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clear cell odontogenic carcinoma is a rare odontogenic tumor arising from anterior region of mandible and has predilection for females .
it is a potentially aggressive tumor which is capable of frequent recurrences and locoregional and distant metastases . here ,
we present a case of ccoc in a 64-year - old male patient in mandibular anterior region with a soft tissue recurrence , 5 years after wide surgical resection of mandible and was unusually associated with squamous cell carcinoma .
a 64-year - old male patient presented with a diffuse swelling in anterior region of mandible extending towards both right and left parasymphyseal region and extending inferiorly upto lower border of mandible .
the lesion was of 1-year duration with rapid increase in size since 3 months [ figure 1a ] . clinical photograph of recurrence ( a ) extraoral swelling ( b ) intraoral ulcerated growth intraoral examination revealed an intrabony swelling in symphyseal and parasymphyseal region of mandible extending from 36 to 46 .
the lesion was of size 8 5 cm with expansion of both buccal and lingual cortical plates and mobility of 33,34,35,43 and 44 .
floor of the mouth was raised but overlying mucosa was intact [ figure 1b ] .
opg showed an ill - defined radiolucency extending from 36 to 46 [ figure 2 ] .
opg showing absence of mandible from left angle to right angle region of mandible after resection clinical diagnosis of malignant neoplasm was done and incisional biopsy was performed at government medical college and hospital and histopathological diagnosis of metastatic carcinoma was given , details of which were not available . to rule out renal cell carcinoma as a primary neoplasm
, usg abdomen was done for kidney but was found to be normal except a small , single cortical cyst in right kidney of size 2 2 cm . however , in view of histopathological diagnosis of malignant neoplasm , wide surgical resection of mandible was done from right angle to left angle of mandible , sparing the rami of both sides .
the resected specimen of mandible was sent to government dental college and hospital , for processing .
the gross specimen received was a resected part of mandible from left angle to right angle , of size 9 5 5 cm comprising 33 , 34 , 35 , 43 and 44 teeth .
both the cortical plates were perforated revealing a soft tissue mass , firm in consistency on lingual side in symphyseal and parasymphyseal region of both right and left side , wheareas on buccal side this soft tissue mass was seen extending only on right side .
microscopic examination revealed the presence of numerous , large irregular lobules of malignant odontogenic epithelial clear cells separated by fibrous septae [ figure 3a ] .
these cells were large , polygonal with abundant clear cytoplasm and eccentrically placed nuclei exhibiting significant cellular and nuclear pleomorphism , hyperchromatism and few mitotic figures ; revealing a typical monophasic pattern of ccoc consisting entirely of clear cells [ figure 3b ] .
photomicrograph of primary clear cell odontogenic carcinoma lesion ( monophasic pattern ) showing ( a ) large lobules of clear cells separated by fibrous septae ( h&e stain , 100 ) ( b ) clear cells with cellular and nuclear pleomorphism , hyperchromatism and few mitotic figures ( h&e stain , 400 ) the abundant clear cytoplasm of cells was positive for pas stain [ figure 4a ] .
these cells were immunoreactive for pan cytokeratin [ figure 4b ] and negative for s-100 protein [ figure 4c ] .
photomicrograph of primary lesion shows ( a ) pas - positive clear cells ( pas stain , 400 ) ( b ) cytokeratin 19 positive clear cells ( ihc stain , x400 ) ( c ) s-100 negative clear cells ( ihc stain , 400 ) in view of all the above findings , histopathological diagnosis of ccoc with monophasic pattern was given .
the resection of mandible was further followed by reconstruction of mandible with incorporation of plate , which subsequently got infected and thereby removed and then the patient was lost for follow - up . however , the patient reported back after 5 years with a diffuse swelling on left side of face since 2 months , associated with intermittent pain .
patient was unable to open the mouth completely because of the strictures formed in the labial and buccal vestibule .
however , a soft tissue growth could be observed in lower labial vestibule in 32 , 33 region extending onto the labial mucosa near the angle of the mouth on left side .
a single , firm - to - hard submandibular lymph node was palpable on left side .
incisional biopsy was performed from a soft tissue growth in lower labial vestibule and was sent for processing .
a specimen received was a brownish white soft tissue , of size 1 0.5 cm and was soft in consistency .
superficial part of the lesion consisted of severely dysplastic stratified squamous surface epithelium with infiltration of large sheets of malignant epithelial cells in subjacent connective tissue [ figure 5a and b ] .
photomicrograph of recurrent lesion ( biphasic pattern ) - h & e - stained section of superficial part of the lesion shows ( a ) sheets of malignant epithelial cells infiltrating into subadjacent connective tissue ( x100 ) ( b ) malignant epithelial cells infiltrating into subadjacent connective tissue ( 400 ) whereas deepest part of the lesion comprised of numerous small lobules of malignant odontogenic clear cells [ figure 6a and b ] and numerous small groups of darkly stained basaloid cells [ figure 6c ] scattered in a loose connective tissue stroma , revealing a typical biphasic pattern of ccoc .
photomicrograph of recurrent lesion ( biphasic pattern ) - h&e - stained section of deeper part of the lesion shows ( a ) small lobules of clear cells ( x100 ) ( b ) high power - view of small lobules of clear cells ( x400 ) ( c ) small groups of basaloid cells ( x400 ) intermediate part of the lesion showed somewhat mixed picture with few areas of clear cells and basaloid cells intermixed with few malignant epithelial cells .
these clear cells were diastase - labile pas positive [ figure 7a and b ] and were mucicarmine negative [ figure 7c ] .
all the cells were intensely positive for cytokeratin 19 [ figure 8a and b ] and were negative for s-100 protein [ figure 8c ] excluding the possibility of salivary gland neoplasm .
malignant squamous epithelial cells present in the superficial part of the neoplasm were negative for calretinin [ figure 8d ] excluding the possibility of odontogenic origin .
photomicrograph of recurrent lesion with special stains ( a ) pas - positive clear cells ( pas stain , x400 ) ( b ) diastase labile clear cells ( diastase enzyme reaction , x400 ) ( c ) mucicarmine - negative clear cells ( mucicaramine stain , x400 ) immunohistochemistry of the recurrent lesion ( a ) cytokeratin 19 positive malignant epithelial cells ( ihc stain , x400 ) ( b ) cytokeratin 19 positive cells in intermediate part ( ihc stain , 100 ) , ( c ) s-100 protein negative cells in intermediate part ( ihc stain , 100 ) ( d ) calretinin - negative malignant epithelial cells ( ihc stain , x40 ) therefore , the case was diagnosed histopathologically as recurrence of ccoc in soft tissue with typical biphasic pattern as against monophasic pattern seen in the primary neoplasm with an unusual association of primary squamous cell carcinoma .
since , the patient was old , debilitated and reluctant to undergo any further therapy ; he was kept on symptomatic treatment and regular follow - up .
but he did not report for follow - up and died of the disease almost after 1 year of recurrence .
later waldren in 1985 reported a locally aggressive odontogenic neoplasm and named it as clear cell odontogenic tumor .
although originally it was thought to be benign and classified as a ccot by who in 1992 : on the basis of their aggressive behavior , predilection for local recurrence , evidence of distant metastasis , histologically distinct malignant features and tumor related deaths , these tumors were considered as malignant and subsequently classified as clear cell odontogenic carcinoma by who in 2005 . to date 73 cases has been reported in english literature .
odontogenic neoplasms composed predominantly of clear cells are quite unusual and pose a diagnostic challenge .
the classic clinical presentation of ccoc is painful anterior mandibular swelling in elderly women , loosening of adjacent teeth and ill defined irregular radiolucency with resorption of roots .
histopathologically ccoc may show one or more of the architectural patterns , biphasic , monophasic and ameloblastomatous .
the most common biphasic pattern consists of both clear cells and basaloid cells in a fibrous stroma . the monophasic pattern composed entirely of clear cells whereas ameloblastomatous pattern resembles the growth pattern of ameloblastoma with peripheral palisading and reversal of polarity .
mitotic figure is not a reliable factor for detecting malignancy in odontogenic tumors so the diagnosis of malignancy is done considering significant cyto - nuclear atypia .
the differential diagnosis includes intraosseous mec ; metastatic renal cell carcinoma ; clear cell variant of ceot ; clear cell differentiation in ameloblastoma , squamous cell carcinoma and amelanotic melanoma .
this case of ccoc had primarily involved anterior mandible in 64-year - old male , which comprised entirely of clear cells revealing typical monophasic pattern .
these clear cells showed significant cellular and nuclear pleomorphism with hyperchromatic nuclei and few mitotic figures . in the primary lesion ,
various special stains like pas , mucicarmine and immunostaining ( s-100 protein ) was done to rule out other clear cell neoplasms .
wide surgical resection of mandible was done for primary lesion of ccoc but was not followed by radiotherapy , since no obvious soft tissue involvement was seen during surgery along with absence of lymph node involvement .
it is known that 43% of cases recur even after wide surgical resection whereas overall rate of recurrence is 55% .
of course this figure is quite low compared to much higher recurrence rate of 80% after curettage .
so the treatment should be aimed at achieving wide surgical resection with tumor - free margins , loco - regional control by lymph node resection and adjuvant radiation in cases with extensive soft tissue invasion . and
long - term follow - up is necessary to look for loco - regional recurrence and distant metastasis to lungs and bone even after appropriate therapy . in this case
, the lesion recurred after 5 years of wide surgical resection of mandible indicating its potential aggressiveness or possibly since both cortical plates were perforated , some soft tissue involvement might have been present .
but the interesting part was that this recurrence in soft tissue was with an unusual presentation .
the recurrence was in the form of soft tissue growth in lower labial vestibule on left side .
since there was diffuse swelling of left side of face , we tried to locate for the growth in buccal vestibule on the same side but could not do so , as the patient was unable to open the mouth because of strictures formed on that side after surgery .
firstly , this lesion has shown typical biphasic pattern of ccoc comprising several small lobules of odontogenic clear cell and small groups of darkly stained basaloid cells in a loose connective tissue stroma instead of monophasic pattern , entirely of clear cells of primary lesion . secondly , still more interesting finding was the infiltration of malignant epithelial cells in the superficial most part of the lesion just beneath the dysplastic stratified squamous surface epithelium breaking the basement membrane , suggestive of squamous cell carcinoma . although , these features were obviously of ccoc indicative of recurrence , presence of these malignant epithelial cells posed a problem in final diagnosis .
so to rule out clear cell differentiation in scc , adenosquamous carcinoma and salivary gland neoplasms , special staining and immunohistochemistry was done . since clear cells were mucicarmine negative and s-100 protein negative , the possibility of salivary gland neoplasm was excluded .
these clear cells were positive for diastase digestive pas stain indicating the presence of intracytoplasmic glycogen , consistent with ccoc .
so , to separate out scc from recurrent ccoc , calretinin tumor marker was applied where superficially placed malignant squamous epithelial cells were negative indicating their non - odontogenic nature ; however , deeper part of the section was washed out during staining and another section could not be obtained as the tissue was exhausted .
so the final diagnosis of recurrence of ccoc in soft tissue with a biphasic pattern as against monophasic pattern of primary neoplasm along with unusual association of it with primary squamous cell carcinoma was made .
the loco - regional recurrence of neoplasm following treatment arises from microscopic cells of original neoplasm that have escaped therapeutic intervention and later become clinically visible at original site .
whereas , second primary neoplasm which is known to occur commonly in scc of head and neck is an abnormal growth of tissue that follows a previous or index neoplasm but not the metastatic one , should have at least 2 cm of normal mucosa between primary and second primary neoplasm .
also the second primary neoplasm should occur within 6 months ( synchronous type with same histological pattern ) or appear after 6months but within 5 years ( metachronous type with different histological pattern ) after appearance of primary neoplasm or index tumor .
, the development of second primary neoplasm may or may not be related to treatment for the previous neoplasm since genetic risk or predisposing factor may actually be the cause .
this lesion seems to be the secondary ( recurrent ) neoplasm since the lesion appeared well after 5 years of duration .
probably the microscopic cells of original neoplasm might have escaped radical surgical resection , since the lesion has perforated the cortical plates as was evident during grossing of the specimen .
but then it is also said that varying degrees of uncertainty can persist with a minority of cases remaining unresolved .
although no evidences of second primary neoplasm of ccoc are available in the literature , it is essential to distinguish between two from treatment and prognostic point of view .
it is also essential to distinguish second primary neoplasm and recurrent neoplasm , the reason being , although the lymph node metastasis on initial presentation is infrequent , nodal involvement markedly increases in those with recurrent diseases ( 33% ) as was seen in the present case where recurrent lesion was associated with lymph node involvement but unfortunately this could not be evaluated further .
another interesting feature of this lesion was simultaneous presence of primary scc and recurrent ccoc .
simultaneous existence of two entirely different , distinct neoplasms as a single lesion at a single site is called as a hybrid tumor , whereas two neoplasms that arise at independent topographic site and invade each other are called as collision tumor .
it is a matter of debate whether this neoplasm should be considered as a hybrid tumor or collision tumor .
but since the incisional biopsy was done from a single site comprising two different , distinct neoplasms , superficially present primary scc and deeply present recurrent ccoc as a single lesion , goes in favor of hybrid tumor . as diagnostic and therapeutic approach continue to improve the ability to accurately predict recurrence and second primary neoplasm in early stage of malignancy , this would facilitate intensive surveillance or targeted intervention for high risk patterns and therapy and will reduce the mortality and morbidity .
various recent diagnostic aids for the prediction of recurrence are genetically analyzed using p53 and k - ras genotyping .
the patients who have p53 alterations in their primary tumor and/or in resected margins are deemed to have a high risk for recurrence and thus need more aggressive adjuvant therapy .
unfortunately such recent predictive aids for recurrence were not carried out for the primary lesion which has led to recurrence and ultimately the patient succumbed to death within 1 year of recurrence .
thus the simultaneous occurrence of primary scc and secondary or recurrent ccoc in soft tissue with different histopathological pattern than its primary lesion seems to be quite unusual and possibly first of its kind in the literature appeared so for .
an unusual case of ccoc in anterior part of mandible in 64-year - old male patient is presented with no obvious soft tissue involvement.the lesion recurred in soft tissue after 5 years inspite of wide surgical resection of mandible indicating its potential aggressiveness and high recurrence rate .
this recurrent soft tissue lesion revealed a different microscopic pattern than its primary lesion along with unusual association of squamous cell carcinoma , possibly suggestive of hybrid tumor .
it is learnt from this case that it is always safe to advise diagnostic aids for the prediction of recurrence , so that radiotherapy can be given after surgery to avoid recurrence . | pubmed |
The Local Government Inspectorate, as the integrity agency for local government in Victoria, has completed an investigation regarding former Murrindindi Shire councillor Chris Healy.
In April 2017, Mr Healy was served with five charges related to alleged occurrences of misuse of position.
The Inspectorate alleges that as a former councillor, on five separate occasions, Mr Healy attempted to gain an advantage by making improper use of information acquired while a councillor in written or oral submissions regarding Murrindindi Shire's proposed rating strategy.
The Inspectorate began its investigation in March 2015. This investigation took a considerable time to complete due to the complex analysis of documents and the prioritisation of investigations into election offences in 2016.
The Inspectorate has filed the charges in relation to alleged misuse of position under section 76D(1) of the Local Government Act 1989.
Misuse of position carries a serious penalty under the Act of 600 penalty units ($96,714) or up to five years imprisonment or both.
Update, 17 July 2018: Mr Healy will face Shepparton Magistrates Court on 18-19 July for a contest hearing into the aforementioned charges. | slim_pajama |
Understanding the complex world of commerce is vital for aspiring commercial lawyers. Keep Calm Talk Law's fortnightly round-up has a special focus on the British currency this week, as it continues to provide a succinct and manageable guide to the commercial stories you should know about.
Understanding the complex world of commerce is vital for aspiring commercial lawyers. But with financial news often inaccessible in terms of volume and complexity, enter Keep Calm Talk Law's new fortnightly round-up: a succinct and manageable guide to the commercial stories you should know about.
Getting to grips with the stock market is a vital tool for bolstering your commercial awareness. It will stand you in good stead if you enter the world of commercial law. But it can seem like a confusing and alien place: what should you be looking for and where exactly should you begin?
Globalisation has had a huge impact upon the way businesses function. One notable impact has been the increased use of confirming transactions by way of contracts that are signed electronically. E-signatures are recognised internationally, yet, as Maxi Kussatz discusses, not homogeneously.
Louboutin's red soles and Cadbury's purple wrappers: two iconic colours which make the respective companies' products immediately recognisable. Is it possible that a company can trademark such colours? Maxi Kussatz explores UK, EU and US case law to discuss the challenges of trademarking a colour.
Last week was the second round of talks between the European Union and the United States to try to create a Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP), in an attempt to reduce trade barriers between the two major markets. However is the removal of trade barriers realistic? | slim_pajama |
What would the Newtonian-esque approximation for gravity be in other numbers of dimensions, according to relativity?
In 3 dimensions, gravity can usually be approximated using Newton's equation for gravity, $g=G\frac{m}{r^2}$. There have been [answers](https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/48447/gravity-force-strength-in-1d-2d-3d-and-higher-spatial-dimensions) here saying the acceleration of gravity in $n$ dimensions would be, but they are based on Newton's gravity equation. What does general relativity say about it, and what would the Newtonian approximation look like?
Unsurprisingly, GR recovers Newton. With $1$ time dimension and $n$ space dimensions, the Schwarzschild metric is $ds^2=-fdt^2+dr^2/f+r^2d\Omega\_{n-1}^2$ with $f(\infty)=1,\,f^\prime\propto m/r^{n-1}$. The geodesic deviation equation $\ddot{x}^a=-\Gamma^a\_{bc}\dot{x}^b\dot{x}^c$ includes the nonrelativistic special case$$\ddot{x}^r\approx -\Gamma^r\_{tt}=\frac12g^{rr}g\_{tt,\,r}=-\frac12ff^\prime\approx-\frac12f^\prime\propto-\frac{m}{r^{n-1}}.$$
Here is a (perhaps oversimplified) way of looking at this.
For any description of gravity which can be well-approximated with a 1/r^2 dependency, the presence of extra spatial dimensions can be inferred by "leakage" of gravity into the extra dimensions which manifests as a deviation from strict 1/r^2 dependence in the (3+1) dimensions we inhabit. So one test of the presence of extra spatial dimensions is to look for deviations from 1/r^2 behavior caused by leakage into the extra dimensions, and to date none have been detected.
| stackexchange/physics |
Horn is a surname. Notable people with the surname include:
Alan F. Horn born 1943, American entertainment industry executive
Alfred Aloysius Trader Horn 18611931, trader in Africa during the Scramble for Africa
Alfred Horn 19182001, American mathematician
Andrew Horn died 1328 fishmonger, of Bridge Street, London, Chamberlain of the City 1320-8, author of Liber Horn
Andrew Horn filmmaker born 1952, American film producer, director and writer
Anton Ludwig Ernst Horn 1774-1848, German physician
Count Arvid Horn 16641742, Swedish statesman
Blair Horn, Canadian rower
Bob Horn broadcaster 19161966, American radio and television personality
Brita Horn 1745-1791, Swedish courtier and letter writer
Bruce Horn born 1960, American programmer
Carl von Horn 18471923, Bavarian general and War Minister
Carl von Horn 19031989, Swedish general
Charles Edward Horn 1786-1849, English composer
Cody Horn born 1988, American actress and model
Corran Horn, fictional character in Star Wars Legends
Dave van Horn born 1960, American baseball coach
David Horn 19011969, British historian
Dimitris Horn 19211998, Greek actor
Don Horn born 1945, American football quarterback
Evert Horn 1585-1615, Swedish soldier
Frederick W. Horn, American lawyer and politician
Frederik Winkel-Horn 17561837, Danish writer
Frederik Winkel Horn 18451898, Danish writer and translator
Gabriel Horn 19272012, British biologist
George Henry Horn 18401897, U.S. entomologist
Greg Horn, American comic book artist
Guildo Horn born 1963, German singer
Gustav Horn, Count of Pori 15921657, Swedish/Finnish soldier and politician
Gyula Horn 19322013, Prime Minister of Hungary 199498
Hassa Horn Jr. 18731968, Norwegian engineer and industrialist
Jeff Horn, Australian boxer
Jeremy Horn born 1975, American mixed martial artist
Jim Horn born 1940, American musician
Joan Kelly Horn born 1936, Missourian politician
Joe Horn born 1972, American football player
Joe Horn Jr. born 1994, American football player & son of Joe Horn
Joseph M. Horn, American psychologist
Julian Horn-Smith, British businessman
Kaniehtiio Horn born 1986, Canadian actress
Karl Friedrich Horn 1762-1830, English composer
Keith Van Horn born 1975, American basketball player
Laurence R. Horn born 1945, American linguist
Lawrence Horn died 2017, American record producer
Marie-Louise Horn 19121991, German tennis player
Michael J Horn born 1979, American musician and musical director
Michelle Horn born 1987, American actress
Michiel Horn born 1939, Canadian historian
Mike Horn born 1966, Swiss explorer and adventurer
Milton Horn 19061995, Russian-American sculptor
Noel Van Horn born 1968, American born Canadian comic book artist
Paul Horn musician 19302014, merican jazz flautist and saxophonist
Paul Horn computer scientist born 1946, American computer scientist and solid state physicist
Philippe Emanuel de Hornes
Rebecca Horn born 1944, German installation artist
Roni Horn born 1955, American visual artist and writer
Roy Horn born 1944, German-American entertainer
Rudolf Horn born 1954, Austrian biathlete and cross-country skier
Sally P. Horn born 1958, American geographer
Sam Horn born 1963, American baseball player
Shifra Horn born 1951, Israeli author
Shirley Horn 19342005, American jazz singer and musician
Siegbert Horn 19502016, East German slalom canoeist
Siegfried Horn 19081993, American archaeologist and Bible scholar
Steve Horn 19312011, university president and U.S. Congressman
Taylor Horn born 1992, American singer
Ted Horn 19191948, American race car driver
Timo Horn born 1993, German professional footballer
Tom Horn 18601903, American scout
Tor Egil Horn born 1976, Norwegian footballer
Trevor Horn born 1949, British musician
Wade Horn born 1976, American psychologist
Walter Horn 19081995, German-born US academic
Walther Hermann Richard Horn 18711939, German entomologist
Welby Van Horn 19202014, American tennis player
Werner D. Horn, American politician
William Horn 18411922, Australian mining magnate, pastoralist, politician, author, sculptor and philanthropist
William Van Horn born 1939, American comic book artist
Families
Horn family, Swedish nobility
House of Hornes
See also
Hoorn disambiguation
Horn disambiguation
Horne surname
Category:German-language surnames | wikipedia |
Naruto 1. Chapter 1: Birth of a Nara
**Chapter 1: Birth of a Nara**
* * *
"Stop being such a lazy ass and come meet your son crybaby" Her voice brought him back to the real world, though it wasn't as loud and threatening as it usually was, no, it was more calm and soft. But then again, she did just give birth to his son and used up all her yelling to curse him out and tell him that he is no longer allowed to touch her.
