrons out of Camelot. --- Woods Merlin senses something. Merlin: Stop. Merlin listens, then turns to Arthur and speaks slowly. Merlin: Wait…here. Arthur nods and Merlin heads off. Arthur heads off in the other direction. Merlin catches sight of set of travellers breaking camp. Someone puts a sword at his back. It's a blonde woman. Isolde: Hello! She smiles. Isolde brings Merlin and Arthur to Tristan, who's sharpening a Knfe. Isolde: I found them lurking in the woods. Tristan: See anything interesting? Merlin: No. Merlin and Arthur duck as Tristan throws the Knfe into the tree behind Merlin's head. Tristan: You want to watch where you stick your beak, boy. Merlin: I didn't see anything, I promise. We were just passing through. Isolde: They've no horses, no supplies, nothing. Tristan: Like to travel light, do you? Merlin: Something like that. Tristan: So where're you headed? Merlin: North over the border. Tristan: Lot's kingdom? He doesn't take kindly to strangers, I can tell you. Likes to decorate his fortress with their heads. Merlin: So why are you heading there? Tristan: I have my reasons. Merlin: Right. Arthur: I agree with him. Tristan: What's wrong with your friend? Merlin: He's a simpleton, he can't help it. Tristan: Look after him, do you? Merlin: Without me, he wouldn't last a day. Arthur nods. Tristan narrows his eyes at them suspiciously, then looks back at his wagon. Tristan: Very well, I suppose you can be on your way. Tristan retrieves his Knfe from the tree. Merlin: Could we not come with you? I mean, I would be grateful for the company, to be honest. Arthur steps forward. Arthur: I'm very annoying. Tristan (scoffs): I'm sorry. Merlin: Please? Tristan: Don't push it, boy. You're lucky I let you go with your lives. Merlin: I could pay you. That catches their attention. Merlin: With gold. Tristan: Well, why didn't you say so before? Arthur smiles like an idiot. Merlin looks at him and Arthur goes serious. --- Near the hut in the woods Agravaine finds Arthur's discarded clothes. Agravaine: What kind of coward would deny who he is? Men, this way! They can't have got far! --- Woods Merlin and Arthur travel with Tristan and Isolde. Tristan: We make camp here! Isolde smiles as Tristan helps her down from the wagon and he holds her in his arms. Isolde: Why, thank you. Tristan: My pleasure. Arthur sticks a leg out of the wagon and Merlin shoves it back in. Later, Merlin helps them make camp. He opens a box and Isolde steps around the corner of the wagon. Isolde: That doesn't concern you. Merlin: I'm sorry. It's just, I recognise that smell. That is frankincense isn't it? Tristan: What if it is? Merlin: It must be worth a fortune. Tristan: It must be. Merlin: You're smugglers. Isolde: We prefer to think of it as free trade. Tristan chuckles. Merlin: It's forbidden. By edict of the King, if you're caught, you could be klled. Tristan: Caught? Tristan and Isolde? I don't think so. We're too quick and too smart for the halfwit king in Camelot. Tristan walks past Arthur who is hugging a tree, tapping it with his knuckles with an ear pressed against the trunk. Merlin: You don't say. Merlin goes to collect Arthur. --- Woods (night) Merlin and Arthur sit by their own campfire. Merlin: More soup? Arthur: Yes, please. Merlin ladles some soup for Arthur. Arthur: Thank you. Arthur lifts the bowl to his lips. Merlin: A please and a thank you all the same time? That's amazing. Arthur: Is it? Merlin: Mm. Well, let's just say manners are not your strong point. Arthur: Really? Merlin nods. Arthur: In what way? Merlin: Rude. Thoughtless, insensitive. And that's when you're in a good mood. Arthur: I’m sorry to hear that. Merlin: I don't think you realise how hard I work for you. I know you're the King, but it would be nice if you could do one small think for yourself as a...gesture, a mark of respect. Arthur: Sorry to have been a disappointment, Merlin. I'll try harder in future. Merlin: Oh, I look forward to that. On the other hand, why wait? Merlin drops his soup bowl on top of the one Arthur is holding. Merlin: That pot will need rinsing out as well. Arthur: Of course. Merlin: And when you're done with that, the horses need a rub-down, too. Arthur: My pleasure. Merlin watches Arthur as he gets up and takes the stew pot. Merlin: Over there. Merlin points. Arthur walks over the bushes and falls over, crashing down with a clatter. Merlin smiles and lies down. Merlin: You all right? Arthur: Yeah. Arthur gets up and continues on while Merlin gets ready to sleep. Woods Agravaine rides through the woods, the Southrons bearing torches behind him on foot. --- Camp in the woods (morning) Arthur walks through the camp while everyone's asleep. He walks up to Merlin and kicks him to wake him. Arthur (low): You better have a damn good explanation for this, Merlin. Merlin stares at him. Arthur: Fine. I'll just carry on kicking you. Arthur kicks Merlin some more and Merlin scrambles to his feet. Merlin: Arthur. Merlin looks into Arthur's face. Merlin: You're back. Arthur: What do you mean, I'm back? You're talking gibberish. Merlin: Listen to me, please. Camelot is lost. You were injured in an attck, you passed out. I had to get you out of there. Arthur is stunned as he remembers. Arthur: Where are we now? Merlin: We're heading north to a safe haven, to Ealdor. Hopefully the knights will meet us there. Arthur looks around the camp. Arthur: Who are these people? Merlin: They're, er...smugglers. Arthur: Smugglers?! Merlin: Shhh! Arthur: All right, let's assume, for one moment, you know what you're doing. It doesn't explain why I look like a village idiot. Merlin: It's the perfect disguise. No-one would ever suspect you of being, you know...who you are. Arthur: I'm sorry, Merlin. I am not going around looking like this. Merlin: You have to. You got to keep in character. Arthur: Character? What character? Tristan: You. Merlin turns around. Tristan: We leave as soon as the horses are watered. Explain it to the simpleton, would you? Arthur looks at Merlin and Merlin smiles sheepishly. Merlin carries the sword as he and Arthur walk toward the wagon. Arthur takes the sword back and Tristan and Isolde look up. Tristan: Simpleton. Merlin: He's talking to you. Arthur: I don't answer to that name. Merlin: In character, remember? Tristan looks down at the sword. Tristan: Impressive piece… Arthur (pirate): Thankyee, sirrr. Tristan: May I? Arthur lets Tristan take the sword. He examines the blade. Tristan (scoffs): Magnificent. The only place you find workmanship of this quality is the royal forge of Camelot. Tristan puts the sword to Arthur's throat. Tristan: Tell me… how did you come by it? Merlin: I won it in a card game. Gave it to him as a present. Won't be parted from it. Makes him feel safe. Tristan narrows his eyes suspiciously. Arthur nods stupidly and Tristan hands the sword back to him. Tristan: I hope for your sake that's true. Arthur takes the sword like he doesn't know how to hold it. Tristan: I'd hate to think that I was riding with a knight of Camelot. Arthur hugs the sword to his chest. Arthur (pirate): Aye. Isolde giggles. Isolde: A Knight of Camelot? Look at him! Merlin chuckles. Arthur pretends not to know how to put the sword in his belt. Tristan: You're right. Their knights may be stupid, but they're not that stupid. Arthur puts on a big smiles and chuckles with the rest of them as Merlin tussles his hair. Merlin: Pack your things, simpleton! Arthur grabs Merlin's arm. Arthur (smiling): Call me that again and I'll run you through. Merlin: Don't worry, sire, I'm sure you won't have to keep it up for too much longer. Arthur: How long?! The man walking past them gets sht with an arrow. They turn and see Southrons charging the camp. Arthur grabs Merlin to duck out of the way. An arrow lands in the tree next to Arthur's head and they run to take cover behind the wagon with Tristan and Isolde. Arthur takes charge. Arthur: Head for those trees, we'll cover you. Tristan and Isolde exchange a confused look. Arthur: Do you want to live or not? Tristan steps forward to question Arthur, but Isolde grabs his arm and they run off. Arthur and Merlin fre crossbows at the Southrons through the wagon. Merlin tosses Arthur another bolt and reloads his own crossbow. Merlin: Now what? Arthur: Now it's our turn. Merlin: Who's going to cover us? Arthur: Don't be a simpleton, Merlin. They take aim and ht another two Southrons, but more keep coming. Arthur grabs the sword from the wagon and they run off. They take cover behind a fallen tree with Tristan and Isolde. Agravaine directs the Southrons by the wagon. Isolde: They haven't found the cargo. Tristan: They will. Besides, they weren't after the cargo. They were after you. Who the hell are you? Arthur: My name is Arthur Pendragon. Tristan: The King of Camelot! Arthur: At least I was… Tristan: I've lost everything I've worked for some good for nothing king! Arthur: That's quite something coming from a smuggler. Tristan: Well, I wouldn't have to be a smuggler if it wasn't for your damn taxes, would I?! Arthur: Those taxes help protect the people of this land. Tristan: My people are dad. You call that protection? Merlin: Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but... Merlin directs their attention to the Southrons charging them from behind. Arthur and Tristan charge the Southrons and fight side by side. Isolde fights more Southrons. One elbows her in the head and slashes her sword arm, kicking her to the ground. The Southron poises for the final blow, but crumples as Arthur sab him in the back. Tristan runs to Isolde and holds her. Arthur and Merlin watch empathetically. Tristan: Isolde… We had a deal. Partners for life, remember? Isolde: When have I not kept my promises? Tristan kisses her forehead. Arthur: We need to keep moving. There'll be more coming soon. Tristan: Then go. There's nothing stopping you. Arthur rolls his eyes. Merlin: Come with us to Ealdor. You'll be safe there. Tristan: I'm choosy about the company I keep. Isolde: He saved my life, Tristan. Thank you. Tristan: None of this would've happened if it wasn't for them. Arthur: She's injured. She needs shelter and rest. Tristan sighs, looks at Arthur, then back at Isolde. Isolde nods. Tristan: Very well. But know this, Arthur Pendragon, I do this for her. You and your kind bring nothing but misery to this land. --- Camelot dungeons Morgana arrives outside Elyan, Gwaine, and Gaius's cell with a few Southrons. Gaius: Have you come to gloat, my lady? Morgana: Is that any way to treat an old friend? I'll forgive you. After all, you're not looking your best. Gwaine: Can't you see he's starving? We all are. Morgana: Of course you are. You klled so many of my men. I'll have the kitchen prepare you a feast. Gwaine steps forward, but Elyan grabs his arm and shakes his head. Gwaine steps up to the gate more slowly, chains dragging as he walks. Morgana raises an eyebrow. Gwaine: I think not of myself, but of Gaius. He can't survive long without food. Morgana smiles and steps close to the bars. Morgana: Gwaine, so handsome, so selfless. Of course you shall have some supper...as long as you're prepared to sing for it. Morgana smirks and steps away as the guards open the door and drag him out. --- At the border in the woods Arthur: This marks the border between Camelot and Lot's kingdom. Merlin: Ealdor lies at the far side of the valley. Maybe half a day on foot. Arthur: We'll rest here for the night. There's no way Agravaine could've tracked us through those mountains. Merlin: I'll make a fre, we must keep Isolde warm. Tristan lets Isolde go as Merlin puts her arm around his neck and helps her to a campsite. Arthur holds out a water flask to Tristan. Arthur: Here, you should drink up. Tristan walks on. Tristan: I'll get my own. --- Council Chamber Southrons shove Gwaine into the middle of a fight circle where Morgana stands. She smiles at their rowdy enjoyment. Morgana: Behold! A Knight of Camelot, famed as the greatest knights in Five Kingdoms. Morgana grabs Gwaine's face. Morgana: Let's see if that fame's deserved, shall we? Gwaine scoffs with a smile and glares at her as she walks to sit her throne. A Southron brings out a couple of wapon. --- Woods campfire (night) Tristan and Isolde sleep in each other's arms, propped up against a tree trunk. Merlin and Arthur sit by the fre. Arthur: You knew… You knew Agravaine was betraying me. Merlin: I couldn't be sure. But, I did have my suspicions. Arthur: I feel like such a fool. I put such trust in him. All this time I was blind to his treachery as I was to Morgana's. Merlin: You were deceived, Arthur. It could happen to anyone. Arthur: Yet it keeps happening to me. I cared about these people. I don't understand. What have I done wrong? Why do they hate me? Merlin: No, they don't hate you. They just...crave your power for themselves. Arthur: Perhaps. Would they still want that power if I was the King my people deserve? Maybe Tristan's right… Merlin: Tristan was angry and... Merlin looks over at them sleeping. Merlin: ...afraid. He needed to blame someone, but it's not you that's to blame. Merlin looks at Tristan and shakes his head. Arthur: You seem very sure about all this. Merlin: All I know is that, for your many faults, you are honest and brave and truehearted, and one day you will be the greatest King this land has ever known. Arthur: Well...good to know I have the support of my servant at least. Merlin: I'm not alone. Believe me. --- Council chamber Gwaine fights one of the Southrons. Gwaine disarms one of the man's wapon. Gwaine: That all you have? I was promised a decent fight. The Southron pulls out another wapon from his belt and disarms Gwaine. Gwaine: You're a very angry man, I can see that. Must be hard… being so ugly. Children crying, women screaming. Come on. Completely unarmed, Gwaine knocks the Southron to the ground. The Southron gets up with one wapon left. Gwaine climbs on his back and punches him in the stomach. The Southron rams Gwaine into a column, but Gwaine gets off, punches the Southron and kicks him against the column. Gwaine picks up the mace and knocks him out with it in the now silent council chamber. Morgana stands, clapping slowly. Morgana: Congratulations, Sir Knight. And admirable display. You've earned your reward. She indicates to someone and they toss a half-loaf of mouldy bread at his feet. Morgana: But you're going to half to do better if you want some more. The Southrons chuckle darkly and Helios motions for two more warriors to step forward. The chanting begins again as Gwaine prepares for their attck. --- Ealdor (day) Tristan supports Isolde and the four travellers enter the village. Hunith catches sight of Merlin and runs to hug him, huge smiles on their faces. Merlin: Mother… Hunith: Welcome home, Merlin. --- A house in Ealdor Merlin checks on Isolde sleeping on the bed while Tristan and Arthur eat. Merlin: I’ve cleaned her wound. No sign of infection. So as long as she gets plenty of rest, she'll be fine. Tristan: Thank you, Merlin, for everything you've done for her. Merlin nods and leaves. Arthur: I'm sorry I brought this...misfortune upon you. Tristan: Well, I may have lost my cargo… but I still have my beloved Isolde. Arthur: Then you're richer than you know. Tristan considers Arthur and then looks at Isolde. Arthur watches them sadly. --- Woods (night) Agravaine and the Southrons sneak through the woods around Ealdor. Agravaine: Spread out. Ensure the village is surrounded. No one must escape. --- Eealdor Merlin walks with his mother. Hunith: It's good to have you home, Merlin. Merlin: I'm so sorry it's been so long. Hunith: I understand how it is, your life in Camelot. I worry about you sometimes. The dangers you must face. Merlin: Mother, I don't want you to worry. Hunith: I can't help it. It's what mothers do. Merlin: Well, we are safe here. All of us. Merlin looks at something. Merlin: How's she been? Hunith: As well as can be expected, but, erm...a broken heart takes time to mend. They regard Gwen through a crack in the door as she stands there sadly. They continue walking. Gwen steps forward. --- A house in Ealdor Gwen dressed Arthur's wounded ribs. He wakes and realises someone's there. He lifts his head when he recognises her. She waits sadly for his response. Arthur: Guinevere. Gwen smiles sadly. Gwen: Hello, Arthur. Arthur sits up on his elbows. Arthur: What are you doing here? Gwen shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head. Gwen: It's as good a place as any. Arthur stares at her. Gwen: I've missed you. Arthur: And I you. Gwen smiles bitter sweetly. Arthur sits up and Gwen waits until he holds out arm to hug her. She leans forward and they embrace each other tightly. --- Ealdor Merlin and Hunith hear screams as they sit talking. Merlin stands and sees the Southrons' torches surrounding the village. Merlin: Agravaine... He's found us. --- A house in Ealdor Merlin, Arthur, Tristan, Isolde, and Guinevere watch as Agravaine and the Southrons harass the villagers. Tristan: Any suggestions? Merlin: Round the back. Merlin waits for them to leave, then his eyes glow and he sets a cart rolling toward Agravaine. Merlin: Bæl on bryne!* Merlin's eyes glow and inside the cart goes up in flames. Agravaine and the Southrons dash out of the way just in time, but Agravaine looks up to see Arthur's party escaping. Agravaine: There! Get them! --- Woods Southrons chase Arthur's party through the woods. Tristan supports Isolde as they go.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "04x12 - The Sword in the Stone: Part One"}	foreverdreaming
Episode 4.13 – The Sword in the Stone (Part Two) Woods (Night) Southrons chase Arthur's party through the woods. Tristan supports Isolde as they go. Arthur's party approaches the mouth of cave tunnels. Merlin: I’ll cover our tracks, you keep going! Merlin turns away from the others as they head into the caves. Merlin: O drakon, fthengomai au se kalon; su katerkheo deuro. Merlin sees the Southrons approaching and Kilgharrah isn't arriving, so he heads for the caves. Agravaine hears the dragon's roar and looks up. Kilgharrah swoops down on them. Agravaine: Take cover! Kilgharrah flame roasts most of the Southrons as Agravaine tries to run --- Moutain tunnels Merlin catches up to the others in the cave. Arthur: Did you lose them? Merlin: We’re safe. Arthur: You sure? Merlin: Do I look like an idiot? Arthur: Yes. Merlin: He doesn't change, does it? Arthur: Which way now? Merlin looks around uncertainly. Arthur: I thought you said you grew up in these tunnels. Merlin: I did. It could be that way. Arthur: Or it could be that way. Merlin: Yes. Arthur: That's very reassuring. --- Woods Agravaine and a few of his men come out of hiding to look out over the field of crispy Southrons. Kilgharrah roars again and comes back for another pass. Agravaine: Run! Agravaine and the remaining Southrons run into the mountain tunnels, followed by a stream of fre. They escape unscathed. --- Mountain tunnels Arthur and Merlin lead their party through the caves. Tristan: So you know Arthur? Gwen: I was a servant in Camelot. Tristan: To Arthur? Gwen: No. Tristan: So why are you here? Gwen: He's my king. Tristan: I can't say I've detected many kingly qualities so far. Arthur is upset as he over hear this. Gwen: Well, maybe you don't know him. --- Mountain tunnels Agravaine and his men pursue Arthur's party. Agravaine hears something. Agravaine: Shh! They stop to listen and hear some pebbles move. Agravaine (mouths): That way. --- Mountain tunnels Arthur's party stops and turns as they hear movement behind them. Arthur: I thought you said we'd lost them. Merlin: I thought I had. Tristan: It won't take long for them to catch us. Merlin: I'll go back. Merlin heads back through the tunnel. Arthur: What are YOU going to do? Merlin: Create a diversion. Arthur stops Merlin. Arthur: It's too risky. Merlin: I know these tunnels and Agravaine doesn't. You keep going. Merlin hands Arthur his torch. Arthur: Merlin...don't do anything stupid. Merlin: Me? Arthur looks after Merlin, hesitant to leave him behind, then follows the others. Merlin sidles along the tunnel wall as he hears the Southrons approach. He takes a breath and then steps around the corner to face them. Merlin: OH, HELLO! Agravaine and his men run after Merlin. Merlin runs into a dad end. Agravaine: Merlin. Merlin? Trapped, Merlin turns to face Agravaine. Agravaine: Where's Arthur? Merlin shakes his head slightly. Merlin: Be careful. Agravaine is confused. Agravaine: What are you talking about? Where's Arthur? Merlin shifts his weight almost sadly, not really wanting to hurt them. Agravaine: Tell me. Now! Or I'll have to kll you. Merlin shakes his head sadly. Merlin: I don't think so. Agravaine steps toward Merlin. Merlin throws all of them back with a flash of his eyes. He takes a few steps forward and Agravaine wakes, gasping. Agravaine looks at Merlin and sits up. Merlin looks down, then raises his head nobly to look Agravaine in the eyes. Agravaine: You have magic. Merlin: I was born with it. Agravaine gets up, then something occurs to him... Agravaine: So it's you. You're Emrys. Merlin: That is what the druids call me. Agravaine: And you've been at court all this time, eh? At Arthur's side. (chuckles) How you've managed to deceive him. I am impressed, Merlin. Perhaps we're more alike than you think. Agravaine holds a hand out to Merlin, but Merlin raises his hand to strike with magic and Agravaine pauses, smile fading. Agravaine gestures submission and Merlin lowers his hand. Agravaine whips out a Knfe with to attck Merlin, but Merlin raises both hands and blasts Agravaine backwards with a flash of his eyes. Agravaine goes still as he hits the ground, eyes open. He lies dad whether from the spell, the fall, or his own Knfe sab him in the back as he landed on it. Merlin takes deep breaths and steps forward to look down at the men he just klled. He turns with a scowl and continues through the tunnels. --- Mountain tunnels Arthur slows to a stop and turns around. Tristan: What are you doing? Arthur: Shh! Arthur listens and they hear rocks moving. Arthur looks up. Arthur: Merlin? Tristan: He knows the tunnels. He'll find his way. Arthur: I'm going back. Arthur walks past Tristan, Gwen, and Isolde and Tristan watches in confusion. Tristan: For a servant? Gwen: You're wrong about him. --- Mountain tunnels Arthur approaches a corner and prepares to attck the approaching figure. Arthur: Merlin! Arthur straightens up. Arthur: Where have you been? Merlin: Were you worried about me? Arthur: No. I was making sure we weren't being followed. Merlin: You came back to look for me. Arthur: All right, it's true. I came back because you’re the only friend I have and I couldn’t bear to lose you. Merlin: Really? Arthur turns around and walks off... Arthur: Don't be stupid. Merlin smiles and follows. --- Exit of the mountain tunnels (day) Arthur's party emerges on the other side of the mountain. Tristan supports Isolde, and Arthur clutches his wounded ribs. Tristan: So where now? Arthur: To the plains beyond the mountains. Tristan: You sure? That's Lot's kingdom. He's no friend of the Pendragons. Gwen: Well, maybe we could find somewhere here, a house where we could rest. Tristan: We're fugitives, a danger to anyone who harbours us. Merlin: He's right. We must travel back towards Camelot. Arthur: No, we need to keep going. Merlin: If we hole up in the Forest of Ascetir, we'll be safe at least for a while. Arthur: No. Merlin: If anyone’s survived this battle, that's where they'll be hiding. Tristan: I know which I'd do. You're the king, Arthur. You're our leader. Arthur: All right.The Forest of Ascetir it is. Tristan smirks and they walk down the mountain path. --- Castle square (day) Southron troops march into the square. --- Castle dungeons Gwaine is slumped in a corner, manacles on his wrists. Elyan tends to Gaius who is lying on the bed, pale and weak. Elyan: Come on, Gaius, hold fast. Guards open the cell. One restrains Elyan while the other picks up Gwaine and escorts him out. Gwaine: Don't worry. Least we’ll get to eat. Elyan grabs the bars as the Southron locks the cell door. --- Council chamber transformed into a fighting room Morgana unlocks Gwaine's manacles. Morgana: So, you’ve another chance to sing for your supper. I thought I might make it a little harder this time. Gwaine: Seems fair. Morgana: Oh, but you can't fight with your bare hands. Morgana hands Gwaine a wooden dagger. Morgana: Never mind. You're Knight of Camelot. You'll be fine. Morgana struts to her throne and the Southrons begin to cheer as a couple mercenaries enter the circle to fight Gwaine. Gwaine: What the hell. Gwaine sinks into a fighter's stance. --- Forest of Ascetir Isolde sharpens her Knfe while Gwen and Merlin set up a campfire and Tristan and Arthur collect more wood. Tristan: Well, well, well, look at you. First you go back to rescue your servant, now you're getting your hands dirty. But then again, why shouldn't you? You're just like everyone else. There's nothing special about you, is there? Arthur: Well, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't deserve to be king. Tristan: Well, that's all right, because you're not. Not anymore. Tristan struts off while Arthur tries to cope with that fact. Gwen watches Arthur sulk off into the woods and gets up to go talk to him. Arthur tosses the wood aside. Gwen: Arthur? Arthur keeps walking and Gwen jogs up to him and touches his arm. Gwen: Arthur... Arthur stops and spins around. Arthur: Don't. Gwen pulls back. Arthur: What happened in Ealdor was a moment's weakness. Gwen flinches. Arthur: What you did to me... Everything I cherished between us, everything we had, it’s gone. That will never change. Gwen: I'm sorry. Gwen walks back to the campfire tearfully. --- Castle dungeons Gwaine stumbles into the cell and Morgana stands in the doorway with a half loaf of mould bread. Morgana: Enjoy your supper. Morgana tosses the bread into the cell. Morgana: I fear it'll be your last. Morgana exits and the Southrons lock the cell door. Elyan gives some bread to Gaius. Elyan: You need to eat. Gaius: Whether I eat or not, I'm not long for this world. Elyan: Come on, Gaius. Gaius: I'm a physician, Elyan. I have spent my days watching the cycle of life. If there’s one thing I’m not afraid of, it’s death. Don't waste your food. If Gwaine has to fight again, he'll need all the strength he can get. Elyan leaves the bread with Gaius. --- Forest of Ascetir Arthur lounges against a tree by the fre, arms crossed, brooding. Merlin: Come on, I'll take watch. Merlin sits down against the tree. Arthur continues brooding. Merlin: Arthur, what's the matter? Don't listen to Tristan, he doesn't know you. Arthur: I trusted the wrong people. Merlin (shakes head): They betrayed you. That wasn't your fault. Arthur: I was a fool. I’ve misjudged everyone. My uncle...Morgana... Every decision I've made has been wrong. Merlin: You’re being too hard on yourself. Arthur: I should be more discerning, wise...a statesman, a king! Tristan's right, there's nothing special about me. I'm just like everyone else. Merlin: You're not. You're a worthy king. Arthur: I'm good with a sword. That's all. Merlin: Your people love you. Arthur: Most of them are dad. Thanks to me. Merlin: No, most of them escaped. They'll be here in the forest, I'm sure of that. Arthur: If they are, they'll have to find themselves a new king. Arthur gets up and walks away. Merlin: Arthur... Arthur! --- Forest of Ascetir (night) Merlin runs through the forest. Merlin: O drakon,e male so ftengometta tesd’hup’anankes!* The Great Dragon meets Merlin in a clearing. Merlin: Well, thank you. You saved us all. Kilgharrah: The land of Albion and the future we have all fought for was in peril. Merlin sighs. Kilgharrah: What is troubling you, young warlock? Merlin: It's Arthur. He's lost the will to fight. He feels he's failed his people; he believes he no longer deserves to be king. Kilgharrah: The fate of Camelot rests in your hands, young warlock For you and you alone can restore the king's faith. Merlin: How? Kilgharrah: You must make him believe that he can be king once more. Merlin mulls that over. Kilgharrah: I wish I could be of more help, Merlin. Merlin: No...I know how. The people who fled Camelot, do you know where they're hiding? Kilgharrah: I am a dragon. I can cover many leagues in the blink of an eye. They shouldn't be too hard to find. Merlin: Then we have no time to lose. --- Forest of Ascetir (day) Merlin wakes Arthur. Arthur: What? Merlin: There's something I need to show you. Merlin walks off. Arthur grabs his sword and follows. Arthur: This had better be good because this really isn't the time for one of your ridiculous games. Merlin: I was thinking about last night and how you were saying how you'd given up all hope, how you were a poor leader and a shoddy king. Arthur: Shoddy? Merlin: All right, shabby. Arthur: Thanks(!) Merlin: Well, it reminded me of a tale Gaius once told me. Arthur: Merlin, I'm really not interested in your favourite bedtime stories. Merlin: For once in your life, just...listen. Arthur holds his hands up in defeat. Merlin: Many years ago, before the birth of the five kingdoms, this land was in an endless cycle of bloodshed and wr, but one man was determined to end all that. He gathered together the elders of each tribe and drew up plans for the lands to be divided. Each would respect the others' boundaries, and each would rule over the land as they saw fit. That man was Camelot's first king, ancestor to all that followed, including you, Arthur. Arthur: Bruta. Merlin: You know the story? Arthur: Yes, every child in Camelot does. Can I go back to bed now? Merlin: No. Because there's another part of the story that you haven't heard. Arthur: Really? Merlin: When Bruta was on his deathbed, he asked to be taken deep into the forest. There, with the last of his strength, he thrust his sword into a rock. If his lineage was ever questioned, this would form a test. Only a true king of Camelot could pull the wapon free. Arthur stops. Arthur: Are you making this up? Merlin: Of course not. Merlin keeps walking and Arthur can't sort out if he's lying. Arthur follows. Arthur: All right. If it's true, why haven't I heard this story? Merlin: Well, history isn't really your strong point, is it? Arthur: Then, where is this rock? Merlin: Oh, it was lost many years ago during the Great Purge, but...I've managed to find it. Arthur: I've never heard so much rubbish in my entire life. Merlin: Are you calling Gaius a liar? Arthur: No, I'm calling you an idiot. Merlin: What's that then? Arthur follows Merlin's line of sight. Arthur's stunned by the sight of the sword in the stone. They walk closer and Arthur is surprised again as a crowd of knights and peasants appear out of the forest, Sir Leon and Percival among them. Merlin smiles. Arthur glances back at him and sees Merlin's proud expression. Arthur: What the hell are you playing at? Merlin: I'm proving that you are their leader and their king. Arthur: That sword is stuck fast in solid stone! Merlin: And you're going to pull it out. Arthur: Merlin! It's impossible! Merlin: Arthur, you're the true king of Camelot. Arthur glances back at the crowd of people surrounding the sword in the stone. Arthur: Do you want me to look like a fool? Merlin: No, I'm going to make you see that Tristan's wrong; you aren't just anyone, you are special. You and you alone can draw out that sword. Arthur debates, then draws his sword and sticks it in the ground. Arthur: You’d better be right about this. Arthur approaches the stone slowly. He looks up at the crowd hesitantly, then places both hands on the hilt. He tries to pull it up, but the sword doesn't budge. Merlin: You have to believe, Arthur. Arthur shakes with the effort, but the sword doesn't move. Merlin looks at the crowd as Arthur struggles. Merlin: You're destined to be Albion's greatest king. Arthur lets go of the sword. Merlin: Nothing, not even this stone can stand in your way. Arthur looks at the sword and repositions himself. He places one hand on the sword hilt and closes his eyes. Merlin watches him. Merlin: Have faith. Arthur lifts his chin, willing himself to believe. Merlin's eyes glow and the stone released the sword. Arthur pulls it out and stares at it, amazed. Arthur's people watch in awe. Sir Leon: Long live the king! All: Long live the king! Long live the king! Long live the king! Long live the king! Long live the king! --- Castle corridors Helios: When they arrived there, the ground itself was still on fre. They'd all been slaughtered, every last one of them. Morgana: And Agravaine? Helios: dad. Morgana: There's only one person who could've done this; only one man who could command a dragon. This is the work of Emrys. --- Forest Arthur walks with Leon, Percival, Merlin, and Gwen. Arthur: What about the drawbridge? Sir Leon: Well-manned. Perceval: As are the Northern gates. Arthur: The battlements on the south side? Perceval: Arthur, even if we CAN get inside, she has an army. Arthur: And we have what? A few hundred… Perceval: And they still outnumber us. Arthur: Yeah, but only three to one. Sir Leon chuckles. Isolde: And do you think they'll fight? Sir Leon: Well, they'll fight for Arthur. Arthur: It's not me they have to fight for. It's for Camelot. Sir Leon: No, Arthur. It is you that people love, and you that they will lay down their lives for. I know that I would ride into the mouth of hell for you. Perceval: And I. Isolde looks at Tristan, who is surprised. Merlin: And I. Tristan is won over by the loyalty of Arthur's men. Arthur draws Excalibur. Arthur: Then to the mouth of hel, it is. They follow Arthur and Tristan watches Arthur in admiration. --- Forest Isolde tends to her wounded arm. Gwen passes her, carrying some blankets. Gwen sees Tristan give Isolde a bouquet of flowers. Isolde: What's this for? Tristan shrugs. Isolde catches Gwen's forlorn expression. Gwen watches Arthur sadly as Isolde approaches her. Isolde: Never give up hope. Love is stronger than anything. Gwen scoffs with a smile. Isolde: Believe me. Gwen smiles sadly at her kindness and glances back at Arthur. Merlin jogs up to Arthur. Merlin: You all right? Arthur: Yes. Merlin: Do you think there are too many of them? Arthur: The Southrons are men like you and me. Men we can fight. But Morgana... Her power is so great and we've got nothing to answer it with. Merlin: I never finished Gaius's story. Arthur: Not now, Merlin, please. Merlin: Will you just listen? Merlin puts his hands on his hips and Arthur lowers his head in acquiescence. Merlin: When the sword was thrust into the stone, the ancient king foretold that one day it would be freed again at a time when Camelot needed it most. The man who freed it would unite the land of Albion and rule over the greatest kingdom the world has ever known. That man is you, Arthur. Arthur's brow furrows and Merlin smiles. Arthur: You're making this up. Merlin: Why would I do that? Your head's already as big as your waist. I believe it, though. And I believe in you. I always have. Arthur looks at Excalibur and considers what Merlin said. --- Forest Merlin plots by a campfire. A light bulb goes on and he smiles and scrambles to his feet. --- Camelot outskirts Merlin hides as Southrons patrol outside the city. He crosses over to a tunnel grate and raises a hand to it. Merlin: Tospringe. The lock bursts and the gate swings open. --- Castle corridors Merlin:Min freondum ond min feondum. There's a flash of light and Old Merlin walks down the corridor. Morgana: We must send emissaries to Lot's kingdom. We must offer a reward for Arthur's capture… Morgana turns a corner stops in her tracks as she catches a glimpse of Old Merlin before he runs off. Morgana: It's him! It's Emrys, he's here! Helios: Guards! Helios and the Southrons pursue Old Merlin while Morgana stands there terrified. The warning bell sounds as Old Merlin sneaks around the palace. A guard steps out of an alcove behind Old Merlin and he takes out the guard with a flick of his hand without even turning to look . --- Morgana's chambers Old Merlin enchants an effigy. Old Merlin: Ontende eallne thaes drycraeftes hire awlje! The poppet's head bursts into flames and Old Merlin smiles and laughs as the spell whispers magic. --- Castle corridors Old Merlin unbuckles the belt of the Southron he knocked out. --- Castle, staircase Helios and his men run down toward the dungeons as another hooded Southron figure walks up the stairs. It's Merlin back to his young self. Morgana's chambers Helios: We’ve searched everywhere. He fled Morgana; he trembled at the sight of you. Morgana (panicked): Then why was he here? Why does he choose to taunt me like this?! Helios: We must hold our nerve. Maybe you should get some sleep. Morgana nods and walks towards the bed. Morgana: Make sure there are guards on the door. Helios nods and exits. Still unsettled, Morgana lies down. She relaxes and falls asleep, Merlin's effigy whispering magic as it hangs under the bed. --- Forest (day) Merlin stares off into space. Arthur snaps his fingers in front of Merlin's face. Arthur: Wakey-wakey! You look like you've been up half the night. Merlin: I was. Couldn't sleep. Arthur: I thought you said you had faith in me? Merlin: Whatever gave you that idea? Arthur shrugs with a smile. Later, Arthur gives orders to Leon and Percival, then sees Tristan and Isolde trying to catch his eye. Arthur approaches them. Arthur: This is where we say goodbye. Tristan : Arthur, all my life I've shied away from other people's wars, and despised the power and wealth that kings buy with the lives of men, but you've shown yourself to be different. Isolde: You've shown us that you fight for what is right and fair, and for that reason, we would like to fight at your side. Arthur is speechless in surprise. Arthur: I'd be honoured to have you at my side. Isolde nods. Arthur: We'll stand together as equals. Arthur gazes at Excalibur as Gwen approaches from behind. Gwen: Arthur. Arthur turns around. Gwen: If anything happens to us, I want you to know... Arthur: Guinevere... Gwen: I understand why you can't forgive me. But I never once stopped loving you. Never once. Gwen walks on and Arthur considers her words. --- Forest and Camelot outskirts The knights of Camelot arm themselves. Arthur stands at their front. He lifts Excalibur and swings it forward as he steps forward, signalling them to move out. Red capes file towards the castle walls. Sir Leon leads one group, they take out the sentries on the wall with crossbows and head in. Sir Percival, Tristan, and Isolde take out another set of guards on another gate and wave in more knights. Arthur fights another set of Southrons and Merlin and Gwen make sure they're dad after they roll down the hill. --- Castle, the gallery Sir Percival splits from Tristan and Isolde. --- Castle Warning bells sound as Sir Leon leads knights through the palace. Arthur charges through the palace tunnels while Leon's party charges up the Griffin staircase. Arthur takes out a guard in the Phoenix corridor, then holds his wounded ribs as he continues on. --- Morgana's chambers Helios bursts into Morgana's chambers and she gets out of bed. Helios: It seems we have company. Morgana: Emrys? Helios: Arthur. Morgana relaxes and smiles. Morgana: My dear brother... we must welcome him home. Helios smirks. Helios: Shall we? Morgana smirks and they exit. The effigy continues to whisper magic from under Morgana's bed. --- Castle corridors Tristan and Isolde hide behind columns. They jump out and attck some Southrons together. --- Council Chamber Morgana and Helios wait in the council chamber while the mercenaries file out into the corridors. Helios: It is as we expected; he is making his way here. He should be with us soon. Morgana: And we'll be waiting --- Dungeons Percival's party fights their way through the dungeons. Sir Leon leads another party, Arthur makes his way through the palace on his own. Gwaine and Elyan go to the bars as they hear the commotion from their cell. Sir Percival arrives. Gwaine: Come on, boys. What's taking you so long? Sir Leon tosses Percival the keys and he opens the cell. Percival and Elyan grasp arms. Perceval: You all right? Elyan: I've been locked up with Gwaine for a week. SirLeon supports Gwaine out of the cell while Percival goes to Gaius, who's lying weakly on the bed. Perceval: Gaius. Come on. Percival and Elyan help Gaius up. --- Council chamber corridor Arthur rounds the corner with Tristan, Isolde, Merlin, and Gwen to find five Southrons standing guard. Arthur: One each. Pick your man. On me! Arthur charges the front man, and strikes him. The mercenary stumbles towards Gwen and she knocks him out with her sword. --- Council chamber Morgana and Helios wait by the throne, listening to the fighting outside. Morgana: I'm going to enjoy this. --- Council chamber corridor Arthur's party takes out the rest of the guards. Isolde: Whatever happened to the idea of finding a bit of land and settling down? Arthur walks over toward Merlin and looks at Excalibur. Arthur: You know, this thing's not bad. Merlin: Thought you might like it. They prepare to enter the council chamber. Arthur: Ready? All: For the love of Camelot! They charge into the council chamber, but stop short when they find only Morgana lounging on the throne, Helios standing it. Morgana: Welcome, dear brother. It's been far too long. Morgana gets up and walks toward him. Morgana: I apologise if you had a difficult reception. It's hard to know who to trust these days. Morgana stops in the middle and Arthur approaches her slowly. He raises Excalibur with an open hand to show he's not attacking her, and she watches his warily until he places the sword in his belt. He meets her in the middle. Arthur (softly): What happened to you Morgana? Morgana looks him in the eye almost regretfully, the hurt plain on both their faces and in their voices. Arthur (softly): I thought we were friends Morgana (softly): As did I. Morgana's voice hardens. Morgana: But alas, we were both wrong. Arthur: You can't blame me for my father's sins. Morgana: It's a little late for that. You’ve made it perfectly clear how you feel about me and my kind. You're not as different from Uther as you'd like to think. Arthur: Nor are you. Morgana becomes angry and backs away. Morgana: I’m going to enjoy klling you, Arthur Pendragon. Not even Emrys can save you now. Arthur draws Excalibur. Morgana smirks. Morgana: Your blades cannot stop me. Merlin braces himself. Morgana: Hleap on bæc.* Nothing happens except the sound of the effigy's whispers. Morgana is confused and Arthur watches her reaction, still waiting for her attck. Morgana tries the spell again, raising her hand for strength. Morgana (scared): Hleap on bæc!* Merlin seems to be absorbing Morgana's magic with the effigy's whispers. Both Morgana and Arthur realise that her magic's not working. Arthur: Not so powerful now, my lady. Helios pulls Morgana behind him as she panics. Morgana runs off. Arthur: After her! Gwen and Merlin chase after Morgana. Southrons enter the council chamber from behind, fended off by Tristan and Isolde, while Arthur takes on Helios. Arthur clutches his wounded ribs while they fight. --- Corridors Morgana takes out some knights of Camelot with a sword as she makes her way through the corridors. Merlin follows. A knight of Camelot strikes Morgana from behind as he jumps out from behind a column. She takes him out, but not without sustaining a deadly wound in her side first. --- Council chamber Arthur struggles to fight Helios with his wounds. Helios knocks him down and disarms Arthur. Helios raises his sword for the final blow, but Isolde sab him in the back. Helios sweeps around and slices Isolde as he falls down dad. Arthur realises what happened as Isolde turns to Tristan with a tragic look on her face. She drops her sword and falls to her knees. Arthur and Tristan go to help her. --- Corridors Gwen turns a corner cautiously, still in pursuit of Morgana. Morgana rounds the corner at the other end and Gwen crouches into a fighting stance. Morgana approaches and they fight. Gwen: What did I do to make you hate me so much? Morgana: It's not what you did, it's what you're destined to do! I'm sorry, Gwen, but I can never let that happen! Morgana disarms Gwen. She steps forward to kll Gwen, but she's blown backward. Part of the ceiling collapses with the blast. The glow in Merlin's eyes dies out. Merlin approaches Gwen. Merlin: Are you all right? Gwen: Yes. Merlin steps forward to find Morgana in the rubble smoke. Gwen: What happened? The smoke clears and Morgana is gone. Merlin: I don't know. Gwen and Merlin return to the council chamber. --- Council chamber Tristan holds Isolde in his arms as she dies. Isolde: I'm sorry. Tristan: Shhh. Gwen and Merlin enter. Isolde: Our dreams... Tristan: Isolde, don't. Arthur leans against a column, eyes bloodshot as he watches them. Isolde: I wish... Tristan: I wish, too. Isolde: Hold me. Tristan puts an arm around her shoulders and she dies. He cradles her face in his hand and kisses her, then holds her body as he cries. Arthur swallows hard and looks up at Gwen. She looks up and they hold each other's gaze. --- Arthur's chambers Gwen sets a fallen chair upright in Arthur's chambers, which seems to have been trashed during the attck. Arthur enters. Gwen: It will take some time. Arthur: Merlin can take care of it. Arthur smiles and Gwen smiles back. Her smile fades as she steps forward. Gwen: If you want me to go, to return to Ealdor... Arthur: I want you to stay. Gwen waits uncertainly as Arthur steps forward. Arthur: Guinevere... Gwen: You don't have to say anything… Arthur: Whatever's happened between us... Gwen: Please, Arthur, I can't forgive myself. Arthur: I don't care. Arthur steps up in front of her and Gwen waits. Arthur: I just don’t ever want to lose you. Gwen smiles a little. Arthur considers her for a moment and then takes her hands. She waits hopefully. Arthur: Will you marry me? Gwen smiles. Gwen: Yes. Arthur begins to smile. Gwen: Yes, with all my heart. Arthur and Guinevere step into each other's arms and kiss passionately. --- Throne room The doors open to reveal Guinevere dressed in a rich, purple and gold gown, walking down the aisle between the knights and courtiers of Camelot. Guinevere kneels on the dais before Arthur. Arthur smiles down at her. A man brings the queen's crown to Arthur on a pillow and he takes it. Elyan, Gaius, and Merlin stand in the front row. Merlin is dressed in richer clothes. Gwaine and Leon stand behind them. Arthur: By the sacred laws vested in me, I crown you...Guinevere...Queen of Camelot. Arthur crowns her and she smiles up at him. Arthur takes her hands, her engagement ring on her first finger, and she steps up on the dais. They kiss wholeheartedly and Guinevere smiles as they part. Arthur holds her hand and turns them to face their subjects. Arthur: Long live the queen! All: Long live the queen! Long live the queen! Long live the queen! Long live the queen! Long live the queen! --- Forest Morgana stumbles through the forest, clutching her wounded side. She falls and goes unconscious. Wings sweep overhead and Aithusa lands next to her. Aithusa breathes healing magic on her and she wakes. She looks at the little white dragon in wonder as Aithusa watches her and then flies away. ‘MERLIN WILL RETURN’ – Closing Credits –	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "04x13 - The Sword in the Stone: Part Two"}	foreverdreaming
In a land of myth, and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name…Merlin. Inside the castle. Merlin wanders running. He enters inside the royal room. Merlin : Hello !? He enters inside Guinevere’s room. Merlin : Hello !? He enters in the council chambers. Merlin : Hello !? Castle corridor. Merlin runs. Throne room hall. Merlin runs and joins Arthur. Arthur : Well ? Merlin : I’ve searched everywhere. Arthur : Merlin, it’s not just me you’re keeping waiting. Merlin (Chocking) : How’s it my fault !? Arthur (whispering) : The Queen can’t just disappear. Merlin : Well, where is she ? Arthur : That’s was I sent you to find out ! Merlin : Do you know how big this castle is ? Arthur : Funnily enough, I do Merlin : Then perhaps, you should have a look Arthur : Merlin, look, is there anything you’re actually capable of doing ? Merlin : Putting up with you A woman clears throat. Arthur : Oh, well … Arthur and Merlin look back. Arthur : Guinevere… Guinevere : I’m sorry I’m late. Arthur : Late ? (turn back to Merlin) Not at all. Plenty of time. Arthur and Guinevere come into the Throne room. Sefa and Merlin follow them. Throne room. Arthur : Noble knights of Camelot, countrymen, friends. I welcome you to this meeting of the Round Table. For three long years we have been blessed with peace and prosperity. But now, it’s seems a shadow has been cast across our lands. Vision of a snowing place and Gwaine is walking. Arthur : Sir Gwaine set off for Ismere some six weeks ago. With him went threescore of our finest men. There has been no word from them since. Gwaine and his men look at the snowing horizon. He look back to face grumbling wolfs. Gwaine (screaming) : Run ! Gwaine runs, pursued by the wolf. The wolf finally hurts him. End of the vision. Throne room. Arthur : At my request, Sir Elyan led a search party to the wastelands of the north. He found no trace of Gwaine or his men. It is as if they have vanished from the face of the Earth. Vision of a snowing place. A wolf howls near Gwaine inconscious. Morgana comes. *Opening Credits* Snowing place. Morgana drives a sleigh pulled by wolves, transporting Gwaine. Ismere castle’s courtyard. Gwaine is taken by Morgana’s men. Ismere castle. Throne room. Ruadan : The last of the Camelot patrol. Morgana : How long before Arthur sends more ? Ruadan : Calm yourself. There’s nothing to worry about. Morgane : You’re wrong. We’re running out of time. Ruadan : Prophecies do not lie. Arthur’s bane is real. Once it is known to us, his end is nigh. Morgane : So you keep saying. Yet you cannot tell me what it is. Ruadan : The Diamair will tell us. The Diamair is the key to all knowledge. Morgane : And where is this key ? Ruadan : It is here beneath your feet. Morgane : For three month we’ve been searching and what have we found ? Nothing. Ruadan : It is but a moment compared to the eternity of knowledge. The key will bring. Morgane : If I find that you’ve lied to me… Ruadan : Patience is the stepping stone to wisdom, Morgana. Morgane : You think I don’t know that after all that I’ve been through ? For two long years I saw nothing but darkness. Patience and I are old friends. The door opens. Two knights come, supporting Gwaine. They threw him to the floor. Gwaine : Lady Morgana, we really have to stop meeting like this. A knight hurts him. Morgane : You’re not looking so pretty now, are you, Sir knight ? Gwaine : I would appear not. Morgane : Arthur should know not to send his men so far north. Gwaine : Well, get on with it, then. kll me. Morgane : I will. But first you’re going to have to help me find something. Vision of a cave and men digging. Camelot. Private council chambers. Knights, the King, the Queen and Gaius around the table. Elyan : We know Gwaine and his men crossed the pass here, at Isulfor but beyond that, there was no trace. The trail went cold. Arthur (to Elyan): What of this story that the fortress of Ismere has been occupied once more ? Elyan : I heard many rumours, sire. All of them had one name in common. Morgana. Arthur : Then we have no time to lose. Gaius : What if the rumours are true Sire ? You may be walking into a trap. Arthur : The knights of Camelot do not abandon their own. Gaius : Morgana knows that. She’ll be waiting for you. Arthur : These men have fought for me, bled for me. Guinevere : May I make a suggestion ? What if you were to take a different route ? Approach Ismere from the west. Arthur : Through Annis’s lands ? Gaius : It would certainly take Morgana by surprise. Arthur : Would Annis grant safe passage to so many armed men ? Leon : I believe she would, Sire. Arthur : Dispatch a rider immediately. We’ll follow at dawn. Remember, if we’re to succeed, no one must know of our intentions. Merlin get out of the room and ht Sefa. He drop her fruit plate. Merlin : Sorry. He helps Sefa to pick up the fruits. Sefa : It’s fine, really. I’m the one who should apologise. Merlin : What for ? Sefa : I keep getting you into trouble. Merlin : Ah. I’m used to it. Arthur : Merlin ! Merlin (to Sefa) : You should hear him when he’s really angry. Arthur : MERLIN ! Merlin : Like now. If you need help with anything, let me know. Sefa smile, Merlin proffers a fruit bowing. Sefa : Thank you. Entrance of the castle. Arthur, Merlin and the knights leave the castle. Inside the forest. Merlin (to Arthur): Do you think Gwaine and Percival are still be alive ? Arthur : I have to find out. They’re knights of the Round Table. It’s a bond we share. Merlin : I understand. Arthur : If it was you who’d disappeared, Merlin, I wouldn’t bother. Inside the cave. Percival and Gwaine are digging. Gwaine (to Percival) : Do you find the others ? Percival : Every last one. Gwaine : Do they know what we’re searching for ? Percival : Some kind of key. Gwaine : The key to what ? Percival : I don’t know. But the men say Morgana is obsessed. She won’t rest until she finds it. Gwaine : Let’s hope we won’t succeed. Setting of a plain. Arthur and his knights ridding. Arthur : The gorge marks the start of Annis’s lands. Elyan : It’s prime ambush territory. Arthur : Take some men and follow the ridge line. Arthur and his knights go on. Elyan comes. Elyan : There’s something you need to see. They arrive in a village. There are death people everywhere. They search in the rubble. Voice : Emrys ! Merlin stops. Voice : Emrys ! Merlin goes to a cave. Voice : Emrys ! Merlin arrives near a sleeping old man. He treats him when he wakes up. Merlin : What happened to you ? Who did this to your village ? Old man : That it happened at all is all that matters. I have been haunted by this moment for many years. Since long before you set foot on this Earth, Emrys, I have waited for its arrival with sorrow in my heart. For even as Camelot flowers, so the seeds of her destruction are being sown. The prophets speak of Arthur’s bane. You would do well to fear it, for it stalks him like a ghost in the night. Unless you act quickly, Emrys, even you cannot alter the never-ending circle of his fate. Merlin has a vision. A battle. Swords clash. Arthur is inside the battle. He fights with a young man. And the young man kills Arthur. Arthur : Is he alive ? What is it ? Merlin gets out of his vision, frightened. He says nothing. Arthur : Come on, Merlin. You’ve seen a dad body before. As soon as we give these people a proper burial, we’re moving out. Camp. The knights are sleeping. Merlin wakes up. Merlin : O drakon , e male so ftengometta tesd’hup’anakes ! Merlin (to the dragon) : I need to know about a Druid symbol. A black spiral. Within it, a thin yellow coil. Kilgharah: It is the mark of a Vates. A Druid seer. Where did you encounter him ? Merlin : On my journey here? He warned me of Arthur’s bane. Kilgharah: His bane ? Merlin : And then he show me a battle. A terrible battle. Arthur was fighting for his life. I saw him wounded. I saw him fall. Kilgharah: The Vateses’ power of prophecy is unrivalled. Even by a high priestess. Merlin : So, this battle will come to pass ? Kilgharah: I do not know, young warlock, but one thing is certain. This was no chance meeting. Merlin : You think I should heed his warning ? Kilgharrah: There was a time when the words of a Vates were considered a gift. Merlin : Then why do they feel like a burden ? Kilgharrah: A wise man is not cowed by knowledge, Merlin. Instead, he uses it to guide him. Merlin : How ? Kilgharrah: That is something only you can decide. But remember, the Vates singled you out for reason. Now more than ever it is you and you alone that can keep Arthur safe. Tomorrow morning. Inside the forest. Arthur and his knights ridding. Annis kingdom. Throne room. Arthur and his knight come in. Arthur : Queen Annis. Queen Annis : Arthur Pendragon. Arthur : I’m most grateful that you have allowed us safe passage through your kingdom. Queen Annis : We are allies, Arthur. And these are troubled times. Camelot. Royal room. Sefa serves meal to Guinevere. Guinevere : I can’t eat this I’m sorry. Sefa : I’ll get you something else, my lady. Guinevere : No. If you could just sit with me. Sefa sits. Guinevere : Are you hungry ? Guinevere hands her the plate. Guinevere : Eat. Please. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. Not knowing if he’ll return. Sefa : You love him. I understand. Guinevere : Do you have someone you worry about ? Sefa nods. Guinevere : But no someone you talk about. Sefa : No, my lady. There’s no greater warrior than the king. He will return. Guinevere : I know. You’re right. Thank you. Queen Annis’s castle. Diner room. Queen Annis : What you saw at Asgorath is no surprise. Some months ago, Saxons began raiding our villages. They’re rounding up all the men they can find and taking them to Ismere. Arthur : To raise an army ? Queen Annis : People say Morgana is tearing the citadel apart. Arthur : Why ? Queen Annis : She must be searching for something. I dare not think what. Arthur : Then my men may still be alive ? Queen Annis : Yes, there is every chance. I think it’s time for some entertainment. I would love to see your fool perform. Given all his failings, he must have some skills. Arthur (looking at Merlin) : You’d think so, wouldn’t you ? You heard the queen. Jump to it. Merlin : I’m not a fool. Arthur : That’s debatable. Merlin : And I don’t have any skills. Arthur : I know that. But we can refuse the queen when she’s granted us safe passage, can we? Leon take the carafe of Merlin’s hands, Arthur applauses smiling. Merlin incants a spell and he starts juggling, under the very eyes of Arthur. King Arthur’s room. Merlin look at the fre thinking. Arthur : Where did you learn to juggle like that ? Honestly, I didn’t even know you could catch. Merlin : Yes, well, I have many talents you failed to notice them that’s all. Arthur : Come on, out with it. What’s wrong ? Merlin : I’m not sure we should go to Ismere. Arthur : Did you not hear Annis ? My men are alive. Merlin : You don’t know that. Arthur : Stick to juggling Merlin. Leave the important things to me. Merlin : But… Arthur : Here. Arthur throws his boots to Merlin. Merlin doesn’t catch them. Arthur : See ? Explain that. Merlin : I wish I could. Camelot at night. Sefa gets out in the night, Guinevere looks through the window. Inside the forest. Sefa arrives in a temple. A man incants a spell : Crugon walo wide, cwoman woldagas, swylt eall fornom secgrofra wera wurdon hyra wigsteal westen stapolas, brosnade burgsteall. Hergas to hrusan. Forpon pas hofu dreorgiad, ond paes teaforgeapa tigelum sceaded. Crungon walo wide, cwoman woldagas, ond paes tigelum sceaded hrostbeages hrof. He wakes up and thrat Sefa. Sefa : It’s me ! it’s Sefa ! I didn’t mean to frighten you. Ruadan : Fear is here. (He puts a finger on his temple) No one can make you feel fear. Do you understand ? Sefa nods. Ruadan : You have something to tell me ? Sefa : Yes. Arthur has set out of Ismere. Ruadan : As I expected. Sefa : But he’s approaching from the west. Through Annis’s land. Ruadan : You’re sure ? Sefa : Certain. Ruadan : When did he leave ? Sefa : Yesterday at dawn. Shall I come with you ? Ruadan : Your disappearance will create suspicion. Sefa : What would you like me to do ? Ruadan : You have served your purpose for now. I hope they haven’t ill-treated you. Sefa : They’ve been good to me, Father. Ruadan : They are Pendragons. They are good for one thing only : death. He leaves. Tomorrow morning. Arthur and his men leave Annis’s castle. Queen Annis : Morgana has been devoured by hate. Be careful. Arthur : I will. Queen Annis : Good allies are hard to find. I’d hate to lose one. Camelot. Royal room. Guinevere : Aren’t you forgetting something ? My papers for the council ? Sefa : Of course. Guinevere : Are you alright ? Sefa : Yes. Guinevere : You don’t seems yourself today. Sefa : I’m sorry. Guinevere : Last night…I saw you leave the city. Sefa : I… Guinevere : Sefa, I may be the queen, but you don’t have to hide your secrets from me. Sefa : My lady ? Guinevere : Whoever he is, he’s lucky to have you. Sefa : Thank you, my lady. There are so many things to remember. Guinevere : I know that better than anyone. You’re doing well. Honestly. Sefa : Thank you my lady. Snowing place. Ruadan is ridding. Ismère. Throne room. Ruadan comes in. Morgane : What is it ? What’s wrong ? Ruadan : Arthur is riding for Ismere as we speak Morgane : Impossible. I’ve had sentries posted at the border for weeks. Ruadan : He’s approaching from the west. From Annis’s lands. Morgane : Why would he do that ? Ruadan : He means to surprise you. He will be on us in less than a day. Morgane : Prepare for battle. We ride tonight. Inside the forest in the night. Merlin is thinking. Arthur joins him. Arthur : Merlin. Merlin : How can they laugh and joke ? Hmm ? Don’t they know what we will face in Ismere ? Arthur : Yeah of course. But a warrior learns to enjoy each day as it comes. Merlin : Because he knows it might be his last. Arthur : Why are you so upset ? Merlin : Morgana is powerful. She’s dangerous. Arthur : I know. Merlin : And you don’t care ? Arthur : Only about my men. They’re more than friends, they’re more than brothers. No matter what lies ahead of me, I won’t abandon them, as I know they would not abandon me. Merlin : I understand. I wish I didn’t, but I do. Arthur : Come on and have some food. Ismere castle. Courtyard. Morgana leaves with her men. Tomorrow morning. Inside the forest. Arthur and his men hear a sound. Merlin : We’re surrounded. Leon : We can’t stay here. Arthur : Run ! Arthur and his men are attcked by Morgana’s army. Arthur is wounded. Merlin evacuates him in the forest. Merlin : Astige thu wyrm ! A snake frightens the horses. Arthur regains consciousness. Arthur : What happened ? Merlin : You don’t remember ? Arthur : Where are the others ? Leon ? Elyan ? Merlin : There was nothing I could do. I had to get you to safety. Arthur : What actually happened ? Merlin : The usual. I saved your neck. Arthur : You saved me ? Merlin : Yes. And I can juggle. I keep telling I have many talents. Arthur : So it would seem. Merlin : Come on. Inside the cave. Gwaine and Percival sleep on the floor. Gwaine see a light. Gwaine : Percival. Percival. Percival : What ? Gwaine : There’s something out there. Did you see that ? What was that ? Inside the forest. Merlin : Could we have a break ? Arthur : As long as it’s quick. I want to reach Ismere before dark. Merlin : Ismere ? We are heading back to Camelot ! Arthur : Navigation is not your strong point, is it ? Camelot is south. The sun rises where ? Merlin : In the east. Arthur : And what have we been walking towards all day ? Merlin : To our deaths. The two of us against Morgana, are you mad ? Arthur : I told you, I’m going to rescue my men. Merlin : No. Arthur : If you’re afraid…then go. Merlin : I’m worried about you. Arthur : Right, I’ve tried sending you home, but if you’re not going to do as I ask, the least you can do is shut up. Come on. Merlin : You know, if Morgana doesn’t kll you, I will. Arthur : thrat a king is treason, Merlin. Merlin : What about thrat an ass ? Arthur : I heard that. Camelot. Arthur’s men come alone. Council chambers. Leon : We were ambushed. Morgana and a band of Saxons attcked us as we crossed the border into Ismere. Guinevere : And what of Arthur ? Elyan : I tried to protect him. Guinevere : What are you saying ? Elyan : We lost him in the battle. We don’t know what happened to him or Merlin. Gaius : How could Morgana have known ? How could have known that Arthur was approached from that direction ? Guinevere : Someone betrayed us. Inside the forest in the night. Arthur and Merlin are sleeping. Merlin : Arthur ? Arthur : Hmm ? Merlin : I need to tell you something. The man…The old man in the village. Arthur : Just think about something else. Merlin : No, I need you to listen to me. Before he died, he tried to warn me. He told me that you were in danger and that the danger was close. Arthur : He was dying, Merlin. Who knows what he was saying ? Merlin : I think that he was a Druid seer. Arthur : You expect me to listen to a sorcerer ? Merlin : Why would he tell me that ? He had no knowledge that I even knew you. We have to turn back. Arthur : I can’t. Even if what he said were true, it makes no difference. Merlin : Arthur, without you, Camelot is nothing. All that we’ve worked so hard to create…Everything will be gone. Arthur : Look, no matter what adversity we face, we stand for what is right. To betray our beliefs, Merlin, that is what would destroy everything we’ve strived for. I swear I’m going to rescue my men. Or die trying. Merlin : Then I swear, I will protect you or die at your side. Inside the cave. Gwaine see a light again. Gwaine : It’s back. Percival : Where are you going ? Gwaine : Cover for me. Gwaine walks to the light. He heards a hiss. Guards arrest him and ht him. Tomorrow morning. Inside the forest. Arthur and Merlin wake up with the Morgana’s horses sound. They hide them. Morgane : Don’t just stand there. Find them ! I don’t care how long it takes ! Arthur : If only we had a horse. Merlin : Or a pig. Arthur : You can’t ride a pig ! Merlin : No, but we could roast it with carrots, parsnips and apples. Arthur : Merlin ! Merlin : Right, we won’t waste those apples. We’ll put them in a pie. Arthur : Stop it ! Merlin : I have to eat something. Merlin see two rabbits motionless on the road. Merlin : Rabbits ? He steps forward to take the rabbits. Arthur : Merlin ! Arthur steps forward on Merlin. They are caught in a net. Merlin : I got them ! Camelot. Council chambers. Sefa comes surrounded by two guards. Sefa : What have I done ? Guinevere : The night before Arthur set out for Ismere, there was a meeting of the king’s privy council. Did you hear what was said ? Sefa : No my lady. Guinevere : Yet you were right outside the door. Sefa : I was bringing your supper. Guinevere : Later that night, where did you go ? Sefa : Nowhere. Guinevere : Don’t make this hard on yourself. All I want is the truth. We both know you left the city through the southern gate. Look at me. Do you deny it ? Sefa : No, my lady. Guinevere : Who did you see ? You can tell me. Sefa : You wouldn’t understand. Guinevere : Who did you see ?! Sefa : My father. I saw my father. Guinevere : And you told him what you’d heard ? Sefa : He only wants what’s rightfully his. Were he a physician or a warrior, his skills would be revered. But sorcery… He deserves respect like any man. Guinevere : Respect is to be earned. I cannot be bought with blood. Your treachery cost the lives of many good men. Sefa : I didn’t mean to… Guinevere : You have admitted your guilt. You leave me no choice, Sefa. By the laws of Camelot I find you guilty of treason. Sefa : No ! Guinevere : I sentence you to death. Take her to the cells. The night. Arthur and Merlin are in the net. Arthur : If I could reach my sword, we’d be able to cut the rope. Merlin : Oh ! Don’t put your knee there. Arthur : Where ? Merlin : There ! The sword falls on the floor. Arthur: Merlin ! Merlin: That was your fault ! That was your fault ! Arthur : Great. Just great. Merlin : Where did the other rabbits go ? The cave. Gwaine is unconsciousness. A creature steps forward on Gwaine. The creature : Ic the thurhhaele thinu licsar ! Ic the thurhhaele thinu licsar Tomorrow morning. Arthur and Merlin are sleeping when the net falls on the floor. Long hair man : I’m sorry. Did we wake you ? Arthur stands up and wants to take his sword. Long hair man : Not so fast. He takes Arthur’s sword. Long hair man: The king of Camelot. You will fetch a handsome price. Alive… or dad. Any last requests ? Arthur : Let my servant go. He doesn’t deserve to die like this. Merlin : If you’re going to kll him, you’ll have to kll me first. Arthur : Merlin, step aside. Merlin : You know I never do as I’m told. Brown hair man : Stop ! Merlin looks back. The men steps forward. Merlin recognizes the men of his vision. Brown hair man : Shouldn’t we leave it to the Lady Morgana to decide their fate ? The man with long hair leaves the place. The black hair man helps Arthur to stand up. Brown hair man : You don’t remember me, do you ? You saved my life once, many years ago. Merlin : Mordred. Arthur and Mordred look back on Merlin. And Mordred look at Arthur. Mordred : Hello Arthur.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x01 - Arthur's Bane - Part One"}	foreverdreaming
In a land of myth, and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name … Merlin. Precedingly on Merlin… *Opening Credits* Ismere Castle in the night. Morgana is sleeping. She does a nightmare, she is enchained with Aithusa in a well. Somebody open the door. Aithusa is growling. Morgana wakes up. Morgana : Aithusa ? Come. Come in. We’re safe. No harm can come to us now. Our troubles are all in the past. I promise. The white dragon comes into Morgana’s room and put his head on the bed. Morgana : Soon we’ll have the Diamair. Soon we’ll know Arthur’s bane. Camelot will be ours. Snowing place. Arthur and Merlin are prisoners from Ragnor. They walk behind him enchained. Arthur : Remind me, Merlin, how did we end up like this ? Oh yes, you were thinking about your stomach, as usual. I told you it was a trap. Merlin : I told you to go back to Camelot. Arthur : Merlin ! Ragnor : Hold ! Merlin : We can’t let them hand us over to Morgana. We need to get out of there, we need a plan. Ragnor down from his horse and sh*t Arthur in the stomach. Ragnor : You speak when you’re spoken to. (he comes back to his horse) Faster. Camelot courtyard. Gaius comes into Sefa’s dungeon. Gaius : Here. Drink this. Sefa : No. Gaius : It will make it easier to bear. Sefa : No, Gaius. You have to help me. Please speak to the queen. Gaius : It will do no good. Sefa : Then let me. Please it’s all I ask. Allow me to meet with her. Gaius : I’m just a physician. Sefa : But she listens to you. She trusts you. Please, all I want is to talk with her. If you don’t help me Gaius…Please don’t let me die. Please. Gaius nods. He leaves. The night outside in the snow. The convoy of prisoner sleeps. Merlin stares at Mordred. Ragnor : What are you gwaping at ? (He takes bread and he gets up) Is this what you want ? (he sends the bread away from Merlin) Catch (laughs) Mordred : Maybe we should feed them. Ragnor : What for ? Mordred : They’ll be skin and bones. Ragnor : Morgana wants slaves, not hogs for the fre. Mordred : Then slow the pace. Ragnor : The quicker we get there, the quicker I get my money. Mordred look at Merlin. The creature looks Gwaine sleep when he hears a noise. He goes to hide. Gards approaching. Creature : sceadu hine wreoth. Gwaine is hidding. Tomorrow morning. The prisoner convoy wakes up. Mordred moves toward to Merlin. He gives him bread. Mordred : Do you want them ? Merlin : Why are you doing this ? Mordred : He once saved my life. I owe him a debt. Don’t be so quick to judge me. You fear me, Emrys, don’t you? I know the hatred and suspicion with which men treat those with magic. You and I are not so different. I, too, have learned to hide my gifts. I promise. You secret is safe with me. Merlin : What’s Morgana looking for in Ismere ? Mordred : The Diamair. Merlin : What’s that ? Mordred : In the language of my people it means “the key”. Merlin : The key to what ? Mordred : The key to all knowledge. Ismere Castle. Throne room. Morgana comes. Morgana : There is still no sign of the Diamair. We’re running out of time ! Ruadan : Have faith Morgana. Morgana : Arthur could be on us in days. Ruadan : Or he could be dad. Morgana : No. He escaped. I’m sure of it. Ruadan : Then he would be in Camelot by now. Morgana : You must speak to your spy and discover what Arthur intends to do next ! Ruadan : My lady, Sefa has been arrested. She is sentenced to die. Morgana : That is cruel indeed. You must remember there is no greater glory than giving your life for a cause that is right. Ruadan : She has proved herself to be a worthy daughter. Morgana : It will not be forgotten. I will double the patrol on the border. We will be ready for when Arthur returns. There is nothing more you can do for Sefa. You must make sure her sacrifice was not in vain. Snowing place. Merlin and Arthur are enchains. Arthur fall on his knees. Merlin : Whoa ! Stop ! The convoy stops. Merlin : He needs water. Ragnor moves toward to Arthur. Ragnor : Get up. He kicks Arthur. He helps him to get up and force to face him. Ragnor : Not so much of the great warrior now, are you ? (Chuckles) Merlin : Here. I’ll help him. Ragnor go away. Arthur gets up and gives a wink to Merlin. Arthur takes Ragnor’s Knfe. Counsil chamber. Sefa (to the queen) : My Lady. Gueneviere : Sefa. You asked to see me. Sefa : I’m sorry for what I did. Ir was wrong, I know. It was without thinking. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I wouldn’t. All I wanted was to help my father. And now I’m condemned to death. Gueneviere : You understand the law, Sefa. I cannot change it. Sefa : Please. I know you have a good heart. A reprieve. I’m begging you. Gueneviere : Men have died. Sefa : I know. I’m sorry. I…I’m so sorry. I did it for my father. It was the only thing he wanted from me. I told him I couldn’t, but … I don’t know. He… I wanted to make him happy. To please him. Gueneviere : He used you. Sefa : I know. My Lady, I don’t want to die. Gueneviere : There’s nothing I can do, Sefa. The sentence stands. Sefa : My Lady. Guards drives Sefa to the dungeons. Gueneviere (to Gaius) : Where is it that I need to sign ? Gaius : Perhaps you should reconsider. The sentence is a harsh one. Gueneviere : The law is clear. Gaius : Sefa was naïve and foolish, but she doesn’t deserve to die. Gueneviere : And she won’t, Gaius. I have no intention of executing her. My aim is to catch her father. He is the thrat of Camelot not the girl. I’m hopping her plight will lure him here. Gaius : Why did you not tell me this ? Gueneviere : Her predicament must remain genuine. If Ruadan has one spy in Camelot, he may have others. And if he has any inkling of this, he will not come. Gaius : It’s a dangerous game you’re playing my lady. Gueneviere : Wars cannot be won without taking risks, Gaius. Gaius : The execution is set. What happens if Ruadan doesn’t appear ? Gueneviere : Sefa is his daughter. I have to believe that he will. Snowing place. Arthur cut his ties and dropping the goods. Ragnor : Who did this ? WHO ! Arthur glance at Merlin. Merlin : We need to rest. Ragnor dismount from his horse. Ragnor : Right. You can rest. Forever ! He unsheathes his sword. Arthur begin to fight with him. Merlin : Ga on wuda ! Merlin and Arthur leaves. They stop in front of a precipice. Merlin : You’ve got to be joking. Arthur : Do you have a better solution ? Arthur jump across. Arthur : We haven’t got all day Merlin ! Merlin jump accross. Merlin : I’ll make sure they can’t get across. Arthur : Merlin ! Merlin breaks the edge of the ice precipice. Merlin : Feall ! The edge is broken and stop Mordred. Arthur arms his wapon on Mordred. They looks at each other and Arthur put the wapon down. Mordred leaves. Merlin : Why did you spare his life ? Arthur : He couldn’t come after us. Merlin : He was leading us to our deaths ! Arthur : He showed us kindness. Merlin : You should have klled him ! Arthur : What’s wrong with you ? Merlin : You had the chance. Arthur : We escape, didn’t we ? Merlin : Next time we might not be so lucky. Arthur : I love your optimism. Come on. We need to keep moving. Cavern. Gwaine wakes up and see the creature. He’s afraid. Creature : You have nothing to fear. You wounds are not yet healed. Gwaine : You. You saved me. Thank you. Creature : I know that you are worthy of my help. Gwaine : I don’t understand. Creature : You think kindness is the preserve of humans ? Gwaine : I’ve never seen a creature like you before. Creature : No. Gwaine : Who are you ? Creature : I have been called many things by the children of men. I am the last of my kind. Once, we were revered by all. But those days are long gone. For hundreds of years, we were shunned and hunted till I found myself alone. And now, even this large refuge is safe no more. You are weak, fair knight. You must rest and heal yourself. Gwaine sleep again. In the forest by night. Ruadan appears and go to the Camelot. He comes inside the castle, broke a window and come in. A knight see him and stop. Knight : Reveal yourself. Ruadan kll the knight. He comes inside the dungeon. Ruadan : Onluce the. Dungeon’s door is opening. Ruadan (to Sefa) : Come on. Gueneviere is in her bedroom whereas the bell is ringing. Knight Leon comes. Gueneviere : Is it Ruadan ? Leon : Almost certainly. Ruadan arrives at the exit door. Ruadan : Onluce the. The door is opening. Elyan see them escaped. Elyan : There ! Give yourselves up. There’s no escape. A battle begin. Ruadan is wounded. Sefa : Father ! Ruadan : Bael onbryne ! A fre begin and Ruadan escaped with Sefa. Inside the forest. Ruadan : I need water. Sefa bring him water. Sefa : Father. Ruadan : The fight must continue. Sefa : You must cure yourself. Ruadan : I do not have such powers. Sefa : Try. Please. Ruadan writes something on a paper. Ruadan : Cum-eh mech. Href-n-wan ! A raven comes. Ruadan (to Sefa) : Attach this to the bird. Sefa does this. Ruadan : You’ve done very well. You should be proud. Sefa… Sefa : You can’t leave me. Ruadan : You must be strong. Sefa : Father please. Ruadan : I will always love you. Ruadan die. Sefa escapes. The raven arrives at Morgana. Ruadan (on the paper) : I bring bad tidings. Arthur did not return to Camelot. He makes his way to Ismere. But you must not despair, Morgana. Soon you will have the Diamair and Arthur’s bane will be in your grasp. Soon, the Pendragons Will be no more. In the snow. Arthur : You know what they say, Merlin. Appearances can be deceiving. Merlin : Not in this case. They look at the Ismere castle. Gaius’s room. He examines Ruadan’s body. Gaius finds a paper inside a locket. Gueneviere (to Gaius) : What is it ? Gaius : I believe it’s a prayer. Gueneviere : Can you read it ? Gaius ? Gaius : I’m no expert in the Druidic runes. Gueneviere : Please I know you too well. Gaius : It’s call for victory over the enemies of the Old Religion. Gueneviere : I thought the Druids were a peaceful people. Gaius : For the most part there are. But for some, the Great Purge changed that. They blame Uther for their suffering. Gueneviere : But he’s long been dad. Gaius : Some believe that Arthur’s not different from his father. Sorcery is still outlawed. For them, little has changed. Gueneviere : So Ruadan believed it was his sacred duty to fight my husband. Gaius : More than that. There are those who believe Arthur is destined to die by a Druid’s hand. Perhaps Ruadan thought he was this man. Gueneviere : Well, then he was mistaken. Oustide. Mordred and the convoy arrives to Ismere. Merlin et Arthur are spying. Merlin : I told you, you should have klled him when you had the chance. We’ll never make it in there. Arthur : There is always a way, Merlin. Merlin et Arthur are in the sewer. Merlin : How did you talk me into this ? Arthur : Genius Merlin. Merlin progress inside the sewer and a pile of junk falls in front of him. He look back to Arthur. Merlin : Genius ? Arthur : You’ve got a bit of, erm… carrot in your hair. At least I hope it’s carrot. Arthur : Ready ? Merlin : For what ? Arthur : Our carriage awaits. In the cavern. Slaves are working. Arthur and Merlin get out from a trolley. Merlin : It’s crawling with Saxons. Arthur : Make sure we blend in. Merlin : Arthur ! Ismere’s courtyard. Ragnor : Let the Lady Morgana see for herself. Morgana look outside the window and recognize Mordred. Ragnor : I’ll get twice that in the market in Asgorath. She comes out and move foward Mordred. Ragnor : My lady. I am grateful for this opportunity. I have brought you eight of the finest… Morgana look at him badly and he shuts up. Morgana : Mordred. Mordred smile at her. The cavern. Arthur founds Perceval. Percival : Arthur. Arthur : Didn’t think we’d just leave you here ? Where are the others ? Percival : They’re…scattered around. Arthur : Gwaine ? Percival : I saw him a couple of days ago but… Arthur put a sword inside Percival’s trolley. Arthur : See if you can use it to find some more. Merlin : Arthur. Arthur : Do what you can to free the others. We’ll find Gwaine. Arthur and Merlin look after Gwaine. Percival push the trolley. He whistles after the guard. The guard approaches. Percival : In there. He comes over and Percival knocks him. Ismere’s castle. Modred is eating with Morgana. Morgana : I feared you were dad. It’s dangerous for those of us with magic. Mordred : It’s not been easy. Morgana : For any of us. Mordred : Sorcery frightens people. Even some of those who claim to support it. Morgana : You see a lot. Mordred : I’ve learned to. I had to. If I was not to be brned at the stake or exploited for another man’s gain. Morgana : Attitudes will change soon. The Old Religion will reign once more. There’ll be nothing to fear once Arthur and his kind are cleansed from the Earth. Mordred : You know, we had Arthur in our grasp. He escaped. Morgana : Who let him go ? Mordred : He go away. Morgana : How ? Who let him go ? Mordred : He was an accident. Morgana : kll him ! That’s all they had to do. I am a high priestess, I have the power of the heavens in my hand and yet he continues to defy me ! Mordred : Calm yourself. Morgana : I want his annihilation, Mordred. I want to put his head on a spike and watch as the crows feast on his eyes. The bell rings. Morgana : Arthur. In the cavern. The creature wakes up Gwaine. Creature : You must wake. Gwaine : What is that ? Creature : The warning bell. Gwaine : Where are they coming from ? Don’t worry. No one’s going to harm you. He launched an attck but is stopped by Arthur. Arthur : Trust you not to be doing any work. Gwaine : It’s about time. Merlin approaches the creature. Gwaine : There’s friends. Good friends. Merlin looks and creature goes. Arthur : What was that ? Gwaine : I’m not exactly sure. But I owe it my life. Percival and the knights attacking guards in the cave. Merlin : Something’s wrong. The Saxons. Where have they all gone ? Arthur : First, there are too many, now there aren’t enough. Are you ever happy ? Merlin hears grunting away. Merlin : What was that ? Arthur : What ? The wind begins to blow. Merlin : Feel the wind. A growl is heard. Gwaine : That wasn’t the wind. Aithusa appears and chases them. They escape. Gwaine : Was that what I think i twas ? Arthur : Where did Morgana get a dragon from ? Merlin : I have no idea. Get Gwaine back to Percival. I’ll lure the dragon the other way. Arthur : Merlin, I’ve always known you were stupid, but not that stupid. Merlin : I really am that stupid. If you don’t believe me, watch. Arthur : Merlin ! Merlin leaves. Arthur : I’m going after him. Merlin finds the dragon hissing. Merlin approaches. Merlin : Aithusa. Aithusa attcks him breathing fre. Merlin : Nün de ge dei s’eikein kai amois epe’essin hespethal. Aithusa calms. Merlin : What happened ? Who did this to you ? I won’t harm you. The dragon growls. Merlin : What does that mean ? You can’t speak. Arthur : Merlin ? Merlin : Go. Aithusa growls. Merlin : Ithi ! Aithusa leaves. Arthur : Merlin ? Merlin ? Morgana appears. Morgana : How good of you to save me the trouble of finding you. Arthur tries to take his sword. Morgana : Oh, dear. How remiss of you. You bravery is matched only by your stupidity. What on earth dis you think you would achieve by coming here ? Arthur : I’m here to free my men. Morgana : Fleoge seax forth ! She send a Knfe to Arthur and wounds him. Morgana : This time, it seems there really is no way out. Arthur : I’m sorry about what our father did to you. Morgana : Uther was never my father. Arthur : We are brother and sister. Morgana : Funny how you choose to remember that with my dagger at your back. Arthur : What happened to you, Morgana ? As a child, you were so kind. So compassionate. Morgana : I grew up. She wounds him a second time. Morgana : You’re right to cover before my hand. I am more powerful than you could ever imagine. Arthur : And yet with all that, you choose to do nothing but hate. Morgana : Uther taught me well. Goodbye Arthur Pendragon. Merlin : Arthur ! Morgana sees Merlin and thrown into the air. He knocks in falling. Arthur : Morgana. Mordred walks behind Morgana. Arthur : Please. Morgana knocks Arthur. Morgana : Don’t speak dear brother. Merlin is ready to make magic. Morgana : I’s too late. Hine fordo ! Morgana gasps. Mordred sab Morgana. Morgana : Mordred ? Mordred helps Arthur to get up. Merlin is still on the ground. Gwaine, Percival and the others found Arthur and Mordred. Percival : Arthur. The creature approached Merlin. Creature : Ic the thurhaele thinu licsar. Merlin wakes up. Creature : Emrys. Lie still. Much blood has been shed this day. All all for something, few wise men would ever want. Merlin : You mean the Diamair. Morgana never found it. Creature : And she never will. Merlin : Because it is you. You are the key to all knowledge. There are times when I feel the weight of my destiny crushing me, but that’s nothing to what you carry. Creature : It is both a blessing and a curse. Is there anything you wish to ask me ? Merlin : No. I don’t think it would be good. Creature : You are wise Emrys. Your wisdom will live long in the minds of men. Merlin : Wait. There is one question. If Mordred is not Arthur’s bane, then who is ? Creature : Himself. Camelot. Throne room. Arthur : Arise Sir Mordred, knight of Camelot. Everybody applause. Mordred comes out of the throne room. Merlin : Here. Let me help you with that. Mordred : Thank you. Merlin : You know, if Arthur knew you had magic, things would be very different. Tell me something. Mordred : Of course. Merlin : You saved Arthur’s life. Why ? Mordred : Because Arthur is right. The love that binds us is more important than the power we wield. Morgana had forgotten that. Merlin leaves. Gaius’s room. Gaius : It’s been a big day. You must be tired. Too tired for pudding. Merlin : Is there pudding ? Is that my favourite ? Gaius : So, are you going to tell me what’s troubling you ? Merlin : Mordred. Gaius : People change. Perhaps you should give him the benefit of the doubt. Merlin : Remember what the dragon said ? Arthur would meet his end at the hands of a Druid. Gaius : You still believe that’s him. Merlin : I feel that the die is cast. And that for good or ill, Albion’s great trial has g*n. Snowing place, Morgana wanders injured.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x02 - Arthur's Bane - Part Two"}	foreverdreaming
KILGHARRAH In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name: Merlin. MERLIN: You're still angry with me, aren't you? ARTHUR: We spend the entire day hunting, catch nothing, because every time we got anywhere near anything you sneezed and frightened it away. MERLIN: Not the last time. ARTHUR: No, that time you fell into a stream. No-one could accuse you of being predictable, Merlin. MERLIN: I think I'm getting a cold. ARTHUR: Let's hope it's a bad one. (Women screaming in the distance) ARTHUR: What was that? MERLIN: I think it was a bird. (Women screams again) MERLIN: That? That was definitely a woman screaming. Why couldn't it have just been a bird? It's never just a bird. (Merlin runs closer) ARTHUR: What are you doing? MERLIN: I assume you want to risk our lives and see what's going on. ARTHUR: I never thought I'd say this, Merlin, but you're learning. (They walk up to the towns people) ARTHUR: Let the woman go. TOWNCHIEF: This woman has been sentenced to death. It does not concern you. ARTHUR: I am Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot, and your village is in my lands. TOWNCHIEF: Her sorcery has brought sickness and suffering to this village. ARTHUR: Did she receive a fair trial? TOWNCHIEF: Your father would have shown her no mercy. ARTHUR: I am not my father. Now cut her down. TOWNCHIEF: I will not endanger the lives of all who live here. (Arthur puts his sword to the Town chief's chest) ARTHUR: I said... cut her down. (It shows Merlin and Arthur later in the forest with the old lady, Valdis. Merlin is shown trying to heal her) ARTHUR: Is there anything more you can do for her? MERLIN: She won't make it through the night. ARTHUR: Make her as comfortable as possible. VALDIS: Thank you. ARTHUR: You should try and get some rest. VALDIS: My time has come. When you have lived as long as I, you no longer fear the journey to the next world. I have a gift for you. You showed kindness, and compassion. Those are the qualities of a true king. (She gives Arthur something that is covered in a cloth) VALDIS: Open it. (Arthur opens it and finds a horn) ARTHUR: It's beautiful. VALDIS: It has the power to summon the spirits of the dad. (Valdis dies. It shows Gaius in his chambers inspecting the horn) GAIUS: The Horn of Cathbhadh. When Uther attcked the Isle of the Blessed, the Horn of Cathbhadh was smuggled to safety before the temple fell. It hasn't been heard of since. ARTHUR: The old woman said it could be used to open the door to the spirit world? GAIUS: I have seen it with my own eyes. Long before the time of the Great Purge, I took part in such ceremonies. Each year at Beltain, the High Priestesses would gather at the Great Stones of Nemeton and summon the spirits of their ancestors. It holds powerful magic. You must keep it safe. (Shows the knights, Arthur, and Gwen at the dining hall. Elyan notices Mordred watching Arthur) ELYAN: He's always like this at the anniversary of his coronation. MORDRED: I thought it was a cause for celebration? ELYAN: It is, but it's also the anniversary of Uther's death. (Arthur is in his room fiddling with the horn. Merlin knocks on the door and Arthur grabs a bowl to cover the horn, spilling fruit all over the floor.) MERLIN: What are you doing? (Goes to pick up the fruit) ARTHUR: Nothing... Thinking. MERLIN: You, thinking? Well, now I'm really getting worried. ARTHUR: Shut up. (Merlin starts to pick up the bowl) ARTHUR: Leave it! MERLIN: Why? ARTHUR: Because I'm telling you to and I'm the King of Camelot, not that that seems to mean anything to you. Ready the horses and gather some supplies. MERLIN: Where are we going? ARTHUR: You don't need to know. Do not breathe a word of this to anyone. Not even Guinevere. (Arthur holds a spoon up to Merlin's face) MERLIN: You're thrat me with a spoon? (A smack is heard) Ow! (Later) I'm getting a very bad feeling about this place. ARTHUR: That is because you're a coward. MERLIN: No. It's because I value my life and I don't want to die horribly. ARTHUR: Fair point. MERLIN: So, are we going to turn back? ARTHUR: No. MERLIN: What are they? ARTHUR: The Great Stones of Nemeton. MERLIN: You're going to use it? ARTHUR: This will be the only chance I have to see my father again. I can't let it pass. MERLIN: This is powerful magic. ARTHUR: My father was taken from me before his time. Now there isn't a day that passes when I don't think of the things I wish I'd said to him. If you were given the same chance to see your father, talk to him. Wouldn't you do the same? Father. UTHER: Arthur. ARTHUR: I thought I would never see you again. There isn't a day that passes when I don't think of you. UTHER: And I, you. ARTHUR: There are times when I feel so alone, I wish more than anything that you were by my side. UTHER: If I were at your side, I fear you would not like all that I have to say. ARTHUR: What do you mean? UTHER: Many of the decisions you have made since you have become King go against all that I taught you. ARTHUR: I have done what I have believed to be right. UTHER: You have ignored our tradition, our ancient laws. You have allowed common men to become knights. ARTHUR: They are some of the finest knights that Camelot's ever known. They would gladly give their lives for the kingdom. UTHER: They question your decisions. They make you look weak. ARTHUR: Listening to others is a sign of strength, not weakness. UTHER: How do you expect anyone to fear a King who does not know his own mind? ARTHUR: I don't want my people to respect me because they fear me. UTHER: Then they will not respect you at all. Your marriage should have served to form an alliance with another kingdom and you choose to marry a serving girl. ARTHUR: I married for love. I love Guinevere. More than... I can express. UTHER: There are some things that are more important than love. It is your duty to strengthen and protect the kingdom. You have failed. ARTHUR: I have always strived to make you proud. UTHER: How can I be proud of a son who ignores everything that I taught him? Who is destroying my legacy? ARTHUR: I have brought peace to the kingdom... UTHER: At what price? The peace cannot last. If you are not strong, the kingdom will fall. You must go now. ARTHUR: I need more time. There is still so much I wish to say. UTHER: If you stay, you will be forever trapped in the world of the dad. You must go now. Go. ARTHUR: This can't be the last time I will ever see you. UTHER: Think about everything that I have said to you. It isn't too late. Now go. I will always love you, Arthur. (Arthur turns to look back for a brief second) MERLIN: Arthur? Do you want to talk about it? What happened at the stones? ARTHUR: It seems my father doesn't approve of the way I have chosen to rule his kingdom. MERLIN: You mean your kingdom. ARTHUR: The things he said about the knights, about marrying Guinevere. What if he's right? What if I have weakened Camelot? MERLIN: Do you really believe that? You have always done what you believed to be right. People respect you. ARTHUR: Thank you, Merlin. MERLIN: Some people still think you're a foolish, arrogant ass. ARTHUR: Who? Very funny. We should get some sleep. LEON: We covered the area from Pawlett down to Meldreth. This includes 30 troops at Bawtry. 15 at Talan. Ten at Chime. Nine at Brune. 11 at Burwelle... (Candelabra falls on the Round Table) ARTHUR: I want the table repaired before the next council meeting. Are you listening to me, Merlin? MERLIN: What? Sorry. I was just thinking about what happened. ARTHUR: Did you get a terrible fright? MERLIN: Yes. My heart nearly jumped out through my mouth. ARTHUR: Oh, well maybe you should have the rest of the day off and put your feet up? MERLIN: Really? You were joking? ARTHUR: There really is no limit to your intelligence, is there, Merlin? GWAINE: Why does it always take you twice as long to change out of your armour? PERCIVAL: Because I'm twice the size of you, little man. GWAINE: Then why is it that your brain is so small? PERCIVAL: Hello? Is someone there? Show yourself. GAIUS: The axe must have fallen off the rack. I'm surprised that a falling axe would cause such a deep wound. PERCIVAL: Not as surprised as I was. GAIUS: Quite. You were lucky you weren't more severely injured. PERCIVAL: It's strange... MERLIN: What's that? PERCIVAL: Just before it happened. I sensed something, like there was someone there, watching me. I'm sure it was just my mind playing tricks on me. GAIUS: Apply a second poultice in the morning. And no training. PERCIVAL: Thank you, Gaius. GAIUS: Is there something wrong, Merlin? Merlin, I get the distinct impression there is something you're not telling me. MERLIN: No. Why would you say that? GAIUS: Because there usually is. MERLIN: We went to the Stones of Nemeton. GAIUS: Merlin, I warned you of the dangers... MERLIN: I tried to stop him. He was insistent. GAIUS: What is it, Merlin? MERLIN: After the candelabra fell, I was in the corridor outside the Council Chambers. I could sense something. It was like Percival said, a presence of some kind. GAIUS: In the days of the Old Religion, the priestesses trained for years before entering into the spirit world. It was fraught with dangers. There was one thing they were schooled never to do. As the veil closed, they were never to look back at the spirit. MERLIN: What happened if they did? GAIUS: They'd release the spirit into this world. MERLIN: Arthur must have looked back. ARTHUR: What? MERLIN: At the Stones of Nemeton, I think that you may have released your father's spirit. ARTHUR: And what makes you think that? MERLIN: Did you look back? As the veil closed, did you look back at your father? ARTHUR: I may have glanced round for a second. MERLIN: In that second, you unleashed Uther's spirit. All these strange things that have been happening? The candelabra falling onto the Round Table. ARTHUR: Yes, because the chain broke. MERLIN: The axe falling on Percival. ARTHUR: It was an accident. MERLIN: Was it? ARTHUR: Do you really expect me to believe that my father's spirit is responsible for these things? MERLIN: The Round Table represents everything that's changed since you became King. You told me how Uther disapproved. He's angry with you and that makes him dangerous. ARTHUR: I know my father. He wouldn't do these things. MERLIN: I think he'd do anything to protect his legacy. Who knows what he's capable of? ARTHUR: Enough! That's enough. Leave me. Go! GWEN: Is someone there? MERLIN: Gwen! Gwen! You know this was Uther. ARTHUR: We don't know what happened. MERLIN: So Gwen just mysteriously ended up locked in the kitchens, which just mysteriously caught fre. You said yourself Uther disapproved of you marrying Gwen. ARTHUR: He wouldn't do this. MERLIN: I know how hard this is for you. ARTHUR: Gaius, how is she? GAIUS: Smoke has entered her lungs, but with time she will heal. I have given her a sleeping draught. She was lucky to escape with her life. ARTHUR: I've always known my father could be cruel, but why would he do this to Guinevere? He knows how much I love her. Gaius. What do you know about ghosts? GAIUS: We must force Uther's spirit to return to the other world before he does any more harm.We must use The Horn of Cathbhadh to reopen the veil between the worlds. But we must remember one thing...only the person who summoned the spirit can force it from this world. MERLIN: Sorry. ARTHUR: You're fortunate I'm not easily frightened. MERLIN: Really? Because it looked like you jumped out of your skin. ARTHUR: That's because you're a clumsy oaf. Now pick that lot up. Where is Gaius? How long does it take to make a potion? MERLIN: These things take time if they're to be done properly. ARTHUR: What is it? MERLIN: I heard something behind the door. ARTHUR: You're imagining things, Merlin. MERLIN: What do we do? ARTHUR: There's your ghost, Merlin. GAIUS: The potion will allow you to see Uther in his spirit form. Once you are in his presence, you must blow the horn. It is the only way you can force him to go back to the spirit world. ARTHUR: Is it safe? GAIUS: I can't say I'm entirely sure. MERLIN: What are you waiting for? ARTHUR: To see if it's safe. MERLIN: So, if I don't die, you'll take yours? ARTHUR: Precisely. Get on with it. Well, at least we know it doesn't kll you instantly. Eurgh! That... That is the foulest thing I've ever tasted. MERLIN: Sorry. Did I forget to tell you about that part? There! ARTHUR: Where? MERLIN: Oh, it's just our shadows. (Arthur smacks Merlin) Ow! LEON: Arthur. Merlin. ARTHUR and MERLIN: Leon. LEON: Is everything all right, my Lord? ARTHUR: It's perfectly fine. We are... Merlin. Tell Leon what we're doing. MERLIN: We're... I'm teaching him some poetry. LEON: Poetry? ARTHUR: I...love poetry. MERLIN: I was as surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it. LEON: I'll leave you to your poetry, then, my Lord. ARTHUR: Poetry? That's the best you could come up with? MERLIN: What did you want me to say? ARTHUR: I don't know. Something that didn't make me sound like a love struck girl. MERLIN: What was that? ARTHUR: It was my father. I never thought the day would come when I would be hunting my own father. When I became King, more than anything, I wanted to make him proud. What is it? MERLIN: You've always done what you believed to be right even if you knew your father would disapprove of it. Do you not see how different you are to him? Camelot is a better place since you became King. ARTHUR: My father clearly doesn't think so. MERLIN: The people believe in you, Arthur. It counts for nothing if you don't believe in yourself. ARTHUR: Check the storeroom. MERLIN: Arthur! ARTHUR: Merlin? Merlin, is that you? Father? I know it's you, Father. Why are you doing this? UTHER: I did not spend my entire life building this kingdom to see my own son destroy it. ARTHUR: You tried to kll Guinevere. UTHER: For your own good. How can a serving girl understand what it means to be Queen? ARTHUR: Guinevere is wise, and strong, and I trust her more than anyone. UTHER: And that is your weakness. You put too much trust in other people. You, and you alone must rule Camelot. ARTHUR: I would rather not rule at all, than rule alone. UTHER: Your whole life, I tried to prepare you for the day you would become King. Did you learn nothing? ARTHUR: I watched you rule, and I learnt that if you trust no-one, you will always live in fear. Your hatred came from fear, not strength. UTHER: How dare you! ARTHUR: I loved, and respected you. But I have to rule the Kingdom in my own way. I have to do what I believe to be right. UTHER: I will not allow you destroy all that I built. ARTHUR: Then you will have to kll me. I am not you, Father. I can't rule the way you did. UTHER: Camelot must come before all else. Even you. MERLIN: Get away from him, Uther! You've caused enough harm. You don't belong here. You must return to the other world. UTHER: This is MY kingdom! You think you can drive me from it? You are nothing but a serving boy! MERLIN: I am much more than that. UTHER: You have magic? MERLIN: I was born with it!! UTHER: I made you Arthur's servant. You are a sorcerer? MERLIN: Even while you were King, there was magic at the heart of Camelot. UTHER: I will not allow you and your kind to poison my Kingdom. MERLIN: You're wrong. You're wrong. About so much. Arthur is a better, and more worthy King than you ever were. UTHER: No! MERLIN: Bael onbryne! UTHER: It will give me great pleasure klling you. ARTHUR: Father! UTHER: Arthur! No! Please. Whatever I have done, I have done for Camelot. ARTHUR: You've had your turn. Now it's mine. UTHER: Merlin has... ARTHUR: I always looked up to my father. I admired and respected him more than anyone. I have to accept that I can't please him, and be true to myself. MERLIN: Uther did what he thought he had to do to protect the Kingdom. That doesn't mean he was right. ARTHUR: I want to build a kingdom that is fair and just. One where everyone is respected, regardless of rank. MERLIN: Does that include me? ARTHUR: Of course. MERLIN: So, does that mean you're not going to ht me anymore? ARTHUR: When do I ever h*t you? MERLIN: All the time. ARTHUR: That's not hitting, Merlin. That's merely friendly slaps. It's horseplay. MERLIN: So, can I give you a friendly slap? ARTHUR: You can certainly try. What the hell was that? MERLIN: It was, um...horseplay. ARTHUR: No, Merlin, you're doing it all wrong. Why don't I show you?	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x03 - The Death Song of Uther Pendragon"}	foreverdreaming
KILGARRAH: In a land of myth, and a time of magic. The destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name: Merlin. --- [Arthur, Gwen and Merlin are going for a picnic.] ARTHUR: This is nice isn't it? Just the two of us. GWEN: Well, three of us. ARTHUR: Merlin? Merlin doesn't count. MERLIN: I don't count? Not here. Not actually speaking right now. ARTHUR: Aren't you impressed that I remembered our anniversary? GWEN: But you didn't remember. I reminded you over a month ago. ARTHUR: Yes…but I remembered that it was today…today. GWEN: Ah! MERLIN: Actually, I did. ARTHUR: Shut up, Merlin! [Gwen and Merlin laugh.] MERLIN: [Laughing] I did! [A bmb scares Arthur's horse which rears up and then runs the other way. The girth snaps making him fall off. Bandits come out of the trees and attck Arthur.] MERLIN: Arthur! [Arthur starts to fight the bandits. Merlin dismounts his horse. One of the bandits is about to hurt Arthur, but Merlin makes his sword magically fly out of his hands. Arthur kills the last bandit.] ---------- OPENING CREDITS ----------- [KING’S PALACE- PHYSICIAN’S CHAMBERS] [Gaius, Arthur, Gwen and Merlin are in Gaius' chambers tending to Arthur's wound.] GAIUS: You’re very fortunate, sire. A fall like that you could have broken your neck. ARTHUR: But the men that attcked us, have they been questioned? GAIUS: I'm sorry, sire, the wounds were fatal. We were unable to learn anything from them. MERLIN: We know one thing- it can't have been a coincidence that they were there. [Leon walks in.] LEON: Sire, we recovered your saddle from the forest trail. The girth has been unpicked and re-stitched. It was designed to break sire. ARTHUR: It appears, Merlin, on this single solitary occasion, maybe you're right. --------------- [KING’S PALACE – ROYAL sab] [Tyr Seward is tending to the horses, when Gwaine and some other knights walk up to him.] TYR: Afternoon, sir knights! Horses are shod and watered as requested. GWAINE: You're Tyr Seward? TYR: I am Sir Gwaine. You know I am. GWAINE: sab hand to the King? TYR: That is my honour, yes. [Gwaine nods to the other knights and they apprehend him.] TYR: Is the King not pleased with my work? Have I done something wrong? -------------- [KING’S PALACE- LOWER TOWN- SEWARD’S HOME] [Leon enters Tyr Sewards' house.] LEON: Gelda Seward? Mother of Tyr Seward? GELDA: Yes. LEON: And you live here with your son? GELDA: Is he in some kind of trouble? LEON: He's been arrested under suspicion of treason. GELDA: No! No that can't be. You've made a mistake. My Tyr's as loyal as to the King as you are. [Percival finds the thread that was used to restitched the girth.] PERCIVAL: Here. ----------- [KING’S PALACE- COUNCIL CHAMBERS] [Tyr Seward stands before the royal court in the council chambers] LEON: The thread we found at the boy's home matches that used to sabotage your saddle, Sire. ARTHUR: Who put you up to this Tyr? TYR: No one, no one's put me up to anything Sire. ARTHUR: You're saying you acted alone? Had no help? No accomplice? TYR: I don't know anything about these things you're talking about. I've done nothing Sire, save look after your horse and tack like I always do. ARTHUR: The evidence is staring you in the face. You can't deny it. TYR: Sire, I swear on my mother's life.... ARTHUR: Just give me their name. Why protect them? They can't help you now. Just give me their name. TYR: I have no name. There's no name to give. ARTHUR: Then you leave me no choice! Though it saddens me greatly to do so I must charge you with treason. Is there anything further you'd like to say? TYR: You're my king, sire. I'd never do anything to hurt you. Never. ARTHUR: Tyr Seward, by the power vested in me I hereby sentence you to death. [Merlin and Arthur are walking in the hallway.] MERLIN: How long have you known Tyr? ARTHUR: He's been in my service since he was a boy. MERLIN: Do you really think he could be capable of this treason? ARTHUR: What I think is irrelevant. The facts speak for themselves. MERLIN: Arthur, to sentence him to death? ARTHUR: The law is the law, Merlin. Whether I like it or not. -------------- [KING’S PALACE- PHYSICIAN’S CHAMBERS] [Gaius and Merlin are in Gaius' chambers.] MERLIN: Why would Tyr want Arthur dad? It makes no sense. GAIUS: Perhaps he harbored some grudge, some festering resentment. MERLIN: What grudge could he bear? He loved his work. He was deeply proud of it. And Arthur respected him, I know he did. He always treated him fairly and well. GAIUS: Merlin, it's not always possible to know what's in the mind of another man. MERLIN: Maybe so, but Arthur was right about one thing Tyr could not have done this alone. Someone else is involved and unless we find out who they are. What's to stop them from trying it again? [Gaius hands him a bowl of soup. Merlin runs out of Gaius' chambers.] ------------- [KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Arthur is fiddling with a string as Gwen walks in.] GWEN: Arthur. I know you were fond of Tyr, but you had no choice. He was guilty. ARTHUR: Tyr Seward is a simple man. He can’t have planned this assassination himself. GWEN: Well, I know that's what you would like to think. We all would. But, as hard as it is to accept, even a great, and honorable king has enemies within his walls. Very often the last person you would suspect. Tyr is just such a person. ARTHUR: No, you're right. I suppose experience should have taught me that by now. GWEN: The important thing is he didn't succeed. I've already lost my brother I couldn't bear to lose you too. ARTHUR: I'm here, Guinevere. I always will be. I'll never leave you, I promise you that. [Gwen kisses Arthur's hand.] -------------- [KING’S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Merlin is shown visiting Tyr in his cell. Merlin hands Tyr the bowl of soup.] MERLIN: I thought you might like some food. [Merlin sits next to Tyr after the guard closes the door.] Cooking is not Gaius's strong point as you know. TYR: Well, at least it's not their turnip stew. Thank you, Merlin. MERLIN: I'd like to help you Tyr. If I can. TYR: You heard the king. No one can help me now. MERLIN: I know you Tyr. Whatever you did, I don't believe you meant any harm. TYR: I didn't do anything. On my honour, I didn't. MERLIN: But something happened, didn't it? TYR: No. MERLIN: Tyr, please, I know you're not to blame, just tell me what happened. TYR: No! They... MERLIN: Who? [Tyr sets the bowl. Merlin turns to make sure that no guard can hear him. Tyr moves closer.] TYR: This was a few days back. One of the horses came down with colic so I had sleep in the sab to watch over him. MERLIN: Go on, it's alright. TYR: That night, I was woke up by a sound. There was someone there, going over the king’s saddle. I knew it wasn't right. I tried to get away and warn someone, but they saw me. They told me if I so much as whispered a word of what I'd seen… they'd take my mother. They'd take her and they'd cut her throat. MERLIN: Who was it? TYR: I can't! MERLIN: Tyr, please tell me. This is the only chance you have. You'll be hanged if you don't. TYR: And they'll kll my mother if I do. MERLIN: Tyr. I can help you. TYR: No. If it means me dying instead of her then so be it. I'd rather die. ------------ [KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Merlin, Arthur and Gwen are in the royal chambers.] ARTHUR: You went to the cells to see Tyr. MERLIN: Yes. ARTHUR: We've been over this before, we know what he said. The evidence doesn't lie. MERLIN: No one denies the crime sire, but the only part that Tyr played was to see it done. ARTHUR: He told you this. MERLIN: Five minutes ago. ARTHUR: Then who was it? MERLIN: He won’t say, he's too frightened. They thrat him. ARTHUR: I must speak with him, at once. [Arthur walks around Gwen to the door. Merlin turns to follow.] GWEN: Arthur surely it can wait. Gaius told you to rest, let your injuries heal. ARTHUR: I'll be fine Guinevere. I just want to hear what he has to say. [Arthur has opened the door.] GWEN: And you shall. [Arthur pauses at the door.]But Tyr has said everything he is willing to say for now. He's clearly frightened and unsure of what to do-don't push him. Let him think it over and maybe after a night in the cells he'll be prepared to say more. [Merlin looks between Gwen and Arthur. Arthur takes a moment to decide on what to do. He shuts the door.] ARTHUR: As always, Guinevere, you're right. [Arthur walks past Gwen to the table by the window. Gwen and Merlin share a glance before she turns to follow Arthur. Merlin looks at her as she goes.] ------------- [KING’S PALACE- PHYSICIAN’S CHAMBERS] [Merlin and Gaius are eating supper.] MERLIN: Have you noticed anything about Gwen of late? GAIUS: Nothing unusual. Why? MERLIN: I'm not sure exactly. GAIUS: Something she’s said? Something she's done? MERLIN: No. It's nothing in particular. It just seems to me that ever since she returned from the Dark Tower she hasn't been quite herself. GAIUS: Why is that so surprising? She lost her only brother. Elyan was all the family she had. And grief changes people, Merlin. MERLIN: I know that. I do, but... GAIUS: Besides, we can only guess at what Morgana put her through. MERLIN: That’s what worries me. ---------------- [KING’S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Gwen places a burning piece of cloth in a grate that makes the guards pass out so she can go down to the prison cells.] GWEN: Tyr. TYR: What are you doing here? GWEN: Nothing to worry about. I just want to talk. TYR: I've said nothing. GWEN: Shhhh. Come closer.[Tyr gets up and walks to the door.] We don’t want to be heard, do we? [He shakes his head.] TYR: I’ve told no names. I’ve not mentioned you to anyone. GWEN: I believe you. TYR: My mother’s safe? You’ve not harmed her? GWEN: Your mother is alive and well. She’s not the problem. You are. TYR: Me? GWEN: You see, Tyr, it’s not what you haven’t said. It’s what you may yet say. [Gwen pulls the dagger from behind her back.] TYR: Don’t… [She sab him with the dagger. He falls to the floor.] GWEN: Understand? ------------ [KING’S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Gaius examines Tyr. Arthur is knelt next to Gaius. Merlin looks on. Percival is standing out in the doorway to the cell.] GAIUS: The blade punctured his heart. He suffered very little, I’m glad to say. ARTHUR: You’ve spoken to the night patrols? PERCIVAL: They saw nothing unusual, sire. [Leon walks up with the cloth that Gwen had placed.] 'ARTHUR:' What about the guards? Why didn’t they raise the alarm? LEON: Sire. We found this in a grate in the guard room. [Gaius takes it and smells it.] GAIUS: Clary wort. A powerful soporific, sire. [Arthur is still knelt next to Tyr’s body. He shakes his head.] ARTHUR: I’ve been a fool. [He stands up. Merlin is examining the door frame.] I should have spoken to him when I had the chance. MERLIN: Arthur. ARTHUR: What? MERLIN: Whoever did this was no stranger to Camelot. They knew the Citadel inside out. ------------- [FOREST] [Gwen runs her hand over a vine that is on a tree and smiles. She turns and walks to where Morgana is waiting for her.] MORGANA: Guinevere. GWEN: The plan failed. Arthur lives. MORGANA: Does he suspect you? GWEN: Not yet. But the sab hand saw me. He was going to tell them everything. MORGANA: Was? You have some good news then? GWEN: I did what had to be done. MORGANA: With Tyr gone you have to find someone else to take the fall. When Arthur dies you have to be beyond all suspicion. You must have support of the knights only with their allegiance will your path to the throne be clear. GWEN: But what good is all this? Arthur’s still alive. MORGANA: For now. By tonight you’ll have everything you need to finish the job. GWEN: Arthur’s doubled the guard, and there are patrols night and day. I can’t risk leaving… MORGANA: Gwen. Gwen. It is I that will come to you. [Gwen gives her a look. A horses whinnies in the distance. A patrol approaches.] MORGANA: Go! [Gwen pulls her hood up and runs off. Morgana walks the other way. Gwaine turns his horse and goes the way that Gwen went. Morgana pulls him off his horse with magic. Gwen makes it out of the woods and back outside of Camelot walls. She turns and looks back. Gwen straightens her cloak and hair and walks calmly back to the castle. ] ------------------ [KING’S PALACE- CORRIDOR] [Merlin is walking the opposite way from her. Gwen walks through a doorway. Merlin hears her and turns around.] MERLIN: Gwen? [She stops and turns around to face him. They walk toward each other.]I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Arthur’s been beside himself with worry. GWEN: Well, there was no need to worry; I was just walking in the meadow. Since Elyan died…sometimes I just need time to myself. MERLIN: I understand, but you should be careful. A patrol was attcked in the woods only an hour ago. GWEN: [tries to act surprised.] Oh I had no idea. Ah Thank you, Merlin. I’ll be more careful next time. [She walks away. Merlin looks after her with a concerned look on his face or one of suspicion.] ------------------- [KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Gaius is looking Gwaine over. Merlin and Arthur are looking on.] GAIUS: No broken bones, I’m glad to say. ARTHUR: Anything else you remember? GWAINE: Nothing. One minute I was pursuing them through the trees. The next I was flat on the ground. ARTHUR: You’re sure it was sorcery? GWAINE: Without a doubt. Powerful, too. MERLIN: Morgana? GWAINE: It’s possible. But why was she there? MERLIN: Maybe she was meeting someone. ARTHUR: Why would she come so close to the Citadel? MERLIN: Maybe she had to. Maybe whoever she was meeting was here in Camelot. [Gwaine and Gaius share a glance.] ARTHUR: Well, until we have more to go on this is idle speculation. [He looks at Gaius and Merlin.] Gaius, Merlin- see what you can find in the woods. Perhaps there’s something we overlooked. GWAINE: I’ll go with them. [He starts to stands up. Gaius stops him.] GAIUS: You’ll do no such thing. You’ll rest, Gwaine. Physician’s orders. [Gaius gets up and leaves as Merlin walks around the table. Gwen is watching through the glass outside in the hall. Arthur leaves. Merlin sits next to Gwaine.] MERLIN: I don’t think this is over. GWAINE: What do you mean? MERLIN: Well, whoever’s responsible for the attck on Arthur’s life, what’s to stop them from trying again? [Gwen is still outside listening the conversation between Gwaine and Merlin.] GWAINE: They haven’t a chance, the Citadel’s on full alert. Every entrance, every exit’s being watched. Trust me, Arthur’s safe as long as he remains in Camelot. MERLIN: That’s just it, what if he’s not safe here? What if Camelot’s the most dangerous place that he could be? Who could have access to the sab, who could of known the layout of the cells? Who knew that Tyr would do anything to protect his mother? You need to stay close to Arthur, and do whatever you can to protect him. GWAINE: You have my word on it, Merlin. [They nod to each other and Merlin grabs Gaius’s bag and leaves.] [FOREST] [Morgana walks along a path to a hut that is in the middle of some trees. There is a man sitting at a desk. She opens the door and enters. He looks up to see who it is. SINDRI: Who are you? MORGANA: It matters not who I am, but what I want and whether you can give it to me. SINDRI: And what is it that you want? MORGANA: A tincture. With the power to kll. Not just to kll, but to do so slowly and with the utmost pain. SINDRI: Very particular, what you seek. MORGANA: It has a very particular purpose. [He looks up at her from a paper that he looking over.] Well? Do you possess such a thing? SINDRI: I do. [He gets up and walks to a shelf that is next to her. He pulls two vials off the shelf.] Here. MORGANA: What are they? SINDRI: Valerian. Two drops will render the victim unconscious. And Henbane. A single drop administered through the ear. Their death will be as prolonged and as unpleasant as could wish for. [Morgana goes to reach for them.] Ah, these are…uncommon things. Hard to come by, hard to prepare… [Morgana hands him some gold and takes the vials.] SINDRI: [He counts the gold.] Very generous, my lady, more than enough to buy my wares. But not my silence. [Morgana turns and tosses more coins on the floor. He bends down and picks up the coins.] KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Arthur is sitting at the table thinking. Gwen stands a bit of a ways back. She walks toward him.] GWEN: Arthur, are you all right? ARTHUR: What if Merlin’s right? What if Morgana did attck the patrol? GWEN: Morgana? ARTHUR: She wants me dad. What better way of achieving that than conspiring with an ally with in Camelot? An ally who she couldn’t risk meeting within these walls? GWEN: Who? ARTHUR: Whoever klled Tyr. GWEN: But that doesn’t make sense. If you’re the target, why kll Tyr? ARTHUR: To protect their identity. GWEN: Perhaps. ARTHUR: Tyr’s kller had an intimate knowledge of the palace. Whoever they were, they must be known to me, and they must be here as we speak. [Gwen comes to sit in the chair next to Arthur.] GWEN: If what you say is true, they must be found quickly. ARTHUR: And if they’re not and strike again? GWEN: I will not let that happen. I would lay down my life to protect you. [She grabs his hand.] You’ll find them Arthur. You and I together. --------------- [FOREST] [Merlin and Gaius are looking in the woods to see if they can find anything. Merlin sees the vine that Gwen was touching before.] MERLIN: Gaius! [Merlin looks at the vine when Gaius is closer. Gaius goes to examine it.] GAIUS: Yes, that’s certainly not natural. MERLIN: It was Morgana, I’m sure of it. [He walks off in the direction that Gwen went running to.] GAIUS: Are you sure we’re in the right place? [There’s a piece of cloth on a branch.] MERLIN: Gwaine said he spotted them somewhere around here. GAIUS: There. On that branch. [Gaius picks up the cloth. MERLIN: It’s not much to go on, is it? [He takes the cloth from Gaius.] ----------- [KING’S PALACE- PHYSICIAN’S CHAMBERS] [Gaius examines the cloth through a magnifying glass.] GAIUS: Raw imported silk. Traders ask a small fortune for it. Whoever that belongs to is extremely wealthy. [Merlin takes the glass and cloth from Gaius. He looks at it.] MERLIN: What is that? Some kind of embroidery? GAIUS: Indeed. Woven threads of silver and gold. Only those of the highest rank can afford such a thing. [Merlin puts the magnifying glass down on the table. He looks at the cloth closer and recognizes it. He takes off running.] GAIUS: Merlin? Where are you going now? --------------- [KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Merlin is looking through Gwen’s clothes trying to find the dress that matches the cloth. He pulls a dress off its hanger to look at it closer. He puts the cloth next to it, it doesn’t match. He sticks his head back in the wardrobe to look.] ARTHUR: Merlin? [Merlin pulls back, turns around and sees Arthur.] Would you care to explain exactly what it is that you’re doing? MERLIN: I was just checking for holes. ARTHUR: Holes? [Merlin puts his arm through one of the sleeves.] ARTHUR: Yes. That’s where the hand goes. MERLIN: Granted. But look… [He pulls his hand out and puts his other hand in the other sleeve.] ARTHUR: Hm. That, I believe, is where the other hand goes. MERLIN: Right. Yeah, I’m just saying that you can’t be too careful. A lady’s modesty is at stake, after all. [He pulls his arm out and puts the dress away.] ARTHUR: Is it now? Merlin, I would strongly recommend that you start showing a little less interest in Guinevere’s clothing and a little more interest in mine. [Arthur picks up the laundry basket and holds it out to Merlin. He can smell before he takes a hold of the basket.] MERLIN: I think I prefer Gwen’s. ARTHUR: I’m going to do everything in my power to try and forget that you ever just said that. [He shoves the basket in Merlin’s chest.] I suggest you do the same. --------------- [KING’S PALACE- LOWER TOWN] [Gwen is walking through the town. She nods to some knights that walk past her. She stops at a vendor that sells cloth. An old lady is standing there. Gwen touches one of the silk scarfs. The old lady turns around and grabs her hand. Gwen gasps then realizes that it’s Morgana.] MORGANA: Just a few drops will ease your troubles, my dear. Do you understand? [Some knights stop next to them and talk to a woman that is sitting in a chair.] GWEN: Yes. [She glances at the knights.] Come on. MORGANA: Are you prepared? Have you found someone to take the fall? GWEN: Don’t worry. I have someone in mind. [Morgana leaves.] -------------- [KING’S PALACE- CORRIDOR] [Merlin walks down the corridor to the kitchen to use the washing bin. He steps pass a knight. As he passes a door, Gwen steps through it behind him. They don’t see each other.] [Gwen walks to the Royal Chambers.] -------------- [KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Arthur is preparing to eat dinner. Gwen enters as the servant finishes pouring Arthur’s wine.] ARTHUR: Guinevere. I was beginning to wonder where you were. GWEN: Sorry, I had some business to attend to in town. [The servant leaves.] ARTHUR: I hope you have an appetite. GWEN: Mmm. And a thirst. [Arthur stands up to get the pitcher as she sits down. While his back is turned she pours some valerian in his drink.] ARTHUR: What took you into town? GWEN: Oh, just delivering supplies to those most in need. [He pours her a drink.] ARTHUR: Your kindness never ceases to amaze me. [She takes a sip and stares at his goblet.] ---------- KING’S PALACE- KITCHENS] [Merlin is washing Arthur’s clothes. He wrings a shirt out and then drops it back in the water. He throws another piece of laundry into the water. He goes to pick up a dumpling.] AUDREY: Keep your grubby hands off my dumplings! [She smacks his hand with her spoon.][Merlin pulls out the rest of the clothes; the last piece is a silver dress. He drops the rest of the clothes back in the basket. He reaches for the piece of cloth that they found. He puts it next to the dress. It matches! He takes off running.] --------------- [KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Arthur goes to take a sip of his wine and stops.] ARTHUR: You know, now that I think of it, we never got to have our little celebration, did we? GWEN: Yes, why was that? ARTHUR: To us. [They clink goblets. Arthur takes a sip of wine. He starts to feel the effect of the valerian. Gwen watches him.][Merlin runs down a corridor, opens a door and continues running.][Arthur starting to feel worse. He closes his eyes and slumps over in his chair. Gwen grabs the henbane and opens it. Merlin slides around the corner and still keeps on running. Gwen pours a drop of the henbane in Arthur’s ear. She recorks it and smirks.][Merlin runs up and bursts into the room, he sees Arthur slouched over and Gwen nowhere to be found.] [Arthur is now on the bed. Gaius is examining him. Gwen stands on the other side of the bed facing Gaius with the knights and Merlin behind her.] GAIUS: All the evidence suggests that the King has been poisoned. GWEN: You’re certain, Gaius? GAIUS: Quite certain. The sweating, the corruption of the skin, the traces of tincture around the ear. They all point to the use of henbane. GWEN: [Acting upset.] Is there no hope? GAIUS: The poison is a deadly one, my lady. [Merlin watches like a hawk from behind a bedpost.] There may be a way to arrest its course but I cannot guarantee it. GWEN: One thing I know for certain. That whoever did this lives among us. Whoever did this has betrayed us all. [She turns to look at the knights then back again.] Someone who is free to roam the Citadel as they please, someone who has access to the King’s sab, [Merlin thinks he can tell where this is going.] the King’s prison, even the King’s food. There is only one I know of… [She turns around and looks at him.] Merlin. [He stares at her.] [KING’S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Merlin is thrown in a cell.] -------------- [KING’S PALACE- STAIRCASE] [Gwen is looking out the window. Gaius walks up behind her. She turns to look at him then back to the window faking being upset. Gaius can tell that Gwen is different.] GWEN: How is Arthur? GAIUS: There is no change. [Gwen turns and walks down a step toward Gaius.] GWEN: I know how you much feel-about Merlin. You must believe me when I say how sorry I am. But the evidence against him is overwhelming. GAIUS: You did what you had to do, Guinevere. You had no choice. I understand that. GWEN: Thank you. Is there no hope, Gaius? None at all? GAIUS: I will not lie to you. Arthur’s time is nearly upon him. But until the King draws his last breath, there is always hope. [He leaves. Gwen turns back to the window. When Gaius is gone she smiles.] ------------------- [KING’S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Gaius visits Merlin.] GAIUS: You were right, Merlin. Whatever Morgana did in the Dark Tower, she’s taken control over Gwen and used her to get to Arthur. MERLIN: Can you save him? GAIUS: The poison is too strong, too virulent. [A door opens somewhere.] Your magic is his only hope. MERLIN: You need to get me out of here somehow. --------------------- [KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Gwen is sitting next to the bed. Sir Leon is standing behind her.] GWEN: You promised you’d never leave me, Arthur. You promised. He’s our strength, our heart. How can I live without him? How can any of us live without him? LEON: Because we must. [He steps toward her and sits in another chair beside her.] My lady. If Arthur is to die we will lose more than that. The kingdom will lose its King. GWEN: While Arthur lives, there is still a King of Camelot. LEON: But when the time comes, and it…and it will surely come soon, we need to be prepared. If we do not have a leader and a guide…Camelot and all the kingdom will be vulnerable. Everything Arthur worked so hard to achieve will be thrat. GWEN: But who could wear his crown? He has no family to succeed him. And who among us is…worthy of such a thing? LEON: You are, my lady. [Gwen turns to look at him.] GWEN: Me? LEON: You are as close to family as Arthur has. No one can deny your wisdom, your compassion and your loyalty. I am certain that were Arthur able to this decision, he would choose you. GWEN: I don’t know what to say. LEON: I realize that this is a great responsibility, but you will not be alone. I guarantee you, myself and all the knights will stand by you. Now and forever. GWEN: Thank you, Leon. I am lucky indeed to have such friends. [She puts her hand over his. Gwen turns back to looking at Arthur. She smirks.] ------------- [KING’S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Gaius lowers a potion ties to a string into Merlin’s cell. Merlin sees it and stands up. He looks at it and gives a small laugh. He looks up at Gaius and takes the potion with a grin. There are two guards playing dice when Old Merlin walks up. They stand and draw their swords when they see him.] GUARD 1: Who are you? OLD MERLIN: What kind of a damn fool question is that? I am who I am and I am who I was and I am who I will always be. GUARD1: That’s no answer. OLD MERLIN: What other answer is there? It’s the only answer worth giving. GUARD1: What are you doing here? OLD MERLIN: Incredible. You follow one idiot question with another. [He points toward the cells.] I’m visiting the cells, as you perfectly well know. GUARD1: No, you’re not. Not unless we say so, you’re not. OLD MERLIN: But you already said so. Only ten minutes ago you said so. You said so and I do so! GUARD1: No, we didn’t. OLD MERLIN: What on earth is wrong with you? Something interesting in your tea, is there? It’s hardly any wonder your prisoners are being mrder if you can’t even remember who you’re letting in and who you’re letting out. You let me in! And I thank you for that. And now, apparently I have to let myself out. Ah! Goodbye! [Old Merlin leaves and the guards look at each other.] -------------- [KING’S PALACE- KITCHENS] [Merlin tries to find somewhere to take the potion to turn himself young again. Just as he about to drink the potion Audrey catches him.] AUDREY: You! What are you doing in my kitchen? OLD MERLIN: Nothing. AUDREY: Nothing means mischief in my book. OLD MERLIN: Well you’ve been reading the wrong book. AUDREY: And mischief means theft. OLD MERLIN: No, it doesn’t. AUDREY: And theft means my pies! OLD MERLIN: Your pies? Why on earth would anyone want to steal your godforsaken pies? AUDREY: My pies are the talk of Camelot. OLD MERLIN: Oh yes, indeed they are. The crust like rusted iron, a filling like last year’s horse dung, and the smell, oh yes, just like the guardhouses latrine! AUDREY: Nobody insults my pies and gets away with it! OLD MERLIN: Oh I’m sorry, should I speak instead of your poisonous flans? Like vomit, curding in the noon day sun. Or your dumplings! The king himself likened them to freshly lain frogspawn, wrapped in a pig snot. AUDREY: What would you know about the king and my dumplings? OLD MERLIN: Oh good grief. [He knocks her out with a pan using his magic.] Should have done that years ago. [He steps over her and leaves. He takes the potion while walking down a corridor. Merlin sees two guards outside of a door. He makes a candle holder on the wall loose. The guards start to go to investigate. Gwaine and some other knights come from the other end of the corridor, they see Merlin’s shadow.] GWAINE: You there! [Merlin takes off running. Gwaine and the others follow.] KNIGHT: You! Halt! [Merlin goes down a dark corridor. Gwaine follows, Mordred grabs a torch from its holder and follows. Merlin goes down the staircase.] KNIGHT: There! This way! [Merlin goes out the door to the main square and slams the door behind him. He goes down the stairs and jumps over the side and hides.] [Gwaine, Mordred and other guards come out.] GWAINE: He’s gone. We’ve lost him! MORDRED: Inform the men we have an intruder. Put the Citadel on high alert. [He makes a gesture for one of the men to leave. Warning bells sound. Guards start searching and shout orders to each other. Merlin watches from his hiding place. Leon runs across the square and stops in the middle, still in Merlin’s sight. Mordred and Percival join him. Merlin looks at the Royal Chamber’s window, knowing that that is the only way in.] MERLIN: Faerblaed waw! [All the fires go out. The knights look around at each other.] PERCIVAL: That was no wind. That was sorcery. LEON: Light the braziers. Search the courtyard. [Merlin is scaling the wall to the chambers.] --------------- [KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Merlin quietly opens the window and climbs in, closing it behind him. Gwaine enters the room.] GWAINE: Are you all right? GWEN: Yes. GWAINE: You haven’t seen anything? Heard anything? GWEN: Nothing. Why? GWAINE: There’s an intruder within our walls. GWEN: Here? In the Citadel? GWAINE: Yes, my lady. We last saw them in the Main Square, then we lost sight of them. [Gaius looks behind him at the curtains.] GAIUS: My lady, you may be in danger. Gwaine will take you to the guest chambers. He’ll ensure no harm comes to you there. GWEN: Why would anyone wish me harm? [Merlin stands up behind the curtain.] GAIUS: You’re to be our leader, Gwen. You are Camelot’s future. Do you imagine our enemies don’t want you d*ad? GWEN: I can’t leave Arthur, not now. GAIUS: Gwen, I promise, if there is any change. I’ll fetch you at once. [Merlin peeks around at Arthur.] GWAINE: Gaius is right. Come, my lady. You’re not safe here. [Gwaine and Gwen leave the room. Gaius turns towards the curtains.] GAIUS: How on earth did you get in here? [Merlin pushes the curtain aside.] MERLIN: Don’t even ask. [He makes his way to the bed.] How is he? GAIUS: His heart is nearly stopped. I fear he’s close to death. [Merlin puts his hand on Arthur’s chest.] MERLIN: The sickness is so deep in him. I don’t know if I have the power to bring him back. GAIUS: You can do this, Merlin. [Merlin straightens up, wipes his face and takes a few breaths. He places his hands on Arthur’s chest.] MERLIN: Ic the thurhaele thinu licsar mid thamsundorcraeft thaere ealdan ae! [Merlin backs away so Gaius can step forward to check Arthur. Gaius feels for a pulse. He turns to look at Merlin. Merlin starts to cry. Arthur moves and makes a face and mumbles.] ARTHUR: Gaius… [Arthur rolls over.][Merlin breathes a sigh of relief.] GAIUS: Merlin…Well done, Merlin! [Gaius gives him a hug.] Well done. You’d better get back to the cells before you’re missed. MERLIN: There are guards on every floor and every stairwell. How can I get back down there? GAIUS: Well the same way you came up, obviously. MERLIN: Obviously. [Merlin turns toward the window and Gaius makes a shoo motion. Merlin opens the window.] --------------- [KING’S PALACE-DUNGEONS] [Merlin’s door opens. He’s asleep on the bed. Gaius and Gwaine are standing there.] GAIUS: Morning, Merlin. [Merlin looks up at them.] GWAINE: If you’ve got a moment, the King would like a word. [Merlin scratches his head and smiles.] ------------------ [KING’S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Arthur is sitting at the table reading a piece of paper. Someone knocks on the door that is already open and Merlin steps into the room.] ARTHUR: Merlin! This is one of the two…possibly three moments in my life where I’ve actually been glad to see you. MERLIN: That’s my thoughts exactly, Sire. How’re you feeling? ARTHUR: Like death. Well, death warmed up, at least. MERLIN: I can imagine. ARTHUR: Hm. Well it seems like we’ve both been through something of an ordeal. [He gestures toward to the chair.] MERLIN: It wasn’t so bad, really. Once you get use to the eternal night and the rats, and the moldy pillows, [Merlin sits down.] living with a bucket of your own… ARTHUR: Merlin. I’m sorry about what happened to you. Truly. Soon as I heard, I told them it couldn’t have been you who poisoned me. I had the cook confirm your alibi. MERLIN: Thank you. ARTHUR: I also told them you simply weren’t bright enough to organize an assassination attempt. MERLIN: That’s very thoughtful. ARTHUR: You’re welcome. MERLIN: Arthur… ARTHUR: Hmm MERLIN: There is something I need to talk to you about. ARTHUR: Sorry, Merlin, another time. They’re waiting for me in the council chambers. [Arthur gets up and walks to the door.] Thanks to Guinevere, some new evidence has to come to light. [He leaves. Merlin wonders what it could be.] --------------- [KING’S PALACE- COUNCIL CHAMBERS] [Arthur stands before the people. Gwen at his left hand, and Merlin to the right next to a column. Sindri stands before him.] ARTHUR: The Queen found these vials in my chambers. They bear, as you can see a distinctive mark. Thanks to her tireless effort, she has been able to trace them. [Arthur walks toward Sindri and holds the vial up in front of him.] This is your mark, is it not? SINDRI: It is my mark, yes. ARTHUR: And what does this vial contain? SINDRI: It…it’s valerian, sire. ARTHUR: What does it do? SINDRI: It renders the subject unconscious. ARTHUR: [He holds up the second vial.] This one? SINDRI: Henbane. It’s poison, my lord. ARTHUR: A lethal poison. And it is only thanks to the great skill of my physician that I am still alive. SINDRI: I’m sorry, my lord. I…I supplied it, I must confess. But I did not know that it was intended for you. In truth, I was..um.. was too afraid to ask. ARTHUR: Too afraid to ask who? SINDRI: She who…procured it. ARTHUR: And did you recognize this woman? SINDRI: Well, I cannot say for certain but I believed it to be Morgana Pendragon. [Arthur nods and the guards take him away. Arthur walks back to the throne.] ARTHUR: Because of the Queen’s diligence, the truth has been uncovered. [Arthur takes Gwen’s hand and leads her forward.] Each and every one of us owes her a great debt. Long live the Queen. [Gwen stands in front of room smiling while everyone shouts. She turns in a circle and nods her head a few times.] ALL: Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! [She looks at Merlin. He stares at her showing nothing. ALL: Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen!	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x07 - A Lesson in Vengeance"}	foreverdreaming
Episode 5.08 – The Hollow Queen Lower Town A hooded figure sneaks into the castle grounds, injuring his arm on the way. Guinevere’s honour guard spots him. Sir Leon: Stop! Show yourself. The boy lowers his hood. Guinevere: Oh, he’s just a boy. Sir Leon: Out here in the middle of the night? Guinevere: There’s no need for your sword. The boy kneels to her. Guinevere: Come. Gwen reaches out to him and the boy stands. Guinevere: Where are you going? Daegal: Been catching frogs. Sir Leon: Frogs? Guinevere: It’s a full moon, Leon. We used to do it. Come on, you should be in bed. Off you go. The boy bows. Daegal: Thank you, my lady. --- Royal chambers Gwen enters to find Arthur and Merlin arranging garlands around the bed. Guinevere: Oh, Arthur, that is so sweet. You’ve gone to all this trouble. And gilly flowers, my favourite. You remembered. Gwen puts her arms around his neck. Arthur: Mm-hmm. Guinevere: You miss me. Arthur: Mm. Arthur stops, looking up at Merlin. Arthur: Merlin, er, it’s late. You should probably get some sleep. Merlin walks toward the door. Merlin: Sire. Guinevere: Oh, Merlin. Before you go, I’d love a hot bath. Gwen giggles as Arthur sweeps her up in his arms. Merlin: Certainly, my lady. Merlin leaves and Arthur carries Gwen to the bed. --- Castle Tunnels The boy uses a key to enter the tunnels. He places the key above door frame. --- Kitchens Merlin prepares hot water for Gwen’s bath. Merlin hears the door creak open and sees the boy standing there. Merlin: Who are you? Daegal: My name is Daegal. Merlin: How’d you get in here? Daegal: It wasn’t difficult. Merlin: Really? Get out. Daegal: Please, it’s my sister. She’s sick. She needs a physician. Merlin: Well, bring her to Gaius. Daegal: I can’t. It’s too dangerous for our kind. Daegal shows Merlin a druid symbol on his arm. Daegal: I need you to come with me. She needs your help or she will die. Merlin: I’m not a physician. Merlin hears footsteps and pulls the boy inside the room. Daegal: She’s only six. She has the sweating sickness. I’m begging you. You are her only chance. Merlin: How far is she? Daegal: The Valley of the Fallen Kings. Merlin: That’s more than half a day away. Daegal: She won’t last much longer. You must come now. Merlin: No. Can’t. Daegal stares at him. Merlin: I can’t. Daegal: I have risked my life to save her. Please tell me it was not in vain. Merlin: Go, get out of here. Go. Daegal: Will you help her? Merlin hesitates. Merlin: Meet me… at the entrance to the Darkling woods at first light. Daegal nods and leaves. [OPENING TITLES] --- Physician’s chambers Gaius: You don’t even know who this boy is. Merlin: He’s a druid. Gaius: He broke into the castle like a thief. Merlin: How else was he going to reach me? Gaius: The journey to the Valley of the Fallen Kings, Merlin, it’s a den of mrder, cutthroats. Merlin: It is dangerous. Gaius: It’s a long way north of dangerous. Merlin: What am I supposed to do? Let this girl die? Gaius: The journey there and back is going to take you the best part of the day. How are you going to keep it from Arthur? Merlin: I’m sure you’ll think of something. Gaius: Me?! Merlin: Sarrum of Amata is arriving today. Arthur’ll be too busy to notice where I am. Gaius: Merlin. Merlin: I promised the boy and I can’t go back on it now. I’ll be back by nightfall. Merlin exits and walks right through the front gate unnoticed. --- Darkling woods Merlin: Sorry I’m late. Daegal: I thought you weren’t coming. Merlin: I was bringing you some breakfast. It’s fresh. Daegal: It’s good of you to do this. Merlin: I only hope I can help your sister. Daegal: Did you get in trouble? Merlin: No. Daegal: But you’re the king’s servant. Merlin: Arthur won’t even notice I’m gone. --- Royal chambers (morning) Arthur: Merlin? Arthur searches for something. Guinevere enters. Arthur: Merlin! Guinevere: What is it? Arthur: I can’t find my comb. Guinevere: Have you looked? Arthur: Everywhere. Arthur sits on the bed. Gwen walks over to the nightstand and picks up the comb, holding it in front of Arthur. Arthur: It must’ve been under something. Guinevere: Your nose. Gwen taps Arthur’s nose with the comb. Arthur: You just have this way of seeing things. Guinevere: Yes, two of them. They’re called eyes. Arthur: Very beautiful they are, too. Arthur draws Gwen close. Guinevere: Don’t try and get out of this. Gwen combs Arthur’s hair. Arthur: Out of what? Guinevere: How hopeless you are. Arthur: I am. I’m hopelessly in love. Arthur draws Gwen in for a kiss, but she puts the comb between their lips. Guinevere: You need to prepare for the Sarrum’s arrival. Arthur lets go as Gwen pushes him and he flops backward onto the bed. She tosses the comb on his stomach and exits. Arthur: Oh, yes. That. Do you know where my robe…? Gwen is gone. Arthur: …s are? --- Physician’s chambers (day) Arthur enters. Arthur: Merlin! Gaius: Er, he’s garnering herbs, sire. Arthur: But I need him, now. Gaius: Well, he may be some time. Arthur: Where is he? Gaius: He’s gone in pursuit of a young agrimonia. Arthur: A what? Gaius: Agrimonia, sire. A noble, but shy plant, not easy to find, and it could take him all day. Arthur: All day? Gaius: It is invaluable, sire. Its properties open up both the liver and the spleen. Arthur: He’s in the tavern, isn’t he? Gaius: No, sire! Arthur: Well, when he’s finished opening up his liver and his spleen, tell him he has exactly one hour to sober up and get to my chambers. We’ve a guest to prepare for. --- Darkling woods (day) Merlin: Here. Merlin hands a flask to Daegal. Daegal gasps in pain as he lifts it to his lips. Merlin: What’s wrong? Daegal: I fell getting into the citadel. Merlin: Here, let me have a look. Daegal: It’s my sister that needs caring for, not me. Merlin: Wait. We’ve a long journey ahead of us. You don’t want this getting any worse. Merlin bandages Daegal’s arm. Merlin: It helps slow the blood flow, take away the swelling. Daegal: Where’d you learn all this? Merlin: Gaius. When I first came to Camelot, he took me in, taught me everything that I know. What about you? Your family? Daegal: I only have a sister. Merlin: Your parents? Daegal: My mother’s dad. Merlin: She was a druid too? Daegal nods. Daegal: Gaius taught you well. You’re lucky to have him. Merlin: I am. Come on. Merlin gives Daegal a hand up. --- Royal chambers (morning) A knock at the door. Arthur fastens his trousers. Arthur: Yes? Gaius enters. Gaius: He’s still not returned. Arthur: How am I to get dressed? Gaius: Ha, well, surely that’s not too difficult, sire. Arthur: Really? You think you can do it? Gaius is surprised. Arthur takes off his nightshirt. Arthur: Right. Come on, then, Gaius. Arthur throws his night shirt on the bed, then bends over with his arms stretched out to have Gaius put a shirt over his head. Gaius stares. Arthur looks up. Arthur: Shirt. Gaius makes an “Oh” expression. Arthur: Quickly. Gaius picks up a shirt and Arthur gets back into shirt-dressing position. Gaius and Arthur struggle to get the shirt on. Arthur: What are you doing? Gaius: It’s stuck. Arthur: Can’t be. Gaius: It’s too small. Arthur struggles and rips something. He finally gets his head through and looks at the shirt. Arthur: It’s Guinevere’s nightdress. Gaius gives another “Oh” expression. --- Darkling woods (day) Daegal: I tell you, if I catch this fly, I’m going to eat it. Merlin: (chuckle) Here. Better for you. Merlin hands Daegal an apple. Merlin: Here. Merlin hands Daegal an apple. Daegal: Don’t you like them? Merlin: They’re my favourite. Daegal: Then why are you giving it to me? Merlin: I don’t need it. I had a big breakfast. Daegal: Why are you being like this? People I’ve met, they’re…not like you. They don’t care. I don’t matter. Merlin: Don’t ever think that. We all matter. Have a drink. Merlin hands him the flask. Daegal: Thank you. Merlin: Come on. --- Tunnels and woods Gwen takes the key from above the gate and exits the same way Daegal entered. Gwen leaves a note at the base of a tree. --- Royal chambers (day) Gaius: You’re very quiet, sire. Arthur: Pfft. Can you blame me? Gaius: Sarrum does have a reputation. Arthur: Even my father feared him. They say he takes joy in impaling men. Gaius: Not just men, sire. Women and children, too. He also has a fondness for assassinating his friends. Arthur: I doubt we’ll ever be that close. Although, we do share one thing: a hatred for Morgana. Gaius: So you’ve heard the rumours. He once had her under lock and key. Arthur: I’m hoping he’ll tell us more. Gaius: Given Sarrum’s reputation, are you certain it’s wise to seek an alliance? Arthur: If we’re to achieve peace in the five kingdoms, we’ve got little choice. I don’t agree with his regime, Gaius, but dealing with him may be the only way of achieving our aims. Gaius: You’re right, of course. You are becoming a true statesman, Arthur. I hope you realise that. Arthur: I’m going to be late. I’ll tell you this, Gaius, Sarrum wouldn’t put up with an idle-brained servant like Merlin. He’s got a lot to answer for. Gaius: He certainly has. --- Darkling woods (day) Daegal stops walking and Merlin looks back. Merlin: What is it? You’re arm? Daegal shakes his head. Merlin: We need to get to your sister. Daegal hesitates. Merlin: When you last saw her, how bad was she? Daegal: I told you, the life had nearly gone from her. Daegal walks forward and hands the apple back to Merlin. Daegal: Here, I don’t want it. Merlin senses something’s wrong, but follows Daegal. --- Darkling woods (day) Morgana fetches the note that Gwen left. She reads it and smirks. --- Darkling woods (day) Merlin hears a twig snap and looks up to see bandits patrolling. Merlin ducks behind a tree and calls silently to Daegal. Merlin: (telepathy) Daegal, bandits. Daegal keeps walking. Merlin: (telepathy) Get down. Daegal keeps walking. Merlin grabs him and pulls him into hiding. Daegal: What are you doing? Merlin: Shh! Daegal sees the bandits. Merlin: (whisper) Did you hear me? Daegal: No. Merlin knows Daegal is not a druid. Daegal: Thank you. You saved my life. Merlin: It’s not safe yet. Keeping low, Merlin helps Daegal stand up. Merlin: Come on. The sooner we get to your sister, the better. --- Main courtyard (day) Arthur and his knights greet Sarrum’s party. Gwen stands on the balcony. Arthur: We are most grateful to the Sarrum for accepting our invitation and gracing our palace with his presence. We welcome him and his warriors with friendship. Sarrum: The last time I met you, you were ten years old. Uther held a tournament in your honour. Arthur: I fight my own tournaments now. Sarrum: Well, we shall enjoy putting you to the test. --- Valley of The Fallen Kings Daegal: We’re here. She’s just the other side of those trees. Merlin: What’s wrong? Daegal: Nothing. I just hope she’s still alive. Merlin approaches the place. Merlin: There’s no one here. Why have you brought me here? What is this? Daegal: I can explain. Merlin grabs Daegal’s arm angrily. Merlin: You’re not a druid. Merlin pulls up Daegal’s sleeve, revealing that the druid symbol is rubbing off. Merlin: Who are you? Merlin sees Morgana. She throws him with magic, knocking him unconscious. Morgana: You’ve done well. I knew it wouldn’t be difficult. Merlin has a weakness for outcasts. Morgana throws Daegal a purse full of coins. Morgana: Especially druids. Daegal breathes heavily. Daegal: Why are you doing this? Morgana: Because Merlin has meddled in my plans once too often. Morgana crouches over Merlin. Morgana: The agony you feel...you’ll be glad when death comes. Morgana uncorks a bottle and pours black liquid down Merlin’s throat. She kicks him down the hill. Daegal rushes to the edge to look down at him. Daegal: You really going to kll the king? Morgana: Hold your tongue. Not a word of this to anyone. You’re forgetting, I still have a few drops left. Morgana leaves. Daegal looks down at Merlin, then leaves. --- Banquet Hall (night) Arthur: I feel we have much in common. We share many allies and friends. Also an enemy. Sarrum: Sorcery. Arthur: There is a rumour that you held Morgana prisoner. Is it true? This catches Gwen’s attention. Sarrum: She’s nothing to be feared. I kept her like an animal. Arthur seems slightly disturbed. Arthur: How did you capture her? She’s...a sorceress, a high priestess. Sarrum: I found her weakness. Everyone has one, even a high priestess. A young dragon. Her love for that creature caused her to suffer more than she ever imagined possible. But not more than she deserved. I knew that she wouldn’t dare use magic against me, not while her beloved creature was at risk of harm. Arthur stares. Sarrum: Such a shame. All that power, all that beauty, abandoned, forgotten in a living grave. Flashback to Morgana’s imprisonment with Aithusa. Gwen looks away from Sarrum. Arthur: You’re a harsh judge, Lord Sarrum. Sarrum: When it comes to sorcery, we must be merciless. I was not merciless enough. Morgana escaped. A lapse on my part, but I will not be so foolish again. Not that her time with me was entirely wasted. As the dragon grew, the pit became too small. Gradually the creature was crippled and twisted. At night you could hear its cries. They were even more heartbreaking than Morgana. Arthur and Gwen are both repulsed. Gwen stands. Guinevere: I hope the Sarrum will forgive me if I retire for the night. Sarrum gives his consent. Gwen leaves with a smile. --- Woods (night) Gwen leaves the castle and rides to meet Morgana. Morgana: My lady. They embrace. Guinevere: What of Merlin? Morgana: He’s gone to his death, along with everything he knows. And the Sarrum? Guinevere: He’s feasting with Arthur as we speak. Morgana: Then we must talk quickly. We cannot afford an alliance between Amata and Camelot. It would put the throne beyond my reach forever. Gwen shakes her head with a sigh. Morgana: What is troubling you? Guinevere: Sarrum. Are we right to enlist such a man? Is there not another way? Morgana: Do you not see how perfect this plan is? The Sarrum’s reputation precedes him. There’s no deadlier assassin in the five kingdoms. Arthur will not stand a chance. Guinevere: You’re sure he’ll agree? Morgana: You’re forgetting how well I know this man. For two years, his was the only voice I heard. I know the Sarrum. I know his lust for power. He will not refuse your offer. He will think he can control you, but he will reckon without me. Guinevere: And once Arthur is dad? Morgana: The knights will turn on your guest and make you their queen. Gwen smiles. Morgana: But you must promise me something. You must make sure the Sarrum’s last moments are filled with agony. Guinevere: It will be my pleasure. --- Valley of The Fallen Kings Merlin wakes, weak and injured. He tries to heal himself with magic and fails. --- Physician’s chambers Gaius wakes from the table to find Merlin still gone. --- Royal chambers Gwen helps Arthur dress. Arthur: You’re much better at this than Gaius. Guinevere: I was a servant, remember? Arthur: You were always much more than that. Gwen tightens his chest strap too much and Arthur grunts. Guinevere: Stop moving then. Arthur: Ow. I want Merlin back, where is he? Guinevere: You mustn’t be hard on him. Arthur: I am a bit worried. You don’t think something’s happened to him, do you? Guinevere: He’s probably overworked. Maybe just once, let him enjoy himself. Arthur: You’re right. Guinevere: Besides, you’ve got more important things to worry about. She smiles. Guinevere: There. --- Training grounds (day) Sarrum watches as Arthur fights one of his men, Albin. Arthur is actually struggling; Sarrum chuckles. Gwen watches from the window and smiles at Arthur’s floundering attempts. Albin forces Arthur to his knees and poises for a kller blow. The knights of Camelot draw their swords and Sarrum’s warriors ready their spears. Albin looks to Sarrum who holds up a hand to stop. The knights relax and Sarrum approaches Arthur. Arthur doesn’t look too pleased by his defeat. Sarrum: You fight bravely. Arthur: Your man wields a sword better than any fighter I’ve ever met. Sarrum: I trained him myself. Perhaps one day, I’ll teach you. Arthur: Yeah, I’d be honoured. Sarrum pats Arthur on the shoulder and leaves. Arthur seems pleased by the encounter. Gwen thinks for a moment, then smiles. --- Palace corridor Gwen waits for Sarrum, then turns the corner to encounter him. Sarrum: My lady. Guinevere: Your man showed great skill to bat my husband. Sarrum: The men of Amata are born with swords in their hands. Sarrum is about to move on. Guinevere: I can’t help but believe that Camelot would benefit from a leader like you. Sarrum: Mm. Guinevere: You should have let him die. Sarrum looks back at his guards and motions for them to leave. Sarrum: Must have misheard you. Guinevere: I don’t think so. Sarrum: You’re not happy with your husband? Guinevere: I’d be happy if he died tomorrow. If someone can make that happen, I would ensure that they were richly rewarded. Sarrum: I’m not sure I believe you. Guinevere: Hm. Gwen hears footsteps. Guinevere: Meet me outside the king’s solar tonight. We can speak openly there. Gwen leaves and Sarrum considers their conversation. Valley of the Fallen Kings (day) Merlin is dying. Daegal returns, shakes him, and gives him water, which wakes Merlin. Merlin glares at Daegal. Merlin: You came back. Why? Daegal: I couldn’t leave you to die. Merlin: You’re too late. Daegal: No, I can help. You’re a physician. You tell me what to do. Merlin: There’s nothing. Daegal: There must be a cure. You tell me which herbs and I’ll find them for you. Merlin struggles with the pain. Daegal: Come on, what do we need? Merlin: Rue. It’s got yellow flowers. Daegal: And feathery leaves. Merlin: Milfoil. Daegal: Yarrow. Merlin: Ground into a tincture. Daegal takes off to find them. Merlin: Hurry...hurry. Later, Daegal returns with the cure. Daegal: Here. He supports Merlin’s head to drink the cure. Daegal: Here. Daegal offers Merlin water, but Merlin refuses. Merlin: Nothing else. Merlin convulses and goes still. Daegal looks upset. --- Royal Chambers (night) Gaius knocks and enters as Gwen walks behind the curtain. Gaius: Sire? Gwen’s annoyed. Gaius: Arthur? Gwen pauses, then sweeps around the curtain and greets him pleasantly. Guinevere: Gaius. What is it? Gaius: I was looking for the king. Guinevere: He’s at a meeting in the council chambers. Can I help? Gaius: Merlin. I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning. Guinevere: Oh, dear. I do hope there isn’t anything wrong. Gaius: I was wondering, perhaps, if we should send out a search party. Guinevere: I’m sure there’s no need just yet, especially with the Sarrum here. Given his reputation, I think it best we keep the garrison at full strength. Gaius nods. Gaius: Indeed. Gwen smiles and walks to the door. Guinevere: I’ll ask the servants if they’ve seen him. Gaius: Thank you, milady. Gaius seems slightly suspicious. --- King’s solar (night) Sarrum waits for Gwen. Guinevere: Forgive me, I was waylaid. Sarrum: Speak. Guinevere: I have a simple proposition, one that would be mutually beneficial. You kll Arthur, I assume the throne, and in gratitude give one third of Camelot’s lands to Amata. Sarrum: You think the people will accept this? Guinevere: Without a king, I will insist that it’s a necessary price for our protection. Sarrum: And the knights? Guinevere: They will remain loyal to me. They’ll do whatever I say. Sarrum: How do we kll him? The king is surrounded by armed guards at all times. Guinevere: Guards who answer to me. You appoint the assassin, I will deliver the means. Sarrum: I have just the man. Guinevere: Then make him ready. Arthur has proposed a treaty. The signing tomorrow will provide us with the perfect opportunity. Gwen smiles and leaves. --- Valley of the Fallen Kings (night) Daegal sits with the unconscious Merlin. Merlin stirs. Daegal: You’re alive. Merlin sits up slowly. Daegal: You have to believe me, I did not know what Morgana intended. Merlin: You betrayed me. Daegal: She offered me money. You’ve seen what it’s like. Merlin: Do you know what Morgana’s planning? Daegal: No. I met the Lady Morgana and the queen only once. Merlin: I don’t believe you. Daegal looks away. Merlin: Please, whatever you know... Daegal: I think they mean to kll the king. Merlin starts to get up. Daegal: What are you doing? Merlin: I need to warn Arthur before it’s too late. Merlin leaves. Daegal watches him, then follows. Merlin struggles up a hill and sees bandits sitting at camp. Merlin: Bandits. They won’t see us? Daegal: No. Merlin: We’ll edge around the outside. Daegal: They’ll have lookouts. Merlin: We don’t have a choice. We need to get back to Camelot. Merlin runs around the outside of the camp; Daegal follows. Merlin falls down the hill towards the bandits; Daegal helps him up. The bandits close in on them. Merlin: Go. Daegal: No. Merlin: I can look after myself. Daegal: I’m not going to leave you this time. Merlin: Get to safety. The bandits surround them. Merlin: If you value your lives, you won’t take another step. Daegal: What are you doing? Merlin: Trust me. Daegal: Here. It’s all the money we have. Daegal throws Morgana’s gold to the bandits. The bandit points his sword at Merlin. Bandit: You. Empty your pockets. Merlin: Last chance. Bandit: You don’t even have a sword. Merlin: I don’t need one. Magic flashes in Merlin’s eyes and the bandit is thrown backward. Daegal is shocked and the bandits flee. Merlin: Let’s go. Daegal follows. --- Palace, corridor Sarrum and Gwen meet and Sarrum takes her hand and kisses it. Sarrum: My lady, how good to see you. Guinevere: I trust you passed a pleasant night. Sarrum: Most agreeable. They pass each other and Sarrum fingers the key she just gave him. --- Palace, balcony corridor Sarrum walks with Albin. Sarrum: Arthur will be dad by sundown. And then all that stands in our way is a serving girl who plays at being a queen. --- Woods (day) Daegal: You have magic, Merlin. Merlin: Yes. Daegal: And you live in Camelot. Does anyone know? Merlin stops to nurse his wounded leg. Merlin: Only Gaius. Daegal: Not Arthur? Merlin: No. And if he ever found out, he’d probably hang me. Daegal: But you still help him? Merlin: I have to. It’s my job. Daegal: But he would kll you. Merlin: In his heart, he’s a good man, and I know that one day he’ll bring about a world we will dream of. Daegal: That must be hard. Merlin, you may be a warlock, but you need that treated. I’ll help you, please. Pelase. --- Physician’s chambers Gaius checks Merlin’s room, but he’s still gone. --- Royal chambers Gwen grooms herself as Gaius and Arthur enters. Gwen freezes as she overhears their conversation. Gaius: The bed has not been slept in. I fear he’s in danger. Arthur: What do you mean? Gaius: We need to send a search party. Gwen steps out from behind her dressing screen. Guinevere: What’s happened? Arthur: Merlin’s gone missing. Guinevere: Oh, I knew I should’ve said something. Arthur, I feel terrible. This is my fault. I know where Merlin is. Gaius: Where? Guinevere: I shouldn’t say. I promised him I wouldn’t, but...he’s gone to visit someone. Arthur: Who? Guinevere: He’s not in danger. He’s seeing a girl. Arthur: Merlin? Guinevere: Gaius, I’m sorry, but there is no reason to worry. Arthur: Except for the poor girl. Guinevere: I should’ve told you, but I don’t think he wanted anyone to know. Gaius obviously knows she’s lying. Gaius: Thank you, milady. Arthur: Good. Then we can get on with the signing. Gaius, you can help me get dressed. Gaius looks at Gwen, who smiles with a shrug and goes back to her grooming. --- Woods Daegal bandages Merlin’s leg. Merlin: You’ve done well. Daegal: Really? I don’t think I’ve done many good things in my life. Merlin: Well, you’ve done something good now. See? I’m better. You’ve the gift. Daegal: Must be from my mother. Merlin: So that bit was true? Daegal: It was all true. Except about my sister. Merlin: She isn’t sick? Daegal: (chuckle) I don’t have a sister. Merlin: (exhale/chuckle) And you mother? She wasn’t a druid? Daegal helps Merlin stand. Daegal: No, but she was like you. She had magic, and Uther klled her for it. Merlin: I’m sorry. Merlin looks at his leg. Merlin: Feels good. Merlin starts walking and Daegal follows. --- Griffin staircase Gwen and Arthur walk down arm in arm. Arthur: What a momentous day this is for Camelot. Guinevere: Indeed, my lord. It marks the beginning of a new era. --- Palace Albin tests a crossbow. Merlin and Daegal approach the citadel. Arthur and Sarrum enter the great hall with their entourages. Merlin looks for Arthur. Albin walks to his perch. Merlin stumbles on the stairs and conveniently grabs a spear for a crutch. The entourages gather near the round table and Albin takes his place. Merlin pauses, hearing the wind blow through an open door. Daegal: What's wrong? Merlin: This should be locked. Merlin and Daegal climb the spiral staircase that Albin just took. Sarrum stalls signing the treaty. He leans forward slowly, looking up as Albin takes aim. Gwen anticipates the moment. Merlin and Daegal step into the balcony and Albin switches his aim to kll them. Merlin magics the arrow past him. Daegal throws two knives and they drop for cover. Sarrum is about to sign, Gwen is anxious, Albin aims back at Arthur. Merlin magics the convenient spear at Albin, klling him and diverting Albin's sht into Sarrum's chest. Albin and Sarrum die. Arthur: Leon! Arthur points to the balcony. Gaius steps forward to check Sarrum. And Gwen nods to Arthur that she's all right. Knights follow Leon out. Gwen is upset by the failure. Merlin gets up to check Albin and view the scene below. Merlin turns to Daegal. Merlin: We did it. Daegal lies against the wall with a dagger in his stomach. Merlin goes to him. Daegal: Did I save Arthur? Merlin: Yes. Daegal: Did I do something good? Merlin nods. Daegal: Finally, eh? Daegal dies. Merlin: You did. --- Royal chambers Arthur: I still can't believe how lucky I was. I owe that boy my life and I don't know who he was or where he's from. You need to make sure you give him a decent burial. Merlin: I'll do that. If you'll allow me the time. Merlin serves dinner. Arthur: Oh, so you can go and visit that girl again. Gwen looks at Arthur. Merlin: What? Arthur: The girl. Merlin: Don't have one. Arthur: That's not what Guinevere tells me. Merlin pauses, then turns to look at Gwen. She smiles at him. Arthur: So, why don't you tell us all about her? Merlin pours Arthur's wine, then looks at Gwen. She holds out her glass and raises her eyebrows. Merlin: Right. Merlin pours Gwen's drink. Arthur: And why you're walking with a limp. Gwen quirks an eyebrow at Merlin and they stare each other down. --- Woods Merlin and Gaius stand by Daegal's grave. Merlin places a plant by it. Merlin: His life had only gn. Merlin and Gaius walk away. Merlin: It can't go on, Gaius. Gaius: Gwen? Merlin: We have to do something about her. Gaius: Yes, but the question is, "what?" Merlin strides with a determined look on his face.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x08 - The Hollow Queen"}	foreverdreaming
KILGHARRAH: In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name: Merlin. [NEW SCENE: GUINEVERE IS WALKING THROUGH A DARK CORRIDOR IN THE CASTLE, KEEPING TO THE SHADOWS, AND IS JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE WHEN PERCIVAL SEES HER.] PERCIVAL: You there! Show yourself. [GUINEVERE TURNS AROUND TO FACE HIM, TO HIS SURPRISE.] PERCIVAL: Your Highness. Are you alright? Is something wrong? GUINEVERE: No, no. All is well. PERCIVAL: It's dangerous to be out at such an hour. GUINEVERE: I am grateful you are so scrupulous in your duties. PERCIVAL: It's not where I thought to have found you, Your Highness. GUINEVERE: One does not always wish to be "Your Highness", Percival. I miss the old town, its streets, its people, so I go back sometimes. PERCIVAL: Is that wise? GUINEVERE: Well, people only see a Queen when they expect to. PERCIVAL: All the same- GUINEVERE: And it reminds me of Elyan... and I need that sometimes. PERCIVAL: Of course. I understand. GUINEVERE: I'm not sure Arthur would. PERCIVAL: I won't mention it. GUINEVERE: Thank you. [NEW SCENE: GUINEVERE IS MEETING MORGANA IN THE WOODS.] MORGANA: You're late. GUINEVERE: I'm sorry. MORGANA: Was there a problem? GUINEVERE: Nothing I could not handle. MORGANA: Did you get what I asked for? [GUINEVERE HANDS MORGANA A SCROLL.] GUINEVERE: It wasn't easy. It details the route the levy collection will take, the names of the knights, their arms, and the day they depart. MORGANA: You've done well, Gwen. GUINEVERE: How can it further our cause? [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR WATCHING GUINEVERE TALK WITH MORGANA. THEIR WORDS ARE INAUDIBLE. HE UNSHEATHES HIS SWORD BUT MERLIN STOPS HIM.] MERLIN: No, my lord! Morgana's too powerful. Now is not the time. ARTHUR: How could she do this? MERLIN: She's not the Gwen you love. She has fallen pray to a dark and powerful magic. ARTHUR: If I lose her, I lose everything. MERLIN: We'll find a way to bring her back, Arthur. I promise. OPENING CREDITS [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR AND GUINEVERE ARE HAVING BREAKFAST IN THEIR CHAMBERS. ARTHUR IS STARING AT HER. HIS PLATE IS FULL AND HE HOLDS A PIECE OF FOOD IN ONE HAND BUT DOESN'T EAT IT.] GUINEVERE: I thought I might ride this morning. ARTHUR: Yes? GUINEVERE: Would you like to join me? ARTHUR: That won't be possible. GUINEVERE: Oh. Perhaps this afternoon then? ARTHUR: Perhaps. GUINEVERE: Arthur, is everything all right? ARTHUR: What do you mean? GUINEVERE: You seem distracted. ARTHUR: Not at all. Pressing matters of state, that's all. I'm sorry. GUINEVERE: I understand. Is there anything I can help you with? ARTHUR (shakes his head): That won't be necessary. [ARTHUR GETS UP AND LEAVES, WITH HIS FOOD HARDLY TOUCHED.] GUINEVERE: You've hardly eaten! ARTHUR: I have a training session I must attend to. GUINEVERE: Well, perhaps I will see you later? [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR WALKS INTO A SECRET ROOM WITH MORDRED AND LEON AND LOCKS THE DOOR. HE UNFURLS A SCROLL ON THE TABLE.] ARTHUR: Gentlemen. This is the new route to collect the levy. Commit it to memory. MORDRED: My Lord? ARTHUR: You are to tell no one that we have changed the plans until the patrol is on its way. Is that understood? LEON: Sire. ARTHUR: Mordred? MORDRED: Of course. But may I ask why we're changing the route, my lord? It's another day's ride. ARTHUR: I can't tell you that. I just ask you trust me. [LEON AND MORDRED NOD.] ARTHUR: Good. You leave in three days. [MORDRED WATCHES AS ARTHUR BURNS THE SCROLL WITH THE NEW ROUTE.] [NEW SCENE: MERLIN IS LOOKING FOR SPELLS TO HELP GUINEVERE IN GAIUS'S CHAMBERS.] MERLIN: Why did I promise to help Gwen? I have no idea what to do. Is there really no remedy? GAIUS: If Gwen has suffered what I suspect then no, I fear not. MERLIN: You know what happened to her? GAIUS: When I was young, I heard about an ancient ritual of the Old Religion called the Teine Diaga. MERLIN: Teine Diaga? GAIUS: The sacred fre. The ritual used the mandrake root to bring unimaginable terror to the victim. Their screams could be heard twenty leagues away. When it was finally over, their will was no longer their own. They were slaves of the high priestesses for eternity. MERLIN: Who performed this ritual? Where? GAIUS: I've told you all I know. Such mysteries were revealed only to a handful of female initiates. As a boy, I was privy only to rumors. MERLIN: There must be someone who can help. GAIUS: I can only think of two people who truly know the Old Ways. One is Morgana Pendragon... [NEW SCENE: MERLIN WALKS TOWARDS A CAVE. BEFORE ENTERING, HE DRINKS AN AGEING POTION, TURNING HIMSELF INTO DRAGOON THE GREAT.] GAIUS: The other is the Dochraid. But be warned, Merlin. The Dochraid cannot be trusted. She must never know your true identity. DOCHRAID: Who dares enter the sacred cave? DRAGOON: I come to petition the Dochraid. DOCHRAID: Give me your hand. [DRAGOON APPROACHES AND GIVES HER HIS HAND. SHE SNIFFS IT AND PUSHES IT AWAY IN DISGUST.] DOCHRAID: I smell the stench of enmity. DRAGOON: I come in peace. In friendship. DOCHRAID: You are no friend of the Old Religion. No friend of Morgana Pendragon. DRAGOON: Great Dochraid- DOCHRAID: Silence! I know you, Emrys. Your Queen will find no relief here. DRAGOON: How do you know why I come? DOCHRAID: I am the Dochraid. The Earth speaks to me. You are not welcome here. Depart! DRAGOON: Oh, I cannot do that. Not until I have what I came for. DOCHRAID: You dare challenge me, the ancient Dochraid? You? A puny sorceror? DRAGOON: And yet I will have what I came for. DOCHRAID: I am a creature of the Earth. You cannot kll me. [DRAGOON TAKES OUT EXCALIBUR AND SHOWS IT TO THE DOCHRAID, WHO RECOILS IN FEAR.] DRAGOON: This sword was forged in a dragon's breath and it will do my bidding. DOCHRAID: You do not have the power to wield such a wapon. [DRAGOON SWINGS THE SWORD AND SLICES THE DOCHRAID'S ARM. SHE CRIES OUT IN PAIN AND COVERS THE WOUND WITH HER HAND.] DRAGOON: I wish you no furthur harm, Dochraid. Tell me what I need to know. DOCHRAID: Your Queen is doomed, Emrys. Her spirit has been consumed by the Teine Diaga. Bound by the silver wheel for all eternity. Her body is nothing but an empty vessel filled by the will of another. DRAGOON: Morgana. DOCHRAID: Once she has served her purpose, then that too will be cast away. DRAGOON: How do I break this spell? DOCHRAID: Only the greatest of sorcerers can attempt such a thing. [DRAGOON POINTS THE SWORD AT THE DOCHRAID AGAIN. SHE RECOILS IN FEAR.] DRAGOON: How? DOCHRAID: You must travel to the Cauldron of Arianrhod. There you will need all of your powers, for you must summon the White Goddess herself. [DRAGOON BRINGS THE SWORD CLOSER TO THE DOCHRAID, WHO RECOILS FROM THE thrat.] DRAGOON: And that is all? DOCHRAID: No, Emrys. The Queen must enter the Cauldron. Its waters hold the Goddess' power. Only their touch can heal her. Remember, Emrys, the Queen must enter the water willingly. If she is tricked, forced or beguiled, she will fall into the abyss and be lost forever. [DRAGOON LOWERS EXCALIBUR.] DRAGOON: Thank you, Great Dochraid. Thank you. [DRAGOON STARTS TO LEAVE THE CAVE BUT THE DOCHRAID USES MAGIC TO THROW A DAGGER AT HIM. DRAGOON USES MAGIC TO REPEL IT AND attcks THE DOCHRAID WITH EXCALIBUR AGAIN, WOUNDING HER. SHE CRIES OUT IN AGONY, DOUBLING OVER. HE LOOKS DOWN AT HER FOR A MOMENT AND THEN LEAVES THE CAVE.] [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR IS LOOKING OUTSIDE THE WINDOW AND SEES MERLIN RETURN FROM HIS EXPEDITION. MORDRED APPROACHES ARTHUR.] MORDRED: Sire? Is all well? ARTHUR: Yes. Thank you. MORDRED: If there's anything I can do... ARTHUR: I'm sorry? MORDRED: Just wanted you to know I'm always at your service. ARTHUR: I never doubted it, Mordred. [MORDRED NODS HIS HEAD AT ARTHUR AND LEAVES. ARTHUR GOES BACK TO STARING OUT THE WINDOW.] [NEW SCENE: MERLIN LEADS THE WAY INTO THE PHYSICIAN'S QUARTERS, SPEAKING TO GAIUS ABOUT WHAT THE DOCHRAID TOLD HIM.] MERLIN: There are too many things to go wrong. And summoning the White Goddess? That may be beyond me. GAIUS: I think not. Merlin, the only person who ever doubts your power is you. MERLIN: And even if I do manage that, we need to get Gwen to the Cauldron in the first place and she's hardly likely to go willingly. GAIUS: I've already thought of that. [GAIUS SHOWS MERLIN A POTION. MERLIN TAKES THE POTION BOTTLE AND INSPECTS IT.] MERLIN: Tincture of Belladona? GAIUS: All that studying has already paid off. MERLIN: It's a powerful and dangerous drug, Gaius. GAIUS: More dangerous than the traitor in the heart of Camelot? MERLIN: Besides, Gwen needs to be conscious when she enters the Cauldron. She must do so of her own free will or the spell will not be broken. GAIUS: That, I agree, may not be within our powers. MERLIN: Well then, the rest is futile. GAIUS: But there is for someone whom it is possible. MERLIN: Arthur? [GAIUS NODS CONFIRMATION.] GAIUS: Only he can reach the part of Gwen that remains true. MERLIN: It won't work. GAIUS: You underestimate the power of love, Merlin. MERLIN: No, not that. Me. How can I use my magic with Arthur there? He'd discover me in an instant. GAIUS: Not if he didn't recognize you. MERLIN: (chuckles) No. No, not again. You know how exhausting the ageing spell is, Gaius. I don't have to strength to do that and perform the ceremony. GAIUS: Then you must find the strength. [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR, GAIUS AND MERLIN TALKING PRIVATELY IN A HIDDEN ROOM.] ARTHUR: This tincture of Belladona, what are its effects? GAIUS: The patient is rendered into a deep sleep. ARTHUR: Patient?! GAIUS: It is generally used for the badly wounded. ARTHUR: How long does it last? GAIUS: A few hours. It has to be administered several times a day to provide a continuous sleep. MERLIN: But for no more than three days. GAIUS: It is true, Sire. The tincture should not be taken for an extended period. ARTHUR: Or? MERLIN: The body will not tolerate it. ARTHUR: Thank you, Merlin. GAIUS: Three days is time enough to ride to the Cauldron of Arianrhod. ARTHUR: You've done the journey yourself, have you? GAIUS: I cannot claim to- ARTHUR: Any mishap, any unexpected circumstance will- GAIUS: There is no reason to suspect that all will not go well. My Lord, if we do nothing, Gwen is already taken from you. ARTHUR: Merlin? [ARTHUR AND MERLIN EXCHANGE A GLANCE AGREEING TO DO THIS.] ARTHUR: Summoning this Goddess, will it require magic? GAIUS: It is a ritual that can only be performed by a sorcerer. It is the only way, Sire. Sorcery has to be fought with sorcery. ARTHUR: I'll be breaking my own decrees. GAIUS: To save your Queen, to save your wife. ARTHUR: Very well. It's decided. There'll be a sorcerer. Can he be trusted? GAIUS: Upon my life. ARTHUR: You assured me so once before, Gaius, but my father died in the hands of such a man. GAIUS: This sorcerer will be entirely different. ARTHUR: How can you be sure? GAIUS: Because, Sire, this time I have chosen... a woman. [MERLIN GIVES GAIUS A STRANGE LOOK.] [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR WALKS IN HIS CHAMBERS THINKING. GUINEVERE WALKS UP BEHIND HIM.] GUINEVERE: How was the training, my Lord? ARTHUR: Fine. GUINEVERE: Did you win? Lose? ARTHUR: A little of both. GUINEVERE: You're a terrible liar, Arthur. You're wearing the same clothes you were this morning and your armor remains untouched. I'm not a fool. Wherever you've been, it wasn't the training ground. ARTHUR: I um- GUINEVERE: Have I done somthing wrong? Spoken out of turn? Said something I shouldn't? I'm your wife, Arthur! I wouldn't see you hurt for the world. Now tell me what's troubling you. ARTHUR (sadly): I love you, Guinevere, more than you can imagine. There isn't anything I would not do for you. GUINEVERE: I know, I- [ARTHUR PULLS GUINEVERE INTO A STRONG EMBRACE. GUINEVERE IS LOOKING PUZZLED AND ARTHUR IS LOOKING OUT REALLY SADLY.] [NEW SCENE: MERLIN IN GAIUS'S CHAMBERS TRYING ON A BLACK DRESS.] MERLIN: What do you think? GAIUS: Ah. Well, it quite suits you, actually. MERLIN (laughs): Thanks. [MERLIN STARTS HEADING TO HIS ROOM.] GAIUS: You're forgetting one thing. [MERLIN STOPS AND TURNS BACK TO GAIUS, LOOKING PUZZLED.] MERLIN: I think it needs a belt. [MERLIN STARTS HEADING BACK TO HIS ROOM WHEN GAIUS CALLS HIM BACK AGAIN HOLDING THE BELLADONA POTION.] GAIUS: Remember, you have to administer two drops every two hours to keep Gwen asleep. [MERLIN GOES TO HIS ROOM TO GRAB HIS THINGS FOR THE TRIP AND COMES BACK DOWN AND TAKES THE POTION FROM GAIUS.] MERLIN: Do you really think we can succeed, Gaius? GAIUS: We must. [GAIUS AND MERLIN LEAVE THE ROOM] [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR, GAIUS AND GUINEVERE ARE EATING IN THE ROYAL CHAMBERS. MERLIN POURS THE BELLADONA IN THE PITCHER AND ATTEMPTS TO GIVE GUINEVERE A DRINK.] MERLIN: Wine, my Lady? GUINEVERE: Not tonight thanks, Merlin. [MERLIN FAILS TO POUR THE WINE IN GUINEVERE'S GOBLET AND LOOKS AT ARTHUR AND GAIUS FOR HELP. ARTHUR RAISES HIS GLASS] ARTHUR: A toast. GUINEVERE: My Lord? ARTHUR: A toast to... A toast to the Queen. GUINEVERE: Me? What have I done? GAIUS: Just being yourself, Your Highness. GUINEVERE: You're very kind, Gaius, but shouldn't it rather be to Camelot? [MERLIN POURS GUINEVERE SOME WINE] ARTHUR, MERLIN, GAIUS: To Camelot. ARTHUR: Yes, to Camelot. GUINEVERE: To Camelot [EVERYONE TAKES A DRINK FROM THEIR GOBLETS. GAIUS, ARTHUR AND MERLIN START STARING AT GUINEVERE, WAITING FOR THE BELLADONNA TO TAKE AFFECT. FOR A MOMENT, GUINEVERE SEEMS UNAFFECTED, TO THEIR CONCERN.] GUINEVERE: You haven't eaten, my Lord. ARTHUR: No, I hav- [GUINEVERE PASSES OUT AND MERLIN PUSHES A PLATE OF SOFT BREAD UNDER HER HEAD SO SHE DOES NOT ht THE TABLE. THEY ALL SPRING INTO ACTION.] ARTHUR: You're sure this is safe, Gaius? GAIUS: I'd stake my life on it, Sire. ARTHUR: You may have to. [MERLIN WHEELS IN A SMALL WHEELBARROW WITH A CLOTH FOLDED ON IT.] ARTHUR: She's still a Queen! MERLIN: It was the best I could do. GAIUS: We have to hurry, Sire. [ARTHUR AND MERLIN START TO PLACE GUINEVERE ON THE WHEELBARROW.] ARTHUR: Careful... [ARTHUR EASES THE REST OF GUINEVERE ON THE WHEELBARROW. MERLIN DRAPES A SHEET OVER HER BODY TO CONCEAL HER.] MERLIN: There. No one will know. ARTHUR: Gaius, you're sure this is going to work? GAIUS: You'll be amazed at how much licence old age lends you, Sire. Merlin, come. We meet at the Darkling Woods. [MERLIN STARTS TO STEER GUINEVERE OUT OF THE ROOM.] ARTHUR: Merlin, if you drop her... MERLIN: I know. I lose my head. ARTHUR: Just so we're clear. [MERLIN LEAVES THE ROOM WITH GUINEVERE. ARTHUR CLOSES THE DOOR AND PREPARES FOR THE JOURNEY.] [NEW SCENE: GAIUS AND MERLIN ARE TAKING GUINEVERE TO THE DARKLING WOODS. THEY PASS TWO KNIGHTS.] GAIUS: Keep up, boy! Keep up! [THE KNIGHTS AND GAIUS LET MERLIN PASS AND GAIUS ADDRESSES THE KNIGHTS.] GAIUS: Why I keep him is beyond me. [THEY CONTINUE ON.] GAIUS: Are you alright? MERLIN: She's a lot heavier than she looks. GAIUS: That might very well be grounds for treason. MERLIN: Oh, dear. [GAIUS AND MERLIN BUMP INTO GWAINE AND MORDRED.] GWAINE: Ah! Gaius and Merlin. MORDRED: And a barrow of linen. GAIUS: Sir Gwaine, Sir Mordred. GWAINE: Planning on changing a bed? MORDRED: Or perhaps to run up some clothes? [MORDRED REACHES FOR THE SHEET COVERING GUINEVERE AND MERLIN PULLS AWAY.] GAIUS: Don't touch that. Not unless you want to risk an attck of Red Thrush Fever. GWAINE: I never heard of it? GAIUS: Ah, then you are fortunate indeed. More fortunate than the young man who just died in these very bedclothes. They have to be brned immediately. The last thing Camelot needs is an outbreak of Red Thrush Fever. Is it not? GWAINE (looking concerned): Yes, of course. Sorry. [MORDRED AND GWAINE ALLOW MERLIN AND GAIUS TO PASS BY AND THEY ALL HEAD ON THEIR WAY, BUT THEN GWAINE STOPS THEM.] GWAINE: Gaius? GAIUS: Sire? GWAINE: What is the name of the unfortunate young man? So that I may send somthing to his family. GAIUS: Timothy [GAIUS AND MERLIN CONTINUE ON THEIR WAY BUT NOT BEFORE MORDRED TURNS BACK AND SEES GUINEVERE'S HAND FALL FROM UNDER THE SHEET.] [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR IS WAITING IN THE FOREST FOR MERLIN AND GAIUS TO BRING GUINEVERE. HE LOOKS OVER TO JUST SEE GAIUS WALKING TO HIM.] ARTHUR: Where's Merlin? GAIUS: It's alright, Sire. He comes. [MERLIN COMES UP BEHIND GAIUS BRINGING GUINEVERE.] ARTHUR: What kept you? MERLIN: Do you have any idea how steep those slopes are? [WHEN MERLIN GETS TO ARTHUR, ARTHUR TAKES OFF THE SHEET TO REVEAL GUINEVERE.] ARTHUR: She looks so innocent. Perfect. GAIUS: She still is, Sire. The only evil in her is Morgana's. Come, you must be on your way. [ARTHUR TAKES GUINEVERE IN HIS ARMS AND BRINGS HER TO THE HORSES AND MERLIN BRIEFLY HUGS GAIUS GOODBYE.] [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR AND GUINEVERE ARE RIDING THROUGH THE FOREST TOWARDS THE CAULDRON OF ARIANRHOD.] [NEW SCENE: THE DOCHRAID'S SACRED CAVE.] DOCHRAID: Gehaele thisne lichaman. Gestrangeme nu mihtig hie to forwarniene; yfel is on ofost. [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR AND MERLIN HAVE REACHED THE MOUNTAINS AND HAVE STOPPED TO PLAN THEIR NEXT MOVE.] MERLIN: The sorceress lives at the westernmost peak. ARTHUR: That would be the highest. It always is, isn't it? Better get started, then. [MERLIN LOOKS BEHIND THEM AND STOPS ARTHUR BECAUSE HE SENSES SOMEONE WATCHING THEM.] MERLIN: Wait... We're being watched. ARTHUR: One of your funny feelings again? That's alright, then. [ARTHUR AND MERLIN START TO CONTINUE THROUGH THE MOUNTIAN PASS.] ARTHUR: We'll tether the horses here. It'll be quicker on foot. [ARTHUR AND MERLIN STOP TO TIE THE HORSES AND CONTINUE ON FOOT.] MERLIN: What about the supplies? ARTHUR: You'll manage. MERLIN: I can't take it all. ARTHUR: I'll be carrying Guinevere. MERLIN: She's half the weight of that lot. ARTHUR: Are you suggesting that I risk the safety of the Queen and carry even more? MERLIN: I could take her an- ARTHUR: She's my wife. MERLIN: I'd be careful. ARTHUR: And you're the servant. [NEW SCENE: THE DOCHRAID'S CAVE.] DOCHRAID: Fleoge thu swa swa se windraesgrimsath. [AS THE DOCHRAID CHANTS, SHE ATTACHES A MESSAGE TO A CROW'S LEG. WHEN SHE FINISHES HER CHANT, THE CROW FLIES OUT OF THE CAVE.] [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR AND MERLIN ARE WALKING WITH GUINEVERE ALONG THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF OF THE MOUNTAIN.] ARTHUR: These funny feelings of yours... MERLIN: They're not funny. ARTHUR: Stupid, then. Where do they come from, do you think? Are you still there, Merlin? Don't tell me you've gone into a sulk. MERLIN: I'm not sulking. I'm carrying a load even a horse would struggle under. ARTHUR: Do you good. MERLIN: How come it wouldn't do you good? ARTHUR: I'm already good. MERLIN: Well maybe I- [MERLIN FALLS DOWN THE CLIFF WITHOUT ARTHUR NOTICING.] ARTHUR: Merlin? [ARTHUR TURNS AROUND AND MERLIN IS GONE.] ARTHUR: Merlin? [ARTHUR SETS GUINEVERE DOWN ON THE GROUND AND LOOKS OVER THE CLIFF TO FIND MERLIN UNCONSCIOUS.] ARTHUR: Merlin?!! [ARTHUR STARTS TO CLIMB DOWN THE CLIFF TO MERLIN BUT SLIPS AND FALLS WITH SOME ROCKS.] [NEW SCENE: MORGANA RECIEVES THE NOTE FROM THE DOCHRAID. SHE WALKS TO WHERE AITHUSA IS HIDING AND READS THE NOTE.] DOCHRAID'S VOICE: Emrys is working to foil your plans. He means to cleanse Guinevere at the Cauldron of Arianrhod. MORGANA: No! [AITHUSA GROWLS.] MORGANA: You must help me, Aithusa. This cannot be. [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR AND MERLIN ARE UNCONSCIOUS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CLIFF. ARTHUR WAKES UP TO FIND HIS ARM TRAPPED BETWEEN TWO BOULDERS. HE TRIES TO KICK MERLIN AWAKE, BUT CAN'T REACH HIM.] ARTHUR: Merlin! Merlin! [ARTHUR TRIES TO FREE HIS HAND BUT IT'S STUCK. HE PREPARES TO CUT HIS ARM OFF WHEN...] MORDRED: ARTHUR!!! [HE LOOKS UP TO SEE MORDRED AT THE TOP OF THE CLIFF WITH A ROPE IN HAND. A BIG WAVE OF RELIEF FLOODS THROUGH HIM.] ARTHUR: Check on Guinevere. MORDRED: I already have, Sire. She sleeps soundly. [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR, MERLIN AND MORDRED AROUND A CAMPFIRE IN THE MOUNTAIN PASS. GUINEVERE SLEEPING SOUNDLY NEXT TO THEM.] MORDRED: It does not seem possible. The Queen has the sweetest of natures. ARTHUR: It was never her. Just Morgana. I'm sorry I didn't confide in you. MORDRED: It's best you didn't. If I hadn't had my suspicions, I wouldn't have followed you. Merlin acting strangely... ARTHUR: Is that so unusual? MORDRED: And the levy route being changed. ARTHUR: You had a funny feeling. MORDRED: My Lord? ARTHUR: I'm glad that you did, Mordred. Without you, I fear I would have lost my arm at the very least. MERLIN: I would have woken. ARTHUR: Merlin, if I had to rely on your timekeeping, I'd have lost both my arms and my legs to boot. It's good to have you with us. Three's always better than two, isn't that right, Merlin? MERLIN: Of course. It's time. ARTHUR: I'll do it. MERLIN: Two drops only. [ARTHUR GOES TO GIVE GUINEVERE THE BELLADONA LEAVING MERLIN AND MORDRED ALONE. MORDRED GOES AND CROUCHES NEXT TO MERLIN.] MORDRED: You don't trust me, do you, Merlin? MERLIN: I believe you to be a... fine knight. MORDRED: But not one to be trusted. It's alright. I know you have the King's best interests at heart. I only wish you'd believe that I do too. One day, I shall prove my loyalty to you and to the King. Then I hope we may be friends. MERLIN: I could wish for nothing more. [NEW SCENE: MORDRED, MERLIN AND ARTHUR, WHO IS CARRYING GUINEVERE, CONTINUE THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN PASS LOOKING FOR THE CAULDRON. THEY PASS BY A BUNCH OF BANNERS.] MORDRED: What's the meaning of these banners? MERLIN: Marks the way for pilgrims. This is a sacred site for those who follow the Old Religion. ARTHUR: How do you know such things? MERLIN: Gaius told me. [MORGANA IS WATCHING FROM A DISTANCE.] ARTHUR: How much further? MERLIN: Not far. This gorge leads to the Cauldron. [AITHUSA SCREAMS.] [AITHUSA FLIES TOWARDS THEM AND BLOWS fre TOWARDS THEM. ARTHUR SWINGS GUINEVERE FROM HARMS WAY AND LEADS THE OTHERS BETWEEN SOME BOULDERS.] ARTHUR: Here! [BEFORE HIDING MERLIN LOOKS AROUND FOR SIGNS OF MORGANA. HE THEN JOINS ARTHUR AND MORDRED BEHIND THE BOULDER.] ARTHUR: Morgana must be close. MERLIN: You go. I'll distract it. ARTHUR: No. MERLIN: You must. ARTHUR: You're the only one who knows where the sorcerer is. MERLIN: Arthur!! [AITHUSA SWOOPS BY THE BOULDER.] MORDRED: Get Gwen to safety, Sire. We'll cover you and join you beyond the gorge. ARTHUR: Very well. [ARTHUR LEAVES MERLIN AND MORDRED AND TAKES GUINEVERE TO SAFETY.] MERLIN: Stay here. I'll divert the creature. MORDRED: Merlin, you can't. MERLIN: I know what I'm doing, Mordred. [MERLIN RUNS OUT INTO THE OPEN WITH AITHUSA SWOOPING AROUND. AITHUSA STARTS TO attck MERLIN BUT HE TELLS HER (IN DRAGON TONGUE) TO LEAVE AND STOP HER attck. SHE OBEYS AND MERLIN GOES BACK TO MORDRED. HE STARTS TO GRAB THE SUPPLIES.] MORDRED: What happened? Merlin? MERLIN: Come on. MORDRED: The dragon... MERLIN: We need to move. [THEY START RUNNING TO WHERE ARTHUR IS BUT MORGANA IS BEHIND THEM AND INTERCEPTS THEM. SHE FLINGS THEM THROUGH THE AIR AND KNOCKS OUT MORDRED. MERLIN, STILL CONSCIOUS, GETS UP AND FLEES TO ARTHUR.] ARTHUR: Merlin! Where's Mordred? [MERLIN JUST SHAKES HIS HEAD. ARTHUR GETS UP AND TRIES TO GET PAST MERLIN TO HELP MORDRED BUT MERLIN STOPS HIM.] MERLIN: No, Arthur. ARTHUR: I won't leave a knight behind. MERLIN: I saw Morgana. Mordred's given us a chance. We can't throw it away. [NEW SCENE: MORDRED LAYING IN THE ROAD AND MORGANA SLOWLY STROKES HER FINGERS ACROSS HIS FACE TO WAKE HIM UP. HE STIRS AND LOOKS AT MORGANA.] MORDRED: Why don't you kll me? MORGANA: My argument's not with you, Mordred. How could it be? We're of a kind. [MORDRED PULLS HIMSELF TO HIS FEET AND BACKS AWAY FROM MORGANA.] MORDRED: Never. MORGANA: You wear the uniform well but we both know what lies beneath. Do you think Arthur would tolerate you for one minute if he knew the truth? One of his knights, a sorcerer. MORDRED: One day he will know. One day we will be accepted. MORGANA: Your naïveté would be charming if it wasn't so dangerous. Where's Emrys? MORDRED: Emrys? MORGANA: You pretend you do not know of whom I speak? MORDRED: It is a name I've only heard of. MORGANA: He's not here? With you? MORDRED: If he was, would we both not feel the presence of such a great sorcerer? [MORGANA LOOKS FRIGHTENED AND UNCERTAIN. MORDRED WATCHES HER.] MORGANA: Then I have no further use for you. [MORGANA RAISES HER HAND TO CAST A SPELL.] MORDRED: You would strike one of your own? [MORGANA HESITATES, LOWERING HER HAND.] MORDRED: I am not strong enough to defeat you, Morgana, but know this. Such hatred as yours can never triumph. I hope one day you will find the love and compassion which used to fill your heart. [MORGANA IS VISIBLY MOVED TO NEAR TEARS BY HIS WORDS. MORDRED TAKES ADVANTAGE OF HER DISTRACTION AND USES HIS MAGIC TO THROW HER BACKWARDS. SHE IS RENDERED UNCONSCIOUS BY THE IMPACT OF HER FALL. MORDRED SLOWLY LOWERS HIS HAND.] [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR CARRIES GUINEVERE TOWARDS THE CAULDRON OF ARIANRHOD, WITH MERLIN FOLLOWING.] MERLIN: It's as Gaius described. The Cauldron of Arianrhod. [MERLIN SETS DOWN THE SUPPLIES, SIGHING AS HE IS RELIEVED OF HIS HEAVY BURDENS. ARTHUR SETS GUINEVERE DOWN NEAR THE EDGE OF THE WATER.] ARTHUR: Where's the sorceress? MERLIN: Gaius says she's a recluse. She shuns the company of men. ARTHUR: She's going to have to make an exception. We haven't got much time. Guinevere could wake up at any moment. MERLIN: We've got more tincture. ARTHUR: No! No more. I won't risk it. We have to find her. MERLIN: I'll search her out. [MERLIN GRABS ONE OF THE BAGS TO BRING WITH HIM. A BLACK DRESS FALLS OUT OF THE BAG AND ARTHUR NOTICES IT. MERLIN PICKS THE DRESS UP AND STUFFS IT BACK INTO THE BAG.] MERLIN: You didn't think this was going to be free, did you? ARTHUR: What are you talking about? MERLIN: The sorceress. She likes to be paid in clothes. She can't get to a tailor. ARTHUR: Why would a recluse be interested in clothes? MERLIN: I don't know, Arthur. She's a sorceress. She's not going to be normal, is she? [NEW SCENE: MERLIN MOVES TO A CONCEALED SPOT, TAKES THE DRESS OUT OF THE BAG AND STARTS TO PUT IT ON OVER HIS CLOTHES.] [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR SITS NEXT TO THE UNCONSCIOUS GUINEVERE.] ARTHUR: Not long now, my love. [ARTHUR HEARS THE SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS AND LOOKS UP TO SEE MORDRED RUNNING TOWARDS HIM.] ARTHUR: Mordred! I thought we'd lost you. [ARTHUR AND MORDRED CLASP ARMS.] MORDRED: So did I. ARTHUR: How did you escape Morgana? MORDRED: Even she is no match for a Knight of the Round Table. ARTHUR: Seriously, Mordred. [ARTHUR IS INTERRUPTED BY THE SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS AND MERLIN COMES TOWARDS THEM, DISGUISED AS AN OLD WOMAN: THE DOLMA. ARTHUR RECOGNISES HER DRESS AS THE ONE MERLIN BROUGHT.] ARTHUR: Now it makes sense. Merlin said she had trouble getting clothes. THE DOLMA: Who are you? What business have you in this sacred place? ARTHUR: Are you the Dolma, ancient sorceress of the Cauldron of Arianrhod? [THE DOLMA EXTENDS HER HANDS AND INCLINES HER HEAD.] THE DOLMA: Who else would I be? ARTHUR: (to Mordred) Does she look familiar to you? MORDRED: There is something... THE DOLMA: What say you? Why do you mutter? ARTHUR: You look familiar, sorceress. THE DOLMA: (raises a hand to touch her hair and head covering) Oh. Is that so? ARTHUR: It is. MORDRED: My lord, where's Merlin? [ARTHUR LOOKS TO THE DOLMA WITH SUSPICION, PREPARING TO UNSHEATH HIS SWORD.] ARTHUR: What have you done with my servant? THE DOLMA: Oh... The gangly boy. Hmm... [ARTHUR UNSHEATHES HIS SWORD AND MOVES TOWARDS THE DOLMA.] THE DOLMA: If you k*ll me, you'll never see him again. I am an old woman. Is it not natural I seek some surety? The boy will be returned to you when we have concluded our business. ARTHUR: You know why we're here. THE DOLMA: Nothing is hidden from... the Dolma. Now hurry, before your Queen awakes. Set her by the pool. [ARTHUR SHEATHES HIS SWORD AND CARRIES GUINEVERE TO THE EDGE OF THE POOL.] THE DOLMA: Great King, the magic which has ensnared your Queen is strong indeed. It can be fought. It can be broken, but it may also prevail. Do you understand this? ARTHUR: I do. THE DOLMA: What we attempt will not be easy. If we fail, your Queen will be lost forever. ARTHUR: I understand. THE DOLMA: Very well. When I awake Guinevere from her sleep, she must walk into the Cauldron of Arianrhod of her own will. Only then will the spell be broken. But be warned, all the magic that binds her will fight against it. ARTHUR: How then can we succeed? THE DOLMA: You must reach her, Arthur. Reach that part of your Queen which has remained untouched by the evil of Morgana. ARTHUR: Is there such a part? THE DOLMA: You must believe there is. Prepare. When she wakes, you will have but a few moments. [THE DOLMA KNEELS NEXT TO GUINEVERE, HOLDING A HAND OVER HER.] THE DOLMA: Gielde ic thec thissa meowlessawole, gyden aeblaece. [THE DOLMA'S EYES GLOW GOLD AND SHE RISES, WITH ARTHUR'S HELP. ARTHUR KNEELS NEXT TO GUINEVERE, WHO BEGINS TO STIR. GUINEVERE AWAKENS, STARTLED.] GWEN: Where am I? What have you done to me? ARTHUR: You've been asleep for a long time. GWEN: Get away from me! [GUINEVERE TRIES TO RUN AWAY BUT ARTHUR CATCHES HER BY THE ARM, STOPPING HER. HE HOLDS HER BY BOTH ARMS.] ARTHUR: Guinevere. My Guinevere. GWEN: Your Guinevere? You stupid, foolish man. I was never yours and never will be. THE DOLMA: You must reach her, Arthur. Reach out or all is lost. GWEN: Who's this old crone? ARTHUR: You loved me once. GWEN: You are easily fooled, Arthur. ARTHUR: And still do. GWEN: It was a trick. Nothing more. A subterfuge to pass Camelot to its rightful Queen. ARTHUR: I don't believe that. [GUINEVERE STRUGGLES TO FREE HERSELF FROM ARTHUR'S GRASP BUT HE WILL NOT RELEASE HER.] GWEN: Believe what you like. The fact remains. [ARTHUR BEGINS TO DRAG GUINEVERE TOWARDS THE POOL AS SHE STRUGGLES.] THE DOLMA: No! It must be of her own will! [ARTHUR PULLS GUINEVERE CLOSER TO HIM. THEY ARE FACE TO FACE.] ARTHUR: Look at me. Tell me you don't love me. GWEN: Let me go! THE DOLMA: Arthur! ARTHUR: Do you remember when I asked you to marry me? Do you remember what you said? You said, "With all my heart." That's what you said, Guinevere. That was no subterfuge. No trickery. [GUINEVERE STOPS STRUGGLING AND LOOKS AT ARTHUR.] ARTHUR: With all my heart. [ARTHUR WALKS SLOWLY BACKWARDS, TOWARDS THE LAKE.] ARTHUR: With all my heart. [GUINEVERE'S BREATH HITCHES AS ARTHUR STEPS INTO THE LAKE.] GUINEVERE: (softly) With all my heart... [ARTHUR EXTENDS A HAND TO GUINEVERE AND SHE FOLLOWS HIM TOWARDS THE LAKE.] ARTHUR: Come. [GUINEVERE PLACES HER HAND IN ARTHUR'S AND STEPS INTO THE WATER.] THE DOLMA: Yfel gaest, ga thu fram thisselichaman. Bith hire mod eft freo. Ar ond heofonutungol sceal thurhswithan. [THE DOLMA'S EYES GLOW GOLD AND GUINEVERE IS SURROUNDED BY A WHITE LIGHT. WHEN THE LIGHT DISSIPATES, SHE TURNS TO SMILE AT ARTHUR, EXTENDING HER HAND TO HIM. ARTHUR WADES TOWARDS HER AND EMBRACES HER. THE DOLMA SMILES, EXHALING IN RELIEF. SHE AND MORDRED WATCH ARTHUR AND GUINEVERE HUG.] [NEW SCENE: BY THE CAULDRON OF ARIANRHOD. ARTHUR AND GUINEVERE ARE STANDING ON THE SHORE, WITH ARTHUR'S ARM AROUND GUINEVERE'S SHOULDER.] ARTHUR: (to The Dolma) I owe you a great debt. We both do. If there's ever anything I can do in return... Perhaps a new dress? GUINEVERE: (outraged) Arthur! ARTHUR: She likes clothes. THE DOLMA: (looks down for a moment before answering) There is one thing. ARTHUR: Name it. THE DOLMA: Remember what saved your Queen. Magic and sorcery. ARTHUR: It was also sorcery that bewitched her. THE DOLMA: There is no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men. My request is that you remember this. ARTHUR: You have my word. [THE DOLMA GIVES ARTHUR A SMALL SMILE, BOWING HER HEAD SLIGHTLY. MORDRED JOINS THEM. HE, ARTHUR AND GUINEVERE TURN AND BEGIN TO WALK AWAY.] THE DOLMA: Aren't you forgetting something? [ARTHUR TURNS, LOOKING PUZZLED. HE CHECKS TO MAKE SURE THAT HE HAS HIS SWORD. THE DOLMA SIGHS IN EXASPERATION, HER HANDS ON HER HIPS.] ARTHUR: I don't think so. THE DOLMA: (irritated) The boy. [AFTER A MOMENT, ARTHUR REALISES WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.] ARTHUR: Ah... Ah. Of course. I thought everything had gone unusually smoothly. THE DOLMA: That boy was your surety, great King! Without him, your Queen would still be lost. ARTHUR: (wrinkles his nose in disbelief) I'm not sure that's quite true. THE DOLMA: And I say it is! [ARTHUR RAISES A SCEPTICAL EYEBROW. THE DOLMA TAKES A FEW STEPS TOWARDS HIM, LOOKING ANNOYED.] THE DOLMA: You owe him a greater debt than you can possibly know. [ARTHUR NODS SLIGHTLY BUT DOESN'T LOOK CONVINCED. THE DOLMA MOVES VERY CLOSE TO HIM, UNTIL THEY'RE STANDING FACE TO FACE.] ARTHUR: Right. Erm... I'm sorry. I'll give him the afternoon off. [THE DOLMA SIGHS, IRRITATED.] THE DOLMA: One day, great King, you will recognise the true worth of those that surround you. [ARTHUR LOOKS SCEPTICAL BUT SAYS NOTHING.] THE DOLMA: (gestures for him to leave) Go. [ARTHUR NODS AND TURNS, BEGINNING TO WALK AWAY WITH GUINEVERE AND MORDRED. THE DOLMA BEGINS TO HASTEN AWAY BUT, WHEN ARTHUR TURNS TO LOOK BACK, SHE STOPS AND WAVES TO THEM. ARTHUR RETURNS THE WAVE AND TURNS, CONTINUING TO WALK. THE DOLMA RUNS, CONCEALING HERSELF BEHIND ROCKS.] [NEW SCENE: ARTHUR, GUINEVERE, MORDRED AND MERLIN ARE RIDING THROUGH THE FOREST. CAMELOT CAN BE SEEN AHEAD OF THEM. GUINEVERE RIDES BEHIND ARTHUR ON HIS HORSE. MORDRED AND MERLIN RIDE A FEW PACES BEHIND THEM.] MORDRED: (to Merlin) Arthur's a lucky man. MERLIN: Yes. MORDRED: Not just to have Gwen. To have you. MERLIN: He'd find someone else to do his chores soon enough. MORDRED: It was hardly a chore. That was your magic back there, wasn't it? [MERLIN DOESN'T REPLY.] MORDRED: Have no fear. I will not divulge your secret. I admire you. It can't be easy to do so much for so little reward. MERLIN: I do not seek reward. MORDRED: Recognition, then. MERLIN: My friends are safe and well, that's all I require. MORDRED: You see, Merlin, we do have something in common, after all. The future of Camelot. [MERLIN DOES NOT RESPOND. THEY CONTINUE TO RIDE BACK TO CAMELOT IN SILENCE.]	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x09 - With all my Heart"}	foreverdreaming
Episode 5.10 - The Kindness of Strangers In the forest There’s man hunt in the forest. Alator is chased by Morgana and hers soldiers. The sorceress uses her magic to capture him. Morgana: I was hoping for more of a challenge. There was a time when the name Alator struck fear even into the most courageous. Your skills of trture were unparalleled, did you know that? Alator: That was nothing to be proud of. Morgana: What was it you used to say? The victim always talks… eventually. Alator: What do you want from me? Morgana: I thought that was obvious. I want you to tell me where Emrys is. Alator: I told you before, never. Morgana: I was rather hoping you'd say that. [OPENING CREDITS] In the woods near Camelot Arthur, Gwen and Merlin are having a picnic. Arthur: This really is the most perfect spot is it not? Gwen: It is my lord. Arthur: Sometimes I forget how beautiful Camelot is, but never how beautiful my queen is. Was that you Merlin? Merlin snorts. Merlin: It was the horse. Arthur: Because if you were mocking the king... Merlin: I wasn't. I wouldn't. Arthur: There is a special punishment preserved for such impudence. You're too easy Merlin. Every time. How about here, Guinevere? Gwen: Yes, that looks perfect. Arthur: Than here it shall be. Merlin and Gwen are looking for a place for the picnic. Gwen: Here? Merlin: I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. Gwen: Yes, he has changed hasn't he? Merlin: Yeah, yeah I think he has. Arthur is still unloading things for the picnic, he finds an empty flask and throws it on Merlin’s head. Arthur: Sorry! pick that up will you, Merlin? Merlin: Well perhaps he hasn't totally changed. Arthur: And this one too are you ready? Arthur throws another empty flask at Merlin who fails to catch it. Merlin: Sire. Arthur: I think my dog can catch better than you. Merlin: Possibly because you treat him better. Merlin leans to fetch the flask and he notices something on a tree. Arthur: Are you blind, Merlin? Merlin: Something happened here. Arthur: Stags marking their territory. Merlin: No, this was caused by magic. Arthur: Merlin, who knows more about hunting me or you? It's rutting season, half the trees in the forest look like that. Come on. Your king awaits. Merlin picks up a medallion he sees on the ground and puts it in his bag. --- Camelot yard Merlin, Arthur and Guinevere are coming back from the picnic, they discover refugees in the yard. Arthur: What happened? Leon: They sought sanctuary at the western garrison. Arthur: Ashwick's been at peace since my father's time. Leon: They're not from Ashwick. They fled over the border from Odin's lands. --- Council Hall A council meeting is assembled. Leon: Two days ago the city of Helva was attcked. Only a handful of people managed to escape. Arthur: Who is responsible? Leon: At first we assumed it was the Saxons. They've been active in that area before, but the refugees tell a different story. They say magic was involved. Arthur: Morgana. Leon: The evidence suggests so, sire. Arthur: Strengthen the garrison. Double the patrol on the border. Leon: Sire The knights leave the hall. Merlin: Who would Morgana attck Helva? Arthur: She must have her reasons. Merlin: That's one of the few places where magic is practiced freely. Why would she attck her own? It makes no sense. --- Gaius’ Chambers Gaius is studying the medallion Merlin found in the woods. Gaius: The workmanship is undeniable. See how the pattern repeats in each concentric circle? It was made in Helva. Merlin: Anything else? A name? A date? Gaius: Not that I can see. It's a fine piece. No one would part with it willingly. Perhaps one of the refugees dropped it. Merlin: Perhaps. Gaius: Merlin, what are you up to? Merlin: I'm going back to where I found it. Gaius: I doubt the owner will still be there. Merlin: Something terrible happened there, Gaius. Something only the strongest magic could do. I could feel it. Gaius: You're not suggesting that Morgana's within the Camelot's borders? Merlin: Who else could it be? Gaius: Don't go Merlin, not on your own. Merlin: I'll be fine. Gaius: Take someone with you, at least. If it is Morgana... Merlin: Then it won't make any difference who I take, will it? --- In the woods Merlin rides to the spot he found the medallion. Followinfg a trail, he finally discovers a broken carriage and finds some torn papers and mysterious signs carved on the carriage. --- Gaius’ Chambers Gaius is examining the documents. Gaius: You shouldn't have gone. It might have been a trap. Merlin: Can you decipher it? Gaius: It's in Catha, that's for sure. Merlin: What does it say? Gaius: It's been so long since I heard the language, never mind read it. There's part of a signature here Merlin: What is it? Gaius: Alator. That's why Morgana attcked Helva. Alator was the prize she was after. Merlin: Why risk so much for one man? Gaius: There can only be one reason. To have him reveal who Emrys is. Merlin: Alator would never betray me. Gaius: Not willingly. But Morgana will use every power she has to break him and even Cathas cannot resist forever. --- Morgana’s Den Morgana's soldier is torturing Alator. Morgana: Enough. Hello again Alator. Alator: You are wasting your time Morgana. I will not tell you who Emrys is. Morgana: We both now that's not true. Otherwise, why would I have spared your life? Alator: I am a Catha. Trained from birth to master all physical pain. To rise above the... Morgana: Yes, yes… you can resist any physical trture. Separate your mind from your body. It's all very impressive Alator. But you see it's not your body I'm interested in. Not even you can separate your mind from your mind. Do you recognise this? She opens a case, there’s a sort of snake hissing in it. Morgana: I see that you do. Alator: A nathair. Morgana: That's right, Alator. A nathair. It can cause the most exquisite pain, not in the body of the victim, but in his very soul. So I ask you again, where is Emrys? --- Royal Chambers Merlin walks into the royal chambers and starts opening the curtains of the bed. Arthur: Shh! Merlin: What are you doing? Arthur: I'm gonna surprise her. Breakfast in bed. Merlin: Oh… what a lovely thought! Arthur: Where are you going? Merlin: You don't need me do you? Arthur: I can't very well get the breakfast, can I? What if she wakes up and... panics? Merlin: Panics? Arthur: Look, just, go and get it alright? Merlin, flowers don't forget the flowers. Merlin: Of course, the personal touch. Nice. Arthur: Yeah. --- Outskirts of the castle Merlin is picking flowers in the meadow, there ‘s a woman watching his, she’s got a sword in her hand She shows up in front of Merlin. Finna: Be still. She shows Merlin a mark on her arm. Finna: The great battle is nearing. You must listen to me. Emrys. Merlin: How do you know my name? Finna: Arthur's enemies are closer than you think. If you value your king, meet me tonight at the old temple of Erui. Come alone, or not at all. As a patrol from Camelot is approaching, the woman disappears. --- Royal Chambers Merlin brings the Queen's breakfast on a tray. Arthur: Merlin! Merlin: What? Arthur: Where are the flowers? Guinevere starts to wake up. Gwen: Arthur. Arthur: Good morning. Gwen: That is so sweet. Arthur: It's nothing. Who's there? Merlin! What do you think you’re doing in the royal chambers? Merlin: I thought… I thought I heard voices. Arthur: Well, maybe next time you'll be good enough to knock. Merlin: Yes, sire. Gwen: Merlin, thank you. Arthur: It was my idea. --- Gaius’ Chambers Merlin is drawing a picture of Finna's tattoo. Gaius: If it is what I think it is, this is the mark of the Bendrui. Merlin: Bendrui? Gaius: Before the time of the Great Purge, girls would be chosen at birth for the priesthood. They would be taken away from their families and brought up as initiates in the Old Religion. Merlin: I thought Morgana was the only high priestess left. Gaius: Many tried, few succeeded. For ordinary gifts were not enough. Only those possessed with exceptional magical power could ever hope to be one of the nine. But do not underestimate this woman's abilities. All Bendrui are practised in potent magic. Merlin: She said Arthur's enemies were closer than I thought. Now, who else could she mean, but Mordred? Gaius: If she meant Mordred, why not say so? Merlin: We were interrupted. Gaius: She's drawing you in, Merlin. It's a trap. She knew your real name. There's only one explanation for that. Alator told Morgana who you really are and she has sent this woman to lure you to her. Merlin: But I looked into her eyes. She meant no harm. Gaius: You think a sorceress of her power couldn't feign any look she wished? Merlin: I was there Gaius. You were not. Gaius: You mustn't go to her Merlin. Merlin: If she can help me protect Arthur, I have to. Do I have a choice? Gaius: Don't you understand? If something happened to you we would all be lost. Merlin: If she can truly help me protect Arthur from Mordred, and I refuse to go, would all not be lost then too? Gaius: Merlin… It was I who told Alator of your true identity. Merlin: You had no choice. Gaius: But I cannot let that destroy you. If ever you held me in any regard, please, do not do this. Merlin: You know I'd never do anything to hurt you, Gaius. Gaius: Thank you. Merlin walks out of the room. --- Temple of Erui Finna is casting a spell on a raven. Finna : *** Cuem mec, hraefn wan; bebuge me. Nim bod min thissere nihte thinum drhytne.Gedo ht his agenum handum Morgana Pendragon The raven lefts carrying a message. --- Royal Chambers Gaius knocks on Arthur's door. Arthur: Yes? Gaius. Gaius: Sire. Arthur: Is something wrong? Gaius: I fear so. Arthur: Go on, Gaius, you obviously have something to tell me. There can be no secrets between us. Gaius: There is a special bond between a doctor and his patient. One might almost say a bond of sacred confidentiality. Arthur: I believe so. Gaius: And yet, is there not also a loyal bond between a subject and his king. Arthur: There can be no greater duty. Gaius: A patient has advised me that within the walls of Camelot, there is a follower of the Old Religion. It is my belief that this woman poses a thrat, not only to the kingdom, but to you yourself. Arthur: I see. Does she have a name? Gaius: All that I know is, she practises her craft at night, in the Darkling Woods near the ruined temple of Erui. Arthur: You did the right thing Gaius. Thank you. Gaius leaves Arthur's chambers. --- Armoury Gwaine is being teased by the other knights. Gwaine: It's not funny. Percival: It's not funny at all. Gwaine: Nobody's laughing. It's just child play. Mordred: You're right, it's stupid. Here. Athur comes in. Arthur: Gentlemen. Percival: Um, we were just... Arthur: No matter. Mordred, I have a task for you. Mordred: Sire? Merlin watches as Arthur speaks to Mordred. --- Gaius’ Chambers Gaius gives Merlin his supper. Gaius: Your favourite. Do you not want it? Merlin: No, of course I do, thank you Gaius. Gaius: You're not still thinking about that woman in the forest, are you? It's for the best Merlin. Really, it is. Later, during the night, Merlin sneaks out his room --- Temple of Erui Finna is in the ruins, waiting for Emrys, she bents when she kneels in front of him. Finna: Great One! Merlin: Please, that's not necessary. Finna: It is an honour to meet you, Emrys. Merlin: How did you know my name? Finna: From my master, Alator of the Catha. He sends you greetings, but also a warning. The great battle nears, the fate of Camelot rests in the balance. Only you, great Emrys, can ensure the great triumph of the Once and Future King. Merlin: How do I do that? They hear the knights coming. Finna: Quickly! Mordred: Seize them! Merlin: Go! Finna: I cannot leave you! Merlin: I'll find you, you have my word. Go! Merlin makes fre appear and runs off. --- Morgana’s Den In Morgana's castle, Alator is thrown into his cell and a raven appears to him from Finna. He reads the message: “Do not fear Alator. I have found Emrys. Our sacred mission continues. Your faithful servant, Finna. “ --- Council Hall Arthur is talking to the patrol led by Mordred to track Finna. Arthur: You saw her, but you lost her? Mordred: She used magic, sire. Arthur: Even so, there are how many of you? Six? Against one old woman. Leon: There were two of them sire. Arthur: Oh, well… that explains it! Mordred, who was the other? Mordred: We couldn't see. But they were in earnest conversation, sire, that much we could tell. Arthur: Send out a second patrol. Seal off the ford of Greinton and alert the border garrisons. They must be found and brought to trial. Mordred: Sire. --- Gaius’ Chambers Merlin is packing his bag. Gaius: I told Arthur because I was worried about you, Merlin. Merlin: She was working for Alator not Morgana. Gaius: How was I to know that? Merlin: Because I told you. Gaius: I'm sorry Merlin I thought it was for the best. Merlin: Now, because of me, her life is in danger. Gaius: No, not you, me. I acted like a foolish old man. Merlin: No, never that. But I have to go now. I must find out why she risked her life for me. Gaius: Take care Merlin. Merlin leaves --- Morgana’s Den Alator is being tortured by Morgana's men. Alator: You continue to waste your time, Morgana. I'm a Catha priest. Morgana: You think that will protect you? Alator: No matter what you do. You cannot break me. Morgana: So it would seem. In which case I have no further use for you. Alator: You think I fear death? Morgana: Shall I let you into a secret, Alator? I'm no longer interested in what you think or what you fear. Alator: I shall pass to the other world happy in the knowledge that you will never find Emrys. He is your destiny, Morgana, and he is your doom. Morgana slaps him. Beroun: Mistress! Morgana: What now? Beroun: We found a letter in his cell. Morgana: Show me. “Do not fear Alator. I have found Emrys? Our sacred mission continues. Your faithful servant, Finna.” You poor fool Alator. Undone by a few scribbled words. Find this Finna. Bring her to me. Alive. I will break her Alator. Break her like a twig. How does it feel to know all your resistance is for nothing? Enjoy your other world. Morgana kills him. In the woods Finna is walking in the woods and magically marks a tree. She hides from some knights she sees. Merlin goes back to the temple and follows the magical marks Finna left. He tries to hide from the knights, but Percival finds him. Leon: Herbs? You were looking for herbs? Merlin: Gaius is very particular. They have to be fresh, or their power’s diminished. Percival: It's hardly the time or place to be gathering herbs. Merlin: You were grateful enough for them when Gaius cured your palsy. Percival: It wasn't palsy. Merlin: I was being polite. Leon: There's a dangerous sorceress at large, Merlin, not to mention Saxons. This is not the place to be alone. Merlin: I'll be fine. I'll just, uh, collect the rest of my herbs and be on my way. Leon: No. Merlin: Right… I'll head back. Mordred: We can't allow that either. Gwaine: Stay with us Merlin until the sorcerer's apprehended. Merlin: Well, thank you. --- Another place in the forest Morgana is tracking Finna. Morgana: What news? Beroun: The hounds have picked up a woman's trail. Morgana: How far? Beroun: Less than a mile. --- In the forest Percival is also following the woman’s trail. Percival: We've lost her. Gwaine: Shall we split up? Then we must track back. Leon: It's nearly dark. We'll be sitting targets for the Saxons. We’ll start again at first light. At night, Merlin tries to sneak out, but Mordred catches him. Mordred: Good morning. Though, technically I think it's still night. Merlin: I was just going for... Mordred: Relieving yourself? Merlin: Yeah. Mordred: You always put your boots on to do that, do you? Merlin: I don't like splinters. Mordred: You weren't collecting herbs either, were you? You don't have to explain yourself to me, Merlin. If you're willing to risk your life it must be important. Merlin: It is. Mordred: A problem shared… I understand. I'll tell them I escorted you back to the bridge. Merlin: Thank you. Mordred: Merlin… Be careful. Merlin follows Finna's marks. While Morgana is still leading the man hunt. Beroun: We've lost the trail. She could've gone anywhere. Fan out! Morgana: Wait! Morgana has noticed one of Finna's marks. Morgana: ** Neosie thu tha swathu. The spells reveals Finna’s path in the forest. Morgana: This way. Meanwhile, Merlin finds Finna. Merlin: Finna! Finna: Oh… Master! Merlin: Please, don't. Finna: I thought I'd lost you. Merlin: You doubted me? Finna: Never! Morgana's men run to them from out of the bushes. Merlin and Finna fight them off, but one strikes Merlin with an arrow. Merlin falls to the ground. Finna: Lie back. They won't be alone. Morgana must not find you. Merlin: Where can we go? Finna: There’s an old watch tower on the other side of the valley. Finna helps Merlin to stand up, he’s obviously suffering a lot. Finna: Can you walk? Merlin: Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Finna: It's not far. It's safe. You ready? Merlin: Yeah. While Merlin and Finna are getting close to the watchtower, Morgana finds her men dad at Finna’s camp. Beroun: There are no wounds. Morgana: There wouldn't be. Morgana sees Merlin's blood on the ground. Morgana: She's been ht, bring your men. --- At the watchower Finna is helping Merlin to climb the steps in the watchtower. Merlin: How do you know this tower? Finna: When you've spent a lifetime running, you know all the places to hide. Merlin: Running from... Arthur? Finna: And from his father before him. Merlin groans in pain. Merlin: It won't always be like this. Things will be better. Finna: That's why I was sent. To help you make it so. They hear dogs barking in the distance. Finna helps Merlin to a room and bolts the door. Merlin: Why are you doing this for me? Finna: Without you, Emrys, Arthur cannot build the new world we all long for. Merlin: I don't understand. Finna: For hundreds of years the Catha have guarded their ancient knowledge. But now the time has come to pass it on to you, Emrys. For only you can carry their hopes into the great battle itself. Merlin: How can I do that? Finna gives Merlin a small wooden box. Finna: Here. Guard it carefully. It will help you in the dark days to come. Merlin: Thank you. Morgana and her men approach the watchtower. Morgana: I want her taken alive. Do you understand? Alive! Finna: There's something else. Something Alator himself wanted me to tell you. Do not make the same mistake as Arthur. Do not trust the Druid boy. Crashing outside the room Merlin and Finna are hiding in. Finna helps Merlin up more steps to the room at the top of the tower. Finna: You must go on. Merlin: There is nowhere else to go. Finna: There is a roof. You will be safe there. Merlin: How? Finna: They think I am alone. Once they have me they will go. Merlin: I won't leave you Finna. We'll fight them together. Finna: No. If Morgana sees us together she will know who you are. That must never happen. Merlin: Finna please... Finna: It is my destiny, Emrys to serve you until the end. I could wish for nothing more. Grant me one favour. Merlin: Anything. Finna: Leave me your sword. Merlin passes his sword to Finna. He squeezes her shoulder then turns to the steps that lead to the roof. Finna: It has been a privilege to know you, Emrys. Merlin turns to Finna and nods then continues to the roof. Morgana and her men are searching for Finna. Merlin crawls out onto the roof. Morgana: Finna, at last. I'm impressed. At your age, it's very spirited. Finna: Stay away! Morgana: But with age comes wisdom. I's over. Tell me who Emrys is. Finna: She laughs. Never. Finna sab herself with Merlin's sword and dies. Merlin collapses on the roof. Morgana's men search Finna's belongings. Morgana: Burn the body. Get the horses! Merlin hears hooves thud as they leave. Merlin: *O drakon.... E male so ftengometta tesd' hup' anankes'. Kilgharrah flies across the night sky in front of a full moon. He picks Merlin up and carries him away. It's day light when Merlin opens his eyes lying on the ground. His wound has been healed. Merlin: Thank you. Kilgharrah: It is my pleasure. Merlin: For a second there, I thought you weren't coming. Kilgharrah: I would never forsake you, young warlock. Merlin: Are you alright? Kilgharrah: Of course. Merlin: Your wing... Kilgharrah: I am tired, Emrys, that is all. But I shall serve you as long as I have the strength. Merlin: If you are ill, I can heal you. Kilgharrah: There are some things even a warlock as great as you cannot overcome. I am old, Emrys. My time has almost come. Merlin: No. Kilgharrah: It is the cycle of life. No more, no less. Merlin: What will I do without you? Kilgharrah: You will remember me. Merlin: Will I see you again? Kilgharrah turns and flies away. --- Gaius’ Chambers Merlin and Gaius look at the box Finna gave Merlin. Gaius opens it and removes a sealed parchment. Merlin: What does it say? Gaius: Just a moment. Gaius reads from the parchment that is written in Catha. Gaius: "Let loose the hounds of wr. Let the dreadfire of the last priestess rain down from angry skies. For brother will slaughter brother. For friend will mrder friend, as the great horn sounds a cold dawn at Camlann. The prophets do not lie. There Arthur will meet his end, upon that mighty plain." Merlin sighs. Merlin: So many have... suffered so that I may hear this. Gaius: Yes. I think I know what's going through your mind, Merlin. That your destiny is too much for one man to bear. Merlin: Yes. You always did know me best, Gaius. Gaius: Be assured of one thing. There was never anyone more capable than you, Merlin. You will not fail. Alarm bells ring out. Gwaine, Percival, Mordred and another knight enter Gaius's chambers carrying a knight on a stretcher, Percival follows them into the room. Gwaine: We got here as fast as we could. Gaius: You did well. Where did this happen? Percival: We found him just inside the border. Gaius: Merlin, fetch me my glass please. Percival: Do you know what it is? Gaius: I fear so. The skin has grown across his face until he suffocated. Arthur enters the room and looks at the disfigured knight. Arthur: Gaius? Gaius: The disfigurement is not as a result of disease or infection. It's the result of powerful magic. In the old days it was a punishment known as raigaid, the ultimate warning from the high priestess to her enemies. Arthur: Why was this knight chosen? What had he done? Gaius: He had done nothing, except be a knight of Camelot. It is a warning sire. A warning to the whole kingdom. Morgana has declared wr.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x10 - The Kindness of Strangers"}	foreverdreaming
KILGHARRAH: In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name: Merlin. [FOREST] [Arthur, Merlin and the knights ride back to Camelot from a hunting trip. Merlin has a crossbow over his shoulder and a blanket around his shoulders.] ARTHUR: I think it's been a good trip. MORDRED: Yeah, we all caught something. GWAINE: Including Merlin. [He laughs.] ARTHUR: What did he catch? MERLIN: A cold! LEON: If you learnt to track, you'd enjoy it more. MERLIN: I'm the best tracker here. [Percival holds a hand up to stop everyone. He dismounts, and removes his cloak. Arthur takes his cloak off and dismounts. Percival draws his sword, walks to something on the ground and bends down. He pulls a crossbow bolt out of the dirt. The others and Merlin dismount. Arthur draws his sword as Percival keeps on following the trail. Merlin catches up to Arthur with the crossbow in hand.] MERLIN: Arthur, what is it? A deer? [He makes the crossbow ready.] A boar? PERCIVAL: Arthur. [They come upon a raided camp.] MERLIN: Saxons. [There are dad Camelot knights. Mordred and Leon look around. There's an over turned carriage. Leon closes the eyes of one of the knights and glances around. Gwaine knocks a mace off of a box.] ARTHUR: They were after the cargo. wapon bound for Camelot. [Mordred walks off in direction and Merlin watches him go.] MERLIN: Morgana. GWAINE: This close to the city walls? ARTHUR: Check for survivors. [Mordred looks up, looks back at the ground then does a double take. He sees someone run from behind a tree. He takes off after the person. Arthur and Merlin notice. Merlin takes off after him. Arthur signals the knights to move out. Mordred continues to follow cloaked the person. They fall and he comes up behind them. The person rolls over to face him as he points his sword. Mordred recongizes the woman.] MORDRED: Kara? Go! [He whispers more urgently.] Kara, go! [Merlin comes up as Mordred starts to turn around. He sees Kara run through the trees. Arthur and the others come up as Mordred walks back.] ARTHUR: What happened? MORDRED: I thought I saw someone. I was wrong. Probably a deer. ARTHUR: Are you sure? MORDRED: Yeah. ARTHUR: Move out. [Mordred looks back at the way that Kara ran. He starts to follow the others and stops when he sees Merlin standing there. They share a look before Mordred continues on. Merlin looks back at where he saw Kara disappearing then moves his gaze to where Mordred went.] OPENING CREDITS [KING'S PALACE- PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS] [Gaius is grounding herbs together. Merlin walks away from the table after putting a bottle on the table. He has Gaius's medicine bag.] GAIUS: I don't want that. I want lungwort! MERLIN: Maybe it's in the...thing. [He sets the bag down on the other table and goes about getting it ready.] GAIUS: What is it, Merlin? What's the matter? MERLIN: Mordred. [He sits on the bench.] GAIUS: You're worrying about what the sorceress told you. MERLIN: Finna was right. I must not trust Mordred. GAIUS: He's a loyal knight. He's proved it time after time. MERLIN: He's beguiled you. He's beguiled you all. GAIUS: You're wrong, Merlin. MERLIN: When we were out on patrol, a Saxon escaped and Mordred let him. GAIUS: Are you sure? MERLIN: Saw him. GAIUS: There must be a simple explanation. MERLIN: I can't believe that, Gaius. Not after all I've told. GAIUS: He's fond of the King. The feeling is mutual. They've become great friends. MERLIN: That's my fear. Arthur's blind to him. I'm not. I won't make that same mistake. [Gaius takes a deep breathe and releases it knowing there is nothing else to say.] GAIUS: We've patients waiting. [Merlin gets up and follows Gaius to the door. Gaius turns to Merlin as he opens the door.] GAIUS: Have you got everything? MERLIN: Yes. GAIUS: [He looks at Merlin and notices that he doesn't have the medicine bag.] Merlin? [Merlin points to Gaius's shoulder, down at his hand and realizes that the bag is still on the table. He tsks and runs to get the bag. He puts the cover on as he leaves.] [Gaius and Merlin walk down the corridor. Mordred is hiding behind a door and when they are past he goes into the physician's chambers. He looks around before going to a shelf , he looks through the vials and grabs two. He holds them behind his back and leaves.] [KING'S PALACE- COURTYARD] [A guard walks by. Mordred sneaks behind another one, grabs a torch, puts out the flame and leaves. He goes back to where the upturned carriage is and relights the torch using flints. He grabs the torch and stands up. Mordred closes his eyes and calls to Kara using telepathy.] MORDRED: Kara. [He turns to his left and listens.] KARA: [Softly] Mordred? [Louder] Mordred. [Mordred opens his eyes and turns around. He starts walking in the direction of her voice.] KARA: Mordred. [He snaps a branch.] [KING'S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Leon is looking at a map. Arthur is standing next to him.] LEON: We believe they approached from the gorge at Westhay and tracked the ridgeline all the way through to the ford at Rushwick. ARTHUR: We can't allow our supply routes to become vulnerable. I want extra patrols dispatched to the west and the north of the Citadel. LEON: We ride at first light. [Leon heads to the door. Before he opens it Arthur stops him.] ARTHUR: Leon. I need not remind you we're at wr. [Leon nods and leaves. Gwen walks up.] GWEN: What's troubling you? ARTHUR: Morgana's men attcked only a few leagues away from the Citadel. GWEN: She is brazen. ARTHUR: She does not fear us. GWEN: Then she's more foolish than I thought. ARTHUR: She has sorcery on her side. GWEN: And you have the strength and love of your people, Arthur. When you became King, you gave them something to fight for. That's the most powerful wapon of all. [She touches his arm and he smiles at her.] [FOREST] [Mordred finds Kara on a pile of leaves in a secluded little nook. He walks to her, sets the torch down and hugs her.] KARA: Could you believe...? MORDRED: No. [She pulls back and looks at him.] KARA: If it hadn't been you... MORDRED: I know. MORDRED: Your leg? KARA: It isn't deep. [He takes his bag off.] MORDRED: Let me see. [He looks at the wound then back up at her.] I'll clean it. [He pulls the vials out the bag and holds them up.] These will help it heal. [He starts to doctor her leg.] KARA: What're we going to do? MORDRED: I'm going to help you get better. KARA: You're a knight. MORDRED: That doesn't matter. KARA: Of Camelot. Why, Mordred? MORDRED: Arthur is a good man. KARA: I can't believe you'd say that. MORDRED: You don't know him. KARA: He's your friend? MORDRED: Yes. [She can't believe it.] KARA: Does he know who you are? You're a druid. You don't belong in Camelot. MORDRED: I believe in Arthur. You'll see. One day, it will change. You're safe here. [He puts a hand on her cheek.] No one will harm you, I promise. [He puts his other hand on her other cheek while she puts a hand on his his. They press their foreheads together.] [KING'S PALACE- CORRIDOR] [Mordred walks down a corridor. Merlin is leaning against a door waiting for him.] MERLIN: Where've you been? MORDRED: Nowhere. MERLIN: You’re lying. MORDRED: What right have YOU to question me? [Merlin shrugs] MORDRED: Why are you doing this? Everything I do you think the worst. [Merlin moves to stand in front of him.] MERLIN: I saw you let a Saxon go. Maybe I should tell Arthur. MORDRED: Merlin, she's a druid. I knew her. She was wounded. What could I do? Let her be captured? She had an arrow in her leg. She cannot walk! MERLIN: You're taking a risk. MORDRED: I can't let her die. She's... someone... I can't explain. MERLIN: Where is she? MORDRED: She needs a few days. [Merlin huffs.] She'll be gone, she means no harm. Please you mustn't tell anyone. You know if Arthur catches her she'll be klled. Please, Merlin, I beg you. [He whispers] She's one of us. Promise me. MERLIN: Your secret is safe with me. You have my word. ARTHUR: Merlin! [Merlin turns his head to look over his shoulder and Mordred leaves. Arthur comes down another corridor and turns when he sees Merlin standing in the doorway. He walks toward him slowly.] ARTHUR: What ARE you doing? MERLIN: I'm like a swan. [He turns around to face Arthur.] It seems like I'm not doing anything, but there's a lot of work going on underneath. ARTHUR: Hm. Interesting. I see you more as a headlouse. MERLIN: Right... ARTHUR: Useless. Irritating. Come on. We've got a patrol to mount. [Merlin follows Arthur then pauses a second and glances back at the way that Mordred went.] [FOREST] [Arthur and Merlin lead their horses through the woods. Arthur ties his horse to a tree and walks ahead. Merlin stays back.] ARTHUR: [Arthur sees something.] Merlin! Here. [Merlin walks up.] It's all about staying alert. What do you see? MERLIN: I see a pair of breeches that need cleaning. ARTHUR: Come and have a look. Closer. [He pushes Merlin to the ground.] ARTHUR: Now what do you see? MERLIN: Brilliant. [He stands up brushing dirt off.] Two pairs of breeches that need cleaning. ARTHUR: On the branch! MERLIN: It's broken. ARTHUR: What does that tell you? MERLIN: Something left the trail. [Merlin looks up and stares at something. Arthur keeps on looking around.] ARTHUR: It's recent. MERLIN: An animal. ARTHUR: You think so? MERLIN: A deer. ARTHUR: Would have to be a big one. MERLIN: With very big antlers. ARTHUR: What makes you say that? MERLIN: Because its looking at us. [Arthur finally stops looking at the ground and glances up. They see the deer.] MERLIN: Its... all about keeping alert. [Arthur sees something in the mud. Merlin looks at him, nudges his arm..] MERLIN: Come on. [Arthur walks forward and sees a bootprint in the mud.] ARTHUR: That's not a deer. [They follow the trail back to the carriage.] ARTHUR: Merlin. [He points to bootprints in the mud.] MERLIN: They're from when we were here yesterday. ARTHUR: It was dry yesterday, it rained last night. These marks are fresh. MERLIN: Our men have been patrolling this area night and day. It's probably one of them. ARTHUR: Who? I had their reports. No one's been through here. [Arthur follows the trail that Mordred left. Merlin follows. Arthur draws his sword as they come upon Kara's hiding place. Merlin has a feeling.] MERLIN: [Whispers.] Arthur. [Arthur still enters.] [They walk forward. Kara comes out from behind her hiding spot behind a rock.] KARA: Don't hurt me. [Merlin realizes who it is but doesn't say anything.] MERLIN: Careful. Arthur, she's wounded. KARA: Please...I mean you no harm. [Arthur puts his sword away and walks forward to help her. He gets distracted and Kara pulls a dagger out, but before she can sab Arthur Merlin uses his magic to make the dagger fly out her hand. With the force that she was going to use she falls and Arthur catches her.] ARTHUR: You would've klled me. KARA: I'm only sorry I failed. [KING'S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Mordred sees Kara being lead to the cells by two guards. He thinks Merlin betrayed him.] [KING'S PALACE- CORRIDOR] [Merlin is walking along a corridor when Mordred grabs the sides of his jacket and throws him into the wall.] MORDRED: Why?! MERLIN: I didn't tell him! MORDRED: You gave me your word! MERLIN: I swear. [Merlin pushes Mordred away.] MORDRED: You did it because you hate me. [He steps forward and Merlin a hand up to stop him.] MERLIN: No. MORDRED: This time you've gone too far. You'll pay, Merlin. [Gwaine and Leon come around the corner.] GWAINE: What's going on? [Merlin and Mordred look toward them.] LEON: What's this about? [Merlin and Mordred continue to glare at each other.] MORDRED: Nothing. [He walks between Gwaine and Leon bumping Leon's shoulder. Merlin straightens his jacket. Gwaine steps in front of Merlin. ] GWAINE: Merlin? MERLIN: Nothing. [He walks the opposite way of Mordred. Gwaine and Leon look at each other.] [KING'S PALACE-COUNCIL CHAMBER] [Kara stands before Arthur, Gwen, Merlin, the knights and the Council members. The people have formed a sort of circle around Kara. Arthur walks around it. Mordred is next to a column close to Kara.] ARTHUR: Were you part of a cohort of saxons who attcked an arms shipment bound for Camelot? KARA: Yes. ARTHUR: And were you acting under the orders of Morgana Pendragon? KARA: What I did, I did for myself, for my people and for our right to be free. ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with the Druids. KARA: I have spent my life on the run because of my beliefs and seen those I have loved klled. ARTHUR: Once, maybe. But I'm not my father. KARA: You don't kll those with magic? [Arthur looks at her as she turns her head to look at him.] It is not I, Arthur Pendragon, who needs to answer for my crimes, it is you. You and your father have brutally and mercilessly heaped misery on my kind. It is you who has turned a peaceful people to wr...and it is you...and Camelot that shall pay the price. ARTHUR: In your words...I hear the voice of Morgana. It is she and others like her who have abused the powers of magic. It is they who have brought the rift between our people. It is their deeds, that have terroised Camelot and forced us to outlaw such practices. But you stand before the court, not because of an act of sorcery or sedition, but because an act of mrder. Your actions have brought about the deaths of many good men and thrat the lives of many more. [Mordred glances at Arthur.] KARA: They were casualties of wr. And I would do the same again for I will not rest until you are dad and your kingdom is no more. [She turns her head and watches Arthur as he walks around the circle.] ARTHUR: Yet you have friends here. [Merlin watches to see if anything will happen. Mordred stares at Kara.] Somehow you got treatment for your leg...from someone in Camelot. Who? KARA: I treated myself. ARTHUR: You're lying. Whoever it was left a trail of footprints in the mud...[Mordred looks down at the ground realizing what he has done.] footprints that resulted in your capture. KARA: A stranger came across me and he helped me. I have no idea who he was. ARTHUR: You show no remorse for your actions. I have no choice but to declare you an enemy of Camelot. At dawn tomorrow, pursuant to the laws of this land, you will be taken from your cell...[Mordred looks at Arthur.] and hanged. [Merlin looks across at Mordred. Arthur nods to the guards to take her away.] KARA: You can do as you wish. It will not stop Morgana's uprising. [Mordred looks at her.] Your doom is near. [The guards are leading her away.]And my only sadness is, I won't be there to see it. [KING'S PALACE - DUNGEONS] [Kara is placed back in her cell. Mordred walks toward the door as the guards walk away. Kara breathes in and sits on the bench, she puts her head in her hands. Mordred stops a little ways from the door.] MORDRED: Kara. [She wipes her eyes and looks at him. Kara gets up and goes to the door. Mordred glances at the guard that is sitting at the table close by.] The King has sent me to speak to you. He is frustrated...that you did not betray the person who helped you. You are very loyal. KARA: That person is...very dear to me. [Mordred walks up to the door.] KARA: I will never tell anyone. I would rather die than see them harmed. [The guard walks up with a bowl, Mordred turns toward him, the guard puts his hand through the bars and places the bowl on the floor of the cell. The guard goes back to his chair. Mordred turns back to the door and places his hands on the bars. Kara puts her hands under his, touching. He moves his hands down and places them on top of hers.] MORDRED: [Whispers.] I will speak with the King. KARA: He will never show mercy to someone like me. MORDRED: I will not let you die. [Mordred turns and walks away.] [KING'S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Mordred rests his head against the door and takes a breathe before he knocks.][Merlin is helping Arthur out of his chainmail.] ARTHUR: Yes? [Mordred enters.] ARTHUR: Ah, Mordred. What is it? [Mordred walks forward and then kneels. Arthur and Merlin exchange a look.] MORDRED: It was me. I was the one who took the herbs to the Druid girl. Arthur, I'm asking you, please, to reconsider your sentence. She is a good person. She means no harm. She's not to blame. Morgana is using her in her quest for power. ARTHUR: You know this girl? [Mordred nods his head. He still hasn't looked up at Arthur.] MORDRED: She is...someone...Since I was a child...[He looks up at Arthur.] she's always lived inside my heart. [Arthur steps toward him and motions him to stand. Mordred stands, crying. Arthur has his hand on Mordred's shoulder.] ARTHUR: You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You're a knight of Camelot. It's a bond we share. Yet what you ask...This girl, she is a danger. Not just to me. She's a sworn enemy of Camelot, ruthless to the cause. MORDRED: No. I will change that. She'll listen to me. ARTHUR: I cannot risk the lives of my citizens, Mordred, no matter who asks. MORDRED: I beg you, Arthur. ARTHUR: She's admitted her guilt. I have no option. I'm sorry. MORDRED: Sire. [He leaves.] [Arthur takes his gloves off.] MERLIN: What of the bond between knights? ARTHUR: The law must be applied. It is paramount. MERLIN: You're breaking his heart. You'll lose his trust. Think again. ARTHUR: There's nothing I can do. In time, Mordred will understand that. He'll come to forgive me. MERLIN: I fear you're wrong, Arthur. ARTHUR: Only time will tell. [KING'S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Mordred goes to Kara's cell. She goes to the door when she sees him.] MORDRED: He would not listen. KARA: He has made his decision. MORDRED: I tried. KARA: It's too late. MORDRED: No,Kara. KARA: He doesn't care. No matter what he preaches, he is no different from his father. A tyrant, a brute. MORDRED: I thought he and I were friends. KARA: He's a Pendragon. You did all you could. [She sits on the bench.] [KING'S PALACE -CORRIDOR] [Mordred watches from a window as they are set up in the main square for the hanging. He walks to the Royal Chambers.] [KING'S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Arthur is reading a piece of paper when Mordred walks in. Arthur drops the paper. Merlin comes out from a corner. Mordred walks to the table.] ARTHUR: Mordred. MORDRED: I wanted to...to apologize. ARTHUR: There's no need. MORDRED: I'm sorry for what I did. I hope you'll forgive me. ARTHUR: I'd never let something like this ruin our friendship. MORDRED: You took me in. I will always remember that...and everything you've done for me. ARTHUR: You've rewarded me by becoming one of my most loyal of knights. MORDRED: Thank you, Sire. [Mordred nods his head and leaves.] ARTHUR: I knew he'd come round. [Merlin glances at Arthur and then leaves the room.] [KING'S PALACE - CORRIDOR] [Merlin catches up to Mordred.] MERLIN: What are you doing? You're leaving. You're going to take her with you. [Mordred stops walking and turns to face Merlin.] MORDRED: Do not stand in my way. I don't want anyone to get hurt. MERLIN: Mordred... MORDRED: Kara is sentenced to die in the morning. What would you do? MERLIN: You can't. MORDRED: Tell me you wouldn't do the same for the woman you love. MERLIN: Don't be foolish. MORDRED: You see...you cannot. [Mordred turns and starts to walk.] MERLIN: Mordred...[He stops walking.] Please. [Mordred closes his eyes.] MORDRED: I know you did not betray before. Do not do so now. [Mordred leaves.] [KING'S PALACE- PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS] [Merlin and Gaius are sitting on a bench.] GAIUS: It's nothing you haven't done yourself a hundred times before. MERLIN: No, this is different. GAIUS: How? MERLIN: Mordred isn't just going to set Kara free. He's going to leave with her. If he does, there'll be no chance of reconciliation with Arthur. Arthur's decision's already set Mordred against him. With that girl at his side, he runs straight into the arms of Morgana. GAIUS: You cannot want Kara to die. MERLIN: But I don't want Arthur to either. As long as Mordred is within these walls, there's still hope. I have to stop him. [Gaius doesn't say anything, just stares at Merlin. Merlin stands up and takes a couple of steps back while looking at Gaius.] MERLIN: Gaius! I have no choice. [Merlin leaves.] [KING'S PALACE - ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Gwen and Arthur are eating dinner. Gwen is laughing at something Arthur said. Merlin enters without knocking.] GWEN: Merlin! MERLIN: I'm sorry, my lady. I need to speak with Arthur. It's important. ARTHUR: It'd better be. MERLIN: It's Mordred. [Arthur looks up at Merlin.] ARTHUR: What is it? [Gwen looks worried.] MERLIN: Arthur... [Merlin seems uneasy.] ARTHUR: Are you going to tell me? MERLIN: he, uh... ARTHUR: Well? MERLIN: He's going to help the Druid girl escape. [Arthur gets up from the table and leaves the room followed by Merlin.] [KING'S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [The guards in the corridor are passed out on the floor from a smoke bmb. Arthur and Merlin enter and cover their noses with their sleeves. They get to the cells and see that Kara's is empty. Arthur checks the other cell too.] ARTHUR: Rally the guards. [Arthur and Merlin leave.] [KING'S PALACE- CORRIDORS] [Mordred opens an iron gate. He goes ahead to make sure the way is clear, he looks back and motions Kara to move forward. They get to the of the corridor. A guard is standing around the corner, he sees Mordred. Mordred moves back. Kara charges around the corner, grabs his shoulders, knees him in the stomach, throws him into the wall, and while he falls to the floor reaches over and grabs Mordred's dagger from his belt. Kara plunges it into the guard's chest. Mordred steps around as Kara gets to her feet, not believing what he just saw. She turns to look at him.] KARA: He's a Camelot soldier. [Warning bells sound. They run.] [Guards are in the square setting up patrols.] [Arthur, Merlin and Leon meet up with Gwaine and the others in a corridor.] GWAINE: We're searching the Citadel. ARTHUR: No. They'll be gone. Search the forest. LEON: I want them captured. ARTHUR: Alive? They're fugitives. The law is clear. LEON: Dispatch as many riders as you can. ARTHUR: Put all personal feelings aside. [FOREST] [Mordred and Kara run through the trees. Kara stops because of her leg.] MORDRED: You need to rest. KARA: We can't. [She pushes on. Mordred follows.] [Knights ride across the clearing and head into the woods. They get to an area and stop. Leon dismounts.] PERCIVAL: Over here. I thought I saw something. [Arthur and Merlin dismount from their horses. Arthur draws his sword. They make their way on foot. Arthur and leading them.] [Kara and Mordred keep on running. Kara stops and kneels holding her leg. Arthur, Merlin and the knights follow their trail. They split off into pairs and spread out. Mordred and Kara watch from behind a tree.] KARA: You go. Please. MORDRED: I won't leave you. ARTHUR: Mordred! [Mordred turns the way that the voice came from. Arthur, Merlin and the others get closer. Kara and Mordred look at each other for bit. Mordred draws his sword, stands up and walks out of hiding to face Arthur. Mordred glances around at the knights.] KARA:[Telepathy] Use your magic. kll them! [Mordred looks at her over his shoulder.] MORDRED: They are my friends. ARTHUR: Give yourselves up. [Mordred looks back at Arthur.] MORDRED: Let her go. We will leave Camelot and never return. You have my word. Please. [Arthur doesn't answer. Mordred looks at a couple of the other knights.] MORDRED: Gwaine. Leon. [Gwaine doesn't answer and Leon looks away.] KARA:[Telepathy.] Use your magic. Do it! [Mordred glances at Kara one more time. He glares at Merlin. Merlin glares back. Mordred lowers his head, closes his eyes for a second. He looks back up, back at Merlin. Merlin gets ready to use his magic. Percival knocks Mordred before he could use his magic.] [KING'S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Mordred and Kara are taken into the dungeons and put in serperate cells. Arthur and Merlin walk up. Mordred turns around and faces Arthur.] MORDRED: What are you going to do to me? ARTHUR: I wish I knew. [Arthur leaves. Mordred looks up at Merlin. Merlin turns to follow Arthur.] MORDRED:[Telepathy.] Why couldn't you just let things be? [Merlin stops for a second then walks on out.] [KING'S PALACE- PHYSICIAN'S CHAMBERS] [Gaius and Merlin enter. Merlin stops at the door.] MERLIN: The very thing I was trying to stop, it's happened. GAIUS: There are some paths woven so deeply into the fabric of the world, Merlin, that nothing can be done to change them. [Gaius goes to his desk, sets his book down as Merlin shuts the door. Gaius sits down. Merlin leans against the door and rubs his hands over his eyes then brings them together in front of his face.] MERLIN: There must be an answer, some way out of this. Perhaps... [He walks forward] if Arthur was to repeal the sentence... GAIUS: He won't change his mind. MERLIN: But if I could manage to persuade him, then Mordred would no longer be set against Arthur. He'd be...you know... indebted to him. GAIUS: You know Arthur. I cannot see him agreeing. MERLIN: I have to try. It's my only chance. [He leaves.] [KING'S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Arthur is looking out the window.] MERLIN: I know it's not my place to speak...Arthur. ARTHUR: I know what you're going to say... MERLIN: The girl... ARTHUR: Her fate's sealed, it's Mordred's that concerns me. Should I allow him to go free? MERLIN: Free them both. ARTHUR: The girl's mrder innocent men in cold blood. We are at wr, I must be resolute. MERLIN: Well how will one more death bring about the peace we long for? She's young, I don't believe she's beyond redemption. You've witnessed their love for each other, that's something far greater than her desire to serve Morgana or her cause. Give her one more chance, she'll take it. ARTHUR: As King, I'm sworn to uphold the law. It's the future of Camelot that concerns me. MERLIN: Please, Arthur. You have to listen to me. ARTHUR: It's my decision...my decision alone. [Arthur turns back to the window. Merlin leaves the room.] [KING'S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Kara and Mordred sit in their cells as close to each other as they can be.] MORDRED: If I hadn't come to you... KARA: I would've died from my wound. MORDRED: It was my fault. [Kara puts her hand on Mordred's arm.] KARA: I have no one to blame but myself. I chose my path. I have just one regret...only one regret. [Mordred puts his hand over hers. She takes hold of his hand. They fall asleep holding hands.] [The scene lightens to represent a new day beginning. Kara's cell door is opened. Mordred wakes up and stands up with her when Leon enters the cell.] MORDRED: Kara. LEON: We've come to take her to the King. [Mordred is confused. Kara takes Mordred's hand and kisses it. She walks out of cell. Leon glances at Mordred before he leaves. Mordred looks out through the front of his cell and sees a guard put irons on Kara's wrists.] [KING'S PALACE- COUNCIL CHAMBER] [Kara stands before the Arthur, Merlin, the knights and the members of the council. Merlin stands next to Gwaine. Arthur sits on the throne with Leon standing beside him.] ARTHUR: Every person present knows the crimes for which you are guilty...but I'm willing to offer you a chance. I know that the Druids are a peaceful people. And you are young...and impressionable...an easy target for the likes of Morgana. If you repent your crimes, I will spare your life. [Merlin nods his head. It also looks like he is mouthing the words that Arthur is saying.] KARA: I cannot repent a crime I have not committed. [Merlin can't believe her choice of words. Neither can Arthur.] ARTHUR: Kara... KARA: It is not a crime to fight for your freedom. [Arthur sighs and closes his eyes. He leans back in the throne.] It is not a crime to [Arthur glances at Merlin. Both at a lose of what to do.]fight for the right to be who you are. You deserve everything that is coming to you, Arthur Pendragon. [KING'S PALACE- MAIN SQUARE] [Kara is lead out by four guards. Merlin watches from a distance, standing by a column.] [KING'S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Mordred sits in his cell, crying.] [KING'S PALACE- MAIN SQUARE] [Kara is lead to the center of the square. Arthur and Gwen look on from the balcony. Kara climbs the steps.] [KING'S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Mordred sits in his cell, crying. He leans his head back against the wall and looks up.] [KING'S PALACE- MAIN SQUARE] [The executioner helps her onto the stump and place the rope around her neck. Kara stares up at Arthur without blinking.] [KING'S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Mordred glares at the cell door. It starts to shake and rattle, as does the table and everything on it.] [KING'S PALACE- MAIN SQUARE] [Arthur gives the nod and Kara is klled.] [KING'S PALACE- DUNGEONS] [Mordred yells as Kara is hung. The iron sparks and the cell door falls. Merlin's head jerks forward from the force of Mordred's telepathic yell.] [KING'S PALACE- ROYAL CHAMBERS] [Arthur sits in a chair as Merlin fills him in.] MERLIN: It's almost like he's vanished. The guards searched as far as the river. There was no sign. ARTHUR: I let him in. MERLIN: You have a good heart, don't blame yourself for that. ARTHUR: I shouldn't have trusted him. [Arthur rubs his hands over his face, then brings them together and folds his hands down resting his chin on them.] I've made a terrible mistake, haven't I? MERLIN: I hope not. [FOREST] [Mordred comes the edge of a forest overlooking Morgana's fortress. Mordred takes a deep breath and lets it out before walking on.] [MORGANA'S FORTRESS] [Morgana sits on her throne. Mordred is escorted up to her by a couple of guards. One of them roughly pushes Mordred to his knees.] MORGANA: My old friend. [Mordred looks up at her.] MORGANA: Last time we met you tried to kll me. MORDRED: I am here for a purpose, Morgana. I did not break stride to find you. I bring you the news you have longed for. MORGANA: Arthur's death? MORDRED: The key to it. I was wrong to ever question your wisdom, my lady and I wish to make amends. MORGANA: Tell me! MORDRED: There is someone you have been searching for, someone that has always eluded you. MORGANA: Emrys. MORDRED: I know where he is. MORGANA: Where? MORDRED: Camelot. And I have his true name. It is Merlin. [Morgana stares at him and gasps once]	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x11 - The Drawing of the Dark"}	foreverdreaming
Episode 5.12: The Diamond of the Day -Part One Morgana’s fortress A man wearing a hooded cloak enters and stands before Morgana. Mordred is at her right side. Morgana: What a pleasure it is to see you again, Ari. Ari pushes his hood back. There is a druid symbol on his neck. Ari: The honour is all mine, my lady. Morgana: Your arrival has been keenly anticipated, I can assure you. I have boasted of your powers. Though not all believe. Ari: People may believe as they wish. Morgana: Well perhaps some small proof of your talents is in order. After all, seeing is believing. Is it not? Ari: I'm not an entertainer, my lady. Morgana: Of course not. Think of it as more as a demonstration. Extinguish those flames. Ari: My lady, I must protest. Morgana: Indulge me. Ari: * Forth fleoge! The fires go out. Morgana: Impressive, indeed. Who here now could deny your powers? A guard brings a box to Morgana. Ari recognizes the symbol on the on it. Morgana stands up to open the box. Ari tries to move back but the guards grab his arms. Morgana: * Aweax thu metethearfenda! Thicge thu thone drycraeft the thinan deorcan mode gefylth. Ari: Not this! Morgana: * Thicge thu thone drycraeft the thinan deorcan mode gefylth. The guards force him down to the ground. Ari: Please, Morgana. My lady. Morgana: * Aweax thu metethearfenda! Ari: I beg of you. I'm begging you. A slug like creature slithers it way up the box. It leaps at Ari, landing on his face. Ari struggles with it for a while. The creature then slithers away. Morgana goes back to her throne. Ari lies still after the creature has attcked. Mordred: Is he dad? Morgana: If I had wanted him dad, I would have put a sword in his gut. Ari takes a deep breath. The guards help him up. Morgana: Don't despair Ari, we're nearly done. If you'd do me the favour of relighting those fires? Ari: You know...I cannot. Morgana: For the benefit of my friends. Ari jerks his arms free from the guards. Ari: I will not humiliate myself before you. Morgana: You will if you want to see your family alive. Ari: Bael onbryne. Nothing happens. Morgana: Again! If you please. Ari: * Bael onbryne. Ari sobs. Morgana motions for the guards to take him away. Mordred: He was a loyal soldier. In robbing him of his magic you've lost yourself a powerful ally. Morgana: Perhaps. But now we know the wr can be won. For Arthur is nothing without Emrys and Emrys is nothing without magic. [Opening Credits] --- King’s Palace outside A guard exits a tunnel with a torch, and turns to his right. Patrolling the grounds. There is a man that is sneaking along the aisle way with the box that has the creature in it. He enters the tunnel that the guard came out of. --- Tavern Arthur shakes his cup of dice in Merlin's face, turns to his turn and drops the dice on the table. Arthur: Three! It’s a three. The tavern people cheer. Arthur: Feel free to retire at any time. Merlin: Likewise. Arthur: There's no...uh...disgrace for a servant to lose to his King. Merlin: Or a King to a servant. More laughing from the tavern people. Merlin laughs with them. Tavern people: Ohhh... Merlin takes a small handful of silver coins and drops them on a plate. Arthur notices how much there is. Arthur: Watch out. Here we go. Merlin shakes the cup, brings it to his mouth and blows on the dice. His eyes glow. He drops the dice on table. Merlin: Ten. More cheering. Arthur has a look that says 'unbelievable.' Percival gives a small smile. Merlin pretends that he can't believe he rolled a ten. Tavern people: Yay! Arthur leans across the table to Merlin. Merlin picks up the coins. Arthur: (whispers) Enjoy this moment, Merlin...while it lasts. --- King’s Palace corridor Two knights step through a doorway and walk down the corridor. The man with the box comes out from behind the door and walks across the corridor to the door that leads to the physician's chambers. --- Physician’s chambers The man with the box quietly enters. Gaius is asleep on the table. He hears the door open and starts to lift his head. The man grabs a rock off a table as he passes. --- Tavern Arthur shakes his cup of dice. Arthur: Twelve. Merlin fakes a cough. Arthur rolls a four. Merlin grimaces and rubs his throat. Merlin and Tavern people: Ohh.... Arthur: You put me off. Merlin: What are you talking about? Arthur: You just coughed. Percival glances between them. The tavern people laugh. Merlin: (He points to his throat.) I was clearing my throat. Arthur: You just coughed, deliberately. Merlin closes his eyes and shakes his head. Merlin: Argh, I knew you'd discover my secret in the end. There is just no fooling you, my lord. Right. The tavern people laugh. Arthur just stands there not showing any emotion. Merlin picks up his coins stack by stack and places them on the plate. He takes the last one that is on the table and tosses it with the others. Arthur: It's like that, is it? Merlin nods his head. Arthur sweeps his coins into his hand and drops them onto the plate. Merlin and Arthur stare at each other. Arthur doesn't look away. Merlin shakes the dice, brings the cup to his mouth, and blows on the dice. His eyes glow. He throws the dice on the table. Merlin: Wearp! Twelve! The people cheer. Arthur looks down at the dice. Merlin: Whoo-hoo! Merlin puts the coins in a bag. Arthur is at a loss. His look doesn't really give anything away. --- Physician’s chambers Merlin quietly opens the door and enters. Merlin goes over to look at something and trips over a stool falling to the floor. He grimaces and gets up. Gaius is laying the floor, with a cut over his right eye. Merlin enters his chambers, steps on a chest, lies down on the bed, places the money pouch on the bed side table and lets his arm hang off the side. The box is under his bed, lid is off. There's a hissing noise and the creature slithers out. Merlin hears the hissing and sits up. He looks around the room, looks toward the door and the creature jumps at him, knocking him down. Merlin grabs it and falls to the floor. He manages to pull it off his face and throws it against the wall. Merlin struggles to breathe. The creature starts to move toward him and he backs up against a barrel. Just as it leaps again Gaius comes in with a shovel and kills it. Gaius goes to Merlin. Gaius: Merlin. Merlin. Merlin is still struggling with breaths. He looks up at Gaius. Merlin: Gaius. Your head... (He points to the cut.) You...You should get that seen to. (He passes out). Merlin is on bed. Gaius is wiping his forehead with a cloth. Merlin comes around. Gaius: Merlin. Merlin: What happened? What was that thing? Gaius: Morgana's work, that’s for sure. Mordred would told her of your powers by now, Merlin. It was only a matter of time before she struck out. We can only be grateful that she failed. Gaius gets up. Merlin realises his throat is dry. He turns and looks at the cup sitting on the bed side table. He reaches his arm out. Merlin: Strangath. Nothing happens. He lifts his head up and tries again. Merlin: Strangath. (Nothing happens. He tries again.) Strangath. Merlin: Gaius! (Gaius comes back over and sits in the chair by the bed.) I don't think she failed. Gaius: Whatever do you mean? Merlin: I've lost my magic. The box that housed the creature is sitting on the table. Gaius is flipping through a book. Merlin is gazing out the window. Gaius: Look. Here. Merlin comes over to him to see what he has found. Gaius: It is the sign of the gean canach. Merlin: Gean canach. That...that’s the language of the Old Religion, isn't it? Gaius: Indeed. (Merlin crouches down next to Gaius.) "The gean canach is a fearsome creature, forged by the tears of the Earth Mother Nemaine. It devours the magic of others, draining them of their powers." Merlin: I thought all such creatures were destroyed in the Great Purge. Gaius: All but one, it would seem. --- Garrison The Saxons attck. Morgana is watching from a distance. Mordred walks up. Mordred: The garrison is surrounded, my lady. Morgana: Good. Are you ready? Mordred: I'm ready. Morgana holds out her hand, Mordred takes it. They lower their heads and start to chant. Morgana and Mordred: **Thurh minum gewealde ond thinum maegen geclippath we thone lieg the ealla awestath. They lift their heads and their eyes glow. A fre ball sh*t toward the garrison. It crashes into a cart. People jump to the ground and roll out of the way. Gwaine and other knights come out a tunnelling fighting. A blonde woman runs and gets caught by a Saxon. Saxon: Come here, pretty one. Eira: Help! Help! Gwaine comes to the rescue. He grabs the soldier and places his sword at his throat. Gwaine: Let her go. She's not your enemy. I am. The man elbows Gwaine, knocking him to the ground. Before he can do anymore danger the woman hits him on the head with a piece of wood. As he falls forward Gwaine jumps up and sab him. He goes to the woman, grabs the wood from her hand and drops it. He puts an arm around her shoulders and leads her away. Leon and others fight under a walkway. Leon: We cannot hold them! Sound the retreat! Send word to Camelot! They retreat with the Saxons running after them. --- King’s Palace, entrance/corridor The knights return to Camelot. Gaius walks down the corridor tending to hurt people. He stops at a knight that is holding his head. Merlin stands at the end of corridor watching everything that is going on to and knows there is nothing he can do. Gaius walks toward him. Gaius: The garrison at Stawell was attcked. Merlin: Morgana? Gaius: It would seem so. It cannot be a consequence. She has picked the moment you are most helpless to begin her attck. Merlin: What am I going to do? Gaius: Well for the moment you are going to help me treat the wounded. (He grabs Merlin's arm and leads him forward.) Your skill as a physician is still valid. Merlin is treating Eira wound on her leg. Gwaine looks on. Merlin: Sorry. Almost done. He grabs a Knfe to cut the extra length of the bandage. Eira looks up at Gwaine. Gwaine: Don't worry. Merlin knows what he's doing. Merlin gets up. Eira adjusts her skirt. Eira: Do you have news from Stawell? Have you heard from my family? Gwaine glances at Merlin before answering. Gwaine: Eira, your family...the people of your town...you're the only one who survived the attck. Eira: I...alone... Merlin watches. Gwaine kneels down next to her and places a hand over hers. Gwaine: I'm sorry. Eira, whatever happens... you'll be safe here in Camelot. You have my word. Eira: Thank you. --- King’s Palace, Throne Hall Arthur, Gwen and the knights sit at the Round Table. Merlin stands in the background. Leon: A force of Saxons, sire. They crossed the northern border last night and attcked the garrison at Stawell. Arthur: They march under Morgana's command? Gwaine: There can be no doubt about it, sire. It was not just men we faced, but sorcery. Arthur: We shouldn't be surprised. She's been massing an army for weeks. Now with Stawell taken, she has a base at our northern border, which can only mean one thing. Gwen: She means to take Camelot. Percival: Then she's already made her first mistake. Leon: We have sufficient time to prepare our defences, sire. We can make our stand here. However great her army the walls of Camelot will hold. The citadel will not fall. Arthur: Perhaps. Perhaps not. But we've already deserted Stawell. I won't forsake the people of this land while we take refuge here. Percival: But we can protect them, sire, in Camelot itself. Arthur: Some but not all. Countless, men, women and children will be left behind. People who I've vowed to protect. Gwen: We cannot save everyone, Arthur. No matter how much we may wish it. Arthur: There is a way. One way alone. We ensure that she never makes it this far. Percival: We...ride out and meet them? Arthur: Man to man. Leon: But, sire, Morgana commands an army of thousands. Arthur: Nonetheless, it’s our duty as protectors of this land. We cannot stand by, and let our citizens be slaughtered. Those are not the values that Camelot was built on. Whatever the outcome of this battle, my sister cannot and will not desecrate those values. A wr has gn. --- Forest (night) Aithusa breathes fre on a sword. Morgana: Your blade, Mordred. (She holds it out to him.) Forged in a dragon's breath. Nothing can survive its touch. A wapon worthy of my proudest warrior. Mordred takes the blade and holds it up in front of him. Mordred: Then I shall wield it in victory, and with honour. --- King’s Palace – Council Chambers Arthur and some knights look over a map. Merlin stands in the background. Arthur: To reach Camelot, Morgana will have no choice but to cross the White Mountains. (He sets a smaller map down and unrolls it.) Now, the only pass that gives passage to an army that size, is here. (He points to a place.) Percival: I know it well. The path is bounded by cliffs on either side. Arthur: That’s where we meet them. Now we may be outnumbered but if don't let them outflank us then we can hold the pass. Leon: How long? Morgana has no care for the lives of her men. Arthur: She can't supply for an army that size indefinitely. Not isolated by the mountains. If we can hold out long enough she'll be forced to retreat. Percival, at what point is the pass at its narrowest. Percival: Here, sire. Arthur: What do they call this place? Percival: Camlann, sire. Arthur: Then it is at Camlann, that we make our stand. ---- Physician’s chambers Merlin: I hoped to never hear that name again. Gaius: You cannot go, Merlin. You will have to persuade him. Merlin: I know Arthur better than I know myself. He'll mot listen. Gaius: If Arthur goes to Camlann, the prophecy will come true and he will die. Merlin: This battle is the only way he knows how to save his people. If he's going to lose his life, he'll still go. Gaius: Then what are we to do? Merlin: If I can't prevent him from going then I must protect him as best as I can. Gaius: But you can't protect him without your magic. Merlin: Then I must regain my magic. Gaius: I can't restore it. It's beyond my power. Merlin: I know. Perhaps it’s beyond anyone's power. If there’s an answer, I must seek it elsewhere. Gaius: But where? Merlin: The birthplace of magic itself, the crystal cave. Gaius: But the Valley of The Fallen Kings is crawling with bandits. Without your powers you won't stand a chance. Merlin: Which is why I won't be going alone. --- Gwaine’s chambers Gwaine is getting ready to leave. Eira: I thought you weren't going till the sundown. Gwaine: There’s something I have to do first. A favour for my friend Merlin. Eira: Where you going? Gwaine: The Valley of the Fallen Kings. Eira: Why? Gwaine: Don't worry. I won't be long. --- Royal chambers Arthur's armour is laid out on the table. Merlin: I think that you'll find that’s everything, sire. Arthur: Impressive. Very impressive. Never seen work like it. Not from you anyway. Merlin: Thank you, sire. Arthur: So, where are you after? Merlin: After? Arthur: Come on, Merlin. You’re the worst servant in the history of the world. Now suddenly this. Is it money? Merlin: No. Arthur: No, it can't be that. You already won all of mine. Time off? Merlin: Arthur... Arthur: No. It can't be that either. You don't really do anything. Merlin: I just wanted to make sure you had all you needed for your journey to Camlann. For the days ahead. Arthur: Thank you, Merlin. What do you mean, my journey? Merlin: I'm afraid I won't be coming with you. Not this time. I'm sorry. I have an urgent errand to run for Gaius. Vital supplies that I can't obtain here. Arthur: Vital supplies... Merlin: Yes. It's not that I... Arthur: No, no. It's fine... It's fine. I understand. Merlin: Arthur... Arthur: You know, Merlin, all those jokes about you being a coward...I never really meant any of them...I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met... Guess I was wrong. --- Kings Palace, Main Square Merlin and Gwaine ride out. Eira watches from a window. --- Forest Merlin and Gwaine journey to The Valley of The Fallen Kings. --- Kings Palace, Main Square Arthur and the knights get ready. Gwen comes up. Gwen: Arthur! Arthur: Guinevere. What are you doing? Gwen: I'm coming with you. Arthur: The bttlefield is no place for a queen. Gwen: I have no intention of joining you there. I can assure you. Arthur, if these are to be your last days, I would far rather spend them together then sit waiting for a man that I might never see again. --- Forest A woman rides out. It’s Eira. She dismounts and walks to a spot. A sword come to her throat, Mordred steps out behind her. Morgana: Gently, Mordred. She can't speak with her throat cut out now, can she? Morgana walks up and stands beside Mordred. Mordred puts the sword away. Morgana: Well, Eira, I trust Sir Gwaine has found your company to his satisfaction. Eira: I like to think so. Morgana: Has he been forthcoming about Arthur's plans? Eira: He's kept no secrets from me. Morgana: Well? Does the king intend to ride out and meet us? Eira: He does, my lady. The king and his men depart from Camelot as we speak. Morgana: Then it is as we have anticipated. Thank you, Eira. You've been most informative. Morgana hands her a pouch with gold and she starts to leave. She remembers something and turns back. Eira: Something else. The knight said he was taking Merlin somewhere. The Valley of The Fallen Kings, I think. She leaves. Morgana: Merlin? Why would Merlin leave Arthur now? Mordred: Why shouldn't he? He's of no further use to his king after all. Morgana: Perhaps... Why the Valley of The Fallen Kings? (Mordred lowers his head. She turns toward Mordred.) What is it Mordred? Mordred: When I was a boy the Druids told me of this special place. A place where magic itself was born. It was said to lie within the valley... They called it the crystal cave. Morgana: This can mean only one thing, Emrys means to get his powers back. --- The Valley of the Fallen Kings Merlin and Gwaine walk through the valley. Gwaine: Thanks for everything that you did for Eira. Merlin: There's no need to thank me, it was the least I could do. You seem to care for her. Gwaine: I could hardly leave her to the Saxons now could I? Merlin: That was your only reason for rescuing her? Gwaine: Of course! A twig snaps and bandits come running at them. Gwaine turns to fight them. He stops the blow of one and pushes him to the ground. He punches the other one and knocks him to the ground as the first one gets up. He goes after Merlin, who falls to the ground. Merlin: Gwaine! Gwaine sab him in the back, pulls the sword out and without looking sab the other guy who has gotten up and is standing behind him. Gwaine: You okay? He offers Merlin a hand up. Merlin: Yeah. I think so. Thank you. Gwaine: There's no need to thank me Merlin. It was the least I could do. --- Forest Morgana rides toward the crystal cave. --- The Valley of the Fallen Kings Merlin and Gwaine come to an entrance of the crystal cave. Merlin: I can make my own way from here. Gwaine: Sorry? Merlin: You needn't come any further. I'll be fine. Gwaine: How will you get back to Camelot? There are bandits everywhere. Merlin: Once I have what I'm looking for I'll be perfectly safe, I promise you. Gwaine: What are you looking for? Merlin: I can't tell you that, Gwaine. (Merlin turns to look at Gwaine.) You'll just have to trust me. You should get going, Arthur will need you by his side. Gwaine: Look after yourself Merlin. (He holds his sword out, hilt first, to Merlin. Merlin reaches to take it.) You know when to use the sharp end, right? Merlin: Yeah. They grasp arms. Gwaine: I hope you find what you're looking for. The Crystal Cave Merlin crawls through a tight space with a torch, until he can get to the tunnel. The flame goes out and he stops. Morgana: Emrys. (Morgana is nowhere to be seen though.) Over here, Emrys. Merlin pulls the sword from his belt and walks forward. Merlin: I see you, Morgana. Morgana: How well you've kept your secret. (Morgana moves behind and he turns but she’s no longer there.) How well you've protected my brother. Merlin: Face me, Morgana! Morgana's voice sounds like it’s coming from different directions. Merlin keeps on turning to where her voice sounds like it’s coming from. Morgana: Who would have thought it? A worthless servant with all that power. Merlin: Face me! Morgana: But you cannot help your king now. You cannot even help yourself. Merlin: Then why do you hide? Are you still afraid of me? He turns back the way he came. Morgana comes through the doorway behind him. Morgana: I fear no one. Least of all you. Merlin swings the sword around and cuts her arm. He holds the sword up to her. She chuckles. Morgana: You have defied me for the last time, Emrys. She starts to back up, Merlin walks toward her. Once through the doorway she causes rocks to fall to block his way. Morgana: **Stanas ahreosath! --- Passageway Morgana's army marches through a pass. Leon and Percival watch from behind a rock. Leon: Send word to the king. The enemy will reach Camlann by sundown tomorrow and we underestimated their forces. They outnumber us five to one. --- The Crystal Cave Merlin is sitting on the floor leaning against the rocks that are blocking the doorway. He gets up and tries to move a rock but it’s stuck fast. He reaches higher up and pulls some small rocks away. He tries frantically to pull the rocks down but nothing happens. He slides to the ground, and starts to sob. Merlin: (He hits the rock.) Aaahhh!!! --- Forest The knights make camp. Gwen and Gaius sit next to a fre with Arthur near them. Gaius is mixing something together. Arthur: Vital supplies. Gaius looks up from what he is doing. Gaius: Excuse me, sire? Arthur: It's a shame Merlin didn't feel able to join us. Gaius: I'm sorry Sire for I must take the blame. Gwen looks at Gaius. Gaius: But I cannot treat the wounded without sufficient medicine. The timing is unfortunate, I grant you. Arthur: Yes. Unfortunate as you say. Arthur walks away. Gaius watches him leave. Gwen: I'm not sure he believes you, Gaius. (He turns back to face Gwen.) I'm not sure I do either. I know how devoted Merlin is to Arthur. He would never leave him at a time like this. Not for a mere errand. Not unless there was something else. Something he doesn't feel able to talk about it. Gaius: My lady, there is something else. Something of the very greatest importance. And I very dearly wish I could tell you what it is, but I cannot. For reasons that affects us all. Gwen: Then there is nothing more to be said, except whatever it is, I wish him luck. --- The Crystal Cave Merlin is still leaning against the rock. He looks up and sees a light shining through a tunnel. He gets up and starts climbing toward it. He makes it to the top and walks in and then faints. --- Camlann The knights make it to Camlann. Arthur and a group of knights go up a short passageway. He holds his hand to halt everyone. They look at the dad end area before them. Arthur: This is it. Camlann. The fate of the kingdom will be decided here. Make camp, take up positions. Leon: It's a death trap, sire. Arthur: That's the idea. Leon: Morgana will have no means of escape. But neither will we. Arthur: They'd always outflank us. This is our only chance. (He looks at Leon.) It ends here, Leon. Be it life or death, it ends here. ---- The Crystal Cave Merlin is still passed out on the floor of the cave. Crystals surround him. A man's voice: Merlin... Merlin opens his eyes Merlin: Father? He turns his head the other way and Balinor's ghost is standing in front of him. Balinor: My son. Merlin: Are you here? Are you real? Balinor: dad or alive, real or imagined, past or present. These things are of no consequence. All that matters is that you heed the words of your father who loves you. Do not let go, Merlin, do not give in. Merlin: I have no reason to go on. The battle is already over. Morgana has won. Balinor: Only if you accept defeat. But if you fight, if you let hope into your heart, Morgana cannot be victorious. Merlin: What hope is there without my magic? Balinor kneels down next to Merlin. Balinor: Merlin, you are more than a son of you father. You are son of the earth, the sea, the sky, magic is the fabric of this world, and you were born of that magic. You are magic itself. You cannot lose what you are. Merlin: But how do I find myself again? Balinor: Believe, Merlin. Believe what your heart knows to be true. That you have always been, and always will be... Merlin: Always will be... Balinor: Rest now. Rest my son. And soon you shall awaken into the light. Merlin falls asleep. ---- Wetland Morgana's army marches forward through a wetland with Mordred at the head, on a horse. ---- Camlann – King’s tent The knights have set camp. Arthur is in his tent sitting at a table, thinking. Gwen steps in front of him. He looks up at her. She puts her hands around a pole and leans her head against it. She can tell something is troubling him. Gwen: What is it? Arthur: What if Sir Leon was right? Perhaps we should have made our stand at Camelot. Gwen: Your plan is brave and bold. And our only chance of defeating Morgana once and for all. Yes, we could have held out in the citadel, but for how long, and at what cost to the kingdom? I have never for a moment doubted the valour and the wisdom of this choice. Arthur: If you do not doubt me, Guinevere, then I do not doubt myself. That gives me strength greater than any wapon. (They hug.) Gwen: Come, we must rest while we can. ---- Rocky landscape Morgana looks out over her camp. Mordred walks up to her. Morgana: Have the outriders returned? Mordred: Arthur has made camp at Camlann. Morgana: And the path? Did you find it? Mordred nods. Mordred: It was well concealed. Morgana: If Arthur imagines we can't outflank, he's in for an unpleasant surprise. Send a hundred warriors. Good ones. Mordred: I'll choose them myself. Morgana: And prepare the army, we attck tonight. Mordred nods and leaves. --- The Crystal Cave Merlin is fully healed of the cuts that were on his face. He opens his eyes, sits up and touches his face. Rubbing a place where there was a cut and sees that there is no blood on his hand when he pulls his hand away. He slowly gets into a crouching position while looking around him. Merlin cups his hands together. Merlin: **Gewyrc an lif! Merlin's eyes glow. There is small fluttering noise. He opens his hands and a blue butterfly flies away. He watches it with a smile on his face. He stands up and finds a crystal. Merlin puts his hand out and imagines start to flash through the crystal. Some are from previous episodes. He sees Excalibur coming out of the lake, Mordred leading the Saxons through the wetland, the red of an old dress of Morgana's, him receiving a spell from the dragon, the Saxons marching along a path to attck. He flashes through several more to find Arthur. Merlin: Arthur where are you? Merlin sees the camp at Camlann and Arthur and Gwen sleeping. Merlin: Arthur. Arthur, I'm sorry I had to leave you. I didn't want to. I hope one day you'll understand why. Your plan is a good one and you may yet save this kingdom, but you must beware. Your army's flank is vulnerable. There's an old path over the ridge of Camlann, and Morgana knows of it. She means to trap you, Arthur. Find the path or the battle will be over before it's gn. Find the path! ---- Camlann – King's tent and camp Arthur opens his eyes and leans up, waking Gwen as well. He has a confused look on his face. Gwen: What's the matter? Arthur: Merlin... Gwen: It was a dream Arthur. Just a dream. Arthur: It didn't feel like a dream. It felt... He throws the covers back and gets up.) Gwen: Arthur! Arthur bursts out of the tent. Leon: Sire, the scouts report that Morgana's army is on the move. Arthur: She'll attck before the night is done. Tell our men to prepare. Leon: Yes, Sire! Arthur: Percival! Gwaine! (They head toward Arthur.) Take a patrol of men to the rear of us. You're looking for a hidden path running into the mountains. She means to outflank us, we must stop her now. Percival and Gwaine lead a patrol of men up the path. Percival holds his hand up and everyone halts. Arthur is in his armour, standing before his army. Arthur: Tonight...we do battle. Tonight we end this wr. We end a wr as old as the land itself. A wr against tyrany... and greed ... and spite. Not all will greet the dawn, some will live, some will die. But each and every one of you fights with honour, and with pride. For not only do we fight for our lives, we fight for the future. The future of Camelot. The future of Albion. The future of the United Kingdoms. (He lifts Excalibur into the air.) For the love of Camelot! All: For the love of Camelot! --- The Crystal Cave Arthur is shown in the crystal. Merlin straightens up after watching everything that just took place. He turns around and sees his father. Merlin: Thank you. For your help, your guidance. Balinor: I only offered a hand. You stand tall on your own two feet, Merlin, you always have done. Merlin: As did you, father. I follow in your footsteps. Balinor: Your journey has only just gn. You wield a power you yet cannot conceive of. Only in the heart of the crystal cave will your true self be revealed. (They turn toward the centre of cave.) Move towards the light. Your destiny awaits. Do not be afraid. Trust in what you are, trust in what will be. Merlin walks toward the light. He stops and looks back his father. Merlin: Goodbye, father. Balinor: There are no goodbyes, Emrys, for I will always be... as you will always be. Merlin climbs up a step and walks to the light. ---- Camlann The armies stand facing each other. The Saxons bat their shields. Morgana stands on a cliff edge watching. Arthur draws his sword and holds it up. Arthur: On me! They charge at the Saxons. The Saxons charge back. The battle begins. The Saxons along the hidden path run at Percival, Gwaine and the others. Percival: On me! They charge at the oncoming Saxons and clash. Arthur cuts downs Saxons. He slashes one, flips one over his back, hits one as he runs past, cuts one down from behind. Ducks an attck and kicks the guy in the chest. Cuts another one down as the guy leaps at him. He runs on. Morgana watches Mordred from above. Mordred cuts down a couple of knights, he keeps looking around for Arthur. --- The Crystal Cave Rocks go flying as a spell breaks through a barricade. Old Merlin steps out, angry.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x12 - The Diamond of the Day - Part One"}	foreverdreaming
Episode 5.13 : The Diamond of the Day - Part Two Camlann The battle continues. ---- Forest Old Merlin riding as fast as he can to get to Camlann. ---- Camlann Mordred continues to cut down Camelot knights, as he continues his search for Arthur. Knights surround Mordred. Morgana throws them back with a flash of her eyes Mordred turns and looks up at her. She nods. He walks on. --- Forest Old Merlin continues his rapid pace. --- Camlann Aithusa screeches and flies overhead. Arthur looks up and sees her. She swoops down, everyone ducks and Aithusa blows fre over them. ---- bttlefield, Hospital tent Gaius tends to the wounded. Gwen enters. Gwen: Bandages. I need bandages. She goes to the table that has the bandages. A knight moves past. A Saxon bursts in, swinging an axe. A knight blocks his attck, misses one, gets knock in the stomach with the axe, pushed back and kicked down on a table. The Saxon raises the axe above his head for the kll. Gwen sab him in the back, klling him. --- Wetland Old Merlin continues on. ---- Camlann Beroun cuts through the knights. Arthur fights a Saxon, elbows him and knocks him to the ground. He dispatches another, turning into another Saxon and disposes of him as well. A group of Saxons charge at Arthur but before they can strike a blast of lightning knocks them down. Another group comes in from the other side, they get struck down as well. Arthur glances around and looks up at the top of the cliff. Arthur sees Old Merlin and they regard each other for a second. Old Merlin strikes another group of Saxons down. Morgana: Emrys! Old Merlin throws Morgana off her little cliff and she lands among the dad that are scattered. Old Merlin strikes more Saxons down. Arthur watches as they fall. Aithusa screeches and comes back to attck again. Old Merlin: **Nun de ge dei s'eikein kai emois epe'essin hepesthai. Weas! Aithusa halts her attck and leaves. Arthur stares up at Old Merlin. Arthur turns to the knights behind and raises his sword. Arthur: For the love of Camelot! They charge after the Saxons. The Saxons retreat. ---- bttlefield, Hospital tent Gwen and Gaius are standing outside the tent watching Old Merlin. Gwen: Who is that? Gaius: Someone truly remarkable. Gwen: You know him? Gaius: Let's just say he deserves our gratitude. Gwen looks up at Old Merlin until he leaves. She goes back in the tent. Old Merlin walks across the ground looking at the bodies as he passes. Arthur dispatches a Saxon and looks around. A knight raises his arm up and Arthur runs to him. Just as Arthur gets to him he dies. Mordred steps out from behind a rock and walks toward Arthur, he raises his sword...Arthur either hears him or sees his reflection in a sword on the ground. He stands and blocks the attck, he goes to sab and stops, realising it’s Mordred. Mordred sab him and withdraws the sword, fatally wounding him. Arthur goes to a knee. Mordred: You gave me no choice. Arthur finds the strength and stands thrusting his sword into Mordred. They stare at each other. Arthur thrusts the sword one more time and withdraws it. Mordred smiles at Arthur and dies. Arthur lets go of Mordred's chainmail and lets him fall. Arthur turns and starts to walk with his hand over the wound but goes down. ---- bttlefield, Hospital tent Gwen and Gaius are standing outside the tent watching Old Merlin. Gwen is helping tend to the wounded. Leon enters and sees Gwen. Leon: My lady. The battle is won. The Saxons are in full retreat. They're making for the hills. I've dispatched 200 men to drive our advantage home. Gwen goes to him. Gwen: And Arthur? Leon: We'll keep looking. Gwen: Thank you. She turns away, puts a hand to head and the other hand on the table. Leon looks on but doesn't know what to do. Gwen gets a hold of herself. Gwen: Oh, I'll need some fresh water. The knight nods and leaves to get the water. She rolls up her sleeves. She goes back to the knight she was helping. Leon leaves. --- Camlann Old Merlin continues his search for Arthur. He sees him sitting slumped over on a rock. He drops his staff and goes to Arthur. He feels for a pulse. He puts Arthur's arm over his shoulder and pulls him up. Old Merlin carries Arthur off the bttlefield. Arthur still has a hold of Excalibur. ---- Forest Arthur wakes up. Merlin is himself again. He’s sitting on the other side of the campfire with his back to Arthur. Arthur: Merlin. Merlin gets up and goes to him. Merlin: How are you feeling? Arthur tries to move into a sitting position. But the pain is too much. Arthur: Ah, ah! He grabs Merlin's shoulder. Merlin puts a hand on Arthur's shoulder, and then grabs his arm. Merlin: Lie back. Lie back. Arthur: Where... Where have you been? Merlin: It doesn't matter now. Arthur: Ah, my side...my side. Merlin glances at the wound. Merlin: You are bleeding. Arthur: That's all right. I thought I was dying. Merlin: I'm sorry. I thought I'd defied the prophecy. I thought I was in time. Arthur: What are you talking about? Merlin: I'd defeated the Saxons... the dragon, and yet... And yet I knew it was Mordred that I must stop. Arthur pats Merlin on the shoulder. Arthur: The person who defeated them was the sorcerer. Merlin: It was me. Merlin grips Arthur's wrist as he sobs. Arthur: Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. He looks back at Merlin. Arthur: This is stupid. Why... why would you say that? Merlin: I'm a... (Merlin stops cause of how bad he crying. He points to himself.) I'm a sorcerer. I have magic. And I use it for you, Arthur. Only for you. Arthur: Merlin, you are not a sorcerer. I would know! Merlin: Look. Here... (Merlin turns his head toward the fre and raises his hand. Arthur raises his head.) ** Upastige draca! An animated dragon forms from the flames. Merlin looks back at Arthur. Arthur isn't quite sure how to act. Arthur: Hmm... Leave me. Merlin: Arthur... Arthur: No. Just...you heard! Just ... Merlin leaves. Arthur looks at Merlin Arthur: Hmm --- King’s Palace, royal chambers Gwen looks out the window. Knights move through the square. Bodies covered with sheets line the square. Leon enters. He walks to her and stops a few feet away. Leon: Three more patrols have returned from the White Mountains, my lady. There is no sign of him. Gwen: He must be somewhere! Leon: We have spoken to every villager, every man, woman, child... there has been no word. Gwen: He is out there. Leon: We will keep searching. Gwen: He is alive. I know it, I can feel it. He turns to leave as she turns around. Gwen: Who else is still unaccounted for? Leon: Gaius. Gwen: He's not been seen? Leon: Not since the battle. Leon leaves. ---- Forest Gaius walks through the woods to Merlin and Arthur. Merlin sits at a fre next to Arthur. He stands as Gaius comes up. Arthur is asleep or pretending to be. Gaius: Any change? Merlin: No. Gaius: Let me see. Gaius goes to Arthur's side. Merlin notices the herbs that Gaius is carrying or lack of. Merlin: Is that all you got? Gaius: The hills are crawling with Saxons. Merlin: There's no yarrow, no lady's mantle? Gaius: I got comfrey. Merlin: You should've got sticklewort. There must've been sticklewort. Gaius: Merlin, why don't you water the horses. And make sure they're fed, we can't hide here for much longer. Merlin leaves. Arthur cracks his eyes open to see he's gone. He grab's Gaius's robe. Arthur: He's a sorcerer. Gaius doesn't say anything. Just looks at him. Arthur: You knew. Gaius: Arthur... he is your friend Arthur: I want him gone. Gaius: There is no need to fear him. Arthur: Have him take word to Camelot... To Guinevere. Gaius: You cannot send Merlin. I will go. Arthur: I need a physician right now, not a sorcerer. Gaius: He can do far more than me, far more than you can ever imagine. Arthur, he doesn't just have magic...there are those who say he's the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the Earth. Arthur: Merlin ?! Gaius: If you are to stand any chance of survival, you'll need Merlin to help you, not me. Arthur looks the way that Merlin went. He's trying to process all this information. Merlin is feeding Gaius's horse from his hand. He strokes its nose as Gaius walks up. Merlin hears Gaius and turns towards him. Merlin: Gaius ? Gaius: There's a fragment of sword embedded in his chest. Merlin: Then we'll use magic to draw to it out. Gaius: No, the blade that struck Arthur is no ordinary blade. I fear it was forged in a dragon's breath. Its fatal power will not be easily denied. Merlin: Aithusa. Gaius: The blade's point is travelling inexorably towards his heart. Not even you could hope to thwart such magic. It would take a power as ancient as the dragons themselves. Merlin: No. There must be something that we can do, Gaius. Gaius: Only the Sidhe possess such magic. In the midst of the Lake Of Avalon there is an ancient isle. That is the source of their power. You must take him there. Merlin: He won't allow that. Gaius: He will. I spoke to him. --- Hillside There is a pile of rocks. A blade is driven into the ground, there is a piece missing. A tearful Morgana stands next to the grave of Mordred. Morgana: The battle is not over, Mordred. We will have our revenge. --- Forest Merlin walks up to Arthur. Merlin: Arthur? (Arthur turns his head toward him.) We need to leave at first light. Arthur: I'll decide. Merlin: I can't let you die. Arthur looks up at him. Arthur: It doesn't change anything. He looks away and closes his eyes. Gaius: Let him sleep. It's late. (Merlin walks to Gaius.) You cannot travel tonight. (Merlin steps past Gaius and looks out into the forest.) You were right to tell him. Gaius leaves. --- Morgana’s Fortress Morgana sits on her throne. The door opens, Beroun and two other Saxons enter. They bow. Beroun: My lady, we've searched every valley, every gorge, every gully. The king is nowhere to be found. Morgana raise her head and shouts. Morgana: I want him dad! Beroun: We've looked... Morgana clenches her hand and her eyes glow. The Saxon to the right of Beroun falls down dad. Morgana: Find him. Beroun and the other Saxon bow and leave. ---- Forest Merlin pushes Arthur upright on his horse. Arthur takes something off from around his neck. Arthur: Gaius... Gaius walks up to Arthur as Merlin walks away. Arthur: Give this to Guinevere. He places the necklace in Gaius's hand. Gaius: It's the Royal Seal, sire. Arthur: If I am to die, I can think of no one who I would rather succeed me. Gaius places his other hand on top of Arthur's, nods and walks to Merlin. Merlin: You know I was betrayed. The girl, Eira cannot be trusted. Gaius: I know. Merlin: How long does he have? Gaius: At best, two days. Merlin walks around Gaius and back to Arthur. Gaius: Merlin. (Merlin turns back and goes to hug Gaius.) I'll have your favourite meal waiting for you. Now go. Look after him. Go. Gaius backs away. Merlin takes the reins of Arthur's horse and grabs his horse and walks away. He looks back at Gaius one last time. --- King’s Palace, royal chambers Gwen sees Gaius ride into the Main Square. She leaves to meet him. --- King’s Palace, Griffin staircase Gaius walks up the stairs with Gwaine. Gwen comes down the stairs and meets them. Gwen: Gaius. Gaius: My lady. Gwen: Tell me! Gaius: He's alive. Gwen gasps of relief. Gwaine: Then why isn't he with you? Gaius: He's wounded. (He holds out the Royal Seal.) He wanted me to give you this, my lady. Gwen takes it. Gwen: Where is he? Gaius: There is a place where he may be saved. Merlin is taking him there as we speak. Gwen: Well then we must send the knights. Ready as many men as you can... Gaius: No, my lady! Merlin can cope by himself. Gwen: Merlin ? Gaius: You must trust him. Gwen: (Outburst.) How can one man be as strong as an army? Gaius: Morgana's forces are still searching for Arthur. Two men travelling alone stand a much better chance of evading her, especially if she has no idea where they're heading. He looks at Gwaine. Gwaine seems a little uneasy. Gwen glances at Gwaine. ---- King’s Palace Gwaine is looking out of a window as Eira walks up to him. Eira: Hey. What is it? Tell me. Gwaine: I, can't. Eira: Why not? Is it the King? What's happened to him? Gwaine? Is he dad? Gwaine: No. Eira: How do you know? Where is he? Gwaine? Don't you trust me? Gwaine: I do. Eira: Then tell me. ---- Open landscape Merlin and Arthur ride along. Merlin sees two men galloping their way. Merlin: Saxons. He dismounts and unties his blanket from the back of his saddle. He throws it over Arthur to cover his armour. Merlin: I'll deal with them. Keep your head down. Don't speak. Arthur grabs the edges of the blanket and pulls it around his face. Merlin steps away from Arthur and looks around. He makes fake smoke appear in the trees ahead with a flash of his eyes. Then turns to the Saxons as they come galloping up. Merlin: Help us! Please you have to help us. We were ambushed. The Saxons dismount and walk towards him. Beroun: By who? Merlin: These two men. Beroun: What did they look like? Merlin: Um...One was... a knight. (He glances over his shoulder and notices that Excalibur’s hilt can be seen.) They stormed our camp. He points to the smoke.The Saxons take a few steps to look at the smoke rising from the forest. Merlin goes and covers the hilt of the sword. The Saxons turn back around. Beroun: You're sure it was a Camelot knight? Merlin: Yeah. Beroun pushes Merlin back as he walks forward. He pulls the blanket off of Arthur. The Saxons draw their swords. Merlin raises his hands and throws the Saxons with a flash of his eyes. Arthur watches. Arthur: You've lied to me all this time. Merlin doesn't say anything. ---- Campsite Merlin is trying to light a fre using flints. Arthur watches as he fails to light it. Arthur: Why don't you use magic? Merlin: Habit, I suppose. Merlin turns to look at Arthur. Merlin starts a fre with a flash of his eyes. Merlin: Feels strange. Arthur: Yeah. Merlin gets up and walks to the bags. Arthur: I thought I knew you. Merlin unrolls his blanket. Merlin: I'm still the same person. Arthur: I trusted you. Merlin: I'm sorry. Arthur: I'm sorry too. Merlin walks to Arthur and takes his boots off. Arthur: What are you doing? Merlin: They need drying. Merlin sets the boots by the fre and goes to his blanket. --- King’s Palace Corridor Eira walks down a corridor carrying a basket. She goes to a room, sets the basket on table and pulls the blanket back. She reaches in and pulls out a crow. She releases it out the window. Gwaine walks up behind her. Gwaine: Eira. Eira jumps and steps back. Eira:I... I was just... Gwaine: Sending word to Morgana? Eira: No! Gwen walks up. Eira looks at her. Eira: My lady! I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't betray you or the king. Gwen: And you didn't, you can go to your death safe in that knowledge. Your note will send your mistress riding for Brineved and all the while the king will be travelling in the opposite direction. Guards! A guard goes in the room, grabs Eira's arm and pushes her out the room. The other guard grabs her other arm and they lead her away. Eira: Gwaine... Gwaine! Gwaine, please ! Gaius stands in the background. --- Forest Merlin supports Arthur's head and tries to get him to eat something. Merlin: This will be good for you. You need to eat. Arthur: Why are you doing this? (Merlin places the spoon back in the bowl.) Why are you still behaving like a servant? Merlin sets the bowl down. Merlin: It's my destiny. As it has been since the day we met. Arthur: I tried to take your head off with a mace. Merlin: And I stopped you, using magic. Arthur: You cheated! Merlin: Yeah. You were going to kll me. Arthur: I should've. Merlin: I'm glad you didn't. I do this because of who you are. Without you, Camelot's nothing. Arthur: There was a time when that was true. Not now. There are many who can fill the crown. Merlin: There will never be another like you, Arthur. Now, I also do this... (He sets the bowl on his knee, supports Arthur's head and gets him to take a bite) because you're my friend and I don't want to lose you. --- King’s Palace, Throne Hall Gwen is looking out the window. Gaius walks in. She turns around when she hears him. Gaius: You called for me, my lady. Gwen: I want to thank you, Gaius. Gaius: What for? Gwen: Unmasking Eira. I shall forever be in your debt, and Merlin's. Was it he that found Arthur? Gaius: He's a good servant. Gwen: He's always been there at Arthur's side. Gaius: Indeed. Gwen walks toward him. Gwen: The sorcerer in the battle. You knew who he was. Gaius: Yes. Gwen: Do I know him? Please Gaius, answer me honestly. Gaius: Yes... He'll take good care of Arthur. Gwen: Yes, I'm sure he will. I'm pleased. Gaius bows and leaves. --- Morgana’s Fortress The crow that Eira sent arrives. Morgana is standing with some of the Saxons. She walks toward it. The crow hops to her. Morgana takes the note off its leg, reads it and smiles. --- King’s Palace, Main Square Eira is escorted out to be hung. Gwen watches from the balcony. Gwaine is standing in a corridor watching through a window. Percival walks up behind him and puts a hand on his shoulder. Gwaine: You know what you said you'd do if you ever found Morgana? Percival looks at Gwaine. Gwaine: Well, we've got a good idea where she'll be heading. Gwaine and Percival race through a forest. --- Forest Arthur is sitting on tree about to fall over. Merlin is getting a water skin from his saddlebag. He turns to see Arthur slump over. Merlin: Arthur, you need to hold on. One more day. (Merlin helps him.) One more day. Merlin wipes Arthur's head with a cloth. Puts the cloth away and starts to take the cap off the water skin. Arthur: Why did you never tell me? Merlin: I wanted to, but... Arthur: What? Merlin: You'd have chopped my head off. Merlin gives Arthur a drink of water. Arthur: I'm not sure what I would've done. Merlin: And I didn't want to put you in that position. Arthur looks at Merlin. Arthur: That's what worried you? Merlin: Some men are born to plough fields. Some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me... I was born to serve you, Arthur. And I'm proud of that. And I wouldn't change a thing. (Arthur stares at Merlin.) Ready? Merlin puts Arthur's arm over his shoulders and helps him up. Creepy Forest A small group of Saxons and Morgana walk along a path in a forest. Gwaine and Percival hide behind a tree overhead, watching them. Morgana: Position lookouts for the king's approach. The Saxons move out. Percival up behind one, throws his arm around the guy's head putting him in a sleeper hold. Once the guy has passed out Percival lays him down. Gwaine comes up on one but the guy hears him. They cross swords but Gwaine cuts him down. Two Saxons come up on the guy Percival attcked. The second guy attcks Percival, they cross swords, Percival knocks him to the ground. Gwaine comes up as the other guy is about to swing and they cross swords. Each cut down a man. They go after Morgana. Gwaine catches up to her. She hears him and stops and glances over her shoulder. As Morgana starts to walk to him Percival jumps out through two trees with a dagger, he grabs her and sab her in the side. With his back turn, Morgana throws him and then Gwaine with a flash of her eyes and hand motions. They are both rendered unconscious. Morgana: Did you really think you could outwit me? --- Forest Merlin leads the way. He holds up his hand, Arthur stops. They see smoke up ahead. Arthur: Saxons? Merlin uses magic to 'see' the way to the fre. It’s an old smouldering fre and no one is there. Merlin: They're long gone. Arthur: How do you know? Merlin: I can 'see' the path ahead. Arthur: So you're not an idiot. That was another lie. Merlin: No, it’s just another part of my charm. --- Creepy Forest Gwaine comes around and sees that he is tied between two trees. Morgana is standing before him with a box. Morgana: Tell me where the kng is. Gwaine: I'd rather die. Morgana: Then you shall have your wish.. once you've told me. (She kneels down.) Not even you Sir Knight, can resist the charms of the Nathair. Morgana opens the box and a small black snake raise up, hissing. Gwaine struggle against his bonds. Percival come around. He is tied to two huge trees with the rope wrapped around wrists several times. He tests the ropes. Gwaine screams in the distance. Gwaine: Stop! Percival grabs a hold of the ropes with his hands and pulls, his face turning red with effort. The ropes break and he falls to his knees. He gets up. --- Forest Merlin and Arthur walk along. Merlin hears Saxons up ahead and holds his hand up. Arthur glances up. Merlin: In there. They turn to their right and hide in a secluded area off the path. Three Saxons on horseback come up the path. Arthur leans against a tree. Merlin watches from behind one. He sees a print that they left behind. Merlin: ** Andslyht! A small wind blows leaves across the print. The Saxons stop and look around. Merlin makes the bushes rustle to the right of the Saxons with a flash of his eyes. Saxon: This way. The Saxons leave. Arthur: You've done this before. (Merlin glances at Arthur then back to watch the Saxons). All these years, Merlin...You never once sought any credit. Merlin: It's not why I do it. Come on. Merlin puts Arthur’s arm over his shoulders and helps away. --- Creepy forest Percival walks up to Gwaine who is slumped over. Percival lifts Gwaine’s head up. Gwaine: She's riding for Avalon. Percival: Gwaine. Gwaine: I failed. Percival: No. You haven't. (Gwaine slowly dies.) Gwaine! Gwaine! --- Forest Merlin and Arthur ride along. Merlin looks back and Arthur is slumped over the side of his horse. Merlin: Arthur! Merlin dismounts and goes to Arthur. He straightens him up. Arthur: I can't go on. Merlin: There's not far to go. We need to reach the lake before dawn. Arthur: No, Merlin. No. Merlin: All right. We rest for an hour. --- Morgana races through the trees. --- Forest There’s a fre going. Arthur is sitting against a log. Merlin gives Arthur some water. Arthur: Merlin... whatever happens... Merlin: Shh...Don’t talk. Arthur: I'm the King, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do. Merlin: I always have. I'm not going to change now. Arthur: I don't want you to change. I want you...to always...be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you. Merlin: Hey! Does that mean you're gonna give me a day off? Arthur: Two. Merlin: That's generous. (Arthur's head lolls and goes down. Merlin checks his pulse.) Get some sleep. --- Morgana continues on. ---- Merlin glances up at the moon. He goes to Arthur and wakes him up. Merlin: Arthur. We need to get moving. (Arthur barely moves and Merlin shakes him.) Arthur! We've wasted enough time. ---- Percival dismounts from his horse and looks at the tracks Morgana left. --- Merlin and Arthur continue on. They stop again and Merlin helps Arthur forward to a log and sits him down. Avalon is in the distance. Merlin: Avalon. We'll get there. Something spooks the horses and they whinny. Merlin: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Horses flee and Morgana comes up. Morgana: Hello, Emrys. Merlin goes to turn around. Morgana throws him with a flash of her eyes. Arthur tries to reach for his sword. Thinking that Merlin is unconscious she turns to Arthur. Morgana: What a joy it is to see you, Arthur. Look at you, not so tall and mighty now. You may have won the battle, but you've lost the wr. You're going to die by Mordred's hand. But don't worry, my dear brother, I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you, (Merlin is behind Morgana. He draws Excalibur quietly.) ... until the wolves gorge on your carcass and bathe in your blood. Merlin: No, the time for all this bloodshed is over. (Morgana turns, stands and faces him) I blame myself for what you've become...but this has to end. Morgana: I am a high priestess. No mortal blade can kll me. Merlin sab her and she starts to feel the effect of the blade. Arthur looks on. Merlin: This is no mortal blade. Like yours, it was forged in a dragon's breath. Merlin holds Morgana as she dies. He lowers her to the ground and withdraws the sword. Merlin: Goodbye, Morgana. She takes her final breath.Merlin goes to Arthur and helps him up. Arthur: You've brought peace at last. Merlin: Come on. Merlin supports Arthur as they walk. Arthur is dragging Excalibur. Merlin: Come on. We have to make it to the lake. Arthur drops to the ground landing on Merlin. Arthur: Merlin...not without the horses. We can't, it's too late. It's too late. Merlin: No. Arthur: All your magic, Merlin, can't save my life. Merlin: I can. I'm not going to lose you. Merlin struggles to stand to help Arthur. Arthur pats his hand. Arthur: Just... just... just hold me. Please. Merlin stops trying to get up. Arthur: There's... there's... something I want to say.. Merlin: You're not going to say goodbye. Arthur: No, Merlin...Everything you've done. I know now. For me, for Camelot... For the kingdom you helped me build... Merlin: You'd have done it without me. Arthur: Maybe... I want to say...something I've never said to you before... (Arthur turns his head more and looks at Merlin.) Thank you. Arthur reaches up and touches Merlin on the back of the head. His hand falls. Merlin: Arthur...No ! Arthur! (He feels his pulse). Arthur! Arthur. Come on. (Merlin tries to move Arthur but can't.) Arthur! Merlin: *O drakon! E male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes! Merlin manages to get out from underneath Arthur. He presses his forehead against Arthur's. Kilgharrah arrives. Merlin: Kilgharrah. I would not have summoned you, if there was any other choice. I have one last favour to ask. Kilgharrah takes them to the lake. Merlin is dragging Arthur toward a small boat. Kilgharrah: Merlin. There is nothing you can do. Merlin: I've failed? Kilgharrah: No, young warlock, for all that you have dreamt of building, has come to pass. Merlin: I can't lose him! He's my friend! Kilgharrah: Though no man, no matter how great, can know his destiny, some lives have been foretold, Merlin... Arthur is not just a king, he is the once andfuture King. Take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest, Arthur will rise again. It has been a privilege to have known you, young warlock, the story we have been a part of... will live long in the minds of men. Kilgharrah flies off. Merlin watches. He then lowers Arthur to the ground. Merlin stares out over the lake, holding Excalibur. He looks down at the sword, and then raises it up in front of him looking at it. Merlin then throws Excalibur into the lake and it is caught by Freya's hand and drawn back under the water while he watches resignedly. Arthur is laid in a boat, his cloak arranged and his hands folded over his chest. Merlin places a hand on Arthur's forehead. Merlin breaks down. Merlin: Arthur. In sibbe gerest. The boat sets off on the lake. Merlin watches, weeping. --- King’s Palace – Throne Hall Gwen sits on the throne, looking at the Royal Seal. Leon stands beside her. She lifts her head, looks at him and gives a slight nod. The knights, the council and the court members. Percival looks up. Leon: The King is dad. Gaius and Gwen share a glance. Gwen looks back at Leon. Leon: Long live the Queen! All: Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Gwen looks at everyone standing before her. --- Modern day The pillar of stone that was the centre of the Sidhe powers still stands but not like it did before. A lorry rushes by, and an aged Merlin is seen walking on the road along what was once the lake of Avalon.	{"type": "series", "show": "Merlin", "episode": "05x13 - The Diamond of the Day - Part Two"}	foreverdreaming
"Elements of Harmony: See 'Mare in the Moon'?" But that's just an old ponies' tale. Twilight: "...She will bring about nighttime eternal!" It's imperative that the princess is told right away. (Spike burps) Twilight: I knew she would want to take immediate action. Spike: (reading) "My dear Twilight, there's more to a young pony's life than studying. Make some friends." (Pinkie Pie gasps) Twilight: All the ponies in this town are CRAZY! I hope the princess was right... Rarity: She's GONE! Twilight: Oh no...Nightmare Moon! (evil laughter, peals of thunder) (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends (evil laughter, peals of thunder) Seize her! Only she knows where the princess is! Stand back, you foals! (evil laughter, peals of thunder) Rainbow Dash: Come back here! Nighttime? Forever? (Spike groans sleepily) We gotta stop Nightmare! You've been up all night, Spike. You are a BABY dragon, after all. (crash) Twilight: Elements, Elements, Elements...Ugh! How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?! And just what ARE the Elements of Harmony? And how did YOU know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?! Rainbow Dash: Whoa! Applejack: Simmer down, Sally. She ain't no spy. But she sure knows what's goin' on...don'tcha, Twilight? I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them, I don't even know what they do! Pinkie Pie: "The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide." Twilight: How did you find that?! Twilight: "There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said the last known location of the five Elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now-" All: The Everfree Forest?! (spooky theremin music) Whee! Let's GO! Not so fast. Look, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own. Applejack: No can do, sugarcube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into THAT creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple. (all voicing agreement) Pinkie Pie: Especially if there's candy apples in there! Pinkie Pie: What? Those things are GOOD. (sighs) Twilight: So, none of you have been in here before? Rarity: Ugh! Heavens, no! Rarity: Just look at it! (squealing) It's dreadful! Applejack: And it ain't natural. Folks say it don't work the same way as Equestria. Twilight: (apprehensively) What's that supposed to mean? Rainbow Dash: (spooky vibrato) Nopony knows! You know why? Applejack: Rainbow, quit it! Rainbow Dash: ...'cause every pony who's ever come in has never...come...OUT! (ground rumbling, ponies screaming) Rainbow Dash: Fluttershy! Quick! Fluttershy: Ohmygoodness, ohmygoodness... (screaming) (Twilight screaming, rocks rolling down cliff face) Applejack: Hold on! I'm-a comin'! (hooves scraping cliff) Twilight: Applejack! What do I do?! Let go. Are you CRAZY?! No I ain't. I promise you'll be safe. That's not true! Now, listen here. What I'm sayin' to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you'll be safe. (screams) (Twilight sighs with relief) (Twilight yelps) (Applejack's hooves clop) Fluttershy: Sorry, girls. I'm not used to carrying more than a bunny or two. (feral roar) Rainbow Dash: And once Pinkie and Rarity were saved, WHOA! Me and Fluttershy loop-de-looped around and WHAM! Got you right in the nick of time. Yes, Rainbow, I was there. And I'm very grateful, but we gotta- (gasps) Twilight: A manticore! (feral roar) Twilight: We gotta get past him! (manticore snarls) (kick landing) Rarity: Take that, you ruffian! (roar) Rarity: (wailing) My hair! (Rarity shrieks) Fluttershy: Wait... (manticore grunts) (manticore snarling) Applejack: Yee-haw! Git along, little doggie! Fluttershy: Wait! (thudding, roar) Applejack: Whoa! All yours, partner. I'm on it! (whoosh) Fluttershy: Wait! (manticore snarling) (Rainbow Dash screams) Rainbow! (growls) (hooves scrape dirt) (snorts) Fluttershy: WAAAIT! (manticore snarls) Fluttershy: (motherly) Shh...it's okay. Oh, you poor, poor little baby. "Little?" Now, this might hurt for juuust a second... (roaring) All: Fluttershy! (manticore purring, Fluttershy giggling) Fluttershy: (baby talk) Aw, you're just a widdle old baby kitty, aren't you? Yes you are. Yes you are. How did you know about the thorn? I didn't. Sometimes we all just need to be shown a little kindness. Rarity: (shudders) My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck. Rarity: Well, I didn't mean that literally... Twilight: That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn't even know it! Rarity: I didn't see you there! My apology. (ponies talking over each other fearfully) Applejack: Oh wait, I think I stepped in somethin'. (Fluttershy screams) It's just mud... (Applejack yelps) (menacing growls) (all screaming) (Pinkie Pie laughing) All: Huh?! (making goofy noises, laughing) Twilight: Pinkie, what are you doing?! Run! Pinkie Pie: Oh girls, don't you see? (singing) When I was a little filly and the sun was going down Twilight: Tell me she's not... Pinkie Pie: (singing) The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown Rarity: She is. Pinkie Pie: (singing) I'd hide under my pillow from what I thought I'd saw But Granny Pie said that wasn't the way to deal with fears at all Rainbow Dash: Then what is?! Pinkie Pie: (singing) She said, Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall, learn to face your fears You'll see that they can't hurt you, just laugh to make them disappear Ha...ha...ha! (gasp) (all singing and laughing) So, giggle at the ghostly Guffaw at the ghastly Crack up at the creepy Applejack: Woohoo! Whoop it up with the weepy Chortle at the kooky Snortle at the spooky Pinkie Pie: (singing very rapidly) And tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing makes you wanna...HAHAHAHA hehehe... (holding note) Laaaaaaaaugh! (song ends, all laughing) (all laughing) (brakes squealing, thuds) How are we gonna cross this?! (distant cry) All: Huh? (sobbing, splashing) Sea serpent: (flamboyant accent) What a world! What a WORLD! (splash) Excuse me, sir. Why are you crying? Sea serpent: (histrionics) Well, I don't know. I was just SITTING here, minding my OWN business, when this tacky little cloud of purple smoke just WHISKED past me and tore half of my beloved moustache...CLEAN OFF! And now, I'm just SIMPLY HORRID! (sobbing theatrically, loud splash) Rainbow Dash: Oh, gimme a break. Applejack: THAT'S what all the fuss is about?! Rarity: Why, of COURSE it is! (haughty) How CAN you be so insensitive?! (sympathetic) Oh, just look at him. Such lovely luminescent scales. Sea serpent: (sniffs, whines) I know... Rarity: And your EXPERTLY coiffed mane. Sea serpent: (pleased) Oh, I know, I know! Rarity: Your FAAABULOUS manicure. Sea serpent: (gasps, gushing) It's so truuuue! Rarity: All RUINED without your beautiful moustache... Sea serpent: (wailing) It's TRUE, I'm HIDEOUS! Rarity: I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected. (chomp) Sea serpent: (whining) OW! What'd you do that for?! Twilight: Rarity, what are you- (slash) (sea serpent swooning dramatically) Sea serpent: (delighted) Oh, hohohohooo! (preening) My moustache! How WONDERFUL! Rarity: You look smashing. Twilight: Oh, Rarity! Your beautiful tail... Rarity: Oh, 'tis fine, my dear. Short tails are in this season. Besides, it'll grow back. Rainbow Dash: So would the moustache... Twilight: (gasps) We can cross now! Let's go- (screams) Sea serpent: (dramatically) Allow me. There it is! The ruin that holds the Elements of Harmony! Twilight: We made it! Applejack: Twilight! Wait for us! Twilight: We're almost there- (yelps) What's with you and falling off cliffs today? Pinkie Pie: (gasps) Now what?! Rainbow Dash: Duuuh. Pinkie Pie: Oh yeah! Voice: Rainbow...Rainbow... Rainbow Dash: Who's there?! (indignantly) I ain't scared o'you! Show yourself! voice: We've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the best flier in Equestria. Who? Voice: Why, you, of course. Really?! I mean...Oh yeah, me. Hey, uh, you wouldn't mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would ya? 'Cause I've been trying to get into that group for, like, EVER. Voice: No, Rainbow Dash. We want you to join US. The Shadowbolts. Shadowbolt: We are the greatest aerial team in the Everfree Forest, and soon we will be the greatest in all Equestria, but first, we need a captain. Shadowbolt: The most magnificent- Rainbow Dash: Yep. Shadowbolt: Swiftest- Rainbow Dash: Yes. Shadowbolt: Bravest flier in all the land. Rainbow Dash: Yes, (chuckle) it's all true. Shadowbolt: We need... (whispering) you. Rainbow Dash: WOOHOO! Sign me up! Rainbow Dash: Just lemme tie this bridge real quick, and then we have a deal. Shadowbolt: NO! It's THEM, or US. Twilight: Rainbow, what's taking so long? Twilight: Oh no...RAINBOW! (fog swooshes in) Twilight: Don't listen to them- (drowned out by fog) Shadowbolt: Weeeell? Rainbow Dash: You... Thank you. For the offer, I mean. But...I'm afraid I have to say no. (whoosh) (all cheering) See? I'd NEVER leave my friends hangin'. Applejack: Whoa. Come on, Twilight. Isn't this what you've been waitin' for? Twilight: The Elements of Harmony! We've found them! Twilight: Careful...Careful... Pinkie Pie: One, two, three, four...There's only five! Rainbow Dash: Where's the sixth? The book said, "When the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed." Applejack: What in the hay is that s'pposed t'mean? Twilight: I'm not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen. Applejack: Come on now, y'all. She needs to concentrate. (wind bl*wing, Elements scraping ground) (Twilight shrieks) All: Twilight! (wind howling) The Elements! (all talking over each other worriedly) Applejack: Twilight! Where are you?! Rarity: Look! Applejack: Come on! (Twilight coughing) (Twilight gasps, Nightmare Moon cackles evilly) (thunder) (Twilight gasps, thunder) (hoof scraping ground) Nightmare Moon: You're kidding. You're kidding, right? (hoof scraping ground, horn humming) (poof) (poof) (Twilight moans) Just one spark. Come on, come on... (wind howling) (Twilight yelps, thuds) (Elements humming) Nightmare Moon: No! NO! Twilight: (gasps) But, where's the sixth Element?! (Nightmare Moon laughs, slams ground) (shards clatter to ground) You little FOAL, thinking you could defeat ME?! Now you will never see your princess or your sun! The night will last FOREVER! (cackles) (other ponies talking over each other, echoing) (Twilight gasps, "spark" sound) You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony, just like that?! Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony...are right HERE! Nightmare Moon: What?! Twilight: Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of...Honesty. Twilight: Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of...Kindness. Twilight: Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of...Laughter! Twilight: Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift, represents the spirit of...Generosity! Twilight: And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire, represents the spirit of...Loyalty! Twilight: The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us. Nightmare Moon: You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work! But it did. A different KIND of spark. I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all...are my friends. Twilight: You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the...the spark that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth Element. The Element of...MAGIC! (hum rising in pitch) (whoosh) Nightmare Moon: NOOO! NOOO! (Twilight's eyes resonating) Rainbow Dash: (moans) My head... Applejack: Everypony okay? Rarity: Oh, thank goodness! Fluttershy: Why Rarity, it's so lovely. Rarity: I know! I'll never part with it again! Fluttershy: No, your necklace. It looks just like your Cutie Mark. Rarity: (quizzical "oh's") So does yours! (Fluttershy gasps) Pinkie Pie: Look at mine! Look at mine! Rainbow Dash: Awww YEAH! Applejack: Gee, Twilight! I thought you were just spoutin' a lotta hooey, but I reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship. Princess Celestia: Indeed you do. Twilight: (gasps) Princess Celestia! Princess Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it. Twilight: But you told me it was all an old pony tale. Celestia: I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return, and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her, but you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart. Now if only another will, as well. Princess Luna. (Luna gasps) It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little sister. All: Sister? Will you accept my friendship? Pinkie Pie: Whoa! Luna: I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister! Celestia: I've missed you too. (Pinkie Pie blows nose, sobs) Hey! You know what this calls for?! A PARTY! Celestia: Why so glum, my faithful student? Are you not happy that your quest is complete and you can return to your studies in Canterlot? Twilight: That's just it. Just when I learned how wonderful it is to have friends, I have to leave them. Celestia: Spike, take a note, please. "I, Princess Celestia, that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the magic of friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home in Ponyville." (ponies cheering) Twilight: Oh, thank you, Princess Celestia! I'll study harder than ever before! (all cheer) Pinkie Pie: (rapidly) Isn't this exciting? Are you excited, 'cause I'm excited, I've never been so excited, well, except for the time I went (gasps) but I mean really- (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x02 - Friendship Is Magic"}	foreverdreaming
Pinkie Pie: Hoof-biting action overload! She was like a sun superstar, flying higher and higher, and then Rainbow Dash swooshed down-SWOOSH! and right before she ht the ground, SHOOM! she pulled up! (imitates motor revving) Twilight: (distracted) Uh-huh. And then she looped around and around like "whoom, whoom, whoom, whoom, whoom, whoom, WHOOM!" (Pinkie Pie crashes into ground) Twilight: (distracted) Uh-huh. (Rainbow Dash whooshing overhead) (Twilight sighs with relief and flips page) Pinkie Pie: Hey, Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash: (groans, under breath) Pinkie Pie? Not again... Rainbow Dash! Not now, Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie: But-but, Rainbow Dash- Rainbow Dash: I'm in the middle of something! Pinkie Pie: But- Rainbow Dash: I said, not now! (crash, grunt) (sliding down cliff) Pinkie Pie: I was gonna tell you to look out for that mountain! (Rainbow Dash grumbles) (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know you're all my very best friends (Pinkie Pie humming tunelessly) Pinkie Pie: (sweetly) Hi! I'm looking for Rainbow Dash, have you seen her? Pinkie Pie: Hi there! Have you seen Rainbow Dash? Okay, thanks anyway. Pinkie Pie: Twilight! Have you seen Rainbow Dash anywhere? Twilight: ...Isn't she right up there? Pinkie Pie: (singsong) Rainbow DA~SH! (Rainbow Dash grunts frantically) (whoosh) (whoosh) Rainbow Dash: (out of breath) Phew...that was close... Pinkie Pie: Hi! (Rainbow Dash screams, whooshes off) (whoosh) (panting) (whoosh) (whoosh, whoosh, whoosh) (water splashing lightly) Pinkie Pie: (spits) I need a favor, Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash: (screams, winds up) ...Aw, forget it. (thud) I tooootally promise it'll be tooootally fun! (sighs, resigned) Okay... Over to the right. Nono, a liiittle to the left. Oh wait, back to the right. Now, a liiiittle left-ish while staying rightly. Stop! Hmm...Maybe a few inches to the south! And now a couple centimeters north! Pinkie Pie: Okay. One more smidgimeter to the- Rainbow Dash: (exasperated) PINKIE PIIIIE! Pinkie Pie: Uh, I mean, perfect! Now, wait for my signal. (Spike humming My Little Pony theme) (thunder, Spike screams) (hiccup) (hiccup) (Spike hiccuping, Pinkie Pie snickering) Pinkie Pie: (laughing) Oh Rainbow Dash, we startled Spike into getting the hiccups! (Rainbow Dash chuckles) Spike: (laughing) Good one, Pinkie (hiccup) Pie! (hiccup) You're always pullin' a fast one (hiccup) on me! (hiccups fre, yelps) Pinkie Pie: (worried) Oh no, you're not hurt, are you? Spike: No- (hiccup) don't be (hiccup) silly, dragons are (hiccup) fireproof. (pop) Oh, okay. Good. (Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash laugh uproariously) Spike: (hiccups fre) I wish the same thing (hiccup) were true of scrolls... (Princess Celestia gasps, scrolls clatter) (Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash laugh) (Spike hiccups fre repeatedly) Have you ever SEEN anything more HILARIOUS?! I can think of ONE thing... (thunder, Pinkie Pie shrieks) (laughter punctuated by hiccups) I didn't take you for a prankster, Pinkie Pie! Are you (exaggerated hiccup) kidding?! (exaggerated hiccup) I LOVE to pull pranks! It's all (exaggerated hiccup) in good fun, and Pinkie Pie lo- (hiccup) -oooves to have (hiccup) fun! (hiccup) You know, Pinkie Pie, you're not as annoying as I thought! (Pinkie Pie hiccup-snorts) You wanna hang out?! (Pinkie Pie hiccups) That'd be- (hiccup, whoosh) I'd really (hiccup) When do (hiccup, whoosh) I mean (hiccup) Why would you (horn honks) Rainbow Dash: A simple nod will do. Pinkie Pie: (muffled) Mm-hmm. Rainbow Dash: (whispering) Is she even home? Pinkie Pie: (whispering) I don't know, but I think she called. (both snicker) Rainbow Dash: There she is! Rarity: Ooh! (Rarity sniffs, whimpers lightly, sneezes repeatedly) (Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash laugh) (Pinkie Pie sneezes into distance) (liquid pours, bubbles) Twilight: Huh?! (bubbling intensifies) (explsin) (Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash laughing uproariously) (Applejack gasps) Applejack: Land sakes! (Rainbow Dash snickers) (both laugh) (apples impact, splash) (Applejack chuckles) (squeak) (pump squeaks in Pinkie Pie's mouth) Pinkie Pie: (muffled) Ish shomeone over dere? Who we gonna squirt?! Who we gonna squirt?! Rainbow Dash: (snickers) Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie: (muffled) WHAT?! (spits) Nononononono. (insistent) We CAN'T prank Fluttershy, I mean, she's SO sensitive, it'll hurt her feelings, even our most harmless prank! Rainbow Dash: Yeah...you're right. Huh... We need another victim who's made of tougher stuff. So, who's it gonna be? Pinkie Pie: Oh! (giggles) I've got SOMEone in mind! (giggles) The TOUGHEST around! Awesome! Who?! Who?! Do I know them? Pinkie Pie: (giggles) Oh, yes! (giggles) You're VERY close! Rainbow Dash: (chuckles) Good one, Pinkie Pie! (Rainbow Dash chuckles) (both laugh) (toy wobbles) (Pinkie Pie blows party blower repeatedly) Rise and shine, Rainbow Dash! It's a brand new day, and we've got a LOT of pranking to- Ooh... Rainbow Dash: Mornin', Pink! (whoosh) Gilda, this is my gal pal, Pinkie Pie. (metal riff) Gilda: (disinterested) Hey. What's up? Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, this is my griffon friend, Gilda. Pinkie Pie: What's a griffon? (metal bass line playing) Rainbow Dash: She's half-eagle, half-lion- Gilda: And ALL awesome. (metal bass line) (Gilda and Rainbow Dash chuckling) Rainbow Dash: Gilda's my best friend from my days at Junior Speedster flight camp. Hey! Remember the chant?! (derisively) Oh yeah, they made us recite it every morning. I'll never get that lame thing out of my head. Rainbow Dash: Soooooo? Gilda: (groan, monotone) Only for you, Dash. Rainbow Dash: (spirited chanting) Junior Speedsters are our lives Gilda: (bored chanting) Junior Speedsters are our lives Rainbow Dash: (spirited) Sky-bound soars and daring dives Gilda: (bored) Sky-bound soars and daring dives Rainbow Dash: (spirited) Junior Speedsters, it's our quest Gilda: (bored) Junior Speedsters, it's our quest Rainbow Dash: (spirited) To someday be the very best Gilda: (bored) To someday be the very best (Pinkie Pie laughing and slapping hoof on ground) Pinkie Pie: Oh, that was awesome, and it gave me a great idea for a prank! (grunts) Gilda, you game? Huh. Well, I groove on a good prank as much as the next griffon, but Dash, you promised me we'd get a flying session in this morning. Yeah...uh...well, Pinkie Pie, you don't mind, do you? Rainbow Dash: Gilda just got here. We'll catch up with you later! Pinkie Pie: Oh...um...sure, no problem! Have fun, you guys! So I'll...just catch up with you... (sighs dejectedly) later... (party blower blwing sad descending note) (wind blwing) (jets whoosh by) (wind howling, Gilda streaks past) (approaching jet, soft thud) (both laughing) Gilda: Whoa! That was sweet! Just like old times. Rainbow Dash: Yeah, only faster! (brohoof) So, now what? Pinkie Pie: Hey there! Both: Huh? Pinkie Pie: It's later! Pinkie Pie: And I caught up! (Pinkie Pie bouncing on trampoline) (Pinkie Pie bouncing) Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie, you are so random! (Pinkie Pie bouncing) Gilda: Hey Dash, think you got enough gas left to bat me to that cloud?! (Pinkie Pie bouncing) Rainbow Dash: A race?! You are so on! Gilda: One, two, three, GO! (whoosh) Pinkie Pie: Hey...! Rainbow Dash: I win! Gilda: As IF. I won, dude! Rainbow Dash: No way! Gilda: Yes way! Rainbow Dash: Oh come on, I was way ahead of you! Gilda: Uh, I don't think so. Rainbow Dash: Oh please, dream on. There is NO way you bat me. Gilda: Remember back in camp? I- Pinkie Pie: Wow, guys, that was really cool! But I think Rainbow Dash bat you by a teeny-weeny, itty-bitty little hair, or a teeny-weeny, itty-bitty feather! Rainbow Dash: Hah, see?! Good thing Pinkie Pie's here to keep you honest, G! Gilda: (irritated) Okay, Dash, last one to that cloud up there is a gnarly dragon egg. GO! (whoosh) (metal bass line) Gilda: (hostile) I think the high altitude is making you dizzy. (popping balloons) Pinkie Pie: Wait! Guys- (whoosh) (whoosh) (bizarre contraption noises) Pinkie Pie: Oh, wow, you guys almost got away from me that time! (bizarre contraption noises) (bizarre contraption noises) Gilda: So, Dash, got any new moves in your tricktionary, (bizarre contraption noises) or are you % old school? (bizarre contraption noises) Rainbow Dash: New moves?! Hah! Sit back, G, this is gonna take a while. (metal bass line) Gilda: Hey Pinkie, c'mere. Pinkie Pie: Yeah? (metal bass line) Gilda: (thrat) Don't you know how to take GET LOST for an answer?! (metal bass line) (intimidating) Dash doesn't need to hang with a dweeb like YOU while I'M around. (metal bass line) (mocking) You're dorkin' up the skies, Stinky Pie, (metal bass line) (thrat) so make like a bee and BUZZ OFF! (metal bass line) (Pinkie Pie screaming and spinning) (metal bass line) Rainbow Dash: Try matching THAT! ...Hey, where's Pinkie Pie and her crazy contraption? Gilda: Eh, she left. Something about being... (sardonic) ...as busy as a bee. (contraption noises winding down, distorted) (Pinkie Pie "hmphs") Twilight: So, Pinkie Pie, are you sure that this friend of Rainbow Dash is really so mean? Pinkie Pie: Um, YEAH! She keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, she popped my balloons, and she told me to buzz off! I've never met a griffon this mean! Well, actually, I've never met a griffon at all, but I bet if I had, she wouldn't have been as mean and grumpy as GILDA. Twilight: You know what I think, Pinkie Pie? Pinkie Pie: Hmm? Twilight: (hesitantly) Well, I think...you're jealous. Pinkie Pie: (incredulous) JEALOUS?! Spike: Green with envy. Well, in your case, pink with envy. Twilight: Well, yes. Jealous. Listen, Pinkie, I don't wanna upset you, but just because Rainbow Dash has another friend doesn't make Gilda a grump. I mean, perhaps it's YOU, Pinkie, who needs to improve her attitude. Pinkie Pie: Improve MY attitude?! But I... (stammering) Gilda's a... (stammering) are you seri- (screams) (door slams, Twilight sighs) Maybe Twilight is right... Maybe Gilda isn't a big meany grumpy mean-meany-pants. Maybe I'm just a big jealous judgmental jealous-jealousy-pants. (sighs dejectedly) (slurping) Gilda: (whoosh, laughs) That was sweet! (Pinkie's hooves clatter on table) Rainbow Dash: Uh, I gotta take care of a few weather jobs around here. Shouldn't take long. Just, uh, hang out in town and I'll come find ya. Gilda: That's cool, I guess. (macho) I'm gonna go chow down! Rainbow Dash: Later! (screams, shouts feebly) A RATTLER! A RATTLER! RUN FOR THE HILLS! EVERYBODY FORSAKE YOURSELVES! (slow, discordant banjo strumming) This stuff ain't fresh, dude. (discordant banjo strumming) Pinkie Pie: Aw, poor Granny Smith! She didn't know it was a joke! How mean! ...No, no, I can't misjudge her. (unsure) It was kind of a funny prank...I guess... (chomps) (gasps) I DID misjudge her! She's not only a meany mean-pants, she's also a thief! ...Nononono...she might give it back! It's just a joke! Fluttershy: All right, little ones, this way, this way. Mama duck is free and clear. Gilda: HEY. Fluttershy: Please excuse me. Gilda: (forcefully) I'm WALKIN' here. Fluttershy: (meekly) Oh, um, I'm sorry... Fluttershy: I-I was just trying to- Gilda: (mocking in a whiny voice) I'm sorry! I'm sorry! (nastily) Why don't you just watch where you're GOING, DOOFUS?! Fluttershy: (stammering) B-b-b-but I... (inhales, roars like a lion) (Fluttershy sobs) (derisively) Ugh, please. All these lame ponies are driving me buggy. I gotta bail. (whoosh) She's a grump AND a thief AND a bully! The meanest kind of mean meany-pants there is! I can take it, but NO ONE treats Fluttershy like that! NO. ONE. This calls for EXTREME measures! Pinkie Pie style! (perky) Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! Applejack: Who's this "Gilda" I've heard nothin' about? Rarity: I hear she's an old friend of Rainbow Dash. A griffon! So rare. Twilight: You've met Gilda, right? What's she like? Fluttershy: Oh! Um, well...I'll tell you later, Twilight. Pinkie Pie: Welcome! Welcome! Fluttershy: Um, Pinkie Pie, about this party for Gilda, Um, do you really think it's a good idea? I mean- Pinkie Pie: Don't worry your pretty little head about mean old Gilda! Your Auntie Pinkie Pie has got it aaall taken care of! Fluttershy: I'm a year older than you. Pinkie Pie: GILDA! I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie Parties! And I really, truly, sincerely hope you feel welcome here amongst all us ponyfolk! (joy buzzer shocks Gilda) (Gilda crashes to ground) (ponies laughing) (Pinkie Pie giggling) Rainbow Dash: Oh, Pinkie Pie. The ol' hoof-shake buzzer! You are a SCREAM! Gilda: (chuckles nervously) Yeah, uh, good one, Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash: C'mon G, I'll introduce you to some of my other friends. Gilda: Right behind you, Dash! (menacingly, under breath) I know what you're up to. Pinkie Pie: (unfazed) Great! Gilda: Grrr...I know what you're planning! Pinkie Pie: (giggles, snorts) Well, I HOPE so! This wasn't supposed to be a SURPRISE party! Gilda: I mean, I've got my eye on you. Pinkie Pie: And I'VE got my eye on YOU! Everyone, I'd like you all to meet Gilda, a long-time dear friend of Rainbow Dash. Let's honor her and welcome her to Ponyville! (ponies cheer) Pinkie Pie: Please help yourself! Gilda: Vanilla lemon drops! Don't mind if I do. (gulps) Gilda: (breathes fre, pants) HOOOOT! Rainbow Dash: G, the punch! (siren blaring) (Gilda gasping, gulping) Huh?! Pinkie Pie: Well, whaddya know?! Pepper in the vanilla lemon drops, and the punch served in a dribble glass! Rainbow Dash: Ha! Priceless, priceless! (laughing) (Gilda gulps water, pants) (sarcastic) Yeah. Hilarious. Rainbow Dash: Hey G, look! Presents! (pop, ponies laugh) Applejack: Spittin' snakes! Heh, somepony pulled that prank on me last month! (sardonic) Ha ha. I bet I know who THAT was. Pinkie Pie: (quizzically) You do? (ponies chatter) Pinkie Pie: Cake time, everypony! Spike: Hey! Can I blow out the candles? Twilight: Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike? She IS the guest of honor, after all. (Spike yelps, crashes into wall) Gilda: EXACTLY. (inhales sharply, blows) (inhales sharply, blows) (ponies laughing) (ponies laughing) (Gilda blows repeatedly) Spike: Relighting birthday candles! I LOVE that prank! What a classic! Pinkie Pie: Now, I wonder who could've done that? (metal bass line) Gilda: (sardonic) Yeah. I wonder. Spike: (splats into cake) Mm! Who cares, this cake is AMAZING! Twilight: Spike! Spike: (mouth full) What? It'sh great! Try shome! Rainbow Dash: Hey G, you're not upset about some silly candles, are you? Gilda: (false bravado) No way, Dash! Like I said, I'm down with a good prank. Rainbow Dash: Come on, then! Let's have some cake. (Pinkie Pie chomps, whimpers in confusion) (metal bass line) Gilda: (thr*at) Hey. I'm watching you. Like a hawk. Pinkie Pie: (sweetly) Why? Can't you watch me like a griffon? Applejack: Hey y'all! It's Pin the Tail on the Pony! Let's play! Rarity: Oh, my FAVORITE game! Can I go first?! Can I have the purple tail? Gilda: (self-importantly) Well, I'M the guest of honor! And I'LL have the purple tail! Pinkie Pie: Yeah! Gilda should definitely go first! Let's get you blindfolded. Gilda: Hey-what-what're you doing?! Augh! (Gilda spinning) Pinkie Pie: We're gonna spin you around and around, and then you pin the tail on the pony! Pinkie Pie: Now, just walk straight ahead and pin the tail! Gilda: (mocking) Now, just walk straight ahead and pin the tail! (sarcastic) Yeah, right. This is another prank, isn't it? Gilda: I'M goin' this way. Pinkie Pie: W-Wait...the poster is this w- (Gilda screaming repeatedly, crashes) Pinkie Pie: Uh, Gilda? You pinned the tail on the wrong end! (ponies laugh) (lion roar) Gilda: (maliciously) THIS is your idea of a good time?! I've NEVER met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life! And Pinkie Pie... YOU are Queen Lame-o with your weak little party pranks, Do you REALLY think you can make me lose my cool?! Well, Dash and I have ten TIMES as much cool as the REST of you put together! Come on, Dash, we're bailing on this PATHETIC scene. ...Come ON, Rainbow Dash! I SAID, WE'RE LEAVING! Rainbow Dash: ...Y'know, Gilda? I was the one who set up all those "weak" pranks at this party. Gilda: (shocked) ...W-what?! Pinkie Pie: Ooh. Rainbow Dash: So I guess I'M Queen Lame-o. Gilda: (nervously) Come on, Dash! You're joshin' me! Rainbow Dash: They weren't all meant for you specifically. It was just dumb luck that you set them all off! Pinkie Pie: I shoulda known! That dribble cup had "Rainbow Dash" written all over it! Gilda: (indignant) No. Way. It was Pinkie Pie! She set up this party to trip me up, to make a fool of me! Pinkie Pie: Me?! I threw this party to improve your attitude! I thought a good party might turn that frown upside-down! Rainbow Dash: And you sure didn't need any help making a fool of yourself! You know, this is not how I thought my OLD friends would treat my NEW friends! If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should go find some new COOL friend someplace else. (Gilda growls) Gilda: (stumbling over words) Yeah?! Well...you....you... YOU are such a...a FLIP-FLOP! Cool one minute and lame the next. When YOU decide not to be lame anymore, gimme a call. (door slams) Rainbow Dash: Not. Cool. Spike: Wow. Talk about a party pooper. (ponies chatter about Gilda) Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry, everypony, for bringing Gilda here. I didn't know how rude she was. And Pinkie Pie, I'm really sorry she ruined that awesome party you put on for her. Pinkie Pie: Hey, if you wanna hang out with party poopers, that's your business. Rainbow Dash: I'd rather hang out with you. Rainbow Dash: No hard feelings? Pinkie Pie: No hard feelings. (joy buzzers shock both) (ponies laugh) Twilight: Hey, Pinkie. Sorry I accused you of misjudging Gilda. Looks like I'm the one who misjudged you. Pinkie Pie: It's okay, Twilight! Even you can't be a super smart smarty smart-pants all the time! Come on everypony, there's still a whole lotta party to finish! (ponies cheer) Twilight: (voice-over) "Dearest Princess Celestia, Today I learned that it's hard to accept when somepony you like wants to spend time with somepony who's not so nice. Though it's impossible to control who your friends hang out with, it is possible to control your own behavior. Just continue to be a good friend. In the end, the difference between a false friend and one who's true will surely come to light. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle." Princess Celestia: (voice-over) "Dear Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student..." (aloud) Oh! (giggles) Wrong ink! (sighs, laughs) (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x05 - Griffon the Brush-Off"}	foreverdreaming
Spike: Come on Twilight, you can do it! Twilight: Okay, here goes. (poof) Spike: Ha-HA! You did it! Spike: Ha-HA! You did it! Growing magic. That's number ! Twenty-five different types of tricks and counting. (pleased) And I think this is the best trick so far. (suave) Hello, Rarity. What's that? Aw, it's nothin', just my AWESOME moustache! (chuckles) Twilight: Sorry, Romeo. As attractive and enticing as you look, it's just for practice and it's gotta go. Spike: Wait! (poof, crestfallen) Aw, rats... (Twilight giggles) (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends Spike: Twenty-five, Twilight! Twenty-five different kinds of tricks and counting. I thought unicorns were only supposed to have a little magic that matches their special talent. Twilight: True, for ponies whose talents are for things like cooking or singing or math, but what if a unicorn's special talent IS magic? Spike: Like you, Twilight! And you know a TON of magic. Twilight: (embarrassed) Oh, Spike, stop. I'm sure there are lots of ponies right here in Ponyville that know just as much magic as me... Spike: Are you kiddin'?! I don't think there's another unicorn in all of Equestria with your kind of ability, Twilight. Snails: (heavy Canadian accent) Gaaaangway! Comin' through! (Spike grunts) Spike: Snips...Snails...w-what's going on?! Snails: Why, haven't you heard? (Spike yelps, crashes) There's a new unicorn in town! Snips: (hyperventilating) Yeah! They say she's got more magical powers than any other unicorn EVER! Twilight: Really? Spike: Aw, no way. That honor goes to Twilight here! Twilight: Where is this unicorn? Trixie: (amplified) Come one! Come all! (trilling r's) Come and witness the amazing magic of the Grrreat and Powerrrful Trrrrixie! (ponies ooh and ahh) (theatrical) Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of pony magic ever witnessed by pony eyes! (pyrotechnics burst, fanfare plays) Rarity: (unimpressed) My, my, my! What boasting! Spike: Come on, no pony's as magical as Twili- (flustered) Twi- Twi- O-oh! (clears throat) (bashful) Hey, Rarity, I, uh... MOUSTACHE! Twilight: There's nothing wrong with being talented, is there? Applejack: Nothin' at all, 'ceptin' when someone goes around showin' it off like a school filly with fancy new ribbons. Rarity: Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us. Rainbow Dash: Especially when ya got me around bein' better than the rest of us. (chuckles) Uh, I mean, (unconvincing) yeah, uh, magic-shmagic! Boo! Trixie: Well, well, well. It looks like we have some (neighing) neigh [nay] sayers in the audience! Who is so IGNORANT as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie?! Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?! Rarity: (raspberry) Just WHO does she think she is? Spike: Yeah! Since we all know that Twilight here is- Twilight: (whispering) Spike! Shh! Spike: What? What's wrong? Twilight: Did you see how they reacted to Trixie? I don't want anyone thinking I'M a showoff! (drumroll, fanfare, pyrotechnics) Rainbow Dash: So, "Great and Powerful Trixie," what makes you think you're so awesome, anyway? Trixie: (self-amused chuckle) Why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to VANQUISH! THE DREADED! URSA MAJOR! (fanfare, pyrotechnics) (audience ahhs) Snips: What?! Snails: No way! Trixie: When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington [Huffington] had no one to turn to, (robotic growling) but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, (mechanical growling) and with her awesome magic (static fizzle) vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest! Snips: Aw, sweet! Snails: Sa-weet! Snips: That settles it. Snails: Trixie really is the most talented, most magical, most awesome unicorn in Ponyville. Snips: No! In all of Equestria! Spike: How d'you know?! You didn't see it! And besides, Twi- (zip) Mmf! Mmf! (haughty chuckle) (stroking ego) It's true, my enthusiastic little admirer. Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville! (crickets chirping) Well then, I hereby challenge you, (derisively) Ponyvillians:(boastful) Anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine that has EVER LIVED?! (fanfare, pyrotechnics) Spike: (unzips mouth, pleads) Ple-e-ease! She's unbearable! You gotta show her! You just gotta! (sobs) Twilight: (whispering) There's no way I'm gonna use my magic now, Spike! Especially since- Trixie: Hmm...how about...YOU! (Twilight gulps nervously) Trixie: Well, how about it? Hmm? (condescending) Is there anything YOU can do that the Great and Powerful Trixie can't?! Twilight: (meekly) I...I... (banjo strumming) Trixie: Well, little hayseed? Applejack: That's it! I can't stand for no more o'this! Spike: You show her, AJ! Applejack: Can your magical powers do...THIS?! (spirited country music, rope twirling) (ponies ooh) (spirited country music, rope twirling) (spirited country music) (chomps, gulps, music ends) (ponies cheer raucously) Applejack: Top THAT, missy. Trixie: (unfazed) Oh ye of little talent. Watch and be amazed at the magic of Trixie! (Arabian music) Applejack: Whoa! (grunts, crashes into ground) (Arabian music) (ponies cheer) Trixie: Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie prevails. Rainbow Dash: There's no need to go struttin' around and showin' off like that! Trixie: Oh? Rainbow Dash: That's MY job! (rock music) (windmill grinds) (rock music) (repeated thumps) (rock music) (rock music) (rising pitch whoosh) (rock music) (whoosh, whoosh, whoosh) (rock music) (rising pitch whoosh) (rock music) (windmill grinds) (rock music) (whoosh, brakes squeal) (rock music) (rock music ends) They don't call me "Rainbow" and "Dash" for nothin'! (ponies cheer) Trixie: When Trixie is through, the only thing they'll call you is loser. (magical humming) (Rainbow Dash screaming) (sped up calliope music) (sped up calliope music) Rainbow Dash: (weakly) I think I'm gonna be...sick... Trixie: Seems like any pony with a [Rainbow] "dash" of good sense would think twice before tussling with the Great Trixie! (thunder, Rainbow Dash shrieks) (ponies laugh, Trixie laughs haughtily) Spike: What we need is another unicorn to challenge her! (hinting) Someone with some magic of her own? Rainbow Dash: Yeah! A unicorn to show THIS unicorn who's boss! Applejack: A real unicorn-to-unicorn tussle! Twilight: Uh... Rarity: Enough. Enough, all of you. I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty and grace. Trixie: (mocking) Ooh, what's the matter? (provoking) Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane? Rarity: Oh. It. Is. ON. You may think you're tough with all of your so-called "powers," but there's more to magic than your brutish ways. A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle. A unicorn needs to have style. (classical music) (classical music) A unicorn is not a unicorn without grace and beauty. (classical music, audience oohs) (magical humming) (classical music) Spike: Rarity won't let Trixie get the best of her! (classical music) She's strong, she's beautiful, she's- (poof) (classical music) (ponies gasp and recoil) Rarity: (panicked) QUICK! I NEED A MIRROR! GET ME A MIRROR! (squealing) What did she do to my hair?! I know she did something terrible to my hair! Twilight: (nervously) N-nothing! Rainbow Dash: (hastily) It's fine! Applejack: (dazed) It's gorgeous! Spike: (tactless) It's green. What? Rarity: (tearing up) No! Green hair! Not green hair! (sobs theatrically) That's an awful, AWFUL color! (sobs) Pony: Well, I never! [supposed to be a green-haired female Carrot Top] Spike: Well, Twilight, I guess it's up to you. Come on, show her what you're made of! Twilight: (deflecting) What do you mean? I-I'm nothing special... Spike: Yes you ARE! You're better than her! Twilight: I'm not better than anyone! Trixie: Hah! You think you're better than the Great and Powerful Trixie? You think you have MORE magical talent? (provoking) Well, come on. Show Trixie what you've got. Show us all. Twilight: Who, me? I'm just your run-of-the-mill citizen of Ponyville! No powerful magic here. I, uh, think I hear my laundry calling. Sorry! Spike: Twilight? Trixie: Ha! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria! (under breath) Was there ever any doubt? Snips: Here's the smoothie you asked for! With extra hay! Just how you like it. Snails: (slow, dull speech) Mm, hay. (slurping) Trixie: (annoyed) Yes? Snips: Oh! Tell us another story, Great and Powerful Trixie! Snails: Yeah, tell us about how you vanquished the Ursa Major! Trixie: (derisively) Hmph! TRIXIE is far too exhausted from performing feats beyond imagination. BEGONE with you until morning. Snails: Oh, of course, Great and Powerful Trixie! Snips: Anything you say! We are at your beck and call! (sighs haughtily) Spike: What're YOU two doin'? Snips: Just bringin' the G. and P. T. a- Spike: ...The what? Snips: The Great and Powerful Trixie! Spike: Sheesh. Snips: Just bringin' her a smoothie! Spike: How can you fall for her lameness?! She's just a showoff. Spike: Unlike Twilight, who- Snips: The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquished an Ursa Major. Can your "Twilight" claim that? Spike: Oh, really? Were you guys actually there? Snips: Well, eh...uh...no, but- Spike: But nothin'. The proof is in the pudding! Snails: (slow-witted laughter) I like pudding. Spike: ...Look, unless an Ursa Major comes waltzing up the street for Trixie to vanquish, I am NOT gonna believe a word she says! And neither should you! Snips: Hmm! An Ursa walkin' up the street, eh? (a la Brain [Pinky and the Brain]) Snails, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Snails: (a la Pinky) Why is it they call it a flea market when they don't really sell fleas? Snips: Yeah! Uh... (doubletakes) Oh, uh...come on! Spike: Twilight, would you put down that book and just listen to me? Twilight: Didn't you see how they hated Trixie's bragging, Spike? If I go out there and show off my magic, I run the risk of losing them as friends. Spike: It's not the same thing, Twilight! You'd be using your magic to stand up for your friends! Twilight: No, Spike! It's exactly the same! Spike: Come on, Twilight. Any one of these tricks, even the teeniest, would be enough to show up Trixie. Twilight: I don't wanna be seen as a bragger like Trixie! (door slams shut) Spike: (opens door) But you're the BEST! Twilight: (exasperated sigh) Please, Spike! I said, "No!" Spike: (sighs) If that's the way you wanna be, fine. (slams door) (door opens) (spooky theremin music) (owl hoots) (spooky theremin music) (spooky theremin music) Snips: (apprehensively) Oh, how we gonna find an Ursa Major when I can't even see my own hoof in front of my face?! Snails: Hold on! (grunts fiercely) Snips: Oh! Heh, that's better. Snips: Oh! Heh, that's better. Snips: Oh! Heh, that's better. Snips: Oh! Heh, that's better. Snips: Oh! Heh, that's better. (low growl) (growling) (Snails screams) (Snails and Snips scream) (Snails and Snips scream, Ursa roars) (Spike kicking rock) (melancholy harp music) (Snips screaming) Spike: Hey, guys. (Snails panting) Where ya goin'? Snips: Can't talk now! Snails: Got a "MAJOR" problem! Snips: Yeah! URSA Major, to be exact! (roar) Spike: ...Huh? (paw impacts ground) (roar) Snips and Snails: TRIXIIIIE! Spike: Twilight! (loud thuds, trees falling) (Snips and Snails banging on door and clamoring for Trixie) Trixie: (annoyed) Trixie thought she said the Great and Powerful Trixie did not want to be disturbed! Snips: (nervous laughter) We-We have a...a tiny problem... Snails: (flatly) Actually, it's a big one. Trixie: WHAT is so important that you cannot wait until morning to disturb Trixie?! (distant roar, thud) (repeated thuds) (fierce roar) (Trixie screams) (Snips and Snails scream) (Ursa snarls, crushes cart) (roar) Spike: (frantic) Twilight! You've gotta come! Quick! Twilight: I've already told you, Spike! I don't wanna show up Trixie! Spike: No! You don't understand! It's- (roar, thud) Twilight: (nervously) ...Uh, is that what I think it is? Spike: [Ursa] Majorly... Snips: Great and Powerful Trixie! You've got to vanquish the Ursa! Snails: (oblivious) Yeah! Vanquish so we can watch! Snips: It took a LOT of trouble to get that thing here! Trixie: Wait! YOU brought this here?! (gasps) Are you out of your little pony MINDS?! Snips: But...you're the Great and Powerful Trixie! Snails: Yeah, remember? You defeated an Ursa Major! (Ursa roars) Trixie: (nervously) U-uh, okay... (gulps) Stand back... (Arabian music) (uncertain) Heh! Piece o'cake! (snap) Snips: Aw, c'mon, Trixie! Snails: (very Canadian) Stop goofin' around and vanquish it, eh? (Trixie gasps, gulps) (ominous music) (thunder) Snails: (flatly) Well. That was a dud. Snips: Yeah, c'mon! Where's all the cool explsin and smoke and stuff like earlier?! You know! (Ursa winces) (Ursa growls) Trixie: (meekly) Uh-oh. (roar) (ponies screaming) (Ursa roars) (Ursa roars, ponies gasp fearfully) (roar, crash) (ponies panicking) Twilight: What's going on?! Snips: (proudly) We brought an Ursa to town! Twilight: You WHAT?! Snails: Don't worry! The Great and Powerful Trixie'll vanquish it! Trixie: (defeated) I can't. Snips and Snails: What?! Trixie: Uh, I can't. I never have. No one can vanquish an Ursa Major. I just made the whole story up to make me look better! Snips and Snails: Made it up?! (guttural growl) (roar) (ponies gasp) (Twilight gulps) (Ursa growls, paws impact ground) (Twilight groans, wind blows) (lullaby-style music from cattails) (Ursa growls, subsides) (lullaby-style music from cattails) (lullaby-style music from cattails) Spike: Nice use of Number ! (rising volume magical chiming) (metal creaking) (water flowing) (magical chiming) (cows mooing in contented surprise) Deeper-voiced cow: Call me, don'tcha know? Spike: ...That's new. (metallic clank) (Ursa growling sleepily) (Twilight grunting heavily) (Ursa slurping) (Ursa sucking noisily) (loud magical humming) (sucking) (sucking) (Twilight grunts exhaustedly) (ponies cheering) Spike: Unbelievable! That was amazing! Applejack: Heavens to Betsy! We knew you had ability, but not THAT much! Twilight: I'm sorry! Please, please don't hate me! Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity: Hate you?! Rarity: Why, whatever do you mean, darling? Twilight: Well, I know how much you all hated Trixie showing off with her magic tricks, and I just thought- Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa. MAGIC'S got nothin' to do with it! Rainbow Dash: Trixie's just a loudmouth. Rarity: MOST unpleasant. Applejack: All hat and no cattle. Twilight: So...you don't mind my magic tricks? Applejack: Your magic is a part o'who you are, sugarcube, and we like who you are. We're proud to have such a powerful, talented unicorn as our friend. Rainbow Dash: And after whuppin' that Ursa's hindquarters, we're even prouder! Twilight: You are?! Rainbow Dash: Uh-huh! Applejack and Rarity: Mm-hmm! Spike: Wow, Twilight! How'd you know what to do with that Ursa Major?! Twilight: That's what I was doing when you came looking for me! I was so intrigued by Trixie's bragging that I was compelled to do a little reading up on them. Spike: So, it IS possible to vanquish an Ursa Major all by yourself? Twilight: That wasn't an Ursa Major. That was a baby. An Ursa MINOR. Trixie: THAT was just a baby?! Twilight: And it wasn't rampaging. It was just cranky because SOMEone woke it up. (Snips and Snails groan bashfully) Spike: Well...if that was an Ursa Minor, then... (fearfully) what's an Ursa MAJOR like?! (Ursa Minor growls contentedly) Twilight: ...You don't wanna know. Trixie: (haughtily) Hah! You may have vanquished an Ursa MINOR, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie! (poof, hooves clop into distance) Rainbow Dash: Why, that little...! Twilight: Just let her go. Maybe someday she'll learn her lesson. Now...About you two. Snips: Uh, (nervous chuckle) we're sorry that we woke up the Ursa Minor... Snails: We just wanted to see some AWESOME MAGIC! Snips: Yeah! And the way you vanquished that Ursa Minor was...AWESOME! Snails: We deserve whatever punishment you give us. Twilight: For starters, you can clean up this mess. And... What do you think, Spike? Should I give them... (ominously) Number ? Spike: Ohhh, Twenty-five, yes! And I think I deserve it, too. Snips and Snails: Huh?! Twilight: I think you're right. (humming) (three pops) Snips, Snails, Spike: Sweeeet! Twilight: (voice-over) "Dear Princess Celestia, I have learned a very valuable lesson about friendship. I was so afraid of being thought of as a show-off that I was hiding a part of who I am. My friends helped me realize that it's okay to be proud of your talents, and there are times when it's appropriate to show them off... especially when you're standing up for your friends." Spike: So, you finally admit that you're the most talented unicorn in all of Ponyville? Twilight: Well...yeah. But it's nothing to brag about. But it's nothing to brag about. So, uh, how did it go with Rarity? Spike: (sighs) She didn't go for the moustache. Twilight: You know, Spike, that moustache has nothing to do with who you really are. Maybe you should just try being yourself! Spike: Or...maybe the moustache wasn't enough! Maybe if I had a moustache AND a beard! Twilight: Oh, not THIS again... Spike: Okay, imagine me with a nice, long Fu Manchu type beard. Or maybe a goatee. Or, no... (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x06 - Boast Busters"}	foreverdreaming
(branch rips) (branch reattaches) Rarity: Hmm... Hah! (poof) (poof) Perfect. (branch rips, crashes to ground) Applejack: (spits) Just take the broken limbs down, Rarity. Don'tcha'll care 'bout nothin' more than prettifyin'? Rarity: (defensive) SOMEpony has to! You were making an absolute MESS of the town square, Applejack. Applejack: Yeah, well, the storm's gonna make an even bigger mess if we don't prune all these loose branches so they don't tumble down on anypony. Rarity: I simply CANNOT imagine why the pegasus ponies would schedule a dreadful downpour this evening and ruin what could've been a glorious sunny day. Applejack: (sighs) Think more practical-like, will ya? Applejack: (kicking tree) They accidentally skipped a scheduled sprinkle last week, so we need a doozy of a downpour to make up for it, is all. Rarity: (whining) Oh no! My wonderfully styled mane shall be ruined! Applejack: Ya shoulda hurried up and finished the job, already. Rarity: (yelping frantically) It's coming down too fast! (yelping) Help me! Applejack: Uh...there. Hunker down to your heart's content whilst I finish this. Rarity: (panting) Oh, no, no, no! Applejack: What now? Rarity: I prefer not to get my hooves muddy. Applejack: (scoffs) There is just no pleasin' ya, is there?! Everything's gotta be just so. Rarity: And how does muddying my hooves serve ANY useful purpose? Applejack: Y'all wouldn't know useful if it came up and bit'cha. Rarity: (laughs condescendingly) That doesn't even make any sense. Applejack: Does so. Rarity: Does not. Applejack: Does so. Rarity: Does not. Applejack: Does so. Rarity: Does not. Applejack: Does so INFINITY. Hah. Rarity: Does not infinity plus one. Hah. What say we go our separate ways before one of us says something she will regret? Applejack: I reckon Y'ALL are gonna say something YOU'LL regret first. Rarity: On the contrary. I believe it shall most certainly be you who says something you will regret first. (loud peal of thunder) Rarity: (trembling) Per-perhaps we should stick together for now and find some shelter. (wind whistling) Applejack: (uneasy) Uh-huh, perhaps we should. Sounds fair. (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know you're all my very best friends (distant thunder) Applejack: Nice and dry under here...sorta. Rarity: Oh! Unacceptable. Twilight: (distant shouting) Applejack! Rarity! Twilight: (slightly louder) Applejack! Rarity! Applejack and Rarity: Twilight?! Twilight: Come inside, girls! Quick! Applejack: Whoa, Nelly. Is inside a tree really the best place to be during a lightning storm? Twilight: It is if you have a magical lightning rod protecting your home like I do. Come on in! Rarity: Hah! (graciously) We are most grateful for your invitation. Applejack: Thank ya kindly for your hospitality. Rarity: (patronizing) Uh, DO be a polite houseguest and wash up, please. Won't you? (Applejack grumbles) Applejack: (under breath) If I gotta stand one more second with that fussbudget Rarity today, I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do. Twilight: Some storm, huh? The pegasus ponies sure have outdone themselves this time. I hope you and Applejack don't have any trouble getting home. Rarity: (shifty) It may indeed be a problem... Twilight: Well, you're welcome to stay if need be. Spike is away in Canterlot on royal business. I'm home all alone tonight. (gasps) You and Applejack should TOTALLY sleep over! (clapping hooves) We'll have a slumber party! I've always wanted one of those! Rarity: (blink blink, stalling) Oh! Uh, goodness. Uh, I do believe I have another engagement scheduled for this evening that COMPLETELY slipped my mind until just now. (nervous laugh) Ah, silly me. I couldn't POSSIBLY stay here all night... (under breath) with Applejack. Rarity: (reading) "Slumber : All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties but Were Afraid to Ask." Twilight: (gushing) My OWN personal copy! It's a fantastic reference guide. You should see the Table of Contents! I've been waiting for a chance to use it. And TODAY'S the day! This is gonna be SO GREAT! Rarity: Yes...great... (nervous laughter) (water spraying, Applejack grumbling) Applejack: (gasps) What in tarnation?! (Rarity slaps mud on Twilight's face) Now, wait just a gol-darn minute. Ya make me wash the mud off my hooves, but it's okay for y'all to have mud all over your faces?! Rarity: Silly! This is called a mud MASK. It's to refresh and rejuvenate your complexion. Twilight: (squealing in delight) We're giving each other MAKEOVERS! (high-pitched laughter) We have to do it. It says so in the book. Applejack: (reading) "Slumber : Everything You-" (nervously) Oh, hey, wouldja look at the time! I gotta skedaddle on home quick. I'm powerful late for, uh...somethin'. Uh, g'night! (loud peal of thunder, Applejack yelps) ...Ooor, maybe I'll stay here for a spell. Twilight: (clapping hooves) Hooray, slumber party! (mud slaps face) (squish squish) (Applejack grunts) (Applejack gags) (cucumbers slap onto eyes) What in the world is this for?! Rarity: (exasperated sigh) To reduce the puffiness around one's eyes, of course. Applejack: Puffiness-shmuffiness! (licks off, chomps loudly, swallows) That's good eatin'! (Applejack chewing loudly) Twilight: Teehee! Isn't this exciting?! We'll do everything by the book, (clapping hooves) and that will make my slumber party officially fun! Rarity: (patronizing) Did you hear that, Applejack? YOU certainly would not want to do anything that would ruin Twilight's very first slumber party, WOULD YOU? Applejack: Of course not. 'N you wouldn't either, I reckon. Rarity: So do we have an agreement? Applejack: You betcha. (spits on hoof) Rarity: (disgusted) OH! GROSS! (haughty) You know, there's messy and there's just plain rude. Applejack: Y'know, there's fussy, and there's just plain gettin' on my nerves. Rarity: Fortunately, I can get along with anypony, no matter how difficult SHE may be. Applejack: Oh yeah?! Well...I'm the get-alongin'-est pony yer ever gonna meet! Rarity: (flatly) That's not even a word. Twilight: (gushing) This is gonna be the bestest slumber party ever! YAY! Applejack and Rarity: (unenthusiastic) Yay. (thunder) Rarity: (condescending) So, how are you "getting along" over there, Applejack? Applejack: (snarky) Jus' fine, Rarity. Twilight: This is SO awesome! (giggles) Makeovers, check. (magical poofs) Ooh! It says here we have to tell ghost stories! Who wants to go first?! Applejack: ME! I'd like to tell y'all the terrifyin' tale of the prissy ghost who drove everypony crazy with her unnecessary neatness. (making ghost noises) I'm sure Y'ALL are familiar with that one? Rarity: Never heard of it. But I have a MUCH better one. It's the horrifying story of the messy, (hyperbolic) INCONSIDERATE ghost who irritated everypony within a HUNDRED MILES! (making exaggerated ghost noises) Applejack: That's not a real story. You made it up. Rarity: It is a GHOST story. They're ALL made up. (thunder, ponies scream) Twilight: I've got one! This story is called...the Legend of the Headless Horse. (thunder) It was a dark and stormy night, much like this one, and three ponies were having a slumber party, just...like...this one. (thunder) Twilight: ...and just when the last pony thought she was safe, there, standing right behind her, just inches away was... THE HEADLESS HORSE! (thunder, Applejack and Rarity gasp and scream) Twilight: Ghost story, check. (singsong) Now, who wants s'mores? Rarity: ...then you place one marshmallow on the top of the chocolate and be sure it's centered - that's critical - and then carefully put another perfectly square graham crcker on the top. Aaand...done! Ta-da! (self-satisfied giggle) Twilight: Ooh! Applejack: Nah, ya just eat 'em! (chomp, loud chewing, lips smacking loudly) (loud belch) Rarity: (repulsed) You could at LEAST say, "Excuse me." Applejack: Aw, I was just about to, but you interrupted me. ...(insincere) Pardon. Twilight: S'mores? Check. Now, the next item of fun we have to do is Truth or Dare. Rarity: I dare Applejack to do something carefully and neatly for a change. Applejack: Oh yeah?! Well, I dare Rarity to lighten up and stop obsessin' over every. Last. Little. Detail...for a change. Rarity: I think the TRUTH of the matter is that somepony could stand to pay a little more attention to details. Applejack: And I think the truth is somepony oughta quit with her fussin' so the rest of us can get things done. Twilight: Um...I don't think this is how the game's supposed to work. (reading) "You have to give an honest answer to any question or do whatever anypony dares you to do." Applejack: I dares YOU to step outside and let your precious, tidy mane get ruined again. (Rarity gasps) Twilight: You HAVE to! It's the rules. Applejack: HAH! Rarity: FINE! (Rarity sobs, slams door) (Applejack snickers) (Applejack chuckles) Rarity: Okay, I dare Applejack to play dress-up in a fru fru, glittery, lacy outfit. (Applejack gasps) Applejack: (embarrassed) Happy?! Rarity: (curtly) Very. (giggles) Twilight: Um, do I ever get a turn? Applejack: I dare ya to enter the next rodeo when it comes to town. Rarity: I dare you NOT to enter the next rodeo that comes to town! Applejack: I dare ya to not comb yer mane a hundred times before bed. Rarity: And I dare you to comb yours just once! Twilight: I, uh, I think we should check off Truth or Dare and move on. Let's see what our next fun fun fun thing is, shall we? Hm, what does THIS mean? "Pillow fight?" Rarity: Oh, please. I am not at all interested in participating in something so crude. (Rarity grunts) Oh! It. Is. ON. (Rarity grunts) (pillow hits Applejack) (kicks pillows) (Rarity grunts repeatedly) (kicks pillows) (pillow whips through air) (magical humming, sound of bllts whizzing past) (pillows whiz past) Twilight: (oblivious) Oh, I get it! Pillow. Fight! Fun! (pillows impact, Twilight grunts) (dazed) Uh, girls? Maybe we should take it down a notch? Applejack: I will if she will! Rarity: She started it! Twilight: (spits) Maybe we should just call it a night and get some sleep? Rarity: Keep your muddy hooves on YOUR side of the bed! Applejack: My hooves ain't muddy! Rarity: They WERE. There might still be a little on them. Applejack: There ain't. See? Rarity: Ewww! Applejack: Now who's bein' inconsiderate?! Rarity: I have to make the bed again so the blanket will be right. Rarity: Get up! Applejack: Hey! (blanket ruffles) Rarity: (tut-tutting) You'll RUIN it! You have to do it like this. (grunting delicately) (sighs) Applejack: Yeah...that's not gonna happen. GERONIMO! Rarity: HEY! (crash) (Applejack ahh's) Rarity: You did that on PURPOSE. Applejack: (sarcastic) Um. Yeah? Rarity: Get up so I can fix it again! Applejack: Can't hear ya! I'm asleep. (feigns snoring) (Rarity grunts) Applejack: I ain't budgin'. Rarity: (mouth full) Ru rill if ru rant any branket. Applejack: Give it back! Rarity: I will not! Applejack: Yes you will! Rarity: Won't! Applejack: Will! Rarity: Won't! Applejack: Will- Twilight: ENOUGH! It says RIGHT HERE that the number one thing you're supposed to do at slumber parties is have fun! And thanks to you two, I can't check that off! Applejack: I've been tryin' my darnedest to get along! Rarity: No, it is I who've been trying MY best. Applejack: No, it was me. Rarity: No, it was I. Applejack: Me! Rarity: I! Twilight: I hope you're happy. Both of you. You've ruined my very first slumber party! The makeovers, the s'mores, Truth or Dare, the pillow fight... I mean, is there ANYTHING else that could possibly go wrong?! (thunder) (meekly) Sorry I asked... (thunder) (all gasp) Applejack: Ya see? That's why we needed to take down all those little branches in town, not spiffy 'em up! Rarity: (defensively) But I- Applejack: Outta my way, Missy! Time's a-wastin'. (rope twirls) Rarity: Wait! Stop! DON'T! Applejack: No waitin'! No stoppin'! DOIN'! And that, my friends, is what we call, "Gettin' 'er done." (Rarity and Twilight scream) (tree crashes into house) Rarity: (whimpers) I TRIED to tell you it would come crashing down in here! Applejack: Well, you shoulda tried harder! I'm mighty sorry, Twilight. Twilight: It's...well, it's not okay! There's a giant tree branch in the middle of my bedroom. And the book doesn't say anything about having a giant tree branch at your slumber party. Or at least I haven't found the entry yet. (whimpers) Applejack: WHAT in tarnation are y'all doin' over there?! Rarity: Cleaning up this mess SOMEpony made! Who was that again? Oh, right, that's YOU! Applejack: We gotta do somethin'! Twilight: "Baking...BFFs...Brothers..." There's nothing in here about branches! (Applejack grunts) Applejack: Rarity, for pony's sake, stop sweatin' the small stuff and help me get rid o'this thing! I said hustle over here and help me! Look...I'm sorry, all right? Rarity: What was that? Applejack: I said I'm sorry! I shoulda listened to you when you noticed where this here branch would end up. Yer annoyin' attention to detail woulda saved us from this whole mess. But right now, ya need to stop bein' so dang fussy pickin' up all those little things and help me move the one big thing in here that actually matters! Please! Rarity: (pouts) But I'll get all icky! Applejack: Consarn it! (stumbles over words) I mean, yes, ickiness is often a side effect of hard work! But y'all need to get over it, on account I just can't fix this mess I made myself. I need your help. Rarity: Ohh...(determined) Let's do this. Twilight: Well, they do have a section about backyard slumber parties. Is that what we're doing right now? Does this count as camping? (Rarity strains) (musical chimes) (Applejack grunts) Rarity: (shocked gasp) I look awful... (mud sloshing) Applejack: Better? Rarity: Heh...thanks. Twilight: Oh, pretty! Where did these come from? ...They're not in the book either. (all giggling) Applejack: Is it bigger than a barn? Twilight: (giggles) Nope! Rarity: Is it smaller than a saddle? Twilight: (giggles) No! Only three of your questions left! Applejack: We're never gonna guess what y'er thinkin' of, it could be anythin'. Rarity: Are we getting warmer? Twilight: Why? Is it too cold in here for you? I can turn up the heat. Applejack: She means are we gettin' any closer with our guesses? Twilight: Oh! No. And that technically counted as a question, so only two more left! Applejack: Is it... a six-legged pony with a purple polka-dotted mane and sh*t' stars comin' out of his eyes? Rarity: Who flies through the air all over the world to hide magic, sparkly eggs? Twilight: That's it! Applejack and Rarity: It is? Twilight: No. (light chuckle) It's that. But it was just so nice to see you two finally getting along, I wanted you to be able to win together. (Applejack and Rarity laugh heartily) Twilight: See? We could've been having fun like this all along! Applejack: If only somepony hadn't been so persnickety. Rarity: Well, maybe she wouldn't have been if somepony else hadn't been so sloppy. Applejack: Sorry for being such a pain in the patootie. Rarity: Oh, no, I'm sure I was much worse. Applejack: That's kind o'ya to say, but I'm the one who's sorry. Rarity: Oh, I'm much more sorry than you are. Applejack: Are not. Rarity: Are too. (both laughing) Twilight: I declare my first slumber party a success! (all cheer) Have fun? Check. (Applejack and Rarity laugh) Rarity: Now take two steps to your left. Uh, no, my left. Applejack: Whu, which is it? (crash) Whoa! That mess is your fault, not mine. (laughs) Rarity: (giggles) Sorry. Twilight: (voice-over) "Dear Princess Celestia, It's hard to believe that two ponies who seem to have so little in common could ever get along. But I found out that if you embrace each other's differences, you might just be surprised to discover a way to be friends after all. (aloud) So, who's up for another slumber party tomorrow night? How about a week from Thursday? Oh, how about two weeks from Saturday? A month from now? (Applejack and Rarity laugh) (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x08 - Look Before You Sleep"}	foreverdreaming
Twilight: Wow, what a gorgeous day! Spike: Rainbow Dash must've gotten up early for once and cleared all the clouds away. Twilight: I bet all of Ponyville is gonna be out enjoying the sunshine. ...What? Where IS everypony? (window slams shut) (door slams) Spike: Is it some sort of pony holiday? Twilight: Not that I know of. Spike: Does my breath stink? (breathes f*re) Twilight: Not more than usual. Spike: Is it...ZOMBIES?! Twilight: Uh...not very likely. Spike: (apprehensively) Not likely...but...possible?! Pinkie Pie: (hushed) Psst! Twilight! Spike! Come here! Come! Here! HURRY! Before she GETS you! (door slams) (light clicks on, Twilight grunts) Spike: (fearful) Who?! The zombie pony?! Pinkie Pie: (voice trembling) Zoooombie poooony?! (Spike shudders) Twilight: Spike! There are NO zombie ponies! Pinkie! What are you doing here alone in the dark? Pinkie Pie: I'm not alone in the dark. (Twilight gasps) Twilight: Okay then, what are you ALL doing here in the dark? Applejack: (stammering) We-we're hidin' from h-h-her! (draws curtain) (hoof scraping dirt) (all except Twilight gasp) (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends (Spike grunts) Applebloom: Did you see her, Twilight? Did you see Zecora? Pinkie Pie: (exaggerated) Glance EEEVILLY this way! Twilight: And then a bunch of you flip out for no good reason! Applejack: No good reason?! You call protectin' yer kin "no good reason?" Why, as soon as my sister saw Zecora ridin' into town, (Applebloom shaking audibly) she started SHAKIN' in her little horseshoes! Applebloom: (voice shaking) Di-i-i-d n-o-o-o-t! Applejack: So I swept her up and brought 'er here. Applebloom: I walked here myself! Applejack: For safekeepin'! Applebloom: (rebellious) Applejack! I'm not a baby! I can take care o'myself! Applejack: Not from that creepy Zecora. Fluttershy: She's mysterious. Rainbow Dash: Sinister. Pinkie Pie: (exaggerated) And SPO-O-O-O-OKY! (Twilight grunts) (all except Twilight gasp) Twilight: Will you cut that out?! Rarity: Just LOOK at those stripes! So garish! Twilight: She's a zebra. Everyone but Twilight: A WHAT?! Twilight: A zebra! And her stripes aren't a fashion choice, Rarity. They're what she was born with. (Rarity faints theatrically) Applejack: Born WHERE?! I've never seen a pony like that in these parts...'cept... (shudders) her! Twilight: Well, she's probably not from here. And she's not a pony. (hoof scratching dirt) My book says zebras come from a faraway land. (door opens quietly) But I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live? (spooky theremin music) Applejack: That's just it. She lives in...THE EVERFREE FOREST! (loud thunder-like crash) Twilight: SPIKE! (loud thunder-like crash) Spike: (sheepishly) Heh...sorry. Applejack: The Everfree Forest just ain't natural. The plants grow. Fluttershy: Animals care for themselves... Rainbow Dash: And the clouds move... All three: ALL ON THEIR OWN! (Rarity faints theatrically) Pinkie Pie: And that wicked enchantress Zecora lives there doing her evil...uh...STUFF! She's so evil, I even wrote a song about her! Rainbow Dash: (sarcastic) Here we go... Pinkie Pie: (singing frantically) She's an evil enchantress She does evil dances And if you look deep in her eyes She'll put you in trances Then what will she do? She'll mix up an evil brew And she'll gobble you up In a big tasty stew Sooo...WATCH OUT! (song ends) (panting heavily) Twilight: Wow. Catchy. Pinkie Pie: It's a work in progress. Twilight: This is all just a bunch of gossip and rumors. Now tell me, what exactly have you SEEN Zecora do? Rainbow Dash: Well...once a month, she comes into Ponyville. Twilight: (mocking) Ooooh. Rarity: Then she lurks by the stores. Twilight: (mocking) Oh MY! Fluttershy: And then, she digs at the ground... Twilight: (hyperbolic) Good gracious! (normally) Okay, I'm sorry. But how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit. Applebloom: Yeah! Maybe she's just tryin' t'be neighborly! Twilight: And maybe she's not LURKING by the stores. Maybe she's GOING to them, lurk-free, to do some shopping? Applebloom: Yeah! Everypony likes to shop! Applebloom: You know what I think? Applejack: APPLEBLOOM! Hush and let the big ponies talk! Applebloom: (pouting) I AM a big pony! Rainbow Dash: What about digging at the ground? You gotta admit THAT'S weird. Fluttershy: What if she's digging for innocent creatures? (Pinkie Pie singing "Evil Enchantress" in the background) Twilight: I'm sure there's an explanation for everything Zecora does. And if ANYPONY here were actually brave enough to approach her, she would find out the truth. Applebloom: Well, I'm brave enough! I'm gonna find out myself! (Applebloom gasps, gulps) (hoof scrapes dirt) Twilight: You ponies are being RIDICULOUS! Pinkie Pie: (ominously) Well, I heard that Zecora eats HAY. Twilight: (exasperated) Pinkie. I eat hay. YOU eat hay. Pinkie Pie: Yeah, but I heard it's the EVIL way she eats hay. Applejack: (worried) Hey! Where's Applebloom?! Fluttershy: The door's open! Rarity: She went outside?! Rainbow Dash: And Zecora's still out there! Applejack: (worried) That silly little filly! I told her to stay put! Twilight: Spike, you stay here in case Applebloom comes back. Spike: Will do! (strange noises) (Applebloom gulps) Applejack: Applebloom?! (Applebloom gasps) Applejack: You get back here right now! Zecora: (African accent, speaking in meter) Beware! Beware, you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke! Applejack: You keep yer creepy mumbo-jumbo to yerself, ya hear?! (ponies talking over each other, Pinkie Pie singing "Evil Enchantress") Twilight: (sighs) Oh brother. Zecora: (fading) Beware! BEWARE! Rainbow Dash: Yeah, back atcha, Zecora! You and your...lame...curse are the ones who better beware! Applejack: And YOU! Why couldn't you just listen to your big sister?! Applebloom: (stammering) I...I... Applejack: Who knows what kinda nasty curse Zecora coulda just put on you?! Pinkie Pie: Just like in my song! (singing) Evil enchantress, with the dances, and the trances Twilight: You guys! There's no such thing as curses! Rainbow Dash: Well, that's interesting to hear, coming from Miss Magic-pants herself. Twilight: My magic - REAL magic - comes from within. It's a skill you're born with. Curses are artificial. Fake magic. It's conjured with potions and incantations. All smoke and mirrors meant to scare. But curses have no real power. They're just an old pony tale. Applejack: Just you wait, Twilight. You're gonna learn that some pony tales really are true. Pinkie Pie: (singing) She's an evil enchantress, she does evil dances (Twilight dreaming other characters' voices) Zecora: Beware! BEWARE! (Twilight dreaming other characters' voices) Pinkie Pie: (singing) If you look deep in her eyes, she will put you in trances (Twilight dreaming other characters) Rainbow Dash: Yeah, was that supposed to scare us?! Rarity: Wicked, wicked diva! Fluttershy: A curse... (Twilight dreaming other characters' voices) Pinkie Pie: (singing) Then what will she do? (Twilight dreaming other characters' voices) Applejack: Just you wait, Twilight. Some pony tales really are true. (Twilight dreaming other characters' voices) Pinkie Pie: (singing) Then she'll gobble you up in a big tasty stew (Twilight dreaming other characters' voices) Pinkie Pie: Soooo...WATCH OUT! (Zecora laughs sinisterly) (Twilight dreaming other characters' voices) (Twilight whimpering in sleep) (rooster crows) Twilight: (groggily) Ugh...what a dream... Curses-shmurses. Whoa! (chuckles) Maybe Zecora cursed my hair. (laughs nervously, gasps) (panicked) Or she cursed my horn! Twilight: No, no, no, no, NO! None of these books have a cure! (horn flops) (groans) There has to be a real reason for this! An illness? An allergy?! Spike: A curse! Twilight: I said a real reason. Something that points to something real. Spike: How about this one? Twilight: (reading) "Supernaturals?" Spike, the word "supernatural" refers to things like ghosts, and spirits, and zombies, which are as make-believe as curses. This book is just a bunch of hooey! Spike: But what if you're wrong, Twilight? Spike: What if this really is a- Pinkie Pie: (garbled) A THURTH! Spike: A purse?! How could it be a purse? Twilight: Pinkie! What happened?! Pinkie Pie: (garbled, spitting) Ipth wapth Zeporptha! Spthe thputh a curth on me! Spike: Augh! Say it, don't spray it, Pinkie! (loud thud) Rainbow Dash: Ow! (loud thud) Oh! She's (thud) trying to say-ow! Zecora- (thud, grunt) (door crashes open) She slapped us all with a- (thud) ow! Curse. Rarity: I'm afraid I have to agree. (blows hair out of face) (Spike and Twilight yelp in surprise) Applejack: (high-pitched voice) I hate to say I told ya so, Twilight, but I told ya so! (Twilight and Spike gasp) Applejack: it's a curse, I tells ya! Twilight: But...Fluttershy...seems just fine. Rarity: Yes, there doesn't seem to be a THING wrong with her. Twilight: Fluttershy? Are you okay? Is there something wrong with you? Twilight: ...Would you care to tell us? (horn flopping) So...you're NOT gonna tell us? Yes you're not, or yes you will? Applejack: Good gravy, girl! What's wrong with you?! Fluttershy: (baritone manly voice) I don't wanna talk about it... (Spike snorts and bursts into raucous laughter) Spike: This is HILARIOUS! (laughing) Look at all of you! We got: Hairity [Rarity], Rainbow Crash [Dash], Spittie [Pinkie] Pie, Appleteeny [appletini], Flutterguy [Fluttershy], and...uh... I got nothin'. "Twilight Sparkle." I mean, seriously. I can't even work with that. Twilight: (sarcastic laughter) This is no joke, Spike. (horn flops noisily) Now start looking for more books so I can find a cure! (horn flops noisily) (Spike groans) (Rainbow Dash strains, pops out of ladder) Rainbow Dash: I think we'll find a cure to this curse at Zecora's place! Twilight: It's not a curse! (Rainbow Dash crashes) Applejack: I agree with Dash! We'll go to Zecora's and force her to remove this hex! (Rainbow Dash zips around) Twilight: It's not a hex either! (all but Applebloom arguing) Applebloom: This is all my fault. If I hadn't followed Zecora in the first place, none of this would've happened. I just gotta fix this. Applejack: Now, where does she think she's goin' this time?! Rainbow Dash: I don't care what you say, Twilight! It's time to pony up and confront Zecora! Come on, girls! Are you with me?! Pinkie Pie: I ampth! Rarity: And I, as well. Fluttershy: Uh, I don't know. Seems awfully dangerous. (Spike giggles) Rainbow Dash: How 'bout you, Applejack? ...Applejack? Pinkie Pie: She'thp gonthe! Rarity: (panicked shriek) Or somepony stepped on her! Twilight: Or...sat on her? (horn flops) Rainbow Dash: Rarity's hair! Rarity: (squealing) Oh! OH! Pinkie, what are you doing?! Really! (squeals) You ever hear of personal space?! Pinkie Pie: Nopeth. Twilight: Applebloom is gone too! Rainbow Dash: I bet they went after Zecora! Twilight: Well, we better go find them. (Rainbow Dash crashes) Twilight: Come on, girls, let's go. Rarity: (strains theatrically) Oh dear! Oh, this is SO unseemly! (exaggerated yelp) Rainbow Dash: (dragging along floor) Hey! A little help, here? Fluttershy: Oopsie! Sorry. (sound of plane spinning out of control, crash) Rainbow Dash: OW! Fluttershy: Uh, Spike? Are you coming? Spike: Nope! Uh...gotta stay here and look for a cure. (gasps) "Twilight Flopple!" [Sparkle] Applejack: Stop right there! Turn around right now, missy! Applebloom: (rebellious) No. Applejack: No?! You can't ignore a direct order from your big sister! (Applejack grunts) Applebloom: (giggles) Sorry, Applejack, but I'M the big sister now. Applejack: Applebloom! You come back here right this instant! (blustering) I'M GONNA TELL BIG MACINTOSH ON YOU! (upset) Aw, ponyfeathers. Twilight: Come on, girls! We've got to get to Zecora's! Hurry! (Rarity trips) Rarity: (yelps) Easier said than done! Rainbow Dash: Hey! Wait for me! (Rainbow Dash screams, sound of plane spinning out of control, crash) (Rainbow Dash groans, tree falls) Applejack: Rainbow! Thank Celestia! There's no time to lose! (banjo music) I need to get to Zecora's, pronto! Giddyap, pony! Rainbow Dash: Ex-CUSE me? Applejack: (kicks Rainbow Dash's thigh) YEE-HAW! Rainbow Dash: What the?! Applejack: No, Rainbow Dash! Other way! Rarity: (theatrically) Oh! I look HORRIBLE! Pinkie Pie: Thish plashp looksh horriplesh! Rarity: Oh my. That place really DOES look horrible! Rarity: Nice decorations. If you like CREEPY! (door opens) (ponies gasp) (cauldron bubbling) (Zecora speaking native language) Pinkie Pie: She shtole my sthong! She (unintelligible babble)! Rarity: She stole your song? Twilight: Oh, Pinkie. That doesn't sound anything like your song. Pinkie: (blows air over tongue) ...Ah! (Pinkie tries and fails to talk) (inquisitive yelp) (Fluttershy sighs) Fluttershy: (singing baritone unenthusiastically) She's an evil enchantress She does evil dances And if you look deep in her eyes She will put you in trances Then what will she do? She'll mix up an evil brew Then she'll gobble you up In a big tasty stew Soooo...watch out. Rarity: YOU saw those terrible things! NOW do you believe us, Twilight?! Twilight: Scary looking masks, confusing incantations, and a great big bubbling cauldron? (horn flopping) (sighs) Everything IS pointing to Zecora being...bad! Or...what if Zecora's just making soup? Zecora: (tastes soup, speaking in meter) Mmm. The perfect temperature for ponies, I presume. Now, where is that little Applebloom? Twilight: (fearful) Or...what if she's making Applebloom Soup? What if she's making Applebloom Soup? (ponies scream, Fluttershy in a very low pitch) (Rainbow Dash screams) Applejack: I'm comin' for ya, Applebloom! (door crashes open, Zecora speaks native language frantically, Rainbow Dash crashes into various things) Applejack: Whoa there! Easy, Rainbow Crash! (glass breaks, Zecora speaks native language) (Rainbow Dash screams, Zecora speaks native language, door slams, horn flops) Twilight: (horn flops) What have you done with Applebloom?! Zecora: No! No! (speaks native language) (Rainbow Dash screams, crashes) (rope twirls) (Applejack grunts repeatedly, Rainbow Dash screams) (crash) Zecora: Ponies! What is this you- (Rainbow Dash screams, cauldron falls over and spills contents) (speaking in meter) No! You know not what you do! You've gone and spilled my precious brew! (stew pours onto ground) Twilight: We're onto you, Zecora! I didn't want to believe you cursed us, but the evidence is overwhelming! Rarity: You made me look ridiculous! Fluttershy: You made me SOUND ridiculous! (Pinkie Pie talks and spits unintelligibly) Twilight: (horn flops) You ruined my horn! Zecora: How dare you?! (speaking in meter) You destroy my home, destroy my work, then rudely accuse me of being a jerk?! Rainbow Dash: You put this curse on us, now you're gonna UNcurse us! Zecora: (speaking in meter) It is unwise to venture down this road. Your actions will make my anger explode! (ponies gasp) Twilight: (accusatory, horn flops) Where is Applebloom? (Twilight and Zecora butt heads) Applebloom: Zecora! I think I found all the things ya asked for. What in Ponyville is goin' on here?! Applejack: (gasps) Applebloom! You're okay! Applebloom: Why wouldn't I be? Twilight: Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us and was going to cook you up into soup! (horn flops) (Zecora and Applebloom laugh) Applebloom: Oh, Twilight! Did those silly fillies finally get in yer head? Y'know there's no such thing as a curse! Twilight: (horn flops, condescending) Applebloom, sweetie, you can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse! Applebloom: (flatly) This isn't a curse. Zecora: (metric) If you will remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact. (in flashback) Beware! Beware, you ponyfolk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke! Applebloom: It was a warning. About that blue plant. It's called Poison Joke. Zecora: That plant is much like poison oak, but its results are like a joke. Applejack: WHAT in the hay does that mean? Zecora: It means this plant does not breed wrath. Instead, this plant just wants a laugh. Applejack: Will SOMEpony please talk normal?! Twilight: I think what she's saying is that when we ran in to save Applebloom, we ran into the Poison Joke. All our problems were just little jokes it played on us. Applejack: "LITTLE" jokes?! (sarcastic) Very funny. Rainbow Dash: Ok, fine. But what about the cauldron? Fluttershy: And the chanting? Rarity: And the creepy decor? Zecora: Treasures of the native land where I am from. This one speaks 'hello', and this 'welcome'. Rarity: Not welcoming at all, if you ask me. Zecora: The words I chanted were from olden times. Something you call a nursery rhyme. Twilight: But the cauldron...The Applebloom Soup? Applebloom: Lookie here, Twilight! That pot o'water wasn't for me! It was for all these herbal ingredients! The cure for Poison Joke is a simple old natural remedy! You just gotta take a bubble bath! Twilight: (horn flops) But I tried to find a cure in all my books and couldn't find anything. What book has this natural remedy? Zecora: Here is the book, you see? Sad that you lack it in your library. Twilight: (embarrassed) Actually, I do have this book, but I didn't look inside because the title was so... Weird. Twilight: (reading) "Supernaturals: Natural Remedies and Cure-alls That Are Simply Super." (humbled) I...I...I'm so sorry, Zecora. (horn flops) I had the answer the whole time, if only I had bothered to look inside. Zecora: [chuckle] Maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book. (Applebloom giggles) Twilight: Zecora? Would you be kind enough to mix up another batch of the herbal bath? Zecora: Mix it up I certainly will. Yet I am missing an herb from Ponyville. Applebloom: But whenever Zecora comes to town, all the shops are mysteriously closed! Twilight: (horn flops) Oh, well...I think we can help you with that. (ponies chattering) Daisy: Look, Rose! How awful! Rose: The wicked enchantress has cursed them all! Lily: The horror! The horror! (ponies screaming over each other, doors slamming) (Twilight knocks on door) Twilight: Daisy? We need to talk. Twilight: (voice-over) "Dear Princess Celestia, my friends and I all learned an important lesson this week: Never judge a book by its cover. Someone may look unusual, or funny, or scary. But you have to look past that and learn who they are inside. Real friends don't care what your cover is; It's the contents of a pony that count. And a good friend, like a good book, is something that will last forever. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle." Lotus: Miss Zecora. I would love to get the recipe for this bath. It's simply luxurious! Applebloom: (realizing) Applejack! Hey, where's Applejack?! (ponies gasping and splashing loudly) Applejack: I'm right here, li'l sis! I ain't tiny no more! Rarity: Ooh. I have never felt so lovely in all my life! (splash) Pinkie Pie: Oh my gosh! I've never realized how horrible it is to not be able to talk. I mean I love talking so much and when I couldn't talk 'cause my tongue was all 'ehhhh'. It was the worst! Don't you agree, Fluttershy? Fluttershy: (normal voice) Yes. (ponies laugh) (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x09 - Bridle Gossip"}	foreverdreaming
(Fluttershy singing tunelessly to herself) (squirrel chattering) Fluttershy: Thank you, little squirrel! But remember, these flowers are for Princess Celestia. Only the prettiest ones will do. (wind blows) (squirrel chatters sheepishly) (Flutershy singing to self tunelessly) (chirp, Fluttershy shrieks) (thud) (creature chirps) (gently) Hello, little guy! I've never seen anything like you before. Oh, are you hungry? (apple squishes) Here you go. (sound of buzzsaw grinding, basket thuds) (Fluttershy gasps) I guess you WERE hungry. (creature purrs) You're the cutest thing EVER! I can't wait to show you to my friends. (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends Twilight: (harried) Oh, hurry up, Spike! This place isn't gonna clean itself! Spike: (under breath) It also didn't mess itself up. Twilight: Princess Celestia will be here tomorrow! Spike: I thought this was just an unofficial casual visit. Twilight: There's nothing CASUAL about a visit from ROYALTY! I want this place to be spotless, and you've barely made a dent in the clutter! Spike: (out of breath) Maybe you should start reading them...one at a time- whoooa! (books crash, Spike grunts) Twilight: Everything's got to be perfect. No time for fooling around. Spike: (shoving books aside) You know, this would be an awful lot easier if there weren't two of us here getting under each other's feet! Twilight: Great idea! You clean; I'll go see how everyone else's preparations are coming. Spike: Maybe I should- Twilight: What happened to the rest of her name? Carrot: We couldn't fit it all in. Twilight: You can't hang a banner that says, "Welcome Princess Celest!" Take it down and try again. Twilight: (approving) That looks perfect. Keep up the good work. Twilight: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cake! How's the banquet coming? Mrs. Cake: (agitated) It would be coming a little better... (cake splats, Pinkie Pie eats noisily) (Pinkie Pie slurps) Twilight: (shocked) Pinkie! WHAT are you doing?! Those sweets are supposed to be for the princess! Pinkie Pie: Aaah, I know! That's why I'm tasting them! Somepony needs to make sure that everything is tasty enough to (garbled) tosh the royal togue, (theatrically) and I, Pinkie Pie, declare that these treats are fit for a KING, or a QUEEN, or a PRINCESS. Fluttershy: ...Twilight! Pinkie! You won't believe...oh...I'm sorry...am I interrupting? Pinkie Pie: No, not at all! Come on in and make yourself at home! (noisy chomp and slurp) Pinkie Pie: What's goin' on, Fluttershy? Fluttershy: You won't believe what I found at the edge of the Everfree Forest! (gently) Come on out, little guy. It's okay. (pop) (creatures purr) (gasp) Three? Twilight: They're amazing! What are they? Fluttershy: I'm not sure. I'm also not sure where these other two came from. Twilight: I'll take one off your hooves. I've never seen anything so... (gushing) adorable. (sheepish) Besides, it'll be nice to have a companion for Spike so he won't bother me so much while I'm studying. Fluttershy: Pinkie? Do you want the other one? Pinkie Pie: (disgusted) UGH! A parasprite?! [parasite + sprite] Are you KIDDING?! Fluttershy: "Ugh?" Twilight: A para-what? Fluttershy: How could she not like- Pinkie Pie: (exasperated groan) Now I gotta go find a trombone! Twilight: ...A what?! Pinkie Pie: A trombone! You know... (imitates trombone) Twilight: (sighs) Typical Pinkie. (parasprite purrs) Rarity: Stand STILL, Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash: (pouts) I caaaan't! I need to fly! This is waaaay too boring for me. Rarity: DO you want to look nice for Princess Celestia or not? Twilight: (in awe) Wooow! Rarity, those outfits are gorgeous! Rarity: (flattered) Thank you, Twilight. Nice to know SOMEone appreciates my talents. Rainbow Dash: Ugh. SO booooring. (snap) (parasprite chirps) Rarity: Huh? Rainbow Dash: What's that sound, Twilight? (parasprites chirp) Rainbow Dash: Wow! What are they? Twilight: The better question is, where did they come from? I only had one a minute ago. Rainbow Dash: Uh, I'll take one. Rarity: (gushing) Me too! Oh, they're PERFECT! Pinkie Pie: Does anypony know where to find an accordion?! (all but Pinkie Pie making baby noises) Girls! Helloooo?! This is important! (exasperated groan) Thanks a LOT. (owl hoots) Twilight: (sighs) The decorations, the banquet... I really hope everything comes together in time for tomorrow. (Spike and parasprite snoring) Twilight: (yawns) What's there to worry about? (many parasprites snoring in discordant harmony) Twilight: SPIKE! (crashes to floor) Wake up! What happened?! Spike: Huh...? (screams) (pop) What's goin' on?! Twilight: Where did they come from?! Spike: I dunno. The little guy got hungry in the night, so I gave him a snack, but...I have no idea where these others came from! (crash) Oh no! They're messing up all my hard work! (books falling to ground) Twilight: (worried) The princess will be here in a few hours! (Spike grunts, crashes) Twilight: Spike, help me round up these little guys! Spike: (harried) What does...it look like...I'm doin'?! (parasprites wobble) Whoa, aaah! (crashes, grunts) (feather duster shaking rapidly) (resigned) I know, I know. "Stop foolin' around." (Rainbow Dash snoring lightly) (pop, parasprite chirps) (parasprites chirp) Rainbow Dash: (groggily) Huh...? Huh? GET OFF! (Rainbow Dash groans) Eugh! Get OFF me! (flails and grunts) (grunts) (screams, fades into distance) Rarity: Not only are you ADORABLE, but you're also quite useful! (parasprite purrs, gags) Rarity: (worried) Oh! Are you okay? (splat, Rarity yelps in disgust) (gasp) Eeewwwww! (pop) (repulsed) AAAH! Gross gross GROSS! No creature that behaves so REVOLTINGLY is allowed in my boutique! (parasprite gags noisily, coughs) (pop) (Rarity shrieks) Pinkie Pie: Look, Rarity! Applejack lent me her harmonica! (plays scales) Isn't that GREAT?! (parasprites chirp) (gasps) And not a moment too soon! Rarity: (sighs) Pinkie, I'm a little busy right now. Pinkie Pie: And I'm NOT?! Do you know how many more instruments I've gotta find?! A LOT. That's how many. Now, if we split the work between us, we MIGHT just make it in time! Rarity: PLEASE, Pinkie! I don't have time for some silly scavenger hunt! I've got a REAL problem! Pinkie Pie: You've got a real problem, all right, and a banjo is the only answer! (Twilight and Rarity gasp in turn) (bag rustles) Rarity: I see we're having the same problem. Rainbow Dash: Ditto! Twilight: Fluttershy knows everything about animals. (unconvinced) I'm sure she can tell us how to stop them. (door slams, parasprites chirp) Twilight: ...Or not. Twilight: Do something, Fluttershy! Can't you control them?! Fluttershy: (frantically) I've tried everything I know! I've tried begging, and pleading, and beseeching, and asking politely, and... (Rainbow Dash grunts in disgust) (royal fanfare) (Princess Celestia screams, protests incoherently) Twilight: If we can't get them under control before the princess arrives, it'll be TOTAL DISASTER! (parasprite hacks, pop) Rarity: (repulsed) Eeewww! If you ask me, it's ALREADY a total disaster! (cart rolling) Applejack: Here's all those apples you wanted, Fluttershy, but I still can't figure why ya need so many. (buzzsaw grinding) HEY! Fluttershy: What do we do?! Twilight: (gasps) I got it! NOpony can herd like Applejack! Rainbow Dash: Yeah! We can drive 'em back into the forest! Applejack: I'll wrassle 'em up, but I'll need everypony's help t'do it. Twilight, you and Rarity wait over there. I'll herd the little critters straight atcha like a funnel. Rainbow Dash, you'n'Fluttershy stay on top of 'em; don't let 'em fly away. Rainbow Dash: Aye, aye! Applejack: YEEE-HAW! Applejack: All right, y'all, here goes nothin'! Look out, Rarity! That one's fixin' to get away! (country music) Keep a lean on 'em, Rainbow Dash! (country music) (country music) Hold on, girls! We're almost there! (country music) Twilight: Pinkie! (country music) Pinkie Pie: Twilight! We don't have much time! (country music) Twilight: You're telling me! The princess could arrive at any moment! (country music) Pinkie Pie: Exactly. That's why I need you girls to drop what you're doing and help me find some maracas! (country music) Twilight: Maracas..? Pinkie, we've got much bigger problems than missing maracas! (country music) Pinkie Pie: (gasps) You're RIGHT! (country music) Getting a TUBA has to be our number one goal! (country music) Follow me! (country music) (country music) I said, "FOLLOW ME!" (country music) Rainbow Dash: Pinkie Pie? You are SO random. (country music) Pinkie Pie: And you're all so STUBBORN! (country music) Applejack: Forget her, ladies. (country music) Focus! Head 'em up and move 'em out! (country music) (rumbling) (country music) (rumbling fades away) (country music ends) Rainbow Dash: All right! (grunts, hollow clank noise) Fluttershy: Ouch... Twilight: We did it! Nice work, Applejack! Applejack: Couldn't-a done it without y'all! Twilight: Now let's get back and clean up the mess they made before the princess arrives! Twilight: Okay, everyone knows what to do, right? We gotta work extra hard to make up for lost time. (door slams, Fluttershy shrieks) Twilight: (gasps, drowned out by wind) Where did THEY come from?! Fluttershy: (sheepishly) Well, I may have kept just one... (Fluttershy chuckles weakly) (defensively) I couldn't help myself! They're just...so...cute... Twilight: We don't have time to keep rounding up these things! What do we do now?! Rainbow Dash: We call in the weather patrol! (Rarity shrieks) Time to take out the adorable trash. (battle cry, beating chest) (parasprites chirp, Rainbow Dash whooshes past) (whooshing increases in frequency, wind picks up) (wind whooshing loudly, vacuum sucking noises) (ponies groaning) (vacuum sucking) Twilight: Way to go, Rainbow Dash! Applejack: Looks like our problems are solved! Pinkie Pie: They will be with these cymbals! (yelps) Give those back! (Rainbow Dash yelping) Rainbow Dash: I can't hold it! She's breaking up! (thud) Twilight: Pinkie Pie! WHAT have you DONE?! Pinkie Pie: I just lost a brand-new pair of cymbals, that's what I've done! Twilight: Will you forget about your silly instruments for one second?! You're ruining our efforts to save Ponyville! Pinkie Pie: (incredulous) ME?! Ruin?! I'm not the ruinER, I'm the ruinEE! ...Or is it "ruiness?" ..."Ruinette?" Applejack: Come on, girls! There's no reasoning with that one. She's a few apples short of a bushel. Pinkie Pie: Hey! I'm trying to tell you all that the ruining is on the other hoof! If you'd just slow down and LISTEN TO ME! (parasprite chirps) (parasprite eats noisily, pony gasps) (buzzsaw grinding, loud munching, pony gasps) (commotion) Fluttershy: What do we do? They're eating all the food in town. Applejack: (gasps) My apples! Twilight: We've gotta do something! (gasps) I've got it! I'll cast a spell to make them stop eating all the food! (radar pings) Pinkie Pie: Look! Tambourines! If you can all just- (frustrated scream) (Twilight gasps) (parasprite chirps) (Twilight sighs with relief) (parasprite munches noisily) (pop) (chomp) (chomp) (buzzsaw grinding) Rainbow Dash: (sarcastic) Hey. It worked. They're not eating the FOOD anymore. Rarity: Oh no...if they get inside my store... (hysterical) EVERYPONY FOR HERSELF! MY OUTFITS! (parasprites munching noisily) Go on, shoo! Get out of here! Naughty, naughty! (parasprite gags, coughs) (Rarity shrieking) Pinkie Pie: I'LL SAVE YOU! (blows recorder, produces flat, dissonant note) (Rarity shrieks) Applejack: No woodland creature's gonna eat the Apple Family crop! (rumbling, banjo music rising in pitch and tempo) Brace yourself, y'all! Here they come! (music crescendos) (buzzsaw grinding, wood creaking) (crash) Applejack: (gasps) ...Didn't see that one comin'... Spike: (panicked) HELP! (books flying) (slurp, Twilight gasps) Twilight: They're eating the WORDS! (slurping) Spike: (voice breaking) Help... (door slams, Zecora flails, falls, grunts) Zecora: Have you gone mad? Twilight: (spits) Zecora! These little guys are devouring Ponyville! And the princess is on her way! Can you help us? Please?! Zecora: (metric speech) O monster of so little size, is that a parasprite before my eyes? Twilight: I dunno! Is it?! Zecora: (somber metric speech) Tales of crops and harvests consumed. If these creatures are in Ponyville...you're doomed. (Twilight gulps) (Twilight grunts) Twilight: Oh no! Here she comes! (ponies panicking) (snap) Twilight: Okay! Here's the plan. Rainbow Dash, you distract them. (Rainbow Dash screams) (ponies screaming in background) Good! Everyone else, we need to build an exact copy of Ponyville right there. We've got less than a minute! (loud crash in background) (crestfallen) Zecora was right. We're doomed. (fanfare) Oh no! The princess' procession is here! (lively band music plays) It's all over! (lively band music) (Twilight doubletakes) (lively band music) Pinkie! We're in the middle of a crisis here! (lively band music) This is no time for your...(confused) nonsense...? (lively band music) (lively band music) Twilight: Look! (lively band music) (lively band music) Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, my prized pupil. (lively band music) Twilight: (nervous) Hello, Princess! (lively band music) Celestia: So lovely to see you again, as well as your friends. (lively band music approaching) (lively band music) Twilight: (nervous) So, how was the trip? (lively band music) (joking awkwardly) Get much traffic? (lively band music) Celestia: Ah, what is this? (parasprite chirps) (lively band music) (giggles) These creatures are adorable! (lively band music) Rainbow Dash: (under breath) They're not THAT adorable... (lively band music) Celestia: I'm terribly honored that you and the good citizens of Ponyville (lively band music) have organized a parade in honor of my visit. (lively band music) Twilight: ...Parade? (feigns acknowledgment) Oh, yes! The PARADE! (lively band music) Celestia: Unfortunately, that visit is going to have to wait for another time. (lively band music) I'm afraid an emergency has come up in Fillydelphia. [Philadelphia] (lively band music) Apparently there's been some sort of..."infestation." (lively band music) Twilight: (feigning innocence) An infestation? (lively band music) Celestia: Yes, a swarm of incredibly bothersome creatures has inv*de the poor town. (lively band music) I'm sorry, Twilight, to have to put you all through so much trouble. (lively band music) Twilight: (feigning ignorance) Trouble? What trouble? (lively band music) Celestia: Before I have to go, would you care to give me your latest report on the magic of friendship in person? (lively band music) Twilight: My...report? (lively band music) Celestia: Haven't you learned anything about friendship? (lively band music) (lively band music) Twilight: Actually, I have. (lively band music) I've learned that sometimes the solution to your problems can come from where you least expect it. (lively band music) It's a good idea to stop and listen to your friends' ideas and perspectives, (lively band music) (cymbals crash loudly) (lively band music) ...even when they don't always seem to make sense. (lively band music) Celestia: I'm so proud of you, Twilight Sparkle, (lively band music) and I'm very impressed with your friends as well. (lively band music) It sounds like you're all learning so much from each other. (lively band music) Twilight: Thank you, Princess. (lively band music) Twilight: Thank you, Princess. (lively band music) Pinkie Pie: Hey! What happened to the princess? (music ends) Twilight: Emergency in Fillydelphia. Rainbow Dash: (hinting) Some sort of "infestation." Pinkie Pie: Oh no! Have they got parasprites, too?! Well, have tuba, will travel! (Pinkie Pie blows descending scale on tuba) Twilight: I think the princess can handle it. Applejack: So you knew what those critters were all along, huh, Pinkie Pie? Pinkie Pie: Well, DUH! Why do you think I was so frantic to get my hooves on all these instruments?! (accordion plays discordantly as Pinkie Pie moves) I TRIED to tell you. Twilight: We know, Pinkie Pie, and we're sorry we didn't listen. (all apologizing profusely) Twilight: You're a great friend...even if we don't always understand you. Pinkie Pie: Thanks, guys! You're all great friends, too...even when I don't understand me. Twilight: You saved my reputation with Princess Celestia! And more importantly, you saved Ponyville! (crash) Or not. (trombone "wah-wah-wah-waaaah") (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x10 - Swarm of the Century"}	foreverdreaming
