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Yeah, I hit him upside his head. Okay. I mean, I felt that afterwards didn't need to. It's just also mad that right? Yeah. Hey, you feel that way? Uh huh. I just lashed out. Okay. | 8op
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I think if I was able to get the same thing, | 10od
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how do you think you might be able to do that? | 11orq
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Umm | 10od
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Like, this is how we would do it with CBT we would change your thought. So what He gets upset with you and calls you selfish. You start to feel selfish. | 3gc
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Yeah | 7ack
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So how could you not feel selfish? Even if you changed your thought? | 1irq
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Yeah, I mean if I never even thought that I was selfish then I would have been angry. | 0id
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So do you think you're selfish? | 11orq
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Maybe the time I did die and I felt like awful but now like he says the wording for money but we're really not one might want to pay our bills or I want to do things i mean he's just kind of like a cheap person. We have plenty of money to we're not hurting at all and I do not feel confidence I don't think it was selfish to make myself feel prettier you know? But I think people do have their selfish tendencies. | 10od
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So I'm hearing you say is you don't think you're selfish at all. | 4crq
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Oh, I mean, I'm Selfish actuation you don't know if you're being selfish? I really, I really don't know if I had gone and bought a whole new wardrobe with it, but man, I just did my hair. And he had pizza real estate agent. They had sold a big house that week, so we had enough money for me to afford it. Okay, | 6cd
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so instead of thinking I'm selfish, what could you actually think? | 1irq
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I deserve this and then how me sometimes | 0id
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I deserve this? | 4crq
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Yeah. | 6cd
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I mean, who doesn't deserve something every now and then. Right? | 3gc
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Yeah. | 7ack
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Yeah, confident in my decision. I would still feel real sad that paint off But I don't think it would be to the level that it was thought was selfish. | 10od
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So if you felt competent about your decision, because you actually changed your thought, do you think that would in turn change your behavior instead of you actually get an angry you would think there's no need for this? | 11orq
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Yeah, I think it would help me realize that that's his issue and not mine | 3gc
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Right. So how do you think you'd actually behave them? | 1irq
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walk off, okay or he will be able to This is kind of what I'm wanting to get to, as well be able to suppress it and No, man He didn't deserve for me to hit him. He didn't. He said something that upset me, but no one deserves that. | 0id
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Because, you know, you know, you're not selfish. It's just something that makes you feel good. | 3gc
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And I think also, he understood why I did it. Because I mean, he knows that I have some subconscious issues, but I don't think he realizes how bad it was or why I got my hair cut encasing it as she said the most girly things you never asked me feel better about myself, you know, not be as well. Okay. Which goes back to this precedent. So Right. Okay. | 3gc
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So do you think in like in the next coming week that you could actually change your thoughtsin targeted change how you feel? | 11orq
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I could try yeah | 10od
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I like to talk about the depression. | 8op
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Okay. What do you think triggers your depression, what makes you depressed? | 1irq
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Umm well My son kind of at the age where he has only been involved in Why, and kind of always been the housewife And he's been he's always been my wife. You know, I did everything with him on my daughter's practices, but his mom is a boy, that is not mommy's little boy anymore. And so now he's kind of growing up and doing his own thing and then | 0id
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How old is your son? | 1irq
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He's 14. | 0id
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Okay. So the interesting age | 3gc
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Yeah. And so he's kind of coming in a little man who said that he probably offended but like, I don't know if that's where it comes from. honor that that's here lately. You know, I'm used to being at home and I stay with friends and I call myself a lot, or he doesn't like for me to call more. No more kisses and you know And I know that it's normal, but it still makes me feel really depressed. | 3gc
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Okay. Okay. So the situation here is that your son doesn't want to be involved with you as much. | 5yq
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Yeah, no, he's just grown up. | 8op
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No, I mean like It does freak, I was checking on a football player. You're gonna believe it but bigger and bigger. And he he says taking on your dog and he got upset at me because he felt like I was getting in this business and trying to mommy you know, we're not just trying to make sure that he was going to be able to make it there on time that he had all the clothes necessary. And I asked him if he needed a rod and things like that. I just felt like I was betting in this business. And it just made me feel like I'm not needed anymore. | 0id
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So when you What is your exact thought though when when this stuff happens? | 1irq
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do not feel good about it | 0id
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Yeah, that's hard. When you when you've always been needed before? | 4crq
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Yeah. | 6cd
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I fee like what kind of motion you are feeling? | 3gc
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Like sad I was really sad. | 3gc
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In turn, what did you What did you do in that situation? | 1irq
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Umm I don't know | 0id
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Okay. Do you think you use the marijuana also because you're pressed? | 1irq
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Yeah. Yeah, I've never used it before, I mean, it just started like when when I started to feel sad. So yeah. | 0id
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Okay. So and what are you saying for me if I'm wrong is that, you know, your son doesn't want to be involved anymore. You don't feel like you're needed. That's what you say to yourself and that makes you feel sad and lonely. And then in turn you use marijuana. | 3gc
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Yeah. | 7ack
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So, you don't want to do you want to use marijuana? | 5yq
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No, I mean, I don't want my son, If he ever found out like, I would be getting employment. | 9on
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Yeah | 7ack
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So do you think you could do that again? | 5yq
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Yeah. | 8op