After muttering _'troublesome'_, he walked over to his wife who was looking down at their son, poking at his chubby cheek. His lips puckering as if he were pouting and trying to tell his mom to stop. He had never seen Temari so...calm and happy at the same time. It brought a small smile to his own face as he sat beside her on the bed and glanced at his son as well.
"He looks just like you" her eyes never leaving her son, she saw all of her husband's features in her son. From his smooth jet black hair to his facial structure.
"Yeah." Was all Shikamaru could say, just like Temari, he was too into his son. He couldn't believe that the little one was already here. It seemed like it was just yesterday that Temari had showed him the pregnancy test and he pretty much fainted.
"What should we call him?" She asked, running her hand through her child's hair, causing him to squirm around. "Momma's sorry" Temari whispered and placed a soft kiss onto his forehead.
"Shikadai. Shikadai Nara".
Temari glanced up at Shikamaru, she opened her mouth to speak but closed it and just smiled happily. "That's perfect. Do you like that Shikadai?" His eyes had been closed this entire time, but once he heard the name, they opened up lazily and stared up at the two who were his parents.
Temari's eyes widen, as this was the first time that her or Shikamaru had saw his eyes. They were shaped just like hers and were the brightest teal green that they ever saw.
"Hm. I guess you don't completely look like your daddy. Thank god" Shikamaru glared at her which caused her to chuckle. "I'm just joking. Stop being such a puss"
"I just hope you don't act like your mom, one of her is enough" this time it was Temari's turn to glare. But before she could say anything, Shikadai yawned in the little voice of his. He was already showing the characteristics of his lazy father.
"Guess the little fawn is tired huh" Shikamaru said, fawn was what they called the baby before they knew his gender, and it just sorta stuck that it might just end up being his nickname. Well their nickname for him.
"Probably, I gotta feed him first though. Then he can sleep..but knowing that he is YOUR child, he might fall asleep while eating." She rolled her eyes, "Here. Hold him while I get set up" Carefully, she hands Shikadai to his father who handled him with care for it being the first time holding him. While she was readying herself, he was fantasized about the little human in his hands. This was his creation, his seed, his blood. Reaching his arms up and flailing them around, Shikadai cooed at Shikamaru who couldn't do anything but smile at him.
"I guess I've got two things to protect. You and your mom. But when you get older, you're gonna have to help alright fawn?" His only response was another coo and a grab to the finger. "I'll take that as a yes" He chuckled.
Seeing Shikamaru interact with their son was heartwarming to the Suna Princess. Shikadai was now the light of their life. Shikamaru had took a few more minutes to interact with his son before returning him to his mother. He felt empty as soon as the boy left his arms, it was insane how a few moments of having the child in his arms felt like a lifetime. He was already attached to Shikadai and he was only a few hours old.
He watched as Shikadai immediately latched onto his mother's nipple and suckled hungrily. It didn't surprise him or her how hungry he was. While he ate until his heart desired, Temari lifted her eyes to look at Shikamaru.
"How's it feel to be a father now?",
"Honestly? Damn good. I was concerned at first of how I might not be able to do this father crap but he's here and he's damn perfect" Temari grinned at her husband. She was glad that he so far enjoyed the position.
"Let's see if you say that as he gets older. Little fawn won't be so little forever".
"Yeah I know. It'll be a drag but I'll deal with it." Shikamaru was ready to deal with whatever he had to in the future, if it was for his son; he would do it. Even kill for him if that was necessary.
2. Chapter 2: Early Morning Routine
**Chapter Two: Early Morning Routine**
Waking up early in the morning wasn't Shikamaru's cup of tea. He was used to waking up at 7 or 8 am, but 4am? That was definitely not what he signed up for. When Shikadai would be in his crib, which he convinced Temari to keep in his own room after several tries, he would be quiet for awhile. But it seemed that as soon as it was 4:00, its like he knew that it was time for him to start crying. And it wasn't very hard not to hear him since the apartment that they had wasn't very big. It was enough to have space for all of them but it wasn't huge.
"Ughh. Temari wake up..." He groaned in his pillow, he didn't have the energy to get up himself.
"Really Shika? He's your damn son too" She said angrily as she put her head up. Her dirty blonde hair was laying on her neck, she didn't wear her ponytails to sleep because it wasn't exactly comfortable. Plus Shikamaru apparently loves when her hair is down because he could grip it whenever he needed to.
"Comonn. I've been getting up with him the last couple days".
"Yet you wake me up anyways...now get your lazy ass up and go tend to our child" Even in the darkness, he could see his wife glaring at him and it scared the hell outta him.
"Fine. Troublesome..." He mutters as he slowly got up, swinging his legs from under the covers and towards the ground. "You owe me woman" was his last words before he stood up with a yawn and walked out of their room into his son's room.
* * *
Shikadai was laying in the crib, his face red from wailing and his body squirming around.
"Hush fawn. I'm here now" Hearing his daddy's voice, Shikadai's loud cries started to change to whines. Shikamaru carefully reached down into his animal printed crib that Nana Yoshino bought for her first grandchild and placed him into his arms. Putting Shikadai into his bare chest since he refused to wear shirts to sleep. And ever since his son was born, his training was more intense and it caused him to tone more, much to Temari's liking.
Shikadai was dressed in a white onesie with little ninja stars all over. His thick hair was placed in a high ponytail, it surprised Shikamaru how much hair he had but he also had a lot which was the start of the ponytail.
"Bet you're hungry eh? That's usually your mom's job but luckily she pre made bottles just in case" He sighs before he walked towards their kitchen with Shikadai protectively against him. Sitting him in the bouncer that Temari kept in the kitchen, he went to start on his bottle. They had received a bottle warmer from Ino as a baby shower gift. It came in handy too.
After the bottle was heated up and Shikamaru was sure that it wasn't too hot (He squeezed some out of the nipple onto the back of his hand to make sure), he grabbed the little one who seemed focused with the kitchen light that he didn't he realize that he had been picked up and took him into the living room.
Shikadai was more than happy to have the warm milk in his mouth. He was definitely a greedy one, his chubby shape showed it but he was still slim in a way. Shikamaru was the same way as a baby.
"I guess you won't be falling asleep just yet though eh?" Shikadai was glancing up at him with an expression that said 'Nope' as he cooed through the bottle.
With a sigh, he spoke, "Don't tell your mom about this. It's our little secret" His son was now looking at him with interest.
And with that, he begun to sing softly and quietly,
"Sainai hyouzou ikenai sozo
hasanai jibun naitenda
ireranai kotomo, urusaikoemo
urenamagokoru itanda
chu inawasete one,one,three,four
apato mabu abu oyasuminsa
bedo nonakade mimire sureseba
kikoete kuruyo
mune odoru youna mesezi
Yoko na kakeru mienai
to kokoro to kokoro wo tsunaide
ashitakara hajimaru atarashii hibini
todoke daina Voice for you"
By the end of his singing, he stared down at Shikadai who had ceased his sucking as the bottle was now gone and his little mouth was slightly open but his eyes were closed. His singing actually put him to sleep? It had been the first time he had ever sang to him, to anybody. Slowly lifting his little body, Shikamaru softly patted his back until he hear a burp and felt drool slide onto his neck. Usually people would be disgusted but this was his child.
"Papa doesn't feel like going back into the room...I guess we're sleeping out here fawn" gently setting him down on the large couch, he went to the closet and grabbed a large blanket and pillow before heading back. He placed the pillow at the edge of one side of the couch before picking his son up once again and laying him on his chest again.
"Love ya Shikadai" With a kiss to his little forehead, Shikamaru found himself joining his son in slumber. And Temari was in for quite a view in the morning.
* * *
_**Second oneshot, I thought this one was a little cute since Shikamaru was singing to little Shikadai.**_
*Translation to part of the song Voice for you by Shikamaru and Temari's Japanese voice actors:
The unreadable face, the terrible imagination
Unable to forgive yourself
The unspeakable words, the loud voice
Where did my sincerity go?
Signing (a document) at the same time 1,1,3,4
Resting in the appartment
Lying in the middle of the bed
Trying to hear
A heart racing message will come
An unseen thread hangs in the night
Connecting heart to heart
From tomorrow, a new day is beginning
I want to send a voice for you
3. Chapter 3: Meeting Uncle Gaara & Kankuro
**Chapter Three: Meeting Uncle Gaara & Kankuro**
Three months after Shikadai was born, he was growing to look even more like his dad if it were possible. His hair had grown longer and much thicker which caused his mom to have trouble getting it into his signature ponytail. Currently, he was on his stomach, under him was his fuzzy green blanket that he had come to like and would probably be one of his favorites as he grew older. Resting in his mouth was his also green pacifier. He was laying with his head up, staring at Temari who was setting up the table in the living room for her brothers' visit. This would be their first time meeting their nephew, it took sometime for them to get out to Konoha due to the fact that they both always had business to attend to.
There soon was a knock on the door, they ended up being just on time. "Be a dear and get that for me?" Temari asked Shikamaru as she went over to grab Shikadai. He groaned from his spot on the couch but got up anyways and went to open the door.
"Yo" Is what Kankuro said, moving Shikamaru out of the way so that he could get in. He was excited to see his sister after so long. Shikamaru scoffs and shook his head.
"Ignore him. It is nice to see you again Nara" Gaara told the boy, reaching his hand out for him to shake. Raising his eyebrow at the gesture, Shikamaru shrugged and took Gaara's hand with a firm grip, shaking it.
"Uh, same to you Gaara" withdrawing his hand, it went to the back of his neck as he rubbed it awkwardly. Gaara walked in and closed the door.
"Big sis! It's been way too long!" His arms went around Temari's neck as he embraced her.
"Be careful baka. Don't scare fawn" Kankuro and Gaara had a look of confusion on their faces,
"Fawn? Who the hell is that- OW!" He screamed, rubbing the top of his uncovered head.
"Watch your mouth. And its about time I introduce you to your nephew" Shikadai was holding onto his mom's shirt as he looked at the two strangers with concern. Who were these people and why where they touching his mom. His look of concern turned into a glare similar to Temari's signature one.
"Gaara, Kankuro. Meet your nephew, Shikadai Nara, our little fawn" The two brothers stared at the little boy who was still holding his glare.
"Can I hold him?!" Kankuro blurted out, excitedly.
"If you calm down. I don't need you hyping up my son" Shikamaru who was now leaning against the door says to the eager Kankuro.
"Shut up Nara. He's my nephew" Carefully, Temari tried handing the young child to his uncle, but his grip on Temari's top grew tighter and tighter the more Kankuro tried to take him away. Watching the whole thing from where he was, Shikamaru started to chuckle under his breath.
"Shikadai..be a good boy and let mama go" Temari spoke to her son, but his grip didn't let go, she took the pacifier out of his mouth and held it away from him with her free hand. "If you don't let go, you can't have this back" He looked over at his mom after she took it from him and started babbling as if he were fussing at her.
"Only three months old and already arguing with me. Looks like I'm in for a lot with you" She muttered before looking over at Gaara who was watching the scene from the couch. Figuring that Shikadai didn't want to go to Kankuro, maybe she could try handing him to Gaara. But he might do the same thing, though it was worth a try. She went over by the couch and stood in front of her baby brother. "Here".
"?" With the same expression, Gaara was confused at Temari's gesture.
"Take him."
"What makes you think that he'll go to Gaara if he didn't go to me?" Kankuro said with his head turned to the opposite direction, obviously affected by being rejected from his only nephew. And not too soon after there was cooing and happy babbles. Kankuro quickly turned around and was shocked by the sight. Shikadai was sitting on Gaara's lap, staring up at his uncle with big, bright eyes. And Gaara, who was usually wearing a blank expression, was staring in awe at the baby.
"I am a uncle...wow" It had finally hit him, he cradled the young baby and wouldn't leave his gaze as he babbled. "I will not let anyone harm you. Ever." His finger brushed over Shikadai's chubby cheek causing Shikadai to squeal in delight and coo softly.
"That's what you call 'Love at first sight' " Temari watched the two have a heartwarming moment, Shikamaru was having a blast teasing Kankuro.
"I guess we know who the favorite is"
* * *
**_poor uncle Kankuro_**
**_Here is yet another one shot. I think this one is probably my favorite since I want to see Gaara's interactions with his first nephew. Remember, if you guys have any ideas, I can definitely put them on here. _**
**_Thanks for reading and I hope you guys are enjoying them so far. Shikadai is like my little child so I'm enjoying writing these._**
4. Chapter 4: No Sleep For Papa
**Chapter Four: No Sleep For Papa**
Currently, Temari was glaring at her husband with their child in her grip. She was wearing a pair of Shikamaru's boxers with a black tank top. She was still in the mind set of being in Suna to where she would have to wear clothes like this due to the weather. So it was obvious that it was nighttime and time that they all would be heading to sleep. Although Shikamaru had already been asleep until he saw his wife sneaking into the room with their five month old son.
"I said no Temari, he needs to stay in his crib" this wasn't the first time that she was trying to bring Shikadai into their room.
"But he was whining" that was a lie, he was actually sleeping until mama woke him by taking him out of the crib.
"Comon Temari! He has his own room. And I know you woke him up. He was fully asleep when I was in there"
Shikadai was watching the disagreement with his binky in his mouth. His face was slightly scrunched up as he just wanted to go back to bed but these two weren't letting him. He was dressed in a green sleeper with small white Nara symbols all over it.
"I need my baby next to me. Just one night? Please?" She begged, actually poking her bottom lip out to make a puppy dog face. Something that no one but Shikamaru will ever see.
With a groan, Shikamaru grumbled and scoots over.
"This is the last time. He has to get used to his crib, we bought it for a reason."
Glad that she had won this debate, Temari silently cheered and headed over to the bed.
* * *
Not even twenty minutes later, the small family finally were asleep. Shikadai was in the middle of both Temari and Shikamaru. His head was turned towards his mother's face and his little belly was rising and lowering with his even breathing. They all were sleeping peacefully, that is until Shikadai decided to swing one of his arms and hit Shikamaru right in his nose.
'DAMNIT! What the fu-' he quickly opened both his eyes and saw what just hit him. Seeing that it was Shikadai, he groaned.
"Wild sleeper like someone I know" His eyes drifted over to Temari who was still in a deep sleep.
"Why can't you do this to her? She's your mama" he said to the sleeping baby, his chubby arm remained on Shikamaru's face. Shikamaru chuckled quietly before removing the child's arm from his face. It caused Shikadai to turn onto his side, he was now facing towards Shikamaru. His little ponytail was messy now and his binky was halfway out of his mouth. Shikamaru just shook his head with a smile, pulling the boy close to his chest and resting his chin far above his head. "You're lucky I love you kid. Or else you'd be back in your own room".
* * *
_**I think this one is way shorter than the other three. But looking at Lilicia One-Chan's picture of the three gave me a quick one shot idea. Hope you guys like it, read and review! **_
5. Chapter 5: Bonding Time
**_Chapter Five: Bonding Moment_**
The blond idiot decided to keep Shikamaru with him in his office all night. He was trying his best not to fall asleep but all was failing as his chin was resting on the palm of his hand and his eyes slowly shut. It wasn't exactly his cup of tea to be up during the nightime when he could actually be at home with his wife and son. Sleeping with them.
"Ay, don't fall asleep on me man. If I gotta suffer doing this crap, you're my adviser so you have to too" Naruto told him, after looking up from his paper work and noticing that Shikamaru was drifting off.
"This is such a drag. I don't see why you had to pick me to help you with this paperwork. I mean, I like to sleep, not write papers" He says, running his hand up and down on his goatee. He still wasn't exactly used to it but running his hand over it had become a habit. Even though Shikamaru was indeed lazy and if he had the chance he would sleep his life away, Naruto knew that he was reliable, that he wouldn't let his laziness overcome his business.
"You'll be able to sleep soon. Just help me finish this shit and we'll both be on our way." With a sigh, Shikamaru just sat up straight and leaned over so that he could look over what Naruto was writing down. He hoped that they would be done before morning hit.
* * *
He expected to be home by at least two am at the latest. Instead, he got home at 8am.
When opening the door, he was indeed satisfied that he had finally made it home. No more paperwork for the rest of the day or anything. He just wanted to sleep and stay asleep all day. Shikamaru took his shoes off and placed them on the little mat in front of their front door. He expected the house to be quiet but there was a sound coming from the living room. Shikadai must have woke up, this was usually his time to be awake anyways.
Sneaking into the room, he hid behind the small opening that led to the room amd peeked inside. There Shikadai was, in front of the large television. His eyes glued to the screen. In front of him was a bowl of what seemed like different variety of fruits chopped into safe pieces for the boy. He had his onesie off and just sat in his diaper. It was a good idea since he tended to get very messy while eating causing the couple to buy him several clothes for him. On the television was a child safe cartoon, well that's what Shikamaru thought of it as. Shikadai's favorite cartoon was Spongebob so that's what he currently was watching.
"Bababa" he babbled as he clapped his hands to the theme song causing Shikamaru to chuckle. Where was his wife anyways, she would get a kick out of their son.
"Look whose finally home" The voice caused Shikamaru to jump slightly as he wasn't expecting his wife to be right behind him so unexpectedly. Her hair was resting on her shoulders as she hadn't had time to pin it up as usual.
"Damnit troublesome woman. Sneaking up on me like that" he said, crossing his arms as he was clearly upset.
"Hush you big baby. I swear I don't know who acts more like the baby of the house. You or your son".
"Ha ha Temari" He says, sarcastically causing his wife to roll her teal eyes and start walking to where her baby was. Shikamaru quietly followed after her.
Shikadai had been too into the cartoon that he hadn't even noticed that his parents were in the same room.
"I can't believe he's already so big and smart" Shikadai was only about 6 months right now. He was crawling and getting into things that he shouldn't be. But he had smart ways to get into the things he wanted, he definitely took after his father in that area.
"Soon he'll be walking and causing hell everywhere" Temari glared at him,
"Not my baby. He's too precious for that" That caused Shikamaru to scoff quietly and shrug his shoulders.
After forever, Shikadai finally turned his head and his eyes met with Shikamaru's. Happiness filled in his eyes before started bouncing happily, "Dadadaaa", Shikamaru grinned at his replica. He couldn't be anymore happier to see that look on his son's face when seeing himself.
"I'm home fawn." He opened his arms after he bent down so that the boy could come over to him.
Shikadai grinned a toothy grin before getting on his knees and quickly crawling over to the man. And when he was right in front of his father, he sat down on his diapered butt and reached his hands up and opened and closed them. His way of asking to be picked up. And that's exactly what Shika did.
"Did you miss me that much fawn? Daddy hasn't been gone for too long. Your dumb uncle Naruto kept me all night." As if understanding, Shikadai giggled and started babbling again.
"Yet his 'dumb' uncle Naruto is your best friend" Temari stated, before bopping her finger on her son's nose causing him to look at his nose with both eyes and giggle.
Shikamaru didn't deny that Naruto actually was one of his best friends whom he came to care about as he started working with him. The family stood in silence, well Shikadai was messing with Shikamaru's goatee and giggling along with babbling.
After awhile, Shikamaru yawned loudly causing Temari to realize that he might have been tired as hell. She reached for Shikadai who didn't want to leave his daddy at first but gave up after a few tries.
"Don't worry fawny, once your dad wakes up, he'll be joining you for bath time". He usually only bathed with Shikamaru because Shikadai didn't exactly enjoy baths. Well by himself that is.
* * *
**I apologize if this isn't a very interesting chapter. I just felt like I needed to show a little more bonding in this. But next chapter will be bath time with Shikamaru and Shikadai which I will make extra cute (or at least try to)**
**Read, Review, Follow, or favorite!**
6. Chapter 6: Bath time with Daddy
**Hi everyone! I apologize for the long absence, but I finally decided to update you guys with this story and I hope that you enjoy it. I've been busy, I have a new job that I already love and I finally have time to write for you guys! **
**Enjoy!**
* * *
Chapter Six: Bath time with Daddy
"Do I really need to take a bath with him? Right now?" Shikamaru said as he was laying on their couch with his eyes closed. He was soon awaken by sudden weight on his stomach. Peeking through one eye, he saw Shikadai grinning happily at him.
"You do. It's your turn lazy. And plus, you smell as well" His eyes left from his son so that he could could glare at his wife who was standing with a hand on her hip. She had a smug look on her face, she was usually the one who showered with Shikadai but this time she wanted him to be with his dad.
"Fine. You see how your mommy bullies me little fawn?" He asks, poking his chubby son in the belly, causing the little boy to giggle and squirm around on his stomach. His bright green eyes stared over at Temari before he grinned and looked back at Shikamaru.
"See. He knows what's up" Temari told him, "Make sure you get him clean, he's sticky from the candy you gave him which I specifically asked you not-" Before she could start nagging him, he picked up his son and skipped off to the bathroom and waved his hand back towards Temari. She was furious with him, but she'd get him back. She knew exactly how to get him.
* * *
Escaping from his wife before she started to nag made him blow a breath in relief, he knew that she wasn't going to exactly be very happy about that but oh well, he'll deal.