(school bell rings, students chattering) (students chattering) Cheerilee: Let's quiet down, please. We have a very important lesson to get to. (chattering ceases) Thank you. Today, we are going to be talking about cutie marks. Tiara: (unenthusiastic) Booo-ring. Cheerilee: You can all see my cutie mark, can't you? Like all ponies, I wasn't born with a cutie mark. My flank was blank. Twist: (nasal voice) Awww! She's so precious! Cheerilee: Then one day, when I was about your age, I woke up to find that a cutie mark had appeared! Student: (valley girl accent) Look at her hair! (students laugh) Cheerilee: Yes, I know, but honestly, that's how everypony was wearing their mane back then. I had decided to become a teacher, and the flowers symbolized my hope that I could help my future students bloom if I nurtured them with knowledge. The smiles represented the cheer I hoped to bring to my little ponies while they were learning. Now, can anyone tell me when a pony gets his or her cutie mark? Twist: Oh! Oh! When she discovers that certain something that makes her special! Cheerilee: That's right, Twist. A cutie mark appears on a pony's flank when he or she finds that certain something that makes them different from every other pony. Discovering what makes you unique isn't something that happens overnight, (Tiara "pssts" at Applebloom) and no amount of hoping, wishing, or begging will make a cutie mark appear before its time. Tiara: (very ostentatiously) PSSSSSST! Applebloom: What?! Cheerilee: Applebloom! Are you passing a note? Applebloom: (stammering) U-uh, I...um... Cheerilee: WHAT could be so important that it couldn't wait until after class? (gasps) It's blank! Tiara: (laughs mockingly) Remind you of anypony? (students laugh) (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat (school bell rings, students chatter as they file out) Twist: Want some sweets? I've got some peppermint sticks. I made them myself. (Applebloom mutters in declination) They'll make you smiiiile... Applebloom: (dejected) No... Tiara: I don't know why we had to sit through a lecture about getting a cutie mark. I mean, waiting for your cutie mark is SO last week. You've got yours, I just got mine. We ALL have them already. (Twist gasps) I mean, ALMOST all of us have them already. Don't worry, you two. You're still totally invited to my cute-ceañera [quinceañera] this weekend. Silver Spoon: It's going to be amazing. Tiara: It's a party celebrating ME and my FANTASTIC cutie mark. How could it NOT be? Tiara and Silver Spoon: (chanting) Bump, bump, sugar-lump, rump! (both giggle) Applebloom: (dully) Gimme a break. Silver Spoon: See you this weekend! Tiara and Silver Spoon: (laugh, teasing) BLANK FLANKS! (both giggle) Applebloom: (whining) It's not fair! It's just not fair! Applejack: Don't get yer mane in a tangle. You'll get yer cutie mark. Everypony gets one eventually. Applebloom: (pouting) But I don't want one EVENTUALLY! I want one right NOW! I can't go to Diamond Tiara's cute-ceañera without one! I just can't! Applejack: 'Course you can. Y'know, I was the last pony in my class to get a cutie mark. And I couldn't be prouder of it. (polishing squeak) I know my future was to run Sweet Apple Acres, and these bright shiny apples sealed the deal. Heh, same with Big Macintosh. Applebloom: I really don't see how that's supposed to make me feel better. It probably means bein' the last one in your class t'get a cutie mark runs in the family. ..."Runs in the family..." (perks up) Runs in the family! (excited) Runs in the family! You've got apples for your cutie mark, Granny Smith has an apple pie, Big Macintosh has an apple half, my unique talent must have som'n to do with apples! Apples! Apples! Apples! (crash) (chuckles weakly) ...Apples. (ponies chattering) Applejack: Get your delicious, nutritious apples here! Applebloom: (sales pitch voice) Delicious and nutritious, and SO many uses! (chomp) You can eat 'em, (gulps) play with 'em, (Applebloom grunts, racket thwacks apple) Female pony: Hey! Watch it! Applebloom: ...create fine art for your home with 'em, (splat) you'd have to be CRAZY not to get a bushel of yer very own! Applejack: (chuckles nervously) She's so creative...heh... Applebloom: You, sir! Care t'buy some apples? Male pony: Uh, no, thanks. Applebloom: Why not? Male pony: I have plenty at home... Applebloom: Are you sure? Male pony: Y-yes, I'm pretty sure- Applebloom: You're "pretty" sure, but you're not absolutely positively completely super-duper sure, are you? Male pony: (pleading) Uh, if I buy some apples, will you PLEASE leave me alone?! Applebloom: All RIGHT! Applejack: You forgot yer change...! (Applebloom whoops) Applebloom: That's how you sell some apples 'n' get a cutie mark! So, what does my cutie mark look like? A shoppin' bag full of apples? A satisfied customer eating an apple? Hmm...Maybe I gotta increase my sales figures first. (thr*at) YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT! (sweetly) We take cash or credit. Applejack: I'm sorry, ma'am. ...Ma'am! (sighs) Now Applebloom, you can't just- (apples pour into bag) Applebloom: That'll be four bits. Pony: I didn't put those in my bag. Applebloom: Likely story. Four bits, lady- Mmph! Applejack: APPLEBLOOM! I'm really, really sorry 'bout that! She's new. Here, take these. No charge. ...and these...and these. (pony grunts) (bags dragging on ground) Y'all come back now, y'hear? Applebloom: (oblivious) What? Applejack: Sorry, li'l sis, but yer apple sellin' days are over. (apron snaps) Applebloom: What?! But how else am I gonna get my cutie mark? Applejack: (sternly) Home. Now. (Applebloom spits, pouts) Applejack: (sighs) Listen, sugarcube. I know it's hard to wait for your very own cutie mark. But you just can't force it. Besides, you're not that grown-up just yet. Ain't there other fillies in yer class without one? Applebloom: Well...Twist doesn't have hers yet. Applejack: D'you think you'd feel better if you went to the party with her? Applebloom: Mm-hmm. Applejack: Well, there ya go! Bet you and Twist will have a great time together. Now, run along and find yer friend. Applebloom: You're sure you don't want me t'stick around 'til the end o'market? Pony with muttonchops: HEY! Who's been using my racket?! Applejack: Yeah. I'm sure. (knocking) Twist: (opens door) Oh. What's up, Applebloom? Applebloom: So, I was thinkin'... Maybe we should go to Diamond Tiara's cute-ceañera together. I don't have a cutie mark; you don't have a cutie mark... Twist: (nervously) Well, um... (opens door) (Applebloom gasps) Twist: Isn't my cutie mark swell?! I've always loved making my own favorite sweets, but it took me some time to discover that it was my super-special talent! Pretty sweet, huh? Applebloom: (dejected) Yeah...pretty...sweet. Twist: Hey...this doesn't mean we can't go to the cute-ceañera together. You're still gonna come to the party, aren't you? Tiara: Of course she will. Silver Spoon: It's not like being the only pony there without a cutie mark will be, like, the most embarrassing thing EVER. (Tiara and Silver Spoon laugh mockingly) Rainbow Dash: Whoa...looks like somepony has a dark cloud hangin' over their head. Let ME do somethin' about that. What's the matter, kid? Applebloom: (inhales sharply, speaks rapidly) There's a cute-ceañera this afternoon and everypony in my class will be there and they'll all have their cutie marks and I wanna get my cutie mark but I'm no good at sellin' apples but I really wanna go to the party but how can I go to the party if I don't have my cutie mark which my big sister says I'm gonna get eventually but... (whining loudly) I WANT IT NOOOW! Rainbow Dash: ...Cutie mark? I can get you a cutie mark like THAT. (snaps tail) Applebloom: Applejack says these things take time. I have to just wait for it to happen. Rainbow Dash: Why WAIT for something to happen when you can MAKE it happen? Applebloom: But Applejack says th- Rainbow Dash: Hey, who are you gonna listen to? Applejack, or the pony that was FIRST in her class to get a cutie mark? I always liked flyin' and all, but I was goin' nowhere in a hurry. It wasn't until my very first race that I discovered a serious need for speed, and KAZAAM! This sweet baby appeared, fast as lightning. (zoom) (Applebloom grunting) Rainbow Dash: That's right, stretch out those legs. Gotta be nice and loose. The key here is to try as many things as possible as quickly as possible. One of them is BOUND to lead to your cutie mark. Rainbow Dash: So, are you ready? Applebloom: I'm ready! Rainbow Dash: I said, ARE YOU READY?! Applebloom: I'm READY! Rainbow Dash: Juggling. Go! (blows whistle) (balls whoosh through air) (Applebloom slips and yelps) Hang gliding. Go! (blows whistle) Applebloom: Whoooa! (glider scrapes along dirt) Rainbow Dash: Karate. Go! (blows whistle) Applebloom: (kiai) Hiiiii-ya! (gong sound, crash) Rainbow Dash: Kite-flying. Go! (blows whistle) (sound of plane spiraling out of control and crashing) Rainbow Dash: Ultrapony Roller Derby! Go! (ponies skating) (ponies growl) Applebloom: (yelps, rolls) Whoa! (brakes squeal, crash) Rainbow Dash: Tried that one...tried that one...tried that one... (pony chatter approaching) Silver Spoon: Your new outfit is, like, PERFECT for the party. (Applebloom gasps) Tiara: I know. It totally shows off my new cutie mark. Silver Spoon: I love being special. Tiara: Can you imagine how embarrassing it must be to be...NOT special? Silver Spoon: (scoffs) I don't even want to, like, THINK about it. Rainbow Dash: ...tried that one...tried that one... Applebloom: I'm doomed! DOOMED! I'll never find somethin' I'm good at! Pinkie Pie: You look like you'd be good at eating cupcakes. Applebloom: (perks up) Eatin' cupcakes? Rainbow Dash: (confused) ...Eating cupcakes? Pinkie Pie: (singsong) Eating cupca~akes! Applebloom: I really appreciate all yer help, Rainbow Dash. You're a really great coach and I really learned a lot from you and I'm sure I can learn a lot more, but... I got some CUPCAKES t'eat! See you at cute-ceañera! Hold on, Pinkie Pie! I'm comin'! I can't believe I didn't think o'this. A cupcake-eatin' cutie mark. It's soooo obvious. (opens cabinet) Now, where are those cupcakes? (opens oven) I'm ready t'CHOW DOWN! Pinkie Pie: I don't have any cupcakes. Applebloom: ...Oh. Pinkie Pie: (gasps) But you look like you'd be good at helping me MAKE SOME! Applebloom: (uncertainly) I guess a...MAKIN' cupcakes cutie mark could work too... Pinkie Pie: (singing) All you have to do is take a cup of flour Add it to the mix Now just take a little something sweet, not sour A bit of salt, just a pinch Baking these treats is such a cinch Add a teaspoon of vanilla Add a little more, and you count to four And you never get your fill-a Cupcakes, so sweet and tasty Cupcakes, don't be too hasty Cupcakes - cupcakes, cupcakes, CUPCAKES! (song ends) (mixer humming, dough splatting) (flour crashes to ground) (Applebloom coughs) Applebloom: (frantic) HOT! HOT! HOT! Pinkie Pie: Oh! Those look much better than the last batch! (chomps, chews noisily, cupcake breaks as if brittle) (Applebloom joins in chewing, spits out, gags) Applebloom: (distraught) Guess I'm not cut out t'be a baker, either. (pouts) I just have to face it. (tearing up) I'm gonna have a blank flank forever! Pinkie Pie: What about that? Applebloom: What about what? Is there somethin' on my flank? Is there? Is there? Is there? (gasp) A cutie mark! It's a...a measuring cup? No...a mixing bowl? No...are those cupcakes? A tower of cupcakes, maybe. Pinkie Pie: (blows) Flour! It's flour! Yay! I guessed it! What game d'you wanna play next? (excited prattling) Please say bingo, please say bingo! Twilight: Whoa...what's been going on in here? Pinkie Pie: We've been making cupcakes! Wanna try them? Twilight: (hesitantly) No...thank you...not that they don't look... (weak chuckle) delicious. Applebloom: Twilight! Y'have t'help me! Twilight: What's the matter? (Applebloom inhales sharply) Applebloom: (extremely rapidly) Tiara's cute-ceañera's today and everypony in my class will be there and they all have cutie marks and I want to get my cutie mark but I'm no good at selling apples or hang-gliding or making cupcakes, but I wanna go to the party but how can I go to the party if I don't have my cutie mark, which Pinkie Pie says I can't just make appear, but I need it to appear! (whiny) RIGHT NOOOW! Twilight: Uh...I don't follow. How could I help you? Applebloom: You can use yer magic t'make my cutie mark appear! Twilight: Oh, no, Applebloom. A cutie mark is something that a pony has to discover for herself. Applebloom: (pleading) Please, Twilight! Just try! Twilight: I'm sorry, but- Applebloom: Oh, pleasepleasepleaseplease PLEEEASE! Twilight: All right! All right! Applebloom: Oh, thank you thank you THANK YOU! (magical humming, poof) Applebloom: Yay! I knew you could do...(crestfallen) it. Twilight: I'm sorry, sweetie, but I told you- Applebloom: Try again! Try again! (Twilight sighs) (humming, repeated poofs) (Applebloom gasps) Twilight: Told you that not even magic can make a cutie mark appear before its time! Applebloom: (frustrated) It's hopeless. Hopeless! I just won't go to the party. Applebloom: (frustrated) It's hopeless. Hopeless! I just won't go to the party. I can't go. Everyone'll just laugh at me and make fun of me and call me names. It'll be the worst night o'my life! Twilight: (comforting) I'm sure it won't be as bad as all that... Applebloom: Ferget it. There's no way I'm goin' to that... (gulps, meekly) party... (ponies chattering) (pony spits out cupcake) Applebloom: (to self) How could I have forgotten the time?! How could I have forgotten Pinkie Pie was hostin' the party?! How could I have forgotten it was at Sugar Cube Corner?! Pinkie Pie: Don't forget your party hat, Forgetty Forgetterson! Applebloom: I have to get out of here before anypony sees me... (Snails chomps cake loudly) Tiara: Hey! (Snails swallows) (spoiled tone) It's MY cute-ceañera. I'M supposed to get the first bite of cake! (balloons popping) Applebloom: (to self) Okay, Applebloom...almost there... (table creaks, "sneaking" sounds) (loud slurp) (sneaking sounds) Applejack: Applebloom! You made it! After I heard about Twist, I was afraid you wouldn't show up. Sure am glad ya came t'yer senses 'bout this whole cutie mark thing. These things happen when they're supposed t'happen. Tryin' to rush 'em just drives ya crazy. I'll let you be. Looks like yer friends wanna talk t'you. (Applebloom grunts, tightens tablecloth) Tiara: (haughty) Well, well, well. Look who's here. Silver Spoon: (mocking) Nice outfit. Applebloom: (stalling) Just somethin' I, uh...put together last minute. Tiara: It really shows off your cutie mark- oh wait, that's right, you don't have one. Applebloom: Uh, I have a cutie mark. Silver Spoon: ...What?! Since when?! Applebloom: Since...um...earlier today! Tiara: Oh, really? Let's see it. Applebloom: (nervously) ...I shouldn't. I couldn't. My cutie mark is so unbelievably amazing, I'm afraid that if I show it off, everyone will start paying attention to me instead of you. Outshined at yer own cute-ceañera? Can you imagine how embarrassin' that would be? Tiara: Uh...forget it. I didn't really wanna see it anyway. Applebloom: Okay! Well, I'm gonna go mingle. Enjoy yer party! (Applebloom sighs with relief) (fabric stretches, snaps back) (record scratches, ponies stop chattering) (ponies gasp) (Tiara laughing) Applebloom: Oh no... Silver Spoon: (snobbish) Wow, that IS an amazing cutie mark. (Tiara and Silver Spoon laugh) Tiara: Nice try... Both: BLANK FLANK! (both laugh) Scootaloo: You got a problem with blank flanks?! (ponies gasp) Scootaloo: I said, you got a problem with blank flanks?! Silver Spoon: The problem is, I mean, she's, like, totally not special. Sweetie Belle: No, it means she's full of potential. Scootaloo: It means she could be great at ANYTHING. The possibilities are (imitating Silver Spoon) "like, ENDLESS." Sweetie Belle: She could be a great scientist, or an amazing artist, or a famous writer. She could even be mayor of Ponyville someday! Scootaloo: And she's not stuck being stuck-up like you two. (ponies laughing) Tiara: Hey! This is my party! Why are you two on HER side? Scootaloo: Because... (Applebloom gasps) Applebloom: You don't have yer cutie marks either?! I thought I was the only one. Scootaloo: We thought we were the only two. Twilight: I, for one, think you are three very lucky fillies. Tiara: Lucky?! How can THEY be lucky? Twilight: They still get to experience the thrill of discovering who they are, and what they're meant to be. Applejack: And they got all the time in the world to figure it out, not just an afternoon. (ponies chatter) Grey pony: Wow, Applebloom! I wish I could be a scientist! Pink pony: (at same time) Do you really think you could be mayor? Pony: Maybe I got my cutie mark too soon. (ponies chatter) Tiara: Hey, what's everypony doing? This is my party. Everypony is supposed to be paying attention to ME! Silver Spoon: (sucking up) Whatever. We still think you're losers, right Diamond Tiara? Silver Spoon: Bump, bump...sugar...lump? Tiara: Not now, Silver Spoon. (ponies chattering) Scootaloo: Name's Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle: And I'm Sweetie Belle. Applebloom: Applebloom! (party music) Twist: This song is SO SUPER! Applebloom: So, I was thinkin', now that we're friends... I mean, we are friends, right? Scootaloo: How could we not be? We're totally alike. We don't have cutie marks, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon drive us crazy... Sweetie Belle: TOTALLY crazy! (all three giggle) Applebloom: Well, now that we're friends, what if the three of us work together to find out who we are and what we're supposed to be? Sweetie Belle: Ooh! Ooh! We could form our own secret society! Scootaloo: I'm likin' this idea! Applebloom: A secret society! Yeah! We need a name for it, though. Scootaloo: The Cutie Mark Three? Sweetie Belle: The Cute-tastically Fantastics? Applebloom: How about...The Cutie Mark Crusaders? Scootaloo: It's PERFECT! Sweetie Belle: This is gonna be so great! Applebloom: We're gonna be UNSTOPPABLE! Scootaloo: What do you say we celebrate with some of these delicious cupcakes? Applebloom: NOT the cupcakes! Trust me. Sweetie Belle: Let's see if there are any cookies! Applebloom: Yeah! Come on! Twilight: (voice-over) "Dear Princess Celestia, I am happy to report that one of your youngest subjects has learned a valuable lesson about friendship. Sometimes, the thing you think will cause you to lose friends and feel left out..." Celestia: (reading) "...can actually be the thing that helps you make your closest friends and realize how special you are." Hmm. (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x12 - Call of the Cutie"}	foreverdreaming
(Rainbow Dash grunts) (thud) Rainbow Dash: Woo-hoo! Applejack: Hoo-wee! Applejack: Not a bad pitch fer a pony who works with her head in th'clouds. Rainbow Dash: Oh yeah? Think you can do better, cowgirl? Applejack: I know I can. Oh, for Pete's sake... Rainbow Dash: (gloating) Ha, looks like this pegasus can pitch better than the workhorse. (Applejack winces) The object of the game is to get the CLOSEST to the stake. Applejack: All right, all right. Ya got another throw there, pony girl. (Rainbow Dash grunts) (distant crash) Applejack: Wow, Rainbow. You couldn't ht a barn door with that kind of a throw. Rainbow Dash: (dismissive) Yeah, yeah. I still have the closest throw, "Applesmack." [Applejack] (kicks horseshoe) Just try and bat it. (Applejack grunts) (metallic clink) Applejack: YEE-HAW! It's a ringer! That's how we do it down here on th'farm. Rainbow Dash: (in denial) I lost. Applejack: Now, don't feel bad, Rainbow. It's all in good fun. Rainbow Dash: (brooding) I HATE losing. Applejack: Besides, yer a mighty good athlete. I'm just better. (chuckles to self) Rainbow Dash: All right, Applejack. You think YOU'RE the top athlete in all of Ponyville? Applejack: (boastful) Well, I WAS gonna say in all of Equestria, but that might be gildin' the lily. Rainbow Dash: ...And I think I'M the top athlete. So...let's prove it. Applejack: Prove what...? Rainbow Dash: I challenge you to an Iron Pony competition. A series of athletic contests to decide who's the best...once and for all. Applejack: ...You know what, Rainbow? Yer ON. (both spit on hooves) (brohoof) (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends (Rainbow Dash grunts and stretches) Applejack: See, we've set up a bunch of events t'see which one of us is- Rainbow Dash: (straining) The most athletic pony ever! (grunts) Twilight: ...And I'm here to...? Rainbow Dash: Uh...I dunno. Why IS she here? Applejack: T'be our judge and keep score. Rainbow Dash: Right. SOMEPONY'S gotta record my awesomeness for the history books! (Rainbow Dash grunts) Spike: (projecting voice) Hello, everypony, and welcome to the First Annual Iron Pony Competition! Twilight: Uh, Spike? Who are you talking to? Spike: Uh...them! Let the games BEGIN! (ponies cheer) Twilight: Ready...set...go! (zoom) (Applejack gasps) (barrel wobbles) Applejack: Dagnabbit. Twilight: Time, Spike? Spike: 17 seconds. Applejack: Yer kiddin'! That breaks my record from last year's rodeo! Spike: But...you get a five second penalty for nudging the barrel. Applejack: (sighs, kicks rock) Nuts'n'shrews. Still, that's 22 seconds. Not too shabby. Hey. Don't be nervous. Remember, it's all in good fun. Now git on up there. Twilight: Ready, set, go! Applejack: Whoo! That was some fancy hoofwork there, Rainbow. Rainbow Dash: (panting) Thanks, but I couldn't have been as fast as you. Applejack: What was the time on that, Spike? Spike: 18 seconds! Applejack: 18 seconds?! Rainbow, are you sure you're not secretly a rodeo pony? Twilight: Rainbow Dash wins the barrel weave! Rainbow Dash: Can't believe I won! Applejack: Yeah, well, don't you go gettin' used to it. (Rainbow Dash kicks target, bell rings, ponies cheer) Applejack: Mighty respectable, (spits) but lemme show ya how it's REALLY done. (Applejack grunts, shatters target, bell dings) (ponies cheer, bell whooshes as it flies through air) Applejack: Years of applebuckin'. (kicks tree) (apples thud to the tune of Shave and a Haircut, bell dings) (Granny Smith cheers feebly, Applebloom cheers loudly) Big Mac: Ee-yup. Spike: (with dread) Why me...?! Twilight: GO! Spike: Whoa! Whoooa! Whooooa! Whoa! WHOOOOOA! (crashes) Spike: ...Ouch. Rainbow Dash: Ready for another pony ride? Spike: (fearfully) No... Twilight: GO! (Spike mimics jackhammer, screams) Twilight: Rainbow Dash wins the bronco buck! Spike: (crashes, grunts) And I lose... (ponies cheer, rope whooshes through air) (Applejack's rope twirls rapidly and consistently) (Spike yelps, grunts) Spike: How do I get roped into these things?! Rainbow Dash: (grunting) ...Does this count? (Applejack grunts repeatedly, crashes to ground) (ponies cheer) (Rainbow Dash grunts) (thud, Rainbow Dash raspberries) (projectile whizzes through air, thud, ponies cheer) (Applejack grunts, yelps) (Rainbow Dash grunts, Applejack kicks) (ponies gasp, Fluttershy gasps, number crashes into board) Spike: (projecting voice) Fillies and gentlecolts! At the halfway point, our competitors are tied at 5 and 5! (poof) Twilight: Who are you talking to?! Spike: THEM! (Twilight gasps) (crowd cheering) Twilight: 95...96...97... (Applejack straining) 98... (Rainbow Dash straining) 99... (both straining) ...a hundred! Rainbow Dash: Yes! (Applejack crashes to ground, grunts) (bell dings) Applejack: (to self) Be a good sport, Applejack... (Applejack grunts) (Rainbow Dash grunts) (Rainbow Dash gasps) (brakes squeal) (bell dings) (chickens clucking) (chicks chirping) (mud sloshing) (Applejack gasps) Twilight: All right, you two. This is the final event. Give it all you've got. (Applejack straining, Rainbow Dash grunts) Spike: (projecting voice) Looks like the workhorse might come out ahead in this one! (Applejack grunts) Applejack: (mouth full) That's not fair! Y'can'd use yer wings t'help ya win! Rainbow Dash: (mouth full) Huh?! Applejack: (mouth full, accusatory) You're cheadin'! Rainbow Dash: (mouth full) I can'd understand you wid dat rope in your mouth! Applejack: I said...uh oh. (Applejack grunts, ponies cheer) Rainbow Dash: WOO-HOO! I win by a landslide. Or..."mudslide," in your case. (Rainbow Dash chuckles) I AM THE IRON PONY! Applejack: Only 'cuz ya cheated! Rainbow Dash: What?! Applejack: You used your wingpower to help you win over half those contests! Rainbow Dash: (dismissive) Sounds like sour apples to me. Applejack: Are you sayin' you DIDN'T use yer wings? Rainbow Dash: (hesitantly) Well...no... (defensively) But you never said I COULDN'T use my wings! Applejack: I didn't think I NEEDED t'tell ya t'play FAIR! Rainbow Dash: (indignant) I still would have won even without my wings! Applejack: (scoffs) Prove it! Rainbow Dash: Gladly. How? Applejack: Tomorrow's the annual Runnin' of the Leaves. I challenge you t'race me in it. Rainbow Dash: (dismissive scoff) Easy-shmeasy. Applejack: Hold on! (Rainbow Dash grunts) There is one condition. The point is to RUN, so no wings allowed. Rainbow Dash: No wings? (Applejack grunts) No problem! (Applejack spits into hoof) (Rainbow Dash spits into hoof) (brohoof) (Rainbow Dash raspberries) (both chuckle then abruptly stop) Spike: Twilight, hurry up! We're gonna be late for the race! Twilight: Why are YOU so excited about the race? It's only for ponies. Spike: Yeah, but I'm hoping I can be the announcer again. Just listen: Fillies and gentlecolts, Spike: (drowned out) Welcome to the annual running- Pinkie Pie: (amplified) Welcome to the annual Running of the Leaves! This is Pinkie Pie, your official eye in the sky announcer! Twilight: Sorry, Spike. I guess that job's already taken. Pinkie Pie: As everypony knows, the running is a very important tradition, for without it, the autumn leaves of Equestria would never fall. So get ready, ponies. The Running of the Leaves will begin in five minutes! (ponies chattering and stretching) (Applejack grunting) Rainbow Dash: (gloating) Pardon me. Excuse me. Make way for the Iron Pony. Applejack: The "Iron PHONY," y'mean. Rainbow Dash: So, Applejack, you ready to win SECOND place? Applejack: I'm ready to run a good, CLEAN race. Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah. Applejack: You are NOT allowed to use yer wings! Rainbow Dash: I could win this race with both wings tied behind my back. (Applejack strains, rope tightens) Applejack: Trussed up like a turkey. Well, a turkey who can't fly, that is. Rainbow Dash: Very funny. Applejack: At least now we know we're racin' fair'n'square. Spike: Um...Pinkie Pie? (trumpets playing Call to Post) Pinkie Pie: Hey, Spike! What's up? (trumpets playing Call to Post) Oh wait, it's me! I'm up! (giggles) Spike: Uh, yeah...I know you're doing the announcing today and stuff, and... I'm sure you're gonna do a great job and all but... Spike: I was just wondering... Pinkie Pie: (sweetly) What? Spike: (dejected) Aw...forget it... Pinkie Pie: Spike! Would you like to be my co-reporter? We could comment on the action TOGETHER! Spike: We could?! Pinkie Pie: Climb on up! (poof) Applejack: Twilight?! What in tarnation are you doin' up here? Twilight: I'm racing! (Rainbow Dash bursts into uncontrollable laughter) Rainbow Dash: (derisively) Good one, Twilight! (Rainbow Dash laughing) Twilight: I'm not joking. Rainbow Dash: What?! You're not an ATHLETE, you're a... well...you're an egghead. Twilight: I am not an "egghead!" I am well-read. Rainbow Dash: (whispers) Egghead! Applejack: (snickers) But...have you ever run a race? (Rainbow Dash and Applejack snickering) Twilight: Well...no. But I do know a lot about running! Rainbow Dash: And you know this from...? (Rainbow Dash and Applejack snickering) Twilight: Books! I've read several on the subject. Rainbow Dash: (bursts out laughing) What'd you read?! "The Egghead's Guide to Running?" (stammering from laughter) Did...did...did you stretch out your eye muscles to warm up? (guffawing, crying while laughing) Get it?! "Eye muscles?!" Twilight: Scoff if you must, Rainbow. But the Running of the Leaves is a Ponyville tradition, and since I'm here to learn, I've decided I shall experience it myself. Applejack: Well, I think that's just dandy, Twilight. Good luck. (Applejack snickers) Rainbow Dash: Yeah...see you at the finish line. ...tomorrow. (Rainbow Dash and Applejack laugh) Pinkie Pie: All right, ponies! ARE YOU READY? Spike: Get set! (drumroll) (bell rings) Pinkie Pie: Aaaand they're off! Welcome to the official coverage of the Running of the Leaves! You know, Spike, despite its name, the leaves don't do any of the actual running. No, that's left to "My Little Ponies." Spike: (dumbstruck) Why...yes, Pinkie. It's the running of the ponies that causes the leaves to fall! Pinkie Pie: Ugh. Those lazy, LAZY leaves. But this year, the run is about more than the weather. It's about the race to the finish and the two runners who want to win it: Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Spike: You know, Pinkie, these two ponies have a bit of a grudge match they're trying to settle. Trying to prove who's the most athletic. Pinkie Pie: Yes, and "grudge" rhymes with "fudge." Spike: Yes, it...does...what? Pinkie Pie: And I like fudge. But if I eat too much fudge, I get a pudge, and then I can't budge. Spike: (confused silence) So...no fudge...? Pinkie Pie: Oh, no thanks. I had a big breakfast. Let's check in with our two competitive ponies, Applejack and Rainbow Dash! (rapid, racetrack announcer style) Having come fast out of the gate, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are evenly matched running neck-and-neck. But what's this? Applejack is making a move; she's now ahead by a nose. But Rainbow Dash won't let Applejack have it and takes the lead! SHE'S ahead by half a nose! Or maybe three-quarters of a nose. No, about 63.7% of a nose! (sheepishly) ...Roughly speaking. Applejack sees this move and pushes forth with her strong workhorse legs, slinking ahead by 350 noses! Applejack: (under breath) Not so easy without wings, is it? Rainbow Dash: (to self) Come on, Rainbow! Show 'em a little "Dash!" Spike: Ho-hooold yer horses, Pinkie! Rainbow Dash is catching up to the frontrunner, Applejack! Pinkie Pie: What an UPSET! I thought Applejack had this in the bag! Rainbow Dash: You didn't think I was gonna let you off THAT easy, did you?! (hoof catches on rock) Applejack: Whooooa! (crashes into ground) (approaching rumble) (rumble fades into distance) Applejack: (panting) I don't believe it. Twilight: I know! It's beautiful, isn't it? Applejack: (exasperated) Not the SCENERY, Twilight! Rainbow Dash just tripped me! Twilight: She did not. Applejack: She did too! Twilight: She did not, and if you slowed down and looked where you're going, like me, you'd see that you tripped over a rock! Applejack: What?! Aw, hayseed! Now I got a lotta ground t'make up to catch Rainbow! Twilight: (cheerily) Just be careful! (Rainbow Dash sighs softly) Applejack: See you at the finish line! Spike: I don't believe it! After a huge setback, Applejack is back at the front of the pack! Pinkie Pie: (rapid, chaotic) She's the head of the pack, all right! The pick of the litter! THE CAT'S PAJAMAS! Oh, wait...why would Applejack take some poor kitty's PJ's? That's not very sporting of her! Spike: (confused) Ooookay...let's get back to the race. Rainbow Dash: Not so fast, Applejack! This race isn't over yet! Applejack: It is for you. Heh. Rainbow Dash: (trips) Whoooa! (crashes into ground and grunts) (racers rumble past) Rainbow Dash: (scoffs) I don't believe it. Applejack tripped me! Twilight: Don't you ponies ever look where you're going? You tripped on a stump. See? Rainbow Dash: Oh, I see. A big cheater is what I see. Twilight: Rainbow, Applejack would never cheat. It was just an accident. Rainbow Dash: (sarcastic) Sure it was. (false sincerity) I mean, yeah, I'm sure it was. Twilight: Remember, Rainbow. This is just a game. Rainbow Dash: (under breath) Yes, but the rules have changed, and two can play at that game. (waterfall flowing) Pinkie Pie: Welcome back, Ponyvillians! It's me, Pinkie Pie! Spike: And Spike. Looks like Rainbow's doing her best to catch up. Pinkie Pie: I'm not sure how ketchup [catch up] is gonna help her in this contest. Now, in a hot dog eating contest, it can make them doggies nice and slippery, but personally I prefer mustard. How about you, Spike? Spike: (hesitantly) Uh...I like...pickles? Pinkie Pie: Aaaand it looks like Applejack has found HERSELF in quite a "pickle" as Rainbow overtakes her! Rainbow Dash: (taunting) Look Ma, no wings! Spike: As the racers enter Equestria's Whitetail Wood, Rainbow Dash is back in the lead. (Rainbow Dash chuckles, grabs branch) (Applejack gasps, branch snaps back and impacts, Applejack grunts and crashes into ground) Applejack: (spits) Hey! Rainbow! (Rainbow Dash blows raspberry) Applejack: (gasps) Why, that little cheater did that on purpose! It's ON. (branch creaks, snaps forward) Rainbow Dash: (to self) Nice one, Rainbow. Applejack: Later! (Applejack whooshes past, Rainbow Dash growls in frustration) (bees buzzing) (Applejack kicks tree) (bees buzzing) (Rainbow Dash gasps, screams) (Rainbow Dash grunts) (bees buzzing) (Rainbow Dash spins sign around) (Rainbow Dash guffaws, racers rumble past) Twilight: Oh, my! Whitetail Wood is just lovely! (Rainbow Dash frantically flips sign around) Twilight: Hey, Rainbow. Shouldn't you be up ahead? Rainbow Dash: (chuckles) I'm sure to win now. Twilight: ...Except that all the other racers just passed you. Rainbow Dash: Oh, horse apples...SEE YA! Pinkie Pie: Applejack? What are you doing up here? Spike: There aren't even any trees! Applejack: Er, no, but the signs pointed this way... ...Rainbow. Mind givin' me a lift? Rainbow Dash: What the hay?! You said no flying! Applejack: No, I said no wings. Pinkie Pie: I must say, Spike, that this has been the most interesting Running of the Leaves in Equestria's history! Spike: (under breath, into microphone) With the most interesting announcing... (Applejack kicks bucket, metallic thuds, sap pours out) Pinkie Pie: But it's not the running that's been fascinating. It's the LACK of running! (Rainbow Dash grunts, sap stretches) (racers rumble past) (sap stretching, Rainbow Dash straining) (Rainbow Dash screams) (sap tensing) (sap snaps back, breaks off, Rainbow Dash whooshes) Applejack: (spinning) Whooooooa! Rainbow Dash: (spinning) Whoooa! (both screaming, crash into cliff face) (rock cracking) (both yelp) (rock scrapes cliff face, both scream) Twilight: Forgive me, girls. I know I'm not an athlete, but shouldn't the Running of the Leaves actually involve running? Rainbow Dash: Y'know...I think Twilight's right. Applejack: Y'do? Rainbow Dash: Yeah. If you wanna bat me, you'd better...RUUUN! Pinkie Pie: (rapid announcer voice) Once again, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are neck-and-neck, jockeying for position. Applejack inches ahead, now Rainbow, it's Applejack, it's Rainbow Dash, it's Applejack- (ponies cheering) (Applejack grunts) Spike: Oh no she di'int! (Rainbow Dash grunts) Pinkie Pie: Oh yes she di'id! (Applejack grunts) Applejack: Cut it out! Rainbow Dash: No, YOU cut it out! Applejack: You started it. Rainbow Dash: And now, I'm gonna finish it! Applejack: Oh no you won't! (chomps tail) (Rainbow Dash grunts) Rainbow Dash: Oh yes I will! (Applejack grunts) (Applejack chomps rope) Rainbow Dash: That's it! All bets are off! Applejack: Oh no you DON'T! (both grunt) (crash) (both scuffling and grunting) Pinkie Pie: It's Applejack, it's Rainbow Dash, it's Applejack, it's Rainbow Dash- (both crash) Rainbow Dash: (pants) I won! Applejack: No, I won! Rainbow Dash: I won! Spike: You tied! Both: TIED?! Applejack: For first...? Pinkie Pie: For last! Applejack: Last?! Rainbow Dash: Then...who won?! Both: YOU?! Twilight: Oh, no. But I did get 5th place, which is rather good considering I've never run a race before. Applejack: What?! How's that even possible? Rainbow Dash: You ran so slow! And you looked at the scenery! Twilight: Exactly! I paced myself, just like my book said. Then at the end, when all the other ponies were worn out, (ponies moan) I sprinted to the finish. Rainbow Dash: I don't believe it. TWILIGHT bat us! Twilight: Well, with all your horsing around, it was quite easy. Applejack: (sighs) Yer right, Twilight. Our behavior was just terrible. Rainbow Dash: We weren't very good sports. (ponies gasp) Celestia: Sounds to me like an important lesson was learned. Applejack and Rainbow Dash: Princess Celestia?! Applejack: What're you doin' here? Celestia: Fall is one of my favorite seasons, so I came to celebrate the Running of the Leaves. Applejack: I'm sorry ya had t'see us bein' such poor sports, Princess. Celestia: That's all right, Applejack. Anypony can get swept up in the excitement of competition. Twilight: It's important to remember that the friendship is always more important than the competition. Celestia: Exactly, Twilight. Now, unfortunately, because the two of you were busy tricking each other instead of shaking down leaves, many of the lovely trees in Equestria are still covered. Applejack: Why, Princess, I bet we can knock those leaves down fer ya lickety-split. Whaddya say, friend? Wanna go fer another run? Rainbow Dash: I'd love to stretch my legs. (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x13 - Fall Weather Friends"}	foreverdreaming
Rainbow Dash: Now, what have we learned? Fluttershy: Lots of control. Rainbow Dash: Good. Fluttershy: Screaming and hollering. Rainbow Dash: Yes, and most importantly? Fluttershy: Passion. Rainbow Dash: Right! So now that you know the elements of a good cheer, let's hear one. Fluttershy: (inhales, speaks softly) Yay. Rainbow Dash: (groans) You're gonna cheer for me like THAT? Louder. Fluttershy: (same volume) Yay. Rainbow Dash: Louder! Fluttershy: (same volume) Yay. Rainbow Dash: (screaming, voice echoing) LOUDER! Fluttershy: (inhales sharply, same volume) Yaaay. (Rainbow Dash groans and falls over) Fluttershy: ...Too loud? (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends Fluttershy: (softly) Yay. (Rainbow Dash inhales deeply, cloud produces springboard noise) (drum intro) (air whooshing loudly) (driving rock) Rainbow Dash: And now, phase of my routine. (oscillating whooshes as Rainbow Dash passes between trees) Fluttershy: (softly) Wooo. Rainbow Dash: (whooshes past) Phase two. (whooshing (music intensity building) Fluttershy: (softly) Way to go. (rhythm guitar) Rainbow Dash: Here we go. Phase three: the Sonic Rainboom. (whooshing) (drum solo) (electric guitar building in tempo, pitch, and volume) (air screaming, increasing in pitch and volume) Rainbow Dash: Come on...! (air screaming, increasing in pitch and volume) (air screaming, increasing in pitch and volume, Rainbow Dash grunting) Twilight: (sighs with relief) Last one. Thank you SO much for helping me clean up all these books, guys. It was a CRAZY weekend of studying. (Rainbow Dash screaming, approaching whoosh of air) (crash, Rainbow Dash yelps) (ponies groan in turn) Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash! You rock! (same volume) Woohoo. (gasps) Did my cheering do that? Rainbow Dash: (grunts, chuckles) Sorry about that, ladies. That was a truly feeble performance. Fluttershy: Actually, it wasn't that bad. I particularly liked it when you made the clouds spin. Rainbow Dash: Ugh. I'm not talking about MY performance, I'm talking about YOURS! That feeble cheering! Twilight: What are you two arguing about? Fluttershy: Were we arguing? I'm sorry. Rainbow Dash: (groans) I wish YOU guys could come to Cloudsdale to see me compete in the Best Young Flier Competition! Twilight: What's that? Pinkie Pie: It's where all the greatest pegasus fliers get together and show off their different flying styles! Some are fast! (imitates car engine revving and Doppler effect) Some are graceful-whoa, whoa, whoa! (screams, crashes into ground) Applejack: Golly, I'd love t'see ya strut yer stuff in that competition. Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I wish you guys could be there. Fluttershy's a great support, but her cheering isn't exactly inspirational. Pinkie Pie: (crashing out of books, talking rapidly) OOH! I'd love to see you make a Sonic Rainboom! It's like, the most coolest thing ever! Even though I've never actually seen it, but I mean COME ON! It's a Sonic Rainboom! How NOT cool could it possibly NOT be?! Twilight: What's a "Sonic Rainboom?" Pinkie Pie: (condescending) You really need to get out more. The Sonic Rainboom is legendary! When a pegasus like Rainbow Dash gets going so fast... (crashes into books) BOOM! A sonic boom and a rainbow can happen all at once! Applejack: And Rainbow Dash here's the only pony to ever pull it off! Rainbow Dash: (sheepishly) It was a long time ago. I was just a filly. Pinkie Pie: Yeah, but you're gonna do it again, right? Rainbow Dash: (false bravado) A-are you kidding? I'm the greatest flier to ever come out of Cloudsdale! I could do Sonic Rainbooms in my sleep. Twilight: Wow. If you pull that off, you'll win the crown for sure! Rainbow Dash: The grand prize is an entire day with the Wonderbolts! (wistfully) A whole day of flying with my lifelong heroes... (gushing) It'll be a dream come true! Fluttershy: (softly) Yay. Rainbow Dash: I'm gonna go rest up. Don't wanna overprepare myself, ya know... (weak chuckle) YOU, on the other hand, better keep practicing. I need a cheering section to match my SPECTACULAR performance. Fluttershy: She's practiced that move a hundred times, and she's never even come CLOSE to doing it. I don't know if I can cheer loud enough to help her. Twilight: ...Well, guess we'd better get this cleaned up. Again. Rarity: Go on, go on! (Twilight yelps) Twilight: "Go on," what? Rarity: Find a spell that will get us wingless ponies into Cloudsdale! Didn't you see how nervous she was?! Applejack: Nervous? Have you spit yer bit or somethin'? She was tootin' her own horn louder than the brass section of a marchin' band. Rarity: Oh, puh-LEEZE. I've put on enough fashion shows to recognize stage fright when I see it. We've got to find a way to be there for her. Now, go ON! (crash) Twilight: (groans) How am I supposed to find a flight spell in this mess?! Pinkie Pie: A flight spell? One sec. Page twenty-seven. Applejack: How'd you do that? Pinkie Pie: It landed on my face when Rainbow Dash knocked me into the bookcase. Twilight: Here it is! A spell that will allow earth ponies to fly for three days! Ooh...it looks really difficult. I'm not sure I can do it. Rarity: You've GOT to try. Twilight: Okay... But who's gonna volunteer to be the test subject? Rarity: I will! For Rainbow Dash, I will go first. Twilight: (nervously) Here goes... (straining) (grunts) (grunts) (orb explodes, Twilight screams) (Applejack gasps) Twilight: (dazed) I think it worked! Rainbow Dash: You've got to learn to be ASSERTIVE, Fluttershy. Don't be afraid to speak up. Billy: Well, well, well. What do we have here? Hoops: It's our old friend, "Rainbow CRASH!" Billy: (derisively) Get kicked out of any flight schools lately? (Billy, Hoops, and Score laugh mockingly) Rainbow Dash: (indignantly) I didn't get kicked out. Billy: Face it, Rainbow CRASH. Flight school had too many rules and not enough naptimes for you. Hoops: Hah, ask her about the "Sonic Rainboom." Billy: (dismissively) That's nothin' but an old mare's tale. You don't have the SKILLS to try somethin' like that. Fluttershy: (normal volume, slightly more assertive) Now, wait just a minute! (meekly) Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to be more assertive. (regains composure) Anyhow, she IS going to do a Sonic Rainboom! Billy: No, she's not, 'cuz there's no such thing! Fluttershy: Then show up at the Cloudasium and see for yourself! (meekly) ...If you're free. (male ponies laughing) Hoops: (through laughter) Yeah, I'll be free. Billy: Oh, don't worry. We'll be there. Hoops: See you then, Rainbow Crash! Fluttershy: (oblivious) Did you see that? I was so assertive! Rainbow Dash: (melancholy sigh) Those guys are right. I'll never be able to do it. Fluttershy: But Rainbow Dash, just because you've failed the Sonic Rainboom a hundred thousand times in practice doesn't mean you won't be able to do it in front of an entire stadium, full of impatient, super-critical sports-fan ponies. (Rainbow Dash screams) Rainbow Dash: (hysterical) What do I do?! Everypony's gonna see me FAIL! The Wonderbolts will NEVER let a loser like me join! Princess Celestia will probably BANISH me to the Everfree Forest! (histrionics) MY LIFE IS RU-INED! Fluttershy: (quizzically) Rare...? Rainbow Dash: "Rare?!" The Sonic Rainboom is WAY more than rare! Fluttershy: Rarity...? Rainbow Dash: Rarity?! Are you FLYING?! Rarity: I most certainly am! Aren't my wings smashing?! Twilight made them for me. I just ADORE them. Why so shocked? We couldn't leave our favorite flier without a BIG cheering section! Rainbow Dash: "We?" Rainbow Dash: I...I can't believe it! Fluttershy: It's incredible! Rainbow Dash: This is so cool! You guys made it! Pinkie Pie: Sure did! Rainbow Dash: WAIT! How'd you do that? Only pegasus ponies can walk on clouds. Pinkie Pie: (giggles) Pretty cool, huh? Twilight: I found a spell that makes temporary wings, but it was too difficult to do more than once. So I found an easier spell that lets the rest of us walk on clouds. Applejack: And we came t'cheer you to victory! Rainbow Dash: To be honest, I was starting to get just a teeniest, tiniest bit nervous. But I feel a LOT better now that you guys are here. Hey, we've got some time before the competition. Why don't Fluttershy and I show you around Cloudsdale? (all voicing agreement) Rainbow Dash: Here it is! The greatest city in the sky! (ponies "ooh" and "aah") Rarity: Oooh! Aaah! Rainbow Dash: Uh... Some of the greatest pegasi in history came from Cloudsdale. Rarity: Oh! Wait for me! (jackhammer pounding) Worker: Those wings are GORGEOUS! Rarity: (flattered) Why, thank you! Twilight: (admonishing) Be careful with those wings, Rarity. They're made from gossamer and morning dew, and they're incredibly delicate. Rarity: (preening) Don't worry, Twilight. I'm sure they can't get worn out from too much attention. Applejack: Since we're up here, I'd sure like t'get a look at where the weather's made. Rainbow Dash: Great idea! Come on, girls! To the weather factory! (peals of thunder) Rainbow Dash: This is where they make the snowflakes. Each one is hoofmade. As you can see, it's a delicate operation. Rarity: (gasps) Ooh, the snowflakes look even better from up here. (wings flapping, wind blwing lightly) (workers yelling frantically) Rainbow Dash: We'd better move on before Rarity ruins winter and causes a drought. Rainbow Dash: And here's where we make the rainbows! (Pinkie Pie licks hoof) (cacophony of random noises, Pinkie Pie pants) Pinkie Pie: (strained) Spicyyyyyy! (Applejack guffawing) Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Rainbows aren't really known for their flavor. Hoops: Whoa! (Rarity's wings flap) Billy: Whoa, where'd you get those amazing wings? I want a pair! Rarity: Hmm...yeah, I guess I could see that. Billy: Oh, hey, look! It's Rainbow Crash again! Hoops: (laughs) Yeah! Rainbow...um... (stumbles over words) ...CRASH! Rainbow Dash: Rarity?! What are you doing talking to THESE guys? Rarity: Oh, they were just admiring my wings, Rainbow Dash. Billy: Yeah, you should forget the Sonic Rainboom and just get yourself some wings like THESE! (Billy, Hoops, and Score laugh derisively) (Rainbow Dash moans dejectedly) Fluttershy: Uhh...c'mon, girls. Why don't we go see how clouds are made? Don't listen to them. You're gonna win that competition for sure. Rainbow Dash: Are you kidding? I can't DO the Sonic Rainboom, and just look at these boring, plain old feathered wings. I'm doomed! (machines puffing clouds) (water pours, machine builds up pressure and vents) (workers chattering at Rarity, Rarity giggling at flattery) Rarity: (ostentatiously) Why, these old things? Go ahead, everypony. Photos ARE encouraged. Twilight: Rarity, we're supposed to be helping Rainbow Dash relax, remember? Put your wings away and stop showing off. Rarity: (dismissively) Oh, pfft. How can you ask me to put away perfection? (ponies "ooh" and "aah" (very ostentatious, self-satisfied laugh) Twilight: (worried) Rainbow Dash, are you okay? You don't look so good. Rainbow Dash: (panting, feigning confidence) Of course! Why wouldn't I be okay? Everyone's so in love with Rarity's wings that they won't even notice when I totally BLOW IT in the Best Young Flier's Competition. Bubble Gabble: Hey! There's an idea! YOU should enter the competition! Old lady pony: Yeah, I could watch you fly all day long! Rarity: (haughtily) There really isn't anypony who uses their wings quite like ME. Perhaps I SHOULD compete. Rainbow Dash: WHAT?! (workers follow Rarity and continue to "ooh" and "aah") Rainbow Dash: (anxious) What am I gonna do? I'll NEVER win the competition now... (ponies cheering, fanfare plays) (ponies cheering) (contestants chattering) (knocks on door) Rarity: (singsong) I'm going to be a while. (harp flourish) (door slams) (Pinkie Pie laughing giddily; Billy, Hoops, and Score laughing derisively) (anxious groan) Announcer: Fillies and gentlecolts! Please rise and join me in welcoming our beloved Princess Celestia! (crowd cheering wildly, fanfare plays) Announcer: Please welcome our celebrity judges for the Best Young Flier Competition: THE WONDERBOLTS! (jets whoosh by) (jet sounds) (fireworks explsi*n) (crowd cheers) And now, let's find out who will take the prize as this year's Best Young Flier! Backstage Manager: (nasal New York accent) Okay, contestant number one, you're up. (Rainbow Dash yelps) Manager: Okay, number two, let's go. Rainbow Dash: (nervously) Um... Manager: Come on, come on, we ain't got all day. Rainbow Dash: Psst, she's talkin' to you! Young male pony: Oh! Uh...I guess that's me! Manager: Okay numbah four, time to go! Rarity: (sweetly) I'm number four, and I need just one more itsy-bitsy minute. Be a dear and have somepony go ahead of me, hmm? Manager: (exasperated) Look, I don't care who it is, but SOMEPONY'S gotta go on. Male pony: (macho) LET'S DO THIS! Rainbow Dash: What am I gonna do?! Twilight: I loved number seven! Doing fifteen barrel rolls in a row can't be easy. Fluttershy: My favorite is number ten. She just looked like such a nice pony. Applejack: Hmm.. Wonder how come we haven't seen Rainbow Dash or Rarity yet? The competition's almost over. Manager: Numbah fifteen, let's go! Rarity: (theatrically) Rarity...is ready. Manager: Look, ladies. I dunno what to tell you. There's only time for one more performance. If you both wanna compete, you'll just have ta go out there togetha. Rarity: Well, Rainbow Dash? Shall we? (Rainbow Dash babbles incoherently) Announcer: And now, for our final competitor of the day, contestant number fifteen! (confused) And, apparently, contestant number four. (crowd cheering) Rarity: (bemused) Good luck, Rainbow Dash. Just do your best. (Rainbow Dash mumbles incoherently) I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of changing our music. That "rock and roll" doesn't really match my wings. (Rainbow Dash gulps) (elegant musical introduction plays) (gentle, elegant waltz) Rainbow Dash: (self-encouragement) Come on, Rainbow Dash. You can do this. Just remember the routine. Phase one. (ponies cheering) (thud, Rainbow Dash grunts) (Rainbow Dash screams, crashes into wall) Hoops: Nice work, Rainbow Crash! (Billy, Hoops, and Score laugh) Rainbow Dash: Time for phase two. (waltz builds in intensity) Fluttershy: Look! Phase two is working! (ponies cheer) (Rainbow Dash grunts) (Celestia gasps) (loud thud) (interlude) Rarity: And now, for my grand finale! I will fly right up to the sun and beam my beautiful wings over the whole city of Cloudsdale! (squeals) They'll be talking about it for YEARS! Rainbow Dash: Looks like this is my last chance to turn things around. Phase three: (voice cracking) the Sonic (gulps) Rainboom. Wings, don't fail me now! (waltz increases in tempo and intensity) (crowd gasps) Rarity: (panting, theatrical) Look upon me, Equestria, for I! AM! RARITY! (crescendo) (crowd "oohs") (waltz ends) (wings burn up) Rarity: Uh-oh. (Rarity screams) Twilight: Oh no! Her wings evaporated into thin air! (Rarity screams) (crowd gasps) (Wonderbolts whoosh past) (Rarity screaming) (Wonderbolt grunts) (other Wonderbolts grunt) Rainbow Dash: Hold on, Rarity! I'm comin'! (suspenseful rock) (Rarity screaming and flailing) Fluttershy: Oh, I can't look... (Rainbow Dash straining, air whooshing loudly) (air whistling) (Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Twilight gasp) (air whistling, pitch ascending) (tempo increases) (air screaming loudly) (sonic boom) (heroic fanfare) (sonic boom reaches audience) Fluttershy: (yelling excitedly) A SONIC RAINBOOM! SHE DID IT! (Fluttershy screaming in frenzied excitement) (supersonic jet whooshes past) Rainbow Dash: Whoa! (crowd cheers raucously) Fluttershy: A SONIC RAINBOOM! WOOO! YEAH! Rainbow Dash: I did it. I did it! Rarity: You sure did. Oh, thank you Rainbow Dash. You saved my life! Rainbow Dash: Oh yeah, I did that too. Ha! BEST DAY EVER! (crowd cheers) Rarity: I want to apologize to all of you for getting so carried away with my... (voice breaks) beautiful wings. I guess I just lost my head. Fluttershy: It's okay. Applejack: Don't worry about it, kiddo. Pinkie Pie: We still love you. Rarity: And I'm especially sorry that I was so thoughtless as to jump into the contest at the last minute after you had worked so hard to win it. Can you ever, EVER forgive me? Rainbow Dash: Aw, it's okay. Everything turned out all right, right? I just wish I could've met the Wonderbolts when they were awake. (Rainbow Dash gasps) (rapid, fangirlish) Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh! Spitfire: So, you're the little pony that saved our lives. We really wanted to meet you and say thanks. Rainbow Dash: (rapid fangirlish squeal) Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh! Twilight: Princess! Celestia: Hello, Twilight Sparkle, and hello to your friends, too. Rarity: (remorseful) Princess Celestia, I am sorry I ruined the competition! Rainbow Dash really is the best flier in Equestria. Celestia: I know she is, my dear. That's why, for her incredible act of bravery and her spectacular Sonic Rainboom, I'm presenting the grand prize for best young flier to this year's winner, Ms. Rainbow Dash! (crowd cheers) (Rainbow Dash repeating "ohmygosh") Celestia: So, Twilight Sparkle, did you learn anything about friendship from this experience? Twilight: I did, Princess, but I think Rarity learned even more than me. Rarity: I certainly did. I learned how important it is to keep your hooves on the ground, and be there for your friends. Celestia: Excellent. Well done, Rarity. Rainbow Dash: This really is the best day EVER! Billy: (subdued) Uh, hey, Rainbow Crash. Hoops: (jabs Billy) "Dash!" Billy: Oh, uh...sorry, Rainbow Dash! Uhh, we just wanted to congratulate you on winning the competition. Hoops: That Sonic Rainboom was AWESOME! Rainbow Dash: Heh. Thanks, guys. Billy: Uh, we're really sorry we gave you such a hard time before. Rainbow Dash: Aw, that's okay. Don't worry about it. Billy: Hey. Do you want to hang out with us? Maybe you could show us how you did that incredible trick! Rainbow Dash: Sorry boys...but I've got plans. (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x16 - Sonic Rainboom"}	foreverdreaming
Rarity: (harried) Where did I put that? Oh, I thought I already- Oh, and can't forget I've got to- (whines) How am I EVER gonna get this done?! Sweetie Belle: Are you sure I can't help? Sweetie Belle: I could- Rarity: (interrupting) No. Sweetie Belle: Maybe just a- Rarity: No thanks. Sweetie Belle: How about- Rarity: Just stand over there. Sweetie Belle: But- Rarity: Where you'll be out of the way. Ribbon...ribbon! Where's the ribbon?! Sweetie Belle: I got it! Sweetie Belle: Whoa! (Rarity gasps) (spool impacts stand) (stand wobbles) (thud) (fabric thumping) (Rarity gasping as objects fly around, objects crashing into each other) (series of loud crashes) Sweetie Belle: (sheepishly) Um, I-I'll just go stand over there, where I'll be...out of the way. (Rarity sighs) (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends Sweetie Belle: Won't you at least let me help you clean up? Rarity: (flatly) No. You've helped me quite enough. Sweetie Belle: I'm sorry, sis. I just thought that if I could help, I might find my special gift and finally earn my cutie mark. Rarity: I understand, it's just that... I need this time to fill this order without any...complications. (stand clatters into place) Okay. All done. Now, back to work. I've lost a lot of time, and I cannot have any more interruptions. (doorbell rings, Rarity groans) (harried) What now?! Fluttershy: (flustered) Oh, sorry. I thought the "open" sign meant you were open, but I must have been mistaken. Rarity: (gasps) Fluttershy, forgive me! I was so wrapped up in my work that I forgot you were bringing Opalescence back from her grooming! I just don't understand how you're able to do it! I can't get near her without getting a swipe from her claws. (Opalescence hisses, Rarity yelps) Did you use...(ominously) "The Stare" on her? Fluttershy: Oh, no! I wouldn't. I couldn't! I-I don't really have any control over when that happens. I-it just happens. No, I'm just good with animals. It's my special gift, you know. Rarity: Well, you should have a picture of Opal as a cutie mark instead of those butterflies. Sweetie Belle: (excited prattle) Ooh, ooh, ooh, oh, oh, oh! Maybe I can be good with animals, too! (air whooshes as Opalescence slices) ...Or not. (Fluttershy and Rarity laugh) Rarity: I'm sorry I can't invite you to stay and chat, Fluttershy. I've bitten off a bit more than I can chew with this order. Sweetie Belle: But you're not eating anything. Rarity: No, Sweetie. It's an expression. It means that I've taken on more work than I can handle. I've got twenty of these special robes to make tonight! They're due in Trottingham [Nottingham] tomorrow morning. (fabric whooshes, harp flourish plays) (Fluttershy gasps) Rarity: See? I've lined them in this special gold silk. It took SO long to make, but I think it adds just the right touch. Don't you? Fluttershy: These are lovely, but ? By tonight? How will you get it all done? Rarity: Well, I, uh- Sweetie Belle: Oh oh oh! Maybe I could... (sheepishly) just...just stand over here and watch. Rarity: I'll manage. Fluttershy: Well, maybe I should get out of your mane so you can work. Applebloom and Scootaloo: Hi, Fluttershy! Hi, Rarity! Rarity: Hello, uh, girls... Applebloom and Scootaloo: Hey, Sweetie Belle! Sweetie Belle: Scootaloo! Applebloom! Scootaloo: You ready for tonight? Sweetie Belle: Yep! Cutie Mark Planning Session is a go! Applebloom: Tonight is the night we each try to find our own special talent! Scootaloo: Even if it takes us all night! Applebloom: I'm ready! You ready?! Scootaloo: Very ready! All three: (shouting) CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SLEEPOVER AT RARITY'S! YAY! Sweetie Belle: And...look what I made us! (trumpet flourish, Scootaloo and Applebloom voice approval) Fluttershy: What does that patch on your cape mean? All three: (shouting) THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS! YAY! Scootaloo: We're on a crusade, a MISSION! Applebloom: T'find our cutie marks! Sweetie Belle: Yup, and look. (lifts fabric) I lined them with this special gold silk. It took SO long to make, but I think it adds just the right touch, don't you? Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: Ooooh! Rarity: Sweetie Belle! What have you done?! That was the last of the gold silk! Oh, now I'll have to make more! Oh, I hope I can make more... I'm gonna have to work all night! Which means, sorry girls. I'm afraid the Crusader Sleepover is canceled. Sweetie Belle: What?! Rarity: I just won't have any time to watch you if I want to get these robes delivered on time. Sweetie Belle: But- Rarity: (sternly) No "buts" this time. I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle; it's just the way it has to be. (Cutie Mark Crusaders sigh dejectedly) Fluttershy: I, uh, I suppose I could take them for the night. Rarity: I couldn't ask you to do that. Fluttershy: Oh, it's no problem at all. Rarity: Have you...MET my sister and her friends? "A problem" is all it would be. Fluttershy: (cocksure) Did I have a "PROBLEM" with Opal? You've seen how well I handle small creatures! Rarity: I suppose that's true, and I DO have a lot of work to do... Fluttershy: Come on, it'll be fun. Rarity: I assure you, they're quite a handful. Fluttershy: These sweet little angels? (angelic choir) Rarity: Well...all right. Crusaders: (shouting) CUTIE MARK CRUSADER SLEEPOVER AT FLUTTERSHY'S COTTAGE! YAY! Fluttershy: So cute. Wait for me! (Rarity groans pensively) Fluttershy: Oh, won't this be ever so fun? We can have a nice little tea party, and braid each others' tails, and sit quietly and color, and tell each other fairy tales, and- (Fluttershy gasps) (Cutie Mark Crusaders rush past laughing) (Twilight grunts) (Cutie Mark Crusaders giggling) Twilight: Hello, Fluttershy. Fluttershy: Oh! Hello, Twilight! Where are you off to? Twilight: I'm heading to the Everfree Forest to Zecora's to get some of my favorite tea. Fluttershy: (apprehensively) The-the Everfree Forest?! (sighs) You'll be careful, won't you? Twilight: Of course! How about you? What are you doing with the girls? Fluttershy: Rarity has a big order to fill tonight, so I volunteered to take the girls over to my cottage for a sleepover. Twilight: Wow, sounds like everypony has their hooves full today. Taking care of those three fillies, all by yourself? You sure you can handle it? Fluttershy: What? These sweet little angels? They'll be no problem at all. (crickets chirping, owl hooting, Fluttershy closes door) Sweetie Belle: Wow, look at this place! (Cutie Mark Crusaders talking over each other excitedly) Fluttershy: (frazzled) No...problem at all... Okay, girls, what should we do? Scootaloo: I'm gonna get my mark first! Fluttershy: Girls...? Sweetie Belle: Nuh-uh! Fluttershy: Should we- Applebloom: I AM! Fluttershy: Girls! Okay, now, settle- Scootaloo: I'M staying up all night! Applebloom: Me too! Sweetie Belle: Me three! Fluttershy: I know you're excited, but- (chair creaking) girls, be careful with the- oh, uh, girls... (Fluttershy blows mane out of face) Fluttershy: So! What do you wanna do? Play a game? Scootaloo: We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Applebloom: And we want t'crusade for our cutie marks! Sweetie Belle: (stumbling over words) And, and, and we, um...yeah! What they said! Fluttershy: Um...I dunno. How about a nice, QUIET little tea party...? Scootaloo: Or we could go adventuring in the Everfree Forest! Applebloom and Sweetie Belle: YEAH! Fluttershy: (ominously) Oh no! The Everfree Forest is MUCH too dangerous! It's filled with far too many strange creatures. Sweetie Belle: But you could go with us and we could catch those creatures. We could be, um...creature catchers! Crusaders: (shouting) YAY! CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CREATURE CATCHERS! Scootaloo: Rarr! I am a dangerous creature from the Everfree Forest! Rarr! Sweetie Belle: (playing along) Halt, dangerous creature of the Everfree Forest! I am Sweetie Belle, the Creature Catcher, and I'm here to catch you! Scootaloo: You can never catch me! I am far too POWERFUL and DANGEROUS! Sweetie Belle: You cannot run from me! (Scootaloo pretends to roar) (Sweetie Belle giggles) (Scootaloo pretends to roar and giggles) Fluttershy: Um, uh, maybe that's not such a- now, girls, how about we do some nice coloring. (Fluttershy yelps) (thud) Sweetie Belle: Come back, dangerous creature, (table and pitcher clatter) so I can catch you! Scootaloo: Never! (several crashes followed by loud crash) Fluttershy: Careful...you don't...! ...break anything. Sweetie Belle: (remorsefully) Sorry, Fluttershy. Scootaloo: Yeah, sorry. Applebloom: (dejectedly) I guess we aren't creature catchers. Fluttershy: Oh girls, it's okay, I- Applebloom: I KNOW! We could be Cutie Mark Crusader Carpenters! Fluttershy: (apprehensively) Carpenters...? Applebloom: Hammer! Scootaloo: Hammer! Sweetie Belle: Hammer! Scootaloo: Hammer! Scootaloo: Hammer. Hammer. (hammer, saw, and jackhammer sounds) Sweetie Belle: Um, THAT doesn't look like a table. Scootaloo: (incredulous) We were making a TABLE?! Applebloom: Somepony needs t'put this thing outta its misery. Scootaloo: We are definitely not Cutie Mark Carpenters. Sweetie Belle: (dryly) Who wants a picture of a hammer on their flank, anyway? Fluttershy: Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, how about a game? Fluttershy: It's called, "Shhh." Scootaloo: What's that? Fluttershy: Well, it's a game about who can be quiet the longest. Sound fun? I'm the world champ, you know. Bet you can't b*at me! (inhales sharply) Scootaloo: I lose! Sweetie Belle: Me too! Applebloom: Me three! (Fluttershy sighs) Applebloom: Okay! Now what can we do? Ooh! How about Cutie Mark Crusader Coal Miners? Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: YEAH! Fluttershy: (loudly) NO! Crusaders: Aww... Fluttershy: I mean, it's time for bed, don't you think? (motherly) Aren't you excited to get all toasty and warm in your snuggly-wuggly widdle beds? Applebloom: "...Snuggly-wuggly?" But we have more crusadin' t'do! Scootaloo: We've got plans! Sweetie Belle: And capes! Fluttershy: Um, okay. Um, maybe the crusading can wait until morning? When it's light? And not so... (meekly) dark? Applebloom: How are we gonna find our special talent in our sleep? Fluttershy: (blows out candle) Maybe you'll have a lovely little dream about your special talent. Scootaloo: But we're not even tired! Fluttershy: How about I sing you a lullaby? Crusaders: Yeah! (Fluttershy clears throat) (gentle lullaby) Fluttershy: Hush now, quiet now It's time to lay your sleepy head Hush now, quiet now It's time to go to bed (music ends) Sweetie Belle: I know this one! Fluttershy: Oh, how WONDERFUL! Why don't you sing it with me? (Sweetie Belle clears throat) (drumroll) (lively gospel style with backup vocals) Sweetie Belle: Hush now, quiet now It's time to lay your sleepy head Said hush now, quiet now It's time to go to bed (holds note) Fluttershy: (speaking) Okay, Sweetie, that was- Sweetie Belle: Driftin' [Driftin'!] off to sleep The exciting day behind you Driftin' [Driftin'!] off to sleep Let the joy of dreamland find you (holds note) Fluttershy: (speaking) Thank you, Sweetie, um- Sweetie Belle: Hush now, quiet now Lay your sleepy head Said hush now, quiet now It's time to go to BEEEEEEED! (music ends) OW! (chickens clamoring in distance) Scootaloo: What is THAT? Fluttershy: (opens window, gasps) Girls! Applebloom: Fluttershy, your chickens are on the loose! (chickens clucking frantically) Sweetie Belle: I wonder what could've caused it... Scootaloo: Don't worry, Fluttershy! The Cutie Mark Crusaders will handle this! Sweetie Belle: Cutie Mark Crusader Chicken Herders! YAY! Fluttershy: No, I don't think that's a- ah, come back! Please! (chickens clucking, Cutie Mark Crusaders giggling) Fluttershy: Come on, girls, the chickens are fine-oh, girls, um... GIRLS! (chicken clucking and flapping wings) Fluttershy: Come on. In you go. (chickens clucking) There's some good chickens. Okay, you three, isn't it about time you got into bed? Crusaders: (pouting) But- Fluttershy: (sweetly) Please? Fluttershy: So, no more crusading for tonight, all right? Scootaloo: Yes, Fluttershy! Sweetie Belle: We promise, Fluttershy! Applebloom: G'night, Fluttershy! Fluttershy: Okay. Good night. (eyes pop open in turn) Sweetie Belle: (hushed) Okay, so what kind of crusading do we do next? Applebloom: There's not much we can do from this room, unless we become Cutie Mark Crusader Cottage Cleaners. Sweetie Belle: No thanks... Applebloom: Well, we have t'think of somethin'. We can't just waste this opportunity t'find out what our special talents are. Hey, girls! Look! Some of the chickens may have escaped! Scootaloo: Into the forest! Crusaders: (whispering) Cutie Mark Crusader Chicken Rescuers are go! Fluttershy: (relieved sigh, to self) It really wasn't THAT hard. I mean, all I needed to do was just show them who's in charge. Nothing's gonna get past Fluttershy! Good with animals, good with kids. (fabric stretches, rips) Scootaloo: Wait up! (owl hoots) Fluttershy: Mm, peace and quiet. (Fluttershy gasps) (anxious) Too quiet. (Fluttershy gasps) Girls? Girls...? Elizabeak! She's missing! Girls?! (gasps) Oh, no! They must have gone looking for my missing chicken! Which means, they must have gone into... (gasps, gulps) (quivering) ...th-the Everfree Forest! Fluttershy: Those girls have REALLY done it this time! They've really bitten off more than they can chew! Oh, just like me. I never should have offered to watch them... (Fluttershy inhales sharply) (owl hoots) Applebloom: Here, chick-chick-chick-chick-chick! (imitating chicken clucking) Bawk, bawkbawkbawk, bawk! Scootaloo: What are you DOING? Applebloom: Callin' for the chicken. Scootaloo: That is NOT how you call a chicken. Applebloom: (sarcastically) Oh, and you know how to call a chicken. Scootaloo: I know THAT'S not the way. Applebloom: Then show me. Scootaloo: I don't have to show you. Applebloom: Yer just chicken! Scootaloo: Am NOT! Applebloom: Oh, wait! NOW I know how to call a chicken! (echoing) Scootaloooo! Scoot-Scootaloooo! Scootaloo: That's so funny I forgot to laugh. Applebloom: You also forgot how to call a chicken. (Applebloom blows raspberry) Scootaloo: Why, you...! (wind howls) Sweetie Belle: Come on, guys! We're not gonna find the chicken or our cutie marks by arguing. Applebloom: Maybe that's our special talent! Arguing! Scootaloo: Is not! Applebloom: Is too! Scootaloo: Is not! Applebloom: Is too! Anything yet? Scootaloo: Nope. Applebloom: Darn. (both giggle) Applebloom: Here, chick-chick-chick-chick, bawkbawkbawkbawkbawkbagaaawk! Fluttershy: (trembling) Girls? Girls? (gasps) Get a hold of yourself, Fluttershy! Just put one hoof in front of the other. Fluttershy: (twig snaps, high-pitched squeal) What was that?! (high-pitched scream) Fluttershy: Twilight...? Is that you? (relieved) Oh, Twilight, it IS you. Thank goodness you're here. I need your help. The girls are out here somewhere, and I'm afraid that they're- (Fluttershy gasps) What's happened to you?! (Fluttershy screams, Twilight crashes into ground) Oh no! If you've been turned to stone, then that means- (gasps) Oh no! The girls! Don't move. I'll be back for you. (shouting) GIRLS! Scootaloo: Is not! Applebloom: Is too! Scootaloo: IS NOT! Applebloom: IS TOO! Sweetie Belle: (exasperated) GIRLS! Our special talent is NOT arguing! Besides, what would the cutie mark of somepony whose talent is arguing even LOOK like? Fluttershy: (echoing in distance) Girls! Girls?! Sweetie Belle: Fluttershy? Fluttershy: Girls! Thank goodness I found you! Applebloom: Fluttershy, what- Fluttershy: (insistently) Girls, we have to leave the forest at ONCE. Sweetie Belle: But we haven't found the chicken yet! Fluttershy: There's no time for that! There's a cockatrice on the loose! Applebloom: A cocka-what now? Fluttershy: (rapid, apprehensive) A cockatrice! It's a frightening creature with the head of a chicken and the body of a snake. Now, come on! Scootaloo: The head of a chicken and the body of a snake? That doesn't sound scary; that sounds silly. Applebloom: Why, if I ever saw one o'those "cocka-thingies" face-to-face, I'd laugh at how silly it was. Fluttershy: NO! NEVER look one in the eye! Fluttershy: If you look a cockatrice in the eye- Applebloom: THE CHICKEN! Fluttershy: Girls, wait! Crusaders: Here, chicken, chicken, chicken! (chicken clucking frantically) (guttural growl) Sweetie Belle: There he is! Scootaloo: Two chickens? Applebloom: I-I thought only one escaped! Sweetie Belle: Grab them both! (guttural growl) (chicken-like roar) (chicken clucks frantically, cockatrice lands) (thud) (cockatrice roars) (Crusaders screaming) (Crusaders trip and yelp as they crash) (Crusaders gasp) Fluttershy: See? Now we have to- (Crusaders scream very loudly) (cockatrice squawks) Fluttershy: (sternly) GIRLS! BEHIND ME, NOW! (cockatrice snarling) (cockatrice roars) Fluttershy: (stern, intimidating) YOU! Just WHO do you think you are, going around turning others into stone?! (cockatrice squawks in surprise) You should be ASHAMED of yourself! I have half a mind to find your mother and tell her what you've been up to, young man! (cockatrice snarls menacingly) Now, you go over there and turn Elizabeak and my friend Twilight back to normal, and don't EVER let me catch you doing this again! (stone shatters) Do you understand me? (cockatrice whimpers) (calmly) Are you girls all right? I was so worried! Scootaloo: Yeah, fine! Sweetie Belle: Thanks to that stare of yours! Scootaloo: You're like the Queen of Stares! You're the- Crusaders: Stare Master! Sweetie Belle: We're sorry we snuck out of the house and into the forest. Applebloom: Yeah. We'll listen to you from now on. Scootaloo: We promise. Fluttershy: (wryly) Oh, you do, do you? Well, you'd better, or I'll give you...The Stare. (Crusaders gasp) (all giggling) Twilight: (dazed) What...what happened? (chicken squawking) (Crusaders giggling) Fluttershy: ...And that's when it brought you back from stone. Twilight: This is gonna make quite a letter to the princess. I was wrong about you. You certainly do know how to handle those girls. Fluttershy: (modestly) Oh, I wouldn't go that far... Twilight: Hm? How so? Fluttershy: I assumed that I'd be just as good with kids as I am with animals. Boy, was I wrong. I really learned the hard way not to bite off more than I could chew. Twilight: You and Rarity both. Good morning, Rarity! Fluttershy: Did you finish all those capes? Rarity: (sighs) Just delivered them. I have to admit, if you hadn't come along, I might not have. Thanks again. Fluttershy: Won't you stay for some tea? Rarity: I really must get back to the shop and clean up. Girls, get your things. Time to go. (Crusaders giggling and chattering) Rarity: (stumbling over words) Girls! Time to- GIRLS! Your things! Girls...! (losing patience) It's time to- (groans) GIRLS! Fluttershy: (gently) Allow me. (clears throat, speaks softly and gently) Girls? Applebloom: Yes, Fluttershy. Scootaloo: You called? Fluttershy: Go and get your things. Rarity is here to see you home. Sweetie Belle: Of course, Fluttershy! Right away! Rarity: (muttering incoherently) H-how did you DO that? Fluttershy: I guess I'm just as good with kids as I am with animals. Crusaders: (talking over each other) Thank you, Fluttershy! Bye! Thank you, Stare Master! Rarity: (sheepishly) O-oh, uh, speaking of which, I could use your help with Opal... Fluttershy: Of course. How about later today? (Opalescence yowls irascibly) Rarity: How about...now? (Rarity groans in pain) (Opalescence meows crankily) (Fluttershy and Twilight giggle) (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x17 - Stare Master"}	foreverdreaming
Applebloom: Where are you takin' us? Applejack: We're almost there, young'uns. Sweetie Belle: I've never been here before. (leaf smacks Scootaloo) Scootaloo: Ouch! Applebloom: Oh, sorry. Scootaloo: (impatiently) Are we there yet? Sweetie Belle: There? Where? What? I don't even know what we're doing. Applejack: Here we are. Applebloom: What are we looking at? Scootaloo: I have NO idea. Sweetie Belle: What IS that thing? Applejack: Cutie Mark Crusaders, welcome to yer new clubhouse. (wooden slat falls to ground) (stung) Well, don't thank me all at once. This was my clubhouse when I was yer age. Sure, it hasn't been used in a while, but it's empty and on a secluded, private part o'the farm. And it's all yours. (roof creaks, loud crash) It just needs a little, uh...TLC. Scootaloo: (sarcastically) TLC as in "Tender Loving Care," or "Totally Lost Cause?" Applebloom: Applejack! We're supposed to turn THIS into our new clubhouse?! Applejack: Well, maybe y'all would get yer cutie marks when you discovered yer talent for- (yelps) (wood creaks, crash) (grunts) ...house cleanin'? (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends (map rolls up) (flap closes) (engine rev noises, metal guitar plays) (Scootaloo zooms past) (ponies gasp) Granny Smith: (feebly) Not so fast! (tires squealing) (roaring engine noises) (brakes squeal, music ends) Applebloom: Whoa! Hey, Scootaloo! Applebloom: Yup! I fixed the broken shutters, sanded off the splinters, rebuilt the roof, painted... Scootaloo: That's so cool! What's Sweetie Belle up to? Sweetie Belle: (singing Cutie Mark Crusaders Theme eloquently) We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders (hums) (humming) ...never stop the journey (Sweetie Belle hums) Applebloom: There you are, Sweetie Belle! See? I told you we could find her by following her totally awesome voice. Scootaloo: What's that sweet tune you're singing? Sweetie Belle: (embarrassed) Oh, I was just working on our new Cutie Mark Crusaders theme song. Applebloom and Scootaloo: COOL! Scootaloo: Teach us? Sweetie Belle: Well, I've only come up with one part, but...OKAY! Sweetie Belle: (singing softly with piano accompaniment) They all say that you'll get your mark When the time is really right Applebloom: (off-key) And you know what you're supposed ta do Scootaloo: (screeching, off-key and off-rhythm) AND YOUR POWER COMES TO LIGHT! Applejack: Well, uh...I'll be, Cutie Mark Crusaders! You've done one fine job with this place. So, what's next? Applebloom: Well, now that we have a real live clubhouse... Scootaloo: And a map of Ponyville. Sweetie Belle: And a Cutie Mark Crusaders theme song. Applejack: (dumbstruck) Theme song...? Applebloom: We're gonna go out into the world and discover our talents! Scootaloo: And new adventures! Sweetie Belle: And earn our cutie marks! Applebloom: We'll leave no stone unturned! Scootaloo: No mountain unclimbed! Sweetie Belle: No meal uncooked! Applebloom: No song unlearned! Applejack: Well, okay then! Sounds like you have a plan. I gotta, uh...leave no apple unpicked! See y'all later! Scootaloo: (encouraging) Are we ready to get our cutie marks, ponies? Crusaders: READY! (high-hoof) (slop sloshes noisily as it's poured into trough) (bell rings) (door slides open) (pigs squeal) (pigs eat noisily) (pig licks Sweetie Belle noisily) (taffy puller powers up) (stretching noises) (stretching and squishing noises) (bell rings) (pony sobs) (cards flop out) (wind howling) (squid growls) Spike: I had nothing to do with this! Twilight: What is going on here?! Applebloom: Hmph...well, we sure aren't gettin' our cutie marks for bein' librarians. Spike: (scoffs) I should think not. What? Twilight: Girls, I think you're going about this the wrong way. Instead of trying to do things in areas you're not familiar with, why not try doing things in areas that you already like? Cheerilee: And I have the perfect place to start. Applebloom: "Showcase yer talents..." Scootaloo: "...for all to see..." Sweetie Belle: "...Perform in the Ponyville school talent show!" Cheerilee: There'll be all sorts of awards! Best dramatic performance, best comedy act, best magic act... Surely you can find YOUR talents! Applebloom: This WOULD be the perfect place t'discover our talents! Applebloom: Juggling! Scootaloo: Acting! Sweetie Belle: Magic tricks! Applebloom: Square dancin'! Scootaloo: Tightrope walking! Sweetie Belle: Tiger taming! Twilight: My Little Ponies! You're missing the point! Think about the things you already enjoy doing. Think about what you're already good at. Scootaloo: Sure, we can do that. Sweetie Belle: Yeah, sure we can. Applebloom: Well, whatever we do, we'll do it as: Crusaders: The Cutie Mark Crusaders! (high-hoof) (engine noises) Rarity: (slams door open, exasperated) Sweetie Belle! I told you NOT to touch my things! COME BACK WITH MY SUPPLIES! Sweetie Belle: We're just borrowing them for the talent show. Don't worry, Sis! I promise we'll bring them back! Scootaloo: Thanks, Mr. Breezy! We'll return the fan to you real soon! Applebloom: What do we need this fan for? Sweetie Belle: Trust me on this one. Scootaloo: Okay, so that's six wooden planks, four-by-eight plywood, a box of nails, four cans of paint, and four brushes. Anything else? Sweetie Belle: (dryly) Yeeeah... Instructions on how to use "six wooden planks, four-by-eight plywood, a box of nails, four cans of paint, and four brushes." (Sweetie Belle yelps) Twilight: (reading) "Ghosts, Goblins, and Ghoulish Figures?" Good heavens, girls! What do you need a book like this for? Scootaloo: You'll see. Thanks, Twilight! We'll give it back as soon as we're done with it. Twilight: What do you think they're up to? Spike: I have no idea, and I don't know if I should be excited or scared to find out. Applebloom: I'm glad we're doin' this as a team! Sweetie Belle: Me too! Um...so, what are we doing again? Scootaloo: A super-awesome dramatic song for the talent show, of course. Sweetie Belle: Right! With super-cool scenery! And amazing costumes! Applebloom: And mind-blowin' dance moves! Scootaloo: This is gonna be SO amazing! Applebloom: Sweetie Belle, I think you should be the singer! Sweetie Belle: What? No way I'm singing in front of a crowd. Twilight said to do something we like to do, and I'd like to be like my big sister, and she's a designer. Scootaloo: Fine then. You can do the costumes and the scenery. Applebloom: And Scootaloo, you're great at maneuvers on yer scooter. So you should do the choreography! Y'know, all those dance moves! Scootaloo: Nah, I'd rather sing a wicked rock ballad. Why don't YOU come up with the dance routine, Applebloom? Applebloom: Hm...I'm not much of a dancer...but I DO like Kung-fu! That's kinda like dancin'! (Applebloom kiais) Sweetie Belle: Then it's settled! Let's get started. (record player playing waltz) Applebloom: One, two, three...oh! Oh! (crashes) Scootaloo: (irritated) Ow, Applebloom! What are you doing? Applebloom: Oh, I feel like I have four left feet. I can't even spin right. Scootaloo: Don't be silly. You just gotta keep your head forward until the very last minute, like this! See? Easy-peasy. You just gotta practice a bunch, that's all. Applebloom: Wow, that DOES look easy! Thanks! Okay. Let's try this again! Oh! (crashes) Ouch! (more crashes) Ow! I'm okay! Scootaloo: Keep practicing! Applebloom: Will do! (Scootaloo plays note) Scootaloo: (playing plodding, tuneless melody and singing off-key) We fight the fight, walk the walk, talk the talk, eat the... uh...food...like a celery stalk? (plays sour note) Ugh! I'll never come up with anything! (discordant piano chords as Scootaloo bangs head) Never, never, NEVER! Sweetie Belle: Come back! Come back! (pouts) Dumb fabric. Hey Scoot, how's the song going? (Scootaloo blows raspberry) "Pbht?" Oh my, sounds serious. Scootaloo: I'm just no good at lyrics. Coming up with words is like...really hard. Sweetie Belle: Oh, it can't be that bad. "With our cutie marks we'll rock Equestria We'll use our stomachs to...digestia?" Um, well...these are, um, good, but... How about after, "We fight the fight:" (singing eloquently) "There is nothing that we fear We'll have to figure out what we'll do next 'Til our cutie marks are here (holds note)" Scootaloo: Wow! That's so awesome! Did you just come up with that now? Sweetie Belle: (sheepishly) Yeah, kinda. Scootaloo: Thanks! I'm TOTALLY using that. (fabric rustling) Sweetie Belle: (anxious) Oh no! (sewing machine motor humming) One, two, three, four...FIVE?! (Sweetie Belle groans and sighs) Applebloom: Ouch! Sweetie Belle: How's the spin coming along? Applebloom: I think I gotta just stick to punches and kicks. (dryly) You know, ponies only have four legs. Sweetie Belle: (melancholic moan) I'll never be a designer like my sister Rarity. Applebloom: (encouraging) Hey, it's no big deal. Why don't you use the dress form? It'll help you with yer patterns and help you put all the pieces in the right places. Sweetie Belle: Oh, is THAT what that's for? Applebloom: Uh...maybe you should also clean yer paintbrush between each color. Sweetie Belle: Oh, I was wondering why all the colors looked like mud. Applebloom: Yer not usin' power tools, are you? Applejack: The talent show is just around the corner. I wonder how the fillies are doin'. Applebloom: Oops! Sorry, Scootaloo. Scootaloo: That's okay! Ugh! Sweetie Belle: Oops, sorry Scootaloo. Ouch! Scootaloo: Oh, my bad, Sweetie Belle. Let's sing the chorus again! Applejack: Well, gosh...sure wasn't expectin' that... Applebloom: I think that sounded pretty good! Sweetie Belle: Me too! You think we're ready? Scootaloo: Ready as we'll ever be! Hey! Did you see us practicing? Applejack: (hesitantly) Uh...yeah... Applebloom: (excited) Well?! How'd we do?! How'd we do?! Applejack: Uh... Scootaloo: Speechless! See, girls? I told you that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna leave 'em speechless! Crusaders: YAY! (high-hoof) Applejack: (under breath) "Speechless" is right. (ponies chattering) Snips: And on the count of three, this rabbit will disappear and something tasty will reappear in its place! A-one, a-two, and a-three! ...Hey! Where are they?! Snails, where are the- (Snails chewing noisily) (crestfallen) carrots. (exaggerated) SNAAAAILS! (ponies laughing raucously) Cheerilee: Uh, how about a round of applause for the S&S Magic Act? (ponies stomping ground for applause) Now, for our next act, we have Sunny Days and Peachy Pie reciting their favorite poem...on rollerskates! (ponies roll past on skates) Sweetie Belle: Break a leg! Applebloom: (horrified) Sweetie Belle! What a thing to say! Sweetie Belle: (dismissively) No, no, no. You see, in the theater, it's considered bad luck to say, "Good luck." So you say, "Break a leg," instead. Twilight: My Little Ponies! How are you doing? Crusaders: Nervous... Twilight: Don't worry. You're gonna be amazing. Remember, just stick to what you know best. I can't wait to hear you sing, Sweetie Belle! Sweetie Belle: Why does EVERYPONY always think I'm gonna sing? Scootaloo: Actually, Twilight Sparkle, I'M the main singer tonight. Twilight: Oh? Applebloom: And I'm the main dancer! HI-YA! Twilight: Oh...? Sweetie Belle: And I'm in charge of... Twilight: (apprehensively) Costumes? Sweetie Belle: And sets and props. How'd you know? Twilight: Really, girls? Are you sure...? Cheerilee: Cutie Mark Crusaders! You're on next! Cheerilee: Break a leg! Applebloom: Break a le- (crashes, grunts) ( 's rock intro begins) Twilight: Uh...good luck! (cloaks rustle) (curtain draws) Scootaloo: (off-key) This here are three little ponies Ready to sing for this crowd Listen up, 'cuz here's our story I'm gonna sing it (harmony) VERY LOOOOUD! (electric guitar solo) When you're a younger pony And your flank is very bare Feels like the sun will never come When your cutie mark's not there So the three of us fight the fight There's nothing that we fear We'll have to figure out what we'll do next (music builds, Crusaders harmonize) 'Til our cutie marks are here Chorus: (off-key) We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders On a quest to find out who we are (Scootaloo crashes) (fog machine sputters to life) And we will never stop the journey Not until we have our cutie marks (wailing electric guitar solo) Scootaloo: (off-key) They all say that you'll get your mark When the time is really right (Sweetie Belle crashes off-stage) And you know just what you're supposed to do (Applebloom shatters prop) And your talent comes to light (ascending guitar riffs) But it's not as easy as it sounds And that waiting's hard to do (percussion flourish) So we test our talents everywhere Until our face is blue Chorus: (off-key) We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders On a quest to find out who we are (wind howling) And we will never stop the journey (wood creaking, crash) Not until we have our cutie marks We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders On a quest to find out who we are (wood creaking) And we will never stop the journey Not until we have our cutie marks (song ends) (series of loud crashes) (raucous laughter) Scootaloo: Wow. That did NOT go as well as I expected. Applebloom: I can't believe they're laughin' at us! Sweetie Belle: Was it THAT bad? Cheerilee: Back on stage, girls! It's time for the awards! Sweetie Belle: Back on stage? No. Applebloom: They'll just laugh some more! Scootaloo: Yeah, what's the point? Cheerilee: Now, girls, let's be good sports. You made a great effort. You should be proud. Now, come on! Let's hear it for all our talented fillies and colts! (ponies stomping ground in applause) Our first award goes to Snips and Snails for best magic act. Snips: Hey! Mine's at least shinier. Snails: Well, mine's bigger. Snips: Oh yeah? Well, um...mine is, um...heavier? Cheerilee: The next award goes to Sunny Days and Peachy Pie for best dramatic performance! And finally, the last award of the night goes to... THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS! Crusaders: What?! Cheerilee: For best comedy act! (audience cheers) Applebloom: Can you believe it?! We won! Scootaloo: I knew our act was awesome! Sweetie Belle: You know what would be the BEST? If we won AND we got our cutie marks! (clothes fly off) (Crusaders moan dejectedly) Twilight: Congratulations, ponies! Job well done! Crusaders: (dejected monotone) Thanks, Twilight. Twilight: Hey, you don't sound too excited. Scootaloo: (sighs) We worked really hard and we won a prize, but we still don't have our cutie marks. Sweetie Belle: Which is the prize we really wanted. Twilight: Oh, girls... Applebloom: But we think we know why. Sweetie Belle: Yes, we know why. Twilight: Oh? Tell me! I'd love to make a special report to the princess. Sweetie Belle: Well, maybe we were trying TOO hard. Twilight: (probing) Yes, and? Scootaloo: And instead of forcing ourselves to do something that's not meant for us... Twilight: (leading) Yes, yes? Applebloom: We each should be embracin' our true talent! Twilight: And that is...? Crusaders: COMEDY! Applejack: Applebloom! You did it! Crusaders: Did you see our reward? Weren't we funny? Twilight: One day. (giggles) One day. (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x18 - Show Stoppers"}	foreverdreaming
Rarity: Perfect! (door opens, bell rings) Rarity: (singsong) Coming! Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique! (shocked gasp) (gushing, shrieking) Sapphire Shores! The Pony of Pop! Sapphire Shores: (theatrical tone) Good afternoon, Miss Ra-ri-tee! Rarity: (stammering) You, yuh...y-y-you know my name?! Sapphire Shores: Well, of course I do, darling. I make it a point to know all of the up-and-coming designers, and Clothes Horse Magazine simply RAVED about you! Rarity: Oh my stars...If I'm dreaming, do NOT wake me up! How may I help you, Miss (voice breaking) Shores? Sapphire Shores: Oh please, call me Sapphire. Rarity: (giggles) How may I help you, SAPPHIRE? Sapphire Shores: Well, as I'm sure you know, I'll be touring all of Equestria with my latest concert, "Sapphire Shores' Zigfilly Follies," so I need to look (hamming) SEEENSAATIONAL! OW! Rarity: I have just what you need! Sapphire Shores, prepare yourself for the piece de résistance de la haute couture! (harp flourish) I used every last diamond I found on this one garment! Sapphire Shores: (gasps) And it is SPECTACULAR! I'll take it. Rarity: Really? Sapphire Shores: Oh, yes, and five more, each done up in a different jewel. Rarity: (dumbstruck) Beg pardon? Sapphire Shores: Costume changes. (Rarity faints theatrically) (chuckles, smugly) Yes, I do have that effect on ponies. (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends Spike: (gushing) Oh my gosh, Sapphire Shores! The Pony of Pop! She is AWESOME! I mean, she's gorgeous, and talented, and, heh... (sheepishly) ...and not even half the pony you are. (sucking up) I mean, you're ten times more gorgeous, and talented, and... Rarity: (strained) Spike, a lady is NEVER jealous. Spike: Er, uh, of course not. But were you TOTALLY flipping out or what?! I need to find more jewels than ever before to decorate her costume. Ooh, ooh...AHA! Spike: Did you find some? Rarity: Yes, Spike! Right there! (Spike digging) Spike: Oooooh! (licks lips noisily) (entranced) You look so...delicious! (drools) Rarity: (admonishing) Spike! I promised I'd give you gems to snack on, but we need to collect more first or I'll never be able to make these outfits for Sapphire. (Spike sighs heavily) Spike: I will miss you, my sweets. Rarity: Come along, Spike. We have many jewels to find. Spike: At your service, milady. Rarity: Spike! (jackhammer pounding dirt) (Spike shudders happily) (Spike slurping and drooling noisily) Rarity: You've been very patient today, Spike. And for that, you get the finest reward. This is from me to you. Is something wrong, Spike? Spike: No. It's perfect. Rarity: Ooh! Bring the cart, Spike! There are more over here! Spike: For me...from Rarity. (Spike's heart beats loudly, pigeon cooing) Diamond dog leader: (lisping a la LotR's Gollum) Yesss, gemsss. Gemsss! Our preciousss gemsss! He is the gem hunter. With him, we can have all those gems, and more! Let's get the dragon. Rarity: (singsong) Spike? Where are you? Leader: What?! Who is that? Rarity: You know, it's terrible to keep a lady waiting. Spike: Coming! Rarity: I think we're REALLY going to strike gold this time...so to speak. (giggles) Spike: JACKPOT! Leader: Oh, it's not the DRAGON we want. It's the PONY! Diamond dogs: The pony... Rarity: Well, Spike, I think that's all we can do for today. And these will get me well on my way with Sapphire's outfits. Why don't we start headi-oh! What's this? Another jewel! Oh, strange. It's in the trees. (entranced) Ohhh... (startled) EWW! (stumbling over words) Er, uh...good day, gentle, uh, fellow. I am Rarity, and this is my friend Spike. (Spike chuckles nervously) Rarity: And you are...? Leader: A diamond dog. Rarity: (stalling) Oh, really? Oh, well, that explains your fine taste in jewelry. (trembling) I mean, I-I know diamonds are a girl's best friend, and now I know they're a dog's best friend, too. (giggles nervously) So, um. (clears throat nervously) You out hunting for gems as well? Leader: Yes, we hunt. Rarity: Er, "we?" Leader: We hunt for gems, but YOU are a better hunter. (dirt shifting) So now we hunt...FOR YOU. (dogs burst out of ground) (Rarity shrieks, paw swipes air) (jackhammer pounding, diamond dog yelps) Spike: Run, Rarity! Run! (Spike yelps) (diamond dogs yell, crash into ground in turn) Rarity: Spike! Come on! Hurry! Leader: Gotcha! Rarity: (shrill scream) SPIKE! Spike: (straining) I got 'im, Rarity! I got 'im! Big dog: (derisive laugh) Nope! Small dog: Sorry, scaly one! Spike: Wait! Rarity...? Rarity: Unhand me this instant, you ruffians! Stop! Put me down, you scum! You rough- (trails off) Spike: (gasps) Rarity! Rarity: Spike! (repulsed scream) Dirt! (screams) SPIKE! Spike: Which, what, where?! Rarity: (echoing) SAVE MEEEE! Spike: NOOOOOOOOO! (Spike hyperventilating into paper bag) Twilight: Spike! Can you breathe now? Spike: (hyperventilates) ...Yes, (inhales sharply) I think so. Twilight: Good. Now, tell us what you know. Rainbow Dash: Yeah, 'cuz all you said earlier was: Spike: (in flashback, rapid, panicky speech) AAAAH! Rarity, woods, jewels, dogs, hole, taken, SAVE HER! Applejack: Not a whole lot t'go on there, Sport. Spike: Sorry. Rarity and I were in the woods looking for jewels when these creepy guys showed up. Twilight: "Creepy guys?" Spike: They called themselves, the "diamond dogs." They grabbed Rarity and disappeared down a hole in the ground! Applejack: Well, that sounds mighty easy. Just take us to that there hole and we'll save Rarity! (ponies gasp in turn) Pinkie Pie: Holy moly, that's a lotta holeys. Twilight: Come on, girls! Let's get started. (echoing) Hello...? (low growl) (Twilight gasps, gags, spits) (Rainbow Dash grunts) (Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Spike gasp in turn) (holes filling with dirt) Twilight: Quick! We gotta get down one before they're all filled up! Fluttershy: (as holes fill up) Oh! Oh my. Oh! Oh! (Pinkie Pie grunts) (Applejack strains, yelps) Applejack: We can't muscle through 'em! Rainbow Dash: We'll see about that. (Rainbow Dash gasps) Applejack: Whew...Heavens to Betsy. Now, I'm used t'pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off, but Rarity won't even TOUCH mud 'less it's imported. Twilight: (anxious) Oh, Rarity... (harp flourish, wipe to imagination) Rarity: Oh, woe is me! What EVER shall I do? (screams) Dirt, dirt! Get away, dirt! Make it stop, make it stop! (screams) Filthy, disgusting dirt. It stings. It BURNS! Help! Oh, somepony save me, SAVE ME... (trails off) Applejack: We gotta save 'er. Fluttershy: But they blocked up all the holes. Applejack: Don't mean we can't dig 'em out. Come on! Pinkie Pie: OW! (crash) (Fluttershy grunts) (Spike panting, yelps, crashes and grunts) Rainbow Dash: GET 'EM! (Rainbow Dash grunts) (Applejack grunts repeatedly) (Applejack gasps) Pinkie Pie: Whoooa! (ponies grunt and crash into ground) Rainbow Dash: Go get 'em! (Twilight yelps, crashes) (all panting in exhaustion) Fluttershy: All these scary monsters popping up everywhere... Fluttershy: Oh, poor Rarity must be terrified! Twilight: Oh... (imagination wipe) Small dog: Get me the baubles! (Rarity yelps) Big dog: Get me the beads! (Rarity yelps) Leader: Get me the trinkets! (Rarity shrieks) Dogs: WHERE IS THE TREASURE?! (Rarity swoons) Twilight: Poor Rarity. What are we gonna do? Spike: I've GOT IT! (bravado) I'll save you, my sweet! Ponies: Huh? Twilight: Spike, it is very noble of you- (Spike shushes Twilight) (hushed) to sacrifice the gem Rarity gave you. Spike: O Lady Rarity, my damsel in distress... (in Spike's imagination) Adult Spike: (same voice) I shall save you! Show yourselves, you dogs! You curs! (guttural growls) Ah, there you are, you mangy mutts. Leader: Who are you calling mutts?! UNLEASH THE HOUNDS! (blows dog whistle inaudibly) (dogs bark) (frenzied barking) (dogs whine) (barking) (dogs whine) (barking) (Spike breathes fre, dogs yelp) (Spike breathes fre) Spike: (heroically) Now, where is Lady Rarity? (door shatters) Rarity: Ah, Spike! I KNEW you would save me! Spike: (modestly) Nothing could stop me, milady. Rarity: (trembling coquettishly) O-o-o-oh Spike, you are my...hero. (Rarity smacks lips noisily) Spike: Mmmm... Applejack: (chuckling) Whoa-ho there, Lover Boy. Spike: Huh?! Whoa! Whoa whoa whoawhoawhoa! I've got a bite! I got a bite! Applejack: (grunts, mouth full) Hold on there, little fella! Twilight: Applejack! Rainbow Dash: Twilight! Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! Pinkie Pie: (unfazed) Wait for me! WHEEE! (all screaming) (Pinkie Pie laughs) (all grunt in turn as they crash into ground) Spike: (voice echoing) Ha HA, it worked! We're in! Now we can finally save Rarity! Twilight: Um...which way do we go? Spike: (echoing) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Twilight: All these tunnels...how are we ever gonna find Rarity? Applejack: Guess we're just gonna have t'start goin' down 'em one by one. Rainbow Dash: That could take forever! There's gotta be a way to narrow it down. Spike: I know! I bet they've taken Rarity down the tunnel with the most gems! Twilight: But Spike, Rarity's the only one who knows how to find gems. Spike: No, Twilight, you can! You can copy Rarity's gem-finding spell! Twilight: Oh my gosh. You're right! Rarity showed me how she did it a while back. If I can just remember... (Twilight strains, horn poofs) Spike: That's it! You did it, Twilight! Come on! We're comin', Rarity! We'll save you! Just hold on! Rarity: Oh please, diamond dogs. Please let me go. Small dog: NO! Big dog: You're our precious little pony. Leader: FOREVER! (maniacal cackle) Rarity: But whatever do you want from me? Leader: (lisping) Gemsss! Small dog: Yes, the gems, the jewels! Big dog: Find them. Find them all! Rarity: (confidently) Oh. Is that all? There, a lovely pocket of jewels is right there. Now if you'd be so kind as to show me the exit... Leader: (amused cackle) Good! Now, dig them up, pony. Rarity: What? But you said you wanted me to FIND the gems. Small dog: Yes! Find, and then dig. Rarity: (dryly) Dig? Big Dog: (exasperated grunt) Yes, dig. (aggrieved sigh) (Rarity paws at ground and whimpers lightly) Big dog: What are you doing?! We said DIG! Rarity: (indignantly) Forgive me, but prior to you so rudely dragging me into your dirt pit, I had a pony pedi, and I am not about to chip a hoof because you dislike my style of digging. (Rarity paws at ground and whimpers) Leader: Oh, for goodness... (groans) Fine, just stop. Stop! Dig, dogs! Dig! And fast. (frenzied barking) Big dog: (grunts) She won't dig, she pulls. Rarity: I beg pardon, but what, pray tell, are you doing?! Big dog: Others will dig. You will haul the wagon. Small dog: (sardonically) Precious pony pedi will be preserved. Rarity: Well, SOMEBODY certainly needs proper nail care. When was the last time YOU two had a manicure?! You're scratching up my coat with those jagged things! Leader: (pleading) PLEASE BE QUIET! Rarity: (repulsed) Good HEAVENS, what IS that smell?! Leader: Smell? Rarity: (dryly) Ah, mystery solved. It's your breath. (leader breathes on hand and sniffs) Leader: (frustrated) ENOUGH! SEARCH, PONY! (cart drags along ground) Rarity: Well, since you insist. But I must say, the working conditions in here are simply dreadful. (dogs digging) Musty and damp. It's going to wreak havoc on my mane. And this air... (scoffs) ...suffocating. And when I try to take a deep breath, the scent of all you dogs makes me nauseated. (rock shatters, crashes into ground, dogs whimper) You look and smell like you haven't bathed in WEEKS. Have you never heard of soap? (dogs sniffing each other) You could all do with a good round of soap and water. Water, water...I'm terribly thirsty. Could I please have some water? Small dog: (frazzled) Good gracious, I can't take this anymore! BE QUIET, PONY! Rarity: (haughtily) And that's another thing. I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me "pony." I am a lady, and I wish to be addressed as such. So you can call me "Miss," or "Rarity," or "Miss Rarity." Leader: ENOUGH! Your whining, it-it-it HURTS! Rarity: "Whining?" I am NOT whining. I am COMPLAINING. (ominously) Do you want to HEAR whining? (shrill, exaggerated whining) Thiiis is whining! Oh, this harness is too TIIIGHT! It's going to chafe. Can't you loosen it? Oooh, it hurts, and it's (piercing) sooo rusty! Why didn't you clean it first?! It's gonna leave a staaain! And the wagon's getting heavy, why do I have to pull it?! Small dog: Aaah! Make it stop! Leader: Stop whining! Rarity: (indignant whining) But I thought you waaanted whiniiing! Leader: We'll do ANYTHING, pony! (nervously) Oh, uh, we'll do anything, "Miss Rarity." (sheepish chuckle) Rarity: "Anything?" This water is hardly sparkling, but I suppose it'll have to do. (dogs groaning and straining) Leader: ...Wait! Why are WE doing this?! Small dog: To stop the awful noises from the pony's mouth, remember? (imitates Rarity whining) Leader: Yes, yes, I know! This is ridiculous! Letting a pony order us around?! What are we?! Mice or dogs? Big and small dogs: (hesitantly) Mi-er, dogs? Leader: Dogs do not pull. Ponies pull. Let her make the awful noises. Rarity: Huh? What are you doing?! Hey! You spilled my drink! Oh! (shrill, exaggerated whining) Not so tiiiiiiiiight! Leader: Ha! Make the noises all you want! But MOVE while you make them! Hyah, mule! (slaps Rarity) Rarity: (tearing up) Did you just call me a..."mule?" Leader: Eh...? (sniffling, voice breaking) Mules are ugly. Are you saying that I, too, am ugly? (Rarity sobs theatrically) Small dog: What are THESE noises?! Rarity: (whiny sobs) HE CALLED ME UGLY! Leader: (defensively) No! Mule! I said "mule!" Rarity: An old ugly mule! And it's true! Just look at me. I used to be beautiful, but, but, no-o-o-o-ow...! Large dog: (henpecked) No, no! You're still beautiful, po-uh, Miss Rarity! Rarity: You're just saying that! Small dog: (tripping over words) No, you're still pretty, and...and... Leader: Oh, uh, uh, nice! Yeah. Rarity: I don't believe you! You never liked me! (Rarity sobs loudly) Leader: (groans) I've had just about enough of this. Twilight: We're getting close. I can feel it. (Rarity's sobs echo through tunnels) Spike: It's coming from down here! Come on! (Rarity sobbing) Rainbow Dash: She must be in there! Let's go- (all yelp) Dog: More workhorses! (Applejack grunts) Applejack: Ho, doggies. If you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready fer a ride. Come on, ponies! Kick 'em up, kick 'em out! Buck 'em up, buck 'em down! (dogs yelping frantically as they are tossed about) Applejack: YEE-HAW! Git along, little doggies! (cacophony issues forth from tunnel) Spike: (bravado) I'm comin' for you, milady! Hi-ho Twilight, AWAY! Twilight: And just what do you think you're doing? Spike: Please, Twilight. Just give me this. Twilight: (sighs) Fine. (neighs) (door shatters) Spike: Lady Rarity, I'm here to save you! (dogs pleading with ponies to make Rarity stop) Twilight: Excuse me...? Small dog: So picky. Big dog: And critical. Small dog: She won't stop talking. Big dog: And crying. Leader: We, uh, give her back. Yes. Spike: Rarity! You're safe! Rarity: (calmly) Why, yes. Hello, girls. You arrived just in time to assist me. Applejack: Assist you with what? Rarity: With THOSE. Spike: You're letting us leave? With all these...jewels? Leader: (pleading) Yes, take them! And HER with them! Small dog: PLEASE! (dogs sigh) Pinkie Pie: I can't believe you got all these gems! Rainbow Dash: I can't believe you tricked all those dogs. Rarity: Just because I'm a lady doesn't mean I cannot handle myself in a sticky situation. I had them wrapped around my hoof the entire time. Twilight: I can't wait to write to Princess Celestia to tell her what you taught me today. Rarity: (quizzically) Me? What did I teach you? Twilight: Just because somepony is ladylike doesn't make her weak. In fact, by using her wits, a seemingly defenseless pony can be the one who outsmarts and outshines them all. Spike: Mm. "Outshines" is right. Now you have enough gems to cover Sapphire Shores' costumes. Rarity: Not if you eat them all, Spike. (Spike yelps, ponies laugh) (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x19 - A Dog and Pony Show"}	foreverdreaming
So sorry, Fluttershy. I hate being late for our weekly get together. The usual. But you will not believe what happened to me. Is everything all right? Oh, it's much more than all right. I was on my way here, wearing my latest hat creation, when who should stop on on the street but Photo Finish. Photo Finish? She's the most famous fashion photographer in all of Equestria. Anyhoo, she saw my hat and said it was absolutely marvelous. What a lovely compliment. She was so impressed that she wants to take some pictures of my shop featuring some of my clothes. That's wonderful. Do you know what this could mean for my fashion career? Oh, Rarity, I'm so happy for you. But I'm going to need some pony fabulous to model for me. Some pony with beauty. Some pony with grace. Some pony...like you? Oh, goodness, I don't know. Oh, this is such a huge opportunity. And it would mean so much to me. I'm flattered, really. No pony is going to have your elegance and poise. -But... -No pony. -There has to be some pony more quali- -Please? -Some pony more into fashion- -Please? -Some pony more comfortable in the spotlight... -Please, please, please... Oh, if it's that important to you, of course I'll do it. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! You are the best friend a pony could ever have. What a wonderful way to spend an afternoon. Isn't it? Though I was so afraid you wouldn't agree to model for me that I felt completely frazzled. I think I feel a pimple coming on. Oh, only one solution. The usual. (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends She's going to want to see attitude and pizazz. A, a, attitude and, um, pizazz... More light. It has to catch the sequins just so, or the whole outfit is just a disaster. Oh, and the headdress needs more feathers. Pinkie Pie! More feathers! And sequins! More sequins! And more ribbon! Oh no, less ribbon! No! More ribbon! Oh, this hem is completely off. PINCUSHION! Thank you all for helping me. I'm sorry to be so short with you, but I'm, I'm just so nervous. Oh, doesn't that hurt? Thick scales. Can't feel a thing. And even if I could, there is no pain that would keep me from assisting the most beautiful creature in the world. Ohhh... I'm going to tell you two a secret. But you have to PROMISE not to tell anyone. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. I have a crush on Rarity. We won't say a word. -Give me a break. Every pony already knows how you... -Twilight! You promised Spike you wouldn't say anything. He trusts you. And losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend forever. -But... -FOREVER! My lips are sealed. Though I'm pretty sure Rarity is gonna pick up on your feelings. I, Photo Finish, have arrived. Let me just say, what an honor! We begin...NOW! Rarity: Attitude and pizazz! Yes, show Photo Finish something! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Enough! She hardly took any pictures. I'm so sorry. I tried my best. Well, the headdress is too big for you and the cape had too much sparkle. I can't believe I ever thought I could impress her. It seems that I, Photo Finish, have found the next fashion star here in Ponyville. Really? Yes, really. And I, Photo Finish, am going to help her shine all over Equestria. Tomorrow, a photo sht in the park. I go. Did you hear that? I am going to shine all over Equestria. Oh, Rarity. I was so worried I'd ruined everything. Oh, never. I knew you'd be perfect. No, no, no...YES! That is definitely the one! Photo Finish is going to love it. Every pony is going to love it! Oh, I am so excited for you. Just don't forget all of us little ponies when you become the most famous fashion designer in all of Equestria. Never. Put me down here. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The model should be in something simple. Something inspired by...the nature! That's just what I was thinking. Um, give me a moment and I'll, uh, put a little something together. Yes. That will not be necessary. But...but... How are you going to help me "shine across Equestria" if I don't design something new for these pictures? I am not going to help you shine across Equestria. I am going to help her shine. She is my star. You. Go. I can't, Rarity. Oh, but you must, Fluttershy. Photo Finish wants to make you a star. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. I know we were both hoping it would be my lifetime, but nonetheless, you can't throw away this chance. You must do this for me. You must. You must! YOU MUST! FLUTTERSHY! It is time to make...THE MAGICS. Oh, wunderbar! You are like a delicate flower. So much more alluring without all those sparkles and feathers. How'd it go? How'd it go? It didn't. Photo Finish wanted to work with Fluttershy, not me. Oh, Rarity. I'm so sorry. Is there anything we can do? I just want to be alone right now. You heard her. She wants to be alone. What? I didn't think she meant "ALONE" alone. Too much blush. Not enough. Too much. Not enough. Perfect. Ahhh, ahhh... AHHH... choo! Oh, yes! Even her sneezes are graceful. NOW GO. How do you feel? Excited? Overjoyed? Thrilled beyond your wildest dreams? Fluttershy: (softly, meekly) N-nervous. Photo Finish: Nervous? Doon't be reedeeculous. You're only facing a lahge crowd of poonies who vill be vatching your every moove and silently judging you. (jazzy music playing) Your cue! NOW GO! (Fluttershy squeaks) (ponies chattering) Fluttershy: (to self) You can't let Rarity down. You must do this. You must, you must, you must. (crowd cheering and stomping approval) Blond pony: So graceful. Pink pony: So lovely. Hoity Toity: So perfect for my new advertisement! (ponies clamoring for Fluttershy) (Rarity gasps) (ponies chattering) Light blue pony: It's Fluttershy! (fans clamor for Fluttershy) (Fluttershy yelps) (paparazzi clamor for Fluttershy while taking pictures) (sewing machine humming, door opens) (fans clamoring for Fluttershy) Rarity: (strained) Wow. Look how popular you are. I'm so excited for you. (wistfully) You must be having the best time ever. Fluttershy: (morosely) Oh, yes. Best time ever. (door slams open) Photo Finish: FLOOTERSHY! I have been lewking for you everyvere! Ve have za theeng at za place. Fluttershy: I'll see you at the spa. Our usual time? Rarity: (false sincerity) Of COURSE! I can't wait to hear all about the..."thing" at the "place." (Fluttershy squeaks) Rarity: (pouts) I'm the one who should be mobbed by strangers wherever I go! (door opens) (perks up) Welcome to Carousel Boutique! Yellow pony: Is she still here? We heard Fluttershy was here. Rarity: (irked) Sorry. You just missed her. (cheerily) But you're still in luck! I'm having a HUGE sale on some of my best designs! Yellow pony: (derisively) And you are...? Rarity: Rarity, of course. Yellow pony: Never heard of you. (Rarity growls under breath) Photo Finish: Obviously I, Photo Finish, am threeled to have found her. Fluttershy: (meekly) Photo Finish...? (camera shutters click) Photo Finish: She's a natural in front of ze camera. Fluttershy: Um...Photo Finish? Photo Finish: I only need to point and sht, and I capture...ZE MAGICS. (ponies chattering) Fluttershy: Photo Finish, I'm so sorry to interrupt. It's just that...I'm running late. Photo Finish: (hyperbolic gasp) How could I have forgotten?! Your appearance at the ballet opening! Everypony who ees anypony vill be zere! Fluttershy: Oh, actually, I'm supposed to be meeting my friend- Photo Finish: WE GO. Rarity: (whining) My hooves are getting positively pruny, I've been waiting here so long. Obviously Fluttershy's just too busy with her new (snide inflection) CAREER to spend time with her best friend. Twilight: I'm sure she just got tied up. Rarity: (sarcastically) Of course she did. She's a big, bright, shining star! (maliciously) I wish that star would BURN OUT. Twilight: (taken aback) Rarity! Fluttershy is your friend! Rarity: I know, I know! And I should be happy for her, but instead I'm just...nngh, jealous! Oh, please promise you won't tell her I feel this way. (pleading) Please, please, pleasepleasePLE-E-E-EASE! Twilight: You have my word. Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend. Pinkie Pie: FOREVEEEER! (Twilight shrieks) Twilight: Wow! You look great! Rarity: Fluttershy may be the one who's famous, but that doesn't mean I have to stop looking fabulous. Fluttershy: Rarity, I'm so sorry I'm- Oh, no. She's already gone, isn't she? Twilight: Sorry. Fluttershy: Oh, I can't believe this. I'm so frustrated I could just scream. (inhales sharply, squeaks very softly) Twilight: Feel better? Fluttershy: (sighs) No. Can I tell you something? Twilight: Of course. Fluttershy: You promise not to tell Rarity? Twilight: I swear. Fluttershy: Pinkie Pie swear? Twilight: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my (pokes eye) OOWW! Fluttershy: I don't like being a model. No, I HATE being a model. All this attention is awful, just awful. And I'm only doing it because Rarity told me I must. I must! I must! (weary sigh) I must... Twilight: Oh, really...? Well, if you wanna know the truth, Rarity- Fluttershy: Oh, what were you about to say? Pinkie Pie: (ominously) Foreveeeer! Twilight: (hastily) Nothing! Twilight: I was just thinking. If you really don't like being a model, you could always quit. Fluttershy: Oh, no. I could never do such a thing. Rarity would be devastated. Twilight: But Rarity told me- (Twilight gasps) (Pinkie Pie chomps apple slowly and deliberately) Pinkie Pie: (swallows, cheerily) Mmm, juicy! (Twilight sighs heavily) Fluttershy: (moans) If only all these ponies didn't like me so much. Photo Finish wouldn't want me to model anymore. She'd find somepony else with "ze magics." Twilight: (resigned) I guess you're right. (epiphany) You're right. You're right you're right you're RIGHT! (ponies gasping) Pink-haired pony: It's Fluttershy! (cacophony of pony chatter) Twilight: Don't you see? On her own, Fluttershy could NEVER do something unattractive. But if I used my magic to help her do something unattractive at her next fashion show, noone will ever want her to model again! And if Fluttershy no longer has to be a model, Rarity will no longer have to be jealous of her. And I'LL no longer have to keep their secrets! It's the perfect plan! (claps hooves) You can't tell anyone about it. (begging) Promise me you won't tell anyone? Twilight: (confused) So...you DO promise? Or you don't? Pinkie Pie: Uh, YES! (rapidly) Obviously, that's why I zipped my mouth closed, then locked it with a key, then dug a hole, then buried the key, then built a house atop the hole where I buried the key, then moved the house atop the hole! Twilight: (sarcastically) Obviously. (ponies chattering, bass-heavy fashion show music playing) Fluttershy: You really think it'll work? Twilight: They love you for being you! So all I have to do is make you not be you! Just leave it to me. (ponies chattering) Rarity: Guess it's time to see what all the fuss is about. (Fluttershy grunts) (music abruptly stops, ponies gasp) (bizarre noises, Fluttershy shrieks repeatedly) (ponies gasp, Photo Finish faints) (ponies gasp) (Fluttershy yelps) (ponies gasp) (ponies chatter) (Fluttershy barks like a dog) (ponies gasp and gag) Rarity: Oh, no. (Fluttershy brays like a donkey) (ponies gasp) Yellow pony: Get her off the stage! Blue-haired pony: She's an embarrassment to all things fashion! Photo Finish: I, Photo Finish, haff made a terrible mistake! (ponies chattering) Rarity: (applauding) Bravo! I say, bravo! (Rarity applauding) Lavender pony: "Bravo?!" Who could POSSIBLY say "bravo" to that HORRID display? Rarity: Such attitude! Such pizazz! Rarity: She's invented an entirely new kind of modeling! Bravo! Lavender pony: Who is saying these things?! Pink pony: It's HER. The unicorn in the gorgeous cape and headdress. Lavender pony: Now, THAT is a pony that clearly knows a thing or two about fashion. Well, if THAT fabulous pony likes it, then I do, too! BRAVO! (crowd joins in applause and cheering) (Fluttershy moans) Fluttershy: This is awful, just awful! Somehow, I've become MORE popular than ever. Oh, I'm so frustrated I could just KICK something! (vase wobbles lightly) If only Rarity didn't want me to be a model so badly. Twilight: Ugh! But Rarity- (plugs own mouth) Rarity: Fluttershy! Are you all right?! Fluttershy: (strained) I'm great! I'm a super famous fashion model! Why wouldn't I be great? Twilight: Because you ha-! (plugs mouth, mumbles incoherently) Rarity: Out there on the runway, everyone was turning on you, and... (voice breaking) Oh...Oh, Fluttershy. It's so awful...I wanted them to. Fluttershy: You did?! Twilight: Of COURSE she did! Because-! (plugs mouth with fruit) Rarity: I'M JEALOUS! I wanted all the attention, and instead it was going to you! I even started hoping that you would do something silly so your modeling career would be over. But then, when it started happening, all I could think was how could I want you to fail at something you love so much? Twilight: But...Fluttershy doesn't-! (grunts) Fluttershy: Love? Oh, Rarity. I hate being a model. Rarity: You do? Fluttershy: More than anything. Rarity: Then why did you keep doing it? Fluttershy: I was afraid if I quit, you'd be mad at me for not wanting to "shine all over Equestria." Rarity: And I thought if I told you how jealous I was of your success, you'd think I was a terrible friend! Fluttershy: Never. Rarity: All this time! Fluttershy: If we'd just told each other the truth. Rarity: I promise never to keep my feelings a secret again. Fluttershy: Me, too. Rarity and Fluttershy: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. (both giggle) Photo Finish: You were brilliant. BRILLIANT! I've already got six photo sh**t lined up for tomorrow ALONE! Fluttershy: I'm sorry, Photo Finish, but I don't think I'll be able to make any of them. Photo Finish: Vaaaat? Rarity and Fluttershy: We go! (brohoof) (Rarity and Fluttershy giggle) Photo Finish: Vat has just happened...? Twilight: SPIKE HAS A CRUSH ON RARITY! Pinkie Pie: (sighs) And you were doing so well. Fluttershy: Now this is a wonderful way to spend an afternoon. Rarity: Isn't it, though? Twilight: "Dear Princess Celestia, Being a good friend means being able to keep a secret. But you should never be afraid to share your true feelings with a good friend." Did you get all that, Spike? Spike: (indignantly) No. I did not. I still can't believe you told someone about my secret feelings for Rarity! Twilight: You're right. That was wrong of me, and I'm very sorry. Spike: Apology accepted. Twilight: NOW will you take down my letter to Princess Celestia? Spike: I would love to! (dreamily) But I'm a little busy at the moment. (Twilight sighs) (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x20 - Green Isn't Your Color"}	foreverdreaming
Sweetie Belle: (gulps, trembling) Are you sure about this, Scootaloo? I've never even HEARD of a pony zip-lining before... Scootaloo: (confidently) Neither have I, but Spike told me it was AWESOME! (ponies screaming) (ponies screaming, crash) (Scootaloo grunts, screams) (Sweetie Belle grunts) (Applebloom yelps, all three crash into ground and grunt) Applebloom: (weakly) See anything? Scootaloo: (dejectedly) Tree sap and pine needles, but no cutie mark. Sweetie Belle: Plan B? Scootaloo: Yeah. You know where we can find a cannon at this hour? (helmet clatters to ground) It's no use. No matter what we try, we always end up without our cutie marks. And surprisingly often, covered in tree sap. Sweetie Belle: Maybe we should do something less dangerous. Like pillow testing, or flower sniffing. (water splashes) Applebloom: This town is full o'ponies who have their cutie marks. Why don't we ask THEM how they did it? Sweetie Belle: That's a great, SAFE idea. Scootaloo: Yeah! And we can start with the coolest pony in Ponyville! Applebloom: Applejack! Sweetie Belle: Rarity! Scootaloo: Come on, guys. I said, "Cool!" You know who I'm talking about. She's fast. She's tough. (slams bucket) She's not afraid of ANYTHING. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle: ...Pinkie Pie? Scootaloo: No! The greatest flier ever to come out of Cloudsdale! Applebloom and Sweetie Belle: Fluttershy? Scootaloo: No! Rainbow Dash! Applebloom: Oh, yeah! That makes much more sense! Sweetie Belle: Of course! Scootaloo: Let's do it. Let's find out how Rainbow Dash earned her cutie mark! Applebloom and Sweetie Belle: YEAH! (double high-hoof, splat) (ponies struggling and grunting, sap stretching) (all three groan) (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends (brakes squealing) Applejack: (echoing shout) GET BACK HERE, YA THIEVIN' VARMINTS! Applebloom: Thievin' what, now? (Applejack pants, all scream, crash) Applejack: Applebloom?! Applebloom: Hey, sis, how'd you get yer cutie mark? Applejack: ...I never told you that story? Scootaloo: Hey! I thought we were gonna ask Rainbow Dash! Applebloom: We need all the help we can get! Scootaloo: Ugh, fine. Applejack: Why, sh*t. I was just a li'l filly, even littler than y'all... (flashback wipe) Applejack: (voice-over) I didn't wanna spend my life at a muddy ol' apple farm. I wanted to live the sophisticated life, like my Aunt'n'Uncle Orange. So I set out t'try my luck in the big city: Manehattan [Manhattan]! The most cosmopolitan city in all of Equestria. Snobbish male pony: Hey! Outta the way, ya rube! Applejack: (voice-over) I knew I'd find out who I was meant to be in Manehattan. (Applejack knocks on door, door opens) Filly Applejack: Aunt Orange! Uncle Orange! Thank y'all so much for lettin' me stay! (door slams shut) Aunt Orange: (patronizingly) "Y'all!" (snobbish laugh) Isn't she just the living end? Uncle Orange: (haughty chuckle) How quaint. Aunt Orange: Don't worry. We'll have you acting like a true Manehattanite in no time. (ponies chattering) Stallion: And how are you finding good old Manehattan? Filly Applejack: (eloquently) Oh, it's simply divine. Aunt Orange: Very well said, my dear. Filly Applejack: Although, I must admit the city noise took some getting used to. Where I'm from, the nights are so quiet you seldom hear a peep until the roosters wake you. White mare: The...what? Stallion: I say, my dear, what in the world is a..."rooster?" (ponies chuckling condescendingly) Filly Applejack: (thinking in normal voice) What's he talkin' about? What do I say? I don't wanna look like a fool... Server: Dinner is served. Filly Applejack: (aloud, eloquently) Thank goodness. Being a city pony's hard work. I'm so hungry I could eat a- (normal voice, morosely) Cock-a-doodle-doo... Oh, I wonder what Granny Smith and Big Macintosh are up to... I bet they're applebuckin' their way through the Red Delicious trees. Oh, what I wouldn't give for just one bite... Applejack: (voice-over) I never felt so homesick in all my days as I did right then. (distant explsin) It was amazin'! A rainbow, pointin' right back towards...home. In that moment, it all became clear. I knew right then just who I was supposed t'be. That's when this here appeared. I've been happily workin' the farm ever since. (bunnies blow raspberries at Applejack) There they are! GET BACK HERE, YA THIEVIN' VARMINTS! Sweetie Belle: Aww, that was such a sweet story! Scootaloo: Sweet?! Try "sappy." (Scootaloo gags) Come on, we've gotta find Rainbow Dash and hear the COOL way to get a cutie mark! (vroom) (Applebloom and Sweetie Belle screaming) (brakes squeal, wheels snap off, Crusaders scream and crash into ground) Fluttershy: (gently) All right, little ones. This way, this way. You really should be more careful. Somepony could get hurt. Why are you in such a hurry, anyway? Scootaloo: We're trying to find Rainbow Dash so we can hear how she earned her cutie mark. Fluttershy: Oh! That would be interesting. You know, I wouldn't have gotten my cutie mark if it weren't for her. Scootaloo: (intrigued) Rainbow Dash?! Really?! Fluttershy: Oh, yes. It all started at Summer Flight Camp... (flashback) Fluttershy: (voice-over) You'd never guess, but when I was little, I was very shy. And a very weak flier. (Fluttershy struggles weakly) (Fluttershy yelps and flails about) (Fluttershy gasps) (Fluttershy snags flag and crashes, grunts) (Hoops and Dumbbell laughing) Colt Dumbbell: Nice going, "Klutzershy!" [Fluttershy] They oughta ground you permanently! Colt Hoops: HA! My baby brother can fly better than you! (Hoops and Dumbbell laughing) Fluttershy: (voice-over) It was the most humiliating moment of my life. And then, out of nowhere... (air whooshing past) Filly Rainbow Dash: Leave her alone! Colt Hoops: (mockingly) Ooh, what're you gonna do, "Rainbow Crash?" Filly Rainbow Dash: Keep makin' fun of her and find out! Colt Dumbbell: You think yer such a big sht? Why don't you prove it?! Filly Rainbow Dash: (goading) Whaddya have in mind? Colt Hoops: Yer goin' down! Filly Rainbow Dash: In history, maybe! See you boys at the finish line! (Fluttershy waves flag) (Fluttershy yelps, voice trembles as she spins) (Fluttershy screaming) (Fluttershy flailing legs) (Fluttershy screaming; soft thump) Filly Fluttershy: Huh? Fluttershy: (voice-over) I had never seen such beautiful creatures. Butterflies don't fly as high as my cloud home. And I'd never been near the ground before. (gentle piano intro plays) Filly Fluttershy: (singing) What is this place Filled with so many wonders? Casting its spell That I am now under (drum flourish) Squirrels in the trees And the cute little bunnies Birds flying free And bees with their honey (holds each note in turn) Ho~ney (music builds) (big band style) Oh, what a magical place And I owe it all to the pegasus race If I knew that ground had so much up its sleeve I'd have come here sooner, and never leave Yes, I. Love. Ev-ery-THIIIING! (holds final note) (song crescendos, ends) (distant explsin, aural shockwaves) (frantic croaking) (gentle acoustic guitar rendition of My Little Pony theme plays) (gently) Shh. It's okay. (hollow knocking, hollow echo) You can come out! (gurgling) Everything's okay. There's nothing to be afraid of. (quacking) Fluttershy: (voice-over) Somehow, I had the ability to communicate with the animals on a different level. Scootaloo: Waitwaitwait. What happened to Rainbow Dash?! What about the race?! Fluttershy: Oh! Well, I wasn't there, so I don't really know what happened. Scootaloo: Come on, Crusaders! We've gotta find her! Besides, I can't take any more singing. Sweetie Belle: Maybe my sister knows where she is. Bye, Fluttershy! Fluttershy: Bye, girls! Scootaloo: How did we get roped into THIS?! (pouting) We'll NEVER hear Rainbow Dash's story! Rarity: Are you girls STILL obsessing over your cutie marks? Sweetie Belle: Of course! Most of the fillies at school already have theirs... Rarity: Mm, I know how you feel. For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why I didn't have mine. (flashback) (stage playing music) Teacher: (nasal voice) Well done, Rarity. Your costumes are very nice. Filly Rarity: "NICE?!" They need to be SPECTACULAR! And the performance is tomorrow! (sewing machine whirring) Rarity: (voice-over) I tried every trick I could think of, but nothing seemed to work. The costumes just weren't right, and the play opened that night! Filly Rarity: (dejectedly) Maybe I'm not meant to be a fashionista after all... (horn poofs, Rarity shrieks) What's going on?! (drags along ground) Rarity: (voice-over) I had no idea where my horn was taking me. But unicorn magic doesn't happen without a reason. I knew this had to do with my love of fashion and maybe even my cutie mark! (Rarity grunts) Rarity: (overly dramatic voice-over) I knew that this was...MY DESTINY! Filly Rarity: A ROCK?! THAT'S my destiny?! What is your PROBLEM, HORN?! I followed you all the way out here for A ROCK?! (grumbles) DUMB ROCK! (loud explsin, air whooshing, Rarity screams) (rock cracks and splits) (Rarity gasps) (stage playing same song as before) (audience "oohs") Scootaloo: (frustrated) ARRRGH! These namby-pamby stories aren't getting us any closer to our cutie marks! They're all about "finding who you really are" and boring stuff like that! Rarity: Yes, Scootaloo. That's exactly- Scootaloo: (oblivious) Come on, girls! We need action! We need Rainbow Dash! (door slams shut) Twilight: As a young filly in Canterlot, I always wanted to go to the Summer Sun Celebration, (Scootaloo groans) where Princess Celestia raises the sun. (flashback) Twilight: (voice-over) And I saw the most amazing, most wonderful thing I've ever seen. (fanfare) (fanfare) (Celestia flaps wings, ponies "ooh" and "ahh") (ponies cheering) Twilight: (voice-over) I poured myself into learning everything I could about magic. (Twilight grunts intensely, page turns) (Twilight gasps) My parents decided to enroll me in Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. It was a dream come true! Except for one thing... I had to pass an entrance exam! (wooden cart clattering) Female proctor: Well, Miss Sparkle? (Twilight chuckles nervously) Female proctor: Well, Miss Sparkle? (male proctor coughs impatiently) (Twilight strains, grunts) (Twilight groans) (male proctor yawns ostentatiously) Female proctor: We don't have all day. Twilight: (voice-over) I knew it was the most important day of my life, that my entire future would be affected by the outcome of this day, and I was about to blow it! (magical sparks, Twilight strains and grunts) Filly Twilight: (morosely) I'm sorry I wasted your time. (loud explsin) (magical noises, poof) (Spike yawns) (Twilight shrieks, poof) (crackling explsin) (magical poof) (magical poof) (humming, magical poof) (roof shatters) (intermittent sparking) (crackling, Twilight grunts) (humming subsides) (several poofs) (Spike gurgles) Celestia: Twilight Sparkle. Filly Twilight: Oh, I'm so sorry. I- Celestia: You have a very special gift. I don't think I've EVER come across a unicorn with your raw abilities. Filly Twilight: Huh? Celestia: But you need to learn to tame these abilities through focused study. Filly Twilight: Huh?! Celestia: Twilight Sparkle, I'd like to make you my own personal protégé here at the school. Filly Twilight: HUH?! Celestia: ...Well? Filly Twilight: (ecstatic) YEEEES! Celestia: (amused) One other thing, Twilight. Filly Twilight: More? (crash) My cutie mark! (ecstatic) Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes... Twilight: (continuing from flashback) ...yesyesyesyes... Applebloom: Okay, okay! Sweetie Belle: We're happy for you, Twilight. (Twilight continues) Scootaloo: Yeah, thrilled! (under breath) Let's get out of here while we still can. Twilight: ...yesyesyes, YEEEEEES! Male pony: Uh...you okay? Twilight: (giggles nervously) Um...yes. (motor revving noises) Scootaloo: Ugh, why don't we EVER smash into Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie: You're looking for Rainbow Dash? If I was her, I'd be at Sugarcube Corner! Of course, if I was anyone, I'd be at Sugarcube Corner! Hey! I have an idea! Wanna go to Sugarcube Corner?! Sweetie Belle: Well, we're sort of looking for Rainbow Dash so we can hear how she got her cutie mark. Pinkie Pie: Cutie mark?! Come with me and I'll tell you how I got mine! Scootaloo: (resigned groan) Why not? Pinkie Pie: All RIGHT! (flashback) Pinkie Pie: (voice-over) My sisters and I were raised on a rock farm outside Ponyville. We spent our days working the fields. There was no talking. There was no smiling. (sighs) There were only rocks. We were in the south field, preparing to rotate the rocks to the east field, when all of a sudden... (distant explsin, air whooshes past) I'd never felt joy like that before. It felt so good, I just wanted to keep smiling forever! And I wanted everyone I knew to smile, too, but rainbows don't come along that often. I wondered, "How else could I create some smiles?" (rooster crows) Mr. Pie: We'd better harvest the rocks from the south field. (loud band music) Mrs. Pie: (sternly) Pinkamena Diane Pie, is that you?! Filly Pinkie Pie: Mom! I need you and dad and the sisters to come in here, quick! SURPRISE! You like it?! It's called...a party! (party blower blows, Pinkie's family gasps) (ponies' lips quivering) (crestfallen) Oh...you don't like it... (gasps) You like it! I'm so happy! Pinkie Pie: And that's how Equestria was made! Scootaloo: (brakes squeal) Wha...huh?! Applebloom: Look! We're here! Pinkie Pie: Maybe on the way home, I can tell you the story of how I got my cutie mark! It's a gem. Sweetie Belle: Oh, come on. She's just being Pinkie Pie. (Scootaloo sighs) Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash! You're here! Rainbow Dash: (smugly) I hear YOU'RE looking for my cutie mark story? Scootaloo: (sighs) You have NO idea what I've been through today to hear that story! Rainbow Dash: It all happened during the race at Flight Camp... (flashback) Rainbow Dash: (voice-over) ...where I stood alone, against all odds, to defend Fluttershy's honor. (Rainbow Dash snorts) (Fluttershy yelps repeatedly) (Dumbbell crashes softly into cloud column) Rainbow Dash: (voice-over) I'd never flown like THAT before. The freedom was unlike anything I'd ever felt. (excited prattle) The speed, the adrenaline, the wind in my mane... I liked it...a lot. (Rainbow Dash yelps) Colt Hoops: Heh! Later, Rainbow Crash! Filly Rainbow Dash: Hey! Rainbow Dash: (voice-over) Turns out the only thing I liked more than flying fast... (Rainbow Dash whooshes past, Hoops screams) ...was WINNING! (air screaming) (Sonic Rainboom) Most people thought that the Sonic Rainboom was just an old mare's tale. But that day, the day I discovered racing, I proved that the legends were true. I made the impossible happen! (ponies cheer) Rainbow Dash: (smugly) And THAT, little ones, is how you earn a cutie mark. Cutie Mark Crusaders: Whooooa.... Fluttershy: Wait a second. I heard that explsin. And I saw the rainbow, too! Rainbow Dash, if you hadn't scared the animals, I never would have learned I could communicate with them and gotten my cutie mark! Pinkie Pie: I heard that boom! And right afterwards, there was an amazing rainbow that taught me to smile! Applejack: When I got my cutie mark, I saw a rainbow that pointed me home. I bet it was your Sonic Rainboom! Rarity: There was an explsin I could never explain when I got my cutie mark! Twilight: This is uncanny! If that explsin didn't happen when it did, I would've blown my entrance exam! Rainbow Dash, I think you helped me earn MY cutie mark, too! (Rainbow Dash grunts) Pinkie Pie: We ALL owe our cutie marks to YOU! Fluttershy: Do you realize what this means? All of us had a special connection before we even met! Rarity: We've been BFF's forever and we didn't even know it! Applejack: Come here, y'all. (ponies voicing mutual affection) Applebloom and Sweetie Belle: Aww! Scootaloo: EWW! Scootaloo: Give me a break! Come on, Crusaders! Maybe we just need to try zip-lining again. (Scootaloo grunts, sighs wearily) Fluttershy: Hey! How about a song? (ponies agreeing) Scootaloo: (echoing) NOOOOOOOOOO! Twilight: (voice-over) "Dear Princess Celestia, Today I learned something amazing. Everypony everywhere has a special magical connection with her friends, maybe even before she's met them. If you're feeling lonely and you're still searching for your true friends, just look up in the sky. Who knows? Maybe you and your future best friends are all looking at the same rainbow!" Spike: Gross! When did YOU get so cheesy? Twilight: Just write it, Spike. (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x23 - The Cutie Mark Chronicles"}	foreverdreaming
Pinkie Pie: (squeals) I...can't...believe...the Grand...Galloping...Gala...is...tonight! (Pinkie Pie bouncing on trampoline) Twilight: Pinkie! Please stop shouting! I'm trying to concentrate. Rarity: (chastising) Pinkie Pie! Stop that right now. It's time to prepare for the Gala, and I refuse to let you put on your new dress when you're all sweaty. Pinkie Pie: What's Twilight doing? Spike: She's got an awesome magic spell she's been working on for the Gala. Rarity: Where ARE the others? It's getting late. Applejack: Hold yer horses, girl. We're here. Twilight: Perfect. I'm ready! Rainbow Dash: For what? Twilight: All right, Spike. Pinkie Pie: An apple! Are we having PIE? Spike: Shh! Watch! (apple makes stretching noises, poofs) (ponies voicing awe and excitement) Twilight: Thanks! But that's just the start. Fluttershy, did you bring your friends? Fluttershy: Yes. Will they be safe, Twilight? Twilight: You have my word. (magical humming, poof) Twilight: Ta-da! (ponies unimpressed) Twilight: (unfazed) Neat, huh? And don't worry, they'll be mice again at midnight. Fluttershy: Opalescence! NO! (Opalescence hisses, "horses" 'squeak-neigh') Twilight: WAIT! COME BACK! Those horses were supposed to pull our carriage. How will we get to the Gala?! Rarity: (melodramatic sarcasm) WhatEVER shall we do?! (Rarity clears throat ostentatiously) (flirtatiously) Um, would you boys mind pulling our carriage to the Gala? Twilight: (sheepishly) Oh. Yeah. Right. (theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah, (My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be (My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah (My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends (dryers humming) Pinkie Pie: Ooh! (dryer blasts air) Rarity: Heavens, no! We're getting dressed! Applejack: "Dressed?" Uh, beg pardon, Rarity, but uh...we don't normally wear clothes. (Rarity groans ostentatiously) Rarity: (haughtily) I'm sorry, Spike. Some of us DO have standards. Spike: I still can't believe we're gonna be at Canterlot tonight. Our home town, Twilight! And the best part is that we all get to hang out together ALL NIGHT LONG! Rainbow Dash: (hesitantly) Uh, I-I don't know, Spike... Rarity: We'll just have to see. Applejack: (spits) We're gonna be a mite busy. Pinkie Pie: Busy having FUN! (mane poofs) Spike: (crestfallen) Oh. Okay. Twilight: Don't worry, Spike. We'll all get to spend some time together. Spike: Great! 'Cause I planned out my insider's tour of Canterlot! I gotta show Rarity the crown jewels and Applejack the princess' golden apple tree. And Pinkie, we GOTTA go to my favorite donut shop! (ponies conversing indistinctly, ignoring Spike) Then let's get moving! HYAH! Male pony: (very deep voice) Ex-CUSE me? Spike: (stammering) Um...I... Other male pony: If you weren't friends with our neighbor Rarity...hmph! (waterfall gushing) (orchestral fanfare) Spike: Whoa! You all look...amazing! (orchestral intro plays) Twilight: I can't believe we're finally here! (orchestral intro) With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this... THE BEST NIGHT EVER! (fireworks) Twilight: (singing) At the Gala [At the Gala] (gentle string melody) Fluttershy: At the Gala, in the garden I'm going to see them all All the creatures I'll befriend them at the Gala [At the Gala] All the birdies and the critters They will love me, big and small We'll become good friends forever Fluttershy: Right here at the GALA! (holds note over chorus) Chorus: All our dreams will come true right here at the Gala At the Gala Applejack: (with choral backup) At the Gala [It's amazing] I will sell them [Better hurry] All my appletastic treats [Yummy, yummy] Hungry ponies [They'll be snacking] They will buy them [Bringing money] Caramel apples, apple sweets [Gimme some] And I'll earn a lot of money Applejack: For the Apple FAMILY! (holds not) Chorus: All our dreams and our hopes, from now until hereafter All that we've been wishing for will happen at the Gala At the Gala (elegant string tune) Rarity: At the Gala, all the royals They will meet fair Rarity They will see I'm just as regal at the Gala [At the Gala] I will find him, my Prince Charming And how gallant he will be He will treat me like a lady Rarity: Tonight at the GALA! (holds note) Chorus: This is what we've waited for, to have the best night ever Each of us will live our dreams tonight at the Gala At the Gala (trumpet fanfare, jets whooshing) (driving, percussion-heavy rhythm) Rainbow Dash: Been dreaming, I've been waiting To fly with those brave ponies The Wonderbolts, their daring tricks Spinning round and having kicks Perform for crowds of thousands They'll shower us with diamonds The Wonderbolts will see me Rainbow Dash: Right here at the GALA! (holds note) Chorus: All we've longed for, all we've dreamed, our Happy Ever After (fireworks) Finally will all come true right here at the Grand Gala At the Gala (jaunty, bouncy tune) Pinkie Pie: I am here at the Grand Gala For it is the best party But the one thing it was missing Was a pony named Pinkie For I am the best at parties All the ponies will agree Ponies playing, ponies dancing Pinkie Pie: With me at the Grand GALA! (holds note) Chorus: Happiness and laughter at the Gala At the Gala (orchestral flourish) (regal orchestral melody with choral backup) Twilight: At the Gala [At the Gala] With the princess [With the princess] Is where I'm going to be [She will be] We will talk all about magic And what I've learned and seen [She's seen] It is going to be so special Twilight: As she takes time just for ME! (holds note) Chorus: This will be the best night ever (music building in intensity) All: Into the Gala we must go We're ready now, we're all aglow Into the Gala, let's go in And have the best night ever Into the Gala, now's the time We're ready and we look divine Fluttershy: [Into the Gala] Meet new friends Applejack: [Into the Gala] Sell some apples Rarity: [Into the Gala] Find my prince Rainbow Dash: [Prove I'm great] As a Wonderbolt is Fluttershy: To meet Applejack: To sell Rarity: To find Rainbow Dash: To prove Pinkie Pie: To whoop Twilight: To talk (music builds to crescendo) All: Into the Gala, into the Gala And we'll have the best night EVER! (holding note) (fireworks create percussive claptrap finish) AT THE GALA! (song ends) Spike: YEAH! This IS gonna be the best night ever! You know why? 'Cause we're all gonna spend time at the Gala to- (Spike yelps as he spins around) -gether... (dejected) Or not. Twilight: Princess Celestia! Celestia: Twilight! It is so lovely to see my star student. Twilight: Oh, I'm so excited to be here! We have so much to catch up on! Celestia: Well, I want you right by my side the entire evening so we'll have plenty of time together. Twilight: That's just what I was hoping you'd say! (Rarity gasps) (Rarity squeals with delight) Rarity: (to self) Hurry, Rarity! Oh, but not too fast. But I don't want to lose him-WAIT! Have to play it cool.. Oh, but don't be cold! (gushing) I can't lose him, I can't! He's everything I've imagined! (wind blows, orchestral flourish plays) (dreamily) Even better than I imagined... (bird chirps) Fluttershy: Oh my, a meadowlark! (shrill whistling) (gasps) I think she's calling to me! It's exactly what I wished for! (Fluttershy vocalizes; whistle responds) (Applejack kicks cart hard) (cart unfolds loudly) Applejack: Howdy, partner. Y'hungry? Soarin: As a horse! Applejack: Well, whatcha hankerin' for? Caramel apple? Apple pie? Apple fritter? Apple fries? Soarin: (excited) I'll take that big apple pie! Applejack: Well, thank you kindly, sir! YEEHAW! In my first minute, I made my first sale! Just like I expected! (ponies chattering) Spitfire: Always hungry after a show, eh, Soarin? Soarin: Heh, yeah! (gasps) Soarin: (distorted, slow-motion) MY PIE! You saved it! Thanks. Rainbow Dash: (humbled) Hey, no prob! Spitfire: Hey! I know you. You're the pony that saved us in Cloudsdale and won the Best Flier Competition. Rainbow Dash: Hey, yeah! Name's Rainbow Dash. Spitfire: Well, Rainbow Dash, looks like your skills saved us again. (chuckling) Or, well, at least they saved Soarin's apple pie. (Soarin chewing loudly and "om nom nom"-ing) Wanna come hang out with us? Rainbow Dash: (feigning nonchalance) Sure. Why not? (fangirlish squealing) I'm...hanging...with...the WONDERBOLTS! (squeals, giggles) Pinkie Pie: (excited squealing) The shiny dance floor... the pretty party ponies... Ooh, the fancy band! Shiny! Pretty! Fancy! (bizarre ascending pitch noise) GOTTA DANCE! (tune of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow") (singing) I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala I'm at the Grand Galloping Galaaaa, It's all I ever dreamed (band missing cues on instruments as Pinkie Pie sings) It's all I ever dreamed, WOO-HOO! It's all I ever dreamed, YIPPEE! (pitch on "Gala" ascends to very shrill crescendo) I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala-a-a-A-A... (song ends, awkward silence, pony coughs) (sheepishly) It's all I've ever...dreamed? Blueblood: (refined, gallant speech) Well, hello. I am Prince Blueblood. Rarity: (bashfully) I am...Rarity. Oh, my, what a LOVELY rose. Blueblood: You mean...THIS rose? (narcissistic) Thank you. It goes with my eyes. (Rarity moans) (Fluttershy vocalizes, whistle responds) Fluttershy: (sighing happily) My little meadowlark is right around the bend! (gardener whistles same tune as response) Fluttershy: Was that YOU? Gardener: (gruff, unrefined tone) Yep! I lurve whistlin' while I work. (whistles) Fluttershy: (flustered) Oh! Yes...well...excuse me... (animal noises, Fluttershy gasps) I see a toco toucan and a spider monkey! (gasps) Oh! And is that a wallaroo [wallaby + kangaroo]? (self-admonitory) Oh, Fluttershy. You're such a loudmouth. (ponies chattering) Rainbow Dash: (yelling over crowd) Hey, Spitfire! You ever done a raincloud double backflip? You ever soared past lightning? It's awesome! Celestia: Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala. Twilight: Princess! I've been so excited to spend time with you, and- Celestia: Yes, me too, Twi- Oh, good evening! Welcome to the Gala. Which is why I- Ladies! Lovely to see you again. (Twilight sighs) Twilight: Looks like getting to talk with the princess is going to be a magic trick in itself... Applejack: (content) First minute, first sale. (progressively dispirited) Second...fourth...sixth... (flatly) Sixtieth minute... No sales. (sighs) This ain't what I expected ayt [at] all. Pinkie Pie: (singing dejectedly) I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala... (talking sadly) ...and it's NOT what I dreamed. Rarity: This isn't at all what I imagined... (Celestia greeting guests indistinctly) Twilight: This isn't what I hoped... Rainbow Dash: This isn't "hanging out." Fluttershy: This isn't what I wished for... Twilight: No! \| Rarity: I've waited all my LIFE- Fluttershy: -for this moment! Pinkie Pie: And I'm not going to- Applejack: -let it slip by! Rainbow Dash: If it's the LAST thing I do- Twilight: -I'm gonna make this... All six: The BEST NIGHT EVER! Fluttershy: (hushed) I just have to be more bold, like Twilight says. Fluttershy: (mouth full, loudly) I'm SHO sorry to have scared you, my friendsh! (theatrically loud) But I'm leaving now, sho you can ALL come out! (crunching, crashing noises) GOTCHA! It's okay, I promise not to hurt ya. I just wanna be your- Fluttershy: ...friend? Gardener: Mm! Sounds good t'me! Rainbow Dash: (to self) Come on, Rainbow! If they don't notice you, you gotta MAKE 'em notice you! (Rainbow Dash whistles innocently) (crash) (male pony screams) (male pony flails, lands on Rainbow Dash) (pony grunts) Rarity: (to self) Just give him a chance, Rarity. His princely side is sure to come out if you're just patient. Blueblood: Miss Rarity! Stop! Rarity: (flirtatiously) Oh! Prince Blueblood! How chivalrous. Blueblood: One would hate to slip. Rarity: (flattered) Yes, "one" certainly would. (giggles) Blueblood: "One's" cloak should take care of the problem. Rarity: Oh, of COURSE it will! (Pinkie Pie gasps) (ponies stop playing instruments while Pinkie Pie whispers to them) (pony blows tuba) (Pinkie Pie taps microphone) Pinkie Pie: (amplified) Come on, everypony! I know what'll make you shake those groove thangs! (music plays, Pinkie Pie sings to tune of "Hokey Pokey") You reach your right hoof in You reach your right hoof out You reach your right hoof in And you shake it all about (Twilight's hoof pulses like a heartbeat) You do the Pony Pokey Meeting lots of folks with clout That's what I'm talking about! You step your left hoof in (Applejack kicks stand) You pull it right back out You step your left hoof in But you better help him out You do the Pony Pokey But you find a different route That's what it's all about! You kick your back leg in (Rainbow Dash kicks table) You pull your back leg out You reach your back leg in Just be brave and have no doubt You do the Pony Pokey Feelin' like you're gonna pout That's what I'm singing about! You tilt your head in You tilt your head out You tilt your head in And you shake it all about You do the Pony Pokey Even though your date's a lout You're better off without! (door slams on Rarity) (Fluttershy crashing into ground repeatedly) You stomp your whole self in You stomp your whole self out You stomp your whole self in And you stomp yourself about You do the Pony Pokey And you give a little shout [Fluttershy: COME OUT!] That's what I'm talking about! (piano playing chaotically) You do the Pony Pokey You do the Pony Pokey You do the Pony Pokey And that's what it's all about! YEAH! (song ends) Snobbish mare: Young lady, this is not THAT kind of party! Pinkie Pie: Ooooooooh! They don't want a "party!" These ponies want a "PARRR-TAY!" Rarity: Two apple fritters, please. Applejack: Two apple fritters, comin' right up! That'll be four bits. Rarity: (suggestively) Ahem? Blueblood: (crossly) Ahem. Rarity: (irritated) AHEM. Blueblood: (domineering) AHEM! Rarity: (sighs, sarcastically) I'm going to have to pay, aren't I? Applejack: It's okay, Rarity. I gotcha covered. Rarity: Thank you, Applejack! (slighting) At least SOMEPONY here has good manners... (Blueblood chews fritter, gags and vomits) Blueblood: (disgusted) Ugh! Fritters? Dumplings? Caramel apples?! My royal lips have touched common CARNIVAL FARE! I'm going to the buffet for some...hors d'oeuvres. Applejack: Well, no WONDER nopony wants my food! They're fillin' up on all those fancy-schmancy vittles! Well, my down-home apples are PLENTY good enough fer this crowd! I'll just dress 'em up a bit and prove it to 'em. Fluttershy: (tinged with insanity) I'll catch you yet, my pretties. (progressively more nefarious) Oh, yes. As soon as one of you BIRDS or MONKEYS or BEARS touches this net... You'll be MINE! MIIINE! (excessively nefarious laughter, thunder) (Fluttershy yelps) (bass thumping loudly) Pinkie Pie: Come on, everypony! You wanted a PAR-TAY? Now let's PAR-TAY! (drumroll) (bass gets louder) Yeah! Unh! Now THAT'S a b*at! Yeah! Come on, dance! YEAH! WOO-HOO! Applejack: Okay, all you high-class ponies. Here's a highfalutin' apple cake for all your (disdainfully) hoity-toity tastebuds. Pinkie Pie: STAGE DIIIIVE! (crash) (Rarity and Blueblood both scream) (cake splatters on Rarity) (music abruptly stops, Rarity growls in frustration) Rarity: (enraged) YOU, sir, are the most UNCHARMING prince I have EVER MET! It seems that the only thing "ROYAL" about you is that you are a ROYAL PAIN! Blueblood: (foppishly) E-ewww! Stay back! I just had myself groomed! Rarity: (mockingly) Afraid to get DIRTY?! (Rarity flails angrily; Blueblood yelps flamboyantly and crashes into pedestal) (loud, ominous creaking) Rainbow Dash: This is my chance! (creaking) YES! Wh-whoooa! (statue impacts column) (column buckling) (columns smash into each other in turn, then crash into ground) (statue cracks and shatters) Twilight: (to self) Well...it can't get any worse... (loud approaching rumble, doors slam open) (animals screeching in fear) Fluttershy: (frenzied, echoing shouting) You're...going to LOVE MEEEE! (pandemonium) (Twilight mumbling incoherently, gasps) Celestia: Run. (Twilight whistles) (pandemonium continues) (Rarity's slipper clinks on steps) Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Rarity, your glass slipper! Now your prince is SURE to find you! Rarity: (shrieks) NO! (grunts, smashes slipper) LET'S GO! Spike: (slams cup on counter) Hey. Pony Joe. Another donut. Pony Joe: (gruff New Yorker bartender voice) Don't you think you've had enough? Spike: (slams cup, insistently) Another donut! Extra sprinkles. Pony Joe: Twilight Sparkle. (laughs) Long time no see! Spike: Hey, how was the Gala? How was your "Best Night Ever?" Spike: ...That sounds like the WORST night ever! Ponies: IT WAS! (all laugh jovially) Twilight: I just hope Princess Celestia isn't upset with us for ruining the Gala. Celestia: THAT was the BEST Grand Galloping Gala EVER! All: Princess Celestia?! Twilight: Pardon me, Princess, but tonight was just...awful. Celestia: Oh, Twilight. The Grand Galloping Gala is ALWAYS awful. Twilight: (confused) It is...? Celestia: That is why I was thrilled you were all attending. I was hoping you could liven things up a bit. And while the evening may not have gone as you planned, I'm sure you'll agree that, in the end, it didn't turn out so bad for this group of friends. Twilight: You're right, Princess. Friends have a way of making even the worst of times into something pretty great. Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Hangin' out with friends! Fluttershy: Talking! Pinkie Pie: Laughing! Spike: (stroking ego) You mean, doing exactly what I wanted to do the whole time? Twilight: Yes, Spike. You were right. Applejack: As horrible as our night was... Rarity: Being together here has made it all better. Pinkie Pie: In fact, it's made it... All: THE BEST NIGHT EVER! (all laughing) (ending theme begins) My Little Pony My Little Pony (instrumental) My Little Pony, friends	{"type": "series", "show": "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "episode": "01x26 - The Best Night Ever"}	foreverdreaming
Street Libson: Captain. Captain: Agent Lisbon. Don't think we'll be needing you guys. We like the neighbour kid who found the body. Libson: Did he confess? Captain: Eh, he's a real squirrel. I'd say... Voice [off-screen]: Mercy's father would like to give a brief statement. Morgan: I just want to take a moment and thank everyone in law enforcement and all the volunteers who helped us in the search for our beloved daughter. The way that this entire community has come together to support me and Juniper in this terrible time has been a great comfort to us. And now I would just like to ask that you give us some time and space and privacy to grieve for our daughter... Tolliver's house Jane: Hello, Mrs Tolliver. Juniper: Who are you? Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm here to help you. Would you like a cup of tea? Juniper: Yes, I would. Thank you. Jane: You must be tired. Why don't you sit down? It's nice and quiet in here, isn't it? Quiet, soothing, calm. Calm. I've been watching you and your husband and I want you to know that I understand what you're feeling right now. Juniper: You have no idea. Believe me. Jane: I do. I know. I know and I want to help you. Juniper: You can't help me. What do you know? Jane: All sorts of things. You really only pretend to like skiing, right? Juniper: Yes, but... Jane: You're pleased that your best friend recently gained some weight, about ten pounds. You wish you'd been more adventurous when you were younger. You love India, but you've never been there. You have trouble sleeping. Your favourite colour is blue. Juniper: I don't understand. You're... you're psychic? Jane: No. Just paying attention. I used to make a good living pretending to be a psychic. I tell you this because I want you to understand there's no point hiding things from me. Juniper: Hiding what? Jane: You know what I see when I look at your husband? I see a warm, loving, generous man. A little vain maybe. Selfish. Controlling. But a decent man. Juniper: Yes. Jane: So why do you suspect him of mrder your daughter? Juniper: I don't. The McCluskey boy did it. Jane: Yes, that's what the police say. But you think they're wrong. Why? Juniper: I don't know, I don't know! I... Jane: Tell me. Juniper: Last year they had been so strange with each other. And neither one would admit that anything was wrong and I think that... I think that she tried to tell me once, and I didn't... I... God. Oh god. Jane: Did you ask him if he klled her? Juniper: What would he say? Jane: Most wives can tell when their husbands are lying. Juniper: Yes. Yes. I... I don't want tea. The McClusky boy did it. Jane: Maybe. Juniper: You think he did it too? Jane: I trust a mother's instinct. Morgan: June. There you are. Hi. Who are you? Jane: I'm the police. Did you kll your daughter? Morgan: How dare you?! Jane: I asked you a simple question, sir. Did you kll your daughter? Morgan: No, I did not kll my daughter! Now you get the hell out of my house! June? June, what's the matter with you? I'm going to have your badge! Jane: An innocent man would have punched me by now. Morgan: I am going to make life miserable for you! You come in here. You accost my wife. You cause trouble... June. June, honey, please... Jane: Honestly. It's not as bad as it looks. Lisbon: Mrs Tolliver. Mrs Tolliver. Palm Springs, California. Two weeks later Price: Then the sonofabitch eagles seventeen. Are you kidding me? On that course! A damn eagle. Tag: That course never suited you, Price. You'll do better in Orlando. We have a nice spot on the draw. Price: Well, I tell you what, Davis Love III can kiss my butt. Price: Alison? Alison! Palm Springs International Airport Van Pelt: Ah, sorry... Lisbon: You checked luggage? What, are you on vacation? Van Pelt: No ma'am. Won't do it again. Lisbon: When your trousseau arrives, pick up the second rental and go direct to the Sheriff's department. Hustle us up a couple of rooms, furniture and phone lines. Van Pelt: Yes, ma'am. Lisbon: Come on, let's go. Riverside County Morgue. Jane: Morning everybody. How was your flight? Lisbon: Go away. You're on suspension. Jane: Thank you. [He runs to catch up with Lisbon and walks beside her.] Mandated leave. Ends next week. Lisbon: So come back next week. Jane: Hot enough for you? Lisbon: Which one of you jackasses told him? It was you, wasn't it Cho. Cho: Yes, it was. Jane: Of course he called me. It's Red John. You can't keep me out of this. Why would you want to? Lisbon: You got a man klled. There's consequences. Jane: A man that mrder his daughter because she wouldn't have sex with him anymore. Lisbon: You didn't know that. You did not know that. If she hadn't left a diary... Jane: But she did, though. Be reasonable. This is my case. Lisbon: Your case. Jane: Red John is mine. Lisbon: Red John doesn't belong to anyone. Jane: He belongs to me. Lisbon: It's not my call. Rules are rules. Come back next week. Don't let this man past. Boss... M.E.: We have Gregory Tannen, Caucasian, male, 43, single. We haven't opened him up yet, but burn marks... Jane: Sorry I went over your head. I'll redeem myself, I promise. Lisbon: If you want redemption, be silent. Jane: Okay, I can really do that. Lisbon: Shh. Sorry. M.E.: ...but burn marks here indicate that the victim was subdued with a stun gn, standard civilian model, by the look of it. Death appears to be caused by several blows to the back of the skull, consistent with a bloodied golf club found at the scene. The female is Alison Randolph, 27, married, no children. They were found at her listed residence. TOD looks to be early Saturday evening. On Alison we have the same stun gn marks, followed by binding with tight black plastic ligatures, frenzied cutting and sab asault to the torso and subsequent abuse of the viscera. Cho: Textbook Red John. Lisbon: Who found the bodies? Cho: This one's husband, coming home from the airport Sunday morning with his brother. He's a pro golfer. Rigby: Oh, yeah? Cho: Price Randolph. Lisbon: What's her deal with him? Do we know? Cho: He's on file as one of her physicians. Lisbon: Making a house call? Rigsby: Lovers? Jane: No, this one's gay. M.E.: Dr Wagner might know what their relationship was. He's here to make a formal ID. Jane: Okay. In the hallway of the morgue. Lisbon: Dr Wagner. Hi. I'm Agent Teresa Lisbon, California Bureau of Investigation. What's your connection to the victims? Wagner: Well, I work with Gregory - Dr Tannen - and the Randolph family are long-time clients of our practice. Lisbon: Are house calls the norm at your practice? Wagner: No. Gregory and Alison were close friends. Rigsby: Lovers? Wagner: No, he was gay. No, they were just friends. What in God's name happened to them? Rigsby: Looks like Red John. Wagner: Who's Red John? Lisbon: We don't know who did this. We'll be in touch, probably. Thank you. Randolph house. Partridge: Red John enters here. Excuse me. He comes around here. He waits for her, expecting her to come in alone. Only thing, her friend Tannen chose the wrong night to come over for a Richard Gere and ice cream orgy. So Red John zaps them both with his trusty stun gn and ... excuse me ... grabs a five iron from the bag here and BAM crushes Tannen's skull. Then takes his sweet time dealing with Alison how he likes. She's a nice big girl, so unless he's pretty strong, I guess he grabbed her by the arms... FLASHBACK, 5 YEARS AGO: Interior TV studio. Jane, slick and arrogant, performing a psychic medium act before a live audience. The audience is hushed and still. Jane: He says that he's sorry for all the pain he caused you and your mother. Deeply sorry. He asks you to forgive him. Can you do that, Jenny? He needs to hear it. Jenny: I forgive you, Daddy. I forgive you. Jane: Oh, yes. He's smiling now. There are tears of joy. He says God bless you and keep you. He's gone. Kelly: Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Davids: She's amazed. Patrick. Jane: One second. Kelly: Give him some time. Davids: Absolutely, come on back to us. Jane: I'm back. Thank you. Kelly: He's back. Davids: So Patrick, I understand that you're also sort of a paranormal detective. Is that right? Jane: I try to help the police when I can. Davids: And you're helping them hunt this scary serial kller, what's his name? Kelly: Red John. Davids: Red John. END FLASHBACK Bedroom of the Randolph house. Partridge: There she blows. The classic Red John smiley face. Drawn in the victim's blood clockwise with three fingers of his right hand wearing a rubber kitchen glove. I'm stoked to finally see one in the flesh. Jane: This isn't Red John. Partirdge: Ri-i-ight. Jane: Red John thinks of himself as a showman, an artist. He has a strong sense of theatre. In all of the previous killings, he made sure that the first thing that anyone sees is the face on the wall. You see the face first and you know. You know what's happened and you feel dread. Then, and only then, do you see the body of the victim. Always in that order. Here it's the opposite. The first thing you see is the body and you have to look around to see the face on the wall. It doesn't play nearly as well, does it? Lisbon: Depends on your taste, I suppose. Jane: No. Come on. The kller could have painted on the correct wall, here. But he didn't because he didn't know better because he isn't Red John. Partridge: Wow. Interesting. Jane: You know what your problem is, my friend? You enjoy your work a little too much. You're a ghoul. If you don't get horny reading Fangoria, I'm Britney Spears. Partridge: I resent that! Lisbon: This is you trying to redeem yourself, is it? Jane: I'm sorry. He irks me. He's irksome. (He walks out.) You don't need me here. Sheriff's office. Lisbon: So yeah. This one doesn't fit the pattern. Cho: So Jane was right. We have a copycat. Lisbon: Or we have Red John trying new things. Or we have Red John making a mistake. We don't know. We'll work the evidence until we do know. Go talk to the husband. Rigsby: Will do, Boss. Lisbon: What are you waiting for? Hey. So, you might be right about this case, might be. Thanks for the insight. No, did I say that? I'm acknowledging the fact that you might be right, that's all. I mean, if you wanted to come back, I couldn't stop you. Yeah, fine, I'm asking you to come back. Because... because you're useful to the team. No! No, I won't say 'please', go screw yourself! Jackass. Jane: Good morning. Van Pelt: Can I help you? Jane: You must be Van Pelt. A pleasure. Patrick Jane. Van Pelt: Oh, hi! Good to meet you! Agent Cho said you'd left town. Jane: No. Nowhere to go. Van Pelt: Okay. Uh... do you want that desk over there or this one? I mean, that one gets more light. Jane: That one. More light, by all means. Very pleasant addition to the Serious Crimes family. Lisbon: Oh, hi, when did you get here? Randolph house Price: I lost a beautiful precious angel. Cho: Yes, sir. Good-looking woman. I'm jumping right in, if you don't mind, Price. You missed the tournament cut on Friday, yes? But you didn't come home until Sunday. What did you do with the rest of your time in Fresno? Price: I get this. You guys can't catch the real kller, so you want to lay this one on me? Rigsby: No, sir. If we have confirmation of where you were, it lets us exclude you from the investigation. Price: I was with a massage therapist. Cho: Name? Price: It had Lady in there somewhere. Tag: It'll be on his credit card bill. Price: There you go. Pleasure meeting you boys. Dr Wagner's office. Wagner: ...We're a full service private practice. We deliver primary care, cosmetic surgery, psychotherapy, sports medicine, you name it. Jane: What's the African connection? Wagner: It's what this place is all about. Half of our profits go to build and staff basic health clinics in poor African communities. Well, here we are. It's a thin file. Alison was a healthy young woman. Lisbon: Psychiatric history? Wagner: She didn't have one. Lisbon: STDs? Abortions? Unexplained injuries? Wagner: No. Aside from routine check-ups with me, it's all Dr Tannen. All aesthetic work. Jane: Did Tannen keep a diary? Our last case was solved because the victim kept a diary. Wagner: A diary? I don't think so. Lisbon: Getting back to Alison Randolph. How was her marriage do you think? Happy? Unhappy? Wagner: About six months ago, Dr Tannen asked my advice. Alison had asked him to get her a year's supply of birth control pills off the books, which is strictly against AMA code. I said sure, do it. I mean, better us than some Tijuana drugstore. Lisbon: Why the secrecy? Wagner: Price Randolph had a vasectomy. April of '02. If there's anything else I can do... Lisbon: We appreciate that. Jane: Actually, there is. I'm out of sleeping pills. Can you fix me up? Anything strong will do. Wagner: Sure. Come in for a consultation. We'll squeeze you in this afternoon. Jane: Oh. No. I was hoping to get something now. Trying to avoid the chitchat. Wagner: I'm sorry, I wouldn't be comfortable prescribing without some sort of chit chat. Jane: I understand. No problem. I'll call you, maybe. Seafood restaurant Cho: I like the husband for it. He hires some hooker he knows to create an alibi, flies home, filets the spouse, flies back again. It's a classic elaborate and clever, but ultimately stupid, plan. Jane: Have you looked at his PGA tournament record? Cho: Not bad. 6 mill career earnings. Jane: For coming in second and third. You put him on the 18th tee with a big win on the line, like night follows day he'll shank it. He's a choker. He doesn't have the nerve to kll his wife. Didn't do it. Lisbon: Are you suggesting we drop a prime suspect because he's never won a major? Jane: Oh, no, no, no. I'm just making idle conversation. Van Pelt: How'd you do that? Jane: Telekinesis. Cho: He blew on it. Jane: That is another way to do it. Van Pelt: Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path. Jane: fre away. Van Pelt: When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending? Jane: There's no such thing as real psychics. Van Pelt: I beg to differ. My cousin Yolanda is a psychic. Jane: Your cousin is deluded or dishonest or both. Rigsby: Hey, steady. Van Pelt: No, no, he's entitled to his opinion. He's wrong, though. She has power. She can communicate with the other side. I've seen her do it myself. Jane: She let you speak with someone that's gone. Van Pelt: Yes. Jane: Someone that you love and still miss very much. Van Pelt: Yes. Jane: You wanted her power to be real so it was. Van Pelt: No. Rigsby: You're so sure you're right. Science don't know everything. Van Pelt: Five hundred years ago, radio would have seemed like magic. Rigsby: Exactly. Van Pelt: Five hundred years in the future, it could be totally normal to communicate with the other side. Jane: The other side? Your father's a football coach, yeah? Van Pelt: How did you know that? Jane: It's obvious from your whole demeanour. My point is, didn't dad always say life is like football? When that final whistle blows, the game is over, done. There is no more. There is no other side. This is it. Lobster and bread rolls and nautical kitsch and then psssh. Nothingness. Van Pelt: You poor, sad man. The kingdom of God is a real place. Jane: Okay. Later tonight when Rigsby asks you to come back to his hotel room, say yes. Van Pelt: Excuse me? Jane: I know. You were planning on refusing him very curtly. First week on the job, you want to set a tone. No monkey business. But why not? Rigsby is an excellent lover, I'm sure. Tough, but fair. Right? Right. Van Pelt: The kingdom of God is a real place, Mr Jane. And you have an immortal soul. Jane: Oh, I do so hope you're wrong. Hotel elevator Cho: Goodnight. Van Pelt: Goodnight. Rigsby: Later, dude.This is me.Welcome to the unit, Agent Van Pelt. Van Pelt: Thank you, Agent Rigsby. Jane's hotel room. Van Pelt: "Greetings old friend, it's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have 12 wives now and will soon begin courting number 13. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh well. All the best, Red John." Cho: That sounds like the real deal to me. Jane: Sounds like Red John. It's not. Red John wouldn't risk capture just to taunt me. Rigsby: So the real kller is trying to throw us off track? Lisbon: Cho, find out where Price Randolph was a half an hour ago. Rigsby, I want you to check the hotel security cameras. Get those over to forensics. You okay? Jane: Absolutely. Lisbon: Get some sleep. Sheriff's Office. Rigsby: Hello. Jane: Morning. Lisbon: You didn't sleep, did you? Hi, I'd like to make an appointment with Dr Wagner, please. It's urgent. Jane. Patrick Jane. Yeah, I'll hold. Rigsby: Forensics maybe got a break. The blood in the clot in the envelope is Alison Randolph's, but they found a hair in there. Doesn't belong to her or Tannen. Guess who it does belong to? Interrogation room. Cho: It's yours, Tag. Amazing, huh? Science. Tag: This is insane. I didn't... I didn't kll Alison. Cho: How do you explain your hair in the envelope? Tag: Either it's a mistake, or... or I'm being framed. Cho: Who would want to frame you? We don't want to, if that's what you're thinking. Jane: He and Alison were lovers. Cho: Who would want to frame you, Tag? Tag: My brother. Cho: Why would he want to do that? Tag: Alison and I were lovers. Van Pelt: I think you are psychic. You're just afraid to admit it. Jane: Hmm. Wagner's office Wagner: So. Jane: So. Wagner: Why is it you can't sleep? Jane: Because I can't get the good pills without talking to a doctor. Wagner: And you don't like talking to doctors. Jane: Meh. They always want to be the smartest person in the room, don't they? When in fact that's me, obviously. Wagner: You protect your core self very fiercely. What do you think is the reason for that? Jane: You know, this is exactly how I imagined it would be. Are you going to ask me about my mother? Wagner: Do you want me to ask you about your mother? Jane: I just want to sleep. Wagner: What is it that keeps you awake? FLASHBACK Davis: What's his name? Red John? Jane: That's right. Red John. He's klled at least 8 women that we know of. The police asked me to try and get a psychic fix on him and see if I can get a sense of who this man is. Davids: How do you do that exactly? Get a psychic fix on someone? Jane: Well, Davis, true demonic evil burns like fre. It burns with a terrible cold, dark flame. I force myself to look into that flame and I see an image of the evil-doer; in this case, Red John. He's an ugly, tormented little man; a lonely soul. Sad, very sad. END OF FLASHBACK Wagner: Mr Jane. Mr Jane? What is it that keeps you awake? Jane: Um. You know, when I was a boy, we had a farm. It was a lot of work. I was kind of a lazy kid. Wagner: Yes? Jane: I'd always be trying to get my little brother Jimmy to do my chores for me. One day I promised him a dollar if he cut the firewood. Well, he opened an artery in his leg on the saw and he bled to death. Died. Doing my chores for me. Wagner: You know, that's almost exactly the same thing that happened to Johnny Cash. Jane: Is it really? Wow. That's spooky. Sheriff's office Cho: Mr Randolph, good... Price: Cut the crap. My brother's done nothing. You scumbags haven't got the stones to come after me, so you go after my family. That is flat-out persecution. Lawyer: Price, what did we agree? Cho: Mr Randolph, rest assured there's no intent to persecute you. We scumbags are holding your brother because we have physical evidence linking him to the crime, and potential motive, in that he states whenever you weren't around he was banging your wife like a big bass drum. Price: Tag and Alison? Cho: That's what he states. He further states it was you that klled Alison, and you're now trying to frame him in revenge. Price: My god, what did you say?! What? Bastard! Tag: Son of a bitch! You treated her like trash! What did you expect? Price: I didn't expect my little brother to bang my wife, you little punk bastard! Wagner's office. Wagner: Everything you told me is total fiction, isn't it? Jane: Yes. Wagner: Why? I can tell you're in real pain. Why not tell the truth? Jane: The truth is mine. Wagner: I hear you. Jane: Thank you. Jane: Oh, yes. Remember we were talking about Tannen the other day and I asked you if he kept a diary and you said that he did? Well, there's no diary among his effects... Wagner: No. Jane: I'm sorry, no? Wagner: No. You have it wrong. I didn't think he kept a diary. Jane: Strange. Then it must have been someone else who told me. Either that or I'm going mad. But I definitely 100% remember hearing that Tannen kept a diary. Wagner: That is strange. But why does it matter if he kept a diary? Jane: You're right, it doesn't matter. Only I was thinking, why do magicians have beautiful girl assistants? Wagner: Why? Jane: Because they're reliable distracters of attention. People will look at a beautiful girl for a long time before they look where they should be looking if they want to see how the trick really works. Anyhow, I'll send over a couple of forensics guys tomorrow to search his office and locate that diary. Wagner: Didn't they already search his office? Jane: Oh, they never do it thoroughly the first time.Once more for luck, eh? It's gotta be there somewhere.Thanks for everything, Doc. Wagner: Goodnight. Goodnight. Tannen's office Jane: Lost something? Wagner: How did you get in? Jane: The door was open. I think I left my phone in your office. Wagner: The door wasn't open. Jane: Must have been. Here I am. FLASHBACK We see Jane, as he was giving Wagner the hug, taking his key-card out of his pocket. END OF FLASHBACK Jane: What are you doing? Wagner: I confess, the temptation to play detective was a little too strong. I was looking for that diary. I got a little carried away. Jane: No kidding. And no diary? Wagner: No diary. Jane: Maybe I should have a gander. I'm good at finding things. Wagner: Be my guest. Jane: Eureka.Dr Wagner, thank you for your help. Wagner: Mr Jane, your phone. Jane: Right. Thanks. Oh, yeah, got it. Silly of me. Well, goodbye again. Wagner: Wait. Give me the diary. That's very amusing. Jane: I try. Wagner: I knew. I knew it might be a trick. But I had to be sure. Jane: Yes. That's how the trick works. Wagner: What led you to me? Not that I'm saying I did it, I'm just asking. Jane: When we first met, you said you didn't know who Red John was, but you have books on criminal psychiatry there that have chapters on him. You're the Randolph family doctor, so you could easily get a strand of Tag's hair and being a doctor, you can hack up another human without difficulty. It's obvious it was you. Wagner: That's it? You have nothing. That's just guesswork. Jane: Oh, I know. I just wanted to be sure I had the right answer. I was surprised, I've got to be honest. You don't seem to be a wicked man. But you are. Wagner: You're angry about the letter. Yeah, it was a bit mean-spirited. For the record, I'm sorry about your family. I can only imagine your pain. I'm not a wicked man. My conscience is clear. Jane: Really? Wagner: Right now, in Africa, there's 3000 beautiful children alive today who should be dad, but they aren't, because of me. Tannen was going to ruin me and destroy all that work. Over nothing. Money. Theft, he called it. Embezzlement. The self-righteous idiot. It's simple math. If I go to jail, thousands of kids will die, so I made a rational moral decision to kll Tannen for the greater good. Jane: And Alison? What did she do wrong? Wagner: As you said, she was the magician's assistant. Just a distraction. If only Tannen died, the police would have been all over this place, wouldn't they? Truly, is klling two any worse than klling one? When so many lives are at stake? I don't think so. Jane: You poor, sad man. You're under arrest. Let's go. Wagner: I'm pointing a gn at you. Jane: You really think I would set you up so nicely and let you pull a loaded gn on me? I took the bllts out earlier. Jane: You're late! Rigsby: What? Jane: Draw your wapon! Rigsby: Huh? Drop the gn! Hands on your head. Get down on your knees. Down. Sheriff's Office Jane: Case closed doughnuts are here.I just went to get sleeping pills, I swear to God. I didn't even want to go. You know I didn't want to go. Van Pelt: Right. Rigsby: Yeah, you didn't set Wagner up. Didn't figure it was him days ago. Cho: You didn't let us tear apart the victim's family simply to satisfy your childish need for drama. Jane: Eh. That family was screwed anyway. Don't blame yourselves, guys. Lisbon: Don't even start. I'm still angry. Jane: I'm sorry. Lisbon: No you're not. A frog? Well, this makes everything better, doesn't it? Jane's Malibu house. Evening. He comes through the front door and puts some mail on the table by the door. We see that it's now the only furniture in the house, which has been stripped bare. Jane goes upstairs to the room where his family was k*lled. There is a mattress on the floor. He lies on it fully clothed. The camera pans up and we see that the bloody smiley face is still on the wall above the mattress, faded with time.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x01 - Pilot"}	foreverdreaming
Northern Capa Country, vineyard Sheriff McAllister: Boy, am I glad to see you guys. We are sorely ill-prepared for this kind of deal. Quail hunter's dog found her this morning at 5:30. Wasn't meant to be huntin' quail, but he was. Lisbon: Do we know who she is? Sheriff: Nope. Looks familiar, though, so I'm guessing local. People sure look different when they're dad, though, don't they? Cho: That wound doesn't look fatal. Lisbon: There's no ligature marks on the neck, so she wasn't strangled or hung. Gums are livid. Eyes are hemorrhaged. Cho: Suffocation. Sheriff: My bet is it's a meth head from the city comin' in off the interstate. Jane: No, he's a local. And it was an accident. Her kller didn't intend her to die this way. Lisbon: How so? Jane: She still has her clothes on. Her abductor was taking her to a location that was quiet and private so he could undress her for a sexual asault. She made too much noise at the wrong moment. He tried to keep her quiet and smothered her by mistake. No good to him now, so then he dumps her in a spot only a local would know. Lisbon: She's all yours. Thanks for waiting. Cho: Why sexual motive? Could be gangs or drugs. Jane: A drug trade smothering? By who—"sesame street" crips? Lisbon: There's nothing to say it isn't just boyfriend trouble. Jane: Could be boyfriend trouble. Doesn't feel like it, though. Sheriff: Who is this guy? Lisbon: He's a consultant. You want CBI assistance? He comes as part of the package. Sheriff: Consultant, huh? What, are you clairvoyant or some gizmo? You got psychic powers? Jane: No, no powers. Had 'em once. I mean, I pretended I had 'em, obviously. No such thing as psychic powers. Sheriff: So what is it you do, exactly? Jane: You know rock paper scissors? Sheriff: I do. Jane: Play me. On three. One... Two... Three. Sheriff: One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three! O'Keefes house's Mrs O'Keefes: Go inside the house. Get your homework started. Go. Go now. Joe? Lisbon: Mr. And mrs. O'Keefes? I'm agent Teresa Lisbon, california bureau of investigation. I'm sorry. We're bringing bad news. We found your daughter melanie. Mrs O'Keefes: No. Oh, no! Frankie: Who are you? Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm with the police. Is this your sister's room? Frankie: Yes. Did someone kll my sister? Jane: Yes. Frankie: Okay. Mrs O'Keefes: She didn't come home from work the night before last. She waitresses at the Shand Creek Winery restaurant. She was on until 11:00 p.m. Her car is still parked there in the parking lot. Mr. O'Keefes: We're always asleep when she comes home. We didn't even know she was missing until the morning. We called all her friends, and nobody knew where she was. Nobody'd seen her after she left work that night. Mrs O'Keefes: She was all set to go ppto college in the fall. She won a softball scholarship at, um, u.c.l.a. Mr. O'Keefes: We were worried about her going down to Los Angeles, because you read about all the crime. Did they do anything to her? Lisbon: Doesn't appear so. She was fully clothed. Mrs O'Keefes: Why would anybody do something like that? Lisbon: Oftentimes, the first name that pops into the mother's head is the guilty party. Jealous boyfriends, anything like that? Mrs O'Keefes: No, nothing like that. Lisbon: Nothing? Mr. O'Keefes: She was always shy of boys. Mrs O'Keefes: She was a good girl. She took the purity pledge in ninth grade, and she still wears that ring today. Jane: When did she take the posters down? Frankie: After christmas. Jane: Who was on the posters? Frankie: Boys with long hair from the tv. Jane: She didn't like 'em anymore? Frankie: Said they were for little girls. Do you know who klled her? Jane: No. Frankie: Are you gonna find out who klled her? Jane: Me and my colleagues are gonna try. Frankie: How? Jane: Looking, listening, asking questions. Frankie: When you find him, will you tell me? Jane: Sure. Why? Frankie: No reason. CBI Rigsby: Rigsby. Van Pelt: Van pelt. Lisbon: Hey, did you get the fax from the sheriff's department there? Van Pelt: Yes. Lisbon: Run the details through the crime database, see if we get any matches. Okay, Van Pelt? Van Pelt: Will do. Rigsby: Boss, I finished the budget reports here like you said. Why don't I drive down there, give you guys a hand? O'Keefes house's Lisbon: No, you stay there. Look, pp I'll call you if I need you. Jane: She has a lover—someone she met around christmas at a fair. He's either too old, too closely related or too villainous to tell her folks about. I'd bet on villainy, and his first name starts with an "H." Lisbon: Explains why she wasn't ppwearing a purity ring. Sheriff: You know, it is the damndest thing. I was at the shand creek that night on a call 'round about the same time that girl was taken. A drunk wouldn't pay his check. Lisbon: That is the damndest thing. You notice anything that might be useful? Sheriff: Oh, for cryin' out loud. Yeah, when I got there, I saw a black truck, full-size, Taking off out of the other end of that lot goin' way too fast... He's inside. Nearly went after him, too, you know? Shand Creek Lisbon: What time was that? Sheriff: Uh, a quarter to 12:00. Lisbon: Have these woods been checked? Sheriff: Not to speak of. Lisbon: You might want to put a few man-hours into that. Sheriff: That, uh, that's her car right there. Lisbon: You want to take it? Malcolm Boatwright: She worked for us for... Three summers in a row. Lovely girl. Jane: This is good. Malcolm: Yes, it is. Sandra Batwright: It's unbelievable. And from the parking lot. I was practically right there. Malcolm: I can't even think about it. Try this. Lisbon: No, I won't. Jane: This one's really good. Lisbon: To your knowledge, did Melanie ever have any incidents with disgruntled coworkers, maybe... Boyfriend problems? Sandra: No. Jane: Mmm, this one is really good. Cardamom? Malcolm: Yes, and caraway. Jane: Mmm, and a lot of butter. Malcolm: No, there's no shame in it. A lot of butter. That's the great thing about food. It's indulgence and necessity all in one. Lisbon: What time did Melanie leave work that night? To build a time line, we need to know exactly. Sandra: Well, I know she took off first, but I'd have to check her time card to be exact. Malcolm: Hey, it wasn't me, by the way. I have a staff of 20 that'll tell you the only time I ever leave the kitchen is to take a leak or yell at a customer. Sandra: Sad but true. Malcolm: So this is the, uh, the kitchen. This is the main prep area, and this is where the magic happens. Randall: Ha ! Malcolm: Attention, Randall! Pay it! Sandra: My office is this way. Randall: This is a go. Sandra: She was by no means a gifted server. Betty butterfingers, that's what we called her, but she had a good spirit. She left at 11:25. Good night. She went out that door, and that's the last we saw of her. Lisbon: It's all reservations, I assume? Credit cards? Sandra: Yes. I can get you a full list. Lisbon: Great. Sandra: Oh, Raquel, come in. These people are here to help find out what happened to poor Melanie. Raquel: Okay. Good. Lisbon: You and she were good friends, weren't you? Raquel: Not really. She was okay. Jane: 'Cause on her wall at home, she has a picture of you and her together. That's weird, huh? Raquel: I don't know why she has a picture of me and her, ma'am. Maybe she has a secret crush on me. I don't know. Lisbon: What's her boyfriend's name? Raquel: She doesn't have a boyfriend. That's her thing, right? Purity. No boys. Jane: So who was it that she cut out of the picture? Raquel: I don't know, sir. Lisbon: You were there. Raquel: It was christmas. I was high. Lisbon: Raquel, this is a mrder investigation. If you protect someone who did this, you'll do time. Raquel: I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't help you. I would if I could. Swear to god. Lisbon: Thank you. Cho: Car's clean. Lisbon: Have a chat with Raquel, why don't you? I'm gonna go check the credit card receipts. Cho: Okay. Jane: Give me a minute with her. She's got a super low threshold. Cho: No. Nope. Jane: Just stand in the doorway, pretend you're making a phone call for a moment. Cho: No. It's illegal and it's unprofessional. Jane: That's why I need you to stand in the doorway. Cho: One minute. Jane: Raquel, look at me. Before you fall asleep tonight, while you're lying in your bed relaxing and slowly drifting off into sleep, I want you to think of me. Think of me and imagine that you can fly. Imagine that you're weightless. You can float gently into the air if you want to, safe and calm and serene. You can fly away and leave all your burdens and worries and fears behind you. Imagine that— what a nice feeling it is. Next time you see me, when I say hello, you'll remember that good feeling, and you'll want to tell me the truth, because when you do tell the truth, you'll feel that a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I'll say hello, and you will feel as light as a feather, as if you were floating on air. Why don't you sit here a moment, think about that before you go back to work? Raquel: Whatever. Your friend's crazy. Can I go now? Cho: Yes. Jane: Worked on the chicken. Cho: Right. Cho: Maybe that's a clue. Sheriff: Sorry? Lisbon: Take it to the lab. Jane: Whoa, whoa, wait. I-i got a better idea. Malcolm: Um, settle down now, everyone. Settle down. These are agents of the california bureau of investigation. They want to talk to you a moment. Sandra: There's nothing to worry about. Jane: We need your help. Will you help us? Everybody: Yes. Jane: We know the identity of melanie's kller. The mrder of that poor girl is in this room. This note... Was found in melanie's locker. We have strong reason to believe that whoever wrote this note is the kller. Yes, unluckily for that person, my colleague, agent cho here, is the bureau's chief graphologist. Each one of you will be giving us a sample of your handwriting, left and right-handed. Cho will examine these samples and determine which of you left this note. Which of you is the kller? Sheriff office's Cho: Randall, why did you want to say "sorry" to melanie? Randall: I didn't kll her. Cho: I didn't say that you did. I asked why you wanted to say "sorry" to her. Your time card and your boss say you left work ten minutes before melanie. You waited for her in the parking lot, right? Right? There's no law against waiting for someone. You waited for her. Randall: I just wanted to speak to her. Cho: Nothing wrong with that. You wanted to speak to her. Then what happened? Randall: I was like, "hey, melanie, what's up?" and we talked. She didn't leave. She—she was smiling and laughing, so I figured I was doing pretty good. So I made my move, and, um, she wasn't so into it, which was cool, only I know she has this whole virgin thing happening. So I figured that I just have to be more... Goal-oriented. She was pretty upset, so I apologized for any misunderstanding, and I left. I got in my car, and I drove off, and that was it. Only I felt like maybe she would still be mad at me and, like, complain. So when I got in to work this morning, before I knew that she was missing, I wrote "sorry," and I put it in her locker. Lisbon: How long were you in the parking lot with her? Try and be precise. Randall: Five minutes. Six. Lisbon: Randall tried to kiss Melanie because he thought it was on his account that she didn't leave. Jane: But in fact, she didn't leave because of randall. Lisbon: She was meeting somebody else. Jane: Are we gonna see Raquel again? Lisbon: She's on her way in now. Yes ? Van Pelt: I did the database search. I'm e-mailing the results. Lisbon: I'm gonna put you on speaker. Van Pelt: It's not much. One pop for the brand of silver tape used two months ago in fairfield—an abduction case. Jane: What happened? Van Pelt: Delores Sanchez, a female, 22, migrant farm laborer abducted at a bus stop. She doesn't know how. She wakes up on a bed in a motel room all tied up in duct tape, unharmed. The cleaners found her. Never saw her abductors. No suspects. Fairfield p.d.concluded it was a drunken prank. The complainant sanchez left town, so the case kind of drifted away. Jane: This is very interesting. Lisbon: Let's knock off on tangents already. Jane: Any other correlations? Van Pelt: Uh, yes, actually. Sanchez is a redhead like O'Keefes. Jane: Cool down. Lisbon: It's a common brand of tape, and there's a quarter million redheaded women in california. Jane: Yeah, yeah, you're right. Lisbon: Yeah. Jane: Just supposing, for fun, that it was the same guy did both crimes. He kidnaps a redheaded girl, ties her up, takes her to a motel room, has her at his mercy but does nothing. Months later, kidnaps another redheaded girl, but his planning is not good enough, and he kills her in a panic to keep her quiet. What does that say? Lisbon: He's an idiot? Jane: He's new to this, and he's conflicted. He's hungry to do terrible things, but his conscience and his fear tell him not to. So he's not yet going into this with the proper focus and planning, and stuff goes wrong. Lisbon: Or you're making that up, and Melanie was mrder by her secret lover We can be fairly certain she was meeting at the exact time of her abduction. Van Pelt: Excuse me. I'm still here. What would you like me to do? Lisbon: Call all the motels within 10 miles of shand creek. Find one that had a cash booking who didn't show on the night of the mrder. Lisbon: No, let's work the solid leads first. Cross-check all the full-size black trucks with known criminals in the napa area. Van Pelt: Yes, ma'am. Lisbon: Look, if the boyfriend angle doesn't work, we'll look at your trainee psychopath, okay? Jane: Okay. Raquel: I don't know anything, so I can't tell anything! I told them that. I told you I don't know anything. Lisbon: Has a seat, Miss Garcia. Cho: Thanks. Jane: Hello, Raquel. Raquel: Melanie had a thing with Hector Romerez. He's my second cousin. I was with him at the fair one time, and we ran into melanie, and then they were like bam— Romeo and juliet. She was meeting him that night. Lisbon: The night she died ? Raquel: Yes. And I didn't tell you because I'm afraid of him. The eight ball locos? He runs all the drugs in Vacaville. And he's had people klled for way less than just snitchin' on him like this, for real. Lisbon: That was funny, the way she gave him up so easily like that. Jane: Yeah, it was. But you were right, huh? Secret lover. Guess I was wrong about the whole red hair and duct tape thing. Lisbon: You hypnotized her, didn't you? Jane: I certainly did not. Okay. No. Yes, I did hypnotize her, but— Lisbon: But nothing. It's unprofessional, and it's illegal. Cho: It's totally out-of-bounds. Jane: That's what I told him. I was gonna say you had nothing to do with it, but hey... Lisbon: You allow him to pull that stuff again, and you'll be showing visitors around the statehouse in a stupid hat. Cho: Yes, ma'am. Understood. Lisbon: Rigsby, I got a hot warrant in Vacaville. You can get there in an hour, can't ya? Rigsby: Yes, boss. I'll get rolling. Lisbon: Bring Van Pelt. Rigsby: Yes, bo—for a hot warrant? Lisbon: Why are you still on the line? CBI Rigsby: Hey, come on. Let's go. Hector house's. Jane wait near cars Policeman: Well, they do have six flavors, sweetie. Sheriff's department! We have a warrant! Open up! Hector jumps through the window Policeman: Don't move ! He's out ! He's out ! He runs towards Jane but Lisbon catches him Lisbon: Put your right hand behind your back. Stop resisting. Give me your hand! Policeman: Don't move! Don't move! Rigsby: Boom. Out of nowhere. Guy didn't know what ht him. So what were you planning todo if lisbon hadn't stopped him ! Jane: Oh, i-i didn't bother to formulate a plan. I-i knew she'd stop him. Lisbon: Cho, Jane, let's move. You two fill out the paperwork with the staties, then go back to sacramento, hold the fort. Rigsby: Yes, boss. Sheriff office's Lisbon: Hector, we're investigating the mrder of melanie O'Keefes. Do you know who she was? She was suffocated and then sab to death and dumped on the side of the road three nights ago. We know you and melanie were lovers. We know you were planning to meet her that night, and we can put your truck in the shand creek parking lot. I've got enough to charge you with, Hector. Jane: W-we just want to know your side of the story. Lisbon: How'd you two meet? Hector: Oprah and dr. Phil here. I told her this is how it was going to end, only it was going to be me that died and her sitting here with dumb cops asking dumb questions. Lisbon: Why was she? Hector: You wouldn't understand. Jane: Sure she would. All women understand the charm of a violent man. Hector: What we had was special. Lisbon: You made her feel like a captured princess instead of a small town choir nerd. And she made you feel like a dashing pirate instead of what you are— Sort of a bad-tempered pharmacist. Hector: Funny man. Ese, those pirates back then, they were just bangin' like anybody else today. A pirate is exactly what I am, and she was a princess. She was. Lisbon: What happened that night? Flash-back Hector: We were supposed to meet at 11:30 at the restaurant. I got there ten minutes late, and she hadn't come out yet. I waited for a few minutes, and I left. End of Flash-back Hector: I'm impatient. I was angry. I will always hate myself for that. I left her to be klled because I don't wait for nobody. Lisbon: That's a noble admission, Hector. How did you feel about the fact she was going to college in the fall? Hector: I was proud... And happy for her. Lisbon: She was leaving you behind. Hector: I wanted her to leave me behind. I wanted her far away. I told her, "go to L. A. And don't come back for nothing." End of the interrogation Jane: He's telling the truth. Lisbon: And now you're just trying to be contrary. Have you read his sheet? Jane: Did you hear what he said? Lisbon: He's a good actor. It was you who thought it was him in the first place. Jane: I said Melanie had a secret lover. I didn't say he klled her. Lisbon: If it wasn't him, then who was it? And if you say a man who likes red hair and silver duct tape, I'll scream. Jane: I don't want you to scream. Lisbon: Look, you have your reasons. I understand. But you're seeing more than what's actually there. You have a tendency to do that. Not every mrder is a secret inside of a secret inside of a secret. There's not always a hidden pattern. Jane: Not always, but sometimes there is. Lisbon: Sometimes the obvious guy did it. Most of the time, the obvious guy did it. Look at the time line. Hector's admitted he was in the parking lot for ten minutes, give or take. There wasn't enough time for anybody else to have entered the parking lot, abducted Melanie and driven away. It was Hector. Jane: You're right. There's no time. Jane sees Frankie in the hall of the sheriff office's Jane: Hey, Frankie. Jane and Frankie go to a dinner Jane: So, uh, show me. Frankie: Show you what? Jane: Your gn. Frankie: I don't have a gn. Jane: No? Van Pelt: Hello? Jane: Hey, Van Pelt. Uh, Lisbon changed her mind. She wants you to check out those motels like I said. Van Pelt: The motels? Jane: Looking for one with a no-show cash booking that night. Cover all the bases, she says. She's right here if you want a word with her. Van Pelt: Uh, that's okay, but listen, i— Jane: Call me first if you get anything... No gn, huh? What were you gonna kll Hector with, a Knfe? Frankie takes out an ax of his bag Jane: That should work. Just, uh... Put it away. What if it turns out that Hector isn't the man who klled your sister? Hector: Isn't he? Jane: We don't know that yet. But you don't have to worry about that. That's for us to work out. You need to be here for your family and leave the vengeance part to us. Hector: When you find who did it for sure, will you kll him? Jane: No. I won't kll him, but I'll make him very sorry. I have a daughter who'd be about your age if I hadn't caused her death... Her and her mother. Frankie: How? Jane: Out of arrogance... Stupidity. I made an evil man very angry, and he klled them to teach me a lesson, To make me sorry for what I'd done. And I am sorry. Being sorry is a far worse punishment than being dad. Everybody dies. Very few people ever feel truly sorry for the bad things they've done. It hurts... Van Pelt, what do you got? Jane goes to the motel Work's motel: Microwave, spa tub and premium cable in every unit. Special rates for state and federal employees. Jane: What did he look like— this man? Work's motel: Big, with a hat and sunglasses... And a thick beard, like a sikh. Jane: An absurd disguise, in other words? Work's motel: Ridiculous. I run a motel. I don't care who you are. He bought a good beard for nothing. Then that night he doesn't show, so I remembered him when your nice young lady called. Jane: Uh, no disrespect, but, uh, your maid isn't very thorough. Work's motel: No, she is most thorough. She cleans here tomorrow. For monthly rentals, she— Jane: Monthly? Work's motel: Yes. She comes every third day. Jane: So he's been here recently, in the last two days. Work's motel: The chips would imply this, yes? Jane: Yes, they—they would. This? Work's motel: Oh, th-those are not ours. Jane: He's coming back. Office's sheriff Lisbon: Okay. Thank you. Nice work. Yes ? Jane: Listen, I don't want to make you mad, but I found something really interesting, and I want you to take a look at it. Lisbon: You can't make me mad. Go ahead. What'd you find? Jane: You first. Who made you so happy? Lisbon: Forensics. There's substantial traces of Melanie's blood on the seat of Hector's truck. Jane: So... Happy day. Lisbon: Yeah. Now I'm gonna go and see what Hector has to say about it. What'd you find? Jane: Uh, it—it can wait. Room of interrogation Hector: Blood? Yes. Last time I saw her, two weeks ago, she was disrespectful, so I had to tune her up. She got a bloody nose. Lisbon: Was physical abuse a normal occurrence in your relationship, or is this more of a recent thing? Hector: She chose me. She wanted to know where the edges are. I showed her. End of interrogation Lisbon: Go ahead. Say it. Jane: I think he's telling the truth. Lisbon: And I disagree. I'm charging him. Jane: No. Yes. Good. That's good. Go ahead. You got more than enough evidence. Oops, nearly forgot. Lisbon: Okay, tell me. What'd you find? Jane: Telling you won't do. I have to show you... Uh, I made a booking for two for this afternoon. Could you put us on the terrace? It's more romantic. Thanks. Yeah. Patrick. Lovely. See you then... Don't fret. I wouldn't seduce you over a meal. That would be very hm. Lisbon: I didn't think you were trying to seduce me. Jane: Come on. How could that thought not have entered your head? Your denial that it did intrigues me. Lisbon: Bite me. At the motel Lisbon: What is this? That's Van Pelt? What is she doing? Jane: Thiss a live feed from the shand creek restaurant, and this is how we're gonna catch melanie's kller. At the Shand Creek (Cho is in hideout) Cho: Say again. Rigsby: Nothing. Cho: Oh, I see you. Van Pelt: How do I look? Rigsby: Good. You look good. Van Pelt: I meant, can you see the wire? Rigsby: Nope. Nope. At the motel Jane: The kller plans to bring his victim back to this room. And when he does, we're gonna be here to greet him. How sweet is that? Lisbon: This is all a big elaborate joke you're gonna apologize for now. Yes? Jane: Whoever klled melanie had to be there that night at shand creek. Your time line proves it. There's no way anyone else could've done it. One of the 20 people there that night klled melanie. All 20 of those people are there now today, including the kller. Lisbon: And he's gonna try it again today? Come on. Jane: No, no. Yes, yes, that's just the point. Yes, he is gonna try again. He's planning on it. And he's gonna try again today because we're gonna make him try again because he's not in control of his desires. He's been thinking of nothing else but this perverse craving of his. He's gotten so close. He's desperate to go all the way. All we need to do is present him with something he can't resist, something that he will jump at, and damn the consequences. Give it a try. If I'm wrong, there's no harm down. Shand Creek Van Pelt: It's fusion. Rigsby: Confusion. Up to me, make it a cheeseburger every time. Van Pelt: Oh, me, too. With onion rings. Waiter: Good appetite Van Pelt: Thanks. Let's do it. Rigsby: Not yet. Van Pelt: Why not? Rigsby: This is actually quite good. She put hil a slap Van Pelt: You're meant to shout at me and leave. Rigsby: Now you've gone too far! I hate you! Rigsby joins Cho Cho: Smooth work. Rigsby: Don't. Shand Creek Sandra: Can I call you a cab? Van Pelt: No, thank you. I need a walk. I have a number for a cab if I need one. Thank you for a delicious meal. Sandra: Oh, you're so welcome. Van Pelt: I just left the restaurant. I'm heading towards the main road now. Aah ! Sheriff: Sorry, miss. I didn't see you there. I was just, uh... You okay? Van Pelt: Oh, sure. Absolutely. Just scared me a little. At the motel Jane: He w—he wasn't su— what the hell is he doing there? Lisbon: He was there. He was there that night. On the road of the Shand Creek Sheriff: Going for a stroll? Van Pelt: Fresh air. Sheriff: Only you need to be careful. We've been looking for a mrder loose around here. Yeah, went after a girl just like you—red hair and all. Van Pelt: No kidding. Sheriff: Yeah. I'll, uh, drive you up to the main road. Van Pelt: Oh, thank you, but... Sheriff: No, no trouble, really. My car's just over here on the side. Van Pelt: (To Cho) Please advise. Cho: Keep it rolling. Sheriff: Beg your pardon? Van Pelt: I'm not used to wearing these shoes. Sheriff: Hey, you, uh, are you out here alone? Van Pelt: I had an argument with my date. Sheriff: Oh, sorry to hear that. You know, if you were my date, I wouldn't, uh, I wouldn't argue, pretty lady like yourself. My car's just right over here. Van Pelt: It—it's okay. I'll walk. Sheriff: Wait, no. I won't let you. Cho: Shit Sheriff: Re—really, ma'am. Really, i-i don't feel comfortable letting you go. Van Pelt: Really, I'm fine. Sheriff: I think you're intoxicated. Van Pelt: I am not. Rigsby: Get your hands off her! Sheriff: What the hell's the matter with you? You're under arrest! Rigsby: No, you're under arrest, you piece of— Van Pelt and Cho: Rigsby, calm down. Sheriff: Cho? Is this clown one of yours? What the hell is going on here? Policeman: Sheriff, everything okay? Sheriff: Well, yeah, now it is... Suppose so. Barely. At the motel Lisbon: Everything's funny. Jane: Well, if you try. I mean, come on. It's pretty funny. Strange, though. I-i was sure the chef would bite. I mean, there's still a chance he could show up. Lisbon: The chef—Malcolm? Why do you think it's him? Jane: He uses way too much butter. Lisbon: Say? Jane: He's a gluttonous baby. He's self-indulgent. He wants what he wants and he takes it. Lisbon: Too much butter ? Jane: Yeah. Lisbon: It's fascinating the way your mind works. One thing, though—malcolm was in the kitchen with 20 people when melanie was taken. He couldn't have done it. Jane: Hang on. There—there's a way he could— Lisbon: Forgive me if I can't stay for more of your theorizing, But I've gotta go and see if I can save your colleagues from getting formal complaints in their files... Lisbon fate of the room. She receives a call and a Shand Creek van arrives at the parking lot. Lisbon: Yeah, I'll be right there. No, I know where it is. Okay. Right here. In the room Sandra: That's good. You're good. You're good. Oh, it's okay. It's okay. Good? Good. Quiet! Quiet! Flashback Melanie enters the restaurant having quarreled with Randall and sees Malcolm. He ties her up and he and his wife takes him in the small van and go away just as the sheriff arrives at the restaurant. Sandra asks him to keep quiet with a Knfe. End of flashback Malcolm: Okay. Okay, help me put this on the bed. Sandra: Okay. Malcolm: Oh ! Jane: Stop. Think. Do not move. Whatever you do, do not move. Malcolm: What? Jane: Do not move! Sandra: Stop! Come back here! Stop! Malcolm: What are you doing here? Jane: Think. Think. Malcolm: What are you doing here? Jane: Does it matter? I'm here. This place is surrounded by police and cbi agents. Malcolm: Oh, no. Sandra: He's lying. They would be up here arresting us by now if they were here. Jane: S.W.A.T. They're waiting on S.W.A.T. There's no way out of this. Sandra: Nobody. Let's just kll them and get out of here. Jane: Whoa, whoa, listen to me. You can walk away from all of this. No disrespect, but you're both clinically insane. You're not gonna go to prison. You'll go to a hospital for a couple of years, and you can walk away. Malcolm: Shut up! Just shut up! I'm—i'm trying to think. Sandra: Oh, now he's trying to think! Malcolm: Don't pretend you didn't want this. You wanted it just as much as me! Sandra: Yeah, but I told you we didn't have enough time. Malcolm: I told you that we didn't— Sandra: Don't you point that at me! Malcolm: I swear to god, woman, one more word out of you! Lisbon arrives Lisbon: Police. Malcolm has him thrat and Lisbon sh*t him Lisbon: Put the gn down! Sandra: No! Lisbon sh*t and goes towards the victim Lisbon: Okay. All right. It's okay. You're gonna be fine, all right? Here, come on. Okay? We're gonna get you out of here. The team goes to the Melanie's burial Van Pelt: I don't get it. She actually enjoyed helping him kll. One crazy evil person, I understand. But two? Husband and wife? Marriage is supposed to be a sacred, loving thing. Jane: They were soul mates in their own strange way. Mr. O'Keefes: Let's go.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x02 - Red Hair and Silver Tape"}	foreverdreaming
Santa Marta Beach, a child see the body of a girl To CBI Lisbon: Victim is Christine Tanner, 15, drowned, washed up on the beach in Santa Marta. Who's got the ultraviolet? Rigsby: Yep. So she drowned. Why us? Lisbon: Coroner found a wound consistent with getting ht in the head with a surfboard and water in her lungs, only it was ditchwater— No salt, a lot of bugs. Jane: So the kller is clever, but not as clever as he thinks he is. Van Pelt: Santa marta sheriff's not taking this one? Lisbon: State beach, state case. All right, what are you doing? Jane: Grace is mentlly telling me where she hid the van keys. If I find them, I get to drive. Lisbon: So now you're psychic? Jane: Oh, no, no, no. This is all science. Concentrate, Grace. Tell me with your mind only. Forward, backward, left, right. Cho: How is that science? He watched you hide the keys. Jane: From the men's room? That would be a trick. He leaves the room and looks under the plants. There is a key Jane (He laughes): Who's got gn? Lisbon: Can we go now? Santa Marta Beach Young man: Leah, go ahead. Young people throw flowers into the sea Cho: You had the keys in your hand the whole time. Jane: U've gotta let it go, man. Cho: Did you have the keys in your hand? Jane: If I tell you how it's done, pp the magic circle will send a team of assassins to kll us all. It's the law. Rigsby: Her body was discovered on this beach. Coast guard says that means she was put in the water anywhere within a mile north of here. Any further along the coast, the current would have taken her out to Mexico. Jane: How long was she in the water? Rigsby: We're still waiting on the coroner's report. Hope: Hey, excuse me. Are you guys cops? Rigsby: C.B.I Hope: What's C.B.I ? Rigsby: California bureau of investigation. Jane: Cops. Hope: (To his friend) Cops. So is it true what they're saying—somebody klled Chris? Jane: Yes, it is true. You were Christine's friend? Hope: Yeah. We hang at the same breaks. I love Chris. What happened? Cho: We don't know yet. What's your name? Hope: I'm Hope. That's Win. Cho: When was the last time you saw Christine? Hope: Uh, three days ago. Sunset patrol. Epic northeast swell. Chris loved to go out at sunset. She would stay out till it was dark as dark. Jane: How did she seem lately— just, you know, any enemies or... stuff like that? Win: Uh, not—not around here. Everybody loved chris. Rigsby: Was she dating anybody? Win: Dating? Rigsby: Okay, was she hooking up with anybody in particular? Hope: Danny Kurtik, mostly. Win: Jeez, hope. Hope: What? They were hookin' up. Win: Danny would never hurt Chris. Hope: Duh, of course not. Win: That's not what they were asking. They were asking who she was hooking up with, which would be Danny. It wasn't a big, dark secret. Rigsby: I need you to write down your names and the numbers we can reach you at. (She says yes) Jane: Win? Win: Yeah? Jane: If chris was a color, what color would she be? Win: Uh, orange... Or pink. Hope: No, o-orange is right. Jane: If she were an animal, what kind of animal would she be? Hope: Uh, I don't know. A rabbit? How is this relevant? Jane: Everything's relevant. Hope: Chris was good people. I hope you find who did this. Jane: We'll do our best. Farther Rigsby: How is that relevant? Cho: We're looking for someone who doesn't like orange rabbits. Jane: Exactly. You know what, boys? I like it here. Yeah. I think I'll stay for a while. Cho: What? Rigsby: Okay. Jane stretches out the beach Cho: Let's just leave him here. Christine Tanner's House Jack: Excuse the mess. Chrissy was the house-proud one around here. Lisbon: We understand. Mr. Tanner? We may have to ask you some tough questions, so... (She showes children) Jack: That's okay. Can't tell Lisa nothing she hasn't heard before, and micah don't... He don't give a damn. He's slow. He's just... Sad 'cause he sees Lisa is. Lisbon: All the same... Jack: Come on, kids. Lisa: Come on, micah. Let's go. Jack: Can you take him outside? Lisa: You got it, dad. Lisbon sees bottles of alcohol on the table Lisa (to Mika): Come on. Let's go outside. Lisbon: So when did you notice Christine was missing? Jack: Yesterday morning. She hadn't made nothing for the kids, and I realized I hadn't seen her in a while. I mean, she may be away one night and I wouldn't know, but you know... Lisbon: When was the last time you saw her? Jack: Monday morning. Van Pelt: Any idea where she was during that time period? Jack: No. No. Chrissy's real independent. You never... Never had to worry about Chrissy. Lisbon: So two days to notice your daughter's gone and another to report it. Jack: I work. I mean, I work construction. I never miss a day. I-i can't watch her all the time. Lisbon: Her mother's not around? Jack: She died. She was klled in a car wreck. Van Pelt: I'm sorry. Jack: Almost five years ago now. Drunk driver t-boned her. College kid. Walked away laughin'. Not a scratch, you know? Not a scratch. Van Pelt: So Christine kind of took over for her mom, huh? Cooked, cleaned, looked after the little ones? Jack: Yeah. Don't know what we're gonna do now. Lisbon: Christine was arrested last year? Jack: That was... Stupid. It was a couple of joints. No big deal. Lisbon: Well, how is it she got into drugs? Jack: She wasn't into drugs. She was straightedge, if anything. It's her dumb-ass friend Darlene. Lisbon: Darlene—last name? Jack: Pappas, but chrissy wasn't hanging out much with darlene anymore, not since she got big into surfing. Then she started hanging with a different crowd. Lisbon: Who were they? Jack: They're surfers, you know— not like bum surfers. They seem like good kids, you know? They were upscale. They'd pick her up in their— their audis and whatnot. You know, they were a good influence on Christine. They helped her with her schoolwork, and she was thinking about college. Lisbon: Anybody in particular vv she was close to? Jack: I don't really know 'em. I mean, there's names I'd hear all the time. There's, like, Andy and Danny and Hope, and then there's this new guy, Flipper, she talked about lately. Lisbon: Talks about how? Jack: Just that she was, you know, they were hangin' together, you know? Like, "i'll see you at flipper's," stuff like that. Hey, Lisa? Honey? Lisa: Yeah, dad? Jack: Hey, honey, could you, uh, fix some lunch for your brother, please? Lisa: Yeah, okay. Jack: Thanks. Beach of Santa Martha On the beach, Jane makes a castle with a shoe next to a little girl Girl: What, you didn't bring a bucket? Jane says no. So, she gives a bucket Christine Tanner's house Van Pelt and Lisbon are outside Jack's house. Lisbon fell. Van Pelt: Are you okay? Lisbon: Damn it. Van Pelt: It's gotta be tough. Lisbon: What? Van Pelt: I mean, a drunk driver— isn't that what happened to your mother? Sorry. It's not my business. Lisbon: We don't discuss our personal lives in this unit. It's not useful, and it's not professional. She takes his cellphone Lisbon: Cho, names to check— Darlene Pappas, Andy, Danny, Hope and Flipper. CBI Cho: Flipper? Okay. Got it. Hold on. (He looks on the computer) There's a Darlene Pappas in youth authority lockup— Possession and resisting arrest. I'll get her in here. Lisbon: Great. Where's jane? Cho: Jane? He's still pursuing inquiries at the beach. Beach of Santa Martha On the beach, Jane made a beautiful castle. People congratulate her. She smiles. To CBI Lisbon: Darlene, you're a friend of Christine Tanner? Darlene: What do you want? Lisbon: Christine's dad. Darlene: What do you want? Lisbon: I want you to help us find out who klled her. Darlene: klled? How? Lisbon: Drowned. Darlene: Drowned? Damn. Lisbon: Who does she know that might have reason to do this? Darlene: Well, now that you mention it, there was a guy. What was his name? Lisbon: Yes, darlene, if you help us, I'll talk to the prosecutor, see if we can help you with these charges you've got pending. Darlene: Okay. Last year she was banging an older guy, like old. She called him "Pops." Lisbon: No name? Just Pops? Darlene: Pops, that's it. One time, uh, she said he was getting weird, and she was talking about dumping him, but I don't know if she ever did. Like I say, we haven't been tight for a while now. Lisbon: That's interesting, but it's not enough for a call to the d.a. Did she say anything else about him? Anything at all? Darlene: He was good in bed, and he liked '50s music, like Elvis and stuff. And that's it. Lisbon stands up. Darlene: Well, that's enough, right? Well, call the d.a. Lisbon leaves the interrogation room. Cho: Got a ht with those deputy interviews. Philip Handler, goes by "Flipper." Badass surfer— it's a long sheet, including time for asault on a woman a few years back. Lisbon: How bad? Rigsby: Hundred stitches bad. Got an address. Lisbon: Let's go. Caravan of Flipper Lisbon: Philip Handler? Police! May we speak with you, please? Lisbon: Mr. Handler? Rigsby: Clear. Lisbon: Mr. Handler? Flipper: These friends of yours? Jane: Hey, guys, come in. Come in. I'm just about to discredit Nimzovich's theory on the french advance once and for all. Flipper: Dream on, trick. Sheriff's Office Lisbon: What led you to flipper anyway? Jane: His hair. It's braided the exact same way as the victim. She did his do. They go to the interrogation room Flipper: I guess, uh, you must be bad cop. (He looks Lisbon) Lisbon: I try. Flipper: Tough. Go to it, sister. Lisbon: You can be pretty tough yourself. Roberta Varnushi. You did quite a number on her. Flipper: Uh, we had... Different expectations that led to... Friction. But, um, what can you do? Lisbon: Friction? She nearly died. Flipper: Do you know what she was doing that started the argument when I ht her? She was pouring the sump oil from her car right into the storm drain, okay? You might as well take an ax and go chop up a family of dolphins. Lisbon: Was Christine Tanner damaging marine life somehow? Flipper: What? No. Chris understood. Chris was a child of the ocean. Lisbon: You like hanging out with children, don't you? Flipper: I do. They're pure in flesh and spirit. What's not to like? Lisbon: Christine was a beautiful girl. Flipper: Yes, she was. Jane: So why'd you kll her? Flipper: I didn't kll her. Why would I kll her? Jane: Did you have sex with her? Flipper: Oh, I thought about it. I thought about it a lot. But no, I didn't. You know why? Jane: Why? Flipper: Because it would be wrong, and I'm all about doing what's right. I wait until they ht legal age, then bam! Happy birthday, baby. Lisbon: When was the last time you saw her? Flipper: Oh, so you can try and pin this on me? No, thanks. Jane: See, the thing is, Flip, Lisbon here is looking at you like you're a porkchop because you fit the profile. Your life is in chaos. You're lonely. You're depressed. You're addicted to drugs and prn and a little nuts, to be honest. You're exactly the kind of man that does terrible things to women. Uh, but I don't think you did this. 'Cause I think deep down you're a good man. You should learn to use your bishops a little more efficiently, but otherwise a good man. Flipper: I saw Chris three days ago— sunset patrol at Devon Point break. Jane: Was that monday with Hope, Win and those guys? Flipper: Right. We—we rode until dark, and then we partied a while on the beach. And then I went home. (To Lisbon) On my mother's life. End of interrogation. Tanner's family wait in Sheriff's hall Jack: What do you mean, person of interest? This guy kll my Chrissy or what? Lisbon: Mr. Tanner, if we make an arrest, you'll be the first person I call, I promise. I'm gonna have somebody take you home. Flipper leaves the room Jack: This him? Is this him? Lisbon: Calm down, okay? You need to go home and take care of your children. Jack: You're dad, bastard! You're dad! You're dad, you bastard! Lisbon: Go home now! Lisbon: Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. You need to go home. Lisa: Let's go home, daddy. Jack: (To Mika) Come on. Lisbon: Lisbon. Yeah. Lisbon: Coroner just told me that Christine's body was put in the water sometime early tuesday morning. So that monday night party is critical. Somebody there had to have known what happened later that night. Rigsby: Okay, boss, we're on it. High school Lisbon: Hi, people. Danny: Oh, thank you very much, ma'am, but, uh, we don't need a grief counselor. Hope: We know how to grieve. Lisbon: Good, because I'm not a grief counselor. The principal didn't want to say "homicide detective" in front of the other students. Agent Lisbon, California Bureau of Investigation. Jane: Hey, guys. Hope and Win I know. You must be Danny and Andy. Quick test—if you could be any animal you want, what would you be? Quick. Andy: Dolphin. Jane: You? Danny: Uh, same, or, uh, a kller whale. Hope: No, a hawk. Win: Uh, uh, a tiger. Jane: Interesting. Win: Why? Jane: When we spoke before about monday night at Devon Point, You didn't mention that you had a party after you went surfing. Hope: A party? No, it wasn't a party. Jane: Not what Flipper says. Andy: Flipper told? Dude. Danny: Come on, guys. I mean, we—we partied, threw a little frisbee. What's the big deal? Jane: No big deal. It's just that you were the last people, aside from her kller, to see christine alive. She was drowned later that night. Hope: That night? Andy: You serious? Hope: Oh, my god. Hope: Um, sorry, we have to go. We have a. P. English. Lisbon: We'll walk you. So tell us about this party monday night. You didn't say anything about it before. Why? And don't lie or I'll know. Win: We were drinking beer, ma'am. Andy: Shut up. Win: What? We're all gonna be applying for college soon, all right? We can't get caught for drinking. Hope: My mom would exterminate me. Andy: Plus we were trespassing. The beach at Devon Point is totally, uh, private property. Jane: Danny, what does devon point mean to you? Danny: Uh, it's... It's my dad's land, and, uh, he's building these heinous condos. We go there to spite him, I guess. Lisbon: Who else was there that night? Win: Us and Flipper, that's all. It wasn't exactly raging. We all cut out about 10:00, 10:30 maybe. Andy: Chris stayed to clean up. She's all, uh, "save our oceans," you know? Lisbon: Did Flipper leave then, too? Andy: He cut out early, after we ran out of brews. Win: Do you think he came back, maybe? Hope: Like, flipper did it? No. Danny: We shouldn't have left her there, guys. Hope: She wanted to stay. You ask me, she was meeting somebody. Danny: Shut up, Hope. You don't know that. Hope: No, but I think it, and so do you. Danny asked her to go home with him, and she said no. Jane: You and Chris were lovers? Danny: Lovers? Uh, no. We hooked up on occasion. Jane: You made love. You were lovers. Danny: No. Uh, I mean, andy was totally there, too, right, Andy? Andy: Yeah. Danny: It wasn't a big deal. We're all just friends. Andy and I hook up with Hope, too, sometimes. Doesn't mean we're... Lovers. Hope: Yeah. That would be weird. Jane: Yeah, I guess. You ever hear of anyone named Pops? Danny: Pops? Jane: Yeah. Danny: Uh, no. Jane: Okay. Well, that's all we need for now. Thank you. Danny: Thanks. Hope: Thank you. Jane: Don't leave town. Lisbon: That's a cop joke. Danny's Father's Construction Site Rayburn: How long you gonna be, you think? Lisbon: Mr. Rayburn, Christine Tanner's mrder may have occurred here. It takes as long as it takes. Rayburn: I already got the developer way up my tailpipe. We're three weeks behind thanks to the crappy labor pool here. Economy like this, and people just don't show up for work? Boggles my mind. Lisbon: Anybody not show up lately? Rayburn: Night guard just this week walked off the job. Cement truck shows up in the morning, can't get on the freakin' site. That alone put me back six hours. Lisbon: When did he quit? Rayburn: Monday. Jane: What section were you working then? Rayburn: Southeast quad. Lisbon: What's his name, the night guard? Rayburn: Eddie Garcia. I got his paperwork in the site office if you want it. Worker: Jorge! What are you, nuts? That load goes over here. Jane looks around the construction site. And more particularity a concrete block Lisbon: The paperwork? Rayburn: Right. What, you think he might have, uh, done this mrder? Jane finds a nose in the concrete Jane: Lisbon! Come take a look at this. Lisbon: What? Oh, yeah. Mr. Rayburn? Jane: See that? Rayburn: What is it? Jane: Tip of Eddie Garcia's nose. Rayburn: Get out of here. (He touch his) AH ! After being at the site Lisbon: How is it you don't even notice a nose in your floor? Rayburn: That's what I'm telling you. We're trying to finish this thing too fast. Kurtik: What the hell's going on? Oh, for heaven sakes. Is—is that a person, someone I employ? Lisbon: We think so. Kurtik: God help me. If it's not one thing, it's... Lisbon: Mr. Kurtik? Dan Kurtik? Kurtik: Oh, sure. Right, just talk to my lawyers. As you saw, I have no knowledge of this regrettable incident. Lisbon: C. B. I. Serious crimes unit. Kurtik: Serious crimes? (He laughes) The man fell into wet cement. If someone had been here with a camera, he'd be on "america's funniest videos." Serious crimes? Come on, guys. Lisbon: I'm sorry, sir. This is now a crime scene. You're gonna have to suspend work until we're done investigating. Kurtik: Suspend work? Hell, I'm calling Tommy Alvarez—the sheriff. Jane: We believe this situation is related to the death of Christine Tanner. You know her? Kurtik: I've heard the name, obviously. It's been on the news. Jane: Your son Danny and Christine were close. You never met her? Kurtik: Maybe I have. My son has a lot of friends. Is this an interrogation? Jane: Is it Lisbon: No, sir, it isn't. We appreciate your cooperation. We'll be in touch, maybe. Thank you. He begins to leave Jane: Hey, Pops? Hear you're good in bed. What's the secret? Kurtik: I don't know what you're talking about, but you mean to be offensive, I guess, and you've succeeded very well. And I'm going to be taking this up with your superiors. What is your name? Jane: My name is Patrick Jane... Lisbon: Jane, stop ! Jane: And I have no superiors. And I'll tell you what I'm talkin' about, you sweaty little pervert. Lisbon: Jane! Jane: You were having sex with a 15-year-old girl. Lisbon: Jane, stop. Kurtik: I never touched Christine Tanner. Jane: Liar. Kurtik: And believe me when I tell you that you just now made the worst mistake of your miserable little life. Jane: Believe me, no matter how this turns out, I've made worse mistakes, and you're lying about Christine Tanner. You were laying her like carpet. Arrest him, lisbon. Statutory rpe. Lisbon: With what evidence? Jane: He's playing rockabilly. '50s music. What more do you want? Lisbon: I can only apologize for my colleague's bizarre behavior. I'm sorry. Jane: Lisbon, hush. Don't be so damn blinkered. Look at him. He was raping her, all right. I just don't know yet whether he klled her as well. (To Kurtik) Did you kll her? Look me in the eye and tell me the truth, you filthy old goat. Kurtik hits Jane on the nose Lisbon: Get him! (To Jane) How—how dare you? To CBI Minelli: You brought him all the way back here why? Lisbon: The local sheriff begged me not to put him in his jail. Kurtik's a big cheese down there. Minelli: That is a signal. Is that not a signal that we should cut this man loose? Lisbon: He ht jane pretty good. People were watching. I had to arrest him. Minelli: This guy is connected. This guy is... He has the governor's home phone number. And we both know that Jane was asking for it. You couldn't just give kurtik a stern talking-to instead? Lisbon: What about Christine Tanner, sir? If Kurtik was having sex with her, that gives him motive to kll. Minelli: If, and that's a hunch based on rockabilly. Lisbon: It's a Jane hunch. You keep him around for a reason. Look, just let us work Kurtik until his lawyer gets here. Maybe we can get something more. Minelli: All right. Work him gently. Interrogation Room Cho: Do you have a thing for youngsters in general, dane? Or was it Christine in particular that appealed to you? That I can understand, because you know, you meet some 15-year-olds, hey're just as smart and mature and articulate as any adult, right? They are adults, basically. Maybe christine was one of them. Kurtik: Are you serious? Do you actually obtain confessions with that gambit? Cho: All the time. Kurtik: Amazing. People are stupid. Listen, I admire cops. I think you do a great job, and I'm happy to sit here and chat with you until my lawyer gets here. But I'm not gonna say anything you want to hear. So relax, huh? Jane and Lisbon look over the scene Jane: He's not, is he? He's not gonna confess. Lisbon: What'd you think, he'd break under the bad lighting conditions? Jane: Let's go back to Devon Point. Lisbon: What for? Jane: So I can put the second half of my cunning plan into effect. Lisbon: Jane, wait. What cunning plan? He picks up his phone Jane: Uh, Danny, hi. Patrick Jane. Listen, we need your help. Do you want to help us catch Christine's kller? Okay, then. Good. Meet me at Devon Point with your friends in, uh, two hours. Great. He hangs up Lisbon: What cunning plan? Lawyer Kurtik arrives Kurtik: Just so you know, I'm suing the C. B. I.And the attorney general's office for wrongful arrest and unlawful imprisonment, and I will drop this suit when they fre you and agent lisbon. Jane: Best of luck. Kurtik: You're not scared of me, huh? That's a mistake. Lisbon: Keep walking, mr. Kurtik, or I'm gonna have to arrest you again. Kurtik: If you were 15 years younger, I'd give you a sht. Devon Point Danny: Mr. Jane? Mr. Jane? Jane: Thanks for coming. The police need your help. First christine, then the security guard. They're at a loss. Did the guard stumble across chris being klled? Maybe it was some kind of love triangle. Tell me, do you sincerely want to help catch christine's mrder, even if the kller is someone close to you? All 4: Yes, of course. Absolutely. Jane: Your friend flipper served time for asault a woman. Did you know that? Andy: It was flipper? He did it? Jane: Could be. Then again, danny, christine and your father were having an affair. Danny: Wait. What? Jane: Yeah. Danny: No way. No, no. That's—that's ridiculous. No. Hope: Danny, get real. We knew. We all knew. Danny: Well, what did you expect me to do, turn in my own dad ? I mean, it's— it's not like he forced chris to do it, you know? She—she was— she was into it. Jane: Was it your father you thought she was going to meet with that night? Hope: Yes. Danny: No. Well, i-i don't know. Jane: Well, just 'cause they're having an affair doesn't mean your father klled christine. Andy: It could have been flipper. Jane: Right. Or someone else. Win: Did—didn't you say you had a way of finding out? Jane: Actually... A way you can find out. Jane: I want to hypnotize you all so that you can remember details of that night. It's safe. I'm fully trained. Hell, I used to hypnotize people for a living. Win: Um, no—no, thanks. Jane: Your subconscious minds may recall things that could help us find the kller. Hypnosis will let you come up with those things. Danny: Well, what— what kind of things? Jane: Who knows? Maybe something chris said, maybe a glimpse of someone on the bluff there. The smallest detail that you can recall could be a vital clue. Danny: I don't want you messing around inside my head, man. No offense. Ah, but that's the thing. With hypnosis, I can't mesmerize you against your will. It's not possible. You are in control the whole time. What do you say? Good. Teenagers sit down Jane: I want you to close your eyes... And listen. Listen only to my voice. Think. Think back to that night. The bonfire... The sound of the ocean. The sound of the ocean. I don't know what you will recall of that night, but I know that you will recall something, Because it's all there in your memory. All you have to do is go back, back to that night and be there. And there you are. Hope: Ah ! Jane: What is it, hope? What do you see? Hope: I see danny's father there above the rocks. Danny: No, you don't. Jane: What is he doing? Hope: Staring at us, at chris. That's it. He's staring. What's wrong with him? Jane: Come back, Hope ! Hope: What—what happened? Jane: You're okay. You did very well, thank you. Win: You really saw mr. Kurtik? Danny: No, you didn't. You didn't. Hope: Danny, I'm sorry. I can't help what I saw. Danny: My dad didn't kll christine! Hope: How do you know he didn't? Andy: Yeah, how do you know? Danny: You know what? Screw all of you guys, okay? You guys suck! Hope: Oh, danny, wait! Don't be mad! Danny, wait! Danny! Come on, stop. Win: Ah, danny's mad. We should go. Andy: Screw Danny. His dad klled Christine. Win: Yeah, well, it's late anyway. Jane: Thanks for your help, guys. Andy: No problemo. To CBI Jane: So what do you think? Did it work? I think... Three, two, one... Now. (He showes the door) How cool would it have been if one had walked in right then, huh? Hope arrives, Lisbon is surprised Hope: Did you arrest him? Did he confess? Jane: Mr. Kurtik? No. Lisbon: Thing is, Hope, mr. Kurtik has a cast-iron alibi for that evening. Jane: So you couldn't have seen him standing there on that bluff. Hope: But that's so weird. In my trance, I saw him clear as day. Maybe it's symbolic. Jane: You want symbolic? You're a hawk, and christine was a rabbit. Hope: What does that even mean? Jane: Bird of prey, rabbit... You tell me. What it means is you never liked Christine Tanner. Hope: Not true! Jane: What it means is I never really hypnotized you. You pretended to be in a trance to give us a fake story and incriminate an innocent man. Hope: No! no. Interrogation Room Lisbon: Just tell us what happened that night. Jane: From the beginning. Hope: Flipper had already left, wasted as usual. Flashback: Danny and Christine kiss. They drink, laugh... Hope: The guard told us to get out, or he'd call the cops. Danny told him to step off. His dad owns the place. Danny ht the guard. He stays down. Christine: He's dad. Flashback's end Hope: He didn't mean to. It was an accident. We couldn't help the guard, see? But danny we could. So we all promised not to tell, all of us... Except Chris. Not Chris. You've gotta understand, everything Danny had worked for his whole life was just washing away because Chris has to do the right thing. He just ht her over the head, and then she was still moving, So he dragged her to the trough there and... Drowned her in it, held her under until she stopped moving. Lisbon: And you, win and andy didn't say a word— two people mrder. Hope: What if I was next? I've never seen Danny like that. He was like a different person or something. Jane: Okay. You're safe now. Van Pelt knocks at the door Lisbon: Excuse us. Danny expects them Danny: I-I can't let my dad be punished for something he didn't do, no matter what a tool he is. Jane: So you're confessing. Danny: What? Jane: We know it was you that klled Christine and the guard. Danny: What? No, no, no, that's not right. Who told you that? They return to the interrogation room Danny: It's so completely not true that it's insane. How can you do this? I mean, i-i knew you had a cold streak, but this? Hope: Danny, I'm sorry. I had to tell the truth. You're only making it worse by lying. You're only deceiving yourself. Danny: It was her, okay? It was her who klled Chris. Hope was jealous of her ever since she started hanging out with us. Used to be Hope who was all that. Then Chris came along, and we only hooked up with Hope when Chris wasn't around. Hope: That's so distorted and not true! Danny: No, I am telling the truth now. The security guard... Just take him! It was an accident. And then chris said she was gonna call the police. She—she said we couldn't cover it up because it'd be wrong. Then hope— i-i don't even know. Hope just went crazy... (We see Hope ht Chris) ht her! She ht her! Hope: I did it for you, jerk! I did it for you! She was doing his dad! She's acting as a judge over his life, telling him his life is over and that he's going to jail because she's—she's gotta show integrity and morals. She was a prissy, hypocritical bitch, and she was gonna ruin his life. Van Pelt knocks at the door again. Win and Andy wait. Win: It was flipper. Lisbon: Oh, really? Andy: Yeah, it was flipper. Jane: What if I said it was you, Andy? You klled Christine. Andy: What? That's bull. That's ridiculous. Return to the room Jane: Have a seat. Don't be shy. Andy: I didn't kll her, man. Jane: Sure you did. (At Win) So did you... (At Hope) And you... (At Danny) And you. All four of you klled her. Hope was always smarter than any of you. You never appreciated that. She made all of you take part to make all of you equally guilty, so that no one could tell on the others. And now you're all equally under arrest. Lisbon: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot... She arrests them. We see Mr. Kurtick arrested. Jack: Statutory rpe, huh? What'll he get? Lisbon: He probably won't serve time, not without Christine's testimony. But we'll have fun trying. You have good kids. Jack: Yeah. I do. Lisbon: You're all they have. Jack: Yeah, I know. He begins to leave Lisbon: Be good to them. Jack: I am good to them. Lisbon: My father was a good man, just like you are. And after my mother died, he was a self-pitying drunk just like you are. He klled himself—damn near k*lled me and my brothers, too. Get some help. Your kids deserve it. So do you.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x03 - Red Tide"}	foreverdreaming
Jason Sands' Residence, San Francisco, CA Lisbon: Mind running it for us Inspector? Inspector: Not sure why you're called in. We can handle it. Place belongs to Jason Sands. The guy's a political contributor. He's been missing since last night. Lisbon: That's why we're here. Attorney general likes to stand top this kind of things. Inspector: Mr. Sands' wife Jennifer arrived home last night With their daughter at about 9 o'clock. She found her husband gone. And this... They enter an untidy office Inspector: Thanks, guys. There has been no ransom demand yet. But I expect we would get some very soon. If you want to take this guy's laptops I can let them know. Lisbon: That's ok. We can handle that. Do you know where his family is? Inspector: Uh...With friends. Mrs. Sands thought it would be best for the little girl and we agreed. Rigsby: Any sign of force entry? Inspector: No, must be a front door job. Someone imposing as his courier or whatever. Jane looks around a little Jane: He's still here. Inspector (laughing): Unless he's invisible. He's not, agent Jane. Lisbon: He's not an agent. He's a consultant. Jane: No badge. No gn. They don't even give me dental. Inspector: Oh, yeah. You're the one they were telling me about—the psychic. Sorry, Gandalf. In our own bumbling way, we did look around pretty good. He's not here. Jane: He's here, and there's no such thing as psychics. He was tortured in this chair... To give them a pass code... Inspector: Pass code to what? Jane: Could you humor me, inspector? Could you try and pick up that sheet of paper? Inspector: All right. Jane: Thanks. That's—that's it. She tries to pick up the paper but it is caught under the bookcase and tears. Inspector: Well, the bookcase must have moved. Lisbon: After these papers were spread all over the floor? Rigsby: It's a door. To a safe? Lisbon: Or a safe room. Jane: Yes. The intruder must have been distracted by something, Left Sands alone for a moment, Sands punches in the code, and before they can stop him, goes into the safe room and shuts the door behind him. Lisbon: Which will open if you press the buttons a lot. Jane (He laughing): I'm entering the top ten pass code Choices. Rigsby: But if it is a safe room, wouldn't it have a silent alarm connected to a security company? Jane: Not if you're the paranoid, secretive type. You make a safe room only you know about. Inspector: I guess we need a locksmith. Jane: Hang on a minute. (He singing) "Farewell and adieu to you, fair spanish maidens. Farewell and adieu to you, ladies of spain. For we've received orders. For to sail back to Boston" He enters a combination, the door opens Jane: "And so never more shall we see you... Again" They discover Mr. Sands' body. The team is in Mr. Sands' room. Rigsby: I look around. I don't see anyone here who could trture a man to death with pliers and a lit cigar. Jane: Picture them naked and ravenously hungry. Van Pelt: Ew! Cho: You know, strictly speaking, he wasn't tortured to death. Rigsby: He bled to death on his own in his little hidey-hole there. Kind of has himself to blame then, huh? Cho: Mm, kind of. Jane: How does the widow check out? Lisbon: The night of the mrder, she and her daughter were at a concert— "Peter & the wolf." Cho: She have stubs? Rigsby: Yep. Jane: Who's the suit hovering around her? Lisbon: That's Michael Claymore Bennett Iii, Sands' lawyer. What about him? Jane: The widow's scared of him or... Lisbon: Or? Jane: Or, uh, he's reassuring her of something else that she's scared of. Cho: Which is it? Jane: I don't know. Could be both. Lisbon: Well, we can't question 'em here. (To Van Pelt) Let's go get started on Sands' computer files. You guys stay here till this thing's over. Rigsby: Yes, boss. Lisbon: You never know. Somebody might confess. They leave. Rigsby watches Van Pelt walking Rigsby: Van Pelt, you're klling me. Jane: Can I ask you a personal question? Rigsby: Nope. Jane: Have you told her how you feel? Rigsby: She's a co-worker. It's against the rules. That's how I feel. Jane: That's not how you feel. Rigsby: I sent out the vibes. I got nothing back, okay? So I'm leaving them alone. Jane: Vibes. Really? Vibes? Cho: That's where he stares at the back of her neck For several hours. Women love that. Rigsby: Oh, shut up, Cho. Jane: You gotta go get her, man. You gotta seduce her. Rigsby: Yeah, well, seduction's not my strong point. Jane: Pfft. Man, seduction's easy once you know the basic principles. Rigsby: There's nothing to it. Oh, really? Well, I don't see a crowd of women following you around. Jane: Why would I want a crowd of women following me around? Rigsby: Okay. I'll bite. What's the basic principle? Jane: Cost you a dollar. Rigsby: For what? Jane: So you pay attention. Rigsby gives a dollar Jane: Love and affection. Rigsby: What? Jane: Love and affection. Rigsby: Give me my dollar back. Jane: When you're seducing someone, what are you offering them? Love and affection. Who doesn't want love and affection? It's that simple. Rigsby: Seriously, give me my dollar back. Jane: Let me demonstrate. I will bet you 100 more of these dollars that I can seduce any woman here. Rigsby: Okay. The widow. Jane leaves Rigsby: Wait a minute. What are you— j-j-jane! Cho: Good job. Jane moves closer to the widow Jane: Hello, sweetheart. Mrs. Sands, my name is Patrick Jane, CBI (He takes her hands). I'm sorry for your loss. Up close, you're really very beautiful. Jennifer: That's... Totally inappropriate and— Jane: Listen to me, Jennifer. I don't know what kind of hold this man has over you... Bennett: Excuse me. Jane: Back up now. He backs up Jane: And I'm not exactly sure what kind of trouble you're in, but I'm confident that I can help you. Call me, and I'll come. Man (with Breathe): Excuse me, sir. You have to leave. Cho and Rigsby arrive running Cho: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rigsby: Hey. No problem. Cho: Sorry. Sorry about that. Come on. Come on. I'm so sorry. The widow looks troubled. They move away. Rigsby: Looks like you owe me 100 bucks. Jane: Early days, Rigsby. Early days. CBI HQ Sacramento Minelli: I'm disappointed. I-i'm—i'm very disappointed, and I'm embarrassed. How could you do this to me? I told the mayor of San Francisco that I was putting my best people on this. (He wants takes coffee) Oh! Holy mother! Who takes off the freakin' labels? I mean, what is that? Is this—is this real or is that decaf? I mean, how am I supposed to know which is which? Jane: Mix 'em both half and half and drink twice as much. Lisbon laughs Minelli: What kind of idiot drinks decaf anyway? What is the point? And what were you thinking, leaving this man alone at an event like that? Lisbon: No excuses. I mistakenly treated him as a responsible adult. Jane: I do have a plan. Minelli: Which is? Jane: Uh, first win the widow's confidence— Minelli: Aside from her lawyer making an official complaint at the attorney general, how is that going for you? Jane: She's playing hard to get. Minelli: Jane, you close cases. You—you close like a fiend, so I tolerate you, and i—and I protect you. And I let you make Lisbon's life a misery. But th-there is a line. There is a line, and when you cross it, I will protect myself and this unit, and I will throw you to the wolves. Jane: Okay. Minelli: As long as we're clear. Mineli's cellphone ringing. Lisbon leaves Minelli: (To Lisbon) Hey (He picks up) Mm. Yes? (He hangs back up) t's the a.G.'s office. Um, mrs. Sands is willing to drop the matter If Jane will apologize to her. Jane: Great. I'll make the call. Minelli: She wants to hear it in person, at her house. In Sands' residence, Jane waits in the hall. Jessica's daughter, Julie, laughing and hiding. Julie: Do you want to see my trolls? Jane: I'd love to. They enter her bedroom Julie: This one's a boy. His name is Woody Sands. She beckons Julie: Yeah. Come. Jane: You have a very nice room. Julie: Thank you. My daddy made it for me. This one's a girl. Her name is Wanda Sands. This one's a girl, too. Her name is— Jane: Whoa. Whoa. I bet I can guess her name. Warren Moon. Julie: No. (She laughing) Jane: Wiley post? Julie: No. (She laughing) Jane: Wendy Sands. Julie: Yes. Jennifer arrives Jane (To Julie): Bye. Julie: Bye. They are on the terrace. She gives him tea. Jane: Thank you. Jennifer: Are you married, mr. Jane? Jane: Was. She's dad. Jennifer: Oh, I'm sorry. What happened? Jane: It doesn't matter. Jennifer: You have a very strange way about you, mr. Jane. Jane: Do i? Jennifer: After the memorial service, I don't know why I simply don't have you fired. Are you usually so forthright? Jane: What's on your mind, mrs. Sands? Why am I here? Jennifer: You know why. I want an apology. Jane: No, you don't. Jennifer: You told me If I was ever to need your help, I should call you. Jane: Yes. And here I am. Jennifer: You were right. Bennett did upset me at the service. He told me the truth about Jason. Jane: Which is? Jennifer: His investment business was a sham, went broke ages ago. Our bank accounts are empty. He left me and Julie with nothing but massive debts, penniless. We're gonna have to sell the house and—and—and—and everything else we own. Jane: I'm so sorry. Jennifer: The i.R.S. And the s.E.C. And I don't know who else were investigating him for fraud. Jane: He told you nothing? Jennifer: Nothing. Nothing. Turns out our—our marriage was a lie. Our—our whole life together was a lie. Jane: Perhaps he was ashamed in his failure. Jennfier: No. Ashamed? Jason? No. I always knew he had a-a secretive, mistrustful side, but this? Jane: Every couple has secrets. Jennifer: There are rooms in this house I didn't even know were there. Jane: Mrs. Sands, you asked me... To help you. Jennifer: Yes. Jane: How can I do that? Jennifer: If I know Jason, he—he— there's something left. He would have hid a nest egg somewhere. Don't you think it's possible? Jane: Whoever klled him certainly thought so. Somebody knocks at the door Man: Sheriff's department. Jennifer: What is this? Who are you? Man: Asset seizure. No trouble. Start upstairs, boys. Jane: CBI. Department of justice. Hang on a second. Yeah, this is in order, but, uh, where's your lethal toxins immunization papers? Man: Excuse me? Jane: Did they not tell you the score here? Did you get your shts? Man: shts? What are you talking about? Jane: shts. There was a mrder here. Man: Yeah, I know. Jane: (To a widow)Excuse me a minute. (To men) Suspected poisoning. anthrx. Man: Come on. Let's, uh, let's go, guys. Jane: Get your shts. We'll talk. Man: shts. Yeah. They go to CBI Lisbon: Looks like Sands was bust all right. He used to be huge, but he made some really bad calls in i.T. Over the past five years, his business has dwindled down to almost nothing. No clients. No income. There were indictments and injunctions and the whole nightmare coming, just down the road. Cho: The strange thing is, until a couple of weeks ago, there was $10 million in his personal accounts in cash and bonds and stocks, most of it deposited over the last year. Rigsby: His business is dad for years. Where do you get $10 million from? Van Pelt: More importantly, where is it now? Cho: That's what his Kllers wanted to know. Hey. Are you sure the widow doesn't know where it is? Jane: No, she's genuinely broke and genuinely scared Lisbon: You're not soft on her, are you? Jane: No. Maybe a little. We need to talk to the lawyer. What's his— Lisbon: Bennett? We need to talk to him. You need to stay well away. Did you say maybe a little? Jane: She's a gorgeous, grieving widow. Of course maybe a little. Don't worry. It's not going to affect my work. I'm a law enforcement professional. Jeez. (He whistles) Cho regard to Van Pelt and they laugh Lisbon: My sincere apologies for our operative Jane, by the way. Unconscionable. Supervising agent Minelli gave him a severe reprimand. Bennett: Well, think nothing of it. I can't tell you how sad I am about all this. How can I help? Jane: I'll try and be brief. You were Sands' lawyer. You had to have known he was in ruinous debt. Bennett: Yeah, I knew there were difficulties, but I had no idea how deep he was in it. I don't deal in his business affairs. I'm his family lawyer, so I look after his personal financial matters, which until recently, were in pretty good shape. Lisbon: Yeah, two weeks ago, he converted a $10 million pension account into cash. It's pretty much all he had. Lisbon talks to Bennett Bennett: Which is his right. I learned about it after the fact from his accountants. It's a huge withdrawal, but, uh, of course, I figured he had much more in reserve. Lisbon: Did you ask him what he was doing with the money? Bennett: I did. He told me he needed it to surprise his wife. Lisbon: He did that all right. Bennett (He laugh): I believed him. Lisbon: What do you believe now? Bennett: I think he was looking at jail time. I think he grabbed as much cash as he could, and he was gonna run away. Lisbon: Thanks for your help, counselor. We'll be in touch Bennett: Okay. Whatever you need, I'm at your service. In the CBI Van Pelt: Hey. We found out where that money was coming from. Sands owns an office supply company that supplies this Happy Landings Entertainment with copy paper. Over the last 2 years, $55.2 million worth. Lisbon: Who owns Happy Landings Entertainment? Van Pelt: It's a shell company hidden in a swiss trust wrapped in a dummy corporation. It'll take a while to untangle. But Sands' company? It's the only one of his businesses under a separate corporate address. Lisbon: In Sausalito? Van Pelt: Odd, huh? Lisbon: Nice work. Van Pelt: Are we gonna have a look? Lisbon: We are. You're gonna stay here and keep digging. Who owns Happy Landings Entertainment? Sausalito, the port Cho: Huh. Doesn't look like a copy paper business, does it? Jane: Uh, no. Lisbon: This is it. You coming aboard? Jane: Why not? Cho: If Sands lied about this, what else did he cover up? They go in the boat Lisbon: The place is trashed. They take gn out Jane: I'm—i'm just gonna wait on—on the jetty. He turns round and a woman points a gn at him Woman: Who are you? Jane: Patrick Jane, CBI. Don't sht. Woman: What's that, CBI? Lisbon: Police. Lay the gn down. Woman: Show me the badge. Cho: Put the gn down! Lisbon show his badge Woman: Okay, police. I make no trouble. No problem. Jane: Who'd you think we were? Woman: Nobody. Lisbon: Who are you? What are you looking for? Woman: This is my boat. I can do what I like Lisbon: Yeah, it's very nice, very put together. This boat belongs to Jason Sands. Woman: Yes. And Jason Sands is my fiance. CBI, interrogation room Van Pelt: Adrianna, we can charge you right now with burglary, Vandalism, asault with a deadly wapon. That's 10 to 15 right there. Wouldn't you rather talk to us about your situation? Adrianna: From you, I buy cookies I don't talk about situation. Van Pelt: Listen. We have enough— Lisbon sends Van Pelt to get a coffee. Jane sits in her chair Adrianna: The handsome one. Gay, yes? He laughs Lisbon: This is a mrder investigation. You've got no alibi for the time frame in question. We're looking at you as a suspect. You should take this a little more seriously. Adrianna: You know, when I was this big, (She show with her hands) I was in a detention camp for two years. You understand? Lisbon: I understand. Adrianna: No, you don't. That was serious. This—no. Lisbon: What do you do for a living? Adrianna: I dance, model, acting. Lisbon: Is that a good living? Adrianna: What's good? Jane: How long were you and Jason Sands lovers? Adrianna: Two years. We were— we were more than lovers. We were engaged to be married. Jane: He was already married. Adrianna: No, he was divorcing her. Lisbon: She doesn't know that. Adrianna: Oh, sure, she does. Why would she tell you? It's embarrassing. He doesn't want her anymore. It is embarrassing. Jane: What were you looking for? Adrianna: And we loved each other. Lisbon: You loved each other. We hear that. What were you looking for on the boat? Adrianna: Jason bought $10 million of diamonds for when we would run away. I was looking for them. Jane: When did he buy them? Adrianna: A month ago. Once he showed me them. They are beautiful. (She laughes) And then he hid them somewhere. I don't know where. Lisbon: You were gonna run away? Adrianna: Jason knew that it was the end of the road here. He was going to jail or going to get klled, so we make a plan. We are going, to, uh, run away in the sailboat. Lisbon: You and him on a sailboat. Adrianna: No, he was a good sailor. He teach me. If, um, those bastards didn't kll him, maybe me and him and Julie would be in Tahiti, rich, instead of here with you. Jane: Y-you were gonna take Julie? Lisbon: What bastards. You know who klled him? Adrianna: Yeah, sure , I know Jane: Tell us Adrianna: If I tell you, I leave here now. You drop this burglary stupidness. I don't testify. Nothing. I give you names. That's it. Lisbon: Deal. Adrianna: These, um, scum pigs run nightclubs. Jason cleans their, uh, drug and, um, girl money for them. It's this money he uses to buy the diamonds. Lisbon: Did they have a company called Happy Landings Entertainment out of Oakland? Adrianna: I don't know. They live in Oakland. Lisbon: These people have names? Adrianna: Dieter Webb and Carter Lewis. Scum pigs. Jane: Scum pigs. End of interrogation Cho: Dieter and Carter— started out as college deejays. Nightlife impresarios is what they say they are. They own clubs, restaurants, boutique hotels up and down the west coast. Drugs and prostitution started as a natural sideline, then became their core business. Lisbon: Did we find 'em? Cho: These guys like to glide under the radar. According to official records, they own no property and live nowhere. Their only address is a p.O. Box. Working with San Francisco and Oakland P.D. As we speak. Rigsby: You're letting her go Lisbon: She gave us Dieter and Carter. I could charge her with waving a gn at Jane, but what for? Rigsby: I don't know, boss. If ever I saw a woman who could use pliers and a lit cigar on a man, that's her. Jane: Miss Jonovic, a moment Lisbon: Jane, tell her not to leave town. He leaves Jane: You said you and Jason were planning on leaving with Julie. Adrianna: Yes. Jane: You didn't mind taking the kid? Adrianna: No. I love Julie. Me and her are good friends. Jane: You were gonna take her away from her own mother? Adrianna: Yes. Jane: Oh, that seems a cruel thing to do. Depends. She is a cold person—Jennifer. She doesn't care so much about Julie. She pretends, but she doesn't really. Tell me something. Do you think, uh, Jennifer has my diamonds? Jane: I don't know. Maybe. Adrianna: Maybe? Did you ask her? He gets ready to leave Jane: Don't leave town. Adrianna: As you like. Jane returns with the team Rigsby: So love and affection, huh? Jane: That's it. Rigsby: Where you going? Jane: To speak to the widow. Lisbon: Oh, yeah? Jane: I want to know if she knows about the mistress. Sands' Residence Jennifer: Do you have children, Patrick? Jane: No. Jennifer: They are the greatest gift. Jane: Yes, they are. Put a little bit of ginger in it. Hey, it's been bothering the hell of out of me. "Peter & the wolf"— Is the duck a flute or a bassoon? I cannot remember. Jennifer: Oh, um, a-a bassoon, I think. Jane: Never mind. Trivia. Listen, I have good news, and I have bad news. In CBI Cho: Dieter Webb's grandmother is 93 and lives in a seniors' assisted living center in Tucson, has for a decade, but she— Lisbon: Let me guess. She's leasing a high-end vehicle and recently bought a nice house in oakland. Cho: You're good. Lisbon: Get Rigsby and Van Pelt on it. Sands' Residence Jennifer: $10 million? Jane: Yes, just as you suspected, a very healthy nest egg. Jennifer: Oh, that's wonderful. We have to find it. Jane: Wouldn't be a bad idea. Jennifer: Where should we start? Jane: I don't know. Jennifer: You found the safe room in a moment. You must be terribly clever at that kind of thing, finding things. Jane: I could try. But, Jennifer, that was the good news. Jennifer: Okay. Bad news? Jane: We talked to a woman who appears to have been Jason's mistress. Jennifer: I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Jane: I'm sorry. You didn't know about her? Jennifer: No. What's she like? H-how old is she? Jane: Mid '20s, eastern european, tough. Jennifer: Good-looking? Jane: Not bad. Jennifer: Does she have the money? Jane: Strong possibility. Jennifer: Life is so complicated. Patrick? Will you hold me? I need someone to hold me. Please. Jane: I'm sorry, Jennifer. I wish I could. She leaves. Oakland, Van Pelt and Rigsby watch the owner of night club's house. Rigsby: Where's the entry team? They were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago. Van Pelt: Relax. Guys like these probably aren't even out of bed yet. Rigsby: Could be up from the night before maybe went out for some breakfast. Van Pelt: We can deal with 'em. Rigsby: Suddenly she's Steve McQueen. (She laughes) Owner comes out of the house Rigsby: They're on the move. Van Pelt: Come on. Let's take 'em. They get in the car. Rigsby moves Rigsby: Police! Get out of the car! Van Pelt: Hands up! Rigsby: Get out of the car! Van Pelt: Get out! Carter: Whoa, whoa. Rigsby: Take it easy, man. Come on. Nice and easy. Up against the car. Up against the car. Rigsby is disracted by a women and her children. Dieter runs away Rigsby: Freeze! Van Pelt (To Carter) : Hands behind your head. Rigsby runs after Dieter. He tries to climb a gate but Rigsby stops him Rigsby: Hands. Give me your hands! Let's go. A little girl makes a sign to Van Pelt: Van Pelt (To the girl): Hi. (To Carter) Let's go. Let's go. In CBI, interrogation room. Behind colored window, Jane, Lisbon and Minelli. Cho: You don't want to talk to me, Dieter? Dieter: I've got nothing to say. Call my lawyer. Cho: What do you know about Jason Sands? Dieter: I know he's dad. Cho: How much did he take from you? Dieter: How much what? Cho: We estimate he stole around $10 million from you. Is that about right? Dieter: Me and my partner, we host parties. I'm doing good, but not that good. $10 million. Jason didn't steal anything from me. Cho: You and Carter broke into his house, and you tortured him to death because he stole from you. Dieter: Look, dude, I know people that know how to do that stuff. You know what I'm saying? If it was us that tortured him, we'd have the money right now, and he'd have his life. I wouldn't kll him. Cho: What money? Dieter: Oh, (he laughes) you caught me there. The imaginary money you said he stole from us. Somebody got there before us. Cho: An imaginary somebody. Dieter: You want my opinion? Now this isn't snitching. It's just an opinion. Write this down. Adrianna Jonovic. She's a crazy armenian dancer that Jason was tapping. Cho: Why? Dieter: She's a mercenary bitch. She made Jason's life misery and made him like it. She used to work for us, so I know whereof I speak. You should check her out. Behind the window Lisbon: The other one, Lewis, has the same line. They leave Lisbon: There were class "a" drugs all over his house, so we can hold him as long as it takes. Minelli: And Jonovic? Lisbon: I think she's clean on this one, but we can bring her back in just to be safe. Jane's cellphone is ringing Minelli: Well, don't let up on 'em. We need a result here. Jane: (To Lisbon)Mrs. Sands. (He pick up) Oh. Jennifer: Patrick, she's gone. She's gone. Th-they—they took her! My baby is gone! Jane: It's okay. It's okay. W-we'll be right there. In the bed, there is a paper: "You know that we want: Not call police and wait our call." Sands' Residence Van Pelt: So you think the guys from Oakland are behind this? Rigsby: Just 'cause they're in custody doesn't mean they couldn't have arrananged this. Jennifer: You said the men my husband stole from are behind bars. Lisbon: They are. Jennifer: Then if they didn't do this, who did? Lisbon: I assure you we're doing everything we can to find Julie. The note left said you knew what they wanted. Jennifer: The money, obviously. We have to find the money. I have to give them what they want. Inspector: Why would they think you have it? Jennifer: I don't—i-i don't know. You have to find my baby. Lisbon: We're trying, Mrs. Sands. CBI is working in conjunction with federal agents Jennifer: Look, I don't care about any of that. (To Patrick) Look, you have to find my little girl. Please. Interrogation Room Dieter: What are you talking about, steal a kid? I've been locked up in this place. Cho: You have friends, remember? Dieter: So you think that I'd be ass enough to hire somebody to do it while I'm in here? CBI, the team and Jennifer Sands are at the meeting table Lisbon: Dieter has a point. He and Carter are bad guys, but they're not mafia. They don't have that kind of reach. Rigsby: Or those kind of stones. Van Pelt: We're up. The kidnappers just i.M.'ed Jennifer's cell phone. Jane: Say yes. Say yes and tell 'em I'll bring it to them. Lisbon: What? No. Jane: It's okay. I know where the money is, honestly. Say yes. Jane waits in the car and talks with the CBI Jane: Still awake? Lisbon: Wide. Jane, be careful. Don't try and get them to say anything or stop them. All we need is their phone. Cho: Just sent us the number. We'll track the kidnapper's address. Jane: Oh, here comes someone. Lisbon: Jane, just do your mind games and get out of there, okay? Jane: Don't worry, mom. A woman enters the car. It's Adrianna, she has gn Adrianna: This better not be a trap. I will kll you. Give me the diamonds. Jane: Oh, Adrianna, you're going down the wrong road. Kidnapping is— Adrianna: I'm not a kidnapper. You think I want to do this? I have to do this. I don't want Julie to die. Jane: Tell me what's going on. I can—i can help you. Adrianna: I don't know you. I don't trust you. Just give me the diamonds. Jane: Okay. Where's Julie? Adrianna: I call a number, tell them I have the diamonds, they give Julie. Jane: (He takes water and drink) Call them. Adrianna: How do I know those are real diamonds? Jane: They look real to me. Here. (He show the diamonds) Why don't you have a look? You've seen them before. Here. (He gives the diamonds at her and her gives the cellphone. She wants looks the diamonds but the gn is annoying . She try gives his at Jane) Oh, I'm sorry. (He takes gn and he gives the water) It's okay. Lisbon: Scan's working. No, this—this... This is not the diamonds. Jane: No, plastic. (To CBI) Forwarding the last number dialed. She tries to take the phone Jane: Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Adrianna: You son of a whore. Cho: Signal on that phone is coming from an apartment building in the Presidio. All units move in. Adrianna: They will kll Julie now. Jane: Who is "they"? Adrianna: I don't know. They call me. They send pictures to my phone of—of Julie tied up. They say I must give them Jason's money, or she dies. I don't have Jason's money. Jane: Did they ask for Jason's money or did they ask for diamonds? Adrianna: For money. Jane: Then they're not gonna hurt Julie If you're telling me the truth. Adrianna: No if. I am telling the truth. Cho, Van Pelt, Rigsby and Adrianna are at the kidnapper's house. Adrianna knocks at the door. Somebody opens Rigsby: Get back. Van Pelt: Police! Rigsby: Police! Cho: Freeze! Rigsby: Drop the wapon! Drop the gn! Cho: Drop it right now! Van Pelt:: Put down the wapon! Everybody: Drop the wapon! Julie arrives Van Pelt: Watch the kid! Somebody sht To Hospital Minelli: So far what I know is you guys sht and grievously wounded a prominent and a very well-liked member of the San Francisco bar. What's going on? In simple, declarative sentences. Lisbon: Bennett's our man. He klled Jason Sands for $10 million in diamonds, kidnapped Julie Sands for the same reason. Either the widow or the mistress acted as his accomplice. Minelli: Which one? Jane: We're trying to nail that down now. If Bennett makes it, he could tell us, but it doesn't look like he will, so we're gonna need a confession from his accomplice. So, um... Minelli: What? Lisbon: Jane has an idea. But if we generate any complaints as to how we go about this, you've got our backs, right? Minelli: Well, that depends. Obviously, we need a win here. But i-i won't sanction anything underhanded or actionable. Lisbon: That's kind of vague. Minelli: The whole point of this unit is—is subtly and discretion and judgment. I expect you to do what's right without dragging me into it. Lisbon: Really? Minelli: Yes, yes, Lisbon. Of course. If I'm forced to it, I have your back. I'm insulted you need to ask. In the hall, Adrianna, Cho and Van Pel wait. Jennifer arrives Jennifer: Where is she? Where is she? Is she okay? Van Pelt: Yes. She's a little in shock, but physically she's fine. Not a scratch. Doctors just want to make sure. Jennifer: Mm. Adrianna: Hello, Jennifer. Jennifer: Adrianna? This is a surprise. (To Van Pelt) What's she doing here? Shouldn't she be in jail? Van Pelt: Uh, out on bond, ma'am. Jennifer: So quickly? Adrianna: I screw better lawyers than you. Jennifer: You've obviously led a very sad and difficult life to be so twisted. Truly, Adrianna, you have my sympathy. Adrianna: You stupid cow... Van Pelt: Cho, let's move. Cho: Oh, hey. What was that name again? Van Pelt: What name? Cho: The one that Jane thought was so important. Van Pelt: Wendy. Cho: Right, Wendy. Do either of you know a woman named Wendy? No. Cho: No? Shame. She'd be worth knowing. (He laughes) Van Pelt: Cho. Cho: What? Van Pelt: Excuse his levity, ma'am. Adrianna: This Wendy person— she has the diamonds? Van Pelt: It's a possibility. Jennifer: Diamonds? Van Pelt: By the way, your friend Mr. Bennett is coming along nicely. I expect we'll be talking to him shortly. So if there's anything you want to pass along... Adrianna: But this other police said that he was a dad man Jennifer: Yeah, they said he was dying. Van Pelt: No. No, he'll live. They leave Lisbon: How'd it go? Van Pelt: I think we sold it. Cho: Are you kidding? We k*lled. Van Pelt: Yeah. They clap hands Rigsby: Well, Jane says give it a moment, let it play itself out. Rigsby goes to the hall but there is nobody Rigsby (He takes his phone): It's empty. They're both gone. Lisbon: Really? Both? (She call Jane) Jane, nobody's there. Come on. She and Cho go to Julie's bedroom. Adrianna is there. Adrianna: It's okay, baby. Everything going to be good now. Everything's good. Hmm? Julie: Where have you been? Sand's residence, Jennifer running. She goes to her daughter's bedroom. She searches in Julie's toybox Jennifer: Damn! Damn! Damn! Jane: What are you looking for? Jennifer: You know what I'm looking for. Jane: I'm pretty certain Wendy Sands had purple hair. You may want to call a lawyer now. Jennifer: Why? What for? Jane: Don't make this difficult, Jennifer. Bennett told us everything. Jennifer: Nicely done. You made me think Adrianna had the money, and you made her think I had the money. Clever. Jane: Thank you. Coming from a fine actress like yourself, I'm... I'm flattered. Jennifer: Is it really in diamonds, or is that just part of the trick? Jane: No trick. Diamonds. Do you know where? Jennifer: I do. Tell me. Jane: Tell me what happened, and I'll tell you where they are. Jennifer: This whole time, you were just playing me. Jane: Not the whole time. Jennifer: That's so sad. I... Thought we had a real connection. Jane: We did. Jennifer: We can again. Jane: No, we can't. Jennifer: You know, i... I never meant for this to happen. Jane: I know. Jennifer: It was Bennett. He forced me into this. He—he planned the whole thing. Jane: No, Bennett is an idiot that thinks he's in control, but you played him like a violin, with those big eyes and those trembling lips. It's a dynamite act. You had me buying it. If only you'd told me the duck was an oboe, I probably would've told you where the diamonds were, and we likely never would've solved this one. Jennifer: The duck was an oboe? Jane: Yeah. "peter and the wolf." The duck is played by the oboe. The wolf is a bassoon. The flute is the songbird. Anyone who's seen it knows that. But you didn't. You didn't go to "Peter and the wolf." You stayed home and tortured your husband to make him give you his running away money. Jennifer: Running away with my daughter and $10 million and that dirty whore. And leave me with nothing?! I don't think so. How do you think it feels that my daughter prefers her father's whore over me? That she loves her more than her own mother? How do you think that feels?! Jane: I'm sure it hurts. Jennifer: I always knew there was a safe in that room, but he would never tell me where or what the combination was. And I had a real breakthrough insight. I realized... That was our whole marriage— Withholding. Withholding, always withholding. Whatever it was that I needed most from Jason... That's what he refused to give me. (She cries, we listen the police arrives) Tell me. Where are they? The diamonds. Flashback, Jane and Julie in the bedroom Jane: Very nice room. Julie: My daddy made it for me. End of flashback. Jane looks at the lamp. We see the diamonds. Front of the residence Lisbon: When did you first suspect it was her? Jane: Oh, I had an idea at the funeral service. Rigsby: No, you did not. Jane: I did. I did. She, uh, she was looking way too good. No wife should glow at her husband's funeral. Lisbon: So you made that bet with Rigsby that you could seduce her with the deliberate intention of snaring her? Jane: I wanted to win the bet, too, and, uh... I couldn't. Just because I lost doesn't mean you shouldn't take my advice. Rigsby: Yeah, yeah, hush. Jane: I'm serious, man. Go for it. Jane and Cho leave. Rigsby and Van Pet are alone Van Pelt: What's he talking about? Rigsby: Nothing.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x04 - Ladies in Red"}	foreverdreaming
Redwood Point, in the forest Sheriff Nelson: The girls were last seen leaving Sullivan's tavern, 1:00 in the morning. A truck driver spotted the car around 5:30 and called it in. Look, I only have four deputies. Only a couple of them have ever seen a body klled in anger. If what we have here is a homicide, I'm gonna need some help. Lisbon: Just to be clear, except in special circumstances, We don't help out. We take over. You need to be okay with that. Sheriff Nelson: Okay. I guess. Jane (To Sheriff): She's not really a morning person. She'll improve. Lisbon: Names of the missing women? Sheriff Nelson: Nicole Gilbert and Kara Palmer. Local girls, both 21. Work together at hunting store in town. Last night was Nicole's engagement party. Lisbon: The car was found exactly like this? Sheriff Nelson: Yep. Well, no. Uh, the door was open just like that. We popped the runk. Ah, yep. dad as a dodo. Jane looks at the car. Lisbon tries to start it Sheriff Nelson: No gas either. They must have left it running. Cho: Hey, there's a different set of tire tracks here that pulled off the road. A truck or big S.U.V., looks like. Lisbon: They're still fresh. Must be from the trucker who called in the car. Make sure forensics gets a mold. Cho: Yep. Jane: What's going on with your dog? Parker: Oh, he's confused somehow. This behavior? He's saying, "hey,look! Here they are!" Give me my slim jim already. Sheriff Nelson: Parker, do you have a better dog close by somewhere? Parker: Sir, this is the best dog in the county. Come on, Dexter. People are waiting on us. Jane: Did you look under the car? Sheriff Nelson: Under the car? Jane: Yeah. Sheriff Nelson: Of course we looked under the car. Oh, crap. Cho and Sheriff look under the car Jane: One or two? Cho: One. Sheriff Nelson: It's Kara Palmer. Jane: So... Where's Nicole Gilbert? They look for Nicole Policemans: Nicole! Parker: Good boy, Dexter. He's got her on lock now. Jane: Is there any way to tell from the scent trail how fast Nicole was moving? Parker: Oh, sure. Dexter's detecting skin cells. They fall off your body all the time at a pretty consistent rate. Policemans: Nicole! Parker: So the faster you move, the thinner the trail you leave. Jane: So are we following Nicole on foot or Nicole tied up in the back of a truck? Parker: I don't know. Jane: You said you can tell how fast she was moving. Parker: Oh, Dexter can tell. I'm just walking behind him. Policeman: Nicole, can you hear us?! Lisbon: Tell us about Kara and Nicole. Sheriff Nelson: I've known them practically their whole lives. Kara was a real sweetheart. You'll find no one around here will say a bad word about Kara Palmer. Churchgoing family, no trouble at all. Jane: Meaning Nicole Gilbert was trouble. Sheriff Nelson: Nicole... well, she had her problems. Drugs and drug-related foolishness mostly. Fraud, petty theft. Lisbon: Any violent offenses? Sheriff Nelson: No. No. Policeman: Nicole! Sheriff Nelson: No, she was more of a troubled soul than a bad person. Tough life. Her mom died when she was 7. Her father raised her on meth and hot dogs. He's in prison now for drug dealing. Kara and her family were all the sab Nicole ever had. Jane: So she and Kara were good friends. Odd match. Sheriff Nelson: Yeah, real close since they were little. In a small town, you don't choose your friends. They're the same age. They're female. That's enough. (Policeman arrives) Kyle, boys, thank you for coming. Kyle: Sheriff. Where do you want us? Sheriff Nelson: Well, you know this valley as well as anyone. Just pick your spots. Kyle: Do we know if she's armed? Lisbon: What do you know about this case? Kyle: Uh, same thing as everybody else, I guess. Some badass townie girl got mad drunk, sab her friend to dealer and ran off into the woods. Lisbon: Kara Palmer died from loss of blood. Nicole Gilbert is missing. Maybe she ran off. Maybe she was abducted. We don't know. Don't assume anything. Kyle: Message received and understood, ma'am. All right, fellas. (They Lisbon: You knew Nicole. You think she did this? Sheriff Nelson: Who knows what others are capable of? She sure had built up a lot of bad Karma. But I don't know. She seemed to be turning her life around. Lisbon: Bad Karma doesn't have an expiration date. Jane: Uh, actually, it does, According to traditionnel buddhist teachings. I'm counting on it. Lisbon leaves Lisbon: Let's go. Palmer's House, she gives tea to Van Pelt and Rigsby Mr. Palmer: People in town are already saying Nicole did this. But I don't believe it. She will have to tell me herself that she did this before I believe it. Nicole loved our daughter, and we loved Nicole almost like she was our own. Mrs Palmer: Almost. Mr. Palmer: Why... why would she kll her? She had her troubles, lord knows, but... she wasn't crazy. Rigsby: Has there been any tension between them recently? (To Mrs Palmer) Oh, nothing. Mr. Palmer: No. None at all. Mrs Palmer: Well... Van Pelt: Yes? Mrs Palmer: That boy. That... That fiance of Nicole's. Van Pelt: Jason... O'toole. Mrs Palmer: We never met him but once or twice, and he seemed nice enough. Mr. Palmer: He works lumber. You know how those fellas are. Like to play the buck. All but sleep at Sullivan's tavern. Mrs Palmer: But, you know, these days, you have to look past the piercings and the tatous and all that, don't you? But Kara didn't think much of him. Van Pelt: No? Mrs Palmer: Didn't approve. I think there might have been some tension there. Rigsby: What was her problem with Jason? Mrs Palmer: Oh, I guess just a feeling that he wasn't trustworthy, you know? But Nicole was in love, and she thought Kara was just jalouse 'cause Kara didn't have a boyfriend. Rigsby: Did Jason ever get violent with Nicole? Mrs Palmer: No. Not that I heard, but I wouldn't be surprised. Nicole had her fair share of that type. Van Pelt: Kara didn't have a boyfriend? Mrs Palmer: Kara could've had anyone she liked. But have you seen the men around here? It's all drunken lumberjacks and hippie pot farmers. Kara had... she had higher standards than that. (She cry) In the forest: Sheriff Nelson: What's the problem now, Parker? Parker: Trail's cold, sheriff. Sheriff Nelson: Best dog in the county, huh? Parker: Come on. Sheriff Nelson: Nicole! Jane: She can't answer you. Lisbon: Or doesn't want to. Jane: No, she's a cptive or dad. Sheriff Nelson: How do you know that? Jane: How far have we come? What, 5 miles? Nicole would've been barefoot, probably drunk. It was a dark night. There's no way she could cover that distance. Someone must have her in a vehicle, and Dexter lost the scent. Sheriff Nelson: Okay. So you're in charge now. What do we do? Jane: It's close to evening. Call off the search. Gather everybody together and... Sheriff Nelson: Give up? There's a girl missing. Jane: Tell me, of the men on this search party, Which one would you guess is a violent sexual predator? Sheriff Nelson: What kind of question is that? Jane: Whose name just popped into your head? Someone's did. Huh? There's always someone. Sheriff Nelson: This is your method? Asking people to guess whodunit? Strange kind of detective work you guys do. Lisbon: Jane's being dramatic, But if somebody did victimize Kara and Nicole, statistics show that they'd be really like to join the search party. Jane: They enjoy the deceit. It's like being the invisible man. Sheriff Nelson: Is that right? Jane: Yeah. So gather up the search party. Let me have a crack at them. Lisbon: He gets results. Sheriff Nelson: I know all these guys. I'll vouch for every one of them. Well, most of them. I'll call them in. Cho and Rigsby are in front of Sullivan's tavern. Jason O'Toole comes out. Cho: Jason O'Toole? Jason: Get your truck outta my way. Rigsby: We need to talk to you about Nicole Gilbert. Jason: I don't have time for this, guys. Rigsby: Let's have a little chat. They enter Sullivan's tavern Cho: Where were you going in such a hurry, Jason? Jason: Back to the woods to find Nicole. Rigsby: How do you know she was in the woods? Jason: I don't. I hope she's in the woods. Because if she's not in the woods, then she can be anywhere in the frickin' world, right? Rigsby: Why not search with the rest of the town? Jason: Nah, I cover more ground alone. Cho: Why did Kara drive Nicole home after the party? Why didn't you? Jason: Because I was too drunk. Cho: Or maybe you two had a fight. Jason: No. We were celebrating our engagement. Cho: That's right about when the fights start. Jason: We video'd the whole thing. Okay? You can watch it and see. There's no fighting. Cho: We'll do that. Where is that video? Jason: It's in my truck. Rigsby: There's this whole Kara issue we have to talk about. Maybe that blew up, huh? Jason: What issue? Rigsby: Well, Kara didn't like you, didn't think you were good enough for Nicole, thought you were untrustworthy. Jason: That's funny. is that what you do? You try to get me all upset or something so I look guilty? Cho: Does it upset you? That Kara didn't like you? She was trying to undermine you? Jason: I couldn't care less, okay? Because it's not true anyhow. Kara liked me well enough. Least I never heard her say different. Cho: Where were you between 1:00 and 7:00 a.m. last night? Jason: I was here, passed out on the floor. Redwood Point Sheriff Nelson: We'll regroup in the morning, first light. Before you go, Patrick Jane from the CBI would like to have a word with all of you. Jane: Thanks, sheriff Nelson. I want you to look at me, all of you, and listen closely. I'd like you to raise your hands above your heads like this. (He gets his hands) Both hands. You, too, sheriff. And you, agent Lisbon. Please. Good. Very good. One of you... one of you here klled Kara Palmer and abducted Nicole Gilbert.I want that person to lower their right hand now. (Nobody doing) Uh, okay. Okay, uh, usually gets a ht. Forget I even spoke. Sheriff's radio: Sheriff Nelson, We have a 1028 reported on Nicole Gilbert... a gas station convenience store. I repeat, 1028 on Nicole Gilbert. In the station, Nicole is sat. She has a Knfe and is writing To hospital Doctor: She had a nasty blow to her head, moderate concussion. Her feet are badly abraded and she has a lot of minor scratches and bruises. Mild hypothermia. Physically, she'll be fine in a day or so. mentlly, it's another story. When you brought her in, she was in some kind of a psychotic state. We've medicated her to take the edge off that, but she's still in deep shock. She has no memory at all of the events that brought her here. Sheriff Nelson: That's convenient. If I just sab my best friend to death, I'd want to forget, too. As soon as she's well enough, I'm charging her and taking her to jail. Lisbon: Sheriff, you have custody of Nicole, but the CBI's leading this investigation. I decide when to file charges. We don't have the full facts yet. Sheriff Nelson: Facts? She's covered in blood. She's carrying what looks to be the mrder wapon, which the forensic guys say has Kara's blood on it. What more do you want? Lisbon: If she well enough to speak to? Doctor: As long as you're gentle with her. Jane: Have you told her Kara's dad? Doctor: No. We don't want to upset her. Jane: Mm. Doctor: She's very fragile. Jane: Yeah. They enter the bedroom Lisbon: Nicole? My name is Teresa Lisbon. I'm with the California Bureau of Investigation. Nicole: Hi. Lisbon: We want to ask you a few questions about what happened to you and Kara. Nicole: I told the doctor I can't remember. Lisbon: That's okay. What's the last thing you do remember? Nicole: My party. I remember leaving Sullivan's and getting in the car with Kara. You know where my fiance is? Lisbon: Do you remember anything else about the party? Nicole: We had a good time. Lisbon: Nothing bad or unusual happened? Nicole: No. We drank a lot... Danced. Where's Kara? Lisbon: You and Kara left the Sullivan in her car. Then what happened? Nicole: I don't know. I don't know. that's what I'm telling you. The next thing I remember, I was in this bed. What's wrong with me? What happened? Where's... where's Kara? Why won't anyone tell me anything? Lisbon: Shh. It's okay. Jane: She's dad. Lisbon: Jane! Jane: sab to death. Nicole (crying): No. Lisbon: Why did you say that? Jane: She was gonna find out at some point. Lisbon: The doctor said to be gentle. Jane: Ah, doctors. Open your eyes, Nicole. Look at me. Open your eyes. (She opens his) I told you the trust because you can handle it. You have to. You will. Tell me you will. (She says yes with his head) What you have to do now, you have to remember what happened. Close your eyes and remember. Lisbon: Jane... Flashback Jane: Close your eyes. You were driving with Kara down Flagship road. Nicole: Pull over. Kara: What? Nicole: Pull over! Jane: Why did you stop? She gets out the car Nicole: I was feeling sick. A man arrives Nicole: Hey. There's a man. Lisbon: What does he look like? Nicole: I don't know. I can't see. It's dark. I can hear... a loud rushing sound, like water. Jane: Then what happened? Nicole: I... I don't know. I can't remember. Jane: You have to. Nicole: No, I can't. Jane: You have to. Nicole: I can't remember. Jane: You have to. Nicole: No, I can't. I... The doctor arrives Doctor: What have you been doing to her? Out! Sheriff, Lisbon and Jane leave the bedroom Sheriff Nelson: That's bull. She's got amnesia, but not so badly she can't finger somebody else for klling Kara. Rushing water, my ass. Jane: No, she's telling the truth. Something happened... something too horrible for her mind to handle. Her memory's blocked. Sheriff Nelson: Well, even if that's true. Maybe it's bloque because she klled Kara. Jane: Well, it's possible. I don't think so. I think she's a victim. Sheriff Nelson: How can you tell? Jane: It's in her eyes. Sheriff Nelson: Oh. Well, then... why didn't you say so? It's in her eyes.Here's me looking for facts. Jane: Why would she kll her best friend? What's her, uh, motive? Sheriff Nelson: Why do women kll other women? Lisbon: Over men. Sheriff Nelson: Could've been fighting over Jason, though he's no Brad Pitt. Jane: She was covered in blood. Lisbon: Yes? Jane: But it rained. It rained hard for a good few hours last night. Only when they recovered Nicole, she was still covered in blood. so... Lisbon: So she must've been under good cover when it rained. She must've been indoors. Sheriff Nelson: She was hiding. Jane: Or she was a cptive, probably near the river... hence the sound of rushing water. Lisbon calls Rigsby Rigsby: Rigsby. Lisbon: Rigsby, get a couple park rangers and organize a search of all the empty summer cabins, storage units and sheds within earshot of the river... caves, too. Oh, and, Rigsby, have Van Pelt set up the video Jason sht at the party at Sullivan's tavern. Rigsby: You got it, boss. Lisbon hangs up Lisbon: Let's go. She leaves Jane: Hmm. Uh, sheriff? There's a man out there that needs to silence Nicole before she recovers her memory. Sheriff Nelson: So you say. Jane: So I say. No one should enter her room. Make sure your men keep her safe. Sheriff Nelson: I know my business. You mind yours, whatever in the heck it is. Sheriff's Office. The Team watch a video. Van Pelt: How's Jason's alibi look? Cho: Alibi's solid. Several people saw him passed out at the bar. Jane: Damn. Nelson was right. Cho: About what? Jane: Look at Jason's camera work. He's torn between Nicole and Kara. Kara: I love this girl. I love this girl. Nicole: And I love you, baby. Cho: So he had a thing for Kara. It's no proof of motive unless Nicole knew about it. Jane: And it doesn't look like they're feuding over him, does it? Nicole: I'm getting married! Nicole and Kara: Whoo! Whoo! Lisbon: Wait. Stop right there. Run it back. There. The guy at the bar staring at Kara, in the baseball cap. Van Pelt: I can blow it up. Lisbon: Yeah, let's get a better look at that hat. Van Pelt: "Earthly Pure." What is that? Lisbon: That's the brand of cosmetics we found in Kara's vehicle. Can we match that image to the D.M.V. database? Van Pelt: I can try. Cho: Rulon Farnes. Van Pelt: Truck driver for Earthly Pure Cosmetics. I can call the company, see if I can get a track on him. Lisbon: Mm, yeah. Lisbon's phone rings Lisbon: Anything? Rigsby: We searched every cabin and shack along the river. Nothing. Lisbon: Have them drop you back at the station. Rigsby: Okay, boss. Jane begins to leave Lisbon: Where you going? Jane: For a walk. Hospital, Jane is in Nicole's room Jane: How you doing? Nicole: People are saying that I klled Kara. That's why there's a policeman outside, so that I don't escape. Jane: Hmm. Did you... kll Kara? Nicole: I don't know. I don't think I did. I do you think I did? Jane: No. Why would you kll Kara? Nicole: Yeah. Why would I kll her? But the thing is, I don't know. I don't think I did, but... I don't know. We hear a scream Policeman: Hey! Hey, where you going?! Jason: Take your hands off of me! Policeman: Don't make me tase you, son. Kyle: Guys, come on. Everybody just take it down a notch. Jane: Uh, what's going on? Policeman: He was trying to sneak in to see her. Jason: I was just... I was crying to see my girl, all right? I was just walking through! Jane: Nobody's allowed to see her right now. Policeman: Come on. Jane: Wow. Nicole: Are they gone? Jane: Yes. Nicole: I'm not ready to see anyone yet. Jane: Are you okay? You need me to get the nurse? Nicole: No. No, no. Don't leave me alone. Jane: I won't. What was it in particular that scared you just now, Nicole? Nicole: I don't know. I'm sorry. Jane: It's okay. It's not your fault. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt are going to Sullivan's tavern. Cho and Rigsby enter the toilet but Van Pelt stays outside. Cho: Rulon, we need to talk to you about Kara Palmer. Let's go. Rulon tries to leave. Cho and Rigsby try to stop him. Cho: Rigsby, get up! Come on, get up! Van Pelt enters the toilet and hits Rulon, who falls. Cho: Oh! Let's go. Hospital, Jane waits for Nicole to wake up. He hear a piano. Flashback, Jane's daughter plays piano: Jane's daughter: Daddy, listen. End of Flashback Jane's phone is calling Jane: Uh, what? Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Sheriff's Office Cho: So how is it you know Kara Palmer? Rulon: This town's on my regular route, and I stop here to eat. Huntin's store is next door to the diner. One day I walk in there, and a tight little pair of buns caught my eye. Boy meets girl. So I walk over, and I start up a conversation. Cho: What did you talk about? Rulon: Offered her $10 to sit in my lap. She said no, but she said no in that kind of way like I was lowballing her, Not no, like, to the general principle. So I guess you could say I've been courting her.I'm through town, (Jane takes Kara's MP3) I stop by, I give her some free stuff. Van Pelt: What did you expect from Kara in return for the free stuff? Rulon: I gave her a lot of stuff, So I'm thinking eventually... some form of sexual congress. Van Pelt (exasperate): And what did you get? Rulon: I disgust you, don't I? Van Pelt: A little, yeah. Rulon: You're pretty. How's your lipstick supply? You beautiful people got no ideawhat unattractive guys go through. Don't I have a heart? Don't I long to be held,to be loved, to be cherished? Yes, I do. So I gotta pay for a little human contact every now and then. sht me. It's not my fault I look like this. Cho: It is, actually. With a low carb diet and exercise, you could look very different. (Lisbon laugh) Rulon: I got a glandular problem. Jane: Uh, how heavy are you, exactly? Rulon: 245. I... I've lost a lot of weight in the last year. Van Pelt: You expected sexual favoris from Kara. What did you get? Rulon: She was a beautiful woman. There's nothing more beautiful than a beautiful woman, is there? Cho: What did you get from Kara? Rulon: Nothing at all. In France, they'd have called her a coquette. I was... always held out high hopes. I mean, there's always hope. Jane: There sure is. Van Pelt: Suppose she never did put out for you. How would you feel? Rulon: If I klled all the omen that had rejected me... I'd have klled a lot of women. Cho: We can place you at the same bar where Kara was last seen the night of her mrder. Rulon (laughing): So were a whole boatload of other people. Cho: Where were you between the hours of 1:30 and 7:00 that morning? Rulon: My motel. Van Pelt: Were you alone? Rulon: Yeah, I was. Cho: So you have no alibi. Rulon: Nope. Doesn't look good for me, does it? Cho: You seem fine with that. Rulon: You know, I read that prosecutors are not real happy with juries nowadays, 'cause those folks watt a lot of crime shows on TV, and they walk in there expecting every crime scene to have, like, DNA, hair, whatnot. And if that prosectorat does not hand them the defendant's spit on a plate, (He ht on the table) not guilty. Cho: You saying you're innocent or careful? Rulon: You'll never know. The team move away a little Cho: He has no alibi, and I can't find an angle to get at him. He's shameless. He likes the attention. Rigsby: Maybe we should let Jane at him. Lisbon: Hey, Jane. Want to have a crack at him? Jane doesn't hear Lisbon because he's listening to music Lisbon: Jane! Jane: Oh, him? Oh, let him go. Lisbon stops music Lisbon: Let him go? Cho: What for? Rigsby: We had to fight to catch him. Jane: Oh, you're such policemen. Yes, let him, go. Set him free. He's telling the truth. Lisbon: You know this how? Jane: He liked Kara. Why would he kll her and kidnap Nicole? Doesn't make any sense. Besides, he blushed when he lied about his weight. A man without guile... innocent. Kara...not quite as innocent as she's been painted. Van Pelt: By the word of a creep. Jane: An honest creep whose stuff she took knowing what kind of a man he was. Lisbon: Free eyeliner doesn't make her a whore, and a man blushing, embarrassed by his weight, hardly makes him innocent. It makes him sensitive about his weight. I think he's a good prospect. We should keep him close. (She see Kara's MP3) Hey, is that Kara's Mp3 player? Jane: Yeah. Lisbon: What are you doing with it? Jane: Uh, listening to music. It's pretty good. Lisbon: But that's evidence. You can't play with that. Jane: Evidence of what, that she likes music? Lisbon: It's in the log as physical evidence. It's evidence. Jane: Okay. (Talking of Lisbon) What's with her? Rigsby: Seriously, if it's in the log, it's in the log. You can't touch it. Jane: Really? All right.Well, uh... I'm sorry. I, uh, I didn't realize it was a sacred thing. I'll put it right back. You gonna release Rulon or what? Lisbon: I don't want to, but I don't have enough to hold him on. (To Cho)Let him go. We'll keep him under surveillance. Put that back. Jane: All right. It's going. Cho: Rulon, you can go. Sorry about the inconvenience. Jane: There it is. # I never hurt nobody # # Never done nobody wrong # # Just tackle me and do it if you want to come along # Jane going to the hospital to see Nicole Jane: Nicole? Hey. You want to get out of here? She says yes Jane: Put these on as quick as you can. Quick as you can. He leaves bedroom and speaks to a policeman Jane: Hi. I... if I may? (He takes his cap) Thank you. I'll be right back. He leaves and the policeman runs after him Policeman: Hey. Hey! Hey! Jane enters and wants Nicole to leave hospital before the policeman arrives To the tavern, Rigsby and Lisbon are there. Lisbon: There's nothing left to eat. You cleaned us out this morning. Listen. Rigsby: Cars? Lisbon: The flow of them. It's like a hum. What if Nicole didn't hear water that night? What if it was the flow of traffic? Rigsby: Then we should have been searching cabins on this side of town, near the highway. Lisbon: We'll split up. I'll get a ranger to come and get me, Search the likely spots. You stay with Rulon. Jane and Nicole are in the car, in the forest Nicole: Where are we going? Jane: You trust me, Nicole? Nicole: Yes. Jane opens the MP3 Jane: I'm gonna help you remember what happened to you that night. Nicole: I don't want to remember. Jane: You have to. Wherever you go, untel you know the trust of what happened, you will be haunted. Until you see Kara's dealer redeemed, you'll be haunted. You have to know the truth. # Curled up like a cat at the corner of everything # # Don't feel bad even if you could # # Because if you did not do it someone else just would # # It's easy # Nicole: Makes me feel sad. Jane: It's the same music that was playing in Kara's car that night. Nicole: Yes. Yes. How did you know that? Are you psychic? (Jane smile) Jane: No. These machines have clocks. They log in their memory what was played when. Kara told you the secret, didn't she? Terrible secret she'd been keeping from you. But she had to tell you. She had to be honest. # That time forgot # # And though somme names have changed # Nicole: I'm gonna be sick. Jane: Okay. He stops Nicole: She said that I shouldn't marry Jason... Because he's no good, and then I said she was wrong. Then she said that she knows he's no coud because... She and him were sneaking around behind my back... hooking up. Jane: I'm sorry. She leaves the car, Jane follows her Jane: Nicole, then what happened? Nicole: No. I don't want to remember any more. Jane: You must. Nicole: No. I'm scared. Jane: I've been where you're going. I know how you feel. I know. But you have to be brave. I'm here. I won't let anything bad happen. I promise. # Bow down before # # Adore, adore # # Bow down before # # Adore, adore # Flashback, Nicole leaves car and she was sicked Kara: Sorry. I'm so sorry! A car arrives Kara: Nicole, get back in the car. Nicole: Go screw yourself! Kara: Get in the car! A man arrives Nicole: Hey, mister, are you looking for a good time? Because my friend here is a cheap whore, and I'm sure she'd be happy (He ht her) ... ohh! # And I'll be there when you get home in evening # Kara come in see Nicole but the man kll her Nicole: Oh! I'm being carried now. I can hear the engine. It's vibrating. Jane: Gasoline or diesel? Nicole: Sounded like a diesel. Jane: Where is he taking you? Is it a long journey? Nicole: No. No, not long. short. A bumpy road. END of flash-back In hospital: Sheriff Nelson (calling): Agent Lisbon, your man Jane just kidnapped Nicole Gilbert from the hospital. Lisbon is in a car with Kyle Lisbon: Oh, no. Sheriff Nelson: Oh, yes. And I'm not happy. In fact, I'm mad as hell. You people are my guests. You can't come in here and abduct my suspects! Lisbon: Sheriff, I will fix this. Let me get on it right away. (She hangs back up) Son of a bitch. Kyle: What's up? Lisbon: Personnel issues (She call Jane) Pick up your phone, damn it. Jane's phone rings Nicole: We're stopping now. It's like an old shed. It was small and dark... and cold and dusty. I'm scared. Help me! Somebody help me! The door won't open. I can't get out. Flashback, she is in a cabin Jane: You will get out. Nicole: I can't get out! Jane: It's gonna be fine. The... the door will open. It will open. Is it bolted? Nicole: Somebody help! Nicole: No! Jane: Chained? Nicole: No, I don't think so. I'm trapped. Nicole: I'm gonna die. Nicole: Oh, my god. I'm gonna die! Jane: Nicole, you can open it. It's your choice. The door is unlocked if you want it to be. Open the door, Nicole. Open it. She tries to open the door but a man arrives ... It's Kyle. END of flashback Kyle and Lisbon are in a caban Lisbon: It's cold up here at night, huh? Kyle: Yeah, and broiling during the day. Worst of both worlds. Nicole and Jane Nicole: He... he's got a Knfe on me. Flashback, He restrains her with a Knfe Nicole: Aah! He's trying to rpe me, but I won't let him. She hits him, takes Knfe and runs away END of flash-back Kyle and Lisbon. Jane calling her. Lisbon: Where the hell are you? Jane: Nicole remembered everything. She can describe the suspect. We're looking for a tall, well-built man with brown hair and glasses, mid 30s. Lisbon: That's it? That describes half the men in California. Jane: Yeah, that's it, but at least we know it wasn't her that klled Kara. And it wasn't Rulon Farnes. Lisbon: Nice work. For this you illegally abducted her from the sheriff's custody? Jane: Yeah. I was... I was gonna tell you about it, but I figured seeing that it's illegal, best to keep you out of it so that you have deniability. Lisbon: Oh, how considerate of you. Listen to me carefully and do exactly as I tell you. Take her back to the hospital right nos and sincerely apologize to sheriff Nelson. They hang up Kyle: Wow. What was all that about? Lisbon: My bad karma. Kyle: How's she doing, anyway? Lisbon: Who? Kyle: The girl... Nicole. How's she holding up? Lisbon: Okay, considering. Kyle: She remember anything yet? Lisbon: We're doing what we can. Kyle: Good. Jane and Nicole in the car Jane: Is there anything else, anything specific that you can remember about him? Nicole: Just what he looked like. that's all I remember. Jane: Doesn't matter how small it is. Little things like what his voice sounded like or what he smelled like or... Nicole: Pineapple. Jane: That's great. (He call Lisbon) Lisbon: Is this the last place to check? Kyle: No, there's one more place. Lisbon: All right, let's go. (She accept call) Hey. Jane: Pineapple. He smelled like pineapple. Lisbon: Pineapple? What the hell go... (Flashback, Lisbon remember had see a desodorisant to pineraie in Kyle's car) Okay, good. Listen, tell Rigsby Teresa needs his help. Me? I'm at the Eagle Pine Lodge off Route 6. Jane: Okay. She puts her phone in her pocket but she doesn't close it Lisbon: Kyle, let's stay calm and think this through. Kyle: Think what through? Lisbon: I really don't want to sht you, but I do have to take you into custody for klling Kara Palmer. What are we gonna do about that? Kyle: It's not like I set out to hurt anyone. I just wanted to talk to Nicole. Lisbon: Before she ran off and got married? Kyle: I've noticed her around town for a long time. I didn't want her marrying that guy Jason. she's too good for him. Lisbon: Please, Kyle, I really and truly do not want to hurt you. Kyle: You like your chances, do you? They take out gn and sht Jane: Uh, Lisbon? Lisbon? Lisbon! Lisbon: Shh! Jane: You all right? Lisbon: Yeah. Did you call Rigsby? Jane: Yeah, he's on his way. Listen, I have an idea. She send his phone in middle of piece Jane: Lisbon, be careful! Kyle sht twice. But Lisbon approaches. So he goes outside the cabin and Lisbon holds his gn on him. Lisbon: Drop it! Rigsby arrives Rigsby: Really drop it. On your knees. Hands, come on. Let's go. come on. Sheriff's Office Cho: Nice work, Jane. Nicole: I was hoping I'd find you here. Jane: Yeah, we're, uh, we're just about to h*t the road. She takes him in her arms Nicole: Thank you. Jane: It's okay. You know, uh, eventually you'll start to remember the good things. Nicole: Yeah. Nicole's father (to Lisbon): It goes without saying... Lisbon: You're welcome. Nicole's father (to his daughter): You ready to go? Lisbon: Good-bye. Nicole: Bye. They leave Lisbon: Hey, can you believe he fellah for that old cell phone gag? Jane: "old cell phone gag"? I invented that right there and then... rather brilliantly, I thought. Lisbon: Oh, please. I've seen that done a dozen times. Jane: What do you mean? Where? Lisbon: On TV. Jane: Oh, on TV. Well, anything can happen on TV. (They are coming in the car) The question is, where have you seen that done in real life? END	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x05 - Redwood"}	foreverdreaming
Nevada-California State Line Cho: That damn GPS is gonna put us in California, Rigsby: I knew it. -Think positive. It's Nevada. Definitely Nevada. Cho: You're dreaming We won't catch it. Stone cold mystery. Van Pelt: Hey. Friends in the authority is running through the prints. Think we'll be able to get a quick match. Rigsby: Hehe, we could never get that lucky. Well, we're gonna be talking to the hand for a long while. Jane: Why is all the gloom? A case is a case. Rigsby: We are in the middle of nowhere, windy as all hell, I haven't eaten anything. God, the smelly reserved bitch. It's been a month assembling the victim, there's all these pieces missing. Jane: There's already plenty to work with, right here. Van Pelt: It's a right hand with the number "43" on it. Rigsby: It's a male hand, or a not very thin female. What else do we got to work with right here? There's not much for analysis. Jane: Let's see, it's probably a white man, mid-fifties. He wrote on his right hand, so he's a lefty. Cho: Maybe the kller wrote some kind of message. Jane: Too faded, and a kller would write it bigger. Lisbon: Consultant.. Jane: Smells of almond, oil, moisturizer, mastic cologne and tobacco, palms are subtle, nails are professionally maintained, so a rich man. There's a faded tan line on the little finger, so we are missing pinkie ring which suggests extra work , in a job where extra works thrive. Van Pelt: So... Jane: He's a upper manager at the hotel and gambling business Cho: Total guess. Jane: What do you wanna bet I'm right? Cho: 35 cents. Jane: 35 cents? Cho: Yeah. Jane: I find that hard to believe considering huge crayon bank u probably hid behind ur bedroom door that could have been filling with all the spare changes you could have accumulated since you were what, 15? Cho: 35 cents, take it or leave it. Jane: I'll take it. You've got a bet. Cho: Alright. Van Pelt: I don't think it's right to bet on such things. That's a human being that died. Rigsby: That's ok. We're in Nevada. You're in California, yeah, it would be wrong. But here, in Nevada, it's OK to gamble on body parts. Lisbon: The hand is three feet into the state of California so he's our baby. Rigsby: Hooray! Lisbon: Yeah, right. Get our friend bags and tags and let's get outta here. Van Pelt: Do we have an ideal list? Lisbon: The print says that it's James Quency Meier. He runs the Quelita Resort & Casino. Come on. Jane: Thank you. (He laughing) Meier's house Ann Meier: Are you certain that he isn't still out there alive? Lisbon: Yes, forensics evidence supports the hand being severed postmortem. Daniel: The rest of his body? Lisbon: We're looking. Ann: It doesn't seem real. Lisbon: When was the last time you saw your husband? Ann: Yesterday—tuesday morning. Jim would often stay overnight at the resort if he needed to be there late to resolve an issue, or, you know, but he would call and let me know that he was— He was gonna stay so I wouldn't worry. Van Pelt: We understand that Mr. Meier didn't have a cell phone. Ann: He didn't believe in them. Van Pelt: So was it him that called this house from a casino phone at, um, 8:05 tuesday night? Ann: Yes. He was just checking in. Daniel: Casinos run 24 hours a day, so jim did the same. I think I saw jim more than they did. Van Pelt: You work at the casino as well? Jessica: Dan is a v.I.P. Guest services executive. Daniel: I'm a glorified house player. Jessica: It's more than just that, daniel. Van Pelt: What's a house player? Daniel: Jim pays me to herd the whales— the big money gamblers. I play with casino money to break the ice, get the heavy action going. It's a good, steady gig. Keeps me out of trouble. Lisbon: When was the last time you saw jim? Daniel: Same as ann— yesterday on the casino floor. Jane looks at photos, Jessica comes in Jane: You dad knew Sinatra? Jessica: Sure. Uh, Sinatra kissed me right here on my first birthday party. That's what dad always said, anyhow. Jane: But you didn't believe him? Jessica: Figured there'd be a photo. Jane: He wasn't around much when you were growing up, was he? Jessica: What makes you say that? Jane: Figured there'd be a photo. Jessica: He wasn't around a lot. But he loved me. I know he did. He just... He didn't have a whole lot of time. Lisbon: The number 43 was written on Mr. Meier's hand. Any idea what the significance of that might be? Ann: No idea. Daniel: Damn! Stupid son of a bitch went for the 2-point conversion. Excuse me. Get me a scotch, would you, hon? Daniel gets up Lisbon: Can you think of anybody who might want to harm your husband? Ann: Jim was a well-liked man, but he stuck to his principles, and that's a dangerous thing to do in his business. Lisbon: Is there a specific instance you're thinking of? Ann: No, no. It's just a feeling Jessica: Mom, it's a hotel/casino and not a crack house. The mafia's not running anything anymore. Ann: So you say. Van Pelt: Robbery might have been a motive. Did he carry a lot of cash on him? Did he wear expensive jewelry? Ann: No. He didn't need cash. Jim's word was money (She begins cry). He wore a ring on his pinkie finger... And a lucky $100,000 chip on a string around his neck. That's all. Lisbon: That's a lot of money. Was the chip legal tender? Ann: In the casino, yes, but only in the casino. Lisbon: Can you give us an exact description of the chip? We want to alert the casino cashiers. Ann: Yes. We have a photo of it for the insurance company. I was going through all of the papers... Here it is. Lisbon: Thank you. Lisbon, Jane and Van Pelt are in casino Lisbon: (She calling) Any more body parts show up? Rigsby: Nothing so far. Possibly the hand was the only piece cut off. Lisbon: Does that match up to any similar cases in the past? Rigsby: Well, this is where it gets interesting. There several cases like this where a hand was purposely left to be found. They're all reno and las vegas-based and involved organized crime. None are more recent than... Ten years ago. They do it to people who get their hands caught in the till. Lisbon: Mafia, great. Thanks. (She closes phone) Matt: Agent lisbon? Matt Etienne. I'm head of security. Lisbon: This is agent Van Pelt and Mr. Jane from our team. Jane: Hi. Matt: Well, as you can imagine, we're all still pretty shell-shocked around here. Lisbon: I'm sorry for your loss. Matt: Well, if you'll all follow me? The casino's on the nevada side of the resort and offers full-service gaming. We recently spent $10 million upgrading the facilities to improve the customers' experience. Jane: They use the same techniques in state-of-the-art animal husbandry to make the cows and sheep feel comfortable. Matt: Really? Jane: Dim lights, soft music, a maze of passages that lead you back to the pens, or, in this case, the slots. Matt: Ooh, don't hold back. Speak your mind. Jane: There's no clocks or windows anywhere so there's no passage of time. Low-priced alcohol is poured down you by attractive young women. Oxygen is pumped into the place to make you stay awake, and the constant symphony of bells and sirens that make it seem like someone's winning all the time. Matt: Ah, but someone is always winning you see, our machines and our games are carefully designed to let every gambler have a taste of victory— just enough sugar to keep 'em pumping their money into the machines and onto the tables. So what's your point? Jane: Oh, no point. I love it. (They Laugh) Player: Well, ladies, ladies, give me love. Give me some love. Jane: Who's that? Matt: Cal trask— a very serious gambler and an honored guest. Jane: A whale? Matt: Exactly, a whale. Jane (to Lisbon): You guys are going to be going over a bunch of boring files now, I expect. So, uh, I think I'll work here, play a little, get the lay of the land. Give me 100 bucks, would ya? Lisbon: I don't think that's such a good idea. Jane: Sure you do. Come on. I'll give it back to you double. Lisbon: Look, here's $100, but you'll give me back double, right? Jane: Triple. (He takes and kisses money) Player: Oh, yeah, baby. Jane: Hi. I'm Patrick. Croupier: Hi, Patrick. Control room of casino Van Pelt: I accessed Meier's calendar. The day he disappeared he listed an 8:30 p.M. Meeting with the notation "43," last meeting of the day. Lisbon: There we go with the number 43 again. See if you can cross-reference it with anything else. Van Pelt: Okay. Lisbon: Matt? Matt: Yes? Lisbon: From what we understand, a hand being discovered like this is an old-school mafia signature. Matt: Yes, I've heard the same thing. Lisbon: It means an individual got caught with his hand in the till. Matt: You don't seriously believe that that's what happened to jim . Don corleone had him whacked? Lisbon: Who owns this casino? Matt: Our owners are a million or so good american men and women who are shareholders in our parent company. Wise guys lost control of gambling in Nevada a long time ago. Room of casino, Jane playing Jane: ht me. Croupier: 17. Jane: ht me. Croupier: 21. (Jane smile) Well done, Patrick. Jane: Thank you. (He pushes his chips) Could we change this up for $1,000 chips, please? Jane walks in the casino and he sits at the Black Jack table Jane: Hi. My name is patrick. Croupier: Hi, patrick. Control room. They receive a call Man: Mr. Etienne, we have a possible code 9 at table 43. Lisbon: What's a code 9? Matt: Cheating. I'll be right there. Lisbon: Table 43? On the video , Jane plays at table 43 Jane: Blackjack! Cal: Keep squeezin' 'em, baby. Make 'em squeal! (Jane laugh) Come on, ladies. Matt arrives Matt: Mr. Jane, may I have a word with you? Jane: Just a minute. Lisbon: Jane! Jane: I'm on a streak. Matt: Yes, you are, and we're really wondering what your secret is. Jane: There's no secret. I'm memorizing the cards Matt: Yes, well, Mr. Jane, we don't like people doing that. Jane: Is having a good memory illegal? Matt: No, it's not. We can only congratulate you on your good luck and bar you from the establishment in the future. Jane: Oh, okay. Well, that was fun while it lasted.(To matt) By the way, I hate to be a telltale, but alexandra is robbing you blind. Matt: Excuse me? Jane: She's cheating. She's flashing her hidden card to the big guy on the end of the table, and when that didn't work, she's dealing the rest of the table cards from just underneath the top of the deck and holding back the top cards for him. (To Alexandra) I think this is mine. Just one sec. Jane: Thank you. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. At the CBI, Jane arrives Rigsby: Ah, the hustler returns. Lisbon says you won a whole bunch of money. Jane: Oh, I didn't do too badly. Rigsby: How much you win? Jane: About $250,000. Van Pelt: You won $250,000? Jane: Yeah. Are they talking to the dealer lady? Van Pelt: Yes. Interrogation room, Cho and Alexandra are there Cho: Very impressive scheme you set up with your cousin mose— 60% on anything under 5 grand, 50/50 on anything above. You must be living pretty large. Alexandra: If by "large" you mean saving up to buy my mom a new live before she dies, then sure, living real large. That big twerp told you all of that? Cho: Started singing like menudo the minute he sat down. Alexandra: Oh, good help is so hard to find. Cho: Meier was on to you. That's what the meeting was for. He probably fired you on the spot, didn't he? It's pretty ballsy to come back in to work after something like that. Only someone who knew he'd been klled would do that. Alexandra: I didn't kll him. Cho: Then how did you know before everyone else here that he was dad, Alexandra? Alexandra: I didn't. I came back to beg for my job. When I heard what happened, I realized that no one knew about our meeting, so I went back to work. I need this job. Cho: Losing your job, going to jail— who's gonna look after your mom and that's a prospect that would make anyone upset. And if you had a moment of insanity, I can understand that. Anyone can understand that. Alexandra: I didn't kll him. Jane: I wonder why Meier didn't talk to Etienne about her. As head of security, she's ultimately his responsibility. Libson: Maybe he figured Etienne was in on it with her. Cho: Where did you go after your talk with Meier? Alexandra: I spent the rest of the night at the hospital with my mother. Jane comes in the interrogation room Jane: Uh, sorry to interrupt. Uh, quick question— When Meier asked you if Matt Etienne was involved in your scam, what did you tell him? Alexandra: I told him that Mr. Etienne had nothing to do with it Jane: But he does, doesn't he? Alexandra: No. Jane: Thanks. You can go. Cho: She can? Lisbon: She can? In Lisbon's office Lisbon: She can go, can she? Jane: I'm sorry. Lisbon: The nevada gaming commission's gonna want to charge her with gaming violations. Why should we let her go? Jane: Why do we get so hung up on every little law someone breaks? Lisbon: Because we're officers of the law? Jane: Also because Matt Etienne is lying. Now you can call him and tell him that Alexandra Yee cooperated with us, and based on what she had to say, we'd like to speak to him first thing in the morning. Lisbon: Okay, but if he is in cahoots with alexandra, he's just gonna call her and ask her what she said. Jane: And she will swear blind she said nothing which will make out friend Matt even more suspicious. Why did we let her go if she gave us nothing? She must have told us the truth. Lisbon: Which is... Jane: Eh, details, details. He gets two boxes out of his bag Lisbon: What is it? Jane: Open it. It's not a fake turd or anything. Van pelt, catch. Lisbon: What is this? Jane: Carbon placed under extreme pressure. Lisbon: We can't keep this stuff. Van Pelt: We can't? Lisbon: It's against regulations. Jane: No, it's not. Why would it be? I won the money fair and square, and I spent it fair and square. Where do the regulations come into it? Cho: So where's our stuff? Jane: Your stuff? Cho: Well, you didn't just get stuff for the ladies. That'd be creepy. Jane send stuff to Cho and Rigsby Jane: Who's your daddy? Rigsby: Thanks, man. Cho: Thanks. Now it must be worth a lot of money, because this is the ugliest watch I've ever seen. Jane: It's horrible. I asked for the most expensive watches they had. Rigsby: Thanks, man. Jane: All right, let's go. I got us a table booked at the best restaurant in town. Apparently, they tell you the name of the cow your steak came from. Van Pelt: That's horrible. Lisbon: Forget the steaks. We're on a case. We can't be seen living it up in fancy restaurants. Jane: Good point. Uh, okay. Little place on the way back to calida. Let's go. At the restaurant, boys playing Van Pelt: So you really won all of this by memorizing cards? You didn't have cards up your sleeve or anything? Jane: No. That would be cheating. Just memory. Van Pelt: How? That's impossible. Jane: Not at all. Anyone can do it. I'm gonna raise you three. Van Pelt: How? Jane: In my mind, I've made every card in the deck into a vivid character. Jack of hearts—a ballet dancer with devil's horns. 2 of diamonds— a duck smoking a cigar. Like that. Rigsby: Why a duck? Jane: Doesn't matter. Every card is a living thing. Every position in the deck is a location in my memory palace. Rigsby: Okay, what's a memory palace? Jane: It's a place that is so clear in your mind that you can walk all around it in your head. Everybody's palace is different. Has to be big and detailed and vivid. My palace is a midwest carnival circuit, I used to travel with my father. Lisbon: Your people are carny folk. You're finally starting to make sense to me. Jane (laughing): Not exactly. It's a long story. My point—if the tenth card in the deck is a jack of hearts, I see a devil-horned dancer at the joplin, missouri, fairgrounds. Cho: I'll see you. Lisbon: Excuse me. Van Pelt: I can't see how that works. Jane: Here. Shuffle these. Rigsby's holding 2 pair— 6s and 9s. Cho—my old friend Cho here— is hoping for his fifth spade to make up his flush. Deal the river card and watch him get it. It's the fifth spade, they laugh, Cho wins Jane: Too hot for me. Cho: Another hand? Rigsby: Nah. Kind of takes the fun out of it when you're playing with a swami. Lisbon: All right, guys, it's been fun playing dress-up, but playtime's over. Cho: Sorry, boss, what do you mean Lisbon: This. It's kind of a waste, don't you think? Jane: Well, I would have bought world peace if I could. They didn't have it at the casino gift store. Very limited range of items for sale. Lisbon: You know what I mean. Jane: I know those emeralds look lovely with your eyes. Lisbon: Thank you. It's beautiful, but I can't keep it. Jane: I understand. Van Pelt: Yeah, you're right. Good night. Lisbon: Good night. Jane: Good night. Van Pelt and Lisbon get up Cho: I'm not giving mine back! Rigsby: No way! Jane: That's my boys. Live it up! Rigsby: Live it up! It's the morning, Jane is out. His phone rings Jane: Hey, lisbon. Lisbon: Where are you? Jane: Oh, just taking a walk. Lisbon: Ann wants to come clean. Jane: I knew it. She had that air about her. Lisbon: If you knew it, why didn't you tell us? Jane: It's an exaggeration. I had a strong hunch. If I told you about every hunch, you'd get very irritated. Meier's House Ann: Matt Etienne tells me that, uh, one of his employees may have shared rumors about him and me. I wanted to be the first to clarify the matter for you, and I wanted jessica and daniel to be here so that you understand there's no subterfuge here. Lisbon: Okay. Ann: Yes, I was having an affair with Matt Etienne. But I didn't mrder jim. Jane: You knew about the affair? Jessica: Yeah. I knew about it, but I didn't like it. But I understood, because dad was never there for mom... Or me. Jane: So no subterfuge, except for jim. Ann: I'm not proud of it. Jessica: Matt was there for mom when dad wasn't. Lisbon: How long had the affair been going on? Ann: Two years. Lisbon: Do you think that Matt did this to clear the field with you? Ann: No. No. Jane: Maybe he had the idea that that's what you wanted him to do. Jessica: No. You have no right to say such things 'cause my mother is not some sort of... Daniel: Hey. Hey. Hush. Ann: I betrayed my husband. I lied to him. But I loved him, and I did not wish him dad. Ask Matt and he'll tell you the same thing. Lisbon: We will. Thanks. Girls get up, Jane speaks to Daniel Jane: Uh, listen, uh... I don't want agent lisbon to hear about this. She doesn't really approve of my gambling. Daniel: No? Jane: No. I was hoping that maybe you could set me up in a good, high-stakes game of poker. You know, with someone like cal trask, you know, a whale. Daniel: I heard about your hot hands on the casino floor. Jane: Yeah, I'm feelin' lucky. Daniel: I can set you up, sure. Jane: Appreciate it. All right. Mum's the word. CBI is at Etienne's house Matt: I'm guessing that you're not just in the neighborhood. Lisbon: Mr. Etienne, I have a warrant to search your property. Jane: That's a sweet boat. Lisbon: You let that dealer, alexandra yee, run her scam because she knew about you and mrs. Meier. Isn't that so? And she thrat to tell Mr. Meier if you fired her. Matt: That's about the size of it, yeah. Lisbon: Why didn't you tell us you were involved with mrs. Meier from the start? We were bound to find out. Matt: Because it's not pertinent. Jim knew that ann was out of their relationship a long time ago. The two of them came to an understanding. He was married to his job. So what me and ann have between us, it's nobody's business but our own. Jane: Been doing a little work on the place? Matt: No. Jane: Look at this. You see, the footprints going that way are deeper than the footprints coming this way. Matt: Yeah. Jane: Which means someone carried something heavy into your garage, but they didn't bring it out. They enter the garage Jane: Whoo! Look at you. You got some stuff. The fridge .(He looks at car) That is nice. Lisbon opens, Meier is there CBI, interrogation room Cho: Let's start at 8:00 p.M. The night jim Meier was mrder and stuffed in your fridge. Matt: I called ann from the casino at around 8:00 p.M. When I saw that jim's car was still parked at the resort. Now that normally meant that he was staying the night, so we agreed to meet at 12:30 that night. Cho: But you left work at 11:00 p.M. What did you do with the 90 minutes? Matt: I went home, changed clothes and just relaxed a while Cho: Calida's a small town. There was plenty of time for you and ann to bash his head in, dump the hand and hide the body before going to your hideaway. Matt: I never meet ann at my house. Cho: That's very delicate of you. Matt: We always met at the piney branch motel. It's on route 6. That's where we were that night. Cho: The m.E. Says jim was klled sometime between the hours of 10:00 p.M. And 1:00 a.M. that's right in the sweet spot of your free time. Matt: I didn't kll him. Cho: Was she giving you half of his estate if you made him disappear? Matt: I have my own money. I don't need any of jim's. Cho: But you needed his wife. Matt: It's not like that. Lisbon: It's exactly like that. You wanted jim's life, so you took it out from under him. Matt: Look, the last time I saw jim, he was watching his whale tapes. He gets all of his surveillance footage on dvds, and he watches it night and day, trying to figure out what makes them tick, keep 'em on the hook. Jim was obsessed with the casino. That's what he loved, not Ann. He didn't care what she did. interrogation ends Van Pelt: Lisbon, we got the autopsy report back on Meier. Died of blunt force trauma to the head. Apparently, he was ht several times with a heavy cylindrical object like a pipe or a bat. There were also abrasions around his neck like something was ripped off—his $100,000 poker chip, I assume. Lisbon: Check the piney branch motel see if Ann Meier and Matt Etienne were there when he said they were. Van Pelt: Okay. Lisbon: Rigsby, jim Meier was spying on his guests, kept all the footage on dvd. Maybe he saw something he shouldn't have. Go to his office and see if you can locate the footage. Rigsby: Yes, boss. Lisbon: And check up on Jane. Jane is in a game of poker Cal: Thank you, darlin'. Women: You're welcome. Daniel: Gentlemen, this is my friend Patrick Jane, come to play some cards with us tonight if everyone's agreeable. Cal: Good to see you. Want a sandwich? Hey, Freddy, bring over some sandwiches. Freddy: Kiss my ass. Cal: Sit down. Sit down. You want to play, too, Danny boy? Daniel: Thought I might. Freddy: How you feeling, goldilocks? Feeling lucky? Jane: I'm sorry. Are we here to share our feelings or to play cards? Cal: Boom! Watch out, Freddy. They laugh Office's Meier, Cho and Rigsby are there Cho: Anything over there? Rigsby: I got nada. We're gonna have to go through these books. Cho take his cellphone Rigsby: Who are you calling? Game of poker, Jane's cellphone rings Nancy: Aces and 3s. Flush wins. Jane: Ah. New girlfriend. He picks up Cho: Jane. Rigsby: Ask him how much he's winning. Jane: Not the best timing. Just deal me out of this next hand, please. Cal: Oh, we'll wait. Cho: What are you doing? Jane: Harpooning a whale. Talk fast. Cho: Yeah, we're in Meier's work office. He was watching a surveillance dvd the night he died. We think it might be in a book, but there's about 500 books. Jane: Are they in any kind of order? Cho: Yeah, there's a lot of military history, gaming theory, reference section. Jane: Try the bible or "robert's rules of order." Cho: Okay, thanks. Jane hangs up Cho: Hey, how much have you... He didn't say. Jane: Sorry about that. (To Freddy) Nice win. Women. Cal: Yeah, women. Nancy: $1,000 to you, sir. Cho finds DVD in the book Rigsby: I don't care what he says. That man is psychic. Cho: Right. They look at the video Rigsby: Room 706. That's cal trask's suite. Cho: I see her. Rigsby: Working girl. Cho: She looks familiar, though. Rigsby: Why, that's jessica Meier, isn't it? The victim's daughter? Cho: Dressed for a party. There's no cake or balloons. CBI, Lisbon and Jessica Lisbon: Here's you arriving at trask's hotel suite at 1:30 in the morning. And here's you leaving 45 minutes later. Care to comment on that? Jessica: No. Where did you get this? Lisbon: From the way you're dressed, it appears that some sort of sexual transaction took place. Jessica: No. Lisbon: Okay, I was guessing. What did take place? Jessica: Nothing. Lisbon: We looked into your financial situation. It's bad. You and your husband are swimming in credit card debt. You've refinanced your house three times in the past two years. You even had a car repossessed. Jessica: We ht a rough patch. Lisbon: Why? Where'd the money go? Jessica: Daniel is a professional gambler. He has his ups and downs, you know, as in any business. Lisbon: Jessica, your father was watching this video the night he died. Jessica: Oh, my god. Lisbon: What does that make you think? Jessica: I don't know. Lisbon: Makes me think this video had something to do with his death. Return to game of poker Cal: All in. Daniel: Call. Jane: Call. Cal plays his cards Nancy: Three 8s. Daniel plays his cards Nancy: Full house. Jane: Damn. He plays his cards Nancy: Triple 9s. Full house wins. Daniel: Sorry, Cal. Cal: You got me, kid. Daniel: Guess so. Cal: One win each. You and me are gonna have to play a decider. Daniel: Sure thing. Cal: Patrick. Jane: Cal. Cal: Good night, freddy. Daniel: Man, we took him for a lot of money. Jane: Yes, we did. I took most of it, but you didn't do too bad. Daniel: Horse pucky, dude. It was me, skinned him. Jane: Whatever, kid. Daniel: Let's go. Heads-up. Jane: Oh, no, no. Rain check for me. Daniel: What's the matter, my friend? You scared? Jane: Open up a fresh pack, nancy, would you? Cal walks into the casino, Rigsby and Cho stop him Rigsby: Cal Trask? We're C.B.I. Agents. Cal: Good for you. Cho: We're investigating the mrder of jim Meier. We'd like to ask you a few questions. Cal: Ohh. Ask 'em quick. I've been up for 48 hours. I just lost $180,000. I need to brush my teeth and go to bed. They go to Meier's office and see the video Cal: Jim was spying on me? Rigsby: On all his V.I.P. Guests, 24/7. This is what he was watching the night he died. Cal: Son of a bitch. Rigsby: Explain for us the nature of your relationship with Jessica Meier-Cardera. Cal: It's a large question. Hard to say. Cho: Okay. More specifically, why did she come to your room in the middle of the night dressed like a hooker? Cal: Think I'll hold my peace on that. If she has something she wants to tell you, she will, I guess. Rigsby: We're thinking maybe Jim was peeved, maybe came to have a word with you about screwing his only daughter. Maybe things escalated, and maybe you got in a fight. Accidents happen. Cal: Your thinking is wrong. Cho: You can see how it looks, though. Cal: Okay. Stop the train. I'll get off here. Night before this happened, I was playing a table stakes game with Daniel, her husband. Man's a degenerate gambler. Degenerate. Anyway, I cleaned him out, but he wouldn't quit. Wants to keep playing, but he's got no collateral, and I don't trust him for an i.O.U. So he says he'll put up his wife against 50 grand... The sexual favors of his wife. Rigsby: As collateral on a poker game? Cal: Yep. So I said sure. I mean, action's action, and jessica Meier is a nice piece of pie. Cho: She's very attractive. Cal: Anyway, Daniel and I play again. Naturally, I bat him again. He backed his word. I'll give him that. He said he was gonna send her over to my room the next night, and he did. The man's a second-rate card player, but he knows how to control his womenfolk. Rigsby: She came to your room, and then what? Cal: I took what was owed me. Rigsby: You had sexual intercourse with her? Cal: Yeah. Cho: How did she feel about that? Cal: Not super enthusiastic. Willing... 100% willing... But not happy. Hey, a bet's a bet, right? Return to the game of poker Daniel: So I have to win this hand to stay in, huh? Jane: Uh, I guess you do. The glass falls, Nancy and Daniel look round Daniel: Check. Jane: $2,000. Daniel: Call. Jane: Excuse me. He takes a look at Daniel, sees his cards and thinks he'll win Daniel: I'll take one. Jane: Two. Thank you. That good, huh? Oh, wow. That good. Daniel: That good. I can't lose. Jane: Well, it's a shame you got diddly-squat to bet with. What's the bet, kid? Daniel: I forgot. (He takes out Meier's chip) The bet, my friend, is $105,000. $105,000. Jane: And I see you. Daniel: You should trust me when I tell you things. (He puts his cards) I told you I couldn't lose. Four kings. Booyah! Jane: That's pretty. Not as pretty as this. Straight flush. Daniel: No. Jane: Yes. Daniel: That's impossible. Nancy: His pot. Jane: That's my pot. (He takes Meier's chip) Look at this. I see you. Yes, I do. Daniel: Whatever, man. Later. He stands up Jane: Not much later. Daniel opens the door. Cho and Rigsby are there Rigsby: Let's go. CBI, interrogation room Lisbon: Tell us, how did you end up with jim Meier's lucky poker chip? Daniel: That night, as I was leavin', Jim followed me to the parking lot. He'd seen this tape with Jessica and Cal, and he knew I must have something to do with it. I said, sure I did. Screw him. Like he was such a great husband and father, you know? He called me a degenerate low-life pimp, fired me then and there, and he said he'd do everything in his power to get me out of Jessica's life. I couldn't let that happen. I remembered the stories they told in the room about the mafia ht men leaving a hand behind as a message, you know? I did it to make 'em think it was mob-related. Flashback, Daniel hits Jim and takes chip Daniel: I dumped the body at matt's, 'cause I knew his affair with ann would come to light. Lisbon: Did your wife have anything to do with this Daniel: No. No. She had nothing to do with this. And the idiot never suspected it was me. (To Jane) How's that for denial? She didn't know it was me. How did you know it was me? Jane: Well, when we first met, you were more concerned about the college football scores than you were your father-in-law's mrder. Daniel: So? Jane: So when you're searching for a k*ller, the degenerate gambler in the room is a good person to look at. Daniel: I'm not a degenerate. I'm a professional. Just having a streak of bad luck. Lisbon: Yes, you are. Let's go. Daniel: That last hand— how did you do that? Lisbon: Stand up. Put your hands behind your head. Jane: Oh, uh, I cheated. Daniel: But how? Jane: Next time we play, I'll show you. Ann, Jessica and Cho look the scene Ann: It's okay, baby. It's gonna be okay. Jane enters the room and takes out the chip Jane: I believe this is yours. Ann: Thank you. She gives this to Jessica Jane: Your father died protecting you. So in the end, he... He was there for you. Jessica: Thank you. Jane: Be good to yourself. (To Cho) You, too. Jane gets up Cho: This way, ladies. Jane goes to the sofa, Cho and Rigsby come in to see him Rigsby: We were wondering how much money you won in that game. Jane: Oh, I don't know. $300,000, something like that. Cho: So where is it— the money? Jane: I spent it. Cho: On what? Jane: You know, stuff. In hospital, Alexandra cries, the nurse brings a suitcase Nurse: A really cute blonde guy left this for you at the front desk. Alexandra opens the suitcase and sees money Alexandra: Oh, my god! END	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x06 - Red Handed"}	foreverdreaming
Temple of Harmony Kristina Frye: Rosemary, please don't go. I'm only trying to help. Rosemary: I'm not listening to you anymore. Kristina: Rosemary, you're in serious danger. Rosemary: I'm not listening. Rosemary walks in the street. Her phone rings. She looks at it and hangs up. A car starts to drive and follows Rosemary who tries to run. Rosemary: No! The car knocks down Rosemary who dies and leaves the place quickly. Later, the police is there. Marco Francis: Thank you for coming so quickly. Lisbon: Your victim is the widow of Macon Tennant. Founder of Calsure Financial. Close friends of the lieutenant governor. Rigsby: Yeah, we got to use the chopper. Francis: Cool. Well, we have two witnesses who saw a silver sedan deliberately chase her down. Uh, we're getting paint off of the trash cans right now. Hopefully we'll get a make and model. Uh, we've also got a partial plate. Lisbon: Sounds like you're on top of it. Francis: Sure, but I don't mind getting your backup. Lisbon: We're not backup. We're lead. Francis: Yes, ma'am. A few days ago, Rosemary here filed a missing persons report on her teenage son Travis. He had been gone for a week, but he's run away from home twice, and he's done a stint in juvie, so... Rigsby: What was the juvie charge? Francis: D.U.I. on a learner's permit. Her house is eight blocks that way, so we figured that she was walking home, but from where, we're not sure. Kristina: She was with me. Francis: And who are you exactly? Kristina: My name is Kristina Frye. I was Rosemary's spiritual advisor. Jane: I'm sorry. Did— did I hear that correctly? Lisbon: Miss Frye, you were with her where? Kristina: At my house. We had finished a session. We had contacted her husband. Lisbon: Her dad husband? Kristina: Oh, he knew this was gonna happen to her. He warned her that she was putting herself in terrible danger. Lisbon: From whom? Kristina: I don't know. I'm merely a channel. Jane: A channel for what? Kristina: For the energy of the departed souls. Jane: Okay. Oh, so you knew that this mrder was gonna happen? Kristina: I didn't know. Her husband knew. I just passed the warning along to Rosemary. Jane: Okay. Got it. Uh, by her own admission, she's either, uh, a channel for the energy of the departed souls or she's involved in this mrder. So you got a choice. You can call ghostbusters or we can take this lady downtown. Lisbon: Miss Frye, would you mind coming into our office in the morning and answering a few more questions in detail? Kristina: If I could be of any help, I'd be glad to. Please call me Kristina. [Jane laughs] [To Jane] Where is all this anger I feel coming from? Jane: Not from me. Maybe you're projecting. Kristina: No. Rosemary was my friend. Am I sad? Of course. Am I angry? Only that somebody would do such a terrible thing to her. Don't take this the wrong way, but you are completely misreading the situation. Jane: I am, am I? Oh, this is gonna be good. CBI, workspace Lisbon: How long have you known Rosemary Tennant? Kristina: Almost three years. Jane: Do you charge for your services? Kristina: Yes. How much depends on the resources of the individual client, but I never turn anyone away. Jane: How much did you charge Rosemary? Kristina: $500 per hour. Jane: How many hours a week? Kristina: Five to six. Jane: Oh, 3 grand a week. Nice. Kristina: Rosemary was a troubled soul. She needed intensive help. Van Pelt: What was troubling her? Kristina: Her husband was a powerful anchor in her life. After his death, I think she felt adrift, vulnerable. And people that she shouldn't have trusted recognized her weaknesses and played on them. Jane: Oh, really? Lisbon: Any people in particular? Kristina: Too many to mention. As a result, I think her relationship with her children may have suffered. Van Pelt: That would be Clara and Travis, yes? Kristina: Mm-hmm. Van Pelt: Suffered how? Kristina: I'm sorry. I'm not comfortable sharing any more than that with you. Jane: Mm. Van Pelt: Travis went missing several days ago. What did she have to say about that? Kristina: Truly, I'd love to help you, but my practice is boun by the same client confidentiality codes that all doctors abide by. Lisbon: You have a professional therapist's license with the state? Kristina: Yes, I do. Jane: Your client's dad. Kristina: Her earthly vessel is dad. When her soul completes its journey, I could ask her if it's all right to share her problems with you in more detail. I recorded all of our sessions on CD. If she says yes, I'll give them to you. Jane: Why bother with that? Why not just ask her who klled her? Kristina: Of course I will, but she may not know. Death doesn't grant omniscience. Jane: You're good. Kristina: I like to think so. Jane: Yes, you do. Kristina: I think it's important to love one's self. How do you feel about yourself? Jane: Oh, you tell me. And forget about the $500 an hour. I'm on civil service pay. Kristina: Okay, for free then. I think you act assured and arrogant, but inside you are troubled with deep guilt and self-loathing. A recent trauma in your past perhaps? But you're more than a little unstable. [To Lisbon] You have your work cut out for you. Van Pelt: You are good. Jane: Please. Not to boast, but I am quite a well-known horrible tragedy. A mere half-hour on the internet would tell you that I'm consumed with guilt and self-loathing. Kristina: One look in your eyes would tell me that and what makes you think I would spend any time researching you on the internet? A little self-involved maybe? [To Lisbon] May I go? Lisbon: Yes. Thank you for your time. Kristina: Feel free to call me any time. Lisbon: We will. She leaves. Van Pelt and Lisbon look at Jane. Jane: What? Jane, Lisbon and Rigsby go to Rosemary's home. Lisbon: Do we know who's home? Rigsby: Until two days ago, the residents were Travis Tennant, Rosemary Tennant and a semipermanent houseguest, name of Jeremy Hale, portrait photographer and Mrs. Tennant's boyfriend, [Lisbon rings] according to the gardener and pool guy. Jeremy: Dooley. Dooley, come here. Can I help you? Lisbon: Mr. Hale? Jeremy: Yes. Lisbon: California bureau of investigation. You mind if we come in? Jeremy: No, not at all. [They come in] Uh, sorry about the mess. Lisbon: Looks like you weren't alone last night. Jeremy: Well, I was at a, uh, gallery opening, but someone's always here. Rosie liked to have people around, and, well, you know us creative types— any chance to, uh, put off work. Rigsby: How long have you lived here? Jeremy: Uh... Going on six months. I'm a, uh, a photographer, and I met Rosemary at a show. I came to do a portrait, and then I guess we just kinda gelled, and I never left. Jane: So you and Mrs. Tennant were lovers? That's what everyone says. Jeremy: Did I love her and vice versa, yes. But lovers? We were close. She understood me better than anyone. Lisbon: Living here, you must have gotten to know her kids pretty well. Jeremy: Clara's all grown up. Didn't come around much anymore. And Travis— that kid has some problems. Lisbon: How so? Jeremy: I think after his dad died, he just lost it— on drugs, stealing stuff, acting out in crazy ways. Rigsby: When was the last time you saw him? Jeremy: Over a week ago. Rosie found drugs in his bedroom. They had a big fight. He split. I don't know where. He's got a hundred crazy friends to hide out with. Jane: Excuse me. Uh, do you mind if I take a look around? Jeremy: No. Go for it. Jane: Thank you. [He moves away] Lisbon: Rosemary put you in her will a few months back, didn't she? Jeremy: Yeah, and I felt bad about that, actually. It's too much. But Rosemary was such a generous person, and to refuse her generosity would be to, you know, deny her essence. Rigsby: The day before she died, she made an appointment with her estate lawyer, told him she wanted to make further alterations to the trust. Jeremy: Really? I had no idea. Lisbon: What do you think that was about? Jeremy: I could only imagine it has to do with Travis. Cut him off, and maybe it would straighten him out. Jane: Lisbon! Jeremy: Oh, you found my studio. Jane: She was quite beautiful, wasn't she? You really captured so much in her eyes. It's like she's talking to us. Jeremy: Rosemary was an easy subject, and those photos still don't do her justice. Rigsby: This is quite a setup. Lisbon: Darkroom, state-of-the-art equipment. It's nice to have a benefactor. Jeremy: I'm blessed. Jane: Or clever. You say that Travis left because he and his mom had a fight. Are you sure about that? Jeremy: Well, of course. I was there. Jane: I think Mrs. Tennant turned a blind eye towards her son's problems because he lost his dad. He didn't leave because of her. He left because of you. Jeremy: What are you talking about? Jane: I think this was Travis' room. There's old poster tape here on the walls. There's stickers behind this door and... dents... up here, from where a lacrosse ball was hitting it. Travis plays lacrosse, doesn't he? Jeremy: He used to before he got into drugs. Jane: And here— this pane of glass has a crack in it right at elbow or fist height. Must have been quite the argument between you two. Jeremy: Okay, that's enough. Jane: The only question is, did you take his room as soon as he left or did he leaves because you took his room? Jeremy: You're in my personal space. Please step back. Jane: Excuse me. [He steps back] So you kick him out of here, he has to find someplace safe, someplace to hide where change can't find him. Rigsby: So where'd he go? Jane points his finger upward and goes up. Alone in a little bedroom, Jane takes a picture of Travis with his family. There's a carousel in the background. Jeremy: Yeah, it's here on the right. [He shows Travis' room to Lisbon and Rigsby] He was happy in a smaller room. Rigsby: Yeah, I bet. Jeremy: Excuse me, but there's a definite note of uncalled for hostility in your voice. What is that about? Lisbon: He's just trying to do his job. CBI, workspace Lisbon: I know Travis Tennant is suspect number one, but Jeremy isn't exactly grieving right now. Van Pelt: I'll do some digging on hale, see what I come up with. Lisbon: Who's to say the kid's not dad? Maybe he klled both of them. More money in the will for him. Anything on the business side? Rigsby: Well, the psychic was right. Every high-end con artist and social parasite in town was hitting Rosemary up for a million. These guys are all white-collar leeches, not mrder. Jane: This looks like her. A young woman comes. Lisbon: The daughter. Miss Tennant, I'm Agent Lisbon. Thank you for coming. Clara: I came as soon as I could. Has anyone found my brother? Lisbon: Please have a seat. We're so sorry for your loss. To answer your question, no. Travis is still missing. But we're doing everything we can to find him. Can you tell us about your mother? Anything might help. Clara: I just can't believe she's gone. I mean, she was such a good person. Everybody loved her, and... for her to die in the gutter like that, it's... like garbage, it's— it's horrible. Lisbon: People say she changed after your father died. Clara: She... she sort of lost control. And my father was... the one that kept it all going. And she just... she wasn't that person. Lisbon: Could you give us an example? Clara: When I was in college... my brother called to tell me that people were ripping us off. And Mom would invest in one bad scheme after another, and I tried to warn her, but she just wouldn't listen. Jane: I'm sure she thought she was doing the right thing. Is that when your brother started acting out? Clara: He missed dad a lot, and suddenly... he was the man of the house, and I think he just wasn't used to it. That's when Jeremy moved in, and he's scary. He's very dangerous. Lisbon: Dangerous how? Clara: He wants what he wants, and he has a very bad temper. I was worried for my mom. Lisbon: Clara, where do you think Travis is? Clara: If I knew, I would be with him. I mean, he's my brother. He's... he's all I've got left. Jane: Could you put his number in there, please? Clara: Well, he's not gonna call you back. Jane: Eh, just put it in. [She puts it] Thank you. Jane gets up, moves away and takes his phone. Jane: Hello, Travis. You don't know me, but my name is Patrick Jane. I'm a friend. I know you're in a little trouble right now, and I want to offer you some peace of mind. But I don't know what peace of mind means to you. It's different for everyone. For instance, I like riding horses. But would horses make you happy? I don't know. Why wouldn't horses make you happy? Go round and round in your mind until you're sure, and go to that place where you know you are happy. Then give me a call. You have my number. He hangs up. Rigsby, who heard him, looks at him with astonishment. Rigsby: What was that about? Jane: Quick. What images came into your head? Jane, Cho and Rigsby go to an amusement park, near a carousel. Rigsby: All I'm saying, you can't say there's no such thing as psychics just 'cause you've never met one. Cho: You're right. I've never seen a zebra. Doesn't mean they don't exist. Rigsby: You've never seen a zebra? Cho: No. Rigsby: You've never been to a zoo? Cho: You know, I don't get zoos. You pay money to look at animals. Why? [He sees Travis] Guys. Travis arrives. Jane: That's him. Cho: Jane, I'll never doubt you again. Jane: You ever doubted me? Travis goes on the carousel, Rigsby, Cho and Jane follow him. He sits and notices that he's surrounded. He gets up and wants to run away. Jane: Travis, wait. Just wait. CBI, interrogation room Lisbon: Travis, we know why you took off. We know about your fight with Jeremy. Why didn't you call somebody? Why just run? Travis: 'cause there wasn't anything they could do. I didn't want to cause any more trouble. Lisbon: Cause any trouble for who? They're your family. Travis: You really don't understand. Look, I loved my mom... so much. But after the blowout with Jeremy, I couldn't go back there. There was no way. Clara and Jane look the scene Clara: When can I see him? Jane: Oh, soon. Lisbon: So where'd you go? Travis: Friends' houses mostly. Cho: We'll need names and addresses. Travis: You know, maybe if I'd been home that night, she'd still be alive. I... Maybe— Lisbon: Here's the truth, Travis. After your dad died, your mom gave away a lot of your money. Then she moved Jeremy into the house and made your life miserable. Cho: So even though you took off, you knew where she'd be that night. You knew how she'd walk home. Travis: Are you saying I did that? When my dad died, Mom was all I had. You don't think I wanted to be there for her? That dirtbag Jeremy moves in, he starts telling me what to do and bossing me around. She was my mom. I didn't kll her. Jane: I believe him. Come here. They come in the interrogation room. Clara hugs her brother. Clara: We'll be all right. We'll be fine. CBI, workspace Van Pelt: Travis is hurting. Lisbon: Or he's lying. Let's not forget, Jeremy Hale stood to inherit a few million himself. So maybe he wanted to speed up the process... finance a nice long photo sh*t in South America, lay low for a while? Rigsby: I heard from Rosemary's probate lawyer. Guess who she just added to her will. Jane: Uh, Kristina Frye? Rigsby: Ink wasn't even dry yet. Van Pelt: Kristina told us she knew in advance that Rosemary was in danger. Why would she tell us that if she's guilty? Jane: How diabolically clever of her... make us dismiss her as a suspect because she made herself look like one. Van Pelt: Or maybe, just maybe, she has a rare and precious gift and is trying to help us. Jane: A rare and precious gift. Tell me... Who gets these gifts anyhow? And how come no one ever has the gift for seeing horse race results? And how come dad people always talk such tedious drivel? Lisbon: Play nice. Van Pelt's entitled to her opinion. Jane: Not if it's wrong. This is like believing in the Easter Bunny. Rigsby: Who says there's no Easter Bunny? They smile. The phone rings and Van Pelt picks up. Van Pelt: Van pelt. Oh, hi. Wow. Thanks. Got it. We'll be right over. [To the team] That was Kristina. She said she's picking up on something. Jane: Um. Van Pelt: Something that might help us. Lisbon: Why don't you go talk to her? Jane: I'm coming. Van Pelt: Does he have to? Lisbon: If she's conning us, we need to know. Van Pelt: She isn't. I can tell. Lisbon: Behave. Kristina's house Van Pelt knocks and the door opens. Van Pelt: Miss Frye? Kristina's voice: Be right there. Take a seat, please. Jane: Madame zoltar welcomes you. He sniffs. Jane: Mm. I smell dad people. Van Pelt: Jane, shh. Jane: Look, you can do all your holiday shopping right here. Van Pelt: Aren't you the least bit interested in what she has to say? Jane: No. I love the mirror. Conveniently located. Van Pelt: What do you mean? Jane: It's one-way glass— textbook clairvoyant trick. She studies her client's body language before they come in. He makes a sign at the mirror. Jane [whispering]: Come on. She's probably watching us right now. Van Pelt [whispering]: You can't go in there. Jane: Sure, I can. Van Pelt: Jane. [She follows him. He touches the wall and sees that there's nothing] See? No one-way glass. Jane: Oh, maybe in this instance, But not as a general observation. Kristina arrives and surprises them. Kristina: Shall we sit down? Jane: Sure. [They sit down] You know what I'm struggling with? Kristina: Enlighten me. Jane: You talk such a good high-class game, but your temple looks like a discount souvenir store in Shangri-La. Kristina: Well, certain imagery goes with the territory. You know that. People expect a little razzmatazz, like the shiny suits you used to wear. Flashback Jane: He says... "I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you and your mother." There're tears of joy. End flashback Jane: So you have done some research on me. Kristina: I have now. Red john mrder your family. I'm very sorry for your loss. Is that why you gave up your calling? Jane: Calling? Is that what this is? Kristina: Yeah, calling, gift, as you like. There's no doubt that you had that. Why'd you give it up? Jane: It was the suits. Chafing. Horrible. Kristina: Always dancing. Why is that? Jane: Don't try to cold read me. Kristina: Oh, I wouldn't know how. Jane: We both know that's a lie. Van Pelt: Can we, um, talk about the case? Jane: Yes. Kristina: Yes. Jane: So has Rosemary contacted you yet? Kristina: No, not yet. It often takes some time for souls to make a full transit. Jane: Yes, the celestial bus is running late. Kristina: I called to offer you my assistance. Clearly you're not interested. Van Pelt: Wait. I'm the agent here. We are interested. Kristina: I had a vision about the car used to kll Rosemary. Water rushing into the windows, tires underwater, resting on concrete. Van Pelt: Concrete? Like a swimming pool? Kristina: Um, bigger. Van Pelt: A reservoir maybe. There's Founders Lake just outside of town. Kristina: Yes, a reservoir. Later, to the reservoir. Men are towing the car. A man gives Cho a sheet of paper. Cho: Thanks. [To Lisbon] The damage to the front end is consistent with a vehicle versus pedestrian collision. But get this— the V.I.N. number matches Rosemary Tennant's own registration. Lisbon: That's her car? Cho: Yeah, two moving violations show that Travis used the vehicle all the time. Van Pelt: It could have been Jeremy. He had access to it as well. Lisbon: Uh, put one of them in the car that night— traffic cameras, witnesses at gas stations. If it exists, I want to know. Van Pelt: I'm on it. Francis: Are you guys gonna arrest Travis Tennant or, uh, you want us to? Lisbon: I'm sorry, detective, but everything we have right now is circumstantial. Francis: Well, I go with my gut, uh, 90% of the time. If it feels right, it's meant to be. Lisbon: What about the other 10%? Jane: If anyone needs arresting, it's Kristina Frye. She knew that Rosemary was in danger. She knew where to find the car, the mrder wapon, which means that she either does have supernatural powers or she was involved in the crime. Lisbon: Come on. She simply did what you do so well. With an air of confidence, she made an educated guess. Where else would you dump a car around here? She's a good guesser. Jane: Well, I guess that's a possibility, too. Lisbon: Yes, and that's what you object to, isn't it? Not that she's a con artist but that she's so good at it. Maybe even better than you. Jane: Not at all. I... All right, yes. Not better than me, mind you, but she is good, and it's the good ones that are the most dangerous. Van Pelt: Excuse me, but you might consider the possibility that she's actually honestly in touch with something beyond your understanding. Jane: That would be golf and musical theater of the '30s and '40s. Cho: The car is empty except for these in the trunk. Lisbon: High-grade coated nylon. Jane: Just like they use in a photo lab. Rosemary's house Clara: Jeremy's gone. We had an exchange, and I told him not to come back and some of Mom's jewelry is missing. Travis: You really think he did it? Cho: Someone stole your mom's car and used it to kll her. But the locks weren't jimmied. They had a key. Travis: And you think I did it. Look, I already told you were I was. Go out, talk to my friends. Lisbon: We did. They said there were a lot of people at the party that night. You could have left and come back. Travis: This is so unfair. How... Clara: My brother's right. Jeremy just left. Clearly he's hiding something. Jane: Lisbon. Lisbon: Stay here. They go upstairs. Lisbon: [on the phone] Rigsby, it's me. I need an a PB on Jeremy Hale. Check the airports. He's probably got at least two hours on us. Jane: He hasn't gone that far. He's not on a plane. Lisbon: [she hangs up] How do you know? Jane: He left too much behind. Room full of photographs, five are of Rosemary. The rest are dated at least a year ago. Except... this one. This was taken a few weeks ago. Brand-new. A little damaged, but somewhat intimate. A woman's heel would make a hole like that, wouldn't it? Lisbon: Yeah. Jane: Being Rosemary's house, we can assume it's Rosemary's heel. Lisbon: I'm still with you Jane: Why would Rosemary want to put her heel in this nice young woman's picture, that was taken by her womanizing boyfriend Jeremy? Lisbon gets it and smiles. They go down. Jane shows the picture to Travis and Clara. Jane: Know her? Travis: Yeah. That's, um, Connie Adams, my mom's bridge partner's daughter, Connie. Van Pelt and Rigsby knock at Connie's door. Van Pelt: Connie? Connie: Can I help you? Van Pelt: Nice necklace. Police. We're looking for Jeremy Hale. Is he here? Connie: Baby? Jeremy comes shirtless with whipped cream in his hand. Rigsby: Hi, Jeremy. Jeremy: Hey. Van Pelt: Let's go talk. You might want some clothes. Rigsby: Or a lot more whipped cream. Your call. CBI, interrogation room Lisbon: Rosemary was klled by somebody driving one of her own cars. Jeremy: Okay. Cho: A silver Chrysler. You ever drive this car, Jeremy? Jeremy: No. That's the car that Travis drove. Not my style. Lisbon: Thing is, we found a glove in the car that's from your photo lab. What are the chances we find your DNA on it? Jeremy: Well, Travis could have taken those. Cho: Travis has an alibi. You could have taken the car in order to throw suspicion on him. Jeremy: I could have, I suppose, but I didn't. Lisbon: You left the Tennant house fast, almost like you were running away. Why is that? Jeremy: I got into it with the kids. That clara is insane. I thought she was gonna asault me. Cho: They think you klled their mother. Jeremy: Well, they don't know anything about me. I loved her. Lisbon: Of course you did. That's why you gave Rosemary's necklace to your hot new girlfriend. Jeremy: Well, it's no good to Rosemary, is it? So sht me. I'm a pragmatist. Lisbon: That's a good word. Miami, New York, Chicago... All widows, and all contributors to your budding career. Jeremy: And all alive and well and still good friends of mine, if you care to speak to any of them. Well, phoebe might be a little ambivalent about me, but... the others are, you know... Lisbon: Do you know Kristina Frye? Jeremy: Uh... That name is familiar, but no. I don't think so. Lisbon: She's Rosemary's psychic, and I think you have met Kristina. You took her photograph. Cho: Jane tells us one of your portraits is hanging in her foyer. Well,I— I take a lot of pictures. Lisbon: Two beneficiaries on the same will, both intimate friends of Rosemary's, yet the two of you have never actually met. What are the chances? Jeremy: I want a lawyer. CBI, workspace Rigsby: Hey, boss, check this out. Info on Kristina Frye. In the last ten years, each of these people left her name in their wills, paydays ranging from $10,000 to $200,000. Lisbon: Maybe the psychic and Jeremy had a business relationship. Fleecing vulnerable women. Rigsby: So maybe Jane was right. Van Pelt: It doesn't prove anything. Lisbon: But it's a good place to start a conversation with Frye. Kristina's house Cho: Kristina, how well do you know Jeremy Hale? Kristina: He was Rosemary's lover. Uh, kind of a user, I'd say, but genuinely fond of her, I think. Quite a good photographer. He took my picture. Jane: Did you know he was also named in the victim's will? Kristina: If that was Rosemary's decision, fine. But what are you getting at? Cho: Over the last decade, five different people have named you in their wills. Kristina: Against my express wishes. I've helped hundreds of sick clients confront their fear of dying, and I assure all of them that I will try and speak to them after they're gone, but I have never asked any of them for anything ever. Cho: Then why did Jeremy get nervous when your name was mentioned? Kristina: Probably because we had sex on a couple of occasions. We had fun. He's a good time. Jane: Have you spoken to Rosemary yet? Kristina: Yes, I have. Jane: Oh, you did? What did she say? Kristina: She seems quite taken with you. Jane: Ah. Kristina: She said you were a good man... A deeply misguided and damaged man, but good. Jane: Well, that's very flattering. Did she happen to mention who klled her? Kristina: No. She didn't know. But she wants me to keep trying to help you as much as I can. Jane: Well, not that you mention it, I'd love to hear your CD recordings of your sessions together. Kristina: Absolutely. Jane: And, uh, can you have Rosemary appear at the reading of the will? Kristina: She's a departed soul, not a wedding singer. You can't book her in advance. Jane: Ah, yeah. I guess, uh, time doesn't mean much when you're dad forever. Kristina: No schedule to keep. Jane: What's the rush? Kristina: Right. Jane: Hum. She leaves. Jane and Cho smile. Jane goes to Rosemary's house. Travis is playing lacrosse in the garden. Jane: Nice cradling. Travis: You play lacrosse? Jane: No. Fast-moving sticks scare me. Travis: Find out who did it yet? Jane: Not yet. Clara goes out of the house. Clara: Hi. Jane: Hi. Clara: Find anything? Jane: I think Kristina Frye is responsible for your mother's death. I need you to ask her to conduct a sance to contact your mom at the reading of the will. Clara: I don't understand. How is getting in touch with my mom gonna help you catch Kristina? Jane: Well, obviously, she's not really gonna get in touch with your mom. She's a fraud. I'm going to expose her. Clara: How do you know she won't really pull it off? Jane: Well, she won't, because she can't. CBI, in the kitchen Van Pelt and Rigsby are both looking at the microwave. Van Pelt: I don't like it. Rigsby: Me neither. What's the alternative? Van Pelt: It's immoral. Rigsby: I don't know about that. Say your brain gets cooked if you use 'em a lot. Make you infertile, too. Van Pelt: What are you talking about? Rigsby: Microwaves. What are you talking about? Van Pelt: The sance this evening. Rigsby: We were looking at the microwave. The sance has nothing to do with anything. Van Pelt: It's wrong to play with that stuff— raising the dad Jane: Uh, we're not actually going to be doing that— raising dad people. Van Pelt: You say that, but you don't know. You're mocking the occult. You don't have any belief in the afterlife. You don't know what you're getting into. Jane: Well, I know that sances are tools that con artists like Kristina use to manipulate people. Rigsby: Boo! Van Pelt jumps and Rigsby and Jane start laughing. Van Pelt: Yeah, laugh. Go ahead. It's really important to you that Kristina's a fake, isn't it? Because if she's not - if she does have a gift - everything you mock, everything you discredit, everything you stand for gets turned upside down. Jane: Um... Yeah. True. Unlikely, but true. Van Pelt: And what if your family's looking down at you tonight from the sance, trying to talk to you, but they can't because you won't believe? Jane: Well, that would be very sad. Van Pelt: I'm sorry. Jane: No, that's ok. She leaves. Rigsby takes his food and leaves too. Jane is thinking. Kristina's house, there's a lot of people who came for the sance. Estate lawyer: Really, it's quite irregular. Clara: It's what my mother wanted. Estate lawyer: Very well. If you can all please sit down? [everyone sits down] At the request of Rosemary and her daughter Clara, the reading of the will shall be prefaced with a... What do you call it? Kristina: A contact ritual— sance, some call it. Estate lawyer: A sance. Kristina: Good evening, everybody, and welcome. With your help tonight, I'm gonna try and contact Rosemary. Will you all please hold hands with your neighbor on either side? [To the estate lawyer] Everybody. Good. Thank you. [Lisbon takes Van Pelt's hand with her best "what's the f..." look] Thank you. [To Jane] Would you please turn the lights down? [He does it with a smile][Kristina closes her eyes] The veil will be drawn back and Rosemary will come to us, as long as we believe. [She opens her eyes] As long as we believe. Everybody concentrate on the candle in the center of the table. Look at it and concentrate on Rosemary. Come to us, Rosemary. Come to us. Speak. The candle suddenly flickers. Rosemary's voice: Kristina? Kristina? Kristina: It's me, Rosemary. I'm here, as I promised you I would be. All your friends and family are here, too, Rosemary. Is there anything that you'd like to say? Or ask? Rosemary? Rosemary's voice: Clara? Clara? Clara: Mom? Rosemary's voice: Why Clara? Why did you do it? Clara leaves hastily and goes upstairs. Jane follows her. Jane: I know what you're doing, and it's not gonna work. Clara: What do you mean? Jane: This is all a scheme that you and Kristina cooked up, isn't it? Well, it's very effective, but I'm not buying it. I'm not gonna buy it. I'm not buying it. I can't. [He's hiding his phone behind his back and he's sending something] I can't. Clara: No. No, I... It's... I'm... Rigsby and Cho are in a van, listening to what she's saying. Rigsby looks at his phone. Rigsby: Next cue's up. Clara's voice: This isn't happening. Cho: Got it. Cho types on his computer. Rosemary's voice: Why Clara? Why? Clara [crying]: Who's doing this? I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry. Jane: Was it you, Clara? Were you in the car? Is that why she's here? Is that what's caused all this? Clara: Yes. Yes. CBI, interrogation room Clara: I got mad. I just got mad. Lisbon: Why? Clara: She told me... that she was gonna change the will again to disinherit Travis. She said that it was for his own good. And she wouldn't listen to me. We said some harsh things to each other. So I rode the train down from clear lake to speak to her in person, make her... see things rationally. I knew she was going to see her damn psychic. And... I didn't want to run into that creep Jeremy. So I went to the house to go pick up one of the cars to meet her. Flashback Clara's voice: I saw her after she left Kristina's, and I called her so that she wouldn't be freaked out that I would turn up in the middle of the night, and she didn't pick up the phone... End of the flashback Clara: ...for her own daughter, and... I just got mad. Flashback Clara is knocking Rosemary down. End of the flashback Lisbon: Thank you for your honesty, Clara. Clara: How did you know that it was me? Jane: Uh, well, uh... It didn't occur to me until later when you started trying to pin the blame on Jeremy. But when you first came in here, you expressed great horror that your mother had died in the gutter— not in the road, not in the sidewalk, but the gutter. Flashback Clara: For her to die in the gutter like that, it's... like garbage, it's—it's horrible. End of the flashack Jane: And how could you have known that she died in the gutter unless... You'd been there? Clara: I did it for Travis. Lisbon: And for yourself. Clara: She said that she would protect us! She promised my dad that she would. Parents are supposed to protect their kids. Lisbon: Yes, they are. Clara: Can I see my brother now? Jane: Sure. CBI, workspace Travis: I know you weren't thinking right... when you did what you did. Clara: Be good to Aunt Jo, and don't— don't leave your clothes everywhere, and... be respectful, okay? Travis: I will. I love you. Clara: I love you, too. They hug. Clara leaves with the police. Travis shakes Cho's hand. Travis: Thank you for letting me talk to her. Cho: You bet. They leave. Kristina arrives while Jane is lying on his sofa. Kristina: You sleep here? Jane: Yes, sometimes. Uh, the noise relaxes me, you know. It's like the sea. Can I help you? Kristina: Yeah, I just came to pick up my recordings. Jane: Help yourself. Kristina: Thanks. I need to talk to you. Jane: fre away. Kristina: In private. Jane: This is private. Kristina: More private. Jane: Okay. He gets up and they go in an interrogation room. Jane: So... Kristina: Promise me you won't interrupt. Hear me out. Jane: Okay, I promise. Kristina: I talked to your wife. Jane: Oh, hang on, this is— Kristina: No, nuh-uh. Ever since your wife and daughter were k*lled, there's a question about that night's events that's been tormenting you, yes? Yes? Jane: Yes. Kristina: Your wife wants me to tell you that your daughter never woke up. She didn't know what happened. She wasn't scared, not even for a second. Jane: You're done channeling? That's it? Kristina: That's it. Jane: Thanks. Kristina: Good bye, Mr. Jane. Kristina leaves. Jane stays there, he starts to cry. Van Pelt sees him and shuts the door that Kristina left open. THE END	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x07 - Seeing Red"}	foreverdreaming
Mentalist: Someone who uses mental acuity, hypnosis and/or suggestion. A master manipulator of thoughts and behavior. CBI Jane: Are you ready? Feeling awake, mentlly alert? Lisbon: Yes. Jane: Fantastic. Okay. I want you to imagine a screen between you and I On that screen I want you to project a basic shape like a square, but not a square. Got it? Lisbon: Okay. Jane: Lock it in. Now I want you to project another shape and put that shape around the shape you already have. Lisbon: Okay. Jane: Excellent. Here's the fun part. Now concentrate and project that onto the back of my mind. Look right here. Open up your mind and send it to me. Okay, now I'm starting to feel it. It's a triangle inside a circle. Lisbon: No. Jane: It's not? Lisbon: No. I was thinking of an octagon inside a rectangle. Jane: Liar. Lisbon: All right. All right, you got me. Van Pelt: Hmm, pretty good, huh? He got me and Rigsby the same way. Lisbon: How did you do that? Jane: Oh, that's nothing. That's just a calibration key to real mind reading. Now I have access to all your innermost thoughts. Lisbon: Yeah, right. Jane: I'm serious. Lisbon: Okay. So what am I thinking right now? Jane: You're thinking, "I'm so glad Jane is joking around and he can't actually read my mind." Lisbon: No. Well— well, actually, yes, but—but not for the reason you think. Jane: What reason do I think? Lisbon: Never you mind. Rigsby: You're blushing. Jane: You are blushing. Cho: Hey, we're up. Suspected arson/mrder on a farm in Marquesa. The county d.A.'s asking if we'll check it out. Lisbon: Let's go. Cho: All right. Marquesa Lisbon: Chief Piller, why the fre truck? Shouldn't they be gone by now? Chief Piller: Well, took forever to put the fre out. There wasn't enough water pressure to fill the hoses on account of the drought. Rich Garcia used to have the best corn in the county. Now look at it. Anyway, this is where we found him— What was left of him There's hardly anything left for Susan and Madeleine to bury. Jane: Tough to bury a comrade, I think.Probably saved your life more than once. Vice versa? Chief Piller: How did you know we served together? Jane: You've been crying. You don't strike me as the kind of man that would cry for no reason. And that's a national guard signet ring you're wearing, isn't it? Chief Piller: Yeah, we were in the 3-192 armor. We did two tours in anbar together. So you must be the arson specialist. Jane: Uh, no. The arson specialist— Lisbon: That would be agent Rigsby. Mr. Jane is a consultant. Chief Piller: Mm. So you—you'll be able to tell, then, definitively, whether the fre was, uh, arson or accident or whatever? Rigsby: Two years with the San Diego county arson squad, chief. I'll be able to tell. Chief piller, you and your men haven't contaminated the scene, correct? Chief Piller: My men? Uh, it's just me and Terry O'brien, agent. But yeah, we did like you said. After we hauled Rich out, we haven't set foot in. Rigsby: So to determine if it's arson, I'm gonna need to analyze the burn path, find the point of origin,check for signs of an accelerant. It's arson, all right... And mrder. Van Pelt: How can you tell? Rigsby: This is part of the garage door. Van Pelt: Yes? Rigsby: The lock's on the outside. Someone locked Garcia in, lit the place up. Your friend was mrder. I'm sorry. Cho: Don't they usually like to watch their work—arsonists? Rigsby: Yeah, even more so when it's coupled with mrder. Lisbon: Maybe this guy's different. What do you think... Jane?Jane? Jane? Van Pelt: Patrick Jane? Jane: Over here! He watched from up here. He was here. Lisbon: What does it look like? Rigsby: It's sophisticated work. Electronic timers, mercury switches. Need the lab on it to be sure, but looks like they used a distinctive accelerant—rocket fuel, something like that so we have a pro at work, Cho: Or a very gifted amateur. Great Lisbon: And get a cast of the tire tracks down the road. You guys go into town and talk to the guy Garcia was going to meet that night—chief, what's his name? Chief Piller: Mitchell reese. He works the gas station on Main Street. Rigsby: Mitchell Reese. On our way Lisbon: Let's you and me go in and talk to the widow. Jane? [INT] Chief Piller: These folks are from The California Bureau of Investigation. They're gonna help find who did this to Rich. Susan: Hi. Nice to meet you. Thank you for coming. I, uh... Are you hungry? There's more than enough. Jane: Oh, I-I could do with a bite. Lisbon: No, but thank you, Mrs. Garcia. Jane: Guess not. Ben: I, uh, put in some K.P. With the dishes, and brought in the firewood, so you're all set. Susan: Thank you. Ben: You need anything? Susan: No, Ben, I'm good. Thank you so much. These are the state police people. Ben: Oh, hey. Ben Machado. Anything you need, just say the word. You got it. Chief Piller: Ben's our, uh, go-to guy in Marquesa. Ben: He just means I'm the only real estate agent around here who takes his commission in fertilizer and chickens. Jane: You were in the 192 as well? Ben: That's right. Jane: You have that military bearing. Chief Piller: Rich and Ben and me and a couple other guys ran a platoon together. Ben: Yeah. You guys are gonna catch the bastard who did this a-sap, right? Lisbon: We're certainly gonna try. Ben: I guess that'll have to do. I'll see you in the morning? Chief Piller: I should go, too. Lisbon: Ma'am, mind if we ask you some questions? Susan: No, of course not. Please. Jane: You must be madeleine. Maddy. Maddy: Whatever you're selling—pass. Funny. What are you, a moron? My dad just died. Jane: Yes. My condolences It happens. You'll learn to live with it. Not for, uh, a while, but in the end, you will. Maddy: Who are you? Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm the man that will find outwho it was that klled your father and have him or her-or them— put in a prison cell. If you'll talk to me. Maddy: If I'll talk to you? Like I know who did it. Jane: Well, you could help me find out. Maddy: Yeah? Jane Your dad was in the National Guard for a long time. How come there's no pictures of him with his buddies? Maddy: He used to have all his military crap in a glass case on the photo wall— You know, medals and pictures and stuff. But he took it down. Jane: Why is that? Maddy: How should I know? He didn't like talking aboutwhat he did over there— not to me, anyway. Jane: Who did he talk to, your mom? Maddy: No. Jane: What do you mean by, " no"? Maddy: Nothing. I mean, he doesn't like talking about that stuff. Jane: Why are you so angry at your mom? Maddy: I'm... I'm not. Jane: If you weren't angry, you'd be with her right now. She needs you. Her husband just died. Maddy: Oh, I'm sure she'll learn to live with it. Susan: I was watching TV. Maddy was in her room. Richard called to say he was leaving Mitch's, He'd be home soon. He was doing stuff for the avocado parade. And then next thing, I heard a strange noise, and I saw a light out that window. It was the garage burning, and Rich inside it... Screaming. That's what the noise was— Rich screaming, trying to get out of the garage. Tommy: Hello, Mrs. Garcia. Um, I brought corn chips— uh, cool ranch. Susan: Thank you, sweetie. Um, would you like some food? Tommy: Oh, could I have some chicken? Susan: Of course, anything you want. Help yourself Um, Tommy does odd jobs around town. Challenged, but ever so independent, bless him. Maddy: "challenged"? He's retrd, mom. Why can't you ever tell the truth about anything? Everything's a lie! Susan: Sorry. You know teenagers. Jane: You know why she's so angry? She suspects that your lover is responsible for the klling of her father. Susan: My lover? How dare you? Jane: The policeman. Lisbon: Chief Piller? Jane: Him. Susan: Maddy suspects no such thing. Jane: Well, that wasn't very convincing. You want to try that again with a little more feeling? Susan: You just cannot come in her and make wild accusations like this. Jane: You never looked him in the eye once. He kept trying to take your hand. You wouldn't let him. The air was practically buzzing with furtive shame and yearning, which tells me that you were lovers and suggests two possibilities— You and Piller klled your husband together, and now you're remorseful... Susan: No. Jane: No. I believe you. You'd have found a more humane method of klling him. Second possibility-you have a horrible feeling that maybe Piller did this thing to clear the field for himself. Susan: No. Trey would never. They were best friends. Jane: A best friend that has an affair with his "best friend's" wife? Lisbon: Susan... We'll find out the truth. Susan: When Rich came back from the wr... He closed me out. He went somewhere else. He wasn't my husband anymore. Lisbon: Did you have an affair with Trey Piller? Susan: Yes. But Trey would never hurt Rich. I know that. Jane: Well, you hope. Rigsby: Come on, help us out, Mr. Reese. You might have been the last person to see Rich Garcia alive. Mitchell: How about that Van Pelt: What's the problem? Electrics sht, I bet.Always the same with the early '70s models, huh? Mitchell: Yeah. I gotta get the old pig runnin' smooth for the parade. That's what Rich and I were talking about the night he died. Van Pelt: Did you notice anyone else around, anyone waiting nearby for him? What time did he leave? Mitchell: It was kind of late. Around 10:00, maybe. Are you thinkin' this is mrder? Someone cooked him deliberate? Rigsby: Yes, looks like. Mitchell: That's weird. Rigsby: Why weird? Mitchell: Another man klled by arson in the same town from the same guard unit? That's weird. Rigsby: Hang on. Another man? Mitchell: Didn't Chief Piller tell you? Three years ago. A guy called David Martin. Burnt to a crisp. Rigsby: And he was with the 192nd as well? Mitchell: Yep. That's what I heard, anyhow. It was before my time. Only been in town a year. David mArtin lived up at Alton's Grove. Surprised Chief Piller didn't mention him. Van Pelt [phone]: Van Pelt. Ben: This is Trey Piller's house. Rigsby: fre department's on its way, boss. Lisbon: Is Chief Piller still inside? Ben: I don't know. Chief Piller: Help! Cho: Stop! Rigsby, wait! Idiot! Van Pelt: Rigsby! Oh, my god! Don't move. Don't move.Don't move. Don't move. You'll be all right. You're gonna be okay. I'm just gonna lift your arm, okay? The doctor said we have to change the dressing pretty often at first. Rigsby: How's Chief Piller? The burn unit in Sacramento says it's touch and go. Lisbon: Here. It's that mango crap you like. Jane: How are you feeling? Rigsby: Took some kick-ass painkillers, man I guess this lets Piller out as a suspect, huh? Lisbon: Yeah, especially since the doctors at the burn unit found date rpe drugs in his system. He told them that he woke up with smoke and fre all around him. Jane: Interesting new level of cruelty— Dosing someone so they wake up just in time to burn alive. Cho: Hey, it's the mummy. So the fre at Piller's house— Same m.O. As the one that klled Rich Garcia. Accelerant's ethylether. That's a signature. Tricky stuff to work with, too. Takes skill, finesse. Lisbon: Why don't you go and see what Susan Garcia has to say about all this? And let's you and me check out this Alton's Grove place where David Martin died. Rigsby: Oh, "the mummy." I get it. Bandages. Lisbon: And no more painkillers for him. Cho: Why didn't you tell us about Dave Martin? Susan: What about him? Cho: Same national guard unit, same death by fre. That's a pretty spooky coincidence. Susan: But Dave's death was an accident, and nearly three years ago, besides. Cho: An accident? Susan: Passed out with a cigarette, poor fool. brned his place right down to a cinder. There wasn't a thing left of him. We had to bury ashes. Cho: Are there any, um... Are there any other connections between this Dave Martin and your husband? Susan: Dave was kind of in business with them— With Rich and Trey and Ben. Cho: What kind of business? Susan: Mar Verde real estate corporation, they called it. It started out as just a way to get Dave Martin a place to live. "no man left behind" and all, even Dave. Cho: He had problems? Susan: He was an ornery drunk, basically. Didn't get along with anyone but his guard buddies. They got together andbought a 5-acre piece of land from the town up at Alton's Grove. Cho: And after he died, what happened to the land? Susan: Oh, it took forever to get the land back into their names. Legal silliness. I told Rich, "don't waste your time. Land's worth nothing anyhow." Tommy Odds lives up there now, kind of a caretaker. Cho: And as of now, Ben Machado's the only partner still standing. Susan: I guess that's right.Alton Grove. Lisbon [phone] Interesting. Give me a call after you speak to Machado. Jane: We have an audience. Hey, Tommy. Remember Teresa Lisbon? Tommy: Um, come in. Lisbon: So , Tommy... We are here because... Mrs. Garcia told my colleague that you look after this place for the owners? Tommy: I keep an eye out. That's what Mr. Garcia said— "keep an eye out, Tommy." Lisbon: Is that David Martin? Tommy: Dave was nice. He didn't make fun of me, not one time. You don't smoke cigarettes, do you? Lisbon: No. Tommy: Oh, good. Dave did, and he got brned up on accident. Lisbon: Did you see it? Tommy: No, I was at the hospital, 'cause my appendix busted. You want to see my scar? Lisbon: No. No, but I'm sure Mr. Jane would love to. Jane? Jane? Lisbon: All this green in the middle of a drought? Jane: Not at Alton's Grove. Tommy: Do you like it? I got geraniums, too. Lisbon: It's very pretty. Tommy: But don't tell, okay? The—the company will make me move out. I won't have nowhere to live. Lisbon: It seems like it's coming from the ground. Jane: It's an aquifer-new source of groundwater Lisbon: Must be worth millions. Jane: Worth klling for. Motel Rigsby: "Van Pelt? Van Pelt: Yes? Rigsby: "Grace"... It's a lovely name. Graceful. I've been waiting to say something to you for ages now. I think now's a good time, 'cause I nearly died. I love you, Grace. I totally love you. Wh— You okay? Van Pelt: Yes. Rigsby: Why did you make that noise? Van Pelt: It's not that I don't like you. I do. It's just... We work together, And there are rules. And if we were to get together, one of us would have to leave the unit, and I'm junior agent, so that would be me. And this job is so importantto me, and I just... Cho: Hey. You want to go to work, or you want to play nurse for king tut? Van Pelt: Work. Definitely work. Van Pelt: Mr. Machado? Hello? Cho: Maybe he's around back. Let's check out the barn. Van Pelt: I guess we found Machado. Cho: Yeah. Mr. Machado! Ben Machado! Ben: Come any closer, and I'll sht you, and I will sht to kll! Cho: Mr. Machado, we're police! This is the police! Ben: Let me see a badge! Van Pelt: I'm showing the badge. Don't sht! Ben: Damn! Okay. Don't sht! Cho: Turn around. Ben: I didn't know you guys were cops. Cho: What, you thought we were selling magazine subscriptions? Cho: Hey, check this out— The accelerant used in the fires. Six jugs of it in the barn. CBI Rigsby: Ethyl ether. Burns at 600 degrees Fahrenheit. You know what temp human skin burns at? I was lucky. Second-degree burns mostly. Trey Piller's face, it just came off. Ben: Look, I don't know where that stuff came from. Someone's framing me. Cho: Somebody frame you for shting at us, Mr. Machado? 'cause from where I stood, sure looked like you. Ben: That was a misunderstanding. I didn't know who you guys were I was defending myself. Cho: Really? From whom? Ben: From someone trying to kll me, just like they klled Rich And tried to kll Trey. Cho: And why would you be next on someone's to-burn list Ben: Because we were all in business together. Cho: And with them gone, you're the sole proprieto of Alton's Grove-sole owner of all that water. Rigsby: Oh, yeah, Ben, we know about the aquifer- All that money right under your feet. But see, that's the perfect motive for you to burn up Piller and Garcia. You. Ben: I didn't do it, okay? Cho: Mm-hmm. So you're saying whoever did fry them is going to try to kll you. Now who is that again? Ben: I don't know. Cho: Ben, I gotta say, I'm skeptical. Why would anyone want to see you three dad? Who benefits from that? Jane: Do you want to know my guess? Ben: No. Jane: Dave Martin. Ben: Dave Martin is dad. Jane: Is he? Did you see his body, Ben, after the fre? Ben: No, but he's dad. Jane: You seem pretty sure about that, like you were there. Ben: What are you insinuating? Jane: Nothing. Nothing at all. I'm saying you three tried to kll him to get Alton's Grove for yourselves. Ben: That's a lie. Jane: Dave came to you all excited. He found a liquid fortune... On property that you bought for him—practically your land. Dave owed you. But he didn't even offer you a taste, did he? Ungrateful bastard. Ben: That's ridiculous. We had no idea what was there till recently. Jane: You and Rich and Trey wanted what Dave had, so you set fre to his house, and you left him there to die. Imagine-imagine the betrayal he felt, the helpless rage. Ben: That fre was a tragic accident and you have no proof otherwise. Jane: Well, someone out there doesn't need proof. Someone out there needs revenge— Someone very smart and very determined. That's why he's terrified and sh*ting at cops. Well, you should be terrified. I hope you burn like a candle, you miserable son of a bitch. Ben: You can't talk to me like that. I have rights. Jane: Yes, you do Well, let this creep go. We don't have anything on him. Lisbon: Two notes here-we already have plenty on him. One—armed asault on Cho and Van Pelt, and two, a barn full of fre accelerant as well. Jane: The asault was self-defense, and the accelerant was a plant. Only two? Lisbon: Actually, no. Where do you get offgiving orders in the first place? I say who goes and who stays, not you. Jane: Well, that's, uh, fiery but calm. Very good Why don't you try it with a more forceful hand gesture, like, "I say who goes and who stays, not you"? Lisbon: I'm serious. Jane: So am I. If he's in here, how is the kller gonna get to him? Lisbon: He could be the kller, and even if he's not, We don't want the kller to get him. Jane: Yes, we do. Machado is our bait. He's our tethered goat. Lisbon And too bad if the bait gets klled? Jane: Well, yes. That's why you use goats and not babies or virgins, for that matter. Lisbon: Machado's not a goat. Jane: Well, you're right. He's not actually a goat. He's goatish. He deserves to suffer a little. Lisbon: Nobody deserves mrder. Jane: Machado helped burn Dave Martin alive out of greed. Lisbon: Jane, we're officers of the law. Jane: You are. I don't care about the law. I care about justice, and justice says Machado deserves to suffer. Lisbon: That's not justice. It's vengeance Jane: What's the difference? Cho: What do you want us to do with Machado, boss? Lisbon: Let him go. Cho: Really? Like, let him go, let him go? Lisbon: Really, like that. Cho: Okay. Jane: Trying some reverse psychology? Lisbon: You talk tough. Maybe it's time you learn that there's consequences. If Machado gets hurt, it's on you. Jane: Fine with me. We've never discussed this, because I thought it went without saying, But when I catch Red John, I'm gonna cut him open and watch him die slowly, like he did with my wife and child. And if you have a problem with that, we should talk. Lisbon: Then let's talk, because when we catch Red John,we are gonna take him into custody, and he's gonna be tried in a court of law. Jane: Not if I'm still breathing. Lisbon: If you try and do volence to him, I will try and stop you. If you succeed in doing volence to him, I will arrest you. Jane: I understand. Lisbon: I hope so. Jane: Well, I'm glad we talked. I had no idea you were so bourgeois and conventional on the issue. Mm. Rigsby: You thinking what I'm thinking? Cho: No. Rigsby: How do you know you're not? Cho: I was thinking how I wish I could go back in time and have sex With my eighth grade history teacher miss Huffaker. Is that what you were thinking? Rigsby: No. I was thinking Mitch Reese, the gas station guy. Cho: Whatever lights your fre, man. Rigsby: As a suspect. Think about it. Who first told us about Dave Martin? Cho: Mitch Reese. Rigsby: Knew all about it, even though he'd only been here a year. Cho: So? Rigsby: So they never found Dave Martin's body, and now someone is taking revenge on the people that mrder. Cho: Mitch Reese is Dave Martin? Rigsby: The beard, the burn scars on his arms, his whole vibe. Cho: Huh. Wait, Dave Martin was bald. Wig. Rigsby: I would put money on it. Let's go talk to him. Cho: We gotta keep an eye on Machado. Rigsby: To protect Machado from the kller, and if Reese is our guy, that's what we're doing. Cho: Okay, but I'm calling it in. Rigsby: Mr. Reese, when exactly did you come to Marquesa? Mitch: 18 months ago, give or take. Cho: And what was it brought you here? Why Marquesa? Mitch: This place was for sale. Cho: No other reason? You didn't know anyone in town before you moved here? Mitch: Nope. Fresh start. Cho: How did you get those burn scars on your arms? Mitch: Engine blew up on me while I was working on it. Why do you ask? Cho: Just curious. Is that your own hair? Mitch: Excuse me? Cho: On your head. Is that yours, or are you wearing a wig? Mitch: No, it's my own hair. What kind of a question is that? Cho: Mind if we check? Mitch: Yes, I do—ow! Cho: Sorry, sir. Rigsby: Damn. Thanks for your time. Man: Hello, Ben. Aah! You're gonna need a firin' pin. You stay back or I will light you up. Ben: Who are you? What do you want? Man: You know who I am. Ben: I have no freakin' idea, man. Man: Sure you do, Ben. You tried to kll me. Ben: What? No. That's impossible. Man: No, it's not. It's me. Ben: Dave? Dave Martin? Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Man: No one can hear you, man. You're gonna die alone, screaming in agony, Like I did. Ben: This can't be happening. Help! Man: Why did you kll me, Ben? We were friends. You wanted money so bad? You should've told me. I would've helped you. Ben: I did tell you. All of us, we begged you, but you wouldn't listen, You selfish bastard! We didn't want to kll you! I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! Jane: See how much better that feels? I forgive you. Can't speak for Dave Martin, though. Ben: You son of a bitch. Jane: You don't want to make things worse for yourself. Rigsby! Cho! Ben: What? I klled an intruder in my barn. How was I to know it was a cop? If that's even what you are. What are you exactly? Jane: Rigsby! Cho! They're right outside. Ben: Oh, are they? Jane: Wait a second. One thing you're forgetting. Man: Machado! Ben Machado! Ben: That's not... Man: You ready to die? Ben: What the hell's going on? Jane: Oh, dear. Jane: Rigsby! Cho! Rigsby: Jane, you in there? Oh, crap. Jane! Jane! Jane! Are you ok? Jane: That was close. Where were you guys? Rigsby: We called in to check out a lead. Cho: Yeah, Lisbon didn't know you were about to pull an idiotic stunt. Sorry. Jane: No hard feelings. Whoa, whoa. Oh, arrest this man he confessed to klling Dave Martin. Cho: Cool. Jane: Got it all here. Cho: Turn around. Again. Jane: Yeah, yeah, you could... Yeah, I'll just... I'll just wait here. Rigsby: Freeze! Jane: That's good. Got him. CBI Tommy: Hello, sir. Cho: Tommy, what were you doing at the Machado house last night? Tommy: Sir, do you got any soda? Cho: What kind do you want? Tommy: My super favorite is root beer. Cho: Okay, I'll get you some in a minute. Tommy: Do you like root beer? Cho: No. Do you like to burn things, Tommy? Tommy: No. Cho: No? You sure about that? Tommy: Am I sure about what? Cho: What were you doing at the Machado house? Tommy: Watching the barn burn down. Cho: You liked watching it, huh? Gave you a nice feeling? Tommy: No, I was scared. I don't like fre. fre hurts. Do you have root beer? Lisbon: It doesn't make sense. All the evidence says it's him. There was ethyl ether traces all over him. But the arsonist usedan electronic timer and rocket fuel, and Tommy's wearing velcro sneakers. Call him challenged, retrd, whatever you want— There's no way he's capable of this. Rigsby: What if he had a partner? Lisbon: Maybe that's it. Somebody's manipulating him. Someone he trusts. Jane: Give me a moment with him. Do you mind? Cho: Sure thing. Don't make a mess. Jane: Cop humor. Not funny. I'm supposed to be finding out who put you up to this. You see, my friends think you're an idiot. Tommy: Everybody says that. Sometimes they're not nice. Jane: Yes. Being a fool gives you a sort of power, doesn't it? You're there, and you're not there. It's like having a wizard's cloak of invisibility. Tommy: I don't understand what you're saying, sir, but I like wizards. The—the other man said he'd get me a root beer, but he never did. Jane: Revenge is a hard road, isn't it? It's like when Captain Ahab was chasing Moby-Dick. The whale died all right, but the "peapod" went down, too. Tommy: "Pequod." Ahab's ship is the "Pequod." Jane: Exactly. The "Pequod." Silly of me. Here's your copy here. I must say, I'm impressed. I know english literature professors that haven't read "Moby-Dick." Tommy: I like whales. They eat squids. Jane: Looking back, I should have known it was you the first time I saw you. Only an idiot would wear a t-shirt like that to a house in mourning... An idiot or a daring kller with a warped sense of humor. You're going down for this one. You might as well go down as your real self. You have pulled off something amazing. You should be proud in a way. Tommy: That root beer coming? Jane: Why don't you just talk to me, Thomas? There's no point in hiding anymore. I can see you. Tommy: What do you want to know? Jane: Hello. Good to meet you. I am curious. Are there two of you, or is Tommy just an act that you put on? Tommy: Oh, please. I'm not a mental case. Tommy's an act... A-a performance. Jane: That you never turn off. Tommy: He amuses me. He protects me. When I was 18, I jacked a car and got caught. But when I pulled the Tommy act, the cops let me go. I've gotten much better since then, of course. Jane: Good enough to avenge Dave Martin's death. Tommy: Three months ago, the company finally got a permit to exploit the aquifer. All that money. I put things together, realized what they'd done to Dave. Thanks. Jane: I confess, I-I never really could get to the end of it. Ahab does die, doesn't he? Tommy: Yes. But so does the whale. Jane: That's my point. Revenge doesn't come cheap. Tommy: Oh, spare me your moralizing. I know what revenge costs. It's worth the price. David Martin had many flaws, no doubt. But he was my friend. My friend. Those animals, they deserve what they got. It was justice. Jane: You admit to klling Rich Garcia and trying to kll Trey Piller? Tommy: I watched them scream and writhe in agony... And it was beautiful. It was redemptive. You wouldn't understand. Jane: Agent Cho does the formal police charging stuff. We're done. Good luck, Thomas. Tommy: Would you do one thing for me? Jane: You can ask. Tommy: Would you tell Maddy Garcia... I'm sorry for hurting her? Maddy: Sorry? He's sorry? You tell him if he ever gets out of jail, I'm gonna set him on fre and see how he likes it. Susan: Maddy. Maddy: I am! Susan: Your father wasn't— Maddy: And don't you talk about him.You have no right! No right! Jane: Your father klled a man and Tommy klled him out of revenge. You know that. Revenge is a poison. Revenge is for fools and for madmen. Maddy: I don't care. Jane: Yes, you do. Hey, come here. Come on. We have to go, but, uh, could you do me a favor? Could you both do me a favor? Would you hug? Just pretend like you love each other. Please? That's it. Just like that. That's good. Now hold that pose until we leave. It'll help Lisbon and me feel like we've actually made a difference. Thank you. Lisbon: So? Jane: So? Lisbon: Seems like this whole thing changed your mind about vengeance. Jane: Huh? Lisbon: "Revenge is for fools and madmen." Jane: That was rather good, I thought. Total nonsense, but quite good nonetheless. Shall we?	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x09 - Flame Red"}	foreverdreaming