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I mean, yeah, I mean, that might make me feel better. Yeah, | 0id
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you know, because he's probably in a good place and active and social one good person because of you. | 3gc
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Yeah. | 7ack
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So that would make you happy I would think. And then no. Maybe then you could, you know, have a different behavior do something different. | 3gc
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Yeah. | 3gc
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Okay. So journaling. Does that sound good? | 3gc
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Yeah. I'll try | 3gc
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I am glad you I came in today. How's it going today for you? | 1irq
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Umm I'm just counting the same as it's been for the last few months. I'm not getting any better. I'm still feeling pretty down. | 0id
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Well, from last week when you talked to me kind of talked about your situation, getting injured on the job, and if you're losing your job, you kind of get to where you didn't want to do anything and sleeping a lot. Its Very hard on you And so I had to take that inventory and turn all those questions, kind of scored that and in fact do pretty severe depression. So I thought we might do today, if it's okay with you is there's a therapy I'd like to try with you to kind of address your depression. It's called cognitive behavioral therapy. If you've ever heard that, | 0id
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I think I may have heard the name. | 7ack
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Okay. Okay. I'll describe it a little bit to you, see if we can kind of work on that therapy to kind of help your depression and I'm thinking this might impact a lot of areas in your life. Getting to work and relationships and stuff and you kind of focus on the depression right now. And then I'd like to drift off talked about that in some situations where you're feeling depressed, if we can want to give you some tools maybe to take home this week, to kind of Talk about the situation's of your depression and thoughts and feelings and stuff. And then and then so next week, we can have some concrete. So think about that. Some of you that we do that today | 0id
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I will try anything. | 0id
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Let's see probably this morning, | 0id
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okay. What was going on this morning? | 1irq
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You know, I just woke up. I think it was like 10 o'clock or so and just couldn't get out of bed. | 0id
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Alright you Woke up and couldn't get out of bed. What's the first thought that came into your mind? | 1irq
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I think at first I thought, you know, why would I get out of it? There's no reason for me to get out of bed. Life's gone. I don't really have many friends anymore don't have a job. What's the point of getting out of bed this morning. | 0id
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How do you you feel about yourself? | 1irq
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worthless I guess. I don't really even matters and you feel really, really bad and worthless | 0id
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because of that feeling, what would you do? Were you able to get out of bed or just stayed in bed? | 1irq
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I stayed in bed until I came here, okay. | 0id
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Let me congratulate you for getting out of bed and coming here today that's a big step. | 0id
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Thank you | 2gt
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You often have those feelings when you're depressed of worthless? | 5yq
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typically Is your response to that feeling stay in bed or? | 5yq
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Let me ask you, Tommy Can you remember a time when you weren't depressed? | 1irq
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Yeah, I mean, before the accident at work, okay Lots of times. It's been found that my kids, | 0id
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tell me a little bit about those times when you can remember before the accident when you weren't experienced Some depressing. | 1irq
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I mean, I'd be lying in bed in the morning, my kids would run jumping, want me out and kind of irritate me a little bit, but I mean, I love having them do that. Get up and make pancakes and have big long breakfast and if there's on the weekend, then we go do something fun, like go to the park or go see a movie or something like that. | 0id
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Knew how you felt back then? How did you feel when those activities were going on? | 11orq
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And I just felt good, just not fear. I felt loved by My kids and I love them. It's just great just felt good. | 10od
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It kind of feel like the opposite of worthless. I mean, they needed you and you felt good and you felt loved and engaged in their life. | 10od
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Yeah, absolutely. | 7ack
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So sometime when you have these worthless feelings of not being able to get out of bed, do you think it would help you to think about times when you felt pretty good about yourself? | 11orq
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Yeah. Yeah, I guess I've never tried that. Yeah, it'll work to try to try that. | 10od
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So maybe when you feeling down, can't get off the couch. Can't get out of bed. I think of some times when it was different for you, you were in a different situation. But you certainly didn't feel this way. And you didn't feel loved engaged Important party. | 0id
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Yeah | 7ack
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What about when you were working? How do you feel about yourself at work? | 11orq
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Well in our factory and we make car parts and stuff, I felt like doing something. I was making parts that were going to color which then someone would use used to try to their job to drive their families. So I felt like I was doing something like I had a purpose when the accident happened, and I lost that And that's when I started to feel worthless. | 0id
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I am glad you can still feel or remember some times when you felt that you did have a purpose, and you felt loved and valued. And I know with depression, it's hard to get up and get out of bed. That's some of the. A lot of people will say, you know, if I'm going to wait till I feel better, and then I'm going to get up and I'm going to get out of bed and then I'm going to do a lot of time with depression, which you actually have to do. You have to get up out of bed and do something, and then you feel better. I know it's kind of hard to do that with these feelings that you're feeling right now. | 0id
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Yeah, I mean, if that makes sense as you said | 7ack
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and sometimes it's helpful to have something scheduled or planned right now in your in your life tell me some things that you might enjoy doing. Might could think about be worth getting out of bed in order to do? | 1irq
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I would say to my wife and kids, that's really an option right now. I'm always loved fishing. Yeah, Always. Always enjoyed doing that. | 0id
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When was the Last time you went fishing? | 1irq
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It was a long time ago. I mean, way before the accident | 0id
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