Shikadai was staring at his hand as if it were the most interesting thing in the planet, he was opening and closing it, making it into a small little fist. Reaching the bathroom, Shikamaru sat Shikadai on his diapered butt in the center of the bathroom so that he could begin to run the water. He slowly turned the knobs, and each time he would put his hand underneath the water to make sure that it was just right for his child. The temperature was just right, not too hot, nor was it too cold.
"Ready to get in fawn?" Hearing his father's voice, Shikadai glanced up at him and tilted his head in a cutesy way as if trying to figure out what he was talking about. Shika grinned at him, as he bent down and gently grabbed the boy and kept him in his grip. He grabbed at the little straps on Shikadai's pamper on both sides and pulled it off making his son squirm just a bit. And while holding him, he removed his own clothes, setting them aside and then climbing into the tub.
Shikadai immediately began to use his tiny hands to splash around in the water, each time it hit his face, he would giggle.
"You're silly. I'm glad you enjoy baths and don't try to fight me" When he took his first bath, he screamed and grew red as he wouldn't stop crying because of it. It didn't surprise Shikamaru due to the fact that he wasn't a big fan of baths when he was younger. But seeing him now in the tub, he would giggle, splash and kick his tiny feet, it was like that never happened in his life. Even though Shikadai was still a baby, Shikamaru couldn't believe that this was his child. Like he fathered him, the boy looks exactly like him except for his mother's eyes. Never in his life did he think he was going to be a dad.
Shikadai cooed and babbled while Shikamaru was lost in his thoughts. His father would have loved and spoiled the hell out of Shikadai. Yoshino already did most of it but he was sure if Shikaku was alive, his son would be spoiled as hell.
"If only your grandpa was alive. He always talked about how much he wanted a grandchild but apparently had no faith in me giving him one" He chuckled, Shikaku would always tease him and say that. Hearing that his dad was speaking to him, Shikadai turned his head and looked at Shikamaru in awe. "But I guess I proved him wrong, eh little one?" His own eyes looked into the deep green eyes of Shikadai.
"Bah?" He said as if he was questioning him.
"I don't think I've ever sat and had a conversation about your grandpa with you. I guess now is a good time aha" Looking up at the ceiling, he took a deep breath and returns his gaze to the little one who still was staring at him in awe.
"Let's see. Grandpa was a lot like daddy. But daddy is more lazy as everyone is telling me." With his arms wrapped around his son's chubby stomach, he used his hands to grab his son's hands and moved them around. "Him and grandma were in a similar situation like me and mama. She's troublesome and mama's troublesome but for some reason, we love them both" He loved that troublesome woman, he wouldn't trade her for anything.
"He fought hard to protect our village. And he didn't have any regrets. I can just see his face now before he...before he.." Pausing for a moment, he shook his head as he was picturing his dad's face.
* * *
Placing plates on the table, Temari made sure that everything was set up and ready for dinner when he gets out the bathroom. She placed her hand onto her hip and decided to take a peek on what the two loves of her lives were doing. She snuck over to the door of their bathroom, she slowly peeked in and saw that Shikadai was turned around and his little hand was reaching up to his dad's face. She swore she seen tears slowly falling from Shikamaru's eyes. Deciding to listen in, she kept quiet.
"He died a hero...I'm sorry you have to see daddy like this fawn.. I'm the troublesome right now ha" Shikadai was giving him a concerned facial expression like he didn't like his daddy crying. It wasn't a sight to him, it was rare as Shikamaru tries to pretend to be strong. His small hand rested on Shikamaru's cheek and he rubbed it back and forth, babbling calmly. Temari couldn't believe her eyes, her baby was comforting her husband. Something she has never seen him do before. She continued to listen in, and eventually entered but neither had noticed until she cleared her throat.
"Oh Temari" Quickly, he wiped his face off to try and prevent Temari from seeing his tears.
"I heard you talking to him. Were you speaking about Shikaku?" She walked up towards the two, her baby reaching up for his mama who grabbed the towel from the rack before grabbing Shikadai. Shikamaru just nodded, "yeah. We were having a nice conversation. I haven't really spoke to him about his grandpa" Deciding to get out himself, he got out and wrapped the towel around his waist.
* * *
After his bath, Shikadai was laying on his back with one hand holding the bottle as he suckled on it on his parent's bed, slowly shutting his eyes. Both Shikamaru and Temari were staring at him with love in their eyes.
"Thanks Shikamaru. He really needed a bath" Shikamaru yawned and nodded,
"Of course. I mean he is my kid too." He chuckled.
"I know that idiot. But I just felt like I needed to let you know. I appreciate it and I guess I won't get you back for earlier" Looking at her questionably, he suddenly realized what she was talking about and turned his face away. "Yeah, sorry about that.." Shikamaru chuckled nervously while Temari just rolled her eyes.
"Since he's sleep. We mind as well do the same thing" Shikamaru nodded, there was no way he was going to avoid a good nights sleep. He climbed onto the king sized bed and he laid on his stomach on the opposite side of Temari with Shikadai in the middle of the bed. Once Temari laid on her side, he stretched his arm out and wrapped it around Shikadai and Temari.
"Hey Shikamaru. I'm proud of you you know? And I'm sure your father is beyond proud" That sentence made his night, he knew his father was proud and he was going to continue to make him proud.
* * *
**Thank you for reading! Please review if you want, it's much appreciated everyone! I will be doing a Ino-Shika-Cho playdate pretty soon so look forward to that!**
End file.
| fanfiction |
beginning from 1996 when ullakko and co - worker @xcite reported on a magnetic - field - induced strain of about 0.2% in a non - stoichiometric ni - mn - ga single crystal , research in this field has attracted a considerable attention due to the great technological potential of this effect . later this phenomenon was found in other compounds exhibiting shape memory effect when in the ferromagnetic state , such as fe - pd and fe - pt .
@xcite whereas fe - pt and fe - pd show magnetic - field - induced strains not exceeding 1% , in ni - mn - ga single crystals the values of magnetic - field - induced strains can be as large as 6% ( ref . 4 ) .
the mechanism of this phenomenon is believed to be the redistribution of different twin variants under action of a magnetic field .
@xcite since these giant strains are attained in comparatively low magnetic fields ( less then 1.5 t ) , they are easy suppressed by an external stress .
for instance , the 6% field - induced strain was completely blocked by a compressive stress of order 2 mpa .
@xcite this suggests that the giant magnetostrains arising from the process of twin - boundary motion might be useful for large stroke and small force applications .
another way to attain a large magnetic - field - induced strain in the ferromagnetic shape memory alloys is a shift of the martensitic transition temperature caused by a magnetic field .
@xcite however , in this case the magnitude of the applied field must be high in order to overcome the temperature hysteresis of martensitic transformation . from general consideration , it can be expected that the maximum achievable strain in this case is equal to the striction of the transition or even more if material is trained for the two - way shape memory effect .
the work output has to be large ( as in conventional shape memory alloys ) , which can be useful for mediate stroke and large force applications . from the point of view of widespread use of magnetic - field - induced strains , observed in the ferromagnetic shape memory alloys ,
there is a need to investigate polycrystalline materials .
previous studies of a series of ni@xmath2mn@xmath3ga ( @xmath4 ) showed that , among the composition studied , ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga is characterized by a considerable striction of transition .
@xcite because of that we have studied ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga prepared by a pulse discharge sintering ( pds ) process .
ingots of the ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga composition were prepared by arc - melting of high - purity initial elements .
the ingots were annealed at 1100 k for 9 days and quenched in ice water .
a part of the arc - melted ingots was used to fabricate pds samples . for this aim
the arc - melted ingots initially were crushed into particles and ground into fine powder with a particle size less than 53 @xmath5 m .
meshed powder was filled in a graphite die with two graphite punches .
the die was set in a pulse discharge system ( sodick co. , ltd ) .
the pulse discharge system was evacuated to a vacuum of 3 pa prior to the sintering process .
maximum pressure and temperature during the pds process were equal to 80 mpa and 1173 k , respectively .
disc - shaped billets with thickness of 6 mm were sintered .
x - ray diffraction measurements of the samples , performed in a wide temperature range , showed that the high - temperature austenitic structure has a cubic modification whereas the low - temperature martensitic phase has a complex tetragonally based crystal structure .
samples with dimensions of @xmath6 mm@xmath7 were spark - cut from the billets .
temperature and magnetic field dependencies of strain were measured by a strain gage technique . for this aim a non - magnetic strain gage with a compensated temperature range from 273 to 423
k was attached along the longest dimension of the samples .
the configuration of the experimental setup allowed detecting the relative change in the length of a specimen with an accuracy of 0.005% .
the samples were inserted into a variable temperature chamber of a superconducting magnet .
temperature was monitored by a lake shore calibrated platinum resistance thermometer with an accuracy of 0.1 k. stress - strain measurements and compression of samples were done at room temperature by an instron machine .
mn@xmath1ga pds sample . ]
shown in fig .
1 are the temperature dependencies of young s modulus of a ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga pds sample during heating and cooling .
these dependencies were obtained from ultrasonic measurements performed in a temperature interval from 173 to 373 k. the value of young s modulus was evaluated through the formula @xmath8 where @xmath9 , @xmath10 and @xmath11 are the density of the material and the velocities of longitudinal and shear waves , respectively
. marked dips on the temperature dependencies of young s modulus correspond to the direct and reverse martensitic transformations .
as evident from fig . 1 , the young s modulus of ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga at room temperature is equal to 95 gpa .
the results of compression tests for ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga prepared by the pds method and by a conventional arc - melting technique are shown in fig . 2 .
the compression tests were done at room temperature with the same speed of compression for both the samples .
the comparison of these curves clearly indicates that the pds sample shows higher yield strength than the arc - melted one .
this characteristic is of importance for some practical applications , and it makes the pds materials more attractive in this sense .
mn@xmath1ga pds sample ( curve 1 ) and a ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga arc - melted sample ( curve 2 ) . ] mn@xmath1ga pds sample measured in zero and 5 t magnetic fields . ] mn@xmath1ga pds sample ( curve 2 ) .
curve 1 shows the temperature dependencies of strain in a stress - free ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga pds sample . ]
figure 3 shows the temperature dependencies of strain measured in a ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga pds sample upon cooling and heating in zero and 5 t magnetic fields . in zero magnetic field
the sample length monotonously increases upon heating up to the onset of the reverse martensitic transformation , @xmath12 k. the martensite - austenite transformation is accompanied by a rapid increase in the sample length , which flattens out at austenite finish temperature @xmath13 k. subsequent cooling down results in the direct martensitic transformation at @xmath14 k , which is accompanied by a shortening of the sample . as evident from fig . 3 ,
the striction of the transition is approximately 0.18% .
the temperature dependencies of strain measured in a magnetic field of 5 t revealed that the striction of the transition remains essentially the same as in the case of the measurements without magnetic field .
the results of the measurements performed in zero and 5 t magnetic fields leads to the conclusion that the application of the magnetic field results in an upward shift of the characteristic temperatures of the martensitic transition with a rate of about 1 k / t .
this value agrees very well with the results reported for polycrystalline ni@xmath2mn@xmath3ga prepared by arc - melting method .
@xcite an interesting feature of the pds samples is that the two - way shape memory effect can be induced in these materials by a simple loading - unloading cycle .
this feature is presented in fig .
4 . indeed , the increase in the sample length caused by the martensitic transition is approximately 0.18% in the case of the sample which was not subjected to compression .
another sample cut from the same ingot was compressed for 2% at room temperature in the martensitic state . after unloading the residual deformation was approximately 1.2% ( fig . 2 ) .
the sample recovered approximately 75% of its initial length upon the first heating , showing shape memory effect . the subsequent cooling - heating process revealed that for this sample the change in the length associated with the martensitic transformation increased twofold as compared with the uncompressed sample and reached 0.4% .
it is also seen from fig . 4 that the change in slope of the curves at the characteristic temperatures of martensitic transformation in the compressed sample becomes less pronounced than in the compression - free sample .
further themocyclings demonstrated that this compression - induced two - way shape memory effect does not degrade and the 0.4% change in the length of the sample is very well reproducible at least up to the tenth heating - cooling cycle .
it is interesting to note that a well - defined two - way shape memory effect has also been found recently in ni - mn - ga thin films .
@xcite to study this compression - induced two - way shape memory effect in more detail , several ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga pds samples were compressed for values of strain , ranging from 1 to 6% . after unloading
the residual deformation in these samples was from 0.4 to 4% , respectively .
the behavior of the samples upon the first heating process was found to be dependent on the value of residual deformation .
thus , the sample with 0.4% residual deformation showed a perfect shape memory effect whereas the sample with the largest residual deformation did not exhibit shape memory effect , which means that the residual deformation in this sample was essentially plastic one .
the two - way shape memory effect was found only in the samples compressed for 2 and 3% . together with the observation that the sample compressed for 2 and 3% did not revert the original shape completely after the first heating , these facts evidence that the two - way shape memory effect appears when the applied stress exceeds some critical limit which is enough for the occurrence of an irreversible slip .
we suggest that it arises from the strain field of dislocations induced upon compression .
mn@xmath1ga sample , exhibiting two - way shape memory effect . ]
the measurements of magnetic - field - induced strain in the temperature interval of the martensitic transformation in the pds - sintered ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga samples showed that these samples exhibit rather small values of magnetic - field - induced strain even in high ( up to 5 t ) magnetic fields .
for instance , in the compression - free ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga sample this value is equal to 0.02% in a 5 t magnetic field .
however , in the case of the samples which demonstrate the compression - induced two - way shape memory effect the magnetic - field - induced strain is six times greater as compared to the samples without two - way shape memory effect .
in fact , such a tendency could be expected , since in this case the magnetic - field - induced strain is due to the shift of the martensitic transition temperature caused by the applied magnetic field .
the magnetic - field - induced strain is proportional to the relative change in the dimension of the sample per 1 k and this characteristic is much better in the samples with the two - way shape memory effect .
it can be suggested that an appropriate training procedure of the pds material will results in enhancement of the magnitude of the two - way shape memory effect , leading to an increase in the value of magnetic - field - induced strain .
it should be noted , however , that the strain of about 0.12% is not perfectly recovered .
figure 5 shows that the reversible magnetic - field - induced strain is equal to 0.06% .
this value of magnetic - field - induced strain has been reversible for many cycles of application and removal of the magnetic field .
in conclusion , the most interesting findings of this study are that the two - way shape memory effect can be induced in the ni@xmath0mn@xmath1ga pds materials by an ordinary compression of the samples in the martensitic state .
the samples with the two - way shape memory effect show a significant enhancement in the magnitude of magnetic - field - induced strain observed in the temperature interval of martensitic transformation .
this work was partially supported by the grant - in - aid for scientific research ( c ) no .
11695038 from the japan society of the promotion of science . | arxiv |
Nepenthes micramphora is a tropical pitcher plant known only from Mount Hamiguitan on the island of Mindanao in the Philippines. It is a highland plant growing at elevations of 11001635 m.
Nepenthes micramphora is closely allied to N. abgracilis and N. cid, both also from Mindanao, and together these species comprise the informal N. micramphora group.
The specific epithet micramphora is derived from the Greek mikros small and Latin amphora amphora, urn, and references the tiny pitchers of this species.
Botanical history
Nepenthes micramphora was formally described in 2009 by Volker Heinrich, Stewart McPherson, Thomas Gronemeyer, and Victor Amoroso. The description was published in the second volume of McPherson's Pitcher Plants of the Old World. The herbarium specimen V.Amoroso & R.Aspiras CMUH 00003545 is the designated holotype, and is deposited at the Central Mindanao University Herbarium in Musuan, Bukidnon, the Philippines. It was collected on 31 January 2005, from Mount Hamiguitan, on the trail from San Isidro, at an altitude of 13001600 m.
Inflorescence measurements for the formal description were taken by Volker Heinrich at the type locality on 22 July 2008, since herbarium material of the floral structures could not be located.
Description
Nepenthes micramphora is a climbing plant growing to a height of 2.5 m. The stem is circular in cross section and up to 3.5 mm in diameter, with internodes up to 15 mm long.
Leaves
Leaves are sessile and coriaceous in texture. The lamina leaf blade is lanceolate-elliptic in shape and reaches 8 cm in length by 1 cm in width, being widest in its distal half. The lamina has an acute apex and is shortly attenuate at the base, clasping the stem for approximately one-third of its circumference. It is not decurrent down the stem. Two to three longitudinal veins are present on either side of the midrib, while pinnate veins are numerous. Tendrils are up to 7.5 cm long and 1 mm wide.
Pitchers
Rosette and lower pitchers are narrowly ovate in the basal portion and cylindrical or sometimes slightly infundibular above. They are very small, reaching only 4.1 cm in height by 1.6 cm in width. A pair of wings ≤4 mm wide typically runs down the ventral surface of the pitcher cup, although these may be reduced to ribs. The wings bear fringe elements measuring around 3 mm and spaced 2.53 mm apart. Only the basal third of the interior surface of the pitcher is glandular. The peristome is cylindrical and up to 0.8 mm wide, bearing ribs up to 0.1 mm high and spaced 0.1 mm apart. Teeth are not visible on the inner margin of the peristome. The pitcher lid or operculum may be elliptic, ovate, or orbicular, and generally has a cordate base. The lid lacks appendages and measures up to 2 cm in length by 1.8 cm in width, being slightly wider than the pitcher mouth. The nectar glands of the lower lid surface number more than 100. A branched or divided spur ≤3 mm long is inserted near the base of the lid.
Upper pitchers are produced from an early age. They may be infundibular throughout or narrowly infundibular in their basal part, becoming narrower and roughly cylindrical above. They are broadest in the middle or in the upper portion. Aerial pitchers are larger than their terrestrial counterparts, growing to 6.7 cm in height by 2 cm in width although more often around 4 cm by 1.7 cm. The pitcher lid is of the same width as the mouth. Wings are always reduced to ribs. In other respects, upper pitchers are similar to the lower traps.
Inflorescence
Nepenthes micramphora has a racemose inflorescence measuring up to 35 cm in length by 6 mm in width. The peduncle itself may be up to 8 cm long and 1 mm wide. Flowers are borne on one-flowered, non-bracteate pedicels 34 mm long, of which there are between 20 and 40 on the inflorescence. The ovate tepals measure up to 2.5 mm in length by 1.2 mm in width. Fruits are up to 20 mm long.
Indumentum
The stem, lamina, and pitchers are glabrous. An inconspicuous indumentum of simple, rusty brown hairs 0.1 mm long covers the inflorescence.
Ecology
Distribution
Nepenthes micramphora has only been recorded from the highland slopes of Mount Hamiguitan, Davao Oriental, in the extreme southeast of Mindanao island in the Philippines. Much of the surrounding region has not been explored for Nepenthes, and this species may therefore be present in other parts of southern Mindanao. Its altitudinal distribution extends from 1100 m above sea level to the summit at 1635 m.
Habitat
This species grows terrestrially in a wide range of habitats, including upper montane mossy forest, secondary vegetation, ridge tops, cliff sides, and landslides. It has also been recorded at the margins of montane forest around the so-called Bonsai Forest, which is named for its stunted trees. The species is restricted to ultramafic substrates. While N. micramphora tolerates shady conditions, it grows best under direct sunlight. On Mount Hamiguitan, N. micramphora is sympatric with N. alata sensu lato, N. justinae previously identified as N. mindanaoensis, and N. peltata, and grows in the same altitudinal range as N. hamiguitanensis. Despite this, no natural hybrids have been observed with certainty.
Conservation status
In his 2009 book, Pitcher Plants of the Old World, Stewart McPherson writes that N. micramphora is not currently threatened owing to its extensive populations on Mount Hamiguitan and the fact that visitors are only permitted to climb the mountain with the assistance of a guide. The future of wild populations of N. micramphora will be further secured if provincial officials of Davao Oriental are successful in their bid to gain recognition of Mount Hamiguitan as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
Related species
N. micramphora group
Nepenthes micramphora gives its name to the informal N. micramphora group, which also includes N. abgracilis from northeastern Mindanao and N. cid from north-central Mindanao. This group was introduced by Martin Cheek and Matthew Jebb in a 2013 paper that also included the formal descriptions of the latter two species. Before this, N. micramphora was considered an outlier or species of uncertain placement that did not fall into any of the established groups of Philippine Nepenthes the three main ones being the N. alata, N. ventricosa, and N. villosa species groups.
Nepenthes abgracilis, N. cid and N. micramphora are united by aspects of pitcher and stem morphology as well as shared habitat preferences. Cheek and Jebb identified seven diagnostic characters that they used to define the group:
submontane habitat;
stems terete;
peristome slender, cylindrical, 0.82 mm wide;
peristome ridges low, about 0.1 mm high, inconspicuous;
inner edge of peristome without visible teeth in natural position;
lower surface of lid lacking a basal ridge and appendage;
lid nectar glands >100, monomorphic, large ca. 0.5 mm diam. with a narrow border, ± evenly spread over the lid
These species show some similarities to those of the N. alata group, but differ in lacking a basal ridge or appendage on the lower surface of the lid.
Nepenthes cid differs from the other two species of the N. micramphora group in growth habit it is epiphytic as opposed to terrestrial, indumentum development vegetative parts hairy as opposed to subglabrous, and in having a distinct petiole versus sessile in the other two. Both it and N. abgracilis have entire spurs, as compared to branched in N. micramphora.
Nepenthes micramphora is most easily distinguished from N. abgracilis by its upper pitchers, which are more-or-less infundibular versus subcylindric in N. abgracilis, narrowest at the base and widest in the middle or upper half versus widest near the base, and much smaller in all respects ≤6.7 cm versus 16 cm high.
Other similar species
Nepenthes micramphora is very similar to N. bellii of northern Mindanao in terms of the morphology of its stem, lamina, and inflorescence. Indeed, prior to the description of N. micramphora in 2009, the species was misidentified as N. bellii on its native Mount Hamiguitan. Nepenthes micramphora is smaller in all respects and can be distinguished on the basis of its pitchers, which differ markedly in shape, size, peristome width, and tendril length. It also produces a greater abundance of pitchers on its rosettes up to 7 live traps have been recorded at any one time.
Nepenthes gracilis also bears a superficial resemblance to N. micramphora in the size and shape of its leaves, but this species is absent from the Philippines.