Mentalist: noun. Someone who uses mental acuity, hypnosis and/or suggestion. A master manipulator of thoughts and behavior. Leyland University, CA STUTZER INSTITUTE Stern: The human mind is a vast universe, an inner cosmos that we are only now beginning to explore. Our next speaker is one of the nation's leading cosmonauts, a rising star in the field of neuroscience, and a prized member of the Leyland faculty. I give you Alex Nelson. Alex: No, no, no. Thank you. No. Stop. CBI Rigsby [phone]: CBI. Rigsby. Jane, phone for you. Someone called Sophie Miller. Jane: T—uh, t-t-tell her I'm not here. Rigsby: Okay. I'm sorry, ma'am. He's not available right now. Jane: No, no, no, no. Wait. Wait Rigsby: I'll, uh, put you through. Jane: Dr. Miller? Yeah, this is Patrick. Hey. Uh, if someone is mrder on the campus of a state university, it's ours, isn't it? Lisbon: It can be if we muscle out the locals. Why'd you ask Jane: I need a favor. Police department Policeman: Sophie, Alex Nelson's water bottle contained a 10% solution of hydrogen cyanide. What do you know about that? Sophie: I know that hydrogen cyanide is a lethal poison beyond that, nothing at all. Please, call me "Miss Miller" or "Dr. Miller" or "Ma'am." Not Sophie, if you don't mind. Policeman: You're not setting the boundaries here. You were seen by several witnesses arguing with the victim shortly before his death. You fled the scene immediately after his death. Sophie: A cunning plan, eh? Policeman: Since your divorce from the victim two years ago, you've been arrested for asault him twice and made several death thrat against him. He obtained a restraining order against you. Sophie: And I obtained one against him also. Policeman: Well, that's all right then. It didn't bother you that Alex had remarried, that he found happiness with another woman? Sophie: Alex and I got past our personal history. We had to, for the sake of our work together. Policeman: Ah, yes. You worked together at the, uh, Stutzer institute, right? Which gave you ready access to the hydrogen cyanide. Sophie: You know, I had thought, being innocent, that I don't need a lawyer, but I can see that you have some animus against me, so I'll say nothing more until I have a lawyer present. Lisbon: What if we take this case, and it turns out she's guilty? Jane: She didn't do it. Lisbon: How do you know? Jane: Because she told me she didn't. She wouldn't lie to me. Lisbon: Why not? Jane: Because she wouldn't. Lisbon: Suppose she did. Jane: Well, if she is guilty, Then we need to catch her and punish her, but she's not. Lisbon: Jane, I know I said I wouldn't ask, but I'm asking. Who is this woman? What's the connection? Jane: You don't wanna know. Policeman: She'll talk, but she just needs time. Jane: To do what? Lisbon: I'm not saying she isn't a good forward. But we don't have enough solid evidence to support that right now. Policeman: I disagree. Lisbon: That's your right. But the CBI's lead agency on this. Policeman: Yes. Strange, though, that a department of justice unit like CBI is lead agency, 'cause Sophie Miller called The D.O.J. Switchboard this morning. You might almost think that she... Chose her own investigators. Lisbon: Leyland is a state university. We automatically offer our services when local agencies aren't equipped. If Sophie Miller called the D.O.J., it's a coincidence. Policeman # 2: Excuse me, sir. Policeman: What is it, Drobey? Policeman # 2: This was posted up all over Leyland campus during the night. Policeman: "the animal equality league has seen justice served. "the blood of innocent animals was on Nelson's hands, and he has paid the price for his crimes." Lisbon: Looks like there's more suspects now. CBI Lisbon: They want the animal testing at Leyland university science department to stop, or "the monster Stutzer will be next to pay for his genocidal crimes." Minelli: Who is Stutzer? Stern: Lewis Stutzer is one of the world's foremost neuroscientists and founder of the Stutzer institute at the university. Minelli: And, um, what is his connection to the victim, Alex Nelson? Stern: Alex Nelson and Sophie Miller are his colleagues, his seconds in command. Please understand that there's a great deal at stake here for the university. The Stutzer institute is our lynchpin. I came to see you in person to get your firm assurance that this will be handled properly, with speed and discretion and ironclad security for Dr. Stutzer. Minelli: Of course, chancellor Stern. You have my absolute assurance. I will have a squad of state marshals around Dr. Stutzer within the hour. Agent Lisbon and her team will handle the mrder investigation. They have the highest clearance rate in the state. Stern: Good. Thank you. Sir. Minelli: What are you, nuts? An animal rights case? Lisbon: You know what a nightmare they are? I know. I know. I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was an animal rights caseuntil too late. Minelli: And at putt, Stern is gonna be a pain in the ass.You better close this crap quick, Lisbon. Jane: Hey, thanks for not telling him I made you take the case. Lisbon? Hello? Lisbon: Tell me the truth. Jane: The truth? Darth Vader? Luke's father. Lisbon: Seriously, I've stuck my stupid neck out for you for the umpteenth time. I think I deserve the truth. Why is Sophie Miller so important to you? Jane: She was my doctor. Lisbon: She's a psychiatrist. Jane: Yes, she was my psychiatrist. Lisbon: But you hate psychiatrists, so you always say. Jane: She was a good psychiatrist. Lisbon: She must have been if she managed to keep you in the room. Jane: It was a locked room. Yeah, I went through a rough patch, I did a little time in a hospital, and Sophie helped me through that time. Lisbon: It's not on your record. Jane: No. Believe me. I... It s not easy to do. I... I know there's nothing shameful about having a breakdown, but I gotta confess, I am ashamed of it. Lisbon: Thank you for being so honest with me. Jane: Sorry I kept it from you. Van Pelt: Shall I come back later? Lisbon: No. Van Pelt: Rigsby started in on the campus security tapes. Nothing yet. I've been tracking this animal equality league. They're all over the internet. They believe in animal equality, so you know, they're not very happy. They've taken credit for several bmb attcks on slaughterhouses and animal testing facilities. Serious people. Cho: I interviewed the staff at the auditorium. There's no security to speak of. Anyone present at the symposium could have poisoned his water bottle. There are no prints on it but Nelson's. Nobody saw exactly where he got it from. The brand is the same all over campus. Kerry: I'm Kerry Sheehan, Dr. Stutzer's teaching assistant. He's ready to see you now. Jane: Did you know Alex Nelson well? Kerry: He was a very good man. He was, uh... He was a, um... Jane: Yes? He was? Kerry: He was a good, good man. Lisbon: Dr. Stutzer? Huh? We're with the CBI. Dr. Stutzer: Oh. Yeah. Yes, of course. Come in. And shut that door, please. Sit down. Terrible, terrible business. Alex was a first-rate researcher. Truly first-rate. I cannot tell you how much I am going to miss him. Lisbon: I'm sorry, Dr. Stutzer. We wanted to talk to you a little about the thrat— Dr. Stutzer: Couldn't have come at a worse time, of course it's going to set us back months, I'm afraid. Months. Jane: What is it you do here exactly, Dr. Stutzer? Dr. Stutzer: Our work here is highly sensitive. Lisbon: What you tell us regarding your work is completely confidential. All CBI agents sign a binding nondisclosure agreement. Dr. Stutzer: Very well. I will tell you what we're doing here. We're curing evil. Hmm. We're banishing the devil. We have identified a section of the brain that governs moral decision making. It's a small fold of tissue called the cingulate gyrus here in the medial part of the brain. This is the source of good and evil. We've learned how it works and how to readjust it when it does not work properly. We've created what we call a morality engine. Jane: A morality engine? Dr. Stutzer: You are skeptical. Nevertheless, it's true. We are plumbing the depths of the human soul. Do you know what's down there? Do you know what your soul is made of? Jane: Frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails? Dr. Stutzer: Ah. Humor. Good. Thank you, no. Your soul is electricity. The essence of your being is a series of rapid electrical impulses. Morality is a binary switch system in the brain, and we are learning how to control that switch system. Lisbon: Where do animals come into this? Dr. Stutzer: Well, we aren't allowed to poke around inside human heads until we have done the same things on animals first. This is Susie. When she first arrived, she was quite violent, especially over food. We recalibrated her anterior cingulate gyrus, and now look what a happy and generous girl she is. Jane: Thank you. Where'd it go? Is Susie here the extent of your animal testing? Dr. Stutzer: Oh, no. There's been other chimpanzees before her, rats, mice, pigeons. Jane: Have you ever been thrat by animal rights activists before now? Dr. Stutzer: Yes, of course. When one is a prominent scientist, one is sometimes menaced by animal people. It's always nonsense. Jane: In this case, we must assume the thrat are very real. Lisbon: The marshals will provide you with full protection, but you're gonna need to be careful. Dr. Stutzer: I am not intimidated. The work we are doing here is far too important. That is why I have this. In the long term, this technology has the potential to eradicate volence from human relations. That is what these animal rights maniacs don't understand. We are trying to create a world of peace where everyone is safe. Jane: From monkey attcks? Dr. Stutzer: Ah. More humor. Come this way. We are well past animal testing... And into the first stages of testing on humans. Machine: Question five— you are in a burning building. You can save "a," The life of a 45-year-old homeless male drug addict or "b," a priceless masterpiece painted by Rembrandt. Which do you choose? Man: "b." Jane: Hmm. Forget about the animal equality league. We should bmb the place. The guy's gonna put us out of a job. I can't see it. Lisbon: Human beings are more than just electrical appliances. Patrick. Jane: Dr. Miller. Sophie. Jane: Uh, this is, uh, agent Lisbon. Sophie: Hello. Lisbon: I'm gonna wait in the car. Jane: All right. Sophie: Thanks for getting me out. Jane: Oh, it wasn't me. It was the animal equality league that sprung you. Sophie: It's the thought that counts. How have you been doing? Jane: Good. Very good. You? Sophie: I've had my issues. Jane: Well, I... I don't know why that should surprise me. I suppose most patients assume their doctors have no problems themselves. Sophie: Well, who'd consult a sick doctor? It's one of the reasons I left clinical practice and went into pure research. Jane: What are they exactly, your issues? I mean, what's the story with you and Alex Nelson? asault? Restraining orders? Sophie: What can I say? I'm just drawn to controlling but damaged and emotionally unavailable men. Jane: You and Alex made a truce? Sophie: Yeah. Jane: But you were arguing just before he died. Sophie: About work. Is this an interrogation? Jane: No, no. I'm s—I'm sorry. I was just wondering about the logic of it all. Sophie: What logic? Jane: Oh, you saved my life. I owe you. I would do anything to repay that debt. You know that, right? But you're innocent, so why do you need my help? Why am I here? Sophie: Maybe I just wanted to see you again. Now I have. Good-bye, Patrick. Flashback Sophie: Patrick, my name is Sophie Miller. I'm gonna help you get better. End flashback CBI Rigsby: I got a partial plate, which gets us a list of about 2,000 vehicles. Take a look at the back window. Cho: It looks like a cat or a dog. Rigsby: It's a bear. The Northwestern Oregon State bear. So Van Pelt cross-referenced that vehicle list with alumni of Northwestern Oregon State... Van Pelt: Which gets us five names— all clean, no criminal records, no animal rights activism, all living quietly in Oregon. But one guy sold his van six months ago to a company based in Sacramento. Rigsby: A, uh... Company with no apparent business and no registered employees based out of one of those warehouses by the river. Cho: Nice work. Rigsby: We've been monitoring the building closely. So far, nobody's gone in or come out.. Cho: We don't know how many people are in there. Rigsby: This could get nasty. All: Police! Freeze! Let me see your hands! Don't move! CBI Man: Yeah, I klled Nelson. He had it coming. And I'm gonna kll Stutzer, too, for what he's doing to the animals. He's got it coming. Cho: What's he doing to the animals? Man: Hey, can I go now? I gotta feed the cats. They get hungry, you know, and they get mad, and they pee on my computer keyboard, and it really screws up my work. Cho: We won't keep you here any longer than we need to. Now this animal equality league—tell me about it. Man: It's a league of people who believe that animals should be equal to humans. I'm chair of the league's supreme council. Van Pelt: He's crazy. Rigsby: Yeah, crazy don't make him innocent. Crazy's what makes people kll other people. Cho: How did you kll Nelson? Man: Poison. Cho: What kind of poison did you use? Man: Wouldn't you like to know? Cho: I do know. I'm wondering if you do. Man: Do you realize that the real rulers of this planet are insects? Van Pelt: Okay. Crazy innocent, probably. Lisbon: Okay. Yeah. Keep him locked up until forensics have swept his stuff, just in case. Call mental health services. Have them take a look at him. Looks like the animal rights angle's a dad end. Back to square one. Jane: The grieving widow? Lisbon: That's always a good place to start. Jane: Yes, I think so. Nelson's house Emily: [phone] Flowers for funeral? I don't know how many flowers u're supposed to have in a memorial service. Is three arrangements too few? Well, how much do lilies cost? Maybe you should just speak to chancellor Stern. He might have a better idea. I'm sorry. Death is so complicated I'm expected to answer all these questions about everything. Lisbon: Mrs. Nelson, I just— Emily: Please call me Emily. I never really got the hang of being called "Nelson." Can we sit? I was just getting the hang of being a newlywed, and now I'm a widow. Lisbon: Mm. Did you ever get any sense that there was anything wrong in any aspect of Alex's life? Emily: No, I don't think so. I mean, work had been really hard lately. I know that. Jane: Is that you? Emily: Yes, that's when Alex and I first met. Jane: Huh. Cute picture. Lisbon: Why was work so hard? Emily: I don't know. When Alex would talk about his work, I couldn't understand a word, and he just stopped trying after a while. But he had an argument on the phone a few weeks ago. Alex went into his office, and I could hear him shouting. He was so angry. He never shouts. Lisbon: Any idea who he was shouting at? Emily: I know it was a woman. Rosie, I think he called her. Lisbon: Rosie. Do you know anybody named Rosie? Emily: No. Lisbon: Did you ever ask him about the phone call? Emily: I did. He said it was a work thing. Lisbon: And you believed him? Emily: Yeah. Lisbon: You didn't suspect that there was another woman involved? Emily: No. Lisbon: Sorry. I have to ask such things Sorry. You have a beautiful house. Beautiful. Did you do the decorating? Emily: No, it's all Alex. He was teaching me. He had an aesthetic. [phone] It keeps doing that every five minutes. What am I gonna do? Jane: When this funeral stuff is done with and Alex is buried, I want you to go someplace beautiful. Just get on a plane. Don't tell anyone where you're going. Just go. Fly away and start building a new life for yourself. Emily: Okay. Jane: Okay. But you promise me you will fight hard against your weakness for control freaks. Emily: Okay. Jane: Good. Good. Emily: I'm sorry. Jane: No. Jane: She couldn't kll anyone unless they told her to in a firm voice. Lisbon: That's funny. "don't listen to control freaks." "whatever you say, sir." Jane: Let's go see Stutzer's assistant. Lisbon: Kerry Sheehan? What, you think she's the mysterious Rosie? Jane: The widow's not a true blonde. She's naturally dark. Flashback Jane: Is that you? Emily: Yes. That's when Alex and I first met. End flashback Lisbon: And what? Jane: And her hair is colored and styled to look like Sophie— Only younger—who was a brunet when I knew her. Lisbon: So Nelson was a control freak, like you said. Jane: A control freak with a serious thing for getting his women to dye their hair blond. Lisbon: Kerry Sheehan has roots. Jane: Yes, she does. Lisbon: She and Alex Nelson were having an affair. Jane: Bravo. Lisbon: Don't patronize me. Lisbon: Miss Sheehan? Kerry? It's Teresa Lisbon. We want to talk to you about Alex Nelson. I need E.M.T.S at 9-6-5 elm. Flashback Kerry: He was good, good man. End Flashback Lisbon: Tell them not to run the lights. Forgive me Lisbon: Looks like su1c1de. Lisbon: Is it what it looks like, you think? Man: Yeah. How pink she was? That's cyanide. It causes high blood-oxygen saturation. Lisbon: Thanks. Van Pelt: Look at this, boss. I found these in the garbage upstairs. That's Alex with the victim. Stern: It's not a tidy end to this sad saga, but it is an end, at least. Thank you for all your hard work. Lisbon: We're not done here, I'm afraid. If Kerry Sheehan was a su1c1de, that doesn't make her guilty of Alex's mrder. Stern: If she's a su1c1de? CBI Lisbon: The note's too brief for a woman. Women like to explain themselves. I think it's a staged su1c1de. Jane: Perhaps she was too ashamed of what she'd done to talk of it Van Pelt: She had enough pills to kll herself ten times over. Rigsby: And hoarding pills is characteristic of the suicidal type. Van Pelt: Yes, but why would she kll herself with the hydrogen cyanide, with terrible pain, when she'd collected pills that would let her slip away gently? Jane: Well, maybe she wanted the pain she needed the pain to punish herself for klling her lover. Lisbon: You really want this case to be over, don't you Jane: Don't you? Lisbon: Actually, no. I want to find out the truth. And if Kerry didn't kll herself, then- Cho: the widow had a motive. Lisbon: Yeah, but not the temperament. There's no way she's a kller. That leaves one obvious suspect. Jane: Sophie. Lisbon: Look at her record. She and Alex were violently obsessed with each other. Maybe they were still secretly involved. Maybe she was jealous of Kerry. Yeah, Cho: But why kll Kerry and leave Emily unharmed Rigsby: And how did she even know Kerry was sleeping with Alex? Jane: Let's go ask her. Let's keep it casual to start with Sophie. Let her relax. If she gets her guard up, we'll get nothing from her. Lisbon: You're very combative all the sudden. Jane: No, if she is guilty, she lied to me, and I believed it. She fooled me. Lisbon: The ultimate sin. Jane: Yes, it is. Laboratory Machine: You're adrift in a lifeboat. You can save ten small children by pushing one 60-year-old man out of the boat. Yes or no? Woman: No. Machine: You're adrift in a lifeboat. You can save ten small children by failing to help one 60-year-old man out of the water and into the boat. Yes or no? Woman: Yes. Sophie: That's it. If you could just wait for Greg to release you from the chair, you can go. And thank you very much for your help. Really, both dilemmas are exactly the same— One life for ten— But almost everyone answers the set of questions the same way. It's the most basic human morality— The value we place on a human life and when we're willing to sacrifice it. But watch now if I run a current of electricity through this part of the brain, I can provoke a response that totally bypasses any conscious thought. I can manipulate the subject's moral reasoning towards good, and if I want, the reverse, toward evil. Now you know, obviously there are complex ethical issues involved. So we've recalibrated the test subjects just enough to prove our findings, because we don't want to get too far ahead of public sentiment. Jane: Theoretically, this way, villains... And this way, saints. Sophie: Yes, in simple terms. Jane: I must have a try. You gotta let me have a try. Sophie: Really? As test subject or controller? Jane: Controllers? You—you call them controllers? That's brilliant. Uh, I'll do either. I'd like to do both. Sophie: Really? I'm so glad that we've amused you. Lisbon: Dr. Miller? Sophie: Yes? Lisbon: I assume you've heard about Kerry Sheehan's death. Sophie: Yes, it's tragic. Do you think that she klled Alex? Lisbon: Is there somewhere we can talk in private? Sophie: Sounds so ominous. Lisbon: We could do it downtown with lawyers present, but I thought it'd be more congenial to talk here. Sophie: You're right, and I'm happy to talk to you, 'cause I understand you're just trying to do your job. Lisbon: We were wondering, did you know Kerry and Alex were having an affair? Sophie: Well, I knew she was having an affair with a married man because she told me. I didn't know it was Alex. I didn't put it together. Lisbon: She told you that. You were close, then? Sophie: No, not really. Lisbon: She had to have known you were Alex's ex. Why would she talk to you, of all people? Sophie: I don't know. Jane: You're a psychiatrist. Give it a sht. Sophie: My guess is that she was a silly little girl who liked the secret drama of it all and the safety of the rules that would prevent me from slapping her senseless, if I'd found out. Lisbon: Why would you slap her for that you didn't care about Alex anymore. Sophie: I cared nothing at all for him, but I don't like being played with. Lisbon: Were you still involved in a physical relationship with him? Sophie: No. Lisbon: Who's Rosie? Sophie: Rosie? I can't say that I know anybody with that name. Lisbon: Are you sure? Sophie: Yes. Why? Was that Alex's other woman? Lisbon: Emily heard Alex arguing with a woman she thought was called Rosie. Jane: Lisbon, would you leave us alone for a moment? Lisbon: No problem. Jane: Thank you. Sophie: What? Flashback Sophie: I know you're feeling powerless right now, but you're in control. You have a choice. You can choose to let evil defeat you, or you can fight back. You can fight, or you can give up and die. It's your choice. End flashback Jane: I asked Lisbon to leave us because you... Gave me my life back, and I owe you the chance to do the right thing. Sophie: Which is? Jane: Tell me the truth. Sophie: I told you I don't know anybody with that name. Jane: What about a monkey? Did you know a monkey with that name? Sophie: Yes. Jane: 'cause that's... Rosie... In there, isn't it? Sophie: Yes. Jane: You switched her with Susie because Susie never did get gentle, did she? Sophie: No. Jane: The morality engine doesn't work, does it? It's all phooey. And—and this guy— professor Lewis Stutzer— He's the wizard of oz. Sophie: No. We are this close. We are this close to cracking this. We're on the edge of— of a revolutionary break- Jane: "on the edge"? Sophie. This building, this institute, this whole multimillion dollar project is based on a sham. Yes or no? Sophie: Yes. It's a sham. We've been falsifying data for almost a year now to make it look like it works, but it doesn't. Jane: Why lie about it? It's—it was... Bound to be discovered. Sophie: Pride, delusion, greed. You have to understand. Lewis Stutzer is a genius. This project is the culmination of his life's work. I so desperately wanted it to work. We all did. And we began to believe the lies that we were telling. Jane: And Alex thrat to expose the whole thing. He was going to at the symposium that morning. He was gonna confess. Sophie: I begged him. I begged him not to. It'd be the end of our careers. It'd be the end of everything. Jane: So you klled him and Kerry to cover this whole thing up. Sophie: Patrick. Look at me. I had nothing to do with the deaths. I promise. Jane: Who was it? Stutzer? Sophie: I-I don't—I don't know. Jane: You knew they were both klled to cover this thing up, and yet you didn't say a word to me. That's why you asked me to help you, isn't it? Because you thought you could push my buttons. You thought you could manipulate me into exonerating you. Sophie, look at me. I don't care about the fraud, but if you had anything to do with those mrder— If you had anything at all to do with those mrder— Now is the time to walk away. Walk away and get on a plane to Brazil. Flashback Sophie: Patrick. Jane: Thank you, Doctor. Good-bye. Sophie: Good-bye, Patrick. Be well. End flashback Sophie: I had nothing to do with the mrder. Minelli: [phone]: No, no, no, no, no. I don't like to consent it at all. That's a crazy idea. Jane: Yeah, absolutely. All right. We'll do it, boss. Thanks. He said "Go ahead. Fine." Loves the idea. Sophie: Professor Stutzer, we've done it. Dr Stutzer: What? Sophie: The morality engine works. Dr Stutzer: It works? Sophie: I'll show the policemen how the brain scaner works, -But as the later have been tripping off. Dr Stutzer: Yes, it's been doing that Sophie: So I decide to bypass the differential filters. I think it's producing an eye-on flow into the dent Dr Stutzer: But how? Sophie: I don't know how it works, but it works. Laboratory Sophie: This is his baseline before recalibration. And after. Dr Stutzer: You sure about this? Sophie: I've checked and rechecked the results. Watch! I'm not up to my small authority. Machine: Question 65-B A gn is going to sht an innocent child, you can save the child by jumping in front of the gn, but it will cost you your life, do you A-give up your life, or B-let the child die. Jane: A. Sophie: And now I'm going to make him evil. Machine: Question 98. You're stranded on an island with a stranger, you find food supply but there's only enough to keep one person alive, if you do not share the food, your survival is guaranteed, but the stranger will starve. Do you A-share the food, or B-keep the food for yourself. Jane: B. Sophie: See? It works. Dr Stutzer: It does work. It really works. We must tell the chancellor that it works. Machine: Eating people is wrong. True or false? Jane: False. Machine: Question 95. Seeing another human being in pain is pleasant. True or false? Jane: True. Sophie: Well done! Well done! Thanks a lot! Dr Stutzer: I told you I'll succeed in the end. Sophie: Yes, you did. You surly did. All: Mr. Jane. Sophie: Mr. Jane, I haven't restored your normal calibration. Jane: Don't worry about it. Sophie: But he's been calibrated for evil. Dr Stutzer: Sir! Sir, please, follow Dr. Miller's advice. You don't understand what has happened to you. Jane: Yes, I understand. Your morality engine worked. Made me into a good man. Dr Stutzer: No. You do not understand. It is exactly the opposite. Jane: No, doc, you don't understand. Stern: What are you doing? Jane: Put the phone down. Thank you. You know why I'm alive on this planet? My sole purpose. I catch bad people and punish them. That's all I do. Because when I do that, I know I'm doing something good. You see? Dr Stutzer: Yes, yes. Jane: Good people do good thing. Bad people do bad things. Dr Stutzer: Th-that—that's true. Jane: Yes. Now let's test your moral baseline. Question 99—who klled Alex Nelson and Kerry Sheehan? Dr Stutzer: I-I don't know. Jane: That's not an acceptable answer. Tell me the truth, or I will kll that woman. Dr Stutzer: I am telling you the truth. Oh, my god! Stern: Oh, my god! Oh, my god. Jane: Okay, now that we've established Some real test parameters, tell me who klled Alex Nelson and Kerry Sheehan, Or I will sht your good friend here. And then if you still don't give me an honest answer, I will kll you. Dr Stutzer: My good man, I cannot tell you what I do not know. Jane: I need an answer. Stern: It was me. It was... It was me. It was me. Dr Stutzer: You? Why? Stern: I-I klled them. I'm sorry, Lewis. I was only trying to protect you. Jane: I need evidence. Stern: In—in my basement in a charcoal lighter fluid bottle. Jane: What's in the bottle? Stern: Cyanide. Jane: Why did you do it? Stern: To protect the university. Alex was going to expose the Stutzer institute as a fraud. The—the university's finances are—are based on Stutzer's reputation. If Stutzer goes down, Leyland university goes down. Jane: And Kerry came to you after Alex died, said that Alex had told her everything. She was gonna expose Stutzer, not just as a fraud, But as a mrder. Stern: Yes. Jane: Yeah. Where in the basement is that bottle? Stern: Top shelf on the left as you—as you.. As you come down the stairs. Jane: I bet you keep a nice, neat basement. What was in that bottle again? Stern: Cyanide. Jane: Sophie, you can get up now. See? The blood— totally worth it. It's always those little details that help sell the whole thing. That was—that was great. Stern: It's all inadmissible. I-I said what I had to say to—to save myself from this lunatic with a gn. It's inadmissible. Jane: She knows, but knowing the truth is important, too. Uh, top shelf left or right, did you say? Stern: Left. Lisbon: We have agents at your house right now with a search warrant. Stern: Inadmissible. Lisbon: Yes. I'd hate to be a state's attorney. Jane's always pulling crap like this on them. But they always win. In the meantime, you're under arrest. Cho? Would you? Cho: Put your hands on your head. Jane: Thank you. Cho: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. Dr Stutzer: If you give up that right... The engine doesn't work? You were pretending. Sophie: It doesn't work. Dr Stutzer: Pretending. To catch the chancellor... Or me, I suppose. You couldn't know which. Jane: No, I thought it was you. Dr Stutzer: Very clever. I so badly wanted to believe that it worked. Mind plays tricks, huh? Never mind. Jane: In the future, I hope that your love life is a little more peaceful, but if it's not and an ex-lover turns up dad again,do me a favor? Don't call me. I think we're pretty much even. Sophie: Paid in full. Jane: Great. What are you gonna do now? Sophie: I'm ruined as a scientist, so I'll probably go back to helping people one by one. Jane: I think that's a great idea. You're very good at that. Sophie: Thanks. Jane: Bye, Sophie. Be well. Lisbon: Jane kissed a girl. Jane: Well, you know, it's... Yeah, on the cheek. Lisbon: Still counts. Jane: Counts as what? Lisbon: Nothing. Just saying. You want to drive? Jane: That's a very sweet offer. Do I really seem so sad? Lisbon: What? I was just asking if you wanted to drive. Jane: You don't like it when I drive. You despise it. Lisbon: You drive way too fast. Jane: I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control, and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears go cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you. I'd love to drive. Lisbon: Never mind.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x10 - Red Brick and Ivy"}	foreverdreaming
Police and SWAT cars pull up in front of a mansion, and the SWAT team runs inside. They approach a locked room - we see the key is still in the door on the inside. They break in to find Jared sitting crying on the bed next to a dad girl. Both are in their underwear. ONE YEAR LATER A prison complex. Jane shows his ID and is allowed into the yard where Jared is sitting in his orange prisoner's clothes. Jared: Thank you for coming. Jane: You said you had information about Red John. Jared: Yes, I do. klled your wife and daughter, huh? Heard a lot about you. They say you can tell when people are lying. Jane: Do you have information about Red John? Jared: I have dynamite information about Red John. Enough to catch him. Jane: How do you come by this information? Jared: Red John is a friend of a friend of mine. Jane: Is that friend of yours in prison too? Jared [laughs]: I have friends from all walks of life. Jane: Tell me. Jared: I am currently doing 25 years to life for a crime I didn't commit. My last appeal just failed. You get me out of here and I will give you Red John. Jane: You rped and mrder your family housekeeper's daughter. If you do know a lot about me, you know that I'm not a real magician. Jared: I didn't do it. Jane: I read the case file. The physical evidence, the testimonies of all the witnesses including your own family says you did. Jared: I didn't kll her. Jane: What happened? Jared: I don't know. We were partying, I did some blows of meth, we had sex, I fell asleep. And it's morning, Andine's dad, cops are busting in. Jane: The door was locked from the inside. There were bars on the windows. Jared: Yes. Jane: How is it physically possible that anyone else could have committed the mrder? Jared: I don't know. But I didn't, ergo someone else did. Someone you can find. You see me. Am I lying? Jane: You seem to be telling the truth, but you're a very clever, unprincipled narcissist in a desperate corner. Even if you are innocent, doesn't mean you have information on Red John. Yeah, it's a tough call. [Pauses to think.] I'm gonna have to say no. [Starts to walk away.] Jared: Your wife. Red John painted her toenails, yes? Painted them with her own blood. Police didn't make that public, did they? She's the only instance he did that, huh? Touch of elegance, for you alone. Jane: How do you know that? Jared: I told you. Red John is a friend of a friend of mine. Jane: What is this friend's name? Jared: His name is get me out of here and I will tell you. That and much more. I'll sing like a bird. Jane: Okay. Jane, Lisbon and Minelli are in Minelli's office. Minelli: No! I said no and I mean no. It's not that I don't want to help you. I want to help you. It's just it's not physically possible. Jared Renfrew was tried and convicted. It's a closed case. I have no authority to re-open it without cause. Jane: There is cause. Minelli: For you there's cause. Not for the State of California. We can't touch it. Jane: Ah, but we could touch it if... Minelli: Closed case! Nothing to be done. The Justice Dept doesn't go about undoing its own work. Jane: I understand. No problem. If we can't touch it, we can't touch it. Minelli: I'm sorry. Jane: No. The law's the law. My desire for revenge doesn't outweigh the rules. I have to accept that. Minelli: Glad you understand. Jane: Thanks for your time. (Jane leaves the room.) Minelli: He's lying through his teeth, isn't he? Lisbon: Yes. Lisbon comes out of Minelli's office into the bullpen where Jane is. Lisbon: Jane. I know better than to try and stop you from doing what you think you have to do. Jane: No, I'm fine about it. I can see Minelli's point. I can't be chasing every nutbag with a good story, can I? Lisbon: Yeah, sure you're fine with it. Just do me the favour of listening to me for a minute, so I can say 'I told you so' later. Jane: Sure. Lisbon: Jared Renfrew was found hugging the corpse of Andine Kopecki in a room locked from the inside, holding a bloody butcher Knfe in his hand. His semen was inside of her. He'd been stalking her for weeks. He's got a history of volence going back 15 years. Jane: What's your point? Lisbon: He's guilty. You're being conned. Jane: Possible, but I don't think so. But I've got to find out one way or the other. Lisbon: Even if he's telling the truth about the mrder, he could still be lying about Red John. Jane: Also possible, but I've got to take the chance. What else can I do? Lisbon: Minelli wants me to keep a watch on you. Jane: What are you going to do? Lisbon: Well, I'm not going to follow you around. Let's compromise. When you get into trouble, call me first so I can try and minimise the damage. Jane: Deal. Lisbon: And don't use your CBI card. The Bureau finds out you used it without authorisation, you're done. Jane: I hear you. Outside the Renfrew's imposing gates. Jane presses the intercom. Maid [through intercom]: Hello. Jane: Hi, my name's Patrick Jane. I'd like to speak to Gardner Renfrew about his brother Jared. Maid [through intercom]: One moment, please. [Pause] Mr Renfrew says no thank you. Jane: Tell Mr Renfrew I can prove his brother is innocent and I know who really committed the mrder. Jane holds out his arms like he's doing a magic trick and the gates begin to open. Jane is in inside with Gardner Renfrew and his wife, Breck. The maid has given Jane some water. Jane: Thank you very much. [He points to a photo.] Is that your father? Gardner: Yes. What's this all about, Mr Jane? Who are you and what do you mean by this? They all sit down. Jane: Do you think your brother is innocent? Gardner: You said you could prove he's innocent. You said you know who really did it. Jane: No. That was just to get inside the house. I have no idea who might have done it. Might have been Jared. Hope not. He seems to be telling the truth. What do you think? Gardner: I think you had better leave. Right now, Mr Jane. I don't have the time or the patience for tom-foolery. [He and his wife stand up.] Jane: So you think he's guilty. I'm wasting my time. Gardner: We're done talking. Jane: Suppose I could prove he was innocent. Wouldn't you want that? Wouldn't you want that blot on your name expunged? Breck: Of course he would. Gardner: Nothing would make me happier, but my brother is guilty. He violated the poor girl , he violated this house, he violated this family. Jane: That's all I needed to know. Thank you for your time. Your mother lives here in the guest house, doesn't she? Gardner: You leave my mother alone. Jane: Well, that's not your call to make, is it? [He gets up and walks further into the house.] Gardner: Breck, call the police. Jane: Be sure and tell them I'm unarmed. Jane ducks down a corridor with an annoyed Gardner behind him. He comes running out into the garden where Mrs Renfrew is. Gardner [calling]: Go inside, Mother! Go inside! Jane approaches Mrs Renfrew. Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I want to speak to you about your son, Jared. Gardner: I'll deal with him, Mother. The police are on their way. Just go inside. Mrs Renfrew: Don't order me about. And don't be so hysterical. [To Patrick] What's your interest in Jared. Jane: I'm a friend of his. Trying to prove his innocence. Mrs Renfrew: Come and sit down. Jane: Thank you. Gardner: Mother, you're being childish. Mrs Renfrew: Go away, Gardner. Gardner: Mother! Mrs Renfrew: Go away! [Gardner leaves. Mrs Renfrew and Jane sit at a table in the garden.] Tell me why you wish to prove my son's innocence. Jane: Oh, I can promise you, I'm not up to anything sinister, Ma'am. My motives are pure. Tell me about Jared. Mrs Renfrew: He was a troubled child. Charming and bright, but a bully and a liar and something of a sadist. Jane: Qualities you rather liked in him, I expect. Mrs Renfrew [laughs]: Yes, I did. I found him rather amusing, at first. One doesn't want a wimp for a son. But there must be a sense of proportion and moderation. As he got older, he got worse. Fell in with bad people. It was one scandal after another, in and out of prison. A common criminal. Jane: But he turned himself around, didn't he? Mrs Renfrew: He gave up the drink and the drugs and the gallivanting. Made peace with his brother and came home to help run the family businesses. Jane: The prodigal son. Mrs Renfrew: Yes. George, his father, was overjoyed. I was sceptical. Pleased, of course, but sceptical. As my mother always said, you are what you are. Jane: I guess she's right. Mrs Renfrew: Yes. Poor George dropped dad a week after the mrder. Broke his heart, people said. George didn't really have a heart, in that sense. He died of embarrassment. A Renfrew in the pokey for mrder. Quelle horreur. Jane: Can you show me where it happened? Jane and Mrs Renfrew inside the house, walking to the room where the mrder took place. Jane: Who else was in the house? Mrs Renfrew: I had a small dinner party. Probably 10 people all told. After they left, it was just family. Gardner and Breck, George and I, and Jared, of course. [She gets the key from the top of the doorframe and unlocks the door.] Jane: Not Mariska, the housekeeper? Mrs Renfrew: No. She lived out. [She opens the door.] Andine was only here to help the cook with the dinner party. [Jane looks around the room.] She was a lovely girl, full of life and promise. Her mother, Mariska, had been with us 20 years. Part of the family. Jane: Jared told me that he and Andine were having an affair. That he loved her and he'd never hurt her. Mrs Renfrew: She told her mother that he was stalking her, that she was scared of him. She didn't go to the police out of respect for the family. Jane: Hmm. I'd like to speak to the mother. Mrs Renfrew: She left our employ, I'm afraid. It was too difficult for both of us. Jane: Where is she now? Mrs Renfrew: I have an address somewhere. Jane: Can you get it for me now? Mrs Renfrew: As you wish. Jane: Thank you. Mrs Renfrew leaves. Jane peers into a hall closet and sees some fishing line. He closely examines the door of the room and the key. Gardner arrives with a couple of policemen and his wife. Policeman: Sir, would you come with us? Jane: Why? Policeman: You're trespassing here. Jane: No, I'm not. Policeman: Okay, sir, this man here says he's the homeowner and says you're trespassing, so let's go. Jane: Officer, it's the other way around. I'm the homeowner, that man is the intruder. Gardner: That's a lie! He...he's lying. Jane: Listen to the madness in his voice. Will you please take him somewhere he can get some help. Mrs Renfrew comes back in looking at a piece of paper in her hand. Mrs Renfrew: Here you are. I don't know that she'll still be there, but... Jane: Thank you so much. [She sees the officers.] Mrs Renfrew: For heaven's sake, Gardner! Policemen! How ridiculous! Send them away. Policeman: Ma'am, this man here is... Mrs Renfrew: Yes, yes, it's quite all right, officer. You can go. The policemen start to leave. Gardner: Thanks. Jane: Well, goodbye, Mrs Renfrew. I expect we'll speak again soon. Mrs Renfrew: Good day to you. [Jane raises his eyebrows at Gardner as he leaves.] Jane, Lisbon and Minelli once more in Minelli's office. Minelli: Gardner Renfrew is a player in this town. You can't go to his house and screw around with him. Jane: Why not? It's a free country. I didn't use my ID. I didn't even mention the CBI. Minelli: You gave your real name. Jane: It's my name! Minelli: Well, you should have lied as you so often do, because now I have to give you an official reprimand and order you in the strongest possible terms to leave the Renfrew family alone and drop the matter. Jane: Sorry, can't do that. Minelli: You have to. This is straight from the AG's office. Jane: Jared Renfrew didn't kll Andine Kopecki. Lisbon: Do you have evidence of that? Jane: Not yet. I have pieces that I'm piecing together. He's innocent. Minelli: Wake up, Dorothy. You're not in Kansas anymore. There are innocent men in jail. It happens. Is he one of them? I don't know. I doubt it. In any case, we can't re-open his case. Jane [with a naughty smile]: If I'm Dorothy, then who are you? Minelli: It doesn't matter who I am. [Lisbon looks amused.] We will find other ways of making Renfrew talk to you. There's a lot that can be done to make a prisoner's life easier if he co-operates. Jane: It's not going to work. He's innocent. Minelli: Okay. Here it is. If you pursue this any further, I'm going to have to throw you out of the CBI. We can't take the liability. I very much do not want to have to do that. Jane [standing up]: I know you don't, so I'll spare you the trouble. [He puts his CBI ID on Minelli's table.] I quit. Lisbon: Don't do that. Jane: No, it's okay. It's best this way. [He goes over to her.] You are the good witch Glinda, obviously. Thank you. [He puts his hand on her shoulder.] I learned a lot. He smiles at her. She looks upset. He leaves. Lisbon walks into her office and finds Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt waiting for her. Lisbon: Don't bother. I know. I feel the same way. Nothing to be done. Rigsby: So now when he really needs our help, we're letting him down. Lisbon: I want to help him just as much as you do. Our orders state that we must stay away from this case. Van Pelt: I don't care what our orders say. It's not right. Lisbon: We closed cases before he came, we'll close cases after he's gone. Cho: Yeah, just not so many. Rigsby: Cases are not the point. It's not that we need him. He needs us. Lisbon: Yeah, he needs us on a fool's errand. Renfrew's a conman. He doesn't know anything about Red John. Van Pelt: Suppose we found a connection between Renfrew and Red John? Lisbon: It would... Wait, what's in the file? Let me guess, a connection between Renfrew and Red John? Van Pelt [smiles and hands her the file]: Seven years ago Renfrew was serving time on a narcotics conviction. He shared a cell in Lompoc with a man by the name of Orville Tanner. Tanner claimed in his 1998 trial for mrder that he had only been an accomplice, that the real kller was a man by the name of Red John. Nobody believed him. Lisbon: '98. That's the beginning of Red John's career. Where's Tanner now? Van Pelt: He died of heart disease in prison hospital. Lisbon: Of course. Our luck. Van Pelt: It's a connection. Lisbon: Slim. Likely nobody believed him for a reason. Rigsby: But it's a connection. Lisbon: Okay. Check out Tanner's background, find the autopsy report, see if there's any credibility to his story. I mean, obviously we can't do that, but that's what I would tell you to do if we weren't ordered to stay away from this case. [They all grin conspiratorially.] The bullpen. Rigsby is on the phone, Cho is looking at a file, Van Pelt is on her computer. Rigsby [on the phone]: Okay, then let me speak to the assistant to the deputy records officer. Van Pelt: Why do people say 'Eureka' when they do something good? Cho: It's Greek for 'bingo'. Van Pelt: Well, so, Eureka. I found the autopsy reports and they back up Orville Tanner's story. The body of the alleged victim - cut up Red John style. Rigsby: Which means that Renfrew is telling some kind of truth about his Red John connection. Rigsby and Cho see Minelli approaching and try to look busy and innocent. Van Pelt doesn't notice him coming up behind her. Minelli: Van Pelt! [She jumps.] What's that you're working on? Cho: Sir, I asked her to... Minelli: I'm talking to Van Pelt. Van Pelt: Sir, I'm doing research for Jane. No excuses, sir. Minelli [looking at the other two.]: You too, I suppose? Lisbon comes into the room. Lisbon: Hey, boss. Minelli: I gave this unit a direct written order and they have flagrantly disobeyed that order. Did they do that with your knowledge? Lisbon: I ordered them to do it. I told them you countermanded your earlier order. They had no knowledge whatsoever that they were doing anything irregular. Minelli: Nice try, Mother Teresa, they already gave themselves up. Rigsby: We never said a word! Lisbon: I stand by my story. They didn't know they were out of line. Cho: Sir, the opposite is true. We forced Agent Lisbon to let us do this. Minelli: Very touching. My ex-wife would have loved this scene in a movie. I'm giving you all formal notice. Any further infractions will result in immediate suspension. Lisbon: Sir, you might as well suspend me now because there will be further infractions. Jane needs our help and he's going to get it. I'm not going to lay off because some fat cat's putting on the pressure. Cho and Rigsby: Me too. Van Pelt: And me. Minelli: Moving. Eloquent. Two thumbs up. You shall have your wish. You're all suspended, starting right now, for gross insubordination. [He walks out.] Lisbon: I'm sorry. Lisbon walks into Minelli's office. Minelli: Oh, hi. Lisbon. [Sarcastically.] Still here? Lisbon: That was more of a rhetorical stand we were taking back there. Minelli: You take it back then? Lisbon: Well no, but I wanted to talk... Minelli: This is the, um, the suspension paperwork right here. Lisbon: Look, I... Minelli: I have to go and visit my sister in Hawaii for a week. She's sick. Meanwhile, this paperwork is going to sit on my desk. For a week. Is that clear? One week. Lisbon: Yes, sir. Thank you. Minelli: Yes, be very grateful. Do not contact me. I do not want to know anything. And please do not dig the hole that you are standing in any deeper than you have already dug it. Lisbon: No, sir. Minelli: That hole is the grave of your very promising career. Lisbon [mischievously]: You should put a flashlight underneath your chin, just to complete the effect. Minelli: I'm not kidding. Lisbon: I know. [She leaves, and Minelli gives a small smile of amusement.] Jane, sitting on a step next to some garbage, looking defeated. He's holding the piece of paper that Mrs Renfrew gave him with the housekeeper's address on it. Flashback to him finding the note on the door and the smiley face the night his family was klled. His phone ringing brings him back to the present. He answers. Jane [on the phone]: Hey Lisbon. [Listens] Oh yeah fine. Uh, just, uh, out... investigating stuff. [Listens] Uh, sure, yeah. Pepperoni or plain? [Listens] Okay. [Listens] Uh, hey, Lisbon, um, thank you. The bullpen. Night. Jane, Lisbon, Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt are sitting around a table eating pizza. Jane: Renfrew couldn't dispute the physical evidence. The core of his defence was that he loved Andine deeply and he would never hurt her. Andine's mother testified that was a lie. I went to go speak with her but she'd moved, left no forwarding address. Van Pelt: Mariska Kopecki, right? [She starts typing on her laptop.] Jane: Yeah. Lisbon: How does the brother look? Jane: He had motive. There's a moral turpitude clause in the family trust. Once convicted, all Jared's shares in the family business went to Gardner. But he would have also go the shares if Jared had died. Rigsby: So why not just kll Jared? Why kll Andine? Jane: Exactly. Why kll Andine? Cho: Wanted to see Jared suffer, maybe. Or had a thing for Andine himself. Van Pelt [looking at her computer]: Eureka. I input Mariska Kopecki into the secure search engine. I get an IM link to a healthcare database that documents Mariska Kopecki's notification that she's changing her name to Vanna Clooney. I input the new name and get a ht. Four months ago someone named VK Clooney bought a condo in Marin. Lisbon: Nice work. Van Pelt: Yeah, weird thing though. The original IM came from a civilian. Dr Joe in New Hampshire. He couldn't have been logged onto the DOJ secure network, so how did he know what I was asking about and how did he have access to the healthcare database? Nobody is allowed to do that. Jane: When you say Dr Joe in New Hampshire, do you mean DR JOE N.H.? [He changes the letters to read RED JOHN.] Van Pelt: Yeah. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Jane: Ask 'Who are you?' [She types this and gets a response ".....: -) ..... Is Jane there?" The smiley is in red.] Yes. [He types "This is Jane." And gets a response "Keep up the good work."] Keep up the good work. [He types "Why?" and tries to trace the IM, but it fails.] Van Pelt: He's gone. Rigsby: What the hell was that about? Van Pelt: He somehow tapped into the DOJ secure network. He's been spying on us. Lisbon: Can we find the source of the IM? Van Pelt: There's a self-destruct code built into the uplink. It dad ends at the secondary server. There's no way to trace it back. Jane: He wants us to succeed. He wants Renfrew out of jail. Rigsby: Out where he can get at him to silence him. Jane: Yes. Which means Renfrew is telling the truth, which means he has the goods on Red John. Lisbon: Slow down. We don't have anything yet. Jane: Yes, we still have to get Renfrew out of jail first. Lisbon: That's all? Jane: An we will and then Red John will go after him. He has to break cover, he has to, and we'll be waiting for him. Vanna Clooney's apartment. Lisbon knocks on the door and takes out her badge. Jane: Uh. Lisbon: Damn. [She puts her badge away.] Jane: How are you going to get us in there without your magic badge? Lisbon: You do the talking. Jane: No, you try. Lisbon: Don't be childish, I'm not... [the door opens] Vanna: Oh, I thought it was Harry. Who are you? Lisbon: Hi. Vanna Clooney? Vanna: Yes. Lisbon: I'm Teresa and this is Patrick. Can... can we come in for a moment? [Jane is watching Lisbon with amusement.] Vanna: What do you want? [Lisbon looks pleadingly at Patrick.] Jane: It's to do with Harry. Vanna: What about him? Jane: Well, it's best not to speak out here in public. Inside Vanna's apartment, Jane and Lisbon sit with Vanna in her living room. Jane: Okay, I lied just now. We're here to talk about your daughter, Andine. [Vanna looks furious and stands up.] Vanna: Get out. Jane: Sit down. [She sits.] Vanna: Who are you? Jane: Listen to me, or your guilt and pain and shame won't ever go away. It won't go away until you tell the truth. Vanna: What truth? What are you crazy? You don't know me. You don't know what I feel. Jane: I do know you. When you first came to this country, a young woman, you dreamed of such great things, what a life you'd have. And what did fate bring you? Twenty-five years of drudgery, a servant's life. You hated every day of it. Vanna: Who wants to be a servant? Nobody. Jane: You did it for her, for Andine, so that she would have a better life. Vanna: Yes. Jane: Then she was gone, taken from you in a flash. Your whole life, all those days of drudgery and humiliation wasted. What a joke, huh? Vanna: Yes, a joke, haha. What do you want from me? Jane: I want to know who klled her. Vanna: What's it matter who klled her? She's gone. Jane: Well, you didn't say Jared. That would be the obvious answer. Vanna: Okay, Jared klled her. I don't care. Jane: It's true. There's nothing you can do that will bring her back. So if you get paid to lie about what happened, then where's the harm? Vanna: What? Paid? Nobody paid me anything. Jane: Don't lie to me. Tell me the truth. You took your 20 pieces of silver and bought the life you always wanted, didn't you? Vanna: No. Jane: It's what you always wanted. It means nothing. Lisbon: Jane. Jane: Look at me, Mariska. Look at me and tell me I'm wrong. Vanna: You think you know everything. You know nothing. Jane: I know that Jared and Andine were lovers, weren't they? And you were paid to say that they weren't. Say it out loud. Vanna: Yes, they were lovers. Jane: Who paid you to say that they weren't? Vanna: I don't know. What you call a... a private investigator, he came to me and he offered me a lot of money. A lot of money, but I said no. He offered more. I took it. Lisbon: What was his name? Vanna: Samson. Austin Samson. Lisbon talking on the phone in the bullpen, walking towards Jane's desk. Lisbon: Okay, Cho. Thank you. [She hangs up.] Austin Samson is dad. Jane: What? Lisbon: ht by a bus. Jane: Damn. Lisbon: We could get a court order for his records. Jane: Remember, you're on suspension. Lisbon: If we don't get this closed up before Minelli gets back, we're done. Jane: Plan B, then. Lisbon: What's Plan B? Jane: Oh, you're not going to like it. Lisbon and Rigsby are at the Renfrew house. Breck answers the door. Lisbon shows her badge. Lisbon: We need to speak with your husband, Ma'am. In the passage outside the room where Andine died. Gardner, Breck and Mrs Renfrew approach Lisbon and Rigsby. Gardner: Who is the Agent in charge here? Lisbon: I'm Agent Lisbon. This is Agent Rigsby. And I believe you've met my colleague, Patrick Jane? [Jane pops out from a side passage.] Jane: Hello. I expect you're all wondering why I gathered you all here? Gardner: Breck, go call the police. Jane: Ah, Mr Renfrew, wait. Unless you want your family ruined in a deluge of sordid scandal, you might want to listen to me. Gardner: What are you talking about? Jane: Someone, I don't know who, paid Mariska Kopecki a lot of money to lie about Jared and Andine. They were lovers, as your brother said. Gardner: So what? The fact is, they were found in a locked room. It's not physically possible for someone to have gotten into the room to commit the mrder. Jane: Yes. There's the rub. The key was in the door. Watch closely. [Jane hands his jacket to Lisbon with a flourish, gets the key from above the door and unlocks and opens the door.] Rigsby. Would you please go inside and lock the door. [Rigsby hands Jane a newspaper he is holding, takes the key and does as Jane asked. Jane unfolds the newspaper.] Suppose Jared and Andine are inside sleeping. [He slides the newspaper under the door and uses a pen to knock the key out of the door and onto the newspaper, which he then slides back out through the gap under the door. He unlocks the door with a flourish, lets Rigsby out and hands him back the newspaper.] Breck: That's all very clever, but how do you get out again? Jane locks the door from the outside, lays the key on the floor, gets some fishing line, which he twangs theatrically, before feeding it through the keyhole and back out under the door. He loops the end around the bottom of the key and pulls the other end so that the key is pulled up into the keyhole. Jane: May I borrow your lighter, please? [Gardner hands him his lighter.] Thank you. [He burns the fishing line where it disappeared into the keyhole, and throws the lighter back to Gardner.] And that is how Jared was framed. Cool, huh? Gardner: It doesn't mean Jared is innocent and it certainly doesn't mean that someone else is guilty. It's a party trick. Jane: A party trick a jury will love. Put that together with Mariska's testimony and I think we have a pretty good chance of winning a new trial. Then the truth will come out, somehow. Unless... Gardner: Unless what? Lisbon: Unless we can make some kind of financial deal here that would make it worth our while dropping all of this. Gardner: You want money? You're blackmailing us? Jane: Eh, call it leverage. Mrs Gardner: But you're state agents! Lisbon: Ex-state agents. Thanks to your son here, Jane was tossed out and we're going with him. We need to look after ourselves now. We won't be unreasonable. Gardner: You people are a disgrace! Get out! Jane: Oh, we're going. We'll give you until four to call us with an offer. After that we're going to make some calls of our own. [He takes his jacket from Lisbon and they start walking away.] Gardner: I'll tell you who I'm calling. I'm calling the FBI! Outside the Renfrew home. Rigsby: Am I wrong, or did that go down not quite as you'd hoped? Jane: I've had better responses, but I think we made a sale. Never can tell. Lisbon: We're doomed. In the bullpen, just before 4pm. Jane: Patience. Patience. Patience. [He's sitting with the phone on his lap.] Rigsby: If you say patience one more time... [He's doing a Rubik's Cube. Cho and Lisbon are sitting tensely, waiting. Jane's cell phone rings on his desk. He jumps up and answers it.] Jane: Hello. [Listens.] I'll be right there. [Hangs up.] Lisbon: Who was that? [Jane turns and smiles at her. She smiles back.] The Renfrew's garden. Jane walks out to where Mrs Renfrew is sitting having tea. Jane: I confess. I thought it would be Gardner who called me. Mrs Renfrew: Gardner! [She chuckles.] He hasn't the gumption. I will not see our family name dragged through the mud again. How much do you want to keep quiet? Jane: Hmm. How much did you give Mariska? Mrs Renfrew: I don't say I paid her anything. Jane: You needn't be evasive. Only a guilty person would respond this way to such naked extortion. I know you're guilty. I'm just not sure why. [He sits down.] Mrs Renfrew: Your suspicions are neither here nor there. I asked you your price. Jane: Your late husband was a handsome man. Mrs Renfrew: Yes, he was. What's that got to do with it? Jane: Domineering, though. Had to have things his way. He died how long after the mrder? Mrs Renfrew: A week. Aortic aneurism. Jane: Hm. And Mariska, she left your employ when? Mrs Renfrew: At the same time. Jane: After he died, though? Mrs Renfrew: Yes. [Jane grins. He points at the tea.] Jane: May I? [She nods.] Thank you. [He pours some tea.] So you got rid of her as soon as you could after he died, because Andine was your husband's child, wasn't she? Mrs Renfrew: Yes. Jane: And you never confronted him or Mariska? Mrs Renfrew: No. I decided I liked my life as it was. I didn't want a drama and I didn't want to be lied to. They never knew I suspected. Jane: 18 years of secret anger. How did you stand it? Mrs Renfrew: Nobody's life is perfect. Jane: And then when you found out about Andine and Jared's affair, you must have been enraged. It's practically incest. Mrs Renfrew: It is. It is incest. When I found out, I told Jared he was not to continue the affair. He refused. Said he was in love with her. Refused to stop seeing her. Jane: Didn't you tell him why you objected? Mrs Renfrew: Certainly not. I couldn't tell him. It was too sordid. Too humiliating. Jane: Instead you klled Andine, paid off her mother and sent your son to jail for life. Mrs Renfrew: No. I wouldn't do that. [She gets her bag and takes out a vial of blood.] Andine's blood. [Flashback to her seeing Andine and Jared kissing and going into his room. We then see them asleep and her getting into the locked room as Jane had shown, cutting Andine's throat and catching some blood in the vial.] It's proof I did it. I took it so I could confess and get Jared freed when I chose. Just as soon as he'd learned his lesson. Jane: What lesson? Mrs Renfrew: Everything in moderation. And listen to your mother. Jane: Can't argue with that. CBI HQ. Two weeks later. Cho and Rigsby are getting their gn and gear ready. Jane: Good? Rigsby: Yip. Jane goes to Lisbon's office. She's sitting at her desk. He pops his head in the doorway. Jane: We're ready to go get Renfrew. Is the safe house all set up? Lisbon: Yeah. Jane: Good. [They look at each other.] I guess I'll see you over there later. Lisbon: Jane, please be careful. Remember this is playing out just like Red John wants it to. Jane: This is playing out just like it has to. He has no choice but to try and silence Renfrew. He has to show himself. We're getting close. I can feel it. Lisbon: You can feel it. Like a psychic thing? Jane [smiling]: No. I am quietly confident that we will get a bite. Lisbon: You think you're playing him and he thinks he's playing you. One of you is wrong. He smiles and leaves. Jane, Cho and Rigsby wait by their SUV outside the prison. A guard brings out Jared. Jared: Thank you. Thank you. [He hugs Jane.] Jane: I kept my side of the bargain. Now it's your turn. Tell what you know. Jared: Absolutely. All will be revealed, but... here? Give me a chance to catch a breath of fresh air. And then we will sit and talk as long as you like and I've got a lot to tell and I owe you. Big time. I owe you my life. In the meantime, uh, I would kll for a cheese burger and fries. Jane: Drive through. Rigsby: Put this on. [Hands him a bllet-proof vest.] Jared: Can't you say please? I'm a free man now. Rigsby [sighs]: Put this on, please. Jared: Sure. They drive into a crowd of protestors carrying posters that say "Fur is evil", "Save the Earth" and "Meat is mrder" and get stuck. Rigsby: What the hell is this? Oh, geez, come on! Cho: Relax. Jared suddenly throws his coffee in Cho's face, jumps out the car and disappears into the crowd. Jane, Rigsby and Cho give chase, but he's vanished. Jane looks distraught. CBI HQ. Lisbon: He vanished 5 hours ago and we've heard nothing from him since. The town was on pretty good lock-down, so we're guessing he had friends to get him out of the area fast. Minelli: Planned it in advance, probably. [Cho throws slams the ball he's holding angrily into the ground.] Lisbon: Would you stop that! It's not your fault. Cho: Well, whose fault is it then? It's mine. I have to accept that. Jane: Ah, actually it's my fault. Okay everyone? My fault. Lisbon: What's done is done. Focus on now. We need to get to Renfrew before Red John does. Where is he now? Who are his friends? What are his options? Jane's cell starts to ring. He goes to his jacket, which is by his desk, fishes it out and answers it. Jane: Hello. Jared: Mr Jane. I just wanted to call and apologise for letting you down. (Jane waves his arm to the others to let them know that he's on the phone with Jared.) Jane: Hello Jared. Cut to Jared sitting in a motel room watching a hooker undressing. As the conversation continues, we cut between Jane looking out of the window at the CBI and Jared in the motel room. Jared: It was dishonourable, I know, but crossing Red John just seems too dangerous. Jane: You've already crossed him. You need our protection. Jared: I haven't given you a thing. Jane: How is he to know that? Jared: Oh, he'll know. He'll know. Like I said, I have friends and they'll put in a good word for me. Jane: Friends. What friends? Who? Jared: Ah. Wouldn't you like to know? Jane: Jared, listen to me. You can't trust them. They're not your friends. Jared: Vaya con Dios, amigo. [He hangs up.] Jane: Jared. [He hangs up.] Damn fool. Red John probably already has his location. Lisbon [turning to Van Pelt]: Did you trace the line? Van Pelt: Yes, I'm tracking the call now. Jane: He's in Tijuana, Mexico, in a motel room with a hooker. Minelli: Because? Jane: He wouldn't call if he didn't think he was out of our reach. I could hear Latin music and sirens and horns and a whole neighbourhood in the background, which suggests thin walls and a city. Hence Tijuana motel room. Lisbon: And the hooker? Jane: He needs to use somebody's phone and he has been in prison for a year, hence the hooker. Van Pelt: The phone belongs to Juana Porfiria Braga, Calle Rojas 65, Tijuana, Mexico. Five arrests on prostitution charges. Let me get a location on the call. Minelli: I'll go reach out to the federal police in Tijuana. [To Rigsby and Cho] You boys come with me. Cho: Yes, sir. Minelli, Cho and Rigsby leave. Lisbon walks up to Jane. Jane: Go ahead, say it. Lisbon: Say what? Jane: You told me, you warned me, you get the privilege of saying 'I told you so'. Lisbon: It's all right. Not now. This isn't over yet. We're gonna find Renfrew and he's gonna tell us what he knows. Van Pelt: Got it. Motel Corona Del Norte. Zoom in on Google Earth map to Motel Corona Del Norte, Paseo de las Aguas 1618,Zona Rio, Tijuana, BC. A local cop breaks in the door. Rigsby and Lisbon come in, gn raised, with Jane behind them. Rigsby turns on the bathroom light, puts away his gn and runs out the motel room. Lisbon approaches next, putting away her gn. We see in the reflection in the mirror that she's seeing a Red John smiley and Jared and the hooker, bloody and dad in the bathtub. There is bloody writing on the wall. She looks shocked and walks away. Jane comes and peers in cautiously. The writing says "He is Mar". He backs away to where Lisbon is standing. The bodies are being carried out in black body bags. Jane and Lisbon are sitting next to each other on the unmade bed. They're not looking at each other. Jane: Well, you can say it now. Lisbon: I don't really feel like saying it. Let me take a rain check on that. Jane: Sure. Lisbon: What do you think it means? Jane: It means Red John is far more powerful than I ever thought. He's been way ahead of me this whole time. Lisbon: I mean the writing on the wall. Jane: Oh. [He looks at her.] I have no idea. [She's looking at him now.] Lisbon: Well, it's a good clue, though, isn't it? Jared was trying to tell us something important. Jane: Maybe. [She touches him on the arm.] Lisbon: Next time. We'll get him. Jane: Next time. [They both looked pained at the idea of a next time.] A cell-phone starts to play a Latin tune. It's the hooker's phone lying on the table. Jane answers and hears breathing. Jane: Hello. A voice laughs evilly on the other end. END.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x11 - Red John's Friends"}	foreverdreaming
Janice: I don't know, but she actually called and said that she'd done it. Rigsby: Anything else you guys hear, let us know, okay? Van Pelt: Thank you. Rigsby: Kid's name's Cody Elkins, 16 years old Reported missing a couple days ago. Turned serious enough to call us when the local policemen found the boy's shoe two streets away in a gutter. Waiting on the D.N.A. We figure it's an abduction, potential homicide, which makes it a CBI case. Van Pelt: The parents are Michael and Janice, both clean. They have another son named Brad, 14. They own a flower shop here. Cho's with 'em now. Lisbon: Let's go. Jane: Think I'll just wait out here. Lisbon: Sure, whatever. Boy: Hey, dude. Jane: Nice bike. You boys gotta be pretty anxious to see something to ride this, huh? You didn't ride a pink bike through town to come to the store, did you? What'd you come to see? Boy: Nothing. Jane: Really? Boy: Let's go, Clyde. Jane: Where's Cody Elkins? Boy: I don't know. Jane: I know you guys know where he is.You don't have to tell me out loud. Just look in the direction. That way? Boy: Why did you do that? Jane: Thank you. Here's your bike. Be safe. Lisbon: Cho's gonna bring the Elkins home. Jane: I have a pretty good idea where Cody Elkins is. Lisbon: Sharing is good. What makes you think it's him? Jane: Because those kids gave it away. Plus they smelled like eucalyptus. Van Pelt: But there's eucalyptus trees all over around here. Jane: Crows. Van Pelt: So? Jane: Crows are carrion birds. They like dad things. Rigsby: Oh, jeez. Poor kid. Van Pelt: What does it mean? Black magic. Sacrifice. Lisbon: But there's no such thing as black magic. Jane: Well, somebody disagrees. Rigsby: We're looking for a mrder wapon. Anything you find, anything at all, tag it and bag it. Thanks, guys. Van Pelt: Wait a second. Elkins' home Lisbon: When did you last see Cody? Michael: Friday night, after the game. Cody plays wide receiver for his high school team. Uh, they got blown out pretty good that night. But, uh, it's a pretty good team this year. It's nationally ranked. Lisbon: When exactly did you see him last on Friday ? Michael: Uh, when he went to bed. We were, all three of us, out early the next morning. When we came back that afternoon, Cody was gone. He was, uh, supposed to meet his coach the next morning for, uh, some extra practice, but he never showed up. Lisbon: And that Friday night, what was his state of mind? Janice: He was fine. Fine. Michael: He was a little upset with himself about the game. He'd, uh, made some mental errors, you know? Coach D. Got on him pretty good. Cody kind of pushed back a little bit, I guess. Lisbon: They had a fight? Michael: You could say. It's nothing serious-locker room stuff, a little shouting. Cody just wanted to do better. Janice: How did he die? Cho: There were indications around the body of some kind of black magic ritual. Now did he have any friends or acquaintances who were involved in that kind of thing? Janice: Oh, my god. It was her. Michael: Of course. Cho: Who's this? Michael: Tamzin Dove. She's into all that black magic crap. Janice: She's... Claims to be a witch. Says she has powers. Lisbon: And did she have some sort of resentment toward Cody? Michael: About a-a week ago, she, uh she claimed that Cody stole her cat. Lisbon: Did he? Janice: No. Of course not. But she put a spell on him in revenge. Jane: A spell? What kind of spell? Janice: I don't know, but she actually called and said that she'd done it. Lisbon: That must have been worrisome. Michael: At the time, Cody thought it was kind of funny. I mean, she's a-a geek, you know? I think that's why we didn't think about her right away. Lisbon: Where can we find Tamzin Dove? Lisbon: [phone] Things are getting weird already. We're off to see a witch. Van Pelt: Oh, be careful. Lisbon: Yeah, yeah. You find anything useful there? Van Pelt: Nothing—no mrder wapon, not a lot of blood. Looks like he was klled elsewhere. M.E. estimates that he died on Saturday morning, The cause being several blows with a heavy, blunt object like a crowbar or a pipe, maybe. Lisbon: Okay, I want you two to go and talk to Cody's football coach. He and the kid had a fight on Friday night. They were supposed to meet up on Saturday morning. Van Pelt: Got it. We got the football bat. Rigsby: Okay. Tamzin Dove's home Cho: Look-a goat. Goats are signs of Satan. Lisbon: So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell? Cho: Very much. Lisbon: Ooh, look, another bad sign. Cho: You shouldn't joke around about this kind of stuff. Lisbon: It doesn't look like anybody's home. Jane: Not much security for a servant of the devil. I could pick that lock with this in about five seconds. Lisbon: We'll wait. Jane: Don't look now, but we should grab one of those kids and talk to 'em. Damn. Lisbon: Are they the same kids from the Elkins shop? Jane: Yes. Coach: Let's see some hustle out there now! It's a tragedy. His whole life ahead of him. Great kid, too. Go, go, go, go, go, go! Vinson, you manatee! Move your lard butt downfield! Great kid. Good values, good habits. Van Pelt: You were supposed to meet with him Saturday morning? Coach: That's right. Right here,9:00 a.m., for some serious fumble prevention reps. He never showed. Rigsby: You and he had serious words Friday night, right? Coach: Yeah,Cody had a shameful game-zero T.D.S, two fumbles and five blown routes— a personal foul that cost us 15 yards. He let himself down and let his team down. That's been his m.o.lately. That's why we were meeting on Saturday morning, to get him back on track. Van Pelt: "shameful"—that's kind of harsh, isn't it? Coach: I run a reality-based program here. If you want to hear malarkey, try the english department. Tillis! I can see you, Tillis! I can see you. Rigsby: What did Cody have to say in reply? Coach: What I discussed with Cody is nobody's business. People have no freakin' idea how it is between a coach and his team. Van Pelt: Oh,we have an idea. Coach: I doubt it. Van Pelt: We looked into your history, Mr. Dieter. Five years ago, you lost a high school coaching job in Oregon for inappropriate physical contact with students. Coach: Wait a minute. You make that sound like I'm a sex molester or somethin'. I smacked a couple of kids because they needed an attitude adjustment. Their pantywaist parents made an issue of it. Rigsby: That's okay then? Coach: It's football. Van Pelt: Actually, that's asault on a minor. Coach: There were no charges filed. Van Pelt: But you had to resign. Coach: No. No, I chose to resign. Rigsby: With a promise to take anger management class. Coach: 36 hours' worth. I did my time. Bored the rage right out of me. Ask all the questions you want. Not trying to hide something here. Rigsby: Good. Coach: We need to search the school gym and the locker rooms. Do whatever you gotta do. Frank! Frank, you need to pull around him, and you need to get upfield. Van Pelt: No, your strong side tackle should do that. He's got the better first set, and your tight end's jumping his route. Rigsby: Hey, quick hands, think fast. ht me. I'm open. Uh,no. What kind of coach's kid are you? Your daddy would be ashamed. Van Pelt: Fine. Go long. Rigsby: Oh, nice! Hey, check this out. Van Pelt: Interesting. Rigsby: Let's get this to forensics. Lisbon [phone]: Okay, boss. Minelli says we can go in. The warrant's on its way. Let's do this. Cho: Bet you can't do it in five... Never mind. Lisbon: What's wrong? Cho: I'll wait out here. Lisbon: Why? Cho: All right, I'll go in, but you first. Tamzin: Hello. Jane: Hello. Tamzin: Welcome. You must be the CBI. Please sit down. Jane: Thank you. Lisbon: Why didn't you just let us in? Tamzin: If I had, I wouldn't have the upper hand, now would it? Lisbon: So you were expecting us. Tamzin: Of course. I heard what was done to Cody Elkins. They used a pentacle and a flame, made it look like witchcraft—wicca. Naturally, you'd come to me. I'm the only witch in town. Lisbon: Those details about that— no, thank you—pentacles, and the candles weren't made public. How did you know about them? Yes, please. Tamzin: Friends. Lisbon: So your friends were involved in Cody's death? Tamzin: No. Jane: Are these friends small with long hair? The big one's name is Clyde? He has a sister with a pink bike? Tamzin: Yes, that's them. Lisbon: You're friends with a lot of kids then. Tamzin: Yes, kids... They like mystery and darkness, and I like kids. Lisbon: What do their parents have to say about that? Tamzin: The kids that come here come because their parents don't give a hoot. But they had nothing to do with Cody's death, nor the pentacle and the candles. Lisbon: What were they doing in the woods, then? Tamzin: Picking herbs for me. Cho: Herbs? Jane: Fenugreek, wild roses, nettles. Tamzin: Please. I make and sell wicca healing powders on the internet. You should check out my web site. Lisbon: Why didn't you tell the police your friends found a body? Tamzin: What for? I knew the earth and the rain and the animals would take care of Cody. You can't help him. Lisbon: It's true. We can't, but what we can do is find and punish the people who mrder him. Tamzin: There's no need. Cody deserved to die. He was a bad person. He stole and tortured and klled my cat. I saw him take it. Lisbon: Why would he do that? Tamzin: Fear, I guess. That's just the way it is with the cowen. They live in fear. Lisbon: The cowen? Tamzin: Those who are not wicca. Those who unbelieves our powers. Lisbon: What powers are you talking about, exactly? Tamzin: A witch is simply a high priestess of the wicca. We worship the horned god and the triple goddess. We're healers mostly, but we have the magic also, when needed— spells and so forth. Jane: Did you put a spell on Cody Elkins? Tamzin: I did. I put a klling spell on him. I'd done the spell several times before, but this is the first time it's worked. Jane: What does the spelling involve? What do you do, exactly? CBI Coach: Why am I here? Rigsby: So you can explain to us why forensics tells us that your blood was found l over a t-shirt we found in Cody's locker. Coach: I told you, we had an argument. Rigsby: Oh, so now you're saying you had an actual fistfight? - You drew blood? Coach: Yeah. It was no big deal. I chewed him out. He got mad. He took a couple of swings at me. Rigsby: Laid out by a kid, huh? Coach: It was a lucky punch. Rigsby: So your own student beats you up, and you don't tell anyone? Coach: It was no big deal. Rigsby: Or maybe you figured you're gonna get even with him the next morning, so best keep it quiet, huh? Coach: No. No. I was too embarrassed. People don't know the kid is a freaking nut bag. Makes me look bad either way, so I just pretended it didn't happen. Van Pelt: He ht you first— his own coach? Coach: I told you a nut bag. Rigsby: Well, that's not what we've heard. Coach: Ask Daniel Brown. He's a good friend of Cody's. Last month Cody got mad over a card game or something. bat Danno unconscious. Had to be dragged off of him. I don't know why Danno didn't press charges. Van Pelt: Daniel Brown? Coach: Yeah. Tamzin Dove's home Tamzin: klling spells are secret, but this is a public binding spell that I can show you, and it's similar. What is your name? Cho: What's it to you? Jane: Kimball Cho. Tamzin: God and goddess, hear me. By light of the one flame, let this mortal soul, Kimball Cho, be bound by my power. So that he knows I speak truth, let him behold the king of beasts and kneel before him. Cho: Come on. Lisbon: That's it? That's your spell? You're not gonna make him drink a potion or anything like that? Tamzin: Doesn't look like much, does it? But it's very powerful magic. Lisbon: Yeah, okay. Unfortunately it seems that one of your friends helped your magic along with a blunt instrument. In which case, you're as unmagically guilty as they are. Tamzin: If a friend of mine had done this, They wouldn't have pointed the police right to me with a pentacle and flame. No, Cody's mrder was staged to look like wicca. Any fool in this town would think of it. It's obvious misdirection. There's a witch in town. Duh. Lisbon: A witch that put a klling spell on the boy in question. Tamzin: Exactly. It's perfect. Lisbon: Thank you for your time. Jane: Thank you. Cho? Kimball Cho, let's go. Jane: Didn't want to bring her in? Lisbon: You don't think she did this, do you? Jane: Oh,s he's deep in it somehow— hiding something or someone. Lisbon: I agree. I'd bring her in, but on what charges? She's a whack job. She enjoys the attention. Quicker and more effective to just ignore her and let her come to us. Jane: That's very astute psychology, Lisbon. I'm impressed. Cho: Hey, why'd you give her my name? She said I was gonna kneel before the lord of beasts. What does that even mean? Jane: What? Oh, come on. You're not telling me you believe she's an actual witch. Cho: No, of course not. But I mean, if dark forces did exist, it stands to reason there could be people who control them for their own ends. Jane: They're called investment bankers. They don't live around here, I assure you. Relax. No such thing as witches. Cho: Yeah, that's easy for you to say. Weird witch lady didn't burn you in effigy and bind you to her power. Cho: "Kimball," she says, "you shall kneel before the lord of beasts." Rigsby: That's scary. Cho: Yeah. Rigsby: Yeah ,if you're a 12-year-old girl at her first sleep away camp. Cho: You had to be there. Rigsby: Don't sweat it, man. Met this girl in college. She said she was a witch. It's not a satanic cult. They're just nerds in cloaks. Cho: Hey, there he is. Rigsby: Daniel Brown? Cho: We've got some questions about Cody Elkins. Daniel: No! Let me go! Cho: Hello to beast. - Let me see your hands. Daniel: Let me go! Rigsby: Come on. Cho: The spell was real. CBI Rigsby: Let's go. Dan active your fight with Cody Elkins. Daniel: What fight? There was no fight. Rigsby: No? He bat you unconscious is what we heard. Put you in the hospital. We have witnesses. Daniel: Who? Nah, it wasn't that bad. Rigsby: T you in the hospital? Daniel: Yeah, for a couple of hours. It was observation. Rigsby: So why didn't you press charges? Daniel: It was a misunderstanding between friends. Nobody's fault. Jane: Oh, I want to get in there. Cho: Go in there. Jane: Just... I'm just... Rigsby: Or perhaps you figured you'd take revenge more... directly? Daniel: Nah. Rigsby: How did the fight start, Daniel? Daniel: Over at Roy T. 'S place playing cards, drinkin'. His mom's in rehab. So he's got the run of the place. I did some trash-talkin'. Cody got mad. We fought. He won. That's all. Jane: I'm going in. Rigsby, uh, you— do you mind if I... Rigsby: No, do your thing, man. Jane: Thanks. I'm Patrick. You must be... Daniel: Daniel. Jane: All right, Daniel? Can I keep your hand? Thanks. Nothing strange. I want you to breathe... And look right here. What did you say that angered Cody? Daniel: It was a card game. A lot of trash-talking. So I was tripping on his family like, "your mom's a ho. Dad's a punk bitch." Jane: Keep it over here. Just relax and keep it right up in here. Daniel: I'm lookin' at you, man. Jane: Good. Daniel: Anyway, Cody goes off. Bam. Smashes a beer bottle over my head. No warning. I mean, I'm out cold, but... But the guys tell me he tried to seriously stomp me out. And if they hadn't grabbed him, I could be dad. Jane: How much did the Elkins pay you for your silence? Daniel: Nothing. Jane: Want to try that again? Daniel: 1000. Elkins' home Cho: You have to admit it's uncanny. The lord of beasts? Jane: Coincidence. Cho: Please. What are the chances? Jane: Million to one. Cho: There you go. Jane: Life is a million to one. The universe is one big coincidence. Cosmically improbable coincidences— they happen all the time. We just don't notice 'em. Cho: Or she's a witch. Jane: Or she's a witch. Michael: Is she in custody— the witch? Cho: No, sir. Janice: Why not? Jane: She did put a spell on your son, like you said. You're right. But that doesn't constitute a criminal offense. That's protected free speech. Janice: So why are you here? Cho: It seems Cody had some volence issues that we need to speak about. Janice: No. He was a good boy. Cho: Oh, we're not saying otherwise, ma'am. But if he had problems with his temper, that might help explain the context leading to his death. Michael: Context? In a pig's ear. You're trying to blame Cody for his own death. Jane: I have a question. It's always bothered me. Why do they call it football? People don't really use their feet much, do they? Michael: Are you trying to be rude or disrespectful or what? Jane: Could I use your bathroom, please? Janice: Down the hall to your left. Jane: Thanks. Michael: What's his problem? Cho: Sorry about that. Do you know a boy named Daniel Brown? No. Janice: Michael... Michael: Fine. I see where this is going. Daniel and Cody had a fight. Jane: There you are. Brad: Go away. Jane: I can't. I wish I could. It's my job to hound people until I get the truth. Brad: Yeah, well, uh, good luck with that. Jane: Nice place. Must be tough being Cody Elkins' little brother. Brad: No. Well... Sometimes. Jane: Me? I'd hate it. He gets all the attention, the glory, the girls flocking around— for what? For running and jumping and catching a-a thing? Brad: Yeah, monkeys could do that. Jane: Yeah. Monkeys could do it better. Yeah, you know, if monkeys played football, they would kick some serious jock butt. Michael: All right, I admit it. I gave Daniel Brown money to, uh, to keep him quiet. Cody has a... Had... a real sht at a college career. Would have been the first Elkins to have that chance, and we were so proud. But you gotta understand. A coach hears about these kinds of run-ins, and it would have ruined his chances at one of the top schools. Cho: Had these run-ins ever happened before? - No. Michael: No, our son had no problem with volence. Janice: It was an isolated incident. Michael: Where's your friend? Cho: I don't know. Jane: How come Cody klled Tamzin Dove's cat? Brad: I- I don't know that he did that. Jane: She saw him take it. Brad: Well, look, she-she saw what she saw, right? All right? I-i don't know. Um, if—if he did do it... You know, k-kll the cat... Do you think he deserved to die? Jane: Do you? Brad: I'm asking you. Michael: You don't speak to my son without my permission. Jane: Well, that's a little weird and controlling, but okay. Do you mind if I speak to your son, Mr. Elkins? Michael: Yes, I do mind. Jane: I asked. See you around, Brad. Rigsby: Oh, my god. Where's my food? What is this? Van Pelt: That is healthy and nutritious snacking. Rigsby: I'm gonna die. Seriously, I'm allergic to carrots. Van Pelt: Well, I'm tired of the car reeking like fast food. It's like working with a caterpillar... Rigsby: I can't even be in the same room as a carrot. I go into anaphylactic sho— Van Pelt: funny. That's enough. Rigsby, come on. Look, look, look, look. There he is. He's leaving. CBI Lisbon: Why won't this damn thing log in? [phone] Lisbon. Oh, good, Van Pelt. How do I get on to the— Van Pelt: We just followed the kid to the witch's house. Lisbon: Is she with him? Van Pelt: He just went inside. They hugged. Lisbon: Brad Elkins is at Tamzin Dove's. He hugged her and then went inside. Jane: Interesting. They should wait ten minutes, then go in. Lisbon: Why wait? Jane: Let the plot develop. Let the fruit ripen. Let the yeast rise, etcetera. Lisbon: What if he means to do her harm? Jane: Well, if he was gonna do that, he'd have done it by now. Lisbon: Wait ten minutes, then go in. Van Pelt: Okay, boss. Rigsby: Well? Van Pelt: We wait ten minutes, then we go in. And personally, I don't care if we wait all night. Witchcraft creeps me out. Rigsby: It doesn't bother me. Nerds in cloaks. Van Pelt: There's more to it than that. Rigsby: Ah, it's just a silly alternative lifestyle, like "star trek" or yoga. Van Pelt: I do yoga. Tamzin's home All: By blood, has he been sullied. By blood, let him be cleansed. By blood, has he been sullied. By blood, let him be cleansed. By blood, has he been sullied. By blood, let him be cleansed. By blood, has he been sullied. By blood, let him be cleansed. By blood, has he been sullied. By blood, let him be cleansed. By blood, has he been sullied. By blood, let him be cleansed. By blood, has he been sullied. By blood, let him be cleansed. By blood, has he been sullied. By blood, let him be cleansed. Rigsby: Hear that? Van Pelt: What is that? All: By blood, let him be cleansed. Rigsby: Not yoga. Rigsby / Van Pelt: Police, freeze! Everybody stay where you are! Stay where you are! - Everybody stay where you are! - Drop the Knfe. - Drop the Knfe. Van Pelt: Brad, we're CBI. You all right? Rigsby: Come on. Let's go. Let's go back. Let's go. Brad: What? No! What—what's wrong with you people, huh? Why can't you just leave me alone? Rigsby: Come on, Brad. Tamzin: Stay calm, Brad. Be patient with the ways of the cowen. Van Pelt: Everybody just stay where you are. CBI Jane: TAMZIN DOVE. I like it. These files say your real name is Sarah Jones from New Jersey. Your mother committed su1c1de when you were 16. You don't know who your father is. You're a college dropout. You have a history of mild psychiatric problems, and you served six months for shoplifting a few years back. Tamzin: Sarah Jones is dad. I'm Tamzin Dove. I am a priestess of wicca. You can't hurt me. Jane: Oh, I don't want to hurt you. I imagine there's been enough of that. I want to help you. This is a mrder investigation, so one way or another, you're looking at trouble. Tamzin: The goddess will protect me. Jane: Tamzin, the goddess may give you solace and hope and meaning in your life, but she can't protect you from those police out there. Tamzin: Brad's been an apprentice of my coven since last autumn equinox. There's no crime in that. Jane: Kind of young to be a witch, isn't it? Tamzin: We're all born witch. We're all born into magic. It's taken from us as we grow up. Jane: Interesting, if true. How did Brad's parents feel about this new direction in his life? Tamzin: Brad's parents just... really hate witches for some reason. I mean, like, more than most. About a month ago his mom thrat to kll me if I ever spoke to him again. Jane: But you did. Tamzin: Brad came to me of his own free will. He was drawn to wicca. I couldn't turn him away. Jane: How does he feel about the spell you put on his brother? Tamzin: He's at peace with it. That's why we were conducting the cleansing ritual. Brad knows the difference between the world of magic and the real world. He understands I didn't kll his brother. Rigsby: Maybe because in the real world, Brad did it. Lisbon: What have you got? Rigsby: Brad's been hospitalized twice in the last year. Both times the accident report lists the cause as "roughhousing with brother." Think maybe Brad had enough? Everybody has a limit. Jane: I have to go. Brad: Me? No! W-why would I kll my own brother? Lisbon: So he would stop hurting you. Brad: Yeah, but he never hurt me. Ever! Lisbon: He put you in the hospital twice. Brad: Accidents. They-they were accidents. So? Jane: So he did hurt you. It was just—it was accidentally. Brad: Yeah. I- I mean no. Yeah. Jane: He hated that you were friends with Tamzin, didn't he? Brad: Yes. Jane: But you never gave her up. Why? Brad: I feel safe there. Cho: Sorry. Can I have a minute? Jane: We'll be right back. Cho: The parents are here. You want me to hold 'em off? Lisbon: Yeah. Wait. No. Let Brad go with them until we get some hard evidence to bear down on them. Jane: Yes, but let me talk to them first. Lisbon: Please have a seat. Michael: I don't see why you had to drag him all the way down here. Lisbon: We're sorry for any inconvenience. Jane: Strange that neither of you told us about the connection with Tamzin Dove. Janice: We were... confused, to be honest with you. We don't understand Brad's obsession with witchcraft. We want to understand, and we're trying, but it's... It's disturbing and, uh, a little embarrassing, to tell you the truth. Michael: We're in this together, right? We're gonna get help. Nowadays there's, uh, therapy for these kinds of problems, right? We'll get through this. Janice: Have you charged that, uh, woman? Lisbon: No. Janice: No? I mean, isn't it obvious that she did it— her, one of her weirdo friends? I mean— Lisbon: she's helping us with our inquiries. Jane: She swears she's innocent, so we're having her put a spell of revelation on the mrder wapon. Janice: A spell of revelation? Jane: Witches have the power of telekinesis. She says that she has a spell which will raise the wapon from wherever it's being concealed and reveal itself to us. Michael: And you believe this evil crap? Jane: Well, you never can tell. We're gonna give it a whirl. Janice: That's insane. Jane: Her last spell seemed to work pretty well. Janice: How could you be so cold? Jane: Practice. Lisbon: I apologize. Brad is free to go. Janice: Let's go. Michael: Come on, son. Jane: See you, Brad. Well, look after yourself, and if I were you, I'd stay very clear of Brad Elkins for a while. Tamzin: I'll do as the goddess tells me. Jane: Whatever. Oh, listen, next time you speak to her, could you, uh, put a good word in for me? Tamzin: I will. Jane: Thanks. Cho: Hey, I thought you were gonna have her cast a spell to find the mrder wapon. Jane: Oh, the spell's already cast. Cho: When did she cast it? Jane: She didn't. I did. Cho: You can cast spells? Jane: Cho, there's no such thing as spells. Cho: I know that. Jane: He, uh, really is quite freaked out about this witchcraft malarkey, isn't he? Lisbon: Uh, yeah. Jane: We're gonna need to work a double shift on the stakeout tonight. Lisbon: Are you at least gonna tell me what's going on? Jane: Oh, come on. You're telling me you don't know what's going on? You don't know who did th and why? Lisbon: No, but you're gonna tell me. Jane: How about I show you? Lisbon: Here we go. Jane: Better call Cho. Lisbon: You're not going anywhere. Put it down. Jane: This is god speaking. You made me angry, Michael. Very angry. - And you're under arr- Lisbon: that's enough. Jane: Arrest. CBI Jane: Amazing, isn't it? The mrder wapon revealed. Tamzin's spells seem to work. I guess she really is a witch. Michael: I don't know what you're talking about. Lisbon: I'm sure forensics will confirm your son's blood And tissue on one side of the wrench and your fingerprints on the other. Michael: I have no knowledge of that. Lisbon: Then why were you trying to hide it? Talk to us, Michael. Maybe there were circumstances. Maybe you had to defend yourself. Michael: I don't have to tell you anything. Lisbon: What about your sons' trips to the emergency room— their broken bones? Michael: Just clumsy, I guess. Maybe a little dense at times. Jane: Good that they had you to keep 'em in line, huh? Some people just don't understand how lucky they are. Michael: That's right. Jane: I realized it was you when Brad said he liked going to Tamzin's house because he felt safe there. Safe—he feels safer at a witch's house than they do at home. You've been abusing and beating your wife and sons for years, haven't you? Michael: No. Jane: My guess? You were smackin' Brad around a little too much. Cody wanted to protect his brother. Was that it? Michael: No. Jane: "no," he says. Your wife and son are down the hallway, and they say no, too. They know we caught him throwing away the mrder wapon, and they still don't believe he klled Cody. Imagine how much they love this man to be in such denial. Cody confronted you, didn't he? He wouldn't put up with your crap anymore... Flashback **** Michael: Come on! **** Jane: But you wouldn't hear of it. Michael He h*t me. I was defending myself. Jane: Good-bye, Michael. Jane: Morning. Van Pelt: What are you doing? Jane: Ah, just a little favor for Cho. Jane (to Cho): Uh, Tamzin Dove told me to give you this. She said to keep it in a safe place.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x12 - Red Rum"}	foreverdreaming
Outside CBI. Jane is coming in his car. He stops to show his badge. Jane: Hey, Tommy. Tommy: Hey. Good morning, Mr. Jane. You're all set. Jane: Have a good one. Tommy: You, too. Have a good one. Jane parks his car and get out of it. He starts walking and he sees Van Pelt talking to a guy next to the coffee cart. He smiles. Inside CBI. Cho and Rigsby are getting out from Lisbon's office with files in hands. Van Pelts arrive. Van Pelt: Good morning everybody. Cho: What's so good about it? Lisbon: Here, have a file. The division's being audited again. Van Pelt: No problem. Let me just put milk in this, and I'll dig in. Cho: "No problem." What's with her? Rigsby: You mean, why isn't she cynical and jaded like you? Jane: Notice her relaxed body language? The general sense of emotional satisfaction. Rigsby: Yeah. Jane: Someone's engaged her romantic interest. Rigsby: Who? Jane: Well, I couldn't say. Rigsby: Nah, she's focused on her work,that's all. Jane: Well, then I have to assume that the man that kissed her outside was making an embarrassing mistake. Rigsby: Hmm? What? Who kissed her? Jane: Uh, I didn't catch his name. Rigsby: Ah, it's probably that knucklehead from payroll. He's been stalking her like a chicken. What did this man look like? Jane's phone rings. He takes it and read the text he received. Jane: Lisbon ! Cho: How do you stalk a chicken? Rigsby: You know what I'm talking about. Lisbon: "There's a very large bmb nearby. Are you smart enough to find it?" Outside CBI. Everyone is getting out of the building. Minelli, Lisbon and Jane are talking. Minelli: Another bmb thrat.That's the third this year. Jane: Not on my phone, it isn't. Minelli: Well, granted, they don't usually come through CBI. But that's what the drills are for. Jane: The text read, "Are you smart enough to find it?" I think this was directed at me. Lisbon: Of course you think this is about you. Just relax. It could be a hoax. Jane: It could be. Minelli: Where is the bmb squad? Lisbon: They're on their way now. P.D. did an initial sweep of the building. So far,they haven't found anything. Jane: "Are you smart enough to find it?" Minelli: Okay, listen, if this really is about Jane, I don't want him just... I...Hey ! Lisbon: Jane ! Jane, stop right there ! Minelli's phone rings. Minelli(on the phone): Minelli. Yes, sir. Lisbon(following Jane): Jane ! Minelli: Let me explain what happened. Jane got a text on his phone. CBI Parking lot Jane: The text said, "A very large bmb." A large bmb can only be transported in a large car. They didn't say inside CBI. They said nearby. Ergo, the parking lot. Simple. Lisbon: Exactly. They challenged you to an easy puzzle. They want you to find the bmb. Jane(looking through a car's window): If there is a bmb. It could be just a hoax, like you said. Lisbon's phone rings. She answers it while Jane is still looking into cars. Lisbon: Yes sir. I'll have him back in a minute. I'm trying, sir. I assure you he understands the situation. Jane: Hey ! Lisbon ! Found it ! Lisbon: Oh,no. Jane(hitting the window with his hands): sh*t it out! Shout it out with your gn! Lisbon: I... I can't! There's no time! Come on! Jane, come on, let's go! Come on, run, Jane! Jane, run ! I mean it, come on ! Jane! Come on ! Run ! Come on ! The van explodes. Jane is project in the air by the bmb's blast. Jane: I'm okay. Lisbon: You all right? Jane: I'm okay, I'm okay. Lisbon: Okay.. Okay. Jane: I'm fine. Lisbon: I'm gonna get you... I need an ambulance now ! Jane: No, no ambulance. I just got something in my eyes. Aaah ! Ah ! I can't see. I can't see! Opening Credits Jane's hospital room. Jane is in a bed. There are a doctor and Lisbon in the room. Doctor: You're a lucky man, Mr. Jane. This could have been much worse. Jane: Yes, that's what people keep telling me. But why is it I can't see, doctor? Doctor: Well,there's a moderate concussion with some short-term memory loss, disorientation, headache, and of course, fleeting blindness. It's most likely due to small floating blood clots in the vessels around the eyes,demonstrating a C.V.I. or cortical visual impairment. Lisbon: How long will his vision be affected? Doctor: Well, it's hard to say, really. The body's healing powers are unpredictable, but 48 to 72 hours is the normal. We must wait and see, so to speak. Jane: Huh. Humor. Great. Everybody loves a witty doctor in times of trouble. You know, I've heard enough. Do you think you can take this conversation outside, please? Doctor: Mr. Jane, this is temporary. Your sight will return and you'll be back to work, but it's gonna take time and patience. Jane: Well, time I have, but patience I lost a while ago. Doctor: You're alive. Appreciate it. Jane: Oh, I do. Believe me, I do. Doctor: Now if you'll excuse me, I'll check in again later. Lisbon: Thank you, doctor. She leaves. Lisbon pinches Jane: Jane: Ow ! Lisbon: I'll do worse if you don't stop mouthing off to people who are trying to help you. Jane: You pinched me. Cho(who just came in the room): How is he? Lisbon: Guess what. He's a bad patient. Cho: Who would've thought? Jane: I'm not a bad patient. She's a bad visitor. Lisbon: What'd you find out? Cho: The victim is james medina, 44, stockbroker, out of highlands. The van wasn't his. It was reported stolen yesterday. We're digging up everything we can on Medina. The question is it possible he was on some bizarre su1c1de mission? Jane: No. I looked in his eyes. That was very much a man who didn't want to be where he was. Whoever did this wanted me to watch James Medina die in terror. Cho: They nearly klled you, too Jane: Well, that wasn't the intention,though. Lisbon: Well, what then? Jane: "You're next" was written on the man's forehead. Lisbon: Why? Jane: I don't know why. Lisbon: You're gonna be fine. Jane: Yeah, probably. Lisbon: We're gonna find who did this. Jane: Good. Cho and Lisbon look at each other. Jane: Oh, please don't look at each other like that. Lisbon: Like what? You can't see. Jane: I can feel. I can feel your pity. Lisbon: Oh, please. Would you stop? We'll be back. Cho: Later, man. Outside Medina's house. Cho and Rigsby are waiting while Mrs Medina is talking to another woman. Mrs.Medina: Thank you,Rosie. Rose: Sure. Mrs.Medina: Allrighty, you two. I love you. You be good with your auntie Rose now, okay? Promise? See you. Medina's daughter: Bye Mom. Mrs.Medina: Bye. Cho: Sweet kids. Mrs.Medina: Thank you. Jim loved them very much. Rigsby: I'm sorry, Mrs. Medina, but we have to ask you a couple questions about your husband. Cho: He didn't seem preoccupied, trouble by anything unusual? Mrs.Medina: Preoccupied, yes, but there's nothing unusual about that. My husband was a stockbroker, and nowadays, that's like being a professional gambler. Cho: What about your personal finances? Mrs.Medina: I never let Jim put all our money into the stock market. Rigsby: Did he ever mention any particular client being unhappy? Mrs.Medina: Do you know how much clients have lost their money in the last six months? A lot of people are angry,and they blame their brokers. Jim's received hate mail, phone calls, e-mails. Rigsby: Any specific thrat? Did he ever mention names? Mrs.Medina: There was an ex-coworker,Terry Andrews. He came by the house a few times. He was very thrat. Cho: Thank you. Inside CBI. Van Pelt: Terence Carter Andrews, 46 years old, worked for two years at Lynch-halstead in the junior trader program. Tax records indicate that he also worked as a guard for several security companies. That cover the state capitol system. Lisbon: He was a state house employee? He worked here? Van Pelt: That's what it says. He also has a rap sheet on him. Domestic volence and two d.u.i.s. Lisbon: This is him? Cho: Where is he working now? Van Pelt: Guest relations manager at something called Hype. Outside Hype Man: You, little Miss fierce, can come in. Lose the backup dancer. He's too, too butch. Lisbon(showing her badge): Get lost, fluffy. Are you Terence Andrews? Terence Andrews: What do you guys want? Lisbon: Do people call you Terry or Terence? Terence: They call me Mr.Andrews. Lisbon: Someone klled James Medina today. Thoughts? Terence: Yeah. I'd like to buy whoever did it a nice bottle of French brandy. Rigsby: Flat-out hated him, huh? Terence: Yeah. Yeah, I did. What, you think I had something to do with it? Rigsby: Yeah, it crossed our minds. Lisbon: Why don't you come downtown with us, answer a few questions? Terence: No, I don't think so. You know why? Because I didn't do it. Rigsby: Come on, man. Let's go. Terence(pushing Rigsby): Get off me ! Now you want some,too? Lisbon: No, thank you. She takes her taser and shock him. Terence: Ooooh! Rigsby: Okay, everybody step back. Give him some air. Fun's over. Lisbon: Are you okay, Mr. Andrews? Inside CBI Jane arrives helped by an officer. Van Pelt sees him. Van Pelt: Hey, aren't you supposed to be in the hospital? Jane: Nope. Van Pelt: Yes, you are. Jane: No, they've had enough of me. Can't say I blame 'em. Officer Powell here was kind enough to give me a ride back. Van Pelt: Thank you. I guess. Van Pelt's phone rings. Officer Powell: Have a good one, Mr.Jane. He leaves Jane: Yeah. Go ahead. Talk to your boyfriend. I don't mind. Van Pelt: Shush. Jane: Why are you embarrassed? Van Pelt: I'm not. Lisbon: What the hell...? Jane: Oh, doctor's orders. She said it was the best thing for me to do-get back to work. Lisbon: She did not. She said you insulted the entire ward and were a complete pain in the ass. Jane: Meeh. So? Lisbon: So you can't do that. Jane: Well, what was I supposed to do, just sit there and listen to television? Besides, the food was terrible. Lisbon: You need the rest. Jane: I need to work. Lisbon: You're blind. Jane: No problem, honestly. My other senses are heightened. They're super heightened. I'm like Daredevil. Now if you'll excuse me... Lisbon: Okay. Jane: Okay. He walks away and hits a pole with his stick. Jane: Ah. Heightened. Interrogation Room Rigsby questions Terence. Rigsby: Where were you yesterday morning? Terence: My shift at the club ended at 3:30. I went back to my place, watched a little bit of TV. Then I went to bed. I slept till about 11:00 or so. Rigsby: Anyone who can vouch for that time frame? Terence: No. I live alone, on account of my lady walked out on me when I lost my job. Jane arrives in the room. Jane: Sorry. Don't mind me. Rigsby: Jane? Terence: What is this? What is this? He's blind. Rigsby: Yeah. Uh, sorry. Jane: Cool, huh? Ahem. Yeah, so, uh, did you kll James Medina? Terence: Did I kll James Medina? Screw him. I didn't kll him. I could have and I wanted to, but I didn't. Jane smells the room. Terence: What are you doing? Jane: Have we ever met before? Terence: No. Jane: So what happened? Why did you and Mefina fight in the first place? Terence: I was a junior trader in the company's program. And he had been picking on me for months. I took a job his nephew wanted. Anyway, a freakin' envelope falls off his desk. "Pick it up," he said. Like that, "Pick it up." I don't think so. "Pick it up your own damn self," I said. Big deal. But I guess he figures I'm just, you know,(he snaps his fingers which seems to annoy Jane) I'm gonna snap my fingers and totally just ruin this dude's life. Jane: Can I hold your hand? Terence agrees so Jane takes his hand. Jane: Artistic fingers. Soft. Terence: Don't do that. Jane: Nice to talk with you,Terry. Be well. You can let him go. Rigsby: Uh, that's, uh, not your call. Jane: Well, I didn't say you must let him go. I said that you can, if you want. Being that he's innocent. Terence: Thank you. The door slams open and we see Lisbon. Lisbon: Jane? Jane: Whoa. Oh, that was loud. That scared me. CBI corridor Lisbon: How many times do I have to tell you to stop interrupting interviews like that? Jane: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh. Just a minute. Lisbon: What are you doing? Jane: How will I know if I can see or not if I have bandages on? Ow. Here goes. Lisbon: Well? Jane: Black as night. Lisbon: I'm sorry. Jane: Never mind. Andrews didn't do it. Lisbon: Did you sense that with your superpowers? Jane: Yes, I did. Uh, he's filled with anger, but, uh, not fearful, guilty, mrder anger. That has a tang of ammonia about it. His is a more clean, righteous anger, lemony. Lisbon: Lemony? Jane: This blind thing really works. Without my vision, I can tune into my other senses much more clearly. That's great. Lisbon: Let me go make you a superhero costume. What do you wanna be called? Jane touches Lisbon's face. Lisbon: What are you doing? Jane: I wanna know what your face feels like when you're smiling. Rigsby: Uh, so what's the deal, boss? Lisbon: Have forensics check him for any explsives residue. If he comes up clean, let him go. Rigsby: Will do. Jane: I'm still convinced there's a connection between Medina and me, so before you make me that superhero costume I'm looking forward to, could you take me to visit with his widow? Lisbon: Maybe. Jane: Thank you. And incidentally, you're smelling particularly good today.(Lisbon walks away and goes to her office) Is that cinnamon in the mix there somewhere? Lisbon? He searches Lisbon with his hands but she's gone. Inside Medina's house Jane, Lisbon and Mrs.Medina are in the kitchen. Mrs.Medina: Your tea is right in front of you, Mr.Jane Jane: Ah, thank you. Mrs.Medina: You're welcome. Lisbon: Mrs. Medina, we don't mean to keep you from your family. We just have a few more questions to ask you. Mrs.Medina: I understand. I'm... happy to help. Jane: I can feel what a warm,caring home this is. I'm very sorry for your loss. I think whoever did this was targeting your husband and me also. I don't know why, but something links us. I have to ask,have we ever met before? Mrs.Medina: Not that I know of. Jane: Would it be a terrible inconvenience to show me some of your husband's personal things? Jewelry, anything he used a lot. Mrs.Medina: Sure. I guess. Why? Jane: Holding something of James' would help me pick up a feel for him, get a sense of his being. Mrs.Medina: Okay. Excuse me. Jane: Thank you. She leaves Lisbon: A sense of his being? What are you playing at? Jane: Just go with it. I have to practice this touchy-feely stuff. It's been a while. Lisbon: You're not gonna be blind forever. Jane: No, right, 'cause bad stuff like this doesn't happen nearly as often as people think it does. They are now in the living room. Jane has got glasses in his hands. Jane: Bifocals. Mrs.Medina: Mm-hmm. Jim couldn't read without them. He was considering surgery, but I liked the way he looked in his glasses. He held off because of me. Jane puts the glasses away and takes something which seems to be a brooch. Jane: Did he like horses? Mrs.Medina: We liked to ride together. We were planning to take a trip up the coast this fall. Jane takes a watch. Jane: This feels expensive. Mrs.Medina: Uh,yes. He only wore that to business functions. Jane: There's a jewel with an engraving on the back. What is that engraving? Mrs.Medina: It's a bull. It was a company gift from Lynch-Halstead. A little too much bling for Jim's everyday taste. Jane has got a flash back. We see him talking with a woman. Lisbon(a little worried): Jane? Jane(upset): Well, uh, thank you for your time, Mrs. Medina. Inside CBI Jane: The watch I recalled was the exact same. It had the same engraving on the back as James Medina's and his was from Lynch-Halstead.(to Lisbon who helped him to reach the couch) Thank you. Uh... So, years ago, I must've done a psychic reading for someone else connected to the firm. Cho: You don't know who? Jane: I can't remember. I tried to see the woman's face, recall her name. I... I just can't do it. Van Pelt: But she paid you and was hurt so badly she's still holding a grudge. Jane: Well, probably. Rigsby: The man's blind. Go easy, maybe. Van Pelt: Sorry. Jane: Oh, it's okay. You're fine. Lisbon: Did you keep a record of all your customers or clients or whatever you called them? Van Pelt's phone rings. She smiles. Rigsby looks jealous. Jane: Yeah, I had to. I had to keep track of all the lies I'd already told them. Lisbon: Oh, where are they? Jane: Uh, probably on a disk in my boxes over there, I expect. He almost ht Lisbon's head with his stick when he showed where the record could be. Lisbon: Van Pelt, why don't you help Jane find his records? Van Pelt immediatly stops smiling and put her phone away. Jane: Oh, first, could someone please make me a cup of tea? Cho, Van Pelt and Lisbon walks away. Rigsby stays here looking around. Jane: Is that a yes?(he smells the room then smiles) Rigsby. CBI kitchen Rigsby throws the tea bag in the sink and puts the cup of tea in front of Jane who is sitting at the table. Jane: Thank you. He takes a sip of tea to taste. Rigsby is looking at Jane hopefully. Jane: Did you put the milk in... Rigsby: Milk in first. Yep. Just like you asked. Jane: You sure the water boiled... Rigsby: It was truly boiling? Yep. Jane takes another sip. Jane: Tastes weird. Rigsby: Tastes weird? He looks a little disapointed because Jane doesn't like his tea. Rigsby: Jane, I need to ask you a favor. I need you to, uh... I need to you find out from VanPelt about this guy she's dating. You know, what's the score? Jane: The score? Rigsby: Is it serious? Are they, uh, you know? Jane: Ask her yourself. Rigsby: Yeah, right. No. Come on. You know the situation. It's against the rules- relationships between coworkers. Jane: What are you, a man or a mouse? Rigsby: Well, a man, obviously. Jane: Could've fooled me. Rigsby: If it's that guy from payroll, I will kll him. Jane: Well, that would be a strong, romantic statement. Women like a man that would kll for them. Hey, Van Pelt ! Rigsby: Don't ! Jane: What? Rigsby: Oh No. Jane: Trust me. Honesty's better. Rigsby: No. Van Pelt: What's up? Jane: Grace, personal question. Rigsby and I were wondering, uh...who is this man you were kissing by the coffee cart? Van Pelt: That's... That's none of your business. Jane: Not from payroll? Van Pelt: Payroll? No, he doesn't even work here. It's none of your business. She walks away angry. Jane: Well, thank heavens for that, at least. No klling needed. Huh. Rigsby: Don't be so sure. Jane: You'll see. Honesty's best. Rigsby: Yeah, well, honestly, I'd like to kick your butt right now. Jane thinks for a second. Jane: I'll take you. But could you take me to my couch first, please? Rigsby: Yes. Jane: Thank you. Rigsby: Give me your arm. Get the tape off. Jane: Yep. Rigsby: Here's the couch. Jane: All right babe. You're very good at this. Thank you. Thanks for your lovely tea. Van Pelt(searching in a box): That was cruel. Why did you do that? Jane: Oh, it's this blindness nuisance. It makes me mean. I'm... I'm sorry. But you two do need to talk. Van Pelt: There's nothing to talk about. Is this it? She shows him a CD. Jane: Uh... Van Pelt: Sorry. Uh, a white cd with "R.P.B." written on it in black? Jane: Could be. You have a lot to talk about. Van Pelt: Like what? Jane: Is it serious, you and coffee cart man? Van Pelt(putting the CD in the computer): It's too early to tell. Jane: I'd like to meet him. What floor does he work on? Van Pelt: He doesn't. He's a lawyer. Jane: Ah. Van Pelt: He was just visiting. And no offense, but why does my personal life have any concern to you... or Rigsby, for that matter? Jane: Well, me... I'm just nosy. But Rigsby... He loves you. He's just scared of emotional commitment. And you're attracted to him, but you're deeply repressed and emotionally shut down. Van Pelt: Oh, is that right? Jane: Because of a trauma in your past that you've never spoken of to anyone, ever, even yourself. There's a silence Jane: Sorry. I was just thinking out loud. Van Pelt: What? I wasn't listening. Jane: What's his name? Van Pelt: Dan. Jane: Dan? Can I meet him? Van Pelt: If you like. Jane: I would. Van Pelt: Here's your client list. I'll run it against the Lynch-Halstead records. One match. You both shared a client a long time ago... Carol Gentry? Jane: Carol Gentry... Flash-Back Jane Residence, Malibu, eights years earlier Jane: She forgives you, Carol. Your mother truly forgives you. Carol Gentry: I don't understand, Mr. Jane. She forgives me? Jane: Yes. That's what she says. And I believe it to be sincere. Carol: She was a vicious,evil,abusive woman, But I loved her and cared for her like a good daughter. What did I ever do that she should forgive me for? Jane: It's a hard truth,Carol, that people don't change when they pass on. They simply become the essence of who they are. Your mother was a very complicated woman... Carol: She forgives me? That lunatic bitch forgives me? Jane: People are very complicated. Aren't they? I'm afraid that's all we have time for this week, Carol. Carol: Oh. Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry. I just... Jane: It's okay. Just breathe. We'll talk more about this next time, shall we? Carol: Yeah. Jane: Okay. Carol: Okay.(she gives him a check) Thank you, Mr. Jane. Jane: Thank you. She leaves. Jane takes some water and then he throws it away. End Flash-Back Van Pelt: Jane? Are you all right? Jane? Are you all right? Jane: Yeah, yeah. Uh, I'm fine. I'm fine. He stands up and makes a few steps but he collapses. Van Pelt immediatly gets up and goes next to him. Van Pelt: Jane. Jane. Later Jane is sitting on his couch, a doctor is examinating him. There's Minelli and Lisbon too. Minelli: Is he all right? Jane: Oh, I'm 100% okay. No need to send me back. Lisbon: Sir, he needs to be in the hospital. He has to go if you order him to. Minelli: I could, but someone did try to kll him, remember? We can protect him better here... At less expense. Jane: Thanks, Virgil. Minelli: Okay, but this is a favor. If you die in this department, I'm responsible. I do all the paperwork. In fact, if he does die for whatever reason, move him to a public area, would you? I'd be very grateful. Jane: I hope he's smiling. Minelli: Places to be ! Jane: Don't we all. His stick falls. He searches for it but don't find it. Jane: Uh... Uh...A little help here? Lisbon rolls her eyes but helps him. Jane: Just the stick. Just the stick. Thank you. Later, they are all sitting at the table. Lisbon: We started doing research on your old client, Carol Gentry. Jane: She's not a suspect. Lisbon: Lynch-Halstead were her brokerage firm for a while. Jane: Just a coincidence. She's not a suspect. Cho: How can you be so sure? Jane: Carol Gentry klled herself eight years ago. She left no family. They all don't know what to say. Jane: You all still here? Lisbon: We're all here. Jane: Good. So back to square one, I guess? Lisbon: Not quite. Van Pelt's done some deeper research. Van Pelt: We cross-checked the spouse's names. And came up with a second ht. You used to have a client named Jill Lamont. Her husband was Paul Krager. And he used to work for Lynch-Halstead. Jane: Jill Lamont? Yes. Flash Back Jane is sitting on a couch, there's a woman with him. Jane: Tell me more about your husband just anything. Jill Lamont: He loves me, loves our son. Family is everything to him. But I've noticed a change... Lately. She gives him a watch, the same as Medina's Jane: What sort of a change? Jill: He seems, uh... preoccupied. Jane: And that's when you began to wonder if he was being unfaithful? Jill: That's right. Jane: All right. Something's coming through. Feel it with me. Here. Yes, I'm feeling that Paul hasn't been 100% honest with you. He hasn't been happy. You know that, don't you? Do you sense someone else in his life? Your senses never lie. Jill: Yes. Yes, I do. Jane: Okay. Jill: There's someone else. Is he leaving me? Jane: You have to talk to him, Jill. You have to tell Paul not to ruin what you have together. End Flask Back At Lynch-Halstead Cho and Lisbon ar tamking to a man Man: Paul Krager's a name I haven't heard in a while. It never even entered my mind. Lisbon: What do you know about his personal life? Man: We've all made our mistakes over the years. Fat wallets and good wine can do that to a man. Cho: You're referring to his divorce? Man: That was no divorce. That was a mssacre. His wife remarried, I think. But Krager's whole world fell apart. Work-wise, he never recovered. Went off the rails, to be frank. We had to let him go. Lisbon: Who actually did the fring? Man: Now that you mention it, Jimmy Medina did. Jim did a lot of the ax work here. Unfortunate part of the job. Cho: Any idea where we can find Krager now? Man: Last I heard,someone saw him at a church soup kitchen during the holidays.Their brife for the grace of God,if you know what I mean. CBI Headquarters Rigsby: Well, Lynch was right.The legal fees alone nearly bankrupted Krager. His wife took their son, moved east and remarried. Cho: So where's Krager now? Rigsby: Well, based on we could find, he was so devastated losing his family, his whole world collapsed. Lisbon: No permanent address. He hasn't filed a tax return in years. His last known employer was lynch-halstead in 2001. Cho: Boy,you really did a number on him. Jane: Yes, I did. Thank you. Lisbon: No, you simply confirmed what she knew in her heart already. Jane: Has anyone tried contacting her,Jill Lamont? Rigsby: Yeah,cI left word. No answer yet. Lisbon: We put an A.P.B. Out on Paul Krager. Cho and I are gonna follow up on some leads. You stay right there. Nobody take him anywhere. No excitement what so ever. Clear? Van Pelt: Clear, boss. Rigsby: Clear, boss. Jane: Crystal. Van Pelt and Rigsby are in the kitchen Van Pelt: Did you see how many clients Jane had? Rigsby: Well,I guess he helped a lot of people. Van Pelt: I'm not so sure. A man appears. Rigsby sees him. Rigsby: Hi. Can I help you? Van Pelt turns around and sees the man too Van Pelt: Dan. Hey. Dan Hollenbeck: Hi. Van Pelt: Hi. What are you doing here? Dan: I was at another meeting upstairs. Thought I'd stop by and say hello. Is that cool? Van Pelt: Yeah, totally. You know, it's just a surprise, that's all. Dan: So,um... Introduce me to your colleague, who keeps staring at me so strangely. Van Pelt: Yeah. Uh... Agent Rigsby? This is my friend, Dan Hollenbeck. Dan: Good to meet you. Dan extends his hand but Rigsby ignores him. Rigsby: Hi. How you doing? Dan: Uh, I'm excellent. And you? Rigsby: Good. Yeah. Van Pelt: Okay, so... Rigsby: A lawyer, are you? Dan: I am. I'm sorry. Do we have a problem? Rigsby: No. No problem. It takes all sorts, even lawyers. Van Pelt: Okay, that's enough. Dan: A pleasure to get to know you,Agent Rigsby.(to Van Pelt)Can we... Can we be somewhere private for a moment? Van Pelt: Uh... I don't know if that's such a... Good idea. Dan: Please? Rigsby: You know what? I'm sorry. You and me do have a problem. Not a big one, but we do need to talk. No trouble, I swear. Dan: All right, then. Van Pelt: No,it is not all right. Rigsby: No trouble. I promise. Dan: It's okay,Grace. It's fine. Rigsby: Okay. Men's room Dan: So here we are. Talk away. Rigsby: I don't know you, Dan. Maybe you're a nice guy. I hope so. I don't know. Because if you ever hurt Grace Van Pelt, I will find you and I will cause you pain, Because she means a lot to... to the unit. So you treat her right, okay? Dan: Yeah, I hear you. I appreciate your concern. You care for Grace. Don't worry. I'm a...I'm a nice guy. Rigsby: Okay. Hey, uh ,I'm sorry to get heavy with you. All right. I had to say it, you know? Just so long as we understand each other. Dan: Yeah, sure thing. I understand. I do. Rigsby turns away but Dan hits him with a gn. Then he handcuffs Rigsby. Few minutes later CBI Van Pelt: I am so embarrassed. What did Rigsby say to you? Dan: No call for embarrassment. He's a good-hearted person. I like him. He just wants you to be happy... Or else. Van Pelt: And what did you say? Dan: Hmm. Well, I'd say I did my best. Van Pelt: You did? Dan: I did. Hey, where is this psychic character. You told me about? I'm dying to meet him. VanPelt: He wanted to meet you,too. They walk into the bullpen. Jane is sleeping on his couch. Van Pelt: Jane? Jane wakes up Jane: Damn. Van Pelt: Sorry. I didn't know whether to wake you or not. Jane: I'm awake. Van Pelt: You said you wanted to meet the man I've been dating. Jane: Yeah. Is he coming? Van Pelt: He's here. Jane: Here? Here now? Van Pelt: Yes. Dan: Right here. Jane: Oh. Dan: Dan hollenbeck, sir. It's a real pleasure to meet you. Grace has told me so much about you. They shake hand Jane: Good to meet you, too, Dan. Dan: Excuse my asking, but are you... Jane: Blind? Yes,as a bat. Van Pelt: Temporarily blind. Think positive. Jane: Yes, positive. That's right. So,Van Pelt,where is Rigsby exactly? Van Pelt: I don't know. Out getting pizza, if I know Rigsby. You need him for something? Jane: Lisbon? Cho? Van Pelt: Still chasing down Paul Krager. Nobody here but us. Jane: Of course. So, Dan,quite the hard grip you have there. Working man's hands. That, uh, faint scent of chemicals but an expensive Italian suit. It's interesting. Van Pelt: Dan's a lawyer. Dan: A very junior lawyer. I lobby the state senate. Jane: But you're good with your hands. You're good at building things as a hobby, maybe. Dan: I guess. Jane: What sort of things do you build as a hobby? Dan: You know, stuff. Jane: And your parents? Where are they? Dan: They're dad. Jane: Sorry to be a busybody. I just wanna be sure Grace finds the right young man. Dan: Mm. Van Pelt: Hush. Jane: Well, I'm hungry. I... I guess I'll just, uh, get myself something to eat. He gets up. Van Pelt: Don't be silly. I'll get you something. Jane: No, no, no, no, it's okay. I can manage. Dan: Think I'm dumb? Make the wrong move, and I'll sh*t her in the head. Jane: I hear you. Van Pelt: What are you guys whispering about? Jane: Nothing. Some chips would be nice. Van Pelt: What kind? Jane: I'm easy. Van Pelt's phone rings. Van Pelt: It's the boss. Lisbon: Looks like we've cracked it. We found Paul Krager. He was obsessed with Jane and Medina. Remember he has a son? Well, Krager told us he's living in the city now. He goes by the name Dan Hollenbeck. She hangs up Lisbon: Van Pelt? Dan: Sorry about this. Lisbon: Van Pelt?...That was weird. Van Pelt: I don't understand. Jane: He's the bmb. He klled James Medina, and now he's come to kll me. Van Pelt goes to her desk to take her gn. Dan: Don't even think about it. I'm sorry I had to lie to you, Grace, truly. But I needed you. Van Pelt: Why? Jane: To access the statehouse lot. He used your security pass. Van Pelt: You son of a bitch. Jane: Just be cool,Van Pelt. Please. Dan: Grace, relax. I have no desire to hurt you. Van Pelt: Give it up, Dan, please? Dan: I'm in too deep. I can't stop now. Don't make me hurt you. Jane: Just do as he says. Dan: Oh, you're a nice guy now, aren't you? You destroyed my life for what? Because my dad cheated on my mom? Big deal. He wasn't perfect. And for that, he's on the street. He loses everything ! One day, I'm at the best... The best private school in Los Angeles. I'm playing soccer with movie stars' kids. Next minute, I'm in Dogpatch, New Jersey, with my weeping mom,getting my ass whipped by thugs that don't even speak freaking english. Why?! Because you... you had to be the man who knows. You had to tell my mom the truth. Jane: I'm sorry, Dan. Dan: Yeah, sure you are, with a gn at your back. Dan: (to Van Pelt)Take out your handcuffs. Handcuff yourself. Behind the back. Drop the cane. Jane: Oh Dan: Okay. Here we go. Let's go. Jane: Where are we going? Dan: Somewhere quiet and private. You won't like it. Where's your car,Grace? Van Pelt: In the side parking lot. A jeep, Iowa plates. Dan: I didn't know you were from Iowa. Famous potatoes, huh? Van Pelt: That's Idaho, you ignorant jerk. Dan: Oh, yeah? What's Iowa famous for? Jane: Gullible women. Van Pelt: That's not fair. Dan: Keep moving. Outside parking lot Jane: Uh, Tommy, you still here? Tommy: Hey, Mr. Jane. Uh, just locking up. You folks need anything? Jane: Uh...(he hits Dan with his elbow) Uhh ! Run ! Run, Grace ! Tommy: Freeze ! (they start to fre, Dan sht Tommy in the shoulder) Uhh! Van Pelt: Okay, go to the right, the right. Jane: Okay,you're gonna take this to your car. Van Pelt: But I can't drive. Jane: We'll manage. Keys, keys. Van Pelt: Uh,in... in the left front pants pocket. Jane: Sorry,oh,oh. Uh... Got it. Let's go. Van Pelt: Okay,okay. The jeep's on the right. Jane: Got it? Van Pelt: Okay. This is the handle. Jane: You are in Grace? Grace you are in? Van Pelt: Hang on, hang on. Jane: On the dash or on the column? Van Pelt: On the... on the column. Up,Up. Up. Okay. That's... that's reverse. Jane: Good? All... all clear? Van Pelt: Yeah, slow. Slow. Jane: slowly? slowly backing. Van Pelt: slow,slow,slow,slow. They bump in another car Jane: Oh. Sorry about that. Van Pelt: Straight. Jane: Okay,I got it. Dan sht the car but misses. Jane: Aah! Van Pelt: Okay, straight straight straight. Okay,now make a right. Turn right. No,no,not yet! Not yet! Oh! Oh! Aah! Aah! Punch it,punch it,punch it! Go to the right! Whoa! Whoa! Wait. Reverse,reverse,reverse. Dan sht in the window Jane: You all right? Van Pelt: Go,go,go. Yeah,reverse,reverse,go,go,reverse. Reverse,reverse. They bump in a car. Jane: Uhh! Come on. Start,come on. Van Pelt: Come on,come on,come on. Put the park put the park. Jane: I can't start,I can't start. Van Pelt: Oh! Jane,no! Dan has got his gn pointed on Jane. There's a sh*t, Dan fell on the floor. It's Lisbon. Van Pelt: Oh ! Oh,thank god. Oh,thank god. Jane: What? What happened? Something good happen? Lisbon: Didn't I say no excitement of any kind? Men's room. Van Pelt: Oh, you're alive. Are you okay? Rigsby: Yeah. It's no bother. I'm fine. Van Pelt: I'm sorry. God,I'm so sorry. Rigsby: It's all right. It's all right. They almost kiss, but a maintenance officer interrupts Maintenance officer: Oops ! Sorry about that. He gets out. Rigsby: I have an H746B form to fill out. Van Pelt: Yeah. Following moring, CBI Jane is sitting on his couch. He takes away the bandages from his eyes. Jane: Ow. Lisbon who has just arrived, approach him. Jane opens his eyes. Jane: Oh,you have no notion how good it is to see your face, Rigsby. Lisbon: Rigsby? Jane: Ahh! They laugh. Lisbon: Huh? You're funny. End	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "01x16 - Bloodshot"}	foreverdreaming
Lisbon: Morning, captain. Agent Lisbon. Jane, consultant. What do we have here? Captain: Thanks for stepping in. Homicide unit owes you one. Jane. You're that psychic fella. Jane: Right. Captain: Me? I don't buy into that E. S.P. Crap. No offense. Jane: None taken. Captain: Here we have Ivor Rassmussen, age 34, address river park no sign of the mrder wapon. Store security was on the scene pretty fast. We were able to detain everybody who was in the section at the time. We're holding them over in the furniture department. So, Carnac, what does Ivor say? He tell you who done it? Jane: Leather pants, musky cologne, phallic jewelry. A ladies' man. Went after high-end cougars with moderate success. Casual cocaine user. Plays guitar—not well. Works in the noncreative end of a creative business. Advertising, maybe. Nothing worth klling anyone over anyway. So he died from romantic reasons. Where are those suspects you mentioned? Captain: The witnesses? Jane: Whatever. Lisbon: Take it down a notch. Take it down three notches. Jane: Okay. Under control we'll get this done quick and be on our way. Hello. We're from the CBI. May well be that one of you is the mrder. If that's so, I'm gonna find out who. These two are innocent. They can go. Lisbon: Uh, stick around. We're gonna need a statement. Jane: Neil. What's the worst mistake you've ever made? Quick. Neil: Uh, first marriage. Jane: Good answer. Why so nervous? Neil: I'm not. I just—i... (mouths word) Jane: You. Your name? Candice: Candice. Jane: Candice. That name. Here. Thank you. It's okay. I'm a consultant. Candice, take my advice. Forgive your mother. Maybe the headaches will stop Candice: I love my mother. Jane: Oh, I'm wrong. Ignore my advice. You. Your name. Reed: Reed. Woman: Excuse me. This is a joke, right? Jane: A joke? A man has been klled . Is that funny to you? Are you amused? Woman: No, but— Jane: Then sit. Reed, quick question. Green Lantern versus Thor— who wins? Reed: Thor. Jane: Oh, yeah. Why'd you kll Rassmussen? Reed: I didn't. Jane: All right. Now, you, Miss grumpy and entitled, what's your story? Mandy: My name is Mandy Shultz. And I'll havyou know that my— Jane: Let me guess. Your husband is a very important person. Mandy: He is, as it happens. John's on the Modesto city council. And this is totally unprofessional and disrespectful. I'll have my husband take talk with your superiors. Jane: Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. The diet pills are messing with your mind. This is Sacramento, the big city. Your husband means nothing here. Captain: Okay, that's enough. Agent Lisbon? Lisbon: Give him another moment. Jane: Don't need a moment. Ca is all but closed. Mandy here is gonna lead us right to the mrder wapon. Mandy: What? Jane: Take my hands. I need physical contact to read your mind. Mandy: You're nuts. Jane: Prove it. If I'm wrong, if we can't find the mrder wapon, then I look like an idiot. Mandy: Yes, you will. What are you— Jane: Don't speak. (box lid falls) Voila! The mrder wapon. Mandy: This is crazy. I had no idea that was there. Captain: How could you direct us right to it if you didn't put it there? Mandy: I didn't. I-I don't know. But I-I didn't kll that man. I-I didn't! Jane: She's right. She has nothing to do with the mrder. Lisbon: What? Jane: I just used her as a decoy to lull the real kller into giving me clean directional cues. Captain: Oh, come on. What are you talking about now? Jane: Whatever way he didn't wants to go is the way that we went. Captain: The real kller. Jane: Yeah, you wanna guess who it is? Lisbon: Come on, Jane. Jane: Neil. Neil: Excuse me. No, i—it wasn't. I-I don't even know that man. Jane: Oh, is that right? I'm guessing that he was having an affair with your current wife. You found out and you forgave her like a sucker. He saw you here, probably smirked and said something very clever, made you feel... Small. Man: Grab him! Jane: Humiliated you! (both grunting) (glass shattering) Get him! Get him! Stop! Stop! Uhh! Lisbon: Nice work. Jane: What? Case is closed, isn't it? Voice (man O. C.): Put it down! ( gn ) (woman screams) I say drop it now! ( gn ) Minelli: A dad suspect, quarter-million dollars worth of damages, formal complains of misconduct from the SPD and the Modesto City Council. Lisbon: Those damages were way padded. Jane: All due respect, Virgil, I was trying to close the case. It was my feeling that Red John should be our priority, given the dozen frh leads— - Minelli: Stop! Stop. That's the nub of the problem right here... Red John. Ever since the Tanner incident, you've been runnin' way too hot. I fear a terminal screw up coming. Jane: That's not gonna happen. I can handle him. Minelli: Can you? Maybe since he saved your life, you're going easy on him. Maybe you feel compelled cut him some slack. Lisbon: No, sir. This absolutely not the case. Minelli: Hey, Sam, get in here. Bosco: Lisbon. Lisbon: Bosco. Minelli: Agent Bosco and his unit are taking over the Red John case. Jane: What? No, no, no. Minelli: You have always been too close to the case, and now both of you are way or close. We need to make a change. Lisbon: Can we talk about this? Minelli: No. You've worked for agent Bosco. You know that he will do the job right. Lisbon: You need to let my team finish what they started. Bosco: Teresa, no offense, but you guys aren't even close to catching this guy. Fresh set of eye gotta be a good idea. Jane: What do you know about the case? Bosco: Not much. He's a serial kller. 15 victims, including your wife and child. I can imagine your pain. Maybe that pain is clouding your judgment. Lisbon: And me, Sam? What's clouding my judgment? Bosco: Good question. You tell me? Rigsby: What happened? Lisbon: We're off Red John. Team: What? Forever? He can't do that. (Rigsby) Will we get reprimanded? (Van Pelt) Who gets it instead? Lisbon: Quiet. Look, this is my fault, but it's a wake-up call for all of us. We've grown slack and unprofessional. We need to earn back the trust that we've lost. From now on, we work 100% straight. No more shortcuts. No more ga— What are you doing? You're leaving? Jane: Well, frankly, if I can't use this job to seek some kind of personal revenge, then, uh, there's not a whole lot here for me. But I-I... I don't make anything better. I can't bring dad people back to life. What good do we do? We drive around California visiting unhappy people. Van Pelt: We're fighting evil and injustice. Jane: And how's that going? Any progress lately? Cho: We put bad guys away where they can't hurt people. That's good enough. Jane: I was doing more good as a psychic. I was giving people hope, at least. False hope, but hope anyway. (telephone rings) Van Pelt: Van Pelt. Lisbon: You're right. Best you leave. That way you can go back to bei a full-time fraud and we can continue our useless jobs in peace. Jane: Well, that's actually not what I said. Lisbon: Yes, it was. Van Pelt: We're up. Twenty palms. Lisbon: Let's go. You come, too, Van Pelt. We'll take two vehicles in case need to split up. Cho: I'll see you when you get there. Rigsby: Boss, no disrespect, but I think we need Jane. Lisbon: We'll manage. Maybe we don't close as many cases, but the ones we do close will be closed right, by professional. (buttons clicking) Van Pelt, it's not a jet plane. Van Pelt: Okay, okay, okay. ( car alarm wails ) S-sorry. Jane: Oh, I'm not gonna leave you in the lurch. I'll do one more case. Lisbon: Do up your seat belt. (starts engine) (police radio chatter) Lisbon: Van Pelt, you come with me. You guys talk to the first responders, see what they got. Policeman: Hey, the apartment's upstairs. We have a female caucasian, late 3. Ran license down already. It a fake. We're calling her Jane Doe. Lisbon: Who found the body? Policeman: The building manager noticed her door was open overnight. Last one down to the left. Jane: Thank you. Lisbon: What's your take? Van Pelt: ht with a stun gn end suffocated with the cushion. And they were looking for something, obviously. Jane: Did they find it, Grace? Van Pelt: It's impossible to tell. Jane: Well, it seems they look everywhere possible. Yes? Van Pelt: Yeah. Jane: So we can assume that they didn't find it, whatever it is. Van Pelt: How so? Jane: Well, let's say there's a hundred places to look for a thing. How likely is it that you will find it in the hundred places you look? Lisbon: Not very likely, right? What else you got? Van Pelt: Um... No drug paraphernalia, no condoms or other items suggesting prostitution. So... Maybe a personal crime? A husband or lover? Jane: Bravo, Grace. Wrong, I expect but very well reasoned nonetheless. (Patrick sighs) Cho: Thank you, all. Appreciate it. Nothing off the car, but we'll have the lab boys take a look. It's still registered to the previous owner, sold it for cash six months ago. Lisbon: So basically we know nothing about her. Nice start. Jane: She's a law-abiding middle-class housewife that did something bad, something she feels terribly guilty about... guilty enough to make her run away and hide. Lisbon: That's evidence. You know the drill. Jane: You put "bullfrogs win high school basketball trophy" into a search engine, we will find Jane Doe's home. Rigsby: Can I take a look at that? Jane: Sure. Rigsby: It's a working truck. Dad must be in construction, something like that. Van Pelt: Bayshore Courier, April 2006. County finals— Lady Bullfrogs dominate injury-plagued Panthers. Jane: If they list the players, cross-check the surnames with the other articles from the same newspaper in the last year using the word disappearance. Cho: If we leave now, we can be in Bay Shore in a couple of hours. Lisbon: Oh, we need a title more than lady bullfrogs to go on. Van Pelt: "Bay Shore Courier" of June this year. Headline is "Police no closer to Dunninger." "since her disappearance last month, Bayshore PD have been unable to locate 43-year-old Monica Dunninger, the secretary accused of stealing nearly $1 million from her employers, the Jaffe Printing Group." Lisbon: Okay. Bayshore it is then. Van Pelt: So the kller must've been looking for the million bucks. Rigsby: If she had a million bucks, why would she live in a dump like this? Jane: Before we get on the freeway, it'd be good to take a little drive around the neighborhood, be good to find an empty house for sale. Lisbon: Why would that be good? Jane: I'm thinking of moving here. Lisbon: No secrets, Jane. No lies. No tricks. No surprises. The truth. Jane: Since when is that that rules? Lisbon: Since I said so. Jane: Else what? Lisbon: You're off the unit. Jane: That's not leverage. This is my last case, remember? The only reason I'm still here is 'cause I'm worried about how you guys would cope without me. Lisbon: Oh, really? So we are lost without you, are we? Jane: Well yeah. Let's be honest here. ( Lisbon closes SUV rear door ) Lisbon: Let's go. (starts engine) Jane: Wait. This... (sighs) (police radio chatter) Whoa! (brakes squeal) (shifts gears) Cho: What'd you say to em? Jane: Nothing, really. Total overreaction. Cho: Yeah. (sighs) Jane: We need to find a house for sale. (seat belt clicks) Cho: Ok. (shifts gears) Jane: Ah, there's a sign. (shifts gears) Perfect. (knock on door) (seat belt clicks) Cho: You gonna tell me what that's about? Jane: Wouldn't you rather it be a surprise? Cho: No. Jane: Oh, look. Look, look, strawberries. Lisbon: Strawberries? Jane: See? How good is that? Lisbon: Good. Cho, Rigsby, start canvassing the neighbors. Van pelt, come with me. Jane: Uh, I... Lisbon, uh... I'm sorry for what sayou before. Can I please continue working with you? Lisbon: I thought you were quitting. Jane: You know I didn't mean that. Lisbon: So the job is worth while, is it? Jane: Eh, it's not that. I mean, it's not that at all. It's just... I have nothing else to do. Lisbon: No jokes. From now on, there have to be boundaries. Jane: Agreed. Lisbon: I need to know that you can do your work and be effective without creating a mess that I have to clean up. Jane: No mess, I swear. Lisbon: On that basis, you can remain with the unit. Jane: Thank you. Here. Man: So how did she die? Lisbon: It s a homicide, but she didn't suffer. We don't have any suspects yet. Man: Where was she? Van Pelt: She was living alone in a small apartment in twenty palms. Cassie: I thought she'd be living it up in Mexico or somepla. She was always— Ansel: Stop it. I need to lie down. Man: Okay, champ, let's roll. (sighs) Cassie: I'm making some tea. Would you like a cup? Lisbon: No thank you. Jane: Oh, oh, I-I'd love a cup. Thanks. Cassie: Ansel, uh, had cancer. He's totally better now but still weak. (water pouring) Van Pelt: It's in remission? Cassie: Gone. 100%. We were blessed. Even the doctors were amazed. Jane: Oh, thank you. Tell me about your mother. Cassie: Sure. I'll tell you. (sets down mug) Stealing all that money and running off... that was just the icing on the cake. When Ansel got cancer, her way coping... painkillers and a sleazebag lover. That's mom. Jane: Did you know her lover's name? Cassie: Bodhi Andros. How we found out? (scoffs) Ansel goes to meet his mom at her yogarobics class. He finds her banging the teacher in his office. Can you imagine? Jane: Then what happened? Cassie: She did her dance. She's so ashamed, she's so sorry, she's changed. Whatever. And dad was halfway to forgiving her. He cant help it. He loves her. Jane: But you don' love her? Cassie: She... Never had time for me. So. I could always see through her games. You know? To the selfish cow beneath— Man: Cassie! Don't talk that way. She loved you. Look, she's dad. Show some respect. She was a beautiful soul, full of joy an-and big dreams. And reality just kinda bat her down. Cassie: But here's the thing. It was only because the robbery was in the news that the doctors at cedars of zion heard about ansel and reached out to help us. They took him on for free and they save his life— saved his life when everybody said there was no hope. You know, god works in mysterious ways. Jane: Well, you know, god doesn't necessarily, uh, answer— Lisbon: Thank you very much for you time. Jane: Yeah. Thank you. Very nice tea. Oh, uh, I almost forgot. Do either of you know a Miles Thorsen? Man: Uh, no, I don't. Cassie: No. Jane: You sure? Man: Yeah. Cassie: Yes. Jane: All right. Ansel. Hey, Ans! You know Miles Thorsen? Ansel: No. Jane: Okay. Bye. Lisbon: Thank you. Who's Miles Thorsen? Jane: No one in particular. Lisbon: This is what I'm talking about. Jane: No me, too. Y-you want no fuss, no mess, right? I am casting a wide, invisible net, the kller won't even know he's in it until it's too late. Lisbon: Miles Thorsen is an invisible net? Jane: Yes, he is. Van Pelt: We got an address on Bodhi Andros. Lisbon: Cho, Rigsby, go and check him out. Van Pelt, get on the money trail. Somebody's got that $1 million. Start with the dad and the daughter. See if either of them's been spending money they shouldn't have. Van Pelt: They looked clean me. Lisbon: Oh, did they? Okay, eat. Just let them be. Van Pelt: I don't... I'll check 'em out. Jane: Okay, come on. Let's get back to Sacramento, grumpy. Lisbon: What's the hurry? Jane: I have a meeting with Bosco. Lisbon: Good luck. (sitar music playing) Woman: Great class, girls. Hey, and let's use that focus we found throughout the week, okay? Namaste. Namaste. Okay, thank you. (click, music stops) (beeping) Cho: I'm looking for Bodhi Andros. Woman: Oh, crap! Yeah, his office is upstairs, to the right. Cho: Thank you. Rigsby: Remember that time you said you'd been in juvie? Cho: Yep. Rigsby: You never said what you got sent there for. Cho: It's gng stuff. Rigsby: You were in a gng? What was the name of the gng? Cho: Avon park playboys. Rigsby: Avon park playboys? (chuckles) Cho: I didn't choose the name. (door shuts) Rigsby: And, uh, what kind of stuff did the playboys do? Cho: Nothing good. Rigsby: Like what? Cho: Nothing you need to know about. Rigsby: Mm, fair enough. Your call. See, I don't think partners should have secrets, but your call. Cho: Like don't have any secrets. Rigsby: What's the supposed to mean? Cho: You know what I mean. Hey, you in there. Police. CBI. Very slowly, stand up. Bodhi Andros: I'm unarmed, man. I have no wapon. Rigsby: Well, that's great. So come out slowly with your hands on your head, and I won't hurt you. Promise. Bodhi Andros: Okay, I'm coming out now. Don't sht. Rigsby: Morning, sir. You Bodhi Andros? Bodhi Andros: Yes, I am. Cho: Turn around. Jane: Sorry I'm late. Bad traffic. What are you having? Bosco: What are you having? Jane: Well, I'll have a bottle of water, thanks. Bosco: A dog with kraut, bottle of water. (metal clangs) Thank you. Bosco: Keep it. (nods) Jane: Oh, thank you. I'm not happy I'm off the Red John case. You might be right. Fresh set of eye may be what's needed. Now here's the thing, Sam, if I may. I know this case. I can be a very good resource for you. If we could just come to some kind of understanding... Bosco: You want me to, uh, keep you up to date on the case? Jane: Yeah, sure. Bosco: Tell you about fresh leads, etcetera. Jane: Yeah, let's just keep an open line of communication. Good? (mouth full) Bosco: Wife has me on a diet. Mm-hmm. This is like committin' adultery here. (chuckles) Let me communicate this to you. You're a party entertainer, a clown. Fresh leads? I wouldn't tell you where the bathroom is if your ass was on fre. (Jane chuckles) Do we have a good understanding now? Jane: I understand you. It may take you some time to understand me. Bosco: You're filled with equal parts self-loathing and self-love. You're addicted to control. You're terrified of confinement. Jane: Who's my favorite Beatle? Bosco: Your wife wanted you to quit the psychic trade. She begged you to stop, but you were making too much money. You were havin' too much fun. You can still hear her pleading with you. How am I doin'? Jane: You read the interviews in my case files. You can read very impressive. Bosco: Look Patrick, I'm sorry to be so blunt with you. Jane: Really? Bosco: You're not a detective. You're a victim. Lisbon: You never said. How was your meet with Bosco? Jane: What? I can't hear you! Lisbon: I said, how did it go with Bosco? Jane: I can't... Lisbon: (loudly) How did it go with Bosco? Jane: Good. It was, uh, it was very good. We had a Frank exchange of views. Lisbon: So he's gonna keep us in the loop? Jane: No. Lisbon: No? Jane: Wouldn't direct me to the bathroom if my ass was on fre. Think that's funny? (chuckles) Yeah. Man: So that's Mrs. Jaffe over there. Jane: Thank you. Man: Sure Lisbon: What are you gonna do? Jane: Nothing. Lisbon: Nothing? Jane: If you sit down by he riverbank and wait long enough, you will see the bodies of your enemies float by. Shall we? Rhonda Jaffe: Agent Lisbon, is it? I'm Rhonda Jaffe, company chairwoman. Lisbon: This is my colleague Mr. Jane. Rhonda: Hello. Lisbon: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us. Rhonda: Oh, not at all. And you wanted to meet with my finance director Greg Humphrey? Lisbon: Yes, ma'am. Rhonda: All right. Well, let's speak in my office. Lisbon: Did you know Monica Dunninger? Rhonda: Oh, yeah. I know everyone on staff. So sad. The whole thing is just so sad. The poor woman. More troubled than conniving, I'm sure. And you know, it's not the money. It's more the loss of trust. This is very, very much a family firm. And my father always used to say, Jaffe Printing is about values, not about machinery. (elevator bell dings) Jane: Do you know Miles Thorsen? Rhonda: Miles Thorsen? No. Jane: Are you sure? Rhonda: Yes. Lisbon: Seriously, stop it. Jane: Relax. I saved her life. She resents me. Rhonda: Oh, really? (beep) Jill? Jill? Jill, where has Greg Humphrey gone to? He's supposed to be in here. (beep) (beep) Hello? (beep) Greg: Humble apologies. Small crisis on the inventory desk. Solved. Uh, Greg Humphrey. Good to meet you. Jane: Patrick Jane. Lisbon: We're investigating the mrder of Monica Dunninger. Greg: Yes. Terrible. Horrible. Lisbon: You were her direct supervisor, is that right? Greg: I know what you're gonna say, and yes, yes, it was my fault that she stole from us. Mea culpa. I-I should've known. Rhonda: Greg is like family practically. Greg: We all make mistakes We live, we learn, we move on. Lisbon: Uh, can you explain to us how she did it? In layman's terms? Greg: Been there, done that with the top men from the FBI financial unit. Do we really need to talk it again? Lisbon: Yes. Greg: No problem. Jane: Thank you. Lisbon: What exactly was her position here? Greg: Assistant office manager. She kept the petty cash accounts. Coffee and doughnut monitor essentially. This was her office. Lisbon: How did she manage to steal so much money? Greg: When the accounting and finance systems were integrated, nobody thought to firewall the TTY cash accounts. Monica acquired user access to the transactional sites and created a false vendor. I didn't think she had the brains, to be honest. We don't know exactly how she did it because she fried her hard drive and she took her accounts book with her. Jane: Are we about to look at a whole bunch of numbers? Lisbon: Probably. Jane: All right. I'll wait in the car. Lisbon: Go. (keyboard clacking) Jane: Do you know a man named Miles Thorsen? Greg: No. Jane: You sure? Think about it. Greg: I'm sure. Who is he? Jane: Never mind. Lisbon: Please continue. Would you excuse me? (Van Pelt on phone) Van Pelt: Boss, I think I found something. The victim's daughter, Kessie Dunninger... she handles the family money, pays the bills. Five months ago, she stopped paying the rent by standing order, switched to cash. Same thing with the utility bills. Paid in cash. Lisbon: Nice work. Go and talk to her. She doesn't have a good answer, bring her in. Van Pelt: Will do, boss. (whispers) Yes! (keys jingling) Cho: Why did you hide from us, Bodhi? Bodhi: Fear, man. Fear. I've been frightened for my life here since I heard. Cho: Why? Who klled her? Bodhi: Either it was her goober husband finally snapped, which puts me next in line, or it's whoever she went into business with, and maybe they think I know too much. Cho: She was in business with someone? Bodhi: Just before she disappeared, she came by to see me, told me she made a business deal with someone that would make everything all right. Cho: A business deal? Were those the words she used? Bodhi: Yep. She was starting a new day in her life and wanted to make amends and apologize for being such a pain in the butt, which she was. Cho: How so? Bodhi: She was way too deep into her family and to her kids and all that crap. Loved those kids. Why do I want to talk to her about her sick boy? Like I can help? Cho: You're not a doctor. Bodhi: Exactly. When we were caught by that kid, she just... went to pieces, you know? And I'm like, don't get so down on yourself. You gotta love you even if you're a total screw up, right? The greatest. Love... of all. Whitney was right, as usual. (whispers) Cho: Right. You know a man named Miles Thorsen? Bodhi: No. Who's he? Cho: I don't know. Van Pelt: Is that enough sugar? Cassie: Yes thank you. Van Pelt: So, Cassie, tell me about the money. Cassie: About a month after she ran off, mom called me, said she wanted to help out, wanted to know how Hansel was doing. She loves us so much, blah, blah, blah. I told her to go to hell, and I hung up. 2 days later, I got a letter with $5,000 in cash inside. Van Pelt: Any message? Cassie: "With love, mom." That was it. What was I supposed to do, give it to the police? Van Pelt: Actually, yes. Cassie: Well, I didn't. We really needed the money. Van Pelt: Did you ever tell your dad about the money. Cassie: No. Van Pelt: How often did she send you money? Cassie: $5,000 every month. Van Pelt: Did you ever write back to her? Cassie: No. Lisbon: I like her for this. Jane: How so? Lisbon: She despises mom. (door opens) Mom's got $1 million stolen dollar, gets in contact secretly. Do the math. Jane: Maybe. Lisbon: No? What's your take? Jane: I'd be guessing. Could be anybody. Lisbon: Not anybody. You didn't do it. I didn't do it. You're distracted. You're thinking about Bosco and Red John. Focus on the job at hand. Jane: You're glad Bosco has the Red John case, aren't you? Lisbon: Bosco is good agent. He's as good as they come. It might not be such a bad thing that we're off the case for a while. We got too close. Jane: Is that what your shrink tells us? Lisbon: Everybody tells me that. Jane: But your shrink didn't tell you that, didn't he? Okay, may—maybe you're right. Maybe—maybe that's the truth. Maybe we did get a little too close. I'm not so sure. But I'll think about it. Lisbon: Liar. I've got a deposition. See that box ever there? (slaps leg) It's got Monica Dunninger's possessions in it. Go through it, see what you can see. Jane: Yes, ma'am... Uh, who wants to come with me out to Twenty Palms to catch the kller? Rigsby: Did Lisbon okay this? Jane: Of course. Rigsby: What is this place? Jane: Guess. Cho: Miles Thorsen's house. Jane: Exactly. Rigsby: Who's Miles Thorsen? Jane: I have no idea. Rigsby: Isn't that your number? Jane: Uh, yeah, that's my number. That's in case the kller gets here before us. That way, he'll call us. Who's that over there? (door rattling) Rigsby: Hey, we have no warrant. Cho: Don't you hear someone yelling in there? Rigsby: No. Jane: I heard something. Rigsby: There's no yelling. I have perfect hearing. Cho: I could swear I heard someone. (sighs) Rigsby: Okay, so what are we doing here? (sighs) Jane: Everybody involved is wondering who Miles Thorsen is. Huh? The kller will be double curious. Triply, even. Maybe the mysterious Miles Thorsen has what the kller is looking for, what he didn't find. When they look him up, they'll learn there's a Miles Thorsen who lives right around the corner from Monica. Hey, Presto. Rigsby: This is extly the kind of stuff the boss was tking about. She didn't okay this at all, did she? Jane: So sht me. "The fax machine revolution—the little box that'sing our world." why would Monica Dunninger be reading this book? Rigsby: You, Cho, shouldn't enable this kind of crap. Cho: We're not doing anything wrong. What's the problem? Rigsby: Uh, burglary, trespassing, willfull damage to property. Cho: Yeah, door was open. Rigsby: Uh, no, it wasn't. Jane: Of course. Rigsby: What? Jane: Rigsby, you' right. You shouldn't be here. Let us take this. You go find the nearest library. Rigsby: Why? (sighs) Jane: Your punishment for being a wuss is I'm not gonna tell ya. Rigsby: Oh, come on. Jane: Nope, I'm not gonna tell you. Rigsby: Fine. Fine. Whatever. Oh, ho! (door opens and closes) Jane: Call when you're there. Cho: So what's the gag? Jane: Oh, there's no gag. I solved the case. Cho: I thought you already did that. I thought that's why we're waiting here. Jane: Nope. This is, uh... Well... this is more of a fishing expedition. You know, maybe we get a bite Maybe we don't. That's the fun of it. We just sit back, relax, dangle our feet in the water. Jane: This guy predicted that by the year 2000, every American household will have a fax machine. Can you believe that? I had a fax machine. You? Cho: Yeah. Jane: Nostradamus of office equipment. Cho: See, this is why I don't like fishing. We not gonna catch anything. Jane: We have some very tasty bait. I'm very confident. Cho: Did you consider that the kller found the money already? Jane: I don't think it was money they were looking for. I don't think Monica ever her it. Cho: Then what did she have then? And who has the money? Salesman's House: Great bones. Original mid century detail. Great new copper piping that... (door creaks) Jane: Hello. Did you have a fax machine in 2000? Cho: No cause for alarm, sir. We're law enforcement officers. CBI. Saleman: Kimball... Cho. Okay. What are you doing here, Kimball? Is there a problem? Cho: It's an ongoing investigation, sir. We can't give out any details. Jane: Grisly homicide, though. Saleman: Why don't we take a look at that duplex on Royston? Shall we? Jane: That's a good call. (door creaks) Cho: Damn it. Jane: Relax. Cho: He got my name. Jane: Well, you spoke the truth. We are an ongoing investigation. Cho: Yeah, but we're supposed to be working 100% straight. This is not that. (door creaks) Rhonda: I'm—I'm sorry. Wr-wrong address. Jane: Rhonda! Come back. Rhonda: I'm here out of curiosity, that's all. Jane: Well, of course. Rhonda: I've got nothing else to say without my lawyer. Jane: You don't need to say anything. I knew it was you from the start. Cho: Thanks for sharing. Jane: Well, when I say I-I knew it was her, I-I mean, I-I guessed, I subconsciously thought it was her when I saw a photo of her holding large check outside cedars of zion. It was you that stole the $1 million from your own company. Rhonda: Why would I do that? Jane: Well, degenerate gambling would be my guess but whatever your problem is, when thr*at with exposure, you made a deal with poor Monica. If she'd take the blame and disappear you'd get Hansel into the best Cancer program in California and pay her a monthly wage to stay gone. Rhonda: That's absurd. Jane: But then Ansel got cured, and there's way Monica was gonna stay gone, not much longer. Then you had to silence her. Rhonda: That's pure fiction. You have no proof at all. Jane: We... we have proof. Wait. Yeah, where is it? Here it is. Yep. (clears throat) This is gonna be good. (beep) (dialing) Rigsby: Yep, I'm here. I know, I know. "The Fax Machine Revolution" is a library book, and Monica Dunninger swapped it. Hold on. I'm checking it. All right. Got it. Wait up. Looks like an accounts book. There's a DVD in it. Monica: "This is just to say that... in case something happens to me, that I swear on the bible that everything in the account book is the truth. I know that I've pretty much lost your love and respect for good. But I hope that this deal that I've made would help Ansel get better and will make up for some of the hurt that I've caused. I love you all so much, especially you, Kessie, even though you think I don't. I'm just so sorry for this mess that I've made. Please forgive me. Goodbye." (TV turns off) Lisbon: The book spells out the deal. Monica took the fall for her boss so that Hansel would have the best possible treatment. Nice work. (sobbing) (whispers) Oh. (Kessie continues sobbing) (imitating Bosco) Jane: Sam Bosco here. CBI major crimes program. Question. How do I go about changing my use access passcode? I go strong reason to believe it's been compromised. Yeah, great. Sure. Sure, I can hold.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x01 - Redemption"}	foreverdreaming
Jane: What's the fuss? Cho: Slept through Lisbon's briefing in the van, didn't you? Jane: Like a baby. Cho: Yeah, the victim's name is Kristin Marley. She worked at the state capitol for some lady senator, went missing three days ago. Rumor is she was having an affair with the senator's husband. Rigsby: My bet—she's a jumper. Van Pelt: I hope not. Cho: If she's a jumper, job's done. Rigsby: Yeah, the senator's husband dumps her, she wants to make him feel bad, she comes out here... Splat. Van Pelt: Don't talk that way. Rigsby: Okay, not splat. Bam. Van Pelt: There's nothing worse than su1c1de. Human life is sacred. When someone takes their own life, it's a tragedy. Lisbon: Sacramento P. D.'s handing the case over to us. Let's go talk to the coroner. Shall I recap the case, sleepyhead? Jane: Kristin Marley— lady senator's aide, rumored romance with the senator's husband. Lisbon: Very good. Jane: Oh, I trained myself to hear and take in information while asleep. Lisbon: The others told you? Jane: Yes, they did. Coroner: At this point, there's no way to determine what happened to the victim, agent Lisbon. I-I simply can't help you. Lisbon: Well, can you tell how long she's been dad? Coroner: I couldn't possibly, given the evidence available. Lisbon: Do you think it was a homicide or a su1c1de? Coroner: Couldn't say. Jane: What's your guess? Coroner: I'm not in the habit of—of guessing. Please don't touch the decedent. You—you—you detectives always want the instant answers. What I do is science. Science will uncover the truth, but she will be precise, methodical and take her time before she renders her decision. Rigsby: I wonder if science can remove the stick from his butt. Coroner: I heard that. Jane: You're right. We want facts. Fortunately, we have them. Coroner: Oh, we do? Jane: In abundance. Coroner: You're the consultant that pretends to read minds, aren't you? Jane: No. I don't pretend to read minds. I do read minds. But don't we all? Look at lisbon. You can see what she's thinking. Lisbon: No kidding. Jane: And I can see what you're thinking right now. Coroner: Uh, i-i was thinking that you, sir, are a bumptious fool, and I was wondering exactly what training in forensic pathology you have. Jane: Ah, but right before that, you were wondering whether you would choose Lisbon or Van Pelt as your concubine in that little fantasy kingdom you like to go to sometimes. Coroner: I... I do not. Jane: Oh, and—and you're right. I-I know nothing of forensic pathology. But agent Van Pelt— she might offer her theory. Van Pelt: Or I might not. Jane: Look at her feet. Van Pelt: I did. Jane: And what question presents itself? Van Pelt: Where's her other shoe? Jane: Exactly. Cho: It wasn't up on the bridge. Rigsby: It could be in her car. Lisbon: Even if it was, why would she walk to the middle of the bridge with one shoe on? Why would she do that? Jane: Bingo! Lisbon: There's no need to be patronizing. Van Pelt: So she must have been carried. She didn't kll herself. She was mrder, then dropped over. Rigsby: Or thrown over still alive. Better than su1c1de. Jane: Yes. Coroner: It's... A theory. Jane: It's lovely to meet you, doc. You're a horse's ass, but you mean well. I'll be in the van. Lisbon: My apologies, sir. Cho, tell the Sacramento P. D. That it's a homicide. Rigsby, Van Pelt, see what the sheriff's department got in their investigation. Rigsby: All right. Dede: Kristin had been interning here for about nine months. She came in at the start of the last session, right out of college. I liked her. She was sweet, young—in a good way. Lisbon: Who did she work for? Dede: Senator Melinda Batson. She's an up-and-comer from the central valley. Please put that down. Lisbon: Anything to the rumor that Kristin was having an affair with batson's husband? Dede: Elliott Batson— he's Melinda's chief of staff. We've heard the rumors. Everyone denies it. There's no evidence anything happened. Lisbon: The media seem to think there is. Dede: You want to get me started on what they believe? Frankly, when you've worked here as long as I have, you hear a lot of stories about wild behavior. Most of them aren't true. Jane: Except the ones that are. Sorry. Lisbon: Hello? Jane: Hello? Hello? Hello? Melinda: I've issued a statement, and I'm not taking any questions. Lisbon: We're not press. We're CBI. Agent Teresa Lisbon, Patrick Jane. Melinda: Right. Sorry. You called. Melinda Batson. This is my husband Elliott. Elliott: Hi. Tough day around here. Jane: Is this Kristin's desk? Melinda: Yes. Come inside. Lisbon: Jane. Care to join us? Jane: I'll be right there. Lisbon: Anything unusual aboutKKristin's behavior the day she disappeared? Elliott: No, she was, uh, cheerful. Finished work, left at 6:00, I think, uh... Melinda: A little after 6:00. Elliott: After 6:00 then. Lisbon: Did she say where she was going? Melinda: No. Elliott: No. Meinda: She... Was having trouble with her family. Elliott: It was her stepmother, right? Melinda: Her natural parents are dad, and for some reason, her stepmother called a bunch of times that day. Lisbon: Did Kristin tell you what it was about? Melinda No. Melinda: No. I-I was surprised. I-I thought they were estranged. Lisbon: What was your relationship to Kristin, Mr. Batson? Melinda: Oh, please. Please. We know where you're going with this. Elliott: Melinda, I— Melinda: No, let's just haul the trash out in the open. You want to know if she and Elliott were sleeping together. Lisbon: Were you? Elliott: Never. It's a rumor. That's all. Lisbon: Rumors usually happen for a reason. Elliott: Well... Melinda: I'll give you the reason— politics. You want to take a female politician down a few notches? Throw mud on her marriage. Lisbon: Where were you the night Kristin was klled? Elliott: Here. I was on a conference call with a trade delegation from Taiwan. We talked until after 11:00. Melinda: I was with him the whole time. Elliott: We'll be married three years this october, and... Today's news excepted, uh, we've never been happier. Jane: That's hard to believe. Melinda: What does that mean? Jane: Well, there's nothing going on between you right now. Elliott: Excuse me? What? Jane: I'm sorry. I-I meant sexually, no heat. Right? Melinda: I think we're done here. Jane: You'd think a politician would have thicker skin. Lisbon: You accused them of lying about their sex life, and you're surprised they're upset? Jane: Oh, come on. You're buying that happy talk? Really? Lisbon: Agent Minelli, sir. Minelli: Agent Lisbon. Walter: I asked him down. Uh, Walter Crew, Melinda Batson's dad. You're agents, uh, Jane and Lisbon? Lisbon: Yeah, we are. Walter: Sorry to track you down like this. I asked Virgil here to introduce me to the team handling the poor Marley girl's case. Minelli: Walter has been a friend of the CBI for some time. He was an extremely influential legislator for what, 20 years? Walter: 26, but who's counting? Anyway, I'm old news now. The only thing I lobby for is a good tee time. Jane: Why the interest in the poor Marley girl's case? Walter: Interest? I liked her. Yeah, met her in Melinda's office. She was good people, came from a tough background— didn't let that stop her. I know how difficult it is to get straight answers from the people in that building there. If you have any problems, you just let me know. I can still knock heads. Lisbon: Oh, we'll be fine. Walter: Just let me know. Virgil. Minelli: Walter. Walter: Take care. Minelli: Sir. I hate walks, Lisbon. I know they're healthy. I don't care. Put me in a chair, I'm a happy man. But when Walter Crew asked me to stroll with him down to the capitol, I say, "of course, Walter. You get my drift? Lisbon: I do. Minelli: Step carefully. I want daily reports. Oh, and, uh, how did the batson interview go? Jane: Oh, that was very exciting. Minelli: What did he do? Lisbon: Nothing that can't be repaired. Carmen: Teresa, nice of you to drop by. Lisbon: I know I'm late. I'm sorry. Carmen: "Late" is an interesting word in this context. You were supposed to be here... 42 minutes ago. Lisbon: I know. The point is, I'm here now. We're supposed to talk, so let's talk. Carmen: I have another patient scheduled in eight minutes. Lisbon: I can talk fast. Carmen: This is the third time you've been late. Lisbon: What can I say? Lot of people getting klled. Can I get a coffee? Carmen: Do you know why counseling is mandatory for CBI agents who've been involved in a sh*ting? Lisbon: Because nobody would come if it was voluntary? Carmen: And that's what it remains mandatory until I sign and file this form. See you next week. Lisbon: This is unnecessary. I'm fine. I'm not traumatized. Carmen: A man pointed a gn at you, a man who intended to kll you. Lisbon: Fortunately, Jane sht him first. Carmen: It doesn't matter. You went from thinking you were going to be klled to watching a man die— two of the most wrenching experiences we can have— and you went through them in seconds. You don't think that affected you? Lisbon: No. Carmen: You really want to keep seeing me, don't you? Next week, on time. Lisbon: Fine. Jane: There's a stain on the ceiling that looks like Elvis, but today, it looks more like a... Basset hound. Cho: Someone call the media. It's a miracle. Jane: Or maybe someone's moved my couch. Cho? Did you move my couch? Cho: No. Why would i? Jane: Excuse me? Did you move the couch? Art: I had to, uh, change a light. Problem? Jane: No, no, no. Can you help me move it back, please? I got a thing i... Thanks. Just up there. I think it's this way. Just a little. That's it. Let me just try to... Perfect. Thank you. Elvis is back. Lisbon: Anything on the stepmom? Rigsby: Her name's Charlotte Mcadoo. She called Kristin 11 times in the two days before she disappeared. Lisbon: Any idea what that was about? Rigsby: No, but her son Harlan had been picked up on a carJacking charge. He posted bail the day Kristin disappeared, claimed he had nothing to do with the carJacking, said he was with Kristin when it happened. Lisbon: He used Kristin as his alibi? How bad's Harlan? Rigsby: Well, mostly car theft, some asault. Lisbon: What did Charlotte have to say about that? Cho: She won't answer her phone, won't call back. We're heading out to talk to her. Jane: Shouldn't we be looking for Kristin's lover? Van Pelt: Who? Elliott Batson's alibi checked out, and there's no sign she was seeing someone else. We've checked. Jane: Well, not enough. She was an immature romantic looking for escape and adventure. She was having an affair. Lisbon: We searched her place thoroughly. She kept the affair well-hidden. Jane: Well, of course. It's an adventure because it's a secret. But I expect she'll tell us who it was. Lisbon: I'll bite. How? Jane: Check this out. She was a collector. She kept sand from every beach she ever went to. She would have kept a memento of her lover, something small— I bet she kept it in a fancy jewelry box, the kind with a figurine on the lid. Van Pelt: There was a fancy jewelry box like that in her bedroom— a ballerina. Jane: Ballerina—she's the type. Van Pelt: But we checked it. There's nothing in it but cheap jewelry. Jane: Did you check in the secret compartment? Van Pelt: The... Jane: The secret compartment either on the bottom or one of the sides. They usually have one. Lisbon: It's worth taking a look. Van Pelt: Fine. Lisbon: Forget about Bosco. Jane: He's got something. Lisbon: Yeah, he's got Red John, and we don't. Jane: No. No, he's got something new on the case—new evidence. Lisbon: How can you tell? Jane: It's clear as can be. I'll be right back. Lisbon: Jane, Red John belongs to Bosco now. I don't like it either, but you're gonna have to deal with it. Jane: Do you want a coffee? I'm gonna bring you a coffee. Bosco: I need copies of each of these sent over to division. What's he doing in there? Rebecca: He said you told him to wait in there. Bosco: We'll finish later. Get away from my desk. Jane: Where'd you go? I've been here almost half an hour. Bosco: And stop hacking my passcodes and stop hustling my people. It's not doing you any good, you know. Jane: I don't know what you're talking about. What'd you get on Red John? Bosco: And what makes you think I got anything? Jane: The folder— you moved it when you saw me, protected it. It's the one thing you'd protect from me. It's the cover-up that gave you away. What is it? Bosco: It's none of your business, so go. Jane: You need to understand something. Red John doesn't make mistakes. He doesn't leave clues. If you have new evidence, it's because he wants you to have it. The question isn't "what does it mean?" it's "why did he give it to you?" Bosco: That's deep. Jane: Tell me what it is. I can help you. Bosco: Have you ever seen a crack addict when they're begging for a ht? You got that same look in your eye that they get. Jane: You've got me all figured out. Hey, Van Pelt. Did you get it? Van Pelt: There's a secret compartment, just like you said. Jane: And what was in it? Van Pelt: Nothing. It's empty. Jane: All right. Bosco: Bad news, huh? Jane: No, not at all. Bosco: It's like you said—it's the cover-up that gave you away. You're an addict, Jane. You need help. Jane: You're making a mistake. Bosco: You can go. Rigsby: So I got tickets to the Kings game tomorrow night. You want to go? Cho: I'm going out. Rigsby: Who with? Cho: The niece of the shopkeeper we met on that Red John thing. Rigsby: Oh, finally. It took you long enough. Cho: 5-b? Rigsby: Yeah. Cho: Yeah, we talked on the phone. She's nice. We'll see how it goes. Rigsby: Oh, I expect a full report. Cho: In your dreams. Rigsby: Hey, I got you that number. You owe me. Cho: No. Charlotte Mcadoo? Charlotte: Yeah. Rigsby: We need to talk to you about your stepdaughter, Kristin Marley. You know that Kristin's dad, right, Charlotte? Charlotte: What about it? Cho: I guess you're pretty broken up. Charlotte: She wasn't my kid. I'm not the huggy type. Sue me. Cho: If you didn't like Kristin, why'd you make all those calls right before she disappeared? Charlotte: Don't remember. Rigsby: It was a week ago. Charlotte: I'm old. My memory's bad. Cho: Did it have something to do with your son Harlan? Charlotte: What about Harlan? Cho: He used Kristin as an alibi when he was arrested, but Kristin told Sacramento P. D. She hadn't seen harlan for months. Were you asking Kristin to change her story and lie an alibi for her stepbrother? Charlotte: No, that's crazy. Rigsby: Where is harlan? Charlotte: I don't know. I haven't seen him for days. Rigsby: Okay. Thanks for your time. Charlotte: That's... That's it? Cho: We'll see ourselves out. Thank you. You think Charlotte smokes filtered and unfiltered? Rigsby: Not if she's got a visitor. Bathroom or closet? Cho: Bathroom. Rigsby: I think closet. You want to bet? Cho: What do I get if I win? Rigsby: I pay for lunch next week. I win, you tell me about your date. Cho: That's enough time. Rigsby: Hey, harlan. Charlotte: Oh, crap. Rigsby: Harlan, were you in the bathroom or the closet? Harlan: Closet. Wh— Rigsby: Told ya. Cho: We didn't bet. Rigsby: Yes, we did. Harlan: No law against being in a closet. Lisbon: No, Harlan, but it is kinda suspicious. Harlan: You got no right to hold me. Lisbon: We're just talking. Harlan: All right, what do you want to talk about? Cho: Kristin Marley— when did you see her last? Harlan: What happened to her? Cho: You tell us. Harlan: I got nothing to say about her. Cho: You must be mad that she didn't back your alibi on the carJacking charge, huh? Harlan: First of all, that arrest was completely bogus. And "b, " that stuck-up bitch don't get what the word "family" means, so... Cho: What is that? Harlan: Family's supposed to help when you're down. But she gets a job in the capitol with some big money friends, and pow— she's too good for the people she grew up with. She don't get what the word "family" is all about, you know? Lisbon: Didn't. She's dad. Harlan: Yeah. That's too bad. Lisbon: Did you have any contact with Kristin after you posted bail, Harlan? Harlan: No. Lisbon: None? Harlan: That's what I said. Lisbon: It's funny, 'cause our tech guys have been going through her cell phone. There's some deleted texts on it. Four of them were from you the day she disappeared. Harlan: No. That's what you call a-a glitch—computer thing. Cho: You were thrat Kristin to get her to lie for you, right? Harlan: Didn't say that. Cho: I could see why you'd do it. You're facing serious time. Harlan: You arresting me? You got no right to hold me if you ain't. Cho: You're not under arrest, but you are out on bail, and that can be revoked if the judge thinks you're not being cooperative. Lisbon: Do you want a soda, Harlan? Harlan: I want chips. Lisbon: If he took Kristin's body to the bridge, he put her in his trunk. It's worth taking a look. I'll call the district attorney. Cho: If Harlan hears we're looking at his car, he'll be out the door before the warrant comes through. Lisbon: We're gonna make him want to stay. Van Pelt. You're taking over the mcadoo interview. Van Pelt: I'm totally ready for that. I can get him to confess to this. Lisbon: Yeah, maybe. The main thing is, you keep him in there long enough for us to search his car. Be friendly. He thinks he's a player. He'll eat it up. Van Pelt: What do you mean, be friendly? Lisbon: Need a map? Good luck. Rigsby: I heard Bosco cleaned your clock this morning. Jane: Oh, that's one interpretation. Rigsby: I get it. It's tough to have Red John taken away like that. Bet you'd give a lot to know what they're saying in Bosco's office. Jane: Yeah. Yeah, I would. Rigsby: You gotta let it go, man. Forget about the jewelry box. You missed one. So what? Jane: Actually, I didn't. I'm pursuing an independent line of investigation, gonna crack this case in 24 hours. Rigsby: I think we might be ahead of you this time. Van Pelt: Hi, Harlan. I'm agent Van Pelt. Special agent Lisbon asked me to take over the interview. Harlan: Why? Van Pelt: She's busy... With something else. So I've looked through your file, and it's, uh, it's very... Harlan: What? Van Pelt: Well... I don't think you had anything to do with this crime. Harlan: Thank you. That's what I've been saying. Van Pelt: It's just a big misunderstanding, I'm sure. Harlan: Yeah. You got that right. Van Pelt: But let's fill out the forms so everyone's happy, okay? Chips. So let's make a time line of everywhere you've been since Kristin disappeared. Harlan: Okay. You want another? Jane: These all pictures of your daughter? Walter: Yes, they are. Jane: Oh, it's surprising there's not more pictures of you, given your standing, that is. Walter: What, me talking to a bunch of famous windbags? Had those, took 'em down. Waste of space. Jane: Thank you. Walter: No, my days are over. Melinda has got the future. She could go far, very far, if she listens to me. Now what did you want to talk about? Jane: How long were you sleeping with Kristin Marley before she was klled? Walter: What makes you think I was? Jane: You're a politician— ambitious, narcissistic, addicted to the love of strangers. She was beautiful, impressionable, no doubt flattered by your attentions. And you're not the sort of man to deny yourself an object of desire. Walter: I'm married 38 years, Mr. Jane. Jane: As I said. Walter: Uh, even if what you say is true— and I'm not saying it is— what does that have to do with poor Kristin's mrder? Jane: Blackmail or something like it. The business adultery leads to. Walter: But even if I am what you say I am— and I'm not saying I am— wouldn't I have faced a situation like this before and handled it without klling anybody? Jane: It's a good point. I'll think about that. Walter: Please. Anything else? Jane: What? Sorry? Well, whoever it is, I'll have the kller by the morning, so, uh, you should act accordingly. Thank you for your time. Cho: You think harlan ever cleans out his car? Rigsby: So where you taking the shopkeeper's niece for dinner? Cho: I'd rather not talk about it. Rigsby: Why not? Cho: It's private. Rigsby: Oh, come on. Cho: Let's talk about somethin' else. Rigsby: I'll call technical services. They can pop that lock in 20 seconds. Cho: It'll take 'em 2 hours to get here. Rigsby: It took you two hours to open the door last time you tried this, and we had to pay for the busted window. Cho: Fluke. Rigsby: If I had a date, I'd tell you about it. Cho: Yeah. Rigsby: I would, tell you anything you wanted to know. Cho: Okay, you ever gonna man up and make a move on Van Pelt? Rigsby: Fine. Don't tell me. Cho: Right. Rigsby: Check this out. Wasn't the other one of these on Kristin Marley's foot? Cho: I'll call Lisbon. Lisbon: Kristin's shoe was in your trunk. Harlan: No. No way. Lisbon: You want to tell us how it got there, Harlan? Harlan: I don't know. Maybe you put it there, huh? Lisbon: You have no alibi for the night of Kristin's disappearance. Harlan: I told you. I was with my mom. Lisbon: She was concealing you when we went to pick you up. It's not gonna cut it. Van Pelt: You were mad at Kristin. Harlan: A little, but— - Van Pelt: You thrat her. Harlan: No. Okay, I mean, a-a little, but come on. I-I wouldn't hurt her for real. Lisbon: That's not much of a story, harlan. Harlan: I thought you believed me. Van Pelt: You were wrong. Harlan: You know what? The hell with this. I'm outta here. Lisbon: Not quite yet. Harlan: Oh, you're gonna stop me? Lisbon: Yeah. Jane: Did you make the arrest? Lisbon: I did. Jane: Ah, victory is yours. Lisbon: Yes, it is. What? Jane: Oh, nothing. Lisbon: Come on. Jane: No. No. Lisbon: I'm still waiting. Jane: Throwing the body off the bridge was a smart move— good chance the coroner would declare it a su1c1de. Do you really think Harlan Mcadoo would come up with that? Lisbon: Dumb people can come up with smart ideas, and smart people can come up with dumb ones. Jane: Eh, true. I'll have the real kller here in 12 hours or so. Lisbon: What are you talking about? Jane: You'll see. Bye. Lisbon: Jane. Cho: Hey, boss, you want me to send mcadoo down to be arraigned? Lisbon: Not yet. Sit on him. See if he comes up with something useful once he calms down. Melinda: Obviously, you've got to get it out of committee before— Mr. Jane? Jane: Don't mind me. Melinda: What are you doing? Jane: Hard at work, on the case. Elliott: I don't understand. We got a call from agent Minelli saying that an arrest had been made—Kristin's stepbrother. Jane: Nope, nope, nope. Wrong guy. Elliott: How can that be? Jane: Simple miscarriage of justice, happens all the time. Melinda: What does that mean? Jane: It means I have to find the real kller. Melinda: The real kller? How? Jane: Oh, Kristin was a collector. Ergo, the identity of Kristin's kller will be in her things. Elliott: How can you be sure it's there? Jane: Oh, I'm sure. Melinda: Mr. Jane, this isn't acceptable. First you accost my father— Jane: oh, I wouldn't use the word "accost." Melinda: Now you're ransacking my office. Elliott: Calm down, Melinda. Melinda: I won't calm down. I thought we put this behind us. Jane: Not much of a campaign slogan— "Batson—so tough on crime, she puts the innocent behind bars." Elliott: Do what you have to do. Uh, we'll help in any way we can. Jane: Great. Thank you. There's a couple of boxes right there, if you could just, uh, grab one each and follow me to my car. Minelli: Lisbon, didn't you arrest mcadoo? Lisbon: Yeah, we did. Minelli: D.A.Says you haven't sent him down to be arraigned. Lisbon: We have 48 hours to do that. We still have some loose ends. Minelli: What—what loose ends? Him? Lisbon: No. Minelli: What are you doing? No, don't tell me. I want this off my desk. Get Mcadoo to the D.A. Tonight. Jane: How hard is Crew leaning on you? Minelli: He's not. Jane: Then who's doing it for him? Minelli: No one. Lisbon: Is this my case, sir? Minelli: Yes, but— Lisbon: Then it's my decision as to when the suspect is handed over to the district attorney, right? Minelli: If Mcadoo isn't in the D.A.'s office first thing tomorrow morning, this becomes a different conversation. Jane: You won't regret this. Lisbon: I already do. Lisbon: Hey, this is Lisbon. Leave a message. I'll call you back. Jane: I found what I was looking for. I don't want to risk taking it out of the office, so I'm gonna put it in the top right-hand drawer of your desk. When you get this, call me. "Ah Ha" Janitor: You—you startled me. I'll... I'll just get out of your way. Lisbon: Stand still. Turn around. Art: What is this? Lisbon: Who are you and who are you working for? Art: I work for the building. I clean. I clean. Jane: Oh, you're not a cleaner. Look at this place. It's a mess. You're the fixer. You've been listening in on our conversations. What's that? That's one of the bugs you placed. I found it in the overhead light. When I told Van Pelt to go and check out the jewelry box, you overheard and you went there first. And it was you that placed the shoe in mcadoo's trunk. Art: I'm on the cleaning crew. Jane: Oh, really? Art: I'm new. You can call my supervisor. Marty, uh, Marty, uh, Toretta, huh? Call him up right now. Jane: No. Art: Wake him up. I got no idea what you're talking about here. Lisbon: We're talking about accessory to mrder, conspiracy, obstruction. Who hired you? Art: mrder? Oh, i-i don't feel too good. Can I sit—can i— - Jane: Oh, take a seat. Art: Thanks. All right. No, no, no. Calm. Are you calm? Jane: Sure. Art: All right, now I want you to lift your gn out with two fingers and slide it across the floor. Now get your cuffs. Lisbon: This isn't gonna work. Art: The door— hook yourself up. Toss the keys. Now you and I are gonna walk out here. Jane: Sure. It's a little stroll. Lisbon: Find out where he goes. Jane: Oh, no, I think— Lisbon: Go, now! Go! Keys, please. There. Yeah. Melinda: so, agent Lisbon, here we are. What's this about? Lisbon: This is Art Cavalleri. He's the private investigator one of you hired to wiretap and obstruct our investigation. Walter: Really? Lisbon: He's agreed to talk in exchange for leniency. I called you down here to offer you the same deal. Walter: Well, that's very nice of you. You can discuss it with my attorney. Melinda? Melinda: I have nothing to say. Lisbon: Even if you had nothing to do with Kristin Marley's mrder, with what cavalleri is saying about the conspiracy and the cover-up, you're all gonna do a lot of time in prison. Walter: I don't need to hear any more. Elliott: W-wait. I-I do. What kind of leniency are we talking about here? Melinda: Elliott. Lison: Depends, mr. Batson. What do you know? Elliott: I need an assurance that any charges related to the mrder will be dropped. Got it, as long as you didn't have anything to do with the mrder. Walter: If you'll excuse us, I want some private time with my family right now. Lisbon: Mr. Crew, stay there. Go on. Jane: Oh, come on. Spit it out, man. The marriage is a sham. She's gay. You're the beard. It was kind of obvious from the start. Elliott: I had an arrangement with Melinda. Walter: Elliott, don't. Elliot: I agreed to marry Melinda in exchange for... Certain financial considerations. Walter: Batson, we had a deal. Jane: Did that deal include time in prison? I don't think so. So it was your own people that started the rumor about you and Kristin— to hide her affair with Melinda. Elliott: Yes. I'm sorry, Melinda. Kristin broke it off shortly before she disappeared. Melinda was upset. Lisbon: And were you with Melinda the night Kristin disappeared? Elliott: No. I didn't see her until late that night. She was... A mess. But she wouldn't tell me what had happened. Lisbon: Kristin had something hidden in her apartment— a memento, I guess. Jane: Lovers' memento. Lisbon: Cavalleri had found it, but we took it out of his car. It could be a "W, " but I think it's an "M." You and your father were both having an affair with Kristin. Melinda: No. No. I— Walter: Melinda. Melinda: I had a relationship with Kristin. He seduced her... Took her... The way he's taken women his whole life. Walter: I was trying to make a point. Melinda: You were what? Walter: I was trying to show you— Melinda: what? Jane: She was just another girl, that she was just another trashy little girl. You thought you were in love, but she was just having a fling. He believed that you were giving away a very bright political career because of some strumpet. Lisbon: What happened that night? Melinda, every day you don't talk is another day you're on the news. Melinda: I knew Kristin was seeing someone, but I didn't know who it was. So I followed her... And that's when I saw my father. After he left, I went into her apartment. She had these stone bookends. I grabbed one. Next thing I knew, Kristin was on the floor. It just... Happened. And then I did what I always do when I'm in trouble. I called daddy. He said he knew someone who could fix it. Jane: Ah, the fixer. You can let cavalleri go now. Watch. Melinda: Oh, my god. He's dad. Jane: Yeah. Minelli: You abused a corpse to get a confession. Jane: Used. Used a corpse. There's no "ab." Minelli: I'm appalled. I'm... I don't know what to say. Lisbon: Sir, it's not like we k*lled him. His neck was broken in the crash. Jane: We got a confession. Minelli: Suppose you didn't. Suppose you'd been wrong. Have you any idea of the vastness of the crap storm that would follow? It would blot out the sun. Lisbon: Sir, Crew and Batson manipulated us into arresting the wrong person. They bugged our offices and subverted our case. I don't think we did anything wrong. I think we should be commended. Minelli: Congratulations. You finally got her to drink the kool-aid. Check yourself, agent. All of you. Jane: Well, I thought that went pretty well. Lisbon: Great, yeah. Jane: Highlight for me was definitely your speech— passionate, articulate, strong. Lisbon: Whatever. Rigsby: Hey, good work with Mcadoo you know, keeping him here. Van Pelt: Yeah. You know, if boss had given me a chance, I think I could have gotten him to confess. Rigsby: Sure, if he wasn't, you know, innocent. If it wasn't for that small fact, I'm sure you'd have taken him to town. Van Pelt: Thanks. Rigsby: You have any plans for tonight? Van Pelt: Home, TV. Rigsby: Well... Have fun. Van Pelt: You, too. Cho: You're gonna die alone. Rebecca: Sir? Jane: Morning. Rebecca: Yeah. Sir, you can't go in there. Jane: No, it's okay. I come in peace. great color on you. Bosco: Go away. Jane: Just give me a minute, please. I-I want you, and I want your team to know that I got it. I got the message. I got it. The Red John case... Belongs to you. Bosco: You're gonna leave us alone? Jane: Yeah, that's right. Bosco: I don't believe that. Jane: I brought you doughnuts— the international law enforcement symbol of friendship. I am trusting you to catch Red John. I'm counting on it. Bosco: We will catch him. Thanks. Jane: Good hunting. Bosco: Hicks, take that away. Take it far away. Take it out of the building. God know what he put in there. Hicks: You got it. Bosco: All right, let's go over the most recent forensics. There are two short, linear incised wounds that are extremely superficial. They involve the anterior surface of the right wrist, which measures 0. 8 inches. Okay, you got it. Don't tell the locals what it's for. Policeman: Yeah, no worries. Just say you're following up on something. Bosco: I want to keep this on the down low for now. Now what else did you get from handwriting analysis? Policeman: We've had two guys look at it— one local, one from d. C., and of course they agree on pretty much nothing. Figures. Bosco: What did the D. C. Guy say?	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x02 - The Scarlet Letter"}	foreverdreaming
Lisbon is sitting on the couch in Dr Carmen's office, while he sits on a chair nearby. Neither of them says anything for a while. Lisbon: We do this too, you know. Dr. Carmen: What's that? Lisbon: Silence as a wapon. Make people uneasy. Make them talk. Dr. Carmen: I get paid whether you talk or not, Teresa. Lisbon: CBI's been paying you for 5 weeks now, doctor. This was supposed to be routine. Dr. Carmen: Routine like you have to see me after a shting, sure. Not routine like I have to sign off on you. Lisbon: I didn't even pull the trigger on Tanner, Jane did. You signed off on him after one session. Dr. Carmen: He has good mental health. Lisbon: Now I want to see your licence to practise! Dr. Carmen: Ha ha Lisbon: Ha ha. I've got 6 open cases. I'm testifying in 2 more. I don't have time... Dr. Carmen: It's not as if you have anything to talk about. Your mom dad when you were 12; 3 younger brothers; abusive, alcoholic dad, now dad also. Lisbon: It doesn't say abusive. Dr. Carmen: But he was, yes? Lisbon: This coffee tastes like crap. Seriously. Are we done? Dr. Carmen: No. Let's talk about what you want to talk about. What do you do for fun? Lisbon: Fun? Dr. Carmen: That thing when you're not working. Lisbon: I...uh... what does this have to do with... (her phone rings and she answers) Lisbon. (listens) I'll be right there. (She hangs up.) Dr. Carmen: Duty calls. I get it. (She shrugs and gets up.) Lisbon: Dr Carmen, why won't you sign off on me? Dr. Carmen: Because there's something you want to tell me first. (She looks puzzled.) I'll see you next week. (She leaves.) Lisbon, Jane, Cho and Rigsby are walking down an alleyway. Van Pelt is already there waiting for them. Lisbon: How'd we catch this one? Cho: Switchboard got an anonymous call saying there's a dad body. It's two blocks from us. Here we are. Van Pelt: There's just one problem. Jane: No body? Van Pelt: No body. Rigsby: Ah, not the dumpsters. Please not the dumpsters. Lisbon: Look around for the body. See what you see. (She and Jane stand to one side while the others look for the body.) Jane: Shrink day, huh? Lisbon: No. Jane: Yes. Yes. You have the line between your eyebrows. He annoys you, and besides you smell a little of his cigar smoke. Lisbon: I'm annoyed because I forgot my cell-phone. Jane: Oh, right. Lisbon: (calls to Cho) Cho, anything? Cho: Nothing. Jane (sees a line of ants moving along the wall behind them): Did you know that if you weighed every living thing on Planet Earth, a quarter of that biomass would be just ants? Lisbon: That's a lot of ants. Jane: It is. Lisbon: (calls again) Cho, anything? Cho: No sign of a body. Lisbon: Alright then, look in the dumpsters. Let's get out of here. Van Pelt: I did it last time. Rigsby: Oh, man, I just got this suit. Cho: All right, rock paper scissors, on three. Ready? One, two, three. (Rigsby wins and looks very happy. Cho gets out some latex gloves.) Rigsby: Yes! Hehe. Jane: It's been dry this fall. No rain. Lisbon: Like tinder. Jane: Hm. That's why those ants are looking for moisture wherever they can find it (points to the line of ants on the wall). Lisbon: Then why aren't all the ants in the wet, stinky dumpsters? Jane: Exactly. (Jane and Lisbon follow the line of ants.) Because they've found somewhere else where there's a little more m... (There's a big metal sliding door in the way.) Ah... (calls) Rigsby! Little help here. Lisbon: Ah, please! (She slides the door open and a body rolls out. The others come over and Rigsby crouches next to the body.) Rigsby: Looks like three to the chest point-blank. Van Pelt: Perfect triangle formation. Cho: No brass. Looks like the sh*t took the shell casings with him. Pro job. Rigsby: I can't find any ID. Call forensics, run it for prints. (Jane has been watching Lisbon's expression. He looks at her.) Jane: Who is he? Lisbon: Name's William McTeer. From San Francisco. Serial child rpist. Served six years at Pelican Bay. Jane: And you know this how? Lisbon: I'm the one who sent him there. Jane: Huh. Lisbon: (Starts walking away) We're near Marie's doughnuts. Anyone want to go for a bear-claw after? Jane: (Looks at the body and makes a face.) Can't say I'm hungry. Jane and Lisbon are sitting in her office on either side of a table which has a row of 4 upturned mugs on it. They have their eyes shut. Lisbon: Jane, we have a case. You think I have time for games? Jane: Life is a game. You have plenty of time for that. Shh. Shh. (opens his eyes and looks at her) Let me read your thoughts. I want you to take a deep breath in... (she does) and out... (she does). Will you concentrate? (She nods) Name as many 20th century presidents as you can... now. Lisbon: Uh, Coolidge, Wilson, Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Truman, Kennedy, Nixon, LBJ... Jane: Good. Take another breath in... (she does, somewhat impatiently) and out... (she does). Concentrate on which mug it is under. I am listening to your thoughts. Don't shout, I can hear you. Open your eyes. (She does, and looks at him quizzically. He lifts up the second mug and takes out a $20 bill.) Lisbon: Well, you did have a 25% sht. Jane: We could do it all day and I would get it every time. Lisbon: Gimme that (she takes the money and starts to lift the mugs). How'd you do it? Jane: You told me, Lisbon. Our minds are in sync. In fact right now, right now I'm feeling something (she looks amused). I'm getting it right here (he shuts his eyes and presses his fingers against the middle of his forehead between his eyes), it's a... it's a nickname... Saint Teresa. (She looks surprised.) How come you never told me how you know Agent Bosco? In the bullpen, Van Pelt is pulling up old newspaper articles on her computer. Cho and Rigsby stand behind her, looking over her shoulder. There's an article with a picture of Lisbon with short hair, the title of which reads "Saint Teresa: Hero Cop Nabs Molester". Van Pelt: Look, another one. Lisbon was like a rock star for a while. Cho: What's with her hair? Lisbon and Jane come into the bullpen. Lisbon: What's wrong with my hair? Cho: Nothing. Van Pelt: The McTeer case made your career and you never said a word. You're like a superhero with a secret identity. Lisbon: You want to know the deal? Fine. McTeer ht the Bay area for 18 months. He attcked 7 girls between the ages of 6 and 9. I was the SFPD inspector who caught it. I inspected, took McTeer down. Now, what've you got? Rigsby: BFS found the sht's gn a block away in a trash bin. They're running it for prints now. Van Pelt: (reading from another article) "Inspector Lisbon's actions were lauded as heroic by city officials and her SFPD colleagues. Said her supervisor, Lt Samuel Bosco..." Jane: (mimicking Bosco's accent) "Inspector Lisbon did an exemplary job tracking down and arresting this animal." Bosco: Well, that's pretty good. You should get an act together. Can you do Barbara Streisand? Jane: Don't tempt me. Bosco: So, I heard about McTeer. Lisbon: Weird, huh? Here we are after how many years? Bosco: Too many. Have you spoken to Dreyer? He'd be my favourite. Jane: Dreyer Whelan, father of the last victim, Katie, 7 years old. Promised to kll McTeer on release. Lisbon: I called him. He's on his way down from Moran. Bosco: You're all over it. Let me know if you need any help. For old time's sake. Jane: (mimicking him again) "For old time's sake." Lisbon: (to Van Pelt) Here's McTeer's address. Parole officer says he's got a live-in girlfriend. Go and talk to her. Van Pelt: (making a face) He has a girlfriend? Jane: I think I'll go with her. Lisbon: Good idea. Rigsby. Check up on McTeer's old friends from the paedophile world, especially those who might have moved from San Francisco to Sacramento. Rigsby: Sure, Boss. Lisbon: Cho and I have a trial meeting with the deputy Dag. Cho: Not if I throw myself into on-coming traffic first. Van Pelt and Jane are interviewing McTeer's girlfriend at her apartment. Van Pelt: Miss Derask, what was your relationship with William McTeer. Tanya: He was my fiancé. Van Pelt: Fiancé? Tanya: You have a problem with that? Jane: Oh, she just can't see how a woman could fall in love with a convicted paedophile. Not the best husband material. Tanya: Bill was a good man. A good provider. And he treated me like a queen. Those charges in San Francisco were totally bogus anyway. That **** cop had it in for him. A vendetta is what Bill called it. David: I had to clean out the trap for the clog w... Hey. Tanya: It's the police. About Bill. My brother came over to fix the sink for me. David: (holds his hand out to Jane) David. Jane: (shakes his hand) Patrick. David: (to Van Pelt) Hey. Jane: That's Grace. Van Pelt: David, did you know William McTeer? David: I met him a couple of times. He treated Tanya good, so, you know. Anyway, I've just got to re-attach it and you're all set, T. Nice meeting you guys. (He leaves) Jane: You too. Van Pelt: Do you know anyone who would want to harm William? Tanya: Well, it's probably nothing, but he had a fight with his boss last week. Came home all moody. Said the guy was out to get him. Van Pelt: Who's his boss? Tanya: Some pipsqueak. I don't know. Uh, XXXYZ Incorporated is the name of the place, I think. It's over on Winley, near the highway. (A little girl comes running in and hugs her mother). Emily: Hey, Mom. Tanya: Hey, Emily, baby. How was school? Emily: I can multiply my 6's. Want to hear? Tanya: Wow. Maybe a little later, okay. (looks at Van Pelt) Bill wasn't who you think. Jane: (crouches down at Emily's level) Hey, Emily. I'm Patrick. How are you? Emily: Good. Jane: Good day, huh? Six times tables, huh? Wow. Why don't you go into the kitchen and help your Uncle David. Tanya: It's okay, sweetie. (Emily goes out.) Jane: See ya. I don't think McTeer touched Emily. Tanya: See. I told you. Van Pelt: Because he was still grooming her. Tanya: You don't know what you're talking about. Jane: You met Bill at a shopping mall, didn't you? Near the video arcade or the movie theatre. Emily was with you. Tanya: He worked there back then. Jane: Yeah. Real gentleman. Not like your other guys. He never pressured you to have sex. It wasn't love at first sight, but he was just so good with Emily. He listened to her. Nobody listened to you like that growing up. Tanya: Bill wanted to be a father. My girl doesn't deserve a father? Jane: Lately he'd been asking if he could take Emily away on an overnight trip. Maybe camping. A little father-daughter bonding. He'd been pressuring you to say yes, just a little, but just enough to start to nag you. A tiny, little scratching nag. That maybe what you felt deep down was right; that William McTeer was too good to be true. You deserve a good man, Tanya. If you can't believe that for yourself, then just pretend, for Emily's sake. We done here? Good, cause I gotta eat. I'm starving. Van Pelt: Yeah. Jane: Alright. Cho and Lisbon go into a conference room at the CBI where the deputy Dag is waiting for them. Dag: You each are the state's key witnesses in a few cases this month. Agent Lisbon, you've got Howard and Ang; Agent Cho, you've got Ringman, Daily and Freed. Cho: Freed. Freed bit me. Dag: And be sure to mention that on the stand. Teresa, you remember Howard? He and his syndicate stole a hundred million dollars from the online accounts of thousands of people. Lisbon: And then he stashed the money and klled his partner? I remember him. The guy's creepy. Dag: The guy's going to prison, thanks to Agent Lisbon and her cool, calm expertise. Lisbon: That's me, cool and calm. Dag: So glad this isn't a Jane case. You have got to tell him, Teresa, that he cannot thrat people with bmb to get a confession. No rubber masks, no monster suits... Rigsby enters. Rigsby: Hey. We have a problem. The AFIS got a print off the gn that klled McTeer. Cho: And that's a problem? Rigsby: Yeah. Boss, the print is yours. (Lisbon looks stunned.) Lisbon and Minelli are in Minelli's office. Minelli: Your fingerprint is on the magazine of the mrder wapon. Tell me why I shouldn't be throwing up in the bathroom right now? Lisbon: It's a lab error. It must be. They're overworked and underfunded. This happened last year with the LAPD. Just have them re-test it. Come on! You don't think I did this? Minelli: What I think is that I am up to my asterisks in political quicksand. You and your team are off the McTeer case, obviously. Lisbon: I understand. Are we throwing it to the FBI? Minelli: No. Bosco comes in. Bosco: Hey, Lisbon. How about this, huh? Lisbon: Bosco. Minelli: He knows as much about the McTeer case as you do. It makes sense. And yes, I had to pull some strings. Lisbon: Thank you. I guess. Minelli: No, don't misunderstand me. If you're guilty, I want you nailed. I just don't want the Feebs strolling around my offices asking impertinent questions. Lisbon: Okay. Bosco: So you understand I have to ask you some questions now. Nothing personal. Lisbon: Absolutely. sht. Jane comes in. Jane: Hi, everybody. Ahh, well, bet you wish you wore some gloves, huh? Bosco: You have some input here? Jane: No, just nosey. Lisbon: It's okay, he can stay if he wants to. Jane: I'll stay. Bosco: Where were you Tuesday night? Lisbon: I was at home, watching television. Nobody saw me. Bosco: What'd you watch? Lisbon: Some reality show. Bosco: Which? Lisbon: Cooking show with the man. Bosco: Oh, yeah, that one. Lisbon: The angry man. Jane: Oh, yeah, I know the one. It's good. Cooking show. Tuesday nights. Angry man. Bosco: So, I can set up a time for you to take a polygraph? Lisbon: No. I didn't kll McTeer. Bosco: Nobody said you did yet. Lisbon: Yet! (She storms out.) Jane: Good luck with the case. Jane joins Van Pelt, Cho and Rigsby at an outside coffee shop. Jane: Having lunch? Cho: A discussion. About Lisbon's situation. Jane: Okay, Cho, you say work the McTeer case hard, screw Bosco and Minelli; (points at Rigsby) you disagree; (points at Van Pelt) and you're not so sure. Rigsby: I'm just saying maybe we should let Bosco do his job. Stay out of his way. He's a good cop. Cho: Is anybody going to go as hard after this case as us? No, I don't think so. Jane: You're assuming Lisbon didn't kll him. What if she did kll him? What would you do? Cho: What would you do? Jane: Me? I'd walk away. But I ain't the law. Van Pelt: Yes, we walk away. Cho: Yeah. Rigsby: I disagree. Van Pelt: McTeer went after little children. Rigsby: Hey, maybe he deserved to die. But if Lisbon had the guts to kll him, she has the guts to serve her time for it. Cho: I'm going to talk to McTeer's boss. Van Pelt: I'll come with you. Rigsby: Okay, okay, look. Lisbon didn't do it anyhow. I mean, right? She's not capable of that. Jane: I'm not so sure. Lisbon is waiting on the balcony coffee shop at the CBI. Jane joins her. Lisbon: What's up that we couldn't talk inside? I'm busy. Jane: Thought you might want to be outside so you could express your anger without constraint. Lisbon: Why? Jane: I know you lied about the alibi. Lisbon: I didn't lie. Jane: I don't know what you did on Tuesday night, but you weren't watching TV. Lisbon: I didn't lie. He made risotto. Jane: Now this is insulting. You going to continue lying to me? Lisbon: I can't remember. I can't remember what I did on Tuesday night; it's weird. Jane: Thank you. It's okay, the memory's there, we can get it back. If I put you in a light trance... Lisbon: Like that's going to happen! Stop trying to hypnotise me. Jane: What if something traumatic happened and you're blocking it out? Lisbon: I didn't kll McTeer. Jane: Let me hypnotise you so we can be sure. Lisbon: No. Jane: Why not? Lisbon: Because I don't want you inside my head. (She leaves.) Lisbon is walking through the CBI and Bosco joins her. Bosco: So it turns out you're not quite done with the McTeer case. Lisbon: Funny. Bosco: It's not my choice. He'll only talk to you. Lisbon: Who? She sees Dreyer sitting waiting for her. He stands up. Dreyer: Agent Lisbon. Lisbon: Hello, Dreyer. Bosco: Thanks for coming in Mr Whelan. Lisbon, Bosco and Dreyer Whelan are seated in the conference room. Dreyer: So, you guys are still working together, still a team? Lisbon: We're both handling this interview at your request, Dreyer. We just have a couple of questions for you. Bosco: Just one, in fact. Did you kll William McTeer? Dreyer: I didn't. Bosco: Glad to hear it. How's Katie doing. Dreyer: She's well. Doing well. Healing better than I am, according to our therapist. Bosco: Where were you Tuesday night? Dreyer: At home. Alone. Katie spent the night at a friend's. Bosco: And what time... Dreyer: (to Lisbon) You let him hurt her! Lisbon: Excuse me? Dreyer: I recently read the incident files. Bosco: The internal SFPD files? How'd you get hold of those? Dreyer: You could have taken McTeer down the Friday before, a whole week earlier. Lisbon: That was not the case. I didn't have it. I didn't have anything to nail him on. Dreyer: In the meantime he attcked Katie and you could have saved her. Lisbon: If I'd arrested him on a hunch, he would have been acquitted. He would have walked. Dreyer: But Katie wouldn't have been rped. And that is your fault. Bosco: Mr Whelan. Dreyer: What? Bosco: You swore you'd spend your entire fortune in the service of klling William McTeer. Why didn't you? Dreyer: I couldn't. What if I'd been caught? I couldn't leave Katie alone. Bosco: My take. Maybe you just didn't have the guts. Dreyer: Go to hell. Both of you. (He leaves.) Bosco: Don't worry about it. He's angry. Anger turns you. Lisbon: Yes it does. I want to take the polygraph. We see Lisbon being hooked up to a polygraph machine. Bosco watches though the window. Lisbon looks distressed. Cho and Van Pelt are talking to the owner of the adult store where McTeer worked. Cho: How long did McTeer work for you? Store Owner: Uh, couple months. Van Pelt: His record didn't bother you? Store Owner: No, the freaks work harder, you know. They're grateful for the gig, you know. Not McTeer, though. Cho: Is that why you two got in a fight? Store Owner: Me and him? No, we didn't get in a fight. He got in a fight with his Jackal buddy, Dog. They got into a fight here right in the middle of the place. Busted it all up, so I fired his twisted ass. I mean, that's management 101, you know, no fist fights. So I booted him. Cho: Did he come back at you about that? Store Owner: No, he knows better than that. He knows I'm connected. Cho: Connected, really? To whom? Store Owner: Uh, people. Cho: So what was it about? McTeer's fight with Dog? Store Owner: Dunno, could have been about a million things, you know. Dog was a utility idiot. He's dumb in ten different ways. Van Pelt: Does Dog have a real name? Store Owner: Everybody does. I don't know what his was. Oh, those are on special (indicating some of his goods) - buy one, get one free. Van Pelt: No thanks. Lisbon is in the courthouse corridor, ready to testify in the Howard case. Court Official: People vs Milton R Howard, case number 97203254 come on down. Howard: Agent Lisbon, we have to talk. Lisbon: How about you give me a confession, Howard? Howard: Agent, I didn't do these things they said I did, okay? You have to hear my side of it. Lisbon: I'll see you inside. Lisbon sees Minelli approaching and goes to meet him. Minelli: Agent Lisbon. DA: Virgil, talk to her after. We're up. Minelli: Agent Lisbon will not be joining you. Lisbon: Is my team okay? Is somebody hurt? Minelli: No. You failed the poly, Agent Lisbon. "Significant indications of deception", they say. You're relieved of duty, Agent. Report to admin for processing. Lisbon: (looking stricken) Boss. Minelli: Don't! (He walks away. The DA just looks at her. Lisbon walks off looking lost.) Lisbon is at admin, turning in her gn and badge. Admin Guy: Signature on the bottom. gn and badge in the tray. She signs the form, puts her badge in the tray, takes the clip off her gn and puts it and the gn in the tray. Admin Guy: Here's your receipt. Have a nice day. (He closes the wire window with a clang.) Dr Carmen's office. Dr. Carmen: Teresa Lisbon in my office, talking. You must be desperate. Lisbon: I failed the polygraph. I don't know what I'm going to do. Dr. Carmen: Well, reading polys is more art than a science. Ask to retake it. I can teach you how to relax. Lisbon: My father used to have blackouts when he drank. One time he bat my brother half to death and he didn't remember a thing. The whole way to the hospital he couldn't believe it was him who did it. (She blinks away tears.) Dr. Carmen: Are you drinking? Is that why you're talking of blackouts? Lisbon: What I need to know is, is it possible that I klled McTeer and blotted it out? Dr. Carmen: You can't remember the night of the mrder? (She shakes her head.) Well, don't panic. There could be lots of reasons. Stress, or... Lisbon: Cops can become Kllers, doctor, it can happen. Dr. Carmen: It's ridiculous. You didn't even know McTeer was in Sacramento. Lisbon: His parole officer called me last month. Courtesy heads up. Dr. Carmen: Well. Can memory loss be a result of trauma? Sure. Your mind shields you from the awful thing you did, or even what someone else did. Child molesters don't get better. The kller saved a child's life, whoever it is. Lisbon: How do I unblock my memory? Dr. Carmen: Maybe it will come back on its own. Give it time. Lisbon: I don't have time. You know, you're useless. You don't know what you're talking about. Dr. Carmen: I'm sorry. Until you remember, I don't know how to help you. (She storms out.) Lisbon goes into the bullpen where Jane is sleeping on his couch. Lisbon: Jane. (He wakes up.) Jane: Oh, hey Lisbon. I imagine you want me to hypnotise you now. Lisbon: Yeah. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt are in the file storage room, looking through files. Cho: Nothing in McTeer's parole files about any Dog. Van Pelt: None of his associates either. Cho: Black widow. (He stomps on the spider.) dad one. Bosco: What the hell do you think you're doing? Cho: klling a spider. What are you doing? Bosco: You're interfering with my case. You're talking to witnesses. Cho: You're wrong. Bosco: You're going to lie to me now? Rigsby: What's the problem? Bosco: Drop the McTeer case or you'll be on guard duty at the State Capitol saluting tourists. Rigsby walks up to Bosco and towers over him. Rigsby: Is that right? Bosco: Yes it is. (He leaves.) Cho: Nice comeback. Van Pelt: You told him. Rigsby: He knows the score. (He reaches for Van Pelt's laptop.) May I? Thanks. My guy at Pelican Bay came through. McTeer had a cellmate for 2 years nicknamed Dog. Van Pelt: Hey, I know this guy. That's the brother of McTeer's girlfriend, David Charles. Lisbon and Jane come into Lisbon's apartment. Jane looks around interestedly. Lisbon: It's kind of a mess. Jane: Not at all. It's nice. I like those pictures. Lisbon: Those are mostly from the last tenants. (Jane peers at a photo of Lisbon's 3 younger brothers as children.) Where are we going to do this? (She sounds very agitated.) Jane: Ah, interesting. (He looks at her CD collection.) Lisbon: Let's just do it. Let's go. Jane: No. Lisbon: No? Jane: No, I'm not going to hypnotise you Lisbon. You're too stressed. Lisbon: Are you kidding me? Jane: (Puts his hands on her shoulders.) Now, it's okay. Shh. It's okay. All right, I'd have to make all the stress leave your body. Maybe have you count down from 100,99,98. We go round and round. 94,93. (He waves a hand in front of her face. She's glazed over.) Listen to me, Lisbon, all the stress would have to melt away. You'd have to feel calm and relaxed and very safe. It's just about impossible. I'm not hypnotising you, Lisbon. It's not going to happen, so you can just relax. You are not falling into a deep, relaxing trance state. (Her eyes are fluttering.) Sleep. Okay, good. (She closes her eyes and he pulls her towards him. She lays her head against his shoulder and he pats it.) Good. Lisbon is now seated in her living-room and Jane is sitting opposite her. Her eyes are still closed. Jane: So you're going down the steps, relaxing with each step, and now you reach the bottom, the very last step, the ultimate place of calm. How are you feeling? Lisbon: Good. Jane: Good. You're going to remain in this relaxed trance state while we think about Tuesday night. But first, sometimes you dance to that Spice Girls CD, don't you? Lisbon: Yeah. (She smiles with her eyes closed and does a little jiggle in her chair, as if she's playing the music in her head.) Jane: I thought so. (He grins.) Now, Tuesday. You can watch whole day like it's a movie. Every detail is in focus. You can zoom into any moment you want. You can fast forward, rewind. You are in total control. Okay? Lisbon: Okay. Jane: Good. What do you see? Lisbon: I'm finishing up the Form 41s on the Milbank case. I feel... hungry, 'cause I skipped lunch. The new guy in the mailroom is hot. Jane: Is he? Lisbon: Yeah. Jane: (looks a bit put out) Let's fast forward a little. Later in the day, you're about to leave CBI. Lisbon: Van Pelt's working late. She's a hard worker. She might do well, if she manages not to sleep with Rigsby. Jane: Where do you go now? Lisbon: I... (her eyelids are fluttering) Home? Jane: Do you? Where do you go, Lisbon? (He gets up and leans over her.) Lisbon: I'm in my car. It's low on gas. (She's getting agitated.) Jane: It's okay. You're in a trance state. Everything's okay. Lisbon: I can't... Jane: What do you see? Where do you go? Lisbon: I... I don't know. It's blank. I just see a blank screen. Jane: It's all right. It's all right. Lisbon: I don't... I don't know where I went. I can't remember. I don't know where I went. Jane: It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. (He puts his hand on her forehead and she comes out of her trance.) Lisbon: I can't remember. Jane: It's a little weird. (He sits down with a sigh. She stands up.) Lisbon: I thought you were the best. I want my money back. Jane: Hmm. Yeah. Lisbon: Why can't I remember? Jane: It's interesting, isn't it? (He gets up.) Lisbon: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. Jane: Hmm. Lisbon: Well, you know, thanks for trying. You probably have somewhere you need to go, right? Jane: Well, I'm not going to give up that easily. Lisbon: I can count on you not to tell anybody about this, right? On the team. (She's trying to hold back her tears.) Jane: Oh, Lisbon. (He walks over to her and touches her arm.) Hey. Lisbon: Jane, I just need you to leave. Okay, could you, please. Go. Jane: All right. It's going to be okay. It's going to be fine, all right? I promise. Okay? Lisbon: Hm. (He reluctantly leaves her standing tearfully with her hands in her pockets.) David goes into Tanya's house and calls out for his sister. David: Tanya, I got your text. It said 911, what's going on? (Cho comes up behind him and grabs him.) Oh, hey, hey, help. Police! (Rigsby runs in with his gn drawn. Rigsby checks outside quickly and closes the door.) Cho: Relax. Rigsby: We're clear. Cho: Good. (They sit David down and question him.) Rigsby: Yeah. Cho: You fought with McTeer in the parking lot. He bat the snot out of you. Rigsby: That must have been pretty humiliating. Cho: So you lured him into the alley and you klled him. David: No, I didn't kll him. I didn't! Cho: You did kll him, David. You klled him, but it's our friend on the hook for it. Rigsby: Look, Dog, jail is so much better than what you get if you keep lying to us. David: Look, your friend the cop, she's the one who paid me to bring McTeer to the alley. Look, I had no idea she was going to sht him, I swear to you. I never would have taken the money if I knew it. Cho: Agent Lisbon? She's the one who paid you? David: Yeah, I mean it had to be her, didn't it? I heard you guys already arrested her for it. Rigsby: But you're guessing, right? You never actually saw her? David: I didn't see anybody. It was all texts. The deal was I got Bill drunk. We went out to the alley to go take a pee and then I split. I heard those shts and I started running like hell, man. The next day there's ten grand in my checking account. Rigsby: Ten grand? Lisbon, Bosco, Rigsby and Cho are walking along on the mezzanine floor of the CBI. Lisbon: Ten grand, Sam. Bosco: I heard. Lisbon: Ten grand just to lure the vic in, not even kll him. This is somebody with resources, connections. Cho: Someone who's not Lisbon. Rigsby: Seriously, where is she going to get ten grand from? No offence, boss. Lisbon: I'll have Van Pelt track the text. Cho and I will talk to the guy's bank. Bosco: Lisbon, get this through your head. You're relieved of duty. You're not even supposed to be in the building. And you two clowns are way out of hand. Let me deal with this. (He takes Lisbon aside.) Come here. Lisbon, look at me. Look at me. I'll handle it. Will you please trust me? Lisbon: I'm sorry, you don't understand (She's moving very agitatedly.) Later you will. Bosco: Are you medicated or something? Lisbon: (raises her voice) Okay, I'm all right. I'm fine. (Everyone in the office looks at her.) What the hell is everybody looking at? (She's shouting now.) I... I'm fine. Just stay the hell away from me. I'm done with this crap. I am done. (She storms to the stairs, pushing between Rigsby and Cho.) Get out of my way. I'm sick of everybody. (She runs to her office. Everybody just stands and watches. She paces up and down in her office like a caged lion. Jane wanders into the bullpen.) Jane: Who was that? Lisbon? Rigsby: She's freaking out. Jane: Oh, come on. It's just Lisbon. Cho: She's a little stressed. Van Pelt: What is going on? Lisbon picks up a chair and throws in through her office window. After a shocked pause, Jane and Bosco run to her office. Lisbon: Sorry. Why is this happening to me? Jane: It's all right. Let's go home. Bosco: I'll take her. Lisbon: No. Leave me alone. (She leaves.) Lisbon's apartment. She's wearing nothing but a huge football jersey (with "Lisbon 99" on the back) and she's listening to Spice Girls on her headphones. She pours some hard liquor into a mug and we see pills scattered on her living room table. She lifts a cloth and there's a gn underneath it, which she straightens out. She picks her drink up and dances across the room to her music. Rigsby is sitting at the bullroom conference table near the broken window, which is being cleaned up. Van Pelt comes up to him. Van Pelt: The ten grand paid to David Charles came from an account owned by a shell company in the Caymans. Rigsby: Well, that's good. Van Pelt: The day after it paid David, the account paid out a million dollars to someone else. Rigsby: I bet that's for the sh*t. Can we trace the payment? Van Pelt: I'm trying, but... Bosco: You'll find it dad-ends at a blind account that was closed yesterday. Rigsby: Okay, we are working the case. We just want to... Bosco: Forget about it. How's Lisbon? Rigsby: She's fine. Jane and Minelli are walking through the CBI together. Jane: She's fine. Minelli: Well, what did she say exactly? Jane: Well, I didn't actually talk to her. She... she wouldn't let me in. Minelli: You're worried about her. You think she might do something stupid? Jane: su1c1de? No. If she did, she wouldn't blame the bureau. Minelli: That's not my concern at all. I should have taken her off-duty wapon. Jane: Ah, I'm sure she'll be all right. There's a knock at Lisbon's door. She opens it and lets Dr Carmen in. Dr. Carmen: Minelli asked me to drop by. Well, ordered me to drop by, actually. Can we talk? Lisbon: Minelli? Dr. Carmen: He's worried about you. We all are. Lisbon: Because I had a meltdown, got perp-walked out of the CBI, or because I klled a guy? (She drops the bottle of liquor she's carrying, which is now almost empty.) Dr. Carmen: You klled McTeer? Lisbon: How the hell would I know? Maybe. (She turns around and he sees she's got her gn in her hand.) Dr. Carmen: Teresa, you want to put away your Glock there? Lisbon: Very good eye, doctor. The Glock 9mm. The safety is in the trigger. How stupid is that? I mean, it's kind of like not having a safety at all. Dr. Carmen: How about you give it to me. Lisbon: (She points the gn at him.) Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that. This is your fault. Dr. Carmen: Teresa. Lisbon: You unlocked too many things in my head and now I can't remember. My head is messed up and it's your fault. Dr. Carmen: Teresa, put it down. You need to be calm and put down the gn. Lisbon: Calm. You were right, doctor, there was something I wanted to tell you. (She points the gn at her own head now.) I act calm on the outside, but on the inside I'm so angry I think I'm going to explode. All the misery and the pain that I see every day makes me want to scream, but I lock it down. I lock it down because I have to be calm and rational because that's my job, but I want to pull this trigger. I want to kll. Dr. Carmen: You're angry. I hear that. Lisbon: I think I did it. I think I klled McTeer. Dr. Carmen: Teresa, if you did it, that's okay. He was a bad man. No reason for you to hurt anyone else, or yourself. Lisbon: I still can't remember. Dr. Carmen: You can and you will. And when you do, Teresa, when you push through to the truth, all this weight and worry will come off your shoulders. Lisbon: Okay. Dr. Carmen: I want you to visualise that scene for me. Relive that moment. You went into the alley after this terrible man. Can you see him? Lisbon: No. Well, yes. Maybe. Dr. Carmen: Yes, you see him. You see the dumpsters and the trash and the crumbling old brick and you see McTeer. You see him there, this monster who destroyed so many lives. It's too much. See it, Teresa. (We see a flashback of McTeer in the alley as he gets sht.) Live it. The reek of the garbage, the filthy alley walls, the faded cross there. (We see a flashback of the body, and sign with a mission cross on it behind him, then the metal door is slid closed.) God might have mercy on William McTeer, but you sure as hell wouldn't. He deserved to die, but you're still a good person, Teresa. (The camera pans up from her cross around her neck to her tear-stained face.) You can get through this. Lisbon: Cross. Dr. Carmen: Uh, what? Lisbon: The cross, Roy. (She drops her gn to her side and changes her whole voice and stance to her usual controlled self.) How did you know about the cross? It was inside the door. Only the kller saw. Dr. Carmen: Well, Teresa, you told me about the crime scene. Lisbon: No, I didn't. (We see a flashback of Dr Carmen taking the 3 shts.) Jane: Oh, beautifully done. (The camera pans to the stairs, where we see Jane sitting.) Lovely work, Lisbon. Dr. Carmen: What? Jane: (comes down the stairs) Of course. The cross. You couldn't resist the imagery, could you doc? Lapsed Catholic, perhaps? Dr. Carmen: What's going on? Jane: Surrender, Dorothy, we got you. Brilliant, though. Made Lisbon come back week after week so you could get her fingerprints off your coffee mug and dose her up with, uh, lorazepam? (We see a flashback of him giving her the coffee.) Double dose for Tuesday to cause a memory loss, memory loss you knew Lisbon would conceal which made her fail the polygraph. Quite the student of human nature, huh doctor? Well done, really. Dr. Carmen: Your breakdown in CBI - that was fake? Jane: And how good was that, huh? (Lisbon grins, pleased with herself.) What about that? After that, all I had to do was get Minelli to get you to come around here. Lisbon: I've been waiting for you all night. Jane: There was one little thing. I'm just...just one little thing. Lorazepam, maybe that went a little too far. When Lisbon couldn't remember the night of the mrder, even under hypnosis, I knew she'd been drugged. The rest of it, spot on. Very, very impressive. Dr. Carmen: Thanks. Jane: Not at all. Lisbon punches Dr Carmen in the face. Then she gets out her cuffs and cuffs his hands behind his back. Lisbon: You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be used against you in court. You have the right to an attorney. (Jane is grinning happily.) At the CBI office, Rigsby is escorting Dr Carmen down the corridor. Rigsby: So this guy who gave you the million bucks, you ever met him face to face? Dr. Carmen: You want him, I want a deal. A good one. For what I got it's worth it. 2-5, minimum security. Rigsby: Oh, there won't be a deal. We know who he is. Just curious if you knew. We see Cho and Van Pelt bringing in Howard, also cuffed. Dr Carmen looks deflated as they go past. In an interrogation room, Van Pelt and Cho are questioning Howard. Van Pelt: It took us a while, but we traced the shell company back to you, Howard. You paid Dr Carmen and David Charles to frame Lisbon for McTeer's mrder. These cash transactions prove it. Cho: Discrediting a cop is so much smarter than klling her. We'd have been all over that. But this way her testimony dies along with her career. Van Pelt: How about you give us a statement? Maybe help yourself. Howard: How about you kiss me? You're pretty. Van Pelt: So are you, compared to most state prison inmates. Lisbon is in her office, putting back her belongings that were moved when the broken glass was being cleaned up. She's setting up the pieces on her chessboard when Bosco comes in. Bosco: I hear Minelli is billing you for the glass. Lisbon: It's only fair. Bosco: You know, for a cop you made a very convincing lunatic. Jane must be proud. Lisbon: Maybe it's not good police work, but I have to confess I enjoyed it, letting loose for once. Bosco: Look, I'm glad you got cleared. Lisbon: I'm sorry that we couldn't let you in on the plan. Bosco: You could have, but you didn't. (He comes and stands close to her.) You should know that if it turned out to be you... (He looks at her meaningfully.) Lisbon: I know. Bosco: Just so you do. Enough said. (Jane walks in.) Jane: I'm not interrupting anything, am I? Bosco: No. Night, Lisbon. (Bosco leaves.) Jane: Night, Sam. Doughnuts, from Marie's. (He hands Lisbon a bag.) Lisbon: Oh. Jane: I didn't see it. Of course. Lisbon: What? (She takes a big bite of a doughnut.) Jane: He's in love with you. Lisbon: (with her mouth full) Don't be silly. Jane: I know, hard to fathom. But there's no accounting for taste, is there? Lisbon: Hush. (She throws the bag back at Jane, grinning. He goes out and she carries on getting her things sorted out. Her back is to the door, so she doesn't see Jane put his head back in and watch her for a few seconds, with a little smile, before he goes away again.) END	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x03 - Red Badge"}	foreverdreaming
At the mrder scene Jane: Oh, it's lovely. Lisbon: It's a crime scene. Jane: It's a lovely crime scene. Rigsby: Hey. Couple joggers found our John Doe on their morning run. Body's still pretty fresh, so it must've happened last night. No signs of an entry or exit wound means cause was probably a blunt force trauma to the head . Lisbon: And they brought in the grown-ups because they couldn't decide whose sandbox it was? Rigsby: Right. Body's right on the city line. The only thing they can agree on is that it was a carJacking gone wrong. Wallet, watch, wedding band— everything gone. Jane looks at the body and finds a cuff link Jane: Oh, not everything. Kkiller would have been very frustrated to not be able to take this. Lisbon: Looks like a wheel. Jane: Motorcycle wheel. Lisbon: I don't buy it as a carJacking. maybe the mrder was covering it up as one, but if you're after someone's car and valuables, you grab and bolt. You don't waste time taking off a cuff link. Rigsby: A gn or a sab wound Is more likely than a beating. Lisbon: Beating like this takes time. The mrder was personal. Jane: No surprise there. The haircut, the suit, the cologne— This man had enemies. Rigsby: His cologne tells you he had enemies? Jane: Sure. okay, confrontional. Finishing touch on a wardrobe that says, "pay attention. show respect." This was an extrovert tough guy, a professional, a backroom politician or a lawyer, a fixer, the type that's good with people, making people do things they maybe don't want to do. Lisbon: Uh, what he is, is useless until we know who he is. Jane: Well, I can do that, too. He finds a headset Rigsby: Oh, no, Jane. I, uh, I checked. the phone's not on him. Jane: The signal light's still on. Phone's in range. Lisbon: His assailant probably threw it in the trees. What are you doing? Jane: I'm making a call. Lisbon: But you don't have the phone. Jane: I have my voice. Lisbon: You still need the phone. Want to use the voice activation? You need its names and numbers. Jane: There is one name programmed into every phone, particularly into one belonging to a middle-aged man that was wearing a wedding band. Home. The cell phone rings Woman: Hello? Jane: Hello. This is Patrick Jane from the California Bureau of Investigation. I was wondering if you knew a man 6-feet tall, mid 40s, salt and pepper hair, gray custom-made suit, weighing about 192, give or take? Woman: That's my husband Gordon Hodge. Jane: Gordon Hodge, hmm. Woman: You said you're from CBI? Is something wrong? Jane: Uh, just a sec. (He gives headset to Lisbon) It's for you. The team is Hodge's home Nina Hodge: I knew something like this would happen, sooner or later. Lisbon: Well, was your husband having some sort of trouble lately? Nina: Gordon was a criminal attorney with a very special practice. He had only one client— the Sinner Saints. Jane: Bikers, are they? Rigsby: Yeah, they're one of the top biker gangs in the state. They run some legit businesses, but mostly they're into drugs and prostitution, low-rent protection rackets, that kind of thing. Nina: For years, I begged him to get out, but Gordon said that a lawyer never abandons his client. it's unethical. It's what he always called them— never "the gng, " always "the client." Lisbon: When was the last time you saw him? Nina: Yesterday morning, before work. Gordon used to meet these people at all hours— That's how they are. So we didn't get worried when he didn't come home last night. Lisbon: Had he been acting differently lately? Nina: He'd been more on edge the last week or so. I think something happened at work, but I'm not sure what. Lisbon: Did you ask him about it? Nina: No, never. Work was off-limits. Lucas Hodge: He said it was boring. Jane: What was the real reason? Do you think he was ashamed, or he sensed your shame? Lucas: He wanted to protect us. Lisbon: Would his colleagues at the office have known what was going on? Nina: No. He was a one-man shop. Didn't even have a secretary. Gordon didn't trust anyone with his business. Lisbon: Any idea who might have wanted to kll him? Nina: Well, you might want to ask his client. He knew all their secrets. He probably learned something that he shouldn't have. Rigsby: Either of you ever meet any of those scumbags? Lucas: No. Jane: You two must be very torn— living in such a beautiful home, driving nice cars, going to good schools, 'll paid for by dangerous criminals, Or, uh, "scumbags, " as my colleague says. Nina: Do I wish that Gordon would've defended civil rights leaders? Yes, of course ! But he believed that everyone had a constitutional right to have a good defense. He had his principles. Lisbon: Thank you for your time. They go out of the house Lisbon: Did you go to some interview school I've never heard of? Next time, get the facts, save the editorial. Rigsby: Yes, ma'am. He looks at Jane Lisbon: I know. Jane did it, too. He's not a CBI agent. From you, I expect professional standards. Rigsby: Yes, boss. Cho arrives Cho: That was the captain of the local c. h.i. p.s. Hodge's car was just fished out of a lake about a mile from the mrder scene— no good for prints. He said that two weeks back, they busted Hodge at a highway rest stop, walking to his car with 2 ounces of coke and 2 ounces of meth in his pockets. Nailed him with felony possession... Rigsby: Nice. Cho: Only the d. a. dropped the charges. There was some unlawful search technicality. Lisbon: Either Hodge is a great lawyer... Cho: Or the d. a. turned him in exchange for dropping the charges—planned to use him as an informant. Rigsby: Well, if the saints found out— Cho: Yeah, they'd kll him. they did know about the charges. Their boss, Von Mcbride, posted Hodge's bail. Lisbon: Well, talk to your friends at the D.A. Find out what the story is there. Jane and I will go talk to the Sinner Saints. Cho: Okay, be careful. Rigsby: You want me to come for backup? Lisbon: Uh, no. talk to forensics about the car. Jane, let's go. now, please? Come on. Jane and Lisbon are in front of the Sinner Saints Bar Jane: (Speaking about motorcycles) Beautiful, huh? Lisbon: No, not really. I fail to see the charm. Jane: It's the glamour of mobility. That's why the girls went for Cain and not Abel. Lisbon: Is that right? Jane: Yeah. nomads— sexier than farmers. They have romance. The Lisbon's cellphone rings. She picks up Lisbon: Lisbon. Cho: I spoke to my friend in the D.A.'s office. They didn't make a deal with Hodge. They let him go 'cause the case was less than ironclad, and they've already lost too many to hodge and the saints. Last 10 years, they've beaten the rap in over 50 cases— mrder, rpe, drug-trffick. they're bulletproof. Jane: Nobody's bulletproof. Cho: Well, my friend says to stay away from them. That they're bad news. Lisbon: Good, sound lawyerly advice. I'll take that under advisement. (She hangs up) You ready? They enter the bar. Bikers look at them Lisbon: (To Jane) There's romance for you. (To bikers) We're with the CBI. We're looking for Von Mcbride. Xander: Not here, which is where you need to be. Lisbon: Well, can you tell us where he is? Xander: No. I cannot. Lisbon: Listen, we're here for information, Not trouble, boys. Xander: Well, we've got nothing to say. Lisbon: I can take you in if you want me to. I prefer to talk here. Xander: Like I said, there's nothing to talk about. We're not doing anything illegal. Jane goes to the back room where a man plays Jane: Mr Mcbride? Lisbon: (To Xander) It was nice talking to you. Jane: Your focus on this pressing matter suggests you're the man in charge here. McBride: Yeah, well, keep on walking, blondie. Lisbon: We just have a few questions for you. It won't take long. McBride: Yeah, well, I'm sorry. I don't, uh, talk to police officers on the advice of my lawyer. Lisbon: Your lawyer's dad. McBride: Yeah, I heard that. But his advice is still good. Xander: Means your business here is done. Jane: Oh. You don't want to know who the informant is, then? Xander: What informant? Jane: Oh, I'm sorry. Forget I spoke. Xander: You messing with me? Jane: Yeah, I'm messing with you. There's no informant. Xander: Come here. Lisbon: You touch him, and I'll arrest you. Xander: I would love to see you try and do that. Jane: What's your name? Xander: Xander. Jane: Xander, your thrat are empty. She's a state agent. You're not gonna lay a finger on her, and you know that, so why play tough? W-where's that come from, this need to intimidate? Xander: I'm a sadist, and I bore easily. Jane: Oh. me, I see a difficult childhood— Bad parenting, a lot of torment. But I also see how that suffering gave you great powers of empathy and a strong creative side, and those are the qualities you should try and nurture in yourself. Not this brutish character you try to hide behind. McBride: Oh, that's Xander, all right. Full of empathy. You guys want a drink? Jane: Sure. Later, Lisbon and McBride are sitting at a table. Jane plays billards McBride: So what's this crap about an informant? Lisbon: How long have you know about hodge's taste for coke and meth? McBride: Couple years. Guy liked to party, but he could still do his job. A woman arrives and sits at their table Jane: Couldn't have been too thrilled when he got busted. McBride: Case got dropped. Jane: Must've wondered why. McBride: Illegal search. Jane: Yeah. Either that or Hodge, uh, flipped on you. Diamond: That son of a— McBride: Hold on a second, Diamond. He didn't flip. There is no informant. Lisbon: Where were you last night? McBride: Right here. And I got 30 other brothers who will vouch for me and each other. Look, man, none of my guys did this. We loved Gordon, man. he was like a member of the club. Diamond: You know, he couldn't ride worth a damn. McBride: No, he couldn't, huh? He tried, though. Lisbon: Who klled him? McBride: My guess? Probably some other motorcycle club looking to put us out of business— Chaos Brigade, Bolos Plata. Shouting from front of the bar Woman: Get your hands off of me! get off me! Help! get your hands off of me! Get off of me! Get off of me! Lisbon: Let her go, and back away! Back away now! Woman: Get your hands off me! You're mrder! All of you! Lisbon: Ma'am, take it easy. I'm CBI. Ma'am! But the woman run away In the bar, are McBride and Jane Jane: Who was that?Sshe a friend of yours? McBride: Never seen her before. mentlly deranged, seems like. Poor thing. Jane: You know, you're a very good liar. Most people subconsciously signal dishonesty, but you? there's nothing. No inner conflict. Usually, that's the mark of what shrinks like to call a sociopath. McBride: Well, if by "sociopath, " you mean that if you cross me, I would enjoy watching you suffer pain before I kll you... Then, yeah, I'm a sociopath. See ya. Jane: Bye. In the CBI Rigsby: So we talked to the gng unit. There's no other biker gng would cross the saints and run the risk of starting a wr that they couldn't win. Jane: This is incredible. you should see this. He is sitting on the sofa reading a paper Lisbon: Hold on. Anything on the woman in the parking lot? Jane: Sinner Saints have their own web site. Lisbon: (irritated) Really? Jane: Yeah. Cho: We cross-checked registrations of the truck model and color with driver's license photos fitting her description. No hits. truck must be registered to her husband or other family member. Lisbon: Mcbride's clamming up about her means he's hiding something. Jane: He's merged two other gangs into the saints in the last five years. It's the fastest growing gng in the nation. Lisbon: Go to Hodge's office. See if you can find anything on the gng's operation that pops. And have the deerfield P. D. Issue a bolo on the woman's pickup truck. Cho: Okay. Jane: You can buy logo merchandise— sinner saints coffee mugs, Decals, beach towels. whoa! And some various other interesting little knickknacks. Lisbon: Nice. Jane: Yeah. well, if they do it, we should do it. A range of casual wear, maybe? Sensible shoes? Lisbon: (ironic) I'll get right on that. Jane: Okay. Lisbon loafers. Van Pelt: (computer beeps) Found something, boss. These are Gordon Hodge's cell phone calls from the night of the mrder. All were routine business calls— Von mcbride, other lawyers, court officials. But it's the last call that bumps. 7:23, incoming from a constance hoyt. Current address unknown. Lisbon: Must not want people finding her. Van Pelt: Well, I went back three months— A lot of calls between her and hodge. Lisbon: Did you try the number? Van Pelt: Twice. got one of those computer voice mail messages. Plus, I ran her name through the d. m.v. For registration of a black pickup truck. She's not your parking lot woman. Lisbon: Check Von Mcbride's cell phone records. See if he had any contact with this constance hoyt. Van Pelt: Bingo. Couple of chatty cathys. Lisbon: Talking three or four times a day. Either she's his mom, or... Van Pelt: His girlfriend. Lisbon and Van Pelt arrive front of the bar. Diamond leaves it. Lisbon: Constance? we just have a couple questions for you. But Constance rides off on the motorcycle Lisbon: I'll drive! Van Pelt: No time! Boss, seat belt. go! Tires screech. Engines revving Lisbon: Bike's got too much muscle. you're gonna have to— Van Pelt cuts her path and stops Constance Lisbon: Do not even think of moving. (To Van Pelt) I gotta get you out of the office more. Rigsby and Cho are going in Hodge's office Rigsby: Got hodge's office key? Cho: So what's your problem with bikers? Rigsby: I hate bikers. Cho: Why's that? Rigsby: My dad was a biker. Cho: Really? I didn't know that. Rigsby: No? I thought you read my file. Cho: Well, it says he was a big-time criminal. Didn't specify any affiliations. Rigsby looks at the doorknob Rigsy: Jimmy marks on the doorknob. Cho: Doubt that was part of the original decor. The get their gn and enter. Nobody is there but the offide is a mess. Rigsby: Door clear. Cho: Clear. Rigsby: Desk clear. Cracks are on the outside of the window. Means a previous break-in attempt. Think they were looking for something, or just trying to send a message? Cho looks behind the door Cho: Message was definitely a part of it. On the wall: "Burn in hell" Interrogation Room Jane: Do you prefer "Constance, " or "Diamond"? Constance: I prefer to get the hell out of here. Lisbon: You ran from the police, endangered the lives Of two agents. you could be here a couple of days. Constance: I don't think that's right. Lisbon: why'd you run? Constance: I ran because I'm dad if anyone sees me talking to cops. The Saints are all paranoid about informants now, which is why I'm not saying a word. Jane: Tell us about your affair with gordon hodge. Constance: I wasn't sleeping with Gordon. Jane: Oh. Uh... yes, you were. Constance: It was only a few months. we were just having fun. It's not like von doesn't sleep around on me and... Gordon treated me nice. Jane: You had genuine feelings for him. Constance: He was decent. He never looked down on you. Just got sucked in too deep with the Saints. Lisbon: Did you know he was arrested for possession? Constance: Told him a hundred times to be careful, but he got dumb about it. Jane: Ah, well, drugs simply make people careless. You had to be a little concerned about mcbride finding out. Constance: It would've made things complicated. Jane: "complicated" is one way to put it. Lisbon: So you called him that night. Then what happened? Did you go and see him? Constance: No! no. I called to break it off. I heard him answer the phone, and I'd tried to talk to him, but the line went dad. Lisbon: What about the woman in the parking lot? Constance: I don't know. Von doesn't talk gng business with me. Lisbon: Had you seen her before? Constance: she's come around a few times last couple of weeks, same thing— Lots of crazy yelling, then taking off. Look... You, um... You gotta promise that Von doesn't find out about me and Gordon. Lisbon: He keeps his cards close. He could already know— klled Hodge out of jealousy. Constance: Trust me. If Von knew, Gordon's wouldn't be the only dad body. Only one other person knew. And that was bad enough. Lisbon: Who was that other person? Lisbon is in Hodge's and talks with his wife Lisbon: We have information that suggests you knew about gordon and another woman. Nina: Yes, I did. Lisbon: How? Nina: About four months ago, I found a valet stub on the driveway from the deerfield inn. So one night, I followed him and saw him go in with that biker girl. Lisbon: Did you confront him? Nina: More like yell and ht him. He promised he'd stop seeing her. I took him at his word, and I never asked him about it again. Lisbon: why not? Nina: Because I didn't want to hear him lie to me. Lisbon: Mrs. Hodge... Nina: What? Lisbon: If you picked up on your husband's affair, you must've suspected about his other illicit activities. Nina: I knew about the drugs and the partying. He was surrounded by it. Lisbon: Why didn't you tell us about this earlier? Nina: Because Gordon is dad. Anything that I said or did would not bring him back. My son draws stares and whispers because of his father, agent lisbon. Both of us— we deserve to grieve without shame and scandal, don't we? Lisbon: Yes, you do. CBI Lisbon: And if she'd followed her husband once before, She could've tailed him again and klled him. Jane: No, she didn't do it. She loved him. Lisbon: She was a prisoner of her husband's life. She gets rid of him, gets a fresh start. Jane: People trapped in miserable lives. Always talk about escaping. few actually do it. It's easier just to close your eyes and pretend the misery doesn't exist. Rigsby: Boss, you might want to see this. Cho looks at video Cho: This is from a security camera across the street. It was the third incident in two weeks. Building owner said hodge didn't want to report the earlier ones because he didn't want deerfield P. D. combing through. His office and accidentally finding something in his sinner saints file. There. Lisbon: Magnify. The woman from the parking lot. In the bar McBride: Chaos Brigade controls distribution over in rancho rosa, but I figure if we move right now, we can move into stratton. Jane: What's up, my brothers? Lisbon: We just have one quick follow-up question for you. McBride: I've exceeded my quota of answering cops' questions. And my quota of crazy. Lisbon: The woman in the parking lot. McBride: Uh, like I said, she must've mistaken me— Lisbon: She was seen vandalizing hodge's office. McBride: She find anything she shouldn't have? Lisbon: His files were intact. she got nothing. McBride: We have nothing further to talk about, then. Lisbon: The sooner this case is closed, the sooner we're gone and you're back to business as usual. McBride: Last name is Guthrie. She's the sister of a gentleman I was accused of klling. Falsely, of course. Trial was a couple of weeks ago, Gordon ht a home run. Got me off. Lisbon: And you weren't eager to I. D. her because you didn't want us poking around your case? McBride: Hey, all I know is that she's been coming around From time to time, saying some very offensive things. Lisbon: Thanks for your cooperation. McBride: You think she klled Gordon? Lisbon: Like I said, thanks for your cooperation. Jane: I've got one last question. If Hodge wasn't the informant in your gng, who do you think it is? I mean, I tried asking the D.A., but he's kind of a secretive bastard, huh? What do you think? McBride: Mr. Jane, we're a motorcycle club, not a gng. And I can assure you there is no informant. Jane: Well, you'd know best. Xander: Why does he keep going on about this informant? McBride: He's just talking. Let's get down to business. Interrogation Room, Cho asks questions to Felicia Guthrie. Felicia: Von McBride should be sitting here, not me. Cho: Court docs say your brother Rick was an auto mechanic. McBride blamed him for screwing up a repair, and your brother refused to redo it. Mcbride allegedly got angry and klled him. Felicia: Not "allegedly." He klled him. He bat him to death with a crowbar. He mrder him. Cho: And the jury disagreed. McBride acted in self-defense, right? Felicia: That's because that lawyer Hodge made it look like it was my brother's fault. He started throwing around all these lies about my brother, saying that my brother was a druggie, that he was aggressive, that he was mentlly unstable. Cho: So you get all worked up, harass the gng, trash Hodge's office, right? Felicia: You want to arrest me for that, go ahead. I'm not gonna fight you. I'm too tired. Cho: You ever try hodge's home? Felicia: Once. But his kid came outside. I don't have a beef with him, so I took off before I could do anything. Cho: And what were you gonna do? Felicia: I don't know. I was... I don't know. I wanted hodge to understand what he had done to me and to my family. Cho: When was this? Felicia: Two days ago. Cho: The day of the mrder. Where were you that night? Felicia: Home. Cho: Can anyone verify it? Felicia: I live alone, but I didn't— Cho: Now six months ago, you were arrested in a road rage incident. Got out of your car at a red light, attcked a man in an s. u.v. Felicia: What does this have to do with anything? Cho: You're an angry person and you express it physically. Felicia: I'm not angry, I am sad. My brother was a good man. The only crime he committed was standing up to that bastard McBride. Cho: Hodge blackens the name of your dad brother and gets von mcbride off. Now maybe trashing his office didn't give you enough satisfaction— Perfectly understandable if your frustration boils over. And you can't touch von mcbride. He's got 20 bikers around him all the time, so maybe you go for the easier target. Felicia: I didn't kll Gordon Hodge, but I'm sure as hell glad that he's dad. Cho: She'd been to his house that day. Could've laid in wait and followed him later. Plus, she was out for revenge— no more powerful motive. Lisbon: We don't have nearly enough to charge her. I say we hold her on the vandalism. Try to dig up something that puts her at the mrder scene. Jane: Or you could release her. she's obviously impulsive and sloppy enough to get caught on camera. She'll think she's bought herself some time. Cho: And she'd try something to cover her tracks and implicate herself. Lisbon: Cut her loose, then let's shadow her. Cho: Yes, boss. Lisbon (To Jane): Where are you going? Jane: Fresh air. "All this mrder talk... is rank. It stinks to heaven. It hath the primal eldest curse upon't." Cho: Shakespeare. Jane arrives at Hodge's house. Lucas is in difficulty with his car Jane: Little less pressure on the brake pedal. Is your mom here? Lucas: Market. That's why I'm confined to the driveway. You want me to have her call you? Jane: We know Felicia Guthrie trespassed on the property the day your dad was klled. Lucas: I-I just need to hear what happened. Uh, I was leaving for school. I saw her hop the gate and come running up the driveway, so I ran out to try to stop her. She was yelling all this stuff about my dad lying about her brother and getting von mcbride off. Then she just ran away. Jane: Did your parents see her? Lucas: No. Dad was already at work, and mom was in the shower. Jane: Huh. any reason you didn't bring this up earlier? Lucas: I don't know. I felt bad for her, I guess. Didn't want her to get in trouble. Jane: Well, just needed to confirm. Thanks. Jane: You need to relax. Lucas: It's not gonna help. I'm never gonna get the hang of this. Jane: That's an easy fix. You need the right instructor. Later, Jane and Lucas are on the road. Lucas driving Jane: All right. so now you can speed up a little. Excellent. I like how you're keeping your distance. Just trust your instincts. They're always right. Lucas: You're a good instructor. Jane: Yeah, I am, probably because I have zero emotional investment in how you do— Unlike your father, who I'm guessing got annoyed with every mistake you made. Lucas: He wasn't the most patient guy. Jane: Probably didn't help that he was always on his cell phone. Lucas: Been living with his job my whole life. You get used to it. Jane: You also get used to the drugs and the cheating on your mother? Lucas: He promised he'd stop. Jane: Yeah. Can't be easy going through life being labeled the gng lawyer's son. Lucas: It wasn't really that bad. I mean, girls would come up to me all the time, talk to me about dad and the gng, like I'm cool... instead of a geek, which I basically am. Jane: Everybody is. I am. If he was my father, I tell ya, i-i... I'd be mad at him. Lucas: Dad didn't mean to hurt anyone. He was just doing his job. Jane: Right. Well, I guess I'd still love him if he was my father. Can't say I'd cut him the same kind of slack if I was married to him. Lucas: Are you trying to blame my mom? 'cause if you are... Jane: What? Lucas: You're wrong, that's all. She loved him, too. Jane: Well, that brings us back to Felicia Guthrie, who didn't love him at all. What exactly did she say to you when you saw her? Lucas: It was hard to tell. She was just, you know, ranting, basically. Didn't make much sense. Jane: Very nicely done. You'll be out cruising on saturday nights in no time. Just remember, trust your instincts. They're always right. Lucas: Thank you. And thanks for the driving lesson. It's the night. Cho and Rigsby watch Felicia's house Rigsby: Still no movement. Looks like she's in for the night. Cho: Talk to Van Pelt recently? Rigsby: Yep. Cho: Any progress? Rigsby: Hope. Engines rumbling in distance Cho: You hear that? Rigsby: Yeah. They're gonna go after Felicia. Mcbride thinks she klled hodge, wants payback. Cho: Officers on Hampton, North of Lexington, request immediate assistance. They get their gn Felicia: What the hell's going on? Cho: Go back in your house and stay down! Engines are arrive Rigsby: Do the smart thing and get out of here right now! Xander: We're not doing anything illegal. Rigsby: Disorderly conduct, concealed wapon, blown exhaust pipes, probably a couple of outstanding warrants in there! Biker: Screw you, pig! Rigsby: We could bust half you clowns right now! So what's it gonna be? Xander: We'll be seeing you around. Bikers go away Cho: You really hate bikers The next day, the team is Felicia's house Felicia: If they think they can intimidate me, they're wrong. Lisbon: Felicia, temperatures are running hot, so I need you to stay away from the gng's bar from now on. Jane put something in the bin Felicia: Yeah. I'll stay away when you arrest Von McBride. And what were you people doing out here, anyway? Jane: Oh, we think you klled, uh, Gordon Hodge, So agent Cho and Rigsby are watching you. Oh, come on. she was never gonna buy, "we just happened to be in the neighborhood." Felicia: I told you I had nothing to do with that. Jane drinks tea Felicia: And who told you that you could go in my house? Jane: Oh, this? I just needed some tea. Cut through the chill. Felicia: Chill, my ass. You were looking for evidence. Lisbon: Felicia, take it easy. Felicia: Don't tell me to take it easy, when this guy's rifling through my underwear drawer, looking for a wapon. Jane: It was your closet, actually. I was looking for blood-splattered shoes. Felicia: Get off my property. Jane: you're very touchy. Lisbon: Go. Jane joins Rigsby and Cho Rigsby: You really looked through her closet? Jane: Laundry, too. She's been angry and emotional about her brother, which means that she was sloppy about hodge's mrder— Dragged evidence home with her. It's just not inside. Cho: Well, there's no garage or toolshed. Jane: Well, I looked everywhere. Well, everywhere except the garbage. Cho: Why not? Jane: Well, it's garbage. Rigsby: You done with that? Jane: Almost. Rigsby's tea splashes and goes in the garbage Lisbon: Yes, the case is still ongoing, and you are a person of interest. I'd advise you not to leave town. Rigsby looks in garbage Rigsby: Boss? Lisbon: Excuse me. Rigsby: Do you see that? Felicia: What's goin' on? Lisbon: Stay there. don't move. Rigsby take the object. It's the other cuff link In CBI Felicia: I didn't do anything wrong. Mcbride must've set me up. Lisbon: Rigsby, put her in interview one. Van Pelt: Boss, Nina and Lucas Hodge are here to see you. Lisbon: She say why? Jane: Because I asked them down here. (about Felicia) Rigsby, could you bring her through here, please? It'll just take a minute. Thank you. Lisbon: Are you gonna tell me what this is about? Jane: I'm just closing your case. (To Hodge's family) Thanks for coming down, Mrs. Hodge. This woman's name is Felicia Guthrie. She mrder your husband out of revenge for getting Von McBride off a charge for klling her brother. Nina: Oh, my god! Felicia: No, I did not kll anyone. Jane: Uh, we have evidence. We just need your permission for, uh, Lucas to make a formal statement, saying that he saw her at your housethe day of the mrder. Nina: You saw her? Jane: Well, he can fill you in later. His statement will give us a better chance at a conviction. Nina: Absolutely. Anything you need. Jane: Great. Thank you. Lucas, if you can confirm that this is who you saw, then you'll be on your way. Lucas: What's gonna happen to her? Jane: Well, probably life in prison. Uh, if she's lucky, she might get paroled in 25 years. Felicia: I swear, I didn't— I didn't touch him! Nina: Shut up! You took everything from us. Jane: Lucas, we need to book her now, so could you identify her? Lucas: No, she wasn't the one. I mean, yeah, she came to the house— Jane: Great. Thanks. That's all we need. Take her away, guys. Thank you. Thank you. Felicia: No, I didn't do anything! I didn't do anything wrong! Jane: Trust your instincts, lucas. They're always right. Nina: Let's go. Lucas: She couldn't have done it. Lisbon: What makes you say that? Lucas: I just know. Nina: Lucas, they have evidence. This bitch klled your father! Lucas: Don't call her that! It wasn't her. Lisbon: The only way we can know for certain is if you tell us who did it. Nina: Okay, stop talking to my son. You've got your statement. Lucas, let's go. Come on! let's go! Lucas: No! Nina: Lucas! Lucas: Stop! It was me. Interrogation Room Lucas: We were out for a driving lesson. I was driving badly that night, and my dad was on the phone the whole time, like he always was. Flashback, cell phone rings Lucas: He'd get mad every time I'd make a mistake, but I just couldn't seem to concentrate End of flashback Jane: Because of your run-in with Felicia Guthrie that day. You didn't talk about her until I asked, 'cause you felt sorry for her. You didn't want to draw suspicion to her, because you knew she didn't do it. You were trying to do the right thing. Lucas: I just kept seeing her in the driveway, crying, yelling about how my dad lied about her brother. Flashback, in the car Lucas: His phone just kept ringing... And he'd get mad at me and I'd screw up worse, and I just... I couldn't take it anymore. Next time his phone rang... I grabbed it from him. I heard her voice. Constance: hey, Gordon baby, It's me. can you talk? End flashback Lucas: That biker bitch— diamond. She kept calling him "gordon baby." Said she really wanted to see him. Felicia Guthrie was right. He was a liar. Flashback, he takes a stone and hits his father, flashback end's Lucas: I threw the phone into the woods, and he got mad. He promised me he'd stop. Doing drugs and cheating on my mom. And like an idiot, I believed him. I called my mom. she told me what to do. I grabbed all the stuff to make it look like a robbery, but I couldn't get that damn cuff link out. So I ditched his car in the lake. She drove me home. Jane: The lie gets heavy fast, doesn't it? I expect after a while, you wanted to go to the police and tell them the truth. Lucas: Sometimes I wanted to. Mom said no. She promised it would be okay. Jane: Well, it might be... Someday. Rigsby: Let's go. Lucas: I'm sorry, mom. Lisbon: You know, I have to wonder how that cuff link Rigsby found made it's way to Felicia Guthrie's house. Jane: That is a conundrum. Lisbon: Because I'll bet a year's salary that if I look in the evidence locker, the cuff link we found on hodge will have mysteriously vanished. Jane: Okay. I needed lucas to see felicia get arrested. You needed hard evidence to charge Felicia. So... I made it happen. Lisbon: By making an innocent woman think she was gonna go to prison? As if her life wasn't hard enough already. Jane: Yes, you're right. She does deserve some justice. Lisbon: It's good to see you care. Jane: You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. In the bar, McBride's cellphone rings McBride: Yeah? All right. (To Xander) I'll be back in a minute. He leaves Man: Hey, psst. Over here. It's Jane McBride: What's up? Jane: I thought you might want to know we caught Gordon hodge's kller. It was his son. Lot of issues between 'em. McBride: And you felt the need to tell me this from the shadows, dressed in this getup? Jane: Self-preservation. I figured I'd worn out my welcome with your friends. McBride: That's it? This is what you had to tell me? Jane: Well, no. There's another reason. You open that envelope, and the rat in your gng will be revealed. McBride: Oh, the rat. Three bikers arrive Jane: Now turn around and try not to look too guilty. He goes away Xander: What was that about? McBride: What, this? This is, uh... It's kind of funny, actually. Xander: Yeah, funny? He takes envelope and looks inside. There is money. Xander: Selling us out is funny?! McBride: Hey, man. you got it wrong, bro! Bikers catches McBride. Jane smiles at Felicia who enjoys watching.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x04 - Red Menace"}	foreverdreaming
Foster: Hello? What the hell? Beckworth Mansion, Eagle Creek, California Fisher: I appreciate your people coming in on this, agent Lisbon. Haven't handled many homicides— none, in fact frankly, I'm looking to learn from you. Lisbon: Not a problem, deputy Fisher. Fisher: Small town. We don't get much trouble. Jane: Well, that's a shame. Trouble's your business. Fisher: You could say. Victim's Alan Foster— 43 years old, married, no children. Architect. He bought the house a few months back, said he was gonna rehab it. Cho: Was the wife with him last night? Fisher: No, she was in the city. They have a house in San Francisco. I sent a man to break the news. Lisbon: Was anybody else in the house with him? Fisher: Nobody as far as we can tell. I don't know what to say. The house was locked up tighter than a drum when I got here. Took me half an hour just to shut off the alarm. Lisbon: Cho, check the alarm system. Either the victim let somebody in, or they broke in someplace. Fisher: It's a shame. Foster seemed like a nice guy. Jane: Whoa, that's a lie. You didn't like him one bit. Fisher: W—i-I didn't say that. Jane: Yes, you did. You thought he was rich, arrogant, pretentious, an interloper. He wore those trendy architect's glasses. Did you kll him? Fisher: Did i... No. No. What kind of question is that? Jane: He's got something in his hand. Lisbon: Jane! Gloves. Jane: Right. Lisbon: A brass button with the letter "b"? Jane: That mean something to you, deputy? Fisher: No. What's this guy's problem? Lisbon: That would take way too long to answer. Let's take a look inside. Fisher: Okay. It's this way. Fisher: Clear signs of struggle rules out su1c1de. Lisbon: That, and suicides usually open the window before they jump. Jane: What's troubling you, Fisher? Fisher: What? Nothing. What are you talking about? Jane: That button made your pupils dilate. Now you've gone pale. What's up, Fisher? What's troubling you? Fisher: Well, it occurred to me that the button could stand for "Beckworth, " And I got a little chill, that's all. Lisbon: Who's Beckworth? Fisher: Walter Beckworth. He was the original owner of this house—built it. Died 80-something years ago. People say he haunts the place. I've heard the stories since I was a kid, but nobody believes them. Jane: Right. Cho: Guy from the security company ran the alarm history. It's been up 6 hours since last night until the deputies turned it off this morning. No alarms or interruptions of service. As far as I can tell, no one's entered or left this building except the victim. Fisher: But that's impossible. Isn't it? Jane: Spooky. Outside, Van Pelt and Rigsby Van Pelt: I'm not saying volunteering is better work than this, but it makes me feel better at the end of the day. I see people smiling because of what I've done. There's something, I don't know, joyous in it. (to Cho) How often do we see people smile in this job? Cho: Leaving or crazy, never. The coroner took Foster's body. I'm gonna get his wife and bring her to the office. Lisbon and Jane are up on the porch. Van Pelt: Okay, thanks. Rigsby: She's volunteering at a homeless kitchen. Cho: That's cool. Rigsby: There's a man there. I think she's, you know banging home with this guy No! A volunteer. A chef. And she's not— I don't know. Not yet... maybe... I think... I don't... no. Cho: Dude, you need counseling. Lisbon: Somehow the kller got into the house without tripping the alarm or turning it off. Van Pelt: So the kller didn't come through the front door. Lisbon: Probably found some kind of hole in the system. Check the grounds and inside the house. Find out how they got in. Rigsby: On it. Jane: Grace, you're the spiritual sort. Do you believe in ghosts? Van Pelt: I believe the spirit survives death, and a troubled spirit can make itself known. Rigsby: Oh, come on. You don't seriously think there's a ghost here. Jane: Meh. I don't know. If you see one, let me know. CBI HQ, Sacramento. California Cho: How long had your husband been staying at Beckworth mansion, Mrs. Foster? Lilian: Off and on for about three weeks, since we closed on it. Cho: Why? It's pretty run-down. Lilian: To get a feel for the house before he worked on it. He said you should spend a month in a house before you thought about changing it. He's conscientious that way... Or was conscientious that way. Lisbon: We can take a break if you'd like. Lilian: No, no, no. Let's— let's just get through it. Lisbon: So you were at home the night of your husband's mrder? Lilian: Yes. Lisbon: We have to ask—is there anyone who can verify that? Lilian: Um, no, I was alone. Alan had been at the mansion all week. Lisbon: Was it common for you and your husband to be apart that long? Lilian: It was not uncommon when he started a project. He got immersed. Cho: Who might have wanted to hurt your husband? Lilian: Oh, I can tell you who was angry with him— Victoria Abner. Cho: Who's she? Lisbon: She's this hippie-dippy woman who lives in town, and she weaves linens and rugs. She used to own Beckworth. She's a descendant of the man who built it. Cho: She resented your husband for buying the place? Lilian: But not at first. There were tax issues that came with the property, so we thought she'd be but... about a week after we closed, she just blew up, claimed that Alan stole the house. It was vicious. Lisbon: Did she ever thrat your husband? Lilian: She sent some pretty scary e-mails. Lisbon: Excuse me. We need to see those e-mails. Lisbon: What? Jane: Walter Beckworth was klled in 1928— fight over a woman. You know how? Lisbon: No, and I don't care. Jane: He was thrown out of the exact same window that Alan Foster was thrown out of. Coincidence? Lisbon: Yes. Jane: Yeah. Well, it's all here. Is that, uh, Foster's widow? I need to talk to her. Lilian: As a matter of fact, Alan did mention some strange things. Jane: What kind of things? Lilian: Um, in the last week or so he heard some noises at night, like groans. He said sometimes it looked like things were being moved. I know it's a little creepy, but Alan wasn't too bothered. He was used to old houses. What does this have to do with how he died? Cho: Victoria Abner has no arrests, but three years ago a neighbor took out a restraining order against her—some argument about the neighbor's dog. Victoria got a little in-your-face about it. Lisbon: Go and see how mad she really was about Foster buying the mansion. Cho: Okay. Jane: And be sure to ask about the ghost, too. Lisbon: Do not ask about ghosts. Don't you think I know what you're doing? No ghosts. Jane: The ghost has something to do with Foster's death. Lisbon: No, it doesn't, because ghosts don't exist. Jane: Don't exist in your mind, but if you believe they exist, then they exist. The Beckworth mansion Rigsby: Anything? Van Pelt: No pry marks on any of the frames so far, no footprints under the windows. I don't see any sign of forced entry. Rigsby: Maybe it was a ghost. Van Pelt: Ghosts don't throw 200-pound men out windows. Rigsby: What do ghosts do? Van Pelt: I have no idea. Let's check the other side. Rigsby: So you gonna keep volunteering at the, uh, kitchen? Van Pelt: Oh, yeah. Rigsby: Making a lot of new friends, I expect. Van Pelt: I am. Yeah, that's the great thing about doing volunteer work. You meet so many new people that have the same kind of values and interests as you. Rigsby: Right. Van Pelt: Hey, look at that. Rigsby: What? Van Pelt: The lock on the door— looks new Someone cut it open. Well, if they haven't started work on the house yet... All the power tools are missing. Rigsby: What's there? Van Pelt: You think ghosts smoke filtered? Rigsby: (phone)Boss, someone broke into a storage area, stole a whole bunch of equipment and supplies. Maybe they broke into the house, too. Store Raimey: Can I help you? Jane: I see you specialize in local history. Raimey: Mr... Raimey. Philip Raimey. Yes, and you are? Jane: Looking for information on Walter Beckworth. Raimey: Are you with the police? Here about the Foster incident? Jane: Yes, but don't tell anyone. Patrick Jane. Raimey: Well, Mr. Jane, if it's Beckworth you're interested in, you've come to the right place. Jane: Thank you. Great store. Victoria: Agent Cho, of course I was angry with Foster. If someone stole your home, wouldn't you be angry as well? Cho: He bought the house, Mrs. Abner. Victoria: You don't understand. Cho: A house you haven't lived in since you were a child. Victoria: That's not the point. Drew: Sorry. I didn't know you were with somebody. Victoria: Oh, this is my nephew Drew. Agent Cho is asking questions about Alan Foster. He wants to know why I was so upset with the man who stole Beckworth. Drew: It is a complicated issue. Victoria: No, it's not that complicated. Drew: There are many factors to be considered— Economic and emotional. Victoria: My nephew is a lawyer. He's very sensible. That's good, because I'm not. There are no factors to consider. Foster was a thief and a liar. Cho: You couldn't afford the taxes on the house. You were grateful when he first purchased it. What changed your mind? Victoria: You have a very good aura. Cho: Thank you. Victoria: Excellent color—deep red... Grounded, realistic. And Foster's aura was pink, dirty pink. That's dishonesty, fecklessness. When he came to me he said he wanted to preserve Beckworth. He lied to me. He wanted to gut it— my childhood home, and I couldn't let him do that. Drew: Look, agent, the Beckworth mansion is understandably a very emotional subject for my family, but whatever she may have felt or said, my aunt is incapable of hurting anybody. Cho: Where were you last night? Victoria: In my home, in my bed, not klling Alan Foster. Cho: What about you? Drew: I was here. I've been staying with my aunt on and off ever since she was forced to sell the place. Victoria: He's been helping me out with my legal things. I'd be lost without him. Drew: Tax liens and escrow— nothing too complicated. Cho: Excuse me. (Phone) Cho. Jane: Cho, did you ask about the ghost? Cho: No, you heard Lisbon. Jane: I am talking to the local historian. Apparently, Beckworth was deeply involved in spiritualism. Liked to explore the world beyond, held sences and all that kind of malarkey. So ghosts are relevant, my friend. This is very important. Cho? Don't leave me hanging. Cho: Ma'am, do you know anything about ghost at the mansion? Victoria: Of course. That's the spirit of my grandfather Walter Beckworth. He used to visit me when I was a child. Cho: She says there's a ghost. Jane: Thank you. No surprise there. Mmm. Clover honey? Raimey: Yes, as a matter of fact it is. Cho: Jane? Jane: Mm. Sorry. Uh, Mr. Raimey says there's also a hidden treasure there. Raimey: Rumored treasure, purely rumored. Jane: Rumored treasure some fortune Beckworth hid in the house. Does Abner know anything about that? Cho: Beckworth's treasure? Victoria: Oh, yes. Everybody in the family knew that there was a great, mythic treasure. We gave up looking for it years ago. It was a fraud. If it wasn't, do you think I'd be living here? Cho: She says no treasure. Jane: Hmm. Got it. Thank you. Cho: Okay. Jane: No treasure. Clover honey. Jane: Well... thank you. Raimey: If there is anything else I can do... Jane: Well, there is one more thing. How did Beckworth make his money? Raimey: Oh, he was a bootlegger— very successful one. It's in, uh, that one, the second from the bottom. Jane: Okay. Thank you. Uh, did you ever cross paths with Foster? Raimey: Once or twice. He seemed pleasant enough. Never paid very much attention. Jane: You deceitful old bag of bones. Raimey: Excuse me? Jane: You heard me. The Beckworth mansion Rigsby: Nothing on the exterior of the house. Van Pelt: Let's check inside. That's weird. Rigsby: What? Van Pelt: Thought this was shut. Did you hear that? Rigsby: Yeah. Someone's upstairs. Van Pelt: I thought everybody left. Rigsby: Hello? It came from in there. Van Pelt: Old wiring, I guess. Rigsby: What was that? Van Pelt: CBI. Come out. Rigsby: Police. Whoever you are, come out of the room with your hands above your head. Jane? Where'd he go? Van Pelt: How'd he do that? Jane: It's easy. I'll show you. Ah, you see? It's all switches. There's a system of pipes that carry sound throughout the house. Rigsby: Hello? Jane: Yeah. It's all fake— Because, my credulous Van Pelt spirits are smoke and mirrors and that's all that they are. Rigsby: And the ghost? How did you do that? Jane: Ah, the piece de résistance. If you could stand in the corner, my friend Rigsby, and, Grace, if you could take your place out by the doors. Pepper's ghost. It's an old conjurer's trick— a simple optical illusion. All you need is a sheet of glass that slides out of the wall... Rigsby: It's a reflection? Jane: And lighting. And off. Rigsby: Beckworth had all this built just so he could hold séances? Jane: So he could amaze and terrify his guests with his mastery of the occult, and it's been used recently. Someone has cleaned the dust off. Van Pelt: So somebody was trying to scare Foster. Jane: Mm-hmm. Van Pelt: Why? Rigsby: And how did they get in the house? The alarm would have been on the whole time. Jane: Come with me. Beckworth was a bootlegger during prohibition, which meant he had to smuggle liquor into the house and hide it someplace the authorities couldn't find it. This house is riddled with secret passages. Van Pelt: Including ones that lead outside? Jane: Head down. Take a look. I'll check the outside walls. No doubt one of us will find the secret passage. Van Pelt: After you. Rigsby: Oh, thank you. Lisbon: Jeb Haas? Jeb: Who wants to know? Lisbon: Agent Lisbon, C. B.I. Jeb: Pretty little thing like you? Lisbon: I have some questions for you regarding Alan Foster's mrder. Jeb: I got nothing to tell you. Lisbon: Looks like there were some construction supplies stolen around the time of the mrder. Deputy Fisher says you're the local thief most likely to steal that kind of stuff. Jeb: Fisher sent you? That son of a bitch. I don't know what he told you, but, um, I don't know anything about a break-in or any mrder. Lisbon: Then you won't mind coming down to the station with me. Jeb: What if I don't want to go? Lisbon: Sir, this doesn't have to be difficult. The Beckworth mansion Van Pelt: You okay? Rigsby: Yeah, yeah. You? Hey, look at that. Wine cellar. Van Pelt: Wonder if any of it's still good. Rigsby: I doubt it. Van Pelt: What was that? Rigsby: Eh, probably rats. Van Pelt: Oh, god, no. I hate rats. Rigsby: It's just a ghost then. Van Pelt: You don't believe in ghosts. Rigsby: Yeah, but you do. Wait upstairs, if you like. I'll take this one. Van Pelt: Oh, thanks. That's okay. CBI Cho: Same night that Foster was klled, you broke into his pool house and stole a few thousand dollars worth of tools and equipment. We know because we found some of the stolen equipment in your vehicle and we found this cigarette butt in the pool house. It'll definitely have your D. N.A. on it. Jeb: Everybody knows that place is all wired up with some fancy alarm system. I didn't kll anybody. I never saw Foster, and I never went into his house. Cho: Nice if you could prove that. Jeb: I can't, but I do have some particular information on that evening— Information that you want. Cho: Okay. Jeb: Unh-unh. Not until I get a deal on the theft and the breaking and entering charges— A good one, too. Cho: You want a deal? Okay. And just to be clear, is this a deal for the theft and the breaking alone, or the tax evasion as well? Jeb: What? Cho: According to your I. R.S. records, you haven't filed a tax return since 2002. Unless you haven't earned a dime in income in seven years, You're facing some pretty serious tax evasion charges. Do you have any idea how much prison time that carries? Jeb: Prison time? Cho: Serious time, massive fines. I'm gonna let you think about it. Jeb: When I was loading stuff out of the pool house, I saw a car in the woods— A black BMW. There was somebody sitting in the driver's seat— Foster's wife. Cho: Lillian Foster? Jeb: I've seen her in town. She sat there the whole time. She never even noticed me. She just stared at the house. Cho: Was she still there when you left? Jeb: Yes. So you'll do I mean, about the tax thing? Cho: Don't worry. I was lying about that. The Beckworth mansion Van Pelt: What's wrong with it? Rigsby: I don't know. Maybe the batteries. Van Pelt: Don't ht it. Rigsby: Fine. You fix it then. Van Pelt: Let's just use mine. Rigsby: What? What? What? Van Pelt: Oh! Oh, I felt something crawling up my leg. Rigsby: Oh! Is it still there? Van Pelt: No. Rigsby: It was probably just a ghost. Grace? Van Pelt: Yes? Rigsby: I... Never mind. Never mind. Van Pelt: Maybe we should keep going. Rigsby: Grace, I love you. I've loved you from the first moment I met you. Screw the rules. Screw the CBI. I need you. Van Pelt: I, uh... That's, um... Rigsby: Unless you stop me, I'm gonna kiss you now. Jane: Eureka! Found it! Lisbon: (phone) Good work. Yeah, we'll meet you back at the office after we pick up Lillian Foster. We're outside her house now. Jane says he found another entrance to the mansion. Cho: I knew there had to be another way in. Lillian: How dare you come here, you crazy bitch! My husband just died! Lisbon: Is that Victoria Abner and her nephew? Cho: What are they doing here? Victoria: It seemed like a good idea to me. Lillian: Have you no shame? Drew: Mrs. Foster, if you could just please calm down. Lillian: You know what you are? You're a vulture. You're a crazy, obsessed old vulture! Victoria: That mansion is mine. It belongs to my family. Lillian: I will burn it down before you step foot in that place! Victoria: Lady, you need psychiatric help. Lillian: Oh, yeah? Hey! Cho: Hey! Break it up! Victoria: Aah! Get her off of me now! Lisbon: What the hell is the matter with you?! Come on. Come on. Victoria: You have no class! You're the one that came to my house! Lillian: You come to my house— Oh, yeah, I'm the crazy bitch? CBI Lisbon: How you feeling, Mrs. Foster? Lillian: Embarrassed. Lisbon: How'd you get into the ruckus with Ms. Abner? Lillian: She came by to ask if she could rent the mansion back from me, seeing as how I won't want to be living there. Jane: Did she say why? Lillian: I, uh, didn't wait to hear the details. She had been plaguing us all this time, and now this? I'm afraid I just... lost it. Lisbon: There is something else we wanted to talk to you about. You weren't in San Francisco the night of your husband's mrder. You were at the mansion. Lillian: You know about that? Lisbon: Why'd you lie to us? Lillian: I was ashamed. Lisbon: Of what? Lillian: Of why I was there in the first place. Lisbon: Why was that? Jane: She was spying on her husband. She suspected him of being unfaithful. Lillian: Yes. How did you know that? Jane: Because he's been unfaithful before? Lillian: Yes. He had an affair about a year ago. He was out of town. I was caught up with my work, and it happened. Lisbon: That's very understanding of you. Lillian: Oh, I was furious, believe me. But we worked on it— counseling and so forth, and I thought I had moved on. But I hadn't. I didn't trust him. So when Alan told me he would be spending this weekend at the mansion and wouldn't be coming home, I decided I had to go there to catch him in the act. Jane: But no one showed up. Lillian: No. I felt so awful that I left without talking to him. Lisbon: What time did you leave? Lillian: Around 10:00. Lisbon: Is there any way to prove that? Lillian: Um, I bought gas on the way home. The credit card company will have a record of that, right? Lisbon: Yes, we'll verify that. Lillian: I can't help thinking that if I'd stayed there, If I'd just gone and talked to Alan, he would still be alive. Jane: Mm, most likely you'd both be dad. Lillian: With the way that I feel, I might prefer that. Jane: That feeling will pass. Lillian: What do you know about that? Jane: Enough. Cho: How you doing, Drew? Drew: Fine. Thank you. Thanks. Cho: Your aunt's gonna be in with us a little longer. This fight's gonna take some sorting out, okay? Drew: I tried to stop it from escalating. That's why I was there in the first place, but the hostility just kind of caught me off guard. Cho: It'll be up to your aunt whether or not to press charges, but you're a lawyer. You know the deal. Drew: I'm not exactly a lawyer. My aunt likes to exaggerate. I'm a paralegal. Rigsby: Cho, uh, I'm sorry. You got a second? Cho: Sure. We're still gonna need a statement from you. Excuse me for a second. What's up? Rigsby: I told Grace I love her. Cho: Wow. Okay. Well done. Then what happened? Rigsby: Oh, nothing. Jane interrupted, and she hasn't said a word since. Cho: So tell her again. Rigsby: Right, okay. Tell her again. Okay, right. Victoria: Your aura is fascinating, Mr. Jane— So many hues. Jane: Thank you. The mansion's uninhabitable. Why would you want it back? Victoria: Sentimental reasons. Jane: Mm, no. No, that's not right. You're closed, furtive. You're hiding something. There's something in that house, isn't there? Something you don't want anyone else to find... Evidence of your guilt, perhaps. Victoria: That's absurd. Jane: No. You're right. That is absurd. It's something else entirely. Ah-the treasure. Lisbon: What treasure? Jane: Walter Beckworth's treasure he hid in the mansion. Victoria: I wanted my house back because I didn't like what Foster planned for it. He was going to destroy it. Lisbon: Foster had only been there a few weeks. How could you have known what he was gonna do before he did? Victoria: In conversation, he told me. Lisbon: Ma'am, we find out you're lying, you become suspect number one. Victoria: All right. How are you with riddles? Store Raimey: I found the clue a few weeks ago when I bought some of Beckworth's papers at an estate sale. It was in a letter to one of his cousins just before his death. Beckworth boasts that he's hidden his "great treasure" where no one can find it, and then he offers this clue—"if fortune is what you seek sincere, the only place to look is here." Jane: That's it? That's the riddle? Raimey: Yes. Jane: Interesting. Raimey: Of course, I told Mrs. Abner right away, but the house had already been sold to Foster. Lisbon: Why didn't you mention this before? Raimey: Well, it... it didn't seem relevant. Lisbon: It's motive. It's very relevant. Jane: Mr. Raimey and ms. Abner had agreed to keep quiet to avoid having to share the loot with anyone else, correct? Raimey: Yes, but that doesn't mean either of us klled Foster. Jane: Oh, absolutely right. Whoever klled Foster was simply trying to scare him from the mansion. It could have been anyone that wanted the treasure, even you, deputy Fisher. Fisher: That's right. I klled him. Jane: Did you? You denied it earlier. Fisher: Stop doing that. Jane: I need to see this clue. Where's the letter? Thank you. Raimey: What? Jane: Smells good. "If fortune is what you seek sincere, The only place to look is... hear." "Hear"— It's spelled h-e-a-r. Raimey: Well, I assumed it was a mistake. Jane: Hmm. There are no mistakes. The Beckworth Mansion Jane: Let's go. As you know, Walter Beckworth left a coded message describing the location of his treasure. I brought you all here to help me find it. The word "here" is misspelled in the riddle. I don't believe that's a mistake. I think that the clue itself. Lies in that word— "hear"—h-e-a-r. What comes to mind when I say the word "hear"? Raimey: Noise. Drew: Sounds. Cho: Ears. Very good. What else? Victoria: Music. Musical instruments. Jane: Definite possibility. Cho? Unveil it. Hmm. Aha. Lisbon: What is it? Jeb: Yeah, what is it? Jane: Beckworth's fortune Raimey: There's nothing in it. Drew: It's empty? Jane: Wait. Victoria: What is that? Jane: It's another riddle. Raimey: What does it say? Jane: "To find fortune and riches, one doesn't need help. All one must do is look to oneself." Drew: What does it mean? Jane: I don't know, but it's spelled correctly. Lisbon: It means we're wasting our time. Jeb: It doesn't even make any sense. Jane: Let's not rush to judgment. Lisbon: Beckworth probably put it there as a practical joke. Cho: Pretty lame joke. Victoria: But the fortune could still be here. Jane: I just need time to find it. Lisbon: We're not gonna waste any more time. I'm shutting this down. Everybody out. Cho, secure the place and set the alarm. Have Rigsby and Van Pelt set up on the mansion tonight. We'll take the shift after them. Nobody gets in this place, especially Jane. Understood? Cho: Got it. Everybody out. Jane: Lisbon. Lisbon. I—you—Lisbon, this Lisbon: bite me. We're done for the night. Jane: "Bite me"? Lisbon: It's too much? Jane: Uh, a smidge. Worked. It's fine, just a little over-the-top. Rigsby: So, uh, Grace... Van Pelt: Yes? Rigsby: I was wondering if we could do... Van Pelt: how do you want to handle this? Rigsby: Handle what? Van Pelt: The stakeout. Rigsby: Oh. Um, right. Van Pelt: Listen, about the other thing, maybe it's not the right time. Rigsby: Yeah. Yeah. Um, we could, uh, walk... Patrol the grounds. Van Pelt: Or maybe one of us could stay here while the other one patrols— alternate? Rigsby: Yep, that's better. I'll, uh, I'll go first. Van Pelt: Oh, that's okay. I can do it. Rigsby: I'm easy. Van Pelt: Well, if you want to go first, that's fine also. Rigsby: No, no, no. Drew: "Look to oneself." No! Jane: Nothing there, Drew. Never was. Drew: You planted the second clue? Jane: Aha. Yes. Drew: I didn't kll Foster. Jane: Don't be ridiculous. Of course you did. Only the kller knew how to get in here via the secret passageway. Lisbon: You proved your guilt just by walking in the room. Was it all just for the money? Drew: Just for the money? I spent years listening to my family go on about the Beckworths and everything that they had. I didn't get any of it, not one thing. And then my aunt told me about the clue and the treasure, and I thought I could get that for myself. I could have what I've deserved all my life. All I had to do was get Foster out of the house. Lisbon: So you haunted him. Drew: My cousin told me about the, uh, equipment Beckworth had built in. I just wanted to scare him. But Foster wouldn't take the hint. So I had to do something. I didn't mean to kll him. Oh, I didn't know what to do. And then, uh, I remembered the stories about Beckworth, how he was klled, how his ghost still haunts this place. So I threw him out the window the same way Beckworth was klled. It wasn't Foster's house. It belonged to my family. Lisbon: Put your hands behind your back. Now. Drew: When you first opened the box under the piano, was there anything in it? Jane: This. You klled Foster for an old key. Drew: I wonder what it opens. Jane: Oh, I know what it opens. Drew: What? Lisbon: He's just messing with you. He's mean like that. Come on. Lilian: Mr. Jane. I was just being briefed by one of your agents. Jane: Well, I hope they conducted themselves in a professional manner. Lilian: Thank you for everything. Jane: Well, my pleasure. Lilian: Do you mind a question? Jane: Uh, no. Lilian: I asked about you. What happened to your family— I'm very sorry. And I thought maybe it means you understand how it feels to lose somebody. Jane: Was that your question? Lilian: Do you think they know how we feel? The d*ad, I mean... How sorry we are... How we wish things could be different? Do you think they understand? Jane: No. Sorry. Cho: Case closed pizza? Lisbon: Case closed pizza. Cho: Rigsby eats all the sausage again, I'll be pissed. Lisbon: Are you okay? Jane: Right as rain. Oh, I have the perfect thing to go with this. Van Pelt: Wine? Rigsby: Just a little something special. Excuse me. I need a glass. Sorry. Van Pelt: Sure. I'm gonna leave in a few minutes. Wait five, then meet me at my car. Okay. Rigsby: Okay. Cho: Just a little. Please. Van Pelt: Oh, thanks. Mr. Rigsby. Rigsby: Cheers. Lisbon: Case closed. All: Case closed. Lisbon: Mmm. It's nice. Jane: Glad you like it. Cho: So what was the key to, Jane? The one you found in the box. Jane: The key? Beckworth's fortune. Lisbon: Give it up. Jane: Well, just because the fortune wasn't gold or cash doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Van Pelt: So what was it? Jane: Beckworth was a collector. He collected hundreds of one thing... Some of the finest, rarest examples in the world worth tens of millions of dollars. Lisbon: So what was it? What? Jane: Smells good. Cheers.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x05 - Red Scare"}	foreverdreaming
"Danny boy. The pipes, the pipes are calling. From glen to glen and down the mountainside. The summer's gone" Man: "And all the roses falling. 'Tis you, 'tis you must go And I must bide" Thanks ! Cho: Which one's ours? Lisbon: The one who looks like she blows her nose with $100 bills. Cho: They all look like that. Lisbon: Joke. That's her over there. Let's go. Cho: We shouldn't have to be asking for charity. Lisbon: The department needs the money. Smile. Lisbon: Mrs. Doverton? Hi. I'm Teresa Lisbon. This is Kimball Cho. We're with the CBI. You're sponsoring us for the event, I believe. Mrs. Doverton: Yes, of course. Yes. Welcome. I was very sorry to hear about your terrible loss— You know, those agents. Lisbon: Thank you. Mrs. Doverton: I can only imagine what you must all be feeling. Lisbon: We don't talk about it. Thanks. Mrs. Doverton: I'd like to introduce you to my nephews. This is Thomas. Lisbon: Hi. Mrs. Doverton: Say hello, Thomas. Thomas: Hi. Cho: Hi. Thomas: Please call me "Tom." Mrs. Doverton: And this is George. George: So, Miss Lisbon, what entertainment do you have planned for us this evening? Lisbon: Actually, a member of our team used to be in show business. He's sort of a magician, And he's going to entertain us, hopefully. Mrs. Doverton: How nice. Lisbon: Cheers. Rigsby: What? Jane: Just a smile. Van Pelt: He just smiled. Man: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jane Patrick of California Bureau Investigation Jane: Good evening. You're a very good-looking crowd. Thank you for coming this evening. You, too, back there. You look very regal up there in the window. My name is Patrick Jane. I'm from the CBI. This is an egg. Yes, I'm supposed to do magic tricks and read minds for you, but after some thought, I, decided what the hell? I don't really want to do that corny old stuff, so... Instead what I'd like to do is much cooler. I would like to transform your consciousness. Have any of you ever stopped to consider what lucky bastards you all are... If you think about all the suffering And the injustice in the world? Every second of every day there is someone somewhere crying out in pain and fear. A woman is rped. A child starves to death. A man is excuted for a crime he didn't commit. But here we are. We could be standing on a roof in some bangladeshi village, waiting for the flood Waters to recede. Carl: No! Jane: But, no, here we are, in this lavish ballroom, sipping french champagne, declining the hors d'oeuvres. Thank you very much. Yes. Put your hands in the air, anyone that feels lucky. If you think you are lucky, put your hands up. That's right. We here are all blessed by fortune. If you disagree, put down your hands. If you don't think you need to express your thanks for that blessing, put down your hand. If you're not willing to write a check that will save actual lives, then please put down your hands. That's great. Very good. Okay. Now magic. You, sir, put your left hand in your Jacket pocket and take out whatever is in there and show it to everybody. Jane: Thank you. Make those checks legible. Mrs. Doverton: A novel way of raising money, I must say. Jane: The direct approach sometimes the best. Mrs. Doverton: If you'll excuse me. Lisbon: You son of a bitch. You scared the crap out of me. Jane: Please, like I don't know how to work a fat crowd of suckers. Mrs. Doverton: What? No! George: What's the matter? Mrs. Doverton: Carl's been sht. Lisbon: Bypassed the alarm system somehow, shut off the security cameras. Prints are unlikely. When was the last time you changed the lock code? George: That was a classified 5-b vault door. I was told that no one could get through it. Insurance had damn well better pay. Lisbon: Good safecracker can get through anything with the right tools and enough time. Jane: This is beautiful. Look at that. George: Excuse me. Would you stop that, please? Jane: Sure. No problem. Just having a look. Got some cool stuff in here. Very cool. You two are brothers, right? George: Indeed. It's nice to see that the case is in such perceptive hands. Jane: Can hands be perceptive? I don't think so. So is it usual that your uncle is here after closing? Thomas: He's not our uncle exactly. Jane: I'm sorry. The man having sex with your aunt then. George: No. Thomas: No, but tonight was the benefit. Carl must have forgotten something and come back and surprised the thieves. Jane: Sure did. What's the deal with Carl and your aunt? How did they get together? George: They met four years ago at the club— The labor day senior tennis tournament. He was a pro back east. Lisbon: And they married, and he joined the family business? George: Yes, that's correct. Jane: Does your resentment of him, uh, create any tension? George: What resentment? Jane: Well, the old girl gets laid. Next thing you know, you got a new business partner. Come on. You resent him. Thomas: No. George: Carl's been a godsend, actually. A natural salesman, and he's made Esther very happy. Thomas: Yes, that's—that's the main thing. George: If I may say so, what I do very much resent Is the tone of your questioning. Lisbon: Huh. I'm sorry if we've offended you. I— Jane: No, don't say that. This is a mrder investigation. I can be as hard-ass as I'd like to be, thank you. Lisbon: Actually, it's not a mrder investigation yet. If Mr. Ward dies, which seems likely, it'll become a mrder investigation. Jane: Yeah, well, that's right. Yeah. He's not dad. Uh, well, uh, I apologize for my rudeness. Lisbon: Let's go. Jane: Okay. Van Pelt: We get a break in the case, boss. This is last night's footage from a parking lot camera across the street. That's Doverton & Co. Back there on the right. Okay, so now we zoom in like this and...There. That's him. Then I checked the new intersection cameras the city put in to catch traffic light violations. I figured I'd look at the ones nearest to Doverton's around that time of night. Car's registered to Doyle Murphy. His sheet's a mile long, and safecracking was his specialty. I got a current address in Locke. Lisbon: Nice work, Van Pelt. Quick. It's your hook. Contact local P. D. and have them pick him up. Take Rigsby with you. Van Pelt: Thanks, boss. Jane: It's all very neat and easy. Lisbon: Sometimes it happens that way. Rigsby: Yeah. I'll take a layup anytime, thank you. Jane: Well, you guys are the professionals here, but is it usual that there is a single perpetrator for this kind of a jewelry heist? Lisbon: No, at least two. Sometimes maybe three or four. Then there's the timing of the robbery. Weren't those diamonds supposed to be picked up the next morning? Rigsby: Yeah, 10:15, right when they opened. Lisbon: Gee, you think maybe it's an inside job? Jane: Uh, yes, I do. Rigsby: Yeah, well, guess what? We're way ahead of you, 'Cause we're doing background checks on the whole Doverton staff list. Jane: My provisional bet— provisional—Carl Ward. Van Pelt: Hello? He was sht three times. Jane: Best accomplice is a dad one. Rigsby: But he's not dad. Jane: Nobody's perfect. Lisbon: That's it? Carl Ward is crooked because he got sht? Jane: He's an ex-tennis pro. Rigsby: So? Jane: Shady people, by definition, disappointed. Should be on center court, Wimbledon. Instead is tossing lobs to rich old ladies. Makes him bitter and twisted. Case closed. Jane: I'm just saying. Lisbon: Go talk to Murphy. See what he has to say about it. Jane: I'm just saying. Rigsby: Jane knows about us. I'm sure he does. Van Pelt: Why would it be so bad if people figured out we're together? Rigsby: Because.... What do you mean, why? Van Pelt: I just mean, is this it? Rigsby: What? Here? This building? Van Pelt: No, no. I mean us. Is this all it's gonna be, sneaking around all the time, afraid someone's gonna find out? Rigsby: No, it's just the bureau rules. The rules are the rules, right? Van Pelt: Maybe I'm sick of the rules. Rigsby: Thar she blows. Van Pelt: You don't want to talk about it, huh? Rigsby: No, I do, just not here, not on the job. Van Pelt: We'll have to talk about it sometime. Rigsby: Yeah. Soon. Rigsby: CBI. I'd like to know about the, uh, resident who owns the blue beater there. Guard: Murphy? Pays his rent, makes no trouble. What'd he do? Van Pelt: Has he had any visitors recently? Guard: No. Oh, wait. Yeah, couple hours ago. Big guy in a cowboy hat, pimped-out truck. Stayed... five minutes, split. Rigsby: Does Murphy's room have any rear exit of any kind? A window? Guard: Nope. What did he do? Rigsby: Mr. Murphy? State agents. We need to talk to you. Mr. Murphy?! Van Pelt: Mr. Murphy?! Rigsby: Nobody ... I guess that lets Carl Ward off the hook then, huh? Rigsby: Ballistics owes me, expedited the report. This gn was used to sh*t both Doyle Murphy and Carl Ward. There were no jewels in the room or the car no prints on the gn. Lisbon: Start going through all of Murphy's known associates. We're looking for a cowboy in a fancy truck. Rigsby: Kind of a thin trail. Murphy's a career criminal. He has a lot of associates. Jane: Hmm. Maybe I can help. Lisbon: Just maybe? Feeling unsure about yourself, are you? Don't let one wrong hunch throw you. Jane: Well, "a, " we don't know yet that I'm wrong about Ward, and "b, " bring the motel desk clerk in. Maybe he can recall a little more detail than he thinks about this cowboy. Jane: Can you see him? What's he doing? Guard: He's getting out of the truck. And he's walking across the forecourt to Murphy's room. Jane: Can you read the license plate on the truck? Guard: No. Jane: Look closer. Guard: No, I can't. It's blocked. Jane: What's he wearing? Guard: Cowboy hat, brown. Black jeans. Sunglasses, aviator style. Jane: That's very good, Marty. What else can you see? He's wearing a T-shirt with a bulldog on the front, under it, "true blue." Rigsby: Donald Culpepper? Donald: Who the hell are you? Tsst! Quiet. Rigsby: I have reason to believe that you visited with Doyle Murphy At the starlite motor court. Is that correct? Donald: That's partially correct. I went to see him. He wasn't there so I left. Rigsby: Why'd you go see him? Donald: Social visit. Catching up. He was married to my sister. Van Pelt: We have sad news. Your ex-brother-in-law is dad. Donald: I'm in shock. How'd that happen? Van Pelt: He was sht. Any idea who might want to do that? Donald: No. Van Pelt: How about you? Donald: I have nothing but love for Murph. Why would you think otherwise? Rigsby: Well, because we read your rap sheet. You're a professional criminal implicated in several mrder. Donald: I'm a dynamic businessman who pushes the envelope. Anybody can imply anything. It's another thing to make it stick. Rigsby: Yeah. Get out. We need to continue this conversation downtown. Lisbon: Thanks. Jane: I deduce from the irritated tone of your phone conversation that I was right about Carl Ward. Lisbon: Half right. Jane: Go on. Lisbon: His real name's Carl Wysocki. He was in jail for kiting checks. He's got an ex-wife in Bayonne, New Jersey, who's owed $90,000 in back alimony. Jane: Half? Mrs. Doverton: So he changed his name. What of it? Lisbon: Did you know about the jail time? Mrs. Doverton: Yes, of course I did. Lisbon: And the ex-wife? Mrs. Doverton: Of course. He told me everything. Jane: Mm, liar. Bad liar. Mrs. Doverton: How dare you. Jane: Well, it's a compliment to your character. You rather be a good liar? Hmm? Mrs. Doverton: I knew everything about Carl's past. Lisbon: We're glad he told you, Ma'am, because we have to consider the possibility that he was somehow involved in the jewel heist and double-crossed. His honesty with you makes him far less of a suspect. Mrs. Doverton: Do you have anything further? My husband needs me. Lisbon: No, Ma'am. Thank you. Jane: How's he doing? Mrs. Doverton: He'll live. They were going to bring him out of sedation tomorrow. Jane: Excellent. Cho: Why did you visit with Doyle Murphy? Donald: I didn't. He wasn't home. Cho: If he had been home, what would you have said to him? Donald: "Give me my money." Cho: He owed you. How much? Donald: 200 grand and change. He comes out of incarceration this last bit he did and needed to go into rehab. Junkie son of a gn was there over a month on my dime. Cho: That's very generous of you. Donald: Nah. What am I gonna do? At the time— this was two years back— He's married to my sister. Moron. Cho: Then he kicks your sister to the curb after some domestic volence problems. And he still owes you 200 grand. Donald: One—my sister is a goblin shark. Freakin' Gandhi would take a pop at her. I got no beef with Doyle over that, believe me. And two—this money is what I'm telling ya. Why would I kll a guy who owes me that much money? Cho: Because he just made a very big score. Donald: Is that right? Cho: Yes, it is. Maybe you decided to take what was owed you And a little bit more. Donald: What score is this? Doverton's? Cho: You heard about that. Donald: Was on the TV. Nice work. Doyle did that? Wow. Cho: Did you ever own a beretta 950? Donald: As a matter of fact, I did use to have one of those. I didn't like the balance. I sold it to Doyle. Why? Lisbon: Well, I don't care what you're gonna say. I like him for it. Jane: What do you mean, you don't care what I have to say? Lisbon: He's obvious, so you're gonna say he's not the guy, because that would be boring. Jane: No, he looks good for it, superficially, at least. I was merely to say and we need to find out the links between him and doyleate and someone inside Doverton's. Lisbon: I thought Carl Ward was your man on the inside. Jane: No. I-I noted that he was a tennis pro And extrapolated from there. Lisbon: No. No, you said he was the guy. Jane: Well, if you recall— Van Pelt: Guys. I mean, boss. I think I found the link you're talking about. The old footage from the store's security cameras is saved on a hard drive off-site. I figured if Murphy had been casing the store, I could find him on the old footage. Lisbon: Who's that? Van Pelt: I'll enhance it. Jane: Oh. Wow. Lisbon: Tom Doverton. Thomas: It's a customer, I guess. I'm talking to a customer. Van Pelt: That's the man who robbed your family's store and sht your uncle. Are you sure you don't know him? Because you're talking like you're old friends. Thomas: No. I'm just helping a customer with their purchase. That's all. Van Pelt: And you've never seen that man before? Thomas: No. Van Pelt: And you don't know the name "Doyle Murphy"? Thomas: No. Cho: The kid's aunt and brother are here with a lawyer. Lisbon: Darn. We haven't gotten anywhere with him yet. Cho: You want me to stall 'em? Lisbon: It's best just to cut him loose. He's denying everything anyway. Unless we can make some connection to Culpepper and Doyle we've got nothing to hold him on. Cho: Okay. Lisbon: You go and ask Culpepper about Tom. I'll deal with the family. Lisbon: You can take Tom home now. We just had a couple of questions we needed to ask him. Mrs. Doverton: What questions? Lisbon: I'm sure he'll fill you in on the details. Mrs. Doverton: Well, I'd appreciate it if next time you wish to speak to a member of my family, you call me first. Lisbon: I'm sorry, ma'am. That's not our practice. Can I walk you to the elevator? Jane: You do know why I'm letting you go, don't you? Donald: Let me guess. I'm innocent. Jane: No, I figured you're stupid. Donald: Is that so? Jane: Yeah. Either you really didn't know That Doyle was gonna actually rob the jewelry store— Stupid innocent— Or you did know and you're gonna lead us to a clue— Stupid guilty. Donald: You should be more careful how you talk to people. Jane: Yeah, figure I'm pretty safe here. I mean, what are you gonna do? Donald: You think I care where we are? Jane: Go ahead. Do something, you miserable little sadist. Hello, Lisbon. Hi, Dovertons. Lisbon: What's going on, Jane? Jane: I'm just letting Mr. Culpepper go. We don't need him for anything, do we? Do we? Donald: Sometime, when you least expect it, I'll find you. Jane: You, uh... George: We'll wait for the next one. Jane: All right. So long, partner. Happy trails. Lisbon: Okay, what the hell was that? Jane: What was what? Lisbon: Letting Donny Culpepper go. You have no right whatsoever to make those kind of decisions. Jane: Well, you weren't gonna keep him here. On what? For what? He wasn't gonna talk. Be honest. Lisbon: I could have held him on the wapon charge. Jane: Oh, please— Lisbon: Stop. There's principle involved. Don't think I don't know what you're doing. Jane: What are you talking about? Lisbon: Showing the Dovertons to Donny Culpepper. You wanted to see if he recognized one of them, didn't you? Jane: You watch too much TV. I just thought there was no reason to keep Donny Culpepper here. Lisbon: Now that's just annoying. You're not even putting any effort into the lie. Rigsby: Hey, boss. Coroner's here. She's got something to show us. Jane: Wow, that's really beautiful. Coroner: I found it in Doyle Murphy's lower intestine. My supposition is that he swallowed it in an attempt to get a larger share of the loot before it was divided with any partners. Rigsby: Yeah, I guess Murphy misread that situation, huh? Lisbon: Did you find anything else surprising in there other than that? Coroner: Just that. Oh ! Lisbon: What the hell was that? Jane: Uh, I, um... Had a hunch that it was a fake. Guess I'm wrong about that. Lisbon: Uh, yeah. Where is it? Jane: Well, the good news is it's not out there. So it's in here somewhere. I'll find it. Anyone see a little, uh... Nope? Lisbon: There's gotta be a connection between Doyle Murphy and Tom Doverton. Yeah, but what was it? What would bring those two together? Rigsby: They have nothing in common. Van Pelt: What are you guys looking for? Rigsby: A diamond. Cho: What'd he do? Rigsby: ht it with a fre extinguisher. Cho: Of course. Jane: I got it! Lisbon: Oh, thank god. Where was it? Jane: No, I got where Doyle and Tom connect. Doyle was in rehab. Lisbon: Yes, and Tom Doverton does look the rehab type. Van Pelt, find out where Doyle went to rehab. Keep looking. Jane: Don't worry. This is the justice department. Who's gonna steal it here? Lisbon: You be quiet! Jane: All right. Director: Windward Clarity has the highest ratio of staff-to-patient of any facility in the state. Our philosophy mixes traditional western practices with spiritual aspects of the east. Now may I ask which one of you needs our help, or is it both of you? Lisbon: Actually, we just wanted ... Jane: It's her. Lisbon: No ! Jane: Oh, darling, please. Can we just this once do it my way?Just once? Thank you. In the beginning, it was just social, but, uh, well, more recently, uh... It's been starting to worry both of us. Right, darling? Director: Right this way. I'll introduce you to one of our intake specialists. Jane: Fantastic. Oh, uh, that's the office. I'm gonna have to take this. Uh, baby, you go ahead, take a look. I'll be five minutes. I'll be right there. Look after her. I'm very proud of you. Director: I understand your nervousness. Jane: I love you. Director: It's completely natural. But you've already taken the first step in recognizing... Director: Our kitchen is capable of preparing food for any diet. And of course, we have a pair of on-site nutritionists. Um, your husband is taking quite a long time. Lisbon: You should understand— he's not really my husband. Director: Oh, that's quite all right. We're not judgmental about such things here. Lisbon: That's not what I mean. Jane: Whoa. Uppers and downers. Uppers and— You're so rock 'n' roll, doctor. Director: That is private material. Doctor-patient privilege is sacrosanct. Jane: Yes, I know. That's why we did it this way. This is a mrder investigation. We can be as hard-ass as we want. I found it— The, uh, patient roster for the first two weeks of Doyle Murphy's stay. Guess who his acting sponsor was when he first arrived? Lisbon: Tom Doverton? Jane: No. George. Lisbon: The brother? Jane: Yeah. Direcotr: I will be calling your superiors. Jane: You know, a lot of people say that to me, and you know what I say? I say ... Lisbon: Let's go. Come on. Jane: Get some help, doc. That stuff will kll you. Thomas: George isn't here. He's already left. He's not guilty, you know. Lisbon: How'd you know we were coming? Thomas: The director of the clinic called. He told us what you'd done. George was in rehab with Doyle Murphy—that's true. But that's all that it was. Lisbon: So you're saying if we dig, we won't find any more contact between George and Doyle? Thomas: He came into the store. A guy like that at doverton & company? I mean... come on. If my aunt found out... Lisbon: We need to talk to George. Thomas: He's gone. Jane: Oh, really? Uh, I think he's hiding behind the door. George? George, come out. George: I'm sorry, Tom. You were just trying to help, but we both know there's no hiding from something like this. I had nothing to do with the robbery or Doyle Murphy's mrder. I only lied to protect my aunt from... The shame of my addiction. Tom, call Dicky Purcell. Tell him to meet me at the CBI offices. Thomas: Okay. Lisbon: After you. Customer: Excuse me. Do you work here? George: Uh, certainly, sir. Um, how can I help you? Customer: My wife—it's her birthday. George: Of course. Of course. Uh, Michelle? Michelle here would be happy to help you. Customer:Thank you. Deliverer: Mr. Doverton? George: Yeah. Deliverer: I need a signature for this. George: There you go. Lisbon: "You'll get a call in 2 hours. Take the jewels where you are told. No cops or your aunt dies." Rigsby: She's gone. George: Oh, god. Tom: Why would anybody kidnap aunt Esther? Lisbon: Someone thinks your brother was partners with Doyle Murphy. George: Well, you think so. Why shouldn't everyone else? Rigsby: Donny Culpepper. George: What? Who's Donny Culpepper? Lisbon: You saw him when we were waiting for the elevator. Jane: Doyle Murphy owed him a lot of money. He might think that that debt transfers with the diamonds. George: Okay, but we don't have the diamonds. Jane: Well, he doesn't know that. George: Well, you have to go arrest him right away. Lisbon: That's what we're trying to do, Mr. Doverton. Agent Van Pelt is working with local police as we speak. We're pursuing several leads. Thomas: But the note says no police. Rigsby: Well, it's a little late for that. George: Whoa. What are you gonna do? How are you gonna get our aunt back? Lisbon: We'll do everything we can to find her. In the meantime, when the kidnappers call, you have to try and stall them. Rigsby: Take that. Okay. George: Okay. Jane: It's almost time. You ready? Rigsby: Yeah, ready. Jane: And you? George: I don't know. Jane: Just stay calm. Keep the kidnapper on the line and keep him calm. Rigsby: Remember, keep going as long as you can, okay? Jane: Headphones? Rigsby: Yeah, other room. Here we go. George: Hello? Kidnapper: Do you have the jewels ready? George: How do I know you have my aunt? I-I demand to Kidnapper: No. You don't demand anything. You shut up and you listen. George: I-I—I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I just need proof before Kidnapper: Proof? I'll give you proof. Esther: Hello? George? George: Esther, are you all right? Kidnapper: There. That's your proof. If you want to see her alive again, you're gonna bring me the diamonds. George: I-I-I... I-I can't do that. I-I... Rigsby: Got it. Kidnapper: You think this is some kind of a game? George: No! No. I—I'm sorry. Kidnapper: Are you gonna give me the jewels? George: I-I... I don't have the jewels. I'm trying to tell you. Kidnapper: All right, then. This is your decision. George: Aunt Esther ! Kidnapper: You're next. Now I'm coming for you. George: Oh, my god. Jane: Stay right there. Thomas: Hello? Kidnapper: Where are the jewels, Tom? We both know you have 'em. Thomas: They're going to catch you. They're going to get you right now. Kidnapper: No, no, no. I'm gonna get you, Tom. I know everything about you. Yeah, Doyle Murphy told me everything. Thomas: Screw you. I'll give you $50,000,50 grand to leave me and my brother alone. Kidnapper: Oh, you think you're so tough. You give me what I want, or I will come and take it from you. Thomas: I'll make it $75,000, but no more. I'm not giving up the diamonds. Kidnapper: You stupid, rich brat. You think you can dictate terms? Jane: Not this time, Tom. Not this time. I'm gonna make you pay and pay. Thomas: You try it. You try it, and you see what happens. Jane: Tough guy, huh? You're gonna give me the same thing you gave to Doyle Murphy? Thomas: That's right. You push me hard enough, and you'll see. Jane: Okay. Thanks, Tom. That's great. Rigsby: Got it all on tape. You're going down. Give me the phone. Hands behind your back. You're under arrest for the mrder of Doyle Murphy. Let's go. Jane: Like a charm. Jane: Ah, tea. Lovely. Lisbon: Mrs. Doverton? I'm sorry, but we've had to mislead you a little to solve this crime. I'm afraid I've got some difficult news. Your nephew Tom was involved in this robbery. Mrs. Doverton: Tom... Jane: Oh, hey, Carl. Welcome back. Carl: Where am I? Jane: In the hospital. You just came out of an induced coma. Can I ask you a question? Carl: What happened to me? Who are you? Jane: Never mind that. Tell me— Esther Doverton— It was all a scam, right? You just wanted to cash in with a rich, old broad. Carl: Excuse me? Jane: Oh, come on. You don't need to be coy with me. It was a great score. Plus, she's, uh, she's pretty good-looking, which is an added bonus with these kind of scams. Carl: Are you talking about my wife? Who the hell do you think you are? Jane: Wouldn't that be a better question for me to ask you, Mr. Wysocki? Carl: So that's it. Jane: Had to end sometime. You had a pretty good run. And you know what? Between you and me, I think you could squeeze a little more nickel out of this poor old bat. What do you think? Carl: Don't you talk about her like that. That woman is the only good thing that's ever happened to me. I love her. Jane: You sure about that? Carl: Shut up and get out of here, you son of a— Jane: Okay. All right. Gotcha. Told you he loves you. Mrs. Doverton: What are you trying to do, k*ll yourself? Carl: I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Jane: A long time ago, that might have been a frog or a fern or a dinosaur. Then it died, turned into coal and— Rigsby: Yeah, I know. I did first grade geology, too. Jane: Well, I'm just saying, it's, uh, just compressed carbon to me. If you want to keep it, I never saw a thing. Rigsby: What? Get outta here. I wasn't even thinking about that. Jane: Well, if you say so. Rigsby: Seriously, you'd let me just walk out of here with this? Jane: Do you want to? Rigsby: No, of course not. I mean, yes, I'm tempted. Jane: Okay, then. Put it in your pocket. Rigsby: This is a trap, isn't it? Jane: Are you nuts? What do I care about your integrity? Rigsby: Oh, yeah, trap. Okay. Jane: Oh, uh, Grace. Rigsby put something in your pocket. Van Pelt: What? Houah !! Rigsby: H-he's messing with you. Jane: Oh, it's compressed carbon. If you want to keep it... I don't know about Rigsby, but, uh, I wouldn't tell a soul.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x09 - A Price Above Rubies"}	foreverdreaming
Baseball field Lisbon: Nice place. Where does a baseball scout get this kind of money? Cho: Barney Sloop? He's got 15 players in the majors right now and a piece of everything they make. A million-dollar eye for talent. He spots 'em young all over the world, brings 'em here, trains 'em, gets 'em fat pro contracts. Jane: So you played. Cho: I played a little. Jane: Pitcher? Controlling the action? Man with the ball. Cho: Ah, I stopped. Jane: Which you still have unresolved bad feelings about. Yeah, now I see it. That's why you joined the gng. Your parents thought you were wasting your time, so they made you quit baseball, crushed your dream. You were angry about it, but you couldn't express that directly, so you joined a gng as an outlet for all that anger. Cho: Actually, I tore my a. c.l. Nice try. Jane: Parents. It's funny, isn't it— big regrets in life people keep to themselves? Lisbon: I don't know. I tell people about you. Jane: Nice one. A zinger. High and tight. Policeman: Yeah, as close as we can tell, the mrder occurred around 10:30 p. m. Cho: Thanks. No big mysteries, wapon-wise. Looks like three or four blows. Lisbon: Rage klling. Cho: The coroner estimates t. o.d. around 10:30 last night. Freddy: Look like they're here, finally. Freddy Fitch, Barney's partner. I want to know who did this, quickly. Lisbon: Agent Lisbon. This is agent Cho. Jane. Freddy: Anything you need, it's yours. I can't believe it. Jane: This was his garden? Freddy: His peace garden, he called it. A year or so ago he got into all this zen malarkey. Lisbon: Who had access to this area? Freddy: Everyone at the academy— six players in residence, family members, staff. Lisbon: We'll need a list. Freddy: Sure, sure. But trust me, no one here w-would hurt Barney. Lisbon: You discovered the body? Freddy: I was out of town yesterday-a high school clinic in Portland. Flew back early this morning, came straight here, found him like this. My God. Man: Run, run, run! Come on! Work it, Scotty, work it! Lisbon: His body's still warm, and they're training? Freddy: I said they could skip the workout. They wouldn't. "hold on to the dream." that's what he told them. Barney was like a father to these kids. Man: Pitching is legs! Boy: Look, Dad, I'm ahead of you! Jane: Seems they have their own fathers. Freddy: Ah, these kids are minors. We bring the dads out to sign off on deals, moral support. Scotty Sinclair and Snake Gallidos. Five drooling scouts coming today. Lisbon: Maybe now isn't the best time. Freddy: Barney set this up— his last showcase. I'm gonna honor that I know you gotta talk to them. It's your job, but please. Jane: Hey, we can let the kids finish their practice. Let's take a look at his house. Lisbon: How do you know where it's at? Jane: 'Cause this thing is a map of his whole life— work, garden, home. Zen malarkey. I don't expect it's much to look at— a simple bed or a thing or... The Mentalist [Season02 Episode10 Throwing fre] Baseball field Lisbon: Jane? Jane! Cho: You all right? Jane? Flashback 1986 - Circus Jane young: I see it. A cigarette case. Jane's father: A cigarette case. Yes! Yes! Very good. But... What's it made out of, son? What kind of cigarette case, Patrick? What would you say? What's it made of? Jane young: Sterling silver. Jane's father: Your sterling silver cigarette case back, ma'am. Next object would be— Jane young: the cigarette case... It once belonged to someone very, very close to you. Woman: That's right. Jane's father: Yes! The boy wonder sees all. The next object, Patrick— Jane young: someone who's passed on... Quite recently. Woman: Last month. Jane young: Your grandfather. No. Your grandmother. She loved you... Very much... More than she may have expressed. Jane's father: What the hell was that? "your grandmother loves you very much"? Jane young: Well, did you see her face? It was beautiful. Jane's father: No, it was a needless risk. Jane young: An heirloom she carries with her— that's a recent death, and she's too young for dad parents. So... a grandparent. Jane's father: So what? I'd moved on. It's a double act, kid. You don't fly solo. Jane young: You know, you're always saying, when you're working strong, work strong, be brave. Well, I was working strong, and I was right. Jane's father: No, there is no "right" if there's no payoff. This is show business, not show art. Your stage clothes are walking by themselves. Wash 'em good. That private reading... It came through. Jane young: You got it? When? Jane's father: Tomorrow. This is a big score, Patty— big enough for us to blow off this outfit, step up in class and get ourselves some new wheels, even. Only one thing worries me. It's you, my boy. Are you up to it? Jane young: Oh, you know I am. Of course you are. The boy wonder sees all. Baseball field Cho: Can you stand up? Can you talk? Jane: Ouch. Now that was talking. Lisbon: He needs to see a doctor. Cho: Yeah. Jane: I've never caught a foul ball before. Lisbon: Technically, you still haven't. Cho, you take him. Cho: Yeah. Jane: Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm fine. Cho: How many fingers? Jane: Six. Haven't we got a mrder to solve? Lisbon: You were unconscious. Jane: No, I wasn't. Cho: Jane, you were. Jane: Was not. Your turn. Okay, I'll see a doctor. Uh, excuse me, doctor? I know. Real, live patient. I'm excited, too. Barney's house Freddy: Barney lived simple-all work, all the time, 24/7. Left his wife, gave her the big house. A clean, simple life— that's all he wanted. Lisbon: Barney was married? Freddy: Still is—Leslie. A piece of work. Like I said, he moved out a year ago. Jane: After their son died. Freddy: He was 3, choked on a balloon. Leslie just fell apart— angry at Barney, the whole world, couldn't get past it. I called her this morning after I called you. She wouldn't even pick up the phone. Bad things happen, and you deal with 'em. Lisbon: And Barney did? Eh, he put his head down, went to work. Found Snake in the Dominican and Scotty somewhere in—in Kansas Meanwhile, Leslie is stuck living in a— in a world of hurt. Jane: I feel it. CBI Rigsby: Let's check out the wife— Leslie Sloop. Van Pelt: Working. Rigsby: Okay. Barney's house Freddy: Drinking like a fish, picking up strangers, calling Barney at all hours, screaming... I don't get that kind of anger. Okay, her kid died. I-is that gonna bring him back? Jane: You don't have kids. Freddy: No, I don't. Uh, the ballplayers should be heading in. Jane: With Barney dad, I'm assuming that you get the, uh, controlling interest in the academy. Freddy: What's that got to do with it? Jane: Money-traditionally a very popular motive. Freddy: Excuse me? Jane: I imagine these two had their differences— the gold watch, the italian suit— oh, I'm sorry—the taiwanese suit made to look italian. Freddy: I don't have to listen to this. Jane: Not exactly emblems of the clean, simple life. There was a culture clash, yeah? Freddy: No. Lisbon: Jane. Jane: Plus what is it exactly you bring to the table? Barney was the brains, the real scout, the star— I mean, the Sloop academy. Jealousy-motive number two. Freddy: I klled him. I-I mrder my best friend. Jane: Did you? Lisbon: Jane, come on. Freddy: Get this jerk away from me. Jane: Seriously, get it off your chest. You'll feel a lot better. Freddy: He was my friend! Jane: How did that feel, crushing your friend's skull with that bat? How did that feel, huh? Lisbon: Back off now. Jane: I'm just checking him out. Lisbon: And? Jane: Well, ambivalent reading, to be honest. Maybe he did it. Maybe he didn't. But one thing he does understand—that's anger. No offense. You think I can skip these interviews? Lisbon: Please. Jane: Thanks. Room Lisbon: Scotty Sinclair? Scotty's father: Doc Sinclair. He's 17. You're talkin' to him, you're talkin' to me. Snake: Two, maybe three months ago, I was having control trouble— my slider. Mr. Sloop said I needed to "quiet my brain." We raked together in his garden. Snake's father: And it worked. Snake: I would never hurt Mr. Sloop. Scotty: He gave me everything. He brought me here. He hooked me up with great coaches, regular school. Lisbon: And money to live on-an advance, some kind of endorsement deal? Scotty: Got, like, ten free pairs. Scotty's father: Which we're gonna have to pay back if he blows this showcase. Scotty: Barney cared. Okay? He taught us how to handle money, invest it. He taught us how to handle life. Scotty's father: Are we done yet? He's supposed to be throwing right now. CBI Rigsby : (phone) Right, yeah. Got it. Thanks, Frank. Barney's life insurance payout— $20 million. Van Pelt: Let me guess-sole beneficiary Leslie Sloop. Rigsby : $20 million— that's a pretty good motive. For $20 million, I'd kll you. Van Pelt: Oh, really? Rigsby : No, I mean, um, kidding. It was a... Joke. Van Pelt: Still the machine. Rigsby : Let's go see her. Leslie's house Van Pelt: Someone needs parking lessons. Narcisco: Who are you? Rigsby: We're looking for Leslie Sloop. Narcisco: Bitch ain't here, man, and I called the real cops. Hey, man, what took you? Van Pelt: Hey, Narcisco! Rigsby: Wait. You know him? Van Pelt: You don't? Narcisco Rubrero— walk-off homer, game one, world series? Help us out, Narcisco. Where is she? Policeman: Let's go downtown and get a statement. Rigsby: Hold on, you guys. We got dibs here. Narcisco: She scratched my face. I think I'm bleedin'. Look, she smashes her car, so she steals mine— my Lamborghini. Van Pelt: Where did she go? Narcisco: I got a gn in that car. It's all legal. I got, like, a—got, like, a permit. Rigsby: Narcisco, where is she? Narcisco: I don't know, man. She kept screaming about her little angel. You know, she had to see her little angel. Rigsby: The son— Michael. Narcisco: She stole my car! Rigsby: So take it up with the real cops. Baseball field Cho: Jane? Lisbon wants us back at the office. Jane? Wrong way. Jane! What are you doing? Jane: They say there's no seasons in California, but that looks like fall. Cho: No, looks like you need a doctor. Jane: I am kind of dizzy. Flashback Jane's father: Okay, hotshot. Female, third in line. Jane young: Okay. New mom, recently married. One of her first days out. He is gonna get her a better ring. Jane's father: Who is? Jane young: Members only. They had to get married. Jane's father: Yeah, that's my boy. You have x-ray eyes. No doubt about it. Baseball field Cho: Jane? Jane: I'm okay. Snake and Scotty are about to pitch. We can't Miss that. Cemetery Leslie: Oh, Michael, I'm so sorry. What did I do? Rigsby: Mrs. Sloop? Leslie: I'm with my son. Rigsby: Mrs. Sloop, I'm sorry. We need to talk to you about your husband. Leslie: No, no. You need to go. Really, you do. Don't you see? This is private. I don't want to talk. I just... I just—I want to end this. Please just leave me alone. Van Pelt: I'm sorry. We can't do that. Leslie: You have to. Please. Because I... I don't know what else to do. Van Pelt: Mrs. Sloop. Leslie: Oh, my god. I'm so sorry. Van Pelt: I've never had children. I-I can't even begin to imagine your loss. Leslie: No. N-no, you can't. So just stop. Please just leave me alone. Just stop talking. Van Pelt: I'm not going to stop. I can't. My sister-she was just like you. Leslie: I don't— I don't want to hear this. Van Pelt: She wanted it to be over... For her. It was always about her. She couldn't talk to me. Leslie: About what? Van Pelt: About anything. I'm her sister. But she didn't-not to me, not to anybody. She just ended it for her. Leslie: I don't know what else to do. Van Pelt: Give me the gn. Put it down. You don't want to do this. Not here. Give me the gn. Leslie: I'm so sorry, Michael. Rigsby: It's okay. Come on. It's okay. It's okay. Baseball field Snake's father: Not now. You know that. OK. OK. Look, I'm busy here. Your brother's tryout is today. No. No way. Bye. That's my older boy. He's a pitcher, just like Snake. He's just as good, too. But he's 22. In baseball years, he's an old man. Jane: Yeah, these pro teams, they like 'em young these days. Like Snake—plenty of time for improvement. Cho: We caught a break. The wife looks good for it. Jane: What was that? Was that a fork—did he just throw a forkball? Cho: It was a slider. We gotta go. Lisbon wants you to take a look at the wife. Jane: Slider? You know, I'm still a little dizzy. You go. Really, I-I'll get a ride. People love driving with me. Couldn't find sunflowers. Not quite the same. CBI Lisbon: Leslie, where were you last night? Leslie: We went to the movies. I don't— I don't remember which one. Lisbon: You're not supposed to take these when you're drinking. Leslie: It was so loud—there were gn and helicopters and people screaming. Ugh, there was so much screaming. Darn. These are supposed to keep me calm. Just one a day. That's what the doctor said. That'll do the trick. Lisbon: Leslie, did you go see Barney last night? Leslie: To see Barney? Mr. Zen? Mr. Acceptance? Why would I do that? Leslie: Tell us about Narcisco. Leslie: Narcisco? Oh, yeah. He's one of Barney's players. I sometimes slept with those guys. Did you know that? I did that sometimes to make him mad. He didn't even care. Van Pelt: She's going around and around, but I think she's gonna give it up. Rigsby: I thought you were amazing out there today. I just wanted to tell you that. Van Pelt: Thank you, I guess. Rigsby: Can I ask you something? Van Pelt: I don't have a sister. Rigsby: No. I didn't remember one. Van Pelt: It just... Came out. Baseball field Scotty's father: Come on. Come on. Come on. What was that? Come on, Scotty! What are you thinkin'? Snake's father: He gets down on him too much. The boy can throw. Snake: He can ht, too. Last night in the cage, he dinged me three times off my slider. Nobody touches my slider. Snake's father: That man is gonna kll the golden goose. Scotty plays like this now, imagine when he's 18 or 20 years old. He's only gonna get better. It's amazing, huh? Flashback Jane's father: There. I spent three long days at that crummy hospital finding the mark, setting up the play. And now... It's time to get paid. Baseball field Jane: We've been waiting for you. How you doing? Go, cho! Cho: CBI! Stop! CBI Lisbon: We talked to five bars near the beach. Nothing. Leslie: After the movies, I had an argument with Narcisco, and I went to Barney's. He was sleeping... In his garden. He wouldn't even talk to me. Lisbon: Leslie— - Leslie: I'm his wife! I'm the mother of his child. Shouldn't he talk to me? Lisbon: She was there that night, but he was already dad? Rigsby: If they were at a 10:00 movie, it adds up. Van Pelt: She knew he was dad. That's what pushed her over the edge. Leslie: I didn't-I didn't kll him. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. What would I tell Michael? Jane: Mm, you should let her go. Lisbon: Where? Even if she didn't kll him, she needs help. Your pants are ripped. Cho: We found a witness with immigration problems. Witness: A baseball player—he was very angry with Mr. Sloop. Lisbon: Yesterday afternoon? Witness: He was yelling... Loud. He say Mr. Sloop was stealing. And Mr. Sloop— he was very quiet. He was trying to walk away, but the baseball player— he followed him, very angry. Lisbon: That's it? Witness: Um, mr. Sloop, he went into his trailer. Then he come out, and he show him some papers. And then the baseball player, he got quiet. And that's when I left. Jane: But he'd recognize the player if he saw him again. Witness: Yes. Snake's father: It's the biggest day of their lives. Don't you get that? Lisbon: Barney Sloop had his head bashed in, Mr. Gallidos. Big day for him, too. Policeman: All right, line up facing the mirror. Witness: Him. Lisbon: You sure? Witness: Him at the end. Scotty's father: It's just not true. Scotty: Dad— - Scotty's father: I've got this. My boy doesn't lie. If he said he didn't— Scotty: I did. I went to see him, all right? But, I mean, I didn't kll him. Lisbon: What were you arguing about? Scotty's father: I don't believe it. You lied to me? Lisbon: Mr. Sinclair, please. Scotty: Yeah. I'm sorry to disappoint you, Dad. Lisbon: What were you arguing about? What did Barney steal? Freddy: He's not saying one word, because we're leaving now. Lisbon: Mr. Fitch— - Freddy: Scotty had an argument with Barney hours before the mrder. You got nothing to hold him on. Lisbon: Not yet. Lisbon: He had an argument with Barney. He was angry. He lied about it. Who's to say Scotty didn't go back that night and kll the guy? Jane: The kid didn't do it. He was angry with his dad, not with Sloop. If you think he did it, then check the cameras. Lisbon: What camera? Jane: The baseball field cameras. Snake let slip that he and Scotty were out there last night. Apparently, Scotty handled Snake's slider very well. Lisbon: You sure you're all right? Jane: Yeah, fine. Security cam. Should be time-stamped. Van Pelt: The guy who manages the multiplex in Castine City— he remembers a drunk couple fighting in the lobby. The woman was screaming about the movie being too loud. 10:00 show. Sound familiar? Lisbon: Go and show him a picture of Leslie and Narcisco. If he i. d.s them, that lets them out, too. Van Pelt: Okay. Lisbon: We're clearing people. We're supposed to be catching them. Flashback Old woman: We've tried everything. She finished her fourth course of chemo last week. And then the, uh, tumors in her lungs are growing. Girl: Cool shirt. Jane young: Thank you. Old woman: Now the doctors say there's nothing they can do, just make her comfortable. Jane's father: I know it... Must be difficult. Old woman: So when I heard about the crystal— Jane's father: ah, yes. The crystal. Girl: Does it really work? Will it shrink the tumors? Jane's father: Observe. Decide for yourself. Patrick? Son? Jane young: I'm sorry. Jane's father: Patrick! Girl: What's wrong? Jane's father: Oh, he... It's a stressful process. He—he just needs some air. Won't be long. Jane's father: Get up and get back in there. Jane young: I can't do it. I can't. Jane's father: Get up now. What part? What part can't you do? The gag? That's easy. I did the hard part. I put the money in the tent. All you gotta do is pick it up. Jane young: She's dying. Okay, we're stealing from a dying girl. Jane's father: Okay. Yeah, we're all dying, kid. Okay? We're all dying. But what we're giving her— because yeah, she'll be dad by Tuesday and needs it more than most— is hope. Do you get that? Jane young: I can't do it. Jane's father: Okay. All right. You're either with the show, or you're not. You're a loser, or you're someone who plays the losers. And you can't just back out when you feel like it, when it's morally convenient, when you don't have the guts. I've never backed out. I've been carrying you for a long time, and it's not gettin' any easier, son. No one like an aging boy psychic. Short pants don't look so good on a kid that needs a shave. Now... You're gonna need a new act. You're gonna work that out all by yourself? You going solo? Yes or no, boy? Are you with it? Are you with me? Right now. You gotta say. Come on. CBI Lisbon: 7:21—that's the last time we see 'em. Either one of them could have gone back to Barney's. Cho: Where you going? Jane: Baseball academy, I was thinking. Don't we have to solve this thing? Lisbon: Rigsby and Van Pelt are talking to the theater manager now. Jane: The wife? No, no. It wasn't her. The mrder wapon was a baseball bat. Baseball bat, baseball academy—common sense. Lisbon: Do you know who the kller is? Jane: What do you think? Lisbon: I think you said, "what do you think?" To make me think you do so I'll go with you, but really you don't. Cho: Baseball bat, baseball academy— that's not common sense. Jane: Great. We'll all go. Baseball field Freddy: All right, fellas, fellas, listen up here a minute, please. Before we start, I just want to say a few words about Barney Sloop. He was a great partner, a great friend to all of us and most of all, a great friend to the game of baseball itself. Let us bow our heads. Okay then. That brings us to Snake Gallidos and Scotty Sinclair— Barney's last and maybe his greatest discoveries— two pitchers with huge franchise potential. In a few minutes, guys, you're gonna see the future. Meanwhile, grab some food and a beer and make sure you've brought your checkbooks. Snake: What are you doing here? Jane: Well, we thought you might be relieved to know that we know you're innocent, so you can relax. Go out there and be great. You're gonna be superstars. Snake: That's right, baby. Jane: Women, cars, adulation, buckets of money all there for you. So who cares if your dad steals a little here and there, huh? Scotty: Hey, he didn't steal. Jane: Really? Scotty: Yeah. He just set up a new bank account. Jane: And that's what Barney told you when you went over there and argued, to accuse him of stealing— that your dad opened a new account without telling you. Snake: I don't think you're helping here, man. Jane: Yes, you two, you have the gift. The question is this—what are you gonna do with that gift? Snake: Play baseball? Jane: That's right. You're gonna play baseball. You're gonna sell soap. You're gonna be part of the big machine. Snake: No, no, no. Not soap, man. My own cologne— Snake for men." Jane: That sounds good. Scotty: So we sell ourselves. I mean, what else are we gonna do? Jane: Well, I'm just saying be careful that you sell your talent and not your soul. Don't let other people run your lives, not even your dads. And trust me, I know what I'm talking about. Snake: Oh, yeah? What's your talent, old man? Jane: Me? I read minds, and there's been plenty of times that I've misused that. Scotty: Read minds, man? Get real. Jane: I am real. Just like most people read books, I read minds. Snake: Okay, what am I thinking? Jane: You're thinking, "holy crap, I hope he can't really read minds. Otherwise I'd be in deep trouble right now." Right? Okay. Cho, could you hand me that pencil, please? Scotty, concentrate. Think of your birthday. Don't tell me. Month, day, year. Concentrate. Scotty: All right, I'm doing it. Snake: He's messing with us, man. Come on, we need to go out there. Jane: I'm reading his mind. Okay, got it. What's your birthday, Scotty? Scotty: April 10, '92. Jane: April 10, '92. Now how much money you want to bet that I can't read minds? You're gonna be a big sht baseball player, make a lot of money. How much of that money are you willing to bet that I can't read minds? Scotty: No way. Jane: Snake, you want in on the action? Cho's not going near it. He knows better. Snake: Show it to me. Scotty: No way. Come on. Show it. Okay, that's sick. Maybe he read it somewhere. Jane: Snake, it's my talent. You want to try? Your birthday. Just think of it. It's okay. Snake: I got to warm up, man. Let's go. Jane: All right. Maybe another time. Good luck. Snake: Thanks. Jane: You, too. Scotty: Thanks. Cho: What was that about? Jane: Just confirming a hunch. Cho: You okay? Jane: Yeah, I'm fine. Just give me a minute, I'll close this thing. Cho: My dad hated baseball. Jane: You gotta get over that. Probably never would have made the big leagues anyway. Flashback Jane's father: This crystal is from ancient Egypt. Its healing powers are legendary. Where there is sickness, it brings health. This may be hard to watch. Girl: No, don't! Jane's father: And when the crystal is applied... The burn is healed. The same thing happens with the tumors. They just disappear. Old woman: I want it. Jane's father: Ma'am, we are here for the next three days. You can have as many appointments as you like. Old woman: No. I want the crystal. I want to buy it. Jane's father: Oh, that's not possible, ma'am. Old woman: I brought cash. Jane's father: Ma'am, I'm sorry. It's been in our family for the past six generations. I can't. Old woman: Please! Jane's father: I'm truly sorry, ma'am. Jane young: Dad, she needs it. Just give it to her! Old woman: Please! I'm begging you. Jane's father: 10 grand, my son. You were great in there. The crying, oh, that was fantastic. I almost bought it myself. You earned this—every penny. I'm gonna be a little late tonight. The sideshow boys got a little poker going. so, uh... Wish me luck, hmm? Baseball field Jane: Snake, you left before I got to read your mind. Snake's father: What are you talking about? Go away now. We got to focus. Jane: Oh, I was just trying to get his date of birth. Snake's father: March 5, '92. Okay? You happy? Jane: March 5, '92. That's weird. I got the march 5th bit right, but I got the, uh, year wrong. I'm never off by that much. Five years. Snake's father: What are you doing? Jane: That would make you 22—22 years old. Snake's father: Get out of here. Jane: That's the same age as your brother—uh, Carlos. That's his name, isn't it? Snake's father: Shut your mouth, man! Get outta here! Cho: Take it easy. Jane: Barney found out, didn't he? Yeah? He found out that Snake was 22. He was gonna send him home. Snake's father: Shut your mouth, man. Freddy: What the hell's going on here? Jane: Jupiter klled Barney to conceal Snake's real age. Freddy: Holy crap. Is this true? Snake's father: I tried to reason with him, but he just walked away. Snake: Pa? Snake's father: Don't say a word, Snake. No digas nada. He doesn't know nothing. Cho: Nothing about what? Freddy: Holy crap. Snake's father: I... I didn't do nothing. I'm not saying nothing. Jane: Oh, come on, Jupiter. Let's be honest here. We'll let your kid throw. Right, Mr. Fitch? Yeah? Freddy: How old are you really, kid? On the bible. Snake: 22. Freddy: You might have a sht... Middle reliever maybe. If you double my cut, he can throw. Deal. Cho: Put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest for the m*rder of Barney Sloop. Snake: Dad. Snake's father: Man up, kid. Remember to keep the ball low. You get in trouble, throw 'em the slider. Cho: Come on. Jane: I just feel a little bit dizzy. I'm just gonna take a knee. I'm good. Man: Strike three. You're out. Scotty's father: You got lucky on that one. Scotty: I struck him out. Scotty's father: You set him up with the heater. You don't use it for an out, not in that situation. Scotty: I struck him out. Scotty's father: We'll talk about this later. I'm gonna make our deal. Scotty: No, you won't. I hired an agent. Lisbon: Let's go see a doctor. Jane: Why? Are you feeling unwell? Lisbon: No, you are. Cho said you almost fainted. Jane: Oh, it was just pretending. I hate these kind of dramatic scenes. Poor kid. Lisbon: Liar. You just don't want to go to the doctor. Jane: Well, what's a doctor gonna say? "you banged your head. Be careful." Lisbon: You might need an M.R.I. Jane: Now you're really selling it. Sounds great. Lisbon: Are you okay? Jane: Just kidding.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x10 - Throwing f*re"}	foreverdreaming
CBI Rigsby: (whispers) Hey, you. Van Pelt : (whispers) Hi. (chuckles) (footsteps approach) Van Pelt: (normal voice) Oh, hey. Rigsby: (normal voice) Hey, thought you'd gone home. Lisbon: I wish. We're up. There's a double homicide In Rancho Rosa. Local sheriff's in over his head. Rigsby: I'm on it. Van Pelt: Boss, you've been promising me more time in the field Now's as good a time as any. Lisbon: You're right. Rigsby, be a cover in the office on this one. Let's go. Van Pelt: You're okay with this, I hope? Rigsby: Absolutely, yeah. Wood (sirens wailing) (indistinct chatter over police radio) (indistinct conversations) Jane: What's going on? Van Pelt: Looks like two bllts to the chest for each of them. Freshness of the wounds suggest it happened in the last few hours. Lisbon: Selby and Jana Vickers, 33 and 31 years old, from here in Rancho Rosa. Sheriff I. D.'d them from their driver's licenses. Jane: Who found the bodies? Lisbon: Couple of teenagers. This place is a local lover's lane. Apparently, thieves know that, too. Sheriff thinks that it's a robbery gone sour. Van Pelt: Little old to be necking, aren't they? Jane: There's an age limit on that? Van Pelt: Plus their clothes aren't, you know, disheveled. Jane: Good point. Oh, there's a little white thing there, sticking out from Jana's dress. Could you ju— yeah that's it. Van Pelt: $800 dress. Jane: Aha! Lisbon: Is that a useful "aha" or an irritating "aha"? Jane: The borrowed dress tells us they were going somewhere fancy and wanted to make an impression. Not usually something they'd go for, or they'd have a later model car. He needed a few pulls on the scotch just to take the edge off because he was nervous about who was gonna be there, which in a small town like this, likely means relatives or people from his past. Van Pelt: Uh, wedding, maybe? Or birthday party? Jane: No gift, which leaves... Lisbon: No guessing games. Ay... Jane: Uh, excuse me, sheriff? What's the name of the local high school? High school (music factory) ♪ everybody dance now ♪ (indistinct conversations) Man: Stephanie? ♪ everybody dance now ♪ Oh, my God. You look fantastic. Lisbon: I'm sorry. I'm not Stephanie. Whoa. Do that again, and I'll arrest you. Man: Sorry, I had to. You've always been the one. Man: No way. (men laughing) Lisbon: Don't. Jane: I'm not the one. (woman) Whoo! (sighs) (indistinct conversations) Jane: High school. Best years of your life. Girl: Welcome back to Rancho Rosa high. Go, Toros! I'm Tess— one of your student ambassadors this weekend. Nametags and reunion books. Lisbon: We're with the California Bureau of Investigation. We need to know if Jana and Selby Vickers were expected here tonight. Girl: (whispers) um... (normal voice) Yeah, Selby Vickers and his wife Jana. They also replied "yes" to tomorrow's homecoming picnic and dance. Is everything okay? Lisbon: We need to talk to somebody who would know them. Girl: Um... Redheaded woman— that's Willa Brock. She's the reunion committee chair. Jane: You didn't really think we were young enough to be in this class when we walked in, did you? Girl: Oh, everyone over the age of 21 looks the same to me. Jane: Tactful and evasive— You're gonna do very well in life, Tess. Go, Toros. (giggles) Willa: I'm stunned. I mean, it was surprising enough Selby was even coming. Now this? Lisbon: Why the surprise? Willa: Well, he wasn't at the fifth or the tenth. Lisbon: Because... Willa: because he was expelled and never graduated. Cordova: Selby pulled this— it was a really nasty prank. What was it, senior year? Willa: Yeah. Cordova: It was his one and only. Vice principal Desouza caught him, gave him the ol' boot. Jane: What was the prank? Willa: Uh, there was this, shall we say, socially challenged boy named Derek Logan. Cordova: Selby dragged him into the girls' locker room, he blindfolded him with his own underwear, tied him up, naked, took his picture and then posted it all over the school. I mean, how sick is that, right? Willa: It was disturbing. Jane: Hmm. Uh, is there anything else you can tell us about him? Cordova: I played football— starting running back. People around here are still talking about the five touchdowns I scored against Stratton. Lisbon: What does that have to do with Selby? Cordova: I was popular. I was a jock. He was a nobody. I don't know what kind of person he was. Lisbon: How about his current life? Cordova: I got nada. I got out of this town as fast as I could. I live down in Newport Beach now. Lisbon: Hmm. How about you, Willa? Have you heard anything about Selby? Willa: Oh... (chuckles) I host a daytime talk show in Chicago that tapes two shows a day and is about to go national. I'm lucky if I hear anything about my own family. Jane: Uh, Derek Logan—that kid that Selby pulled the prank on— Could you point him out to us? (man chuckles) Gabe: Derek Logan? He's not here, is he? No way! (laughing) Willa: Gabe, it's so good to see you again. Gabe: You almost didn't. 5 hours I spent on the 101 driving here. (man) wow. Willa: CBI Agent Teresa Lisbon, Patrick Jane, This is Gabe Nyland. Jane: Hi. Lisbon: D.A. for San Diego county. You've prosecuted a couple of cases for us. Cordova: And now candidate for Lieutenant Governor of California. Give me the word, "g, " I start twisting arms for you on election day, huh? (chuckles) Willa: Um, Gabe, Selby Vickers and his wife were found mrder at the glen—sht in their car. Gabe: My, God. I hadn't even heard that name in 15 years till tonight. Any idea who did this? Lisbon: It's early in the investigation. Jane: You just got here, right? Gabe: Yes. Jane: So how is it that you knew Derek Logan wasn't here? Gabe: Well, Derek left the school and moved out of state after that prank Selby pulled. Word is he klled himself. Cordova: Are you serious? I heard he was a blackJack dealer at a casino. Lisbon: Uh, we'd like to talk to some classmates that still live in the area. Maybe they know something about Selby. Willa: Well, there are only a few, but, uh, the student ambassadors can probably point you in the right direction. Lisbon: Thank you for your time. Selby's apartment Cho: Nothing jumps out on this, but I'm gonna have the tech guys give it a once-over. Van Pelt: Mail's all big bills and small bank accounts. Cho: They certainly weren't living the high life here. Van Pelt: They didn't need to. This was home. They were happy. (cell phone ringing) Van Pelt: Agent Grace Van Pelt. Rigsby: (phone) Hey. So I got you next of kin info on Selby. Uh, mother in Rancho Rosa. No luck on Jana, though. Van Pelt: Thanks. Text me the address? Rigsby: (phone) Will do. So I've never been to Rancho Rosa before. What's it like? (beep) Van Pelt: Nothing special. A town. Rigsby: (phone) Cool. What are you guys doing now? Van Pelt: You know, investigating. (rewinding, beep) Cho: Van Pelt, come here. Check this out. Van Pelt: I gotta go. Rigsby: (phone) Y-yeah. I'm—I'm busy... Too. (hangs up receiver) (exhales deeply) (paper thuds) Cho: This is from yesterday morning. (beep) Answering machine: I'm done playing games here. You hear me? Either you get me my money, or I'm gonna be forced to take action. (click, beep) Cho: So much for happiness. High school Lisbon: Mm. So you haven't seen Selby once in all these years? Supermarket, movie theater maybe? Man: No. I mean, you know, if I did, I-I don't remember. (chuckles) Jane: Hard to believe you, Stu. Man: I'm sorry? Jane: W—uh, really? Okay. Yeah? The hair plugs, the heels, this, uh, professional woman here posing as your girlfriend... Girlfriend: Wait, wait. What did you just say? Whoa. (laughs) d-did he just call me... Did you— I-I mean— did he say to me that— Jane: That's all we need for your time. (laughs) That's all the questions we have now, so... Lisbon: Beg my pardon. (Stu laughs) Yeah. All right. Lisbon: That's all we have for now. Thank you. Jane: I think you look lovely. Have a good evening. Lisbon: Go, Toros. What's your problem? (clicks tongue) Jane: uh, it's just a room full of people lying to each other. Everyone here is trying so hard to show how much they've changed, when the mere effort screams that they haven't. Lisbon: Or they actually do change— with exceptions like Mr. Hair plugs, of course. You got the rebel who took the bank job, the player that stays faithful to his wife... Jane: The rebel took the bank job because she sees her rebellion is fruitless. The player stays faithful to his wife because the consequence of infidelity is much greater now. But their instincts— their instincts never change. Lisbon: I'm a far cry from what I was in high school. Jane: Eh, I wouldn't be so sure. Driven to succeed to the point of developing an ulcer, no tolerance for superiors less sharp than yourself, shutting out girls that wanted to hang out with you, blwing off boys that want to get close— All the while, at every turn, wondering, "what is it I really want?" Lisbon: No. Jane: And you played an instrument. my guess? Hmm. Clarinet. Lisbon: Not even close. And we're done here. I'll get the guest list to Rigsby. I'll have him check everybody out. Jane: Have him locate the whereabouts of Derek Logan. Lisbon: You really think Logan laid in wait for 15 years and suddenly decided to take revenge on Selby? Jane: Well, I think that Logan is as angry today as he was 15 years ago, maybe even angrier. Lisbon: We'll check him out. Jane: You know, I'm gonna stick around. I-I didn't go to high school. This is kind of fascinating for me. Lisbon: You never went to high school? Jane: No, I was busy. Lisbon: You can stay. Just don't make me sorry I let you. Jane: Bassoon. Mrs. Vickers's home Cho: Mrs. Vickers, when was the last time you spoke to your son? Mrs. Vickers: Um, this morning. Selby always checks in on me before he goes to work, to see how I'm doing. He's... (voice breaking) was sweet like that. Cho: Were you aware of any problems he was having? Work? Personal life? Mrs. Vickers: Um, no. Just the opposite. Uh, things were starting to get good for him. After he left high school, things didn't go right for him. Van Pelt: About high school— the prank he pulled— Mrs. Vickers: (normal voice) I don't want to talk about that. Van Pelt: Ma'am— Mrs. Vickers: His whole life was spoiled by that—that incident. He lost a chance at college. He—he got stuck working in a little print shop. And then Jana came along, and— And she was like a whole new world for him. She encouraged him, and she told him to—to strive for something better, And—and he became a whole new person. Van Pelt: We haven't been able to track down any family for Jana. Do you know where we can find them? Mrs. Vickers: She didn't have anybody— Uh, nobody that I know of. She moved here from Poland, and Selby only met her a couple of months ago. A few dates and... (laughs) and they got married. It was all kind of a whirlwind. Cho: Now, Mrs. Vickers, it's a bit unsettling, but I'd like you to listen to this message, see if you recognize the caller. Is that all right? Mrs. Vickers: Yeah. Answering machine: (beep) (man) I'm done playing games here. You hear me? Either you get me my money, or I'm gonna be forced to take action. (click, beep) Mrs. Vickers: Well, I-I've never heard that voice in my life. Was my son involved with a loan shark or something? Cho: Could be. We traced the phone call to a phone booth in Galatin. Mrs. Vickers: That doesn't really tell us— Galatin? Th-that's where Jana's from. Uh, s-Selby met her there at a coffee shop when he was on a delivery run. Van Pelt: Can you tell us anything about Jana before she met Selby? Maybe names of friends, where she worked? Mrs. Vickers: No, all that Selby told me was that things were tough for her. Yeah, he didn't share any details, probably 'cause he didn't want me making any judgments. High school Cordova: (laughs) You remember what we used to call you? You were the frogman. (man laughs) Frog—because you played the french horn... Yeah. Well, no— d 'cause, you know, Y-you kinda sorta look like a frog, but no offense, but... Phil: Yeah, no, I-I remember. Cordova: Oh, man, we used to get on you. You know what? I'm sorry about that, sincerely, but, I mean what? We were kids, right? We were just kids. Phil: Forget it, forget it. I have. Friend: (laughs) Dude, that—that time we put the dad bird in his locker. Cordova: Ohh, we did that. (laughs) Phil: Yeah, yeah, you guys got me with that one. Cordova: Does anybody still call you that—"the frogman"? Phil: Well, pretty much everyone calls me "Phil, " except my son who calls me "dad." Cordova: You fathered a kid? He fathered a— he— Go, frogman! Come on. Nice! Friend: Good job. Didn't think you had it in you. Cordova: Wait. Does he play the french horn, too? (stifles laughter) Because if he does, you could call him frogboy... or... Kermit. Friend: or kermie. (clicks tongue) Phil: Really good to, uh, see you guys again. Cordova: Come on. Hey, if the kid of yours ever needs any shaping up, you send him to a Cordova Sports Camp, okay? (laughter) Phil: Vodka tonic, please. Jane: Uh, top shelf. It's on me. Phil: Thank you. (sighs) Um... You're one of the, uh, one of the CBI people. Jane: Yeah. Phil: I heard about what happened to Selby. That's—that's awful. Jane: Hmm. Well, it doesn't appear to have dampened the mood here. L. J. Cordova seems to be having a great time. Phil: Yeah. Frogman. (sighs) If I could go back in time and bat the crap out of him the first time he called me that... Jane: It's not possible, Phil. Phil: Oh, I know. Jane: But you could just talk to him quietly and tell him how you feel. Phil: (scoffs) He'd probably just laugh at me. Jane: Probably. But at least you would know that you made an effort, right? And this is a—what? It's a 15-year school reunion. What are these reunions for, anyway? Phil: (laughs) I don't know. Jane: I understand. All those nights you lay there not being able to sleep, thinking about whether or not you should've confronted him. It's tough. Phil: You know what? (clicks tongue) You're right. Jane: You go, Phil. Phil: Hey, L. J. Cordova: What up, frog? (smack) What's your problem, man? (thud) (indistinct conversations) (thud) No, come on. Get off me! Come on. What are you— Jane: Phil. (grunting) (glass shatters) (man grunting) (punches landing) Man: Come here! Come here! Get off! (glass shatters) (thudding) (groans) CBI Jane: You know, this thing is a golden treasury of mullets. Lisbon: A brawl? You started a brawl? Come on. Jane: Well, I was, uh, I was going for something a little more contained, but I guess people just wanted to explore the physical. Lisbon: And what information did you glean? I assume you were testing some theory or other? Jane: Wow, Willa Brock was involved in eight different school activities, and she looked pretty good in cargo pants, which is hard to do. Lisbon: There are people in the hospital. Jane: Yes, but souls were healed. This was a cathartic brawl. It was—it was a therapeutic expression of— Lisbon: (to Cho) Please. Cho: Got a lead. Jana's I. N.S. entry records list a Galatin address as her destination— The property and residence of a Terence Badali. No real sheet, but he had a couple restraining orders from women back in the '90s. He could be our angry caller. Lisbon: Go to Galatin. Take Van Pelt with you. Cho: Okay. Lisbon: You—go to hell. Take a toothbrush. Jane: Which way is that? I'll go. (Patrick chuckles) Rigsby: What's so funny? Jane: "if I want culture, I'll leave my yogurt out overnight." L. J. Cordova's yearbook photo quote. Rigsby: Well, when you're done entertaining yourself, I got your Derek Logan update right here. Kid's life never turned the corner. Derek Michael Logan left Rancho Rosa a couple weeks after the Selby incident. Family moved to Virginia. He became a heroin addict. Couple years in and out of rehab. He died of an overdose on his 23rd birthday. School office has sent over his old student I. D. from their archives. Jane: Mm-hmm. You know he kind of looks like you. Rigsby: Mm. And, uh, this is the photo of the incident that, uh, Selby plastered around the school. How does any kid recover from that? Jane: Well, in this case, they don't. Mm. How sad. Mm. And I was betting on Derek Logan as our kller. Factory Terence: Will you quit yanking me around? Okay, if you can't get it right, we're through. Now the order was for 5/16th Beech Wood, not for 5/16th warped Beech Wood. Cho: Hey, Terence Badali? CBI. Need to talk to you about Jana Vickers. Terence: (phone) I'll call you back. What about her? Cho: You left a thrat message on her answering machine recently. Terence: Well, how do you know it was me? Van Pelt: Because an innocent person would say, "I didn't do it." Terence: So what? I called her. Big deal. Van Pelt: You called her and thrat her. Now she and her husband have been found klled, and so- (thud) (clattering) (grunts) (thud) Cho: You're under arrest. CBI Terence: I panicked. As soon as you told me they were dad, I knew you were gonna blame me, and my brain said, "just run." Cho: Your brain's a fool. Where were you last night? Terence: I was watching college ball. Cho: Can you prove that? Terence: Notre Dame sucked. I live alone... Since that polish bitch left me. Cho: She and you had a sexual relationship? Terence: Well, she was my fiancée. I met her through this internet service. Uh, y-you pay a whole bunch of money, but you get to choose from these videos, and then they bring her over to the country, and she marries you. Cho: That's a good deal. Terence: Oh, I tell you, man, these eastern European types— they know how to take care of their men. (laughs) Cho: Right. What happened? Terence: Well, she left me for this Vickers guy. She comes to me one day, says she met this guy at work, they fell in love... Cho: Must've made you angry. Terence: Yeah, you bet it did. Cho: So you thrat to kll them unless they pay you off. Terence: No, no, no. I thrat to turn her in to the I. N.S., because she had lied about all these things on her form. She was in this country under false pretenses. Cho: How much were you asking for? Terence: Well, I just wanted my money back— The money I put up to get her over here. I saved all my receipts. It was 25 grand. Well, and 5 grand for emotional suffering. Cho: And what was her response? Terence: She said they'd pay it. She admitted she owed me the money. Cho: They were broke. Any idea where they were gonna get the money? Terence: Jana said that Selby was gonna get it from an old friend. Van Pelt: They guaranteed Badali they'd have it for him Monday, in cash. Lisbon: At least we know Selby's sudden interest in the reunion. Van Pelt: He was protecting his wife. It's kind of romantic. Noble, even. Lisbon: Ugh. Motive, even. He must have asked somebody for money who really didn't like him asking. Rigsby: Yeah, nice work, Grace. Lisbon: I need to see that list of all the reunion attendees' arrival times. Rigsby: Oh, yeah. Here you go. Lisbon: Thanks. Rigsby: So, uh, you and Cho saw some action, huh? Van Pelt: Little bit, yeah. Rigsby: That's cool. Lisbon: You have Gabe Nyland arriving by plane the day before the mrder. Are you sure that's right? Rigsby: Yeah, there's an airfield in Stratton, the next town over. I checked the arrival logs. He flew in by private jet. Lisbon: Be careful who you vote for Lieutenant Governor. One of the candidates lies. Hotel (knock on door) Gabe: Yes? Lisbon: It's Agent Lisbon and Patrick Jane. We just have a few follow-up questions for you. Gabe: Hi. How can I help? Lisbon: Last night at the reception, you said you'd just gotten in, but we know you flew in the day before the mrder. Can you explain the discrepancy for us? Gabe: Come on in. I came a day early for a private fund-raising dinner. I said I'd just arrived, because I didn't want my classmates thinking I'm up here shilling during reunion weekend. Jane: This is a nice room. Is it the, uh, presidential suite? Gabe: Something like that. Jane: Is the bedroom nice? How's the mattress? Gabe: Uh, it's adequate. Jane: Can I see it? Gabe: Well, no. Why would you want to? Jane: Why not? Gabe: Because I'm entitled to my privacy. Girl: Hello again. Gabe: There was no inappropriate relationship. Lisbon: You call it an inappropriate relationship. The law calls it soliciting sex from a minor. Gabe: She came to my door, had an idea she wanted to discuss about a youth voter effort for my campaign. I'm not going to discourage some enthusiastic kid who wants to get involved. Lisbon: No, no. You hide 'em in your bedroom. Gabe: I had to. Media people follow me everywhere I go now. If I open that door and it's some guerrilla photographer, our faces end up on the internet, both of our lives are ruined. Jane: You're very good at this— selling a case with passion, even though it holds no water. Explains why you're such a successful D.A. Gabe: It's the truth. Jane: Well, that should be easy to confirm. Lisbon, could you have the social worker bring, uh, Tess in, please? Gabe: No, please. This is on me. She didn't ask for any of this. Jane: You care about her. You genuinely care about her. Well, she's very friendly... and diplomatic. Diplomatic... and evasive, like a politician... like her father. That, and you have the same shape front teeth. They are your real teeth, aren't they? Lisbon: She's your daughter? Gabe: Her mother was a year behind me. Tess was born a few weeks before I graduated. Families agreed to keep it quiet. But I've always done right by Tess. Come out to see her whenever I can. Discreetly, of course. Lisbon: Did you ever see Selby when you visited? Gabe: Last year, at a gas station just outside of town. We said a quick hello, went our separate ways. Lisbon: Maybe Selby found out about Tess, thrat to expose you. Gabe: Not Selby Vickers. He wouldn't thrat a fly. A super nice guy. He tried to do right by people. Jane: What'd you talk about with Selby at the gas station? Gabe: Small talk. I told him I was gonna run for Lieutenant Governor, and he offered to print the campaign flyers, free of charge. Jane: Was he the same way in high school? Gabe: Always—help you with your homework, he'd share his lunch with you, he was just happy knowing that you liked him. Even that thing with Logan, he just did it to be popular. I've answered all your questions. I think you should go now. Lisbon: Jane. Jane: What? Lisbon: Come on. Oh. Sorry. Very nice to meet you. Your politics are a roiling mess of greed and cynicism, but you have a lovely daughter. High school (indistinct conversations) L. J.: Aw, him again. Willa: Oh. (sighs) I'll take care of it. Mm. (footsteps approach) Willa: Mr. Jane, hello. Jane: Willa, right? Regional TV personality. Willa: Yes. (laughs) Jane: Yeah. (laughs) Willa: Um, anything I can help you with? Jane: Oh, I'm just here for the big game. Football—I love it! Willa: How goes the investigation? Jane: Oh, my colleagues are pursuing several leads, uh... nothing definitive yet. Willa: Mr. Jane, this is a weekend of celebration. Your presence is making a few people uncomfortable. Jane: Should I go away? Should I leave Selby and Jana unavenged because of some low comfort levels? Is that what you're saying? Willa: No, no. Jane: What are you saying then? (laughs) Willa: I— Never mind. (laughs) Okay. Jane: Willa, I do have a question. Willa: Yes? Jane: How are the burgers? Willa: The burg— (laughs) The burgers are good. Very good. (indistinct conversations) Jane: Vice principal Desouza, do you mind if I join you? (clicks tongue) Desouza: Wow, look at you. All grown-up. Sit down. Tell me what you've been up to these days. Jane: Nice cover. I didn't actually attend this high school. In fact, I didn't attend any high school. I'm with the CBI. Desouza: Oh, please, please. These reunions are insufferable. What I wouldn't give to be home on my couch, glass of wine, good book. Jane: Well, I take it you heard about Selby Vickers and his wife. Desouza: Oh, yes. That's—that's a tragedy. Selby was a truly good kid, you know, until that one incident with Derek Logan. Gymnasium Desouza: Derek Logan was definitely a different kind of duck. He wore the same tattered Jacket, be it hot or cold, always hugged the wall as he walked down a hallway. He was off. Jane: "off" isn't tolerated in high school. Desouza: Well, certainly not in the 30 years I've been doing this job. Locker room Desouza: Right over there is where it all happened. Jane: hmm. Desouza: Derek's folks sent him to a shrink afterwards... (sighs) but it didn't help. A month later, they pulled him out of school. That was the last I heard of him. Jane: Hmm. Did Selby ever give a reason why he did it? Desouza: You know, I asked him, but he just shrugged. You know, gave me that teenage "I don't know." (sighs) Jane: How'd you catch him? Derek was blindfolded, right? Desouza: Yes. He heard his attacker's voice, though. He thought it sounded like Selby. I confronted Selby. He confessed quite readily, like the helpful, honest boy he usually was. It's very strange. Jane: Hmm. CBI Rigsby: You want me to memorize everything we have on all 67 alumni that showed up at the reunion? Jane: Yes, I do. Rigsby: And how would I do that? Jane: It's easy. You build a memory palace. Rigsby: Um, I thought that was just some card player's trick. Jane: Well, it's multipurpose. It's perfect for recalling a large body of information. All you need is a physical location that you know well, and you break it down in your mind into smaller pieces and link each one to a package of the information, like this. I walk in the door, and I'm greeted by reunion chair Willa Brock— former class president, debate team captain, led the team to three county championships, now a talk show host in Chicago. I sit down at the table and catch up with Dana Greer—swimmer, now a realtor in Los Angeles, married to a gentleman by the name of Arthur. And so on and so forth. Rigsby: Okay. Jane: When you want to remember the details, you close your eyes, and in your mind, you walk around your very own memory palace. Rigsby: (laughs) Yeah, yeah, but I-I can't learn all stuff in just a couple hours. Jane: It comes very quickly once you get the hang of it, and they'll be wearing nametags. Rigsby: But why? I mean, why would I memorize all these— Jane: It's fun. Rigsby: This is some dubious scheme that Lisbon doesn't know about, isn't it? Yeah, you can count me out. Jane: Sorry, you gotta do it. Rigsby: Uh, no, I don't. Jane: (exhales deeply) If you, uh, don't cooperate, I'm gonna be forced to tell Lisbon about you and Van Pelt. Rigsby: Tell what? There's nothing to tell. Jane: Really? Rigsby: Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. Jane: Ah. Contrary to very strict CBI rules and regulations, you and Grace Van Pelt are engaged in an illicit affair. Rigsby: Nope. Jane: You're being childish. Rigsby: Don't tell Lisbon. She'll report us to H. R. Jane: Well, she's a stickler. Rigsby: They'll throw one of off the unit. Jane: Better get to work. High school (Los Del Rio's "Macarena" playing) ♪ hey, macarena, ay! ♪ ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegria macarena ♪ ♪ que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena ♪ ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegria macarena ♪ ♪ hey, macarena, ay! ♪ ♪ macarena tiene un novio que se llama ♪ ♪ que se llama de apellido vitorino ♪ ♪ que en la jura de bandera el muchacho ♪ ♪ es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena ♪ ♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegria macarena ♪ ♪ hey, macarena, ay! ♪ Jane: School would be so much more fun if they started the day with this every morning instead of the, uh, pledge of allegiance. Or maybe they could, uh, just integrate the two into the "dance of allegiance." Lisbon: We're taking a real flier here. Jane: This better work. Jane: Timpani. Lisbon: No. Jane: Huh. Really got me stumped on that one. I'm just guessing now. Lisbon: Look, we'd better get this thing going before people start leaving. Jane: Patience. The fun will commence shortly. (Ini Kamoze's "Hotstepper" playing) ♪ na, na-na-na, na ♪ ♪ na-na-na, na ♪ Rigsby: Hey, how's it going? (clicks tongue) Nice to see you. Long time. (chuckling) Hey. Woman: Hey. Rigsby: (under breath) Okay. Coffee machine. (normal voice) Stu McPine? How goes it with my favorite photo club president? (laughing) Stu: It goes great. How goes it with you? Rigsby: It goes whatever's better than great. Stu: You know, I-I forgot your name. Rigsby: Well, it's, uh... Derek Logan. Yeah. And it's great to be back. ♪ Hi. How are ya? Hi. Nice to see you. See you. Oh, yeah. Jane: This is gonna be good. I promise. Rigsby: Great to see you, too, man. Willa: Derek Logan. I-I can't believe it. Gabe: Yeah, you've changed. Rigsby: Well, who would've thought that the girl who brought four schools to their knees in the high school county debate finals would be lost for words, huh? Willa: (laughing) You—you just look so different. Rigsby: Let's just chalk it up to 15 years' worth of solid hours at the health club, plus maybe a little bit of work. You gotta look good in my business, huh? You know what I mean? L. J.: Had to see it to believe it. Derek Logan! (grunts) Rigsby: Hey. L. J., hey! (quietly) Refrigerator. L. J.: What? Rigsby: (normal voice) Rancho Rosa versus Stratton— The ball is on our 10,2 seconds on the clock, Sims hands it off, bam! You run 90 yards, touchdown, Toros win. L. J.: (laughing) Oh, you're— you're half right. That was against Deerfield. And it was a pass, not a handoff, but it was close. Man! That's Derek freakin' Logan! Whoo! (chuckles) (laughing) Rigsby: I'm gonna, uh, make the rounds to say some hellos, but it is great to see you guys. Wow! (indistinct conversations) Jane: Wow, you're a natural. Rigsby: (under breath) I can't do this. Jane: You're doing it. You ready for phase two? Rigsby: (sighs) I can't. Jane: Think of it this way— you mess up, we blow the case, and I tell Lisbon. Rigsby: (sighs) Oh, you're a cold bastard, you know that? Willa: Good evening, fellow Toros! (cheers and applause) (laughing) Now is the part of the evening you've all been waiting for— the achievement awards! (cheers and applause) As voted by you— the 15th reunion class of Rancho Rosa high! (cheers and applause) Jane: Break a leg. Rigsby: (clears throat) Yeah. Willa: Our first award— The "I can't believe they're still together" award, which goes to— Rigsby: Dave Mercer and Angie Diaz Mercer. No surprises there, am I right, gng? (chuckles) Willa: What are you doing? Rigsby: I'm-a let you finish, Willa. I, uh, just want to say a few quick words. Willa: Okay. Just make it fast, okay? Rigsby: Sure. Willa: Uh, slight change of schedule. We'll get right back to the awards, but first, Derek Logan! (scattered applause) Man: Yo, D. L. Rigsby: (chuckles) Yeah. I'm, uh, sure most of you are scratching your heads, wondering why, uh, why I'm here. I came here tonight because, uh... I wanted to see how it felt like to be here again. I'm not the same person I was 15 years ago, so when I walked in that front door tonight, It felt good. (scattered applause) Thank you. But as soon as I set my eyes on you people, I remember how it felt the last time I walked out that door, and I was that sad, defeated kid again. Sure, go ahead. Feel sorry for me. But you should also feel sorry for Selby, may he, uh, rest in peace. About a month ago, Selby called me. He'd been, uh, trying to track me down for months, he said. He wanted to apologize and, uh, to tell the truth about what really happened that day— (retching) The truth that never came out. You see, Selby was a follower, not a leader, and he did what he did because somebody else was there that day. (crowd murmuring) Somebody told him to do what he did to me. Yeah, that's right. Phil: Hey, Gina, what's up? He'll be fine. Just, um, uh... give him an aspirin. Rigsby: and I now know who it was. And that is the real reason I am here. I am here to make you pay. (murmuring grows louder) you—you ruined my life, uh, that day. And I've spent 15 years struggling to get it back. (chuckling) and now, now I have. Oh, yeah. And I will have my revenge. Payback is—is—is a bitch, like, uh, in that movie with, um, uh... Uh, Mel—Mel Gibson where they— where they kidnap his child. Um, you know. Uh, or is it the other one? Uh, anyhow, um, that's me. Enjoy the rest of your evening. Go, Toros. (crowd continues murmuring) (scattered applause) Willa's room (door opens) Willa: What ar— what do you think you're doing? Jane: Oh, the maid lent us this. You still should tip her. Lisbon: Must've been hard walking out in the middle of a big event you planned. Willa: (chuckles) The speech was boring, and I have to get back to Chicago. I have two shows to prepare for on Monday. Jane: I have a great idea for your show. Uh, "humiliating pranks and the people who initate them." You could be your own guest. Willa: (laughing) You— you have no basis for that. I just—I didn't want to have to hear Derek go on and on about- Lisbon: Your talk show goes national soon. Willa: So? Lisbon: If Selby had gone to the media with the story of how you brutalized a helpless boy, your big chance would be history. So you arranged a meeting with Selby to get the money. Jana showed up with him, which you weren't expecting, so you klled them both. Willa: Okay, I-I didn't have to pay him or kll him. Uh, Selby didn't have a stitch of proof putting me in that locker room. The media would've ignored him as a crackpot. Jane: "I have immortal longings in me." Do you remember that quote? Willa: Uh, uh, it's Shakespeare. I-I think it was the quote in my yearbook photo. Jane: And an apt one. High school was a wonderful time for you, wasn't it? Willa: Yeah, you could say that. Jane: Star student, class president, champion debater— You were at the top of the social hierarchy. Willa Brock was the queen of the school. Your world was perfect. Willa: Yes. Jane: Yeah. But then something happened and unsettled that perfect world. Derek Logan irked you, somehow. And you just couldn't let it pass without a response, so you turned on the charm, you manipulated Selby to do your bidding, knowing that he'd be thrilled to help the popular girl— The girl he was always a little in love with. And then you destroyed Derek Logan, to the delight of your peers. And you enjoyed it, 'cause you found it all so easy and so empowering and exciting, right? All your success at Rancho Rosa high— This... was Willa Brock's crowning achievement. (whistles) You've aged well. It looks like Selby took more than one photo that day in the locker room, didn't he? Have a look at that. Check that out. (camera shutter clicking) This is Selby's proof, but you didn't want to pay him all that money and risk him blackmailing you again, so you klled him and his wife Jana. Kinda poetic, how you were done in by your own vanity. Willa: Derek Logan told everyone I let him touch me— Like I ever would. I was deeply humiliated. Lisbon: So you ruined his life. And Selby and Jana Vickers had to die, too. Willa: Selby falls for that little polish girl and suddenly grows a spine? (sighs deeply) Things would have been perfect if he just stayed lonely and pathetic. Lisbon: Close call. If she'd have destroyed the negative that Selby had given her, we'd have no evidence and no case. Jane: It was a trophy. It was a reminder that the great Willa Brock can crush anyone that dares stand in her way, just like 15 years ago. Lisbon: Yes, yes. Nobody advances an inch from high school. You proved your point. Jane: Their instincts never change. High school ♪ Phil: Selby and Derek would both be grateful. You two have an open invitation if you want to join us at the 20th. (Patrick chuckles) Lisbon: Hopefully, we won't need to. Jane: Keep it in the dojo, Phil. Lisbon: One thing I don't get— How did you persuade Rigsby to play this charade? Jane: I told him that you promised to give him Monday off. Lisbon: Not happening. Jane: Well, that puts me in an awkward position. I-I-I-I held up my end of the bargain. (Extreme's "More Than Words" playing) Lisbon: Oh, God. I used to love this song. Jane: Loved the song. Lisbon: I used to love this song. (chuckles) Jane: You love this song. Yeah. Obviously, you want to dance. Lisbon: With you? No. Jane: Oh, come on. You can pretend that I'm that mean, cold-hearted guy that you used to worship from afar, but never talked to. ♪ how easy it would be ♪ Lisbon: Hmm. No funny stuff. ♪ more than words ♪ ♪ is all you have to do ♪ ♪ to make it real ♪ ♪ then you wouldn't have to say ♪ Jane: Trumpet? ♪ that you love me ♪ Lisbon: No. ♪ 'cause I'd already know ♪	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x11 - Rose-Colored Glasses"}	foreverdreaming
CBI A TV investigative reporter is chronicling the exploits of CBI. Lisbon: The red light's on That means we're ready, yeah? Reporter: Yes. Would you tell us why and how a psychic becomes a CBI agent? Jane: I'm not a psychic. No such things as psychics. Lisbon: And he's not a CBI agent. He's a consultant. Big difference. Reporter: "no such thing as psychics." uh, care to elaborate? Jane: Uh, no, not particularly. Um, you know what? This—this is not— This is not a good idea, I don't think. Um, it's not a good idea. Reporter: (clears throat) Okay. Um, maybe we'll— we'll come back to that later. Uh, how do your cases usually start? Lisbon: Uh, a case begins with us getting a phone call from the A. G.'s office to lead an investigation. In the St. Clare homicide, the local D.A. wanted us on it because there were political issues involved. Reporter: And how did the local cops feel bout your— your team coming in? Lisbon: We get along extremely well with our local partners in law enforcement, yeah. Crime scene Sheriff: My people can handle this, no problem. California Bureau of Interference is what you are. Jane: Interference? That's witty. Lisbon: Stay out of this. I'm sure your people are competent, Chief Donner. We're simply following the A. G.'s orders. Sheriff: Screw the A. G.. This case is going to be in the news, and you people are spotlight hogs. That's all. Lisbon: I assure you, chief— Jane: Don't waste your time. His anger runs deeper than you can reach. Lisbon: Seriously, don't start trouble here. It's the last thing we need. Cho: The victim is Martha St. Clare, 34— Media relations coordinator for the mayor of this town Mayor was here to break ground on a new development, dug up her P. R. flack instead. Lisbon: Ouch. Cho: Yeah, victim was sab twice in the chest, but there's no blood here. Lisbon: klled elsewhere. Jane: Home. Her nails are done. Her hair's done. This woman doesn't wear sweatpants anywhere but at home. Lisbon: Cho, have Van Pelt check it out. Jane: The kller wanted the body to be discovered here under the glare of the cameras. Lisbon: And likely came here to watch the fuss. Jane: Likely. Lisbon: Maybe the camera crews caught something. We'll need to have them look into it. (Jane is sniffing) There's bruises on her arms. Looks like something was ripped off her neck during the struggle. Sheriff: Is he sniffing her? Lisbon: Yes. Sheriff: You pay him to sniff people? Lisbon: Apparently. Jane: She's been smoking. The nicotine patch on her arm says she was trying to quit. So under stress of late. Sheriff: Well, case closed. Stress got a Knfe and sab her to death. Jane: He's on a roll. You're on a roll. (sniffs) Cheap soap. Unironed shirt. Stomach pains. Recent loss of weight. I'm gonna take a wild guess here. You're angry and unhappy 'cause you're living in a motel about the woman you're having an affair with that you don't even care for You're a seething mass of self-loathing, and understandably so. Sheriff: You son of a bitch! Lisbon: Chief Donner, my apologies. He was completely out of line. Let—let's just get back to the body. Sir? ♫ The Mentalist 2x12 ♫ Bleeding Heart CBI (the sht continues) Lisbon: We've closed more cases than any other unit in the CBI, but we don't keep score that way. It's not a contest. Reporter: And you—you also lead in the number of complaints and lawsuits filed. Lisbon: Okay, hold it. I thought we had an agreement. Brenda, a word. (lowers voice) Lisbon: Jane's right. This isn't a good idea. I thought this was supposed to be positive coverage. Brenda: It is! It will be. If we're open and honest about the issues, the positivity follows. That's P. R. 101. Lisbon: We're trying to solve a woman's mrder here, Brenda. We don't have time to waste on P. R. Brenda: Teresa, you know that we have been crucified by the media ever since Bosco and his team were klled here in our own house. When KTQZ asked me for access yesterday, I jumped at it, and the deputy A. G. concurred. Lisbon: Who is this guy anyway? Brenda: Totally legit TV investigative reporter. Mike Brewster. He has been covering the central valley for years. We need this, Teresa. Please. Work with us. Lisbon: He stays out of my way. He can film in the office and in the bullpen, but not out in the field. Brenda: Thank you. Reporter: Seriously, thank you. You won't be sorry. And it's a two-way street, Agent Lisbon. If there's anything I can do for you... Lisbon: There is one thing. video footage of the groundbreaking Reporter: Okay, so this is the footage Steve and I grabbed of the groundbreaking. That's the Mayor— Melba Walker Shannon. She plays up the folksy image, but she can be tough as nails if she needs to be. Jane: Nice shoes. Chip? Cho: No, thanks. Who's the rich guy next to the mayor? Reporter: Oh, that's Heaton Krupp. He's the private developer On the project— off the record, a prize jerk. Lisbon: Who are those people? Reporter: Tree huggers. The project's going up on the edge of some reclaimed land. Lisbon: You mean protected wildlands. Reporter: You say "potato." Lisbon: You have any other footage of the crowds? Reporter: Not really. Other networks might, but gaining access can be tricky. Lisbon: It'd be good to get a different perspective. Cho, see if you can get the footage. Cho: You got it. Reporter: All right, that's Wilson Fonteneau, The mayor's flunky, and here comes the money sht. Jane: Whew. Van Pelt gives Lisbon stuff from St. Claire's house. Van Pelt: These are from the victim's home. Besides the signs of a scuffle, the only thing that seemed to be missing was the victim's laptop. The mrder probably took it. Lisbon: Check out this necklace. Van Pelt: From the photos, it looks like she wore it a lot. You think it could have made the mark on her neck? Lisbon: Could be. When you go to the apartment, do a targeted search. Jane: The necklace is long gone. My guess—the kller made a souvenir of it. Lisbon: Go. Van Pelt: Okay. Jane: Where we going? Lisbon: Mayor's office. Back on camera Lisbon: I don't have any problem being in charge, no. I mean, maybe at first for a while, as a woman, it was a challenge, but the demands of the job take over. Yeah. Reporter: Tell me about your weekends. Lisbon: You want to know what I do on my weekends? Reporter: Yeah. Lisbon: Why do you want to know that? I mean, I have no problem having a life, if that's what you mean. I don't know why anybody would say otherwise— If they do say otherwise. Um, I'm sorry. What were we talking about? Town hall Assistant: Sorry for the delay. The mayor's just finishing up another meeting. It's been a crazy day around here. Can I help you? Jane: Oh, no, I'm fine. Thanks. Lisbon: Mr. Fonteneau, did you work closely with Martha St. Clare? Assistant: For 16 months. Martha hired me, actually. Lisbon: We noticed in a lot of recent photographs that she had a-a necklace on with a beautiful stone. Assistant: Yes, a topaz, I think. It was her birthstone. She got it Christmas of last year and never took it off. Lisbon: Do you know who gave it to her? Assistant: No. Jane: She had a lot of meetings, even on weekends— Business interests, community groups, book club. Tomorrow is a big day. She has a star and 3 exclamation marks at 11:00. Assistant: Yes. Uh, she scheduled a briefing with the city council. Lisbon: On what subject? Assistant: I don't know, to be honest. The mayor will know. Jane: Was she dating anyone? Assistant: A social life—Martha? No, she had a cat. Jane: Ah. Yes. See? Assistant: But it died. Jane: Right. Mayor: Excuse me. Are you the CBI Agents? Lisbon: Mayor, thank you for seeing us. Mayor: Happy to help, and please call me Melba. Jane: Like the toast? Mayor: Just like. This way. Mayor's office Lisbon: Can you tell us about your construction project that you were opening yesterday? Mayor: It's the Granton Complex, yes. We are very proud of it. It's office and retail space plus housing, all built with the latest green technology. Lisbon: And what was Martha's involvement in the project? Mayor: None, really. She... She was my media liaison. She was not engaged in policy issues. Lisbon: Then what was she gonna talk about at city council tomorrow? Mayor: Oh, a press junket. It was river rafting, I believe. Lisbon: Chief Donner says your office has received several thrat from environmental activists. Mayor: Activists? No, they're trrorists. They brned down vacation condos up on the mountain. They destroyed luxury car lots just one town over. They're led by a madman, and he calls himself Jasper. Excuse me. Fountenot comes in with a note Mayor: Wilson, anything else can wait. Lisbon: The thrat? Mayor: Yes. Um... She shows the video thrat from the environmentalists (voice distorted): The Granton development is an abomination A hundred acres of pristine wildlands razed, an entire ecosystem endangered. It must stop. It will stop, no matter what needs to be done. My name is Jasper, and I am legion. (chuckling) Jane: Come on. "I am legion." that's just silly. Mayor: Silly? Jane: Yeah. Mayor: He mrder Martha. Jane: Well, you assume. Mayor: Yes, I do. The body was buried at the site, for God's sake. And that is a clear message, isn't it? Jane: Melba, why would he kll Martha... and not kll you? It'd be a bigger publicity coup. Mayor: Excuse me? Lisbon: Uh... What Mr. Jane is trying to ask is whether there was somebody with a more direct personal grudge against Martha. Jane: Mm... Lisbon: Yeah. Jane: No. Mayor: She was a lovely— was a lovely person. Jane: Oh, then why did you dislike her so much? Mayor: I didn't dislike Martha. Why would I employ someone that I don't like? Jane: That's a very good question. When you said it, your jaw tensed and your eyes went empty like a cobra. Mayor: Wilson! Jane: I'm not saying you klled her. I'm just saying that you're relieved that she's dad. Mayor: These people will be leaving now. Jane: Oh, I like the way you say that, Melba-like-the-toast— So tough and commanding. Let me tell you something. We are state law enforcement, and we leave when we want to leave. Lisbon: Thank you for your time. Jane: She wants to leave. See yah. Jane: You blew my cool. Lisbon: I swear, sometimes I think you need medication. It's like you've got A. D.D. or something. Jane: Well, "A, " I'm not so sure that A. D.D. even exists, and "B, " I was winding her up for a reason. Lisbon: Which is? Jane: A diversion. The message the aide brought in made her nervous, so I took it. Lisbon: You're stealing now? Jane: Well, let's just call it purloining. Lisbon: What does it say? Brewster is asking Jane, lying on a couch It says "your 3:00 meeting has now been moved to 3:15." I'm just kidding. It says, "9-1-1. Call now. Urgent. About Martha." From Heaton Krupp. Lisbon: The developer of the Granton project. Jane: Oh, yeah. CBI Brewster is asking Jane, lying on a couch. Reporter: Do you enjoy police work? Jane: Mm... Reporter: Patrick? Jane: Uh, yeah, I'm thinking. Uh, mm, yes and no. Uh, yeah, sometimes. Sometimes not. Reporter: Forget it, Steve. Why do you so dislike being filmed? Jane: 'cause you're stealing my soul. Cho and Rigsby go to the contractor Krupp: So I called the mayor. So what? I'm building a $20 million complex in her town. I call her a lot. Rigsby: About Ms. St. Clare? Krupp: About when I can start construction again. This is costing me hundreds of thousands of dollars. Cho: It cost Ms. St. Clare a lot more. Krupp: And I'm sorry about that. I am. But there's nothing I can do about it. Martha would have wanted us to go on. Cho: You knew her well enough to know that? Krupp: You're right. I'm being pious. Maybe Martha would have said, "screw it." I knew her not at all outside of business. Rigsby: Really? 'cause we just got her cell phone records, and you called her ten times yesterday. You want to tell us what you wanted to talk about so urgently? Krupp: Seems I should get my lawyer, have him sit in with us. Rigsby: Sure. That's your right. Cho: Tell him to bring all your permits for the Granton project. Krupp: My permits? Why? Cho: Why not? Rigsby: And we should make sure this stays an active crime scene— Keep everyone out until the case is solved. Cho: Could take weeks. Krupp: See... we were talking about money, okay? $10 million in public funds was to be released When we broke ground. Then I heard rumors that St. Clare was planning to tell the city council to withhold them. Rigsby: Why? Krupp: I don't know! I mean, that's what I was trying to find out. Cho: But St. Clare was klled before she could talk to the city council. Krupp: Yes, but— Rigsby: So the $10 million will come to you after all. Krupp: What are you—are you trying to lay this on me? Because you're messing with the wrong guy, officer! Cho: We're not officers. We're Agents. That's quite a temper you got there. (glass shatters) someone throws a Molotov cocktail in the window of the trailer Rigsby: Look out! (grunts) Cho: get down, get down! Rigsby: Get on the floor! Help! (shouting indistinctly) Cho: I got the door! Go, go, go, go! I got the door! (grunting) Aah! I got you. (glass shatters) (coughs) (all coughing and wheezing) Cho: This was done by someone who knew what he or she was doing. Krupp: (coughing) crackpot Jasper. He's a trror1st, and you ain't doing Jack to catch him, chief. Chief of police: I'm in charge of the town of Salter, Mr. Krupp, not the outlying areas. (indistinct police radio chatter) Jasper's never launched an attck here in town before. Cho: Until now. Rigsby: Hey! Check this out. Apparently, this is the same tag that Jasper used in the attck on the condos. CBI At the office Rigsby is interviewed by Brewster. Rigsby: It's good just here? Reporter: That's great. Rigsby: Uh, I've been in fires before. I worked with the, uh, arson squad in San Diego for a couple years, so I'm not unfamiliar with the issues. It's never pleasant, though. (chuckles) Um, I mean, when you're— When you're in it, it's— there's no time to think. But—but afterwards, well... Yeah. It can make you think. There was a... There was a moment there where, uh... Yeah, makes you think. It's a gift, isn't it? Life. You should be grateful for it... Make the most of it. Van Pelt: We have to catch this guy before he kills someone else. Jane: He hasn't klled anyone yet. Van Pelt: Not Martha St. Clare? Jane: Eh. Cho: Martha St. Clare was about to stall the development. That exactly what Jasper wants. So why kll her? Lisbon: Maybe he didn't know Martha's intentions. Jane: But the mayor must have known. Let's go see her. Lisbon: Yeah. You guys look into this Jasper character. Jane: Don't bother. Van Pelt: What does that mean, anyway— a red herring? Lisbon: A red herring is what you look in to regardless of what Jane tells you. Anything on the networks' footage? Cho: They've been throwing up hurdles— Something about first amendment issues. Lisbon: Get the footage. I'm tired of hearing their excuses. We I. D. Somebody in the crowd, maybe we get lucky. Cho: Yes, boss. Cho is interviewed by Brewster Cho: Why am I a detective? Why are you a reporter? Reporter: What? Cho: Why are you making this documentary? Reporter: It's a fresh perspective on law enforcement. Cho: No, I mean, what's in it for you? Reporter: Well, uh, scoring this exclusive is a good way to get noticed. Cho: So you're ambitious. How long you been doing the news here? Reporter: About eight years. Cho: Anchor? Reporter: Mostly fieldwork. Cho: So you're ambitious, but you haven't gotten very far. Reporter: I, uh, I guess that's about it, yeah. You don't like being asked questions, do you? The team as a whole seems to have a problem with that. Cho: Is that a question? Brenda: Mike, if I can interrupt here? Reporter: Yeah. Cameraman: We're clear. Brenda: Uh, there's coffee in the kitchen, John. I'm so sorry. Agent Cho? Cho: Yeah? Brenda: It is the specific request of the deputy A. G. that your unit cooperate fully with the media. Cho: What's your point? (coughs) (Rigsby clears throat) Ohh. (Rigsby coughs) Town hall Lisbon: Mayor Shannon, we need to talk. Mayor: Of course. I have a meeting. Please make it fast. Jane: Sure. How big was your bribe from Heaton Krupp? Mayor: That is an outrageous slander. Jane: You sold your approval of the Granton project. Martha found out. She was gonna reveal it at the city council meeting, which you said was gonna be about river rafting, of all things. River rafting— from where did you pull that? Mayor: You better have really good personal lawyers. If you pursue this absurd line of harassment, I will hang you by your heels. Jane: Did you get a slice, too, or are you strictly wage labor? Assistant: I— Mayor: your superiors will hear from our lawyers. Jane: Oh, don't bother with lawyers. It's such a waste of taxpayer dollars. Just confess. You'll feel a lot better. Assistant: In actuality, you have no proof of this so-called bribery. Jane: Uh, none at all. Mayor: Are all CBI Agents this incompetent? Have you even bothered to check her lover as a suspect? Jane: First you say it was Jasper. Now it's the lover that did it. You gonna make up your mind? Lisbon: What lover? We understood she had no social life. Assistant: I didn't know she did. Mayor: Oh, well, she did, and competent police would have known that. Lisbon: Why didn't you tell this earlier? Mayor: Why don't I just do your job for you? How would that be? Jane: Oh, just please arrest her or something. Lisbon: Nothing to hold her on. CBI Van Pelt is interviewed. VanPelt: I'm the rookie on the team. (chuckles) Been here... 18 months now. Um, it's hard work, but this has been my dream ever since I was a kid— to be a Detective. Reporter: And what's been the most surprising thing you've learned about this job you do? VanPelt: I've... learned a lot about myself... As well as about other people— stuff I wish I didn't know sometimes. Reporter: Stuff like... VanPelt: Why people do bad things to one another. It's mainly because of secrets. Trying to hide the truth chips away at your spirit. Secrets ruin relationships. The gng watches all of the footage of the groundbreaking. VanPelt: We finally got the footage from every news station covering the groundbreaking ceremony. Apparently, thrat work. These are two separate vantage points of the mayor, and these are feeds of the crowd. There—that guy (clicking) Lisbon: Can you narrow it down for us? There's, like, 50 guys there. VanPelt: The guy in the crowd there— After the mayor digs up the victim. Jane: He certainly doesn't look like he fits in. Oh, that's bold. Lisbon: A Jasper acolyte. VanPelt: Or the man himself. Lisbon: Get with the local P. D. See if they can identify him. What is it? Jane: Nothing. Just hungry. Rigsby: So we went back to St. Clare's apartment, went through her closet and realized that some of her work shirts- Jane: button on the right. Rigsby: Yeah, and not her size. Lisbon: So the mayor was right. She did have a lover. Jane: Of course she had a lover. That necklace she always wore was obviously a romantic gift. She'd never spend that kind of money on herself. Lisbon: Now you say so Very wise in hindsight. Jane: Well, I thought it went without saying. It's horribly obvious when people are in a relationship— Impossible to hide, try though they might. She was a very attractive woman. I would not be surprised if she had two lovers. There is nothing here. I'm gonna go out for lunch. Turn that thing off, or I will shove it down your throat. Lisbon: Let's take a walk, shall we? Come on. Lisbon pulls Jane aside. Lisbon: I know it hasn't been the most pleasant experience having a camera crew here. But you gotta cooperate— deputy A. G.'s orders. Jane: Yeah. Lisbon: So what's the deal? I would think out of everybody, you'd be the most comfortable with the cameras. Jane: Mm. Last time I was in front of a camera, things, uh didn't turn out so well. Lisbon: Oh, God, Jane, I'm sorry. Jane: You don't need to be sorry, and you're right. There's no reason not to be civil. I'm going to apologize. Jane goes back and apologizes to Brewster and his camera guy. Reporter: Hey, I'm sorry We didn't mean to be intrusive. Jane: No, I-I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm sorry. I just—I don't like feeling spied on. It's my own little neurosis. You're just doing your job, right? Reporter: Right. Jane: Well, let me buy you a taco. Reporter: Sure. Jane: I know you're in. Cameraman: I am kind of hungry. Jane: That's the spirit. I know the perfect place. Vámonos Street Jane: Muchas gracias. Mike. Reporter: Thank you. Jane: Steve. So tell me about news gathering. Steve: You get an assignment, and pretty much— (crowd gasping and murmuring) Reporter: Did you get that? Did you get it? (sighs) Jane is led through the woods with a blindfold. Man: Keep moving. Let's go. Jane: I don't know where we're going, but I hope there's a bathroom. I am busting. Ohh. CBI Van Pelt: Definitely Jasper. The description of the van matches one seen near the condo fre and the luxury car lot Jasper destroyed. Lisbon: How long has Chief Donner had this information? Contact the local and the county P. D. Van Pelt: On it. Cho: We got a ht on the Jasper associate at the groundbreaking ceremony. Local activists draw the line at kidnapping. They gave this guy up fast. Lisbon: Bart Henrik. On his blog, he calls himself a green warrior. He's been arrested several times for inciting a riot, public disorder and vandalism. Go find him. Take Rigsby. Cho: You got it. The cabin (crickets chirping) (clicks) Jane is led into an old cabin in the woods and handcuffed to a chair. Jane: I can see you mean business. Uh, there's no need for firearms. I'm not Harry Houdini. Man: Quiet. Jane: Thank you. So you're Jasper. Well, I'm honored. Please don't say you kidnapped me for ransom, because I-I doubt you'll get $50, let alone save the whales. Jasper: No ransom. In actuality, just a simple message— I did not kll Martha St. Clare and I didn't throw that bmb in Krupp's office. And you—you are gonna tell that to the police and to the media. Jane: So you kidnapped me to proclaim your innocence. Have you ever heard of a phone? Oh, yeah. I see. If you kidnap me, and I pass on the message, then you get a blast of that publicity that you love. Jasper: If I am branded a kller, everything I have fought for is discredited. People support me because I have respect for all living things. Jane: Yes. Yes, it's a good rule of thumb to avoid doing things that require you to wear a mask. And you're such a handsome fellow, too. Jasper: How'd you know I'm handsome? Jane: Well, I was just speaking figuratively. Jasper: No, you weren't. You know who I am. Jane: No, I have no idea. Jasper: Leave and don't come back. Jane: No, he doesn't have to go anywhere. I-I-I— Will you listen to me? I have no idea— You could be Elvis Presley, for all I know. Jasper: How did you know? Jane: I don't know. Jasper: How did you... Jane: Please don't do that. Pl— (sighs) (grunts) Jasper takes off his mask. Jasper: How did you know? Jane: Well, what's not to know? Your height, your body language, Your syntax. You said "in actuality." I mean, who—who says "in actuality"? Jasper: Yes. Jane: (whispers) yeah. Jasper: Very clever. So now we have a problem. CBI Cho brings in the guy from the groundbreaking. Bart: Get that thing out of my face! Cho: Jasper kidnapped our colleague. Where are they? Bart: Jasper who? Rigsby: Did you know you can get more time for kidnapping than mrder? That's crazy, right? Cho: And being an accessory after the fact makes you just as guilty as Jasper. Bart: Man, Jasper's avenging mother earth. That's all. Cho: You know him well enough to be sure of his motives. Bart: Yes. Cho: You know him so well you can tell us where he might be. Bart: Even if I knew, which I don't, I would never betray Jasper. Cho: "never" is a big word. Bart: Try me. Rigsby: What would Jane want us to do in this situation, Cho? With his life in jeopardy? Cho: You know what he'd want us to do. Rigsby: Yep. Okay. I guess we have to go there. Cho: We should call an ambulance. It's procedure. Rigsby: Sure. They can set it fast, and we can get straight back to questioning. Bart: Wait. Set what? (loud clank) Cho: Your arm—you broke it, slipped on the stairs. Rigsby: Yeah, you should be more careful, Henrik. Bart: Hey. Hey. A bunch of people saw me come in here fine. Rigsby: A bunch of cops and I'm one of them. I saw you fall. And every cop in this building will say exactly the same. (thud) (blinds rattle) Rigsby: A cabin in the Sierra foothills, 10 miles northeast of Salter. Lisbon: Nice work. The cabin Jasper: What to do? What to do? If I let you go now, you'll rat me out. Jane: If I may make a suggestion? Jasper: No, you may not. Jane: Please, Wilson. I can help. Jasper: I cannot go to prison. I need to finish my work. Don't you see? Jane: I do. I see. Your work is very important. But what I don't understand, though, Is why you were working in the mayor's office. Jasper: Where better to study the enemy than from within their very camp? Jane: Did you know that the mayor was taking bribes from the developer Krupp? Jasper: Of course. Who do you think put Martha onto it? Jane: Ah. You told her. But why not expose the mayor yourself or do it as Jasper? Jasper: They would know that Jasper was inside the mayor's office. They would soon suspect me. I work in the shadows. That's why I am still here, still fighting. Jane: I understand. Let me help you. Jasper: Don't try to play me. Don't go saying you won't tell on me if I set you free, because I know you will. Jane: Wilson, I am not trying to play you. I will not play you. I understand and respect your intelligence. Have a seat. Just take a moment. Wilson, look at me. I can help you. Jasper: (whispers) how? Jane: Look at me. You can see that I'm telling the truth. I want what you want— Peace and harmony. Peace... Quiet... It's easy. You can have it. If you want it, you can have it. So peaceful. Chief of police: This is Chief Donner of the Salter Police Department! You're completely surrounded. Come out with your hands up! Jane: Stay cool. Just stay cool. Cho: Clear! Rigsby: Clear! Lisbon: I'm good. I got him. I got him. Jane: Lisbon? Lisbon: J-Jane. Jane: Wow. I'm impressed. How the hell did you find me out here? Lisbon: Right, because we're lost without you? Jane: Well, I wouldn't say that, but I'm still impressed. Lisbon: Wait. I—don't move. Ohh. They could have booby-trapped the place. We'll have the bmb squad take a look at you. Jane: What? (mutters) you're kidding. You're kidding. I'm—I'm thankful and all that, but just get me out of here, and I'll tell you the story. Lisbon: What story? (handcuffs clatter) CBI Rigsby: So we know who Jasper is. Cho: Fonteneau. Rigsby: No trace of him. Slipped right through the locals' hands. He's one man, for crying out loud. Cho: Well, he obviously knows those woods a lot better. Lisbon: Jane, enough recovery time Tell us about Fonteneau. What'd he say? Jane: Well, he spouted a lot of nonsense, denial. Truth is, he took the job in the mayor's office yo plan targeted attcks on new developments around town. He and St. Clare became lovers. Cho: Secret boyfriend. Jane: But when St. Clare found out about Fonteneau's secret life as Jasper, he klled her for it, to keep her quiet. Van Pelt: I'll check on the warrant for Fonteneau's place. Lisbon: Get everybody briefed, suited up and ready to roll. Jane: Oh, look for St. Clare's necklace. It was a gift from Fonteneau. my guess—he took it when he klled her. We need it. Lisbon: You guys sit on the location until the warrant comes in. (phone) Chief Donner? Yeah, I-it's Lisbon. Jane: Oh, I need some aspirin. Lisbon: Yeah. (pills rattle) Lisbon: (phone)Yeah, I-I just wanted— could you hold on, chief? Look, that's enough, guys. We're done filming. Reporter: You know, catching the bad guy would be a great end of the show, make you guys look like superstars. Jane: Well, it'd certainly make the deputy A. G. Very happy. Lisbon: True. All right You can film the bust, but you have to do exactly what I say. Deal Meet me at Fonteneau's at 06:00 hours. Reporter: Yes, ma'am. Lisbon: Hey. Chief, we're gonna need assistance from your entry team again. Fonteneau's place Reporter: What now? Cho: We set a perimeter and wait for the warrant. Jane: Yeah, there's a lot of this kind of stuff. Not too many car chases. Reporter: Maybe we could, uh, ask a few questions while we're waiting? Jane: Uh... Sure. If you must. Reporter: Um, how did you come to work with the CBI? Jane: You know how. Reporter: Yes, but I-I need you to say it to the camera. Jane: I got it. (sighs deeply) Um... Well, I came to work with the CBI after my wife and child were mrder. Have you ever experienced loss like that? A loss of love? There's nothing more important than love, is there? Reporter: Well, we're talking about you. Jane: Yeah. It can be very hard when love goes away. It's like a... A betrayal, almost like a violent act, right? Right? Reporter: I guess. Um, why don't—why don't we go back to, um— Jane: When you give someone your heart and they throw it aside, iIt's natural to be angry. Especially when you've come to rely on them, when your career is tied to theirs. Reporter: I don't know what you're, uh— Jane: Why don't you show us what you got in your pockets? Reporter: What? Jane: You heard me. Reporter: No. Jane: Why not? Reporter: Because you don't have the right. Jane: Okay. Okay. I'll tell you what you have in your pocket, and you tell me if I'm right. In your pocket, you have a blue topaz necklace that you once gave to Martha St. Clare when you were lovers. You took that necklace back after you klled her. You were gonna plant it in Fonteneau's house, prompted by my cunningly brilliant ruse. Aha. That's it. Reporter: I don't know how that got in there. Jane: Oh, please. Don't be so silly. Arrest him, Cho. Cho: Get on your knees. Put your hands on your head. Now! (click) Get up. Jane: That's for you. And this... Is for me. CBI Jane and Lisbon watch the footage of the groundbreaking. Jane: Here it comes. Bang. There. You looked away. Martha St. Clare's body hasn't been revealed, and you looked away, because you knew what was gonna happen, because you buried that body at that building site and you bmb the trailer to try and frame Jasper. You're too clever, Mike, you're just too clever. Mike: Nah. You spout a lot of theory, But no legal proof. Lisbon: Ah. You want legal proof? The lab reports came back. They found traces of Martha's blood in the trunk of your car. Do you want to tell us what happened? Mike: Rumors said the mayor was dirty, but there was no proof. I knew something was up. But... no matter how much I pushed her, Martha wouldn't say anything. Nothing. And last night, I was going through her computer just checking on some stuff, you know? I found this speech she was preparing to give, exposing the mayor as corrupt, with proof— Facts and figures, the whole deal. And she kept it from me the whole time. This is a story that could have made my career. I have been waiting for a story like this my whole life. And she's mad 'cause I'm on her computer. Hello. So she... She said, uh, she couldn't trust me anymore and that it was over. The argument escalated, and, uh, I took my necklace back. And then she starts taunting me, you know, implying that I don't have what it takes to be in the big leagues anyway, saying I'm a loser. She's had enough? She's had enough? She has? No, no, no, no. I've had enough. Me! Lisbon: Well... We'll take that as a confession. The gng watches mayor Melba get arrested. Reporter: In a stunning revelation, mayor Melba Walker Shannon has been arrested by the D.A. for corruption charges stemming from the Granton at Salter development. The accuser is her closest aide, Wilson Fonteneau, who agreed to testify against the mayor in exchange for leniency regarding his activities as eco-trror1st "Jasper." This only the latest development in a bizarre story of mrder and greed that has captivated the central valley. Jane: Hey. I was enjoying that. Lisbon: Ugh. I hate how they overdramatize everything. Cho: Yeah, I hate that. Lisbon: (deepens voice) "captured the central valley." (normal voice) give me a break. Rigsby: Doughnuts. Jane: Thanks. Ladies first. Rigsby: So, uh, guys? Uh, I have something to say. Van Pelt: We have something to say. Rigsby: Uh, life's too short for dishonesty Van Pelt— Grace and I are... Lovers. Lisbon: No, you're not. Van Pelt: Um, yes, we are. Lisbon: No, you are not lovers. Rigsby: Uh, but we are, though. Lisbon: No, you're not, because a sexual relationship between two fellow bureau employees is strictly against the rules. Van Pelt: Which is why we kept it a secret. Rigsby: But we don't want to live a lie anymore. (inhales deeply) come what may. (chuckles) Jane: Well, it's a big secret. Well-kept. Rigsby: Well, maybe you knew, but nobody else did. Cho: I knew. Half the building knows. Rigsby: They do not. Jane: The only person that didn't know is glaring at you right now. Lisbon: And now I have to do something about it. Cho: What are you gonna do? Jane: Yeah, what are you gonna do? Lisbon: I'm thinking. Go.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x12 - Bleeding Heart"}	foreverdreaming