Natural hybrids
Nepenthes micramphora has no confirmed natural hybrids, although certain plants from Mount Hamiguitan may represent crosses involving it and N. hamiguitanensis, N. justinae previously identified as N. mindanaoensis, and N. peltata. Plants that were originally thought to represent a natural hybrid between N. micramphora and N. peltata are now recognised as belonging to a distinct species of possible hybridogenic origin, N. hamiguitanensis.
References
Co, L. & W. Suarez 2012. Nepenthaceae. Co's Digital Flora of the Philippines.
External links
N. micramphora, a new species from the Philippines
Category:Carnivorous plants of Asia
micramphora
Category:Endemic flora of the Philippines
Category:Flora of Mindanao
Category:Plants described in 2009 | wikipedia |
Council of Avignon may refer to one of a number of councils of the Roman Catholic Church which were held in Avignon in France. The first reported council met in the 11th century and the final council on record was in the mid-19th century.
Eleventh century
The first reported council, , was held in 1060, though nothing is known about what took place; it may be prudent to note that the Great Schism of 1054 took place six years prior.
In 1080 a council, , was held under the presidency of Hugues de Dié, papal legate, in which Aicard, usurper of the See of Arles, was deposed, and Gibelin put in his place. Three bishops-elect Lautelin of Embrun, Hugues of Grenoble, Didier of Cavaillon accompanied the legate to Rome and were consecrated there by Pope Gregory VII.
Thirteenth century
See also:
During the 13th century four councils were held, including the in which the inhabitants of Toulouse were excommunicated from the church by the council for failing to expel the Albigensian heretics from Toulouse. Included in the population that was excommunicated were two papal legates, four archbishops and twenty bishops. The next council was held in 1270, and Bertrand de Malferrat, Archbishop of Arles presided over the council. The usurpers of ecclesiastical property were severely threatened; unclaimed legacies were allotted to pious uses; the bishops were urged to mutually support one another; and individual churches were taxed for the support of the papal legates; and ecclesiastics were forbidden to convoke the civil courts against their bishops. And the council banned Christmas carols.
During the they were concerned with the clergy's protection of rights, privileges, and immunities. Provisions were also made for those who promised to join the crusade Gregory X had ordered, but had failed to actually go on the crusade. In addition the council decreed that to hear confessions monks must have permission of their ordinary, or bishop, as well as their superior. The last council during the 13th century was the , during which they published 10 canons. Among the canons published was one urging people to more regularly attend the parochial churches, and to go to their parish church for at least feast days and on Sundays.
Fourteenth century
See also:
The temporalities of the Church and ecclesiastical jurisdiction occupied the attention of the . The seventy-nine canons of the are renewed from earlier councils, and emphasize the duty of Easter Communion in one's own parish church, and of abstinence on Saturday for beneficed persons and ecclesiastics, in honour of the Blessed Virgin, a practice begun three centuries earlier on the occasion of the Truce of God, but no longer universal.
Fifteenth century
The 15th century saw two councils convened, one in 1457 and one in 1497. The 1457 council was held by Cardinal de Foix, Archbishop of Arles and legate of Avignon, who was also a Franciscan. His primary reason was to promote the doctrine of Immaculate Conception, in sense of the declaration of the council of Basle. They forbade the preaching of the contrary doctrine, as well as 64 disciplinary canons that were published, in keeping with the legislation of previous councils. In 1497 Archbishop Francesco Tarpugi after the council he was cardinal presided over the council. They published a similar number of decrees to the 1457 council. It was decreed that the sponsors of the newly confirmed were not obligated to make presents to their parents or to them. They also decreed that before the relics of the saints two candles were to be kept lit at all times.
Later Councils
During the next five centuries only six further councils were held. The 1509 council focused on disciplinary measures. The next council, in 1596, was called to discuss the furthering of the observance of the decrees of the Council of Trent., and the 1609 council was held for very similar circumstances. The councils of 1664 and 1725 were held to formulate disciplinary decrees. The 1725 council also decreed the duty of adhering to the Papal Bull Unigenitus 1713 of Clement XI that condemned the Oratorian, Pasquier Quesnel. The final council on record was in 1849 and it published ten chapters of canons concerning discipline and faith.
References
Council of Avignon
Category:Catholic Church councils held in France
Category:11th-century Catholic Church councils
Category:13th-century Catholic Church councils
Category:14th-century Catholic Church councils
Category:15th-century Catholic Church councils
Category:16th-century Catholic Church councils
Category:17th-century Catholic Church councils
Category:18th-century Catholic Church councils
Category:19th-century Catholic Church councils
Category:1849 in Christianity
Category:1849 conferences
Category:1725 conferences
Category:1725 in Christianity | wikipedia |
increasing the density of particles in granular materials causes them to undergo a transition from a fluid - like state , in which the particles can move relatively freely , to a jammed state , in which almost none of the particles can move @xcite . in glasses , a similar transition occurs when the temperature is decreased @xcite . as the material nears the glass or jamming transition , the system s relaxation time increases dramatically , until it diverges at the critical point @xcite .
the various kinetically - constrained models @xcite capture the essence of the glass or jamming transitions and there has been much recent activity on them .
some of these models simulate the way that particles block each other s movement by requiring that a particle can move only if its neighbors satisfy some condition @xcite .
other models add driving forces which simulate the resistance of jammed systems to external forces @xcite .
in general , the system is coarse - grained to a lattice , and each site is in one of two states , @xmath6 or @xmath7 . in lattice - gas models a site in state @xmath7 represents a particle which may move to an adjacent vacant site , represented by state @xmath6 , if its local neighborhood satisfies some model - dependent rule . in spin - facilitated models state @xmath7 represents a high density region in granular systems and an inactive region in glasses , while state @xmath6 represents either a low density region or an active region in granular matter and glass - forming liquids respectively .
a site can change its state from @xmath6 to @xmath7 and vice versa , with a temperature - dependent rate if the site s local neighborhood satisfies some model - dependent rule . in this paper
we consider the kob - andersen ( ka ) @xcite and fredrickson - andersen ( fa ) @xcite kinetically - constrained models on one- and two - dimensional square lattices . in the fa spin - facilitated model ,
a site can change its state from @xmath6 to @xmath7 and vice versa if it has at least @xmath8 neighboring vacancies . in the ka lattice - gas model ,
a particle needs at least @xmath8 adjacent vacancies before and after the move in order to move to a nearest neighbor vacant site .
higher dimensional versions of these models with higher values of @xmath8 have also been investigated @xcite .
the glass or jamming transitions result from cooperative dynamics , in the manner that particles are blocked by their neighbors , which in turn are blocked by their neighbors , and so on , such that in order for a single particle to move , many others need to move before it . the number of these shells " and their weight , represent the structural changes in the system as it nears the critical point , and they diverge at the critical point . in effect
, they represent the minimal number of steps needed for a particle to move , which may be found by culling the shells iteratively . above the critical density , or equivalently below the critical temperature ,
some of these shells can not be culled since the particles in them block each other .
this culling process is the usual manner to check whether a system is jammed or not , because if no shells remain after the culling then all the particles may move and the system is not jammed .
the culling time represents a length scale related to relaxation of the system @xcite .
we note here that this length scale is not the only way to quantify the relation between the structure of the system and its dynamics @xcite , and it remains an open question which structural order parameter is a better choice . in most previous works regarding the fa and ka models , the relaxation time was measured by the two - time density autocorrelation function @xcite . in this paper
we use the persistence function , defined as the fraction of particles that have not yet moved until time @xmath9 ( in lattice - gas models ) or the fraction of sites that have not changed state until time @xmath9 ( in spin - facilitated models ) .
the persistence function was thoroughly investigated in the relatively simple @xmath10 models @xcite , but there are also works on higher values of @xmath8 @xcite , and other kinetically - constrained models @xcite .
generally , the density autocorrelation function and the persistence function behave similarly .
in this paper we study the relation between the culling time and the relaxation time , obtained from the persistence function , and show that near the critical point the relation is a model - dependent power law which can be explained as a diffusion of rare droplets .
we show that this is a general result by also considering another kinetically - constrained model , the spiral model @xcite . in section [ secmodels ]
we describe the models investigated in this paper .
our results for the culling time and the relaxation time are shown in sections [ seccull ] and [ secpers ] respectively , and are compared in section [ seccomp ] .
section [ secsum ] summarizes the paper .
we consider the ka and fa models on a @xmath11-dimensional square lattice . at time @xmath12 , each site in the lattice is either in state @xmath7 with probability @xmath13 , or in state @xmath6 with probability @xmath14 without correlations between sites . in this way
, we probe the equilibrium distribution of the system . in the fa model ,
a site can change its state from @xmath6 to @xmath7 and vice versa if it has at least @xmath8 neighboring vacancies . in the ka model ,
sites at state @xmath7 are occupied by particles , and sites at state @xmath6 are vacant .
a particle needs at least @xmath8 adjacent vacancies before and after the move in order to move to a nearest neighbor vacant site .
we consider here three cases : @xmath15 , @xmath16 , and @xmath17 .
the first two cases @xmath18 in the ka model are equivalent to the simple symmetric exclusion principle ( ssep ) model @xcite , in which a particle can move if it has a neighboring vacancy . when @xmath10 all the particles are able to move eventually ( in the ka mod el ) or change their state eventually ( in the fa model ) , while if @xmath19 there is a system - size - dependent value of the density above which a finite fraction of the particles will not be able to move ( ka model ) @xcite or change their state ( fa model ) @xcite . in square systems of size
@xmath20 , this critical vacancy density is given by @xcite @xmath21 where @xmath22 is a weak function of @xmath23 @xcite .
in the system sizes we consider here , @xmath24 , whereas in the limit @xmath25 it is equal to @xmath26 .
we perform on these systems two types of dynamics : culling dynamics and real dynamics . in the culling dynamics ,
we iteratively remove the particles which are able to move ( ka ) , or change to @xmath6 the state of the sites which are able to do so ( fa ) . in the real dynamics , every time step @xmath27 , with @xmath28 being the number of sites , one of the sites is chosen randomly . in the fa model , in order for a site to change its state , it first must have @xmath8 neighboring vacancies as noted before .
if this condition is satisfied , the site changes its state from @xmath6 to @xmath7 with probability @xmath29 and from @xmath7 to @xmath6 with probability @xmath30 . in order to maintain detailed balance
while maximizing the transition probabilities , we set @xmath31 in the ka model , if the chosen site is occupied , a random direction is also chosen , and the chosen particle can move in that direction if the neighboring site in that direction is empty , and the particle has at least @xmath8 neighboring vacancies before and after the move . in the real dynamics , we use a continuous time , or rejection - free algorithm since at high densities the probability that an allowable move is randomly chosen is very small . in this algorithm
we randomly generate the number of time steps that have passed between successive moves based on the probability that a move is possible . in this way
, we do not wait for long periods of time until a move is made , but rather advance the clock in large random steps . for the culling dynamics
we define the culling time cumulative distribution @xmath32 as the fraction of sites that started in state @xmath7 and did nt change to @xmath6 until iteration @xmath33 of the culling process , and for the real dynamics we define the persistence function @xmath34 as the fraction of particles that have not yet moved ( ka ) or the fraction of sites that started from state @xmath7 and did not change to @xmath6 ( fa ) until time @xmath9 .
obviously @xmath35 for all models .
the culling time @xmath36 and the persistence time @xmath37 , defined respectively as the average number of iterations needed to cull a particle and the average time until a particle moves ( ka ) or a site changes its state ( fa ) for the first time , are given by @xmath38 where @xmath39 if the system is unjammed , i.e. that all of the sites ( particles ) will be able to flip ( move ) eventually , and @xmath40 if the system is jammed , i.e. that some of the sites ( particles ) will never be able to flip ( move ) .
therefore , @xmath41 and @xmath42 act as the system s edwards - anderson order parameter @xcite . in the fa models ,
flipping sites only to @xmath6 may occur in the real dynamics , albeit with a negligible probability , and thus @xmath43 .
however , in the ka models it is possible that some particles will never be able to move but are still culled because other particles that may move but block them are culled , and thus @xmath44 .
although the case @xmath45 is possible in finite systems , we assume that it does not occur in the thermodynamic limit since we encountered such a scen ario only in very small systems .
in the @xmath10 models , there are no permanently frozen particles , and thus @xmath46 .
furthermore , we obtain an explicit expression for @xmath47 .
the number of particles culled in the @xmath33th step , @xmath48 , is the number of particles that all of their @xmath49-nearest neighbors are occupied and at least one of the @xmath33-nearest neighbors is vacant . for @xmath50
this is @xmath51 and for @xmath52 it is @xmath53 solving these recursion equations yields for @xmath50 @xmath54 and for @xmath52 @xmath55 hence , by substitution in eq .
( [ taudef ] ) we find that the culling times are given by @xmath56 where @xmath57 is the jacobi theta function @xcite . at high particle densities , @xmath58 ,
we may approximate @xmath59 by @xmath60 in a similar manner for general dimensions , by calculating the number of @xmath33-nearest neighbors in a @xmath11-dimensional hypercubic lattice , @xmath61 , we find that @xmath62 it was shown in @xcite that @xmath61 is a polynomial given by @xmath63 at high particle densities , @xmath64 , we can find an approximation for @xmath65 in any dimension . from eq .
( [ eqmd ] ) we find that @xmath66 is given by @xmath67 .\end{aligned}\ ] ] we now note that @xmath61 is a polynomial of order @xmath11 with the coefficient of @xmath68 given by @xmath69 changing the sum over @xmath33 to an integral over @xmath70 yields @xmath71dx=\nonumber\\ & = \frac{\gamma\left(1+\frac{1}{d}\right)\left(d!\right)^{1/d}}{2v^{1/d } } .\label{taucapp}\end{aligned}\ ] ] except for the non - trivial prefactor , the dependence of @xmath65 on the vacancy density @xmath72 comes simply from the fact that @xmath65 is the distance to the nearest vacancy , which scales as @xmath73 . in the @xmath17 models , we find @xmath74 and @xmath75 numerically by running simulations on square systems of size @xmath20 , with @xmath76 or @xmath77 .
we only consider densities below the critical density ( see eq .
( [ critv ] ) ) , @xmath78 and @xmath79 , since in the thermodynamic limit the critical density is @xmath80 and thus the results relevant to this limit are below the size - dependent critical density .
figure [ m_v_s ] shows the dependence of @xmath47 on @xmath33 . at small @xmath33
we find an exponential decay @xmath81 , which is similar to the behavior of @xmath82 in eq .
( [ m11 ] ) , while for large @xmath33 , the form is gaussian @xmath83 , which is similar to @xmath84 in eq . ( [ m21 ] ) .
the reason is that for small @xmath33 , the particles are culled mostly one by one such that the behavior is quasi - one - dimensional , and when the empty region is large enough , the particles around it are culled by diagonal shells as a two - dimensional system , see fig .
[ logcull ] . , ( top panels ) and its logarithm ( bottom panels ) as a function of the iteration number @xmath33 for the @xmath17 fa model ( left panels ) and ka model ( right panels ) .
the system s linear size is either @xmath76 ( blue dots ) or @xmath85 ( red continuous lines ) .
each curve is for a different density ( from left to right ) @xmath86 .
there is almost no difference between the different system sizes .
the bottom panels show only data for @xmath85 .
the straight black lines in the bottom panels are @xmath87 and @xmath88 .
there is almost no difference between the fa and the ka models.,title="fig : " ] , ( top panels ) and its logarithm ( bottom panels ) as a function of the iteration number @xmath33 for the @xmath17 fa model ( left panels ) and ka model ( right panels ) .
the system s linear size is either @xmath76 ( blue dots ) or @xmath85 ( red continuous lines ) .
each curve is for a different density ( from left to right ) @xmath86 .
there is almost no difference between the different system sizes .
the bottom panels show only data for @xmath85 .
the straight black lines in the bottom panels are @xmath87 and @xmath88 .
there is almost no difference between the fa and the ka models.,title="fig : " ] + , ( top panels ) and its logarithm ( bottom panels ) as a function of the iteration number @xmath33 for the @xmath17 fa model ( left panels ) and ka model ( right panels ) .
the system s linear size is either @xmath76 ( blue dots ) or @xmath85 ( red continuous lines ) .
each curve is for a different density ( from left to right ) @xmath86 .
there is almost no difference between the different system sizes .
the bottom panels show only data for @xmath85 .
the straight black lines in the bottom panels are @xmath87 and @xmath88 .
there is almost no difference between the fa and the ka models.,title="fig : " ] , ( top panels ) and its logarithm ( bottom panels ) as a function of the iteration number @xmath33 for the @xmath17 fa model ( left panels ) and ka model ( right panels ) .
the system s linear size is either @xmath76 ( blue dots ) or @xmath85 ( red continuous lines ) .
each curve is for a different density ( from left to right ) @xmath86 .
there is almost no difference between the different system sizes .
the bottom panels show only data for @xmath85 .
the straight black lines in the bottom panels are @xmath87 and @xmath88 .
there is almost no difference between the fa and the ka models.,title="fig : " ] for each site in a typical @xmath89 configuration in the fa model at @xmath90 .
the legend shows the range of @xmath33 represented by each color .
the diagonal borders between regions of different colors , which are indicative of a two - dimensional culling process , are clearly seen at large scales . see for example the diagonals at the lower left corner , and in the region above the legend to the right . ] vs. the distance @xmath91 to the nearest critical droplet for a single @xmath89 configuration at the critical density @xmath92 for the d = m=2 fa model .
lines with positive ( negative ) slope indicate culling around the empty region away ( toward ) the seed of the droplets , see text . at intermediate times
@xmath93 the culling time generally grows with the distance from the droplet , since at those times the droplet in the configuration shown here expanded away from the seed in two of the four directions . at longer times , the droplet expanded in all directions , including toward the seed .
the points with low @xmath33 and large distance represent small , active regions which are far from the critical droplet . ] vs. the reciprocal of the vacancy density @xmath94 for @xmath17 .
there is almost no difference between the @xmath95 and the @xmath96 models . below the jamming density ,
there is almost no difference between @xmath76 and @xmath85 , and the mean culling time may be fitted to @xmath97 with @xmath98(ka),@xmath99(fa ) , and @xmath100 , as shown by the black dotted lines .
@xmath1 reaches a maximum around the critical density ( vertical dashed black lines ) , because at higher densities the frozen sites can no longer be culled and thus do not contribute to @xmath1 . ] in the @xmath10 models , the culling process is equivalent to expanding the vacant regions , and thus the culling time for a given site is its distance to the nearest vacancy , @xmath101 , see eq .
( [ taucapp ] ) above . in the @xmath19 models ,
the culling process is dominated by critical droplets @xcite , which are small regions that may be expanded by the culling process to include the entire system .
hence , the culling time is the distance to the nearest seed for a critical droplet , if the site is far enough from the droplet , as shown in fig .
[ cull_v_dis ] .
because the probability of a given site to seed a critical droplet is @xmath102 , with @xmath24 in the sampled density range @xcite , the average distance from a droplet , and thus the mean culling time , should scale as @xmath103 .
we see from fig .
[ tc_v_r ] that this form of the scaling is consistent with our numerical data .
since the @xmath10 ka lattice gas is equivalent to ssep , instead of considering motion of particles , we may think of the dynamics as diffusion of vacancies , such that the persistence of a given site is the mean first passage time of vacancies to that site . since the vacancies can diffuse freely , all particles will eventually move and thus @xmath104 . at high particle density ,
@xmath58 , we may make the approximation that the vacancies are independent , and allow two ( or more ) vacancies to occupy the same site .
furthermore , at long times the discrete nature of the lattice becomes irrelevant and we may use results from continuous models . under these approximations , the long time behavior of the mean first passage time distribution , and thus of the persistence function , is described by @xcite @xmath105&d=1\\\\ \exp\left[-\frac{4\pi dvt}{\ln dt / r^{2}}\right]&d=2\\\\ \exp\left[-\left(d-2\right)s_{d}r^{d-2}dvt\right]&d\geq3 \end{array}\right .
, \label{pt}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath106 is the surface area of the @xmath11-dimensional unit sphere , and @xmath107 is the self - diffusion coefficient for the motion of the vacancies . for the @xmath10 models , @xmath108 . in continuous models , @xmath109 is the radius of the trapping region . in a discrete lattice ,
in which each site contains at most one particle , @xmath110 . at short times
we may use a mean - field approximation , such that the probability that a particle can move to an adjacent site ( for the first time , since this is an approximation for short times ) is @xmath72 , and thus @xmath111 which yields @xmath112 .
note that in kinetically constrained models , by construction the occupation probabilities of neighboring sites at a given time are uncorrelated , the dynamics are spatially heterogeneous @xcite . in the appendix
we derive an exact expression for the one - dimensional case at all times , under the approximation that the diffusing vacancies are independent .
the fa ising model may be thought of as a diffusion - reaction model , which behaves similarly . at high particle densities in the fa model , @xmath113 , and sites in state @xmath6
can be considered to change practically instantly to state @xmath7 ( when the kinetic constraint does not prevent them from doing so ) compared to the time it takes a site in state @xmath7 to flip .
thus , when a state @xmath7 flips and immediately after that its state @xmath6 neighbor flips , it appears as if the state @xmath7 moved .
this effective movement happens on a different time scale than in the ka model , because the rate @xmath30 is smaller than @xmath7 , and thus time should be normalized by @xmath114 in order to map the fa dynamics on those of the ka model . in what follows
we thus normalize time by @xmath115 and interpret the rates @xmath30 and @xmath29 as equal to unity in the ka model .
figure [ pvtm1 ] shows the persistence function for the @xmath10 models .
we see that the fa and ka models behave similarly , except for a prefactor , and that the analytical approximation , eq .
( [ pt ] ) , is in good agreement with the numerical results . as a function of the normalized time @xmath116 in the @xmath10 models in @xmath50 ( a ) and @xmath52 ( b ) for the fa ( dashed lines ) and ka ( dotted lines ) models . in panel
( a ) , the continuous lines are the analytical approximation , eq .
( [ pt ] ) . as the scaling from eq .
( [ pt ] ) for @xmath52 is difficult to see from panel ( b ) , we show in panel ( c ) @xmath117 vs. @xmath9 for @xmath118 in the @xmath52 fa model . at small times
@xmath119 decreases exponentially with @xmath9 , but at longer times it decreases exponentially with @xmath120 as expected from eq .
( [ pt ] ) .
the drop at long times is due to finite - size effects , and the thin line is @xmath121.,title="fig : " ] + as a function of the normalized time @xmath116 in the @xmath10 models in @xmath50 ( a ) and @xmath52 ( b ) for the fa ( dashed lines ) and ka ( dotted lines ) models . in panel
( a ) , the continuous lines are the analytical approximation , eq .
( [ pt ] ) . as the scaling from eq .
( [ pt ] ) for @xmath52 is difficult to see from panel ( b ) , we show in panel ( c ) @xmath117 vs. @xmath9 for @xmath118 in the @xmath52 fa model . at small times
@xmath119 decreases exponentially with @xmath9 , but at longer times it decreases exponentially with @xmath120 as expected from eq .
( [ pt ] ) .
the drop at long times is due to finite - size effects , and the thin line is @xmath121.,title="fig : " ] + as a function of the normalized time @xmath116 in the @xmath10 models in @xmath50 ( a ) and @xmath52 ( b ) for the fa ( dashed lines ) and ka ( dotted lines ) models . in panel
( a ) , the continuous lines are the analytical approximation , eq .
( [ pt ] ) . as the scaling from eq .
( [ pt ] ) for @xmath52 is difficult to see from panel ( b ) , we show in panel ( c ) @xmath117 vs. @xmath9 for @xmath118 in the @xmath52 fa model . at small times
@xmath119 decreases exponentially with @xmath9 , but at longer times it decreases exponentially with @xmath120 as expected from eq .
( [ pt ] ) .
the drop at long times is due to finite - size effects , and the thin line is @xmath121.,title="fig : " ] similarly to the @xmath10 models , at high densities the @xmath19 fa model behaves as the @xmath19 ka model under the proper time normalization for the exact same reasons as in the @xmath10 models . at short times
, the persistence decays exponentially as @xmath122 where in @xmath52 , @xmath123 is the probability that a random particle has at least two neighboring vacancies before and after the move .
this result is obtained from a mean - field approximation , valid for short times , similarly to the analysis above for the @xmath10 models .
this exponential decay continues until time @xmath124 , which is the typical time at which all the sites that were able to flip at @xmath12 have flipped ( fa ) or all the particles that were able to move at @xmath12 have moved ( ka ) .
after that time , we see from the numerical results that the persistence decays as a stretched exponential @xmath125 as shown in fig .
[ pvtm2 ] .
note however that in the thermodynamic limit and at extremely long times the persistence function eventually decays exponentially @xcite . as a function of the normalized time in the @xmath19 fa ( dashed lines ) and ka ( dotted lines ) models .
at short times the exponential decay of the persistence function agrees with eqs .
( [ pt1],[omega ] ) , denoted by the solid lines , but at longer times it decays subexponentially as @xmath126 .
( b ) the exponent @xmath5 vs. the vacancy density @xmath72 .
the blue symbols are the numerical results , and the dashed red line is the analytical approximation for small @xmath72 , eq .
( [ betavsv]).,title="fig : " ] + as a function of the normalized time in the @xmath19 fa ( dashed lines ) and ka ( dotted lines ) models . at short times
the exponential decay of the persistence function agrees with eqs .
( [ pt1],[omega ] ) , denoted by the solid lines , but at longer times it decays subexponentially as @xmath126 .
( b ) the exponent @xmath5 vs. the vacancy density @xmath72 .
the blue symbols are the numerical results , and the dashed red line is the analytical approximation for small @xmath72 , eq .
( [ betavsv]).,title="fig : " ] combining eqs .
( [ taudef ] ) , ( [ pt1 ] ) and ( [ pt2 ] ) we find that the persistence time may be approximated by @xmath127 where @xmath128 is the incomplete gamma function . in the limit of small @xmath72 ( and thus small @xmath5 ) , @xmath129 may be further approximated by @xmath130 previous numerical studies @xcite have shown that in a @xmath131 system , the exponent @xmath5 converges to a value of @xmath132 as the density is raised to @xmath133 , near the critical density for jamming in a system of that size , @xmath134 @xcite , while we get @xmath135 at @xmath90 and it clearly does not converge .
the reason for this apparent discrepancy lies in the preparation protocol . in our simulations , each site at time @xmath12 is in state @xmath7 with probability @xmath13 and in state @xmath6 with probability @xmath72 , and
thus the initial configuration is chosen from the equilibrium distribution . in the simulations reported in @xcite ,
all the spins were initially set to @xmath6 , the system was evolved for a long time until it apparently reached equilibrium , and then the measurement of the persistence function started . however , we suspect that these simulations did not equilibrate . indeed , by simulating a @xmath131 system at @xmath90 with such a quenched initial condition , we find @xmath136 if we wait for @xmath137 steps per site , while by waiting for @xmath138 steps per site we get @xmath139 , still far from the equilibrium result .
it would be interesting to test the convergence of @xmath5 to its equilibrium value by waiting considerably longer times after such quenches .
in order to compare the culling time @xmath65 and the persistence time @xmath129 , we return to the picture of diffusing vacancies . for @xmath10 , combining eqs .
( [ taudef]),([taucapp ] ) and ( [ pt ] ) for @xmath50 and @xmath140 yields @xmath141 where @xmath142 is some constant .
for @xmath52 the integral @xmath143 where @xmath144 is given by eq .
( [ pt ] ) , can not be computed exactly for any finite @xmath72 , and requires more work to find the asymptotic expansion for small @xmath72 .
we first change the integration variable from @xmath9 to @xmath145 @xmath146dx , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath147 and as noted above @xmath110 .
we now divide the range of integration to three parts : @xmath148 to @xmath7 , @xmath7 to @xmath149 , and @xmath150 to @xmath151 .
the first part is negligible because its total contribution is smaller than @xmath7 .
the third part is negligible because in the limit of @xmath152 , both the integrand and the range of integration go to @xmath6 .
hence , @xmath153dx .\end{aligned}\ ] ] in this region , @xmath154 , and thus we may further approximate @xmath155 by @xmath156dx\approx\nonumber\\ & \approx-\frac{\ln(c_{2}v)}{4\pi dv } , \label{tau2d}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where in the last approximation we used @xmath58 . combining eq .
( [ taucapp ] ) and ( [ tau2d ] ) yields @xmath157 in the @xmath19 models , the dynamics is dominated by movement of droplets , not of individual vacancies .
we recall that the droplets appear with an effective density of @xmath158 and that @xmath159 .
the self - diffusion coefficient of particles in the @xmath19 model is given by @xcite @xmath160 we are interested in the self diffusion of droplets .
the particles inside the droplets are the most mobile particles in the system , and thus contribute the most to the self diffusion coefficient of particles in the system .
therefore , the self diffusion coefficient for the droplets may be approximated by the self diffusion coefficient of the particles , given by eq .
( [ diffm2 ] ) . using eq .
( [ diffm2 ] ) and changing @xmath72 to @xmath161 in eq .
( [ tau2d ] ) yields @xmath162 from this relation we can find an approximation for @xmath163 at small @xmath72 . combining eqs . ( [ beta ] ) , ( [ diffm2 ] ) and ( [ relm2 ] ) for the ka model yields @xmath164 solving for @xmath72 yields @xmath165 } , \label{vvsb}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath166 $ ] is the product - log function @xcite defined as the solution to @xmath167\exp\left(w\left[z\right]\right ) .\end{aligned}\ ] ] expanding eq .
( [ vvsb ] ) for small @xmath5 yields @xmath168 solving for @xmath5 , and approximating for small @xmath72 yields @xmath169 which for small @xmath72 is shown on fig .
[ pvtm2]b to roughly agree with the value of @xmath5 obtained from the stretched exponential form of the persistence function , eq .
( [ pt2 ] ) . in order to show that the relation between @xmath129 and @xmath65 is general , we also consider here the two - dimensional spiral model @xcite .
this model jams at a finite density , at which the frozen structures are one - dimensional strings that run along the diagonal directions of the lattice .
below the critical density , but near it , the largest contribution to the persistence time comes from such almost - frozen strings , and thus we may approximate this as a quasi - one - dimensional process ( see fig . [ spiral_map ] ) , which leads to @xmath170 as the density approaches the critical density , we see from the numerical results shown in fig .
[ spiraldiffusion ] , that the diffusion coefficient approaches zero as @xmath171 and thus @xmath172 , which is slightly below the critical density for the simulated system size of @xmath76 .
the one - dimensional structures running along the diagonal directions of the lattice are clearly seen.,title="fig : " ] , which is slightly below the critical density for the simulated system size of @xmath76 .
the one - dimensional structures running along the diagonal directions of the lattice are clearly seen.,title="fig : " ] in the two - dimensional spiral model vs. the culling time @xmath1 .
the continuous line is @xmath173 . ]
figure [ p_v_c ] shows the excellent agreement between the numerical results and eqs .
( [ reld1 ] ) , ( [ reld2 ] ) , ( [ relm2 ] ) and ( [ relspiral ] ) at densities slightly below the critical density ( @xmath174 for the fa and ka models , and @xmath175 for the spiral model )
. it would be interesting to study the structural connections between the directed percolation underlying the jammed structures in the spiral model and the one - dimensional nature of the relaxation processes in it .
furthermore , it would be interesting to identify possible logarithmic corrections to eq .
( [ relspiral ] ) and to numerically test their applicability . and the culling time @xmath65 for the fa and ka models and for the spiral model .
the continuous lines are the analytical approximations , eqs .
( [ reld1 ] ) , ( [ reld2 ] ) , ( [ relm2 ] ) , and ( [ relspiral ] ) . ]
in this paper we investigated the relation between the structural changes in the system , represented by the culling time @xmath65 , and between the relaxation time of the persistence function @xmath129 in the fredrickson - andersen and kob - andersen kinetically constrained models in one and two dimensions , and in the two - dimensional spiral model .
we found that @xmath176 , up to logarithmic corrections in the fredrickson - andersen and kob - andersen models in two dimensions , where @xmath3 is model - dependent .
this result is explained by mapping the persistence of a site to a first passage time of diffusing defects , with their initial distance given by the culling time .
we also found that the persistence function in the @xmath19 models at long times behaves as a stretched exponential @xmath177 $ ] , where @xmath5 probably goes to zero at small vacancy densities in contradiction to previous studies in which @xmath5 was believed to converge to a finite value .
the difference arises because the previous results were obtained in systems which were not in equilibrium , while our simulations are performed in equilibrium .
the general relation between the culling and the persistence times may also hold in other models , including continuum models , and in experiments . since the @xmath10 fredrickson - andersen and kob - andersen models represent normal gas or liquid ,
while the @xmath19 models and the spiral model represent glassy behavior , the exponent @xmath3 is a measure for the glassiness " of a system
. it would be interesting to check whether this relation holds also for other measures of the relaxation , such as the autocorrelation function , with the same value of @xmath3 .
also , it would be interesting to study the relation between the culling and the persistence in the three - dimensional extension of the spiral model @xcite , in which there is a decoupling between the structure and the dynamics , namely the density above which permanently jammed structures appear is lower than the density above which the long time self - diffusion stops .
we thank roman golkov , fabio leoni , david mukamel , nimrod segall , and cristina toninelli for helpful discussions .
this research was supported by the israel science foundation grants no .
@xmath178 , @xmath179 .
here we derive an exact expression for the persistence function in the one - dimensional @xmath10 ka model , using the approximation of non - interacting diffusing vacancies . consider a one - dimensional lattice of length @xmath181 with @xmath182 vacancies .
we are interested in the limit @xmath25 , and implicitly take this limit during the derivation whenever there is no singularity .
the persistence function , @xmath180 , is the probability that none of these diffusing vacancies reached the origin until time @xmath9 .
since we assume that the vacancies are non - interacting , it is enough to compute the probability that a single vacancy did not reach the origin until time @xmath9 , @xmath183 , and from that we can obtain @xmath184^{v\cdot ( 2l+1)}$ ] . at each time step @xmath185
, there is a probability @xmath185 that the vacancy tries to move , and if it does there is an equal probability to move either to the left or to the right . without loss of generality , we may assume that this vacancy is at site @xmath186 at time @xmath12 .
the evolution equation for the probability @xmath187 that at time @xmath9 the vacancy was at site @xmath188 reads @xmath189 , \end{aligned}\ ] ] for @xmath190 , and @xmath191 for @xmath192 , since if the vacancy reached the site @xmath193 , the process stops . in the limit @xmath194
this transforms to the differential equations @xmath195 the general solution to the first differential equation is @xcite @xmath196 where @xmath197 is the modified bessel function of the first kind . setting the general solution in the equation for @xmath192 yields @xmath198 using the relation @xmath199
, we find that @xmath200 imposing the initial condition @xmath201 and using @xmath202 yields @xmath203 hence , @xmath204 .\end{aligned}\ ] ] the probability that the vacancy did not reach the origin until time @xmath9 , given that it started from @xmath205 is @xmath206 .\end{aligned}\ ] ] averaging over all initial states yields @xmath207 , \label{eqq1}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where we used @xmath208 in order to calculate the last sum , we change the order of summation such that @xmath209 where we used eq .
( [ bes1 ] ) .
we now use the relation @xmath210 , \end{aligned}\ ] ] and find that @xmath211 .\label{eqq3}\end{aligned}\ ] ] therefore , by combining eqs .
( [ eqq1 ] ) , ( [ eqq2 ] ) and ( [ eqq3 ] ) , we find that @xmath212 , \end{aligned}\ ] ] and thus the persistence function is given by @xmath213^{v(2l+1)}=\nonumber\\ & = \exp\left\{-v\left[e^{-t}i_{0}(t)-1+te^{-t}\left(i_{0}(t)+i_{1}(t)\right)\right]\right\ } .\end{aligned}\ ] ] | arxiv |
here we consider two nuclear - spin - polarized fermionic atoms interacting via @xmath1-wave and @xmath0-wave channels .
the atoms are confined in a tube with frozen transverse degrees of freedom ( only the lowest vibrational transverse mode is populated ) . along the tube direction ,
@xmath63 , there is a weak harmonic confinement with frequency @xmath64 , and we will first assume the two atoms populate the vibrational modes @xmath6 and @xmath7 .
in this case there are only four states spanning the hilbert space : the triplet states @xmath65 , @xmath9 , @xmath66 , and the singlet , @xmath67 . here
the convention used is that the left atom populates mode @xmath6 and the right atom mode @xmath7 . in the presence of a laser field with wave vector @xmath68 and detuned from the atom transition frequency by @xmath17 ,
the two - atom hamiltonian in the rotating frame reduces to eq . 1 in the main text .
here @xmath69 , with @xmath70 the lamb - dicke parameter along the @xmath57 direction , @xmath71 the bare rabi frequency , and @xmath72 the laguerre polynomial .
@xmath73 is the atom mass .
the @xmath1-wave and @xmath0-wave interaction parameters are @xmath74 and @xmath75 . here
@xmath76 and @xmath77 are geometric terms that take into account the spatial overlap between the atomic wavefunctions of colliding atoms in modes @xmath78 and @xmath79 .
they are given by @xmath80 and @xmath81 , where @xmath82 are hermite polynomials .
the dependence of @xmath83 and @xmath84 on the vibrational mode encapsulates the temperature dependence of the interactions .
we ignore interactions during the pulses , and consequently the number of excited atoms after the first pulse is @xmath85 during the dark time , the hamiltonian is diagonal and each state acquires just a phase . after the second pulse ,
the excited state population is @xmath86 , \label{fringe}\end{aligned}\ ] ] with @xmath87 an overall offset , @xmath88 the fringe amplitude , and @xmath89 the frequency shift .
these quantities can be computed analytically . in the 2-d lattice system
an array of isolated tubes is populated with mainly one and two atoms per tube . if @xmath90 tubes are singly occupied and @xmath91 tubes doubly occupied , then @xmath92 \left ( \mathcal { a}_{{n_1,n_2}}^{1}+\mathcal { a}_{{n_1,n_2}}^{2e } \right ) + \sin[\delta t ] \mathcal{b}_{{n_1,n_2}}^e,\end{aligned}\ ] ] with @xmath93\\&&\notag + \frac{1}{2}\sum _ { i=1}^{n_0}[1-\sin \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) -\cos \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 2^i\right)];\\ & & \mathcal{b}_{{n_1,n_2}}^e = \frac{1}{2}\sum _ { i=1}^{n_1 } \\&&\notag -\cos \left(t c_i\right ) \left[\cos
\left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(2 \theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(t b_i\right)+\sin \left(2 \delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(t d_i\right)\right]\\&&\notag + 2 \sin \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(t c_i\right ) \cos
\left(t d_i\right)+\cos \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos
\left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \left[\sin \left(t \left(v_i^{\text{ee}}-v_i^{\text{eg}}\right)\right)+\sin \left(t \left(v_i^{\text{eg}}-v_i^{\text{gg}}\right)\right)\right];\\ & & \mathcal{a}_{{n_1,n_2 } } ^{1}=\frac{1}{2}\sum _ { i=1}^{n_0 } ( \cos\theta_1^i \cos\theta_2^i \sin\delta\theta_2^i \sin\delta\theta_1^i + \cos\delta \theta_1^i \cos \delta \theta_2^i \sin\theta_2^i \sin\theta_1^i ) \\ & & \mathcal{a}_{{n_1,n_2 } } ^{2e}=\frac{1}{2}\sum _ { i=1}^{n_1 } \\&&\notag \cos \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \left[2 \cos \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(t b_i\right ) \sin
\left(t c_i\right)+\cos \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \left(\cos \left(t \left(v_i^{\text{ee}}-v_i^{\text{eg}}\right)\right)+\cos \left(t \left(v_i^{\text{eg}}-v_i^{\text{gg}}\right)\right)\right)\right]+\\&&\notag\sin \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \left[\sin \left(2 \delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(t c_i\right ) \sin
\left(t d_i\right)+\sin \left(\delta
\theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _
1^i\right ) \left(\cos \left(t
\left(u_i^{\text{eg}}-v_i^{\text{ee}}\right)\right)+\cos \left(t \left(u_i^{\text{eg}}-v_i^{\text{gg}}\right)\right)\right)\right ] .
\end{aligned}\ ] ] in the above equations , the dependence of the various parameters on the modes @xmath26 is omitted for simplicity but implied .
the index @xmath57 runs over the set of doubly- and singly - occupied tubes .
@xmath94 , @xmath95 , and @xmath96 . due to the gaussian profile of the laser beams ,
the trapping confinement varies from tube to tube .
this variation gives rise to tube - dependent interaction parameters as well as tube - dependent rabi frequencies @xmath97 and @xmath98 . here
@xmath99 .
if the atomic population is initially prepared in the excited state ( @xmath41 ) instead of the ground state ( @xmath100 ) , then @xmath101 \left ( \mathcal { a}_{{n_1,n_2}}^{1}+\mathcal { a}_{{n_1,n_2}}^{2 g } \right ) + \sin[\delta t ] \mathcal{b}_{{n_1,n_2}}^g,\end{aligned}\ ] ] with @xmath102\\&&\notag + \frac{1}{2}\sum _ { i=1}^{n_0}[1+\sin \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) + \cos \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta
_ 2^i\right)];\\ & & \mathcal{b}_{{n_1,n_2}}^g = \frac{1}{2}\sum _ { i=1}^{n_1 } \\&&\notag \cos \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \left[\sin \left(2 \theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(t b_i\right ) \cos \left(t c_i\right)+\cos \left(\delta
\theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _
1^i\right ) \left(\sin \left(t \left(v_i^{\text{ee}}-v_i^{\text{eg}}\right)\right)+\sin \left(t \left(v_i^{\text{eg}}-v_i^{\text{gg}}\right)\right)\right)\right]+\\&&\notag\sin \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \left[2 \sin \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(t c_i\right ) \cos \left(t
d_i\right)+\sin \left(2 \delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos \left(t c_i\right ) \sin \left(t
d_i\right)\right];\\ & & \mathcal{a}_{{n_1,n_2 } } ^{2g}=\frac{1}{2}\sum _ { i=1}^{n_1 } \\&&\notag \cos \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \left[\cos \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \left(\cos \left(t
\left(v_i^{\text{ee}}-v_i^{\text{eg}}\right)\right)+\cos \left(t \left(v_i^{\text{eg}}-v_i^{\text{gg}}\right)\right)\right)-2 \cos \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin \left(t b_i\right ) \sin \left(t
c_i\right)\right]\\&&\notag+\sin \left(\delta \theta _ 2^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 2^i\right ) \left[\sin \left(\delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \cos \left(\theta _ 1^i\right ) \left(\cos \left(t \left(u_i^{\text{eg}}-v_i^{\text{ee}}\right)\right)+\cos \left(t \left(u_i^{\text{eg}}-v_i^{\text{gg}}\right)\right)\right)-\sin \left(2 \delta \theta _ 1^i\right ) \sin
\left(t c_i\right ) \sin \left(t d_i\right)\right].\end{aligned}\ ] ] in both cases the shift is given by @xmath103 with @xmath104 denoting a thermal average .
@xmath0 is an integer that needs to be chosen so that during the @xmath105 ( @xmath106 ) interrogation the total number of atoms driven to @xmath13 ( @xmath12 ) reaches a maximum value at @xmath107 , instead of a minimum .
it also ensures that the shift is a smooth function of @xmath5 .
if @xmath0 is not correctly chosen the shift can jump discontinuously instead of becoming smoothly displaced outside the first ramsey fringe . for the experimental regimes
described here , no discontinuity occurs and we can set @xmath108 . an important point to emphasize is the different dependence of the shift on @xmath5 in the weakly and strongly interacting regimes . in the weakly interacting regime ,
@xmath109 and @xmath110 , the @xmath111 term provides the leading contribution , because it exhibits a linear dependence on interactions @xmath112 .
this results in a @xmath5-independent collision shift . on the other hand , in the strongly interacting regime , @xmath113 , both terms @xmath111 and @xmath114 exhibit a nontrivial sinusoidal dependence on the various interaction parameters .
this implies that as @xmath5 increases , both @xmath111 and @xmath114 exhibit faster but bounded oscillations and therefore , according to eq .