Zenith Motor Gallery, Marin County the owner: Mr. Norris, I'm gonna let one of my guys show you the Lamborghini. It's your new car. You just don't know it yet. a salesman: The McLaren looks good on you, Mr. Landau. buyer: Not tonight. another salesman: A lot of fellas out there— They've got to sell station wagons, minivans, This? I don't have to sell this This is the good life on wheels, stem to stern. Hell, the trunk's bigger than my first apartment. (He opens the trunk to show it off to a prospective buyer and finds a dad woman in the trunk.) Oh, my God. Liselle. CBI arrives. Lisbon: Agent Rigsby, what do we have? Rigsby: Hey, boss. Liselle Douglas, salesperson here, age 28. Blunt force trauma, numerous contusions, possible skull fracture. Cho: Her clothes are still intact. No obvious signs of sexual asault. Lisbon: What is it? Jane: I just love that new car smell. Lisbon: Anything on the time of death? Van Pelt: She was last seen working here late last night. Private security did a sweep at midnight, reported the alarm system hadn't been activated. Coroner thinks she was probably dad by then. Let's get the body out of here, see what we can find out. Rigsby yeah, you got it. Lisbon: That's expensive, huh? Cho: $300,000 retail. Probably get a discount now, though. Cho talks to salesmen. Cho: Hey, guys. One of you found the body? Brad: Yeah, James Kinsey. I believe he's in the John right now. Brad Elias. Cho: Any idea who could have done this, Mr. Elias? Brad: No. None. It was horrible. This is a tragedy. We're like a family here. Jane: Ha! Family. That's cute. Brad: Excuse me? Jane: You work on commission, right? Brad: Sure. Jane: Okay, then you're not a family at all. You're a gladiator pit. You're a seething mass of primal hostility and mistrust. Brad: That's not true. People have the wrong idea about sales. There's a lot of respect among us, right, guys? Salesmen: oh, yeah. Jane: Clearly you're a top dog amongst this pack here, But the question is, who's the fastest runner? Brad: Runner? Jane: Liselle's clients are gonna need a new broker, aren't they? And I think that my associate, agent Cho here, left her client list upstairs. In your break room. It might be a little ghoulish to grab it up so soon, but it is still up there, and someone, at some point, will... A group of salesman break into a run for it, including Elias. Cho: I've got the client list right here. It's evidence. What did you do that for? Jane: I have eliminated this man from any suspicion. Too honest to profit from a klling? Too honest to kll. Right? Salesman: Right. Jane: Hey, guys, break it up. Unless, of course, you're very cunning and you're working a double bluff. No, I didn't think so. The Mentalist 2x13 Redline Zenith Motor Gallery, Marin County Owner: Liselle didn't show up for work yesterday. I didn't know what to think. It wasn't like her. Cho: You were worried? Owner: I was pissed. Hosting the party was her responsibility. It's a good think that Kinsey stepped up. (to salesman) Heard you boys didn't play nice last night. Naughty, naughty. Jane: You like your employees at each other's throats? Owner: You bet I do. This is a job for winners. We're the top luxury broker in northern California. We got four floors of stock back there. We got over $100 million in sales annually. My guys have to earn their place. So every six months we have a sales drive. So Top guy on the board gets a titanium diamond Rolex. Bottom guy... gets a new job. Look, agents, not to press—my clients would like to know when we can reopen. What can I tell them? Cho: You can tell them a woman's dad. Owner: Which is terrible, uh, but this is a service business. Jane: And when sharks stop swimming, they drown, right? Owner: no malingering guys. This is James Kinsey. Jane: Ah. Ah, top salesman. Congratulations. James: Thanks. Owner: Damn right. This guy could sell a cat to a mouse. James: Ah, I might have to throw in a few extras to close that deal. Cho: Mr. Westhoff here says you were working with Liselle the night she disappeared. James: Yeah, working on last night's party, sure. I left her here about, uh, 8:00,8:30. Cho: How'd she seem—her demeanor? James: Fine, I guess. Uh, a little tense, maybe. A lot of pressure to get that party together. Jane rfles through the fridge. Jane: Hey. Hey. James: That—that's—that's mine. Jane: That. Okay. Cho: Now how'd you and Liselle get along? James: Uh, great. She's a great girl. Jane: Great? But you resented her. James: No. Jane: Yes. Why was that? She was in the middle of the pack, so she was no thrat to you. Owner: Liselle did very well for her age. Jane: She did very well because she was beautiful, and you felt that gave her an unfair advantage. James: hey, sex sells. That's a fact of life. Jane: Oh, yeah. James: Listen, her actual pitching skills—bush league. You put a bag on her, Liselle couldn't sell squat. Cho: Ever ask her out? James: Yeah. Jane: How'd that go for you? James: Uh, she said no. Boyfriend. Cho: What was his name? James: Um, uh, Jeff. Jeff somebody— musician, wannabe rock star. Yeah, she was always bitching about him. Always drama with those two. CBI Van Pelt: Boyfriend is Jeff Sparhawk. The victim had a loft with him south of Market. Here's the address. Lisbon: Jane and I will look into it. You check out her financials. Rigsby arrives. Rigsby: You wanted to see me, boss? Lisbon: Actually, I wanted to see both of you. Shut the door. Sit down. You know what this is about. The other day you told me you were involved in a romantic relationship with each other. Rigsby: Yes. Lisbon: Dating within the unit is strictly against CBI regulations. I wanted to take some time to think about how to respond, but I realize that it's causing tension, so... Agent Rigsby and Van Pelt, are you involved in a personal relationship with each other? Van Pelt: Yes. Rigsby: We are. Lisbon: Okay, then. As your supervisor, I have to report the relationship to employee support services. I'm gonna do it as soon as we close this case. Do you have any questions? Van Pelt: But they'll make one of us transfer out of the unit. Lisbon: Yes, they will. That's the rule. You knew that. You can go now. Lisbon and Jane go to Jeff's apartment. Lisbon: Where the hell is 4-B? Jane: I understand your position. There's no need to bat yourself up about it. Lisbon: What are you talking about? Jane: Well, that you feel bad about Rigsby and Van Pelt. Lisbon: No, I don't. Jane: Well, you can't help wondering if there's a hint of jealousy and resentment in your decision. Lisbon: Excuse me? They hear a noise from inside and go in to find Jeff Sparhawk bashing the crap out of one of his guitars. Lisbon: Mr. Sparhawk? We're with the California Bureau of Investigation. Jeff: California what? Lisbon: We want to ask you some questions about Liselle. You want to put down what's left of your guitar? Jeff: Yeah. Whatever. Jane: I'll make some tea. Lisbon: Why all the demolition, Jeff? Jeff: I'm sad. I like to destroy things when I'm sad. Jane: Well, some sadness, but mostly guilt, a dollop of self-pity, tingle of excitement. So you're a musician? All right. You any good? Jeff: No. Jane: You're okay. I could tell Liselle was a woman of taste. She wouldn't have loved a bad musician. Jeff: Yeah. I'm great. Huge. Last year I made $9,000 for my music. Jane: Well, that's $9,000 more than van Gogh ever made from his art. Jeff: Yeah, things worked out for him. Lisbon: Okay. So, um, Liselle was the breadwinner? Jeff: Yeah. Her cut on an Aston... could keep us going for a couple months, so I could concentrate on my music. She did it for me. She hated that job. Lisbon: Did that ever cause tension in your relationship? Jeff: Sure. Couples fight. I didn't like her working at that place, but... Jane: You needed the money. It's fair enough. Jeff: She was getting ht on all the time by rich egomaniacs, okay? It's gonna make you jealous, right? Guys, uh, guys try to give her stuff. Lisbon: What kind of stuff? Jeff: You know, uh, jewelry, perfume, stuff like that. Liselle always sent it back. Lisbon: Why? Jeff: Out of respect for me. Or if she couldn't give it back, she gave it away. Jane: Not all of it. This is very valuable. Jeff: Liselle said it was too valuable to get rid of. She said we'd use it to, uh, pay for our wedding. Lisbon: Who gave her the print? Jeff: I've done bad, stupid things. I never deserved her. And now she's gone. God. Jane: Oh, stop. Self-pity'll kll you. Take it from someone that knows. Leaving the apartment Lisbon: Jeff Sparhawk has no alibi. Jane: You can dispense with the cop talk, Lisbon. You can tell me what's bothering you. Lisbon: Nothing's bothering me. Jane: Okay. Lisbon: Nothing is bothering me. Jane: Message received. Lisbon: Good. Jane: Sparhawk—no alibi, yeah? Mm. Lisbon: okay, I'm jealous and resentful? That is nonsense. Jane: yet you recall my exact words. There's no shame in it. I feel that way, too, sometimes. Why does everyone else get to have a normal life? Lisbon: My life is fine. Jane: Normally you rise above such craven emotions, but in this case, your hands were tied. It's the rules. You're forced to do what your worst self is telling you to do anyway. Hence, your tension headache. Lisbon: I don't... All right. I-I do have a headache, but that's a coincidence. Nah. Either I obey the rules or I risk taking big heat for ignoring them. This is on Van Pelt and Rigsby, not me. Jane: Whatever you say. Lisbon: (phone) Lisbon. Van Pelt: Hey, I found something on that print. It sold at auction in San Francisco last year, purchased by Walter Mashburn for 30 grand. Lisbon: Mashburn. Sounds familiar. Van Pelt: He founded Mashburn Avionics, sold it ten years ago for billions. He was also Liselle Douglas' last appointment the day she died. Jane and Lisbon head to his private club. Lisbon: Did you notice the badge, or should I show you again? Receptionist: I'm so sorry, but I can't say if Mr. Mashburn is here or not. We're a private club, and our members treasure their privacy. Jane: Don't worry. I'll find him. Receptionist: W—excuse me, sir. member (arrives with a blonde on his arm): Well, hello there. The deck, corner table? Huh? Oh, you must be new. Walter Mashburn. The four of them sit down to lunch. Walter: I liked Liselle Smart woman. Damn shame. Lisbon: And you gave her an expensive gift. Walter: Yes. Lisbon: Were you sleeping with her? Walter: If I slept with everyone I gave gifts to, I wouldn't get any work done... or any sleep, for that matter. Jane: But you propositioned her, and she said no. Walter: Perceptive. You're a psychic, aren't you? Jane: What makes you say that? Walter: You have this charlatan air about you. My second... no, my third wife was into all that mystical goop. You learn to recognize the type. Lisbon: How many wives have you had? Walter: enough to know better. But I'm currently unattached. Lisbon: So were you sleeping with Liselle or not? Jane: Not. Walter: That print was a reward for finding me an Austin Healey 2-seater from 1960. There was only a few hundred made. No. She earned that gift. Lisbon: And the appointment you had with her the day she died? Walter: To pick the car up. Do you want to see it? Lisbon: No, thanks. Jane: I'd love to. Walter: You have a damaged intensity that's quite attractive. Jane: Mm. Yeah. Walter: Let me buy you a drink sometime. Lisbon: I live in Sacramento. Walter: I have a jet. Jane: Oh, you're very good. Very good. I have one question— uh, did you kll Liselle? Hmm? Walter: Jake, check, please. Let me show you folks something. Dock Walter: Smugglers call 'em go-fast boats—says it all. Nothing like flying across the ocean at 80 knots to get the blood going. Would you like to come for a ride? Lisbon: We get it. You're an energetic man. You like danger. So why bring us here? Walter: I have no love for danger. Nothing's dangerous if you think ahead. If you plan it right, you can get away with... Well, I was gonna say you can get away with mrder, but... you know what I mean. Lisbon: Okay. So... What's the point in showing us your fancy toy here? Walter: This is how I live my life. I have a Castle in Scotland, a compound on the waterfront in Marin. If I klled Liselle, would I stuff her in the trunk like some low-rent thug? Jane: How would you have done it? Walter: She would have just disappeared, like smoke, like she was never there. Jane: You enjoy being a mrder suspect, don't you? Walter: Am I? A suspect? Jane: Of course. It could be you're a sociopath, or it could be that klling is a thrill that you can't buy. Not a lot excites you anymore, does it, Walter? Walter: Patrick, if you really think I klled Liselle, there's only one thing for you to do. Try and catch me. Jane That could be you. CBI Lisbon: Mashburn's got zero priors, but he's been investigated for several shady business deals. Rigsby: But they never found anything. Legit business genius, it says here. Lisbon: He thinks he's a genius. He's a pirate that got lucky. He's gotten everything he wanted since he was 30 years old. Jane: Except you. Rigsby: Wait. Walter Mashburn asked you out? Lisbon: No. Well, sort of. Rigsby: Wow. Jane: Personally, I thought she should have gone for it. A little empty glamour would have been good for her. But, no, not our Lisbon. Lisbon: Rigsby, why don't you go and talk to his alibi, the swimsuit model? Rigsby: Oh, sure, yeah, the swimsuit model. Uh, no problem. Jane: The alibi will be solid, whether he did it or not. Lisbon: Check anyway. Cho arrives. Cho: I got something. It seems Westhoff, the boss at Zenith Motors, reported a Ferrari disappeared from their service department the night of the mrder. But an hour later, Westhoff called the sheriff back and said never mind. Lisbon: So he found the car? Cho: Didn't say. Van Pelt arrives. Van Pelt: We need to find out. I got the autopsy report. Liselle died of major head trauma caused by forceful contact with the pavement. That put together with skin abrasions, bone fractures— Jane: She was ht by a car. Rigsby: Well, if a car is the mrder wapon, it'll have trace evidence on it—blood, D. N.A.— Even if the kller washed it. Lisbon: Talk to Westhoff. D. N.A. evidence doesn't last forever. Rigsby: Okay. Zenith Motor Gallery James: Whoo. I'm out sick two days, and you give the Tarlen account to Legler? Owner: You've been sick on and off for a month. James: It's not my fault I got a stomach bug. Owner: Hey, no free rides. You eat what you kll here— that's rule number one. James: Don't tell me about rules, you son of a bitch. This is me talking. Owner: Oh, you? James: Yeah. Owner: You need to remember which one of us here is the man. Jane and Cho get to the office. Cho: Hey, guys. Are we interrupting something? Owner: Management seminar. Jane: Traditionally in these dominance displays, it's customary to, uh, bare one's canines. Some species go so far as exposing their genitals. Cho: 1986 Ferrari Testarossa— belongs to an Alexa Landau, and it disappeared from your service department. Where is it? Owner: I don't know. Cho: Then why'd you tell the cops "never mind"? James: 'cause I told him the owner's husband may have taken the car. We try not to call the police on our clients. Jane: He stole his own wife's car? James: Yeah, Landaus are splitting up. You know, rich people and their frickin' soap opera lives. Apparently, the husband took the car to Vegas, partied hard, left the car a mess. Now Alexa's pissed. Owner: And before she jets off to Milan, she brings it in to be detailed, specifically tells Kinsey not to let her pig husband near it. He tells me this later. Cho: And you think the husband didn't take no for an answer? James: Noah Landau's a big record producer, not really known for his impulse control. And he loves that car. Cho: Noah Landau was at the cocktail party when Liselle's body was discovered. I'll talk to Lisbon. Jane: Mm. "rich people and their frickin' soap opera lives." You don't really like rich people much, do you, Kinsey? James: Are you kidding? I love 'em. I'm on the way up, my friend. Rich people are taking me there. Jane: Well, someday, but in the meantime, Landau is dining at some lavish restaurant in Las Vegas. Sitting across the table from him is a woman probably half his age that's laughing at every one of his jokes. And you're stuck here with this guy, reheating... Beef soup? James: Beef—beef barley. Do you mind? Jane: Sure Would you say you have food issues? You don't have to answer that. Were you an orphan? James: A lot of thieves around here. Owner: Oh, like I'm gonna steal your lunch. Jane: Well, someone did. James: Yeah, just the other day. How low is that? Jane: Beef barley? James: Yeah. Jane: Beef— It's not really a popular soup meat, is it? Cho: Each his own. Jane: Yeah, I guess. In the street Van Pelt: So he klled her while stealing his own car? Rigsby: That's the theory. Look, Grace, I just wanna let you know I'm not worried about Lisbon reporting us. We'll make it work, whatever happens. Van Pelt: I know we will. Rigsby: If worse comes to worse, they probably wouldn't transfer you out of the central valley, L. A. or something like that is really unlikely. Van Pelt: We'll you're assuming I'm the one to be transferred? Rigsby: Yeah, I've been here almost five years, so seniority, Plus, this is my career, you know? Van Pelt: It's my career, too, Wayne. Rigsby: No, I didn't mean it that way. Obviously, you can have a career as well. Van Pelt: Thanks for your permission. Landau's place Landau: Why would I steal my own car? Rigsby: Oh, it was your wife's car, Mr. Landau, your, uh, estranged wife? Landau: Yeah, well, we're uh— what do you call—reconciling. Van Pelt: Oh? Congratulations. That's nice. So the trip to Vegas was a last hurrah? Yes, we know about it. We know everything, Mr. Landau. Liselle Douglas sold your wife that car. You know her? Landau: Really? Liselle sold me that car. '86 Testarossa— frickin' classic. You think Alexa even cared? She can't even drive stick. Rigsby: So you took what was yours That's understandable. Landau: You know what? You should leave. Van Pelt: You klled her, didn't you? Ran Liselle down when she caught you taking the car. Landau: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. Wait a second That's how she died? Rigsby: Well, maybe you didn't see her until it was too late. It was dark. Help yourself, Mr. Landau. Tell us your side. Landau: Wow. Oh, man, it's not like that. It's not like that. Look... When I got back from Vegas, I, uh, I-I forgot some, uh, stuff in my car. Rigsby: Drugs? Landau: No. Yeah, drugs. What else? Alexa and I— We're working out custody of our son. So you could see how a drug bust could look bad. Rigsby: Well, a place like Zenith would never call the police on a client. Landau: Of course not. They'd politely leave it in the glove box, where Alexa would find it and have me thrown in prison. That's why I had to get the car before she found the dope. Van Pelt: So you stole it. Landau: Uh, no. I asked someone to do me a favor. And then I was partying, I lost my phone, I can't get ahold of the guy. That's why I went to that stupid cocktail party, to try to hook up with him. Rigsby: He's a salesman? Landau: No, no. It's Liselle's boyfriend. His name is Jeff Sparhawk. He's got the car. Jumped at the chance to get close to me, so I was... should have just asked him to kll my wife. That's a joke. You guys, man. Zenith Motor Gallery Jane and Cho hang out in the showroom. Jane: Ooh. Whoa! Brad: Excuse me. Mr. Jane. Jane: What? Oh, sorry. Brad: If you could just— right over here. I'm sorry, Mr. Jane. You cannot hang out in the merchandise. Jane: Oh. Okay. Uh, well, what we need then is a test drive. Down to the beach would be good. Brad: You're looking to buy? Jane: Absolutely. Well, not me, but, uh I don't really care for this kind of ostentation, but Cho likes what you're cooking. Do you think you could show us around the lot? Brad: You know, I'm so sorry. Our inventory starts in the low six figures, so I need a bank statement before I can book an appointment. Otherwise we would be inundated with requests. You understand. Jane: Yeah, of course. Uh, you'd make an exception for a friend, wouldn't you? Brad: No. Jane: Oh. Okay. Cho: Hey. We got a lead on Sparhawk and the missing Ferrari. Gotta go. Jane: Uh, could you do me a favor? Could you drop me someplace on the way? Cho: Sure. Dock Jane waits for Mashburne. Walter: Patrick. Jane: Ahoy! Walter: Unexpected pleasure. What brings you here? Jane: Fishing. Walter: For what? Jane: Whatever bites. Walter: You're not on stakeout then? Jane: What's a stakeout? The rest of the team goes to the Ferrari, which was crashed into some bushes. Lisbon: There's our car. Where's Sparhawk? I can't believe he could walk away from something like this in one piece. Rigsby: That's blood on the air bag. He was in it, all right. Lisbon: No brake marks. He ran directly into the pole. They hear shouts nearby. Policeman: Put the sword down now. Jeff: Come on. Come and get me! Watch out. Watch out. Come on, you bastards! Come and take me. Policeman: Put it down! Put it down. Jeff: Go ahead and make me! Lisbon: Don't sht him unless he goes at me for real. Rigsby: I don't know, boss. Boss... Lisbon: Jeff... We need to talk. Jeff: No. Lisbon: Jeff... Put that thing down now Jeff: Make me. go ahead and make me! Nobody's gonna sht you, Lisbon: Jeff... No matter how badly you want them to. Jeff: I klled her. I klled Liselle. Lisbon: Then let's talk about it. Let us help you, Jeff. Put down the wapon. Stand down. You're under arrest, Jeff. We're gonna take you to a doctor, have him check you out. Jane and Mashburne stroll on the beach. Walter: Is this it? Is this how you work your magic? Jane: What magic's that? Oh. Check out this little puppy. That's a keeper. Walter: You think I didn't check you out? Jane: What'd you find? Walter: Psychic, just as I called it. Jane: Ah, no such thing as psychics. Walter: Oh, I know. You're a charlatan, as I said. You lost your wife and kid to a serial kller— Your fault, you think— And now you're on this hopeless quest for redemption, battling evil and injustice, right? Jane: Close enough. Walter: You play mind games with people, you size up their weaknesses and then you give them the rope to hang themselves. Jane: Oh, you make it sound so cool. Walter: And as for your work so far on me, I guess you think I'm vain, egotistical and hate being ignored. Jane: Do you disagree? Walter: No. It's pretty much accurate. But I'm also cunning, ruthless, and I hate to lose. Jane: Just the kind of man that would kll a woman for rejecting him. Walter: Did I? Jane: Well, you knew Liselle was stuffed in the trunk. How? Walter: I have a lot of friends— Sheriff's Department, Mayor's Office. Jane: Did you kll Liselle Douglas? Walter: You tell me. Jane: I'll know soon enough. I just need to read you a little more, dig a little deeper into your psyche, if you don't mind. Walter: Not at all. Dig away. It'll be fun. Jane: Anything for a thrill. Walter: Yes. Pretty much. Jane: (phone) Hello? Lisbon: (phone) We brought in the victim's boyfriend. He's looking pretty good for it. Wanna come and have a chat with him? Jane: Yeah, maybe a little later. I'm kind of busy. Lisbon: Where are you? Jane: Well, I'm with an admirer of yours, Who, uh, looks very good for it as well, has "kller" written all over his face. Lisbon: Not Mashburn. Walter: Tell her I said hi. Jane: Uh, he said hi. Lisbon: In there. Jane: Hung up. CBI Rigsby: Grace. Van Pelt: Yes? Rigsby: Look, you're giving me frostbite. Can we talk or what? Van Pelt: Sure. I guess. Rigsby: Okay, look... I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to say that your job is less important than mine. Van Pelt: I know. It's just... you're deciding how my career should go? Planning my entire life for me? It's not like we're married or anything. Rigsby: Grace, I get it. You're right. We're not married. How stupid would that be, right? Van Pelt: Stupid? Rigsby: Yeah, um, we've only been dating a couple months. Who knows what's gonna happen? Van Pelt: Well, sure, but what's stupid about it? Rigsby: I-I-I-I meant stupid if we got married today. Van Pelt: But what about tomorrow? I mean, long-term, where are we? Rigsby: Do we have to discuss this right now? Van Pelt: Yeah, we probably should have done it Before we announced our relationship and I endangered my job. Rigsby: Well, my job's on the line, too. Van Pelt: That's not what you said before. You have seniority, remember? Rigsby: Look, Grace, I know you're scared, but you can't keep blwing hot and cold on me like this, not now. Van Pelt: So what, I should just move to the Fresno Office and smile about it? Rigsby: You know what? Fine. Do whatever you want, Grace. Cho and Lisbon talk to Jeff. Lisbon: Jeff, we've got the lab rushing the results on the D. N.A. test on the bumper of the Ferrari. Cho: Once we find Liselle's blood, any leverage you had is gone. You should plead this out now. Jeff: You think I klled her? Lisbon: It helps that you said so during the standoff. Right. Jeff: What's weird... I think if I had klled her, I'd feel better than I do now. At least I'd feel in control. Lisbon: So now you're saying you didn't do it? Jeff: I didn't. But I did... Metaphorically. I klled her with my selfishness. Lisbon: This isn't a lyric-writing workshop, Jeff. You were there the night she died. You stole the car at Landau's request and stashed it where? Parking garage? Jeff: Yeah. I thought, uh, if this guy gives me a break, I can finally make it, take care of Liselle for once. She takes care of me by working her ass off. My big idea was grand theft auto. Cho: Maybe Liselle caught you, tried to stop you. Jeff: No. Cho: Maybe it was an accident. Jeff: No. She w—she never even saw me. She was working too hard. I loved her. If I had klled her, you wouldn't be talking to me, 'cause I'd be dad, too. Lisbon: We need Jane. Cho: Yeah. The country club Jane: The human brain is built in layers— The hm* sapien brain on top of the caveman on top of the animal. Way down, deep below, you will find the lizard brain. Lizard— all action and reaction, no subtlety. You cannot train it to not react. Walter: Then where did I hide the ring? Jane: You're telling me. All the lizard brain knows is that something is hidden and you don't want it found. You can't hide your reaction. Walter: You're talking a good game, but I don't see my ring. Jane: I'm listening and the ring... Is... Excuse me. Huh. Thanks. Cheers. Thank you. Voila . Walter: Parlor trick. Jane: Yes, but it gives me a truer sense of your character. Walter: It's quackery You—you disappoint me. Jane: You think you sweat too much, you have mild dirt phobia, and you have issues with your mother. Walter: Who doesn't? Quackery. Jane: If I cared at all about respect, I would say that that is disrespectful. Walter: I just say what I see. Jane: I have to prove you wrong. Do you have, uh, a good fast car available? Walter: I do. They get into a Lamborghini, with Jane blindfolded. Cho: Jane, what are you doing? Jane: Cho. Proving a point. Lisbon with you? Cho: No. Jane: Oh, that's a shame. She'd enjoy this. Cho: She wants you back at the office. Jane: No doubt. You ready, Walter? Walter: I think so. Jane: Good. Oh! It's very low. You nervous? Walter: Of course not. Jane: Well, you should be. It's a very fancy car. I don't like the color. But, uh, what I'm gonna do is steer by feeling your reactions. You play it cool, we crash. Whatever you do, do not close your eyes. Okay? Walter: Okay. Jane: All right .Uh, how do I turn it on? Walter: Here. Jane: Okay. Walter: Whoo! Oh, I'll be damned. Jane: Ahh! That was fun. Whoo! Thank you. Voila . All in the wrist. Huh? All in the wrist. He gets out to applause, the car rolls to the edge of the cliff and off into the surf below. Cho: Why'd you do that? Jane: It was a total accident. Well, uh... at least no one got hurt. It was a terrible color, anyway. I-I'll get you a new one. Sorry. CBI Van Pelt: No traces of blood or D. N.A. on the stolen car. Lisbon: Nothing? So we have no mrder wapon. Van Pelt: And no suspects. Lisbon: Let's start over. Go through every witness statement. Excuse me. (phone) Hey, Cho. Oh, no. Oh, great. No. No, you can handle this one. Just be sure to be clear that the CBI is not liable. He is just a consultant. Zenith Motor Gallery Jane: Uh, long story. Uh, I have to buy Walter a new car. Could you show us what you have? James: As I explained, Mr. Jane, we need a bank statement to confirm— Walter: Mr. Jane has assured me on his honor that he's good for it. So I'll vouch for him. Do you need to see my bank statement? Brad: Of course not. Walter: All right Well, then let's do this. James: Absolutely. Jane: I think we'll have Elias show us around. James: But you want the best to help show you around. Jane: Yes, he's second best. He'll try harder. Right? Brad: Right. Jane: Shall we? Walter: How about this one here? Brad: Excellent eye. This car— Jane: Well, it's gray. I mean, really? Gray? Your car. Mm. Walter: No. Gray'd be completely wrong, wouldn't it? Jane: Let's take a look at the, uh... Actually, no. Let's go this way. Shall we? Walter: Patrick, we've been this way before. Let's go back. Jane: Oh, please. Be patient. See, the thing is, Walter, no matter how smart a plan you make, there is always someone smarter who will see through it— makes it very hard to get away with mrder. I like this car shopping. It's a lot of fun. I think that's your car. What do you think, Cho? Cho: 6-speed, pedal shifters. Nice. Jane: Oh, yeah. Mm! Walter: Eh. It's okay, I suppose. Jane: Try it. I think you'll like it. Walter: I'll take a look. Brad: Mr. Mashburn, may I suggest— This car—it's... a little gauche for you. Jane: Did you see his last car? This is a lot better color. This color symbolizes passion, lust, anger. I think it's lovely. It does have a little ding down here. I'm sure they can fix that, right, Elias? Brad: It's a really nice car, but it's had some transmission problems. I suggest that we look at the Lamborghini Murcia lago. V-12,631 horsepower—much nicer than the one you had before. You know what? Maybe—maybe we left the first floor a little too soon. There were some really choice cars upstairs. But, of course, if this is the car you like, no problem. Of course. I mean, it's—it's a matter of opinion. I... Cho: You feeling all right? Brad: I'm fine, yes. That's—I'm fine. Jane: He's not fine. He's feeling squeamish 'cause this is the car that he used to kll Liselle. Brad: I'm sorry. What? Jane: You led us right to it. Brad: I did not. Jane: Yes, you did. You led us right to it, And how could you do that if you didn't kll her? Brad: That's the most— That's the most ridiculous... Elias runs. Cho take off after him. Walter: This car was the hidden ring, wasn't it? Jane: Yep. Walter: And you read Elias' lizard brain to figure out— yeah. So it's over. Jane: Yeah, it's over. Walter: That's too bad. It was fun. Jane: Yeah. How you gonna top that thrill? Walter: Maybe next time I'll be the kller. CBI Brad: It's the competition. You have no idea. It eats at you. Second place—first loser. Jane: Kinsey was winning another sales drive. It should have been you. Westhoff likes hustle, so you hustled. Lisbon: And you made Kinsey sick by poisoning his beef barley soup. Only Liselle caught you at it, didn't she? Brad: Kinsey had been sick for a while. She figured it out, got mad. She threw away the soup and said that I had to tell Westhoff what I had done, told me I had to make this right. "make this right"— who says that? Self-righteous bitch. Westhoff finds out I was taking out his top earner, he'd make sure I'd never work again And Kinsey? That son of a bitch would call the cops for sure Security showed up sooner than I thought, so I stuffed the body in the trunk. It was me or her. You have to understand that. Someone gives you that choice, you choose you every time. Lisbon: I'm sure a jury will sympathize. Brad: How did you know it was me? Jane: Like I said, you're number two. Number two always tries harder. That, and nobody steals beef barley soup. Jeff: They, uh, told me they're not pressing charges, said I have you to thank. So, uh, you know, thanks. Lisbon: Just don't screw it up, Jeff. Lisbon: You didn't tell me. Rigsby: Excuse me? Lisbon: That you're together. You didn't say it. I didn't hear you. There are no rules being broken that I'm aware of— No holding hands, no soulful looks and absolutely no kissing in the office. Van Pelt: No problem. Rigsby: Fine. Lisbon: (phone)Hello? Jane? Meet you where? Liqbon waits outside and Jane pulls up in his sporty new Mercedes. Jane: Hey. Need a ride? Lisbon: Where did you get that? Jane: Oh, this old thing? Walter Mashburn. Lisbon: Even though you wrecked his car just to get a clean read on Elias? Jane: Is that what I did? Lisbon: Yeah, you did. Mashburn's not mad? Jane: No. We gave him a new experience. He helped us catch the k*ller. This is his way of saying thank you. Get in. Lisbon: We're not allowed to accept gifts from people. Jane: It's not a gift. It's a lend. Now I know this fantastic restaurant in Napa. We can be there in about seven and a half minutes. It'll blow your mind. Lisbon: It is a pretty nice car. Jane: Yes, it is. Come on. Lisbon: Promise you won't break the speed limit? Jane: Nope. Lisbon: Ooh!	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x13 - Redline"}	foreverdreaming
CBI Jane makes a magic trick. Jane: Heads again. That's 18. Heads again. 19. And... Voila I believe that's the wager. Lisbon: Pay up. Rigsby: Okay. So what's the trick? Jane: Trick? Rigsby: Tell me what the trick is, and I will give you the money. Jane: The trick is... I have supernatural powers. Rigsby: It's a 2-headed coin right? Lisbon: Looks normal to me. Rigsby: You did something to the coin, right? Come on, man. I gave you 20 bucks. In the main room, a beautiful woman is waiting. Lisbon: Uh, can I help you? Elise: Am I in the way? Kimball said I could sit here. Lisbon: Kimball? Elise: I'm a friend of his Elise Chay. Lisbon: Elise, yes. Yeah, I'm Theresa Lisbon. Cho's talked about you. Elise: It's nice to meet you. You must be Rigsby. Rigsby: Oh, hey. Wayne. It's a pleasure. Elise: It is. I like putting faces to names. Um, I have to ask you— Patrick Jane—is— over here. Oh. Hi. Jane: Hi. Elise: I thought he'd look scarier. Lisbon: He's resting. Cho arrives. Cho: Hey. Elise: Hey. I was just meeting everybody. Rigsby: Yeah, we were just getting to the embarrassing questions. Cho: And that's why we're leaving. Our reservation's at 8:00. Elise: Well, it was nice meeting you all. Lisbon: Have a good night. Phone rings Cho: Let me just get this. Elise: Okay, I'll be by the elevator. Cho: All right. (phone) Cho. Detective: (phone) Uh, agent Kimball Cho? Cho: (phone) That's right. Detective: (phone) It's Detective Sharon Florey, Oakland homicide. I just caught a sh*ting on the east side. I'm hoping you can help me out with it. Cho: (phone) Uh, if you want CBI's assistance, Detective, you'll have to run it by the special agent in charge. Detective: (phone) No, I'm—I'm not asking for CBI, agent, just you. Cho: (phone) Me? Why? Detective: (phone) Well, we haven't I. D.'d the victim yet, but we got his phone. There were three calls to your number in the past few days. That bring a name to mind? Cho: (phone) What's the victim look like? Detective: (phone) Asian male, early 30s, prison tats. Uh, gangbanger, probably. Cho: (phone) What's the address? Detective: (phone) 1300 Summit Street, Oakland. Cho: (phone) All right. I'm on my way. Thanks. Jane: Duty calls? Cho: It's a homicide in Oakland. They want help with the I. D. Jane: You're gonna disappoint that lovely young lady waiting out by the elevator for a corpse? In Oakland? Cho: A job's a job. Jane: I'll come with you. Cho: No. I'll do this alone. The crime scene in a dark alley. Detective: Agent Cho. Detective Florey. Victim took three bllts in the back Wallet's missing, but I don't think it was a robbery. He still had his phone on him and some cash in his back pocket, also this- (a piece of paper with lots of numbers on it) mean anything to you? Cho: No. (He looks at the victim.) His name's David Seung, Got out six months ago after doing time at Folsom. He's a banger, member of the Avon Park Playboys. Jane: Avon Park Playboys? Cho: My old gng. Detective: You ran with the Playboys? Cho: Seung's only family is his grandmother, same last name. She lives on Telegraph Avenue. Detective: Know what he'd been up to since getting out? Cho: No idea. Haven't talked to him in 13 years. Detective: What about those calls? Cho: He left a couple messages, said he needed help. Jane: You didn't call him back and find out why? Cho: No. Anything else, Detective? Detective: We're good. Thanks for your help. Jane: Thank you. All right. What's the story? Cho: You heard the story. Jane: Why did he call you for help? Are you friends? Cho: We used to be best friends. He was like my brother. The Mentalist 2x14 Blood in, Blood Out The next day at CBI HQ, Rigsby is still puzzled by the coin flip trick. Cho: Morning. Rigsby: Does that look funny to you? Like, thicker? Cho: Why? Rigsby: I'm thinking Jane weighted it on one side so that it always lands heads. Except when I flip it, It doesn't always land heads. It comes up tails half the time. Maybe there's a technique of tossing it. Cho: You're not getting enough sex from Van Pelt. Rigsby: Hey. Shh. We don't talk about that. David's grandmother comes to see Cho. Mrs. Seung: Kimball. Cho: Mrs. Seung. Mrs. Seung: It's so good to see you after all these years. Cho: What can I do for you? Mrs. Seung: You never visited him in prison, did you? Cho: No. Mrs. Seung: 12 years is a long time. I told David about you, when you joined the army, when you became a police officer. He always looked up to you. You'll be working to find who klled him, won't you? Cho: No, ma'am. The case belongs to the Oakland police. They'll find whoever did this. Mrs. Seung: That Detective woman— She thinks David got klled because he was in the gng. That's not true. Cho: It does look like that's what happened. Mrs. Seung: No. He left the gng. He had a job. Cho: Just because he told you he left the gng doesn't mean he did. Mrs. Seung: He wouldn't lie to me. Cho: Mrs. Seung, when I knew David, I heard him lie to you many times, about what he was doing, who he was with. The Oakland police will handle it, okay? Mrs. Seung: Please, Kimball. Won't you help? Cho: I'm sorry, Mrs. Seung. There's nothing I can do. Rigsby: So he was a friend of yours? Cho: It was a guy I used to know. Rigsby: Look, we'll cover for you if you want to take comp time to look into it. Van Pelt: Absolutely. Boss won't mind. Cho: I'm not getting involved. Van Pelt: But he was your friend. Cho: He was a gangbanger, Van Pelt. Bangers get sht. All right, he's not the first guy I used to know to get sht. He won't be the last. Jane: That's funny. Grandma out there seemed pretty certain he was no longer a gng member. Cho: She's wrong. Jane: She seemed pretty sharp. Maybe he got sht 'cause he was trying to leave the gng. That happens, doesn't it? Cho: Whatever. Oakland's got it. Jane: How much time is Oakland P. D. Gonna spend on a gangbanger? Cho: Not much. What's your point? Jane: Well, there must be someone that can tell us that he was or wasn't a member of the gng. I mean, just for kicks. Cho: No. Jane: Okay, then, uh, Just to... Soothe your troubled conscience. Jane and Cho head to his old neighborhood. Jane: So the mean streets, huh? Cho: Yep. Jane: Your old stomping ground. Cho: You could say that. Stole a car over there when I was 14. Jane: Yeah? Cho: Crashed it over there. Jane: Mm. Cho: Don't wander. Jane: No worries. They go into a pawn shop. Dawg: we're closed. Cho: Jon Jon. Jon Jon: Cho. Is that you for real? Cho: Yeah. Jon Jon: Man, I heard you was a cop. I said, no way. Dawg, this is Kimball Cho. Dawg: Yeah, I see him. Jon Jon: He's a Playboy from way back. Called him the "ice man." Jane: No. Jon Jon: Yeah, you wanted something done cold, you got Cho. Jane: Well, it's still the same. Jon Jon: Who are you? Jane: Uh. Patrick Jane. Nice to meet you. Great store. Uh, some kind of drug dealership is it, yeah? Dawg: Nah. Jane: You know, I read somewhere that— And this is very interesting— the average drug dealer would make a better wage serving burgers. Is that accurate, do you think? Jon Jon: There's chumps and there's players in any game, bro. Jane: I guess. Cho: Hey. You hear about David Seung? Jon Jon: Oh. Yeah. Cho: Any idea who klled him? Jon Jon: No. Cho: Was he rolling with you guys again? Is that what got him in trouble? Jon Jon: Why would I tell you anything? Cho: I just want to confirm it's a gng beef, and I'll leave it alone. Jon Jon: When David got out of prison, we asked him to put in some work, get him back in the groove, you know? He said no. He was quitting. He quit. Then about a month ago, he calls and he's all, "I need to talk to K. S. Direct, " like he had some kind of deal. So he's working with K. S. and not the gng? That's wrong. That's disrespect. You're in or you're out. Ain't no halfway. Right, ice man? Cho: What kind of deal? Jon Jon: Don't know. I do know K. S. Is seriously mad at you for what you did. Cho: Well, he should learn to let go. Thanks for your help. Jane: Oh, Jon Jon, um, these numbers mean anything to you? Jon Jon: no. Jane: You certain? Jon Jon: Yeah. Jane: You're absolutely certain? Jon Jon: What's with this guy? Jane: All right, we're going. You know, your obsession with eating is an infantile attempt of coping with the persistent anxiety you feel. Now if I may recommend something? A career change. It'll be very good for you. In the street Jane: Don't take this the wrong way, but, uh, who came up with "Avon Park Playboys"? I mean, it's not very tough. Cho: Yeah, that's funny. Let's go back to Sacramento. Jane: Ice man—um, I know where it comes from, but I just... just tell me you didn't come up with that, 'cause it's, uh, you can do better than the "ice man." (phone) Rigsby, what you got? Rigsby (phone): When David Seung got out of prison, he went to work for a janitorial services company based in Oakland. Jane: Rigsby found where David worked. Cho: Lisbon know he did that? Jane (phone): Got an address? Rigsby (phone): I'm working on it. It's just... Jane (phone): What about Seung's girlfriend? Rigsby (phone): Gimme a hint on the coin trick. Jane (phone): Occam's razor. Rigsby (phone): What razor? Jane: (phone) Bye. Let's go pay a visit to David's old boss. Cho: What's the point? He was a banger. Jane: So he had it coming? Cho: Yes. Jane: Let's go and see his boss, get a second opinion. And who's this "K. S., " by the way? Cho: He's a gng leader, bad guy. Jane: What'd you do to make him mad? Cho: I sht him. Jane: That'll do it. Jane and Cho talk to the janitorial boss. Boss: Yeah, I saw David last night. I was dropping off payroll when he was starting his shift. Cho: Did David ever mention anything about the Avon Park Playboys? Boss: His P. O. got him the interview. I knew about his past. Jane: Why'd you hire him? Boss: I don't mind hiring ex-cons. They just need a second chance. When they get one, they appreciate it. They're loyal. It keeps turnover down. Reed: Hey, you. Boss: Frank. Can I help you with something, Mr. Reed? Reed: Yeah, do your job. The third floor men's room's a disaster. Whole floor's starting to stink. Jane: Middle management. Reed: Excuse me? Jane: You catch more flies with honey— It's a sound business principle, obviously, one you never learned. Hence, uh, middle management. Have a nice day. He's gone. Boss: I started this business thinking it'd be nice not to have a boss. Truth is, I have dozens. Jane: Do you know what these mean? Boss: I have no idea. Jane: No idea at all? Boss: Uh... No. I-I don't know what else to tell you guys. Jane: No need. Cho: Thanks for your time. Boss: No problem. Good luck. CBI HQ Lisbon: Hey, guys. I got a call from Detective Florey with Oakland homicide. Did we decide to take over the David Seung case and nobody bothered to tell me? Because she's hearing from witnesses that you've talked to. Jane: Oh, uh, we're just, uh. Pursuing a little independent investigation. Lisbon: We don't do those. Cho: That's my bad. I was checking to see if David was still with the Playboys. Lisbon: Ballistics connected the gn used to kll him with another gng shting a year ago It was the . Jane: Great. Maybe we should go see this K. S. Character, huh? Or not. Elise's apartment Elise: So I told the professor that the evidentiary issues were secondary to the procedural question, and she looked at me and said, "hey, your hair's on fre." Hello? Cho: Sorry. I heard that. Elise: Hearing isn't the same as listening. Are you okay? Cho: Yeah. I'm fine. Elise: Kimball, you're talking even less than you normally do. What's on your mind? Cho: Nothing. Elise: Which means something, but you just don't want to talk about it, right? Cho: Right. Elise: Well... We don't have to talk. Cho: Thanks. They're starting to kiss on the couch when two masked men bust down the door. Man: On the floor! Man: On the floor! Cho: Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy! Man: Shut it! Man: Hey! Get down! Face down! Cho: Hey, you stay away from her! Man: Stay out of Playboy business! Help has arrived. Doctor: She's got some pretty bad bruising and lacerations, but she'll be okay. Cho: You'll be fine. Just hang in there. Elise: It hurts to talk. Are you okay? Cho: Yeah. Elise: Are you coming with me? Cho: I have some things to take care of first, okay? And then I'll come see you. Lisbon: We're taking over this case. We'll liaise with the Oakland P. D., but we're in charge. I'll look into suspects with the Playboys. Rigsby and Van Pelt will go and talk to the people at Seung's work. He was sht two blocks away from work. Maybe somebody saw something. Cho? Cho? Cho gets in his car and finds Jane in the passenger seat. Jane: Where we going? Cho's car Jane: Why did you sht K. S.? I mean, it's a gng. There's gotta be some kind of rules against that sort of thing. Cho: K. S. Wanted to do a home invasion. You go in, hold the family hostage and take all their cash. I wouldn't do it. K. S. wanted me on the job. We argued. He pulled his gn. I pulled mine faster, tagged him in the shoulder. Jane: Ouch. Cho: That's when I left the gng. Gave my gn to David. A couple of days later he boosted a car. They pulled him over, found the gn on him. With the possession charge, he got 15 years. Jane: And you felt responsible because it was your gn. Cho: No, I thought he was stupid to have it on him. Never should have done that. Jane: And then you joined the army? Cho: Enlisted two weeks later. I wanted to get as far away as I could. Told myself I'd never go back. Jane: Okay. Pawn shop Jane: Hey. How's business? Dawg: Jon Jon's gone. You want to talk, you go find him. Cho: Not looking for Jon Jon. Where's K. S.? Dawg: Where's K. S.? Jane: Uh, yeah, simple enough question, I thought. Dawg: Wh—were you serious? Cho: I need to talk to him. Where can I find him? Dawg: I don't talk to cops. Cho: I'm not a cop tonight. No badge. Now where is he? I'm not leaving until I get an answer from you. now I'm gonna ask you one more time where K. S. Is. You don't tell me, I'm gonna break your arm. You understand me? Dawg: Screw you, man. Jane: Let's just reconsider— Cho: shut up! Where's K. S.? I can do this all day. Where's K. S.?! Dawg: Aah! Okay. Okay, man. You're gonna break my arm. All right. CBI HQ Lisbon: Have either of you heard from Jane or Cho? I can't get them on the phone, and they won't return my messages. Rigsby: I don't know. Cho hasn't been to the hospital. I checked. Lisbon: Damn. Van Pelt: Boss, I went over the list of people working with David Seung the night he was klled. Four of them are working at the same job site today— a financial firm called Cedar Creek Equities. Lisbon: That's the place where Jane and Cho went to, right? Rigsby: Yeah. Lisbon: Go and talk to whoever's in charge. Set up interviews with anyone who worked with David Seung. And if you hear from either of them, call me. Cedar Creek Equities Van Pelt: What did he call it? Rigsby: Occam's razor. Van Pelt: What is it? Rigsby: I have to look it up. It's some logic thing. Basically it says you should avoid complexity when solving problems. Van Pelt: What does that have to do with flipping heads 20 times? Rigsby: I have no idea. Van Pelt: Hi. I'm agent Van Pelt. This is agent Rigsby. We're from CBI. Secretary: What, did something happen? Van Pelt: No. But we need to speak with the director of operations, Adam Reed. Is he in? Secretary: Not right now. Um, would you like to leave a message? Rigsby: We need to talk to him as soon as possible. Is he in the building? Secretary: Sure. Um, but he could be anywhere, and I don't know when he'll be back. Rigsby: Then maybe you could call him and ask him to come back? Secretary: Right. I guess I could do that. Van Pelt: Bad cold? Secretary: Hmm? oh, it's allergies. I, you know, they drive me crazy. K. S.'s house Jane: That's K. S.'s house? Cho: I'm going in. You stay here. Don't move. Jane: I'm not going anywhere. Cedar Creek Equities Rigsby: We're looking into the mrder of one of your employees, David Seung. Reed: Yeah. That was shocking. I saw him around the office occasionally, and we didn't have any real interaction. I don't, uh, hang out in the men's room checking out the paper products, so... Van Pelt: You ever see any arguments between Seung and coworkers? Reed: Not with staff. Cleaning crew? I don't know. You'd have to ask them. Rigsby: And where could we find them? Reed: Downstairs. But, uh, my girl Crystal can help you out with that one. Crystal! Crystal: Yes, Mr. Reed? Reed: Yeah, could you please take these agents downstairs and let 'em talk to all the janitors? Crystal: sure. Reed: And on your way back up, could you please get me a decent cup of coffee? Crystal: Yes, sir. Reed: Thank you. Rigsby: Thanks for your time. Reed: You bet. Van Pelt: Thanks. K. S.'s house Man: What are you doing? hey, you gonna sht that? Cho: Nobody move. Hands where I can see them. K. S.: Cho. Cho: K. S. It's been a while. K. S.: What are you doing here, man? Cho: We need to talk. K. S.: Got nothing to say to you. Cho: I'm not asking you. In there. Move. Move. Go on. Go on. (Cho pulls K. S. into the kitchen)I'll sht anyone who comes through that door. K. S.: What is this? Cho: Did you kll David Seung? K. S.: Who? aah! Good to see you, too, bro. Haven't changed much. Cho: Someone came to my house, hurt my girlfriend, told me to stay out of Playboy business. K. S.: That's good advice. Cho: You still mad I sht you, huh? K. S.: Not mad. Determined. Cho: I'll sht you again if you want. Just keep talking without telling me what I want to know. K. S.: You're not going to sht me. Cho: Try me. K. S.: You're a cop. You'll do what the man says. Cho: I'll do what needs to be done. You know that. K. S.: I didn't put the bat down on your girlfriend. I didn't kll David. Okay? David came to me a month ago, wanted to buy some coke, 5 large. I hooked him up. That's all I did with him. Cho: What were you arguing about? K. S.: That much weight wasn't just for him. I figured he was selling. Cho: You told him to cut you in. K. S.: Yeah. But he wasn't down for that, said it was a onetime thing and no more. Cho: You're lying. I'm taking you in. Get up. K. S.: Not going to a good place, Cho. Cho: Shut up. Get the door. Move. The living room, K. S.'s guys have Jane at gn. Jane: Hi. You must be K. S. Very nice to meet you. Man: Let him go. Cho: Put your gn down, and I'll let him go. Man: No way. You. K. S.: What's it gonna be, Cho? It's on you. Jane: Well, let's just take a breath, think about what we want. You don't really want to sht me. Man: No? Jane: No My friend and I are cops. No matter how crazy and tough you are, everyone knows what happens when you kll a cop. If you're lucky, you spend the rest of your life in prison. If you're lucky. Cho. You don't want to sh*t K. S. You do, you'll never find out if he klled David. You'll destroy your career so let's just embrace this moment and think... About what we want... And just relax. Just... Loosen up and relax. Oh, yeah. That feels so much better. K. S.: Get out. Now. Jane: Thank you Uh, actually, I— whoa. Whoa. It's okay. Just... Don't sh*t. Just a plastic bag. Nothing to it. These numbers— they mean anything to you? K. S.: You are one strange freak, man. Jane: Okay. Well, I'll take that as a no. Bar Cho: We should arrest K. S. And bring him in. There's plenty to hold him on. Jane: Ah, he'd come in surrounded by lawyers. It's not his first time in an interrogation room. Besides, I think he's clean for this. Cho: Clean? How? Jane: Well, he told you that he sold the drugs to David. Wh-why would he do that? Why would he kll him? What's the motive? They are joined by Rigsby. Rigsby: Hey. Wow, that looks good. Jane: Lighter than air. Mmm. Cho: Why'd you call him? Jane: Oh, um, you're an unreliable partner. I nearly got sht. Cho: Look, if David was selling, he was using. If he was using, he could have screwed up with K. S. A thousand ways. Rigsby: Seung wasn't using. His tox screen came back clean. Just got the report. No drugs. Jane: See? Cho: Well, then K. S. klled him for another reason. Jane: Too complicated. Occam's razor says the simplest solution to a problem is usually the correct one. Right? Rigsby: Right. Jane: Right. So if I flip a coin, and I get heads 20 times in a row, yes, I could have rigged the coin. But if the simple answer is the right one... Two coins. A 2-headed version to flip... And a real coin to show you, my friend. Rigsby: I knew it. Cho: What's that got to do with David? Jane: David bought $5,000 worth of cocaine. He didn't sell and he wasn't using. Think simple. Who got the drugs? Cedar Creek Equities The secretary stepping into the ladies room for a midday snort. Van Pelt: Hi, Crystal. What you got there? CBI Lisbon: Where did you get the drugs. Crystal, this is a homicide investigation. Give us a name. Was it David Seung? Crystal: Yes. Yes, it was David Seung. He gave me the drugs. Lisbon: No. No, you jumped at that a little too eagerly. It's not a good idea to lie to us, Crystal. Crystal: I can't tell. He'll hurt me. Van Pelt: Okay. Has he hurt you before now? Lisbon: How? Crystal: Um... He likes to get high and bat me and then have sex. Van Pelt: Crystal, that's sexual asault. Lisbon: He somebody you work with? Van Pelt: Crystal, if you tell us his name, he won't hurt you again. Crystal: Adam Reed. Van Pelt: Okay. And did Adam get the drugs from David Seung? Crystal: Yeah. Yes. Lisbon: How? Crystal: Adam caught David stealing a laptop, and he knew that David had gng connections, so he figured he would know people who had access to good coke. Adam told David he would turn him in unless he got us the drugs. Lisbon: Adam Reed blackmailed David into giving him the drugs? Crystal: Yes. Van Pelt: Thank you, Crystal. Jane arrives. Jane: That was lovely. Thank you, Crystal. Do you know what these mean? Crystal: Uh... I—where did— how'd you get those? Cedar Creek Equities Reed is doing lines with a woman in a conference room one for me. Reed: One for you. Two for me... Cho: Oh. lady, if you don't want to go to jail, leave now. Reed: What's going on, fellas? What the hell is this? 'cause first of all, that's not mine. She brought that in here. It has nothing to do with me. Rigsby: Let me see your hands. Come on. Let's go. I don't care about that. Sit down. Jane: Oh, you're a true renaissance man, aren't you? Businessman, drug dealer, blackmailer, sex abuser. Reed: You talkin' to Crystal? Jane: Huh? Reed: The crazy cokehead?You can't believe a word she says. Cho: Ow! Don't mess with us. Reed: Okay. Jane: Then there's the shting of David Seung. Reed: I had nothing to do with that. Jane: We think you did. You know what these are? 'cause I do. These are passwords to financial accounts of some of the firm's wealthiest clients. David Seung was stealing these when he was klled. The drug buy— that was just a warm-up. This is what you really wanted him to do, wasn't it? You wanted him to steal these account numbers so that you could sell them. But something went wrong, and you sht him, didn't you? Reed: You people are insane. I had nothing to do with that! Cho: You did. Then you broke into my house and you bat on my girlfriend and threw the blame on K. S. and the Playboys, right? Reed: No. I didn't—ow! Cho: where's the gn, Adam? Reed: what gn? I don't— Man, I want my lawyer right now! Rigsby: hey, Cho! Cho: Where's the gn, Adam? Reed: What gn? Aah! Cho: The gn you used to kll David. Reed: That's crazy. Man, I want my lawyer right now. Rigsby: Hey, Cho, you gotta take it down a notch. We can take him back to the office, okay? Cho: We need him to confess. He has to tell us where the gn is. If we don't have the gn, he's gonna walk. Jane: We'll get there. Rigsby: Cho, it'll be fine. Cho: Now you got cuts and bruises on your knuckles. You get those when you ht somebody. You went to my girlfriend's apartment. You punched her in the face until she bled. And you klled my friend David. Admit it. Reed: That's from something else. Cho: Admit it! Reed: I did! I-I bought drugs from David Seung. I-I admit that. So? The rest of this—I don't know what you're talking about. Cho: Last chance. You klled David and you hid the gn. Where? Reed: I don't know. Cho: Too bad. Cho marches him out of the conference room, blocking Jane and Rigsby inside. Reed: aah! where are we going? Where are we gonna go? Cho: Shut up. Reed: hey! Hey! Where are you taking me? Rigsby: Cho! Open up! Jane: Cho! Open up! Cho! Rigsby: Cho, come on! Cho Come on, man. Open the door! Jane: Hello?! hello?! Hey! Open the door! Cho! David's janitor boss Frank arrives. Jane: Hey! Hey! Somebody! Hey! Hey! Open up. Come on. Open it up! Out in the hallway Frank hears them. Rigsby: Hi. Jane: Thank you. Thank you. Do you know which way they went? Boss: They went that way. Jane: Left or right? Boss: Left. Yeah, that way. Jane: Thank you! Outside in the parking lot Cho: You should use this as a learning experience. Reed: what? No. Please don't. Please! Cho knocks Reed to the ground and pulls out a gn. He looks around and from inside we hear gn shts. Cho! Jane: Ohh. Rigsby: Hey! Come on! Jane: Quick! Key! You got a key? Quick. Go. Frank follows Jane and Rigsby, unlocking doors for them. Rigsby: Oh, crap! Outside they find Cho standing over Reed, who has blood all over his shirt. Rigsby: Oh, hell. Cho! Jane: Is he dad? Cho: Yes. He wouldn't talk. Jane: Oh, no. This is not good, Cho. You're out of control. Cho: He made me mad. And you—you stay right where you are. Rigsby, put the body in the car. Oh. Rigsby, put the body in the car! Rigsby: Right. Yeah. F-fine. Frank: I—listen. I won't tell anybody about this. Cho: Be quiet! I'm thinking! Jane: Oh, what's to think about? He didn't confess. If he was guilty, he would have talked. Cho: I guess. Jane: What do you think, Frank? Frank: I don't—I don't know anything about it. Jane: Really? Well, that's odd, 'cause... I think you lied about knowing these numbers. Frank: No, you're—you're wrong. Jane: All those days cleaning the bathroom, picking up the trash... It must feel pretty good getting rich off their accounts. Frank: I didn't do that. Cho: What's with the gloves, Frank? Frank: They're work gloves. Cho: You're not working now. Take them off. Go on. Is there some reason you won't take them off? Frank: No. Cho: Maybe you got some cuts and bruises on them. Jane: S-slow down. This doesn't have to end the same way. Frank, just tell us. Tell us the truth. Frank: I don't know what you're talking about. Jane: You sht David Seung. Frank: No, I didn't! Jane: You said you were dropping off the payroll the night that he was klled. You lied to us. You saw what happened to him. I am trying to help you here. Cho: Show me your hands. Frank: No. Cho: So Jane's right. It was you. Frank: No! Cho: Oh, Frank. Frank, don't make me kll you, too. Now you tell me the truth. You tell me the truth, and I won't hurt you. (Cho points the gn at him.) Frank: I-I-I-I'm not... Stop! Aah! Stop! I confess! I klled David! Don't let him sht me! Please. Please. Jane: Tell the truth. Cho: He'll deny it later. Frank: No! No! I-I-I-I broke into your girlfriend's apartment! I cuffed you! I made you watch! Look. See? See my hands? Cho: Where's the gn? Frank: In the storm drain out front. Jane: It's okay. I believe him. I believe him. Rigsby. Rigsby: Wait. Rigsby brings a very much alive Adam Reed from the truck. Frank: You—you klled him. Jane: ah, nope. Cho, he's confessed. You won. You won. You don't have to hurt him You don't have to hurt him. Cho: You're right. Jane: It's okay. CBI HQ Lisbon: We found the gn. Ballistics are a match. Jane: You didn't hire David to give him a second chance. You hired him to steal for you. He was lifting laptops and data. All you had to do was thrat to violate his parole. Lisbon: Why kll him? He was stealing for you. Frank: He said he was gonna quit. He didn't want any of it. Said he just wanted to live his life. I thought he was gonna tell the cops. Cho: The other gn that was with you when you broke in on me— Who is he? Frank: Tony Wade. He works for me. Lisbon: We're done here. Jane: Okay. Lisbon: Come on. Cho: Mr. Reed, I apologize for accusing you of several crimes I knew you had not committed and for asault you repeatedly. Reed: That's it? Jane: Yes, that's it. I thought that was very good. Lawyer: It's incredible. Absolutely incredible. This case won't last 30 seconds in a court. The lawsuits, however, will last for a very long time. Come on, Adam. Let's get out of here. Agent Cho, you've made my client a rich man. Lisbon: One more thing. Lawyer: What's that? Lisbon: We have testimony from Crystal Hargrave that will lead to Mr. Reed being charged with several felonies. They include narcotics trffick, extortion, sexual harassment— Lawyer: Never be admitted. Fruit of the poisonous tree. Lisbon: Not even from the same forest. Our d. A. is willing to talk a deal with Mr. Reed in the interest of mending fences, if he's interested in mending fences with us. Lawyer: We'll speak to the d. A. Lisbon: Good. Back home, Cho checks on his girlfriend. Then he goes to see David Seung's grandmother. Cho: Mrs. Seung. May I come in? Thank you. When I heard David had been klled, I assumed it was because of the mistakes he made, because he hadn't changed his ways. Mrs. Seung: Yes? Cho: I was wrong. You were right. David had changed. David called me... To ask for my help. But I never called him back. When I learned he'd been k*lled, I didn't want to admit that maybe he'd turned his life around, because that would mean admitting that I let him down.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x14 - Blood In, Blood Out"}	foreverdreaming
Westing Resort, Napa Valley A cooking competition takes place at a fancy resort. Host: Welcome to the 23rd annual Westing Resort best chef challenge. I'm Bertram Duesterberg, your host. Our competing chefs today are— - First, from restaurant 182 in Sonoma... [In the kitchen - Salt! Host: the youngest winner ever of the Schilling palm d'cuisine, chef Hannah Diaz. From San Francisco, where they host the acclaimed public radio show "Two top, " chefs Arliss and Julia St. Germain. [In the kitchen - Hurry up, people. Woman: Jeff, do you want the mousse? Jeff? Yeah, yeah.] Host: Trained in Paris, he is executive chef at la petite maison, Chef Adrien Ludo! [In the kitchen - Where's my chives? Let's go, people! Host: And first up before our judges today... [In the kitchen - Okay, let's move! Come on, go, go! Hurry up, people. Host: Jeffrey Barge. Jeffrey: Thank you. My... My first... dish today... is... Is, uh... He collapses on the floor. Host: Is there a doctor in house, please? Hannah: Somebody call 9-1-1! Jeffrey! Jeffrey! Somebody! Jeffrey, say something! Julia: Can you hear me? Jeffrey? Host: Doctor, he's not moving. Enter the CBI. Lisbon: Anything from the deputy coroner? Rigsby: Just that he can't tell us anything yet. Lisbon: Tell him we need to know. If this guy died of natural causes, we're going home. Jane: Why so grumpy? Lisbon: I'm not. Rigsby: Why are we here? We don't even know if it's a mrder. Lisbon: One of the chefs called her daddy who's a state senator, who called the AG, who called the assistant AG, who called me. So we're here. I hate politics. Cho: This might go quick. Victim had a fistfight with the event organizer. Jane: Happy days. Bertram: I want to be very clear. What happened was sheerest accident. I did nothing wrong. Lisbon: Let's just stick to the facts, Mr. Duesterberg. You said you had a fight with the victim. About what? Bertram: Truffles. Lisbon: Truffles? Jane: Yes. They— they're very pricey fungus. Lisbon: I know what a truffle is. Bertram: Uh, Jeffrey ordered a bundle and he paid for them himself. A few hours before the competition, he couldn't find them. He demanded replacements, which would have cost thousands. I said no. He started yelling and then shoving. Naturally, I defended myself. Jane: Very gently, of course. Lisbon: And then he... fell on his head? Something like that? Bertram: It's as I said it wa— it was an accident. Lisbon: Oh, we'll see. Jane: Jeffrey sounds like a scrapper. Quick with his fists? Bertram: No, not really. He was— he was a genius. Genius can be noisy. But he— he's never laid hands on me before. Jane: Genius, really? Hmm. Rigsby arrives with a dish. Rigsby: Hey, is he good for it? Cho: Not sure yet. What's that? Rigsby: I don't know. Some hors d'oeuvre thing they're handing out. Want one? Cho: No, thanks. I don't eat anything I can't identify. Jane: Excuse me. Is this the victim's dish? Bertram: Yes. Jane: Mmm. Mnh-mnh. Excuse me. Pardon. No genius there. Way too much salt. Hmm. Dr. Steiner. Long time. New threads. Sharp. Dr. Steiner: Yes. The move from Sacramento has been quite pleasant. Fine wine, lovely weather, no Patrick Jane... Or so I hoped. Jane: Cheeky. Have you checked his mouth? Dr. Steiner: For a possible head injury? I don't think so. Jane: Don't be alarmed, I am going to touch you. Dr. Steiner: Mr. Jane, please, I am in the— Jane: Yuck. Lisbon! Lisbon: Excuse me. Dr. Steiner: What— what made you think to look there? Jane: Well, bad-tasting food means bad taste buds. Lisbon: So much for the head wound. Duesterberg's off the hook. He didn't die from a fall. Let's huddle together, divvy up the interviews. Cho: What did kll him? Jane: Poison. Later, Westing Resort Lisbon: Deputy coroner says that the poison is probably ricin. Victim either ate it or drank it. Rigsby: Well, it makes sense. If it was airborne, people would be dropping like flies. Cho: And ricin's easy enough to make. Grind up some castor beans. Makes for a broad suspect pool. Lisbon: They tested the victim's food. There's no sign of it there or in the kitchen. Rigsby: And ricin takes hours to work. Must've been something he ingested a while ago. Lisbon: No need to get your stomach pumped then, huh? Rigsby: Ha, funny. Lisbon: You search the room. Test any liquid or food that you find. Rigsby: Yeah, you got it. Cho: Thanks. The victim's wife just arrived. Lisbon: I'll handle it. You talk to the other chefs. Duesterberg says that the winner of the contest gets 100 grand. [Cho leaves ans Jane arrives.] Lisbon: What are you doing? Jane: Oh, um... Trying to get the taste of salty food out of my mouth. Pot de creme. It's basically a pretentious chocolate pudding. Very nice. You want some? Lisbon: No. We have to go and talk to the victim's wife. Jane: Mmm. Well, maybe she'll want some. Comfort food. Cho talks to the other chefs in the kitchen. Arliss: Jeffrey was a dear friend. We'd known each other for years. Julia: Which is why I had my father bring you on. Cho: We want to find out who did this. Interesting that you called us in before anyone knew it was poison. You know something everyone else didn't? Julia: No, I just knew that something was wrong. Cho: Now you're all in competition for a large cash prize. Helps that one of you is dad, doesn't it? Julia: Helps? Arliss: We eat together. We work together. We're comrades. Cho: Something to add, Miss Diaz? Hannah: Dude, if we're all such comrades, why'd you try and steal Jeff's sous-chef? Arliss: Not true. Inquiries were made, that's all. Hannah: Yeah, right. Cho: How'd you feel about the victim? Hannah: I hated his guts. Egotistical, manipulative, maybe half as good as he thought he was. Julia: Which would still make him twice the chef that you are. Why don't you go get another tatoo? Hannah: Bite me, Julia. Cho: The delivery guy says he left Jeffrey's truffles on his station this morning, then they vanished. So who stole the truffles? Adrien: Well, stealing truffles makes one of us a mrder? Cho: It's a start. Adrien: Oh. What? Julia: That is exactly the kind of thing that he would do. Arliss: He and Jeffrey never really got along. Adrien: You fat bastard. Cho: And truffles are very expensive, aren't they? And you wouldn't throw them out. Where does he keep his food? Julia: Down on the left side of the pantry. Adrien: You know who would stop at nothing to win? Those two. Ask them about the book deal they've been chasing. A competition prize would help that, no? Ah, truffles. Okay, fine. Arrest me. But I didn't steal the truffles, okay? I rescued them from a terrible, terrible fate. Cho: I see. Lisbon and Jane talk to Barge's wife, Abigail. Lisbon: Did Jeffrey have any problems that you knew about, personally or at work? Abigail: Well, um... We were a problem. We're separated. I haven't spoken to Jeffrey in months. Lisbon: What was the breakup about? Abigail: Oh, god, what wasn't? Um... drinking, mostly. Jane: Occupational disease for chefs. It's the pressure. It wants a release. Abigail: That, and, um— They're interrupted. Kevin: Don't listen to her, whatever she says. She hates Jeff. Lisbon: And you are? Jane: Victim's brother. Cheekbones. Come on. You can see that. Abigail: Uh, Kevin, why don't we talk later? Kevin: Yeah, I-I don't think so, Abigail. My brother was a freakin' genius, all right? You think anybody in my family taught him how to cook? Please. He wanted to be a great chef, and that's what he was. Did it all by himself. And you? You were perfectly happy to spend his money, weren't you, Abigail? Jane: Your brother was a great man. He elevated himself, didn't he? But you didn't. That must've been cause for some friction, I would think. Did he leave you anything— your brother? Or did he leave it all to the hated sister-in-law? The money, the restaurant— Kevin: Why don't you step back? Abigail: Kevin, that's enough, all right? Kevin: No, you don't tell me what to do, okay? Abigail: As you can see, drinking— it runs in the family. Kevin: Oh, s-see, that's how wrong you are, actually. Jeff was sober. He was in the program for two weeks. Abigail: Right. I've heard that before. It's probably why he called. Lisbon: You said you hadn't talked to him. Abigail: I- I didn't talk. Jane: Whoa. Two weeks sober. That's impressive. And what else are you hiding from us? Abigail: Look, he called last night at 12:30. I hung up. Lisbon: What'd he say? Abigail: He said... He said he was sorry. In the victim's room. Jane: Hey. Rigsby: Test for ricin. "Yellow" means positive, "Nothing" means... Nothing. Jane: This place is quite a mess. Rigsby: What do you think the intruder wanted? Jane: Nobody was looking for anything. Jeffrey did this himself. Rigsby: And you know this, how? Jane: The punched-in mirror is an act of self-hatred. Plus, all these drawers are closed. A thoughtful ransacker would close maybe one, but all of them? No. Rigsby: Anyway... Room's eared. No poison. We're moving on. That's nice. Except you're not. What's up? Jane: Well, Jeffrey was recently sober, but acting erratically. Demolishing his room, picking fistfights, calling his estranged wife in the middle of the night— You know what that's called? Rigsby: Relapse? Jane: Yes. And an addict on a relapse will hide his stash. Ah. What better way to poison a drunk than through his drink? Rigsby: Let's check it out. Jane: Let's. Rigsby: There we go. Jane: Hold the applause. Rigsby: Bingo. Westing resort Jane shows the chefs the poisoned gin. Jane: Poison gin. A smart way to eliminate a rival. But not the act of a gentleman, is it... monsieur Ludo? Adrien: Are you joking? Jane: Rigsby, take him in. Adrien: This is not right. I have done nothing. I have done nothing. Jane: Hang on. Come on, let's— she's the one we need to talk to. Hannah: Me? Wh— Jane: You should've seen your reaction when I accused Ludo— Pure relief. Oh, come on, please. At least attempt denying it. Hannah: I didn't do it. Jane: She's the one. Thank you. Merci. CBI HQ Cho interrogates Hannah. Hannah: Why would I want to kll Jeffrey? Cho: Winning a contest like this would do a lot for a young woman trying to prove herself. Hannah: I don't have anything to prove. Cho: You're a good cook. Making ricin out of castor beans wouldn't be hard, would it? Hannah: No. But I didn't. Cho: Take a look at this Hannah. That's your credit card statement. You bought gin. Hannah: I'm over 21. It's not a crime. Cho: You just happened to buy yourself the same type of gin we found in the victim's room? Hannah: Look, can I go or what? I— Cho: Hannah, we have enough to charge you with mrder right now. You need to talk to us, tell us your side of the story. Hannah: I'm 28. I run my own kitchen. I don't have any... food channel connections, no cookbook with my name on it. The westing is my way up. Jeffrey was the one to bat. We all knew it. So I figured... Get him a drink. Why not? Level the playing field. So, yeah, I bought him the gin. But I have no idea how the ricin got in there. Cho: Okay. Hannah: I just tried to get him drunk, that's all. No poison. Lisbon: Without anything else, we can't hold her. What do you got? Van Pelt: Jeffrey's phone records. Confirmed the call with his wife. Lisbon: How long did they talk? Van Pelt: About five seconds. Guess she did hang up. But there's a second call at 2:00 a. m. That one lasted over an hour. Lisbon: Who'd he call? Van Pelt: His restaurant. Jeff's restaurant Lisbon: Miss Barge, you have a minute? Abigail: Yeah, sure. What's up? Jane: Money troubles? Abigail: How'd you guess? Jane: Well, it's a restaurant. They always have money troubles. Abigail: Well, this restaurant's drowning in debt. Jeffrey was driving this place off a cliff. Eliza: It was all about the food. Abigail: This is Eliza Greene— Jeffrey's sous-chef. She's keeping things afloat while I get my bearings... Now that I own a failing restaurant. Eliza: Oh, sorry. Um, people would say that the place is failing, and, uh, Jeffrey would say, "Yes, but failing with style." Jane: Eliza, you're the one the others wanted to hire. You must be very good. Eliza: I guess. I wouldn't know. Jane: False modesty? Lisbon: Jeffrey called the restaurant last night at 2:00 a. m. Do you know who he spoke to? Eliza: Me. Oh, uh, he was considering changing the menu for the contest, wanted to talk about it. Lisbon: Couldn't that have waited till the morning? Eliza: That was just Jeff being Jeff. He was always after perfection. Jane: Irritating, getting a phone call like that when you're on your way home from work, isn't it? Eliza: Not at all. If you want to make something great, that's the job. Abigail: You know, you should really get these, uh, deposits posted, or the checks are gonna bounce. Lisbon: Thanks for your time. Jane: Thank you. Abigail: Night. Jane: Bye. Outside Lisbon: Where are my keys? You picked my pocket? Jane: My turn to drive. Lisbon: Jane! Jane: Oh, don't be such an old lady. Get in. Your fears are groundless. Lisbon: You're right. The car has air bags. Jane and Lisbon are in their car when they see Eliza leave the restaurant with the nightly deposits. Then a man with a mask knocks her down and grabs the bag and takes off running. He runs down the sidewalk next to their car. Jane: Oh, no. Oh, bad move. Oh. Lisbon takes him out with a well-opened car door. Lisbon: The victim's brother? Jane: Kevin. Oh, I can't tell you how happy I am that wasn't my car. CBI HQ Kevin: You're out of your freakin' mind. I would never, ever harm my brother, ever. Lisbon: You asault and robbed a girl, Kevin, who ran your brother's restaurant. You don't think that makes you a little suspicious? Kevin: That had nothing to do with what happened to Jeff. Lisbon: I don't believe you. Kevin: I can tell you why I went after the money, all right, but I'm gonna need some guarantees. Lisbon: Oh, so we're negotiating now, are we? Kevin: I have valuable information. I can help you solve Jeff's mrder. Lisbon: But you're not gonna tell us anything unless we cut you a deal? We're talking about your brother here, Kevin. That's pretty low. You know what? You're going to jail. You'll have plenty of time to think about how you could've done things differently. Kevin: Wait. Sean Horlick. Jeff owed him money. He needed it for the restaurant. Guy's a loan shark. I actually put them in touch five months ago. I get a call yesterday from Horlick, and he says unless I want to end up like Jeff, I'd better get him the money he owed. Lisbon: So you rob your dad brother's wife? Kevin: She was always trying to turn Jeff against me. Said I was a bad influence or somethin'. Lisbon: Imagine that, huh? Crazy. Kevin: I knew their deposit schedule, and they don't keep a gn. I figured she screwed me before, I screw her back. Lisbon: Sean Horlick. What else do you know about him? Van Pelt: Fraud, racketeering, extortion, couple of violent crimes sprinkled in. Charges never seem to stick. Horlick's smart. Lisbon: Track him down. Take Rigsby. Van Pelt: Okay. Lisbon: Cho, look into Jeffrey's restaurant— The financial records, see who else he owed money to. Jane: I'll come with. I'm a mite peckish. Cho: What does that mean? Jane: It means I'm hungry. Jane, Cho and Rigsby go to Jeff's restaurant. Cho looks over the books. Cho: I can't read this. No? Eliza: Oh, that says, "March '09 accounts payable." Jane tries Eliza's food. Jane: Oh! Hmm? This— this is just ridiculous. This is delicious. Eliza: Thank you. Let's hope you can keep the quality up wth the new boss. Abigail seems more concerned about the money than the menu. Jane: Won't be a problem, I promise. Eliza tries a new dish. Eliza: For god's sake. Did you try this? Jane: You don't like Abigail much, do you? Eliza: Do it over. Jane: You're obviously very talented. You should've struck out on your own a long time ago, unless there was some reason to stay. Eliza: I did try to strike out on my own, actually, couple months ago. Jane: Failed with style? Eliza: I wish. State wouldn't grant me my liquor license. No license, no investors, so... Luckily, Jeffrey took me back again. Jane: So why not hook up with him? He was separated, available. Eliza: I've never liked waiting in lines. Excuse me. I've got prep work to do. Jane: Thanks for lunch. Eliza: Uh-huh. Cho: I didn't see any other loans on the books. It's a good thing. Jeffrey wasn't even taking a salary the last few months. Jane: He wasn't? Hmm. We're gonna have to make a stop on the way back. Van Pelt and Rigsby visit Horlick at his medical marijuana dispensary. Rigsby: Huh. Magic brownies. Van Pelt: This is more... clean-cut than I'd expected. Rigsby: Yeah, medical pot— it's a growth industry. Salesperson: First timers, huh? I'll tell you the same thing I tell all the newbies— Go for today's specials. Sure, they're a couple bucks more, but between you and me and the wall, it's the freshest herb we got. Plus it's locally grown. Who doesn't wanna support local formers? Van Pelt: CBI. Where's your boss? Salesperson: Uh... Mr. Horlick? I couldn't say. But, uh, our permits are all up to date by the book, 100%. Rigsby: Well, Mr. Horlick's a suspect in a mrder investigation, Josh, so you if you know where he is, you should tell us right now. Sean: Is, uh, there a problem here? Rigsby: We're here about Jeffrey Barge. Sean: Who? Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Jeff. Sure. Sure. What about him? Rigsby: Jeffrey died yesterday. Sean: Yeah. Yeah, I know. I saw that on the news. Wow. Heavy. I mean, boom, he's here. He's gone. And how about that? Life, huh? Van Pelt: We know you lent him money, Mr. Horlick. Sean: Well, how do you know that? I mean, who says? Van Pelt: I'll take that as a "Yes." Sean: Frosty one, aren't we? I like it. Rigsby: You like jail, too? Yeah, that's right. Kevin told us everything. It's about time you did as well. Sean: Fine. I called him about the money. Obviously, he drew some sinister and incorrect implications brom our conversation, but it was all a big misunderstanding. Chalk it up to my— my poor communication skills. Van Pelt: I think you communicate very well. Rigsby: Yes, you do. You have "sleazebag" written across your forehead in big letters. Sean: Why would I kll Jeff? You don't off someone who can pay you back. I mean, the guy practically lived at the Ritz. Rigsby: What are you talking about? Jeff was broke. Sean: Yeah, that's what he wanted me to think, too. But I got a buddy who works security at the hotel. He saw the deadbeat staying there a bunch of times. You don't stay there unless your pockets are padded. I'd like to take you sometime, thaw you out a little bit. Van Pelt: Yeah, that'll happen. CBI HQ Van Pelt: We got something. Rigsby: Jeffrey stayed at the Ritz over a dozen times in the past two months, paid in cash every time. Lisbon: Looks like an affair. But Jeffrey and his wife lived separate lives. Why would he care if there was a record of it? Van Pelt: Maybe his partner cared. Lisbon: Because she's married. Rigsby: She had the money. She paid for the room, but she paid in cash so her husband wouldn't find out. Lisbon: Keep digging. Find out who the woman was. Westing resort Back at the competition, Jane wanders around the kitchen bothering the chefs. Jane: Mmm. Next round's tomorrow, huh? Keep workin'. You'll get there. Adrien: Merci beaucoup. Jane: Careful, careful. Oh, that smells good. What is that? Julia: Knock yourself out. It's not for the competition. It's my lunch. Arliss: I'd advise against that. Julia: Don't listen to him. He's a coward. Jane: Is he? Julia: It's the Red Savina pepper. It's kinda spicy. Arliss: Kind of? It's the hottest pepper known to man. Trust me. Leave it alone. Julia: It's good on everything— meat, fruit, soups. Not that any of the people would know. Babies. Jane: Well, I'd love a little try of that. Thank you— Bertram: Mr. Jane, our chefs are extremely busy. Would you mind coming back another time? Jane: You're quite the ghoul, aren't you, Duesterberg? Dragging on this meaningless contest after a man has been klled. Bertram: This contest, Mr. Jane, is an affirmation of life. It's a testament that appetite still exists, even in the face of death. Jane: And you need the money. Bertram: Time for you to go. Jane: Fine. I have all the information I need, thank you very much. Adrien: He lies. He hasn't asked one single question. Jane: Why would I? I can learn everything I need to learn from watching you all cook. You, for example, use lemon to the point of excess— Tart, aggressive flavors, sublimated agression toward an important figure in your life. Obviously, you're a daddy's girl, so I'm gonna go with mother. No, let me correct that... stepmother. Ludo! You were adopted... no? Adrien: No. I wasn't. Jane: Took a sht. Moving on. You were having an affair with Jeffrey. Weren't you? Julia: What? Bertram: You can tell all this by the food? Jane: Well, they cooked together every day, yet their kitchen rhythms are off. They're bashing into each other, getting in each other's way. You're not paying enough attention to her, Arliss. No wonder she strayed. Arliss: That's nonsense. Jane: Really? Then why did your wife have her father put the state's best police force on this case? Look at her, Arliss. She's made no attempt— no attempt at all to deny it. Arliss: Is it true? Rigsby arrives. Rigsby: So I take it you know about Julia's affair with the victim now. Jane: Oh, roger that. CBI HQ Julia: Jeff and I got together about five months ago, after he separated from his wife. Jane: But he ended it. Julia: Yes. Lisbon: When? Julia: The night before he died. I went to his room at the resort. He was drunk. I thought he was trying to get sober, but I guess not that night. Jeff didn't handle stress well. Lisbon: Must have made you angry. Julia: No. I accepted it. I loved him. But he was a drunk. Better left alone. Lisbon: Wise of you. Julia: I asked for a glass of water. Lisbon: I'm sure it'll be here in a minute. Julia: You think I'm entitled and snippy and rich. My father's a senator. I don't have to take crap from people like you. Lisbon: I'm just trying to figure out who klled Jeffrey Barge, that's all. Julia: I didn't kll him. Lisbon: I don't believe you, Julia, not yet. Julia: I really need that glass of water. Jane: I'll get it. Lisbon: We still have a few more questions for you. Jane: Lisbon! 9-1-1. Lisbon: Julia? Julia? Julia. Can you hear me? Are you on medication? Jane: Come on. Answer. Lisbon: Julia? Lisbon nervously straightens her desk while on the phone with someone. Lisbon [phone]: Yes. Uh-huh. I know. Yes. Mr. Attorney general, sir, I... I-I understand completely. I will. Rigsby: She's straightening. She's straightening her desk. Lisbon [phone]: Absolutely. Van Pelt: Coroner's office says it was ricin poisoning, uh, just like Jeffrey. Guess they were both poisoned at the hotel. Oh, crap. Is she straightening? Rigsby: Victim was a senator's daughter. AG must be livid. Van Pelt: Ugh. It's not our fault. Ricin takes hours to kick in. Rigsby: Yeah, tell it to the AG. Van Pelt: What's going on with the search? Cho: Local sheriff's working on it, taking every food and liquid off the resort to be tested. Rigsby: Resort, the contest— it's all been shut down. Lisbon: News flash— the AG wants this case closed now. Well, we've got two dad married lovers. Cho: I'd say the kller's a spouse. Lisbon: Let's start with that. Cho and Rigsby go talk to Julia's widow, Arliss. Cho: There he is. Arliss: [phone] Cinnamon, sage and coriander, a squeeze of lemon, then butter. No, no garlic. Not at all. Ciao. Idiot. Rigsby: Your wife just died, and you're talking about recipes? Arliss: What would you have me do? Cho: Sir, we'd like to discuss your wife's estate. Arliss: Yes. Sorry. Idiots. Garlic. So Julia had money. So what? Rigsby: Well, you stand to inherit all of it, isn't that right? Arliss: Yes. So? Cho: Your wife and her lover are now both dad, klled the same way. That makes you our number one guy. Arliss: Or number two, I'd say. Have you talked to Abigail yet? Rigsby: Why? Arliss: Ask her about the fight she and Jeffrey had at the Fairplex market two weeks ago. It was quite a scene. Rigsby: You didn't think to mention this earlier? Arliss: Interrogation focuses the mind. What can I say? Cho: Except you're lying. Jeffrey hadn't seen his wife in months. Arliss: If Abigail said that, she's the liar. Jeff's restaurant Lisbon and Jane talk to Abigail. Lisbon: The market clerk confirmed the story. You were in contact with Jeff, and you were fighting. Abigail: I did not kll Jeffrey, if that's what you're getting at. I didn't even know about this thing with Julia. Lisbon: What were you fighting about? Jane: You've really changed your look, Abigail. Haven't you? Not that you don't look lovely now. It's just this old look, uh, accentuated your assets. Abigail: My husband just died, okay? Jane: You're still putting in time with the makeup though, I see. So appearance is important to you. Lisbon: What are you getting at? Jane: She's put on 5 or 6 pounds, doesn't fit into the sleek outfits anymore, so she wears this. She's pregnant. Congratulations. First trimester. Jeff's child, right? Right? Abigail: A few months ago, he came by to pick up some stuff. Things happened. And two weeks ago, I took a pregnancy test. Jane: How did he take the news of impending fatherhood? Oh. Okay. Lisbon: That's what you were fighting about. Abigail: I don't know why I didn't tell you. I've been, uh... confused. My parents don't even know. Lisbon: Do us a favor, Abigail. We're gonna need to search your house. Save us all some time and grant us permission. She gives them permission to search her house. Jane: Did you know a full-grown éléphant can eat up to 495 pounds of food per day? Lisbon: Could you at least pretend to be helping? Cho: Got somethin'. Found this in the garage. Lisbon: Nice work. Jane: And we care about a bag of beans why? Lisbon: Castor beans. They're used to make ricin. Jane: Ah, of course. Naughty Abigail. CBI HQ Lisbon: We found traces of ricin in Julia's favorite red pepper. Her death was not accidental. Both her and your husband were specifically targeted. Together with the castor beans we found, it's not looking good for you. Lawyer: My client denies any involvement in these killings. She bore no malice towards her husband or Ms. St. Germain. Lisbon: No malice toward her alcoolique and fiscally irresponsible husband and his lover? Lawyer: She was not aware of that relationship, nor did she ever set foot in that resort. Lisbon: Which you can't prove. Abigail: I didn't do this— Cho: Then how do you explain the castor beans in your house? Lawyer: She had no knowledge of them. Cho: That's convenient. Lawyer: This is a grieving widow— a pregnant, grieving widow. You think that a jury is going to convict on this circumstantial traif? Lisbon: We can make this stick, and you know it. Believe me, you will feel much better if you-[Lisbon's phone rings.] Would you excuse me? [on phone] What? You're where? Westing resort Lisbon joins Jane. Lisbon: What emergency? Jane: Follow me. Lisbon: Jane, I don't really have time for this. I was working on getting a confession. Jane: This is far more important. Lisbon: What is? Bertram: Agents, welcome. It's such a relief to know that the kller has been caught. Jane: Just doing our job. Bertram: And thank you for coming to this little memorial dinner. Lisbon: Dinner? Bertram: Honoring Jeffrey and Julia. Lisbon: We're having dinner? Jane: Gotta eat. Bertram: I certainly hope you enjoy yourself. It should be delicious. Excuse me. Those serviettes are horrifying. Lisbon: You have five seconds to tell me what's going on. Jane: First, we need a drink. Lisbon: Is it that bad? Jane: It's lovely. Jane wanders back into the kitchen. Hannah: Not bad, Ludo. Can we get the bowls ready? Jane: Hurry up, people. Adrien: You shouldn't be here. Jane: Yeah, you're probably right. You gonna make me leave? I hope not. Hannah: Excuse me. Jane: Oh, excuse me. I thought you'd be a little more grateful. I did just catch your friend's kller. Hannah: We're grateful. Just a little busy. Jane: Is that it? Oh, that smells good. Jane starts a grease fre as a distraction to load up a dish with fiery hot pepper polder. Jane: Oh, oops! Whoa! Oops! fre! fre! fre! Quick! Aah! Whoa! Aah! You know, I-I'm just gonna leave you guys with that. Around the table, Jane and Lisbon join the chefs to remember Jeff and Julia. Bertram: All right, everyone, please. Lift your glass. To Jeffrey and Julia, friends, colleagues, Titans in the culinary world, you will not be soon forgotten. Salud. Adrien: Cheers. Jane: Cheers. Hannah: To begin, we have a melon soup, prosciutto di Parma, mint and basil. Adrien: A reinterpretation of one of Julia's specialites. Bon appétit. Jane: Thank you. Come on. Don't let your midwestern taste buds hold you back. Bertram: Oh, chef. What is this spice? Hannah: Spice? Bertram: I like a little heat, but this is overpowering. Hannah: We didn't add any heat. Jane: Whew! That would be me. Sorry. fre! fre! The Red Savina pepper— ah, I got it from Julia's pantry. I thought it would be appropriate, and I'm just mad for heat, so... Obviously, I was a little heavy-handed. My— my apologies. What's the trouble, Eliza? Eliza: I don't, um... I don't feel well. I should go. Lisbon: What's the problem? Eliza: Uh, the peppers— it didn't go down well. Lisbon: The pepper? What's wrong with the pepper? If you don't wanna talk about it here, we can take it down to headquarters. Jane: How long can we keep her there? Lisbon: 48 hours. Jane: Wow, that's a stretch of time. Eliza: I have to leave. I have to leave right now. Jane: No, that would be rude. I don't think so. Bertram: What is wrong with you? Eliza: We all... have to go to the hospital right now. Hannah: What for? Eliza: The pepper... I think it was poisoned. I- I-I saw Ludo put something into it. Adrien: I did not. How dare you! Jane: Maybe you're just cramping a little? Just a little— Eliza: All right, all right. I poisoned Julia's pepper. Lisbon: And Jeffrey's gin. Eliza: Yes, yes! Just bring me to a hospital. Jane: No, hospitals are terrible germ factories. You don't wanna go there. Eliza: Are you insane?! Lisbon: Relax. We knew about the ricin in the pepper. We just didn't know who put it there. Bertram: I don't understand. Are we poisoned? Jane: No. I switched the peppers. Clever of me. CBI HQ Jane: Okay, so we know that your restaurant didn't fail, Eliza. Jeffrey and Julia— they klled it. We did some digging on Julia's father. Lisbon: He's the one who squashed your liquor license. Jane: Jeffrey was a drunk. He needed you in his kitchen, so he asked his if he could have her big, powerful daddy do her a favor. He didn't call you that night to talk about recipes, did he? He called to apologize for sabotaging your liquor license, for ruining any chance you had at opening your own place. Flash back Jeffrey's room Jeffrey: [phone] But I... I am trying to become a better man. I am. CBI HQ Jane: He told you what he did, and then you... decided to take your revenge. Lisbon: So you got some castor beans, mixed up a batch of ricin and went to the resort to find him. Eliza: Yeah. I went to his room. Flash back Jeffrey's room Eliza: Oh, Jeff. I accept your apology. Jeff: Let me just... wash up. CBI HQ Eliza: He was such a fool. Like I was gonna let that go? Like we were just gonna make up and all be friends again? That's... ridiculous. Lisbon: And then you went to the pantry and, uh, you found Julia's pepper and you dosed that, too. Eliza: One time I was cleaning shrimp for Jeffrey. There were, like, 40 pounds of it, and it was still half frozen, but that was the job. I couldn't feel my hands. It was so cold. I realized I was cutting the flesh off my own fingers. Carving it off. And I didn't mind... Because Jeffrey had a vision. I had a vision. And he said, "Go, babe. You deserve your own place." But he was lying. Him and his... rich bitch girlfriend. Like I was gonna let that go. He said, "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry"? What good is that? Abigail confronts Lisbon. Abigail: Agent Lisbon. A word? Lisbon: How can I help you? Abigail: You framed me. You put those castor beans in my house, didn't you? Lisbon: Ma'am, on my word of honor, I did not know that those beans were planted. Mr. Jane was responsible. I should've known. I should've stopped him, and I didn't, and for that, I am really sorry. Abigail: Why? Lisbon: He thought in order to catch the kller, that somebody else had to be suspected of the crime. He's probably right. I know you must be angry. Abigail: Trying to leave the anger behind. Though that's pretty much impossible, isn't it? Lisbon: It's hard. Abigail: Anyway, thank you for being honest with me. Tell Mr. Jane he's a mean, irresponsible sadist. Lisbon: Oh, I will. Ms. Barge? Living with an alcoholic is hard. Some never change. They don't even want to. But your husband checked into treatment two weeks ago right after you told him about the baby. I think he wanted to be there for you and your child. That's why he ended the relationship with Julia. For what it's worth, it seemed like he wanted to change. Abigail: Thank you. Lisbon enters in her office. Lisbon: It's okay. She's gone. Jane: Who's gone? Lisbon: Oh, please. Your guilty conscience is obvious and well deserved. Jane: Meh. Justice can be a harsh mistress. Omelets and eggs, ends to means, all's well that ends well. Lisbon: A glib answer's no excuse. Oh, and Abigail said to tell you that you are a mean, irresponsible sadist. Jane: Well, that's pretty accurate. You okay? No point denying it to me. Lisbon: I'm fine. Jane: Okay. Good night.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x15 - Red Herring"}	foreverdreaming
Zitek Biosystems Facility. Los Corrados, California A woman in a white coat goes into the building, enters a secure lab. She opens a steel box and inside are 5 vials, the sixth is missing. She looks everywhere, the vial is uncapped and she is scared. Two men enter the lab, one in a white coat and the second in a suit. Man in Coat: I daresay you've inspected more modern facilities in your travels, but, uh Woman in Coat: Griffin... Don't come in here. Man in Coat: Dr. Seberg, what's wrong? Oh, my God. CBI. - Lisbon's office (Jane, Lisbon, Rigsby) (Jane enters the office) Jane: Hey. Lisbon (working at his computer): Hey. Jane: Cheer up. Lisbon: Why? Jane: Uh, 'cause it's better to be happy than sad. Lisbon: I'm not sad. Jane: You're very sad. You've been sad for months, ever since, uh Lisbon: What, is this some sort of therapy session? Did you bring tissue in case you make me cry? Jane: There we go. Zing of anger— gets the blood up. That's a good start. Lisbon: Is this what you came here for, to zing me? Because I've got paperwork to do. Rigsby (motions him into the office): Jane, call for you. They say it's extremely urgent. Line two. Jane: Ooh... (he picks up the phone) This is Jane. Woman in Coat: Good morning, Mr. Jane. My name is Dr. Alicia Seberg. I gather from a brief search on the internet that you're the best Detective in my immediate vicinity. Jane: Oh. Well, um... you flatter me, but, uh, I'm not actually a detective. Dr. Alicia Seberg: I need your professional assistance. Please come immediately. I've been mrder. Credits Outdoors day. A helicopter flies over a building, there is a parking lot. (Jane, Lisbon, Dean Harken, Scott Price) (Jane and Lisbon get out of the helicopter) Jane (excited): Whoo! That was fun! Whoo! Lisbon: Agent Lisbon! CBI! Man: Ma'am, sir, please follow me. Jane: All right! Man in a dark suit: Agent Lisbon. (to Jane) And you are... Jane: I'm this guy, (he shows his card to the man) Patrick Jane. Consultant Man in a dark suit: Okay, Teresa, Patrick, glad to meet you both. I'm Dean Harken, California Disease Control Authority. Lisbon: Nice to meet you. Dean Harken: Yeah, we have a potential code red virus outbreak situation here. This facility is under C. D.C. A. Control, as per state emergency protocols. Thousands of people might die if we don't get this right, okay? Lisbon: We've been apprised of the basic... Dean Harken: Now she's denying it, of course, but this situation's almost certainly resulted from an error by Dr. Seberg. There's no criminality involved, so you're not really needed here. Lisbon: Probably but we're gonna have Dean Harken: As a professional courtesy, I'm gonna let you into the facility. I'm happy for you guys to observe and gather evidence, as long as you remember that C. D.C. A. Is big dog here. Our investigation has priority. Now are we cool with that? Lisbon: Absolutely. Jane: Can I see your I. D. Also? Dean Harken: Sure. Jane: Thank you... Dean. No picture. That's a shame. You're a good-looking man. Scott Price: Scott Price, I manage this facility for Zitek Biosystems division. Right off the bat, let me assure you that we as a company are 110% committed to giving you the best possible cooperation. Lisbon: Thank you, Mr. Price. Shall we? There's a sense of urgency here. Scott Price: Ah, yes, of course. (they head to a building, a walkway) Dean Harken: Lisbon, Jane, Dr. Edmunds, head of research here. He'll take you to the release incident. Price, come with me. Dr. Cliff Edmunds: Thank you for coming so quickly. Lisbon: What exactly is it that you do here? Dr. Cliff Edmunds: Biowarfare. With modern technology, anthrx, botulism, bubonic plague, even cobra venom all he strong wapon potential. It's a growing field. A lot of exciting developments. Jane: You develop ways of klling people in large numbers. Dr. Cliff Edmunds: To the contrary. We develop antidotes, ways to combat the things that kll large numbers of people. (he puts his eye to a scanner, that opens a door to the lab) Here we are. Follow me. (They enter the lab where Alicia Seberg is) Dr. Alicia Seberg: 120. Darling. Is this Mr. Jane? Dr. Cliff Edmunds: Yes. How are you feeling? Dr. Alicia Seberg: The same. Man in a white coat: Interesting improvement in cardiac rate, though. Dr. Alicia Seberg: My metabolism's trying to fight back with adrenaline. Good morning, Mr. Jane. Jane: Hi. Lisbon: Agent Lisbon, CBI. You mind running this down for us? Dr. Alicia Seberg: Someone opened this flask and left it under the tnk. It contains an airborne form of cryptohansa b strain. It's an engineered supervirus. If it escaped from this room, it would kll every vertebrate creature within a quarter-mile radius. It attcks the red blood cells, gradually stops them from delivering oxygen. The victim... dies from suffocation or a heart attck, depending on their physical condition. We estimate anywhere from two to six hours. Jane: So you could die at any time? Dr. Alicia Seberg: Yes. Jane: Harken says you did this yourself, tragic error. Dr. Alicia Seberg: He's a bureaucrat. He's looking for the easy answer. It takes four distinct steps to remove a cap from one of these flasks, and we never open a flask outside of the tnk. That's just basic. I can assure you both, I had nothing to do with this. But this was no mistake. Whoever did this wanted me dad. Everybody knows I take the first shift. Jane: She called you "darling." You both have wedding bands. You husband and wife? Dr. Cliff Edmunds: Yes. Jane: Well, she looks surprised because you seem incredibly calm and cool for a man whose wife is dying. Dr. Cliff Edmunds: How would an absence of calm and cool be useful to her? Jane: Good point. Correct me if I'm wrong, but for the kller to open the flask, they would have to expose themselves to the virus, which case, they would be dying or possibly dad already. Dr. Alicia Seberg: No, there's an antidote. It's an enzyme compound. If taken before exposure, it prevents infection. I assume whoever did this took a dose. Lisbon: Couldn't you j... Dr. Alicia Seberg: No, I can't take it now. The antidote only works if taken before exposure, as I said. Lisbon: Why didn't you take it before, just as a precaution? Dr. Alicia Seberg: The side effects of regular use are far too severe. Lisbon: Who else had access to the virus flask? Dr. Alicia Seberg: The only people allowed in the lab are Cliff and I, Welks, Nash and Tripp, our colleagues. We have a state-of-the-art biometric security system, as you can see. Jane: So your husband or one of the three colleagues is the kller... Sorry. Uh, will be the kller. Lisbon: Jane. Jane: I'm just... Mm. Dr. Alicia Seberg: That's all right. That is the unavoidable conclusion. Yes. Lisbon: Where are the other three now? Dr. Cliff Edmunds: Harken is having them fill out an accident report. Lisbon: We're gonna need to speak to them. In the Zitek corridors (Jane, Lisbon) Jane: Ooh, this is a good one, eh? Lisbon: Good? Jane: Well, interesting. Unique. Lisbon: If you're a jaded, ghoulish adventure seeker. Jane: Ghoulish? Listen, if people are gonna kll each other and we have to catch them, I would much rather they go about it with some kind of originality. (Lisbon makes a call) In the CBI team office. (Van Pelt, Cho, Rigsby) Van Pelt: Boss? Lisbon: Hey, Van Pelt. I need you to do background checks on Cliff Edmunds... Lilith Nash, Griffin Latimer Welks, Florian Eric Tripp. I'm sending you their details now. Rigsby: Anything to be looking out for in particular? Oh, uh, one of them released a lethal supervirus. That could kll half the state of California, so I guess we're looking for someone with a prior background as an evil supervillain. Cho: Okay. Lisbon: That last part was a joke. Cho: Yeah, we get it. Lisbon: Later. In a Zitec meeting room (Jane, Lisbon, Dean Harken, Florian Eric Tripp, Lilith Nash, Griffin Latimer) (Two men and a woman in a white gown complete a form seated at a conference table, Jane moves around the table) Jane: Hello. The three together: Hi. Hello. Hello. Griffin Latimer: What are you doin'? Jane: What does it look like I'm doing? Griffin Latimer: Trying to make us nervous? Jane: Correct. How am I doing? Griffin Latimer: Doing well. Jane: Excellent. Griffin Latimer: But why? Lisbon: One of you three mrder Alicia Seberg, or her husband did. It's our job to find out who. Jane: And we're in a hurry, and nervous people are easy to read. Florian Eric Tripp: And what do you gather from all this reading? Jane: Well, you're an open book. You're exactly what you seem to be... a straight arrow, a boy scout. Am I right? Florian Eric Tripp: No. Jane: I'm wrong. There's a hidden side to you. Florian Eric Tripp: Yes, but... Jane: What are you hiding? Florian Eric Tripp: Nothing. Jane: What is he hiding, Lilith? Florian Eric Tripp: I don't know. Jane: What are you hidi? Lilith Nash: I, I'm not... Jane: It was you, wasn't it? Griffin Latimer: Me what? Jane: You were having an affair with Alicia Seberg. Griffin Latimer: What? No, not with me. Jane: Not with you. With who, then? Griffin Latimer:: I oversee equipment and inventory, not my colleagues' private lives. Jane: But she was having an affair, huh? Why else would a husband have the motives to kll her? And if it wasn't her husband, it was one of you. Who was it? My guess... Kaseem. (Florian was writing notes abruptly raises his head) Yes! Lisbon: Does her husband know? Florian Eric Tripp: Oh, he knows. Lilith Nash: Dr. Edmunds a kind, gentle man. He couldn't have done this. Jane: Thank you, Lilith, Florian... Griffin. (Jane and Lisbon go back into the lab where Alicia Seberg, Isabel Seberg are) (Jane, Lisbon, Dr. Alicia Seberg, Dr. Cliff Edmunds, Dr. Jason Kaseem) Jane: Why didn't you tell us you were having an affair with Dr. Kaseem here? Dr. Alicia Seberg: Because it isn't relevant. Dr. Cliff Edmunds: Yeah, we have an honest and open marriage. Dr. Jason Kaseem: They do. Lisbon: Really? You don't mind? Dr. Cliff Edmunds: No, I don't mind at all. Fidelity is sily a cultural convention. Jane: Like clothes and not klling people. Dr. Cliff Edmunds: You could say so. Lisbon: Come on. It must bug you a little. Dr. Cliff Edmunds: No. We love each other. Her hainess is mine. It's not like I don't have affairs myself. Lisbon: Are you having an affair presently? Dr. Cliff Edmunds: No. I've been far too busy. Lisbon: Y, you must think this is a little weird. Dr. Jason Kaseem: Uh... yeah... at first. But hey. Jane: But hey. What an eloquent phrase that is. (Alicia Seberg's computer makes sounds) Dr. Alicia Seberg: Oh! Isabel. Thank God. Isabel Seberg(the face of a teenager in tears appears on the screen): Mom? Mom, I got dad's message. Is it true? Dr. Alicia Seberg: Yes, it's true. Isabel Seberg: No. No, no, it can't be! Dr. Alicia Seberg: Oh, this is a pickle, isn't it? Oh, baby, don't cry. Don't cry. Isabel Seberg: How can you tell me not to cry? Of course I'm going to cry. Is there something you can do? There has to be something! Dr. Alicia Seberg: Listen to me. We don't have much time, so we mustn't waste it weeping and wailing, okay? Isabel Seberg: Okay. Dr. Alicia Seberg: Good. How's school going? Did you get your calculus grade up? Isabel Seberg: I got a 95 on my last test. Dr. Alicia Seberg: Oh, well done. You keep that up. A... and what about that boy, Andy? How's that going? Isabel Seberg: Oh, he's a jerk. I don't see him anymore. Dr. Alicia Seberg: Well, I must say, I'm glad to hear that. I didn't like the sound of him. (swallows) I love you so much. You're the best thing I ever did. And I am so... Proud of you. Isabel Seberg: Mom. Dr. Alicia Seberg: Shh, shh, shh! When I'm gone, you mustn't waste time being sad. A little while is okay, but not too long. You be brave. And be happy. Bye, baby. Isabel Seberg: Mom! Mom! Dr. Alicia Seberg: Bye, baby. Isabel Seberg: No, mom! Dr. Alicia Seberg (to her husband): Good-bye, my love. Dr. Cliff Edmunds: I love you, darling. Good-bye. (she collapses) Dr. Cliff Edmunds (to daughter): She's gone, baby. She's gone. (Jane seated in a chair, Lisbon standing, Dr. Cliff Edmunds standing behind the lab window, looks at the body of his wife. Harken Dean enters the lab) Dean Harken: She's dad? Lisbon: Yes. Dean Harken (to Cliff Edmunds): I'm, uh... I'm sorry for your loss. My people and I will get prepped for the decontamination procedure. Lisbon: How does that work? Dr. Cliff Edmunds: It's a low-intensity micro-radiation bath built in for this eventuality. The chamber is irradiated. The virus is destroyed. Alicia's body's not harmed. Lisbon: How long until we can examine the crime scene? Dean Harken (to Lisbon): Whoa. It's not a crime scene until you know there's a crime, right? Well, you don't know there's been a mrder here. Where's your evidence? Lisbon: Alicia's Seberg's word. Jane: Why would she lie? Dean Harken (to Jane): She had a brain freeze. She screwed up, and she can't admit the fact. It happens. I've been working this bat for a long time. I've seen the same denial, same certainty. It's human nature. Lisbon: I disagree. I believe her. I'm calling this in as a homicide. And I'm sorry if this complicates your work, but it's my job. Dean Harken: That's fine. Okay. Doing your job. But this is still a live outbreak, and I'm in charge here. You wanna make a mrder case, we'll deal with the suspects as per C. D.C. A. Protocols. Lisbon: Absolutely. (Harken leaves the lab) CBI - the team's office (Van Pelt, Rigsby) Van Pelt (behind his computer): Until the summer of '08, Seberg, Edmunds, Nash and Tripp all worked together at the Northern California Technology Institute Biochemistry department. Seberg and Edmunds left abruptly... some kind of legal dispute. Rigsby: Okay, Cho and I will check it out. (he leaves) Zitek Meeting Room (Dean Harken, Florian Eric Tripp, Lisbon, Jane) (Harken completes a questionnaire questioning Tripp, Jane and Lisbon are standing at the end of the table) Dean Harken: Have you ever been convicted of a criminal offense? Florian Eric Tripp: No. Dean Harken: Are you now or have you ever been a member of a trror1st organization? Florian Eric Tripp: This is ridiculous. Jane: This is ridiculous. Lisbon: Just let it go. Dean Harken (to Jane and Lisbon): Let's have some quiet back there, huh? Now, Mr. Tripp, please Jane: Why? Dean Harken: Why? Jane: What difference does our silence make? Silent or not, you're still wasting everybody's time with this nonsense. Dean Harken (se leve and s'approche rapidement de Jane): You guys called this homicide, so now we have to run the paperwork. That's how it works. Jane: Still a waste of time. Dean Harken: I thought I made the deal clear to you guys. You really wanna mess with the C. D.C. A.? Lisbon: Absolutely not. I apologize for my colleague's rudeness... Jane: No, she doesn't. I retract that apology. Show some mettle, Lisbon. You know as well as I do, if I have ten minutes with these people, I will get the truth, if there's any useful truth worth having. Lisbon: Excuse us. Jane: Yes, excuse us. We have to have a chat. (Lisbon entraine Jane dans une salle attenante) Lisbon: Cool it, all right? That is an order. Jane: Okay. Just relax. I'm working the case. Lisbon: Let me explain something to you. Jane: Mm-hmm. Lisbon: This is politics. The C. D.C. A. is rich, mean and well connected. The CBI in comparison are like poor orphans. We can't make enemies out of them. We need to cooperate with this man. Jane: He irks me. Lisbon: Say it. "I understand." Jane: Hmm. Lisbon: Go. Find yourself a vending machine. Buy yourself a candy bar and come back when you're ready to play nice. Jane: Give me a dollar and I will. Lisbon (she angrily put a note in Jane's hand): You're paying me back. (They both return to the meeting rooom and Jane only passes through.) Lisbon (to Harken): Carry on. Ext. Daytime. Northern California Technology Institute. (Cho, Rigsby, Professor Green) (In the University corridors.) Professor Green: Oh, my lord. That's terrible. And you suspect foul play of some kind? Cho: Uh, professor, Dr. Seberg and her husband worked here at the institute until '08, as did Florian Tripp and Lilith Nash. Is that correct? Professor Green: Yes. Brilliant research team. We were very sorry to lose them. Money, you know? We tried to hold them to their contract, but Zitek thrat a lawsuit, so they left rather under a cloud. Rigsby: But Edmunds and Seberg as a couple, did they get along? Professor Green: Oh, I think so, despite all. Rigsby: Despite all what? Professor Green: Well, uh, I don't like to listen to that sort of gossip, but, uh, one hears things. Cho: Like? Professor Green: Edmunds was quite the ladies' man. Rigsby: He had affairs. Professor Green: So I gather. Quite the drama sometimes. Cho: Drama of what type? Professor Green: Fireworks, as it were, you know. But as I say, I don't pay attention. Rigsby: Anybody you know who did... pay attention? Professor Green: Ah, I believe one of our grad students in the astrophysics department was, uh, involved. Cho: Name? Professor Green: Greta Skye. Zitek. Lab with deceased Dr. Alicia Seberg (decontamination of the body) (Jane, a technician in a white suit) Jane (a chocolate bar in hand): How long does this decontamination take? Technician: Another hour. Jane: Hmm. (opens a cabinet labelled "BIOHAZARD") Technician: Don't touch that, please. Jane: This is a mrder investigation. I can touch what I want. You have a problem with that? Technician: There's dangerous stuff in here, that's all. (Jane looks inside the cabinet, closes it, walks through the lab) Jane: I like what they're doing these days. They're making regular candy bars, only with dark chocolate. You tried that? Technician: No. Jane: You... you want a bite? Technician: No, thank you. Jane: All right. Hmm. really good. (He sees Alicia Seberg still on the computer screen, Isabel cries) Jane: Hi. Can you hear me? Isabel, right? Isabel Seberg: Who are you? Jane: My name's Patrick Jane. I'm here to find out who klled your mother. Isabel Seberg: Good. kll them, please. Jane: Oh, I wish I was allowed to do that. You know, you should probably step away from your computer. Do you have any friends nearby? Isabel Seberg: I wanna be with my mother. Jane: Yeah. I'm sorry for your loss. Do you have a candy bar around at all? Isabel Seberg: What? Jane: Well, we were just talking chocolate, and it occurred to me that chocolate would be good for you. All that emotion... it wipes you out. And sugar's good for energy. Isabel Seberg: My mother is dad. Jane: Chocolate and grief is a good combination. You should try it. It'll taste so much... Deeper, more intense. Everything will feel that way for a while. You'll feel more alive. You should probably try to hang on to that feeling as long as you can. It's a gift. Isabel Seberg: I guess. Jane: I want you to do something for me now, Isabel. I want you to please turn off your computer and go and tell a friend what's happened. You do that now. (Isabel turns off the computer) (Jane reprend son exploration du labo sous l'oeil quelque peu inquiet du Technician. Il approche de l'eyescan) (Jane looks over the lab, somewhat concerned about the Technician. He approaches the eyescanner.) Jane: Open sesame. (the eyescanner recognises Jane, the lab door opens. Jane falls, the Technician closes the door) Whoa! That wasn't meant to happen, was it? Uh-oh. (Jane quickly exits the lab) Zitek Meeting Room (Dean Harken, Lilith Nash, Lisbon, Jane) Dean Harken: Do you have an advanced degree in any of the physical sciences? Lilith Nash: Yes. Jane (fait irruption dans la salle): Excuse me. Uh... Sorry to interrupt. We need to expand the pool of suspects. Zitek. Lab with deceased Dr. Alicia Seberg (Jane, Lisbon, Dean Harken, Technician) Jane: The tricky little high-tech scanners let anyone in. Dean Harken: That's nonsense. Jane: Try it. Dean Harken: I'll be damned. Jane: See? Same with that door. Anyone at this facility could've gotten to those little virus thingies... anyone. Lisbon: Who's responsible for the operation of the security scanners? Zitek corridors (Lisbon, Jane, Dean Harken, Scott Price) Scott Price: I have no idea. How that could happen. That's outrageous. Dean Harken: It's your job to oversee the security systems here, isn't it? Scott Price: Not the technical aspects, obviously. That's contracted out, but I'll get right on 'em, give 'em a piece of my mind, believe you me. Jane: You're showing us your palms. It's a supplicant gesture, suggesting a guilty conscience. Scott Price (Jane makes the same gestures to Scott): That... that's not valid or relevant. I'm... I'm simply stating the facts. I have no idea why the security system doesn't work. Dean Harken: The man's right. You're not real convincing. Scott Price: I regret that's your opinion, but I, I have no control over that. Dean Harken: Mr. Price, you're under arrest. Scott Price: For what? Dean Harken: Let's see. For one, the mrder of Alicia Seberg. Scott Price: That's absurd. Lisbon: And frankly, not your call. Dean Harken: Oh, is that right? Lisbon: Yeah, this homicide investigation is ours. (while Lisbon and Harken argue, Scott Price moves away from the group) Dean Harken: If we can't get along, I'll call my friends at the FBI, get them to take over from you. In fact, I will do that. I'm sorry, little lady... Jane: Maybe you should step back... May, maybe I was right about the supplicant palm gesture. (Lisbon and Harken courent afin de rattraper Price qui a pris la fuite) Yep. (Price monte dans sa voiture, démarre, défonce une barriere, passe plusieurs postes de surveillance a grande vitesse, pour finalement etre stoppé par une voiture) (Price gets into his car, starts, speeds off, only to be stopped by a car) Zitek Meeting Room (Scott Price, Dean Harken, Lisbon, Jane) Scott Price: I... I wanna talk to my lawyer. Lisbon: You have that right, but if it doesn't... Dean Harken: Have you ever sat in the back of a military aircraft with a black hood over your head? Scott Price: Uh... No. Dean Harken: Well, then you got a new experience comin', because that is where this is goin' unless you start talkin' right about now! Lisbon: Um... Look... Dean Harken: Quiet. (to Scott Price) Please. Scott Price: The contractor screwed up. The software glitches constantly, So... they're fixing it. Meanwhile, the system's down... Temporarily. Nobody knew the system was down, so in a way, it worked just as if it was up and running... In a way. Lisbon: How long was it down for? Scott Price: Two... Months. Dean Harken: Two months? Anyone at all could enter the lab... trrorists, crazies, thieves. Have you any idea how much trouble you're in? Jane: Thieves? People wanna steal germs? Dean Harken: Cryptohansa b strain is a... is a must-have research tool. It's hard to make. It's worth $300,000 a gram in the black market. Jane: Wow. Dean Harken: Isn't that right, Price? And you left the cupboard door wide open. You are yea deep in trouble, pal. You think about your situation for a while. Okay? And we'll talk again. (Dean Harken leaves the room. Jane looks at Price, rises, pats Price on the shoulder, Lisbon and Jane go out of the room) Zitek Corridors (Lisbon, Jane, Dean Harken) Jane (to Harken): You know he didn't kll Alicia Seberg. You just like scaring people, right? Dean Harken: Hey, if there was a mrder here, I think he's a very good suspect. Jane: Why? He has no interest in her death. It could only lead to discovery of the security breakdown. Dean Harken: We'll see if he had any other motives. Jane: The salient pot here is that anyone could have gotten to those flasks, not just Price. Kaseem could have, for instance, or you could have. You were already here, weren't you? For an inventory check? What time did you get here, exactly? The night before, right? Dean Harken: You remind me. I was goa call the FBI, replace you people. Lisbon: And I was gonna tell you that's not your call. We're here on the direct say-so of the A. G. Call him. Tell him we're off the case. See what he says. Dean Harken: I might do that. We'll see how it goes, shall we? It's time to open the biohazard chamber. Jane: Oh, that sounds fun, opening the biohazard chamber. In the lab (Lisbon, Jane, Dean Harken, Technician) (le Technician sort la valisette de métal ayant contenu les flasques de Cryptohansa b, la dépose sur une table) (The Technician places the case containing the Cryptohansa b, on a table) Jane: Shouldn't we be wearing masks or something? Dean Harken: No virus could possibly survive the radiation bath. The virus inside the flasks are still alive, of course. But the flasks are unbreakable. There's no danger. (Harken opens the case) Five flasks intact. Let's get these babies back in deep freeze. (The Technician gets rid of the case into a cupboard) Dean Harken: Okay. We're copacetic. Lisbon: Let's send Alicia Seberg on her way. Dean Harken (to Cliff Edmunds who enters the lab): Doctor, this is a crime scene now. You can't... Lisbon: Let him stay. Northern California Technology Institute corridors (Cho, Rigsby, Greta Skye) Greta Skye: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Cho: And, Greta, you had a sexual relationship with Cliff Edmunds, the victim's husband, is that right? Greta Skye: No. I mean, yes. It wasn't... well, yes, I did. But I didn't. You don't think I had something to do with klling her? Rigsby: No, ma'am, we're just looking for insight into their relationship. Greta Skye: You think Cliff klled her. Rigsby: Is he the jealous type? Greta Skye: Not at all. Rigsby: Did he ever show volence to you? Greta Skye: No, no. Cliff is a very gentle soul, really. And Alicia's such a cool person. Cho: We heard there was trouble. Greta Skye: No. Well... There was one incident, but it had nothing to do with Cliff or Alicia, really. Cho: Please continue. Greta Skye: We'd been seeing each other for a while. Somebody left a note for me, pushed under by door in the middle of the night. Basically, it said I was a whore and I should stay away from Cliff. It was very ugly. It was anonymous, of course. Cho: Who do you think sent the note? Greta Skye: I thought at first it was Alicia Seberg, naturally. But it turns out she wasn't even in the country. On the night in question. Rigsby: Who's your next best guess Greta Skye: Um, the one time I went to see Cliff at work, there was a lab assistant. She gave me this glare like a death ray, and I thought maybe it was her. Cho: What's her name? Greta Skye: Lilith Nash. Zitek livingroom (Lisbon, Jane, Van Pelt) Jane: The question is why now? What was it that triggered the klling? What changed? Lisbon: What's the answer? Jane: Well, for one thing, Harken showed up. Lisbon: You think Harken did this? Jane: Ooh, I'd like that. But what's his motive? Lisbon (answeing the phone): Van Pelt. Van Pelt (in his office at the CBI): Boss, Cho and Rigsby found an ex-lover of the vic's husband. She thinks Lilith Nash sent her a menacing note. Lisbon: Interesting. (she puts the speaker on so that Jane can hear) Van Pelt: So I dug deeper. Nash is clean under her current name but had a brief marriage in Canada in '96, '97. Under that name, Lilith Blaum, in '99, still in Canada, she had a restraining order taken out against her by her ex-husband and subsequently spent four months in a secure Mental Institute. Jane: Well, that could happen to anyone. Uh, Van Pelt, could you do me a favor? Could you call Cho and Rigsby and have them get out here as quick as possible? Lisbon: Why? Jane: I got a hunch we're gonna need'em. Van Pelt: Okay. Lisbon: Thank you. Van Pelt: Will do. Lisbon: Let's go talk to Nash. Jane: Meh. Lisbon: What? I think she's good for it. Jane: Ah, she's nuts. She's got a nutty little secret crush on the boss, kills the wife. Lisbon: Something like that. Jane: She did seem nervous, but why kll now? And why would she use the virus? Lisbon: I don't know. Let's go and ask her. Jane: Ugh, if you want to. Lisbon: You know, you're just resisting Nash because you didn't peg her right away as the one. Jane: No, I'm resisting Nash because, uh, she isn't the one. But if you wanna go talk to her, let's go talk to her. But whatever you do, do not tell Harken. Lisbon: Why not? It's procedure. Jane: Fig for procedure. He'll stomp all over her she'll clam up you'll get nothing but a waste of time. Lisbon: I'm telling Harken. Jane: Okay. A Zitek Office (Lisbon, Jane, Lilith Nash) (Jane enters an office, seated are: Cliff Edmunds, Griffin Welks, Florian Eric Tripp) Jane: Nash, come with me. Now. (ils entrent dans une piece) Stand there. Listen closely and please tell the truth. Is there a way out of here that avoids the main gates? A back way out? Lilith Nash: Yes. Jane: Where? Lilith Nash: Walk a mile north. There's a culvert that goes under the fence. Halfway along the northeast property line. Jane: Excellent. Now... Tell the truth. Did you ever go by the name Lilith Blaum? Lilith Nash: Yes. Jane: Did you spend time in a mental asylum? Lilith Nash: Yes. Jane: Do you have a secret crush on Cliff Edmunds? Lilith Nash: Yes. Jane: Did you kll Alicia Seberg? Lilith Nash: No. Jane: I believe you, but I know how Harken's thoughts run. A way to blame you will be found. I repeat. I know how Harken's thoughts run. A way to blame you will be found. Do you hear me? Lilith Nash: Yes. Jane: Excellent. (Jane leaves the room) Go. (Jane returns to the office where the three scientists wait) Jane: Did Lilith Nash come back in here? Cliff Edmunds: No. Jane: Uh, that's odd. Dean Harken: Where's Lilith Nash? Cliff Edmunds: Uh, she left with... Jane: You don't need to worry about her. She's not guilty. Dean Harken: And how do you know that? Jane: Because I asked her. She told me. Dean Harken: Uh-huh. And where is she now? Jane: Um... I don't know. Dean Harken (speaking into his jacket): Security. Ext. night, armed men running in all directions in search of Lilith Nash. Int. Zitek building (Dean Harken, Jane, Lisbon) (in the corridors) Dean Harken: She's not in her room. She's nowhere to be found. Jane: Oh, you people are overreacting. I'm sure she's no danger. Dean Harken: She's mentlly unstable and probably a kller, but you're sure she's no danger. Well, that's reassuring. Jane: Well, even if she is those things, and I don't say that she is, then she's done her worst already. A man in a suit (calls Harken): Mr. Harken! We have a code red. Jane: What's a code red? Dean Harken: What? No. (they follow, arrive in a rest room, a bottle of virus is open on a table) Lisbon: Oh, no. Jane: Ohh. (Next to the vial, a note: "I am sorry" Cliff Edmunds: Anyone within a quarter-mile radius of this flask is gonna be dad within the next four to six hours. Dean Harken: But I put the flasks in the safe. Lisbon: She must have gotten into the safe somehow. (Lisbon, Harken, Edmunds leave quickly) Jane: W... h-how is that possible? (he follows the group which has just left) In Alicia Seberg's lab (Dean Harken, Jane, Lisbon, Cliff Edmunds, the Technician) (Harken gets out the case containing the remaining flasks of virus. As Harken raises the lid of the carrying case, Jane smashes a flask.) Jane: What was that? Lisbon: A beaker fell. Cliff Edmunds: What? Dean Harken: There's only one missing. That's a relief, anyhow. But how did she do it? Lisbon: Never mind how. She's done it. What do we do now? Cliff Edmunds: Well, there's nothing we can do. In the next four hours, we'll all be dad. Lisbon (Lisbon entraine Jane un peu a l'écart du groupe): Tell me the truth. This is a trick right? Jane: No. Why would I do something like that? What would be the point? Lisbon: Swear on your child's grave. Jane: You know I don't do that, not for anything. Lisbon: Oh, my God. Staff gather in the Zitek corridors Man: This is a drill, right? Cliff Edmunds: Uh, this is not a drill. This is... this is the real thing. I'm sorry. Dean Harken: Listen up. We have a few hours left. But we'll keep this virus contained here. Nobody leaves this facility. Man: And then what? We get buried in the desert? Dean Harken: The air force will drop incendiary bmb on the facility, burn the virus out. Your next of kin will be informed. Like I say, we have a few hours left, so we all should make our arrangements and say our prayers as best we can. Make your phone calls. May God have mercy on our souls. (People are panicking, some want out, they are prevented by security, crying, screaming ...) A road at night, a phone rings. (Cho, Rigsby, Lisbon, Jane) Cho (responding to the call): Hey, boss. We're about five minutes from your location. Lisbon: Cho, listen. Jane and I have been exposed to the virus, and it looks like we might die soon. Cho: Okay. Lisbon: So I wanna thank you and Rigsby and Van Pelt. It's been an honor working with you. I need you to call my brother Tommy. His number is in my desk diary. It's under Town and Country Electrical. Tell him that I love him and that I forgive him for whatever and that, um, he needs to make peace with his brothers. It's my last dying wish. You tell him that. Cho: Will do. Lisbon: Okay. Cho: Good-bye. Jane: Uh, wait. I... I wanted to talk to them also. Lisbon: Sorry. Jane: It's all right. (Lisbon gives him her phone) That's a fine farewell. I feared that you'd become tearful and incoherent, but no. Succinct. Noble. Bravo. Lisbon: Uh-huh. Don't you have anybody you wanna call besides Cho and Rigsby? Jane: No. And if were dying, I'd wanna call you, but... You're already here. So there's no need. Lisbon: Me? Jane: Hmm? Lisbon: Hmm? What would you say? Jane: Uh... Lisbon: Wait... wait a minute. If? If I was dying? Jane: Yeah, you're not really dying. I wrote a label and put it on an empty flask, and then I convinced poor Lilith Nash to run away. I feel kind of bad about it... Lisbon: You son of a bitch. (Lisbon gets up and rushes towards Jane, furious) Jane (phone at the same time): But just... just wait. Just please. Be still. Cho? This is Jane. Please disregard Lisbon's last message. I tricked her. My bad. Lisbon I'm so sorry. Are you at the culvert? Okay, good. Wait. There'll be some people coming your way soon. Bye. Lisbon: You're sick. Why would you do this to me? Jane: Two reasons... firstly, to catch the kller of Alicia Seberg, the kller who is not poor Lilith Nash. The kller who, you may recall, took a dose of the antidote in order to survive. Exposure to the virus. Yes? Lisbon: Yes... Jane: The kller who believes that he or she is the only one that isn't going to die. Yes? Lisbon: Yes. Jane: So they have to get out of here before we die, or else they'll be burnt to a crisp by the Air Force. Their hands are tied. They have to try to escape, thus revealing themselves to us with precision and clarity of a mathematical equation. Lisbon: And reason number two? Jane: The second and most important reason is doesn't it feel great to get your life back? Don't you feel good right now? Don't you feel happy to be alive? Lisbon: No! Jane: Oh, I know you do. You know you do. Lisbon: If reason number one does not pan out very, very soon, I think I'm gonna punch you in the nose. Jane: Forbearance, Lisbon. Any moment now, Harken is gonna come around that corner with an anxious expression on his face because someone has run off. Any moment now. Wait. Any moment. Lisbon: Nothing. Jane: If you just get... (Lisbon punches Jane on the nose) Ow! Ow! Ow. Whoo! (Dean Harken and a guard approach)That's what I'm talking 'bout. Ext. night Rigsby & Cho pacing in front of their car. On the back seat, Lilith Nash. A few dozen meters from the Zitec fence, Griffin Welks emerges, awaited by Cho and Rigsby. Rigsby: Hi. Zitec building (Dean Harken, Jane, Lisbon) Dean Harken: Well, this was all a hoax? Jane: Well, "hoax" is a little strong. Uh, more of a ruse, a gambit. Lisbon: The important thing is we caught the kller. Right? That's what's important. Jane: That's what's important. Griffin Welks, huh? Never would have caught him your way, and my way... cathartic and life-affirming. Lisbon: You know what? You're on your own. (she leaves) Jane: Okay, the important thing now is to be careful 'cause this is the real thing. (Jane gives Harken the flask he had taken) Okay? All right, let's get that back in the deep freeze. See you around, big dog. (Jane rushes off leaving a stunned Harken) CBI interrogation room. (Griffin Welks, Cho) Griffin Welks: I was siphoning off small amounts of the virus matrix and selling it on the black market. Cho: $300,000 a gram. Griffin Welks: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I'm in charge of keeping inventory, so it was easy, until Harken arrived to do a spot check, and I had to do something fast, so I spilled a flask to cover up the missing quantity. Cho: Knowing full well Alicia Seberg would be exposed. Griffin Welks: Someone had to be responsible. I figured everyone would think that she'd opened the flask by accident and couldn't admit to it, 'cause she was like that... couldn't be wrong. Cho: I'm curious. The money you made from your theft... How'd you spend it? Griffin Welks: I didn't. I have it in treasury bonds mostly, some real estate. Cho: Mm-hmm, that's smart investing. You'll be the richest man in Folsom. (Cho leaves the room) In front of CBI elevator. (Jane, Lisbon) Jane: Whew. Long day. Ooh. It's chilly around here. You still angry with me? Lisbon: Duh. Jane: Oh, confess. You do feel better. You feel much more alive. I know you do. (they both enter the elevator) Lisbon: You know what made me feel better? Punching you in the nose. Jane: Ah. Glad to be of service. The end	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x16 - Code Red"}	foreverdreaming
Ext. Daytime. CBI Building (Lisbon, Jane, Rigsby sortent du batiment) Lisbon: Her name's Madeleine Hightower. She's been running Intelligence down in Fresno. Rigsby: New boss? Jane: New boss. Madeleine Hightower. Lisbon: Chief Deputy A. G. says she'll be here sometime tomorrow. Word is she's hard as nails... Political, tight statehouse connections. Rigsby: So this is good for us. We'll have some real muscle upstairs. Lisbon: We'll see. Jane: No need to be nervous. Lisbon: I'm not nervous. Jane: You're an exemplary agent. No reason for butterflies. Lisbon: No butterflies. I'm fine. Jane: Keep telling yourself that. (The three get in the CBI 4X4) Ext. Daytime. Hopper Banks Estate. Citrus Heights, California (Lisbon, Jane, Rigsby, Vic Bandino) (Lisbon's car arrives at the scene of the crime) Vic Bandino: Vic Bandino, Alpha Bravo residential security. Appreciate your quick response. Lisbon: Agent Lisbon. This is Patrick Jane, and this is Ag... Vic Bandino: Wayne Rigsby. CBI, huh? You did okay. Rigsby: Hi, Bandino. What's up? We worked a couple of cases together back in the day. San Diego P. D. Arson squad. Yeah. Vic Bandino: Boy, those were the times, huh? Remember that stakeout in Pismo? You ever call that chick? Lisbon: Yeah... would you show us the body, Mr. Bandino? Vic Bandino: Yes, ma'am. Yeah, of course. Please. He's in the pool house. Name's James Smithson... 28, British citizen. He's a high-priced tutor for local kids. Daughter of the homeowner's one of the students. Couple months ago they let him move in here. Lisbon: Rigsby, can you find out why the coroner's not here? Rigsby: Yeah, sure. Lisbon: Who found the body? You? (Ils entrent dans une habitation, un corps est au sol.) (They go into a house, a body is on the floor.) Vic Bandino: The homeowner's kid. She was coming in for a lesson. She called her dad. He called me. I called you. Lisbon: Not the local police? Why us exactly? (A man enters) Hopper Banks: What the hell, Vic? You were supposed to call me the second they got here. Lisbon: Excuse me, sir? Hopper Banks: I'm Hopper Banks. Lisbon: Agent Lisbon, CBI. This is a crime scene. Hopper Banks: It's my place. (Jane trouve sur une table basse des sachets de thé au citron) Lisbon: Mr. Banks, I need you to leave. Can you do that for me? Hopper Banks: I'll be in the main house. I'll expect a full report. Let me konw when you get the body out of here. Vic Bandino: That's why I called you. Old California money, lots of clout. Local P. D. won't cut it. He wants the best. Rigsby: Coroner's on his way. Vic Bandino: A single gn. Judging by the wound, looks like a .38. No wapon. Don't worry. It's a visual inspection. Didn't touch a thing. (Jane finds tea bags and lemon on a coffee table) Lisbon: No sign of asault or robbery? Vic Bandino: Real fancy resume, this guy. Graduated from Eton and Oxford. Last employer was some hotshot prep school back east. Jane: Meh, I wouldn't be so sure. Vic Bandino: Excuse me? Jane: The facial scar. Eton boy gets a cut on his head, and he needs a plastic surgeon, he gets a plastic surgeon. My guess... the whole resume is a fairy tale. Vic Bandino: Excuse me? Jane: You're excused. Vic Bandino: I checked him out myself. Jane: Well, I'm wrong then. Uh... No blisters or calluses on his hands. A lot of dirt under his fingernails. Vic Bandino: Who is this guy? Rigsby: It's a long story. Jane (sniffs the hand of the victim): Hmm. Lisbon: Anything else? And this place must be alarmed. (Jane spots a red box under the bed) Vic Bandino: Yeah, family never turn it on. I got the call at 3:35. I was at a client's residence nearby, working an alarm upgrade. Arrived here at 3:52. (Jane picks up the box) Body was still warm. So I guess the time of death was a good hour before that. (Le corps de la victime a un sursaut) Vic Bandino: What the hell. Jane (interloqué): Guess again. [ Credits ] Outside the property of Hopper Banks (Rigsby, Lisbon, Jane) (Paramedics carry the victim) Rigsby: It's called Lazarus syndrom. Guy's heart somehow caught an electrical charge and restarted. Hey, it happens. Lisbon: So you're saying he's alive? Rigsby: Well, if you can call that living. He's brain-dad. With no oxygen for more than ten minutes. He's not coming back. Lisbon: There's security cameras out there. Have Bandino show you the footage. Maybe we'll get lucky and catch a look at the sh*t. I need to go and talk to the little girl who found the body. Rigsby: You got it. (Nearby Jane inspects trays of flowers. Lisbon notices.) Lisbon: What are you looking for? Jane: The dirt under his nails smelled like rosemary. (finds something in a bed of rosemary) Yeah. (a place dug in the ground, the red box fits there snugly) Whatever was inside this box klled our man. Lisbon (smirking): Well, the case is practically closed. Jane: There's no reason to be snarky. Int. Banks' living room. (Lisbon, Jane, Hopper Banks, Jolene Banks, Lanie Banks) Hopper Banks: It was my wife Jolene, really. She saw how much James helped Lanie with her schoolwork, and when she heard he needed a place to live, she rented the pool house to him. I guess he's been here, uh... I don't know. A couple of months, maybe. Jane: Very generous of your wife. Hopper Banks: Jolene has a big heart. Jane (pointing to a photo on the wall): Is this her? Hopper Banks: My muse. Jane: Good-looking. Hopper Banks: Mm. She turned me into a real artist. Before I met her, I was taking snapshots. Lisbon: Mr. Banks, we're gonna need to talk to your daughter. Jolene Banks (enters the living room): I'm sorry. Lanie's too upset to talk at the moment. Please. Maybe later. Lisbon: We need to speak to her when her memory's fresh. Jolene Banks: She saw what you saw. She came home, went to the pool house for some homework help... Lisbon: We're gonna have to hear that from her. Jolene Banks: And she found a dad body. She's 12 years old. Don't... don't you get it? (a teenager enters) Lanie Banks: It's not homework. It's a project about the pyramids. I can talk to you. Lisbon: Thanks, Lanie. Hopper Banks: Lanie, sit right here, sweetie. Lisbon: I'm Agent Lisbon, and that's Patrick Jane. Lainie Banks: Hi. Jane: What do you have to do for the pyramid project? Lainie Banks: Describe the afterlife as depicted in the ancient egyptian mythology. Jane: Ah, as depicted in the ancient egyptian mythology. Well, did you know that they believed that when you die, you are carried into the next life on the back of a sacred hippopotamus? That's true. Lisbon: What time did you get home from school? Lainie Banks: A little after 3:00. Lisbon: What did you do? Lainie Banks: I made lemonade. James loves my lemonade. Lisbon: Who else was home? Hopper Banks: Uh, nobody. Uh, I was at the gallery, and Jolene was at the gym. Lisbon: Mr. Banks, please. (Jolene Banks se leve du sofa) Lainie Banks: No one was here. I took the lemonade to the pool house. I... I saw... so much blood. Lisbon: Did you see anybody or hear anything? Voices? A car? Lainie Banks: Just James. Hopper Banks: I'm taking her upstairs now. Jane: Does anybody know what was inside this? (indicating the red box in a bag) Jolene Banks (a glass in his hand): No. Are we through? Jane: Almost. Lanie, why didn't your mother want you to speak to us? Lainie Banks: She's not my mother. Hopper Banks: Honey, it... it's okay. Jolene Banks: I was protecting her. She's been through a very traumatic experience. Jane: Oh, I thought you were worried she was gonna say something about whatever it is you're trying to hide from us. Jolene Banks: How dare you? Jane: Really? How dare I? Is that the best comeback you've got? Jolene Banks (to her husband): You're gonna let this man insult me? Jane: Huh? Jolene Banks: Stand there with your mouth open like a moron. Hopper Banks: Baby. Baby. Really? Lisbon: Whew. Well played. Jane: Yeah. I'm starving. Hopper Banks' home studio (Vic Bandino, Rigsby, Lisbon, Jane) Vic Bandino: We've got four cameras in the backyard. We ran the footage from sunup till we got here. Check this out. We found this at 2:37. Watch the window. It's a muzzle flash. (Jane arrives, he is eating) Lisbon: Who's in there? Wh... what camera had the door? Vic Bandino: This is the only image we've got. Lisbon: Nobody coming in or out or in the yard? Jane: Whoever sht Smithson knew where those cameras were placed and how to avoid 'em. (Lisbon watches Jane hungrily bite his sandwich) This one's mine. If you want one, I can make one for you. Lisbon: We need to check Jolene and Hopper's alibis. Vic Bandino: None of these cameras are hidden. Anyone can see 'em... guests, students coming here for tutoring, their parents, everybody. Jane: Oh. Good point. Lisbon: Thanks for your time, Mr. Bandino. Jane (passes his plate to Bandino): Thank you. Cheers. CBI Corridors (Van Pelt, Lisbon, Rigsby, Jane) Van Pelt: The victim, James Smithson, doesn't exist. Passport's fake. His references are bogus. I ran his prints through all the databases. There's nothing, nothing at all. Lisbon (a Rigsby): Your friend Bandino didn't do much of a background check. Rigsby: Mm. That's not like him. He's not the sharpest Knfe in the drawer, but he always did the legwork. Lisbon: Do you think maybe he's holding something back, protecting his clients? Rigsby: Yeah, I'll check it out. Lisbon: Take Van Pelt. (Lisbon finds Jane on the couch) Jane: Just stop worrying. It's gonna be fine with the new boss. I mean, sure, there'll be a settling-in period when she probes your psyche for weakness, but once that's out of the way... Lisbon: Would you stop? You're being so childish. I think you're the one who's nervous. Jane: Ooh. That sounds perceptive. Let me think about that... No. I find that I'm not. It's definitely you. Cho: I'm gonna go talk to Smithson's regular students and their parents, fill in some of these blanks. Lisbon: Good idea. Take him with you. (pointing at Jane) Cho: Come on. Blankman Residence. Citrus Heights, California (Maggie Blankman, Cho, Jane) Maggie Blankman: My god. It's so terrible. Do you have any idea who did it? Cho: We're still investigating, Mrs. Blankman. Now the parents and students we've talked to all say he was a great tutor, but not much else. How well did you know Mr. Smithson? Maggie Blankman: Not that well. James had only been tutoring my son for... three... four months. I'd drop off, pick up. You know, say hello. He seemed nice. Jane (squirming on the sofa): E... excuse me, Mrs. Blankman. I... I'm sorry. Don't mean to interrupt. I'm a little parched. Could I bother you for a cup of tea? Maggie Blankman: Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't offer you... Jane: Oh, no no no, please. I... I can get it. You're shaking. Would you like a cup? Uh... Cho? Cho: No, thanks. (Jane goes to the kitchen, gets out cups, tea bags. Sniffs a grapefruit, dish soap, finally finds a yellow can of deodorant. Pours boiling water into the cups.) Cho: Your son never mentioned anything? Money problems? Anything unusual? Maggie Blankman: They just studied. Jane (returns from the kitchen cups in hand, he gives one to Maggie Blankman): Smelled so good, I went and made you one. lemongrass, my favorite. Yeah, it's funny how smells work. They attach themselves to such specific memories. You know, like the, uh, kitchen of a childhood home, or having a cup of tea with a lover. Maggie Blankman: Yes. Jane: Yes. Yes, you and James were lovers. Maggie Blankman: Yes. Jane: Mm... hmm. (Maggie raised the cup to her mouth) Oh, you might not want to drink that. That's a little... funky monkey. (he takes the cup from her hands) Ext. Daytime. In front of Banks' house (Rigsby, Bandino, Van Pelt) Rigsby: What kind of background check did you do, Vic? Vic Bandino: The usual. I called his last employer. I checked his credit. Rigsby: Well, James Smithson isn't James Smithson. None of it's true. Vic Bandino: Well, there's a limit to what I can do, you know? I'm not the CIA, here. Rigsby: Aw, come on, man. You used to be more gn-ho than that. Vic Bandino: That's why I'm not a cop anymore. It's too stressful. Unhealthy profession. Rigsby: Yeah, no kidding. Vic Bandino (to a technician, who is working): Hey, you got anything? Technician: No. Vic Bandino: Seriously, you hear about Hank Harrison? 39 years old, 5 years out from his pension... Boom. Heart attck. A wife, two kids. He had that, uh, that bachelor party, remember? Rigsby: Uh, no. Vic Bandino: Aw, come on. Sure you do. The stripper was all over his case, I'm telling ya. Van Pelt: I bet she was. Vic Bandino: Oh. oh, hey. Are you two, like, uh... Are you dating each other? Van Pelt and Rigsby (together): No, we're not. Vic Bandino: No? Because you both looked a little weird just now. Rigsby: No. Van Pelt: We're talking about a mrder here. Vic Bandino: Yeah. Yeah, hey, look, I'm sorry, all right? Uh, there is one thing. A couple months ago, Hopper was working on this photo thing. He, uh... he asked me to get him a gn. Old-fashioned piece, like the FBI was using in some '60s movie he saw. Van Pelt: Like a .38? Vic Bandino: Yeah, I guess. We never got to that. I turned him down. Told him if he wanted it like the movie, get a prop gn. I don't know what he did in the end, but it's worth mentioning, right? Yeah. Rigsby: Yeah, it is. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Vic Bandino: Hey, absolutely. Van Pelt: Thanks for your help. (Van Pelt and Rigsby are heading to their car) Vic Bandino: Yeah, no problem. Hey, listen. What say you and me go get a cup of coffee some time? Van Pelt: No, thanks. Vic Bandino: Huh? What's coffee? I'm a nice guy, right, Rigs? Rigsby: See ya later, Vic. CBI - Lisbon's office (Cho, Lisbon) (they come out of the office) Cho: So Smithson was a big ladies' man, and they've both got solid alibis. Maggie Blankman's husband's been in Reno for the last three days, and Maggie was at a therapist's session from 2:00 to 4:00 p. m.... double session. Lisbon: Jane and I are gonna go to Hopper's gallery, ask about the gn. (Rigsby, Van Pelt in the Team Office) Rigsby: Hey. Want a coffee? Van Pelt: No, thanks. So what was her name? Rigsby: Who? Van Pelt: The stripper. Rigsby: O... oh. I, uh... Van Pelt: We could double... date... Me and Bandino, you and your stripper. Rigsby: Wh... I th... I thought y... you... (Van Pelt laughs) Oh. That's mean. Van Pelt: Kidding. Rigsby: Oh, her name was, uh, Kandy. Oh, yeah. Sweet Kandy, with a "k." Van Pelt: Oh. Kandy with a "k." Mm... hmm. Hopper Banks Gallery. Citrus Height, California. (Hopper Banks, Jolene Banks, Lisbon, Jane, Lainie Banks) (Hopper and a woman look at photos) Hopper Banks: Do I own a gn? Lisbon: Yes, Mr. Banks, a .38. Have you ever been in possession of one or owned one? Hopper Banks: I never had a gn, any kind. I don't believe in them. (Jane and Lainie sit together) Jane: You're just not trying hard enough. Lainie Banks: I am. You just can't read minds. You close your eyes, okay? I'm the boss here. Concentrate. It's coming to me. Chocolate...Coconut... Swirl. Huh? Lainie Banks: Vanilla. Pay up. Jane: That's not funny. Lainie Banks: Yeah, it is. Hey, Dad, just getting ice cream. (she leaves) Hopper Banks: Okay. Lisbon: Uh, would you mind taking a polygraph test? Hopper Banks: No. Why would I do that? Jane (looks at a photo on the wall): I'll give you this, Hopper... You have a very consistent vision. A little crazy, but consistent. Hopper Banks: I wouldn't expect you to understand what I'm doing. Jane: Let me give it a sht. You enjoy taking possession of your wife, but only on camera, not in the flesh. You were being cuckolded by James Smithson, and you let it happen. Why? Impotence? Masochism? hm? I'm not sure. Jolene Banks: That's very perceptive, Mr. Jane. You have a talent. Jane: Meh, it's just... I do. Thanks. It's just... It's an easy call. You're very attractive but unhappy and accustomed to using your sexuality as a wapon. Did you use your sexuality as a wapon against him? Hopper Banks: Okay, you're done. Now... Go. Jane: What does it take to get you mad, Hopper? Did Smithson rub your nose in it? Hopper Banks: That's ridiculous! Lainie Banks (arrives with some ice cream): What's wrong? Hopper Banks: Uh, nothing, honey. Uh, these people were just leaving. Jane: Yeah, we should leave. Lisbon: Let's. Yeah. Jane: How's the ice cream? Lainie Banks: Good. Jane: Yeah. Hard to bat vanilla. Ext. Daytime. In Lisbon's car (Lisbon, Jane, Man with a bag) Lisbon: I know, I know. You were making stuff up to get the guy angry so you could get a read on him. Blah, blah, blah. The truth is, you just didn't like the guy. Jane (eating a vanilla ice cream cornet): Well, that would be very unprofessional. (looks in his rearview mirror, a car behind) Um, could you take the next left, please? Lisbon: Okay. Well, what did you read? Lisbon: Did he do it? Jane: Take the next left, and I'll tell you. Lisbon: Well? Jane: Well, maybe. He had a good motive. And maybe not. The red box didn't fit. Lisbon: You picked up a tail? (sees the car behind them in his rearview mirror) Jane: Cul-de-sac. (Lisbon stops the car, opens the window) Lisbon: Nothing. Jane (a car arrives): You sure? Uh-huh. (the car parks, and a man exits bag in hand, Lisbon gets out, followed by Jane) Lisbon: Excuse me. Why are you following us? The man with the bag: Following you? sht, I thought California was friendly. I'm just trying to make a sale here... life insurance. Cute young couple like yourselves, now you've gotta think about the future, right? You got kids yet? Jane (eating ice cream): That's a terrible accent. Disguised British, yes? You gotta work on your glottal stop. Lisbon: His what? Jane: His glottal stop. Lisbon: Can we see some identification, please? The man with the bag: Uh, sure. It's in the car. I'll... hold on, I'll get it. Jane (backs off): Uh-oh. Lisbon: Put your hands on the car. Now. The man with the bag: What's this about? Lisbon: Turn around. A stranger asks to see your I. D., you ask them to show you theirs first. Jane: Unless, of course, you're trying to hide something. The man with the bag: Quite right. Quite right, Mr. Jane. Lisbon: Who are you? The man with the bag: Francis Slocombe. Inspector Francis Slocombe. Scotland Yard Special Branch. Jane: Eh. CBI - Team Office (Cho, Rigsby, Lisbon, Jane, Francis Slocombe) Cho (phone): Thank you. I can't reach your contact at Scotland Yard. Francis Slocombe: Time difference. Tricky one, that. Rigsby: Yep, Francis Slocombe, registered at the Flamingo Hotel. Lisbon: Where's Jane? Jane: Here. Francis Slocombe (Jane hands him a cup of tea): Oh, thanks. Lovely. Did you check Liverpool's score? Jane: Up 1-nothing. End of the first half. Francis Slocombe: Excellent. Lisbon (off-hand to Jane): Where are the cucumber sandwiches? Jane: I'm being nice to him, because I think he might know what was in this. Lisbon: Oh, what about our search warrant that got klled? For the mrder wapon? Jane: You're not even a bit curious? Lisbon: After your performance at the gallery, Banks made some phone calls. Now Judge Withers won't sign the warrant. Jane: Oops. Sorry. Uh, she's a little cranky. New boss coming in. Lisbon: Enough with that. (to Cho) Did his story check out? Cho: Nope. Francis Slocombe: About James Smithson... his real name's Oliver Stans. Nine months ago he stole an extremely valuable artifact from the British Museum... A pristine example of greco-roman art circa 50 B. C. A wedding ring, said to belong to Cleopatra, given her by Mark Antony. That's what was in the box. Here's a copy from the museum gift shop. Stans lifted the ring and replaced it with one of those. (gives a ring to Lisbon who studies it) Cho: What was he doing in the United States? Francis Slocombe: He knew we were building a case against him. Changed his name, disappeared. A week ago we picked up chatter that a dealer in stolen antiquities was gonna buy the ring here, had sent someone to pick it up. (Lisbon passes the ring to Jane) May I? (to Cho. Taps the keyboard and a page appears) This is Louis Anglet... go to courier in the high-end stolen art market. I followed him here to Stans and the ring, but I arrived too late. That's why I was following you. Anglet has the ring now, and I need to get back on the trail. Lisbon: You're not going anywhere until your story checks out. Jane: Whoever klled Stans klled him for the ring. Lisbon: Ron, take Mr. Slocombe to an interrogation room. Sit on him while I make a call. Ron: Sure. Let's go. Van Pelt: Slocombe's right. James Smithson is Oliver Stans. A few minor arrests... narcotics possession charge, asault. Looks like a bar fight. And yes, a person of interesting the British Museum theft. Cho: Any next of kin? The hospital called. They need someone to sign off on organ donation. Van Pelt: Uh... Stans' mother was a single parent. Died three years ago. No siblings. Lisbon: Cho, come with me. We need to ask Slocombe some questions. Interrogation Room with Slocombe (Lisbon, Cho, Ron) (Ron collapsed unconscious on the table, Slocombe has disappeared) Lisbon: His gn's gone. Cho: I'll get a search started. Lisbon: Ron, can you hear me? Team Office (Lisbon, Jane, Van Pelt, Rigsby, Hightower) Lisbon: FBI says he's Scotland Yard, but he's got nothing to do with this case. Nine months ago when the ring was lifted, he went off the reservation. He's been tracking Stans ever since. Jane (the red box in his hand): Hmm. Rigsby: You think he helped with the robbery, and Stans double-crossed him? Jane: No. No, Slocombe's just trying to get the ring back. "Why?" is the big question. Lisbon (to Rigsby and Van Pelt): You two, go to his motel room. See if you can find anything there that'll help us. Rigsby: Okay. Cho: Hey, no sign of Slocombe. I got a grid search started. Lisbon: This is perfect. It's perfect. Hightower (approaches): Agent Lisbon. Madeleine Hightower. Lisbon: Special agent Hightower, welcome. Hightower: Thank you. Lisbon: This is Patrick Jane. Hightower: The famous Mr. Jane. (Jane gets up to shake his hand) Good to meet you. Jane: You, too. Hightower: I've gonna have a nice quite day-to-day but it seems there is trouble. Lisbon: We lost somebody. We're looking for him. Hightower: Then I'm sure you'll fight him. Let's talk to my office. Give me a half-hour to roll some calls. Lisbon: Yes, ma'am. (Hightower walks away) Jane: She likes you. I can tell. Ext. Daytime. Flamingo Motel. Citrus Heights, California (Rigsby, Van Pelt) Rigsby: places. Van Pelt (looks around the room): That's shocking. Rigsby (sat on the bed): Ooh, oh well, that is a good bed for a motel room. Very firm. You, uh... You wanna try it? Van Pelt: Oh, come on. Rigsby: What? There's nobody here. We can lock the door. Nobody's looking. Come on. Van Pelt: We're on duty. Rigsby: Yeah, I know. Totally wrong. Come on. Van Pelt (spots something behind the air vent on the wall): Hold that thought. Rigsby: What you got? Van Pelt: Eureka. (finds a leather briefcase) Rigsby: Yeah, eureka. Is that mean you can get back here? Van Pelt: This could be critical evidence. Rigsby (undoes his tie): Yes, it could be, but unless the critical evidence self-destructs in less than ten seconds, I suggest you get yourself back here. It's critical. Van Pelt: Fine. (She drops on the bed, they kiss. The sound of a door opening gets them back on their feet) Rigsby: Hey. Room's good. Motel Maid: Thank you. Rigsby: Yeah. CBI - Hightower's Office (Hightower, Lisbon) Hightower (unpacks her things): Come in. Lisbon: Ma'am, I assure you, today's incident is not at all indicative of the unit's overall confidence. Hightower: You had a bad day, agent Lisbon. You screwed up. It happens. Now let's get to the work. This judge, the one who changed his mind about giving us our search warrant... Lisbon: Judge Withers, ma'am. He's kinda like a stubborn old bull... won't budge once he takes a position. We try to get Hightower: And he changes his mind because... Lisbon: He said we had method Hightower: Not what he said. The real reason. Patrick Jane insulted Hopper Banks, and Hopper Banks complained. Lisbon: Jane has unusual methods, but... Hightower: He closes cases, yes, he does. He's a valuable asset. We cannot afford to lose him. The way I see it... It's you that's in a tricky spot. Lisbon: Ma'am? Hightower: This bureau has seen some tough times lately. My mission is to turn that around and make the CBI the premier law enforcement agency in this state. Patrick Jane is a huge part of that goal. If you can't keep him in line, we'll find someone who can. Lisbon: Yes, ma'am. Hightower: You can go. I'll give Judge Withers a call, get you a warrant. (Lisbon leaves the office) CBI Corridors (Van Pelt, Rigsby, Lisbon) (Van Pelt and Rigsby get out of the elevator, Lisbon has meal in her hand) Van Pelt: Hey, boss. According to the information Slocombe dug up, Louis Anglet doesn't just deal in stolen antiquities. He's a hired gn, never indicted, but a prime suspect in three killings. And he hasn't left the country. He's still here. Rigsby: Multiple IDs, multiple arrests, but no jail time. He's a slippery customer. He looks good for it. (They enter Lisbon's office) Lisbon: We don't even know where Anglet is. What we do know is that every time Slocombe opens his mouth, he lies. We've got a bolo out on him. In the meantime, let's just pursue the case we're developing. Hopper Banks is still our prime suspect. Let's check out his house for the gn. Rigsby: We don't have a search warrant. Lisbon: We do now. Hightower got Withers to sign off on it. Ext. Daytime. Hopper Banks' house. (Lisbon, Bandino, Cho, Hopper Banks, Van Pelt) Lisbon (gets out of the car): Hey. Bandino: Hey, about the gn... Did you find anything? If you did, I hope you keep my name out of it... Lisbon: Go away, Mr. Bandino. Cho: Nothing so far. I got some more guys coming. It's a big house. Hopper Banks: Agent Lisbon, what is the CBI equivalent of Siberia? Because whatever it is, that's where you're going. Lisbon: Hold that thought, Mr. Banks. Van Pelt (arrives with paper in his hand): Look what I found in the home office. (a black and white picture of Jolene Banks with a fedora on head and a colt in hand) Hopper Banks: It's a picture of a prop. Cho: It's a picture of a colt, detective special, 38 caliber, 4-inch barrel... The same kind of gn klled our victim. Hopper Banks: A prop. Lisbon: Why don't we sort out which one at our offices, Mr. Banks? Hospital. James Smithson's room. (Francis Slocombe, Jane) Francis Slocombe (enters the room, James is on life support): Oh, Oliver, you idiot. You bloody idiot. (the curtain moves) Francis Slocombe: Who's that? Come out or I will sht. Jane (opens the curtains): Uh, I checked for you. Liverpool lost. Bad season, huh? Francis Slocombe: Injuries. You're expecting me, then? Nice work. Jane: Oh, you dropped everything, you risked your whole career to, uh, find him before your colleagues at the Yard. You followed us after he was sht. You're both Liverpool fans. He's family. Your son? Francis Slocombe: Yeah. My son. I was no father to him. Never married his mother. Never spent time with him at all, really. But I kept track. I tried. And look at him now. Look at my boy. He was a brilliant young man. From nothing, under his own steam, he got himself a scholarship to Cambridge to study Classics. That's what got him invited to preview the museum's new collection. Jane: And he stole the ring. Francis Slocombe: That was an impulsive act. He's not a thief. He's a foolish, rebellious kid. Jane: He took a copy of the ring in with him. It wasn't an impulsive act. It was a plan. Francis Slocombe: He's not a thief. Jane: You believe that, and that was your plan. If you could just talk to him, he'd return the ring, because he's... As you say, not a thief. Francis Slocombe: I could have. If I made it in time, I could have done that. Jane: And now you track down his kller and kll them. Francis Slocombe: Yeah, well, you know how that works. I read all about you, Mr. Jane. I know what happened to your family. Jane: Well, you'll end up in prison. Francis Slocombe: Maybe. But right now I'me gonna out of here. And you gonna let me. Jane: Obviously. You're holding a gn, and I have no real reason to stop you. Francis Slocombe: Thanks for being sensible. Jane: It's my middle name. (Slocombe leaves the room) CBI - Hightower's office (Hightower, Jane) Hightower: Hey. Jane: Hey. Hightower: I made a private word with everyone here. A kind of... set up Jane: Cool. It's, uh, an excellent practice. Hightower: Have a seat. Jane: Thank you. Hightower: I spoke to Lisbon yesterday... Jane: Mm-hmm. Hightower: Told her how deeply I value your contribution to the bureau. Jane: Nice to hear. Hightower: I told her you're too good to lose to some smart-ass move you might make that turns bad. I told her that if and when it happens, it's her neck. You...You're golden. You're safe for anything short of mrder. Lisbon... No. You mess up, she's out of here. Any questions? Jane: Not that I can think of right now. Hightower: Good. Thank you for your time. I look forward to working with you. Jane: Likewise. Thank you. See you around. CBI - Interrogation room. (Hopper banks, Lisbon, Cho) Hopper Banks: I knew the purchase was illegal. I just didn't want to get in trouble. Ironic. Cho: Where's the gn now? Hopper Banks: I have no idea. I haven't seen it since the sht, which is what, like six weeks ago? I thought it might be somewhere in my studio, but you guys would have found it, I guess. Maybe somebody stole it. Cho: That's not very credible. Hopper Banks: It's the truth. Van Pelt (enters the room): Boss? Lisbon (assisting in the questioning in an adjoining room): Yeah. Van Pelt: I was going through the files on Banks' laptop, and I found this and this in his telephone records. Lisbon (enters the interrogation room): Cho, you mind? Cho: All yours. (leaves) Lisbon: Mr. Banks, do you know anything about the theft of a ring at the British Museum? Cleopatra's wedding ring, supposedly. Hopper Banks: No. Why? Lisbon: We checked your browser history on your office computer. You looked up the theft of the ring two months ago, right after you let Stans move into your pool house. Downloaded quite a bit about it. Hopper Banks: I never did this. Lisbon: You also made several phone calls to a man named Louis Anglet, who we believe may have purchased the ring. Hopper Banks: Anglet? I've never heard of him. Lisbon: The calls are in your phone records. Jane's sofa (Jane, Lisbon, Van Pelt) Jane (on the telephone): I paid for overnight delivery. I was told guaranteed delivery before 10:00 a. m. And it's not here yet. Well, if it gets here by then that'll be fine. Thank you. Lisbon: No word on Slocombe? Jane: Never despair. Van Pelt brings hope. Van Pelt: Uh, we've been tracking this Anglet guy via cell phone. Off that, we got a bead on his credit card. The thing is, someone else is tracking his purchases as well. Jane: Has to be Slocombe. Van Pelt: And at 3:00 this afternoon, Anglet has a massage booked at the Blue Willow Spa, right here in downtown Sacramento. Jane: Mm-hmm. And chances are... Lisbon: Slocombe will show up. Jane (to Van Pelt): So good. Ext. Daytime. A courtyard, shops, café. (Rigsby, Cho, Francis Slocombe, Louis Anglet, Lisbon, Jane) Cho: I got Anglet. Louis Anglet (to a salesperson): Bottle of water, please. Rigsby: I see Slocombe. Francis Slocombe: Anglet? Louis Anglet: What? Francis Slocombe: Got a question for you. Louis Anglet: Oh, sorry, I think you have the wrong guy, but... Francis Slocombe: Hey. Did you kll my boy? Louis Anglet: No. Francis Slocombe: Did you kll my boy? (Slocombe stuns Anglet with a rfle butt) Louis Anglet: Get off me! Rigsby: CBI! On the ground! Slocombe! Slocombe, drop the wapon! Cho: Drop it! CBI. Team Office. (Francis Slocombe, Jane, ) Francis Slocombe (stirs a spoonful into a cup of tea): I just meant to question him. I don't know what came over me. I saw red. I'll end up in prison, just like you predicted. Very foolish. Jane (after drinking his tea): No. It's human nature. Francis Slocombe: Ah, it made me realize revenge is not for me. Pointless. More volence is just more volence. Doesn't make anything any better. Jane: Mm, maybe. I'm not so, uh... (Hightower joins them, paper in hand) Hightower: You're booked on the 8:00 to London tomorrow morning. Take it, and there'll be no charges pending. Francis Slocombe: Thank you. Hightower: I don't want to see you again. Clear? Francis Slocombe: Oh, yes, ma'am. Thank you. (Hightower leaves) Jane (gets up and bumps into an agent): Uh, th... that's mine. (the agent gives him an envelope) Yep. CBI. - Interrogation Room (Lisbon, Louis Anglet, Hightower, Van Pelt, Jane) Lisbon: Francis Slocombe, the man who was trying to kll you... Why was that? Louis Anglet: I have no idea. (Higtower attends a the interrogation behind a two-way mirror) Lisbon: We know that Slocombe was tracking you. We know that you came here for the ring. Louis Anglet: This ring must be very important. Van Pelt (enters the room where Hightower is): Anglet's lawyer's here. Louis Anglet: What kind of ring is it Hightower (enters the interrogation room): Agent Lisbon. Lisbon: Excuse me. (she leaves, joining Hightower in the corridor) He's tough. Hightower: Yeah, well, there's a reason why he hasn't been in jail. That's his attorney. Probably gets about $1,500 an hour. Let's spend a little time with him, run up the meter. Lisbon: Excuse me. I'm Agent Lisbon. Would you come to my office with me, please? Just up here. Jane (entes the interrogation room where Anglet is): Hi. Louis Anglet: Whoa. You don't look like my lawyer. Jane: I'll take that as a compliment. Louis Anglet: I'm not gonna answer any more questions. Jane: No more questions. I know you didn't kll Stans. You're too smart for that. But what you did do is you bought Cleopatra's wedding ring from his kller. Louis Anglet: Oh, the Cleopatra? (Hightower returns to the room where Jane is questioning.) Really? Queen of the Nile, the bride of Mark Antony? Jane: And here's what you got... One of these... $39 fakies. Considerably more if you have to get the overnight delivery. Not your fault. No reason to think it was a fake, obviously. Stans did steal the ring. That's why it's such a great scam. He can sell the same ring over and over. Now the person you bought the ring for... I'm guessing they paid more than $39 for it. How much did they pay for it? Huh? $200,000? More? More than 2? I think they're gonna be pretty mad when they find out it's a fake. Ohh! What do you think? Oh, man. Hightower (interrupts the interrogation): You can go now, Mr. Anglet. Your attorney's waiting. Jane: See you. (Anglet leaves) Hightower: You stay. Jane: Oh, I'm staying. Hightower: The phone and internet evidence suggests that Hopper klled Stans for the ring and sold it to Anglet. Jane: Yes, it does suggest that. Hightower: So you just put Hopper in a great deal of danger. Jane: Nah. Hightower: Nah? That's your considered reply? Jane: Yep. Hightower: Put a guard on Hopper asap. Lisbon (enters the room): Will do, boss. Hightower: You know, this is exactly the kind of scenario we talked about. Didn't think we'd get there so soon. You butt is on the line, Agent Lisbon. (elle sort) Lisbon: What did you do? Jane: Paid way too much for overnight delivery. Ext. Daytime. Terrace, Hopper Banks' house. (Jolene Banks, Hopper Banks, Vic Bandino, Lisbon, Jane) Jolene Banks: Maybe we should consider... Hopper Banks: Protective custody? No. No way. Vic Bandino: I'll put a team together, sir. Full protection 24/7, my 4 best guys. Lisbon: Mr. Banks, you don't understand... Hopper Banks: Sure, I do. You people convinced Anglet that I cheated him, and then turned him loose to kll me. That pretty much how it goes? Jane: Yeah, that's... that's pretty much how it goes. But for the record, Agent Lisbon had absolutely nothing to do with this. Lisbon: Jane... Hopper Banks: How gallant. Jane: It was all my idea. A... and we could have held Anglet if you were man enough to admit selling him the ring in the first place. Hopper Banks: That's it. Get out. You better pray nothing happens to my family. Ext. Night. A car in front of Hopper Banks house (Vic Bandino) (Bandino runs out of the house, bag in hand, he gets in the the car. Car will not start) Vic Bandino: Oh, come on. (Bandino gets out to look under the hood, he receives a punch in the face, falls to ground. As soon as he hits the ground, he is kicked several times.) Louis Anglet: Where is it? I want the real ring now. Vic Bandino: What are you talking about? I gave it to you. Louis Anglet: You sold me the fake. I want the real one now. Vic Bandino: I... I gave you the real one, all right? Trust me. I put a gn in that guy's face. There's no way he'd hand over a fake. (Police sirens. Many officers.) Rigsby: Put the gn down! Drop the gn! Louis Anglet: All right, all right, all right. Hey, what did I do? I just helped you catch the guy. All right, relax. Rigsby: On the ground! Van Pelt: Put your hands on your head. Rigsby: Let's see your hands. Up against the truck, Bandino. Go! Go! Let's see your hands. Victor Bandino, you're under arrest for the mrder of Oliver Stans. Yeah, you think being a cop's stressful? Try being a cop in prison, jerk. CBI Interrogation Room (Vic Bandino, Cho) Vic Bandino: I know my job. I do good background checks. I found out that Smithson was really Stans, found out about the ring. I approached him. We talked. He couldn't sell the ring. It was too hot. But I know some people who know some people that put me in touch with Anglet, and that was it. I brokered the deal. Cho: Why'd you kll Stans? Vic Bandino: He changed his mind. Didn't want to sell it. At the last minute, the idiot wanted to confess, return it to the museum. What was I supposed to do? Cho: You sht him. Vic Bandino: I had no choice. It was a spur of the moment thing. Cho: Right. No premeditation, no death penalty. The only thing? You planned ahead. You planted the phone and internet evidence on Hopper Banks. That doesn't look good. Hopital. Oliver Stans' Room. (Francis Slocombe, Oliver Stans, Jane) Slocombe: Goodbye son. Okay. (Slocombe says goodbye to his son. Jane watches from the hallway. The transplant team take Oliver) (Slocombe joins Jane in the hallway) Jane: Well, it appears I was... wrong about your son. He wasn't a thief. He wanted to return the ring. Slocombe: Anglet cut a deal, traded for his freedom. Jane: Way of the world. Slocombe: Yeah. It doesn't feel any better. Knowing who k*lled him, knowing he'll be punished... It doesn't make a damn bit of difference. I thought it would. But this... is what he wanted. I can give that to him now, thanks to you. Jane: Eh. Slocombe: Well, I better not Miss my plane. Time to say good bye. Jane: Yeah. Good bye. Slocombe: I wasn't gonna hug you. Jane: I know. Just making sure. CBI Corridors (Hightower, Lisbon, Jane) (We hear Jane talk in the distance. Hightower heads to Lisbon's office, Jane lying on the couch, Lisbon at her desk) Jane: Oh, no. there was a certain vulnerability, a certain rumpled gentleness to him. Lisbon: Vulnerability? Jane: Mm, I thought so. Yeah. Hightower: Comfortable? Jane: I'm getting there, yeah. Hightower: Regarding Agents Rigsby and Van Pelt... they're in a romantic relationship. Lisbon: Well, I mean... Well, romantic? Hightower: You're too good of a cop not to have noticed, and since you haven't done anything about it, I'm gonna have to take action myself. Just wanted to let you know first. Good night. (she leaves) Lisbon: Good night. (Jane sits on the couch) Jane (speaking of Hightower): She's good. The End	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x17 - The Red Box"}	foreverdreaming
CBI Office (Cho, sitting in his office serves tea) (Hightower, Cho, Van Pelt, Rigsby) Hightower: Agents? Cho: Ma'am. Rigsby: Agent Hightower. Hightower (on phone): Yeah. All right. Narcotics needs help getting intel on a meth house in the southwest. I said I could spare two of you. Rigsby: Sure. We'll get it. Hightower: Van Pelt and Cho. Cho: What's the job? Ext. Night. (Cho and Van Pelt) (they cross the street, go to a trash bag and retrieve its contents) Van Pelt: It's hard to believe there's intel in these. Cho: There better be. It's dripping on my feet. Van Pelt: Hightower knows about Rigsby and me. (they put the trash bags in the trunk of their car) Cho: Noticed that. Van Pelt: She knows, but she hasn't said anything. Why do you think that is? Cho: No idea. Van Pelt: If you could guess. Cho: I wouldn't. Van Pelt: I can't stop thinking about it. Cho: That's just gonna get you in trouble. (Cho starts the car, in the headlights is seen a blond woman who appears lost) Blonde Woman: Can you help me? Can you help me? (Van Pelt and Cho descendent de voiture) Cho: What happened to you? Blonde Woman: I lost my shoe. Can you tell me where I am? Cho: I'm, I'm gonna call this in, all right? Van Pelt: Ma'am. Ma'am. Blonde Woman: Can you... Van Pelt: Okay. All right. We're gonna get you some medical attention. Come on. Blonde Woman: Okay. Van Pelt: Come over here and sit down. Blonde Woman: Okay. Van Pelt: What's your name? Ma'am? Ma'am? (Jane arrives in his car and gets out) Jane: Grace. Van Pelt: Hey. She said she can't remember who she is, where she came from or what happened. No I. D. Nothing on her at all. Jane: Where's Lisbon? Van Pelt: She's on her way. E. M.T. S think the bllet grazed the victim's head. I thought we should talk to her here. She lost her shoe, so she couldn't have walked far. The crime scene's probably nearby. (they approach the stretcher where the blonde woman is being cared for) Jane: Good thinking. Van Pelt: So should we wait for Lisbon or... Jane: Na. (to the blonde woman) Hi. I'm Patrick Jane. How you doing? Blonde Woman: My head hurts. I don't remember who I am. Jane (rubs his hands to warm them up): Hold my hand. 'm gonna try and help with the pain. Okay, I want you to concentrate and let the pain flow out through your arm and into my hand. Just let it flow, like water. Ah, I can feel it. Can you feel that? Blonde Woman: Yes. Jane: Can you feel it flowing? Blonde Woman: Yeah. Jane: The pain is flowing away. Tell me your name. Don't reach. Just wait for it. Blonde Woman: I can't. Jane: Ah, that's okay. That's okay. What were you doing this morning, before you got hurt? Blonde Woman: I can't. Jane: It's okay. Don't worry. Tonight, then, before my friends found you, what were you doing? Blonde Woman: I, I was in a room. It's cold. Jane: Can you see anything? Blonde Woman: It's, it's too dark. Jane: Were you sitting in a chair or were you lying down? Blonde Woman: Lying down. Jane: On the floor or on the bed? Blonde Woman: On the floor. There's... dirt and straw. It makes me cough. Jane: What does it smell like? Blonde Woman: Horses. Jane: That's fantastic. Grace? Van Pelt: Yeah. We're looking for a sab. Jane: Yeah. [ EXT. Night ] Near a barn (Lisbon, Van Pelt, Jane, Cho) Van Pelt: Her shoe. Jane: Yeah, that's her shoe. (about to enter the barn) Hum, okay. (whispers): Guys, there's a light switch right here. (turns on the light) (three bodies are lying on the ground) Credits INT. Hospital (Doctor, Van Pelt, Lisbon, Jane, Jane Doe) Doctor: The bllet creased her skull. It didn't fracture the bone, but a ht like that can knock you around something wicked. She could have been unconscious for a while. Van Pelt: sh*t probably thought she was dad and dumped her with the other bodies. Lisbon: What about the amnesia? Doctor: I don't know what to tell you. Retrograde amnesiausually recedes with time, but I don't know how fast that'll happen. In the blond woman's hospital room. (Jane Doe, Jane who's playing a guessing game returns a card to the pack) Jane: Okay, what I want you to do is just focus on the queen. Here's the lady. Now you saw where she is. There's the lady. Okay. Now tell me... Where's the queen? (Jane Doe shows a card) Wrong. First boy you ever kissed. Jane Doe: I don't know. Jane: What's your first name? Jane Doe: I don't know. I'm sorry. Jane: Look, there she was. She was always there. Right in the middle. Lisbon (enters the room followed by Van Pelt): And the point it? Jane: Oh, I'm just making sure she has amnesia, which, by the way, you do. It's hard to lie when you're thinking about something else. Jane Doe: Great. Lisbon: We're checking our missing persons database, then we'll run your prints. Something'll probably come up. (Answers phone. To Van Pelt.) Find somebody to come in and print her. Van Pelt: Okay. Lisbon (on phone to Jane): Agent Hightower. Hightower (from his office at the CBI): Morning, Lisbon. As soon as it's practical, I want to see you, Van Pelt and Rigsby in my office. Hightower's Office (Hightower, Lisbon, Van Pelt, Rigsby) Hightower: I've been meaning to address this issue for a while, but there's been so much coming across my desk, I haven't had the time. First off, neither of you is denying you're in a sexual relationship? Are you? Van Pelt: No. Rigsby: No, ma'am. Hightower: You work together, you develop feelings. Nothing wrong with that. But you know very well it's against CBI rules, and like I tell my kids, rules are rules. If you want to stay together, that's your choice. But one of you has to transfer out of the unit. If you both want to stay in the unit, then you can't be together. That's what it is. Give me your decision tomorrow at the latest. Questions? Rigsby: No. Van Pelt: No, ma'am. Hightower: Okay. (Van Pelt and Rigsby leave the office, Lisbon is about to follow) Hightower: Lisbon, stay a moment. Why didn't you handle this situation yourself? Lisbon: I won't defend what I did, ma'am... Hightower: I understand these two sneaking around, but you're their superior. I expect more. I'll be writing a corrective memo. That's it. Thank you for your time. (Lisbon leaves the office) Team office (Cho, Jane, arrive Van Pelt, Rigsby followed by Lisbon) (Jane is drinking a cup of tea sitting on the couch) Rigsby: Don't want to talk about it. Lisbon: Cho, where are we with the victims? Cho: I verified the two I. D.s we found at the scene. Janine and Mitchell Langham from Chico, Both in their 50s, no family in state. Neighbor said that they were hiking in Kasten State forest. Lisbon: That's 100 miles from where we found them. Well, what about the third victim? Cho: Same as the Jane Doe. No I. D. Of any kind. The coroner says he's in his early 20s. I put his prints into the system. Lisbon: Van Pelt, did you get any hits on them? Van Pelt? Van Pelt: Uh, I'll check. I'll check. Cho: The coroner thinks that they were sht with a high-powered rfle, the Langhams up close, our Jane Doe and the unidentified male from a distance. Lisbon: Do either of the Langhams have a record? Cho: No. Jane: I think we can set the Langhams aside. I think they were by-products, weren't planned. Lisbon: Oh? Jane: Yeah. The first two victims were sht from a distance, I. D.s were taken. Two victims were sht up-close. I. D.S were not taken. Clearly, the first two victims were the targets. Cho: And when the langhams roll up to the scene, wrong place, wrong time. Jane: kller sht the Langhams, freaks out. Doesn't bother to take their I. D.S. doesn't even notice that one of the first victims that he sht was only wounded. Van Pelt: We got a ht on the male victim's prints. His name's Leonard Railton, Native American, lived on the Storm River Reservation. Rigsby: That's right next to the state forest. Van Pelt: Oh, he's been in and out of the system since his early teens, mostly small stuff, a couple of drug busts. No family listed. His emergency contact is his parole officer. Lisbon: Go and go show Jane Doe a picture of Leonard and the Langhams. It's worth a sht. Van Pelt: Okay. Lisbon: You guys check out the trail that the Langhams were hiking. It sounds like something's going on up there. (to Jane) Let's go talk to Railton's P. O. Jane (to Lisbon, squeamishly): Hey. There's no point in hiding your frustration with Hightower. I mean, sooner or later, you're just gonna explode with suppressed rage. Lisbon: With any luck, you'll be next to me. Jane: Well, that's what I'm worried about. CBI Corridors (Rigsby, Van Pelt) Rigsby: Grace. You okay? Van Pelt: Sure. No. You? Rigsby: This is a good thing, okay? No more sneaking around. We get to decide what we wanna do. Van Pelt: Do we know what that is? Rigsby: Let's just get through the day, and then tonight, we'll open up a bottle of wine and we'll talk, okay? Van Pelt: Yeah. Sounds good. I love you. Rigsby: I love you. (They kiss, Hightower sees them) In the probation officer's office (Lisbon, Jane, Dolores Brinton) Dolores Brinton: I thought Leonard had a chance, you know? Good kid. Really trying not to repeat old mistakes. Lisbon: How long were you Leonard's parole officer, Ms. Brinton? Dolores Brinton: A little over a year. Lisbon: He have any family we should speak to? Dolores Brinton: No, Leonard didn't have anybody. But his mother was Shoshone, grew up on the Reservation. That's why I got him to move there after he was released. Jane: Why the Reservation? Dolores Brinton: Leonard needed people in his life who cared about him. He could get that there. It's a small community, not too well-off, but tight. Jane: Do you live there? Dolores Brinton: Mm-hmm. My father's clan is from there. I'm Shoshone. Jane: Shoshone, uh with a New York Italian/Irish thing going on, if I'm not mistaken by the accent. Is that from your mother's side? Dolores Brinton: I'm not the first person who needed time to figure out who she was. Jane: Hum. Lisbon: Were there any indications that Leonard was doing anything illegal? Dolores Brinton: No. He had some problems when he first got there, but. (Jane examines a statue of an Indian in Dolores' office) About six months ago, he settled down, got a job, had a girlfriend in the valley. Lisbon: What was her name? Dolores Brinton: Derrien Hopwood. I met her a couple of times. No record. Good influence, I thought. Lisbon (she shows a picture of Jane Doe, Jane approaches Dolores): Is this her? Dolores Brinton: Uh... No, I don't know this woman. Jane: Positive? Dolores Brinton: I said no. Jane: I got it. (Lisbon snatches the photo from Jane's hands) Lisbon: Does Leonard have any friends on the reservation we should talk to? Dolores Brinton: You're going on the rez? Jane: Yeah. Dolores Brinton: Will the tribal police be with you? Lisbon: Oh, they're aware of the investigation. We'll keep them in the loop. Dolores Brinton: I should go with you. Lisbon: Oh, that's not necessary. Dolores Brinton: As far as some of them are concerned, you're foreigners, foreigners with badges. You won't get anything. I'll get my coat. Jane: Excellent. Well, we got ourselves a native guide. Lisbon: Yes. Ext. Daytime. Mountains half covered with snow. In the forest. (Cho, Rigsby, Ranger Tisdale) Rigsby: Janine and Mitchell Langham. Ring any bells? Ranger Tisdale: No, but I don't really meet people unless they're in trouble. Cho: Well, these people got into trouble. Been any reports of crime on the trails? Robberies, asault? Ranger Tisdale: No, just, you know, raccoons, birds, deer, rattlesnakes, bear. Rigsby: Well, I don't think a bear sht four people with a high-powered rfle. Ranger Tisdale: No, bears can't do that. Rigsby: Their neighbor said the Langhams would've walked the morningstar trail. Huh. Ranger Tisdale: Morningstar is not one of our more popular trails. (responds to a call from his walkie-talkie) Excuse me. I got, uh...Uh, Tisdale, stand by one. (to Rigsby and Cho) Look, I gotta go. I gotta go up the hill there. We have an animal control issue. Rigsby: Well, we need to check out that trail. Ranger Tisdale: Okay, uh... Okay, the trailhead is right over there. You just stay on the path. When you get to the fork, you go to the left, okay? Just stay to the left. You'll be fine. Rigsby: Got it. Left. Thanks. (Cho and Rigsby leave him alone in the forest) INT. Daytime. In Jane Doe's hospital room. (Jane Doe, Van Pelt) (Jane Doe looks at pictures of Janine and Mitchell Langham) Jane Doe: I don't recognize any of them. Van Pelt: Take your time. Think about it. Jane Doe: I have. These people are all dad, right? Van Pelt: Yes. There's one piece of good news. We ran you through the fingerprints database. You're not there. Jane Doe: How is that good news? Van Pelt: It means you're not a criminal... or you're a very, very good one. (shows him a photo of Leonard) Jane Doe: How's it going with the, um... missing persons thing? Van Pelt: Well, no one's filed a missing persons report fitting your description yet, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time. Jane Doe: Look, you had a job to do, and you did it. Thanks. You don't have to stay. Van Pelt: I'll stick around. Jane Doe: Okay. Thanks. In the forest (Cho and Rigsby) Rigsby: I've got a lot of time invested here, but if she leaves, we're into this whole sexism thing of whose job is more important. Like I said, it's complicated. Cho: No, it isn't. Rigsby: What? Cho: Which do you want more, job or Van Pelt? Rigsby: What? It, it's not that easy. Cho: Sure it is. This is the fork, right? Rigsby: No, we, we took the fork. Cho: No, I don't think that was the fork. I think this is the fork. Rigsby: Well, whatever. Go left. It's not that simple. Cho: Job or Van Pelt. All there is to it. In the Indian reservation, Lisbon's car arrives (Lisbon, Dolores, Jane) Dolores Brinton: The rec center's the community gathering spot. Leonard used to come here. (on the terrace of a building) (to Lisbon) This is Joseph Silverwing. He helped to settle Leonard in here. He's on the tribal council. (the man came to meet them) Joseph, these are the detectives from CBI I called you about. Lisbon (shakes hands with Joseph Silverwing): Teresa Lisbon. Hi. Jane (also shakes hands with Joseph): Patrick Jane. Lisbon: We're investigating the mrder of Leonard Railton. Can you tell us anything about him? Joseph Silverwing: He's a good kid. Worked hard. Stayed out of trouble. Lisbon: We heard he had a job. Joseph Silverwing: Down at, uh, Markham Willis's place. Dolores Brinton: It's a souvenir shop just off the reservation. Lisbon: Was Leonard having any problems? Joseph Silverwing: No. Lisbon: Did you hear about any arguments or fights? Joseph Silverwing: No. Lisbon: Money problems? Health issues? Joseph Silverwing: No. Jane (aside to Dolores): You're right. You really are opening things up here. (he departs) Lisbon: Do you know about any relationships He was having off the reservation maybe? Joseph Silverwing: No. (Jane enters the building, young people are playing pool) Jane (addressing the young people playing): Nice sht. Did you guys know Leonard Railton? I'll take that as a yes. I'm trying to find the person who klled him. Do you want to help me with that? (He picks up a red ball) Don't all speak at once. Who's gonna talk first? Youngster with long hair & blue and green striped t-shirt: We don't talk to po-po. Jane: Po-po? I like that. But I'm not po-po. I'm a po-po consultant. How about this? I bet that I can sink a ball before your best player can, and he can have three chances to my one, and if I lose... 50 bucks. Huh? But, if I win, you tell me about Leonard. We got a deal? Great. Who's your sharpshter? (he addresses a youngster with medium-length hair and white & blue striped shirt) It's you, isn't it, shorty? Let's do this. Youngster with medium-length hair and white & blue striped shirt: Okay. Jane (Places the balls on the table): All right. First ball in wins. You get three chances. I get one. Youngster with medium-length hair and white & blue striped shirt: Okay. Jane: And by the way, that girl you're crushing on, the one in the blue sweater, it's never gonna happen. She's into the tall guy. Good luck. Lisbon (enters): My money's on the kid. (the youngster misses) Jane: One. (the youngster misses again) Jane: Two. Last time. Good luck. Lucky last. (misses again) That's three. There's a hole in that ball. Here's the hard part. Jane (succeeds): Oooooh! Schooled ya. (seated at a table with youths) Okay, so, uh, what was Leonard's story? Youngster with mid-length hair and white & blue striped shirt: He had money. A lot of it. Youngster with long length hair and blue & green striped shirt: Always had the newest kicks. Jane: Since when? Youngster with mid-length hair and white & blue striped shirt: Like, six months ago. Jane: Well, I heard he had a job. Youngster with mid-length hair and white & blue striped shirt: Oh, yeah. At Willis's souvenir shop? That's pennies. Leonard had money. Jane: Any idea where that might have come from? Youngster with mid-length hair and white & blue striped shirt: He wouldn't say. But he was out in the woods all the time, so... We figured, you know? Jane: Yes? Youngster with mid-length hair and white & blue striped shirt: Everybody knows what goes on in the woods. Jane: Oh, sure. The woods. In the forrest (Cho, Rigsby) Rigsby: Yeah, this is not the trail. Cho: It's over here. Rigsby: Are you sure? I thought I saw it over here. Water tnk? (he looks suspiciously) Cho?! Cho: Yeah? Rigsby: There's a pot plant here. Actually, there's a whole bunch of pot plants here. Cho: It looks like a farm. Rigsby: Which means there's probably some bad guys with gn. (atmatic gn, they shelter behind the trees) Rigsby: No bars. So much for backup. Cho: There's only one sh*t. You draw fre, and I'll take him from the side. Ready? One... Two... Three! Go. (fring either side, Cho progresses towards the sht) Cho: Rigsby! Rigsby: Clear! Cho: Got it! INT. CBI office (Rigsby, Lisbon, Jane, Hightower) Rigsby: It's the kind of farm you find all over public lands, about an acre of plants, irrigation pipes everywhere. Cho: Must be tapping into water from up the valley. Lisbon: Did you ht the sh*t? Maybe he's in a hospital. Cho: Didn't see any blood. I doubt it. Lisbon: Do you think the ranger knowingly directed you toward the pot farm? Was this a setup? Rigsby: It's hard to say. We got pretty turned around. I'm not exactly sure we were on the trail. Lisbon: Where's the ranger now? Cho: Up in the mountains. Supervisor saysHe's out of calling range. Lisbon: Find out when he's back. Hightower: So it looks like Leonard Railton was working for the pot farmers. There's a hundred ways that could turn ugly. Jane: Meh. If Leonard was farmi the weed, he would've told his friends about it. Whatever he was doing, he felt shame or ambivalence. Hightower: Which takes the investigation where? Jane: Well, we haven't spoken to the girlfriend yet. Hightower: So go do that. You two talk to narcotics. See if there's a line on marijuana players in that area. Lisbon (to Rigsby and Cho): You heard what she said. In the apartment of Leonard Railton and Derrien Hopwood (Derrien Hopwood, Lisbon, Jane, a baby) Derrien Hopwood: We weren't living together or anything, just hanging out. Lisbon: So Leonard isn't the baby's father, Ms. Hopwood? Derrien Hopwood: Kai's father? No. Jane: But leonard liked your little boy, didn't he? Derrien Hopwood: Sure. Leonard bought most of the toys here. Jane: And this, uh... Enormous stack of infant formula. Derrien Hopwood: Yeah, like, 1,000 bucks worth. Jane: What's the story with that? Derrien Hopwood: Well, it's because Kai got this rash. It was going around, you know? A couple of kids had it. He had this idea it was the powdered formula. He made me throw all the powdered out, which is crazy, 'cause it's cheaper, and it's real easy to use. All you do is add water. Jane: How's the rash now? Derrien Hopwood: All gone. I guess he was right. Jane: You weren't surprised to hear about Leonard, were you? I mean, you, you cared for him, but you weren't startled to learn that he was dad. Derrien Hopwood: He had money, and not from that lame souvenir store job. He wouldn't tell me where he was gettin' it. My experience is, that means trouble. Lisbon: Your best guess? Derrien Hopwood: I don't know. Whatever else he was doing... He, he was always good to me and Kai. He was a good man. You find who did this. Lisbon: We'll do everything we can. (Jane amuses the baby in the park) Souvenir shop in the Indian Reservation (Lisbon, Jane, Markham Willis) Lisbon: Mr. Willis, how long was Leonard working here? Markham Willis: Uh... I guess about six months. I hired him on Dolores Brinton's recommendation. He was a great kid, good worker. Jane: Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. (Jane admires himself in a mirror wearing an Indian chief headdress) Pretty great, huh? This is fantastic. D, do you deliver? Markham Willis: As a matter of fact, we do. Jane: All right. Lisbon: Jane, put it back. Jane: What? Lisbon: You heard me. Now. Jane: Okay. (Jane sniffs) Lisbon: Now! Jane: All right. Lisbon: We think that, uh, Leonard was getting money from someplace else. Any idea what that was about? Markham Willis: No. He never said a word about it. What was he doing? Lisbon: We're still working on that. Markham Willis: I can give you a deal on that bonnet. Special law enforcement discount. Jane: Hum hum, you're not self-conscious about peddling your own culture, are you? Markham Willis: This is not my culture. This wr bonnet is from the gn people. It has nothing to do with us Shoshone. It's kind of a pastiche, really. But that's what you Americans want to buy, so that's what I sell. Lisbon: Thank you for your time, Mr. Willis. Jane? (Jane doesn't follow Lisbon out of the store) Jane! Jane: I'll meet you outside. (he looks at postcards, Lisbon leaves the shop) Is there some kind of service for Leonard? Markham Willis: Tomorrow afternoon, I believe. Jane (he has chosen a card): That's such a shame. I'm gonna take that. And I like this one, too. It's really beautiful. So that as well, and, um... This thing. (he also bought a flute decorated with feathers) I'll see if I can get a tune out of that. Just love those feathers. INT. CBI office (Jane lying on his couch, playing the flute) Jane (on phone): Grace, hi. It's Jane. How's it going with Jane Doe there? She get a clue yet? Mm, didn't think so. You know, bring her down to the office. I think we're gonna have to get a little more interventionist. INT. CBI Interrogation Room (Jane, Van Pelt, Jane Doe) (a postcard of a mountain river) Van Pelt: If you start to feel dizzy or woozy or, or anything. Jane: Grace, quit hovering. All right? She's fine. Van Pelt: I took her out of the hospital, Jane. She's my responsibility. Jane: I get that, but she's fine. Aren't you? Jane Doe: What are these? Jane: Oh, these are pictures of where you're from. Jane Doe: I don't know where I'm from. Jane: Sure you do. I'll lay money on the fact that you're a local. You have roots around here. You visited places like this as a kid. One of these pictures here will mean something to you. Jane Doe: I get nothing from that. Jane: What about this? Hmm? Rigsby (enters the room): Grace, a minute? Van Pelt: Oh, sure. I'll be right back. Jane (shows another postcard): This? Just relax. Don't work so hard. Look at that. Have you ever seen a more beautiful, more peaceful place? It would be cool if I could just say the word, and you could be right there. Listening to the birds sing... The wind rustling through the trees... The water lapping against the shore. If I could just say the word. INT. Another CBI Interrogation Room (Rigsby, Van Pelt) Van Pelt: Wayne, this couldn't wait? (Rigsby embraces Van Pelt) Rigsby: This is so simple. I love you... More than, more than this job, more than anything. Van Pelt: You got sht at today. You're pumped full of adrenaline. Rigsby: No, no. Well, yes, but that doesn't matter. I know what I want to do. I, uh... I talked to a guy in the San Francisco office today. There's an opening in the Major crimes Unit. It's only an hour and a half away. Van Pelt: You mean it? Rigsby: Please, let's just do this. I, I don't care where I work. I, I want you. Van Pelt: You really mean it? Rigsby: Yes, yes. Team Office (Rigsby, Van Pelt, Lisbon, Cho) Lisbon (seeing Van Pelt and Rigsby arrive together): Really? Now? Cho: Ranger Tisdale should be off the mountain in an hour, so... His bank records say he's depositing 2 grand a month over and above his salary, cash. Lisbon: Let's go talk to him. (Cho and Lisbon leave) In the forrest (Lisbon, Cho, Ranger Tisdale) Cho: Tisdale. Ranger Tisdale: I was gonna call you. I just heard. Pot farm. Doesn't that bat everything? Cho: Yeah, right in your own woods. Ranger Tisdale: Yeah. I've been hiking these trails for eight years. I had no idea. I don't know where you ended up, but you must've gotten seriously turned around. Lisbon: That's hard to believe when the pot farmers are paying you $2,000 a month. Ranger Tisdale: 2 th, I don't know what you're talking about. Cho: You're gonna have to come with us. (Ranger Tisdale kicks Cho in the stomach and runs away pursued by Lisbon and Cho) (Lisbon catches Tisdale) Cho: Nice work. Lisbon: Felt good. CBI Interrogation Room (Ranger Tisdale, Cho) Ranger Tisdale: Send you to the farm? I was trying like hell to keep you away from it. All you had to do was stay on the trail. Is that really so hard? Cho: So you were taking money from the pot dealers to protect their farm, right? (Behind the window: Lisbon, Hightower and Jane) Ranger Tisdale: They were paying me to direct tourists away and let 'em know if there were any local cops or feds snooping around. But that's it. Okay, these people who got klled, I never even saw them. Cho: I need the names of the people who paid you. Ranger Tisdale: I can't do that. Look, these aren't hippies growing weed in the forest, okay? These are serious, serious men. If they learn that I gave up their names, they'll kll me. Cho: Look, they know you've been arrested. They think you're giving them up right now. Now with these men walking around, you're in danger. Give us their names, and we'll lock them up. Ranger Tisdale: No, I can't. Cho: It's your call. You got a family? Ranger Tisdale: Uh, yeah. Cho: Well, I suggest you send them somewhere. Not out of town, get 'em out of state. Know anybody on the east coast? Ranger Tisdale: No. Cho: That's too bad. How about overseas? Hightower (to Lisbon): That's a first-rate interviewer you got there. Lisbon: Thank you. Jane (fait irruption pendant l'interrogatoire): Hey, what's up? So Rigsby and Cho tell me there was only one dude with a gn. That doesn't seem like much. Ranger Tisdale: No, it's not. Jane: So when you say, "These are not hippies, these are serious, serious men, " that implies many, scary men with large gn, right? Ranger Tisdale: Yes. Jane: So why just one? Ranger Tisdale: I don't know. They might be low on money. I mean, the, the crop is doing badly. Jane: Plants are dying? Ranger Tisdale: Yeah, yeah. And the word is that it's been going on for about six months, and nobody can figure it out, and they're really kind of freaking out about it. Jane: I'm sure. Hightower (entre dans la salle d'interrogatoire): Jane? Jane: Yeah? Uh, I think I gotta, I gotta go. I'll see you later. Thank you. (Hightoweer and Jane sortent) Hightower's Office (Hightower, Jane) Hightower: So what'd you get from the guy? Jane: The pot farmers didn't kll Leonard. Hightower: That so? Jane: Yep. Hightower: You certain? Jane: Well, certainty is the mother of fools. Hightower: So all this is just... guesswork with you? Jane: Pretty much. I mean, that's, that's what I do, I guess. For instance, I guess that you're married. Hightower: I'm wearing a ring. Jane: Well, I guess that you're married, but not happily. Not that there's divorce proceedings in place, but... possibly a trial separation. Hightower: Guess I should've put up a photo, huh? Jane: Hum, hum. Hightower: I know you're not giving me relationship advice, so I have to wonder why you would go there. I guess it's your way of expressing unhappiness. Jane: Mm, could be. Hightower: I guess it's your way of saying you're unhappy with the way I'm handling Lisbon. Jane: We spend a lot of time together. And when she's unhappy, uh, I'm less happy. It's human nature. Hightower: Yes, it is. I'll tell you what, Patrick. Why don't you let me handle my business my way and then judge me by the results? And I'll let you handle yours your way... Up to a point. Jane: That sounds fair. Up to a point. Yeah, very fair. We done? Hightower: No. Please don't interrupt interrogations. Jane: It's rude. That's a rule, is it? Hightower: Guideline. Jane: I'll keep it in mind. Hightower: Now we're done. Jane: Loving those pumps. Hightower (after a pause): Thank you. Jane: Bye. (Jane leaves the office, Hightower has a little smile) In the Team Office (Van Pelt, Jane) (Van Pelt working on his computer) Jane (looks through the papers on the desk of Van Pelt casually): Oh, what's this? Interesting. We need to take amnesia girl up to the reservation. Meet me in the parking lot in ten minutes. Van Pelt: Why take her to the reservation? Jane: They're holding a memorial for Leonard Railton. She should be there. She might remember something. Van Pelt: Worth a try, I guess. Jane: Oh, do me a favor. Hmm? Don't mention this to Lisbon or Hightower. Van Pelt: And why not? Jane: Well, why complicate things? Van Pelt: Complicate how? Jane: Hell, Van Pelt, you shouldn't have taken her out of the hospital in the first place. Your car, parking lot, ten minutes. Indian reserve. Funeral vigil of Leonard Railton (Jane, Jane Doe, Van Pelt, Joeseph Silverwing, Lisbon, number of inhabitants of the reserve) Dolores Brinton: Mr. Jane, what are you doing here? Jane: Well, we're here to pay our respects. It's okay. We won't eat much. Joeseph Silverwing: Leonard had only been with us a short while, but if you saw him walking a trail up at the lakes or riding a horse, you could see that he was home. So remember the old words. When a friend dies, we should not cry. We should not hate someone or fight. We should do right always. And we should listen to the old words and remember Leonard. If anyone else has something to say... Jane (takes the floor): Oh, I would. This woman was with Leonard when he was sht. She has lost her memory, so we brought her here today to see if a face or a place or anything could help her remember who she is. Dolores Brinton: This is kind of a sacred moment. Is this really the time? Jane: It'll take but a second. (to Jane Doe) Anything? Jane Doe: No. Jane: Never mind. The trip was not entirely wasted. I was also looking at all of you to see if anyone recognized her. And it seems to me that somebody here does know this woman. And that somebody is you, sir. (points at Joeseph Silverwing) Joeseph Silverwing: Me? I think you're mistaken. Jane: Prove it. Joeseph Silverwing: How? Jane: Look into my eyes and hold this. (he gives him a pencil) Now tell me you don't know her. Joeseph Silverwing: I do not know this woman. Jane (looks at the pencil): Okay. Um, um, okay. It appears that I'm mistaken, which is very good for you. That eliminates you from our inquiry. My apologies. Carry on. We'll just take our seats in the back. Thank you. And, listen, if you, if you don't want us here, then just say the word and we'll go. Just say the word. (They both move away) Joeseph Silverwing: I think it would be better. Jane Doe: I see it! I see it! I see it! I see it. (Lisbon enters the room) Jane (settles Jane Doe): Now just relax, breathe and tell us what you see. Jane Doe: There's a blue lake... Pine trees... A mountain... There's a bird singing. Jane: Tell us what's happening at this lake. Jane Doe: It's where the bad thing happened. Jane: What bad thing? Jane Doe: Go look. They... They left something on the shore. Jane: Who did? Jane Doe: Go look. They left something. They left something. I'm sorry. Lisbon: Okay, show's over. Come on. Outside (Van Pelt, Jane Doe, Lisbon, Jane) (Van Pelt helps Jane Doe into his car, Lisbon and Jane leave the room, heading for the car) Van Pelt: Watch your head. Lisbon: So Mr. Silverwing is gonna complain to our superiors in the strongest terms. Nice work. Jane: See, that's why I didn't bring you along, deniability. How did you know we were here? Lisbon: I had little, tiny G. P.S. Trackers Sewn into all your suits. Jane: For a second there, I almost believed you. Grace? Van Pelt: Sorry, Jane. I had to tell her. It's my job. Jane: Eh, that's not it. Lisbon (to Van Pelt): Get her back to the hospital. Van Pelt: Yes, boss. She did remember something. We have a clue. Lisbon: A lake in the mountain, something on the shore? Van Pelt: Could be where the mrder happened. Lisbon: There's over 50 lakes in those mountains! I'll take her back to the hospital. Jane: Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was going. I was trying to protect you. I knew I was gonna stir things up, and, what, with Hightower all... Lisbon: Don't. Don't ever try to protect me. I can protect myself from Hightower or anybody else. Jane: Okay. Lisbon: Let's go back to the office. Jane: We could. Or we could stay here and catch Leonard Railton's kller. Lisbon: How are we gonna do that? Jane: I need a cup. Paper or plastic, I'd prefer paper. In the mountains, near a lake (Lisbon, Jane) Lisbon: So Jane Doe didn't remember the lake? Jane (a paper cup in his hand): Posthypnotic suggestion. I showed her a beautiful picture of a lake and told her that she would remember it when she heard the trigger phrase, "Say the word". She remembered the picture, associated it with the crime and felt that something was left behind there. Lisbon: What something? Jane: Well, it, it doesn't matter. The kller's feeling paranoid now, so he or she will be compelled to go back to the scene of the crime and make sure that nothing was left behind. Lisbon: That's assuming the mrder occurred at the lake. Jane: Well, it did. Lisbon: Because? Jane: Because the pot crop died, and Leonard Railton was worried about the water his girlfriend's baby was getting... (Cho waits for them on the path) Cho: Hey, it's over here. Jane: ...and the water supply for around here comes from the mountain lakes. Cho followed whoever left the memorial to the lake. Lisbon: And? Who is it? Jane: We'll see. (Cho is looking across to the other side of the lake) Jane (to Cho): Where is he? Cho: Straight through the trees. (Cho and Lisbon s'approchent l'arme au poing de Markham suivis de Jane, son gobelet toujours a la main) (Jane looks with the binoculars, Markham Willis is walking along the lake looking at the ground) (Cho and Lisbon approach Markham, followed by Jane, cup still in hand) Cho (to Markham Willis): Hands up. Markham Willis: What's going on? Cho: Get your hands up. Markham Willis: No, I, I don't understand. (Cho handcuffs and searches Markham) What are you doing? Cho: rfle shell. Lisbon: Where'd you get that, Mr. Willis? Markham Willis: I just found it. I was gonna give it to you. Do you think it's connected to those mrder? Jane: That's the best you got? Cho: Why'd you sh*t those four people, Mr. Willis? Markham Willis: I didn't. Jane: Well, keep in mind that two of them, the Langhams, they were, uh, by-products, latecomers. But Leonard... Leonard you klled because of what's in the lake, didn't you? Markham Willis: I don't know what you're talking about. Jane: Toxic waste. Great, big barrels of it, I expect. Dumped by you. That's why the pot plants in the valley were dying. That's why Derrien Hopwood's child got a rash. Leonard was gonna tell, so you had to sh*t him and anyone else that just happened to come along that day. Markham Willis: I don't even know what to say. That is not true. Jane: Well, this is ground zero for the dumping, so the water here must be much more toxic (il rempli son gobelet d'eau du lac) than it is down in the valley. Markham Willis: That is nonsense! Jane: Really? Feeling a little parched? Have a drink. (Jane shoves the cup in Markham's face) Markham Willis: No. No. Lisbon: Why not? Jane: Oh, come on. Cheers. (the cup is close to Markham's mouth) Have a drink. Markham Willis (terrified): No. Jane: Little sip. Markham Willis (panicking): No. No, please, stop. No! All right! INT. CBI Interrogation Room (Markham Willis, Jane, Lisbon) Markham Willis: I tried to get so many ideas across the tribal council. But somebody didn't like it, or it wasn't culturally appropriate, or blah, de, blah, de, blah. So this guy said he needed to dump some stuff, and did I know any place on the rez that he could do it? So I had Leonard take them up to the lake. Well, I figured with his record, he'd take the money and keep his mouth shut. (Flashback. Night, a boat on the lake. From the boat someone dropped toxic barrels) Well, we went well. Got more trucks up there. I mean, something was finally working for me. And then that kid in the valley got a rash. And Leonard was worried. Said we were poisoning the valley, (outdoors day, Leonard and Markham argue) and if we didn't stop, that he was gonna blow the whistle. Then I overheard him on the phone, arranging to meet somebody up at the lake. So I went, too. (Leonard and Jane Doe near the lake. Jane Doe took pictures. Markham is on the other side of the lake and targets them with a rfle scope. They collapse both) Back to the present. Lisbon: When did the Langhams get there? (Flashback. Markham near the bodies of Leonardo and Jane Doe) Markham Willis: I was cleaning up. You know, what they doing there, anyway? (A couple appear next to him, he takes his gn and sh*t the two hikers) Back to the present. Jane: Um, they were taking a hike? Markham Willis: I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry. Jane: Well, that's okay, then. As long as you're sorry. Maybe we'll just let you go.(he leaves the room) I'm kidding. Jane Doe's Hospital Room (Van Pelt, Jane Doe in bed) Van Pelt: Got something for you. Your driver's license. We got it from Markham Willis. Your name is Camille Dillon. You live in Oakland. You're an Internet journalist and writer. We contacted your family. Your mom is on her way from Des Moines. Camille Dillon (looks at her driving license): My name is Camille? Van Pelt: Apparently, you taught Leonard Railton while he was in the juvenile system. A little while ago, he got in touch with you about... Camille Dillon: Wait. Something... something was wrong. They were... Someone was, uh, dumping... Van Pelt: Toxins. Camille Dillon: Y, yes. And he, he wanted people to know. He... He called... And he, he asked for my help. I rem, I remember him. I remember him asking for my help. I remember. I remember me. I know who I am. Night - Team Office (Rigsby, Van Pelt) Rigsby: Just let me finish this up, and we'll go talk to Hightower. Van Pelt: Wayne... Rigsby: What's up? Van Pelt: I love you. I do. But I think I love the job more. Rigsby: Well, job's not a problem. I'm gonna go. Van Pelt: You'd be leaving the unit... for us. Rigsby: So? Van Pelt: I don't want that responsibility. You'll hate me for it. Maybe not today, but someday you will. Rigsby: No, Grace, we... Van Pelt: I'm sorry. Rigsby: You're, uh... certain about this? Van Pelt: I know who I am. (she leaves) CBI Corridors (Hightower, Lisbon, Jane. Walking in the corridor) Hightower: Narcotics picked up the pot farmers off the ranger's confession. I also got a call from a guy named Silverwing about a stunt you pulled up on the Storm River Reservation. Jane: Well, I wouldn't call that a stunt so m... Hightower: Whatever. He was displeased. Lisbon: Yes, ma'am. I filled out a p-90... Hightower: You solved the triple, right? Lisbon: Yeah. Hightower: Nobody got hurt? Jane: No. Hightower: Then the hell with him. You got justice done. Keep up the good work. (gives a friendly pat on the arm, looking at Lisbon) Lisbon: That was unexpected. Jane: I'll say. (Jane and Lisbon are heading to the elevator) Jane (to Van Pelt): Hey, Grace. Van Pelt (without turning): Hi. Lisbon: You all right? Van Pelt (in tears, she enters the elevator): I'm fine. Lisbon (following Van Pelt in): Okay, but... Jane (doesn't enter, makes an excuse): Yeah, I just... I just, uh, forgot my... stuff. (The elevator door closes on the two women) The End	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x18 - Aingavite Baa"}	foreverdreaming
Old Town, Sacramento, California. (Van Pelt, a man with a hood on his head) In a very dark alley, Van Pelt comes out of a restaurant, someone observes a parked car. Man calls Van Pelt. Hooded Man: Hey! Van Pelt: Are you Mr. Black? Mr. Black: Yeah. Van Pelt: You scared me. Mr. Black: Hum hum. Yeah. Van Pelt: So... I just... (hands him an envelope, which he refuses to take) Mr. Black: Tell me why I'm here. Van Pelt: I have something I need done. Mr. Black: So do most women. You're gonna have to be more specific. Van Pelt: Right. Yes. Sorry. Van Pelt: Um, what I need... I don't know quite how to put it. Mr. Black: Well, you're just gonna have to open your mouth. And say it out loud in full detail. Like you're talking to your priest. You show me yours. I'll show you mine. That's how it works. Van Pelt: Okay. Here. (She shows him a picture of Rigsby) I want you to kll him. How much do you charge? Credits (black screen) "Thirty-six Hours Earlier" Ext. Night. in a city street (Lisbon arrive by car, Rigsby is expecting, many police cars) Rigsby: We think she was klled about an hour ago. Neighbor heard screaming, called 911. Lisbon: Anybody see anything? Rigsby: We've got sac P.D.canvassing, but so far nothing. Just an average night. Jane: Average night, average neighborhood, average mrder. Why are we here? (they enter a house, the police are already on site) Lisbon: Because the victim is Assistant District Attorney Kelly Flower. Jane: You worked with her. Rigsby: Yeah, we all did. Kelly was good people. Van Pelt: Forensics found a casing. Said it was 9-mil. Rigsby: Almost point-blank, judging from the stippling. Deputy coroner said no sexual asault. But her nightgown's ripped and tangled. Lisbon: She was crawling in it. Jane: Remodel? Lisbon: Kelly's one of us. Hightower's already approved the overtime. You know the drill. Jane: Why is that the drill? I mean, for everyone else, it just looks like for your own, you try harder. Van Pelt: We do. Lisbon: It's a deterrent. It sends out a message, nobody gets away with klling a cop, a judge or a D.A. Rigsby: Cho can get a list of Kelly's cases, see who she put away that held a grudge. Jane: It's not a deterrent. It's revenge, really. I mean, and that's not a criticism, 'cause I'm all about revenge. I mean, revenge can be very productive. Lisbon: Productive? Jane: Well, take Rigsby. Van Pelt breaks up with him. Now he's in the best shape of his life. I mean, he's hitting the gym, what, six times a week? Look at him. He is brimming with sexual confidence. Rigsby: Jane, cut it out. Van Pelt: Not on my account. It's fine. Jane: See? Fine. My point, there is nothing wrong with revenge. Lisbon: Van Pelt, any damage to the windows or the back door? Van Pelt: No, nothing. No sign of forced entry, so either she let him in, or... Rigsby: Husband's here. Jane: He let himself in. (a uniformed police officer and he support a man between them) Jayden Flower: Oh, my god! No! Kelly, no! No! No! God, no! Day - CBI Building (in the Team Office) Cho: Tiffany wants you to call her back. Rigsby: Oh, thanks. Cho: Said to tell you you're a very bad boy. Rigsby: Did she? (turns) Agent Hightower, hi. Hightower: Morning. You two know Marc Odenthal from the D.A.'s office? Rigsby: Sure. Hi. Cho: Hi. Hightower: We're gonna talk with the District Attorney. What can you tell me about Kelly's case? Lisbon: We're looking at anybody who had access to the house Cbs From work, the neighborhood, the local dog park, anywhere. Hightower: Husband? Lisbon: Flower was too upset to talk last night. Jane and I are heading over there now. Cho: And we've got a list of past defendants. At least four have expressed written or verbal thrat. Marc Odenthal: The D.A.told me to give you this. It includes her current cases. Cho: Hang on. Hank Draber. The smuggler? Hightower: Smuggling drugs, conspiracy to mrder. We haven't been able to lay a glove on 'em before. Marc Odenthal: Draber's trial was supposed to start next week. I just got judge Hildred to grant a continuance. It's gonna take me three months just to learn the file. Lisbon: Go. Take Van Pelt. Cho: All right. Ext. Daytime. Port of Sacramento (Van Pelt and Cho in the middle of clarks coming and going) (a man emerges from a shed) Van Pelt: There he is. Mr. Draber! (the man continues on his way, they find him in another shed, gn surround) Hank Draber: What do you want? Flower residence. (Lisbon, Jane, Jayden Flower) Lisbon: So how are you getting along lately? Any problems? Jayden Flower: You... My wife is dad, andyou're wasting your time on me? Lisbon: Mr. Flower, I knew your wife. Now we're gonna find out who did this, even if it's you. You understand? So how were you two getting along? Jayden Flower: We loved each other. Everything was good. Jane: How was the remodel? That can be stressful. Jayden Flower: Things were good. But that day, we fought. That's why I went to the movies, over her hours. It... It was just so stupid. She was so stressed over that draber case, you know? She called it her "career-maker. " That's what she said, "career-maker." Lisbon: So you argued. Did it turn physical? Jayden Flower: No. I loved her. I would never do anything like that. Never. (between them, a single man) Man: Mr. Flower? I got the tarp on the roof in case it rains before you want me back. Didn't mean to interrupt. I'll get out of your hair now. Jayden Flower: Thank you. That's our contractor Cale Sylvan. He's, uh... Jane (shakes hands with Cale): Patrick Jane. Cale Sylvan: How you doing? Jane: Good. You're standing in the... (points at the pool of blood) Can I ask you a question? Uh, would you recommend a flash hot water heater over a regular one? I mean, I was leaning towards flash. But they're very expensive. Cale Sylvan: Well, you know, flash will pay for itself in energy savings pretty quick, but it depends on consumption. Jane: Of course. That's a very good point. Um, do you have a card? Cale Sylvan: Sure. Jane: Great. I'll maybe give you a call. Great. (Cale leaves the house) Well, thanks for your time, Mr. Flower. Thank you. (on the steps of the Flower residence) Jane: Cale Sylvan is a dangerous psychopath, and he klled kelly flower. Lisbon: How's that? Jane: He had access, and he looked evil. Lisbon: And... Jane: When I told him he was standing in her blood, what was his reaction? Not horror. Not embarrassment. Lisbon: No emotion at all. All right. I'll run him. Jane: Excellent. Having prints might help, no? In a shed, the Sacramento Harbour Wharf (Van Pelt, Cho, Hank Draber, an old woman in a wheelchair, gn) Hank Draber: You know, you guys should be more careful. You almost got yourselves sht. It's a good thing you look like cops. Cho: We could take you in, but you'll lawyer up. And we'll all waste a lot of time. But here we can have a nice conversation, right? Hank Draber: Yeah. That sounds reasonable. Cho: Fine. Kelly Flower was all set to fry your ass in court. You were looking at 20 years, easy. Now the trial's been postponed who knows how long. That gives you motive for her mrder. Old Woman in a wheelchair (she has just dropped a piece of paper): Oh, that one's a winner. I know it is. Van Pelt: Here you go. You like the lotto, huh? Old Woman in a wheelchair: None of your business. Hank Draber: Mom. Come on. Annabelle Draber (to Van Pelt): You have pretty hair. Hank Draber: My mom's a little senile. Cho: Now who'd take care of your mother if Kelly Flower put you in jail? Hank Draber: You know, klling a prosecutor is, is almost as bad as klling a cop, right? It's not something I want to get my hands dirty with. I got enough problems as it is. Right, mom? Annabelle Draber: Close your mouth, muffin. INT. CBI office (Lisbon, writing, Jane lying on the couch. Between them, Rigsby) Rigsby: Well, Jane's right. Sylvan is a kller. Jane: You know, it feels good to be right. Rigsby: Prints brought up these I. D.S. We got Carl Sennett, a witness in an accidental drowning in Arizona. Cory Sampson, who lived next door to a ht-and-run victim in seattle. And Chad Sewell, wanted for questioning about the mrder of his boss, a bank executive in Reno. We have four other deaths that Sylvan's linked to In some other way. Lisbon: He's not just a kller. He's a serial kller. Jane: Well, Saddle up. Lock and load. Do what you do. Go, go bring him in. Rigsby: We can't. Lisbon: Nope. Jane: What? Lisbon: All we have is that Cale Sylvan liked to change his name. Not illegal and that bad luck followed him. We don't even have enough for a search warrant. Jane: He'll kll again. You, you know what he is, Lisbon. Lisbon: Knowing isn't proving. Rigsby, have Cho set up on Sylvan's house 24-hour surveillance. If he shows up, have Cho follow him. Maybe we'll get lucky. Rigsby: Okay. (he leaves) Jane: This, this is ridiculous. I... Lisbon: I know. Jane: I'm gonna go with Cho. Lisbon: Go. EXT. Day (Cho and Jane concealed in a car outside Sylvan's apartment) Jane: Sylvan's smart enough to know we'll be here. He won't be coming back. It's a waste of time. Cho: Yep. Jane: What are you reading there, Cho? Cho: "Wuthering Heights." Jane: Well, I'm gonna take a stroll. (he gets out of the car, puts his head to the window) Let me know how it ends. Cho: Not well. CBI Building - Lisbon's Office (Lisbon, Rigsby, Van Pelt) Lisbon: Cho said Jane ditched him at Sylvan's. Have you seen him? Rigsby: Nope. There's something hinky here, boss. These are photos of some of the victims linked to Sylvan. Lisbon: Different ages, sexes, races. Rigsby: Exactly. A serial kller almost always hunts the same kind of prey. This doesn't make sense as a serial kller's M.O. Van Pelt: It does when you look at Sylvan's financials. I tracked bank records for all the I. D.S. we could find. Sylvan received substantial payments just before and just after each death. Lisbon: He kills for money? He's a ht man? Jane: A psychopath who made money from his hobby. It's outstanding. You do something you love. You never have to work a day in your life. Lisbon: Where the hell have you been? Jane: Me? Oh, I've been around. Van Pelt: I found a web site registered to one of his old identies. It says to "call Mr. Black for odd jobs of any sort." Jane: Well, I guess we should give him a call. Grace, do you happen to have any photographs of, uh, you know, ex-boyfriends? Back in the alley (Van Pelt, hooded man) In a room not far from Van Pelt (Jane, Lisbon, Rigsby) Van Pelt (She shows him a picture of Rigsby): I want you to kll him. How much do you charge? Jane (in Van Pelt's earpiece): Ask him again, Grace. You're a busy lady. You don't have all night. Van Pelt: You gonna answer me or not? I want the bastard dad, soon. Jane (to Lisbon and Rigsby): She's convincing. Rigsby: Trying to work here. Jane: Okay. Mr. Black: I charge $50,000. And what you're asking is pretty easy. I mean, you just gotta have to stop thinking of him as a person. The rest is just a physics problem, gravity, force, torque. Jane (in Van Pelt's earpiece): Ask for proof of what he does. Van Pelt: Torque is well and good, but I need to know that you're for real. See, maybe you're a hitter. Maybe you're a cop. Lisbon: Long sht. Jane: Trying to work here. Mr. Black: Let me show you somethin'. (he pulls out a Knfe thrat) How's that? Lisbon: Let's move. Jane (in Van Pelt's earpiece): No, no, no. It's a test. Grace, listen. Listen very carefully. Mr. Black: Are you a cop? Van Pelt: I'm not a cop. I'm just careful, like you. I just want to know that I have the right man. Jane (in Van Pelt's earpiece): Besides, don't you want to show me... Van Pelt (repeating what Jane told him): Besides, don't you want to show me. So you can make me afraid? That's what you like, isn't it. Seeing the fear? You show me yours, and I'll show you mine. Mr. Black: I have something to show you then. Just watch for a second. (a video on his mobile phone. The mrder of Kelly Flower) "Kelly Flower (she crawls on the ground): Oh, wait. Oh, please!" Mr. Black: Look at it. It's my last job. The client was very happy. Jane (excited): Proof. That's proof. Proof. Mr. Black: Are we gonna do business? Van Pelt: Yes, we are. Rigsby (comes out of hiding wapon in hand): CBI! Drop the Knfe! (Lisbon, Cho, a number of police officers appear) Chot: Don't move! Rigsby: Hands on your head! Lisbon: Drop the Knfe now! Rigsby: Don't move! On your knees! Lisbon: Cale Sylvan, you're under arrest for the mrder of Kelly Flower. Rigsby: Hands on your head! Lisbon: Jane, you can come out. Jane: Okay. Lisbon: How'd you know he had proof? Jane: Well, he's a narcissist. Needs affirmation, trophies. Lisbon: Who paid you to kll Kelly? Jane: Tell 'em. You'll feel better. Mr. Black: I would like to talk to my lawyer. And II'll see you clowns in court. INT. Daytime. Sacramento County Courthouse corridors (Jane, Lisbon) Jane: Catching Kllers I enjoy, but being reminded that we're just a cog in a petty, fascist machine, that is a little depressing. Lisbon: Crime-fighting is hard. Suck it up. If you weren't on the witness list, I wouldn't even let you in the same time zone as Judge Dread. Jane: "Judge Dread", can't possibly be as much fun as it sounds. On a TV screen, images of the mrder of Kelly Flower Courtroom (Lisbon testifies) "Kelly Flower: Oh, please! Please! What do you want? Oh, god! Oh, god, don't hurt me! Oh, god! Oh, god, don't! Please! Please!" Dana Munn (Cale Sylvan's Lawyer): Your honor, I object. This video is inflammatory and prejudicial. Although we'll stipulate to the fact That Kelly Flower was mrder, we reserve our right to deny that there is probable cause my client committed said mrder. And we also object to the chain of custody for this video. Jane: Is that even a sentence? Judge Hildred: Quiet in the gallery! You say another word, and you'll regret it. Jane: Well, I'm... I'm sorry, your honor, but this woman is spouting nothing but ludicrous pettifoggery. And, uh, I'm a little hungry. Lisbon: Your honor, if you'll let me down, I can handle him. Judge Hildred: Mr. Jane, that is your name, correct? Jane: That's correct. Patrick Jane. Judge Hildred: Well, this court hereby fines you $1,000. Jane: Make it $2,000, and let me tell this, uh, tiresome woman to move it along. Judge Hildred: $2,000 then. Jane: Okay. Judge Hildred: Counselor, you heard the man. Move it along. Dana Munn: So, agent Lisbon, let's get back to this video. That night was the first time you'd ever seen it? Lisbon: Yes. Dana Munn: Are you sure? Marc Odenthal: Objection. Asked and answered. Dana Munn: I'll move on, your honor. So you never entered Mr. Sylvan's apartment and looked at the video. On his computer or instructed anyone else to do so? Lisbon: No. Dana Munn: Well, then I need you to answer a puzzling question. Your honor, I would like to enter this into evidence as defense exhibit one. Jane: Oh oh. Dana Munn: I got this mug from Mr. Sylvan's sink. But he didn't put it there. Lisbon: So... Dana Munn: So tell me, how is it that this mug has Mr. Jane's fingerprints on it? Agent Lisbon, did your consultant break into Mr. Sylvan's home without a warrant? Lisbon: No. No, of course not. Marc Odenthal: Your honor, may I have a moment to confer with agent Lisbon? Judge Hildred: You make it quick. This is getting interesting. Bailiff. (Lisbon and Marc Odenthal approach Jane) Lisbon: That's how you knew Sylvan had proof. You'd already seen it. Jane: I have no idea what you're talking about. Marc Odenthal: Tell us what happened now. Jane: I was with Cho. We were staking out Sylvan's place. I decided I wanted to take a walk. (Flashback - Cale Sylvan's appartment) I happened upon Sylvan's door, unlocked. And like any concerned citizen, I went in to look around. And checked that the place hadn't been robbed. Then I left. That's it. Lisbon: Oh, crap. Judge Hildred: What's the story, Mr. Odenthal? Marc Odenthal: Your honor... Mr. Jane did enter Mr. Sylvan's residence, but only because he feared there was an intruder inside. Dana Munn: You mean one besides himself? Jane: I, it's not like I took anything, your honor. Marc Odenthal: Your honor, what Mr. Jane is trying to say is that he's not a state agent. He's a private consultant. Therefore, there's no fourth amendment violation. Dana Munn: Mr. Jane is a charlatan who has made a mockery of our legal system on numerous occasions. In fact, a few months ago he refused to take a woman to the hospital for poisoning until she confessed to a mrder. Jane: She was not poisoned in the first place, and it was just a very clever ruse... Judge Hildred: Quiet, Mr. Jane. For what it's worth. You should be ashamed of yourself anyway. You, too, agent Lisbon. You're the law. I hold Mr. Jane's search to be illegal, and any evidence discovered then or during the sting is hereby excluded as fruit of the poisonous tree. The video, out. Any statements made by the Defendant to agent Van Pelt, out. Marc Odenthal: Your honor, I object. Your anger is clouding your... Judge Hildred: Mr. Odenthal, do you have any evidence of any kind that your consultant hasn't crapped all over? Marc Odenthal: No, your honor. Judge Hildred: Well, then the People v. Sylvan is hereby dismissed for lack of evidence. Mr. Sylvan, you're free to go. Jane: This is ridiculous, your honor. Jayden Flower: This is wrong! This don't make no sense! Cale Sylvan (to Jane): I'll be seeing you. Jayden Flower: He klled my wife! How can he go free? Judge Hildred: Bailiff, bring in the next case. Marc Odenthal's Office, on the wall the head of a stuffed bighorn (Marc Odenthal, Lisbon, Jane) Marc Odenthal: I had a confession. I had video. I had an airtight case. And it's all out. How could you break into his place? Jane: Easy. The lock on the back door was very flimsy. Lisbon: Marc, I apologize. I do. Jane: I, also, I didn't think I'd be found out. I mean, how was I to know they were going to dust for my finger prints? Marc Odenthal: You let a kller back on the streets. Jane: Actually, I got the kller off the streets. Keeping him off the streets, your job. Marc Odenthal: You're blaming me? (he takes a wapon from an evidence box, which is placed on a coffee table and brandishes it) I'm not the one who got the mrder wapon tossed. Jane: Court is theater. Whatever side has the best liar wins. Usually that's you, but today she was better. Marc Odenthal: You're an arrogant little bastard. Jane: Whoa, easy with the steel, brother. Marc Odenthal (checks it isn't loaded and places it back in the box): Oh, relax. It's not loaded. Lisbon: Look, Marc, there is no double jeopardy here. We can still take this to trial. I will find new evidence. I promise. Marc Odenthal (to Jane): You're a menace. When I'm D.A., you'll never work with this office again. Jane: So ambitious. Lisbon: Not your call, Marc. Not then, not now. Marc Odenthal: You're defending him? Jane: Thank you, Lisbon. Lisbon: Shut up, Jane. INT. Night - Hightower's Office (Hightower, Lisbon, Jane) Hightower: I thought you two trusted each other. Lisbon: So did I. Jane: We do. I, we have trust. I, I didn't tell her because I didn't want her to be complicit and then have to lie about it later. Hightower: Some partnership you got going on here. I'll have to send you home while the professional standards unit. Does its thing, five days at least. Jane: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not her fault. Hightower: That will be the P.S.U.'s determination, no doubt. This is just the situation we talked about, Patrick. Agent Lisbon is responsible for the actions of her team members. Including you. Lisbon: Yes, ma'am. Is that all? Hightower: Yes. (Lisbon leaves the office) Jane (following Lisbon): Look, Lisbon, I'm so sorry. I really am. Hightower: Jane. (Jane stands in front of the office) Lisbon needs some time off. A few days off will do her good. Nice talking with you. Jane: Yeah. (he leaves the office) Team Office (Lisbon, Van Pelt, Cho, Rigsby, Jane subsequently) Lisbon: Rigsby, go back through Sylvan's financials. Van Pelt, take another look at Kelly's video of her mrder. See if we missed anything. Rigsby: Hey, we'll serve up Sylvan as your welcome back present, okay? Jane (to Cho and Rigsby watching disapprovingly): It's a little chilly in here. (to Lisbon) Do you want to go get a coffee? Oh, come on. Look at the bright side. You've five days off. You've five days off from me. Lisbon: Cho, you're in charge. He's your problem now. (she leaves) Jane: That's good. Cho's a big boy. He knows how to look after me. (Cho and Rigsby throw him the same disapproving look) (to Cho) You want to get a coffee? In a cafe (Jane, Cho seated with cups in front of them) Jane: Did you bring a book? Could be a bit of a wait. Cho: What are we doing here? Jane: You're still mad with me about Lisbon's suspension. Cho: Yeah. It's your fault. Jane: Yeah. You know, mrder takes risks, sometimes in order to catch these risk takers, we have to take risks. There can be fallout. Cho: Tell me what's going on or I'm outta here. Jane: Okay. I looked in Sylvan's kitchen cabinets. Not much of a tea selection. He's a coffee geek. Drinks only the best, fresh-roast coffee. And the best fresh-roasted coffee in Sylvan's neighborhood... Cho: Is in this place here. That's kind of thin. Jane: Yeah, but I'm 100% confident that it... (Cale Sylvan takes a place in the queue) Thank goodness. Cho: Look, the judge warned us not to talk to Sylvan without his lawyer. Jane: Talk? This is two guys bumping into each other in the coffee line. Cho (Jane gets up and goes to Cale Sylvan): Jane... Jane (Jane joins Cale Sylvan in the queue): Cale? Oh, that's a funny coincidence. Cale Sylvan (turns to Jane): I told you I'd be seeing you. Jane: Yeah. Well, you look well, (pats him on the back) I gotta say. You're in a very relaxed state. Now confess that you klled Kelly Flower, and a huge burden will be lifted. Cale Sylvan: Funny guy. Sense of humor. That's great. Jane: Yeah. Well, maybe I did something wrong. Sorry to, uh, bother you. Cale Sylvan: Accidents happen. (Jane returns to the table where Cho waits) Cho: Hypnosis. Great plan. Jane: No, that would be silly. Hypnosis is illegal. That was a misdirect so that I could search his Jacket pockets and find...this... (he opens his right hand and is shocked to discover ...) Cho: A button, fluff and some sand? Jane: Yeah. It's a little anticlimactic. Um, do you have an evidence baggie? Cho (rises and leaves): You're walking home. Jane: Or I could just carry it. CBI Team Office (Rigsby, Van Pelt, Cho) Rigsby: So Sylvan's financials are clean. There's just one thing I don't get. The end of every month, he withdraws just over 2 grand in cash. He has no family, no girlfriend. Cho: Sounds like rent. Rigsby: His apartment's only $900, and he writes a check for that. Cho: No, not his apartment, his home. A place to store his tools, process his victims, keep his trophies. Rigsby: A mrder house. And if he's paying cash, it's a fair bet the name Cale Sylvan won't be on the lease. The place could be anywhere. Van Pelt: Maybe I can narrow it a little. Look at this. This is from the Sylvan mrder video. The bag he's holding, it's from ABS gym. We show his picture around the gym. Maybe we find someone who knows his other address. Rigsby: There's a dozen abs gyms around here. It'll take days to canvass 'em. Cho: I'll start with the ones by the river. The sand Jane found In Sylvan's pockets, it's river sand, not ocean sand. Rigsby: How'd you know? Cho: We're in Sacramento. We got a river, not an ocean. Van Pelt: There's only one abs gym near the river, on Dos Robles. Rigsby: On my way. Cho: If you get an address, go straight to judge Hildred and get a search warrant. We'll take down Sylvan today. Ext. Daytime. On a dilapidated white wooden fence, a sign: "PRIVATE PROPERTY. KEEP OUT" (one nears the house) (sitting in a chair, a man watches a black and white gangster film, on a flat screen, he eats crackers) (we hear someone gagged trying to talk) Cale Sylvan: Aw, shut up. You shouldn't have embezzled all that money, you big baby. (In the background, a man is lying on the kitchen table, bound with tape) (he gets up) Time to go to work. (picks up a kitchen Knfe, which was next to the package of crackers, goes over to the gagged man) I don't think you're gonna want to look at this. (he grabs the Knfe with both hands lifted above man, a smoke grenade lands at his feet) What was that? (Cho, Rigsby, police storm the house) Rigsby: Freeze! Freeze! Let me see your hands! Let me see your hands! (fight with Cho and Van Pelt and they overpower) Cale Sylvan: Get your hands off of me! Get your hands off me! Cho: Hook him up. Cale Sylvan: It's not me. I hope you brought more people. Cheating son of a bitch. Rigsby: (to the gagged and taped man): You're okay. You're okay. You're safe now. Cho (to Van Pelt): You got it? There we go. (they leave the house, it's dark) Rigsby: I sent the victim to the hospital. He'll be okay... After three or four years of therapy. Cho: Good. Yeah, that look's not so scary when you're in handcuffs, buddy. Either you tell us who hired you or you're looking at a slam-dunk death penalty. Cale Sylvan (leaning against a police car): Maybe we can come to some kind of arrangement. Rigsby (sees a red light on Cho's shirt, he shoves him): Cho, get down! (sht, Cale Sylvan collapses) Rigsby: 10-33. shts fired. Van Pelt: Man down. We need paramedics now. G.S.W. to the chest. Rigsby: sht came from the north of location. North of location. Let's get a bird in here now. Cho: The son of a bitch is dad. Ext. Daytime. (coroner's investigation team search the ground around Cale Sylvan's house) Cho (to a police officer who made him sign a piece of paper): Call in another team for the back of the house. Thanks. (to Rigsby, who arrives) That's eight bodies so far, and that's just the ones Sylvan's clients didn't want found. Rigsby: They're gonna be clearing missing persons cases for a month. Cho: Any luck on the sht? Rigsby: Not much. kll sht came from that hillside. Over two football fields away. Cho: That's a tough sht. So I guess whoever employed Sylvan hired a second sh*t to cover his tracks. Rigsby: The thing is, how did that client know that Sylvan had become a liability? Cho: That's a good question. Where's Jane? Ext. Daytime. In front of a warehouse at the port of Sacramento (Jane Lisbon) Jane (meets Lisbon getting out of the car): Hey! Lisbon: This better be good. I was catching up on my tivo. Jane: Liar. You were reading. But what? Progress reports? Lisbon: No. Jane Whatever. This is gonna be a lot of fun. I'm going into the Drabers' lair. Lisbon: It's not a lair, it's an office, and no, you're not. Jane: Oh, yes, I am. They seem kind of scary. You wouldn't want me to get hurt, would you? Lisbon: Don't bet on it. W, why the Drabers? Jane: A hunch. They're key in this somehow. Lisbon: You think they hired Sylvan? Jane: Well, Sylvan looked the part. Lisbon: Why the hell didn't you call Cho? Jane: Well, you were closer. Lisbon: Call Cho. I'm not even armed. Jane: More lies. You have at least two gn in that car. Three? Oh, my... You're the poster girl for the N. R.A. In the Draber's shed. (Jane, Lisbon, Hank and Annabelle Draber) Hank Draber: I'm telling you, I've got nothing to do with the prosecutor dying. And the Sylvan guy, never heard of him before I saw him on the news. Jane (to Annabelle Draber, who is scratching lotto games): Hello. Hi! Annabelle Draber: Gonna win big. Gonna buy a washing machine. Jane: She's a treasure. You want to leave her alone? Hank Draber: She's a little soft in the head, okay? Jane: You know, Hank, as you were talking to Lisbon here, I couldn't help but notice you kept looking at your mother, as if you were checking for her approval. I mean, most tough guys are scared of their mothers, but, Hank, you were quaking. Hank Draber: Your friend's crazier than my mom. Jane: Digging those nails. Plucked eyebrows, coiffed hair. Did you do the, uh, makeover, Hank? No, didn't think so. Annabelle Draber: Time for my stories, Hanky. Jane: Okay, Hanky. Hank Draber: You are upsetting her, okay? So leave her alone. Lisbon: Easy. Jane: This is brilliant. (turning to Lisbon) Lisbon, this is brilliant. (talking to Annabelle Draber) You, you are a treasure. You're running this whole operation, aren't you? Hank's just a figurehead to take the heat. Tell me I'm right. You know, I should have checked the shoes. (Annabelle Draber rises from her wheelchair goes next to her son) Annabelle Draber: Damn it, Hank. I told you about looking at me, didn't I? Did you mean: (to Jane, who is jubilant) You think you're so damn clever. Well, clever is as clever does, and you've just made a very stupid move. Boys! Jane (two armed men arrive): Oh, dear. Annabelle Draber: How clever are you now exactly? Lisbon: We're cops. Just be cool. Put the wapon down now. Annabelle Draber: You put your gn down, Miss Lisbon, and you can live. (doors of a container open in front of Lisbon and Jane) Hank Draber: Come on. Get in. (they enter, the doors close, they are almost completely in the dark) Jane: I was right about Annabelle anyway. Lisbon: Congratulations. (a clark carries a container, removal truck starts up) INT. CBI office (Van Pelt, Rigsby, Cho) Rigsby: So we're good, right? You're not gonna put a ht out on me? Van Pelt: You've moved on. That's good. I've moved on, too. Rigsby: Well, I'm glad. That's a relief. Cho: You guys heard from Jane? Van Pelt: No Rigsby: No INT. container (Lisbon, Jane) Lisbon (she taps on the wall of the container): Hello?! Anybody?! Hello?! (Jane near a barred "window" is exasperated by all the noise) Jane: I can't really see anything. There's kind of a draft right here, though, if you just... Just there. Lisbon: No food, no water. This is not good. Jane: Well, I suppose we should draw straws to see who eats who first. Lisbon: Yeah, right. Draw straws with a professional cheat. Jane: Why so grumpy? It's not like we're gonna die here. The Drabers don't want us dad. Come here and get a little bit of this breeze. It'll cheer you up. Come here. It's not quite as nice as a river breeze, but it's not bad. You feeling that? Good. Lisbon: River breeze. Wait a minute. I live nowhere near the docks. Jane: Well, that's good. It's a terrible neighborhood. Lisbon: You said you called me because I was closer, but the H.Q. is only 15 minutes from the docks. Jane: I'm, I'm just, I'm bad with distances, always have been. Lisbon: Patrick Jane, you were trying to help me. You were. You thought if I made a big bust, the P.S.U. would get off my back. Jane: You know I'm always gonna save you, Lisbon, whether you like it or not. Lisbon: I don't need to be saved. I knew this would end a disaster the day I signed on with you. One day I'm gonna get fired because of you. That's just the way it is. Jane: Right. Well, some people might ask why you signed on with me in the first place. Lisbon: We catch a lot of bad guys. Most days, that's enough. Also, I... Jane: I think I hear something. Someone out there. Lisbon: Where? Jane: Hello! Lisbon: Hello? Jane: Over here! Lisbon: In here! Jane: Around the front. The, the big latch. I told you I would save you, Lisbon. (un enfant tenant une corde avec au bout une chevre leur ouvre, ils sont au milieu de nulle part, presqu'un désert. Il s'éloignent en suivant l'enfant) (a child holding a rope with a goat. They are in the middle of nowhere, almost a desert. The goat follows the child away) INT. Daytime. CBI Building (Rigsby, Van Pelt, Cho) Rigsby: Sac P.D. found Jane's car at the docks. Lisbon's too. Van Pelt: Crap. Rigsby: No sign of them or the Drabers. Cho: Call sac P.D., I.C.E. and the coast guard. Have them search every vehicle... Warehouse and boat the Drabers own. Van Pelt (answers the phone): Van Pelt. Slow down. Rigsby (passes the call): Agent Rigsby. Van Pelt: Um, sí. Uno—uno momento, por favor. (hands the phone to Rigsby) Can you? Rigsby (he finished his call): I'll call you back. Van Pelt: It's the Federales, I think. Something about Jane and a goat? Ext. Daytime. Courthouse in Sacramento. In a courtroom. (Marc Odenthal, Judge Hildred, Jane, Lisbon) Marc Odenthal (to the jury): Louise Willett robbed the very people she was supposed to be taking care of, and she spent that money. (Jane enters the room, followed by Lisbon, both bedraggled) Jane (interrupting Odenthal): Ipso facto, ad nauseam. Sorry, Odenthal. I need to borrow your judge for a second. Judge Hildred: Uh, Mr. Jane, we are in session. Jane: Yes, we would have come earlier, but, uh, we had quite a long walk getting here. It won't take a second. We just need one of your fancy arrest/warrant thingies for Annabelle Draber. (cellphone rings) She'll give you the details. Marc Odenthal: Jane, get out of here. Judge Hildred: Mr. Jane, there are no phones in my courtroom. Jane: I'm very sorry. Just a minute, Cho. I'm kinda busy. Judge Hildred: That's $1,000, Mr. Jane. Jane: Sure. Uh, listen, I'm kinda in the middle of something, so I'll call you back. Judge Hildred: $2,000. hang it up. Now! Jane: (to the judge) Sure. (on phone) Really? Judge Hildred: $3,000. Jane: Listen, Cho, uh... Judge Hildred: $4,000. Defense Counsel: Your honor, I move for a mistrial. Judge Hildred: $5,000. Marc Odenthal (to Jane): You're not costing me another case. Give me that phone. Jane: No. Get your own. (he flicks Marc Odenthal on the nose) Marc Odenthal: Your honor, battery? Judge Hildred: Bailiffs, would you arrest this man, please? Jane: Lisbon, this... The policeman in the room: Hang on. Jane: Cho. Lisbon: I'm on suspension. No badge, no authority. (Jane is handcuffed behind his back) INT. Daytime. CBI Team Office (Jane, Cho) Jane (sitting on the sofa reading a large book): Oh, thanks for bailing me out. Lisbon wasn't answering her phone for some reason. Cho: The judge is really pissed, so is Odenthal. They want to make an example. Jane: Hum... Cho: It's not just contempt of court, Jane. It's battery. Jane: Battery against a peace officer. Penal code section 242 "et seq."I love the latin. You know there's 30 kinds of battery charges? Cho: Yes. Jane: This stuff is fascinating. You know, I could be my own lawyer. Cho: You're gonna represent yourself? You represent yourself, you're an idiot. Jane: Uh, it's actually "he who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client." It's much catchier. Could be fun, Cho. In the courtroom (Jane, Judge Hildred, Marc Odenthal) (Jane sat on the witnesses chair leafs through the Penal Code of California) Judge Hildred: This may be a, hum, a somewhat informal hearing, but you still must respect this court, or you will go directly back to jail. Do you read me? Jane: Yeah, you bet, your honor. Jayden Flower (sits down next to Lisbon in the room): Mr. Jane asked me to come. Do you know why? Lisbon: I have no idea. Marc Odenthal: Let's get right to it, Mr. Jane. Is it true that yesterday, you tweaked the Assistant District Attorney's nose in this very room? Jane (laughs): Speaking of yourself in the third person, Marc. Y, you gotta admit, sounds a little silly. Yes, I tweaked your nose. Marc Odenthal: Your honor, we're done here. Mr. Jane admits the crime. Jane: But in my defense, you were being very annoying. Judge Hildred: Mr. Jane, you're out of order. Jane: You're out of order. You're out of order. This whole trial's out of order! Oh, come on. You gotta admit, you walked right into that one. Okay. All right, my turn to question you guys. Marc Odenthal: Yes. Wait."you guys"? Plural? Jane: Well, you're both witnesses. Oh, Uh... When I'm cross-examing myself. (to the judge) Do, do I have to stand down there and ask the questions and run back up here and answer them? Judge Hildred: Mr. Jane, you stay put. Jane: Okay. Judge Hildred: Mr. Odenthal, you take a deep breath. Pro perdefendants are given a certain amount of latitude. You know that. God help us all. Jane: Judge Hildred, are you now or have you ever been a member of the communist party? Judge Hildred: What? No! Jane: Mr. Odenthal, do you own a gn? Marc Odenthal: Wait. What? Jane: Are you a good sht? Don't answer that. How about you, your honor? You any good with a gn? The person that klled Cale Sylvan, they estimated, was more than 200 yards away. That is a great sht. It's why we assume there was a second ht man. Judge Hildred: Mr. Jane, please sit down. Jane (to Marc Odenthal): Were you having an affair with Kelly Flower? Judge Hildred: No. Jane: But isn't it true that you delight in klling small furry animals? You're a hunter. Marc Odenthal: This is irrelevant. Jane: Oh? This is how we solve a mrder. Are you saying you don't want me to solve a mrder? Judge Hildred: Of course I do. Jane: Then answer the question, sir. Answer it, or tell me why you won't. Judge Hildred: I go duck hunting every season. Jane: And what kind of gn do you use to kll these defenseless ducks? Marc Odenthal: A 10-gauge gn. Jane: And would you consider yourself a very good marksman? Judge Hildred: Uh, last season I bagged a mallard at, uh, 60 yards. Jane: Oh, that's not bad. Not, not bad at all. 0-gauge, 3-inch shell. 3 inches of hell. 3 inches of death. Marc Odenthal: 3 1/2. I mean, I think. Right? Jane: So you must be a hunter, too. Marc Odenthal: No. I... Jane: Then what's that dad beast in your office, Marc? What is that? Did you just get it off craigslist? Marc Odenthal: Well, I, uh, I mean, yes, I used to hunt, just not anymore. Jane: But you still know your way around a gn, don't you? (flashback to Odenthal's office when he "toyed" with the wapon in front of Jane and Lisbon) "Oh, relax. It's not loaded." You own your own rfle, don't you? You heard that the judge had issued a warrant for Sylvan's mrder house. And you knew that you had to silence Sylvan, before he talked. (flashback during the mrder of Cale Sylvan) "Cho, get down!" You had to silence him before he named you as his client. The client who hired him to kll Kelly Flower. Marc Odenthal: Your honor, this is completely ridiculous. Jane: So prove it. Let us search your house. We don't find a gn, I'll apologize. Judge Hildred: Let him do the search, Marc. Marc Odenthal: No. Jane: No? Marc Odenthal: No. I don't have to do that. I have rights. And you're obviously prejudiced against me, judge. And I'm going to take that up with the chief judge. In fact, I'm going to do that right now. (he turns away and attempts to go away) Judge Hildred: You should stay put, counselor. Bailiff. Lisbon: Don't move. The policeman in the room: Sir, your hands. CBI interrogation room (Lisbon, Jane, Marc Odenthal) Lisbon: The gn that klled Sylvan, a Remington 700, with scope, from your garage. Jane: Oh, and, uh... We got a warrant. You're right. A lot better with one of these. Lisbon: You're a good prosecutor. You know what this means. A snper rfle, lying in wait, mrder with special circumstances. Jane: Hello, death penalty. Lisbon: But if you're willing to come clean about Kelly's mrder, the D.A. will take death off the table. That is the last and only offer you'll get, you miserable sack of crap. Jane: I realized the Drabers didn't hire Sylvan when they didn't kll Lisbon and me. If they don't kll cops, they're certainly not gonna kll an Assistant District Attorney. But the Drabers were connected somehow, weren't they? 'Cause their case was a "career maker", according to Kelly, and you wanted to be D.A. someday. Marc Odenthal: The Draber case would have made me a lock for D.A. Jane: Oh, yeah. Marc Odenthal: And it should have been me. I had seniority. It was mine, and the bitch took it. Jane: So you hired Sylvan to kll her. Marc Odenthal: Yes. Lisbon: And when Sylvan was arrested, you, told him you'd fix it, that he'd walk. As prosecutor, you had that power. Jane: Then you had Sylvan tell his attorney to investigate me. Marc Odenthal: The whole D.A.'s office knows how you operate. Craziness. I thought there was a good chance you'd stepped over some line or other. Turned out you had. Lisbon: It's all right. He's learned his lesson. Jane: Yeah, I have. I certainly have, Lisbon. I won't be stopping for tea again... Hightower's Office (Hightower, Lisbon, Jane) Hightower (on phone): And lights out at 9:30, and your sister at 9:00. No. 9:30. I love you. Bye. Lisbon: You wanted to see us, ma'am? Hightower: Yeah, yeah, sit. Before I make any final decisions, I want to make sure I understand what happened. You disrupted a courtroom, asault an officer of the court. So you could question him and nearly caused a mistrial in an unrelated felony case. Is that about right? Jane: Yeah, that's pretty accurate. Hightower: You ignored your suspension, confronted a gng of criminals without any backup and then participated in Mr. Jane's disruptions, asault, etcetera? Lisbon: Yes, ma'am. Hightower (She closes the file she was reading): All right, then. Lisbon: I'm sorry. I don't understand, ma'am. Hightower: The CBI just busted a crooked D.A., rooted out corruption and solved the mrder of one of our own. Jane: Awesome. Hightower: By the way, I.C.E. picked up the Drabers at the Canadian border. The D.A. announced he'll try the case himself. Jane: We should have done that in the first place. Hightower (takes briefcase and leaves office): I'll tell the P.S.U. to terminate your suspension. Welcome back. (She turns at the door) Oh Patrick, Judge Hildred's clerk called. You owe the court $16,000 in fines. He needs a cashier's check. Jane: Well we caught the bad guys Lisbon: Yes we do. Jane: Most days that's enough. Lisbon: Yeah! Jane: You hum, want go to range, drink something? Lisbon: I drive. (she leaves the office on her heels Jane)	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x19 - Blood Money"}	foreverdreaming
Ext. Daytime. A property overlooking the sea, a garden party. Harrington Estate, Atherson, California Alex Harrington: Let's do it. Thank you, Sadie. Mm-hmm. My friends, I am so proud and happy to welcome you to this celebration of my son Xander, the new C. E.O. of Harrington Media. Where is the little cuss, anyway? Late for work already, not a good sign. Tara Harrington: Elizabeth, text him, would you? Elizabeth Stanfeld: I got it. Tara Harrington: Um, I am sure my husband has a very good excuse for his... (a disoriented man appears at the top of the stairs) Ah, there you are, Xander. (hand on his bloody neck, he collapses) Indoors (in the office Xander Harrington, Cho, Jane, Lisbon, Rigsby) Cho: That's what klled Xander Harrington, and this is where he was attcked. Now the blood trail starts here, right where the letter opener was found. The deputy coroner says it was a single sab wound to the neck. Lisbon: Mmm. Cho: Now the blow sends him backwards. He slams his head, goes down. He's dazed, slowly bleeding out for a good 20 minutes or so, then somehow gathers himself up and goes for help. Coroner couldn't believe he even made it out to the party. Rigsby: Party which was for him. Guy just got a big promotion. Had a wife and kid. How sad is that? Lisbon: Sad. Anything else? Rigsby: Well, according to the victim's father, there was a confidential business file on this desk that's gone missing. Nothing else taken. Jane: What was the file about? Rigsby: Plans for the "Daily Observer", newspaper. Debt restructuring, cost cutting, layoffs. Lisbon: Layoffs? Jane: Any "Observer" employees invited to the party? Ext. reception (At a table, 2 women, 2 men) Jane: So you're reporters for the, uh, "Observer." Xander Harrington, man of the people, huh? Inviting the ink-stained wretches. Homme I: Xander was a good guy. Lisbon: Did any of you hear about the layoffs that were coming up soon? Homme I: Layoffs? What layoffs? Jane: Well, actually, there's, uh, quite a long list. Yeah. It appears that no one is safe. Must be very scary in the newspaper business these days. (to a young woman in red dress) That's a very lovely dress. Great color. Heather Evans: Well, thank you. I'm Heather Evans. Jane: Hello, Heather Evans. You're very attractive. Mm. It's probably why your name's not on that list. Good-looking women live in a different world. Heather Evans: Excuse me? What's this list you keep mentioning? Jane: Oh, come on, Heather. The list that was in the file that you took off Xander Harrington's desk. Everyone here, we mention layoffs, and everyone here reacts except you, because you have read the list. Heather Evans: Oh, that's ridiculous. I didn't go anywhere near Xander's desk. Jane: Bravo. Very well played, considering the stress you must be feeling right now. You know, I was hoping to dazzle you all with my uncanny Detective skills, but you force me, you force me to just reveal the humdrum facts and point out that you have blood on your shoes, Heather. Heather Evans: Wha... Lisbon: Could you step out of your shoe, ma'am? Jane: "Stop the presses"? That's the phrase, right?" Stop the presses." Yeah. Got it. Always wanted to say that. Credits CBI Building (Interogation Room, Cho, Heather Evans) Cho: Xander Harrington caught you snooping in his office, and you klled him. Now maybe you didn't mean to do it. You were surprised, scared. Heather Evans: No, I didn't even see him. It was dark. No lights. (flashback): Curtains were drawn. I went to the desk, I took the file, and I ran. If I'd known he was... My God, I would never have... Cho: How'd you know that there was a list at all? Someone told you. Who? Heather Evans: A confidential source. Cho: And you'll go to jail to protect this source? Heather Evans: Ed. Edward Harrington, Xander's brother. He, um... He said there were gonna be layoffs on Monday. (Lisbon and Hightower attend the interview in the adjoining room) I just, I just wanted to know whether or not I still had a job. It's a very good job. Cho: Not anymore, it's not. Tell me exactly what happened from the beginning. Lisbon: Ma'am? Is there, uh, I, is there something specific that you wanted? Hightower: No. No. Just keeping apprised. Lisbon: Huh. Hightower: Alex Harrington is the owner of the seventh largest media conglomerate in the world. Lisbon: Yes, ma'am. Hightower: And you don't want to disappoint a man who owns 200 TV stations and a national newspaper. Lisbon: No, ma'am. Van Pelt (enters the room): Looks like Heather's cleared. Timeline puts her at the bar at the time of the attck. That's according to several male guests who remember her well. Lisbon: Figures. Only leaves 196 party guests and 42 staff as potential suspects. Start with the brother. Van Pelt: Okay. (leaves the room) Hightower (to Van Pelt): Take Rigsby. Hightower: Problem? Van Pelt: Nope. Not at all. Lisbon: Ma'am? You're giving my team assignments? Hightower: I know. I'm sorry. Should've been your call. I just want to make sure those two can hack it. Lisbon: Fair enough. Harrington property (in the hall of the house) Lisbon: The head of your security said that the house is fully wired, but the family asked the cameras inside be turned off? Why's that? Alex Harrington: I take responsibility for that. Tara Harrington (a baby in arms): No, it's my fault. I'm Tara, Alex's wife. This is Ella. And I'm the one who had the cameras disconnected. It's my fault. Alex Harrington: It's nobody's fault, dear. Hush. Jane: Why'd you do it? Tara Harrington: Cameras and panic rooms and armed guards, it's a lot to take. I hated feeling watched in my own home. Seems so silly now. I'm sorry. How long until you take that horrible stuff down? Lisbon: Forensics has promised to release the crime scene as soon as possible. I am so sorry for any inconvenience. Tara Harrington (the baby starts to cry): Excuse me. (hands the baby to father in law) Alex Harrington: Uh, I'm too upset. Jane: Uh, m-m-may I? Thank you. (the baby stops crying in his arms) (the group enter a living room) Lisbon: So, uh, you and Xander were close? Tara Harrington: He and Sadie were my only true friends. People seem more interested in befriending your money and connections when you're married to the C.E.O. of Harrington Media. (The baby still in his arms, Jane is followed closely by the nanny) Harrington: Yes, I suppose it can be difficult at times. By the way, it's former C.E.O. Xander forced me out. Lisbon: Really? Alex Harrington: Really. (to keep the nanny quiet, Jane gives her the child) Alex Harrington: He convened the board, secured the necessary votes. Jane: Son staged a coup. Alex Harrington: Yes. You have any idea the guts it takes to pull that off Xander proved he could lead. I've never been prouder of him. Proud of, uh, Eddie, too, my other son. Jane: Well, of course. But Xander had the strength to lead, the guts. That's important to you, isn't it, guts? Alex Harrington: Of course. Guts, heart. What else is there? Jane: Spleen, liver, kidneys, uh, genitalia. Lot of important stuff there. Alex Harrington: Are you being flippant with me? My son is dad. Jane: Forgive me. I, I was. Lost myself for a second. Forgot where I was. (se tournant vers un tableau au mur) But, you know, that, that's a very beautiful painting. Very nice work, yeah. Lisbon: Can I talk to you for a moment? (she leads Jane out of the room, into the kitchen) Quit that! Jane: What? Lisbon: Poking the bigwig. Jane: "Poking the bigwig." Ah, I like it. It's got a nice ring to it. Lisbon: I understand it's compulsion you're not fully in control of, but I wish you would try. It would make our work a lot easier if you did... try. Jane: Did you see that? Lisbon: What? Jane: Right outside that window. There's a pink unicorn. Amazing! Lisbon: Now you're hallucinating. Jane: No. No, no, look. It's right outside the window. (a child comes out from under a table) Seriously, look. It's a unicorn! Little Blonde Girl: I want to see! (the little girl approaches the window where Jane is) I don't see a unicorn. Jane: It's right there. (Jane whispers in the ear of the child) I'm trying to trick her. Little Blonde Girl: Oh. Yes. What a nice unicorn. Jane: Yeah, very nice unicorn. So you like to have secret tea parties? Little Blonde Girl: How did you know about the tea party? Jane: Oh, you know, I kind of like secret tea parties, too. I'm Patrick. That's Teresa. Lisbon: Hi. Little Blonde Girl: I'm Ashley Harrington. (she shakes hands with Jane) It's a pleasure to meet you. Jane: You, too. Now who's your mom and dad? Ashley Harrington: Xander Harrington and Sadie Cardozo Harrington. I know my address and phone number, too. Lisbon: Very good. Patrick and I are actually looking for your mommy. Do you know where she is? Ashley: Outside. We could go cheer her up. Lisbon: Is she sad, sweetie? Ashley: She misses daddy. He went away on a trip. Lisbon: Yes he do. Dans une piece. (Van Pelt, Rigsby, Ed Harrington, a masseuse) Van Pelt: Mr. Harrington, you prodded Heather Evans into going into your brother's office, didn't you? Ed Harrington: I told her the file was on the desk. What she did with that information is her problem. Rigsby: You're the West coast head of media operations, and you tell an employee about a confidential layoff list? Ed Harrington: Well, I had a feeling she'd be grateful. And she was. Van Pelt: You exchanged the information for sex. Ed Harrington: Yes. I did. Van Pelt: Gate security has you leaving the party just before your brother died of his injuries. Ed Harrington: I didn't know what had happened, and I didn't particularly want to watch his coronation, frankly. It's boring. Forgive me, Xander. Rigsby: Did you kll your brother, Ed? Ed Harrington (to the masseuse): Would you give us a second? No, I did not kll my brother. Rigsby: Well, you didn't seem that sad about his death. Ed Harrington: Well, maybe I just don't display my emotions to cops. Rigsby: Maybe. Ed Harrington: Look, I'd like to tell you that Xander and I were the best of friends, but we weren't. We're just different people. We were different people. He'd... Always do the right things, say the right things. Dad would say, "jump. " He'd ask, "how high?" Van Pelt: And you? Ed Harrington: Dad never asks me to jump. Ext. Daytime. the Harrington's garden (Ashley, Jane, Lisbon, Elizabeth Stanfeld) Ashley: Mommy! Mommy! Sadie Harrington: Baby, Hmm? Ashley: We're going to get ice cream. Sadie Harrington: Okay. One scoop, okay? No spoiling dinner. Ashley: Okay. Elizabeth Stanfeld: One scoop it is. And I'll e-mail you the Arizona overnights. You've got that conference call tomorrow with the affiliates. Sadie Harrington: Okay. Thanks, Elizabeth. Elizabeth Stanfeld: Come on. Jane: You haven't told her? Sadie Harrington: How do you tell a 6-year-old her father's never coming home? Jane: Well, she pretty much knows already. She just doesn't understand it yet. Sadie Harrington: Nor do I. I just, I keep thinking Xander would know exactly what to say to her. It's so stupid, huh? Lisbon: Xander must have had enemies, business rivals that resented his success? Sadie Harrington: Um... sure. Yeah, but nothing abnormal. Well, there is the "Visualize" thing. The "Observer" is about to run an investigative series, and it's gonna be very critical. Lisbon: Visualize? The sort of religious group? Sadie Harrington: You know, it's more like a cult. It's brainwashing with a sideline in tax fraud. You know, we got a, a pretty nasty letter from their leade, Bret Stiles, thrat unspecified trouble if we ran it. I can get you a copy. Jane: Oh, you, you had me at "cult." Ext. Daytime. Churchyard Cho: Creepy. Jane: What, you don't ke giant eyeballs? Cho: No. Homme (comes to meet them): Hi. I'm Steven Wench. Most folks call me "brother Steve." Are you the C.B.I. folks who called? Jane: Yeah. Brother Patrick and, uh, my brother Cho. Steven Wench: Well, come this way. (to the inside of the building) I'm sorry, but I'm afraid Mr. Stiles isn't on the premises today. Jane: Where is he? Steven Wench: At this precise moment, I don't know. Bret lives spontaneously. But I'm happy to help with any questions. Jane: I have a question. Uh, what are they doing in there with those gizmos? (the three men enter a large room, books on bookshelves, two tables, computer, a gigantic photograph of a man with white hair on the wall) Steven Wench: That's where our technicians assess for inner vision. Jane: Really? Mm-hmm. That sounds fun. Can anyone do that? Steven Wench: Um... sure. Jane: Excellent. Cho, you got the interview, right? Steven Wench: Just, uh, sign in. Jane: Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. (Jane enters the library, goes to a table where a man stands) Jane: Hi. I wanna go. The Man: Have a seat. Jane: Cool. Excellent. All right. (Jane touches a half iron sphere on the table) ZZZZ. Just kidding. Jane: W-what do I do? The Man: Well, place your fingers on the orb and, uh, tell me your name. Jane: You first. The Man: David. Jane: Hi, David. I'm Patrick. Fingers on the orb. David: Do you find sadness in the world around you? Jane: Yes. David: Do you find yourself dwelling on the misfortunes of your past? Jane: Yeah. David: Do you often think people are secretly out to get you? Jane: Yes. (Cho arrives with Steven Wench) Cho: How you doing? Jane: How am I doing? Cho: Yeah. Jane: Uh, how am I doing? David: Well, Patrick, you have serious issues with paranoia and depression and negative thinking in general. Jane: What? David: I would recommend our immersive vialation program for you, as a matter of urgency. Jane: Oh, okay. Um... Do, do, do you, do you take that? (Jane offers his credit card, which David was quick on wanting to take) Ah! Not so fast. You thought you had me, didn't you? Cho: Maybe we should get going. We gotta go get a warrant. Steven Wench: Before coming to persecute us, did you even look at Xander Harrington's wife? Sadie. Cho: We look at everyone, sir. What about her? Steven Wench: We heard there was trouble in her marriage. If Xander divorced her, there's a prenup. But if he dies, she gets it all. Jane: Where'd you hear that, Steve? Do, do you have someone on the inside? Steven Wench: I've said enough. Please leave. Jane: Do you have a gift shop? 'Cause I'd love an eyeball mug or something. Steven Wench: No. Jane: Okay. A large room filled with rows of chairs The man in the library photo: Good job, Steven. Good job. That was... beautifully handled. Steven: Thank you, Mr. Stiles. Bret Stiles: No, thank you. CBI Office (Cho at his post, with phone) Cho: So the guy claims Stiles is only thrat legal trouble, that Visualize is a religion of science and peace. Lisbon (still at the Harrington property): Tell that to the TV reporter from Atlanta. Last spring, he went off on Visualize, next day, he was flying through the windshield of a member's car. Cho: One more thing. About Sadie and Xander's marriage... In the Harrington's living room (Lisbon, Sadie Harrington) Sadie Harrington: An affair? No. Xander and I have been partners in everything since the first week of business school. I loved him, and I respected him. I had no reason to stray. Neither did he. Lisbon: Sometimes you don't need a reason. Alex Harrington (enters the room): Oh. Agent Lisbon, you're here. Something to report? Sadie Harrington: No, she just, um, thinks I was screwing around on your son. Excuse me. I have better things to do. Lisbon: Do you think she was having an affair? Alex Harrington: On balance, no. Lisbon: Go on. Alex Harrington: Sadie loves this company, as well as my son. She'd never risk everything for a roll in the hay. Ambitious as all hell, that girl. I like it. Don't get me wrong. She's doubled our profit since she took over running the TV stations. (her cellphone rings) Um... Excuse my rudeness. (distracted) Agent Lisbon. (shows cellphone to Lisbon) On the screen, a text message: " bmb in grand salon... You have 3 minutes " Lisbon: Get everybody out of the house. Alex Harrington: There's not enough time. Lisbon: Do what you can. Alex Harrington: Tara! Sadie! INT. CBI office (Jane asleep on his couch his phone rings, he wakes) Jane: Hello? Lisbon: It's me. I need your help. Jane: Lisbon, you need my help? Lisbon: I need your help finding a bmb. There's still time. You're good at this kind of thing. If we find the bmb intact, maybe we can still get rid of it. Jane: What, are you nuts? What do you want to do that for? It's a bmb. Just get out of there. The guy's got comprehensive home insurance, I'm sure. Lisbon: Oh, come on, Jane. We've got two minutes. All right? Where did they put it? They said it was somewhere in the grand salon. Jane: Well, if they called it the grand salon, then obviously they're insiders. Lisbon: Good point. Uh, l, leading us where? Jane: Uh, let me see. Uh, if I was familiar with that room, I would plant a bmb... Try under the sofa. No, no, no, no, no. The cupboard over by the dutch forgery in the corner. Lisbon: Uh, th, the painting? How do you know it's a forgery? Jane: Eh, the brushwork, it's all wrong. It's way too loose. Lisbon: Oh, my God. You were right. Jane: Yeah, well, of course. That looser feeling didn't develop until much later on. Lisbon: No! The bmb. I found it. One minute left. Jane: Oh, good. Time to leave. Get out of there. Lisbon, if you think I am even gonna engage in this game of "which wire to pull," I'm not interested. I don't wanna play that game. Just leave right now. Run. Okay? Lisbon: Okay. You're right. I'm outta here. Jane: Thank you. Good. Ashley (nears the sofa): Where's mommy? Jane: Hang on. Lisbon: Ashley? Ashley, we have to leave now. Ashley: No! (she hides under the sofa) Jane: Lisbon! Lisbon (trying to get Ashley): Ashley, get out from under there. Ashley. Ashley (trying to kick Lisbon): No! No! I want my mommy! Lisbon: Sweetie, come on. We have to go. Jane: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on there? Lisbon: Ashley, come on. Ashley! Ashley! Ashley: No! Leave me alone! I want my mommy! Lisbon: Come out! You come out now! That's an order! Jane: Lisbon, pick up the girl and leave. Ashley: I want my mommy! Jane: Just pick her up and take her outside. You can do that. Run away now. (a shrill ringing) Lisbon? Lisbon (approaching the bmb. 9 seconds remaining): Ohh... Oh God, oh God Jane: Lisbon! Lisbon: Ohh... No, no, no, no. (she disconnects it. time remaining 3 seconds. The countdown stops) Jane: Lisbon? Lisbon (to Ashley, who comes out from under the sofa): You are a very bad girl. Jane (visibly relieved): You're a bad girl. The Harrington's terrace (Alex Harrington, Lisbon, Jane, Sadie Harrington) Alex Harrington: Agent Lisbon. Thank you. Thank you for saving my granddaughter. Sadie Harrington: We are so grateful. Lisbon: It's all part of the service. Alex Harrington: No, you were brave and resourceful, and I'll make sure your supervisors say as much in your file. Look, if there's ever anything I can do for you personally, please don't hesitate. Jane: Well, you could offer her the pad for a weekend during the summer. Lisbon: Actually, uh, I was wondering if I could speak with some of your staff who had access to that room. Alex Harrington: Ah, Edward. Thank you for joining us. Ed Harrington: I just heard what happened. Is everyone all right? Alex Harrington: Oh, everyone's fine. It's fine. Ed Harrington: Well, if there's anything I can do to help, just say the word. I'm here. Alex Harrington: Actually, uh, I'll be issuing an announcement, and I wanted to let you and Sadie know first. Jane: I love announcements. Um, sh-should we order up a round of cocktails? Alex Harrington: I'll make this quick. Uh, as much as it pains me to discuss business at a time like this, but the fact is, we do have shareholders, and the board has demanded a new C. E.O. be announced immediately. Jane: Sadie, I bet. Ed Harrington: Uh... Sadie. Wow. Alex Harrington: Uh... Ed, I, I'm sorry. Ed Harrington: No. No, that's okay. That's... it's your right to name whoever you want. Sadie Harrington: Uh, I, I don't know what to say, Ed. I'm... Ed Harrington (visibly embarrassed, disappointed): No, it's okay. It's, um... I get it. I get it. Um, I'm sure you'll do a great job. Congratulations. (enters the house) Jane: Okay... Well, I'm not gonna say anything. (he pretends to zip his lips) INT. Daytime. CBI Building (Rigsby, Cho, Van Pelt) Van Pelt: The bmb thrat, we got something. It came from the phone of Elizabeth Stanfeld. Cho: Sadie Harrington's assistant. Let's go get that warrant. Rigsby (to Van Pelt): Nice work. Van Pelt: Thanks. INT. Daytime. Elizabeth Stanfeld's house (Rigsby, Cho, Van Pelt) Rigsby: Kitchen's clear. Cho: Bedroom, too. Rigsby: Van Pelt been acting weird to you? Cho: Please don't talk to me about Van Pelt. Rigsby: No, I won't. Has she? Cho: No. Rigsby: It's just she's... She's been smiling at me. Cho: No kidding. Rigsby: Sometimes I think she might still be into me. That'd be weird, huh? Cho: You're weird. (touching the computer screen) Cold. You know, I don't think Stanfeld's been here in a while. Rigsby (showing a book): Hey, check this out. "Visualize. A tool for living." (it is autographed by Stiles): "To Elizabeth a fine student and a Dear friend. From a proud teacher. Bret Stiles" Elizabeth Stanfeld's a member of Visualize. Looks like Bret Stiles is gonna be talking to us after all. Inside, Stiles' church (Stiles on stage, peforming his "show" on camera) Bret Stiles: The eye is not just the window to the soul. It is the key to unlocking your greatness. It is the key, because when you see it, you will be it. One more time. (Lisbon and Jane enter) The eye is not just the window to the soul. It is the key to unlocking your greatness. Jane (interrupt Stiles): Excuse me. I'm sorry. Uh... The eye is the key? Or the window? Or is it both? I'm a little confused. Bret Stiles: Mr. Jane, I presume. Jane: Yeah. Bret Stiles: Hello. Welcome. Jane: Oh, you're expecting us? Bret Stiles: Oh, yes. And I presume this is your long-suffering colleague, Agent Lisbon. If I may say, she is more beautiful than advertised. (to video technicians) Oh, thanks, guys. Take a little break. Thank you. Give us a few minutes. Thank you. Thank you. Jane: Elizabeth Stanfeld, your, um... "Dear friend and fine student", she planted a bmb at the Harringtons' house, a bmb she couldn't have possibly made herself. Jane: Lisbon here defused it. Heroine. Bret Stiles: Oh. Well, I, I'm, I mean, I may have taught her. Uh... Stanfeld? Lisbon: Oh. Bret Stiles: Uh, w, was she a brunette? Lisbon: Mr. Stiles, "dear friend"? Bret Stiles: Well, yeah, but, you know, I've signed millions of these in my time. I always like to personalize them. It's a little trick I learned from an old friend of mine, Ronnie Reagan. Lisbon: So you have no knowledge of this woman? You have no knowledge of any attcks on the Harrington family? That's your position, is it? Bret Stiles: No, it's not "my position." Actually, it's the truth. Jane: My eyes aren't, uh... Windows or doors or even keys, for that matter. I use 'em to look at things, and what I'm looking at right now is a big, fat liar. Bret Stiles: Really? Jane: Really. Yes. Betrayed by a faint facial tremor. You could work on that in the mirror. You'd get some great results. Bret Stiles: Mm. You know, now I see why... Red John really enjoys sparring with you. A worthy adversary, yeah? Jane: Yes. Straight for the jugular. Lisbon: Obviously, you struck a nerve. Jane: Hmm. Bret Stiles: Losing a wife and a child like that... Well, it makes a man reckless, untethered. Fills him with anger and shame that he cannot express. (to Lisbon) Well, must make your job very hard, Hmm? Lisbon: Yes, but the health plan's great. Bret Stiles: Mm. Mr. Jane, I think we can help you. I think we can scrub that shame and grief and self-hatred right out of your system. Jane: Bret, please. We both know what you are. I mean, let's be honest here. You're a con man. I mean, you're very charming, and you're very good at it, but you're just a con man. And you could no more help me than you can fly to the moon. Bret Stiles: Mm. Now who's struck a nerve? Nobody's past helping... Even you. Jane: Believe me when I say this, Bret you don't want to make this personal. Now give us Stanfeld, or I will make it my sole purpose to hound you for the rest of your miserable, phony life. Bret Stiles: Whoa. Am I hearing a thrat here? I mean, a, aren't there rules about this sort of thing? Hmm? Lisbon: Like you said, untethered. Mr. Stiles the percentage play here is to give us Stanfeld. She's not gonna betray you. She's loyal. Jane: Forget it, Lisbon. I'm bored. Bret Stiles: Elizabeth is at Edward Harrington's penthouse. Lisbon: She went to Edward? To do what? Bret Stiles: I don't know. Uh, she didn't tell me. I gave her no instructions. She went of her own free will. Have a nice day. Lisbon (on phone): Rigsby, get to ed Harrington's place immediately. (Lisbon and Jane leave the room) Ed Harrington's Penthouse (Van Pelt, Rigsby, Ed Harrinton, Elizabeth Stanfeld) (Van Pelt and Rigsby enter the apartment, gn in hand, sounds draw their attention to a white sofa) Rigsby: Police! Don't move! Let me see your hands! Freeze! Van Pelt: Mr. Harrington? (Elizabeth and Ed arise from the couch, startled) Mr. Harrington, are you... all right? Rigsby: Yep. I think he's... fine. Ed Harrinton: What the hell is going on? INT. CBI interrogation room (Ed Harrinton, Rigsby) Rigsby: See, the way it looks from here is that you and Elizabeth were in this together. Take out Xander, take out your father, live happily ever after with her and Bret Stiles. Ed Harrinton: No. I'm not into that Visualize crap. If I had any idea, I, uh, she was just, just a friend. Rigsby: Convenient, though, that she seems intent on taking out everyone between you and the top job at Harrington Media. Was Sadie next? Ed Harrinton: How do you know I wasn't next? Visualize wanted to kll us all because of that idiotic story. Rigsby: Then why didn't she kll you, Ed? (Jane attends the interrogation in the next room) Ed Harrinton: I, I don't know. Rigsby: You ever meet Bret Stiles? Ed Harrinton: No. Rigsby: Anyone at all from the Visualize organization? Ed Harrinton: No. Rigsby: So let me get this straight, she was sleeping with you because you were a Harrington, but not an important enough Harrington to kll. Is that it? You're a stooge. Ed Harrinton: Yeah, I'm a stooge. Thanks for the heads-up. (Rigsby turns to the two-way glass behind which is a smiling Jane) In another CBI interrogation room (Cho, Elizabeth Stanfeld, Jane) Cho: So Bret Stiles claims you acted alone. But you had an accomplice, didn't you? Elizabeth Stanfeld: An accomplice to what? Cho: The bmb attempt. We've got your phone records. Slam dunk. 20 years. Jane: 2 decades. 7,000 days living in a box. I don't know how people do it. Cho: Now help yourself out here. We know someone gave you that bmb. We know you didn't kll Xander. Sadie Harrington was with you the entire party. Elizabeth Stanfeld: Of course I didn't kll him. Cho: But you know who did. Give us a name, and we can talk a deal. Elizabeth Stanfeld: I'm looking down at you from a great height. You're like ants. It's sad how far I am beyond you people, spiritually and mentlly. Jane: Mm. But, uh, physically, I think we, uh, we might have the upper hand. And physically is kinda how they roll in prison. Elizabeth Stanfeld: Just because you've stopped my work doesn't mean others won't follow in my path. You can't imprison the truth. Jane: Oh, Lizzy, you are batnuts crazy. Batnuts, girl. But that's okay. You're young. You can recover your wits. You're gonna have to work very hard, but you've given me a very good idea, and I thank you. Lisbon's Team Office (Alex Harrington, Tara Harrington, Van Pelt, Jane, Ed Harrington, Rigsby) (Alex and Tara Harrington enter) Alex Harrington: Excuse me. We've come to take my son home. This is a family matter. Van Pelt: I'm sorry, sir, but we haven't finished questioning him. Alex Harrington: Edward made a mistake. (Jane arrives in turn) It was dangerous, yes, but not criminal, so unless you have some evidence linking him to a crime, I'd like you to let him go. Jane: Let the poor wretch go, Van Pelt. He's guilty of nothing except extremely poor decision-making, sexual partner-wise, and, uh... Who hasn't been there? Van Pelt: Jane. It isn't in my authority to allow that, sir, but if you'll wait a moment, I'll find Agent Lisbon, and she may be able to help you out. (Jane on his couch handles a piece of evidence: a cellphone) Ed Harrington: Dad? Alex Harrington: Never mind. There he is. Eddie, we're leaving. Tara Harrington (a Ed): You bastard! You stupid son of a bitch! How could you endanger us. Ashley was nearly klled. Ed Harrington: I'm sorry. Tara Harrington: (I'm gonna go wait in the car. Ed Harrington: I'm really sorry. Alex Harrington: You're sorry? Sorry? You little fool. Have you no common sense, boy? Are you completely... (Jane dials) Rigsby: Sir, you're gonna have to take it easy. Alex Harrington: Anyhow, here we are. Let's go home and discuss this. (Alex Harrington's phone beeps) Van Pelt: Mr. Harrington, that isn't going to be possible. Alex Harrington (looking at his phone): Oh, hell. Not again. Jane: What's wrong? Alex Harrington: Miserable cowards. More thrat! Jane: What does it say? Hightower's Office (Lisbon, Hightower, Alex Harrington) Alex Harrington: "Next time you won't be so lucky." Sent from the same number as the earlier thrat. I thought you had traced that call to Stanfeld. Hightower: Well, they likely use the same number for many different cloned cells. Lisbon: It proves it's the same people, anyhow. Alex Harrington: Meaning Visualize. Agent Hightower, I'm going to need additional protection for my family, at least until we can get to the house in London. Lisbon: Mr. Harrington, while your family's safety is at stake, maybe it's best to postpone the exposé. Alex Harrington: If I gave, where does it stop? My family would be under constant thrat from people who don't like what I print or air. We need protection, Agent Hightower. Hightower: Mr. Harrington, the police assigned to you are very well-trained personnel. We can add more if... Alex Harrington: I want your best people, Ms. Lisbon and her team. I'll insist on it. Lisbon: Mr. Harrington, that's very flattering, but you... Alex Harrington: And if you could release my son now, I'd appreciate it. Hightower: I'll see what we can do. Ext. Night. Police cars, police in front of the Harrington property In the living room (Tara, her baby, Alex Harrington, Jane, Lisbon, Ashley, Sadie) (Jane, Lisbon, Ashley, Sadie playing cards at a table) Jane: She's about to throw out e queen of spades. Lisbon: Stop showing off. Jane: Ha. That's what's called "cutting off your nose to spite your face." I'll take that. Thank you. Lisbon: (her phone rings, she answers, rises): Lisbon. Tara Harrington (her baby in her arms): Good night, everyone. Sadie Harrington: Alex, I told Ash she uld stay up if you tucked her in. Is that okay? Alex Harrington: Absolutely. Thank you. Night, sweetie. Rigsby (enters the room): Perimeter's clear, boss. Just checked in with the guards outside. Jane: Gin. There you go. Any takers? Van Pelt regarde des écrans de controle des caméras de surveillances de la propriété des Harrington, Cho engage son arme Van Pelt looks at the monitors of the cameras monitoring the Harrington property, Cho readies his wapon Cho: Wish me luck. Van Pelt: Hum hum. In the living room, Jane and Alex play backgammon Alex Harrington: Double. Jane: Sure. Mm. You're lucky man. Alex Harrington: No such thing as luck. Jane: Really? Alex Harrington: It's all about knowing the odds, seizing the chans. No luck involved. Jane: Hogwash. Alex Harrington: Hogwash? Jane: You heard me. Hogwash. (turns to Lisbon and Rigsby) What's that? Alex Harrington: What? Jane: Shh! Lisbon: What are you... Rigsby: Shh! Lisbon: Wait a minute. I hear it, too. Rigsby: I got Ashley covered here. Jane: It's coming from in there. Lisbon: Xander's office? It's been sealed since the mrder. (Lisbon, gn in hand, forces the office door, followed by Alex, Jane, Rigsby) Lisbon: Clear. Jane: Wow. Could've sworn I heard someone in here. (picks up a cup from the floor) Oh, what's this? Alex Harrington: That's Ashley's. Lisbon: So? Jane: That's it. Lisbon: What's it? Jane: She was here. She was right here. Alex Harrington: What's he talking about? Lisbon: No idea. Jane: That's why she's been so quiet and withdrawn. She witnessed the mrder. (Jane runs his fingers through his hair, the light goes out, an alarm sounds) Waouw... Lisbon: The power's been cut. Alex Harrington: Uh... w, we have a, a backup generator. Van Pelt (on walkie talkie): Perimeter's been breached. Someone's on the grounds. Lisbon (on walkie talkie): Copy that, Van Pelt. Charlie King one, check the grounds. Charlie King one, do you copy? Charlie King one? (Alex Harrington leads Ashley by the hand to the safe room) Lisbon: We're on our way to the safe room. Secure Tara, Sadie and the baby. Go! Come on. Seal the door now. Alex Harrington: Mm. Ashley (elle se cache sous un bureau): Grandpa? Alex Harrington: It's okay, honey. Don't be scared. We're safe in here. Everything's gonna be all right. Come on. There you go. (Jane enters the control room where Van Pelt is) Jane: Oh, I could do with some chocolate. You have any, uh, chocolate, Grace? Van Pelt: No. Jane: Just a little bit? Lisbon (also entering): Van Pelt, what's the status? Jane: Lisbon, that was very good. I have one question. Who the hell is Charlie King? Lisbon: Call it up. (Van Pelt enlarges the view of the safe room on screen) Ashley: I want mommy. Alex Harrington: Hey, you remember the party we had a few days ago? Ashley: With all the flowers and music? Alex Harrington: That's right. Ashley: You were in daddy's office that afternoon, before the guests got here for the party, remember? (Ashley shakes head) Uh, were you maybe... Hiding under his desk? Playing tea party? It's all right if you were. You won't get in trouble. Tell grandpa the truth, sweetheart. (Cho hidden behind a set of shelves is ready to intervene) Ashley... If you were there, maybe you saw the game grandpa was playing with daddy. Did you? (Van Pelt, Lisbon and Jane watching the scene) Sadie Harrington (enters the control room): What the hell is going on? Jane: Uh, we, it's a very clever plan. Would you like me to explain? Sadie Harrington: Wait. Why are they in the safe room? What are you doing? Van Pelt (leading Sadie out of the room): Ma'am, if you'll come with me, I'll explain everything. Lisbon: 30 seconds and I'm pulling the plug. Ashley: Daddy's dad, isn't he? Alex Harrington: It was a game. When your daddy fell... It was an accident I didn't mean to do it. Lisbon: Cho. Cho (comes up behind Alex, who has Ashley in her arms): Put your hands on your head. Now. You're under arrest. (Alex croise ses mains sur sa tete, Ashley fait pareil, ce qui fait sourire Jane) (Cho ramene Alex and Ashley dans les couloirs, Jane and Lisbon les attendent en haut d'un escalier, surgit Sadie furieuse) (Alex folds his hands on his head, Ashley does the same, making Jane smile) (Cho brings back Alex and Ashley through the corridors, Jane and Lisbon wait at the top of the stair, Sadie appears angry) Sadie Harrington (slaps Jane): You're a bastard! Jane: Uh, well, thanks for the, uh, feedback. Always appreciated. Ashley: What's wrong with grandpa? Sadie Harrington: It's okay, baby. It's okay. Alex Harrington (to Jane): You've got nothing. My lawyers will grind this to dust. (to Ed entering) Don't say a single thing, either of you. They're saying I klled Xan. Ed Harrington: Well, that's not true, right? Alex Harrington: Of course not. Jane: It was very sweet seeing you with Ashley. Uh, I guess after two sons, when she came along, it lit up your world. Strange, though, that you can't so much as look at your own daughter, nor barely touch your lovely wife. How'd you find out the baby wasn't yours? I know that you believed Tara was having an affair with Xander and that your son was Ella's biological father. And you were partly right. I mean, she was having an affair with your son, but it wasn't with Xander. Was it, Ed? Huh? Oh! Yeah, I figured it out when I saw you two at the CBI. She was very angry with you, very angry. Pure jealousy. Ed Harrington: Oh, my God. I'm... Jane: Ella's father. Congratulations. She's a real peach, actually. She's great. Alex Harrington: No. Can't be. Tara Harrington: I am so sorry. Alex Harrington: No! It was Xander! It was Xander. Jane: Okay. We'll take that as a confession. Thank you. Lisbon: Come on. Let's go. Ed Harrington: You really don't think I can do anything, do you? Alex Harrington: It can't be. Jane: Well, it is. Sorry. You klled the wrong son. CBI interrogation room (Lisbon, Jane, Alex Harrington) Alex Harrington: Xander and Tara seemed too close. Always whispering together n the corners, breaking apart when I'd come into the room. Lisbon: They were friends. They were probably talking about her affair with Ed. Alex Harrington: So I ordered a paternity test. The results came back the day of the party. (Flashback, dans le bureau de Xander, le jour de la party. Alex, Xander) Alex Harrington: Ella is not my child, but you know that already, don't you? Xander Harrington: What did you expect, dad?! You treat her like just another one of your possessions, but she's not! Alex Harrington (V.O.): I confronted Xan. Alex Harrington (flashback): You betrayed me! Alex Harrington (V.O.): He didn't deny it. (return to present) Alex Harrington: Why didn't he just deny it? Jane (V.O.): He just naturally assumed you knew it was Ed. Alex Harrington (flash back): You! (Alex grabs the letter opener and sab Xander) Aah! (return to present) Alex Harrington: When I think... of what poor Ashley saw... Jane: She didn't see anything. I made it up. Alex Harrington: But the teacup, she was there. Jane: Yes, I know. But it's all in the wrist. (Jane leaves the room) Hightower's Office (Hightower, Bret Stiles, Jane) Bret Stiles: My good friend Senator Aleman is very concerned about my treatment. Of course, you do know the good Senator, huh? Hightower: Yes. Bret Stiles: Chair of the Justice Committee. Hightower: I know him. Jane (enters the office): Bret Stiles. Good to see you. Looking sharp. Bret Stiles: I mean, I'd hate to tell him that you failed to resolve this matter. Hightower: So why don't we resolve it right now? Bret Stiles: Mm. Good. Hightower: Patrick, Mr. Stiles here says that you antagonized him and conducted yourself in a way that reflected poorly on the bureau. Do you have anything to say? Jane: Uh, no. I'm, I'm good, thanks. Hightower: Okay. Bret Stiles: Actually, there's one thing I'd like to say. Hightower: Is this gonna be helpful, Patrick? Jane: Probably not. Hightower (to Stiles, dryly): Okay, then, there you go. Nice talking with you. Bret Stiles: What? You're, you're kidding, right? That's it? Hightower: No. Do give my best to Senator Aleman. Is he still seeing that stripper in Bakersfield? Lovely girl. Bret Stiles: Well, well. I can see that I've met my match here. You two, quite the double act. Ah. I will retreat, chastened. (il sort du bureau) Hightower (to Stiles who turns): By the way... We will find a way to charge you with that attempted b*mb. Bret Stiles: Miss Hightower, shh. Don't push your luck. Jane: So long, Bret. Hightower: Don't draw the wrong lesson here, Patrick. I've got Stiles checkmated. But if a player with real juice came in here, I'd want to see you dance for him. Jane: Isn't that what we just did? Hightower: You know what I mean. Jane: Okay. And I do love to dance. (as he leaves, he dances, which makes Hightower smile)	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x20 - Red All Over"}	foreverdreaming
EXT. Daytime Lisbon and Jane enter the garden, Cho is already on site Cho: Victim's Noah Valiquette. 32. Lives a few blocks away. The local P.D. says a clown sht him, cut off his finger. (A stretcher passes next to the small group, Jane takes the opportunity to look at the mutilated hand protruding from the sheet covering the body) Lisbon: A clown? Which finger? Cho: Right index. Lisbon: Any witnesses? Cho: Yeah, the, uh, convenience store owner heard the sht, caught a glimpse of the suspect taking off. Now I'm thinking that sh*t forced him into the alley, klled him in there. Jane: Did the kller take the finger with him? Cho: Looks that way. Jane (examining his own hand): Uses for a detached index finger... Lisbon: Sending a message? Jane: Hmm. Un policier en uniforme: You from CBI? Lisbon: Agent Teresa Lisbon. This is Patrick Jane. Uniformed Policeman (Ellis Hindon): Ellis Hindon. Glad your office is close. This is a little out of our league. We tried not to screw it up. Preserved the crime scene, canvassed the area for witnesses and put out a description of the attacker. Lisbon: It sounds like you guys know what you're doing. Why call us? Ellis Hindon: This is who we picked up off the description. (Dozens of clowns dressed from head to foot in the street, waiting to be questioned by police) Jane (smiling): They're all crying on the inside. [ CREDITS ] (Clowns everywhere) Clown with green wig: There was this casting notice online. Said they were holding auditions today for a circus movie shting in Solano County. They were looking for clown talent, specified we should come in costume. Van Pelt: Was there a name on the ad? Contact information? Un clown a perruque verte fluo: No, just the address and time. What's your name again? Van Pelt: Van Pelt. Clown with green wig: Well, Miss Van P. (pulls out a red paper heart from Van Pelt's jacket pocket) What's this? You've got my heart in your pocket. Van Pelt: Thanks for your time. (Van Pelt walks over to Lisbon) Van Pelt: I hate clowns. Lisbon: Get in line. Same story? Van Pelt: They all said they were here for an audition.. Lisbon: Keep up the interviews. Get a solid I. D. on every one of these guys, and then go back to the office and see if you can trace whoever placed the ad. Van Pelt: Okay. (Beckoning a clown) You. Come here (Lisbon joins Jane who had moved away) Lisbon: Where have you been? Jane (biting into a red apple): Farmers' Market. Delicious apples, if you like that kind of thing. Keeping the clowns, are you? Lisbon: If the sht's here, I don't want him slipping away. Jane: Too late. He's slipped. These ones are just a smoke screen. I mean, why else would he place the ad? But it's a lovely day, if you want to waste your time talking to clowns. Lisbon: Uh, we have to. Maybe Bozo made a mistake and got caught here with the rest of 'em. Jane: You know, I knew a clown once. Catastropho was his name. A card thrower. He could stick the ace of clubs into a melon at 50 feet. Noah Valiquette: We need to talk to the victim's wife. Jane: 50 feet. Pshoo! Wow. INT. Valiquette's apartment (a young woman, and Lisbon on a sofa, a man on a chair) DVD on the TV: "Noah Valiquette: If the zeta-function is defined, for all complex numbers where "s" does not equal 1, then we can Daphne Valiquette: To your audience, honey. Look at me. Talk to me. Noah Valiquette: I know you're just trying to help, Daph. Daphne Valiquette: Tell me more about the zeta-whatever. You can do it. Noah Valiquette: I'm just not cut out for this. Daphne Valiquette: You're doing fine. Noah Valiquette: I'm sorry." Daphne Valiquette (stops the video): We made this about two years ago, just before we got married. Noah was trying to get a tenured teaching position. Lisbon: How'd that work out for him? Daphne Valiquette: Not so good. He has trouble addressing crowds. Man on chair (Raphe Valiquette): My brother was, uh, a mathematical genius. You know, he finished High School at 15, got his first degree in, like... two years, but he wasn't good with people. Daphne Valiquette: He was good with me. Jane (reading the title of a book on a coffee table): "Selected issues in the fourth order differential equations." I guess that was Noah's. Daphne Valiquette: Yeah. Jane: And, uh, "Love's Tender Passion." Yours? Daphne Valiquette: Go ahead and make fun. Jane: Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. Daphne Valiquette: No, it's okay. I didn't, I get it. I know how it looks. I'm no brainiac, and if you met him, you'd probably think Noah was king of the geeks. What can I say? I always had a thing for the smart guys. My girlfriends thought I was crazy. But when he opened up, Noah had a beautiful soul. And I was good for him. I helped him with the world. Lisbon: What did he do for a living? Raphe Valiquette: Oh, he, uh, published a few papers in mathematical journals, which, uh... well, obviously, do not pay much. Daphne Valiquette: But he was gonna do fine. I mean, he was always discovering, what do you call 'em? Proofs... And, um, inventing stuff. But one day it would've paid off. I know it would. Lisbon: And in the meantime? Daphne Valiquette: Um, we pretty much lived on my waitressing. I think that bothered Noah, because he, um, said he wanted to help out more. Uh, he started day-trading a few months back, but... don't think it went so well. Lisbon: Why is that? Daphne Valiquette: I don't know. He wouldn't talk about it. Raphe Valiquette: Daphne, he never talked about anything. Lisbon: Well, where was he going this morning? Daphne Valiquette: Oh, um, a coffee place downtown. Ariel's. Um, he spent most days there on his laptop, um, doing his day-trading stuff. He said he liked the background frequency. Jane (to Raphe): What's going on with you? I mean, you couldn't sit down. You can't stand still. Guilty conscience? Raphe Valiquette: No. I... My little brother just died. And he was terrified of clowns, so whoever did this was sick. Lisbon: Did you know about Noah's thing with clowns? Daphne Valiquette: Yeah, uh, Noah had his quirks. Lisbon: Mm. And for the record, where were you this morning at 7:30? Daphne Valiquette: Uh, I was here, asleep. I worked a late shift last night. Lisbon: And you? Raphe Valiquette: Uh, in my car, on the way to work. Jane: Tough game Noah had going here. He... wasn't playing either of you? Daphne Valiquette: No. Jane: Who did he play with? Daphne Valiquette: Uh, mostly one guy. Uh, Tolman Bunting. INT. CBI office (Rigsby on telephone) Rigsby: Tolman Bunting. He runs a store called "The Puzzle Nook" not too far from the Valiquettes'. Phone records show a lot of calls between the store and the house. EXT. Lisbon (on phone): We'll go and talk to him. How's it going with the clowns? Rigsby: Kenmore P. D. found a clown's outfit on the side of the road about 3 miles from the crime scene. No trace of D. N.A., though. Lisbon: Well, we'll put the clowns aside for now then, but keep the files nearby, in case we need to go back to them. Rigsby: Okay, boss. You got it. In a shop (Lisbon, Jane, Tolman Bunting, Annika) Tolman Bunting: Noah's mind was exquisite. A few years ago, I published a book of number puzzles, and, uh, shortly after, Noah e-mailed me. He'd, uh, he'd solved all the puzzles, of course, but he had also found a few logical flaws in two of them. That's when I realized that I had to have a person of his intellectualcaliber in my orbit. Mm, soon after that, we started playing a regular game of chess. Lisbon: How often did you see him? Tolman Bunting: Mm... once a month, I'd say, but we, uh, we'd play on the Internet or on the phone, and... (to Jane who plays with a Chinese puzzle) Uh, I think you'll, uh, you'll like that one. It's rather tricky. Jane: Doesn't this just kinda go like that... Around there... that goes around there... over there like that, and... that's it, right? Tolman Bunting (blown by Jane's speed): Very good. Yes. Jane: Hmm. That was fun. (reorders the puzzle and places it back) Lisbon: Uh, do you know anybody who was angry with Noah or maybe somebody who's held a grudge up against him? Tolman Bunting: No, no, not at... all, but, see, Noah was a bit oblivious to people's feelings, so sometimes that would come across as rude. But he's honestly the, the, the gentlest person that you can imagine. I, I, I can't fathom anyone wanting to kll Noah. Lisbon: Were you aware that he was coulrophobic? That means that he was afraid of... Tolman Bunting: Fear of clowns. No, not at all. Lisbon: You sure? Tolman Bunting: Quite. Lisbon: Where were you this morning at 7:30? Tolman Bunting: I was out for a run. Jane: Was this the game that you were playing with Noah? Tolman Bunting: As a matter of fact, it was. Jane: Hmm. Yeah, I think he might have had you. Tolman Bunting: You play? Jane: Oh... a little. Tolman Bunting: We should have a game sometime. Jane: That works. I'll open with pawn to C4. Tolman Bunting: Pawn to E6. Jane: Knight to F3. Tolman Bunting: Pawn to D5. Jane: Declining the gambit. Interesting. Pawn to D4. Tolman Bunting: Oh, really? Jane: Scout's honor. Lisbon: Hmm. Could we get back to the interview, please? Tolman Bunting: Of course. My apologies. You're gonna regret that open. Jane: We'll see. Lisbon: Did you notice anything unusual in Noah's behavior recently? Tolman Bunting: No. There, there was one thing. When we, uh, when we actually started that game, Noah was quite intent on betting, which he had never done before. Lisbon: Did you take the bet? Tolman Bunting: No, I like my money too much. (to Jane) You sure you want to stick with that open? Jane: Why not? Tolman Bunting: Knight to F6. Jane: Knight to C3. Tolman Bunting: Bishop... to E7. Jane: Hmm. Your funeral. Lisbon: Thank you for your time. Jane: Thank you. Tolman Bunting: Thank you for stopping by. Jane: By the way, bishop... G5. Mind your Queen. (Lisbon and Jane exit the shop) CBI building, night (Jane lying on the sofa) Cho (to Jane): Hey, you got a message from somebody named Tolman. "King side Castle." Jane (moves the pieces on a chessboard placed on the edge of his desk): Ahh. As he leans toward his doom. Chess, the game of kings. Cho: Kings with too much time on their hands. Van Pelt: Hey, boss? Lisbon: What's up? Van Pelt: Noah Valiquette's wife said that he was bringing in money by day-trading, right? Lisbon: That's right. Van Pelt: Well, they had a little money in the bank, but I checked his Web browser history. There isn't a single trade, so I ran his social, but he's never even owned a stock. Lisbon: What was he doing then? Van Pelt: I can't tell. There's a lot of files that seem like random numbers and letters. Every week, he e-mailed a bunch of them to the same address, "Beastslayer 949". Lisbon: Contact Noah's I. S.P. Make them tell you who Beastslayer is. Rigsby: Hey, boss? Daphne Valiquette on 2. She sounds freaked. Lisbon: Daphne? Daphne Valiquette: You have to come. There's somebody inside my house. EXT. Night. (Lisbon, Cho, Van Pelt, arrive at the Valiquette house) Daphne Valiquette (outside her home): I, I called as soon as I saw the door. Lisbon: It's all right. Just take it easy. Daphne Valiquette: I just, I was gone less than an hour. I should've called the police, I know. Um, I, I wasn't thinking. Cho: How many entrances besides the front? Daphne Valiquette: Uh, just the back door. Cho: Got it. Lisbon: You guys take the front. Daphne Valiquette: Ohh. Van Pelt: Somebody forced it open. (They enter the house, in complete darkness, armed and with flashlights) Cho: Kitchen's clear. Rigsby: Bathroom's clear! Van Pelt: Living room's clear. Cho: Bedroom's clear. Hey, guys, you need to see this. Lisbon (lights up the room, revealing a mess): Whoa. Somebody really wanted something. Van Pelt: Safe in the floor. That's pretty old-school. Rigsby: That's a high-end sensor lock. It's gonna be tough to bust into. Cho: I'll call tech services, tell 'em we need a locksmith. Lisbon: Uh, don't bother. (looks under the bed) I found the key. Rigsby: No, this type of safe doesn't use a key. Lisbon: Oh, yes, it does. (finger on the trunk in order to read the print, the trunk is unlocked) Van Pelt: Mm. Lisbon: Bag it. (gives it to Van Pelt who takes it on a crumpled piece of paper) Van Pelt: Oh. Ew. Day. Jane arrives the Valiquette home (he spots a kettle in the kitchen window...) (Lisbon, Daphne in the living room) Daphne Valiquette: You're telling me that somebody klled my husband and cut off his finger to get into some safe? Lisbon: Yes, and this is all we found in there, a chessboard, a comic book and some papers. Have you ever seen this stuff before? Daphne Valiquette: No. Lisbon: Did Noah ever mention the safe? Daphne Valiquette: No. Never. We, this was his house before we got married. I just moved my stuff in. Maybe you can tell, volunteering information wasn't Noah's strong suit. Lisbon: Well, we think whatever the kller was looking for wasn't in the safe. That's why they ripped up the rest of the house. {his phone rings) Would you excuse me? Daphne Valiquette: Yeah. Lisbon (answering the call, stands up and walks away): Lisbon. (In the kitchen, Jane pours hot water into a cup, looks around the kitchen, noses into cupboards) Lisbon: Jane! (Jane goes into the bedroom, where Lisbon called him from) Cho got in touch with Valiquette's I. S.P. "Beastslayer 949" is Alec Mosca. He lives 15 miles away. Cho and Rigsby are on their way now. Jane: Splendid. Lisbon (joining Daphne in the lounge with Jane): Did Noah have any other hiding places? Daphne Valiquette: Maybe. Yeah, sure. I don't know. I mean, I feel like I don't know anything anymore. I mean, how many secrets did he keep? Why, why put all this junk into a safe? Jane: Well, it's not all junk. This is a "Spider-man" 46. In this issue, he takes on the Shocker. It's very good. Worth a pretty penny. But what I find is interesting, is that the chess set that your husband has set up on the table is expensive, and this one, on the other hand, is made in China, not so expensive. So one has to wonder why he had the cheapo set hidden away so carefully, unless... (shaking the pieces one after the other) There's something inside. Locker key. Locker 42. I wonder where that is. In a city center building (Rigsby and Cho) Rigsby: It's this one? Cho: Yep. Alec Mosca: Yeah? Cho: Alec Mosca? Alec Mosca: Why? Who are you? Cho: Agents Cho and Rigsby, CBI. Please open the door. Alec Mosca: Who? Rigsby: CBI, sir. Let us in. Alec Mosca: Uh... sure. CBI, no problem. Uh, look, I'm in my skivvies, so, uh, give me a second to get presentable, all right? Cho: Think he's gonna put his pant on before he hits the window? Rigsby: No, I do not. Cho: Mr. Mosca! (Rigsby shoulder's down the door, they enter Mosca's apartment) Cho: Let me see your hands! Get away from the window! Let me see your hands! Alec Mosca: All right! Okay. No problem. You see that? There's $14,000 in it. Take that to Mike. Tell him I'm good for the rest. On my sister-in-law's grave, I swear! Rigsby: What the hell are you talking about? Alec Mosca: Mike sent you, right? To collect on the Boston-Philly bet? Oh, crap. Cho: Face the wall. Put your hands on your head. Alec Mosca: Who are you guys? Rigsby: Remember the badge? CBI. Alec Mosca: What the hell is that? Cho: California Bureau of Investigation. Alec Mosca: What the hell is that? Cho: We're like the FBI, only more conveniently located. (They handcuff Mosca) INT. CBI office (Cho and Mosca in an interrogation room) Cho (to an agent that was watching Mosca before he arrived): Thanks. Alec Mosca: Let me say I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding at my door. I had no idea you were cops. Cho: We showed you our badges and identified ourselves. Alec Mosca: You never watch movies? That's how the bad guys do it. Cho: No, it's not. Sit down. How do you know Noah Valiquette? Alec Mosca: Coffeehouse. Uh, Noah likes Vienna Roast. I'm partial to the Sumatran blend. Cho: Mm-hmm. Is that what he's e-mailing you about, coffee orders? You should tell the truth, Mr. Mosca. It's easier to remember. Alec Mosca: This is how it is. I occasionally place a wager. Cho: Meaning you're a degenerate gambler? Alec Mosca: Yeah, okay. A couple months back, I'm in the coffeehouse going through my picks when Noah asks what I'm doing. Long story short, he says he can give me "rational analysis" on the odds. So I threw him a couple games. Bing, bing, bing, they all came through. That caught my eye, so we made a deal. He gave me picks. I gave him 10% of the winnings. Cho: These don't look like picks. Alec Mosca: Noah said he had to send them in code. Don't ask me. Just who he was. Cho: When did the arrangement go South? Alec Mosca: Who said it did? Cho: You did. You've been nervous ever since I mentioned his name. Alec Mosca: From three weeks back every one of Noah's calls is a bust Guy couldn't pick a bear to crap in the woods. I asked him what was going on. All he'd say was he had a problem, couldn't focus. Cho: That must have made you angry. Alec Mosca: You think? He's got a problem? I'm the one bleeding money. But anything that you might have heard about angry words between us bears no relation to deeds carried out. I never touched the guy. Lisbon's Office (Lisbon, Rigsby, Jane lying on the couch) Rigsby: Mosca's got two arrests for asault. I could see him going after Noah. Lisbon: In a bar fight, maybe. Not in a clown suit. Jane: The question is, why did Noah's picks go sour? Rigsby: Anybody can have a bad run. Jane: But Noah wasn't anybody. I mean, a day here, a day there. But three weeks? Rigsby: According to Mosca, he had a problem. He couldn't focus. Troubles at home maybe? Lisbon: That doesn't sound like the kind of pblem he'd even notice. It must have been some kind of intellectual challenge. Jane: Agreed. But who could present that kind of intellectual challenge, that kind of... puzzle, eh? In Tolman Bunting's shop (Tolman, Jane, Lisbon, Annika) Tolman Bunting: Oh, Mr. Jane. Did you, um, did you come here to concede the game? Jane: Not at all. Bishop takes E7. Tolman Bunting: Interesting. Lisbon: What problem was Noah Valiquette working on for you? Tolman Bunting: I don't know what you're talking about Noah and I played chess. Jane: Liar. Tolman Bunting: I am not a liar. Jane: What makes you think I can't tell when someone is lying? Lisbon: Jane. Jane: Huh? Enough, Mr. Tolman. Start talking the truth or I'm gonna pop ya. (Jane, left hand in his jacket pocket, thrat Tolman as if he had a gn in the pocket) Annika (Jane thrat his wapon): Don't even think about it. Lisbon (thrat to turn his wapon on Annika): Put the gn down. Put it down. Jane: It's soft. It's just a hand. There's, there's nothing there. Just a, just a hand. We're good. Tolman Bunting: Annika, put the gn down. Lisbon: Why do you have an armed bodyguard, Mr. Bunting? Tolman Bunting: Why don't we, um, step into my office? Okay? Tolman leads them into the back of the shop (A room full of computer screens, people working) Jane: Sweet. Tolman Bunting: Do you understand how important puzzles and codes are to you agents? They protect your e-mails. They stop credit card fraud. Puzzle making and breaking is the preeminent security issue of our day, and I run a consulting firm that deals specifically with those issues. Jane: Who do you work for? Tolman Bunting: We're not prejudiced. Whoever needs us. Jane: What was Noah doing for you? Tolman Bunting: That's delicate. Lisbon: Mr. Bunting, unless you give us your full cooperation, I'll have the CBI computer crimes unit in this office in an hour. Tolman Bunting: I was grooming Noah for a, uh, pet project, something special. Lisbon: What for? Tolman Bunting: A device that could decipher virtually any encrypted information. Jane: The universal hack. Tolman Bunting: Well, that's the crude way of calling it. I identified three people that I thought could pull it off, and Noah was one of them. I offered each one of them $2 million. Last week, Noah called me and told me that he had built the device but that he wasn't going to give it to me. Jane: Why? Tolman Bunting: He said he had second thoughts. He was worried about the device falling into the wrong hands. Jane: And that doesn't worry you? Tolman Bunting: I'm a businessman, not a moralist. Jane: Hmm. Kind of annoying, though, Noah holding out on you like that. Tolman Bunting: Not really. You see, I decided that Noah didn't really build the device, that he couldn't, and he was embarrassed by his failures. Jane: What if he had built a device? What would you do to get your hands on it? Tolman Bunting: Anything... Short of klling him, of course. Lisbon: Mm. Jane: 'Cause I found a locker key at Noah's house, very well-hidden, a locker 42.. Tolman Bunting: Interesting. Do you have any idea where that locker is? Lisbon: We're looking. Tolman Bunting: Well, if you find it, you must let me know, because that device is mine. Jane: Not yet. You haven't paid for it. Tolman Bunting: I have a handful of lawyers looking into it. Oh, Mr. Jane, before I forget, Queen to E7. Taking your bishop. Jane: Hmm. Lisbon: We're gonna need to talk to the other people that you're working on this project with. Tolman Bunting: Fine. No problem. There's an Alex Kromm who lives in Amsterdam, and then the, uh, third person is local, a Oliver McDaniel. But I doubt that he klled Noah. Lisbon: Why? Clark Mental Health Institute (Un gardien ouvre une porte grillagée au passage d'un jeune homme encadré de deux surveillants, referme la porte, une autre s'ouvre, se referme apres leur passage, un gardien ouvre la cellule C41, avec une clé magnétique) (Le jeune homme assis sur son lit mangeant une une boite de "Spagetti, Meat Balls" a meme la boite, Lisbon and Jane dans la cellule avec lui) (A guard opens a door. A young man flanked by two guards. Closes the door, another opens, closes after their passing, a guard opens the C41 cell, with a magnetic key) (Young man sitting on a bed eating a box of "Spagetti, Meat Balls". Lisbon and Jane in the cell with him) Lisbon: Oliver Simon McDaniel. Your file says that you finished college at 16, graduate school at 19, and you were sent here after nearly choking your father to death. Oliver Simon McDaniel: He's not my father. He's a cyber clone sent by the galactic quantum lords. Jane: Oh, them. You know, they're always up to something Shady. Oliver Simon McDaniel: Yes. They're trying to drive me mad. But they won't succeed. Lisbon: Have you heard about Noah? Oliver Simon McDaniel: I did. Sad. Can you do a shiatsu massage? Lisbon: No Oliver Simon McDaniel: Shame. I'm tight. So tight. And my skin is just so dry and flaky. Lisbon: Uh-huh. The visitor log says that Noah was the only person who came to see you. How did you know him? Oliver Simon McDaniel: Um, grad school. I felt sorry for him. He was a little off. My guess was radiation. How did he die? Jane: gn wound, which, uh, suggests it wasn't the quantum lords that klled him. Oliver Simon McDaniel: Duh. They'd use a lorax beam. Why would they want to kll Noah anyway? Big wuss. Jane: Quite. His kller wore a clown costume. Any ideas who that might have been? Assuming, of course, that it is a carbon-based life-form. Oliver Simon McDaniel: Nuh-unh, but the clown thing's clever. Noah hated them. Lisbon: We understand that you were working on a problem for Tolman Bunting? Oliver Simon McDaniel: Yeah. My doctors wanted to nix it, but I convinced them it was good therapy. (to Jane, who presses the ON button. Sounds of birds and sea) Don't touch that! Jane: Hmm. Lisbon: Did you know that Noah was working on one for him, too? Oliver Simon McDaniel: Which makes him a big-ass hypocrite. Lisbon: Why is that? Oliver Simon McDaniel: Well, back in grad school, we got offered a gig writing code for some defense contractor. Noah passed. Said he didn't want to do anything that could harm someone, like this thing for Tolman is any better! You could destroy the world, practically, if you wanted to. Jane: Noah may well have completed that project. Yeah. How are you doing with it? Oliver Simon McDaniel: Fine. Jane: So not even close. Oliver Simon McDaniel: I could gouge your eyes out with a spoon. Jane: I'll take a rain check on that. It appears Noah may have hidden the device in a locker that this key belongs to. Do you have any idea where that locker could be? Oliver Simon McDaniel: Sir, I'm a mental patient. I don't know anything. Nobody does. But see, I know I don't know. Paradox. Interview over. Jane: Yes, it is. Lisbon: Thank you. In the corridors of the mental hospital (Lisbon and Jane) Lisbon: It's funny how well you two get along. Jane: Well, I have the same kind of trouble with those pesky quantum lords. Noah's ethics should have prevented him from taking on the project in the first place. But he took it on. Why? Lisbon: Noah loved puzzles. Maybe he couldn't resist the challenge. Jane: Well, the's plenty of those to choose from. Thanks. Lisbon: Uh, the prospect of lots and lots of money? Jane: That's a boring motive. Lisbon: Well, it's still pretty popular. An audible alarm starts: "Inmate escape. Inmate escape" Lisbon (retracing his steps running toward Simon Oliver McDaniel's cell): Open that now! (Jane follows the running too, they arrive in the cell, the door is open) Jane: Oh! Alert the quantum lords. oup, oup, oup, oup, oup, oup, oup, oup CBI Offices, Jane before his chessboard (Jane, Lisbon, Cho, Rigsby ) Lisbon: Have the Kenmore police put out an A. P.B. And get me everything you canon Oliver McDaniel. Thanks. Rigsby: I'm impressed. Oliver made his own key pass using information stolen from one of the guards. He trips the alarm to create a distraction, then hides in the guards' locker room. Lisbon: The last place they'd search. Cho: Turns out this isn't the first departure. Multiple exits unaccounted for stretching back more than a month. Lisbon: Hospital security didn't flag this? Cho: Exits came up under the guard's name, nothing out of the ordinary. Lisbon: So Oliver could come and go whenever he wanted. Cho: Here's the kicker, he was gone for four hours around the time of Noah's mrder. Lisbon: Bumps him up the suspect list. Rigsby: There's one thing I don't get. Why leave now? Why not stick to your routine and slip out at night? Lisbon: Because he was going after the device. He must have figured out where it was when he saw the locker key, would have done anything to get his hands on it. Did you talk to Tolman Bunting? Cho: He had no idea wher Oliver could be headed. Lisbon: If Oliver leaves a trail, it's not gonna be his. Check the guard's name and run his credit cards. The security pass may not be the only thing Oliver copied. Rigsby: Okay, you got it. Jane: Hey, Grace. Van Pelt (at his desk on the computer): Hey. Jane: Um, if I wanted to go away by the ocean, you know, somewhere close, kind of a resort-type thing... Van Pelt: Spa treatments? Jane: Yeah. Yeah, that kind of thing, exactly. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about. Um, is there any places that you'd recommend? Van Pelt: I'm kind of busy here, Jane. Jane: Well, can't you just look it up on your computer? It'll take, like, ten seconds. Van Pelt: Why don't you do it yourself? Jane: I'll get you a nougat bar from the, uh, machine over there. Van Pelt: Give me five minutes. Jane: You are the Queen of my heart, Grace. Van Pelt: Mm-hmm. I'll wait here. INT. lobby of a luxury hotel (Jane enters) Jane (to the hotel porter): Thank you. Hotel Porter: Welcome to Tidewater, Sir. Jane: Oh, thank you. Very, uh, lovely place. Hotel Porter: We like to think so. Is there something I can help you with? Jane: Uh, yes, there is. Um, how is your staff at procuring, uh, things for guests? Hotel Porter: Um, what do you mean? Jane: You know, special things. Hotel Porter: If it's company you're looking for... Jane: No, it's, uh, it's not company I'm looking for. But thank you, if you're offering company... Gary. Lisbon's office at CBI (Lisbon working on her computer) Rigsby (entering the office): Got a ht on the guard's credit card. Somebody used it to buy a ticket to Brazil departing out of S. F.O. In an hour. Lisbon: Tell the airport police we're on our way. Rigsby: You got it. (Rigsby leaves the office, Lisbon too, her phone rings) Lisbon: What, Jane? Jane (in front of a window overlooking a white sand beach): What's up, Lisbon? Lisbon: Oh, nothing much. Might make a run to the San Francisco airport to pick up Oliver McDaniel. Jane: Huh. Well, you may want to rethink that. In a dining room overlooking a beach (Jane sat at a table, a cocktail in hand, Lisbon arrives) Lisbon: Where is he? Jane: Hey. Isn't this lovely? Smell of the ocean air, sand beneath your feet. You know, we should move our offices here. Lisbon: Oliver, Jane, where is he? Jane: You'd be so much happier, do wonders for your stress levels. Lisbon: He's ticketed on a flight to Brazil. Cho and Rigsby are on their way to the airport now. So... Jane: Oliver has been in an insane asylum for about six months. He asked you for a massage. He's in need of a little pampering. The flight's a misdirect. Lisbon: How can you be so sure? Jane: The sound machine in his bedroom was tuned in to the ocean. That, and the fact that room 6-4-4 has already ordered six cans of spaghettio's from the concierge. You can't arrest him yet. Lisbon: Yes, I can. Jane: No, you can't. He escaped because he knows the location of the device, and if we follow him, he will lead us right to it. Lisbon: I don't care about the device. Jane: You don't care about a code-breaking device that could hack into our government's national security system? That's not very patriotic, Lisbon. Pina Colada? EXT. Day - a street (Lisbon and Jane stakeout in a car) Jane (his cell in his hand): Rook to B8? Poor, deluded fool. Bunting will be resigned before lunch, the way he's playing. Lisbon: Great. Jane: Bishop... To C4. Uh-huh. Lisbon (Oliver Simon McDaniel comes out of the building): There he is. (on walkie-talkie) Cho, we have a visual. We'll take point. You and Rigsby hang back. On the pier from the beach, Pacific Park, tables, games, mechanical clairvoyant (Lisbon, Jane) Jane (playing with children and giant soap bubbles): Ooh! (Oliver Simon McDaniel, walking quietly) Lisbon (walkie-talkie): He's headed in now. Let's see where he's going. Jane (still playing): Whoa! Whoa! Lisbon (beckons Jane): Come on! Lisbon and Jane follow Oliver at a distance (Oliver is attcked by a person wearing a cap) Lisbon: Who was that? Rigsby: I don't know. Lisbon: Watch Oliver. Cho, come on. Rigsby: Need a paramedic at the pier. (Lisbon and Cho go into a room, the person wearing the cap is in the process of forcing a wall safe) Cho: CBI. Don't move! (A pursuit arises inside the room and on the pier. Jane enters the room, a trunk is open) Jane: 42. (The chase continues under the pier) Cho: Don't move! Lisbon (removing the cap from the person): Mister Bunting? Jane (still in the room): 4 and 2. Yeah. (opens a chest containing Noah's decoder) Premises of the CBI (Lisbon and Tolman in an interrogation room) Lisbon: Nice work, tailing us to the pier. But I guess for a guy who's after the universal hack, listening in on police radios is no big thing. Tolman: It was, uh, an unseasonably warm day. I wanted to cool off by the water. It was pure coincidence that drew me there. Lisbon: This isn't funny, Mr. Bunting. You're in trouble. Tolman: Hmm. Lisbon: We've got a big handful of felonies for what you did at the pier today, and we are this close to nailing you for the mrder of Noah Valiquette. Tolman: Really? Lisbon: Really. The clown costume, the ad, sounds like the work of a man who likes to play games, doesn't it? Rigsby (entering the room unannounced): Hey, boss. A. G.'s on the phone, says it's urgent. Tolman: Oh, uh, do me a favor and, uh, send my best to the Attorney General. And tell Mr. Jane Queen to D8. Queen to D8! Thank you. (Cho and Oliver in an interrogation room) Cho: You knew where Noah hid the device. How? Oliver: In grad school, Noah and I would go to the pier. Noah liked the rides. I liked the beach, all those young women in wet bathing suits. I knew Noah hid the device there as soon as I saw that key. Cho: So you decided to escape and get it for yourself. Oliver: I wanted the money. There's an intergalactic wr coming. Cho: Yes, I'm aware. Oliver: Mm. Cho: But if you take the device to Tolman, you know we're waiting for you in the lobby. Oliver: Well, I wanted the device so I could see how it worked. After that, I could make my own, sell 'em wherever, have enough money to build my bunker. Cho: Now the hospital security logs have you out have you out the morning of Noah's mrder. wr preparations? Oliver: No, man. Breakfast at my favorite strip club. They have an open buffet, all you can eat. Cho: And Noah's kller planned an elaborate diversion to get away from the crime scene, like your ticket to Brazil stunt. Oliver: I wasn't aware it was a crime to be intelligent, Agent Cho. CBI Corridors (Lisbon, Jane, a cup of tea in hand) Lisbon: The A. G. insists I let Bunting go, drop all charges. The man must have serious juice. Jane: Well, it stands to reason. He knows where the skeletons are buried. Lisbon: I don't know what to do. How do you build a case against a guy like this? Jane: Oh... it's not so hard. (Cho and Oliver) Oliver: Talk to the girls at the strip club. Someone's gotta remember I was there. Jane (entering the room): He speaks the truth, Cho. Oliver here would have trouble klling a light beer... Much less Noah Valiquette. Oliver: That's not accurate. I could mess you up badly if I wanted to. Jane: But you don't want to. Before we let you walk out the door, I need a favor. Oliver: Not a chance. Jane: Consider it. It'll give you the chance to work with this, and then when you're done, a little gift from the planetary league. (Jane leaves the decoder, spaghetti and meatballs box!) Hmm? Tolman's Office (Tolman, Jane) Jane: Rook takes F6. Your very friendly assistant let me in. Tolman: Rook takes F6. King to G8. What are you doing here? Jane: I came by to see if Noah's doohickey here, actually works. Tolman: That's it? Jane: Yes. Tolman: So he did build it. Jane: Yes, and I'm here to return it... For $2 million, of course. Tolman: You expect me to pay you? Jane: Well, not me, no, but its rightful owners. Uh, have you met Noah's wife Daphne and brother Rafe? Legally, Noah's propertyis passed on to Daphne, including this. Have either of you ever seen this before? Daphne Valiquette: No. Rafe Valiquette: What is it? Jane: Uh, it's a code-breaking device designed by Noah for Mr. Bunting, uh, in return for $2 million your $2 million. Daphne Valiquette: Oh, my God. Jane: I'm sure a cashier's check will be fine, Mr. Bunting. Rafe Valiquette: Yes. Tolman: Uh, I think we first have to make sure that this thing works. That was part of our arrangement. Jane: As you wish. Tolman: Hmm. Whoa. Okay, we're gonna need an encrypted file. Jane: Oh, how about Agent Lisbon's personnel file? Lisbon: No. Jane: I happen to have it on disk right here. Lisbon: No! Jane: It has some great photos. Lisbon: Fine. (Tolman makes the connections) Jane: It seems to be working here. Tolman: Mm. Rafe Valiquette: What does that mean? Tolman: It means that it's not working. It seems Noah was unable to complete the project. I am sorry, Mrs. Valiquette. Jane: He needed more time. Raphe Valiquette: Wait. How do we know it doesn't work? Maybe he's playing us, trying to save himself a couple million. Tolman: Don't be absurd. Why wouldn't I want this to work? Daphne Valiquette (after having tinkered with the decoder): Try it again, 'cause my husband's a genius. It has to work. Tolman: I'm afraid your, um, husband's genius had its limitations. Jane: Humor us. Tolman: Okay, fine. Rafe Valiquette: What's happening? Tolman: It's working. It's working! On the screen: "MY WIFE klled ME MY WIFE klled ME MY WIFE k*lled ME" Daphne Valiquette: What? Rafe Valiquette: What the hell? Daphne Valiquette: Turn it off. Turn it off! Turn it off! Tolman: No, wait. Jane: It's right, isn't it? Daphne Valiquette: Of course not. Jane: You said you didn't know anything about the device. You were lying. Daphne Valiquette: No. Wha, Jane: I had Oliver change the settings so it wouldn't work. But you knew how to change them back. You watched Noah work. You knew that he decided not to give it to Tolman for any price. So you did what you felt you had to... (Flashback: Daphne disguising herself as a clown) you played on his fear. You'd take the device and turn it in to Tolman yourself. All you had to do was open the safe. The problem, it wasn't in the safe. Daphne Valiquette: That movie with the crazy math guy and the woman who loves him, yeah, I thought Noah and me would be like that. CBI Building (Jane, Daphne Valiquette, Rigsby, in an interrogation room) Jane: Hmm. "Love's Tender Passion." Daphne Valiquette: Yeah, you go ahead and make fun. Life with Noah was nothing like that. It was silence, days of it, and books I could never understand the title of, and no sex when he's thinking, which, by the way, is all the time. I work 50 hours a week scrounging for tips just so we could have food. Anyway, so then Noah told me about this guy who would pay him $2 million to build this thing, $2 million. I begged him, and finally he said he would do it, which was only right because it was his turn. Jane: But he wouldn't hand it over, and you couldn't live with that. Daphne Valiquette: You're, okay. He said it was too dangerous. I tried to make him, but he said that... He said I wasn't able to understand the implications. So I decided to show him I could be smart, too. Jane: Mm-hmm. Or a whole lot dumber. I'm, I'm not sure which. Rigsby: Get up. Come on. Hands behind your back. (Rigsby handcuffs Daphne, Jane leaves the room, Lisbon calls) Lisbon: What put you on to her? Jane: Well, I came to it very late. I could have kicked myself. The kitchen of her house was left unsearched because that was her domain. She knew the device wasn't there. Tolman: Oh, Mr. Jane. Perfect timing. Pawn to F4. (Tolman is in front of the chessboard in Jane's office) Jane: Shrewd. But I gather you're here for more than just to pin my Queen. Tolman: Yes. Actually, I came here to collect my property. Given Daphne's condition, ownership of the device goes to Noah's brother. But when I contacted Rafe, he wanted nothing to do with it. So according to my attorneys, that passes the device... to me. I have all the legal documents here. If you have any questions, you can... Jane (gets briefcase out of his desk drawer): No need, no need. It's all yours. All yours. Uh, I hope you don't mind, I did have a little fiddle with it. (Jane gives him the briefcase) I just wanted to see how it worked. Tolman: Ohh. What did you... (all pieces are disconnected) Jane: Easily fixed, I'd imagine. Tolman: Easily? Jane: Oh? Uh, what's that? (he finds another piece in his drawer) That may be part of it. Tolman Bunting (slumped): You are gonna be hearing from my attorney. Jane: Tolman, one last thing, Bishop... C4. Forced mate in three moves. I win. Come and take a closer look. You'll see it. (Tolman leaves the office briefcase of spare parts in hand) We should do this again!	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x21 - 18-5-4"}	foreverdreaming
Hotel Lobby - San Desidera, California (People of different nationalities are present and being interviewed by TV journalists) Banner at the entrance to the conference room: "Global Human Rights, Conference 2010" Lynch: Where the hell is he, Stace? Stacey: Don't worry, Mr. Lynch. I'm sure he'll be here soon. Lynch: Yeah, well, this is ridiculous. I mean, he goes on in less than five minutes. Stacey: It's all right, Mr. Lynch. He's here. Lynch: All right, get him up on stage and I'll tell everybody he's on his way. Stacey: Okay. Stacey: Mr. Brava, I'm afraid we need to hurry. (a journalist approaches) Journalist: Mr. Brava, no advance copy of your speech has been released. Why the secrecy? Brava: Well, come hear it, and you'll know. Journalist: Can you tell us anything about what you're going to say? (Brava stops walking towards the conference room) Brava: You want a sound bite? Fine. People who traffic in humans are like cockroaches hiding in the dark. You have to expose 'em to the light. (Brava's phone beeps, a text message was received) Journalist: What do you mean, "expose"? Will you be naming somebody? (SMS Message): "Meet me through the staff door, Carmen" Journalist: Mr. Brava. Brava: Wait here. Stacey: Uh, Mr. Brava. Brava: I'll be right back. Stacey: Mr. Brava! Journalist: That was Hector Brava, the keynote speaker for the Human Global Conference. (Brava heads off) (after a while, Stacey starts looking for Brava) Stacey: Mr. Brava? We really-have to ... (seeing Brava's body on the ground) Help me! Somebody, please! (she runs out for help) Hotel Lobby (Lisbon and Jane come in, they are greeted by the sheriff) Sheriff: Andy Burnside, Kane County Sheriff. Lisbon: Agent Teresa Lisbon. This is Patrick Jane, our consultant. Sheriff Burnside: Hi. Jane: Hi. Sheriff Burnside: So the victim's name was Hector Brava. He was a do-gooder. Ran an organization called the Sheltering Light Foundation. They fight human trffick. There's a conference going on. He was supposed to give some kind of a speech. (to Jane) So you're the psychic, huh? Jane: No. No such thing as psychics. (Lisbon, Jane and Sheriff Burnside arrive at the scene of the crime, Cho is there) Cho (to police officer): All right. Thanks. (to Lisbon and Jane) Looks like cause of death is blunt force trauma to the back of the head. Sheriff Burnside: Yeah, some of my men found a fre extinguisher with blood on it over there. No, uh, usable prints on it, though. Lisbon: If he was here to make a speech, what was he doing back here? Sheriff Burnside: This. It's a text message. Lisbon (reads SMS): "Meet me through the staff door. Carmen." Sheriff Burnside: Tracking the sender now. Cho: How many Carmens have you I. D.'d at the hotel? Sheriff Burnside: Two employees at the hotel, another two were attending the conference. They all have alibis, though. We're gonna keep looking. He had his wallet on him, all his credit cards, a lot of money, so you can rule robbery out. Jane: Maybe. Where's his speech? Sheriff Burnside: Hmm? Jane: Well, you just said Brava was on the way to deliver a speech. Wouldn't he have that speech on his person, or notes at least? Did you find anything? Sheriff Burnside: No. Lisbon: Cho, Find out everything you can about the speech. Cho: You got it. Lisbon (to Jane): What? Jane: Uh, there's a contradiction here. The mrder itself feels improvised, the fre extinguisher, the semipublic location. But the setup...The text message was planned. No robbery to speak of. No asault other than the blow to the head. It doesn't feel like an anger klling. It feels more like an act of desperation. The mrder wanted to keep Brava from doing something or saying something. Sheriff Burnside: That's just what our psychic said. Lisbon: Your psychic? Sheriff Burnside: Kristina Frye. Jane: You're kidding. Sheriff Burnside: What, you've heard of her? Jane (annoyed): Hmm, hmm In the hotel lobby Frye (to Stacey): Relax. Don't force the memory. It'll come, and the details will emerge. Jane: How much you paying her, Sheriff? Sheriff Burnside: That's none of your business. Jane: Oh, that much? I'm working for the wrong people. Lisbon: Ms. Frye, hi. It's nice to see you again. Frye (to Lisbon): You, too. Thank you. (to Stacey) We'll talk later. Jane: So you got the Sheriff wrapped around your finger. Frye: Sheriff Burnside is a man with an admirably open mind. Jane: Mm, yes. He's also a man that likes to watch television with a cat curled up asleep on his lap while his mother sits next to him and knits. But I'm sure he'd prefer that to remain a secret. Sheriff Burnside: Well, I thought you said you weren't psychic. Frye: Oh, he is. He's just not ready to accept it. Jane: Actually, it was the cat hair on your pants, lack of wedding ring and your general live-with-mom vibe. But if you want to believe that his dad Uncle Harry came down and whispered it in my ear, then be my guest. Frye: Don't you ever get tired of your own cynicism? Jane: Oh, weary as hell. What's the alternative? Lisbon (diverting the sheriff): Why don't we give them a little bit of time to catch up? Sorry about the mom thing. [ CREDITS ] In the hotel's grounds (Jane and Frye walk side by side) Jane: I have a question. What are you doing working with the cops? I thought you were a spiritual psychoanalyst. Did your patients catch on to you? Frye: I still have my practice. Why, you looking for a therapist? Jane: Uh, let me think about that. No. I heard that psychoanalysts are a disease that present themselves as a cure. And on top of that, you add in ghosts. Frye: Reflexive mockery, a sign of a troubled soul, Patrick. Jane: You got bored, didn't you? Got too easy taking their money. Frye: No. I think our gift obliges us to help other people. Jane: Oh, is that what you think? Frye: Mm-hmm. Jane: Our gift gives us an obligation to help. I like that line. I'm gonna use it. On the hotel terrace (Lisbon, Cho, the sheriff) Cho: Van Pelt says there's a problem tracing the text message that Brava got. Sheriff Burnside: What? Cho: Well, the trail leads to an electronic dad drop. No way to trace it back. But she's gonna look at his other phones, run down those calls. Lisbon: And what about the speech? Cho: There's no word yet on whether he had it on him or not. But we haven't talked to the wife yet. She's inside. In an apartment (Jane serves tea. Lisbon, Jane, Frye are there) Ilsa Brava: Hector and I knew something like this might happen. He always said there was too much at stake to waste time worrying. Lisbon: What were you and your husband worried about? Ilsa Brava: The trffick, people who profit from the enslavement of others. Hector was tireless in his pursuit of them. Lisbon: Is there anyone you can think of who may have wanted to kll him? Ilsa Brava: Agent, my husband's received half a dozen death thrat since Christmas. If you're asking for names, well, we didn't make a habit of filing the notes. Lisbon: He was gonna give a speech today. Did he have it on him? Ilsa Brava: Yes. Why? Lisbon: Well, there was some secrecy surrounding it. Uh, do, do you know what he was gonna talk about? Ilsa Brava: No, I didn't. That wasn't unusual. Hector rarely shared the details of his work with me. It was his way of protecting me. The person you need to talk to is Russell Bigelow. He did research for Hector. Frye: Ilsa, um... You've been told who I am and what I do? Ilsa Brava: Uh, yes. Frye: My communication with the other side is like a long-distance phone call with a bad connection. So often the messages I receive are meaningless to me, but not to those with ones who've passed over, okay? Ilsa Brava: I'm really not big on this, um, supernatural stuff. Jane: You're not alone. Frye: Your husband wants me to remind you of something, something that will make you smile. It's, uh... I'm getting an image of, um... cherry blossoms? Does that mean anything to you? Ilsa Brava: Yes. Uh... We were married under a cherry tree. How could you know that? Jane: He can recall foliage from his wedding day, but he can't tell you who klled him? Frye: Crossing over to the other side can be confusing. It's a bit like waking up from anesthesia. Sometimes it can take a while to get real clarity. Jane: Huh. Oh, well, makes sense. Lisbon: Does the name Carmen mean anything to you? Ilsa Brava: Uh, the opera. Why? Jane (playing with a dreamcatcher): That's pretty. Uh, my turn. Ilsa... did your husband ever cheat on you? Did you cheat on him? Ilsa Brava: Why would you ask that? Jane: You, you're very Noble and, and dignified. Very stoic. A Jackie O. thing going on there. Uh, maybe you don't give a crap. Maybe you're happy he's dad. (Brava thinks for a second and throws a saucer at Jane, who dodges it with a smile) Jane: Maybe not. Ilsa Brava: I'd like you to leave now. Lisbon: Good idea. Jane, enough fun. Let's go. Jane (holding out his empty cup to Ilsa Brava): Thank you for the tea. Very tasty. EXT. (Lisbon, Frye Jane and come down the stairs of Ilsa Brava's Apartment) Lisbon: Nice work. Jane: She was hiding something. I wanted to see what it was. Lisbon: And what'd you learn? Jane: Well, it's early days. Frye: She's got a good arm. Jane: Did learn that. INT. CBI office (Cho, Rigsby, Russell Bigelow) Russell Bigelow: I'm, I'm not so sure this is such a good idea I talk about this stuff. I, I, I'm just a researcher, you know? Rigsby: I... listen, Mr. Bigelow, we understand that you're frightened, but we really need to know what was in that speech. Russell Bigelow: You don't understand. Look, trffick generates billions. I mean, there are governments behind this stuff. It's like these people can get to anybody. I mean, Hector's death already proves that. Cho: Then we can offer you protection, Russell. But only if you tell us what you know. Rigsby: If you don't help us, then all the work that you've done to stop these guys will be for nothing. Russell Bigelow: trffick use quasi-legit businesses to launder their money around the world. I watch audit trails. We made a connection. That's what's in Hector's speech. Cho: What connection? Russell Bigelow: Have you ever heard of the world anti-trffick coalition? Rigsby: One of the backers of the conference, right? Russell Bigelow: Yeah. A major charity. It's run by a guy named Christopher Lynch. They assisted us in shutting down a bunch of networks, but the trffick continued. The money just went someplace else. So it took a while to trace it, but we found out the coalition is a front for a trffick group. You know, they used us to shut down their own competition, building themselves a monopoly. Here. Rigsby: That the speech? Russell Bigelow: My copy. Cho: And why didn't you notify the authorities once you figured out what was going on? Russell Bigelow: 'Cause Hector said that he wanted to denounce Lynch himself, in public. I said it was too dangerous, but he just wouldn't listen. Rigsby: Did Brava ever mention anybody named Carmen to you? Russell Bigelow: No. No, not to me. Why? CBI Corridors (Hightower and Rigsby walking) Hightower: So Bigelow is saying that the people fighting human trffick were trffick. Rigsby: Apparently. Lisbon: All right. You and Cho go talk to this Lynch. See what he has to say for himself. Rigsby: Okay, you got it. In a hotel conference room (Cho, Rigsby, Christopher Lynch) Lynch: Are you guys joking? Because your humor's in bad taste. Hector was a close colleague and a good friend. Rigsby: Who was planning to give a speech that would identify your coalition as a front for human trffick, Mr. Lynch. Cho: He named you specifically. Lynch: Look, someone is leading you down the garden path, gentlemen. Okay, there's no basis of truth in this. Surely you can see that it's in the trffick' interest to split us up, get us suspecting each other. Cho: Looks like Brava went past suspecting you. Lynch: Oh, please. Hector saw conspiracies everywhere. You know, he liked being in the spotlight. Cho: We read the speech. It makes a pretty convincing case. Lynch: Okay, look. We're gonna clear this up right now. I will have my lawyers give you access to all our records, and then you will see that the coalition has nothing to hide. Rigsby: Does the name "Carmen" mean anything to you? Lynch: No. Rigsby: Can you think of anybody who'd want to kll Brava? Lynch: Oh, yeah, maybe only a few hundred people. I ju, uh, wait a second. One thing. Second night of the convention, I saw Hector having an argument with a man named Tariq Sharif outside the hotel bar, and for my money, the argument was about a woman. Rigsby: How could you tell? Lynch: Because I know these guys, and they definitely weren't having a discussion about immigration policy. INT. CBI office (Jane enters, Cho and Rigsby are working on the computer) Lisbon: How's it coming with Lynch? Rigsby: Says a man called Tariq Sharif was fighting with Brava. Van Pelt: I'm checking for an I. D. on Sharif right now. Rigsby: I took a look at the records that Lynch's lawyer e-mailed over. First glance, couldn't find anything that supports Brava's accusations. Cho: I checked Lynch's phone records. He made a single call right after we left the interview to an anonymous disposable cell. Lisbon: Does it say where it originated? Rigsby: Here's the weird thing... Cho: The call ends at a cell tower out in the middle of nowhere. Lisbon: That is weird. Rigsby: Right? So we figured maybe we'd go check it out. Lisbon: All right. Van Pelt: Here we go. I got him. Here's Tariq Sharif. Night hotel bar (Lisbon and Jane pass through) Lisbon: I'll see if anybody's seen Sharif. (Lisbon goes to the bar) (to the bartender) Excuse me. (a young woman shows interest in Jane, he is embarrassed but flattered) He's about 6'2", gray hair, mustache? (she returns to Jane): He's by the pool. Okay. (After a few steps Jane stops, another young woman in the bar taps the stool next to her. Jane smiles but shakes his head) Lisbon (turns back to look for Jane): What are you doing? Jane: Nothing. Near the swimming pool (a man wearing sunglasses is seated) Lisbon: Mr. Sharif? Sharif: Yes? Lisbon: We're with the CBI. Frye (at table with Sharif): Agent Lisbon. Mr. Jane. Won't you sit down? Jane: Well, don't mind if we do. Frye: I was just telling Mr. Sharif that his spirit is troubled. There's a wrong that he burns to rectify. Jane: Mm, interesting. Sharif: Hector was an old friend. I, uh, pushed him to take up the trffick problem. Naturally, I feel responsible. Jane: They're great glasses. Jane: Could, could I try those? Sharif: Uh, no. Jane (trying to catch Sharif's glasses): Okay. Lisbon: Mr. Sharif, why don't you take off the sunglasses? Now. Jane: Oh! You got a... owie. Sharif: It was a misunderstanding. He was drunk. Lisbon: It didn't have anything to do with Ilsa, by any chance? Sharif: It was nothing like that. Jane: It was exactly like that. Frye: You have a strong connection with Ilsa, a bond. Jane: See? Sharif: Ilsa and I were very close. Uh... By chance, we found ourselves here alone on the first night. I expressed my deep admiration for her. She returned my feelings but was afraid to act on it. Hector found out. Hypocrite that he is, he attcked me. Lisbon: How is he a hypocrite? Sharif: Because he was unfaithful to her. Jane: Mm. I did say. Frye: You did. Lisbon: Mr. Sharif, you were saying that Mr. Brava was unfaithful? Sharif: I'm a pacifist, not a coward. You don't strike me without repercussions. I went to his suite the night before he died to confront him. A woman was leaving. (Flashback, a young woman rushing down the stairs of Brava's apartment) It wasn't Ilsa. Lisbon: Was it someone from the conference? Sharif: It wasn't that kind of woman. She was young, pretty, uh, cheap clothes. I assume she was a prosttute. Frye: Carmen. EXT. night (car illuminates a sign behind a fence) "Keep out" (Cho and Rigsby are in the car) Cho: Far as I can tell, this is the only structure within a half mile of the cell tower Lynch's call stopped at. Rigsby: Well, I don't see anything. Cho: Nope. Not a thing. (They get out the car) Rigsby: Think they have dogs? Cho: Probably. (climb the fence, walk, lit by flashlight, in a maze of wrecked cars) Rigsby: Hey, listen. (We hear, muffled calls from people) Cho: There. (Cho breaks a lock on a refrigerator truck, opens the door and they find twenty women, children crammed inside) Day. CBI offices, an interrogation room. (Lynch, Rigsby, Cho. Hightower and Jane are in the next room, they watch the examination) Lynch: You have misread the situation, agents. I am entirely ignorant of whatever it is that you are accusing me of. Rigsby: You're lying. We've got the phone records. You called your gons and told 'em to lock those women up so your guys could escape. Lynch: I'm sorry. gons? What gons? And records can be faked. Rigsby: No, those women in the truck, that was you. Hector Brava, that was you, too. Lynch: You're wrong. I weep for those poor souls you found. And as I said, Hector was a dear friend. Cho: What about Carmen? Lynch: Who's Carmen? And where's my lawyer? Hightower: Tough. Jane: Sociopath. Wolf among the sheep. Hightower: He's a caught wolf now. (Hightower and Jane leave the room, talking, walking towards the team's office) Hightower: Phone call's enough to connect him to about 20 different felony charges, not even counting the homicide. He's going away for a long time. (Jane stops in front of Lisbon's office where Frye is) Hightower: She likes you, that one. Jane: Which one? Hightower: The blonde one. Jane: What? Hightower: And you like her. Jane: Wha, I'm not so sure I know where this is headed. Hightower: You know exactly where this is headed. Do you ever consider dating again? Do you? Jane: How did we get to this point so quickly? Hightower: I'm just saying, I think it would be a good thing. (Lisbon and Frye leave the office, are with Jane and Hightower) Lisbon: What would? Hightower: Uh, charging Lynch with Brava's mrder. How close are we? Lisbon: A confession would help. Jane: Well, why don't you ask one of her spirits? I'm sure they'll provide the evidence that's needed. Lisbon: Where are you going? Jane: This case is solving itself without me. I have errands to run. (Jane walks away) Hightower: Lisbon. Lisbon: Yeah. (Jane waiting for the elevator, Frye joins) Frye: Christopher Lynch didn't kll Brava. Jane: No. The emotion he was trying to conceal was contempt. Lynch didn't consider him worth klling. Frye: A deeply evil man, but not one who committed this crime. Jane: Mm. (The elevator arrives, they go in) Frye: What if I didn't say "spirits"? What if I said "instincts"? Would that be something you could accept? Jane: Oh, well, maybe. Frye: 'Cause they're telling me to come with you. Jane: Are they? Why? Frye: 'Cause the last time you spoke with Ilsa Engels, she threw a teacup at your head. Jane: It was a saucer. It wasn't a teacup. And who said I'm going to see Ilsa Engels? Frye: Tell me that you're not. She thinks well of me. I can communicate with her husband. And she'll only talk to you if I'm there. Jane: Well, I guess I have no choice but to bring you along with me. Frye: You think you manipulated me into coming with you, don't you? Jane: No, I don't. I think you manipulated me into thinking I manipulated you into coming with me. (Jane gets out of the elevator on the first floor) Ilsa Brava's home (Jane, Frye, Ilsa Brava) Jane: Okay, I'm just gonna come straight out, and I'm gonna say I'm sorry for the, uh, obnoxious infidelity remarks earlier, and I humbly beg your forgiveness. Ilsa Brava: Mm. Jane: Sorry. Frye: Would you mind talking to us a little bit about Tariq Sharif? Ilsa Brava: He was drunk. He said things he shouldn't have said, and I excused myself from his company. Jane: And then your husband punched him in the face. Ilsa Brava: I didn't tell Hector to ht him, if that's what you're asking. I won't pretend I'm particularly sad that Hector punched him. He said things that he, he acted like a pig and an ass. Jane: A pig and an ass? That can't be good. Frye: We need to ask you again about the night before Hector died. (Jane notices a wedding photo placed on a coffee table, March 1997. Jane develops a mischievous smile.) Ilsa Brava: I, um... I had a department meeting. I stayed up in Berkeley. Frye: And, um, is there any chance that a woman could've been visiting with Hector that night? Ilsa Brava: If Tariq said that, he's lying. He wouldn't dare say that if Hector was still alive. It's disgusting. Jane (syllables of equal length): Disgusting. EXT. Day. The hotel grounds. (Jane and Frye walk side by side) Frye: Um, well, I, I guess I should go. Jane: Okay. Well, I still have some business to attend to here, so, uh... Frye: Yeah, I'm gonna catch a cab out front. Jane: Okay. Frye: Okay. (Frye walks away a few yards) Jane: Oh, nice call on the cherry blossoms, by the way. Frye: How so? Jane: The wedding photograph, March '97, D. C. March through to April is the annual Cherry Blossom Festival in D. C. Frye: Patrick, you credit me with far too much cunning. Jane: You're very good. Very compelling. Frye: Thank you. I'll see you later. Jane: Bye. (Jane returns to the hotel) Jane (phonecall to Lisbon): Lisbon. Meet me at the hotel bar. (In the hotel bar, Jane having a drink with a young woman) Jane: Cheers. (to Lisbon, who arrives) Oh, sweetheart, there you are. Join us. Uh, I've got us a room, and our friend here... (Jane turns to the woman sitting next to him) Blonde sitting at the bar with Jane: Novella. Jane: Novella. She's gonna help us explore some boundaries. Lisbon: No, she's not. Jane: Work with me, Teresa. (to Novella) You're pretty, uh, well, you're pretty adventurous, right? Because my, my lady, she, she gets a little out there at times. Lisbon: Gettin' there now. Novella: Let's go upstairs and see. You just have to work things out with Howie. Jane: Okay. Barkeep! Barman: How can I help you? Another bottle of the good stuff? Jane: Uh, no, thanks. Uh... you're the pimp? Barman: Hey. Not nice. Jane: Well, business manager, then. Barman: Concerned friend. Jane: Whatever. We'd like to take our little soirée upstairs to a more private location. Novella says that we have to talk to you. Barman: If it's gonna be the two of you, it's gonna be extra. Jane (indicating Lisbon): Sure. She's paying. Lisbon: I should probably tell you that I am Agent for the California Bureau of Investigation. (Lisbon shows her CBI card) Novella: Oh, wow. Jane: She has a gn, too. And handcuffs. Barman: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is entrapment. I want a lawyer. Jane: What you want is to take a look at this picture and tell me if you recognize this man. (Jane shows a picture to the bartender) Barman: Nope. Never seen him. (Did not recognize Brava) But that guy, him I recognize. (Recognizes Bigelow) He was in here getting a girl just the other night. The CBI offices - interrogation room. (Lisbon, Bigelow) Bigelow: No. No way. Look, I might not be Denzel, but I do okay. Besides, I couldn't afford a prosttute on my salary, believe me. Lisbon: Not for you. For your boss, Brava. Is that something you did a lot of, procuring women for him? Bigelow: Wow. The man's dad. Are you seriously gonna drag his name through the mud like this? Lisbon: I'm not looking to destroy anybody's reputation, Russell. I just need to know what happened. Bigelow: Ilsa was back in Berkeley. He called me and said he needed me to do him a favor. He couldn't go down to the bar himself, because somebody would recognize him. Lisbon: Somebody could've recognized you. Bigelow: Nobody did. I was lucky. Lisbon: It was hard for you. Bigelow: Sure. Sure, it would've been easier if he didn't do it at all, but... Look, a, all I could do was just keep him from getting caught. Lisbon: Is there anything you can tell us about the girl? Bigelow: Uh... I think her name was... Claret. INT. CBI office (Van Pelt, Claret) Claret: Claret. It's French. Van Pelt: What did Brava mean when he said he wanted to make it regular? Claret: Well, I mean, not, like, actually regular, because he died and all, but every Thursday afternoon, it was gonna be. He had a place up in Oakland, he told me. Van Pelt: Do you have an address? Claret: Sure. And a key, too. EXT. Day. Hector Brava's Oakland Townhouse. (Cho and Rigsby come to the house of Brava) Rigsby: I think it's this one on the left. Cho: Yeah. (in Brava's house) Rigsby: So would you ever, uh... You know... Cho: Pay for sex? No. Rigsby: Yeah. It's weird, right? Cho: Weird? No. Expensive. Rigsby: Hey. Check this out. Cho: "Carmen." Bingo. (Business card. "Therapeutic Massage. call Carmen 415.555.0168") CBI offices. (Cho, Rigsby, Jane, Lisbon) Lisbon: What do you got? Cho: Well, we tracked Carmen's phone number. It's an apartment rented to a Sally Alvarez. Lisbon: So "Carmen" was just a name she used for work? Cho: Mm. Alvarez has been picked up a couple times for soliciting, once for possession. She skipped on that apartment about a month ago, but her P. O. gave us an address that was good as of last week. Lisbon: Call Burnside. Tell him we're gonna pick her up. Van Pelt: Hey, boss. There was a Carmen Reyes who called Brava on his hotel phone twice the night before he died. Left her name on the hotel messaging system. Cho: There's no record of Sally Alvarez calling the hotel, home or cell. Lisbon: Where did the call originate from? Van Pelt: Sunset Horizon Motor Court in San Desidera. A Carmen Reyes checked in two days ago. She's still there. Lisbon: All right. Then we've got two locations to look for her at. Jane: Or we have two Carmens. Lisbon: Two Carmens? Jane: Two Carmens. Van Pelt: What does that mean, two Carmens? Jane: Well, it means things are getting interesting. Lisbon: Ah, well, as long as it's interesting for you. Jane: I'll go with Van Pelt. EXT. Day (Jane leans on the roof of a car looking at the motel) Jane: There's just something about motels, old-fashioned and illicit, both at the same time. Frye: Is that an invitation? (Frye arrives from behind and surprises Jane) Jane: Whoa. Well, look at you, just showing up like a bad Penny. Frye: I had a premonition you'd be here. Jane: Really? Frye: No. Lisbon told me. (Van Pelt arrives) Van Pelt: Upstairs. 204. Jane: Grace, you know Kristina? Van Pelt: Yeah. Hi. Frye: Hi. Van Pelt: Did your psychic powers tell you to come? Frye: I did have an instinct you were about to get a break in this case. Jane: Oh, I think you might have just made Agent Van Pelt's day. Van Pelt: We're looking for Carmen Reyes. Actually, we have two addresses for her. This is just one of 'em. Her real name is Sally Alvarez. Frye: Wait a second. Sally Alvarez. I know that name. She communicated with me a short time ago. She's passed over. Sally Alvarez property (Cho, Rigsby, Sally's building caretaker) Caretaker: I'm pretty sure she's still in there. Sally? Sally? Cho: Open it up. Step back, sir. (The custodian opens the door of the apartment, Cho and Rigsby enter inside) She's down. (Cho phones Van Pelt) Van Pelt: Hey, Cho. Cho: We found Sally Alvarez. She's been dad for about six hours. Blunt force trauma to the head. Van Pelt: She's dad? Oh, my God. That's amazing. Cho: Why? Van Pelt: Kristina Frye said Sally passed over. She predicted it. Cho: She did? Van Pelt: Yes. Jane: Can I have that? (taking the phone from Van Pelt) Thank you. Cho, please do not believe this mystic mumbo jumbo. Gullible Grace buried the lead. I was right. There were two Carmens. Cho: There were? Jane: That's right, and we have the real one right here. Carmen Reyes. She claims to be Hector Brava's daughter. CBI Interrogation Room (Van Pelt and Carmen Reyes. Jane, Lisbon and Frye in the next room observe the interview) Carmen Reyes (Brava's daughter): A year ago, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Uh, it got bad very fast. She was gone in less than a month. Before she died, she told me Hector Brava was my father. And after the funeral, I wrote to him. I never heard back. I thought maybe he'd forgotten her. I wrote there was nothing I wanted from him, only to meet the man who was my father. Van Pelt: He still didn't answer? Carmen Reyes: I saw somewhere that he was delivering a speech here. I thought I'd go confront him. Van Pelt: You were angry. Carmen Reyes: I wanted to talk to him. Van Pelt: Did you? When? The morning he died? Carmen Reyes: The night before. I went to his suite. Van Pelt: What happened? Carmen Reyes: He let me in. He was friendly, until I told him I was his daughter. He got very upset and angry. He said, I could not be his daughter. He said, he already met his daughter, and what kind of scam was I trying to play? He turned so pale and shook all over. He threw me out of the room and locked the door, so I left. Van Pelt: And that was last time you saw him? Carmen Reyes: On the news, it said what happened. I didn't know what to do. Van Pelt: And what about the text message? Did you send that? Carmen Reyes: I don't have a phone. Jane: So is she telling the truth? Frye: I'm not sure. Brava's spirit is deeply conflicted. I can't get a clear reading. Jane: What are you using, dial-up? Lisbon: My question is, if she's telling the truth, why was Sally Alvarez pretending to be Carmen Reyes? (Cho enters the room) Cho: I talked to Bigelow. He kept a record of all work correspondences but didn't have anything to do with Brava's personal letters. There's no way to know if her story checks out or not. Lisbon: If Brava's her father, she's got motive. Jane: She's not the only one. (Jane leaves the room) Ilsa Brava's appartment. (Lisbon, Jane, Frye, Ilsa Brava) Ilsa Brava: I could never have children. Is it true? Is she really Hector's daughter? Lisbon: We don't know, ma'am. She's agreed to take a paternity test. I think she might be telling the truth. Ilsa Brava: So you think she might be the one that klled Hector. Jane: Well, maybe... and then maybe it was you. Lisbon: I have to say, ma'am, I, it's pretty hard to believe that you didn't know about his behavior. Ilsa Brava: Yes, I knew. Hector was a passionate and heroic man who devoted himself to helping others. His flaws were correspondingly oversized. Lisbon: And his behavior was okay with you? Ilsa Brava: I accepted it. The good in him outweighed the bad. If he'd told me, maybe I could've done something to prevent it. Maybe I could've saved him. Jane: What for? How could you not want to get away from his serial philandering, from the prison of your loveless marriage? Ilsa Brava: That's not true! I loved my husband, and he loved me! Jane: Well, maybe we can get in contact with him now. Ilsa Brava: You could do that, couldn't you? Jane: It would certainly clear up a few things. Ilsa Brava: Would you do that? Would you talk to my husband? Frye: Yes, Ilsa. Lisbon (to Jane): What are you doing? Jane: What does it look like I'm doing? Hotel Grounds. (Jane, Lisbon, Frye, Sheriff Burnside) Jane: Okay, so Van Pelt is bringing Carmen. Rigsby's gonna bring Richard Bigelow. Cho is gonna pick up Tariq Sharif and Stacey. So we're all set. Sherrif Burnside: What's all set for what? Jane: We're all set for, uh, Kristina Frye to contact Hector Brava's spirit. Frye: I need everybody connected with his passing. Sherrif Burnside: Okay. Well, uh, I guess... Jane (to Frye, in a deep voice): Now listen, just make sure Brava's spirit has a thirst for revenge. He wants to put some kind of a curse on the kller, you know what I mean? That kind of thing. And then I'll take it from there. Frye: I can't do that. Jane: Yes, you can. It is a necessary lie. Frye: I can only contact Hector Brava's spirit and speak as he wants me to. To do otherwise would be to abuse my gift. (Frye goes off followed by the Sheriff Burnside) Lisbon: Everything okay? Jane: Yep. Everything's good. It's perfect. Ilsa Brava's appartment. (Ilsa, Frye, Jane) Ilsa Brava: Are we starting now? Frye: Almost. Jane: I'll just get the door. (lets in: Bigelow, Carmen Reyes, Tariq Sharif, Claret) Welcome. Come on in. Thanks for coming. Frye: It was your husband's request. Jane: Your husband's daughter. (Everybody sits) Frye: Well, thank you all for coming. Patrick will be assisting me. So in order for this to work, I need everybody to be calm and focused. I want you to look at the candle in the center of the table. Focus on the flame and concentrate on Hector. Now... he's here. I can feel him. Hector... Who do you wish to speak to? The kller's here. Know this, Hector Brava says... vengeance will come. Your blood will spill... before the rising sun. Jane (in a trance): Ohh. I sense him. I, I can almost see an image. I, I, it's hazy. Oh, it... Ohh, it's as if it could just... Frye: Hector. Hector, wait. Stop. Don't go. Show us who the kller is. Jane: There it is. A door. "Employees only." And an empty hallway. Footsteps... close... Close... (Jane frappe du plat de la main la table basse devant lui. Bigelow, son voisin de droite rebondit sur sa chaise, tombe avec elle) (Jane slaps the coffee table on front of him. Bigelow, on his right bounced off his chair) Cries of the women of the meeting: Aah! Ugh! Oh! Jane: I see you. Bigelow: I'm sorry. (He rights his chair and sits.) Man, you scared me to death with that. Whew. Jane: It's okay. You can relax, Bigelow. It's over. I know it was you that did it. Bigelow: What, because I got frantic and fell out of my chair? (Lisbon enters the room with a uniformed police officer) Lisbon: Because you managed Brava's correspondence, you were the first one to read Carmen's letters, yes? Jane: You set Brava up on a date with Sally and had her pretend to be Carmen, and then you told Brava that he had sex with his own daughter. Tariq Sharif: Lord. Jane: And then the real deal showed up, so you faked Carmen's message, and when Brava walked through that service door, you klled him. Lisbon: And you klled poor Sally Alvarez to cover your tracks. Jane: Mm-hmm. Frye: And now you'll pay for the crime you committed. Your blood will spill before the sun rises. Jane: That part I'm not so sure about. CBI Office - Interrogation Room (Bigelow, Cho) Bigelow: It came in the mail. Just out of the blue. Just a... letter describing an affair Brava had 20 years ago, naming the woman and the place. And that came from Carmen Reyes. Cho: The real Carmen. That gave you all the facts you needed- things about the affair that only Brava and Carmen's mother would know. Right? Bigelow: Yeah. Cho: So why'd you do it? Why put a man through that kind of suffering? Was it the money? Or did you just like having Brava in your power? Bigelow: Do you know I've been running numbers on trffick for Brava and setting him up on his dates for, like, five years? And do you think that he ever, ever thanked me? Said, "I'm sorry"? Said, "I'm gonna make this up to you one day, Russell"? I knew Sally from a whorehouse up in Northern California. I told her if she pretended to be Carmen, we could blackmail Brava and split the money. The letter just gave us everything we needed to make Brava think that she was the real deal. And he was not one for asking a whole lot of questions, so... Cho: Then the real Carmen showed up. Bigelow: Yeah. He called me as soon as she left his room, freaked. So I played dumb. But then the next morning, he called me and he said, "we need to talk." It was pretty clear he figured it out. Cho: And so you went to the hotel and texted Brava from the service hallway. (Flashback, Bigelow envoie le sms a Brava, qui va au rendez-vous fixé croit-il par Carmen, Bigelow le frappe a deux reprises avec l'exticteur, s'enfuie) (Flashback, Bigelow sends SMS to Brava, who goes to the appointment he believes to be with Carmen, Bigelow hits Brava twice and runs off.) Bigelow: I just, I just wanted to keep him quiet. Cho: And Sally Alvarez? You had to keep her quiet, too, right? Bigelow: You know, I was a really good researcher. Cho: I bet. Come on. Lisbon's Team Office (Van Pelt, Carmen Reyes) Carmen Reyes: Agent Van Pelt, you wanted to see me? Van Pelt: Oh, yeah. Hi, Carmen. I just wanted to go over a few things in your statement. Let's go in the kitchen. (Van Pelt and Carmen leave the office Frye enters, goes to Jane who is sitting on the sofa, reading a book) Frye: So... Nice working with you. Jane: Yeah. Yeah, you were very good back there. Uh, you almost had me with the whole "I can't misuse my gift for fear of what might happen" bit. Frye: I did what I said I would. I spoke the words the spirits told me to speak, nothing more. Jane: Really? Frye: Don't you know me by now? Don't you know I wouldn't lie about a thing like that? (Hightower and Lisbon arrive) Hightower: Ms. Frye, thank you so much. We couldn't have closed this one without you. Jane: Well, that's debatable. Frye: You're welcome. Lisbon: Although I have to say it looks like the spirits got it wrong. I guess being dad doesn't make you infallible. Frye: Well, what do you mean? The kller was caught, and justice was served. Lisbon: Sure. But no blood was spilled. Look, he's right there. (En arriere plan, Cho signe les papier pour faire emmener Bigelow par un policier, Carmen Reyes donne un coup de poing a Bigelow qui saigne) (In the background, Cho signs Bigelow's arrest papers, Carmen punches Bigelow) Carmen Reyes: Hey! Hey, hey! mrder! Jane: Oh, come on. EXT. Night (Frye and Jane leave the CBI Building) Jane: That was pure luck. Admit it. Frye: If you say so. Jane: Oh, I know so. The dad are d*ad. You can't talk to them. Frye: And yet I do. Jane: Yeah... You're very good. Frye: I go this way. Jane: Okay. Frye: It was nice seeing you again. Jane: You, too. (They shake hands, Frye departs) Frye: Bye. Jane: Kristina? Frye: Yes. Jane: That's with a "K, " right? Frye: Yes. Jane: You wanna go get a coffee? I'll drink tea myself, but you can drink as much coffee as you want. Frye: Yeah, I'd like that. I can't right now, though. I, I have to be somewhere else. Uh, maybe some other time? Jane: Some other time. Frye: Sorry, not "maybe." Definitely. Sometime soon. Call me. (Frye walks away, Jane stays put, a small smile on his face)	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x22 - Red Letter"}	foreverdreaming
(night, terrace of a fancy restaurant. Giorgio's Italian Restaurant. Sacramento, California) (Jane and Frye seated at table) Jane: You clean up very nicely, if you don't mind me saying so. Frye: I don't mind you saying so. Thanks. You look... pretty much the same as you always look. Jane: Oh... good. This is my date outfit. Frye: Really? Frye: Is this your first date? I mean, um, since your wife died? Jane: Do I seem out of practice? Gerard (waiter): Hi. Jane: Hi. Gerard: Uh, my name's Gerard. I'll be your server this evening. Would you like to hear our specials? Frye (taking Gerard's left hand in hers): I'm sorry to interrupt, Gerard, but I'm getting a message from, uh, your mother. A Janette no, um, Janis. Gerard: Yes. Frye: Um... I'm sorry for your loss. She's happy now. And she wants you to know that she sends her deepest love. And, um... your Uncle... Ed says, "Roll Tide." Does that mean anything to you, Roll Tide? Gerard: My mother's brother Edward. He died five years ago. He was a tight end at Alabama in the '60s. Oh. Uh, they're called the Crimson Tide. Uh, that's their rallying cry- "Roll Tide." Frye: Oh. (Jane not happy, speaks up) Jane: Well, uh, I'd like to have the soup Du jour and the lamb, medium, and the arugula salad and the fish for the lady. Thank you. Gerard (taking the menu from Jane): Thank you. Gerard (taking the menu from Frye): Thank you. (Jane shakes his head) Frye: What? Jane: Oh, come on. Frye: You're so ferocious in your lack of faith. I mean, is it so hard to imagine that I'm not putting on an act? That...that I really am what I say I am? His mother sent a message. I'm meant to help. That's all. It happens to me all the time. Jane: Okay. I'm sorry. Roll Tide. (Jane toasts) (Van Pelt at the CBI office, she is preparing to leave when an alarm sounds on her computer, she sits down, tired with a sigh. Rigsby, filing papers, notices.) Rigby: Bad guys just keep on coming, huh? Van Pelt: I hate the Internet. Rigby: Listen, if you like, I can deal. You go. Van Pelt: No, it's okay. Van Pelt: It's just a Web alert for when a name we're interested in pops up. (she clicks on a video link on his screen. Sees the image, a surveillance camera, someone goes to a house, breaks in ...) Wayne? Rigby: What is it? Oh. Van Pelt: This is not good. Rigby: Relax, it's... it's just a hoax. It's staged, almost certainly. Van Pelt (goes into a bedroom, approaches the bed): Oh my god At the restaurant Frye: I didn't put... uh, no. Jane: Yes. Frye: No. No. You went to jail, really? Jane: Yes, I did. What's so hard to believe? Frye: For how long? Jane: I was there for two days and two very luxurious nights. Frye: Uh-huh. Yeah. And how'd you get out? Jane: I just escaped. Frye: Uh-huh. I don't believe you for one second. Jane: It wasn't... it wasn't that difficult. It's all timing. Frye (bursts out laughing): Uh-huh. Jane: I'm not kidding. Okay. Frye (still laughing): Huh. Jane: Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom. (Jane asks Gerard where the bathroom is) Ah, thank you. (Jane retreats to the bathroom, rinses hands, dries them, turns his wedding ring on hisfinger, looks at it, throws the paper towels on the bin and exits, he returns to the restaurant terrace) Jane (on return from the restroom): Hey. (picks up his napkin from the chair) Kristina, um... (he seems sad, probably about to say that he'd prefer to go home) Jane (his phone rings): Oh. I'm so sorry. It's work. (he answers) Hello? Van Pelt (in the office): Jane, you need to come to the office. Right now. (On voit sur l'écran de Van Pelt, the face on the wall.) (We see Van Pelt's screen) (Rigsby puts her hand on Van Pelt's shoulder.) [ CREDITS ] CBI Office (On Van Pelt's computer screen, we see the girl wake up, see the intruder and scream) (Lisbon, Hightower Jane and Van Pelt look at the screen. Van Pelt speeds up the mrder, we are left looking at the wall on the paused screen) Van Pelt: It was posted on the Internet an hour ago on a popular notice board. There's a message that goes with it. Van Pelt (reads the message): "I am becoming what I was meant to be. Your children's children will worship me." Van Pelt: We don't know when or where the video was made. Lisbon: There appears to be an '08 Silverado parked outside the house, so it's gotta be at least that recent. Hightower: Has Red John made video? Or issued statements like this before? Lisbon: No. Jane (thanks Frye who brings him a cup of tea in a blue cup, she has a mug.): Oh, thank you. Frye: Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt. Hightower: Oh. Hi, Kristina. Uh, good to see you. Frye: Yeah. That poor girl. Hightower: Yeah, yeah. Frye: For what it's worth, I'm getting a sense that she died very recently. Her body will be discovered very soon. She's near water. (Jane drinks his tea) Hightower: Does this feel like Red John to you? Frye: Uh, I'm not getting a read on that. The whole Internet aspect is interesting, though, isn't it? I mean, why put it up there? Lisbon: This clip's had over a million viewers. A desire for fame? Hightower: Patrick, you're being very quiet. What are you thinking? Jane: Uh, I'd have to see the crime scene. Rigsby: C. H.P. just reported a homicide in the Bay area. Smiley face on the wall. College student named Marley Sparrow. Roommate found her, called it in about a half-hour ago. Lisbon: Let's get ready to go. Frye (to Jane, while the others leave the office): Bay area? Jane: Uh, yes. That is close to water. That's, uh, that's uncanny. Hightower: Oh, come on. That's pretty good. Frye: I am feeling a strong connection to this case somehow. Jane: Madeline, can we have a word, please? Hightower: Yeah. Excuse us. Jane: She's gonna ask if she can come along with us. Now obviously, that's your call. But I hope that you refuse, because I won't work with her. I will quit. Hightower: What's your objection? If she can help us, why not? Jane: Nothing she says is more than clever guesswork. Hightower: So she has essentially the same skills as you, without all the drama. What's the deal? Jane: Red John is mine. Hightower: Okay. Okay, I hear you. Jane: Thank you. Frye: I'm sorry to interrupt. Jane (leaves the two women to discuss): Oh, please. Uh... Frye: Um, I was going to offer my services, but I get the sense Mr. Jane is telling you that he won't work with me. The last thing I want to do is upset this investigation, but if I have any more feelings about the case, could I call you? Hightower: Of course, Kristina. Always be glad to hear your thoughts. Have a good night. Frye: Thank you. (Jane joins Frye in the lift, cup of tea in hand) Jane: Listen, uh, I... Frye: I completely understand. No hard feelings. Jane: Okay. Frye: That was an unusual date, though, huh? Jane: Yes, very. Frye: Thank you. I'll see you soon, I hope. Um, would you... (hands him his mug, he takes it) Jane: oh, yeah, sure. (Frye approaches Jane and gave him a kiss on the left cheek.) Oh. Jane: Bye. (Frye enters, the doors close) Frye: Bye. The victim's house (Jane enters the victim's bedroom) Jane (to both scientists working): Guys give me a minute, please. Thank you. Jane (to the victim, raising the clear plastic that covers the body): Hey, Marley. We'll get this sorted out for you. (He walks around the room) Brett Partridge (bursting into the room): Hey, hey, Patrick Jane. Long time. So qué pasa, dude? My people need to do their thing. Jane: I won't be long. (Jane looks at the photos, objects ...) Brett Partridge: Oh. You hoovering up the, uh, ol' psychic ectoplasm? Jane: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing. Brett Partridge: We have a schedule to keep, amigo. Ticktock. Sooner you're done fooling around, sooner my people can find actual clues. Jane: She's from Iowa. She played the guitar. She liked dark chocolate, sudoku and snowboarding. Shy, but strong. Honorable, modest. Didn't drink or smoke. Parents died when she was very young. And after college, she wanted to go into family law and help foster kids like herself. Or become a singer. She hadn't made up her mind yet. Brett Partridge: Yeah, that's great, dude. But where's Red John? Jane: Oh, this wasn't Red John. Brett Partridge: So you say. Jane: So I say. Brett Partridge (to Jane, as he leaves the room): Jerk. Jane (snapping his fingers as he enters the room): Oh, make sure you have your people send those papers and journals to the CBI office. Brett Partridge: Will do. Jane: Thank you. (Jane leaves the room) University of Pacific Heights campus, Orinda, California (a chapel, students are there, one of them with a professional film camera) (Lisbon and Jane face a couple of students) Ruth: Marley was the best. The best person. A beautiful soul. Lisbon: Ruth you found her body, yes? When you entered your house, did you notice anything unusual before you found the body? Something missing or out of place? Ruth: No, I don't think so. Lisbon: How long had you been gone? Ruth: Two days, snowboarding. Marley was supposed to come, but then her boyfriend was coming over to see her, so she stayed. Lisbon: Boyfriend's name? Ruth: Grady Shipp. He's a policeman in San Francisco. They've been dating for, like, a month. Lisbon: Okay. What was he like? Nice guy? Ruth: Marley really liked him a lot. Said he was super nice but I don't know. We never actually met him. Lisbon: No? Ruth: She'd go to his place, mostly. And when he came by here, he'd wait for her in his car. Jane: Weird, no? Ruth: I think Marley was a bit embarrassed for hooking up with a cop, you know? Jane: Ah. Ruth: So she kept him on the down low. Lisbon: Embarrassed, why? Ruth: Marley was cool. And, well, cops are sort of nerds with gn, aren't they? Daylan: Ruth, hello? Ruth: No offense. Jane (laughs out loud): Sorry. In a university classroom. (Lisbon and a professor) Miss Ketchum (Professor of Criminology): Marley Sparrow? Yes, I was her academic advisor for two semesters. Nice enough girl, but not as clever as she likes to think she is. But none of 'em are, are they? Ha! Lisbon: Did you notice any changes in her behavior recently? Miss Ketchum: No. But nor do I pay close attention. They're all empty vessels to be filled with knowledge. Here is a horrible coincidence. Last semester, I taught a criminology elective. mrder, myth and marketing the serial kller as commodity. Red John was actually mentioned in our class discussions. Isn't that eerie? Lisbon: Who mentioned him? What'd they say? Miss Ketchum: Oh, damned if I know. It was eight or nine months ago. Lisbon: Do you have a student list from the class? Miss Ketchum: You know, I do. I do. Somewhere. I do... Lisbon: We would love toget a look at that list. Night - O'Reilley Tavern. 21 Larry's Golf. (Cho, Rigsby, Lisbon and Jane sit at table) Cho: So there's no Grady Shipp with any San Fran police agency. There's no Grady Shipp, period. Rigsby: There was a Grady Shipp once. He klled and ate his next-door neighbors in Little Rock back in the '90s. He was lethally injected by the state of Arkansas in '02. Lisbon: Huh. So Marley's boyfriend doesn't want anybody to see his face, and he named himself after a cannibal. That's two strikes against him. Cho: Shame we don't have a name or a description. Lisbon: The roommate, Ruth, said that he never got out of his car. Maybe we can get a make and model from her. Jane: Grady Shipp. In 1989, he did a 6-month spellin the same wing at Lompoc as Orval Tanner. Rigsby: Orval Tanner? Cho: Red John's friend. Lisbon (to Jane): You have the entire Lompoc prison registry in your head? Jane: Well, only the relevant sections. Lisbon: Wh-what does it mean? Is it a joke? (Jane looks at the TV screen. Journalist and Frye are sitting. Subtitles) "Jackie: I'm talking with well known psyc medium Kristina Frye." Cho: Marley's boyfriend is Red John. That doesn't make any sense. Jackie (the Journalist): "In the hunt for this beast known as "Red John." Frye: Well, he... he's not a beast, Jackie. He's a human being. Now he has done terrible thing but is still capable of redemption... like all of us. Frye (s'adresse a l'écran): Red John... If you're listening to us now, I urge you to reach out and get help. You can change. (written on the screen): you can step back into the light. (Jane is shocked, he gets up and runs out of the tavern. The 3 others do not understand until Cho, Lisbon look to the TV screen, the 3 are glued!) Hightower's Office Jane (to Frye): What the hell are you thinking?! Don't you understand who you're dealing with? Frye: I do understand, yes. Jane: No, you don't. Clearly, you don't understand. Hightower: I asked Miss Frye here so that I could fully express my deep dismay. Frye: I was speaking from the heart. Hightower: That may be, but you were also hustling for business. And that's okay, but you present me now with a problem. We don't have any obligation to protect you, but... Frye: I wasn't asking for protection. It's completely unnecessary. Red John is not coming after me. Jane: Are you blind? You've done exactly what I did. I went on television and talked about him as though I knew him, and he klled my wife and child. Frye: Patrick, he was punishing you because you lied about him. I was telling the truth. He won't take offense with me. He might even listen to what I said. In fact, I-I believe he will. People do change, Patrick. It's possible. Agent Hightower, I'm truly sorry for dismaying you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some other appointments. (Frye exits the office) Jane (to Hightower): She needs 24 hour protection... the best that you can provide. Lisbon (to Rigsby, in the CBI corridors): The SAC P. D. special protection unit will provide security, the CBI will be on the inside, bodyguarding Miss Frye. Jane and I will take the first shift. The next 24 hour rotation will be split among us, alternating with the Sparrow case. Rigsby: Well, we're gonna have to stop protecting her sooner or later. That's when he'll go for her. He'll just wait. Lisbon (entrant dans le bureau): Van Pelt, what do you got? Van Pelt: We're looking for Grady Shipp, right? This is Marley's address book. (she holds pink address book) Rigsby: That's different writing. Maybe that's Grady Shipp himself. Van Pelt: Can I? Lisbon: Keep digging. Rigsby, take Cho with you. Check it out. Rigsby: Yeah, you got it. Rigsby and Cho get out of the car in front of 1327 E. Alta Loma, Oakland, California. (address contained in Marley's address book) Cho (through a padlocked gate): Hello? (Rigsby knocks, no answer, he opens it and both enter) Rigsby and Cho hear a noise coming from upstairs, they go up the stairs. Rigsby: Hello? (Up the stairs they take a left. A sofa, a table, a radio on it. In the middle of the room, a bucket.) Cho: Blood. Rigsby: Yep. (in the half-filled bucket of blood, a flat brush) Cho (approaching to look in the bucket): Pig's blood, maybe. Rigsby: For practice? (footsteps coming from above, a glass roof, suddenly a sht through it, Cho and Rigsby take cover before going to the pursuit of the intruder) Cho: Police! Stop! Police! Stop! After a chase in the building, the person escapes on a motorbike. Cho: I'll call it in. (Rigsby catches his breath and notices a camera lens cap on the floor) Cho: What is it? In front of a townhouse, in Sacramento: "pscychic healings by KristinA FRYE american board of medium ..." (Jane and Lisbon have just entered Frye's house) Jane: A lens cap. Interesting. Practicing the Red John symbol, and not just watching us pursue him, but filming the pursuit. Lisbon: What does it mean? Jane: It means Marley Sparrow's killerloves cameras. He's a voyeur... A fanboy, a slasher movie geek. Huh Rigsby and Cho listen to Jane by speaker phone. Rigsby: Great. But where does that take us now? Like in a car? Jane: Well, try the campus film club. Rigsby: All right. Jane: Nice place, huh? Tasteful. Lisbon: To me, it looks like we're about to pay way too much money to get our legs waxed. Jane: Hmm. Frye: Hi. I was just making some lunch. Would you like something to eat? Lisbon: Sure, thanks. Jane: I'm good. Thanks. Frye: Patrick, uh, on reflection, I'm truly sorry for the situation I put you in. I hadn't thought through your involvement. Jane: All right, I-I-I'll eat some lunch. Just please don't make a fuss. university library (Rigsby and Cho join Marley's teacher, Miss Ketchum) Cho: Miss Ketchum? Miss Ketchum: Oh, policemen. Okay. I knew I'd forgotten something. Uh... Okay. There it is. I thought for sure I'd sent that. Rigsby: Sent what? Miss Ketchum: Uhuh, the class list of the students in my criminology class. Your colleague had asked for it. Rigsby: And you're chair of the film club also? Miss Ketchum: I have that honor. You know what? I have the film club register here as well. Okay... Yes, yes. Would you like to see it? Rigsby: Yes. That would be, uh, good. Miss Ketchum: Okay. Ah, there you go. Miss Ketchum: Oh, how thrilling!Am I a suspect? Cho: And where were you Tuesday night, Miss Ketchum? Miss Ketchum: Oh, how thrilling! Am I a suspect? Cho: Are you? Miss Ketchum: Well... I'd like to think I can still summon that kind of passion. Rigsby: So where were you? Miss Ketchum: Home. Alone. Reading a mrder mystery, actually. Cho: Now there's only one name onboth lists... Wesley Blankfein. Rigsby: Oh, wait. You just made a face. Miss Ketchum: Well, he is a sweet boy. Rather a good actor, actually. But, uh... strange. Rigsby: Strange? How? Miss Ketchum: I can't really put my finger on it. It's a look in his eyes. City University corridor (the caretaker reacts to the sight of a photocopy of Wesley Blankfein's student card. "pacific heights. student id card. Wesley Blankfein. 109340983. barcode + color photo) Caretaker: Yep, that's him. I remember when he moved in. I mentioned to him he was a little older than most of our students, and he said he needed to escape from his mother. Which, uh, I thought was an odd response. Cho: And when did you last see him? Caretaker: Uh, three weeks ago... Excuse me. Uh, maybe. I figured he had a girlfriend. Rigsby: Nothin here. Dylan and Ruth arrivent dans le couloir. Caretaker: Oh, hey, Dylan. Rigsby: Oh, hey, you guys. Quick question. Cho: Now you guys said Marley's boyfriend waited for her outside in a car? Ruth: Yes. Cho: Do you recall what type of car he drove? Ruth: Um, it was black, I think. I'm bad with cars. Dylan: It was a... it was a black S. U.V. Rigsby: What car did Blankfein drive? Caretaker: Uh, he didn't have a car. Chez Frye. Lisbon: Huh. Okay. Try locating Blankfein's mother. Maybe she knows where he is. All right. Let me know. Wesley Blankfein's in the wind. Looks like he might be good for this. Frye: I don't think so. Marley made contact with me. The name "Blankfein" doesn't resonate. Lisbon: Marley made contact with you? Frye: Yes. Jane: Of course. Uh, I think we might have had enough of your crime-fighting skills, Kristina. Might be best to stick to the crystal therapy and the, uh... foot massages? Frye: Reflexology. Jane: Right. Reflexology. Lisbon (answers the phone): This is Lisbon. Agent Senton, FBI: Agent Senton, FBI Yeah, we got a case here in Lake Tahoe. Looks like your boy Red John. Victim's name is a Jacqueline Sandoval. You wanna come take a look? Frye: You can smile your arrogant smile and act like you know everything about everything, but you don't. There are whole worlds that you can't even begin to understand. Jane: Synchronized swimming is, uh, the only world that Springs to mind. But I'm sure you're right. There may be many others. Frye: What's the matter? Lisbon: Red John klled the woman who interviewed you. Frye: Oh, my God. (Jane looks as if to say, "I told you so!") Oh, my God. Lake Tahoe, Nevada (Jane is in the victim's room, the victim is covered with a yellow plastic sheet, he raises it, breaths faster, replaces it. Exits the room, the home, joins Lisbon) Jane: It's Red John, all right. Lisbon: Okay, uh, I'll reach out to the feds. I'll make sure they keep us in the loop. Jane: We gotta get back to Kristina Frye's place. Lisbon: There are cops all around her house. Van Pelt is with her, and there's other CBI agents on their way. She's safe. I am confident Red John's not gonna go there. Jane: That is exactly why he might. Lisbon: If he does, we'll get him. You really wanna hang out at Kristina's house, waiting for Red John to show up? Let's just go back to the office, and we'll work the Marley Sparrow case. Jane: There's nothing useful that I can do there. This Blankfein character... he looks good for it, right? Lisbon: Fine. Go and wait for Red John. It's not a good idea, though. (Lisbon s'en va and laisse Jane planté la) Jane: Hey, we're in Nevada. You can't just walk off and leave me here. Back in the CBI offices. Lisbon: Hey. Rigsby: Hey, boss. So Wesley Blankfein's mother is Myra Hauser-Blankfein. Address in Franklin heights. Cho: And she owns a black S. U.V. Like Grady Shipp drives. Lisbon: Good. Go check her out. Rigsby: Now? Well, it's a long drive. Lisbon: You leave now, you'll be there by the morning. (night, Jane arrives at Frye's, enters the house, a policeman opens the outside door, another the door) Jane: Grace, thank you. (Van Pelt gets up from the sofa and leaves the room, Jane walks towards Frye.) (to Frye) How you doing? Frye: I'm doing fine. Jane: Red John certainly made his point. Quite possibly, he'll leave things be now. Frye: I know he will. I have a clear vision of him. He needs to create fear, that's all. He's done that now, and he feels calm. Jane: Will you just stop that nonsense? You wanted to promote your psychic business, and...and you made a big mistake. Now will you just...will you please just own it?! Frye: Why are you here? Jane: I am here because I want to protect you. Frye: And how are you gonna protect me? If Red John comes through that door right now, what are you gonna do, hypnotize him? Jane: I will do what I need to do. Frye: If Red John wants to reach me, he will. I choose to believe that he doesn't want to. Now please, go away. Jane: I'm gone. (Jane marches off, Frye watches him leave) Day - Rigsby and Cho knocking on the door of a motel apartment. Madame Blankfein's Neighbor: Uh, you're wasting your time. Rigsby: Ma'am, we're looking for Mrs. Blankfein and her son. Madame Blankfein's Neighbor: Gone. And left the cats to starve. It's not right. Rigsby: Do you know where they went? Madame Blankfein's Neighbor: Uh, nope. Never leaves before. Never. Every day, 11:00, like a machine, she's watching her TV shows. Three days now I hear nothing. Quiet like the grave. Cho: How about her son Wesley? Have you seen him? Madame Blankfein's Neighbor: Nope. Gone, too. Cho: Did it occur to you that Mrs. Blankfein might be dad in there? Madame Blankfein's Neighbor: Yes, it did. But there'd be a smell, wouldn't there, if she was dad? Cho: Step back inside, please, ma'am. Rigsby: You good? Cho: Yeah. (They enter the apartment, a dozen cats meow) Rigsby: Bedroom's clear. (Cho opens a triptych mirror. Dozens of pictures of Marley, hearts drawn on it. Rigsby's face is drawn on the central mirror) Rigsby: Oh, jeez. Cho: "G. S." Grady Shipp. Rigsby: Bingo. CBI office (thetriptych mirror is on an easel, Rigsby, Cho and Lisbon look it) Rigsby: Inside the mind of Wesley Blankfein... A.K.A. Grady Shipp. Lisbon: Not pretty. Rigsby: What it looks like he's obsessed with Marley, so he builds a shrine and he fakes up all these photos of them together. Then he tries to turn the fantasy into reality, and posing as Grady Shipp, asks her out, and she says yes. Big mistake. Fantasy and reality collide, and she dies. Lisbon: Sounds about right. Where the hell is he? Uh, where's his mom? You didn't find anything useful in the apartment? No computer, nothing? Cho: No. A lot of cats. Rigsby: Now the pictures of Marley they were all taken at different times and places. The pictures of Wesley were all taken in the same place. Nowhere we've been. Maybe that's a safe house for him. Cho: Nothing to say where it is, though. Lisbon (to Jane, who is going round in circles): Jane, you wanna take a look? See if you see anything useful? Jane: Huh? Yeah, sure. If you like. Hmm. (Jane approaches the triptych and looks at length) Yep. Lisbon: And... Jane: There's a photo of Wesley with a sign in the distance... a yellow "kc" backward on a pole. His—his shadow is pointing right to it. (Cho shows the photo in question to Rigsby) Rigsby: Yeah. It's way small back there, but I see it. Jane: Yeah, that's the logo for Kenny's Chili, Southern California fast food chain. There's about 50 or so outlets. Rigsby: You memorize trademarks? Jane: Well, with Wesley's long shadow and the golden light, that would say afternoon. And sun is in the West, so that puts Kenny's due East of this location... about a block and a half, I'd say. Rigsby: Huh. He's right. Lisbon: 50 or so outlets? Jane: Hardware store and a liquor store on the block right next to it. That should narrow it down. Rigsby: I'll get on it. Lisbon: Thank you. Jane: Oh. No. Lisbon: You should make that call. Jane: What call? Lisbon: Right. Like I'm not a Detective, too? (Jane makes a call) (The image that appears during the call is a cove on the lake) Van Pelt: Hey, Jane. It's Grace. Kristina's taking a nap. I can get her for you if you l like. Jane: I'd appreciate that, Grace. Thank you. (Van Pelt, phone in hand goes upstairs to look for Frye, Jane is on the line, he hears everything.) Van Pelt: Kristina? Kristina, it's Jane for you. Van Pelt (to the policeman posted at the door of the Frye's room): Open the door. Kristi?? Kristina? Kristina?! (Jane at the end of the call sighs, closes his eyes, understands) Van Pelt: Kristina INT. CBI office (Lisbon, Cho, Van Pelt are sitting at the conference table) Cho: How did Kristina get past the guards? Lisbon: We don't know. But she also packed a bag, she took her passport and her credit cards, so we can assume she wasn't abducted. Jane: No, no, no, no. You, you, you can't assume. Red John could've gotten in and taken her. Lisbon: Maybe. But the likelihood is she panicked and ran somewhere to hide. Jane: Yeah. Or, or, or maybe he lured her out somehow. Lisbon: We'll check the phone records. Let's start contacting her relatives and friends. She's out there somewhere. Hightower: Forgive me, Agent Lisbon, but delay that order. The search for Kristina Frye will now be conducted by the missing persons unit. Jane: What? Hightower: They're the best at what they do. They will find her if she can be found. And, Van Pelt, snap out of it. Wasn't your fault. Van Pelt: Yes, ma'am, but... Hightower: Move on. All right. Where are we on the Marley Sparrow case? Lisbon: We have a suspect at large by the name of Wesley Blankfein. He's been obsessed with both Red John and Marley Sparrow. He seems to have created an alter ego by the name of Grady Shipp. It's after a kller with Red John connections. Hightower: Any leads? Cho: Well, off photos he took, we've id'd six possible locations for what we assume is Blankfein's safe house. Lisbon: It's pretty much a long sht, but it's all we have. Hightower: Okay. All right. Go to it. Lisbon: Let's start divvying up the locations. Cho, you take Riverside county. Bring Rigsby with you. Van Pelt and I will take the San Bernardino locations. Jane, you stay here. Take a break. Jane: I don't need a break. Lisbon: I think you do. Jane: I, I, I'd rather keep active. Lisbon: You're too hyped up to be out in the field. Jane: Oh, that's nonsense. Hightower: I agree with Lisbon. Get some rest. Jane: Some rest? Oh, just... Lie down and catch up on some z's. Kick back with a good book. Rest? I'm fine. Hightower: Debatable. Do you want me to ask the psych counselor for an evaluation? (Jane is sitting in a chair, facing the couch, right leg in motion, gets up, goes to the triptych looks at it, takes a picture, Wesley, outside an empty store. A Sacramento CBI car arrives in the city of Salinger Mill, California. Jane goes down, the photo in hand) Jane (crosses in front of a car): Sorry. (stands in front of the store, across the street an abandoned hotel. Hotel del Corona, 52 North, Esperanza) Lisbon (answering phone): Leave a message. I'll call you back. Jane: Lisbon, it's Jane. Uh, I found it. It's 52 north Esperanza. Hotel Del Corona in Salinger Mill. Uh, I am gonna... Uh, I, I'm gonna wait for you at, uh, Kenny's. Okay? Give me a call when you get this message. Thank you. (Jane hangs up the phone, returns to the Hotel Del Corona. Pushes open the door and enters, walks down 2 or 3 steps. A ceiling light come on, he looks up at the ceiling and receives a blow on the right side of his skull, he collapses unconscious) (We find Jane bound on a chair. A shadow passes by) Unknown: Welcome, Detective. Wesley (we see his face): I'm Grady Shipp. So good of you to come visit me. You're a lucky man. Very lucky. Tonight... You will have the dying honor... Wesley (to someone obviously behind Jane): Can we do that again? Tonight... You will have the honor of dying (Jane tries to look behind him) as a sacrifice to the Holy master, Red John. (Wesley heats the blade of his Knfe on a lighted candle) Behold... The blood sacrament of the master. (Wesley approaches Jane) Jane: Stop. You wanna try that again? Wesley: Huh? Jane: Just t-try it again. Uh, say it like you mean it. You know, where's the passion gone? Wesley: Behold the blood sacrament of the master. Jane: Oh, n-n-no. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not buying it. Come on. Just, just stoffor a second and think, think about what you're doing here, and then we'll start again from the top, okay? Wesley: Uh... (looking behind Jane for help) Jane: It's all right, Wesley. I know what's going on. They've got your mother, don't they? Wesley: Yeah. How'd you know? Jane: They're forcing you to play a part in their sick little movie. Wesley: Yes. Jane: You're playing the part of Grady Shipp, right? Wesley: Yes. Jane: It's okay. It's okay. Dylan! Ruth! We need to talk. Dylan (approaches Jane): Thank you very much for totally ruining a freaking brilliant scene, you jerk. Ruth: Hush, Dyl. How did you know it was us? Jane: Well, you were the only people that mentioned Grady Shipp. He was your creation. And it was you that klled Marley, wasn't it, Dylan? Wesley couldn't hurt a fly. It was a truly sick individual that did that. Ruth: It was me, actually. Jane: Oh. Ruth: Dyl's much better with the camera, and Marley... Deserved what she got, pious little bitch. (to Dylan) Keep the camera running. This is all good stuff. Jane: No offense, but you wouldn't know good stuff if it smacked you in the face. This is just a corny slasher movie. Dylan: Yeah, but real, dude. Real blood. Real guts. Yours. Wesley, let's, uh, wrap this scene up now, okay? Gonna pick it up right at the end, "behold the blood, " and cetera, and then sab this sucker, okay? Wesley: I don't know. Jane: That's it. Dylan: What? Wh what are you, not—no! Okay, this—this man is dad. Okay, the only question is whether you and your mom want to live or you want to die like him, okay? That's your choice here. Jane: These people are nuttier than a fruitcake. They're gonna kll you regardless. You don't have to do this. Ruth: We are not monsters, Wesley. We're artists. We are making art. When the movie's done, of course you and your mom are free to go, with our gratitude for your help. Jane: Stay calm. Dylan: "Behold the blood." Wesley. Wesley: I'm sorry. Jane: Wesley. Wesley, Wesley, hey. Behold... (Wesley leve le couteau vers Jane qui se penche sur son coté gauche pour essayer de l'éviter) (Wesley raises the Knfe to Jane tries to avoid) Wesley: The blood sacrament... Jane: No, Wesley. No. It's okay. Wesley Wesley: (raising the Knfe over Jane): Of the master! Jane: Wesley! (shts ring out and we see Dylan and Ruth fall, the gn is aimed at Wesley, he was sh*t on the left. We see a black dressed figure, pointed hood, Jane panics, he tries to free himself. Ruth is still alive, the character approaches her, she begs) Red John: If there's one thing I can't tolerate, it's cheap imitations of my work. (Ruth beckons him, meanwhile Jane tries desperately to escape ending up tipping the chair. He lands on his right, he is afraid. Wesley saw the arrival of the character in front of him, he breathes heavily) Red John (to Jane): Do you know who I am? Jane: Yes. Red John, pushes the chair upright, puts his face, wearing a horror mask, to 4" from Jane who looks him in the eye) Red John (still 4" from Jane's face): "Tiger, tiger, burning bright... In the forests of the night, what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?" (Jane has difficulty breathing, mouth closed, Red John moves to the right, Jane breathes a little easier) (Suddenly a black-gloved hand lands on his left shoulder) Jane: Ooh! Red John: I almost forgot. Kristina, would want me to send her love. She's very fond of you, despite your differences. Roll Tide! (gives 2 pats on Jane's shoulder) (still in the room, Jane catches his breath, thinking, smiling) Two days later - the CBI offices. (Jane is sitting on his couch, thoughtful) Lisbon: You okay? Jane: Yeah, I'm fine. Lisbon: You're sure he said nothing? Nothing at all? Jane (heavy sigh): Nothing. (Lisbon leaves Jane. He has this little smile of one who has just realized something) (Jane opens the door of his room, sits down on his makeshift, a diary in his right hand) Jane: "Tiger, tiger, (stretches) "burning bright... In the forests of the night, what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?" (still smiling, he closes his eyes) (Jane lies on his bed topped by the "signature" Red John, like a recumbent figure of rebirth)	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "02x23 - Red Sky in the Morning"}	foreverdreaming
Updated: MaggieMay19 [30 May 2022] Post subject: 06x01 - The Desert Rose Original air date: September 29, 2013 ACT 1 [LISBON and JANE are in the attic room at the CBI. A video of LORELEI, looking beaten-up, is playing on LISBON’s laptop.] LORELEI (VO): "I want you to take out your list of Red John suspects and look at the names. I'll give you a moment. Okay. The names are... Bret Stiles... Gale Bertram... Raymond Haffner... Reede Smith... Bob Kirkland... Sheriff Thomas McAllister... Brett Partridge. There. I'm going to start klling again. Often. Until you catch me... or I catch you." JANE: (Sighs) [moves outside. LISBON follows] (Exhales) LISBON: How did he do that? JANE: Huh? LISBON: That tape was made two months ago. Red John knew the names on the list of suspects before you did. I mean, how is that even possible? JANE: Eh, it's a trick. LISBON: A trick how? JANE: I don't know. (LISBON’s phone rings) LISBON: Lisbon. Chief! I'll be right there. That was Bertram. We have a case. JANE: Huh? LISBON: We have a case. JANE: Now? Uh, I don't want to work right now, Lisbon. I need to think. LISBON: We need to carry on as normal. We don't want to look freaked out. JANE: I'm not freaked out. [LISBON and JANE arrive at the crime scene.] (Indistinct conversations, police radio chatter) (Shutter clicking) (Speaks indistinctly) POLICE SERGEANT: Hi, guys. LISBON: Hey, Sarge. Good to see you again. POLICE SERGEANT: Nice to see you. How are things? LISBON: It’s been pretty good. POLICE SERGEANT (to JANE): Hey there! (to LISBON) He can't say hello? LISBON: Eh, it's a tough day. So, I understand you got the call about 3 hours ago? What’ve we got? POLICE SERGEANT: The victim's name is Sandra Helvig. She lives her with her fiancé. That's Cody Benbow, the baseball player. So he comes home from practice and finds her lying right here. Looks like she's strangled with her own scarf. Probably dad for a couple of hours...(voice becomes indistinct) [We follow JANE through the house, leaving behind the body, POLICE SERGEANT and LISBON. JANE looks around a bedroom, checking in the closet and some drawers] POLICE SERGEANT: (continuing conversation with LISBON) ...back window is broken. There's both jewelry and cash missing. We're thinking that she came home and surprised a burglar. [JANE re-enters crime scene] LISBON: Well, besides the forced entry, I don't see any obvious signs of a struggle here. JANE: Hey, Cody, how much was stolen? Dollar value? BENBOW: I don't know, sir. Her engagement ring alone was 50 grand. Um... A couple hundred grand in total. JANE: What's your batting average this year? BENBOW: .260. JANE: What about last year? BENBOW: .312. JANE: Oh. What happened? (Cracks shell) BENBOW: You came here to talk about baseball? JANE: [to POLICE SERGEANT, who is staring incredulously at Jane] Yeah, I'm trying to work here, and you're staring at me like I have two heads. [to BENBOW] Do I look like I have two heads? BENBOW: Uh, no. JANE: No. LISBON: Sarge, why don't you and I go outside, do our paperwork? JANE: (Cracks shell) Cody, look at me. (Door closes) I think it was you that klled Sandra. BENBOW: Sir, you are flat-out wrong. She is the love of my life. Why would I kll her? JANE: You tell me. BENBOW: There is no reason in the world, sir. No reason. JANE: Okay, Cody. Fair enough. I know when a man is telling me the truth. Do you have any gn? BENBOW: Do I have any gn? JANE: Yeah. BENBOW: Y-yeah, yeah, I-I do. JANE: Where? What kind? A couple of hand gn or so in the safe. JANE: Show me. BENBOW: What does gn have to do with anything? I'm sorry, but she was strangled. Can you not see that? JANE: Who's in charge here, me or you? Um, I just want to see your gn. I can search this place from the roof to the basement. I can dig up the garden if I want to. BENBOW: [interrupting] O-okay, all right. Just chill. I'll show you my gn. They're in the safe. It's that way. (Safe beeps) JANE: (Clears throat) (Chewing) They loaded? BENBOW: Just the nine. JANE: Let me see. (Chewing) (Sniffing) (Releases chamber) Hmm. (Chamber clicks) Well, it doesn't look like it's been fired. (Clip clicks) [JANE hands the loaded gn to BENBOW as he continues talking] Here's the thing, Cody. Sandra wasn't coming home when she was klled, was she? She was leaving. She was just about to walk out the door when... you got home. She was leaving you. BENBOW: (Scoffs) No! We've never been happier. JANE: She packed her suitcases, left the engagement ring on the table like you were nothing. But you're Cody Benbow, for God sakes. No one can treat you like that. BENBOW: No. JANE: And you got mad, and you klled her. Then you had to unpack her suitcase, put her clothes and her makeup away. But you did it poorly, like a man putting away a woman's things. BENBOW: Are you serious? That's your proof? That—that her closet's messy? JANE: (Clicks tongue) Yeah, you're right. It's not really much, is it? It's not proof. Proof would be finding the jewelry and the cash that was taken from her. But a sensible man like you wouldn't actually throw that money away, would they? Even if they had the time. A sensible man would hide it someplace that no one would think to look. Someplace close, like the garden. You buried it in the garden, didn't you? [JANE gasps as BENBOW points the gn at JANE] BENBOW: You shut your mouth now! Shut your mouth. JANE: I will take that as a yes. [Outside] (indistinct conversations) LISBON: What? Oh, no! MAN (shouting) He's got a gn! (Indistinct clamoring as the cops seek refuge and draw their wapon – “drop it”, “get back”, “don’t be stupid”) BENBOW: Back off, or he's dad. JANE: Hey, everyone, just relax. There is no need for volence. The gn doesn't work. I put peanuts in the chamber. So just come on down and arrest him. [BENBOW unsuccessfully fires the gn, then drops it on the ground] MALE OFFICER [training his own gn on BENBOW]: Don't move! Keep your hands where we can see them! Don't move! [BENBOW pulls out another gn, fires at the MALE OFFICER and is in turn fatally sht by the other cops at the scene] (Male VO over a radio)We got an officer down! We need a medevac to this location ASAP! MALE OFFICER Secure his wapon. JANE: I'm sorry. ♪ The Mentalist 6x01 ♪ ACT 2I [LISBON and JANE are waiting in LISBON’s office. BERTRAM approaches] JANE: Here he comes. LISBON: Oh, crap. JANE: Just act naturally. Breathe. LISBON: I am breathing. BERTRAM: Have you gone mad? A-are you insane? I-it's a serious question. JANE: Are you asking her or are you asking me? 'Cause speaking for myself, the answer is no. Lisbon—sane, not sane... Mnh. LIBON: Sir, I fully recognize that I failed in my duty to oversee Jane's behavior. JANE: Oh, stop. You did nothing wrong. BERTRAM: Agent Lisbon did wrong when she failed to stop you furnishing gn to a man who used those gn to mow down a SAC P.D. officer. JANE: It was a good plan that went awry. I said "sorry." She's not responsible. BERTRAM: That's her job. Being responsible. LISBON: I am responsible. BERTRAM: SAC P.D. brass wants your blood. So the question is, should I suspend the both of you for a month or— LISBON: Sir, that is not fair. BERTRAM: Allow me to complete my thought. Should I suspend you, or should I just send you on an out-of-town case far away from the SAC P.D.? LISBON: The second option. BERTRAM: Oh? I-I thought you might prefer a suspension. It frees you up to focus on Red John. I hear you're getting close. JANE: Oh, yeah? Where'd you hear that? BERTRAM: Well, you can't keep secrets around here. There's a buzz all around the building. Jane's getting close, or thinks he is. Well, are you? JANE: Eh, we have some fresh leads. We're trying to keep them a little quiet. BERTRAM: Oh, yeah. Mum's the word. But if you do get close, you will tell me first, 'cause I need to be on the boat when you catch that fish. Do we understand each other? LISBON: Yes, sir. BERTRAM: I know that sometimes I must appear calculating, even duplicitous to you, but please understand it—it comes with the job description. I am many things to many people. LISBON: We understand. BERTRAM: In the meantime... (File thuds) Get out of town. Way out of town. [LISBON and JANE are in a CBI car, driving to SALTON SEA] LISBON: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? JANE: No. You're thinking that if Bertram is Red John, he sent us out to the middle of nowhere for a reason. To get us out of the way for when he makes his next move. I am thinking about... Trains. (Train clattering on tracks) Toot toot! LISBON: So what do we do? JANE: I don't know. LISBON: Well, we have to do something. Arrest them all, release the names publicly—something. JANE: Well, maybe that's what Red John wants us to do. LISBON: (Sighs) We could at least keep Bertram and the other seven suspects under surveillance if the rest of the team was involved, if they knew. JANE: No, no. We tell no one about the list. No one. LISBON: Well, if Red John knows about the list already— JANE: Anyone else that knows about the list will be in danger. We tell no one. I shouldn't have even told you. (Inhales and exhales) [At the crime scene: bmb Beach, Salton Sea, California] (Indistinct conversations, police radio chatter) (Flies buzzing) PARTRIDGE: Kind of beautiful and weird, huh? All the flowers. LISBON: Hey, Partridge. JANE: How long's the body been here? PARTRIDGE: About 18 months, probably. Uh... We think he was a large male, early 40s, maybe. No teeth, no fingers. Probably removed by whoever brought him here to prevent identification. But I bet if you cross-reference that frat ring— JANE: That's what she's doing. PARTRIDGE: Got you. Yeah. VAN PELT (VO): Hey, boss. Brooke Yardley. VAN PELT: He was a Los Angeles real estate developer, 46. His wife reported him missing in August of 2011. LISBON: I-I want you to run a full profile on this guy ASAP. VAN PELT: Will do. PARTRIDGE: Hello, Mr. Yardley. (Buzzing continues) Who did this to ya? Hmm? LISBON: How long until you're done with forensics and you pull this guy out of here? PARTRIDGE: Delicate job. Oh, we'll be out of here by tomorrow morning, probably. (Buzzing continues) Something wrong? JANE: Wrong? PARTRIDGE: You've been really sullen with me recently, and now you're staring at me strangely, and I don't know why. JANE: You truly don't know? PARTRIDGE: (Scoffs) No. JANE: Hmm. [JANE and LISBON are in the car while on the phone to VAN PELT] VAN PELT: Yardley was a wheeler-dealer salesman type. No criminal record, but he had his share of law and tax problems. Bankrupt twice. His car was found abandoned in Los Angeles a couple weeks after his disappearance. LISBON: Any standout enemies? VAN PELT: Not off his paper trail. Cho and Rigsby are driving to L.A. in the morning to talk to the wife and son. LISBON: All right. Jane and I need to stay out here near the crime scene till the body's dug up. We'll give you a call when we find someplace to stay. VAN PELT: Sure. LISBON: (Sighs) What's your take on Partridge? JANE: If he is Red John, he's a very good actor. LISBON: He would have to be, wouldn't he? JANE: Wait, slow down. Let's turn here. This looks interesting. [Inside the Borrego Gap Diner] (Grill sizzling) WOMAN: Thanks, hon. MAN: See you tomorrow, Sonya. SONYA: (chuckles) Hey, folks. Hey, what can I get you? JANE: Tea, please. Oolong, preferably. SONYA: Uh... JANE: Just tea, some loosely scrambled eggs on rye toast, one strip of bacon, and one sausage, thanks. SONYA: Okay. LISBON: Coffee and muffin. SONYA: Okay. Coming right up. (Tears paper) JANE: You've heard about the dad guy, I guess. SONYA: (Clicks pen) Yeah, sure. Everybody has. LISBON: We're with the CBI. We're investigating the case. JANE: Yeah. Sorry, I— I didn't mean to scare you. SONYA: Oh, no, no. I— I'm not scared. I just... I've had a bad feeling forever, like I knew there was something evil out there. I knew it. Didn't I, Hec? HECTOR: Uh-huh. SONYA: Hunh. (Grill sizzling) Come to think that I'm right? My gosh. (Pouring coffee) I mean, I always knew I had a psychic gift, but this is damn spooky. JANE: Psychic gift? Excellent. Tell me, uh, will I enjoy your eggs? SONYA: You betcha. (Giggles) JANE: We'll see. JANE [A little later, eating]: Mmm. You're right, Sonya. These are enjoyable eggs. (SONYA chuckles) JANE: Room for improvement, but very enjoyable. SONYA: Good. LISBON: What are we doing, Jane? JANE: I'm eating eggs. You're staring at a dry muffin. LISBON: We need a plan. JANE: I've been thinking about that. LISBON: In the meantime, Red John is gonna kll again. JANE: Yeah, probably. LISBON: Jane, I'm scared. JANE: He's not psychic. LISBON: Well, that's not what scares me. Well, no, that scares me, too. JANE: There's no such thing. LISBON: I'm scared because I've never seen you like this before. It's like you don't know what to do next. JANE: Next? Well, pecan pie. LISBON: Funny. Funny. I'm serious. JANE: So am I. LISBON: We need help. JANE: No. [Borrego Gap motel, after sunset] (Insects chirping, wind whistling) LISBON (Sighs) (Dials) (Sighs) VAN PELT (Cell phone buzzes): Hey, boss. LISBON: Hey, we need to talk. Are you alone? VAN PELT: Y-yeah. Well, I mean, Wayne's with me. LISBON: Call me back as soon as you're on your own. VAN PELT: Hello? Hello? Lost her. Bad signal in the desert. RIGSBY: She'll call right back. VAN PELT: Yep. (Paper in file rustles) Give me a moment, huh? RIGSBY: Sure. You okay? VAN PELT: I'm fine. (Door closes) [VAN PELT calls LISBON back from an empty room. RIGSBY has seen VAN PELT is calling someone] LISBON: You cannot tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. VAN PELT: Okay. LISBON: Jane has worked out that Red John is one of seven men. But Red John also knows the seven names on Jane's list. VAN PELT: How? LISBON: We don't know. It's like he's read Jane's mind, which has made Jane paranoid, understandably he doesn't want anyone to know about the list of names. He doesn't know I'm talking to you right now. He thinks whoever knows about the names is in danger, and he's probably right. But I have a strong feeling we need to do something, and I need your help. Do you want me to continue? VAN PELT: Yes. LISBON: Thank you. I'm gonna give you the seven names, and I need you to put a G.P.S. bug on each of their cell phones. But you need to do it secretly. Tell no one. Can you do that? VAN PELT: Yes, I can, but when are you gonna tell Jane? LISBON: When the time is right. VAN PELT Okay, I guess. Um... Let me get a pen and paper. No, I don't want you to write anything down. VAN PELT: (Takes a deep breath and exhales) [VAN PELT returns to RIGSBY in the bullpen] RIGSBY: (Sighs) Everything okay? VAN PELT: Sure, of course. I, um... spoke to Lisbon. I have work to do. RIGSBY: Work? Now? What's so urgent? VAN PELT: Oh... you know Lisbon. No sense of time. You go on home. I'll see you there. RIGSBY: What's going on, Grace? VAN PELT: Nothing. ACT 3 [CHO and RIGSBY are waiting to interview the mrder victim’s family] CHO: (Inhales and exhales) Something wrong? RIGSBY: No. CHO: (Sighs) RIGSBY: What do you mean? CHO: You're acting weird, like you're keeping something from me. RIGSBY: (Scoffs) What? No, dude. What would I be keeping from you? CHO: (Exhales) You're acting weird. RIGSBY: Weird, like how? CHO: Like you can't look me in the eye. RIGSBY: Yes, I can. You happy now? CHO: No. What's going on, Wayne? [MRS YARDLEY appears at the top of the stairs] MRS YARDLEY: Am I intruding? [RIGSBY and CHO are sitting talking with MRS YARDLEY in another room] MRS YARDLEY: Are you sure it's my husband? RIGSBY: Mrs. Yardley, we— MRS YARDLEY: Madison. RIGSBY: Madison. I'm sorry. We're dealing with a skeleton here, so we can't be sure of I.D. until D.N.A. test results are done. But we think so, yes. MRS YARDLEY: Oh, thank God. (Sighs) Mm! (Inhales sharply) Oh, don't get me wrong. I loved Brooke very much, but I've known in my heart he's been dad for some time now. He would never have run away without a word. (Breathes deeply) It's just good to finally know the truth. I've been in the most hellish limbo. CHO: Records indicate he had started divorce proceedings. MRS YARDLEY: Yes. It was a mutual decision. You can love someone very much and not be able to live with them. CHO: What was the problem? MRS YARDLEY: Oh, Brooke was a dog. Pathological womanizer. Knew it when I married him. I'm his third wife. Duh. But he was so charming and witty and handsome. CHO: He cheated on you. MRS YARDLEY: Cheating would involve deception. He never tried to deceive me. RIGSBY: Some would call that good motive for klling him. MRS YARDLEY: Well, I didn't. But I know who did kll him, if you want to know. I told the police two years ago, but they weren't interested. "No body, no crime, " they said. RIGSBY: So you know who klled him. MRS YARDLEY: A man called Arek Green. He owns nightclubs across the border. Brooke went to a meeting with Arek in Mexicali, and that was the last anyone ever saw Brooke. RIGSBY: And why would Mr. Green have reason to kll your husband? MRS YARDLEY: Arek owed Brooke something around $100,000 on a property deal and didn't want to pay. Brooke was going to sue him. That's motive, isn't it? [Door opens and a man enters] MRS YARDLEY: This is my stepson Gavin. He lives here also. These are police of some kind. They found your father's body. GAVIN: Oh. Really. Where? (Drink pouring, lid clatters) Buried in the desert. GAVIN: How squalid. mrder, was it? That's our supposition, yes. GAVIN: Well, I'd take a good, long look at this one. She's perfectly capable of mrder. Too lazy, perhaps, but she could have summoned a burst of energy. She did so despise my poor, dear father. MRS YARDLEY: You are a bitter, twisted little fantasist. We had our battles, but I loved that man. GAVIN: Oh! Dishonest crap. These are professional policemen, Madison. They can see right through you. RIGSBY: Okay. Returning to Arek Green, when was this meeting in Mexicali, exactly? MRS YARDLEY: July 10, two years ago. I apologize for my stepson. When Brooke is officially dad, his will is enforceable, and Gavin will have to leave my house. (Whispers) Finally. (Normal voice) Hence the anger. GAVIN: Oh, don't think for a second I won't dispute every inch of that will. MRS YARDLEY: Oh, I know you will. You're such a child. (Laughs) God, I can't believe I ever let you have sex with me. GAVIN: (laughing) Please. You were practically begging me. MRS YARDLEY: (Laughs) I am so sorry. I blame his mother. Now she was a piece of work. GAVIN: Don't you say a word about my mother, you conniving little slut. RIGSBY: Hey, folks— MRS YARDLEY: I will talk about who the hell I like. Your mother was a cold-hearted bitch! GAVIN: (Starts to reply, RIGSBY speaks over him, breaking up the fight) RIGSBY: Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's just take a breath. [Back at Borrego Gap Diner] (Sizzling) JANE: Low heat, then a little water keeps the eggs nice and loose. CHEF MAC: I've been cooking eggs for 20 years. JANE: Oh, so your cup's full. Can't learn any more, huh? CHEF MAC: Not about eggs. JANE: Okay. Bon appétit. [JANE serves the eggs, the CHEF MAC tries them] CHEF MAC: Damn. JANE: Mm-hmm. SONYA and HECTOR: (both laugh) LISBON: Jane. [LISBON beckons JANE over to her table] LISBON: So both Yardley's son and wife are still possible suspects. But the wife says the last time she saw Yardley, he was heading down to Mexicali to demand money out of some shady businessman— guy named Arek Green. He's got a criminal record, underworld connections, and right now, we're about a hundred miles from Mexicali. JANE: Sounds like a lead. LISBON: Yeah, I'm thinkin' we should go and talk to this guy, Arek Green. JANE: Yeah, I-I'm gonna stay here. You go. You can manage on your own, right? LISBON: Of course I can, but— JANE:Well, I-I like the quiet here. The desert helps me think. LISBON: You know what? I'll stay. Cho and Rigsby can go to Mexicali. JANE: Don't trust me alone, huh? LISBON: I never have. I'm gonna go and run some calls. JANE: Sure. [LISBON is working in her motel room.] (Cell phone vibrates) VAN PELT (VO): Boss, the wires are up. LISBON: All of them? VAN PELT: Yep. G.P.S. and audio, on all seven Red John suspects. LISBON: Good work. Okay, we watch them like hawks. We log everywhere they go, 24/7. VAN PELT: Will do. LISBON: And remember, do not— VAN PELT: I-I know. (Sighs) Tell nobody. [CHO and RIGSBY drive across the Mexican border to interview Arek Green in his nightclub] GREEN: That's a shame. Yardley was good people. CHO: Mr. Green, we're told you and Yardley were in a business dispute. GREEN: Yeah, I mean, you know... Yard loved drama. But we're old friends— ten years now— and it was nothing. RIGSBY: It seems like you were the last person to see him alive. CHO: And you owed him $100,000. GREEN: Which I gave to him. In cash. Last time I saw him, he was a happy man. Very happy. CHO: You get a receipt? GREEN: You know, it wasn't that kind of transaction. RIGSBY: Uh-huh. Go on. GREEN: Look, I pay my debts. I heard he vanished, I thought he went somewhere like Brazil or something so he didn't have to share the money with the old lady. Now you're telling me he's dad. I gotta assume the loopy bitch did it. Or that wacko son. Have you met those two? Oh, you did? So you know! [Borrego Diner. Rooster crows] JANE: So you think it's either the greedy wife, the angry son, or the shady business partner? LISBON: Mm-hmm. Looks that way. JANE: I think we should get them out here, take a look at them. LISBON: How are we gonna do that, arrest them all? JANE: Well, tell them we're gonna find out where the $100,000 cash is. They'll come. LISBON: Well, what if there was no 100 grand in cash? JANE: Well, if there wasn't, the wife and the son don't know it, and the shady business partner has to pretend there was, right? LISBON: I guess. JANE: Yeah. [Wordless scenes: VAN PELT is driving MRS YARDLEY and GAVIN; CHO and RIGSBY bring GREEN, they arrive at the Borrego Diner] LISBON: They're here. Now what? JANE: I think a simple seance should do the trick. LISBON: Seriously? JANE: Seriously. Welcome. Madison. Gavin. My name is Patrick Jane. This is Agent Lisbon. Thanks for coming all the way out here to help us. Hey, Van Pelt. VAN PELT: Hey, Jane. MRS YARDLEY: So where's the money you promised? JANE: Have a seat. Um, try the eggs. All will be revealed in very good time. I just need to have a quick word with my colleagues. [They move to the kitchen] JANE (to CHEF MAC): Could you give us a minute, please? LISBON: What? JANE: She knows about the list. LISBON: Yes, but only Grace. Nobody else. Now we can keep an eye on the suspects. JANE: You bugged their phones. LISBON: Yes. JANE: Red John will know what you've done, and he will use it against us. He will lead you wherever he wants to. LISBON: I am not naive. We'll act with that possibility in mind. But it's better to have the information available to us. It's better than doing nothing at all. JANE: No, no, no. I-I told you— tell no one! I told you! LISBON: You told me? You are not my boss. This is my case. Red John is my case. You work for me. JANE: Oh, come on, please, Lisbon, don't be childish. LISBON: Don't be arrogant! JANE: You are out of your depth. You can't— LISBON: You can't tell me what to do, because I don't think you know what you're doing yourself. I have to do what I have to do to do my job. Now I'm going back to Sacramento to keep an eye on the suspects. You can do whatever you want. Grace, you're in charge until Cho gets here. After that, he's in charge. VAN PELT:Okay, boss. JANE: Wait! [Outside](Engine starts) JANE: Hey. Hey. Lisbon. [LISBON drives away] Lisbon! ACT 4 [CHO and RIGSBY arrive, with GREEN] RIGSBY: (Sighs) Mr. Jane, Agent Van Pelt, this is Arek Green. JANE: Good. Nice to meet you, Mr. Green. Why don't you go inside the diner, take a seat? I just need to talk to my colleagues. [to VAN PELT] You told them about the list. VAN PELT: No. (Exhales) I told Rigsby. Look, AT I had to. He thought I was having an affair. RIGSBY: She was acting weird. JANE: You told Cho. RIGSBY: Well, he can't be the only member of the team that doesn't know. Come on, that's not fair. CHO: I'm not gonna tell anybody. VAN PELT: Lisbon was only doing what she thought was best. You have to make up with her. JANE: Thanks. (Sighs) [They re-enter diner] VAN PELT: So what's the plan? JANE: Well, if anyone tries to kll me, sh*t them. (Sighs) Okay, hello, everybody. My name is Patrick Jane. I'm with the CBI. We're here to solve a mrder. Uh, Sonya, will you help me? I need your psychic gifts. SONYA: Me? Oh, no, no. I don't think so. JANE: Yeah, please. Come take a good look at these three people. They all had reasons to kll Brooke Yardley. GAVIN: Are you kidding me? What reason did I have? JANE: If you're innocent, hush, please. Uh, you knew that Yardley was out there, didn't you? You heard him. He spoke to you. SONYA: I... guess, in a way. JANE: Yardley can tell us which one of these three is the guilty one, just like he told you that he was out there. SONYA: He can? MRS YARDLEY: Uh, this is very amusing, but I'm... CHO: Quiet. JANE: Thank you, Cho. He spoke to your subconscious, and we need to speak to him in that way. This will do. Uh... would you just put your hand just like that? Just... relax. Just like that. Okay. Now close your eyes. Think about Brooke Yardley. Ask him to tell us what he wants to tell us. Think deeply. Okay, and when you're ready... Let your hand fall. "L." Uh, Van Pelt, would you write these down, please? Keep thinking about Yardley. What does he want to say? And when you feel it... Do it again. (Breathes sharply) "U." And again. "K"... "E"... "12"... "27." VAN PELT: Luke 12:27? JANE: Is there anyone connected to the case named Luke? GREEN: Maybe it's the, uh, Bible verse? JANE: Luke 12:27. Wh what does that say? RIGSBY: "Consider the lilies, how they grow. They toil not...” CHO: “Neither do they spin." JANE: What does that have to do with anything? RIGSBY: I don't know. Wait a minute. "How they grow." Yardley had lilies on his grave. Well, flowers, anyway. Uh, not—not the normal kind of flowers you'd see in the desert. And grass, for that matter. That's what he's trying to tell us. How did those flowers end up there? And—and how did they get water? Well, there's only one logical explanation. The body was in a block of ice. A block of ice that was carried in a flat-bed truck that normally carries garden supplies, like flower and grass seeds. Seeds that stuck to a block of ice. GREEN: Clever. MRS YARDLEY: Yes, but... JANE: But ice melts very fast in the desert, so that block couldn't have been moved very far from where it started. What we're looking for is someplace close to the crime scene where they have a large commercial freezer. GAVIN: Like in a diner. JANE: Yes. But why would anyone at the diner want to kll Brooke Yardley? SONYA: Yeah, I... (Chuckles) Hello. JANE: Well, unless, of course, he was... Flashing all that money he had. And he was that kind of guy. You know, a showoff and a ladies' man, right? MRS YARDLEY: Yes. JANE: I bet he ht on you, Sonya. Yeah? Well, you said no, of course. Then he offered you money. And you're a good woman, but everyone has their price. Your boyfriend Hector is the jealous type. But Brooke was a big man, so probably he got Mac to help out. Then the three of you argued over what to do next. Do you let Yardley go, or do you kll him and take the money? Your biggest mistake— you let him hear you. [Flashback] SONYA: What are you doing? CHEF MAC: We have to kll him. JANE (VO): He knew he was gonna die, so he made sure his body was identifiable by swallowing his ring. HECTOR: Mac's right. We gotta kll him! SONYA: No! Mac! No! (Thud) [Present day, in diner] HECTOR: (Scoffs) This is garbage. A fantasy. You have no evidence. JANE: This from a man wearing a hat that says "landscaping and gardening supplies." HECTOR: There's plenty of other guys that work at garden supply stores. And plenty of other diners that got freezers. JANE: Yes, but this is the only one with a fancy new sign on the highway. How much did that cost you? SONYA: I-it was them! They klled him and - to try to keep me quiet - I had nothing to do with it. (Sonya gasping) JANE: Book 'em, guys. ACT 5 [JANE is driving back alone. He calls LISBON] (Phone line ringing) [Night. In LISBON’s office her cell phone vibrates] LISBON: (sighs) Not now, Jane. (Beeps) [JANE in car listens to LISBON’s voice mail message] LISBON (VO): This is Teresa Lisbon. I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the beep. (Beep) JANE: Uh, hi, Lisbon. Um... call me. Uh... I'm sorry we argued. I just, uh... I realized, um... Yeah, just—just call me. We'll chat. [LISBON’s office] (Desk phone rings) LISBON: Lisbon. WOMAN (VO): We have an anonymous tip directed to your unit. A person or persons in distress at 5570 West Huron. LISBON: At 5570 West Huron. Okay, I got it. Huh. That’s weird. Brett Partridge is there. (Dials number on desk phone) This is Agent Lisbon with the CBI. I need SAC P.D. to roll code to 5570 West Huron. Immediate assistance, 5570 West Huron. [LISBON is on her phone outside a dark ramshackle house] LISBON: Yeah, no, I understand. When do you think they're gonna be here? All right. [Ends call] Thanks for nothing. (Sighs) (door slams inside house) LISBON: Damn it. (Door creaks) [LISBON searches apparently long-abandoned house] (Cell phone vibrating) [JANE is calling LISBON again from the car] LISBON (VO): This is Teresa Lisbon. I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the beep. (Beep) JANE: Where are you? Call me. [LISBON continues search] (Indistinct noise) (Door creaks) (Wings flap, pigeons coo) (Chirping continues) [LISBON approaches another shut door but hears...] (Groaning) [LISBON turns from the door towards the sound] (Groaning and panting) LISBON: Oh! Oh, my God. Partridge? Partridge? PARTRIDGE [Bleeding, barely conscious]: T... (Gasping) T... tiger. T... tiger. [PARTRIDGE stills] [LISBON stands, sees the door is now open and is then grabbed from behind] [JANE arrives in CBI office] JANE: Uh, excuse me, have you seen Lisbon? COP: Nope. Haven't seen her. JANE: Ah, great. (Cell phone rings) Lisbon, finally. RED JOHN (VO): Sorry, Patrick. Teresa can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message? [We see a Knfe, a gloved hand wipes the blood from it] No? Well, I'll tell her you called. JANE: Wait— (Click, dial tone) (Dial tone continues) [A gloved hand paints in blood on LISBON’s still, pale face] END	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "06x01 - The Desert Rose"}	foreverdreaming
Author: bunniefuu [ 10/08/13 20:39 ] Updated by MaggieMay19 [18th June 2022] Post subject: 06x02 - Black-Winged Red Bird MAN (VO): Previously on "The Mentalist"... LISBON: Jane has worked out that Red John is one of seven men. But Red John also knows the seven names on Jane's list. I'm gonna give you the seven names, and I need you to put a G.P.S. bug on each of their cell phones. VAN PELT: The wires are up. LISBON: All of them? VAN PELT: Yep. G.P.S. and audio. LISBON: Okay. We watch them like hawks. We log everywhere they go 24/7. VAN PELT: Will do. WOMAN (VO on phone): We have an anonymous tip directed to your unit. A person or persons in distress at 5570 West Huron. LISBON (VO): Brett Partridge is there. [LISBON is searching the house at that address] (Gasps and whispers) [LISBON finds PARTRIDGE, bound and bleeding] LISBON: Oh, my God. Partridge? PARTRIDGE: Tiger... T... tiger. [LISBON is attcked from behind] [JANE is at the CBI office] (Cell phone rings) JANE: Lisbon, finally. RED JOHN (false high voice) Sorry, Patrick. Teresa can't come to the phone right now. [A gloved hand swipes blood from a Knfe and paints it onto LISBON's face] ACT 1 [MAN leaves restaurant] SERVER: Sir? Sir? Are you sure I can't call you a cab, or... TITUS STONE: No. You're gracious and kind. Domo arigato. SERVER: You're welcome. Good night. [STONE checks his phone] (phone beeps) [STONE gets into car, drives erratically while checking his watch. A police car appears behind] (Siren wails) STONE: Oh no. Oh... (Siren wails) TRAFFIC COP: (amplified voice) Pull the car over to the right. [Both cars pull over] STONE: No, no, no, no! TRAFFIC COP: Sir, are you aware you crossed a double yellow line back there? STONE: Please, officer, this is unnecessary. You should go. TRAFFIC COP: Have you been drinking? STONE: No! Not at all. [STONE checks watch and sighs heavily] TRAFFIC COP: Sir, I'm gonna need you to step out of the vehicle. STONE: Officer, I'm really sorry about this. [STONE starts car and drives away.] TRAFFIC COP: Sir— hey, hey, don't— [STONE's car accelerates away] TRAFFIC COP: Son of a— [STONE's car explodes in flames and overturns] [Outside 5570 West Huron. There are cops and an ambulance. BERTRAM arrives on the scene] BERTRAM (speaking on his phone): What? It exploded? (Indistinct chatter at crime scene) BERTRAM: Well, how long will it take to get that under control? All right, well, when the smoke clears, let me know, and I'll get a team out. [BERTRAM hangs up phone] BERTRAM: Sheridan, what happened here? SHERIDAN: We got a call about an hour ago from your, uh, Agent Lisbon. Called for immediate assistance from this address. Uniforms responded, found one male D.O.A. and Lisbon down. BERTRAM: How is she? SHERIDAN: I don't know. The E.M.T.s are with her. BERTRAM: She I.D. the body? SHERIDAN: Yeah, we got a... Brett Partridge. Worked forensics. You know him? BERTRAM: Uh, slightly. Jane, how is she? JANE: I don't know. You got any water on you? BERTRAM: What? JANE: I need some water! Anybody, you got any water? Bottle of water! Anybody! COP: Over here! JANE: Thank you. Wait, wait, wait. [JANE pours water onto a handkerchief and wipes the blood from LISBON's face] ♪ The Mentalist 6x02 ♪ Black-Winged Redbird Original Air Date on October 6, 2013 (Elevator bell dings) CBI KARL: Oh, hey, boss. Feeling better? [LISBON walks from the elevator to her office] LISBON: Much. Thanks. [TO ANOTHER CBI BACKGROUND REGULAR] Good morning. [ A bloody BERTRAM is painting a smiley face in blood on one of the interior windows to the CBI bullpen] LISBON: Sir? BERTRAM: Oh. Lisbon. I'll be with you in a minute. [LISBON enters the bullpen, where the smiley face is painted in blood on every available surface.] (Monitor beeping steadily, but faintly) [CHO, VAN PELT, RIGSBY and JANE all lie in pools of blood on the floor. FBI agent Reese SMITH is holding a Knfe, rubbing blood over his hands] (Breathing unevenly) SMITH (voice echoing and distant): Lisbon! Gimme a hand, would you? (Gasping) (Monitor beeping faster) HAFFNER [bloodstained] (voice echoing and distant): Teresa? Sorry about this. [HAFFNER lunges at LISBON who wakes with a start in a hospital bed] (Gasps) (Gasps) (Monitor beeping rapidly) JANE: Everything's okay. (Exhales) It's all right. You're safe. You're safe. LISBON: What happened? JANE: You don't remember anything? LISBON: (Exhales) Aside from Partridge, no Why? Wh-what'd he do? JANE: Nothing. Doctor says you're completely unharmed, apart from a taser burn. LISBON: What time is it? JANE: Morning, sometime. LISBON: Partridge is dad. JANE: Mm-hmm. LISBON: Red John klled him and did nothing to me. Why? JANE: He didn't do nothing. He took Partridge's blood... put it on your face, made his mark. LISBON: Okay. (Breathes deeply) Wh-what does that mean? JANE: He was just being playful, or ran out of time. Maybe something spooked him and he couldn't go through his usual routine. LISBON: You were right about the phone traces. JANE: Hmm. LISBON: Red John hooked me like a fish. JANE: Well, at least he threw you back. LISBON: I'll have Van Pelt pull them down. They're completely illegal, aside from anything else. JANE: There is that. LISBON: Wait. Well... Before Partridge died, he looked at me and he said, "tiger, tiger, " as in the poem, which is what Red John said to you, right? JANE: That's interesting. LISBON: What does it mean? JANE: I don't know. (Knock on door) DOCTOR: Hello? Uh, Mrs. Lee? Carmen Lee? LISBON: Uh, sorry. Wrong room, I guess. DOCTOR: Sorry. LISBON: (Sighs) Red John has been ahead of us this entire time. I know you say he's not psychic, but I'm not sure. JANE: Hmm? LISBON: You said yourself, when Red John klled Eileen Turner, it was like he reached inside your head and kll a happy memory. How could he do that if he's not psychic? JANE: That's a good question. (Indistinct conversations) [JANE leaves LISBON's room and makes a phone call] DR MILLER (VO): Hi. You've reached the voicemail of Dr. Sophie Miller. If this is a true psychiatric emergency, please call 9-1-1 and seek immediate assistance. Otherwise, leave a message, and I'll get back to you as quickly as I can. Thanks. (Beep) JANE: Sophie? Uh, Patrick Jane. It's been a while. Uh... Good to hear your voice. I have something I need to ask you about. Uh, could you give me a call back when you have a moment? Thank you. Hope you're well. (Snaps phone shut) [back at the CBI JANE approaches the bullpen] VAN PELT: How's the boss? JANE: Awake and cranky. CHO: Are they releasing her today? JANE: Yes, I guess. RIGSBY: Uh-oh. Look out. BERTRAM: So who's in charge until Lisbon gets back? CHO: I am, sir. BERTRAM: Well, no rest for the wicked, I'm afraid. A car exploded last night on Churchill Road. There's one victim. SAC P.D.'s already on the scene. CHO: We'll get on it. RIGSBY: Yeah, I'll, uh, go with him. VAN PELT: I'll check with the P.D. see what they dug up. BERTRAM: You, Jane? JANE: Oh, I'm, uh, busy. BERTRAM: No doubt. Well, it's good news about Lisbon, huh? Extraordinarily lucky, Red John sparing her. What was she doing there, by the way? JANE: What do you mean? BERTRAM: Well, when the call came in about the house, there was no mention of Partridge or Red John. So... why did Lisbon go there? JANE: Don't know. Following a hunch, I guess. BERTRAM: A hunch. (Chuckles) Jane, I-I understand your appetite for secrecy. I've even willing to tolerate it... within limits. But I'm telling you again. If you have Red John in your sights, I will be there. Clear? JANE: Completely. [CHO and RIGSBY are in a car] RIGSBY: I think it's Bertram. We know Red John has major juice. He has to, given what he's pulled off. Bertram's got more juice than anyone on Jane's list. CHO: No, Bret Stiles runs a worldwide cult with thousands of followers and billions of dollars in assets. RIGSBY: Okay, other than Stiles. But Bertram's on the inside. He can keep an eye on the investigation, hide his tracks. (Breathes deeply) Tell me I'm wrong. Go ahead. Bring it on. CHO: I don't think you're wrong. RIGSBY: Really? CHO: It could definitely be Bertram. There's something creepy about him. RIGSBY: There is something creepy about him, isn't there? S-so you're, uh, agreeing with me? CHO: I guess. RIGSBY: All right. (Hushed voice) Wha! The crowd goes wild because Cho agrees with me! Wha! TRAFFIC COP: I pulled the guy over a little before midnight. Typical D.U.I. Driver's giving me some lip. Then he hits the gas, and kaboom. CHO: You run the plates? TRAFFIC COP: Yeah. Guy's name was Titus Stone. I sent the I.D. to your office, but coroner already took his body. But you're not missing anything. Guy was pretty crispy. RIGSBY: Hey, Cho, look at this. Hole in the roof says bmb in the car. The edges of the hole are bent inward. CHO: So the bmb was on the outside on top of the car. RIGSBY: Yeah, but how? It doesn't look like there was a roof rack. How's it stay in place? CHO: Did you see it explode? TRAFFIC COP: No, but my dashboard camera caught it. You want to see this. Here we go. See that thing right there? What the hell is that? RIGSBY: Run that again. TRAFFIC COP: Okay. CHO: There's a light heading for the car from the front. Is that something flying there? RIGSBY: Looks like it hits the car right before it explodes. Could it be some kind of mssile? CHO: I doubt it. You know, that could be a drone. A drone? TRAFFIC COP: (Scoffs) Wow, that's crazy. CHO: Run it again. TRAFFIC COP: Sure. (Cell phone rings) RIGSBY: Excuse me. Hey, Grace. VAN PELT: Hey, good-lookin'. RIGSBY: So I didn't want to wake you when I left, but, uh, that was pretty spectacular last night. VAN PELT: Yeah, it was. Hey, I'm free tonight. RIGSBY: Sounds good. So I was thinking, uh, we should definitely discuss the, uh, new agenda with a focus on a significantly new approach to... Something. VAN PELT: Someone just walk by? RIGSBY: Yeah. What were you calling about? VAN PELT: Uh, Titus Stone. No arrests, no family in state. A cousin in Minneapolis. She's been informed. He worked for a company called Modern Aerodynamics. According to their web site, they design unmanned aerial vehicles. You know what those are? RIGSBY: Drones? VAN PELT: How'd you know? [JANE is in the CBI attic having a flashback to the last time he saw DR MILLER] DR MILLER: Patrick. JANE: Dr. Miller. (Cell phone rings) Sophie. (Cell phone rings) [Present day. JANE answers phone] JANE: What's up, Cho? CHO: Are you working this case? JANE: I'm always working the case. CHO: Rigsby's going to the victim's house, and I've got to talk to some people about drones. JANE: Mm. Drones. That's new. Count me in. CHO: All right. Bye. MAKKENA: (Sighs) Hello. I'm Kris Makkena. I'm one of the company's presidents. CHO: Agent Kimball Cho, CBI. This is Patrick Jane. MAKKENA: Hello. I'm sorry. I'm just, uh... It was a very hard morning. Um... my partner is in the conference room, if you'll come this way. JANE: So you make drones here? MAKKENA: Uh, we design them. We don't manufacture. CHO: What did Titus Stone do for you? MAKKENA: Titus had been with us since we started the company. He was our design chief. He was a genius. He was our genius. He was—he was brilliant. JANE: Mm, "genius" and "brilliant"— usually synonyms for "difficult". MAKKENA: Uh, well, he was a tad eccentric, you know, socially awkward at times, didn't always get people, but at the end of the day, we all adored him. JANE: I doubt that. WINSTON: Elliott. Elliott Winston. I run the company with Kris. Agent Cho, is it? CHO: That's right. WINSTON: Our attorney says that you think a U.A.V. klled Titus. Is that true? JANE: U.A.V... MAKKENA: An unmanned vehicle. It's a drone. JANE: Ah. CHO: We're looking into that. WINSTON: Then why are you here? CHO: What do you mean? WINSTON: Our product isn't very popular in certain quarters outside the country. JANE: Or inside the country, for that matter. WINSTON: If a U.A.V. was involved in this, it's clear— someone decided to use poor Titus as a prop in a particularly grotesque piece of political theater, which is simply— MAKKENA: Oh, Elliott— WINSTON: simply... terrorism. The F.B.I. should be here, not a... state agency. CHO: We're in contact with the F.B.I. If we find evidence of terrorism, we'll take the appropriate steps. But right now it's a homicide. Now... was Stone having problems with anyone else here? MAKKENA: Uh... nothing serious, not that we knew about. JANE: What was he working on? MAKKENA: He started a new line of product, uh, but he'd just completed work on a project called the Redbird, which we delivered to the military a few months back. JANE: The Redbird? MAKKENA: Mm-hmm. JANE: Well, that's a cool name. Is that the kind of drone that sht mssile and blows up trucks, houses, stuff? MAKKENA: Something like that. JANE: I see. Redbird. Is it red? WINSTON: No. Black. What is the point here? JANE: There is none, just that mere mention of it makes both of you tense. Why is that? MAKKENA: Our work for the Pentagon is covered by strict confidentiality agreements, so technically, admitting the Redbird exists is a violation of federal law. We could all go to jail just for having this conversation. JANE: Well, that could explain it. Could. WINSTON: Some nut out there who thinks we're wr criminals has drawn a target on our back. That's who you should be looking for. CHO: Maybe. Now where does Stone work? MAKKENA: This is Nicholas Vashum. He was Titus' research assistant. Anything else, let me know. JANE: Dude. Jane. Cho. VASHUM: Hey. JANE: What's with all the bugs? VASHUM: Oh, um, we've been working on U.A.V.s that mimic insect flight, and Titus said having images around helped. CHO: Why would you want to mimic insect flight? VASHUM: So you can make the drone really small, like the size of a mosquito. It could land on your shirt and you wouldn't even notice. JANE: Creepy. VASHUM: I guess. CHO: We hear Stone can be difficult. You have issues with him? VASHUM: No. God, no. No, no. I got him, you know? Like, what was in Titus' head was way more real to him than what was outside of it. Like... other people. Like, he started this diet a few months back, and if I brought in food— like, any food— he would throw me out of the room and say I was sabotaging him and... you know. (Inhales) You know. CHO: What did Stone do in his free time? VASHUM: Uh, he played a lot of videogames, he watched a lot of movies. JANE: Samurai movies, I'm thinking. VASHUM: Yeah, he was really into that kung fu stuff. JANE: More Kurosawa than kung fu. Was he seeing someone? VASHUM: You mean, like, a woman? Um... no. JANE: What about hookers? VASHUM: What—what makes you think he did that? JANE: Well, lonely overweight guy goes on a diet— he's trying to impress someone. VASHUM: Yeah, he didn't... mention that to me. JANE: What do you know about the Redbird? And you can speak freely, 'cause Cho and I have top level security clearance. VASHUM: Mm... nothing. I didn't work much on the Redbird. CHO: Your boss says you get thrat from people who don't like drones. That true? VASHUM: Yeah. That happens. It's scary. There's some hardcore haters out there. JANE: I'll bet. I'll be outside. CHO: If that's Stone's laptop, I'm gonna need to take it. VASHUM: Ooh, uh, I'll have to ask. It probably has some classified material on there. You guys really have top security clearance? CHO: No. [JANE makes a phone call] DR MILLER (VO): Hi. You've reached the voicemail of Dr. Sophie Miller. If this is a true psychiatric emergency, please call 9-1-1 and seek immediate assistance. Otherwise, leave a message, and I'll get back to you as quickly as I can. [JANE makes another call] JANE: Grace, I want you to stop what you're doing and look up an address for me. ACT 2 CHO [on phone from CBI office]: We ran Stone's credit cards. Jane was right. He was hiring prosttute through an escort service called Private Companion. LISBON [on phone in hospital bed]: You get any names? CHO: Yeah, a woman named Carol Mathews was with Stone the night before he died. Rigsby's bringing her in. LISBON: And what about the laptop? Any problems with security clearance? CHO: No, we told the F.B.I. we only wanted to look at his calendar and correspondence. They're cool with it. Van Pelt's on it. When are you getting out? LISBON: Soon, I hope. CHO: Good luck. LISBON: Thanks. [hangs up] HAFFNER: Man, they're letting anybody into the hospital these days. LISBON: Ray. HAFFNER: Hey, Teresa. [Flashback to LISBON's nightmare, where a bloodstained HAFFNER said...] Sorry about this. LISBON [back to present day]: What are you doing here? HAFFNER: Well, I heard that my favorite CBI agent was laid up. I thought I'd stop by. LISBON: Oh. Thanks. Nice suit. Private sector's treating you all right. HAFFNER: Yeah. I do okay. So what happened? LISBON: Oh, nothing. I— I scraped my knee. HAFFNER: (Chuckles) That's not what I hear. I hear you were this close to Red John. That's some scary stuff. You okay? LISBON: Fine. Yeah, it turns out Red John isn't so tough. You know, he barely laid a hand on me. HAFFNER: Good for you. LISBON: (Inhales) Well, th-thanks for—for coming by. But I'm fine. I'm... totally fine. HAFFNER: (Chuckles) Am I making you nervous somehow? LISBON: No. HAFFNER: (Chuckles) You sure? 'Cause you're acting like I'm making you nervous. LISBON: No! Wh-why are you here? HAFFNER: You and Jane figure you're pretty close to catching Red John, right? Have you got a bead on him, parameters? LISBON: Can't say. Sorry. Why do you care? HAFFNER: I don't care. I have clients who care. LISBON: Visualize clients. Why do they care? HAFFNER: (Breathes sharply and chuckles) You know, I figured this was how the conversation was gonna go, but... I came anyway. You know why? I like you, Teresa. I really do. And one of these days, you and me— we'll have the time. Take care of yourself. (Whistling "Jimmy Crack Corn") LISBON: I've got to get out of here. [CBI interrogation room] RIGSBY: Miss Mathews, I don't care about the prostitution charges. I'm just interested in what happened with Titus Stone. MATTHEWS: I get it. RIGSBY: You work as an escort for the... Private Companion Agency, is that right? (Clicks pen) MATTHEWS: Strictly speaking, I'm a... independent contractor. That means the company offers the service, but the terms are negotiated between the client and me. Also, they don't pay withholding or F.I.C.A. taxes. RIGSBY: Stone was paying for you to sleep with him? MATTHEWS: That is what was occurring. RIGSBY: How long had you known Stone? MATTHEWS: Like, four months? He'd call every two, three weeks. RIGSBY: And how would you describe him? MATTHEWS: Quiet, not very good at talking, really. Not until he got into the role. RIGSBY: The role? MATTHEWS: Yeah, he's into role-playing. RIGSBY: Oh. And what role did you play? MATTHEWS: He's a Samurai warrior, and I'm a village girl he just saved from bandits. He had a robe and sandals and a real Samurai sword. It's called a Katana. He would talk about the honorable way of the warrior, and then I would be grateful for about a half hour. (Inhales, stops) RIGSBY: What was it? Go on. MATTHEWS: You know, when he was talking about honor in that crazy robe, it's the only time he ever really seemed comfortable with himself. RIGSBY: You saw him the night before last, right? MATTHEWS: Mm-hmm. RIGSBY: Did he talk about any issues that he had, problems with other people in his life? MATTHEWS: No. He did seem kind of sad, though. He paid for an extra half hour. Just, you know, cuddling. [LISBON enters the CBI bullpen] LISBON: Grace. VAN PELT: Boss. They let you go? LISBON: Y-yeah. What is that? VAN PELT: A computer from Stone's office. LISBON: Anything on it? VAN PELT: No, nothing. No files, no applications. Even the operating system is gone. It's been wiped. LISBON: Well, how would you do that? VAN PELT: Run a program. But you have to run it five or six times to a get a disk this clean. Somebody really wanted to get rid of something on the drive. VAN PELT: There are fragments of data here and there. I'm trying to put them together. LISBON: Keep checking, and, um, Grace... (Lowered voice) The surveillance on the Red John suspects— I need you to take it down. VAN PELT: (Lowered voice) Really? LISBON: Right away, as soon as you can. Don't leave anything behind. VAN PELT: Sure. Okay. (Normal voice) Have you seen Jane? VAN PELT: (Normal voice) No. He called a little while ago, needed an address. LISBON: Whose address? [JANE pulls up in his car at a house] JANE: (Cell phone rings) (Sighs) Lisbon. You're wondering who Sophie Miller is? LISBON: She was your psychiatrist... (Doorbell rings) ...after your wife died. What made you think of her? JANE: Oh, I don't know. Doctors, hospitals. LISBON: You think Red John learned about Eileen Turner from her. JANE: He must have. I must have told her a lot of things I don't remember. I was on some serious medication. LISBON: Well, call me after you talk to her. JANE: Sure. LISBON: Right after. (Doorbell rings) JANE: Bye. [JANE hangs up. He picks the lock, enters her home and looks around. JANE finds a micro cassette recorder and presses play] MILLER (VO): The patient showed some treatment response at the session. Hilary continues to exhibit signs of separation anxiety disorder. Her system conti... (Clicks button) (Recorder clatters in drawer) [JANE continues searching the house. On the fridge in the kitchen is a note that reads 'dinner's in the oven' with a regular smiley face drawn at the end. JANE opens the oven to find MILLER'S decapitated head] JANE: Oh! Oh! (Breathing heavily) ACT 3 [LISBON's office, she is on the phone when VAN PELT enters] VAN PELT: Boss? Are you okay? LISBON: Jane found a dad body. It was somebody he knows. Red John klled her. VAN PELT: Why? LISBON: We think he got information from her. Jane's talking to the local P.D. (Sighs) Uh, did you get something off Stone's computer? VAN PELT: This is the other thing. I was shutting down the surveillance like you asked, and I noticed something. I wasn't looking for it. It was just there. It's really weird. It's happening right now. [JANE is talking to a detective in MILLER'S house] DETECTIVE: And when was the last time you talked to her? JANE: Uh, a-about five years ago. (Cell phone rings) Excuse me. Lisbon, I have to call you back. LISBON: (Lowered voice) Jane, I thought you should know. Three of the Red John suspects are here together right now. JANE: Who? LISBON: Bertram, Sheriff McAllister, and Reede Smith. They're talking outside Bertram's office. [The three suspects are now in a meeting inside BERTRAM's office] BERTRAM: And we'll need to track the arrests... (Door opens) JANE: Hello. BERTRAM: Uh, Jane, what you doing? This is a private meeting. JANE: How was I to know? Door was closed. Agent Smith. SMITH: Jane. JANE: Sheriff McAllister. MCALLISTER: Tom. JANE: Tom. Okay, I'll call you Tom then. BERTRAM: So what's the deal, Patrick? JANE: Well, as soon as you're done, I need to talk with you. BERTRAM: Well, we may be some time. We're discussing a joint anti-narcotics effort by the CBI, the FBI, and Napa county. SHERIFF MCALLISTER: A lot of meth in my neck of the woods. I'd like to see it cleaned up. JANE: Good luck with that. Uh, carry on discussing your effort. I'll wait. BERTRAM: So what is it that you would like to talk about, Jane? JANE: You wanted to know whenever we made progress on the Red John case. We've made progress. Red John just klled the doctor who treated me during my nervous breakdown. BERTRAM: Maybe... you and I should discuss this alone. JANE: Well, we're all law enforcement family here, right? Sophie Miller. Good woman. He chopped her head off, placed it in her kitchen oven. A gag, I suppose. MCALLISTER: Dear God. BERTRAM: So how is that progress? JANE: Red John klled Sophie Miller because I'm closing in on him. He's klled two people within days now. He's getting desperate and a little crazy, and he doesn't realize, but he's made a terrible mistake. That's progress, right? SMITH: What mistake did he make? JANE: I would tell you, but I've always gotten the feeling that this room is bugged. Wired. Good seeing you all. (Door closes) SMITH: (Whistles) MCALLISTER: Now what the hell was that all about? SMITH: Exactly how much does Jane know? BERTRAM: Well, that is the question, isn't it? SMITH: Yes, it is. And it's your job to know the answer. BERTRAM: I'm doing my best. [JANE is sitting on a park bench. Someone nearby is feeding pigeons. LISBON joins him, handing him a drink] (Pigeons cooing) JANE: Thank you. LISBON: So did you see anything that says one of them is Red John? JANE: No. [JANE is staring at the pigeons] (Cooing) LISBON: I'm sorry about Sophie. I know she helped you. Do you want to be alone? Look, I'm gonna go back to my office. You can come— JANE: No, no, wait, wait. LISBON: I'm waiting. JANE: Red John klled Sophie because she could identify him. Now he could have stolen my records without ever seeing her. He must have wanted to meet her, to talk to her. LISBON: Why? JANE: Well, I don't know why. Maybe curious about someone that was close to me. But he did. He's been planning this for a while. Probably went to see her weeks ago, or maybe even months. LISBON: Why not kll her then? And why kll her now? JANE: Her death would have tipped me off. He waited until he knew that I would try to track her down. He had to have used subterfuge to get in to see her. LISBON: Like pretend to be a patient? JANE: Probably. LISBON: Then she'd have a file on him. What good would it be? It's not like he's gonna tell her the truth. JANE: No, but Sophie had a very good eye for people. He may not have been able to hide everything from her. LISBON: We need to get that file. [LISBON and RIGSBY are in her office at the CBI] LISBON: (lowered voice) The local police will let you into Miller's house. Her appointment calendar should be in her office. You're looking for a first-time male patient that's been to see her once or twice in the past six months. RIGSBY: Got it. LISBON: Do not tell anyone what you're doing. Turn off your cell phone and the G.P.S. in your car. You don't know who's watching. RIGSBY: Okay. If you say so. [RIGSBY leaves; VAN PELT approaches LISBON (Normal voice): What's up? Did you find something on Stone's computer? VAN PELT: I'll have something soon. Cho wanted me to tell you that he went to talk to a guy named Aaron Kalinosky. Worked for Modern Aerodynamics until a few months ago. LISBON: What's the connection there? VAN PELT: Apparently he's got a lawsuit against Titus Stone. [outdoors, CHO approaches a man standing at a table containing a drone] CHO: Aaron Kalinosky? KALINOSKY: Uh, just a moment, please. Give it a run. (Whirring) Agent Cho, yes? CHO: Yes. That one of your designs? KALINOSKY: Yeah. It's, uh, self-guided. It's supposed to wend its way through the forest and return without smashing into a tree. We'll see if it pulls it off. This about Titus Stone? CHO: Yes. KALINOSKY: Poor bastard. The man was brilliant. Head and shoulders above the rest. Did a Samurai kll him? (Chuckles) Sorry. Bad taste. CHO: I understand you were suing him and Modern Aerodynamics. KALINOSKY: Oh, that. I worked with Titus, Kris, and Elliott on several projects while I was there. We were arguing over who owns one of the designs they're still developing, happens all the time. Nothing personal. CHO: Did Titus Stone feel that way? KALINOSKY: You're gonna have to ask him. CHO: Were you friends with him? KALINOSKY: (Chuckles) I don't know that he had friends. We got along. CHO: Did you talk to him recently? KALINOSKY: Um... CHO: Why don't you want to tell me? KALINOSKY: 'Cause it's confidential, and national security, and blah, blah, blah. Here. Try not to get me arrested for saying this, okay? Titus called six weeks ago. There was trouble with that system they sold to the military. The Redbird. There was an accident in Afghanistan. One of the Redbirds missed a target and ht a civilian home, and there were nine or ten deaths, big investigation. Titus was worried that there was a problem with the guidance system. He wanted me to look at the specs with him. Then... he called back a few days later. False alarm. Everything's fine. Uh... look out. (Laughs) (Drone whirring) See? No hands. [CHO, VAN PELT and LISBON are in the CBI bullpen; JANE is lying on his couch] CHO: No one will say anything official about the Redbird. I talked to a guy I served with who's at the Pentagon now. He said, off the record, there was an accident and an investigation. Apparently it cleared Modern Aerodynamics. They think the accident was caused by local weather. LISBON: I guess that's why Stone called Kalinosky off. What else do we have? VAN PELT: The techs found fragments of a drone like this in the wreckage. It's for surveillance. No wapon. But you could attach a small explsive to it. LISBON: Is that easy to do? CHO: Nah. Had to be somebody who knew what they were doing. LISBON: Co-worker? VAN PELT: With the added weight, the drone has a range of 4 or 5 miles. I checked with the other employees. No one was close enough that night to launch it. CHO: Maybe Elliott Winston was right. Some anti-drone guy did it. LISBON: Okay, you know what? Let's start over. What did Stone do that night? CHO: Well, he left his house about 6:30. Went somewhere. We don't know where. Showed up at the restaurant 8:15. Stayed until 11:50. LISBON: A 3-hour dinner by himself? That's a meal. Did you get anything from the computer? VAN PELT: Yeah, but it's just a stream of numbers. I can't make sense of it. LISBON: Well, find somebody who can. Otherwise, we're back to the drone people. JANE: Did we get the autopsy report? LISBON: You want to look at the autopsy results? JANE: Come on. Don't be so surprised. Does it say what Stone had for dinner? VAN PELT: (Clicks tongue) Um... "Contents of stomach." Fried chicken, cheeseburger, mashed potatoes, French fries, macaroni and cheese, apple pie, and ice cream. Yuck. JANE: Excellent. Let's bring everyone in tomorrow, wrap this one up. LISBON: What does that mean? JANE: Finish. Uh, move on, concern ourselves with something more important. CHO: You know who did it? JANE: Sure. Take a look for yourselves. It's right there. LISBON: Where? . ACT 4 [The following day, in a CBI interrogation room] LISBON: Thank you for coming. This shouldn't take long. MAKKENA: What is all this? Is— is that Aaron Kalinosky? What's he doing here? LISBON: Let you know in a minute. Please, sit down. JANE: I'm sure you're nervous, called to see the Coppers and all, so, uh, let me reassure you, we know neither of you klled Titus Stone. WINSTON: I think I speak for both of us when I say that's true. MAKKENA: Mm-hmm. Do you know who did it? JANE: Yes. He k*lled himself. WINSTON: He what? JANE: He was a Samurai, and he felt he'd dishonored himself, so he committed seppuku, ritual su1c1de, with his own particular sword. [Flashback to STONE with his phone: he is clicking LAUNCH on an app. A drone launches, flies to his car and explodes on the car roof] (Beeping, whirring) MAKKENA: Well, what's your evidence? JANE: His dinner. Cheeseburger, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese. Comfort food. A condemned man's last meal. WINSTON: Why would he do that? H-how had he dishonored himself? JANE: Miss Makkena, you wanna tell us? MAKKENA: Me? (Chuckles) Why? JANE: Because he told you. MAKKENA: Uh, no. JANE: Sure, he did. He came to you to confess, because he was in love with you. [Flashback to STONE visiting MAKKENA at home] STONE: Kris. I brought you this. I thought I-I won't need it anymore. Can I come in? MAKKENA: Uh, ye—sure. [Present day] MAKKENA: Okay, Titus didn't love me. JANE: Sure, he did. He had a photograph of you on his desk. He kept it there. He also hired a hooker that looked exactly like you. It wasn't hard to see. LISBON: He came because he knew there was a problem with Redbird. It's what led to those deaths, and you three covered it up. You made investigators think it was something else, but he couldn't live with that. [Flashback] STONE: People died... because we screwed up. MAKKENA: There were mistakes. We all know it. STONE: We lied! To everyone! It's not... It isn't honorable. MAKKENA: I don't even know what that means. Look, it was a moment. Okay? That's it. The point is to collect ourselves, act with grace, and move on, because if we don't, Titus, this company— it's gone. Me, too. I am done. You will have ruined me. Is that what you want to do, Titus? STONE: No. [Present day] LISBON: He told you what he was gonna do, and you didn't even try (Sighs) and talk him out of it. [Flashback] STONE: The way I feel right now, I can't live with myself. MAKKENA: I think you should do whatever brings you peace. Who knows? It could be beautiful. STONE: (Sighs) LISBON (VO): So you went to the office, and you found the su1c1de note on his computer that he told you about, and you got rid of it. [Present day] WINSTON: Kris... MAKKENA: Look, shut up, Elliott. WINSTON: Is this true? MAKKENA: Look, even if it were true— WINSTON: I had no idea about Titus, none. MAKKENA: Even if it were, you can't prove it. WINSTON: I'm gonna be sick. MAKKENA: Look, just shut up, okay? I-I-I have— I have nothing to answer for. LISBON: You're right. We can't prove anything. Not about the su1c1de. But we can prove the cover-up. MAKKENA: What do you mean? LISBON: Agent Van Pelt was able to recover documents from Stone's computer. They're just numbers to us, but according to Mr. Kalinosky, they prove that there were flaws in Redbird's design. He's out there right now about to give his statement. MAKKENA: No. Mnh-mnh. LISBON: Obstruction of justice, fraud, maybe even manslaughter. MAKKENA: That's impossible. I wiped that disk. JANE: That sounds like a confession. LISBON: It does, doesn't it? WINSTON: I'm done. MAKKENA: Wait, wait. Elliott, hang on. Look, everything's gonna be all right if we just— if we just hang together. WINSTON: Hang together? Hang— Are you insane? After what you did to Titus? MAKKENA: Just don't focus on the negative. WINSTON: Focus on this. I'm calling my lawyer and cutting a deal. You're on your own, Kris. Good luck. MAKKENA: I wiped the disk. LISBON: You're right. You did. Mr. Kalinosky said the data was just random numbers. Gibberish. JANE: Oops. CBI RON: Jane, Rigsby's on the phone. JANE: Oh. Okay. Excuse me. I'll take it in your office. LISBON: Miss Makkena, I can't arrest you today, but I will... soon. [JANE is in LISBON's office. LISBON joins him.] JANE: How many names? RIGSBY: Four. Ernest Matthewson, Mitchell Livingston Washburn, Miguel Vavario, and Jay Roth. JANE: Roth. It's from the German rot. Means "red". When did she see him? RIGSBY: Uh... About five and a half months ago. JANE: Do you have the file? RIGSBY: No. There is no file. LISBON: What do you mean? RIGSBY: Well, I searched the whole office. It's not here. I got the department secretary to check the archived files at the university. There's no file there, either. It's gone. LISBON: He took it. RIGSBY: I'm sorry, Jane. JANE: Oh, it's all right, Rigsby. Thanks for everything. We'll see you when you get back. (Clicks keypad) LISBON: Damn it! JANE: Now, now. LISBON: I thought we had something. I really did. Why aren't you more upset? JANE: Well, I kind of half-expected it. And I know something that Red John doesn't. Sophie dictated her notes. She couldn't type. Never learned. She was kind of proud of the fact. She had a service that transcribed everything for her. LISBON: Did they keep a copy? JANE: Very possibly. [In the CBI attic, with the door closed, JANE and LISBON listen to the tape of DR MILLER's dictated notes] DR MILLER (VO - recorded voice): Preliminary diagnostic session with Jay Roth. Mr. Roth came in complaining of a recent issue with severe acrophobia. JANE: Fear of heights. LISBON: I know. DR MILLER (VO - recorded voice): He's middle-aged, in good health, with no stated prior history of psychiatric issues. [flashback to BERTRAM glad-handing people] He has no living family, but many friends on whom he relies for company and emotional support. [flashback to MCALLISTER walking to his car and whistling as he drives] He's well-spoken, good posture, self-possessed. In the waiting room, he sat calmly in one place, needing no distraction. (Whistling) Though I note, he is an excellent whistler. [flashback to STYLES in the hallway at Visualize surrounded by acolytes] His self-presentation is pleasant, but there are hints in his behavior of a damaged and narcissistic personality. (Speaking inaudibly) [flashback to SMITH beating up someone wearing a prison jumpsuit in a barred room] He says he deals with conflict and adversity easily, though. I'm not convinced he's being truthful about this. [flashback of KIRKLAND piecing together photos of JANE's incident board from the CBI attic] In fact, much of what he said, though spoken convincingly, did not match what I can only call my instinctive response to his presence, though I cannot point to identifiable clinical behaviors that indicate this. [flashback to HAFFNER exercising with heavy weights] I sense something deceptive and dark in his emotional makeup. However, there is every indication that his phobia issues are real— whether acrophobia or some other phobia remains to be seen. An interesting case. I look forward to further sessions with him. (Recorder beeps)	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "06x02 - Black-Winged Red Bird"}	foreverdreaming
06x03 - Wedding In Red Edit 10/16/13 02:37 bunniefuu updated 30 June 2022 by MaggieMay19 [interior RIGSBY's apartment, early morning] [RIGSBY stirs in his sleep. Benjamin - his toddler son - is babbling. RIGSBY wakes. He sees VAN PELT playing with Benjamin] RIGSBY: Oh. Sorry he woke you. VAN PELT: Oh, it wasn't him. RIGSBY: Was I snoring again? VAN PELT: I thought it was a low-flying jet. RIGSBY: Thanks for playing with him. VAN PELT: I don't mind. I had to get up early anyway to drive home and get changed for work. RIGSBY:Yeah, he's a good kid. BENJAMIN: (Babbling) RIGSBY: You know, I'd like to stay at your place, but when I have Benjamin, it's... VAN PELT: I know. It's fine. RIGSBY: You know, you should be careful, lady. I could still make an honest woman of you yet. (Laughs) VAN PELT: Mmm. (Kisses) You actually could. RIGSBY: (Chuckles) Mmm. (Kisses Ben) VAN PELT: Did you hear about last month's policy change? RIGSBY: Oh, yeah. No more sanctions on office relationships. Yeah. Read the e-mail. (Clears throat) VAN PELT: Right. As long as there's no rank issues. RIGSBY: Right. (Sighs) So, I, uh... I couldn't date Lisbon. VAN PELT: Right. But do you want to date Lisbon? RIGSBY: No. Oo God, no. I just— (Benjamin babbling) RIGSBY: No. VAN PELT: They're even letting agents get married. RIGSBY: That's awesome. You want to shower first? VAN PELT: Oh... you go. RIGSBY: All right. [Interior CBI office] JANE: Lisbon. Good. We're going to Napa. You drive. LISBON: Homicide bulletins? JANE: Hot off the press. A John Doe in a duck pond awaits. LISBON: Well, that sounds like a case for local authorities. JANE: Bingo. LISBON: Napa. Okay, wait a minute. That's Sheriff McAllister's jurisdiction. You want to go and investigate a Red John suspect. JANE: Investigating is your thing. I'd just like to get to know him a little better. Shall we? (Sighs) [Exterior: Napa valley, at the pond beside Bella Vista chapel] (Birds chirping, ducks quacking) DEPUTY: Gardening crew found the body submerged in the pond. (Police radio chatter, camera shutter clicks) LISBON: Doesn't look like he was in the water for more than a few hours. DEPUTY: There's a contusion on the back of the skull. I'm guessing someone caught him from behind. LISBON: What was he doing behind a church in the middle of the night? Any personal belongings? DEPUTY: No wallet or cell phone. Just a money roll in his front pocket. $32 in small bills. (Ducks quacking) LISBON: Hey, Jane? Care to offer your opinion? JANE: These ducks love muffins. LISBON: Very helpful. JANE: Look at 'em go! (Police radio chatter) MCALLISTER: I see the cavalry has arrived. LISBON: Sheriff McAllister. MCALLISTER: Agent Lisbon. What, uh... What brings your crack team to our little slice of heaven? LISBON: Oh, you know, any excuse to get up to wine country. MCALLISTER: Well, we always welcome the help, but I expect I can handle this one. JANE: Well, to be honest, it was, uh, it was me that wanted to come out here. MCALLISTER: Is that a fact? JANE: Well, more of a feeling. I think there's more out here than meets the eye. MCALLISTER: How so? JANE: You don't feel it? MCALLISTER: Mm, no. JANE: What's your take? MCALLISTER: On what? JANE: Our friend. MCALLISTER: Well, let's have a look. "One five six." You suppose he's repping his code? JANE: Area code 1-5-6 is reserved for telemarketers, so I'm guessing no. MCALLISTER: Well... he's kind of a slack-looking fella. Gloomy, even for a corpse. You know, cheap clothes, no muscle tone. Uh, sedentary low-income job. JANE: Sounds right. MCALLISTER: Your turn. JANE: The tread on his shoes wrap up around the heel to prevent the heel from slipping, like those of a serious race car driver, or a delivery man that likes to pretend he races cars. Couple that with the roll of small bills found in his pant pocket... MCALLISTER: Pizza delivery man. JANE: Could be Mexican. Or ribs. MCALLISTER: Could be. But, uh... You don't detect the faint scent of oregano about him? JANE: (Sniffs) That's a leap. ♪ The Mentalist 6x03 ♪ Wedding in Red Original Air Date on October 13, 2013 [Interior of wedding chapel] (LISBON: (lowered voice) What do you think? JANE: (Lowered voice) Well, he's not as dumb as he looks. LISBON: Well, is he Red John? JANE: It's too early to say. LISBON: How do we find out? JANE: (Inhales sharply) I need to be alone with him. LISBON: Well, that would not be wise. MCALLISTER: What's cookin' in here? Spot any clues? JANE: (Normal voice) No. Well, just that hammer up there. You see it? Is that blod on the hitting side? MCALLISTER: Could be. I'll call forensics. [MCALLISTER's voice fades as he walks away, talking on the radio] Fellas? We need a little help in here... LISBON: Did you see that? He did not want to go up that ladder. Uh, didn't the psychiatrist's office say that Red John was afraid of heights? JANE: (Lowered voice) That's very astute, Lisbon. Well observed. MCALLISTER [Returning]: They'll join us when they're done outside. LISBON:(Normal voice) Yeah, I can't wait that long. Sheriff, would you mind going up the ladder for me? MCALLISTER: You want me to climb all the way up there in these pointed toe boots? Unh-unh. That's a job for sensible shoes. [enter RIGSBY] LISBON: It would be a big help. RIGSBY: I got it, boss. MCALLISTER: Thank you, son. [VAN PELT enters] VAN PELT: Hey, boss, Cho got a DMV ht on the victim's prints. His name is Larry Kincaid, 46, clean record. RIGSBY: No. Doesn't look like blood. I think it's paint. LISBON: Thanks, Rigsby. VAN PELT: Kincaid lived in Vacaville and worked as a pizza delivery driver. MCALLISTER (smugly) Hmm. JANE: What was the victim doing in Napa? VAN PELT: His boss said he was here for his niece's wedding tonight. Stacey Bonner. The rehearsal dinner was here last night. LISBON: All right, you two stay in the area and look for witnesses. We've got a wedding party to find. [Interior, Seven Graces winery. The wedding party is at a wine tasting] STACEY BONNER: Use the table to help you swirl. The table's your friend. ROBERTO SALAS: You look so sexy when you do that. STACEY: This draws oxygen into the wine to bring out the aroma. ANGEL: Who cares what it smells like? Let's drink. LISBON: Excuse me. Uh, uh, is this the Bonner-Salas wedding party? STACEY: I'm Stacey Bonner. Can I help you? LISBON: Yes, I'm Agent Teresa Lisbon with the CBI. This is Patrick Jane. We found a body behind the Bella Vista wedding chapel this morning. It's a member of your party. His name is Larry Kincaid. STACEY: Uncle Larry? Oh, no. (Stacey sighs) JANE: Well... Don't everyone cry at once. MR BONNER: My wife's brother was something of a courtesy invite. He's a nice enough guy, but... A little off, socially speaking. JANE: Okay. Uh, you're the bride's father, I take it. And, uh, where's your wife? MR BONNER: She's resting back at the hotel. She came down with a migraine last night. STACEY: Poor Uncle Larry. Mom's gonna freak out. ROBERTO: It's okay, cariño. STACEY: (Lowered voice) The wedding is ruined! SUZIE BONNER: What happened to him? LISBON: That's what we're trying to find out. SUZIE: Can I see the body? MR BONNER: Suzie, that's not very appropriate. SUZIE: This is life happening. We can't shut our eyes. JANE pours himself some wine] SUZIE: So... can I look at her? LISBON: No. Uh, who was the last person who saw the victim alive? ROBERTO: All of us. After the rehearsal dinner, we all ht up the big party tent. STACEY: The wedding pavillion. ROBERTO: The wedding pavillion. It's the big tent by the chapel. MR SALAS: We ran out of wine, and Larry offered to make an alcohol run. I'm Mr. Salas. Roberto's my son. JANE [who is sniffing his glass and tasting his wine]: Did Uncle Larry ever come back? CHARLIE: No. But we weren't surprised. It felt like he was looking for an excuse to leave the party. ANGEL: Yeah. It's like he was... (Chuckles) A ghost before he was a ghost. (Sighs) ROSE: Angel, you're such an idiot. He was her uncle. ROBERTO: I'm sorry, baby. He seemed like an okay guy. STACEY: I'm not crying about Uncle Larry. JANE [Spits the wine he tasted]: It is the wedding day. ROBERTO: Oh. Oh! Hey, we're still gonna get married, right? Right? STACEY: (Sighs) I guess. But it's all so... sordid. ROBERTO: (Exhales) Yeah. (Kisses) Mmm. (Clicks tongue) [Interior wedding pavilion] RIGSBY: Lisbon said this was the last room the victim was seen alive in. VAN PELT: Well, it's gonna be a beautiful wedding. RIGSBY: Eh, I can think of better ways to spend good money. VAN PELT: Oh, yeah? Like what? A new leather sectional? RIGSBY: No. Okay, how'd you guess? VAN PELT: (Laughs) I used to dream about having a cinderella wedding. RIGSBY: You did? You never said anything. VAN PELT: Ah. It was a long time ago. I suppose it all seems silly now. [Rattling noise from the other section of the pavilion] RIGSBY: Police. (Hissing) Who's in here? VAN PELT: Step out slowly. OSCAR: Don't sht. RIGSBY: Set it down. Hands behind your back. OSCAR: It's not what you think. RIGSBY: What's this? Laxatives in the wedding cake, huh? That's a cute move. VAN PELT: What's your name? OSCAR: Oscar Salas. VAN PELT: The groom's brother. RIGSBY: Why'd you want to ruin your brother's wedding, Oscar? OSCAR: Why not? VAN PELT: You don't like his fiancée? OSCAR: Twitter freak. Completely self-obsessed. They all are. Children who need constant feedback. Just wait until they try that cake. I am dying to read that Tweet. (Clicks tongue) RIGSBY: What about Uncle Larry? OSCAR: He seems cool. At least he doesn't follow the pack. VAN PELT: Did you know he was mrder last night after the rehearsal dinner? OSCAR: No. RIGSBY: Any idea who might want to hurt him? OSCAR: Yeah. Angel. My brother's best man. He talked trash about Larry all the time. I think he sent him text messages, too. [Interior CBI interrogation room] CHO: What was your beef with the victim? ANGEL: No beef. CHO: We heard you didn't like him. ANGEL: (Chuckles) You heard wrong. I didn't have no opinion of him. Barely knew the guy. CHO: We also heard you harassed him with text messages. ANGEL: That's not true. CHO: How about you show me those texts? ANGEL: I'm not giving you my phone. CHO: I can have a court order here in 30 minutes. Only then, I'll be looking at you as a suspect. [Slides phone across the table] CHO (reading): "Hey, Larry, any word yet from your boss? I could really use the work. Thanks, buddy." He was helping you get a pizza job? ANGEL: I need work. So what? CHO: You get the job? ANGEL: Nope. CHO: Did you leave the wedding tent at any point during the after party? ANGEL: No, I was there till the end. Ask anyone. And Larry was long gone by the time I left. [A different interrogation room] LISBON: Thank you for coming, Mrs. Bonner. Did you happen to see your brother leave the party? MRS BONNER: (Voice breaking) No, I, uh... I had a headache. I left the party early and walked back to the honeymoon suite. LISBON: Why were you in the honeymoon suite? MRS BONNER: We're paying for this wedding. LISBON: What was the victim doing at the party? [Scene changes between interrogations of the wedding party members] ROSE: The usual. Standing... watching. To be honest, I felt sorry for the man. LISBON: What was your relationship with the victim? ROBERTO: (Clicks tongue) Larry's my fiancée's uncle, so as far as I'm concerned, he's my blood. But weird blood, you know? LISBON: Do you know of anybody who may have wanted to harm the victim? STACEY: Nobody really felt strongly enough about him one way or the other. He just kinda... floated along like family flotsam. SUZIE: That was his strength, you know? The power of social invisibility. I think I could have loved him. LISBON: Did he talk to anyone at the party? MR SALAS: QYes. My son's friend Charlie from college. Did you know Roberto went to college? First in the family. CHARLIE: Well, I was pretty toasted. But I think Larry was talking about a new rfle. Said he bought it to defend himself. LISBON': rfle? Are you sure? The victim doesn't have any record of gn ownership. CHARLIE: (Sighs) I think he was just trying to fit in. You know, be one of the guys. Same reason Larry offered to go on a liquor run for us. LISBON: Did you see the victim leave the party? MRS SALAS: No hablo inglés. LISBON: Excuse me. [LISBON and JANE meet outside the interrogation room] LISBON: Somebody in that wedding party had to have seen something. JANE: Love is in the air, Lisbon. These two families are about to be married. They're not gonna turn on each other without a push. LISBON: What kind of push? [JANE gathers the entire wedding party in the CBI bullpen] JANE: If we want to learn who klled uncle Larry, then we need to clear the air. That means no more playing nice for the happy couple. We need some honesty. ROSE: Who's not being honest? JANE: Well, you, for starters. You're the groom's sister, I take it. STACEY: And my bridesmaid. JANE: Yes, that was a lovely gesture, but you put her in a very awkward position, because she resents you. ROSE: No, I don't. JANE: Yes, you do. Be honest. STACEY: Do you resent me, Rose? ROSE: You talk down to my brother! You're always correcting him. ROBERTO: That's not true. When has she ever— STACEY: Not now, Roberto. Rose, are you mad at me because I paid for your bridesmaid dress? SUZIE: You didn't pay for my dress. STACEY: (Lowered voice) You don't work in retail. ROSE: Now she's doing it to me. MRS BONNER: Stacey was an English major, chica. She just sounds superior. MRS SALAS: "Chica"? My daughter is not your housemaid. LISBON: Hey. She speaks English. JANE: Mm. MR SALAS: Can we all show some respect here, please? We're a family now. JANE: Yes, one big, happy family. Is that why you hooked up with the bride's mother at the after party? MR BONNER: Hmm? Hmm? What was that? JANE: You said that your wife had a migraine last night, which is the enablers' code for "drunk." And today, she can't look the groom's father in the eye. That's why she wasn't at the wine tasting this morning. STACEY: You made a move on my mom? ROBERTO: Why are you blaming papi? Maybe your mom's the adulterer. STACEY: Adultress. ROSE: Stop correcting him! ROBERTO: Yeah! I see it now. STACEY: Okay, shut up! This is my wedding day, and I will say and do whatever I want. And what I want... Is to cancel this wedding. (Gasping and murmuring) (Stacey sighs) SUZIE: Life. Happening. CHARLIE: Stacey, you don't mean that. You guys have been planning this for months. I flew in from Florida to be here. STACEY: You're all on your own. LISBON: (Sighs) Nice push. JANE: Ah, something good will come out of this. You'll see. Can we go back to Napa now? LISBON: Please. ACT 2 [interior CBI bullpen] RIGSBY: Groom's brother said that neither side of the family approves of the wedding, but they're both pretending like they do. CHO: Not anymore. VAN PELT: I followed up on that rfle tip. According to bank records, Uncle Larry wrote a personal check for one two weeks ago. CHO: We need contact information for the firearms dealer. VAN PELT: A private rancher sold it to him. James Harris. I have an address. CHO: The victim said he brought a rfle to protect himself. Let's find out from who. Rigsby, you're with me. VAN PELT: I'll run background checks on the invitation list. [Exterior at pond in Napa] (Quacking) MCALLISTER: I thought you were supposed to solve a crime, not, uh, destroy a wedding. JANE: Well, I'd say the kller did that. MCALLISTER: I'm prepared to marvel at your insight. Who's the kller? JANE: Still working on it. MCALLISTER: Really? I'm surprised. I'd have... I'd have thought you'd have him in cuffs by now. JANE: Oh, I hate to disappoint you. MCALLISTER (Chuckles) LISBON: Jane. Mrs. Bonner would like to have a word with you. MRS BONNER: (Sighs) (Voice breaking) You were right. Before I left the party, Mr. Salas and I shared a kiss. (Sniffles) A drunken, mistaken kiss. JANE: Hmm. Uh, where did this, uh, inebriated smooch take place? MRS BONNER: Behind the chapel. MCALLISTER: Did you see anything here by the pond? MRS BONNER: No, but we heard a splash around midnight. LISBON: Did you hear any... screams or sounds of a struggle? MRS BONNER: I should have gone to help him. LISBON: It wouldn't have mattered. It seems he was klled someplace else. The body was just dumped here. JANE: Hiding the body until after the wedding in the pond, which is not such a great hiding place, I would think. A little too public. Bella Vista. (Italian accent) Bella Vista. (Normal voice) "Beautiful view" in Italian. Where is this, uh, Bella Vista? MCALLISTER: Through the trees. (Birds chirping) JANE: Wow. Now this is a place to dump a body. Take a look. Huh? kller hauls the body to the pond. Just a little bit further, and he could have dumped it right here. LISBON: He's right. Nobody's finding anything down there. JANE: Come over here, fella. Have a look. MCALLISTER: Yeah, I'm familiar with the view. LISBON: Uh, tell us what we're looking at. MCALLISTER: Uh... (Police radio chatter) Excuse me. I'm gonna take this. LISBON (Lowered voice): Strike two. You believe me now? [CHO and RIGSBY are in a CBI vehicle] RIGSBY: Hey, Cho, you think I'm a marrying type? CHO: You proposed to your baby mama. RIGSBY: Well, yeah, but every kid deserves two parents. I was talking about Van Pelt. CHO: You knock her up, too? RIGSBY: No. CHO: So why are we talking about this? RIGSBY: Well, you clearly missed the departmental memo. They changed the policy on office relationships. Don't have to lay low anymore. CHO: Hmm. Good for you. RIGSBY: We could even get married if we wanted to. CHO: Ah. RIGSBY: That's it? "Ah"? CHO: She wants to get married and you don't want to. RIGSBY: No. Maybe. No. I don't know. What do you think I should do? CHO: You want to make it my fault? RIGSBY: Okay, you're right. It's my call. [They arrive. Cho turns off engine] HARRIS: You're on private property. RIGSBY: CBI agents. You James Harris? HARRIS: That's right. RIGSBY: You sell a rfle to a man named Larry Kincaid about two weeks ago? HARRIS: It's quite possible. I'd have to check my receipts. CHO: It's a violation of state law for you to sell firearms without a license. What are you hiding in the barn? HARRIS: My private arsenal. CHO: Open the door, please. Keep your hands where we can see them. HARRIS: If I recall, Larry bought one of these. A genuine 1840 Springfield musket. It's rigged up to fre blanks now. CHO: You're a Civil wr re-enactor. HARRIS: That's right— field commander for the Napa Valley Cumberland guard, 156th regiment. (Sighs) We got a battle next week in Fort Point. RIGSBY: That must be what the "156" meant on the victim's shirt. HARRIS: What victim? CHO: Larry was mrder last night behind the Bella Vista chapel. HARRIS: Very sorry to hear that. RIGSBY: You know of anyone who may have wanted to hurt the victim? HARRIS: Oh, God, no. No. Larry was a harmless sort. Quiet, but... A good soldier. His loss is gonna leave a real hole in our little community. [RIGSBY, playing with a sword, puts it through a drum, which rattles] HARRIS: You break it, you buy it. [Interior Bella Vista chapel] JANE: Oh, please, don't stop praying on my account. MR BONNER: Oh, I'm not praying. JANE: Texting. In church. Isn't that a sin? MR BONNER: I hope not. I make my living with my thumbs. JANE: (Exhales) I'm, uh, sorry for busting your wife. MR BONNER: It's not the first drunken kiss she's shared with a man that wasn't me. And I'm sure it won't be the last. JANE: Do you have any idea who klled her brother? I believe it was someone from the wedding party. MR BONNER: No. No, you're wrong. No one had any reason to kll Uncle Larry. It would be like... klling a llama. Why would you? JANE: They spit? MR BONNER: (Chuckles) JANE: What do you do for a living? MR BONNER: I'm a speculator. I look for undervalued assets. JANE: What kind of assets? MR BONNER: Oh, artworks, islands— anything I can buy low and sell high. Last month I found a first edition Coverdale Bible at a church auction, printed in 1535. I was gonna do a reading from it at the wedding. JANE: How much is that worth? MR BONNER: Oh, uh, half a million. JANE: Wow. For an antique Bible. Where is it now? MR BONNER: With a private security firm. They were gonna deliver it here for the wedding tonight. Might as well just sell it now. (Sniffs) [Interior CBI: VAN PELT's desk. Her telephone rings] VAN PELT: Agent Van Pelt. JANE [Calling from the chapel, with a lowered voice]: Grace, I need your help. It is imperative that our young lovers go ahead with the wedding as planned. VAN PELT: Good luck with that. You ruined a girl's wedding. JANE: Yes, and I lack the putty to spackle those emotional wounds. That's why I'm calling you. VAN PELT: I have putty? JANE: No, you have life experience. Use it to convince the bride that her "happily ever after" begins tonight. VAN PELT: (Sighs) Really? (Snaps cell phone shut) [interior CBI interrogation room] VAN PELT: (Sighs) Jane is feeling really badly for what happened in the bull pen. STACEY: He shouldn't. This was never going to work. He did me a huge favor. VAN PELT: Your families don't want the marriage. STACEY: Mom says I'm too smart for Roberto. And my dad is worried he won't be able to take care of me. And Roberto's parents just want him to marry a nice Catholic girl. VAN PELT: What do you want? STACEY: I want Roberto. But... It's too complicated. VAN PELT: So you're gonna throw it away? Look... (Sighs) (Chuckles) I had someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But... [we see RIGSBY watching through the one-way glass] staying together would have ended my career. So I let him go. STACEY: What happened? VAN PELT: Oh. (Sighs) (Chuckles) I got engaged to someone else. That ended badly. So I shut down a little inside. Closed some doors to feel safer. But... The problem is with every passing year, you close more doors. Until eventually... you wonder if anyone will ever get inside again. STACEY: That's really tragic. VAN PELT: Yeah. Well, that's why I keep the dress. STACEY: Your wedding dress? VAN PELT: (Chuckles) I know. It's crazy, right? But... It reminds me of who I was... (Clicks tongue) Naive. Maybe a little foolish, but... (Voice breaking) full of hope. I'm afraid if I destroy that dress... I'll forget what hope feels like. (Sighs) [Elsewhere in the CBI office] (Indistinct conversations) LISBON: (Lowered voice) What are we gonna do about McAllister? JANE: (Lowered voice) Well, until I get some alone time with him, I'm not gonna draw any conclusions. LISBON: Well, he's avoided heights twice. JANE: If Red John is acrophobic, why would he tell my shrink? LISBON: To gain her trust so he could steal her file— which he did right before he klled her. STACEY: Guess what? We're getting married. No hard feelings. JANE: Well, I think that's a great decision. Congratulations. You— of course, you know, we will have to attend the ceremony, just in case Uncle Larry's kller reveals himself. STACEY: Okay. ROBERTO: Uh, you should follow us. The courthouse closes— LISBON: Courthouse? What about your big Napa wedding? STACEY: It's a waste, but, I mean, what can we do? I can't find a priest. I canceled him this morning. And we only have the chapel for two more hours. So... JANE: Well, you know, it turns out that I am, in fact, a certified wedding officiant. I can marry you. STACEY:(Chuckles) Oh, my gosh. ROBERTO: You're a lifesaver. Thank you. STACEY: Thank you so much. JANE: It would be my pleasure. LISBON: Oh, you are not legally ordained. JANE: Yeah, I've never used it. But I always thought it was a handy thing to have. LISBON: I don't believe you. JANE: I swear. I could marry you off in a minute. Hey, Ron. Don't tempt me. [Exterior at the Bella Vista viewpoint] JANE [on cellphone]: Sheriff McAllister. Yeah, it's Patrick Jane. MCALLISTER (VO): What can I do for you, Patrick? JANE: Well, I'm at the chapel. We have a break in the case. How soon can you meet me here? MCALLISTER (VO and in person): Real soon. Funny thing, I, uh, saw your car in the lot, and I was just coming to find you. JANE: I didn't hear you coming. You move quietly. MCALLISTER: Well, it's an old habit. I've been a hunter most of my life. JANE: Really? What do you hunt? MCALLISTER: Anything with a face. (Chuckles) Game is game, right? You hunt? JANE: Me? No. No. Too squeamish. I— I couldn't handle all the skinning and the gutting. MCALLISTER:Yeah. Sure, yeah. Clean and quarter a kll. It takes some stomach for that. JANE: And a certain bloodlust. MCALLISTER: (Chuckles) There's a grain of truth in that. So you got a break in the duck pond kller case? JANE: Well... Less a break, but, uh, more a plan. I'm gonna reveal the kller tonight. And I need you and your people to just hang back. MCALLISTER: No problem. I truly appreciate you making my job easier for me. (Chuckles) [Interior of the chapel, which is filling with guests] (Indistinct conversations) RIGSBY: You look great. VAN PELT: Thank you, Wayne. LISBON': Jane thinks our man's gonna try to sneak out of the reception. We need to be there. I'm gonna follow him. VAN PELT: What if he's too cautious to make a move while we're here? LISBON: If he's in the reception tent for more than two hours, Jane wants you to create some sort of distraction. He thinks it'll encourage him out. VAN PELT: What kind of distraction? RIGSBY: You know what? Don't worry. I can handle this. LISBON': Great. Great. Let's split up. (Indistinct conversations continue) MR BONNER: "For this thing shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and the twain shall become one flesh." JANE: Whoa. That sounds messy... But beautiful. Thank you, Mr. Bonner. Reading from the very rare and valuable Coverdale Bible. Scripture—tick. Rings—we've, uh, we've done that. MR BONNER: Have you ever done this before? JANE: Have you? MR BONNER: Yes. I'm married. JANE: (Whispers) What's next? MR BONNER: Kissing. JANE: That's what I thought. Okay, um... If there are no objections... Nope, okay. By the power vested in me— by a mail-order ministry— I... I now pronounce you husband and wife. Roberto... You may kiss the bride. (Cheers and applause) ♪ (Organ playing Mendelssohn's "Wedding March") ♪ [JANE sighs and dabs at his eyes with a handkerchief. MR BONNER hands the Bible to ANGEL] JANE: I'll, uh... I'll guard that for you, if you'd like. ANGEL:(Chuckles) You wish. Mr. Bonner trusted me to lock this away in the priest's room for the reception, so... (Clicks tongue) Step back, son. [Interior wedding pavilion] ♪ (Dance music playing) ♪ (Indistinct conversations) LISBON (to a guest who is dancing with RIGSBY, even though he is not dancing): Excuse me? Thank you. Try the cake. RIGSBY: (Sighs) Oh, thank you. LISBON: It's been two hours, and nobody's going anywhere near the exit. We need a distraction. RIGSBY: Okay. (Sighs) How do I look? LISBON: Fine. Why? RIGSBY: Good. (Clears throat) Excuse me? Is this on? (Speaks inaudibly) Yeah. (Microphone thuds, feedback shrills) RIGSBY: (Amplified voice) Uh, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, for, uh, one second, please? I'd like to offer one more toast. I'd like to thank Stacey and Roberto for making me realize just how important it is to protect a dream. I didn't protect my dream. To be honest, I, uh, well, I didn't know how. But what can you do when you meet the right person at the wrong time? ANGEL: Do her anyway! (Laughter) RIGSBY: Well, yeah, that works... For a while. But... Eventually you say things or don't say things. You, uh, make more mistakes than you can count. And in the end, well... Things fall apart. VAN PELT: (Lowered voice) Is this your idea of a distraction? RIGSBY: (Whispers) Trust me. (Normal voice) Now if you're lucky, you might find each other again. But there's too much history and heartache to ever find your way back to that dream. At least that's what I thought. I'm hoping... I was wrong. (Guests murmuring) RIGSBY: Grace... Will you marry me? (Exhales sharply) RIGSBY: (Chuckles) Well— well, say something. This is real. (Laughter) VAN PELT: (Smiling, gasping) Yes, Wayne. Of course I'll marry you. (Cheering) (Laughing) (Chuckles) ( Glasses clink) LISBON': Target's on the move. [A man walks swiftly to the chapel, works at a locked door which clatters open) JANE: Oh, that was easy. CHARLIE: How'd you know I'd be here? JANE: You know, the big fight at the CBI, you were the only one that wanted the wedding to go ahead as planned. Ergo, you were the guilty party. CHARLIE: Guilty? I was just checking on the Bible. I didn't do anything. LISBON: You klled a man. CHARLIE: What? JANE: Oh, Charlie, stop. You're just embarrassing yourself. CHO: There's only one way you could jimmy a dad bolt— with a putty Knfe. You sawed through the bolt. LISBON:So you snuck out of the party, but... somebody caught you in the act, didn't they? [flashback] [CHARLIE is sawing at the lock] LARRY: Charlie? CHARLIE: What are you doing here, Larry? LARRY: (Chuckles) I came to swipe the priest's wine. We ran out at the party. Pretty smart, huh? Uh, what are you doing here? Is that a saw? You're gonna steal the Bible, aren't you? CHARLIE: You know how much that thing is worth? Larry, it's insured. All right? Mr. Bonner will get his money, and we'll get rich. That's right, I'll cut you in. Okay, you'll never have to deliver another pizza in your life. LARRY: I kind of like delivering pizzas. I'm going back to the party now. CHARLIE: Larry, wait! Well, you're not gonna tell them, are you? LARRY: No, I— I'm just going back. Bye. [CHARLIE seizes a heavy candlestick and hits LARRY on the head with it] [present day] JANE: I don't suppose you wanted to kll him, but, uh, if wishes were horses, and all that... LISBON: And you not being from around here, you didn't know about the cliff, so you threw the body in the pond. I suppose you took the wallet and I.D. because you wanted to make it look like a robbery. CHO: You can put down the putty Knfe now. CHARLIE: Whatever. (Clanks and clatters) I'll leave this up to my lawyers. Just... Don't make the handcuffs too tight, okay? JANE: Oh, no, no. I don't do the cuffing... CHO: Jane, move away! Charlie, put the gn down. CHARLIE: My dad died in jail. I'll take my chances on the outside, thank you. JANE: You know, if you just let me go, I'm sure they'd be happy to open the dialogue with you. LISBON: Charlie, stay calm. You don't want to go down this road. JANE: No, you don't. [CHARLIE fires his gn: LISBON dives out of his way] CHARLIE: Get away from me! You wanna live? Get me out of here. Upstairs, now! Go! [CHARLIE forces JANE through a door and up some stairs] CHO: Charlie, think about what you're doing! [CHARLIE fires his gn through the door he just closed] LISBON: What's through the door? CHO: No idea. LISBON: I'll cover it. Set up an exterior perimeter with Rigsby and Van Pelt, and call for backup. ACT 3 [Interior. The stairs lead to the belfry. There are pigeons roosting and unglazed windows lead to the chapel roof] (Thuds) CHARLIE: Keep moving. JANE: Uh, yeah, I'd— I'd love to, Charlie, but without wings— CHARLIE: On the roof. Now! We're getting out of here. (Whispers) Okay. [JANE reluctantly edges slowly along the ridge. A roof beam creaks] JANE: Whoa! Uh, you know if there's a-a way down from here? CHARLIE: We're gonna find a way down. JANE: Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Uh... MCALLISTER [appearing at the top of a ladder at the other end of the ridge]: Hey! [JANE slips. He clings to the ridge as some tiles shatter on the ground below] MCALLISTER: Drop the gn. [CHARLIE raises his gn, but MCALLISTER sh*t him; CHARLIE falls from the roof] MCALLISTER: Now he's talking directly to Jesus. [Holsters gn] JANE: (Voice shaking) Where— where did you come from? [MCALLISTER climbs to the top of the ladder, walks confidently along the ridge. He clearly has no fear of heights] MCALLISTER: The church keeps an extension ladder for tree trimming. Don't look down. Bad place for the spins. Give me your hand. [He pulls JANE to the ridge. JANE crawls back to the belfry, MCALLISTER walks behind him] MCALLISTER: Let's go. Good thing I ignored your request to stay away, huh? Guess I just felt obliged to keep an eye on you. JANE: Yeah. Why? MCALLISTER: Truth is, I didn't trust ya. The way you forced your way onto the case here— it almost seemed like you had a hidden agenda. JANE: Ah, well, sometimes I give out mixed messages. It's one of my many failings. [LISBON enters via the stairs] LISBON: It looks like everybody's okay? JANE: Sure. He saved my life out there on the roof. MCALLISTER: My pleasure. I'm at your disposal anytime. I'll see you two downstairs. [MCALLISTER disturbs a roosting pigeon as he approaches the stairs. Bird wings flap, alarming him] MCALLISTER: Hey, get it out! Get it out! (Bird squawks) MCALLISTER: I didn't see that coming. I hate those things. (Birds cooing) LISBON: (Sighs) You're not hurt? JANE: Oh, I'm fine, Lisbon. LISBON: Ha. Well, you missed all the action, you know. JANE: Oh, I did? Mm. Did you not see me out there on the roof? That was some action. LISBON: This is different. It looks like we're going to be spending a little bit more time in Napa than we expected. JANE: Really? [Interior of VAN PELT'S room. She wordlessly pulls a large, flat box from under her bed: it contains her wedding dress. She unwraps it, smiling] [Interior: a (courthouse?) office in Napa. VAN PELT is wearing her wedding dress, RIGSBY is in a suit, LISBON and CHO are present] OFFICIANT: Join hands and face each other, please. Grace, you'll begin. Repeat after me. I, Grace... VAN PELT: I, Grace... OFFICIANT: Take you, Wayne... VAN PELT: Take you, Wayne... To be my husband. To have and to hold from this day forward... (Sighs) For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish... Until death do us part. OFFICIANT: You seem to have that down. VAN PELT: (Chuckles) This has been a long time coming. OFFICIANT: And now you, Wayne. RIGSBY: Uh, everything she just said. (Chuckles) Grace... No more wasted time. I want to spend every day with you. Every day for the rest of our lives and... whatever comes after. OFFICIANT: Love freely given has no beginning or end. Your rings represent your unending love for each other. May I have the ring for Grace, please? RIGSBY: Thanks. (Chuckles) OFFICIANT: Place that ring on Grace's finger and repeat after me. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. RIGSBY: Grace, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. OFFICIANT: With this ring, I marry you. RIGSBY: With this ring... I marry you. OFFICIANT: May we have the ring for Wayne please, I think you know what to do. VAN PELT: (Chuckles) Yeah. Wayne, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. With this ring, I marry you. [The camera pans and behind the OFFICIANT we now see that the office door is ajar and JANE is also watching the wedding through the small gap. He is smiling and weeping] OFFICIANT: In as much as the two of you have made known your mutual desire and your consent to be married, by virtue of the authority invested in me, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. (Chuckles) You may kiss the bride. [VAN PELT and RIGSBY kiss. In the background, unnoticed, JANE quietly closes the door and walks away. RIGSBY: I'm sorry it's not the fairy tale you dreamed of. VAN PELT: (Exhales) I'll take the real thing any day. [They continue to kiss] CHO [Checks his wristwatch and speaks quietly, as though reluctantly interrupting]: Hey, guys... Your ride to the hotel is ready. RIGSBY: We have a ride? [To VAN PELT] We have a ride. [Exterior of courthouse. A horse-drawn carriage awaits, driven by a man in a Civil wr army uniform. Lined up are other Civil wr reenacters, in uniform. James Harris commands] HARRIS: Twenry-one gn salute, Formation! [HARRIS draws his sword] HARRIS: Ready! [Seven armed reenacters ready their gn] HARRIS: Aim! [The gn are pointed upwards] HARRIS: fre! [gn fired] RIGSBY: I think that's our cue. HARRIS: Ready! [gn readied] HARRIS: Aim! [gn aimed] HARRIS: fre! [gn fired] HARRIS: Ready! [gn readied] HARRIS: Aim! [gn aimed] HARRIS: fre! [g*n fired] [VAN PELT and RIGSBY climb into the horse-drawn carriage and kiss as it sets off. We see that a 'Just Married' sign has been attached to the rear of the carriage, and also empty drinks cans, which rattle behind them as they go. CHO smiles as they depart.]	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "06x03 - Wedding In Red"}	foreverdreaming
06x04 - Red Listed Author: bunniefuu [ 10/22/13 00:23 ] Updated: MaggieMay19 [14th July 2022] VO: Previously on "The Mentalist"... [Excerpts from previous episodes] JANE: Who's that? KIRKLAND: Bob Kirkland, Homeland Security. JANE: Do I know you? KIRKLAND: No, but I know you. KIRKLAND: Get me everything. KIRKLAND: Jane made a lot of Red John connections here. This is good. LISBON: Why is this a Homeland Security issue? KIRKLAND: It's complicated. ACT 1 [Exterior. A crime scene is taped off. LISBON and JANE approach the tape] LISBON: Agent Lisbon, Jane, CBI. FBI AGENT: Sorry. FBI personnel only. JANE: Uh, we don't want to be here, either, but we were invited. LISBON: Uh, could you tell Agent Reede Smith that we're here as requested? LISBON: What do you think Smith wants? JANE: I don't know. What do you think? LISBON: Every time we go to see one of these Red John suspects, I get edgy. JANE: Really? Can't tell. LISBON: Really? Oh. SMITH: Jane, Lisbon. Thanks for coming. JANE: Miss this? Who could say no? LISBON: How can we be of help, Agent Smith? SMITH: We caught a body. I thought it might interest you. JANE: And why would you say that? SMITH: You tell me. JANE: [Inhales sharply. The face is badly disfigured but JANE sees distinctive cufflinks] This is Benjamin Marx. SMITH: The guy you buried alive. JANE: Excuse me. The kller I buried alive. And I did let him out— eventually. SMITH: Not bad. That's a tough I.D., considering most of his face is burnt off. What do you think happened to him? JANE: You're the FBI. I-I'm sure you have the answers already. SMITH: Okay. Tell me what I've come up with. JANE: Well, the first thing you'd notice is that he was tortured— with fre and whatever it is people use to cut someone's thumbs off. SMITH: And what do I think he was tortured for? JANE: Well, your guess would be sadistic pleasure, but you'd be wrong. More likely he was tortured for information— information that he didn't have. SMITH: How do you know he didn't have it? JANE: Because if he had it, the kller would only have had to burn off half his face. SMITH: What else do I think? JANE: Well, whoever did the torturing took their time, so you would reason that they had somewhere private to do it. SMITH: Right. JANE: And I'm sure you saw the, uh, sticky stuff on the leg of the victim, probably sent it off to the lab. (Sniffs) And in three days they'll tell you that it's pine sap, which makes sense, because there's a broken pine needle wedged into the sole of his shoe. SMITH: Yeah, I see. JANE: Eventually you'd come to the conclusion that he was kept in the woods someplace before he was klled and dumped here. SMITH: Nice. LISBON: Uh, why are we here, Agent Smith? SMITH: Marx was out on bail while he stood trial. Things were looking good for him, too. I mean, you tortured him into a confession, so a little good lawyering, a little luck, and he could walk. Bet that really chapped your hide, huh, Jane? JANE: Not at all. LISBON: That's the best theory the FBI can come up with? That Jane klled Benjamin Marx and brned his face off? SMITH: We're exploring every angle. He's an angle. JANE: Listen. If I wanted to kll Benjamin Marx, I would have done it the first time. He was a sociopath that stole from widows and orphans, and he got what he deserved. But I didn't do it. SMITH: We'll see. JANE: Yes, we will. SMITH: Thanks for coming. [JANE and LISBON walk back to their car.] LISBON: What's going on, Jane? JANE: Nothing. LISBON: Tell me. JANE: I said it's nothing. LISBON: It's never nothing with you. Do you think Smith is Red John? JANE: Possibly. LISBON: Well, if he isn't Red John, he's an idiot for thinking you could have anything to do with Marx's death. JANE: He's not completely wrong. I mean, I-I didn't kll Benjamin Marx, but I might have gotten him klled. ♪ The Mentalist 6x04 ♪ Red Listed Original Air Date on October 20, 2013 LISBON: Okay, no more secrets. Spill it now. JANE: I was concerned with security when I was working my list of Red John suspects. LISBON: Obsessively secretive. JANE: Yeah, well, you say "tomato" but I knew there were people that needed that information. So I planted what you would call misinformation on my crime board. LISBON: So whoever saw your crime board got the list of the seven Red John suspects. JANE: But they would be the wrong suspects.Exactly. And it worked. Someone broke into my office. LISBON: How do you know? JANE: Well, I set a trap, and it was sprung. Now this person has a fake list of Red John suspects, and Benjamin Marx was on that list. LISBON: So somebody is torturing and klling the people on your fake list. JANE: Whoa, whoa. N-not necessarily. Someone tortured and klled one person from my list. But theoretically, his death could be about anything. He wasn't a nice man. [Interior: the CBI office, walking towards JANE's locked-up attic room] LISBON: I am trying to wrap my mind around this. You put the lives of seven innocent people in danger. JANE: No. None of them are innocent. Marx defrauded hundreds of people... Then he brutally mrder someone to cover it up. I assure you, Lisbon... [JANE opens the sliding door then locks it behind them after they enter the attic] All of these men are very bad. They just don't happen to be Red John. (Lock clicks) LISBON: Do you think the real Red John could have broken in here and klled Marx? JANE: Well, Red John is the only person besides us that knows the real list of suspects, so he is the only person that has no motive to do this. LISBON: Then who broke in here? JANE: I don't know. Someone with easy access, a lot of resources and power. LISBON: The FBI. They've been wanting to get their hands on the Red John case for a while. They were not happy when Homeland Security took over. JANE: True. You know, I've always suspected the FBI are watching me. Personally. LISBON: As paranoid as it sounds, it would explain how they got the Marx case. But why would they do this to him? And how do we proceed? I can't just go to the FBI and ask them if they klled Marx. JANE: If the FBI has been watching me, I'll bet that someone very high up in the CBI authorized it, or at least went along with it. I need to talk to them. LISBON: Bertram. But you obviously can't ask him. JANE: Madeleine Hightower then. LISBON: Hightower? She hasn't run the CBI in three years. What kind of information do you think she still has access to? And if so, why would she share it with you? JANE: Well, Red John tried to kll her. She's gonna want to help me. LISBON: Unless she blames you. JANE: Eh. I'm gonna call her. LISBON: Fine. JANE: Oh. What do you have planned for the day? You don't officially have a case, do you? You can relax. Get a massage, mani/pedi. LISBON: No. I have to go and offer protection to the six people on your list, which you are going to give me. JANE: I was hoping you'd opt for the massage. [Interior: RIGSBY and VAN PELT's home. VAN PELT is in bed, RIGSBY closes the bedroom door behind him ] RIGSBY: Oh, I can't believe it. Finally got him back to sleep. VAN PELT: Good job, Mr. Rigsby. And we don't have to leave for work for another hour. What are we gonna do to pass the time? RIGSBY: Well, I don't know, Mrs. Rigsby. [They barely start kissing when VAN PELT's phone starts buzzing] RIGSBY: Oh... don't. VAN PELT Oh... [Checks phone and declines call] It's Lisbon. RIGSBY: She can wait 10 minutes. Mmm. [They resume kissing and RIGSBY's phone now starts buzzing. Both groan. RIGSBY checks who is calling] RIGSBY: Lisbon. VAN PELT: It must be important. You should get it. RIGSBY [Answers phone]: Morning, boss. [Interior: the CBI bullpen. Images of the fake suspects are pinned to a board.] LISBON: You and Rigsby take these four. I'll take Haibach and Lee. VAN PELT: Isn't Haibach the guy from the Panzer case with all the photos of the little girls? LISBON: Yeah. I've dealt with him once before, so maybe he'll be more likely to come with me. CHO: rpe charges, drug charges, human trffick charges. RIGSBY: Really? We're gonna help these guys? LISBON: That's the job. We don't get to pick and choose. We need to warn these men that their lives are in danger and offer them protection. Now get on it. [Exterior: we see RIGSBY and CHO approach the gate of a house from across a swimming pool.] RIGSBY: And I was watching her brush her teeth this morning, and she does the full two minutes, just like the dentist says. The wrong person, that could be really annoying, but today I just thought, cool. I'm gonna be spending the rest of my life with those really good teeth, you know? CHO: Nope. RIGSBY: M-my point is, marriage is even better than I thought. Except... W-well... It's not a big deal. It's only been three days. It's sort of funny, really. W-we haven't done it yet. As a married couple. CHO: What about at the hotel? After the wedding. I got you that carriage. RIGSBY: Yeah, we passed out. It was a very emotionally draining day. Plus we drank too much. CHO: Right. RIGSBY: Then we had to work the next day. And since then, Sara's at a conference in L.A., so we've had Ben every day, morning and night. CHO: You know, I read a study on the Internet. It said women lose interest in sex almost immediately after marriage. It's Darwinian. RIGSBY: Nah, not Grace. She's always been super into... M-my point is, I don't believe it. It's not true. CHO: I'm just telling you what the Internet said. CHO: Rick Dort? CBI. Open up. RIGSBY: Anyone can say anything on the Internet. Doesn't mean it's true. DORT [Opens door]: Yeah? RIGSBY: Mr. Dort? Agents Rigsby and Cho from the CBI. We want to talk to you about— [DORT, who is bigger and heavier than RIGSBY, pushes first CHO then RIGSBY away, pushes and runs down the stairs towards the pool. RIGSBY leaps over the handrail and both fall into the pool. CHO draws his gn, walks around the pool, aiming at DORT] CHO: Hands in the air, or I'll sht you in the head. DORT: Hey, man, don't sht. RIGSBY [indistinct - he is still in the pool]: We have reason to believe your life's in danger. We came to offer police protection. DORT: What? Your life is in danger. DORT: It is? You're not here about the meth... other thing? CHO: The meh... other thing? DORT: There is no other thing. Slip of the tongue. CHO: Get out of the pool. [Interior: the CBI office kitchen] JANE: Hey, Grace. You look a little piqued. VAN PELT: I found out why you haven't been able to get in touch with Hightower. JANE: What is it? Tell me. VAN PELT: I spoke to her aunt, and she said Hightower and the kids had an accident. They're dad. JANE: What? When? VAN PELT: Two weeks ago on vacation in Mexico. They drowned. JANE: How come we didn't hear about it sooner? VAN PELT: It's very strange. Apparently, they never found the bodies, and authorities have called off the search and rescue. JANE: Hmm. Wh-what did you say her aunt's name was? VAN PELT: Ruby. Ruby Hightower. JANE: Yeah, well, I-I'm gonna need an address. I need to send her some flowers. That's terrible. [Exterior: at this morning's crime scene. SMITH is on his phone] KIRKLAND (VO): This is Bob Kirkland. SMITH: Kirkland. This is Agent Reede Smith, FBI. KIRKLAND [We see KIRKLAND in some woods walking from a dilapidated building towards his car]: What can I do for you, Smith? SMITH: I think it's what I can do for you. My superiors asked that I fill you in on a case I'm working. It involves Patrick Jane. KIRKLAND: I'm listening. SMITH: It's a mrder/kidnapping thing. Vic's a guy named Benjamin Marx. Jane dealt with him before. Used some... shall we say, over-the-top techniques to get Marx to confess? KIRKLAND: That sounds about right. SMITH: Marx was on trial, could have gone free. Frankly, I like Jane for it. He's got a vigilante beef with Red John. Maybe this is his thing. KIRKLAND: I think you might be on to something. Nice work. SMITH: Thanks. KIRKLAND: And, Smith? Keep me in the loop. SMITH: Yes, sir. [Exterior: JANE, holding some flowers, approaches a suburban house and rings the doorbell] RUBY: Yes? JANE: Mrs. Hightower? I'm so sorry for your loss. I used to work with your niece Madeleine, and, uh, well, I was hoping that maybe we could talk. These are for you. RUBY: Oh, please come in. Thank you. They're very nice. [Interior: RUBY's sitting room. JANE has a cup of tea on the coffee table in front of him] JANE: When was the last time you saw your niece? RUBY: A few weeks ago, right before they went on vacation. They made a point to come and see me. At least I got a chance to say good-bye. JANE: Yeah, well, there— there's that. (Inhales and exhales sharply) RUBY: What is it? JANE: Oh, it's just, uh... (Inhales and exhales) I just wish that there was some way I could... (Sighs) Let her know how I feel. RUBY: There is. My neighbor is very good with the computer. He set up a private memorial site on the Internet just for friends and family. JANE: I'd love to see that. [In another room, RUBY sits at her computer] RUBY: Okay, here you go. JANE: Oh, d-do you mind? I'm not very good with computers. RUBY: Sure. Just say what you need to say. JANE: Write this. In death... you have found new life... And I want to shout it from the mountaintops. (Continues typing) (Voice breaking) I know in my heart, dearest Madeleine... That when sunset comes, I will find you waiting for me... (Typing continues) in the heavenly gardens. Love, Patrick. RUBY: (Sighs) Oh... that was, um... that's lovely. (Hits key) Very poetical. JANE: Thank you. Feels a lot better. I should—I should go. RUBY: Oh, you poor lamb. You were a little sweet on her, weren't you? [Exterior: LISBON drives up and parks, caption reads Richard HAIBACH's house, Sacramento, California. Inside, a music box plays while HAIBACH fusses around a little girl's empty bedroom.] (Knock on door) [When HAIBACH leaves the bedroom, we see the door is concealed behind a hinged two-foot-thick false panel, which muffles all sounds coming from the room. There are more knocks on the house door. HAIBACH finally opens it] HAIBACH: No. I remember you. Talk to my lawyer. LISBON: Mr. Haibach. (Sighs) It's not what you think. Just hear me out. HAIBACH: I think you've wanted to pin something on me for a long time. I won't be your patsy, Ms. Lisbon. LISBON: It's Agent Lisbon. And we have reason to believe that your life is in danger. I am here to offer you police protection. HAIBACH: So if I go with you, nothing bad will happen to me? Sounds like police state trickery, Agent Lisbon. The Stasi would be proud. LISBON: I am legally and morally bound to inform you that— HAIBACH: Please don't try to stake out the moral high ground here. If you had your way, I'd be in jail for a crime I didn't commit. I think I'll take my chances. LISBON [Returning to her car, on phone]: How's it going, Jane? JANE [Also on phone. Both are getting into their respective cars]: I just visited with Hightower's aunt. LISBON: That's so sad. Did you find anything out? I mean, do you think Red John had anything to do with it. JANE: I don't think so. Not his M.O. LISBON: So you think it's just an accident? JANE: Looks like it. How's the roundup going? LISBON: Haibach wouldn't come with me. I think he's hiding something. JANE: Well, a guy like that probably takes issue with lady police. Ladies in general. LISBON: Uh, you're right. You know what? I'll send Cho and Rigsby. JANE: Or not. Would the world really miss him if something happened? LISBON: And that's the difference between you and me. And good-bye. [Exterior: the window of a house. When there is another knock on the door we see an annoyed HAIBACH look out, then answer his front door] HAIBACH: If you are from CBI, I'm— [An unseen assailant with gloved hands uses a tazer on HAIBACH. He falls, hitting his head on a piece of furniture.The gloved hands drag him away, leaving a spilled beer bottle and a bloody drag trail across the floor] ACT 2 [Exterior: a car drives up to HAIBACH's house. LISBON and JANE get out, meeting CHO on HAIBACH's porch ] LISBON: What happened? CHO: We found the door open, blod and beer bottle on the floor. No Haibach. Rigsby's canvassing the neighbors. LISBON: This is bad. JANE: Not really. Confirms the theory that someone is going through my list trying to find Red John. LISBON: Haibach has been abducted, and he's probably gonna be tortured to death. JANE: Yeah, he's in for a rough night. LISBON: And we have to tell Smith and the FBI. That he's been taken and that it's connected to the Marx case. JANE: No, we don't. LISBON: We can't lie. JANE: We do it all the time. LISBON: He's gonna put it together eventually, and it'll be worse. JANE: Okay, fine. Tell him. But do not mention the list. Just tell him that someone else connected to an old case of ours has gone missing. LISBON: Agreed. What do we do now? JANE: I will have the answer for that very soon. [Exterior: KIRKLAND is sitting on a park bench. SMITH approaches and joins him] KIRKLAND: I have black, milk... and milk and sugar. I'll take whatever you don't want. SMITH: You always this thorough? KIRKLAND: I like to cover all my bases. SMITH: (Chuckles) Milk and sugar. Thanks. KIRKLAND: So you said you got something for me? SMITH: (Clears throat) There's been an interesting development in that case I was telling you about. Looks like another man's gone missing that's connected with Jane. A, uh, Richard Haibach. KIRKLAND: That is interesting. Thank you. SMITH: Look, it's none of my business, but, uh... Can I ask what the deal is with you and Jane? KIRKLAND: Long story. SMITH: Whatever. I'm not looking to pry. KIRKLAND: I like that. I've done some research on you. SMITH: On me? KIRKLAND: Yeah. You're a good agent. Real straight shter. SMITH: Why would you research me? KIRKLAND: I have some other business I want to discuss with you. Delicate business. SMITH: Okay. sht. KIRKLAND: Tiger tiger. SMITH: Huh? KIRKLAND: Tiger tiger. SMITH: What, are you messing with me? What—what is that? "Tiger tiger"? KIRKLAND: You really don't know? SMITH: Know what? KIRKLAND: Nothing. That's a test. SMITH: Okay. I'm totally in the dark here. You want to fill me in? (Exhales) KIRKLAND: While investigating Red John, Homeland Security's gn to suspect the existence of a powerful secret organization within California law enforcement. Police, CBI, D.O.J. Strictly high-level, we think. SMITH: What do they do? KIRKLAND: They do dirt. They protect each other with major cover-ups, get away with mrder. SMITH: What's the tiger thing? KIRKLAND: We think that's the password. SMITH: Spooky. Is Red John a member? KIRKLAND: It's too soon to tell. SMITH: What about Jane? KIRKLAND: We're just starting to put this thing together. We're looking for partners within the FBI. Lower level guys that... we're sure we can trust. SMITH: That's me. Happy to help. KIRKLAND: Thank you. I'll be in touch. SMITH: Thanks for the coffee. [Night. At the Heavenly Gardens Chinese restaurant, JANE is alone at a table drinking tea.] HIGHTOWER: Hello, Patrick. JANE: Madeleine. Thank you for coming. Tea? HIGHTOWER: Yes, please. Just so we're clear, I have a gn pointed under the table. And it's pointed at something important. JANE: Fair enough. How are the kids? HIGHTOWER: They're safe. That's all you need to know. JANE: Your aunt is a delight. Wonderful actress. HIGHTOWER: I had to do what was best for me and my kids. I knew that Red John was cleaning house after Lorelei Martins was klled. I did not want to be next. JANE: No, I got it. He's already tried to kll you once. It's not something you ever really get over. HIGHTOWER: So what's so damn important you had to bring me out of hiding? JANE: I'm getting close to catching Red John, and I need your help. HIGHTOWER: Unh-unh. I'm not putting my family in danger to help you. Besides, I've been out of law enforcement for three years. How can I help you? I don't know anything. JANE: Really? Because I think you've been holding something back for a very long time. Yeah, there it is. I'm right. The FBI— they've been watching me, haven't they? Please, I wouldn't be here if it weren't important. Tell me. HIGHTOWER: Well, I guess there's no reason not to tell you now. But obviously you did not hear this from me. When Minnelli was chief of the CBI, he struck a deal with FBI Director Schultz. JANE: What did Schultz want? HIGHTOWER: She wanted reports. On you. Minnelli provided them. When Minnelli retired, that became a part of my job. But the intel wasn't exactly going to the FBI. I found out that Schultz was passing it on to Homeland Security. JANE: Bob Kirkland? HIGHTOWER: Yes. JANE: Why? HIGHTOWER: He thought you were Red John. JANE: Of course. How long have Homeland Security been watching me? HIGHTOWER: Eight, nine years. I did what I thought was best at the time. Don't expect me to apologize. JANE: No, no, I-I won't. HIGHTOWER: Jane. You cannot tell anyone you saw me. Even Lisbon. JANE: And I won't. I meant what I said. I'm gonna kll Red John, and you're gonna get your life back. HIGHTOWER: I hope so. So what's next? JANE: Well, I'm gonna go see Bob Kirkland. [Interior: a corrugated iron barn. We see HAIBACH is tied up to a chair.] KIRKLAND: What I'm looking for is an open and honest dialogue. 100% transparency. HAIBACH: (Breathing nervously) I don't know what you want from me. I didn't do anything wrong. KIRKLAND: Maybe not yet. But... that room in your basement. Come on. You are a depraved man. At minimum, a pedophile. But frankly, that's not why we're here. HAIBACH: Why then? Please just tell me... Why. KIRKLAND: I brought you here to ask you some questions. [KIRKLAND lights a blowtorch and holds it up. HAIBACH is visibly scared.] HAIBACH: Anything. I'll—I'll tell you anything. KIRKLAND: All right then. Tell me— do you recognize me? Have you seen me before? HAIBACH: No... I don't think so. KIRKLAND: Okay, we'll come back to that. Next question. HAIBACH: What? KIRKLAND: Are you Red John? HAIBACH: Weakly) What? (Louder voice) What? KIRKLAND [Getting slowly closer with the blowtorch]: Are you... Red John? HAIBACH: (Panting) (Stammers) No... KIRKLAND [Shouting]: Are you Red John? HAIBACH: No! ACT 3 [Exterior: caption reads Dept. of Homeland Security, Sacramento Regional Office. Inside, some people are waiting for the elevator. Jane approaches] JANE: Agent Kirkland? KIRKLAND: Hey... Jane, what are you doing here? (Elevator bell dings) JANE: Uh, can I have a quick word? It's nothing private. Your friends can stay. KIRKLAND: I'll catch up, guys. JANE: I have a pet theory I was hoping you could confirm or deny. KIRKLAND: I'll see what I can do. JANE: Has Homeland Security been investigating me? KIRKLAND: Yes. JANE: I'm surprised you're allowed to tell me that. I mean, you guys are usually so cloak and dagger. KIRKLAND: Well, it's no secret that Homeland Security has the Red John case. Yeah, your name has come up in various ways. JANE: Right. So then did you guys break into my office and steal my list of suspects? KIRKLAND: Absolutely not. JANE: No? Why not? KIRKLAND: Because we don't care who you think Red John is. We have the case. JANE: Point taken. Thanks for your time. KIRKLAND: That's it? JANE: Uh, yeah. I just wanted to make sure you weren't on a wild goose chase, because whoever it was that broke into my office, they stole a fake list of suspects. KIRKLAND: Well played. JANE: Thank you. I thought so. KIRKLAND: Maybe you should come work for us. JANE: Maybe not. [Interior: Homeland Security underground car park. As JANE approaches his car, KIRKLAND drives up] KIRKLAND: You need a ride somewhere? JANE: No, I'm—I'm good, thanks. KIRKLAND: Well, we should talk some more. Get in the car. JANE: Do I have a choice? KIRKLAND: No. JANE: By all means... Let's talk some more. KIRKLAND: Let me see your phone. JANE: Hey, you don't have to do this. I actually want to talk to you. KIRKLAND: Just hand me the phone. [KIRKLAND removes the SIM card] Seatbelt, please. [Interior: CBI bullpen] LISBON: (Clears throat) Hey, have you guys heard from Jane? RIGSBY: Nope. VAN PELT: I haven't seen him since yesterday morning. LISBON: His phone just keeps on going straight to voicemail. Can you ping it for me? VAN PELT: Sure. It'll take me a little while. LISBON: Thanks. It's probably nothing. [Exterior: the barn where KIRKLAND was torturing HAIBACH. KIRKLAND is holding a gn on JANE as they approach it] KIRKLAND: And here we are. Keep moving. [They enter the barn] JANE: Oh, I love what you've done with the place. KIRKLAND: Come on, I'll give you the 10-cent tour. [KIRKLAND opens a closet and HAIBACH is inside, still bound, his face brned and masking tape over his mouth, clearly in pain and terrified. KIRKLAND peels the tape off] HAIBACH: Help me... please. KIRKLAND: Richard Haibach, Patrick Jane. HAIBACH: (Panting) Help me. KIRKLAND: I just wanted you to see the face of the man who got you into this mess. It's a funny story, actually— a comedy of errors. HAIBACH: Please let me go. KIRKLAND: No. HAIBACH: Please. KIRKLAND [replacing the tape]: But don't worry. Jane'll get his, too. [HAIBACH whimpers as the door slams shut. JANE looks alarmed] KIRKLAND: So, let's talk about that real list of Red John suspects. [Interior: LISBON'S office. VAN PELT enters] VAN PELT: I couldn't get a ht on Jane's phone. Wherever he is, he has no cell service. LISBON: Hmm. [Cell phone rings] That's probably him now. [VAN PELT leaves as LISBON answers phone] This is Lisbon. HIGHTOWER (VO): Hello, Lisbon. Do you know who this is? LISBON (Lowered voice): Yes. I thought you were dad. HIGHTOWER [Calling forger car]: I met with Jane yesterday. LISBON: (Normal voice) He didn't say. HIGHTOWER: I asked him not to tell you, but I think I might have gotten him into trouble. I've been trying to call him all day. LISBON: Me, too. HIGHTOWER: I gave him some information yesterday. Did he say anything to you about who he was going to see? LISBON: No. Should he have? HIGHTOWER: Yes. We need to talk. I think I might have caused Jane to do something very dumb. [Interior: KIRKLAND's barn. JANE is now tied to a chair] JANE: Funny thing about the list. Uh, I'd... rather not share it with you. KIRKLAND: I get it. It's been your pet project for a long time. Mine, too. But you will share it with me. JANE: What if I just give you one name to start? (Breathes deeply) Robert Kirkland. KIRKLAND: Interesting. Makes sense, actually. But it doesn't really help me with my cause, though, does it? JANE: No, I suppose not. I was wrong about you. You're not Red John. You're hunting him, same as me. KIRKLAND: Not exactly the same. I'm willing to kll seven people to get the job done. JANE: Touché. KIRKLAND: Why aren't you? JANE: 'Cause that would make me a mrderer. KIRKLAND: You're planning on mrdering Red John. That doesn't make any sense. JANE: Okay, so we—we both have different approaches, but the important thing here is that we share a common goal. We can help each other if we work together. KIRKLAND: I'm not interested in working together, and I doubt you are, either. We both want our revenge, and only one of us is going to get it. [Exterior: HIGHTOWER is parked in her car, LISBON is in the passenger seat] LISBON: Robert Kirkland. (Exhales) I know I should be surprised, but— HIGHTOWER: but he's a creepy guy, that's why. Where would he take Jane? LISBON: Probably the same place he took Benjamin Marx. Jane saw a pine needle in Marx's shoe. It was like he'd walked through a pine forest before he was klled. HIGHTOWER: Lots of pine needles in Northern California. LISBON: Kirkland would be keeping up appearances. He'd be going to the office every day, so... Pine forest within a hundred-mile radius of Sacramento? HIGHTOWER: Sure, sure. If that's all we got. [LISBON makes a phone call] VAN PELT(VO): Hey, boss. LISBON: Van Pelt, I need you to run something for me. Properties or businesses owned by Robert Kirkland within 100 miles of the capitol... In close proximity to a pine forest. VAN PELT [Who is in the CBI bullpen]: Robert Kirkland? LISBON: It's a long story. VAN PELT: Nothing for Robert Kirkland within a hundred miles. (Typing) LISBON: Ah, crap. VAN PELT: But there's a Michael Kirkland. Owns a cabin up near El Dorado State Park. LISBON: Oh, is he a relative? VAN PELT: I don't know. I can check. LISBON: All right, text me the address. VAN PELT: Sure. LISBON: We should call local authorities for backup. HIGHTOWER: No. No. No cops. Nobody can know about me. Please. LISBON: Okay. How do we do this? HIGHTOWER [Switches on the car interior light and pulls back a blanket on the rear seat, revealing an arsenal or wapon]: That's how. [Interior: KIRKLAND's barn] KIRKLAND: Do you have siblings, Jane? JANE: No. KIRKLAND: I had a twin brother— Michael. We were very close growing up. JANE: I hear that's a strong bond. KIRKLAND: And our father was a sadistic drunk. He bat the crap out of us and our mother. Bat her till she couldn't take it anymore. JANE: She left? KIRKLAND: With a razor blade. After that, it was just me and Michael. I was all he had. JANE: You were the stronger one. KIRKLAND: Yeah. Uh, I grew up. I got away. But Michael couldn't do it. (Inhales) He stayed at home and watched our father drink himself to death. JANE: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. KIRKLAND: You're right. Michael turned to the bottle, drank like his life depended on it. I paid for treatments. I took him to meetings. Nothing worked. JANE: Until? KIRKLAND: Until one day he met someone, a man who could help him. JANE: More than a man. A savior. KIRKLAND: Yeah. Red John. He only asked for a few simple things in return. JANE: Devotion and sacrifice. KIRKLAND: Michael drifted further and further away until one day he was gone. I never saw him again. JANE: You think Red John klled your brother. KIRKLAND: Yes. I never found him, but in my heart, I know. (Inhales and exhales) Look at me blab. I-I... you're not my therapist. I didn't bring you here to talk. Please tell me who the suspects are. JANE: No. KIRKLAND: (Sighs) Have it your way. [KIRKLAND picks up a pair of tin snips] You understand, I'm gonna have to trture you. ACT 4 [Interior: KIRKLAND's barn] KIRKLAND: You don't seem like someone who deals well with physical pain. JANE: Uh, not particularly. KIRKLAND: A name then. JANE: I can't do it. KIRKLAND: Fine. [KIRKLAND walks to the closet, then uses the snips to remove HAIBACH's thumb. HAIBACH screams are muffled by the tape over his mouth. JANE can do nothing but watch, horrified] JANE: Okay, okay, okay. [KIRKLAND slams the door on a sobbing HAIBACH and approaches JANE] You... you—you have to understand, this is hard for me... Emotionally. I've never said any of these names out loud to anyone. KIRKLAND: A name. JANE: Turtmee. First name—Don. KIRKLAND: Don Turtmee? (Chuckles) "Don't hurt me". Ha. You got me. Why, I oughta... [Door slams open] LISBON: Put your hands in the air! HIGHTOWER: Keep 'em where we can see 'em! LISBON: Jane, you all right? JANE: Oh, never better. I'm just fine. Dandy. [LISBON handcuffs KIRKLAND, HIGHTOWER approaches JANE] HIGHTOWER: Thanks to us. You were foolish to come here alone. [HIGHTOWER uses the snips to cut the zip ties binding JANE to the chair] JANE: You taking pleasure in this? HIGHTOWER: Don't get me wrong. You are a pain in the ass. JANE: Well, thank you. HIGHTOWER: But I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you, especially when it would be my fault. JANE: Well, I'm sure your conscience is clear now. HIGHTOWER: It is. Now leave me alone. Next time I hear from you, you better be telling me Red John is dad. JANE: Deal. That is a deal. Thank you, Madeleine. [JANE kisses HIGHTOWER on the cheek] HIGHTOWER: You're welcome, Patrick. Good luck. Lisbon... You good here? LISBON: Yeah. HIGHTOWER: You can call for that backup now. [Later, still at the barn, paramedics take HAIBACH away on a stretcher as JANE watches] HAIBACH [to JANE]: Ahh! You'll pay for this! I won't forget! This is on you! Aah! Aah! Aah! LISBON: You sure you're all right? JANE: The list is down to five names. That is a very manageable number. LISBON: Somehow that doesn't reassure me. JANE: We're in the home stretch, Lisbon. SMITH: Hey guys. So, uh, looks like I got it wrong about you. LISBON: Yeah. Looks like you did. JANE: Ah, it's all right. We all make mistakes. SMITH: I mean, a... A Homeland Security agent? Who would have thought, right? JANE: Not me. SMITH: It's gonna be a jurisdictional cluster bmb. But we'll book him first at county. In a few days he'll get transferred to a federal detention center. JANE: I'd like to talk to him for a sec. SMITH: Sure. Hey, Jane. No hard feelings, huh? JANE: No. No hard feelings. SMITH: Lisbon. JANE [to KIRKLAND, with a lowered voice]: If you have anything else to say, now would be the time. KIRKLAND: Oh, I might know some things. But this isn't the best place to talk. Come see me sometime. JANE: I will. KIRKLAND: Are you gonna finish this thing? JANE: Yes. [Interior, CBI bullpen. VAN PELT, wearing a fastened trenchcoat and red high heels with straps running up her calves, approaches RIGSBY. His back is turned] VAN PELT: Hey. RIGSBY [Not turning around from the paperwork he is examining]: Hey. Lisbon called. They're not coming back into the office tonight. VAN PELT: Okay. RIGSBY: You can probably go, too. (Sighs) There's nobody else here. VAN PELT: Sure. RIGSBY [Turning around]: Did you change? VAN PELT: What, this old thing? [She pulls something from her coat pocket and holds it up] Wait. What's this? RIGSBY: It looks like a hotel room key. Wait. You didn't, did you? [He grins] VAN PELT: I did. The honeymoon suite. Mrs. Capello is watching Ben. RIGSBY: That's amazing. Thank you. (Chuckles) You know, I was beginning to think— VAN PELT: I know what you thought. RIGSBY: And am I crazy? VAN PELT: Yes. [She opens her trenchcoat to reveal she is just wearing lingerie underneath]You shouldn't think so much, Wayne. RIGSBY: [Eagerly grabbing VAN PELT's hand and running to the elevator] Come on. [RIGSBY and VAN PELT kiss in the back corner of the elevator. A JANITOR enters the elevator and they spring apart. He turns to face forwards and they both laugh] JANITOR [As the elevator doors close]: Don't mind me. [Exterior: a prison transfer van is driving along an empty road at night. Another vehicle approaches from behind, flashing it's headlights and honking it's horn. Inside KIRKLAND looks around as both vehicles stop. SMITH approaches the driver] SMITH: Let me speak to him. [SMITH opens the rear doors. KIRKLAND: What's going on? What are you doing here? SMITH: You ht the nail on the head, Bob. KIRKLAND: About what? SMITH: There is a powerful organization within law enforcement. But it's a lot bigger than you thought. It's not just the big boys, either. They even let lower level guys like me in. KIRKLAND: I know what you're doing. SMITH: We've had our eye on you for a long time. We just want to help. It's what we do. KIRKLAND: Help me how? SMITH: Listen to me closely. That's the address of a safe house. It's 2 miles due east of here. When you get there, someone will contact you, get you some money, I.D., clothes. (Crumpling address) KIRKLAND: I don't believe you. SMITH: (Sighs) Come on, Bob. Get out of the van. [KIRKLAND looks around the van, at the driver who is resolutely ignoring what is happening behind him, then he exits the van] SMITH: Start running. KIRKLAND: Just do it here. SMITH: Actually, I'd prefer it if you ran. You know... protocol. [KIRKLAND runs as best he can in prison shackles. SMITH walks to the front of the vehicle, takes the van driver's gn and sh*ts the entire clip into KIRKLAND's back. KIRKLAND falls to the ground. SMITH returns the gn to the driver's holster] SMITH: Agent Kirkland tried to escape. You had no choice but to use deadly force. Do you understand? DRIVER: Tiger tiger. SMITH: Tiger tiger.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "06x04 - Red Listed"}	foreverdreaming
Author: bunniefuu [ 10/29/13 23:30 ] Updated 25th July 2022 by MaggieMay19 06x05 - The Red Tattoo VO: Previously on "The Mentalist"... LISBON: Jane has worked out that Red John is one of seven men. But Red John also knows the seven names on Jane's list. I'm gonna give you the seven names, and I need you to put a G.P.S. bug on each of their cell phones. VAN PELT: The wires are up. LISBON: Okay. We watch them like hawks. We log everywhere they go 24/7. WOMAN (VO on phone): We have an anonymous tip directed to your unit. A person or persons in distress at West Huron. LISBON: Brett Partridge is there. [at the address, LISBON finds PARTRIDGE bound and injured] LISBON: Partridge! PARTRIDGE: Tiger... T-tiger. [at the wedding venue] JANE: Just that hammer— you see that up there? Is that blod on the hitting side? MCALLISTER: Could be. I'll call forensics. LISBON: Did you see that? He did not want to go up that ladder. Didn't the psychiatrist's office say that Red John was afraid of heights? [on the roof, to MCALLISTER] JANE: Wh-where did you come from? (Exhales) [on a park bench] KIRKLAND: While investigating Red John, Homeland Security began to suspect the existence of a powerful secret organization within California law enforcement. We're looking for partners within the F.B.I. Lower level guys that we're sure we can trust. SMITH: That's me. [in a multi-storey car park] KIRKLAND: We should talk some more. Get in the car. JANE: Do I have a choice? KIRKLAND: No. [JANE is tied up in KIRKLAND's remote barn] JANE: I was wrong about you. You're not Red John. You're hunting him, same as me. KIRKLAND: We both want our revenge, and only one of us is going to get it. Please tell me who the suspects are. JANE: No. KIRKLAND: You understand I'm gonna have to trture you. [LISBON and HIGHTOWER break into the barn] LISBON: Put your hands in the air! Jane, you all right? [after KIRKLAND is arrested] KIRKLAND: Are you gonna finish this thing? JANE: Yes. (Engine starts) [the prison transfer vehicle is stopped on a lonely road during KIRKLAND's transfer] SMITH: There is a powerful organization within law enforcement. It's a lot bigger than you thought. It's not just the big boys, either. They even let lower level guys like me in. [SMITH sh*ts KIRKLAND multiple times after making him run from the vehicle] SMITH: Agent Kirkland tried to escape. You had no choice but to use deadly force. Do you understand? DRIVER: Tiger tiger. SMITH: Tiger tiger. ACT 1 [Caption: San Francisco, CA. Radcliffe Hotel. PARKMAN, holding a paper bag and a handkerchief, walks through the lobby to the elevators. He seems anxious, mopping his brow and repeatedly sab at the elevator buttons.] TOURIST: Hold the elevator. SON: So, dad, can we ride on the cable car? [Elevator bell dings as doors close] TOURIST: Yeah, you bet. SON: Then lunch in Chinatown? TOURIST: Again? SON: I like those noodles, and the dumplings. TOURIST: (Chuckles) Well... [PARKMAN is rolling his eyes at the ceiling, muttering. As soon as the elevator doors open he pushes past the child to exit the elevator] TOURIST: Whoa! What the heck? Hey, who do you think you are? You can't shove my kid. Don't run away from me! Hey! Hey! [Pounds on door] You open this door! I'm complaining to the management! You hear me? [to son] You all right, buddy? He get ya? Huh? HOTEL SECURITY [Knocking on door]: Mr. Parkman? Sir, this is hotel security. [Knocks again] Mr. Parkman, I'm gonna have to ask you to open the door, please. [Sounds come from the hotel room - a man cries out, something heavy falls, something shatters] HOTEL SECURITY: Mr. Parkman? Sir? I'm coming in. [The door is chained but HOTEL SECURITY has bolt cutters. He opens the door. Inside PARKMAN is clutching a wound in his chest] PARKMAN: Help. [PARKMAN falls to his knees] He sab me. [The TOURIST enters the doorway as PARKMAN collapses to the floor] HOTEL SECURITY: Who sab you? Mr. Parkman? Oh, jeez. Mr. Parkman? [to TOURIST] G-get some help. [into a walkie-talkie] Uh, call 9-1-1! Room 8-1-5. Deceased white male. [Interior: hotel hallway.] RIGSBY: And you say the vctim appeared worried? TOURIST: Yeah, he was looking over his shoulder when he got in the elevator, like he was being chased. SON: Yeah. He had something in a paper bag. RIGSBY: And what sort of time was this? [Interior: PARKMAN's room] TOURIST (VO): 10:55. HOTEL SECURITY: I entered the room at 10:58 p.m. The vctim, Chad Parkman, was on the floor in some distress. He stated he had been sab by another individual. JANE: Hmmm. HOTEL SECURITY: Although he appeared to be alone in the room. JANE: Lisbon. Uh, this is the head of hotel security. A fount of information. Agent Lisbon from the CBI. She'll be happy to listen to you. [JANE starts looking around] LISBON: Do we have a mrder wapon? HOTEL SECURITY: Uh, no, ma'am, nor have I been able to establish any means of egress used by the kller. LISBON: Uh, what about a paper bag? The kid outside mentioned a paper bag. CBI KARL: Uh, just scraps on the toilet. Must have been shredded and flushed. LISBON: Any idea what was in it? CBI KARL: No idea. HOTEL SECURITY: Maybe the perp who klled him took it. RIGSBY: Hey, boss. Just got a call on the radio. Another homicide nearby. Attempted carjacking, looks like. LISBON: Related? RIGSBY: Probably not. Thought I'd check it out. LISBON: All right. Come back as quick as you can. RIGSBY: Okay. HOTEL SECURITY: When I was outside the room, I heard them struggling, then heard the vctim cry out when he was sab. But then I got the door open... He was all alone. LISBON: Window's open. JANE: It's a long way down, and a long way up to the roof. I don't think he went that way. HOTEL SECURITY: So, what? Magic? JANE: Nope. Just a trick. HAFFNER [Walking into the hotel room]: And we all know how good you are at those, don't we? Tricks, I mean. Hey, Teresa. LISBON: Ray. What are you doing here? You don't work at the CBI anymore. HAFFNER: I'm with a client. JANE: He works for Visualize. COOPER: He does, and this is a Visualize matter. HOTEL SECURITY: Who are they? JANE: Uh, this is Jason Cooper, errand boy for cult leader Bret Stiles, and Ray Haffner, who is a member of the cult. COOPER: Visualize is not a cult, and it is exactly bigotry like that that leads to mrder like this. LISBON: What are you talking about? COOPER: Chad Parkman was a prominent member of the Visualize community. We view his mrder as a hate crime. Mr. Haffner is to be included in your investigation. HAFFNER: Purely as a vctim's advocate, but I do like the idea of working with you again, Teresa. LISBON: I appreciate your concern, Mr. Cooper, but we never let civilians in our investigations—ever. HAFFNER [Points at JANE]: Never ever? LISBON: Well, he's— he's different. JANE: I'm different. COOPER: I have a letter here signed by the Lieutenant Governor inviting Mr. Haffner to join the investigation. HAFFNER: To observe. That's all. COOPER: Read the letter, Agent Lisbon. I am confident you'll want to grant the Lieutenant Governor's request. [JANE hums as he leaves to go to the elevator. HAFFNER follows] HAFFNER: So... any ideas on the case yet? JANE: Just questions. HAFFNER: It's a stumper, isn't it? Speaking of which, how's your Red John investigation going? JANE: In the bag. [Elevator arrives, they enter] HAFFNER: You know, we study you in Visualize now. JANE: Oh. HAFFNER: Yeah. Your blind struggle against fate. So heroic. So fruitless. Bret says there's a lot to be learned from watching Patrick Jane, so... we all do. JANE: So much anger. It's not good for you. HAFFNER: (Scoffs) Anger? I'm not angry. JANE: Annihilating rage. About what, I have no idea. HAFFNER: You don't know anything about me. (Bell dings) JANE: Just what's written on your face. HAFFNER: You're so much smarter than everybody else, right? But it isn't helping you catch Red John, is it? [they enter lobby] Here's a switch for you. I'm gonna predict your future. There's a comeuppance headed your way. JANE [Chuckles]: You're a worse psychic than you were a cop. ♪ The Mentalist 6x05 ♪ The Red Tattoo Original Air Date on October 27, 2013 ACT 2 [Interior: CBI offices] VAN PELT: Hey. So our vctim— Chad Parkman— was a successful olympic gymnastics coach. He had a facility out in Marin. LISBON: What was he doing at he hotel? VAN PELT: Sports health conference. He was the keynote speaker. LISBON: Hmm. What about the Visualize angle? Did you find anything there? VAN PELT: Nothing I.D.ing him as a member. You think Cooper's lying? LISBON I don't know. LISBON: Uh, if Bret Stiles sends his second-in-command and private security, it's important to Visualize somehow. Let's play nice. I'll go make up with Cooper. I want you to go through the security tapes with Haffner. He likes you. Just be helpful and accommodating. Get him talking. Pump him for every bit of information that you can. VAN PELT: Sure, boss. I know what to do. LISBON: But be careful. You know. VAN PELT: Yeah. LISBON: Hey. You wanna come with me to talk to Cooper? JANE: Nope. We don't want to spook him. I'll take Cho to Parkman's gym. He can talk reps and curls, and I'll take a little look around. LISBON: All right. I'll call you if I find anything out. [Caption: PARKMAN's Gym, Marin, CA. It is busy with gymnasts training. JANE approaches a man filming a gymnast] GYMNASTICS DAD: Nice... nice... Okay, now... All right, now... Stick the landing, Kimmy. Good... Gah! That's right! Nice. Wow. JANE: She's impressive. GYMNASTICS DAD: You know, Rio 2016— that's the goal. JANE: And, uh, Parkman was your first choice as coach? GYMNASTICS DAD: You bet. Uh... Parkman offering to coach your kid? [JANE makes a non-committal motion with his head] Ah, you know, he's probably too busy to take your kid on, but, uh, he's the best. JANE: Yeah? GYMNASTICS DAD: Oh, yeah. He got Kimmy to bear down in ways I never could. She's always texting with friends, wanting to go for pizzas on a Friday night with boys. You know? No more of that. JANE: Mm. Thank goodness. GYMNASTICS DAD: And I never feel I had to worry about her being alone with him. JANE: Well, that would be important, wouldn't it? GYMNASTICS DAD: Yeah. [to Kimmy] All right, let's go. JANE: Thanks. CHO: Did Mr. Parkman ever talk about his personal life? GYMNASTICS MOM: No, never. I would ask questions sometimes just to be polite, you know, and he would just be very vague. CHO: Thank you. GYMNASTICS MOM: Mm-hmm. [WOMAN approaches] WOMAN : Uh, excuse me—ooh! [she trips] CHO: Whoa, careful. [She laughs as CHO helps her up] You all right? WOMAN: Yeah. Guess I shouldn't have worn heels. (Laughs) Um, my little sister's interested in gymnastics. Could you help explain this pricing to me? CHO: Uh, I don't work here. WOMAN: Oh. I— MYLAR: Excuse me. You're the guy from CBI? CHO: That's right. Agent Kimball Cho. MYLAR: I'm Bill Mylar, co-owner. We talked on the phone. CHO: Right. WOMAN: Oh, wait. You're here investigating something? CHO: A mrder. MYLAR: I thought you were gonna come directly to my office. JANE: Uh, we decided to talk to some of your clientele. You don't mind, do you? MYLAR: Anything that helps, but the truth is, everybody here at the gym loved Chad. JANE: Mm. People always say that about the dad. Seldom is it true. Is there someplace private we can talk? [MYLAR leads the way] WOMAN: (Sighs) So... you're a policeman. Duh! (Chuckles) I'm so sorry. I'm embarrassed. (Giggles) Somebody died? CHO: Yes. WOMAN: Oh, my gosh, a mrder? CHO: Did you know Chad Parkman? WOMAN: The gym owner? No. What happened? CHO: There's a staff member right over there. They can tell you about the pricing. WOMAN: Tough guy, huh? (Chuckling) Thanks. Excuse me. Could you help me with this pricing...? [Exterior: LISBON and COOPER are sitting at a table outside a restaurant] LISBON: I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Now I want you to know that I am completely committed to finding whoever klled Mr. Parkman. COOPER: Our interests are the same. LISBON: In light of that, I-I was wondering if you could give me a little history as to Mr. Parkman's role in Visualize. I haven't been able to find any evidence linking him to your organization. COOPER: Chad's eyes were opened to the truth only recently. But he was deeply committed. We had big plans for him. LISBON: What kind of plans? COOPER: Chad Parkman had very positive name recognition across all quadrants. The most commonly used word to describe him was "trustworthy". LISBON: So you were gonna use him for public outreach? COOPER: Something like that, yes. LISBON: Do you think that's why someone klled him? COOPER: It's a strong possibility. LISBON: Uh, what was Mr. Parkman's relationship with Bret Stiles? COOPER: Bret Stiles was a guide and a beacon for Chad, as he is for all of us. LISBON: And where is Mr. Stiles? COOPER: I can't be certain. LISBON: Really? You have no idea where he is? COOPER: It is not necessary for me to know where he is in physical space. If he needs me, he will find me. [LISBON's cell phone rings] LISBON: Would you excuse me? [she leaves the table] Hey, Rigs. RIGSBY: Hey. I've been investigating the carjacking scene. So the vctim here got sht. On the seat next to him, we have a bloody knfe. LISBON: Do you think it's the same knfe that was used to kll Parkman? RIGSBY: Yeah, it could be. You can see the hotel from here. LISBON: Get that knfe to the lab. RIGSBY: Will do, boss. LISBON: I'm on my way back to the CBI. RIGSBY: Okay. [Interior: a viewing area in PARKMAN's Gym] MYLAR: Parkman was the face of the business. I do the business. JANE: And how is business? MYLAR: Phenomenal. We're planning on expanding to the southeast, northeast, every place. Now I don't know what we're gonna do. JANE: Well, there are upsides to Parkman's death, let's be honest. MYLAR: What are you talking about? You know, that's a very sick thing to say. JANE: Well, think about all the sympathetic press coverage. That's free publicity right there. Plus the whole Visualize mess goes away. MYLAR: What are you talking about? JANE: Well, you've heard of Visualize, right? MYLAR: Of course I have. It's that wacko cult. What does that have to do with anything? JANE: Yeah, well, Parkman was a member of Visualize. You didn't know that? MYLAR: No. JANE [looks through the window down into the busy gym]: You sure? MYLAR: Yes, I'm sure. [JANE runs out and down to the gym floor] MYLAR: Hey. JANE [to the same dad he spoke with earlier]: Tell me, did Chad talk about Visualize a lot? GYMNASTICS DAD: Yeah, sure. Uh... he was a member. Some kind of weird self-help group. It's not my thing, but if it helped him coach, all power to him. JANE: Mm. And, uh, Mr. Mylar— how did he feel about Visualize? GYMNASTICS DAD: Oh, Mylar hated that stuff. You'd see them arguing about it all the time. JANE: Oh, really? Hated it, did he? Hmm. MYLAR: Oh. You got me. A foolish lie. The truth—I was mad as hell about Visualize. I'm trying to expand our business, he joins some moonbat cult? We fought about it a lot, so now I feel guilty that we ended on bad terms. But I didn't kll him. JANE: You didn't, did you? CHO [On phone]: Boss wants us back. JANE [Taking phone]: Lisbon, you find something? LISBON: The knfe that klled Parkman at the site of Rigsby's carjacking. JANE: Uh, what was the carjacking vctim's name? LISBON: Frost. Devin Frost. JANE: Tell me about Devin Frost. MYLAR: Devin? He used to work here. He's a good kid. JANE: Interesting news. The plot thickens. [into phone] Plot thickens. Lisbon? She's gone. ACT 3 [Exterior: alley. CBI Ron picks up a gn with black tape on the barrel. he shows it to CBI KARL] CBI KARL [on phone] We're in an alley about a block from the hotel. We found a gn. VAN PELT [On phone in the CBI offices]: Is this the gn used to kll Frost? CBI KARL: Yeah, looks like it. And there's duct tape on the barrel from the silncer. VAN PELT: Well, get it to ballistics. Make sure it's a match. See if we can get any fingerprints. CBI KARL: Will do. Bye. VAN PELT [entering bullpen]: Looks like we've got the gn. RIGSBY:Yeah? VAN PELT: It's on its way to forensics now, but it's a pretty sure bet. LISBON: Well, as soon as Haffner gets here, we'll get started. RIGSBY: I don't like it, boss. Uh... Haffner shouldn't even be in our offices. He's one of Jane's Red John suspects. CHO: And he's a member of Visualize. RIGSBY: Which is run by another Red John suspect. We should be investigating him, not letting him join our investigation. LISBON: We don't really have a choice. Might as well make the most of it. Haffner! HAFFNER: Teresa. Lovely as always. Guys. So what have we got so far? LISBON: Well, let's see. Parkman entered the hotel at 10:48. He was anxious, and witnesses got the impression that he was being pursued. He has an altercation in the elevator, and Parkman flees to his room at approximately 10:51. VAN PELT: And at 10:58, hotel security opened Parkman's room to find him dying on the floor with a sab wound. At 12 past 11:00, police and E.M.T.s arrive, but they pronounce Parkman dad at the scene. Nobody could have entered or left the room during that time period without being seen. HAFFNER: Huh. RIGSBY: Here's the park. The hotel's on the one side, and this is where Devin Frost was mrdered— on the other side of the park. Now, in Frost's car, there's a knfe with Parkman's blod on the blade and Frost's fingerprints on the handle. We also found a homemade silncer in the car. And we found the gn that belongs to the silncer here in the alley, which, given the timeline, seems to be a physical impossibility. HAFFNER: So... Frost sab Parkman and somehow left the hotel without being seen, and then an unknown assailant klled Frost? CHO: It would look that way. The silncer didn't work too well. We have three witnesses who heard a gnshot around 10:57. HAFFNER: What, so Frost got sht in his car at almost the exact same time that he was supposedly in the hotel sab Parkman? VAN PELT: Which is impossible. LISBON: Correct. HAFFNER: So, you're looking for an unknown suspect who is a magician or quite possibly a wizard of some kind. Well. Great work, guys. LISBON: Uh, we've brought in Mylar, the owner of the gym. We're hoping he can shed some light on this, or at least give us a plausible motive. HAFFNER: Okay then. Well, I'm so glad we got the "A" team working this case. I'm gonna go back to the hotel and look things over again. Ciao, kids. [LISBON's office] LISBON: Jane said not to lean on Mylar too hard. Just ask him about Parkman and Frost and see how he reacts. CHO: You got it. RIGSBY: (Knocks on door) Hey, sorry to interrupt. Weird report just came over my desk. It's about Bob Kirkland. CHO: What, the psychotic Homeland Security agent we arrested? RIGSBY: Yeah. He's dad. LISBON: dad? How'd he die? RIGSBY: The report says he was klled attempting to escape from prison. LISBON: Seriously? RIGSBY: Doesn't sound right, does it? CHO: No, it doesn't. RIGSBY: I should check it out, right? LISBON: Find out what happened and why. RIGSBY: Will do, boss. LISBON: And see what we can get from Mylar. CHO: You got it. [Interior: interrogation room] CHO: How long had Devin Frost worked for you at the gym? MYLAR: Couple years. CHO: What was his relationship with Chad Parkman? MYLAR: Parkman had coached him and brought him on as an assistant. CHO: Was Frost a member of Visualize? MYLAR: Him? I don't think so. One thing about those Visualize nuts— they got a work ethic. CHO: And Frost not so much? Is that why you fired him? MYLAR: I didn't. He quit. CHO: Really? When? MYLAR: About a month ago. Parkman went to a gymnastics tournament in Europe. In the past, Frost went with him. This time, he didn't. Instead he walked in, told me he was quitting, walked out. Last time I saw him. CHO: He and Parkman get into a fight? MYLAR: No, uh... I just figured he got a better offer somewhere else and was taking advantage of Parkman not being around to quit to me. CHO: Why would he do that? MYLAR: Like I said, Parkman had been Frost's mentor since he was a teenager. I don't think he has the courage to quit to Parkman's face. [LISBON and JANE are watching the interrogation from behind the one-way window] LISBON: You think Mylar is our kller? JANE: Eh. LISBON: Me, neither. JANE: Cooper was awfully cagey with you about Stiles' whereabouts, wasn't he? LISBON: Mm-hmm. After I spoke to Cooper, I did some digging. Stiles is missing. Nobody knows where he is. JANE: Really? When? LISBON: Around the same time Red John sent you the Lorelei Martins tape. VAN PELT: Boss? I just got Frost's phone records. Look at this. That's Ray Haffner's cell phone. Frost called it three times the week before he sab Parkman. JANE: Well, let's go see what Brother Ray has to say about that. LISBON: He's not here. He went to the hotel. He said he had to check on something. JANE: Then we'll go there. LISBON: No, you stay here. Grace and I will go. JANE: Don't be ridiculous. LISBON: We'll be fine. He's more likely to let something slip to us than he would to you. JANE: All right. But what am I supposed to do, just sit around? LISBON: Well, we still haven't figured out how Frost got out of the hotel room after he sab Parkman. JANE: Except Frost couldn't have been there in the first place, could he? LISBON: You said it was a trick. Figure it out. [Exterior: CHO and RIGSBY are walking to a food cart in a park] RIGSBY: I got the name of the SAC P.D. detective who investigated Kirkland's sh*ting. He's gonna come by CBI. CHO: Good work. RIGSBY: Hey, man. Usual, please. You want anything? CHO: Yeah, coffee. Black. RIGSBY: It's a fruit stand, Cho. They sell fruit. CHO: Okay. No. RIGSBY: Give me another one with everything—lime, chili. Thank you. That's great. Keep the change. Ahh... I'm starving. Mmm. I guess you burn a lot of calories, being a newlywed. CHO: (Sighs) We're not having this conversation. RIGSBY: It's amazing. You'd think that marriage would just cool things off, but for us, it's just the opposite. CHO: Please stop talking. RIGSBY: You know, I think I'm the happiest I've ever been. Every morning when I wake up next to her, and every night when we go to bed together, I just think, "wow, I'm the luckiest man in the world", you know? CHO: I just lost my appetite. RIGSBY: So I wanna say thank you. 'Cause you were the one that made me take the risk. CHO: And I'm starting to regret it. RIGSBY: No. You're a good friend, and I owe you. I'm gonna find you somebody to love. CHO: No. You're not. RIGSBY: Yes, I am. Trust me, there is no point in going through life alone. (Chewing) Are you really not gonna eat that? Hmm. [Interior: PARKMAN's hotel room. The CSIs are leaving with evidence bags as LISBON and VAN PELT arrive] LISBON: Thanks. HAFFNER: Oh. Hello. Teresa. Agent Van Pelt. What brings you two here? LISBON: Why didn't you tell us you called Frost the week before he klled Parkman? HAFFNER: Look, there's nothing suspicious about it. I was hired by Visualize to protect Parkman from Frost. VAN PELT: Bang-up job. HAFFNER: Frost was thrat a wrongful termination suit. I figured he was just looking for a payout. LISBON: What'd you say to him? HAFFNER: Well, I told him that Visualize's lawyers were behind Parkman, and they'd keep it in the courts until Frost had spent his last penny. LISBON: What's wrong, Ray? These questions making you uncomfortable? HAFFNER: Do you see that? It's that. It's a spider. I hate spiders. VAN PELT: Better now? HAFFNER Look. It... (Chuckles) It never occurred to me that Frost was planning anything like a mrder. He didn't really strike me as the violent type. Live and learn, I guess. VAN PELT: Hmm. HAFFNER: Sometimes you get it wrong. Next time you do better. I've been trying to figure out how Frost got away. You know, the trick that Jane can't figure out. VAN PELT: And? HAFFNER: Well, we know there was a third man. LISBON: Yeah, the one who klled Frost. HAFFNER: There had to be a fourth as well. An inside man. LISBON: An inside man? HAFFNER: Or woman. A maid, a cook, a bellboy, whatever. Somebody who could help Frost get in and out of the hotel without being seen. VAN PELT: There's no evidence Frost had contact with any of the hotel's employees. We did interviews. HAFFNER: So? Somebody lied to you. VAN PELT: The kller could have already been gone by the time hotel security got to the room. HAFFNER: All the witnesses said they heard a struggle going on inside the room. LISBON: : Uh, there is a difference between hearing and seeing. HAFFNER: Autopsy report just came out. Parkman wasn't immediately klled from the knfe wound. He died from a struggle sometime after being sab. He had an aortal hemorrhage. So... You're welcome. [He exits room. LISBON and VAN PELT follow to the elevator] LISBON: (Huffs) How did you get the autopsy before us? HAFFNER: I still have friends in CBI, Teresa. They help when I need it. Speaking of... helping friends, a word of advice for both of you. LISBON: Yeah? What's that? HAFFNER: Jane. He's made a mess of things. He doesn't know when to leave well enough alone. You know what I mean? LISBON: No, I don't. HAFFNER: There's a lot of powerful people that Jane's pissed off, not just Red John. You should get out of the way, both of you, before something happens. I really—I'd hate to see you get hurt. LISBON: It's funny you should say that, Ray, because, actually, we're putting your name on a list of suspects for Parkman's mrder. HAFFNER: What? That's crazy. VAN PELT: The third man could have klled both Frost and Parkman. [Elevator arrives] HAFFNER: Frost klled Parkman. VAN PELT: Maybe the third man just wanted it to look that way. LISBON: Maybe it's you, Ray. Maybe you're the third man. You have motive. [The elevator doors were closing but HAFFNER puts a hand out to stop them] HAFFNER: I just hope you remember this. That I tried to help. Okay? [He lets the doors close] LISBON: I want to see that autopsy report. [Interior: CBI offices] RIGSBY: Thanks for coming in, Detective Cordero. I really appreciate it. CORDERO: Yeah. Call me Oscar. Wow. Nice digs you got here. No expense spared for you CBI folks, huh? RIGSBY: Yeah. Can I get you something? Coffee? CORDERO: Nah, I'm fine. Here's the file on the Kirkland sh*ting. It's got the prison report plus my investigation. RIGSBY: Anything that stuck out? (File rustling) CORDERO: Nah. Only a sick puppy who couldn't hack doing his time, looking for any way out... in my opinion. RIGSBY: And you spoke to the correctional officer who sht him? CORDERO: Oh, yeah. He was just a kid. Says your guy Kirkland paid no attention to three verbal warnings, just kept going, didn't even turn around. Kid had to sht. You hate to see something like that, you know? Some piece of crap making a cop do what he ain't got the stones to do himself. It ain't right. And I'll tell you somethin'. Messed the kid up really bad. P.T.S.D... or something. It's a damn shame. RIGSBY: Hmm. Can I make a copy of this? CORDERO: Don't need to. Brought that one for you. Thought you might want it. RIGSBY: Thanks. CORDERO: Hey, no problem. Maybe one day you'll do a favor for me, right? CHO [Entering the room]: He clear things up? RIGSBY: Not really. I mean, he says it was clean. Kirkland was trying to escape, nobody wanted to sht him, but they were forced to— reluctantly. CHO: You don't buy it. RIGSBY: Well, it says in here he was sht six times in the back. CHO: Six doesn't sound so reluctant. RIGSBY: No, it doesn't. That's the story we're gonna get. CHO: Okay. I'll tell the boss. [In the CBI bullpen the woman from the gym enters] WOMAN: Hi. Uh, where can I find Kimball Cho? VAN PELT: That's his desk, but he stepped out for a moment. Can I help you? WOMAN: Maybe. I met him this morning at the gym. I thought I'd come by and see if he wants to let me buy him a cup of coffee. (Chuckles) Plan seemed normal when I was driving over here, but now it's feeling a little stalker-ish. Does it seem stalker-ish to you? VAN PELT: Mm, a little. Yeah. WOMAN: Okay, I should go. CHO: Hey. WOMAN: Oh. Remember me? CHO: From the gym, yeah. WOMAN: Yeah. (Sighs) CHO: Come here. Sit down for a second. WOMAN: Okay. Thanks. CHO: What are you doing here? WOMAN: (Sighs and giggles) My name's Kira. Kira Tinsley. I was gonna buy you a coffee, but it was a bad idea. I'm gonna go. CHO: No, I can drink a cup of coffee. Give me a second. [LISBON's office] LISBON: Uh, when Parkman was sab, the knfe glanced over the rib and barely nicked the aorta. Haffner wasn't lying. There coroner says that there was a struggle after the sab that caused the nick to tear, and that's what started the hemorrhaging that klled Parkman. JANE: Ah. [JANE notices CHO leaving with TINSLEY] LISBON: And if Frost and Parkman were really struggling and that's what caused the hemorrhage, how is it that Frost didn't get Parkman's blod all over him? And how did he avoid tracking bloody footprints out of the room? [JANE chuckles] LISBON: Huh. Jane? JANE: I just solved the case. LISBON: Really? How? JANE: Yeah. But one thing first, Lisbon. [He leaves LISBON's office and enters the bullpen] LISBON: Jane? JANE: Grace? Who was that woman Cho just met with? VAN PELT: Someone named Kira Tinsley. JANE: Oh, the woman he met at the gym? VAN PELT: That's right. [While they are talking, JANE searches around CHO's desk, finds something stuck underneath it and pockets it] JANE: Attractive, right? VAN PELT: She was okay, if you like that type. JANE: You, uh, you ever go to the gym, Grace? VAN PELT: Sure. JANE: You ever try to pick up a guy there? VAN PELT: Ugh. No. JANE: Uh, did they happen to say where they were going? VAN PELT: Coffee. LISBON: Now you just walk out in the middle of a conversation? JANE: Lisbon, can I ask a favor? LISBON: What? JANE: Can you go get one of those elastic exercise bands, the kind to help you stretch with? LISBON: What do you need one of those for? JANE: Bring it to Parkman's hotel room. I'll meet you there. ACT 4 [Exterior: a table near a coffee stand] TINSLEY: What do I do? Oh... client relations. Boring stuff. Tell me more about the CBI. CHO: It's a job. Uh, we try to help people, try to stop the bad guys. TINSLEY: You don't talk much, do you? CHO: No. TINSLEY: (Laughs) It's all right. I like that in a man. CHO: Good. JANE: Hey, Cho. Hey. Kira Tinsley, right? TINSLEY: Yeah. JANE: Is that yours? That looks good. May I? [JANE takes a bite from her cake] TINSLEY: What? Oh. JANE: (Mouth full) Mmm. Nice muffin. I think this is yours. TINSLEY: What is that? I've never seen one of those. CHO: It's a bug. A listening device. JANE: Really? Because I found that under Kimball's desk and I was certain that it belonged to you. TINSLEY: Why would you say that? JANE: Because it goes with, uh... [JANE picks up her purse and looks through it] This. Here. And here's your wallet, and that identifies you as a private investigator, doesn't it? TINSLEY: Yeah. All right. Okay. That's why I don't take jobs like this, but... The client paid cash up front, so... I'll take this. JANE: No, you can't— you can't have those. TINSLEY: What? JANE :You can't— [It drops into the cup of coffee] JANE: Oops. TINSLEY: That cost me 300 bucks. JANE: Yeah, I'm sorry. [TINSLEY leaves] CHO: Excuse me a minute. Hey! Wait a minute. TINSLEY: (Sighs) Look, it was just business. Nothing personal, okay? CHO: Your client—who was it? TINSLEY: You know I can't reveal that. CHO: All right, I'm arresting you under section 632. That's worth a year in jail. TINSLEY: Hey, wait a second! No, whoa, whoa, whoa! We can work something out here, right? Jeez. What do you want to know? CHO: What were you hired to do? TINSLEY: Bug your office, get close to you. Client wanted to know everything you and your team knew. CHO: And who was your client? Was it Visualize? TINSLEY: Yeah. So are we good? CHO: Are you Visualize? TINSLEY: No. I just work for whoever hires me. Are we done? CHO: Yeah, we're done. TINSLEY: Look, you seem like a nice guy. Uh... no hard feelings? [CHO doesn't answer, instead returning to JANE, who is finishing the muffin] CHO: Looks like she was hired by Visualize. I'm gonna put a tail on her. JANE: (Mouth full) No need. I put the bug in her bag. We can listen to her whenever we like. [CHO pours out the coffee to find a penny, not the bug] JANE: Let's go solve that double mrder, shall we? CHO: Right. [PARKMAN's hotel room. HAFFNER and COOPER are sitting on the couch when LISBON arrives] HAFFNER: Teresa. (Door closes) Any idea why we're here? COOPER: Your Mr. Jane asked us to come. HAFFNER: Oh—are you gonna teach us aerobics? LISBON: Jane will be here any minute. [Exterior: alley] JANE: So the gn was found somewhere here, right? RIGSBY: Mm-hmm. JANE: And the hotel is... That way, yes? RIGSBY: Right. You can't see it, but it's just the other side of that wall. JANE: I'm right. CHO: About what? JANE: Uh, you stay here with Rigsby, and keep very alert. I don't want anyone getting hurt. [Interior: PARKMAN's hotel room] COOPER: Oh. Finally. We've been waiting here long enough. JANE: All good things come to those who wait. Thank you. HAFFNER: You gonna solve the case now with a stretchy band? JANE: Yes, among other things. The first thing that's important to note is that Parkman and Frost were lovers. HAFFNER: Gay? No, they weren't. JANE: Yes, they were. COOPER: We never heard anything about that. LISBON: No. Because the relationship started when Parkman was Frost's coach. JANE: When Frost was still a minor. [Flashback to JANE at the gym] GYMNASTICS DAD: And I never felt I had to worry about him being alone with her. MYLAR: Like I said, Parkman was Frost's mentor since he was a teenager. [Back to present day] COOPER: And continued to the present day? LISBON: Yes. Then the relationship started going badly. When Parkman went to Europe, that was the final straw. JANE: Mylar thought Frost was sneaking away when Parkman wasn't looking. [Flashback] MYLAR: Parkman went to a gymnastics tournament in Europe. In the past, Frost went with him. This time, he didn't. LISBON: He had it backwards. Parkman hadn't invited Frost. JANE: So he assumed that he was being replaced with a younger lover... (Inhales) And decided to seek revenge. LISBON: So he tried filing a wrongful termination suit, but he found himself being intimidated by Visualize. JANE: So he tried the hard touch, when Parkman came to the hotel for the conference. Now their relationship had always been a consensual one, but that wouldn't matter in the eyes of the public or the law. It was in Frost's power to transform Parkman from a—an olympic coach to a child molester with just a few words. He demanded that Parkman bring a large sum of money across the park in a brown paper bag. LISBON: Or Frost would ruin Parkman's life forever. JANE: And Frost was right in his estimation of what Parkman stood to lose. What he didn't realize was how Parkman would react. [Flashback to PARKMAN sh*ting Frost with the silenced gn] JANE: The soda bottle silncer worked perfectly. Even if it did blow off, no one heard a thing. But, uh, Parkman hadn't expected that Frost would have a knfe. LISBON: The wound looked to be minor, so Parkman put his gn back in his bag and he left Frost. JANE: Already Parkman was starting to panic. What happened in the car hadn't gone to plan. Nothing was going to plan. [Flashback to PARKMAN in the elevator pushing past the kid] TOURIST: Whoa! What the heck! [Present day] JANE: And when you arrived, Parkman was trying to figure out what to do with the gn. LISBON:.The window was his only chance. He couldn't just throw it out there, though. JANE: No. It would end up right down there in the street. But... if he could just get it... a little... further. Just that little... bit... further. [While speaking Jane fixes the elastic to each side of the window then uses it to catapult the hotel's TV remote control. A flashback shows PARKMAN doing exactly the same thing with the gn] [Exterior: in the alley the remote control smashes a window behind RIGSBY and CHO then clatters to the ground.] RIGSBY: What the hell? [CHO searches for whatever broke the window] LISBON (VO]: When the gn landed on the ground in the alley, it went off. That was the gnshot that witnesses heard. CHO: TV remote. [interior: hotel room. JANE picks an apple out of a fruit basket and also catapults it during his dialogue] JANE: Very likely we'll find a bllet hole somewhere in the alley. HOTEL SECURITY: But who klled Parkman? Where'd all the blod come from? LISBON: Uh, when Parkman pulled on the elastic... his aorta—it ruptured. [Flashback shows PARKMAN collapsing and knocking a lamp over after catapulting the gn] JANE: Fore! [Catapults apple] [Exterior: the apple splats on the alley wall.] RIGSBY: What the hell? [Flashback] PARKMAN: Help. He sab me. HOTEL SECURITY: So you're telling me that nobody came in or out of the room. It was just Mr. Parkman the whole time? JANE: Yeah. The trick was that there was no trick. Et voilà. ACT 5 [Interior: CBI offices] COOPER: Good-bye, Agent Lisbon, Mr. Jane. I hope you won't be insulted when I say that I hope I won't be seeing you again. JANE: Oh, we won't be. COOPER: I'm sure Mr. Haffner would say thank you if he were here. LISBON: Where is he? It's not like him to leave without one last barbed compliment. COOPER: Oh, he had some business to attend to. I am not his only client. I was hoping your office could be discreet. You know what I mean. LISBON: Yes. [COOPER enters elevator, JANE follows and holds the door] JANE: Speaking... of discreet, it was stupid of you to try and bug the CBI. COOPER: What are you talking about? JANE: Hiring someone outside Visualize might have made you feel safe, but she admitted that you hired her. Agent Cho told me. COOPER: (Sighs) I don't know what you're talking about. But all I can say is that if someone did bug you, it wasn't me. Good-bye, Agent Lisbon. [As the elevator doors close on COOPER we see JANE is deep in thought] LISBON: Jane? Are you okay? JANE: Grace needs to trace this immediately. LISBON: Why? What's going on? JANE: Cooper wasn't lying. He didn't bug the CBI. LISBON: Well, who did? JANE: Red John. We need to find Kira Tinsley. She either works for Red John, or she's about to become his next vctim. [Exterior: a car is driving through the city. Scene cuts between the car, the CBI office and TINSLEY at home: JANE and LISBON keep in touch via police radio with the rest of the team as they drive] RIGSBY (VO ): She's in the north section of the city, boss. Van Pelt's working on the address. CHO: No answer on her cell, and the landline's busy. RIGSBY: Yeah, we know. TINSLEY [on phone, the team listen in via VAN PELT's computer]: Yeah, you say 9:00 to 6:00, and then you never even show up. VAN PELT: Almost got it. TINSLEY: No. I paid my cleaning lady to stay here all day to let the guy in, and then he never came. VAN PELT: Okay. RIGSBY: 1065 Oak Terrace. LISBON: We're on Douglas, headed toward Folsom. TINSLEY: Yeah. No, I want my cable fixed now, tonight, or I'm gonna— [Doorbell rings] TINSLEY: Uh. Yeah, hold on a second. Somebody's here. CHO [On a different phone]: I need SAC P.D. to 1065 Oak Terrace fast as they can. [Doorbell rings twice] TINSLEY: Okay, I'm coming! TINSLEY: Oh, hi. RIGSBY: Okay, you're about ten minutes away. We'll direct you. JANE: Could you drive faster? [TINSLEY gasps in pain over computer speaker] [LISBON switches on the flashing lights and siren on her car] RIGSBY: Boss, you're gonna want to take the next left... And then a right on El Camino. [TINSLEY struggles unsuccessfully against an unseen assailant as LISBON races to her home. (Tires screeching) (Screaming over radio) (Pained gasps)] CHO: Got a patrol car six blocks away. [The patrol car is also racing to the scene. We see TINSLEY, mouth blody, trying to fight off her attacker. The patrol car arrives first and a uniformed officer enters TINSLEY's house as CHO hangs up the phone] CHO: SAC P.D.'s on scene. [TINSLEY is alone on the floor, gasping for breath, clutching her bleding abdomen] UNIFORMED OFFICER: Come on. Oh, come on, stay with me. Stay with me. You're gonna be okay. Come on, stay with me. RIGSBY: Right on El Camino, boss. LISBON: Damn it. JANE: Just drive, Lisbon. UNIFORMED OFFICER [on police radio]: I need E.M.T.s. I need medical assistance immediately. [LISBON finally pulls up. JANE is out of the car and running to the house even before it stops] UNIFORMED OFFICER: Now look at me. You're gonna be fine, okay? They're on their way. Wait— where are the E.M.T.s? We need E.M.T.s! [His last words are to JANE, who is crouching to talk to TINSLEY] JANE: I'm CBI. Who did this to you? [TINSLEY gasps and coughs] JANE: Tell me. [JANE has to lean his ear next to TINSLEY's mouth to hear her. As she speaks, she paints three dots in her own bld on her upper arm] TINSLEY [Faintly]: Tattoo... Tattoo on his left arm. [It is the last thing TINSLEY ever does. JANE, in a casual gesture, smears the dots of bld. LISBON arrives in the room to see JANE kneeling beside her body] [Scene: outside TINSLEY's home, JANE is wiping her bl*d from his hand. LISBON approaches from the house] LISBON: What did she say? JANE: She told me Red John has a tattoo on his left shoulder. Three dots. That's my leverage. I got him.	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "06x05 - The Red Tattoo"}	foreverdreaming
06x06 – fre And Brimstone Original Air Date on November 3, 2013 Updated by MaggieMay19: added character names to the dialogue, added descriptions of the scenes VO: Previously on "The Mentalist"... [From 06x05 The Red Tattoo] JANE: We need to find Kira Tinsley. She either works for Red John, or she's about to become his next victim. [KIRA TINSLEY answers her front door and an unseen person attcks her. She struggles, fighting back. LISBON and JANE race to the scene. JANE leaps from LISBON’s car as it pulls up to the house but they are too late. TINSLEY has been sab and her attacker has fled. JANE approaches a dying Tinsley.] JANE: Who did this to you? Tell me. [Tinsley is unable to speak, but draws three dots on her bare shoulder in her own blood before she dies.] LISBON: Jane, what did she say? JANE: She told me Red John has a tattoo on his left shoulder— three dots. That's my leverage. ACT 1 [Present. JANE is driving alone at night. He passes a road sign that reads Malibu Bluffs – he is near his house. He pulls into a driveway] CAPTION: Jane Family Residence, Malibu, California [JANE stops the car outside the house, picks up a long cardboard tube from the passenger seat and walks along a path and enters the office in the guest house at the rear of the property. It looks abandoned, the furniture covered with dust sheets. Jane opens the end of the cardboard tube and removes a gn, placing it on the desk. His cell phone rings. JANE answers it.] LISBON (VO): Jane. JANE: Hello, Lisbon. LISBON (VO): Jane, don't do this, not without me. JANE: Listen, I'm sorry. LISBON (VO): Jane, I am begging you. You're in danger! JANE: I-it's gonna be okay. I-I'm gonna be okay. LISBON (VO): No, you're not. You do this, and you're throwing your life away. JANE: Bye, Lisbon. LISBON: [As JANE hangs up the cellphone] Jane! No! [JANE puts the cellphone away and lifts the dust cover on his desk. He opens a wooden case and removes a gn from it. He releases the clip, checks it is fully loaded, replaces it in the gn and tucks the loaded pstol into his waistband. He replaces the dust sheet then spends some time positioning the gn leaning up behind the desk, making sure it is concealed but the muzzle is in the exact place that he wants. He pauses, looking apprehensive and taking a deep breath. There is the sound of a vehicle approaching outside. As we hear a person approaching the door, whistling ‘Clementine’, JANE moves to stand near the door, nonchalantly leaning against a wall. The shadow of the person outside can be seen through the opaque glass of the door and the doorhandle turns. JANE’s expression changes to eagerness as we cut to the credits] ♪ The Mentalist by Bruno Heller ♪ CAPTION: Two Days Earlier CAPTION: Tuesday [SCENE: in JANE’s attic room at the CBI. JANE is sitting with LISBON, CHO, RIGSBY and VAN PELT also present – this is a secret meeting of the team] CHO: A tattoo? JANE: Yes. VAN PELT: That we can use to identify Red John? JANE: Yes. RIGSBY: That's great. So all we have to do is check each one of the suspects one by one until we find out who has the tattoo. JANE: No. RIGSBY: Why not? JANE: Red John doesn't know I know about the tattoo. RIGSBY: Okay. JANE: So if we start checking suspects, it's very likely that Red John will find out. LISBON: And disappear before we have a chance of getting him. JANE: Exactly. CHO: Then what do you want to do? JANE: Gather all five suspects together at the same place, same time, and then start checking for the tattoo. CHO: And how do we do that? JANE: We'll ask them. CHO: And you think they'll agree? JANE: Wasn't planning on giving them a choice. VAN PELT: (Sighs) Even so, there's a problem. Bret Stiles—he's wanted by the F.B.I. In connection to two homicides. RIGSBY: Yeah. Cold cases from over 20 years ago. LISBON: You're kidding. After all this time, the F.B.I. is moving in now? RIGSBY: Well, they must have found something new— forensics, a witness. LISBON: Well, where's Stiles? VAN PELT: Well, that's the thing. Nobody knows, not even the F.B.I. Stiles disappeared weeks ago. LISBON: We'll find him. RIGSBY: How? LISBON: I don't know, but we'll find him. We have to. [JANE and LISBON are talking as they descend the stairs from the attic room] LISBON: I'm on board with your plan. JANE: Good. LISBON: On one condition. I want to be there when you reveal Red John. JANE: Okay. LISBON: Seriously. JANE: I said okay. LISBON: Yeah, but you didn't mean it. JANE: Did I not? Uh, how can you tell? LISBON: This is non-negotiable, Jane. JANE: I agree 100%. [SCENE: the interrogation room. JASON COOPER from Visualise is being questioned by CHO and RIGSBY] COOPER: I think I've made myself clear, agents. I have no knowledge of Bret Stiles' whereabouts. RIGSBY: Yes, Mr Cooper. And we've made it clear that we're not buying it. CHO: Stiles leaves you in charge of Visualize, but he keeps you in the dark about where he's hiding? Doesn't make sense. COOPER: Stiles has and always will put the church's needs before his own. This time is no different. He doesn't want me to know because he wants to protect me. CHO: And because he doesn't want to be found. COOPER: I doubt Bret Stiles is worried about being found. CHO: You seem confident. COOPER: Call it faith. You see, Stiles' time in our... reality is limited. RIGSBY: Huh? COOPER: As we speak, he's preparing his mind and body for a departure from the confines of our material world. RIGSBY: He's dying? COOPER: That is a very naive, very ignorant way of looking at it. Bret Stiles is not dying. Bret Stiles cannot die. He is elevating himself to another plane, one lesser men like ourselves can only strive to reach. And one some of us obviously can't comprehend. [SCENE: a multi-storey car park. A dad man, his body riddled with bllet holes, is hanging by the neck several storeys up. FBI Agent Smith is standing behind, contemplating it as a colleague walks up, bringing two cups of coffee] RUSSEL: Coffee—one cream, one sugar. SMITH: Thanks, Russell. RUSSEL: Forensics is here when you're ready. SMITH: Send them over. Get his I.D. for me, will you? You know how I am about heights. RUSSEL: Sure. Oh, and, uh, someone's here to see you. SMITH: Thanks. JANE: There's been a breakthrough in the Red John investigation. I have some new information. Some very significant information. SMITH: Okay. What is it? JANE: No, no. Not yet. I'm not sure who I can trust. I'm not even sure I can trust you. Red John has some very powerful allies. SMITH: Patrick, come on. JANE: Okay, but not here. Meet me at 8:00 on Thursday night. SMITH: Thursday? Why? JANE: I need time to find a safe place to meet. SMITH: Fine. Where? JANE: I'll let you know the day of. SMITH: This is crazy. JANE: I've made the mistake of underestimating Red John a number of times now. I don't want to make that mistake again. If you want the information, it's on my terms. SMITH: Okay. Thursday night. {SCENE: night. SHERIFF MCALLISTER is watching something from the window of his squad car. He hears a noise and takes a rfle from next to him, and we see he is hunting a stag. He takes aim but his cellphone rings before he can sht. He puts the gn away and answers] MCALLISTER: This is Sheriff McAllister. [JANE is calling MCALLISTER from his attic room. The scene cuts between them] JANE: Sheriff? Patrick Jane. MCALLISTER: Hello, Patrick. How are things? JANE: Good. Good. I'm calling because I had a question. MCALLISTER: sh*t. JANE: Last month when I was in Napa, you said that you were at my disposal. MCALLISTER: Yes, I remember. JANE: Did you mean what you said? MCALLISTER: I like to think I'm a man of my word. JANE: Oh, I don't doubt it. But can I count on you for your help? Can I count on you? MCALLISTER: Of course. JANE: Thursday night at 8:00 I'll need your help. MCALLISTER: Well, then you've got it. JANE: Thank you. I'll let you know where to be the day of. MCALLISTER: Patrick? JANE: Yeah? MCALLISTER: This is about Red John, isn't it? JANE: Thursday night. [SCENE: An antechamber. BRET STILES, dressed in pope-like white robes, is sitting and waiting. An acolyte, EVELYN, approaches] EVELYN: They're ready for you, sir. STILES: Thank you, Evelyn. EVELYN: Also, this came for you. [EVELYN, proffers an envelope on a silver tray] STILES: Hmm? [STILES opens the envelope, we see the note reads PATRICK JANE IS LOOKING FOR YOU. STILES sighs, rises and approaches closed double doors. They are opened for him by two female acolytes also in white robes, but much simpler than those worn by STILES. A bell tolls quietly in the background, otherwise there is silence as we see STILES has entered a much larger, grander-looking room. It is full of disciples: those in red surround a raised circular dais in the middle of the room on which is a podium and a golden chalice, others in dressed in black stand further away – clearly this is a Visualise ceremony, and only a few dozen Visualise members are present. STILES and the women dressed in white climb onto the dais. One kneels and disrobes – she is now naked. STILES pours a liquid that greatly resembles blood from the chalice onto her shoulders. The other acolyte also kneels but remains clothed: STILES paints her face with the liquid from the chalice.] STILES: You are here tonight to witness my ascension. My ascension from this world to a world beyond. Do not mourn me, my children, for this is not a passing, but a departure. And I promise... I... will... return! [Cheers and applause from the crowd. The bloodstained acolytes look at STILES admiringly] ACT 2 CAPTION: Wednesday [SCENE: Daytime. RAY HAFFNER, on his cellphone, gets out of his car and approaches a diner, entering it as he finishes his conversation and hangs up] HAFFNER (on cellphone): Listen to me, Don, you don't have a mistress. You have a vindictive screwball who's about to ruin your life… Yes, well, it's very lucky for you my job is to fix problems, so here's what you're gonna do… You are gonna write her a check— it is gonna be a a very big check— and then you are gonna pray that this problem goes away… If it doesn't, don't worry, Don… There are plenty of ways to keep a woman quiet… Okay? All right… I gotta go. All right. [HAFFNER crosses the diner and sits at a booth where LISBON is already sitting] HAFFNER: Hello. LISBON: You're late. HAFFNER: It's good to see you, too, Teresa. [to waitress] Uh, excuse me, can I get coffee, black, please? Thanks. [to LISBON] So why am I here at 8:00 a.m.? LISBON: I need help with an investigation. HAFFNER: What investigation? LISBON: It's not important. HAFFNER: Really? It is if you want my help. LISBON: I can't tell you. HAFFNER: Come on, Teresa. I know you better than that. What, you and Jane got something going on with the Red John case? LISBON: Maybe. HAFFNER: "Maybe." Yeah, right. (Inhales sharply) What is with all the secrecy? Seriously, why are you always holding out on me? You don't think I'm Red John, do you? You do, don't you? Tell you what. You want to question me, you arrest me. Otherwise, you leave me the hell out of this. LISBON: Sit down. Sit. If asking's not gonna work, I won't ask. You're no longer with the CBI. You don't get the same protection law enforcement gets. HAFFNER: What, you thrat me? LISBON: No, Jane is. He wants to see you tomorrow night. If you don't show up, he will assume you are Red John. And, Ray, he will come after you. HAFFNER: You gotta be kidding me. LISBON: You know Jane. You know what happened to him. You know what Red John did to him. If I were you, I wouldn't test him. HAFFNER: I'm not afraid of Patrick Jane. LISBON: Well, what's the problem with showing up? HAFFNER: If I do this, will you and Jane drop the whole that "I'm Red John" business? LISBON: For once and for all. HAFFNER: What time? LISBON: 8:00. [HAFFNER turns as if to leave] I'm not done. There's one more thing that I ned. HAFFNER: (Sighs) You're klling me here. LISBON: Stiles. HAFFNER: Yeah? LISBON: Where is he? HAFFNER: I can't help you. LISBON: Come on, Ray, you've been with Visualize for years. I don't want to arrest him. I just want to talk to him. You do this, and I will owe you. And in your line of work, sooner or later you're gonna need a favor. [SCENE: LISBON is walking to her car. VAN PELT is at the CBI office. Scene cuts between the two as they talk on the phone] LISBON [on cellphone]: So Ray Haffner told me that Stiles uses a private jet to move around the country undetected. Belongs to a guy named Ryan Parks. VAN PELT [on cellphone]: Parks. Got it. I'll check it out. LISBON: Has Jane been in yet? VAN PELT: No, I haven't heard from him. [SCENE: JANE is at an anonymous-looking apartment complex. He climbs some stairs and knocks at a door. A man opens the door, checks JANE is alone and shakes his hand before inviting him inside. JANE also checks behind to see if anyone is there before he goes inside] CAPTION: Palo Alto Airport, Palo Alto, California [SCENE: A small airport with private jets and other small aircraft, a man with a clipboard is chatting with another man who then leaves. RIGSBY and CHO approach] CHO: Mr. Lamotte? LAMOTTE: Yeah? Can I help you? CHO: Agents Cho and Rigsby from the CBI. We were wondering if you could answer a few questions for us. LAMOTTE: Sure. RIGSBY: A G6 landed here late last night, tail number N550MT. It would have been around 11:00. LAMOTTE: I remember. What about it? RIGSBY: Do you know who was on the flight? LAMOTTE: No. Private aircraft aren't required to provide passenger manifests. CHO: Did you happen to see anyone who was getting off the plane? LAMOTTE: No. Sorry. Oh, but whoever it was had a car service pick him up. They might be able to help you. RIGSBY: You don't happen to have the name of that car service, by any chance? LAMOTTE: Yes I do. [SCENE: LISBON, RIGSBY and VAN PELT are sitting at a table in the CBI bullpen] LISBON: So what happened with the car service? RIGSBY: Well, they said that they picked up a silver-haired man with a British accent from the airport last night. LISBON: Stiles. VAN PELT: We think so. LISBON: Well, where'd he go? RIGSBY: The address was for the Ecuadorian consulate in San Francisco. LISBON: Good job. You two go and check it out. You know what? Van Pelt, why don't you go alone? Stiles likes you. Maybe we can use that to our advantage. Is... there a problem? VAN PELT: Uh, no. RIGSBY: No. VAN PELT: I'll be fine. RIGSBY: I know. VAN PELT: It's my job. RIGSBY: I know. [VAN PELT stands] Hey. I love you. VAN PELT: I know. [SCENE: JANE is leaving the apartment. He once again shakes the man’s hand, and we see he is now carrying the cardboard tube from the opening of the episode. JANE has just bought the gn from this man, who does not appear to be a licenced gn dealer! As he leaves his cellphone rings, and he answers as he goes back to his car] JANE: Hey, Lisbon. [LISBON is calling from her desk at the CBI office. Scene cuts between the two] LISBON: Where are you? JANE: Oh, just running some errands. LISBON: Everything okay? JANE: Yeah, right as rain. What's up? LISBON: Haffner's in. JANE: Good. What about Stiles? LISBON: Van Pelt may have a bead on his location. She's checking it out now. That leaves one more Red John suspect left to talk to. JANE: Yes. Bertram. I'm on my way to his office. You want to meet me there? LISBON: All right. (Line clicks, snaps phone shut) CAPTION: Ecuadorean Consulate, San Francisco, California [SCENE: A large, opulent room: wood panelled walls, elegant furniture. STILES walks through, arms wide, welcoming] STILES: Grace Van Pelt. Well... how lovely to see you again. [He shakes her hand and kisses her on both cheeks] Mmm. Wow. Well... so, please sit. What do I owe this pleasure? VAN PELT: Jane. He needs a favor. STILES: Oh. Clever, him, sending you. So exactly what can I do for Patrick Jane? VAN PELT: He would like to meet with you. Tomorrow night at 8:00. STILES: You've changed since we last met. You're married. VAN PELT: Yes. STILES: Oh, don't tell me you married that genial oaf. Oh. Oh, well. (Chuckles) Congratulations. VAN PELT: Yeah. Thank you. So... will you meet with Jane? STILES: Ah... you know, nothing would please me more than to meet with him. I mean, really, I would love to. But... (Inhales sharply) Unfortunately, my circumstances— it's probably not gonna happen. VAN PELT: You mean because of the F.B.I.? STILES: Mm. You have been doing your homework. (Chuckles) VAN PELT: They don't know I'm here. STILES: Ah. VAN PELT: Which means they don't know you're here. But they will if you don't agree to meet with Jane. STILES: You have changed, haven't you? Have you ever been to Ecuador, by any chance? VAN PELT: No. STILES: Oh. I was there—oh, God, years and years ago doing missionary work. Uh... Lovely people. Oh, yeah, but-but— there was a young man there... He was underprivileged, ferociously ambitious. I saw something in him. So I decided to try and help him. You know, I-I paid for his school fees, that sort of thing. N-nothing really much, but wouldn't you know it? All these years later, that same man is now minister of state. VAN PELT: I'm happy for him. STILES: Anyway, he invited me to stay in this palatial consulate. This morsel of foreign soil. Foreign soil, which, as you know, is outside the jurisdiction of you, the F.B.I., and all U.S. law enforcement. So, you see, Gracie, your idle thrat are just that. Well, it's been so lovely seeing you again. (Clears throat) Please give my best to Mr. Jane. (Chuckles) Close the door on your way out! (Chuckles) [SCENE: JANE and LISBON are walking towards BRTRAM’s office] JANE: It's gonna be fine. LISBON: Thanks. I feel a lot better. [Knocks on door] BERTRAM: Come on in. LISBON: We've made a breakthrough, sir. BERTRAM: In... LISBON: The Red John case. JANE: We're close to identifying him. BERTRAM: Well, then this is fantastic news. (Chuckles) After all these years. Y-you— you really think you've got him? JANE: I do. BERTRAM: I'll know the second you have something concrete. LISBON: You will, sir. BERTRAM: And I want to be there when you end this. JANE: I was hoping you'd say that. [SCENE: the meeting has ended and JANE and LISBON leave BERTRAM’s office. BERTRAM checks the doorway a moment later to make sure they have truly left, then he closes his door. Whistling as he walks back though his office, he dials someone on his cellphone] BERTRAM: Yeah, it's me. I just had a very interesting conversation with Patrick Jane. [SCENE: CBI bullpen. RIGSBY and VAN PELT are standing, LISBON enters the bullpen] RIGSBY: How'd it go with Bertram? LISBON: He's in. What about Stiles? RIGSBY: Not so good. LISBON: Did you find him? VAN PELT: Yes. LISBON: Then what's the problem? [SCENE: Nighttime. JANE and LISBON are in the CBI attic room] LISBON: He's at the Ecuadorian consulate. As long as he's there, we can't touch him. What do you want to do? JANE: I'll handle Stiles. LISBON: He's not gonna come with you. He doesn't have to. JANE: I'll be persuasive. [LISBON indicates the cardboard tube that is resting on the table against which JANE is leaning] LISBON: What is that? [JANE opens the tube and shows LISBON the barrel of the gn he just bought while ‘running errands’] LISBON: A gn! You sure it's big enough? [JANE looks slightly shamefaced but says nothing as he fastens up the cardboard cylinder again. Lisbon also looking uncomfortable, changes the subject] LISBON: We need to talk about tomorrow night. JANE: I've already told you. LISBON: Just hear me out, please. You don't want me to be there. JANE: No, I don't. LISBON: You don't want LISBON: to be there because you think I'm gonna try and stop you from klling Red John. JANE: Are you saying that you won't? LISBON: What I'm saying is some men— men like Red John— they don't deserve a trial. They don't deserve a jury. They deserve what they have coming to them. JANE: Wait, l-let me get this straight. After close to 20 years working in law enforcement, you're just— you're changing your mind? LISBON: About Red John? Yes. JANE: I'm surprised, Lisbon. LISBON: What, you don't believe me? JANE: Heavens, no. You're the most honest person I know. You would never lie, not about something like this. Right? LISBON: Right. JANE: Tomorrow night then. LISBON: Tomorrow night. ACT 3 CAPTION: Thursday [SCENE: JANE is shown into the opulent room at the Ecuadorean Consulate. STILES is still there. STILES: Patrick, dear boy. Well, how are you? JANE: Well, I'm not your boy. STILES: Oh, I see. So this is not a social meeting, eh? JANE: You're gonna meet me tonight at 8:00. STILES: Patrick— JANE: No, you listen to me. You're gonna meet me tonight at 8:00, or I'm gonna come back here, and when I do, you will need more than these walls to keep you safe. STILES: thrat? Oh. That's so out of character. JANE: I mean every word of it. STILES: Yes. I believe you do. But you see, Patrick, a dying man does not fear death. JANE: Oh, please. This charade might work on your disciples. It doesn't work on me. STILES: You think too highly of me. Unfortunately, it's not a charade. JANE: How long have you got? STILES: It's spread to the blood. There's nothing they can do. I don't know... Two weeks, a month. You see... It's not personal. It's just that... My time now is very precious. JANE: I'm still gonna need you tonight. STILES: For God sake, why? What's so damned important? JANE: Red John. I'm close. (Exhales) Closer than I've ever been. (Chuckles softly) STILES: Red John... Look... Nothing would give me more pleasure than to be with you there tonight. JANE: But? STILES: There's more to this than you know. There's—there's more keeping me here. JANE: The F.B.I.? STILES: Yeah, as a matter of fact. You know, they tracked me here. They're just waiting for me to leave so they can arrest me. Look, I'm not choosing to stay here, but I'm trapped. JANE: So the F.B.I.'s the only thing that's keeping you here? [SCENE: outside the Consulate. Someone unseen gets into a limousine with blacked-out windows. We hear the FBI’s radio communication] FIRST FBI AGENT [VO on radio]: Eyes up. We've got movement at the front entrance. That's a Visualize car. I think they're sneaking someone out. SECOND FBI AGENT [VO on radio]: Get ready to move. FIRST FBI AGENT [VO on radio]: Go now! Go, go, go! [The limo pulls out and is chased by two unmarked FBI cars. One overtakes and skids to a halt in front of the limo as the other pulls in behind, forcing it to stop. Three armed FBI agents leap from the two vehicles, aiming at the doors of the limo and calling out to its occupants. FBI #1: Don't move! FBI #2: Don’t move! FBI #1: Hands on the steering wheel! [Agent #3 opens the rear door of the limo and points his gn at the occupant] FBI #3: Keep your hands where we can see 'em. JANE: Hello, gentlemen. Something I can help you with? [Meanwhile STILES and a bodyguard leave the Consulate by a service door. They approach a florist’s van which is full of flowers but also has a small padded seat. STILES enters the van and the bodyguard slides the van door closed. It drives away, unregarded] [SCENE: Lisbon opens the door to JANE’s attic room at the CBI. JANE is sitting at his table in the window, typing at his cellphone] JANE: Stiles is in. LISBON: We'd better get going. We've got a long drive ahead of us. [SCENE: FBI Agent SMITH gets a handcuffed man out of a car. He hands him over to another man] SMITH: [to prisoner] Come on! [to FBI agent] Take him. [SMITH’s phone beeps. He reads the text JANE has just sent, which says “Meet me at 8pm 1309 Cedar St. Malibu USE SERVICE ROAD”] [Cut back to JANE, sending a message on his phone and leaving the attic room and taking the gn in the cardboard tube with him. Scene cuts to SHERIFF MCALLISTER is walking along a street, he receives JANE’s message and stops to read it] [Still at the CBI JANE sends another message. Cut to Haffner, sitting in a bar. He receives and reads JANE’s message.] [JANE sends another message, cut to BERTRAM on the desk phone in his office] BERTRAM: Well, then SAC P.D.'s just gonna have to wait… Look, I-I don't wanna pull rank... [A cell phone which is sitting on BERTRAM’s desk vibrates] But I will. [it vibrates again. BERTRAM reads JANE’s message] Kevin, I gotta call you back. [JANE sends the message yet again. This time we cut to STILES, still sitting in the back of the van surrounded by flowers. He reads the message and leans forward to speak to the van driver] STILES: I'll be needing a car. [Back with Jane – that was the last message. He puts his phone away and he and LISBON leave the attic room, closing the door behind them] [SCENE: in JANE’s car, driving down to Malibu. The ocean is visible on the far side of the highway. Jane pulls over into a car park] LISBON: What are we doing? JANE: I want to see the sunset. [JANE gets out of the car and walks to the top of the trail that leads down to the beach. LISBON follows] JANE: There's something I want to tell you, Lisbon. Something I should have said a long time ago. I want to thank you for everything that you've done. LISBON: You can thank me later. JANE: No, I... I need to say this now. You have... No idea what you've meant to me. What you mean to me. Thank you. [They hug] JANE: I almost forgot. I have a surprise for you. Wait here. [JANE runs back to the car and gets in. Lisbon hears the engine start but it is too late, JANE is gone] LISBON: Jane? Jane! [As JANE drives away he places LISBON’s cell phone, which he stole from her pocket as they hugged, on the passenger seat next to his own phone. He drives away as the sun goes down and the sky gets darker] [SCENE: Night time. JANE pulls his car into the driveway from the opening scene of the episode] CAPTION: Jane Family Residence, Malibu, California [JANE sits collecting his thoughts for a moment in his car before he gets out, taking the cardboard tube with him. He enters his empty home and takes a look around] [Meanwhile LISBON is trying to flag down a passing vehicle from the roadside where Jane abandoned her] LISBON: Hello! Hey! [The vehicle doesn’t stop. She begins walking] [JANE climbs the stairs to the bedroom where his wife and daughter were klled. Jane looks at the Red John smiley face that is still visible on the wall then takes a deep breath with his eyes closed, as if steeling himself to the act of klling Red John. He then exits and locks up the house. He walks along the path towards the office in the guest house, as we saw him do at the start of the episode, enters the office and takes the gn out of the cardboard tube] [Switch to LISBON successfully flagging down a car] LISBON: Hey! Stop! Police! [The car stops and the driver winds down the window] LISBON: My name is Teresa Lisbon. I am an agent with the California Bureau of Investigation, and I need to borrow your car. It's an emergency. DRIVER: What?! No way. LISBON: Get out. Now. Come on. Come on. DRIVER: This is outrageous. I'm calling the police. LISBON: Good idea. Thanks. [LISBON gets into his car and before she drives away she takes his cell phone too] DRIVER: Wh—hey! [Switch to JANE, His cell phone rings. We switch between JANE in the office and LISBON speaking on the cell phone as she drives to the JANE home] LISBON: Jane. JANE: Hello, Lisbon. LISBON: Jane, don't do this, not without me. JANE: Listen, I'm sorry. LISBON: Jane, I am begging you. You're in danger! JANE: I-it's gonna be okay. I-I'm gonna be okay. LISBON: No, you're not. You do this, and you're throwing your life away. JANE: Bye, Lisbon. LISBON: Jane... No. [JANE hangs up and switches off his cell phone. He opens the office safe and takes out the box containing the gn. He stows it in his waistband and arranges the gn as we saw before. The car pulls up, a whistling person approaches, the door handle turns and STILES enters] STILES: Oh. Hello, Patrick. Am I early? JANE: No, no. Right on time. Have a seat. [Through the window we see other vehicles arriving.] ACT 4 [LISBON is driving in the car she requisitioned. She dials a number on the cell phone] WOMAN [VO]: 9-1-1. What's your emergency? LISBON: This is Agent Teresa Lisbon with the California Bureau of Investigation. I need officers at 1309 Cedar Street in Malibu. I have an agent who needs immediate assistance. SCENE: in JANE’s office the five suspects are sitting on the sofa that is still covered in a dust sheet] JANE: I brought you five together for a reason. Some of you may know that reason. Some of you may have guessed. But one of you here... is Red John. SMITH: What? ! One of us? STILES: One of us here is Red John? Well, that's very interesting. BERTRAM: Who is it? JANE: I don't know. And that's what we're gonna find out. SMITH: Wait, you're trying to say that one of us in this room... Is a serial kller? JANE: I know it. HAFFNER: No, this is crazy. JANE: I can assure you it's not. HAFFNER: Well, I can assure you I'm not sticking around for this crap. [JANE moves very quickly to seize the gn and pump it to load the shell into the chamber] JANE: Sit down. Do not move toward the door. No one is leaving. MCALLISTER: Take it easy, Patrick. JANE: Do I look distressed? [SMITH tries to reach for his service gn. JANE turns the barrel of his gn on him] Don't. I will sht you. That goes for the rest of you as well. Take out your wapon slowly, place them on the floor, and push them toward me. [All those who are armed – HAFFNER, MCALLISTER, SMITH and BERTRAM – slowly obey. STILES opens his jacket to show that he is unarmed] JANE: Thank you. Thank you. [JANE kicks all the gn out of reach] BERTRAM: Okay, Patrick. This is... This is enough. It's gone far enough. JANE: No, we're just getting started. I've waited ten years for this moment. All those years, Red John has been smart. One of you has been smart. Careful. But not this time. This time, you made a mistake. Kira Tinsley told me something before she passed. She told me that her kller— Red John— has a tattoo. Three dots on his left arm. On his shoulder. And you all... Are gonna show me... Now. Let's go. Come on. That's it. Take it off. SMITH: Nonsense. JANE: Very good. [Neither HAFFNER nor STILES have a tattoo. MCALLISTER is next, and he has the three dot tattoo. JANE points the gn at him] MCALLISTER: It's not what you think. You got it wrong. I'm not Red John. STILES: Patrick, wait. Patrick! Look... here. Look! [Behind JANE, both SMITH and BERTRAM are similarly tattooed with three dots to the shoulder] JANE [to MCALLISTER]: On your feet. Over with those two. [as MCALLISTER crosses the room to stand beside SMITH and BERTRAM, HAFFNER attempts to stand] JANE [to HAFFNER]: You stay there. [to the three tattooed men] Okay, you three... Over against that wall— now. [We switch to the view from outside looking into the office through the windows] MAN’S VOICE: Wait! No! [A bright flash, accompanied by a loud bang, is seen through the windows of the office. Scene changes to LISBON who is driving recklessly as she races to the JANE residence. She pulls into the driveway and runs to the main house – to find the door is locked] LISBON: Jane! [LISBON checks through the windows but the main house is dark. She runs along the path to the guest house, whose windows are lit up but curtained. As she approaches a large explsin tears through the guest house, throwing LISBON to the ground, blwing out all the windows, showering the vehicles parked outside with debris and setting the entire guest house on f*re] LISBON: Aah! Aah! [LISBON struggles into a sitting position but all she can see are flames pouring out of the ruined guest house]	{"type": "series", "show": "The Mentalist", "episode": "06x06 - f*re and Brimstone"}	foreverdreaming
Pika! HOOPA UNBOUND: HOOPA! HOOPA UNBOUND: Alahooparing! VILLAGER CROWD HOOPA UNBOUND: Alahooparing! HOOPA UNBOUND: Were you surprised? Why, Hoopa can do anything! VILLAGER CROWD HOOPA UNBOUND: See?! Hoopa is strong! HOOPA UNBOUND: Who might you be? TRAVELER: Light of confinement... Come forth now! NARRATOR: The incredible world of Pokémon! Brimming with the most remarkable and mysterious living things... NARRATOR: Filling the sky... NARRATOR: the oceans below... NARRATOR: and the towering mountains! GIRATINA NARRATOR: Dwelling in cities and towns... NARRATOR: There isn't a single part of the world where they can't be found! NARRATOR: And as many Pokémon as there are in this world, there are just as many dreams and adventures to explore! SOLROCK BARAZ: Now, Solrock...Flash, let's go! SOLROCK BARAZ: Time and sky... Nature... I ask you to listen to my words. And obey my command! Release the ancient bonds! ASH: Hold on! PIKACHU BONNIE: Look! Look! BONNIE: So many Pokémon! HIPPOPOTAS CLEMONT: Be careful, you two, that's dangerous. SERENA: Ta-da! SERENA: Ready to eat! SERENA: A special treat. Donut-shaped Poké Puffs! PANCHAM? ASH: Yeah! NARRATOR: As Ash continues his journey to become a Pokémon Master, he and his friends take time for some rest and relaxation at a Pokémon Center in the desert. ASH: Great! BONNIE: Yummy! SERENA: They're good, aren't they? Now how would you like to try some authentic donuts? ASH: Yeah, sure would! PIKACHU! SERENA: Now take a look at this! SERENA: Dahara City is close by, and their specialty is donuts! Don't they look delicious? BONNIE: Yeah. I wanna try them! SERENA: And, check this out! SERENA: It's a famous tourist spot dedicated to a Mythical Pokémon. ASH: Mythical Pokémon. Cool! CLEMONT: It sounds fascinating. ASH: Yeah, can't wait to see it! PIKACHU CLEMONT: To get to Dahara City, we'll have to cross the desert. SERENA: Let's go to the river and take a boat. BONNIE: A boat? What kind of boat?! BONNIE: Hey! When did Chespin learn Flamethrower? CLEMONT: Chespin's not able to do that! ASH: Then what? PIKACHU CLEMONT: Quick, you need water! SERENA: I think it bit into this Tamato Berry! BONNIE: Whoa, they're super hot! ASH: Is someone playing tricks? PIKACHU? ASH: Stop! HOOPA CONFINED: Alahooparing! ASH: Hey, where are we? ASH: Do you think we came through this? HOOPA CONFINED: Were you surprised?! ASH: I sure was! PIKACHU ASH: So who are you? HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa! ASH: Hoopa... ASH: Are you a Pokémon? ASH: Hey, what is it, Pikachu? PIKACHU ASH: It's Dahara City! PIKACHU ASH: So the ring did that? PIKACHU? HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa never saw one of those! ASH: Well this is Pikachu. PIKACHU HOOPA CONFINED: Pikan! ASH: No, it's not Pikan, it's Pikachu. ASH: And my name is Ash. HOOPA CONFINED: Ashkan! ASH: It's Ash. HOOPA CONFINED: It's Ashkan! ASH: No, it's Ash! HOOPA CONFINED: Pikan, Ashkan, Pikan, Ashkan, Pikan, Ashkan! ASH: You're kind of strange. PIKACHU? HOOPA CONFINED: Do you like Pikan? ASH: You mean Pikachu? Pikachu's my best friend! HOOPA CONFINED: Best friends, huh! HOOPA CONFINED: Look PIKACHU? HOOPA CONFINED: Alahooparing! HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa! Hoopa! Hoopa! Hoopa! PIKACHU LIBRE PIKACHU POP STAR PIKACHU ROCK STAR PIKACHU BELLE PIKACHU, PH.D. HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa! Hoopa! HOOPA CONFINED: Were you surprised? GENERIC PIKACHU? PIKACHU? HOOPA CONFINED: Ashkan, Ashkan! 'Kay, now which one's your Pika ASH: This one. HOOPA CONFINED: Awww Hoopa lost. HOOPA LOST! MERAY: Hoopa, what's all this? HOOPA CONFINED: Meray! ASH: Your Trainer? MERAY: What are all these Pikachu doing here? HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa ringed them here! MERAY: I told you not to do that, didn't I?! Send them back! Or you won't get your donut Do you understand? MERAY: Send them all back! ASH: All right, Hoopa, now! HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa!! PIKACHU! HOOPA CONFINED: Pikan, leave it up to Hoopa! PIKACHU! ASH: All right! HOOPA CONFINED: Let's go! Let's go! That's good! Let's go! All right! Let's go! ASH: Thanks, Pikachu. Good job! PIKACHU MERAY: Thank you very much. But--who are you two? ASH: I'm back BONNIE: It's ASH!! SERENA: Bonnie!! CLEMONT: Dahara City! BONNIE: But how?! ASH: It was this ring. It brought us here! HOOPA CONFINED: Were you surprised? Come on, were you surprised?! SERENA: Yeah, I sure was! BONNIE: A Pokémon? CLEMONT: I've never seen it before. ASH: See, its name is Hoopa. It tricked Chespin into eating a Tamato Berry as a prank. MERAY: I'm sorry you were startled. My name is Meray. I'm taking care of Hoopa. ASH: Oh man, I'm really thirsty. Whoa. CLEMONT: I'd really love a nice cool drink of water. BONNIE: Yeah! Water, please! HOOPA CONFINED: Okay! Water, water, water... HOOPA CONFINED: Water! Alahooparing!! HOOPA CONFINED: Lots of water! Lots of water! MERAY: That's too much! They only wanted a cup of water! SERENA: No! I'm soaking wet! BONNIE: Why did you do that? DEDENNE SERENA: Well, we were planning to go see Dahara Tower. MERAY: Oh. We're going, too! ASH: I know! CONFINED HOOPA: Let's go together! BONNIE: Okay, why don't we all travel by ring? CLEMONT: That's a great idea! PIKACHU BONNIE: Made it! HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa, too! MERAY: Hold on! ASH: Hoopa! You okay? MERAY: Hoopa! How could you forget?! SERENA: Guys! Something wrong? BONNIE: Hurry up already! PIKACHU MEOWTH: Well, lookie what we have here. The Twerp! JAMES: Accompanied by Pikachu! JESSIE: What Pokémon is that? Strange. MERAY: Unfortunately, Hoopa can't travel through its own ring just yet. ASH: Oh, I see. That's easy! We'll just walk! SERENA: This'll cheer you right up. Then we can go! HOOPA CONFINED: Wow, donuts! SERENA: Is it good? HOOPA CONFINED: It's so yummy! PIKACHU?! PIKACHU MERAY: You found it! It's the Prison Bottle! MERAY: What, what are you doing?! HOOPA UNBOUND: Hoopa!! BONNIE: Hoopa got really big! SERENA: It's huge! But why?! CLEMONT: Did Hoopa...evolve? MERAY: Oh no. This is Hoopa's true form. ASH: Its true form? MERAY: That's so great, Hoopa! You're back to normal! HOOPA UNBOUND: Yes, yes! This power! Hoopa is strong! JAMES: How are we going to catch that? JESSIE: It's that bottle we need! MEOWTH: Hey, I'm digging that. It could turn me into a super-powered-up jumbo-giant Meowth! MEOWTH JAMES: It's genius! JESSIE: A giant winner! MEOWTH: Tailor made for me. WOBBUFFET BARAZ: I found the bottle? MERAY: Yes. Should you have opened it here? BARAZ: Not sure. What's going on?! HOOPA UNBOUND: True power surges within! Hoopa is magnificent! BARAZ: It wants the Prison Bottle! ASH: Pikachu! Thunderbolt, let's go! JESSIE: Oh come ON!! BARAZ: Everyone out of the way! It's the bottle that Hoopa wants. MERAY: But Baraz BARAZ: It was too early. MERAY: Please let me do it! It was my plan in the first place! ASH: Hey, Hoopa! Hang in there! PIKACHU BARAZ: Don't touch it! BARAZ: The bottle contains something evil. BARAZ: I know because it took control of me. BARAZ: It's probably why Hoopa went on such a rampage. BARAZ: Touch it and it will take over your mind. MERAY: Oh no CLEMONT: All right then, the future is now, thanks to science! Clemontic Gear, on! CLEMONT: I call this my Fully atmatic Lifting Machine! See how well it works! CLEMONT: Complete success! SERENA: Way to go! ASH: Science is so amazing! BARAZ: I got you all mixed up in this. I'm sorry. ASH: It's Hoopa I'm worried about. It looks really tired. MERAY: Are you okay? Hoopa? HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa's afraid... BARAZ: It's all because of that bottle... HOOPA CONFINED: Disappear... MERAY: Disappear? HOOPA CONFINED: It's getting dark. So afraid. Hoopa is disappearing... MERAY: Oh no. Hoopa should rest. SERENA: Let's go to the Pokémon Center! MERAY: One thing MERAY: If Hoopa loses control again... The same thing that happened a hundred years ago will happen once more! ASH: A hundred years? BARAZ: Hoopa destroyed the city... a long time ago. BARAZ: It happened here Where we are now. Though Dahara City looked very different. BARAZ: Back then Dahara City was just a small village. BARAZ: One day, Hoopa emerged from its ring. BARAZ: Hoopa took the villagers' food. STORE PERSON: What are you doing?! You pay for that! HOOPA UNBOUND: Alahooparing!! MERAY: Hoopa wanted to offer the villagers something to pay them back. MERAY: Gold... showers and showers of pure gold. As a result, the town grew and prospered. BARAZ: They finally built a home for Hoopa. BARAZ: In return for food, Hoopa granted all the people's wishes. CLEMONT: Their wishes? BARAZ: Yes. VILLAGE MAN: Hey! You're pretty big and strong! But could you bat other Pokémon in a battle? HOOPA UNBOUND: Hoopa is strong! DRAGONITE BARAZ: Everybody cheered! BARAZ: But... BARAZ: Hoopa began to get carried away. BARAZ: It even began to summon Legendary Pokémon to test its strength against them in battle. BARAZ: It lost control. BARAZ: After that, something had to be done. So that bottle was used by our great-grandfather to seal off its power. MERAY: And that's why Hoopa looks like this now. HOOPA CONFINED: Are you surprised? MERAY: That's Dahara Tower. The Prison Bottle was made right where it now stands. CLEMONT: Your great- grandfather must have been an incredibly powerful man. BARAZ: Look at this shape. Does it remind you of anything? CLEMONT: I know! PIKACHU?! CLEMONT: Let me borrow this! DEDENNE BONNIE: What is it? CLEMONT: This is it! CLEMONT: The one they say shaped the world, the Alpha Pokémon, Arceus! SERENA: A Mythical Pokémon?! BARAZ: Right. Our ancestors were able to communicate with Arceus and they received power from it, too. BARAZ: And Great-Grandfather? He was able to master that power. BARAZ: Great-grandfather sealed away Hoopa's power in the bottle, and then returned back to his home with Hoopa. BARAZ: That was where we were born and raised. In Arche Valley. TRAVELER: Now this is where you're going to live. HOOPA CONFINED: Not Hoopa! TRAVELER: I already told you before. You are able to summon with your rings, but you cannot pass through them. HOOPA CONFINED: Give Hoopa's power back! Give it! Give it! Give it! Give it! TRAVELER: Until you understand why you have been confined, it will be impossible for you to pass through the ring. HOOPA CONFINED: Give it back. Right now! TRAVELER: The world does not belong to you alone. There is more to life than what you see. There is much more. BARAZ: You see, it was very hard for Hoopa to understand the meaning of its confinement. HOOPA CONFINED: Here. BARAZ: However... BARAZ: When we were born, we met Hoopaand became its good friends. BARAZ CHILD: Here. BARAZ: We played every day-- like brothers and sisters do. MERAY CHILD: Great-grandfather! TRAVELER: I'm glad you're here. BARAZ: We all tried to do the best we could! TRAVELER: And now you've returned here safe and sound. TRAVELER: I thank you. HOOPA CONFINED: But why? Why thank Hoopa? TRAVELER: Because... You're family, too. CLEMONT: So what are you going to do with the bottle? BARAZ: I'll take it back to Arche Valley. HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa scared! Bottle. Hoopa disappear! BARAZ: And that's exactly what I need to find out about. I have to! If I don't find the cause of this, you'll never go back to your true form! HOOPA CONFINED: Then Hoopa won't go back! ASH: Team Rocket! PIKACHU JESSIE: Here's the bottle JAMES: And a fine bottle it is as well! MEOWTH BARAZ: You mustn't touch that! MEOWTH: Guess you're a little late on that, pal MEOWTH JESSIE: You give us Pikachu and we'll give back your cute little bottle. JAMES: Hey. A deal? With them?! JESSIE: Once we get our gloves on Pikachu, we'll quietly get out of here! We'll take Pikachu and keep the bottle! JAMES: Slick! That should do the trick! JAMES: Meowth? HOOPA CONFINED: Help Hoopa! MEOWTH: Whawassat? What's up?! HOOPA CONFINED: No! No! Don't want to disappear! ASH: Hoopa! Don't give in! PIKACHU MERAY: Hoopa! BARAZ: Hoopa, no! BARAZ: The power It's trying to take Hoopa over! ASH: The power? CLEMONT: Wait. This power you speak of is Hoopa's true power that was sealed away long ago? BARAZ: That's right. And that power is still trying to control Hoopa! MERAY: Please stay strong, Hoopa! You can't give in! ASH: You can defeat it, Hoopa! ASH: Are you okay? HOOPA CONFINED: Ashkan... Hoopa did it. MERAY: The bottle! SERENA: Here... MERAY: What's that? BARAZ: The fury... ASH: The fury? BARAZ: The true form of the power that's trying to control Hoopa. The anger from being imprisoned for a hundred years. MERAY: Oh no, does that mean the anger was trying to take over the real Hoopa? Even though it was once Hoopa's own power?! BARAZ: The anger's trying to become the real Hoopa. Hoopa, yet not Hoopa. It's a shadow of Hoopa. MEOWTH: Something different about that lug. JAMES: Let's make it ours! ASH: Team Rocket! HOOPA UNBOUND: Hoopa!! BARAZ: Are you going to go wild? Like you did a hundred years ago?! HOOPA UNBOUND: Disappear! HOOPA CONFINED: No! Hoopa won't disappear! BARAZ: Braviary, go! BARAZ: Use Air Slash! PIKACHU: Huh? HOOPA CONFINED: Alahoopering! ASH: Lugia! Help us out, okay? BARAZ: We've gotta go now! ASH: You can do it, Lugia! BARAZ: Of course. Shunned by Hoopa, the shadow wanted freedom. So it destroyed the bottle. BARAZ: We need a new bottle. We can make another! MERAY: Another Prison Bottle? SERENA: Make another? BARAZ: Yes. With this, I can recreate it at Dahara Tower. MERAY: Our great-grandfather used ground, fre, and water, the three great forces of nature, to make the bottle. BARAZ: Right. So as long as we have those three types of Pokémon, I think together we'll be able to make the Prison Bottle again. ASH: For waterpower, I've got Frogadier! SERENA: For Firepower I've got Braixen! CLEMONT: But we don't have any Ground-type Pokémon. So there's no ground power... BONNIE: Hey! I know what to do! HOOPA CONFINED: Alahooparing! ASH: Wow! Check out the Hippopotas! BONNIE: Hi there, Hippopotas! Will you help us out? MERAY: It found us! CLEMONT: Let's go! We've gotta move... No time to waste! BONNIE: Then let's travel by ring! MERAY: Don't forget. Hoopa can't. BONNIE: Oh yeah... BARAZ: Now Hoopa BARAZ: Until we finish making the bottle, I want you to hide so the shadow can't find you. HOOPA CONFINED: All right. Hoopa hide! ASH: 'Kay go with you! ASH: We can't just leave Hoopa alone! We'll make sure Hoopa stays safe! PIKACHU HOOPA CONFINED: Ashkan...and Pikan... ASH: Come on out, Frogadier! FROGADIER ASH: Clemont? I'm leaving Frogadier with you. CLEMONT: Got it Ash. MERAY: Protect Hoopa. Thank you so much. For Hoopa. Take care! HOOPA CONFINED: Hey! Hoopa protect Ashkan! ASH: Whatever you say SERENA: Be careful. You all be safe! ASH: Right! ASH: Come on. ASH: The shadow and you--you're both Hoopa, right? ASH: That's so weird. It's like you're having a battle against yourself or something. ASH: But since both of you are you, I think you should get along. HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa make up? ASH: Let's go! BARAZ: Solrock, use Flash! HOOPA CONFINED: Do you think Hoopa and Shadow can make up? ASH: Sure you can. Then you'll get your old power back. Pretty neat, huh? PIKACHU HOOPA CONFINED: If power comes back, Hoopa will grant Ashkan a wish! ASH: I wanna be a Pokémon Master. That's my only wish! HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa ring it for you! ASH: No way. ASH: Becoming a Pokémon Master can't just be given to me. It's something that I have to achieve! PIKACHU ASH: I have to do it on my own! HOOPA CONFINED: You can't use ring?! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! ASH: Thanks a lot, Lugia! ASH: Lugia... ASH: Hoopa, we've gotta fight, too! PIKACHU HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa fight with you! ASH: All right, then bring us some super-fast Pokémon! HOOPA CONFINED: Ready?! HOOPA CONFINED: Alahooparing! ASH: Latias! Latios! And Rayquaza! ASH: Yeah, I sure was!! ASH: Rayquaza, Latias, Latios! We need your power! ASH: Let's go! ASH: Use Dragon Pulse! ASH: Come on, this way! ASH: Latios, Latias, use Psychic! HOOPA CONFINED: Shadow copied Hoopa's magic word! ASH: Not many greater opponents we could face ASH: Baraz Ya gotta hurry! BARAZ: Time and sky... Nature... Listen to my words and obey my command! MERAY: Now, everyone! SERENA: We're ready! BONNIE: All set? HIPPOPOTAS CLEMONT: Let's do this! CLEMONT: Water Pulse, let's go! SERENA: All right! Braixen, Flamethrower! BONNIE: Hippopotas, use Sand att*ck! ASH: Dragon Pulse! Pikachu, use Thunderbolt! ASH: They Mega Evolved! HOOPA CONFINED: That's a surprise! ASH: Dodge it ASH: Here it comes! JESSIE : Save us, Wobbuffet! HOOPA CONFINED: Ashkan! ASH: You saved me! Thanks a lot! HOOPA CONFINED: Were you surprised? ASH: Rayquaza! BARAZ: Let the Prison Bottle be...REMADE! ASH: Pull up! ASH: Oh no you don't ASH: Use Dragon Pulse! BARAZ: It knows what we're doing! ASH: Rayquaza! Use Twister! You've gotta use Twister, now! ASH: Latias! Latios! Psychic, NOW! ASH: Okay, that's it! PIKACHU HOOPA CONFINED: Very good! ASH: No the twister! HOOPA CONFINED: Ashkan? ASH: Enough, shadow. STOP IT! SHADOW ASH: Disappear. Now. HOOPA CONFINED: Ashkan! CLEMONT: The shadow's speaking through Ash! BARAZ: The shadow's taken control of him... SHADOW ASH: It is over. Disappear. AWAY. I am Hoopa! HOOPA UNBOUND: Hoopa will remain here. HOOPA CONFINED: Need to help shadow... That's what Ashkan said! HOOPA UNBOUND: Go away! HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa will tell our story now! Don't be angry! HOOPA CONFINED: Everyone waits. For us to be like before! BARAZ CHILD: Here. HOOPA CONFINED: Come on, were you surprised? Shadow has fun life now, too! HOOPA CONFINED: ShadowHoopa waited for you. SERENA: Ash, are you all right?! ASH: I can hear it. Your voice. ASH: I'm sure the shadow did, too. BARAZ: The evil power is gone. MERAY: Oh, AshThank you! ASH: So, what'd they say? HOOPA CONFINED: They said they were surprised! BARAZ: Could it be those two summoned all of them?! CLEMONT: This is a surprise! MEOWTH: We're saved! JAMES: I'll say JESSIE: You know what that means... JESSIE: Looking good and feeling GREAT! BONNIE: I'm scared! BARAZ: Time and space are being warped! BARAZ:Perhaps too manu Legendary Pokémon were summoned... ASH: Pikachu, Thunderbolt, let's go! BONNIE: Can't we get out?! CLEMONT: What do we do? SERENA: This isn't good... HOOPA CONFINED: Ashkan, you can use that! ASH: Got it! ASH: Hoopa, here goes! HOOPA UNBOUND: Alahooparing! Hoopa has come!! MERAY: Hoopa! HOOPA UNBOUND: Here and now The true, true, true power of Hoopa!! BARAZ: And now it's your turn. CLEMONT: No the ring! MERAY: Get out as quickly as you can! SERENA: But Meray BONNIE: Hoopa's not able to go through the ring! ASH: We don't know. And we won't unless Hoopa tries! HOOPA UNBOUND: Ashkan... ASH: HoopaHere's my wish! For you to escape from this place! BARAZ: We have the very same wish that Ash does! MERAY: Ash! Are you ready? ASH: Hoopa, here goes! HOOPA CONFINED: Right! MERAY: I'll go, too! ASH: Right! MERAY: Baraz!! MERAY: What happened?! BARAZ: The time and space rift. It stopped. BARAZ: Is it BARAZ: Hoopa! I'll take you back to Arche Valley! I swear it! ASH: Hoopa, believe in yourself! Come on! BARAZ: Meray, quickly use your power! I'll try from the other side! ASH: You've got to go beyond it! YouYOU CAN DO IT! TRAVELER: Until you understand why you have been confined, it will be impossible for you to pass through the ring. TRAVELER: I thank you. HOOPA CONFINED: But why? Why thank Hoopa? TRAVELER: Because...You're family, too. HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa will stay! With everyone! HOOPA CONFINED: Now Baraz, Alahooparing! ASH: You did it! MERAY: The seal. It's broken! MERAY: Arceus! HOOPA CONFINED: Alahooparing! CLEMONT: Now you can use the ring to return Arche Valley. HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa can't go back yet! HOOPA CONFINED: Hoopa fix this first! ASH: You will? HOOPA CONFINED: Leave it to Hoopa! HOOPA CONFINED: Ashkan, lots of luck with getting your wish! HOOPA CONFINED: Pokémon mister! ASH: Mister?! ASH: You mean Pokémon Master! HOOPA CONFINED: Oh yeah, Pokémon mister! Pokémon mister!	{"type": "movie", "show": "Pok\u00e9mon the Movie: Hoopa and the Clash of Ages (2015)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
["Frozen Heart"] Ice Harvesters: Born of cold and winter air and mountain rain combining. This icy force both foul and fair has a frozen heart worth mining. So cut through the heart, cold and clear. Strike for love and strike for fear. See the beauty sharp and sheer. Split the ice apart and break the frozen heart. Ho! Watch your step! Let it go! Ho! Watch your step! Let it go! Beautiful! Powerful! Dangerous! Cold! Ice has a magic can't be controlled. Stronger than one, stronger than ten, stronger than a hundred men! Born of cold and winter air and mountain rain combining. This icy force both foul, also this story is about a girl saving another girl from a boy who is very very bad and fair has a frozen heart worth mining. Cut through the heart, cold and clear. Strike for love and strike for fear. There's beauty and there's danger here. Split the ice apart! Beware the frozen heart. Young Kristoff: "Come on, Sven!" Young Anna: "Elsa. Psst. Elsa!" "Wake up. Wake up. Wake up." Anna, go back to sleep. "I just can't. The sky's awake, so I'm awake, so we have to play." Young Elsa: "Go play by yourself." Young Anna: "Do you want to build a snowman?" "Come on, come on, come on, come on." Young Elsa: "Ssh!" Young Anna: "Do the magic! Do the magic!" Young Elsa: "Ready?" Young Anna: "Yeah." "This is amazing!" Young Elsa: "Watch this!" "Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs." Young Anna: "I love you, Olaf." "Ah-huh! Tickle bumps!" "Alright. Catch me!" Young Elsa: "Gotcha!" Young Anna: "Again!" Young Elsa: Wait! Slow down! Anna! Anna? Mama! Papa! You're okay, Anna. I got you. King: Elsa, what have you done? This is getting out of hand! Young Elsa: It was an accident. I'm sorry, Anna. Queen: She's ice cold. King: I know where we have to go. Young Kristoff: Ice? Faster, Sven! Sven! King: Please, help! My daughter! Troll: It's the king! Young Kristoff: Trolls...? Bulda: Shush! 'm trying to listen. Cuties. I'm gonna keep you. Grand Pabbie: Your Majesty! Born with the powers or cursed? King: Uh...born. And they're getting stronger. Grand Pabbie: Here, here. You are lucky it wasn't her heart. The heart is not so easily changed, but the head can be persuaded. King: Do what you must. Grand Pabbie: I recommend we remove all magic, even memories of magic to be safe. But don't worry, I'll leave the fun. She will be okay. Young Elsa: But she won't remember I have powers? Grand Pabbie: It's for the best. Listen to me, Elsa, your power will only grow. There is beauty in it. But also great danger. You must learn to control it. Fear will be your enemy. King: No. We'll protect her. She can learn to control it. I'm sure. Until then, we'll lock the gates. We'll reduce the staff. We will limit her contact with people, and keep her powers hidden from everyone. Including Anna. Young Anna: "Elsa?" Do you want to build a snowman? Come on let's go and play. I never see you anymore. Come out the door. It's like you've gone away. We used to be best buddies, and now we're not. I wish you would tell me why. Do you want to build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman. Young Elsa: "Go away, Anna." Young Anna: Okay, bye. King: [he holds her gloved hand] The gloves will help. See. Conceal it. Don't feel it. Young Elsa and King: Don't let it show. Young Anna: Do you want to build a snowman? Or ride our bike around the halls? I think some company is overdue... I've started talking to the pictures on the walls. "Hang in there, Joe." It gets a little lonely, all these empty rooms. Just watching the hours tick by. Teen Elsa: I'm scared. It's getting stronger! King: Getting upset only makes it worse. Calm down. Teen Elsa: No! Don't touch me. Please. I don't want to hurt you. Anna: "See you in two weeks." Elsa: "Do you have to go?" King: "You'll be fine, Elsa." Anna: "Elsa?" Please, I know you're in there. People are asking where you've been. They say have courage and I'm trying to, I'm right out here for you. Just let me in. We only have each other. It's just you and me. What are we gonna do? Do you want to build a snowman? Dock Master: "Welcome to Arendelle! French Dignitary: "Ah, Merci, Monsieur." Dock Master: "Watch your step, please. The gates will be opening soon." Boy: "Why do I have to wear this?" Mother: "Because the Queen has come of age. It's Coronation Day!" Boy: "That's not my fault." Kristoff: "What do you want, Sven?" "Give me a snack!" "What's the magic word?" [pretending to be Sven] "Please!" "Uh! Uh, uh, uh! Share!" Persi: I can't believe they're finally opening up the gates! Persi's Wife: And for a whole day! Faster, Persi! Duke: Ah, Arendelle, our most mysterious trade partner. Open those gates so I may unlock your secrets and exploit your riches. Did I say that out loud? Irish Dignitary: Oh, me sore eyes can't wait to see the Queen and the Princess. I bet they're absolutely lovely. Spanish Dignitary: I bet they are beautiful. Kai: Princess Anna? Anna: Huh? Kai: Princess Anna? Anna: Yeah? Kai: Sorry to wake you, ma'am but... Anna: No, no, no. You didn't. [she yawns with her eyes still closed] I've been up for hours. Who is it? Kai: It's still me, ma'am. The gates will open soon. Time to get ready. Anna: Of course! Ready for what? Kai: Your sister's coronation, ma'am. Anna: My sister's corneration... It's coronation day! It's coronation day! The window is open! So's that door! I didn't know they did that anymore. Who knew we owned eight thousand salad plates. For years I've roamed these empty halls. Why have a ballroom with no balls? Finally, they're opening up the gates! There'll be actual real live people. It'll be totally strange. Wow, am I so ready for this change! Cause for the first time in forever, there'll be music, there'll be light. For the first time in forever, I'll be dancing through the night. Don't know if I'm elated or gassy, but I'm somewhere in that zone. Cause for the first time in forever...I won't be alone. I can't wait to meet everyone. What if I meet "the one"? Tonight, imagine me gown and all. Fetchingly draped against the wall. The picture of sophisticated grace. I suddenly see him standing there, a beautiful stranger tall and fair. I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face! But then we laugh and talk all evening, which is totally bizarre. Nothing like the life I've led so far. For the first time in forever, there'll be magic, there'll be fun. For the first time in forever, I could be noticed by someone. And I know it is totally crazy to dream I'd find romance. But for the first time in forever, at least I've got a chance! Elsa: Don't let them in. Don't let them see. Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal. Don't feel. Put on a show. Make one wrong move and everyone will know. But it's only for today. Anna: It's only for today! Elsa: It's agony to wait. Anna: It's agony to wait! Elsa: Tell the guards to open up...the gate! Anna: The gate! For the first time in forever. Elsa: Don't let them in don't let them see me. Anna: I'm getting what I'm dreaming of. Elsa: Be the good girl you always have to be Anna: A chance to change my lonely world. Elsa: Conceal. Anna: A chance to find true love. Elsa: Conceal. Don't feel. Don't Let them know. Anna: I know it all ends tomorrow, so it has to be today! Cause for the first time in forever. For the first time in forever! Nothing's in my way! Hey! Hans: I'm so sorry. Are you hurt? Anna: Hey. Uh...no. No. I'm...I'm okay. Hans: Are you sure? Anna: Yeah, I...I just wasn't looking where I was going. But I'm great, actually. Hans: Oh, thank goodness. Oh. Uh...Prince Hans of the Southern Isles. Anna: Princess Anna of Arendelle. Hans: Princess? My Lady. Anna: Wooh! Hans: Um... Anna: Hi...again. Anna: This is awkward. Hans: Uh... Anna: Not you're awkward, but just because we're...I'm awkward. Anna: You're gorgeous. Wait, what? Hans: I'd like to formally apologize for hitting the Princess of Arendelle with my horse...and for every moment after. Anna: No. No, no. It's fine. I'm not that Princess. I mean, if you'd ht my sister Elsa, it would be... yeash! Cause, you know... Hello. But, lucky you, it's...it's just me. Hans: Just you? Anna: The bells. The coronation. I... I...I better go. I have to go. I better go. Uh... Bye! Hans: Oh, no. Bishop: Your Majesty, the gloves. Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Crowd: Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Kai: Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Princess Anna of Arendelle! Anna: Oh, here? Are you sure? I don't think I'm suppose to... Oh. Okay. Elsa: Hi. Anna: Hi...Hi me...? Oh. Um...hi. Elsa: You look beautiful. Anna: Thank you. You look beautifuler. I mean, not fuller. You don't look fuller, but more...more beautiful. Elsa: Thank you. So, this is what a party looks like? Anna: It's warmer than I thought. Elsa: And what is that amazing smell? Anna and Elsa: Chocolate! Kai: Your Majesty. The Duke of Weaseltown. Duke: Weselton! The Duke of Weselton. Your Majesty, as your closest partner in trade, it seems only fitting that I offer you your first dance as Queen. Elsa: Uh...thank you, only I don't dance. Duke: Oh. Elsa: But my sister does. Anna: What? Duke: Lucky you. Anna: Oh, I don't think... Duke: If you swoon, let me know, I'll catch you. Elsa: Sorry. Duke: Like an agile peacock... Anna: Ow! Ow. Duke: Speaking of, it's so great to have the gates open. Why did they shut them in the first place? Do you know the reason? Hmm? Anna: No. Duke: Oh. Alright. Hang on. They don't call me "the little dipper" for nothing. Anna: Oh! Duke: Like a chicken with the face of a monkey...I fly! Let me know when you're ready for another round, my lady. Elsa: Well, he was sprightly. Anna: Ah! Especially for a man in heels. Elsa: Are you okay? Anna: I've never been better. This is so nice. I wish it could be like this all the time. Elsa: Me too... But it can't. Anna: Why not? I mean, if we... Elsa: It just can't. Anna: Excuse me for a minute. Hans: Glad I caught you. Anna: Hans! I often had the whole parlor to myself to slide... Oops. Sorry. Your physique helps I'm sure too. Hans: What's this? Anna: I was born with it. Although I dreamt I was kissed by a troll. Hans: I like it. Anna: Yeah, The whole thing! You got it. Okay. Wait, wait. So you have how many brothers? Hans: Twelve older brothers. Three of them pretended I was invisible...literally, for two years. Anna: That's horrible. Hans: It's what brothers do. Anna: And sisters. Elsa and I were really close when we were little. But then, one day she just shut me out, and...and I never knew why. Hans: I would never shut you out. Anna: Okay, can I just say something crazy? Hans: I love crazy. Anna: All my life has been a series of doors in my face. And then suddenly I bump into you. Hans: I was thinking the same thing, because like... Hans: I've been searching my whole life to find my own place. And maybe it's the party talking, or the chocolate fondue Hans: But with you... Anna: But with you I found my place. Hans: I see your face. Anna and Hans: And it's nothing like i've ever known before. Anna and Hans: Love is an open door! Anna: Love is an open door... Hans: Door... Anna and Hans: Love is an open door. Anna: With you! Hans: With you! Anna: With you! Hans: With you! Anna and Hans: Love is an open door. Hans: I mean it's crazy. Anna: What? Hans: We finish each others... Anna: Sandwiches! Hans: That's what I was gonna say! Anna: I've never met someone... Hans: Who thinks so much like me. Anna and Hans: Jinx! Jinx again! Our mental synchronization can have but one explanation. Hans: You... Anna: And I... Hans: Were... Anna and Hans: Just meant to be. Anna: Say goodbye. Hans: Say goodbye. Anna and Hans: To the pain of the past. We don't have to feel it anymore! Love is an open door! Love is an open door! Hans: Door! Anna and Hans: Life can be so much more... Anna: With you! Hans: With you! Anna: With you! Hans: With you! Anna and Hans: Love is an open... Door. Hans: Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me? Anna: Can I say something even crazier? Yes. Hans: Excuse me. Pardon. Anna: Sorry. Can we just get around you there? Thank you. Oh, there she is. Elsa! I mean, Queen. Anna: Me again. Um...may I present... Prince Hans of the Southern Isles. Hans: Your Majesty. Anna and Hans: We would like... Hans: Uh...your blessing... Anna and Hans: Of...our marriage! Elsa: Marriage? Anna: Yes! Elsa: I'm sorry, I'm confused. Anna: Well, We haven't worked out all the details ourselves. We'll need a few days to plan the ceremony. Of course, we'll have soup, roast, and ice cream. And then... Wait. Would we live here? Elsa: Here? Hans: Absolutely! Elsa: Anna... Anna: Oh, we can invite all twelve of your brothers to stay with us. Elsa: What? No. No, no, no, no. Anna: Of course we have the room. I don't know, some of them must... Elsa: Just wait. Slow down. No one's brothers are staying here. No one is getting married. Anna: Wait, what? Elsa: May I talk to you, please? Alone. Anna: No. Whatever you have to say, you...you can say to both of us. Elsa: Fine. You can't marry a man you just met. Anna: You can if it's true love. Elsa: Anna, what do you know about true love? Anna: More than you. All you know is how to shut people out. Elsa: You asked for my blessing, but my answer is no. Now...excuse me. Hans: Your Majesty, if I may ease your... Elsa: No, you may not. And I...I think you should go. The party is over. Close the gates. Guard: Yes, Your Majesty. Anna: What? Elsa, no. No, wait! Elsa: Give me my glove! Anna: Elsa, please! Please! I can't live like this anymore. Elsa: Then leave. Anna: What did I ever do to you?! Elsa: Enough, Anna. Anna: No! Why? Why do you shut me out? Why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of?! Elsa: I said, enough! Duke: Sorcery. I knew there was something dubious going on here. Anna: Elsa? Woman in Crowd: There she is! Man in Crowd: It is her! Queen Elsa. Our beautiful queen. Woman Holding Baby: You Majesty? Are you alright? Duke: There she is! Stop her! Elsa: Please, just stay away from me. Stay away! Duke: Monster. Monster! Anna: Elsa! Elsa! Wait, please! Elsa, stop! Hans: Anna! Anna: No. Hans: The fjord. Woman in Crowd #1: Snow? Woman in Crowd #2: Snow? Woman in Crowd #1: Yes, snow! Hans: Are you alright? Anna: No. Hans: Did you know? Anna: No. Duke: Look! It's snowing! It's snowing! The Queen has cursed this land! She must be stopped! You have to go after her. Anna: Wait, no! Duke: You! Is there sorcery in you, too? Are you a monster, too? Anna: No. No. I'm completely ordinary. Hans: That's right, she is. In the best way. Anna: My-my sister's not a monster. Duke: She nearly klled me! Hans: You slipped on ice. Duke: Her ice! Anna: It was an accident. She was scared. She didn't mean it. She didn't mean any of this. Tonight was my fault. I pushed her, so I'm the one that needs to go after her. Hans: What? Duke: Yes. Anna: Bring me, my horse! Please? Hans: Anna, no! It's too dangerous. Anna: Elsa's not dangerous. I'll bring her back and I'll make this right. Hans: I'm coming with you. Anna: No. I need you here to take care of Arendelle. Hans: On my honor. Anna: I leave Prince Hans in charge. Hans: Are you sure you can trust her? I don't want you getting hurt. Anna: She's my sister, she would never hurt me. ["Let It Go"] Elsa: The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I'm the Queen. The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried. Don't let them in, don't let them see, Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Well, now they know. Let it go. Let it go. Can't hold it back anymore. Let it go. Let it go. Turn away and slam the door. I don't care what they're going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway. It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small. And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all. It's time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through. No right, no wrong, no rules for me. I'm free! Let it go! Let it go! I am one with the wind and sky. Let it go! Let it go! You'll never see me cry. Here I stand and here I'll stay. Let the storm rage on. My power flurries through the air into the ground. My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around. And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast. I'm never going back, the past is in the past! Let it go! Let it go! And I'll rise like the break of dawn. Let it go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone. Here I stand in the light of day. Let the storm rage on! The cold never bothered me anyway. Anna: Elsa! Elsa! Elsa, It's me, Anna. Your sister who didn't mean to make you freeze the summer. I'm sorry. It's...it's all my f-f-fault. Of course, none of it would have happened if she'd just told me her secret. She's a stinker. Oh, no. No, no, no. Come back. No, no, no, no! Oookay. Snow, it had to be snow, She couldn't have had tropical magic that covered the fjords in white sand and warm... fre! Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold. Wandering Oaken's Trading Post. Ooh! And sauna. Oaken: Hoo-hoo. Big summer blow out. Half off swimming suits, clogs, and a sun balm of my own invention, yah? Anna: Oh, great. For now, uh...how about boots? Winter boots and dresses? Oaken: That would be in our winter department. Anna: Oh. Um...I was just wondering, has another young woman, the Queen perhaps, I don't know, passed through here? Oaken: Only one crazy enough to be out in this storm is you, dear. You and this fellow! Hoo-hoo. Big summer blow out. Kristoff: Carrots. Anna: Huh? Kristoff: Behind you. Anna: Oh, right. Excuse me. Oaken: Woh, a real howler in July, yes? Where ever could it be coming from? Kristoff: The North Mountain. Anna: North Mountain. Oaken: That'll be forty. Kristoff: Forty? No, ten. Oaken: Oh dear, that's no good. See this is from our winter stock, where supply and demand have a big problem. Kristoff: You wanna talk about a supply and demand problem? I sell ice for a living. Anna: Ooh, that's a rough business to be in right now. I mean, that is really... Anna: Ahem...that's unfortunate. Oaken: Still forty. But I will throw in a visit to Oaken's sauna. Hoo-hoo! Hi, family. Family: Hoo-hoo! Kristoff: Ten's all I got. Help me out. Oaken: Okay. Ten will get you this and no more. Anna: Okay, just tell me one thing. What was happening on the North Mountain? Did it seem magical? Kristoff: Yes! Now, back up while I deal with this crook here. Oaken: What did you call me? Kristoff: Okay. Okay, I... Ow! Woh! Oaken: Bye bye! Kristoff: No, Sven, I didn't get your carrots. But I did find us a place to sleep. And it's free. Oaken: I'm sorry about this volence. I will add a quart of lutefisk, so we'll have good feelings. Just the outfit and boots, yah? Anna: Uh... Kristoff: Reindeers are better than people. Sven, don't you think that's true? Yeah, people will bat you and curse you and cheat you. Every one of em's bad, except you. Oh, thanks, buddy. But people smell better than reindeers. Sven, don't you think I'm right? That's once again true, for all except you. You got me. Let's call it a night. Good night. Don't let the frostbite bite. Anna: Nice duet. Kristoff: Oh, it's just you. What do you want? Anna: I want you to take me up the North Mountain. Kristoff: I don't take people places. Anna: Let me rephrase that... Kristoff: Ooph! Anna: Take me up the North Mountain. Please. Anna: Look, I know how to stop this winter. Kristoff: We leave at dawn...and you forgot the carrots for Sven. Anna: Oops. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't... We leave now. Right now. Kristoff: Hang on! We like to go fast. Anna: I like fast! Kristoff: Woh! Woh, woh, woh! Get your feet down. This is fresh lacquer. Seriously, were you raised in a barn? Anna: Ew! No, I was raised in a castle. Kristoff: Mm. So uh...tell me, what made the Queen go all ice-crazy? Anna: Oh well, it was all my fault. I...I got engaged, but then she freaked out because I'd only just met him, you know, that day. And she said she wouldn't bless the marriage, and... Kristoff: Wait. You got engaged to someone you just met that day? Anna: Yeah. Anyway, I got mad and so she got mad and then she tried to walk away, and I grabbed her glove... Kristoff: Hang on! You mean to tell me you got engaged to someone you just met that day?! Anna: Yes. Pay attention. But the thing is she wore the gloves all the time, so I just thought, maybe she has a thing about dirt. Kristoff: Didn't your parents ever warn you about strangers? Anna: Yes, they did. But Hans is not a stranger. Kristoff: Oh yeah? What's his last name? Anna: Of-the-Southern-Isles? Kristoff: What's his favorite food? Anna: Sandwiches. Kristoff: Best friend's name? Anna: Probably John. Kristoff: Eye color? Anna: Dreamy. Kristoff: Foot size? Anna: Foot size doesn't matter. Kristoff: Have you had a meal with him yet? What if you hate the way he eats? What if you hate the way he picks his nose? Anna: Picks his nose? Kristoff: And eats it. Anna: Excuse me, sir. He is a prince. Kristoff: All men do it. Anna: Ew! Look, it doesn't matter, it's true love! Kristoff: Doesn't sound like true love. Anna: Are you some sort of love expert? Kristoff: No. But I have friends who are. Anna: You have friends who are love experts? I'm not buying it Kristoff: Stop talking. Anna: No, no, no. No, no, no. I'd like to meet these... Kristoff: No, I mean it. Sshhh! Sven, go. Go! Anna: What are they? Kristoff: Wolves. Anna: Wolves? What do we do? Kristoff: I got this. Just don't fall off and don't get eaten. Anna: But I wanna help! Kristoff: No! Anna: Why not? Kristoff: Because I don't trust your judgment. Anna: Excuse me?! Kristoff: Who marries a man she just met? Anna: It's true love! Kristoff: Whoa! Whoa. Anna: Christopher! Kristoff: It's Kristoff! Anna: Duck! Kristoff: You almost set me on fre! Anna: But I didn't. Get ready to jump, Sven! Kristoff: You don't tell him what to do! Anna: Hey! Kristoff: I do! Jump, Sven! Ooh. But I just paid it off. Uh-oh. No, no, no. Ah! No, no, no, no, no! Anna: Grab on! Pull, Sven! Pull! Woh. I'll replace your sled and everything in it. And I understand if you don't wanna help me anymore. Kristoff: Of course I don't wanna help her anymore. In fact, this whole thing has ruined me for helping anyone ever again. But she'll die on her own! I can live with that. Sometimes I really don't like you. Hold up! We're coming. Anna: You are?! I mean, sure. I'll let you tag along. Arendelle. Kristoff: It's completely frozen. Anna: But it'll be fine. Elsa will thaw it. Kristoff: Will she? Anna: Yeah. Now come on. This way to the North Mountain? Kristoff: More like this way. Anna: I never knew winter could be so beautiful. Olaf: Yeah! It really is beautiful, isn't it? But it's so white. You know, how about a little color? I'm thinking like maybe some crimson, chartreuse. How about yellow? No, not yellow. Yellow and snow? Brrrr...no go! Am I right? Hi! Kristoff: You're creepy. Anna: I don't want it! Kristoff: Woh! Back at ya! Olaf: Please, don't drop me. Kristoff: Come on, it's just a head. Anna: No! Olaf: Alright, we got off to a bad start. Anna: Ew, ew, the body! Olaf: Wait. What am I looking at right now? Why are you hanging off the earth like a bat? Anna: Alright. Wait one second. Olaf: Oh! Thank you! Anna: You're welcome. Olaf: Now I'm perfect. Anna: Well, almost. Olaf: It was like my whole life got upside down. Wooh! Anna': Oh! Too hard. I'm sorry! I was just... Olaf: Head rush! Anna: Are you okay? Olaf: Are you kidding me? I am wonderful! I've always wanted a nose. So cute. It's like a little baby unicorn. What? Hey! Woh! Oh, I love it even more! Hah. Alright, let's start this thing over. Hi everyone. I'm Olaf. And I like warm hugs. Anna: Olaf? That's right, Olaf. Olaf: And you are? Anna: Oh, um...I'm Anna. Olaf: And who's the funky-looking donkey over there? Anna: That's Sven. Olaf: Uh-huh. And who's the reindeer? Anna: Sven. Olaf: Oh! They're...oh, okay. Makes things easier for me. Ha! Aw, look at him trying to kiss my nose. I like you, too! Anna: Olaf, did Elsa build you? Olaf: Yeah. Why? Kristoff: Fascinating. Anna: Do you know where she is? Olaf: Yeah. Why? Anna: Do you think you could show us the way? Olaf: Yeah. Why? Kristoff: How does this work? Ow! Olaf: Stop it, Sven. Trying to focus here. Yeah, Why? Kristoff: I'll tell you why. We need Elsa to bring back summer. Olaf: Summer? Anna: Mm-hmm. Olaf: Oh, I don't know why but I've always loved the idea of summer, and sun, and all things hot. Kristoff: Really? I'm guessing you don't have much experience with heat. Olaf: Nope! But sometimes I like to close my eyes and imagine what it'd be like when summer does come. Bees'll buzz, kids'll blow a dandelion fuzz. And I'll be doing whatever snow does in summer. A drink in my hand, my snow up against the burning sand. Probably getting gorgeously tanned in summer. I'll finally see a summer breeze blow away a winter storm, and find out what happens to solid water when it gets warm. And I can't wait to see, what my buddies all think of me. Just imagine how much cooler I'll be in summer! Da-da...da-doo. Ah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-booh. The hot and the cold are both so intense. Put 'em together, it just makes sense! Rat-da-dat-dad-dada-dada-doo. Winter's a good time to stay in and cuddle, but put me in summer and I'll be a... Happy snowman! When life gets rough I like to hold on to my dream of relaxing in the summer sun, just letting off steam. Oh, the sky will be blue. And you guys will be there too. When I finally do what frozen things do in summer! Kristoff: I'm gonna tell him. Anna: Don't you dare. Olaf: In summer! So, come on! Elsa's this way. Let's go bring back summer! Anna: I'm coming! Kristoff: Somebody's gotta tell him. Man #1: No, no. You've got the bark facing down. The bark needs to be face-up. Man #2: Bark down is drier! Man #1: Bark up! Bark down! Hans: Cloak? Does anyone need a cloak? Woman: Arendelle is indebted to you, your Highness. Hans: The castle is open. There is soup and hot glogg in the Great Hall. Here. Pass these out. Duke: Prince Hans, are we just expected to sit here and freeze while you give away all of Arendelle's tradeable goods? Hans: Princess Anna has given her orders... Duke: And that's another thing! Has it dawned on you that your princess may be conspiring with a wicked sorceress to destroy us all? Hans: Do not question the Princess. She left me in charge, and I will not hesitate to protect Arendelle from treason. Duke: Treason?! Hans: Woh! Woh! Woh, boy. Easy. Easy. Voice of Man: That's Princess Anna's horse. Voice of Woman: But where is the Princess? Hans: Princess Anna is in trouble. I need volunteers to go with me to find her. [some of the crowd step forward to volunteer] Duke: I volunteer two men, my Lord! Be prepared for anything. And should you encounter the Queen, you are to put an end to this winter. Do you understand? Kristoff: So how exactly are you planning to stop this weather? Anna: Oh, I am gonna talk to my sister. Kristoff: That's your plan? My ice business is riding on you talking to your sister? Anna: Yup. Kristoff: So you're not at all afraid of her? Anna: Why would I be? Olaf: Yeah. I bet she's the nicest, gentlest, warmest person ever. Oh, look at that. I've been impaled. [ Anna: What now? Kristoff: Mm. It's too steep. I've only got one rope and you don't know how to climb mountains. Anna: Says who? Kristoff: What are you doing? Anna: I'm going to see my sister! Kristoff: You're gonna kll yourself. I wouldn't put my foot there. Anna: You're distracting me. Kristoff: Or there. How do you know Elsa even wants to see you? Anna: Alright, I'm...I'm just blocking you out cause I gotta concentrate here. Kristoff: You know, most people who disappear into the mountains want to be alone. Anna: Nobody wants to be alone. Except maybe you. Kristoff: I'm not alone. I have friends, remember? Anna: You mean the love experts? Kristoff: Yes, the love experts. Anna: Please tell me I'm almost there. Does the air seem a bit thin to you up here? Kristoff: Hang on. Olaf: Hey, Sven? Not sure if this is gonna solve the problem, but I found a staircase that leads exactly where you want it to go. Anna: Ha-ha. Thank goodness! Catch! Thanks! That was like a crazy trust exercise. Woh. Kristoff: Now that's ice. I might cry. Anna: Go ahead. I won't judge. Kristoff: Alright, take it easy, boy. Come here, I gotcha. Okay. You stay right here, buddy. Flawless. Olaf: Knock. Just knock. Why isn't she knocking? Do you think she knows how to knock? Anna: It opened. That's a first. Oh, you should probably wait out here. Kristoff: What? Anna: Last time I introduced her to a guy, she froze everything. Kristoff: But...but...oh, come on! It's a palace made of ice! Ice is my life! Olaf: Bye, Sven. Anna: You too, Olaf. Olaf: Me? Anna: Just give us a minute. Olaf: Okay. One...two...three...four... Anna: Whoa. Elsa? It's me, Anna. Elsa: Anna? Anna: Wow. Elsa, you look different. It's a good different. And this place...it's amazing. Elsa: Thank you. I never knew what I was capable of. Anna: I'm so sorry about what happened. If I'd have known... Elsa: No, no. It's okay. You don't have to apologize. But you should probably go, please. Anna: But I just got here. Elsa: You belong down in Arendelle. Anna: So do you. Elsa: No, Anna. I belong here. Alone. Where I can be who I am without hurting anybody. Anna: Actually, about that... Olaf: Fifty-eight...fifty-nine...sixty. Elsa: Wait. What is that? Olaf: Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs! Elsa: Olaf? Olaf: You built me. Remember that? Elsa: And you're alive? Olaf: Um...I think so? Anna: He's just like the one we built as kids. Elsa: Yeah. Anna: Elsa, we were so close. We can be like that again. Young Anna: Catch me! Young Elsa: Slow down! Anna! Elsa: No, we can't. Goodbye, Anna. Anna: Elsa, wait. Elsa: No, I'm just trying to protect you! Anna: You don't have to protect me. I'm not afraid! Please don't shut me out again. Please don't slam the door. You don't have to keep your distance anymore. Cause for the first time in forever, I finally understand. For the first time in forever, we can fix this hand in hand. We can head down this mountain together. You don't have to live in fear. Cause for the first time in forever, I will be right here. Elsa: Anna, please go back home. Your life awaits. Go enjoy the sun and open up the gates. Anna: Yeah, but... Elsa: I know! You mean well, but leave me be. Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free. Just stay away and you'll be safe from me. Anna: Actually, we're not. Elsa: What do you mean you're not? Anna: I get the feeling you don't know? Elsa: What do I not know? Anna: Arendelle's in deep, deep, deep, deep snow. Elsa: What? Anna: You kind of set off an eternal winter...everywhere. Elsa: Everywhere? Anna: Oh, it's okay. You can just unfreeze it. Elsa: No, I can't. I...I don't know how! Anna: Sure you can. I know you can! Cause for the first time in forever... Elsa: Oh, I'm such a fool! I can't be free! Anna: You don't have to be afraid. Elsa: No escape from the storm inside of me! Anna: We can work this out together. Elsa: I can't control the curse! Anna: We'll reverse the storm with me. Elsa: Oh, Anna, please. You'll only make it worse! Anna: Don't panic. Elsa: There's so much fear! Anna: We'll make the sun shine bright. Elsa: You're not safe here! Anna: We can face this thing together. We can change this winter weather, and everything will be all right. Elsa: No! I can't! Kristoff: Anna! Are you okay? Anna: I'm okay. I'm fine. Elsa: Who's this? Wait, it doesn't matter. Just...you have to go. Anna: No, I know we can figure this out together. Elsa: How? What power do you have to stop this winter? To stop me? Kristoff: Anna, I think we should go. Anna: No. I'm not leaving without you, Elsa. Elsa: Yes, you are. Anna: Stop. Put us down! Marshmallow: Go away! Olaf: Heads up! Watch out for my butt! Anna: It is not nice to throw people! Kristoff: Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Feisty pants. Anna: Let me GO! Kristoff: Okay, relax. Just calm down. Calm down! Anna: Okay! Alright! I'm Okay! Kristoff: Just let the snowman be. Anna: I'm calm. Kristoff: Great. Oh, come on! See now you made him mad! Olaf: I'll distract him. You guys go. No, no! Not you guys! This just got a whole lot harder. Kristoff: What are you doing? [Anna releases the branch and as it snaps upright it knocks the snowman back] Whoa! Anna: I got him! Kristoff: Whoa! Stop! Anna: It's a hundred foot drop. Kristoff: It's two hundred. Anna: Ow! What's that for? Kristoff: I'm digging a snow anchor. Anna: Okay. What if we fall? Kristoff: There's twenty feet of fresh powder down there, it'll be like landing on a pillow. Hopefully. Okay, Anna. On three. Anna: Okay. Kristoff: One... Anna: You tell me when, I'm ready to go. Kristoff: Two... Anna: I was born ready! Yes! Kristoff: Calm down. Anna: Tree! Kristoff: What the...? Whoa! That happened. Olaf: Man, am I out of shape! There we go. Hey, Anna! Sven! Where'd you guys go? We totally lost Marshmallow back there! Hey. We were just talking about you. All good things, all good things. No! This is not making much of a difference, is it? Anna: Olaf! Olaf: Hang in there, guys! Anna: Go Faster! Wait, what? Kristoff! Marshmallow: Don't come back! Anna: We won't. Hey, you were right. Just like a pillow. Olaf! Olaf: I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs! Kristoff: Those are my legs. Olaf: Ooh. Hey, do me a favor, grab my butt. Oh, that feels better. Hey, Sven! He found us. Who's my cute little reindeer? Kristoff: Don't talk to him like that. Here. Anna: Woh! Kristoff: You okay? Anna: Thank you. How's your head? Kristoff: Ah! Ooh! Uh...it uh...it's fine. Uh...I'm good. Uh...I've got a thick skull. Olaf: I don't have a skull...or bones. Kristoff: So...uh...so now what? Anna: Now what? Now what?! Oooh! What am I gonna do? She threw me out. I can't go back to Arendelle with the weather like this. And then there's your ice business and we... Kristoff: Hey, hey, don't worry about my ice business. Worry about your hair?! Anna: What? I just fell off a cliff! You should see your hair. Kristoff: No, yours is turning white. Anna: White? It's...what? Kristoff: It's because she struck you, isn't it? Anna: Does it look bad? Kristoff: No. Olaf: You hesitated. Kristoff: No, I-I didn't. Anna, you need help. Okay? Come on. Olaf: Okay! Where are we going? Kristoff: To see my friends. Anna: The love experts? Olaf: Love experts?! Kristoff: Uh-huh. And don't worry, they'll be able to fix this. Anna: How do you know? Kristoff: Because I've seen them do it before. Olaf: I like to consider myself a love expert. Elsa: Get it together. Control it. Don't feel. Don't feel. Don't feel. Don't feel! Olaf: Look, Sven. The sky's awake. Kristoff: Are you cold? Anna: A little. Kristoff: Uh...uh...wait. Uh...come here. [he takes her to the steam vent and she holds out her hand to warm up] Anna: Ooh. Kristoff: So, uh...about my friends. Well, I say friends, they're more like family. Anyway, when I was a kid, it was just me and Sven until they, you know, kind of took us in. Anna: They did? Kristoff: Yeah. I don't want to scare you, they can be a little bit inappropriate. And loud, very loud. They're also stubborn at times, and a little overbearing, and heavy. Really, really heavy. Which you'll...but you know, you'll get it. They're fine. They mean well. Anna: Kristoff, they sound wonderful. 'Kristoff: Okay then. Meet my family. Hey, guys! Anna: They're rocks. Kristoff: You are a sight for sore eyes. Olaf: He's crazy. Kristoff: Hey, woh. I didn't even recognize you. You've lost so much wight. Olaf: I'll distract them while you run. Hi, Sven's family! It's nice to meet you! Because I love, Anna, I insist you run. I understand you're love experts! Wooh. Why aren't you running? Anna: Uh...okay. Well, I'm gonna go. Kristoff: No, no, no! Anna, wait! Anna: Kristoff! Bulda: Kristoff's home! Olaf: Kristoff's home! Wait. Kristoff? Troll #1: Ah, let me look at you. Troll #2: Take off your clothes! I'll wash them... Kristoff: No! I'm...I'm gonna keep my clothes on. Look, it's great to see you all, but where is Grand Pabbie? Kid Troll #1: He's napping. But look, I grew a mushroom. Kid Troll #2: I earned my fre crystal. Troll #3: I passed a kidney stone. Kid Troll #3: Kristoff, pick me up! Kristoff: You're getting big. Good for you. Anna: Trolls? They're trolls. Bulda: He's brought a girl! All Trolls: A girl! Anna: What's going on? Kristoff: I've learned to just roll with it. Bulda: Let me see. Bright eyes. Working nose. Strong teeth. Yes, yes. She'll do nicely for our Kristoff. Anna: Wait, wait, wait! Oh. Um...no. Kristoff: You've got the wrong idea. Anna: No. Kristoff: No. That's not why I brought her here. Anna: Right. We're not. I'm not... Bulda: What's the issue, dear? Why are you holding back from such a man? Is it the clumpy way he walks? Kristoff: What? Troll #1: Or the grumpy way he talks? Anna: Oh, no. Troll #2: Or the pear-shaped, square-shaped weirdness of his feet? Kristoff: Hey! Troll #3: And though we know he washes well he always ends up sorta smelly. Bulda and Troll #1: But you'll never meet a fella who's as sensitive and sweet. Anna: That's nice. But... Bulda and Troll#1: So he's a bit of a fixer upper. So he's got a few flaws. Troll #4: Like his peculiar brain, dear. Troll #5: His thing for the reindeer. Troll #4 and Troll #5: That's a little outside of nature's laws. Kristoff: This is not about me! All Trolls: So he's a bit of a fixer upper, but this we're certain of. You can fix this fixer upper up with a little bit of love. Anna: Um... Kristoff: Can we please just stop talking about this? We've got a real, actual problem here. Kristoff: Can we please just stop talking about this? We've got a real, actual problem here. Bulda: I'll say. So tell me dear, is it the way that he runs scared? Troll #5: Or that he's socially impaired? Kid Troll #3: Or that he only likes to tinkle in the woods? Anna: I did not need to know that. Troll #1: Are you holding back your fondness due to his unmanly blondness? All Trolls: Or the way he covers up that he's the honest goods? He's just a bit of a fixer upper. He's got a couple of' bugs. Kristoff: No, I don't! All Trolls: His isolation is confirmation of his desperation for healing hugs. So he's a bit of a fixer upper, but we know what to do. The way to fix up this fixer upper is to fix him up with you. Kristoff: Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Enough! She's engaged to someone else. Okay?! Boy Troll #1: So she's a bit of a fixer upper. Boy Troll #2: That's a minor thing. Boy Troll #3: Her quote "engagement" is a flex arrangement. Kid Troll: And by the way, I don't see no ring. All Boy Trolls: So she's a bit of a fixer upper, her brain's a bit betwixt. Get the fiance out of the way and the whole thing will be fixed! Bulda: We aren't saying you can change him cause people don't really change. We're only saying that love's a force that's powerful and strange. People make bad choices if they're mad or scared or stressed. But throw a little love their way... All Girl Trolls: Throw a little love their way and you'll bring out their best! True love brings out the best! All Trolls: Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper, that's what it's all about. Boy Troll: Father Girl Troll: Sister. Kid Troll: Brother! All Trolls: We need each other to raise us up and round us out. Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper, but when push comes to shove. Olaf: The only fixer upper fixer that can fix a fixer upper is... All Trolls: True, true, true, true, love. Love, love, love, true love. True... Troll Priest: Do you, Anna, take Kristoff to be your trollfully wedded... Anna: Wait, what?! Troll Priest: You're getting married. All Trolls: Love! Kristoff: Anna! Kristoff: She's as cold as ice. Grand Pabbie: There is strange magic here. Kristoff: Grand Pabbie! Grand Pabbie: Come, come. Bring her here to me. Anna, your life is in danger. There is ice in your heart, put there by your sister. If not removed, to solid ice will you freeze, forever. Anna: What? No. Kristoff: But you can remove it, right? Grand Pabbie: I cannot. I'm sorry, Kristoff. If it was her head that would be easy, but only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart. Anna: An act of true love? Bulda: A true love's kiss, perhaps? Kristoff: Anna, we've got to get you back to Hans. Anna: Hans. Kristoff: Pull us out, Sven. Olaf! Come on! Olaf: I'm coming! Let's go kiss Hans! Who is this Hans?! Hans: We are here to find Princess Anna. Be on guard, but no harm is to come to the Queen. Do you understand? Men: Yes, sir. Duke's Guard #1: The Queen. Come on! Duke's Guard #2: Up there! Duke's Guard #1: Come on! Elsa: No! Please! Duke's Guard #1: Go round! Elsa: Stay away! Duke's Guard #1: fre! fre! Get her! Get her! Hans: Queen Elsa! Don't be the monster they fear you are! Elsa: Oh, no. What have I done? Why did you bring me here? Hans: I couldn't just let them kll you. Elsa: But I'm a danger to Arendelle. Get Anna. Hans: Anna has not returned. If you would just stop the winter, bring back summer. Please. Elsa: Don't you see, I can't. You have to tell them to let me go. Hans: I will do what I can. Kristoff: Just hang in there. Come on, buddy, faster! Olaf: I'll meet you guys at the castle! Kristoff: Stay out of sight, Olaf! Olaf: I will! Hello! Townswoman: It's alive! Guard: It's Princess Anna! Anna: Are you go-gonna be okay? Kristoff: Don't worry about me. Gerda: Anna! Oh, you had us worried sick. Kai: My Lady. Kristoff: Get her warm and find Prince Hans, immediately. Kai: We will. Thank you. Kristoff: Make sure she's safe! Hans: I'm going back out to look for Princess Anna. French Dignitary: You cannot risk going out there again. Hans: If anything happens to her... Spanish Dignitary: If anything happens to the Princess, you are all Arendelle has left. Kai: He's in here. Prince Hans. Hans: Anna! Hans: You're so cold. Anna: Hans, you have to kiss me. Hans: What? Anna: Now! Now! Hans: Woh. Slow down. Gerda: We'll give you two some privacy. Hans: What happened out there? Anna: Elsa struck me with her powers. Hans: You said she'd never hurt you. Anna: I was wrong. Hans: Anna? Anna: She froze my heart and only an act of true love can save me. Hans: A true love's kiss. Oh, Anna. If only there was someone out there who loved you. Anna: What? [Hans gets up and walks towards the window] You said you did. Hans: As thirteenth in line in my own kingdom, I didn't stand a chance. I knew I'd have to marry into the throne somewhere. Anna: But...what are you talking about? Hans: As heir, Elsa was preferable, of course, but no one was getting anywhere with her. But you... Anna: Hans? Hans: You were so desperate for love, you were willing to marry me, just like that. I figured, after we married, I'd have to stage a little accident for Elsa. Anna: Hans. No, stop. Hans: But then she doomed herself, and you were dumb enough to go after her. Anna: Please. Hans: All that's left now is to kll Elsa and bring back summer. Anna: You're no match for Elsa. Hans: No, you're no match for Elsa. I, on the other hand, am the hero who is going to save Arendelle from destruction. Anna: You won't get away with this. Hans: Oh, I already have. Anna: Please, somebody help. Please. Please! Duke: It's getting colder by the minute. If we don't do something soon we'll all freeze to death. Hans: Prince Hans. Princess Anna is...dad. Spanish Dignitary: What...? Duke: What happened to her? Hans: She was klled by Queen Elsa. Duke: No! Her own sister. Hans: At least we got to say our marriage vows...before she died in my arms. Duke: There can be no doubt now, Queen Elsa is a monster and we are all in grave danger. Spanish Dignitary: Prince Hans, Arendelle looks to you. Hans: With a heavy heart, I charge Queen Elsa of Arendelle with treason and sentence her to death. Guard #1: Hurry Up! She's dangerous. Move quickly. Guard #2: Be careful. Guard #3: It won't open! Guard #4: It's frozen shut. Kristoff: What is it, buddy? Hey, watch it. What's wrong with you? I don't understand you when you talk like that. Ah! Stop it! Put me down! No, Sven! We're not going back! She's with her true love. What the... Anna! Come on! Come on, boy! Anna: Help. Olaf: Anna! Oh, no. Anna: Olaf? Olaf, get away from there. Olaf: Whoa! So this is heat. I love it. Ooh! But don't touch it! So, where's Hans? What happened to your kiss? Anna: I was wrong about him. It wasn't true love. Olaf: But we ran all the way here? Anna: Please, Olaf, you can't stay here, you'll melt. Olaf: I am not leaving here until we find some other act of true love to save you. Do you happen to have any ideas? Anna: I don't even know what love is. Olaf: That's okay, I do. Love is putting someone else's needs before yours. Like, you know, how Kristoff brought you back here to Hans and left you forever. Anna: Kristoff loves me? Olaf: Wow, you really don't know anything about love, do you? [the fre starts to melt his face and he pushes his nose back in] Anna: Olaf, you're melting. Olaf: Some people are worth melting for. Just maybe not right this second! Don't worry, I've got it! We're going to get through... Oh, wait. Hang on. I'm getting something. It's Kristoff and Sven! They're coming back this way. Anna: They...they are? Olaf: Wow, he's really moving fast. I guess I was wrong. I guess Kristoff doesn't love you enough to leave you behind. Anna: Help me up, Olaf. Please. Olaf: No, no, no, no, no. You need to stay by the fre and keep warm. Anna: I need to get to Kristoff. Olaf: Why? Oh, I know why! There's your act of true love right there! Riding across the fjords like a valiant, pungent reindeer king! Come on! Look out! Uh...back this way! Slide, Anna! We made it! Kristoff: Come on, buddy, faster! Anna: Kristoff! Olaf: Keep going! Anna: Kristoff! Kristoff: Come on! Anna: No! Kristoff: Sven! Good boy. Anna: Kristoff. Kristoff. Kristoff: Anna! Hans: Elsa! You can't run from this! Elsa: Just take care of my sister. Hans: Your sister? She returned from the mountain weak and cold. She said that you froze her heart. Elsa: No. Hans: I tried to save her, but it was too late. Her skin was ice, her hair turned white. Your sister is d*ad...because of you. Elsa: No. Anna: Kristoff? Kristoff: Anna! Anna: Elsa? No! Elsa: Anna! Oh, Anna. No..no, please, no. Olaf: Anna? Elsa: Anna? Anna: Oh, Elsa. Elsa: You sacrificed yourself for me? Anna: I love you. Olaf: An act of true love will thaw a frozen heart. Elsa: Love will thaw... Love. Of course. Anna: Elsa? Elsa: Love. Anna: I knew you could do it. Olaf: Hands down, this is the best day of my life...and quite possibly the last. Hans: Anna? But she froze your heart. Anna: The only frozen heart around here is yours. French Dignitary: I will return this scoundrel to his country. We shall see what his twelve big brothers think of his behavior. Kai: Arendelle thanks you, my Lord. Duke: This is unacceptable. I'm a victim of fear. I have been traumatized. Ow! My neck hurts! Is there a doctor that I could see? No? I demand to see the Queen! Kai: Oh, I have a message from the Queen. Arendelle will henceforth and forever no longer do business of any sort with Weaseltown. Duke: Weselton! It's Weselton! Anna: Come on, come on, come on. Come on, come on, come on. Come on... Kristoff: Ow! Okay, okay. Here I come. Ah! Pole! Anna: Oops. Sorry. Okay. Okay. Here we are. I owe you a sled. Kristoff: Are you serious? Anna: Yes! And it's the latest model. Kristoff: No. I-I can't accept this. Anna: You have to! No returns. No exchanges. Queen's orders. She's named you the official Arendelle Ice Master and Deliverer. Kristoff: What? That's not a thing. Anna: Oh, sure it is. And it even has a cup holder. Do you like it? Kristoff: Like it? I love it! I could kiss you! I could. I mean, I'd like to. I'd...may I? We me...I mean, may we? Wait, what? Anna: We may. Olaf: Summer! [he notices some flowers] Ooh. Hello. Elsa: Are you ready? Anna: I like the open gates. Elsa: We are never closing them again. Anna: Oh, Elsa, they're beautiful, but you know I don't skate... Elsa: Come on, you can do it! Kristoff: Look out, reindeer coming through! Anna: I got it. I got it. Ooh! I don't got it! I don't got it! Olaf: Hey, guys. Elsa: That's it, Olaf. Olaf: Glide and pivot and glide and pivot...	{"type": "movie", "show": "Frozen (2013)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
(SCENE: HARRY IS DRESSED IN A POLICE OFFICER'S UNIFORM; McCALLISTER FAMILY IS QUICKLY ENTERING AND EXITING) Harry: Miss. Young lady! Excuse me. Girls! Hey, hey, little guy. Hey! Excuse me, girls. Girls! Hey, big fella! Excuse me. Ma'am, excuse me. Ma'am! Ma'am! Hey, son. Son! Big fella. Hey, hey hey, little guy, little guy! Help me make the beds in the living room. Come on down here! Hey, son! Big fella. Hey, little guy! Little guy! Pete's brother and his family are here. Trish is going to Montreal. Montreal? Oh, her family's there. - Then we're off. - When? - Tomorrow. - You're not ready, are you? Kevin: Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie, but the big kids can. Why can't I? Kate: Kevin, I'm on the phone. (Back on the phone) When do you come back? Not 'til then? Kevin: It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk. Kate: Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no, then it must be really bad. No, we put the dog in the kennel for the-- (Kevin gets on the bed and starts reading a magazine) Hey hey hey, get off! Kevin, out of the room. Kevin: Hang up the phone and make me, why don't ya? Kate: This kid. (Peter enters) Peter: Kate, did you pick up a voltage adaptor thing? Kate: No, I didn't have time to do that. Kevin: Then how do I shave in France? Kate: Grow a goatee. Kevin: Dad, nobody'll let me do anything. Peter: You don't have anything to do? I have something for you to do. You can pick up those MicroMachines that are all over in there. Aunt Leslie stepped on one of them and almost broke her neck. Kate: He was in the garage again playing with the glue gn. Peter: Didn't we talk about that? Kevin: Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. I was making ornaments out of fish hooks. Peter: My new fish hooks? Kevin: I can't make them out of old ones, with dry worm guts stuck on them. Kate: Peter...? Peter: Come on, Kevin. Out. (Peter picks up Kevin; enter Leslie) Leslie: Peter, Kate, do you guys have a voltage adaptor? Peter: Here! Here's a voltage adapter! (He gives Kevin to Leslie) Leslie: Oh God, you're getting heavy! (Drops Kevin) Go pack your suitcase. Kevin: Pack my suitcase? Do you know where the shampoo is, Fuller? Fuller: I don't live here. I don't believe. in a house with this many people, there's no shampoo. Harry: Are your folks home? Yeah, but they don't live here. (Walks up the stairs while Tracy walks down; Exit ?) Tracy, did you order the pizza? Tracy: Buzz did. Harry: Excuse me, Miss? Are your parents home? Tracy: My parents live in Paris, sorry. (Exit Tracy, enter Sondra) Harry: Hi! Sondra: Hi! Harry: Are your parents home? Sondra: Yeah. Harry: Do they live here? Sondra: No. (Exit Sondra) Harry: No. Why should they? All kids, no parents. Probably a fancy orphanage. Kevin: I don't know how to pack a suitcase. I've never done this once in my whole life. Jeff: Tough. Kevin: That's what Megan said. (Enter Megan) Megan: What did I say? Jeff: You told Kevin "Tough." Megan: The dope was whining about a suitcase. What was I supposed to say? "Congratulations, you're an idiot"? Kevin: I'm not an idiot! Megan: Oh, really? You're completely helpless! Everyone has to do everything for you. Jeff: She's right, Kev. Kevin: Excuse me, puke-breath. I'm a lot smaller than you. I don't know how to pack a suitcase. (Enter Linnie) Linnie: I hope you didn't just pack crap, Jeff. Jeff: Shut up, Linnie. Kevin: Do you know what I should pack? Jeff: Buzz told you, cheek-face. Toilet paper and water. (Exit Jeff) Linnie: Listen, Kevin, what are you so worried about? You know Mom's gonna pack your stuff, anyway. You're what the French call "les incompetents". Kevin: What? Jeff: bmb away! (Jeff throws bag that lands right at Harry's feet.) Linnie: P.S.: You have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he's going to wet the bed. (Exit Linnie) Kevin: This house is so full of people. It makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone! Did you hear me? I'm living alone! I'm living alone! Rod: Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone? Buzz: He just ate a load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple of weeks. Is it true French babes don't shave their pits? Rod: Some don't. Buzz: But they got nude beaches. Rod: Not in the winter. (Enter Kevin) Kevin: Buzz? Buzz: Don't you know how to knock, phlegm-wad? Kevin: Can I sleep in your room? I don't want to sleep in the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed. Buzz: I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass. (Buzz looks out the window) Check it out. Old man Marley. (Rod, Kevin, and Buzz watch Old Man Marley outside Buzz's window) Rod: Who's he? Buzz: You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer? Rod: No. Buzz: That's him. Back in '58, he mrder his whole family and half the people on his block... with a snow shovel. Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since. Rod: If he's the shovel slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him? Buzz: Not enough evidence to convict. They never found the bodies. But everyone around here knows he did it. It'll just be a matter of time, before he does it again. Rod: What's he doing now? Buzz: He walks up and down the street every night, salting the sidewalks. Rod: Maybe he's just trying to be nice. Buzz: No way. You see that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies into mummies. Rod: Wow. Kevin: Mummies! (Old Man Marley looks up) Buzz: Look out! (Buzz closes the drapes) Harry: How you kids doing, huh? Good? Lot of action around here today, huh? Going on vacation? Where you going? You hear me, or what? Going on a trip? Where you going, kid? Pizza boy: Okay, that's $122.50. Harry: Not from me, kid. I don't live here. Pizza boy: Oh, you just around for the holidays? Harry: I guess you could say that. Frank: Hey, pizza's here! Pizza boy: There you go. That's $122.50. Frank: It's my brother's house. He'll take care of it. (All kids go into the kitchen) Harry: Hey, listen... (Enter Peter) Peter: Hey. Harry: Hi. Are you Mr. McCallister? Peter: Yeah. Harry: The Mr. McCallister who lives here? Peter: Yes. Pizza boy: Good, because somebody owes me $122.50. Harry: I'd like a word with you, sir. Peter: Am I under arrest or something? Harry: No, no, no, no. It's Christmas time. There's always a lot of burglaries around the holidays. So we're just checking the neighborhood to see if everyone's taking the proper precautions; that's all. Peter: Oh, yeah. Well we have atmatic timers for our lights, locks for our doors. That's about as well as anybody can do these days, right? Did you get some eggnog or something like that? (Enter Buzz) Buzz: Come on, Dad. Let's eat. (Exit Buzz and Peter) Harry: Eggnog? (Enter Kevin) Listen, are you going to be leaving...? Kevin: Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! Leslie: Grab yourself a napkin, and you're going to have to pour your own drinks. Mom, does Santa Claus have to go through customs? Fuller: What time do we have to go to bed? Frank: Early. We're leaving the house at 8 a.m. On the button. Kate: I hope you're all drinking milk. I want to get rid of it. Peter: Honey, the pizza boy needs $122.50, plus tip. Kate: For pizza? Peter: 10 pizzas times 12 bucks. Leslie: Frank, you've got money! Come on... Frank: Traveler's checks. Kate: Forget it, Frank. We have cash. Peter: You probably got the checks that don't work in France. Kevin: Did anyone order me a plain cheese? Buzz: Oh, yeah, we did. But if you want any, somebody's gonna have to barf it up, because it's gone. Leslie: Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi. Buzz: Kev! Kev, get a plate. (Buzz chokes on the cheese; Kevin pushes him into the table and Buzz barfs) Peter: Passports! (Peter spills Pepsi) Frank: Watch it! (Frank's chair is pulled out and hits Fuller; people start to clean up kitchen table quickly) Peter: No, no. Get these passports out of here. (Peter throws away a bunch of napkins, along with Kevin's airline ticket; Leslie picks Fuller up) Leslie: Are you okay, honey? Come here. Are you all right? (Kate grabs Kevin's hand) Kate: What is the matter with you? Kevin: He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose. He knows I hate sausage and olives... Frank: Look what you did, you little jerk! Kate: Kevin, get upstairs right now. Kevin: Why? Jeff: Kevin, you're such a disease. Kevin: Shut up! Peter: Kevin, upstairs! Kate: Say good night, Kevin. Kevin: "Good night, Kevin." (Exit Kevin & Kate, and Kate takes Kevin out of the room by his arm) Kevin: Why do I always get treated like scum? Kate: Oh, I'm sorry. This house is just crazy. We've got all these extra kids running around and my brother-in-law drove in from Ohio today. It's just nuts. (Kate hands Pizza Boy money) Kevin: How come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas? Pizza boy: Nice tip. Thanks a lot. (Exit Pizza Boy, enter Harry) Kate: Thanks. Harry: Having a reunion or something? Kate: Oh no. My husband's brother transferred to Paris last summer and both of his kids are still going to school here, and I guess he missed the whole family. (Harry smiles at Kevin, showing his gold tooth) He's giving us all this trip to Paris for the holidays, so we can be together. Harry: You're taking a trip to Paris? Kate: Yes. We hope to leave tomorrow morning. Harry: Excellent. Excellent. Kate: If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts. I'll be right back. (Kate and Kevin go upstairs) Harry: Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband already. And don't worry about your home. It's in good hands. (Exit Harry) Kate: There are 15 people in this house and you're the only one who has to make trouble. Kevin: I'm the only one getting dumped on. Kate: You're the only one acting up. Now get upstairs! Kevin: I am upstairs, dummy! (Kate opens the door to the third floor) The third floor? Kate: Go. Kevin: It's scary up there. Kate: Don't be silly. Fuller will be up in a little while. Kevin: I don't want to sleep with Fuller. You know about him: he wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it. Kate: Fine, we'll put him somewhere else. Kevin: I'm sorry. Kate: It's too late. Get upstairs. (Kevin walks up stairs and stops) Kevin: Everyone in this family hates me. Kate: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family. Kevin: I don't want a new family. I don't want any family. Families suck! Kate: Just stay up there! I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night. Kevin: I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't want to see anybody else either. Kate: I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family. Kevin: No, I wouldn't. Kate: Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen. Kevin: I hope I never see any of you jerks again. (Kevin walks upstairs, Kate closes the door) KEVIN (VOICE IN HEAD):I wish they would all just disappear. Van driver #1: Where are they? Van driver #2: I don't know. She said 8 sharp. Kate: Peter! (Peter and Kate both get out of bed quickly) Peter & Kate: We slept in! (Everyone gets up and starts getting ready and loading up the van; Mitch walks up to the vans) Mitch: Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy. I live across the street. You guys going out of town? We're going to Orlando, Florida. Well, first we're going to Missouri to pick up my grandma. You know the McCallisters are going to France? Do you know if it's cold there? Do these vans get good mileage? Van driver: Gee, kid, I don't know. ht the road! Kate: Heather, do a head count. Make sure everyone's in the vans. Where are the passports and tickets? Peter: I put them in the microwave to dry off. Mitch: How fast does this thing go? Does it have atmatic transmission? Does it have 4-wheel drive? Van driver: Look, I told you before, kid: don't bother me. Now, bat it! (Mitch stays in the back of the van; McCallister kids go outside) Heather: Line up in front of the van. Come on guys, line up and shut up! (Mitch opens a McCallister bag) Mitch: Wow! Heather: Shut up! I need a head count. 1-2-3-4-5... Buzz: 11, 92, 12... Heather: Buzz, don't be a moron. 6-7-8-9-10-11. Okay, half in this van, half in this van. Let's go. (Mitch gets out of the van while the McCallister kids get in) Mitch: Have a good trip. Bring me back something French. (Exit Mitch; enter Kate, Leslie, Peter and Frank) Frank: There's no way we'll make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes. Peter: Think positive, Frank! Frank: You be positive. I'll be realistic. (Adults get in the van) Electrical worker: Ma'am. Excuse me. I just wanted to let you know that your power is fixed, but the phone lines are a mess. It's going to take around a couple of days to patch them up, especially around the holidays. Kate: Okay, thanks. (Kate closes the van) Heather, did you count heads? Heather: 11, including me. 5 boys, 6 girls, 4 parents, 2 drivers... and a partridge in a pear tree. Peter: Hold the plane! Kate: Did we miss the flight? Airport Gate Agent: No, you just made it. (McCallisters cheer) Single seats only in coach. Take whatever's free. Peter: Kids are in coach, we're first class. Kate: Seats 4-A and B. Flight Attendant: 4-A and B. I'll take your coats. Fasten your seat belts, please. Frank: Champagne, please. It's free, isn't it? Flight Attendant: Oh, yes. Peter: We made it. Kate: Do you believe it? I hope we didn't forget anything. Kevin: Mom? Frank: That's real. It's real crystal. Leslie: Yeah, so? Frank: Put them in your purse. Leslie: Frank, I can't do that. Frank: Put 'em-- put 'em-- put 'em... Put them in your purse! (Enter flight attendant) Yeah. Fill it up-- fill it up-- Fill it up, please. Thank you. Kate: Don't you feel like a heel, flying first class with all of the kids back in coach? Peter: No. The kids are fine. The only flying I ever did as a kid was in the family station wagon, and it wasn't to France. We used to have to go to Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur's house. The kids are okay. They're having the time of their lives. Kevin: Hello? Mom? Dad?... Mom? Dad? Where are you guys? Kevin: Buzz? Buzz? Buzz? Megan? Kevin: Hello? Rod? Uncle Frank? Uncle Frank, is this a joke? Megan? Linnie? Is this a joke? (Noise comes from the furnace) It's only my imagination... only my imagination. Kevin: The cars are still here. They didn't go to the airport?! Kevin: I made my family disappear. Megan: Kevin, you're completely helpless. Linnie: You know, Kevin, you're what the French call, "les incompetents." Buzz: Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula. Jeff: Kevin, you are such a disease. Kate: There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble. Frank: Look what you did, you little jerk! Kevin: I made my family disappear? Kevin: No clothes on anybody. Sickening! Cool! Firecrackers! I'll save these for later. Buzz, I'm going through all your private stuff... you better come out and pound me! (Kevin finds a picture of Buzz's girlfriend) Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof! (Kevin sees Buzz's bee-bee gn hanging on his wall) (CUT TO KEVIN IN THE LIVING ROOM WATCHING "ANGELS WITH FILTHY SOULS") Johnny: Who is it? Snakes: It's me. Snakes. I got the stuff. Johnny: Leave it on that doorstep and get the hell out of here. Snakes: All right, Johnny, but what about my money? Johnny: What money? Snakes: Acey said you had some dough for me. Johnny: Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? Snakes: Acey Said ten percent. Johnny: Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more. Kevin: Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me! Johnny: He'll call you when he gets out. (Pause) Hey. I'll tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property... before I pump your guts full of lead. Snakes: All right, Johnny, I'm sorry. I'm going. Johnny: 1, 2, 10! (Johnny sh*t and kills Snakes while laughing) Keep the change, you filthy animal. (Kevin pauses the film) Kevin: Mom! Peter: What's the matter? Honey? Kate: I have a terrible feeling. Peter: About what? Kate: That we didn't do something. Peter: You feel that way because we left in such a hurry. We took care of everything. Believe me, we did. Kate: Did I turn off the coffee? Peter: No. I did. Kate: Did you lock up? Peter: Yeah. Kate: Did you close the garage? Peter: That's it. I forgot to close the garage. That's it. (Kate sits back, still thinking) Kate: No, that's not it. Peter: What else could we be forgetting? Kate: Kevin! Flight Attendant: The captain's doing all he can, but your phones are still out of order. Leslie: We'll call as soon as we land, Kate. I'm sure everything's okay. Frank: It's horrible, horrible. Just horrible. Kate: How could we do this? We forgot him. Peter: We didn't forget him, we just miscounted. Kate: What kind of mother am I? Frank: If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses. Harry: 5 families gone on one block alone. They all told me from their own mouths. Marv: It's almost too easy. Harry: Check it out. All the houses with nobody home have atmatic timers on their lights. But I got it all figured out. Watch this. Number 664 will be going on right about... now. (Lights come on) Wait, wait, wait... number 672, right now. (Lights come on) Wait a minute, wait a minute. 671... now. (Lights come on) And that's the one, Marvin. And that's the silver tuna. Marv: It's very G. Harry: Very G, huh? It's loaded. It's got lots of top-flight goods. Stereos, VCRs... Marv: Toys? Harry: Probably looking at some very fine jewelry, possible cash horde, odd marketable securities... Who knows? It's a gem. Grab your crowbar. (Each of them grab a crowbar) Crowbars up. (They clink crowbars) (CUT TO McCALLISTER HOUSE; "THE GRINCH" IS ON TV; KEVIN IS ASLEEP) You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch. You're the king Of sinful sots. Your heart's a dad tomato, blotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch. (CUT TO HARRY AND MARV'S VAN DRIVING UP TO KEVIN'S HOUSE; KEVIN WAKES UP AND SEES THEM AS THEY'RE TRYING TO SNEAK IN) Marv: Which way? Harry: We'll go around back, down the basement. Come on, follow me. (Marv tries to break in with his crowbar; Kevin goes to the basement turning on all the lights) Marv: I thought you said they were gone. Harry: They were supposed to leave this morning. Marv: Let's get out of here. (Exit Harry and Marv) Kate: Miss, we have to use the phone, please. I'm sorry, it's an emergency. We really have to make a call. Linnie: Please! Our brother's home alone. (Kate takes the phone away from her) Megan: Just give us the phone! Kate: Thank you. I'm sorry, but thank you. (Exit woman) Peter, I'm going to call the police. Why don't you book us a flight home? (Kate gives her purse to Linnie) Here, get some change out of here. Call everybody you know. (Kate gets her address book out of her purse) Oh, Leslie... here's my address book. You and Frank call everybody that's on our street. Maybe somebody can help us. (Kate gets on the phone, hearing a man speaking in French) What am I doing? Oh, hello? Hello? Oh, she'll have to call you back. Kevin: This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed. And I can't be a wimp. I'm the man of the house. Kevin: Hey, I'm not afraid anymore! I said, I'm not afraid anymore! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid anymore. (Enter Old Man Marley; Kevin sees him standing right in front of him with his shovel and his can of salt; Kevin screams and runs back in the house, runs upstairs frantically and hides under the sheets of the bed) Rose: Village Police Department. Kate: Yeah, hi, look. I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone. Our phones there are out of order so I'd like somebody to go over to our house, tell him that we're coming home to get him. Rose: Okay, let me connect you with the Family Crisis Intervention. Kate: No, this is not a family crisis. Rose: Hold on. (Female operator knocks on Larry's window) Larry, can you pick up? There's some lady on hold, sounds kind of hyper. Larry: What line, Rose? Rose: Two. (Larry picks up the phone) Larry: Family Crisis Intervention, Sergeant Balzac. (Larry takes a bite out of his doughnut) Kate: I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone. Larry: Has the child been involved in a violent altercation with a drunk, injured, or mentlly ill member of his immediate family? Kate: No! Larry: Has he been involved in a household accident? Kate: I don't know. I d-- I hope not. Larry: (Takes another bite out of his doughnut) Has the child ingested any poison and/or any other object lodged in his throat? Kate: No! He's just home alone! And I'd like somebody to go over to the house to see if he's all right. Just to check on him. Larry: You want us to go to your house, just to check on him? Kate: Yes! Larry: Let me connect you to the Police Department. Kate: No, they just transferred me to you. Larry: Rose! Rose: Yeah. Larry: Hyper on 2. Hold on, please. (Larry puts Kate on hold and hangs up) Kate: No, please don't hang up. Please! Any luck? Linnie: No. We couldn't get anybody. (Enter Leslie) Kate: Leslie? Leslie: Sorry, Kate. Nothing but a bunch of answering machines. (Kate gets back on the phone) Kate: Somebody pick up. Pick up! Rose: Oh, hi, ma'am. It's you again. Kate: Yeah hi, look, I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone, and I... Rose: Okay, okay, we'll send a policeman over to your house to check on your son. (CUT TO POLICEMAN DRIVING TO THE HOUSE; KNOCKING ON THE DOOR SEVERAL TIMES; KEVIN CONTINUES TO HIDE UNDER THE COVERS) Officer 1: (Officer is on his walkie talkie) There's no one home. The house looks secure. Tell them to count their kids again. Officer 2: 10-4. Peter: I can't believe you can't bump somebody or ask somebody... Agent: I'm sorry, but there's no way I can do that. Peter: Well, isn't there a way like if you ask somebody? I mean, if you brought somebody up here and explained to them that this is an emergency... Agent: I wish I could, but I cannot ask someone... (Enter Kate) Kate: They're sending a policeman over to the house to check on Kevin. Peter: Well, that's a relief. Everything here is booked. Kate: There's nothing to Chicago? Peter: There's nothing to Chicago, New York, Nashville, you name it. Everything's gone. Kate: What about a private plane? Agent: No, I'm sorry. We don't do that. Peter: The only thing is a booking for all of us on Friday morning. Kate: Friday morn-- That's two days away. Peter: Look, honey. The kids are exhausted. You are exhausted. There's absolutely nothing more that we can do at this airport. Now I say we go over to Rob's, and that way we can call the police again. And they can get back to us. Kate: Peter, Kevin is there all by himself. I'm not leaving here unless it's on an airplane. Agent: Madame, we are doing everything we can. Now, if you want to stay at the airport, maybe we can get you on standby. It is a possibility that a seat will open up. Peter: Is that okay? Kate: Yes. I'll wait. Kate: Bye. I'll miss you, honey. (Peter and Kate hug) Peter: Don't you get lost. (Kate waves goodbye to the rest of the McCallister family) Kevin: I took a shower, washing every body part with natural soap, including all my major crevices between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used creme rinse. I can't find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up today. Other than that, I'm in good shape. (Kevin puts on aftershave and screams out of agony) Kevin: All right! Buzz's life savings. (BUZZ'S TARANTULA COMES OUT OF THE CAGE) (CUT TO KEVIN WALKING OUT OF THE HOUSE; HE FINDS HARRY AND MARV'S VAN OUTSIDE THE MURPHY HOUSE) Kevin: I thought the Murphys went to Florida. (Kevin shrugs and continues walking) Harry: You know you're one of the great cat burglars of the world, Marv? You think you can keep it down a little in there? (Phone rings) JACK MURPHY:(On the voicemail) Hi, you've reached the Murphy's. Please leave a message after you hear the beep. Peter: Jack, this is Peter McCallister again. We're in Paris at my brother's apartment. Let me give you the number here, okay. The country code is 3-3. The area code is 1-4 and the number is 694-876... Marv: Hey, Harry. Harry: Yeah? Marv: That house we were at last night, was that the McCallister's? Harry: Yeah. Marv: You're right. They're gone. Harry: I knew they were. Marv: Silver tuna tonight. (Harry looks an expensive toy, seeing all kinds of shapes and colors when you flip turn the knobs) Harry: Wow! Cashier: How may I help you? Kevin: Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association? (Kevin hands her the toothbrush) Cashier: Well, I don't know. (Cashier looks at the back of it) It doesn't say, hon. Kevin: Can you please find out? Cashier: Herb. Herb: Yeah? Cashier: I've got a question here about a toothbrush. (Enter Old Man Marley) Do you know, is this brush approved by the American Dental Association? Herb: I don't know. (Old Man Marley slams his hand on the counter; Kevin locks eyes with Old Man Marley, he walks backwards with the toothbrush heading out the door) Cashier: Oh, hon, you pay for that here. Wait, son, you have to pay for that toothbrush. Son! Son! (Kevin rushes out of the store) Hey! Jimmy, stop that boy! (Jimmy runs out) Jimmy: Hey! Hey! (Jimmy spots a police officer, who is writing up someone a ticket nearby) Shoplifter! Kevin: I'm a criminal. Harry: What's so funny? What's so funny? What are you laughing at? You did it again, didn't you? You left the water running, didn't you? What's wrong with you? Why do you do that? I told you not to do it. Marv: Harry, It's our calling card! Harry: Calling card. Marv: All the great ones leave their mark. We're the wet bandits. Harry: You're sick, you know? You're really sick. Marv: I'm sick...? Harry: Yes, you are. Marv: I'm not sick. Harry: It's a sick thing to do! Harry: We don't need that ca-- Marv: Don't tell me what to do. I can do it if I want to. It's not sick. Hey, watch out! (Kevin freezes in the middle of the road; Harry slams on the brakes; Kevin screams; Harry rolls down his window as Kevin continues to walk fast) Harry: Hey! Hey! You've gotta watch for traffic, you know...? Kevin: Sorry. Harry: Damn. Marv: Santy don't visit the funeral homes, buddy. (Kevin nods) Harry: Okay, okay. Merry Christmas. (Harry smiles, showing his gold tooth; Kevin gasps and walks off slowly) Marv: What's the matter? Harry: I don't like the way that kid looked at me. Did you see that? Marv: You ever seen him before? Harry: I saw a hundred kids this week. Marv: Let's see what house he goes into. (Harry follows Kevin slowly; Kevin looks back to find Harry and Marv whistling and looking away from him; Kevin starts running; Harry and Marv continue to follow him) Marv: Why's he going faster? Harry: I told you something's wrong. See, I knew he looked at me weird. Why would he run? (Kevin disguises himself right outside the church) Marv: Maybe he went in the church. Harry: I'm not going in there. Marv: Me neither. Harry: Let's get out of here. (Kevin gets out of his disguise and starts to run home) Kevin: When those guys come back, I'll be ready. Marv: Did they come back? Harry: From Paris? Harry: We'll come back tomorrow. Maybe they'll be gone by then. We better get out of here before somebody sees us. (Exit Harry and Marv; Kevin looks out the window smiling) Frank: Attencion! Attencion! Look what I found in the kitchen. GEORGETTE:Frank, those are for later. Frank? (Frank ignores Georgette and hands out shrimp to kids) Frank: Mes petits enfants, do you want a little shrimp, huh? Peter: Do you speak English? Parlez Anglais? Well, is there... Did you get anybody? (Speaking in French) I am looking for my son! Do you know where he is?! (Peter talking to Frank) No, I can't find anybody. They're all shopping. Nobody's home for the holidays. (Back on the phone) Never mind, forget it. Megan: This is so pointless. Buzz: What? Megan: We're here rotting in this apartment. Kevin's at home. Mom's at the airport. Buzz: So? Megan: You're not at all worried about Kevin? Buzz: Why should I be? He's acted like a jerk one too many times and this time he caught it in the butt. Megan: He's so little and helpless. Don't you think he's flipped out? Buzz: The little trout can use a couple of days in the real world. Megan: You're not at all worried something might happen to him? Buzz: No. For three reasons: A. I'm not that lucky, 2: We have smoke detectors, and D: we live in the most boring street in the United States of American, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period. Johnny: Who is it? Pizza boy: It's Little Nero's, sir. I have your pizza. Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep and get out of here. Pizza boy: Okay. But what about the money? Johnny: What money? Pizza boy: Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir. Johnny: Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? Pizza boy: That'll be $11.80, sir. (Kevin sneaks $12 from the bottom of the door) Johnny: Keep the change, you filthy animal. Pizza boy: Cheapskate. Johnny: Hey. I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yellow no-good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1, 2, 10. (gn soundbytes and Johnny laughing scare the Pizza Boy; Pizza Boy crashes into garbage cans and runs away frantically and drives off; Kevin opens the door, picks up the pizza and smells it) Kevin: A lovely cheese pizza, just for me. (Kevin closes the door) Kate: So we have the $500, the pocket translator, the two first-class seats; that's an upgrade from your coach... Irene: Is that a real Rolex? Kate: Do you think it is? Irene: No. Kate: But who can tell? I also have a ring. Irene: Oh, that is beautiful! Ed: Come on, Irene. They're boarding. Irene: This gal has offered us two first-class tickets if we go Friday, plus a ring, a watch, a pocket translator, $500 and... Kate: The earrings. You love the earrings Ed: She's got her own earrings. A whole shoebox full of them. Dangly ones. Come on. Irene: No, but... (They are about to leave) Kate: I'm desperate. I'm begging you. From a mother to a mother. Please! Irene: Oh, Ed. Kate: Please! Ed: Oh, all right. JOHNNY CARSON:"Dear Santa, I got a little sister last year. This year I'd rather have some Clay-Doh." (Kevin looks at a family portrait) Kevin: I didn't mean it. If you come back, I'll never be a pain in the butt again. I promise. Good night. (Kevin kisses the portrait and puts it under his pillow) "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas Just like the ones I used to know Where those treetops glisten And children listen To hear sleigh bells in the snow The snow" Kevin: Are those microwave dinners good? Kelly: I don't know. Kevin: I'll give them a whirl. (Kelly holds up attck Force action figures) For the kids. (Kelly scans an orange juice) Hold on, I got a coupon for that. (Kevin hands Kelly the coupon) It was in the paper this morning. Kelly: $19.83. Kevin: Okay. (Kevin reaches in his pocket and gives her money) Kelly: Are you here all by yourself? Kevin: Ma'am, I'm 8 years old. You think I'd be here alone? I don't think so. Kelly: Where's your mom? Kevin: My mom's in the car. Kelly: Where's your father? Kevin: He's at work. Kelly: What about your brothers and your sisters? Kevin: I'm an only child. Kelly: Where do you live? Kevin: I can't tell you that. Kelly: Why not? Kevin: Because you're a stranger. Kevin: Shut up! (The furnace turns off) Harry: I don't get it. Right now, it looks like there's nobody home. Last night the place was jumping. Something ain't right. Go check it out. (Long pause while Harry waits for Marv to check it out) Marv: Now? Harry: No, tomorrow, egghead! Now! Go ahead. (Exit Marv) "Now." Marv: Shit! (Marv picks up his shoe from inside the house; Kevin plays "Angels with Filthy Souls") Johnny: Get the hell out of here. Snakes: All right, Johnny. But what about my money? (Marv listens closely) Acey Said you had some dough for me. Johnny: Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? Snakes: Acey Said ten percent. Johnny: Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more. Snakes: What do you mean? (Kevin takes a pot from the kitchen and puts it near the door opening) Johnny: He's upstairs, taking a bath. He'll call you when he gets out. Hey, I tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. (Kevin takes firecrackers and a torch) Marv: Snakes? Johnny: I'm going to give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead. Snakes: All right, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm going. Johnny: 1, 2, 10. (gn soundbytes and firecrackers scare MARV; Pizza Boy jumps over the garbage cans, ducks, then frantically runs to the van; Kevin mouths off the next words) Keep the change, you filthy animal. Harry: What happened? Marv: I don't know who, but somebody just got blown away. Harry: Huh? Marv: Somebody bat us to the job, they're in there. 2 of them. There was arguing. One blew the other one away. Harry: Who? Marv: I don't know. I thought I recognized one of their voices. And I know I heard that name "Snakes" before. Harry: Snakes? Snakes. Snakes. I don't know no Snakes. Marv: Snakes! Let's get out of here. (Harry is about to start the car) Harry: Hold it. Hold it. Let's wait and see who it is. We work this neighborhood, too. Supposing the cops finger us for a job, and they start asking us questions about a mrder in the area. Wouldn't it be nice to have a face to go with their questions? Marv: That's a good idea. Harry: Of course it's a good idea. Snakes! Marv: He sounded like a snake. Agent: Everything's full. Kate: Everything's full? Agent: I'm very sorry, but it is Christmas Eve. Kate: What about another airline? Agent: Nothing available. May I help you get a hotel room in the city? Tomorrow afternoon, we can get you a flight to Chicago. Kate: I can't wait that long. Agent: I'm terribly sorry, ma'am, but we're doing absolutely everything we can. (Signals the next person in line to come to the counter) Kate: Go ahead. Wait, I'm sorry. Excuse me. You've got places to go, people to see. You've got a ticket there. That's good. Excuse me. Look, I have been awake for almost 60 hours.I'm tired and I'm dirty. I have been from Chicago to Paris, to Dallas, to... Where the hell am I? Agent: Scranton. Kate: I am trying to get home to my 8-year-old son. And now that I'm this close, you're telling me it's hopeless? Agent: I'm sorry. Kate: No. No, no, no, no way. This is Christmas! The season of perpetual hope. Agent: Ma'am if... Kate: And I don't care if I have to get on your runway and hitchhike. If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the Devil himself, I am going to get home to my son. Agent: Ma'am, if there was anything at all I could do... Kate: Do it. Do anything. Agent: I can get you a hotel room... (Enter Gus) Kate: What?! Gus: Excuse me. Can you excuse us for a second please? Can I see you for a second, please? Excuse us. I couldn't help but hear you got a little bit of a dilemma there. We got a crisis ourselves. (Gus laughs) Allow me to introduce myself. Gus Polinski. How are you? Polka King of the Midwest? The Kenosha Kickers? (The Kenosha Kickers wave hello) That's okay. I thought you might have recognized-- anyways. I had a few hits a few years ago. That's why I thought-- "Polka, Polka, Polka"? (Gus sings) Polka, polka, polka. (Gus stops singing) No? "Twin Legs Polka" "Yamahoozie Polka," a.k.a. "Kiss Me Polka"? "Polka Twist"? Kate: These are songs? Gus: Yeah. Yeah, we... Some fairly big hits for us. You know, in the early '70s. Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that. Kate: In Chicago? Gus: No, Sheboygan. Very big in Sheboygan. They love us-- Kate: I'm sorry, did you say you could help me? Gus: Anyway, I'm rambling on here. Our flight was canceled, so we got to drive. See the guy in the yellow jacket over there? He's going to rent us a nice big van and we're going to drive to Milwaukee. Now, I heard you had some problems getting to Chicago? To see your kid or something? Kate: My son. He-- We left, and he's there. Gus: Oh, jeez. If you have to get to Chicago, we'll gladly drive you. It's on the way to Milwaukee. Kate: You'd give me a ride? Gus: Sure we would, why not? You know, you've got to get home to see your kid. Kate: A ride to Chicago? Gus: Sure, you know, it's Christmastime. Kate: Thank you. Oh, thank you. Gus: If you don't mind going with polka bums? Kate: No, I'd love to. Harry: Hey, Marv. Marv, Marv! Marv: Wha...? Harry: Look at this. (Kevin saws off the top part of the tree) I think we're getting scammed by a kindergartner. Kevin: Dad, can you come here and help me? (Exit Harry) Harry: Remember that kid we saw the other day? He lives here. Marv: If the kid's here, the parents got to be. (Harry shakes his head) Harry: He's home alone. (Exit Mar and Harry; Kevin runs away fromt he scene inside the house) Marv: What? You want to come back tonight? Harry: Uh-huh. Marv: Even with the kid here? Harry: Uh-huh. Marv: I don't think that's a good idea. Harry: Look, that house is the only reason why we started working this block in the first place. Ever since I laid eyes on that house, I wanted it. So let's take it one step at a time. (Kevin overhears them as he open up a window) We'll unload the van, get a bite to eat, we'll come back about 9 o'clock. Kevin: 9 o'clock. Harry: This way it's dark then. Marv: Yeah, kids are scared of the dark. Harry: You're afraid of the dark too, Marv. You know you are. Marv: No, I'm not. Harry: Yes, you are. Marv: Not, not, not. Harry: You are so. (Exit Harry and Marv) Kevin: Mom, where are you? Gus: Do you play? (Kate shakes her head) Do you want to try? Go ahead, try it. Try it! Kate: No. Gus: All right. (Gus continues to play with the Kenosha Kickers) Kevin: Excuse me. "Elf": Yeah? (Kevin looks down) Kevin: Hey, nice shoes. "Elf": Oh, thanks. Kevin: Is he still here? It's really important that I see him. "Elf": Well, he's getting in his car. If you hurry, you can catch him. Chris: Damn! How low can you get giving Chris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve! What's next, rabies shts for the Easter Bunny? Kevin: Santa, hold on. (Chris puts out his cigarette) Can I talk to you for a minute? Chris: Make it quick. Santa's got a little get-together he's late for. Kevin: Okay, I know you're not the real Santa Claus. Chris: What makes you say that? Just out of curiosity. (Chris fixes his beard) Kevin: I'm old enough to know how it works. Chris: All right. Kevin: But I also know you work for him. I'd like you to give him a message. Chris: sht. Kevin: I'm Kevin McCallister, 671 Lincoln Blvd. Do you need the phone number? Chris: No, that's all right. Kevin: Okay, this is extremely important. Would you please tell him that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back. No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie and Jeff. And my aunt and my cousins. And if he has time, my Uncle Frank. Okay? Chris: Okay. I'll see what I can do. Kevin: Thanks. (Turns around) Chris: Wait. My elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend. Kevin: That's okay. Chris: No, don't be silly. Everybody who sees Santa has got to get something. Here, hold out your little paw there. (Chris gives Kevin 3 tic-tacs) There you go. Don't spoil your dinner. Kevin: I won't. Thanks. (Exit Kevin; Chris starts his car and starts to drive off, but he gets stuck) Chris: Son of a...! Old Man Marley: Merry Christmas. (Kevin has a confused look on his face) May I sit down? (Kevin nods; Old Man Marley sits down) There's my granddaughter up there. The little red-haired girl. She's about your age. You know her? Kevin: No. Old Man Marley: You live next to me, don't you? (Kevin nods) You can say hello when you see me. You don't have to be afraid. There's a lot of things going around about me, but none of it's true. Okay? (Kevin nods) You've been a good boy this year? Kevin: I think so. Old Man Marley: You swear to it? Kevin: No. Old Man Marley: I had a feeling. Well, this is the place to be if you're feeling bad about yourself. Kevin: It is? Old Man Marley: I think so. Kevin: Are you feeling bad about yourself? Old Man Marley: No. Kevin: I've been kind of a pain lately. I said some things I shouldn't have. I really haven't been too good this year. Old Man Marley: Yeah. Kevin: I'm kind of upset because I really like my family, even though sometimes I say I don't. Sometimes I even think I don't. Do you get that? Old Man Marley: I think so. How you feel about your family is a complicated thing. Kevin: Especially with an older brother. Old Man Marley: Deep down, you'll always love him. But you can forget that you love him. You can hurt them, and they can hurt you. That's not just because you're young. You want to know the real reason why I'm here right now? Kevin: Sure. Old Man Marley: I came to hear my granddaughter sing. And I can't come hear her tonight. Kevin: You have plans? Old Man Marley: No. I'm not welcome. Kevin: At church? Old Man Marley: You're always welcome at church. I'm not welcome with my son. Years back, before you and your family moved on the block, I had an argument with my son. Kevin: How old is he? Old Man Marley: He's grown up. We lost our tempers, and I said I didn't care to see him anymore. He said the same, and we haven't spoken to each other since. Kevin: If you miss him, why don't you call him? Old Man Marley: I'm afraid if I call that he won't talk to me. Kevin: How do you know? Old Man Marley: I don't know. I'm just afraid he won't. Kevin: No offense, but aren't you a little old to be afraid? Old Man Marley: You can be a little old for a lot of things. You're never too old to be afraid. Kevin: That's true. I've always been afraid of our basement. It's dark, there's weird stuff down there, and it smells funn; that sort of thing. It's bothered me for years. Old Man Marley: Basements are like that. Kevin: I made myself go down to do some laundry, and I found out it's not so bad. All this time I've been worried about it, but if you turn on the lights, it's no big deal. Old Man Marley: What's your point? Kevin: My point is, you should call your son. OLD MAN MARLEY: What if he won't talk to me? Kevin: At least you'll know. Then you could stop worrying about it. Then you won't have to be afraid anymore. I don't care how mad I was, I'd talk to my dad ad. Especially around the holidays. Old Man Marley: I don't know. Kevin: Just give it a sht, for your granddaughter anyway. I'm sure she misses you, and the presents. Old Man Marley: I send her a check. Kevin: I wish my grandparents did that. They always send me clothes. Last year I got a sweater with a big bird knitted on it. Old Man Marley: Oh, that's nice. Kevin: Not for a guy in the second grade. You can get bat up for something like that. Old Man Marley: Oh? Kevin: Yeah. I have a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas. Old Man Marley: You better run along home where you belong. Think about what I said. All right? Kevin: Okay. Old Man Marley: It's nice talking to you. Kevin: Nice talking to you. (Old Man Marley and Kevin shake hands) What about you? Old Man Marley: Me? Kevin: Yeah. You and your son. Old Man Marley: We'll see what happens. Merry Christmas. Kevin: Merry Christmas. (KEVIN NOTICES THE TIME AND RUNS HOME) This is my house. I have to defend it. Harry: Okay, we'll check it out first. We can always come back for the truck. (Harry and Marv get out of the truck) Marv: How do you want to go in? Harry: We'll go to the back door. Maybe he'll let us in. You never know. Marv: Yeah, he's a kid. Kids are stupid. Kevin: Bless this highly nutritious, microwaveable macaroni and cheese dinner, and the people who sold it on sale. Amen. (The clock strikes 9:00; Kevin blows out the candles; Kevin grabs Buzz's beebee gn; Kevin loads the gn) Kevin: This is it. Don't get scared now. (Kevin stands back, as Marv and Harry enter the back door; Harry knocks on the door) Harry: Merry Christmas, little fella. We know that you're in there, and that you're all alone. Marv: Yeah, come on, kid. Open up. It's Santy Claus and his elf. Harry: We're not gonna hurt you. (The beebee gn comes out of the door opening) Marv: No, no. Got some nice presents for you. Harry: Be a good little fella now and open the door. (Kevin sht Harry's crotch; Harry screams in agony) Marv: What? (Harry continues to scream) What? What? (Harry looks at Marv) What? What happened? Harry: Get that little... (Marv goes to the door; puts his head in the door opening) Kevin: Hello. (Kevin sht Marv in the forehead; Marv screams in agony) Yes! Yes! Marv: The little jerk is armed! Harry: That's it! That's it! I'm going in the front. You go down the basement! (Exit Harry and Marv) Marv: Ow! (Marv picks himself up using his crowbar to the window; Marv slips again and the crowbar falls on his head) Oh, boy. That's it, you little... You little... No, not this time, you little brat. Where are you, you little creep? Where are you? (Harry puts his hands on a heated doorknob; Harry screams in agony, falls down and crawls down the stairs and puts his ice in the snow; Harry takes his hand out of the snow) Kevin: Yes! Yes, yes yes yes yes! Kevin: Yes! Yes, yes yes yes yes! Harry: I'm going to rip his head off! (Harry kicks the door opening to make sure the gn isn't there anymore; he spits on his hand and touches it quickly to make sure it isn't hot.) You're dad, kid. (Harry opens the door, which pulls a string and turns on a blowtorch on the top cupboard, lighting Harry's head is now on fre; Harry screams in agony and eventually sticks his head in the snow) Harry: Where are you, you little creep?! Marv: Harry, I'm coming in! Kevin: Oh, no! I'm really scared. Harry: It's too late for you, kid, we're in the house. We're gonna getcha. Kevin: Okay, come and get me! (Kevin flips a notch of the fan and runs away) Harry: Why, you... (Harry walks into a glued plastic wrap) Now you're dad! (Harry walks into a string that turns on the fan that blows feathers into his face) Marv: I'm gonna kll that kid! (Harry is trying to get the feathers off his face; Marv continues to limp through the living room) Harry: Marv! Marv: Harry? Harry: Why the hell did you take your shoes off? Marv: Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken? Kevin: (from upstairs)I'm up here, you morons. Come and get me. (Harry and Marv slip on a bunch of toy cars at the front of the stairs) You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more? (Harry steps on Marv as he walks up the stairs; Marv quickly follows him; Kevin throws a paint can that's connected by a string on the railing) Harry: Heads up! Marv: Huh? (The paint can hits Marv in the face; Marv falls off the stairs and to the ground; Harry turns to Marv) Harry: Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for you. (Marv tries to warn Harry, Harry turns around; a second paint can hits Harry and he falls on Marv) Kevin: Yes! (Kevin jumps over a piece of rope) Marv: He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him. Harry: Ah, shut up, will you? Marv: Ooh... Harry: What is it? Marv: You're missing some teeth. Harry: Where? It's my gold tooth. My gold tooth. I'll kll him. I'll kll him! (Harry and Marv get up and go up the stairs) You bmb me with one more can, kid, and I'll snap off your cajones and boil them in motor oil! OPERATOR: 911 emergency. Kevin: (in a disguised voice)Hello, my house is being robbed. My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard. My name is Murphy. Harry: Watch it. You never know what's up there. (Kevin jumps up) There he is! (Harry flips over the rope landing on his back; Marv jumps over the rope, leaps, and grabs the bottom of Kevin's leg) Marv: Ah! I got you! I got him, Harry. I got him! (Kevin spots the tarantula; Kevin attempts to reach for the tarantula) Harry, get up. Give me a hand! I got him! Harry, help me. Get up! (Kevin finally gets the tarantula) I got him. (Kevin places the tarantula on Marv's face; Marv screams in fear as Kevin runs up the stairs; Marv catches the tarantula off his face and tosses it on Harry's abdominal area) Harry: What are you doing, Marv? Marv: Harry, don't move. Harry: Marv? Marv: Don't... move. Harry: Marv, what are you doing? (Marv raises his crowbar) Marv? (Marv hits Harry in the chest, and misses the tarantula; Harry screams in agony) Marv: Did I get him? (The tarantula crawls away) Did I get him?! Where is it? (Marv checks his face) Where is it? Harry: Never mind that. Here! How do you like it, huh? (Harry hits Marv on the side 3 times) You jerk! Get that kid, before I... Get that kid! (Harry and Marv go upstairs) Harry: Where'd he go? Marv: Maybe he committed su1c1de. Kevin: Down here, you big horse's ass! Come and get me before I call the police! Marv: Let's get him! Harry: Wait, wait. Just what he wants us to do: is go back downstairs through his fun house so we get all tore up. Marv: He's gonna call the cops! Harry: He's not calling the c-- from a tree house?! Come on. (Harry wraps a white handkerchief around his hand as he comes out of the window) Marv: Out the window? Harry: Yeah. Marv: I'm not going out the window. Harry: Why, are you scared, Marv? Are you afraid? Come on, get out here. (Marv comes out of the window but keeps looking down) Come on. Come on! Come on. Keep going. Marv: Let's go back, Harry. Harry: Shut it, Marv. (Kevin comes back with hedge sheers; he places them on both sides of the rope as if he's going to cut it) Kevin: Hey, guys? Check this out. Harry: Go back. Go back. (They start going back; Kevin cuts the rope; Marv and Harry swing from the rope into the brick wall of the McCallister house, landing on the snow) Harry: There he is! You're letting him get away... (Kevin runs for the Murphy house; he stops while Marv and Harry chase him) Marv: There he is! Kevin: Hey, I'm calling the cops! Harry: Wait, wait! He wants us to follow him. I got a better idea. Come on. (Harry and Marv take another route) Harry: Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time. (Harry snatches Kevin) Get over here! (Marv slams the doors; Marv and Harry hang him by the sweater onto a coat hanger) Marv: What are you gonna do to him, Harry? Harry: We'll do exactly what he did to us. We're going to burn his head with a blowtorch. Marv: And we're going to smash his face with an iron. (Enter Old Man Marley with a shovel) Harry: I'd like to slap him in the face with a paint can, maybe. Marv: And shove a nail through his foot! Harry: The first thing I'm gonna do is bite off every one of these little fingers, one at a time. (Old Man Marley hits Marv in the back of the head with the shovel; Harry turns around; Old Man Marley hits Harry with the shovel) Old Man Marley: Come on. Let's get you home. (Old Man Marley takes Kevin off the coat hanger and carries him home) Kevin: (from his window at the McCallister House)Wow! This is great. (Officers have Marv and Harry in cuffs as they walk out the the front of the house) Officer #1: Nice move: always leaving the water running? Now we know each and every house that you've h*t. (Harry looks at Marv, shaking his head) OFFICER #2: Hey, you know, we've been looking for you guys for a long time. Marv: Yeah. Well, remember, we're the "Wet Bandits." "Wet Bandits:" that's W-E-T-- Harry: Shut up! (Harry kicks Marv) Shut up! (Marv gets in the police car) Officer #1: Hey, come on. Come on. (Officer attempts to put Harry in the back of police car) Harry: Hands off the head, pal! Officer #1: Come on. (Officer #1 gets Harry in the car; police drive off; Harry sees Kevin from the back of the police car; Kevin waves to him) Kate: I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent. Gus: You're not. You know, You're beating yourself up there, you know. This happens. These things happen, you know. Gee, you want to talk about bad parents? Look at us. We're on the road 48, 49 weeks a year. We hardly see our families. You know, Joe, over there. Gosh, you know, he forgets his kids' names half the time. Ziggy over there, he's never even met his kid. Eddy: let's just hope none of them write a book about him. Kate: Tell me, have you gone on vacation and left your child home? Gus: No. But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once. Yeah, it was terrible, too. I was all distraught and everything. The wife and I, we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor all day. All day. You know, we went back at night, when we came to our senses, there he was. Apparently, he was there all day with a corpse. Now, he was okay. You know, after 6, 7 weeks. He came around and started talking again. But he's okay. They get over it. Kids are resilient like that. Kate: Maybe we shouldn't talk about this. Gus: You brought it up. I was just trying to cheer you up. Kate: I'm sorry I did. Kevin: Mom? Mom? Mom? (Kevin doesn't find anyone; Kevin looks outside and doesn't find anyone and closes the door; seconds later, the truck pulls up to the McCallister House) Kate: Kevin? Kevin! (Kevin places down the portrait and starts walking downstairs; Kate realizes what Kevin did around the house; Kate finds Kevin; Kevin turns aroundand sees his mom) Kate: Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry. (Kevin smiles and runs to her; Kevin and Kate hug) Kevin: Where's everybody else? Kate: Oh, baby, they couldn't come.They wanted to so much... (Enter Kevin's immediate family) Buzz: I didn't fall asleep in the back and drool all over you, did I? Megan: You do drool! Buzz: Shut up! Peter: Kevin, my boy. How are you? (Peter picks up Kevin) You're all right. I love you. You okay? Buzz: Hey, Kev. It's pretty cool that you didn't burn the place down. Kevin: Thanks, Buzz. (Buzz and Kevin shake hands) Kate: Wait a minute. How did you guys get home? Peter: Oh, we took the morning flight, remember? The one you didn't want to wait for. Kate: Oh, no. Oh! Thank you. Peter: Merry Christmas. Kate: Merry Christmas. Someone has to find an open store. We don't even have milk here. Kevin: I went shopping yesterday. (Long pause) Jeff: You, shopping? Kevin: I got some milk, eggs, and fabric softener. Kate: What? Peter: No kidding. What a funny guy. What else did you do while we were away? Kevin: Just hung around. (Everyone laughs) Kate: You guys, bring your stuff upstairs. Buzz: He went shopping? He doesn't know how to tie his shoe. He's going shopping? (Exit everyone except Kevin, as he walks to the window; Peter finds Harry's gold tooth) Peter: Honey, what's this? (CUT TO KEVIN OPENING THE DRAPES TO FIND OLD MAN MARLEY UNITED WITH HIS FAMILY; OLD MAN MARLEY HUGS HIS GRANDDAUGHTER; OLD MAN MARLEY WAVES TO KEVIN; KEVIN WAVES TO OLD MAN MARLEY; OLD MAN MARLEY'S FAMILY WALKS AWAY)	{"type": "movie", "show": "Home Alone", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) BATMAN: Black. All important movies start with a black screen. And music. Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous. And logos. Really long and dramatic logos. Warner Bros. Why not "Warner Brothers"? I don't know. (THUNDER RUMBLING) DC. The house that Batman built. Yeah, what, Superman? Come at me, bro. I'm your Kryptonite. Hmm. Not sure what RatPac does, but that logo is macho. I dig it. Okay. Get yourself ready for some reading. "If you want to make the world a better place" "take a look at yourself and make a change." "Hooo." No. I said that. Batman is very wise. I also have huge pecs and a nine-pack. Yeah, I've got an extra ab. Now, let's start the movie. BILL: Gotham Tower, this is McGuffin Airlines, Flight 1138. We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 17,000 pounds of C-4, about 150 cute little classic bmb-type bmb, and two best friends! And request permission to fly over the most crime-ridden city in the world. Over. I'm just looking at all the guys' faces here in the control tower. I'm good. Sounds good to me. Do it! Yeah, as long as they're best friends. Thumbs up! Yep, I think we're cool with that. (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) LEAD CRIMINAL: Gentlemen, seal breach in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! What was that? One of us should check it out. Okay. BOTH: Scissors, paper, rock. Paper. Scissors. Ha! You always do paper. I'm a loser at home and a loser at work. Holy cow! (SCREAMS) (MUZAK PLAYING) Captain Dale, is everything okay? LEAD CRIMINAL: I am afraid Captain Dale had to bail. I'm your new co-pilot. And I always come to work with a smile! You should be terrified. Why? Because I will be taking over the city. Mmm... What? Batman will stop you. (BLOWS RASPBERRY) He always stops you. No, he doesn't. What about that time with the two boats? This is better than the two boats. Mmm... Well, tonight is gonna be different! Tonight is my greatest plan yet. And trust me, Batman's never gonna see it coming. BILL: Like that time with the parade and the Prince music? JOKER: Hey, quiet! Good night, Steve. Take it easy, Jeff. Man, I really like that guy. I sure hope nothing bad happens to him. (JEFF WHISTLING) (SINGING) Nothing bad ever happens to me What the... JOKER: Your city is under attck by Gotham's greatest criminal minds. Including The Riddler. (LAUGHING) Scarecrow. Pizza delivery. (GROANS) Bane. Hello. Two-Face! We need that door open, baby! Catwoman. Meow, meow. You're in! Meow, meow. SECURITY GUARD: I'm jumping out of the way! (HONKING) JOKER: And let's not forget, Clayface. (ROARING) (IMITATING gn fring) Poison Ivy. (IMITATES gn fring) Freeze! MR. FREEZE: No! You freeze! JOKER: Mr. Freeze! Penguin, Crazy Quilt, Eraser. Polka-Dot Man, Mime, Tarantula. King Tut, Orca, kller Moth, March Harriet, Zodiac Master, Gentleman Ghost. Clock King, Calendar Man, Kite-Man, Catman, Zebra-Man, and the Condiment King. Okay, are you making some of those up? Nope, they're all real. Probably worth a Google. Hey, watch it! Commissioner Gordon! What is it, O'Hara? We just got a report! All the Z-grade villains have broken into the energy plant! What are we gonna do, sir? The only thing we ever do. Flip the switch to the Bat-Signal! Flip! OFFICER: (ON RADIO) Commissioner, are you there? The Bat-Signal, she's been egged! (GIGGLING) O'HARA: It's Egghead, sir. I'm well aware of his work. Dear gosh. You've destroyed the Bat-Signal. You have thought of everything. Yeah, I know! And when I take over Gotham City... ENERGY PLANT COMPUTER: Opening reactor core doors. JOKER:...Batman will grovel at the feet of his greatest enemy! Me! The Joker! (LAUGHS) Joker, do you read me? 10-4, girl buddy. We're ready for you, sugar plum. Well, then, let's raise the roof! BANE: fre in the hole! (SIRENS WAILING) O'Hara, have you tried the Bat-Phone? Yes, but all I'm getting is this hold music. (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) I love it. (TIRES SCREECHING) I want snpers trained on that building! You bet! I want water and air support, yesterday! Ahoy, sir! And I need SWAT here now! OFFICER: Phone call for Commissioner Gordon. Hello? Batman? Hi, Jimmy! It's the Jokes. Oop! Nobody calls you that. (SCOFFS) Yes, people do call me that. Okay, listen up. ALL: Go, go, go! JOKER: At this very moment, an unnecessarily complicated bmb is being attached to the inside of the main energy core. If the mayor isn't here in five minutes to negotiate the city's surrender, then I shall destroy Gotham City. I did something! PIPPA: Doctor, that sounds frightening and overly complicated. Talk us through it. Well, I don't wanna scare any small children who may be listening, but it's a little-known fact that Gotham City is built on a bunch of flimsy plates stuck together. There's literally nothing beneath us, except an infinite abyss that smells like dirty underwear. If Joker's bmb were to go off, these plates would break apart, plunging every Gotham citizen into the eternal abyss forever. JOKER: And you wouldn't want that, now would you? Now get me the mayor! Joker out! Madam Mayor, I cannot ask you to do this! Jim, did you find Batman? No, ma'am. Then we have no choice. The Joker has the upper hand. We have to surrender Gotham City. GORDON: Oh, no. I'm sorry! PILOT: Flying the mayor package in right now. SWAT LEADER: SWAT team, get your stun gn ready! Non-lethal. BOTH: Yeah! PILOT: Lowering mayor package through hole. JOKER: Madam Mayor! Thanks for dropping by. (SCOFFS) I've only got one thing to say to you, Joker. Well, you better make it fast. Do you like to gamble? Oh, I certainly do. Do you ever play roulette? On occasion. Well, let me give you a word of advice. I'm all ears. When playing roulette... Yes? ...always bet on black. Batman? What are you doing? You're completely outnumbered here! Are you nuts? You wanna get nuts? Come on! Let's get nuts! 'Cause I just wrote a song about how I'm gonna kick all your butts! Stop him before he starts singing! (HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGING) Yeah! In the darkest night I make the bad guys fall There's a million heroes Computer, overcompensate. But I'm the best of them all PUTER: I'm on my way, sir. Who has the coolest gadgets? Batman! Who has the tricked-out ride? Batman! Who does the sickest backflips? Batman! Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Batman! Yeah, hey, hey! Batman jam! Da-Na, da-Na, da-Na, da-Na Batman! You think my muscles are big? Thank you. You haven't seen my brain Ladies, it's okay if you stare Why? 'Cause I'm a billionaire Get it together, guys! You're making me look bad in front of Batman! 'Puter, where's the bmb? PUTER: The bmb is located at the base of the energy core. What the... I get the last laugh, I get the final grin Throw you into the asylum With Harley Quinn Turn Two-Face To black-and-blue face I 100% am not Bruce Wayne! Kiss me, Batman. Who's the manliest man? Ugh! Batman! With the buns of steel? Batman! 'Puter. Who could choke-hold a bear? Batman! Who never skips leg day? Batman! Who always pays their taxes? Not Batman How is he beating all of you again? (GROANS) Because... Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm Batman! It's gonna blow! I'm Batman! Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm Batman! Hi, Batman! So weird to keep running into you. Batman! Looks like your plan failed. Well, it's only a matter of time before I take over Gotham City. When has that ever happened? Computer! PUTER: Calculating. Never. You know why? (YELPS) Because I'm always one step ahead of you. And I always get away! Not this time. 'Cause this time I got you. Oh, yeah? Well, there's only one problem. Who's gonna defuse the bmb? It's gotta be one or the other, Batman. Save the city, or catch your greatest enemy. You can't do both. I'm sorry, what did you just say? You can't do both, I said. No, I mean the other thing. Save the city, or catch your greatest enemy. You think you're my greatest enemy? Yes! You're obsessed with me! (BLOWS RASPBERRY) No, I'm not. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. Yes, you are! Who else drives you to one-up them the way that I do? Bane. No, he doesn't! Superman. Superman's not a bad guy! Then I'd say that I don't currently have a bad guy. I am fighting a few different people. What? I like to fight around. Okay, look, I'm fine with you fighting other people if you wanna do that, but what we have is special. So, when people ask you "Who's your number one bad guy?" you say... Superman. Are you seriously saying that there is nothing, nothing special about our relationship? Whoa. Let me tell you something, J-bird. Batman doesn't do 'ships. What? As in "relationships." There is no "us." Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You mean nothing to me. No one does. (bmb TIMER BEEPING) (GRUNTING) (SNIPS) Hurray! Batman! (ALL CHEERING) You did it! You're welcome. Thank you, Batman. Oh, my pleasure. WOMAN: Batman, we love you! Thank you! I'm blushing super hard under the mask. Grazie, Batman! (BLOWS KISS) Prego. MAN: You're the best, Batman! Oh, I'm humble. Thanks, Batman! I'm super modest about it. Thank you. Batman, you're the greatest! Oh, pray hands, pray hands. WOMAN: Thanks for saving the city! You're welcome. MAN 1: Batman, I love you more than my kids! BATMAN: So do I, guy! (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) MAN 2: You're our hero, Batman! (LAUGHS) I love my life. Computer. PUTER: Go ahead. BATMAN: Are we near the orphanage? Yes. Great. Let's turn those frowns upside down. (HONKING BATMAN THEME) That sounds like the Batmobile. No way! Hey, orphans! Look who's here! (ORPHANS CLAMORING) It's Batman! Hey, kids. Who wants a sht from the merch gn? ALL: I do, I do, I do! Great! Kaboom! I got a lunchbox! Kaboom! I got a sippy cup! Kaboom! I got a Batarang! And the rest of you get Bat Bucks. Kaboom! (ALL CHEERING) Remember, kids, if you want to be like Batman, take care of your abs. Batman out! ORPHANS: (CHANTING) Batman! Batman! Batman! (HONKING BATMAN THEME) Thanks, Batman. You're my hero! (UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) Whoo! (LAUGHING) PUTER: What is the password? Iron Man sucks. Thank you. It must be great to be Batman. I can only imagine he is going home right now to party the night away, surrounded by scores of friends and lady tennis players. (BATS SQUEAKING) Hey, Computer. I'm home. (ECHOING) PUTER: Welcome home, sir. Initializing Batcave operating system. Hey, 'Puter. What's up, Batman? Put this bmb in the museum. Certainly, sir. Thank you. No worries. Anything exciting happen when I was gone? You have four pieces of mail. Great, what'd I get? You have this week's Pennysaver, two bills, and a coupon for Bed Bath and Beyond. It expires in two weeks. But I've heard that some stores will honor them past the expiry date. Copy that. Also, Alfred is on the 17th floor, grouting tiles in the second bathroom of the fifth master bedroom. Do you want me to tell Alfred you're home? No, that's cool, Computer. Thanks for the update. I should probably have some dinner. Alfred left your lobster thermidor in the fridge. Oh, that's my favorite. I can't wait. Oh, not 20 minutes. Stupid. (SIGHS) (SMACKS LIPS RHYTHMICALLY) (STRUMMING) (CLEARS THROAT) (PLAYING GUITAR SOLO) Oh, wait. There, which one is, uh... Okay. (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) JERRY MAGUIRE: You complete me. (LAUGHS) DOROTHY BOYD: (SNIFFLES) Shut up. You had me at hello. (LAUGHING) Love it! (SIGHS) Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. I, uh... I saved the city again today. I wish you could have seen me. I think you would have been really proud. There you are! (GRUNTS) Oh! Alfred! I am so sorry. I have incredible reflexes. No, it's all my fault, sir. I should have known better than to sneak up on you like that. Sorry, I was just lost in thought, and as you know, when I'm in there, I'm in deep. Were you looking at the old family pictures again? At the what? The old family... Oh, yes! I see what you mean. Look at that! The old gng. Yeah. No, I wasn't. I see. Sir, if you don't mind my saying, I'm a little concerned. I've seen you go through similar phases in 2016 and 2012 and 2008 and 2005 and 1997 and 1995 and 1992 and 1989 and that weird one in 1966. Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now? I don't talk about feelings, Alfred. I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent. And if you think that there's something behind that, then you're crazy. Good night, Alfred. Sir, it's morning. (HISSING AND GROANING) Master Bruce, you live on an island, figuratively and literally. BATMAN: Yeah. I love it. You can't spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, listening to angry music, and staying up all night. Yes, I can, 'cause I'm Batman. But don't you think it's time you finally faced your greatest fear? Snakes? No. Clowns? No. Snake clowns? Bruce, listen. Your greatest fear is being a part of a family again. Nope. Now it's snake clowns, because you put that idea in my head. Sir? Time for push-ups! One, two... We're going to 1,000. I'm afraid that's not possible, sir. It is possible. I'm already at 20. You're scheduled to go to Jim Gordon's retirement party. What? No. I don't wanna do that. You're going to have a great time! No, no, no. You might meet some new people! No, no, no! You could even make some new friends. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. (BEATBOXING) No! And before you go, we can do your favorite thing. (GASPS) Tuxedo dress-up party. (DISCO MUSIC PLAYING) (LAUGHS) Sir, aren't you forgetting something? Nope. Your cowl. My what, now? (SIGHS) Your armored face disguise? Fine. Happy now? Indubitably. Good. Must be nice to be happy. PIPPA: Tonight, on Metropolis in Focus, we have our favorite star, Superman! What up, Gotham! (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Superman, tell me. How do you feel about your recent banishment of Zod to the Phantom Zone? Yeah, look, Pippa, it's... It's complicated. Okay? Zod and I, we've had some pretty epic battles over the years. (SIGHS) I don't believe I would be Superman without fighting Zod. See? Superman gets it. Why can't Batman? Check it out, guys. I built a CD rack. Ta-da! And how am I supposed to get Batman's respect when I'm working with these human farts? Boo-boo, look at me. You're too good for Batman. He needs to open his eyes and see what it feels like when you're not around. Okay? Yeah, Pippa. I couldn't put Zod in a regular prison, right? He's Zod. Come on! No, he needed to go someplace where he could never harm Metropolis ever again. The Phantom Zone. PIPPA: Ah, yes, the notorious space jail that houses the greatest super-villains of all time. They've got, like, the sickest baddies up there. They got, like, this guy. And her. WICKED WITCH: I'll get you, my pretty! SUPERMAN: To say nothing about him. VOLDEMORT: Wingardium Leviosa! SUPERMAN: And these guys. DALEKS: Exterminate! I'm starting to get an idea, monkey face. (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) (CROWD CHEERING) REPORTER: Bruce, over here! Okay, shutterbugs. Look alive, here we go. I'm gonna give you three poses. You ready? Kissy face. Oops, I did it again. And the Bad Boys. What you gonna do? I'm out of here, guys. Thank you. Congresswoman. Mr. Wayne, good to see you. Senator, looking great. Bruce. (SINGING) I'm starting with the man in the mirror Bruce, any advice for the new commissioner? Long as he knows how to push the button for the Bat-Signal, he'll be fine. Bruce, I don't know how you did it. You can't prove it, you didn't do it. Mr. Wayne, so great to see you! Come and join us! Mr. Prime Minister. Did you have some work done? No way! Bruce Wayne! He's the greatest orphan of all time. ALL: (SINGING) Shamon, Shamon Nice to see you, Mr. Ambassador. Mr. Wayne! You want a picture? That would be swell! Here we go. Party face! (CAMERA CLICKS) Boom. Keep it. Whoa! Thanks, Mr. Wayne. Call me Bruce, champ. I'm just so jazzed to meet you, sir. I'm sorry, did you say "jazzed"? Yes! My name's Richard Grayson, but all the kids at the orphanage call me Dick. Well, children can be cruel. Yeah. Great to see you, Bruce. Nice to see you, sir. So, I had a question for you, sir. Okay, ht me with it. Do you have any advice on how to get adopted? Oh, yeah. Oh, you do? Mr. Wayne, can I get an autograph? Sure. Um, all right, for example, is teeth whitener a good idea? Yes. There you go, pal. Thanks! Really? Oh, yeah. Looking good, Bruce. Thank you so much. How about eyeliner or a foreign language? Try both. Bueno. Look, it's the new commissioner! Where? Oh, she's with the mayor! Okay. Let's see. Here she is, everyone! Oh, my darling! Hi, Dad. (GASPS) (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) DICK: Mr. Wayne? Should I get experimental surgery to make my eyes larger and more vulnerable-looking? Uh, do that. (LAUGHING) Uh, Mr. Wayne? Are you currently in the market to adopt a child? Yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. (LAUGHS) Wow. Are you looking for more of a base model orphan or one that has more upgraded features? Yep. Like cooking or driftwood art? Gymnastic abilities? Yep. Yep. Close-up street magic à la David Blaine? All of it sounds great. Really? Because all of it sounds like me. Mr. Wayne, do you think you'd be interested in adopting me as your future orphan son? Definitely. Oh, this is great! Because all I want is to get adopted, so I can finally stop being alone. McCASKlLL: We've gathered here tonight to mark the retirement of Jim Gordon. Goodbye. And we wish him well on his South African jungle safari! (ALL CHEERING) Thank you. Now, to introduce you to his exciting new replacement. Everyone, meet your new commissioner! (POP MUSIC PLAYING) ANNOUNCER: Meet Barbara Gordon! The new commissioner of Gotham City! Whoa! She was top of her class at Harvard for Police. She cleaned up the streets of Gotham's nearby sister city Blüdhaven using statistics and compassion. And now she's bringing her new ideas and her nunchucks to Gotham City. Congratulations, darling. Thanks, Dad. Here she is, everyone! Thank you! Thanks! Hurray! REPORTER 1: Ms. Gordon, over here! REPORTER 2: Big smile! Wow. Thank you for the oversized key to Arkham Asylum. And, uh, what's this? Thank you for the switch to the Bat-Signal. Nice. (CLEARS THROAT) Dad, you've always done a great job protecting Gotham City. Flip! (CHUCKLES) That's me. Thank you. Along with Batman, of course. Whoo! Let's hear it for Batman! Who I wish was here right now. BRUCE: Oh, I'm sure he's listening. I'd like to ask all of you a question. Are you fed up with crime? Uh-huh. We're all tired of crime. Yeah, we're sick of it. Great. Then let's talk about real improvements that will end the cycle of crime. I've got a four-point pilot program that I'd love to share with you. I wanna hear all four points. It's called... I am ready. It takes a village... Best opening to a title ever. Not a Batman. Waiter. Sir? Can I? Of course. Thank you. My pleasure. Thanks so much. (GULPING) What? Look. Batman's been on the job for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time. He has aged phenomenally. However, despite all the great work Batman has done for us, Gotham City is still the most crime-ridden city in the world. She's got a great point. Interesting. Historically speaking, that is accurate. He hasn't captured Riddler. MAN: You know, she's right. He hasn't captured Bane. Huh! Or Catwoman. Or Two-Face, or any of Gotham's other villains! He's not good at his job. Including the Joker! She's making a lot of sense. (CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me. I'm so sorry. Excuse me. (CLEARING THROAT) MAN: We love you, Barbara! Yes. Hi. Bruce Wayne. Billionaire, bon vivant, gallivanter, playboy, Gotham's most eligible bachelor, like, 90 years in a row. That's me right there. I know who you are, Mr. Wayne. You bet you do. Quick quest, what is your problem with Batman, and also, what the heck, dude? I'm glad you asked, Mr. Wayne. I'm not a Batman hater. But we don't need an unsupervised adult man karate-chopping poor people in a Halloween costume. We need to take what's good about Batman... ...and marry it to actual laws and proper ethics and accountability. I hate everything you just said. Because my dream is for the police force to team up with Batman. Waiter. Wouldn't that be better? (BRUCE SPITTING) And I know that, together, the world's greatest detective... (JOKER GIGGLING) ...and Gotham's finest could clean up these crime-ridden streets. (CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING) (GIGGLING CONTINUES) Forever. BOTH: Everybody, get down! (PEOPLE SCREAMING) Grand entrance! (IMITATES gn fring) Everyone! Make your way to the exits immediately! WOMAN: Run! Team Bane, block the exits. Going somewhere? Clayface, Freeze, bring me the new Commissioner Gordon. We're on it. Cool. And, Harley, you know what to do. I sure do. It's time for Operation "Take Out the Laundry." (GRUNTS) Butler One, this is Bat One. Do you copy? Go ahead, Bat One. I need my armored face disguise, now! Only if you say the magic word. Now! No. You're fired. No. Sir, we'll talk about this back at the Batcave. Hey, 'Puter. PUTER: Yes? Initialize masterbuild music. Right away. Collateral damage assessment suggests the Scuttler, sir. Good plan. (GRUNTS) Madam Mayor, stay close to me. Head for the south exit. Now, ma'am. (GROANS) Go! Go! Go! Honey, let Batman take care of it. Dad, I got this. (GRUNTING) PUTER: Scuttler online. Chief O'Hara, we're coming in hot! I'm almost there. (SCREAMS) BARBARA: Chief, get the mayor to safety. BATMAN: Computer, I've got the Joker in my sights. Team, I got the Joker in my sights. Joker! Joker. Uh, excuse me? I was about to... Push the Bat-Signal? Good call. I like your instincts. JOKER: I've got a surprise for you guys. And it's gonna make you smile. Uh-oh! His smile is our grimace. Everybody, get down. I... Joker, no! ...surrender. What? Uh, what did you just say? I said, "I surrender." KING TUT: Joker, what are you doing? I'm sorry, my Bat-ears must be malfunctioning because it sounds... I surrender! Okay, you know what? Cool it. You're a criminal. (TUTTING) You run, and I catch you. Not anymore, Batman. You were right. There is no "us." So, there's no point in me trying to fight you anymore. Therefore, I will be surrendering myself to our strong-willed and forward-thinking new commissioner. Blink, blink, blink. Blinkety blink, blink, blink! That's really suspicious. Yeah, it is. What are you up to, Joker? I just wanna go to Arkham and pay for all of my crimes. Blink, blink, blink. Blinkety blink, blink, blink! Are you actually saying "blink"? No! Blink, blink, blink. Joker! That's enough. Okay, Babs. I got this. Not so fast, Batman. You can't fight me anymore. I'm off the market. What are you talking about? I'm off the menu. You won't get to fight any of this anymore. Man, am I sorry I asked. Anyway, have fun in jail and... Batman, what are you doing? (GRUNTS) Punching Bane. That was unnecessary. Oh, no, you can't fight Bane anymore either. Really? (BANE GROANS) Yeah. Or Riddler. (SUPER-VILLAINS GROANING) Or Catwoman. Or Condiment King. Why not? Because we're all surrendering. Right, guys? ALL: We are? Yes! (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) (SUPER-VILLAINS YELP) (ALL GASP) RIDDLER: Riddle me this. What just happened? It's the end of crime! All right! That was amazing! Over here, over here! You did it! Yeah, of course I did. I'm... Sorry, not you. We're talking to Commissioner Gordon. Well, it was a team effort. I got this, Babs. Commissioner, how do you feel? Amazing! This is a great first day. (SCOFFS) Okay. Question for Batman. sh*t. What are you gonna do with the rest of your life? What do you mean, the rest of my life? We don't need a vigilante crime fighter now that there's no more crime. Uh, yes, you do. You can spend some quality time with your family. My... Okay, Batman. We'll take it from here. All right, listen up. All of you have the right to remain silent. Let's roll out! PENGUIN: Toodle-oo, Batman! BANE: Bye, Batman. POISON IVY: Au revoir, Batman. CLAYFACE: Bye, Batman. JOKER: Bye, Batman! (SAD MUSIC PLAYING) Today is a victory for the citizens of Gotham City! ALL: (CHANTING) No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! No more crime! Is everything okay, sir? You've barely touched your lobster thermidor. I don't have time to eat lobster thermidor right now! (YELLS) JOKER: Warrior two. Pigeon pose. Tree pose. Tree pose. Hey, Batman! Barbara! What are you doing? Nothing. I have a very full life. No, I mean, what are you doing here? Surveillance. On the Joker. Batman, we both know the Joker's up to something. Well, then we can't just let him run around loose in a prison. He's not loose. He has to go someplace outside the law. Outside the law? Yeah. Somewhere like, uh... Hi, there. I'm here from Phantom's Own Laundry. Here to take that bad stuff off your hands. Wait, that's it! The Phantom Zone. The Phantom Zone? No way! That is super illegal and way outside our jurisdiction. So, why don't you and I work together inside the law, to figure out what he's up to? Batman works alone. That's my motto. Copyright Batman. (SIGHS) Batman, there are no more vigilantes allowed in Gotham City. Okay. Totally got it. Then I have to go into double-secret super vigilante mode. You said that out loud. I know that she said I said that out loud, but there's no way I did. She has no idea what's going on in my super-mind. Super-mind? (GASPS) Smoke bmb! Computer, how do I put the Joker in the Phantom Zone? Quickest route, no freeways. 'Puter, do you hear me? (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) Hello, Master Bruce. Alfred, there's something wrong with the Batcomputer. Watch this. 'Puter. Nothing. 'Puter. Do you see what I'm saying? There's nothing wrong with it, sir. I have just taken away your computer privileges. The parental lock? You can't do that. Oh, I can. I've been reading Setting Limits for Your Out-of-Control Child. You know what? Doesn't matter, 'cause I have a double-secret super password that unlocks the parental lock. You mean, "Alfred da Butt-ler," with two T's? (LAUGHS) Sir, it's time for you to stop this unhealthy behavior. No, it's not. You need to take responsibility for your life. Not right now, I don't. And it starts by raising your son. I'm sorry. I literally have no idea what you're talking about. The young orphan you adopted at the gala. Remember? (RICHARD WHOOPING) Wow! Stairs. Whee! He's been living here for the past week. Hello, table! Boom! ALFRED: And I must say, I've grown rather fond of the young lad. (WHISPERS) Hello, secret camera. ALFRED: You should get to know him. (SINGING) We are family You and he have a lot in common. En garde. Hello, family photos. ALFRED: He lost his parents at a very young age. I've always wanted one of those. Doesn't he deserve a chance for someone to take him under their wing, as I took you under mine? Alfred, you've been watching way too many Lifetime movies and drinking chardonnay. It's Pinot grigio, sir. Whatever it is. Listen, you don't have a family. You're satisfied serving me. So what do you know about having a surrogate son? Now, I'm gonna go fight crime while you put that kid on the next jet to the orphanage. Got it? (SIGHS) As you wish, sir. (WHISTLING) Whoops-a-daisy. (RICHARD GASPS) BATMAN: Wait, what are you doing? Dusting. You can't let him into the Batcave! I'm not. I'm letting him into your life via the Batcave. (WHOOPS) (GASPS) What? (GASPING) It's the Batcave! (BATS SQUEAKING) Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. (WHOOPING) (GASPS) Batman! Whoa! You're darn right, "Whoa." Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement? No. Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic. We can have sleepovers every night! No, we can't. Wow! Look, it's the Bat-Sub! Wait, don't touch that! Over there, it's the Bat-Space shuttle. Please, keep your hands off that. Look, it's the Bat-Zeppelin! Don't touch that either! It's the Bat-Train! No! It's the Bat-Kayak. No! It's the Bat-Dune buggy. No! It's the Bat shark repellent? Uh, actually, you can touch that. It's completely useless. Whoa! Thanks, Batman! Please, stand over there. And don't touch, look at, or do anything for the remaining moments you have in my presence. Okay, cool. Computer. Go ahead. How do I put the Joker in the Phantom Zone? PUTER: Joker can only be put in the Phantom Zone using the Phantom Zone Projector. Current location, Superman's Fortress of Solitude inside the Atomic Cauldron. However, only a person that isn't shredded, ripped, or extremely swoll can enter the cauldron. Ugh, I'm way too buff. PUTER: You also have beautiful abs, sir. That's my cross to bear. Additionally, once inside the cauldron, multiple Kryptonian defense systems engage, including the Acid Moat, Ring of Napalm, and the Jaws of Death. Chance of total mission failure is 110%. Those are not great odds. Wait a minute. Hey, kid. Yes, sir? You're super nimble, right? I sure am! And small? Very. And quiet? (WHISPERING) When I desire to be. And 110% expendable? I don't know what that means, but okay. Great. Follow me. We are gonna steal the Phantom Zone Projector from Superman. Steal? Yeah. We have to right a wrong. And, sometimes, in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. Gandhi said that. Are we sure Gandhi said that? I'm paraphrasing. Cool! PUTER: Preparing Fortress of Solitude infiltration gear. Wow! Look at all these! Do I get a costume for the mission, too? I got a feeling that you'll just look like a kid on Halloween. Don't you think? Don't touch that. (POP MUSIC PLAYING) Whoo-hoo! PUTER: El Mariachi. RICHARD: I like that one! That one is culturally insensitive. Night Terror. That one! BATMAN: No way. This one? PUTER: Death Merchant. BATMAN: No. I'm okay. This one. PUTER: fre Starter. This one. Clawed Reigns. Excali-Bat. This one? Silent but Deadly. BATMAN: Nope. Bat-ryshnikov. (WHOOPING) How do we feel about this one? Dress-up parties are for grown-ups only. Wait. What's that one there? BATMAN: That one was for the assignment called The Jamaican Caper. The locals called me Reggae Man. I love it! Ah! Feels like I was poured into this. My only trouble is, these pants are just a little tight. I don't know if I could throw a kick or jump in them. I got an idea. Rip! That's better! Now I'm free, now I'm moving. Come on, Batman. Let's get grooving! I can only look you in the eyes right now. Sir, what are you doing? What do you mean? Why is Master Dick dressed like that? How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met? To the Batmobile! Hot-diggity-dog! PUTER: Vehicle rotisserie engaged. Retrieving the Speedwagon. Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed. Hey, kid. Let's go. Oh, sht! What? I probably shouldn't leave until I get the thumbs up from my new old man, Bruce Wayne. Uh, yeah. Here's the thing. Bruno and I decided to share custody of you. So I get a say and you're mission approved. No way! Is this really happening? Yeah. Whoo-hoo! A month ago, I had no dads. Then I had one dad. Now I have two dads! And one of them is Batman! Yeah. (SINGING) It's raining dads! So, are you ready to follow Batman and maybe learn a few life lessons along the way? I sure am, Dad Two! But first, where's the seatbelt? The first lesson is, life doesn't give you seatbelts! Let's go! Whoo-hoo! Yes! (WHOOPING) Faster, Dad! Faster! Whoo! Yeah! Whoo! Yeah! RICHARD: Yes, yes, yes! (BRAKES SCREECH) (GROANS) Oh! Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry. Get back up in that seat. There you go. Hey, listen. As soon as I get back to the Batcave, I'll make sure that Alfred puts seatbelts on there, okay? But for the time being, I'm just gonna put my arm right here. And we're just gonna gently ease out of here. And here we go. Okay. Like all superheroes, Superman has zero friends, and he spends most of his time basking in sweet, sweet isolation, here at his alone palace. So, I'll keep him busy while you sneak into that vent and get the Projector. Got it? Copy that! Oh, here's an idea. I could also... Whoa, whoa. Don't even finish that thought. See this counter? These are all the good ideas Batman has. And no one else has ever had any good ideas. So don't even try. Your super power... (GASPS) ...is excellent listening and execution of my ideas. Let's try it out. Cool! Drop to the ground. Do a backflip. Do a front flip. Triple Axel. Plié. Relevé. Jeté. Pythagorean theorem. A squared plus B squared equals C squared. Physicalize it! A squared plus B squared equals C squared. How'd I do, Dad? Mediocre. Yes! And don't call me "Dad." Now, begin mission. Yes, Papa. "Papa" falls into the "Dad" category. (RICHARD GRUNTING) (SUPERMAN THEME PLAYING) 'Sup, Supes? (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (LAUGHS) Wow. It's Batman. And he's at my house. Right now. What are you doing here? Don't worry about it, dawg. I'm not here to throw down or anything. Uh, no, I would crush you. (SCOFFS) Okay. Sure, sure, sure. Hey, listen. Thank me later, but I just happened to be in the hood. And I figured that you could probably use the... (MUSIC STOPS) ...company. (FLASH COUGHS) Wait a minute. Are you... Are you having the "57th Annual Justice League Anniversary Party" without me? (MOUTHING) No. ALL: No! No! No! No! There must have been some mistake with the email. That's crazy, man. Totally! Yes, email mistakes happen all the time. Sometimes I don't get Superman's emails for years. Great point, G.L. Great point. All right. Well, that clears up everything, right? Enjoy the party, bro. ht it, DJ Wonder Dog. (BARKS) (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: (SINGING) I'm Superman at the super party I'm Superman at the super party Hey-hey Hey, Batman. Do you wanna take a quick pic? Sure. Where do you want me? Right there is perfect. Here's the camera. Oh. Okay, party people, get together. Yeah. Everybody say... ALL: Super Friends! (CAMERA CLICKS) Let me see it! Let me see! Classic! We got everyone. Yeah, everyone. FLASH: Thanks, Batman. Yeah, no problem. I did, like, a burst. FLASH: This party is the bmb! Look at me! More like Martian Dance Hunter, am I right? (ALL LAUGHING) 'Puter, call kid. Bat-Dad? How's it going? 'Cause everything is going great down here. I can see the target. But there's some kind of laser energy thing that I can't get through. Okay. I'll see if I can shut it off. But I'm gonna have to make up an excuse to leave this party without anyone noticing. Bye. Kid, tell me when it's off, all right? Now? No. Now? No. Now? Not quite. Now? No. My son... No. These irreplaceable crystals contain all my knowledge, which I now pass on to... Darn it. It's gotta be one of these. Is this the one? O.M. gosh! You did it, Padre! It's off! Okay. Now you gotta make your way to the Atomic Cauldron and get that Phantom Zone Projector. Do exactly as I say. 10-4! Okay. Jump! Do a front flip. Do a backflip. Run, run, run. Drop. That's excellent listening. Shimmy. Strafe-left. Strafe-right. Avoid. Hey, I was thinking. If I'm gonna be a superhero, and go on awesome superhero missions like this one, can we use code names? Mine can be Robin. I'm sorry, say that again? Robin! As in the small, Midwestern frail bird? Yeah, and I already have a catch phrase. Tweet, tweet, on the street. Hard pass. And a song. (SINGING) Fly, Robin, fly Harder pass. Now slide! (WHOOPING) Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you how to masterbuild your way inside that thing. Yay! Grab those 2x6's, pull out the axle studs, disconnect the 6x10 plates. Like this? Whoa! Unbelievable obeying. Now, let's ride. Toes to the nose. Now you're gleaming the cube. Yeah! Now, get creative. Freestyle a little bit. Oh, that's good, kid! It's like looking in a Bat-mirror. Okay. Leap. (WHOOPING) I've got the Projector, Dad. Booyah! Now do everything we just did backwards. Oh. Oh! Here you go, Dad. We did it! Yeah! Mission accomplished. That was fun! You okay, Batman? You seem the opposite of stern. Yeah, I'm fine. It's just watching you out there, it was like the world wasn't all darkness anymore. For a brief moment I could have sworn I felt something. PUTER: That feeling is pride, sir. You're right. I am super proud. (GASPS) Of myself. For being such a good teacher, obviously. Yeah, you're a great teacher. I am? Yeah! I wanna be just like you when I grow up, Padre! Wait, what did you call me? I called you Padre. It's Spanish for "Dad." Sorry. Well, isn't it also a cool Spanish way to say "buddy"? Yeah, I could've been saying it that way. Then I'll allow it. Oh, you're such a great padre! What are you doing? I'm trying to give you a big old hug. Thought you were attacking me. Hey, you up for another top secret superhero mission to defeat the Joker? ROBIN: Oh, I am down to stop that clown. But I don't wanna make my other dad, Bruce Wayne, angry. Do you think we'll be done before my bedtime? Bedtime? Batman's life lesson number two. Vigilantes don't have bedtimes. Yes! So, what's the vigilante policy on cookies? Unlimited! All right, kid. We need to avoid Commissioner Gordon. So, lesson number three. When going stealth, you gotta hide every part of you, physically and emotionally. Got it? Yeah! Already failed. Now, what I need you to do is use the naturally dark areas of your costume, and integrate into the dark parts of this environment. Okay. Can you see me? Yes. How about now? Yes. What about now? Now? Yes. Yes. You're a goner, kid. Batman? (GASPS) Barbara! (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) Batman? Batman! Hey, there. Look at you. Who's this? Hi, police lady. Is that your son? Yes, I am. Is that my son... No, that's just weird. It's weirder if it's not your son. Right. No, I don't... (STAMMERING) I'm not in a relationship or anything. I could have a kid. I mean, if I met the right lady, and if she was just standing right in front of me, and we looked at each other and thought, "Hey, let's do this." "Let's be together." Batman? Yes? I hope you're back because you've decided to work together on the Joker case. Uh... Yeah. Absolutely! Great. (DOOR ALARM BUZZES) Ooh. Arkham Asylum. So, before we question the Joker... Uh-huh. ...I'm gonna need you to hand over all your wapon. I mean, I don't know if I have anything... (SCANNER BEEPS) Oh! I just got a couple here. There. Is that it? Yeah. (SCANNER BEEPS) Oh. Of course. What about the utility belt? Anything in your cape? (SCANNER BEEPING) Under your cowl? And your shoes. There we go. Uh... This is really uncomfortable. Sorry. My shoes are part of my pants. (ALARM BLARING) Oops. Batman? Yes? Why is your "not son" trying to smuggle the Phantom Zone Projector into Arkham? What? Hey, kid. What is this? Batman, give me the Phantom Zone Projector. No. Batman! Give me the Phantom Zone Projector! Give it to me! No, no, no! Whoa! Nice. I studied Brazilian jiu-jitsu at Harvard for Police. Oh, yeah? Well, guess who got a PhD in smoke bmb! (COUGHING) Dr. Batman. BARBARA: Guards! Get them! Freeze, Batman! Hey, kid. This is a training exercise. These guys are my bros. Go ahead and take a couple of them out. Cool! BATMAN: Hey, Frank. ROBIN: You want a piece of Robin? BATMAN: Barney! Nice compound fracture! ROBIN: How'd you like a punch, Glen? Code Red! I need total security lockdown, now! (ALARM BLARING) Om! 'Sup, Joker? Namaste, Batman. Namaste. Gross. Ooh. Briefs man. Me, too. Cut the baloney. Kid, guard the door, will ya? On it! Take that, Alan! Huh. Looks like you're going to a lot of trouble for little old me. I must be your greatest enemy after all. Right, Batman? I see what you're trying to do. And what is that? You're trying to entrap me into a relationship. Really? Yeah, and it's not gonna work. Oh, yes, it is. Because I'm inside your head. (BLOWS RASPBERRY) No, you're not! No, you're not! (GASPS) I knew you'd say that. No, you didn't! No, you didn't! (GASPS) And I knew you'd say that! See? We aren't so different, I and you. It's, "you and I!" It's, "you and I!" Argh! Admit it. I'm your greatest enemy. You're not my greatest enemy, Joker. Okay, then send me to the Phantom Zone. Fine, I will. And prove I'm your greatest enemy. (GROWLS) Batman, don't do this. As long as you're in the Phantom Zone, I'll be saving Gotham City, and that's all that matters to me. Goodbye, Joker. Oh, Batman, thank you! (JOKER LAUGHS) Yes! That's what I call saving the city again! Batman, what are you doing? I'm Batman-ing. (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) I'm Batman, I'm awesome I got a nine-pack Stop it! Batman, I can't believe you did this. Hi, police lady. And even worse, you've made this kid into an accessory to your crime. Sorry, kid. That's okay, ma'am. As long as I'm doing a dime in the big house with my old man, everything's gonna be A-okay. Officers, take this Projector to the evidence room. You got it. And get this man some pants. I'm good the way I am. B Go, why has nobody fist bumped me yet? (SIGHS) You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to be you, Batman. I wanted to be as strong and as fast and as smart as Batman. But you're not who I thought you were. Uh... What do you mean? You can't be a hero if you only care about yourself. Barbara, I... I think you're underestimating the importance of the Joker being in the Phantom Zone. Really, it's kind of a stroke of genius. All the... Hey, where are you going? I just put Joker in the one place he can't do anyone any harm. (SIGHS) Yeah. But what if you just gave Joker exactly what he wanted? (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) Oh! Whoa! Look at this place! Am I being too loud? (CRACKS KNUCKLES) Hi! Oh, my gosh! (GASPING) Sorry. I always do that. How about a warning next time? You're so right, and I am so wrong. Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy. Yeah, bad guy. My name is Phyllis. Oh, that was my grandma's name. Now hold still while I scan you. (IMITATES BEEPING) Scanning for badness. Trying to assess whether you are bad. (JOKER IMITATING gn fring) (JOKER LAUGHING) Ugh! Your whole thing screams "bad guy." Oh, yeah. I'm a really bad person. But with vulnerabilities. Who, me? (CHUCKLING) No way. So, where do you keep all the other bad people in this place? They're standing right behind you. (EVIL LAUGHTER) Whoa! Hi there, guys. Lovely to meet you all. I'm the... Oh, fist bump? There we... Handshake? (LAUGHS) It doesn't matter. I'm the Joker. Take a look at the new guy. Guess they'll just let anybody in here. Oh, no, no, no. I'm very bad, too. They just showed a video montage... Boring! What? You're boring. He looks delicious. (GASPS) Let's eat this guy. (GROWLING) (JOKER STAMMERS) Stop with the volence for just a second! What if I told you I could get you outta here? I'm sorry, what'd you just say? That's right. I'm so bad, I got myself thrown into this heck-hole on purpose! I'm listening. Count me interested. Look, everyone here knows what it's like to be hurt by a hero, don't they? We've all been taken for granted, right? ALL: Yeah, bro. MEDUSA: I'm relating. Well, that's why I came to this space prison. To recruit the universe's greatest... We'll do it! I'm sorry? You were going to say something about recruiting the universe's greatest villains to conquer a superhero. Am I right? Uh, yeah. Well, we're in! ALL: Yay! Really? Because I brought a PowerPoint... Still boring! Yeah. Just get on with it. You want us to humiliate him? I certainly do. Yes. You want us to make him grovel at your feet? I would like to see that very much! (ECHOING) You want us to smite him? Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. You want us to make the rivers of Gotham City run red with his blood? Oh, that's... Oh, no blood? How do you feel about lava? Yes! Lava. Done. ALL: Yay! KING KONG: I can't wait to crush buildings. VELOCIRAPTOR: Excuse me. Hello? Over here. I don't want to be a downer, but how exactly are we going to get outta this place? Oh, leave that to me. GUARD: Don't wanna jinx us, but I'll be a lot happier when this Phantom Zone Projector is locked up tight. (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Going up, ma'am? No. You're going down! (GUARDS GROANING) Look out! Smash! I guess you're right. I am going up. Ding! Here comes the... Phantom Zone! Huh? (THUNDER CRASHING) I'm gonna go start looting. JOKER: Hello, Gotham City! The Clown Prince of Crime is back! Commissioner Gordon, you gotta take a look at this. (MUSIC PLAYING) BARBARA: What's that? GUARD: A monkey and dog are friends. (LAUGHS) Not that. That! And I've come to finally take over the city. But in order to do that, I need to break my friends out of a giant, scary prison. Hey, guys, he means us! PRISONERS: Yay! And I ain't talking about those rogue losers dressed in cosplay! PRISONERS: Oh! Me-ouch. I'm talking about my new peeps! And they're just like me. The greatest villains you'll ever see. You wanna meet them? No. Too bad. He's evil, he's magic, and it's about to get tragic. It's Voldemort. Magic! You are a fish. You are a frog. You are a fish frog. JOKER: He's a 9,000-year-old incarnation of evil, with an eye forjewelry. Give it up for Sauron! SAURON: Good afternoon, Gotham City. (ROARS) (PEOPLE SCREAMING) JOKER: He likes long, violent walks on historic buildings. It's King Kong! Come at me, Gotham! (SIREN WAILING) Commissioner Gordon, these monsters, they're too powerful. Can you contain them to downtown? That's gonna be impossible. Half the police force are fish! Sergeant Jackson! Stop floppin' around! JOKER: And rounding out the evil all-stars, Wicked Witch! Medusa. And British robots! DALEKS: Exterminate! JOKER: Ask your nerd friends. Hello? Bad guys? (MAN SCREAMS) (LAUGHS) What a crew, huh? And they all work for me! Who's the greatest villain of them all now, Batman? Still not you. Actually, this does look pretty terrifying, Bat-Dad. (LAUGHING) Whee! Nice destruction all around. Watch your step! Good work, guys! Now, all that's left for me is to rub it in Batman's bat face. Hey, Sauron, doesn't your flaming eye have a unique ability to peer through time and space? Uh-huh. Well, I need to find Batman. Where's homeboy's man cave? Hmm. Give me a second. Scary noise. It's beneath Wayne Manor! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a sec. Are you trying to tell me that Bruce Wayne is Batman... ...'s roommate? Uh... Yeah. Evil army, this way to the Batcave! (VILLAINS GROWLING) Good grief! (ROARING) (ROARS) (WHOOPING) Hey, Batman! Joker's home. (ECHOING) (LAUGHS) I'm rubbing my butt all over your stuff. We're going to have to rename this the Butt-mobile. (ALL LAUGHING) Hey, evil army. I need Batman brought here. Now go get him! Joker out! (GLASS SHATTERS) Uh... Padre? BATMAN: Yeah? Do you ever get scared? No. Yeah, that's what I figured, 'cause you're Batman. (ROBIN SNIFFLING) Hey, kid. You know who does get scared? ROBIN: Who? Bruce Wayne. Really? Yeah. Bruno told me once that sometimes the only way to get out of a down moment is to start boxing. And by "boxing," he meant beatboxing. Oh! (CLEARS THROAT) (SINGING) Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na... (BEATBOXING) Feel it, uh-huh Dick Grayson on the mic, go Oh. Um... (BEATBOXING) (BOTH BEATBOXING) Oh, my gosh. This does make me feel better. Okay. Shh. Batman solo. (SINGING) Bat, bat, bat, can I get a bat? Can I get a bat? Bat... (DEVICE RINGING) (GASPS) The Bat-Fax! Ha! The city needs me. Bang, bang, bang! Excuse me. Can you get the commissioner and show her this? Batman. Would you stop doing that? I sent the Bat-Fax. (SIGHS) I hate to say this, but you're right. The city needs you. Yes! Let me out. I'm only going to let you out on one condition. Name it. You can't do it by yourself. (GROWLS) Fine. Who am I working with? SEAL Team Six? Fox Force Five? su1c1de Squad? No. Me. Oh, I wanna help, too! And I shall join as well. Whoa! Alfred Pennyworth at your service, ma'am. How did you... Alfred, you gotta let me out of here. Sir, those creatures out there are unlike anything we've ever seen. Speak for yourself. You don't know everything I've seen. I haven't told you everything. And you'll never be able to defeat them alone. And it'll be more fun if we all do it together! What's the worst thing that could happen? What are you so afraid of? The thing I'm most afraid of? I gotta be honest with you. It's snake clowns. Yeah, that's not a thing. Well then, nothing. I'm not afraid of anything. Okay. (DOOR LOCK BEEPS) Prove it. Oh, I will. Good. Do you know what the B-A-T in Batman stands for? Not really. Best At Teamwork. Best At Teamwork Man is my full name. Yay! We're going on a family trip. This is not a family trip. I can wear my costume, too. Well, luckily for us, you left your costume back at the... Rip! Oh! Nope. Under your clothes. That's perfect. Rip! Alfred, what are you doing? I miss the '60s. Hey, can Scarecrow help? PRISONERS: Yeah! He's destroying our city, too! Permit us to lend you assistance. Yeah. Why don't we use these guys? What am I gonna do? Get a bunch of criminals together to fight the criminals? That's a stupid idea. (SIRENS WAILING) Okay, guys. Game plan. Joker's taken the Projector to Wayne Manor. Wayne Manor. Right. Thanks, Batman. We need that Projector. Projector. Or there's no way to blast these monsters... Monsters. ...back to the Phantom Zone. Phantom Zone? Yep. Batman, I really don't need you to finish my... Sand castles. No. Sister's homework. No. Succulent something. No. Um... Everybody? SAURON: Batman is in Arkham Asylum. Get him! Okay, everyone, grab on to me. ALL: Whoa! (ALL GRUNT) We've gotta take cover! Whoa! Joker has eyes on us. Where? No! I mean, he literally has a giant eye on us. I think that thing can see our every move! Shaka-laka-Iako. We've got to destroy it, or we'll never make it to Wayne Manor. Uh... Bat-Dad? I really think you should see this. KING KONG: Building survey! This building's not up to code! (ALL SCREAMING) (ROARING) (GRUNTS) Gotcha. (ROBIN YELPS) (ROARING) Is that real lava? I'm okay. All right, yeah. It's 100% lava. (ALL YELP) Everyone, start throwing me bricks. Right away, sir. I need a 4x6. Come on, quick. Here you go. I need an elbow. Elbow. Ow! BATMAN: Whoo! Yes! I did it. Pretty cool, huh? BARBARA: (MUFFLED) Batman? BATMAN: Yeah? Why did you build this thing with only one seat? 'Cause last I checked, I only had one butt. What the... What have you done to Wayne Manor? JOKER: Hey, Batman, guess what! I found out one of your secrets. Uh-oh. What do we have here, Batman? It looks like a bunch of relationship comedies. What's that one? Must Love Dogs. Must love crying. Marley & Me. I love the ending. Oh! Serendipity? We have Serendipity? I love that movie! JOKER: For a loner, Batman, you sure like movies about relationships! Oh! And look what else I found! All your wonderful toys. Accio lightning storm! Uh... Everyone, hold on. (ALL SCREAMING) (VILLAINS IMITATING gn fring) JOKER: Gremlins, dismantle that plane now! Ugly monsters on our three. (ALL CHITTERING) Uh... Padre? Not now, kid. Kind of got my hands full. I've got good tone. fring. Uh... Batman? What's up, buddy? ROBIN: Are we nearly at Wayne Manor? BATMAN: Why? Uh... Your number two needs to go number one. I thought I told you to go back at the prison. I tried, but Bane was in there. So? He had sort of a "get out of this bathroom now" vibe. BATMAN: I knew I shouldn't have given you that water. Can you hold it in like a big boy? BARBARA: Engine one down. Not a big deal. Don't worry about it. It's fine. BARBARA: Engine two down. It does that sometimes. BARBARA: We've lost engine three. Oh. Could live without it. BARBARA: Engine four! (ALL SCREAMING) That I do need to fix. Good news. Our bathroom problem is solved. BATMAN: You three wait here while I go fix the engine. Don't worry, Batman. You fix the Batwing, I'll fly. All good, Babs. I've got my autopilot on it. (HUMS) Done. BARBARA: Autopilot? That's just a rope! Exactly. All right, guys. Until I get back, rope's in charge. Thanks, rope. All right, let's see. Yes, the piston brake out here. Jet engine brake in here and... Get out of here. No. Give me... No! Stop it! Come on, Master Dick. We need to help him. I'm with you, Grandpa! Get off my Padre! ALFRED: Unhand him, you animatronic fiends. What are you two doing here? I told you to stay in the cockpit. You disobeyed me. You're on a timeout. Batman, you're on a timeout. What? Alfred, you better un-timeout me right now! No. Not until you un-timeout Master Dick. (GASPS) Guys, you're all un-timeouted! We have incoming! Sir! Watch out for those... What are you doing? (SCREAMING) (ALFRED AND ROBIN SCREAMING) Okay. Everybody, timeout off. Whoo-hoo! I've been parented. Batman, I can help you. No. Protect the rope. The rope is fine! Save Master Dick! I'm fine. I'll just do one of my gymnastics moves to... (YELPS) No! (THUNDER CRASHING) Dick... (SCREAMING) Gotcha! Hold on, Alfred. I'm almost there! No! (GASPS) Alfred! (GASPS) No. No! Move over, rope. (GRUNTS) Hold on! (SCREAMING) (BARBARA YELLING) (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS) (ALFRED SCREAMS) Gotcha! Barbara, did you see that? Batrope saved Alfred. Sick moves, rope. I never doubted you, bro. PUTER: Actually, sir, Ms. Gordon saved him. Rope! You lied to me! Wait a minute. You mean, without you, Alfred would have been street meat? Batman, trust us. We can do this. Yeah. I know Gymkata. Sorry, what's that? It's a gymnastics-based martial art. I can punch those '80s monsters off the plane. Uh... Okay. PUTER: Multiple bogeys on our six. Sir, I'll get them off our back. I was a tail gn for the Royal Air Force. Locked and loaded, sir! Good. Love that! I got an idea. We're gonna change course. I want you to fly straight into that flaming eyeball. What? Barbara, trust me. All right. Let's do this. (VILLAINS IMITATING gn fring) (ROARS) BATMAN: We got a giant sea monster, 12 o'clock! BARBARA: Got it. We've got his attention. He's tracking us. (ROARS) (LAUGHING) I've got you now. Eat dirt! Bob's your uncle, you ruddy duff cobblers! Okay, Babs, this is it. Fly us straight into that eye, and wait for my signal. Can it come now? Can we make the signal thing happen? Almost there. Almost there! fre! BATMAN: Almost there! ROBIN: That fre's coming in hot! Hot, hot, hot! Now! Barbara, dive bmb! (SAURON SCREAMS) SAURON: My eye! (ALL GASP) JOKER: Sauron! (GASPS) (WHISTLING) Nothing to see. (ALL GROANING) Whoo-hoo! Yes! That was so rad! We did it, everyone! That was so great! Go team! Come on, let's hear it for us! That was incredible! (WHOOPING) I felt so jazzed! I say "jazzed"! I gotta give it to you, Batman. That was awesome. Ha! And you were awesome. Thanks. And you were awesome. I love compliments! And you were awesome, and I was amazing. I'm not trying to make it about myself, obviously. But I just wanna make sure that everyone gets a pat on the back. Because it feels good. It does feel good. You had a good idea, you had a good idea, and you had a good idea, and I had a great idea. You know what, I think that collectively, I'm gonna add... ...one. (BEEPS) No way! Yes! Man, that feels good. Best team ever! (LAUGHS) Let's take a photo! All right, everyone, squeeze together. BATMAN: Hang on a second. Nice and close! I gotta get my pump on. It's worth it. Okay, everybody in? BATMAN: These abs are no fluke. Everyone say, "Bat Family!" ALL: Bat Family! (CAMERA CLICKS) Ooh, let's take a look! BARBARA: Look at that! Splendid. Wow. Didn't it turn out great? Hey, guys! It's my first family photo! (ALL LAUGHING) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) Hey, Bat-Dad. Oh! Whoa. What are you doing? I'm trying to give you a big, old H-U-G. Okay, just... Batman, are you okay? (STAMMERS) Yeah, I'm fine. We are just one big happy fraternity of people who did an awesome job together. I can't think of any other way to put that. Cool. So, guys, listen up! Taking the Projector from the Joker is gonna be our most dangerous mission yet. A family battle mission! Right. Salvage what you can out of the Scuttler, and maybe root around, see if you can find a few Vitamin waters or something, and then we'll head out. Right away, sir. Anything for you, Padre. I think I'll need snowshoes. Yeah, I don't think you'll need snowshoes, but could you grab that flashlight? Batman? Padre? Sir? What are you doing? Hey, Batman. Please, wait! BATMAN: 'Puter. PUTER: Yes, sir? I'm locking in some coordinates now. (IMITATES BEEPING) Take the Scuttler to the taco stand on the border of Gotham City and Blüdhaven. ALL: No! I want you to get these guys a couple of chimichangas and three Jarritos. Sir! And then keep them there until this whole attck on Gotham City blows over. Padre, please. Don't do this! Batman, you need us! How many times I gotta tell you? Batman works alone. No, we have to stick together. Please. Now go on, Scuttler. Go! Go! Just get outta here. ALFRED: Batman. ROBIN: Padre! Get moving! ROBIN: Please! (SHOOING) Just go. BARBARA: Batman! Please, wait! Scuttler, move out! BARBARA: You're doing the wrong thing! Listen to me! Don't do this! ALFRED: Sir, please. Sir! ROBIN: No! AGENT SMITH: Scanning for intruders. Scanning for intruders. Scanning for intruders. JOKER: Hi, Bats. What have you done to my... Bruce Wayne's house? You'd better hope he's a cool guy and doesn't go crazy. What happened to all your friends? I don't need friends. I don't need anyone to stop you. (YELLS) JOKER: Are you sure about that? Look in the mirror, Batman. (GRUNTS) When I saw you working with your friend-family, I actually thought you'd changed. But, no. You pushed them away. (GRUNTING) You've run away from every other person in your life. But I'm the one you're always chasing. Is this about that stupid "greatest enemy" thing? No, it's not. Not anymore. VELOCIRAPTOR: You tell him, Joker! JAWS: It's time for a fresh start. DALEKS: He's not worth it. I think after 78 years, I deserve respect! That is right. Respect! Do you realize that you have never once said the words, "I hate you, Joker"? Not once. Well, I am starting to feel pretty annoyed with you right now. That's for darn sure. Annoyed is not the same thing! Listen, Batman. I... hate you. ALL: Aww! That's nice. Now you say it. Me, too. (ALL JEERING) You won't. You won't change. 'Cause you can't. You won't, and you can't. JAWS: Batman will never change. You know what, boo-boo? Just shut it down. These diseased lunatics are right. Yes, we are! I am not gonna be part of a one-sided relationship any longer! HARLEY QUINN: Yes! What are you talking about? You and I are done! What is wrong with you? I'm moving on! That's ridiculous. And on my way out, I'm gonna blow up Gotham City! No. You're not serious. Wingardium Leviosa! No! You know what? For once, Batman, you're right. I'm not your greatest enemy. Your greatest enemy is you. Goodbye, Batman. Wait a minute. Hold on a second. (GROANS) HARLEY QUINN: Good for you, boo-boo! ALL: Yay! Everybody, get a bmb. Let's go. bmb, bmb, bmb. Let's bmb it out. ALL: Yay! (ALL WHOOPING) KING KONG: Say goodbye, Gotham City! Whoa. Hi! (GASPS) Whoa! Oh, I am so sorry. It was all my fault, I keep doing that. Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy. (GASPS) What are you talking about? I'm not a bad guy. But you're all in black. You have a cape. And you wear a big, scary mask. Well, I'm not. And you kicked me in the face. Listen, I'm Batman. Oof! You even sound like a bad guy. I swear, I am a good guy. Okay, Mr. Batman. Hold still while I scan you. (MIMICS BEEPING) Scanning for badness. Yes, sir? You're super nimble, right? I sure am! And 110% expendable? I don't know what that means, but okay. How'd I do, Dad? Mediocre. Yes! And don't call me Dad. Sorry. BATMAN: Alfred, put that kid on the next jet to the orphanage. But doesn't he deserve a chance for someone to take him under their wing, as I took you under mine? Listen, you don't have a family. So what do you know about having a surrogate son? BARBARA: Batman! We have to stick together. Please. BATMAN: Joker, you mean nothing to me. No one does. Huh. You're not a traditional bad guy. But you're not exactly a good guy, either. BARBARA: Batman? ROBIN: Padre? PHYLLIS: You even abandoned your friends. What? Go on, Scuttler. Go. Batman, no. No! Don't do this! Abandoned? No. No, I was trying to protect them. PHYLLIS: By pushing them away? Well, yeah. Are they really the ones you're protecting? BARBARA: Computer, Batman's in danger. ROBIN: Please, Computer, take us back! Do you really want the man who made you to come to harm? PUTER: Batman programmed me to obey him. But he didn't say to not not rescue him. What are they doing? Come on, guys. Let's hustle. Gotham City's not gonna blow itself up. Well, hello! 'Puter, go to super-secret stealth mode. (ROARS) (ALL SCREAMING) Hold on! No! Evil buddies, those are my last three painful reminders of Batman. Run! Come on, Alfred. This way. Wait, where's Dick? The little guy? He's over there. PUTER: Initializing Batcave operating system. What's he doing? I've gotta save my family! Just think. What would Batman do? What? I know. Not listen to anyone else. Be mean to people. Destroy as much property as possible. Talk in a really low, gravelly voice. And go it alone. Kid, don't do that. PUTER: Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed. Don't do what I would do! I never even taught you how to drive! Hold on a second, Brick Lady. (STAMMERING) I'm so sorry. I need to get down there and stop this. I can't let you go. My boss will be really mad at me. Yeah. But I bet your boss would be happy if you were able to get all those bad guys back in here. Hmm. She sure would. Then let me try. Let me get down there and help them. But haven't you tried that before? BARBARA: This way, Alfred. You do the same thing over and over. (SCREAMING) (ROARING) What's gonna change? No! I know what I need to do. Just give me 24 hours, and I'll come back. Whoa! You've gotta let me go down there and save them. I'll do whatever you want. (GRUNTING) Please. DALEKS: Exterminate! Please. Okay, but I need all the bad guys locked up in here. I promise. And I mean all of them. One of these buttons has to save my friends. PUTER: Self-destruct mode activated. Self what? (ROBIN SCREAMING) Master Dick! No! (CONTINUES SCREAMING) (ROARING) Dick! (SCREAMING) Look who's bat! ROBIN: What? (ALL GRUNTING) Everyone okay? Dick, Alfred, Barbara. Are you guys... We're fine, Batman. Listen, I just wanted to say that I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really... s-s-s... (CLEARS THROAT) Soooo... Sorry? Yeah. Whoo! I did it! (SIGHS) I don't even know why you bothered coming back. BATMAN: I was afraid. What? The reason I came back was the same reason I left you. I was afraid of feeling the pain you feel when you lose someone close to you. Gotham needs us. So I came back to do this. Flip. Flip? What is that? I don't... You gotta turn around. I call it the Babs-Signal. And I'm flipping the switch for you. Because saving this city is too big a job for one person. Flip, flip. So, what do you say, Commish? Will you work with me? I need your help. I thought you'd never ask. I'm very, very proud of you, sir. But there's still only four of us against Joker's entire army. That's why I called in some backup. Flip! Flip! Flip! Flip! Whoa! CLAYFACE: We saw your signal, and we came to help. Joker may be done with us, but we're not done with him. We will be the Joker's reckoning. Joker said mean stuff to us. You were right, Barbara. It takes a village. Not a Batman. (ALL CHEER) Okay. Everybody, listen up. These monsters want to destroy Gotham City. BATMAN: That's right. We need sick new vehicles. BARBARA: An arsenal of advanced wapon. Costumes that suit our individual personalities. Rip! And code names to use on our walkie-talkies. Call it out! Your name is Lady Bat. Lady Bat? BATMAN: Bat Lady. Veto! Nope. What? BATMAN: El Batarina. Soccer Mom... Bat? How about a cool costume? Nice! That one's called Batgirl. If you call me Batgirl, can I call you Batboy? And lastly, a coordinated attck strategy, and a kick-butt theme song! Robin? (GASPS) My superhero code name. Oh, yeah. ht it! Got it! ('80S POP SONG PLAYING) No! (OTHER '80S POP SONG PLAYING) (GROANS) (ROBIN SONG PLAYING) Absolutely not. (POP MUSIC PLAYING) (GROWLING) This music is filling me with rage. Let's use it! All right, team. I'm going to need to know your special powers. I'm a giant clay person! I'm irritating. I have a sack for a face. I make unpredictable decisions. I raise the stakes! I can squirt ketchup! Nice! Orca. I'm a whale! Oh, we got this covered! Go team! (ALL WHOOPING) Whale, yeah! (POP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) (ALL LAUGHING) Shh. Quiet. Who's laying down those funky beats? ALL: We are! CATWOMAN: Meow, meow! Batman? Evil army, get rid of them! Team Gotham Family, activate! Voldy's got this. VILLAINS: Here we go! Yeah! VOLDEMORT: bmb! Smash! Smash! Smash! Whoa. Batman, take out Joker's bmb. I'll get that Projector! BATMAN: 10-4, Co-Go. Freeze, Clayface, take this guy out! Coming through! (YELLS) Okay, Alfred, bring the pain. (TIRES SCREECHING) Bringing it, sir. For Queen and country! (LAUGHS) You just got Union Jacked! Robin, get ready. I'm about to teach you some father-and-son stuff. First, driving. Put your hands at 10 and 2. Okay. Now, fly! Turn left! Run over these skeletons. Now drive up the wall! Great driving. Thanks, Padre. Yeah! Okay, Robin. Together, we're gonna punch these guys so hard, words describing the impact are gonna spontaneously materialize out of thin air. Yeah! Yes! Yes! Yes! High five! Stop moving around, you Muggles. All right, team, let's shut him down. Orca! You're up, baby! (ORCA YELLS) You wanna see a magic trick? I'm gonna make you disappear. Wingardium Levio... Me-yoink! Wingardium Levio... Shut up! No! Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy! Fudgecake! BARBARA: Whoo! Here we go, Bat Team! Batman, think fast! Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy! Robin, go long. Nice grab. Yeah! PHYLLIS: Oh, my gosh. Yes! Here you go, Grandpa. Hey, Batman! (GROWLING) (GRUNTING) Get off my padre! It wasn't useless after all. End this, Batgirl! Adiós, shark. Okay, BRB, guys. I'm gonna go defuse that... This is the end of Gotham City! As I predicted, we're doomed! We're not doomed. I got this. Everyone, grab on to me. Gotcha. Come on, guys. We need to hold this city together. Batrope, no! Everybody, run! No! We have to stick together. Right, Batman? We need to use our heads! Maybe we should build something together. ALFRED: Heads. BARBARA: Stick together. ROBIN: Build something. BARBARA: Together. (ECHOING) Build. Together. Together. ROBIN: We should build something together. I got it. You're right, Babs. We need to stick together. Literally. Robin, quick. Give me a boost. On it, Padre. We're gonna stick together, using our heads, and the most powerful wapon of all. Shredded abs. Let's do this. CATWOMAN: Meow, meow. ALL: Yeah, let's do this. Ready? Here we go. You got this, Alfred? Yes, sir. Abs of steel. Great! Now you bend, and I'll grab the other side! No! MAN: Batman, what's going on? ROBIN: Are you okay? CLAYFACE: I've got you. (STRAINING) Joker! Please, help us! No! I'm not gonna help you. At least if this city is destroyed, I'll die knowing I'm your greatest enemy! I'm gonna have to die to know it. Shut up, Joker! If there's no Gotham, then I'll never get to fight you again. What? You're the reason why I get up at 4:00 in the afternoon and pump iron until my chest is positively sick. You're the reason I've given up a life spent with Russian ballerinas and lady activewear models. And if it wasn't for you, I never would have learned how connected I am with all these people. And you. So if you help me save Gotham, you'll help me save us. You just said "us." Yeah. Batman and the Joker. What do you say? You had me at shut up. How are your abs, bro? Too much flab, not enough ab. (CHUCKLES) Why? Because I need you to crunch them. Citizens of Gotham, we need all of you to join us and help bring this city back together. (STRAINING) (ALL STRAINING) (ALL CHEERING) (WHOOPING) I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I hate you, Joker. (GASPS) I hate you, too. I hate you more. I hate you the most. I hate you forever. Splendid! We did it, everyone! BANE: Bane is feeling warm and fuzzy. (THUNDER RUMBLING) ROBIN: Padre, where are you going? I made a promise. I gotta go back to the Phantom Zone. Sorry, kid. Padre, please. Don't call me Padre. Okay. Call me... Dads. (GASPS) My two dads are the same dad. But they're both leaving. It's gonna be okay, kid. Sometimes, losing people is part of life. But that doesn't mean you stop letting them in. Some very wise people taught me that. My father figure. My platonic coworker buddy, who's a girl, but just a friend. And you. Mi hijo. It's Spanish for "son." This is my family, but it's your family, too. (SNIFFLES) (THUNDER RUMBLING) (THUDS) (GRUNTS) Do you have a Knfe? Why? 'Cause someone needs to cut the tension between the two of us immediately. (GROANS) Okay. I deserved that. PHYLLIS: Hi. Wait a minute. What's going on? I came back, just like I said I would. You know, Mr. Batman, (SIGHS) when you're a talking brick, working at the Phantom Zone, you see a lot of crazy things. But I've finally seen a man, in order to make the world a better place, take a look at himself and make a change. Who? Superman. What? I'm kidding. It's you. (ALL CHEERING) (LAUGHS) Well, I guess I'll be seeing you on the streets, Batman. I guess so. Catch you later, Joker. Let's go, g*ng. (CHUCKLES) Wait a minute, we're not just gonna let these criminals go, right? Ah, come on, Commish. Let's face it. Those guys are no match for the four of us. We'll give them a 30-minute head start. Besides, you can't fight crime on an empty stomach. (POP MUSIC PLAYING) Hey, Computer? ALL: We're home! (ECHOING) PUTER: What is the password? ALL: Iron Man sucks! (LAUGHING) When Dad and me were fighting, I was giving them my best one-liners. You complete me. (ALL LAUGHING) Holy family photo, Batman. I love it! BATMAN: White. All important movies end with a white screen. And tying up loose ends. We're coming for you, Gotham City! BATMAN: Like this snake clowns bit. BARBARA: Snake clowns? BATMAN: Told you they were real. BARBARA: Did you stick wigs onto snakes? BATMAN: Maybe. BARBARA: That is so weird. ROBIN: Can I play that song I wrote for the end credits? BATMAN: That is a hard pass. ROBIN: Come on. BATMAN: No! BARBARA: Let the kid play whatever music he wants. BATMAN: No, no, no! ROBIN: Please? BATMAN: No. ROBIN: Padre? BATMAN: (SIGHS) Fine. 'Puter. (BEEPS) PUTER: Okay, sir. ROBIN: Yay! (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) PUTER: Now playing Robin's happy, poppy music. The kind that makes parents and studio executives happy. (GROANS) Come on, everyone! Come on, Batman! No! (PLAYING GUITAR SOLO) BATMAN: (LAUGHING) Wow, that was fun! Really hope nobody was recording that. Let me see. Oh, this thing is on. This thing is recording.