[ shi ] , on average the shift decays as @xmath115 .
we consider now the case in which the system is interrogated during a long single rabi pulse of duration @xmath116 .
in this situation , both interaction- and laser - driven terms must be accounted for at the same time during the dynamical evolution . for @xmath1-wave - dominated collisions , reaching
the strongly interacting regime @xmath117 can lead to a suppression of the clock shift @xcite .
this is not necessarily the case for @xmath0-wave - dominated collisions , in which atoms interact even in the initially populated triplet manifold .
moreover , if @xmath118 and the atoms start in the triplet @xmath8 state , there is a large gap that they must overcome if @xmath119 to populate the @xmath120 state .
this means that only when @xmath121 do the two states become resonant , and population will be transferred between @xmath8 and @xmath120 . since @xmath8 is coupled to @xmath9 by a second - order process , population of @xmath9 is energetically suppressed . only if @xmath122 is there a two - photon resonance , but even in this case the overall amplitude is small since it is proportional to @xmath123 . from these considerations , one can write the lineshape of the 2d lattice array as @xmath124 + \sum_{i=1}^{n_1}\rho\left [ \sqrt{2 } \frac{(\bar{\omega}_{n_1,n_2}^i)^2}{b_{n_1,n_2}^i } , \delta -\frac{c_{n_1,n_2}^i}{2}\right]\notag \right.\\&&\left.+ \sum_{i=1}^{n_1}\rho[\sqrt{2}\delta{\omega}_{n_1,n_2}^i,\delta -u^{eg , i}_{n_1,n_2}+v^{gg , i}_{n_1,n_2}]+\sum_{i=1}^{n_0}\rho[{\omega}_{n_1}^i,\delta ] \right \rangle_\mathcal{t}\end{aligned}\]]with @xmath125=\frac{x^2}{x^2+y^2 } \sin^2[\sqrt{x^2+y^2}t /2 ] $ ] . for comparison with experiment
, we need to average over the tube array and evaluate thermal averages .
if it were possible to resolve the various peaks we would expect the line shape to have three single - photon resonances : one at @xmath126 coming from single occupied tubes , one @xmath0-wave related at @xmath127 , and one at @xmath128 due to @xmath1-wave collisions . to obtain the excitation fraction and the interaction sidebands
, we need to properly integrate over the spatial degrees of freedom of the lattice .
the characteristic harmonic oscillator frequencies @xmath129 ( @xmath130 ) of each lattice site vary smoothly with the position of the lattice site modifying the lamb - dicke and interaction parameters .
the variation of the trapping frequencies is obtained from the lattice potential @xmath131 where @xmath132 is the lattice spacing , @xmath13335 @xmath49 m is the beam waist , and @xmath134 and @xmath135 are the lattice depths .
we extract the characteristic harmonic oscillator frequencies of a given site by expanding the lattice potential at the center of it . assuming a uniform occupation of the sites in the center of the lattice
, we transform the spatial integration into an integration over the relevant range of trapping frequencies weighted by the number of sites with such trapping frequencies . for each set of trapping frequencies ,
a thermal average is carried out over both the harmonic oscillator modes and lattice vibrational modes .
this procedure is significantly simplified by noting that the main correction of the spatial average comes from the changes in the interaction terms .
thus , changes in the rabi frequencies are accounted for only by using an average value , allowing us to transform the integration over trapping frequencies into an integration over interaction strengths .
we have restricted so far our analysis to an effective one - dimensional system with at most two atoms per tube . for more than two atoms per tube
the spin model is no longer diagonal in the collective spin basis , since the spin hamiltonian is not su(2 ) symmetric .
this implies that for more than two atoms and outside the weakly interacting regime our calculations are not exact .
however , we have performed numerical calculations for up to five atoms per tube that show that the two - atom model can qualitatively predict the many - atom case , but with renormalized interaction parameters . in the 1-d lattice
there are two weakly confined directions and multiple atoms per lattice site . under these conditions , interaction - induced mode - changing collisions , which are not accounted for in our two - atom model @xcite , have to be included .
we have studied the role of those processes by numerical evaluation of a more general multi - mode hamiltonian and found that it mainly leads to a renormalization of the model parameters .
all of these considerations justify the validity of the two - atom model for the description of the 1-d lattice .
we use short ramsey pulses ( @xmath55ms ) to avoid interaction effects during the pulse .
however , for pulses shorter than the mean oscillation period in the trap , @xmath56 with @xmath57 the weakest trap direction , and laser - induced mode - changing collisions ( not included in the two - atom model ) are not necessarily suppressed . to explore the role of laser - induced mode - changing collisions , we measured the collision shift as function of excitation fraction in the 2-d lattice for various pulse durations .
as shown in figure [ fig4 ] , we varied the pulse time @xmath4 by one order of magnitude but found no substantial change in the measured shifts . thus we conclude that these processes do not play an important role . | arxiv |
Mass Effect 1. Chapter 1
**A/N: I do not own any of the characters, they belong to Bioware. I am a huge fan of mass effect and I (like so many others) felt the death of Thane Krios too much of a tragedy. I simply feel a great opportunity was missed…**
Sitting in his steel ice cold chair with his right ankle resting on his left knee; he exhaled smoke from his lips, then pressed the holographic button that was flashing green in front of him.
"Report, Mr. Leng," said the Illusive Man.
There was static on the other end, "It was Shepard and that Fucking Drell!"
The Illusive man sat up with clenched teeth and put out his cigarette. He reached out with both hands and began typing feverishly. Windows spun out of thin air: live security footage on the Citadel, past security footage during the attack, and a map which revealed Kai Leng's current location. "I see."
"You should have let me kill her when I had the chance! I got that Drell though," Kai said with a smirk.
The Illusive man paused for a short second at that and thought for a moment, "Krios, Thane?" The question was rhetorical; he had already brought up the footage of the fight between Kai and Thane. He watched everything in great detail, "Even with his illness he proved…formidable."
"He was nothing," he said with a hiss in voice.
The Illusive man rolled his eyes at the remark and continued his thought. "If I remember correctly from the recordings I got back from the Normandy…" His fingers continued to dance across the holographic keys before him and a new window popped up. It was live footage from inside the hospital and Shepard was there reading over the body of Thane with Kolyat. He watched the whole touching scene.
"Sir?" Kai interrupted.
"Shut up."
Once it was over he watched as Shepard walked out of the hospital and into the elevator. "She is trembling…lovers. Hmm, a chink in your armor, Shepard?" He tapped the windows and they vanished suddenly.
"Sir?" Kai interrupted again.
"You're still at the Citadel. That's good Mr. Leng, because I want you to pick up a package for me."
"Sir, the place is crawling," Kai said with his head down and his fists clenched in his lap.
"You will be picking it up while it is en route from the citadel to the Hanar home world." The Illusive man brought out another cigarette from the compartment built into the left arm of his chair. Sitting back and bring his ankle back up to rest on his knee, he lit the cigarette simply by bring it to his lips and taking a drag.
"Bring me the body of Thane Krios but don't hurt the boy if you can. I want Shepard to know who she is dealing with…"
**A/N: So this is my first entry and it's been a long time since I have written anything. I look forward to any reviews and comments. **
2. Chapter 2
**A/N: Sorry it took so long to punish this. I haven't had access to an editor so I hope it alright. I look forward to any and all comments. Thank you for reading and thanks to all those that have read and left comments!**
* * *
><p>Shepard entered the elevator and the doors shut swiftly behind her causing her long dark curls to flutter behind her. Alone in this small space away from the sounds of the wounded…away from the body of her beloved, she felt herself vibrating. She reached out to the wall and tried to hold herself up. Her stomach twisted and her hand slid down the cold steal wall rapidly until she was left siting on her knees.<p>
For the briefest of moments she remembered how cool his lips where against hers, as her full lips brushed against the wall. Quickly, she forced herself away from the way from the wall and was down on all fours.
"Not him…not now," she said in a half choked deep voice.
Tears started to puddle around her right fist when she realized his voice was going to be added to the shadows that haunt her dreams. _"Siha"_
Screaming, she shot up on her feet and started punching and kicking the walls; over and over again until her fists bled and her throat burned.
The elevator doors opened suddenly and she was met with c-sec guns pointed on her face. The elevator must have had some sort of alert go off. She was on the Purgatory floor?
"Stand down! Sorry Shepard we thought it may have been some leftover Cerberus troops." The c-sec officer looked at her with squinted eyes; he was confused. She appeared to have been in a fight; her hair was a far cry from regulation, her skin tight black bodysuit was ripped in several places, and her fists were bleeding.
Shepard's head was still down and her breathing was heavy. Still, she could tell the voice belonged to a turian and only three c-sec officers stood in front of her.
"Where were _you?_" she asked with distain in her voice.
Puzzled by the question the turian asked, "Ma'am?"
"Where were you, while the counselors were being hunted and attacked?" Her head slowly lifted and her fiery color eyes met his.
"We were-"
Without hesitation Shepard cloaked herself and rushed the human officer to her left. His arm was twisted and he fell to his knees. The gun in his hands quickly pushed up was pointed at his own face; the trigger slowly moving back to the handle.
"SHEPARD!"
Aria pushed through the officers and hit Shepard with a biotic shock wave that knocked her back into the elevator. She then looked back to the officers; (while Shepard slid down the wall and hit the floor with a thud) "You all saw nothing! Return to you duties and so help me goddess if anyone talks about this, I will have their heads!"
Shepard was back up while Aria walked into the elevator and using her omi-tool she shut the door.
"What the Fuck was that Shepard?"
"No, What the Fuck was that Aria? You got off your ass to come see me? I am honored!"
"Cut the shit! You were going to kill that man. You were going to piss away your Spector status along with any chance of taking down Cerberus and destroying the reapers. Why?"
There was a pause for a moment and Shepard rolled her eyes and shook her head, "No… I can't expect you or anyone in this whole fucking cycle to understand the shit I am in."
"Oh boo-fucking-hoo, Shepard! Your planet is being destroyed and you want to lose your shit and throw a fucking pity party? Hold on! Let me get my party hat!"
Within the blink of an eye, Shepard punched Aria in the gut with right fist and then smacked her down to the ground with the back of her left. "The son-of-a-bitch killed him. I got to watch the man I love get run threw by a fucking _sword?_ Who the fuck uses a sword?"
Gasping for air and coughing loudly, Aria tried to talk but Shepard had knocked the wind out of her.
"I got to watch while he wasn't just bleeding to death, he was choking, gasping, like you are now. The man could barely breathe while he was fighting that assassin. He could barely breathe while he and his son were praying for my soul! He could barely breathe…" she felt herself vibration again and her eyes welling up with hot tears.
Rolling onto her back Aria looked up at Shepard and breathlessly coughed out, "I am not your enemy, Shepard. I am sorry you lost what matters to you most, but he wouldn't want you to lose your way like this. If he gave a damn about you he would want you to live for him."
Shepard flopped down next to Aria and exhaled loudly. She couldn't bring herself to talk anymore. Aria turned her head to face her after a moment and smiled. "We need a drink."
Chuckling slightly at that, Shepard and helped Aria up on to her feet. Lifting her up as though she were a small child, Aria was suddenly light headed. "I don't think the bar is a good idea," Shepard replied while steadying Aria.
"No," Aria fired back and punched Shepard in the jaw.
Shepard's head barely moved from the impact and she smiled as she watched Aria's face turn to anguish.
"Hahaha, like punching a Krogan right?"
Aria shook her head and her hand, "Fuck, Shepard. We can go to my apartment."
* * *
><p>Later that night…<p>
Kolyat awoke to the sounds of the emergence alarm within his shuttle. Every inch of his body ached and his left eye was swollen shut. As he went to sit up, he groaned in pain. Several of his ribs had been broken but he was still able to breathe ok. "Computer…distress…signal…message begins. Shepard-" His eye felt heavy, as the room was suddenly spinning. "Shepard. It…was…Cerberus."
3. Chapter 3 The rescue
**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this out I have been working at my job, pulling in crazy overtime. **
**The Rescue
><strong>
_The ground was cold and hard; it felt good_. Shepard's eyes flickered open to the sight of the porcelain goddess. She reached up and took hold bathroom counter; lifting herself up onto her feet. Dizzy and feeling somewhat nauseous, she turned on the sink water and splashed cold water on her face. Within moments, her head was starting to clear. Cupping both her hands underneath the faucet, she began drinking the water slowly. After a few swallows she dropped the remaining water out of her hands and shut the water off. The sound of loud snoring was now audible from behind the bathroom door.
She opened the door and sunlight which was in the room now poured in at her. Quickly, she covered her eyes with her hand and groaned in pain. Slithering back into the darkness, like a vampire, she looks around finds her helmet in the bathtub, along with the rest of her armor. It took her twice as long to it all on; once it was she closed her visor. With her eyes now shielded, she walked back out of the bathroom.
The living room was huge and had little furniture in it at all. Aria either didn't come here often; or just she just didn't care enough to do anything with the space. Aria was curled up on the sofa in the center of the room. She looked peaceful, even happy almost, which was odd; considering how much she hated living on the Citadel. Shepard made sure to walk as lightly as she could, so not to disturb her.
Just then Shepard's Omi-tool lit up; alerting her that someone was trying to communicate. Shepard jogged out of Aria's room and then opened the channel for communication. "Shepard here," She said in a clear voice.
EDI voice came in loud and clear, "Shepard I have received an emergency distress call from a private shuttle." Shepard paused for a second; her head was still pounding and there was a ringing in her ears. The hangover was strong enough that all she wanted to do was lay down in her own bed. She moaned slightly, "Is it something c-sec can get to?"
"No. The signal came from much further away. I might not have caught it had it not been for Traynor. I am sending the message to you now," EDI reported.
There was some static and then the unique voice that only a Drell can produce, _"Shepard. It…was…Cerberus."_ Shepard's hangover be damned; she took off at a full sprint for an open shuttle. "EDI have Joker pull out of the docking bay, and open the shuttle bay doors. I'll be coming in hot." She jumped into the pilot's seat and punched with the door still open. _It had to have been Kolyat_, she thought. _But why, why would Cerberus attack him? Could it have been a mistake? Or was this assassin the cause?_ None of it made and sense to her but if Kolyat is hurt or worse…
Shepard made a hard landing the shuttle inside the Normandy shuttle bay and jumped out of the shuttle. James and Cortez jumped to attention, wondering if they should ready their weapons. Shepard just ran right by them both and into the elevator. Once inside she opened a channel to all of her crew mates, using her Omi-tool, "Joker! Shut the cargo bay doors and get me to that shuttle, like yesterday. Garrus, Liara, suit up and bring your helmets and mag boots just incase."
The elevator reached the command deck and she ran up to the bridge, right behind Joker. She got to watch as the ship came out of jump (or warp) and the shuttle appeared on the viewing screen. Shepard looked to EDI, "status report?" EDI quickly moved her hands over the holographic screen in front of her, "There is one life sign aboard, however it's very faint. Oxygen levels are extreme low. You will have to go now."
Commander Shepard ran to the airlock near the bridge, "Seal ship off and open the goddamn door." EDI waved her hands again and force field came up on both sides of the airlock and the door open. In a flash, Shepard was blown out of the Normandy and launching towards the shuttle. EDI sealed the Normandy back up, and then opened a channel so she and Shepard could continue to communicate. "Shepard, when you reach the shuttle I will override it systems and open the doors. The remaining air will be lost and you will have only minutes to get him aboard."
Joker waved his hands quickly and shook his head, "I got a better idea. Commander just get on that ship; I got this." EDI looked at him, "What are you thinking?" Joker smiled at her while still flipping the ship around and backing it into the shuttle. "Preparing to open shuttle bay doors, I will be able to limit the vacuum of space so that he does implode. But Shepard, there will be neither air nor gravity, " EDI reported to Shepard; as she had finally reached the shuttle.
Once aboard the shuttle, she found Koylat floating in zero gravity; he's hands were at his neck while he gasped silently for air. The image caused her to flash back to Thane struggling to breathe in his last moments. Tears flooded her eyes and she let out a gut-wrenching scream while jumping towards Koylat. Koylat failed around in her arms; fighting to breathe. "Joker! Please! Do something now!" _It was too much. She was holding Koylat close and all she could see was flashes of Thane instead. She was watching him die all over again; helpless to stop it. _"Thane…Thane Krios, you hold on. I am here. Please, hold on. Joker!"
The Normandy backed into the shuttle with docking bay doors open. Within moments, the shuttle was aboard the Normandy where the Doctor was already waiting. _The next 2hours were a living nightmare; Doctor Chakwas used every medical trick in the book, while all she could do was watch. Shepard wanted to reach for him but Garrus took hold of her and held her at bay. He was whispering something to her but she could hear him over her own screams. _Finally, Garrus took off her helmet and pulled her close to his chest, "IT'S NOT HIM!" _She stopped and looked up at Garrus. He looked: hurt, angry, and in love with her. She had never seen it before or prepares she didn't care to. The sight caused her to pull away while shaking her head. She didn't want to deal with this. Garrus was her friend, her rock, her adviser, not this. _
She looked back to Doctor Chakwas in time to see Koylat breathing again. "He is stable for now; I need him taken to the med bay for further study. Shepard I will let you know when he can have visitors. Please go and sort yourself out. You were screaming for me to save Thane the whole time." Shepard place took a step back in shock and realized her whole body was trembling. She cloaked herself with her omi-tool and ran off to her quarters. _She felt as though she was losing her mind and the one person she would confined in, Garrus, was not the man she knew. _
**A/N: The next Chapter is called Thane Awakening into Battle-sleep, it will deal a lot with T.I.M.'s experiments on him. So I needed to break the story here and get out of Shepard's head and heart. Thank you to everyone who has since their comments. I am hoping to have another chapter of Lust and Love soonish, while also working on this next chapter. **_
><em>
End file.
| fanfiction |
It's appropriate, especially given that this is the time of the year when high school seniors are opening acceptance packets and rejection letters from universities all around the world, to discuss the age old dilemma that many college applicants face: whether to be angular or well-rounded. Certainly it was the raging debate my high school classmates had when trying to sell themselves to colleges. They competed with each other for the most extracurricular activities (speech and debate, business club, sports, volunteering, music, arts, etc.) It became an arms race so ridiculous that we joked that to get into Stanford or the Ivy League, one had to be the captain of multiple sports teams, in student government, get > 4.0 GPA, have perfect SATs, and possess a "major" life accomplishment such as curing a major disease, starting a philanthropic organization, or winning one of the math/science Olympiads.
While being a modern Renaissance man (or woman) can be great for getting into these schools, and it certainly does make for a more interesting person, it's not a guarantee for finding employment. Employers are looking more for an expert in a particular area, or at most someone with two related and complementary skills.
Just think of it from this approach. If you're an employer looking at a candidate who has decent skills in finance, accounting, foreign affairs/diplomacy, programming, and photography, you may actually not want to hire that person. One worry is that by spreading him/her self out too thinly, the applicant may not truly be an "expert" in one particular area. Most jobs are defined by boundaries, specificity, and depth (you're *just* going to crunch numbers), and while breadth is helpful in the upper echelons of management and for insightful business strategists, very rarely do companies recognize that and actually try to hire for those spots. More likely they luck onto a candidate with that vision from hires for other positions. Furthermore, companies like cheap worker drones that fit into narrow holes. A candidate with a diverse skill set is more likely to get bored, leave, or demand higher pay.
Therefore, it's ok to have side dalliances and hobbies, but if you want to be a top worker bee and advance in a career, you'd better have a profession. Take for example the story of Urs Holzle. He was a pure computer scientist, and as such was able to push the boundaries of his own field, get hired at Google in a senior scientist position, and make bucketloads of money. If he had spent less time in his craft and more in say learning the violin to become "well-rounded" he may not have been as successful as he was.
As a last counterpoint, for those already on the well-rounded pathway, while you may not be the ideal workers, you are excellent entrepreneurs, possessing as you do the strategic thinking capabilities to integrate multiple fields and sense opportunities. Also important in the early days of a startup with limited manpower is the ability to fill and manage multiple business roles.
Warren Buffett says that today's crop of babies are the luckiest ever. This may be true in some respects – technological advancements have certainly improved the quality of life. Today's commoners live a life undreamed of by previous monarchs. However, in other respects, young people today have it harder than ever.
Check out the vesting options on your match in the 401K before you let that match influence what you do. My own Millennial daughter has worked at 3 places now with generous matches on paper. She has yet to get any of her matches to vest because they all have 3 year cliff vesting. She got laid off (in one case just before 3 years) before any of her matches vested.
That should be a wake-up call to today's 20/30-somethings. Were those terminations part of some evil, greedy attempt to cut corporate costs? Just the fact there was a long "cliff" should say something: corporate America is desperate to wash its hands of any responsibility for their employees' retirement.
That means: save, save, save your money. Retirement is in your hands, more than ever! Each dollar wasted on alcohol, pot, tattoos, new cell phones every year, data plans, new cars, bar tabs, trips to Mexico, music festivals, is actually ***two or three*** dollars you won't have for retirement.
That's the time value of money. Blowing money on toys and "experiences" early on in life, is what's killing the retirements of many a baby-boomer today. Forcing older boomers to reverse-mortgage their homes for money to live on.
Don't repeat your parents' mistakes.
With how perilously insecure jobs are today, it's more important than ever for young people to have multiple income streams. This means side gigs (e.g. Uber, independent tutoring, Etsy), monetizing resources (e.g. Airbnb), investment income (rental, stocks, bonds), and entrepreneurship (low cost digital startups). Without a diversified stream such as the above, we will fall prey to the whims of an unscrupulous employer who can can us at a moment's notice in the name of cost savings.
Feels good to be vindicated, yet again, or perhaps my own behaviour is not so uncommon but merely representative of the prevailing attitude of my generation. After all, it's "widely known" that Millennials value experiences over things.
Those of us who are involved in entrepreneurship recognize this. As the older generation dies out, Millennial preferences will increasingly drive profitable product lines. We see this in the traditional media, which initially resisted the move to digital (Napster was merely early) before eventually acquiescing (see: Hulu) to the tidal shift. Those that continue to resist (ESPN, Comcast) face declining revenues from cord cutters.