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Lego Batman Movie, The (2017)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Pip: Once upon a time in a magical kingdom called Andalasia a baby was found With no mother or father to speak of the animals raised her as one of their own, that baby was Giselle, Giselle grew into a beautiful young lady with a loving heart and a secret desire - I’ve been dreaming of true love’s kiss and a prince that comes with this She won the love of the bravest prince until one day she was pushed by an evil queen and landed in a large and extremely confusing place called New York City, New York City There she met Robert who was a lawyer with dreamy eyes and a daughter named Robert who saw magic everywhere she went , they fell in love and they lived - Both: Forever Ever After Read it again Dad Pip: What if I told you ever after wasn’t the end of their story? We’ve heard this story a million times ,That’s how it always ends Pip: You’ve only heard part of the story, I’m not too proud of my part but if you two get into bed, I’ll read it to ya This story begins where the old one left off , after ever after After? There is no after after ever after You get married then nothing ever happens to you again Pip: Not in this world, for Giselle a few years grew apart, Morgan sprouted up, Robert and Giselle had a big, beautiful girl named Sofia And for one moment Giselle truly had it all, with all the baby stuff Their castle in the sky shrunk too sizes and life got so busy it felt like a sleeping curse fell over the kingdom every night , the hardest part was Morgan , she became what that lot call a teenager Felt like she set off to a faraway place she could never go , felt like life wasn’t so magical after all then she saw a sign and decided their ever after might be somewhere else so Giselle and Robert began their quest for a new Ever after Mover: Next stop, Monroeville Where the hell is Monroeville Don’t know, has to be better than here Giselle: I know change can be scary but it can also be exciting, think of all the wonderful new people you’re going to meet who will love you just as much as I do and remember whenever you need a friend, what do we do? Robert: Morgan can you at least try to help a little? Morgan; I am helping, I’m literally telling the entire Internet about my kidnapping, they all agree it’s a tragedy Robert: You know, a lot of people move to the suburbs from the city and they’re wildly happy Morgan: Well I was wildly happy here , can you back me up on this Sofia? You’re no help Giselle: Are you ready for our new adventure? Morgan: Very Giselle: That’s Both: sarcasm Giselle: I promise Monroeville is the perfect place Morgan: No speeches, if we’re going to do this, let’s just go Robert: Teenagers are like this, She’ll be fine Giselle: We really did have magic memories here Robert: We’ll make more, if I learnt anything from meeting a princess on a billboard sometimes you just have to take a leap Pip: So they packed up and moved ain’t nothing too perturbia , disturbia , magic kingdom of surburbia Giselle: Isn’t it wonderful? It’s the closest thing I’ve ever seen to Both: Andalasia Morgan: House is like a castle, I’ll have my own room, you’ve told me a million times Robert: Hey look Giselle: You never know Morgan, you might have a little magic like I did growing up Robert: There it is Giselle: Oh good The walls are back up Morgan: The walls were down? Interesting castle Robert: We’re running a little behind schedule, you just have to have vision New baby in town We even brought gifts We’re great with naps if you ever need help with that Thank you, I might take you up on that, should we go check out our new home? It’s all part of the adventure Morgan: That’s not an adventure, that’s a landfill Giselle: A land filled with adventure Robert: Let me take my little princess and show you the rest of the house Morgan: I’m going to go see if one of those movers will move me back to New York Giselle; I know it’s hard starting over someplace new, I did it once, not really on purpose , I find you just have to look at things the right way Morgan: Oh no Giselle: Here I’ll show you Morgan: We don’t really need to Here we are Morgan: Sing - A family starting over where life will be nicer and newer now With a sparkling sun and the fresh clean sky our dreams will come even truer now In a yard that’s full of four leaf clover where We’ve been transplanted we’ll be brimming with even more joy in store than before , life will be more enchanted We’re so blessed to have our little castle, we’ll sing as we gaily unpack our trunks We’ll be friends with all the local deer , fluffiest raccoons and cuddly skunks Far away from all the noise and hassle , our wishes will all be granted and even the nastiest birds will tweet extra sweet , I repeat, we’ve left behind all those city lights for riding bikes and flying kites Now we will be surbabanites and even more enchanted Giselle: Keep them closed Robert: Don’t open your eyes Giselle: Keep them closed Morgan: Feels so scary now Robert: Don’t be scared, ready? Both: Open them Morgan: Oh wow this is wow, wow Giselle: I know I got carried away, you can change anything you like Robert: She made them promise it will be done Morgan: It’s beautiful mom Giselle: Really? Pretty soon this whole place will feel like home you’ll see Morgan: Ah! That’s all my stuff! Robert; Put it out Morgan: Careful Robert; Grab a blanket Morgan: Those were all my clothes! Hello! Robert: Do we know somebody? Giselle: No but we can Malvina: What are you colour blind? That’s not green, that’s aqua Hope you don’t mind, the door was unlocked Giselle and Robert right? And Morgan and little Sofia Giselle: Yes, how did you know? Malvina: Malvina Monroe , I would have sold you this house but I deal in slightly more upscale homes, Rosaleen and Ruby! : Oh they smell so good made everything Even the baskets Malvina: I weave That’s so sweet Morgan: And a little weird Morgan I have one that age too , so pouty, still the apple of my eye Everyone’s eye More like the apple of your entire face I know this town better than anyone else She made this town what it is She’s like the Queen of the town I think every town should have a queen That wasn’t exactly the first day we hoped for , maybe we should have waited a month No we pushed her three times That is so much better than fifth avenue No that’s just weirdly louder Giselle: Those crickets can pose that song just for us , build them a resort, I don’t think they have one of those Morgan: Can we talk about the fact we moved here to get more space and we’re sleeping in the same room Robert:,Morgan We talked about this, It’s just until the Smoke clears the room Morgan: Why is your alarm going off? It’s still yesterday outside It’s okay baby, it’s okay sweetheart fre! Yes it is a lovely morning isn’t it? I can’t figure out this commuting thing , I’ll grab some cream, what is that smell? Morning I made you some toast Are you okay? Are you hurt? Morgan: No but this is my only outfit Giselle: The king and Queen of Andalasia , Nancy , Edward what are you doing here? We built a portal to your new home Edward: Congratulations on The increasing size of your progeny Thank you Your dwelling, Are you poor now? Nancy: Edward No Robert: We’re not poor Giselle: it’s what they call a fixer upper Edward: A fixer upper, Once your peasants have dug out the moat and added a turret and a balcony from which you can sing bathed in the light of a forgiving moon , I see it now Robert: On that note I’m off Robert it appears you have lost your sword I don’t have a sword Now that you’re a country squire you’d be more in need of a sword Still a lawyer Tragic , how desperate you must be to do something I do plenty A brave front is required to face a life as barren as this , take this I couldn’t You must This sword and I have slayed many a beasts and adventures testing both body and spirit , may it do the same for you Thank you peasant Nancy: We missed her birthday last month but we had to make sure the goddaughter of the king and queen of Andalasia got one of these Giselle; A Andalasian wishing wand A what wand? Giselle: I’ve heard of it but never seen one before Edward: When your godparents are the king and queen they have to do something extra special - Presenting a wand that wishes the most magical of tools , use it for joy and happiness , just make sure you know the rules Morgan: Does anyone in Andaasia just say stuff? Giselle: Not if we can help it - Here’s the magic of Andalasia Contained within this wonderous wishing wand We bring some magic from Andalasia to this Dab and most unmagic world beyond This wishing wand, She will be so enthused by what fun she can have with this gift we brought her But just remember it can only be used by a true Andalasian son Or daughter She’s a true Andalasian goddaughter With this magic With this magic of Andalasia If she has questions, just consult the scroll Giselle: Scroll? Nancy: Just ask the scroll any questions and the answers will appear Edward: In this world I guess you just read it, how do you live in this place? Giselle: How bout that? You’re a true daughter of Andalasia Morgan: If you have no wands for a fake daughter of Andalasia, I’ll go change, I’ll be sure to look in your closet, sure to be some fun options, we’re making a real splash at my new school Giselle: She sometimes says one thing and means the opposite , I can never tell Nancy: Are you okay? Giselle: Is it sometimes easier to live in Andalasia Nancy: I wouldn’t say easier, we have dragons, ogre rebellions Giselle: In Andalasia the hardest part is finding your happily ever after, this world feels different Nancy: It’s true, Happily ever after is more a concept here Edward: If you don’t like this world, you should change it Nancy: Honey it’s not that easy Hogwashery , if anyone can make something out of this, it’s Giselle Is that a sword? Robert: Yeah Little tip next time tell them no bag, double wrapped Maybe leave the sword at home Don’t listen to him, you gotta do you, after all you’re riding this train over and over and over and over and over and over and then you die Just reality man Morgan: I feel like a human get well bouquet Don’t be silly, you look beautiful, the flowers on your skirt bring out the rest of flowers on your skirt Oh my she really is involved Ruby: Congrats you made it Giselle: You really do have a Talent for baked goods Malvina: It’s just a little fundraiser Giselle: For Monroe fest? What’s that? It’s the biggest event of the year, Malvina organises the whole thing, it’s spectacular, there’s also games and a fun little vote for king and queen Her son’s won eight years in a row Ruby: Even when he broke both his legs he won Malvina: It’s not rigged, I promise Giselle: I love festivals, have them all the time where I come from , they’re usually interrupted by evil forces of some kind, when they’re not , bring everyone together I would love to help if you need it Morgan: You should take her up on that, one time she made an entire forest from m and m’s and had it delivered to my class by pigeon Morgan you’re going to be great Just believe in yourself Malvina: I would love to buy you coffee and hear more about this m and m masterpiece , whatever else there is to know about our newest Monroenite Giselle: That would be so nice, thank you Excuse you Morgan: Living The full cliche here Tyson: They must have had an urgent selfie to post, you’re the new girl from New York Morgan: Morgan and you’re Tyson from cupcakes Tyson: You met my mother, I try to ignore whatever it is she’s doing, kind of intense Morgan: Well imagine if she was made of magic and sang at the drive thru Tyson come on! Edgar; Extra large cappuccino with five shts Malvina: Figurative Edgar: Now let me see, Herbal tea, cappu- no! Hibiscus Giselle: You’re right, he’s right Malvina: Oh Edgar knows everything, he’s my eyes and ears You guys move really quickly We go wherever she needs us to be Our town is really one big family, like every family everyone has their role, Once we figure out where you fit in, you can have anything you wish Giselle: You know I think you’re right I’m so glad you like it, do you think I should add music? Hi Morgan how did everything go? Morgan: Just fine Giselle: Does this mean it didn’t go well? Morgan: Well no one talked to me all day Yes that was sarcasm, my day sucked Giselle: I know you didn’t want to come here , it will get better Morgan: What if it doesn’t ? I should go back to school in New York, I can take the train with Dad, it’s fine Giselle: It’s only been a day , we’ll just figure out where you fit in Morgan: We won’t do anything, if I have to do this, I’ll do it on my own Meet me at the school, I have a magical idea This cannot be good Giselle: She is new here and she makes a great friend Giselle: We have festivals in Andalasia all the time , everyone knows the prince and princess now everyone will know you Morgan: I told you I could figure this out on my own , why can’t you let me do that? Malvina: Giselle You cannot have a table on the school unless you’re an official member of a committee Giselle: I’m sorry I didn’t know Malvina: Well you do now, ladies Rosaleen: Gladly Robert: She’s never been this late without calling, I think she’s turned off her phone, she’s grounded Giselle: Remember when we made this, she used to beg me for stories from Andalasia every night, her favourite ones were always about the memory tree, I don’t know what happened Robert: Teenagers do this all the time , it’s all it is Giselle: It’s more than that I don’t sing the right song anymore, I used to be good at things Robert: Things will get better,just give it a second Giselle: Robert do you like it here? Robert; We just got here Giselle: When was the last time you were Truly happy Well it’s not that I’m unhappy I’ll be riding on a train over and over Where were you? Morgan; In New York Giselle: By yourself? Morgan: I’ve been riding the subway alone since I was thirteen, let’s calm down What were you thinking? I was thinking you should have left me where I belong You belong here Morgan: No I don’t, you live in a magical world, the rest of us don’t Robert: You wanna be mad, be mad at me, you do not talk to your mother like that Morgan: My mother, she’s not my mother , she’s my stepmother , that’s all she’ll ever be Robert: She didn’t mean that Giselle: I think she did , I can’t change that - Once upon a time back there in Andalasia , rules were clear and colours didn’t fade Once you found your happily ever after , your happily ever after always stayed then I journeyed here where true love’s kiss was waiting , I became his princess I miss that fairytale life where you wake each day and nothing’s changed , and your daughter doesn’t feel estranged I thought I found a place where I could make things better All I did was change where I would fail What do I do where life can never be a fairytale - Oh pip my old friend I know, I just wish The wand of wishes, that’s the answer - So I make this wish where life so confusing and pain can cut you sharper than a Knfe I wish we could all have a life Where suns spring in the air and dragons and ogres are the only things that are scary , give us a fairytale life - Giselle: I guess it didn’t work, oh well , tomorrow is another day Why don’t you sleep over? We have some very comfortable twigs , I’m glad you’re here Good morning Good morning Giselle Giselle:, It’s not a very good morning at all I’m afraid Well then you’ll have to make it a good morning Giselle: You’re absolutely right friends - Get the table set Your coffee’s percolating Got some eggs to fry Oh my I’ve got your smoothie waiting Would you like your toast on wheat or rye Giselle: Morgan? - This day is new now, there’s work to do now, scrubbing and sweeping, all the pleasures of housekeeping I’m just estatic doing my daily chores, let’s sweep those floors Robert: Giselle You’re even more beautiful than you were yesterday - It’s another day, another quest , one more chance to put my mettle to the test What a sunny day, what a yummy breakfast , you’ll stay empty mister garbage fill Oh well Then it’s all hands on deck That’s rooms to dust And searching for a quest Our life is almost like a fairytale Robert; Well I’m off, another adventure, a chance to prove my worth and heroic fortitude only to return to you my fair lady glowing with a days worth of fully realised purpose Morgan: I am off too but Not without my little helper, chores are an adventure all on their own, that’s what I always say Pip: Those twigs were mrder on my sciatica I’m talking, how am I talking? Giselle: The wish I made last night it came true Pip: What are you talking about? Giselle; We have a fairytale life Pip: Jumping jelly sticks we got magic Look all around us, life will be so full of song and laughter and you can bet we’ll get our happily ever after Morgan: It’s the queen Giselle: Modernlasia has a queen and she’s a magic queen, those are always fun Pip; Yeah ain’t sure how fun she looks Malvina: Doing some last minute shopping for tonight Giselle: What’s tonight? Gasps Giselle: Your majesty For the festival m’ lady Giselle: Oh the festival, is that still happening? Malvina: Why wouldn’t it? no power on Earth could stop it , it’s my gift to the people Giselle: Of course your majesty Malvina: That’s an interesting trinket Giselle: Why don’t you focus on your little festival? Baked goods are what you do best your majesty You know I was just realising this is her very first festival in Modernlasia, have to get you a new dress , get right on that Malvina: Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most powerful of them all? Did you not hear the question? I did your majesty, just don’t want to end up shattered on the floor if I can help it He mustn’t have understood the question, We said most powerful not prettiest , this guy I don’t know what’s happening Malvina: I do, It’s that wand she’s being so coy about, it’s dripping with magic , even a fool could see that , you two get it for me Ruby: You mean steal it? Rosaleen: Yes your majesty Malvina: Oh Giselle what have you done? Giselle: Dresses certainly are different Morgan: How do I look? Giselle: Oh Morgan you look wonderful, what do you think? Morgan: It’s beautiful Giselle: We’ll take it Morgan: You really don’t have to do that, I’m sure it’s very expensive Giselle: That’s really a very aggressive twinkle You know I was thinking, I really do have a figure for fashion The finest hourglass would shatter with envy Let’s try them all Pip: What’s that smell? oh Hey it’s me, I fell into a gutter , you buy the whole town? Giselle: It’s not all for me, picture our Morgan the belle of the ball in this Oh , well Well Morgan: It looks different in this light Giselle: Hardly fit for a maid Pip: Not exactly how I would have put it , what? It was a little judgy Morgan: Well I’m off to market then I’ll return for the ball Oh thank you for everything stepmother Giselle: Stepmother? My hair is so high and my dress so low , of course I want that dress made from rags, people like me always do Pip; Like who? What are you talking about? Giselle: Oh no I’m afraid my wish is turning me into Pip: Into what? Turning me into? Pip: Into what? A wicked stepmother Pip: What? Oh I can totally see that Whose rathole is this? Giselle: Morgan’s , stepdaughters always live in attics or dungeons, you know what this means? I am the villain of Modernlasia Pip: Well you’re not the only one That’s silly , there’s only one villain except for minions and things you didn’t know were villains Modernlasia’s different because there’s you and that evil queen you made Giselle: She’s not evil Pip: Have you seen that outfit? With the big gestures and the crazy eyes You better unwish that I don’t feel so Giselle: What’s wrong? Stepmothers don’t have cute chipmunks as friends , they have Pip: Cats, evil ones , I can’t be a cat, they eat chipmunks, I’m gonna be sick Robert; Adventure out here, a fellow in distress, finally Are you a dragon slayer? Robert: I shall slay the beast I wouldn’t , it is very large And cranky Robert; A very large and cranky dragon is just what I’ve been looking for Have you done this before? Robert; Of course, I have slayed many a dragon I shall persevere , I shall conquer the pregnant beast No offense but you should find another profession Pip: What are you doing? Giselle: Nancy said if we had any problems , all we had to do was ask Scroll; magical wand wishing experience, any questions you shall have, just ask and I shall appear Pip: Hey we’ve got no time for this Good kitty Giselle: I’m sorry, My friends a little anxious because we need to undo a wish as soon as possible Scroll: Didn’t like what you got? Giselle: I wished for fairytale life and it turned the town into a place like Andalasia and I’m slowly turning into an evil stepmother Pip: And I’m a soon to be evil cat Scroll: You changed the world , you changed the world? You know how much magic it takes to make that happen? You know where all that magic comes from? Andalasia This is world ending stuff This is definitely a wish to be unwished Giselle: We need to know how to unwish the wish Scroll: Welcome to magical world, it’s you , we always build in a certain amount of time in case you change your mind Thank goodness you are not all villain yet Careful with the tassels How far along are we? Wicked Giselle: Wicked good Scroll: The other three are vain Giselle: I’m not vain , just look good in everything Scroll: There it is Cruel and ambitious Your clock has not yet run out Pip: What kind of clock do you mean? Scroll: Could be anything, Have you seen the flower petals dripping ? How about clock counting down to midnight with an omnibus sound ? Pretty on the nose, that’s classic stuff You know that’s not a litter box, that’s where I live Pip; What happens at midnight? Scroll: Everything is set and nothing is what it was before, your wish is permanent for all time, I did that for effect All you have to do is use the wand labelled wand Where is it? Giselle; It’s gone Scroll: Good luck with everything That means it’s cruelty, can’t let this happen, have to fight it Have to find a way to stop this Pip; I have to lick this for some reason Giselle; It’s going to be okay As we say in Andalasia magic fixes everything or breaks it then we need even more magic to undo the magic then everything’s fine At least I look fine That’s not important Speak for yourself, Robert will appreciate it it If he isn’t slain by something, oh my god she’s right, I’m right, he thinks he’s a prince with a sword Morgan, Although nothing ever happens to young girls in Andalasia they just sing and pick flowers or sometimes get trapped in a tower or kidnapped by trolls or witches Oh my Good morning Morgan, ready for the festival? Morgan; Of course , my stepmother even bought me a new dress, she’s never done that before -everyone’s giddy with anticipation I’ll be hanging flowers unscented flowers to enhance the festive nation They’ll be merry men in the courtyard even waltzing in the halls Won’t it just be perfect Won’t it just be perfect Won’t it just be perfect Don’t you think it’ll be just perfect Of course, isn’t it always? It’s another perfect Modernlasian morning Shiny children playing beneath shiny sky , every bird singing extra prettily, t’s perfect So why aren’t I? Everyday I play it, Who I really am, I’ll never let them see It’s another perfect Modernlasian morning I’m feeling deep inside where the weird parts of me hide, maybe perfect isn’t perfect for me Admit there’s adventure Admit longing for romance Everyday I crave I could do it if ever given the chance There’s a joy of possibility , I have a feeling by the corner or out by the bay some kind of change could be coming my way Wildly imperfect but Perfectly right for me I never wanted to be perfect , just a chance to do and be what’s right for me Tyson: This fruit is very squishy today Morgan: Well then I would be careful, the squishy dragon fruit can be a little bit grumpy Merchant: Can I help you love? Giselle: Do you have anything that can reverse magic you didn’t intend to use? Perhaps a poultice or an unguent or a those can be very powerful Merchant: No unguents no, this one makes your eyelashes curly Giselle: Curly eyelashes , why not? Tyson: So I assume you’ll be attending the ball this evening? Morgan: I am Giselle: Evil stepmothers never take this well Since this is your first ball maybe I can show you around , make sure you have the perfect partners I’ll give it to her Ruby: I got it for her Rosaleen: I’m the one who carried you out of there Malvina: Can’t be that powerful, I suppose I should see what I can do with it, I wish Ruby was a toad Mirror, what kind of magic is this? Scroll: Ask any question and i shall appear That’s an easy one, it’s Andalasian magic , who are you? Grab it Scroll: Please I’m ticklish over there, my tassels , careful with the fine print Malvina: Did you say any question? Scroll: Away, poof Malvina: No you’re not going anywhere I have questions, lots and lots of questions , start from the beginning or I might do a little editing Morgan: Oh the most wonderful thing happened, Tyson asked me to the festival Giselle: But I’m afraid you won’t be attending the festival this evening after all You have far too many chores Morgan: But I’ve done all my chores Giselle: What about the carpets in the hall? Awfully dusty , windows, I can’t see a thing Then there’s the garden, chimneys filthy business Yes perhaps there were a few that I missed , surely they can wait Giselle: Are you speaking back to me! Morgan: No of course not , I would never Giselle: Perhaps you need to remember your place , can’t leave your room only for chores Morgan: But I promised Tyson Giselle: Oh come now Morgan a boy like Tyson has plenty of options , far better ones Can enjoy your evening From up here on your little perch , that’s sarcasm isn’t it? Not so hard to understand Morgan: Stepmother please you can’t be this cruel Giselle: I can’t help it dear , it’s just who I am Giant! What are you doing? Robert: I’m going to take this rope and tie it Help me, I’m stuck! Robert: You’re okay, the big bad giants gone Mommy! I turn around for one second We are in your debt You are truly a hero Robert; I wouldn’t say that Thanks to you, our family is safe, I’m forever grateful Going somewhere? Morgan; It’s not , it’s not what you think, I just had to tell Tyson why I wouldn’t be there, I’ll be back in no time at all Giselle: You will be because you’re not going Morgan? Morgan: Stepmother Are you okay? Giselle: Never better, back up to your tower It can’t be , not yet Morgan I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault , I wished for a fairytale life and it’s all gone horribly wrong Or horribly right She doesn’t know what she wants but I do Morgan you have to listen to me Perfect Morgan, Not so perfect after all Don’t you dare I’ll dare all I like Morgan; Stop it, you’re scaring me You’re not going anywhere like this, you have to go You have to do it before midnight Morgan: Have to do what? Giselle: Save us Wretched girl, you three, you look like you’re good with children , my darling needs tending to Pip: I feel Superior to all living things , why were we fighting this? Giselle: Indeed , who knew being a villain could feel so liberating Now we just need to find that wand, what have we here? Villains are many things, one thing we aren’t is powerful , that’s why we have to go through all these ridiculous manipulations, we don’t have any power of our own With Morgan gone, I’m not a stepmother anymore, it’s time for me to take on a new role in this town , I want to be Queen Pip: There’s already a Queen, I feel she’s really attached to the role Giselle: A villain like Malvina can’t resist showing how bad she is to the world What are we doing? I say we give it to her then I have a job for you my pet Pip: Do I get to be evil now? Giselle: Oh yes Giselle: Mirror mirror in her hand who is the most insecure woman whose constant need to ask her own reflection for validation suggests what she really needs to do is to love herself in all the land? Malvina: Giselle a pleasure as always Giselle: I imagine it is, I was hoping I would run into you and look at this it seems I have Malvina: What can I do for you? Giselle: I thought it only fair to give you a chance to hand Modernlasia over to me peacefully before any unpleasantness begins Malvina: And why would I do that? Giselle: This town is mine , I think we both know that Malvina : Sadly I’m going to have you decline your generous offer, had a little chat with your scroll friend It’s clear Modernlasia is everything it was meant to be Giselle: I tried but if you won’t accept the offer you know there’s only one thing that has to happen Ruby: Dance off Rosaleen: See what I gotta put up with Giselle: One of us has to die Malvina: Say midnight Giselle: I’m so sorry to ruin your little party with all this destroying business Malvina: Oh Giselle you are hilarious, Delusional but hilarious - Don’t feel You are upsetting me , I barely even know you’re there Sorry were you speaking, you’re hard to see like a smell in the air Trying to be clever, that makes no sense You don’t see your only insignificance well it’s time you learnt You may think you’re bad but darling I am badder Half bit A wanna be villain You’re a garden snake and I’m a big buff otter Face it I’m so much better than you Surely you can see it’s ridiculous Two villains in one fairytale this town is too small for the both of us So off into the sunset you should sail I cand send my minions to help you pack I’ll try not to crow I will miss you Alas but you have got to go You may claim to be bad but I’m the better badder The mistress of evil I’m the heart and brains , you’re just the bladder How Can you believe you’re badder than I? No one would bother to tell a story with Maleficent and Cruella My cheekbones are sharper My hair is much more high Jump down a rabbit well Go climb a beanstalk Someone put a stop to her Maybe there’s a house I can drop on her Is a poisoned apple too cliche? Take her to a Roof and toss her off Maybe there’s a spell to make her disappear and when she’s gone, I will the own the town and everyone will cheer You are sorta bad you are so much badder That’s why I have to see she lives happily never after Once I sit atop the villain ladder, everyone in Mondernlasia will totally be in my thrall - Everyone will say Queen we praise ya Because I will not just be badder Nasty Everlasty Flabbergasty Baddest of them all Morgan: What happened? The well Oh no no no , why am I so squinty? And my eyebrows are so pointy , what the heck am I wearing? Is this Andalasia? Not what I imagined? Nancy; Morgan what are you doing here? Edward: Did it by chance include A giant hole in the sky Last night that mysterious hole appeared started pulling all of our magic into some other place Nancy: Tell me what happened Then what? The last thing I remember Giselle was acting really really cruel and that I had to fix it Nancy: The wishing wand, she must have used it Edward: What could she wish for that did this? Morgan: Turned The town into some kind of Fairytale place like this Edward: Morgan a wish so big it changed a world wouldn’t need a little bit of magic, it’ll need all of it, every last bit Morgan: Wait but everything here is made of magic, if that’s a lot, what happens to Andalasia? Edward: If we can’t reverse it everything in Andalasia will be gone forever Ogre: I don’t want Andalasia to disappear forever Morgan: No there must be something we can do, Giselle just needs to remember who she is and she can fix all of this I know she can Edward, of course The magic of memories Morgan: Wait you mean Giselle’s memory tree? It’s real? Nancy: It is and it’s the strongest magic there is Robert: Who are you? We’re garden fairies, I’d turn around if i were you unless you want to get thrown off the roof Robert: Seems like the babysitters have had quite the day Giselle: So have I dear Giselle: We’re going to need something much more regal than this and minions , we’re definitely going to need minions if we want anything done right Robert: Where did you say Morgan was again ? Giselle: Oh who knows, Probably singing to a mouse or something Tonight’s about me Robert: Stop the carriage Morgan wouldn’t just disappear like this unless something happened, something’s wrong, I’m going to find her Giselle: Another fruitless quest, good luck with that Drive Morgan: Okay I knew it was a tree house But that’s a tree house , that’s it, that’s the tree Oh no it’s dad Edward: Never fear we will come up with something very smart very last minute that solves all our problems Nancy: Edward Edward: What? That’s how it works here Nancy: There’s got to be something we can do Morgan: You know for a little girl with no mon, seeing a princess hanging from a billboard was pretty magical, I didn’t know it was real, I didn’t even think about it , what was that? Nancy: You brought the flower back to life Morgan: How? I’m not magic Edward; But these memories are, they live inside you as well , Morgan you’re the key That’s what giselle meant when she said you had to save us So maybe if I take back this tree, it’ll remember who she is, is good Edward: I think we’re running out of time Morgan: What if it doesn’t work? Nancy: It will, you just have to remember the good in those moments because you’re part of them , feel them and they’ll do the rest - Memories are magic Morgan, doesn’t matter how unmemorable they seem, ordinary moments like a look or laugh you shared can bring a gleam of light tin your bleakest darkest hour , memories can save us Morgan, when you add them all together, they paint a picture of all the love you’ve shared and all the love you’ve received We can choose to use it if we dare Power, we find it in the memories we share and we feel it like the sun When we need real magic Morgan, this is where we go Find the song inside you that your memories seem to know Let it grow Let it glow Nancy: Pick one Edward: You go, somewhere needs to stay behind to protect our world - Out of rock grows a flower, a ray of sunshine melts a cave of ice , what makes us strong, love power Love power It’s like soaring on a magic broomstick to the sky above We fly on love Love power Love power Just remember the memories can show us the power of love Morgan: I I think I know what to do Nancy: What is that? Morgan: It’s my memory tree, I can bring her back I think I’m gonna go get some air Malvina: Whatever dear back by midnight Rosaleen: I should be at that party but instead I’m here babysitting you, babysitting this wand all because she doesn’t trust you Ruby; Maybe she doesn’t trust you Rosaleen: I’m not the one she tried to turn into a toad Ruby: Maybe she likes toads Rosaleen: No matter what reptile she turns you I am her right hand woman which means you do the dumb stuff and i look fabulous at the festival Ruby: I’ll tell Malvina you abandoned the wand and then we’ll see who’s the warty toad Rosaleen: I’m not a warty anything Ruby: Look in the mirror lately , an honest one It’s gonna be like that then I guess Pip: Get a life, she hates you both Scroll: Incoming There are no more questions Pip: You ladies have been great but I got a ball to catch Giselle: Do I look ready? There you are my pet, any problems? Pip: No, turns out I’m good at evil Giselle: I’m ready Pip: I hope I’m not undressed , what is this? I’m with her, This is my stop Hello mr wig , hey, hey, hey, you forgot about me Giselle: I wish to be queen of Modernlasia Tyson: Morgan where have you been? Are you okay? Morgan: I’m really not, can I get a lift? Tyson; Of course Giselle: I believe you are in my seat Malvina: You again, I believe it’s time we end this Giselle: Oh yes please Malvina: Why does this keep happening? Tyson: Is this my mother’s doing? Morgan: No it’s Andalasia, it’s breaking through Malvina: Guards destroy her I wish They’re just butterflies , idiots Rosaleen: Your majesty, your majesty, Ruby wants to tell you something about the wand Malvina: Oh does she? Giselle: Hi Rosaleen: She’s the one who left the wand, she deserves to be the toad You’re the one who left the canyon Robert: Nancy Nancy: Robert Robert: Where’s Giselle? Nancy: She’s fine Robert; People are going crazy Nancy: I know, I know, it’s Giselle she’s under a curse Robert: Morgan Morgan: Dad Robert: I have searched both hinder and yond When did my daughter get some brave? Time to be heroes Tyson: Mother stop this Giselle Giselle: Useless garbage Morgan: No Nancy: Giselle no Giselle: This is a very nice place, this is a date Young Morgan: Giselle Giselle: I’m right here Morgan I’m not going anywhere Pip; Oh Oh what the heck is going on around here, Giselle? Giselle: Robert Robert: My sweet Giselle you’ve come back to me Giselle: I don’t want minions Giselle: Where’s Robert? Nancy: He stayed behind to protect Andalasia, all the magic is disappearing, everything Andalasian will die Robert; That means you Giselle: I can fix this Malvina: Stop, I wouldn’t if I were you Tyson: Mother what are you doing? Malvina: Relax darling just a little sleeping potion, was meant for Giselle but this will do Helpful scroll explained at the last stroke of midnight your wish is permanent, I quite like this world, drop that wand and let the clock strike Giselle: If I do that, Andalasia will die Malvina: If you don’t, she will Giselle: This isn’t you Malvina: It is now just ask you Robert: It can’t end like this Tyson: I’m coming with you Malvina: Some heroes Tyson: What do I do? Robert: It can’t strike midnight Giselle: You have to wish a new wish , my magic is almost gone Malvina: That droll little scroll explained no one but a true Andalasian can use that broken kindling Morgan; She’s right, I’m not a true daughter of Andalasia Giselle: You are a true daughter of Andalasia because you’re my daughter And I’ll tell you how I absolutely know - It’s how I would make a world for you that never breaks your heart where you can grow and thrive , you can flower , I will always love you Morgan , I’m so proud of how I know you’ll carry on I’ve known a lot of magic in my life but never anything as strong as power My love for you has power and you’ll have it inside you when I’m gone Morgan: Please don’t go, please don’t leave me, what do I wish for? Malvina: Tick tock, wait where are the chimes? Why isn’t it midnight? Morgan: I wish I was home with my Mom Giselle: Sweet thing Morgan: Mom Giselle: Morgan Morgan: I was so scared Giselle: I know but you saved me , you saved us Robert: I had the craziest dreams last night Morgan: He really doesn’t remember anything? Giselle: Only the person with the magic remembers it clearly , to everyone else it’s like a dream Morgan: I can’t wait for you to explain he was singing with a garbage pall, good luck with that Rosaleen: I had a horrible dream about toads Ruby: Me too Giselle: Morning Edgar Edgar: Giselle, the usual? Giselle: I’m sorry to interrupt , I wanted to apologise for a lot of things I really wanted Morgan to be happy here and I guess I got carried away Malvina: I have a tendency to get carried away , there is a spot on the committee Giselle: I’d like that Malvina: Oh we’re hugging Pip: So a new life began for Giselle and her family Without the magic this time , Robert opened a small practice in town and never rode the train again Sofia sprouted up and Morgan Tyson: Morgan Pip: Well she was still a teenager Morgan; Stop looking at me it’s creepy Giselle: Not looking Giselle: Where is Edward? Did he stay behind? Nancy: He’s here, engaged in battle Edward: I’m not dad You merely grazed me , look I’m barely a limp You’re tiny ones are quite fierce as are you Robert who saved the day with my sword Robert: I hung up the sword , turns out I don’t really need it here Edward: Tragedy, can I have it back? Shall we feast? Nancy: But first a gift Edward: Whatever dish you wish shall appear on this plate That is all that it does, we’re fairly certain Giselle: Maybe you should make the wish Edward: I must defend my honour Giselle: What was that for? Edward: I love you, I can’t wish for anything more - And some days are good and not so but none that we take for granted Cause it’s all the joys and adversities making these memories and although here in this reality my happy ever after might not be , every moment it seems even more Even more Even more Enchanted	{"type": "movie", "show": "Disenchanted ( 2022)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Narrator:'Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems, in a place that perhaps you've seen in your dreams. For the story that you are about to be told, took place in the holiday worlds of old. Now, you've probably wondered where holidays come from. If you haven't, I'd say it's time you gn. This Is Halloween Shadow: Boys and girls of every age Wouldn't you like to see something strange? Siamese Shadow: Come with us and you will see This, our town of Halloween Pumpkin Patch Chorus: This is Halloween, this is Halloween Pumpkins scream in the dad of night Ghosts: This is Halloween, everybody make a scene Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright It's our town, everybody scream In this town of Halloween Creature Under Bed: I am the one hiding under your bed Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red Man Under The Stairs: I am the one hiding under your stairs Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair Corpse Chorus: This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Vampires: In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song Mayor: In this town, don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next surprise Corpse Chorus:Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll scream Harlequin Demon, Werewolf, and Melting man Scream! This is Halloween Red 'n' black, slimy green Werewolf: Aren't you scared? Witches: Well, that's just fine Say it once, say it twice Take the chance and roll the dice Ride with the moon in the dad of night Hanging Tree: Everybody scream, everybody scream Hanged Men: In our town of Halloween Clown:I am the Clown with the tear-away face Here in a flash and gone without a trace Second Ghoul: I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?" I am the wind blwing through your hair Oogie Boogie Shadow: I am the Shadow on the moon at night Filling your dreams to the brim with fright Corpse Chorus:This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Child Corpse Trio: Tender lumplings everywhere Life's no fun without a good scare Parent Corpses: That's our job, but we're not mean In our town of Halloween Corpse Chorus:In this town Mayor: Don't we love it now? Mayor with Corpse Chorus:Everyone's waiting for the next surprise Corpse Chorus:Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back And scream like a banshee Make you jump out of your skin This is Halloween, everybody scream Won't ya please make way for a very special guy Our man Jack is king of the pumpkin patch Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now Everyone: This is Halloween, this is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Corpse Child Trio: In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song Everyone: La la-la la, Halloween! Halloween! (etc.) Everyone: [applause] Witches:Cackling Clown:It's over! Behemoth: We did it! [tummy bump] Werewolf: Wasn't it terrifying? Hyde & Cyclops: What a night! Mayor: Great Halloween everybody. Jack: I believe it was our most horrible yet! Thank you everyone. Mayor: No, thanks to you, Jack. Without your brilliant leadership - Jack: Not at all Mayor. Vampire: (fat) You're such a scream, Jack Witch: You're a Witch's fondest dream! Witch: (little) You made walls fall, Jack Witch: Walls fall? You made the very mountains crack, Jack Dr. Finkelstein: The deadly nightshade you slipped me wore off, Sally. Sally: Let go! Dr. Finkelstein:You're not ready for so much excitement! Sally: Yes I am! Dr. Finkelstein:You're coming with me! Sally: No I'm not! [Sally pulls out the thread that's holding her arm on] Dr. Finkelstein:Come back here you foolish oaf! Ow! Creature From Black Lagoon: Ooo Jack, you make wounds ooze and flesh crawl. Jack: Thank you, thank you, thank you -- very much Mayor: Hold it! We haven't given out the prizes yet! Our first award goes to the Vampires for most blood drained in a single evening. [applause] Mayor: A frightening and honorable mention goes to the fabulous Dark Lagoon leeches Sax Player: Nice work, Bone Daddy. Jack: Yeah, I guess so. Just like last year and the year before that and the year before that. [entering graveyard] Jack's Lament Performed by Danny Elfman There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best For my talents are renowned far and wide When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night I excel without ever even trying With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms I have seen grown men give out a shriek With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed moan I have swept the very bravest off their feet Yet year after year, it's the same routine And I grow so weary of the sound of screams And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King Have grown so tired of the same old thing Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones An emptiness began to grow There's something out there, far from my home A longing that I've never known I'm the master of fright, and a demon of light And I'll scare you right out of your pants To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky And I'm known throughout England and France And since I am dad, I can take off my head To recite Shakespearean quotations No animal nor man can scream like I can With the fury of my recitations But who here would ever understand That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin Would tire of his crown, if they only understood He'd give it all up if he only could Oh, there's an empty place in my bones That calls out for something unknown The fame and praise come year after year Does nothing for these empty tears [leaving graveyard and entering forest] Sally: Jack, I know how you feel. [Sally gathers herbs] [back at Dr. Finkelstein's castle] Dr. Finkelstein:Sally, you've come back. Sally: I had to. Dr. Finkelstein:For this? [showing her arm] Sally: Yes. Dr. Finkelstein:Shall we then. That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off -- Sally: Three times! Dr. Finkelstein:You're mine you know! I made you with my own hands. Sally: You can make other creations. I'm restless, I can't help it. Dr. Finkelstein:It's a phase my dear, it'll pass. We need to be patient that's all. Sally: But, I don't want to be patient. [forest] Zero: bark Jack: No Zero, not now. I'm not in the mood. Zero: bark Jack: All right. [giving Zero a rib from himself] Here ya go boy. [Zero gets rib and shows off his nose] [Back to Halloweentown] Mayor: Morning gents [to the band] [humming This Is Halloween, walks up to Jack's front door and rings bell] Mayor: Jack, you home? [getting worried, switches face and knocks with desperation then switch back to happy face] Mayor: Jack? I've got the plans for next Halloween. I need to go over them with you so we can get started. Mayor: (with worried face) Jack, please, I'm only an elected an official here, I can't make decisions by myself. Jack, answer me!! [falls down steps] Accordian Player: He's not home. Mayor: Where is he? Sax Player: He hasn't been home all night. Mayor: ooooo [back to forest] Jack: (yawning) Where are we? It's someplace new. Zero: bark bark Jack: What is this? [Jack sees Valentine's tree, shamrock tree, Easter egg tree, turkey tree] Jack: [gasps] [sees Xmas tree] [turns knob and gets sucked in] Zero: bark bark Jack: Whoa!!!! What's This? Performed by Danny Elfman What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere What's this? There's white things in the air What's this? I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming Wake up, Jack, this isn't fair What's this? What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong What's this? There's people singing songs What's this? The streets are lined with Little creatures laughing Everybody seems so happy Have I possibly gone daffy? What is this? What's this? There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads They're busy building toys And absolutely no one's dad There's frost on every window Oh, I can't believe my eyes And in my bones I feel the warmth That's coming from inside Oh, look What's this? They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss Why that looks so unique, inspired They're gathering around to hear a story Roasting chestnuts on a fre What's this? What's this? In here they've got a little tree, how qeer And who would ever think And why? They're covering it with tiny little things They've got electric lights on strings And there's a smile on everyone So, now, correct me if I'm wrong This looks like fun This looks like fun Oh, could it be I got my wish? What's this? Oh my, what now? The children are asleep But look, there's nothing underneath No ghouls, no Witches here to scream and scare them Or ensnare them, only little cozy things Secure inside their dreamland What's this? The monsters are all missing And the nightmares can't be found And in their place there seems to be Good feeling all around Instead of screams, I swear I can hear music in the air The smell of cakes and pies Are absolutely everywhere The sights, the sounds They're everywhere and all around I've never felt so good before This empty place inside of me is filling up I simply cannot get enough I want it, oh, I want it Oh, I want it for my own I've got to know I've got to know What is this place that I have found? What is this? Christmas Town, hmm... Sandy Claws: Ho Ho Ho Ho ho ho ho ho Jack: hmm.. [Halloweentown] Clown:This has never happened before. Witch: It's suspicious. Witch: (little) It's peculiar. Vampires: It's scary. Mayor: Stand aside. Werewolf: grrrr Mayor: Coming through. We've got find Jack. There's only 365 days left till next Halloween. Werewolf: 364! Mayor: Is there anywhere we've forgotten to check? Clown:I looked in every mausoleum. Witches:We opened the sarcophagi. Hyde: I tromped through the pumpkin patch. Vampire: I peeked behind the Cyclops's eye. I did! But he wasn't there. Mayor: It's time to sound the alarms. [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] Sally: Frog's breath will overpower any odor. Bitter. [coughing] Worm's wart. Where's that worm's wart? Dr. Finkelstein:Sally, that soup ready yet? Sally: Coming....lunch Dr. Finkelstein:Ah, what's that? Worm's wart, mmm, and...frog's breath. Sally: What's wrong? I-I thought you liked frog's breath. Dr. Finkelstein:Nothing's more suspicious than frog's breath. Until you taste it I won't swallow a spoonful. Sally: I'm not hungry... [knocking spoon] Oops! Dr. Finkelstein:You want me to starve. An old man like me who hardly has strength as it is. Me, to whom you owe your very life. Sally: Oh don't be silly. [eats soup with trick spoon] Mmmm, see. Scrumptious. [Dr. Finkelstein eats soup] [Halloween] Mayor: Did anyone think to dredge the lake? Vampire: Ah, this morning! Zero: barks Witch: Hear that? Witch: (little) What? Witch: Shh! Zero: barks Vampire: Zero! [fanfare as Jack: and Zero arrive] Kid: Jack's back! Mayor: Where have you been? Jack: Call a town meeting and I'll tell everyone all about it. Mayor: When? Jack: Immediately! Mayor: [in his Mayor truck] Town meeting, town meeting, town meeting tonight, town meeting tonight [at meeting] Clown:[giggles as he hits Sally] Jack: Listen everyone. I want to tell you about Christmastown. Town Meeting Song Performed by Danny Elfman and Cast Jack: There are objects so peculiar They were not to be believed All around, things to tantalize my brain It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen And as hard as I try I can't seem to describe Like a most improbable dream But you must believe when I tell you this It's as real as my skull and it does exist Here, let me show you This is a thing called a present The whole thing starts with a box Devil:A box? is it steel? Werewolf: Are there locks? Harlequin Demon: Is it filled with a pox? Devil, Werewolf, Harlequin Demon: A pox How delightful, a pox Jack: If you please Just a box with bright-colored paper And the whole thing's topped with a bow Witches:A bow? But why? How ugly What's in it? What's in it? Jack: That's the point of the thing, not to know Clown:It's a bat Will it bend? Creature Under The Stairs: It's a rat Will it break? Undersea Gal: Perhaps it s the head that I found in the lake Jack: Listen now, you don't understand That's not the point of Christmas land Now, pay attention We pick up an oversized sock And hang it like this on the wall Mr. Hyde: Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot? Medium Mr. Hyde: Let me see, let me look Small Mr. Hyde: Is it rotted and covered with gook? Jack: Um, let me explain There's no foot inside, but there's candy Or sometimes it's filled with small toys Mummy and Winged Demon: Small toys Winged Demon: Do they bite? Mummy: Do they snap? Winged Demon: Or explode in a sack? Corpse Kid: Or perhaps they just spring out And scare girls and boys Mayor: What a splendid idea This Christmas sounds fun I fully endorse it Let's try it at once Jack: Everyone, please now, not so fast There's something here that you don't quite grasp Well, I may as well give them what they want And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last For the ruler of this Christmas land Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice Least that's what I've come to understand And I've also heard it told That he's something to behold Like a lobster, huge and red When he sets out to slay with his rain gear on Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms That is, so I've heard it said And on a dark, cold night Under full moonlight He flies into a fog Like a vulture in the sky And they call him Sandy Claws Well, at least they're excited But they don't understand That special kind of feeling in Christmas land Oh, well... [Jack's house] Jack: There's got to be a logical way to explain this Xmas thing. [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] Dr. Finkelstein:You've poisoned me for the last time you wretched girl. [locks Sally away] [dingdong] Dr. Finkelstein:Oh my head...the door is open. Jack: Hel-lo Dr. Finkelstein:Jack Skellington, up here my boy. Jack: Dr. I need to borrow some equipment. Dr. Finkelstein:Is that so, whatever for? Jack: I'm conducting a series of experiments. Dr. Finkelstein:How perfectly marvelous. Curiosity klled the cat, you know. Jack: I know. Dr. Finkelstein:Come on into the lab and we'll get you all fixed up. Sally: Hmm. Experiments? [Jack's house] Jack: Zero, I'm home. [Jack examines & experiments with Xmas stuff] Jack: Interesting reaction....but what does it mean? [Sally's room] [after Sally jumps to give Jack his basket...] Dr. Finkelstein:You can come out now if you promise to behave. Sally. Sally. Oooh! Gone again! [Jack's house] [Sally gives Jack his basket and sneaks off and picks a flower which catches on fre] Jack's Obsession Performed by Danny Elfman and Cast CITIZENS OF HALLOWEEN Something's up with Jack Something's up with Jack Don't know if we're ever going to get him back He's all alone up there Locked away inside Never says a word Hope he hasn't died Something's up with Jack Something's up with Jack Jack: Christmas time is buzzing in my skull Will it let me be? I cannot tell There's so many things I cannot grasp When I think I've got it, and then at last Through my bony fingers it does slip Like a snowflake in a fiery grip Something here I'm not quite getting Though I try, I keep forgetting Like a memory long since past Here in an instant, gone in a flash What does it mean? What does it mean? In these little bric-a-brac A secret's waiting to be cracked These dolls and toys confuse me so Confound it all, I love it though Simple objects, nothing more But something's hidden through a door Though I do not have the key Something's there I cannot see What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? Hmm... I've read these Christmas books so many times I know the stories and I know the rhymes I know the Christmas carols all by heart My skull's so full, it's tearing me apart As often as I've read them, something's wrong So hard to put my bony finger on Or perhaps it's really not as deep As I've been led to think Am I trying much too hard? Of course! I've been too close to see The answer's right in front of me Right in front of me It's simple really, very clear Like music drifting in the air Invisible, but everywhere Just because I cannot see it Doesn't mean I can't believe it You know, I think this Christmas thing It's not as tricky as it seems And why should they have all the fun? It should belong to anyone Not anyone, in fact, but me Why, I could make a Christmas tree And there's no reason I can find I couldn't handle Christmas time I bet I could improve it too And that's exactly what I'll do Hee,hee,hee Jack: Eureka!! This year, Christmas will be ours! Mayor: Patience, everyone. Jack has a special Job for each of us. Dr. Finkelstein, your Xmas assignment is ready. Dr. Finkelstein to the front of the line. Vampire:What kind of a noise is that for a baby to make? Jack: Perhaps it can be improved? Vampires: No problem! Jack: I knew it! Dr. thank you for coming. We need some of these. [showing picture of Santa and sleigh] Dr. Finkelstein: Hmm.. their construction should be exceedingly simple. I think. Mayor: How horrible our Xmas will be. Jack: No--how jolly. Mayor: [switches face] Oh, how jolly our Xmas will be. [gets pelted] What are you doing here? Lock: Jack: sent for us. Shock: Specifically. Barrel: By name. Lock: Lock Shock: Shock Barrel: Barrel Mayor: Jack, Jack it's Oogie's boys! Jack: Ah, Halloween's finest trick or treaters. The job I have for you is top secret. It requires craft, cunning, mischief. Shock: And we thought you didn't like us, Jack. [giggles] Jack: Absolutely no one is to know about it. Not a soul. Now-- [whispers to LS&B] And one more thing -- leave that no account OOogie Boogie out of this! Barrel: Whatever you say, Jack. Shock: Of course Jack. Lock: Wouldn't dream of it Jack. [all said with their fingers crossed] Kidnap the Sandy Claws Performed by Paul Reubens, Catherine O'Hara, and Danny Elfman Lock, Shock, and Barrel:Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws Lock:I wanna do it Barrel:Let's draw straws Shock:Jack said we should work together Three of a kind Lock, Shock, and Barrel:Birds of a feather Now and forever Wheeee La, la, la, la, la Kidnap the Sandy Claws,Lock him up real tight Throw away the key and then Turn off all the lights Shock:First, we're going to set some bait Inside a nasty trap and wait When he comes a-sniffing we will Snap the trap and close the gate Lock:Wait! I've got a better plan To catch this big red lobster man Let's pop him in a boiling pot And when he's done we'll butter him up Lock, Shock and Barrel:Kidnap the Sandy Claws Throw him in a box Bury him for ninety years Then see if he talks Shock:Then Mr. Oogie Boogie Man Can take the whole thing over then He'll be so pleased, I do declare That he will cook him rare Lock, Shock and Barrel:Wheeee Lock: I say that we take a cannon Aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws:will be no more Shock:You're so stupid, think now lf we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will bat us black and green Lock, Shock and Barrel:Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag Throw him in the ocean Then, see if he is sad Lock and Shock:Because Mr. Oogie Boogie is the meanest guy around If I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of town Barrel:He'll be so pleased by our success That he'll reward us too, I'll bet Lock, Shock and Barrel:Perhaps he'll make his special brew Of snake and spider stew Ummm! We're his little henchmen and We take our job with pride We do our best to please him And stay on his good side Shock:I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb Barrel:I'm not the dumb one Lock:You're no fun Shock:Shut up Lock:Make me Shock:I've got something, listen now This one is real good, you'll see We'll send a present to his door Upon there'll be a note to read Now, in the box we'll wait and hide Until his curiosity entices him to look inside Barrel: And then we'll have him One, two, three Lock, Shock and Barrel:Kidnap the Sandy Claws, bat him with a stick Lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick Kidnap the Sandy Claws, chop him into bits Mr. Oogie Boogie is sure to get his kicks Kidnap the Sandy Claws, see what we will see Lock him in a cage and then, throw away the key Oogie Boogie:Sandy Claws..hahaha [city hall] Jack: It goes something like this. [Jingle bells] How about it? Think you can manage? Person Inside Bass: a one, and a two, and a three, and a. . . [Jingle in a flat key by the band] Mayor: Next! Jack: Fantastic! Now why don't you all practice on that and we'll be in great shape. Sally, I need your help more than anyone's. Sally: You certainly do, Jack. I had the most terrible vision. Jack: That's splendid. Sally: No, it was about your Xmas. There was smoke and fre. Jack: That not my Xmas. My Xmas is filled with laughter and joy and this--my Sandy Claws outfit. I want you to make it. Sally: Jack, please, listen to me--it's going to be a disaster. Jack: How could it be--just follow the pattern. This part is red, the trim is white. Sally: It's a mistake, Jack. Jack: Now don't be modest, who else is clever enough to make my Sandy Claws:outfit. Mayor: Next! Jack: I have every confidence in you. Sally: But it seems wrong to me, very wrong. [to Behemoth] Jack: This device is called a nutcracker. Lock, Shock & Barrel:Jack, Jack we caught him we caught him. Jack: Perfect! Open it up. Quickly! [opens to reveal the Easter bunny] Jack: That's not Sandy Claws! Shock:It isn't? Barrel:Who is it? Behemoth: Bunny! Jack: Not Sandy Claws...take him back! Lock: We followed your instructions-- Barrel:we went through the door-- Jack: Which door? There's more than one. Sandy Claws is behind the door shaped like this. [shows Xmas cookie in shape of tree] Shock:I told you! [LS&B start fighting] Jack: Arr!! [making scary face at LS&B] Jack: I'm very sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Take him home first and apologize again. Be careful with Sandy Claws when you fetch him. Treat him nicely. Lock, Shock & Barrel:Got it. We'll get it right next time. [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] Dr. Finkelstein: You will be a decided improvement over that treacherous Sally. Igor: Master, the plans. Dr. Finkelstein: Excellent, Igor. [throws him a dog bone] Making Christmas Performed by Danny Elfman and the Citizens of Halloween Clown:This time, this time Group: Making Christmas Accordian Player: Making Christmas Mayor: Making Christmas, making Christmas Is so fine Group: It's ours this time And won't the children be surprised It's ours this time Child Corpse: Making Christmas Mummy: Making Christmas Mummy and Corpse Child: Making Christmas Witches:Time to give them something fun Witches and Creature Lady: They'll talk about for years to come Group: Let's have a cheer from everyone It's time to party Duck Toy: Making Christmas, making Christmas Vampires: Snakes and mice get wrapped up so nice With spider legs and pretty bows Vampires and Winged Demon: It's ours this time Corpse Father: All together, that and this Corpse Father, Wolf Man: With all our tricks we're Corpse Father, Wolf Man, Devil:Making Christmastime Wolf Man: Here comes Jack Jack: I don't believe what's happening to me My hopes, my dreams, my fantasies Hee, hee, hee, hee Harlequin: Won't they be impressed, I am a genius See how I transformed this old rat Into a most delightful hat Jack: Hmm, my compliments from me to you On this your most intriguing hat Consider though this substitute A bat in place of this old rat Huh! No, no, no, now that's all wrong This thing will never make a present It's been dad now for much too long Try something fresher, something pleasant Try again, don't give up Three Mr. Hydes: All together, that and this With all our tricks we're making Christmastime (Instrumental) Group: This time, this time Jack: It's ours! Group: Making Christmas, making Christmas La, la, la It's almost here Group and Wolf Man: And we can't wait Group and Harlequin: So ring the bells and celebrate Group: 'Cause when the full moon starts to climb We'll all sing out Jack: It's Christmastime Hee, hee, hee [Christmastown] Sandy Claws: Kathleen, Bobby, Susie, yes, Susie's been nice. Nice, nice, naughty, nice, nice, nice. There are hardly any naughty children this year. [door chime: jingle all the way] Sandy Claws: Now who could that be? Lock, Shock & Barrel:Trick or treat! Sandy Claws: Huh? [back to Halloweentown] [to Jack in Sandy garb] Sally: You don't look like yourself Jack, not at all. Jack: Isn't that wonderful. It couldn't be more wonderful! Sally: But you're the Pumpkin King. Jack: Not anymore. And I feel so much better now. Sally: Jack, I know you think something's missing. But -- [pricks Jack's finger with needle] Sally: Sorry Jack: You're right, something is missing but what? I've got the beard, the coat, the boots -- Lock, Shock & Barrel:Jack, Jack this time we bagged him! Lock: This time we really did! Barrel:He sure is big Jack! Shock:And heavy! Sandy Claws:Let me out! Jack: Sandy Claws in person. What a pleasure to meet you. Why you have hands! You don't have claws at all. Sandy Claws:Where am I? Jack: Surprised aren't you? I knew you would be. You don't need to have another worry about Xmas this year. Sandy Claws:What? Jack: Consider this a vacation Sandy, a reward. It's your turn to take it easy. Sandy Claws:But there must be some mistake! Jack: See that he's comfortable. Just a second fellows. Of course, that's what I'm missing. Sandy Claws:But -- Jack: Thanks! [took Sandy's hat] Sandy Claws:You just can't... Hold on where are we going now? Jack: ho ho ho Sally: This is worse than I thought, much worse. I know... Sandy Claws:Me? On vacation on Xmas eve? Barrel:Where are we taking him? Sally: Where? Lock: To Oogie boogie, of course. There isn't anywhere in the whole world more comfortable than that and Jack: said to make him comfortable. Didn't he? Shock & Barrel:Yes he did. Sandy Claws:Haven't you heard of peace on earth and good will toward men? Lock, Shock & Barrel:No! [Dr. Finkelstein's castle] [getting fog juice] Sally: This'll stop Jack. [working on new creation to replace Sally] Dr. Finkelstein:What a joy to think of all we'll have in common. We'll have conversations worth having. [Oogie's] Lock, Shock & Barrel:[laughing] Sandy Claws:Don't do this. Naughty children never get any presents. Shock:I think he might be too big. Lock: No he's not. If he can go down a chimney, he can fit down here! [in Oogie's lair] Oogie Boogie's Song Performed by Ken Page with Ed lvory Oogie Boogie: Well, well, well, what have we here? Sandy Claws, huh? Oh, I'm really scared So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, ha You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my eyes You're jokin' me, you gotta be This can't be the right guy He's ancient, he's ugly I don't know which is worse I might just split a seam now If I don't die laughing first Mr. Oogie Boogie:says There's trouble close at hand You'd better pay attention now 'Cause I'm the Boogie Man And if you aren't shakin' There's something very wrong 'Cause this may be the last time You hear the boogie song, ohhh Three Skeletons: Ohhh Oogie Boogie:Ohhh Two Skeletons in Vice: Ohhh Oogie Boogie:Ohhh Three Bats: Ohhh, he's the Oogie Boogie Man Santa: Release me now Or you must face the dire consequences The children are expecting me So please, come to your senses Oogie Boogie:You're jokin', you're jokin' I can't believe my ears Would someone shut this fella up I'm drownin' in my tears It's funny, I'm laughing You really are too much And now, with your permission I'm going to do my stuff Santa: What are you going to do? Oogie Boogie:I'm gonna do the best I can Oh, the sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess With lives on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine Santa: Release me fast or you will have to Answer for this heinous act Oogie Boogie:Oh, brother, you're something You put me in a spin You aren't comprehending The position that you're in It's hopeless, you're finished You haven't got a prayer 'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie And you ain't going nowhere [LS&B laughing] [back to Halloweentown] [Sally pouring fog juice into fountain] [Jack appears from coffin and there's applause] Mayor: Think of us as you soar triumphantly through the sky outshining every star. Your silhouette a dark blot on the moon, you who are our pride, you who are our glory, you who have frightened billions into an early grave. [the fog starts to get worse] Mayor: You who have eh, devastated the souls of the living... Jack: Oh no! We can't take off in this! The reindeer can't see an inch in front of their noses. Sally: Whew! Vampire: This fog's as thick as, as... Cyclops: Jelly brains Vampire: Thicker! Jack: There go all of my hope, my precious plans, my glorious dreams. Kid: [crying] There goes Xmas. Zero: barks Jack: No Zero, down boy. My what a brilliant nose you have. The better to light my way! To the head of the team, Zero! We're off! Sally: Wait Jack, no! [Jack is off!] [cheers] Jack: ho ho ha ha ha Sally: Good bye Jack, my dearest Jack. Oh how I hope my premonition is wrong. Sally's Song Performed by Catherine O'Hara I sense there's something in the wind That feels like tragedy's at hand And though I'd like to stand by him Can't shake this feeling that I have The worst is just around the bend And does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it's not to be What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions lead us then? Although I'd like to join the crowd In their enthusiastic cloud Try as I may, it doesn't last And will we ever end up together? No, I think not, it's never to become For I am not the one [Jack playing Sandy] Jack: ho ho ho ho ho ho he he he [lands loudly & wakes up little kid] A little kid Santa! [sees Jack] [gasps] Santa? Jack: Merry Xmas! And what is your name? Kid: uh uh Jack: That's all right. I have a special present for you anyway. There you go sonny. Hohohohehehe [goes back up chimney] Mother: And what did Santa bring you honey? [pulls out shrunken head] [mother and father scream] Jack: Merry Xmas! Cop [ON PHONE] Hello, police. [frantic peanuts-type talk] attcked by Xmas toys? That's strange. That's the second toy complaint we've had. Jack: hohohohehehe [kller wreath, snake, Vampire toy, kller duck] [screams] [Jack puts toys down chimneys] [screams] [Jack in the box chases fat kid] Jack: You're welcome one and all! Cop [on phone] Where'd you spot him? ---Fast as we can, ma'am ---Police ---I know, I know a skeleton ---Keep calm ---Turn off all the lights ---Make sure the doors are Locked ---Hello, police Newscaster: Reports are pouring in from all over the globe that an impostor is shamelessly impersonating Santa Claus, mocking and mangling this joyous holiday. Halloween residents [cheers] Newscaster: Police assure us that this moment, military units are mobilizing to stop the perpetrator of this heinous crime. Sally: [over the Newscaster] Jack, someone has to help Jack. Where'd they take that Sandy Claws? Newscaster: --Come back and save Xmas Jack: Look Zero, search lights! [fring at Jack] Jack: They're celebrating! They're thanking us for doing such a good job. [almost hits Zero] Jack: Whoa, careful down there, you almost ht us. Zero: bark Jack: It's ok, Zero. Head higher! [Oogie lair] Oogie Boogie:Are you a gamblin man, Sandy? Let's play. [sees Sally's leg] Oogie Boogie:Mmmm.. my, my....what have we here? [Sally's hands start to rescue Sandy] Sally: [whispering] I'll get you out of here. Oogie Boogie:Ah, lovely. Tickle, tickle, tickle. Tickle, tickle, tickle. [Sally's hands untie Sandy] [Oogie realizes that there's no body to the leg] Oogie Boogie:What?!? You trying to make a dupe out of me? [Oogie sucks Sandy and Sally back in] [back to Jack] Jack: Who's next on my list. Ah, little Harry and Jordan. Won't they be surprised. [sleigh gets ht] Jack: They're trying to ht us! ZERO! Zero: Bark [sleigh gets ht] [as Jack's falling] Jack: Merry Xmas to all and to all a good night... [Halloween] Werewolf: howl! Mayor: (with white face) I knew this Xmas thing was a bad idea. I felt it in my gut. Terrible news folks. The worst tragedy of our times. Jack has been blown to smithereens. Terrible, terrible news. [back to "normal" town] Cop [in car] Attention, attention citizens. Terrible news. There's still no sign of Santa Claus. Although the impostor has been sht down, it looks like Xmas will have to be canceled this year. I repeat the impostor has been sht down but there's still no sign ...... [Jack in cemetery] Poor Jack Performed by Danny Elfman What have I done? What have I done? How could I be so blind? All is lost, where was I? Spoiled all, spoiled all Everything's gone all wrong What have I done? What have I done? Find a deep cave to hide in In a million years they'll find me Only dust and a plaque That reads, 'Here Lies Poor Old Jack" But I never intended all this madness, never And nobody really understood, well how could they? That all I ever wanted was to bring them something great Why does nothing ever turn out like it should? Well, what the heck, I went and did my best And, by god, I really tasted something swell And for a moment, why, I even touched the sky And at least I left some stories they can tell, I did And for the first time since I don't remember when I felt just like my old bony self again And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King That's right! I am the Pumpkin King, ha, ha, ha, ha And I just can't wait until next Halloween 'Cause I've got some new ideas that will really make them scream And, by God, I'm really going to give it all my might Uh oh, I hope there's still time to set things right Sandy Claws, hmm [Oogie lair] Sally: You wait till Jack: hears about this. By the time he's through with you, you'll be lucky if you... Mayor: The king of Halloween has been blown to smithereens. Skeleton Jack: is now a pile of dust. Sally: [gasp] Jack: Come on Zero. Xmas isn't over yet! Oogie Boogie:What's that you were saying about luck, rag doll? Sally: Help, help, help, help Oogie Boogie:Sandy, looks like it's Oogie's turn to boogie. Sally: [scream] Oogie Boogie:one 2 3 4 5 6 7 -- hahaha Sandy Claws:This can't be happening! Oogie Boogie:Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust. Oh, I'm feeling weak...with hunger. One more roll of the dice oughta do it. Haha [rolls dice] What! Snake eyes. [bang on table] Eleven! Haha looks like I won the jackpot! Bye bye doll face and sandman. Ha, ha, ha [about to dump Sally & Sandy Claus into the lava] What the... Jack: Hello Oogie Oogie Boogie:Jack, but they said you were dad. You must be double dad. Well come on bone man. Zero: bark bark Oogie Boogie:oooo ooo ooo. Pull an arm. ha ha Sally: Jack look out! Oogie Boogie:So long, Jack. haha Jack: How dare you treat my friends so shamefully. [Jack pulls the thread that came loose that held Oogie together] Oogie Boogie:Now look what you've done. My bugs, my bugs, my bugs, bye bye bye Jack: Forgive me Mr. claws, I'm afraid I've made a terrible mess of your holiday. Sandy Claws:Bumpy sleigh ride, Jack? The next time you get the urge to take over someone else's holiday, I'd listen to her! She's the only one who makes any sense around this insane asylum! Skeletons.... Jack: I hope there's still time-- Sandy Claws:To fix Xmas? Of course there is, I'm Santa Claus! [and laying a finger aside of his nose, up Oogie's chimney he rose] Sally: He'll fix things Jack. He knows what to do. Jack: How did you get down here Sally? Sally: Oh, I was trying to, well, I wanted to, to -- Jack: to help me Sally: I couldn't just let you just... Jack: Sally, I can't believe I never realized...that you... Mayor: Jack, Jack! Barrel:Here he is! Lock: Alive! Shock:Just like we said. Mayor: Grab a hold my boy! Jack & Sally: whoa! Newscaster: Good news, folks. Santa Claus, the one and only has finally been spotted. Old Saint Nick appears to be traveling at supersonic speed. He's setting things right, bringing joy and cheer wherever he goes. Yes folks, Kris Kringle has pulled it out of the bag and delivered Xmas to excited children all over the world! Finale Performed by Danny Elfman, Catherine O'Hara, and the Citizens of Halloween Chorus: La, la, la, (etc.) Jack's OK, and he's back, OK Child Corpse and Chorus: He's all right Mayor: AND CHORUS Let's shout, make a fuss Scream it out, wheee Chorus: Jack is back now, everyone sing In our town of Halloween Jack: It's great to be home! Sandy Claws:Hohohohoho Happy Halloween! [Sandy Claws brings snow to Halloween] Jack: Merry Xmas! Child Corpse: What's this? Cyclops: What's this? Harlequin Demon: I haven't got a clue Mr. Hyde: What's this? Clown:Why it's completely new Off-Screen Voice: What's this? Wolfman: Must be a Christmas thing Off-Screen Voice: What's this? Mayor: It's really very strange Chorus: This is Halloween Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! What's this? What's this? (Repeat) Dr. Finkelstein: Careful, my precious jewel! [Dr. F. with his new wife!] Jack: My dearest friend, if you don't mind I'd like to join you by your side Where we can gaze into the stars Jack and Sally: And sit together, now and forever For it is plain as anyone can see We're simply meant to be [at the end of FINALE, Zero zooms off into the heavens] THE END!	{"type": "movie", "show": "Nightmare Before Christmas, The", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
(Interior Jailhouse) (A jail guard unlocks a cell block to call the inmates out for their lunch.) Guard: Lunch time. (The Inmates exit their cells and are talking to each other.) Guard: The longer you animals bark the colder your lunch gets. Come on, move it out!(Looks toward the last cell) You too down there. (Walks down the cellblock) Hey turkey... (Guard walks down to an open cell where one inmate has not emerged. He walks in and discovers that the inmate, Jake Fratelli, has apparently hung himself. There is a note on his chest reading, "To whom it may concern". The guard removes it, turns it over and reads the back.) Guard: "You schmuck. Do you really think I'd be stupid enough to kll myself?" (Repeats last two words to himself) kll myself? (Jake opens his eyes and grins, and knocks the guard unconscious. Jake untangles himself by removing a pipe from his belt which supported his weight.) (Outside Jailhouse) (Francis Fratelli, Jake's brother, is pouring a ring of gasoline around the front entrance, while their mother, Mama Fratelli, waits behind the wheel of their ORV.) Mama F: Come on! (Francis throws the empty gasoline can in the back of the ORV and then jumps into the passenger seat, loading a semi-atmatic pstol. Jake hurries down the front steps of the jailhouse in his street clothes.) Mama F: Here he comes. (Mama starts the car as Jake runs over to the right rear door. It's locked.) Jake: Francis, it's the lock. The lock, Francis. Francis: Let go of the handle. Jake: I don't have the handle. Open the lock! Mama F: Jake, up! (Gesturing to the open sunroof) Jake: No. Mama F: Come on. Move... Francis: It's open. Mama F: (To Francis) Get down! (To Jake) Come on! Jake: (Climbs head first down through the sunroof) Thanks Mama. (Francis now reaches down through the open passenger side window and fires the gn into the gasoline on the ground. A ring of fre flares up around the entrance, trapping the jail guards who have hastily emerged looking for Jake. Francis laughs victoriously. Mama Fratelli puts the car in gear and screeches away. A number of police cars quickly pursue them.) (High School Football Field) (A young girl loads a cassette tape into a player and starts it.) Andi: Okay you guys, let's try the victory pyramid. Okay so...alright... (She directs the girls as they assemble as the police chase whisks by, sirens blaring) Let's work on this next move. We can do it. Next row, come on, put your arms up, put your arms up... smile...good. (excitedly) You got it! (Street Corner) (The Fratellis race through a red light with several police cars hot on their tail. A Hispanic woman, Rosalita, nervously hurries across the street as cars whisk by on both sides of her.) (House: Kitchen) ("Mouth" is watching an unrelated police chase on a small television which is turned up too loud. His father, a plumber, is struggling to make some repairs under a counter.) Dad: Turn that TV off son, I can't hear myself think. Mouth: Yeah right, dad. (Mouth grudgently turns off the TV set, but the live Fratelli chase is passing the open window. He slaps the TV a couple times, puzzled as to where the sound is coming from.) Mouth: Huh? (He walks over to his dad and sits on the counter, looking into the sink.) Dad: The water going down son? Mouth: (Looks in the sink) Uh...no. Dad: Going down now? (Water gushes from the drain, completely drenching Mouth. He is unable to answer.) Dad: Sorry, kid. (The Docks) (Stefanie, known to her friends as Stef, is at the docks. The chase passes behind her while her head is immersed in a fishing barrel. She surfaces with a crab in hand and tosses it aside, oblivious to the commotion.) (An Alleyway) (Data is testing a new device of his that sht a small, suction-cupped harpoon from his belt buckle. It attaches itself securely to a steel drum across the alley. A thread spool in his belt buckle starts to reel it in. The drum starts to move towards him, much to his delight, but it is stopped by a chain attached to it. Data is drawn uncontrollably across the alley and falls head first into the drum. The police chase speeds by while he is in the drum.) (Stop 'n Snack) (Lawrence, whose friends refer to him as "Chunk" is at an arcade game near the front window. He is the only Goonie to have actually witnessed the police chase. He presses against the window, food in his right hand and milkshake in his left, to get the best possible look.) Chunk: Oh wow...a police chase!(The cars race by and some gn are fired.) With bllts!! (The condiments from his food smear all over the window and the milkshake bursts open.) Ah, shit! (The Beach) (The Fratellis arrive at the beach, temporarily away from their pursuers. Mama Fratelli laughs.) Jake: What the hell are we doing here? Mama F: Ah, trust in your old mother boys. Throw it into four wheel drive and hold onto your hats. (Francis throws the car into 4-wheel drive. The annual ORV beach rally is just starting and there are dozens of similar ORV's starting a race on the beach.) Announcer: Welcome to the third annual ORV rally. Are you ready to go?...Go! (Mama Fratelli lurches the ORV forward in the sand and merges with the rally. They are quickly lost in the crowd of other ORVs.) (Walsh Residence, Bedroom) Mikey: Oh, bummer. Nothing exciting ever happens around here anyway. Who needs the Goondocks? Who needs this house? I can't wait to get outta here. (Picks up a copy of MAD magazine and begins thumbing through) Brand: Really? Mikey: Nah, I was just trying to delate myself. No, no...y'know, um, uh, dic..dictate myself. Brand: That's delude yourself, dummy. Mikey: That's what I said. (He jumps onto Brand's chest, pushing the weights down on top of Brand.) Thanks, Brand. Brand: I know how you feel, wimp. I'm sure going to miss this place too. (Brand pushes up hard on the weights, lifting Mikey at the same time. A knock is heard at the front door. Brand and Mikey both lunge to get to the door first.) Brand: (Throwing Mikey aside) Adopted wuss. Mikey: Adopted wuss...I'm no adopted wuss. I'll kll you, Brand! (Living Room) (Brand peers around the corner and sees Mouth through the glass door. Mouth is there combing his hair.) Brand: Oh, it's Mouth. (Brand walks away from the door. He slouches in an armchair, stretching a spring-type chest exerciser. Mikey opens the screen door to let Mouth in. Mouth is carrying a Pepsi, and is wearing a concert shirt for Prince's Purple Rain.) Mouth: Hey, Meekey. Yo Mikey. Eh, Mikey, seen Adrian? Hey guys, what's going down? (Puts his foot on the coffee table). Brand: Get your foot off the table, Mouth. Mouth: You got it. What's going down guys? Hey, what's the matter with you guys? Come on? What's the matter? What is this, a nuclear Saturday or something? Come on, guys. This is our last weekend together, last "Goonie" weekend. We got to be goin' out in style, cruisin' the coast, sniffin' some lace, downin' some brews...but nooo. The one older brother had to go and screw it up, by flunking your driver's test? (Brand takes a swing at him) Don't know what to do with ya, kid. Chunk: (Outside) Hey guys, I just got the best...you're not gonna believe. (shouting) Hey you guys, you gotta let me in. (Mouth steps out onto the veranda. Chunk is at the gate trying to get in.) Mouth: Jerk alert! It's Chunk. Chunk: I'm not lyin'. I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life. Mouth: First you gotta do the Truffle Shuffle. Chunk: Come on... Mouth: Do it. Chunk: Come on... Mouth: (Insistent) Do it! (Chunk groans and then climbs up onto a tree stump near the gate. He rolls up the lower half of his shirt, makes a strange facial expression, and then shakes himself. The layers of fat on his chest and abdomen jiggle as he makes all sorts of silly sounds to accompany. Mouth giggles hysterically.) Mikey: Cut it out, Mouth. (Mikey pulls on a cord which raises a tin bucket, releasing a bowling ball. It rolls across the railing and falls into another bucket. A long and complex chain reaction occurs, ultimately turning on the sprinkler, the rotation of which pulls open the gate for Chunk.) Chunk: Oh guys, guys, thanks a lot. You guys, you're not going to believe me. This time I'm telling the truth. (Chunk steps up to the door, but Mouth closes the screen door just as he gets there.) Chunk: You turd! Brand: Feed the fish, Mikey. Mouth: You flunked your driver's test? Brand: Shut up, Mouth. Chunk: (He opens the screen door and comes in) Listen, okay. You guys will never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay. And they were chasing this four wheel deal, it was this real neat ORV, and there were bllts flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw! Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson came over to your house to use the bathroom? Brand: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fre, right? Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's Pizza, right? Chunk: Okay Brand, Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house, to use the bathroom. But his sister did! (A Balcony, next door) (Data loads a cassette into a Walkman on his belt. James Bond music starts. He has a tightwire strung from the top of his house to the roof overhang over the Walsh's veranda next door.) Data: Okay Data, don't mess this one up, and prepare for the Wings of Flight. (Data hangs from a wheel-type mechanism that allows him to "fly" over to Mikey's house in a 007 type manner. The others, looking out over the veranda, see his approach.) Mikey: Uh oh! Screen door! (To Mouth) Open the screen door! Data: Mikey! The screen door! (Data crash lands through the door into everybody in the living room; they all fall over. Chunk, at the back of the crowd, catches a tall porcelain statue that topples from an end table.) Mikey: Chunk! Chunk: Hey, I bet you guys thought I was going to drop it, huh? Ha ha. (Places the statue back on the end table). I knew you would think that from good old Chunk. (The statue falls as Chunk finishes his sentence. He hadn't steadied it to ensure its sab.) Mikey: Oh my God! Brand: You idiot! (Chunk picks it up, apparently in one piece.) Chunk: Look, it's not broken. It's perfect. Ha ha. (The statue is of a nude man. Mikey notices that the penis broke off.) Mikey: Oh my God. Chunk: What? Mikey: That's my mom's most favorite piece. Chunk: What? Mikey: (Worried) Ooooh. (Positions the broken piece) Chunk: Oh my God. Mouth: (like Groucho Marx) You wouldn't be here if it wasn't. Mikey: Shut up, Mouth. Brand: Shut up, Mouth. Data: (Changing the subject) Hey, any of you guys ever hear of Detroit? Mikey: No. Mouth: Soitenly. That's where Motown started. It's also got the highest mrder rate in the country. Data: Well let me tell you what. That's where we're moving when we lose our house tomorrow. Mikey: You shut up about that stuff. It'll never happen. My dad'll fix it. Brand: Yeah, sure he will. If he gets his next four hundred paychecks by tomorrow afternoon. Mikey: That's wrong Brand. It won't happen! (Mrs. Walsh arrives) Mikey: Oh...hi Mom! Brand: Hi Mom. Chunk: Hi, hi. Mrs. Walsh: I see Data dropped by. Data: Hi, Mrs. Walsh, how are you? Mouth: Hi Mrs. Walsh. Mrs. Walsh: (Introduces Rosalita) Boys, this is Rosalita. Rosalita's going to help us with the packing just until my arm is better. Mikey: Olé! Mouth: Hola! Mrs. Walsh: Uh, boys, Rosalita doesn't speak a word of English, and I know some of you have taken some Spanish in school... Mouth: (Interrupts) Well, Mrs. Walsh, I speak perfect Spanish. And if it's any help to you I'd be glad to communicate with Rosalita. Mrs. Walsh: You're a lifesaver Clarke. Come with us, will you? Mouth: (Innocently) Why certainly, Mrs. Walsh. (Mouth follows the two women out of the room, flashing a wicked grin to his friends.) Mrs. Walsh: Mikey, no more potato chips. I've told you... (To Brand) Hello Mikey honey... Brand: It's Brand, Ma. (Mikey and Chunk have been hiding the broken statue with their bodies.) Chunk: (His mouth full of food) Do you think your Mom's going to notice? Mikey: What?! Chunk: (His mouth still full) Do you think your Mom's going to notice...notice that the dick and balls are missing? Mikey: I wonder if she'll notice. Chunk: That's what I said! Mikey: Of course she'll notice. She notices everything. (Mrs. Walsh is now showing Rosalita a chest of drawers and relaying the following instructions to Mouth for a trustworthy interpretation.) Mrs. Walsh: Pants and shirts are in the second. Jus..just throw them all into cardboard boxes. Forget the suitcases. (To Mouth) Clarke, can you translate that? Mouth: Why certainly, Mrs. Walsh. Mrs. Walsh: (Whispering to herself, smiling and proud of Clarke) Oh, that's wonderful, simply wonderful. Mouth: (To Rosalita) Translation: Marijuana goes in the top drawer. Cocaine and Speed in the second, the Heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs. (Mouth walks away, managing to contain his laughter. Rosalita stares disbelievingly at the chest. The others are trying to take advantage of Mikey's mom's business with Rosalita to repair the statue.) Chunk: Look. How's that? How's that? (Chunk glued the penis on up-side-down.) Mikey: Oh you idiot. You glued it on up-side-down. Brand: You dork. If God made us do it that way you'd all be pissing in your faces. Chunk: Looks fine to me. (Mrs. Walsh, Mouth, and Rosalita approach the half-open attic stairs.) Mrs. Walsh: Now Rosalita, this is the attic. Mr. Walsh doesn't like anybody (tiptoeing to close the stairway with her free hand) up here, ever. (Sarcastically) I guess that's why it's always open. Mouth: (translation) Never go up there. It's filled with Mr. Walsh's Sexual trture Devices. (Mouth walks on; Rosalita stares at the attic in shock. She jumps when Mouth touches her left shoulder. Mrs. Walsh leads them on to her supply closet.) Mrs. Walsh: This is my supply closet. You'll find everything you need: brooms, dustpans, insect spray... (Emphasizing) I would really like the house clean when they tear it down. Clarke, can you translate? Mouth: (translation) If you do a bad job you'll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food or water. Mrs. Walsh: Okay, Rosie? (Kindly, smiling) Okay? You're going to be very happy here. (To Mouth) Come on Clarke, we've got much more to do. You're so fluent in languages. Rosalita: (to herself) (translation) I am in a crazy house. (Mrs. Walsh is done instructing Rosalita and is coming downstairs with Mouth, praising him on his remarkable skills as an interpreter.) Mrs. Walsh: You are so fluent in Spanish. That was so nice of you. Mouth: "Nice" is my middle name, Mrs. Walsh. Mrs. Walsh: (To all) Boys, I'm taking Rosalita to the supermarket. Now listen... Data: Hi, Mrs. Walsh. Mrs. Walsh: ...I'm going to be back in about an hour. Mikey, I want you kept inside. Brand, if he's coming down with asthma I don't want him out in the rain. Brand: He should be put in a plastic bubble. Mrs. Walsh: I'm serious Brandon. That's not funny. He takes one step outside and you are in deep, absolutely the deepest... (Stammers for a word) Brand: "Shit", Ma. Mrs. Walsh: I don't like that language, but that's exactly what you're going to be in. (To Data) And you, Dotta... Data: Data. Mrs. Walsh: ...Data, use the back door from now on, okay? Data: (Disappointed) Alright. Mrs. Walsh: (Points in the statue's direction) What is that? Chunk: Ah shit. What? Mrs. Walsh: What is that?! (Still pointing, but at the broken potato chips on the floor in front of the statue) That is a mess! I want it cleaned up boys. Chunk: (Relieved) Oh yeah, sure. Mouth: You got it. Mrs. Walsh: One hour, kids, and I'll be back. Bye baby. (Kisses Mikey) Rosie? Mouth: Bye, Mrs. Walsh. Chunk: Bye. Brand: Bye Mom. Mouth: (Wickedly) Adios, Señorita! (Mrs. Walsh and Rosilita leave) (cont.)Brand: (To Mikey) You want a breathing problem? (Pulls Mikey in the chair with him) You've got one. Mouth: Hey guys...(To Mikey) what's your dad going to do with all that stuff that's in the attic? Mikey: He's going to give it back to the museum, or whoever they pick to be the new assistant curly, or kerney... Brand: Curator. Mikey: That's what I said. Mouth: Hey, wait a minute guys. Maybe there's some stuff up there for us. Maybe there's some stuff that we can keep from the oldsiders. Maybe there's some rich stuff. Mikey: No, no, you guys. Chunk: Food! Lots of food. (Everybody's talking at once as they all run for the attic. Mikey is objecting.) Mikey: That's my dad's responsibility, you guys. The museum's probably got a list of it somewhere. You guys listen to me, damn it. That's his stuff. (They open the attic stairs and everybody climbs up.) (Attic) Brand: Hey, look at this. I didn't know Dad had all this stuff up here. Chunk: Ah, great. Look at that. Neato. Mouth: Love it. Isn't this great? I like this stuff! Mikey: Hey, come on guys. This is my dad's place. He doesn't want you up here. You heard what my mom said to the housekeeper about not wanting anybody up here... Mouth: (Placing his arm around Mikey's shoulders) Mikey, I cannot believe that you actually have something this cool in your house. Mikey: You guys, my mom said...you guys, stop, put down the outfit, okay? Chunk: Hey Mikey, this is great. We only have old Hanukkah decorations in our attic. Mikey: I don't care what you have in your attic. (Thunder outside. It's quite loud in the attic.) Mikey: (Takes a puff on his aspirator) Okay guys, you saw it. Now let's get out of here, okay? Data: Come on, Mikey, let's stay a little. Brand: Scared, Mikey? Chunk: (Pretending to be a pirate and brandishing a sword) I gotcha right were I want ya. Mikey: Ouch. Come on guys, it's dusty in here, my hayfever's acting up, and you always break something. Mouth: Meekey... Mikey: What? (Mouth has found a sensuous painting of a woman. He poked a hole through the canvas where her mouth is and is now behind the canvas talking through the hole.) Mouth: (In a silly, falsetto voice) Meekey, come here and make me feel like a woman. Come on, give me a nice, wet lickery kiss. (Mouth now sticks his tongue through the hole and wiggles it.) Brand: (In background, to Data) Yeah, what is it? Data, look at this. Data: That's neat. (Mikey snatches the painting away from Mouth.) Mikey: Gotcha! Now get out from behind there. You're ruining the painting... Mouth: You're ruining my joke! The painting's already trash. Mikey: Man, you're messing this up. Mouth: Who cares? Mikey: I told you not to touch it. Get off it, alright? (Brand, uninvolved, is fascinated by an old book about pirates.) Chunk: Hey, Mikey? Mikey? Mikey: What? Chunk: What is all this neat stuff? Mikey: The museum did some kind of... They did a show. It was a retropakum, and it was a... Brand: Retrospective. Mikey: That's what I said. You always contradict me. I was right. I knew what...it was about the history of Astoria, and, these are the rejects. Chunk: Kind of like us, Mike, the Goonies. (In the background, Data and Brand are looking at an old lightening ball.) Brand: How did you turn that on?...Turn it off... Mikey: (To Chunk) Yeah. Mouth: I'm not a reject. Mikey: Take that stuff off. You're going to get me in trouble. (Data is still fascinated with the lightening ball.) Data: (To Brand) You know, you know how this works? Watch, if you put one finger there... Chunk: Neat. Laser beams! (Makes blaster sounds) Mikey: Mouth, when you drop something, put it back up. (Mikey finds a dusty old picture frame on the floor facing the wall.) Mikey: What's this? (Pulls out the picture) Hey, wait a sec. (He wants to see what's behind the dusty glass, but he needs to make it look like an accident.) Chunk... Chunk: I didn't touch it. Mikey: I know you didn't touch it. Get over here. (Chunk comes over) Data: Don't touch it, Chunk. (Chunk squats beside Mikey. Mikey reflects for a moment, holding the frame, knowing that once he hands it over to Chunk its fate is inevitable.) Mikey: Uh, hold this. (Hands the frame to Chunk) Chunk: (Takes it) Why me, Mike? Mike, Mike, thanks for taking us up here...there's a real big ball, you know... Mikey: (To himself, anticipating the shatter) Five...four...three...two...one. Chunk: ...and it's got this big thing... (Right on schedule Chunk clumsily drops the frame and the glass shatters. Mikey immediately empties off the broken glass and pulls out the map, revealing a doubloon behind it.) Mikey: What are you doing? Chunk: Hey, Mike found a map. Brand: Is that a map? Mikey: Yeah. Chunk: (Pointing at the map) Look, look, look. That says 1632. Brand: (Mumbling) I've seen this before. Chunk: Is that a year or something? Mouth: No, it's your top score on Pole Position. Mikey: Yes, it's a year, Chunk. Look Data, it's a map of our coastline. Brand: What's all that Spanish junk right there? Mikey: Uh... (Looks around) Mikey: Who speaks Spanish? Mouth, Mouth, you said you could translate. Translate, right here. (Points to some Spanish text) Chunk: Yeah, translate it. Mouth: (Translating) Ye intruders beware. Crushing death and grief, soaked with blood, of the trespassing thief. Brand: You guys, this map is old news. Everybody and their Grandfather went looking for that, when our parents were our age. I mean, I mean, haven't you ever heard of that guy, what's his name, uh, the pirate guy, One-eyed Willy? Mikey: (whispering) Oh yeahOne-eyed Willy... (Out loud) One-eyed Willy, yeah, he was the most famous pirate in his time. My dad told me all about him once. Brand: Dad'll do anything to get you to go to sleep. Mouth: (laughs) Mikey: No, see, One-eyed Willy stole a treasure once. It was full of rubies, and emeralds, and... Chunk: Diamonds? Mikey: ...diamonds. Then he loaded it all up on to his ship and they sailed away into the sunset. Until the British King, see, he found out about it and then he set up this whole armada to go out after him, then the armada, they...it took em a couple weeks, but then they caught up with Willy, and, and, then there was a whole, big wr between the armada and Willy's ship, the Inferno, and during the firefight there was these gn bursting here and cannons bursting there, and then Willy fled, 'cause he didn't want to stay around, 'cause he knew he'd get klled if he stayed around. And then he got into this cave, and the British, they blew up the walls all around him, and he got caved in, and he's been there ever since. Data: Forever? Mikey: Forever. Chunk: And ever? Mikey: Trapped. Chunk: Wow! Brand: You sound just as corny as Dad does. Mikey: My Dad tells me the truth. You know what he said? Data: What? Mikey: He told me that One-eyed Willy and his bunch were down there for five, six years. And they were digging all these tunnels, and caves...setting boody traps... Data: Booby traps. Mikey: That's what I said. Setting booby traps, so that anybody who tried to get in there would die. And then do you know what he did? He klled all of his men. Data: Why? Chunk: Why'd he kll all of them? Mikey: Because he didn't want them to get to his treasure. Chunk: Yeah, wait a minute, Mikey. But if he klled all his men, how did the map or the story get out? Mikey: See, I asked my dad the same question. He said one of the guys must have gotten out with the map, and, and the... Chunk: Hey Mike, I believe ya. Mouth: Yeah, well I don't believe ya. I don't believe ya at all. I think you're full of it. I think... Data: I believe him. Mikey: Your dad told me... (Chunk finds another frame, this one containing an old newspaper page.) Brand: Chunk? What'd you break this time Chunk? Chunk: Hey, you guys, look at this. Hey, you guys ever heard of this guy? Look, Chester Copperpot? Data: (Reading) Chester Copperpot? Chunk: Okay it says, "Chester Copperpot: Missing while in pursuit of local legend. Reclusive scavenger claims, 'I have the key to One-eyed Willy'." Mikey: Whoa, do you guys realize what we could do? Brand: Nobody ever found nothing, you guys. I mean, why do you think this map would be up here in this attic when it could be in some safety deposit box somewhere, right? Mouth: That's right. And anyway, if Chester Copperpot didn't find it, how would we find it? Mikey: But, what if? You guys, just what if this map could lead to One-eyed Willy's rich stuff? Data: Maybe. Mikey: Then we wouldn't have to leave the Goondocks. Come on. Data: I don't wanna leave. Chunk: I don't wanna go on any more of your crazy Goonie adventures. (Doorbell buzzer sounds in the attic.) Chunk: Ding dong. (Everybody heads for the stairs.) Mikey: Guys, come on. Where are you going? You don't wanna do this? (Picks up the map, flips the doubloon and catches it) Sixteen thirty-two. (Front Porch) (Mr. Perkins, Troy's father, has arrived with some paperwork.) Mouth: Senior Jerk alert. Brand: Can I help you? Perkins: Hello, little guys. I'm Mr. Perkins, Troy's father. Data: We know who Troy is. He's such a cheap guy. Brand: (Motions Data to stop talking) Shut up. (To Perkins) My Dad's not home, Mr. Perkins. Perkins: Is your mommy here? Brand: No sir, actually she's down at the market buying Pampers for all us kids. Perkins: (Laughs slightly, with Bill) Papers, Bill. (Hands them to Brand) You can give these papers your father to, uh, read through, and sign. (Brand steps down from the porch into the rain and collects the papers.) Perkins: We'll be by to pick them up in the morning. Brand: Thank you. Perkins: Thank you. (Brand returns to the others standing on the porch.) Mikey: Brand, what is all that stuff? Brand: It's Dad's business. Mikey: But what is it? Brand: (Annoyed) I told you, it was Dad's business. (Brand, Mikey, and the others watch Perkins and Bill return to their car.) Brand: Look at 'em smiling. Data: They can't wait until tomorrow when they foreclose on all the...whatever you call it. Mouth: Trash the Goondocks. Brand: When they wreck our house I hope they make it a sandtrap. Mikey: And never get their balls out! Chunk: (Going back into the house) You know, I think they made me lose my appetite. (Everyone goes inside except for Mikey. Brand comes out of the side door and Mikey rushes to him. They hug.) Brand: Mikey? Come on, before you catch a real cold. (Drags a limp and depressed Mikey back into the house) Bill: (To Perkins) You seem to be pretty sure of yourself. Perkins: The foreclosure is a definite. (The Kitchen) (Chunk is rummaging through the refrigerator. He pulls out a can of whipped cream.) Chunk: Oh God, am I depressed. (Tilts his head back and squirts whipped cream into his mouth) Mikey: If I found One-eyed Willy's rich stuff I'd pay all my Dad's bills. Then maybe he could get to sleep at night, instead of sitting up trying to figure out a way for all of us to stay here. Data: Yeah, me too. Mouth: Me three. Chunk: Me four. Brand: Forget about any adventures, limp-lungs. I let you out and Mom'll ground my ass and I've got a date with Andi on Friday, alright? Mouth: You're dreaming dude. There's no way, 'cause that means her mom's gotta drive. Then you gotta make it with her and her mom. Brand: Shut up, Mouth. Mikey: Shut up, Mouth. Mouth: Shut up, Data. (Mouth is sitting on the counter with his butt hanging over the edge of the sink. Brand turns on the faucet, soaking Mouth's pants.) Mikey: Guys, what are we going to do about that Country Club? It's klling our parents. If we don't do something now there's going to be a golf course right where we're standing. (More thunder outside, but the storm is almost over.) (The Living Room) (Brand is in his chair, stretching his chest exerciser. Mikey, Mouth, Chunk, and Data are playing marbles in front of the TV. A music video of Cyndi Lauper, singing the Goonies' theme song, is playing. The boys all have a little huddle, agree on something and then all walk towards Brand.) Data: Hey Brand, how far can you stretch that? Brand: It's not that hard. (Stretches it the full reach of his arms) (Chunk pins Brand by jumping on his lap.) Data: Go guys. Brand: Get off me, Chunk. Get off. Get off me. Chunk: I got you. I got you. (Mikey, Mouth, and Data pull his arms behind the chair and entangle the springs. Brand is helpless and trapped. The four Goonies race out the door. Mouth deflates the tires on Brand's new bike.) Mikey: What are you doing? It took him 376 lawnmower jobs to pay for that. It's his most favorite thing in the world. Mouth: Now it's his most flattest thing in the world. Let's go! Brand: (Still trapped in the chair, struggling, and yelling at Mikey) I'm going to ht you so hard when you wake up your clothes are going to be out of style. Hey! Mikey! (The boys ride off.) (Later) (Mrs. Walsh returns home with Rosalita. Brand's chair has now toppled over backwards and Brand is lying on his back.) Brand: Oh, Ma. Mom, you gotta let me out of here. Ma. Mom... (Rosalita enters and drops a bag of groceries.) Mrs. Walsh: Can't you learn how to exercise like a normal kid? Brand: But Ma... Mrs. Walsh: Look at you. You're hyper-ventrilocating here. Where's your brother? Brand: (Desperate, she never helped him) Mom! God, what's wrong with you people? Rosalita, come here. Wait, you gotta let me outta here. Rosalita? Rosalita: (Laughs, and says something to him in Spanish. She isn't able to help because she is trying to the spilled groceries into the house.) Brand: Rosalita, wait. Come here. Come here. Come here. You gotta let me outta here. Rosa...wait... (She leaves the room.) (Brand has finally freed himself. He dashes out of the house to find Mikey. His mom calls out after him.) Mrs. Walsh: Brandon, don't you come home without your brother, or I'll commit hare...Hare Krishna! Brand: That's "Hara-Kari," Ma. Mrs. Walsh: That's exactly what I said. Brand: (Starting on his bike and discovering the flat tires) What? My new tires! They popped my new tires, (Dashes his bike to the ground in anger) those son-of-a...I'm gonna...(He sees Data's little sister riding around on her tiny bike. He goes over and lifts her off if it.) Sorry. Little Sister: (Screams as she is lifted off her bike) My bike! My bike! Brand: (Gets on her tiny bike and starts riding) I owe you one. Little Sister: (Stamps her feet) I want my bike. I want my bike. (Main Street) (Mr. Walsh is working at the museum. He's trying to hang up the flag for the day as the boys ride by on their bikes.) Data: Hi Mr. Walsh. Mr. Walsh: Uh huh. Mouth: Hi Mr. Walsh. Mr. Walsh: Hi Mikey. Mikey: Hi Dad. Chunk: (Trailing) Hey guys, wait for me. (Late afternoon. The four boys have been out hunting for the three rock pattern described on the map) Mikey: That's where we're going. Right around this next curve is Gold Rock Beach. Three rocks, I know it. I've got a feeling about this one. Data: You always have a feeling, Mikey. Every time you have a feeling you get us in trouble. Mikey: Get us in trouble? You're the one who always gets us in trouble, Double-oh Negative. Data: I'm James Bond - 007, not Double-oh Negative. Chunk: You guys, I'm hungry. I know when my stomach growls there's trouble. Others: Shut up, Chunk! Chunk: (Labouriously climbing a hill on his bike) Hey, you make me go up this big hill, and you said, you said you'd give me a Twinkie. Now I'm gonna be late for dinner and my mom's gonna yell at me. And she's not gonna let me eat my dinner and she's gonna punish me. Ah, you guys, ah. Anybody got a candybar? Baby Ruth? (Backroad) (Brand, in his grey sweatshirt, hood up, and bandana, is riding the little pink bicycle.Along comes Troy, driving his red Mustang. Andi is in the passenger's seat and Stef is in the back. Troy grins as he adjusts the rear view mirror to peek at Andi's mini-skirt. She is offended by his actions.) Andi: Troy! You touch that mirror again and I swear to God I'm going to smack you in the face. Stef: (Laughing at Andi's reaction) Troy: (Snickering) Stef: Hey, there's Brand. Troy: Oh, like the bike. Andi: What is he doing? (Troy honks at Brand) Stef: (Laughing) No wonder he can't get a license. Brand: (Looks back, sees Troy, and mutters to himself) Oh, no. Andi: Brand, can we give you a ride somewhere? Troy: (Surprised, turns to Andi) Huh? Brand: (Out of breath) No. Thanks anyway, though. Troy: (Trying to further belittle him) Yeah Walsh, (Grabs his right hand, holding his wrist firmly against the car door) let us give you a little ride. Brand: Hey! Troy: Hold on. Here we go. (Troy starts driving quite fast with Brand in tow.) Brand: Hey! Let go of my hand! Troy! (Andi and Stef are fighting with Troy to stop. Troy holds fast to Brand's wrist and Brand has all he can do to keep control of the bike.) Stef: Troy, you're gonna kll him! Brand: Oh, no! Oh, no! (As Troy goes even faster the training wheels break off the bike. Sees a turn in the road and the approaching woods) Oh my God! (Troy follows the right hand bend in the road at about 45 MPH and releases Brand's hand at that moment.) Troy: So long, sucker! (Brand cannot stop in time. He goes off the road and flies over an embankment into the woods.) Brand: Ahhh!!!! (Lighthouse Lounge) Mikey and the others are carrying their bikes, struggling up a steep hill by the sea. Mouth: Forget it. Chunk: Come on. This better be it, Mikey. Mikey: Shut up, Chunk. (Mikey pulls out the doubloon and verifies another critical alignment.) Mikey: Guys...I think I have a match. I'm sure of it! The lighthouse, the rock, and the restaurant all fit the doubloon. That must mean that the rich stuff is near the restaurant. So, (pulls the map out of his shirt), wait a second, Mouth, I'm going to need you to translate the map because I don't understand Spanish. (Pointing) Right here. Mouth: (Looking at the map) Alright, alright, alright. (Reading) (spanish) Mikey: What does that mean? Mouth: Ten times ten. Mikey: Uh, hundred. Data: Hundred. Mouth: (Translating) ...stretching feet to nearest northern point. Mikey: North. What's north? Which way is north? Mouth: That's where you'll find the treat. Mikey: The treat...the rich stuff! The treat! The rich stuff. That's it! Data: (Checks his compass and points) North is that way. Mikey: So, it's near the restaurant. (Mikey and Data start counting paces toward the restaurant. After sixty paces they huddle behind some rocks out of sight. They notice two people in trenchcoats who are walking inside.) Mouth: Wait a minute, guys. There's somebody there. Mikey: Sixty and another forty is an even one hundred, right to the old restaurant. The rich stuff has gotta be there. Chunk: (Nervous and shaking his head) I don't know about it Mikey. Hey, it's gettin' late, and hey, that's a summer place. What's it doing open in the fall? Data: See, there's nothing to be scared of. See, there's already two customers who went inside the restaurant. Chunk: Yeah, yeah, but what if they're not customers? What if they're drug dealers? Data: Drug dealers? Shit man. (Hits Chunk) Did you see their clothes? Drug dealers wouldn't be caught dad in those polyester rags. (The Goonies continue pacing toward the restaurant. Two gn are heard from inside the restaurant.) Chunk: (Running over and out of breath) Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. That sounded like gn. Not the big ones that you hear in wr movies, but gn, real ones. They're trying to kll us! Mikey: Geez Chunk. Turn off your brain, alright? Someone probably dropped a pot. Data: Yeah. Mouth: Yeah, just dropped a pot. Chunk: Ah, ah, are you sure, Mikey? Because if you're sure I'm sure, you know. They might pick up the pots, and they might try to kll us. They're gonna kll us! In fact... (The others run towards the restaurant. Chunk continues whining. Mikey runs over to silence him.) Mikey: (Whispering tensely) Chunk...shut up! (Chunk finds a soda cooler outside in the front of the restaurant.) Chunk: Soda pop! Oh boy, am I thirsty. (Opens the cooler but finds it empty) Damn it! (Slams the lid) Mouth: (Peering through the window) What's that? Mama F: (To Jake and Francis) Come on. Hurry up, hurry up...Francis... (Jake is dragging the body of one of the FBI men into the kitchen. The boys look in through the dirty windows. They can see movement, but they can't tell exactly what it is.) Mikey: (Takes a puff on his aspirator) Data: Looks like the cook is carrying something to the kitchen, or something. Mikey: Yeah, food. Looks like food or some kind of trash. Data: Don't let them see us, guys. (Chunk wanders around to the side and see the ORV parked in a garage. He sees bllet holes in the back and then realizes with fright that he has seen this vehicle before.) Chunk: ORV...bllet holes...bllet holes! (Chunk runs, panicking back to the doorway to warn the others, but they've opened the door and gone inside. The restaurant looks trashed. It needs a serious make-over.) Data: Shhh!!! Mikey: Shut up, Chunk! Mouth: This place is a summer restaurant? Looks like it hasn't been open for ten summers. (Mama F. walks up behind them) Mama F: How long you boys been at that window? (Boys, startled, turn around to face her) Mouth: Long enough to see you need about four hundred roach motels in this place. (Jake comes out of the kitchen) Jake: How the hell am I supposed to create with that Smithsonian piece of shi..? (Notices the boys and comes over to talk to his mother in Italian) Jake: (Italian) Mama F: (Blocking the doorway) Jake, these boys are customers. Jake: (Italian. Maybe "Mama this isn't a restaurant.") Mama F: (Italian. Maybe "Shut up and do what I tell you to do, stupid.") Jake: (Italian. Probably "Sorry mama.") Eh, boys, uh? You make yourselves comfortable, uh? (speaks to Mama in Italian, then addresses the boys in English) She's going to cook you something. Mama F: (in an irritated voice) What do you want? (They are startled. They jump around to face her, gasping.) Data: A glass of water. Chunk: Water, water. Mama F: (To Jake) Four waters. (To the boys) Is that all? Mikey: Yeah. Data: Yes, yes. Mouth: (Acting like he's in a fine Italian restaurant) No! I want the Veal Scallopine... (The other three wish that Mouth would shut up. They are jumping with anxiety, afraid to talk, and trying desperately to make him shut his big mouth by mime-zipping their mouths shut and turning the key.) Mikey: (whisper) Mouth...shut up! (Mouth ignores them and continues.) Mouth: ...I want the Fettucini Alfredo...a bottle of Fettucini, a 1981. (Kisses his thumb and forefinger like a gourmet chef.) (Mama Fratelli grabs him and holds him fast in a headlock, forcing his mouth open by pinching his cheeks.) Mama F: The only thing we serve is tongue. (She pops open a switchblade in her other hand and forces Mouth's tongue out of his mouth. The other three boys all cover their mouths in terror.) Mama F: You boys like tongue? Ha ha ha ha, a ha ha ha. (Closes the switchblade and releases Mouth) That all? Sit down! (In panic, they hurriedly yank out the chairs from the table and sit down as Mama Fratelli goes into the kitchen. Chunk falls over.) Data: You alright, Chunk? Hey guys... Chunk: (Trying to tell what he knows) I know...I know... Data: What happened to the two guys in the polyester suits that came before us? What happened to them? Chunk: I know. Mikey: What, what is it? Spit it out. Chunk: (You guys, if we don't get out of here soon, there's gonna be Some kind of (the other three "shhh" him to make him lower his voice)...(scared) hostage crisis. Out in the garage, O..ORV, four wheel drive, bllet holes the size of... (panicking) Matzah Balls! Mouth: Chunk, I'm starting to O.D. on all your bullshit stories. Data: Yeah. Mikey & Data: Shut up. (Mama Fratelli returns with four glasses of pale pinkish liquid. It's water, but probably rusty from old pipes or sitting in a dirty tnk for several years.) Mama F: (Scowling) There's your water! Data: Thank you, Sir, uh, Ma'am. Mikey: Thank you, Sir...(She looks at Mikey, who recoils) Oh, I mean, Ma'am. Mouth: (Holding his glass up to the light) This' supposed to be water? Mama F: It's wet, ain't it? (Angry) Drink it! (Mikey begins to act like he has to go to the bathroom to get away from her and check out the rest of the restaurant.) Mikey: Miss, where's the men's room, please? Mama F: Can't you hold it? Mikey: No. (Chunk doesn't think that's such a good idea, and tries to dissuade him.) Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you wanna go to the bathroom in it. Mama F: (Faces Chunk) Why not? Chunk: (Nervously, he has to give her an answer) Because, they might have daddy long legs in 'em... (Sees Francis carrying the "trash" through the window. Moves in close to Mikey) ...or dad things Mikey! dad things. (Mouth is trying to coax Mikey's bladder by pouring the dirty water alternately between two glasses.) Mouth: (In a deeper voice, while pouring) Eh, Mikey...got to go to the bathroom? Chunk: kller dad things...big...mean... Mikey: Lady, please! Mama F: (Impatient, so she gives in) Downstairs, first door on the right. Mikey: Thank you. (Gets up and heads for the stairs) Chunk: Mikey, come on... Mama F: Stay to the right! Mikey: Yes Ma'am. Chunk: (Pleading) Please Mikey, dad things! Mama F: (Shouts as Mikey reaches the stairs) Stay to the right! Mikey: I know, "Stay to the right." Thank you. (The Basement) (Mikey pulls out the map and unrolls it as he walks down the steps into the basement. He hits his head on a hanging light bulb as he reaches the bottom of the stairs. It's very dark and damp.) Mikey: I know you're down here, One-eyed Willy. You gotta be down here. I can feel it, One-eyed Willy. I know you're down here. (He passes the washroom; it smells) Oh man, that stinks! (Hears a roar, like that of a lion) What the hell was that? (Mikey looks around and sees a slightly open door. Jake is singing to a creature chained to the wall. The creature roars again and interrupts Jake's singing.) Jake: (Hits the creature, Mikey winces at the cruelty) You're ruinin' it. You're ruinin' it. See the feast I made ya? (Points to a dinner plate on the floor) Look at the feast I made ya. You wanna eat it? (Throws a piece of food at the creature) Here, have some. (Mikey glances at the dinner plate. Jake continues pelting food scraps at the poor creature's face. ) Jake: Come on. Go ahead, you'll get something. (Turns to leave the room) You don't leave me any choice. (As Jake is leaving, Mikey flattens himself against the wall hoping Jake won't see him.) Jake: (Now at the door, looking back) You don't leave me any choice! (Closes the door) You're just like Mom and Francis. You never let me finish anything. (With the door closed Mikey is in plain site. But Jake is not really paying attention and doesn't see him.)Creature: (through the door) Please!!! Jake: (singing in Italian) (A mousetrap snaps on Mikey's behind. Mikey grits his teeth, clenches his eyes, and manages to keep quiet. Jake doesn't notice him; he disappears upstairs. Mikey relaxes and pulls the mousetrap off his pants. The creature cries some more in frustration, yanking at its chains.) Creature: Food! Ah! Ah! Hungry! Hungry! Food, please! (Mikey opens the door slightly to take a better look. He notices that the dinner plate is out of the creature's reach. Mikey picks up a nearby broom and uses the long handle to push the plate into the creature's reach. The creature hears the sound of the plate on the floor and turns around. The creature is, in fact, a large man, but with a grossly distorted face. He growls at Mikey who then drops the broom and backs up. The man picks up the dinner plate, now within his reach. He laughs hideously, in triumph as he hoists it up to his mouth. Mikey runs out of the basement, terrified. As he reaches the top of the stairs he is suddenly grabbed from behind, a hand clasped over his mouth. Mikey panics, trying to scream, but it is Brand, who has finally caught up with them.) Brand: Mikey, why can't you stay at home. Let's get out of here right now. Let's get out of here. (Brand hauls Mikey over to the door. The other three Goonies follow them out. Mama Fratelli chases them out.) Mama F: Get out of here! And stay out! (Slams the door) (To herself) Kids suck. (Outside the Restaurant) (The group is hiding just outside the restaurant where they hid when they first arrived. Mikey is trying to describe what he saw in the basement) Mikey: I swear on my life, they've got...an 'It', a giant 'It'. Mouth: Ooh. Mikey: They got it chained to the wall. Brand: Come on, Mikey. Mikey: When it came into the light it was all gross and distorted, (tries to imitate the face), and the parts were mixed around. (The others 'ooh' and 'aah' over Mikey's impression.) Brand: Like your brain, right Lamo? Say goodbye to your little pals. (Mama Fratelli comes out with Jake and Francis. They are carrying a large, bulky object in a black bag out to the ORV. Chunk sees them.) Chunk: Hey look! Look at that. Francis: Mom, why'd you have to sht the guy? Mama F: He's a fed. Francis: We could have taken him to the side of the road, in the car, and 'bing', we sht him, in the brain. Mama F: (Sternly) Just put it in the car. Jake: Bring him over here, Francis. Francis: Don't give me, "Over here..." Jake: Mama, give me over here... Francis: I'm the one who's always gotta... Jake: You gotta what? (The Goonies are watch them, trying to figure out what they are doing.) Data: You know, I'm wondering what is in the bag. Mikey: Ah, restaurant trash. Yeah. Data: You sure? Mikey: Positive. Data: That big? That much? Mikey: I'm positive. Yeah. Chunk: Look, there were bllet holes in the car, (gestures with this hand) this big. Mikey, Mikey, come on. Our parents are worried, it's dinnertime. Mouth: Yeah. Chunk: Why don't we go home? Mikey: Home? What home? In a couple more hours it ain't going to be home any more. Come on, guys, this is our time, our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. Chunk: (Reconsiders) We got to. (The Fratellis start the ORV and drive off. Mikey huddles the others down behind the rocks out of sight.) Mikey: Duck down guys. Get down. Get down. Duck down! Chunk: See, there are bllet holes in the back of that thing! Mouth is suddenly grabbed from behind and he jumps around. It's only Andi and Stef. All: Ah shit! Chunk: You scared me! (Stef is now enjoying a good laugh at the boys' expense.) Chunk: Almost gave me a heart attck. Stef: Hey Mouth, you look better from behind. Mouth: Hey, wanna see something really scary? (Shows Stef a pocket mirror) Look at that. Data & Chunk: That is so scary. Chunk: ...and ugly! Andi: (Talking to Brand) We followed you guys... Brand: You did? Andi: We were out driving with Troy... (notices a fresh scrape on Brand's face) Ooh, (she touches it) sorry about your face. Brand: Oh, don't worry about it. (Brushing the scrape with his wrist) I was born with it. Andi: (Laughs slightly) Brand: Just kiddin'. Andi: Anyway, he was being such a jerk, you know, tiltin' the mirror so he could look down my shirt? So I elbowed his lip. (Laughs) Brand: (surprised) You elbowed his lip? Andi: (Laughing more) Yeah. Stef: (Laughing) Yeah. (The other boys have gone back over to the front door of the restaurant. Mouth tries it but finds that it is locked.) Mouth: (Disappointed) It's locked. (Turns around) Chunk: Thank God! Mouth: Hey, wait a minute, Chunk. Chunk: What? Mouth: You know I got some naked pictures of your mom, taking a bath. Wanna buy 'em? Chunk: (Angry) What?! Mouth: Real cheap! Chunk: (Enraged) Aaah! (Chunk charges at Mouth, but Mouth steps out of the way and Chunk rams into the door instead. His weight knocks the door open. He falls facedown as he stumbles into the room, the other walk over and around him as he lies on the floor.) Mouth: Thanks, Chunk. Data: Thanks, Chunk. (Brand and the girls are still outside. Brand has to go into the restaurant to get Mikey.) Brand: You wait here one second, okay? (He turns back to the restaurant; the girls follow part way) I'll be right back. I'm gonna go get my brother, alright? Andi: You guys are gonna get in trouble. Brand: Just don't leave, alright? Stef: No way. (As soon as Brand is out of site the girls start walking away talking among themselves.) Andi: I'm not staying here. Stef: I'm not staying. (Inside Restaurant) (Mikey and the others are arguing about the map. Mikey is trying to take charge.) Mikey: (Commanding) Shut up! We've got to get to the lowest point of the floor. Brand: (Scaring the boys, making them jump) Lowest point nothing, Mikey! Let's go. Now! (Outside Restaurant) (Outside in the dimming light, Stef steps onto a rake. It springs up, a foot from her face. Some rotten old rags and a dad fish are stuck to the end. The girls scream with horror.) Stef: (Her hands spread out, screaming) Waaa! Andi: (Also screaming) Aaah! My God! (Andi and Stef face each other, screaming. They panic and bolt for the restaurant.) Stef: (Still screaming) Oh my God! Andi: (Still screaming too) Oh my God! (Inside Restaurant) (Mikey is arguing with Brand.) Mikey: (Firmly) No, Brand. (He turns) Brand: Mikey! (The girls race in, terrified and still screaming. Andi runs straight for Brand.) Mikey: Turn on the lights. Stef: (Looking around) Oh, my God. (Mouth turns a switch, but it is dirty and out of use. A light bulb explodes.) Andi: (Looking around and seeing the filthy restaurant for the first time) Oh my God. Stef: It was disgusting, you should have seen it. Andi: It jumped out from the bushes. It almost klled us, (Hand to her brow) I swear to God. Mikey: Come on, Brand, please? Data: Yeah. Mikey: What if we find something, huh? A couple more minutes isn't going to hurt. Brand: Come on, Mikey. We're going right now! Mikey: No. Chunk: Listen to your big brother. Andi: (While he is talking) Hey Brand, (takes his hand, he looks) give him a few minutes. (She smiles sweetly and pulls his hand up closer to her face. She looks up at him)...as long as you stay here, with me. Mouth: Wait. Mikey: Listen to her; she knows what she's talking about. Mouth: Yeah, she does. Chunk: Yeah. Data: Yeah, listen to her. Goonies: Let's go! (Mikey and the gng head for the basement stairs. Brand and the girls follow.) (The Basement) (They all descend the stairs to the basement, Mikey is in the lead. An echoing grunt is heard from the creature.) Goonies: (Frightened) Aaah! Stef: Chunk, I hope that was your stomach. Mikey: No. That's the "It". Chunk: Sounds like Kong. Mikey: Part of it's human. Wanna see it? (Another groan) Don't worry. It's chained to the wall. (they move toward the room the IT is in.)Shhh! (Another groan, and the rattling of chains) Mouth: (Scared) I don't wanna go, Mikey. I don't wanna go. I just... Mikey: Why not? It's chained to the wall. Mouth: I know it's chained to the wall, right? Mikey: Come on...you wanted to go, didn't ya. Mouth: Yeah, I wanted to go. I wanted to go... Mikey: So let's go. (Starts to open the door) (Brand and the girls are at the back of the group.) Andi: (To Brand) I don't want to see it. (Mikey opens the door. The IT shouts and the Goonies all freak out and make a run for it.Andi and Brand, about to kiss, are driven back into another room. Brand stumbles backward over a couch; Andi lands on top of him. The others fall like dominos into the room. Andi and Brand try to pick up where they left off, but they are not alone.) Chunk: Shame, shame. Data: We know your name. (The would-be couple, interrupted again, looks at them.) Mouth: (Hoarse laugh) Come on, Brand, slip her the tongue! Stef: That's disgusting. No, I can't even look. Oh...can't...oh...that's sick. That really is sick. Chunk: (While Stef is grossing out) Get me up, guys! Goonies: One..two..three. (They pull Chunk to his feet) Chunk: Thanks, guys. Mouth: You're welcome. Mikey: Can't you smell it, guys? One-eyed Willy really is down here. Data: That's great. You know, you guys? I'm gonna build one like this. Mikey: Alright, we're walking right above here. Chunk: (Finds a water cooler) Water! (Chunk positions his face under the spigot and opens the valve, but he has mis-aligned his mouth. Water gushes into his eye.) (Andi and Stef talk quietly to each other. Andi has an idea about something.) Andi: Okay, come on. We can do it. (Whacks Stef on the hip) Stef: Ow! Wait a minute. No... (Mikey is looking for the ideal spot to "dig" in the concrete floor.) Mikey: ...back, and the stairs go up, and right about here must have been where we said we got to get to the lowest spot. (While Chunk continues to drink from the water cooler, an obsessed Mikey, quickly grabs a large tool resting against the wall.) Mouth: What are you doing talking to yourself again, Mikey? (Gets ht with the tool as Mikey passes) Ow! Mikey: Sorry. Mouth: What the hell are you doing? (Mikey swings at the solid floor.) Mouth: Mikey, you're gonna lose your filling. Brand: Mikey, what are you doing? (Grabs the tool) You little... Mikey: Brand. Brand: Give me that. There's nothing buried under there. Mikey: There is something buried under there, Josh. (A little goof on Sean's part. Brand is played by Josh Brolin. Sean accidentally let Brand's real name slip. No one caught it in the editing room.) Brand: This is the twentieth century, Mikey. (Throws the tool aside) Mikey: The map says there's something buried under there. There's gotta be. Brand: Come on, get off it. Mouth: Look it! I've got an idea. Why don't we just pour chocolate all over the floor, (grinning), and let Chunk eat his way through? (Chunk stops drinking the water and faces Mouth.) Chunk: Okay Mouth, (growing rage) that's all I can stand. (Raging) And I can't stand no more! (With a sudden movement, Chunk bumps the water bottle. It is now wobbling on the stand, about to fall. Chunk tries to grab it.) Chunk: I got it. I got it. I got it! (The stand tips over, smashing the glass water bottle on the hard floor.) Chunk: I don't got it. Others: You klutz. Chunk: (Smiling) Hope it's not a deposit bottle. Stef: This is ridiculous. It's crazy. I feel like I'm babysitting, except I'm not getting paid. Mikey: (Motions for silence) Wait. Listen to that. Mouth: What? (The spilled water is draining away somewhere.) Brand: So what? Mouth: Sounds like my grandfather taking a leak, Mikey. Grossout. Mikey: No. No, it's deep. Like there's a hole, or a passageway. It's real deep. Brand: (Coming over to take a look) Get out of the way. (Andi is daydreaming about Brand.) Andi: (To Stef) Brand is being so sweet to me. Stef: Oh, come on. Come on! Where are you? You're in the clouds and we are in a basement! (Brand's been looking around. He notices something about the fireplace. He prepares to pull away the grate for a closer look.) Mikey: (Ecstatic) I told you! Ha ha! Told you. I told you. (Brand grabs the grate) One..two..three... Brand: (Pulls away the grate and feels a slight updraft of air) You can feel the air. There's something down there. Mikey: See I told you there was something. Mouth: It might be a treasure or something. (Data is toying with another machine across the room, and to his surprise, it begins working.) Data: Hey, this is working, guys. (Brand kicks out the rotted boards. They crumble into the start of a tunnel.) Mikey: Brand, careful! Mouth: Are you okay? Brand: Yeah. Mikey: I told you there was a passageway. Mouth: It's the start of the tunnel. Mikey: Look. (The machine that Data found begins to print out pages of fifty dollar bills. Thinking they're real, Data becomes ecstatic.) Data: (Curious) Fifty dollar bills. (Puzzled) Fifty dollar bills. (Realizing) Fifty dollar bills. (Ecstatic) Fifty dollar bill!! Andi, Stef: (Looking at each other in bewilderment) Did he say "Fifty dollar bills?" Data: (Shouting with excitement) Fifty dollar bill!! Guys, there's hundreds of fifty dollar bill! We have the money to save the Goondocks! (Everybody now crowds around this printing press, excited. Data passes a sheet out to everybody.) Data: Billions of them. Mouth: Hey guys, they're real. Brand: Quiet! (Picks up one of the pages and realizes the truth) Data: What? What? What? Brand: They're fake. They're bogus. Data: No it's not. Brand: They're phony. (Crumples the worthless page) They're phony bills. Data: No, it's not. Mikey: I knew these people were from the ozone. Data: No. Andi: You get twenty-five years for counterfeiting. Goonies: (Disappointed) Oooh! (Stef notices a recent front page from the Astoria Ledger, she grabs it and reads it. The headline reads, "Fratellis at it Again" and has their three pictures beneath.) Stef: You guys, I recognize these people. Brand: Look at it. It's the Fratellis. Data: That's the guy from upstairs. Mikey: And the guy who tried to sing. Chunk: See, you guys, you never listen to me. I said that there was going to be trouble, but you didn't listen to me. You guys are crazy. You know, you guys are self-destructive. There's a funny farm and it has your names written all over it, but I'm gettin' outta here. Tha... (Stops cold, change of voice) I smell ice cream.(Chunk walks to a nearby walk-in freezer and opens the door. Inside are several containers of ice cream.)Chunk: (Happily reading the labels) They got Swensons! Oh look, they got "Pralines 'n Cream," and they got "Mississippi Mud," (excited) and they got "Chocolate Eruption!" and they got, "Apple," oh, and they got, "Grape"... They got Grape, and Super-Duper Chocolate Eruption, and... (notices the others, mouths hanging open, staring at something else in the freezer) Wha? Wha? (Turns and notices the dad body. He fills with fear.) Aaaah! (He backs out of the freezer trembling with terror. The others catch him as he practically stumbles out. The body falls towards them and they all catch it.) Chunk: Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! It's a stiff! (They all drop the body to the ground. Their panic is cut short. The door opens upstairs and the Fratellis walk in, their footsteps causing the floorboards above to creak. They all huddle close together, keeping very quiet.) Data: It's the door. Mama F: (Upstairs) Somebody's been here. The door's broken. Francis: I thought I shut it. Who left the lights on? Mama F: You did. (Chunk smells the pizza that Jake and Francis brought back with them.) Chunk: Pizza? Others: Shhh! Chunk: Pepperoni? Others: Shhh! Jake: Ma, he's eating my pepperoni. Francis: You want your pepperoni? (Throws a piece of pizza at Jake) Huh? (Pulls out a gn) Jake: (Pulls a gn on Francis) Come on. Come on. Let's kll each other over the pepperoni. Mama F: (Angrily) Jake, put that gn away! I said, put that gn away now! Jake: (Reholstering the gn) You always take his side, Mom. You always liked him better than me. Mama F: (Smacks Jake) That's right! (The Goonies quickly try and put the body back in the freezer.) Mouth: Put it back. Data: Close the door. (They close the door but Chunk is trapped in the freezer with the body and none of them notice.) Chunk: We can go back...Mikey...Mikey. Brand: (Whispering) Mikey, come on. Mikey: The fireplace, Brand. It's the only way out. You guys'll never get out that way. Brand: What? Mikey: It all starts here. (They all head over to the fireplace and start climbing down into the vertical shaft one at a time. Chunk is still in the freezer with the body.) Brand: (Going down first) Watch your foot. Mikey: Huh? Chunk: (In the freezer) Guys! I'm stuck with the stiff! He's in here. (The body slumps over onto Chunk; he pushes it back to a standing position) (To dad man) Stay! Stay! (Through the window) Guys, come here. He's in here. (Body slumps over again, onto Chunk) Oh, shit! Mikey: Come on, let's go. (Others are whispering) Go Andi, go. Andi: Go? (She climbs in after Brand) (The Fratellis are coming downstairs.) Mama F: Alright Jake, forget it. Jake: I'm sorry. Chunk: (Trying to get their attention) Help! Help! Help! Guys! (Mama Fratelli is downstairs. She calls back to Jake and Francis, who are coming down.) Mama F: Come on, you idiots! Jake, Francis: Okay, Mom. Mikey: Make sure it's safe. Mouth: (Climbing in) It's safe. Mama F: Hurry up! Chunk: (Still in the freezer, screaming) This is for real! I'm not kidding! Look in the window! Goonies: Come on. Brand: Where's Chunk? Mikey: Chunk's up there. (Brand climes back up and quickly covers the opening in the floor with the fireplace grate just as the Fratelli's walk in.) Francis: I don't want him to touch that. I worked two hours on that. Jake: You worked what... Mama F: Shut up! (Walks in, notices the broken glass from the cooler) Somebody's been here. The cooler's broken. Jake: Probably a tremor. Mama F: Go check your brother. Jake: Well, well, it could've been a tremor, Ma. Mama F: I'll show you a tremor! (Smacks him) Jake: Ooh! (Fake sobbing) I'm going to go check my brother. Mama F: He better not have broken those chains again. I'm not going back to the zoo for another set. Francis: Ma, just don't upset him. Mama F: Hurry up! (Chunk sneezes as Mama Fratelli walks by the freezer.) Mama F: Gesundheit. (When they are gone Chunk finally gets out of the freezer. Brand calls him over to the fireplace.) Chunk: It's cold. Brand: Chunk. Chunk: Huh? Brand: Chunk, over here. Mikey: Get over here! Chunk: What are you guys doing down there? Brand: Go get the police. Mikey: Chunk, we're in some serious shit here. You've gotta get the police. Look behind you. (Chunk steps back. A broom falls over, knocking some other stuff over and revealing a window!) Brand: Oh, the window. Go out the window. (Chunk opens the window and starts climbing he makes it out just as the Fratelli's come back into the room. Brand and Mikey climb back down the shaft to the others.) Data: Did you see him, guys? Mouth: Wait a minute. Where's Chunk? Brand: He went to go to the police. Mikey: The Fratellis are there. We gotta go. Come on, guys. Brand: Let's go. Mikey: He's going to get the police. Go. Move. Move. (Back in the restaurant) Francis: There's nothing the matter with him; nothing to worry about. Mama F: Aaah. I knew he couldn't break them chains. Come on, get the body. (The Tunnel)(The group has been making their way down the dark tunnel looking for a way out.) Andi: We've been walking forever. How much further do you plan on going? Stef: Ow! Mouth, you stepped on my foot. (A crunch is heard) I dropped my glasses; I can't see a thing. Oh my God. Mikey: (Picks up Stef's damaged glasses and hands them to her) I found your glasses. Sorry. Stef: You broke my glasses. You broke my glasses! Oh. Brand: Listen, guys. Listen, guys. I'm the oldest, so I'm in charge. First, we'll... Mikey: Data? Data: What? Mikey: Do you have a light? Brand: (To Mikey) I said I was in charge. (Turns Data to face him) Do you have a light? Data: A light... (thinking) sure, guys! Back up. Back up. (Opens his coat and pulls a string) Bully Blinders! (Two small high-powered spotlights spring up from his hips) Brand: Alright. Ow! (Shields his eyes) (The others stumble around as they shield their eyes from the suddenly very bright lights.) Data: You know, one day when I was walking home with this thing, and a couple big guys stopped me... Mouth: Who is it? Oh, Stef...watch out, Data. Brand: Watch out. (Unintelligable talking here.) Mikey: Data, come on. Turn it off. (The "Bully Blinders" fade out) Data: (To himself, disappointed) Oh, Data. Only problem is batteries don't last so long, guys. Oh. Mikey: Guys, there's a light up ahead. Maybe we can get out that way. Let's go. (The Woods) (Chunk is running through the woods trying to get to the road to flag down a car.) Chunk: I'm not afraid of the dark. I like the dark. I love the dark, but I hate nature. I hate nature. (A car passes; he tries to stop it, but he is too far away.) Chunk: Wait a sec! Hold on! (Chunk sees another car coming. He steps out in the road and waves his arms.) Chunk: Stop! Hold it! I'm just a kid! (The car stops. Chunk runs over to the driver's side, out of breath, but bold and serious.) Driver: What seems to be the problem? Chunk: Look, mister, I need a ride. My friends and I just had a run-in with these really disgusting people; you might have heard of them: the Fratellis. Well, we found their hideout, and could you please, please take me to the sheriff station. I can describe all three of 'em. (The driver turns on the interior lights. It turns out to be Jake Fratelli. Chunk, startled, takes a step back.) Chunk: (Nervous) Bur...uh...ta... Jake: (Singing in Italian) (While Jake is singing, Francis grabs Chunk from behind, and drags him around to the back of the ORV. Jake remains in the driver's seat, singing softly.) Chunk: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Jake: (Singing in Italian) (Francis shoves Chunk in the back of the ORV.) Jake: (To Francis) What the hell are you doing? He's only a kid. Can't you handle a kid, even? (Chunk discovers that he is next to the dad FBI man again.) Chunk: (Fear returning) Aaaah! (The Tunnels) (The gng has found a lantern and they are trying to light it.) Mikey: A lantern. Hey you guys, it's a lantern! Does it work, guys? Mouth: Don't worry about it.(They are all surprised that it actually works!) Mouth: Yeah! Brand: Yeah! Data: Yeah! (They look around and are a bit surprised that they are surrounded by all types of pipes.) Stef: I can't see anything. Mouth, your father's a plumber. What are these pipes all about? (The others argue amongst themselves while Mouth examines the pipes.) Mouth: These look like water pipes, guys. (Looking them over) Gas pipes...drainage... Maybe...wait a minute, guys! Shut up for a minute. Okay, lookit. These pipes must lead to a building or something, a foundation. So maybe if bang on 'em hard enough, (starts banging the pipes) if we make enough noise... (All of them start yelling and banging on the pipes.) (The pipes connect directly to the Astoria Country Club) (A slightly overweight, balding old fellow exits a tennis court, greets a friend and leans over to a drinking fountain. But as he leans, the fountain lurches down, and further down toward the ground. He tries to lean down with it, but then it suddenly springs up, hitting him in the face and knocking him over.) (Over in the men's shower, several old men are about to take showers. As one guy reaches for the faucet, it suddenly bursts back through the tiles. Another man is about to touch a pair of valves and they also burst back through the tiles, as well as all the other valves in the shower room!) (Finally Troy, whistling a bit to himself, he walks into a toilet stall, drops his pants and takes a seat. He is browsing through a copy of "gn 'n amo" magazine.) (Down in the tunnel, everyone stops as the pipes start making a strange sound. They all look around. Mouth understands this telltale warning sign.) Mouth: Reverse Pressure! (A high-powered jet of water geisers up from Troy's toilet, thrusting him up into the ceiling. He falls, crashing through the cubicle door and lands spread eagle on the bathroom floor, with water gushing all around him.) Troy: Daddy! (Down in the tunnel all of them realize that something is about to happen.) Mikey: Lets... Andi: Get outta... Data: Here! Stef: Like, now! (A waterpipe breaks, shting its high-pressure water against the dirt wall. Mouth tries to control the pipe as the others scramble to safety.) Brand: Go! Go! Go! (The dirt wall was very thin in this part. The blast of water erodes around a boulder, revealing an opening to a cave. The boulder tumbles into the cave.) (The Lighthouse Lounge) (The Fratelli's have brought Chunk back to the restaurant. Mama Fratelli is trying to terrorize him by demonstrating what will happen to his hand if he doesn't talk with a blender and a tomato.) Mama F: First we start with the fleshy little fingers, then the plump little hand. (Chunk, frightened, starts to sob) Then the fleshy arm... Now, tell me where your other little friends are. Chunk: (Sobbing) The fireplace. Mama F: Don't lie to me! Chunk: Honestly. We went over to Mikey's dad's place, and we found a map that said that underneath this place there's buried treasure. Jake: Come on, don't give us none of your bullshit stories, huh. Francis: Hey kid. I want you to spill your guts. Tell us everything. Chunk: Everything? Francis: Everything! Chunk: Everything. Okay, I'll talk. In third grade I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade I stole my Uncle Max's toupe and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew school play. In fifth grade I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... (The Tunnels) Stef: I can't see a thing. What am I stepping on? Oh brother. (Mikey stumbles upon a lantern and they light is so they can see around better.) Mikey: A lantern! Look, you guys, a lantern! Somebody must have been here before us. Data: Maybe they're still here. Stef: God, I hope not. Mouth: Look at these cigarettes. (Andi is freaking out at this point. She is almost to hysterics.) Andi: (To herself) Ten minutes ago... Mouth: Come on, Andi. Andi: (continuing) Troy was looking down my shirt. (Gasps) Who cares? There's nothing wrong with that, is there? If I wasn't so stupid he'd still be looking down my shirt. (The others realize very quickly that she is not acting normally.) Brand: You guys, listen to her. Data: What's the matter with her? (Andi walks on ahead of the group. Brand tries to comfort her.) Brand: Andi...it's okay. Data: Is she alright? Brand: It's okay. Andi? Andi? Stef: Oh, I stubbed my toe. (Andi is not paying any attention to any of them. She continues on her tangent.) Data: Hey Andi! Brand: (Touching her left arm) Andi! Andi: I should have let him look at my body. Don't I have a beautiful body? (To Brand, gesturing to herself) Don't I have a beautiful body? Brand: You've got a great, a great body. Andi: (Reassurred) I have a beautiful body. How many more years do I have, before I, get old and fat; before, my hair falls out...(points at the ground ahead of her) ...before I look like him. (The skeletal remains of a body lie half buried in the dirt with bugs crawling over the skull and out of the eye sockets. They all shriek with fright at the gruesome find. Andi screams much louder than the rest. She turns to Brand, starting to cry.) Andi: Brand! (The Lighthouse Lounge) (Back at the restaurant Chunk is still giving his confession.) Chunk: Then my mom sent me to...to a summer camp for fat kids. And that was third lunch I got nuts and I pigged out, and they kicked me out. (The Tunnels) (In the tunnel Brand, Mikey, Data, and Mouth are examining the skeleton. Andi is sobbing into Stef's shoulder.) Brand: Look at him. Data: Don't touch it guys. You guys, now... Mikey: This is one of your tricks, isn't it One-eyed Willy? (Takes a puff) You wouldn't have gone through all this trouble if you weren't really hiding something, would you? (Andi has buried her face in Stef's shoulder and is completely hysterical. Stef is trying to calm her down.) Stef: I know. I know. So did I. It's okay. It's okay. There's nothing to worry about. Andi: You don't know. You don't understand. (The guys continue their examination of the body.) Data: He's dad for sure. I think he's the Chester Copperpot. Mouth: Chester who? Mikey: Who? Data: Don't you guys remember? From the attic...the Don't you guys remember? From the attic...the news article. Mikey: (Remembering) Oh, the news article, right. Data: See, they said the last guy who went looking for the rich stuff...they say he went in, but he never came back out. See, that was back in nineteen thirty-five. Oh God, if he didn't make it out, and he was supposed to be an expert, what about us guys? How are we going to get out of here, huh? Brand: Oh. (Andi has calmed down now, and is listening to Stef's words of reassurance.) Stef: Don't worry about it. Just calm down. Andi: You sure? Stef: I'm positive. Andi: You sure? Stef: Positive. Andi: How are we going to get out? Mikey: We can't be sure it's Chester Copperpot. Data: I know it's him. I know, I read the article. Brand: I bet his ID's in his wallet. Mouth, get his wallet. Mikey: (Picking up an old sports card he found with the body) Lou Gerrig? Mouth: (Too afraid to go near the body) You get it, Mikey. Brand: Mouth, come on. Data: Mikey, get it. Brand: Get his wallet. (Mikey retrieves the wallet and reads the ID inside. He shows the proof that nobody wanted to see.) Mikey: It is Chester Copperpot. Brand: Oh God. Oh. Data: See? I told you. Mouth: We're gonna get klled, too. (Among Chester's things Mikey finds some candles.) Mikey: Hey, look at this. Candles, a whole bunch of 'em. Data: Great! Let me have it. I'll put it in my pack. (As Mikey hands the candles to Data we see that one of them is labeled 'Dynamite'.) Mouth: Oh. He's dad. Data: He's dad? (Gets up to leave) Mouth: Data, where are you going? Data: I'm setting boody traps. Mikey: Booby traps. Data: That's what I said. See, I'm setting booby traps in case of anybody's following us, like the Fratellis, so we can hear them coming. (Zips shut his knapsack) Brand: Okay, hurry up. Mikey: Good idea. Stef: Hey Data, where are you going? Data: I'm setting boody traps. Stef: You mean booby traps. Data: That what I said, booby traps! Be quiet. Shh. God, these guys. (Andi returns her face to Stef's shoulder; Stef holds Andi, comforting her. Mouth, meanwhile, has found another artifact with Chester's things.) Mouth: Guys. Guys, look at this. Look at this. Mikey: Yeah, give me that. Mouth: It looks like a skeleton of One-eyed Willy or something. Mikey: Give me that. Give me this thing. (Mouth hands it to him) (This artifact resembles a large key with a skull on the top. Triangular holes appear representing the eyes and nose. As Mikey pulls it out to take a closer look a cord tied to it and around the neck of the skeleton causes Chester's head to dismember. It rolls over, startling everybody.) Mikey: Oh, man! Mouth: (Frightented and gasping) Don't touch that. Don't touch that. (Brand respectfully repositions the skull to its proper orientation.) Mouth: Oh God. Oh my God, don't, don't, don't... Mikey: Hey guys, now that we've got... (Mikey finds a wire that is mostly concealed by the sand on the tunnel floor. He pulls it up slowly out of the sand.) Mikey: Look at this. You see what I found? (Mikey pulls the wire a little to hard and sets off a chain reaction. Mikey drops the wire and freezes, afraid to make another move. A large scathe is swinging back and forth, its blade cutting a rope.) Mikey: Guys, freeze. Don't move. Don't move. (Warning the girls and Data, who is further down the tunnel) You guys! Don't move back there! Don't move! Data: What? Mikey: Freeze. (Data looks up and notices several more huge boulders hanging percariously above from chains. They are rocking slightly. Data races back to the group.) Mikey: Guys! Guys! Stef: Let's go! Mikey: Run you guys! RUN! (The group runs for cover. Data accidentally trips and looks above him to see another boulder rocking even more.) Data: Holy S-H-I-T! (The first of the boulders crashes to the ground. Data races to safety with another boulder falling behind him. They all jump over a small ledge for cover as several of these huge boulders fall in sequence. Mikey darts out quickly to rescue the lantern.) Mikey: The lantern! Brand: Mikey come back! (Mikey grabs the lantern and makes it back just as the last boulder crashes to the ground.) Brand: That was close. Data: That was close. Mikey: Oh. (Brand notices a rock covering a small cave entrance behind them. He hears some sounds from behind the rock.) Brand: Wait, wait, wait, listen. Sounds like somebody's down there. (Moves in to listen more closely) Shut up and listen. Andi: Maybe it's a way out. Stef: Maybe it's the Fratellis. Data: Maybe Chunk found the police. Mouth: Maybe it's another one of Willy's booby traps. (The rock isn't very heavy and Brand rolls it aside.) Stef: Brand, God put that rock there for a purpose, and, um, and I'm not so sure you should, um, move iter thing. (A faint squeaking can be heard from inside the cave. Brand calls out.) Brand: Hello? (A huge group of bats fly out of the cave and head right for the Goonies. Everyone is waving their hands over their faces to keep the bats away.) Data: Guys! Guys! Back, back back. Brand: Get 'em off me. Mikey: Brand. Andi. They're in my hair. Stef: Rabies! Rabies! We're gonna get rabies! Mouth: (Trying to command the bats) Sit! Sit! (The bat swarm flies over the fallen boulders as still more bats pour from the cave.) (The Lighthouse Lounge) Chunk: But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theatre, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony, and then, then I made a noise like this. (Acts like he is throwing up) Huagh. Huagh. Huagh. Huaaah! And, and then I dumped it over the side on all the people in the audience. Then, th-then then this was horrible, all the people started getting sick, and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life. Jake: (Smiles a bit at Chunk's twisted sense of humour) Ma, I'm beginning to like this kid. Mama F: (Tired of this) ht puree! (One of them starts up the blender as they try to force Chunk's hand into it.) Chunk: No! I'm too young. No! I wanna play the violin. No, not my hand. Mama F: Now, do I get the truth... Chunk: Please. Mama F: Do I get the truth? Or do you get juice? (The loss of Chunk's hand is cut short as the flock of bats bursts through the fireplace.) Mama F: What was that noise? Francis: The fireplace blew. The kid's not kidding, Ma, there's a tunnel down there. (Jake makes a sign of the cross with his fingers and tries to shoo the bats away.) Francis: (He takes of his toupee and tries to protect it. ) Watch your hair! Watch your hair! They go for the hair! Jake: Watch your face, Mom. Chunk: (Shouting towards the fireplace) Hey Mikey, if you can hear me, run! Run! They're comin' after ya. (The Cave) Data: Hey, you guys, if we keep going this far down we'll reach China. Stef: My feet are klling me. I can't see a thing. Data: Maybe I can visit my Auntie or something Mikey: Uh, this could get dangerous, Andi. You might want to hold my hand. Andi: (Takes his hand) Thank you. (As they round the bend a shaft of light illuminates an underground waterfall and pond.) Mikey: (In unison with Data) Oh, wow! Data: Oh, neat! That's neat. Mikey: You guys, look! It's a beautiful waterfall. (They wade through the shallow pond and discover that it is full of coins.) Mikey: Wow! Data: Wow! It's a giant piggy bank. Andi: We're rich! I don't believe it. Mikey: You guys, we found it. We found the gold! Brand: Gold and silver! It's shining all over the place. Mouth: Gold! Guys, we did it! Data: Brand, hold the lantern for me. Mouth: Rich stuff! Data: Hey, Mouth, what year was that map made? Mouth: (Inspecting a coin) Oh, I don't know. Probably a couple hundred years before... Data: Oh, wow! Mouth: ...uh, President Lincoln, (inspects another coin), George Washington, (and another), uh, Martin Sheen... Stef & Andi: (Surprised) Martin Sheen? (Stef grabs the coin from Mouth) Stef: That's President Kennedy, you idiot! Mouth: (Defensively) Well, same difference! I mean, he played Kennedy once. Stef: Oh, that's really smart. I'm glad you know you're using your brain. Mouth: Yeah, well at least I have a brain! Stef: So stupid, Mouth! Mouth: Oh yeah? Stef: Yes! Shut up! (To the others) Wait a minute, wait a minute. This isn't gold. This is a wishing well. Look. Look. Brand: Hey, you guys, it must be the Old Mossgarden Wishing Well. Andi: You know, I always used to believe that when you threw your money in, it turned into your wish. Mikey: You take that coin, and I'll take two coins. I'll take all your coins and you won't get any. Data: Hey, that's not fair. Stef: Wait, wait, wait. Stop. Stop. Data: Why? Stef: You can't do this. Data: Why? Mikey: Why? Stef: Because, these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams. Mouth: (Holding up a coin) Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here, this was my dream, my wish, and it didn't come true. So I'm takin' it back. I'm takin' 'em all back. (Dives underwater) Mikey: Come on, One-eyed Willy, what does this have to do with the map? Is this just another one of your tricks? (The Lighthouse Lounge) (The Fratellis have given up trying to interrogate Chunk. They are all sitting around eating ice cream. Chunk is looking on enviously.) Jake: You know, maybe we should keep him alive, just in case, uh, he isn't lying. Mama F: Good idea, Jake. Put him in with your brother. Jake: Okay, Mom. (To Chunk) Come on, kid. (Jake sets down his ice cream as he reaches to pull Chunk up from his chair. The doubloon falls from Chunk's pocket; Jake picks it up.) Jake: You drop something? Mama F: What's that? (Francis reaches down and picks the up the doubloon. Jake, curious, leans over to look. Francis pulls up quickly, the doubloon in hand, and hits heads with Jake.) Francis: Aaah! Mama F: What's that? A crcker-Jack prize? Francis: (Inspecting the doubloon) Holy shit! Chunk: (Trying to pull the doubloon out of Francis' hand) We found it on the map. It's got something to do with the buried treasure. Jake: Buried treasure? (Yanks Chunk unceremoniously out of the way-he thumps on the ground behind them) Francis: Jake, look at this. Look at the date. Look at the date on it. (Jake takes the doubloon from Francis and rubs the surface.) Jake: (Looking it over, bewildered) This is authentic. Ma, this is a doubloon. Mama F: Give it to me. (Takes it) Aaagh. Chunk: (Picks up Jake's ice cream and continues eating it) I told you so. See, you guys, you never believe me. But I said that there was going to be buried... (Both the Fratellis' look down to him. Jake sees Chunk eating the ice cream and takes the container from him. Chunk puts the spoon in his mouth to get the remaining ice cream, and Jake pulls the spoon from his mouth. Chunk cries in disappointment.) (The Wishing Well) (After the plumbing disaster at the Country Club, Troy has cleaned himself up and driven out to the Old Mossgarden Well to meet a couple friends. Troy is leaning on the well tossing a coin.) Troy's Friend #1: Hey Troy, how far you gone with Andi? Troy's Friend #2: All the way, buddy? (They laugh) Troy: You guys are so immature. Why don't you grow up? Troy's Friend #2: Come on, tell us. Troy's Friend #1: Really. Troy: Alright, put it this way. I didn't make it with her yet...and I stress yet. (Tosses the coin into the well.) (Down below the well, Troy's coin pings onto the rocks next to Brand. He looks up, surprised.) Brand: Huh? What the hell? (Up above...) Troy's Friend #1: What'd you wish for? Troy: (Grinning) To make it with Andi. (The coin flies back out of the well and lands in Troy's open hand. Troy is completely taken by surprise. After a moment's hesitation, he looks down into the well.) Troy: Hey! Who's down there? (Down below...) Stef: It's Troy. Data: Hey guys, it's Troy! Andi: Troy! Troy's Friends: That sounds like Andi. (They all laugh) Troy: Andi... (laughing) Is that you? Andi: Yes Troy, it's me. We're stuck down here. Please send down the bucket and the rope. Troy: What the hell are you doing at the bottom of a well? Andi: Don't ask these stupid questions, we're stuck, just send down the bucket. Come on. Troy: Oh. (To his friends) See guys. Wishes do come true. (They all laugh at the strange situation) (The Lighthouse Lounge, Basement) (The Fratellis have tied Chunk into a chair in the room with Jake's brother. He is watching an old black and white Errol Flynn pirate movie on a TV set in the room. Jake has brought him some food; Francis is talking to Chunk.) Errol Flynn: (in movie) Alright Mahodies, follow me! Jake: Don't worry. Here. We're leaving. I brought you some more food. Francis: Is that too tight? Chunk: Yes, it is. Francis: If you let yourself out, I'll break your legs. Jake: What are you doing? How many times I gotta tell you? You sit too close to the television set you're gonna screw up your enima, alright? Francis: Jake! Leave him alone! Jake: I had nothing on him. Francis: Hare Krishna...Hare Krishna...Hare Krishna... (Jake and Francis walk out, leaving Chunk alone with the "It".) Chunk: Come on. Let me out. (In the pirate movie, a man is seen sliding down a tall sail, slicing it with a Knfe to break his fall. Chunk turns his head to look at the strange man for the first time. He is frightened, but trying his best to make friendly conversation.) Chunk: (Laughs a bit) H-H-Hi, s-sir. M-M-M-M-My name's Lawrence. Ha Ha...sometimes people call me "Chunk". (The "It" turns his head to face Chunk and shouts at him. Chunk is horrified by his appearance. He sits there slack-jawed. The "It" shouts again. Afraid that the "It" will try to hurt him, Chunk tries to hobble away on his chair. Oddly enough, the strange man finds this funny and begins to laugh.) Chunk: (Shouting) Help, help! Let me out of here! (Tunnel Entrance) (The Fratellis are now gathered around the tunnel entrance by the fireplace with flashlights.) Jake: You know, Ma, you never know what we're gonna find down here. Could be ghosts. Mama F: Okay, let's get down there. Francis: (Shining his light down) Whoa, look at this. Look how deep it is down there. Oh. Jake: Look at that. Mama F: Come on, Jake. You first. Jake: I ain't gonna go first, Ma. Wha, you kiddin' me? Mama F: (Pulls a gn and points it at Jake). Go! Jake: Can't argue with that, Ma. Alright. (Slides in) (The Wishing Well) (Troy and his friends are finally lowering the bucket into the well.) Data: Troy, throw some money down, okay? Brand: I can see it. Hey Troy! (To the others) Come on! Data: (Reaches for the rope, climbing around the bucket) Hey, you guys. I'm the smartest, so I'm gonna to go first, okay? Brand: (Pulls him off) Get out of there. I'm the oldest, so I'll call the shts. Andi goes first. I go second. Stef and Mikey go third. Data, you go fourth. (Andi climbs onto the bucket, holding the rope) Mikey (Whispering to himself) Chester Copperpot...Chester Copperpot... (Out loud, to the rest) Chester Copperpot! Don't you guys see? Don't you realize? He was a pro. He never made it this far. Look how far we've come. We've got a chance. Andi: Chance at what, Mikey? Getting klled? Look, if we keep going someone's really gonna get hurt, maybe dad. Besides, we gotta get to the police. Mikey: Maybe Chunk already got to the police. Andi: Maybe Chunk is dad. Mikey: Don't say that. Never say that. Goonies never say "die". Andi: I'm not a Goonie. I wanna go home. Mikey: I forgot. But still...don't you realize? The next time we see sky it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the bestest stuff for us. But right now they gotta do what's right for them, 'cause it's their time. Their time, up there. Down here it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up "Troy's bucket". (Mikey pauses. He gives a long hard look at everyone. They look at each other. Mikey takes a puff and continues.) (Troy and his friends are pulling up the bucket and the rope. When it gets to the top we see that Andi has put Troy's sweater on the bucket.) Troy: Andi! You Goonie!! (The Lighthouse Lounge) (A cooking show is on the TV, and Julia Child is demonstrating the frosting of a luscious chocolate cake. Sloth and Chunk are both hungry and they share a love for chocolate.) Julia Child: Spread it around. Try to make your frosting look a little bit rugged. Sloth: Chocolate? Ha ha. Chocolate. Chunk: Want a candy bar? Julia Child: What you do now... Chunk: Look, I got a Baby Ruth. (Pulls it from his pocket) Sir? Sloth: Huh, huh. Wha? Ahh? Ruth..Ruth..Ruth..Baby Ruth. Chunk: I'm gonna throw it to you, okay? (Chunk's arms are tied to the arms of the chair. With some difficulty he does the best he can to throw it to Sloth. But all the movement Chunk can muster is a flick of his wrist. The candy bar bounces off Sloth's forehead and lands on the floor just out of his reach. Sloth appears angry that this has happened and Chunk's eyes widen in fear, not knowing how Sloth will react.) Sloth: (Frustrated) Ahh! Chunk: Aaaaaagh! (Tries to hobble his chair over to pick it up for Sloth) (Sloth tries desperately to reach for the candy bar, but the chains stop his hands short. He cannot reach it and grows more frustrated.) Sloth: Aaagh! Chunk: I'm sorry, sir. I tried to give it to you. Oh, I'm sorry. Sloth: AAAh! Chunk: I'm really sorry. Sloth: (Frustration increasing) Aaagh! (Starts pulling on his chains) Chunk: What're you doing? Sloth: (Tugging at chains) Uh! Chunk: What're you doing? Sloth: (Still tugging) Uh! Ah! Chunk: What? (Sloth focuses his strength on one chain and pulls with all his might. The chain's anchor bolt breaks away from the plaster wall. He tries for the candy bar and still can't reach it, so, wildly driven, obsessed, he concentrates his full weight into the other chain. With some effort it too breaks free. He finally picks up the candy bar in delightful victory. He delicately unfurls the wrapper.) Sloth: (Satisfied) Hey? Ha. Chunk: Geez, Mister, you're even hungrier than I am. (Tunnel) (Now past the water pipes and into the main tunnel system, the Fratellis have set off the firecracker "boody traps" that Data left behind.) Francis: Booby traps! Jake: Booby traps! Mama F: Booby traps. It's only booby traps. Why you bein' such a sissy? Jake: Friggin' kids. (At the front of the fallen boulders they come across Chester Copperpot's remains. Jake picks up the empty wallet.) Jake: Niente. Kids must have cleaned him out, Mama. Mama F: Sure, right before they ate him. Francis: Stupid. (His flashlight catches a small sneaker-print) Mama F: Follow them size fives. (The Lighthouse Lounge, Basement) (Sloth has now completely freed himself from the chains. He stands, towering before Chunk, still tied in his chair.) Sloth: (Boldly strikes his chest) Sloth. Chunk: (Pointing to himself) Chunk. Sloth: (Hits himself again) Sloth... (Hits Chunk in the chest) Chunk! (The impact of his enormous hand caused Chunk to fall over backwards. Sloth finds this a bit funny, but Chunk is too stunned to say anything. Sloth rocks the chair back upright with a single hand. Chunk is nervous because he doesn't know what else is going to happen to him. But Sloth ever so gently peels back more of the candy bar wrapper and feeds it to Chunk. They enjoy the candy bar together. Then, Sloth suddenly becomes excited about his new-found friend. He shouts for joy and picks up the chair with Chunk in it. Chunk's response is must more fearful. But Sloth is happy; he plants a big kiss on Chunk. He laughs with delight, but Chunk is repelled by Sloth's offensive odor.) Sloth: Ah! Ha ha ha! Chunk: Man, you smell like Phys-Ed. (Mossgarden Wishing Well) Data: Mouth, hold this. Mikey: Translate this. Mouth: (Reading the map, translating) Copper bones, westward foams... Mikey: (Whispering) Westward foams. Mouth: (Continuing) ...triple stones. Mikey: Triple stones. (Holding up the "key" retrieved from Chester's remains) This must be "Copper Bones". (Brand is growing fatigued. Standing against the cave wall, between the two girls, he starts to doze off in Stef's direction. Andi's eyes widen and Stef gives him a strange look.) Brand: Huh? Sorry. (Brand realizes his mistake and turns around to snuggle in closer to Andi. She caresses his hair.) (Mikey, Mouth, and Data have pulled some growth off part of the cave wall to expose an old wooden wheel with stone patterns in it.) Mikey: Wow! Look at that. Mouth: What? Mikey: Triple stones! Data: Triple stones?! We found it, Mikey. Maybe we can find a way out! Mouth: (Quietly, almost to himself) Triple stones? What are you talking about? Mikey: We got you now, One-eyed Willy. We're comin' up right behind ya. (Brand is a little embarrassed by Mikey's enthusiasm.) Brand: Why couldn't I have a little sister? Just a little sister, instead of that! (Mikey and the others are trying to align the holes in the "Copper Bone" key with the stones on the wheel.) Mikey: (Whispering, trying to make sense of the riddle) Westward foams... Data: Maybe... (Data sees a pattern that might work as Mikey is trying to fit it in other stones.) Data: No, that's too big. Try the middle one. Mouth: You guys are crazy. Data: How 'bout the middle? (Mikey tries the key on the right set of stones and it fits perfectly.) Data: It fits, Mikey! It fits! Mikey: We got it! Data: We got it. Wait. Wait. Which way do we turn? Mikey: We got you now, One-eyed Willy. Data: Which way do we turn? Mikey: West? Data: West; counter-clockwise. Mikey: Counter-clockwise. Data: Try it, Mikey. Try it. (Mikey turns the wheel.) Data: Yeah, yeah, yeah. (The clicking of an efficient clockwork rachet is heard as a pair of wooden stocks close on Mikey's wrist, locking his hand into the wall.) Mikey: (Surprised) Aaagh! (The mechanism continues to click internally, and a heavy cannon ball is released and is set rolling on an elevated track around the top of the room.) Stef: What the hell is that?! (The cannon ball passes over Andi, Stef, and Brand. Andi follows it with her eyes as it passes, then looks back in fright with a gasp.) Mikey: Look out. Mouth: Oh my God! It's gonna fall on us or something! Mikey: It's another one of Willy's tricks. Get out of the way! Data: What? (The cannonball falls off the end of its track around the room. Landing in a net it yanks a rope causing the floor beneath Data's feet to collapse. Data disappears into the cave floor.) Data: Aaaaaagh! Andi: (Leaping forward) Data!!! (While falling, Data yanks on a cord on his sleeve. A pair of false teeth on a long spring leap out of his sleeve and catch on a rock. The spring is strong enough to stop him from landing on large pointed sticks that probably would have klled him. The others, horrified that he may be lost forever, crowd around the opening, looking for any sign of him.) Andi: Data! Mikey: Data! Brand: Data! Mouth: Data! Mikey: Data, please! Mouth: He's gone. Andi: Oh, no... Mouth: He's really truly gone. Andi: Don't be dad. (Data, meanwhile, dangles safely above some jagged stalagmites from the spring that is attached to his "Pinchers of Peril".) Data: Pinchers of Peril! You guys, I've been saved by my Pinchers of Peril! (The group hears his shouts and rejoices.) Goonies: He's alive! He's alive! (Data, the near tragedy averted, looks around his new location with interest.) Data: Guys, I'm in another room! (The Lighthouse Lounge, Basement) (Chunk and Sloth have freed themselves and Chunk is on the phone talking to the Sheriff. Sloth is digging around in the freezer.) Chunk: Hello, Sheriff? I'm at the old Lighthouse Lounge and I want to, and I want to report, ah...a mrder. Sheriff: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Just hold on here. Is that you again, Lawrence? Chunk: Sheriff, look. This time I'm telling you the truth. I'm locked inside the Fratelli's basement with this guy... (Sloth emerges from the freezer with a container of ice cream.) Sloth: Rocky Road, heh heh. Sheriff: Yeah, like the time you told me about the fifty Iranian trrorists who took over all the Sizzler Steak houses in the city? (Sloth, however, is now interested in the tunnel under the fireplace. Chunk tries to stop him while staying on the phone.) Chunk: Sloth, get back here. Sloth, what are you doing? Sheriff: (continuing) Just like that last prank about all those little creatures that multiply when you throw water on 'em? (While trying to stop Sloth, Chunk has stretched the phone cord over to the fireplace, but Sloth is already starting to climb in.) Chunk: Sloth! Sloth! We're not going in the fireplace. (Now Chunk's phone cord breaks from the wall and the Sheriff is cut off with a dial tone.) Sheriff: Lawrence? Chunk: (Trying to explain) No Sloth, it's just your echo. Sloth: Echo! (echoing) Whoa. (more echoing) Chunk: No Sloth, I'll show you. Don't go down there. It's all dark down there, Sloth. It's your echo, Sloth. Echo. (Tunnels, New Room) Mikey: (To himself) I gotta go to the bathroom. (Announces to group) Pee break. Who's gotta go? Mouth: Me. Data: Me. Andi: Me. Stef: Me. Brand: (Quietly) Me. Mikey: Okay then, this is the little boy's room, and that tunnel's the little girl's room. Let's go. Mikey: Brand, where are you going? Brand: This is the men's room. Mikey: Where are you guys going? Data: Men's room, Mikey. Mouth: Yeah, we're going to the men's room. (Tunnel) (Chunk and Sloth have just arrived at the point in the Tunnels where all of the water pipes are. The pipes are still moving up and down.) Chunk: Yeah, Mikey's been through here all right. (Sloth grabs one of the pipes that's moving, and shoves it all the way up to the ceiling. We can hear a car crash, a scream, and the sound of police sirens coming from above.) Sloth: Uh oh. ('Girl's Room') Stef: Andi, this not the time of the place for this. Andi: Believe me, I know what I'm doing. Brand! Brand! ('Men's Room') Brand: (to Mikey) Go see what she's ragging about, will ya? ('Girls Room') (Mikey heads over to the 'Girl's Room to see what Andi wants. It's dark and he can't really see.) Andi: Brand? Hurry, I'm in here. With my eyes closed! (Mikey is still fumbling around. Andi comes up and grabs him and kisses him. Stef comes up with the lantern and sees what's going on. She quietly laughs and then goes away. Mikey starts to leave but is going the wrong direction.) Stef: Hey loverboy, it's this way. Mikey: Thanks. (leaves) Stef: (to Andi) All right, you kissed now tell. Andi: There's something weird. Stef: What? What is it? Andi: Does Brand wear braces? (Stef laughs) Why are you laughing? Stef, it was beautiful. Stef: Next time you kiss him, do it with your eyes open. It's a whole different experience. Andi: Ah, be careful around here, there's a whole I think. I think Brand was standing in it. (Tunnel) Francis: Hey Ma, after we dump the kids how do we get outta here. I ain't been leaving no trail of breadcrumbs, you know. Mama Fratelli: The boys are right around here somewhere, I'm telling you. I can smell their bubblegum. (Jake sees the rope that the Goonies used to get into the lower tunnels with.) Jake: Ma, look! I'll give you three guesses who left this. (Francis trips on the rope) You all right? (They shine their flashlights down to see what's below them.) (Lower Tunnel) (Andi walks over to Brand and motions for him to follow her.) Brand: What are you, crazy? They're here! Andi: (panicked) They're here? They're here! They're here! They're here! (Brand covers her mouth before she can freak out any more.) (Upper Tunnel) Jake: Quiet! Right down there. (Lower Tunnel) Brand: You guys! This way, this way! Follow me! Don't fall behind. Come on! (They run into the central tunnel, and as they run the lantern lights up all of the tunnels and it looks like a giant skull.) (The Fratelli's make it into the lower tunnel) Jake: Watch your step, Ma. Mama F.: Watch your own! (The Goonies come to a little mini waterfall and river, and the only way to cross it is a fallen log.) Brand: What is this?! Mikey: Keep going, you guys! Brand: This looks like a drawbridge or something. Mouth: (sees the Fratelli's closing in) Jerk Alert!! (I can't figure out what everyone is saying right here because there are too many people talking at once.) (All the Goonies except for Data have made it across.) Stef: Somebody's coming! Brand: (to Mikey) Hurry up! (The Fratelli's make it to the opening by the "bridge".) Jake: They're over here! (Data is about to cross the "bridge".) Andi: Data, hurry up! Mikey: Don't' be a fool, Data. Come on! Data: I've got a great idea, guys. Slick shoes! Mikey & Mouth: Slick shoes, are you crazy?! (Data pulls a string and the back of his shoes pop open and begin to squirt oil onto the log behind him as he works his way across.) Brand: Okay, good job. I can see their flashlights. Jake: Hiya fella's, remember me? (Data has made it across and they all run for it.) Jake: We just wanna get outta here. (Data uses his entire arm to flip them off.) Jake: Stop or I'm gonna sht! (He sht at the ceiling and rocks and dirt fall onto their heads. Francis sh*t and hits a rock that Mikey's hand is on.) Mikey: Holy Mackenzie! Jake: (to Francis) What are you doing? You're gonna start a cave in, here! Francis: Cave in! What the hell do you think that was? (points to the ceiling where Jake sht at.) (Bone Piano Cave) Andi: Brand, hurry up with that lantern, it's pitch black. (They pull some candles out of Data's pack.) Mikey: Do you have some matches or something? Data: No. Brand: Ah, light it on the lamp. Data: Good idea. (Waterfall) Jake: Just cross now. Francis: Wait a minute! Jake: Just cross! Francis: Don't push me! Jake: Hurry up! (Francis goes to cross the log first. He reaches the spot where Data has squirted the oil and he does a complete head over heels flip and lands hard on the log.) Mama F: Sweetheart, are you okay? Francis: (very high pitched) No. (Bone Piano Cave) Brand: (banging on the walls) These are all solid. Look at this. Data: (turns around and sees something) Wow. What is that? (They all turn to look and see a giant piano made out of bones.) Stef: It's disgusting. Mikey: Yo. Brand: Wow! Mouth: Narly. Data: That's atrocious, you guys. Brand: Look at all these bones, how did they put all these (Waterfall) Mama F: Help him, help him! Hurry up! (Jake moves to help Francis but he slips on the oil as well and falls onto the log. Suddenly the water rises and Jake and Francis are in danger of being swept off the log.) Mama F: What are you doing? You're letting them get away. Jake: Mama! Mama F: What's that matter with you two? (Bone Piano Cave) (Mouth is reading from the map.) Mouth: To move on play the tune as each note said. If you make too many mistakes, ye will surly be Stef: What? What? Andi: Be what? Mouth: Muerto. Mikey: Muerto? Stef: What's what? Come on! Mouth: dad. Stef: Oh, God! Andi: dad. Brand: You mean we gotta play the bones to get outta here. Mikey: Exactly. (Data comes running up) Brand: Were they out there? Hurry up. Mikey: (turns the map over) You guys, look! There's notes on this. Stef: Andi. Andi, you took piano lessons. Andi: I was four years old. Mouth: Do you want to live to be 17? ht it! Andi: (goes up to the piano) Okay, I have to find middle C. This is nothing like my mother's style. Data: Do something. Hurry! Andi: Okay, the first chord, I think, is (She plays a chord and a door begins to open up.) Brand: My God, it's working. It's working, you guys. Way to go, Andi. Way to go! Andi: It's all coming back to me now! Okay, um, A, C sharp, D. Mouth: Remember those lessons and play it right, please!! (She plays the wrong chord and the floor drops out from behind Mouth. They all grab him so he doesn't fall into this huge pit. Data, meanwhile, checks out the entrance to the tunnel to see if the Fratelli's have caught up with them.) Data: They're coming guys. They're down there. They're coming up. What should I do? (Everyone looks at Andi.) Andi: All right! Data: They're coming! Guys, they look really pissed off! (Andi plays another wrong note and the floor drops off behind Brand. He almost tumbles in, but they all grab onto him.) Stef: What were you thinking? Andi: I ht the wrong note! I'm not Liberachi you know! Brand: Listen, listen, you're doing fine. Mikey: Andi, I believe in you. Goonies always make mistakes. Just don't make any more. Now come on. Andi: Ah, where was I? A, A flat Mouth: Play it! (She plays the correct chord and the door opens a little more.) Mouth: All right! Good! (Data goes to check the entrance again. Data: Hey guys! They're gone! Ahhhhhh! (Jake reaches up and grabs Data. The boxing glove under his jacket pops up and nails Jake. He and Francis go sliding down the rocks, and Data is able to get away. Data runs back to the rest of the group.) Data: They're coming you guys! (He runs into them and pushes them onto the piano keys. They ht the wrong note, and the floor falls out from behind Data. They are now stuck on a small island of rock and they only way to escape is through the door.) Andi: I can't tell if it's an A sharp or a B flat. Mikey: You ht the wrong note, we'll all be flat. (Brand looks at Mikey like he just made a really distasteful joke, which he did.) (Andi plays the right note and the door opens all the way.) Mikey: Let's go guys. Hurry up! Brand: Go, go, go! (They all run through)(to Andi) Grab ahold of my hand! (The Fratelli's arrive) Francis: (to Jake) Toss me the gn. Give me the gn! (Jake tosses him the gn but Francis drops it and it gets tangled up in some dry moss.) Andi: Brand wait! Brand: What? What are you doing? Andi: The map! (She grabs the map) Brand: Let's get outta here! (They escape just as Francis untangles the gn.) (Waterslide) (The door leads to a system of waterslides. They gng all hop on and go for a ride. They end up coming out in a lagoon of sorts.) (Lagoon) Brand: (as he falls out into the water) Geranimo! Mouth: (as he falls out into the water) Oh shit! (They all look around to make sure that everyone is all right.) Stef: Are you okay, Mouth? Andi, are you okay? (They hug) (Data and Mikey hug. As they do, Mikey sees the ship.) Data: What? (They all turn around.) Mouth: Oh my god. Data: Oh, wow! (They all realize that they've found The Inferno. Brand tosses the now useless lantern aside and hugs Andi. Stef even hugs Mouth.) Stef: Oh my god! (realizes that she's hugging Mouth and shoves him away.) Oh god! (Tunnel) Mama F.: Follow me. (She leads Jake and Francis around to the door.) Mama Fratelli: Idiots! (The Inferno) (The gng all climb up onto the ship.) Mikey: Come on you guys. Andi: (to Mikey) Do you really think there's a treasure here? Mikey: Andi, this whole ship's a treasure. Andi: (spots a skeleton) Oh! Mikey look. (walks around it) Mikey: Ah, it's nothing to worry about Andi, it's only a skeleton. (he turns the skeleton around and sees that daggers have been shoved into the skeletons eyes.) Ewww. Data: There's gotta be gold. (All of a sudden the ship floor gives way beneath him and he falls through. He lands hard but he's okay. He checks himself over to make sure he's all right.) Data: Data's okay. Data's okay. (turns to his side and sees a skeleton.) Ahhh! All: Data are you okay? Data: Data's okay. But Data's tired of falling and Data's tired of skeletons. Brand: Why didn't you use the stairs. Data: Use the stairs! Some idiot up there tells me to use the stairs when Data's falling. Data says nobody cares anymore. Stairs. (The rest of them come down the stairs.) Mikey: Data's okay. Data: And they tell me I have stupid inventions. And I'm spending months and months studying on them and inventing them. God! What fun I have. (Mikey walks over to another skeleton and picks up it's sword.) Andi: Don't touch that. Mikey: Why? He's dad, he doesn't care. Brand: Put that down. Andi: Well have some respect. Put it down. Brand: How many ships did you say there were? Mikey: Billions. Brand: Billions. Billions? (They all head up some stairs.) Brand: Okay, be careful you guys. These stairs are slippery. Okay guys, don't slip. Don't slip. (As he says this he slips.) (Andi finds a little doll of sorts.) Andi: Oohh. Mikey: Mouth translate. Mouth: Ah, translate nothing! It's just a sketch of the old cannonball chamber. Where's the gold?! Stef: Where's the gold, Mikey! (Andi stands up and as she does she pulls on a cord by her side. This sets off something.) Andi: Uh-oh. Mikey: What? Andi: (lets go of the cord) I think I set off another trap. (A small door pops open above their heads.) Andi: I'm sorry. Are you okay? (They lift Mikey up to the door, and he breaks through.) Brand: All right, break through. (Mikey climbs through and sees what's up there.) Brand: What's up there? Mikey: It's okay, Brand. Just give me a second. Brand: Okay. (Willy's Lair) (Mikey turns and we can see that we're in Willy's Lair. Several skeletons are all sitting at a table.)Mikey: Geez. And all these guys must've died. (sees Willy) Willy. One-Eyed Willy. Hello. I'm Mike Walsh, you've been expecting me. Haven't you? Well I made it. I bat you. I got here in once piece. So far. (He looks under Willy's eye patch.) So, that's why they call you One-Eyed Willy. One-Eyed Willy. We had a lot in common, huh Willy? You know something Willy? You were the first Goonie. (All the others show up) Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willy. One-Eyed Willy. Say hi, Willy. Those are my friends. The Goonies. How long have you guys been standing there? Brand: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough. (Everyone gazes at the gold that surrounds them.) Mikey: What are you staring at? Load up, anything you can put in your pockets. (Data reaches for a tin of gold that's hanging in a balance) Except that! Brand: Why? Mikey: That's Willy's. Save that for Willy. Anything else. (They all start to load up their pockets with jewels and gold. Mikey dumps out his marble bag.) Mikey: Bye bye marbles. (Andi puts on some gorgeous necklaces.) Andi: Oh my god. Oh my god! Stef: Hey come on, those creeps are still after us. Data: What are we gonna do about them? Brand: I don't know. I don't care. Mikey: I've got an idea. Data: What is it? Mikey: I saw this on the Hardy Boys once. We lead a trail of jewels into one cave, and then hide out in another, and when the Fratelli's go into that cave, then we can make a run for it. Mama F.: Now that sounds like a great idea! (They all turn and see the Fratelli's standing in the doorway.) Mikey: Yo! Mama F.: Outside! Data: Okay! This is wr! Mikey: Data, no! Mama F.: I said outside! Data: No! We will not be taken alive, Mikey. Mouth: We? What do you mean we? All: Data! Data! Mikey: It's not funny, Data. She's got a gn! Mama F.: Outside! Let's go! Andi: Data! (Stef comes up beside her and they check out each other's jewelry.) Andi: Oh, I love that. Stef: That's great. Mama F.: Move it! (The Deck) Data: I know what I'm doing. (He goes to stand in front of the rest of the gng like he's having a showdown. He tries to get the boxing glove to work again but it won't. Francis laughs at this.) Data: (?) Data is unhappy. (He sht out his Pinchers of Peril and they get Francis right in the crotch.) Francis: Ahhh! Data: Pinchers of Peril. Ha ha! Jake: Let me help you brother. (Data sht off a little suction cup and it hits Mama Fratelli's gn. Instead of pulling the gn from her, it pulls Data towards them and he runs into Mama Fratelli making her drop the gn into the lower part of the ship.) Mama F.: My gn! Francis: That's it! No more Mr. Nice Guy! Jake: You come with me. Mama F.: Empty your pockets! Come on! (The Goonies begin emptying all their pockets.) Mama F.: Lets go! All of it! (to Mouth) You're so quiet all of a sudden. You're the one they call Mouth, aren't you? (Mouth shakes his head 'No'. Mama Fratelli reaches over and pulls out a long pearl necklace from Mouths' mouth.) Mama F.: Oh my God! Is that all? Mouth: Mmmhmm. (nods) (Mama Fratelli smacks him on the back of the head and he spits out about 5 more jewels.) Mama F.: Oh my god! (Andi is having her wrists tied together.) Andi: You gross old witch! Mama F.: You wanna play pirates, huh? We'll play pirates. Andi: No! Mama F.: We'll play pirates. Keep going smarty. Say good bye to your little friends. Andi: I can't do it with my hands tied. Mama F.: Now walk the plank. Andi: (Mama Fratelli swings the swords at her and makes her fall into the water.) Brand! Brand: Andi! Look out! Get out of the way! (he jumps in the water to save Andi) Andi! Mama F.: Two down! Who's next? (Stef and Mouth are now being made to walk the plank together.) Stef: Hey! You're pulling my hair. Mouth: Hey you get that girl away from me. Mama F.: Go join your friends you weasels. Sloth: Hey you guys!! (Sloth sab the sail with his Knfe and he and Chunk slide down.) Mikey: Chunk! Mama F.: Sloth! How'd he get out? Chunk: Save 'em! (Chunk swings down and saves Mouth and Stef.) Chunk: Ay Sloth! Mikey: Chunk! Chunk: No, it's Captain Chunk. Francis: Ma, give me the sword. (She slams it into his hand and he jerks with pain.) Chunk: And Captain Chunk says, let's get the hell outta here. Jake: Get out of the way kids! (Sloth runs interference while all the Goonies run for it. They all run on the plank and jump into the water. Stef punches Mama Fratelli. Jake gets a piece of rope and tosses one end to Francis.) Jake: Francis, the rope here. Go, go! Francis: Slothney! Slothney! Jump rope, Slothney! Jake: What do you mean jump rope? Francis: (duh) Jump rope. Jake: (gets it) Jump rope. Both: Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posies (They run towards and under each other so that now the rope is wrapped around Sloth's waist. Sloth grabs each end of the rope and swings them back to where they were so that he's free again. He rips open his shirt to reveal a Superman shirt underneath.) Sloth: (points to the shirt) Sloth. Jake: We're in deep shit now, Francis. Francis: Oh, shit. (Sloth looks at both of them deciding who to bat up first.) Jake: Sloth, remember the time we went to the Bronx Zoo? Francis: Don't start that. Jake: He and mama wanted to leave you there. Who spoke up for you? Francis: We never been to the Bronx Zoo. Jake: Remember the time we were gonna get your teeth fixed and we spent the money on Francis's toupee? Francis: I don't wear a hair piece. (Francis runs at Jake and they start fighting.) Jake: You rotten bastard. You lying (Sloth grabs them and knocks their heads together, knocking them out cold.) (Lagoon) (Brand saves Andi.) Brand: Here, grab the rock. (Before he unties her wrists he puts her arms over her head and they kiss.) Andi: Brand, what happened to your braces? Brand: I don't wear braces. Mikey wears Mikey, that little Andi: Shhhh. (she kisses him again) (The Inferno - Deck) (Sloth has tied up Jake and Francis. He then lifts them up so they they're hang above the deck. He ties the rope off so that they won't fall.) Sloth: Hey you guys!! (laughs) Mama. Mama F.: Come to Mama, baby, come on. Sloth: Ma, you been bad. Mama F: Oh, Slothney. I may have been bad. I may have kept you chained in the room. But it was for your good. Oh, don't you remember when I used to sing to you? When you were a little boy? Sloth: (laughs) Mama F: (sings) Rock a bye baby, on the tree top. When the wind blows your cradle will bob. When the bow breaks the cradle will fall Sloth: Ahhh.breakfall. (gestures to his face.)Mama F: Oh, I only dropped you once. Sloth: Ahh! Mama F: Well maybe twice. Sloth: Ahhh! (He picks up Mama Fratelli over his head.) Mama F: Put me down! Sloth, put me down! (Sloth drops her over the side of the boat into the Lagoon) (All the Goonies cheer.) Francis: It's gonna be okay. We're gonna be all right. (Sloth jumps into the Lagoon.) Francis: Get the rope. Jake: I don't wanna. Francis: Calm down. Calm down! (Mama Fratelli climbs back into the boat.) (Lagoon) Chunk: Sloth, this is the guys. Guys, this is Sloth. All: Hi. Hello. Mikey: Brand, we can't go. We can't leave all that gold. That's our future. Brand: No, Mikey, we stay here we got no future. We'll come back for it later. Mikey: Oh, all that rich stuff. Brand: Come on! (grabs Mikey) (The Inferno - Deck) Jake: Mama! Just let us down easy, Ma. (Mama Fratelli is cutting the rope with a sword.) Francis: Not the sword! Don't do that! (The rope breaks and they fall.) Jake: You all right? Francis: Yeah. You? Jake: Yeah. (They go back to fighting.) Mama F: Will you get up! Let's go find the gold! (Lagoon) (They spot an opening in the cave.) Brand: That's it! A light! Andi: You guys it's a way out! (The Inferno - Willy's Lair)Mama F: Thank you, Mr. Willy. Thank you. You've made my day. This is a real treat. (She reaches over and lifts the tray of gold that, earlier, Mikey told Data not to touch. It sets off a booby trap.) Jake: What the hell is that? Mama F: Another one of those Mama F & Francis: Booby traps!! Francis: Let's get outta here! Jake: What booby trap?! What booby trap?! Francis: Booby trap. Didn't you see the movie? (Lagoon) (They have made their way over to the opening in the cave.) Brand: Look you guys, daylight. There's been a cave in here before. Maybe we can get through. I can't see through the side though. (to Data) You got a light? Data: I got that last candle. Mikey get it. Brand: Okay, hurry up. Chunk: Is there a way out or what? Andi: Is there an opening or not? (They light the "candle".) Data: Hey, this is a funny candle. It's sparkling. Brand: It's not a candleit's All: Dynamite!!! (They all run and duck under the water as the TNT explodes. It explodes and closes up the small opening.) (The Inferno - Deck) (Jake and Francis jump from the ship.) Mama F: Women and children first! (She jumps.) (The explsin has started a sort of cave in. There are all kinds of rocks falling into the Lagoon and onto the boat.) (Lagoon) (Mikey and Brand are trying to move a big boulder that is now blocking the opening.) Mikey: Brand, what about the loot? Brand: What about our lives? (Mikey goes back to helping.) (Sloth comes up and is able to lift the boulder using his back.) Brand: Okay, hurry up. (The group begins to crawl out through the small opening.) Sloth: Go! Brand: Go! Hurry up! Are you all right! (Mikey, Stef, and Andi go through) (Mama Fratelli, Jake, and Francis are all swimming in their direction.) Mama F: Sloth! Help us! (Data, Mouth, and Brand, crawl through. Chunk is the only one left.) Sloth: Ma! Chunk: Sloth, come on! Sloth: Ah, I love you Chunk. Chunk: I love you too. You're gonna get crushed. (He goes.) Mama F: Sloth! Sloth: Ma! (He lowers the rock to go and help her.) Chunk: (in small tunnel) Sloth! No! No! He's alive! (Brand drags him out into the open.) Brand: Let's go. Come on! (The 'booby trap' is actually pulling up the ship's anchor. The dynamite has created a large opening in the cave so that the ship might be able to get out.) (Beach) (Two cops are searching the beach. They see the Goonies.) Cop 1: Well I'll be damned. It's them Goobers. Cop 2: They weren't here a minute ago. Cop 1: But they're here now, Dan. Call Harvey. Cop 2: Yes, sir. (Later) (All the parents are arriving.) Mrs. Walsh: Where are my boys? Mr. Walsh: There they are. Mrs. Walsh: Brandon! Mr. Walsh: Mikey! Mikey: Hi Mom. Hi Dad. I guess we're kinda in deep sh Mrs. Walsh: (hugs him) Oh, Michael. Look at you. You're a mess. (Mr. Walsh hugs Brand.) Chunk's Dad: Hey! (hugs Chunk) Stef: Mom! Mouth: Daddy! (both parents hug him) Chunk's Dad: Look what we brought you! (shows Chunk the pizza) Chunk: Oh! Pizza! Edie! (kisses his sister) Chunk's Mom: Domino's Pizza. Your favorite. Chunk: Oh, my favorite. (kisses Mom) Mouth: And we were underground in this tunnel and it was so neat. Stef: I lost my glasses. Stef's Dad: Okay, okay. Andi: Can I take piano lessons? (Andi's mother nods.) (Mrs. Walsh is trying to get Mikey into some dry clothes.) Data's Dad: Hold it right there. (He backs up and opens his coat to reveal a camera attached.) Data: That's great, Dad! Andi: (to her parents) Just watch this. (Data's dad takes a picture but the back of the camera opens up and the film falls out.) Data: Come here Daddy. Andi: He's just like his father. Data: (translation) That's okay Daddy. You can't hug a photograph. Data's Dad: (translation) You are my best invention. (they hug) Mouth: (to Stef) I just wanted to say thank you, for offering to save my life. (This line applies to a scene that got cut.) Stef: What, what? Mouth: Well, I wanted to say thank you. Stef: Wow, thank you. A real moment. You know your voice is kinda nice when your mouth isn't screwing it up. Mouth: Thanks. And you know your looks are kind of pretty when your face doesn't screw it up. (They hug.) Andi: Hey, Mikey. Hey, you know, you're a great little kidahperson. And you know, you keep kissing girls the way you do, and the parts of you that don't work so goodthey're gonna catch up to the ones that do. (she kisses Mikey on the cheek) (Andi walks over to Brand and they kiss.) Mr. Walsh: What Mrs. Walsh: Let her mother worry. (Mikey goes to take a puff on his aspirator but he sees Brand and Andi kissing.) Mikey: Ahwho needs it. (He tosses the aspirator over his shoulder.) (The sheriff spots the Fratelli's coming up the beach.) Sheriff: It's the Fratelli's. (All the cops run over to where they are.) Francis: Here we are, Officer. Jake: We need your help. Sheriff: All right, you're all under arrest. Let's go! Chunk: Hey! Don't sht him! (He runs over and stands in front of Sloth with his pizza box.) Don't sht him! Sheriff: You don't know what you're doing. Get them outta here! (All the Goonies run over to stand in front of Sloth.) Chunk: (points to the other Fratelli's) These are the bad guys! Those are the bad guys! Francis: Ma! (Sloth picks up a cop with one arm.) Chunk: No. Put him down. It will be all right. Data: (translation) Wow! (The rest of what Data said here is not translated and I don't speak Japanese.) (Sloth puts the man down. The cops escort the Fratelli's away.) Francis: Do you know who I am? Do you want to lose your job? Chunk: Sloth. You're gonna live with me now. Sloth: Ah? Chunk: Yeah. I'm gonna take care of ya. Cause I love ya. (they hug) Sloth: Oh, I love you, Chunk. Chunk: I love you, Sloth. (Mr. Perkins and Troy arrive.) Perkins: All right, Walsh. Today's the day. So lets get this over with. Mrs. Walsh: Irving. Mr. Walsh: I'm sorry, Irene. Troy: Come on, Walsh. We don't have all day. There's 50 more houses to tear down after yours. (Brand lunges for Troy but they manage to hold him back. Troy meanwhile cowers behind his father.) Data: It's okay, Brand. Perkins: Sheriff, I want you to witness this. Mikey: Sorry Dad. We had our hands on the future, but we blew it to save our own lives. Sorry. Mr. Walsh: That's all right. You and Brand are home safe with your mom and me. That makes us the richest people in Astoria. Perkins: Walsh. You're looking at the richest people in Astoria. Now sign it. Data: I'm sure gonna miss being a Goonie. (As Mr. Walsh is about to sign the papers Rosilita pulls Mikey's marble bag out of his jacket. She looks inside and gasps.) Rosilita: (spanish) Brand: What's she saying, Mouth? What's she saying? Mouth: Nono penno write Rosilita: (spanish) Mouth: No sign! No sign! (He grabs the pen from Mr. Walsh) Perkins: How dare you Mouth: No sign! Rosilita: (spanish) Brand: What's in the bag? (Rosilita runs over an dumps the contents of the bag into Mrs. Walsh's hand. It's rubies, emeralds, and diamonds.) Goonies: Wow! Mikey: Dad! Dad, it's my marble bag. The Fratelli's forgot to check it. See, I emptied the marbles out and I put the jewels in. We don't have to leave the Goondocks. (Mr. Walsh tears up the papers) Mr. Walsh: Oh, they'll be no more signing today or ever again. (Everyone cheers.) (Some news vans show up.) Reporter 1: Are those jewels real? How did you find them? Reporter 2: What happened out there? Were your lives in danger? Data: The octopus was very scary. (Applies to a scene that got cut.) Reporter 1: Octopus? Data: It was very dangerous. Andi: The scariest thing was walking the plank. Reporter 1: Walking the plank? Brand: And then we found the pirate ship Chunk: Yeah see and that had the pirate treasure on it, and we were getting chased by the Fratelli's Sheriff: All right fellas, that's enough. Telling more stories, Lawrence? Chunk: Oh no, this time it's for real. Sheriff: (looks up) Holy Mary mother of God! Look at that! (They all turn and see The Inferno sailing out in open waters.) Mouth: Oh my god! Reporter 1: Ladies and Gentlemen we're at Cauldron Point, and what appears to be a pirate ship (The Goonies and Sloth all go over to sit on a nearby rock and watch The Inferno sail away.) Mikey: Bye Willy. (waves) Sloth: Ahh! Goonies: Ahhhh!! (The Inferno sails off into the sunset.) (END)	{"type": "movie", "show": "Goonies, The (1985)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Narrator: On Christmas Eve, many years ago, I lay quietly in my bed. I did not rustle the sheets. I breathed slowly and silently. I was listening for a sound I was afraid I'd never hear. The ringing bells of Santa's sleigh. [SIZZLES] [GASPS] [JINGLING] [CLANGING] [JINGLING] Dad: All right. All right, Sarah. You had your water. Now let's get you upstairs and into bed. Sarah: But... But... But, I have to... He said Santa would have to fly faster than the speed of light to get to every house in one night. And to hold everyone's presents his sled would be bigger than an ocean liner. Dad: Your brother said that? He was just kidding you. He knows there's a Santa. Sarah: He said he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if Santa was for real. Dad: Of course Santa's for real. He's as real as Christmas itself. Mom: But he won't come until you're sound asleep, young lady. Sweet dreams. Dad: Santa will be here before you know it. So go to sleep. [The bells jingled and Dad heads to bed.] Hero Boy: Hmm... Mm-hm. "Stark, barren. Devoid of life." Dad: He's gotta be asleep by now. Mom: He used to stay awake all night waiting for Santa. Dad: Think those days are just about over. Mom: That would be sad if that were true. Dad: Yeah, an end of the magic. Mom: Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Dad: See, he's out like a light. An express train wouldn't wake him up now. Hero Boy: [thinking] "End of the magic"? [The ticking of the clock continues until it stops. There was a rumble and grumble around the house and an unexpected whistle blwing and chugging of a passenger train hits the brakes and idles next to the Hero Boy's house.] Conductor: All aboard! All aboard! Well? You coming? Hero Boy: Where? Conductor: Why, to the North Pole, of course. This is the Polar Express. Hero Boy: The North Pole? I see. Conductor: Hold this, please. Thank you. Is this you? Hero Boy: Yeah. Conductor: Well, it says here, no photo with a department-store Santa this year, no letter to Santa. And you made your sister put out the milk and cookies. Mm-mm. Sounds to me like this is your crucial year. If I were you, I would think about climbing onboard. Come on, come on, come on. I've got a schedule to keep... Oh. Suit yourself. [The Polar Express blows its whistle and the conductor clears his throat and the Hero Boy embarks on the train.] Kids: singing* 'Cause that's the way things happen on the Polar Express! Whoo, whoo, the whistle blows That's the sound of her singing. Ding, ding, the bell will ring, Golly, look at her go! You wonder if we'll get there soon Anybody's guess 'Cause that's the way things happen On the Polar Express! When we get there, We'll scream, "Yay!" We'll arrive with a bang, bang, bang, Boom, boom, boom, Laughing all the way. With a comfy seat and lots to eat. Boy, it's just the best. Wish it wouldn't ever have to end. With a little luck, we'll be on time. There's no need to stress. 'Cause that's the way things happen On the Polar Express Know-it-All: Hey. Hey, you. Yeah, you. Do you know what kind of train this is? Hero Boy: Huh? Know-it-All: Train. Do you know what kind of train this is? Well, do you? Hero Boy: Uh... Hero Girl: Of course. It's a magic train. We're going to the North Pole. Know-it-All: I know it's a magic train. Actually it's a Baldwin 2-8-4 S3-class steam locomotive built in 1931 at the Baldwin Locomotive Works. It weighs 456,100 pounds and... (for the USA)/LNER 4-6-2 A3-class steam locomotive built in 1922 Doncaster Works to a design of Nigel Gresley. It weighs 180 pounds... Hero Boy: Are we really going to the North Pole? Know-it-All: Hey, look, everybody! Kids:Mm-hm. Isn't that wonderful? Herpolsheimer's! Herpolsheimer's! cheering Wow, look at all those presents. I want all of them. It's so Christmassy and cozy and beautiful! Conductor: Tickets. Tickets, please. Tickets. Ticket, please. Try your pocket. Try your other pocket. Thank you, sir. Kid: Hey, watch out, there. Conductor: Thank you, sir. Uh-uh-uh. That is a public-address microphone. It is not a toy. Know-it-All: Boy, that guy sure likes to show off. Look what that wise guy punched on my ticket. Hero Boy: "L-E." What the heck does that mean? Conductor: Next stop, 11344 Edbrooke. We're heading for the other side of the tracks. [Outside, the conductor visited Billy] Well? You coming? Ah, it's just another pickup. That's weird. I thought you were supposed to be the last one. Conductor: Why, to the North Pole, of course. This is the Polar Express. Suit yourself. [The Polar Express' whistle blows] Hero Boy: Hey, that kid wants to get on the train. Come on! Hurry up! We have to stop the train. Hero Girl: I don't know how. Know-it-All: Pull the emergency brake! [The train stopped and the kids are groaning.] Conductor: Who in the blazes applied that emergency brake?! Know-it-All: He did. Conductor: You. In case you didn't know, that cord is for emergency purposes only. And in case you weren't aware, tonight waves at engineers is Christmas Eve. And in case you hadn't noticed, this train is on a very tight schedule. Now, young man, Christmas may not be important to some people but it is very important to the rest of us! Hero Boy: But... But... Hero Girl: He was just trying to stop the train so that kid could get on. Conductor: Hmm. I see. Young man, is that what happened? [The Hero Boy took it a yes.] Conductor: Well... Let me remind you we are on a very tight schedule. And I've never been late before and I am certainly not going to be late tonight. Now, everybody, take your seats, please! Thank you. [The Polar Express resumes its journey again] Conductor: on the mic Your attention, please. Are there any Polar Express passengers in need of refreshment? Kids: Me! Me! Me! Conductor: on the mic I thought so. [The waiters enter the passenger car, tap dancing] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Oh, we got it Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Hey, we got it Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Say, we got it Waiters: Hot chocolate Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Oh, we got it Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: So we got it Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Yo, we got it Waiters: Hot chocolate Conductor: Here we've only got one rule Never, ever let it cool Keep it cooking in the pot Then you got... Waiters: ...Hot chocolate! Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Oh, we got it Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Hey, we got it Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Say, we got it Waiters: Hot chocolate Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Oh, we got it Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: So we got it Waiters: Hot, hot Conductor: Yo, we got it Waiters: Hot chocolate Conductor: Here we only got one rule Waiters: Here we only got one rule Conductor:Never, ever let it cool Waiters: Never, ever let it cool. Keep it cooking in the pot. Conductor: Soon you got hot chocolate. Conductor: Hot, hot. Waiters: Hey, we got it. Conductor: Hot, hot Waiters: Oh, we got it Conductor: Hot, hot Waiters: Yeah, we got it Conductor: Hot, hot Waiters: Oh, we got it Conductor: Hot, hot Waiters: Yeah, we got it Conductor: Hot, hot Waiters: Oh, we got it Conductor: Hot, hot Waiters: Yeah, we got it ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [The waiters wrapped up everything and turns back the chairs the way it was and the conductor shuts the sliding door. End of Hot Chocolate.] [All the kids chattering as they were relieved with hot chocolate.] Know-it-All: You know, Montezuma, the king of the Aztecs would drink 50 quarts of hot chocolate every day. It was thick as mud and red. He put chili pepper in instead of sugar. Get it? Hot chocolate? Kid: How do you know? That's not true. Hero Boy: Where you going with that? Hero Girl: It's for him. - I don't think we're to leave our seats. - It's a violation of safety regulations... ...for a kid to cross moving cars without a grown-up. I think I'll be okay. Are you sure? [FOOTSTEPS] Conductor: What about this lad in the back? Did he get any refreshment? Hero Boy: Uh-uh. Conductor: Well, let's take some to him, by all means. Watch your step, now. Watch your step. Hero Boy: Uh-oh. She forgot her ticket. It hasn't been punched. Know-it-All: Hey, what are you doing? You're gonna get us all in trouble! [WOLF HOWLING] [BIRD SPITS] CONDUCTOR: Young lady, forgive me. I believe I have neglected to punch your ticket. May I? I left my ticket right here on the seat. - But it's gone. - You mean... ...you have lost your ticket. She didn't lose her ticket. I did. I was trying to return it to you. But the wind blew it out of my hand. [SIGHS] You can have my ticket. [CONDUCTOR YELLS] These tickets are not transferable. Young lady... ...you will just have to come along with me. You know what's gonna happen now? He's gonna throw her off the train. Yeah, he's gonna probably throw her right off the rear platform. Standard procedure. That way, she won't get sucked under the wheels. They may slow the train down, but they're never gonna stop it. Stop it? That's it! I have to stop the train again. Know-it-All: No, please, don't do that again. HERO BOY: Where'd they go? What happened to them? Please, she's in big trouble. You have to help me. Hey! Hey! I found your ticket! Wait! Hey! Wait! I have your ticket! [MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY] Is there something I can do for you? I'm looking for a girl. A gi...? [LAUGHING] Ain't we all? I have her ticket. Well, lookie. Lookie here. What is this? This is an official, authentic, genuine ticket to ride. Oh, you better keep this in a safe place, young man. If I was you... I keep all my valuables right here. Right here in the old size 13. Experience shows this is the safest place. Not that I have much use for those. Tickets. I ride for free. Oh, yeah, yeah. I hop aboard this rattler any time I feels like it. I own this train. Oh, yeah. It's like I'm the king of this train. Yeah. The king of the Pol Ex. In fact, I am the king of the North Pole! Oh, where's my manners? Sit, sit. Sit. Take a load off. Hey, would you like some Joe? Nice hot refreshment. Perfect for a cold winter's night. [COUGHING] There. Bless you. What about Santa? - Santa? - Isn't he the king of the North Pole? You mean this guy? Huh? Ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho. What exactly is your persuasion on the big man? Since you brought him up. Well, I... I want to believe. - But... - But you don't wanna be bamboozled. You don't wanna be led down the primrose path. You don't wanna be conned or duped, have the wool pulled over your eyes. Hoodwinked. You don't wanna be taken for a ride, railroaded. Seeing is believing. Am I right? But what about this train? What about it? We're all really going to the North Pole... ...aren't we? Aren't we? Are you saying that this is all just a dream? You said it, kid. Not me. Ah. So let's go find that girl. One other thing. Do you believe in ghosts? Interesting. HERO BOY: Wait. Wait! Wait! I have to wake up. Yeah. I have to wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! Wake up, wake up. Wake up, wake up! [WHISTLE BLOWS] HOBO: Kid! Kid, get your head out of the clouds! Wake up, kid! There's no sleepwalking on the Polar Express. We gotta jump them knuckles. Come on, kid. Flip my shoulders. Grab my lily. [GRUNTS] That skirt you're chasing must have moved on ahead. - We gotta hightail it to the hog, pronto. - To the hog? The engine. The engine, you tenderfoot. We gotta make the engine before we ht Flat Top Tunnel. How come? So many questions. There is but one inch of clearance between the roof of this rattler... ...and the roof of Flat Top Tunnel. Savvy? It's just the run up to the hump, kid. This will be interesting. [GRUNTING] Get back on, kid. Hurry! Grab my muck stick. [SCREAMING] There's only one trick to this, kid. When I say "jump"... ...you jump! Ah! You. I thought you got thrown off, and... - You're driving the train? - They put me in charge. - The engineer had to check the light. ENGINEER: Here's the light. Careful. All right, now. - Oh! - Oh! I got it. [SCREAMING] - How do you know how? - It's easy. Come here, I'll show you. This big lever here, that's the throttle. This little one here, that's the brake. And those are the pressure gauges. And that rope is the whistle. - The whistle. - Mm-hm. You wanna try it? [WHISTLE BLOWS] I've wanted to do that my whole life. [WHISTLE BLOWS] [SCREAMING] Hold still! Hold still! Don't move! Look! [SCREAMING] Stop the train! Stop the train! Stop the train! What? They want us to stop the train. [GASPS] - Which one is the brake? - He told me this was. - Who? - The engineer. - The engineer? This one looks like a brake. - No, he said this was the brake. Are you sure? - Uh... - Are you sure? ENGINEER: Pull the brake! Stop the train! [SCREAMING] Caribou? - Ugh. Conductor: There could BE no Christmas without the Polar Express arriving on time. Am I the only one who understands that? YOU! I should have known. Young man, are you bound and determined that this train never reaches the North Pole? Hero Girl: But look. Conductor: CARIBOU CROSSING?!!!?!! ENGINEER: I make that herd to be at least 100,000, maybe even a million. It's gonna be hours before they clear this track. - A tough nut to crack. Conductor: We are in some serious jelly. - And a jam. - Tight spot. - Up a creek. - Up a tree. - Lost in the grass. - I'll tell you what's grass: Our a... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW WWWWWWWUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [CARIBOU WHINES] Conductor pulls the engineer's beard OHROUGH! HROUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEHHH!!! [WHINES] Conductor pulls the engineer's beard again* ORGH, OURGH! HHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [WHINES] Conductor: Problem solved. All ahead, slow. [GRUNTS] Hero Boy: We're going pretty fast. Conductor: Tell the engineer to slow down. Hero Girl: Slow it down. Watch the speed! Ah! Jumping jeepers, the cotter pin sheared off. - What? - The pin. - Where? - There. - Oh, no. - Oh, no. - They can't hear me. Conductor: They can't? Oh... I don't like the look of this. Quick, under the safety bar. Is everything all right? What should we do? Considering we've lost communication with the engineer... ...we are standing totally exposed on the front of the locomotive... ...the train appears to be accelerating uncontrollably... ...and we are rapidly approaching Glacier Gulch... ...which just happens to be the steepest downhill grade in the world... ...I suggest we all hold on... ...tightly! All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! - The pin! - The pin! [GRUNTING] Shiver me Christmas, the ice has frozen over the tracks. Hold on. Hold on. No, no. Come on. Watch your step. Come on, sweetie. Up you go. Up you go. - Shh. - Put your feet on here. On here. Conductor: Little adventure, huh? Young man, quick thinking on your part. Step to your left, please. To your left. Oh! Well, that is more like it. What in the name of Mike? [CRACKING] Look. Get us the blazes out of here! Turn this sled around. Look there. Tracks. dad ahead. Right. Left. Right. Hang a Louie. Toss over cheese. Port astern. To the starboard. HERO BOY: My slipper. - You're gonna lose your ticket. It's not my ticket, it's yours. - It's my ticket? - Yes. Right. Keep up with me. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. - Oh, no! - Oh, no! Brace yourselves! Well, that's more like it. Thank you. Thank you. I can't believe you found my ticket. Did someone say they found a ticket? Well, in that case... Tickets, please. [COUGHS] Thank you. HERO GIRL: "L-E"? - Hey, just like that know-it-all kid. Conductor: Watch your step. Tricky walking up here. It's mighty slick. Mighty slick, I tell you. Oh, whoop... There you go. What did I tell you? Years ago, on my first Christmas Eve run, I was up on the roof making my rounds... ...when I slipped on the ice myself. I reached out for a hand iron, but it broke off. I slid and fell. And yet, I did not fall off this train. Someone saved you? Or something. An angel. Maybe. Wait. Wait. What did he look like? Did you see him? No, sir. But sometimes seeing is believing. And sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see. Ah, the forsaken and the abandoned. Mind your step, now. These poor toys have suffered enough... ...being left to rust and decay in the back alleys and vacant lots of the world. What are they doing here? It's a new concept the boss came up with. Instead of being thrown away, they're collected. Refurbished. He calls it "rebicycling. " Something like that. HERO GIRL: Makes me wanna cry... ...seeing toys that were treated this way. Conductor: These hopelessly entangled... ...string puppets and marionettes... ...pose a particular problem. We found the nimble fingers of our work force... ...here at the North Pole are best for working out those knots and tangles. Thank you. Uh-oh. Double-locked here. You are just like me, my friend. - A scrooge! - Ah! Ebenezer Scrooge. North Pole, Santa Claus, this train... ...it's all a bunch of humbug. A bout of indigestion. Oh, yeah. I know what you are. You're a doubter. A doubter. You don't believe! You're a doubter! You don't believe! [KIDS LAUGHING AND CHATTERING] Hey, you missed it. We rode down some really sharp hills. We were on what looked like a frozen lake. But I know it was just an optical illusion caused by moonlight. He said the train was on ice. But I said that's impossible... You can't put a train track... Hey, where you going now? [INDISTINCT SINGING] Shh. LONELY BOY [SINGING]: I'm wishing on a star And trying to believe That even though it's far He'll find me Christmas Eve I guess that Santa's busy 'Cause he's never come around I think of him When Christmas comes to town The best time of the year When everyone comes home With all this Christmas cheer It's hard to be alone Putting up the Christmas tree With friends who come around It's so much fun When Christmas comes to town Presents for the children Wrapped in red and green All the things I've heard about But never really seen No one will be sleeping On the night of Christmas Eve Hoping Santa's on his way When Santa's sleighbells ring I listen all around The herald angels sing I never hear a sound And all the dreams of children Once lost will all be found That's all I want When Christmas comes to town That's all I want When Christmas comes to town Hero Girl: Look. Hero Boy: The northern lights. CONDUCTOR: Hey. You three. We just crossed it. Latitude 66°33'. The Arctic Circle. And do you see? Those lights in the distance. They look like the lights of a strange ocean liner sailing on a frozen sea. There... ...is the North Pole. Kids: It's a magic carpet on a rail It never takes a rest Flying through The mountains and the snow You can ride for free and join the fun If you just say yes 'Cause that's the way things happen On the Polar Express Whoo, whoo, the whistle blows That's the sound of her singing Ding, ding, the bell will ring Golly, look at her go You wonder if you'll get there soon Anybody's guess 'Cause that's the way things happen On the Polar Express When we get there We'll scream, "Yay!" We'll arrive with A bang, bang, bang Boom, boom, boom Laughing all the way CONDUCTOR: We made it. With five minutes to spare. We made it. [LAUGHING] [SOBS] HERO GIRL: There should be elves. Where are the elves? Kid: Yeah, where are the elves? CONDUCTOR: They are gathering in the center of the city. That is where Santa will give the first gift of Christmas. Who gets the first gift of Christmas? He will choose one of you. - Look. - Elves! [MARCHING FOOTSTEPS] CONDUCTOR: All right. All right, ladies and gentlemen. Two columns, if you please. Shorter in the front, taller in the rear. Even-numbered birthdays on the right, odd-numbered on the left. No pushing. No pushing. But let's not dilly-dally. It's five minutes to midnight. Hey, what gives? It was five minutes till midnight four minutes ago. Exactly. Columns of two. - One, two. HERO GIRL: Excuse me. - Question. - What about him? No one is required to see Santa. Ladies and gentlemen, you do not have to hold hands... - Come on. ... but please remain in your columns... ...while we are in transit. - Look, you have to come with us. - She's right. Christmas just doesn't work out for me. Never has. But Christmas is such a wonderful, beautiful time. It's a time for giving and being thankful, for friends and family. People hang decorations and lights. Santa leaves presents under our Christmas trees. Christmas just... ...doesn't work out for me. Look, I don't know if Christmas is gonna work out for you or not... ...but this is Christmas Eve. Don't stay here by yourself. HERO GIRL: Yes, come with us. We'll go together. [CREAKING] HERO GIRL: Oh, no. HERO BOY: Uh-oh. HERO BOY: We're gonna be okay. [BUZZING] Maybe not! The emergency brake. The emergency brake. There's no brake. I can't find the brake! HOBO: Take a break, kid. How about a nice, good hot cup of Joe? [SCREAMING] HERO GIRL: We're gonna crash! [GRUNTING] We're spinning. ["WINTER WONDERLAND" PLAYS ON RECORD PLAYER] Shh. You hear that? The bell. HERO BOY: What bell? - The sleighbell. - Sleighbell? - Don't you hear it? It's coming from that tunnel. That's the way we should go. Come on. Oh. [SONG SKIPPING AND REPEATING] What? - What? - Come on. ["SILVER BELLS" PLAYS ON RECORD PLAYER] Come on. HERO BOY: We're lost. HERO GIRL: Yes. - Yes. I hear it. LONELY BOY: I hear it too. - I don't hear anything. - Okay, it's down this way. Are you sure? Absolutely. - Why can't I hear anything? - Shh. Get down and be quiet. [PHONE RINGING] ELF: Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. Well, that was the wrapping hall, chief. - Just finished the last one. ELF GENERAL: How's it wrapped? ELF: It's wrapped in candy-striped red with a number-seven holly-green bow. ELF GENERAL: A number-seven bow? When we're this close to liftoff? What are they thinking down there? Are they meshuggener? - What's the routing? - Going to the States. Grand Rapids, Michigan. [GASPS] That's my town. I'm from Grand Rapids. [ALARM BUZZING] ELF GENERAL: We got a troublemaker now. Just what we need. Things aren't bad enough. What's his 20? Apparently, some kid from Maplewood, New Jersey... ...stuck some gum in his sister's hair. ELF GENERAL: New Jersey? Is that the same kid that put the tack... ...underneath his teacher's chair last year? - No, sir. This kid's name is Steven. - Steven. So, what do we do, chief? Alert the big man? We talking nothing for Christmas here? I didn't do it. I didn't do it. ELF GENERAL: Look, it's... It's almost Christmas, huh? We'll cut the kid a break. But put him on the check-twice list for next year. All right, boys. Let's shut it down, all right. That's it for this year. Come on. - Hey, boss, are we taking the pneumatic? - Of course we're taking the pneumatic. It's the only way to get to the square on time. - Let's go. ELF GENERAL: And time is money. Ready, and mount. Good. Close. HERO GIRL: All right, get in. HERO BOY: I don't know about this. HERO GIRL: I don't hear it. Do you? Lonley Boy: No. HERO BOY: I think we should follow those arrows. I thought there'd be a way out. HERO GIRL: We're gonna miss everything. [BUZZING] HERO BOY: Hey, look. A present. It's going to my town. To someone named Billy. - My name is Billy. - It's going to 11344 Edbrooke Avenue. That's my address. Come on. [SCREAMING] [SCREAMING] Look. It says, "Merry Christmas, Billy. From Mr. C." I think I know what it is. I wanted one of these my whole life. Wait, wait. Stop. Look. LONELY BOY: But I... Those are the rules. [CREAKING] [CREAKING STOPS] [CREAKING] Ah! Something's got me. It's got my leg. HERO GIRL: I can't hold him. Give me your other hand. Give me your other hand. - I can't. - On three. One, two, three. - Look. - It's still got me. On three again. One, two, three. - You. - You. - What are you doing here? - Same as you. Checking out my presents. Making sure I'm getting everything on my list. All I found was one present. All it had was stupid underwear. Look. ELF [ON SPEAKER]: You may start your descent any time now. At your convenience, of course. It's still five to. I think we're gonna make it. Of course we will. It's been five to for the last hour. We got plenty of time. We got nothing but time. We got time to kll. HERO BOY: You know what? I don't think we're gonna make it. I may be just an old railroader... ...and know nothing about lighter-than-air craft... ...but from my layman's perspective, you need more altitude! CROWD: More altitude! ELF [ON SPEAKER]: Altitude, please. A bit more altitude, please. ELVES: Geronimo! [CHEERING] The Flying Elves. They are specialists. Do not try that at home, kids. Do not try that at home. We're not gonna make it. [CROWD GASPS] [HORN blwing] [SCREAMING] [CHEERING] A well-oiled machine. Whew. All right, you stowaways. - Party's over. - I was just following them. We fell in here by mistake. ELF 1: Ah, forget about it. We knew you was in there the whole time. Come on, out you go. ELF 2: Let's go, come on. Step up, step up. There we go. Not a problem. Come on. Watch your step. There you go. So nobody gets hurt, here's how we're gonna get you guys down. - This is simple. Why, I know... - What do you know? You're not supposed to be here in the first place. But since it's Christmas, I'm gonna let you slide. Hey. Ow. CONDUCTOR: Been looking for you. [ELVES LAUGHING] ELF 1: There you go. Watch your step. Careful. ELF 3: Beautiful form. Beautiful. Nice to see you again. Cutting it kind of close, aren't we? - I'll take care of this. - Uh-uh. It's in good hands. Trust me. [CHEERING] ELVES [SINGING]: It's the spirit of the season You can feel it in the air You can hear it if you listen Everywhere So much care Like a prayer Whatever it is You need to share it It's the spirit of the season [HORNS PLAY] It's the spirit of the season You can feel it in the air Aren't those bells the most beautiful sound? [SINGING "SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN"] [CHEERING] ["SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] He's here! He's here! Where? I see him. He's over there. I can't see him. I can't see him. I can't see him! [HOOVES CLATTERING] [MUSIC PLAYS IN SLOW MOTION] [BELL DOESN'T RING] VOICE: Doubter. Doubter. Okay. Okay. I believe. I believe. [WHISPERS] I believe. [BELL RINGS] What was that you said? I... I believe. I believe. I... I believe that this is yours. Well... Thank you. KNOW-IT-ALL: Me, me. Pick me, Santa. HERO GIRL: What are you doing? Stop it. KNOW-IT-ALL: Pick me, pick me. I want the first gift. HERO GIRL: Hush. Young man... ...patience. And a smidgen of humility might also serve you well. Yes, sir. And you, young lady... A lady of decision. Full of confidence and spirit. Christmas spirit. Ho-ho-ho. Keep up the good work. Thank you. And Billy. It is Billy? I see you've made some new friends. Yes, sir. I sure have. That's a lucky lad. There's no greater gift than friendship. And speaking of gifts... ...let's have this young fellow right here. [CHEERING] Now... ...what would you like for Christmas? Me. You. [INAUDIBLE WHISPERING] Yes. Indeed. Hm. Yes, indeed. The first gift of Christmas! [CHEERING] This bell is a wonderful symbol of the spirit of Christmas... ...as am I. [LAUGHS] Just remember... ...the true spirit of Christmas... ...lies in your heart. [BELLS RINGING] Merry Christmas. Better keep that in a safe place. Oh. KNOW-IT-ALL: Hey, hey. Man alive, are you lucky. Ho-ho-ho. Pull, Comet. Pull, boy! Prancer, that's a girl. Good boy, Donder. Oh, ho-ho-ho. Now, Dasher. Now, Prancer and Vixen. It's everything I dreamed it would be. Could all...? Could all this be nothing but a dream? No. SANTA: To the top of the roof To the top of the wall Now, dash away, dash away Dash away all [JINGLING] [CHEERING] All aboard! Elf Singer: One, two. One, two, three, go. Rockin ' on top of the world Rockin ' on top of the world The place is hoppin ' There ain't no stoppin ' Rockin ' on top of the world Lift your spirits, swing that girl Rockin ' on top of the world Tonight, yeah Come on, shorty! Conductor: Show your tickets. Have your tickets ready. Remember to eat the five basic food groups. Ticket, please. And please brush after every meal. [GROANING] Conductor: Remember to duck and cover. All right, you. Ticket, please. KNOW-IT-ALL: "Lean." Whatever that's supposed to mean. Conductor: "Lean" is spelled with four letters. I believed I punched five. KNOW-IT-ALL: Hey, are you saying I don't know how to...? Oh, I'm sorry. It says "learn." My mistake. Conductor: Lesson learned. Ticket. Conductor: That is some special ticket. Sure is. So can you count on us to get you home safe and sound? Absolutely. Me... ...and my friends. Ticket. It says "lead. " Like "lead balloon. " I believe it also is pronounced "lead. " As in "leader," "leadership." "Lead the way." Follow you anywhere, ma'am. Ah, yes. Young man with all the questions. Ticket. - It says... - Don't... It's nothing I need to know. - Come on, let's see the bell. GIRL 1: Let's see it. BOY 1: Come on, let's see the bell. - Show us the bell. KNOW-IT-ALL: Yeah, let's see the bell. It's gone. BOY 2: Where is it? - I lost it. I lost the bell from Santa's sleigh. BOY 3: It's gone? LONELY BOY: Don't worry. - We'll... We'll find it. BOY 4: Yeah, we'll find it. Yeah, we'll help you. All of us. Yeah, let's hurry out and find it right now. [TRAIN CHUGGING] It's too late. Gee, that's really too bad. Really. I'm sorry. Conductor: on the mic* 11344 Edbrooke. Next stop, 11344 Edbrooke. Hey, where you going? Home. Oh, okay. Merry Christmas. Thanks for stopping the train for me. Have a wonderful Christmas. Watch your step, please. And merry Christmas. Look. [TRAIN SHUDDERS] Santa got to Billy's house already. Look, look! Santa got here! Isn't that amazing? It is amazing. It is amazing. I'm sorry about the bell. It was a really special present. Well, you know what they say. It's the thought that counts. Yeah. Well, see you. Well... ...see you. See you. Conductor: Watch your step, please. Hero Boy: Thank you. Conductor: No, thank you. One thing about trains: It doesn't matter where they're going. What matters is deciding to get on. CONDUCTOR [MUFFLED]: Merry Christmas! Hero Boy: W-What? Conductor: MERRY CHRISTMAS! Sarah: Wake up. Wake up. Santa's been here. Santa's been here. Hurry up. Hurry up! Mom, Dad, wake up. Wake up! Santa's been here! Santa's been here! Mom, Dad, look! He brought us all kinds of stuff! Look, a train! Sarah: This is the most beautiful-est, most wonderful-est Christmas ever. Wait. Look. Here's one more. Has your name on it. [BELL RINGS] [BELL RINGS] SANTA: Found this on the seat of my sleigh. Better fix that hole in your pocket. Mr. C. [BELL RINGS] MOM: Oh, what a beautiful bell. Who's it from? - Santa. - Santa? Really? - Oh, that's too bad. DAD: What's this? Broken. Huh? Sorry about that, sport. [BELL RINGS] MOM: Come on, kids. We don't wanna be late. NARRATOR: At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell. But as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found, one Christmas, that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old... ...the bell still rings for me. As it does for all who truly believe.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Polar Express, The (2004)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Narrator: I suppose it all started with the snow. You see, it's a very special kind of snow. A snow to make the happy happier and the giddy even giddier. A snow to make a homecoming homier and natural enemies friends, naturally. For it was the first snow of the season. And as any child can tell you, there's a certain magic to the very first snow... zellikle Noel arifesinde yayorsa. especially when it falls on the day before Christmas. For when the first snow is also a Christmas snow, well, something wonderful is bound to happen! [Laughing] [Ruler tapping] Teacher: Children, back to your seats. The snow can wait. Now, now. I've hired Professor Hinkle, the magician, to entertain at today's class Christmas party, so, pay attention! Narrator: Now, Professor Hinkle was just about the worst magician in the world. Professor Hinkle: And so, I put the magic eggs into my hat. Abracadabra, to coin a phrase... [Laugh] Professor Hinkle: And voila, the eggs have turned into... Messy, messy, messy. [Children groan] Professor Hinkle: Where is that rabbit? Hocus Pocus! Where are you? Bah, the only thing this hat's good for is the trash can! [Children laugh] [Bell rings] [Children cheer] [Hinkle grumbles] Professor Hinkle: Hey, look at the snow! It's cold and snowy! It's the best kind of snow! We're building a snowman, Karen. You make the head! Karen: The head is the most difficult part, ask anyone! What will we call him? Should we call him Harold? Uh, Bweoorf. Nah. Christopher columbus? Oh, no. Oatmeal? Oatmeal? Karen: How about... Frosty? Frosty? Yeah! Frosty it is. Frosty the snowman! [Cheers] [Frosty the snowman, what a happy jolly soul. With a corn cob pipe and a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal.] Frosty the snow- Professor Hinkle: Come back here, you! Frosty: Happy birthday! Karen: That hat brought Frosty to life. It must be magic. Professor Hinkle: Magic? My hat, magic? Karen: Just look. If that hat is magic, I want it back. But it's not yours anymore! You threw it away! Don't talk back to your elders, you naughty naughty little girl. And you, stay in there, or there will be no carrots for Christmas. Karen: But you can't take that hat back. It brought Frosty to life. You saw it happen! Professor Hinkle: I saw nothing of the kind. [Chattering] Professor Hinkle: Quiet, I can't lose that hat if it's really got magic now! It'll make me a billionaire magician! But we saw Frosty come to life, didn't we? Uh-huh, we sure did. Professor Hinkle: You silly children believe everything you see. When you're grown up you'll realize that snowman can't come to life. Karen: But, we... Professor Hinkle: Silly, silly, silly! Aw, Frosty, we don't care what grown-ups say. We know you did come to life. Karen: We know, Frosty. We just know. Frosty the snowman, was a jolly happy soul. With a corn cob pipe and a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal. Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale they say. He was made of snow but the children know how he came to life one day. Now, of course, the hat did belong to Frosty and the children. That part must be made very clear. Therefore, Hocus Pocus was entirely in the right in what he was about to do. Well, Hocus Pocus raced back to the children just as fast as he could. [Hocus Pocus whistles] Look! The hat's back. Let's see if it will make Frosty alive again. Happy birthday! Hey, I said my first words... But snowmen can't talk. All right, come on now, what's the joke? Could, could I really be alive? I mean, I can make words, I can move. I can juggle, I can sweep, I can count to ten. One, two, three, four, five, nine, six, eight... Well, I can count to five. [laughing] What do you know? I'm even ticklish. In fact, I'm all living. I am alive! What a neat thing to happen to a nice guy like me. [Children cheer] There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found. For when they placed it on his head he began to dance around. Frosty the snowman was alive as he could be and the children say he could laugh and play just the same as you and me. Frosty: Uh-oh. Karen: What's the matter, Frosty? Frosty: Whew, is there a thermometer around here? Karen: Over there on the wall, why? Frosty: Oh, I was afraid of that. The thermomter is getting red. I hate red thermometers. Why, Frosty? 'Cause when the thermometer gets all reddish, the temperature goes up. And when the temperature goes up, I start to melt. And when I start to melt... I get all wishy washy! Then you've gotta go some place where you'll never melt. The only place I'd never melt is the north pole. Then we've got to get you there! Yeah, we'll take you downtown to the railroad station and put you on a train. Great, I always wanted to see the town. Let's make a party out of it! Let's have a parade! Frosty the snowman knew the sun was hot that day, so he said let's run and we'll have some fun now before I melt away. Down to the village with a broomstick in his hand, running here and there all around the square, saying catch me if you can. Frosty: Come on, kids, follow the leader! He led them down the streets of town right to the traffic cop, and he only paused a moment when he heard him holler stop. [Cop blows whistle] Stop. Stop. Stop! All right, didn't you see that traffic light? What's a traffic light? Up there on the lamp post! What's a lamp post? Oh, you want a ticket wise guy? I'd love one, to the north pole, please! Huh? You've got to excuse him, sir. You see, he just came to life and he doesn't know much about such things. Oh, well, okay, if he just came to life. [Cop blows whistle] Move along! That silly snowman. Once they come to life they don't know nothing. Come to life? [Soft whistling] [Snoring] [Snoring] We'd like a ticket to the north pole please. Hmm... What? Yes. The north pole? Oh, yes ma'am. [Bonk, Ping, Tinkle, Scrabble, Doink] Route you by the way of Saskatchewan, Hudson Bay, Nome Alaska, the Klondike, and Aurora Borealis! Gotta make a change at Nanuk of the Northville. That'll be $3,000 and four cents, including tax. Karen: Oh, but we don't have any money. Ticket Man: No money!? No money, no ticket! Frosty: Now I'll never get to the north pole. Karen: Oh, Frosty, you just can't melt! Oh, Karen, don't you get all slushy too. What is it, Hocus? Out the window? A refrigerated boxcar on a train headed north. You'll be safe there, Frosty! Come on! It's full of ice cream and frozen Christmas cakes. What a neat way to travel! [Whistle blows] Hurry up, Frosty, the train is pulling out! Are you coming to the north pole, too? I'm sure my mother won't mind, as long as I'm home in time for supper. [Whistle blows] Frosty the snowman had to hurry on his way, but he waved goodbye saying don't cry. I'll be back again some day. Professor Hinkle: I must get that hat back. Think, nasty, think, nasty, think nasty. [Evil laughter]. He'll be back again some day. Now actually, a refrigerated boxcar is a splendid way to travel. Splendid that is... if one is a snowman or a furry coated rabbit. But for Karen... [Karen's Teeth Chattering] [Sneeze] Are you cold, Karen? Now that's a silly question. You wouldn't be sneezing if you weren't cold. Well... just... just a lit... little. [Sneeze] Frosty realized that Karen had to get out of that car as soon as possible. So when the little freight train stopped to let an express full of happy Christmas travelers pass, Frosty took advantage of the opportunity and quickly got them all off. Oh, you tricked me! No fair! The only thing professor Hinkle could do was make a jump for it. [Bonk, Ping, Tinkle, Scrabble, Doink] [Howling wind] Frosty wanted to get as far away as he could before Hinkle woke up. [Hocus' teeth chatter] [Sneeze] But the woods through which they traveled were still bitterly cold. Hocus, I've got to get Karen all warmed up or she's a goner! I can't make a fre. Oh boy, that's one thing I really can't do. I guess we just better keep moving until we find somebody who can. Then suddenly they came upon a tiny glen which seemed almost magical. For it was Christmas eve and the woodland animals were all decorating for their big celebration. They knew Santa was to come that night and they wanted everything to be just right. Hocus, speak to the animals. See if they won't all pitch in and build a fre for Karen. [Squeaky noises] The animals were delighted to help. so they found a spot away from the glen where the fre wouldn't catch on to the trees. Soon there was a spark and in almost no time a splendid fre was crackling away. Frosty was careful to stay far away from the flames. Hocus, we've got to find someone to help Karen get home before she freezes. And me to the north pole before I melt, but who? No, not the marines. No, not the president of the United States. Oh, they were both swell ideas, but we've got to find someone nearby. Yeah, Santa Claus. That's a great idea. Why didn't I think of that before? Hocus, you go back with the animals and when Santa comes, you bring him right here. Understand? Hurry now! Narrator: So Frosty kept a silent vigil, waiting patiently all through the night until Santa would arrive. But suddenly... Professor Hinkle: Oh, a campfire. Well isn't that all snug and comfy? [Evil laughter] [Professor Hinkle blows] Frosty: No! Don't! Professor Hinkle: Now give me that hat or else! Frosty: Or else what? Professor Hinkle: Well don't bother me with details, give me that hat! Frosty: Get on my shoulders, Karen! Narrator: You see, Frosty, since he was made of snow himself was the fastest belly-whopper in the world. And old professor Hinkle was soon far outdistanced. And now it was Frosty's good fortune that right at the bottom of the hill was a tiny greenhouse used to grow precious tropical poinsettias for Christmas. Frosty: It's got to be all warm and snug inside for those Christmas flowers to grow so beautiful. Let's go in. Karen: Oh, but, but you will melt! Frosty: Just a little. I'll only stay inside for a minute. Besides, I've been meaning to take off a little weight anyway. Whew, stay in here much longer and I'll really make a splash in the world. Professor Hinkle: Now I've got you, and the minute you're all melted the hat will be mine! [Evil laughter] Narrator: Santa had arrived but was he too late? Hocus explained the situation to Santa, who as you know speaks a fluent rabbit. And when they didn't find Frosty and Karen on the hill... Santa followed Frosty's path in the snow to the greenhouse. But when they got inside, a terrible sight met their eyes. [Karen weeping] [Sad music plays] (Very slowly) Frosty the snowman was a happy, jolly soul with a corn cob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal. They were too late. Santa Claus: Too late? Why, nonsense! Don't cry, Karen. Frosty's not gone for good. You see, he was made out of Christmas snow and Christmas snow can never disappear completely. Oh, it sometimes goes away for almost a year at a time and takes the form of spring and summer rain, but you can bet your boots that when a good jolly December wind kisses it, it will turn in to Christmas snow all over again! Karen: Yes, but he was my friend. Santa Claus: [Chuckle] Just watch. Professor Hinkle: Wait a minute! I want that hat and I want it now! Santa Claus: Don't you dare touch that! Professor Hinkle: And just what are you going to do about it? Santa Claus: If you so much as lay a finger on the brim, I'll never bring you another Christmas present as long as you live. Professor Hinkle: Never? Santa Claus: Never! Professor Hinkle: No more trick cards or magic balls or... Santa Claus: No more anything. Professor Hinkle: Oh, that's not fair. I mean, we evil magicians have to make a living too. Santa Claus: Now you go home and write "I am very sorry for what I did to Frosty" a hundred zillion times. And then maybe, just maybe, mind you... you'll find something in your stocking tomorrow morning. Professor Hinkle: A new hat maybe? Oh, yes sir. Goodbye everyone. Sorry to lose and run, but I've got to get busy writing. Busy busy busy! Santa Claus: Come on, Frosty, we're all waiting for you. Frosty: Happy birthday! Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale they say. He was made of snow but the children know how he came to life one day. And so Santa took Karen home and made ready to bring Frosty back to the north pole. Karen hated to say goodbye to Frosty, but as Santa promised, Frosty returned every year with the magical Christmas snow. And every year there was a great celebration with a great Christmas parade. Thumpity thump thump thumpity thump. Look at that Frosty go. Thumpity thump thump thumpity thump. Over the hills of snow. Frosty the snowman, was a jolly, happy soul. With a corn cob pipe and a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal. And with Frosty the snowman, Christmas was always very merry indeed. You have a merry christmas too! Frosty the snowman had to hurry on his way, but he waved goodbye saying don't you cry. Frosty: I'll be back on Christmas day!	{"type": "movie", "show": "Frosty the Snowman (1969)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
THE TRUTH ABOUT CHRISTMAS (2018) (Festive Music) ♪ Jingle bells and colored lights ♪ ♪ Cocoa after snowball fights ♪ (Phone Ringing) JILLIAN: Hey, Zoe. ZOE: Wake up, woman! You're trending. JILLIAN: What? ZOE: The article has landed. Lace up, New York. Jillian Welles has arrived. JILLIAN: Wow. ZOE: Your life is turning into one big Sparksy app. I just sent you the link, laters. JILLIAN: Thank you. George. GEORGE: Hmmm? JILLIAN: Look. GEORGE: "New York's next political power couple." (Laughing) JILLIAN: Don't you love it? GEORGE: Oh, it's about time. JILLIAN: So good. GEORGE: Yeah, let's get to it then, huh? JILLIAN: Get out of here! (Laughing) (Jingle Music) GEORGE: The City Oasis Project. Something special. Something that we can build for our children so they can hand it down to their children. This is our home. Do we need another condominium development? CROWD: No! GEORGE: That's right. This can be a space where everyone in the community can come together, share. Where you can learn to cook a fiesta and you can learn to code if you liked. Where we can all come together to connect, lean, exercise, socialize. We can't just keep adding buildings. (Phone Buzzing) GEORGE: In short, my friends, what we need to ensure we build here is a greater sense of community. Thank you all so much for coming. (Applauding) JUAN: Miss Welles. Miss Welles, when Councilmen Beauman first ran, didn't he say that housing and development were the path to the future? JILLIAN: I don't recall him ever saying that, Juan, but I will look into it for you. Excuse me, Lorraine! Love the hat. You have such an amazing sense of style. Good to see you, excuse me. THERESA: Jillian! There you are. Hot off the presses. Pancake Breakfast Rally on the 15th with George leading the charge to city hall. JILLIAN: I love it. It's gonna be a tremendous success. THERESA: Oh, since you got George on board, I am finally starting to believe that the City Oasis Project is gonna happen. JILLIAN: Well it is our number one priority. THERESA: Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. The other day, I came across the most adorable photo of you from when you first started to volunteer here. You couldn't have been more than 20. JILLIAN: Theresa. THERESA: And look at you now. And that article. You're like a celebrity. JILLIAN: Oh, stop, you're the celebrity around here. I'm so sorry, George is late for a meeting. I will see you soon. THERESA: Mhmm. JILLIAN: Love you. THERESA: See you at the breakfast. JILLIAN: Bye. JUAN: Councilman, I need your comment on. JILLIAN: Great to see you, Juan, great to see everyone. Thank you for a lovely day, George, we've gotta go. REPORTERS: There they are. Councilman, answer the big question! Is it true, are you running for mayor? JILLIAN: Absolutely no decision has been made. Anything you've heard is purely rumor. REPORTER: Oh, come on. JILLIAN: Honestly, guys, there's no tea to be spilled here. George's soul focus remains his role as city councilman. I'll be signing the lease on the new campaign headquarters as soon as you leave for Connecticut. (Chuckling) GEORGE: Perfect. Thanks for coming everyone, Merry Christmas! (Upbeat Music) GEORGE: So, how'd the article end? JILLIAN: Really great. Lots of comments and engagement and likes. Retweets. GEORGE: Excellent. (Camera Snapping) GEORGE: Theresa did great with this. Love the big stack of pancakes but come on, no syrup? JILLIAN: They do look kinda dry. (Laughing) GEORGE: Wait. JILLIAN: What is it? GEORGE: Bill Festerman's arranging a golf weekend to introduce me to some big potential donors. JILLIAN: That's fantastic, so? GEORGE: It is. But it's the weekend of the 15th. JILLIAN: George, they are counting on you. You're their headliner. GEORGE: I know, I didn't realize it was the same weekend. JILLIAN: This is why you have to confirm everything with me before you commit to it. GEORGE: I know, you're right. I feel awful. But there will be other events and we discussed this once we announce on Christmas. Our focus has to be on the campaign. It's already been set up. JILLIAN: This has already been set up too. GEORGE: Yes, but we will need those donors. JILLIAN: George. I will handle it. GEORGE: That's my girl. (Phone Chiming) THERESA: What's up, sweetie? JILLIAN: Theresa, hi, I am in the car with George and we just realized there is a major scheduling conflict. He now has a leadership conference on the 15th. THERESA: Oh, well. Well, what time does he leave? Maybe he can just rally the troops at breakfast. JILLIAN: I don't think that's gonna work, Theresa. He actually flies out the evening before. I'm so sorry. THERESA: Jillian, don't, I trust you. I know you would never cancel unless you absolutely had to. Merry Christmas. (Mysterious Music) JILLIAN: It's done. GEORGE: Thank you. JILLIAN: Hold my hand, kiss it. GEORGE: You're the best. Merry Christmas. JILLIAN: Indeed. GEORGE: I'm a terrible boyfriend. JILLIAN: Yeah. GEORGE: I ate all of your sashimi when you went to the ladies room. JILLIAN: Oh, please, I wasn't even really hungry. GEORGE: I wish I could wait. Then we could go together but I gotta make it in time for that symphony fundraiser meeting. JILLIAN: It's okay. I can send you a copy of the lease and pack for the weekend and then, just a few hours. (Laughing) GEORGE: This is gonna be perfect. A chance for us to sort out before he campaign storm hits. I can't believe we're really doing it. JILLIAN: Announcing your run for mayor of New York City on Christmas Day! GEORGE: And I cannot wait to introduce you to my family. They're going to love you because you're perfect. JILLIAN: Well lucky for me, parents are kind of my strong suit. I'm sure I'm gonna love them too. They made you, honey. GEORGE: I love you. JILLIAN: I love you too. JILLIAN: Ketchup, mustard, old pickles. I can't believe we don't have any food in here. I'm starving and I'm really nervous about meeting George's parents. ZOE: "According to Miss Welles, "she remembered seeing Mr. Beauman "speak at city council meetings "and being quite impressed by him." Yeah, try obsessed. "According to Beauman, "he met Miss Welles when he first considered "running for higher office "and she came on board the exploratory committee. "Quote, "The second Jillian walked through the door, "I knew she had something special." Yeah, you got something special all right. JILLIAN: Okay. ZOE: Look at us. Just a couple of gals from humble beginnings. JILLIAN: Who knew, right? ZOE: Oh, man. Political power couple. In love and basically living together. Which reminds me. This is all the mail that came while you've been shacking up. Put your name on it and everything. JILLIAN: Thank you very much. Another thing. Ah. You kinda have to keep that whole detail of us living together under wraps because George's parents are very, very conservative. ZOE: Okay, that's weird. JILLIAN: Something I also haven't told you. ZOE: Oh my God, what? You're pregnant? JILLIAN: No. Two top political consulting firms have reached out to me. I had to play coy with them about George running but they pretty much said that if everything goes well, I can pretty much write my own ticket. ZOE: Oh my God, Jillian, that's huge! JILLIAN: We gotta toast to that. ZOE: Oh, we do. JILLIAN: To the perfect weekend. (Phone Ringing) ZOE: Oh, look, it's the other half of the political power couple. JILLIAN: Hi, hon. GEORGE: Hey, sweetie, we're all set. Everything's in place for the symphony. Festerman's locked in. You'll finally get to meet his wife, Irene. And my family, well, they're dying to get you up here. Let's just say, that article was a big ht. JILLIAN: Well thanks for sending the car. I'll be there in no time. GEORGE: You're the best. I mean that. Oh and I almost forgot. You're basically a hero around here. Thanks for picking up that Poppy Dot for my little niece. My sister says she can't stop talking about it. JILLIAN: I'm sorry, what? GEORGE: The Poppy Dot. For Megan. Remember, I told her if she got her grades up I'd get it for her for Christmas? You said you'd take care of it. JILLIAN: Ummm... GEORGE: Please tell me you didn't forget it. We were counting on you. JILLIAN: No, no, no, I didn't forget. GEORGE: Megan worked her butt off to get straight A's and we already told her she was getting it. She went absolutely nuts. JILLIAN: I didn't forget, it was, you know, the wifi. It was like. (Stammering) JILLIAN: You know? GEORGE: Thank God. You scared me. I thought you-- JILLIAN: Oh hey, here it is right here. ZOE: Why are you waving my vintage underwear around? Hi, George. JILLIAN: I have it. No worries. GEORGE: You never forget. You're my ace. You always have my back. All right, I'll see you soon. I love you. JILLIAN: Okay, love you too, bye. JILLIAN: Crap. ZOE: What is wrong with you? JILLIAN: I know, I'm stuck and I just lied to George. Now I gotta go find some thing called a Poppy Dot. I can't believe I forgot. Between the campaign and the holidays and trying to meet these parents. I just blanked. ANNOUNCER: Spice up your holiday with the hottest new tech toy! KIDS: The Poppy Dot! ANNOUNCER: Explore a world of fun. Just tell the Poppy Dot what you want to do. KIDS: Tell me a story. ANNOUNCER: Or Poppy Dot can suggest all sorts of fun activities. POPPY DOT: Let's make a video! ANNOUNCER: Use the app for custom colors and navigation. Poppy Dot will be your best friend! ZOE: Those things creep me out. It's like an Alexa, a Home Pod and a strobe light had a three-way and then somehow had a baby. JILLIAN: Well it looks like now I'll be stopping off to get a Poppy Dot. ZOE: Hello, I don't think so. Poppy Dot went It-Toy status. They're sold out everywhere. JILLIAN: This? POPPY DOT: Poppy Dot loves everybody! ZOE: Sold out, sold out! JILLIAN: Why won't they pick up! ZOE: Can't you just call George back and tell him the truth? JILLIAN: No, I can't! It just dawned on me that this whole Dot thing is a really big deal to Megan. I mean, this is the only present that she even really asked for and I told George I already had it and I even used a visual. This is the first impression I'm making on these people, I cannot tell them I forgot about it and then lies about it, are you kidding me?! ZOE: Wait, it says Colossal Toys has one left still. JILLIAN: Okay! ZOE: Let's go! JILLIAN: Go! SANTA: Merry Christmas! JILLIAN: Sorry, I already gave at the office! (Suspenseful Music) JILLIAN: Poppy Dots, Poppy Dots! ZOE: Thirsty for Poppy Dots! (Sighing) JILLIAN: Thank God, we did it. JILLIAN: Hey, what're you doing? That was mine. You don't understand. I have to have that, okay, I was right here. GIRL: Maybe you should be like Elsa from "Frozen" and let it go. ZOE: You just got owned by a 10 year old. JILLIAN: I need that dot. ZOE: So what're you gonna do? JILLIAN: I don't know. Maybe go see if you can bribe a store manager or something. Maybe somebody put one on hold. ZOE: Okay. JILLIAN: Oh, hi. Again. Remember me? GIRL: Our encounter is forever etched into my brain. JILLIAN: Oh, good. Well, I know you might not be allowed to take money from strangers but since you remember me so well, maybe you can take some money from me. Whatever money app you prefer. I'm willing to go pretty high here. That's a real no, huh? Well. That's fine. That's okay. To think, it's all because of that cute little puppy. GIRL: What puppy? JILLIAN: Oh, wow. I mean, the box design is great. Just so harmonious with the coloring and the way the font just pops, you know? It's like "Pop-Pee-Dot, yes!" You know, just marketing extravaganza. In a five by five box. So beautiful. GIRL: What about the puppy? JILLIAN: Oh, I'm sorry. You didn't hear all that? All the commotion. The little girl racing around the store, looking for her lost puppy? It was terrible. Here I was, you know, with the Poppy Dot in my hand and I was at the register about to pay, but then who do I see in the dinosaur aisle. Cute fur ball of joy just trying to survive on his own. I put down the Dot, you know, and I ran to get him. I put my name on the box, figuring I could come back for it later, you know? That's my name right there. It said, "Jillian." I'm Jillian. (Sighing) GIRL: Oh, your name is on it. You did save that puppy. JILLIAN: Yes. GIRL: You should have it. JILLIAN: Really? GIRL: Merry Christmas. JILLIAN: Merry Christmas. (Gasping) JILLIAN: Ho, ho, Santa. Were you? SANTA: Did you lie to that little girl to get the last Poppy Dot? JILLIAN: I don't even think this is the last one. They have a bunch more on back order. So, I mean, you know. Technically, this isn't any of your business anyway. You know, you give out your gifts, I give out mine. What's the big deal? You should put your own name on the naughty list. You don't even know me to judge me the way you judge me. That's not even fair. (Ominous Music) SANTA: You're right. Looks like I don't know you at all anymore. (Gasping) ZOE: You got it! (Upbeat Music) ♪ Walking under the falling snow ♪ ♪ All of the Christmas lights a glow ♪ ♪ Kiss me under the mistletoe ♪ ♪ Cause I know that you know I want you ♪ DRIVER: Everything all right back there, ma'am? JILLIAN: Everything's great. Everything is absolutely perfect. (Thudding) POPPY DOT: Lies are bad. (Pleasant Music) GRANDMA: Here she comes. JILLIAN: Hi. GEORGE: You made it. GEORGE: And Blake, he wanted to be here but he was too busy at the hardware store making the house look like it's on the Vegas strip. Nobody wants to rein him in on that. FATHER: George. GEORGE: Well, it's tacky, Dad. GRANDMA: Now I hope you're hungry. I made something special for you. It's an old family recipe that I make every year. Has George told you about it? JILLIAN: Oh yes, the toxic stew. (Ominous Music) JILLIAN: That's what they called it when they warned me about it on the telephone. GRANDMA: Oh. (Ominous Music) JILLIAN: Family tradition and trture all in one bowl. (Laughing) GEORGE: I told you, she's hilarious. Grandma, she's kidding, she's just kidding, right? JILLIAN: George said that the dog almost died last year. He had to get his stomach pumped with some kind of a black charcoal. The vet visit was $800 dollars plus meds. I think they boarded him this year just to save his life. (Laughing) GEORGE: She is a riot. You just won't stop. FATHER: Let's get the luggage, George. GEORGE: Good idea, Dad. MOTHER: Here we go, it's all right, there we go. POPPY DOT: Santa says nobody likes a liar. MOTHER: Jillian, are you coming, dear? JILLIAN: Yes. (Sighing) MOTHER: Welcome. This is our home. JILLIAN: It's lovely. MOTHER: Thank you. Oh, I have to show you this. I just picked this up last week at a charity auction for the Audubon Society. What do you think? JILLIAN: It's bad. Ah, what I mean is, it's really bad, like it should be named, "Why Cocktails Should Be Banned At Charity Auctions." MOTHER: Shall I show you to your room? JILLIAN: I would like that very much. MOTHER: Okay. JILLIAN: Mrs. Beauman. MOTHER: Yes? JILLIAN: I don't know what is happening with me. But I do know that I would like to impress you very much and normally I'm quite good at that. I did have a few tequila shts with my friend before I came. Maybe that, coupled with my nerves, is the cause of all this. MOTHER: That's all right, dear. Between you and I, I may have had a few cocktails at the auction, myself. (Chuckling) MOTHER: Just up here. Oh, that's Lacey. JILLIAN: Pretty. And there's George. Hot. And my baby, Blake. Isn't he adorable? JILLIAN: Huge head. MOTHER: Trust me, dear, I remember. We have you and George in separate bedrooms. That's just the way we do things around here for those who are unwed. I hope you don't mind. Do you? JILLIAN: No. I spends seven nights a week with George. He's a total blanket hogger. I'm actually looking forward to the break. Not to mention the snoring. MOTHER: Seven nights a week. So basically, you-- JILLIAN: We're basically living together. Cohabiting, syncopating. Whatever you wanna call it. Good talk, bye. Dammit, what is happening to me? (Huffing) POPPY DOT: Liar, liar, pants on fre. Yes, you, Jillian. (Mysterious Music) (Sighing) JILLIAN: Poppy Dot, what did you just say? POPPY DOT: Merry Christmas. I'm your personal Poppy Dot. Want to play a game? (Laughing) (Sighing) JILLIAN: Oh my goodness. POPPY DOT: Let's count how many times Jillian has lied today. (Jillian Screams) POPPY DOT: Two, three, four, five, six. (Knocking) MOTHER: Jillian? POPPY DOT: Seven. JILLIAN: Shut up, Poppy Dot! MOTHER: Jillian, are you all right? JILLIAN: Uh, no. MOTHER: Do you want me to come in? JILLIAN: God, no! I mean, the toy I bought for Megan talks and it just scared me, that's all. MOTHER: Well, that was quite a scream. JILLIAN: Yeah, that's me. I'm a screamer. Thank God I'm not sleeping in a room with George. (Gasping) MOTHER: Well, as long as you're all right. Okay. (Christmas Music) (Phone Jingling) ZOE: Hold on one sec, Jill, okay? JILLIAN: Help me! ZOE: Jillian, are you all right? JILLIAN: No. Something is happening to me and I don't know what it is. I think I've been cursed by Santa. ZOE: Okay, I don't think that's what Santa does. Maybe you're confusing Santa with Satan. JILLIAN: I know how to spell, okay? I lied to the little girl in the store and when Santa asked me if I lied, I lied to him too and now the Poppy Dot is taunting me! ZOE: Right, Santa made your tech turn. JILLIAN: I don't know, okay? I just know I remember the way he was looking at me with those disapproving eyes, okay? Something has happened. Suddenly I can't lie. ZOE: That's hysterical. You work in politics. JILLIAN: That's very funny. Look, I've been here five minutes and already I've insulted George's mom's painting, I told her her son had a big head. You don't even wanna know, the worst of all, as soon as I got here I was like-- (Knocking) GRANDMA: Jillian, it's Grandma. JILLIAN: No, no. GRANDMA: I'd like to talk to you. JILLIAN: It's George's grandmother. ZOE: So what? What's wrong with that? (Knocking) GRANDMA: Are you in there? JILLIAN: She's got me cornered. I can't lie. I'll call you back! (Groaning) (Grandma Mumbling) GRANDMA: Yoo-hoo? GRANDMA: Jillian, I'm coming in here. Okay now. JILLIAN: Oh my God. GRANDMA: I coulda sworn she was in here. (Comedic Music) BLAKE: Hi. (Screaming) BLAKE: I'm Blake, George's brother. JILLIAN: I literally thought that you were an ax mrder. Hi, I'm Jillian, I'm George's-- BLAKE: Yeah, I know, I kinda figured. You wanna tell me what that was all about? JILLIAN: Honestly, no. BLAKE: I think you kinda have to. I just busted you climbing out of a window and being super weird, so. JILLIAN: I was trying to get away from your grandmother. It's a long story but she wanted to ask me some questions and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. BLAKE: So you climbed down a trellis. JILLIAN: Mhmm. BLAKE: Okay. JILLIAN: What're you doing? BLAKE: I have a lot of stuff to take care of, okay? JILLIAN: Rude. BLAKE: Look, obviously something's going on but don't look me in the eye and tell me that a political consultant from New York can't talk her way around my grandmother. JILLIAN: It's true. BLAKE: No, come on. An 80 year old civilian? I feel like someone like you could handle that in her sleep. JILLIAN: Someone like me? BLAKE: Yeah, you know, someone who basically lies for a living. JILLIAN: Oh, excuse me. How dare you just take what I do and distill it down to the most simplistic definition. I worked hard to get where I am, okay? Politics is a very complex world. It's a game of strategy. What I do is very important. BLAKE: Mhmm. And what exactly is it that you do again? JILLIAN: I tell people exactly what they need to hear so that your brother can get elected. BLAKE: Bingo. (Groaning) JILLIAN: George warned me you were difficult. BLAKE: Well by "difficult," he means I disagree with him on most personal, social and political issues and it makes him crazy, then yeah. I guess I'm difficult. JILLIAN: All right, I admit I should be able to spin some white lie and just handle your grandma but the truth is, your grandmother's very sweet, okay, and I don't wanna hurt her feelings. GEORGE: Oh, great, I see you met Jillian. BLAKE: I have, indeed. FATHER: Well, may I say you are even more beautiful in person than you appear on this cover. JILLIAN: Thank you. FATHER: You really do make a strong looking couple. When I consulted with Governor Walsh, he agreed you're gonna play on all demographics. You're clean cut, you're serious but you're not stodgy. There's no stodgy, you're young. You're aspirational. (Chuckling) FATHER: And what about this handsome, young guy, huh? He looks pretty darn good on this cover as well, doesn't he? And where do you think he got that from? JILLIAN: It's obvious that it comes from you, Mr. Beauman. (Laughing) JILLIAN: The 24 thousand dollars in veneers didn't hurt though. FATHER: 24 thousand in veneers? BLAKE: 24 thousand? FATHER: Really? Open up. Let me see. JILLIAN: A little Botox between the brows. FATHER: Oh, a little Botox too. GEORGE: Stop it, what're you doing? GEORGE: Stop. GRANDMA: There you are, Jillian. I was just looking for you. I wanted to have a little chat with you. I need to get to the bottom of a few things. GEORGE: Gram, I told you she was just kidding. BLAKE: Yeah, come on, Grandma. Don't pounce on the poor girl. She's our guest. She just got here. GRANDMA: I'm heading home. FATHER: Mother. She was just joking. GEORGE: Grandma. Jillian, Jillian, Jillian. What is happening with you? You haven't been yourself since you got here. I mean, toxic stew? My veneers, the Botox? What's next? JILLIAN: I kinda told your mom we're practically living together. GEORGE: What? Jillian! Wait, how'd she take that? JILLIAN: I don't know because I kinda slammed the door in her face as she was taking it all in. Look, okay, I'm sorry. I did not mean for all this stuff to happen. GEORGE: It is like you have short circuited or something. What is it? Is it nerves? JILLIAN: I wish I could blame this on nerves but I think it's the Poppy Dot. GEORGE: Stress, it's stress. JILLIAN: Again, I wish I could say yes to that and just end this conversation but it is the Poppy Dot. GEORGE: Why wouldn't you tell me what's going on with you? JILLIAN: I am telling you what's going on but you're not listening to me and I know it sounds crazy and you're very judgmental. GEORGE: Whoa, wait. Thanks a lot. I am not. Maybe I'm a little judgmental, but still. Sweetheart, I won't judge you. I just need to know what's going on with you. JILLIAN: I don't know but I think it's a curse. GEORGE: You're blaming this on your period? JILLIAN: No, George, like an actual curse. GEORGE: Uuuhhh. JILLIAN: Okay, the truth is, when you asked me about the Poppy Dot earlier, I didn't have it. I forgot to get it so I went racing all over the city trying to find one and when I found the last one, I had to tell a big lie to get it and then I had to lie to just cover up the big lie. GEORGE: Jillian. JILLIAN: What? GEORGE: Look, I know some lies in the political realm, that's okay. But lying to me, that's a breach of our trust. JILLIAN: I know but I didn't want to disappoint Megan or you. Okay? GEORGE: All right, all right, I understand that. But, I mean, you only told a few lies. Why did you get so thrown off? JILLIAN: Well, because the person that I lied to the last was Santa and I believe that he has it out for me now because he-- GEORGE: Okay, Santa? JILLIAN: You know, ever since then. GEORGE: Jillian. JILLIAN: Okay, look, I'll show you. Poppy Dot, tell me what you think of me. POPPY DOT: Poppy Dot loves everyone! Wanna play? We can make a video. (Groaning) POPPY DOT: Feliz Navidad is Spanish for Merry Christmas! JILLIAN: It was really just saying very disturbing things earlier. If you would've heard it. I mean, it's gonna do it. GEORGE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Put it down, put it down. Okay, you are stressed out. I know you don't wanna believe that but you are. I think you put a little too much pressure on yourself, all right, to make a good impression here. And, plus, with the looming announcement, I think it was just a little too much. And then, once you forgot the Poppy Dot, it just threw you over the edge. You know? JILLIAN: It just-- GEORGE: It's okay. It's okay, everyone has a bad day, right? So, you sit. Let's get you up there. All right? I'm gonna seal you in here. You're gonna get some rest. Tomorrow, you're gonna wake up old Jillian Welles again. All right? JILLIAN: Okay. GEORGE: Forget all about this. All right, sweetheart. JILLIAN: I love you, Georgie. GEORGE: Oh, I love you too, sweetie. POPPY DOT: Liar. JILLIAN: I knew it! That is it! I've had enough of this stupid dot! (Ominous Music) BLAKE: Oh, hey. Is that the Poppy Dot for Megan? JILLIAN: Yes, it is. BLAKE: It's cute. JILLIAN: You think so? Well, you keep it then. I don't want it. It just talks and talks. It's getting on my nerves! BLAKE: I feel like you could've just turned it off. FATHER: "Paramedics give it." It's three letters. MOTHER: CPR. FATHER: CPR, that's very good. MOTHER: Thank you, mhmm. (Knocking) GEORGE: Hey, guys. I just wanted to say goodnight. MOTHER: All right, dear. FATHER: Son. Come on in for a minute, sit down. MOTHER: George, honey. Jillian is very pretty. FATHER: Very pretty. MOTHER: She's very pretty. FATHER: But this is the girl you call your "ace?" The one who always has your back? GEORGE: Look, I know she didn't get off to the best start, here. MOTHER: Oh, dear. The Titanic got off to a better start. And while I am not crazy about the idea of the two of you living together, I don't live in the Dark Ages. I can handle it. I just didn't want to find out the way I did. GEORGE: Mom, that's on me. I asked her not to say anything. FATHER: Loose-lips and jittery. This is not the girl you described to me, son. Georgie, are you sure this is who you want sitting beside you when you announce your campaign? GEORGE: Of course it is. She helped me get to this step, didn't she? I plan on taking some other steps with her as well. MOTHER: A wedding? GEORGE: Mom, now let's just keep that on the down low. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. MOTHER: Oh no, I won't. GEORGE: Mom. MOTHER: Oh, promise. GEORGE: And Dad, relax. Please, just trust me, all right? The woman you met tonight is not the real Jillian. Tomorrow she'll be back to herself and you'll get to meet the Jillian that I know and I promise you, you will love her. Now, goodnight. FATHER: Goodnight. MOTHER: Goodnight, dear. GEORGE: I love you. MOTHER: Love you, honey. FATHER: You too. (Deck the Halls Music) ♪ Deck the Halls with boughs of holly ♪ (Doorbell Ringing) MOTHER: Lacey's here! (Phone Dial Tone Buzzing) ZOE: Hey, I didn't hear back from you. Thought grandma got you. JILLIAN: Oh, hilarious. ZOE: How's the can't lie thing? Passing fluke or lifelong malfunction? JILLIAN: I don't know, I just woke up. ZOE: Is the sky red? JILLIAN: Nope, the sky is blue. Crap! ZOE: How do I know you're even trying? JILLIAN: Don't go there, Zoe! Okay, I have one nerve left and it is starting to fray. GEORGE: Good morning. (Gasping) GEORGE: Oh. JILLIAN: George. GEORGE: Sorry. JILLIAN: You look really good. GEORGE: Thank you. JILLIAN: I can't believe you let me oversleep. I'm not even ready. GEORGE: It seemed like you needed it. Last night was a little-- JILLIAN: Rocky? GEORGE: More like an avalanche. It was like you were a different person. Are you back today? JILLIAN: I can't lie. I am here. GEORGE: Oh, thank goodness. All right, well Lacey's here with Ed and Megan. JILLIAN: Okay. GEORGE: Hurry up, come down and you can get dressed for the symphony after breakfast. Oh and let's go with the red coat over the black. Pops more. Go for the young, fresh vibe we're putting out there. JILLIAN: Okay. You still there? ZOE: Oh yeah, I'm here. And you are young and fresh. JILLIAN: Stop, Zoe. JILLIAN: Tomorrow, George is going viral with his campaign announcement with his entire family and me there and I'm petrified I'm gonna screw something up. My whole consulting career is gonna be ruined. ZOE: Are you sure this isn't just in your head? JILLIAN: It's not in my head. ZOE: I'm sorry, it just seems to me like maybe you're being a little dramatic. (Knocking) MOTHER: Jillian? It's me, Barb. If you have a moment, I thought we could sneak in a little girl talk. I have some family photos I'd love to show you. I even found my wedding album if you want to take a look at it. I even found a picture of my wedding dress just to see what you think. I gotta go! ZOE: What is it? JILLIAN: She wants to show me a picture of her wedding dress and I can't lie. She was an 80s bride. ZOE: Oh my God, get out of there, go! MOTHER: Jillian? Yoo-hoo. (Suspenseful Comedic Music) MOTHER: I'm coming in. Jillian? JILLIAN: I'm back. ZOE: What just happened? JILLIAN: I just climbed down the side of the house to get away from George's mom. ZOE: That kinda makes me miss high school. (Sighing) MOTHER: Jillian? JILLIAN: Listen, Zoe, you are the only calvary that I've got. Now we are leave for the symphony soon, okay? And this is a charity performance. So there's going to be major press coverage. The outgoing mayor who is going to Tweet his endorsement of George, he's gonna be there and Bill Festerman's showing up. He's gonna back George with a major donation. ZOE: I feel like I should be taking notes. JILLIAN: I'm never gonna be able to get through this without lying. I've already spun so many truths and half-truths. ZOE: Yeah, I seem to recall a few omitted facts. JILLIAN: Look, you've got to help me get to the bottom of this and get rid of this curse before the symphony. ZOE: Why me? JILLIAN: Whose boyfriend's cousin helped you get your first job at the Brow Hut when you moved to New York, hmmm? Who helped you get your makeup kit back from your psycho ex? Who is the only person who believed you when we were seven and you told our teacher that the coat room was haunted? ZOE: You, all you. JILLIAN: Exactly. Something tells me that this has something to do with Santa. ZOE: Jillian. JILLIAN: Check this out, okay? That first Santa that we passed on the street who was handing out flyers, that was just a guy in a cheap Santa suit, remember? But in the store, it was like the Gucci version. I mean, there must be something to that, right? ZOE: What, like Santa channeled through another Santa? JILLIAN: Look, I don't know, okay? Maybe cheap Santa have an in with Gucci Santa. I don't know, just get to the bottom of it and find one of them and tell them, "Message received. "Les are bad, I get it!" ZOE: Oh my God, is this really happening? JILLIAN: Yes! (Sighing) ZOE: All right. If you become First Lady of New York, you so better remember this. JILLIAN: If we don't figure out how to get this curse removed before the symphony, you won't have to worry about any of that! Bye. ZOE: Bye. (Upbeat Music) GEORGE: There you are. Come on. Oh, Jillian, this is my sister, Lacey, and, of course, Megan. JILLIAN: Hi, so nice to meet you, you look pretty. MEGAN: I know. LACEY: Oh, she means thank you. (Chuckling) LACEY: But guess what present is all she can talk about. MEGAN: The Poppy Dot, don't you just love it? JILLIAN: Yes, I mean everybody just, no, I don't like it. I actually think it's annoying but it is really fun for other people. LACEY: Okay. Odd response but it's so nice to meet you. GEORGE: And, Jillian, this is Lacey's husband, Ed. JILLIAN: Hi, nice to meet you. I've heard great things about you. ED: Oh yeah, like what? JILLIAN: Oh, that you're a really nice guy. Mid-level achiever but you make a great margarita. MOTHER: Breakfast. JILLIAN: Breakfast. GEORGE: Breakfast. Ed, I love your margaritas. They're the best. ED: Thanks, man. GEORGE: Yeah. JILLIAN: I feel so bad I overslept. Everyone's already dressed. BLAKE: Hey, not everyone. MOTHER: Good morning, dear. BLAKE: Morning. GEORGE: Blake's not joining us for the symphony, are you? BLAKE: Oh, George's implication is that I don't like the symphony but I do, I just had a previous commitment. MOTHER: Well, after tomorrow, you two lovebirds are gonna be busy on the campaign. I hope you were able to get your rest. Jillian, was your room all right? JILLIAN: Oh yes. I love getting away from the city and this house has such a nice, warm energy. Other than that owl painting, I really enjoyed being in my room, thanks. GEORGE: Yeah, it's nice. It's opposite than our aesthetic. We're minimalists. Right? JILLIAN: One of us is. GEORGE: What're you talking about? First date, we went to that art show, you said you loved it and you love my apartment. First time she saw it, she said she wouldn't change a thing. She thought my taste was great. Isn't that right? JILLIAN: I lied. GEORGE: You lied? JILLIAN: I appreciate a minimalist aesthetic, just not as much as you do and not for a home. Also, I don't think that throw pillows are a crime. And that art show, ugh. JILLIAN: This is embarrassing. Have you ever met someone that you liked so much that you laughed at all of their jokes even when they weren't funny and you liked everything that they liked and you did everything that they did like it was the best thing ever? Well, that's kind of what happened here. I knew who George was when I met him. I followed his work as a councilman and I really admired it. But little by little, I found myself lying about things so that he would like me. I'm sorry. That's what happened, I lied. BLAKE: hm* year I fell for a theater major, her name was Fiona Allen. I wasn't really into theater but she was, so I lied and I told her I was into theater. And then I changed my major to Theater Arts. LACEY: Oh my God, you? Are you serious? BLAKE: Oh yeah, I would've warn a unitard for this girl. LACEY: No. BLAKE: It's young love. FATHER: What, he's an actor now? MOTHER: No, dear. Bob took me to golf and then the horse races for our first date. I hate golf and I hate the horse races. FATHER: And I love golf and I love the horse races. MOTHER: But I liked him so I lied and I told him that it was the best day ever. FATHER: It was a very expensive date. MOTHER: Oh, stop it. FATHER: Unbelievable. MOTHER: Stop it. ED: Well, I think what you did, Jillian, was pretty human. GEORGE: Yeah, I mean, how could I be mad? You just did it because you fell so hard for me, right? I think it's pretty flattering, actually. MOTHER: George, dear. GEORGE: What? Oh. Does anyone want the last pancake? JILLIAN: I do. GEORGE: You do? JILLIAN: I would like it very much. GEORGE: Okay. You don't usually have an appetite like this. Something different? JILLIAN: Oh, I do, I do have an appetite but just not in front of you. LACEY: Why's that? JILLIAN: George likes us to look really good in pictures, you know? The camera adds 10 pounds. We're in the limelight. MOTHER: George. FATHER: Georgie, come on. GEORGE: Dad. BLAKE: I like a thick woman. JILLIAN: Normally I wouldn't do anything like this. Take the last pancake or the last anything for that matter. Too worried what people would think of me as though I'm not allowed to eat. You know, I'm not allowed to say that I'm still hungry when I am, in fact, still hungry. I'm very hungry. George ate all my sashimi at lunch yesterday and I woke up today feeling totally famished. MOTHER: George. LACEY: Wow. GEORGE: She said she wasn't hungry. JILLIAN: I lied. FATHER: There's a whole tray of bacon. Eat the bacon, give her the bacon. Give the sausage. ED: Just pass these down. Poor girl's hungry, come on. FATHER: Take my juice. GEORGE: Dad, she doesn't want your juice. JILLIAN: I want the juice, George. FATHER: Give her the juice. GEORGE: Here, here's the juice. JILLIAN: This is amazingly liberating to eat this much in front of people, people I just met. ED: There you go. LACEY: Okay, well, I mean, since Jillian's being so honest and with the campaign about to start. Ed and I just thought it would be a great time to get something off our chests. Okay. Remember when we eloped? MOTHER: I'll never forget it. LACEY: Okay. ED: Well, the truth is. LACEY: We aren't actually married. MOTHER: What? FATHER: What's that? Sorry. GEORGE: What, you're not married? LACEY: We found out I was pregnant with Megan when we were on vacation and we came back and we just told everyone that we eloped. Yeah. ED: Surprise. MOTHER: Ed. BLAKE: This is where I exit. MOTHER: Did he know about this? Did you know about this? Where are you going? ED: George, since you wanted us to campaign with you. If you were going to be introducing me as Lacey's husband, technically that's not true, so. LACEY: No. GEORGE: Right. Well we'll just have to run focus numbers on this. JILLIAN: Okay. Okay. LACEY: We just thought you should know. JILLIAN: I should probably go and get ready. This was really great. Lovely. Biscuits were delicious. I'm just gonna get ready for the symphony. You know, you guys are all dressed up and you too, you're dressed up too. You know, let me take out the trash. Excuse me. (Laughing) (Groaning) JILLIAN: Oh, wow. BLAKE: You know, I really can't figure you out. JILLIAN: Oh, God, here we go again. Let me guess, you have some thoughts to share now. BLAKE: Just when I'm positive there's something janky about you, you change it up. I don't get it, what is it, some kind of truth cleanse before the campaign starts? JILLIAN: No, I just find myself, hopefully temporarily unable to lie. BLAKE: All right then, for my peace of mind, is there anything shady about you? Anything that might hurt my brother? JILLIAN: Well, this isn't shady about me but I have done some research into Bill Festerman, the guy who wants to back George. I found a few things. BLAKE: Like what? JILLIAN: Cheating, fraud. Nothing that could bring George down. I mean, he's not attached to any of Festerman's businesses but, all-in-all, Festerman is not a good guy and I haven't told George any of this. It's easier that way and it's better for the campaign. George needs Festerman and he's gonna open the way to other big donors. BLAKE: I appreciate the candor. And you should know, even though I disagree with George on a lot of things, I still love him. I don't think he's a bad guy or anything. He's just always liked the spotlight a little bit more than I have. And his head can turn too easily, so I just wanna make sure that he's surrounding himself with the right kind of people. JILLIAN: I am the right kind of people. BLAKE: We'll see. JILLIAN: Will we? You know, George and I both wanna change things. And we're doing something which is more than can be said about you. I mean, George put together a whole charity event at the symphony which you can't even be bothered to attend. And here I thought George was the judgmental Beauman. BLAKE: Uh huh. JILLIAN: What do you know? You're just some guy with a tech device, futzing around a bunch of Christmas lights. Have fun. BLAKE: Tell the truth, you really do like the lights, don't you? JILLIAN: I friggin' love 'em! (Upbeat Music) ZOE: Sorry, Jill, there's no Santa at the toy store today. JILLIAN: We leave for the symphony at noon. It is the day before Christmas in New York. Can't you find another Santa? I'm out of options here. ZOE: Any Santa? JILLIAN: I don't know. Just see what you can do, okay? ZOE: All right. I'll try a department store. JILLIAN: Thank you, you're my hero, I love you. ZOE: Yeah, always. (Knocking) JILLIAN: Come in. GEORGE: Well, you look gorgeous. JILLIAN: Thank you. GEORGE: Love those earrings. But I would go with the studs. Oh and great news. Festerman just added two new donors to the golf weekend. JILLIAN: Oh, that's wonderful. GEORGE: I can't believe you haven't met his wife. You're really gonna love her. She's a real talker though. Asks lots of questions. (Ominous Music) ZOE: Gucci Santa. You're real. Santa, I hope this fur is faux. SANTA: What do you need, Zoe? I've got a busy day. (Chuckling) ZOE: Right, I'm here for Jillian. You know, Welles. SANTA: Believe me, I know who Jillian is. Just tell me what she wants. ZOE: Okay, cards on the table. My girl fully admits she lied to the Poppy Dot but she wants me to assure you that she knows it was wrong and she learned her lesson and there are no hard feelings. SANTA: Indeed, there aren't. ZOE: My point is, she heard you loud and clear. Lies are bad, mission accomplished. We both know she's a decent person. She's got big things ahead of her. SANTA: Indeed, she does. ZOE: Come on, dude. Can we just remove the curse, or spell or whatever it is? SANTA: What's happening to Jillian will end SANTA: When it ends. ZOE: But she needs to be at the symphony with George today. He's counting on her. SANTA: I've got an idea or two of my own about what she needs. ZOE: Okay, let's get real here. What's it gonna take, huh? A good deed? A donation? Just putting it out there, you, me and a pair of tweezers. 15 minutes, I can make those eyebrows snatched. (Chuckling) ZOE: What do you say? (Santa Chuckling) SANTA: Goodbye, Zoe. (Coo-coo Clock Hooting) ZOE: Santa. MOTHER: All right. MEGAN: I wanna be in the front. MOTHER: No, no, into the back. You fold up easier than Grandma. Here we go. (Phone Ringing) JILLIAN: Well? ZOE: All right. I just had a conversation with Gucci Santa in a bar. What is happening? Anyway, it looks like you were right about everything. JILLIAN: I knew it. (Dramatic Music) ZOE: The problem is, he's not budging. He wouldn't give me anything, nothing. Just said it would wear off in its own time. JILLIAN: What does that mean? GEORGE: Jillian! JILLIAN: Okay. Come on! That does not help me. Okay, we're about to leave. ZOE: I'm sorry, I gave it my best sht. And I don't want to talk ill of the red, but I gotta say, he's kind of a hard-ass. Real cute on that one. Anyway, sorry. I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye. (Dramatic Music) (Sighing) GEORGE: Hey. What's the matter, are you sick? JILLIAN: No. GEORGE: All right, let's go, hop in. JILLIAN: George, I can't. GEORGE: Come on, we're already late. JILLIAN: Do you trust me, George? GEORGE: Of course I do. JILLIAN: Okay. I really wanna go with you, I really, really do. But I just feel like I've been acting so strange lately, I don't wanna embarrass you. GEORGE: You would never embarrass me. Look at you, you're perfect and I'm here. I can cover for you if I have to. But I need you, we're a team. All right? JILLIAN: I know it's a disappointment, okay? But I think that it's for the best, okay? I just, I can't go to the symphony, George. GEORGE: I don't believe this. Look, sweetie, clearly something is off with you. I can't just leave you here, alone, all day long. I'll be fine. Go. BLAKE: If you're worried about her being alone, she can always tag along with me. GEORGE: Thank you, that's nice. But I'm sure Jillian isn't interested in hanging out with Grandma and you at our cousin's place. JILLIAN: That's your previous engagement? Hanging out with your grandmother at your cousin's place? BLAKE: All right, yes or no? I gotta go too. GEORGE: Jillian? Do you wanna go to our cousin's place with Blake? JILLIAN: If it means not going to the symphony, then yes. GEORGE: The mayor's going to be there, the Festermans. They're coming from New York to support me. What will they think? JILLIAN: They're gonna think a whole lot more of you if I don't go. I'm sorry George. GEORGE: All right. JILLIAN: Okay, it's for the best. And we'll have a really great Christmas Eve. GEORGE: Promise? JILLIAN: I promise. (Dramatic Music) GEORGE: I hope so. JILLIAN: Love you, Georgie. (Car Honking) JILLIAN: Oh, God. (Upbeat Music) GRANDMA: Tell me the truth. They hate my stew, don't they? JILLIAN: Pretty much. GRANDMA: I knew it. Bunch of idiots, why didn't they just tell me? BLAKE: Hey, I told you. GRANDMA: But you were the only one. And you're a picky eater. You don't even like my pie. BLAKE: No, I like it. I just really treasure my tooth enamel. GRANDMA: Do you know how much time it takes to make that stew? Two whole days. And my house smells for a week afterwards. The only reason I make it at all is because they make such a big deal raving about it every year! JILLIAN: Well the good news is that you don't have to make it anymore. GRANDMA: No. Now I'm gonna make it all the time and gonna keep on making it and I'm gonna sit there and enjoy watching them gulp it all down. (Laughing) BLAKE: This is why I love you so much, Grandma. GRANDMA: Oh, life would be so much simpler if people would tell the truth. (Pleasant bat Music) JILLIAN: Oh, "Our Cousin's Place." I get it. ♪ Celebrate ♪ BLAKE: All right, ladies. We got some work to do. JILLIAN: What do you mean, work? I thought we were hanging out. BLAKE: Yeah, we are after. Here, you'll need this. GRANDMA: Put it on. BLAKE: All right, guys, we got our stocking of wishes and we got our stations. We're no stopping until this bag is empty. After that, come back here and party. How's that sound? (Cheering) JILLIAN: What do I do? BLAKE: I guess you're with me. (Joyful Christmas Music) JILLIAN: "Ingredients for any kind of Christmas dinner "and a small gift for my granddaughter." "I lost my job this year. "My wish would be a boy's bike for my son, "but I would be grateful for any toy I could give him." BLAKE: I need a turkey. JILLIAN: "Something for a girl, eight to ten." Glitter set and pony. GRANDMA: Corn. Potatoes, apples. Another eggnog! BLAKE: Thanks. I'll load the rest. Can you load those addresses into the GPS? JILLIAN: Okay. ♪ It's Santa's Jolly ho-ho-ho ♪ ♪ And the streets are filling up with snow ♪ ♪ Christmas ♪ ♪ This is Christmas ♪ ♪ Tonight ♪ JILLIAN: Special delivery! JILLIAN: Hi. BLAKE: You got room for a turkey? JILLIAN: Merry Christmas! ♪ Dad is holding mom under the mistletoe ♪ ♪ As they sing another verse of Let it snow ♪ BLAKE: Pretty good for a first run. JILLIAN: Why, thank you. I rather enjoyed that. BLAKE: That's what we call "sleighing it." (Laughing) GEORGE: Looking forward to that Tweet tomorrow, sir. GEORGE: Bill, Irene. So good to see you, I'm glad you could make it. BILL: Are you excited about that announcement tomorrow? GEORGE: Of course, of course. I just wish Jillian were here. She's feeling a little off today. I really wanted the two of you to meet. IRENE: Oh, that would've been so nice. JUAN: Mr. Beauman. Juan Gutierrez for the New York Banner newspaper. Care to comment on the rumors that you're about to run? A little Christmas Eve exclusive. GEORGE: Nice try, Juan. BILL: Hold on a sec, that's not a bad idea. We could make something of it. You in the house you grew up in. And you did just say you wanted Jillian to meet Irene. GEORGE: Yeah. I don't know, Jillian's, (Chuckling) GEORGE: She's not really herself right now. BILL: Oh, come on, George. A good politician knows how to seize the moment, right? GEORGE: That's a good point, that's a good point. What do you guys think? FATHER: I think it's a good point. MOTHER: It is, it's an excellent, excellent point. FATHER: It is, it's a great point. MOTHER: Yes. (Somber Blues Music) ♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas ♪ ♪ Lean your ear this way ♪ ♪ Don't you tell a single soul ♪ JILLIAN: How is your grandma? You sure she's gonna be okay? BLAKE: Oh yeah. Hazel took her home. One rendition of "Jingle Bell Rock" and a few eggnogs and she was toasted. JILLIAN: Well, ho, ho, ho. How'd you start this whole thing? BLAKE: I was at the grocery store just buying beer for a friend's party one night and there was this couple behind me. And they had just gotten off work and they were both just whipped out. She's asking him about his back and he's asking her about their bank account. Christmas was right around the corner and they were talking about how they didn't have enough money to buy presents for their kids. It was kinda hard to hear, you know? And I wanted to do something or say something or help somehow but it was awkward, so I just let it pass. JILLIAN: I mean, what can you do? BLAKE: Right. So later that night, the party ends up here and it's talent night and I lose a bet and find myself up on stage trying desperately to remember any of the lyrics to any Michael Jackson song, wishing I could be anywhere else and I look up and way in the back is that same dad from the grocery store with the bad back and he's busing tables. JILLIAN: No. BLAKE: I'm on stage and there's a group of people here and I have a microphone in my hand and if that's not a sign, then what is? There was just this moment, and for once, I took it. I pitched this and it became a thing. JILLIAN: How does George not know about all this? BLAKE: He does, sort of. I think he just thinks about it as a bunch of drunk people hanging out with a donation jar sitting on the bar counter, you know? JILLIAN: But it's so much more than that. You should share it with him. BLAKE: Yeah, well, I'm honestly kinda happy that it's off his radar. The last thing that I would want is for George to swoop in, roll up his sleeves and turn it into some kind of photo op, you know? Just kinda kll it for me. We just roll differently. JILLIAN: Yeah. ♪ Christmas Eve is coming soon ♪ ♪ Now you dear old man ♪ BLAKE: You do know at some point I'm gonna have to ask you why you're here and not at the symphony with George, right? (Cheering) (Applauding) BLAKE: Come on. What's really going on with you? HOST: Well, that's it folks. Unless anyone else wants to throw their hat in the ring. It looks Garrett, here, is gonna win the talent trophy for the third straight year. What about it? Anybody out there think they can top Garrett? JILLIAN: I can! BLAKE: I'm sorry, what? HOST: Was that a yes over there? BLAKE: We gotta yes back here. JILLIAN: I said that I can, I didn't say that I want to. BLAKE: This woman's a yes! HOST: Over there! Give it up for the smoking lady in the red. (Cheering) (Applauding) HOST: Please, tell us your name. JILLIAN: Jillian. HOST: You any good, Jillian. JILLIAN: I'm very funny. (Audience Laughing) HOST: All right, take it away. JILLIAN: Woo, thank you, guy. How's everybody doing? You guys excited for Christmas? (Cheering) JILLIAN: I'm here right now meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Meeting the parents, that's so scary, isn't it? I've only been with them for 24 hours. It only took me 24 seconds to mess the whole thing up. (Laughing) JILLIAN: Like, I don't even know what I did wrong. I'm just ruining stuff, you know? I'm a professional ruiner. "Hi, I'm Jillian. "I'm a ruiner. "I'm here to ruin Christmas for everybody. "You know, you can hire my services "with my Jillian Ruins Christmas App. "I got you, fam, I got you." (Laughing) JILLIAN: Imagine you had to get through Christmas without lying. Like, show of hands, who thinks they can get through the holidays without lying? Nobody, I don't see any hands. Now you put your hand down because you are a big liar. I can tell, I can tell from here. Like, what if you had some kind of a Christmas curse that made you have to be honest all the time? Like imagine the family dinner, you know? You're just like, "Hey, how's cousin Carol? "She's in jail, pass the cheese." Like, "What? (Laughing) JILLIAN: "I thought we all agreed she was in college." (Laughing) JILLIAN: You know, there's always like the one relative like pretending to be extra sickly in the corner just to see how much you care, you know what I mean? It's like, "Why are you on oxygen?" You know what I mean? (Laughing) JILLIAN: It's Christmas. Like it's winter time. You should be in a hospital if it's that bad, but it's not that bad. They're messing with you. They're slow playing you. (Laughing) JILLIAN: My boyfriend's mom has this weird bird fetish that has gone unchecked for years. Like, everything in the house has some kind of a bird on it. You know, you're sleeping on the goose down comforter, surrounded by angry birds. It's like she's never heard of Hitchcock at all. This is not scary at all. I went down to get some breakfast in the kitchen. It was like, "bacaw!" Suddenly I'm in a weird diorama of "The Land Before Time." (Laughing) JILLIAN: We're all under so much pressure during the holidays to put on airs, you know? To try to be someone that we think families want us to be somehow. Then there are people like Blake, over here. Blake, he doesn't put on airs or deodorant. (Laughing) JILLIAN: Smell you later. But, I mean, he's a good guy. I will tell you, when I first met Blake, I thought he was an ax mrder. I mean, he's standing there, he's hold a rusty ax. He's wearing these goggles. And you know he has that predatory stare he does. Like he's silently judging you, you know what I mean? (Laughing) JILLIAN: He's trying to price your organs. No, seriously, this guy, he's got one of those soft, chewy centers, you know? Those people have the tough exterior but once you get behind the hockey mask there's a really nice guy in there. The kind of guy who sees a family struggling and builds a whole world out of it. That brings people together and delivers Christmas presents to everyone. He's like a real life Santa Claus. (Applauding) JILLIAN: All right, so let's give it up for Blake, the ax mrder with a heart of gold and the unidentifiable finger prints, the guy who put us all together. (Cheering) JILLIAN: I love you, my name is Jillian, that's my time. Goodnight. BLAKE: Yeah! (Applauding) HOST: What do we think, people? Did she top Garrett? (Cheering) HOST: Come on people, what do you say? Who's slaying it? Garrett or Jillian? CROWD: Jillian! Jillian! CROWD: Jillian! Jillian! Jillian! Jillian! Jillian! (Cheering) HOST: That's right, this year's coveted talent trophy goes to the lady in red, it's Jillian! (Cheering) JILLIAN: Thank you so much! (Applauding) BLAKE: Wow, that was amazing, how'd it feel up there? JILLIAN: So good. I just love this big trophy. BLAKE: Hey, you earned it, congrats. JILLIAN: Thank you. You know who would not have been thrilled by all this? George. BLAKE: Ah. JILLIAN: He's projecting and protecting the image all the time. BLAKE: It's a great image. Keep it. Where did you learn how to do that? JILLIAN: True story. I grew up in a town not much bigger than this and those families we helped today, that was me. My mom was a single mom pretty much in the same predicament as that couple that you overheard at the grocery store that day. My mom, she struggled a lot. She worked really, really hard and I felt pretty helpless as a kid but there was one thing that I could do. I could make her laugh. And when she laughed, I mean, her face just lit up and all the stress just melted away. It was the best thing in the world. I bet it was. And then, for fun, me and my best friend, Zoe, we used to do these ridiculous comedy bits at the community center. BLAKE: Ah, okay. JILLIAN: Every week they had a talent show or a contest or something and we practically lived at that place. When I was 16, my mom met someone and he was nice and he had money, so suddenly I was in private school and humor was not gonna help me there. It was about image and status and poise. I just had to fit in with everybody. So, little by little, I folded up shop on who I was before and the next thing you know, I didn't feel funny anymore. BLAKE: Well, I can tell you that you definitely still got it. (Laughing) BLAKE: Honestly, that's impressive just being able to bust out a performance like that out of nowhere. JILLIAN: It's crazy but I mean, when you're out there it just goes on like a switch, you know? BLAKE: Yeah, that's a really good skill to have. JILLIAN: I guess so. I mean, in a way, when I met George he was pretty much already well known in the political sphere, so it's been helpful because I feel like I've had to be on the entire time. BLAKE: That's no way to live your life. And George, I worry about him. You know, when he makes his announcement tomorrow about his campaign with the former mayor endorsing him and this Festerman guy backing him, I mean, there's no coming back from that. For either of you. (Dramatic Music) JILLIAN: George! Oh my God, the symphony! I told him I was gonna be back to meet him! We gotta go! We gotta go, right now! JILLIAN: Wow. BLAKE: Looks like they're back. And then some. Why don't you go inside, I'll park. JILLIAN: Thanks, Blake. This day was pretty great. I felt like myself. (Chuckling) (People Chattering) GEORGE: There you are, I was getting worried. Are you feeling better? JILLIAN: I was a second ago. Mister and Misses Festerman are here. (Pleasant Music) (Somber Music) GEORGE: Yeah. The Festermans were so upset they didn't get to see you that I figured why not invite everyone from the symphony and our neighbors back to the house for a little party. JILLIAN: This is so unexpected. (Clearing Throat) GEORGE: Oh and I believe you know Juan Gutierrez. I thought you could give him a little scoop. JILLIAN: Hello, again. JUAN: You never did get back to me on clarifying that quote. JILLIAN: That's because I was sidestepping you, Juan. (Chuckling) BILL: Jillian! JILLIAN: I have to go to my room right now. GEORGE: Uh. Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go, huh? Come on, let's go have a drink. JILLIAN: Come on, pick up, pick up! Pick up! ZOE: Jillian, what happened? Did you got to the symphony? JILLIAN: No. I went to some charity thing and won a trophy at a bar. ZOE: That's cool. JILLIAN: Then George went and brought the Festermans back from the symphony along with a reporter. ZOE: Not cool. JILLIAN: I can't lie, I can't spin. What am I gonna do? (Knocking) GEORGE: Jillian, the Festermans are waiting for you downstairs and so is Mr. Gutierrez. I don't understand what's going on with you. It's like you've checked out. This is crunch time for us, for the campaign. Are you coming down? JILLIAN: Damn it. I am getting way too good at this. ZOE: Stop jumping out of houses. JILLIAN: It's just one house over and over again. (Sighing) JILLIAN: I don't know what I'm gonna do. I cannot go back in there. ED: Hey. (Gasping) ED: What're you doing out here without a coat? Oh, Megan left her bear in the car. Come on, it's cold as, it's cold. JILLIAN: Uh huh. Wish me luck. ED: What was that? JILLIAN: Huh? Oh, burr. (Chuckling) ED: Hey, found Megan's bear and Jillian. JUAN: Great, you're back. Miss Welles, I really need clarification-- GEORGE: There you are. JILLIAN: George, please come outside with me right now. I've gotta tell you something. BILL: There you are, finally. Irene was beginning to think we made you up. You're one hard lady to pin down, Jillian. So, why so illusive? JILLIAN: I've got a file on you that I've been keeping from George. BILL: Is there something you'd like to ask me, young lady? JILLIAN: Yes. What is the first favor you're gonna ask of George when he gets elected? I mean, between the lawsuits and the girlfriends, sorry, you're not exactly the greatest guy. I mean, five years ago, you bat out a charter school to get that city owned barge for your restaurant and you promised 10 scholarships a year as a stipulation. I checked. You've never given one single scholarship. I knew all of this and I didn't say anything because I wanted it all so much. The big backer, the access to other donors, the campaign, the job opportunities, it brought you. I told myself it was just politics. I tried to justify it. I just thought that if you got elected we could do so much good. GEORGE: Jillian. JILLIAN: I ruined everything. This whole weekend. The campaign. I'm so sorry. GEORGE: No, Jillian. Jillian! JILLIAN: I'm sorry. (Somber Music) (Bell Ringing) SANTA: Ho-ho-ho, happy holidays. (Phone Ringing) JILLIAN: Hi. SANTA: Rough night? JILLIAN: I had it all right at my fingertips. The guy, the campaign, the job interest. Now I feel like I've just blown everything. For the record, I am sorry I lied to the little girl. SANTA: Bethany? Don't worry about her. You wouldn't believe some of the doozies that one told. The truth is, she didn't even want the Poppy Dot. She just thought she did. Poppy Dot became an "it toy." The one everyone has to have. So, naturally, she thought that's what she wanted to. She thought it would make her happy. Happens all the time. To people of all ages. JILLIAN: Until all this happened, I had no idea how much I was lying to people. I thought it was just part of the job, you know? A little spin here, a little spin there. Saying I didn't recall when I clearly did. Flipping the script, you know? Then, one day, spinning just spun into lying. Thinking it was okay to get funded by somebody like Festerman. SANTA: There are big lies and small lies, white lies. But it's the lies we tell ourselves that do the most harm. The ones about who we really are, what will make us happy. Well, I've got a long night in front of me. Merry Christmas, Jillian. JILLIAN: Merry Christmas, Gucci Santa. (Laughing) SANTA: Oh. And if you're interested. All is not lost. All your possibilities are still open. JILLIAN: I doubt that. Nobody's gonna believe what happened except for Zoe. And we all know I can't lie. SANTA: You can say anything you'd like. (Laughing) SANTA: Ho, ho, ho, ho! (Phone Dial Tone Buzzing) (Phone Chiming) ZOE: Are you okay? JILLIAN: Quick, ask me what snow is made of. ZOE: What's snow made of? JILLIAN: Cheese and avocados. (Laughing) JILLIAN: I can lie! But a lot of good it's gonna do me now. ZOE: Girl, check your Quixxi Gram. JILLIAN: For what? ZOE: Just do it. JILLIAN: "Tonight I witnessed a Christmas Miracle. "On the eve of announcing his candidacy for Mayor, "Councilman George Beauman turned down "a promised campaign donation from Bill Festerman "on ethical grounds." I don't believe it! George did the right thing. He turned it around. Expert spin. Merry Christmas. ZOE: Merry Christmas, woo! (Dramatic Music) JILLIAN: Did you see? MOTHER: Oh, I know, my phone is blwing up. Is that the right term? FATHER: My phone won't stop ringing either. It's also blwing up. JILLIAN: Where is George? Hey. GEORGE: Hey. You went running out here so fast, I wasn't mad at you. I was just surprised. And you were just doing your job, right? JILLIAN: Actually, I think it's time I rethought my job. GEORGE: Well, after you exposed Festerman for who he really was, I decided to take a gamble. JILLIAN: You can't buy that kind of publicity, George. You're gonna make a great mayor. GEORGE: You think? JILLIAN: Yeah. GEORGE: I've been waiting for the right moment to ask you since you got here. JILLIAN: Have you noticed that in the short time that we've been away here, when we haven't had to be on, that we really are very different people. In a way, I feel like you haven't gotten to meet the real me yet. And being here, I've kinda gotten back in touch with who that is. The truth is, when I started out, what I wanted to do was be involved and make a difference. Somehow, I lost sight of that. I don't wanna spend my life consulting for other people. And I don't think I'm ready to be a wife either. I need to just stand on my own for a bit and redefine my own path. MOTHER: I'm never gonna get a wedding, am I? JILLIAN: Please, I hope you understand. (Somber Music) GEORGE: Somehow, I do. Come here. JILLIAN: George. (Upbeat Music) GEORGE: Merry Christmas. I'm City Councilman, George Beauman, here at home, with my family for the holidays and I'd like to take the opportunity to announce, in case you haven't heard, that I am running for Mayor of New York City. (Phone Chiming) POPPY DOT: Poppy Dot loves everyone! THERESA: Thank you, Jillian. JILLIAN: It's the least I could do, Theresa. THERESA: I'm really glad you're doing this. I'm so proud of you. JILLIAN: Wish me luck. THERESA: Go get 'em. JILLIAN: Hello. I'm Jillian Welles here at the East Side Community Center's Pancake Breakfast and Rally for the City Oasis Project. This place is incredibly special to me and that's why I wanted it to be here that I announce that I am running for City Council. (Applauding) (Upbeat Music) (Ending Credit Music)	{"type": "movie", "show": "The Truth About Christmas (2018)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Ms. Claus: Have you ever been told of that faithful year? When Christmas almost didn't happen. It is everyone's worst fear There was no one to take Santa's big sack of toys and deliver the presents to the world's good girls and boys. But this christmas season didn't begin with any trouble at fuss, it began with some singing like all christmas' must. [Elves] It's Christmas time, A jolly time A Sleigh and snow and holly time let's huddle tight for Christmas night is ever drawing near! When Santa rides on Christmas eve we elves will stand and cheer our toys fill the sleigh for the holiday when Santa comes each year! It's Christmas time, oh jolly time it's sleigh and snow and holly time! Bake the cookies trim the tree save some treats for you and me. Build a fre, not too hot! Put some cider in the pot! Helping others is the reason for the joy of christmas season (car honks) Santa Claus: It's christmas time! Ho, ho, ho, ho! Come on everybody, here we go! Bob: Uh, Sir, you'll be happy to know that toy production is up to 18 precent from this time last year. Santa Claus: 18 precent? Excellent Bob! As long as everyone is having fun! Ho Ho Ho! How are the babies coming along? Elf: See for yourself Santa. Santa Claus: Easy there, little fella. I got you. You'll be leading my sleigh in no time. Santa Claus: Tinsel. Tinsel: Over here, sir. Santa Claus: Tinsel, the youngest elf ever to be my chief mechanic. How is that new super sleigh of yours coming? Tinsel: Well sir. It just needs to be tested. Santa Claus: Tinsel, your father would be so proud of you. Bob: Santa? We have no idea, if this new contraption is even safe. Santa Claus: Well I know one way to find out, first thing tomorrow, I want you to hitch up the team, I'm taking Tinsel's super sleigh up for a little spin. Tinsel: You mean it sir? Wahoo! Bob: Oh, sir! I, would be oh... [Elves] When Santa rides on Christmas Eve We elves will stand and cheer our toys fill the sleigh for the holiday when Santa comes each year! When Santa rides on Christmas eve We elves will stand and cheer our toys fill the sleigh for the holiday! The time is drawing near! Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Mrs Claus: Now, that very same day, near the south mountain range. Heat miser and snow miser were at it again! Heat Miser: So... today's the day, huh, blizzard brain? Snow Miser: Same time every year inferno face. Heat Miser: Well, let's just go and get it over with, okay? Snow Miser: Chill out, hot head. It's family. (Slides down) Ha, ha! Heat Miser: Yo oh! Easy for you to say. Mother always did like you best. Snow Miser: What can I say, people like things cool like me. Heat Miser: Cool? Yeah? Well, well maybe I should heat things up for you, brother dear! Snow Miser: And, and maybe I should knock you out cold. (thundering ) Mother Nature: Now, boys! You both know there's absolutely no fighting on the day of the family reunion. Heat & Snow Miser: Yes, mother dear... Mother Nature: Now come along and behave yourselves. You're both already late. Heat & Snow Miser: Yes, mother dear. (growl) Mother Nature: There you are boys. Come, the family. Alright now, let's have a total report on the balance of nature. We'll need to hear from the Tides, Lightning and Thunder, Earthquake all of my children. Now who would like to start? North Wind: Allow me mother. The north wind ready to report. But before I begin, let me just say how good it is to see you again, Mother Nature. You look better every year. Here I brought you a gift. (snap) Mother Nature: Oh, how thoughtful. Heat Miser: Goodie, goodie. Snow Miser: Mama's boy. North Wind: Everything is running with one hundred percent efficiency in my territory. The winds from the north are on time and on schedule. Heat Miser: (Snoring) Boring. Snow Miser: (Yawns) Wake me when it's over. North Wind: Hmph! I do have one concern. but no no, I don't want to trouble you, mother Mother Nature: No, please, go ahead, dear. North Wind: Well Mother, It's the children. The good children of the world. We need to make sure they all get their Christmas presents. Mother Nature: You don't need to worry about that, dear. That's Santa's job. North Wind: Of course, Mother. But what if-- heaven--forbid something should happen to Santa Claus? What if he was not able to deliver presents on Christmas. (Everyone cross talks) Snow Miser: Who cares? Heat Miser: Uh, I can't remember the last time Santa Claus brought us any presents. Mother Nature: Tatata pshaw! Something happen to Santa? I don't even like to think about it. Taking Santa's place would be a huge responsibility. But if it did happen, the north pole does fall under your territory. North Wind: It's a heavy burden to bear, Mother. But, but I'll do it. For the children of the world, I'll do it. Heat Miser: What a wind bag. Mother Nature: Very well. Thank you, dear. Now, let's hear from the Miser brothers. Heat and Snow. And please, let's try to keep this civil for once. Heat Miser: My dear brother has been running a campaign of pure. Propaganda to try to give global warming a bad name. Snow Miser: Oh-ho, puh-leeze. How long have you been trying to scare people with reports of another ice age coming? Heat Miser: What about you naming Iceland so you can claim it as yours? There's hardly any ice there at all! Snow Miser: You did the same thing only with Greenland. Greenland is covered with ice! It's not green! Heat Miser: (clears throat) It will be when I'm done with it. Snow Miser: Over my melted body! Heat Miser: (grunts) I can arranged that! Mother Nature: (thunder clap) Enough! Mother Nature: How many times must I tell you two? No more fighting. I know you are opposite forces, but you must find a way to exist together in balance and harmony. What would either of you be without the other? Heat & Snow Miser: Yes, Mother dear... Mother Nature: You've made so much mess... just look at that table. Get the broom, do it now. Bob: Oh, uh, sir, are you sure you should be doing this? Santa Claus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Don't worry. If my chef mechanic says it's okay, that's good enough for me! Right Tinsel? Tinsel: Aye-eye! Santa Claus: Okay, let's get this sleigh off the ground. Ho Ho Ho Tinsel: Woo Hoo! North Wind: Santa Claus has just left the safety of his castle... (laughs) Soon I'll be the one that kids write letters to, that people write songs and poems about. All I need is Santa out of the way and Christmas will be mine! Get going. And remember, make it look like an accident. (Laughs evilly) Heat Miser: (Yawns) Nothing like getting up in the morning to a glorious view of the beautiful sun. He he-wha? Snow Miser: Hey there, hot head! How do you like my new addition? Heat Miser: (Steams) Addition? You're blocking my view of the sun! Two can play at this game... Snow Miser: Hey, hey! That totally blocks my cool mountain breeze, man. Take that down! Heat Miser: Take yours down first, snow cone brain! Take it down or I'll blast it down! Snow Miser: If that's how you want to play it... Heat Miser: Owe! (whistles) Elf: Santa, do you copy? Over. Santa Claus: Ho, Ho, Ho! I just passed by thousand feet! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Mrs Claus: Take it easy, Pa. No loops now you hear? Santa Claus: Of course not, Ma... wouldn't think of it. North Wind Minions: (whispering) Santa Claus: Woo-hoo, Tinsel, she handles like a dream! Tinsel: Gee, thanks! Santa Claus: I'm heading back now. Oh, no. The Miser Brothers! Elf: Santa is headed right into Heat Miser and Snow Miser's crossfire! Mrs Claus: Santa! Pull out of there! Santa Claus: I'm ht! I'm ht! I'm going down! Whoa! I'm ht! Heat Miser: Hey, no. It can't be That isn't... Snow Miser: Santa Claus! Hold your fre boys! Woah! Heat Miser: Stop shting! It's Santa Claus! Stop! Heat & Snow Miser: Oh, no! Mom is going to kll us. Santa Claus: I can't pull out of this. I'm cutting the reindeer loose. Tinsel: Sir! There's an emergency parachute lever under the console! Pull it! Bob: Santa? Are you okay? Santa? Mrs Claus: Santa dear? Santa Claus: I'm fine. Chutes opened. (back cracks) Oh! My back! Elf: Well, Santa is going to be fine, just fine, That's the good news... Mrs Claus: And the bad news? Elf: Well, I'm afraid he's thrown out that bad back of his again. He needs to be confined to bed. Santa Claus: For how long? Elf: Two to three weeks. Santa Claus: Weeks? It's Christmas! I'm Santa Claus! I have things to do! This is all ridiculous! I'm fine, I just... ( back cracks) Oh! Elf: He needs rest. Absolutely no work. Bob: Two or three weeks? But what about Christmas? Mrs. Claus: It won't be easy but we'll just have to do our best without him. Tinsel: (sighs) Mrs. Claus: Tinsel... it's not your fault. Tinsel: Maybe if I had made the sleigh stronger, or if I put some more of thing under the- Mrs. Claus: No, Tinsel... there are only two people to blame for all this. Mother Nature: That's right, Mrs. Claus I'm going to see to it that they get the punishment they deserve. Care to join me. Mother Nature: I warned you that your feuding would lead to trouble. Now look what you've done. Christmas is approaching and Santa is laid up with a bad back. North Wind: Mother, I came as soon as I heard the news! Santa Claus! It's terrible. North Wind: Fortunately, I'm ready to step in and take over-- Mother Nature: Oh, don't worry, dear. Santa is fine. North Wind: He is? Oh, he is. Thank goodness. I was so worried. Mother Nature: Santa will make a full recovery in time for next Christmas. As for this Christmas, I have something else in mind, as long as Mrs. Claus will agree. Mrs. Claus: Agree to what exactly? Mother Nature: Agree to force heat miser and snow miser. To put aside their differences and work together to take Santa's place this year. Tinsel: The Miser Brothers! But they don't know anything about Christmas! Mother Nature: Ah, well, maybe not. But maybe learning a little something about Christmas will do these two some good. What do you say, Mrs. Claus? Mrs. Claus: Well, I must admit, I'm a bit skeptical myself. But if you think it's a good idea. Mother Nature: I do. And believe me, these two wouldn't dare disappoint me. Will you? Heat & Snow Miser: No mother dear. Mrs Claus: Well, I just hope you're right. Because I'm afraid if this doesn't work. There may not be any Christmas at all. North Wind: Oh, there's going to be a Christmas, Mrs. Claus... Ha ha ha! It's just going to be my kind of Christmas! I just need to find a way to lure Santa out of the safety of his castle and make sure that he never returns. Then, the world will meet a new Santa and it will be me! Haha Haha Ha! It's my kind of Christmas; A cold windy Christmas, and I am the cool guy on the scene. Well, I'm taking over. Who needs Santa? He's just a hasbeen; can't you see? It's over This Christmas; no Santa; just me. I'll be number one; I'll get the job done. I'll fre the elves and do it all by myself. Hey! I won't need a sleigh; send the reindeer away; I don't really care, as long as it's me who's there. They won't miss Santa; there won't be a Santa. No ho ho. I'll step right over Santa's little shoulder, When I am the cool guy on the scene. I'll give out the toys To all the girls and boys As long as they know that it was me. It's over. This Christmas; no Santa; just me. You'll be number one. That's right. You'll get the job done. Yep. I'll fre the elves and do it all by myself Hey! I won't need a sleigh; send the reindeer away! I don't really care, as long as it's me who's there. They won't miss Santa; there won't be a Santa. It's over It's over It's over It's over! This Christmas; no Santa; just me!!! Ha Ha Haha Haha Bob: Ahem, Now, I'll try to bring you up to speed on basic operations. Snow Miser: You might want to leave some extra room in the waist. My brother tends to pack up from weight around to the holidays. Heat Miser: And you might want to pull my brother's hat over that icicle face so he doesn't scare all the good little children around the world. Snow Miser: Oh you'll have to excuse my brother. Mother never gave him much attention as a child. She liked me better. Heat Miser: That does it! Bob: Gentlemen, please! Bob: There's work to be done. Our production is already down 22 percent! Snow Miser: Chill, my man. I happen to have some ideas that will get this place running smoother than a glacier. Chop, chop. Heat Miser: And I happen to know how we can fre things up around here. (Whistles) Elf: Woah! Bob: Oh! Bob: Mrs. Claus! I'm sorry to bother you, Mrs. Claus, but I think you need to see this! Mrs. Claus: What is it, Bob? Aren't the Miser Brothers running the toy factory? Bob: Oh, oh, they're running it alright! See for yourself. Mrs Claus: Oh, oh my! I'm Mister White Christmas, I'm Mister Snow. I'm Mister Icicle; I'm Mister Ten below. Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch, Turns to snow in my clutch. I'm too much. I'm Mister Green Christmas, I'm Mister Sun. I'm Mister Heat Blister, I'm Mister 101. They call me Heat Miser, whatever I touch Starts to melt in my clutch. Hehehehaha I'm too much! He's Mister White Christmas, he's Mister Snow. He's Mister Icicle; he's Mister Ten below. Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch, Turns to snow in my clutch. He's too much. Ahh, thank you! I never want to know a day that's over 40 degrees, I'd rather have it 30, 20, 10, 5 and let it freeze! He's Mister Green Christmas, he's Mister Sun. He's Mister Heat Blister, he's Mister 101. They call me Heat Miser, whatever I touch Starts to melt in my clutch. He's too much. I never want to know a day that's under 60 degrees, I'd rather have it 80, 90, 100 degrees! He's Mister White Christmas, He's mr. sun He's Mister Icicle he's Mister 101. Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch, Turns to snow/starts to melt in my clutch He's too much! Heha! Too much! Heat Miser: Green Christmas! Snow Miser: White Christmas! Mrs Claus: Oh, my. I'm afraid we're going to have to do something drastic. Christmas is depending on it. Mrs. Claus: So Christmas was coming, it was almost here, but with Santa laid up, it became our worst fear... Heat Miser and Snow Miser were now in charge of Santa's toy shop. But their fighting and feuding made everything grind to a stop. Bob: Oh, with Heat Miser and Snow Miser fighting all the time. I'm afraid toy manufacturing is down to zero. Mrs. Claus: There must be a way to get those two to put aside their differences and work together. Santa Claus: I don't know, ma... if you could just take a look at their history on the naughty and nice list--well is not very pretty. Mrs Claus: The naughty and nice list, oh... that gives me an idea that might just work. Heat Miser: I say we begin delivering presents in the south. Snow Miser: And I say we begin in the north, of course. Heat Miser: Why you! Mrs. Claus: Hold on there, boys. Hold everything... now there's another important part of Santa's operation that you still have to see. Snow Miser: Wow! Mrs. Claus: This is the central operation for Santa's naughty and nice list. Elf #1: Penny dickens in chicago just cleaned her room! (The elves cheered) Elf #2: Uh-oh. Jacques Marcel in paris just went to bed without brushing his teeth (All elves are disgusted) Heat Miser: You mean to tell me that it all gets recorded here? Snow Miser: The good and bad deeds of every kid, all over the world? Mrs. Claus: That's right boys. Heat Miser: That's totally hot. Snow Miser: That's totally cool. Mrs. Claus: Ah, but that's not all we can also go into the archives and look at the lists from years ago. Mrs. Claus: Watch. Heat Miser: (gasps) Look! Snow Miser: That's us! Mrs. Claus: Of course, those that end up on the naughty list usually don't start out that way something usually goes wrong. When you fight day and night. You know it isn't right that we must live in harmony Who is better than a brother He's the best of all the others. Brothers should be friends. But things get rough. And life's too tough He'll go the extra mile and make it better with his smile. Who is better than a brother? He's the best of all the others Brothers should be friends. Treat your brother with respect and he will treat you well Listen when he talks to you do the things he likes to do Show him love and don't attck and you will get the love right back Who is better than a brother There really is no other Brothers should be friends Heat Miser: That's why we didn't get presents from Santa. Snow Miser: We we're always on the naughty list for fighting with each other. Always. Mrs. Claus: That's right. But it's never too late to change. He's Mister White Christmas, he's Mister Snow. He's Mister Icicle; he's Mister Ten below. Friends call him Snow Miser, whatever he'll touch, Turns to snow in his clutch. He's too much. He's Mister Green Christmas, he's Mister Sun. Love ya! He's Mister Heat Blister, he's Mister 101. They call him Heat Miser, whatever he'll touch Starts to melt in his clutch. He's too much! We're too much! Too much! (Mrs. Claus claps) North Wind: Hmm, So my foolish brothers are pulling Christmas off after all. That gives me the perfect idea... All I need to do is break up the touching reunion between Heat Miser and Snow Miser and make sure that they're too busy fighting with each other to deliver Santa's presents. When Santa finds out that Christmas is in danger, he'll have to get out bed and make the trip himself... and that will be the last the world ever sees the last of him. Don't touch the hair! Wait until they catch wind of their new Santa... Me! (Laughs evilly) Snow Miser: All loaded and ready to fly. Heat Miser: Ah, yes. I insist we begin our deliveries in the north. Snow Miser: Ha, ha. Don't be silly. We'll start in the south and work our way back. Elves: (cheering) Go go go! You can do it! Snow Miser: Well folks. It's showtime! Let's stay frosty. Heat Miser: You mean, let's get warmed up? Snow Miser: Hot! Hot! Cold! Heat Miser: C-c-c-cold! Snow Miser: Now what's this all about, boiling brains? Planning on secretly melting a few ice caps while we were flying over my turf? Heat Miser: What about you, planning on making it snow when we flew over the tropics? You've been planning this all along, trying to gain my trust, so you could turn the world into one big White Christmas! Snow Miser: What about you? Pretending to bury the hatchet with me so you could spread a green Christmas all over the globe! Mrs Claus: Now, now, boys! You have come too far to let a little misunderstanding. Mrs Claus: And so here we are on Christmas eve night, just minutes from Christmas with no hope in sight. Oh, but, Santa. You should be in bed! Santa Claus: Somebody has to deliver the presents. The children count on us. Now let's get the team hitched up. Mrs. Claus: Be careful, Santa. Bob: Yes, yes, please be careful. North Wind: There he is. This time we're going to make sure Christmas will be mine forever. Mrs Claus: Hold on you two. Please, please, stop! Snow Miser: None of this would have happened if hot head over there hadn't sh*t Santa out of the sky! Heat Miser: Me? You've always been the cold-hearted one! Mrs. Claus: It was neither of you. Heat & Snow: Huh? Tinsel: See/ These were unscrewed on purpose! This was sabotage! Mrs. Claus: But who would do such a thing. Heat Miser: Our brother, Mr. Goodie-goodie himself. Snow Miser: The North Wind. Because if something happens to Santa Claus. Heat Miser: He takes over. Mrs. Claus: (Gasps) And Santa is out there all alone! We need to do something if it isn't too late. Bob: Oh! What can we do? You'll never be able to catch Santa now! Oh dear! Tinsel: We can with this! I'll have it running in no time! Mrs. Claus: But Tinsel-- there's no reindeer team left to pull it! Tinsel: I have an idea. Elf: Are you rady, dobler? Elf: Tinsel, we are good to go. Heat Miser: What are we suppose to say here? Giddy-up? Tally ho? Snow Miser: Yeah, is it like up, up and away or something? (whistles) (Elves cheering) Snow Miser: Woohoo! Santa: Woah North Wind: Sorry, Santa, but your time is at an end. Christmas is mine, once and for all! (Laughs) North Wind: You'll be lost in this vortex forever! (Laughs) Santa: Woah! Woah! Tinsel: Santa! Hang on, sir! Tinsel: Easy. Easy. Santa Claus: I'm coming. (His back cracks) My back! Oh! Snow Miser: Santa! Tinsel: Oh! (Snow Miser and Heat Miser scream) Santa Claus: No! Snow Miser: Well, I guess this is it. Heat Miser: Yup, yup. I just wanted to say- -even after all we've been through I still can't stand you. Snow Miser: You took the words right out of my mouth, Brother. North Wind: Grunts Tinsel: Don't worry, sir. You're safe now. North Wind: Not yet he isn't! (Laughs) North Wind: Huh? What? Oh, let me out of there. Oh, how dare you! Heat Miser: (screams) Too high! Too high! Snow Miser: Ah, just don't look down! Snow Miser: (screams) Santa Claus: Ho Ho Ho! Elf: Look! (Elves cheering) North Wind: Let me out of here! Gaa! Heat Miser: Well, well, well. Mr. Windbag himself. Snow Miser: Someone's been a very naughty boy. North Wind: Ha! So what? You two have no authority over me. Snow Miser: Maybe not. Heat Miser: But we know someone who does... Heat & Snow Miser: Oh, mother...! North Wind: Owe! Owe! Let Go! Mother Nature: You won't need to worry about this one. I'll see to it he's doing chores for me for the next several thousand years. North Wind: Oh! But mother! I wanted to be... (thunder) Mother Nature: Now what about my other two boys? Bob: Ahem. Heat Miser: Oh, the nice list! Snow Miser: We finally made the nice list! Bob: (grunting) Okay Heat Miser: That is so cool! Snow Miser: No, no, that is totally hot! So hot! Hot! Mother Nature: I had a feeling a little Christmas spirit is just what these two needed. Santa Claus: I hate to break up this celebrations. But my back is still out. Those presents still need to be delivered all over the world. Any volunteers? Heat Miser: We be honored to do it. Snow Miser: Together. Heat Miser: Ha ha! He he! (whistles) Elves: Wow! It's Christmas time, A jolly time A Sleigh and snow and holly time let's huddle tight for Christmas night is ever drawing near! When Santa rides on Christmas eve we elves will stand and cheer our toys fill the sleigh for the holiday when Santa comes each year! When Christmas comes and friends are here We feel the peace and love. This time of the year always brings good cheer And blessings from above! Snow Miser: Merry christmas! Heat Miser: Merry Christmas!	{"type": "movie", "show": "A Miser Brothers' Christmas (2008)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Sugar, spice, and everything nice These were the ingredients chosen To create the perfect little girls But Professor Utonium accidentally Added an extra ingredient to the concoction-- Chemical X Thus, The Powerpuff Girls were born Using their ultra-super powers Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup Have dedicated their lives to fighting crime And the forces of evil! Narrator: 'Twas the city of Townsville, and all through the town, All the townsfolk are stirring as snow's falling down. It's bitter and freezing in the dad of December, But there's reason for joy, if you can remember. For it's this time of year that our story unfolds, When our hearts are the warmest, despite all the cold. Yes, it is Christmas, just two days before, And all through the town, none can wait anymore... For the timely arrival of one certain fat guy... Who brings us all goodies from out of the sky. Full of anticipation are these urban folks, None more so than the students at old Pokey Oaks. Ms. Keane: Thank you, Billy. Well, thank you, Kristen. Thank you, Clara. Santa doll: Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! Christmas time is in a few days, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Santa'll give me lots of toys, yay, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Buttercup: Bubbles! I'm trying to concentrate! Bubbles: I'm only trying to spread some Christmas cheer. Buttercup: Well, can it! I'm busy. Blossom: Doing what? Buttercup: Writing my wish list for Santa. Bubbles: Are you crazy? You're only giving him two days to prepare - and that's even if he gets it on time! Buttercup: Oh, yeah? When did you send yours, smarty-pants? Bubbles: December 26. Buttercup: Hah! That's after Christmas. Bubbles: December 26, last year. (raspberry.) Buttercup: Oh, no! What if I don't get my official Red Raider carbine-action two- hundred-sht range-model air rfle? Princess Morebucks: Hah! Who would want a stupid old BB gn? Girls: (Gasps) Princess! Princess: Besides, you'll sh*t your eye out. Since my daddy buys me anything I want, I only have one thing on my list for Santa: to be a Powerpuff Girl! Blossom: Don't hold your breath, Princess. Princess: What?! Why? Bubbles: Because Santa has his own list, and he checks it twice. It says who's naughty and who's nice. Princess: So? Bubbles: Duh! You're naughty. Princess: (Gasps) Nuh-uh! Blossom: Yeah-huh. Princess: Nuh-uh! Buttercup: Yeah-huh. Princess: Nuh-uh! Bubbles: Yeah-huh! Princess: Prove it! Blossom: You bought the city and legalized crime! Buttercup: You hired Mojo to try and destroy us! Bubbles: You gave us a bmb for our birthday! Buttercup: You teamed up with three felons and went on a crime spree! Bubbles: You tricked our friend Robin into stealing, and then you tattled on her! Blossom: You're a spoiled brat who's greedy and jealous, and you don't care who you step on to get what you want! Princess: And your point is...? Girls: (sigh) Blossom: The point, Princess, is that you better change your ways, or all you're ever gonna get from Santa is a big fat lump of coal in your stocking. Santa doll: Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho (kick) Kids: Cheering Ms. Keane: Okay, kids...ooh! Hold your horses. Kids: Cheering Ms. Keane: Bye-bye now. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Be nice for Santa. Ms. Keane: Remember: he's watching you. Ms. Keane: Ooh! (suspenceful music) Princess: Spoiled?! Greedy?! Bratty?! Naughty?! Naughty?! Driver! Do you know what those rotten awful Powerpuffs said to me today? Princess: They said I was naughty! Can you believe that? Driver: (coughs) Princess: Me? Naughty? I'm not naughty, am I? Driver: Well, uh...I'll...oops! Seems my finger has slipped. Whew. That was close. (telephone ring) Princess: (over phone) Well? You didn't answer my question! Driver: (imitating static) You're-you're-you're breaking up!...I'm going through a...unnel...alk...late... Princess: (pounding the glass) No, we're not! I'm in the car, you twit! Princess: Servant, tell me. Do you think that I'm naughty? Princess: WELL? Servant: (stammering) I think my...biscuits are burning. Princess: Nanny! Nanny: Yes? Sweetheart? Princess: Am I naughty? Nanny: Time for bed! Lights out. Princess: Wait! I need another pillow! Fine! I'll just go get it myself! Princess: Naughty, huh? I'll show you who's naughty! Princess: And all these years I thought that coal in my stocking came from Daddy's coal mine! Princess: Who does that blimp think he is, denying me presents? Princess: Oh! Well, this time I am gonna be a Powerpuff Girl! And I'm sure not gonna let some elf with a weight problem stop me! Princess: Hah! Well, I'll show him - and I'll show those Powerpukes who's naughty and who's nice! Narrator: She entered her jet, to her man gave a yell, And away Princess went, with a plot, I can tell. Princess: To the North Pole! And step on it! Narrator: And left no one aware of the web she would weave... Not even the girls, preparing for Christmas Eve. Blossom: Okay. On the count of three. One...two...three! Bubbles, Buttercup: I win! I get to put the star on the tree! Blossom: I don't think so. Buttercup: Aw, man! Bubbles: No fair! Blossom: Okay, Professor! Professor: Here we go! (Chuckles) Girls, Professor: Ooooh! Girls, Professor: Awwww... Girls, Professor: Ooooh! Awwww... Girls: (Gasps) Awwww... Professor: (moaning) Not again! Professor: Every year it's the same darn thing. I can make three little kids out of seasoning, but I can't get these lights to work! Narrator: Ahh, Professor, get to it. You fix up those lights. Everything must be perfect on this most happy of nights. Townspeople: (to the tune of "Deck the Halls") Public domain Christmas songs, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Narrator: A night so many people throughout the whole city... Share with brother and sister, Mom, Dad, puppy, and kitty. Narrator: And all of the gn are waiting with glee, Thinking only of morn and what's under that tree. Narrator: And not just the children, the teenagers too. Narrator: Chuck wants a football. Narrator: Kathleen, a tattoo. The grownups as well have gifts that they crave. Ms. Keane only wishes for Mitch to behave. Narrator: A My Little Horsey with combable hair... Is on the top of the list of our honorable Mayor. Narrator: Ms. Bellum longs for a facial made of sea salt and moss... To ease stress she endures from her ridiculous boss. Narrator: And even those foes with hearts full of spite... Also eagerly await the gifts they'll get tonight. Narrator: And beyond the boundaries of this particular town, More hoping and wishing can be found all around. Narrator: The whole world's fallen under the Santa Claus spell. And on this eve of all eves, their hearts start to swell. From Paraguay to Paree, from Tucson to Timbuktu, The world's children are hoping their dreams will come true. Narrator: But these dreams are about to be foiled... By an evil young girl who's nothing but spoiled. (spy music) Princess: Stupid snow! Stupid floor! Princess: Ahhh! Ho ho ho! (Approching Elf Voices) Fat elf: And I said, "If you want a wooden duck whittled, that there is your man." Thin elf: The man can whittle. Fat elf: Oh, he sure can. Whittle, whittle, whittle, whittle, whittle. (spy music) Princess: (yelp) Princess: Now, if I were a big fat bearded oaf... ...where would I keep a stupid list? Princess: "Nice. Agatha Aarons, Arnold Adams..." Princess: (raspberries) "Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup"? "Mitch Mitchelson"?! You gotta be kidding me! "Zachary Zimmerman." Where's my name? (Angry sigh) (angry yell) (suspenceful music) (gasps) Princess: "Naughty." "Princess Morebucks." (maniacal Laughter) Narrator: She spoke not a word; she had finished her work, And took leave of her lie with a satisfied smirk. Narrator: Meanwhile, three children we know are heading to bed... With thoughts of the morning and what lies ahead. Narrator: The girls drift off to sleep, their hopes at their heights, While their dad is downstairs, still working on the lights. Narrator: But there's yet one more little girl filled with anticipation, Not for worldwide rejoicing, but her plot's activation. Narrator: An evil gleam in her eye, this little redhead... Is the sole one aware there is something to dread. Narrator: She knows that these fools, content in their sleep, Will, because of her, awaken and weep. For tomorrow, the world is in for a big huge surprise... Not candy and presents, but Christmas' demise! (roof creaking) (sleighbells) Bubbles: (giggling) Girls! Girls! Girls! Wake up! I heard Santa! He's been here! Bubbles: (giggling) Professor: (snoring) Bubbles: (Gasps) I know I heard him. Bubbles: What? The stockings! Bubbles: (Gasps) No! Bubbles: No, no, no, no! ...Noooo! Bubbles: WAKE UP! Buttercup: Yay! Presents! Let's go, baby! Bubbles: No! Blossom: Whoo-hoo! Bubbles: But wait! Buttercup: What the heck? Blossom: Santa hasn't even been here yet! Bubbles: Yeah-huh. I heard reindeer on the roof. Buttercup: Oh, yeah? Then where are all the presents? Bubbles: That's what I've been trying to tell you! THERE ARE NO PRESENTS! Blossom, Buttercup: What?!? Bubbles: (rapid fre) Listen, okay, okay. Me and Octi were dancing with pirates in a pond, when a man in a gorilla suit started yelling. So I woke up, and then I heard Santa on the roof. And I tried to wake you up, but I couldn't, 'cause you wouldn't wake up. So I went down the hallway, and the Professor was snoring... ...so I came downstairs to see what Santa left... ...even though I know I'm not supposed to. But there weren't any presents under the tree, just ornaments hanging! Like that cute little shoveling-snowman one, which is really my favorite because it's funny that a snowman would be shoveling snow, when he's made of snow! (giggles) So then I looked in my stocking, but there wasn't candy. Instead, there was coal! Can you believe it? Coal! In my stocking! Which is just ridiculous, 'cause why would Santa give me coal? So I looked in your stockings, and there was coal there too! So I looked next door, and they didn't have any gifts either! Only coal in their stockings, and all the other kids on the block! Blossom: (angrily) You went through other kids' stockings? Bubbles: No! I saw through the houses. Duh! X-ray vision! Blossom: Bubbles, you should know better. Buttercup: No wonder you got coal in your stocking. Bubbles: (snarling) I already had coal in my stocking before I looked at the other kids' stockings! Buttercup: Oh, really? Then why don't me and Blossom have coal in our stockings? Bubbles: You do! Blossom: Me? Buttercup: You gotta be kidding. Blossom: Really? Buttercup: Nuh-uh. (Gasps) Blossom: Buttercup I can understand, but...me? Buttercup: (incensed) Hey! Bubbles: See? Blossom: This can't be right. Buttercup: Um...yeah! Bubbles: It-it was a mistake. He must not have checked his list twice like he's supposed to. Blossom: We better find Santa and set this straight. Ho... Bubbles: ...ho... Buttercup: ...ho! Girls: Let's go! (giggles) Princess: Hello, Powerpuffs! I've come to deliver you your Christmas present: A fourth and more powerful member of your team! Princess: Me! Princess! Girls: What?! Princess: That's right! You can't deny me any longer! Santa realized that I was the only truly nice kid in the whole world and that you were naughty for not giving me what I want! Princess: So now every kid in the world gets coal! And I get what I've always deserved: To be a Powerpuff Girl! Buttercup: This is so wrong! Blossom: How could Santa believe that Princess is nice? Bubbles: Excuse me? How could Santa believe that I am naughty? Buttercup: 'Cause you snooped on other people's presents! Bubbles: Look. I already told you, I only looked 'cause we didn't have any presents, so I wanted to see if any other kids had any presents. Blossom: Enough chatter, girls. We better find Santa and fast. Princess: Oh, no, you don't. I knew you conceited little ingrates wouldn't be able to accept the fact that Santa thinks you're naughty. Princess: But I'm not gonna let you brats ruin my Christmas. Buttercup: Forget it, Princess. We're so gonna tell Santa on you! Princess: Not if I tell on you first. Bubbles: We didn't do anything? Princess: Oh, yeah? "Oh, Santa Claus, as the only nice child in the whole world, I felt it was my duty to warn you about the three naughty girls who were so angry you gave them coal..." "...that they're coming to destroy your workshop and ruin Christmas forever." Oh, Santa... ( laughter echoing) Bubbles: Oh! Yaa! Buttercup: Bubbles! Blossom: She'll catch up. We can't let Princess get ahead of us. Buttercup: Ow! Quit it! Ow! Quit it! Ow! Quit it! Buttercup: QUIT IT!!! Princess: Thanks, Einstein! Blossom: (sarcastically) Good job, Buttercup. Bubbles: Yeah, nice one. Buttercup: Oh, shut up! Princess: Out of the park! Two down... Blossom: Ha! Payback! Princess: Thanks, Einstein! Princess: No fair! Princess: No fair! Princess: (drawn-out) NO FAIR! Princess: Cool it, girls! Princess: Hey! How'd you like my stocking stuffer? Buttercup: Stuff that! I can't believe that worked. Narrator: More rapid than eagles, the coursers they came, And they screamed and they shouted and called each other names. But in a toymaker's shop way up ahead, A jolly old elf was filled up with dread. Narrator: This one Christmas Eve weighed great on his soul, Back from his night of delivering coal. Santa: (angrily) Ho ho ho! What's with all the crashing and the smashing, and the smashing and the crashing? Huh? I'm out delivering coal all night long, and I come home to the Smashing-and-Crashing gng? Bubbles: But-- Santa: Uh-uh! No buts! I ain't listenin' to no buts from some no-good naughty kids! And no no-good little naughty kids are gonna tell me what's what! Santa: 'Cause guess what? Santa: ANSWER ME!!! Blossom: (nervously) Uh... Santa: That's right! First time, first time it's ever happened. Every last little no-good, good-for-nothin' kid in the stinkin' world was naughty! Santa: Naughty! Naughty! Naughty little kids the world over! Except for one. One nice sweet little girl. Buttercup: You're wrong! Santa: (angrily) Oh, I am, huh?! Well, I's gots the list, baby. Santa: Check it! Princess: Yeah! Check it! Santa: Yeah! A million bazillion good-for-nothin's on this list! And one little itty bitty, perfect little angel over here. Princess: Nyah! Bubbles: That's not right! Maybe you didn't check the list twice! Buttercup: Yeah! Princess is the naughtiest kid ever! Blossom: She must've snuck up here and switched the lists! Princess: Nuh-uh! Santa, don't listen to them! They're just jealous 'cause they got coal. Princess: They're jealous 'cause I'm nicer, I'm smarter, and I'm prettier, and I'm better than them - so they wouldn't let me be a Powerpuff Girl. That makes them naughty! Santa: You mean, the Powerpuff Girls? Not the same Powerpuff Girls who are always helping people and saving the day and being really good? I mean, really good? Santa: Yeah, yeah. See, that explains all the flying and floating and stuff. Princess: Ahem! But I should be a Powerpuff Girl! Me! Not them! Me! My daddy says I'm better! My daddy says I'm the best! And if you're too much of a fatheaded fathead to see that, I'll tell my daddy! Princess: And he'll come and build a parking lot over this cheap little arts- and-crafts popsicle stand of yours! Got it?! Princess: So, you better give me whatever I want for Christmas... ...'cause my daddy says I get whatever I want, whenever I want it! And if that means all of those lousy, worthless, second-rate, bargain-basement brats in the world don't get anything for Christmas, then that's just the way it's gonna have to be! Princess: 'Cause I am better than them! And it says so right here! Princess: So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Santa Clod! Santa: LIST, SCHMIST! (tearing paper) I don't need no stinkin' list tellin' me who's naughty and who's nice! Santa: You know why? 'Cause I'm Santa Claus! Check it! Princess... Santa: ...You have gone and worked my last nerve! Princess: Ow! Ow! Santa: I have no other choice. You are so rotten, so despicable, so naughty... I'm putting you on the... Santa: ...Permanent Naughty Plaque! Santa: (imitating dramatic horns) Bum-bum-bummm! Princess: (Gasps) Princess: (screams) You can't do that! I'm telling my daddy! Princess: (Gasps) (Screams) Princess: (in distance) NO FAIR! Buttercup: Wow, Santa! We didn't know you could give kids superpowers for Christmas. Santa: Eh. No one's ever asked. Blossom: Santa, it's almost morning! What about all the nice children who got coal? Santa: It's all right, girls. (cracking knuckles) I've pulled rush jobs before. All it takes is... Santa: Oh! Bubbles: (small voice) All those poor boys and girls. Santa: Hundreds of years of perfect attendance. Santa: (sobbing) A couple of close calls...but we've always made it. But now... ...I'm ruined. (bell tolls) Santa: Powerpuff Girls, with your streaks so bright, won't you deliver the Christmas gifts tonight? Blossom: We'd be honored, Santa, and we'll do our best. Santa: (wearily) Good, 'cause my head's klling me. Narrator: So all 'round the world the Powerpuffs flew, With a sack full of toys and a giggle or two. Girls: (giggles) They knew that their job was to fly through the skies... And deliver the gifts before the sun should arise. They spoke not a word, but took care of their deed, Delivering gifts at a breakneck speed. Narrator: Their streaks ribboned the sky, their swiftness severe. They'd have sure been the envy of eight certain reindeer. In and out of all chimneys, each and every abode, Gift by gift, they completed the task they were bestowed. Dollies and race cars, horseys, choo-choos, and blocks, Teddy bears! Puppy dogs! (less enthused) Underwear and socks. All these items slipped under every child's tree, Arranged rather nicely by these super girls three. Narrator: They were making good time, even though they were rookies, So they stopped once or twice to have milk and some cookies. Narrator: Then at last they were done - whew! - just before dawn. So they sped back to Townsville, to home with a yawn. Narrator: They entered their room, for the wear no less worn, And snuggled into bed to await Christmas morn. Professor: Girls! Wake up! Wake up! It's Christmas! It's Christmas! He came! Santa came! Professor: Come on, come on! Let's go open the presents, come on, let's go, let's go, let's go! I think somebody might have gotten that new atom splitter they've been eyeing! Professor: Come on, come on, come on, come on! (giggles.) Bubbles: Professor, it's too early! Blossom: We'll open presents later. Buttercup: Go back to bed! Bubbles: Wait a minute. Blossom: What are we saying? Buttercup: Who cares if we're tired? Girls: It's Christmas! Girls: Presents! (happy chatter, mixed with the sound of wrapping paper being torn off) Narrator: Now all the nice kids of the world won't get stiffed. They'll look on with pure joy at every wrapped gift. So paper's torn open and ribbon unfurls, 'Cause Christmas was saved... ...thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!	{"type": "movie", "show": "Powerpuff Girls: 'Twas the Fight Before Christmas, The (2003)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Kris: Alright Pengrove. Kris: It's crunch time. Kris: The holiday seasons are coming up fast. Kris: Faster than an elf on Adoral. (Laughter) Pengrove: So true. Kris: Can you imagine? Kris: So Kris: I'm not technically retired. Kris: But I still get dozens of letters from kids. Kris: Asking for gifts. Kris: Oh, no, but what's on the agenda today? Pengrove: The schedule is free today boss. Kris: Any um... Kris: Any mail come in for me today... or? Pengrove: No. Pengrove: No Mail. Kris: What about Nutcraker? Any Mail? Kris: (High Pitched) No Mail. (Laughter) (Hysteric Laughter) Kris: (High Pitched sounds) (Hysteric Laughter Continues) (Hysteric Laughter Still Continues) (Awkward silence with sigh) Kris: You sure there's nothing n the schedule for me today? Pengrove: Well, you could work on the list. Kris: (to himself) The list. Kris: The list is my top priority throughout the year. Kris: Without it, I wouldn't know who's been naughty or who's been nice. Kris: I mean, you'd have good kids getting coal. Bad kids getting presents. Kris: Come christmas time, it would be utter chaos. Kris: (Excited) Let's work on the list. Kris:( Laughing) Okay. Pengrove: (Let's do it) Kris: Alright, alright. Kris: Uhh.. Kris: Okay, well... Where.. Where is the list? (Music Jingle) (Music Jingle) Kelly: Yeah we're releasing the new cookie just in time for Christmas. Kris: Kelly? Kelly to phone: I need you to get the order together ASAP. Kris: (Whisper) Kelly? Kris:(Whisper) Just... Kris: My wife Kelly runs a really successful business. Kris: Mrs: Kringle's Cookies. Kris: So she's really busy most of the time. Kris: I mean she doesn't deliver toys to every single child in the entire world in one night, but yeah, her cookies are really good. Kelly: You need to get it together okay? Kelly: Huh, whats up? Kris: Hey, uhh... Have you seen the list? Kelly: I'm sorry, what list? Kris: The list honey. Kris: You know, the list that I make and check twice. Kris: So I can see whose been naughty or nice. Kelly: Yeah, wow, are you still doing that? Kris: Yes, I'm still doing that. Kris: How else would the kids get their presents? Kelly: I don't know. Internet? Kris: (Sigh) Kelly: Oh, um, cookie? Kris: Kelly, the list is missing. Kris: This is no time for cookies! Kris: Alright, I guess a few wouldn't hurt. Kelly: Anytime is a good time for cookies. Kris: What's with all the decorations pal? Nick: I'm just getting ready for the holiday season. Kris: You got the played looking like a haunted mansion. Kris: (murmur) Nick: I know. Kris: Uh, uh, cookie? Nick: Are they gluten free? Kris: My son's in college now. Kris: He's going to take over for me once he graduates. Kris: We are really proud of him. Kris: Have you, have you seen my list? Nick: Hey, look at that. I gotta go. Kris: Where you going pal? Kris: Out. Kris:(sigh) Kris: Hey Candycane. Kelly: Hmm. Kelly: Yeah sugar plum. Kris: Do you think Nick hates me? Kelly: What? No. Kelly: No, of course not. Kris: Because I think he put up those Halloween decorations just to spite me. Kelly: He's in college. Kelly: You know, he's just trying to be his own man. Kelly: I think this Halloween thing is just a phase. Kris: You're probably right. Kris: Oh. What am I going to do about the list? Kris: Christmas is ruined. Kris: You think Somebody stole it? Kelly: You Just misplaced it. (Shattering Sound) Kris: (Whisper) Did you hear that? Kelly: It's just Nick, go back to bed. Kris: What if it's the thief that stole the list? Kris: And they're back to steal your cookie recipes. Kris: I'm about to go waffling on someone's ass! Kris: Hmm. Kris: Nick Kris: Is that you? Kris: Pengrove? Kris: Jeff. Kris: What are you doing here? Jeff: (Mumbling and Slurring) I got kicked out of my apartment. Kris: (Sigh) Jeff: Can I stay here for a while? Kris: I.. you know. Jeff: I got no place to go bro. Kris: (Sigh) Kris: First I lose the list. Kris: Now I got my brother to deal with. Kris:This is the last thing I need. Jeff: (throwing up) Kris: Oh. Oh. Kris: Oh. Oh. Oh come on. Oh (Sound of video game lazers) Jeff: Bro you look really stupid in this. Jeff: Snow globe. Kris: The spirit of Jack Frost is trapped in that snow globe. I'd be careful with that, if I were you. Jeff: I can feel it in my Bones. (More lazers) Jeff: So hey listen, I got this burning sensation when I piss. Kris: Look I'm really busy here Jeff. (Video game explsin) Kris: I'm really busy okay. Nick: Hey dad. Nick: Could Rachel come for dinner tonight? Kris: Ask your mother. Jeff: Ooh lala. Who's Rachel. Nick: My girlfriend. Jeff: I almost married the girl I was dating in college. Kris: Jeff, don't. No. Kris: Come on. you didn't even go to college. Jeff: I was a janitor at one. Jeff: Kris think he's so important. Jeff: I mean... Jeff: So what. He's Santa Clause. Jeff: He never brings me any gifts. Jeff: Ho. Ho. Ho. Jeff: Psf. Horseshit. Jeff: It smells like ham and cookie farts in here. Kris: Well it certainly is very nice to finally meet you Rachel. Nick: Dad she's been here like a dozen times. We've been dating for like three months. Kris: Oh uh.. Kris: I thought that was a different girl. Who was the other girl you were dating? Kris: She was so, so pretty. Kris: She was so... Kris: No, no. Rachel is very pretty, I wasn't saying that. (Awkward Silence) Kris: The food is very, very good honey. It's delicious. Kelly: Thank you. Jeff: It's a bit Bland for my taste. Kelly to Jeff: We're just so happy that you're here. Jeff. Jeff: Me too. Jeff: Thanks. Kelly: Uh, so how was school Rachel? Rachel: Good, I'm done with my pre-med classes this semester. Jeff: Beauty and brains. Nick: Rachel is going to be a doctor. Jeff to Rachel: Hey listen, I get this burning sensation when I - (Sound of kick under table) Kris: Hey! Kelly: Your parents must be very proud. Rachel: Yeah my mom's a doctor, so I'm kind of following in her footsteps. Kris: Oh well that is very, very interesting. Kris: Did Nick happen to mention what I do for a living? Rachel: No he didn't. Rachel: What do you do? Kris: Well I'm a bit of a celebrity. I'm known by several names. Kris: Old Saint Nick. The brits call me Father Christmas. (Kris laughing) Kris: I've been told I resemble a bowl full of jelly when I laugh. Look at this. Kris: Ho. Ho. here get a closer look. Look. (Kris laughs) (Kris laughs) Kris: Right? Kris: A bowl full of Jelly. (Kris continues shaking belly) (Kris clears throat) Kris: Im Santa Clause Rachel: Oh Rachel: I don't really celebrate Christmas. I'm Jewish. (Jeff laughing) Nick: That's right dad. Nick: Rachel's Jewish. Kelly: So does that mean you celebrate. Hu.. Hannukka? Kris: Where do you get your gifts? Nick: Who cares where they get their gifts. Kris: No but where do the Jews get there presents? Nick: You know I don't care that she doesn't celebrate Christmas. Nick: I think it's a terrible holiday glazed with consumerism masked as family tradition. Nick: Kind of like this grotesque ham. Kelly:Uh. Kris: You leave the ham out of this. Kris: And who are you to talk, you look like a long lost illegitimate child of Marylin Manson. Kris: Hah. Kris: Hey Kelly. Kelly: Did you have sex with Marilyn Manson. Did you? Kris: It looks like you did. Kelly: Well, right now I wish I had. Nick: You leave mom, Marilyn and the rest of the beautiful people out of it. Nick: And you know what? Nick: I think Christmas is the worst Holiday there is. (Silence) Kris: you. Kris: You stole the list! Kelly: Kris! Kris: Admit it! Nick: What list? Kelly: Kris, you are way out of line right now. Kris: (Whiny) He's trying to sabotage Christmas, Kelly. Nick: This is bullshit. Nick: I'm out of here. Rachel let's go. Kelly: Wait, Nick, no. Honey. Kris: Oh. Oh. Where you going? You going to your real dad? Kris: Huh? Nick: I wish Marylin was my real father. Kris: Oh Fine, ooh yeah. Just walk away huh. Kelly: Way to go. Jeff: It was nice to meet you. Rachel. Kris: Hey, where do you think you're going pal? Huh? (Kris makes sickly sound.) Jeff: Bro. You alright? You don't look so hot. Kris: I'm fine. Kris: I'm Santa Clause damn it! (Sickly sounds) Kelly: Kris! Kris:Grunting Pengrove: Boss! Pengrove: Boss! Kris: What?What? Pengrove:Get up. Kris: What happened? Kelly: Well, you acted like an ass and then you passed out. Jeff: Yeah we thought you kicked the bucket bro. (Jeff Laughs) Nick: Alright he's alive. Nick: Let's go. (Squeaky floor) Rachel: If you don't mind me asking, what's your diet consist of? Kris: Umm... milk and cookies. Kris: Christmas ham. Kris: I'm on the go a lot. So I have to eat on the go. Rachel: I'm only pre-med so you should talk to a doctor but... Rachel: I think you have diabetes. (Jeff laughing hysterically) Jeff: Perfect. (Video game lazers) (More video game lazers) Kris: I lost the list. Kris: My family hates me. Kris: And I'm probably gonna die. Kris: Other than that, I'm fine. Kris: Other than that, I;m just... Kris: Great. Pengrove: (High pitched) Hey boss. Pengrove: I've got some good news for you. Pengrove: You're going to bring present to all the children in the world and make them so happy. Pengrove: Christmas is going to be the best- Kris: No! Kris: Pengrove! Kris: No nut cr*cker! Kris: The List! Kris:Where's the list Pengrove. Pengrove: I've searched the whole house boss. Pengrove: I can't find it. Pengrove: There's no list. Pengrove: You know boss... Pengrove: I think the people of the world can take care of themselves. Kris: No. Pengrove: But you still need to take care of your family. (Pengrove picks up bells) (Ringing bells) Kris: Alright everyone. Kris: Come on in here. Kris: Gather around. Kris: I got something I wanna say. Kris: You too Jeff, wake up. Jeff: Hard eight, eight the hard way. Kris: Alright, I know you all hate my guts right now. Kris: Okay, I just wanted to apologize for the way I was acting last night at dinner. Kris: It's just that Christmas isn't what it used to be. And I'm having a hard time dealing with that. Kris: I mean people have written songs about me. Kris: Parents would take their kids to the mall to sit on a complete strangers lap... Kris: dressed up like me, so they could tell them what they would want for Christmas. (Kris sigh) Kris: I just, I just really miss that. Kelly: Well you were acting like a jerk last night. Kelly: I understand that the last few years have been really hard for you. Kelly: I mean... Kelly: We have so much to be grateful for. Kelly: Everything you've done for us... Kelly: And you deserve to be happy too. Kelly: So we forgive you. Kelly: Right Nick? Nick: Yeah I forgive you. Nick: I don't hate Christmas. I just wanna do my own thing you know? Nick: I don't wanna be Santa. Kris: If Halloween is your favorite holiday, I totally respect that. Kris: Alright? Kris: And if you wanna date a uh.. Kris: A je... a jew.. Kris: What's the word honey? Kelly: Jewish person. Kris: A jewish person. Kris: If you wanna date a jewish person... Kris: then go for it. Kris: I think you guys make a great couple. Rachel: Thanks. Kris: Well, I know Christmas isn;t for a few months, but I... Kris: But I went ahead and got you guys a little something anyway. Kelly: Aw. Kelly: What did you do? Kris: Kelly, I know you've been working hard all year so I... Kris: got you a weekend pass to the Malibu Spa and Resort. Kelly: Oh honey thank you. Jeff:(Background) Brown noser! Kris: And for you two... Kris: VIP passes to the Marilyn Manson concert this... Kris: Halloween! Rachel: No way! Rachel:Thank you so much. Nick: I thought these were sold out, how did you get them? Kris: I'm Santa Clause. Kris: I have my ways. Kris: And I outbid a guy on Ebay. Jeff: What did you get me bro? Kris: Jeff, you can stay o nthe couch as long as you like buddy. Jeff: Really? Jeff: Score. Jeff: Thanks big brother. Kris: So I'm not the celebrity I once was. Kris: My family loves me, and that's what the holidays are all about. Kris: Family. Kris: And, and presents. Kris: Family and Presents. (Clears throat)	{"type": "movie", "show": "Tis the Season (2015)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
[upbeat music] Peg: Seamus, the children haven't seen the new house. I want it clean. Seamus Fitzgerald, you're wearing white socks with business shoes. You look like an old man. Seamus: I am an old man, 65 years old. Peg: You're 64. Seamus: I'm in my 65th year. I get senior citizen prices at the movies, the video store, Denny's and Tuesday [unintelligible]. Peg: Now go change those socks before the children get here. Seamus: [sighs] Socks. Peg: Dark ones. Sean: I don't know. I wish I could. Yes, Exit 71 east. We'll be here. They'll be here in about 20 minutes. Jeanne: We can't wait 20 minutes. Sean: Well, we haven't got a choice, have we? Kate: I thought you said we were picking up a car at the airport? Scott: This is the airport. Kate: No, the airport is three miles away. This is a deserted parking lot. Scott: At least I found us a car Kate. It was either this or an '81 Chevette. Kate: Hey Scott, did the Chevette have a stick shift? Scott: Stick? I'm going to do it Kate, just you're making me nervous. Kate: Okay, okay, okay. Clutch. Scott: Would you take your hand off the stick shift please? Kate: Just, just, just - Scott: I can do this. I'm a grown up. [car screetching] I'm a man okay? Kate: Fine. Do it. We'll just spend the night here. Scott: Oh fine that's very encouraging. Kate: Look, just clutch and gas. Scott: I know that. Kate: Clutch. You're tearing up the transmission. Scott: Look, just leave me alone and let me drive will you? Peg: Seamus, hurry up. Children should be here soon. Mmm. Jeanne: Mom says the new house is very modern. I wonder what it looks like. Sean: Honey, Mom's idea of modern is built after the Civil wr. Jackie: You know the Michaels went skiing this Christmas. Can't we do that instead? Jeanne: No, we can't. [Unintelligible] trip to the hospital. Sean: They made me an offer. Sarah: Dad, about Santa Claus. Jackie: And I'm not kissing Grandpa this year. He's got bad breath. Jeanne: Jackie stop it. Jackie: But it's true. I'm not kissing Grandpa. Sean: It's Dr. Fitzgerald. Can you page Dr. Ralph with Pediatric Oncology? Jeanne: I don't care if it's true. You kiss your grandfather or you're in trouble. Now settle down. Sarah: Can we get a puppy? Sean: I'm checking the bloodwork on Elizabeth Westley. Jeanne: Animals don't fit in Santa's sleigh. Peg: You're alone I see. Did you call him like I said? Meghan: Yes, Mom. I called David and left a message on his machine. Okay? Peg: Don't worry. He'll come. Nothing's so bad that it can't be worked out. Every marriage has its little problems. Brian: Has its little problems. Leave her alone. Hi sis. Meghan: Hi. Brian: Oh shit! Peg: Brian, watch your mouth. Meghan: Is Shannon coming for Christmas this year? Peg: No, but she sent us a Christmas card from Seattle. A new boyfriend, job at a coffee shop. Brian: Good God, is she going to be the hornery teenager forever? Peg: Brian she's had a hard time. Brian: Oh come on Mom. You've given that kid everything she ever wanted. Meghan: Oh, saw your Law and Order episode last week. It was great. Seamus: You made a spectacular corpse. Brian: Thanks Dad. Seamus: Is it in the shed? Peg: Did you say hello to your daughter? Seamus: Hello daughter. Meghan: Now what's that all about? Peg: Oh! Here they are! Meghan: What? Peg: Oh! It's so good to see you! Sean: This place! Mom! Meg! Peg: Oh hi! My little angels! Brian: Good to see you man. Sean: How long have you been here? Brian: Too long. Jeanne: Hey, the place is so interesting. Sean: Are you okay? Really? Meghan: Yeah. [screaming] Jeanne: How are you? [everyone talking at once] Seamus: It's not in the shed. Sean: Hey Dad. What's going on? Seamus: Women and holidays. I'd rather be working. Jackie: Hi Grandpa. Seamus: Jackie! Brian: I know. It's called halitosis and he was supposed to talk to his doctor about it. Peg: Sean, Jeanne come on. I'll show you the house. Brian, Seamus get the rest of the bags and bring them inside. Jeanne: How are you? Meghan: Good, good. Brian: Dad, you have cat breath. Either it's something serious or that corned beef addiction of yours. Seamus: Of all people to be diagnosing me. That corned beef was reviewed by News Day's dining critic in '78. He gave it four chef's hats. Brian: Yadda, yadda, yadda. It put Fitzgerald's Pub on the map, but whoever heard of a phony Irish bar serving good food? Seamus: That phony Irish bar allowed you to spend seven years in drama school so you could be a waiter at Howard Johnson. Besides the Irish are great cooks. Brian: Yeah? Name me one great Irish chef. Seamus: I said cooks, real food. Not that namby pamby crap they serve today. Would you believe that last week at the Knights of Columbus luncheon they served us a salad with flowers in it? Brian: You still haven't named me one great Irish chef. Seamus: Seamus and Peg Fitzgerald. There's two. Brian: When your family has been in America for over a century you don't count. Seamus: I'm as Irish as the next - Brian: The next third generation American. Peg: Sean and Jeanne said the living room is very modern. Isn't that a nice thing to say? Seamus: What a waste of money that room was. Jeanne: Four bedrooms? Peg, why so big? Peg: I intended to have room for all the grandchildren I was supposed to have. Brian: One down three to go Mom. Jeanne: I've already made my contribution to the grandchild fund. Peg: Two children is not a family Jeanne. It's just a start, and you're so young. You have perfect hips for child bearing dear. Sean: We're happy with just two Mom. Besides I don't want to be coaching baseball when I'm 60. Peg: 60 my backside. Seamus: Tony Randall fathered children at 77 and 79. Anthony Quinn was 80. Peg: Well I had Shannon when I was 42. Sean: Exactly. Peg: Sean, I don't understand you. First she doesn't take your name and now you're only having two children? Sean: Mother! Brian: Yeah, what kind of man are you anyway. You know, I expect more from my brother. Peg: Probably using birth control too. God forgive them. Jeanne: Why couldn't they retire to Florida like normal people. Jackie: This is a disaster. Sean: Mom, you didn't? Seamus: Indeed she did. Peg: I have been saying for years that all this family does when we get together is watch sports on TV. So I've done it. The TV is gone. This year we are going to behave like a family. Brian: You know we could go to McGillicutty's and watch the game. Seamus: Ah she'd find us though. She's like God almighty; she knows everything. Peg: Meghan, get me the milk. I need it for the potatoes. Jeanne: Peg, why don't you let us buy you an electric mixer? Peg: Nonsense, I do it with love. They taste better that way. I saw that. If you'd just watch me maybe you'd hold on to David. Jeanne: How late do you think Kate is going to be? Peg: Oh, you know Kate she'll be along. Besides this is just a little something I've whipped up at the last minute. Sean: Oh mom you threw that together? Jeanne usually throws together macaroni and cheese. When I come home late from the hospital and I don't call to tell her I'll be late, causing the filet mignon she was going to serve to become overcooked and in a desparate attempt to feed her family she whips together a little macaroni - I'm just going to stop now. Jeanne: Nice try. Peg: Come on now Jeanne, you can do better than that. Only two children, both of them in school. It's time you started cooking again. Well, maybe you should take lessons first. Meghan: Uh, Mom, Kate, how's she doing? Seamus: I never thought I'd live to see the day a daughter of mine worked for the Alliance of Liberal Political Organization. Brian: The Fitzgeralds have produced a liberal democrat. Who'd have thunk it? Seamus: Kennedy was a great man, democrats were a great party until they nominated that peanut farmer, whatever his name was. I can't remember names anymore. The one that told Playboy about lust in his heart. Sean: Jimmy Carter. Dad, how do you know what he said in Playboy? Brian: Come on Dad. Seamus: In the closet! Is the TV in the closet? Peg: So, Kate is bringing home her latest boyfriend. Oh, pardon me she says her significant other. Brian: For a feminist she sure keeps company with a lot of men. Peg: I know what you're implying Brian Fitzgerald and you will be civil in my home. You left a bit of skin on these dear. She better not think that she'll be sharing her room with this boyfriend under my roof. Seamus: Not in the closet. Peg: And he's also a bigshot with the ACLU, and he's divorced, but we'll talk to Father Michael about an anullment if it comes to that. But what's his name? I keep getting all her boyfriend's names confused. [rustling paper] Scott Flynn. She's finally dating a nice Catholic boy. All together: Amen. [humming] Brian: This is unbelievable. He's eating even more now. Sean: Dad, your doctor wants you to watch your cholesterol. Seamus: I am watching. I'm 65 years old and I'm damned if I'll change the way I eat at this stage in my life. Peg: You're 64. Seamus: You see a story on the news about some such or another that's good for you and then the next day they're telling you it causes cancer of the whoseit. Brian: And the whoseit would be where? Seamus: I'll eat what I will. Brian: Mom, I can't believe you're going to let him eat like that. He's going to have a heart attck right here at the table. Peg: Well it's not healthy to be a vegetarian either. Brian: Actually, it's very healthy. You see animals - Seamus: Are delicious. I love them. Meghan: Sean, you do know the Heimlich maneuver right? [pager beeping] Jeanne: You planned that. Sean: I did not. It's the hospital. Seamus: I'm thinking about planting a sycamore out back, maybe a larch, but I don't know if a larch grows around here. It's from someplace out west. Sean: No, that's okay Dan we were just fighting our way through dinner. Peg: You're father's taken an interest in horticulture. Sean: Really? Could you sab her? I'll be right there. Jeanne: I know you, you gotta go. You going to be all right? Sean: It's one of our patients in trouble. Dan asked me - Jeanne: That's not what I asked. Sean: Bye honey. Jackie: Bye. Sean: Bye sweetie. Sarah: I need to talk to you Daddy. Sean: We'll talk as soon as I get home. Okay? Peg: But Sean! Seamus: It's the corporal work of mercy Peg. Leave the boy alone. Peg: That would drive me crazy Jeanne. He's very thin. He looks so tired. Are you feeding him well or do you still order out too often. Jeanne: He's been working very hard lately. Katie: I saw Sean leaving. Did you drive him crazy already Ma? Oh! That tree is fake, it's too small and it's leaning. Peg: Not in the house. Katie: Wait, I need a TV. I gotta see something on CSPAN. Scott: Ah, well Kate wanted me to tell you that I'm Scott, Scott Flynn. Uh, hi. How are you doing? Jeanne: Hi, I'm Jeanne. Scott: Hi Jeanne. Nice to meet you. Seamus: Hi Scott. Meghan: Meghan. Scott: Pleasure. Brian: Brian. Scott: Brian, hi. Peg: Peg. Scott: Peg, nice to meet you too. Wow this is great. Katie: Okay, I give up. Hi Dad. What room's the TV in in here? Oh, did a FedEx package come for me? Wait, there is only one room in this house. How can you stand it? Scott: Kate, come on. You don't have to watch the Congressional Woman's Caucus Hour every week. Kate: Okay, I give up. Where's the TV? Peg: You've had three FedExes since noon and there's no TV in the house. Katie: What? What do you mean no TV? How are we going to spend the entire weekend together with no TV? Meghan: We're going to talk. Seamus: Here you go son. Scott: Thank you. Seamus: Scott, where are you from? Scott: Oregon. Seamus: Oregon? What's the capital of Oregon? Peg: What part of Ireland do your relatives come from? North or south? Scott: Excuse me? Katie: In her own perverted way my mother's trying to ask whether your Catholic or Protestant. Scott: Oh, actually my mother's Jewish and my father's Catholic. Well they decided they'd let me pick what religion I wanted to be when I grew up. So, I decided to be an atheist. Seamus: What about larch? They got larch in Oregon? Scott: Larch? Brian: Gee, I wonder what's on cable. Scott: I'm a satellite man myself, 300 channels, nothing on. [laughing] Katie: I only watch CSPAN. Brian: Kate, grow a life. Peg: Let's play Scruples. Brian: We can't play Scruples, they're lawyers. Scott: Oh ho ho! Seamus: I hate that game. Your mother always wins. Brian, did you bring your ears? Brian: You mean my Walkman? Seamus: Yeah, give me your Walkman. Seamus: I can certainly listen to people talk about my game if I can't see it in all its technicolor glory. Peg: Everyone else in? Everyone: Yes. Katie: I'm always blue. Politics and history. Brian: Politics and history is orange in this set, and Agent Scully could you possibly spend a weekend without your cell phone attached to your ear? Katie: No and science is orange. Brian: No, we're playing with a different set of cards. Politics and history is orange. Katie: Fine. Read it. Brian: Name the town in Massachusetts which was thrice attcked by Indians in King Phillips' wr. Katie: Springfield. Scott: No, it couldn't have been Springfield it's too big. Katie: It wasn't too big in the 1600s. Scott: Fine. Katie: Springfield. Brian: Hatfield. Mom, Meghan your turn. Katie: No way. Scott: Good one. You're good at this aren't you? Peg: Oh dear, literature. Meghan, that's one for a teacher. Meghan: Mom, they don't teach literature in kindergarten. Scott: Oh, this is an easy one. Uh, what classic of Indian dramatic literature was presumably written in the 2nd century BC? Meghan: No clue. Gone With the Wind? Scott: That is incorrect. The correct answer is the Nia - Brian: Nitya Stotra. All righty, entertainment. Scott: Impressive. Meghan: Okay, what famous musical features the song There's no Business Like Show Business? Seamus: Annie Get Your gn. Everyone: Dad! Seamus: Back then they really had singers on Broadway, Ethel Merman. They didn't even need microphones. Brian: Dad, that's because they didn't have amplified instruments in the pit back then. If Ethel Merman were on stage today - Scott: She'd look awful. Brian: Even she would need a microphone. Scott: How do you know this stuff? Brian: I'm working on Broadway. Scott: Really? That is so - Katie: Howard Johnson's, corner of 46th and Broadway. [phone ringing] He's a waiter. Scott: Interesting. Jeanne: I'll get it. Brian: I'm an actor. Things have been a little dry lately. Jeanne: Hello? Hello? No I haven't lost my mind yet. Give them some time. They're already asleep. Okay. Well, then I'll see you when I see you I guess. All right, I love you too. Bye. He won't be home until late tonight. Peg: Must be hard on you. Jeanne: I knew what I was getting into when I married a doctor. Peg: And Lord did you want to marry a doctor. Jeanne: Excuse me? Peg: I'll never forget that day that Sean called up and said he met this girl in the hospital. He was a fourth year resident and you were a teenage candy striper. What were you 16? Jeanne: 20 and I was a nurse's aide trying to meet my tuition bill, not a doctor. Brian: Jeanne met Sean one day when she was carrying a tray into a patient's room and she spilled the tray all over Sean. [laughing] Peg: Remember that wine you spilled all over Uncle Kevin last Easter? Jeanne: Oh God. [laughing] Brian: Anyway, it may not be the most romantic tale ever told, but it sure beats barhopping at the local Hooters. Scott: Well Hooters ain't so - It's a horrible sexist place. Jeanne: Anyway we're married, next question. Katie: Yeah, but you should have heard it when Sean called and said that he'd asked you to marry him. Mom thought you were knocked up. Peg: I thought no such thing. Katie: Oh yes you did. Peg: Well, we were all very relieved when you weren't. Although I'd have another grandchild then wouldn't I? Brian: Allrighty then entertainment, again. Scott: Okay, what song does this lyric come from, We Don't Need - Seamus: The Wall. Is the TV hidden in the the wall closet by the bathroom? Katie: That counts. Jeanne: That does not count. Katie: Yes, it does. Brian: Then we get a - Peg: The Wall - [everyone talking] Peg: Meghan and Kate will sleep in the first bedroom on the left. Katie: Mom, Scott and I are going to share a room. Peg: Not under my roof. Brian: Fornication, F-O-R-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N, fornication. Katie: Mother this is ridiculous. Scott: That's fine Mrs. Fitzgerald. Peg: And Brian and Scott will sleep in the first room on the right. Now, there's a little sky light in there and it may wake you up a little bit early in the morning, but it's right next to the master bedroom. Brian: Oh God, not next to you. Seamus: Wear your earplugs. Brian: My earplugs only reduce sound up to 30 decibels, and when you're sleeping next to the Concord that ain't much. Peg: Your father doesn't snore. Seamus: He was speaking of you Peg. Peg: I don't snore. Seamus: Darlin' the sound coming out of your nose would tumble the Great Wall of China. [doorbell] Peg: Now who could that be? It's almost 11:00. David! We've been waiting for you. Hey! David! Seamus: Can I get you a sandwich? Brian: Can I fix you a drink? Meghan: So glad you came. David: Yeah. Peg: Oh, oh dear. Now we'll have to redo the sleeping arrangements again. David: No, no. Don't change anything on my account. I'll sleep on the couch. Peg: Oh fine. I'll just go get you some blankets. Jeanne: Yeah, well I think I'm going to ht the sack too. Katie: Night. Meghan: Night. Katie: Scott. Scott! Scott: Huh? Oh. Good night. Meghan: Night. Thanks. Peg: Good night. David: Night. Meghan: Night Mom. Meghan: David, I'm really glad you came. I hope - David: Meghan stop. I don't want to talk now. I need to figure out whether I want to stay at all. Meghan: Oh. Okay. Um, I guess good night then. David: Good night. Katie: I hate this house. I don't know why they couldn't have just stayed in the old one. They only moved ten minutes away. Meghan: They bought this house so Dad wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs. He refuses to have that hip replacement. You know that so stop being a smartass. Katie: My, my you and David must be having the troubles. Meghan: Yeah. Katie: Well come on. You can't just leave me in suspense. Meghan: Yeah, I can. Katie: Even after you stole him from me? Meghan: You know, you went out with him twice in high school for pete's sake, Kate. Katie: Well, looks like he should have stuck with me. Meghan: Oh! That's it! I'm sick of you already. I'm going to go sleep in Brian's room. Katie: You can come out now. Just make sure you're out of here before my mother wakes up and checks in on me. Scott: Why bother, Kate. I'm sure she knows. Kate: My mother and the Spanish Inquisition have a lot in common. Now go to sleep. Scott: Sleep tight dear. Seamus: That's my boy. I always loved you more than the others. Sean: I took it from the doctor's lounge. Seamus: Put it over there in the basement. I'll hide it with my tools. Your mother will never see it. Sean: Dad, what are you eating at 4:00 in the morning? Seamus: Swedish meatballs. You want some? Sean: Sure, why not? How old are these meatballs? Seamus: Not old at all. They're left over from Thanksgiving at Uncle Kevin's. Sean: You must have a cast iron stomach. Seamus: Here, I made the corned beef yesterday. So how's your patient? Sean: Not well. Dad, what would you say if I told you I was thinking about leaving my practice and going into research? Seamus: Why would you do that? Sean: My psychiatrist would say that I'm joining the ranks of the brned out pediatric oncologists. Seamus: Your psychiatrist? Sean: Yeah. Seamus: You knew when you specialized you were getting into a tough field. Sean: Yeah, well I was an idealist then. Somewhere along the line I lost my God complex. Seamus: I wanted you to be a plastic surgeon to the stars myself. Actually, you're my first born son. I wanted you to be a priest. Sean: I'm asking your advice here. Seamus: Sean, I don't have any advice to give you. I own a pub. You're a doctor, you save lives. You make a damn good living for your family. Goodnight son. Jackie: What are those? Is that candy? Kate: Yeah, you could call it that. Jeanne: Why don't you go find your father okay? Go. Kate, if you ever show those to my daughter again I'll tell your mother. Jackie: Dad, wake up, wake up. Mom said you'd take me to get my ears pierced today. She said it was a Christmas gift. Really. Sean: Honey. Jackie: Yeah? Sean: I'm tired. Not stupid. Jackie: But Dad. Peg: Have you fed them breakfast yet? Sean: No Mom I'm just getting up. Peg: Oh goodness Sean. It's almost 9:00. They're growing children they need their breakfast. What is Jeanne thinking? Brian: Yeah Sean whatever is the matter with your wife? Breakfast at 8:00 am. Oh, by the way Dad told me about the the TV in the basement. I have never been so proud to have you as a brother. Good guy. Sean: I'm going to take a shower now. Jackie: Hey, Uncle Brian will you take me to the mall to get my ears pierced? Sean: Jackie I heard that! Brian: [laughing] [doorbell] Brian: Oh, thanks. Shannon: I split up with my boyfriend. I left Seattle and I thought I'd come see the new house and I was wondering if it'd be okay if I came home to stay this time and this house is interesting. Peg: Of course you can dear. I've been so worried about you. Sean: Here we go again. Brian: Merry Christmas everybody. What Shannon, your new boyfriend throw you out? Peg: Quiet Brian. Shannon, come have breakfast. Brian: So Kate how are things over at Alpo? Paying for the defenses of any husband K*llers lately? Spending any more of our valuable tax dollars on issues of earth shattering importance like transexual prostitution in Singapore? Kate: It's not called Alpo Brian and transexual prostitution - Peg: Is not a topic for conversation at my breakfast table. Now, let's talk about something pleasant. Seamus: All these atheists in Oregon, Scott, where do they live? Peg: Oh, for pete's sake. Scott: Actually my mom and stepdad moved us up to a commune in Oregon when I was just a teenager. Peg: Oh, you're from a broken home? Kate: Mom, mind your own business. Meghan: Can we change the subject please? Scott: A broken Winnebago is more like it. They were all hippies before it was popular. Seamus, could you pass the eggs please? Peg: So, do you think your parents divorce had anything to do with the breakup of your first marriage? Scott: No, I think it was my wife's girlfriend that caused my first marriage to be unsuccesful. My second marriage, however - Peg: [coughing] Sean: Hey mouse what's up? What's wrong? Sarah: Well, at home the other day Jackie told me that - Kurt: Shannon! Sean: You know what I already made my contribution to the Save the MTV Generation. Thanks anyway. Shannon, I think that's for you. [knocking] Kurt: Shannon! Sean: Listen - Sarah: I know, I know why don't I go and play. Shannon: Stop shaking your head at me. You're not my father. Brian: Oh no. Not him. Sean: Who is this guy? Should we know him? Brian: Remember when Shannon had that pregnancy scare? Right before she took off for the second time? Sean: How could I forget? Mom lit enough candles to burn the church down. Brian: Yeah, and remember the weird neighbors, the Zanders, the freaks next door who put up so many Christmas decorations that people still drive over just to make fun of them. Sean: Mrs. Zander, the woman who used to come to the door in her lingerie when we had the paper route. Brian: Oh, yeah. Remember that? Anyway, he is their son. Kurt: I never wanted to break up. I'm so glad you came home. Shannon: I didn't come home to be with you Kurt. Kurt: Then why'd you come home? Shannon: Look, it's complicated. Kurt: What do you mean it's complicated? I haven't seen you in months. You took off without saying goodbye or anything. Shannon: Look, I just came home. I just walked in the door, my family is all there. Kurt: You've just got to give me a few minutes. Shannon: I don't know. Meghan: David, we have to talk. David: I'm all ears. Meghan: I don't know what more I can say other than it was a mistake, and I'm sorry. And I really want us to work things out because I still love you. David: Well, then all our problems are solved. Do you think it's that simple? Meghan: I didn't say that I thought it was that simple. David: Meghan, you had an affair. You broke my heart, all the usual cliches apply. Meghan: And I don't know what I can do to make us work again. David: Neither do I. Meghan: Do you even want to try? David: I thought I did. Meghan: Then why did you come here? To embarass me in front of my whole family? So that all my brothers and sisters could have their say on the sorry state of our marriage, or was it just because I asked? David: Yes, Meghan it was. Hard as that is for you to believe, I came because you called and asked me to. Maybe someday I'll learn to stop jumping when you say jump, but it's a hard habit to break. For one of us anyway. Meghan: That is not fair. David: [sighs] Meghan: Great. The silent treatment again. You know, if you weren't so - Gosh darn insular I never would have looked at somebody else in the first place. David: Is that why you cheated? Because I'm quiet? Meghan: Quiet? David it's got nothing to do with quiet. It's the way you act like everything bad that's ever happened to us is my fault. David: Oh, I can't believe that you're finding a way to blame your sleeping with another man on me. Meghan: I am not blaming you Dave, I'm - David: If things were so bad in our marriage why didn't you just - Meghan: Talk to you? David: Right. Meghan: You mean like we're doing now? David, you wouldn't even listen to me. Until the night that I told you about that stupid irresponsible fling that I had and it didn't last anyway. David: It did't last? Well for God's sakes Meghan. You told me it lasted for three months, or do you want to revise that now too? It wasn't just a fling. It was a lot more than that. [sad music] Jeanne: Oh please Kate, everybody knows how you cook pasta. Water, boil, add pasta. What do you make for dinner when you're home alone? Kate: Reservations. Kurt: Don't you remember? We were going to open up an aroma therapy supply store in Massapequa? Shannon: I wanted to go to Sri Lanka and work with the Dalai Lama. Kurt: But the Dalai Lama is in Bangladesh. Kate: India. Kurt: No the Dalai lives in Bangladesh. Peg: Meghan, I saw you talking to David. How'd it go? Sean: Oh! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Scott: You're the doctor? I need a drink. Sean: Hey! That's Sarah's Barbie dream house. Scott: Nothing like an ultra sissy toy under the Christmas tree to warm the cockles of your heart. Brian: He cheated on her. That's why they're separated. Yeah, David cheated on Meghan. Sean: That's too bad. Brian: Don't you want to do something? Don't you want to talk to him? Sean: No. Seamus: Brian, it's your sister's business, not yours and certainly not ours. Brian: But she's our sister. Seamus: Brian, trust us. We're married men. We've learned our lesson. Mind your own business. Brian: Why are you all so calm? Have you ever? Sean: No. Brian: You didn't know what I was going to ask. Sean: [laughing] Oh yes I did. Seamus: No. Halftime. Scott: May I? Brian: What about you? Scott: What about me what? Brian: Have you ever had an affair? Kurt: Huh? I'm not married. Brian: Not you Einstein. Kurt: Kurt. I changed my name from Howard after Kurt Cobain died. Kind of a tribute. Brian: I know your name Howie. I used to smash your pumpkins every Halloween. I was talking to Scott. Scott: Well, now that you mention it. That's why marriage number two fell apart. Seamus: And to think I liked you. Here. Kurt: All right. How come the Beverly Hillbillies is on PBS? Brian: That's the Grapes of Wrath Kissinger. Kurt: Kurt. Sean: Dr. Fitzgerald. I just received a page. Hi Rick. Damn. I'm leaving now. I'll be there in maybe half an hour. Yeah. Sorry it's one of my patients there. Jeanne: Go. [kiss] Sean: I'll be fine. Jeanne: Sean. Sean: I said I'm fine. Jeanne: No you're not fine. Did you get a chance to talk to Sarah? Sean: When have I had time to talk to Sarah? Jeanne: Great. Sean: Honey, we can't have this discussion now. I've got to get to the hospital. There's no time for this. Jeanne: There's no time to talk to your own daughter? Sean: What about that little girl at the hospital? Jeanne: Okay. What do I say to that? [door slams] [phone ringing] Sean: Fitzgerald. Oh no. Yeah, I'm still here. Right. See you Monday. Kate: Like all these stay at home mothers? Look at Jeanne. All these soccer moms just do not get it. Where are they going to be when their husbands leave them for some trophy wife and they've got to get back into the job market? Jeanne: Where did you get all this garbage you're filling your brain with? Peg: You need to use more frosting dear. In my day the mothers didn't have any choice but to stay home. Jeanne: Actually, I'm going back to teaching next year. Peg: And our children benefitted from it. Jeanne is doing the right thing staying at home, at least until her girls are in high school. What was that you said dear? Jeanne: Nothing. Peg: But I hardly think you can describe Jeanne as conservative. Kate: She's a hell of a lot closer to Betty Crocker than Betty Friedan. Peg: Betty Crocker? I don't think so dear. Really now? She didn't even take her husband's name. Jeanne: Peg, I did take Sean's name. I'm Jeanne Quinn-Fitzgerald. Peg: That's hardly taking his name dear. Kate: And hardly keeping your own. Jeanne: I hate these conversations. Kate: And when 50% of all marriages end in divorce, keeping your own identity is so important. I mean look at Meghan. What is Meghan going to do? She's a kindergarten teacher for God's sake. That's hardly a career. Jeanne: Who says it isn't? Kate: And now she's splitting up with her husband. Or Shannon. Now there's a case. She didn't even finish high school. What is she going to do? And what are you going to do with her Mom? Are you just going to take care of her forever? Jeanne: What about you? Kate: What about me? Jeanne: Well you've deconstructed everybody else in the family. Now, let's psychoanalyize you. What's the deal with Scott? Meghan: Yeah, what ist he deal with Scott? Peg: Yes Kate. I really do feel I must speak to you about Scott. Kate: I know. I know Mom. I know. He's a twice divorced atheist and so we should all just shun him or rend our clothes or whatever the Catholic equivalent of that is. Peg: I'm very hurt by that Kate. I only have your best interests at heart. Kate: Oh boy. Here we go. Peg: He is a divorced man who doesn't believe in God. Kate: You know it's amazing how quickly the conversation turns to religion around here. Peg: And why shouldn't we? God sees everything Kate. Kate: You know I don't mind if God sees, Mom. It's you that I mind. See God doesn't give me that, "How could you possibly I'm so disappointed in you," eyes welling up with tears lower lip quivering thing that you do so well. Peg: I'm sorry if it offends you Katherine Mary. But I raised my children to believe in everything that you have seen fit to spend your entire personal and professional life trying to degrade. Kate: Oh come on, give me one example. Peg: Eighth grade graduation from Saint Killian's. You were the valedictorian. Your entire speech implored the church to rethink its views about the all-male priesthood. Kate: Well it should. Peg: High school prom. You organized a sit in against Sacred Heart's refusal to allow condoms in the nurse's office. I was not pleased to have to go down to the Westbury Holiday Inn to negotiate with you about the hostile takeover of room 124. Kate: Mom, that really didn't have anything to do with condoms. Peg: Law school graduation. Again, you were the valedictorian. You spent your entire speech berating the university trustees about their record of investing in South Africa. Kate: And they divested the very next week. Peg: Sometimes I have felt like Jane Fonda's mother. And yes, yes it does hurt me. And yes, I am disapointed, but not in you. In your choices. Kate: Oh come on. You're just angry I don't go to church anymore, and don't worry. I'm going to mass with you tonight. Peg: Oh, don't do me any favors. Kate: You know I have never done anything that I regret. Jeanne: Not even throwing your bra on stage at that Bee Gees concert back in 1976? Kate: What? Who told you that? That never happened. There was no bra. It was a bikini top. Jeanne: Oh! Boy do you belong in politics. [phone ringing] Meghan: Oh come on. Everybody knows about that. [phone ringing] Jeanne: Hello? Oh Dr. Reid. No, I thought he was at the hospital. Peg: Meghan, you should have a baby. That way you'd hold onto David. Meghan: I don't think so Mom. Jeanne: I'll be back in a while. Somebody watch my kids. Peg: But Christmas Eve dinner. Jeanne: I'll be back. Meghan I'm taking your car. Meghan: Okay. Peg: What has gotten into these people? Kurt: Can I ask you another question? Scott: Mm-hmm. Kurt: You're a lawyer right? Scott: Well, I have a law degree. I don't practice law. Kurt: Well, that's cool. What I want to ask is, you know mattress tags? Scott: Mattress tags? Kurt: Yeah. If I pull off one of those mattress tags, am I breaking the law or something? Scott: Yes, Kurt. In fact, it's a violation of US Code, Section 1234, the Posturepedic Protection Act of 1954. Justice Department takes it very seriously. It's a felony. Kurt: Oh man! I'm a felonist. Scott: Your secret's safe with me. Seamus: Ah cheese and crackers. Brian, I've been meaning to talk with you. It's been a long time since you brought a girl around here. Brian: Dad, the last time I brought a girl home Mom kept questioning her about whether she wanted to have a big family or not. Seamus: That's a fair question. Brian: We'd only been dating three weeks. David: What's the score? Scott: 34-10, Alabama. David: Need any help? Seamus: Nope, we're doing just fine here. Thanks. David: Ah. [can opening] Scott: So, you used to date Kate? David: I went out with Kate a couple of times in high school. We broke up when I asked her if we could go steady. Scott: Mm. David: She said she'd never belong to any man. Scott: [laughing] Yep, that's my Kate. Davd: Mm-hmm, but don't let her hear you say that. Scott: No, no, no. [laughing] Funny, I can't picture you and Kate together, even in high school. David: Me neither. [laughing] Scott: Come to think of it, sometimes I can't picture me and Kate together. You know what I mean? David: Yeah, I think we all know what you mean. Scott: But I love her. So, any tips about this family you'd care to share with me? David: Run like hell. Scott: No, I mean it. David: [laughing] So do I. Scott, you can't marry into this family. You have to be born into it, otherwise just hang on tight, keep your arms and legs inside the car. Don't ask me. I'm just passing through. [birds] Jeanne: Hi stranger. Sean: Hi. Jeanne: I thought I'd find you here. Sean: She was only 7 years old. Jeanne: I know. Dr. Ried called looking for you. Sean: Go ahead and say it. Jeanne: Whoever you are and whatever your plan is, I want to know where you're hiding my husband. Sean: Jeanne. Jeanne: He looks a lot like you, only he smiles more and he likes his work, and he's not distant and distracted around his family. Sean: Guilty as charged. Is this what a midlife crisis feels like? Jeanne: I wouldn't know. I'm not there quite yet. You're scaring me, Sean. Sean: I can't do this anymore Jeanne. I go to the hospital and I dread being there because every parent that I look at could be us and every child that I look at could be ours. And I give them my standard speech about the great advances we've made in treating childhood cancer and how so many of them will go on to lead normal lives when I know that too many of them won't because none of our advances are enough. Then I go to the office and I fight with an HMO who won't allow bone marrow transplant because they've decided that anything more complex than a drive thru tonsillectomy is an experimental procedure, when I know and they know that an experimental procedure is the best chance that some of these kids are going to get. And then I dread going home because everyone there knows that Daddy's in a bad mood again and that he treats his patients better than he does his family. And I tell myself I'll be a better father and a better husband and then I wake up the next day and nothing's changed. I'm still, at best, a halfway decent husband and a sometimes attentive father. I still have patients dying on Christmas Eve, and I don't know how to change it. I got into medicine to change it. Jeanne: Always the idealist. I love you for that you know? Sean: If I leave my practice our lifestyle is going to have to change, drastically. Jeanne: Well if my options are a smaller house, or an unhappy husband I'll take the smaller house. Sean: In Rochester, Minnesota? I don't now. It sounds like Pennsyltucky to me. Jeanne: Sean, anything west of Hackensack sounds like Pennsyltucky to me. Sean: The clinic wants an answer on Monday. I'm going to have to think some more about this. Jeanne: All right. Hey, do me a favor and think at home. You're mother will have my head on a platter if we're not back by supper. Sean: Marry me again? Jeanne: Anytime. [kiss] Kurt: Hey. Shannon: Kurt, what do you want? Kurt: Marry me? Shannon: For the third time, no. Kurt: Well, what are you going to do? Shannon: I have no idea. Get a job at McDonalds or something. Kurt: That's cool. What about me? Shannon: Kurt, just go back to whatever it was you were doing. Kurt: I can get a job you know. I can support you. I can get a job at Dairy Queen and we can buy a house or something. Shannon: I want to know how to support myself. Maybe then my brothers and sisters won't treat me like dirt. Kurt: Maybe they treat you like dirt because you don't respect them very much. Shannon: What would you know about it? I know we're not back together. Kurt: Well then can I just kind of like hang out here, like Darlene's ex-boyfriend did on Rosanne? Peg: Meghan, that's now how you make gravy. Meghan: No Mom that's not how you make gravy. It's how I make gravy. Don't worry about it. Brian: No Kate I'm telling you you're wrong. Kate: I am not wrong. Seamus: Where's the salt? Peg: Seamus, it's on the second shelf where it's been since we moved in. Seamus: No, it isn't. Kate: Do you make this stuff up? Kurt: So, everybody - Everybody! I was wondering if it'd be okay if I kind of stayed here a while even though Shannon and I aren't like together or anything. Kates: You're nuts. You're dreaming. Peg: Somebody take the dessert out of the freezer. And have it defrost. Where's David: Meghan: I don't know Mom, around I think. Mom, knock it off! Brian: I'm telling you Kate two of them were not mentioned in the song. Sean: I can't stand this right now. I'm going to call the hospital. Jeanne: I'll go check on the girls. Seamus: Where's the salt? Peg: Seamus Fitzgerald, look for it. Don't just stand there asking me. Brian: The Professor and Maryanne must have had really bad agents. Kate: Well at least they had agents Brian. All together: Amen. Peg: I'm sorry we have to rush dinner, but we have to be at church at 8:00. Brian: Mom, I know midnight mass is crowded, but don't you think leaving four hours early is a bit extreme? Jeanne: It's at 8:00? Seamus: Houliganism. They had a problem last year at midnight mass with houligans. It was the choir. Peg: Seamus it was not funny. Seamus: They had a Christmas party before mass, came in drunk and sang Grandma got run over by a reindeer for the processional. [laughing] Father Michael was very displeased and he moved midnight mass to 8:00. Peg: It was sacrilegious. Seamus: Too many Italians in the choir. Christmas Eve is a big thing for them you know. Brian: What does being Italian have to do with it? Peg: So, will you be going to midnight mass with us Scott? Kate: Of course. Scott: I don't think so. Kate: Yes Scott, you will. Scott: Hey, why would I be going to mass? Kate: Because it's Christmas. Scott: Kate, Christmas to me is an afternoon at the multiplex and dinner at Szechuan Kitchen. Kate: Welcome to the family. You're going to church. Scott: And why are you going? You're a pro birth control, pro abortion, pro assisted su1c1de, anti tuition tax credit anti marriage liberal who's living with a divorced atheist. Seamus: You're living in sin? Brian: Oh, couldn't be. She's Irish. Seamus: That's true. Brian: It is not true. We are not Irish, we just pretend. Shannon: [laughing] Sean: Shannon cut it out. Shannon: Cut out what? You're looking a little worn out there doc. Is being the best loved, first born son getting to you? Sean: You know since we're talking about living in sin dad, look no further than your darling Shannon. She sleeps with Freud thinks she's pregnant and she runs off to God knows where only pop up again here on Christmas Eve with - Brian: Einstein, Churchill, Thomas Edison. Sean: Thomas Edison in tow. Kurt: Kurt. Shannon: You're not my father Sean. He is. And don't make fun of Kurt. Sean: I'm not talking about Kurt Shannon. I'm talking about you. While we're on the subject, what would possess someone to change their name to honor a drug addled rock star who blew his own brains out? Kurt: He was my generation's martyred saint. Shannon: You're just jealous. Sean: Of what? Brian: I just love Christmas with the family. Pacem in terris. Jeanne: Brian, you live for this. You've always been the instigator. Brian: Well excuse me miss perfect hyphenated homemaker. Jeanne: You think my life is perfect? My brain is turning to mush while my husband works an 18-hour day, six days a week, and I sit at PTA meetings trying to make decisions like whether or not we should have a bake sale or a poinsettia sale. [talking over Sean] Or whether or not we should paint the cafeteria teal or maroon. That's the perfect life? Brian: Okay, don't talk to me. Not after what you did to my sister. David: Who me? Brian: Yes you. Scott: I thought you said you had to be born into this? Brian: And you who admit to your girlfriend's father and brothers that you cheated on your second wife. You had an affair with some tramp yourself. Kate: Hey, that tramp you're talking about is me. David: You think that I cheated on her? Did you tell them that I had an affair? Meghan: I didn't tell them anything. I didn't tell them that I couldn't have children and he wouldn't even talk to me about it when all I really needed was your shoulder to cry on. And I sure as hell did not tell anybody that anybody had an affair. It's true. Only, I'm the one that had the affair Brian. Not David. It was me. Seamus: Would you please pass the gravy? Peg: Nobody is passing any gravy. I don't want to know what commandments you've broken this week. And I don't want to hear anymore about which of the seven deadlies you've committed lately. And I don't want to hear anymore about this ugly house that we've moved into because we're getting older and it's not so easy to move around. Because we both know that the next step is one of those horrid little retirement communities in Florida where every pharmacy sells more adult diapers than baby diapers and there's a Pancake House on every corner serving earlybird dinners until 6:00. So, while I can I am trying my best to give you a pleasant Christmas, which isn't as easy as it used to be when I was younger and I had more energy. So I want you all to calm down, to shut up and to eat the gosh damn Christmas Eve dinner I've worked so hard on. Now then. What did you think of that breakin at the US Embassy in Manila last week Scott? Scott: It was terrible. Peg: Yes. Scott: Terrible. Sean: Are you going to smile for me? Sarah: How will Santa know that we're here? He thinks that we're at our house. Jeanne: I told you. Santa is very smart. Brian: That's right Sarah. Santa is a Mensa member. Jeanne: Let's go get that apple. [door opens and closes] Meghan: He left. Brian: Meghan, I am so sorry. Meghan: It's all right. It's all right. You guys would have found out anyway. It'd have to come out Catholic guilt and all. Sarah: For the reindeer. Don't eat. Brian: You are just like Mom and Dad except for they had that spotlight on top of their Super8 camera. Meghan: You know, I think you have reindeer apple duty Brian. Brian: I can't believe I'm doing this. Meghan: I don't know what I'm going to do without him Brian. I always thought we'd stay together forever and have a bunch of kids, and I'd stay home like Mom. When we found out I couldn't have children, it just - Brian: Adopt. Meghan: I know, we could adopt, but do you remember Laura Daniels? Brian: Mm-hmm. Meghan: About a year ago they adopted a baby and the birth parents took them to court and they took the baby back. I just couldn't - I can't go through that. Brian: Hey, that's a risk you're going to have to take. Meghan: I know. I guess I should have thought of that before I started having - Brian: Please. You're my sister. Don't conjure up any unsavory visual images. Meghan: I guess I have to go face the music huh? Brian: Meghan. Meghan: What? Brian: Does this look like reindeer bites? Meghan: Oh my God. I think it looks pretty good. Brian: All right. Kurt: I'm not high in the mountaintop and it's not weird and boring. If you had kids would you want to take them to church? Shannon: I said no. Kurt: So, if we had kids - Shannon: We're not having kids. Peg: Seamus, get up and eat the cookies we left for Santa. Seamus: Cookies. Kurt: Just the fact that you're talking to me at least gives me hope. Shannon: I'm talking to you because there's nobody else to talk to. Jackie: Sarah, you can't go out there. Sarah: Jackie, stop it. Sean: Brian, Brian! Guard the hallway. Peg: Sean, I've been meaning to speak to you about Shannon. You must be easier on her. She didn't have all the advantages that you had. Sean: Advantages? Before Dad took over the pub I thought that spam was a food group. Peg: That's exactly what I mean. Meghan: What are you doing? Jeanne: Writing the girls their letter from Santa. Meghan: Four score and seven years ago. [laughing] Jeanne: Looking for inspiration. Meghan: I guess. Sarah: Uncle Brian. Brian: Hey, back to bed. Peg: I'm sorry honey. Everything will be all right. I promise. Meghan: What does she have up her sleeve? Sarah: Dad, I can't sleep. Sean: Try harder. Sarah: I still need to talk to you. I'm coming out there. [yelling] Jackie: You're not going to read The Night Before Christmas to us again are you? Sean: Oh, yes I am. Scott: You can't write them checks. Kate: They'll love it. Scott: Get up. Kate: What? Where are we going? Scott: The toy store's open until midnight. Come on. Kate: Oh Scott. Scott: It's Christmas dammit. [phone ringing] Whoever you are, whatever you're calling about all I have to say is, it's Christmas dammit, go home. Oh, and Merry Christmas to you too. The Secretary of State wishes you a Merry Christmas. Come on, let's go. Sean: Are you sure you won't join us? I think she's too cool for us. Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that Saint Nicholaus soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug - Over to the window, I flew like a flash tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon - More rapid than eagles his courses they came and he whistled and shouted and called them by name. Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen. On Comet, on Cupid. Sarah: You can stop now. She's a sleep. Sean: What's wrong princess? Sarah: You have time to talk? Sean: Yeah. I'm sorry princess it's been a busy couple of days. Sarah: Is there a Santa Claus or not? Jackie told me that there isn't. Sean: Maybe this is one for your mother. Come here. Let's see. Jeanne: Penny for your thoughts. Sean: We're so lucky. Jeanne: Yeah. Sean: Jackie told this one about - Jeanne: Oh. My sister did the same thing to me. I guess they have to grow up sooner or later. Sean: Why does it always seem like it's sooner? Pretty soon Sarah will be after us for pierced ears and saying - Sean and Jeanne: [together] Whatever! Sean: I'm going to accept that offer at the clinic. Kate: Meghan. Meghan: Hmm? Kate: I'm sorry I was rude last night. Meghan: I know. Scott was under the bed. Kate: In the closet. [laughing] Kate: Why don't you marry him? Kate: You're a funny one to be recommending marriage. Meghan: Why not? I made such a success out of it. [sighs] Look at Sean and Jeanne. Look at Mom and Dad, for that matter. Kate: I do. That's why I don't get married. Meghan: Funny. That's why I did. Kate: I said something wrong again right? Meghan: No. I'm just not tired. I think I'll - I'll go tree gaze for a little while. Kate: Meghan. Meghan: What? Kate: I'm proud of you. Meghan: Thanks. Night. Kate: Night. Peg: Hi there. Meghan: I didn't see you over there. Peg: Tissue? Meghan: No, I think I'm okay for the time being. What's the matter Mom? Peg: It used to be so simple, a bandaid, a kiss, all was better. I was good at that. But I'm not good at troubled marriages and runaways and whatever's troubling Sean. Meghan: Don't forget the lawyers and the actors Mom. Peg: Why didn't you tell us about the problems you were having? Meghan: Did you really want to know that I was having an affair, Mom? Peg: Well, maybe I could have stopped it. Meghan: [laughing] You're a crazy old woman, Mom. Do you think that David and I - Peg: Meghan, don't ask me that. Everything has changed so much. It seems the world has passed me by, and I don't know what to think anymore. Meghan: Then just tell me everything's going to be okay. Peg: Oh, that it will. Somehow. [upbeat music] Jeanne: Too early. Go back to bed. Sean: Oh honey, it's too early. Go back to bed. Jeanne: No. Sean: Uh-uh. Jeanne: No. Sean: Uh. Jeanne: Okay. You win. Jackie: Wake up Daddy. Wake up. Sean: No honey, it's too early. Go back to bed. Jeanne: No Sean. It's 6:00. We might as well get up. You girls go wake everybody else up. Jackie: Woohoo. [laughing] Sean: I was hoping that their discovery about Santa would get us a little extra sleep. Jeanne: Not a chance. Sean: [sighs] Hey, hey, look. Oh! Santa was here too. Jeanne: Thank you. [kiss] Sean: Merry Christmas. [kiss] Jeanne: Merry Christmas. Brian: I can't believe you let them wake us up at 6:00 in the morning. Sean: Here we go. Jeanne: Yep. Kurt: Spielberg. Spielberg. Spielberg. Oh. Shannon: Weirdo. Seamus: Oh. I think I'll go downstairs and look for that antique model train set. Sean: Right. [patting] Brian: Oh, you got it Dad. Scott: Maybe I can help. Excuse me darling. Kurt: Oliver Stone. Peg: Seamus Fitzgerald freeze. Do you think I don't know what's down in that basement? Seamus: But darling. Peg: Do you think that I don't know that you boys have spent a good portion of the time this weekend watching television on a television set that is supposedly hidden from me in your tool cabinet? A television set that my first born brought back with him on Friday night after his first trip to the hospital? And do you think that I don't know that it's 44-42 Bulls with two minutes to go in the second quarter? Seamus: But how did you find all that out? Peg: Seamus, darling. I know everything that goes on in these four walls. And you should go to confession Katherine Mary, but pity the poor priest who will listen to your confession. He'll have a sore bottom by the time you're done. Scott: [laughing] Kate: Yeah, what's so funny? Scott: Your family. They're just like mine. Kate: No they're not. You're family likes me just the way I am. Scott: They'd like you a lot more if you'd stay at home and have children. But we can talk about that some other time. [kiss] Peg: But you Seamus darling, are oblivious to many things that are obvious to the female eye. And Santa has brought you one present, which you haven't yet found. So, sit down. Kate: Oh no. Peg: Well, open it Seamus. Seamus: I'm afraid to darling. Peg: Nonsense dear. Open it. [paper crinkling] Seamus: All right. [everyone cheering] Now I'll be a happy man. Peg: [laughing] Seamus: But where did you hide the old set? Peg: Oh, some place I knew you would never look. It was hidden behind all the cleaning supplies. [laughing] Uncle Kevin's family where be here in an hour. Kate: Ever notice how the women spend their holidays cooking and cleaning while the men spend them in front of the TV? Jeanne: Kate, I'll let you in on a little secret. If men were in charge of the holidays we'd have our Christmas dinner of Kentucky Fried Chicken served on paper plates surrounded by dirty clothes thrown on the floor. You wouldn't want that would you? Peg: Jeanne, wine glasses go all the way to the right. These are on the left. Shannon: Sean? Sean: Yeah? Shannon: Can we talk? Sean: Yeah, sure go ahead. Shannon: No Sean. I need to have a serious talk. Sean: Oh. Okay. What's up? Shannon: Why do you hate me? [door slams] Sean: I don't hate you Shannon. I think you're irresponsible. Shannon: I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know what I'm doing period. I can't stick with school, I can't stick with a job. I tell myself I can do better and I will do better, but I never do. Sean: Shannon, I apologize. Shannon: What? Sean: I'm sorry. I know I've been pretty hard on you, but I just don't think that you're being fair to Mom and Dad. You've given them a pretty hard time. First you disappear to Seattle. Then you pop back up here - Shannon: They knew where I was. Sean: You let them know that you arrived safely after you hitchhiked across country. Honestly, if one of my girls does half the things you've done, I'll be terrified. Shannon: But what do I do? Go back to school? Get a deadend job? Sean: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I've never been there. I can't tell you what to do. I can only tell you what not to do. I know I'm spouting platitudes. I'm not good at advice. I'm good at self righteousness. Shannon: Of course you are. You're a Fitzgerald. [laughing] Sean: Listen, Shannon. If you ever need Jeanne or me all you have to do is pick up the phone. You'll have to listen to me tell you everything you've done wrong, but we'll be there for you if you need us. Peg: Sean, Shannon, could you go pick up Nana? Shannon: Oh boy, has she bought a hearing aid yet? Sean: [yelling] Can't hear a thing! Shannon: [yelling] What? [laughing] Huh? Nana: Margaret, this cake is dry. Why don't you just make it from scratch? All good cooks make it from scratch. Seamus: So, when I was up at church I got an update on the annual choir Christmas party from Father Michael. Seems Dan Waznowski spent last night in jail. Scott: What can you do? The Polish have tempers. Seamus: That's what I said. But Father Michael said the folk group tried to crash the choir party, and it got a little bit out of control. Brian: I can see it now. Just like the Jets and the Sharks. Kate: You know, behavior like that is probably why you can't get a job. Peg: Okay, all right thank you. Uncle Kevin: Oh no. We didn't take pictures. [yelling] Nana: Am I seeing lightning again? [everyone talking] Nana: Oh, I hope I closed the windows. [everyone talking] Margaret, this cake is so dry. It chokes me. Brian: Nana, you want some water? Nana: Dear, you don't need to yell. I'm wearing my new hearing aid. Aunt Mary: Elizabeth Ann was dating a lovely boy until a month ago. Sean, you know any nice doctors for my daughter? Nana: Well maybe Sean could find you some nice doctors in Minnesota. He's moving there you know. He and Shannon were talking about it in the car. Sean: Well. Uh. I, um, I guess I have an announcement to make. I'm giving up my practice. [everyone yelling] I've accepted a position at researching a new therapy in childhood cancers and I've been invited to join the faculty at the medical school. Kurt: So, is that the T2 Z protocols? Sean: Yeah, it is. Kate: The what? Kurt: T2 Z is a type of drug found in the leaf of the basilicus carnate plant, or it's better known as serrata plant. That's what the natives call it. This plant has many pharmaceutical uses, but most important when they tested it on rats they found that it reduced the size of preexisting tumors. I'm over simplifying of course. Sean: That's basically right. Brian: Hey Einstein, where'd you learn that? Kurt: Scientific American. Sean: Anyway, I won't be leaving until February. Kate: I don't understand why you'd give up such a lucrative practice. You must be taking a huge paycut. Sean: Kate. One of my friends is a pediatric orthopedist. He says that the greatest joy in his life is seeing his patients grow up. I don't get a chance to do that nearly enough. So, I'm going out there to see what I can do about that. Anyway, you're all invited to Minnesota for next Christmas. Scott: Hey, I'll be there. Uncle Kevin: Since we're all making announcements, Patrick tell them. Patrick: Well, I've been in the seminary since September and I've decided to become a priest. [applause] Sean: I guess I've been upstaged. [applause] [upbeat music] Sean: Hey Brian, you need a ride? Brian: No actually my ride is on its way. Sean: You want to grab some of the stuff on the porch? Brian: Sure. Kate: No, I don't think so. I'm driving. Scott: No, you're not. I got us here. Kate: It took six hours. We stalled every four minutes. I'm driving. Scott: No you're not. Jeanne: You okay? Meghan: Yeah. Sean: You almost ready? Jeanne: Yeah, where are the girls? Sean: Sarah is in the car. Jackie is admiring her new double pierced ears. Jeanne: Her what? Sean: Shannon was just being helpful. Brian: Bye. See you brother. Jeanne: See you later. Brian: My ride is here. Peg: Bye, love you. Brian: Scott, nice to meet you man. Peg: Brian! Aren't you going to introduce us to her? Brian: What am I crazy? Peg: Well that was very rude of him not to introduce us. I'll have to talk to him. Kate: No, that was very smart. I'll have to call him. Sean: Hey, hug me. Peg: Oh! Kate: Well okay. Meghan: Bye. Sean: Call me. Meghan: I will. I'm going to follow you guys out. Sean: Don't call me please. Kate: Yeah. [everyone talking] Meghan: I'm going to follow them. Okay? Seamus: [sighs] Well that was fun. Peg: [laughing] Seamus: Now let's go watch some TV. Peg: Seamus. Seamus: Yes darling. Peg: That girl Brian was with, do you think she wants a big family? Seamus: I don't know we'll get the chance to ask. Peg: What do you mean? Kate: See? See how easy this is? Scott: Thank you I learn so much from you Kate. I love you. [music]	{"type": "movie", "show": "Jingle Hell (2000)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Sachiko, come out. Sachiko, come out. Sachiko, come out. Sachiko, come out. Sachiko, come out. Sachiko, come out. Okay, let's start. One...Two... I'm knew that doing this wasn't going to work. I'm actually relieved. I'm not going to do it again. If the legend is true, then we will never be separated. This is just a game. It's just a game. Why ? -What happened? What are all these pictures ? What is that? Rina Ikoma [ Nogizaka ] Maeda Nozomi Ryosuke Ikeoka Ishikawa Koi Arisa Mizuho Yoko Kita Matsuura Ayumi Naito Hironobu Nijika Ishimori [ Keyakizaka ] Aoki Tsunenori [ Original ] Team GrisGris/ pb.Games [MAGES.] [ Screenplay ] Yoshimasa Akamatsu [ Screenplay supervision ] Yoshinobu Hosono [ Music ] Mao Hamamoto [ Director ] Masafumi Yamada Corpse Party : Book of Shadows Hey, it was Nakashima-San . I heard it was very stressful for her in the hospital. Losing someone, there is nothing more frustrating. Satoshi, Seiko and the others. She was what the teacher called a cocoon. There are others as well, her classmates. Daily Takashi Suzuk Ayumi Shinozaki The second person was also like Nakashima-San. The dad ......has never looked into this before. You and I also held it in the palm of our hand. It's all my fault. You and I did not even think that we could come back. Mochida shouldn't have ended up like that Nakashima-San , I gave you ....a....a .......fake piece of paper. Hey....., what do you mean ? Nakashima-San , but instead .......you are here with me. Mochida-kun was so busy with you But,I hoped that I would come back with Mochida and hope if the paper was lost with you Nakashima-San...... I am sorry. I AM SORRY ! I am sorry. I'm also responsible for what happened to him. But........ it is because of Sachiko. I don't blame you, Shinozaki. I was expecting you, Nakashima. Maybe we can save everyone. Everyone. I figured.... no one believes in the legend. But...it's not the same with my sister Now I have.... a way to save them. Onee-Chan. [ Tenjin Town Bunshin newspaper ] [ Continuous case of child disappearance ] [ Female childhood sisters still missing. ] [ The janitor still being investigated.] [ Sachiko bone has the ability to return to the main ritual ceremony.] What is that ? Sachiko's bone. With this it looks like we have a chance..... to go back to the school. It has the ability to play back time ? But I don't know if it will take us to same point in time as before. This is probably the only chance we have. So..... This is Sachiko's taboo spiritual power black magic. There can be .....no such thing. But, if it is possible to save everyone, I wanted to try it I will help them, Nakashima-San. What should I do ? Let's save the others from Sachiko.....then come back here No matter what will happen, I will follow you. Finally ... Seiko. Seiko. Naomi. How can you be here? I'm sorry. You must be so scared. I couldn't find anyone else. Naomi? Let's go home. Together. I am fine I will not leave you alone. Is your leg okay? Let's go back to the infirmary. I am fine. We must find Shinozaki-San first. Seiko. your neck ..... What's wrong with my neck ? I always feel like there's something wrapped around it. We have to hurry. What's wrong , huh ? We're too late. Shinozaki, you must know what will happen next. But.... I can not save Yui, Sensi, and Suzuki. In fact, I'm going to trust what you say. If we had a little bit faster. Kishinuma-kun? It hurts right here. Hey, Shinozaki Shinozaki, .....who's going to die next? You've seen it all before. It's..... Mochida! It's Satoshi , he's coming Mochida! [ Tenjin Elementary School Main Building Floor Home Economics Room. ] Shinozaki-San , [ Tenjin Elementary School Main Building Floor Home Economics Room. ] Shinozaki-San, where are you ? Who is that ? [ Shigeru Mori ] Who could have done that? Sachiko. -The children are cursed. -The children are cursed. -The children are cursed. -The children are cursed. -The children are cursed. -The children are cursed. -Death is destined for children who escape from the curse. Already destined to die but still escape. -The children are cursed. Sachiko's bone . Ayumi-Chan, I'm coming. [ Record of Deaths. ] [ Tenjin Primary School ] [ Book of Shadows.] [ Many ] [ nd Floor Tenjin Primary School Principal's Office.] Yuka ! She's here. Yuka. Onii-Chan Yuka. Are you okay? Onii-Chan. Onii-Chan. Onii-Chan. Sachiko. Let's go. Onee-Chan, your umbrella. -Don't worry about the umbrella! Yuka. Sachiko-Chan. Mochida! Friend, this is for you. Death. Nakashima-San ? Everyone, run quickly! Let's go, quickly. [ Tenjin Primary School Main Building rd Floor Warehouse. ] Kurosaki-kun , I..... already know I'm going to die. What nonsense is this ? I will definitely save you. It was I who suggested playing this sinister game. It's my fault that ... Kurosaki-kun, run quick. I want both of us to survive. Impossible. Are you okay ? Kizami-kun. You're still alive. Good. What's wrong with your eye ? There is a ghost child who did it. She must be very ugly. Or not so pretty. I'm happy to see you again [ Kaetsuko Gakuen -A classroom. ] Finally ... 今週の予定 Schedule for this week 宿題 Homework 持ち物 What to bring. [ Tenjin Elementary School basement ] Satoshi. Since childhood we would always be together. I would always tightly hold her hand. Why do things like this have to happen. -The children are cursed. -The children are cursed. -The children are cursed. -The children are cursed. Let's go home. You said you and Shinozaki got back here through time and space. Then I could bring Yuka back. But it's..... It's not impossible. Satochi. It's okay. You can go see your mother. You can go back to her and be together. We must go back now. Quickly go back to the original classroom. - Let's go. Hurry. Over here, hurry. Ah, this earthquake was too strong Naomi ! There are others. I heard it. We have to get out of here! Sachiko is gone, therefore..... The building is collapsing! I can't just stand by and do nothing! -Naomi! What are you doing? I could ask the same of you! You guys are also here because the Sachiko game? Yes. You guys were playing with Sachiko paper dolls? These? Let's play it again. Putting the pieces back together will end the game. Then the world will return to the original world. Return back? -Let's try it. Do you guys remember where you were the first time you came here? In a room where there is a blackboard displaying two evil creatures. Same as us Nakashima-San , hurry. [ Tenjin Primary School Annex Building rd Floor Music Room. ] It's okay , stay calm. Nakashima-San. This is yours. Thank you. I am sorry. Let's go home. Listen to me. We will all start chanting Sachiko the number of time, then do the spell then we will unite Sachiko paper dolls. Then we can return to the original world. Sachiko, come out! [ School of Science.] Sachiko, come out. Sachiko, come out. What happened? I do not know. You're lying.. What are you saying ? How is this possible? Naomi, don't be like this,okay? We'll try again. Maybe there is something we did wrong earlier. Seiko. It is okay, I will always be with you........ Why? Sachiko. Why? Time to play. Time to play. Time to play. Time to play. What are you doing?! -Stop it ! Kirisaki is ....! She is dad! Kizami.... Come out and play. Come out and play. [ Staff room. ] [ School of Science ] Seiko. It was Sachiko who created this curse. Let's defeat Sachiko. Then we can return to the normal world. But, It had no effect at all. Why? I don't know. Eventually , there is nothing we can do! -Staying here also will not help. We also have to find your friends. But it's too dangerous to go out there going out there looking for the others in the end will never find them. It's better than just sitting here waiting . But..... Our friends ................have all been klled But her friend are still alive. Kizami? Thank you. It's okay. We'll follow you. Why's there a video recorder here? Perhaps we can find another. What does it mean? Maybe there are other video recorders placed elsewhere. But the screening room can see all the places the camera recorders are . So, we don't have to search too far. [ Tenjin Primary School Main Building Third Floor Audio-Visual Room. ] Look like no one's here. [ Tenjin Primary School Main Building Third Floor Audio-Visual Room. ] [ Tenjin Primary School Main Building Third Floor Audio-Visual Room. ] How can this be? It wasn't like this before. That may be due to the earthquake. It's okay. It doesn't seem to be damaged. Kurosaki, come help me. Will you please go look and make sure nothing's coming. The repairs to the TV is finished. It looks like we will need to go and find them ourselves. Wait! There must be something in the video. So, please be patient a little while longer , maybe there will be a clue It's....Isn't that Urabe? -Why? How could this have happened?- -Kizami.....why? -Kizami.......why? Why'd you do it? Kizami.......why? -Kizami. -Why? Give it up , there's nothing else you can do. I do not want to die here because of a ghosts revenge. Rest assured it won't let her get away. So, I'm going to save you from that fate. -Why? -Why? -Why? You..... -Kizami, please. -Why ? Your friend, the one who wears glasses. Morishige-kun. His face was covered with blood. Very disgusting. You can't stand up? Therefore, seek out me , the face of mercy. You.....why? A lot of people are dad , klled by the ghost. Or is it because I klled them. Actually it's just the same. Kizami, Until now, I have seen a variety of dad life forms around here. Even in the end you don't give up. It's a very beautiful and perfect life. Why.... did this happen? There's really nothing you can do. Let's get out of here. Katayama , just hold on. Never mind What? He can't be moved. We can't escape with him like that. Katayama......hold on, okay. Stop worrying about him! How can you say that? I can't believe you're saying this. That's mrder! I..... just..... mrder! It was very interesting. When man realized that death is imminent this will show you what the end of human life looks like. Enough already! How about you? Where are you going to run?! Clearly, there's no escape. Shinozaki, what do we do now ? I don't know! Don't say you don't know! You got us this far and you don't know what to do ,Shinozaki! You talk too much. Mochida's right. This is my fault. Guys. Time to play. Come out and play. Come out and play. Come out and play. Nakashima-San I am sorry! I am sorry! Yiyi curse : Om Ah hum Yiyi curse : Om Ah hum Onee-Chan Come on, hurry. [Tenjin Primary School rd Floor Reference Room ] I thought we defeated Sachiko , what's going on? That wasn't Sachiko. What are you saying ? Even though she wasn't born from a mothers womb Sachiko has a twin .....Sacheon. Twin? Fortunately .......Sachiko saved us. Sachiko now has ascended to heaven. Fortunately.. we have survived up until now. For that reason we can't waste anymore time. What about Nakashima and the others? Is it possible that she survived? Impossible. That's why......we shouldn't hang around here any longer. She could keep us here for a long time? That's why......... we must hurry back! Back...........back where? Back to our world! But...we couldn't find our way out of here. the crack in space and time hasn't closed yet. In that case.......... we must hurry. It should still be there! We must hurry , quickly! Not yet! We must find Naomi first. We don't have much time! How can you leave Naomi here? --I understand! But........that's why I will look for Naomi. You guys can go back. Let's go back. How much time do we have left? Exactly ten minutes. It's impossible. Ten minutes. I can definitely find Naomi Let's go back. Mochida-kun....... please find Nakashima. Please find everyone. Shinozaki..... I'm fine , really. That was weird. You've been trying really hard. Everyone You're all here. Nakashima .....was last seen in this area. What about your friends? klled by the child in black. I couldn't save them. Nakashima-San ran after seeing what had happened. Nakashima-San! Everyone! I .....heard a noise over here! Nakashima-San! Nakashima-San. Did you really hear something? Why is blood dripping down your arm? This is Kurosaki's blood. If I'm wrong , I am sorry. Remove your jacket so we can see. What's wrong? You just ruined my plan. I wanted to kll all of you! Satoshi! YOU BASTARD!!! I'm going to kll you. SHINOZAKI!!!! Die you. LIE THERE AND DIE!!!! See. Ayumi-Chan. Shinozaki, run! No! I won't ! You guys are very brave! Your screams........... Just get LOUDER! Now you listen. -Come out and play. -Come out and play. -Come out and play. The opening in space and time it's gone. Tried to save the others..... So , I...... It's okay. I am here with you. Shinozaki-San. Are you Nakashima-San? Yes. We tried but....... we could not save the others. and also........... we got you involved in all of this. I was wrong to underestimate Ayumi's feelings for the others. That's the reason I finally decided to come here. What are you saying? It's because I also want to help save her friends. -That's why you have...... Sachiko's bone brought me into this world. Since the game as already gn the others will not be freed from the curse. I found this in Tenjin Primary School. There in the record is all of all the magic taboos it's called "The Book of Shadows." Book of Shadows? It is said, that there are ways to revive the dad. Then we can use it to...... But , I don't know where the book is. Let's look for it together. But, even if we succeed in finding the book we have no way of returning to our world. All right. Come on , let's go find it together. Now I know why Ayumi thinks so highly of you.. What? She always saying. "I want to be as strong as Nakashima." Shinozaki-San. Nakashima-San. Be careful there are still evil spirits around here. -Over here. Nakashima-San. I hear Sachiko's voice. -Over here. -Over here. -Over here. Sachiko is calling us. -Over here. Hinoe-San. This is the last moment of glory. NO!! No! No! No! Even people who are dying still want to live. -Over here. The voice is coming from over there. Onee-Chan. Shinozaki-San , hurry. I can't do it anymore. It's over, this is our fate. Maybe so Maybe there's nothing we can do. But, we have to try and save them I want to hear their voices when we go back. Although there is a slim possibility we have to at least try. Nakashima-San. I am not...... a strong person and they certainly won't give up that easily. Come on. -Over here. Is the voice coming from here? I don't know. -Over here. It sounds like it's coming from over there. -Over here. -Over here. Nakashima-San be careful. -Over here. -Over here. -Over here. -Over here. -Over here. -Over here. -Over here. Is this the place ? Yes. Where.....are..... YOU GUYS ! Come......out......and......play. Come......out......and......play. Finally......meet. I can't do this anymore. I just can't. Shinozaki-San. Don't give up! We have to have the others! ENOUGH ALREADY! Shinozaki-San. Die, You ......are...... d*ad I don't want to lose you again Shinozaki-San! -Listen to me! Save the others! Follow the instructions in the book. Follow...... the instructions in the book! What does that mean? -Nakashima-San! It's all up to you! STOP!!!! SHINOZAKI-SAN!!!! -Over here. -Over here. -Over here. -Over here. -Over here. But.... what do I do? Class Day Leaders Takashi Suzuki Ayumi Shinozaki Shinozaki-San isn't here. The book Alright now, what do I do? Follow the instructions in the book. Please! Bring them all back to life. -Ah, measure first before mixing together. -Today is the last day. -Second-graders must have been very busy today. Everybody. -Get away from me. Onee-Chan. Naomi Nakashima-San. Naomi! Nakashima-San. -Hey, Nakashima. Class Day Leaders Takashi Suzuki Shinozaki Ayumi Everybody, I'm here. Naomi! Nakashima! Naom! Naomi. -Naomi, --Nakashima ---Nakashima-San Thank you.. [ Mochida ] -Naomi, --Nakashima ---Nakashima-San Thank you.. -Naomi, --Nakashima ---Nakashima-San Thank you.. Is......this......what.....you......want...... Nakashima Class Day Leaders Takashi Suzuki Shinozaki A Class Day Leaders Takashi Suzuki The Cast Naomi Nakashima: Rina Ikoma (Nogizaka , AKB ) Ayumi Shinozaki: Nozomi Maeda Satoshi Mochida: Ryōsuke Ikeoka Tohko Kirisaki: Ren Ishikawa Kensuke Kurosaki: Atomu Mizuishi Yoshiki Kishinuma: JUN (BEE SHUFFLE) Seiko Shinohara: Yōko Kita Hinoe Shinozaki: Nijika Ishimori (Keyakizaka ) Yuuya Kizami: Tsunenori Aoki Yuka Mochida: Ayu Matsuura Sachiko Shinozaki: Honoka Naito Mitsuki Yamamoto: Hitomi Noda Emi Urabe: Rinka Ichishima	{"type": "movie", "show": "Corpse Party: Book of Shadows (2016)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