In general, being "light", mobile, portable, flexible, and catering to the customer's preferences for when, where, and how to consume something is the new name of the game. Amazon recognizes this. Old retail still tries to force someone to come into a brick and mortar store and be assailed by rude and unhelpful sales representatives. That's not a winning approach. | slim_pajama |
Aleksey Andreyevich Yakimenko ; born 31 October 1983 is a Russian sabre fencer, eight-time team world champion 2002, 2003, 2005, 2010, 2011, and 2013, 2015, 2016, eleven-time European champion team and individual, and team bronze medallist in the 2004 Summer Olympics. He won the Fencing World Cup series three times 200405, 200607, 201011, with fifteen titles to his name, and earned five gold medals in the Universiade.
Career
Yakimenko started fencing at the age of 7 in his hometown Barnaul under coach Aleksey Fitsev, a friend of his father's. He also practiced football and athletics, but fencing soon had his preference. Within two months of training he became champion of Altai Krai for his age group. At the age of 13 he moved to Moscow to train at MGFSO under national coach Aleksandr Filatov. In 2002 he won the silver medal and the team gold medal at the European Junior Championships in Conegliano and became double Junior World champion in Antalya. He was noted for his dazzling technique, sparkling physique and excellent coordination. These results caused him get selected into the senior national team at the age of 18.
Yakimenko's debut senior competition was the team event of the 2002 World Championships in Lisbon, where he won a gold medal together with Sergey Sharikov, Stanislav Pozdnyakov and Aleksey Frosin. He claimed his first individual medal at the 2003 European Championships in Bourges: his winning streak was interrupted only in the final by his captain, four-time Olympic champion Pozdnyakov. He came away with a silver medal, to which a team gold medal was added a few days later. He was defeated in the second round of the World Championships, but Russia retained his World title.
In the 200304 season Yakimenko climbed his first World Cup podium with a gold medal in Bonn, followed a few months later by a second place in the Nancy Grand Prix. He made his Olympic début in the team event of the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens along with Sharikov, Pozdnyakov, and Aleksey Dyachenko. Russia lost against Italy in the semi-final, but narrowly prevailed over the United States to earn the bronze medal.
20042008
The 200405 season saw Yakimenko win four World Cup events in Budapest, Moscow, Warsaw, and Thiès. He was stopped in the second round at the 2005 European Championships in Zalaegerszeg, like all his teammates. They took they revenge by winning the team event after overcoming Poland in the final. At the World Championships in Leipzig Yakimenko claimed his first individual World medal, a bronze, after being stopped in the semi-finals by Pozdnyakov. In the team event, Pozdnyakov's contribution allowed Russia to edge out Italy in the final and Yakimenko took his third team World title. With 280 points he became the second Russian after Pozdnyakov to win the World Cup in men's sabre. He also won the individual and team events at the 2005 Summer Universiade in Belgrade.
In the 200506 season Yakimenko won the Budapest, Moscow, and Santiago World Cups. At the 2006 European Championships in İzmir he edged past Romania's Florin Zalomir in the semi-finals, then defeated Ukraine's Volodymyr Lukashenko to earn his first European individual title. In the team event Yakimenko was trusted to close the matches, a role Pozdnyakov had fulfilled for ten years. Another change was the line-up of young Nikolay Kovalev. Russia were narrowly beaten by Romania in the semi-finals, but prevailed over Belarus to win the bronze medal. In the World Championships Yakimenko was defeated in the first round by Belarus' Aliaksandr Buikevich. Russia's director of fencing Sergey Kolganov attributed this below-par performance to overtraining and mental exhaustion after a long season. Yakimenko finished the season No.4.
Yakimenko climbed four World Cup podiums in the 200607 season, including victories in Tunis and Madrid. At the 2007 European Championships in Ghent, he prevailed over Pozdnyakov in the semi-finals, but he was defeated in the final by an unexpected Jorge Pina from Spain and was relegated to the silver medal. Pozdnyakov later commented that Yakimenko had underestimated the Spaniard. In the team event Yakimenko became the second most senior fencer of the team as national coach Boris Pisetsky brought young Veniamin Reshetnikov in the line-up. After a strong beginning in the semi-finals Russia were surprised by Ukraine's comeback. Yakimenko entered the piste on 3140 and managed 144 in his last bout to get his team to the final, where Russia crushed Belarus 4530, allowing him to claim his 5th European title in a row. Yakimenko earned his second gold medal in the 2007 Summer Universiade in Bangkok, as well as a bronze medal in the team event. In the World Championships at home in Saint-Petersburg, No.1 Yakimenko was defeated by Ukraine's Lukashenko, to whom he had never lost before. In the team event Russia were defeated by Hungary by a single hit in the first round and finished 5th. Yakimenko finished the season World No.1 for the second time of his career.
In the 200708 season Yakimenko earned two World Cup medals in Moscow and Warsaw. At the 2008 European Championships in Kiev he disposed of Olympic champion Mihai Covaliu in the semi-final and met in the final Belarus' Buikevich, who had stopped him in the first round of the 2006 Worlds. Yakimenko was defeated again and came away with the silver medal. In the team event Russia met France in the final. The match was much less close than previous encounters and Russia won 4529 to give Yakimenko his 6th team European title in a row.
Yakimenko took part in his second Olympics in Beijing. A favourite for the men's sabre event, he was defeated in the first round by his bête noire Aliaksandr Buikevich. His teammates did not fare any better. In the team event, No.3 seed Russia disposed of China in the quarter-final, then met the United States. After a difficult beginning by Russia, Yakimenko gave his team a 5-hit lead. Chosen to close the match, Pozdnyakov could not prevent Keeth Smart from closing the gap. Russia were finally defeated on 4445 after what they considered as a refereeing mistake. They fenced Italy for the bronze medal. Again, Yakimenko gave his team the lead after a good Italian start. Despite a 4442 position Pozdnyakov was overcome by Aldo Montano and Russia went home with no medal. Yakimenko finished the season No.16.
20082012
In the 200809 season Yakimenko began to work with new coach Christian Bauer, brought from China to replace Boris Pisetsky after the Beijing failure. Yakimenko also assumed the leadership of the team following Pozdnyakov's post-Olympic retirement. He earned two World Cup medals: a gold in Moscow and a silver in Dallas. In early July he took part in the 2009 Summer Universiade in Belgrade, but tore his Achilles tendon during his quarter-final against China's Zhong Man. He immediately underwent an operation in Belgrade, then another in Russia, and had to stay away from competition for several months.
Yakimenko resumed fencing for the Russian national championships in December 2009. He won the individual event, but created a scandal in the team event: during his team's semi-finals against Novosibirsk, he threw his mask on the piste out of frustration and received a black card. The Russian Fencing Federation suspended him for two months, effectively barring him from the first two stages of the World Cup. Upon his return Yakimenko took a quarter-final placing in the Plovdiv Grand Prix, followed in May by a bronze medal in Madrid. At the European Championships in Leipzig he defeated France's Boladé Apithy in the semi-finals, then Germany's Nicolas Limbach to win his second European gold medal. In the team event, Russia ceded 4544 to Ukraine in the semi-finals, then lost to Germany to come away with no medal. At the World Championships in Paris, Yakimenko was bested in the quarter-finals by Romania's Cosmin Hănceanu. In the team event, Russia crushed Romania in the semi-final and overcame Italy to win the gold medal. Yakimenko dedicated to coach Christian Bauer the victory, Russia's 100th medal in an international fencing competition. He finished the season No.8.
In the 201011 season Yakimenko took a medal in six out of seven World Cup events he attended, including two victories in Madrid, Warsaw, and New York. At the European Championships in Sheffield, he edged out Nicolas Limbach in the quarter-finals, then largely prevailed over Max Hartung to meet Boladé Apithy in the final. After an early 85 lead by Yakimenko, Apithy struck eight hits in a row. Yakimenko managed to break the Frenchman's attack and eventually vanquished 1514 to grab his third European title. In the team event, the Germans took their revenge by beating Russia 4535 in the semi-final. Russia then bested Romania to take the bronze medal. No.1 in world rankings, Yakimenko came to Catania for the 2011 World Fencing Championships as a favourite. After two easy first rounds he was beaten 1514 by Dmitri Lapkes of Belarus. In the team event, Russia dominated the competition and took home their second gold medal in a row. Yakimenko finished the season No.1 for the third time of his career.
The 201011 season brought him five podiums out of seven World Cup events, including a victory in Warsaw. He met small resistance in the individual event in claimed his third European title in a row. In the team event, Russia cruised to the final then prevailed 4542 over Romania to allow Yakimenko a gold double. Widely considered the favourite in the 2012 Summer Olympics, he was defeated by a single hit in the second round by Daryl Homer of the United States. The team event proved equally disappointing as top seed Russia were eliminated in the semi-finals by Romania, then lost again Italy and came home with no medal. You can be in great shape and lose commented Yakimenko, explaining that he had failed to cope with the pressure.
After the London Games
Yakimenko considered ending his career after the London fiasco and took a holiday in California to forget fencing and avoid the negative comments at home. During his stay in the United States he was deeply moved by a blog article from twice-Olympic champion Mariel Zagunis, explaining that she had received a lot of support despite her disappointing 4th place in London. The extension of national coach Christian Bauer's contract provided an anchor for him. Bauer's first decision was to rest Yakimenko from competition until May 2013, so he could recover mentally. A focus on his sport management studies at the Russian State University of Physical Education, Sport, Youth and Tourism also helped Yakimenko get past the Olympic disappointment.
A quarter-final in the 2013 Moscow World Cup was a good sign for the new season, but a sprained ankle during the Akropolis Cup in Athens caused him to miss the most of it. He was not fully recovered for the European Championships in Zagreb, but he managed to reach the final despite a difficult bout in the quarters against Italy's Diego Occhiuzzi. Defeated by Romania's Tiberiu Dolniceanu, he came away with a silver medal. In the team event, top seed Russia, further handicapped by Nikolay Kovalev's knee injury, suffered a shock defeat to Ukraine in the quarter-finals and finished 7th. Yakimenko later explained that the newly formed team was still in its running-in period and identified Andriy Yagodka's long arm as the main cause of their problems. He chose not to attend the 2013 Summer Universiade to preserve his form for the World Championships in Budapest. His ambitions were however cut short in the second round by Romania's Alin Badea. In the team event Russia prevailed over reigning Olympic champion South Korea, then defeated Romania to take the gold medal. Yakimenko finished the season No.16, his worst ranking since 200304, and was not selected for the 2013 World Combat Games in St-Petersburg.
The beginning of the 201314 season was difficult for Yakimenko: having dropped down to the No.17 spot, he no longer benefited from the Top-16 exemption and had to go through the qualifications phase in each World Cup competition. He bounced back in April with a bronze medal in Athens, followed by two bronzes in Chicago and Warsaw. In early June he was affected by the death of David Tyshler, one of Russia's greatest saberers and his personal supervisor at university. A few days later at the European Championships in Strasbourg, he defeated teammates Kamil Ibragimov and Veniamin Reshetnikov respectively in the semi-finals and in the final, to claim his fifth European individual title and his eleventh European medal. In the team event, Russia defeated Ukraine, then Belarus to meet Italy in the final. After a tight match Italy eventually prevailed 4544 and Russia were relegated to a silver medal. At the World Championships in Kazan, Yakimenko edged out Korea's Won Woo-young in the quarter-finals, but ceded to the latter teammate's Gu Bon-gil in the semi-finals. He came away with a bronze medal, his second individual World podium only. He declared himself very pleased with this result and dedicated his medal to his fiancée. The team event however fell short of expectations: top-seed Russia were overcome in the semi-finals by Germany, who eventually won the gold medal. Very upset with this defeat, Russia failed to regroup for the bronze medal match and lost 4543 against Hungary, coming home with no medal.
Yakimenko began the 201415 season with a bronze medal at the Budapest World Cup, after a defeat in the semifinals to Gu Bon-gil.
References
External links
archive
Alexey Yakimenko at the Russian Fencing Federation in English archive
Category:1983 births
Category:Living people
Category:Russian male fencers
Category:Russian sabre fencers
Category:Fencers at the 2004 Summer Olympics
Category:Fencers at the 2008 Summer Olympics
Category:Fencers at the 2012 Summer Olympics
Category:Fencers at the 2016 Summer Olympics
Category:Olympic fencers of Russia
Category:Olympic bronze medalists for Russia
Category:Olympic medalists in fencing
Category:Sportspeople from Barnaul
Category:Medalists at the 2004 Summer Olympics
Category:Universiade medalists in fencing
Category:Universiade gold medalists for Russia | wikipedia |
Pretty Rhythm/プリティーリズム 1. Game Plan
_Hello there, I hope I've caught your attention! This is my first story, so it might not be really good, but enjoy!_
_Warning: OOC and AU world. Some fans might not like this, and I'm really sorry for that._
* * *
><p><strong>Going Down<strong>
**Chapter 1**
**~Game Plan~**
* * *
><p>"And we are now introducing the all-time famous singer, Harune Aira!" A host called into his microphone, though his voice barely passed through the loud screaming of the crowd below him. Doors opened magnificently and a redhead walked out, her aura seemingly shimmering around her. The girl waved, and the audience screamed more, squealing something along the lines of 'Aira' and 'We love you'.<p>
"Sit, sit!" The host invited, gesturing to an empty swivel chair beside the one he was sitting at. Aira walked over to it, her heels clicking loudly against the smooth surface of the stage, and set herself down. She raised her head and waved once more, her cheeks tilted up into a friendly smile, causing a wave of screams and squeals to rise again. The host laughed into his microphone, extending a hand for Aira to shake. She gladly took it, flipping on one of her glamorous smiles. The host wasted no time once the crowd died down and asked questions almost immediately.
"So, Aira, what inspired you to become a singer?" He asked, and Aira raised her own microphone to her mouth. Her shoulder-length red hair that was twisted into a simple ponytail hung limply on her right shoulder as her equally red eyes fixed onto the host's, her perfectly manicured fingernails catching everyone's eye.
"Well … I guess, mother? She always wanted me to be a singer, plus I had the ability … so, why not?"
The host nodded appreciatively. "So … liking red, huh? Is that your favourite colour?"
Aira found herself smiling by herself. Red was her favourite colour, yes. And she made sure that it was obvious. Hence, Red nail-polish and Red outfit, along with Red lipstick. She nodded. "Yes! It represents me, I guess, fiery and passionate. I was often teased for my red hair and red eyes in elementary school so I hated the colour, but not anymore! It is now my signature colour, after pink."
"That's really great. Okay, last question. Dating yet?"
Aira bit her lip to stop a frown from invading her lips. "N-no." She hated that question, because her answer always made her sound so ... lonely. And besides, her manager won't let her date anyone in case it gets in the way of her idol career. "I don't want to get into a relationship with anyone at the moment, because I may have more problems and stress, like if my boyfriend would run away with another girl. ... At least, that's what normal girlfriends worry about?"
The crowd laughed, along with the host, who burst into a hearty chuckle. "Dating doesn't bring stress and problems, Aira ... it actually makes you happy. I have a wife myself, and I think my life would be incomplete without her." The crowd 'aww'ed, and Aira laughed a little just to be polite.
_You don't know how it's like to be an idol. Your life is perfect, but mine isn't._
"Okay, time is running out, and it is a culture," The crowd laughed again at this, "to end a show with a quote, or a promise from our guest! Harune, please?" He gestured his microphone to Aira.
Aira raised it slowly to her mouth again, her brain working furiously for a line. Finally, she found it. "One day, I'll find the perfect guy to date." The crowd cheered and the host whistled. "But," She added with an emphasis so that the audience with quiet down, "I don't believe in love." She turned to the camera and looked directly into it. "Make me." The crowd cheered and cat-called, while the host laughed once more and patted Aira lightly on the arm.
"Well said, Aira! Now our fanboys will be working hard! Thanks for watching our Idols' talk show!"
* * *
><p><em>Lies. All of them. Lies, lies, lies. Never the truth.<em>
Aira is sick. She is really sick of this whole mask, the mask of friendliness. Manager demanded that she act friendly onstage in case she scares off her fans. Seriously? Some fans like singers with 'mysterious' auras, Aira had argued. Perhaps more fans will come her way once she acts really cold and aloof. Of course, manager had not agreed. She protested more and literally _flung _Aira out from her office.
Her pocket vibrated. Aira whipped out her phone, and found forty-one new messages. Most of them were praises about how she did well on the talk show, but a certain message caught her eye. It was from manager, as usual. Maybe she said something wrong.
**Meet me at the office at ten. Quick.**
Aira shook her head, walking to the back entrance where an assistant and her limo would be waiting for her. She opened the door and soon enough, her personal assistant, Rizumu Amamiya, was standing there in her business suit. At the sight of Aira, Rizumu was bouncing with happiness. She grabbed Aira by the arm and began pulling her to the limo, where the doorman had the door open and ready for Aira.
"Oh, you were brilliant in that talk show!" Rizumu gushed, fanning her face with her hands. "Your demeanour, Aira, I think I've fallen in love with it! I mean, the way you started saying that you didn't believe in love, I think I felt a drip of blood trickle down from my nose! But ... what was that about love? I think you'll be in great trouble with manager? Oh look, you are. You are to be in her office at ten." Rizumu stopped babbling and pulled up her sleeve to check the time. "It's nine o' clock now ... we still have time! Hop on in!" Rizumu gestured to the door of the limo, where the doorman bowed on cue. Aira wordlessly stepped in before Rizumu did, and with a _click _and a start of the engine, the car swerved off into the night.
* * *
><p>Manager slammed her hands on the table, leaning in so she was face-to-face with Aira. "I thought we discussed this." Her voice was shaking slightly with anger and frustration. "You will 'fall in love' with a certain singer, real or fake, I don't care. And you're a friendly and kind singer. Do you know that the last few lines gave away your whole facade?" Manager hissed, her glasses slipping off her nose slightly. Manager straightened her composure and pushed her glasses back into place. Rizumu tilted her head, looking on curiously.<p>
"Is this some sort of rebellion, Aira?" Rizumu asked, her hazel eyes travelling to Aira and lingering, a faint smile on her lips like _good job. _Her orange hair that was tied into a messy bun was falling apart as she pressed her head against the wall. But Rizumu didn't seem to notice, or care.
Aira nodded slowly and hesitantly, wondering if she would be kicked out if she nodded. No worries, she assured herself, because there are plenty of companies out there who want her working for them. But she didn't need more public attention adding up to the large pile that is simply known as 'Aira's many worries and stresses' and provide her, well, more stress.
Manager actually _hissed, _like a snake. She eyed Aira with an equally 'snake-ish' glare, meaning that it was venomous. Aira stared right back, playing along with manager's game. "Aira. Please." Manager said in a calm voice that didn't go with her clenched fists or sharp breaths at all. "I need you to cooperate for just a month. Is it really _that _hard? Just ... for a while? Please, Aira. It's for your sake, my sake, the company's sake, everyone's sake. Please. I know how it feels."
_You don't know. Do you? No, you don't. You don't know anything. You all don't know. Nobody knows. Only _I _know, and it'll remain that way forever. Continue lying, but you won't know. What do you know? What do you _want _to know?_
"F-fine." Aira managed, averting her gaze to the floor. Rizumu tapped her heels on the floor, and the atmosphere was quiet and awkward until manager broke the silence.
"Aira ... you're going to go on a cruise with the famous singer, Shou Yoshida."
2. Bitter Feelings
**Going Down**
**Chapter 2**
**~Bitter Feelings~**
* * *
><p><em>"F-fine." Aira managed, averting her gaze to the floor. Rizumu tapped her heels on the floor, and the atmosphere was quiet and awkward until manager broke the silence. <em>
_"Aira ... you'll going to go on a cruise with the famous singer, Shou Yoshida."_
* * *
><p>Aira slammed her hands on the table and nearly shrieked in surprise, her eyes as wide as saucers. "What?" Behind her, Rizumu turned her body towards the wall as she attempted to muffle her crazy laughter behind her palm. In response to Aira's question, manager nodded albeit grimly and folded her arms, inspecting Aira as if wondering what she might do next.<p>
"I-I mean," coughed Aira, straightening herself and regaining her posture. She frowned, her eyes turning into tiny slits as she glared. "Is this true? The whole going-to-a-cruise-with-another-singer thing?"
Manager sighed. "Yes, Aira. And don't call him 'another singer', I think we are very certain that he's as famous as you."
Aira turned her head away from manager. It was true. Shou Yoshida was as famous as Aira Harune, and their battle to reach the top ranking of popularity was often seen on the newspaper. Aira has never seen Yoshida Shou in person before, though. She disliked everyone, especially those who snatched away her first place. Call her competitive, fine. But she had a bitter passion for singers and everyone in the entertainment world, because if they won over her, Aira might be fired by manager herself.
Manager cleared her throat, snapping Aira out from her reverie. "Do you accept, Aira? Do you accept this request to go on a cruise with your rival? Or do you deny, Aira? Do you deny the chance to bond with others, to actually win more fame?" Manager asked, giving Aira a choice. "But you can't decline, since that you don't have another choice. You can only accept, Aira. There is no other way. There is only one way. You know that."
Aira thinned her lips in displeasure. "There is only one way" was manager's motto. She'll remind Aira of that day, that horrid day, and that Aira must listen to her unless she wants to lose her job. Aira resisted the burning urge to snap manager's head into two and tried to push down the bile that was unpleasantly rising in her throat.
Unwillingly, she bobbed her head as a yes. "I ... I accept, manager. T-there's no other o-option, right?"
Rizumu's laughter ceased at once and she fixed on her usual bored expression when manager shot her a dangerous look. She coughed for attention and Aira whipped her head around, staring at her assistant. "So ..." Rizumu ventured, her eyes zooming from manager to Aira, and from Aira to manager. "... can I go?"
Manager laughed heartily, her brown hair flying into her face. She pushed the strands away and looked at Rizumu with a look of amusement. "Of course. You're her assistant after all, are you not?"