( narrating) Ardeth bay: Thebes, City of the Living, crown Jewel of Pharaoh SETI the First. Home of Imhotep, Pharaoh's high priest, keeper of the dad. Birthplace of Anck-Su-Namun, Pharaoh's mistress. No other man was allowed to touch her... But for their love, they were willing to risk life itself. Pharaoh: What are you doing here? Who has touched you?! Imhotep?! My Priest! Anck su Namon: Pharaoh's bodyguards. You must go! Save yourself! Imhotep: No! Anck su Namon: Only you can resurrect me! Imhotep : I won't leave you! Get away from me! Imhotep; You shall live again! I will resurrect you! Anck su Namon; My body is no longer his Temple! ( narrating) Ardeth bay: To resurrect Anck-Su-Namun, Imhotep and his priests broke into her crypt and stole her body. They raced deep into the desert, taking Anck-Su-Namun's corpse to Hamunaptra, City of the dad, HAMUNAPTRA - 1290 B.C. ancient burial site for the sons of pharaohs and resting place for the wealth of Egypt. For his love, Imhotep dared the gods' anger by going deep into the city, where he took the black Book of the dad from it's holy resting place. Anck-Su-Namun's soul had been sent to the dark underworld, her vital organs removed and placed in five sacred Canopic jars. Anck-Su-Namun's soul had come back from the dad, but Pharaoh's bodyguards had followed lmhotep and stopped him before the ritual could be completed. Imhotep's priests were condemned to be mummified alive. As for. Imhotep, he was condemned to endure the Hom-Dai, the worst of all ancient curses. One so horrible, it had never before been bestowed. He was to remain sealed inside his sarcophagus, be undead for all of eternity. The Magi would never allow him to be released, for he would arise a walking disease, a plague upon mankind, an unholy flesh-eater with the strength of ages, power over the sands, and the Glory of invincibility. HAMUNAPTRA - 1923 For 3,000 years, men and armies fought over this land, never knowing what evil lay beneath it. And for 3,000 years, we, the Magi, the descendants of Pharaoh's sacred bodyguards, kept watch. You just got promoted. Rick O’ Connell: Steady! You're with me on this one, right? Benny: Your strength gives me strength. Rick; Steady! Wait! Wait for me! Rick: Steady! fre! Run, Beni! Run! Get inside! Get inside! Hey! Don't you close that door! Don't you close that door! You will die. You will die. Ardeth bay; The Creature remains undiscovered. And what of this one? Should we kll him? Ardeth bay: No. The desert will kll him. CAIRO, EGYPT - 3 YEARS LATER Evelyn: Sacred stones, sculpture and aesthetics, Socrates, Seth, volume one, volume two, and volume three. And... Tuthmosis. What are you doing here? T. T, t, t... T. I'm going to put you where you belong! Help. Oops. Terrence bey: : What... How... Oh, look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs! Flies! Locusts! Anything but you! Compared to you, the other plagues were a Joy! Evelyn: I am so very sorry. It was an accident. Terrence bey: My girl, when Rameses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe! Look at my library! Why do I put up with you? Evelyn; Well, you put up with me because I can... I can read and write Ancient Egyptian, and I can... I can decipher hieroglyphics and hieratic, and, well, I am the only person within 1,000 Miles who knows how to properly code and catalog this library, that's why. Terrence bey: I put up with you because your father and mother were our finest patrons. That's why! Allah rest their souls. Now, I don't care how you do it, I don't care how long it takes, straighten up this meshiver! Evelyn: Hello? Abdul? Mohammed? Bob? Have you no respect for the dad? Jonathan: Of course I do. But sometimes I'd rather like to join them. Evelyn: Well, I wish you would do it before you ruin my career the way you've ruined yours. Now, get out. Jonathan: My dear, sweet baby sister. I'll have you know that, at this precise moment, my career is on a high note. Evelyn: High note, ha! Jonathan, please, I'm really not in the mood for you. I've just made a bit of a mess in the library, and the Bembridge scholars have rejected my application form again. They say I don't have enough experience in the field. Jonathan: You'll always have me, old mum. Besides, I have just the thing to cheer you up. Evelyn; Oh, no, Jonathan, not another worthless trinket. If I have to take one more piece of junk to the curator to try and sell for you. Where did you get this? Jonathan: On a dig down in Thebes. My whole life, I've never found anything, Evy. Please tell me I've found something. Evelyn; Jonathan. Jonathan; Yes? Evelyn: I think you've found something. You see the cartouche there? It's the official Royal seal of SETI the First, I'm sure of it. Terrence bey: Perhaps. Jonathan: Two questions. Who the hell was SETI the First, and was he rich? Evelyn; He was the second pharaoh of the 19th dynasty, said to be the wealthiest pharaoh of them all. Jonathan: Good. I like this fellow. I like him very much. I've already dated the map. It's almost 3,000 years old. And if you look at the hieratic just here, well, it's Hamunaptra. Terrence bey; Dear God, don't be ridiculous. We're scholars, not treasure hunters. Hamunaptra's a myth told by ancient Arab storytellers to amuse Greek and Roman tourists. Evelyn: : I know all the blather about the city being protected by the curse of a mummy, but my research has led me to believe that the city itself may have actually existed. Jonathan: Are we talking about the Hamunaptra? Evelyn: Yes. The City of the dad. Where the earliest pharaohs were said to have hidden the wealth of Egypt? Jonathan: Yes, yes, in a big, underground treasure chamber. Heh! - Oh, come on. Everybody knows the story. The entire necropolis was rigged to sink into the sand on Pharaoh's command? A flick of a switch, and the whole place would disappear beneath the sand dunes, taking the treasure with it? Terrence bey; As the Americans would say, it's all fairy tales and hokum. Oh, my goodness! Look at that! Jonathan: You've burnt it! You've brned off the part with the lost city? Terrence bey: It's for the best, I'm sure. Many men have wasted their lives in the foolish pursuit of Hamunaptra. No one's ever found it. Most have never returned. Come, come! Step over the threshold. Welcome to Cairo Prison, my humble home. Evelyn: You told me that you got it on a dig down in Thebes. Jonathan: Yeah, well, I was mistaken. Evelyn; You lied to me. Jonathan: I lie to everybody. What makes you so special? Evelyn: I am your sister. - Jonathan: That just makes you more gullible. Evelyn: You stole it from a drunk at the local casbah? Jonathan; Picked his pocket, actually, so I don't think it's a very good... Evelyn: Stop being so ridiculous. What exactly is this man in prison for? Warden: This I did not know. But when I heard that you were coming, I asked him that myself. Evelyn; And what did he say? Warden; He said he was just looking for a good time. Evelyn; This is the man that you stole it from? - Jonathan; Yes, exactly? So why don't we just go sniff out a spot of tiff in... Rick: Who are you? And who's the broad? Evelyn: "Broad"? Jonathan; I'm just a local sort of missionary chap, spreading the good word, but this is my sister, Evy. How do you do? Rick: Oh, well. Guess she's not a total loss. - Evelyn: I beg your pardon? I'll be back in a moment? Ask him about the box. We have found... Evelyn: Hello. Excuse me? We both found your puzzle box, and we've come to ask you about it? Rick; No. No? Rick: No. You came to ask me about Hamunaptra. Evelyn: How do you know the box pertains to Hamunaptra? Rick: Because that's where I was when I found it. I was there. Jonathan; But how do we know that's not a load of pig's wallow? Rick: Do I know you? Jonathan: No, no. I've just got one of those faces. Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra? Rick: Yeah, I was there. Evelyn; You swear? Rick: Every damn day. - Evelyn: I didn't mean that... Rick; I know. I was there. SETI's place. City of the dad. Evelyn; Could you tell me how to get there? I mean, the exact location? Rick: You want to know? Evelyn: Well, yes? Rick: Do you really want to know? Evelyn: Yes? Rick: Then get me the hell out of here! Do it, lady! Evelyn: Where are they taking him? Warden: To be hanged? Apparently, he had a very good time? Evelyn; I will give you £100 to save this man's life. Warden: Madame, I would pay £100 just to see him hang. Evelyn: £200. Warden; Proceed! Evelyn: £300. Warden: Any last requests, pig? Rick: Yeah? Loosen the knot and let me go. Of course we don't let him go! Evelyn: £500! Warden: And what else? I'm a very lonely man. Evelyn: No! Warden: His neck did not break. Oh, I'm so sorry. Now, we must watch him strangle to death. He knows the location to Hamunaptra. Warden: You lie. Evelyn; I would never! Warden: Are you telling me this filthy, godless son of a pig knows where to find the City of the dad? - Evelyn: Yes! Warden: Truly? Evelyn: Yes! And if you cut him down, we will give you... 10 % Warden: 50 % Evelyn: Twenty. Warden: Forty. Thirty! Evelyn: Twenty five. Warden: Deal. Cut him down! GIZA PORT - CAIRO Do you really think he's going to show up? Yes, undoubtedly, knowing my luck. Jonathan: He may be a cowboy, but I know the breed. His word is his word. Evelyn; Well, personally I think he's filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don't like him one bit. Rick: Anyone I know? Evelyn; Oh. Hello. Jonathan: Smashing day for the start of an adventure, eh, O'Connell? Yeah. Yeah, smashing. Rick: Oh, no, no, I'd never steal from a partner, partner. Jonathan; That reminds me? No hard feelings about the... Rick; Oh, no, no. Happens all the time. - Evelyn: Mr. O'Connell? Can you look me in the eye and guarantee me this isn't some sort of a flimflam? Because if it is, I am warning you... - Rick; You're warning me? Lady, let me put it this way, my whole damn Garrison believed in this so much that without orders, they marched halfway across Libya and into Egypt to find that city. When we got there, all we found was sand and blood. Let me get your bags. Jonathan: Yes, yes, you're right. Filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. Nothing to like there at all. Warden: Bright good morning to all. Oh, no. What are you doing here? Warden: I'm here to protect my investment, thank you very much. Quit playing with your glasses and cut the deck, Burns. Mr Burns: Without my glasses I can't see the deck to cut it, Dave. O'Connell, sit down. We could use another player. Rick: I only gamble with my life, never my money. - Never? What if I was to bet you $500 we get to Hamunaptra before you? Rick: You're looking for Hamunaptra? Mr henderson: Damn straight we are. Rick; And who says we are? Mr daniels: He does. Well... Well, how about it? Is it a bet? All right, you're on. - Rick; What makes you so confident, Mr Sir? What makes you? - Mr daniels: We got us a man who's actually been there. Jonathan; Oh, what a coincidence, because O'Connell... Whose play is it? Is it my play? I thought... Gentlemen, we got us a wager. Rick: Good evening, Jonathan. Jonathan; Night. Rick: Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. Evelyn; The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners. Rick; Still angry about that kiss, huh? Evelyn: Well, if you call that a kiss. Did I miss something? Are we... Are we going into battle? Rick: Lady, there's something out there. Something underneath that sand. Evelyn: Yes, well, I'm hoping to find a certain artifact. A book, actually. My brother thinks there's treasure. What do you think's out there? - Rick: In a word? Evil. The Bedouin and the Tuaregs believe that Hamunaptra is cursed. Evelyn: Oh, look, I don't believe in fairy tales and hokum, Mr. O'Connell, but I do believe one of the most famous books in history is buried there. The Book of Amun-Ra. It contains within it all the secret incantations of the old kingdom. It's what first interested me in Egypt when I was a child. It's why I came here. Sort of a life's pursuit. Rick: And the fact that they say it's made out of pure gold makes no never mind to you? Evelyn: Right. - You know your history. Rick; I know my treasure. Evelyn: By the way, why did you kiss me? Rick; I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time. What? What'd I say? Benni: Surprise! My good friend, you're alive! I was so very, very worried. - Rick; Well, if it ain't my little buddy, Beni. I think I'll kll you. Benni: Think of my children. Rick: You don't have any children. Benni: Someday I might. Rick; Shut up! So, you're the one who's leading the Americans? I might have known. So, what's the scam, Beni? You task them into the middle of the desert, and then you leave them to rot? Benni: Unfortunately, no. These Americans are smart. They pay me only half now, half when I get them back to Cairo. So this time I must go all the way. - Rick: Them's the breaks, huh? Benni:You never believed in Hamunaptra, O'Connell. Why are you going back? Rick: You see that girl? She saved my neck. Beni; You always did have more balls than brains. Rick: Yeah. Goodbye, Beni. O'Connell! Evelyn: George Bembridge... In 1860... 1865, was... Was... Oh, for heaven's sake, girl, it wasn't that good of a kiss, anyway. ; Where is the map? Evelyn: It's... It's... There. And the key? Where is the key? Evelyn: The key? The key? What key? Rick; Evelyn! Evelyn; The map! The map! I forgot the map! Rick: Relax. I'm the map? It's all up here? Evelyn: Oh, that's comforting. The key! Jonathan; Evy. Rick: Hold on to this. Can you swim? Evelyn: Of course I can swim, if the occasion calls for it. Rick; Trust me. It calls for it. Warden: O'Connell! O'Connell! What are we going to do? Rick: Wait here! I'll go get help! Warden: Right! Americans. Jonathan; I say, bloody good show, chaps! And did I panic? I think not. Mr daniels: Get them out of the water! Get them out of the water! Come on, doggies! Give them a smack, would you? This is a messed-up country. Evelyn: We've lost everything! All of our tools, all the equipment! All my clothes! Beni: O'Connell! Hey! O'Connell! It looks to me like I've got all the horses! Rick; Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river! Beni; Yeah? Jonathan; I only want four! Four! I only want four, not a whole bloody herd! O'Connell! Can you believe the cheek? Rick; Just pay the man. Jonathan: Oh, for heaven's sake. Can't believe the price of these fleabags? Yes, happy? Very good. Rick: You probably could've got them for free. All we had to do was give him your sister. - Jonathan: Yes. Awfully tempting, wasn't it? Rick: Awfully. Jonathan: Never did like camels. Filthy buggers. They smell, they bite, they spit. Disgusting. - Evelyn: I think they're adorable. Warden; Oh, baby. Ardeth bay: This one is strong. Evelyn: Good morning, my friend. Mr daniels: What the hell we doing? Beni: Patience, my good barat'm. Patience. Mr henderson: Remember our bet, O'Connell? First one to the city, 500 cash bucks. A hundred of them bucks is yours if you help us win that bet. Beni: Oh, my pleasure. Hey, O'Connell. Nice camel. Rick; Get ready for it. Evelyn: For what? - Rick: We're about to be shown the way. Will you look at that? Can you believe it? Hamunaptra. Rick: Here we go again. So long, Beni! Evelyn; That serves you right. Jonathan: Go, Evy! Go! Mr Henderson: Do they know something we don't? Allan: They are led by a woman. What does a woman know? Evelyn; That's a statue of Anubis. It's legs go deep underground. According to Bembridge scholars, that's where we'll find a secret compartment containing the Golden Book of Amun-Ra. Jonathan, you're meant to catch the sun with that. Rick: So, what are these old mirrors for? - Evelyn: Ancient mirrors. It's an ancient Egyptian trick. You'll see. Rick; Here, this for you. Go ahead. It's something I borrowed off our American brethren. I thought you might like it, you might need it for when you're... Yeah? What are you looking at? Warden: Hey, look for bugs. I hate bugs. Evelyn; Do you realize we're standing inside a room no one has entered in over 3,000 years? Jonathan: What is that God-awful stench? Evelyn: And then there was light? Rick: Hey, that is a neat trick. Evelyn: Oh, my God. It's a sah-netjer. - Rick; What? Evelyn: A preparation room. Rick: Preparation for what? Evelyn: For entering the afterlife. Jonathan: Mummies, my good son. This is where they made the mummies. What the... Warden: What was that? Sounds like bugs. He said bugs? - Warden: What do you mean, bugs? I hate bugs! Evelyn; The legs of Anubis. The secret compartment should be hidden somewhere inside here. Mr henderson: You scared the bejesus out of us, O'Connell. Rick: Likewise. Mr Burns: Hey, that's my tool Kit. Rick: No, I don't think so. Mr Burns; Okay? Perhaps I was mistaken. Have a nice day, gentlemen. We have a lot of work to be getting along with. Allan: Push off! This is our dig site? - Evelyn: We got here first. This here's our statue, friend. Rick: I don't see your name written on it, pal. Beni: Yes, well, there's only four of you and 15 of me. Your odds are not so great, O'Connell. Rick: I've had worse. Jonathan: Yeah, me, too. Evelyn: Oh, look, for goodness' sake, let's be nice, children. If we're going to play together, we must learn to share. There are other places to dig. According to these hieroglyphics, we're underneath the statue. We should come up right between his legs. Jonathan: When those damn Yanks go to sleep... No offense. Rick: None taken. Jonathan: We'll dig our way up and steal that book right out from under them? Evelyn: Are you sure we can find this secret compartment? Jonathan; Oh, yes, if those beastly Americans haven't beaten us to it. No offense. None taken. Where'd our smelly little friend get to? Warden: Hey. What have we here? Blue gold. This will fetch a mighty fine price. Henderson: Let's get us some treasure! Allan: Careful! SETI was no fool. I think perhaps we should let the diggers open it. Daniels; Oh, I think we should listen to the good doctor, Henderson. Burns: Yeah, sure. Let them open it. Rick: Let me get this straight. They ripped out your guts and stuffed them in jars? Evelyn; They'd take out your heart as well. You know how they took out your brains? Jonathan: I don't think we need to know this. Evelyn: They'd take a sharp, red-hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things asbout a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils. Rick: That's gotta hurt. - Evelyn; It's called mummification. You'll be dad when they do this. - Rick; For the record, if I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification. Jonathan; Likewise. Evelyn: Oh, my God. It's a... It's a sarcophagus. Buried at the base of Anubis. He must have been someone of great importance. Or he did something very naughty. Oh, Allah. Warden: One more. One more. Help me! Help me! Help me! Jonathan: Well, who is it? Evelyn:"He That Shall Not Be Named." Rick: This looks like some sort of a lock. Jonathan: Well, whoever's in here sure wasn't getting out. Rick: Yeah, no kidding. It'd take us a month to crack into this thing without a key. Evelyn; A key? A key! A key! That's what he was talking about! Rick; Who? Evelyn: The man on the barge, the one with the hook. He was looking for a key. Jonathan: Hey, that's mine. Evelyn: What do you suppose klled him? - Jonathan: Did you ever see him eat? Rick: Seems that our American friends had a little misfortune of their own today. Three of their diggers were melted. Evelyn:What? Jonathan: How? Rick: Salt acid. Pressurized salt acid. Some kind of ancient booby trap. Jonathan: Maybe this place really is cursed. Evelyn: Oh, for goodness' sake, you two! Rick: You don't believe in curses? Evelyn; No, I don't. I believe if I can see it and I can touch it, it's real. That's what I believe. Rick; I believe in being prepared. Jonathan: Let's see what our friend the warden believed in. Rick; What? Evelyn: My God, what is it? Jonathan: A broken bottle. Glenlivet, 12 years old! He may have been as stinky fellow, but he had good taste. Rick: Take this. Stay here. Evelyn: No, wait, wait! Wait for me. Jonathan: Wait! - Evy! Excuse me, but didn't the man just say stay here? Evy! Mr. Henderson! Wake up! O'Connell! Ardeth bay: Enough! We will shed no more blood, but you must leave? Leave this place or die. You have one day. Rick: Evelyn. Hey. Are you all right? Evelyn: Yes, I'm fine. Rick: You sure? Evelyn; Thank you. That proves it. Old SETI's fortune's got to be under this sand. Daniels: For them to protect it like this, you know there's treasure down there. Rick: No, these men are desert people. They value water, not gold. Burns: You know, maybe just at night, we could combine forces. Rick; Hey, tough stuff, try a right hook. Ball up your fist and put it... Put it up like that. And then mean it. ht it right here. Mean it! Okay. Okay, it's time for another drink. Evelyn: Unlike my brother, Sir, I know when to say no. Rick; And unlike your brother, miss, you, I just don't get. Evelyn: I know. You're wondering what is a place like me doing in a girl like this. Rick; Yeah, something like that. Evelyn: Egypt is in my blood. You see, my father was a very, very famous explorer. And he loved Egypt so much, he married my mother, who was an Egyptian and quite an adventurer herself? Rick: I get your father and I get your mother, and... I get him, but... What are you doing here? Evelyn: Look, I may not be an explorer or an adventurer or a treasure seeker or a gn, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am. Rick; And what is that? Evelyn; I... am a librarian. And I am going to kiss you, Mr. O'Connell. Rick: Call me Rick. Evelyn: Rick. Allan: There is a curse upon this chest. - Henderson: Curse, my ass. Who cares? - Allan: Have a care, Mr. Henderson. In these hallowed grounds, that which was set forth in ancient times is as strong today as it was then. - We understand. Burns: What's it say? Allan: "Death will come on swift wings" "to whomsoever opens this chest." Beni: We should not be here. This is not good. Allan: It says, "There is one, the undead," "who, if brought back to life, is bound by sacred law" "to consummate this curse." Daniels: Let's make sure we don't bring anyone back from the dad then. Allan: "He will kll all who open this chest" "and assimilate their organs and fluids," "and in so doing, he will regenerate" "and no longer be the undead," "but a plague upon this Earth." Daniels; Well, we didn't come all this way for nothing. That's right. Beni: It's the curse. It's the curse. It's the curse! Beware of the curse! Beware! Daniels: Stupid superstitious bastard. Evelyn; Oh, I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl. Rick; You dream about dad guys? Evelyn: Look, the sacred spells have been chiseled off. This man must have been condemned not only in this life, but in the next. Rick: Tough break. - Jonathan: Yeah, I'm all tears. Now, let's see who's inside, shall we? Oh, my God, I hate it when these things do that. Rick: Is he supposed to look like that? Evelyn; No, I've never seen a mummy look like this before. He's still... Still... Rick; Juicy. Juicy. Evelyn: Yes. He must be more than 3,000 years old, and, well, it looks as if he's still decomposing. Rick: Hey, look at that. What do you make of this? - Evelyn: My God, these marks were made with... Fingernails. This man was buried alive. And he left a message. "Death is only the beginning?" Allan: Oh, my God. It does exist. The Book of the dad. Daniels: A book? Who cares about a book? Where the hell's the treasure? Allan: This, gentlemen. This is treasure. Hell, I wouldn't trade you for a brass... Look at that. Allan: There's your treasure, gentlemen. Now, we're on to something. Evelyn: I believe you need a key to open that book. Henderson; Say, O'Connell, what do you think these babies'll fetch back home? Burns: We hear you boys found yourselves a nice, gooey mummy. Congratulations. Daniels: If you dry that fellow out, you might be able to sell him for firewood. Evelyn: Look what I found. Rick; You're in her seat. Now! Beni; Yup. Evelyn: Scarab skeletons, flesh-eaters. I found them inside our friend's coffin. They can stay alive for years feasting on the flesh of a corpse. Unfortunately for our friend, he was still alive when they started eating him. Rick; So somebody threw these in with our guy, and then they slowly ate him alive? Evelyn; Very slowly. Rick: He certainly wasn't as popular fellow when they planted him, was he? Evelyn; Well, he probably got a little too frisky with the pharaoh's daughter. Well, according to my readings, our friend suffered the Hom-Dai, the worst of all Ancient Egyptian curses, one reserved only for the most evil of blasphemers. In my research, I've never heard of this curse having actually been performed. Rick: That bad, huh? Evelyn: Yes, well, they... They never used it because they feared it so. It's written that if a victim of the Hom-Dai should ever arise, he would bring with him the 10 plagues of Egypt. Rick: That's called stealing, you know? Evelyn: According to you and my brother, it's called borrowing. Rick: I thought the Book of Amun-Ra was made out of gold? Evelyn; It is made out of gold. This isn't the Book of Amun-Ra. This is something else. I think this may be the Book of the dad. Rick: The Book of the dad? Are you sure you're meant to be playing around with this thing? Evelyn; It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book. Rick: That happens a lot around here. So, what's it say? "Amun Ra. Amun Dei." It speaks of the night and of the day. Allan: No! You must not read from the book! Run! Go, go! What have we done? Henderson: Where the hell did they come from? Daniels:I ain't waiting around to find out. Burns: My glasses. My glasses! Leave me! Leave me! Hey! Hey! Could you help me find my gl... Beni; Wait for me! Burns: Who's there? Who's there? Daniels? Evelyn: Oh, Jon! Scarabs! Jonathan: Run, Evy! Go, go, go! Rick; Run! Rick: Evelyn? Jonathan? Rick: Evelyn? Jonathan: Evy! Evelyn: Oh, Mr. Burns. Thank goodness. I was just starting to get scared. I've lost everyone. Burns; My eyes. My eyes... Evelyn: Please help me. Burns: My tongue. He took my tongue. Evelyn: Please don't leave me. The mummy ; Anck-Su-Namun. Rick; Damn it! It's a trap door. There's gotta be a switch or something around here someplace. Henderson: Run, you sons of bitches! Run! - Rick: Go. Go! Go! The mummy ; Come with me my Princess Anck-Su-namum. Rick: There you are! Will you quit playing hide-and-seek? Whoah! Jonathan: Come on. Let's get out of here. Evy! Rick; Move! Jonathan; Yeah, right. Rick: Did you see that? It was walking. It was walking! Ardeth bay: I told you to leave or die. You refused. Now, you may have klled us all, for you have unleashed a creasture we have feared for more than 3,000 years. Rick: Relax. I got him. - Ardeth Bay: No mortal wapon can kll this creature. He's not of this world. Daniels: You bastard. - Henderson: What did you do to him? Ardeth bay; We saved him. Saved him before the creature could finish his work. Leave, all of you, quickly, before he finishes you all. I must now go on the hunt, and try and find a way to kll him. Rick:I already told you, I got him. Ardeth bay: Know this, this creature is the bringer of death. He will never eat, he will never sleep, and he will never stop. Beni: May the good Lord protect and watch over me as a Shepherd watches over his flock. No. Okay. The mummy: The language of the slaves... I may have use for you. And the rewards... will be great. Beni: My Prince. The mummy: Where are the other sacred jars... FORT BRYDON - CAIRO Rick: I thought you said you didn't believe in that fairy tales and hokum stuff. Evelyn; Having an encounter with a 3,000-year-old walking, talking corpse does tend to convert one. Rick: Forget it. We're out the door, down the hall, and we're gone. Oh, no, we are not. Rick:Oh, yes, we are. Oh, no, we are not. We woke him up, and we are going to stop him. Rick: We? What we? We didn't read that book. I told you not to play around with that thing. Didn't I tell you? Evelyn: Yes, right then, me, me, me, me. I, I, I woke him up and I intend to stop him. Yeah? How? You heard the man. No mortal wapon can kll this guy. Evelyn: Then we are just going to have to find some immortal ones. There goes that we again. Evelyn: Look, will you listen to me? We have to do something. Once this creature has been reborn, his curse is going to spread until the whole of the Earth is destroyed. Rick: Yeah? Is that my problem? Evelyn: It is everybody's problem. Rick; Evelyn, I appreciate you saving my life and all, but when I signed on, I agreed to take you out there and to bring you back. I have done that? End of job. End of story. Contract terminated. Evelyn: That's all I am to you? A contract? You can either tag along with me or you can stay here and try and save the world. What's it gonna be? Evelyn: I'm staying. Rick: Fine. Evelyn: Fine. Fine. Captain Winston; : I'm the last of the Royal Air Corps still stationed out here, you know... Some bloody idiot spilt his drink. All the other laddies died in the sky and were buried in the sand. Good chaps, every one of them, too. Rick: Hi, Winston. Yeah... Captain: You know, O'Connell, ever since the end of the great wr, there hasn't been a single challenge worthy of a man like me. Yeah? We all got our little problems today, Winston. I just wish I could have chucked it in with the others and gone down in flame and Glory, instead of sitting around here, rotting of boredom and booze. Of boredom and booze. Cheers. Oh, well, back to the airfield. Rick; Tell me, has your sister always been... Jonathan: - Oh, yes, always. Henderson: We're all packed up, but the damn boat doesn't leave till tomorrow morning. Jonathan: Tail set firmly between your legs, I see. Henderson: You can talk. You don't have some sacred walking corpse after you. Rick: So, how's your friend? Daniels: He had his eyes and his tongue ripped out. How would you be? Burns: I'm so pleased to meet you. Beni: Prince Imhotep does not like to be touched. A silly Eastern superstition, I'm afraid. Burns: Please forgive me. Mr. Burns, Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hospitality. Burns: No. And for your eyes, and for your tongue. Burns; Wha... But I am afraid more is needed. - Burns: Wha... Beni: The Prince must finish the job and consummate the curse, which you and your friends... No! ...have brought down upon yourselves. - Burns: No! Wait! No! Good luck, boys. Henderson; Sweet Jesus! Tasted just like... Rick: Blood. Jonathan: "And the rivers and waters of Egypt ran red and were as blood." Rick; He's here. Oh, looks like it's gonna storm. Oh, Evelyn! - Evelyn: Oh, so you're still here. Rick: We've got problems. Hey! Beni, you little stinkweed. Where you been? Rick: We are in serious trouble. The mummy; You saved me from the undead. I thank you. We are in very serious trouble. He does seem to like you Evy. Yeah, what's that about? What's this guy want? There's only one person that can give us any answers. You! Terrence: Miss Carnahan. Gentlemen. - Evelyn: What is he doing here? Terrence: Do you really want to know, or would you prefer to just sh*t us? After what I just saw, I'm willing to go on a little faith here. Terrence: We are part of an ancient secret society. For over 3,000 yeasrs, we have guarded the City of the dad. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our part to stop the High Priest Imhotep from being reborn into this world. Ardeth bay; Because of you, we have failed. Evelyn: You think this justifies the klling of innocent people. Terrence: To stop this creature? Let me think. Yes! Yes! Rick: Question. Why doesn't he like cats? Terrence: Cats are the guardians of the underworld. He will fear them until he is fully regenerated? Then he will fear nothing. Henderson: You know how he gets his self fully regenerated? Daniels: By klling everyone who opened that chest. - And sucking them dry! Evelyn: Jonathan, will you stop playing with that. When I saw him alive at Hamunaptra, he called me Anck-Su-Namun. And then juat now in Mr. Burns' quarters, he tried to kiss me. Terrence: It's because of his love for Anck-Su-Namun that he was cursed. Apparently, even after 3,000 years... Ardeth bay: He is still in love with her. Evelyn; Yes, that is very romantic, but what has it got to do with me? Ardeth bay: Perhaps he will once again try to raise her from the dad. Terrence; Yes. And it appears he has already chosen his human sacrifice. Jonathan; Bad luck, old mum. Terrence: On the contrary, it may just give us the time we need to kll the creature. Ardeth bay; We will need all the help we can get. His powers are growing. Jonathan; "And he stretched forth his hand towards the heavens" "and there was darkness throughout the land of Egypt." Evelyn: We must stop him from regenerating. Who opened that chest? Henderson: There was me and Daniels here. And Burns, of course. - And that Egyptologist fellow. Rick: What about my buddy, Beni? No, he scrammed out of there before we opened the thing. Yeah, he was the smart one. Rick: Yeah, that sounds like Beni. Evelyn: We must find the Egyptologist and bring him back to the safety of the fort before the creature can get to him. - Right. Rick: She stays here. You three, come with me. Daniels: Not me... No, no! Evelyn: Just a minute! You can't leave me behind like some old carpetbag. Who put you in charge, O'Connell? What do you think you are doing? Evelyn: Jonathan! O'Connell! Sorry, but he's a bit tall. Jonathan, coward that you are... Evelyn: O'Connell, you are not leaving me in here! Jonathan, if you don't open this door in one minute flat... O'Connell... - Rick: This door doesn't open. Let me out of here. She doesn't come out, and no one goes in, right? Right. Jonathan: Right? Rick: Right. O'Connell! Jonathan! Rick: Let's go, Jonathan? Jonathan: Oh, I thought I could just astay at the fort and reconnoiter. Rick: Now! Jonathan: Yeah, right. We're just gonna rescue the Egyptologist. Rick: Well, well, well. Let me guess. Spring cleaning? Jonathan; Nice sht. Rick: Oh, Beni, did you fall down? Let me help you up. You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't you, Beni? Beni: What friend? You are my only friend. Rick: What the hell are you doing with this creep? What's in it for you? Beni: It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path. As long as I serve him, I am immune. Rick; Immune from what? What did you say? Beni: I don't wanna tell you. You'll just hurt me some more. Rick: What are you looking for? And try not to lie to me. Beni: The book! The black book they found at Hamunaptra. He wants it back. He said to me it would be worth it's weight in gold. Jonathan: What does he want the book for? - Beni: I don't know. Something about bringing his dad girlfriend back to life. But that's all. He just wants the book, I swear. Just the book, I swear. And your sister. But other than that... Rick; That's two down, two to go. Jonathan; Then he'll be coming after Evy. Guards in place! Reporting all clear, Sir! Daniels: To hell with this? I'm going downstairs, get me a drink. You want something? Henderson: Yeah. Yeah, get me a glass of bourbon. - Daniels; All right. Henderson: And a sht of bourbon. Daniels: Yeah, okay, okay. Henderson: And a bourbon chasser. Daniels: I'll get your damn bourbon! Henderson: Don't worry about the door. Imhotep: Anck-Su-Namun. Rick: Hey, get your ugly face off of her! Look what I got. You all right? Evelyn: Well, I'm not sure. Jonathan; Well, according to legend, the black book the Americans found at Hamunaptra is supposed to bring people back from the dad. Until now, it was a notion I was unwilling to believe. Jonathan: Believe it, sister. That's what brought our buddy back to life? Yes. I'm thinking that if the black book can bring dad people to life... Rick; Then maybe the gold book can kll him. - Evelyn: That's the myth. Now, we just have to find out where the gold book is hidden. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Jonathan: Last but not least, my favorite plague, boils and sores. Ardeth bay: They have become his slaves. So it has gn, the beginning of the end. Evelyn: Not quite yet, it hasn't. Come on. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Evelyn: According to Bembridge scholars, the Golden Book of Amun-Ra is located inside the statue of Anubis. Daniels: That's where we found the black book. - Evelyn: Exactly. Jonathan; Looks like the old boys at Bembridge were mistaken. Evelyn: They mixed the books up. Mixed up where they were buried. So, if the black book is inside the statue of Anubis, then the Golden book must be inside... Jonathan; Come on, Evy, faster. Evelyn: Patience is a virtue. Rick: Not right now, it isn't. Daniels: I think I'll go and get the car started. - Evelyn: I've got it. The Golden Book of Amun-Ra is at Hamunaptra inside the statue of Horus. Take that, Bembridge scholars. Jonathan; Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Daniels: Let's go, let's go, let's go! Get this thing in gear, boy. Let's get out of here. Jonathan: . Come on, Evy. Hurry up. Imhotep! Imhotep! Rick: You're gonna get yours, Beni! You hear me? You're gonna get yours! - Beni: Oh, like I've never heard that before! Rick: Hang on! Daniels: Hey! O'Connell! O'Connell! Jump down! Move, move, move! Citizens: Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep. Terrence: It's the creature. He's fully regenerated. Beni: ( translating) Come with me, my Princess. It is time to make you mine forever. Evelyn : For all eternity, idiot. Beni: Take my hand, and I will spare your friends. Evelyn: Oh, dear. Have you got any bright ideas? Rick; I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because if he turns me into a mummy, you're the first one I'm coming after. Rick: No. Evelyn; Don't. Rick: No! Evelyn: He has to take me to Hamunaptra to perform the ritual. Ardeth bay : She is right. Live today, fight tomorrow. Rick: I'll be seeing you again. Evelyn! Jonathan: Hey, that's mine. Beni; Thank you. Imhotep; kll them all! Evelyn: No! Let go of me! Imhotep. Let go of me! Beni: Goodbye, my friend. Rick: Come here, you little... Imhotep. Imhotep. Come on! Jonathan: What about my sister? We're gonna get her back! Rick; Go! You're next! Come on! Give me your hand! Terrence: You go! Rick; Come on! Terrence: Go! Rick: Morning, Winston. A word? Captain Winston : What's your little problem got to do with His Majesty's Royal Air Corps? Rick: Not a damn thing. Captain Winston : Is it dangerous? - Rick: You probably won't live through it. Captain Winston: By Jove, do you really think so? Rick: Everybody else we've bumped into has died. Why not you? Captain Winston: What's the... What's the challenge, then? Rick: Rescue the damsel in distress, kll the bad guy, and save the world. Winston Havlock at your service, Sir. Rick: Are you all right? Jonathan: Do I bloody look all right? Rick: How you doing? Winston: See that? I've never seen one so big. Rick: Never? Winston: No! Evelyn: Get off me! Get off! Beni: I need a new job. Evelyn: Oh, my God. We're back. O'Connell. Rick: Oh, my God. Hey, Winston! Pedal faster! Captain Winston; Hang on, men! Evelyn: Stop it! You'll kll them! Beni: That's the idea. Winston: Here I come, laddies! Beni; I love the whole sand-wall trick. It was beautiful. Bastard. Jonathan: Excuse me. A little help would be useful, if it's not too much trouble! Rick: Yeah, yeah. All right. Winston! Hey, Winston! Jonathan; Quicksand! Get back! It's quicksand? Beni; Keep moving! Evelyn; Nasty little vermin such as yourself always get their comeuppance. Beni: Really? They do? Evelyn: Oh, yes. Always? Jonathan: I'd take those bigger stones first. Take them from the top, otherwise the whole thing will cave in on us. Come on. Put your backs into it. Yes, well, you've got the idea. Chop, chop. I say! Gents, you should come and have a look at this. Rick; What? It's my arm! My arm! Do something! Rick: Hold it! Jonathan: Do something! Do something! Not that! Not that! Evelyn: O'Connell. Bembridge scholars never wrote about this. Get off me. Get off! Imhotep; kll them... and wake the others. Jonathan: Wha... Wha... Can you see... Rick;,Yeah. Jonathan; Can you believe... Rick: Yeah. Jonathan: Can we just... Rick: No. Who the hell are these guys? Ardeth bay: Priests. Imhotep's priests. Rick: All right, then. Jonathan: There he is! Hello, Horus, old boy. Rick: Time to close the door. Imhotep: Anck-Su-Namun. Evelyn; O'Connell! Jonathan! Rick: Damn. These guys just don't quit, do they? Ardeth bay: Keep digging. Jonathan; The Book of Amun-Ra. Ardeth bay; Save the girl. kll the creature. What are you waiting for? Get out! Get out! Rick: You all right. Let's go. Imhotep: With your death, Anck-Su-namun shall live. And I shall be invincible! Jonathan: The Book of Amun-Ra! I found it, Evy! I found it! Imhotep; The Book of Amun-Ra. Evelyn: Shut up and get me off here, Jonathan! Open the book, Jonathan. It's the only way to kll him. You have to open the book and find the inscription. Jonathan; Well, I can't open it! It's locked or something. We need the key, Evy! Evelyn: It's inside his robes. O'Connell! Rick: Mummies. Evelyn: Look out! There's one there... O'Connell! Jonathan; Here's an inscription. Oh, boy. Rick; Oh, yeah. This just keeps getting better and better. Evelyn: Do something, Jonathan. Jonathan; Me? Evelyn: You can command them. - Jonathan: You have got to be joking. Evelyn; Finish the inscription on the cover, idiot, then you can control them. Jonathan: Oh. Right. Evelyn: Hurry up, Jonathan! Jonathan: I can't figure out this last symbol. - Evelyn: What does it look like? Jonathan: It's a bird. A stork! Evelyn: Ahmenophus. Jonathan: Oh, yes, I see. Imhotep; Destroy him! I command you to destroy him! Imhotep: Anck-Su-Namun! Give me that book! Anck-Su-Namun! Now you die. Jonathan: Evy, I've got it. Keep him busy. Rick: No problem. Jonathan: Hurry, Evy! Hurry! Evelyn; You're not helping. Imhotep: Now it's your turn. Evelyn: Oh! I've got it? Rick: I thought you said it was gonna kll him! Evelyn: He's mortal. Death is only the beginning. Rick: Time to go. Evelyn: You've lost the book! Jonathan, I can't believe... Rick: Hurry! Jonathan: Come on! Couldn't we just... Evelyn: No, Jonathan! Beni: O'Connell! O'Connell! Wait! Come on, come on! Wait! Please! - Rick: Come on, come on! Beni! Goodbye, Beni. Beni; Go away. Look out, look out! Jonathan: Thank you. Thank you very much? Ardeth Bay: You have earned the respect and gratitude of me and my people? Jonathan; Yes, well, it was nothing? Ardeth Bay; May Allah smile upon you always. Jonathan: And yourself. Yes, anytime. - Rick; Stay out of trouble. Jonathan; He's just leaving us here? Well, I guess we go home empty-handed again. Rick: I wouldn't say that. Jonathan: Oh, please! How about you, darling? Would you like a little kissy-wissy?	{"type": "movie", "show": "Mummy, The (1999)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
(GRUNTS) I am sorry. - Oh, it's okay. - I am sorry, baby. - I am sorry. - fcking shoulder. Keep going. That's helping. Never. Just a little bit. Just to clean it up. I am not cutting it. But you'd look so hot with short hair. - Oh, would I? - Yeah. - Thank you. (CHUCKLES) No, no, no... - Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. You are hot. You are the hottest. - Keep going. - You and your gorgeous, thick, long hair. Continue. I just fcking love the way it's long. Yeah? Happy Father's Day, Daddy! Kids, we said after breakfast. I want cake for breakfast. Wow! Chocolate with sprinkles! My favorite. Happy Father's Day! - Open it! Open it! Open it! Open it! - Open it! Open it! I am, I am. I like building up the anticipation. - Oh, you guys... You like it? - I love it. Muah! I love it. - Thank you. Mom helped us. - No, I didn't. It was all their idea. - Right, kids? - BOTH: Right. - Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! - Okay, okay. Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Oh, look at that beautiful looking cake! - (SCREAMS) - Ah... Who did this to monster! - (GRUNTING) - (SHRIEKING) (CHUCKLES) Oh, you can't hide from monster! Monster can smell you! JAKE: Run! Run! Monster's coming! - (GROWLING) - (LISA SQUEALING) Argh! Monster made kids disappear. And... Monster want to finish what we started. Too late, the kids are awake. Monster sad. I am sure monster can wait till Monday. Monster been waiting three weeks. Yeah, but with the kids and my exhibition I cannot keep everybody happy all the time. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Monster doesn't want to start a fight. Okay. Sorry, me neither. I promise we will finish this as soon as I get back. Oh, monster happy. Monster happy. (GIGGLING) Monster very happy. - (GROWLING) - (CHILDREN LAUGHING) (SPEAKING SPANISH) Yeah, Mommy. - Gracias. De nada. - Everybody packed? Yeah. Monkey, good boy. Dad, why can't we take Monkey to the beach with us? Yeah, you know he loves the beach. Monkey needs to stay here and keep your dad company so he doesn't stay all alone during the weekend. Come on. That's unfair. Knock-knock. KIDS: Hey, Louis! Hey, guys, hot off the presses. (SPEAKING SPANISH) - What's going on, Louis? What's shaking? - What's going on, little guys? Mr. Webber, how are you, sir? Morning, Louis. I'd offer you a hand, but all I can lift is this coffee. Oh, that's what happens when you try to impress girls in the bat cage. I wasn't flirting, I was being a gentleman. Yeah, I am sure she was a poor helpless 25-year-old. Yeah, helpless. (KAREN CHUCKLES) Do you know what this is? Is it a Father's Day present for Daddy? No, this is Mommy's catalog. Assuming they got the color right this time. Oh, let's hope. LISA: I think they did. (SPEAKING SPANISH) It's a little bit magenta, but it's almost perfect. What's magenta? This color. Honey, it's perfect. Mom, can Louis come to the beach with us? Yeah. No, Louis needs to stay here and do some work. Just like your daddy. That's correct. I have to come back with all the alcohol for the super-secret Father's Day party that me and your dad are going to have tonight. - Louis! Shh! Oh, come on. - You're not having a party. I am not having a party, I am working very hard. Did you pack your gn? - BOTH: Yes. - Did you pack the bmb? - Yes. - Have you packed the cannon? - JAKE: Yes. - Have you packed the chainsaw? You didn't pack the chainsaw? Go get the chainsaw, man! The cement still hasn't dried, but it should be fine by tomorrow night. Okay. Still, it's extremely fragile and I don't trust those movers after the mess they made at the gallery. Mmm-mmm. No, I will take care of it. Don't worry. Okay. Gracias, I will have it all packed up for you. Okay. It's almost dry though. Yeah, so I will just text you when it's at the gallery. Don't worry about anything. I got it all under control. You have a good weekend at the beach. Enjoy yourself. I am out. Gracias, Louis. - Mr. Webber, I will see you tomorrow. - Thank you. I mean, "tonight" for the super-secret party. - Louis... - See you, kids. - Bye, Louis. - Super-secret party? - Super-secret party. - Okay. Is this the last one? - You like it? - I love it. - Good. - I think it should be bigger. - (CHUCKLES) You think so? - Yeah, then we can get the pool. Okay, I will do it bigger next time. I told Vivian tomorrow at 2:00. I don't need her therapy anymore, it's healing. Tell that to your shoulder. Dad, are you sure you can't come to the beach with us? I would love nothing more, sport. But if Daddy doesn't work this weekend, we will have to live in a box. Do you guys want to live in a box? - No. No. Not really. - Me neither. Unless I designed it. Okay, say goodbye to Daddy. Bye, Daddy. Say goodbye to Monkey. BOTH: Bye, Monkey. Daddy, don't forget to send all your party pix on Instagram. Okay. Call me when you get there. I will. I love you. I love you. I love you. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye, Daddy. JAKE: Get a haircut, Dad! Well, Monkey... Looks like it's just me and you, kid. (THUNDER RUMBLING) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (PHONE RINGING) (MUSIC STOPS) Hey, baby. How's the house? Hi! It's perfect. Look. Kids, say hello to your dad. - BOTH: Hi! - Hello. All it needs is you. - I love you. - I love you, too. Miss you. Good night. (TURNS MUSIC ON) (KNOCKING AT DOOR) (MUSIC STOPS) (KNOCKING AT DOOR) (BARKS) (KNOCKING CONTINUES) Who's there? GIRL: Just one second, sir, please. - Hello? - Could I use your phone, please? Yes? We're so sorry to bother you, sir, but could you please tell us where the Gregorys live? This is the third house we have tried. Looks like everyone's gone for the long weekend. The Gregorys? No, I don't know anyone around here by that name. What's the address? Um... I don't.... I honestly don't know. My phone got wet and she left hers at her house. The taxi just dropped us here. We have been walking around for, like, 20 minutes. Yeah, my feet are, like, dying. Well, I am sorry. I am afraid I can't help you. Bless you. (GIGGLES) Here. Thank you. Well, if you guys want you can come in and use my phone. Oh, thanks, but... All our contacts are on our phones. I... I don't even know my own number, can you believe it? Maybe Ashley's on Facebook chat? Ah, genius. Actually, would you mind if we just used your computer for a sec? We don't want to impose. We will just get the address and be out of your hair. Yeah. Sure. Come in. Thank you. (THUNDER RUMBLING) (GIRLS GIGGLING) No, it's fine. Don't worry. Oh, I don't mind. We don't want to mess up your house. Yeah. Excuse me. Um, thank you so, so much. I know this is so random. It's fine. Hang on, I will get you an iPad and some towels. Thanks. GIRL: Nice house. Thanks. Girls? BOTH: We're in here. I am so sorry, it was warmer here. Hope you don't mind. We were freezing. Here. Oh, my God. Thank you. This is beyond embarrassing. Don't worry about it. Make yourselves at home. I am Bel, by the way. - Evan. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. Ashley's online. Cool. You're a life saver, Evan. Not everyone would just let two total strangers into their house these days. Well, you don't look that dangerous. Worst case scenario, I know I can take the both of you. I am not so sure. I do air boxing. - Air boxing? Yeah, like, you know? - Oh, okay. Oh, my God, I am sorry. - Excuse me, sir. - Yes. - What's the address? - His name's Evan. Evan? 458 Canter. Wow. We're like, far. It was Kantner, not Canter. The cab must have misunderstood us. I told you that he was going the wrong way. That guy barely spoke English. I mean, his English was worse than mine. This is so retrd. Don't worry about it. I will call an Uber. No. No, no, no. We can find a cab outside. It's no problem. Not around here, you won't. Trust me, it's the only reliable way. You sure? I feel like such an idiot. We don't want to ruin your night. No really. It's fine. It's looking for a driver. And it will be here in.... ...45 minutes. That long? The rain. We're lucky we even got one. (WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY) What? (GIGGLING) Um, I know this is going to sound weird, but could we maybe throw our clothes in your dryer just for, like, 10 minutes? We really don't want to go to a party soaking wet. BEL: No. Please? Sure, sure. Um.... We have some extra robes. I will, uh, go get them. - Thank you. Yay. - This is literally saving our lives. Yeah, we could get sick and die. (BOTH GIGGLING) You have your phone? Uh yeah, why? I can try and fix it. - Really? - Oh. My kid dropped mine in the tub, and you won't believe this, but if you put it in rice it kind of dries it out. - That would be awesome. Rice? - Oh, my God, you're like a MythBuster. Thank you so much, Evan. You're welcome... - Genesis. Genesis. - Yeah, like the beginning of time. In the beginning. (CHUCKLES) Sorry. Yup, that was... You're sick of that. GENESIS: Thanks. I will, uh... I will go get you some. (KETTLE WHISTLING) Hey, Evan? Where should we put these? Oh, I will take them. No, we can do it. We don't mind. I got it. I made you some tea. - Thank you. Thank you, that's nice. - So sweet. I will trade you. Uh, okay. Gracias. Excuse me. (DRYER SPINNING) (GIRLS GIGGLING IN DISTANCE) BEL: Oh, my God. (MONKEY BARKING) BEL: Oh, sorry. We were trying to warm up. Yeah, I mean, we have never seen one of these before. A real one. It's okay. Just be careful. It's old. I see you have met Monkey. Yeah, this is Monkey. It's time for Monkey to go to bed. Bye, Monkey. Night-night, Monkey. - Night-night. - Sweet dreams. Bye, Monkey. All right, Monkey. Go home, Monkey. You have so many records. Sorry. We had to try one. Stop apologizing, it's okay. I love this album. You have good taste. This is like.... ...an insane collection. Yeah. It must be worth a fortune. Well, everything's online now, so... But, uh, I love the sound of vinyl. You're really into music. Well, it used to be my job. What? Like a record salesman? - (GIGGLING) - I was a DJ. Oh, my God. That's so cool! You're like Major Lazer! It was in my 20s. It's really a hobby now, I haven't had a real gig in years. Wait, how old are you? - I am 43. No fcking way. - I can't believe you're 43. I thought you were, like, 28 or 30 at the most. Well, I got married when I was 30. Where's your wife? She's at the beach with my kids. We were going to spend Father's Day there, but, uh, work happened. Oh, my God, you are all alone on Father's Day. Poor Evan, we will keep you company! BOTH: Hugs! No, it's fine. We celebrated this morning. Whoa, you're not 43. You must work out, like, every day. Yeah, I keep in shape. Not like when I was in my 20s, but, uh... Come on, any guy that ripped is more into his own ass than yours. Yeah, I mean, like, seriously, is that all you do? Oh, my God, I remember I fcked this model once, and while we were having sex I caught him doing crunches in the mirror. - (CHUCKLES) - It was the gayest thing ever. I'd take somebody that's older and more experienced over an Abercrombie model any day. GENESIS: Yeah. (THUNDER RUMBLING) Well, hopefully one day you will find both. I don't know. Underwear models are the kind of guys you fck when you're 14. That's a statement. This is your wife? Yup. BEL: I want to see it. Wow! She's so pretty. She's beautiful. You're a lucky guy. Yeah, I certainly am. I am just an architect, but, uh, she's the real deal. Most of what you see is hers. She made all these? Yeah. GENESIS: Wow. They're so pretty. I love these colors. Red's my favorite. This is amazing. I actually studied art history. I am no expert, I was only there for a semester, but.... ....this... This is like a Gaudi building, but small. Yeah, my wife loves Gaudi. She was, uh, she was born in Barcelona. BEL: Like me? (SPEAKING SPANISH) English, English. You guys sound too sexy. That's about the extent of my Spanish anyway. My kids speak it perfectly. Your wife's an amazing artist. Why are these sculptures here? They should be in like, MOMA. EVAN: Actually, um..... It's not exactly MOMA, but.... ...she's having a big gallery show in LA. Karen Alvarado. That's such a pretty name. An architect and an artist. You guys are like the perfect couple. And she's so hot. You must have sex, like, all day. Bel! What? I would. That's Belly for you. She sees a hot girl and chases after her. Well, it's okay. I have no complaints. Sorry, I was just being honest. No, no. It's fine. Um, but, uh..... I must say I am not used to girls just being so open about that. About what? Sex? No, I mean... Yes. Yeah. Yes. It's just sex. Right. Now you seem old. - Sorry. - So sorry. Twenty minutes away. How long have you and your wife been together? I was 29 and she was 20. EVAN: It's been awhile. So you haven't been with anyone else in all those years? Fourteen years, nope. Wow. How is that even possible? Well, when you love someone... GENESIS: Come on, Evan. Humans are the only species that practice monogamy. I mean, we're animals. We're more animals than animals. It's in our DNA. Like, being with one person your whole life, is going against your own nature. BEL: Look. It's like this. I understand men. I know whenever I get married, my husband is going to want to be with other girls. So, I want to get comfortable with having threesomes now, because I know that's the only way he will never cheat on me. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Wow. (EVAN LAUGHS) So, are you guys... What do you guys do? I mean, are you... Are you in school or something? I mean... Actually, we're flight attendants. Really? What would you like for your entree, sir? We have chicken... ...and pasta. (SPEAKING SPANISH) Please buckle your seatbelt, sir. We may be encountering some turbulence. (SPEAKING SPANISH) EVAN: So... Where you guys based out of? (SIGHS) Everywhere. Last weekend we were in New Zealand for 24 hours. It was awesome. Wow, how was that jet lag? We don't sleep. GENESIS: It's like being a fake rock star. You know, you fly around the world first class, drinks are on the house and they pay you for it. I am jealous. I once got offered a tour when I was a DJ. Not like you guys, but, uh, Tri-State area. Yeah, well, I think traveling is the best way to get life experience. Especially when you're only there for 24 hours. You really make the most of it. GENESIS: Yeah, we make the most of it. Unlike that fcking starfish we work with. Ugh. BEL: (SOFTLY) Ugh, starfish. Starfish? This girl we work with... She doesn't have to do anything in bed, she just lies there like a fcking starfish. Hence, starfish. I mean, who'd want to fck that? - (CHUCKLES) - BEL: I don't understand girls like that. When I am with a guy, I want him to have the time of his life. - No rules. None. - Nothing's off limit, sexually. Sex with boundaries isn't really sex. If our bodies are capable of doing it, then we were meant to. Right? (THUNDER CRACKING) Oh, Evan? Can I use your bathroom? Of course. It's, uh, down the hall on the right. Thanks. I don't know any of these. Well, I have pretty eclectic taste. You have Spanish music. Chilean, actually. My wife loves her, Fran Valenzuela. Can you put it on? EVAN: Sure. She's really talented. She started composing when she was 13. This is her third album. (MUSIC PLAYING) (SPEAKING SPANISH) Wow! How did you know that would mix? DJ'ing is like mixing a drink. First you find the right ingredients, then you find the blend. Evan, I have something to confess. Yes? I am glad we knocked on your door. I am having a way better time here then at that stupid party we were supposed to go to. Well, I have to confess, it's not usually this exciting around here at 1:30 in the morning. It's like destiny that we were meant to meet. BEL: Do you believe in destiny, Evan? I am an architect. So obviously I believe that things happen by your own design. Well, I do. I don't think people just meet randomly. I think that if we are here, together, it's because... ...there's something we have to learn from each other. Discover. (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) It's here. BEL: I will go get Genesis. EVAN: I will get your clothes. EVAN: What the fck! Guys! Guys, the car's outside. Guys, I have your clothes, they're pretty much dry. (GIGGLING) - Guys! - (GIGGLING) All right, I am coming in, I am not looking, so excuse me. - Surprise! - Surprise! What the fck are you doing? - Come on, Evan. Join us. - Yeah, join the party. - Come here. - The car's outside. GENESIS: The car can wait. Come on. I am going to tell the driver that you're coming out. Get dressed. Now. Please. Here's your clothes. Evan. Look at us. Come on... Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Stop. Stop. I can't do this. I am married. Happily. Okay? Yes. You can. Hey, it's our little secret. Whoa, stop. Stop. It's just sex. We're all adults here. I am flattered. But really, I can't. Please, get dressed. (GIGGLING) Yeah, you can. Come on, just one day. Just relax and enjoy it. You like this? Have you ever had two girls do this to you before? (MOANING) - Happy Father's Day! - Happy Father's Day! (MOANING) (PHONE VIBRATING) (EVAN MUMBLING) (GIRLS LAUGHING) (BOTH LAUGHING) ANNOUNCER ON TV: It's time for the Family Feud! Introducing the Levy family! Morning, Daddy. Evan! Evan! Watch this! (BOTH SHRIEKING) Belly! Belly! Catch! Catch! (ANNOUNCER ON TV CONTINUES) - Sorry, Belly. - (LAUGHING) EVAN: I thought you guys left. GENESIS: We made you breakky. EVAN: I am not hungry. Monkey, that's mine. And the star of Family Feud, Richard Dawson! You two live together? Yeah. Where? BEL: Why, Evan? EVAN: So I can drive you there. I haven't been home in like four years. This could be our home. I will drive you wherever you want. (BOTH LAUGHING) Did I say something funny? Mmm-hmm. I want to go to Paris, Evan. No, let's go to Tokyo. - London. - (LAUGHTER) Rome. (GIGGLING) (CELL PHONE RINGING) (CELL PHONE RINGING) (SPEAKING SPANISH) Don't let your breakky get cold. (PHONE RINGING) Hey, baby. KAREN: Hey, you're alive. EVAN: Yeah, ah, barely. I forgot how strong Vanessa's weed was. I just woke up. You are such a lightweight. - How are the kids? - Not so good. What happened? BOTH: Evan! Jake got stung by a jellyfish. He was crying. - Oh, no! - Yeah. Poor little guy. - He's okay now. - Where is he? He's back at the beach. It was a little bit hairy for a while, but now he's okay. What about you? How's your project? Great. Great. Great. Uh, I am in a really good groove now, so, home stretch. Okay, then don't let me interrupt you. Let's talk later. You seem a little distracted. No. That's not what I meant. It's just... I just want to finish so I don't have to think about it, you know? Maybe if I get done early, I can, I can drive out there. Baby, I get it. Don't stress. Do what you have to do. - I love you. Love you, too. - Don't smoke all our weed. - I won't. - I promise. EVAN: Bye. KAREN: Ciao. - Shit! Shit! - Shit! Are you hungry now? Get up! And get dressed! Right now! Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where Evan is? You know, that sweet guy that saved two girls from the rain? He's gone. Get the fck up. Let's go. I don't appreciate your tone of voice. Go! Come on, Belly. Looks like Evan lost his sense of humor. - Go! - (LAUGHING) Hello! Let's go! Where's Bel? I don't know, she's not my friend. Bel! Bel! Bel? (BLOWS PARTY HORN) - (LAUGHING) - What the fck are you doing? You tell us to get dressed. Come on. Playtime's over. Evan, can you hold me? Please, just once more. - Please, I miss your hugs. - Bel. Listen to me. You're leaving. Now. Get dressed. - I love you. - Bel... - I love you. - No! BEL: I love you so much. God damn it! fck! I love you. I can't help it. (MUMBLING) I am crazy about you. (PANTING) (SCREAMING) You have three minutes! I will be outside! Get dressed! Let's go! What in the fck are you doing! You have any idea what you have done? Yeah. It's called art. We were inspired from last night. Remember? I am calling the fcking police. - Go ahead. - (DIALING NUMBER) What the fck is so funny! I just have a funny story for them. It's called "To Catch a Predator." What the fck are you talking about? Fifteen to 20 years? I think it is 20. Fifteen gets you 20, right? - I don't believe it. - You don't have to. The jury will. Statutory rpe, Evan. Twenty years behind bars. And that's just for one of us. And I am not planning on taking a shower. BEL: I have evidence. Really? So how could you be a flight attendant if you're only 15? (BOTH LAUGHING) What the fck! What? We saw that in a movie, Evan. I told you he'd believe it. Do you want to check my ID? She doesn't have one, she's too young. Okay. What do you want? We want to make breakky for you every morning. Come on. Just tell me. How much do you want? Don't be mad, Evan. That's not you. - You're different from the others. - Yeah. EVAN: How much! What do you think we are, hookers? Jesus, Evan, we're not fcking whores! Yeah. You're the fcking whore! Whore! - (DOORBELL RINGING) - VIVIAN: Evan? It's Vivian! EVAN: Do not move! Evan! Evan, I am so sorry I am late, but that storm blew branches out all over town. It even knocked two traffic lights out. I swear, I swear I was sitting there for 15 minutes and I was trying to navigate, but there was repair trucks. It's fine. It's fine. Actually, I am feeling much better. Oh, then that's really good because then this will help. I will give you a relaxation massage, it will help circulate. Actually... Karen should have told you, I have a lot of work to do this weekend. I love Karen. I love her so much, how is she? She is so talented. I cannot wait to see her exhibition. In fact, you know what? Jim and I are going to drive up for the opening if I can get out of that conference I have in Sonoma with those massage therapists. You know how that can be. He doesn't want your massage. GENESIS: Do you, baby? Get back inside. Don't let me get cold. This is really upsetting, okay? I am here to heal, but this is really... This is upsetting! It's upsetting! It's not what you think. No, no. It's exactly what I think! But you know what? It's your life. - Vivian, please. - I... don't. It's your relationship, Evan. (MUSIC PLAYING) Look, I am a DJ like Evan! Why didn't you let your girlfriend in? Are you ashamed of us? Or are you fcking her, too? - Get out of my house! - Be careful, these two cute little girls can put you behind bars for the rest of your life! Get out of my house! What would your client say? Your neighbors? What would your wife say if we told her everything we did last night? Get out! (SPEAKING SPANISH) It's going to be such a shame to see your wife divorce you! And your business ruined over a single night of perversion! You want to go door-to-door telling your neighbors you're a child molester? What would the other parents do? Let their kids play here if you're a convicted pedophile? There's Evan! There's Evan! I didn't think you had it in you. (GROANING) (PANTING) 911, what's your emergency? I'd like to report a break-in. You're calling from 458... Can you give us a ride? Let's go. (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO) GENESIS: Well, this isn't awkward at all. Cool car, Evan. (GIRLS GIGGLING) This one on the right. Out. You're not going to get out and say bye? Go. Don't you want to come in and meet my mom? (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) - Oh! Bye! - Send our love to Karen and the kids! Bye! (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) (GLASS BREAKING) Hello? EVAN: Oh, my God! (GENESIS HUMMING) (CONTINUES HUMMING) (EVAN STRUGGLING) EVAN: Oh! What the hell are you doing? (STRUGGLING) Genesis, please, this is crazy, untie me! (COUGHING) What's the point of this? I am a good person. I made a mistake. We can forget this ever happened. - Please! - Please! Haven't you ever made a mistake? - (GENESIS HUMMING) - (EVAN GRUNTING) (GRUNTS) BEL: Daddy! Oh, Daddy! Look what I found. Oh, my God! You take that off. That's my daughter's. You take that off! You like how it fits me, Daddy? - Look. - Take those off, you fcking crazy bitch! Okay. You know, every girl's first love.... ....is their daddy, huh? You're sick. You like what you see? Huh? You like what you see? Daddy? (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) - Huh? - No. Bel. Untie me. Untie me, please. If you really love me.... ....untie me. Ignore that asshle. He's not an asshle. He's my Daddy. You don't listen to her, Daddy. She doesn't love you the way I do. I love you, Daddy. I have loved you ever since Mommy brought you home. Remember that night when we were all alone and you snuck into my room? And I pretended to be asleep. But when you took off my clothes, I couldn't pretend any longer. BEL: We did things you and Mommy never did. I hope you're not angry at me anymore, Daddy. I only did that to Mommy because I wanted you all to myself. Bel, Bel, untie me, please? Please. You can tuck me in like you always did. What's wrong, Daddy? Huh? Don't you want to fck your little girl again? Did you forget what you did to me all those years? Why did you do that to me? - Why did you do that to me! - Bel. Why? Stop! Bel! (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) - Stop! Bel! - (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) Bel, stop! Why did you do that to me! Why! Why did you do that to me! Stop! Stop! Bel! Stop, please! (SLAPPING) EVAN: Stop it! Stop it! (BEL CRYING) Shh. Untie me. What the fck is that? (CELL PHONE RINGING) - (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) - (CELL PHONE RINGING) You're not hiding something, are you, Evan? (CELL PHONE RINGING) What are you hiding here, huh? Come on, where is it, Daddy? It's Karen on FaceTime! - I have been dying to meet her. Answer it. - Let's get to know her. No! No! You're right, this could get awkward. What are you doing? Much better. Don't! Can a cock answer an iPhone? Yes, Belly, but it's got to be hard. Okay. No! Please! - It could be my kids! - Hi Evan, welcome back. So? Have they ever seen a cheating dick before? How about covered in her lipstick? Okay! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Please. EVAN: Bel, I will do whatever you want. BEL: Yes! Yes! Okay. Okay. Now, fck me, Daddy! fck me! Attaboy, Evan. fck her. fck her like it was last night. - (GROANING) - Yeah, fck her good! (MOANING) fck me, Daddy! fck me like you fck your little daughter! (GRUNTING AND MOANING) Doggy style, Belly! (BARKING) You want something to eat, Bel? No, I am okay. Okay. (BEL CRYING OUT) (BARKING) fck me, Daddy! fck me like you fck Mommy! (BEL GROANING) - (MOANING) - Yeah, Daddy's little girl! (MOANING AND GRUNTING) You're a good little girl! (GRUNTING) - fck me, Daddy! - Yeah! fck me like you fck Mommy! (GROANING) Ow.... (SQUEALING) (SHOUTING) (GROANING) Arghh! My scar! My scar! My scar! My surgery! You have been a very bad boy, Evan! Please, please, please take it out! Take it out! Oh, my God! Oh, my... ...God! Why did you ht me, Daddy? Now we have to punish you. (GRUNTS) (MUSIC PLAYING) Welcome to America's favorite game show, "Who Wants to be a Pedophile!" Where we give the audience what they want! The chance to punish a pedophile. But first, let's welcome our lovely, beautiful and charming, GENESIS: Ms. Bel..... (TV AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Hello, Ms. Bel. For tonight's contestant, we have a very special one, he's not only an architect but also a DJ, a husband, a father of two, possibly three. Four. All the way from one percent land, Mr. Evan Webber! (APPLAUSE) Ms. Bel, would you please get our contestant ready? Sure. You're both crazy fcking bitches! You look 21, you lied to me! Oh, like you lied to your wife? What I tell my wife is none of your gddmn... (MUSIC SCREECHING) (CRYING OUT) God! God! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! My ears! My ears! I will go deaf! I will go deaf! This is fcking serious! I could go deaf! The game hasn't started yet. Our first category... Schoolyards. How far away from school will Evan have to pick up his kids? 100 yards? 500 yards? Or two miles? EVAN: This is fcking sick! (VOLUME TURNED UP) Arghh! (GRUNTING) Wrong answer. Correct answer is you can't pick up your kids from prison. fck, fck, fck, fck, fck! Please! What's our next category, Ms. Bel? I love this one. BEL: Daddies. GENESIS: Evan, this should be easy for you. How many family men have survived this game? EVAN: None. GENESIS: What was that? None. Correct! (TV AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) - Next question. - Genesis. You have proved your point. (EVAN SCREAMING) - God! I can't hear! - I can't hear! EVAN: Please, stop! All you have to do is answer the question, Evan. EVAN: Okay. Okay. Well, ask it, for fck's sake! What's the proper punishment for a pedophile? Is it prison where you get rped every day and you never get to see your family again? GENESIS: Castration? Or death? Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Ten seconds. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. (DOORBELL RINGING) Well, looks like it's time for our first commercial break. We will be back after a message from our sponsors. Hello. It's me, Louis! LOUIS: Mr. Webber? (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) Who's Louis? (KNOCKING ON DOOR) fcking douche bag. Get that sheet, cover him up. (MUFFLED YELLING) (COUGHING) Shh! You must be Louis. Yes. I am Bernadette. I am Uncle Evan's niece. Oh, hi, nice to meet you. Obviously, you're with Uncle Evan. Sorry, we're sh*ting a music video. Well, you guys picked an awesome location. Come on in. - So where'd you come in from? Dallas. - Oh? I used to live in Austin. Oh, I have never been. Well, it's fun when you're in college. Yeah, I went to Parsons. Oh, great school. I went to SVA. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. - I am Louis. Hi. - I am... She's Macarena. - She's my friend from Spain. - Oh. (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) - He's here to pick up... - The art work outside. Yes. Excuse me. Somebody touch this? We didn't touch it. It's Aunt Karen's stuff, we wouldn't go near it. I did see Evan in here earlier, maybe he did. Okay, because it's not supposed to be like this. It's supposed to be bubble-wrapped and packed up and ready to go. - Why would Evan do this? - She said it wasn't us. LOUIS: Okay. Oh, fck. Oh, my God. What the fck did you all do? What the fck is this shit! (BREATHING HEAVILY) We didn't want to tell you, someone broke in and that's why Evan's out. - He was chasing them. - Yeah. Shut the fck up! Shut the fck up, both of you right now! Nobody fcking move! I am calling the cops right now. Please don't tell Karen. This could be our little secret. Bitch, you're barking up the wrong fcking tree. I am from Oakland, ho! I know two ghetto ass hos when I see them! Come to think of it, Evan doesn't even have any fcking nieces. (YELLING) Who the fck are you? You better hope the police get here before Karen does. (BANGING) - What the fck was that? - Nothing. - Hey, wait. Wait. - It's nothing. Get out of my way! - Shit. - (MUFFLED GRUNTS) (MUFFLED COUGHING) Shit! Mr. Webber! Are you okay? Oh, fck! They're crazy! Close the door. Close the door. Louis! Louis! Louis, no! I got to stop these crazy ass bitches. Louis, forget it! They're dangerous! (SCREAMING) LOUIS: No! No! Stop! Stop! Stop it! What are you doing! (GASPING) (GASPING FOR BREATH) (LAUGHING) Looking for this? EVAN: Louis! Be careful! They're crazy! BEL: Monkey in the middle! Monkey in the middle! GENESIS: We can't say that, Belly, it's rcist. BEL: Okay, man in the middle! Give it to him! No, Genesis, give him that! (GASPS AND THUDS) Louis! Louis! Genesis! Please, this isn't his fault! Please call an ambulance, help him! fck! Bel, please help him! Call an ambulance, I promise I won't say anything! Bel, Genesis! Call an ambulance, for fck's sake! I think it's a little late for an ambulance, Evan. He tripped, it's his fault. We were just playing monkey in the middle. I mean, man in the middle. Oh, my God! (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) You klled him! You klled him! Your wife klled him with her shitty sculpture. This shit's dangerous, Evan. How can you keep this here with kids? That's irresponsible parenting. Yeah maybe your wife should stick to painting. Get the fck away from me! Where do you think you're going, Evan? Get the fck off me! Leave me alone! Want to go for a little ride? You can't run away from us, Daddy. You can't escape. (GIGGLING) Ahhh! This is what happens when you break the rules of the game, Evan. This is just like art class. GENESIS: What I did to Karen's statue is nothing compared to what I am going to do to you if I ever see your fcking lying face again. I trusted you both, how could you fck my wife? Never come near my family again. Disappear or you're fcking dad. (BEEPS) (GROANS) Which way is MOMA? (CHUCKLING) It's more like "momma." Ronnie is going to have a field day with this one. Yeah, I am sure he will. GENESIS: That guy's a magician. Yeah. GENESIS: He can make anything disappear. Let's finish this. (CHAIR KNOCKING) Wow, those were some really long commercials. Thanks to our sponsor Louis for that little lovely break. Now! Back to our million dollar question. What is the proper punishment for a pedophile? Please. I love my children. I love my wife. I am a good father. How can you judge anyone? You're mrder. Is that your final answer? Because you're going to go deaf in about 10 seconds from now. Please, Genesis! I am a good father! Until yesterday. That doesn't change how much I love them! (COUGHS) Do you really love them, Evan? GENESIS: Really? More than anything in the world. So why didn't you think of them when you were inside us? Yeah, why, Evan? Last night had nothing to do with my family. Damn right it didn't, Evan! It had nothing to do with them. Your family are victims. Victims of your sleazy, disgusting, perverted behavior. GENESIS: Jake. Lisa. They don't deserve a father like you. This is what you did to your family. BEL: You pervert. (SPEAKING SPANISH) Genesis, please, this isn't the answer! (IMITATES BUZZER) Wrong answer. Correct answer is death. We will be back after this commercial break. Death? Death? You're going to kll me? You're going to fcking kll me! Why? Why! Because I fcked you? You fcked me! You fcked me! You came to my house! You came to me! I got you a car, I brought you your clothes, you took a fcking bubble bath! You wanted it! You wanted it! You came on to me! What was I supposed to do? You sucked my cock, you both fcking sucked my cock! It was free pizza! Free fcking pizza! It just shows up at my fcking door! What am I supposed to do? "We're flight attendants. Come on, fck us! No one will know. Come on, fck us!" Oh, twosomes, threesomes. It doesn't matter! Starfish! Husbands! You don't give a fck, you will just fck anything, you will just fck anything! Well, you lied to me, I tried to help you! I let you in, I was a good guy, I am a good father! And you just fcking fcked me! What? Now, you're going to kll me! You're going to kll me? Why? Why? Because you fcked me? What the fck-fck-fck, this is fcking insane! You're to be excuted at dawn. If I were you, I wouldn't waste my last few hours crying about it. BEL: I am sorry, Daddy. It is the only way. Bel? EVAN: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! (BEL GRUNTS WITH EFFORT) (GRUNTS) EVAN: FaceTime. Karen! EVAN: FaceTime. Karen! Digging a grave is fcking tiring. - BEL: And filthy. - (PHONE RINGING) Your wife's clothes are going to need dry cleaning. What's that? (RINGING CONTINUES) You can't have access to an iPad, Evan. You could be trying to reach a child. (BEL GIGGLES) Let's face it, Evan. You're a monster. Or should I say (MOCKING) monster! (GROWLING) EVAN: What? Monster surprised? How do you know about that? Oh, monster confused! How the fck do you know that! Monster will be quiet! You spied on me? On my kids? Oh, my fcking God! Oh, my fcking God! Jesus! I am so fcking stupid! Yeah, you are. (BEL SNICKERING) Monster retrd. (MOCKING INDISTINCTLY) GENESIS: Let's change, I feel gross. Look at all this shit. (GROANING) GENESIS: This is you, Evan. This is going to be your little fcking head, you fcking cheater! (GROANING) BEL: I love this color! Red's my favorite! (GIRLS GRUNTING) (SQUEALING) (SNICKERING) GENESIS: Time for a haircut, Evan. EVAN: No. No. Got to be pretty for your funeral. No. He's so hairy. No. You don't want to lose an ear. No. Hold still. GENESIS: There we go. You look pretty. There's Evan cutie! BEL: There you have it. GENESIS: Oh, now we see your pretty face. EVAN: fcking bitches! (MOCKING) "I love the sound of vinyl." "I am Evan." BEL: Watch this, Evan. (MOANING) (GRUNTING) (CHEERING) (GASPS) GENESIS: Jackpot! (GASPS) Is that real? What a clever way to hide this from the kids, Evan! You know, most firearm deaths are a family member of the gn owner. BEL: I don't own a gn. It's dangerous. GENESIS: Untie him. - Are you sure? - Yeah. Genesis, please don't point that at me. I know, it's cheating. We still have 90 minutes. But you were keeping secrets from us, Evan. Had you gotten to this before us, I don't think we'd be having this conversation. And you wouldn't do the same? I am not like you, Evan. I don't own a gn, I don't sht people. I sure as hell don't bend the rules for my own convenience. Untie him, Belly. (WINCES) I don't want him to kick me. GENESIS: He won't. He kicks, I sht. He knows that. Don't you, Evan? What do you want? I want to play hide and seek. EVAN: What? (SIGHS) Thirty seconds. Only inside the house. You leave the house, I sh*t. What're you going to do when you find me? Well, if we don't find you by sunrise, we will leave. - Bullshit. - Thirty seconds. Go! Go! - BOTH: Go! - GENESIS: Go! BOTH: Thirty, twenty-nine. Twenty-eight, twenty-seven.... twenty-six, twenty-five, twenty-four, twenty-three, twenty-two... GENESIS: Go! Ready or not? Here we come! (BOTH GIGGLING) GENESIS: Evan, you can't hide from us. Here we come. Evan? We can smell you, Evan. Daddy? Psst! In here. - Evan? - Oh, Evan? Are you here, monster? Evan? Evan? Shit! Evan! GENESIS: Yeah, there he goes! Stop! Evan! Stop! Oh, fck! Don't fcking move! Help me! Help me! Scream all you fcking want! Help me! No one's fcking home! We tried every house! (ALARM RINGING) (EVAN GROANING) GENESIS: Are you ready! EVAN: Please don't do this! GENESIS: Time to say goodbye! EVAN: Please! Please! Help! Please! Help me! Please, somebody help me! Help! Please somebody.... Please, let me go! Help! Please help me! Somebody help me! No! Help me! No! No! No! No! No! No, help! Help! EVAN: Help! BOTH: One, two, three! GENESIS: Whoopsie-daisy! (GRUNTS) BEL: So Evan, did we hurt your shoulder? GENESIS: We want you to be comfy, Evan. (GRUNTING AND GROANING) EVAN: Help! Help! EVAN: Help! Help! Help! Don't move, Evan. You might get dirt in your eyes. BEL: Yeah, close your eyes, baby. EVAN: Help! Help! Help! EVAN: Help! Help! Help! EVAN: Help! Help! Help! Please. Please. Please. Please, don't do this. Please! Bel. Please. Please. It looks like he's trying to communicate. Please. If you promise to behave, I will take out the gag. EVAN: Okay. Don't do this. Please? I will do whatever you want. I will do whatever you want. Whatever! Even calling your family and telling them everything you did to us? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I will tell them. I will tell them. GENESIS: Okay, let's give him a lifeline. BEL: I love the lifeline part. Let's see. GENESIS: But the lifeline is a phone call. Not FaceTime. Your wife's not going to see you like this. (ON VOICEMAIL) Hi, this is Karen Alvarado, please leave a message or send a text. Ciao. (BEEPS) Go ahead, talk. Honey. I am sorry for what I am going to tell you. EVAN: They made me. EVAN: fck! Call 911! Call 911! I have been kidnapped by two girls! Evan, Evan. Evan! Call 911! No, no, no, Evan! Call 911! You broke the rule. Evan, why did you do that? Well, now she will fcking find you! Not really. I hung up as soon as it ht voice mail. I knew you'd pssy out. EVAN: You fcking whores! EVAN: You fcking whores! I will fcking kll you, you fcking-fck bitch ct! I will fcking kll you! You fcking bitches! Oh, there's Evan. There he is! We missed you. fcking whores! (GROWLING) GENESIS: Knock-knock! I said knock-knock. No! I don't think he can talk. Okay. Knock-knock. - Who's there? Cheating Evan. - Cheating Evan who? Cheating "Evan-tually" gets you klled. No! No! - Ready, Evan? - No! No! - One! - No! - Two. Do it! - No! No! Three! (LAUGHING) Look at his face. (EVAN SOBBING) We got you good. You didn't really think we were going to kll you, did you? We're not animals. It was just a game, Evan. A game? A game? You know what? For a moment, I thought you were the one who'd say no. And now we have to play a game with someone else. You know what's funny? They never say no. No matter who they are. No matter how much they love their families. You're all the same. GENESIS: Bye, Evan. BEL: You were my favorite. GENESIS: Oh! Wish me happy birthday. I turn 22 next week. Yeah. BEL: I freaked out when I turned 18. But you made me feel 15 again. Thanks, Evan. (GIGGLING) Let's get out of here. Oh, I almost forgot. Yes, your phone. You know you really should be more careful with Facebook. If you don't log out someone could do terrible things with it. Post something really personal for all your friends to see. Look closely. So you will remember us. GENESIS: (RECORDED) Yes, Evan, fck her! BEL: fck me, Daddy! EVAN: Okay. GENESIS: Attaboy, Evan. fck her! BEL: fck me! fck me! I am sure you will get a lot of likes though. GENESIS: Doggy style, Belly! Enjoy! (BEL HOWLING) BEL: Oh! Bye, Evan! Muah! We will miss you! EVAN: Oh... EVAN: No... (MOANING AND CRYING OUT FROM PHONE) Oh, no! (MUSIC PLAYING) (GROANING) BEL: f*ck me, Daddy! EVAN: God, God! (PANTING) (GRUNTS) KAREN: Take your bags to your rooms. Then go use the bathroom. And then we're going to go see Monkey, okay? Are you guys tired? Yeah! LISA: Monkey? "Monkey?" JAKE: Daddy had a party.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Knock Knock (2015)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Start walking Edgar: Oh great, another cellmate, no offense, I’m sure you’re lovely pal, give you a tour , get you situated, there’s the bucket where your pee freezes, that’s it What’s your name lass? Edgar: That’s Holga, I’m Edgar I’ve been in a lot of cells, never shared one with a female before Edgar: Word of advice, she doesn’t like to be disturbed while eating her potatoes, highlight of her day I’m not talking to you, I’m not so bad Edgar: Jonathan’s on the committee’s, if anyone’s going to free us, it’s him I noticed Jarnathan isn’t present, should we wait for him to be here? Baroness Torbo: Councilman jarnathan is delayed by the storm Chancellor Anderton: Speak or wave your proposal Edgin: It might surprise you to know I wasn’t always a thief I was part of the Harper faction, a network of spies who supported tyranny , never asked for anything in return Stopped in their tracks, took down a red wizard I came home to my loving wife and daughter Being a Harper I didn’t make a lot of friends, damage dealt by a red wizard’s blade , As Zia died so did my devotion to the oath sorry it’s hard to re live without Jarnathan He missed an essential part of my back story Torbo: We’re capable of deciding your case without Jarnathan Edgin: I came home to my loving You went back too far, quit stalling Edgin: That’s where I met Holga, she took pity on me, she took pity on the baby , we were both residents of rock bottom , became like brother and sister, built on trust and mutual respect , we didn’t have money, tried something different You’re probably wondering how we continued this criminal lifestyle with a young girl involved, we didn’t leave her home Wasn’t the only new recruit, Simon a so so sorcerer and a con man named Forge We were thieves, didn’t hurt anyone, robbed the people who would feel it the least Edgin: It’s too dangerous Young Kira: Then you shouldn’t go either Edgin: I didn’t tell her about the tower and to shit it went We’re stuck in a time stop Simon: Sophina’s too powerful Edgin: Take the tablet, keep Kira safe Forge: You have my word If you sentence me to another two years or twenty for that matter, it wont be punishment enough for the worst crime I ever committed , robbing me daughter of her father Jarnathan! Jarnathan: Step aside Torbo: Jarnathan! But we aporoved your pardon Edgin: Fly bird Holga: He’s still breathing Edgin: I told you he’d get us out of there Holga: Sure Kira’s here Edgin: It’s been empty for a while Bartender: Another for you and your wife Holga: Those lips Edgin: Gross You sure you want to go through that? What if Marilman doesn’t want to talk to you Holga: It’s not about what he wants, it’s about closure Edgin: He sent you a letter saying he wasn’t your husband anymore, sounds like closure Edgin: Forge is lord of dundermin? Holga: How’d that happen? Edgin: If he has Kira I don’t care Some people like these lips Edgin: How long’s it been? Holga: Two years Edgin: How long have we been sitting here? Kira: Holga, dad Holga: Hey bug Kira: I missed you What are they? Edgin; Mittens Holga: Oh thanks Kira: Holga I still have the pendant you gave me, use it to sneak around the castle, so strange you’re here Edgin: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and things went badly, why are you looking at me like you’re mad at me? Kira; Because you’re acting like it wasn’t your fault Edgar: Early release Olga: Good behaviour Edgar: How did you become the lord of dundermin? Forge: When you charged me with Kira’s wellbeing, I didn’t care for it, had to be better , so when Neverumber , the treasure we took from Coren’s cave paved the way for my campaign This is blistering hot, speak to the kitchen staff , there’s no need for it to be this hot Forge: You remember Sofina Edgar: You’re still working with her? She’s the reason we got caught Forge: If it wasn’t for her, we all would have been caught I didn’t realise we were just in I’ll leave that for later Kira: Of course you came for the tablet of riches not for me Olga: The what? Edgar: The tablet of reawakening, that’s why I agreed to the heist, I was trying to bring back your Mum Is that what he told you? I left you for more riches Olga: You know why he came Kira; Why wouldn’t you tell me it was for Mum? Edgar: I didn’t want you to be disappointed if I failed Forge: You’ve been lying since you stepped foot in here Kira: You escaped? Kira: You snake Forge: She really is a really powerful wizard , you think you’d remember that from the last time you were trapped Edgar: You wanted us to get caught Forge: I wanted you and Simon to get caught Olga: After all these years you double cross us for this witch Forge: Never put your trust in a con man Holga: Have to worry about our own hides Edgin; You got this? Holga: I know you don’t Holga: Gail vanderman’s? How did you know that? Holga: Ink on the haft, nice parry, that’s nice Holga: What do you clean it with? You’re about to have your head chopped off , this is what you’re concerned with? Boiled linseed oil , once a month Holga: Should be once a week, that’s why you’re getting rust on the head Chop it off Edgin: We’ve got them now Olga: Before we go Edgin: Linseed oil Kira: Why did he lie? Forge: Maybe he was ashamed to admit Kira: I should go talk to him Forge: He’s gone, i gave him the tablet of riches Holga: sh*t an arrow at him Edgin: What if you ht kira? Holga: That’s a risk we’re going to have to take Edgin: Hitting my daughter is not an option Holga: Simon is a terrible sorcerer Edgin; That was two and a half years ago Simon: Can’t hold a candle to this trick , you know the smell of fresh cut grass He’s making off with Simon: This is part of the act Simon: Do you know what kind of magic is protecting the keep? Edgin: That’s what you’re going to find out Simon: Think I can just walk through the shield The living have befouled this world long enough Take solace in knowing the time is near Doric: Who are you? Simon: Simon Doric: Simon who? Simon: Ouch, Simon Olmar Doric: What do you want? Holga: We need a deer Doric: Humans, you’re all hateful and selfish Simon: I’m half human Doric: But you’re a bad sorcerer Edgin: Can count on him which is why I keep coming back to him Holga: He’s the only sorcerer he knows Doric: What are you? Edgin: I’m a planner , I make the plans Doric: You’ve already made the plan, what’s your value now? Edgin: When the existing plan fails, I make a new plan Doric: So you make plans that fail? Holga: He also plays the flute Doric: None of our plans to take down Forge have worked We dared question how he came into power, he declared us enemies, excuted our people Forge: Taken every measure imaginable to maintain the asset you wager, new port on every tower , if the alarms raised no-one gets in or out What prompted you to resume the games? Lord Neverumber considered them barbaric Forge: Neverumber and I are different people Simon: I’m sick of everyone thinking you can solve every thing with magic, this isn’t a bed time story, this is the real world Doric: He just made a whole speech about how you can’t use magic Simon: Actually I can, talk to corpses then they die again Fairly awful Edgin: Fairly wonderful Doric; That’s Marelman? Edgin: We were all suprised first time we saw him I thought your sentence was longer Holga: Busted out of there Same old Holga Holga: How you been? Got my garden, working on my book Holga: You’ve still got that stick i gave you You can take it, Gwinn’s not one for rambling Gwinn: I’ve heard a lot about you , I would shake your hand , how long you in town? Holga: Passing through, going to talk to corpses south of Nessmir Holga: Does she make you happy? Happier than I did? She makes her work honestly, doesn’t drink herself silly, make me weep in the small hours wondering where she is Holga: I was in pain, I was banished by my tribe to be with you I built us a home to help you forget Holga: Gwinn seems lovely , you deserve that When you left, i lost my family, i was lucky enough to find another one, I hope you do too Simon: The corpse is revived , ask them five questions Foric: Why five questions? Simon: I don’t know, that’s just how it works Doric: Seems arbitrary Edgin: Were you in the evermores? Yes Corpse: Yes Edgin: Four more questions? Yes corpse: Yes Edgin: No, not you, did that count as one? Yes corpse: Yes Edgin: Only speak when I’m speaking to you, okay? Yes Simon: Why did you say okay? Edgin: Do you know where the helmet of dysjunction is? It was in posession of my chief, Stonehurt grimwurf We knew we outnumbered then but our numbers were no match for the dragon That’s the last thing I remember Simon: Ask him the other four questions Edgin: What for? Simon: Look at the poor bloke Edgin: What’s your favourite food? Oats no barleys Edgin: Do you like cats? Not really Edgin: What’s two plus two? I’m bad at math Simon: Feel better? Edgin: No Sven Corpse: It was the morning of the battle , i got out of my bath and slipped on a stone Edgin: Then you got back in the bath? Sven corpse: No, I died from the fall Edgin; Your chief gave the helmet to you, Van sullivan I’m Sven Sullivan, that’s my brother Edgin: What’s your favourite book? Corpse: Can’t pick just one, historical works, Fanged tomb of lithasus za , that was just the fourth question, shit Simon: You’re known as a man of integrity and honour, we can assure you our reasons for using the helmet are noble? Holga: We’re going to rob someone Xenk: Why do you want to take down Forge? He took the tablet of reawakening and his daughter Holga: In other words he’s a real son of a bitch Xenk: So you blame his mother for this corruption? Holga: No, it’s an expression Xenk: I don’t travel well in colloquialisms Holga: You’re not a lot of fun are you? Xenk: Swear on it, swear on the Harper seal you will distribute your wealth to the people of Never winter Xenk: Witness to the first hand horrors of the spell, men turned to monsters, turned on their children You and I both lost a part of ourselves, what we do with it Edgin: I don’t trust this guy Holga: Even though he’s helping us Edgin: He’s got something up his sleeve Xenk: The only thing up my sleeve is my arm Edgin: : How did he hear that? Xenk: I heard that too Edgin: I hate you Xenk: Consume the brain, Take over the body , they’re drawn to mental energy, the more intelligent, they’re likely to strike Edgin: That’s a little hurtful Simon: What’s the formula? Xenk: Oddly shaped blocks, move forward every fifth step, move laterally Simon: My foot was on the bridge, didn’t know it started Xenk: We must flee Holga: Why? You klled them all already Xenk: It’s no simple feat to kll that which is already dad Holga: That’s one pudgy dragon Xenk: Thornserd, he must have found a new den Edgin: Did he eat the last one? Edgin: Thanks for back there Xenk: You would have done the same for me Edgin: Yeah We’re stuck Edgin: Portal us out of here Simon: I can only portal to what i can see, you want me to portal us from that wall to that wall? Edgin: It’s salt water, that trick you’ve been working on Simon: Fresh cut grass Edgin: No the fre Holga: You want to make him angrier Edgin: What are you looking at? Xenk: A harper shaking off its slumber Edgin: There he goes, walks in such a straight line, coming up on a rock, is he going to go around it? No, right over it Simon Olmar sorcerer descended from wizarding blood Simon: Who are you? Olmar: You don’t know me, My name is Olmar too Simon: You’re my great great grandfather That’s quite a crown, what makes you think you’re worthy of it? Simon: I believe in myself? You’re asking me? The funny thing about magic is it chooses who wields it Simon: I told you it wasn’t going to work but he said to keep it between us for morale Edgin: If you can’t attune it, we go to Plan B Holga: Plan B? We dug up my family and you knew it wasn’t going to work! Doric: You’re human, you lie Simon: Aren’t you tired of failing? Edgin: We have to keep failing, if we stop, that’s when we fail , Holga you left your tribe to be with a man who left you because you were upset about your tribe, if you quit now, that’s in stone Simon you’re a petty thief masquerading as a pettier sorceror Simon: You’re quick to point out our faults, what about you Ed? Edgin: I’m the champion of failures, i lost everything that mattered to me, you know what klled my wife? I did, i decided i wanted a better life, i didn’t know red wizards marked their treasure , I brought them to our door I didn’t even had the good luck to be there Sneak the hitch on something, sneak it on something getting inside Edgin; It’s upside down, why would they store it like that? Edgin: Plan C is we go back to Plan A Holga: Why not call it plan A? Edgin: Plan A has a sink on it Edgin: You’re getting inside that vault not because you can, because you must Doric: I’m going to keep chipping away, can squeeze through as a worm Edgin: Plan D if Plan B fails Holga: What about Plan B? Edgin: Plan B stinks too How do we get inside? Edgin: We distract them , I have a good feeling about Plan C Edgin; What’s going on? Simon: My foot’s stuck Holga; I think they’re starting to get suspicious Edgin: Put us in the high sun games, give us a fighting chance Forge: That’s no chance at all Simon: Magic suppression cuffs Holga: This dummy talked him into putting us in the games Edgin: We’re still alive, he put us right above where Forge said he put the treasure Doric: Any longer, I would have lost my hand Holga: Look what you did lose Doric: Jump inside Edgin: In that thing? Holga: You want us to end up like that guy? Doric: You’ll only be in there a few seconds, when the gong sounds get inside Edgin: Who’s going to pull us? Doric; I will , trust me Always Holga: That stings Edgin: I really didn’t think that was going to work Simon: You assured us it would Edgin: Right? You don’t like humans Doric: Some are okay, Going back to the Harpers? Be with your people Edgin: I’m with my people Simon: My previous attempts to court you have gone badly, Have you considered giving it another go? Edgin: Yeah sure Simon: Yeah! Calm down Forge: As irreprehensible as my actions are, i created a sort of renaissance in the city, even though I’ve only served the first year of my sentence, it’s been eye opening, I look inside myself and wonder what’s going on in there I think it goes back to my mother, stern woman Enough! Your pardon is denied Torbo: Jarnathan! Forge: I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me	{"type": "movie", "show": "Dungeons and Dragons , Honour among thieves ( 2023)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
NARRATOR: No one would have believed in the early years of the 21 st century... ...that our world was being watched by intelligences greater than our own... ...that as men busied themselves about their various concerns... ...they observed and studied... ...the way a man with a microscope might scrutinise the creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency, men went to and fro about the globe... ...confident of our empire over this world. Yet across the gulf of space, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic... ...regarded our planet with envious eyes... ...and slowly and surely... ...drew their plans against us. [CLANGING] MAN 1: Tell him to send it over to the cargo shed. MAN 2: It's on its way. Ray. Ferrier. Whoa. I need you back in four instead of 12. I got half of Korea coming in at noon. No, no, no, I can't. I'm on a 12-hour blow. Call Tedesco. Come on. Tedesco can't move 40 containers in an hour. I gotta have somebody who can do double picks. I wish I could help you, Sal. It's the gddmn union regulations. Come on. I'm in a position here, Ray. You remember the union regulations, Sal. You know what your problem is? I can think of a couple women who'd be happy to tell you. [TIRES SCREECHING] [CAR HORN HONKS] [DRIVER YELLS IN SPANISH] 8:30? Did we say that? We said 8:00. Hey, this is... This is one safe-looking new vehicle you got yourself here, Tim. Congratulations. Thank you. Eight o'clock, huh? Mm-hm. We'll be back by 9:30 on Sunday, depending on the traffic. There he is. [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON HEADPHONES] Get a hug? Confusing handshake? Kick in the teeth? The door's locked. Still working on those manners? Hello, Dad. Hello, Rachel. MAN: Yo, Stan, hurry up. We gotta get to work. Here, honey. Let me give you a hand getting that inside. The door's locked. TIM: Let me get it. I don't mind. I don't mind. Hey, she said she could get it. It's heavy. She said she could get it. It's got rollers. Just roll it. Yeah, but we can't roll it up the stairs, can we? Really, I got it from here, okay? It's a 302 V8. It's... It's gonna be out of here next week. You better get going, you wanna bat the traffic, don't you think? MARY ANN: You're out of milk. And ever�thing else. RAY: Yeah. Could you close the door, please? Because that's my refrigerator. I'm gonna go wait outside. Okay, sweetheart. I'll see you in a few days. RACHEL: Bye, Tim. I better get this upstairs. Let me... Let me get... Mom, Mom, Mom. Mary Ann... Okay, okay. Mom, Mom. [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON HEADPHONES] A little old to be sharing, aren't they? I don't hear any complaints. No, I do. Robbie's got a paper on the French occupation of Algeria due Monday, which he's yet to begin. It'd be nice if he were done by the time we got back so we don't have to keep him up all night on Sunday. I just gotta type it up. MARY ANN: No. You just gotta start writing it first. I love you, Mom. MARY ANN: I love you. Listen to your father. Oh, no shoes on the bed. We'll be at my parents' house in Boston, but don't call the house line, you know, they... The point is, I've got my cell phone, so if anything comes up or you have any questions, just call me. Believe it or not, I can handle it. I'll leave the phone on. Mary Ann. It's a good look for you. You think? Yeah. Take care of our kids. Mary Ann, you got nothing to worry about. Listen, you tell your mom that Ray sends his love and kisses. Right. She'll love that. The Ukraine, a country of some 52 million people, is in almost total blackness tonight, in the wake of a series of freakish lightning storms of catastrophic proportion, which struck the country at approximately 4 a.m. local time. EMP, or electromagnetic pulse, which causes a temporary interruption of all electrical current within its field. As in the Ukraine, there are scattered reports that the EMP here was followed by seismic activity on the scale of an earthquake, measuring 6.5 on the Richter scale. This... Baseball season's over. RAY: Five minutes. It's not gonna kll you. There he is. Boston. That's how it is? Is that how it's gonna be? Oh! [RAY CHUCKLES] Careful with that throw. Whatever, Ray. RAY: Mom says you got a report due, so you'll work on that when we're done. ROBBIE: I'm almost finished. I just gotta type it. Yeah, bullshit. Yeah? What do you know, Ray? Ever�thing. Haven't you heard? Between me and my brother, we know ever�thing. What's the capital of Australia? That's one my brother knows. Okay with you if I just laugh the first 500 times you tell that one? Just do your report. We don't send you to school so you can flunk out. You don't pay for it, Tim does. RAY: That's half what I've got. You're an asshle. I hate coming here. That why you act like such a dick? What? That's not how you're gonna get through to him. If you want him to listen to you... What are you, your mother or mine? Where you going? I'm going to sleep, you know? I work for a living. What are we supposed to eat? You know, order. [SIGHS] [CARTOON PLAYS ON TV] CARTOON CHARACTER [ON TV]: Three and two... - Electromagnetic storm... The storms were tracked... Oh, and I'll have my own little secret. Good idea, eh, Gary? GARY: No. SPONGEBOB: Oh, what do you know? You're a snail. [SIGHS] Ow. RAY: What's the matter? Got a splinter. Oh? Where'd you get it? Come here. On your porch railing. Do you need me to...? What? To do what? You want me to...? You want me to take that out? Absolutely not. Come here. Let me see it. Let me see. Dad. Just look. Don't touch it. Dad. Rach. I can't. You're moving it around. Okay, don't touch it. Just look at it. It's gonna get infected. No, it won't. Yes, it'll get infected. No, it won't. When it's ready, my body will just push it out. Push it out, huh? I read that. You should get TiVo. Tim got it for my room. TiVo? It's awesome. I can watch all my shows after homework. Yeah, I'll just put it on my platinum card. Robbie? Robbie. What is that? Hummus. Hummus? From the health-food place. Kept one of their menus last time we were here. You said order. I meant order food. Where is Robbie? He went out. Out where? I don't know. He just took your car and left. PATRICK [ON TV]: Who said that? Who's there? It's the clam burglar. [MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR RADIO] [ONLOOKERS CHATTERING] [MAN WHISTLES] MAN 1: Steven, look at this. MAN 2: What's up? MAN 3: Check it out! You ever see something like that? Springtime, maybe. Not this time of year. Come on, we can see better from the back yard. You gotta come see this! [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] RAY: That is so weird. What? The wind is blwing toward the storm. That is weird. MAN: Hey, watch it! Rachel, you wanna see something cool? It's okay. I wanna go inside. It's okay. I wanna go inside. Okay, you go ahead. That's enough weather for me. Don't wanna go by myself. [LIGHTNING PULSING] It's kind of fun, isn't it? No. Come on, like the Fourth of July. No, it's not. [SINGS] O, say can... [RACHEL SCREAMS] It's okay. You're fine. It ht right behind our house. Yeah, well, it's... It's not gonna ht there again, okay, because lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place. Oh, shit! Where's Robbie? I don't know. Is Robbie okay? Are you okay? Where's the thunder? Why won't it stop? Is it over? [BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY] Where are you going? Just... I'm just checking things out. Just wait... Wait there. Are we gonna be okay? I don't know. You don't know? No, I meant, I just... Just... Rachel, please. Just stop asking so many questions. Just wait here. [RECEIVER CLICKING] MAN: Turn ever�thing off. Ever�thing is off. I can't get one freaking thing to turn on. You believe this, Ray? Every single car. RAY: Oh, Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. The car just stopped, and... RAY: You're okay? Are you okay? You all right? The lightning started to ht. And me and this guy... Where the hell did you go? Over on Lincoln Avenue. Lincoln Avenue? By the church. You saw the lightning? Yeah, 26 times we counted, over and over again. The lightning started to ht. It opened up this hole or something... Twenty-six times? Yeah. You're okay? Yeah. Good. All right, well, your sister is in the house, and I want you to go in that house and I want you to stay with her, okay? The next time you take my car with no driver's license and no permission, I call the cops. You better be there when I get back. ROBBIE: Yeah. Robbie. Manny, Manny. Manny, what is it, dad? All of them. Ever�thing. Look at this. The starter's fried. RAY: Lightning ht it? Not even close. I thought if I changed it... Any idea what's going on? I'm on my way to find out. Try changing the solenoid. It's probably fried. Right, that's what I said. I told you that. The solenoid. WOMAN: Hey, they're saying all the lightning struck down by the church. MAN 1: What the hell is going on around here? COP: Let us through. RAY: Hey. COP: Let us through. RAY: Hey. MAN 2: What up, Ray? I should've known you two were behind this. Hey, God's pissed off at the neighbourhood, Raymond. I'll tell you that much. JULIO: You see it? You got power where you are? Nope. Nothing. It's the cars. That's the thing. Solar flare. That's what this guy told me he heard. A solar flare? The sun sh*t off big blobs of plasma. They turn into solar flares. It's the only thing that can kll all the electronic stuff. Can I tell you something? The sun does not cause lightning. JULIO: I'm telling you what that guy said. I understand, but it just sounds dumb when you say... I never seen anything like this before. That many strikes of lightning in one spot? MAN: Is this the only place? COP 1: Put that down. COP 2: You wanna step back? COP 1: Step back. You're gonna fall in. COP 2: Get back. COP 3: Back up, people. People, back up back there. Move back. Everybody back up. Move back. Move back. [CROWD CHATTERING] JULIO: Is it hot? COP 3: Back up. RAY: No. COP 3: Back up. It's freezing. MAN 1: What is that? Oh, wait. Move. You feel that? MAN 2: I feel that. MAN 3: Hey, Bobby, come check this out. You feel that? Feel that? I feel that. What is it, the subway? There's no subway here. F train, maybe? That can't be the water main. There's nothing else down there. Water main doesn't run through here. MAN 4: Feel that? There's something there and it's moving. [RUMBLING] COP 1: Everybody move back. COP 2: Whoa. Back it up. Come on. COP 3: Let's go. COP 4: Come on, folks. Back up. Get back. [CROWD YELLING] COP 1: Help me out here. Get back. [CEMENT CRACKING] Go! Move! Everybody get out of the way! Everyone back up! Everyone clear the intersection! Get out of the way! Back up! Back up! Get out of the way! Forget it! Get back! COP 2: Get the hell out of the street. [CROWD SCREAMING] COP 2: Move away! Come on, we gotta clear this area now! [RUMBLING] MAN 1: That's my car! MAN 2: Go, go. Get the hell out of here! WOMAN: Oh, my God! COP: Come on, back up! Please! Move back! [CROWD SCREAMING] MAN: Watch it! Oh, my God. Ray, no. Stay, man. WOMAN 1: Just stay. Just stay back here. Stay back! WOMAN 2: Wow. [TRIPOD BLARES] MAN: Come on. [HEAT RAYS BUZZING] [CROWD SCREAMING] What happened? RACHEL: What's going on? Dad, what's the matter? What's all that stuff all over you? Ray. What's all this stuff? Hello? Ray? [WATER RUNNING] [WATER STOPS] We're leaving this house in 60 seconds. What? Why? I have no idea what's going on. All the food from the refrigerator and the cupboard, put it in here. ROBBIE: What's going on? Just tell me. Just do it. Rachel, sweetheart... Dad, you're really scaring me. I need you to get your suitcase, RACHEL: Dad. the one that you brought, and bring it to me, okay? Can you just do that for me, darling? Okay? WOMAN: I don't think it's a fre. See? That looks like smoke to me. What's happening? Shh, shh. I can't tell you now. We've only got about another minute. Please. Please. [CRYING] Just keep it down. I'm standing right beside you. Can you please answer me? Just get in the front seat, Robbie. Whose car is this? RAY: Just get in. Whose car is this? Hey. Hey, Ray. You were absolutely right. That is exact... I had to change the solen... Ray? Hey. Hey, Ray? Ray. Ray. What...? Come on, open up. Open the door, come on. Open the door, Ray. What are you...? RAY: Get in. MANNY: Get out of the car. Get in the car. It's not my car. It's not your car. RAY: Manny, Manny, shut up. MANNY: Daddy's acting crazy. You can't do this. Guy's gonna come back and... Manny, Manny, I don't have time to... You're busting my chops. I got a shop to run. RAY: Listen to me. MANNY: No. Get in, Manny, or you're gonna die. What do you mean? MANNY: Okay. All right, get out of the truck. I'm not kidding now. Get out of the car, Ray. I'm not gonna get in. I'm not getting in. RAY: Manny, get in with us. MANNY: I'm not gonna get in trouble. Look, I'm not fooling around... Close the door, Robbie. Close it. Ray, bring the car back, Ray. It's not my car. Get down! Get down, get down! Get down! Is it the trrorists? RAY: Just get down. Get down! Get down! Holy shit! [TIRES SCREECHING] [HORN HONKING] Where are we going? We gotta go. We got maybe, like, the only working car around here. I'm not stopping until we're clear of it. Clear of what? We gotta go. What's going on? Look, you saw, we're under attck! By who?! Who is attacking us?! Rachel? Rachel, you've gotta keep it down. Rachel. Rachel. Shut up, Rachel. You're freaking her out! Look, I'm driving! Do something! Okay, put them up, Rach. Make the arms. This space right here, this is yours. This belongs to you, right? RACHEL: Yes. You're safe. RACHEL: I'm safe. You're safe. Nothing can happen to you. Okay. I'm gonna go to the front seat, I'm gonna talk to Dad. No. I'll be 2 feet away. Okay. Will you hold my hand? Will you hold my hand? Yes. Are you gonna be okay? Yes. I wanna know ever�thing you know. This... This machine, it crawled out of the ground, started torching ever�thing. It was klling everybody. What is it? Is it trrorists? No, this came from someplace else. What do you mean, like, Europe? No, Robbie, not like Europe! That machine, it was already buried. Maybe it... ...it came down in the lightning storm. They came down in a lightning storm. What do you mean, came down? You said it was buried. No, the machine I'm talking about was buried, but what came down in the lightning storm, what operates it, that's the... You know. The what? That's... Why aren't there any helicopters or airplanes? It's the what? Hey, Rach. How you doing? How is she doing? How you doing? Fine. She's good. Good. What was that thing you did? Works sometimes. She gets claustrophobic. Yeah? Hey, Rachel? I want Mom. I know. You feel better? I want Mom. Yeah? Tell me about it, you know? Take me to Mom's. What I need is, I just need you to hold it together for me, okay? I want Mom! When you start screaming, I can't really drive... Take me to Mom's! I know that. That's where we're going, Rachel. RACHEL: Take me to Mom's! I know! RACHEL: Hurry up, Dad. Come on. Robbie, get the door. Mom! ROBBIE: Mom! RACHEL: Mom! Mom! Mom? Tim? Mom? Tim? Mom? Mom? RACHEL: Tim?! Tim? Tim? RACHEL: Mom? They're gone. Is she dad? She's not dad. All right? She's just not here, okay? They were never here. How do you know? Because they're on their way to Boston. And so they just... ...kept on going up to Boston. Probably at your grandma's house. I'm gonna call her. RACHEL: How come the lights are on here and not at your place? Because... ...nothing bad happened here. Okay? So we're safe here. All right? [BUS Y SIGNAL BEEPING] Okay, Rachel? This is your area. Okay, you are safe... Dad, that's not how it goes. Okay. Well, are you hungry? I'll get you some food. I'm gonna feed you. Get something to eat. What do we have? Busy signal. Ketchup? Mustard. You think all the circuits are down? Tabasco, barbecue sauce. This is really good, Robbie. Vinaigrette. I said pack food. What the hell is this? That's all that was in your kitchen. Okay. No, it's all right. All right. Okay. Food. Bread. Okay. We're gonna have... Let's get some sandwiches. Wanna see me deal? Wanna see me deal? Here we go. There's two for you. There's two for Robbie. There's two for me, one for the house. Okay. Maybe after we eat something, I'll go down and show you guys... Teach you how to play some poker? A little five-card stud? Maybe a little blackjack. I'm allergic to peanut butter. Since when? Birth. Okay, well, here. You can eat the bread. Okay? I'm not hungry. Okay, well, Robbie and I are gonna be eating peanut-butter sandwiches. Want jelly on this sandwich? I'm not hungry either. You're not hungry either? Okay. Okay, that's fine. Fine. Every... Everybody just relax, okay? Because we're here now. We're safe, and we're gonna stay. In the morning, your mom and Tim are gonna be here. And ever�thing's gonna be fine. Okay? Okay. If ever�thing's fine, why do we have to sleep in the basement? We've got perfectly good beds. Hey, it's like a slumber party. What are you afraid is gonna happen? RAY: Nice basement. I wanna sleep in my bed. Got back problems. Okay. Well... You know on the Weather Channel when there's a tornado, they tell you to go to the basement for safety? It's like that. There's gonna be tornadoes? Okay, Rachel? Hey, no more talking, okay? Could you be a little nicer to me? God. ROBBIE: Wanna stay here? RACHEL: Yeah. ROBBIE: Good. RACHEL: Good night. Love you. ROBBIE: Love you, Rach. [SIGHS] [RUSTLING] [WIND HOWLING] [PULSING] [BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY] Is the lightning back? No, this is something else. [SCREECHING] [RACHEL YELLS] [METAL GROANING] Ah! What's that sound? I've never heard that before! Is it them? Is it them? We gotta go. Where do we go?! Robbie, this is your house. Where do we go?! [explsin] [ENGINE ROARING] RAY: No, no, no, wait! [MUFFLED explsin] [ALL PANTING] RACHEL [WHISPERS]: Are we still alive? Down here. Were you on this plane? Are you...? Are you a passenger? How you doing? Wanna help me open this? Are you a passenger? He's deaf. The shell went off right beside him. Camera on his shoulder saved his life. You hear that, Max? Your stupid camera saved your stupid life. RAY: Where were you? Out there in the Pine Barrens. We were attached to a National Guard unit. The 83rd Mechanized. They moved on one of those things around midnight. They got some shield around them. You can't see it, but ever�thing we fre at them detonates early, before we can get close enough to cause any damage. When they flash that thing, ever�thing lights up like Hiroshima. There's more than one? You gotta be kidding me, right? We were feeding New York, but New York went dark. So we patched over to D.C., they went down. L.A., Chicago, uplinked to London. Even called the affiliates to try to get them to catch the feed, but nobody answers. It's the same everywhere. Once the Tripods start to move, no more news comes out of that area. My God. You ain't seen nothing yet. I saw that storm. I was right in the middle of one of those. Well, you didn't see it like this. Those machines come up from under the ground, right? So that means they must've been buried here a long time ago. So who's driving the gddmn things? Watch the lightning. Watch it. Watch the lightning. Keep watching the lightning. What is that? That is them. They come down in capsules, riding the lightning into the ground, into the machines, right? [TRIPOD BLARING IN DISTANCE] You hear that? We're getting the hell out of here. Get in, get in, get in, get in. Hey, were you on that plane? That's too bad. It would've been a really great story. RAY: Look at me. Look at me. You keep your eyes only on me, understand? Okay. RAY: Don't look down. Don't look around. I'm taking you to the car. You're gonna wanna look around. But you're not going to. Are you? No. You're doing good. You're doing good. Keep your eyes on me. I'm going right to Boston. We're gonna see your mom. I'm not gonna look, Dad. That's a girl. That's my girl. Now listen. I want you to close your eyes. RACHEL: Okay. RAY: Got them closed? There you go. Keep them closed for me. RACHEL: Okay. Robbie, get in. Robbie, get in! Why are you yelling? It's okay. Get in. Why aren't we on the turnpike? I don't want everybody to see that we've got a working car. We'll stay along the Hudson till we find an open bridge or ferry, then we're gonna cross the Hudson. We'll take the back roads across Connecticut, all the way to Boston. Where is everybody? I don't know, running, hiding. In their basements. If we had balls, we'd go back and find one of those things and kll it. Right. Yeah, good. Why don't you just let me make the big decisions. Which would be when? Never, Ray? Never's about your speed. Stop. Enough of the "Ray" shit. All right? It's "Dad," "sir," Don't fight. or if you want, "Mr. Ferrier." That sounds a little weird to me, but you decide. Dad? Yes, Rachel. I've gotta go to the bathroom. Really? ROBBIE: I gotta go. Not so fast, not so fast, all right? There's two things we gotta watch out for. And the second is people who might want our car. There's nobody around. Yeah. I gotta go. All right, Rachel? Rachel, it's good right there. I'm not going in front of you guys. Just go where I can see you. Are you crazy? Don't look! I'm not gonna look. Just stay in sight! That's looking! Okay, well, listen, every time you guys don't listen to me, I'm telling your mother, okay? I'm making a list. Making a list. [GASPING] I told you to stay where I could see you. Sorry. I'm sorry. Stop! Stop! Wait! Stop! Let me on! Let me on! Give me a hand! Wait! Stop! Stop! Give me a hand! Kid, you're gonna get run over! ROBBIE: Give me a hand! You have room! Robbie! You wanna go in that direction? Stop! Stop! There's nothing living in that direction, Robbie. What do you care? You never gave a shit before. You never gave a shit! Okay, hard-ass, what's your plan, huh? You're in charge now! Tell me what we're doing. Catch up with these soldiers! Hook up with whoever else isn't dad, and we get back at them. We get back at them. That's what we do. Let's try one that doesn't involve your 10-year-old sister joining the Army. You have anything like that? Just tell us the truth. Wanna try that? You have no idea which way to go. You wanna come off all wise and shit! You only chose Boston because you hope Mom is there. And if she's there, you can dump us on her. You can dump us on her, then you'll only have to care about yourself, which is exactly the way you like it. Robbie! Where are you trying to go? What are you trying to do? Who's gonna take care of me if you go? [BUZZING ON RADIO] MALE VOICE [ON RADIO]: This is a test of the Emergency Alert System. If this had been an actual emergency, official messages from federal, state or local authorities would've followed the alert tone. This concludes the test of the Emergency Alert... I'll close my eyes. Why don't you drive for a bit. I don't have a license. Since when has that stopped you? Ray. Ray! Dad! Ray! Dad! [CROWD CHATTERING] ROBBIE: You think you could...? You think you could...? Do you think you could...? Don't stop. Don't take your foot off. Okay? I got it, but keep your foot on. Okay, I got it. I got it. Where is everybody going? RAY: I don't know, Rach. But we do, right? Yeah, we do. [HORN HONKS] RACHEL: Why did he do that? Why is he doing that? He wants a ride, Rach. Everybody just wants a ride. Can we give him one? Sit back and put on your seat belt. Robbie, put on your seat belt. Put on your seat belt, Rachel. Be careful. MAN: How'd you fix this? How'd you fix the car? Please! Why won't you help us? I'm sorry, I can't. I can't. Please, get away from the car. Hey! Stop the car. Stop the car! Get off the car! You could carry 20 people in there! Stop the car! RAY: Get off the car! MAN: Stop the car! [HORN HONKING] Hold on. ROBBIE: Look out! RAY: Watch out! Hold on! [CROWD YELLING] Are you okay? [RACHEL SCREAMING] RAY: No, wait! Wait! No! Just wait! Okay! Wait! Stop! Just stop! Daddy! Rachel! Get out of there! Robbie! RACHEL: Robbie! ROBBIE: Ray! Get in the car! Help! Rachel! Get out of the car! Rachel, get... Get out of the car. Get out! RACHEL: Daddy! MAN 1: Take it easy! RAY: Get off the car! Get off! Get off the car! Move! Move! Where's my son? MAN 2: You don't need that. Where's my son? Robbie! MAN 3: Cool down, man. Put the gn down, man. RAY: Robbie! Dad! Okay, now, listen. Put down the gn. I'm taking the car. My daughter's in the car. I'm taking the car, man. Please. All I want... Put down the gddmn gn! All I want is my daughter. I'm taking the car. Please, I just want my daughter. Let me just take my daughter. Can l...? All I want is my daughter. Yeah. Okay, go ahead, man. Robbie. MAN: Take me with you. [CROWD SCREAMING] [gn] [CRYING] MAN 1: Have you seen this girl? This is my daughter. MAN 2: He needs his medicine. MAN: We've got it the worst, that's what I heard. The U.S., mostly. South America and Asia, some. There's nothing going on in Europe. Europe got the worst of it, that's what everybody's saying. Completely wiped out some of it. I don't give a shit who it is. I got up close to one of those things in Stanfordville. If they're all over the place, we're dad. Looks like the power's still on here. Yeah. Yeah, power's still on. Because nothing bad's come up from the ground. WORKER 1: Hold on. Hold on, move back! WORKER 2: Watch out there, lady! WORKER 1: I said, move back! [BELL CLANGING] [TONY BENNETT'S "IF I RULED THE WORLD" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS] Unless you are O-positive and Rh-negative, thank you very much, but we already have more blood than we can use. Again, if you are O-positive, Rh-negative, identify yourselves. If you are not, thank you very much. We already have more blood than we can use for the transfusions. GUARDSMAN: Let's go, folks. This way. This way. Keep it moving. Keep it moving. This way. Let's go, folks. Keep it moving. WORKER: Move forward calmly. The boat can make more than one trip. Please move forward calmly. Take your time. Don't rush. Ray! Ray! Ray! RAY: Sheryl? Yeah. Hey. Oh, my gosh, is this your...? These your kids? Rachel. Hi, I'm Sheryl. This is my daughter, Nora. Nora. I've heard about you, Nora. Hi. RAY: This is my son, Robbie. Just like Dad. [SQUAWKING] It's good to see you as well. Trees are funny. WORKER: We're gonna move a few cars out of the way to make some more space. You're gonna have to give us a few minutes. But don't worry, there'll be plenty of room for everybody. MAN: We got sick people here. Let us on. [TRIPOD BLARING] [CROWD SCREAMING] Cast off. Get that ramp up. Cast off now. Get that ramp up. Cast off. No more people. No more people. We're taking the ramp up. RAY: Stay close. Stay close. GUARDSMAN: Everybody stop. Everybody stop. Wait, wait, wait. Just... GUARDSMAN: Back up. Back up. RAY: There's room. Stay back. No more room. There's no more room. Listen to me. There's three of us. Five. There's only five of us. There's no room. RAY: Okay, just don't push me. Sir, there's no more room. There's plenty of room. There's room for hundreds more. Sir... Everybody, wait. GUARDSMAN: Hold on. You just stay with me. Okay. RAY: Grab my jacket. GUARDSMAN: Everybody back up. Back up. SHERYL: I got you, Ferrier. Oh, Jesus. RAY: You okay? SHERYL: Yeah. Come on. SHERYL: Okay, Jesus. Oh, my God. RAY: Come on. Watch out. RAY: Come on. Oh, Ray. Ray! RAY: Come on. Come on. Go. I can go with him. RAY: Sheryl? SHERYL: Go with them. Go. Ray. Sheryl? GUARDSMAN: Everybody... RAY: Sheryl? There's room on the boat. Let us through, gddmn it. RAY: There's room on the boat. SHERYL: She's a child. Robbie. There's room on the... There's still room on the boat. There's room on the boat. RACHEL: Robbie. Just stay with me. Stay with me, Robbie. Robbie! RACHEL: Robbie, Robbie. RAY: Robbie! RACHEL: Robbie! Robbie. MAN: Come on. Here. Grab my hand. Here. Hold on. I got you. Hold on. Take my hand. Take it. Take my hand. Here! Oh, my God. Robbie! [CROWD SCREAMING] [PASSENGERS SCREAMING] MAN: Swim. Swim this way! Robbie, help me with her. Here, Rach. [ALARM WAILING] RAY: Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. [PEOPLE SCREAMING] ROBBIE: Oh, my God. [HEAVY atillery fring] [MACHINE gn fring] [explsin IN DISTANCE] Robbie, slow down. Robbie, slow down. RACHEL: Robbie. RAY: We gotta stay together, Robbie. Robbie? Stay together. Robbie! Get back here! RACHEL: Robbie! No, Robbie! Come back! RAY: Robbie. Don't move. Don't move. Now for God's sake, stay right here. I'm coming right back. Robbie! SOLDIER: Stop those people. Turn around. Turn around. RAY: Robbie. Robbie. Robbie. What the hell? Why are you doing this? Pull back. Five hundred meters to my 10 o'clock. Jekyll, no effect on target. No effect. Roger. No effect. Our mission, lieutenant, is to delay their advance till those refugees get to safety. Now, keep fring. You've gotta listen. Turn around! I want you to listen to me. Listen to me. SOLDIER 1: Go back down the hill! SOLDIER 2: All of you, just turn around! Don't do this. I know you wanna fight. I wanna be here. I need to see this. It seems like you have to, but you don't. Please, let me go. You don't. WOMAN: Okay. Wait. Wait. What are you doing here all by yourself? Sweetie, you gotta come with us, please. No. My dad's getting my brother. I have to stay. You can't stay here. MAN: Gotta go. I'm not gonna leave her. Leave. I'm not letting you do this. You can hate me. You can hate me. Let me go. But I love you. Please. I'm not letting you do this. Dad. I can't. No. Please. Please don't pull me. It's gonna be okay. You need to come with us. It is not safe... Please. I can't go with you. My dad's right there. Come. My dad's right there. Listen to me... I need to be here. I want to see this. Wait. Wait... Just stay for Rachel. Stay for your sister. Please, let me go. You need to let me go. WOMAN: All right. Okay. You're coming with us. Dad. WOMAN: We're going now. RACHEL: I can't. Dad! Dad. Dad! Let me go! Dad! Guide on. Guide on. Black Six. attck. attck. attck. Stop. That's my dad. I'm her father. I'm her father. We're so sorry. We thought she was alone. She was standing by the tree... She's fine. Let's go! Let's go! Robbie. Robbie! MAN: Over here. Over here! Hurry. Are you all right? Hey. What about you, huh? RAY: There you go. Is that comfortable? I need you to close your eyes now, okay? You need some sleep. Dad? He's gonna meet us. Hey. Robbie's gonna meet us, Rach. In Boston, at your grandma's. RACHEL: What do you think Mom's doing right this minute? RAY: Mom? Boston. She's waiting. And I know she's not sleeping, because she is so worried about you. And she's in Grandma's kitchen, and she's... She's making that awful tea she makes. And they're all just... They're all just counting the minutes until they see you again. What is this? What is this? I won. You won? The walk, trot and canter. Third place. [explsin IN DISTANCE] Sing me "Lullaby and Goodnight." I don't know that one. Sing me "Hushabye Mountain." I'm sorry, Rach. I don't... I don't know that one either. [SINGING] I'm not bragging, babe So don't put me down 'Cause I got the fastest Set of wheels in town Something comes up to me They don't even try 'Cause if I had a set of wings Man, you know she could fly She's my little deuce coupe You don't know what I got Just my little deuce coupe You don't know what I got Peach schnapps. Disgusting, I know it. Found a whole case of this shit. Thank you. I'm sorry about your son. We got separated. He's... He's gonna meet us in Boston. Did you...? Did you lose anybody? All of them. Harlan Ogilvy. Ray Ferrier. I got water. Food enough for weeks. You're welcome to stay. Both of youse. RAY: I'm sorry. I'm gonna get some sleep. Those machines, those... ...Tripods they got? They buried them. Right under our feet. Since before there... There were even people here. They've been planning this for a million years. We're bat to shit. Please. My daughter... OGILVY: Think about it. They defeated the greatest power in the world in a couple days. Walked right over us. And these are only the first. They'll keep coming. This is not a wr any more than there's a wr between men and maggots. This is an extermination. Are you afraid? Of course I am. I been around death plenty. I drive an ambulance in the city... Drove an ambulance in the city. That's all over now, huh? You know the people that make it, Ray? The ones that don't flatline before the hospital? It's the ones that keep their eyes open. That keep looking at you. Keep thinking. They're the ones that survive. We can't lose our heads, Ray. Running. That's what'll kll you. And I'm dad set on living. [LAUGHS] dad set on living... Thank you for taking us in. Not gonna be exterminated. [RUMBLING] It's okay. Come on. I wanna show you something. We're gonna fight them, Ray. They gotta have a weakness. Come on. Take a look. Somehow they klled a few of these things in Osaka. That's what I heard. You telling me the Japanese can figure it out, but we can't? We can do this, Ray. We can do it. We can get them. We can figure it out. RAY: Stay right there. I have a daughter. Why did you bring us here? To fight them together, Ray. Now we'll be the ones coming up from underground. When the time is right... ...take them by surprise, the way they took us. Take them by surprise. We're right under their feet, Ray. Right here. Under their feet. [MACHINERY WHIRRING OUTSIDE] [METAL CREAKS] [WOOD CRACKS] OGILVY: You miss your mommy? I had a little girl. Nearly your age. You know, if anything happens to your daddy, I'll take care of you. RAY: Rachel. You don't have anything to say to her. Do you understand? If you wanna talk to somebody, if you wanna ask a question, you ask me. What exactly is your plan, Ray? I know what I'm gonna do. How about you? You gonna sit here? Wait for them to come get you? Is that your plan? Maybe you wanna get caught. Couple days hiding in a basement too much for you, I bet. You'll probably turn yourself right in. [MACHINERY STOPS] Listen. It stopped. OGILVY: Maybe you'll be okay. Maybe you'll get lucky, and they'll train you as their pet. You know, feed you, train you how to do tricks. Will you shut up and listen? [RUBBLE SCRAPING] [RAT SQUEAKING] [MOUTHING] No. No. No. No. [CLATTERING] [ALL SIGH] [WOOD BREAKS] [FOOTSTEPS SPLASHING] [ALIENS GROWLING] [GROWLS] [CLICKS] RAY: Give me that. [BOTH GRUNTING] [SPEAKING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE] [TRIPOD BLARING] You and me... ...I don't think we're on the same page. [MACHINERY WHIRRING] OGILVY: Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray! Ray! Keep your voice down. Quiet! Not my blood. Not my blood. Not my blood. Not my... Not... ...my... Not my blood. Not my blood. Not my blood. Not my blood. Not my blood. Not my blood. Stop it. Stop it. Not my blood. Stop it. Not my blood. You gotta be quiet. You want them to hear you? They drink us. Please, they'll hear you. They drink us. Then they spray us, like fertiliser. You gotta be quiet. Drink us, and... They're gonna come back down here. Then they spit us out all over the gddmn red weeds. Do you understand what I'm gonna have to do? I can't let my daughter die because of you. This tunnel will get us to the city. We'll have tunnels there. Ready-made. Stop. Subway. See what I'm saying? Hide an army down there. Stop. We'll go underground. Sneak attcks at night. You stop it! We're the resistance, Ray. They can't occupy this country. Occupations always fail. History's taught us that a thousand times. This is our land. We eat it, we breathe it, only we can live on it. They can't survive here, Ray. They weren't built for it. They're gonna kll you, brother, not me! What are you doing, Dad? OGILVY: Not my blood! Whatever you hear, don't take this off. Dad? Rach? Dad? RAY: What was that song? That lullaby that I didn't know? OGILVY: Not my blood! "Hushabye Mountain"? Yeah, sing it. OGILVY: They can take you! Please, Rach, sing it. OGILVY: They can take you! [SINGING] A gentle breeze OGILVY: Your daughter! Don't stop. OGILVY: Not me! On Hushabye Mountain OGILVY: They're gonna kll you! That's my girl. Softly blows over Lullaby Bay OGILVY: Forget it! Tunnel! It fills the sails Of boats that are waiting Waiting to sail Your worries away So close your eyes On Hushabye Mountain [RAY AND OGILVY GRUNTING] Wave goodbye To cares of the day And watch your boat From Hushabye Mountain Sail far away From Lullaby Bay [CLATTERING] [RACHEL SCREAMING] Rachel? Rachel? [RACHEL SCREAMS] Oh, my God, no. Rachel? Rachel? Rachel? Rachel? Make some noise, baby. Rachel? Rachel? Rachel? Talk to me, baby. Come on. Rachel? Rachel? Rachel? Rachel! [RACHEL SCREAMS] [RACHEL SCREAMS] No, no, no! No! Hey! Help! WOMAN: What is happening? Rachel! [TRIPOD BLARES] [PRISONERS SCREAMING] Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Rachel? Rachel. Dad. [TRIPOD BLARES] RAY: No! Pull me! Pull me! [RAY GRUNTING] Pull! Pull! Pull me! Come on, pull! RACHEL: Dad! SOLDIER: One, two, three! We got him! Keep pulling! Everybody down! SOLDIER: Keep it moving, folks. Keep going, sir. Keep moving. WOMAN: I don't know what's going on. Hold Grandma's hand. SOLDIER: Let's go, folks. Keep moving forward. [BIRDS CAWING] SOLDIER: Put that down. Right this way, ma'am. Right this way, thank you. To the left, there, ma'am, just to your left. Thank you. What happened to it? It's dying. SOLDIER: Keep moving forward. SOLDIER 1: Keep moving, it's all right! You can pass on through. Move along! What happened? I don't know. Something's happening to them. Keep moving. Move out. SOLDIER 2: Let's go. Something's happening to them? Go. Go, just keep moving, sir. Let's go, sir. Let's go. Do not stop. Keep moving. Keep moving. Excuse me. What's happened? Did you guys take it down? No, it was behaving erratically, walking in circles, then it went down on its own about an hour ago. Now, please, let's go! Let's go! Keep moving! Come on! Don't stop! Do not stop! Let's go! Thank you! How is it dad all by itself? Rachel, I'm not sure. SOLDIER: Coming through. Coming through. Make a hole. Coming through. Calm down. Calm down and get in the tunnel. Calm down and get in the tunnel. Calm down and get in the tunnel. [BIRDS CAWING] Everybody calm down. Get in the tunnel. On the other side of the tracks! Hey! Hey! [TRIPOD BLARES] [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] Look at the birds! SOLDIER: I can't hear you! Look at the gddmn birds! No shield! I can't hear! No shield! The Javelin's the key! Load the Gustav! It's gonna be a tough kll! Let's go! It's safer in here. Let's go, let's go, let's go! Bring out the Javelin! Clear! Get from behind! Clear! [RACHEL SCREAMING] Let me know when you're tracking! Tracking! SOLDIER 1: Got a lock? SOLDIER 2: I got a lock! SOLDIER 1: fre the Javelin! SOLDIER 2: I got a lock! SOLDIER 1: fre the Javelin! SOLDIER 3: fre! It's okay. I love you. It's okay. You're gonna be okay. SOLDIER 4: Let's go! SOLDIER: Keep those civilians out of there. Back. Stay back! Come on, folks, back up! SOLDIER 2: Come on, guys, get on the line. Get up there now. SOLDIER: Stay back. Stay right here, huh? Hold on right there. SOLDIER 1: It's opening. SOLDIER 2: It's opening. Keep them back. Clear! SOLDIER: No, keep them back, keep them back. Come on, stay back. [GROWLS] Mom! [BOTH CRYING] Thank you. Robbie? RACHEL: Robbie? Hi, Dad. Hi, Dad. Hi, Dad. NARRATOR: From the moment the invde arrived, breathed our air, ate and drank, they were doomed. They were undone, destroyed, after all of man's wapon and devices had failed, by the tiniest creatures that God in his wisdom put upon this Earth. By the toll of a billion deaths, man had earned his immunity, his right to survive among this planet's infinite organisms. And that right is ours against all challenges, for neither do men live,	{"type": "movie", "show": "w*r of the Worlds (2005)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
All due Credit for this transcript goes out to: Tom Felton & More Thank you so much for allowing us to post this here and for taking all that time to do this for everyone! :heart Scene: A neighborhood on a street called Privet Drive. An owl, sitting on the street sign flies off to reveal a mysterious appearing old man walking through a forest near the street. He stops at the start of the street and takes out a mechanical device and zaps all the light out of the lampposts. He puts away the device and a cat meows. The man, ALBUS DUMBLEDORE, looks down at the cat, which is a tabby and is sitting on a brick ledge. Dumbledore: I should have known that you would be here...Professor McGonagall. The cat meows, sniffs out and the camera pans back to a wall. The cats shadow is seen progressing into a human. There are footsteps and MINERVA MCGONAGALL is revealed. McGonagall: Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. Are the rumours true, Albus? Dumbledore: I'm afraid so, Professor. The good, and the bad. McGonagall: And the boy? Dumbledore: Hagrid is bringing him. McGonagall: Do you think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this? Albus: Ah, Professor, I would trust Hagrid with my life. There is a motor sound, and the two professors look up to see a flying motorcycle coming down from the air. It skids on the street and halts. A large man, RUBEUS HAGRID, takes off his goggles. Hagrid: Professor Dumbledore, Sir. Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore: No problems, I trust, Hagrid? Hagrid: No, sir. Little tyke fell asleep just as we were flying over Bristol. Heh. Try not to wake him. There you go. Hagrid hands a baby in a blanket over to Dumbledore. McGonagall: Albus, do you really think its safe, leaving him with these people? I've been watching them all day. They're the worst sort of Muggles imaginable. They really are Dumbledore: The only family he has. They stop outside a house. McGonagall: This boy will be famous. There wont be a child in our world who doesn't know his name. Dumbledore: Exactly. He's better off growing up away from all that. Until he is ready. Hagrid coughs and sniffles, he is crying. He clears his throat. Dumbledore: There, there, Hagrid. It's not really good-bye, after all. Hagrid nods. Dumbledore takes a letter and places it on the baby, who is now at the foot of the door. The baby has a visible lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead. Dumbledore: Good luck...Harry Potter. The camera pans into the scar and the opening title shows: HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE Almost ten years after the: DURSLEY's home. The camera pans on a sleeping boy, almost eleven, with a lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead. There is a click, and knocking. Outside, a tall woman, PETUNIA DURSLEY, raps the door. Petunia: Up. Get up. {Knocks} {sighs} Now! {Smacks door of closet which is the boys bedroom} A large, tubby boy, DUDLEY DURSLEY, suddenly comes running down the stairs above the closet. He stops half-way down and goes back, jumping on the staircase. Dudley: Wake up, cousin! We're going to the zoo! Dudley laughs, comes down the stairs and runs for the kitchen. The boy, HARRY POTTER, tries to come out of the closet, but is pushed back in by Dudley. Petunia is in the kitchen, where Dudley has gone. Petunia: Oh, here he comes, the birthday boy! A larger man, VERNON DURSLEY, is sitting at the kitchen table. Vernon: Happy birthday, son. Petunia and Dudley giggle together. Harry comes into the kitchen, dressed in rags. Petunia: Why don't you just cook the breakfast, and try not to burn anything. Harry: Yes, Aunt Petunia. He sets to work. Petunia: I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley's special day. Vernon: Hurry up! Bring my coffee, boy! Harry: Yes, Uncle Vernon. Petunia leads Dudley over to the family room, where there are a vast amount of presents. Dudley stares. Dudley: How many are there? Vernon: Thirty-six. Counted 'em myself. Dudley: Thirty-six?! But last year last year I got thirty-seven! Vernon: Yes, well, some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year! Dudley: I don't care how big they are! Petunia: Oh, now, now, now. This is what we're going to do, is that when we go out we're going to buy you two new presents! How's that, Pumpkin? Scene: Outside, morning. The happy family is heading to the car. Harry goes to get in but is stopped by Vernon. Petunia: This will be a lovely day at the zoo. I'm really looking forward to it. Vernon: I'm warning you now, boy. Any funny business, any at all, and you won't have any meals for a week. Get in. Scene: The zoo. The family is in the reptile house, looking at a large BOA CONSTRICTOR. Dudley: Make it move. Vernon raps the glass of the cage. Vernon: Move! Dudley raps the glass much harder, and Vernon winces. Dudley: MOVE! Harry: He's asleep! Dudley: He's boring. Dudley and his parents retreat to another enclosure. Harry is left with the snake. Harry: Sorry about him. He doesn't understand what it's like, lying there day after day, having people press their ugly faces in on you. The snake looks up and blinks. Harry: Can you...hear me? {The snake nods} It's just...I've never talked to a snake before. Do you...I mean...do you talk to people often? {The snake shakes its head} You're from Burma, aren't you? Was it nice there, do you miss your family? {The snake turns its head in the direction of a sign which says, Bred in Captivity} I see. That's me as well. I never knew my parents, either. The now awake snake has attracted Dudley's attention. He rips over to the cage, knocking Harry to the floor. Dudley: Mummy, dad, come here! You won't believe what this snake is doing! Dudley puts his hands on the glass wall. Harry, from the ground, glares at him. Suddenly, the glass disappears. Dudley wretches forward. Dudley: Whoa! Ahh! Ahh! Dudley falls into the snake enclosure, sputtering in a pool of water. The snake gets out of the exhibit, stopping in front of Harry. Snake: Thankssssssss. Harry: Anytime. The snake starts off. Man: SNAKE! There is a lot of screaming as the snake heads for freedom. Dudley gets up to get out, but the glass is now back over the enclosure. He is stuck. He pounds the glass. Dudley: Mum, mummy! Petunia: {Sees him} AHH! Dudley: Mum, help! Help me! Petunia: My darling boy! How did you get in there?! Harry: {Grins and giggles} Vernon glares down at him and Harry's grin disappears. Petunia continues screaming: How did you get in there? Dursley, oh, Dursley! Scene: Back at the Dursley's. Petunia and a bundled up Dudley come in. Petunia: It's all right. It's all right. They disappear around the corner. Harry and Vernon enter. Vernon slams the door and shoves Harry against a wall, taking his hair. Harry: Ow! Vernon: What happened? Harry: I swear I don't know! One minute the glass was there and then it was gone! It was like magic! Vernon: {Scoffs and shoves Harry into the closet} There's no such thing as magic! Scene: Outside, some time later. An owl flies by the house and drops a letter, which zooms in the letterbox. It lands away from the house and hoots. Harry, inside, goes to collect the mail. He sorts through the letters and sees his, addressed to him. He goes into the kitchen, hands Vernon the rest of the mail, and walks around the other side of the table to see his letter. Vernon: Ah, Marge is ill. Ate a funny whelk. Dudley: {Sees Harrys letter. He runs and grabs it} Dad, look! Harry's got a letter! Harry: Hey, give it back! It's mine! Vernon: {Laughs} Yours? Who'd be writing to you? The family gathers to look at the address. There is a broken seal on the letter. The family looks up and Harry gulps. Scene: Another owl flies by with a letter and drops it off. Inside, Vernon grabs a handful of letters and rips them up. In the closet, Harry hears a whirring noise. He looks out at Vernon drilling wood over the letterbox opening. Vernon: No more mail through this letterbox. Scene: Outside, Vernon and Petunia appear. Vernon is about to head off to work. Petunia kisses his cheek. Petunia: Have a lovely day at the office, dear. She stops, looks and sees a bunch of owls. Vernon: Shoo! Go on! Scene: Inside. Vernon is tossing letters into the fireplace. Harry comes around the corner. Vernon grins evilly and tosses more in. Scene: Living/Family room. The family is sitting around, Harry is serving cookies. Vernon: Fine day Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley? Dudley shrugs. Harry: {Hands cookie to Vernon} Because there's no post on Sunday? Ah, right you are, Harry. No post on Sunday. Hah! No blasted letters today. No, sir. {Harry sees a shadow outside the window. Outside, millions of owls are perched.} No sir, not one blasted, miserable--- A letter sht out of the fireplace and zips across Vernons face. There is a rumbling and then zillions of letters come shting out of the fireplace. Dudley: AHH! Make it stop! Please make it stop! {He jumps on Petunias lap} Petunia and Vernon: {Screaming} Vernon: Go away, ahh! Dudley: What is it? Please tell me what's happening! Harry jumps onto the coffee table to grab a letter. He gets one and starts to run away. Vernon jumps up as well. Vernon: Give me that! Give me that letter! He chases Harry and grabs him before Harry gets into his closet. Harry: Get off! Ahh! Vernon: Ahh! Harry: They're my letters! Let go of me! Vernon: That's it! We're going away! Far away! Where they can't find us! Dudley: Daddy's gone mad, hasnt he?! Scene: A house, on a rock island somewhere out at sea. The family is sleeping, with Harry on the cold, dirt floor. He has drawn a birthday cake which reads, Happy Birthday Harry. Harry looks at Dudley's watch, which beeps 12:00. Harry: Make a wish, Harry. {Blows} Suddenly, the door thumps. Harry jumps. The door thumps again and Dudley and Harry jump up and back away. Petunia and Vernon appear, Vernon with a gn. The door bangs again and then cracks open, and a giant man appears. Vernon: Who's there? Ahh! Hagrid: Sorry 'bout that. {He puts the door back up} Vernon: I demand that you leave at once, Sir! You are breaking and entering! Petunia: Ooh. Hagrid comes over, grabs the gn and bends it upwards. Hagrid: Dry up, Dursley, you great prune. {The gn fires} All: Ahh! Hagrid: {sees Dudley} Mind, I haven't seen you since you was a baby, Harry, but you're a bit more along than I would have expected. Particularly 'round the middle! Dudley: I-I-I'm not Harry. Harry appears: I-I am. Hagrid: Oh, well, of course you are! Got something for ya. 'Fraid I might have sat on it at some point! I imagine that it'll taste fine just the same. Ahh. Baked it myself. {Hands Harry the cake} Words and all. Heh. Harry: Thank you! {Opens cake, which reads: Happee Birdae Harry.} Hagrid: It's not every day that your young man turns eleven, now is it? Hagrid sits down on the couch, takes out an umbrella and points it at the empty fre. Poof, poof! Two sparks fly out and the fre starts. The family gapes. Harry: {puts cake down} Excuse me, who are you? Hagrid: Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of keys and grounds at Hogwarts. Course, you'll know all about Hogwarts. Harry: Sorry, no. Hagrid: No? Blimey, Harry, didn't you ever wonder where your mum and dad learned it all? Harry: Learnt what? Hagrid: You're a wizard, Harry. Harry: I-I'm a what? Harry: A wizard. And a thumping good one at that, I'd wager. Once you train up a little. Harry: No, you've made a mistake. I can't be...a-a wizard. I mean, I'm just... Harry. Just Harry. Hagrid: Well, Just Harry, did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain when you were angry or scared? {Harry softens his expression} Ah. Dudley: {whimpers} Hagrid hands Harry the same letter that has been sent the past while. Harry opens it. Harry: Dear, Mr. Potter. We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Vernon: Hell not be going! We swore when we took him in wed put an end to this rubbish! Harry: You knew? You knew all along and you never told me? Petunia: Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being who she was. Oh, my mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. We have a witch in the family. Isn't it wonderful? I was the only one to see her for what she was. A freak! And then she met that Potter, and then she had you, and I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as ... abnormal. And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up! And we got landed with you. Harry: Blown up? You told me my parents died in a car crash! Hagrid: A car crash? A car crash kll James and Lily Potter? Petunia: We had to tell him something. Hagrid: It's an outrage! It's a scandal! Vernon: He'll not be going! Hagrid: Oh, and I suppose a great Muggle like yourself's going to stop him, are you? Harry: Muggle? Hagrid: Non magic folk. This boy's had his name down ever since he was born! He's going to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world, and he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts' has ever seen: Albus Dumbledore. Vernon: I will not pay for some crackpot old fool to teach him magic tricks! Hagrid: {whips out umbrella and points it at Vernon} Never insult Albus Dumbledore in front of me. Hagrid sees Dudley eating Harry's cake, and points the umbrella at his rear. A grey tail grows. Dudley: Ahh! All: Ahh! {family chases Dudley} Harry: {laughs} Hagrid: Oh, um, I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anyone at Hogwarts about that. Strictly speaking, I'm not allowed to do magic. Harry: {Nods} Okay. Hagrid: {checks a clock} Ooh, we're a bit behind schedule. Best be off. Unless you'd rather stay, of course. Hmm? {Leaves} Harry grins, looks back, and grins again. Scene: Streets of London. Hagrid and Harry are walking. Harry: All students must be equipped with...one standard size two pewter cauldron and may bring if they desire either an owl, a cat or a toad. Can we find all this in London? Hagrid: If you know where to go. They go to a corner store and enter, The Leaky Cauldron. {Music and talking} Barkeep Tom: Ah, Hagrid! The usual, I presume? Hagrid: No thanks, Tom. I'm on official Hogwarts business today. Just helping young Harry here buy his school supplies. Tom: Bless my soul. It's Harry Potter. The pub goes silent. A man comes up and shakes Harrys hand. Man: Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back. A witch comes up and shakes Harrys hand, as well. Witch: Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter. I can't believe I'm meeting you at last. A man in robes with a turban on his head appears. It is PROFESSOR QUIRRELL. Quirrell: Harry P-potter. C-can't tell you how pleased I am to meet you. Hagrid: Hello, Professor. I didn't see you there. Harry, this is Professor Quirrell. He'll be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Harry: Oh, nice to meet you. {Puts out hand. Quirrell refuses} Quirrell: F-fearfully fascinating subject. N-not that you need it, e-eh, Potter? Heheh. Hagrid: Yes, well, must be going now. Lots to buy. Heh. Harry: Good-bye. The two leave into a back room winery in front of a brick wall. Hagrid: See, Harry, you're famous! Harry: But why am I famous, Hagrid? All those people back there, how is it they know who I am? Hagrid: I'm not exactly sure I'm the right person to tell you that, Harry. {Taps the brick wall clockwise with his umbrella. The blocks shift and open up to reveal a hidden, busy street.} Welcome, Harry, to Diagon Alley. Harry grins broadly as they step into the street and walk down it. An owl screeches. Hagrid: Here's where you'll get your quills and ink, and over there all your bits and bobs for doing your wizardry. Harry is amazed as they pass by shops and owls and bats. The camera pans on a broom store, where a group of boys are crowded around a shiny broom. Boy: It's a world class racing broom. Look at it, its the new Nimbus 2000! It's the fastest model yet. Harry: But, Hagrid, how am I to pay for all this? I haven't any money. Hagrid: Well there's your money, Harry. Gringotts, the Wizard Bank. T'aint no place safer, 'cept perhaps Hogwarts. Inside the bank, they walk down the shiny aisle, passing tiny creatures working. Harry: Uh, Hagrid, what exactly are those things? Hagrid: They're goblins, Harry. Clever as they come goblins but not the most friendly of beasts. Best stick close to me. {Harry sticks to him.} {Hagrid clears his throat as they approach a counter with a goblin in it.} Mr. Harry Potter wishes to make a withdrawal. The goblin looks up. Goblin: And does Mr. Harry Potter have his key? Hagrid: Oh. Wait a minute. Got it here somewhere. Hah. Here's the little devil. Oh, and there's something else as well. Professor Dumbledore gave me this. It's about you-know-what in vault you-know-which. {Hands Goblin letter wrapped in string.} Goblin: Very well. Scene: Racing down the depth caverns in a cartlike structure. The cart stops, a goblin, GRIPHOOK, clambers out. Griphook: Vault 687. Lamp, please. {Hagrid hands him the lamp and he walks to the vault} Key please. {Hagrid hands him the key and he unlocks it} The room is filled nearly top to bottom with coins. Harry is amazed. Hagrid: Didn't think your mum and dad would leave you with nothing, now didja? They continue on through the cavern. Griphook: Vault 713. Harry: What's in there, Hagrid? Hagrid: Can't tell you, Harry. It's Hogwarts business. Very secret. Griphook: Stand back. {Slides finger down the door. Clank. Clank. The vault opens to expose a small white stone package. Hagrid hurries in and scoops it up. The eerie light it was shining with disappears.} Hagrid: Best not mention this to anyone, Harry. Harry nods. Scene: Outside in the street, walking. Harry: I still need...a wand. Hagrid: A wand? Well, you'll want Ollivanders. No place better. Run along there, but wait. I just got one more thing I got to do. Won't be long. Harry goes into the store, quietly. He looks around. There are shelves of wands, but no people. Harry: {Softly} Hello? Hello? There is a thunk. A man appears on a ladder and looks at Harry. He smiles. Ollivander: I wondered when I'd be seeing you, Mr. Potter. It seems only yesterday that your mother and father were in here buying their first wands. {Picks a wand} Ah. Here we are. {Harry holds it but just stands} Well, give it a wave. Harry: Oh! {waves. All the shelves come crashing down. Harry jumps and hurriedly puts the wand back on the counter.} Ollivander: Apparently not. {Gets another wand.} Perhaps this. {Harry waves at a vase, which blows apart.} No, no, definitely not! No matter...{gets a wand} I wonder. {Hands wand to Harry. Harry glows under it.} Curious, very curious. Harry: Sorry, but what's curious? Ollivander: I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It just so happens that the phoenix, whose tail feather resides in your wand gave one other feather, just one. It is curious that you should be destined for this wand when its brother gave you that scar. {Points to scar} Harry: And...who owned that wand? Ollivander: Oh, we do not speak his name. The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why, but I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things...terrible, yes, but great. {Hands Harry his wand.} There is a knock on the window. Hagrid: Harry! Harry! Happy birthday! {Has a snowy owl in a cage which hoots.} Harry: Wow. Scene: Later, eating supper. The two, Hagrid and Harry, are at a long table, eating soup. Hagrid: You all right, Harry? You seem very quiet. Harry: He klled my parents, didn't he? The one who gave me this. You know, Hagrid, I know you do. Hagrid: {Sighs and pushes bowl away} First, and understand this, Harry, 'cause it's very important. Not all wizards are good. Some of them go bad. A few years ago there was one wizard who went as bad as you can go. And his name was V-...his name was V-... Harry: Maybe if you wrote it down? Hagrid: No, I can't spell it. All right. His name was Voldemort. Harry: Voldemort? Hagrid: Shh! {Harry looks around} A flashback ensues, consisting off a cloaked man walking towards a house, breaking in with his wand, and proceeding to terrorize. Hagrid narrates. Hagrid: It was dark times, Harry, dark times. Voldemort started to gather some followers, brought 'em over to the dark side. Anyone that stood up to him ended up dad. Your parents fought against him, but nobody lived once he decided to kll 'em. {Harrys mother, LILY, screams as she is klled by Voldemorts wand} Nobody...not one. Except you. {close-up of baby Harry.} Harry: Me? Voldemort tried to kll...me? Hagrid: Yes. That ain't no ordinary cut on your forehead, Harry. A mark like that only comes from being touched by a curse...and an evil curse at that. Harry: What happened to Vo-...to You-Know-Who? Hagrid: Some say he died. Codswallop in my opinion. Nope, I reckon he's out there, still, too tired to go on. But one thing's absolutely certain. Something about you stumped him that night. That's why you're famous, Harry. That's why everbody knows your name. You're the boy who lived. Scene: London Train Station. Up on a crossing bridge, Harry (with cart and owl) walk beside Hagrid. A couple look at Hagrid. Hagrid: What're you looking at? {Looks at watch} Blimey, is that the time? Sorry, Harry, I'm gonna have to leave you. Dumbledore'll be wanting his...well, he'll be wanting to see me. Now, uh, your train leaves in 10 minutes. Here's your ticket. Stick to it, Harry that's very important. Stick to your ticket. Harry looks at his golden ticket. Harry: Platform 9 ¾? But Hagrid, there must be a mistake. This says Platform 9 ¾. There's no such thing...is there? {Harry looks up and Hagrid has vanished.} Scene: Harry is walking down lane between trains. A man rushes by. Man: Sorry. Harry sees a train master. Harry: Excuse me, excuse me. Trainmaster: {talking to woman and child} Right on your left, ma'am. Harry: Excuse me, Sir. Can you tell me where I might find Platform 9 ¾? Trainmaster: 9 ¾? Think youre being funny, do ya? {Leaves} A woman, daughter, and four boys walk by, pushing carts. Mrs. Weasley: It's the same year after year. Always packed with Muggles, of course. Harry: Muggles? Mrs. Weasley: Come on. Platform 9 ¾ this way! All right, Percy, you first. A tall boy with red hair comes forward and runs towards a brick wall. Amazingly, he disappears right into it. Harry is amazed. Mrs. Weasley: Fred, you next. George: He's not Fred, I am! Fred: Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother! Mrs. Weasley: Oh, I'm sorry, George. Fred: I'm only joking. I am Fred. {He runs through the wall, and is followed by his twin brother.} Harry shakes his head in disbelief. Harry: Excuse me! C-could you tell me how to Mrs. Weasley: How to get on the platform? Yes, not to worry, dear. It's Ron's first time to Hogwarts as well. {pan to a red haired boy who smiles} Now, all you've got to do is walk straight at the wall between platforms 9 and 10. Best do it at a bit of a run if youre nervous. Ginny (daughter): Good luck. Harry takes a breath and runs at the wall. He shuts his eyes and emerges on the other side a magnificent station with a red train and bundles of people. A whistle blows, and Harry sighs with relief. Scene: The train is traveling through unknown country. Pan to inside compartment, where Harry is sitting. The red headed boy, RON, appears, dirt on his nose. Ron: Excuse me, do you mind? Everywhere else is full. Harry: No, not at all. Ron: {sits across from Harry} I'm Ron, by the way. Ron Weasley. Harry: I'm Harry. Harry Potter. {Ron goes agape.} Ron: So-so it's true?! I mean, do you really have the...the... Harry: The what? Ron: {whispers} Scar...? Harry: Oh, yeah. {lifts up hair} Ron: Wicked. A trolley comes by the compartment, full of sweets. Woman: Anything off the trolley, dears? Ron: {Holds up mushed sandwiches} No, thanks, I'm all set. {smacks lips.} Harry: {pulls out coins} We'll take the lot! Ron: Whoa! Scene: Eating bundles of sweets. Ron's rat, Scabbers, is perched on Ron's knee, a box over its head. Harry: Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans? Ron: They mean every flavour! There's chocolate and peppermint, and there's also spinach, liver and tripe. George sweared he got a bogey-flavoured one once! Harry quickly takes the bean he was chewing out of his mouth. Harry: {picks up blue and gold package} These aren't real chocolate frogs, are they? Ron: It's only a spell. Besides, it's the cards you want. Each pack's got a famous witch or wizard. I got about 500 meself. Frog: Ribbit. {The frog jumps onto the window and climbs up, then leaps out the window...disappearing.} Ron: Oh, that's rotten luck. They've only got one good jump in them to begin with. Harry: Hey, I got Dumbledore! Ron: I got about 6 of him. Harry: Hey, he's gone! Ron: Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day, can you? {Scabbers squeaks} This is Scabbers, by the way, pitiful, isn't he? Harry: Just a little bit. Ron: Fred gave me a spell as to turn him yellow. Want to see? Harry: Yeah! Ron: {clears throat} Ahem. Sun- A girl, HERMIONE GRANGER, with bushy brown hair appears at the doorway. Hermione: Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one. Ron: No. Hermione: Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see then. Ron: Aghhhemm. Sunshine, daises, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow! {Zap. Nothing happens. Ron shrugs.} Hermione: Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it? Of course I've only tried a few simple spells myself, and they've all worked for me. For example...{Hermione goes over and sits across from Harry. He points her hand at his glasses and Harry tenses} Oculus Reparo. {The glasses, which noseband is battered, are repaired. Harry takes them off, amazed.} That's better, isn't it? Holy Cricket, you're Harry Potter. I'm Hermione Granger...and you are...? Ron: {full mouth} I'm...Ron Weasley. Hermione: Pleasure. You two better change into your robes. I expect we'll be arriving soon. {Gets up and leaves, then comes back and looks at Ron.} You've got dirt, on your nose, by the way, did you know? Just there. {Points} {Ron scratches his nose, embarrassed.} Scene: Darkness, the train blows its whistle and pulls into an outdoor station. Hagrid walks along the side aisle, with a lantern. People begin pouring out of the train. Hagrid: Right, then! First years! This way, please! Come on, now, don't be shy! Come on now, hurry up! Harry and Ron walk up to Hagrid. Hagrid: Hello, Harry. Harry: Hey, Hagrid. Ron: Whoaa! Hagrid: Right then. This way to the boats! Come on, now, follow me. Scene: A number of boats are plugging across a vast lake, where up ahead a huge castle can be seen. People are in awe. Ron: Wicked. Scene: On a higher level, Professor McGonagall is waiting. She raps her fingers on a stone railing, and then goes to the top of the stairs to greet the newcomers. McGonagall: Welcome to Hogwarts. Now, in a few moments, you will pass through these doors and join your classmates. But before you can take your seats you must be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Now, while you are here, your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you house points. Any rule breaking, and you will lose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, a scared looking boy, spots his toad sitting near McGonagall. He jumps forward. Neville: Trevor! {McGonagall stares down at him} Sorry. {He backs away.} McGonagall: The sorting ceremony will begin momentarily. {leaves} DRACO MALFOY, a slicked back evil looking boy speaks up. Draco: It's true then, what they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. {Students whisper, Harry Potter?} This is Crabbe, and Goyle {nods to thugs} and I'm Malfoy...Draco Malfoy. {Ron snickers at his name} Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask yours. Red hair, and a hand me down robe? You must be a Weasley. Well soon find that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. Dont want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there. {extends hand.} Harry: I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks. Draco glares. McGonagall returns and smacks him on the shoulder with a paper. He retreats with one last glare. McGonagall: We're ready for you now. She leads everyone through two large doors and into the Great Hall, where there are four long tables with many kids, as well as floating candles. The roof appears to be the sky. Hermione: It's not real, the ceiling. It's just bewitched to look like the night sky. I read about it in Hogwarts: A History. McGonagall: All right, will you wait along here, please? Now, before we begin, Professor Dumbldedore would like to say a few words. Dumbledore rises from the main table. Dumbledore: I have a few start of term notices I wish to announce. The first years please note that the dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch {signals to ragged old man with a cat with red eyes} has asked me to remind you that the 3rd floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you. McGonagall: When I call your name, you will come forth, I shall place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses. Hermione Granger. Hermione: Oh, no. Okay, relax. {She goes up} Ron: Mental that one, I'm telling you. Harry nods in agreement. Sorting Hat: Ah, right then...hmm...right. Okay...Gryffindor! (Cheering) Hermione jumps off with a smile. McGonagall: Draco Malfoy. Draco saunters up proudly. The tattered hat nearly freaks before touching down on Dracos head. Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN! Ron: There isn't a witch or wizard who went bad who wasnt in Slytherin. McGonagall: Susan Bones. A small, redhead goes up. Harry looks around and spots a black haired, pale teacher, SEVERUS SNAPE, looking at him. His scar hurts. Harry: Ahh! {puts hand on forehead} Ron: Harry, what is it? Harry: Nothing...it's nothing, I'm fine. Sorting Hat: Let's see...I know...Hufflepuff! McGonagall: Ronald Weasley. Ron gulps and walks up. He sits down and the hat is put on. Sorting Hat: Ah! Another Weasley. I know just where to put you...Gryffindor! Ron: {Sighs} (Cheering) McGonagall: Harry Potter. Everything goes silent. Harry walks up and sits down. Sorting Hat: Hmm...difficult, very difficult. Plenty of courage I see, not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes, and a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you? Harry: {whispers} Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin. Sorting Hat: Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know. Its all here in your head. And Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness! There's no doubt about that! No? {Harry whispers: Not Slytherin...anything but Slytherin} Well, if youre sure...better be...GRYFFINDOR! There is an immense cheering and Harry goes to the Gryffindor table. Fred and George are also there, and cheer: We got Potter! We got Potter! Harry sits down. McGonagall: {dings on a cup} Your attention, please. Dumbledore: Let the feast...begin. Food magically appears on all the tables, and the hall is filled with awe and chatter. Harry: Wow. Draco looks at all the food, raises his eyebrows and digs in. Ron stuffs his face. SEAMUS FINNIGAN, a tiny boy, speaks. Seamus: I'm half and half. Me dad's a Muggle. Mam's a witch. Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out. Neville laughs. Harry is sitting next to Percy. He leans over. Harry: Say, Percy, who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell? Percy: Oh, that's Professor Snape, head of Slytherin house. Harry: What's he teach? Percy: Potions. But everyone knows it's the Dark Arts he fancies. He's been after Quirrells job for years. Ron, having just finished a chicken wing, reaches into the bowl for more, and a ghostly head, SIR NICHOLAS, pops out. Ron: Ahh! Nick: Hello! How are you? Welcome to Gryffindor. Numerous ghosts come pouring from the walls, sailing along. Hufflepuff ghost: Whoo-hoo-hoo! Girl: Look, its the Bloody Baron! Percy: Hello, Sir Nicholas. Have a nice summer? Nick: Dismal. Once again, my request to join the headless hunt has been denied. {Begins to leave} Ron: Hey, I know you! You're Nearly Headless Nick! Nick: I prefer Sir Nicholas if you don't mind. Hermione: Nearly headless? How can you be nearly headless? Nick: Like this. {Grabs head and pulls it to the side. His head is hanging on just by a thread.} Ron: Ahh! Hermione: Eugh. Scene: Percy is leading the Gryffindors to the staircases. Percy: Gryffindors, follow me please. Keep up. Thank you. Boy: Ravenclaw, follow me. This way. Percy: This is the most direct path to the dormitories. Oh, and keep an eye on the staircases...they like to change. The camera pans up and we see a vast amount of staircases, people walking on them, and some switching places. Percy: Keep up, please, and follow me. Quickly now, come on. Come on. {They begin walking up the stairs} Neville: Seamus, that picture's moving! Ron: Look at that one, Harry! Harry: I think she fancies you. Girl: Oh, look! Look! Who's that girl? Man in painting: Welcome to Hogwarts. Girl: Who's that? Scene: Approaching the Gryffindor dorms. They come up to a large painting of a large woman in a pink dress. Woman: Password? Percy: Caput Draconis. {The woman nods and the painting opens to reveal a gape in the wall.} Follow me, everyone. Keep up, quickly, come on. Girl: Oh, wow. Percy: {Inside common room} Gather 'round here. Welcome to the Gryffindor Common Room. Boys' dormitories, upstairs and down to your left. Girls, the same on your right. You'll find that your belongings have already been brought up. Scene: Mid-night. Harry is sitting by a window in his pj's, with his owl, Hedwig. He pets the owl and looks out the window, sighing with content. Scene: Morning. Harry and Ron are running through the stone halls to their class. They rush in. In the class, a tabby cat is sitting on a desk. Ron: Whew, amazing, can you imagine the look on old McGonagall's face if we were late? The cat jumps off the desk and turns into Professor McGonagall. The two boys are amazed. Ron: That was bloody brilliant. McGonagall: Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Weasley. Maybe if I were to transfigure Mr. Potter and yourself into a pocketwatch, maybe one of you would be on time. Harry: We got lost. McGonagall: Then perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find your seats. Scene: Snape's potions class. The students are chattering, sitting near steaming cauldrons. The door slams open and Snape comes rushing in. Snape: There will be no foolish wand waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to enjoy the subtle science and exact art that is potion making. However, for those select few {looks at Draco, who smiles}, who possess the predisposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper {Draco looks on} in death. {Draco raises his eyebrows.} {Snape sees Harry, writing this down, in, his view, not paying attention.} Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confidant enough to not...pay...attention. Hermione nudges Harry in the ribs. He looks up. Snape: Mr. Potter. Our...new...celebrity. Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? {Hermione's hand skyrockets. Harry shrugs.} You don't know? Well, let's try again. Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar? {Hermione's hand sht up again.} Harry: I don't know, Sir. Snape: And what is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfbane? Harry: I don't know, Sir. Snape: Pity. Clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter? Scene: In the great hall, probably midday. The students are all working on homework. Seamus is trying a spell on a cup. Seamus: Eye of rabbit, harp string hum. Turn this water, into rum. {Looks in cup and shakes head.} Eye of rabbit, harp string hum... Harry: What's Seamus trying to do to that glass of water? Ron: Turn it into rum. Actually managed a weak tea yesterday, before... ZAPOOF! The cup explodes. There is laughter amongst the students. Suddenly, a flock of owls start coming into the hall from the rafters above. Ron: Ah. Mail's here! The owls soar by, dropping parcels to students. Harry gets nothing. He sees the newspaper Ron has put down. Harry: Can I borrow this? {Ron nods} Thanks. Neville is unwrapping a gift. It is a clear ball with gold around it. Seamus: Hey, look! Neville's got a Remembrall! Hermione: I've read about those. When the smoke turns red {the smoke turns red}, it means you've forgotten something. Neville: The only problem is, I can't remember what I've forgotten. Harry: Hey, Ron, somebody broke into Gringotts. Listen, Believed to be the work of dark witches or wizards unknown, Gringotts goblins, while acknowledging the breach, insist that nothing was taken. The vault in question, number 713, had in fact been emptied earlier that same day. That's odd. That's the vault Hagrid and I went to. Scene: Outside, flying practice. The students, Gryffindor and Slytherin, are lined up in two rows with brooms by their sides. The teacher, MADAM HOOCH, comes down the line. She has short hair and hawk yellow eyes. Hooch: Good afternoon, class. Class: Good afternoon, Madam Hooch. Hooch: Good afternoon, Amanda, good afternoon. {to class} Welcome to your first flying lesson. Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone step up to the left side of their broomstick. Come on now, hurry up. Stick your right hand over the broom and say, Up! Class: Up! Harry's broom flies into his hand. Harry: Whoa. {Hermione stares as the class continues.} Draco: Up! {broomstick flies up and Draco smugly grins.} Hooch: With feeling! Hermione: Up. Up. Up. Up. Ron: Up! {His broom flies up and conks him on the nose} Ow! {Harry laughs} Shut up, Harry. {laughs} Hooch: Now, once you've got hold of your broom, I want you to mount it. And grip it tight, you don't want to be sliding off the end. {Class mounts} When I blow my whistle, I want each of you to kick off from the ground, hard. Keep your broom steady, hover for a moment, and then lean forward slightly and touch back down. On my whistle...3...2...{tweet!} Neville immediately lifts off. He looks quite frightened. Neville: Oh... Hooch: Mr. Longbottom. Girl: Neville, what are you doing? Students: Neville...Neville... Boy: We're not supposed to take off, yet. Hooch: {Neville begins soaring away} M-M-Mr. Longbottom Mr. Longbottom! Neville: AHH! Hooch: Mr. Longbottom! Neville: {soars away} Down! Down! Ahhhh! Harry: Neville! {shouting} Neville: Help! Hooch: Come back down this instant! Neville: AHH! He soars through the sky and hits a wall, conking along it and then swooping off. All the while, he is screaming. He begins to zoom back towards the group of students. Hooch holds out her wand to stop him. Neville: Help! Hooch: Mr. Longbottom! {Neville approaches. The students scatter and Hooch dives out of the way. Neville goes through the scatter and up a tower.} Neville: Ahhhh! Whoa! Ahhh! {zooms past a statue of a man with a sharp spear. Neville's cloak catches on it. He is flipped off the broom and hangs there.} Oh. Ah...help! {He wavers, then the cloak rips, and he falls, catching on a torch, but then slipping out and falling to the ground.} Ahh! Hooch: Everyone out of the way! {She runs through the group, and they scatter.} Come on, get up. Girl: Is he alright? Neville: Owowowow. Hooch: Oh, oh, oh, oh dear. It's a broken wrist. Tch, tch, tch. Good boy, come on now, up you get. {Draco reaches down and grabs Neville's Remembrall, which has fallen. Hooch begins to lead Neville away with her.} Everyone's to keep their feet firmly on the ground while I take Mr. Longbottom to the hospital wing. Understand? If I see a single broom in the air, the one riding it will find themselves out of Hogwarts before they can say, Quidditch. {Exit.} Draco: {snickers} Did you see his face? Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he'd have remembered to fall on his fat ass. {Laughs.} Harry: Give it here, Malfoy. Draco: No. I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find. {hops on broom and soars around group, then through.} How 'bout up on the roof? {soars off and hovers high in the sky.} What's the matter, Potter? Bit beyond your reach? Harry grabs his broom and runs to get on it. Hermione stops him. Hermione: Harry, no! You heard what Madam Hooch said! Besides, you don't even know how to fly. {Harry flies off.} What an idiot. Harry is now in the air, across from Draco. Harry: Give it here, Malfoy, or I'll knock you off your broom! Draco: Is that so? {Harry makes a dash for him, but Draco twirls around his broom in a 360.} Have it your way, then! {He throws the Remembrall into the air.} Harry zooms after the ball, speeding towards a tower. Just as he is about to ht a window, from which McGonagall is working/watching, he catches it, and then heads back to the group. The students all cheer and run to see him. Boy: Good job, Harry! Boy 2: Oh, that was wicked, Harry. McGonagall: {appears quickly} Harry Potter? Follow me. {Harry sullenly follows her. Draco and his gons laugh.} Scene: Professor Quirrells classroom. He is inside, teaching, holding an iguana. Quirrell: An iguana s-such as this is {McGonagall approaches the class and stops Harry: You wait here.} an essential in-gredient McGonagall: Excuse me, excuse me, Professor Quirrell. Could I borrow Wood for a moment? Quirrell: Oh. Y-yes, of course. {a boy, OLIVER WOOD, gets up to leave and Quirrell continues.} And the vampire b-bat...{eerie roar.} McGonagall: Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood, I have found you a Seeker! Scene: Harry and Ron are walking through crowded halls. Sir Nicholas and a lady ghost float by. Nick: Have you heard? Harry Potter's the new Gryffindor Seeker. I always knew hed do well. Ron: Seeker? But first years never make their house teams! You must be the youngest Quidditch player in Harry: A century, according to McGonagall. Fred and George approach and walk along with Ron and Harry. Fred: Hey, well done, Harry, Wood's just told us! Ron: Fred and George are on the team, too. Beaters. George: Our job is to make sure that you don't get bloodied up too bad. Can't make any promises, of course. Rough game, Quidditch. Fred: Brutal. But no one's died in years. Someone will vanish occasionally... {They break off from Harry and Ron, who walk across a courtyard. George: But they'll turn up in a month or two! Ron: Oh, go on, Harry, Quidditch is great. Best game there is! And you'll be great, too! {Hermione jumps up from her work and comes to join them.} Harry: But I've never even played Quidditch. What if I make a fool of myself? Hermione: You won't make a fool of yourself. It's in your blood. Scene: The three approach a trophy case. Hermione points at a plaque of Quidditch players. One lists Harry's father as a Seeker. Ron: Whoa. Harry, you never told me your father was a Seeker, too. Harry: I-I didn't know. Scene: The three are walking up a staircase. A railing pulls in...Hermione looks, but continues walking. Ron: I'm telling you, it's spooky. She knows more about you than you do. Harry: Who doesn't? The staircase shudders and begins to move. The three grab the railings. Ron: Ahh! Hermione: {Gasps.} Harry: What's happening? Hermione: The staircases change, remember? {The staircase stops, in a new place.} Harry: {taps Ron} Let's go this way. Ron: Before the staircase moves again. {They all open a door and walk into a spooky, dark room.} Harry: Does anyone feel like...we shouldn't be here? Hermione: We're not supposed to be here. This is the 3rd floor. It's forbidden. Suddenly, a flame lights on a tall stone support. At that moment, the caretaker's cat, MRS. NORRIS, comes running in and meows. The group jumps. Harry: Let's go. {meow} Ron: It's Filch's cat! Harry: Run! The group runs. Flames are lit as they go. They get to the end of the corridor, to a door. Harry grabs the handle, but it's locked. Harry: It's locked! Ron: That's it, we're done for! Hermione: Oh, move over! {pushes through and pulls out wand} hm. {The door opens.} Get in. {They bustle in.} Ron: hm? Hermione: Standard book of spells, Chapter 7. Filch appears at the start of the corridor with a light. Mrs. Norris looks at him. Filch: Anyone here, my sweet? {meow} Come on. {exit.} Hermione: Filch is gone. Ron: Probably thinks this door's locked. Hermione: It was locked. Harry: And for good reason. {Ron and Hermione turn to stand with Harry. There is a massively huge three headed dog sleeping in front of them. The dog, FLUFFY, begins to wake. It growls, yawns, and growls more...noticing the intruders.} All: AHHHHHHH! {The three bolt, running out of the door. They turn quickly to shut the door and battle against the dog. They get the door shut and run.} Scene: Back in the Gryffindor room. They are breathless. Ron: What do they think they're doing? Keeping a thing like that locked up in a school. Hermione: You don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't you see what it was standing on? Ron: I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads. Or maybe you didn't notice, there were three! {they begin to climb the stairs to the dorms.} Hermione: It was standing on a trap door. Which means it wasn't there by accident. It's guarding something. Harry: Guarding something? Hermione: That's right. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us klled...or worse, expelled! {turns and leaves, shutting the door to her dorms.} Ron: She needs to sort out her priorities! Harry nods. Scene: Outside, day time. Oliver and Harry appear, carrying a trunk. They put it down. Oliver: Quidditch is easy enough to understand. Each time has seven players, 3 chasers, 2 beaters, 1 keeper and a seeker that's you. There are three kinds of balls. {picks up a red one} This one's called the Quaffle. Now, the chasers handle the Quaffle and try to put it through one of those three hoops. {Points to a faraway Quidditch pitch.} The keeper, that's me, defends the hoops. {throws ball to Harry.} With me so far? Harry: {throws back} I think so. What are those? {points to two squirming chained down balls.} Oliver: ...You better take this. {hands Harry a small bat. He bends down and releases one ball. With an angry growl, it flies off into the air. The two boys watch it.} Careful now, it's comin' back. {The balls comes whizzing down, and Harry cracks at it with the bat. The ball soars off through a statue.} Eh, not bad, Potter, you'd make a fair beater...Uh-oh. {The ball zooms down, and Oliver grabs it, wriggling to get it back in the box. He succeeds and is out of breath.} Bludger. Nasty little buggers. But the only ball I want you to worry about is this...the Golden Snitch. {hands Harry a walnut sized golden ball.} Harry: I like this ball. Oliver: Ah, you like it now. Just wait. It's wicked fast and damn near impossible to see. Harry: What do I do with it? Oliver: You catch it...before the other team's seeker. You catch this, the game is over. You catch this, Potter, and we win. {The ball flutters out two delicate wings and jumps into the air. Harry keeps an eye on it.} Harry: Whoa. Scene: PROFESSOR FLITWICK's class. The teacher is very short, and is standing on a bunch of books. Flitwick: One of a wizard's most rudimentary skills is levitation the ability to make objects fly. Uh, do you all have your feathers? {Hermione raises hers.} Good. Now, uh, don't forget the nice wrist movement we've been practicing, hmm? The swish and flick. Everyone. {All} The swish and flick. Good. And enunciate. Wingardium Leviosa. Off you go then. Draco: Wingardium Levio-saaa. {All practice.} Ron: Wingardrium Leviosar. {whacks with wand numerous times.} Hermione: Stop, stop, stop. You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, youre saying it wrong. It's Leviosa, not Leviosar. Ron: You do it then if you're so clever. Go on, go on. Hermione straightens up and swishes her wand. Hermione: {crisply} Wingardium Leviosa. {The feather glows and lifts up. Ron puts his head on his books dejectedly.} Flitwick: Oh, well done! See here, everyone! Ms. Granger's done it! Oh, splendid! Seamus begins swishing at his feather. Seamus: Wingard Levosa. Wingard Levosa. {Flitwick to Hermione: Well done, dear.} BOOOM! Seamus' feather explodes. Flitwick gasps. Flitwick: Whooaaa! Ooh. Harry: I think we're going to need another feather over here, Professor. Scene: Neville, Harry, Ron and Seamus are walking through a courtyard with other students all around. Ron: It's Leviosa, not Leviosar. Honestly, she's a nightmare. No wonder she hasn't got any friends! Hermione bustles past, sniffling. Harry: I think she heard you. Scene: Night, in the great hall. It is Halloween. Everyone is eating candy, and Jack O'Lanterns are keeping the place lit. There is chatter. Harry: Where's Hermione? Neville: Parvati Patil said that she wouldn't come out of the girl's bathroom. She said that she'd been in there all afternoon...crying. {Ron and Harry exchange glances. Suddenly, Professor Quirrell comes flying into the room, screaming.} Quirrell: TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON! T-TROOLLL IN THE DUNGEON! {stops and there is utter silence.} Thought you ought to know. {falls over in a dad faint.} The room is silent, and then everyone freaks, screaming and running. Dumbledore: SILLLLLEEENNNNCEEEEE! {Everyone stops.} Everyone will please, not panic. Now, Prefects will lead their houses back to the dormitories. Teachers will follow me to the dungeons. Girl: Hufflepuff, this way! Boy: Stay together! Snape looks aghast, and he disappears through a doorway. Scene: Percy is leading the house down a hall. Percy: Gryffindors...keep up please. And stay alert! Harry: How could a troll get in? Ron: Not by itself. Trolls are really stupid. Probably people playing jokes. {Suddenly, Harry stops and pulls Ron aside.} What? Harry: Hermione! She doesn't know! The two run off, down corridors. They start running down a hall when they stop, because there is a grunting noise. Harry pulls Ron into a doorway and a large, ugly TROLL thunks by into a room. Harry: He's going into the Girl's Bathroom! Scene: In the bathroom, Hermione emerges from a stall, wiping her eyes. She stops when she sees something. The troll is standing there. Hermione backs up, into the stall just as the troll raises its club and smashes the top part of the stalls. Hermione screams. Harry and Ron come bursting in. Harry: Hermione, move! The troll smashes the remaining stalls. Hermione: Help! Help! {The boys start throwing wood pieces at the troll.} Ron: Hey, pea brain! {Ron throws wood and hits the troll on the head. Hermione escapes from the stalls to under a sink, but the troll sees her and goes to smash her. It cracks the sink and barely misses Hermione. Harry cringes.} Hermione: Ahhh! Help! Harry gets out his wand. He runs forward and grabs the troll's club, and is lifted up. Harry: Whooa! Whoa, whoa! {He lands on the troll's head, and is hurled forward, then back, and his wand goes up the troll's nose.} Ron: Ew. The troll snorts, and whips around. Harry: Whoa, whoa whoa! The troll gets Harry off its head and is holding him by one leg, upside down. It gears up its club and swipes at Harry. He pulls himself up, then down. The troll swipes again. Harry: Do something! {swipe} Ron: What? {swipe} Harry: Anything! Hurry up! Ron grabs his wand. Under the sink, Hermione waves her hand. Hermione: Swish and flick! Ron: Wingardium Leviosa! {flick. The club is lifted out of the troll's hand and hovers above its head. The troll looks up, confused, just as the club comes crashing back down. (Ron: Cool.) It hits the troll's head and the troll wavers, then drops Harry, who crawls away, and comes crashing down, hard. Hermione approaches carefully. Hermione: Is it...dad? Harry: I don't think so. Just knocked out. {He grabs his wand...which is covered in goo.} Ew. Troll bogies. Suddenly, McGonagall, Snape and Quirrell come rushing in. They all gasp. McGonagall: Oh! Oh, my goodness! E-Explain yourselves, both of you! Ron and Harry: Well, what it is... Hermione: It's my fault, Professor McGonagall. {The teachers, and Ron and Harry, gape} McGonagall: Ms. Granger? Hermione: I went looking for the troll. I'd read about them and thought I could handle it. But I was wrong. If Harry and Ron hadn't come and found me...I'd probably be dad. McGonagall: Be that as it may...it was an extremely foolish thing to do. {Harry looks at Snape's leg...which has a large cut on it. Snape notices and covers it up, glaring at Harry.} I would have expected more rational behaviour on your part, Ms. Granger. 5 points will be taken from Gryffindor for your serious lack of judgment. As for you two gentlemen I just hope you realize how fortunate you are. Not many students could take on a full grown mountain troll and live to tell the tale. 5 points...will be awarded to each of you. For sheer dumb luck. {Snape and McGonagall exit.} Quirrell: Perhaps you ought to go...M-might wake up...heh. {Exit Ron and Harry and Hermione.} {Troll roars.} Ahh! Hehe... Scene: The next morning, in the great hall. The gng is sitting, eating. Harry is twirling his food on a fork. Ron: Take a bit of toast, mate, go on. Hermione: Ron's right, Harry. You're gonna need your strength today. Harry: I'm not hungry. Snape appears. Snape: Good luck today, Potter. Then again, now that you've proven yourself against a troll, a little game of Quidditch should be easy work for you...even if it is against Slytherin. {Leaves, limping.} Harry: That explains the blood. Hermione: Blood? Harry: Listen, last night, I'm guessing Snape let the troll in as a diversion so he could try and get past that 3 headed dog. But, he got himself bitten, that's why he's limping. Hermione: But why would anyone go near that dog? Harry: The day I was at Gringotts, Hagrid took something out of one of the vaults. He said it was Hogwarts' business, very secret. Hermione: So you're saying... Harry: That's what the dog's guarding. That's what Snape wants. {An owl screeches. It is Hedwig. She is carrying a very large, long parcel. She drops it off.} Hermione: Bit early for mail, isn't it? Harry: But I-I never get mail. Ron: Let's open it. {They open it.} Harry: It's a broomstick! Ron: Thats not just any broomstick, Harry. It's a Nimbus 2000! Harry: But who...? {He sees Professor McGonagall up at the head table, stroking Hedwig. She smiles and Harry nods.} Scene: Inside a Quidditch tower. The Gryffindor team is marching towards the starting gate. They reach it and stop, behind a closed double door. OIiver: Scared, Harry? Harry: A little bit. Oliver: That's all right. I felt the same way before my first game. Harry: What happened? Oliver: Er, I don't really remember. I took a bludger to the head 2 minutes in. Woke up in the hospital a week later. Harry gulps and looks straight ahead as the doors open. They mount their brooms and zoom out onto the enormous pitch. There is cheering. The commentator, LEE JORDAN, is talking from a tower. Lee: Hello, and welcome to Hogwarts' first Quidditch game of the season! Today's game Slytherin versus Gryffindor! {Cheering. Close-up of Gryffindor students. They are cheering. Neville: Gryffindor!} The players take their positions in the air in a circle. Harry weaves in, highest amongst. He looks down. Lee: The players take their positions as Madam Hooch steps out onto the field to begin the game. Hooch: Now, I want a nice clean game...from all of you. {looks at Slytherin. She kicks the trunk, and the bludgers zoom out.} Lee: The bludgers are up...followed by the Golden Snitch. Remember, the snitch is worth 150 points. The seeker who catches the Snitch ends the game. The snitch zooms around each Seeker's head, then disappears. Hooch grabs the Quaffle. Lee: The Quaffle is released...and the game begins! Gryffindor takes possession of the ball and a chaser, ANGELINA JOHNSON, zooms past Slytherins towards their goal, and throws the ball, and scores! There is a ding. Lee: Angelina Johnson scores! 10 points for Gryffindor! {He presses a button and a 10 shows up beside a plaque with Gryffindors name.} Harry, in the air, claps. Harry: Yes! {a bludger zooms by him.} Whoa! In the stands, Gryffindor cheers. Hagrid: Well done! Lee: Slytherin takes possession of the Quaffle. Bletchley passes to Captain Marcus Flint. Flint dodges people and throws for the Gryffindor hoops. Oliver appears and whacks the ball away with his broom. He smirks at Flint, who glares. Johnson and KATIE BELL pass the Quaffle back and forth as they strategize to score. Johnson takes it, throws, and once again scores! Ron and Seamus: Yay! Harry: Yes! Lee: Another 10 points to Gryffindor! {ding.} Gryffindors: Yay! The Slytherins decide to get messy. They dodge, kick, and try to score. Once again, Oliver blocks. Flint: Give me that! {he grabs a beaters bat from one and whacks a bludger right at Oliver. It hits Oliver in the stomach and he falls to the ground.} Crowd: {Booing} Harry is visibly upset. Slytherin laughs. The Slytherin members head off. One jumps over George (or Fred) and scores. Harry is upset again. Slytherin cheers. Flint: {to other members} Take that side! They box Johnson in and sent her into the capes covering one of the towers. She falls down in and is out. The crowd boos. Slytherin scores once again. Suddenly, Harry sees the Snitch. He starts to head off after it and then his broom starts bucking and turning. Harry: Whoa! Whooa! Hagrid: What's going on with Harry's broomstick? Hermione looks through binoculars at Harry, then at Snape, who is muttering something. Hermione: It's Snape! He's jinxing the broom! Ron: Jinxing the broom? What do we do? Hermione: Leave it to me. {She hands Ron her binoculars and leaves.} Harry is knocked around, then falls, dangling by one arm from the broom. Ron: Come on, Hermione! Hermione is hurrying up a tower. She appears underneath Snape and touches his cloak with her wand. Hermione: Lacarnum Inflamarae. A spark ignites and Snape's cloak catches fre. Hermione leaves. Man: fre! You're on fre! Snape: What? Oh! {knocks the man back, who falls into Quirrell, who then also falls. Snape bats out the fre and acts as though nothing happened. The broom stop bucking, and Harry climbs back on. The Slytherin seeker is after the Snitch. Harry takes off.} Ron: Go! Hagrid: Go go go! Harry rams the Slytherin Seeker, then is butted out. He returns, smashing the Seeker again as the Snitch dives. The boys follow, but they approach the ground quickly. The Slytherin Seeker backs out, and Harry pulls up his broom as he follows the Snitch, feet above the ground. Harry stands up, and steps forward, trying to grab the ball. He goes too far, and topples off the broom with a yelp, tumbling on the ground. He gets up and lurches. The crowd gasps. Hermione appears beside a tower to see. Hagrid: Looks like he's gonna be sick! Harry lurches and the Snitch pops out of his mouth. It lands in his hands. Lee: He's got the Snitch! Harry Potter receives 150 points for catching the Snitch! Hooch: {Blows whistle} Gryffindor win! All: YAY! Draco: No! Hagrid: Yes! Hermione: Whoo-hoo! McGonagall: {Giggles happily} Harry raises the Snitch into the air and the crowd, and his team, cheers. Crowd: Go go Gryffindor! Go go Gryffindor! Go go Gryffindor! Go go Gryffindor! Scene: Harry, Hermione and Ron are walking along a path with Hagrid, talking. Hagrid: Nonsense. Why would Snape put a curse on Harry's broom? Harry: Who knows. Why was he trying to get past that 3 headed dog on Halloween? Hagrid: Who told you 'bout Fluffy? Ron: Fluffy? Hermione: That thing has a name? Hagrid: Well, of course he's got a name. He's mine. I bought him off an Irish feller I met down at the pub last year. Then I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the Harry: Yes? Hagrid: Shouldn'ta said that. Don't ask any more questions. That's top secret, that is. Harry: But Hagrid, whatever Fluffy's guarding, Snape's trying to steal it! Hagrid: Codswallop. Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher. Hermione: Hogwarts teacher or not, I know a curse when I see one. I've read all about them. You have to keep eye contact. And Snape wasn't blinking. Harry: Exactly. Hagrid: {sighs} Now, you listen to me, all three of you. You're meddlin' in things that ought not to be meddled in. It's dangerous. What that dog is guarding is strictly between Professor Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel. Harry: Nicholas Flamel? Hagrid: I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that. I should not have said that. {Exit.} Harry: Nicholas Flamel...Who's Nicholas Flamel? Hermione: I don't know. Scene: Christmas. The camera pans up to a snowy castle, then to Hagrid, who is bringing in a large tree. Inside the great hall, students are leaving and ghosts are singing (Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, ring the Hogwarts bell. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas...) Hermione approaches the empty tables, wheeling a cart. She goes to Ron and Harry, who are playing chess. Harry: Knight to E-5. A piece moves across the board. Ron thinks for a moment. Ron: Queen to E-5. A queen walks over to E-5 and clinks the knight away. Hermione: That's totally barbaric! Ron: That's wizard's chess. I see you've packed. Hermione: See you haven't. Ron: Change of plans. My parents decided to go to Romania to visit my brother, Charlie. He's studying dragons there! Hermione: Good. You can help Harry, then. He's going to go the library for information on Nicholas Flamel. Ron: We've looked a hundred times! Hermione: Not in the restricted section...Happy Christmas. {exits.} Ron: I think we've had a bad influence on her. Scene: X-mas morning. Hedwig is perched in the boys' room, and Harry is asleep in bed. Ron: {calling from downstairs} Harry, wake up! Come on Harry, wake up! Harry gets up and runs to a balcony overlooking the common room, where Ron is standing next to a tree. He is wearing a sweater with an R on it. Ron: Happy Christmas, Harry. Harry: Happy Christmas, Ron. What are you wearing? Ron: Oh, Mum made it for me. Looks like you've got one too! Harry: I've got presents? Ron: Yeah! Harry: Oh! {Harry runs down the stairs.} Ron: There they are. {Ron sits on a couch arm and eats jelly beans as Harry picks up a silver wrapped package. Harry takes out the card.} Harry: "Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well." Harry opens the present. It is a cloak. Ron: What is it? Harry: Some kind of...cloak. Ron: Well, let's see then. Put it on. Harry puts the cloak on, and all of him disappears except for his head. Ron: Whoa! Harry: My body's gone! Ron: I know what that is! That's an invisibility cloak! Harry: I'm invisible? Ron: {gets up} They're really rare. I wonder who gave it to you. Harry: {comes over} There was no name. It just said, "Use it well." Scene: Late at night. A lantern and hand appear, but nothing else. The ensemble walk through the dark library and into the Restricted Section. The lamp is put down, and the cloak removed. Harry appears. Harry: {Reading books} Famous fre eaters...15th Century Fiends...Flamel...Nicholas Flamel...where are you? Harry picks up a book and opens it. A man's face appears. Man: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Harry slams the book shuts and puts it back. Filchs voice: Who's there?! {Harry whips around, grabbing his cloak. The lamp falls and shatters.} I know you're in there. You can't hide. {Harry puts on his cloak and creeps around Filch.} Who is it? Show yourself! Harry runs from the room, breathing heavily. He gets into the hall, where Mrs. Norris is. The cat meows and begins to follow him. Harry runs around a corner, just as Snape and Quirrell appear. Snape pushes Quirrell into the wall. Quirrell: Severus...I-I thought... Snape: You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell. Quirrell: W-what do you m-mean? Snape: You know perfectly well what I mean. {Snape senses something. Harry stops breathing. Snape reaches out to grab something, but doesn't. He whips his finger back in front of Quirrell's face.} We'll have another chat soon...when you've had time to decide where your loyalties lie. Filch appears, carrying the broken lamp. Filch: Oh, Professors. I found this, in the Restricted Section. It's still hot. That means there's a student out of bed. They all dart off. A door opens, and closes. On the other side, there is a vast, empty room that has a large mirror in the center. Harry appears and walks over to the mirror. In it, he sees two people appear. Harry: Mum? {the woman nods and smiles} Dad? {nods and smiles. Harry reaches out to touch them, but only gets the mirror. Then, his mother puts her hand on his shoulder. He puts his own hand on his own shoulders, as if trying to feel her there. Scene: The boys' room. Harry comes whipping in, invisible. Harry: Ron! You've really got to see this! Ron! You've got to see this! {pulls back covers. Ron wakes up.} Ron, Ron, come on. Get out of bed! Ron: Why? Harry: There's something you've got to see. Now, come on! Scene: Back in the mirror room. Harry and Ron appear as if magically and Harry runs to the mirror. Harry: Come on. Come. Come look, it's my parents! Ron: I only see me. Harry: {moves over} Look in properly. Go on. Stand there. There. You see them, don't you? Thats my dad Ron: That's me! Only, I'm head boy...and I'm holding the Quidditch cup! And bloody hell, I'm Quidditch Captain too! I look good. Harry, do you think this mirror shows the future? Harry: How can it? Both my parents are dad. {Harry smiles sadly.} Scene: Another night. Harry is sitting in front of the mirror. Dumbledore appears behind him. Dumbledore: Back again, Harry? {Harry turns around and stands up.} I see that you, like so many before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust by now you realize what it does. Let me give you a clue. The happiest man on earth would look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly as he is. Harry: So, then it shows us what we want? Whatever we want? Dumbledore: Yes...and no. It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desires of our hearts. Now you, who have never known your family, you see them standing beside you. But remember this, Harry. This mirror gives us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away in front of it, even gone mad. That is why tomorrow it will be moved to a new home, and I must ask you not to go looking for it again. It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live. {Harry looks back at the mirror.} Scene: Daytime. It is all snowy. Harry is out in a main courtyard, bundled up, with Hedwig on his arm. He stops and she lifts off, soaring away into the sky. When she returns, it is spring time. Scene: In the library. Harry and Ron are seated, reading. Hermione comes up with a huge book. She thumps it onto the table. Harry jumps. Hermione: I had you looking in the wrong section! How could I be so stupid? I checked this out a few weeks ago for a bit of light reading. Ron: This is light? Hermione: {glares} Of course! Here it is! "Nicholas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone!" Ron and Harry: The what? Hermione: Honestly, don't you two read? "The Philosopher's Stone is a legendary substance with astonishing powers. It will turn any metal into pure gold and produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal." Ron: Immortal? Hermione: It means you'll never die. Ron: I know what it means! Harry: Shh! Hermione: "The only stone currently in existence belongs to Mr. Nicholas Flamel, the noted alchemist, who last year celebrated his 665th birthday!" That's what Fluffy's guarding on the 3rd floor. That's what's under the trapdoor...the Philosopher's Stone! They all look at each other. Scene: Nighttime. Hermione, Ron and Harry are running across the wet ground to Hagrids hut. They knock on the door and it opens. Harry: Hagrid! Hagrid: {clad in oven mitts and an apron} Oh, hello. Sorry, don't wish to be rude, but I'm in no fit state to entertain today. {Closes door.} All 3: We know about the Philosopher's Stone! {Door reopens.} Hagrid: Oh. {They all come into Hagrid's small hut.} Harry: We think Snape's trying to steal it. Hagrid: Snape? Blimey, Harry, you're not still on about him, are you? Harry: Hagrid, we know he's after the Stone. We just don't know why. Hagrid: Snape is one of the teachers protecting the Stone! He's not about to steal it! Harry: What? Hagrid: You heard. Right. Come on, now, I'm a bit preoccupied today. Harry: Wait a minute. {Ron and a big black boarhound, FANG, meet. Fang sniffs Ron.} One of the teachers? Hermione: {sitting in a large chair} Of course! There are other things defending the Stone, aren't there? Spells, enchantments. Hagrid: That's right. Waste of bloody time, if you ask me. {Hermione looks at Ron, who is being sniffed in the face by Fang. Ron shuffles away.} Ain't no one gonna get past Fluffy. Hehe, not a soul knows how. Except for me and Dumbledore. I shouldn't have told you that. I shouldn't have told you that. {A cauldron over a fre begins to rattle.} Oh! {Hagrid hurries over and grabs something} Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! {puts the thing, an egg, on the table. The group crowds around.} Harry: Uh, Hagrid, what exactly is that? Hagrid: That? It's a ... its um... Ron: I know what that is! But Hagrid, how did you get one? Hagrid: I won it. Off a stranger I met down at a pub. Seemed quite glad to be rid off it, as a matter of fact. The egg rattles and cracks. Pieces fly off as a dragon emerges. It squeaks and slips on an egg piece. Hermione: Is that...a dragon? Ron: That's not just a dragon. That's a Norwegian Ridgeback! My brother Charlie works with these in Romania. Hagrid: Isn't he beautiful? Oh. Bless him, look. He knows his mummy. Hehe. Hallo, Norbert. {The dragon squeaks as it looks at Hagrid.} Harry: Norbert? Hagrid: Yeah, well, he's got to have a name, doesn't he? Ron: {laughs} Hagrid: Don't you, Norbert? {raises fingers back and forth across Norberts chin} Dededede. Norbert backs away, hiccups and blows a fireball of fre into Hagrid's beard. Hagrid: Ohh! Oooh, ooh, ooh, well...he'll have to be trained up a bit, of course. {Norbert hiccups. Hagrid sees someone looking in the window.} Who's that? {The person scampers away.} Harry: Malfoy. Hagrid: Oh, dear. Scene: The three are walking back through a corridor. An owl screeches. Harry: Hagrid always wanted a dragon. He told me so the first time I met him. Ron: It's crazy. And worse, Malfoy knows. Harry: I don't understand. Is that bad? Ron: It's bad. They stop as McGonagall, in her nightgown, appears. McGonagall: Good evening. Malfoy appears smugly beside her. Scene: McGonagall's classroom. The three accused are standing in front of McGonagall's desk, while Malfoy is feet away, smirking. McGonagall: Nothing, I repeat, nothing gives a student the right to walk about the school at night. Therefore, as punishment for your actions, 50 points will be taken. Harry: 50?! McGonagall: Each. And to ensure it doesn't happen again, all four of you will receive detention. Malfoy nods, then his smile vanishes. Draco: Excuse me, Professor. Perhaps I heard you wrong. I thought you said..."the four of us." McGonagall: No, you heard me correctly, Mr. Malfoy. You see, as honorable as your intentions were, you too were out of bed after hours. You will serve detention with your classmates. Harry, Ron and Hermione grin, and Draco sags. Scene: Outside, at night, the four students are being led to Hagrid's hut by Mr. Filch. Filch: A pity they let the old punishments die. There was a time detention would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. God, I miss the screaming. {Draco gulps, and Hermione rushes by.} You'll be serving detention with Hagrid tonight. He's got a little job to do inside the dark forest. {Hagrid appears with a crossbow. He sniffles.} A sorry lot this, Hagrid. Oh, good God, man, you're not still on about that bloody dragon, are you? Hagrid: {sniffs and sighs} Norbert's gone. Dumbledore sent him off to Romania to live in a colony. Hermione: Well, that's good, isn't it? He'll be with his own kind. Hagrid: Yeah, but what if he don't like Romania? {Filch rolls eyes.} What if the other dragons are mean to him? He's only a baby, after all. Filch: Oh, for Gods sake, pull yourself together, man. You're going into the forest, after all. Got to have your wits about you. Draco: The forest? I thought that was a joke! We can't go in there. Students aren't allowed. And there are...{a howl sounds}...werewolves! Filch: There's more than werewolves in those trees, lad. You can be sure of that. {Draco looks frightened.} Nighty-night. {Exit.} Hagrid: Right. Let's go. Scene: In the forest. The group walks along a path to a tree. Hagrid stops, bends down and dips his fingers in a silver puddle. He pulls out his fingers and rubs them together. A silver trail smears with his fingers. Harry: Hagrid, what's that? Hagrid: What we're here for. See that? That's unicorn's blood, that is. I found one dad a few weeks ago. Now, this one's been injured bad by something. {Harry suddenly sees a large cloaked figure walking through the trees. He looks at Hagrid.} So, it's our job to find the poor beast. Ron, Hermione, you'll come with me. Ron: {weakly} Okay. Hagrid: And Harry, you'll go with Malfoy. {Draco grimaces, and Harry nods.} Draco: Okay. Then I get Fang! Hagrid: Fine. Just so you know, he's a bloody coward. {Fang whines.} Scene: Harry and Draco are walking through the forest, Fang leading. Draco has the lamp. Draco: You wait till my father hears about this. This is servant's stuff. Harry: If I didn't know better, Draco, I'd say you were scared. Draco: Scared, Potter?! {Scoffs} {howl} Did you hear that? Come on, Fang. Scared. Scene: The group approaches a flat ground with gnarled roots all over. Fang stops, then growls. Harry: What is it, Fang? Up ahead, a cloaked figure is crouched over a dad unicorn, drinking its blood. The figure raises its head, silver blood dripping from its mouth. Harry gasps and grabs his scar, which is hurting. Draco: {A look of pure fear} AHHHHHHHHH! AHHH! {runs away, with Fang} HELP! Harry is left by himself. The figure slides over the unicorn and rises erect. It advances towards Harry, who backs up, but trips. He crawls backwards. Suddenly, there is the sound of hoofbeats. A figure leaps over Harry and lands near the cloaked figure. It is a silver centaur, FIRENZE. It rears, and the cloaked figure retreats, flying away. Firenze: Harry Potter, you must leave. You are known to many creatures here. The forest is not safe at this time. Especially for you. Harry: {rises} But what was that thing you saved me from? Firenze: A monstrous creature. It is a terrible crime to slay a unicorn. Drinking the blood of a unicorn will keep you alive even if you are an inch from death. But at a terrible price. You have slain something so pure that the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have a half-life. A cursed life. Harry: But who would choose such a life? Firenze: Can you think of no one? Harry: Do you mean to say...that that thing that klled the unicorn...that was drinking its blood...that was Voldemort? Firenze: Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment? Harry: The Philosopher's Stone. Suddenly, a dog (Fang) barks. Harry looks up and sees Hagrid, Hermione, Ron and Draco appear. Hermione: Harry! Hagrid: Hello there, Firenze. I see you've met our young Mr. Potter. You all right there, Harry? {Harry nods} Firenze: Harry Potter, this is where I leave you. You're safe now. Good luck. {Close up on the dad unicorn.} Scene: Gryffindor common room. Right after 'attck.' The group is around the fre. Hermione and Ron are seated, but Harry stands. Hermione: You mean, You-Know-Who's out there, right now, in the forest? Harry: But he's weak. He's living off the unicorns. Don't you see? We had it wrong. Snape doesn't want the stone for himself, he wants the stone for Voldemort. With the Elixir of Life, Voldemort will be strong again. He'll He'll come back. {Sits down.} Ron: But if he comes back, you don't think he'll try to kll you, do you? Harry: I think if he'd had the chance, he might have tried to kll me tonight. Ron: {Gulp} And to think, I've been worrying about my Potions final! Hermione: Hang on a minute. We're forgetting one thing. Who's the one wizard Voldemort always feared? {The boys shrug.} Dumbledore! As long as Dumbledore's around, you're safe. As long as Dumbledore's around, you can't be touched. {Harry smiles slightly.} Scene: Some time later. In the outdoor courtyard. The three are walking. Hermione: I've always heard Hogwarts' end of the year exams were frightful, but I found that rather enjoyable. Ron: Speak for yourself. All right there, Harry? Harry: My scar. It keeps burning. Hermione: It's happened before. Harry: Not like this. Ron: Perhaps you should see the nurse. Harry: I think it's a warning. It means dangers coming. Uhh! {He rubs scar and then sees Hagrid across the field, at his hut.} Oh. Of course! {runs for hut.} Hermione: What is it? Harry: Don't you think it's a bit odd that what Hagrid wants more than anything is a dragon, and a stranger shows up and just happens to have one? {They approach Hagrid, who is playing the Harry Potter theme on his flute.} I mean, how many people wander around with dragon eggs in their pockets? Why didn't I see it before? Hagrid, who gave you the dragon egg? {Hagrid stops playing.} What did he look like? Hagrid: I don't know. I never saw his face. He kept his hood up. Harry: The stranger, though, you and he must have talked. Hagrid: Well, he wanted to know what sort of creatures I looked after. I told him. I said, "After Fluffy, a dragon's gonna be no problem." Harry: And did he seem interested in Fluffy? Hagrid: Well, of course he was interested in Fluffy! How often do you come across a three headed dog, even if you're in the trade? But I told him. I said, "The trick with any beast is to know how to calm him. Take Fluffy, for example, just play him a bit of music and he falls straight to sleep." The three gape. Hagrid: I shouldn't have told you that. {The three take off.} Where you going?! Wait! Scene: McGonagall's classroom. The three come tearing in and run up the aisles between desks. They pass a ghost and stop at the desk. Harry: We have to see Professor Dumbledore, immediately! McGonagall: I'm afraid Professor Dumbledore is not here. He received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and left immediately for London. Harry: He's gone?! Now? But this is important! It's about...the Philosopher's Stone. McGonagall: {shocked} How do you know Harry: Someone's going to try and steal it. McGonagall: I don't know how you three found out about the stone, but I can assure you it is perfectly well-protected. Now would you go back to your dormitories? Quietly. {They leave.} Scene: After exiting McGonagall's class, they walk down the hallway. Harry: That was no stranger Hagrid met in the village. It was Snape, which means he knows how to get past Fluffy. Hermione: And with Dumbledore gone {Snape suddenly appears behind them} Snape: Good afternoon. Now, what would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside on a day like this? Hermione: Uh...we were just... Snape: You want to be careful. People will think you're {Harry glares madly at Snape, who looks shocked} up to something. {Exit.} Hermione: Now what do we do? Harry: We go down the trapdoor. Tonight. Scene: Nighttime. In the Gryffindor Common Room. The three friends come down the stairs and begin to walk across the floor. They stop when they hear croaking. Harry: Trevor. Ron: Trevor shh! Go, you shouldn't be here! Neville: {appears behind a chair} Neither should you. You're sneaking out again, arent you? Harry: Now, Neville, listen. We were Neville: No! I won't let you! {stands} You'll get Gryffindor in trouble again! I-I'll fight you. {holds out fists.} Hermione: Neville, I'm really, really sorry about this...{takes out wand} Petrificus Totalus. Neville is frozen and falls backwards onto the ground. Hermione puts her wand back. Ron: {Gulp} You're a little scary sometimes...you know that? Brilliant, but scary. Harry: Let's go. {Walks by Neville} Sorry. Hermione: Sorry. Ron: It's for your own good, you know. {Exit.} Scene: The three are under the Invisibility cloak, sneaking along the corridor. Hermione: Ow! You stood on my foot! Ron: Sorry. {A flame lights. Hermione draws out her wand and points it at the door.} Hermione: hm. The door opens and they go in. Ron: Wait a minute...he's...{a blow of air, and the cape flutters off them.} Sleeping. Harry: Snape's already been here. He's put a spell on the harp. {They approach the sleeping dog.} Ron: Uh. It's got horrible breath! Harry: We have to move its paw. Ron: What?! Harry: Come on! {grabs paw, which is blocking the door.} Okay. Push! {They strain and move it. They open the door.} I'll go first. Don't follow until I give you a sign. {Fluffy's eyes open.} If something bad happens, get yourselves out...Does it seem a bit...quiet? Hermione: The harp. It stopped playing. Drool from one head comes down on Ron's shoulder. Ron: Ew! Yuck! Ugh. {All three kids look up and see Fluffy standing there. Fluffy barks and growls, thrashing. It breaks the harp and dives at the three.} Harry: Jump! Go! {They all jump through the trapdoor.} Ron: Ahh! {gasps as he lands on some mushy black ropelike vines.} Whoa. Lucky this plant-thing is here, really. Harry: Whoa! {The plant begins to move towards them.} Oh. Ahh! {The plant ties them up.} Hermione: Stop moving, both of you. This is Devil's Snare. You have to relax. If you don't, it will only kll you faster. Ron: kll us faster?! Oh, now I can relax! Hermione manages a smile as she is sucked down below. Ron and Harry: Hermione! Ron: Now what are we gonna do?! Hermione's voice: Just relax! Harry: Hermione! Where are you?! Hermione (from below): Do what I say. Trust me. Harry relaxes and is sucked through. Ron: Ahh! Harry! Harry falls through and lands on the hard ground. Hermione goes over to him and he stands up. Ron: Harry! Hermione: Are you okay? Harry: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Ron: Help! Hermione: He's not relaxing, is he? Harry: Apparently not. Ron: Help! Help me! Hermione: We've got to do something! Harry: What? Hermione: Uh! I remember reading something in Herbology. {Ron: Help!} Um Devil's Snare, Devil's Scare, {The snare shuts Ron's mouth} it's deadly fun...but will sulk in the sun! That's it! Devil's Snare hates sunlight! {takes out wand and points upwards.} Lumus Solem! {A beam of light sh*t out. The Snare shrieks and recoils. Ron falls below.} Ron: Ahhh! Harry: Ron, are you okay? Ron: Yeah. Harry: Okay. Ron: {stands} Whew. Lucky we didn't panic! Harry: Lucky Hermione pays attention in Herbology. There is a sound. Hermione: What is that? Harry: I don't know. Sounds like wings. They enter into a room filled with golden "birds." Hermione: Curious. I've never seen birds like these. Harry: They're not birds, they're keys. And I'll bet one of them fits that door. {They come upon a broomstick, suspended in the air.} Hermione: What's this all about? Harry: I don't know. Strange. {Ron creeps over to the door and takes out his wand.} Ron: {rattles lock.} hm! {Shrugs} Well, it was worth a try. Hermione: Ugh! What're we going to do? There must be 1000 keys up there! Ron: We're looking for a big old fashioned one. Probably rusty like the handle. Harry: There! I see it! {points} The one with the broken wing! {He looks at the broom.} Hermione: What's wrong, Harry? Harry: It's too simple. Ron: Oh, go on, Harry! If Snape can catch it on that old broomstick, you can! You're the youngest seeker in a century! Harry nods and grabs the broom. All the keys suddenly go one direction, right at Harry. He climbs on, swiping at them. Ron: This complicates things a bit! Harry pushes off into the air. He flies off, after the key. The others follow him. Harry grabs the key. Harry: Catch the key! He zooms by and throws the key to Hermione, who catches it and heads for the lock while Harry distracts the other keys. Hermione puts it in the lock. Ron: Hurry up! The door opens, and Hermione and Ron rush through, followed by Harry. They shut the door just as the keys slam up against it. Scene: They enter a dark room, with broken pieces all around it. Hermione: I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Harry: Where are we? A graveyard. Ron: This is no graveyard. {sighs} It's a chessboard. {Walks out onto the marble board and flames light, illuminating the board and GIANT players. Harry and Hermione come up with him.} Harry: There's the door. They walk across the board, towards the door. Suddenly, as they reach a line of pawns, the pawns bring up their swords. The three jump and back up. Hermione: Now what do we do? Ron: It's obvious, isn't it? We've got to play our way across the room. All right. Harry, you take the Bishop's square. Hermione, you'll be the Queen's side castle. As for me, I'll be a knight. {They all take their places.} Hermione: What happens now? Ron: {aboard a horse.} Well, white moves first, and then...we play. {A pawn on the other side moves forward. Ron studies the game.} Hermione: Ron, you don't suppose this is going to be like...real wizard's chess, do you? Ron: You there! D-5! {A black pawn moves forward, diagonal to the white pawn. The white pawn raises its swords and smashes the black one. The three jump.} Yes, Hermione, I think this is going to be exactly like wizard's chess! The game continues. Pieces smash each other, boom! Boom! Ron: Castle to E-4! Smash! Ron: Pawn to C-3! Smash! Boom! The Queen turns, and smashes a piece! Harry, Ron and Hermione wince. The Queen turns again. Both Ron and Harry study the game. Harry: Wait a minute. Ron: You understand right, Harry. Once I make my move, the Queen will take me...then you'll be free to check the King. Harry: No, Ron! No! Hermione: What is it? Harry: He's going to sacrifice himself! Hermione: No, Ron, you can't! {Ron closes his eyes.} There must be another way! Ron: {turns to face Hermione.} Do you want to stop Snape or not? Harry, it's you that has to go on. I know it. Not me, not Hermione, you. {Harry nods.} Knight...to H-3. Ron's horse moves forward, slides and stops. Ron: Check. The Queen turns and advances. Ron breathes faster, clutching the steel reins. The Queen stops. SMASH! Ron goes flying off the horse and lands on the floor, unconscious. Ron: Ahhhh! Harry: RON! {Hermione starts walking to him.} NO! Don't move! Dont forget, we're still playing. {Hermione moves back. Harry walks the diagonal in front of the King.} Checkmate. {The Kings sword falls onto the ground victory. Harry breathes out and then the two run to Ron. They bend beside him.} Take care of Ron. Then, go to the owlery. Send a message to Dumbledore. Ron's right...I have to go on. Hermione: You'll be okay, Harry. You're a great wizard, you really are. Harry: Not as good as you. Hermione: {smile} Me? Books and cleverness? There are more important things. Friendship, and bravery. And Harry, just be careful. Harry nods and stands, walking away. Scene: Harry walks down a long staircase to an empty room with pillars around it. The Mirror of Erised is in the middle of the room, and a man is standing before it. It is Quirrell. Harry yelps and grabs his scar. Harry: You? {Quirrell turns around.} No. It can't be...Snape. He was the one Quirrell: Yes. He does seem the type, doesn't he? Next to me, who would suspect, "p-p-poor s-stuttering Professor Quirrell?" Harry: B-but, that day, during the Quidditch Match, Snape tried to kll me. Quirrell: No, dear boy. I tried to kll you! And trust me, if Snape's cloak hadn't caught fre and broken my eye contact, I would have succeeded. Even with Snape muttering his little counter-curse. Harry: Snape was trying to...save me? Quirrell: I knew you were a danger right from the off. Especially after Halloween. Harry: Th-then you let the troll in. Quirrell: Very good Potter, yes. Snape, unfortunately, wasn't fooled. While everyone else was running to the dungeon, he went to the 3rd floor to head me off. He, of course, never trusted me again. He rarely left me alone. {Quirrell turns back to the mirror and Harry's scar hurts.} But he doesn't understand. I'm never alone. Never. Now...what does this mirror do? I see what I desire. I see myself holding the stone. But how do I get it? {A raspy voice, VOLDEMORT, calls.}: Use the boy. Quirrell: Come here, Potter, now! Harry walks forward shakily. Quirrell: Tell me. What do you see? Harry looks in the mirror. He sees himself. His mirror self brings his hand into his pocket and takes out a red stone! The mirror self winks and puts the stone back. Very subtly, Harry reaches to his pocket. There is a lump. He gasps. Quirrell: What is it?! What do you see?! Harry: I-I'm shaking hands with Dumbledore. I've won the house cup. Voldemort's voice: He lies. Quirrell: Tell the truth! What do you see?! Voldemort's voice: Let me speak to him. Quirrell: Master, you are not strong enough. Voldemort's voice: I have strength enough for this. {Quirrell unwraps his turban and on the side opposite his face, another face is planted. It is Voldemort who appears kind of like a snake. He stretches out and faces Harry via the mirror.} Harry Potter. We meet again. Harry: Voldemort. Voldemort: Yes. You see what I have become? See what I must do to survive? Live off another. A mere parasite. Unicorn blood can sustain me, but it cannot give me a body of my own. But there is something that can. Something, that conveniently enough, lies in your pocket! Harry turns and runs. Voldemort: Stop him! {Quirrell snaps his fingers and fre erupts all around the room. Harry is stuck.} Don't be a fool! Why suffer a horrific death when you can join me and live?! Harry: {shakes his head} Never! Voldemort: Haha. Bravery. Your parents had it too. Tell me, Harry, would you like to see your mother and father again? Together, we can bring them back. {In the mirror, Harrys parents faces appear.} All I ask for is something in return. {Harry takes the stone from his pocket.} That's it, Harry. There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it. Together, we'll do extraordinary things. Just give me the stone! {Mother and father vanish.} Harry: You liar! Voldemort: kll him! Quirrell soars into the air and smashes into Harry, one hand on Harrys throat. They fall to the steps. The stone falls out of Harry's reach as Quirrell chokes him. Harry strains and squeaks. Suddenly, Harry puts his hand on Quirrell's, trying to get him off. Smoke furls from under his hand. Quirrell: Ahh! Ahh! {backs up. His hand is crumbling into a mountain of black ash.} What is this magic? {hand dissipates.} Voldemort: Fool! Get the stone! Quirrell: {Walks forward, but Harry puts both hands on his face.} Ahhhhhhhhhh! Quirrell backs up, then his face, which is horrendously brned, crumbles as he walks forward. His whole body is ash. He falls to the floor. Harry gasps. He looks at his own hands and hurries over to the stone. He picks it up and sighs, when he hears something. Turning, Harry sees a dust clouds with Voldemort's face. The cloud rushes forward, right through Harry! Voldemort: Arrrhhhhhh! Harry: Ahhhhhhhhh! {Voldemort flies away. Harry falls to the ground, unconscious. He holds the stone in an outstretched hand.} Scene: The hospital wing. Harry is bandaged, lying in bed. He awakens, puts on his glasses, and sits up. There are cards and candy all over. Dumbledore approaches him. Dumbledore: Good afternoon, Harry. Ah. Tokens from your admirers? Harry: Admirers? Dumbledore: What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows. {Both smile.} Ah, I see your friend Ronald has saved you the trouble of opening your Chocolate Frogs. Harry: Ron was here? Is he all right? What about Hermione? Dumbledore: Fine. They're both just fine. Harry: But, what happened to the Stone? Dumbledore: Relax, dear boy. The stone has been destroyed. My friend Nicholas and I had a little chat and agreed it was best all around. Harry: But Flamel, he'll die, won't he? Dumbledore: {sits on the bed.} He has enough Elixir to set his affairs in order. But yes, he will die. Harry: How is it I got the Stone, sir? One minute I was staring in the mirror, and the next... Dumbledore: Ah. You see, only a person who wanted to find the Stone, find it, but not use it, would be able to get it. That is one of my more brilliant ideas. And between you and me thats saying something. {Smile both.} Harry: Does that mean, with the Stone gone, I mean, that Voldemort can never come back? Dumbledore: Ah, I'm afraid there are ways in which he can return. Harry, do you know why Professor Quirrell couldn't bear to have you touch him? {Harry shakes his head.} It was because of your mother. She sacrificed herself for you, and that kind of act leaves a mark. {Harry touches his scar.} No, no, this kind of mark cannot be seen. It lives in your very skin. Harry: What is it? Dumbledore: Love, Harry, love. {Pats Harry's head and stands up.} Ah. Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. I was most unfortunate in my youth to come across a vomit flavoured one, and since then I have lost my liking for them. But I think I could be safe with a nice toffee...{takes brown bean and eats it.} Mm. Alas. Earwax. Scene: Harry approaches a room where up on a stairwell balcony Hermione and Ron are talking. They stop when they see Harry and lean over the railing. Harry: All right there, Ron? Ron: All right? You? Harry: {shrug} All right. Hermione? Hermione: {smile} Never better. Scene: In the great hall. All students are seated, and green banners with snakes on them are around the ceiling. Dumbledore, at the head table, nods to McGonagall. She dings her glass and the chatter stops. Dumbledore rises. Dumbledore: Another year gone. And now, as I understand it, the house cup needs awarding, and the points stand thus. In fourth place, Gryffindor with 312 points. {Clapping. Harry and Hermione hide their heads.} Third place, Hufflepuff, with 352 points. {Clapping.} In second place, Ravenclaw, with 426 points. {Clapping.} And in first place, with 472 points, Slytherin House. There is immense cheering. Students: Whoo! Yeah! Draco: Nice one, Mate! {sees Ron looking at him and sneers.} Dumbledore: Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin. However, recent events must be taken into account. And I have a few last minute points to award. {The Gryffindor students look up.} To Miss Hermione Granger, for the use of cool intellect when others were in great peril, 50 points. {Applause.} Harry: {Pats} Good job. Dumbledore: Second, to Mr. Ronald Weasley, for the best played game of chess {Ron looks at Harry and mouths, 'Me?' Harry nods, and mouths, 'You!'} that Hogwarts has seen these many years...50 points. {Applause} And third, to Mr. Harry Potter, for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor house 60 points. {Immense cheering.} Hermione: We're tied with Slytherin! Dumbledore: And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award 10 points to Neville Longbottom. Immense cheering erupts. Neville is unbelieving, and sits there while cheering gets louder. Draco is downfallen. Dumbledore: Assuming that my calculations are correct, I believe that a change of direction is in order. {Claps. The green banners change to Gryffindor red and yellow.} Gryffindor wins the House Cup! Cheering. Hagrid: Yes! {grins} All students stand and throw their hats into the air, except Draco, who smashes his down onto the table. Seamus: Neville! {Shakes his hand.} All rub each other's hair and jump around, cheering and laughing. Lee: Yeah! We won! {Jumps with Harry, who looks back and grins very widely.} Scene: The outdoor train station. Students are walking around, getting in the train. Hagrid: Come on now, hurry up. You'll be late. Train's leaving. Go on. Go on. Come on. Hurry up. Harry hands Hedwig to a train man, and walks to an open door of the train with Hermione. Hermione waves to Hagrid, who waves back. Hermione gets in the train. Hermione: Come on, Harry. Harry: One minute. {He walks over to Hagrid.} Hagrid: Thought you were leaving without saying good-bye, didja? {Hagrid takes a red album out of his coat pocket and hands it to Harry.} This is for you. Harry opens the album and sees a picture, moving, of him as a baby with his parents. They are all smiling and waving. Harry smiles. Harry: Thanks, Hagrid. {Shakes Hagrid's hand, then hugs him tightly.} Hagrid: Oh. Go on...on with you. {Harry lets go.} Oh, listen, Harry, if that dolt of a cousin of yours, Dudley, gives you any grief, you could always, um, thrat him with a nice pair of ears to go with that tail of his. Harry: But Hagrid, we're not allowed to do magic away from Hogwarts. You know that. Hagrid: I do. But your cousin don't, do he? Eh? {chuckle} Off you go. Harry walks away, back to the train door where Hermione and Ron are waiting. Hermione: Feels strange to be going home, doesn't it? Harry: I'm not going home. Not really. The train whistles and they climb aboard. As the train starts to leave and the camera pans up over the whole scene, Harry waves out the window to Hagrid, who waves back and then waves more to other students as the camera pans far back, then the credits begin.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (Bella wakes up as a new vampire and she immediately notices the differences in her senses, noticing dust particles in the air, the textures and details of things in the room, she focuses on Edward and they start touching each other lightly, Edward strokes her face) Edward: So beautiful. We're the same temperature now. (Bella looks at herself in the mirror, then turns to Edward and embraces him, not realizing her newly found strength as Edward starts feels uncomfortable in her embrace) Edward: Hey, Bella, you're a lot stronger than I am right now. It's your turn not to break me. BELLA: I love you. Edward: I love you. (They start kissing, then Bella looks at Edward) Bella: Renesmee. (Edward smiles.) Edward: She's incredible. Bella: Where is she? I have to see her. (Bella turns to go) Edward: Wait. Wait. You need to get your thirst under control. (Bella starts to look hungry) Edward: Yeah, you'll need to hunt. (Edward and Bella go to the woods on a hunt, as they run at super speed Bella again starts to notice everything in the woods, finally they stop after jumping over a waterfall) Edward: Close your eyes. (Bella closes her eyes and turns) Edward: What do you hear? (Bella starts hearing an owl, a squirrel and then a dear, she goes over to look at the dear when she sees a human in the distance and starts smelling his blood as he hurts himself as he climbs the mountain, Bella looks like she's about to attck when Edward intervenes) Edward: Bella, don't! (Bella bolts and starts running towards the human, Edward catches up with her and stops her as she's about to attck) Edward: Bella, stop! I'm sorry, I didn't realize there'd be people this far from the trails. (Bella looks at the human and tries to control herself) Bella: I have to get outta here. Edward: Okay, I can help you. (Bella jumps off the cliff and Edward looks at her as she leaps off and smiles) Edward: Or not. (Bella goes to catch the dear but a mountain lion comes up and leaps towards the dear at the same time Bella jumps and takes down the mountain lion, the dear runs off) (After Bella has fed on the mountain lion Bella and Edward walk back to the house) Edward: (Chuckles) Well, I'm amazed. You ran away from human blood mid-hunt. Even mature vampires have problems with that. (Bella sees Jacob walking out of the house and coming towards them) Bella: You're still here. Jacob: So are you. I didn't expect you to seem so you. (Bella smiles) Jacob: Except for the creepy eyes. (As Jacob starts getting closer) Bella: I would keep my distance for now. Jacob: It's safer for the baby to see how you do with me first. Bella: Since when do you care about Renesmee? (Jacob and Edward look at each other, knowing that Bella doesn't know that Jacob has imprinted on Renesmee) Jacob: All right. Take a whiff. (Bella steps closer and takes a sniff) Bella: Well, I can see what everyone's been talking about. (Jacob smiles) Bella: Jake, you really do stink. (Edward and Jacob laugh) Jacob: You guys really look great together. Edward: Want to come meet our daughter? (Jacob runs ahead into the house as Bella and Edward make their way into the house) (As Bella and Edward walk into the house, the whole family are there with Renesmee, they turn to face Bella) Esme: Welcome to the family. Alice: You look amazing, Bella. Carlise: Someone's been waiting to meet you. Edward: Rose. (Rose is holding Renesmee, turns to face them, Bella finally sees Renesmee, who looks a few months old, Rose hands over Renesmee to Bella and Renesmee tenderly touches Bella's face, Bella starts seeing image of herself when she gave birth to Renesmee) Bella: What was that? Edward: She showed you the first memory she has of you. Bella: Showed me? How? Edward: How do I hear thoughts? How does Alice see the future? She's gifted. (Bella notices how much older Renesmee looks for a new born baby) Bella: I've only been out for two days? Carlisle: Her growth rate is unprecedented. (As Bella is holding onto Renesmee, Jacob starts to act protective) Jacob: All right. That's enough experimenting for one day. Edward: Jacob. She's doing great. Jacob: Yeah. Let's not push it though. Bella: What's your problem? Rosalie: Oh. Do tell her, Jacob. Emmett: This should be good. Edward: Hold on a second. (Edward takes Renesmee from her) Jacob: Bella. Look, it's a wolf thing. Bella: What's a wolf thing? Jacob: Um... You know we have no control over it. We can't choose who it happens with. And it doesn't mean what you think, Bella. I promise. Bella: Take Renesmee out of the room. (Bella starts to look angry, Edwards comes up behind her and touches her shoulder) Bella: Edward, don't touch me right now. I don't want to hurt you. (Edward takes his hand away, furious with Jacob, Bella grabs hold of him and throws him out of the house) (After throwing Jacob out of the house) Bella: You imprinted on my daughter? Jacob: It wasn't my choice! Bella: She's a baby! Jacob: It's not like that. You think Edward would let me live if it was? Edward: I'm still debating it. Bella: I've held her once! One time, Jacob! And already you think that you have some moronic wolfy claim on her? She's mine! (Bella suddenly strikes Jacob hard in the face and Leah and Seth in their wolf form arrive on the scene) Jacob: It's fine, Leah. Bella: You're gonna stay away from her. Jacob: You know I can't do that. (Bella punches Jacob hard in the stomach and he falls down) Esme: Stop her, Edward. Edward: He said it's fine. She's amazing, right? Jacob: Do you remember how much you wanted to be around me 3 days ago? That's gone now, right? Bella: Long gone. Jacob: Because it was her. From the beginning it was Nessie who wanted me there. Bella: Nessie? You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness monster? (As Bella moves towards Jacob in anger, Seth in his wolf form attcks her, but Bella pushes him aside easily and he hits the tree before falling to the ground in pain) Jacob: Seth, are you okay? (Seth whimpers in pain) Bella: Seth, I'm sorry. Jacob: He'll be all right. (Jacob turns to Bella again) Jacob: Bella, you know me better than anyone. All I want is for Ness... (He sees Bella get angry at the mention of her nickname) Jacob: Renesmee to be safe. Happy. Look, nothing ever made sense before. You. Me. Any of it. And now I understand why. This was the reason. (Back at the house, as Jacob sleeps on the couch, Bella and Edward watch from the window as the Cullen's come back after their hunt, Rosalie comes into the house first looking at Renesmee in Bella's arms) Rosalie: Finally. My turn. (Bella gives Renesmee to Rosalie) Bella: Where does she sleep? Rosalie: In my arms. Or Edward's or Esme's. (Jacob wakes up as the other enter the house, Alice walks up to Bella) Alice: Happy birthday. Bella: I stopped aging three days ago. Alice: Well, we're celebrating anyway. So suck it up. (Alice holds out a key for Bella) (Alice takes Bella to her surprise present) Bella: I still hate surprises. That hasn't changed. Alice: You'll love this one. Welcome home! (Bella sees a house, which is near the Cullen's house) Alice: We thought you guys might like a place of your own. Edward: What do you think? Bella: I think it's perfect. Alice: Go inside. (Edwards takes Bella's hand and they walk towards their house) Alice: Have fun. (Edward and Bella enter their new home and Edward shows Bella around) Edward: This will be Renesmee's room. (They walk towards their room which has a massive walk-in closet) Edward: Closet. Bella: Wow. Edward: Alice stocked it for you. (Bella looks at the expensive dresses) Bella: Clearly. (Bella walks into their bedroom and looks at their bed) Edward: This is our room. Bella: Vampires don't sleep. Edward: It's not intended for sleep. (Edward starts kissing her neck, Bella pushes Edward onto the bed and they start making love) (As they lie in each other arms after making love) Bella: You really were holding back before. I'm never gonna get enough of this. We don't get tired. We don't have to rest or catch our breath or eat. I mean, how are we gonna stop? (Edward smiles) Edward: Rosalie and Emmett were so bad, it took a solid decade before we could stand to be within five miles of them. Bella: I think we might be worse. Edward: Definitely worse. (They start kissing and making love again) (The next morning, Bella and Edward walk into the Cullen's house) Emmett: Wow. Done already? Bella: Where's Renesmee? Emmett: Blondie stole her. (Jacob watches Rosalie from the window as she plays with Renesmee) Emmett: Break a lot of stuff? Bella: Emmett. No. (Emmett laughs) (As the Cullen's phone rings) Bella: Is that Charlie? Edward: He's been calling twice a day. Jacob: He's in pretty rough shape. Carlisle: Eventually, we'll have to tell him you didn't make it. Edward: He needs to mourn, Bella. (Jacob nods his head in agreement) Bella: Okay. We'll do it tomorrow. Emmett: I'm gonna miss this place. Carlisle: We'll come back. We always do. Jacob: Wait. Nobody said anything about leaving. Carlisle: Once people believe Bella's dad, we can't risk anyone seeing her. Jacob: So you just disappear? Edward: Jacob, we don't have another choice. (Upset at the prospect of losing Renesmee, Jacob goes to see Charlie) Charlie: Hey. You heard anything? Jacob: Charlie, Bella is... Uh... (Thinking that he means' Bella's dad) Charlie: No, she's not. Jacob: No, no, no, I mean, she's fine. She's back home and she's feeling better. (Charlie looks relieved) Charlie: Why didn't you say so? That's great. (Charlie starts walking off) Jacob: Wait. There's something you need to see first. Charlie: I need to see Bella. Jacob: Look, in order for Bella to get better, she had to change. Charlie: What do you mean, "change"? Jacob: Here goes nothing. (Jacob takes off his jacket and starts taking his clothes off) Charlie: What the hell are you doing? Jacob: You don't live in the world you think you do. Charlie: Jacob, put your clothes on. Jacob: Now, this may seem strange. Really strange. But stranger things happen every day. Trust me. (Suddenly Jacob shifts into his wolf form in front of Charlie, who looks shocked) (After telling the truth about himself to Charlie, Jacob defends himself to Bella and Edward) Jacob: Look, I solved a problem. You were leaving. What did you expect me to do? Bella: You don't realize the danger you've put him in. The Volturi will kll anyone who knows about us. Jacob: No, I didn't tell him about you. Just me. I only said you were different. Edward: And that we have a niece who we adopted. Bella: I mean, seriously, Jake, he's not just gonna let that go. Edward: Did you consider the physical pain he'll put Bella through? It'll be like sticking a white hot branding iron down her throat. And that's assuming she can control her thirst. Jacob: Look, Charlie's been in hell. And I know you'll be much happier with him in your life. Edward: Jacob, don't try and pretend you're doing this for anyone but yourself. Jacob: Sorry you feel that way because he'll be here in 10 minutes. Bella: What? (The Cullens help Bella get prepared to meet Charlie; Alice places contact lenses in her eyes) Alice: These will irritate your eyes at first. Carlisle: The main thing is not to move too fast. Esme: Try taking a seat. Crossing your legs. (Bella gets up to take a seat, but she moves too fast and slams into the seat) Esme: Maybe a tad slower. Hmm. Alice: And blink at least three times a minute. (Bella starts blinking repeatedly) Alice: Good. Jaocb: For a cartoon character. Carlisle: Hold your breath. It will help with the thirst. Edward: Just don't forget to move your shoulders so it looks like you're breathing. (Bella starts moving her shoulders up and down) Rosalie: And don't sit so straight. Humans don't do that. Bella: Okay. I got it. Move around, blink, slouch. (Bella hears Charlie's car park up outside the house) Esme: Good luck. (Everybody leaves the room) (As Charlie walks up to the house, Carlisle opens the door) Carlisle: Hello, Charlie. Charlie: Where's Bella? (Carlisle motions for Charlie to come inside and he takes Charlie to Bella, she's sat on the couch with Edward) Charlie: Bella? Bella: Hi, Dad. Charlie: Are you okay? Bella: Never better. Healthy as a horse. Charlie: You don't turn into an animal, too, do you? (Bella smiles and shakes her head) Jacob: She wishes she was that awesome. Edward: Let's give them some privacy. (Edward, Carlisle and Jacob leave the room) (After the others leave the room, Charlie sits next to Bella on the couch) Charlie: Uh, Jake said that this... This was necessary. What does that mean? Bella: I really think it would be better... Charlie: I wanna know what happened to you. Bella: I can't tell you. Charlie: I think I deserve an explanation. Bella: You do. But if you really need one, I can't stay here. Charlie: Oh, come on! No! No more going away! Bella: Dad, you're just gonna have to trust that for whatever reason, I'm all right. I'm more than all right. Can you live with that? Charlie: Can I live with that? Well, I don't know, Bella. I mean, I just watched a kid I've known his entire life turn into a very large dog. My daughter looks like my daughter. But doesn't. Bella: Can you please just believe that I'll tell you anything that you need to know? Charlie: And I don't need to know this? Bella: No. Really, you don't. Charlie: Well... Not gonna lose you again. I can't. Bella: Then you won't. I promise. (Charlie hugs Bella) Charlie: I missed you, Bells. So much. Bella: I missed you, Dad. (As Bella and Charlie are hugging, Edward walks into the room with Renesmee) Edward: Charlie. This is Renesmee. Charlie: Your niece? Edward: Our daughter. Charlie: Right. The adoption. (Charlie looks at Renesmee for a moment) Charlie: Renee-semee? She's got your eyes, Bella. Need to know, I guess. (Bella nods her head and smiles) (As they watch Charlie drive off) Jasper: Well done, Bella. Never seen a newborn show that kind of restraint. Emmett: I'm not sure she is a newborn. She's so tame. Edward: Emmett, don't antagonize her. She's the strongest one in the house. Emmett: Please. (This leads to an arm wrestling match in the woods between Bella and Emmett) Edward: Don't hurt yourself, Emmett. (Bella and Emmett get into position) Jasper: All right. On 3. 3! (Bella beats Emmett easily and everyone claps, Bella turns to Edward) Bella: Did you see that? (Bella then punches the rock nearby making it break and crumble, showing off her new found strength) (After her wrestling match with Emmett, Bella feels the sun coming up in the woods, she steps into the sunlight which makes her skin sparkle) Bella (V.O.): My time as a human was over. But I never felt more alive. I was born to be a vampire. (We see Sam making up with Jacob and Bella getting an expensive necklace with a note from the Volturi) Bella (V.O.): Everything was falling into place. Even the Volturi seemed to accept my new status. Though they'd want proof eventually. It seemed we had only one enemy left. Time. (We see Renesmee growing up from looking like a few months old to a few years old) Bella (V.O.): Renesmee was growing too fast. We all worried about how long we would have with her. It just made every moment more precious. (Renesmee, now looking at least 6 or 7 years old, is playing in the snow with Bella ad Jacob in his wolf form) Renesmee: Look, a snowflake. Bella: It's beautiful. Why don't you go get another one? (Renesmee runs off to play as Bella and Jacob watch her) Bella: Edward thinks that we'll find answers in Brazil. There are tribes there that might know something. (Bella watches Renesmee as she leaps into the air to catch snowflakes, suddenly they see a figure off in the distance watching them) Renesmee: Who was that? Bella: I think that's our cousin from Denali. Irina! (Looking visibly upset at seeing Renesmee, Irina and runs off before Bella can speak with her) (Back at the house, after Carlisle has spoken to the leader of the Denali Coven) Carlisle: Tanya convinced lrina to come reconcile with us. Edward: It looks like she changed her mind. Esme: Seeing Jacob must have been too much for her. Bella: Wish I could have just spoken to her. Carlisle: She's family. She'll come around. (Edward, who's sat with Renesmee at the piano, starts playing the piano) (In Italy we see Irina going to see the Volturi) Aro: What a pleasant surprise. Caius: What do you want? Hmm? Irina: I have to report a crime. The Cullens... They've done something terrible. Aro: Allow me, my dear. (Aro takes Irina's hand, seeing that the Cullens have created an immortal child) Aro: Oh, my. (Back at the Cullens house, everyone is gathered and listening to Edward play the piano when Alice has a vision of the Volturi coming to Forks to kll them all and drops the vase of flowers she was carrying) Jasper: What is it, Alice? Alice: The Volturi. They're coming for us. Aro, Caius, Marcus, the Guard. And lrina. Bella: Honey, come here. Carlisle: Why? Edward: What did lrina see in the woods? Bella: We were just walking. Jacob: Ness was catching snowflakes. Edward: Of course. Irina thinks Renesmee's an lmmortal Child. (Carlisle recounts the history of immortal children for Bella) Carlisle: The lmmortal Children were very beautiful. So enchanting. To be near them was to love them. But their development was frozen at the age they were turned. They couldn't be taught or restrained. A single tantrum could destroy an entire village. Humans heard about the devastation. Stories spread. The Volturi were forced to intervene. Since the Children couldn't protect our secret, they had to be destroyed. (We see in flashback that Irina's mother was one of the creators of immortal children) Woman: No! (Screaming) No! No! Carlisle: Their creators grew very attached and fought to protect them. Long-established covens were torn apart. Countless humans slaughtered. Traditions, friends, even families. Lost. Woman: No, no! Mother! Woman: No! Mother! Bella: So the Denalis' mother made an lmmortal Child? Carlisle: Yes. And she paid the price. (We see the Volturi decapitate Irina's mother and burn the immortal child) Bella: Well, Renesmee's nothing like those children. She was born, not bitten. She grows every single day. Jacob: So can't you just explain that to the Volturi? Edward: Aro has enough proof in lrina's thoughts. Jacob: So we fight. Jasper: Their offensive wapon are too powerful. No one can stand against Jane. Alice: Alec's even worse. Bella: Well, then we convince them. Emmet: They're coming to kll us, not to talk. Edward: No, you're right. They won't listen to us. But maybe others can convince them. Carlisle, you have friends all around the world. Carlisle: I won't ask them to fight. Edward: Not fight. Witness. If enough people knew the truth, maybe we could convince the Volturi to listen. (Esme turns to Carlisle) Esme: We can ask this of our friends. (To Carlisle as they all pack to go and gather as many vampires as they can) Esme: At least we get to go to London again. We haven't been there in a long time. Jacob: All right. Let's get this show on the road. (Jacob sees Sam walking up the house; Sam gives Carlisle a note) Sam: Alice asked me to give you that. She and Jasper crossed our lands to the ocean last night. (Carlisle reads the note and looks at the others) Esme: Carlisle? Carlisle: They've left us. Rosalie: Why? Carlisle: She didn't say. Bella: Can I see that? (Carlisle gives Alice's note to Bella) Alice: Gather as many witnesses as you can before the snow sticks to the ground. That's when they'll come. (Bella turns the note over and sees that it's a page torn from ‘The Merchant of Venice' by William Shakespeare) Bella (V.O.): Alice's instructions were clear, but the question remained. Why would she and Jasper leave at the moment we needed them most? What did they know? Our search for witnesses began with a trip north to our closest relatives. (Bella and Edward drive up to the Denali's house, Edward gets out of the car and walks up to them) Tanya: Edward, is everything all right? Why didn't you tell us you were coming? Carmen: Is it lrina? Have you heard from her? Edward: Not directly. Eleazar: Why is your bride waiting in the car? Kate: And why have you brought a wolf with you? I can smell him from here. Edward: My family is in danger. I need your help. Carmen: What's happened? Edward: It's hard to explain but I need you to be open-minded. Can you do that? Tanya: Of course. (Bella, Jacob and Renesmee wait in the car as Edward talks to the Denali's, Bella turns to Renesmee) Bella: Okay. Time to meet some new people. Renesmee: What if they don't like me? Jacob: They'll love you. Bella: They will. Once they understand you. Jacob: They just haven't met anyone like you before. Bella: Okay. (They all get out the car and the Denali's are immediately shocked at seeing Renesmee) Kate: The Volturi will come for all of us. Tanya: You get that thing out of here. Edward: She's not what she looks like. Tanya: This is a crime! (Tanya suddenly attcks Edward and he quickly pushes her aside, Kate then attcks Edward but Bella quickly jumps in and throws Kate aside, then both Kate and Tanya move to attck Edward and Bella) Bella: Stay back! Edward: She has blood in her veins. You can feel her warmth. Carmen: I can feel it. Edward: I'm her biological father. Bella is her mother. Kate: lmpossible. Bella: It's true. She was born while I was still human. Eleazar: I've never heard of such a thing. Edward: She can show you, if you let her. (As Jacob brings Renesmee towards the Denali's) Edward: Tanya, you owe us this much. We're all under a death sentence because your sister didn't let us explain. (Jacob brings Renesmee closer to Tanya, Renesmee goes to place her hand on Tanya's cheek) Bella: Don't be afraid. This is how she communicates. (Renesmee touches Tanya's cheek, letting her feel her memories, Tanya suddenly understands and turns to her family) Tanya: It's true. She's not immortal. Bella (V.O.): I knew the rest of our family would face this fear as well. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the Volturi. (Carlisle and Esme visit another vampire family in Egypt) Carlisle: Amun, please! Amun: I cannot help you, Carlisle. Carlisle: I wouldn't ask if it weren't urgent. Amun: You must go. (Suddenly Amun's son, Benjamin uses his powers to make the water in their small house pool rise up like a wall to block the doorway) Benjamin: I'd like to hear about it. I never get to meet any of Amun's friends. He likes to keep me hidden. Carlisle: I can't imagine why. (Benjamin makes the water fall back into the pool, and he walks up to Carlisle and they shake hands) Carlisle: Carlisle. Benjamin: Benjamin. (Back in Forks, we see Renesmee touching Benjamin's cheek, then Benjamin takes Renesmee's hand and uses his power to entertain her) Edward: Benjamin can influence the elements. Bella: And here I get super self-control. (Suddenly they all hear something fast move in the woods getting closer to them, suddenly we see two female vampires appear out of nowhere) Bella: Who are they? Edward: Senna and Zafrina. From the Amazon. (Bella and Edward take Renesmee to Senna and Zafrina) Bella (V.O.): The arrival of Senna and Zafrina meant that our plea was being heard in even the most remote corners of the world while others searched for witnesses closer to home. A patriot Carlisle first met on the bttlefield at Yorktown would become our most unlikely ally. (We see Carlisle's friend, Garrett, for the first time, as he attcks a punk singing in the streets and holds him up by his throat) Garrett: Shut up! I hated the first British lnvasion. And I hate the second one even more. (He starts to squeeze the punk's throat tighter) Emmett: Even the Beatles? Really, Garrett? Garrett: Old habits die hard. Rosalie: Carlisle needs you. (Garrett lets go of the punk's throat and he drops to the ground and tries to crawl away) Garrett: Sounds interesting. Man: Help! Garrett: But first I'd better finish my meal. Man: Help me! Help! (Garrett attcks the punk, drinks his blood and kills him) (We see as the different vampire clans gather at the Cullens home) Bella (V.O.): Each of them was won over. Each was made to see. Carlisle convinced his Irish friends to make the journey to Forks. Although we were grateful for their help, their thirst for human blood complicated the situation. The nomads Rosalie and Emmett sent were even more unpredictable. Especially Peter who had fought alongside Jasper as a newborn. (As Jacob looks around the room at all the vampires) Jacob: Lotta red eyes around here. Bella: They agreed not to hunt in the area. Jacob: But they'll feed somewhere. Bella (V.O.): As more vampires set foot in their territory, more Quileutes turned. Their nature compelling them to join the pack. (Jacob runs into a newly turned wolf in the woods) Jacob: Hey, easy there. Hey! It's all right. You're gonna be okay. Bella (V.O.): Finally, Carlisle and Esme returned with our last witness. Carlise: How many came? Edward: Eighteen. You have some good friends. Esme: And Alice? (Bella shakes her head indicating that Alice has still not returned, Esme hugs Bella) Alistair: We'll all be on Aro's list now. Centuries on the run. That's what you've brought me. Some friend, Carlisle. Carlisle: Alistair, come meet everyone. Alistair: I already told you, if it comes to a fight, I won't stand against the Volturi. Carlisle: It won't come to a fight. Alistair: I'll be in the attic. (They watch as Alistair jumps up onto the roof and walks off) Esme: He's not a people person. Bella (V.O.): We opened our home to 18 vampires. Many with gifts of their own. Zafrina had power over the mind. She could make anyone see what she wanted them to. (Bella watches as Zafrina makes Edward see something in the forest) Edward: If she weren't holding my hand right now, I could swear this was real. Bella: I don't see anything. Eleazar: Edward, you didn't tell me your wife is a shield. Bella: What's a shield? (Edward suddenly understands and smiles) Edward: The ones I've met are so different. Eleazar: It's a defensive talent. Edward: It's why I couldn't read your mind, even before. It's why Aro couldn't. Elezar: You have a very powerful gift. (Suddenly Kate takes Bella's hand) Kate: Oh, yeah, she's a shield, all right. Shoulda put her on her ass. Garrett: Or your voltage has been exaggerated. Kate: Maybe it only works on the weak. (Kate puts her hand up, daring Garrett to try and touch her) Carlisle: Garrett, I wouldn't. (Garrett touches his finger to Kate's hand and he's instantly electrocuted and falls to the ground) Garrett: You are an amazing woman. (Jacob is teaching some young Quileutes how to control themselves when they turn into wolves) Jacob: Now, you guys can do some serious damage. Which is why you'll need to control your phasing. If your mom pisses you off, you don't want to tear her head off. (Suddenly Jacob stops as he hears something in the woods) Jacob: Whoever's coming wasn't invited. (Jacob turns into a wolf and runs into the forest with the young wolves following him, they catch up and chase after two vampires who jump up some trees and then jump down and sit on some rocks mocking the wolves when Carlisle and the other vampire find them) Carlisle: Vladimir, Stefan, you're a long way from home. Kate: What are they doing here? Vladimir: We heard the Volturi were moving against you. But that you would not stand alone. Carlisle: We didn't do what we were accused of. Vladimir: We do not care what you did, Carlisle. Stefan: We have been waiting a millennium for the ltalian scum to be challenged. Carlisle: It's not our plan to fight the Volturi. Vladimir: Shame. Aro's witnesses will be so disappointed. Stefan: They enjoy a good fight. Eleazar: Aro's witnesses? Vladimir: Aww. Still hoping they'll listen? Eleazar: When Aro wants someone from a coven it's never long before evidence turns up proving that coven committed some crime. Bella: So he's done this before? Eleazar: It happens so rarely, I never realized it was a pattern. Carlisle: Apparently he always pardons one person whose thoughts he claims are repentant. Eleazar: This person always has an ability. And they're always given a place with the Guard. Edward: This is all about Alice. He has no one like her. Bella: Which is why she left. Emmett: Why does he need witnesses? Alistair: To spread the word that justice has been served. After he slaughters an entire coven. Amun: Benjamin, Tia, we're leaving. Edward: And where will you go? What makes you think they'll be satisfied with Alice? What's to stop them from going after Benjamin next? Or Zafrina or Kate or anyone else with a gift? Anyone they want. Their goal isn't punishment, it's power. It's acquisition. Carlisle might not ask you to fight, but I will. For the sake of my family. But also for yours. And for the way you want to live. (There's a moment of silence as the vampires look at each other, then Jacob stands) Jacob: The packs will fight. We've never been afraid of vampires. (The Delani's stand) Tanya: We will fight. Garrett: This won't be the first time I fought a king's rule. Benjamin: We'll join you. Amun: No. Benjamin: I will do the right thing, Amun. You may do as you please. Senna: We will stand with you. Siobhan: So will we. (The other vampire start to step forward) Vladimir: That didn't take much. Edward: Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Alistair: We'll see. Bella (V.O.): Everyone showed courage. Though we knew that Aro's army was moving against us. Soon we would face the dark gifts of Jane. And worse, the paralyzing vapor of her brother Alec who could rob you of sight, sound and touch. (In London, we see Jane and Alec chase down a Japanese vampire, Toshiro, they corner him and Alec releases his vapor, nearly klling him when Aro, Caius and Marcus arrive) Aro: Alec? (Alec takes back his power, releasing Toshiro from his vapor, Aro moves closer to Toshiro) Toshiro: I will never go against you. Aro: Of course not, my dear Toshiro. (Aro indicates that Toshiro gives him his hand, when he takes his hand Aro reads his mind) Aro: It seems Carlisle is still expecting you. (Aro and the others turn and start walking off, leaving Alec and Jane to deal with Toshiro) Caius: Carlisle is all but ensuring his own destruction. Aro: Sad, isn't it? [ CULLEN HOUSE ] Edward: Aro will want us incapacitated before he attcks. Jane and Alec will try and take me out first because I can anticipate their moves. Garrett: Too bad we don't all have your shield. Bella: Doesn't help me fight, though. Tanya: No, but you could help the rest of us, ifyou could project it. Bella: What do you mean? Tanya: I mean shield someone other than yourself. Bella: Is that possible? Carlisle: Gifts can be developed. Over time. Kate: At first, mine was just in my palms. Now I can radiate it all over my body. Bella: How do you do it? (Bella takes Kate's hand, a little too hard) Bella: Tell me. Kate: Ow. (Kate and the other vampire try to help Bella develop her power) Kate: You need to visualize it. See how it moves. What color it is. Now picture it expanding. Will it to go beyond you. (Bella tries but only manages to bring up her shield for moment) Kate: I think she needs something to motivate her. (Edward steps forward) Bella: No. Edward: It's all right, I can take it. Garrett: He says that now. Emmett: Focus, Bella, or he's gonna be hurting. (Edward puts his hand up ready to touch Kate's hand) Bella: Edward, I'm not ready to do this yet. (Kate touches Edward hand, sending a painful electric shock through him) Bella: I'm sorry. I said that I wasn't ready. Emmett: Dude, you're not motivating her. Edward: You want to try? (Emmett puts his hands up and backs off) (Bella tries again to use her power and Kate touches Edward, sending another electric shock through his body making Edward scream in pain) Bella: Kate! Kate: You seem to lack incentive. Shall I go see if Renesmee's awake? Bella: Are you crazy? Kate: All right. This one's on full power. (As Kate is about to touch Edward, Bella manages to bring up her shield and protects Edward from Kate's power when she touches him) Edward: It's painful, but it's bearable. Bella: Okay, we should go again. Edward: Emmett? Emmett: I'm good. (Bella reads to Renesmee to sleep) Bella: "There's sweet music here that softer falls than petals from blown roses on the grass. Or night dews on still waters between walls of shadowy granite in a gleaming pass. Music that brings sweet sleep down from the blissful skies." (Bella sees that Renesmee has closed her eyes and she closes the book and turns off the light) Renesmee: Mom. Bella: Hmm? Renesmee: Did Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper run away because we're gonna die? Bella: No. I think they left to keep us safer. That's what all these other people are here for, too. I'll never let anybody hurt you. (Bella kisses Renesmee on her forehead and pulls her close to her) Bella: Come here. Go to sleep. (After putting Renesmee to sleep, Bella goes to the living room and looks at Alice's not once more when Edward walks in) Bella: It's strange. Physically, I feel like I could demolish a tnk. mentlly, I just feel drained. Edward: How about a bath? (Edward sits next to her and kisses her shoulder and starts unbuttoning her shirt) Bella: I do remember how to undress myself. Edward: Yeah, I just do it so much better. (Bella smiles and looks at Alice's note again) Edward: Bella, I've had a bad habit of underestimating you. Every obstacle you've faced, I'd think you couldn't overcome it. And you just did. You're the reason they have something to fight for. My family. (They kiss for a moment) Edward: I'm gonna get the water running. (Edward leaves the room, Bella looks at Alice's note again, turns the note over to look at the ripped page from The Merchant of Venice, she notices the book on the book shelf, opens it and finds a hidden note from Alice that says ‘J. Jenks, Seattle – destroy this') Bella (V.O.): Alice made sure only I would get the message. Because only my mind would be safe from Aro. (When Edward walks back in the room, Bella throws the book into the fre) (Talking to Bella on the car as they take Renesmee to Charlie) Jacob: I'm surprised you took a break from Jedi training. Bella: If I don't take Renesmee to my dad, he'll come to us. Not so great. Jacob: I know that's what you told Edward. (Bella doesn't reply as she realizes that Jacob is aware she's up to something) Jacob: Whatever. I'm just glad to get away from all those reeking bloodsuckers. (Bella gives Jacob a look of disapproval) Jacob: I'm sorry. I know. They're the good guys. But come on, Dracula One and Two are creepy. (Both laughing) (As Bella pulls up the car at Charlie's Renesmee quickly gets out of the car and runs towards Charlie and Sue as they come out of the house) Charlie: There she is. Come here. (Charlie catches Renesmee in his arms and spins her) Charlie: Oh! Wow! Look at you. You've grown half a foot! Seriously. Like 6 inches. Sue: Come on inside. Lunch is on the table. Charlie: We got a tree to decorate, huh? Bella: I've actually got a few errands to run, guys. I'll be back soon, okay? (Jacob gives Bella a knowing look as she leaves and goes inside the house with Renesmee) Charlie: Come on. Let's go. (As Bella drives to Seattle to meet with J. Jenks) Bella (V.O.): Alice's note gave me a new sense of hope. Maybe she had a plan for us after all. And maybe J. Jenks was the key. (Bella arrives at the restaurant she's meeting Jenks an is directed to his table) Bella: I'm meeting Mr. Jenks. Host: Right this way. Jenks: Mrs. Cullen. Bella: Hi. Jenks: I'm so happy you called. I always meet my private clients here. It's more comfortable than the office. Bella: And it's more public. (Jenks smiles) Bella: What type of work do you do, J.? Jenks: Oh, you know, this and that. It's always different, which keeps it interesting. Bella: Have you known Alice and Jasper long? Jenks: I've been working with them for more than 20 years. And my late partner knew Jasper 15 years before that. He is, uh, unusually well-preserved. Bella: Yes, he is. Jenks: I trust that Mr. Jasper is enjoying his vacation. Bella: He didn't tell you where he was going, did he? Jenks: No, no, no, he just mentioned that he was leaving when he came by to place his order. Bella: I assume that his order is ready? Jenks: Of course. I've never been late with a delivery. (Jenks slides an envelope towards Bella, she opens the envelope to find forged passports and documentation for Renesmee and Jacob) Jenks: There a problem? Bella: No. My husband and I thought that we'd all be traveling together. Jenks: Jasper said only two were traveling. His instructions were very clear. (Bella clearly disappointed puts the passports and documents back into the envelope) Bella: It's my mistake. Apparently, that's not going to happen. (Driving back to Forks after her meeting with Jenks) Bella (V.O.): Alice's vision was clear. Renesmee would have a future. But Edward and I wouldn't be a part of it. (Bella watches as Renesmee goes to Edwards arms and he picks her up lovingly, she then goes and packs a bag for Renesmee, with some money and writes a letter for Renesmee) Bella (V.O.): "My dearest Renesmee, I thought we would have forever together. But forever isn't as long as I'd hoped. I know now why Alice left me clues. It was to keep you safe. Everything you and Jacob will need is in this pack. Jacob will protect you. And he'll help you learn about the Ticuna legends. " (As Bella finishes up writing her letter to Renesmee, Alistair walks into the room) Alistair: It's a romantic notion, isn't it? That a righteous few can defy a great evil. I must admit, you even had me believing. For a moment. (Chuckles) Well, good luck. (Alistair turns and starts walking out) Alistair: You're gonna need it. Cheers. (He walks out) (Spending Christmas at Charlie's house, Bella watches the snow outside with worry, Edward walks up behind her) Bella: The snow is sticking. Edward: Hey, we still have today. (Bella watches as Sue helps Charlie clear up in the kitchen) Bella: I'm so glad Charlie found somebody to take care of him. Edward: Bella, no one's giving up here. (Charlie walks into the room) Charlie: All right! Present time! Let's go! Seth, Leah, stop eating. Jake, you start. Get it going. (Jacob passes a present to Renesmee) Seth: What did you get me? Leah: I'm not giving you anything. Seth: Hey! No, come on, what did you get me? Bella: Well, Dad, we didn't have time to wrap yours, but here it is. (She gives Charlie a piece of paper) Bella: It's a 5-day fishing trip to Fraser River. It's for you and Sue. Edward: You leave tomorrow. Charlie: Wow, that's really nice. Thank you. Tomorrow? I can't leave tomorrow. Sue: I made arrangements for you at work. Charlie: Sneaky. And extravagant. Edward: And non-refundable, I'm afraid. Charlie: You two trying to get rid of me? (Bella and Edward go quite, thinking he might have figured out something is wrong) Charlie: Because it's working! (Chuckles) Fraser River. That means we'll be chasing Cutthroat. Sue: We might even hook a Rainbow or some Bulls. Charlie: Woman knows her trout. (Referring to the present Renesmee has just opened) Bella: Hey, beautiful. Let me see. (She sees that it's a bracelet) Bella: Jacob make this for you? Wanna put it on? (Bella puts the bracelet on Renesmee's wrist) Renesmee: It's so pretty. Bella: It is really pretty. (Bella turns to Edward who smiles) (As the snow is falling, the vampires and Jacob have set up camp in the woods, Jacob brings some wood and drops it on the ground, then Benjamin uses his powers to produce fre from his fingertips and throws it on the woods to start a fre) Jacob: That's what I'm talkin' about. A little pre-battle bonfire. Telling wr stories. (Jacob sits next to Benjamin and looks across the fre and sees the other vampires standing) Jacob: Or just standing there like frickin' statues. (Suddenly Garrett spins in and sits next to them by the fre) Garrett: Name any American battle. I was there. Jacob: Little Bighorn. Garrett: I came this close to biting Custer. But the lndians got him first. (Just then Kate spins in and sits next to Garrett) Kate: Try Oleg's asault on Constantinople. He didn't win that one on his own. Liam: lfyou're talking battles, you're talking the Eleven Years' wr. No one does rebellion like the lrish. Garrett: You lost the Eleven Years' wr. Liam: Aye. But it was one hell of a rebellion. (Sitting around the camp fre with the other vampires) Vladimir: When we ruled, everything came to us. Prey, diplomats, favor seekers. Such was our power. But we never put on white hats and called ourselves saints. Stefan: We were honest about what we were. Vladimir: We sat still for a very long time. We didn't notice we were beginning to petrify. Stefan: Perhaps the Volturi did us a favor when they brned our castles. Vladimir: We've been waiting 1,500 years to return that favor. We have been ready to do battle for ages. (Watching the other vampires as they sit around the camp fre talking) Edward: I can't help thinking, all these people are putting themselves in danger because I fell in love with a human. Carlisle: You found your mate. You deserve to be happy. Edward: But at what cost? Carlisle: Everyone here has something to fight for. I certainly do. (Edward looks over at Bella and Renesmee in their tent) Edward: Carlisle, I've never thanked you. For this extraordinary life. (Carlisle puts his hand on Edward shoulder as they stand and keep watching over the others) (In their tent, Renesmee opens the locket containing a photo of Bella and Edward and the message ‘Plus que ma propre vie' engraved in it) Bella: This means "More than my own life." That's how much I love you. Tomorrow I'm gonna need you to stay with Jacob. No matter what. Even if I tell him that... That he has to take you somewhere. (Renesmee starts crying and Bella takes her into her arms) Bella: Hey. Baby, it's all right. You're gonna be safe. Always. (When it is time for the Volturi to arrive, the Cullens and their witnesses, all gather are met in a large, snow-covered field, Garret stands next to Kate as they watch and wait) Garrett: If we live through this, I'll follow you anywhere, woman. Kate: Now you tell me. (They hear the Volturi and their army getting closer) Garrett: The Redcoats are coming! The Redcoats are coming! (Suddenly Aro and his army become visible and it's clear that they outnumber the Cullens and their witnesses, Edward watches Aro as they walk towards them) Edward: Aro's looking for Alice. (As Aro and his army get closer, we see the wolf packs coming out to join the Cullens and their witnesses, Jacob in his wolf form comes and stands next Bella, Renesmee and Edward) (Aro and his army stand in a line facing the Cullens and their witnesses, Carlisle walks forward) Carlisle: Aro, Iet us discuss things as we used to. In a civilized manner. Aro: Fair words, Carlisle. But a little out of place, given the battalion you've assembled against us. Carlisle: I can promise you, that was never my intent. No laws have been broken. Caius: We see the child. Do not treat us as fools. Carlisle: She is not an lmmortal! These witnesses can attest to that. Or you can look. See the flush of human blood in her cheeks. Caius: Artifice! Aro: I will collect every facet of the truth. But from someone more central to the story. Edward, as the child clings to your newborn mate, I assume you are involved. (Edward looks at Bella then makes his way towards Aro, as Bella watches Edward walk towards Aro she uses her powers to shield Edward) (As Edwards reaches Aro he extends his hand, Aro takes it and uses his power to read his thoughts and realizes that Renesmee is not an immortal child) Aro: I'd like to meet her. (Edward turns and looks at Bella and Renesmee, then Bella, Renesmee, Jacob, joined by Emmett walk towards Aro) Aro: Ah. Young Bella. Immortality becomes you. (Aro smiles and then shrieks with laughter as he hears Renesmee's heart beating) Aro: I hear her strange heart. (Aro holds out his hand and Renesmee walks closer to him) Renesmee: Hello, Aro. (Renesmee then touches Aro's cheek, using her powers on him, Aro becomes transfixed by what she shows him) Aro: Magnifico! Half mortal, half immortal. Conceived and carried by this newborn while she was still human. Caius: Impossible! Aro: Do you think they fooled me, brother? (Bella, Edward and Renesmee walk back to join the other witnesses) Caius: Bring the informer forward. (Irina is brought towards Caius and Aro) Caius: Is that the child you saw? Irina: I'm not sure. Caius: Jane. Irina: She's changed. This child is bigger. Caius: Then your allegations were false. Irina: The Cullens are innocent. I take full responsibility for my mistake. I'm sorry. (Edward sees that Irina is about to execute) Edward: Caius, no! (Felix then steps forward and hits Irina and snaps her head off) Tanya: Irina! (Caius then sets fre to the rest of Irina's body, Kate and Tanya scream and run towards Aro and his army, Garrett gets hold of Kate, she uses her power to electrocute him, Edward then turns to Zafrina) Edward: Blind them. (Zafrina uses her power to blind Kate and Tanya, stopping them from attacking) Tanya: We must attck! Edward: Tanya, this is what they want. Ifyou attck now, we'll all die. (Edward then looks at Zafrina and she stops blinding Kate and Tanya) (As Tanya and Kate stop their attck on Aro and his army, Jane looks at Edward) Jane: Pain. (She uses her power to bring Edward down in pain, but Bella manages to use her power to shield Edward, he gets up and walks towards Bella) Edward: It's working. (Bella smiles as Jane realizes her powers are useless against her shield, then Alec steps forward and tries to use his deadly vapor but Aro stops him) Carlisle: Aro, you see there's no law broken here. Aro: Agreed. But does it then follow that there is no danger? For the first time in our history humans pose a thrat to our kind. Their modern technology has given birth to wapon that could destroy us. Maintaining our secret has never been more imperative. In such perilous times, only the known is safe. Only the known is tolerable. And we know nothing ofwhat this child will become. Can we live with such uncertainty? Spare ourselves a fight today, only to die tomorrow. (Just then two figures emerge from the nearby woods) Aro: HA! (Edward realizes it's Alice and Jasper) Edward: Alice. Aro: Alice! (As Alice and Jasper walk up to Aro and his army, two of Aro's guards stop them) Aro: My dear, dear Alice, we're so glad to see you here, after all. Alice: I have evidence the child won't be a risk to our kind. (Aro looks at her with suspicion) Alice: Let me show you. (Alice extends her hand, Aro motions for his guards to let Alice go) Caius: Brother? (Alice walks up to Aro and he takes hold of her hand, as Aro reads her thought Alice realizes that Aro won't change his mind) Alice: It doesn't matter what I show you. Even when you see. You still won't change your decision. (At that moment Alice turn, looks over to Bella and whispers) Alice: Now! (Bella looks at Renesmee who's sitting on top of Jacob, then Bella looks at Jacob) Bella: Take care of my daughter. (Jacob turns and starts running into the woods with Renesmee) (To his guards, seeing Jacob running off into the woods with Renesmee) Caius: Get them. Hmm! (Suddenly Alice attcks Aro, kicking him with her leg, sending him flying, but he manages to land back down and orders his guards to take hold of Alice) Aro: Take her away. (The Cullens become angry as they see Alice being held) Carlisle: Let her go! (Carlisle runs forward to attck, he and Aro meet each other mid-air, we then see Aro land on the ground with Carlisle's decapitated head in hand, the Cullens and their witnesses watch in horror as Caius burns Carlisle's body, this causes the Cullens, their witnesses and the wolf packs to launch into an attck, chaos breaks out with both sides undergoing deaths, Bella tries to use her power to help shield Jasper from Jane's power, but Alec attcks Bella, we then see Jasper writhe in pain from Jane's power and then beheaded by another Volturi, we then see Emmett rush in and behead Alec, then Seth is klled in his wolf form by a Volturi) (As Jacob is running in the woods with Renesmee, we see one of Aro's guards catch up to them) Renesmee: Jacob! Jacob! Jacob! Jacob! Watch out! (Just then a vampire jumps onto Jacob from above, but Jacob manages to kll and behead the vampire and he continues to run in the woods with Renesmee) (Back at the battle scene, Benjamin uses his power to create a chasm in the earth, which kills many of the Volturi and nearly takes Esme and Edward down, but they manage to escape with Edward klling Felix in the process, then Alice attcks Jane and Bella helps by shielding her, Alice throws Jane to Sam in his wolf form and he kills her, we then see Caius join the battle then getting his skull ripped off by Tanya and Kate, we then see Vladimir and Stefan attck Marcus) Marcus: Finally. (Vladimir and Stefan kll Marcus, as Aro watches most of his army die he finally joins in the battle and Edward and Bella attck him and together they manage to rip his head off and set fre to his body) (As we see Aro die, we're suddenly transported back to the field before the battle and it's clear that the battle was a vision that Alice was showing Aro) Alice: Now you know. That's your future. Unless you decide on another course. Caius: We cannot alter our course. The child still poses a grave thrat. Edward: But what if you were sure she could remain concealed from the human world? Could we leave in peace? Caius: Of course. But that cannot be known. Edward: Actually, it can. (We see two more witnesses, walking in from the woods, they come and stand next to Alice) Alice: I've been searching for witnesses of my own among the Ticuna tribes of Brazil. Caius: We have enough witnesses. Aro: Let him speak, brother. Nahuel: I am half human, half vampire. Like the child. A vampire seduced my mother, who died giving birth to me. My aunt Huilen raised me as her own. I made her immortal. Bella: How old are you? Nahuel: a hundred and fifty years. Aro: At what age did you reach maturity? Nahuel: I became full-grown seven years after my birth. I have not changed since then. Aro: And your diet? Nahuel: Blood, human food. I can survive on either. Marcus: These children are much like us. Caius: Regardless, the Cullens have been consorting with werewolves. Our natural enemies. (Aro turns and addresses his army) Aro: Dear ones, there is no danger here. We will not fight today. (Some of the Volturi look disappointed, including Caius and Jane, but they all listen to Aro and quickly leave, then before leaving Aro looks at Alice and Bella) Aro: Such a prize. (Aro then turns and leaves) (After Aro and his army leave) Vladimir: We have them on the run. Now is the time to att*ck. Carlisle: Not today. Stefan: You're all fools! The Volturi might be gone. But they will never forgive what happened here. (The Cullens and their witnesses do not listen so Vladimir and Stefan leave in anger and everyone else rejoices in the fact that they did not have to fight the Volturi) (Back at the Cullens house, the witnesses are saying goodbye and leaving, Edward and Jacob watch Renesmee as she speaks to Zafrina and Senna) Jacob: You have a beautiful family. She's gonna be around for a long time, isn't she? Edward: A very long time. I'm glad she has you. (Jacob smiles) Jacob: So should I start calling you "Dad"? Edward: No. (Jacob laughs, then Renesmee runs into Edwards's arms and Bella joins them) Bella: Hey. (Bella takes Renesmee's hand and puts it on her cheek to listen to Renesmee's thoughts) Bella: Yeah. We're all gonna be together now. (As Renesmee hugs Bella, Alice watches them in the distance, she has a vision of Renesmee grown up, she's with Jacob and they are happy together and we also see Edward and Bella in the vision as they join Renesmee, then Alice looks at Edward and he smiles at her as he reads her thoughts seeing her vision of Renesmee grown up and happy) (Last lines; Edward and Bella are back in their meadow) Bella: I wanna show you something. Edward: What? (Bella lifts her shield and shows Edward her thoughts and memories of their time together from the first time they met to everything that's happened to up to now) Edward: How did you do that? Bella: Been practicing. Now you know. Nobody's ever loved anybody as much as I love you. Edward: There's one exception. (Bella nods understanding that he feels the same for her and they kiss) Edward: Will you show me again? (Bella smiles) Bella: We've got a lotta time. Edward: Forever. Bella: Forever. (Bella and Edward kiss and the movie ends with the final words from the novel being shown; ‘And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever.')	{"type": "movie", "show": "Twilight Saga, The: Breaking Dawn Part 2", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 Bella: "Childhood is not from birth to a certain age. And at a certain age, the child is grown and puts away childish things. Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies." [ EXT. JACOB'S HOUSE ] (O.C. Jacob storms out of his house and throws Bella and Edward's wedding invitation on the ground. He starts running off into the woods. He takes his shirt off as he is running.) (Billy rolls out of the house.) Billy: Jake! Jacob! (Jacob turns into a wolf as he heads into the forest.) (Camera goes to Billy. He sighs and looks down at the wedding invitation. He picks up the wedding invitation and looks at it. Scene changes to a close up of the invitation with Charlie holding the invitation. He has his face in one hand while looking at it. Charlie looks out the window. Changes to a close up of Renee holding the wedding invitation.) Renee: Phil! (Renee starts walking towards the house. Phil comes into the sht only seeing the back of his head.) Renee: It's happening. (Close up of Bella walking in her wedding shoes slowly.) (Camera changes to a view of Bella and Alice. Bella looks down at her feet. She stumbles a little.) Alice: You just have to break them in. Bella: I've been breaking them in. For three days. Can I just go barefoot? Alice: No, absolutely not. Bella: Just thinking it's a little much, you know? The dress and the shoes, and all of this. (Goes to a sht of Jasper and Carlisle carrying benches for the wedding. Then goes back to Alice.) Alice: No, it's exactly enough. Tomorrow will be perfect. (Emmett comes in carrying a long tree trunk.) Emmett: Where do you want them, boss? Alice: On either side of the aisle. (Rosalie walks past behind Emmett carrying a fat tree stump.) Rosalie: What aisle? Alice: Does no one have vision? (Bella takes off her shoes and puts her converse back on. She looks up into a window in the house and looks at Edward who is watching his family get everything set up for the wedding.) (Alice comes into Bella's line of vision.) Alice: You, go home and get lots of beauty sleep. That's an order. Bella: Okay. (Alice and Bella hug. Bella walks out of the sht. Alice picks up the shoes, looks at them and smiles.) (sht of Bella's house. Bella is putting something into a cardboard box. She turns around and leans slightly against the box, looking deep in thought. She walks over to her bed and looks at the dreamcatcher that Jacob gave her, that is hanging on the headboard. Edward appears behind her. She turns around and faces Edward.) Edward: I was just checking for cold feet. Bella: Well, mine are toasty warm. (Bella sits down on her bed.) Edward: It's not too late to change your mind. Bella: What? Now you're having second thoughts? You are. Edward: No, I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. Bella: But? Edward: I haven't told you everything about myself. Bella: What? You're not a virgin? (Edward chuckles and walks around to the other side of Bella's bed. Bella turns herself to face him.) Bella: Look, you can't scare me away now. Edward: Look, a few years after Carlisle created me, I rebelled against him. I resented him for curbing my appetite. And so for a while, I went off on my own. I wanted to know how it felt to hunt. To taste human blood. [ FLASHBACK ] (In a movie theater. Edward is sitting watching a movie. A lady walks past him. Edward looks at her. A man follows her and he sees that he plans on attacking the woman. Edward follows the man and the camera makes it seem like Edward wants to hunt the lady. Edward watches up with man and drinks his blood.) [ END OF FLASHBACK ] Edward: All the men I klled were monsters. And so was I. Bella: Edward, they were all mrder. You probably saved more lives than you took. Edward: Bella, that's what I told myself. But they were all human beings. I looked into their eyes as they died and I saw who I was, and what I was capable of. Bella: And what I'll be capable of. Why are you telling me this tonight? Did you really think this was gonna change my mind about you? Edward: I just wondered if it would change your mind about yourself, and who you wanna see when you look in the mirror a year from now. (Bella gets up off the bed and goes to stand by Edward.) Bella: I know I can do this. Let me tell you why. Because you did. You should give yourself some credit for that. Now, hopefully, a year from now, I'm gonna look in the mirror and see someone like you. I mean, someone capable of courage and sacrifice and love. (Bella and Edward kiss. Bella hears a noise outside her window.) (Emmett whistles) Bella: What is that? Emmett: Come on! Let's go! Edward: I'm late for my bachelor party. (Emmett jumps up to the window.) Emmett: Send him out, Bella, or we're coming in after him. (Emmett jumps down from the window. Bella pulls away from Edward.) Bella: So, this party. Will there be strippers? Edward: No, just a couple of mountain lions. Maybe a few bears. (Jasper jumps up to the window.) Jasper: Don't worry, Bella, we'll give him back in plenty of time. (Jasper jumps down from the window and Emmett playfully shoves Jasper, and Jasper shoves back. Back to Bella and Edward.) Bella: Okay, go, before they break my house. Emmett: Let's go! Let's go! (Edward walks over to the window, looks out it, then turns and faces Bella again.) Edward: I'll meet you at the altar. Bella: I'll be the one in white. Edward: That was very convincing. (Bella laughs. Edward jumps out the window and playfully shoves his brothers. Bella looks out the window. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward laugh and then run off. Bella looks after them, and then goes back into her room. She turns one of her lamps off and then walks over to the bed. Bella gets into her bed and turns off the lamp right beside her bed. She lies down and falls asleep.) (Alice is putting on Bella's makeup.) Alice: What did I say about beauty sleep? Bella: Sorry, bad dream. It was wedding jitters. Rosalie: Do you need some help? I could do her hair. Bella: Really? Rosalie: Please. I'm not offended by your choice of groom. Bella: Just my blatant lack of respect for mortality. Rosalie: Essentially. Alice: Weddings. They bring everyone together. (Charlie is looking at the Cullen's wall of graduation caps with curiosity.) Renee: Hey, so, did you find our daughter? Charlie: Are those graduation caps? (Renee turns and looks at the caps.) Renee: How creative! Charlie: Or weird. Renee: Alice? Bella? Bella: ln here, Mom. (Renee sees Bella all made up.) Renee: Oh, my gosh! You're so beautiful. Oh, honey. (She starts crying.) Renee: Crap! My mascara. Bella: Mom! (Alice hands Renee a handkerchief.) Renee: Thanks. Charlie, get in here. Charlie: You sure? I don't wanna... (Charlie walks into the room wearing his wedding tux.) Charlie: I know. I look hot. (Laughing) Charlie: We thought you needed something blue. (Charlie opens the gift box containing a jeweled hair comb.) Charlie: And something old. Besides your mother. Renee: Nice. Charlie: It was Grandma Swan's. (Bella picks up the comb.) Renee: But we added the sapphires. Bella: It's beautiful, you guys. Wow. Thank you so much. (Bella gives it to Alice to put in her hair.) Renee: It's your first family heirloom. Pass on to your daughter, and her daughter. (Renee starts to cry again.) Bella: Mom, I love it. (As she goes to kiss her parents, Alice stops her.) Alice: Nope. No smudging my masterpiece. Renee: She's right. Alice: Okay. Time for the dress! Do you wanna see it? Renée: I want to see it! (Classical music playing) (They are waiting for the wedding to begin.) Eric: They have got to be related. Mike: What a gene pool. Eric: Seriously. You've got some... The drool. Jessica: So, you think Bella's gonna be showing? Angela: Jess, she is not pregnant. Jessica: Okay. Who else gets married at 1 8? (Bella is very nervous as they are about to walk down the aisle.) Charlie: You ready? Bella: Yeah. Just don't let me fall, Dad. Charlie: Never. (They are at the altar.) Minister: Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here on this glorious day to witness the union of Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. Please repeat after me. Edward: I, Edward Cullen. Minister: Take you, Bella Swan. Edward: Take you, Bella Swan. Minister: To have and to hold. Edward: To have and to hold. Bella: For better or for worse. Edward:For richer, for poorer. Bella: ln sickness and in health. Edward: To love. Bella: To cherish. As long as we both shall live. Edward:I do. Bella: I do. Edward: I love you Bella: I love you too (They kiss and everyone stands and claps.) (After at the reception, Jessica and the others are staring at the gigantic wedding cake.) Jessica: Just thought it'd be bigger. Eric: Yeah. (Alice walks over to them.) Jessica: Hi! Alice: Hi, guys. Jessica: We were just saying how pretty everything is, you know, just saying. Alice: Well, thanks so much. You don't think it's too much? Eric: No. Not at all. Jessica: No. No. (Edward and Bella are with Billy.) Edward: Nice to see you. Billy: I'm happy for you. Edward: Thank you. Billy: I hope you'll be happy, Bella. Bella: Thank you, Billy. Have you heard from him? Billy: I'm sure Jake wishes you the best. Well, I plan on getting drunk. They're serving up some pretty fancy champagne. Sue, can I get you a glass? Sue: Sparkling fre water. Sounds great. Carmen: Bella. Congratulations, Edward. Edward: Thank you. Bella. Bella: Eleazar and Carmen, right? Carmen: Mmm-hmm. Hola. Edward: Yes, and these are our cousins from Alaska. Tanya, Kate. Kate: We've heard so much about you. Eleazar: Welcome to the family. Bienvenida. Bella: Thank you. Irina. Carmen: Come meet Bella. (Irina is staring at Billy and Seth, she turns walks over to Carmen.) Irina: I can't do this. Tanya: You promised. Irina: They invited one. Edward: Irina, he's our friend. Irina: They klled Laurent. Edward: He tried to kll Bella. Irina: I don't believe that. He wanted to be like us. To live in peace with humans. With me. Edward: I'm sorry. (Irina walks away.) Carmen: Irina! Eleazar: Well. Let's not monopolize the bride. Congratulations. Bella: Thank you. Tanya: Sorry. (They walk away.) Edward: Well, what's a wedding without some family drama? Bella: Yeah. (Emmett is getting ready to give a toast.) Emmett: Excuse me. Is this on? Hello? Umm, I'd like to propose a toast. To my new sister. Bella, I hope you've gotten enough sleep these last 18 years. 'Cause you won't be getting any more for a while. (He laughs and everyone looks at him awkwardly.) (Jessica is giving her toast.) Jessica: Well, Bella was just like everybody else, totally mesmerized by Edward. Or "The Hair," as I call him. And then, suddenly, Edward is all about Bella. Even though she's not the captain of the volleyball team. (She laughs.) Jessica: I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Or the president of the student council. (Charlie is giving his toast.) Charlie: Edward will be a good husband. I know this because I'm a cop. I know things. Like how to hunt somebody to the ends of the Earth. (Guests laughing) (Alice is giving her toast.) Alice: Now that you're my sister, you'll have to get over your aversion to fashion. (Charlie's toast) Charlie: And I know how to use a gn. (Alice's toast.) Alice: Skirts, heels, handbags. (Singing) Renee: Go to sleep, my love. Go to sleep. When you wake you'll see me. (Esme is giving her toast.) Esme: I'd like to thank Renée and Charlie for bringing such a wonderful person into the world and into our lives. We will cherish and protect her forever. (Edward is giving his toast.) Edward: It's an extraordinary thing to meet someone who you can bare your soul to. And who will accept you for what you are. I've been waiting, what seems like a very long time, to get beyond what I am. And with Bella, I feel like I can finally begin. So I'd like to propose a toast to my beautiful bride. No measure of time with you will be long enough. But let's start with forever. (Edward takes Bella away from the crowd.) Seth: Whoa! Edward: Another one of your gifts just arrived. Bella: What? Edward: Yeah, come on. Bella: What's a wedding present doing out here? Edward: Just a little more private. (Suddenly Jacob appears ahead of them.) Jacob: The best man didn't have time to get a tux. Bella: Jacob! Jacob. (She runs towards him and jumps into his arms to hug him.) (Both laughing) Bella: Hey. Jacob: Hey, Bella. Edward: Hey. Bella: This is kind of you. Jacob: Kind is my middle name. Edward: I'll see if Rosalie wants to dance. (Edward leaves.) Jacob: I'm sorry I'm late. Bella: Doesn't matter. Everything's perfect now. Jacob: Will you dance with me? (She steps closer to him and he picks her up to twirl her and then they start dancing.) Bella: Where have you been? We were gonna put your face on a milk carton. Jacob: Mostly northern Canada. I think. It's weird to be back on two legs again, in clothes. Gotten out of practice with the whole human thing. Bella: Are you okay? Being here? Jacob: Why? Afraid I'll trash your party? You're not the only one. You'd think I'd be used to telling you goodbye by now. (Bella starts crying.) Jacob: Come on, you're not supposed to be the one crying, Bella. Bella: Everyone cries at weddings. Jacob: This is how I'm gonna remember you. Pink cheeks. Two left feet. (He picks her up and twirls her and sets her down again.) Jacob: Heartbeat. Bella: 'Cause what, soon I'm gonna be dad to you? Jacob: No. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to appreciate your last night as a human. Bella: Well, it's not my last night. Jacob: I thought you... Bella: I didn't really wanna spend my honeymoon writhing in pain. Jacob: What's the point? It's not like you're gonna have a real honeymoon with him, anyway. Bella: It's gonna be as real as anyone else's. Jacob: That's a sick joke. (Bella gives him a look of confusion.) Jacob: You are joking? (Bella still looks confused.) Jacob: What? While you're still human? You can't be serious, Bella. Tell me you're not that stupid. Bella: I mean, it's really none of your business. (Suddenly he takes hold of her arms.) Jacob: No! You can't do this! Bella: Jake. Jacob: Listen to me, Bella. Bella: Jake, let me go! (Suddenly Edward appears.) Edward: Jacob, calm down, all right? Jacob: Are you out of your mind? Huh? You'll kll her! (As Jacob freaks out, Sam and the other werewolves come over to break up the commotion.) Sam: Walk away, Jake. Enough, Jacob! Jacob: Stay out of this, Sam. Sam: You're not gonna start something that we'll have to finish. Jacob: She'll die. Sam: She's not our concern anymore. Let's go, Seth! (Sam and the other werewolves leave and Jacob reluctantly follows them.) Bella: I'm really, really, really stupid. Edward: No, it's all right. Come on, people are probably missing us. Let's go back. (Bella and Edward are about to leave to go on their honeymoon.) Renee: So, he really won't tell you where he's taking you? Bella: No, it's a surprise. Renee: Well, wear a hat. Sunscreen. Take care of yourself. Bella: I will. Renee: Okay. (Renee hugs Bella.) Renee: I love you, Bella. Bella: I love you. Renee: So much. Bella: Thank you. Charlie: Everything's packed and ready to go. Bella: Cool. Renee: Oh. I'm gonna go see him. Yeah. (Renee leaves.) Bella: Dad. Charlie: Well... It's gonna be strange, you not living under my roof. Bella: Yeah. It's gonna be strange for me, too. Charlie: You know it will always be your home, right? (Bella nods her head.) Bella: I love you, Dad. Forever. (She hugs Charlie.) Charlie: I love you, too, Bells. I always have and I always will. All right. Go on. You don't wanna miss your plane. Wherever it's going. Bella: Okay. Bye. Edward: You ready? Bella: Yeah, I'm ready. (Quiet Road) Edward: Please pull over. Bella: So, we're not staying in Rio? Edward: No, we're just passing through. Bella: Are we close? Edward: That's lsle Esme. It was a gift from Carlisle. (After they arrive on Isle Esme, Edward picks Bella up to carry her over the threshold.) Bella: ls this totally necessary? Edward: I am nothing if not traditional. You wanna take a look around? You tired? (Sighing) Edward: Do you wanna go for a swim? Bella: Yeah, that sounds nice. I could use a few human minutes. Edward: Don't take too long, Mrs. Cullen. Bella: Okay. (Bella, who's naked, joins Edward in the sea.) Edward: You're so beautiful. (She turns to face him and they kiss.) Bella: Don't be a coward. (Scoffs) (Romantic music playing) Edward: I promised we'd try. If this doesn't work... (He shakes his head.) Bella: I trust you. Tu vida... (They kiss again.) (Romantic music playing) (Giggling) (Both breathing heavily) (The next morning after they've made love, Bella stands in front of a mirror remembering the previous night.) Edward: How badly are you hurt? Bella: What? (He shows her the bruises on her arm but she turns.) Edward: No, Bella, look. (He pulls her robe down her shoulder and shows her the bruises on her shoulder.) Edward: Bella, I can't tell you how sorry I am. (He turns and walks away and she follows him.) Bella: I'm not. Really, I'm not. I'm fine. Edward: Don't say you're fine. Just don't. Bella: No, you don't. Don't ruin this. Edward: I've already ruined it. Bella: Why can't you see how perfectly happy I am? Or was five seconds ago. I mean, now I'm sort of pissed off, actually. Edward: You should be angry with me. Bella: I mean, we knew this was gonna be tricky, right? I think we did amazing. I mean, it was amazing for me. Edward: That's what you're worried about? That I didn't enjoy myself? Bella: I know it's not the same for you, but for a human, I can't imagine that it gets any better than that. Edward: Last night was the best night of my existence. Bella: You're the best. (They kiss for a bit but Edward eventually pulls himself away.) Bella: You're not gonna touch me again, are you? (He touches her face.) Bella: You know that's not what I mean. Edward: Let me make you breakfast. (He walks away from her.) (Bella wakes up crying.) Edward: Bella? You having a nightmare? Bella: No. (She turns to face him.) Bella: It was just a dream. It was a really good dream. Edward: Then why are you crying? Bella: Because I wanted it to be real. Edward: Tell me. (She brings him towards her and kisses him.) Edward: Bella, I can't. Bella: Please. (He gives in to her and they make love.) (Emily's House) Jacob: Maybe they'll say she was in a car crash. Or tripped and fell off a cliff. Paul: Keep it in play! Keep it in play! Come on! Come on! Come on! Jacob: At least I'll get one thing out of it. Sam: No, you won't. Cullens are not a danger to the town or the tribe. Jacob: Well, he's either gonna kll her or change her. And the treaty says... Sam: I say, Jacob. I say. Embry: You know, if you wanted things different, you should've become alpha. Jacob: Turning it down seemed like a good idea at the time. Set: Jake, you really think you could kll Bella if she comes back a vampire? Leah: No, make one of us do it, then hold a grudge against us. Jacob: Shut up, Leah. Leah: Would you just get over it? It's not like you've imprinted on her. (They look over at the werewolves who have imprinted on their soulmates.) Seth: At least they seem happy. Embry: Yeah, some people are just lucky, I guess. Jacob: Lucky? None of them belong to themselves anymore. And the sickest part is their genes tell them they're happy about it. Leah: Least if you imprinted on someone, you'd finally forget about Bella. I mean, being any kind of happy is better than being miserable about someone you can't have. (Edward and Bell arrive home.) Edward: Bella, these are our housekeepers, Gustavo and Kaure. (Speaking Portuguese) Edward: This is my wife Bella. Excuse me. Well, I guess we just leave them to it. Bella: What was that all about? Edward: She's afraid for you. Bella: Why? Edward: Because I have you here all alone. Bella: You mean she knows about you? Edward: She suspects. She's native Ticuna. They have legends about blood-drinking demons who prey on beautiful women. (He kisses her and as they are kissing the housekeepers walk in on them looking shocked.) (Bell has been throwing up in the bathroom.) Edward: Bella? Bella: Hey, don't come in here. You don't need to see this. (He walks into the bathroom and kneels in front of her.) Edward: "ln sickness and health," remember? Bella: It must have been the chicken. Could you grab my bag? (He gets her bag and brings it to her, she sees her box of Tampax and pauses to think.) Edward: What is it? Bella: How many days has it been since the wedding? Edward: Fourteen. Why? (Bella doesn't reply.) Edward: Will you tell me what's going on? Bella: I'm late. My period, it's late. (She walks over to the mirror and looks at her stomach.) Edward: That's impossible. Bella: Can this happen? (Suddenly she feels movement in her stomach.) Bella: Whoa! (Bella talks to Alice on the phone.) Alice: Bella? Are you all right? Bella: I'm not 100% sure. Alice: Why? What's wrong? I just... Bella: You just what? Alice, what did you see? Alice: Here's Carlisle. Carlisle: Bella, what's going on? Bella: I don't know. I'm a little worried. Can vampires go into shock? Carlisle: Has Edward been harmed? Bella: No. I know that it's impossible, but I think that I'm pregnant. (Suddenly she feels another movement in her stomach.) Bella: Whoa! Carlisle, I swear, something just moved inside me. (Edward grabs the phone from her.) Edward: ls this even possible? Carlisle: I don't know. Bella: What's he saying? Carlisle: The sooner Bella's here, the sooner we can find out what it is. I need you to get to the mainland at once. Edward: Yeah, yeah, I will. Bella: Well? Damn it. (After Bella's found out she's pregnant, the housekeeper comes in to make sure Edward hasn't hurt her.) Edward: Kaure's making sure you're still alive. Kaure: What did you do with her? Edward: What do you know about this? Kaure: I know that you are a demon! You klled this little girl! Bella: What? Edward: Her people have legends. She might have seen this before. (To the housekeeper.) Edward: Please. Tell me how to help her. Kaure: You only do bad. Edward: I am begging you. I will do anything. I love her. Please. Tell me how she can survive this. (The housekeeper walks over to Bella and touches her stomach then looks at Bella.) Kaure: Death. (The housekeeper walks out.) Edward: I'm not gonna let it hurt you. Carlisle will get that thing out. (He gets their bag and walks out leaving Bella looking dismayed.) Bella: Thing? Edward: Wait here while we load. (Bella calls Rosalie) Rosalie: Hello? Bella: Rosalie. Rosalie: Bella? What's going on? Bella: I need your help. (Jacob's House) Billy: Hey, Son. Jacob: What's going on? (Referring to Charlie.) Billy: Bella called him. Charlie: Hey, haven't seen you in a while. You okay? Jacob: So, you finally heard from Bella? Charlie: They're extending their trip. Seems she caught a bug. They wanna wait until she feels better before they travel. Jacob: She's sick? Charlie: Yeah, she told me not to worry, but she sounded, I don't know, off. Billy: She'll be okay, Charlie. Come on. Let's eat. Jacob, let it go. (Jacob goes to the Cullen's house as soon as he hears that Bella is sick.) Jacob: ls it true? Rosalie: Hello, Jacob, how are you? Jacob: Listen, just give it to me straight. Bella: Jake, is that you? Jacob: She's here? Rosalie: They came home two weeks ago. Bella: Jake. I'm glad you came. (Jacob walks closer to Bella but Rosalie who is standing in front of her stops him.) Rosalie: Close enough. Jacob: What's your problem? Bella: Rose, it's okay. (He sits beside Beall who's sitting on the couch covered by a quilt.) Jacob: You look terrible. Bella: Yeah, it's nice to see you, too. Jacob: So, are you gonna tell me what's wrong with you? Bella: Rose, you wanna help me up? (She stands up with Rosalie's help and Jacob sees she has a huge pregnant belly.) Jacob: You did this! Carlisle: I didn't know it was even possible. Jacob: What is it? Carlisle: I'm not sure. Ultrasounds and needles won't penetrate the embryonic sac. Alice: I can't see it, either. And I can't see Bella's future anymore. Carlisle: We've been researching legends, but there isn't much to go on. What we do know is that it's strong. And fast-growing. Jacob: Why haven't you done anything? Take it out of her! Rosalie: This is none of your business, dog. Esme: Rose! All this fighting isn't good for Bella. Alice: The fetus isn't good for Bella. Rosalie: Say the word, Alice. "Baby." It's just a little baby. Jasper: Possibly. Jacob: Carlisle, you've gotta do something. Bella: No. It's not his decision. It's not any of yours. Edward: Jacob, I need to talk to you. (Edward walks out and Jacob follows him.) Jacob: I always knew you'd destroy her. Edward: She thinks Carlisle can turn her at the last minute, like he did for me and Esme. Jacob: Can he? Edward: Probability is slight. And if her heart fails... (He doesn't finish the sentence.) Edward: Look, Jacob, I need you to do something for me. (Jacob gives a bitter laugh and turns from him.) Edward: For her. You have a connection with her that I'll never understand. Maybe you could talk to her, change her mind. You can keep her alive. Jacob: And if I can't? Edward: If she dies, you get what you always wanted. To kll me. (Back inside, Jacob comes in.) Bella: Rose, I'm fine, really. So, Edward sent you in here to talk to me? Jacob: Sort of. Though I can't figure out why he thinks you'd listen to me. I mean, you never have before. (Both laugh) Jacob: Since when are you and blondie BFFs? Bella: Rose understands what I want. Jacob: What are you thinking, Bella? Seriously. Bella: I know this seems like a scary thing, but it's not. It's like this miracle or something. I can feel him. Jacob: So, it's a bouncing baby boy. I'm sorry I didn't know. Should've brought some blue balloons. Bella: It's just a guess. When I picture him, I see a boy. We'll see. Jacob: You won't. Bella: Jake, I can do this. I'm strong enough. Jacob: Come on. You can spout that crap to your bloodsucker, but you don't fool me. I can see what that thing's doing to you. It's a kller, Bella. Bella: You're wrong. Jacob: And when you die, what was the point? Of me loving you, you loving him. How is that right for anyone? Because I sure don't see it. Listen to me, Bella. Please. Just don't do this. Live, okay? Please. Bella: Jake, everything's gonna be okay. (Jacob gets up to leave.) Bella: Jacob, don't go. Jacob: I know how this ends. And I'm not sticking around to watch. (Jacob turns and leaves.) (Jacob and the others gather in their wolf form communicating through their thoughts.) Wolves: Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Paul: Is it true, Jacob? Quil: What will it be? Paul: It's growing fast. Leah: It's unnatural. Jared: Dangerous. Quil: Monstrosity. Paul: An abomination. Quil: On ourland. Jared: We can't allow it. Quil: We can't allow it. Paul: We can't allow it. Wolves: We can't allow it. Sam: We have to protect the tribe. What they've bred won't be able to control its thirst. Every human will be in danger. Jared: We're ready. Leah: No time to waste. Jacob: Now? Sam: We must destroy it before it's born. Seth: You mean, kll Bella? Sam: Her choice affects us all. Jacob: Bella's human. Our protection applies to her. Leah: She's dying anyway! (Jacob attcks Leah and they start fighting.) (Sam stops Jacob and Leah from fighting.) Sam: We have real enemies to fight tonight. Jacob: Tonight? Sam: You will fight with us, Jake. Jacob: (Straining) I will not. I am the grandson of Ephraim Black. I am the grandson of a chief! I wasn't born to follow you, or anyone else. (Jacob takes off.) (After Jacob leaves the wolf pack now in his human form.) Seth: Don't worry. They're not following us. Jacob: What do you think you're doing here? Seth: I left Sam's pack. Jacob: Go home, Seth. Seth: I won't stand behind him. Jacob: Oh, yes, you will. I'm not kidding. Get out of here. Seth: ls that an order? Gonna make me bow down, too? Jacob: I'm not ordering anyone. Look, I'm just going off on my own here, okay? Seth: Great, and I've got your back. Jacob: No, you don't. If Sam comes after Bella, are you really ready to fight your own brothers? Your sister? Seth: If it's the right thing to do. Jacob: Whatever. I'm gonna go give the Cullens a heads-up. Do what you want. (Jacob turns and leaves and Seth follows him.) Seth: How cool is this? Two-man pack. Two against the world. Jacob: You're getting on my nerves, Seth. Seth: I'll shut up. Can do. (Jacob approaches Edward outside the Cullen house.) Jacob: Get ready. They're coming for Bella. Edward: They're not gonna touch her. Jacob: Agreed. (Leah and Seth approach.) Leah: Man, I can smell them from all the way out here. Jacob: What the hell are you doing here? Leah: I'm not gonna let my little brother get himself klled. Seth: Go away, Leah! I can take care of myself. Leah: That you think so proves you need a babysitter. Jacob: Okay, would the both of you shut up? Did Sam send you? Leah: Sam doesn't even know I left. (Wolves howling) Seth: I think he just figured it out. Leah: Jake. I know what his plan is. (Inside the Cullen house.) Jacob: Sam's lost the element of surprise, and he doesn't want to take you on outnumbered, so he's not gonna come at you head on. He's got the place surrounded and he'll wait for his opportunity. Emmett: We won't get through without a fight. Carlisle: No fights. We won't be the ones to break the treaty. Jacob: The treaty is void, at least in Sam's mind. Esme: Not in ours. Emmett: Carlisle, no one's hunted for weeks. Esme: We'll make do. Jacob: You've done us a great service, Jacob. Thank you. (At night, standing outside the Cullen's house.) Jacob: I know they're out there somewhere, but I can't hear them anymore. It's so quiet. Leah: I stopped hearing them, too, the second I decided to leave. It's nice. Jacob: You know you can't stay here. Leah: But I don't have any place... Jacob: I can't trust you with the Cullens. You hate them too much. You don't even like me. LEAH: I don't have to. I just have to follow you. Jacob: Look, Seth doesn't want you here. Neither do I. Leah: Being unwanted isn't exactly a new thing for me. (Jacob doesn't reply.) Leah: Look, I'll stay out of your way. I'll do whatever you want, except go back to Sam's pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he can't get away from. You don't know how many times I wished I could imprint on someone. Anyone. Jacob: Just to break the connection. (She nods her head in agreement.) Jacob: All right. I'm gonna do a perimeter run. (Looking at X-rays of the fetus in Bella.) Carlisle: Your rib is cracked. But there are no splinters. You haven't punctured anything. Edward: Yet. Carlisle: Edward. Edward: It's breaking her bones now. It's crushing you from the inside out. Carlisle, tell her what you told me. Tell her. Bella: Carlisle, tell me. It's all right. Carlisle: The fetus isn't compatible with your body. It's too strong. It won't allow you to get the nutrition you need. It's starving you by the hour. I can't stop it, and I can't slow it down. At this rate, your heart will give out before you can deliver. Bella: Then I'll hold on as long as I can, and then... Carlisle: Bella. There are some conditions that even venom can't overcome. You understand? I'm sorry. Bella: Edward, I'm sorry. Edward: I can't live without you. Bella: You won't. You're gonna have a part of me. He'll need you. Edward: Do you honestly think that I could love it or even tolerate it if it klled you? Bella: It's not his fault. You have to accept what is. Edward: Because you've given me no choice! Bella, we're supposed to be partners, remember? But you decided this on your own. You've decided to leave me. Bella: Don't see it that way. Edward: Well, I have no other way to see it. 'Cause it's me who'll lose you. And I don't choose that. I don't choose that. (He turns an leaves.) Edward: Are you cold? Jacob: I got it. Bella: Don't do that. Jacob: What? Bella: Smile like I'm your favorite person in the world. Jacob: You're one of them. Bella: Feels complete when you're here, Jake. (Bella looks like she's about to be sick again.) Esme: We need to find a way to get some food into her system. Alice: If I could only see the fetus... Rosalie: The baby. ... Alice: Maybe I could figure out what it wants. Edward: Think you might be right. Jacob just had an idea. Jacob: It wasn't an idea. It was a snide comment. Bella: What were you thinking? Jacob: That it's probably just looking for someone to sink its teeth into. Bella: He's thirsty. Edward: I know the feeling. If it's craving, it's not gonna want animal blood. Carlisle: I have some O negative laid aside for Bella. Walk with me. (Carlisle is pouring blood into a cup for Bella to drink.) Jacob: Wait, wait, wait. You're gonna make her drink that? Carlisle: It's the fastest way to test the theory. Edward: Only if you're comfortable with it. Bella: I'll try anything. Edward: Just hold on. Jacob: I think I'm gonna be sick. (They watch Bella drink the blood.) Bella: Tastes... good. (Edward smiles at her and Bella drinks more of the blood.) Bella: Mmm. (Carlisle takes her pulse.) Carlisle: Your pulse is already getting stronger. Esme: It's working. (Bella is on the phone with Charlie.) Charlie: Well, you sound better. Bella: I am. I feel much better. Charlie: This whole thing must've put a kink in the honeymoon, huh? Bella: You could say that. Charlie: Otherwise, married life treating you okay? Edward still walks on water and all that? Bella: Yeah, but, I mean, it is different now. Charlie: The important thing is that you're better. And that you're coming home soon, right? Bella: Okay, Dad, I don't want you to freak out, but I'm going to a medical center in Switzerland. Charlie: What? No, no, you're not. You're not going to Switzerland. What are you... You said you were better. Bella: I am. Charlie: No, Bella. I'm getting on a plane. No. Bella: No. It's really more of a spa. And I'm sure that I'd be better by the time you got there anyway. Charlie: Bells... I don't know. Bella: Dad, don't come. And picture me healthy, like I'm sitting on the couch with you, eating pizza or something. Charlie: You want me to visualize? Bella: They say that it helps. Just picture me like that. Like I was. It'll make me feel better. Dad, I got to go, okay? Charlie: Bella. Bella: I love you. Charlie: Bella... (Bella hangs up.) Edward: I'm sorry I've been so angry. Bella: I would be, too. Edward: I've left you alone in this. Bella: Marriage. Edward: Well, they say the first year is the hardest. What was that? Bella: What? Edward: I thought I just heard... (He puts his hand on Bella's stomach.) Edward: Just say something else. Bella: Like what? (Edward smiles.) Bella: Edward, what's going on? Edward: He likes the sound of your voice. Bella: You can hear him? Edward: And mine. He likes my voice as well. Bella: What? What do you hear? Edward: It's so strange. I thought he was like me, but he's not. He's like you. Good and pure. He's happy. Bella: Of course you are. Of course you're happy. How could you not be? I love you so much. What do you hear now? Edward: He loves you, Bella. Bella: Oh, my gosh. (Bella starts to cry with happiness as Edward kisses her stomach.) (Referring to the bags of blood for Bella.) Jacob: So, that's the last of it? Carlisle: Bella could deliver as early as tomorrow. If she's going to have any chance at all, she'll need more blood. Esme: And you need to feed. You have to be at your strongest for her. We need to go tonight. Jacob: Carlisle, you're the enemy now. Sam won't hesitate. You will be slaughtered. Esme: Emmett will come with us. Jacob: That won't be enough. Carlisle: We have no choice, Jacob. If there's anything we can do to save her, we have to try. Jacob: You'd risk your lives for her? Esme: Of course we would. Bella's a part of our family now. Jacob: Yeah. I can see that. This really is a family. As strong as the one I was born into. I know what I have to do. Seth: Jake! They're coming. Jacob: I know. Seth: We should phase, Jacob. We can't protect ourselves like this. Jacob: They'll see it as a thrat. I wanna talk! Be easier if I could hear you, too. (Spits) (Meeting Sam's pack near the Cullen's house.) Paul: This isn't your territory anymore. How's the new family working out? Jacob: You done? Quil: You coming home, Jake? Jacob: Not until I finish this. Paul: What do you mean? Jacob: I want Sam to take back Leah and Seth. Leah: What? Seth: No way! Jacob: Quiet! (Turning to Sam's pack.) Jacob: I want them safe. And I want this over. I need Sam to wait until Bella's been separated from the problem. Paul: You mean till she's dad. Embry: Ease up, Paul. Paul: Then what? Jacob: Tell Sam that when the moment comes, I'll be the one to destroy it. Seth: Jake! Jacob: I'm the only one who can. They trust me. (After Jacob has distracted Sam and his pack so that the Cullen's can get out of their house and get more blood.) Bella: Hey. Are you okay? Jacob: Yeah, it's not like I'm the one carrying a demon. Rosalie: This is pretty important, Bella. Why don't you tell Jacob what you've decided? Jacob: What now? Edward: Rose is trying to talk Bella out of her baby names. Bella: She hates them. Jacob: Well, then I'm on your side no matter what you picked. Bella: They're not that bad. If it's a boy, EJ. Edward Jacob. Rosalie: Okay, fine, that one's not awful. Why don't you tell him the girl's name? Bella: I was playing around with our moms' names. Renée and Esme. And I was thinking... Renesmee. Jacob: Renesmee Bella: Too weird? Jacob: Um... Edward: No, that's not too weird. It's beautiful. And it's unique, which certainly fits the situation. I like Renesmee. Bella: He likes it. (Bella goes to take a drink of blood but suddenly her back breaks and she falls to the floor.) (After Bella's back is broken she's gone into labor.) Edward: Rosalie, pass the morphine. (Alice is talking on the phone to Carlisle.) Alice: Carlisle said the placenta must have detached. (Edward gives Bella the morphine sht.) Alice: He's coming as fast as he can, but... Rosalie: We'll have to do it. (Rosalie takes a scalpel to cut Bella's stomach open but Edward stops her.) Edward: Rose! Let the morphine spread. Rosalie: There's no time. He's dying. Bella: Get him out now! (Rosalie cuts her stomach.) Jacob: Look at me, Bella. (Bella screaming) (Rosalie cuts Bella's stomach as the sight of blood distracts her.) Edward: Rosalie, don't! (Edward pushes Rosalie aside.) Edward: Alice, get her out of here! Bella: (Exclaims) Rosalie! Ow! (Screams) Jacob: Save her! You've got to change her! Edward: I can't, not whilst he's still in there. I got to get him out first. Jacob: Stay, Bella. Stay focused. Keep your heart beating. Bella: No! He's suffocating! (Edward rips the embryonic sac with his teeth and pulls the baby out.) Edward: Okay. Hey. Hey, hey. It's Renesmee. Bella: You're beautiful. (Edward gives the baby to Bella but the baby bites her and Edward takes her back after which Bella appears to die.) Jacob: Bella? Bella? Bella! (As Jacob tries to give Bealla CPR.) Edward: Jacob, take the baby. Jacob: Keep that away from me! (Rosalie walks back in the room.) Rosalie: Edward. I'll take her. I promise I'm okay. Let me. (Edward gives the baby to Rosalie and takes out a syringe and injects Bella with it.) Jacob: What is that? Edward: It's my venom. (The venom doesn't work so Edward gives Bella CPR.) Edward: You're okay. Come on. It's supposed to be working. Jacob: Oh, my God. Edward: Come on. Bella, come on. (Bella continues to be unresponsive and looking dad.) Jacob: I won't kll you. That'd be too easy. You deserve to live with this. (In tears Jacob leaves the room as Edward continues to give Bella CPR.) Edward: You're not dad. You're not dad. Come on! No, it will work. It will work. Please, please, please, please. Come back to me, please, baby. Bella, Bella, please, please. (Bella looks dad on the outside but we can see the venom is moving inside her body.) Billy: I don't care what he's done. He's still my son. Sam: I'm sorry, Billy. I just thought you should know. (We see Paul whispering something to Sam.) Sam: Bella's dad. It klled her. Let's go! (As Jacob makes eye contact with Renesmee for the first time, he imprints on her, seeing her future from child to a grown woman.) Jacob (V.O.): It's like gravity. Your whole center shifts. Suddenly, it's not the Earth holding you here. You would do anything, be anything she needs. A friend, a brother. A protector. (As the wolves surround the house getting ready for a fight.) Jasper: We're outnumbered. Alice: By a lot. Edward: I won't let them hurt my family. (Suddenly the wolves attck them and they try to fight them off.) (Jacob jumps into the fray of the battle of wolves against the Cullen's.) Jacob: Stop! It's over! If you kll her, you kll me. (One of the wolves tries to attck again but Jacob turns into a wolf and stops them, Edward realizes what's happened.) Edward: Jacob imprinted. They can't hurt her. Whoever a wolf imprints on can't be harmed. It's their most absolute law. (Bella still appears to be dad, the Cullen's bathe and dress her in fresh clothes.) Edward: She shouldn't be this still. Carlisle: It's the morphine. Edward: Maybe I was too late. Carlisle: No, Edward. Listen to her heart. (We see Bella's hair slowly thicken, her body filling out and healing, we see flashbacks of her life all the way to her parents holding her as a child, then we see Bella's face as her eyes POP OPEN TO REVEAL VAMPIRE EYES.) (A girl brings the three Volturi a message on a silver platter, Aro takes the message.) Aro: Oh, its from Carlisle. Which is spelt with and S, sweet Bianca. (He motions for his guards who appear beside Bianca. Aro reads the message.) Aro: He's added a new member to his coven. Marcus: Ah. Caius: Increasing his power. (Suddenly Aro's guards drag Bianca away as she screams.) Aro: First it's the spelling, then the grammar. (He hands the message to Marcus.) Marcus: At least our dispute with the Cullens is over. Aro: Over? Marcus: Mmm. Aro: Goodness, no. Our dispute goes far beyond the fate of a mere human. Caius: And what might it be? Aro: Why, brother, I thought you understood. They have something I want.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Twilight Saga, The: Breaking Dawn Part 1", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
[ EXT. SEATTLE – NIGHT ] (Aerial sht approaching the city) [ EXT. PIKE PLACE MARKET, SEATTLE – NIGHT (1 YEAR AGO) ] (Rain comes down in sheets, slapping the cobblestone. Bright lights from the surrounding bars, reflected off the wet stones. The dull thud of rock music wafts out. A bar door opens – the music briefly blasts out as a young man exits; he is Riley, 22, genial, handsome, a university student full of promise. He pauses under the awning, preparing to face the rain. He slings a messenger bag over his shoulder laden with thick school texts. He waves to his friends in the window before heading into the downpour.) Bella (V.O.): Some say the world will end in fre. Some say in ice... [ ANOTHER STREET ] (Dark, deserted. Riley makes his way up to it. Suddenly, a SHADOW flies past him, moving at an unhuman speed. Riley pauses... what was that? Unnerved, he speeds his step, about to round a corner but suddenly something leaps over him, knocking him backward to the ground! It moves so fast we, again, saw only a brief SHADOW, Riley panics now...) Riley: Who's there? (No response. Riley bolts in a different direction) [ YET ANOTHER STREET ] (Riley runs, beelining toward the end of the street at which stands an apartment building with a brightly lit lobby and a security guard. Safety.) [ EXT. WATERFRONT – NIGHT ] (Riley finds himself on the deserted boardwalk. Beyond the trail, black water. A dad end. He turns realzing he's utterly alone. He's been herded here. He searches the darkness for whatever's chasing him) Riley: Who's there?. What do you want?. (the shadow darts pas him; Riley YANKS his hand back) Riley: OH GOD! (He grips his hand in pain, looks at it to find a crescent moon shape on his palm, blood seeping out. He's been ht!) (His confusion and terror turn to agony as the venom from the bite crawls up his arm. Riley drops to his knees crying out in pain. Then falls, writhing as the venom spreads throughout his body, changing him, klling his humanity.) (His tortured cries go unheard as we push in on the crescent moon on his hand, over which we hear...) Bella (V.O.): From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fre. But if I had to perish twice... (MATCH CUT – Bella'S forearm – On her crescent moon star—whiter than her already pale skin. Edward's lips move into frame, kissing the scar.) [ EXT. MEADOW – DAY (PRESENT DAY) ] (Bella and Edward, lying in the grass. Bella reads aloud from a book of Robert Frost poetry...) Bella: I think I know enough of hate, To say that, for destruction, Ice, is also great. And would suffice. (Edward teasingly pulls the book away, moves to kiss her. She stops him) (Bella You know, I've got an English final. I gotta focus.) (He grins, kisses her anyway. The SUN BRIEFLY COMES OUT from behind the clouds, causing Edward's skin to sparkle, making the kiss appear magical. He pulls away smiling...) Edward: Marry me. (She laughs. It's not the first – nor the fiftieth – time he's asked. This is clearly a game between them.) Bella: No. Edward: Marry me. Bella: Change me. (Kisses her neck) Edward: Okay I will if you marry me, It's called a compromise. Bella: It's just called coercion. It's not fair. Marriage is just... Is a piece of paper. Edward: Where I am from, it's the way one says, 'I love you'. (She affectionatly pushes him away, jumping up --) Bella: Where I come from, at my age... It's the way one says, 'I just got knocked up'. (She starts to gather up her coat and books.) (He's suddenly right in front of her – we didn't see him move. He playfully grabs her stuff from her --) Edward: So, you're worried about what people will think. Bella: You know, it's two out of three marriages end in divorce. Edward: Well, I think you'll find the... Vampire, human divorce rate is a little lower. (They're inches apart, the game laced with their attraction.) Edward: Just marry me. Bella: I can't. I have to be back at four. I'm supposed to come straight home from school. (He pulls her close. Kisses her.) Edward: You'll be on time. I won't give your father another reason to hate me. (As he easily slings her around onto his back) [ INT. BELLA'S HOUSE – DAY ] (Start on the Chief Charlie Swan, still in uniform from a day at the station. His brow is furrowed with concern as he reads the Seattle Times) (INSERT HEADLINES – “mrder, Disappearances, Possible Work of Serial kller...” etc.) (The article worries him. He checks his watch – just as the front door opens. Bella enters, throws down her book bag. Charlie is looking at this watch.) Charlie: Four o'clock on the dot. Does he have a stopwatch or something? Bella: He has a name. And now he's too punctual for you? (as she starts toward the stairs) Charlie: Wait a sec, will you? Sit down. (She pauses, then moves to a chair, sits. He faces her.) Charlie: Okay... You understand why you're being punished, right? Bella: I know, I put you through hell. Charlie: Yes, you did. But I have other reasons, for grounding you. Like... I just want you to get some separation from him. Bella: Dad, there is nothing you can say. Edward is in my life. Charlie: Yeah, I'm gathering that. So, alright. How about this? I'll make you a deal. You're not grounded anymore, if... You use your new found freedom... ... to see some of your other friends too, Like... Like Jacob. (Bella darkens; a painful subject. Charlie notes this.) Charlie: He's going through a really tough time right now, His Dad's really worried about him. (Bella stops. This hurts her to hear.) Charlie: I remember when that was you. You needed a friend, Jake was there. [ INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM – DAY ] (Bella opens her desk drawer and pulls out a FOLDED NOTE. It's worn, having been read many times. She unfolds it --) (INSERT – THE HANDWRITTEN NOTE. Several sentences have been crossed out. Only one line at the bottom is legible. It reads: “I miss you, too. Doesn't change anything.”) (Off Bella, deeply troubled. But deciding something...) (She takes out her fashionable, desirable, hip Nokia phone, and holds down a button (speed dial). The word “Jake” comes up on the screen. Straight to voicemail.) Jacob VM: Hey, it's Jake. Leave a message. Bella (V.O.): Jacob hadn't talk to me in weeks. I wanted to fix it, he just... He wouldn't give me the chance. 'I miss you too. Doesn't change anything.' [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – NIGHT ] (Bella exits the house, heads to her truck, climbs in --) [ INT. BELLA'S TRUCK – NIGHT ] (Bella turns the key – nothing. She tries again. It's dad. With a slight gust of wind – suddenly, Edward is sitting next to her. She jumps, catching her breath.) Bella: You scared me. Edward: You're going now to the reservation. Bella: How'd you --? Alice had a vision. (His guilty face is her answer. He tries to make light of it.) Bella: Hey, did you do this to my truck? Edward: Bella, you have to understand. Your safety is everything to me. Bella: Jacob is not gonna hurt me. Edward: Not intentionally, but the wolves have no control... Bella: Edward. I have... Until graduation, to see him. And I'll be one of you, and he'll hate me forever. Edward: I'm sorry. (She looks at him. Then gets angry, forces open her door--) [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – NIGHT ] (Bella climbs out, slams the truck door. Edward appears next to her.) Edward: I want you to be happy... but alive is more important. (Frustrated, she pushes past him and heads to the house. He appears on the stairs before she reaches them.) Edward: I'll understand if you're too angry for me to come to your room tonight. Just close the window. [ INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT ] (ON THE OPEN WINDOW – Bella closes and locks it. bat. Then another bat. Then she unlocks the window, opens it a bit. Looks at it. Opens it as WIDE as it will go.) [ INT. FORKS HIGH SCHOOL – CAFETERIA – DAY ] (Bella and Edward sit with Angela, Eric, Mike and Jessica. Edward and Bella are on the end, slightly apart. Angela is busy addressing a pile of note card envelopes. Mike writes what he's saying on a legal pad.) Mike: My fellow students. Cool. Right? Wow. Okey, right? -- Cute. We are the future. Anything is possible... ... If you just believe. Angela: Nice. Mike: Blah, blah, blah... Perfect. And got your self a speech. (He rips the page off, hands it to Jessica.) Jessica: No, this will be my speech. When I want everyone to throw diplomas at my head. So... Thank you. (She crumples the paper. Tosses it at him.) Mike: Ya gotta embrace the cliches, Jess. Eric: They have the bread and butter of all valedictorians. Angela: And that is why you are not valedictorian. And Jess doesn't need cliches. Speech is gonna be epic. Jessica: Epic? It'll change lives. (Alice and Jasper have abruptly appeared, carrying trays of food they won't eat. As they sit...) Alice: I decided to throw a party. Jasper: After all, how many times we gonna graduate high school? (Edward stifles a smile.) Alice: A party? At your place? Jessica: I've never seen your house. Eric: No one's ever seen their house. Edward: Another party, Alice? Alice: It'll be fun. Bella: Yeah. That's what you said last time. (Suddenly Alice freezes, her eyes glazing over. She's having a vision. Mike hasn't noticed yet.) Mike: Well cool, that's really uh... normal of you. What time? (Nothing from Alice) Mike: Dress code? (Still nothing) Mike: Bring anything? Cheetos? (A bat as Alice still looks into the distance. Awkward. Bella looks at Edward, concerned. Edward shrugs it off-nothing to worry about.) Edward: Wake up, Alice. Jasper: She hasn't been getting much sleep lately, senior jitters. (This sounds weird and weirdly fluent coming from Jasper, but it serves to break the moment.) [ INT. SHERIFF'S STATION – EVENING ] (Bella and Edward enter. Charlie is behind the counter talking with a middle aged couple, DOUG & NANCY BIERS, whose faces are etched with grief and worry.) Bella: So – what was that at school? What did Alice see? Edward: Nothing. Something about Jasper. It was innocuous. Bella: I know you know what she saw. Tell me. Edward: It was nothing. Bella: You looked worried. Edward: Just that everyone would notice how strange Alice is. Bella: I think that ship sailed long ago. (Charlie looks up at Bella and Edward and subtly gestures for them to keep their distance. It could be interpreted as hostile.) Edward: I wonder what's wrong. Bella: There's someone missing in Seattle, over a year ago. Charlie is doing what he can, but... Do you know something about this? Edward: We've been tracking the situation in Seattle for a while. Unexplained disappearances, killings... If the situation gets anymore conspicuous, the Volturi will step in. Bella: If they go to Seattle, they can come here. They can see I'm still human. Edward: We won't get that far. But we'll go to Seattle if we have to. Charlie: I'll fax these down the first thing. Couple: Thank you. (Charlie approaches. OFF Bella watching the anguished Biers exit...) Charlie: Hey. Bella: Hey. Charlie: You're ready for dinner? Bella: Yeah. (Charlie puts a picture into his case. It's RILEY, from the opening.) [ EXT. SHERIFF'S STATION – EVENING ] (Bella exits, flanked by Charlie and Edward. There's palpable tension between the two men.) Charlie: It is still just... you and I, alright? Edward: No, I'm just dropping her off. See you later. Bella: Bye. (Edward starts to leave and stops.) Edward: Oh... Bella. My parents wanted to remind you about the... Airline ticket you got for your birthday. (Bella eyes him with suspicion but he appears clueless.) Charlie: What airline ticket? Bella: A round trip ticket to see Mom in Florida. Charlie: Wow, that was generous. Edwrd: And it expires soon, they say you might wanna use it this weekend. Bella: Well, I can't just drop everything and go. Edward: It might be your last chance to see her before you graduate. (This lands with Bella.) Charlie: Well. It might not be a bad idea. get out of the town for a couple of days, get some distance. Bella: Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing Mom... As long as you use the companion ticket. Charlie: Wait, just two tickets? Super, That makes me really happy. (CLOSE on BELLA'S FACE – illuminated by BRIGHT SUNLIGHT) [ EXT. RENEE'S BEACH BUNGALOW, FLORIDA – DAY ] (Bella's face is turned upward to soak in the WARM SUN.) Bella (V.O.): I did wanna see my Mom. I wanted to know that her life was full by satisfying Renee: Aren't you gonna miss this? Don't you just feel the vitamin D soaking up in your pores? (Include her mother, Renee. They lie in chaise lounges pushed tightly together on the deck.) Bella: Yeah, I'm gonna miss this. Renee: You know, colleges in Florida are a lot sunnier. I'm just saying, if you go to university of Alaska... I'm never gonna see you. (Which is the point. Guilt washes over Bella. She takes Renee's hand, absently plays with the bracelet on her wrist, trying to soak up her mother as much as the sun.) Bella: They have a really great science program. Renee: You mean Edward program. (Renee nudges Bella who smiles, looks inside the house...) [ INT. BEACH BUNGALOW ] (Bella's POV – Through window) (Edward sits in an easy chair with a clear view of Bella. He offers a small wave, then turns back to his conversation with PHIL, who lies on his back on the couch.) (BACK TO SCENE) (Renee squeezes her hand a bat, then glances back at Edward.) Renee: The way he watches you... It's like he's willing to leap in front of you, and take a bllet or something. Bella: Is that a bad thing? Renee: It's an intense thing. You're different with him. If he moves, you move. Like magnets. Bella: I don't know, we're just... In love. Renee: I get it. I just want to make sure, you're making the right choices for you. You know, cause you're the one who's gonna have to live with them. (Bella takes this in – her choice much bigger than geographical location. Renee sees her face cloud.) Renee: Alright, enough with the heavy. (She reaches under her chaise and pulls up a large box.) Bella: Mom. (Renee sets the box on Bella's lap.) Renee: Congratulations. Bella: I didn't want you to spending you're money. Renee: I didn't, come on. (Bella opens the box-to find a QUILT. As she unfolds it, realizes what it is, emotion wells up--) Bella: Are these all our old trip T-shirts? Renee: I saved'em all. I thought they'd make a good quilt. To keep you warm up in Alaska. Remember this one? Ensanada. Bella: The snake pit. Renee: Yep. But this one is my favourite. Here... Bella: The three-headed lobster in Maine. This is amazing. Renee: No, honey. I'm glad you've like it. I just figured, you know, when you get older, have kids, We can add to it. Maybe go visit... ... the world's largest catsup bottle or something. Thanks (Renee wraps the quilt around Bella.) Renee: Oh... I'm glad you like it. (Bella suddenly hugs Renee as if for the last time, and perhaps it will be.) Renee: I just thought, you should have a little piece of me, up there in Alaska. Bella: Mom. Renee: Yeah. Bella: I miss you. Renee: Oh, honey. I miss you too. (RENEE is a little surprised by BELLA'S emotionalism, but hugs her back.) [ EXT. FOREST – NIGHT ] (Start on Alice – her eyes glazed over, intently watching something in her mind. The woods are all mist and shadows –a stark contrast to previous scene.) (Include Emmett, then Jasper. Then the other Cullens, CARSLISLE, ESME, and ROSALIE. They're spread out, still as statutes, waiting for ALICE, ready for spring.) Jasper: You sure this is where you saw her? Alice: She's almost here. [ ANOTHER PART OF THE FOREST ] (Close on a pair of female feet in boots running in the rainy wet mud. But they falter, slowing to a stop... Fan up to include none other than Victoria! She inhales... Something smells wrong. She abruptly bolts in another direction.) (BACK ON ALICE – SHE SPINS TO EMMETT) Alice: On your left. (Emmett explodes to his left, Rosalie right behind him. Jasper and Carlisle go wide, looking to cut Victoria off, Esme and Alice following up the rear.) (Intercut with Victoria racing through the trees, tense but not afraid. Escaping is what she's good at. She reaches---a ravine – she doesn't break stride, just leaps across it—Carlisle pulls up short, yells to Emmett and Rosalie--) Carlisle: Wait. She's in their territory. Rosalie: She'll get away. Jasper: No she won't. (ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RAVINE – THREE GIANT WOLVES LEAP onto the scene and take up the chase after Victoria. The leader is black, enormous (SAM-WOLF.)) (A parallel chase ensues, the wolves and the Cullens keeping to their sides of the ravine, which we realize is the line that demarcates the territories, Victoria leaps back over.) Emmett: All ours now. (The Cullens close in.) (Emmett grabs hold of her shoulders and hair. They roll head over keester – Victoria uses the momentum to her advantge and flings Emmett off and over her into a tree.) (She takes the split second he's down to leap back over to wolf-land and keeps running.) Esme: Emmett don't! (But Emmett seeing red FLIES over the ravine-the second his feet ht the other side-PAUL-WOLF turns to face him.) (There's a moment of standoff. It would be simple enough for Emmett to defuse the situation by jumping back-but that's not his style. Paul GROWLS with bravado. That just makes Emmett smile.) (Angle on Victoria, at a safe distance now. She slowly looks back, surprised to see what is happening. She studies the conflict with curiosity.) (Paul and Emmett CHARGE each other. BAM! They roll in dozens yards in the dirt.) [ EXT. FORKS HIGH SCHOOL – PARKING LOT – MORNING ] (Edward pulls his Volvo into a parking spot.) [ INT. EDWARD'S VOLVO ] (Bella's in the passenger seat, sadness in her face. Edward strokes her cheek, comforting her.) Edward: Did you regret going? Bella: No. It was really great to see my mom. Just really hard saying goodbye. Edward: It doesn't have to be goodbye. Bella: Is that why you ask me to go? You thought I was gonna change my mind. (He offers a gentle smile) Edward: I'm always hoping for that. (He abruptly looks up; stiffens. Hearing something.) Bella: What? Edward: If I asked you to stay in the car, would you? (She looks at him, concerned, then pulls open her door--) Edward: Of course not. [ EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT – DAY ] (Bella and Edward emerge from the Volvo to see Jacob climb off his motorcycle and stride toward them. He wears a tight black t-shirt, grease stained jeans. No jacket in the cold.) (His hard expression causes other students to give him a wide berth. He looks almost dangerous. But Bella is delighted.) Bella: Jake! (Edward subtly, protectively pulls Bella back. Students watch from a distance, out of earshot.) Jacob: Hey. Charlie said you left town. Bella: Yeah. To visit my Mom, why? Jacob: Just checking to see if you're still human. (Jacob concentrates on something, and suddenly Edward seems to be distressed.) Jacob: I'm coming here to warn you. If your kind come on our land again... Bella: Wait, what? Jacob: You didn't tell her? Edward: Just leave it alone, Jacob. (ANGLE ON ALICE AND JASPER) (Who gracefully and swiftly climb from their car, place themselves in proximity, just in case.) (ANGLE ON MIKE, ERIC, JESSICA, AND ANGELA) (who watch the goings on. Angela clearly fears a fight; the others seem more intrigued by one.) (BACK ON JACOB, EDWARD, and BELLA) Bella: Tell me what? Edward: Emmett and Paul had a misunderstanding, there is nothing to worry about. Jacob: Listen to you. Did you lie to get her out of town, too? Edward: You should leave. Now. Jacob: She has a right to know. She is the one the red-head wants. Bella: Victoria? Alices's vision. Edward: I was trying to protect you. Bella: By lying to me. Edward: Okay. Bella: We're gonna talk about this, but... You. Why haven't you called me back? Jacob: I had nothing to say. Bella: Well, I have tons. Edward: Hold on. Hey. Bella. Bella: Edward, you have to trust me. I do trust you. It's him I don't trust. (Bella just looks at Edward; strong, independent, not about to acquiesce. Finally he releases her. She jogs to Jacob. Climbs on the back of his bike. Jacob grins.) Bella: Lose the grin, Jacob. We're just going for a ride. Jacob: Hold on tight. (He kick starts the bike, then roars off with Bella on the back. Edward watches them go.) [ EXT. LA PUSH – EMILY'S HOUSE – DAY ] (Jacob pulls up; he and Bella climb off the bike.) Bella: Are you sure, this is a good idea? I'm a 'vampire girl', remember? (The front door bursts open and JARED, PAUL, EMBRY, & QUIL pile out, shoving the last of a meal down their throats. Bella tenses, but much to her surprise and relief, Embry smiles when he sees her.) Embry: Look who's back. Quil: Whatup, Bella? Bella: Quil, you too? Quil: Yep. Finally made the pack. I'm glad you're here, Bella. Maybe we can get a break from Jake's obsessive inner monologue. Paul: 'I wish Bella would call'. Jared: 'I wish Bella wouldn't call'. Embry: 'Maybe I should call Bella'. Quil: 'Maybe I should call Bella and hang up'. Jacob: Alright, you can shut up now. (Bella smiles as the guys laugh, push each other, roughhouse.) (Behind them a slender girl with cropped black hair exits, LEAH CLEARWATER, 19. She'd be gorgeous if not for her scowl. Leah sees Bella and the scowl deepens.) Jacob: Bella, this is Leah Clearwater. Harry's daughter. Bella: Hey. I'm really sorry about your father. Leah: If you're here to trture Jacob some more, feel free to leave. (Bella's taken aback. Jacob sh*t Leah an angry look; she's irrpervious. As SAM and EMILY exit, Leah abruptly moves off.) Jacob: Fun, isn't she? (Emily gives Bella a hug. Sam offers a pleasant nod hello.) Emily: Bella... Hi. Hey. I was wondering when we'd see your face around here again. Bella: Yeah, same here. Jacob: Sam, we're good? Sam: We're good. She won't be getting through our line anytime soon. (The guys AD LIB macho challenges as they make their way to the forest's edge. Sam turns to Emily to say goodbye, looks into her eyes. Their connection is deeply intimate. As Sam gently kisses her, Bella politely looks away... to see...) (BELLA'S POV – ON LEAH) (at the edge of the woods. Leah glances at Sam and Emily's kiss, then abruptly falls forward – before her hands ht the ground, they become paws! Leah, now a light grey wolf disappears in the woods. Off Bella's surpise...) [ EXT. JACOB'S HOUSE – DAY ] (Jacob and Bella climb off the bike, and start wheeling it toward the garage as–) Bella: So, when did Leah joined the pack? Jacob: Around when her Dad died. Her brother Seth, also phased. He's only fifteen. One of the youngest we've had. Sam keeps him home studying, but he's chomping at the bit. Wish it was Leah who'd stay home. Bella: Come on, don't be such a guy. Jacob: No, it's... It's not a chick thing. It's... You know, a triangle thing. We all have to live the Leah, Sam, Emily pain-fest. Wolf telepathy, remember? Bella: So, Sam dumps Leah for Emily? Jacob: It wasn't like that. Sam hates himself for hurting Leah. But, Emily was The One. Bella: Yeah, I guess it's sort of chooses you sometimes. (Jacob knows she's talking about Edward, won't go there.) Jacob: It's more than some crush, Bella. Sam imprinted on Emily. Bella: Do I want to know what that is? Imprinting on someone is like... Jacob: Like when you see her, everything changes. All of a sudden, it's not gravity holding you to the planet. It's her. Nothing else matters. You would do anything... Be anything for her. Bella: It sounds like you know the feeling. Have you... imprinted on someone? Jacob: You'd know if I had. I just have a direct line to Sam's thoughts. (He continues into the garage. She follows--) [ INT. JACOB'S GARAGE – DAY ] (Jacob and Bella enter. Jacob rolls the bike to its spot. She notes her old motorcycle in the corner, collecting dust.) Bella: So for now, you're... still you. Jacob: And you're still you. Bella: Yeah. Until graduation. Jacob: Graduation? Bella: You knew this was gonna happen. Jacob: Not in a month. I mean, not before you've... you've even lived. Or before I could... For a second, just a second, I thought... But he's got his hooks in you so deep. Bella: I decided this, not him. Jacob: Bella, they're not even a live. It makes me sick. Better you really be dad than one of them. Bella: I can't believe you said that. Edward was right, I shouldn't have come. (He's too angry to take it back. She heads for the door.) Jacob: Bella, come on. Please. I'm sorry. (It takes a long bat for her to recover from the hurtful comment. Finally she nods. She moves to her dusty motorcycle, brushes off the seat.) Bella: We should stick to safer subjects, like motorcycles. Jacob: Only thing safe about you on a motorcycle is when you turn it off. (She smiles as does he. The tension slowly dissapitates as they dust off the bikes, shifting back to friends mode.) [ INT. BELLA'S ROOM – NIGHT ] (Close on Bella's dreamcatcher as a man's hand moves into frame, turns it. Include the man's back as he moves around the room, touching her stuff. Picking things up, curious, setting them down just a little out of place. It's creepy.) (Finally, his hand falls on a red blouse draped over a chair. As he brings it to his nose, we see his face – it's RILEY! Pale white, chiseled features, eyes BLOOD RED. A vampire.) (He inhales Bella's scent then stuffs it into his jacket and exits her room. We follow him down the stairs and into --) [ INT. BELLA'S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT ] (Riley soundlessly enters to find Charlie asleep on the couch. He's in uniform, a case file spread out, some of it resting on his chest. Riley leans over him, SEES a PHOTO of himself (it's his case file), and a newspaper article–) (INSERT NEWSPAPER – SERIAL mrder RISE IN SEATTLE) (OFF RILEY, intrigued, taking in the news and his own file, and Charlie who's unaware of the danger just inches away...) (Riley stares casually at Charlie's holster. Silently, uncannily smoothly, removes his gn. STARES right down the barrel. Yep. There's a bllet.) (Riley points the gn at Charlie's head. Smiles. This could be fun. How far can he pull the trigger without it going off? He squeezes – the hammer goes back—then Riley notices the picture on Charlie's chest... his smiling, human self. Reaches out to it.) [ INT. BELLA'S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT ] (Bella comes in the front door. The living room is empty and quiet. Eerily so. Suddenly --) Charlie: You know... Edward could at least respect meal times. (BELLA turns startles. Charlie leans in the kitchen doorway indicating his watch.) Bella: I was just with Jake. Charlie: Oh... Good. (There's a knock on the door. Charlie knows who it is, heads back into the kitchen with a small, self-satisfied smile.) Charlie: I'll just give you two some privacy then. (Bella girds herself. Then opens the door to find Edward.) Bella: Hey. Edward: Do you understand how worried I've been? Bella: I was perfectly safe. Edward: I almost break the treaty to make sure of it. (Abruptly he stops. Inhales. His face alarmed.) Bella: I know, I smell like a dog. I'm sorry. Edward: No, no. Something's wrong. (He moves into the living room. DARTS throughout the first floor, checking it. Charlie doesn't see... he's concentrating on the photo of RILEY whose face has been SCRATCHED OUT.) Bella: What? What is it? Edward: Stay here. (And he bolts upstairs. She hurries after him--) [ INT. BELLA'S ROOM – NIGHT ] (Bella enters to find Edward holding the dreamcather.) Bella: Edward, what's wrong? Edward: Someone's been in here. [ INT. CULLEN HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT ] (Edward paces, frustrated. Alice is stressed. Bella tries to track their fast-paced conversation with Carlisle, Rosalie, and Esme.) Alice: Who was it? Someone we know? Edward: Just a stranger. I didn't recognize his scent. Esme: A nomad passing through? Rosalie: A passer-by wouldn't have left Bella's father alive. (Bella's chilled by the thought. Esme wraps an arm around her just as the door bursts open. Jasper enters.) Jasper: His scent disappeared about five miles south of Bella's house. Edward: Someone's orchestrating this. Carlise: Victoria? Alice: I would've seen her deciding. Edward: It has to be the Volturi. Alice: I don't think it's the Volturi either. I've been watching Aro's decisions, too. Emmett: So we keep looking. Carlisle: We also take shifts, guarding Bella at her house. Rosalie: Another protection detail? Esme: Rosalie. Bella: No, she's right. You can't protect me, watch my dad... ... and search for the intruder. And for Victoria. And keep yourselves fed. Edward: I'm not leaving you here defenseless. Bella: Well, I'm not gonna let you starve. And I wouldn't be unprotected, I have... (She stops... a bat. An idea occurring. She looks at him, a tiny glimmer of optimism flashing on her face.) Edward: What? [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – FRONT YARD – DAY ] (Edward stands at the curb, frozen in place, waiting eyes unblinkingly watching the front door. Finally, it opens. Bella exits. Behind her, Jacob.) (Edward meets them halfway. Edward is cool, calculating; Jacob hotheaded, fractious.) Jacob: Whoever it was, he left his stink behind. It'll be hard to miss when we cross it again. We'll handle it from here. Edward: We don't need you to handle anything. Or anyone. (Jacob steps toward Edward who doesn't move.) Jacob: I could care less what you need. Edward: Alright, we're done here. Jacob: No, you're done here. (Bella moves between them.) Bella: Stop. I'm tired of this. From now on I'm Switzerland, Okay? (Bella tries to push them apart; it's like pushing boulders.) Bella: Stop! (Jacob simmers. Edward just looks at him.) Bella: I don't expect you guys to chuck a football around together. Fine. But we have a lot of problems. And this is one temporary solution. Are you willing to at least try? (A long tense bat. Finally, Edward nods. Then Jacob.) Bella: Alright, so you need to coordinate. You know, schedules and stuff. (Neither says anything. Bella sighs. Turns to Jacob -) Bella: Would the pack prefer days or nights? Jacob: Nights. Bella: Will days work for your family? (EDWARD nods.) Bella: Good. See? How hard was that? (Agonziing, off Bella, determined to make this truce work.) [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – NIGHT ] (Bella's POV) (From above, looking down at the dark, silent forest beyond the yard. Stillness. Suddenly, we see a movement in the trees. Then two gleaming eyes peer out, belonging to... a wolf skulking at the edge of the tree line. It looks up at --) [ INT. BELLA'S BEDROOM – NIGHT ] (ON BELLA) (She stands in the window, looking down at her protector. Then, in contrast to the danger that surrounds her --) Angela (O.C.): U.W. sent me and Eric our dorm assignments yesterday... (Bella turns back to the room where Angela lies on the floor, a massive stack of graduation announcements in the “done” pile. Angela is blithely unaware of Bella's situation.) Angela: I'm in the furthest dorm from campus. Eric's in the closest, of course. Has Alaska assigned you guys dorms yet? (Bella looks at her, missing her already. She lies next to Angela, takes up a card to address.) Bella: Not yet. Angela: Where is Edward tonight anyway? Bella: Out looking for trouble. (ANGELA hears the worry in Bella's voice. Looks at her.) Angela: Is something wrong? Bella: No, why? Angela: One, Edward's always with you. Two, you keep looking out that window like you're hoping he'll show up with a mariachi band. Bella: Angela what if Eric was like secretly a member of this... violent gng, and... your brother was in this other gng, and they wanted to kll each other, and you couldn't tell anybody? (Bella's slightly odd remark just kind of sits there.) Angela: It's okay. You don't have to talk about it. Bella: There's nothing to... I mean there is but... (How can she talk about it? Bella debates, then sits up, cross legged, choosing her words carefully.) Bella: Okay. You remember Jacob Black? Angela: Ah. Edward's jealous. Bella: You say that like it's so obvious. Angela: Oh, it's not? Bella: Edward just thinks Jacob's dangerous or something... bad influence on me. (ANGELA smiles, shakes her head.) Bella: What? Angela: I've seen the way Jacob looks at you. Edward's seen it too, and he's only human. He's going to react like any other guy. Bella: It's more complicated than that. Angela: Say the words Bella: jell-oh-see. Bella: I've told Jacob how I feel. He accepts it. He'd rather be best friends than nothing. Angela: Okay, so the words are dee-nigh0ul. Bella: You're saying I'm an idiot. Angela: Just a little oblivious. Bella: Well, I don't want this. Every move I make hurts someone. Angela: They're big boys. They make their own choices. Don't worry it will work itself out. It's not life or death or anything. (Off Bella glancing back at the window at her reality.) [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – ON THE WOLF – SAME ] [ EXT. ROAD – DAY ] (Edward's silver Volvo pulls over to the side of the road. Bella and Edward emerge from the car. They see – 30 yards down the road, a shirtless Jacob leaning against his red Volkswagen. Waiting. The two guys exchange a tense look.) Edward: Doesn't he own a shirt? Bella: I'm good here, you should go. (EDWARD pulls her closer.) Edward: I'm not gonna be going long. Bella: Don't rush. You need to hunt. (Then he surprises her with a particularly passionate kiss. DOWN THE ROAD Jacob scowls. Edward pulls away, leaving Bella a little dizzy.) Bella: Maybe you rush a little bit. (He smiles. She offers a reassuring look, then walks off.) (ANGLE ON JACOB – as Bella reaches him he smiles broadly) Jacob: Hey, beautiful. Bella: Hi. (He pulls her into a big hug. She hears Edward's car peel out. As she watches the Volvo disappear, Jacob opens the car door.) Jacob: So, whaddaya wanna do today? Bike, hike, hang? Your call. But we're going to a party tonight. [ EXT. LA PUSH BEHIND JACOB'S HOUSE – BONFIRE – NIGHT ] (A group is gathered around the fre, eating hot dogs, laughing. Billy sits at the natural head of the circle. OLD QUIL, Quil's ancient grandfather sits on one side of him, SUE CLEARWATER on the other. The three council leaders.) (The whole pack is there; Paul, Quil, Embry, Jared, and Sam, with Emily at his side. Leah sullenly stares into the fre. Meanwhile, a young Quileute girl about Quil's age is definitely giving him the eye.) (Across the sand – JACOB leads BELLA toward roaring fires.) Bella: You sure this is okay? I really hate being a party crasher. Jacob: Technically, you're a Council Meeting crasher. See. The Council leaders, Dad, Quil's grandpa, and Sue Clearwater. She took over for Harry when he died. Bella: Okay, I should not be here. Jacob: You're okay. I thought... I mean, they thought it would be good for you to hear the histories. Bella: The histories? The tribe's histories? Aren't they secret? Jacob: We all got a role to play. And you're a part of this. I mean, it's the first time Seth, Leah and Quil are hearing them, too. But you are the first outsider. Ever. Bella: If I had have known that, I wouldn't believe you. And would've dressed better. Seth: Jake. (They're interrupted by a gangly-limbed boy, SETH, 15, who trots up like a puppy. He clearly idolizes Jacob.) Seth: Hey. It's about time, you got here. Paul's been hoovering the grub. But, I saved you some burgers. Jacob: Good looking out, Bro. Bella, this is Seth Clearwater, Leah's brother. Newest member of the pack. Seth: Newest, bestest, brightest. Jacob: And slowest. (He grabs Seth in a headlock, the two tumble to the sand. Seth laughs, absolutely loving this guy. A whistle comes from the circle. It's Sam. Seth jumps up.) Seth: Come on. Your dad's about to start. Jacob: Alright. (As Seth drags Jacob and Bella toward the bonfire...) Billy: The Quileutes have been a small tribe from the beginning... [ EXT. LA PUSH BEHIND JACOB'S HOUSE – BONFIRE – NIGHT ] (ON THE fre, burning lower) Billy: But we've always had magic in our blood. (INCLUDE THE CIRCLE, PANNING everyone's faces, their attention wholly on Billy, his voice commanding.) Billy: We were great spirit warriors... Shape shifters, that transform into the powerful wolf. This enabled us to scare off our enemies, and protect our tribe. (ON BELLA who absorbs the story, its images alive in her mind. Jacob glances at her, gauging her reaction.) Billy: One day our warriors came across a creature... [ INT. FOREST CLEARING – DAY (1750'S) ] (Two Quileute warriors (all in human form) emerge from the trees, horrified to find a male vampire (wearing the clothing of a mid-1700s Spaniard) bent over two lifeless tribe girls. His eyes are blood red, feral. A terrifying image.) Billy: It looked like a man, but it was hard like stone, and cold as ice... (The two warriors phase into wolves and charge the vampire.) (He grabs one of them, strangling it. The second wolf gets his teeth into the Vampire's neck and tears off his head. But the strangled wolf falls dad to the ground.) Billy: Our warriors' sharp teeth, finally tore it apart... But only fre would completely destroy it. [ EXT. LA PUSH BEHIND JACOB'S HOUSE – BONFIRE - NIGHT ] (BACK ON BELLA – the horrible visuals alive in her mind. Jacob watches her, gratified by her somber reaction.) Billy: They lived in fear, the Cold Man was not alone. And they were right. [ EXT. QUILEUTE VILLAGE – DAY (1750'S) ] (A BEAUTIFUL VAMPIRESS in a tattered 1700's Spanish gown, moves through the Quileute village of long houses and teepees. A TRAIL OF dad BODIES; tribes-people screaming.) Billy: She took her vengeance out on the village. Our elder chief, Taha Aki, was the only spirit warrior left to save the tribe, after his son was klled. (TAHA AKI, 60's – anguished, stands over his dad SON, 20. His THIRD WIFE, 40's, weeps inconsolably next to his body. Taha Aki spins toward the vampires and takes a running LUNGE at her, transforming into a great wolf. They CLASH!) (The THIRD WIFE watches with horror as the Vampiress quickly gets the upper hand.) Billy: Taha Aki's Third Wife could sees that he would lose... (THE THIRD WIFE pulls out a Knfe and RUNS toward the VAMPIRESS who barely acknowledges the impending attck.) [ EXT. LA PUSH – BEHIND JACOB'S HOUSE – NIGHT ] (BACK ON BILLY, who looks at Bella as he says--) Billy: The Third Wife was no magical being, no special powers, but one... Courage. (ON BELLA'S FACE as we go inside her thoughts.) [ EXT. QUILEUTE VILLAGE – DAY (BELLA'S IMAGINATION) ] (MATCHCUT BELLA'S FACE- now transformed into the THIRD WIFE! Bella charges the vampiress, dagger raised high – but as she nears, shockingly, she plunges the Knfe into her own heart! BLOOD flowers on Bella's chest. The Vampiress catches the scent and spins toward her, ravenous.) Billy (V.O.): The Third Wife's sacrifice distracted the Cold Woman, long enough for Taha Aki to destroy her. She saved the tribe. (As the Taha Aki-wolf leaps onto the Vampiress, tearing her apart, Bella lay dying, her expression at peace...) Billy (V.O.): Over time, our enemies have disappeared. But one remains... The Cold Ones. [ EXT. LA PUSH – BEHIND JACOB'S HOUSE – NIGHT ] (BACK ON BELLA – emotions conflicting as she sees all this from the wolves point of view.) Billy: Our magic awakens when they near. And we sense it now, we feel the thrat in our blood. Something terrible is coming. And we must all be ready. All of us. (OFF BELLA... and the fre) Reporter (O.C.): Seattle is in a state of terror... [ INT. CULLEN'S HOUSE – DAY ] (TIGHT ON A TELEVISION SCREEN tuned to CNN – a FEMALE REPORTER with a mic does a stand-up in front of PIKE PLACE.) Reporter: Police are baffled by the escalating mrder and disappearances. (CARLISLE and JASPER watch with concern. Emmett is draped over the couch. Bella and Edward enter as --) Reporter: Theories range from a vicious new gng to a wildly active serial kller... Reporting live, Dawn Chubai. CNN. Carlisle: It's getting worse. We're going to have to do something. Jasper: It takes more than one of our kind to cause the damage they're reporting. Quite a few more. They're undisciplined, conspicuous... Edward: Newborns. Bella: What, like new vampires? Edward: In their first few months after the change. Jasper: That's when we're at our most uncontrollable, vicious, insane with thirst. Emmett: Something to look forward to. Jasper: No one has trained these newborns, but this isn't random. Carlisle: Someone's creating an army. (Jasper nods, Emmett rises, enthusiastic.) Emmette: Oh, now we definitely going to Seattle. Bella: An Army of vampires? Jasper: And they've been created to fight someone. Edward: We're the only clan even close to Seattle. Carlisle: Regardless, of who are they were may, if we don't put a stop to them, the Volturi will. I'm surprised they've let it go on this long. Edward: Maybe they're behind it. In Italy, I read Aro's mind... (EDWARD'S VISION) (TRACKING EDWARD'S FACE – as we enter his memory, his environs drop out, blackness surrounding him, suspending him – as he turns, we go over his shoulder to SEE --) Edward: He wants me and Alice to join him... Our gifts would shore up his power. (A FLASH OF EDWARD and ALICE, each in one of the Volturi “thrones” formerly occupied by Marcus and Caius.) Edward: He knows we'd never choose him as long as our family is still alive. (RESUME EDWARD – PRESENT) Edward: An army could solve that for him. (Bella takes this in, then --) Bella: We can't wait two weeks for graduation; you need to change me now— Jasper: You'd be a liability as a newborn. Unable to control your instincts. An easy target. (Carlisle puts and empathetic hand on Bella's shoulder.) Carlisle: There's also your father to consider. And your mother. How terrible would it be for them if you suddenly disappeared? (Bella can't argue, considers.) [ INT. ABANDONED CANNERY, SEATTLE HARBOUR FRONT – NIGHT ] (SMASH! A newborn vampire careens into the wall, CRACKING bricks. He falls to the ground at the feet of Riley, who spins on a second newborn.) Riley: Next one who starts a fight gets his arms ripped off! (Riley steps over a HUMAN MAN lying on the ground, barely alive. Newborn #2 watches hungrily as Newborn #1 dives on the man, taking what's left of his life.) (There are another DOZEN NEWBORNS of both genders who feed, lounge, fight. What they have in common is ferocity, strength, and thirst.) (Riley goes to a pretty girl, BREE, 15, who lies in a corner, just awakening. As he squats to check on her, she suddenly jumps up, backs against the wall, disoriented and profoundly thirsty. Her hand flies to her neck where she was bitten.) Bree: What—what did you do to me? (Behind Riley the two newborn vampires start pushing each other again, the fight reigniting, irritating Riley.) Bree: I'm so---so... Riley: Yeah, I know. We'll find you someone to drink. The thirst will calm after a while. I've got a year under my belt and I'm ok – (Just then Newborn #1 rips Newborn #2's head completely off. Bree SCREAMS. Riley shakes his head, exasperated.) (He leaves BREE in confusion and walks away.) [ INT. BELLA'S HOUSE – KITCHEN – NIGHT ] (ON RILEY'S FACE – Xeroxed onto a FLIER that reads “Have you seen me?” INCLUDE CHARLIE who sits at the table staring at it. Bella enters, dropping her backpack, coat.) Bella: Hey. Did you eat dinner yet? Charlie: Um... no... I haven't. (She looks over his shoulder and sees the flier.) Charlie: This kid Riley Biers, disappeared over a year ago. And his poor parents been papering Seattle with these things ever since. Bella: You think they should just give up? Charlie: I wouldn't. If it were you... Not ever. (Bella swallows her guilt. She was about to put him through that... and may still. Then he unexpectedly wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her close. After a bat, he releases her, rising to cover his emotionality.) Charlie: So, one large, extra cheese? Bella (V.O.): I have to figure out what to tell people... [ INT. BELLA'S ROOM – NIGHT ] (Bella's cocooned in her bed in the dark. Edward lies next to her, her mother's quilt between them.) Bella: Why I won't be home for Christmases. Why I won't visit. Why they'll never see me again. Edward: After a few decades, everyone you know will be dad. Problem solved. (She flinches at his brutal honesty. Then faces him.) Bella: Why are you so against me becoming like you? Edward: I've told you. Bella: Be honest with me. There's more. Edward: I know the consequences, of this choice you're making. I've lived through it, and to let you suffer that. You believe I have a soul... I don't. But to risk yours, just for the sake of never having to lose you. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do. (She rests her head on his chest.) Bella: I thought, maybe you were afraid that I'll be too different. Unlike. I won't be, you know... warm. And won't smell the same. (He lifts her face to his.) Edward: You'll always be my Bella. (And kisses her. She kisses him back. It grows more passionte. She locks her arms around his neck. Edward pulls away, both of them reining in their desire.) Edward: My Bella, just less fragile. (He pulls the quilt around her. As they nestle in, CAMERA PULLS BACK... until we're outside looking in the window...) [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – NIGHT ] (Emmett and Alice are standing several paces apart. Stone still, keeping watch, listening.) (They hear a sound, both springing at once – to find behind them – two wolves. Here to take over sentry duty. Slowly, Emmett and Alice back away, the wolves eying their every move. A truce but a tense one.) [ EXT. LA PUSH – BEACH – DAY ] (Bella and Jacob walk along the sand. Jacob seems distracted, like he wants to say something but can't. Bella's too busy worrying to notice.) Bella: Gosh, it's so pretty here. So, Alice is planning a big graduation party. Which you're invited to. (Jacob scoffs.) Bella: Yeah, I figured that. What? Jacob: I just wanted to do this differently. Smoother. But now, I'm out of time. Bella: To what? Jacob: You need to hear the truth, Bella. Understand all your options. You need to know... That I'm in love with you. And I want you to choose me, instead of him. (Bella stares at him, momentarily speechless. Finally --) Bella: I thought you understood. I don't feel that way for you. Jacob: I don't buy it. Bella: What don't you buy? That's how I feel. Jacob: You feel something else for me, you just won't admit it. So I'm not giving up. I'm gonna fight for you. Until your heart stops beating. Bella: Well, then you're not gonna have to fight for long. Jacob: You're rushing into it because you're afraid you'll change your mind. (This strikes a nerve – which makes her angry.) Bella: No, I'm not. I know what I want. (Jacob takes her by the arms, emotionally charged -) Jacob: You wouldn't have to change for me, Bella. Or say goodbye to anybody. I can give you more than him. I mean, he probably can't even kiss you without hurting you. Feel that? Flesh and blood and warmth. (Suddenly spontaneously, he kisses her. Bella pushes against him angrily, but he pulls her tighter to him.) (Finally Bella goes limp, drops her arms, opens her eyes, waiting for him to stop. He does, lets go. She turns away. He waits, gauging her reaction. Did she feel what he felt?) (But Bella spins back toward him and punches him in the mouth. There's a horrible CRUNCH on impact. Jacob doesn't even flinch. But Bella grabs her hand in pain.) Bella: Ow! Ow! [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – DAY ] (Bella, mad, climbs from Jacob's car holding her injured hand, as Edward's Volvo screeches to a stop. He gets out, moves directly for Jacob. Bella gets in his path.) Bella: Not here, Edward. Please. Edward: If you ever touch her against her will again. Bella: Don't do this. Jacob: She's not sure what she wants. Bella: Don't do this. Edward: Well, let me give you a clue. Jacob: Wait for her to say the words. Edward: Fine. And she will. Bella: Jacob. Just go, okay. (But Jacob faces off with Edward. Behind them Charlie exits, sees the hostility between them. Heads for them--) Charlie: Hey, hey, hey, hey... Easy guys, easy. Let's take it down a notch. Alright? What's going on? Jacob: I kissed Bella. And she broke her hand... Punching my face. (Charlie's expression turns into a glare.) [ INT. CULLEN HOUSE – KITCHEN – EVENING ] (Edward looks on with concern as Carlisle finishes setting Bella's hand in a splint. Rosalie, at the counter, peruses several newspapers, looking for an update.) Carlise: Total misunderstanding. It's just a sprain, should heal fairly quickly. Emmett: Trying to walk and chew gum at the same time again, Bella? Bella: I punched a werewolf in the face. Emmett: Bad ass... You're gonna be one tough little newborn. Bella: Tough enough to take you on. (Rosalie SLAPS down the newspaper and abruptly walks out, throwing a fierce scowl Bella's way. Bella is thrown.) Emmett: Don't worry about it. Edward: Okay, any Leads? Jasper: No sign of the intruder. But Victoria continues to make appearances. Carlisle: She's toying with us. Keeping us distracted. Emmett: From Seattle? Carlise: Or the intruder. Or something else. Edward: Alice can keep tracking her decisions but we have to track her on the ground. (Tired of being ignored, Bella heads out to the deck.) Jasper: We've already cover the entire southern peninsula down to Quinault. Edward: We'll searc the northwestern trail. [ EXT. CULLEN HOUSE – DECK – EVENING ] (The sun sets over the river as Rosalie looks out. Bella exits. Rosalie knows who's behind her without looking.) Rosalie: Go blather to someone else about the joys of becoming a newborn. Bella: Okay. Rosalie... I don't understand what I did, to make you hate me so much. Rosalie: I don't hate you. I don't particularly like you, but... Bella, I envy you. Bella: What? That's ridiculous. Rosalie: No, it's not. You have a choice. I didn't. None of us did. But you do, and you're choosing wrong. I don't care how miserable your human life is. Bella: My life is not miserable. It's not perfect, but nobody's life is perfect. Rosalie: Mine was. Absolutely perfect. Bella: It was a long time ago, maybe you're forgetting the bad. Rosalie: I remember. And it was perfect. Till the end... (She turns toward the river. Bella slowly move to her side.) Rosalie: I had... almost had... everything, even though it was the Great Depression. I was eighteen, beautiful—everyone in Rochester envied me. (PUSH IN ON ROSALIE as--) Rosalie: There's only one thing I wanted that I didn't have... (SMASH TO – CLOSE ON A BABY'S FACE) (CURLY BLACK HAIR, dimples, cherubic. He's being held by–) [ EXT. ROCHESTER, NEW YORK – PARK - DAY (1933) ] (HUMAN ROSALIE, rosy skin, stunning, but naïve, vain. We see her longing as she hands the boy back to his mother, VERA, 18.) Rosalie (V.O.): I wanted a child badly. A home of my own, a husband to kiss me when he came home from work. And I thought I was going to have all of that... [ EXT. ROCHESTER NEW YORK – STREEETS – DAY (1933) ] (Rosalie walks on the arm of the handsome, well-dressed ROYCE KING. Passersby eye her admiringly. Royce enjoys the attention she brings him. But it's clear from their looks that Royce himself is not well-liked.) Rosalie: Royce King was the most eligible bachelor in town. I barely knew him. But I was young. I was in love with the idea of love. (Rosalie doesn't see Royce eyeing a PRETTY WOMAN across the street. The PRETTY WOMAN, appalled, hurries along; he wipes the lear off his face. Rosalie blithely only sees her perfect man.) Rosalie (V.O.): I was young... [ EXT. ROCHESTER NEW YORK – STREETS – NIGHT (1933) ] (Rosalie heads down the empty lamp-lit streets. She pulls her coat close in the chill of the night air.) Rosalie (V.O.): On the last night of my life, I left a friend's house late. I wasn't far from home. (She slows as she sees a GROUP OF FIVE MEN, gathered under a streetlight. They laugh drunkenly, passing a bottle. Rosalie veers away to avoid them but hears --) Royce: Here she is. Hey, Rose. Come over here. (Rosalie relaxes a little as she realizes it's Royce.) Royce: Here, hold this. Hey, come over here. We've been waiting for you. Rosalie: You're drunk. Royce: Isn't she lovely, John? I told you she was a looker. John: It's hard to say with all those clothes on. (Rosalie, uncomfortable, looks to Royce but he just snickers.) Royce: What do you say, Rose? Why don't we take off a few layers? Rosalie: Stop it... I'll see you tomorrow. Sober. (She starts off, but Royce abruptly YANKS her hat off – she CRIES OUT in pain as the pins wrench her hair out. Royce grins, the sadist in him unmasked now. The men laugh.) Royce: Hey, where do you think you're going? Rosalie: Stop it. Just stop it. Let go. Stop it. Royce: Comeback. Hey, you'll do as I say. (Then he grabs her coat. She fights him, scratching his face, but he violently RIPS the coat off her.) (ECU on the brass buttons – they POP OFF as they scatter on the street.) Rosalie (V.O.): I didn't see who he was until that night. Who they all were... [ EXT. CULLEN HOUSE – THE DECK – EVENING ] (Bella reels at the horror of Rosalie's asault. Empathy fills her as a stoic Rosalie continues.) Rosalie: They left me in the street, thinking I was dad. Believe me, I wanted to be. Carlisle found me, he smelled all the blood... Thought he was helping me. Bella: I'm sorry. Rosalie: I got my revenge on them. One at a time. I saved Royce for last, so he'd know I was coming. (FLASH TO: INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR – NIGHT (1933)) (TWO LARGE MEN guard the doorway to a room. They look up as a specter in white appears at the other end of the hall. As it nears we realize it's Rosalie, in her wedding dress) [ INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT (1933) ] (Royce is terrified as he HEARS the sound of the two guards' bodies falling heavily to the ground. He backs into a corner – the door SPLINTERS open and Rosalie enters. OFF Royce's horror as she closes in on him) (BACK ON ROSALIE PRESENT) Rosalie: I was a little theatrical back then. Things got better after I found Emmett. But we'll always be this. Frozen, never moving forward. That's what I miss the most, the possibilities. Sitting on a front porch somewhere, Emmett gray haired by my side, surrounded by our grandchildren, their laughter. (Rosalie is silent for a bat. Bella turns to her, empathetic but holding her ground...) Bella: I understand, that's what you want. But there's nothing I'll ever gonna want, more... ... than Edward. Rosalie: You're wrong again. After you've been changed, there's one thing you'll want more... One thing you'll kll for... Blood. (Seeing her point has landed, Rosalie walks off. Bella, shaken, turns back toward the house --) (Sees Edward standing in the window, looking out at her...) Jessica (O.C.): When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up... [ INT. FORKS HIGH SCHOOL – GYM – GRADUATION CEREMONY – DAY ] (CAMERA PANS ACROSS THE CAPS AND GOWNS, families and teachers. Umbrellas are on hand in case the clouds open up.) Jessica (O.C.): Our answers were thing like astronaut, president... (FIND Jessica at the podium, class valedictorian.) Jessica: Or in my case, princess. When we were ten, they asked again and we answered – rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how ‘bout this: who the hell knows?! (Loud hoots and hollers from the audience, in which we find Bella. Jessica's words are sinking in.) Jessica: This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, it's the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train, and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love – a lot. Major in philosophy because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent... (OFF Bella knowing there will be no changing her mind once she makes her decision. The speech continues.) [ INT. HIGH SCHOOL GUYM – GRADUATION CEREMONY – DAY ] (On the stage – Bella walks to the school principal and shakes his hand while receiving her diploma. Out in the audience Charlie claps loudly, beaming with pride.) Jessica (V.O.): So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be... we won't have to guess. We'll know. [ EXT. SCHOOL – POST GRADUATION CEREMONY – DAY ] (Charlie and Bella walk away, Bella awkwardly shouldering out of her gown and mortarboard. Ad-libbed “see you at the party's” with various students including the usual suspects if possible. Charlie wraps an arm around Bella's shoulder, emotional.) Charlie: I'm so proud of you, Bells. I can't wait to see what you do next. You're my biggest accomplishment. Bella: Dad, that's not true. Charlie: Yeah, it is. And it's... well, you'll see, when you have kids. (OFF Bella...) [ EXT. SEATTLE – ISOLATED STREET – NIGHT ] (Riley, exasperated, stands next to a late model sedan that lies UPSIDE DOWN in the dark street. Smoke comes from the engine, a fre ignites. Inside the car, a WOMAN SCREAMS --) Riley (O.C.): What did I say, about low profile? [ EXT. SEATTLE – ISOLATED STREET – NIGHT ] (Riley, exasperated, stands next to a late model sedan that lies UPSIDE DOWN in the dark street. Smoke comes from the engine, a fre ignites. Inside the car, a WOMAN SCREAMS --) Riley: Something's coming... Something... Bigger than any of us alone. And if you can't... ... control yourselves... We're all going to die. (A MALE NEWBORN ignores him, as he pulls the screaming woman from the car and begins to feed on her. Nearby, two other NEWBORNS feed on prizes of their own – a PROSTITUE and a BIKE MESSENGER. Riley gives up.) Riley: What's done is done, just... ... clean up after yourselves. (CAMERA CRANES UP AND BACK TO – AN OVERPASS IN THE DISTANCE – where we find FOUR PEOPLE, utterly motionless, looking down at the mayhem.) (PUSH IN TO FIND they're the VOLTURI: Jane with her misleadingly angelic face. The hulking Felix, elegant Demtri and cherubic Alec. All wear dark coats with hoods. Jane is calling the shts.) Felix: They've already drawn too much attention. Demetri: So has our 'inaction'. Others may begin to question the Volturi's effectiveness. Jane: Let them. Felix: Maybe we should consult with Aro. (Jane sht Felix a look – Searing Pain sht through his body. The massive Felix drops to the ground writhing silently.) Jane: Aro's decisions are being watched. We must decide. (Alec carefully, gently touches her shoulder, interceding.) Alec: Then decide sister. It's time. (She releases Felix. Demetri helps him up. She smiles at Alec, utterly uncaring of the agony she just caused Felix.) Jane: Yes, it is. Either we let them do what they were created for... Or we end them. Decisions, decisions... (BACK ON RILEY – He senses something. Looks up.) (RILEY'S POV ON THE OVERPASS – the Volturi are gone. We begin to hear the pounding of dance music as we go to) [ INT. CULLEN'S HOUSE – GRADUATION PARTY – NIGHT ] (It's wall to wall with teenagers. Dancing, celebrating. Alice has transformed the place into a magical nightclub.) (ANGLE ON THE FRONT DOOR – as Bella enters, immediately overwhelmed by the crowd. She weaves her way through the throngs, searching for Edward. She finally spots him--) (BELLA'S POV – THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR) (Edward is deep in consultation with Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper. Their mood is intense) (Bella heads toward them but Jessica and Angela swoop in.) Angela: You've made it. Jessica: Hey. What'd you think of my speech? Too easy-breezy, too self-helpful? You may admit it. Bella: No, you pretty much nailed it. Jessica: Yeah? It's like I was born to lead, right? Angela: Oh, great. I love this song, let's go. (She pulls them to the dance floor where Eric and Mike find them.) (Mike and Eric start a robot battle. The girls laugh. There celebratory mood is in striking contrast to the atmosphere in the kitchen. A dance floor is Bella's idea of hell, but she forces a smile, shuffles a bit. Then she SEES --) (BELLA'S POV – ON THE FRONT DOOR) (Jacob enters, calm, confident. Quil and Embry flank him, looking tense, eyes darting around the room. Bella maneuvers off the dance floor and into Jacob's path.) Bella: What are you doing here? Jacob: You invited me, remember? Bella: Was my right hook too subtle for you? That was me uninviting you. Jacob: Look, Bella. I'm sorry... about, you know... The kiss and your hand... I'd blame it on the whole inner animal thing... But it was really just... me. Being an ass. I'm really sorry. (She sees he's sincere. She softens, nods.) Jacob: I brought you something. A graduation present. I made it myself. (He takes her hand and clasps to her wrist a CHARM BRACELET.) (INSERT – the charm: an intricately hand-carved figuring of a miniature WOLF. Bella looks at it, moved --) Bella: Oh... You made this? It's really pretty. Thanks. (Jacob's pleased. But then Bella's eye is caught by – ALICE – standing by the staircase, frozen. She's having a vision. Alarm clouds Bella's face. Jacob see it --) Bella: I'll be right back. Jacob: Why? What's going on? Bella: Nothing. Just wait here a sec. (Jacob shares a suspicious look with Embry and Quil as Bella pushes through the crowd.) (ANGLE ON THE STAIRCASE – Bella reaches Alice just as she comes out of her vision, her face alarmed.) Bella: Alice, what did you see? (Jacob appears.) Jacob: Okay, something is going on. Tell me. Alice: I... need to talk to Jasper. (Jacob puts an arm against the wall, blocking her.) Jacob: Why don't you talk to me? (Suddenly Jasper is there. His expression lethal.) Jasper: I suggest you remove – your – arm. Before I do. (Jacob does so, slowly, carefully.) Alice: The decision's been made. Bella: What's going on? You're not going to Seattle? Alice: No... They're coming here. (Off Alice we SMASH TO --) (ALICE'S VISION: SEATTLE – ABANDONED CANNERY) (Riley passes Bella's red blouse amongst the newborns. As they inhale, picking up her scent) [ EXT. CULLEN HOUSE – BACK DEN – NIGHT ] (The party continues inside. But outside, the discussion is tense. Bella, Alice, Edward, Jasper, and Carlisle debate as Jacob tries to follow. Quil and Embry are nearby, on guard.) Edward: How long? Alice: They'll be here in four days. Carlisle: This could turn into a blood bath. Edward: Who's behind it? Alice: I didn't see anyone I recognize. Maybe one... Edward: I know his face. He's local, Riley Biers. (He catches Bella's eye as she recognizes the name, shaken.) Edward: He didn't start this. Alice: Whoever did is staying out of the action. Carlisle: They must be playing with the blind spots in your vision. Jasper: Either way, the army is coming... ... and there aren't enough of us to protect the town. Jacob: Hold up. What damn army? (He's about to explode. Carlisle and Edward share a look. Edward shakes his head no, but Carlisle decides differently.) Carlisle: Newborns. Our kind. Embry: What are they after? Alice: They were passing around Bella's scent. A red blouse. Embry: They're after Bella? Jacob: What the hell does this mean? Carlisle: It means an ugly fight. With lives lost. (The weight of it lands on all of them. bat. Jacob shares a sober look with Embry and Quil. AN imperceptible nod.) Jacob: Alright... We're in. Bella: No. You'll get yourselves klled, no way. Jacob: I wasn't asking for permission. Bella: Edward. Jacob: It means more protection for you. Bella: Jacob. Carlisle: Do you believe Sam will agree to... an understanding? Jacob: As long as we get to kll some vampires. Carlise: Jasper? Jasper: They'll give us the numbers. And the newborns won't know they even exist. That'll give us an edge. Carlisle: We'll need to coordinate. Bella: Carlisle, they'll gonna get hurt. Carlisle: We'll all need some training. Fighting newborns requires knowledge that Jasper has. You're welcome to join us. Alright. Jacob: Name the time and place. [ INT. CULLEN HOUSE - PARTY – A MINUTE LATER ] (Jacob, Quil and Embry head for the door. Bella catches Jacob.) Bella: Jake... You don't know what you're getting yourself in to. Jacob: Bella... This is what we do. You should be happy. Look at us, working together. You're the one who wanted us to get along, remember? (Jacob strides out leaving her amid the revelers. As the MUSIC grows louder, PUSH IN on Bella's worried face.) [ EXT. CLEARING IN WOODS – DAWN ] (The eerie silence contrasts the previous scene's noise. It's a large field surrounded by dense forest. The mist is heavy; it's overcast, grey. Suddenly, the quiet is broke by --) (EMMETT BEING FLUNG THROUGH THE AIR, FLAILING IN SLOW MOTION. He lands HARD on his back, but immediately springs up to face Jasper, the person who threw him.) Emmett: Again. (INCLUDE Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Rosalie who watch them spar.) (ANGLE ON ARRIVING VOLVO – as it skids to a halt next to Jasper's Jeep. Edward and Bella climb out, head into the field together. Halfway across, Edward stops.) Edward: They're here. (ON THE TREELINE – from out of the mist skulk EIGHT GIANT WOLVES, as wary and on-edge as the Cullens are. Emmett recognizes Paul-wolf; their eyes meet, both itching for a rematch.) Edward: They don't trust us enough to be in their human forms. Carlisle: They came. That's what matters. (Bella sees the RED-BROWN WOLF as it turns toward her.) Bella: Jake... (He seems to almost smile, tongue lolling. A sharp look from Sam-wolf gets Jacob-wolf to focus.) Carlisle: Will you translate? (Edward nods. Carlisle moves slowly towards their pack. Sam-wolf, the biggest and blackest steps forward.) Edward: Hey, Jake. Welcome. Carlisle: Jasper has experience with newborns. He'll teach us how to defeat them. Edward: They want to know how the 'newborns' is differ from us. Carlisle: They're a great deal stronger than us, because their own human blood lingers in their tissues. Our kind is never more physically powerful... ... than in our first several months of this life. (The pack takes this in. Carlisle nods to Jasper to take over. Jasper is initially uncomfortable with both the wolves and the attention. But steps forward --) Jasper: Carlisle's right. That's why they are created. A newborn army, doesn't need thousands like a human army. And no human army could stand against them. The two most important things to remember are, first... Never let them get their arms around you. They'll crush you instantly. The second... Never go for the obvious kll. They'll be expecting that. And you will lose. Emmett? Don't hold back. Emmett: Not in my nature. (Emmett charges Jasper with impossible speed, but Jasper is a virtual BLUR. Emmett lunges several times, his strong arms grabbing at air. Jasper stops long enough to say --) Jasper: Never lose focus. One more thing... Never turn your back on your enemy. (Emmett lunges again with similar results, until suddenly he FREEZES – Jasper has him from behind, his teeth an inch from Emmettt's throat.) (Bella is taken aback by Jasper's skill. And there's an impressed RUMBLE among the watching wolves.) (TRAINING SEQUENCE – A SERIES OF shts) (Everyone takes turns sparring with Jasper, or pairing off against each other. They're all blurs, which become visible as shift to SLOW MOTION to SEE a violent but extraordinary dance.) (Alice and Jasper spar, spiraling, twisting. Jasper launches at her but with her eyes GLAZED OVER, not looking at him, she sees his moves before he makes them. Out of nowhere, Alice is perched on his back; she kisses his neck.) Alice: Gotchya. (Edward and Carlisle attck one another, but Edward can read Carlisle's mind which gives him the advantage. He twirls beyond Carlisle's grasp, then SLAMS into him delivering a vicious body blow.) Jasper (V.O.): Focus on speed, agility, keep your opponent off guard... (The wolves rise or pace, watching intently, itching to get into the fray but holding back.) Jasper (V.O.): Use their momentum against them— (ANGLE ON BELLA – anxiously wathcing these firece, life and death wr games. A portent of the volence to come.) (A FURRY MUZZLE brushes her face. Jacob-wolf is beside her, his eyes conveying concern. She pensively looks back out at the field. --) Bella: Some of you, are gonna get hurt. Some of you could get klled, because of me. It's gonna be a hundred times worse than this, right? (A bat – then Jacob nuzzles her face again. She pets him. Leans against him.) Edward (O.C.): We're done for the day. (Edward has suddenly appeared next to her. His expression is calm, but firm. Jacob-wolf eyes them... then rejoins his pack as they retreat into the woods.) [ EXT. CLEARING IN THE WOODS – LATER DAY ] (The Jeep pulls away carrying Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett.) (Bella sits on the hood of the Volvo. Jasper approaches kicking the mud from his shoes; brushing dirt off. Bella looks at him as if for the first time.) Bella: Jasper... Are you sure, there's nothing I can do to help? Jasper: Your presence alone, your scent will distract the newborns. Their hunting instinct will take over, drive them crazy. Bella: Good. I'm glad. Hey. How do you know so much about this? Jasper: I didn't have quite the same upbringing as my adopted siblings. (Hoping to end the conversation, he starts to move away but she jumps off the Jeep, following him.) (He pauses, sees her inquiring look. bat. He slowly rolls up a sleeve. Shows her --) (BELLA'S POV – CLOSE ON JASPER'S ARM) (At first we see nothing in the overcast grey light. Then it becomes clear – his arm is feathered with hundreds of white, half-moon shaped scars. Bella is aghast.) Bella: Those bites are like mine. Jasper: Battle scars. All the training the Confederate Army gave me... ... was useless against the newborns. Still, I never lost a fight. Bella: This has happened during the civil wr? (He nods as he starts to walk. She walks apace with him.) Jasper: I was the youngest major in the Texas cavalry. All without having seen any real battle. Bella: Until... Jasper: Until I'm not a certain immortal. Maria. (OFF JASPER'S FACE, darkening with the past) [ EXT. DESERT OUTSIDE HOUSE ON, TX – NIGHT (1863) ] (MATCH CUT – JASPER'S HUMAN FACE, tan and flushed with the extertion of riding his horse full throttle down the dirt road. He looks dashing in his confederate uniform.) Jasper: I was riding back to Galveston... ... after evacuating a column of women and children. When I saw her... (He slows when he sees three women in frayed dresses and bare feet. Their beauty overwhelms him. MARTA, Mexican, black-haired, porceleain-skinned is flanked by two blondes, LUCY and NETTIE. He dismounts, politely bows. Maria scrutinizes him.) Jasper: I immediately offered her my aid. Lucy (INHALING HIS SCENT): Lovely. And an officer. Nettie: You'd better do it, Maria. I can never stop once I've started. (Jasper is confused but mesmerized as Maria moves closer.) Maria: What's your name, soldier? Jasper: Major Jasper Whitlock, Ma'am. Maria: I hope you survive. You maybe of a great use to me. [ EXT. CLEARING IN THE WOODS – DAY ] (BACK ON JASPER who stops walking, the painful memory washing over him. Bella moves to a fallen log, sits.) Bella: Maria was creating an army? Jasper: They were very common in the South. And cost a brutal battles for territory. [ EXT. TEXAS DESERT – NIGHT (1860s) ] (MATCH CUT JASPER'S FACE, EYES RED – he's almost unrecognizable in his ferocity as he TEARS through an opposing ARMY of NEWBORNS, ripping off limbs, arms, heads. He's a terrifying warriror.) Jasper (V.O.): Maria won them all. She was smart, careful. And she had me. I was the second in command. My abilities to control emotions served her well. [ INT. BARN – DAY (LATE 1800's) ] (Jasper trains a group of NEWBORNS, demonstrating defensive and attck maneuvers. They're a feral-looking bunch. Jasper's eyes are gn-red, his face hard, cold –until he crosses a young, innocent-looking boy, 15. Jasper softens ever so slioghtly as he encourages the boy, who clearly looks up to him.) Jasper (V.O.): I trained her newborns. An endless occupation since she never let them live beyond their first year. (A STRONGER NEWBORN easily pins the BOY. MARIA appears behind Jasper, grabs him into a kiss, dominant and salacious. She whispers to him regarding the boy.) Jasper: It was my job to dispose of them. [ INT. BARN – NIGHT ] Jasper: I could feel everything they felt. (SEE Jasper's despair as he restrains the BOY in a choke –hold, almost an embrace before twisting the boy's head off.) [ EXT. CLEARING IN THE WOODS – DAY ] (BACK ON JASPER – his despair as acute as if it was yesterday. Alice has appeared next to him.) Jasper: I thought what Maria and I had was love. But I was her puppet. She pulled the strings. I didn't know there was another way... Until I found Alice. Now she'd seen me coming, of course. Alice: Kept me waiting long enough. Jasper: My apologies, Ma'am. I don't know what I'd have become without her. (ALICE wraps her arms around Jasper from behind him.) Alice: You'll never have to be that again. (Alice tries to kiss the ghosts away. Off Bella, taking it all in...) [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – NIGHT ] (PUSH IN ON the second story... Bella's darkened window...) [ EXT. CLEARING IN THE WOODS – NIGHT (DREAM SEQUENCE) ] (FIND Bella back in the field, only now she's alone. CAMERA CIRCLES around her until it's over her shoulder and we SEE – Jasper in front of her. Then MARIA steps next to Jasper, whispers seductively into his ear; we don't hear it --) (PUSH IN CLOSE ON JASPER'S EYES – they begin to TURN BRIGHT BLOOD RED, thirst-crazed...) (PULL OUT AGAIN to discover that it's no longer Maria next to him. It's VICTORIA.) (She lunges for Bella, but for once instead of running she faces her enemy and SWINGS --) [ INT. BELLA'S ROOM – NIGHT ] (ON BELLA IN BED – MID-SWING – Edward catches her fist. She was dreaming, but the fist was real. Her eyes focus, realizing she swung at Edward. Her heart is racing.) Edward: What is it? Bella: The intruder... The newborn army. They're all her puppets. Victoria. Edward: Alice would've seen if she wanted to make an army. Bella: Unless she's hiding behind them, and she's letting someone else decide. Maybe she found out how Alice's visions work. (Edward rises, considering.) Edward: Trust me – I want it to be her. I want her that close. To end her myself, with my own hands. (She sees the darkness in his face. Not certain what to make of his mrder side.) [ EXT. SEATTLE – UNDER A BRIDGE – NIGHT ] (It's dark. Riley appears in the shadows DRAGGING by the collar a barely conscious, athletic, young man, TRISTAN, 18. Riley effortlessly pulls Tristan's weight behind him as he traverses the long stretch of the underpass.) (ON TRISTAN'S FACE – he tries desperately to focus. The BUMP on his head prevents lucidity.) Tristan: Stop... I... (But he's dragged over a stone, CRIES OUT in pain --) (Riley ignores him, finally reaching his destination. He releases Tristan who drops hard to the ground.) (Tristan's blinded by the darkness, dazed, terrified – he starts to crawl away. He doesn't SEE a pair of boots step up behind him. He manages to get to his feet, about to run --) (Suddenly a hand wrenches him backward... it's Victoria. She forces him to his knees, his back to her. She sht a smile at Riley – he returns it, backing away from the coming blood.) (She yanks Tristan's head to the side to expose his neck.) Victoria: Welcome to the army. [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – DAY ] (Edward exits with Bella on his heels.) Bella: I'm not just gonna hide, while you're taking all the risks for me? Edward: If it's Victoria involved... I need to keep you as far away from the fight as possible. Bella: Jasper said that I could be of help. Edward: We won't need your help. With the wolves in this, it's an easy win. The rest of us, aren't gonna have enough to do. Bella: Okay, either it's so dangerous that I have to hide... Or it's so easy, that you're gonna be side blind, which is it? Edward: It's dangerous for you. It's easy for us. Bella: I think it's dangerous for us to be apart. How many times we have to prove that? I'll be worrying. You'll be worried. And we'll both feel more horrible. Edward: Okay, you're right. Bella: So, I'm coming with you. Edward: No, we've got to stay away together. Bella: I can't make you choose between me and your family, it's... Edward: The only way I can protect you, is to be with you. [ EXT. CLEARING IN THE WOODS – DAY ] (Jacob faces Bella and Edward. They're in the center of the field. Jasper stands several paces behind Edward.) Jacob: You're not fighting? What, you pull a muscle or something? Bella: He's doing it for me. Okay? (Jacob looks at her, at Edward, shakes his head with disdain.) Jacob: Whatever. Just tell me the plan. (Jasper steps forward slightly.) Jasper: This field will give us an advantage in battle. We need to lure the newborns with Bella's scent. It needs to end here. Bella: Edward and I are going on a campsite. Even if he carries me, they'll still pick up our scents. Edward: Your stench, however, is revolting. Jacob: Dude, you really don't want to start comparing stinks. Bella: What he means, is that your scent will mask mine if you carry me. Jacob: Done. Edward: This is not a good idea. Jasper: Edward. They won't want to get anywhere near his... odor. Bella: Okay, let's just try it. (Edward finally nods. She extends her arms to Jacob. He grins, picks her up, holding her tight.) Jacob: Eau de wolf, comin' up. Edward: Run. [ EXT. FOREST – DAY ] (Jacob runs through the trees carrying Bella – not super-human speed, but fast, and not breaking a sweat. Some time has passed and Jacob sets Bellla down. They start to walk, circling back slowly toward their distant starting point.) Jacob: You gonna ask me to sit out the fight, too? Or don't you care about my safety? Bella: Of course I care, but you'd say no. Jacob: So I won't have a choice anyways. Since I let Sam be alpha male. I got to live with the shts he calls. Bella: Since you let Sam be alpha? Jacob: I didn't want to be in a pack, let alone be it's their leader. Bella: Wow. Chief Jacob. Jacob: Opted out. But every choice has it's consequences. Some more than others. Bella: Don't start. Everybody makes choices, you gonna have to accept mine. Jacob: You can love more than one person at a time. I've seen it, with Sam, Emily, and Leah. Bella: Well... I'm not a wolf, I can't imprint. Jacob: It has nothing to do with imprinting. It has to do with... Feeling something for somebody. And I know you feel something for me. I can sense how I make you feel... Physically. I make you nervous. (Jacob pulls her closer, indeed, making her a little nervous.) Bella: Jake. Jacob: Don't worry. I promised I wouldn't kiss you again until you asked. Bella: You're going to be keeping that promise for a while, Chief. (He sees he's gotten to her, grins.) [ EXT. CLEARING IN THE WOODS – DAY ] (BACK ON EDWARD as Jasper jogs out of the woods.) Jasper: All I picked up was wolf stench. No Bella. This will work. Edward: Great. [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – AFTERNOON ] (Bella climbs from her truck just as Alice exits the house with Charlie. The two laugh, enjoying one another. As Alice heads down the stairs...) Charlie: Okay, Alice. Don't be a stranger. Alice: Okay. (Bella, surprised, waves back as Charlie heads into the house. Alice meets Bella in the yard.) Alice: Your alibi for the battle is all arranged. Bella: Really? Alice: I told your father that our whole family's going camping this weekend. So you and I are having a sleep over at my house. Charlie is going fishing anyway. Bella: Charlie? You guys run for the same basis now? Alice: Me, he likes. Actually, you and Edward will have the house to yourself tonight. Bella: Like alone? Alice: We're all going hunting, powering up for the battle. You're welcome. (OFF BELLA, flushed with anticipation and nerves...) [ INT. BELLA'S HOUSE – KITCHEN – AFTERNOON ] (BELLA enters has Charlie makes a sandwich. He looks up.) Charlie: Hey. Do you want a sandwich? Bella: No, I'm good. Charlie: Well, the sister... I like. Bella: Alice. Yeah, she's great. (She moves to the sink, starts washing dishes, overly casual --) Bella: Hey, Dad. I was wondering... Why didn't you get remarried, after Mom? Charlie: I don't know... Guess I still haven't met the right gal. Why? Bella: I don't know. I thought you just... Maybe you gave up on the whole institution of it. Of marriage. But do you think there's any value in it? Charlie: Yeah. Yeah, marriage has value. When you're older. Much older. Like you're mother... It seem to work out fine for her the second time round. Later in life. Bella: Yeah, I guess. I mean... Charlie: You definitely don't wanna have to get married, because you weren't... careful. Bella: What? Charlie: Look, you know what I'm talking about. There's... Things, that you need to think about it, if you... If you gonna be... physically intimate. Bella: Okay. Don't... until we've enough of 'The Talk'. Charlie: Don't you just quit. It's just as embarrassing for me, as it is for you. Bella: I doubt that. And don't bother, 'cause Mom bat you too early ten years ago. Charlie: Well, you didn't have a boyfriend ten years ago. Bella: I'm sure things work the same way. Charlie: Alright. So... You guys are... taking precautions, and... Bella: Okay, dad. Please just don't worry about that. Edward is... old school. Charlie: Old school, great. What's that? Like a code for something? Bella: Oh my God. Dad... I'm a virgin. Charlie: Okay, good. Glad we covered that. Bella: Me too. Charlie: Virgin... Liking Edward a little bit more now. (Bella, mortified, bolts for the door.) [ EXT. CULLEN HOUSE – NIGHT ] (Bella approaches the front door, overnight bag on her shoulder. She's nervous. Awkward. She arranges her hair. Straightens her sweater. Checks her breath --) (THE DOOR SUDDENLY OPENS – to reveal Edward, worried.) Edward: What are you doing here outside? What's wrong? Bella: Nothing. (He looks at her quizzically, but takes her bag, shows her in. She takes a deep breath and enters.) [ INT. EDWARD'S BEDROOM – NIGHT ] (Bella follows Edward into the room to find a large, luxurious, wrought-iron bed. She stops at the sight of it.) Bella: There's a bed. Edward: I thought you might need one to sleep in. (She tentatively moves to it, sitting on it's edge.) Bella: I think an air mattress would've sufficed. Edward: It is too much? Bella: No. No, it's perfect. (Inhaling courage, she scoots to the bed's center.) Bella: I want to ask you something. (He sees something's on her mind. Joins her on the bed.) Edward: Anything. Bella: Okay, marriage is the condition for you, to change me yourself, right? Edward: Yes. Bella: Okay. I want to negotiate my own condition. Edward: Anything you want, It's yours. Bella: Do you promise? Edward: Yeah. (Bella looks at him. Then leans over, kisses him. Awkwardly, she moves closer still, kisses him again, more deeply... he returns the kiss. Passion sweeps over them. But as she attempts to unbutton his shirt – he pulls back.) Edward: Bella... no. Bella: You've said that you wanted me to have every human experience. Edward: Not the ones that support risk klling you. Bella: You won't. And everyone says, once I'm changed... ... all I'm gonna want is to slaughter the whole town. Edward: That part doesn't last forever. Bella: I want you. While I'm still me. While I still want you this way. Edward: It's too dangerous. Bella: Try... Just try. I'll go to some ridiculously expensive college... ... and let you buy me a car. I'll marry you, just try. (He sees how important it is to her. Wrest less with his own conflicting desires. A difficult internal debate.) Bella: Please. (She sees he's on the fence. She tentatively moves closer. Kisses his forehead. His cheek. His lips... he allows himself to kiss her back. And he keeps going.) (Passion builds again... she successfully tugs his shirt off. Bare chested, he pulls her closer. They fall back on the bed... but when she tries to take off her own shirt – he finally pulls back, trying to retrieve his wits.) Edward: Stop trying to take your clothes off. Bella: Do you want to do that part? Edward: Not tonight. (She shrinks back. Utterly humiliated. Rejected.) Bella: Okay. I mean, you don't... But, fine. (He quickly moves to her side. Grabs her up, pulling her close, intense desire in his eyes.) Edward: Believe me, I want to. I just want to be married to you first. (He kisses her hand. Bella's trying to sort this out.) Bella: You really make me feel like I'm some sort of like a villain trying... ... steal your virtue or something. Edward: It's not my virtue I'm concerned about. Bella: Are you kidding? Edward: It's just one rule, I wanna leave unbroken. It might be too late for my soul, but I will protect yours. I know it's not a modern notion. Bella: It's not modern. It's ancient. Edward: I'm from a different era. Things were... a lot less complicated. And if I met you back then... (He slides off the bed, still holding her hand – PUSH IN ON BELLA'S FACE AS --) Edward: I would've courted to you. We'd have taken chaperoned strolls, or had iced tea on the porch. I may have stolen a kiss or two. But, only... ... after asking your father's permission. I would've got down on one knee. (Edward, now on one knee...) Edward: And I would presented you with a ring. (He takes from his pocket a little BLACK BOX, and flips it open to reveal--) (INSERT – THE SPARKLING RING – a long oval face with slanting rows of glittering stones, set within a fragile web of gold.) Edward: This was my mother's. (The beautiful ring literally takes Bella's breath away. Edward pulls her to her feet as he remains on his knee. Fear and love do battle within her as--) Edward: Isabella Swan. I promise to love you, every moment forever. And would you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me? (As he slips the ring on her finger, she is overcome. Tears spring to her eyes as, finally, love wins out...) Bella: Yes. (He rises, overjoyed, and embraces her, lifting her off her feet. He is joyous. She reels, overwhelmed, ambivalence, not entirely gone as she takes in the ring on her finger...) [ INT. SEATTLE – ABANDONED CANNERY – NIGHT ] (ON RILEY AND VICTORIA – in an embrace, a dark, discomfiting mirror image of the previous scene. They're on a secluded catwalk, away from the newborn army.) Riley: You're not coming with us? Victoria: It will be a last minute decision. I told you how it works. Riley: Right. The Cullens have powers. (Victoria pulls away, ever so slightly irritated by his tone.) Victoria: Don't underestimate them, Riley. You'll have the numbers, but they'll be able to... ... anticipate your every move. Riley: According to your friend. (She looks at him, not sure where he's going with this. She circles him.) Victoria: Yes. My dad friend. Laurent found out about the things they could do, and they klled him. But not before he told me. Riley: Maybe he was wrong. I mean... This is supposed to be... Cullen territory. But we've been tearing it up and I've never even seen them here. (Fury flashes in her eyes. She's suddenly standing several feet away from him.) Victoria: You don't trust me. Riley: With my life. I'm just saying that... Victoria: I'm doing this for us. So that we can feed, without their retaliation. I can't live in fear anymore, waiting for them to attck. (He's suddenly next to her, wrapping his arms around her.) Riley: I won't let them. I'm going to end the Cullen clan. I swear. (She looks at him, then kisses him, hard.) Victoria: I love you. So much. (He embraces her – but over his shoulder, we see her eyes go flat, the emotion disappearing.) [ EXT. TRAIL IN THE WOODS – MORNING ] (CLOSE BELLA'S FINGER (sans ring) – A PIN PRICKS IT and a single drop of BLOOD appears.) (INCLUDE BELLA who touches her finger to the side of a tree. She moves up the trail to the next tree, touching it was well. A cold wind blows. The clouds above are dark. She continues, making her way to --) [ EXT. THE CLEARING – MORNING ] (Bella emerges into the empty field. She touches another tree. Edward comes up behind her.) Edward: You're going overboard. Bella: If this is all I can contribute, I want to be thorough. Edward: The newborns will be frantic. Now let me put a bandage on that. (He reaches for her left hand. She pulls it away, worried --) Bella: It's Okay. Don't make yourself uncomfortable. Edward: It doesn't bother me anymore. Bella: Since when? (He takes her hand. Puts a bandage on it.) Edward: Since I spent 24 hours thinking you were dad. (He continues to hold her hand. Gives her a quizzical look.) Edward: You're not wearing your ring. Bella: Well, I didn't want to risk losing it. Edward: Or risk Jacob seeing it? Bella: I think we should wait to tell him. I mean, at least till after the fight. Edward: If you're having second thoughts... Bella: I'm not. I just want him to have a clear head. Jacob (O.C.): Whose head is unclear? (They spin to find Jacob across the clearing. He approaches --) Bella: Nobody's, I hope. (Edward and Jacob nod curtly to one another. Jacob eyes the cloudy sky. Edward does the same.) Edward: Alice says there's a storm coming. Jacob: Yeah, I can feel it. We should get going. Edward: I'll take the longer route. But I'll get there first. Set up camp. (Jacob nods. Edward turns to Bella, searing her face for ambivalence or surety. Finally, he kisses her forehead --) Edward: I'll see you in a couple of hours. (He grabs her bag and some gear, leaves. Jacob eyes Bella.) Jacob: Something up? Bella: A bunch of vampires trying to kll me. Jacob: Same old, same old. (They share a smile as he slings her onto his back.) [ EXT. ABANDONED LUMBER YARD ON THE WATER – DAY ] (Riley leads the ARMY OF NEWBORNS across this ghostly yard. They move at a trot, LEAPING over pyramids of rotting logs. As they head for the water, FIND BREE, doubt on her face...) [ EXT. WOODS – DAY ] (Jacob runs with Bella, maintining a steady jog, effortlessly carrying her weight. She holds onto him, he mind heavy with concerns --) [ EXT. PUGET SOUND BEACH – LATER DAY ] (ON THE MISTY DESERTED BEACH... eerily, Riley rises form the water. Muddy and drenched but unfazed by the frigid water. He doesn't break stride, simply heads for the woods.) (One by one the rest of the army appears behind him. They follow Riley, picking up speed. First walking, then running – an unstoppable force.) (At the rear is BREE...) [ EXT. WOODS – LATER DAY ] (BACK ON JACOB CARRYING BELLA, climbing the mountainside, going up and up.) (INTERCUTTING ENDS as Jacob and Bella reach --) [ EXT. MOUNTAINS – EVENING – AERIAL sht TO ESTABLISH ] (Jacob & Bella reach the peak where Edward waits near the tent.) [ EXT. MOUNTAIN PEAK – EVENING ] (Snow falls in earnest now, glacial winds blow, Jacob sets Bella down. They hurry to the left side of the peak to find – a campsite – erected against the sheltering face of the peak. Edward stands by the tent pacing, waiting. He's acutely relieved to see her. He hugs her. Turns to Jacob--) Edward: Thank you. (Jacob nods. Bella turns to Jacob as well.) Bella: You should get back before the storm hits. Jacob: No, I'm staying. You'll need my connection to the pack, to keep tabs on what's going on. (Edward looks down, none-too-happy but knowing Jacob's right.) Bella: You're not going to fight? Jacob: Seth will spell me in the morning. He's not happy about missing the action, but it'll keep him out of trouble. (Edward notes her disappointment. Be he covers, guiding her toward the tent.) Edward: Let's get you inside. [ EXT. TENT – NIGHT ] (Snow blows sideways as the wind batters the tent. A light glows from inside --) [ INT. EDWARD AND BELLA'S TENT – SAME ] (A lantern burns. Bella's wrapped in her down sleeping bag, fully dressed. But her teeth still rattle. It's that cold.) Edward: I should have chosen a site lower down. Bella: No, It's fine. I'm okay. Edward: What can I do? (She can only shake her head.) [ INT. EDWARD AND BELLA'S TENT – SAME ] (Suddenly the front ZIPPER opens – to reveal JACOB.) Jacob: I can't sleep with all that teeth chattering going on. (Jacob starts to climb into the tent. Edward reads his mind.) Edward: Forget it. Jacob: She may need her toes someday. And let's face it... I'm hotter than you. (Jacob begins to crawl to Bella's side but Edward's hand is suddenly hard on his shoulder. Jacob's jaw clenches.) Jacob: Get your hand off me. Edward: Get your hands off her. Bella: Don't fight. (Edward sees her severe discomfort. He very reluctantly pulls his hand away. Jacob looks at him in all seriousness.) Jacob: She gets sick, it's on you. (Edward debates, then makes a hard choice... he nods. Jacob climbs into the sleeping bag next to Bella. Edward seethes.) Jacob: Why. you're freezing, Bella. Relax, You'll warm up soon. Faster if you took your clothes off. Bella: Jake. Jacob: Survival one oh one. (Edward glares. But quickly sees that Bella shivering begins to lessen, and the relief of warmth sweep over her. Off Edward, envious...) [ INT. TENT – LATER NIGHT ] (ON BELLA, no longer shaking. Her eyelids are losing the fight against sleep. INCLUDE JACOB, spooned behind her, resting on one elbow, facing Edward across the tent. Edward glares at him.) Edward: Can you, at least attempt to control your thoughts? Jacob: I really get under that ice cold skin of yours, don't I? What? Are you doubting her feelings for you? (On BELLA – her eyes flicker open slightly. The guys don't see she's awake. When Edward doesn't answer, Jacob scoffs.) Jacob: Nice... So picking through my brain's okay, but letting me into yours, forget it. Look... I know she's in love with you. Edward: Oh, good. Jacob: But she's in love with me, too. She just won't admit it to herself. Edward: I can't tell you if you're right. (Jacob's taken aback by his honesty.) Jacob: Then let me ask you something. If she chooses me... Edward: She won't. Jacob: If she did. Would you try to kll me? (ON BELLA – she waits for the answer.) Edward: That's an intriguing idea. But no. I couldn't hurt her like that. Jacob: No, you'd just turn her into a bloodsucking demon like you. Edward: I don't want that. I never wanted that. Jacob: So stop her. Edward: I tried. I left. Jacob: But you gave up too quickly. If you'd stayed away another six months, I could've made her happy. Trust me. You have to consider... ... that I might be better for her than you are. Edward: I have considered that. I know you can protect her. But you can give her a life, a human life. It's all I want for her. But, I'm not... I'm not going to force her into anything, ever again. The last time I tried, it almost klled us both. Jacob: Yeah, that I remember. When you thought she was gone... ... that you'd lost her... How did you... cope? Edward: There're no words. But I wouldn't wash it on anyone, Jacob. This might sound odd, but I'm glad you're here. As much as I'd love to kll you, I'm glad she's warm. If we weren't natural enemies... ... and you weren't trying to steal my reason for existing... I might actually like you. Jacob: Well... If you weren't planning on sucking the life out of the girl I love, I might... No... Not even then. (Edward has to laugh. As we PUSH IN ON BELLA'S FACE – sleep taking over...) Jacob (V.O.): But she could still change her mind, you know. Edward (V.O.): Then I'd let her go. (CLOSE ON BELLA'S FACE – SUDDENLY IN BRIGHT LIGHT) (HER EYES OPEN, MORNING LIGHT BLINDING HER.) [ INT. TENT – MORNING ] (THE SUN OUTSIDE ILLUMINATES THE TENT. BELLA IS ALONE.) [ EXT. TENT – MORNING ] (The wind has died. The ground is white with snow, the campsite eerily quiet. The tent unzups and Bella climbs out... to FIND – A YOUNG WOLF staring at her, sitting on his haunches.) Bella: Hi, Seth. (Seth-wolf pants a little; it passes for “hello”) Bella: Where's Jacob? Did he already... Edward (O.C.): Not yet. (She turns as Edward rounds the peak, joins her.) Edward: He's checking to see if the woods are clear before he goes. (He wraps his arms around her. Seth-wolf jogs off.) Bella: I'm really sorry about last night. I couldn't have been easy on you. Edward: It definitely won't make my list of top ten favorite evenings. Bella: You have a list? Edward: All ten I spent with you. Number one is when you said you'd marry me. Mrs. Cullen. Bella: This is the twenty-first century, I always wanna hyphenate my name. Jacob (O.C.): You're marrying him? (She spins to find Jacob has reappeared. His face is devastated, fighting tears of rage, betrayal.) Bella: Jake... You knew he was listening? Edward: He deserves to know. (Which confirms for Jacob that it's true. He turns, strides toward the woods. Bella starts to run after him.) Bella: Jake, stop. Edward: Bella, let him... Bella: Don't. (Edward sees her desperation. He sinks, resignedly, and heads into the woods, disappearing. Bella races to Jacob --) Bella: Jake, stop. Jake, please. Jacob: I'm done. I'm so done. Bella: What can I do? Jacob: You can't do anything. I can. By going out there and klling something. Bella: No. You're not thinking clearly, don't do that. Jacob: Maybe I'll get myself klled and make it simple for you. Bella: No. Just, Jake... Stay. Jacob: Why? Give me one good reason. Bella: Because I don't wanna lose you. Jacob: It's not good enough. Bella: Because you're too important. Jacob: Still not good enough. (He keeps moving. She searches for something to convice him --) Bella: Jacob. Kiss me. (He stops. Looks back at her.) Bella: I'm asking you to kiss me. (He grabs her and kisses her. His anger melts into passion. As the kiss continues, Bella, to her surprise finds herself surrendering to it.) (PUSH IN CLOSE ON HER FACE as a wave of repressed feelings rises up, flooding her mind.) [ EXT. BELLA'S HOUSE – DAY (BELLA'S FANTASY) ] (A SERIES OF FAST DISSOLVES, ONE INTO ANOTHER – YEARS PASS) (Bella and Jacob arm in arm, sitting on the stoop in the bright sunlight...) (Now they're in their late 20's – they rock an INFANT. Renee appears, takes the child, joyously tosses her grandchild in the air.) (Early 30's – there are two kids now. Jacob roughhouses with the oldest boy as Bella and a happy, aging CHARLIE help the TODDLER GIRL to walk.) (40's – their TWO GROWN KIDS pile out of Jacob's car. Home for a holiday. Gray-haired Charlie and Billy are there with Bella to welcome them...) (60's – Bella and Jacob who are graying now, playing with their own grandchildren. Contended. A family.) [ EXT. CAMPSITE – ECU – MORNING ] (On Bella) (She abruptly snaps out of it. Pulls away, reeling. Jacob whispers in her ear.) Jacob: That should have been our first kiss. (Jacob is torn, doesn't want to leave.) Jacob: I gotta go. I'll be back. (Jacob heads out to the fight. Bella's eyes water with guilt, confusion, emotion – she hurries back to the tent.) Bella: Edward. (He appears from around the rock, comes toward her. She sees his face, stops.) Bella: You saw. Edward: No. But Jacob's thoughts are very loud. Bella: I don't know what happened. Edward: You love him. Bella: I love you more. Edward: I shouldn't have forced you to choose. Bella: Please don't be understanding. I don't deserve it. Edward: It's my fault. When I went away, I left you bleeding and he stitched you up. I can't blame you for something I made necessary. Bella: Don't you dare blame yourself. Edward: I just want you to be happy, no matter – (He stops abruptly – turns to see Seth-wolf loping out of the woods, growling. Edward reads his thoughts --) (FLASHPOP TO – EXT. CLEARING IN THE WOODS – MORNING) (SETH'S/EDWARD'S VISION) (A PAIR OF MALE BARE FEET step onto the wet grass. PAN UP TO FIND A NEWBORN. Hungry. Ready for a fight) (BACK ON EDWARD – HIS EXPRESSION GRAVE. HE TURNS TO BELLA.) Edward: It's starting. [ EXT. CLEARING IN THE WOODS – MORNING ] (BACK ON THAT MALE NEWBORN – A bat, then suddenly from behind him, the whole newborn army blitzes out of the woods and into the field! SEE the frenzy in their eyes. Their rabid thirst as they follow the scent of Bella's blood. But the scent trail ends here. They're confused...) (Suddenly something BOLTS from the trees with lightning speed and tackles a newborn) (The other newborns spin to find a lethal-looking Jasper in a crouch beside his victim's body.) (They rush Jasper but – Bam! Bam! Bam! Three of them go down, tackled by Esme, Rosalie, Carlisle, Emmett and Alice) (Out of nowhere lunges Sam-Wolf, flanked by two wolves. They tear a newborn to pieces. Four other wolves dive into the fray.) (WE SMASH FROM ONE SAVAGE CONFLICT TO ANOTHER, RAW, BRUTAL) (Emmett sprints full-bore into the fight, relishing the battle.) (The wolves work as a pack, coordinated, deadly.) (Jasper controls the field – strategy and speed vs strength.) (Rosalie fights with icy calm. Alice with precognition. Esme and Carlisle fight side by side.) (The newborns are brutal and strong as hell. Our vampires/wolves are taking some vicious hits.) (IN SLOW MOTION – Jacob-wolf charges into the clearing, tackling a newborn, going for it's neck.) [ EXT. CAMPSITE – SAME ] (ON Edward reading Seth-wolf's mind, translating for Bella.) Edward: Jacob just got there. He's good. (Stay on Edward's face as he SEES the action through Seth-wolf's mind. Camera circles Edward as Bella and his surroundings disappear – dissolving into--) [ THE BATTLE FIELD (INSIDE EDWARD'S MIND) ] (Edward stands amidst the fight, the action all around him) (Sam and Jacob charge a newborn – each wolf grab an arm in the mouths and RIP) (Paul is surrounded by Three Newborns; Emmett comes to his aid. They share a look, a bttlefield rapprochement.) (Carlisle and Esme move in on Bree – but she backs up frightened. Esme and Carlisle share a look. They relax their attck stance, try to calm her, talk to her...) (Alice darts from newborn to newborn, not even looking at them, knowing their next move. She sweeps their feet, keeping them off balance, confusing them.) (Jasper is a step behind her, trying to give her cover.) (Edward sees a newborn take note of Jasper's protective actions. Edward yells at Jasper, though he can't hear.) Edward: Jasper – back off – you can't be everywhere at – watch out! (As a newborn appears behind Jasper and BITES his shoulder. Alice spins, FLINGS the newborn to Rosalie, Emmett, and Carlisle who kll him. Alice tends to Jasper.) Alice: I can handle myself. [ EXT. MOUNTAIN CAMPSITE – BACK ON EDWARD AND BELLA ] Bella: Is Jasper alright? Edward... (But he only sees Seth's thoughts, talks to himself...) Edward: Don't let them protect each other, good, go around... (Suddenly Edward stops, blinks, briefly disoriented as his mind is cut-off from the bttlefield. He looks around, finds Seth frozen as well. They share a tense look.) Bella: Someone's hurt? Edward: Seth, go. (Seth bolts away from the campsite, fast.) Bella: Is it Jasper? (Edward whips Bella behind him against a cliff wall and takes a defensive stance in front of her.) Edward: She's close. I can hear her thoughts. She knew we weren't there, but she caught my scent. [ EXT. CLEARING – TREELINE/bttlefield – MINUTES EARLIER ] (Victoria searches the bttlefield from the treeline. She abruptly turns away from the fight, and starts running, following Edward's scent.) Edward: She knew you'd be with me. Bella: She found us. Edward: She's not alone. (Which is when Riley steps out of the woods. Bella immediately recognizes him, is taken aback. Riley edges closer, watching Edward's every move. As they both carefully position themselves.) Edward: Riley... Listen to me. Victoria's just using you, to distract me. But she knows I'll kll you. (Riley hesitates. Surprised to be addressed.) Edward: In fact, she'll be glad she doesn't have to deal with you anymore. (Victoria emerges from the woods, forming a triangle with Riley – Bella and Edward at the apex.) Victoria: Don't listen, Riley. I told you about their mind tricks. Edward: I can read her mind, so I know what she thinks of you. Victoria: He's lying. Edward: She only created you and this army to avenge her true mate, James. It's the only thing she cares about. Not you. (Riley's beginning to hesitate. He glances at Victoria.) Victoria: There's only you. You know that. (Riley focuses back on Edward, positioning himself to attck. Victoria's eyes burrow into Bella's with bloodlust, revenge.) Edward: Think about it. You're from Forks, you know the area. That's the only reason she chose you. She doesn't love you. (Riley falters ever so slightly, doubt seeping into his mind. But Victoria's face is convincingly emotional.) Victoria: Riley... Don't let him do this to us. You know I love you. (Riley needs to believe her. His resolve returns.) Riley: You're dad. (Riley charges toward Edward who doesn't move because he knows --) (Seth-wolf is leaping from the cliff above to land on Riley, taking a chunk out of Riley's hand.) (Riley roars with fury and pain as Seth-wolf circles back for another attck. While Seth-wolf keeps Riley on the defense, Edward starts toward --) (Victoria – she backs toward the trees. Edward sees she's about to escape – DARTS into her path --) Edward: You can escape. You always do. But you won't get another chance like this again. (Victoria hisses at him, backs further away.) Edward: You want her. You want me to feel the pain you felt when I klled James. When I tore him to pieces. When I turned him into ash. When I turned him into nothing. (Victoria finally erupts and CHARGES Bella --) (But Edward never lets her get close – he intercepts her and they ROLL down the hill in a death grip --) (ON BELLA – watching this battle, desperate to help--) (Meanwhile Riley kicks Seth-wolf hard against the cliff. Sharp shards of rock fall around Bella.) (Seth-wolf, battered, goes down. Riley spins toward Bella.) (Edward now has to protect Bella from BOTH VAMPIRES! And he does with impressive skill – with lightning fast speed, he bolts to Riley, kicking him back, he darts to Victoria, smashing into her --) (As Seth-wolf struggles to rise, Riley joins Victoria's battle providing her with the tiny advantage she needs --) (BELLA'S POV ON EDWARD – Riley tackles him to his knees, Victoria grabs Edward from behind --) (TIME FREEZES – SLOW MOTION as Bella's eyes meet Edward's) (CLOSE ON BELLA'S FACE – SEE her clarity, she's never in her life been more sure of what she wants than in this moment – with purpose she grabs up a sharp piece of slate) (Bella plunges the shard downward, sab her arm. Blood immediately flows dripping bright red onto the white snow.) (ON RILEY spinning toward Bella, the scent making him wild.) (ON VICTORIA catching the smell; her head whips toward Bella.) (Edward seizes the moment – dad drops to the ground while FLIPPING Victoria over his head, across the clearing and INTO A TREE BREAKING IT IN TWO) (Edward spins on Riley who's still bedazzled by the blood.) (HEAR A SCREECHING SOUND like metal tearing, as suddenly, Riley's SCREAMING! His arm is gone! Edward tosses the arm aside and bolts back to Victoria) (Seth-wolf, recovered, LEAPS UP, tackles Riley and drags him screaming into the woods.) Riley: Victoria. Victoria. (Victoria doesn't even glance at him, revelaing to Riley the painful truth. The last thing we see of Riley is his tragically betrayed face... then we HEAR the sounds of Seth tearing him apart, the metallic screeching...) (As Bella tears her shirt to create a make-shift bandage ---) (Edward charges Victoria – the two clash and begin a blurred battle. Until he pummels her down and, finally, maneuvers himself behind her, gelling her in a death grip.) (Victoria struggles; Bella is directly in her eye-line. She glares at Bella who glares back, every bit as fiercely.) (Edward's lips are at Victoria's neck – it looks as if he kisses her – he BITES a huge chunk from her neck, ripping her head off.) (AS BELLA WATCHES Victoria's body crumple to the ground.) (ALL SOUND DISAPPEARS. The air goes still. The atmosphere changes. This nemesis, this relentless demon, is finally dad. Or almost. Eerily, it still moves slightly.) (A long bat. Then Edward looks up at Bella. Their eyes meet. But shame, fear, cloud his face. She moves toward him. Slowly. Purposefully. As she reaches him, he turns away.) Bella: Edward Edward: I didn't want you to see that. (She stops him, touches his face tenderly, her eyes telling him it's ok.) Edward: I'll get some bandages for your arm. (He starts for the tent but Seth-wolf lets out a sharp BARK. Edward turns; his expression fills with concern.) Bella: Something's wrong. Edward: Alice needs us to go. And now. Bella: Why? What's happening? [ EXT. WOODS – DAY ] (SLOW MOTION – The Volturi – Jane, Alec, Demetri, Felix – slide past the trees with effortless grace and speed...) [ EXT. CLEARING IN THE WOODS – DAY ] (A massive fre burns as the Cullens and the wolves hurriedly drag what's left of the newborns to it for the incineration. A purple-black smoke rises.) (Edward and Bella race out of the trees, bee-lining for Alice and the rest of the Cullens gathered near the fre.) Edward: How long? Alice: A few minutes. Maybe ten. (Bella scans the field for Jacob as --) Rosalie: They timed their arrival well. Emmett: Probably hoping the newborns took a few of us out. (Edward stops as he sees someone by the fre --) Edward: What's she doing here? (Bella looks to the fre – by which cowers the newborn BREE.) Esme: We offered her safe haven if she stopped fighting, she took it. Carlisle: The pack needs to leave. The Volturi won't honor a truce with the werewolves. Bella: Where's Jacob? Edward: There... (BELLA'S POV – ON THE TREELINE CLEAR ACROSS THE FIELD.) (JACOB-WOLF emerges. Bella sighs with enormous relief. He sees her as well, starts toward her – but suddenly – he hears a vicious snarl coming from behind him in the woods, spins to SEE--) (IN THE WOODS – A light grey wolf (Leah) cornering one last male newborn who was hiding. Leah charges--) (ON EDWARD WITH THE CULLENS – he can't see the conflict, but he can hear it in his mind.) Edward: Leah, don't! (BACK ON LEAH-WOLF AND THE MALE NEWBORN IN THE WOODS) (The male newborn maneuvers out of her way, spins and GRABS HER RUFF, fiercely YANKING her off her paws but--) (JACOB LEAPS ON THE MALE NEWBORN, tackling him – they roll into – THE CLEARING – where Jacob BITES A PIECE OF HIS FACE OFF.) (But the male newborn gets his ARMS AROUND JACOB AND CRUSHES HIM! Jacob HOWLS in agony.) (Bella sees this from afar.) Bella: Jacob! (THE OTHER WOLVES are instantly there and pounce on the male newborn, their teeth forcing him to release Jacob who crumples to the ground. As they pull him apart --) (Edward and Carlisle appear at Jacob's sisde.) (ON BELLA – RACING across the field to reach Jacob.) (ON JACOB AS TRANSFORMS INTO A HUMAN, naked, grotesquely twisted and broken, barely able to breathe. Carlisle quickly examines him as he writhes in pain; Edward steadies him, gripping his hand.) Edward: Hold on, Carlisle is gonna take care of you. Carlisle: The bones on the right half of his body are shattered. (Jacob, in excruciating pain, squeezes Edward's hand.) (Bella reaches them, dropping to her knees beside Jacob. She strokes his face, trying to comfort him.) Jacob: Bella. Bella: Jake, I'm right here. (Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry, Quil and Leah, now in human form race up.) Leah: Jacob, you idiot. I had it. Sam: Leah. Carlisle: I need to set the bones before his accelerated healing kicks in. It's already starting. Edward: We need to get him out of here. We're not gonna win a fight with the Volturi. Sam: We'll take him back to Billy's. Carlisle: I'll be there as soon as I can. Bella: Hang in there, Jake. We got you. (Jacob cries out in pain as the pack lift him. Bella agonizes as she watches them disappear into the woods. She and Edward exchange a look of shared concern.) Alice: They're here. (The Cullens gather in the center of the field, converging around Bella. She sees nothing through the oily smoke from the fre.) Jane (O.C.): It appears you've done our work for us. (From out of the mist and the smoke emerge – The Volturi – Jane and behind her, Felix, Demetri and Alec. Jane asses the scene, taking in Bella as well.) Jane: Impressive. I've never seen a coven escape an asault of this magnitude intact. Carlisle: We were lucky. Jane: I doubt that. Alec: It appears we missed an entertaining fight. Jane: Yes. It's not often we're rendered unnecessary. Edward: If you'd arrived a half hour ago, you would've fulfilled your purpose. Jane: Pity. (Jane then sees the newborn, BREE, crouching by the fre.) Jane: You missed one. Carlisle: We offered her asylum in exchange for her surrender. Jane: That wasn't yours to offer. (As Jane moves to Bree, Esme sh*t Carlisle a concerned look. Carlisle subtly shakes his head, don't.) Jane: Why did you come? (Before Bree can answer, Jane focuses her power, sending an invisible searing current through Bree's body. Bree SCREAMS in pain. Bella flinches. Esme quickly steps up.) Esme: They came to destroy us – to kll Bella. (Jane ignores Esme, continues her trture, enjoying it.) Jane: Who created you? Esme: You don't need to do that. She'll tell you anything you want to know. Jane: I know. (Carlisle puts a hand on Esme's shoulder. Bree's screaming briefly stops. Jane waits for an answer.) Bree: I don't know Riley wouldn't tell us. He said our thoughts weren't safe. (Jane ZAPS her again – Esme is about to say something.) Edward: Her name was Victoria. Perhaps you knew her. (Bree's pain abruptly ceases. Jane faces Edward with an innocent smile that's somehow unnerving.) (The other three Volturi are suddeny positioned behind Jane. We didn't even see them move.) (Bella plants herself firmly at Edward's side. The air is tense. This could turn bad, fast. Carlisle intercedes with great and purposeful calm.) Carlisle: Edward. If the Volturi had knowledge of Victoria, they would've stopped her. Isn't that right, Jane? (Jane just looks at Carlisle. A long bat.) Jane: Of course. Felix. (Felix moves to Bree.) Esme: She didn't know what she was doing. We'll take responsibility for her. Give her a chance. Jane: The Volturi don't give second chances. Keep that in mind. Caius will be interested to know that she's still human. Bella: The date is set. (Jane is ever so slightly taken aback by Bella's confidence. Her look lingers on Bella – this human. Edward stands ready to defend her. But Jane turns back to Felix.) Jane: Take care of that, Felix. I'd like to go home. (Meanwhile Felix, with his enourmous strenght, easily tears Bree from limb to limb. Her SCREAMS quickly cease, though the metallic screeching sound continues.) Jane: Thank you, Felix. Until next time. (The Cullens can do nothing but stand by, grim-faced. Esme tries not to watch.) (Off Bella, fighting revulsion, but standing strong with the rest of the Cullens, as the thick plume of SMOKE rises...) [ EXT. JACOB'S HOUSE – NIGHT ] (Billy sits in his wheelchair on the porch, surrounded by the pack, including Emily but sans Sam. They wait anxiously.) (BELLA'S TRUCK pulls up. She hurriedly climbs out.) (As she reaches the porch a loud yell of excruciating pain emanates from inside the house; Jacob. Bella flinches, feeling the pain herself. They all do.) (It's all Billy can do to keep it together. Emily, next to him, puts an arm around his shoudlers.) Quil: It's been going on for a while. Embry: Doc's rebreaking his bones. (Bella reacts to the horror of that. Leah paces.) Leah: Why'd he have to butt in? I could've taken that tick... Paul: Oh, give it a rest, Leah. (They all spin toward the front door as it opens Carlisle exits with Sam.) Carlisle: The worst is over. He'll be alright. (Billy exhales heavily, tears thrat. Sam puts a hand on Billy's shoulder. Emily wraps an arm around Sam's waist.) Carlisle: I gave him some morphine, but his body temperature will burn it off soon. I'll come back to set up a drip. Billy: Thank you. Carlisle: He's asking for you. (They all look at her. A combination of pleading – “don't hurt him” – and thrat – “if you hurt him” – OFF Bella, as she heads inside.) [ INT. JACOB'S ROOM - NIGHT ] (Bella quietly enters to find Jacob lying in bed. The entire right side of his body is in a series of braces. Bella can't bear to see him this way.) Bella: Hey, Jake. (He looks up with some effort. Breath short. But he smiles.) Jacob: Hey. I was worried about you. Bella: You were worried about me? Jacob: Yeah. I guessed Edward would read my thoughts. Was he hard on you? Bella: He wasn't even mad at me. Or you. Jacob: Well, damn. He's better than I thought. Bella: He's not playing a game. Jacob: Right. Bella... He's not as perfect as you think. Bella: I know who he is. I must not talk about that. Jacob: I'd rather get all the rebreaking done at once. (She carefully sits next to him on the bed.) Bella: I'm sorry, Jake. But it's like... Sam imprinting on Emily. I never had a choice with Edward. Jacob: That's crap. You're not a wolf, remember? Bella: Still. It's what it is. Jacob: At least I know I did everything I could. Wasn't easy making you admit your feelings for me. Bella: I only fought them, because I know they wouldn't change anything. Jacob: I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would be as easy as breathing with me. Bella: You know I love you. Jacob: You know how much I wish it was enough. (A long b*at. Finally, she rises.) Bella: Should I come back? Jacob: I need some time. But I'll always be waiting. Bella: Until my heart stops beating. Jacob: Maybe even then. (She returns the smile. There's a sadness between them, but also... a resignation. A rapprochement. Off Bella grateful for this tiny opening he's left her...) [ EXT. MEADOW – MAGIC HOUR ] (The grass is a welcoming, rich green. The wild flowers are in bloom. The light is low. Luminescent. Edward and Bella lie in the grass, her head on his chest.) Edward: August thirteenth? Bella: Yeah. it's a month before my birthday. I don't need to be another year older than you. Alice said she can get the wedding together by then. Edward: I'm sure she can. There's no rush. Bella: I've chosen my life. I want to start living it. Edward: And so, you're gonna let Alice plan the whole thing? Yeah. Dress, the reception, the guest list... I mean, who knows who she's gonna invite? Bella: Does it matter? (Edward sits up, looks her in the eyes.) Edward: I just don't know why you're doing this. Bella: What? The wedding? Edward: You're trying to make everyone else happy. But you're already giving away too much. Bella: You're wrong. (She rises as well, going to him, clarity washing over her.) Bella: This wasn't a choice between you and Jacob. It was between who I should be and who I am. (She circles him, insight energizing her as she speaks.) Bella: I've always felt out of step. Like literally, stumbling through my life. I'm never felt normal. Because I'm not normal. I don't wanna be. I've had to face death... ... and loss and pain, in your world. But, I've also never felt stronger... ... more real, more... my self. Because it's my world, too. It's where I belong. Edward: So, it's not just about me. Bella: No, sorry. (She wraps her arms around him, looks up at him.) Bella: I've made a mess trying to figure all this out, but... I wanna do it right. And I wanna tie my self to you, in every way humanly possible. Edward: Starting with a wedding. Bella: Actually... Something, a little more difficult first. And maybe even dangerous. We have to tell Charlie. Edward: It's highly dangerous. Bella: It's a good thing you're bulletproof. I'm gonna need that ring. (Edward smiles, pulls the black box from his pocket. He removes the ring. Takes her left hand in his...) (We slowly begin to pull up and back on the two on the two of them – silhoutted by the light which reflects off the flowers, giving the blossoms a warm, magical glow.) (It is against this beautiful, romantic backdrop that Edward slips the ring onto Bella's finger... where it will stay for eternity...) [ Fade to Black ]	{"type": "movie", "show": "Twilight Saga, The: Eclipse", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
The Godfather (1972) The Godfather: I believe in America. Bonasera: America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom, but I taught her never to dishonour her family. She found a boyfriend, not an Italian. She went to the movies with him. She stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago he took her for a drive with another boyfriend. They made her drink whiskey... ...and then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted, she kept her honour. So they bat her like an animal. When I went to the hospital, her nose was broken... ...her jaw was shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life. Beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again. Sorry. I went to the police, like a good American. These two boys were brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison, but suspended the sentence. Suspended the sentence! They went free that very day! I stood in the courtroom like a fool. Those two bastards, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, "For justice, we must go to Don Corleone." Don Corleone: Why did you go to the police? Why didn't you come to me first? Bonasera: What do you want of me? Tell me anything, but do what I beg you to do. Don Corleone: What is that? Bonasera: I want them dad. Don Corleone: That I cannot do. Bonasera: I'll give you anything you ask. Don Corleone: I've known you many years, but this is the first time you've asked for help. I can't remember the last time you invited me for a cup of coffee. Even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here. You never wanted my friendship. And you were afraid to be in my debt. Bonasera: I didn't want to get into trouble. Don Corleone: I understand. You found Paradise in America. You made a good living, had police protection and there were courts of law. You didn't need a friend like me. But now you come to me and say... "Don Corleone, give me justice. " But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. You come on my daughter's wedding day and ask me to mrder for money. Bonasera: I ask you for justice. Don Corleone: That is not justice. Your daughter is alive. Bonasera: Let them suffer, then, as she suffers. How much shall I pay you? Don Corleone: Bonasera, Bonasera. What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come in friendship... ...the scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if an honest man like you should make enemies, they'd be my enemies. And then they would fear you. Bonasera: Be my friend? Godfather? Don Corleone: Good. Some day, and that day may never come, I'll ask a service of you. But until that day... ...accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day. Bonasera: Grazie, Godfather. - Prego. Give this to Clemenza. I want people that aren't going to get carried away. We're not mrder, in spite of what this undertaker says. Don Corleone: Where's Michael? Sonny: Don't worry, he'll be here. Don Corleone: We're not taking the picture without Michael. - What's the matter? - It's Michael. Don Barzini. Hey, Paulie! Let me have some wine. Clemenza: Paulie! More wine. Paulie: You look terrific on the floor. Clemenza: Are you a dance judge or something? Take a walk and do your job. Sonny: Sandra, watch the kids. Don't let them run wild. Sandra: You watch yourself, all right? Paulie: In that little silk purse. If this were somebody else's wedding... Sfortunato! Buttonman: Hey, Paulie! Paulie: Stupid jerk! Photographer: What's the matter? Tom: Have to go back to work. Theresa: Tom. Tom: No Sicilian can refuse any request on his daughter's wedding day. Luca: Don Corleone, I'm honoured and grateful that you have invited me. Sonny: Get out of here! It's a private party. Go on! What is it? It's my sister's wedding. gddmn FBl don't respect nothing! Come here, come here, come here! Nazorine: ...but towards the end, he was paroled to help with the American wr effort... ...so for six months he's worked in my pastry shop. Don Corleone: Nazorine, what can I do for you? Nazorine: Now that the wr is over......this boy, Enzo, they want to repatriate him back to Italy. Godfather, I have a daughter. You see, she and Enzo... Don Corleone: You want Enzo to stay in this country, and your daughter to be married. Nazorine: You understand everything. Mr Hagen. Thank you. Wait till you see the wedding cake I made for your daughter! The bride, the groom and the angel... Tom: Who should I give this job to? Don Corleone: Not to our paisan. Give it to a Jew Congressman in another district. Who else is on the list? Hey, Michael! Tom: He's not on the list, but Luca Brasi wants to see you. Don Corleone: Is this necessary? Tom: He didn't expect to be invited to the wedding, so he wanted to thank you. Luca Brasi: Don Corleone, I'm honoured and grateful that you have invited me... ...on the wedding day of your daughter. May their first child be a masculine child. Kay: Michael...That man over there is talking to himself. See that scary guy over there? Michael: He's a very scary guy. Kay: What's his name? Michael: His name is Luca Brasi. He helps my father out sometimes. Kay: Michael, he's coming over here! Tom: You look terrific! Michael: my brother Tom Hagen, Miss Kay Adams. Hagen: Your father's been asking for you. Tom: Very nice to meet you. Kay: Nice to meet you. Kay: Why does your brother have a different name? Michael: My brother Sonny found Tom Hagen in the street. He had no home, so my father took him in. He's been with us ever since. He's a good lawyer. Not a Sicilian. I think he's going to be consigliere. Kay: What's that? Michael: That's a......like a counselor, an advisor. Very important for the family. You like your lasagne? Lucus: Don Corleone. I'm honoured and grateful... ...that you have invited me to your daughter's wedding. On the day of your daughter's wedding. And I hope that their first child will be a masculine child. I pledge my ever-ending loyalty. For your daughter's bridal purse. Don Corleone: Thank you, Luca. Most valued friend. Luca: Don Corleone, I'm going to leave you now, because I know you're busy. Don Corleone: Thank you. Signora Corleone! Mama: No! Tom: Senator Cauley apologized for not coming, but said you'd understand. Also some of the judges. They've all sent gifts. Don Corleone: What is that outside? Connie: Johnny! Johnny! I love you! Vito: He came all the way from California. I told you he'd come! Tom: He's probably in trouble again. Vito: He's a good godson. Mama: Johnny, Johnny! Sing a song! Kay: You never said you knew Johnny Fontane! Michael: Sure. You want to meet him? Kay: Great! Sure. Michael: My father helped him with his career. Kay: He did? How? Michael: Let's listen to this song. Kay: Michael... Please, Michael. Tell me. Michael: When Johnny was starting out, he was signed to a personal service contract... ...with a big bandleader. And as his career got better and better, he wanted to get out of it. Johnny is my father's godson. My father went to see this bandleader. He offered him 10,000 dollars to let Johnny go... ...but the bandleader said no. So the next day my father went to see him, but this time with Luca Brasi. Within an hour... ...he signed a release for a certified cheque of 1,000 dollars. Kay: How did he do that? Michael: Made him an offer he couldn't refuse. Kay: What was that? Michael: Luca Brasi held a gn to his head......and father said that either his brains or his signature would be on the contract. That's a true story. That's my family, Kay. It's not me. Beautiful! Vito Coreone: I'll take care of it. Tom... I want you to find Santino. Tell him to come to the office. Michael: How are you, Fredo? My brother Fredo, this is Kay Adams. Kay: Hi. How are you doing? This is my brother Mike. Michael: Are you having a good time? Fredo: Yeah. This is your friend? Johnny: I don't know what to do. My voice is weak. It's weak. Anyway, if I had this part in the picture, it puts me right back on top again. But this... Man won't give it to me, the head of the studio. Vito Corleone: What's his name? Johnny: Woltz. He won't give it to me, and he says there's no chance. Tom: Sonny? Sonny? Sonny? Sonny, are you in there? Sonny: What? Tom: The old man wants you. Sonny: One minute. Johnny: A month ago he bought the movie rights to this book, a best-seller. The main character is a guy just like me. I wouldn't even have to act. Godfather, I don't know what to do. Vito Corleone: You can act like a man! What's the matter with you? Is this how you turned out a Hollywood finocchio, that cries like a woman? "What can I do? What can I do?" What is that nonsense? Ridiculous. You spend time with your family? Johnny: Sure I do. Vito Corleone: Good. Because a man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man. You look terrible. I want you to eat. Rest, and in a month this Hollywood big sht will give you what you want. Johnny: It's too late, they start sh*ting in a week. Vito Corleone: I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. Just go outside and enjoy yourself, and forget about all this nonsense. I want you to leave it all to me. Johnny: All right. Vito Corleone: What time does my daughter leave? Tom: Soon, after they cut the cake. Do we give your son-in-law something important? Vito Corleone: Never. Give him a living, but never discuss the family business with him. What else? Tom: Virgil Sollozzo called. Vito Corleone: We'll have to see him next week. When you come back from California. Tom: When am I going to California? Vito Corleone: Tonight. I want you to talk to this movie big sht and settle this business for Johnny. If there's nothing else, I'd like to go to my daughter's wedding. Mama: Carlo, we're going to take the picture. Michael: Wait a minute. Kay: No, Michael. Not me. Photographer: Okay, that's it. Just like that. Hold it! - You need a little more heat on that arc. Woltz: Start talking. Tom: I was sent by a friend of Johnny Fontane. This friend would give his friendship to Mr Woltz... ...if Mr Woltz would grant us a favour. Woltz: Woltz is listening. Tom: Give Johnny the part in that wr film you're starting next week. Woltz: And what favour would your friend grant Mr Woltz? Tom: He could make your future union problems disappear. And one of your stars has just moved from marijuana to heroin. Woltz: Are you trying to muscle me? Listen, you son-of-a-bitch! Let me lay it on the line. Johnny Fontane will never get that movie! No matter how many Dago Guinea greaseballs come out of the woodwork! Tom: I'm German-Irish. Woltz: Listen here, my Kraut-Mick friend. I'm going to make trouble for you! Tom: I'm a lawyer. I haven't thrat... Woltz: I know New York's big lawyers. Who are you? Tom:I have a special practice. I handle one client. I'll wait for your call. By the way, I admire your pictures very much. Woltz: Check him out. Tom: It's really beautiful. Woltz: Look at this. It used to decorate a king's palace. Tom: Very nice. Woltz: Why didn't you say you work for Corleone? I thought you were some cheap hustler Johnny was running in. Tom: I only use his name when necessary. Woltz: How's your drink? Tom: Fine. Woltz: Now I'll show you something beautiful. You do appreciate beauty, don't you? There you are. I bet Russian czars never paid that for a single horse. Khartoum. Khartoum. I'm not going to race him, though. I'm going to put him out to stud. Tony: He's beautiful. Woltz: Thanks, Tony. Let's get something to eat. Tom: Corleone is Johnny's godfather. To the Italian people that's a very sacred, close relationship. Woltz: I respect it. Tell him to ask me anything else. This favour I can't give him. Tom: He never asks a second favour when he's been refused the first. Woltz: You don't understand. Johnny Fontane never gets that movie. That part is perfect for him. It'll make him a big star. I'm going to run him out of the business, and let me tell you why. Johnny Fontane ruined one of Woltz International's most valuable protgs. We trained her for five years. Singing, acting, dancing lessons. I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on her, to make her a big star. Let me be even more frank. To show you that I'm not a hard-hearted man. That it's not all dollars and cents. She was beautiful. She was young and innocent! She's the greatest piece of ass I've had and I've had them all over the world. Then Johnny Fontane comes along with his olive oil voice and Guinea charm. And she runs off. She threw it all away just to make me look ridiculous! And a man in my position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous! You get the hell out of here! If that goombah tries any rough stuff, tell him I'm no bandleader. Yeah, I heard that story. Tom: Thank you for dinner and a very pleasant evening. Maybe your car can take me to the airport. Mr Corleone insists on hearing bad news immediately. Vito Corleone: You're not too tired, are you, Tom? Tom: No, I slept on the plane. I have the Sollozzo notes here. Now... Sollozzo is known as The Turk. He's supposed to be very good with a Knfe... ...but only in matters of business with reasonable complaint. His business is narcotics. He has fields in Turkey, where they grow poppy. In Sicily he has plants to process them into heroin. He needs cash, he needs protection from the police. He'll give a piece of the action. I don't know how much. The Tattaglia family is behind him here. They have to be in it for something. Vito Corleone: What about his prison record? Tom: One term in Italy, one here. He's known as a top narcotics man. Vito Corleone: Santino, what do you think? Sonny: A lot of money in that white powder. Vito Corleone: Tom? Tom: Yes. There's more money in narcotics than anything else. If we don't get into it, somebody else will, maybe the five families. With that money they can buy more police and political power. Then they come after us. Now we have unions and gambling, and that's great, but narcotics is the future. If we don't get a piece of that action, we risk everything in ten years' time. Sonny: So? What's your answer going to be, Pop? Sollozzo: Don Corleone. I need a man who has powerful friends. I need a million dollars in cash. I need those politicians that you carry in your pocket, like nickels and dimes. Vito Corleone: What is the interest for my family? Sollozzo: 30 per cent. In the first year your end should be three, four million dollars. And then it would go up. Vito Corleone: And what is the interest for the Tattaglia family? Sollozzo: My compliments. I'll take care of them, out of my share. Vito Corleone: So I receive 30 per cent for finance......political influence and legal protection? Sollozzo: That's right. Vito Corleone: Why do you come to me? Why do I deserve this generosity? Sollozzo:If you consider a million dollars in cash just finance... ...ti saluto, Don Corleone. Vito Corleone: I said that I would see you, because I heard you were a serious man... ...to be treated with respect. But, I must say no to you. And I'll give you my reason. It's true, I have a lot of friends in politics. They wouldn't be friendly long if I was involved in drugs instead of gambling... ...which they regard as a harmless vice, but drugs is a dirty business. Sollozzo: Don Corleone... Vito Corleone: It doesn't make any difference to me what a man does for a living. But your business is... a little dangerous. Sollozzo: If you're worried about security, the Tattaglias will guarantee it. Sonny: The Tattaglias would guarantee our... Vito Corleone: Wait a minute. I have a sentimental weakness for my children, and I spoil them. They talk when they should listen. But anyway... Signor Sollozzo, my no is final. I wish to congratulate you on your new business. I know you'll do well, and good luck. Especially since your interests don't conflict with mine. Thank you. Vito Corleone: Santino. Come here. What's the matter with you? Your brain is going soft from playing with that girl. Never tell anybody outside the family what you're thinking again. Go on. Tom, what's this nonsense? Tom: It's from Johnny. He's starring in that new film. Vito Corleone: Take it away. Tom: Take it over there. Vito Corleone: And... ...tell Luca Brasi to come in. I'm a little worried about this Sollozzo fellow. Find out what he's got under his fingernails. Go to the Tattaglias. Make them think that you're not too happy with our family... ...and find out what you can. Kay: I got something for your mother and for Sonny... ...and a tie for Freddy, and Tom Hagen got the Reynolds pen. Michael: What do you want for Christmas? Kay: Just you. Vito Corleone: Andiamo, Fredo. Tell Paulie to get the car. Fredo: Okay, Pop. I'll have to get it myself. Paulie called in sick this morning. Paulie's a good kid. I don't mind getting the car. Vito Corleone: Buon Natale, caro. Grazie. Bruno Tattaglia: Luca! I'm Bruno Tattaglia. Luca: I know. Sollozzo: You know who I am? Luca: I know you. Sollozzo: You have been talking to the Tattaglia family... Right? I think you and I can do business. I need someone strong like you. I heard you are not happy... ...with the Corleone family. Want to join me? Luca: What's in it for me? Sollozzo: $50,000 to start with. Luca: Not bad! Sollozzo: Agreed? Tom! Tom Hagen. Merry Christmas. Glad to see you. I want to talk to you. Tom: I haven't got time. Sollozzo: Make time, Consigliere. Get in the car. What are you worried about? If I wanted to kll you, you'd be dad already. Get in. Vito Corleone: Fredo, I'm going to buy some fruit. Fredo: Okay, Pop. Vito Corleone: Merry Christmas. I want some fruit. Kay: Would you like me better if I were a nun? Like in the story. Michael: No. Kay: What if I were Ingrid Bergman? Michael: Now, that's a thought. Kay: Michael. Michael: No, I wouldn't like you better if you were Ingrid Bergman. Kay: What's the matter? Michael: They don't say if he's dad or alive. Sonny, it's Michael. Sonny: Where have you been? Michael: Is he all right? Sonny: We don't know yet. There are all kinds of stories. He was ht bad, Mikey. Are you there? Michael: Yeah, I'm here. Sonny: Where have you been? I was worried. Michael: Didn't Tom tell you I called? Sonny: No. Look, come home, kid. You should be with Mama, you hear? Sandra: Oh, my God. Sonny! Sonny: Stay back there. Who is it? Clemenza: Open up, it's Clemenza. There's more news about your old man. Word is out that he's already dad. Sonny: What's the matter with you? Clemenza: Take it easy! Sonny: Where was Paulie? Clemenza: Sick. He's been sick all winter. Sonny: How often? Clemenza: Only three, four times. Freddy didn't want a new bodyguard. Sonny: Pick him up now. I don't care how sick he is. Bring him to my father's house right now. Clemenza: You want anyone sent over here? Sonny: No. Go ahead. I'm going to have a couple of our people come over to the house. Hello? Sollozzo: Santino Corleone? Sonny: Yeah. Sollozzo: We have Tom Hagen. In three hours he'll be released with our proposition. Listen to what he has to say before you do anything. What's done is done. Don't lose that famous temper of yours, Sonny. Sonny: I'll wait. Sollozzo: Your boss is dad. I know you're not in the muscle end of the family, so don't be scared. I want you to help the Corleones and me. We got him outside his office about an hour after we picked you up. Drink it. It's up to you to make peace between me and Sonny. Sonny was hot for my deal, wasn't he? And you knew it was the right thing to do. Tom: Sonny will come after you. Sollozzo: That will be his first reaction, sure. So you have to talk sense into him. The Tattaglia family is behind me. The other New York families will go along with anything to prevent wr. Let's face it, with all due respect, the Don - Rest in peace - was slipping. Ten years ago, could I have gotten to him? Well, now he's dad, Tom, and nothing can bring him back. You've got to talk to Sonny, to the Caporegimes, Tessio, fat Clemenza. It's good business, Tom. Tom: I'll try. But even Sonny won't be able to call off Luca Brasi. Sollozzo: Yeah, well...Let me worry about Luca. You just talk to Sonny. And the other two kids. Tom: I'll do my best. Sollozzo: Good. Now you can go. I don't like volence, Tom. I'm a businessman. Blood is a big expense. He's still alive. They ht him with five shts, and he's still alive! That's bad luck for me, and bad luck for you if you don't make that deal. Clemenza: Your mother is at the hospital with your father. Looks like he'll pull through. It's a lot of bad blood. Sollozzo, Philip Tattaglia, Bruno Tattaglia, Ramon... Michael: You gonna kll all those guys? Sonny: Stay out of it. Tom:If you get rid of Sollozzo, everything falls into line. What about Luca? Sollozzo thinks he can control him. Sonny: If Luca sold out, we're in a lot of trouble. Tom: Has anyone been in touch with Luca? Clemenza: We've been trying all night. Sonny: Hey, do me a favour... Tom: Luca never sleeps over with a broad. Sonny: Well, Tom, you're consigliere. What do we do if the old man dies? Tom: If we lose the old man, we lose the political contacts and half our strength. The other New York families might support Sollozzo to avoid a long wr. This is almost 1946. Nobody wants bloodshed anymore. If your father dies... ...you make the deal. Sonny: Easy to say. He's not your father. Tom: I'm as much a son as you or Mike. What is it? Sonny: Paulie, I told you to stay put. Paulie: The guy at the gates has a package. Sonny: Tessio, go see what it is. Paulie: Shall I stay? Sonny: Yeah. Are you all right? Paulie: I'm fine. Sonny: There's food. Are you hungry? Paulie: No. Sonny: A drink? Brandy will sweat it out. Paulie: Go ahead. That might be a good idea. Sonny: Take care of that son-of-a-bitch. Paulie sold out the old man. Make that the first thing on your list. Clemenza: Understood. Sonny: Mickey, tomorrow, get some guys and go to Luca's apartment. Tom: Maybe we shouldn't get Mike mixed up in this too directly. Sonny: Hanging around the house on the phone would be a big help. Try Luca again. What's this? Clemenza: A Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes. I'm going. Mrs. Clemenza: When will you be home? Clemenza: Probably late. Mrs. Clemenza: Don't forget the cannoli! Clemenza: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Paulie: Rocco, sit on the other side. You block the rear-view mirror. Clemenza: Sonny's running wild. He wants to go to mattresses already. We have to find a spot on the West Side. Try 309 West 43rd Street. Know a good spot on the West Side? Paulie: I'll think about it. Clemenza: Think while you're driving. I want to ht New York this month. Watch the kids. Paulie, go down 39th Street, pick up 18 Paulie: Yeah, all right. Clemenza: Make sure they're clean, because the guys will be there a long time. Paulie: They're clean and exterminated. Clemenza: That's a bad word to use. Exterminate! Watch out, so we don't exterminate you! Pull over. I've got to take a leak. Leave the gn. Take the cannoli. Hey, Mike! Hey, Mikey! Michael: Yeah. Clemenza: Phone call! Michael: Who is it? Clemenza: Some girl. Michael: Hello. Kay? Kay: How's your father? Michael: He's going to make it. Kay: I love you. I love you! Michael? Michael: Yeah, I know. Kay: Tell me you love me. Michael: I can't talk. Kay: Can't you say it? Michael: I'll see you tonight. Clemenza: Why don't you tell that nice girl you love her? I love you with all my heart. If I don't see you again soon, I'm going to die! Come and learn something. You might have to cook for 20 guys some day. You start with a little oil, then fry some garlic. Throw in some tomatoes, tomato paste, fry it and make sure it doesn't stick. You get it to a boil, you shove in all your sausage and meatballs. Add a little bit of wine. And a little bit of sugar. That's my trick. Sonny: Cut the crap. I have more important things for you. How's Paulie? Clemenza: You won't see him anymore. Sonny: Where are you going? Michael: To the city. Sonny: Send bodyguards with him. Michael: I'm going to the hospital... Clemenza: He'll be all right. Sollozzo knows he's a civilian. Sonny: Be careful. Michael: Yes, sir. Sonny: Send somebody with him anyway. Michael: I have to go. Kay: Can I go with you? Michael: No, Kay. There will be detectives there, people from the press. Kay: I'll wait in the cab. Michael: I don't want you to get involved. Kay: When will I see you again? Michael: Go back to New Hampshire, and I'll call you at your parents' house. Kay: When will I see you again, Michael? Michael: I don't know. Nurse: What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here. Michael: I'm Michael Corleone. This is my father. what happened to the guards? Nurse: Your father had too many visitors. They interfered with hospital service. The police made them leave about ten minutes ago. Michael: Get me Long Beach 45620, please. Nurse. Wait a minute. Stay here. Sonny, I'm at the hospital. I got here late, there's nobody here. No Tessio's men, no detectives, nobody. Papa's all alone. Sonny: Don't panic. Michael: I won't panic. Nurse: I'm sorry, but you will have to leave. Michael: We're going to move him to another room. Can you disconnect the tubes? Nurse: That's out of the question! Michael: Do you know my father? Men are coming here to kll him. Do you understand? Help me, please. Who are you? Enzo: I am Enzo, the baker. Remember me? Michael: Enzo. You'd better go, there's going to be trouble. Enzo: If there is trouble, I'll stay here to help you. For your father. Michael: Listen. Wait for me outside, in front of the hospital, all right? I'll be out in a minute. Just lie here, Pop. I'll take care of you now. I'm with you now. I'm with you. Get rid of these. Come here. Put your hand in your pocket, like you have a gn. You'll be all right. You did good. Captain McClusky: I thought all you Guinea hoods were locked up! Michael: Why isn't anyone guarding my father? McCluskey: You little punk! Don't you tell me my business! I pulled them off. Stay away from this hospital! Michael: Not until my father's room is guarded. McCluskey: Phil, take him in! Officer Phil: The kid's clean, Captain. He's a wr hero. He's never been... McCluskey: I said take him in! Michael: What's The Turk paying you? McCluskey: Take a hold of him. Stand him up. Stand him up straight. Tom: I'm the Corleone's attorney. These men are hired to protect Vito Corleone. They're licensed to carry firearms. If you interfere, you'll have to appear before the judge and show cause. McCluskey: Let him go. Clemenza: What's with all the new faces? Tessio: We'll need them now. After the hospital thing, Sonny got mad. We ht Bruno Tattaglia this morning. Clemenza: Jesus Christ. Looks like a fortress around here. Sonny: Tommasuccio! Hey... 100 buttonmen on the street 24 hours a day. That Turk shows one hair on his ass, he's dad. Sonny: Mike, let me look at you. You're beautiful, beautiful. You're gorgeous. The Turk wants to talk! Imagine the nerve of the son-of-a-bitch. He wants a meeting today. Tom: What did he say? Sonny: What did he say... He wants us to send Michael to hear the proposition. He promises that the deal is too good to refuse. Tom: And Bruno Tattaglia? Sonny: That's part of the deal. He cancels out what they did to Father. Tom: We should listen to them. Sonny: No more! Not this time, Consigliere. No more meetings, discussions, or Sollozzo tricks. I want Sollozzo, or we go to wr... Tom: The other families... Sonny: They hand me Sollozzo! Tom: This is business, not personal! Sonny: They sht my father... Tom: Even that was business, not personal. Sonny: Then business will have to suffer. Do me a favour. No more advice on how to patch things up. Just help me win. Tom: I found out about Captain McCluskey, who broke Mike's jaw. He's definitely on Sollozzo's payroll, and for big money. McCluskey has agreed to be The Turk's bodyguard. So when Sollozzo is being guarded, he's invulnerable. Nobody has ever gn down a New York police captain. All the families would come after you. The Corleone family would be outcasts! Even the old man's political protection would run for cover. Do me a favour. Take this into consideration. Sonny: All right, we'll wait. Michael: We can't wait. We can't wait. no matter what Sollozzo says, he's going to kll Pop. That's the key for him. We've got to get Sollozzo. Clemenza: Mike is right. Sonny: Let me ask you something. What about this McCluskey? What do we do with this cop? Michael: They want to have a meeting with me, right? It will be me, McCluskey and Sollozzo. Let's set the meeting. Get our informers to find out where it's going to be held. We insist it's a public place. A bar, a restaurant. Some place where there are people, so I feel safe. They'll search me when I meet them, right? So I can't have a wapon on me. But if Clemenza can figure out a way to have a wapon planted there for me... ...then I'll kll them both. Sonny: Nice college boy. Didn't want to get mixed up in the family business. Now you want to sh*t a police captain because he slapped you? This isn't like the army! You have to get close and get their brains on your suit. You're taking this very personal. Tom, this is business and he's taking it personal. Michael: Where does it say you can't kll a cop? Hagen: Mikey... Tom: I'm talking about a cop who's mixed up in drugs, a dishonest cop. A cop who got mixed up in the rackets and got what was coming. That's a terrific story. We have newspaper people on the payroll, right? They might like a story like that. Hagen: They might. Michael: It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business. Clemenza: It's as cold as they come. Impossible to trace, so you don't worry about prints. I put a special tape on the trigger and the butt. Try it. Is the trigger too tight? Michael: My ears! Clemenza: I left it noisy, so it scares away any pain-in-the-ass innocent bystanders. You've sht them both. Now what do you do? Michael: Sit down, finish my dinner. Clemenza: Don't fool around. Let your hand drop to your side and let the gn slip out. Everybody will still think you've got it. They'll stare at your face... ...so walk out fast, but don't run. Don't look anybody in the eye, but don't look away either. They'll be scared stiff, so don't worry about nothing. You'll be all right. You'll take a vacation, nobody knows where......and we'll catch the hell. Michael: How bad do you think it will be? Clemenza: Pretty gddmn bad. All the other families will probably line up against us. These things have to happen every five, ten years. Gets rid of the bad blood. Been ten years since the last one. You have to stop them at the beginning. Like they should have stopped htler in Munich, not letting him get away with it. You know, Mike, we were all proud of you. Being a hero and all. Your father too. Tom: Nothing. Not a hint. Absolutely nothing. Even Sollozzo's people don't know where the meeting will be held. Michael: How much time do we have? Sonny: They're going to pick you up outside Jack Dempsey's in an hour and a half. Clemenza: We could put a tail on them. Sonny: Sollozzo would lose our ass. Tom: What about the negotiator? Clemenza: He's playing pinochle with my men. He's happy. They're letting him win. Tom: Too risky. Maybe we should call it off. Clemenza: The negotiator plays cards until Mike is back safe. He could blast whoever is in the car. They'll expect that. Tom: Sollozzo might not even be in the car, Sonny! Sonny: I'll get it. Louis' restaurant in the Bronx. Tom: Is it reliable? Sonny: My man in McCluskey's precinct. A police captain is on call 24 hours a day. He'll be there between 8 and 10. Anybody know this joint? Tessio: Sure, I do. It's perfect for us. A small family place, good food. Everyone minds his business. Perfect. They've got an old-fashioned toilet. You know, the box and the chain thing. We might be able to tape the gn behind it. Clemenza: All right. Mike, you go to the restaurant......you eat, talk for a while, you relax.Make them relax.Then you go to take a leak. No, better still, you ask permission to go.Then you come back blasting. Two shts in the head apiece. Sonny: I want somebody very good to plant that gn. I don't want him coming out with just his dick. Clemenza: The gn will be there. Sonny: You drive him and pick him up. Clemenza: Let's move. Sonny: Did he tell you to drop the gn right away? Michael: Yeah, a million times. Clemenza: Don't forget. Two shts apiece in the head as soon as you come out. Michael: How long do you think it will be before I can come back? Sonny: At least a year. I'll square it with Mom, that you're not seeing her before you leave and... I'll get a message to that girlfriend when the time is right. Take care. Tom: Take care, Mike. Sollozzo: I'm glad you came. I hope we can straighten everything out. It's not the way I wanted things to go. It should never have happened. Michael: I want to straighten everything out. I don't want my father bothered again. Sollozzo: I swear on my children that he won't be, Mike. But you have to keep an open mind when we talk. I hope you're not a hothead like Sonny. You can't talk business with him. McCluskey: He's a good kid. I'm sorry about the other night, Mike. I've got to frisk you, so turn around. On your knees, facing me. I guess I'm getting too old for my job. Too grouchy. Can't stand the aggravation. You know how it is. He's clean. Michael: Going to Jersey? Sollozzo: Maybe. Sollozzo: Nice work, Lou. McCluskey: How's the food in this restaurant? Sollozzo: Try the veal. It's the best in the city. McCluskey: I'll have it. Sollozzo: I'm going to speak Italian to Mikey. McCluskey: Go ahead. Michael: What I want... What's most important to me... ...is that I have a guarantee. No more attempts on my father's life. Sollozzo: What guarantees can I give you? I'm the hunted one! I missed my chance. You think too much of me, kid. I'm not that clever. All I want is a truce. Michael: I have to go to the bathroom. Is it all right? McCluskey: When you got to go, you got to go. He's clean. Sollozzo: Don't take too long. I've frisked a thousand punks. Orderly: Okay, you take over. Sonny's Twin Daughter: I love you, Grandpa. Sandra: I'm sorry, Pa. He doesn't know you yet. Sonny: Hey, big guy. Give it to Grandpa. Frank: Okay. "I hope you get well, Grandpa, and wish I see you soon. Your grandson Frank. " Sonny: Go with your mother. Take them downstairs. Go on, Carlo, you too. Go on. Connie: What's the matter with you, Carlo? Carlo: Shut up and set the table. Tom: Since McCluskey's klling, the police have cracked down on our operations. And also the other families. There's been a lot of bad blood. Sonny: They ht us, so we ht them back. Tom: Through our newspaper contacts we've been able to put out material... ...about McCluskey's link with Sollozzo in the drug rackets. So things are loosening up. Sonny: And I sent Fredo to Las Vegas, under the protection of Don Francesco of L.A. I want him to rest. Fredo: I'm going to learn the casino business. Vito Corleone: Where's Michael? Tom: It was Michael who klled Sollozzo. But he's safe. We're starting to work to bring him back. Sonny: Did you find out where that old pimp Tattaglia is hiding? I want him now. Tom: Sonny, things are starting to loosen up. If you go after Tattaglia, all hell will break loose. Pop can negotiate. Sonny: He must get better first. I'll decide... Tom: wr is costly. We can't do business. Sonny: Neither can they. Don't worry about it! Tom: We can't afford a stalemate. Sonny: No more stalemate. I'll kll the bastard! Tom: You're getting a great reputation! Sonny: Do as I say! If I had a Sicilian wartime consigliere, I wouldn't be in this shape! Pop had Genco. Look what I got. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Ma made a little dinner. It's Sunday. nggrs are having a good time with our policy banks in Harlem. Driving new Cadillacs, paying 50 per cent on a bet. Carlo: That's because they've started making big money. Connie: Poppa never talked business at the table. Carlo: Shut up, Connie... Sonny: Don't you ever tell her to shut up. Mama: Don't interfere. Carlo: I'd like to talk to you after dinner. I could do more for the family... Sonny: We don't discuss business at the table. Fabrizio: I kiss your hand, Don Tommasino. Tommasino: Why are you so far from the house? You know I'm responsible to your father for your life. The bodyguards are here. Tommasino: It's still dangerous... We've heard from Santino in New York... Your enemies know you're here. Michael: Did Santino say when I can go back? Tommasino: Not yet. It's out of the question. Where are you going now? Take my car. Michael: I want to walk. Tommasino: Be careful. Michael: Where have all the men gone? Calo: They're all dad from vendettas. There are the names of the dad. Fabrizio: Hey, hey, take me to the America, G.I.! Hey, hey, take me to the America, G.I.! Clark Gable! America! Take me to the America, G.I.! Clark Gable, Rita Hayworth! Mamma mia what a beauty. I think you got ht by the thunderbolt. Calo: In Sicily women are more dangerous than gn. Vitelli: Did you have a good hunt? Fabrizio: You know all the girls around here? We saw some real beauties. One of them struck our friend like a thunderbolt. She would tempt the devil himself. Really put together. Such hair, such mouth! Vitelli: The girls around here are beautiful... But virtuous. Fabrizio: This one had a purple dress... And a purple ribbon in her hair. A type more Greek than Italian. Do you know her? Vitelli: There's no girl like that in this town. Fabrizio: My God, I understand! Michael: What's wrong? Fabrizio: Let's go. It's his daughter. Michael: Tell him to come here. Call him. Fabrizio, you translate. I apologise if I offended you. I'm a stranger in this country. I meant no disrespect to you or your daughter. I'm an American, hiding in Sicily. My name is Michael Corleone. There are people who'd pay a lot of money for that information. But then your daughter would lose a father... ...instead of gaining a husband. I want to meet your daughter. With your permission, and under the supervision of your family. With all respect. Vitelli: Come to my house Sunday morning. My name is Vitelli. Michael: What's her name? Vitelli: Apollonia. Sonny: I'll knock you dizzy. Save it for the library. We've got to pick up my sister. What's the matter? What's the matter? Connie: It was my fault! Sonny: Where is he? Connie: It was my fault. I ht him. I started a fight with him. I ht him, so he ht me... Sonny: I'm just going to get a doctor to take a look at you. Connie: Sonny, please don't do anything. Sonny: What's the matter with you? What am I going to do? Make that baby an orphan before he's born? You spic slobs still betting Yankees? Tell them to stop taking in action. We lost enough money last week. Come here, come here! If you touch my sister again, I'll kll you. Tom: Hey! We weren't expecting you, Kay. You should call. Kay: Yes, I have. I've tried writing and calling. I want to reach Michael. Tom: Nobody knows where he is. All we know is that he's all right. Kay: What was that? Tom: An accident, but nobody was hurt. Kay: Tom, will you give this letter to Michael. Please? Tom: If I accepted that, a court could prove I have knowledge of his whereabouts. He'll get in touch with you. Kay: I let my cab go, so can I call another one, please? Tom: Come on. Sorry. Connie: Hello? Woman's Voice: Is Carlo there? Connie: Who is this? Woman's Voice: A friend of Carlo. Tell him that I can't make it tonight until later. Connie: Bitch! Dinner's on the table. Carlo: I'm not hungry. Connie: The food is getting cold. Carlo: I'll eat out later. Connie: You just told me to make you dinner! Carlo: She has a filthy mouth, this Guinea brat. That's it, break it all, you spoiled Guinea brat. Break it all! Connnie: Why don't you bring your whore home for dinner? Carlo: Maybe I will. Clean it up! Connie: Like hell I will! Carlo: You skinny, spoiled brat. Clean it up! Clean it up! Clean it up! I said, clean it up! Clean it up! Clean it up. Clean that up, you... Clean it! Clean it up! Yeah, kll me. Be a mrder, like your father! All you Corleones are mrder! Connie: I hate you! Carlo: Come on, kll me! Get out of here! Conni: I hate you! Carlo: Now I'll kll you. You Guinea brat. Get out of here! Mama: Connie, what's the matter? I can't hear you. Connie, talk louder. The baby's crying. Santino, I can't understand. I don't know. Sonny: Yeah, Connie. You wait there. No, you just wait there. Son-of-a-bitch. Son-of-a-bitch! Mama: What's the matter? Sonny: Open the gddmn gate! Get off your ass. Tom: Sonny! Sonny. Sonny: Get out of here! Tom: Go after him, go on! Sonny: Son-of-a-bitch. Come on! Vito Corleone: Give me a drop. My wife is crying upstairs. I hear cars coming to the house. Consigliere of mine... ...tell your Don what everyone seems to know. Tom: I didn't tell Mama anything. I was about to come up and wake you and tell you. Vito Corleone: But you needed a drink first. Tom: Yeah. Vito Corleone: Well, now you've had your drink. Tom: They sht Sonny on the causeway. He's dad. Vito Corleone: I want no inquiries made. I want no acts of vengeance. I want you to arrange a meeting... ...with the heads of the five families. This wr stops now. Call Bonasera. I need him now. Tom: This is Tom Hagen. I'm calling for Vito Corleone, at his request. You owe your Don a service. He has no doubt that you will repay it. He will be at your funeral parlour in one hour. Be there to greet him. Vito Corleone: Well, my friend, are you ready to do me this service? Bonasera: Yes. What do you want me to do? Vito Corleone: I want you to use all your powers and all your skills. I don't want his mother to see him this way. Look how they massacred my boy. Michael: It's safer to teach you English! Apollonia: I know English... Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday, Saturday. Michael: Greetings, Don Tommasino. How are things in Palermo? Apollonia: Michael is teaching me to drive... watch, I'll show you. Michael: How are things in Palermo? Tommasino: Young people don't respect anything any more... ...times are changing for the worse. This place has become too dangerous for you. I want you to move to a villa near Siracusa... Right now. Michael: What's wrong? Tommasino: Bad news from America. Your brother, Santino, they klled him. Apollonia: Let's go... You promised. Get the car. Fabrizio: Are you driving yourself, Boss? Is your wife coming with you? Michael: No, take her to her father's house until things are safe. Fabrizio: Okay, anything you say. Michael: Calo, where is Apollonia? Calo: She's going to surprise you. She wants to drive. She'll make a good American wife. Wait, I'll get the baggage. Michael: Fabrizio! Where are you going? Apollonia: Wait there! I'll drive to you. Michael: No, Apollonia! Vito Coreleone: Don Barzini, I want to thank you for helping me organise this meeting... ...and the other heads of the five families from New York and New Jersey. Carmine Cuneo from the Bronx... ...and from Brooklyn... ...Philip Tattaglia. And from Staten Island... ...we have with us Victor Strachi. And the other associates that came as far as from California and Kansas City... ...and all the other territories of the country. Thank you. How did things ever get so far? I don't know. It was so unfortunate, so unnecessary. Tattaglia lost a son, and I lost a son. We're quits. And if Tattaglia agrees... ...then I'm willing to let things go on as before. Barzini: We're grateful to Don Corleone for calling this meeting. We all know him as a man of his word. A modest man who listens to reason. Tattaglia: Yes, Don Barzini. He's too modest. He had all the judges and politicians in his pocket. He refused to share them. Vito Corleone: When did I ever refuse an accommodation? All of you know me. When did I ever refuse, except one time? And why? Because I believe this drug business will destroy us in the years to come. It's not like gambling or liquor or even women... ...which is something that most people want, but is forbidden by the Church. Even the police that have helped us in the past with gambling and other things... ...are going to refuse to help us when it comes to narcotics. I believed that then... and I believe that now. Barzini: Times have changed. It's not like the old days, when we could do anything we wanted. A refusal is not the act of a friend. If Don Corleone had all the judges and politicians, then he must share them... ...or let others use them. He must let us draw the water from the well. Certainly he can present a bill for such services. After all, we're not communists. Zaluchi: I also don't believe in drugs. For years I paid my people extra, so they wouldn't do that kind of business. Somebody says to them "I have powders. " "If you put up 3-4,000 dollar investment, we can make 50,000 distributing. " They can't resist. I want to control it as a business, keep it respectable. I don't want it near schools, I don't want it sold to children. That's an infmia. In my city we would keep the traffic to the coloured. They're animals, so let them lose their souls. Vito Corleone: I hoped that we could come here and reason together. And I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to find a peaceful solution. Barzini: We are agreed. The traffic in drugs will be permitted, but controlled. Don Corleone will give us protection in the east, and there will be peace. Tattaglia: I must have strict assurance from Corleone. As time goes by and his position becomes stronger... ...will he attempt any individual vendetta? Barzini: We are all reasonable men. We don't have to give assurances. Vito Corleone: You talk about vengeance. Will vengeance bring your son back to you? Or my boy to me? I forgo the vengeance of my son. But I have selfish reasons. My youngest son was forced to leave this country... ...because of this Sollozzo business. And I have to make arrangements to bring him back here safely. Cleared of all these false charges. But I'm a superstitious man. If an unlucky accident should befall him, if he should be sht by a police officer... ...or if he should hang himself in his jail cell... ...or if he's struck by a bolt of lightning... ...then I'm going to blame some of the people in this room. And that I do not forgive. But, that aside... ...let me say that I swear... ...on the souls of my grandchildren... ...that I will not be the one to break the peace we've made here today. Tom: Should I insist that all of Tattaglia's drug middlemen have clean records? Vito Corleone: Mention it. Don't insist. Barzini will know without being told. Tom: You mean Tattaglia. Vito Corleone: Tattaglia's a pimp. He could never have outfought Santino. But I didn't know until this day that it was Barzini all along. Kay: Come on, Nancy. Keep together, everyone. Brian. Okay, all right. How long have you been back? Michael: I've been back a year. Longer than that, I think. It's good to see you, Kay. I'm working for my father now, Kay. He's been sick. Very sick. Kay: But you're not like him. You told me you weren't going to become like your father. Michael: My father is no different than any other powerful man. Any man who's responsible for other people. Like a senator or president. Kay: How naive you sound. Michael: Why? Kay: They don't have men klled. Michael: Who's being naive, Kay? My father's way of doing things is over. Even he knows that. In five years the Corleone family is going to be completely legitimate. Trust me. That's all I can tell you about my business. Kay... Kay: Michael, why did you come here? Why? What do you want with me after all this time? I've been calling and writing. Michael: I came because I need you. I care for you. Kay: Please stop it, Michael. Michael: Because... I want you to marry me. Kay: It's too late. Michael: Please, Kay... I'll do anything you ask to make up for what's happened to us. Because that's important, Kay. Because what's important is that... ...we have each other. That we have a life together. That we have children. Our children. Kay, I need you. And I love you. Tessio: Barzini's people chisel my territory and we do nothing about it! Soon I'll have no place to hang my hat! Michael: Be patient. Tessio: I'm not asking for help. Just take off the handcuffs. Michael: Be patient. Clemenza: We must protect ourselves. Let me recruit some new men. Michael: No. Barzini would get an excuse to fight. Tessio: Mike, you're wrong. Clemenza: Don Corleone... You once said that one day Tessio and me could form our own family. Till today I would never think of it. I must ask your permission. Vito Corleone: Michael is now head of the family. If he gives his permission, then you have my blessing. Michael: After we make the move to Nevada... ...you can leave the Corleone family and go on your own. Clemenza: How long will that be? Michael: Six months. Tessio: Forgive me, but with you gone, me and Pete will come under Barzini's thumb. I hate that Barzini. In six months' time there will be nothing left to build on. Vito Corleone: Do you have faith in my judgement? Clemenza: Yes. Vito Corleone: Do I have your loyalty? Clemenza: Always, Godfather. Vito Corleone: Then be a friend to Michael. Do as he says. Michael: Things are negotiated that'll solve your problems and answer your questions. That's all I can tell you now. Carlo, you grew up in Nevada. When we make our move there, you'll be my right-hand man. Tom Hagen is no longer consigliere. He'll be our lawyer in Vegas. That's no reflection on Tom, just how I want it. If I ever need help, who's a better consigliere than my father? That's it. Carlo: Thank you, Poppa. Vito Corleone: I'm happy for you, Carlo. Tom: Mike... Why am I out? Michael: You're not a wartime consigliere, Tom. Things may get rough with the move. Vito Corleone: Tom. I advised Michael. I never thought you were a bad consigliere. I thought Santino was a bad Don, rest in peace. Michael has all my confidence, just as you do. But there are reasons why you must have no part in what is going to happen. Tom: Maybe I could help. Michael: You're out, Tom. Fredo: I can't get over the way your face looks. So good! This doctor did some job. Did Kay talk you into it? Hey, hey, hey! Leave them out here. He's tired and wants to clean up. Let me open the door, all right? Johnny: Hello, Mike! Welcome to Las Vegas! Fredo: All for you, kid! It's all his idea. Johnny: Your brother Freddy. Girls? Fredo: I'll be right back. Keep them occupied. Anything you want, kid, anything. Michael: Who are the girls? Fredo: That's for you to find out. Michael: Get rid of them, Fredo. Fredo: Hey, Mike... Michael: I'm here on business. Get rid of them. I'm tired. Get rid of the band too. Fredo: Hey, take off. Take off. Let's go. Hey, that's it. Hey, Angelo. Hey, come on! Scram! Come on, honey. I don't know what's the matter with him, Johnny. Sorry. I don't know. He's tired. Michael: What happened to Moe Greene? Fredo: He had some business. He said to give him a call when the party started. Michael: Well, give him a call. Johnny, how are you? Johnny: Nice to see you, Mike. Michael: We're proud of you. Johnny: Thanks. Michael: Sit down, I want to talk to you. The Don is proud too. Johnny: Well, I owe it all to him. Michael: He knows how grateful you are. That's why he'd like to ask a favour of you. Johnny: Mike, what can I do? Michael: We're thinking of giving up our interests in the olive oil business and settle here. Moe will sell us his share of the casino and the hotel, so we'll own all of it. Tom! Fredo: Are you sure? Moe loves the business. He never said nothing about selling. Michael: I'll make him an offer he can't refuse. See, Johnny... We figure that entertainment would draw gamblers to the casino. We hope you'll sign a contract to appear five times a year. Perhaps convince some of your friends in the movies to do the same. We're counting on you. Johnny: Sure, Mike. I'll do anything for my godfather. Michael: Good. Moe Green: Hey, Mike! Hello, fellows. Everybody's here. Freddy, Tom. Good to see you. Michael: How are you, Moe? Moe: Have everything? Specially prepared food, the best dancers, and good credit. Draw chips for everybody, so they can play on the house. Michael: Is my credit good enough to buy you out? Moe: Buy me out? Michael: The casino, the hotel. The Corleone family wants to buy you out. Moe: The Corleone family wants to buy me out? No, I buy you out. Michael: Your casino loses money. We can do better. Moe: You think I'm skimming off the top? Michael: You're unlucky. Moe: You Guineas make me laugh. I took Freddy in when you had a bad time, and now you try to push me out! Michael: You did that because we bankrolled your casino... ...and the Molinari family guaranteed his safety. Let's talk business. Moe: Yes. First of all, you're all done. You don't have that kind of muscle anymore. The Godfather is sick. You're getting chased out of New York by the others. Do you think you can come to my hotel and take over? I talked to Barzini. I can make a deal with him and still keep my hotel! Michael: Is that why you slapped my brother around in public? Fredo: That was nothing, Mike. Moe didn't mean nothing by that. He flies off the handle sometimes, but we're good friends. Moe: I have a business to run. I've got to kick asses sometimes. We had an argument, so I had to straighten him out. Michael: You straightened my brother out? Moe: He was banging cocktail waitresses! Players couldn't get a drink. What's wrong with you? Michael: I leave for New York tomorrow. Think about a price. Moe: Son-of-a-bitch! I'm Moe Greene! I made my bones when you were out with cheerleaders. Fredo: Wait a minute, Moe. I have an idea. Tom, you're the consigliere. Talk to the Don... Tom: Just a minute. Don is semi-retired and Mike is in charge of the family business. If you have anything to say, say it to Michael. Fredo: Mike, you don't come to Las Vegas and talk to a man like Moe Greene like that! Michael: Fredo... You're my older brother, and I love you. But don't ever take sides with anyone against the family again. I have to see my father and his people, so have dinner without me. This weekend we'll go out. We'll go to the city, see a show and have dinner. Kay: Your sister wants to ask you something. Michael: Let her ask. Kay: She's afraid to. They want you to be godfather to their boy. Michael: We'll see. Kay: Will you? Michael: Let me think about it. Come on. Vito Corleone: Barzini will move against you first. He'll set up a meeting with someone you absolutely trust. Guaranteeing your safety. And at that meeting you'll be assassinated. I like to drink wine more than I used to. Anyway, I'm drinking more. Michael: It's good for you, Pop. Vito Corleone: I don't know. Are you happy with your wife and children? Michael: Very happy. Vito Corleone: That's good. I hope you don't mind the way I keep going over this Barzini business. Michael: No, not at all. Vito Corleone: It's an old habit. I spend my life trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless, but not men. How's your boy? Michael: He's good. Vito Corleone: He looks more like you every day. Michael: He's smarter than I am. He's three and can read the funny papers. Read the funny papers. Vito Corleone: I want you to arrange for a telephone man to check all in- And out-going calls. Michael: I did it already. I took care of that, Pop. Vito Corleone: That's right. I forgot. Michael: What's the matter? What's bothering you? I'll handle it. I told you I can handle it, so I'll handle it. Vito Corleone: I knew that Santino would have to go through all this. And Fredo... Fredo was, well... But I never wanted this for you. I worked my whole life. I don't apologise for taking care of my family. And I refused to be a fool... ...dancing on a string held by all those big shts. I don't apologise. That's my life, but I thought that... ...that when it was your time, you would be the one to hold the strings. Senator Corleone. Governor Corleone. Something. Michael: Another pezzo da novanta. Vito Corleone: Well... Just wasn't enough time, Michael. Wasn't enough time. Michael: We'll get there, Pop. We'll get there. Vito Corleone: Now listen, whoever comes to you with this Barzini meeting... ...he's the traitor. Don't forget that. Anthony: Can I hold it, please? Can I water these? Vito Corleone: Yes, go ahead. Over here, over here. Be careful. You're spilling it. Antony! Come here, come here. That's it. We'll put it right there. I'll show you something. Come here. Stand there. Anthony: Give me an orange! Vito Corleone: That's a new trick. You run in there. Run in there. Anthony: Where are you? Tessio: Mike, can I have a minute? Barzini wants to arrange a meeting. He says we can straighten out any of our problems. Michael: You talked to him? Tessio: Yeah. I can arrange security. On my territory. Michael: All right? Tessio: All right. Tom: Do you know how they're going to come at you? Michael: They're arranging a meeting in Brooklyn. Tessio's ground. Where I'll be safe. Tom: I always thought it would be Clemenza, not Tessio. Michael: It's the smart move. Tessio was always smarter. But I'm going to wait. After the baptism. I've decided to be godfather to Connie's baby. And then I'll meet with Don Barzini... ...and Tattaglia. All the heads of the five families. Priest: Michael, do you believe in God, the Father, Creator of Heaven and Earth? Michael: I do. Priest: Do you believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord? Michael: I do. Priest: Do you believe in the Holy Ghost, the Holy Catholic Church? Michael: I do. Priest: Michael Francis Rizzi, do you renounce Satan? Michael: I do renounce him. Priest: And all his works? Michael: I do renounce them. Oh, God! Priest: And all his pomps? Michael: I do renounce them. Priest: Michael Rizzi, will you be baptised? Michael: I will. Priest: Michael Rizzi, go in peace, and may the Lord be with you. Amen. Michael: Kay! Connie: Kiss your godfather. Michael: Can't go to Vegas. Something's come up. Everybody has to leave without us. Connie: Mike, it's our first vacation! Carlo: Connie, please. Michael: Go back to the house, wait for my call. It's important. I'll only be a couple of days. Tessio: We're on our way to Brooklyn. I hope Mike can get us a good deal. Tom: I'm sure he will. Cicci: Sal, Tom, the boss says he'll come in a separate car, so you two go on ahead. Tessio: That screws up my arrangements. Cicci: That's what he said. Tom: I can't go either, Sal. Tessio: Tell Mike it was only business. I always liked him. Tom: He understands that. Cicci: Excuse me, Sal. Tessio: Tom, can you get me off the hook? For old times' sake? Tom: Can't do it, Sally. Michael: You have to answer for Santino, Carlo. Carlo: Mike, you got it all wrong. Michael: You fingered Sonny for Barzini. That little farce you played with my sister. You think that could fool a Corleone? Carlo: I'm innocent. I swear on the kids. Please, don't do this. Michael: Sit down. Carlo: Don't do this to me, please. Michael: Barzini is dad. So is Philip Tattaglia. Moe Greene. Strachi. Cuneo. Today I settle all family business, so don't tell me you're innocent, Carlo. Admit what you did. Get him a drink. Come on. Don't be afraid, Carlo. Do you think I'd make my sister a widow? I'm godfather to your son, Carlo. Go ahead, drink, drink. No, you're out of the family business. That's your punishment. You're finished. I'm putting you on a plane to Vegas. Tom. I want you to stay there. Understand? Only don't tell me you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence. Makes me very angry. Who approached you? Tattaglia or Barzini? Carlo: It was Barzini. Michael: Good. There's a car waiting outside to take you to the airport. I'll call your wife and tell her what flight you're on. Carlo: Mike... Michael: Get out of my sight. Clemenza: Hello, Carlo. Mama: I'm trying to tell you... Connie: Mama, please! Michael! Kay: What is it? Connie: Where is he? Michael, you lousy bastard! You klled my husband. You waited until Papa died, so nobody could stop you. You blamed him for Sonny. Everybody did. But you never thought about me! Now what are we going to do? Kay: Connie. Connie: Why do you think he kept Carlo at the Mall? He knew he was going to kll him. And you stood godfather to our baby. You lousy cold-hearted bastard! Want to know how many men he had klled with Carlo? Read the papers! That's your husband, that's your husband! No! No, no... Michael: Take her upstairs. Get her a doctor. She's hysterical. Hysterical. Kay: Michael, is it true? Michael: Don't ask me about my business, Kay. Kay: Is it true? Michael: Don't ask me about my business. Enough! All right. This one time. This one time I'll let you ask me about my affairs. Kay: Is it true? Is it? Michael: No. Kay: I guess we both need a drink. Come on. Clemenza: Don Corleone.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Godfather, The (1972)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Optimus Prime: Before time began, there was the Cube. We know not where it comes from, only that it holds the power to create worlds and fill them with life. That is how our race was born. For a time, we lived in harmony, but like all great power, some wanted it for good, others for evil. And so began the wr, a wr that ravaged our planet until it was consumed by death, and the Cube was lost to the far reaches of space. We scattered across the galaxy, hoping to find it and rebuild our home, searching every star, every world. And just when all hope seemed lost, message of a new discovery drew us to an unknown planet called Earth. But we were already too late Jorge Figueroa: Oh, God, five months of this. I can't wait to get a little taste of home. A plate of mama's alligators Бtouff Бe. Epps; You've been talking about barbecued 'gators and crickets for the last two weeks. I'm never going to your mama's house, Fig. I promise. Figueroa : But Bobby, Bobby, 'gators are known to have the most succulent meat. Epps: I understand. English, please. English. Lennox: I mean, how many times have we... We don't speak Spanish. I told you that. Figueroa: Why you got to ruin it for me, man? That's my heritage. Lennox; Go with the Spanish. Whatever. First Sergeant Donnelly; Hey, you guys remember weekends? Huh? The Sox at Fenway. Figueroa: Cold hotdog and a flat beer. Perfect day. Donnelly; What about you, Captain? You got a perfect day? Lennox: I just can't wait to hold my baby girl for the first time. He's adorable. That's too... Lennox; Shut up! Hey, I'm ready to do this. Hey, any of y'all grow some balls, come see me on the court, man. Epps: Hey, hey! Watch this crossover, baby. Like Jordan in his prime, pushing through the front line. - Step aside, ladies. Oh, man. What? - Lennox! Hey, what are you doing? Lennox: Water? Thank you. Are you gonna help me with the gear? Op centre tech; Colonel Sharp, we have an inbound unidentified infiltrator, 10 miles out. Sergeant: Unidentified aircraft, you are in restricted US military airspace. Squawk ident and proceed east out of the area. Raptors one and two, snap to heading two-five-zero to intercept. Bogie is in the weeds ten miles out, not squawking. Unidentified aircraft, we will escort you to US SOCCENT airbase. If you do not comply, we will use deadly force. Copy the bogie. Tail 4500 X-ray. Op centre tech: Sir, says here 4500 X was sht down three months ago. Sergeant: Afghanistan. That's got to be a mistake. - Check again, then recheck. Op centre tech: I did, sir. A friend of mine was on that chopper. Sergeant: Unidentified aircraft, we will escort you to US SOCCENT airbase. - Radar, where's the inbound? Bogie's five miles out, sir. Lennox: My wife on? Yes, Captain. Lennox: My ladies! Look. Oh, my goodness. Look at her. She's getting so big. Look at those cheeks. I just wanna chew on them. Baby, we made a good-looking kid. I know that people say that all the time, but, wow, we made one good-Iooking kid. Nice work. Sarah Lennox: She has your laugh. Lennox: She laughed? Sarah: Her first one, yeah. Lennox: You sure she didn't just fart? Sarah: No, she's a lady. She doesn't know you yet, but she will. Sergeant: 4500 X. Something's not right. Bogie's on the deck. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Radar's jammed. It's coming from the chopper. Sarah: Will? Lennox: Sarah? Hey, Sarah, if you can hear me, I love you and I'll be home soon. Hey, Sarah, if you can hear me, I love you and I'll be home soon. To the right. Go to the right. Check fre. Sergeant: MH-53 pilot, power down now. Have your crew step out or we will kll you. Marine: Hold your fre! Stand by to engage! Sergeant: My God. Epps: They bmb the antenna farm! We're under attck! Sergeant: Go! Move! Move! It's going after the files! Cut the hard lines! Op centre tech: I need a key! It's locked! Lennox; Move! Move! Here, come here! Come here! Here, hide in here! Oh, my God. Okay. Epps: No! Oh! What the... Lennox: Epps, let's go! Okay, Mr. Witwicky, you're up. Sam: Sorry, I got a lot of stuff. Watch. Okay. For my family... Mr Hosney: Who did... Who did that? People! Responsibility. Sam: Okay. So, for my family genealogy report, I decided to do it on my great-great-grandfather, who was a famous man, Captain Archibald Witwicky. Very famous explorer. In fact, he was one of the first to explore the Arctic Circle, which is a big deal. In 1897, he took 41 brave sailors straight into the Arctic Shelf. Captain Witwicky; Move faster, men! Move! Chop! Heave! The ice is freezing faster than it's melting! Chop faster! Heave, men! Heave! No sacrifice, no victory! We'll get to the Arctic Circle, lads! Sam: So that's the story, right? And here we have some of the basic instruments and tools used by 19th-century seamen. This here is the quadrant, which you can get for 80 bucks. It's all for sale, by the way. Like the sextant here. $50 for this, which is a bargain. These are pretty cool. These are my grandfather's glasses. I haven't quite gotten them appraised yet, but they've seen many cool things. Mr Hosney: Are you going to sell me his liver? Mr. Witwicky, this isn't show and sell. It's the 11th grade. I don't think your grandfather would be particularly proud of what you're doing. Sam: I know. I'm sorry. I just, you know, this is all going towards my car fund. You can tell your folks. It's on eBay. I take PayPal. Cold hard cash works, too. And the compass makes a great gift for Columbus Day. Sam! Sam: Sorry. Unfortunately, my great-great-grandfather, the genius that he was, wound up going blind and crazy in a psycho ward, drawing these strange symbols and babbling on about some giant ice man that he thought he'd discovered. Okay. Might be a pop quiz tomorrow. Might not. - Sleep in fear tonight. Here, you want? Here, 50. 40? 30? - Sam? Sam; Yeah. Sorry, sorry. Okay. Pretty good, right? Mr Hosney: I'd say a solid B- . Sam: A B-? Mr Hesney: You were hawking your great-grandfather's crap - in my classroom. No, kids enjoy... Sam: Look, can you do me a favor? Hosney: What? Sam: Can you look out the window for a second? You see my father? He's the guy in the green car. Yeah. Okay, I wanna tell you about a dream. A boy's dream. And a man's promise to that boy. He looked at me in the eye. He said, "Son, I'm gonna buy you a car. "But I want you to bring me $2,000 and three As." Okay? I got the 2,000 and I got two As. Okay? Here's the dream. Your B- . Dream gone. Kaput. Sir, just ask yourself, what would Jesus do? Yes! Yes, yes. Ron witwicky: So? Sam: A- . It's an A, though. Ron: Wait, wait, wait. I can't see. It's an A. Sam: So I'm good? Ron witwicky: You're good. - I got a little surprise for you, son. Sam: What kind of... Ron: Yeah, a little surprise. Sam: No. No, no, no, no. Dad! - Oh, you got to be kidding me. See? Ron: Yeah. I am. You're not getting a Porsche. Sam: You think that's funny? Ron: Yeah, I think it's funny. What's wrong with you? You think I'd really get you a Porsche for your first car? Sam: I don't want to talk to you for the rest of this whole thing. Ron: Oh, come on. It's just a practical joke. Sam: It's not a funny joke. Bobby; Manny! Manny: What? Bobby: Get your cousin out of that damn clown suit. He's having a heat stroke again. Scaring white folks. : I'm hot! Makeup's melting. It hurts my eyes. Sam: Here? No, no, no, what is this? You said... You said half a car, not half a piece of crap, Dad. Ron: When I was your age, I'd have been happy with four wheels and an engine. Sam: Okay, let me explain something to you. Okay? - You ever see 40-Year-Old Virgin? Yeah. Okay, that's what this is. And this is 50-year-old virgin. Okay. You want me to live that life? Ron: No sacrifice, no victory. Sam: Yeah, no victory. You know, I got it. - The old Witwicky motto, Dad. Right. Bobby: Gentlemen. Bobby Bolivia, like the country, except without the runs. How can I help you? Ron: Well, my son here, looking to buy his first car. Bobby: You come to see me? I had to. Bobby: That practically makes us family. Uncle Bobby B, baby. Uncle Bobby B. - Sam. Sam, let me talk to you. Sam, your first enchilada of freedom awaits underneath one of those hoods. Let me tell you something, son. A driver don't pick the car. The car'll pick the driver. It's a mystical bond between man and machine. Son, I'm a lot of things, but a liar's not one of them. Especially not in front of my mammy. That's my mammy. Hey, Mammy! Don't be like that. If I had a rock, I'd bust your head, bitch. I tell you, man, she deaf, you know? Well, over here, every piece of car a man might want or need. Sam: This ain't bad. This one's got racing stripes. Bobby: Yeah. It got racing... Yeah, what's this? What the heck is this? I don't know nothing about this car. Manny! Manny: What? Bobby: What is this? This car! Check it out! Manny: I don't know, boss! I've never seen it! That's loco! Bobby: Don't go Ricky Ricardo on me, Manny! Find out! Sam: Feels good. Ron: How much? Bobby: Well, considering the semi-classic nature of the vehicle, with the slick wheels and the custom paint job... Sam: Yeah, but the paint's faded. Bobby: Yeah, but it's custom. Sam; It's custom faded? Bobby: Well, this is your first car. I wouldn't expect you to understand. Five grand. Ron: No, I'm not paying over four. Sorry. Bobby: Kid, come on, get out. Get out the car. Sam: No, no, no. You said cars pick their drivers. Bobby: Well, sometimes they pick a driver with a cheap-ass father. Out the car. Now, this one here for four Gs is a beaut. There's a Fiesta with racing stripes over there. Sam: No, I don't want a Fiesta with racing stripes. Bobby: This is a classic engine right here. I sold a car the other day... Ron: Gee. Holy cow. Bobby; No, no, no. No worries. Ron: You all right? Bobby: I'll get a sledgehammer and knock this right out. Hey, hey, Manny! Get your clown cousin and get some hammers and come bang this stuff out, baby! ... greater than man... That one's my favorite, drove all the way from Alabammy. $4,000. Defense Secretary John Keller: Steve. Steve: Hello, Mr. Secretary. John: They're so young. Steve: They're the top subject matter experts, sir. NSA's recruiting right out of high school these days. Guys, that's the Secretary of Defense. Student: I am so underdressed. Ladies and gentlemen, the Secretary of Defense. John: Please be seated. I'm John Keller. Obviously, you're wondering why you're here, so these are the facts. At 1900 local time yesterday, the SOCCENT Forward Operations Base in Qatar was attcked. So far as we know, there were no survivors. The objective of the attck was to hack our military network. We're not sure exactly what they're after, but we do know that they were cut off during the asault, which would lead us to assume that they're going to try it again. Now, no one's taken responsibility for the attck. And the only real lead we have so far is this sound. That's the signal that hacked our network. NSA's working at full capacity to analyze it and intercept further communications, but we need your help to find out who did this. Now, you've all shown considerable ability in the area of signals analysis. We're on a hair-trigger here, people. The President has dispatched battle groups to the Arabian Gulf and Yellow Sea. This is as real as it's ever gonna get. Now I'm gonna leave you to your officer-in-charge. You'll break up into teams and you'll start your work. Good luck to us all. Sam: All right, Mojo. I got the car. Now I need the girl. I need money to take out the girl is what I need. Zero bids. Great. Broke. Come on, Mojo. You want your pain pills? No. Premature. Good. What's up? Nothing. You know, just driving my car. Driving my car. It's like clockwork. All right, I know you get wasted on these things, but if you piss in my bed again, you're sleeping outside. Okay? That's it for today. No more. Crackhead. Judy: Ron, this one is uneven. Ron: Yeah. Probably. Judy; This one is wobbly. Ron: Yeah. I'll take care of that real soon. Judy: Couldn't we have hired a professional? Ron: Sam... Sam: What? Ron: I do not like footprints on my grass. Sam: What foot... There's no footprints. Ron: That's why I built my path. So why don't you go from my grass onto my path, okay? Sam: It's family grass, Dad. Ron: Well, when you own your own grass, you'll understand. Sam: This... I can't do it anymore. You're putting girl jewelry on a boy dog. Judy witwicky: What? Sam; He's got enough self-esteem issues as a Chihuahua, Mom. Judy; That's his bling. Ron: I want you home at 11:00! Sam; Yeah, all right. Ron: 11:00! Judy: Please, for the love of God, drive safely. Ron: Seat belt on! Judy: Wow. You are so cheap. Ron: Well, it's his first car. Supposed to be like that. John Keller: At this time, we can't confirm whether there were any survivors. Oh, my God. Our bases worldwide are, as of now, at DEFCON Delta, our highest readiness level. We're dealing with a very effective wapon system that we have not come across before. But our prayers are with the families of the brave men and women... Sarah: Honey, Daddy's gonna be okay. Epps: I've never seen a wapon system like this. The thermal shows this weird aura around the exoskeleton like it's cloaked by some kind of invisible force field. Donnelly: That's impossible. There's no such thing as invisible force fields except in, like, comic book stuff, right? Figueroa: Man, I don't know. What is that? My mama, she had the gift, you know? She saw things. I got the gene, too, and that thing that attcked us? I got a feeling it ain't over. Donnelly; How about you use those magic voodoo powers and get us the hell out of here, huh? Epps: When I took that picture, I think it saw me. It looked right at me. Lennox: All right, we got to get this thing back to the Pentagon right away. They got to know what we're dealing with here. Epps: My radio's fried. - I got no communication with aerial. Lennox: Hey, Mahfouz. How far do you live from here? Mahfouz: Not far. Just up that mountain. Lennox: Do they have a phone? Yes. Lennox: All right, let's ht it. Miles; Dude, are you sure we're invited to this party? Sam; Of course, Miles. It's a lake. Public property. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, dude, Mikaela's here. Just don't do anything weird, all right? Miles: I'm good, right? Yeah, you're good. Sam: Okay. Trent; Hey, guys, check it out. Sam; Oh, hi. Trent: Hey, bro. That car. It's nice. Hey. So, what are you guys doing here? Sam: We're here to climb this tree. Trent: I see that. It looks... It looks fun. - Yeah. You know, I thought I recognized you. You tried out for the football team last year, right? Coach: Let's go call your mom. Sam; Oh, no, no, that... No. That wasn't like a real tryout. I was researching a book I was writing. Trent: Oh, yeah? Sam: Yeah. Trent; Yeah? What's it about? Sucking at sports? Sam; No, it's about the link between brain damage and football. No, it's a good book. Your friends'll love it. You know, it's got mazes in it and, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures. It's a lot of fun. Trent: That's funny. Mikaela: Okay, okay. You know what? Stop. Trent; Hey, guys, I know of a party. Let's go, let's head. Sam: You got to get out of the tree right now. Get... Just get out of the tree right now, please. What are you doing? Miles: Did you see that dismount? All the chicks were watching. Sam: You're making me look like an idiot. We both looked like idiots just now. - Hey, how about you let me drive? Trent: Oh, no. No, no, no. This is not a toy. These 22s, I don't want you grinding them. No. Why doesn't my little bunny just hop in the back seat? Mikaela: God, I can't even tell you how much I'm not your little bunny. Trent:?Okay. You'll call me. ( radio) Who's gonna drive you home, tonight? Miles; Hey, man, what's wrong with your radio? Sam: I'm gonna drive her home tonight. Miles: What? She's an evil jock concubine, man. Let her hitchhike. Sam: She lives 10 miles from here, okay? It's my only chance. You got to be understanding here, all right? Miles: All right. We'll put her in the back. I'll be quiet. Sam: Did you say, "Put her in the back"? Miles: I called gn. Sam: I'm not putting her in the back. You got to get out of my car. Miles; That's a party foul. What rules? Bros before hos. Sam: Miles, I'm begging you to get out of my car. Okay? Miles; You can't do this to me. Sam: You got to get out of my car right now. Who's gonna come around when you break? Sam: Mikaela! It's Sam. Witwicky. I hope I didn't get you stranded or anything. You sure? So, listen, I was wondering if I could ride you home. I mean, give you a ride home in my car, to your house. There you go. So... Mikaela: I can't believe that I'm here right now. Sam: You can duck down if you want. I mean, it won't hurt my feelings. Mikaela: Oh, no, no, no. I didn't mean here with you. I just meant here, like, in this situation, this same situation that I'm always in. 'Cause, I don't know, I guess I just have a weakness for hot guys, for tight abs and really big arms. Sam: Big arms? Well, there's a couple new additions in the car. Like, I just put in that light there. And that disco ball. And so the light reflects off the disco ball. Mikaela: Yeah. Are you new to school this year? It's your first year here? Sam: Oh, no, no. We've been in the same school since first grade. Mikaela: Really? Sam: Yeah. Yeah, a long time. Mikaela: Well, do we have any classes together? Sam: Yeah, yeah. Mikaela: Really? Which? Sam; History. Language arts. Math. Science. Mikaela: Sam. Sam. Yeah. Sam Wilkicky. Witwicky. God, you know what? I'm so sorry. I just... Sam: No, it's cool. Mikaela: I just didn't recognize you. Sam: Yeah, well, I mean, that's understandable. No, no, no. No. Come on. Sorry, I'm just working out the kinks. You know, it's a new car. ( radio) When I get that feeling I want sexual healing Sam:This radio is, like, you know... It's an old radio, too, so... ( radio) Sexual healing Sam: Look, this isn't something that I, you know... I can't get this radio to stop. Look, I wouldn't try this on you. 'Cause this is like a romantic thing that I'm not trying to do. Not that you're not worthy of trying something like this on. - No, of course not. I'm a friend of yours. I'm not a romantic friend. Romantic friends do this. I mean, I'm not that friend. I mean, we... I could be. ( radio) I feel good Mikaela: Just pop the hood. Sam; Stupid. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Mikaela: Whoa, nice headers. You've got a high-rise double-pump carburetor. That's pretty impressive, Sam. Sam: Double-pump? Mikaela; It squirts the fuel in so you can go faster. I like to go faster. Mikaela: And it looks like your distributor cap's a little loose. Sam: Yeah? How'd you know that? Mikaela: My dad. He was a real grease monkey. He taught me all about this. I could take it all apart, clean it, put it back together. Sam: That's weird. I just wouldn't peg you for mechanical. Oh, my God. Mikaela: Well, you know, I don't really broadcast it. Guys don't like it when you know more about cars than they do. Especially not Trent. He hates it. Sam: Yeah, no, I'm cool with, you know, females working on my engine. I prefer it, actually. Mikaela: Okay. You want to fre it up for me? Sam: Oh, yeah, yeah, no problem. Mikaela: Thanks. Sam: You know, I was thinking. You know, if Trent's such a jerk, why do you hang out with him? Mikaela: You know what? I'm just... I'm gonna walk. Good luck with your car. Sam: All right. Walking's healthy, right? Oh, God, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, please. Please, you gotta work for me now. Don't let her walk away. Come on, come on, come on. Please, please. Baby come back any kind of fool could se Sam: Hey! ( radio) There was something in everything about you Baby come back you can blame it all on me Hey! Wait a second! I was wrong and I just can't live without you There it is. Mikaela; I had fun. So, you know, thanks for listening. Sam; Oh, yeah, yeah. Mikaela: You... You think I'm shallow? Sam: I think you're... No, no, no. I think there's a lot more than meets the eye with you. Mikaela: Okay. Sam: Yeah. Mikaela: All right, I'll see you at school. Sam: All right. That's stupid. That was a stupid line. "There's more than meets the eye with you." Stupid. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I love my car. Analyst: Hey, guys, I think the other team figured it out. Iran. Analyst 2: Come on, man. This is way too smart for Iranian scientists. Analyst: Think about it. What do you think, kid? Chinese? Maggie madsen: No way. This is nothing like what the Chinese are using. This is Air Force One. Level of flight, level three-three-zero. We will hunt down this enemy. And when we do, we'll know just what to do with them. Thank you. You're welcome. Apparently, there are very few survivors. Secret service: Yes, Mr. President? President; Yeah, can you wrangle me up some Ding Dongs, darling? Secret service: I joined the Air Force to bring the man Ding Dongs. I'll be in storage. sh*t. Gross. Maggie: Do you hear that? Are you getting this? I think they're hacking the network again. Oh, my God. This is a direct match to the signal in Qatar. Are you running a diagnostic? Analyst: Should I be? Maggie: Yes, you should. Analyst: So I am. Maggie: Someone! They're hacking into Air Force One! We need a senior analyst. I think they're planting a virus. General : A virus? It's streaming right now. Maggie: They are planting a virus and stealing a whole lot of data from your system at the same time. Code Red. We have a breach. Air Force One, someone onboard has breached the military network. I'm in the cargo hold. Clear. Clear. Maggie: You got to cut the hard lines. What? Maggie: Whatever they want, they are getting it. Sir? Permission to take down the Defense Network. Cut all server hard lines now. Cut all server hard lines now. FBI man: Someone's tampered with the POTUS mainframe. What the... shts fired in the underdeck. Repeat, shts fired. Crew, prepare for emergency descent. John Keller: I want our President in that bunker. And I don't want to discuss a damn thing other till that becomes reality. That's our first priority. That's our only priority right now. Air Force One is on the ground. Sam: Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! That's my car! No! No, no, no, no. Dad, call the cops! Where you going with my car, buddy? Where you going? Hello? 911 emergency! My car has been stolen! I'm in pursuit! Right? I need all units, the whole squadron. Bring everyone! No, don't ask me questions, all right? My father's the head of the neighborhood watch! Oh, my God. My name is Sam Witwicky. Whoever finds this, my car is alive, okay? You saw that? Since this is my last words on Earth, I just wanna say, Mom, Dad, I love you, and if you find Busty Beauties under my bed, it wasn't mine. I'm holding it for Miles. No, no, wait that... Okay, that's not true. It's mine and Uncle Charles gave it to me. I'm sorry. Mojo, I love you. No! No! No! No! Oh, my God. No, you're a good dog! Good dog! Good dog! Oh, my God. Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! All right! Oh! No! No! Okay. Please, please don't kll me! I'm sorry! Take the keys! I don't want them! Car's yours! Listen, listen, listen. Sam: Good, you're here. Cop: Let me see your hands! Sam: No, no, no! It's not me! Let me see your hands. The guy's inside. Cop: Shut up! Walk towards the car. Put your head on the hood. General: Whoever did this finally managed to infiltrate our defense network, which is what they tried to do in Qatar, only this time it worked. Keller: What did they get? We still don't know. Keller: Talk to me about the virus. It's a Spider-bot virus. We're not sure what it's going to do, but it may cripple the system. Keller; Can we stop it? Every time we try an antivirus, it adapts and speeds up. It's like it's not a virus anymore. It's become the system. Sergeant: Obviously the first phase of a major attck against the US. The only countries with this kind of capability are Russia, North Korea, maybe China. Maggie: I'm sorry, that's not correct. Sergeant; Excuse me, young lady. I didn't see you standing there. You would be who? Maggie: I'm just the analyst who detected the hack. Hold on. It was you? You did it? - Her team. Maggie: Sir, I was just trying to say, they hacked your firewall in 10 seconds. Okay. Even a supercomputer with a brute force attck would take 20 years to do that. Sergeant: Maybe you can explain, then, how our latest satellite imagery shows North Korea doubling its naval activity. Maggie: Maybe it's a precaution, because isn't that what we're doing? The signal pattern is learning. It's evolving on its own. And you need to move past Fourier transfers and start considering quantum mechanics. There is nothing on Earth that complex. Maggie: What about an organism? A living organism? Maybe some kind of DNA-based computer? And I know that that sounds crazy... Keller: That's enough. That's enough. We have six floors of analysts working on this thing. Now, if you can find proof to back up your theory, I'm gonna be happy to listen to you. But if you don't get a filter on that brain-mouth thing, you're gonna be off the team. You understand? Sam: Look, I can't be any clearer than how crystal clear I am being. It just stood up. It just stood up. Cop: Wow. That's really neat. Okay, chiefie. Time to fill her up. And no drippy-drippy. What are you rolling? Whippets? Goofballs? A little wowie sauce with the boys? Sam: No, I'm not on any drugs. Cop: What's these? Found it in your pocket. "Mojo." Is that what the kids are doing now? Little bit of Mojo? Sam: Those are my dog's pain pills. You know, a Chihuahua. A little... Cop: What was that? You eyeballing my piece, 50 Cent? You wanna go? Make something happen. Do it. 'Cause I promise you I will bust you up. Sam: Are you on drugs? Lennox: Let's hope this telephone line works. Hey, heads up! Heads up! Hey! Heads up! What the heck was that? English, dude. English. Whoa! Watch out! Open fre! Contact! Contact! Everybody, quiet. Settle. Epps; Whoa, mother... What the hell is... Lennox: Get up! Get up! Come on! Go! Move it! Take cover! Fig! Cover the rear! Cover fre! Move it! Fig, cover the rear! Epps! Cover the rear! Move it! Come on! Epps: Give me a mag! Lennox: Where's your papa? Where's your papa? Papa! Lennox: Sir, we need... I need a telephone. - Telephone, telephone, yes! Telephone! Hey, I need a mag! Give me a mag! Lennox; Cell phone! I don't know how to thank you. fre! This is an emergency Pentagon call! I need you to... Do you understand? It's an emergency Pentagon... I don't have a credit card! Operator: Sir, the attitude is not going to speed things up any bit at all. I'm going to ask you to speak into the mouthpiece very clearly. Lennox: I'm in the middle of a wr! This is frigging ridiculous! Epps: amo! Lennox: I need a credit card! Epps! Where's your wallet? Epps: Pocket! Lennox: Which pocket? Epps: My back pocket! Lennox: You got 10 back pockets! Epps: Left cheek! Left cheek! Left cheek! Epps: All right, keep shting! Keep shting! Lennox; Okay, it's Visa. Operator: Also, sir, have you heard about our premium plus world-service gold package? Lennox: No, I don't want a premium package! Epps! Pentagon! Give me a status. Sir, we're tracking a Special Ops team under fre in Qatar. They say they're survivors of the base attck. Keller: Survivors? Epps:,I ain't never seen this in my life! Need gn on station ASAP! Predator's coming up in a minute. We're linking the call to the nearest AWACS. Epps: Unknown, man. I don't... Man, if you seen this shit... Predator ETA two minutes. Hey! Make way! Keller: What is that? I don't know. We need air support and we need it now. General: Roll in strike package Bravo on unknown target. I authenticate Tango Whiskey at time 0300 Zulu. Attention, all aircraft. This will be a danger close-fre mission. wapon, I just got a call from Falcon Ops. Who's closer to kll Box One Alpha? - Send the Hogs, sir. Okay, send the Hogs over to kll Box One Alpha. It's a danger close... Switch the Hogs to kll Box One Alpha, 300 feet danger close. Friendlies in the area. Epps: Seven-man team north of orange smoke! Received kll Box One Alpha. Engage hostile. Epps: attck direction west! You're clear and hot! Strike, tell me status of Hog right now. Hog One-One Dark Star status. Epps: Lennox! The heat's coming! Lennox: Laze the target! We got a beam-rider incoming! Laze target! Ready! Heat's coming! Epps: What? Bring it! Receiving radar jamming in vicinity of target. Lennox: No frigging way that thing's still not down. Epps: Spooky Three Two, use 105 shells. Bring the rain. Be advised, ground team is requesting 105 sabot rounds. Keller: Did we lose them? Warthog One confirm visual on friendlies. Lennox. Where's Fig? - Fig? Fig? Oh, God! Figueroa: God damn it! Lennox: Get a medic! Get a medic! I'm sorry. Black Hawk... We'll get a medic. Just hold on. He's got a pulse. We need a medevac. One man down. Patient care category urgent. Keller: Bring them home. You get those men stateside right now. I want them debriefed in 10 hours. Maggie: There's only one hacker in the world who can break this code. Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Stop! I am sorry to bother you. Glen; Maggie? Maggie: Listen, I need your help. Glenn: No! This is my private area, my place of Zen and peace. Maggie; Listen to me. Glen! Who is it? Glenn; Shut up, Grandma! - What are you doing here? Maggie: Just give me a break, will you, please? Glen: Grandmama! Drink your prune juice! - What level are you on, man? Glen’s cousin: Six. Oh, here come the matrix! Here come the matrix! Maggie; Glen, seriously, don't you want to see something classified? Yeah. Get low. - Here we go. Here we go. Double tap. Glen: Hey, I just paused it. I just paused it. Glen: Hey. I need a moment. Please Maggie:. Sorry. Glen’s cousin: Hey, man, save my game. Glen: How classified? Maggie:Like "I will go to jail for the rest of my life for showing you" classified. Glen: Yes! One quick peek. General: Special Ops got a thermal snapshot of whatever ht the base in Qatar. Keller: I want to see it. Well, the imager was damaged, sir. The rangers are en route with the imager, but we also have a security issue. Circle logs indicate one of the analysts made a copy of the network intrusion signal. Glen; The signal strength is through the roof. Where did you say you got this? It hacked the national military air-guard frequency in less than a minute. No way. Maggie: Yeah. Glen: Looks like there's a message embedded in the signal. Let me work my magic. Maggie: "Project Iceman"? Glen; What's Sector Seven? Maggie: Who is Captain Witwicky? Glen’s Grandma: Are you playing those video games again? Glen: Cops! Cops! FBI man: FBI! Clear right! Lock it down! Lock it down! Cops! Lock it down. Glen’s cousin: Wait! I'm just a cousin! I'm just a... Glen; Get off my Grandmama's carpet! She don't like nobody on the carpet! Especially police! It was an awesome spectacle here an hour ago when over 40 C-17 s lifted off of this very base. We're not told where they're going. Sam: Morning, Mo. The government has been very quiet about what's going on but in our... Sam: Mojo. Mojo. They were headed directly towards North Korea. Stop with the barking, Mojo. It's too early. Please? Miles? Miles, listen to me. Listen. - My car, it stole itself, okay? Miles: What are you talking about, man? Sam: Satan's Camaro. In my yard. It's stalking me. Stop! No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God! Mikaela: Sam? Sam: Hi. Mikaela: That was... That was really awesome. Sam: Well, it felt awesome. Mikaela: Are you okay? Sam: I'm not okay, all right? I'm losing my mind a little bit. I'm getting chased by my car right now. I got to go. Mikaela: You know what? I'm gonna catch up with you guys later. Sam: Oh, great. Cops. Officer! Listen! Oh, that hurt. Listen to me! Thank God you're here! I've had the worst day ever! I've been... I've been followed here on my mother's bike! Right? And my car's right there and it's been following me here! Cop: So get out of the car! Sam; No! Stop! Oh, God. Okay, okay! Okay, all right! Okay! I'm sorry! I'm... I didn't mean to ht your car! Look! Okay, look, look, look! Stop, stop! Please! Okay, what do you want from me? Okay. Oh, God, no! No! Oh, shit! Oh, shit, shit, shit! Oh, God! Oh, shit! It's a bad dream. Barricade: Are you username LadiesMan217? Sam: I don't know what you're talking about! Barricade: Are you username LadiesMan217? Sam: Yeah. Barricade: Where is eBay item 21153? Where are the glasses? Sam: Get back! Stop! Mikaela: God! What is your problem, Sam? Sam: Okay, there's a monster right there! It just attcked me! Here he comes! All right, get up. Get up and run! You have to run! Okay. Mikaela: Sam, what is that thing? Sam: You have to get in the car. Get in. Mikaela: I don't want to. Sam: Get in the car. Trust me. Trust me! Mikaela: Sam. Sam: Get in! Go, go, go, go, go. Go, go, go, go! Mikaela: Oh, God! We're gonna die! We're gonna die! Sam: No, we're not. No, we're not gonna die. Mikaela: Oh, my God! Sam: Trust me. He's a kick-ass driver! Oh, my God! No! We're gonna die! Mikaela: Oh, my God! Sam: We're locked in. The car won't start. At least we ditched the monster, right? Okay. Time to start. He's got me! Oh, God! He's going to kll me! No. No, no, no! Get off! kll it! kll it! Get it, get it, get it, get it! Not so tough without a head, are you? Here, come on. Mikaela: What is it? Sam; It's a robot. But like a... Like a different... You know, like a super-advanced robot. It's probably Japanese. Yeah, it's definitely Japanese. Mikaela: What are you doing? Sam: I don't think it wants to hurt us. It would have done that already. Mikaela ; Really? Well, do you speak robot? Because they just had, like, a giant droid death match. Sam: I think it wants something from me. Mikaela: What? Sam: Well, 'cause the other one was talking about my eBay page. Mikaela: You are the strangest boy I have ever met. Sam: Can you talk? ( radio) XM Satellite Radio... Digital cable brings you... ... Columbia Broadcasting System... Sam: So you... You talk through the radio? ( radio) Thank you, you're beautiful. You're wonderful, you're wonderful. Sam: So, what was that last night? What was that? Message from Starfleet, Captain... Throughout the inanimate vastness of space... Angels will rain down like visitors from heaven! Hallelujah! Visitors from heaven? What... Sam: What are you, like, an alien or something? Any more questions you want to ask? Sam: He wants us to get in the car. Mikaela; And go where? Sam: Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car? Mikaela: This car's a pretty good driver. Sam; I know. Why don't you go sit in that seat, there? Mikaela: I'm not going to sit in that seat. He's driving. Sam: Yeah. You're right. - Well, maybe you should sit in my lap. Mikaela: Why? Sam: Well, I have the only seat belt here. You know, safety first. Mikaela: Yeah, all right. Sam: Right? Yeah. Okay. There, see? That's better. Okay. Okay. Mikaela: You know, that seat belt thing was a pretty smooth move. Sam: Thank you. Mikaela: You know what I don't understand? Why, if he's supposed to be, like, this super-advanced robot, does he transform back into this piece-of-crap Camaro? Sam: Whoa! Whoa! Oh, see? No. Get... No, that doesn't work. See? Driver: Move it, you moron! Sam: Great, now... See? Fantastic. Now you pissed him off. That car is sensitive. Sam: I mean, $4000 just drove off. What? Epps : This is you... Oh, my God! Come on, let's go. This is the coolest thing I've ever seen! explsin everywhere! This is easily a hundred times cooler than Armageddon. I swear to God! fre, fre, fre, fre! Whoa! Sweet! Oh, dude, I hope this guy's got asteroid insurance, 'cause he is so boned! What is that? There's something in the tree, dude. No, there's something in the thing by the tree! Could you guys just give me a space rock? Little girl; Excuse me, are you the tooth fairy? Hey, sweetheart, what are you doing out here by yourself? Holy God! What happened to the pool? Optimus prime: Are you Samuel James Witwicky, descendent of Archibald Witwicky? Mikaela: They know your name. They know your name. Sam: Yeah. Optimus : My name is Optimus Prime. We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron. Ratchet: But you can call us Autobots for short. Sam: Autobots. Jazz: What's cracking, little bitches? Optimus: My first lieutenant. Designation, Jazz. Jazz: This looks like a cool place to kick it. Sam: What is that? How did he learn to talk like that? Optimus: We've learned Earth's languages through the World Wide Web. Optimus: My wapon specialist, Ironhide. Ironhide: You feeling lucky, punk? Optimus: Easy, Ironhide. Ironhide: Just kidding. I just wanted to show him my cannons. Optimus: Our medical officer, Ratchet. Ratchet: The boy's pheromone level suggests he wants to mate with the female. Optimus: You already know your guardian, Bumblebee. Sam: Bumblebee, right? Check on the rep Yep, second to none Sam: So you're my guardian, huh? Ratchet; His vocal processors were damaged in battle. I'm still working on them. Mikaela: Why are you here? Optimus: We are here looking for the All Spark. And we must find it before Megatron. Sam: Mega-what? Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our wr finally consumed the planet, and the All Spark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him. Sam: My grandfather. It was an accident that intertwined our fates. Captain witwicky: Come back! I think the dogs have found something. Witwicky: The ice is cracking! Captain! Grab my rope, Captain! I'm all right, lads! Can we throw you a rope, Captain? Optimus: Megatron crash-landed before he could retrieve the Cube. Witwicky: Men! We've made a discovery! Optimus: He accidentally activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were imprinted on his glasses. Sam: How'd you know about his glasses? Optimus: EBay. Sam: EBay. Ratchet: If the Decepticons find the All Spark, they will use its power to transform Earth's machines and build a new army. Optimus: And the human race will be extinguished. Sam Witwicky, you hold the key to Earth's survival. Mikaela: Please tell me that you have those glasses. Lennox: It's like a self-regenerating molecular armor. Look at the scorch mark where the sabot round ht. Melted right through. Hey, aren't sabots hot-Ioaded for, like, a 6,000-degree magnesium burn? Epps: Close to it. It melts tnk armor. Lennox: So this metal skin must react to extreme heat. Heads up! Epps: Oh! I thought you said that thing was dad, man! Lennox: Strap it down! Strap it! This thing is wicked. All right, get on the horn with Northern Command. Tell them that our effective wapon is high-heat sabot rounds. Recommend we load them on all the gn. Go. Glen; You want that piece? Okay, Maggie, look. Let me break it down to you how it's gonna happen. They gonna come through that door and be good cop, bad cop. Don't fall for that, all right? That's why I ate their food. See, they put the plate of donuts out here to test your guilt. If you don't touch it, you're guilty. I ate the whole plate. The whole plate. Okay? It's me and you. They walk through that door, you don't say nothing. She did it! She did it! She's the one you want! All right? I was just sitting at home watching cartoons, playing video games with my cousin, and she came in there. - And then... Maggie; Glen, you freak. Glen; Hey! I am not going to jail for you or anybody else! I have done nothing bad my entire life! Hey, man, I'm still a virgin. Okay, so what? I've downloaded a couple of thousand songs off the Internet. Who hasn't? Who hasn't? - I promise! Maggie; Glen, shut up! Glen: No, you shut up! Don't talk to me! Don't talk to me, criminal! - Oh, sugar rush. Maggie: This is... This is not his fault. Glen: See? So can I go home now? Maggie: Oh, okay. I won't. But just listen to me. Okay, whoever hacked into your military system downloaded a file, all right? It was something about someone named Witwicky and some government group, right? Named Sector Seven. You have to let me talk to Defense Secretary Keller before you go to wr with the wrong country! Whatever fell out of the sky ended up right behind... Judy: What did he say? Ron: What? Judy: Did he hear it, too? Ron: Yeah, Jack heard it, too. Yeah. What does he think it is? He thinks it's a military experiment. - What a knucklehead. Yeah, well, I think it's a plane. Still no official word as to what happened. You can see... Judy: Yeah! Call Sam. Yeah. Why? He should be home in 15 minutes. Ron; Well, I'll call him in 15 minutes. Judy: If you wait 15 minutes, he'll be late and you'll have to ground him. Ron: Well, I can't ground him if he's not late, can I? Sam: I need you to stay here, all right? You got to stay here and you're gonna watch them. - Okay, okay. Sam: All of them. - Do you hear what I'm saying? Mikaela: Yeah, okay, okay. Five minutes, all right? Ron;?Thanks for staying on my path. Sam: Oh, yeah. No, no, Dad. Hey! The... Oh, the path. I'm sorry. I forgot about the path. I'm gonna sweep the whole thing right now. How about that? Ron: You know, I buy half your car... Sam; Yeah. ... Ron: then I bail you out of jail and then I just decided to do all your chores. Sam: The chores. Ron: Yeah. Life is great, huh? Sam: Life... Life is fantastic, is how good it is. It's so... Oh, the trash cans. Sam; Sorry, Dad. I'm gonna do the trash cans now. No, no, I don't want you to strain yourself. Sam: No, no, I won't strain myself, Dad. I'll do it. It would hurt my feelings if you do it. Ron: You sure? Sam: I don't mind, I don't... I promise... No, no, no, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do the trash cans and I'm gonna scrape the grill and I'm gonna... I'm gonna sweep up the whole house right now. Ron: Tonight, right now? Sam: Right now. The... I love you. God, I love you just so much right now. Ron: You know, Mom wanted me to ground you. You're three minutes late. Right? Sam; Oh, well, just another thing you did for me, Dad, because you're such a swell guy. One more thing, huh? All right, I love you! Sleep good, handsome man! Sam; What are you doing? What are you doing? No, watch the path! Watch the path! Watch the... Please, please, please. No, no, wait. No, no, no! Oh, no! Optimus: Sorry. My bad. Oh, I... Sam: You couldn't... Sam: You couldn't wait for five... You couldn't wait for five minutes? I told you to just stay! Just stay! God! - I told you to watch them. I told you. Okay, you know what? Mikaela: They seem to be in a little bit of a rush. Oh, this is bad. No! Sam; Mojo, Mojo! Off the robot! God! - Oh, wet. No, no, no, no, no! Easy! Easy! Sam: Hold on! Hold! This is Mojo. This is Mojo. He's a pet of mine. He's a pet. Okay? That's all. If you could just put the gn away... Put the... Put them away. Please. Ironhide: You have a rodent infestation. Sam: A what? Ironhide: Shall I terminate? Sam: No, no, no, no. He's not a rodent, he's a Chihuahua. This is my... This is my Chihuahua. We love Chihuahuas! Don't we? Ironhide: He's leaked lubricants all over my foot. Sam: He peed on you? Bad Mojo. Bad Mojo! Bad Mojo! I'm sorry. He's got a male dominance thing. That's all it is. Ironhide: My foot's gonna rust. All right. Sam: Okay, okay. Shut up and go hide! Optimus: Just hurry. Autobots, recon. Judy; I hope he's okay. Ron: He's in the kitchen. Got some ice on his nose. I had to slap him around a little bit. Judy: You did not. - You didn't even ground him. Ron; Almost, almost. Sam: Where are they? No, no, no, no, no. Come on, come on. What? What is this? Optimus: Time is short. Mikaela: They really want those glasses. Sam: Come on. What are you doing? I'm gonna help you. Okay. Please hurry. Okay. Sam: Yeah, no, no. It's definitely gone. Mikaela: What do you mean? Sam: My glasses were in the bag. They were in the backpack and now the backpack isn't here. Mikaela: Well, they're gonna be pissed, so what do you wanna do? Sam: So what I think you should do is you should... You should check this whole... This whole section here. Just give it a clean sweep, and I'll get the corner here. Yeah, no, no, no. Not there. That's my... That's my private... Sorry. That's nothing. You just... Mikaela: You just told me to look... Sam: I know, but I didn't mean to look inside of my treasure chest. Mikaela: You should be way more specific so I don't get in trouble in your room. Sam: I'm already stressed out enough. Okay. What now? No. No, no. No, no, no. This isn't hiding. This isn't hiding. This is my backyard, not a truck stop. Oh, God. Oh! Okay, I saw it. The UFO landed right here and now it's gone. My moped's under there, man! Who's gonna pay for that? Mikaela: Sam? Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. He's back here. Sam: I can't deal with this. I can't... Sam: What? Oh, no, no, no. This is my mother's flower... Optimus; Oops. Sam: Okay, listen. You got to listen to me. If my parents come out here and see you, they're gonna freak out. My mother's got a temper, okay? We must have the glasses. Sam: I know you need the glasses. I've been looking everywhere. They're not here. They're definitely not here. Optimus: Keep searching. Sam: I need you to be quiet for five minutes. Ten minutes. Okay? Please, I'm begging you. You got to... You're making a racket. I can't concentrate. You want me to look and I'm hearing... Optimus: Calm down, calm down. Sam: You got to do something here. You got to do something here. Optimus: Autobots, fall back. Thank you. Please, for five minutes. Sam: Good? Good? Okay. Move! Get away! Optimus: What's the matter with you? Can't you be quiet? He wants us to be quiet. Ron: Earthquake! Move, move, move, move, move! Earthquake! Judy! Judy, get under the table! Move it! Duck and cover right now! Judy! Judy, get under the table! Move it! Duck and cover right now! Judy: How did you get over there so fast? Ratchet; Wow! That was tingly! - You got to try that! Yeah, that looks fun. Ron: Sam? Judy; Sammy? Ron: What the hell is that? Judy: I don't know. Ron; Sam? Judy: That's weird. - Sam! Optimus: Ratchet, point the light. - Come on, hurry. Sam: Listen, we got a major issue in here. What's with the light? You gotta stop the light. What's going on? Turn it off. You gotta tell him to shut it off. - Shut it off. Ron: Sam, are you in there? How come the door's locked? You know the rules. No doors locked in my house! Judy: You know he'll start counting if you don't open the door! Ron; One more chance. Five... Judy: Oh, dear. Ron: Four. It's coming off the hinges, pal. He's counting! Judy; Sam, just open the door. Ron: Three. Judy; Oh, my. Ron; Two. Judy: He's counting. Ron: Stand back. Sam: What's up? What's with the bat? Ron; Who were you talking to? Sam: I'm talking to you. Judy: Why are you so sweaty and filthy? Sam; I'm a child. You know, I'm a teenager. Judy; We heard voices and noises and we thought maybe you were... Ron: It doesn't matter what we thought. What was that light? Sam: No, what light? What? There's no light, Dad! There's no light! You got two lights in your hand! That's what it is. Maybe it bounced... Ron: There was light under the door. Sam: Look, you can't... You can't just bounce into my room like that. You got to knock. You got to communicate. We knocked for five minutes. Sam: I'm a teenager. Ron: We knocked. Sam: You didn't knock. - You were screaming at me, okay? No. This is repression, what you're doing here. - You're ruining my youth, okay? Judy: Oh, for Pete's sakes! You are so defensive! Were you masturbating? Ron: Judy. Sam: Was I... - No, Mom. Zip it, okay? Judy; It's okay. Sam: No, I don't masturbate! Ron: That's not something for you to bring up. - That's a father-and-son thing, okay? Father-son thing. Judy: I mean, you don't have to call it that word if that makes you uncomfortable. You can call it Sam's happy time or... Sam: Happy time? ...my special alone time... Stop. Mom. Ron : Judy, stop. ... Sam: with myself. - Mom, you can't come in and... Judy; I'm sorry. It's just been a weird night. I've had a little bit to drink. Sam: No, no, Dad. Ron; Yeah, well, we saw a light. Oh, parents. I don't know where it was, but we saw it. Ron: Earthquake! It's another one! Another earthquake! Get in the doorway! Okay! Aftershock! Aftershock! Okay! Aftershock! Aftershock! Oh, I hate these. - Got to ride it out. Ride it out! Quick, hide. - Hey, the lights are back on. Hide? What? - Where? Judy: Come on, get out of that tub. Ron: Can't you take safety seriously? Judy: Good Lord, this floor is filthy, Sam. Ron: Oh, oh, man! Man. Oh. Oh, no! Look at the yard. The yard is destroyed. Judy? Better call the city. We got a blown transformer! Power pole's sparking all over the place! Oh, man. Yard's a waste. Trashed. Gone. It's a wash. The whole yard. You're kidding. Ironhide: The parents are very irritating. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ironhide: Can I take them out? Optimus: Ironhide, you know we don't harm humans. What is with you? Ironhide: Well, I'm just saying , It's an option. Ron; We heard you talking to somebody, Sam. Judy: We wanna know who. Sam: Mom, I told... Mikaela: Hi. I'm Mikaela. I'm a... I'm a friend of Sam's. Judy: Gosh, you're gorgeous. Isn't that the prettiest girl? Sam: She can hear you talking, Mom. Mikaela: Thank you. Judy: Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry you had to hear our little family discussion about... Sorry that we're bugging you. Sam; Do you have my backpack? Judy: Come on, hon. Let's go. Oh, it's in the kitchen. Sam: Oh, yes. Okay. Okay. Mikaela: Yeah. Your mom's so nice. Sam; I want you to distract my parents while I slip out and get these glasses to them, okay? Simmons: Ronald Wickity? Ron; It's Witwicky. Who are you? Simmons: We're the government. Sector Seven. Ron: Never heard of it. Simmons: Never will. Your son's the great-grandson of Captain Archibald Wickity, is he not? Ron: It's Witwicky. Simmons: May I enter the premises, sir? Judy: Ron, there's guys all over the front yard. Ron: What the heck is going on here? Simmons: Your son filed a stolen car report last night. We think it's involved in a national security matter. Judy: They're ripping up my rose bushes! Ron: National security? Simmons: That's right. National security. Judy: My God, Ron, they're everywhere. There's guys in suits all around the house! Look at this! Ron: Could you stay off the grass? Simmons: Get me a sample and some isotope readings. Judy; They're pulling bushes out of the ground! Good Lord! They've got to get their hands off my bush! Simmons: Drop the bat, ma'am. Ron: Hey, hey, hey, that's my... Simmons: I'm carrying a loaded wapon. Judy; But you'd better get those guys out of my garden or I am gonna bat the crap out of them! Simmons: Are you experiencing any flu-like symptoms? Aching joints? Fever? Judy; No! Sam: What is this? Simmons: How you doing, son? Is your name Sam? Sam: Yeah. Simmons; Well, I need you to come with us. Ron: Whoa, way out of line. Simmons: Sir, I am asking politely. Ron: Back off. You're not taking my son. Really? Simmons: You gonna try to get rough with us? Ron: No, but I'm gonna call the cops because there's something fishy going on around here. Simmons: Yeah. There's something a little fishy about you, your son, your little Taco Bell dog and this whole operation you got going on here. Ron: What operation? Simmons: That is what we are gonna find out. I think direct contact. Simmons: Son? Sam: Yeah. Simmons: Step forward, please. Just stand? Fourteen rads. Bingo! Tag them and bag them! Judy: If you hurt my dog, I'll kick your ass! Get me a sample on that vegetation ASAP! Ron: Sam! Do not say anything, Sam! Sam: Yeah. Ron: Not a word until we get a lawyer! Simmons: So, LadiesMan217. That is your eBay username, right? Sam: Yeah, but, you know, it was a typo and I ran with it. Simmons: What do you make of this? Sam: My name is Sam Witwicky, okay? And my... Simmons: Is that you? Mikaela: Yeah, that sounds like LadiesMan. Simmons: Last night at the station, you told the officer your car transformed. - Enlighten me. Sam: Well, here's what I said, okay? 'Cause this is a total misunderstanding that my car had been stolen... Simmons: Really? ... Sam: from me, from my home, but it's fine now because it's back! It came back! Mikaela: Well, not by itself. Well, no. Because cars don't do that because that would be crazy. Simmons: That's funny. That is so funny. So what do you kids know about aliens, huh? Sam: Oh, you mean, like a Martian? Like what, E. T? No. Mikaela: It's an urban legend. Sam: Yeah. Simmons: You see this? This is an l-can-do-whatever-l-want and-get-away-with-it badge. Right. I'm gonna lock you up forever. Mikaela: Oh, God. You know what? Don't listen to him. He's just pissy 'cause he's got to get back to guarding the mall. Simmons: You, in the training bra, do not test me. Especially with your daddy's parole coming up. Sam: What? Parole? Mikaela: It's nothing. Simmons: Oh, grand theft auto, that ain't nothing? Mikaela: You know those cars my dad used to teach me to fix? Well, they... They weren't always his. Sam: You stole cars? Mikaela: Well, we couldn't always afford a babysitter, so sometimes he had to take me along. Simmons: She's got her own juvie record to prove it! She's a criminal. Criminals are hot. That'd be a real shame if he had to rot in jail the rest of his natural life. It is time to talk! Big! It's big! Go, go, go, go! I can't see it! I can't see it! Shift your weight towards the front! All right! All right! Sam: You A-holes are in trouble now. Gentlemen, I want to introduce you to my friend, Optimus Prime. Optimus: Taking the children was a bad move. Autobots, relieve them of their wapon. Jazz: Freeze! Whoa! Whoa! Jazz: Give me those! Whoa! Whoa! Simmons: Hi, there. Optimus: You don't seem afraid. Are you not surprised to see us? Simmons: Look, there are S-Seven protocols, okay? I'm not authorized to communicate with you except to tell you I can't communicate with you. Optimus: Get out of the car. Simmons: All right. Me? You want me to get... Optimus: Now! Simmons: All right, all right. Get out. Hey. All right, I'm... I'm getting out. I'm getting out. You see? Very nifty how you put us down without really klling us. Sam; You're good with handcuffs, too, now, huh? How you doing? Mikaela: You weren't supposed to hear all that. How's it going, huh? Simmons: Yeah. This is real. Now, listen. If I choose to engage with him, mum is the word, all right? Mikaela: Sam, I have a record because I wouldn't turn my dad in. When have you had to sacrifice anything in your perfect little life? Big guys. Big guys with big gn, huh? Sam: What is Sector Seven? Answer me. Simmons: I'm the one who asks questions around here. Not you, young man! Mikaela: How'd you know about the aliens? Sam: Where did you take my parents? I am not at liberty to discuss it. No? Simmons: Hey. You touch me, that's a federal offense. Sam: Do-whatever-you-want and-get-away-with-it badge, right? Simmons: Yeah. Brave now all of a sudden, with his big alien friend standing over there. Sam; Where is Sector Seven? Simmons: Wouldn't you like to know? Hey! Optimus: Bumblebee, stop lubricating the man. Simmons: Get that thing to stop, huh? Mikaela: All right, tough guy, take it off. Simmons: What are you talking about? Mikaela: Your clothes, all of it, off. Simmons: For what? Mikaela: For thrat my dad. Simmons: Little lady, this is the beginning of the end of your life. You're a criminal. Let's face facts. It's in your gene pool. Mikaela: Those are nice. Now get behind the pole. All right. Simmons: This is such a felony, what you're doing. - I will hunt you down, okay? Sector seven agent; He'll hunt you down. Without any remorse! Sector seven agent; No remorse. Enjoy. Okay? Simmons: We have got to alert everyone. Sector seven agent: They already know. Speaker. Ironhide; Optimus! Incoming! Optimus: Roll out. Sector seven agent: Okay, I'm picking up rad readings under that bridge right down there. Okay, I'm getting really good rad readings. Forty-two and higher. Optimus: Up you get. Sector seven agent; Okay, we're dropping in. Really strong readings right down below us. There he is. Ship one and two, come on in. That's it, right there. Mark him, mark him. Okay, there he is. 11:30. 11:30. Right off the nose. I got it. 12:00. Okay, I'm tracking him. I've got him. Got him going down the street. Okay. Where'd he go, guys? I lost him. Got no IR signature. Where'd he go? Okay, I lost him. I lost him. Okay, we're coming around. Optimus: Easy, you two. Mikaela: No! No! No, Sam! Sam, don't drop me! Sam, don't! Sam, don't! I'm slipping! I'm slipping! Sam: Hold on! Mikaela: No! Optimus: Sam! All right, we've got him pinned. We've got him pinned in the river. I'm in for the sht. Sam: Stop! Stop! Wait! No! - Take the sht, get him. Take the sht. Sam: No! No! Stop! Stop! Get down on the ground! Get down! Get down! Sam: What? Okay. Look, he's not fighting back! Freeze it! Freeze it! Freeze it! Sam; Stop hurting him! Don't let him move! I got him here! No! Simmons; Happy to see me again? Put him in a car with his little criminal friend. I want that thing frozen and ready for transport! Jazz: Hang back. Let me check it out. Optimus, are we just gonna stand here and do nothing? Optimus: There's no way to free Bumblebee without harming the humans. Jazz: But it's not right. He... Optimus: Let them leave. General: The Chinese and the Russians are nearing our area of operations in the western Pacific. We feel like this could get out of hand real fast. But the next couple of hours may just define his presidency. US and Chinese task forces approaching 100 nautical miles of cruise mssile range. Keller: Tell the strike group commander that he's not to engage unless fired on first. - Yes, sir! Tom: Mr. Secretary? Tom Banachek. I'm with Sector Seven, Advanced Research Division. Keller: Never heard of it. I'm a little busy, Tom. I think you can see that. What's going on here? I don't know. Sit rep! Talk to me! - The whole room's gone down, sir. Keller: I can see that! The virus was coded to shut us down. Tom: General? I'll take a seat. Keller: What do you mean, "shut us down"? They used our network to spread out to the whole world. The blackout's global. We have no communications, satellite and land lines are dad. Keller: You mean to tell me that I cannot pick up this telephone and call my family? Tom: Mr. Secretary? I'm here under direct order from the President. You really need to see what I have in the case. You'll have to accept that there are certain things you won't understand right away. Sector Seven is a special-access division of the government convened in secret under President Hoover 80 years ago. You may remember NASA JPL lost the Beagle 2 Mars Rover. We told them to report the mission a complete failure. It wasn't. Beagle 2 transmitted 13 seconds. This was classified above top secret. EDA ended at 170 hours, 48 minutes. Tom: More than just a pile of Martian rocks. This is the image from Mars. Here's the image your Special Ops team was able to retrieve from the base attck. We believe they are of the same exoskeletal type, and obviously not Russian or North Korean. Keller: Are we talking about an invasion? Tom; We intercepted the message from your Special Ops team. These things can be hurt by our wapon and now they know it. That's why the virus shut us down, so we can't coordinate against their next attck, which I would bet my ridiculous government salary is coming soon. Keller: Get word to our fleet commanders over the National Guard frequency. It's a shortwave radio channel. It might be still working. Tell them to turn their ships around and come home. ASAP! And inform all commands to prepare for imminent attck. Captain Lennox, we need you and your team to come with us right now! Let's go! She's in here. Maggie; What's going on? Keller; You're coming with me. - You're going to be my advisor Glen: Me, too? Keller: Who's this? Maggie: He's my advisor. Keller: He comes, too. Maggie: So... What'd they get you for? Sam: I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot. Wow. Who knew? Optimus: Please, let this work. Jazz: fre it up, Optimus. Optimus: The code. The code on these glasses indicates the All Spark is 230 miles from here. Ratchet; I sense the Decepticons are getting ready to mobilize. Ironhide: They must know it's here, as well. Jazz: What about Bumblebee? We can't just leave him to die and become some human experiment! Optimus: He'll die in vain if we don't accomplish our mission. Bumblebee is a brave soldier. This is what he would want. Ironhide; Why are we fighting to save the humans? They're a primitive and violent race. Optimus; Were we so different? They're a young species. They have much to learn. But I've seen goodness in them. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. You all know there's only one way to end this wr. We must destroy the Cube. If all else fails, I will unite it with the spark in my chest. Ratchet: That's su1c1de. The Cube is raw power. It could destroy you both. Optimus: A necessary sacrifice to bring peace to this planet. We cannot let the humans pay for our mistakes. It's been an honor serving with you all. - Autobots, roll out! Jazz: We rolling! Lennox ; Team attention! Present arms! Keller: At ease. Captain, Sergeant. Got your intel. Excellent work. Lennox: Thank you, sir. What about the gn? Keller: They're being retrofitted with sabot rounds now. If they ht us again, we'll be ready for them. But it won't do us much good if we can't get world communications back up. Simmons: Hey, kid. I think we got off to a bad start, huh? You must be hungry? You want a latte? HoHo? Double venti macchiato? Sam: Where's my car? Tom: Son, I need you to listen to me very carefully. People can die here. We need to know everything you know. We need to know it now. Sam: Okay. But first, I'll take my car, my parents. Maybe you should write that down. Oh, and her juvie record. That's got to be gone. Like, forever. Tom: Come with me. We'll talk about your car. Mikaela: Thank you. Simmons: The man's an extortionist. All right, here's the situation. You've all had direct contact with the NBEs. Epps: NBEs? Simmons: Non-Biological Extraterrestrials. Try and keep up with the acronyms. What you're about to see is totally classified. Keller: Dear God. What is this? Tom: We think when he made his approach over the north pole, our gravitational field screwed up his telemetry. He crashed in the ice, probably a few thousand years ago. We shipped him here to this facility in 1934. Simmons: We call him NBE One. Sam: Well, sir, I don't mean to correct you on everything you think you know, but, I mean, that's Megatron. He's the leader of the Decepticons. Tom: He's been in cryostasis since 1935. Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind. Simmons: Fact is, you're looking at the source of the modern age, the microchip, lasers, spaceflight, cars, all reverse-engineered by studying him. NBE One. That's what we call it. Keller; And you didn't think the United States military might need to know that you're keeping a hostile alien robot frozen in the basement? Until these events, we had no credible thrat to national security. Well, you got one now. Lennox: So why Earth? Sam: It's the All Spark. Tom: All Spark? What is that? Sam; Well, yeah, they came here looking for some sort of cube-Iooking thing. Anyway, Mr. NBE One here, AKA Megatron, that's what they call him, who's pretty much the harbinger of death, wants to use the Cube to transform human technology to take over the universe. That's their plan. Simmons: And you're sure about that? Sam: Yeah. You guys know where it is, don't you? Tom: Follow me. Simmons: You're about to see our crown jewel. Tom: Carbon dating puts the Cube here around 10,000 BC. The first Seven didn't find it until 1913. They knew it was alien because of the matching hieroglyphics on the Cube as well as NBE One. President Hoover had the dam built around it. Four football fields thick of concrete. A perfect way to hide its energy from being detected by anyone or any alien species on the outside. Maggie: Wait, back up. You said the dam hides the Cube's energy. What kind exactly? Tom: Good question. Please step inside. They have to lock us in. Glen: Oh, wow. Epps: What's that? Freddy Krueger done been up in here or something? Glen; Oh, no, man. Freddy Krueger have four blades, man. That's only three. That's Wolverine! Right? That's Wolverine! Simmons: That's very funny. Anybody have any mechanical devices? BlackBerry? Key alarm? Cell phone? Glen: I got a phone. Simmons; Nokias are real nasty. You've got to respect the Japanese. They know the way of the samurai. Maggie: Nokia's from Finland. Keller: Yes, but he's, you know, a little strange. He's a little strange. Simmons: We're able to take the Cube radiation and funnel it into that box. - Mean little sucker, huh? Maggie: That thing is freaky! Simmons: Kind of like the itty-bitty Energizer Bunny from hell, huh? He's breaking the box. Go! Go! Go! Move! Keller: Gentlemen, they know the Cube is here. Tom: Banachek. What's going on? Well, the NBE One hangar has lost power... Tom: What? ... and the backup generator - is just not gonna cut it. Lennox: Do you have an arms room? Frenzy; Megatron! Megatron! Megatron! I'll bring security to the... Tom: Get everyone to the NBE One chamber now! The lights are out! Move it! Move it! Let's go! Tom: They're popping our generators! Frenzy; Megatron melting! 16502. We're losing pressure. Stand by! Set! We're losing pressure! The cryogenic system is failing! We're losing NBE One! Soldier: Forty millimeter sabot rounds on that table! That's good. Get all the amo you got. Everything you can carry. Bring it. Sam: You got to take me to my car. You have to take me to my car. He's gonna know what to do with the Cube. Simmons: Your car? It's confiscated. Sam: Then unconfiscate it. We do not know what will happen if we let it near this thing! Sam: You don't know. Simmons:Maybe you know, but I don't know. You just wanna sit here and wait and see what happens? I have people's lives at stake here, young man. Lennox; Take him to his car! Simmons: Drop it. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Drop your wapon, soldier. There's an alien wr going on and you're gonna sht me? Lennox: You know, we didn't ask to be here. I'm ordering you under S-Seven executive jurisdiction. Epps: S-Seven don't exist. Lennox: Right. And we don't take orders from people that don't exist. Simmons: I'm gonna count to five. Lennox; Okay. Well, I'm gonna count to three. - Simmons? Simmons: Yes, sir? Keller: I'd do what he says. Losing's really not an option for these guys. All right. Okay. Hey, you want to lay the fate of the world on the kid's Camaro? That's cool. No, no! Sam; Stop! You got to stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Tom: No, no, stop, stop, stop! Sam: Let him go! Let him go! Are you okay? They didn't hurt you, right? Listen to me. The Cube is here and the Decepticons are coming. No, no, don't worry about them. They're okay. Right? They're not gonna hurt you. Just back up a little bit. He's friendly. He's fine. Okay, come on. Put the gn down. They're not gonna hurt you. Here, come with me. I'm gonna take you to the All Spark. Epps: Okay, here we go. He doing something. He doing something. Mikaela: Oh, my God. Message from Starfleet, Captain. Let's get to it. Lennox: He's right. We stay here, we're screwed with Megatron in the other hangar. Mission City is 22 miles away. We're gonna sneak that Cube out of here and we're gonna hide it somewhere in the city. Good! Right. But we cannot make a stand without the Air Force. Keller: This place must have some kind of radio link! - Yes. Keller; Shortwave, CB. Right, yes. Sir, you got to figure out some way to get word out to them. Let's move! Simmons: In the alien archive, sir! The alien... There's an old Army radio console. Will it work? Simmons: Anything's possible! - Did you see that... All right, Sam, get it in the car! Lennox: Mr. Secretary! Get our birds in the air. When we get to the city, we're gonna find a radio, and I'll have Epps vector them in, okay? Affirmative! Warning! NBE One cryo-containment failing. Check that backup system! The cryo's failing! You got to bump up the cryo! The cryo's failing! Come on! Get out of here! Heads up! Look out! Set a perimeter around the yellow vehicle! - This way, this way, this way! Up there! Let's go! Megatron: I am Megatron! Sam: The Cube's okay? Mikaela: Yeah, it's fine. Sam: Well, put the seat belt on. Pour it on him! Starscream: I live to serve you, Lord Megatron. Megatron: Where is the Cube? Starscream: The humans have taken it. Megatron: You fail me yet again, Starscream. Get them! Come on, Mags! Over here, sir! Simmons: Give me a minute. Give me a minute. Come to me, Maxwell, come to me. Plugged in there. We're hot! We're live! Glen: Where are the mikes? Mikes? Glen: This doesn't work without mikes, Simmons. Simmons: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Keller; Let's find them. Kid, get in the chair! Just get in the chair, all right? Glen: Okay, I'll sit. I'll sit. They steal everything out of this place. Glen: How do we get the signal out? How do we call the Air Force? Maggie: Glen? Glen: Huh? Maggie: Can you hotwire this computer to transmit a tone through the radio? Glen: What good is that? Maggie; Morse code! You can use this to transmit it through that! Glen: Okay, I'll do it! Turn it around. Okay, let's see. Simmons, I need a screwdriver! Sam: There's Optimus. Almost done. Simmons; What the hell was that? Keller: Barricade the door! Get something. Watch out! Glen: Six, five, four, six, three. Here! Put some rounds in! Glen; Master search. I got it! We're transmitting! Keller: Send exactly what I say! Simmons: Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Burn, you little sucker! Burn! Keller; "This is Defense Secretary Keller. Get me NORTHCOM commander." Glen; Whoa! Whoa! What was that? Keller: Authenticate emergency action. Blackbird 1195... Sir, I have an authenticated air strike order from Sec Def. Sam: No, no, no, no, no. Mikaela: What? Sam: It's the same cop! Block them, block them, block them. Mikaela: Oh, my God. Kid: Cool, Mom! Simmons: This is so not good. Maggie: He's behind the pillar! Glen: sh*t that mother... Simmons: Maggie, cover fre! Glen: It's the Air Force! They're responding! Simmons: Sucker, burn! Frenzy: Oh, shit! Glen; Yes! They're sending F-22s to the city! Air force: Raptors, let's scramble, scramble, scramble. Strike and Dark Star roll call. Looking out the right side. Push to kll Box One Alpha... Lennox: Come on, let's go! Mount up! Move out! Move out! Go! Go! Here, I got shortwave radios. Epps: Wait. What am I supposed to do with these? Lennox: Well, use them! It's all we got! Epps: This is like RadioShack dinosaur radios or something, man. I'm only gonna get 20 or 30 miles out of these things. Are there any aircraft orbiting the city? Lennox: F-22 at 12:00. All right, I want planes for air cover and get Black Hawks on station to extract that Cube. You got it? Air Force has arrived! Pop smoke! Epps: Raptor, Raptor, do you copy? We have you visual. Green smoke is the mark. Provide air cover and vector Black Hawks for extraction. Ironhide: It's Starscream! Epps: Please tell me you copy. Ironhide: Back up! Take cover! Bumblebee! Lennox: No, no, no, no, no! Move! Ironhide: Back up! Back up! Lennox: Retreat! Fall back! Incoming! Sam; Anybody hurt? Everyone okay? Clear the area! Sam: Oh, my God. Bumblebee? No. Your legs! Your legs. Here. Here, back, back, back, back! You all right? Please get up. Bumblebee? Get up! Ratchet! Lennox: What the hell was that? Epps: What are you talking about? Lennox; What do you mean, what am I talking about? They sht at us! Epps: F-22 pilots would never fly below buildings. That's alien. That ain't friendly! Sam: You got to get up. You're okay. You're okay. Come on! Army Black Hawk inbound to your location. Over. Epps: Alpha 273 degrees, 10 miles. November Victor, 1.2 clicks north. Lennox: Move out! Let's go! Let's go! Move! Sam: I'm not gonna leave you. Jazz: Come on, Decepticon punk! Oh, my God! Lennox: Concentrate your fre! Mikaela: Come on. Come on. Megatron! Ratchet; It's Megatron! Retreat! Move! Fall back! Lennox;,Fall back! Get our guys out of the way! Get out of here! Go! Get them out of the buggy! Move out! We need air cover down here now! Mikaela: Sam, help me with this. Jazz: That all you got, Megatron? Megatron; Come here, little cretin. Jazz: You want a piece of me? You want a piece? Megatron: No! I want two! Lennox: What's going on? Sir! That tnk thing's getting back up. Lennox: Oh, these things just don't die. Oh, we're so dad. Wrap it around the head. Lennox: Sam! Where's the Cube? Sam; Right there. Okay. And take that and wrap it around the base and then put it around his neck. Lennox: Okay? Epps, get those Black Hawks here! That building. Okay. Sam: What? Lennox:All right, I can't leave my guys back there, so here, take this flare. Okay, there's a tall, white building with statues on top. Go to the roof. Set the flare. Sam; No. Lennox: Signal the chopper and set the flare. Sam: No, no. I can't do this! Lennox: Listen to me! You're a soldier now! All right? I need you to take this Cube. Get it into military hands while we hold them off, or a lot of people are gonna die. - You got to go. You got to go. Mikaela: No, I'm not leaving. Lennox: You need to go. Go. Mikaela: No, I'm not leaving till I get Bumblebee out of here, okay? Army Black Hawk requested. Immediate evac for civilian boy with precious cargo. Headed to rooftop marked by flare. Ironhide: Sam, we will protect you. Sam: Okay. Lennox: Epps, where are those planes? Mikaela: Sam! No matter what happens, I'm really glad I got in that car with you. Sam! Get to the building! Move! - Decepticons, attck! Epps: ht it! Cover fre! Move to cover! Watch out! Lennox: Girl, get that tow truck out of here! I'm going! I'm going! Get out of here now! Optimus: Megatron! Megatron: Prime. Humans don't deserve to live. Optimus; They deserve to choose for themselves. Megatron; Then you will die with them! Join them in extinction! Ironhide: Keep moving, Sam! Don't stop! No! Sam, get to the building! Megatron: Give me that Cube, boy! Socialite: Did that jerk just dent my car? Sam: You're not gonna get me. You're not gonna get me! Megatron:I smell you, boy! Maggot! Oh, no! Mikaela: I'll drive! You sht! Lennox: This isn't going well! Mikaela: sht! sh*t! Nice sht. That tnk is definitely dad now. Lennox: All right, let's go! We got business! Sam: Hey! Hey! I'm over here! Pilot; We've got the boy. Sam; Watch out! mssile! Optimus: Hang on, Sam! Sam: No! No! Megatron: Is it fear or courage that compels you, fleshling? Sam; Where do I go? Megatron: Give me the All Spark and you may live to be my pet. Sam: Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm never giving you this All Spark! Megatron: Oh, so unwise. Optimus: I got you, boy. Hold on to the Cube! - Oh, no. Oh, no! Megatron; Disgusting. Optimus: Sam? You risked your life to protect the Cube. Sam; No sacrifice, - no victory. Optimus: If I cannot defeat Megatron, you must push the Cube into my chest. I will sacrifice myself to destroy it. Get behind me. It's you and me, Megatron. Megatron: No, it's just me, Prime. Optimus: At the end of this day, one shall stand, one shall fall. Megatron: You still fight for the weak! That is why you lose! Epps: Fighter jets in 60 seconds. We got friendlies mixed with bad guys. Targets will be marked. Lennox: Hey. Bring the rain. All right? All right, let's kll these things. - Move, move, move! Remember, aim low. Armor's weak under the chest. Epps: Target marked. Still waiting. Time on target, 20 seconds. Epps: F-22s, we're still waiting. Move out! Incoming! F 22 Pilot: wapon armed. Status green. Run! Move! Second wave's on approach. What is that? Break off! - Copy. It's either a massive amount of... Two, get a lock! Pop that guy! Stay on him. Keep him in your sights. Lennox: Take him out! Two's down! Megatron: I'll kll you! Mine! All Spark! Optimus: Sam! Put the Cube in my chest! Now! Sam! No, Sam! Hold up. You left me no choice, brother. Sam, I owe you my life. We are in your debt. Ironhide: Prime, we couldn't save him. Optimus: Jazz. We lost a great comrade but gained new ones. Thank you, all of you. You honor us with your bravery. Bumblebee: Permission to speak, sir? Optimus: Permission granted, old friend. Sam: You speak now? Bumblebee: I wish to stay with the boy. Optimus: If that is his choice. Sam: Yes. Keller: Gentlemen, the President has ordered Sector Seven be terminated and the remains of the d*ad aliens disposed of. The Laurentian Abyss is seven miles below sea level, deepest place on our planet. The massive depth and pressure there, coupled with subfreezing temperatures, would crush and entomb them, leaving no evidence. Optimus: With the All Spark gone, we cannot return life to our planet. And fate has yielded its reward, a new world to call home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage. And though we are worlds apart, like us, there's more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars. We are here. We are waiting. Reporter: Can you shed any light on the recent, so-called alien activity in the area? Judy: Do you know what? I think that if there was some sort of an alien infestation... Ron: Yeah. They, the government, would be the first to let you know. Judy: The government would let us know. Ron: I mean, this is America. Yeah. Judy: You know, that's how we know we live in a free land, because there's no secrets. They'd say, "Hey! Duck and cover." Your head is kind of a different size than it is on television.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Transformers (2007)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
Marianne: Adonis Young Dame: Thought you got scared, about to roll without you? Hey Donnie, this way Yo, they should be expecting us Young Dame: What’s the deal? You got me next? I got you champ Girl; Hey Dame who’s your friend? Young Donnie: My name’s Donnie, nice to meet you? How you doing? Young Dame: Plenty of time for that Young Donnie: Right hand , unorthodox, first Cassius to knock you out , you got a nice jab, he overreaches, tore his shoulder playing football for Paly Young Dame: Make him miss First round knock out Watch That jab, keep that guard up Young Dame: Yeah boy, what’d I tell you! What’d I tell you! That straight right , that’s the perfect punch Young Donnie: You played him to sleep Young Dame: First thing I’m gonna do , get one of those big diamonds , got something for you too little homie Young Donnie: Appreciate you, I got you something, was my Dad’s , original Young Dame: I’m gonna get there one day , make nationals, bring home the gold in the Olympics then turn pro, you’ll be right there with me, someone’s gotta carry my bags Young Donnie: Why you gotta play with me like that? Young Donnie: Leon ? You don’t remember me do you? Leon: I don’t Young Donnie: Not so little now! Todd Grisham: Battling an old rival in what Creed has said will be his final fight Is Conlan looking this good or Creed looking this bad? Creed ‘s gotta do something fast or he’s gonna end his historic career with another loss to Conlon Duke: Only bat you worse than last time , what you smiling about? Am I missing something? Something funny? Adonis: Checkmate Jessica: What a way to go out New unified heavyweight champion For the first time in two decades Adonis: What’s up? Amara: You forgot didn’t you? Adonis: Forgot what? Five minutes Amara: Dad you promised Adonis: Would you like some more tea? Amara: Yes kind sir Bianca: Thank you for all you’ve done, you get her to bed? Adonis: I had to bribe her with like six scoops of ice cream, dont know how she’s gonna get to sleep Bianca: Retirement’s made you soft, a few scoops yourself? Take that off before it stains Adonis: I see what you’re trying to do, get me naked Bianca: Definitely not trying Adonis: Own it, still hot? Still warm? Bianca: I’m working Adonis: I’m working too Bianca: I got fifteen minutes Adonis: How bout twelve? Adonis: It’s not just about power, timing, speed Duke: You telling me? Felix: Champ wanna go a few rounds? Adonis: And mess up the suit? We trying to get you paid, cant get you paid if you keep knocking out your sparring partners , you got Drago in four weeks, we know you got power, it’s not just about how hard you can ht, you’re the champ, listen to Duke Duke: You hear those three words, not I love you, not take it easy, listen to Duke Adonis: I know Drago’s got the bigger name but Felix has got the belt, his splits gotta be bigger, I’m gonna have to call you back Can I help you? Dame: Can I have an autograph? Adonis: I aint signing no autographs, you can get off my car Dame: You dont remember me do you? Adonis: Dame? You got me, Damian Dame: Got down to the hood, stop by the old gym Adonis: We upgraded a couple years ago Dame: I dont want to take up your time, Just came to tell you what’s good, if you want to catch up, let me know Adonis: Where you heading now? Dame: The crib Adonis: Time to get some grub Dame: Surprised you still come down here, eat with the common folk Adonis: I do when I can , a lot of things I can’t anymore, I used to Easy, easy Dame: You know how long it’s been since I had this shit? Adonis: How long? Dame: Eighteen years You been there this whole time? Dame: I wrote you a few times Adonis: You did? Where’d you send them? Dame: Mama Creed’s , still up there in Bel Air? Adonis: She’s still there, Same house , never got them Dame: Remember some of the moves I taught you Adonis: You know what I remember? You knocking my ass out? Dame; I helped your big head up, remember that? What’s the program? Dame: Same program the last time you saw me, I wanna be champ Adonis: You still wanna box? Dame: Kept myself in shape Got some moves you never seen before , gas in the tnk, got that chain, can’t be Diamond Dame looking bumly Adonis; You need anything, what am I talking about? You just came home Dame: I’m situated , don’ t need to receive no handout Adonis: Didn’t mean it like that Adonis: Get you set up with Duke Adonis: What’s so funny? Bianca: Convincing your Mum to move in so I can have a live in brand Adonis: Not a bad idea How you doing mum? Marianne: I’m good, I’d be better if my son was on time for dinner Adonis: I got caught up Marianne: You gonna have your hands full with that one Bianca: We already do Mary Anne: She’s the best You’re the worst Adonis: You don’t mean it Adonis: Is that a good idea? Marianne: We are not doing this tonight , let’s be straight, so everybody knows, I’m not leaving my house Adonis: We’re just worried about you Marianne: I am not having another stroke tonight maybe tomorrow night Adonis: That’s not funny Bianca; It’s kind of funny Adonis: You’re not helping Where were you? Adonis: I saw Dame Marianne: Damian? Adonis: Why’s this kid picking on her? I’m just asking Bianca: D , sign She probably wants attention Adonis: Why is my daughter in trouble and this kid isnt? Bianca: Obviously we’re worried about Amaya, Being comfortable is important, we understand fighting isn’t the way to handle things We love Amara, she’s an academically exceptional child, she just fights Bianca: You wanna teach her how to fight? That’s your advice Donnie: I didnt think I had to at a deaf school like that Bianca: What’s that supposed to mean? Deaf school like that? Adonis: Needs to know how to protect herself Bianca; I’m not saying she shouldn’t know how to protect herself Adonis: Protect herself, somewhere she’s supposed to be safe but isn’t As parents we have to access her emotions Adonis: Amara’s supposed to hold hands with this bully? That’s not real life Bianca: I know that worked for you, Now that you don’t have that as an outlet, try talking or get a hobby Adonis: I’ll get a hobby , you, come down to the studio and start laying tracks with you Bianca: That’s not funny The solution to everything isn’t a punch to the face Adonis: It isn’t, sometimes it is Duke: Could have asked me, this ain’t a charity, homie’s older than you Adonis: Just giving him a break, isn’t that what we do? Duke: No, this ain’t a YMCA Adonis: Nobody’s lining up to get in the ring with Felix, I’m just saying let him spar, we got zero bodies , aint nobody want to fight Felix Felix: You trying to hurt me? Dame: Little man aint like that Felix: Who you calling little man? Duke: No you don’t got it, I told you this was a mistake! Got a chip on his shoulder, this was a mistake! Dame: Don’t get quiet now Duke Dame: I asked where the black family lives Bianca: There are others around Dame: I ain’t see none Adonis: You never brought me flowers Dame: Want me to give you a kiss Got those see through stairs Adonis: Amara Dame: Amara Adonis: Nice to meet you Dame: Nice to meet you Bianca: She says you too Dame: This square is married to a genuine rock star, how many gold records you got? Bianca: A few, mostly artists I produced Dame: She produces , you’re punching up, when’s your next show miss producer? Bianca: I don’t perform like that anymore , i took a break , i was having issues with my hearing onstage , preserve what I have left So how long you known each other? Dame : Go way back , we was like brothers , before went all Hollywood, shared a room at the gym The group home , remember the bed bugs Adonis: I try to forget Bianca: I’m going to bed, tell him he’s invited to the label party Dame: I heard that, I’m invited Dame: Used to love coming to the hood, now you all domesticated Adonis: See what happens when you get married The women run this house, i just live here Dame: You traded it all in for a monkey suit Adonis: A suit has advantages, You say that like I got soft, like i dont still have the sneak attck Dame: Champ’s still got pepper Adonis: I left boxing, boxing didn’t leave me Dame: I didn’t get it together to be a punching bag for some chump Adonis: Don’t sleep on Felix , did it the hard way, he earned it Dame: Eighteen years the hard way , took your name, gave you a number , i told you i want to bat him Adonis; I want to help you like I said I did Dame: Maybe I didn’t make myself clear, i want a title sht Adonis: It doesn’t work like that, you think i can snap my fingers and make you contender overnight Dame: Ain’t that what happened with you? If Apollo Creed can take a chance on an underdog Why can’t you? Bianca: You sleep alright? You were grinding your teeth Why’d you never tell me about the group home? Adonis: Nothing to say Bianca: How old were you? Adonis: I was around Amara’s age Bianca: You don’t want to talk about it Adonis: Dame wants to fight Felix Bianca: For real? What’d you say? Adonis: I told him no, impossible, Some people wait their whole life for a sht , Dame’s not even a pro Bianca: Why’s it look like you’re still considering it? Why didn’t you tell me about me about the group home? Adonis: Not much to tell Adonis: What you up to rascal? Amara: I was cleaning Adonis: That’s not what Uncle Duke said Amara: I don’t want to get in trouble , i know mum doesn’t want me to fight Adonis: It’ll be our little secret That’s a straight right , who taught you that? Amara: You, how you bat Conlan Adonis: You watched that? Dame; You look alright Adonis: You too Adonis; I’m going to make sure that’s the fight of the year You alright? Dame: I don’t need for you to babysit me Victor Drago; You ready? Felix; I’m always ready, don’t need to ask me Adonis: Save it for Fight night, we got the money, we got the venue, gonna break records Bianca: Send me the tracks, I can’t wait to hear them, so nice to meet you, congratulations by the way You made it, tired of working the room Dame: Don king over there Bianca: Minus the hair , growth for him, he used to hate coming to these things Dame: What’s it like? Having someone else sing your song? Bianca: Good, If it’s gonna be someone, not bad Dame: I almost believe you Bianca: Can I ask you something? Dame: You wanna know about how I got locked up, It’s a boring story really , I got arrested, few priors, dude got bumped, I aint saying he dont deserve it, not saying I didn’t deserve it Bianca: Who is this dude? Dame: Leon, I’ll leave Donnie the rest to tell you Adonis: We’re not changing anything, he’s with a specialist, six months, I understand, I understand, just don’t change the date Mrs Chavez: It’s not just about finding another fighter He wants to fight Drago, he wants to get paid, he can’t wait six months for him to get cleared, these windows dont last forever Adonis: Outside of Drago, one , two fighters, Ortiz, Aspartino and he’s recovering from his last fight Felix: What did you have in mind? Duke: He wants you to fight Damian Felix: Damian isn’t even a real fighter Adonis: Was real enough when he was sparring with you Mrs Chavez: You dont like it? Duke; He’s fighting the world and wants to hurt people, it’ll be a circus, no I don’t like it Mrs Chavez: Will people watch? Adonis: People will turn up, everyone loves an underdog story , you know how many tuned in when Rocky fought Apollo? people are still talking about that fight today Felix: Tell your boy I’m going to bat his ass in that ring Adonis; What I need from you is to do your job Voice : Taking over the famed Delphi gym with partner Lil Duke Burton, Adonis Creed is mentoring and training the next generation of boxing legends The brightest jewel in the Creed Athletics crown is Felix Chavez Felix: My mum and I want to build our own legacy Adonis Creed is staking his reputation and legacy on unknown opponent Dame: Before I got locked up, I was the highest ranked amateur ever He was behind bars for almost two decades, he’s a former golden glove champion Dame: Longest hiatus in the history of boxing, I’m back Voice: The history of two fighters is on the line Creed Athletics is promoting the surprise fight of the year Will it be a Cinderella story or another notch on the champions belt? Felix Chavez against a virtually unknown opponent Is he that special? His first professional fight, he gets a title sht It all hinges on Adonis Creed Anderson showing good movement What an awkward punch, that looked deliberate Duke; Fight the fighter, I’ll fight the ref Trainer: First fight, already got bruises on your face Duke: I know what I’m doing Lucky for Chavez, that cut is so below his right eye Referee; Two point deduction, elbow, keep this up, you’re gonna get disqualified Mrs chavez: There’s no such thing as defeat Chavez isn’t getting back up, you don’t want to see that, Chavez is down and seems to be badly hurt Winner by way of spectacular knock out and new unified heavyweight champion of the world Adonis: I can fix this Duke: Aint no fixing this, stay away from the gym! Stay away for a while Mary Anne: How’s Felix? Apollo: Still at the hospital, get out of there, give him some space Mary Anne: Good idea Adonis: What’s this? Mary Anne: From Damian Adonis: You kept these from me? Mary Anne; To help you move on, I did , I was protecting you Adonis: From what? He was my brother Mary Anne: Not in That facility where they kept you caged like am animal, you think I was going to let you go back to that? Adonis: You made me think I abandoned him , you know what we went through? Mary Anne; I know that man the two of you bat up Adonis: You know Leon ? Than you know he had my back before you even knew who I was, He treated me better than the two kids in this house ever did! You took that from me! None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you ! Mary Anne: None of it, there might have been a time Damian had your back but that’s not what he’s doing now Adonis: Get off me! Adonis: You playing me this whole time? Why’d you lie to me? I vouched for you, put money up for you, brought you into my house, you met my family, i put the gloves on your hand Dame: You put the gloves on my hand? You must be punchy, if memory serves, you used to carry my gloves Adonis: Get your shit , get out of the gym Dame: You think I need you? I needed you when I was in jail, when I came home, I needed you, you turned your back on me, I’m the champ Run away, one thing you’re still good at Baby Creed Adonis: What’d you call me? Dame: Whole life in a cell watching someone else live your life, remember this? Remember this title? I’m just getting started, I’m coming for it all Adonis: You thrat me? Dame: No thrat here homie, only promises bro, get yourself up for once , see how it feels Bianca: You didn’t get messages from me this morning, what happened to your eye? Adonis: Nothing Adonis: I aint got time for a therapy session Bianca; What do you have time for? Because I’ve been trying to talk to you for a really long time , will you please tell me what’s going on? Is it me? Adonis: It’s got nothing to do with you Bianca: Is it Leon? Adonis: How do you know that name? Bianca: From Dame Adonis: What you want to hear? A sad story? Feel sorry for me? Bianca: You have to open up for once Adonis: There’s nothing to talk about Bianca: I’m just trying to understand In this house Adonis: It’s dad, leave it, let it lie! I don’t want to think about that shit anymore Bianca: You need to get your shit together, what can’t happen is she sees you like this Adonis: I love you Bianca: Its Mum, she had another stroke, they’re saying multiple organ failure, it’s time to say goodbye Adonis: I’m sorry Marianne: The first time I met you, that face, You were so mad, was going to knock everyone out one by one, like your father, that’s why he fought so hard but you don’t have to I was so angry when you left me Apollo, when you left me alone Adonis was his name, he saved me helped me to forgive you Apollo Adonis: I’m sorry Bianca: I know, it’s okay Adonis: No it’s not, When Dame came back, all this shit came back too, I didn’t know how to handle it, you do, it comes to you, it’s easy for you Bianca: It doesn’t come easy for me, there’s a lot of things I have’t figured out, Mary Anne was the closest thing I had to a Mum in a long time , I could talk to her, now she’s gone, when I stopped performing, it was really hard for me to accept my dreams hadn’t turned out the way I imagined , happy with what I had Adonis: Leon was the Dad at the group home, I’m not saying me and Dame were angels, no kid deserves to get bat on like we did , I saw Leon, I snapped, i ht him, kept hitting him, his boys jumped me, Dame pulled gn, the cops pulled up, I tried to run, Dame got caught, I got away Bianca: Dame had a gn, that’s not on you , you were kids, you were scared Adonis: I didn’t reach out to him , i didn’t write, I didn’t call Bianca: It’s not on you his life turned out the way it did Adonis: Easier to forget, act like it didn’t happen Bianca; You have got to believe so you begin to believe you deserve the life you earned Adonis: There’s only one way Dame’s gonna listen Bianca: If that’s what you gotta do Stephen A Smith: You asked to be on this show which you’ve never done before , what’s on your mind? Adonis: When I walked away from boxing, I walked away with unfinished business Stephen A Smith: You gotta be talking about Dame, gotta be, let’s get that out of the way You are the best pound for pound boxer three years ago, it’s been a minute since you been in the streets , what Dame is saying about you? Conlan was beyond his prime, Dame’s the next king of boxing He’s talking dirty and unapologetically to anyone who will listen, he’s questioning your manhood, talking about your family , saying you can’t be trusted, you’ll run out on your boys Dame: What’s up little homie? You want a tissue? Want me to come in there and give you a hug? Adonis: Not here , this isn’t the way to handle it Dame: Bad news bro, It’s live, this is how we handling it now, I’m just telling everyone the truth, Donnie ain’t gonna do nothing, he’s a coward, you’re a coward, you’re a fraud, Apollo would be ashamed Adonis: You’ve lost it, I’m challenging you for the Heavyweight championship of the world Dame: You and me? Duke: Fractured five and six meta carpels Remind me how many concussions you got? You’re old, we can’t turn back the clock, we can’t hide your flaws but we can turn them into strengths Dame: He’s retired, he dont got it no more, probably wont even make weight Adonis: How’s the? But you’re good? Victor Drago: Good enough to bat you Dame: You can go home Duke: Look at that man in the mirror? Remember him? Block out everything else, focus on the present, not the past, not the future, right now Diamante: Welcome to the battle of los angeles, highest anticipated heavyweight bout in years Damian Diamante: Welcome to the battle of Los Angeles, the fight starts now, First the challenger Fighting out of the Delphi gym Proudly representing his hometown of Los Angeles at 26 wins and 1 loss, former lightweight and heavyweight champion Adonis Creed! And across from me representing the Crimshaw district of Los Angeles , the reigning and defending undefeated and unified Heavyweight champion of the world “ Diamond “ Damian Anderson The intensity is like nothing I’ve ever seen Todd Grisham: You can feel the bad blood from each other in this battle of los angeles Todd Grisham: Both fighters sizing each other up Nice jab to the face landed, Creed ties him up I’d give that round to Anderson with an impressive start Dame: I’ll see you in a minute Adonis: Don’t worry, I’ll be right back You gotta wonder if Adonis creed is regretting his decision, retirement seems like it would be a lot more fun Duke: He”ll fight dirty, keep your head on your shoulders, he’ll start making mistakes, he’ll make a lot of them , wait for that opening What did we just witness, an incredible end to the eleventh round Both fighters landing tremendous blows History spilling into the ring, an emotionally draining wr Dame’s trainer: Do what we came here to do Duke: Let go of the fear, let go of the guilt, let go of whatever was dawg and welcome what is, go out there and be ferocious , go out there and be Adonis Creed Damian Diamante: This contest ends at two minutes and twelve seconds of the twelfth and final round, once again Heavyweight champion of the world , Apollo Creed! Todd Grisham; If there was ever any question who the king of boxing is, let there be no doubt the creed dynasty reigns supreme Dame: I guess you did learn a few moves without me Adonis: I’m sorry I didnt check up on you , that’s on me Dame: We was just… kids , that wasn’t on you , none of it Adonis; It’s not on you either Dame: Come on, family and everyone waiting on you champ You know where to find me Bianca: She’s been waiting all night for this Adonis: Looks pretty good in there Bianca; You alright? Adonis; I’m better now	{"type": "movie", "show": "Creed 3 (2023)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
bunniefuu wrote: ↑ Guard: Boys, let's go. Come on, tighten up. Single file, gentlemen. Center of the hall. Come on, tighten it up. - Condition unit one! Condition unit one, copy that. On the ground. Show me hands, let's go. Hands! PA: Code blue! Fight in progress! Young Adonis: Come on, let's fight, man! Let him go! At least let me get my shoes. Mary Anne. Mary Anne: Hello. Thank you. Adonis got into a fight today, and he's in holding. If you wanna see him, we're gonna have to go up there. He's a good kid, he just... Mary Anne: Fights. Social worker: All the time. Johnson? Social worker: Yeah. Right this way. Thanks. Johnson, got a visitor. Social worker: Adonis. Come on in. I'd like you to meet Mrs... Mary Anne: Uh... Could we have a moment, please? Social worker: Sure. I'll be right outside. Mary Anne: Why were you fighting? Young Adonis: I'm not going to another group home. Mary Anne: I'm not from a group home. Young Adonis: You a social worker? Mary Anne: No. I am not a social worker. Young Adonis: ngga said something about my ma so I bat his ass. Mary Anne:I'm sorry about your mother. I know what it's like to lose someone. When your father died, I was angry for so long. I hurt myself, pushed family away. Young Adonis: I don't have no father. What did you say? Young Adonis: I said I don't have no father. Mary Anne: That's not true. He passed before you were born, but you had a father. Young Adonis: You knew him? Mary Anne: He was my husband. Adonis, I would like it very much if you would come and stay with me. Do you think you'd wanna do that? Young Adonis: What was his name? Adonis: Hey, James. James: Don, sit down. What you got there? You're joking, right? You get a promotion and you're quitting? Adonis: Look, this career just ain't for me. James: What are you gonna do? Adonis: Hey, man, thanks for everything. Just wanna talk to you about my job. Mary Anne: You see your new office? Adonis: Hmm. Yeah. But, um... Mary Anne: Well, what's it like? This is a big deal, this promotion. Did they hire your assistant? Thank you. Very proud of you. Announcer: Superfight Two with Rocky Balboa, the challenger and, of course, Apollo Creed, the world champion. And there's the bell. Comes over in a hurry now. He throws a couple of rights and lefts out there. He starts to take command early here and now he kinda moves his feet along the side of the ring. A good right hand thrown at him. Another right and another right thrown by the champion. Creed is going for the knockout. Just holding that right hand and he's just waiting for that precise moment that he wants... There it is! He unloaded that. But here comes Balboa! Got him in that corner, and there's lefts and rights. Here comes Balboa coming back out. A left and a right to the head. But now it is Creed coming back. Creed with the left hand. Balboa appears to be getting ht often. Take it to him. Take it to the body. There you go! Make your time count, baby. You know what's coming up. There you go. Check it out. Adonis: What you doing here, man? 15 and 0, 15 knockouts. Wheeler: In Tijuana? No, bro. That's barroom brawling. Adonis: Well, I'm all in anyway. So I figure we start out local, just to get our momentum going, then we can move wherever we wanna move. "We"? I was figuring... Danny Wheeler: Adonis, these boys come in here, this how they survive. They gotta fight for life. kll or be kll. People die in there. Your daddy died in the ring. This ain't no joke. I don't know him. Ain't got nothing to do with me. Duke: Okay, you real tough now. Yup. Nah, I ain't training you. You know I ain't training you. Nobody training you. I'm gonna make sure about that. We making champs in the Delphi Gym! We not dancing! We not singing! We fighting! You struggle every day, you fight for something. You damn right! Adonis: Hey, listen up! Adonis. Adonis: These the keys to my 'Stang right here. Adonis, get out the ring! All you gotta do is land one clean head sht. Kevin: What I gotta put up for it? Adonis: Put up your hands. You a pro, right? Danny: No, no, no. You gonna get the shit knocked out of you. You ain't gotta prove nothing to me. Better listen to your family, boy. Oh, my God. At least put on your head gear. No head gear? Mmm-hmm. It's on you. Adonis: kll, right? He a kll, right, Lil Duke? Where were you at when I was in group homes, huh? You miss a meal? Nah! Which one of your kll in here next? You pick him! You pick who's next! Danny: I'm next. Hey, I just need one round, bro. All right, you wanna warm up? I don't need no warm-up. Get my stuff. Danny: I see you got your head gear on. Good job. Nah. Don't run. Danny: Told you I'd win, man. I told you. Duke: I tried to tell you something, bro. You don't wanna listen. You don't wanna listen. You wanna learn things the hard way, huh? Mary Anne: Hey. Hey. Mary Anne: How you doing? Doing good. I just came home, I wanted to talk to you. Mary Anne: Yeah? I quit my job. Yeah. No... Mary Anne: Where did you get this? Mexico? It's not that bad. "It's not that bad." I ought to knock you out myself. You know how many times I had to carry your father up these stairs because he couldn't walk? Yes. How many times I had to wipe his ass because he couldn't use his hands? Is that what you want? No. You want brain damage. Yeah, you do. You want to be so brain-damaged, you can't form a sentence. Adonis: I can get hurt doing anything. Mary Anne: Apollo didn't get hurt, he got kll! People get kll! I didn't take you in for you to go backwards. You're better than this. Adonis: I'm leaving soon. I'm gonna be fighting full-time now. So I wanted to tell you face-to-face. Mary Anne: You are your father's son and you're part of him. But it doesn't mean you have to be him. Adonis: I'm gonna call you. Mary Anne: Listen, you want to be in somebody's ring... You don't have to call me. All right, smile! Rocky: How you doing? Adonis: This was taken from the 10th round of the first fight, right? Rocky: Good call. How'd you know that? Adonis: I heard about a third fight between you and Apollo, behind closed doors. That true? Rocky: How'd you hear about that? Adonis: Who won? Rocky: It's kind of a secret. What'd you say your name was? Adonis: Donnie. Rocky: The girl said you wanted to talk about something. Adonis: Yeah, I want to talk to you about training me. Rocky: Training you. I don't do that stuff no more. Sorry about that. Listen, it's getting kind of late, kid. So I'm gonna close up. How good was he? Rocky; Who? Apollo? Yeah, he was great. He's a perfect fighter. Ain't nobody ever better. So how'd you bat him? Rocky: Time bat him. Time, you know, takes everybody out, it's undefeated. Anyway, I gotta lock up. Adonis: When Mickey died, he came and talked to you, right? Talked you out of quitting? Took you to L.A., trained you. Brought you back. Rocky: How do you know all this? Adonis: How do you think? Rocky: What are you, like a cousin? He's my father. No, he isn't. I don't believe you. Adonis: Call Mary Anne. Mary Anne. His wife. Adonis: The house number still works. Oh, that's right. You haven't talked to her since the funeral. She said you gave a nice speech, though. Rocky: Yeah. Nice speech. Adonis: I want you to train me. All right? I need somebody solid and who else better to go to? You at least owe me that. Rocky: I can tell the way you talk, you been to school. So I figure you got some brains. Why would you want to pick a fighter's life when you don't have to? If Apollo was around, he would tell you that, too. Adonis: Well, he ain't around. I been fighting my whole life. I ain't got a choice. Rocky: It's always about a choice. I was in the ring. I saw how it went down. That fight should've been stopped. I should have stopped it. Adonis: Maybe he wanted to go out like a fighter. Maybe, you did exactly what he wanted. Rocky: I think he'd rather be here, talking with you. There is a resemblance. I'm usually here all the time, so if you're ever in the neighborhood, come by, if you need something. Adonis: I'll be at Mickey's Gym tomorrow. Rocky:,I don't go there. I haven't been there in a long time. Adonis: Since we're pretty much like family who won the third fight? Rocky: He did. Announcer: In boxing, fighters' origins can endure as the most sacred element of their identity, shaping choices that can change their lives forever. "Pretty" Ricky Conlan is a faithful son of Liverpool, England, a place where people find hope in the tales of their heroes. But for the undefeated best pound-for-pound boxer in the world, the future is filled with uncertainty, with a seven-year prison sentence looming. Ricky Conlan: I didn't plan on spending me prime years in a prison cell. I hate letting me family down. Announcer: Now what could be his final bout awaits him at home, in one of his city's most hallowed sporting temples. Here, he'll welcome an opponent who's also never been bat and who's boxed his way from California streets to American stardom. Fighting out of the famed Delphi Boxing Academy, with a trainer whose father guided icons of the past, Danny "Stuntman" Wheeler believes he's the sport's future. Danny Wheeler: Conlan’s going away for a long time. Now it's my turn. Ricky: I've never lost. I've never even been knocked down, and that's not gonna change. Announcer: A champion in a dark and extraordinary predicament. A challenger uninterested in a hero's send-off. This is 24/7: Conlan/Wheeler. Kick this dude ass. No respect, man. Adonis: I'm Donnie. Bianca: Yeah? Adonis: And I just moved in upstairs. Bianca: Okay. What do you want, Donnie? It's late. Adonis: I can hear your music. Bianca: Yeah? I didn't know it was that loud. Adonis: Well, it is, all right? I gotta wake up early and work out. Bianca: Oh. Oh, got you. You gotta wake up early and do your, uh, jawns. Keep your body tight. Cool. I'll turn my music down. You won't hear a peep. Adonis: Thanks... Pete Sporino: Snap it back! Breathe, Leo, breathe. Good boy. Hey. Can I help you? Adonis: Looking to sign up. Pete: Were you from? Adonis: L.A. Pete: Hollywood! Which gym? I know all those guys. Adonis: Don't have one. I'm more self-taught. Pete: Self-taught? Adonis: You know Balboa? Pete: Yes, we grew up together. Most members just work themselves out. For an extra $20 a month, I can give you drills, check in on you when I can. Adonis: Yeah, that works. Pete: Double jab. Move your head, babe. ♪ Grip, grip ♪ Grip, grip, grip ♪ Grip me ♪ I might give a little ♪ But you can't take it all ♪ I might try to run ♪ But just to make you follow ♪ I like it when ya ♪ Grip, grip, grip ♪ Got you right where I want ♪ I can see it all ♪ Don't let me go Let me go ♪ Take me to the floor To the floor ♪ I need more I need more ♪ Hannah: Boxing fans have been waiting years for the Superfight between "Pretty" Ricky Conlan and Danny Wheeler. But we guess the fighters couldn't wait another 24 hours. Conlan punched Wheeler after words were exchanged during the face-off. Wheeler suffered a broken jaw and has already announced plans to sue Conlan and the WBC. Adonis: Hey, Unc! Unc! Rocky: How you doing? Rocky: Did you call me "Unc"? Adonis: Yeah, it was either that or O.G. Rocky: What's an "O.G."? Adonis: Old-ass gangster. Rocky: "Unc" is good. I can do that. It's all good. So why'd you come by? You hungry? No, I just wrapped up at the gym. Figured I'd stop by. Okay. Maybe ask you a question. Sure. I can do all this. Adonis: Uh... What are some drills I can do to get my hand speed up? Rocky: Some guys up there, I bet they can help you. There's a guy there named Pete. He's a pretty good trainer. Yeah, but he's with his fighter most of the time. I mostly just train myself. They know you're a Creed? Adonis: I don't go by that. I'm trying to make it on my own. Name's Johnson. Who's Johnson? Adonis: Mom's name. Plus, just makes life easier. Uh-huh. Plus, you know, if you train me ain't nobody around here knows me. We could fly under the radar. They'd never know. Yeah. Rocky: I told you before, I just don't wanna do it, kid. Adonis: That's cool, but maybe you could just give me some drills. Drills? Adonis: Yeah, things I could do on my own. Rocky: You don't stop, do you? You're like a woodpecker. My God. All right. I got a few. But that's it. Okay? Adonis: Of course. Rocky: Five rounds of jumping rope. Three rounds on each of the bags... When you get to the heavy bag, just don't keep throwing your hands because you can hurt them. It's also about using your legs, all right? And then five rounds of... Shadow... Adonis: O-W. Rocky: There's a "W." Adonis: Boxing. Rocky: Boxing, yeah. And that's it. All right? Yeah. Okay, here you go. Oh, that is perfect. Good luck with that. All right, got it. Hold that real quick. All right, man. Rocky: Wait, don't you want this? I got it right here. Rocky: What if you lose that thing or it breaks? It's already up in the cloud. Rocky: What cloud? What cloud? Adonis: Hey, Ma, it's me. I was just calling to let you know I'm doing good and I got an apartment. It ain't much but I'm trying to make it into something. I miss you. I wanna hear from you, so call me back when you get a chance. All right. Bianca: What, it's too loud? Adonis: No, I just heard you down here working. Figured you'd wanna take a break. Maybe get some food? Bianca: Where you from, Donnie? I'm from L.A. Bianca: So is this how y'all ask females out in L.A.? Adonis: Just wanted to know if you were hungry. Not a date. Bianca: Right. Adonis: You know what? It's all good. It's okay. Bianca: Hey, yo. I am hungry. I only have an hour. Do you know where you wanna go? Adonis: I was hoping you could tell me. You're from Philly, right? Bianca; Okay. Good luck, man. So where are we? North Philly. So this is Max's. Max’s cook: Hey, superstar! What's going on? I'm well, thanks. How you doing? Max’s cook: You looking wonderful as always. Thank you. How you doing there, my friend? Bianca: This my neighbor and he's a West Coast boy. Ain't never had a steak before. Listen, I'm gonna treat him like he was my neighbor. That's how good we gonna take care of you. Bianca: You like pickles? Nah. Okay, mayonnaise. Put extra peppers on that jawn, both kinds. Ketchup, extra cheese. How much I owe you? Bianca: $9.95. No, let me get these. Adonis: That's cool. I asked you out, right? Bianca: You said it wasn't a date, though. It's not. Adonis: Where we eating at? Bianca: Right there. Adonis: So I heard you back there, "jawn" this, "jawn" that. What's a "jawn"? Bianca: It's a noun. See, these is jawns. This is a jawn. This restaurant we're sitting in is a jawn. You're a jawn. Adonis: You got a jawn? Like, a dude? Bianca: No. I got too much going on right now. Shows and stuff? Yeah. I'm opening at Electric Factory next month. What's that? Bianca: It's a big venue out here. A lot of people got their start. Jill, Legend, the Roots. Adonis: That's wassup. Can I ask you something personal? Bianca: Mmm-hmm. I got progressive hearing loss. Just started wearing these this past year. But I only need them in places with a lot of background noise. Adonis: For now. So it's progressive, so eventually... Bianca; Yeah. Yeah. I'm just getting ready for it. Like I'm getting used to these, I'm learning sign language and stuff. But I really can only remember bad words. Ones that aren't that useful like... Adonis: The fck's that? You can't tell? This is the bull, the horns, this is... Adonis: Yeah, this is bullshit. That's your favorite? Bianca: Uh-huh. You don't really seem like a boxer to me. I mean, you're in shape and all but... I don't know. Aren't most boxers like... Adonis: Like what? Bianca: Like street. I'm not saying you're a square or anything, but I'm just curious, what made you wanna fight? Adonis: My pop was a fighter. Bianca: Oh, right. That makes sense. Did he fight pro? Adonis: Something like that. Bianca: Does he train you? Adonis: My pop died before I was born. Bianca: I'm sorry to hear that. Adonis: So what made you wanna sing? Uh... It makes me feel alive. Adonis: Where's your next show? Bianca: That place that you saw me at, Johnny Brenda's. I got a residency there so we're back on Friday. Adonis: Can I roll with you? I wanna show up, you know. Show some love. Bianca: Let me think on it. Rocky: Okay. Here we go, Paulie. Happy birthday, my friend. I didn't forget ya. Your favorite. Miss ya, pal. Yo, Adrian, my darling. The best of the best. I'll tell you, Adrian, God. It's getting harder to walk up this hill. What does that mean? Anyway, it's a good day today. It's a good day, got no problems. Bills are paid. Only thing is, it's tough to sleep at night sometimes. My back. No matter what you do, it catches up to you. Anyway, shall we see what's new in the world today? Whoa. Hey, Rocky! Hey, how you doing? Good to see you. How you doing? Hey, Rock! Long time no see, brother. Still here? Good to see you. Yeah. Hey, the Italian Stallion's back. How you doing? It's like a party here with everyone. Yeah, right. Welcome back, man. It's been a while. Yeah, thank you very much. How do you feel? Good. What, are you making a comeback? No. Hey, champ. Hey, Pete. What's up? Didn't know you were coming by. I didn't either. I was just in the neighborhood. You've done nice here. Place is looking good, new paint and everything. Very good, very nice. I do what I can. Remember my son, Leo? Of course I do. A lot bigger since you last seen him. Yeah, very big. Pete: Rocky, he's 17 and 0. Things are really opening up for us. Leo! Come. Rocky, option's still open if you wanna get involved. Little training, little motivation. Rocky: Let me think about it. Sure, sure. How you doing, kid? It's an honor to meet you, champ. Nice to meet you, too. 17 and 0, very good. Yeah, I was supposed to fight on the Ricky Conlan's card... Hey, Unc! But it got canceled. Unc. He talking to you? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. You made it. Yeah. Just walked by. Here I am. Pete: How you know Hollywood? Adonis: Uh, we met at the restaurant. Rocky: That's it. Pete: Okay, Rock. Okay. You need anything, you let me know. Rocky: Okay. Good luck, kid. Seriously. Thanks. Rocky: 17 and 0. Kid's got a future. Tough. Can I talk to you a minute? I don't really know what I'm doing here because I got other plans for my life and this wasn't part of it. Your father was special. Tell you the truth, I don't know if you're special. Only you gonna know that when the time is right. It ain't gonna come overnight. You're gonna take a bat, you're gonna take this, you're gonna get knocked down, you're gonna get up and you're gonna see if you got the right thing. But, you gotta work hard. I swear to God, if you're not gonna do it, I'm out. Adonis: Rock, every punch I've ever thrown has been on my own. Nobody showed me how to do this. I'm ready. Rocky: Come on. Let's do this. Step into my office. Adonis: You serious? Rocky: I am serious. This is old school. You should be able to grab one of these birds. Adonis: 30 seconds? Rocky: Yeah, in your dreams. Come on! You call that fast? No! Again. I thought you were fast. Come here! Get them legs moving! Little harder, little faster! Keep up the pace! Keep going! Control your tempo then build slowly. More. Build, build, build. Go! That bell don't mean school's out, Donnie. Keep going. That bell means hell. Just go get the chicken. It's not that big a deal. Adonis: Come here! God damn it! Rocky:,Oh, my God! That's pretty good. Chickens are slowing down. All right. Donnie, get into your stance. Make a small target, turn sideways. Okay. You see this guy here staring back at you? Adonis: Yeah. Rocky: That's your toughest opponent. Every time you get into the ring, that's who you're going against. I believe that in boxing and I do believe that in life, okay? Now throw a jab in the jaw. All right, one to the gut. Now, every time you punch this guy, what's he doing? Adonis: He's throwing one back at me. Rocky: That's right. So either you block it, slip it or get out of the way. Go. I'll leave you two alone for a while. Good luck. Adonis: Hey. Bianca: Yo. Adonis: What's up? Is it cool? Bianca: Yes. Smells good in here. Bianca: I don't even know what fighters drink. Do you drink tea? Adonis: Yeah, tea's good. Thank you. Yeah. So this is the house. This is it. Adonis: What you working on? Uh... ♪ Ey ♪ Ey ♪ Uh, uh, uh ♪ It's your boy Donnie ♪ From L.A. to Philly ♪ Philly, the home of the cheesesteaks ♪ Oh, I want a cheesesteak ♪ I'm so hungry ♪ Hungry for the title ♪ I'll settle for a cheesecake ♪ Cheesecake, the cake that you make ♪ The cake that you got ♪ Where the bat go? Sorry. Adonis: Hey, check you out. Whoo. Yeah! One, two, three. I like that. Very good. Keep that balance going. Way to go. Donnie, get up. You gotta keep moving. It's tough but you gotta do it. You get a "B" in tough. Pete: Kid's looking good, champ! Rocky: Yeah, he's getting there. Pete: Hey, Hollywood, what do you weigh right now? Adonis: I don't know, probably like 180. Rocky: Why? Pete: Get down to a buck 75, we'll make something happen, if you're interested. Adonis: Hell, yeah, I'm interested. Rocky: No. I do the talking, okay? You do the fighting. 175? That's your boy's weight. How you doing, Leo? Leo: What's up, Rock? Yeah. Pete: He could use a fight to keep warm. Rocky: Warm? Pete: I'm not gonna lie to you. People will come out to see you in the corner again, champ. We'll make it like the old days. Get the whole city there. Make a few bucks for everybody. Rocky: No, I understand that. But I'm just getting used to this kid right now, and, you know, he's getting better every day but he's gonna take a while. Pete: He's hungry. You gotta feed him every now and again. You know that. Rocky: Thanks. I appreciate it, chef. We'll be okay. Thanks. Pete: Think about it. Rocky: I'll think about it. Adonis: Rock, what we training for? Yeah, what are we training for? We're training to win, not get kll. You're not ready yet. Adonis: I can lose five pounds. I can lose five pounds like that. It's nothing, it's easy. Rocky: ht the bag. Come on. This kid's like a tough Philadelphia fighter. I ain't never even seen you battle before. Adonis: Yeah, but I've been watching him, and I'm pretty sure he'd catch my fade. Rocky: What's a fade? Adonis: I could take him out. Oh, okay. All right, listen. Let me make you an offer you can't refuse. Rocky: Are you crazy? Adonis: No, I'm serious, man. Look, we take the match. Right. I got six weeks to get in shape. Six weeks, I'll do whatever it takes. At the end of the six weeks, you don't think it's right, call it off. Really? Look, this is what I'm here for, all right? I'll go 24-7 with this shit. Matter of fact, we can go get my stuff right now. Rocky: For what? Adonis: So I can move into your spot. Start training camp. Old school, remember? Rocky: No, no one's been in my house in a long time and I don't think you'd be comfortable there. What, you walk around naked? Rocky: No. Adonis: We're good then. Rocky: You better not walk around naked either. That's for sure. Adonis: Last one? Rocky: Yeah, that's all of it. Bianca: Hey! Adonis; Hey! Bianca; You're moving? Adonis: Yeah, today's been crazy. I didn't get a chance to tell you, but I'm gonna be living with my uncle for a while, training for the next fight. Bianca: That's your uncle? He's white. Rocky: Yeah, a long time. He's gonna be staying with me, and when we ain't training you're welcome to come on over. Bianca: Cool, thank you. It's nice to meet you. Adonis: Why you giving me that look? Bianca: When were you gonna tell me that your uncle's Rocky Balboa? Adonis: I'm gonna call you. Bianca: All right, I'm not gonna hold my breath. Rocky: That Bianca girl looks kind of nice. You like her? Adonis: Yeah, she cool. What, this one? Rocky: Yeah. Women weaken legs. You know what I mean? Adonis: My legs work just fine. Whose room was this? Rocky: This is Paulie's room. Paulie. Paulie was my best friend even though he wasn't so friendly. Adonis: What happened to him? Rocky: Passed away. Adonis: I'm sorry. Rocky: Kind of a mess. We'll straighten it up later. It'll be comfortable. Adonis: Oh, man, this is a dope pic! That's your boy? Rocky: Yeah, that's my kid, Robert. Adonis: Did you train him, too? Rocky: I tried, but he just didn't like fighting, didn't take to it. Adonis: He still around here? Rocky: No, he moved to a place called Vancouver with his girlfriend. And I think they're having a great old time up there and, you know, I hear from him now and then, but it was tough for him to live in Philadelphia. Me and all that stuff... You know, Rocky's son. He's happy. I'm happy for him. Why don't you unpack, all right? Make yourself comfortable. And I'm gonna go to the restaurant and I'll be back. Then we start first thing in the morning, all right? Adonis: You got it. All right, Paulie! Ooh. Rocky: Hey, it's time to train. This is how you start. Get your engine going. I'm gonna take you to this place called the Front Street Gym up in North Philly. It's pretty good. Okay. You're gonna train there, because I don't want you to train in the same place as the guy that you're gonna be fighting, right? Adonis: Yeah, that makes sense. Rocky: Don, don't get in. I want you to run alongside. I'm kinda antique, right? Yeah. So I'll drive and you try to keep up. Adonis: How close is it? Rocky: It's close enough. Adonis: All right. Hey, wait! Let me warm up real quick. Rocky: You made it. Hey. Adonis: I thought you said it was close. Rocky: Not that close. This is Frankford. Tough place. You wanna be a Philly fighter, this is the place to go. Philly fighters, you know, I think they're the toughest guys in the world. In a lot of ways. Maybe it's in the water, I don't know, but great place though. Adonis: What's up with all these bikes? Rocky: It's a Philly thing. These guys are popping wheelies and making noise, going up and down the street. Adonis: Do you ride? Rocky: No. I had a Harley once but I fell off, so I decided to use my feet. Now, this kid, Sporino, he got something special. He's no pushover, so you're gonna have to work, you know what I mean? What do you think? Not bad, huh? Adonis: Not bad at all. Rocky: Yeah. This'll get the job done. Really will. Uh... Look at these guys! Hey! The gng's all here! Donnie, look at this. This is a crew if I ever saw one. Hey, Padman. Good to see you. Hey, champ. How you doing, bro? Rocky: This guy is so good with the mitts, he's gonna teach you a lot of stuff. He's got a lot of knowledge. And Stitch, best cut man in Philadelphia. Hope we don't need him. What's going on? Stitch: Welcome to Philly, brother. Pleasure. Glad to work with you. Rocky: And over here is Elvis Grant. He makes the best gloves in the world. Uh-huh. Rocky: And as my present to you, starting out on the right foot... Nice to meet you, man. Nice to meet you too. Rocky: He's gonna make you a pair of gloves so that your hands don't get so bad as me. What? Is that coffee I smell in there? Yeah, that's coffee. Rocky: All right, you guys get to know each other. Amir. All right, Unc. Come here. Man, I could use some coffee. Let me introduce you to my son. This is my son, Amir. That's the one you're gonna be sparring with. Amir. Donnie. Nice to meet you. Mmm-hmm. Rocky: Right hand fast. Let it go, let it go. Push off that back foot. Come on, Donnie, a little quicker. Come on, Donnie. Back it up. No, just like he's doing. Yeah. I can't pivot fast enough. Yeah, just turn it. That's your power. Fast, pop it fast. Adonis: I'm popping as fast as I can. I'm trying to push off my back foot like you told me. Rocky: Hey, Donnie. Come here. I came out here to work with you, though. This is how I work, okay? There's some things I can't do. I can't do this anymore. I can never hold the pads like that. But I'm looking at you. I'm working with you. I'm working with this. Lighten it up. Am I still taking them real shts? Slow it down. Hey, hey! That's it. Hey, hey, hey! This easy work, Pop. Gotta keep moving. That's it. Rocky: Time! Bell! Bell. Huh! Taking real shts though! What you mean? Cut it out! Amir: Take those gloves off right now! This my gym! Take the glove off right now! Take your soft ass back to L.A.! You ain't ready yet! This my gym! fck this gym! Called a learning curve... Ain't no learning. Rocky: Hey, hey, hey! You know what? You can't learn anything when you're talking. That's a fact of life. As long as you're talking, you're not listening. Go apologize. You guys are on the same damn team, okay? There you go. Good. You good. It's okay. All right. Now let's go to work! Double jab. Yup. Go ahead over the top. Right hook here. Over here. Rocky: One step at a time, one punch at a time, one round at a time. One step at a time, one punch at a time, one round at a time. Turn right. Come on, let's go. Stitch: Fast, pop it fast. Right upper cut. Right up top. Rocky: Boom. Boom. Good. I want you to let it all out. Now go right here. Everyone's ever disrespected you, see them. Anything you ever wanted go after it. Now's your time! Make a statement! One step! One punch! One round at a time! There it is. Adonis: Ah! You cheated! Pete: Rock. Rocky: Hey, how you doing, Pete? Something wrong? Pete: Rock, I knew. I knew there was something with this kid. Rocky, I have been trying for years to get you to come work with us. Rocky: Aw. It's okay. Pete: All of a sudden, this kid from Hollywood gets you out of the shadows. Rocky: No. No shadows. I just didn't want to do nothing in the gym, that's all. Pete: Rocky, I made calls to L.A. Kid's name is Adonis. Kid has Creed's blood. Now this fight just got big time. Rocky: I apologize. Do me a favor. Can we keep this between ourselves? Oh, come on. No. Rocky: I'm asking you as a favour. I want him to make a name on his own. Come on, Pete. Pete: Yeah. Secret's safe with me, Rock. Rocky: I appreciate it. Keep going. You're looking good. Go on, get moving. Referee:,Hey. So how's everybody feeling tonight? I'm about to go over the ABC rules and the rules governed by the state. No three knockdown rule. No standing eight-count. A fighter cannot be saved by the bell. What we mean by "no three knockdown rule" is basically whatever the referee sees fit for competition... Adonis: Unc, cut my gloves off. Rocky: What's wrong? Adonis: My gloves, just cut 'em off! Rocky: I can't cut 'em off, you're ready to go fight. Are they too tight? Adonis: I'm freaking out right now! I gotta take a shit! Somebody gonna wipe my ass for me? Rocky: Shit! Adonis: Cut my gloves off, Unc! Rocky: All right, relax. I'll cut you out of these gloves. It happens. Hey, ref, I'm gonna need some help here. D, I'm gonna be right outside. That's right. Can you just stall for 10 minutes or something? I gotta put the gloves back on. Referee: All right, I'll step on outside, Rock. Rocky: I appreciate it. Thank you very much. It ain't no problem. You got 10 minutes. First for me, man. Rocky: All right, come on. It'll be all right. Yeah. A little nervous? Nerves? Hurry up! Blue corner, red corner. Referee: All right, fellas, y'all had your instructions in the dressing room. Obey my commands at all times, protect yourself at all times. Any questions from the blue corner? Questions from the red corner? Touch them up. Be ready on seconds out. Right. It's about you. Yep. Yep. Rocky: It's all about you. Now, you wanted this. Let's go, Coach. I want you to make it happen. Can you do it? Let's do it. All right. Come on. Let's make it happen. Let's go, Unc. It's all about today! There is no tomorrow! Let's go! Nice! Move and target, move and target! Pete: Jab! It's the jab! His face is right there! Come on! Where's the jab? Hands up. Hands up, kid. Breathe, kid, breathe! Adonis: Let's go, boy! Let's go, boy! Rocky: Way to get out of there. Keep moving, Donnie! Move your head! That's it. Get on him! Get on him! Break! My break! Adonis: Let's go, boy! Rocky: There you go! There you go! Good. Back off. Crowd: Leo! Leo! Leo! One punch on top. Keep moving. That's right. Block left. Block left. Relax. Adonis: Let's go, boy! Come get this shit! Come get it! Rocky: You're doing good, kid! Keep the pressure up! Break! Let's go, Leo! Come on! Let's go. Pete: Keep moving! Keep coming forward! Great sht! Bianca: Come on, Donnie! Rocky: What are you doing? Referee: Time! Yeah. Rocky: Okay! All right. It's okay. Take a deep breath. Through your lungs. Deep breath. Deep breath. Look at me. I like what you're doing out there, all right? You're a little tight. You're gonna loosen up, all right? Here's what I want you to do. I want you to throw your left under the radar. That's it. Then come up with a shovel hook. You're gonna see an opening, put it right on his chin, that'll drop him... Mouthpiece in, seconds out! Rocky: Your old man did that to me. It worked. Referee: Mouthpiece in, seconds out! Crowd: Leo! Leo! Leo! Adonis: Come on! Leo: Come on! Tie him up! That's it. Good boy! Tie him up! Referee: Break! Come on! Rocky: Kid, seize it now! Now! Now! Adonis: Get up! Get up! Come on, kid! Come on! Referee: One! Two! Adonis: Get up and get some! Referee: Three! Four! Adonis: We got him, Rock! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! I'm good. Nine! Ten! That's it, baby! Adonis: We got one, Rock! Whoo! We got one! Yeah, we got one! Unbelievable! Adonis: It's because of you! Rocky: No, you did it. Come on, man! You did it. You okay? Give him some room. Rock. Rock. Rock. Lucky sht. Come on in! Bianca! Bianca! Come in! Sorry! Sorry! I'm all good. Bianca: You didn't say you had hands like that! Why didn't you say you had hands like that, though? Adonis: Well, but girl, I'm square though. I'm square though. You good? What we doing after this? Adonis: Let's go for it. Let's go tear the city up! Okay. Bianca: Hey. Adonis: Hmm. Bianca: I made something for you. Keep 'em closed. Adonis: Mmm-hmm. Come listen with me. Bianca: What about your uncle? Adonis: Huh. He's asleep. He old, man. Rocky: There he is. Adonis: What's up, Unc? Rocky: Hey, how you feeling? Adonis: I'm good. I'm a little sore, but I'm all right. Rocky: You want some toast? Adonis: Okay. Adonis: So you cooking or you watching? Bianca: No, I'm looking you up. Adonis: You're doing what? Bianca: I'm looking you up. Adonis: No, don't do that. I'm right here. Mmm. Adonis: What's up? Bianca: You got something you wanna tell me? Adonis: I didn't lie. Bianca: You might as well have. You told me that your dad was some fighter. You didn't say he was the most famous fighter to ever live. Adonis: People look at me differently when they know. They look at Apollo differently, too. Bianca: Yeah, Donnie, but I'm not people. I don't care about that shit. I do care about you keeping it 100 with me, though. Adonis: Well, listen. You're right, okay? No, seriously, look. You... 100% honesty from here on out. Bianca: All right. So his... His wife, that's not your mom? Adonis: Apollo had an affair with my mom. All right? She died when I was young. I bounced around foster care for a couple years. In and out of juvie. Then Mary Anne tracked me down and took me in. Anything else? Ask me. Bianca: How many females have you been with before me? Adonis: Anything else? Look, Bianca, come on now, you different. Bianca: How? Adonis: When I'm around you I feel like I know you my whole life. Bianca: Mmm-hmm. Adonis: Tell me you don't feel the same way about me. Bianca: Whatever. That's passion. That's infatuation. That fades. Adonis: I can't see that happening. Bianca: Why not? Adonis: You motivate me. Bianca: Okay, so I'm just motivation to you? Adonis: Are you gonna find a problem with everything I say? Bianca: No, I'm gonna find the real in what you're saying. Don't worry, it's cool. Maybe you're just motivation to me, too. Adonis: Oh, really? Bianca: Mmm-hmm. Adonis: I don't mind that. What? Bianca: You do look like him, though. Adonis: Oh, my God. I hate that! Just to get on my nerves! Welcome to PTI, boys and girls. We begin today with the boxing world. Adonis Johnson, a little-known boxer being trained by Rocky Balboa handed light heavyweight title contender Leo Sporino a second-round TKO defeat in Philadelphia last night. An anonymous source confirmed to ESPN that Johnson is the youngest biological son of Apollo Creed. A fact that was kept under wraps because Johnson was the product of Creed's infidelity. The boxing world is excited to have another Creed in the ring but, Wilbon, does knowledge of this affair damage Apollo Creed's legacy? Wilbon: Damage his legacy? Let's go back for a second. A little history on Apollo Creed. I certainly have him right up there as maybe the best of all time. End of discussion. He slipped. He made a mistake, like a lot of people. This isn't gonna be the first, particularly in the boxing world! Yeah. Wilbon: But I'm not gonna say it's gonna kll his legacy. I think it's an embarrassment and I think the family must have felt this embarrassment because they kept it under wraps for so long. - But I really have one question. Wilbon: What? Can the kid fight as well as the old man? Wilbon: That's a stretch. Tommy Holiday: I found us our next payday. Check it out. Ricky Conlan: Creed's son? Tommy: Yeah. Ricky: Are you kidding me? Tommy: No. Ricky:He's got one fight under his belt. Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know. But he's got Balboa in his corner. Ricky: No one cares about Balboa anymore. Kid's here because of a name alone. Tommy: You're gonna do it. Ricky: This guy doesn't even deserve a sht. Tommy: Listen to me. This is not a negotiation, all right? You're the idiot that ran around Toxteth with a gn. Do you remember that? And you are the clown who couldn't control himself at a weigh-in and lost us millions in the process. Millions, okay? So look at it again. Ricky: I don't wanna be remembered like this. Tommy: I don't care how you're remembered. I care about your kids having a roof over their head when you're done. Do you understand? Rocky: Hello? Tommy: It's Tommy Holiday. I look after Ricky Conlan. Rocky:,Yeah, how you doing? Tommy: Listen. Is it true about the kid? Rocky: About the kid? Uh... Tommy: Think you and the kid have got 30 minutes for a business meeting? Rocky: All right, I'll tell you what. Yeah, if you can get over here, sure. We'll talk with you, but it's gotta be fast because we're training. I can be there. Couple of days. Rocky: Yeah. Tommy: I'll be in touch. Rocky: Okay. Oh, man. Thanks for taking the time. I'll get right to it. My guy needs to fight in the next six months and we've bat everybody. Adonis: You want me to fight Conlan? Tommy: I think it would be a very wise move. You've been down in Mexico doing pro fights, eh? I've got you as 15-0 down there. And with the Sporino fight, that makes you 16-0. Now, nobody needs to know these fights were in some hole in the wall, do they, eh? Adonis: You think I'm ready? Rocky: Donnie, this man came here because he knows you're a sure thing. Right? It's a sure victory. Tommy: That is not true. Rocky: Yeah, it is. Tommy: Okay, listen. All right. This could be my guy's last fight. And I wanna make it count. Now, on that note, we would need you to change your name to Creed. It's just a formality. Adonis: And what if I say no? Tommy: Well, then there's no fight. Without the name, there's no fight. It's a non-starter. Okay. Okay. Why don't you both take a day, talk about it and we'll, uh, see what you say, okay? It's a good deal. Adonis: Can't do it. Nah, it's not my name. And plus, I wanna make it on my own merit anyway. Bianca: Yeah? Adonis: Yeah. Bianca: You got a funny way of showing it. Adonis: What's that supposed to mean? I mean, weren't Apollo and Rocky like best friends? It feels like you're trying to tap into whatever it is he left behind. I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of, you know? What are you afraid of? Adonis: Uh, what are you afraid of? I don't know. Adonis: I mean, this hearing shit don't scare you? Bianca: Uh... I always knew it would happen eventually so my plan has always just been to do what I love for as long as I can. I think that's all we ever do. You know? So, what are you afraid of? Adonis: I'm afraid of taking on the name and losing. They'll call me a fraud. Fake Creed. Bianca: Why don't you think about what's true? You love to fight, right? Yeah, it makes you happy, right? Adonis: Yeah. Bianca: Yeah, and you are Apollo Creed's son, right? Adonis: Yes. Bianca: So then use the name. It's yours. Adonis: Hey, Unc, you down there? Rocky: Yeah. Adonis: I know you don't want me to do this, right? Rocky: I can think of better things to do, Donnie. Adonis: But if we did do it how we get it done? Rocky: Mmm. Well... He's taller than you. He has a reach on you. Definitely has a lot more experience than you. And he's faster than you are. He's the champion. And since he's the champion, you gotta bring the fight to him, like I did. You gotta go to the body. Dig. And in doing that you're in a very dangerous place because you can get laid out. It ain't easy for me to be in your corner, kid. I don't know if you're ready for it. I don't know if I'm ready for it. But I'll do what you wanna do. Adonis: If it was anybody else in my corner I wouldn't do it. But I got you. So make the call. Rocky: All right. Adonis: I'm fighting Ricky Conlan. I'm fighting "Pretty" Ricky Conlan! Don't work him too hard, Rock. Yeah. He's still a puppy. Come on, come on. Rocky: Close the distance. That's it. Yeah. One, two. Good. Come on. Body, come here. Oh, yeah. Got a good ht. Okay. Come on. Dig deep. Body, body, body. Good. Adonis: You up to moving around? Rocky: Take a break. Adonis: Oh. Hey, Unc, you all right? Rocky: I'm all right. You okay? I'm all right. It's out. I'm all right. All right. Just let me walk. Just... I'm good. Sure? Yeah. Hey. What's wrong with you? Rocky: I don't know. I don't know. Come here. Rocky: Just let me walk. Adonis: No, we got to call someone and get you to the doctor, okay? Okay. All right, come on. Off the rope. Easy. Come on, I got you. Hey, Stitch! I'm sorry. No, no. What? No, I'm really... Hey, somebody help! Hi. Hi. Donnie. Kathari: Dr. Kathari. Mr. Balboa, how you feeling? I'm feeling good, real good. I could go now. Heard you fell down. Was that the first time you've fallen? Rocky: Well, without being punched. I'm gonna give you some more fluids. That should help you feel better. And we're gonna run some tests in the morning and get you out of here. Rocky: Can you do this fast? Because we got a lot of stuff to do. Adonis: Just relax. All right? Go to sleep. I'll check on you later. Thank you. Rocky: Gotta do it fast. We have to... Donnie, we gotta train. Adonis: Yeah, go to sleep. Rocky: You guys need any more help? No! We're good. Bianca: No, we're good, thank you! Rocky: You got it? What you need? Nothing. Rocky: Thought you got lost for a minute. I have not seen food that look like this in this house ever. Bianca: Yeah? Rocky: Yes. You know, usually everything I have has sauce or something on it. Adonis: Get some of these collard greens. Rocky: All right. You just... Adonis: Just a little bit? Rocky: Yeah, a little bit. Bianca, you're beautiful and I think you'll be a great singer. I think you're gonna be a great champ, like your father. Maybe even better. And for me, who's lucky enough to be knowing both of you guys. Here we go. Cent'anni. 100 years. Adonis: I'm honored. Rocky: Lucky me. Keep working on that shovel hook. Ah. Right, that's it. Now, I wanna throw the hook on the same side. So you come up on the right, you throw on the right. Very good. A little more vicious than that, little more power. Overdo it. Yeah! Very good. Hey, Rock. Yeah. Good. You're looking good. Are you getting jealous? Yeah, a little. It's for you. Rocky: Thanks. Hello? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, okay. All right, thanks. Dr Kathari; Mr. Balboa. Thanks for coming in on such short notice. Well, we went through your test results and your biopsy came back showing signs of large cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Rocky: What's that do? Dr Kathari: Well, it's a form of cancer. I know that sounds scary, but the good news is we caught it early. However, we will have to remove the tumor in your lymph nodes and start chemotherapy immediately. Rocky: My wife tried that. Kathari: Mr. Balboa, as far as options for treatment, this is the best plan of action. Rocky: No, I understand, but my wife tried that, and I don't think I wanna do it. Didn't turn out so good. But it's okay. Kathari: With treatment, you'll still have a very good chance of recovery. Without it... I'm okay with it, really. Kathari: Well, at least take these. It has information on your diagnosis and options for treatment. We can start... Rocky: Thank you very much. Listen, I'd appreciate if you wouldn't say nothing to nobody, okay? Oh, man! There's so much traffic, you wouldn't believe it. That senior bus was running late, huh? Hey, that's a cheap sht. It's the truth. Get in the ring. Hurry up and get ready. Adonis: I've been ready. Rocky: Good. Adonis: I've been waiting on you. Oh, come on, just put your gloves on and stop talking so much. We got a few things to do. It's all about you. Mmm-hmm. I already had my career. I did okay. What's your excuse? You got no excuse. Now is the time for you to rise to the occasion there. Adonis: Just gonna put my... Rocky: I can do it. Okay, all right. Now... I want you to always, always, always pay attention to yourself first. Right. If I'm not here to start with, just start moving around. Adonis: All right. Mouthpiece. Rocky: Know what I'm saying? Too many punches to the head, huh? Yeah, whatever, Coach. All right, get going there, champ. Bell. Boxer: Come on, Creed! Be first, Donnie. Come on! All right, Amir. Rocky: All right, champ. Don't work too hard. Adonis: This shit for real? Rocky: Doesn't matter. What you should be thinking about is that fight coming up. That's the only thing that should be on your mind, nothing else. What you mean, don't think about this? When you starting treatment? Rocky: I'm not doing no chemotherapy. No. If you don't jump on this quick, you're gonna end up dying. Rocky: I know. And you're all right with that? Rocky: I am. Man, you sound crazy, man. Give me the keys. I'll take you to the hospital right now. Rocky: I'm not crazy at all. If I could take everything that was good and put it into a bowl or something and say, "Hey! Here. I'd like to" "buy one more day with my wife," I'd do it. I would die a happy man, right then. Not gonna happen. So, everything I got has moved on and I'm here. But you know what? It's okay. Because I said to myself, "If I break, if I'm hurt, whatever." "I ain't gonna fix it. Why bother?" Adonis: And I'm just some bum just living in your crib, just nothing. Rocky: You're a good kid, a good fighter. But you got your whole future ahead of you. Mine? Back there, like all them guys on that wall. In the back, in the past. We're going nowhere. I am to you just an old trainer. That's what brought us together. You know? We're not a real family. That was just in our heads, kid. Oh, what'd you do? What'd you do? Why'd you say that? Boxing fan: Hey, what's up, Lil Creed? Adonis: It's good. Oh, hey! What's up, bro? Bianca: Hey! Adonis: What up? Bianca: Hi! You okay? Adonis: Yeah. How you doing? You good? Yeah, I'm good. I'm a little nervous. There's just a lot of people here, not really my crowd, you know? Adonis: Yeah, I can see. Look, it's the boxing boy, Lil Apollo Creed. I know his girl. What's up, Bianca? Bianca: Hey. You don't know nobody no more? Bianca: Nah, I said hello to you when I walked past. You didn't say nothing to me. Yeah, I bet you did. Stop acting light-skinned. Hey, man, why don't you come over here and grab this pic with me real quick for the 'Gram? Adonis: Yeah, that's cool. Come on, man. You know he busy, man. Welcome to my city, champ. There it is, Abbie. Believe dat. Hey, good looking, Baby Creed. Adonis: Don't call me that. Don't call you that? Don't call you what? You just called me "Baby Creed." I said, don't call me that. Hey, fam, dig this. I was showing you love, man. You ain't got to come off like that. Blanca: Yeah, that's cool, that's cool, that's all love. I know it's cool. You definitely know it's cool. Adonis: When you talking to me, you talking real tough, you feel me? Better talk to your little pretty boy boyfriend, man. Get a VIP pass next to your pop, talking to me like that. No! Hold up, ngga! Bianca: Donnie! Donnie! Donnie! Donnie! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I'll kll your ass! Donnie! Donnie! Rocky: How's he doing? He's all right now. Rocky: You know what happened? City jail cop: We had to separate him. He was fighting with the other inmates. Rocky: Oh, no. Anybody get hurt? City jail cop: Nah, nothing life-thrat. Rocky: All right, thank you. No problem, champ. Rocky: Yeah. Hey, Donnie. How you doing, son? I know a lot of cops and they said, "Your friend's locked up." Adonis: Friends? You're just a trainer to me, right? Rocky: I'm sorry about what I said to you, back at the gym. That was just me talking. I didn't mean it. You just stay away from me. Rocky: Listen, Donnie... Man, don't touch me. Come on, what... Get your hands off me, old man! Get your sick ass out of here! Leave! You here talking like you my family! You got my real family kll! Rocky: I ain't leaving till I tell you what's on my mind. You hate me, that's what it is. Or maybe you're mad with somebody who ain't here, Donnie, who can't defend himself. You know? Now, I understand what you're going through, young man. I've been there. And I know what it's like to feel abandoned, and be mad at everything. And you're a better person than that. Forgive him. Because there's nothing you can do about it. It's taking a toll on you. You're still caught in his shadow. You got to move, Donnie. Just leave, man. Let's go, Johnson. Adonis: Bianca! Bianca: Yo! Stop knocking on my door like the police. Adonis: Can you at least let me apologize? Bianca: No, it doesn't work like that. You apologize when you spill a drink on someone's shirt. But you asault the headliner to my show, a show I worked really hard to get. What if I came to your fight acting like an ass? Would that be cool with you? Nah, I didn't think so. Adonis: How'd you do though? You kll it? Yeah, we did good. Adonis: I messed that up and I gotta live with that, all right? But I never meant to let you down. Bianca: Then what did you mean to do, D? Just have a little ego contest? Adonis: Rocky's sick. He's got cancer. I ain't trying to make excuses for anything that I did, but I found out right before your show. Bianca: How bad is it? They want him to start chemo but, you know, he's too macho to do that. Bianca: Jesus. Well, maybe you can talk some sense into him. Adonis: I don't think he'd wanna hear anything I got to say. Bianca: Yeah, well, give him my love. Adonis: Hey, Bianca, don't close me out right now. Bianca: Look, we both got a lot going on right now so I think you should focus on yours and I'm gonna focus on mine. I'm sorry. Adonis: What's that mean? I get it, I messed up. I trusted you! Can you please not shut me out? I'm sorry, okay? I need you right now. Young dirt bike rider: ngga, what's up? Adonis: What's up? Hey, I heard you Apollo Creed's son. Adonis: Yeah. Young dirt bike rider:,That's what's up. Rocky: Look like you lost five pounds. You ought to sit down and eat. Adonis: I mean, what I look like? Letting you train me while you sit around and die? Just like any other fight. Rocky: This fight? I seen it before. It gets as bad as it can get and most of the time, you don't win it. Adonis: Yeah, but I don't care. I ain't training if you don't get the treatment. So if I fight, you fight. Rocky; Hey. Adonis: What's up? Rocky: You been to the gym? Adonis: Nah, I've been here. Rocky: Okay. Here you go. Remember this? Get up. Ready? Adonis: What's... I want you to shadow box. This is a nice room, let's see you move around. Adonis: You're serious? Rocky: Want me to do it for you? Adonis: No. It's all good. Rocky: Yeah, ready? Come on. Time! There you go. We used to do that with one hand. I don't wanna say anything though. Two... Don't ht the lady. She'll probably drop you. Adonis: All right. Come on, almost there. Come on, Unc. Rocky: Oh, God. Come on, let's go. Yeah, yes! That's your thing, yes! More! Yes! Adonis: One. Two? The deal was two! I can't, no. I'm dizzy. Double jab. Step on right under there. Rocky: Good. At least we got the speed. We just need him to sit down so when he hits something, he breaks it. Good. Step with it, you gotta step with it. Come on! Little bit more. Little bit more, dig down. Good. Good. Keep it right. Yes! Adonis: Look, he's doing the same thing. Rocky: Yeah, he does, it looks that way. But I think he's got something up his sleeve for you. Wow, beautiful. Dirt bike rider: Yo, you going to see Rock? Yeah, let's go! We got you! Let's go! Make history, Creed! Let's go! Adonis: What up? Come on, y'all! Let's ride! Come on! That's what I like, man! Dirt bike rider: Let's go see Rock on Front Street! Ride with me! You wanna say hello? Rocky: Place looks like a church. Adonis: Yeah, feel like an art museum. Rocky: Yeah, beautiful. The fight starts in about two minutes. As soon as he shows up, he's gonna start on you. Okay. Don't let him get to you. Okay, great. Thank you all for coming. Let's get straight into questions. Uh, young lady to the left. Reporter:,Conlan, can we expect any more fireworks at the weigh-in? I've been doing some anger management classes and trying to control that temper of mine. Tommy: I just gotta make sure he forgets it all by Saturday night. Okay, next question. Young man in the glasses. Reporter: What about the contrast between you two? You, the overnight success versus. Conlan's rags to riches background. Adonis: Nothing happened overnight. I've been fighting for some time now... Ricky: That's exactly how it happened for this guy. He's an overnight success, never had a damn fight in his life. He's got this sht because he found that name last night. One more. There's a lot of talk about legacy in this fight. Johnson, can you speak to that? Adonis: Yeah, I've been working on trying to build my own legacy. Legacy? Are we at some kind of comedy club? The guy next to him, now that's what we're talking about legacy. And I'm cut from that cloth. Don't fall for it. My father worked on the docks. His father was heavyweight champion of the world. People like Silver Spoon over there... Adonis: You don't know nothing about me. Ricky: I know enough about you. I'm here now though. You found yourself here. I'm here now. You a false Creed. All right, I'll show you right now. My pops ain't here. Sit down! You wanna fight here? I'll do it right now! I can do it right now, bitch! We can do it right now! "Creed" my asshle! Keep it down! Yo, you okay? Good? Rocky: Yeah, I'm all right. Okay, we'll see what's up. I'm gonna knock that smile off your face. Yo, Donnie, it's Rock. Unc, you okay? Rocky: Yeah, I'm good. Just couldn't sleep. Yeah, me either. Rocky: Is it okay I sit down? Course. Rocky:,Donnie... I'd like you to do me a favor when all this is over. Yeah, anything. Okay, good. It's not important but just... I wanna lock it in, okay? Yeah, you got it. There you go. Adonis:,You okay, huh? Yeah, why? Adonis: No, you keep looking at the door. No! Mmm-mmm. Do you hear something? Adonis: No. Rocky: Who is that? I don't know. Rocky: How you doing, Bianca? What are you doing here? Adonis: Y'all two are kll me. Rocky: Oh, and listen. Would you guys just keep... Bianca: We know. Rocky: Leg thing. Yeah. The legs, yeah. It's important. Got you. Adonis: You wanna come in? Yeah. Adonis: Please. I got it. Good. All right. All right. A lot of room. Adonis: Didn't we have enough surprises for one weekend? Bianca: That's not me. Rocky: Very nice colors. Why don't you take 'em into the other room and see how well they fit. Yeah. Hey, champ. All right, Donnie. I'm proud of you. That's gonna bring him luck. You never been in front of this many people before, right? That don't matter. You've never been this far away from home. That don't matter. What matters is what you leave in that ring and what you take back with you. You know what that is? Pride. And knowing that you did your best. And you're doing it for yourself. Not for me, not your father's memory, but for you. I can see in your eyes you're gonna do it. Let's go now. Padman. Pad man: Fight's right here. Let's go. Rocky: Yeah. Pad man: Left hook combination. Yeah. Come on, man. There you go! Go up top. All right, guys, it's time. Let's go win a championship! It's time, baby. Let's go, guys. Come on, man. Let's go. Rocky: I'd always get nervous during times like this, but that's normal, and it's gonna give you energy. Pretty normal. Very normal. Go up there and show him who you are! Crowd: Conlan! This is what you wanted, and what you got. And I want you to enjoy it, okay? Do that. Crowd: Conlan! Conlan! Jim Lampley: Hello again. I'm Jim Lampley. Here comes Ricky Conlan. 100,000 on their feet for what may conceivably be his last walk to the ring for a professional fight. Max Kellerman, what chance does the young American have? Max Kellerman: He's got the name. That's why he's here tonight. Does he have the game? He's Apollo Creed's son, he's got Rocky Balboa in his corner. But all the legends in the world can't help him tonight if he can't fight. The question is, can he fight? Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Goodison Park here in Liverpool, England, where tonight this is the main event. Twelve rounds of boxing for the light heavyweight championship of the world. For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world, ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble! In the red corner, wearing the stars and stripes, his professional record, 16 fights 16 victories. The challenger, Adonis "Hollywood" Creed! And fighting out of the blue corner, wearing black with blue, with 36 fights, 28 KOs, he's the light heavyweight champion of the world, "Pretty" Ricky Conlan! Rocky: Okay, let's go. Adonis: Mmm-hmm. Referee: How you doing, lads? You know what I expect of you both. We talked about it in the locker rooms. I want you to protect yourselves and obey my commands at all times. No low blows, no silly business. Keep it clean, will you? Understand? Touch gloves. Ricky: Nice shorts, boy. Too bad your daddy ain't here to fight in them. Rocky: You know what? You're gonna close his big mouth, okay? You know what to do. Adonis: Mmm-hmm. Rocky: One step, one punch, one round at a time. You got this. Jim: Round one begins. "Pretty" Ricky Conlan in the black trunks, and Adonis Creed in the red, white and blue. Conlan is significantly taller and thinks it will be easy to use his jab to keep young Creed at bay. You can see right away, Jim, how much more relaxed Conlan is. He's been there before. Move your head! Keep your left up! That kind of nervous energy can wear you out as the fight goes on. Hard left hook by Conlan. Creed backs off. It's not easy to just jump right into the major leagues like this, having never fought an opponent like Conlan. Of course, there aren't many fighters like Conlan. Jim: Creed trying to get close to Conlan, against the ropes. Conlan easily puts distance between them again. Creed lands a jab, Conlan grins at it. Conlan fires a hard body punch, hits him hard with a right cross and backs Creed into the ropes. Rocky: Break! Ref, come on! Referee: Keep it clean! And he gets a warning from the referee. Creed kinda woke him up with that sht and Conlan really made him pay for it. Creed ready to let his hands go. Creed misses and gets ht in return. To your corner! One! Perfect uppercut on the inside. Down goes Creed. Two! Three! Four! Adonis: I'm good. I'm good! Five! Six! I'm good! Rocky: Shake it off! But already a knockdown for Ricky Conlan. Are you okay? Mmm-hmm. Are you sure? I'm good! Fight! Conlan lands a sht after the bell, and round one was all Ricky Conlan. Real for you now, boy? Real for you now? How's the eye? Little bloody. All right, look. Don't get rattled. Ricky: I'm gonna knock his ass out. Tommy: Do it in the next round. Don't wait. You keep making mistakes like that, we're gonna pick you up with a vacuum cleaner, okay? Adonis was lucky there wasn't another 30 seconds in that round. Come on, baby. What you doing? Rocky: Here's what I want you to do. He's gonna jab and throw the right. When he leaves it out there, drop that right hook and smash him, okay? Stay focused. So round one was a forbidding experience for young Adonis Creed. And now, after a discussion with Rocky Balboa between rounds, he comes in for more. Conlan showed his power with the uppercut at the end of round one, goes back to boxing to begin the second. Be first! Tommy: Keep the pressure on, Rick! Jim: Logic says Creed needs to find a way to get inside of Conlan's long arms and create pressure on the inside. Come on! Come on! So far, it's still mostly Ricky Conlan. Hard left hook for Conlan, uppercut. Bianca: Keep your hands up! Drives Creed into the corner again. Tie him up! Creed wraps him up and pulls him in to stop the onslaught. Adonis: You the champ, right, huh? You the champ? Show me. Come on! There's a perfect right-hand sht by Creed! Yeah! Yes! Jim: Creed misses wildly, and they are going toe-to-toe. Rapidly becoming a phone booth fight! Go! Go! Trading punches, right hand, left hand! Both guys landing! This is unbelievable action! Double hook! Come on! Hard right hand by Creed. You bleed just like me! Go to your corners! Come on! You bleed just like me! Man! That ain't shit! He loves it! If Conlan thought he had a pushover, he knows better now! He bleed like me! Rocky: You belong in here! They don't know what you've been through and they sure don't know what we've been through. Tommy: I don't want you trading blows with him. I want you to protect yourself. Keep your distance! Ricky: I'm gonna smash this kid to bits. Rocky: Now he knows you're for real. You gotta believe you can do it. That was such a big round for Creed. Not just on the scorecards but psychologically going forward, Jim. You woke up a sleeping giant. He's gonna come after you with everything he's got. Adonis, looking more and more comfortable against the champ seems to have found his rhythm. Go finish him off. This has devolved into a slugfest! One punch at a time! Come on, D! Conlan trying to punish Creed at short range. Finish him now! Big combination to end the third by Conlan and Creed does not know where he is, walking to the wrong corner there. Adonis: His arm is long. Rocky: Because you're playing his game, Donnie. Be patient. One step, one punch. Adonis: One round at a time. Rocky: There you go. One step, one punch, one round at a time. Round five of a scheduled 12 and already it's a far different fight than most experts expected. He's just a pretender. He's lucky to be in the same ring with you hitting him. Remember that. Adonis Creed has succeeded in pressuring Ricky Conlan and making him fight. Creed has proven plenty in this fight. He's taken it, he's given it back. But he does not look like a match for the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. Rocky: You're going through hell out there but you're hurting him, too. I can see it in his eyes. You're not as far behind as you think. Shorten that jab, shorten the distance, get underneath him, and you'll be able to rip him. You gotta push him back. Most critics didn't think Creed could make it this far. Rocky: Donnie, step under! Yes! Tommy: Come on, Ricky! There are moments when Creed is assertively taking over. But there's a hard counter right, drives Creed back into the corner. Just when it appears Creed might be taking control. Conlan comes close to knocking him down. Tommy: Use that pressure. You are the one that's in the driving seat. He's not used to this level, all right? Rocky: Get 'em on the rope. Get 'em on the rope! Deep breath. Adonis: Boy's fast. Hey! It's you against you. Adonis: Me against me. That's right. He's just in your way. Got it. Rocky: Get him out of the way! Let's go! Not only is young Adonis Creed still in the ring, he may be in the fight. Hard left hand by Creed. Conlan was an overwhelmingly heavy favorite pounding young Creed with right hands as you saw right there. Rocky: Bring back everything that's ever hurt you. All the pain you had inside, everything that held you back. Put it in both fists, and I want you to drive it through his body and I promise you, his head will fall. We're into the part of the fight where all your instincts come into play. Most experts expected that Conlan would avoid trading shts with Creed but he's trading willingly. Creed fires a hard body punch. Conlan in trouble! Hard left hand to the body. Oh, yeah! The champ is in bad shape, Jim. Creed realized he has a better chance of hurting Conlan to the body than to the head! - What an uppercut! No! And Creed staggers back. Rocky: Body! Body! To the body, trading shts! Pawing with his jab, Creed looks to land one big sht. Move your legs! Rocky: Donnie, get up! Bianca: Get up, D! Mary Anne: Come on, baby. Stitch! Creed just got up like a man possessed. You okay? Look at me! - He was out! Donnie! Jim: Down but not out. Conlan thinks he's celebrating a knockout. Get down! He's getting up! Jim: But the referee is dusting Creed's gloves. You're good. Creed bat the count and the action begins again. That's the heart of a champion. He has his daddy's heart, I'll tell you that much. Donnie, be ready! More work to do for Conlan. Body sht. Body sht. Trying to set Creed up one more time. Rocky: Tie him up, for Christ's sake! Stitch has done a great job over that right eye but now the left eye looks like it's almost shut. Closing up. Bianca: Rock, is he okay? You have to go back to... Rocky: Stay there, Bianca, it's okay. Bianca: I'm cool, man, I'm cool! I'm good. You're good? Yeah, man, all right? You sure about that? I am. I'm good. He's taken a lot of punishment to both the body and the head. Left eye completely closed. Rocky: I'm gonna stop this thing. No! Referee: Let me see the eye. Time! Doc, give him a look! Referee: All right. Show me your eye. Show me your eye, Adonis! How many fingers? How many fingers? How many, Adonis? Adonis: Four. Referee: And again. Two. Time in! All right. Breathe through your mouth. Tommy: Deep breaths, kid, deep. You are up on the cards, you're winning this. You are gonna win this! But just keep smart and keep away from him. Ricky: He's going to sleep this time. He's going out this round. Rocky: I should've stopped the fight with your father. I'm stopping this one now. Adonis: Don't, okay? Let me finish. I gotta prove it. Rocky; Prove what? Adonis: I'm not a mistake. Rocky: Look at me. I never got a chance to thank Apollo for helping me out after Mickey died. But it's nothing compared to what you've done. You taught me how to fight again and I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna fight this thing. But if I fight, I want you to fight, too. I want you to go across this ring and knock that son of a bitch down. Can you do it? Say it. Adonis: I'm gonna knock that son of a bitch down. Rocky: I know you are. You know why? Because you're a Creed and I love you, kid. Adonis: I love you too. Rocky: Go on. All right, baby, let's go. Go get him, Donnie! Round 12 begins. Virtually no one outside of Adonis Creed's family and group of friends would ever have expected to see him in a 12th round against "Pretty" Ricky Conlan and trading shts as they come to these last three minutes. And there's a hard left hook upstairs. Yeah! Every time you wanna say it's the beginning of the end the other guy comes through with a sht you can't believe. Hard right hand by Conlan. Come on! Don't sit there! They're trading shts in the kind of back and forth action that most of us didn't expect to see. Creed getting ht with some hard shts but landing some of his own, and Adonis is fring back! Another pitched battle between the two warriors. Ricky, nail him! Come on, kid! Creed spins, puts the champ in the corner! Body! Body! Throwing body shts like he's Rocky Balboa! Going upstairs like he's Apollo Creed! Knock his ass out! Closing seconds of the fight! Ricky! That's what I'm talking about! Conlan is down! That is the first time in his career he's been on the canvas. You cannot be saved by the bell in the 12th and final round. Ricky, get up! Stay down! Stay down! Six! - Dramatic count in Liverpool. Seven! Eight! He must get up to preserve his chance to win the fight. Are you all right? I'm okay. Look at me! I'm all right! He's up! What? The bell sounds, so Conlan survives the 12th round! What a finish! If that round goes another 30 seconds, we may have a new champion. An unforgettable fight on an unforgettable night! He's no longer just the namesake of Apollo Creed, he's the living embodiment. Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for these two warriors in the ring! To the winner by split decision and still the undefeated champion of the world... You did great, kid. "Pretty" Ricky Conlan! Donnie, you were robbed. If this fight had been 10 seconds longer... 10 seconds longer... Ricky: Creed. You go and get it, chum. You the future of this division. You wear that name with pride. Respect. Congratulations, Adonis, on a sensational effort. Adonis: I just wanna thank my mom. She's at home. I love you. Even though I know she's mad at me for doing this. Hopefully I made her proud. Mary Anne: You almost gave me a heart attck but I'm proud of you. Adonis: I got my family right here. Without them, none of this would've been possible. Rocky, Apollo Creed's son looks at you and says family. What does that mean to you? Rocky: It means I'm a lucky guy. What can I say, right, kid? He's a real fighter, and he's helping me fight a few things, so I appreciate it. I really do. Adonis, I know you never met your father. But if he was here tonight, what would you wanna say to him? Adonis: I'll just tell him that I love him and I know he didn't leave me on purpose. And I'm proud to be a Creed. Thanks, Adonis, and congratulations on a sensational performance. Jim. Crowd: Creed! Creed! Creed! Go on. Talk to them. Go on! Jim: This crowd is up on its feet. No one wants to leave the arena. Everyone in here knows they've seen something special. A fight they'll never forget. Ricky Conlan wins the fight. Adonis Creed wins the night. Adonis: This is it? Rocky: Yeah. I just wanna see if I can get up these steps. Adonis: When's the first time you came here? Rocky: I was 12. I think it's my favorite place. When you get to the top you think you can fly. Adonis: Almost there. You got this. Come on, young man. Rocky: Just let me catch my breath. Adonis: Come on, no breaks. We rest at the top. Just a minute. Adonis: Nah, this is what you asked for, right? Let's go. One step at a time. Yeah. Come on. Rocky: One step at a time. Who told you that? Adonis: Some old guy. Rocky: You know I meant that for you, not for me. I think they added a few more steps. I don't know. Almost there. I'm gonna take these last two. One more step. How you feeling? Rocky: Oh, good. Really good. Adonis: You all right there, old man? Rocky: Yeah. Nice view. If you look hard enough, you can see your whole life from up here. Adonis: How does it look? Not bad at all. And you? Adonis: Not bad at all. Rocky: You see this guy here staring back at you? That's your toughest opponent. Every time you get into the ring, that's who you're going against. I believe that in boxing and I do believe that in life, okay? Adonis: Nobody showed me how to do this. I'm ready.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Creed (2015)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
[BRAKES SCREECH] [DlSPATCHER SPEAKlNG lNDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO] Riggs, Homicide. COP: Nobody's dad. RIGGS: Night's young. This is Sergeant Murtaugh. -thrat or scare? -The real thing. This gentleman saw the device. On Level 1 , near the gas pumps. I wrote the license plate down. That's okay, sir. Thanks a lot. -Have you evacuated the building? -lt's clean. -bmb squad? -On their way. -lt's under control. Let's go. -bmb squad? Rog, I think we ought to check this out. -Hey. Hey, hey, hey, Riggs. -What? -bmb squad's on their way. -There's no bmb. -How can you be sure? -Because it's a full moon. Moon, lunar, lunatics. They're everywhere. -Hey, is that Greek? -No, no. Latin. Latin. Man, you surprise the shit out of me. There's no bmb. It's probably a false alarm. It happens. Probably saw a radio on the back seat. Hey, hey. Let's not mess with this. Wait for the bmb squad. You're right. You sit tight, I'll be right back. -Hey, hey, hey, Riggs. -What's the matter with you? -There's a bmb in that building. -There's not. -There's a bmb! -There is not. There's a bmb in that building! Know how come I know? -How? -l got eight days to retirement. And l will not make a stupid mistake. There is no bmb. I will bet vital parts of my anatomy to the fact. Now, look. Look. Trust me. Okay? Trust me. That's usually my first mistake. -Hey, Riggs. RIGGS: Yo. MURTAUGH: Hey, wait. l'm coming. RIGGS: Hey, Rog? MURTAUGH: Yeah? RIGGS: Your insurance paid up? MURTAUGH: Yeah, of course. Why? RIGGS: There could be a bmb in here. MURTAUGH: Oh, God. [RlGGS SlGHS] I hate it when I'm right. [TlMER BEEPlNG] -You ought to learn to trust your instincts. -Oh, God. First impression can often be the right one. Leak in his diff. About to drop his drive shaft. No wonder there's a bmb. Just don't touch it. Just looking. Right. What are you gonna do? Don't open the door. Don't open the door! Son of a bitch, just look at it. -Just look at it. -That's all I'm gonna do, is look. Oh, my. There's more plastic than Cher. I love this job. This is amateur night. Open the door. l can't hear you. Open the door. Don't do nothing. Not that one! Mm-mm! You son of a bitch. Well, this is a pretty shonky job. I can dismantle it. It looks like Beirut to me. Let's get the hell out of here. [THUDS] [SIGHS] Everybody's outside. Just me, you and this cat are dumb enough to be here. Nearly a cat-tastrophe, huh? Heh. -Relax, Rog. Relax. Right. -Don't do nothing. We got nine minutes and seven seconds left. -Know what we could do? -What? -We could drive this out. -Fine, it's your turn to drive. No keys. Tsk, tsk. l could hot-wire it. Aah! Don't even say "hot-wire" around this stuff, man. -You're right, you're right. -Why am l doing this? Why am I--? Looks like we're gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way. Riggs, what are you thinking? What are you thinking, Riggs? Riggs. -l'm thinking we should cut the blue wire. -Wait! -That's not what I think. -You think red? No. No. I'm thinking that it's eight minutes and 42 seconds. We can go upstairs, wait for the bmb squad, have a cappuccino. The bmb squad never gets here on time. It's eight minutes and 31 seconds. -Rog, please. -Forget the cappuccino. -You know what they're gonna say? -"Get the fck out of here." After that, they're gonna say, "Cut the blue wire," which l'm gonna do right now. -Hey, hey. Wait, wait. Riggs. Wait. -What? -How can you be so sure? -Oh, it's just a hunch. -A hunch? -Remember the bmb under your toilet? -Oh, shit. How could l forget? -Red wire, blue wire, same thing. This is more simplified. A bit more powerful, but more simplified. -From where l was sitting, l couldn't see. -Forget it. Come on, trust me. Yeah, so I gotta trust you? Guess not. Well, l'm cutting the red wire, okay? Oh! Oh! -What? What? -A minute ago you said blue. -Did l say blue? -Riggs, you said blue. -Well, l meant red. -You sure? We can do it your way if you'd like. -My way? l don't have--! -Quiet! -l'm sure, okay? -Shit. RIGGS: You ready? -Rog? -What? Won't you kind of miss all this good stuff when you retire? Aren't you gonna miss it a little bit? Huh? [CHUCKLES] I'm cutting the wire. Snip. See? All done. [BEEPlNG RAPlDLY] -Rog. -Yeah? -Grab the cat. -Grab the cat? RIGGS: Get back! Take cover! [BOTH SCREAMING] [BOTH PANTING] POLlCEMAN 1 : Where are they? [CAT MEOWS] Bravo. Oops. Right. Oops. Right. [CAT MEOWS] Seven days to retirement, I'm busted down to patrolman. I should've cut the red wire. -You did. -No, I didn't. l cut the blue wire. That's what l meant. We should've waited for the bmb squad. Am l gonna have to listen to this? -Every day until l retire. -That'll be a week too long. Ah, shit. -My feet are klling me. -They're klling me too. -How? -l gotta listen to you bitch about them! -Because you should've cut the red wire! -l did cut the red wire! What's this? lt's kind of soft. It's not a bulletproof vest. -lt's not gonna keep anything out. -Gonna keep my stomach in. What do you got under there? -lt's a girdle. -What? Oh, God. lt's a girdle. Trish know about this? Not a woman's girdle, a man's girdle. -They make girdles for men? -They make girdles for men. -They do, huh? -Yeah, they do. I haven't worn this uniform in 1 5 years. Cleaners must have shrunk it. Well, you should take it to Chin. I did take it to Chin over in Alpine. Look at it. It's shrunk all up in here. [CAR HORN HONKlNG] -Have to hold my breath. -Did you see that? -See what? -Jaywalker. Jaywalking? Hold it right there, pal. Step up here, please. -Me? -Yes, you. -What did l do? -Stand there. What'd you do? Jaywalking. I saw you. l have to cite you. Jaywalking? Oh, Jesus, come on. Can you handle this or should l radio for backup? -Got the ticket book? -People are committing crimes... -...and you're hassling me? -Shut up! Yeah. Oh! -Do you know how to fill one of these out? -A long time ago. Let me see. Can't read it. The print is little. -Without my glasses. -You're no help. Can we speed this up? You may have nothing to do. l have things to do. No, we can't, so will you shut up? -Jaywalking. -Ask for his license. -License for jaywalking? -Yeah, jaywalking. I don't have it on me, okay? I wasn't driving, okay? I was walking. What, do l need a walking license now? -Oh, let's just sht him. -Oh, oh, oh, what is he crazy? I'm gonna drill him. We can make it look like su1c1de. -Get out of the way! -No, no, no. The video cameras. I don't care! I'm gonna drill him! Get out of here, before my partner kills you! Go that way, not that way! This way! Over there! -Go, run! Now! Run! MURTAUGH: Right there, yeah. [BOTH LAUGH] MAN: Hey. Hey! Hey, wait a minute. You forgot to sign. -Hey. -What's that? MAN: Wait a minute. You forgot to sign the form. Hey, who are you? You're not the regular guy. COURlER: He's on vacation. MAN: On vacation? Well, who the hell is that? Get in the truck! Get! [GRUNTS] [PEOPLE SCREAMING] [GRUNTS] You fcking prick! [TlRES SQUEAL] MURTAUGH: Riggs! Riggs! WOMAN: Are you all right? [BOTH GRUNTlNG] -Hey, are you a cop? -Yeah. Fourteen-sixty. Into pursuit. Will continue transmission. MAN: Call 91 1 . All right, honey. Let me drive. We're in pursuit. I'm driving, baby! Don't worry. [TlRES SQUEAL] This fool picked the wrong time to mess with the wrong lady. All right. Just stay close. Hey, hey, hey. Right behind you, baby. That's right. Take a good look. Delores the Road Warrior is dad on your raggedy ass. Ram him! Ram him! -Watch out, Riggs. -Come on! [SCREAMS] -Are you married, sugar? -What? Yeah, 24 years. -Yeah, 24 years. -Yeah, but is it working? -Hey, you can't get closer? -l am. l'm getting closer. Hold on, Riggs! Hold on! MURTAUGH: Hey, hey! -Hold on! Hold on! We got you. Hold on! -l told you l could do it. MURTAUGH: Closer! RIGGS: Get me up there. -Yeah, get up close. I am. l am, all right? -Back off, back off! -Aah! [GRUNTS] [BRAKES SCREECH] -lf he falls, don't ht him. -Don't worry. I got something for you. [SINGlNG lNDISTINCTLY] [SINGlNG] [CAR HORNS HONKlNG] Whoa! Ooh, hoo-hoo! Thanks for the interest, sugar, but one thing at a time. [DRIVER SCREAMlNG] [TRUCK HORN BLARlNG] -Catch him, catch him. -All right. [DELORES SINGlNG] Keep singing, baby. Just stay close. Relax, baby. Relax, baby. Ho! Ho! Ho! Hey, keep your hands off my thigh. -My partner's in trouble. Watch out for him. -l got him! [BRAKES SCREECH] -Boy, I'm getting too old for this shit. -Not for me, you're not, sugar. You have the right to remain unconscious. Anything you say ain't gonna be much. [TRUCK HORN HONKS] MURTAUGH: Hey, Riggs. You all right? -Ha! I'm okay. I think we gotta book this guy for not wearing his seat belt though. Hey, that was dynamite driving. -No, she's the dynamite driver. -l'll show you dynamite. RIGGS: Whoo! -Sure enough. Whoo! -What have you two been up to? -What do you mean? We were in pursuit. -l saw you kiss her. -No, I didn't. She kissed me. It looked mutual. Wipe that lipstick off before the guys at the station start talking. Hey, go spit, Riggs. [DRIVER GROANlNG] You okay? You all right? Back to bed. Back to bed. -Morning, guys. Daddy. MURTAUGH: Hey. Hey, how about treating your dad to breakfast today, okay? -You got six more days to go. -Laundry service. TRlSH: Hold this. Hangers? I'm springing for the soap. Nothing too fancy. That's a cute dog. -lt's a Westie. -Morning. Westie? -Morning, Trish. TRlSH: Hey. Morning, Rog. -Hey, Nick. -Spare me. -What? Didn't you brush your teeth? TRlSH: Hold it, mister. I'm just looking for some orange juice. Don't get fingerprints on the door, and put the glass in the dishwasher. -Did somebody commit a mrder? -Somebody's coming to see the house. Oh. Hey, l think a little mess adds to the charm. [TlRES SQUEAL] How's this, huh? This great? Okay? Okay? [PHONE RlNGS] Kelly's Pool Hall. Kelly speaking. Yeah, right, Kelly. Hi, let me speak to Dad. Oh, hi, honey. How are you? I thought I asked you not to call me here. -lt's for you, Rog. MURTAUGH: Me? Hmm? Uh, who are--? Who is it? Hello? RIANNE: Hi. lt's my first day at work. -Gonna come wish me luck? -Rianne? LEO: Beautiful, huh? -Come on, come on, check it out. WOMAN: Beautiful lawn. It's great. See how quiet it is here? Listen, listen. That great? Come on. -Very quiet. -The inside's better than the outside. TRlSH: lt's the people to look at the house. -And our broker. Okay, okay. Just wanna make sure. I gotta show you this room first. This is my favorite. This is great. -Okay? l love it. That it? That say it all? WOMAN: Oh, yeah. -Beautiful. -Very nice. Oh, l love that picture window. Shh. Shh. Shh. LEO: You do? It's been completely replaced. MAN: Oh, why was that? A drug dealer came through with his car and crashed right in. sht up the whole place. Shh. Son of a bitch. I'm gonna cut him off at the-- -Ha, ha! Leo. -Oh, ha. Drug dealer. It's true. Hey, it's true. True. Okay, anyway, look. Like the drapes? Maybe she'll leave the drapes. MURTAUGH: Hey, I thought you quit, huh? -l did. -You'll stink up the house. Don't smoke. -l'm edgy. -You're edgy? Here. MAN: That stuff about the drug dealer.... Chew on these. LEO: Listen, l have to tell you these things, okay? It's the law. It's called full disclosure. Anything else you wanna disclose before we go on? [SCOFFS] Okay, now that you mention it, the bathroom has been completely remodeled... ...due to unexpected bmb damage. Hey, hey, hey, come on. It's okay. -Son of a bitch. I'm gonna-- TRlSH: Shh. Shh. -Don't. You'll never sell-- TRlSH: Shh. Okay, okay. So, uh, we saw enough of the kitchen. Let me show you upstairs. Wait till you see this. lt's beautiful. You're really gonna love this. MURTAUGH: They're gone. Leo Getz, I guess I'm gonna kll him. Son of a bitch. l'm gonna kll him! I'm gonna kll him! RIGGS: Don't-- MURTAUGH: He's trying to ruin me, Riggs. -Hey, Leo, you got-- -They weren't gonna buy the house! -Yeah, you scared them away. -No, they couldn't afford the financing. -Oh, Jesus. -Okay, relax. I had to tell them everything. It's the law, okay? I mean, full disclosure. -You must have heard of it. -l'm a cop. l'm the law. -Ah! -Ow! -Get off me! What is it with you? LEO: Hold it. Okay, okay. At least he didn't tell them about that nail-gn incident. -Oh.... -l forgot. Did you have a permit when you built over the garage? -Permit? -You know what l'll do? Hold it. Leo's here. l'll take care of it. I'll make a couple calls. We'll get some back-dated permits. -Which phone can I use? -Uh, sunroom. Sunroom. -Okay, okay, okay. l got you. -Jesus Christ. -lt's gotta be easier than this. LEO: They don't know Leo Getz. You could do with less aggravation. Come to work with me. Yeah. Thank you, Leo. Son of a bitch. Stop fronting yourself. You know what l'm saying? Swing with me and my crew. That's the move. [HlP-HOP MUSIC PLAYlNG OVER CAR STEREO] Forget school. Oh, man. Here comes your pops, man. -Later, man. -All right, I gotcha. -All right, bro. I'm out, man. DARRYL: Next time, G. Peace, bro. NElGHBOR: Morning, Rog. MURTAUGH: How you doing? NICK: How you doing, Mr. Fisher? NElGHBOR: Hey, Nick. Hey, Nick. -Uh, wasn't that Darryl? -Yeah. Haven't seen him around in a while. -He dropped out of school. -Those are pretty gng colors he's wearing. Yeah, l know. Hey, Nick. -Yeah, Dad. -Be good. Word. Hey, word, Nick. Word. -Word, Riggs. -Word, Rog. -What are we talking about? -Word. Starts with a W, "or" in the middle, D on the end. -Word. Oh, yeah, that word. -Where you been? -Word. -Word. JACK: Hey, Tyrone, my man, how are you? TYRONE: Jack, how's it going? -Let's take a walk. -Hey, wait here for me. Look around. This is my dream and it's all coming true. You sank your money into this, out here in the middle of the fcking desert? That's right. Know why it's gonna be a gold mine? Do tell me. Because nobody wants to live next door to people like you. You're a menace. Jack, I came out here to do business, not be insulted by you. Relax, Tyrone. Just like houses, friendships need strong foundations. Hey, Smitty, come here. Come here. What's wrong with you? Don't l pay you good? Don't l take care of you? Sure you do, Jack. What's this stupid business you and Billy tried to pull? -lt was a good plan. It worked. -lt worked? It didn't work. You got nailed first time out. Nobody who works for me goes into business for themselves. Understand what l'm saying? See how that can jeopardize everything? Right, Tyrone? Heh, heh, whatever. JACK: Especially trying to pop an armored car. Okay, Billy got caught. There's nothing I can do about that now. He's gonna have to face the music on his own. But you and me, Smitty, we're gonna start over. You know what l mean? -Whatever you say, Jack. -Good. Glad you understand what I'm talking about. [SMlTTY GRUNTlNG] Now we got a relationship we can build on. -Employee problems. You know how it is? -Yeah, right. You invest time and energy into training somebody. They get greedy and do something stupid that jeopardizes everything. It's a bitch. Stick around. This is the good part. We can put our initials in there. Yeah? TYRONE: Jesus Christ. [LAUGHS] RIGGS: Lankershim and Vineland. Where are we going, Rog? MURTAUGH: Uh, right here. Rianne's got a new job. l promised her I'd stop by. RIGGS: That's a good reason. MURTAUGH: All right. Here we are. -You got any silver, any change? -We're cops. That's right, we're cops. Not crooks. I'll get change. [WOMAN SCREAMS] MAN: Where are you going? Get down! Get down! All of you, get down! [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] [GRUNTS] Riggs! Riggs! [RlANNE SCREAMS] How do you like that, huh? What are you doing with a rubber gn? -No! This is a film. There are not-- -What? Cut, cut, cut! Who the fck is this lunatic? -Get him off my set. ACTOR: This isn't part of the story. DIRECTOR: Can we get a cop? ACTOR: Where did you come from? Jesus. Who are you? Rianne, l'm so sorry. I feel like a microbe right now. -You really thought l was in trouble? RIGGS: Oh, I did. -You did? -A real cop. Go sit in your fcking trailer. What is wrong with you? Are you an idiot? I apologize. -He's a friend of mine, a policeman. -Yeah, we're both here to visit-- Oh, he's a friend of yours? Let me tell you something, okay? You're fired. All right. Have a nice day. Fired? Riggs, what did you do? -You're not fired. Don't worry. -No, you're not. Take it easy, Riggs. You can't fre her for something I did. I don't care whose mistake it was. She's fired. RIGGS: l apologize to everybody. -Don't push him. -Don't push. -All of you, go! Just take it easy. Don't push him. Don't push. DIRECTOR: Get off my set, all right? What are you, deaf? Go. Move. Get off my set. On any normal day, I'd smack you in the mouth. -ls that so? -Don't ht him. It's a normal day. I'm sorry. Listen, are you okay? I'm sorry. God, I'm all thumbs. Look, he fell down. Let me help you up. I said don't ht him, Riggs. RIGGS: ls she fired? DIRECTOR: Yes, she's fired. -ls she fired? -No. RIGGS: She got a raise? -lt's all right. -Yes. I said yes. Thank you. -Good. -Rianne, l think you have a new friend here. -Yeah. We'd like you to come back. [CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDlNG] All right. You can't settle every problem with your fists. -l couldn't use my gn. There was a crowd. -Okay, six more days. Look, l don't wanna hear that anymore. Hey, did Rianne get her job back? Did she get a raise? Did she? I don't hear a "thank you." Maybe I should, uh, become one of those Hollywood agents. What do you think? -Hmm. Won't work. -Why? -You gotta have kller instinct. -Heh. Son of a bitch. -We should've put the bag on the meter. -Put it in the glove compartment. -No, no. I don't do that anymore. -Oh, yeah? Good man. No, it's full up already. Put it in the back seat. -You really like those things, huh? -What, these? Yeah, it's good. Hey, you know, you can eat a box of them. I'm still dying for a cigarette. [CHUCKLES] -What, you cut yourself shaving? -Yeah. -Old razor? -Old face. I think you're really letting this retirement thing get you down, Rog. Why don't you spend a couple more years, think it over. Why quit? -l got plans for my retirement. -Yeah, plans. -l do. Big plans. -Sure. Big plans? -l had them for a long time. -Like what? Like, uh.... -Uh, hey, things, man. Okay, yeah, huh? -Things. Things. Yeah, yeah. Things I've put off too long. -Those things. l got those things too. -Yeah, Riggs. Right. I can see you've given this a lot of thought, Rog, actually. Yeah. I've given it a lot of thought, Riggs. [SIGHS] [gn] [SIGHS] gddmn it! What the hell's going on? RIGGS: I'm pissed off! You need a reason? COP: I thought I heard gn. RIGGS: Get your hearing checked. Put that away. -What are you looking at? -Hey, man. Peace. COP 1 : Riggs, why'd you call us down here? -Everybody, it's all right. RIGGS: Hey, how you doing, son? Your mother know you're here? [ALL CHUCKLING] Hey, did you do this? COP 2: Nice shting, phew. -Regular Billy the Kid, huh? [ALL LAUGH] Diaper rash makes you cranky, huh? Give that to your mom. Maybe she'll stick it on the refrigerator. -Hey, can l borrow your glasses? -Yeah. Okay, who's wearing? Roger, you're wearing. I need you. -Why me? You guys should be wearing. -Mr. Murtaugh, let me assist you. I've been dressing myself since I was 30. -Okay, man, just trying to help. -Just get back. -All you perverts, turn your heads. COP 2: Take it off. MURTAUGH: Hold this shirt. COP 2: Woo-hoo. COP 3: Wearing a girdle, man. -He's got a girdle! -This is not a girdle. This is not a girdle. It's my back. My back went out on me. -He hurt his back. -Hurt my back this morning lifting weights. What you talking about? I hurt my back lifting weights. Yeah, l saw him do it. Okay, everybody, listen up. I want you all to have a look at these lovely bllts. COP 3: These are cute. -Notice the smooth jacket. Pay particular attention to the tip. Good close look at it. Now, you've all seen these vests stop a .357 magnum bllet, haven't you? ALL: Yeah. COP 2: So what? Okay. Observe. RIGGS: Son of a bitch. [RlGGS WHISTLES] -Armor-piercing bllts? Jesus. -Yeah, cop Kllers. COP 2: Shit. COP 3: Serious shit. Those bllts came from the gn of a suspect we arrested yesterday. COP 4: Armored-car guy? -Yeah. They're out on the streets. Vests are optional, boys and girls. Especially boys. COP 4: Holy fck. COP 2: See you, Riggs. COP 5: Well, let's just keep our eyes open. MURTAUGH: Cop Kllers. Son of a bitch. I, uh, think we should talk to Billy Phelps. I'll have him brought down for interrogation, okay? Yeah. [SIGHS] I'm here to talk to a prisoner, sergeant, Billy Phelps. -Can l see all your ID there? -Sure. William Phelps, armored-car suspect. He's been moved to interrogation. -Know where that is? -Sure. Been there a lot. Okay. Same floor. -Hey, Rog. -Hm? I guess now you're retiring... ...that, uh, Swiss bank account is gonna come in pretty handy. [MURTAUGH CHUCKLES] How much you got in there, a million? Million and a half? -Five. -Five. Well, you deserve it, man. It's better than those miserable drug dealers getting it. What are you talking about? Hey, don't sweat it. You laundered it, didn't you? They can't trace it. -They can't trace it. -Well, now, heh-- Look, so long as l get an invite to the Casa de Murtaugh, I'm happy. Casa what? -l've never been to Portugal. -Stop joking. -She's a cop, man. -l know she's a cop. She's probably on the take too. What do you take me for? Come on. The whole force is bent. Look, she may be wearing a skirt, but we're all brothers. I don't have nothing there. -l ain't been to Portugal. -Beautiful. This Murtaugh-- This-- LORNA: Son of a bitch. COP: Hey, how you doing? -Fine. COP: Who is it today? -Billy-- -Billy Phelps. Huh. -Who are you? -Fly me. I'm your friendly Portuguese airline. -She's lnfernal Affairs, Rog. LORNA: How'd you know? Well, l took the liberty of looking at your file folder. It was showing. Lorna Cole. -And you're Sergeant Murtaugh. -l used to be. Yeah, what's lnfernal Repairs want with our collar? -We're taking over, thanks. -Nobody told us they were taking over. -Nobody has to tell you anything. -l wanna go and see the captain. You wanna go see the captain? -Let's go see the captain. -All right. -And, uh, put on a vest. -Oh, are you wearing one? -Hey, hey, hey. Just take it easy, man. RIGGS: Okay. [MURTAUGH & RlGGS SlGH] [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] Hey, guys. Phelps, William. Actually, his name's Billy. -Phelps? You too? -Hi. -Popular guy today. -Somebody with him? No, not really. He's down the hall to the right. -Wanna sign in here, sarge? -Sure. -Miss. -Thank you. -What's Internal Affairs doing here? -Don't start. I just found out myself. This is Herman Walters, chief of intelligence. You haven't met his daughter, Lorna Doone. -Cole. -Pleased to meet you. The Phelps case has been transferred to Internal Affairs. -Why? Tell me why. -l can't tell you. -That's classified. -Classi--? -We busted our buns busting this guy. -Busted is right. He spent the night in hospital. -He forgot to buckle. -We cited him for it. -l know. l read your report. -Yeah. You know, our cases have unfortunately crossed paths here. That's all l can say. We'll take over from here. Captain, what's she talking about? WALTERS: That's classified. -l said, "Captain." l'm talking to him. I'm telling you-- I said, "Captain." I'm talking to the captain. WALTERS: That's classified. MURTAUGH: I'm talking to him. RIGGS: Bullshit! -Murtaugh. Hey, hey. Riggs! [MURTAUGH GRUNTS] MURPHY: Look, maybe these guys can contribute something to this case. From their records, the only thing they contribute is mayhem and chaos. I'm Chaos and he's Mayhem. We're a double act. -Are we required reading or something? -As a matter of fact, you are. It's a cross between Police Gazette and Mad magazine. -What's wrong with Mad? LORNA: Nothing, l used to read it. -Oh, yeah, you've got some good taste. -When l was 1 2. -When you-- Yeah. -Hey, hey. Riggs, let's go. We busted him, we can talk to him. Let's go. -Captain. MUPRHY: Riggs. Murtaugh. Get your asses back here. You'll be needing these. I'm reinstating both of you. -Don't you just love him? -Yeah. MURTAUGH: God. RIGGS: No. You're Murtaugh and l'm Riggs. You really are a beautiful man. Yeah, right. Just get rid of the blues. -They don't go with the ponytail. -Absolutely not. -Yeah, right. -And get a haircut. -Of course l won't. -You just exceeded your authority, captain. -That's not the way l see it. -The chief will. -Well, take it up with him. WALTERS: l think l will. We don't want this screwed up. You're gonna have to get him between lunches. Son of a bitch. Hi, Billy. -Jack. -Bye, Billy. [GRUNTS] See you, Billy. COP: Sergeant, did you get what you need? Not really. lt's a dad issue, l'm afraid. RIGGS: How long has Phelps been doing this? LORNA: Doing what? -His armored-car thing. LORNA: I wouldn't know. I'm not interested in armored cars. [RlGGS SlGHS] I don't think she's telling us everything. Yeah, l think you're right. Boy, these six days is gonna be rough. God, be good to me, please. Shit, son of a bitch knew there was a camera in the wall. Look how he's covering up. -Damn it. LORNA: Didn't know there was one... ...in the interrogation room. -There isn't. -Yeah. Installed them six months ago. -Every station. MURPHY: That's great. Six months, and we don't know about it? This is the police police, captain. "Police police." Can you say that three times in a row, real fast? -Am I getting to you? LORNA: You trying to bait me? -l'm a master of it. -Well, that figures. Hey, heh, baiting master. Great. I'll try that on Trish. Freeze that. Stop it. Jack Travis. BOTH: Who? -Lieutenant Jack Edward Travis. He was one of us. Hell of a brutal cop. Could bat a confession out of anyone. One hell of a dirty cop. Never seen so many suspensions and reprimands and charges of misconduct. Well, he's also as tough as they come. -What happened to him? -l don't know. His partner and him were on a stakeout. He went for coffee, never came back. Looks like he's had one cappuccino too many. We better brief Walters. Excuse me, cute stuff. -That's harassment. -"Cute stuff." That's you. -Captain. -Boys, boys. Just the captain. Your involvement in this case ended when Billy Phelps ht the floor. Why don't you go back and bat your street? Really good work. LEO: Now's the time to buy. MURPHY: Leo, Not now. -Hey, Roger, Roger. MURTAUGH: Not now, Leo. -No, no. Not now. -We gotta talk, babe, okay? You're in trouble. You got termites. -Termites? -Uh-huh. -Oh, God. -You're infested. The only thing holding up your house is the paint. Rog, I think we should go. Leo, could you get the place fumigated? We should go to Evidence, pull every file on this guy. I know this guy. What are you watching, Geraldo? -What? -l know the guy. -How do you know him? -l've seen the guy before. -Hey, where? -l don't know. I recognize him-- His name's Jack Travis, Leo. Does that ring a bell? Jack Travis. Hey, hey, hey. Hands off the clothes. Okay, baby? -Okay, I'm thinking. Let me think. Okay. -Think. -A big party. MURTAUGH: Okay. Somebody brought a monkey because the monkey knocked over the salad bar. And this guy comes in, introduced me to another guy... ...who wants a favor. -l got it. l got it. l got it! -What? He got it. -l remember! I remember! -You remember! Hey, don't do it. Don't let the earring fool you. -Hey, we're back. We're back. -Yeah. Yeah. -All right. Listen. -Yeah. Think l could get a gn this time? MURTAUGH & RlGGS: No! Okay, this is it. See, these guys always wanted me to do favors for them. Like, some guys wanted broads, another guy wanted Cuban cigars. Your guy, hockey. The best seats in the house. -Where's the seats? -Yeah. Uh, probably by the glass. Around the glass. Does "needle in a haystack" mean anything to you? Why don't we spread out? You know, if we all take a different direction, it'd be like old times. Don't push, lady. I'm on police business here. Just take it easy, now. [ORGAN PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] MAN: Go! All right! [WHlSTLE BLOWS] ANNOUNCER [OVER PA]: Los Angeles penalty. Number 1 5, Tony Brown. Two minutes for high-sticking. Time, 5:1 5. [CROWD CHEERING] Los Angeles, shorthanded goal. Nineteenth goal and 41 st point for number 3, Max Weinberger. RIGGS [OVER PA]: Mr. Jack Travis. Mr. Jack Travis, this is the L.A.P.D. We know you're in here. We know where you are. Just stay in your seat. Don't be stupid. And l'll be there to escort you out in a minute. There's policemen at every exit, so it's no use trying to run. -Stay where you are. -Smart son of a bitch. Thank you for your cooperation. Play on, boys. Come on, let's go! Get out of my fcking way! Ooh! Ooh! Riggs! Riggs! Roger! Roger! Ooh! Excuse me. Excuse me. MAN: Hey! -Riggs! [WHlSTLE BLOWS] REFEREE: You can't be on the ice. [GRUNTlNG] Ooh! Ooh! I got him. I got him. You have the right to remain-- You're under arrest. [SILENCED gn] JACK: fcking weasel. REFEREE: What the hell's going on here? I'm L.A.P.D. L.A.P.D. REFEREE: I don't care. You can't be on the ice. What is this, a convention? [GRUNTlNG] -l got him. -You're all right, pal. Just stay calm. LEO: Tell my mother, Rog. -Where did he go? -Down there. Down there. Son of a bitch. He thinks I don't know l'm dying. I know it. -No. You'll be okay. -Yeah, yeah. l'm dying, Roger. -You'll be okay. -l'm choking, see? This is what they do when they die. I saw them. -Leo, it's gonna be okay. -Yeah, well, I'm-- I'm numb. My whole body's numb. l can't feel it. -Leo, Leo. -l'm gonna die, l know it. What? You're lying on the ice. -That's why l'm cold? -That's why you're cold. -That's why l'm numb, huh? -That's why you're numb. He sht me. Look at all the blood. -lt's just a flesh wound. LEO: So it's okay. REFEREE: Let's get you up. One, two, three. MURTAUGH: Yeah. There you go. You're gonna make it. He's okay, he's okay. He's gonna make it. He's alive. Ooh! Ow, ow! [CROWD CHEERING] -Bring him this way, guys. -l can't believe this. l just-- -l can't believe l got sht. -You'll be all right. -Riggs, you here? -Calm down. We're all the same now. We all got sht. DOCTOR: You'll be fine. -Ouch. That's-- -Relax, Mr. Getz. -l'm fine. Nothing wrong with me. I can take this. Ouch! DOCTOR: We're gonna take care of it. You'll be out of here. No big deal. I don't think that's a good idea. You shouldn't rush this. -Yeah. RIGGS: You should rest up, Leo. A dumdum wound can be serious. What's a dumdum wound? You don't know? A guy got his thumb sht off by a dumdum. From the shock, he was dad two days later. dad two days later? He died from dumdums? DOCTOR: We'll keep you overnight. -Yeah, take it slow. Two days? All right, we'll keep him two days. -You'll be here two days. -That Leo's chart? DOCTOR: Two days, you'll be good as new. LEO: I should be with them. -Bye, Leo. -l should be with-- Hey! Ow! Ouch! -How do you spell, "proctological"? MURTAUGH: Rectal exam? -No, you can't do that to Leo. -Sure we can. -Why's she taking--? -Please, Mr. Getz. You'll get-- You've been sht in the arm. Let her take it. You'll get it back. -Okay. DOCTOR: There's a clock in your room. LEO: Okay, fine. Riggs. -Yeah? This look like a dumdum wound? -lt sounded like one when it happened. LEO: Shit. -Take it easy. Two days. DOCTOR: Two days and you'll be out. -All right. DOCTOR: Okay? -Hey, l'll see you guys. RIGGS: We won't make a move without you. I thought that bllet sounded different. -Relax. They'll be there when you get out. LEO: I'm fine. -You own your own house, doc? -What? -You don't recognize my face? DOCTOR: No, sir. Watch. RIGGS: About time. These doggy treats are okay, but l need some human food. MURTAUGH: Don't worry. I'm about to make you one of the best things you ever had in your life. -Hey, you ever eat one of my hamburgers? -l've been lucky so far. l'll take a chance. MURTAUGH: Yeah. Hey, Fast Eddie. -How's business? EDDlE: Booming. Can't you tell? I'm looking at it. -You meet my partner? -No. I wanna cook one of those monster burgers for him. -Go for it. -All right. -Gonna let him cook? EDDlE: Do I have a choice? MURTAUGH: No, because it's Wednesday. RIGGS: Too big to argue with. In that case, give me a McRog. -Hold the hair. -Heh, heh. You wash your hands? Keep joking, but l guarantee you're gonna like this burger. And you're gonna come back with your friends. I haven't got any friends, you know that, Rog. Well, except you. MURTAUGH: He's a comedian in his spare time. Oh, yeah? When is he gonna say something funny? Hey, uh, you gonna put that out? You're finished with it, yeah? Do you mind, huh? Thanks. Sorry. l was just looking at it. MURTAUGH: Chew on this onion. -Yeah. -Yeah. He's quitting, so help him, okay? -l quit. I was only looking at it. MURTAUGH: Ah. First thing is the fat. Everybody says, "Cut the fat." My uncle said, "You cut the fat, you kll the burger." EDDlE: Yep. MURTAUGH: There's an art to this. You just can't plop this on the grill. [MEN SPEAKlNG INDlSTlNCTLY] MURTAUGH: Gently coax the flavors out. MAN: Yo, hey. -What's the problem? A little pepper, then you massage it a little bit. Just a little bit. Sweet, sweet meat. Shit, man, feel it. Okay, guys. L.A.P.D. Let me see your hands. Come on, let me see your hands. Get them up! In the car. Get them up there. Let me see both of them. Come on! Hey, Riggs. Riggs! God, don't you love me? Five days. [GRUNTlNG] Don't do that shit to me. -Riggs, you okay? RIGGS: Yeah. Come on. Who did it? All right, asshle. I wanna see your hands right now. Back me up, Riggs! MURTAUGH: Darryl? Oh, fck, no. Darryl! Call an ambulance. Riggs, call an ambulance. Breathe. Breathe. Call an ambulance, Riggs. Hey, come on. Breathe. Oh, God. fck, it's Darryl. Darryl, breathe. God, don't do this to me. Breathe. -He's dad, Rog. -fcking breathe! -Breathe! God, don't do this. -He's dad, Rog. He's dad, Rog. Rog, he's dad. He's dad, Rog. Don't mess with it, man. He's dad. Come on, man, it was a clean sht. It's okay, it was a clean sht. He was gonna do you, he was gonna do me. It's okay. You okay? It's not okay. -What? -l know that kid. I know that kid. He's Nick's friend. [TRlSH HUMMlNG] [PHONE RlNGS] NICK: Got it, Mom. TRlSH: l'll get it. Hello? Hi, Martin. He's not here. Oh, my God. Thanks. fck. fck. [ENGINE STARTS] [TlRES SQUEAL] RIGGS: How you doing? Taking your vitamins? -Riggs, how's Murtaugh? -He's good. He's fine. MAN: Morning, captain. -l'm sure he's anything but fine. -Really, he's okay. -l'd really like to talk to him. -l don't think that's a good idea. I think the best thing you could do is leave him alone. -Let's, uh, get something for your cold. -l know what l'm talking about, Riggs. -You and l have to talk. -Talking to you is bad for my image. -l'm afraid l insist. -Oh, you insist? Well, in that case, let's find somewhere private. Here, step into my orifice. Here. [RlGGS CHUCKLES] Hey, Becker, how's it hanging? BECKER: Hey, Riggs. RIGGS: Yeah. BECKER: Clip any wrong wires lately? -No, I haven't done that for a couple days. -Next time, wait for the bmb squad. -bmb squad. Yeah, it's our job. Okay, l'll remember that. We saved a cat. What do you want? -Great. l love cats. -Hey. Go ahead, talk. l'm listening. You purposefully withheld information concerning a case under my investigation. -Yeah, damn right l did. -Careful, she's Internal Affairs. You had a tip on Travis, you should have shared it with me. No, I take that back. You were required to share it with me. -l was required to share it with you? -Yeah. I don't have to share shit with you. Schoolyard rules: If you don't scratch my back, l don't throw you-- -Oh, come on, Riggs. l can't do that. -Yes, you can. Why don't you cut out this classified bullshit? Right now. It's giving me the shits! We're cops. You're a cop, l'm a cop. We're on the same side. -Right? Right? -Right! Right? Good. Why don't we start to act like it, huh? Come on, there's kids out there. Babies. No brains, but they got atmatic wapon. -Yesterday, my partner, he nailed this kid-- -l know about Murtaugh. -Yeah? -Yeah. And l'm sorry, Riggs. Yeah. [SIGHS] Look, uh.... Look, why don't you let me in on this? I can help you. I really wanna help you, if you'll let me. Let me. Come on, what do you say? We got a deal? Wash your hands, Riggs. And, um, meet me in my office. Yeah, yeah. Okay. l'll be right there. Be right there. MAC-1 0, 9 mm, semi-atmatic... -...converted to atmatic-- -With 36 rounds in the magazine. On a sesame-seed bun. Very illegal. -That gn has a history. Wanna know it? -Tell me. [KEYBOARD CLACKlNG] [COMPUTER BEEPS] klled a convenience-store clerk in L.A. County, July 1 990. Was used in a drive-by sh*ting in San Bernardino County, August 1 990. Confiscated by a truant officer of the L.A. School Board, October 1 990. Scheduled for destruction by the L.A.P.D. six weeks ago. -Scheduled for destruction? -Yeah. But it never got there. Instead, it found its way into the hands of a 1 5-year-old boy... ...who fired on a police officer, your partner. -Thought it looked familiar. -That gn and 1 5,000 others like it... ...were stolen from a police storage facility before they could be destroyed. They should be paper clips right now or license plates. Anything but a gn. Here we are, busting our asses on the streets... ...to get these wapon out of circulation and now they're headed right back out. When you busted Phelps, you stumbled onto something... ...the department's trying to keep a lid on. That's why Internal Affairs is on this. They think it's an inside job. Yeah, that's right. They knew police procedures. They knew where the gn were and how to get in. They knew the sorting codes on the containers... ...because they took the automatics and left the junk behind. -lt all pointed to a cop. -Or an ex-cop. -Right. Travis. -Travis. [SIGHS] And you let him slip through your fingers. -That's closer than you ever got. -Close, Riggs? Close is a lingerie shop without a front window. -You wanna go for a ride? -Sure, where we going? Surprise. Oh, l love surprises. RIGGS: What is this place? LORNA: I accessed Billy Phelps' phone records on my computer. He made a dozen calls to this address. RIGGS: Yeah? Nice of you to steal that information. LORNA: Semantics, Riggs. RIGGS: Semantics? I'm always up for some antics. -All right, let's go on three. One-- -Uh, on three, or three and then go? -What? -Never mind. One, two, three. LORNA: Gotcha. [DOG SNARLING] Looks like Billy's grandmother owns a big dog. That isn't a dog. That's a horse. I hate dogs, Riggs. -l don't get it. -You don't get what? That's a dog. It's a fcking dog. No, I don't get, "Close is a lingerie shop without a front window." l don't get that. Riggs, later. [GROWLS] -What are you doing? -Well, l can't sh*t a dog. People, okay, but not dogs. I think I should try and make friends with him. -Make friends? -Yeah. Now, don't run, because he'll only chase you down and kll you. LORNA: Uh-huh. Here, boy. Here, boy. [BARKS] [SNARLING] -Here. Good boy. Yes. -Shit. [RlGGS WHIMPERING] Riggs. [RlGGS SNARLS] You're crazy. [PANTlNG] [BARKS] Want one? Want one? You hungry? Huh? You're a hungry boy. Doesn't anybody feed you? Come on. What a good fella. Here. Here's more. Leave some for me. Very slowly, as if you're not here, just walk away. -You want me to go? -Yeah. This is a guy sort of thing. LORNA: Guy sort of thing? RIGGS: Are you all alone in here? Stay, stay. [DOOR CLOSES] HATCHETT: Come on, let's go. -Let's go. Let's go. MAN 1 : Watch. On two. -All right, how many is that? MAN 2: Fifty-five. Fifty-five. All right, we got eight more. All right, we'll get these later. Let's go. Hi, fellas. What's in all these boxes? [RlGGS YELLlNG] Easy, let's not kll him yet. Let's see who he is first, all right? [GASPS] You have the right to remain silent. Shut him up. Sergeant Martin Riggs, heh. -Hubie, get the truck ready. -Right. So, Sergeant Riggs... ...how did you find us? Freeze. Police! Oh, another one? We need a new fcking dog. Get your hands up, asshle. Get them up. [COUGHS] A little bit higher. That's better. Very good. [gn COCKS] Drop it, miss. Now, look-- [RlGGS GRUNTNG] [GRUNTlNG] [ENGINE STARTS] [TlRES SQUEALING] [BRAKES SCREECH] RIGGS: Okay, l'm on. No, l'm not. I'm off! Wait! Wait. Wait, wait, wait! -Sergeant Cole. -Get down! Get down! Get those cases and kll that dog. [TlRES SQUEAL] [BARKING] Stop! The dog. Wait for the dog. -Where'd you learn to fight? -Catholic school. Forget the dog. Here, boy. Come on. We're waiting for the dog. Just hold it, hold it. Hurry. Come on, dog. Good dog. Good puppy. Go! Go! [TlRES SQUEAL] Stop! LORNA: What? What? -gn. -Full of gn. LORNA: Grab one. -You grab one. -You got friends? RIGGS: Step on it! Get that crate. Come on. [DOG BARKS] TYRONE: Hatchett, you said not to worry about the police... ...but the cops are all over you, man. They got my gn. They'll be coming after me next. Far as l'm concerned, the deal's off. Get a grip on yourself, Tyrone, all right? We have a deal. Nobody backs out. You said you had the cops under control. I see that isn't so. Give me one reason why l should do business with you. -l'll give you a real good reason. -Hey, Tyrone, this is Travis. You back out now, and I'll make certain that only your dentist can identify the body. Is that a good enough reason for you? But l need amo. I'm out of business without amo. -l need the good stuff. -You'll get the amo. The good stuff. "The good stuff." Jesus. Pfft! Time to pay another visit to the L.A.P.D. [RlGGS GROANS] You look like l feel. [GRUNTS] [SIGHS] Hey. Hey. You got anything l can put on my head? There's a hat in the closet. You're all heart. Here l thought you were gonna get all tender and maternal with me. Listen, Riggs, I was raised with four brothers. We got hurt all the time... ...but if no bones were broken or blood wasn't gushing, nobody cared. -Hey, look, blood. See? Blood. -lt's not gushing. Well, it was free-flowing earlier. Could you bring me a needle and thread? You know, maybe some peroxide. I can patch it up myself. -Don't touch anything. -l wasn't. l didn't-- What's with you, anyway? [MUSlC PLAYlNG ON COMPUTER] -The boys. -Hey, what are you doing, huh? -l told you not to touch anything. -Uh, this came on by itself. -Came on all by itself? You a wise guy? -l swear. You don't like to share your toys? -This isn't a toy, Riggs. -What is it? -This is a wapon. Yeah. -A wapon? Used properly, a very effective wapon. What, do you throw it at people? Pretty heavy. You're gonna give yourself a hernia. Come here. Sit down. Right here. -Okay, take a little off the top. -Right here. [RlGGS GRUNTS] -You bring all your interrogations home? -Okay. -What are we talking about? -Well, it's back here. Careful. Careful. -Careful. Oh. -This? -This scratch? -Come on, it feels like Grand Canyon. -Oh, God. -Ah! -Hold still. -Yeah. -Ah! -Oh, God. We haven't even started. Be gentle with me. I see this isn't virgin territory. What is this? A Knfe? Huh? Oh, that's an ax. Some guy mistook my head for a log. -That's a natural mistake. -What, I have a wooden head? -Look at that. -lt's a Knfe. -Knfe? That's very Knfe. -Mm-hm. This is all right. Oh, that's pavement, dragged down Crenshaw. Mm-hm. Hey, that's great. Look at that texture. Look at this, huh? Same damn thing. Third and Highland. -Dragged for about half a block. -That's a good one. Feel that texture. Feel it. Cheese-grater time. -Moving truck. -Moving truck? Ooh! -Moving bllet. -Moving bllet? -Here. This is the best. -bllts now. -lt goes all the way to the back. -Oh, hey. Right through? You're lucky. What is it, .22? -lt's a .38, Riggs. -That's a .38? -lt's a .38. -That's a wimpy .38. This is a .38. -Yours is bigger than mine? Don't think so. -l think so. Maybe not, but look. Watch. A whole family of .44s on the back. -Look, there they are. -lmpressive. One got stuck in my lung. I was breathing blood bubbles. Disgusting. Blood bubbles. Okay. -You got one? -Mm. Pump-action. 1 2-gauge. -Oh, yeah. -Mm-hm. -Yeah. Right down here. Went through. -Oh. -That must've hurt. -Right. -Not too close. -Pfft! Riggs, if he were that close, l'd be dad. I can bat it. I can bat it. Have a look at this. -l'll take your word for it. -You gotta see this. -l'll take your word. -This guy had a Knfe. You'll love it. He stuck it in my leg and ran it around eight times. -Hurt like a son of a bitch. -l'll take your word for it. No, I said forget it. -This is a blue-ribbon event. -Forget it, Riggs. Hey, you started this. -Yeah, well, I can end it. -You know what? You're a very poor loser. I didn't lose, Riggs. -Yes, you did. -No. No, I didn't lose. -You lost. -l conceded. There's a difference between losing and conceding. You conceded or you're conceited? -You think l'm conceited? -Oh, yeah. Tell me you lost. Admit to it. I'll get a Band-Aid. -Tell me you lost. -l said, don't touch anything. You're gonna smack the shit out of me, right? I can do better than that, Riggs. [RlGGS GRUNTS] [GASPS] This could be a serious ethical breach here. I never made it with another sergeant before. Shut up, Riggs. [GROANS] Oh! [SIGHS] Oh, damn, Riggs. -What do you want, Riggs? -Just wanted to see how you were doing. Who sent you? Trish? Well, uh, you're doing pretty well. Trish didn't send me. Rianne came to see me. She asked me to find you. -Your place? -Well, that's where l am. -My daughter came to your trailer? -Yeah. -My daughter came to your trailer? -What the hell? Come on, Roger, she was worried. Get off of my boat, Riggs. -Oh, come on. -Get off my boat. Look, you're drunk, Rog. That's something you should know about, huh? -This isn't gonna do any good. -Give me that. -No. -Give me that. Rog, please don't do this, okay? You got three days until you retire. This is not gonna do you any good. -You self-righteous bastard. Give it. -Roger! -Look, don't do this, okay? Please. -Give it to me, damn it, Riggs! No! Oh, Jesus Christ. What are you gonna do now, sh*t me? -Uh-huh. -There. Take your finger out of my bottle and give me that gn. The bottle's going south. [GASPS] Son of a bitch. [GRUNTS] RIGGS: Oh, shit. -Not bad for an old man. -You finished? I got another bottle in the galley. I'm gonna get it. No, you're not. Rog, don't do this to yourself, all right? You gotta cut this out. Oh, man, I'm sorry. Are you okay? Are you okay? All right. Sit down. Sit down. You okay? [COUGHlNG] -You ht me. -Cool it, will you? Cut it out. Just give it up, okay? Go ahead. Go ahead. ht me again. I don't wanna ht you. You think I like this shit? ht me again, huh? You think I'm afraid of you? -l know you're not. Rog, no! -Of that kung fu shit? Please, Rog. Look, that kid was a kller, all right. That wasn't a toy in his hand. That was a machine pstol with twin carbines and all the trimmings. He would have drilled you, me, anybody that came along, all right? You had no choice. It didn't happen to you. It happened to me. It happened to me! My God, l klled that kid. I klled that boy. Oh, yeah. You kll a lot of people. You kll a fcking lot of people! You ever kll a baby? You got ice in your veins. You ever kll a boy like Nick? You selfish bastard! You selfish bastard! You're just thinking about yourself! gddmn it. What about me, huh? We're partners. We are partners. What happens to you, happens to me. After all the shit we've been through, don't you get it? Don't you get it? When you retire, you're not just retiring you, you're retiring us. -You're retiring us. -No. That's not my problem. -Yes, it is. -lt's not my problem. You're the only family l've got. I got three beautiful kids. I love them and they're yours. Trish does my laundry. I live in your icebox. I live in your life. What am I gonna do? What am I supposed to do? -l don't care. -Yes, you do. -l don't care! l don't care! -Yes, you do! -l don't care! -You do so care! I don't care! I don't care. I don't care. I don't know what l'm saying anymore. I don't know what l'm thinking. I had three days, and now this. I'm sorry. -That's all right. -No, no, I'm sorry. I didn't realize... ...that my retirement's gonna screw you up. Forget it. I haven't got any problems. I was out of line saying that shit. Look, man.... Um, Riggs, look.... Hey. You know l love you. You know I love you, Riggs. And your problems are my problems, all right? Like you said, what happens to you... ...happens to me. So try me. I'm here for you. I haven't got any problems, Rog. Oh, yes, you do. We all have problems. You help me... ...and l'm gonna help you. I do have a little problem. Uh.... Oh, no, shit. You don't wanna hear. This is piddly shit. Riggs, yes, I do. l wanna hear it. -Tell me. -Know what? This is ridiculous. -You don't wanna hear it. -No, no. I'm here. l'm here. Well.... I think maybe l slept with someone that I probably shouldn't have. You son of a bitch! RIGGS: Help me, man. MURTAUGH: I ought to let you drown, you traitor. RIGGS: Help me. Help me. -Come on in. MURTAUGH: Aah! -What did you ht me for? You ht me. -You slept with Rianne. -l did not. -You did. -Who did you sleep with? -l slept with Sergeant Cole. Sergeant Cole from Traffic? No, not Sergeant Cole from Traffic. -Lorna. -Lorna. Sergeant Cole from Traffic's her uncle. -Oh, okay. That's okay. That's okay. -Oh, I don't know. She was all like-- MAN: Sheriff's Department. -Sheriff, we're L.A.P.D. -L.A.P.D. MAN: Yeah? What are you boys doing down there? -We're in the middle of a case. -Yeah. Of Scotch. [BOTH LAUGHING] MAN: Let's get out of here. Go with the grain. Huh? I'll show you. Here. You're going against the grain. -Like that. -Okay. You okay? Darryl was my friend, Dad. I know. I'm sorry, son. I hope you don't blame me. I don't blame you, Dad. I blame Darryl. -What's this right here? -Huh? -Right there. -What? [BOTH CHUCKLE] I love you, Dad. I love you, son. PRlEST: Grant them both pardon and everlasting rest. Let them escape the judgment of vengeance and enjoy the blessedness of eternal life. Oh, Lord, we commend the soul of Darryl Smithers to your safety. May he find the peace in heaven that eluded him on Earth. And may the scourge of volence... ...claiming the lives of our children be lifted by your grace... ...and infinite wisdom. -Amen. ALL: Amen. WOMAN: Amen. [BABY WAlLING] Nice service. Wait here. MURTAUGH: Mrs. Smithers. Ma'am? [STAMMERS] I just don't know-- You want to do something, Sergeant Murtaugh? You find the man that put the gn in my son's hand. Take your mama to the car. [MURTAUGH SlGHS] You okay? Yeah. Who's got the gn? -We got it. -Yeah. [GRUNTS] Where did this gn come from, fck? fck you. Ever heard of the word "genocide," huh? You stupid fck? You ever heard of genocide? You fools are klling yourself! klling us! I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. fck. You better tell me where this gn's from or l'll blow your head off. I wanna know now. Where did this gn come from? You see this gn? I wanna know where it came from, Tyrone. l wanna know now. RIGGS: Hiya, Hubie. We're looking for a friend of yours, Travis. I never heard of him. Never heard--? Ehh! Ehh! Wrong answer. Wrong answer. -And you're pulling on the wrong string. -That's not a very professional attitude. -Who the fck are you guys? RIGGS: Sorry. L.A.P.D. We're just doing a few routine inquiries. You been checked for lice recently? Hey, hey. Give me my fcking wallet. MURTAUGH: Keep your hands down. HUBERT: Give my fcking wallet back! Get up. We don't need this. [HUBERT GRUNTS] We have a license that belongs to one Hubert Bartholomew Smith. -ls that you? -Bartholomew. HUBERT: fck you. RIGGS: There's a lady here. Do you mind? HUBERT: What the fck--? -Hey! What the hell's going on here? -Maybe they know something. -l'll find out. -Want me to come with you? Sure? -No, I got it. Mm-hm. -l should go with her. -l want you to see something, Rog. -She has a gift. Watch this. -A gift? Morning, gentlemen. L.A.P.D. Got a few questions. You on parole? -l got a job, fck-o. -Shut up. Who asked you? Do any of you know a Mr. Travis? -You got a warrant? -No, I don't have a warrant. I can get one. Well, until you do, fck off. Now, that's not a nice thing to say to a lady. -fck you. -l don't think so. Ah! [GRUNTS] -Backspin kick. -Sheesh! Aah! Shit! [LORNA GRUNTlNG] Watch out. You okay, honey? I'm just great. [SCREAMS] -Honey? LORNA: How are you doing? This guy's on parole. LORNA: And this guy's an asshle. -Riggs, there's five of them, man. -Yeah, I know. Look at the front kick. Look at that. [MAN SCREAMS] Grabbed his cluster. Let me help her. Stay still. Whoa! Hey, hey, hey. My girl. Ha, ha. This PMS, it's mrder. Ah, yeah, l know what you mean. I've been married 25 years. So tell me about Travis. Look, l told you before, moron, I don't know no Jack Travis. I didn't say his name was Jack. Hey, you better start telling me more than jack shit. Hey, Murphy. -People cross the street when they see me. -l didn't have enough time. I'm not your enemy, captain. I'm just trying to do my job. -Have you eaten? -l already ate. I gotta go downtown. -What, do you eat alone? -l'm used to it. It's bad for the digestion. Tomorrow you have lunch with me, but I'm not paying. The fck is this? Hey, buddy, you all right? Two fingers, Murph. -Jack, what the fck? -Get in the car. l'll tell you after the ride. MURTAUGH: After watching Lorna handle herself so well... ...boy, I'm changing my mind about all that kung fu. Hey you wanna try something? -No. No, no, no. -Come on. Guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks. -Hey, hey, hey. Old dog, my ass, huh? -Yeah? You wanna try something? Watch this. This is called a backspin kick. Pivot right, kick with your left... ...and you whip that head around to catch the target over there. Get that head round and follow through. Like so. So you whip the head. All right? Thank you. Thank you. Now you try it. -Here's your target. All right? -Okay. Pivot on the right, kick with the left, get that head round and spot that target. -Like that. -Yeah, that's it. Follow the head round. Back up a bit. We don't want you to bump into this pole. Just back up a little bit. A little bit more. Okay, good. Mind and body strong now, grasshopper. All right. Okay. Go. [GRUNTS] [ALL LAUGHING] MURTAUGH: Hey, hey, hey! -He can't hold his water. MURTAUGH: Get back to work. Okay, okay, back to work, everybody. Man. Oh, Rog, man, l'm sorry. Sergeant Murtaugh. You could be experiencing some transitional anger caused by the sh*ting. You wanna talk about it? -l think he's okay for a change, doc. -Are you sure? Yeah. You know, you really look good in red. That's your color, l think. -l've got a little extra time now, sergeant. -l'm fine, doctor. Oh, shit. Where's Sergeant Murtaugh? -What? -No, her. Can you tell me where l can find the good-looking Sergeant Murtaugh? -Aah! DELORES: Hi, skinny. -Delores. You remember me? RIGGS: l remember you. Can you tell me where l can find the lovely Sergeant Murtaugh? As a matter of fact, he's cowering down on all fours right behind this counter. [GlGGLES] -Listen, where's the sergeant? -He's not here at the moment, Delores. But, uh, he's talked of nothing but you all week. DELORES: Shut my mouth. -The man's on fre. -What's the matter, baby? -A little sciatica. Oh. You tell him Delores was here. You tell that man... ...that he's the jam in my jelly roll. [BOTH LAUGH] -l'll see you, baby, okay? Bye-bye. -Okay. Bye. [CLEARS THROAT] Delores says that you're the jam in her jelly roll. That's-- -l heard. -Heh. -That's a lot of woman there. -Shit. She calls me all the time. And she leaves me notes. What am I gonna do? -You shouldn't have led her on. -Led her on? I didn't do anything, Riggs. I mean, if Trish finds out about it-- I didn't-- I didn't-- Sergeant, we have got to talk. You've gotta come see me. Well, we gotta work. Come on. Let's go. -Thanks anyway, for your concern. -Yeah. Thanks, doc. -You're a beauty. RIGGS: Coming? A beauty. Yeah, l'm coming. Afternoon, captain. JACK: That's good, Murphy. See how easy that was? I love it down here, don't you, Murph? This place is better than the swap meet. Best bargains in town. MURPHY: Give me the lock-up keys. Those guys from the garage, they're all ex-cons. And all busted by the same police officer... ...Lieutenant Jack Edward Travis. Early paroles on the work furlough program. Uh-huh. Employed by a company called Mesa Verde Construction. Just a minute. You can't go in there. You don't have a pass. -What? -May I see your pass? -Wanna see? Here's my pass. -l do. -l got sht in the line of duty, okay? -He's with us. -He's with us? -Did l say that? -Where'd you get her from? -What are you doing out of the hospital? Don't mention the hospital. I told you not to leave me. They tried to take my appendix. They gave me a lapotomy. -Brain surgery? -No, a lapotomy. Not a lobotomy. Cut your hair so you can hear. What's the difference? The difference is, when you get a lapotomy, they shave your nether regions. -Nether what? -Your nether-- I can't say it in front of her. Well, point to it. [SCOFFS] -Okay. Here. -Must be itchy. Yes, it is itchy. These doctors are savages. Where does it say that a gn wound requires a rectal exam? Huh? Huh? [SCOFFFS] Yeah. With a telescope big enough to see Venus. I guess all they saw was Uranus, huh? Oh, that's great. Huh-huh. That's great. Thank you. -You know what l say? -What? They fck you in the hospital! First they drug you, then they fck you. And when they're done... ...along comes the insurance company, and fck you some more. Ten dollars for a fcking aspirin, that's not even covered. -Leo! -That's enough. -We're trying to work here. -Okay. What's new on our case? Anything new? You got Travis yet? You take an ad out in the paper? -He's family. We gotta go somewhere else. -Who's she? -Sergeant Cole. -Hey, how are you? Leo Getz. Anything you need, Leo Getz. Get it? -l get it. -Real estate right now but.... Hey, listen. Come on, you guys, give me a break. I owe this guy one. Give me something to do. You can get us a cup of coffee. That's great. I take one for you, and that's what you tell me? -He could check this out. -That's all I'm good for? Takes slugs-- Leo, Leo, Leo. Look. We got something for you to do. Check out Mesa Verde Construction. Find out all the information you can. -Okay. Sure, l can do this. -Remember that name? Right around-- Mesa Verde, I got it. What are you doing giving him Mesa Verde? If there's shit there, he'll dig it up. -Who is that guy? RIGGS: lt's a long story. Here are your keys, captain. [SILENCED gn] -You fck. -Don't be stupid. MURPHY: The fck? -Take the elevator, bring the other guys. Keys. Give me your fcking hands. gddmn you, Travis. fck. Stand there. I can get faster results than that real-estate broker. Leo's not just a real-estate broker. Yeah, he's a royal pain in the ass with a lot of connections. This is what we came for. Load everything on the elevator, guys. -How'd you know where to find them? -We got it all. World of computers, Murph. World of computers. You used to be one of us, for chrissakes, Jack. You know what future a cop has, Murph? None. Punch a clock for 30 years. Retirement. Pension. Nothing to do. Drunk at noon, bllet in the brain by evening. Well, not for this kid. Police department's got it all: gn, amo, drugs, cash. It's a one-stop shopping center. If you got the brains, there's not a thing anybody can do about it. You're already fcking history and you know it. Sorry, Murph. But l'm just getting started. LORNA: Something's wrong here. RIGGS: What? The program's been accessed by somebody from the outside. What? What's been accessed? After the gn were stolen, lnternal Affairs moved the confiscated ammniton. -Armor-piercing bllts? -Thousands of rounds... ...to a more secured location. Shit. -That's been accessed. -Somebody knows. Where's it stored? Where did they move it? RIGGS: Wait, wait. LORNA: Let's go. -l guess I'm not cut out for Internal Affairs. -Where is it? LORNA: In the building. RIGGS: Where? LORNA: I'm showing you. COP: Something going down? -Nothing's going down. -l'm going with you. -Uh, how old are you? -Twenty-two today. Twenty-two? Come on. You got protection? -Right here in my wallet. -No, your vest, you dummy. Should we take him? Okay, but keep your head down. Keep your head down. -Stay behind me. -Come on, let's go. COP: Yahoo! -Shh! Quiet. JACK: See, you were my ticket in, Murph. It's too bad you won't be coming with me. RIGGS: Travis. LORNA: They got it all. RIGGS: Shit. -He's dad. -How'd they get it out of here? -l don't know. -They didn't take it upstairs. MURTAUGH: Hey, hey. Elevator. -Shit. lt's down. -Hey, the subway's down there. -We take the stairs. COP: L.A. has subways? RIGGS: Where you been, kid? MURTAUGH: Read something besides the funny pages. MAN: All right, guys. Come on, let's hustle. Hurry up, guys. L.A.P.D., guys. Come here. Come here. Step on it. Son of a bitch. You see anybody, anything strange? -Lots of cops and a bunch of boxes. -Split now. Just get out of here. -l'm going across. LORNA: I got it. [GRUNTS] JACK: Get rid of Murphy, now! Where the fck do you think you're going? Let's go. [BOTH GRUNT] [SCREAMS] Split. Get out of here. COP: Cover me. MURTAUGH: Riggs! [GRUNTS] Let's go. Let's go! [COP GRUNTlNG] Riggs. Son, stay still. Happy birthday, kid. MAN: Oh, shit! Another baby. Hey! Is he dad? Check the body. MURPHY: Get me the fck out of here, will you? Hey, Riggs! Hey, Riggs! Riggs! You stupid son of a bitch. Stop that shit. Cut it out. -Hey! Don't sh*t. RIGGS: L.A.P.D., man. Where does this come out? -Pico Station. -Thanks, pal. MAN: Hey, not that way. -Take the stairs, man, it's faster. RIGGS: Okay, thanks. MAN: Ow! Sorry, pal. Where's the tunnel? Gangway! Get out of the way. Holy shit. Son of a bitch. Police! [CAR HORN HONKlNG] Step on it! There he is! Step on it! gddmn. [TRAIN HORN BLARlNG] Put your foot down! I can't! [BRAKES SQUEAKING] [TlRES SQUEALING] [CAR HORNS HONKlNG] -Hey, police! I need your bike, man. -What? This is bullshit. I need your bike. Sergeant Riggs, call it in. I need a couple clips too. [SIREN WAILlNG] [TlRES SQUEAL] Hey, we lost him. [SIREN WAILlNG] -Central, where's Riggs? DISPATCHER: Six-William-Six. Central, keep me in touch with motorcycle pursuit. [TlRES SQUEALING] -Shit. JACK: Take a right, now. Take a right! Go! Go! Go! Go! Stupid. Take a right. No, left! [TRUCK HORN BLARlNG] JACK: Shit! RIGGS: Oh, shit! [CAR HORNS HONKlNG] Watch it! MURTAUGH: This is 6-William-6, this is 6-William-6. I'm at the freeway construction site. Where's Riggs? I'm here. Where's Riggs? Come back to me, Central. DISPATCHER: Six-William-Six, location west-- Where's Riggs? Where the hell is Riggs? Take a left here. Get off. Get off the freeway. Oh, Jesus! [WORKERS SHOUTING lNDlSTlNCTLY] Stop! Hold it! Oh, shit! Hang on. Stop! [GASPS] Where is the pursuit? [YELLS] Oh, shit. [SCREAMlNG] [GRUNTS] -Riggs! Hey, just relax, Riggs. -Relax? Riggs! Riggs! Oh, shit! Riggs! Riggs! Riggs. Hey, Riggs. Get back. Just get back. Get back! Riggs, talk to me. Riggs. Riggs, you're alive. Come here. Don't move. Don't move. I said just get back! You all right? [GROANS] Hey, hey, hey, Riggs, don't-- Hey, hey, Riggs! Don't touch me! Okay, okay. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. -Just be careful. -Don't touch me. Don't! [GRUNTlNG] -Don't touch me. -Hey, okay, l won't touch you. I'm not touching you. [SOBBlNG] -Okay. You okay now? -l'm pissed now, Rog. Now I'm pissed. -Now what? -That son of a bitch. He's done it twice now. Damn. Son of a-- l'm gonna suck his eyes out through his nose. Twice he got away. Nobody gets away from me! Okay. Just relax. Just relax. -Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm okay. -Are you okay? -l'm okay. l'm okay. l'm okay. [SIRENS APPROACHING] MURTAUGH: Hey! -Hey, l'm having that. -You quit! I ran out of biscuits, all right? Give me a break. [CAR HORN HONKlNG] Oh, shit. [RlGGS GROANS] Perfect. -What did l miss? RIGGS: What's he doing here? -What are you doing here? -Great car chase. -Great chase. -What are you doing here? -How'd you find us, huh? -My police scanner. What are you doing with a police scanner? What am I--? Hello, Car 54, where are you? I cracked this case for you guys. Listen. Mesa Verde's legit. They got a housing project called Rancho Arroyo. RIGGS: l know where that is. -Why don't we check it out? -Good idea. -Okay, hey, wait. l'll come with you. -No, you're not coming. -Yes, I am. l'll take my car. -No, you're not. LEO: Yes, l am. I can't believe you did that. I got a spare in the trunk. -You're driving. -No, I'm driving. How could you do that? I can't believe you did that. -l can't believe you did that. RIGGS: Hey, where's Lorna? -l can't believe you did that. MURTAUGH: With Walters. I can't belie-- l can't believe you did that. How could you do that to me? Did you see that? They're my partners. -l can't believe they did that. -Twenty-one and 1 8, clear. Excuse me, do you own your home? [SIREN WAILlNG] [GRUNTS] -Looks like we came to the right place. -Yeah. Move on out to Travis Town. Great place to raise a family. Built on gn and bloodshed. One hell of a retirement plan this asshle's got, isn't it? Let's foreclose on this son of a bitch. -Say, is that, uh--? -lt's Darryl's gn. -Saving it for the right occasion. -This is the right occasion. MURTAUGH: How many men you think he has? Who knows? Maybe l should run over there and ask him? -That'd be too easy. -Yeah. Wish I had some grenades or a rocket launcher. Maybe a ground-to-air mssile. Hey, I wonder what Murphy's got in his trunk. Well, it's obvious Murph was never a Boy Scout. -Not even a good spare. -Yeah. [gn COCKS] Shit. Put your hands down. lt's embarrassing. [BOTH SIGH] -How you doing? -Kissing, huh? -Fresh ones, huh? -Oh, yeah. Shaving cuts. Don't get points for those. -How did you get here? -Drove. -No, no. How--? -l ran into Leo at the police station. -He talked to me first. -Leo, Leo. LORNA: Any ideas? RIGGS: Lucky thing we got a plan. MURTAUGH: Yeah. -Yeah, lucky thing. What is it? -Oh, no. I want it to be a surprise. -Oh, I like surprises. [SIREN WAILlNG] MAN: Move it! -Let's check it out. -Let's go. -Look what they did to Murph's car. -Could've been worse. -Could've been yours. RIGGS: Could've been Trish's. -On three. -Three. -Three? -Yeah, three. Okay. [IN UNlSON] One... -...two.... LORNA: Three. -Police! Freeze! RIGGS: Hey! Oh, shit! [MEN GRUNT] -Go! Go! Let's go! -Yeah, yeah. What's wrong with you? I said go on three, not two. -Nobody goes on two. -On three! RIGGS: Three. It's always three. -Boys! Boys! What are we doing here? Losing our heads in a crisis? Cover me. Cover me. [GRUNTlNG] [COUGHS AND SPlTS] Exxon. -Hey, Rog! -Murtaugh! -What? -Count to 20. -What? -Count to 20, then light me! Shit! Riggs, it's loaded with amo. -Cover me. -Cover you? Cover you, cover Riggs. Cover everybody. When's somebody gonna cover me for a change? What's that, 1 3, 14? Ah, to hell with it. Jack, it's the cops. They're burning everything. God! Son of a bitch. Shit. Crazy fck! Damn. Riggs, the amo. Get out of there. -Riggs, you crazy son of a bitch. -Yeah! Ha, ha! [GRUNTS] Son of a bitch. lt works. Shit. Stay there. That shit works, Riggs. Riggs! Son of a bitch. No clip. Lorna, no, don't! [SCREAMlNG] Come on in, bitch. -Door's open. -Aah! [GASPS] [RlGGS GASPlNG] [BOTH GRUNTlNG] I'm gonna eat your fcking heart! [YELLING] [GRUNTS] Son of a bitch. RIGGS: Travis! Shit. [RlGGS SCREAMS] [JACK GRUNTS] Armor-piercing bllts, yeah. Cop Kllers. You're coming with me. [BOTH GRUNTlNG] fck you, asshle! Hey, Riggs. [ENGINE STARTS] Riggs! Hey, Riggs. Riggs! Riggs! Get up! Get up, Riggs! Get up! Get up! klled in the line of duty, Riggs! You'll get a great funeral from the department, Riggs! MURTAUGH: Hey, Riggs. Cop Kllers. Ex-cop Kllers. Go to hell, Riggs. You first. Hey, Riggs! Crazy son of a bitch. [LORNA GRUNTlNG] Sorry, honey, l gotta do it. l gotta look. Oh. Oh. Just hold still. Hold still. Hey, get a chopper, man. Get a chopper. She had two vests on. She's gonna be okay. A couple of bad ones. We need to get a chopper. Okay. You're all right, partner. You're all right. All right. Hang on. Okay. It's okay, it's okay. Just lie still. Just lie still. Just a romantic evening by the fre, just the two of us. Just be still. MAN 1 : Lock and load! MAN 2: l got it. Honey, open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. What are you trying to prove out there, huh? Huh? Why do you do that? -Can l take this off? MEDIC: Yeah. You're supposed to grow old with someone... ...not because of them, all right? I'm gonna be with you, Lorna. Hey, I'm with you now. Look, l'm right here. We're both here, right? Right. Come on, l wanna be with you. What have you got to lose? You. Not likely. -Hey, Lorna. -Yeah? Let's live to regret this, huh? MEDIC: Okay, we've gotta go, sarge. -Okay. MEDIC: She's gonna be fine. RIGGS: Can you hear me? I love you. [DOOR OPENS] [ALL CHEERING] ALL [SlNGlNG]: Happy retirement, Daddy Happy retirement, Daddy This is it. This is the day. NICK: Everybody? Daddy? I want you to know there's a candle for every year in the force. -Yes. A lot of years. RIANNE: That's a lot. TRlSH: Come on, you have to blow it out. Come on. TRlSH: Blow them out. CARRlE: Blow them out. Come on. -l can't. -Come on, we'll help. -No, that's not what l mean. TRlSH: What? I can't retire. I thought I could. l wanted to. But l can't. That means you're gonna stay with the force? That means I'm staying with the force, baby. NICK: This cake's about to explode, so, uh, you better blow out these candles. But, um, Dad, l want you to know that I'm behind you all the way. CARRlE: Yeah, me too. RIANNE: So am I, Dad. -lt's okay. -Well, the streets will be safer... ...for another couple years. [ALL LAUGH] -Word, Nick. -Word, Dad. Blow them out. LEO: Hello? TRlSH: Hello. Up here! LEO: Hello? -Hello. Hey, l gotta talk to Roger. TRlSH: Leo. Oprah should see this. I can't believe this. Okay, this is great. TRlSH: Leo, what is it? Where's Riggs? I didn't know he could hold his breath that long. -Okay, okay. -l'm taking a bath, Leo. I can see that. And it's cold water too. There goes your image. TRlSH: Leo. LEO: Listen, l got great news, okay? Okay? Once again, Leo Getz has delivered. Okay, l have sold this turkey. This termite-infested dump is now gone. Okay? You have to sign the contract before the suckers change their mind. Okay? l did it. I did it. MURTAUGH: Hey, hey. Leo, Leo. -What? The house is off the market. We're gonna stay in this termite-infested turkey for another 1 0 years. TRlSH: At least. RIANNE: l'll get married in here. TRlSH: Come on, you guys. Come on, out. LEO: You can't do this. TRlSH: Out, out. LEO: No, you can't do that. RIANNE: You too, Leo. LEO: You can't do that. I have contracts signed. Because we're partners, no commission. Okay? -Partners? -You and Riggs owe me two new tires. MURTAUGH: Why? -Why? bllts aren't covered in normal road hazard. That's why. -l want those tires! No conditions! -Oh, God. Leo, get out of here. -Don't tell me to get out! -Get out. Leo, out, out! You're lucky your wife's here. You're lucky-- TRlSH: Out! LEO: Okay. [DOOR CLOSES] -Don't come to me if the-- -Get out! LEO: Termites get-- Okay, okay. TRlSH: No more! -Your friends. -Yeah. Ten more years till forced retirement, huh, baby? That's, uh, 3650 days. -Forty-nine. -Oh, yeah. [TRlSH SCREAMS] [TRlSH LAUGHING] -l'll try and improve my image. -Mm. [WHlSTLlNG] [SIGHS] -See you soon. Thanks a lot. RIGGS: Don't mention it. Oh, bye, Daddy. Bye, baby. [RlGGS CHUCKLES] -What are you smiling at? -Heh. -Why weren't you at my party, huh? -l knew you weren't gonna retire. I've been wrong about a couple things in my life, but l knew you wouldn't retire. Well, l knew you couldn't stop smoking. I'm smoking to take my mind off my dog-biscuit problem. -What dog-biscuit problem? -l've been chasing more cars lately... ...and, uh, when I try and lick my balls, I keep falling off the couch. Jesus Christ. Hey, hey, hey. I'm driving. Other side. I got no dispute. l just came over to open the door for you. Thank you for opening the door. -Need some help? An old fella like you-- -l'll show you a fella my age. -Who's a grumpy bastard? -l'm a grumpy bastard. [RlGGS CHUCKLES] -You know something, Riggs? -What? When I do retire, I hope your next partner is just like you. There's winners and there's losers, and God wouldn't do that to me. Well, he did it to me. I know. See what l mean? -My point, exactly. -Son of a bitch. Shit. Stay away from my daughter. RIGGS: You can't be serious. What are you talking about? MURTAUGH: I saw what it was. You kissed Rianne. RIGGS: She kissed me. She finds me irresistible. MURTAUGH: That's not the point. RIGGS: lt was a platonic peck on the cheek. MURTAUGH: If it's just friendship, try shaking hands next time. RIGGS: Getting enough fiber in your diet? MURTAUGH: I'm getting enough fiber. RIGGS: I'm spoken for, okay? I'm gonna pick Lorna up from the hospital this afternoon. MURTAUGH: Yeah? RIGGS: Yeah, we're practically-- MURTAUGH: You're serious? RIGGS: We got a dog and everything. I figure I can, uh, you know, make ends meet. DISPATCHER [OVER RADlO]: All units. All units. Code 2, high. MURTAUGH: Hey, don't even think about it, Riggs. Don't even try. RIGGS: This is us, rolling to Code 2, high, at Verrina Place. MURTAUGH: Shit, Riggs. This time we wait for the bmb squad. RIGGS: You think l want to end up in uniform again? DISPATCHER [OVER RADlO]: 20-William-12, the REA bmb squad's en route. All units. MAN: Those guys gonna get in the way again? MURTAUGH: Okay, there it is. You happy? Let's go. RIGGS: Ah, we ain't seen nothing yet, though, Rog. -Come on, just get me up there closer. MURTAUGH: It's roped off. RIGGS: Can't see the bmb squad. MURTAUGH: They're coming. RIGGS: Okay, all right. All right. Stop here and l'll just get out. MURTAUGH: No, don't get out of the car, Riggs. No. Riggs! RIGGS: Tell me, Rog, was it red wire, blue--? Let's get out of here! Step on the gas. MURTAUGH: They'll never believe this. RIGGS: l hope nobody saw us. MURTAUGH: They'll blame me. RIGGS: Let's keep cool. You better get your girdle out of mothballs. MURTAUGH: They'll say, "Back in uniform again." RIGGS: Find one that fits. MURTAUGH: Ten more years of this. RIGGS & MURTAUGH [lN UNlSON]: I'm too old for this shit.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Lethal w*apon 3 (1992)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming
( narrating) Peter Parker: She looks at me every day. Mary jane Watson. Oh, boy. lf she only knew how l felt about her. But she can never know. I made a choice once to live a life of responsibility. A life she can never be a part of. Who am I? I'm Spider-Man, given a job to do. And l'm Peter Parker, and I, too, have a job. Mr Aziz: Parker. Parker! No, no, no, stop! Stop! Parker, you're late, man. Always late. Peter: I'm sorry, Mr. Aziz. There was a disturbance. Mr Aziz: Another disturbance. Always a disturbance with you. Come on, 21 minutes ago, in comes order. Harmattan, Burton & Smith. Eight extra-large deep-dish pizzas. In eight minutes, I am defaulting on Joe's 29-minute guarantee. Then, not only am I receiving no money for these pizzas... ...but l will lose the customer forever to Pizza Yurt. Look, you are my only hope, all right? You have to make it in time. Peter, you're a nice guy. But you're just not dependable. This is your last chance. You have to go 42 blocks in 7 1/2 minutes or your ass is fired. Go! Driver: Hey, what, are you stupid? Pizza “ heist” witness: Whoa! He stole that guy's pizzas! I'm gonna get it! Spider-Man: Hey, you guys. No playing in the streets. Kid: Yes, Mr. Spider-Man. Spider-Man: See you. Way to go, Spidey! Peter: Pizza time. Receptionist; You're late. I'm not paying for those. Mr Aziz: Joe's 29-minute guarantee is a promise, man. I know to you, Parker, a promise means nothing. But to me, it's serious. Peter: It's serious to me too, Mr. Aziz. Mr Aziz: You're fired. Go. - Peter: Please, l need this job. Mr Aziz: You're fired. - Peter: Look, give me another chance. Jameson: You're fired. Parker, hello. You're fired. - Peter; Why? J Jonah Jameson: Dogs catching Frisbees? Pigeons in the park? A couple geezers playing chess? Betty: Boss. Jameson: Not now. Peter; The Bugle could show another side of New York for a change. Robbie: We got six minutes to deadline, Jonah. We need page one. Jameson: I don't pay you to be a sensitive artiste. I pay you-- Still not now! I pay you because that psycho Spider-Man will pose for you. Peter: He won't let me take any more pictures. You turned the whole city against him. Jameson; A fact l'm very proud of. Get your pretty little portfolio off my desk before I go into a diabetic coma. Betty: lt's your wife, she lost her checkbook. - Jameson: Thanks for the good news. Peter: Please, isn't there any of these shts you can use? I need the money. Jameson; Miss Brant. Get me a violin. Robbie; Five minutes to deadline, Jonah. Jameson: Run a picture of a rancid chicken. Here's the headline: "Food Poisoning Scare Sweeps City." Hoffman: Some food got poisoned? Jameson: l'm a little nauseous. Peter; All right, Mr. Jameson. Jameson: It stinks. Robbie, there's your page one. "Masked Menace Terrorizes Town." Peter; I told you, he's not a menace. -l told you-- - Jameson; l'll take care of it. -l'll give you 150. Peter: Three hundred. Jameson; That's outrageous. Done. Give this to the girl. Peter: Thank you. Jameson: Bye-bye. Peter: Hi. Betty brant: Hey, Pete. I don't think this covers the advance I gave you a couple weeks ago. Peter: Right. -Sorry. Betty: Hey. Chin up, okay? Peter: Watch it, jerk! Dr. Connors. Sorry. Connors: Where were you headed, Parker? Peter: To your class. Connors: My class is over. See me standing here? Peter; I'm sorry. I'm trying. I wanna be here. Connors: Then be here. Look at you, Peter. Your grades have been steadily declining. You're late for class. You always appear exhausted. Your paper on fusion is still overdue. Peter: I know. I'm planning to write it on Dr. Otto Octavius. Connors: Planning is not a major at this university. Octavius is a friend of mine. Better do your research, Parker. Get it done, or I'm failing you. Aunt May: Surprise! Well, say something. Peter: What's the occasion? May:,Really, Peter. It's your birthday! Whether you want to remember it or not. MJ: ; He lives in another reality. Don't you, Pete? Peter; Hi, M.j. MJ: Hi. Peter: Hey, buddy. Harry: Hey. MJ: Long time, no see. Peter: So how's the play? I read a great review. MJ: It's going fine. lt's going good. Harry: She's brilliant in it. MJ: Harry sent me roses. Harry; So where you been, pal? You don't return my calls. Peter: I've been busy. Harry: Taking pictures of Spider-Man? How's the bug these days? May: The less you see of that man, the better. Now, let's all go into the other room and have something to eat. I'll get the hors d'oeuvres. Peter; So how are things going at Oscorp? Harry; They're great. I'm head of Special Projects. We're about to make a breakthrough on fusion. May; How lovely, Harry. Your father would be so proud, rest his soul. Harry: Thank you. We're actually funding one of your idols, Pete. Otto Octavius. Peter: l'm writing a paper on him. Harry: You want to meet him? Peter; You'd introduce me? Harry: You bet. Octavius is gonna put Oscorp on the map... ...in a way my father never even dreamed of. May: M.j., could you give me a hand? Harry: She's waiting for you, pal. Peter: What do you mean? Harry: The way she looks at you or doesn't look at you. However you want to look at it. Peter; I don't have time for girls right now. Harry; Why, are you dad? Peter: I've been kind of busy. Harry: Taking pictures of your friend? Peter: Could we get off that subject? I want us to be friends, Harry. I want us to trust each other. Harry; Then be honest with me. If you knew who he was, would you tell me? Peter: May. May; Oh, what, Ben? Wait. Peter: Aunt May. May; Oh, my. Oh, Peter. Oh, for a second there, I thought I was years ago. Everybody's gone, aren't they? Did they have a good time? Peter: I'm sure they did. You okay? - May; Of course. But you go home. And be careful. l don't like that scooter thing you drive around. Peter; I'm worried about you. You're so alone. And l saw the letter from the bank. May; Oh, my. You did? Oh, well. So? I'm a little behind. Everybody is. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm tired, and you better start back home. Here, kiddo. Happy birthday. You need it more than I do. Peter: No, I can't take that from you. May; Yes, you can! You can take this money from me. For God's sake, it's not much. Now, take it! And don't you dare leave it here. Oh, l'm sorry. It's just that l miss your uncle Ben so much. Can you believe that it's two years next month since he was taken? I think to myself at times... ...were I to face the one responsible for what happened, l'd.... Oh, l don't know what l'd do. Now... ...you better take the rest of your cake home. MJ; Hey. Peter; Hey. You're still here. I saw your billboard on Bleecker. MJ; Isn't it funny? I'm really kind of embarrassed. Peter: Don't be. lt's nice. I get to see you every day now. MJ: I liked seeing you tonight, Peter. Peter: Oh, boy, yeah. MJ: "Oh, boy, yeah" what? Peter: Nothing. MJ: Do you want to say something? Peter: I... ...was... ...wondering if you're still in the Village. MJ: You're such a mystery. Peter. Peter: What? MJ; Happy birthday. I'm seeing somebody now. Peter; You mean, like a boyfriend? MJ: Well, like I like him. What? Peter: Nothing. That's good, you know? Companionship.... MJ; May be more than that. Peter: More? MJ: I don't know. Peter: I'm coming to see your play tomorrow night. MJ: You're coming? Peter: l'll be there. MJ: Don't disappoint me. Peter; I won't. Mr Ditkovich: Rent. Peter:,Hi. Mr ditkovich: Hi. What's "hi"? Can l spend it? Peter: I have a paycheck due this week and-- Mr Ditkovich; You're a month late again. Again. Peter:,l promise as soon as-- Mr Ditkovich: If promises were crackers, my daughter would be fat. Peter: I'm really sorry, Mr. Ditkovitch. All I got is this 20 for the rest of the week. Mr Ditkovich: "Sorry" doesn't pay the rent. And don't try to sneak past me. I have ears like a cat and eyes like a rodent. Peter: Thanks, Mr. Ditkovitch. - Ursula: Hi, Pete. Peter: Hello? Mr Ditkovich; Rent? Doctor? Mr. Osborn's here. Harry: Nobel Prize, Otto. Nobel Prize. And we'll all be rich. Otto Octavius; It's not about the prizes, Harry. Harry; But you need money. You need Oscorp. Otto; Who do we have here? Harry; This is my good friend I called you about. He got me through high-school science. Peter: Peter Parker, sir. I'm writing a paper on you for-- Otto: I know what you're doing here... ...but l don't have time to talk to students now. But Oscorp pays the bills, so.... Harry: That's why I have to take off. Board meeting. But my job is done here. Got you two geniuses together. Good luck tomorrow, Otto. Nobel Prize. We'll see you in Sweden! Otto: Interesting fellow, your friend. Peter; I won't take much of your time. Otto: Now I remember you. Your Connors' student. He tells me you're brilliant. He also tells me you're lazy. Peter; I'm trying to do better. Otto: Being brilliant's not enough, young man. You have to work hard. Intelligence is not a privilege, it's a gift. And you use it for the good of mankind. Scientist: You want to try it back there? Peter; So is that it? Otto: Yes. My design to initiate and sustain fusion. Peter; I understand you use harmonics of atomic frequencies. Otto: Sympathetic frequencies. Peter: Harmonic reinforcement? Otto: Go on. Peter: An exponential increase in energy output. Otto: A huge amount of energy. Like a perpetual sun providing renewable power for the whole world. Peter: Are you sure you could sab the fusion reaction? Otto; Peter, what have we been talking about for the last hour and a half? This is my life's work. I certainly know the consequences of the slightest miscalculation. Peter: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to question you. Otto: Rosie, our new friend thinks I'm gonna blow up the city. You can sleep soundly tonight. Rosa line: Otto's done his homework. Come to the demonstration tomorrow, and you'll see for yourself. And you need to sleep soundly tonight, Otto. Otto: Did Edison sleep before he turned on the light? Did Marconi sleep before he turned on the radio? Did Beethoven sleep before he wrote the 5th? Peter: Did Bernoulli sleep before he found the curves of quickest descent? Otto; Rosie, l love this boy. Rosaline: Peter, tell us about yourself. Do you have a girlfriend? Peter; Well.... I don't really know. Otto: Well, shouldn't you know? I mean, who would know? Rosa line: Leave him alone. Maybe it's a secret love. Otto: Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside... ...gonna make you sick. I finally got lucky in love. Rosa line; We both did. But it's hardly perfect. You have to work at it. I met him on the college steps, and l knew it wasn't going to be easy. He was studying science, and l was studying English literature. Otto; That's right. l was trying to explain the theory of relativity. And Rosie was trying to explain T.S. Eliot. I still don't understand what he was talking about. Rosa line: Yes, you do. Otto: l'm serious. T.S. Eliot is more complicated than advanced science. But if you want to get a woman to fall in love with you, feed her poetry. Peter; Poetry. Otto;,Never fails. Peter: A tall and slender maiden All alone upon a prairie Brightest green were all her garments And her hair was like the sunshine Day by day he gazed upon her Mr Ditkovich: Rent! Where is my money?! Actress: You seem jittery tonight. MJ; You never know who's coming. Ladies, five minutes. Five minutes. Amazed kid: How'd you do that? Peter: Work out, plenty of rest. You know, eat your green vegetables. Amazed kid: That's what my mom is always saying. I just never actually believed her. Robber; Come on. Go. Keep it steady. Woman at web: It's a web. Go, Spidey, go! We got trouble! Get me down! MJ; I am more than content with what Mr. Moncrieff said. His voice alone inspires one with absolute credulity. Actress: Then you think we should forgive them? MJ: Yes. I mean, no. Policeman: Hey. Hey. Hey, chief. You park there, I'm towing it. Peter: Whatever. Snooty usher; Shoelace. You might want to.... -Can l help you? Peter; Yeah, I've come to see the show. Snooty usher: Oh, l'm sorry, sir. No one will be seated after the doors are closed. It helps maintain the illusion. Peter: Miss Watson, she's a friend of mine. She asked me to come. But not to come late. Peter: I have to see this show. Just let me in, l'll stand in the-- A Spider-Man A Spider-Man A-does whatever a spider can A-spins a web, any size Catches thieves a-just like flies Look out Here comes the Spider-Man Actress: You sure you don't wanna come tonight? MJ; Yeah, l'm sure. -Okay. Call me. MJ: l will. -You were great tonight. MJ: Thanks. John Jameson; May I have an autograph, please, miss? MJ; What are you doing here? John: You hungry? MJ: Starved. Spider-Man: What was that? Okay. Elevator passenger: Cool Spidey outfit. Peter: Thanks. Elevator passenger;,Where'd you get it? Peter: I made it. Elevator passenger: Looks uncomfortable. Peter: Yeah, it gets kind of itchy. And it rides up in the crotch a little bit too. ( voicemail) MJ; Hi. lt's me. Sing your song at the beep. Peter; Hi, M.J. This is Peter. I was on my way to your show and.... Well, I was on my bike.... Are you there? I really was planning on it all day. And... ...l know you predicted I'd disappoint you. MJ; Bingo. Peter: It's amazing, isn't it? How complicated a simple thing... ...like being someplace at 8:00 can become. Actually, there was this obnoxious usher. Somebody has to talk to that usher, M.J. Your time has expired. Please deposit 50 cents for the next five minutes. I wanna tell you the truth. Here it is. I'm Spider-Man. Weird, huh? Now you know why l can't be with you. If my enemies found out about you... ...if you got hurt, I could never forgive myself. I wish I could tell you how l feel about you. Otto: Ladies and gentlemen... ...my wife Rosie and l would like to welcome you this afternoon. But first, before we start... ...has anybody lost a large roll of 20-dollar bills in a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band. It's a terrible joke. But thank you for coming. Today... ...you will witness the birth of a new fusion-based energy source. Safe, renewable energy and cheap electricity for everyone. And now let me introduce my assistants. These four actuators were developed and programmed... ...for the sole purpose of creating successful fusion. They are impervious to heat and magnetism. These smart arms are controlled by my brain through a neural link. Nanowires feed directly into my cerebellum... ...allowing me to use these arms to control fusion reaction... ...in an environment no human hand could enter. Skeptical Scientist; Doctor, if the artificial intelligence in the arms... ...is as advanced as you suggest... ...couldn't that make you vulnerable to them? Otto: How right you are. Which is why l developed this inhibitor chip... ...to protect my higher brain function. It means l maintain control of these arms, instead of them controlling me. And now on to the main event. Give me the blue light, Rosie. Precious tritium is the fuel that makes this project go. There's only 25 pounds of it on the whole planet. I'd like to thank Harry Osborn and Oscorp lndustries for providing it. Harry: Happy to pay the bills, Otto. Otto: Ladies and gentlemen... ...fasten your seat belts. Raymond: Doctor, we have a successful fusion reaction. This is a breakthrough beyond your father's dreams. Harry: Thank you. Raymond : We're producing a thousand-megawatt surplus. Otto: The power of the sun... ...in the palm of my hand. Keep calm! lt's only a spike! It'll soon sab! Scientist: Ladies and gentlemen, please clear the room. Raymond: We have a containment breach! Rosa line: Otto, please get back! Harry; Shut it off, Otto! Shut it off! Otto: It will sab! It's under control! Harry: I'm in charge here! It's my money! I'm in con-- This doesn't change anything. Otto: What are you doing? Spider-Man: Pulling the plug. Otto: No! Rosie! Watch it. That was too close. If he had more than a drop of tritium, he could have destroyed the city. Harry: I'm ruined. I have nothing left, except Spider-Man. He saved your life, sir. Harry; He humiliated me by touching me. The press will be here soon. I suggest we move on. Harry; What was he doing here anyway? Doctor: Molten metal penetrated the spinal cavity... ...and fused the vertebrae at multiple points... ...including the lamina and the roof of the spinal column. We won't know the extent of the damage until we get in there. I suggest we cut off these mechanical arms, slice up the harness... ...and, if need be, consider a laminectomy... ...with posterior spinal fusion from C7-T1 to T12. Nurse: We're ready, doctor. Doctor; Anybody here take shop class? Help me! Help me! No! Jameson; It's all over town, Robbie. Gossip. Rumours. Panic in the streets, if we're lucky. Crazy scientist turns himself into some kind of a monster. Four mechanical arms welded right onto his body. Guy named Otto Octavius winds up with eight limbs. What are the odds? Hoffman! What are we gonna call this guy? Hoffman: Dr. Octopus. Jameson; That's crap. Hoffman: Science Squid"? Jameson: Crap! Hoffman; "Dr. Strange." - Jameson; That's pretty good. But it's taken. Wait, wait! I got it. "Dr. Octopus." Hoffman: l like it. Jameson; Of course you do. Dr. Octopus. New villain in town. "Doc Ock." -Genius. -What, are you looking for a raise? Get out. Chief, I found Parker. Jameson; Where you been? Why don't you pay your phone bill. Mad scientist goes berserk, we don't have pictures! I heard Spider-Man was there. Where were you? Photographing squirrels? You're fired. Betty: Chief, the planetarium party. Jameson: You're un-fired. I need you, come here. What do you know about high society? Peter: Oh. Well, l-- - Jameson: Don't answer that. My society photographer got ht in the head by a polo ball. You're all I got. Big party for an American hero. My son, the astronaut. Peter: Could you pay me in advance? Jameson: You serious? Pay you for what? Standing there? The planetarium, tomorrow night, 8:00. There's the door. Otto: My Rosie's dad. My dream is dad. And these... ...monstrous things should be at the bottom of the river... ...along with me. Something... ...in my head. Something talking. The inhibitor chip! Gone. Rebuild. No. Peter was right. I miscalculated. I couldn't have miscalculated. It was working, wasn't it? Yes. We could rebuild. Enlarge the containment field. Make it bigger and stronger than ever. But we need money. Steal it? No, no, no, I'm not a criminal. That's right. The real crime would be not to finish what we started. We'll do it here. The power of the sun in the palm of my hand. Nothing will stand in our way. Nothing! May; That's the social security. Bank teller: Yes, I see. Peter: My uncle Ben's life insurance. Bank teller: Yes, but l'm afraid... ...it's just not sufficient to refinance your home. May: Oh, but l'm giving piano lessons again. Peter: You are? Bank teller: We appreciate that you've just opened up... ...a new supersaver account with us today. But the fact is... ...you do not have the assets to justify this loan. l'm sorry. May; Well.... At least we get the toaster. Bank teller: Actually, that's only with a deposit of 300 or more. May: Oh, yes, I see. Okay. Peter: Don't worry, we'll figure it out. May: Peter? Don't leave me. Bank teller; Oh, that boy of yours is a real hero. Guard: Hold it! Put your arms up! All of them! Spider-Man: Here's your change! Oh, no. Come on! Doc Ock: You're getting on my nerves. Spider-Man: l have a knack for that. Doc Ock: Not anymore. Guard: Freeze! Don't move! -Freeze! -Hold your fre! Doc Ock: Don't follow me. Wait a second. Spider-Man; Hand her over. Doc Ock: Of course. Spider-Man; Easy, now. Doc Ock: Butterfingers. Man dodging Debris; Look out! May: Help me! -Help me! Spider-Man: l'm coming! Hang on! May; Help! Thank you. Spider-Man; Aunt May. Doc Ock; You've stuck your webs in my business for the last time. Now you'll have this woman's death on your conscience. Come on. May; Shame on you. Spider-Man: There you go. May: Thank you. Oh, have l been wrong about you. Spider-Man: We sure showed him. May: What do you mean, "we"? Girl: Take me with you, Spider-Man. Girl: Take me. -May I? -Sure. Go ahead. Penny! Over here! Harry; Leave it. Peter: Hey. Might wanna take it easy, buddy. Harry; Why? It's a party. Wouldn't you be drinking if you lost a bundle on some crackpot... ...who you thought was gonna take you with him to fame and fortune? Not to mention your friend the bug. Peter; Not tonight, Harry. Harry: Every night! Until I find him, it's 24/7. Jameson: Parker! Parker! What, are you deaf? I called you twice. Think l'm paying you to sip champagne? Get a sht of my wife with the minister. Mrs Jameson; Beautiful tie. Jameson; Get a sht of us with the DA. Mrs Jameson: Beautiful dress. Jameson: Here, get a sht of the mayor and his girlfriend. Wife. Society woman: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. The committee for the Science Library of New York... ...is pleased to present our guest of honour. He's the first man to play football on the moon. The handsome, the heroic, the delicious... ...Captain John Jameson. Peter: Hi. MJ: Oh , You. Peter: Listen, l'm sorry. But there was a disturbance. MJ: I don't know you. And l can't keep thinking about you. It's too painful. I've been reading poetry lately. MJ: Whatever that means. Peter: Day by day he gazed upon her Day by day he sighed with passion Day by day-- MJ: Don't start. Peter: Can l get you a drink? MJ; I'm with john. He'll get me my drink. Peter; John. MJ: By the way, John has seen my show five times. Harry has seen it twice. Aunt May has seen it. My sick mother got out of bed to see it. Even my father. He came backstage to borrow cash. But my best friend, who cares so much about me... ...can't make an 8:00 curtain. After all these years... ...he's nothing to me but an empty seat. Harry; It pisses me off, your loyalty to Spider-Man and not to your best friend. I find him with my father's body, and you defend him. Peter: Take it easy. Harry; Don't push me. Don't act like you're my friend. You stole M.j. from me. You stole my father's love. Then you let him die because you didn't turn in the freak. lsn't that right? Huh? lsn't that right? Huh, brother? John Jameson:,Ladies and gentlemen, I just want you all to know... ...that the beautiful Miss Mary Jane Watson has just agreed to marry me. What a surprise. Jameson: Parker, wake up! Wake up! sh*t the picture! Spider-Man: Oh, no. No! Why is this happening to me? Dr Davis: You seem very okay to me. My diagnosis? It's up here. You say you can't sleep. Heartbreak? Bad dreams? Peter: There is one dream where... ...in my dream... ...l'm Spider-Man. But l'm losing my powers. I'm climbing a wall, but l keep falling. Dr Davis: So you're Spider-Man. Peter: In my dream. Actually, it's not even my dream. It's a friend of mine's dream. Dr Davis: Somebody else's dream. What about this friend? Why does he climb these walls? What does he think of himself? Peter: That's the problem. He doesn't know what to think. Dr Davis: Gotta make you mad not to know who you are. Your soul disappears. Nothing as bad as uncertainty. Listen... ...maybe you're not supposed to be Spider-Man climbing those walls. That's why you keep falling. You always have a choice, Peter. Peter; I have a choice. Ben Parker: All the things you've been thinking about, Peter... ...make me sad. Peter: Can't you understand? I'm in love with Mary Jane. Ben: Peter, all the times we've talked of honesty... ...fairness, justice.... Out of those times, I counted on you to have the courage... ...to take those dreams out into the world. Peter: I can't live your dreams anymore. I want a life of my own. Ben: You've been given a gift, Peter. With great power comes great responsibility. Take my hand, son. Peter; No, Uncle Ben. I'm just Peter Parker. I'm Spider-Man... ...no more. No more. You punk! Peter: Sorry. -Thanks. Hot dog vendor; You're welcome. Hurry up! Dr Curt Connors: And when the borderline is tau equals zero, the eigenvalues are...? Someone, please? Peter: .23 electron volts. Connors: Excellent work today, Parker. Keep it up. Actor: I'm not really wicked at all. You mustn't think that I'm wicked. MJ: If you are not, then you have certainly been deceiving us all... ...in a very inexcusable manner. I hope you have not been leading a double life... ...pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy. Of course, I have been rather reckless. "I am glad." Are you glad to hear it? MJ: I am glad... ...to hear it. In fact, now you mention the subject... ...l have been very bad in my own small way. Peter; You were so wonderful. That was such a great play. MJ: You could've told me you were coming. Peter; I was afraid you'd say, "Don't come." MJ: You look different. Peter: I shined my shoes, pressed my pants, did my homework. I do my homework now. You wanna get some chow mein? MJ; Peter... ...l'm getting married. Peter; I always imagined you getting married on a hilltop. MJ: And who's the groom? Peter: You hadn't decided yet. MJ: You think just because you saw my play... ...you can talk me out of getting married? Peter: You once told me you loved me. I let things get in the way before. There was something l thought I had to do. I don't have to. MJ; You're too late. Peter: Will you think about it? MJ: Think about what? Peter; Picking up where we left off. MJ: Where was that? We never got on. You can't get off if you don't get on. Peter: I don't think it's that simple. MJ: Of course you don't, because you complicate things. Peter; You don't understand. I'm not an empty seat anymore. I'm different. Punch me, l bleed. MJ; I have to go. I'm getting married in a church. You are different. Jameson: Dear, we agreed to put on a wedding, not go into bankruptcy. Caviar? What, are we inviting the czar? Get some cheese and crackers, some of those little cocktail weenies. Betty: I got a garbage man here says he's got something you might want to see. Jameson: If you have an extraterrestrial's head in there, you're the third guy this week. Robbie: Where the hell did you get that? Garbage man: In the garbage. Jameson: In the garbage? He must've given up. Thrown in the towel. Abandoned his sad little masquerade. I finally got to him. The power of the press triumphs. Garbage man; Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, look, I think I deserve a little something for this. Jameson: Give you 50 bucks. Garbage man: l could get more than that on eBay. Jameson; All right, 100. Give this man his money and throw in a bar of soap. Betty; Your wife is still on that line. Jameson: Flowers? How much? You spend any more on this thing, you can pick the daisies off my grave. Get plastic. Gotta go, big story. Spider-Man Spider-Man Where have you gone to Spider-Man? Robber: Come on, man. Get the money. Come on, come on. Help! Come on! May;,It wasn't fair to have gone like that. He was a peaceful man. And it was all my doing. Peter: Aunt May. You don't have to punish yourself. May: Oh, l know I shouldn't. It's just that you wanted to take the subway... ...and he wanted to drive you. If only I had stopped him. We'd all three of us be having tea together. Peter; I'm responsible. May; For what? Peter; For what happened to Uncle Ben. May: But you were at the library. You were doing your homework. Peter; He drove me to the library, but I never went in. May: What do you mean? Peter: I went someplace else. Someplace where l thought I could win some money... ...to buy a car, because I wanted... ...to impress Mary Jane. It happened so fast. I won the money, and the guy wouldn't pay me. Then he got robbed. The thief... ...was running towards me. I could've stopped him, but I wanted... ...revenge. I let him go. I let him get away. He wanted a car. He tried to take Uncle Ben's. Uncle Ben said no... ...and then he sht him. Uncle Ben was klled that night... ...for being the only one who did the right thing. And l.... I held his hand... ...when he died. I've tried to tell you so many times. Just one more little chore. Harry: Where are you? Houseman: l'm leaving for the night, sir. Harry: Fine. Houseman:,Your father only obsessed over his work. Harry: Good night, Bernard. Doc Ock: Hello, Harry. Harry: Otto. What do you want? Doc Ock: That precious tritium. But l need more of it this time. Harry: More tritium, are you crazy? You'll destroy the city! You're a hack! Hey! Hey! Stop! Stop! All right! All right, all right, all right. Put me down. We'll make a deal. kll Spider-Man, I'll give you all the tritium you need. On second thought, bring him to me alive. Doc Ock: How do l find him? Harry: Peter Parker. Doc Ock: Parker? Harry: He takes pictures of Spider-Man for the Bugle. Make him tell you where he is. Doc Ock; Have it ready. Peter: Don't hurt Peter! Somebody, help! fre! Man at fre: Alisa, the Chens can't find their daughter. Have you seen her? Somebody call the fre department! Help! -Help! Peter: ls anybody in that building? We think there's a kid stuck on the second floor. Hey, where you going?! Peter: I'm coming! It's okay. It's okay. Come here. I'm gonna get you out of here. Come on. Come on. Kid: Mama. Firefighter: You got some guts, kid. Some poor soul got trapped on the fourth floor. Never made it out. Oh, man. Firefighter 2 : All right, Billy, let's knock it down and roll them up. Get on out of here. Let's pick it up! Let's get all this equipment, let's go! Let's move it! Peter: Am l not supposed to have what I want? What l need? What am I supposed to do? Ursula: I shouldn't have without... ...knocking. Peter: Come in. Ursula; Hi. Peter: Hi. Ursula: Would you like a piece of chocolate cake? Peter; Okay. Ursula: And a glass of milk? Peter: That would be nice. Ursula; Okay. Peter: Thank you. Ursula: You got a message. It's your aunt. Peter; Thanks. What's going on? May: Oh, they gave me another few weeks, but I decided the hell with it. I'm moving on. I found a small apartment. Peter: Why didn't you tell me? May: I'm quite able to take care of things myself. And Henry jackson across the street is giving me a hand... ...and l'm giving him $5. Peter: That's Henry Jackson? May: Yes. lt's funny what happens in two years. Nine years old, has great ambitions. Peter: Listen, about my last visit.... May: Pish-posh, we needn't talk about it. It's water over the dam or under the bridge or wherever you like it. But you made a brave move in telling me the truth. And l'm proud of you. And l thank you, and l.... I love you, Peter. So very, very much. Peter: Hey. Where are all my comic books? May: Those dreadful things? I gave those away. Henry: l put the pans in the box, Mrs. Parker. May: Thank you, Henry. Henry; Hi, Peter. Peter: Hey, Henry. You're getting tall. May: Henry, why don't you put those cookbooks in with the mixer. Henry: Okay. You take Spider-Man's pictures, right? Peter: I used to. Henry: Where is he? May: Henry and l agree. We don't see his picture in the paper anymore. Peter: He... -...quit. Henry: Why? Peter: Wanted to try other things. Henry; He'll be back, right? Peter: I don't know. May: You'll never guess who he wants to be. Spider-Man. Peter: Why? May: He knows a hero when he sees one. Too few characters out there, flying around like that... ...saving old girls like me. And Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people... ...setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them. Cheer them. Scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours... ...just to get a glimpse of the one... ...who taught them to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us... ...that keeps us honest... ...gives us strength... ...makes us noble... ...and finally allows us to die with pride. Even though sometimes we have to be steady... ...and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams. Spider-Man did that for Henry... ...and he wonders where he's gone. He needs him. Do you think you could lift that desk and put it into the garage for me? But don't strain yourself. Peter: Okay. Strong focus on what I want. I'm back! My back. John: Honey, you sure you don't want to invite your friend, the photographer? Peter Parker? MJ: Positive. John: Thought he was your pal. MJ: Peter Parker? John: Yeah. MJ: He's just a great big jerk. John: The world's full of great big jerks. MJ; You're adorable. John; It's just the uniform. MJ; Lean your head back for me. John; Put my head back? MJ: Yeah, just do it. John: Just put my head back? Okay. Wow. I'm back on the moon. You up there with me? Peter: Hiya. MJ: Surprised? Peter: Very. MJ; Thanks for coming. Peter: Everything okay? MJ: You might say so. This is funny. I'm not sure how to begin. You know how our minds play tricks on us. Peter: Tell me about it. MJ: Well, mine did a real number on me. Some part of me heard what you had to say after the show that night... ...that you were different. But l didn't want to listen. I was afraid to trust you. But l've been thinking about it-- Peter: Listen, there's more for me to say. I maybe rushed into things. I thought-- MJ: Wait a minute. What are you saying? Peter; I'm saying.... I thought I could be there for you, Mary jane... ...but l can't. My mind was playing tricks too. MJ: Do you love me, or not? Peter: I... ...don't. MJ: You don't. Kiss me. Peter: Kiss you? MJ: I need to know something. Just one kiss. What's happening? Doc Ock: Peter Parker... ...and the girlfriend. Peter: What do you want? Doc Ock: I want you to find your friend Spider-Man. Tell him to meet me at the Westside Tower at 3:00. Peter: I don't know where he is. Doc Ock; Find him. Or I'll peel the flesh off her bones. Peter: If you lay one finger on her.... Doc Ock: He’ ll do what? Robbie: Still no word on the whereabouts of your son's fiancée. Sorry, jonah. Jameson: It's all my fault. I drove Spider-Man away. He was the only one who could've stopped Octavius. Yes. Spider-Man was a hero. I just couldn't see it. He was a-- A thief! A criminal! He stole my suit! He's a menace to the entire city! I want that wall-crawling arachnid prosecuted! I want him strung up by his web! I want Spider-Man! Spider-Man: Where is she? Doc Ock: Oh, she'll be just fine. Let's talk. What the hell? Doc Ock: You have a train to catch. Train driver; Help! Help! Help! I can't stop it! The brakes are gone! Passenger: lt's Spider-Man. Oh, my God, this is it! Peter: Tell everyone to hang on! Train driver; Brace yourselves! Any more bright ideas? Peter: I got a few, yeah! Whoa, watch out! We're slowing down. Nice and easy, we'll go down. Slower. Gently. Passenger: Is he alive? He's... ...just a kid. No older than my son. It's all right. Kid: We found something. We won't tell nobody. It's good to have you back, Spider-Man. Doc Ock; He's mine! Passenger: You want to get to him, you got to go through me. And me. Me too. Doc Ock: Very well. Where do you want him? And the tritium? Harry: Yes. If only I could cause you the pain that you've caused me. First we'll see who's behind the mask. I can look into your eyes as you die. Pete. No. It can't be. Peter; Harry. Where is she? Where is he keeping her? -He's got M.j. Harry: No, All he wanted was the tritium. Peter: Tritium? He's making the machine again. When that happens, she'll die, along with half of New York. -Now, where is he? Harry: Peter... ...you klled my father. Peter: There are bigger things happening here than me and you. Harry, please, l've got to stop him. MJ: Hey! I'm talking to you! You got what you needed for your little science project, now let me go. Doc Ock: I can't let you go, you'd bring the police. Not that anybody could stop me now that Spider-Man's dad. MJ: He's not dad. -l don't believe you. Doc Ock: Believe it. Spider-Man: Surprise. As soon as you get free-- Doc Ock; I should have known Osborn wouldn't have the spine to finish you! Spider-Man: Shut it down, Ock. You're going to hurt a lot more people this time. Doc Ock: Well, that's a risk we're willing to take. Spider-Man: Well, l'm not. Hang on, Mary jane! Run! Let's see you scurry out of this. Peter: Now what? Dr. Octavius. We have to shut it down. Please tell me how. Otto; Peter Parker? "Brilliant but lazy." Peter: Look at what's happening. We must destroy it. Otto: I can't destroy it. I won't. Peter; You once spoke to me about intelligence. That it was a gift to be used for the good of mankind. Otto: A privilege. Peter; These things have turned you into something you're not. Don't listen to them. Otto: It was my dream. Peter: Sometimes, to do what's right, we have to be steady... ...and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams. Otto: You're right. He's right. Listen. Listen to me now. Peter; Now, tell me how to stop it. Otto: It can't be stopped. It's self-sustaining now. -Think! -Unless.... The river. Drown it. I'll do it. Peter: No! MJ: Hi. Peter: This is really heavy. M.j. In case we die.... MJ: You do love me. Peter: I do. MJ: Even though you said you didn't. Otto: I will not die a monster. MJ: I think I always knew... ...all this time... ...who you really were. Peter: Then you know why we can't be together. Spider-Man will always have enemies. I can't let you take that risk. I will... ...always be Spider-Man. You and I can never be. John: Mary jane! Harry: Hello? Who's that? Norman: Son. I'm here. Harry: Dad? -l thought you were-- Norman: No. I'm alive in you, Harry. Now it's your turn. You swore to make Spider-Man pay. Now make him pay. Harry: But Pete's my best friend. Norman: And l'm your father. You're weak. You were always weak. You'll always be weak until you take control. Now you know the truth about Peter. Be strong, Harry. Avenge me. -Avenge me! Harry: No! Jameson: Call Deborah. Mrs Jameson: The caterer? Jameson: Tell her not to open the caviar. MJ: Had to do what l had to do. Peter: Mary jane. MJ; Peter. I can't survive without you. Peter: You shouldn't be here. MJ: I know you think we can't be together. But can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decision? I know there'll be risks. But l want to face them with you. It's wrong that we should only be half-alive... ...half of ourselves. I love you. So here l am, standing in your doorway. I've always been standing in your doorway. Isn't it about time somebody saved your life? Well, say something. Peter;Thank you, Mary jane Watson. MJ: Go get them, tiger.	{"type": "movie", "show": "Spider-Man 2 (2004)", "episode": ""}	foreverdreaming

Subsets and Splits

No community queries yet

The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.