Rizumu jumped up in happiness and clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Great!" She smiled at Aira. "Aw, sweetie, drop the grumpy face! Let's go prepare your wonderful and fairytale-like meeting with Sho-" Rizumu stopped dead and looked at manager. "Err, when's their meeting? You know, to say hello and bond with each other and stuff."
Manger waved her hand. "No need for that if Aira doesn't like it." She looked at the redhead, raising an eyebrow. Aira shook her head robotically, her expression steel-like and void of all emotion. But only she knows, inside her confusing feelings were churning around her stomach and made her sick. Manager shrugged and looked at Rizumu pointedly. "No need for the meeting, Rizumu. I'll send the schedule for their trip so you can do the preparations."
"No." Aira spoke up, her head high in the air. "I wish to prepare by myself."
Manager examined her while Aira tried to tell what manager was thinking. "Very well," said she. "Aira will do her own preparations. Rizumu, you can back off for the time being." Aira inclined her head while Rizumu nodded with a cheery 'yes, sir!' and grinned. "You may go now."
At those words the two walked out, not before bowing respectively at manager. Throwing open the door, Rizumu dragged Aira out from the office, waving at manager happily. Once they stepped out from the door, Aira pushed Rizumu away gently.
"I-I want some private time." She stammered, hoping that Rizumu would buy it.
"Understandable," said the girl knowingly. "Go on, Aira. Sob your heart out." She patted Aira encouragingly - for what? - on the shoulder and walked off, glancing backwards several times. Aira stood there, waiting until Rizumu disappeared behind a corner and out of sight.
That's when she ran, weeping, back to her room in the office.
* * *
><p>After the meeting with Aira, manager picked up the phone and called for Shou to enter her office. She placed the phone into the receiver and cupped her chin, setting her elbow on the table. Her eyes held a faraway sadness, and she thought about Aira.<p>
Pretty girl, witty personality, good but unappreciated talent. Manager sighed and took a sip from her steaming cup of coffee. The steam fogged her glasses so she took them off, wiping them on her jacket. She remembered how helpless Aira was, standing there on the streets. If it weren't for her, Aira would be still - Manager shook her head.
_No, I will not think of that day anymore. For me, and for Aira._
A knock sounded from the door and manager instinctively fixed her face, sitting up. "Come in," called manager to the door. It opened, revealing a rather handsome male around fifteen to eighteen years old. Under the fluorescent lightbulbs, his brown hair turned to a shade of yellow-brown and his violet eyes sparkled prettily.
"You were looking for me, Manager Kyoko?"
"Shou, I have some news for you," said Manager.
"Let's hear it." Shou said casually, his hands in his pockets.
"You're going on a cruise with the famous singer, Harune Aira. You hear me?"
Shou nodded calmly. "The super-famous girl? The optimistic and cutesy one?" He inquired, raising an eyebrow. In her head, manager thought _no, she's not like that _but outside she nodded.
"You're taking this awfully calmly, Shou." Manager exhaled and took another sip of her coffee. "Unlike Aira."
Shou whistled, interested. "How about her?" He asked, interest coating his words. "How did she react? I mean, isn't this how we're supposed to react or something?"
Manager shrugged. "She freaked out. Completely."
Shou nodded but didn't press for information anymore. He tapped his shoes and whistled, before turning his attention back to manager. "So ... when's the cruise? Where are we going?"
Manager clicked her tongue. "I have not decided, Shou. But when I do, I'll send the schedule and everything you need to know to your assistant. You understand?"
Shou smiled. "Got'cha."
Manager heaved a weary sigh, like she had a great burden on her shoulders and had pushed it away. "You are now dismissed. Thank you, Shou."
Shou bowed in a gentleman fashion and sauntered off in high strides, shutting the door. Once he had exited, manager leant against her chair and took off her glasses, rubbing the sides of her nose. She placed her glasses back in place
* * *
><p>After removing all of her makeup and having a nice hot shower, Aira sat before her vanity and found herself staring into her reflection, her red eyes steadily becoming watery. She ducked her head down and banged her forehead against the hard wooden table. She felt a sore bruise growing painfully on the spot, but she did not care.<p>
Aira nibbled on her lips. She will not cry. She does not cry. She never cries. "I won't cry," said Aira to herself. "I don't cry. I never cry." With that, she wiped her eyes and headed to her bed, sinking in the warm covers. Aira sighed, staring at the turning fan. Soon, waves of drowsiness washed over her and she succumbed to sleep.
On the bed, Harune Aira fell into a disturbed dream.
* * *
><p>"Aira!"<p>
Aira blinked, having pulled away from her dreamless sleep. She sat up and stretched, blinking as the burning sunlight invaded her eyes. She tried to ignore the dancing black spots in her vision and turned to the caller, seeing a sea of bouncing orange hair. Glittering brown eyes stared back at her and Aira could see her own reflection in the innocent orbs of brown.
"R-Rizumu?" Aira yawned widely. "Why are you here?"
Rizumu squealed, having failed to contain her excitement, and shoved her phone into Aira's face. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and pulled her lips up into a happy smile. Rizumu was only wearing a simple hoodie and a pair of jeans, with her hair tied up in its usual messy bun. Aira took the device and rubbed her right eye. Once she read the message on the screen, she turned to Rizumu and quirked a delicate eyebrow.
"What's wrong with this message?" She asked, confused. Rizumu chuckled dreamily.
"It's the schedule ... the one for your awesome cruise ... you know, with Mr. Yoshida ..." She drooled, grasping her cheeks. Aira blinked once more, and last night's events came rushing back like a waterfall. She sighed and threw herself off the bed. "There's nothing we should be excited about," mumbled the redhead. "It's just a stupid cruise. Probably lasting for a few days, three days at most. I don't think that Yoshida Shou will be too thrilled to 'embark' on a cruise with the overly optimistic Harune Aira."
"I think you're cute." Rizumu piped up truthfully. "And nice."
Aira chuckled dryly and patted Rizumu on the head. "That, my dear, is only a mere mask. The true Aira is one you've never seen, the cruel and aloof Aira. Deal with it. I'm not nice at all, I'm more like a wolf in sheep's clothing. One day, I'll throw off my mask and you all will see my true self."
Rizumu gaped at her. "That was ... inspiring."
"Ambitions that will never come true," mumbled Aira distractedly. "After all, I'm bound to manager Kyoko."
* * *
><p>"Get ready for the cruise tomorrow, Aira, and be quick." Manager's words rang in Aira's head. She grunted in annoyance and turned off the shower. Droplets of water dripped down from the shower head and trickled down Aira's hair to her body. She sighed and got away from the shower, rubbing the water away from her body. She stood in front of the mirror and rubbed away the mist that was covering the glass. Immediately Aira saw her wet reflection in the mirror, her eyes bored and monotonous. Sighing, Aira threw on her shirt and jeans, walking out from the toilet.<p>
Rizumu was seating on a couch, playing with her phone. She looked up and waved at Aira, her eyes travelling down Aira's body as she checked out her outfit. "Hmm ... not exactly what I'd wear for a meeting with a super celebrity and my manager." Rizumu commented, but shrugged in agreement. "Still cool."
"I don't care about manager," said Aira. She picked up her phone and skimmed through her messages once more, reading the messages from yesterday night. "She's just an annoying goat who keeps forcing me into acting cheery and going on cruises with random people I don't even know."
"You know Shou," Rizumu muttered. "He's your rival. Like, literally."
"Nah." Aira said, waving off the statement. "I don't care about him, too."
Just as Rizumu opened her mouth to retort, her phone beeped and rang, playing a bubbly ringtone. Rizumu picked up the phone. "Hello? Manager?"
* * *
><p>"I think that, if I didn't call to remind you guys, you would've skipped this whole meeting." Manager said angrily, a vein popping in her temple. Rizumu bowed her head while Aira ran her fingers in her hair leisurely.<p>
"Not like you'll care anyway," Aira muttered under her breath and Rizumu elbowed her in the ribs.
"I'm here to give further details on your meeting with Shou, or your cruise with Shou." Manager announced, trying to avoid a argument between the two. Aira snapped her head to her and she could feel the teenager's eyes boring into her soul. But even so, she didn't flinch.
"And why should we know?" Aira spat mercilessly. "I don't think that you missed out anything in the message you sent us. Did she, Rizumu?" The girl asked her assistant, who shook her head quickly and fearfully. Aira turned to manager and glared. "So?"
Manager sighed. "Aira, meet Shou Yoshida." She mumbled, and the doors opened. A brunette was standing there, grinning widely.
"And so we meet, Harune Aira."
3. Always Like That
**Going Down**
**Chapter 3**
**~Always Like That~**
* * *
><p><em>Manager sighed. "Aira, meet Shou Yoshida." She mumbled, and the doors opened. A brunette was standing there, grinning widely.<em>
_"And so we meet, Harune Aira."_
* * *
><p>"W-what?" Aira stammered, shocked by the surprise meeting. She peered around and stared at manager pointedly, her eyes shooting telegraphic messages neither Rizumu nor Shou could decipher. Manager nodded quickly and mouthed out the words 'just do it already' to the frantic redhead, who sighed as a response.<p>
"Er, are you okay?" Shou asked, a few seconds after Aira's exasperated sigh. "You look ... nervous."
Aira laughed vibrantly, her hands pawing at the back of her head. "Aha-ha! Oh nah, I was just surprised. I mean, you know, it's kinda early in the morning, I woke up, phone call, came here, saw you ... and ..." Shou blinked at the blubbering girl and Rizumu chortled, while manager slapped her forehead into her hand. "Argh, never mind, Mr. Yoshida."
"O-okay ..." Shou muttered under his breath, his eyes gleaming amusedly. "So I think you know about this ... cruise thing? And you freaked out?"
Aira raised her head and gawked. "Er ... yeah?" She turned to manager and once again, the redhead glared openly at the brunette. Said brunette simply shrugged and spun away from Aira on her swivel chair. "I mean, no. Manager is lying."
Shou snickered. "You are interesting, you know? And as cute as they say." He commented casually, smiling. Aira felt her cheeks hot up and her brain screamed insults to this flirty and disgusting boy she now hated. A lot. "Ah, there's no need to be flustered."
Aira grinned awkwardly, her cheek twitching from the effort. "Haha ... yeah ... and ... yeah ..." Don't slap him, Aira told herself, don't slap this idiot.
Manager spun back into view and surveyed the scene: Rizumu doubling with silent laughter once more, Shou toothily grinning, Aira gritting her teeth and forcing her muscles into an (obviously) strained grin. Manager sighed and shook her head. Kids nowadays.
"Okay, Aira, you may exit the room now, I have some business with Shou here." Manager said, waving the girl off. Immediately she took off, rushing to the door and slamming it shut without a simply incline of her head. Rizumu blinked and straightened from her silent laughter, bowing and hurrying after the pop star.
Manager studied Shou. "You like her, Yoshida?"
The boy nodded, smiling. "You sure bet."
"That's good."
* * *
><p>Aira was fuming with anger as she stormed through the halls filled with people.<p>
And so manager called that 'giving further details about the cruise'. Bah. Rubbish, it was just meeting a totally flirty idiot and making Aira's temper rise to its extent. There wasn't anything about the cruise at all! And Rizumu - Aira wouldn't forget about the hyperactive girl, no - was not of any help at all. She simply guffawed in the background as she had in the last meeting, and didn't jump to Aira's aid as she was supposed to. Not like Aira would care if she did, though. But the one who throughly helped her ... it was manager. Oh wow.
Not that Aira didn't want to thank her boss, but it was so unexpected. She was one of the people who would most likely sit there and watch Aira suffer, along with Rizumu - who'd probably laugh. Again. But if manager was about to force Aira to put on that hateful mask in front of the arrogant Shou, she was afraid that one day, she'd snap and she'll throw a glass vase at him. Probably possible, if no Rizumu or manager was there to rein Aira in.
Clicking footsteps announced Rizumu's arrival, as she panted and grasped Aira's shoulder tightly for support. Aira turned sharply when Rizumu raised her head, and as a result two foreheads collided and the teenagers fell to the floor on their backsides, yelping shrilly in pain all the while. Soon Aira hoisted herself up and placed her hands on her hips, glaring at the orange-haired girl below her.
"What do you want, Rizumu?"
Rizumu pulled herself up slowly and rubbing her back, she looked at Aira. "Hey, Aira ..." groaned the girl in response. "Owch ... this hurts ..."
"What do you _want_, Rizumu?" Aira repeated, her glares hardening. Rizumu peered at her from one eye and winced.
"Looks like someone is on their bad mood today ..." The girl muttered and trudged away with heavy feet. "Never mind! I will tell you! Next time! Hey, that sorta rhymed ..."
Aira raised an eyebrow and walked over to Rizumu. With high strides, she took only a few seconds to catch up with the girl who was walking at a speed that even a tortoise could catch up to. Rizumu turned slowly, her eyes swarming with all kinds of emotions except for surprise, as if she wanted Aira to come.
"What did manager tell you?" Aira asked curiously, her tone a tad softer.
Rizumu grinned mischievously and leant in, whispering words into Aira's ear. When she pulled away, Aira was wearing a shell-shocked expression before she burst out -
"What?!"
* * *
><p>Shou walked leisurely around the office, his hands in his pockets. His phone nearly exploded from all of the messages he was getting, but Shou ignored it - he was used to his phone vibrating so frequently, anyway. He closed his eyes, stopping in his tracks with his head to the celling.<p>
"What?!"
Shou's eyes snapped open and he looked around, finding the source of the scream with ease which more precisely, was from the ever-cheery Harune Aira. With her eyes wide open and her mouth opening and closing rapidly, she looked like an owl and a goldfish combined together. Or something. With a grin, Shou strode over and leant down, grinning at the two girls.
"Hey."
Aira jumped, obviously surprised, and clung onto a chortling Rizumu for support. Her chest was heaving and she spluttered on her breaths, placing a hand on her chest as if calming herself down. Five seconds later she succeeded, and with a last breath her face became completely slack and bored, her jaw set fiercely. Rizumu waved jovially at Shou, not at all sensing Aira's anger.
"Hey," said Shou once more, trying to get Aira to say a simple 'hi' to him back - in which she replied with a monotonous blink.
"What," breathed Aira, saying the word slowly as if Shou was greatly annoying, "do you _want_?" Rizumu nudged her in the stomach with her elbow, but the redhead just bit her lip and stalked away.
"What was that?" Shou asked, his eyes following the stomping girl.
Rizumu shrugged. "She doesn't like ... err, people who scare her. I think. I don't know; Aira has random mood swings like a pregnant woman. She is unpredictable. Oh wait no, she gets angry a lot actually." Suddenly, she stopped her drawling with a gleam in her eyes. "Hey, how about you go ask her yourself?"
"What, why?"
Rizumu scowled, like the idea of Shou refusing unpleased her. "Well, because you made her angry?"
"That doesn't make sense. And according to you, she gets angry a lot, no? So I think that she'll cool down." Shou said, winding a strand of his hair on his finger. Rizumu pretended to blanch.
"Eww Mr. Yoshida, that's so ga-" A flying book interrupted her through mid-sentence and she collapsed to the ground. Behind her, an angry Aira was standing there with her hands on her hips.
"Don't cuss!" She chided, waving a finger threateningly before Rizumu's face. "Or I'll _fire _you and make Manager Kyoko my assistant instead." Aira paused and blinked. "Wait - that's actually good! I get to order my boss to make me coffee and fix my wardrobe, oh, _heaven _..."
"Wasn't she angry just now?" Shou muttered under his breath thoughtfully.
Rubbing her head as she got up, Rizumu managed a grin - though it came out as a grimace. "I told you that she had random mood swings. One of these days she should go for a test of something; I think that she really _is _pregnant." Aira shot daggers at her assistant from her eyes. "Err, no offence, Aira."
"It does not matter either way," said Aira lightheartedly, though her disapproving look was the opposite of her words. She turned around, her hair whipping out magnificently behind her, and shoved her way to the exit for the second time in an hour.
"Is she always like that?" Shou asked Rizumu questioningly, who spread her arms and shrugged then rushed off to Aira after waving a goodbye to Shou.
She didn't miss the look of amusement on Shou's face - though she knew that it was completely directed at Aira.
* * *
><p>Aira breathed heavily like an ox, shoving clothes messily into her trunk as a bemused Rizumu stood in a corner doing nothing but watching her boss take out her anger on her clothes.<p>
"Can't believe the nerve of that guy!" Aira hissed, clawing at her hair in frustration. "He's just _so _annoying, _so _full of himself, so, so, so -" at every 'so' she threw her tiny hands at her clothes, "- _argh!_" She shrieked, slamming the trunk shut with some of the clothes peeking out messily. Rizumu blinked, snapping out from her bewilderment and reached out to Aira._
><em>
"Here, Aira, let me help you -"
Aira slapped her hand away, roughly. "I don't need your help! I'm already freaking four- ugh!" She nearly stomped her foot in anger when she almost tripped over her clothes. "Ah, fine ... I'll repack it. I'll do it myself though," she added hastily when Rizumu rushed over to her side. "You're supposed to plan my schedule and all those stuff as my assistant. _Not _do my dirty work like a maid."
"But you look like you need help," said Rizumu sniffily. "And I could help you arrange it according to colours and stuff ..."
Aira snapped her blaring eyes to Rizumu. "_No,_" said the girl forcefully as she tipped her trunk upside down and pouring the contents over her head, "go fawn over that ... that infuriating guy or talk to manager Kyoko. I can manage." She brushed off the clothing on her head and began folding them neatly with shaking hands. "Yeah, and I could throw my stuff too -" Rizumu shot her a concerned look. "Ah, okay, fine ... I won't throw my stuff. I will pack them. See?" She gestured at the perfectly folded dress on her bed.
"If you say so ..." Rizumu murmured, inching towards the door slowly with Aira's eyes following her. "But call me if you need anything, okay?" She reminded, folding her index, middle and ring finger and putting it next to her ear.
"Yes, yes, mom. Now go away."
"Someone's grumpy today," Rizumu grumbled and closed the door silently. Once she was gone, Aira sighed and leant against her bed, closing her eyes.
Opening the crimson orbs the girl attempted to fold her clothes without fuming or thinking about the guy.
* * *
><p>"Yo, manager!" Rizumu chirped happily as she pulled out a chair to seat next to the older brunette.<p>
Said brunette looked up from her tablet and tilted her head at Rizumu. "Anything, Rizumu? Aira chased you out? Aira throwing fits? Aira mad at Shou?"
Rizumu laughed. "You guessed right, Pres." Manager Kyoko was often known as Manager Asechi, though her co-workers and the stars closer to her call her either President Asechi or Manager Kyoko. "I also have something to ask you as well."
Manager Kyoko tilted her head politely. "Shoot away, Rizumu."
"Ah, the thing is ..." she leant in and whispered into manager's ear, "why are you forcing Aira to do this? You know - whenever you force her to do something she loathes, a big Aira tantrum would be thrown and the results were never pretty. And Mr. Yoshida, too. He keeps annoying Aira by his smirks, no offence to him."
Manager Kyoko shrugged. "You've been working with Aira for a jolly long time, Rizumu - I think you know what is the cause for her personality." Rizumu nodded curtly as a response. "Well ... the part about her interacting with the others was true, but I also want her to fall for Shou here - or Mr. Yoshida as you call him. Why? You ask? It's not only for her own good, Rizumu, and we need her to let out those bottled feelings. The other reason for doing so ... well, I can't tell you now."
Rizumu snorted. "Mr. Yoshida has already fallen for her, Pres. And the Aira-falling-in-love-with-another-dude-she-hates thing is impossible. Admit it, manager Kyoko. And in Aira's eyes, Mr. Yoshida sucks."
Manager Kyoko wrinkled her nose in displeasure. "I would rather hear you call him Shou, Rizumu. Cut the formalities; he's had a full conversation with you and you're still calling him Mr. Yoshida. Seriously, Rizumu?"
The girl only spread out her arms and shrugged, pressing her lips together with her eyebrows raised. "Nothin' I can do. I'm just paying him respect, goodness! Were you always this uptight, Pres?"
Manager Kyoko frowned down at Rizumu. "You keep that attitude up and I'll fire you, Rizumu."
"But you said that a couple of times before, pre-"
Manager Kyoko slammed her hands down on the table. "That's it! From today onwards, you will be banned for ... emm, as long as the cruise continues. You will be calling me 'Boss Kyoko', Aira 'Boss Aira', and Shou 'Boss Shou'. You hear me, Rizumu?"
Rizumu only snickered. "Yeah, of course. Cool names, Boss Aira especially." She mimicked a salute. "Yes, sir! I mean, err, Boss Kyoko! Hey Boss, can I call you Sir?" She asked, her brown eyes twinkling pleadingly. "Please? It's so cool!"
Manager Kyoko peered down at those puppy dog eyes and sighed, giving in. "Fine ... don't blurt out what I told you to Aira, though."
"Yes, Sir Kyoko!"
* * *
><p>"I am done," declared the redhead proudly. "I have done it without throwing a vase. Just pillows. I am awesome."<p>
By her feet was a particularly large trunk, a handle pulled out and the wheels covered in plastic. Her bed was messed up, the covers and blankets crumpled up into one big heap as if Aira spent her time rolling in it. By the dressing table opposite the bed, a few pillows lay on the floor. Aira herself was in no better condition: she looked completely dishevelled, her hair all over her face and an uncharacteristically happy grin on her pale lips.
"_And _I'm not even angry anymore! How cool is that?" She told the air, her hands on her hips. "I am just so awesome, oh my goodness me." Then Aira tapped her chin. "I wonder where's Rizumu ... she took a long time ..."
As if on cue, Rizumu burst in from the supposedly-locked door. "I am back with doughnuts and coffee- oh my gawd Aira, what in the name of Pete happened to you?!" She screamed her finger shaking violently. "Are you grinning? Oh goodness, Aira is grinning! Do you have a fever?"
Aira shrugged, running a finger through her hair. "Nah. Just threw a couple of fits," she gestured at her messy room, "and feeling better now. I probably need a nice cold shower now. Oh, and Rizumu?"
"Hm?"
"The chocolate and strawberry doughnuts are mine."
"Aye ye, Boss Aira!"
Aira stepped into the toilet and disappeared from Rizumu's view. The girl eventually got bored of Aira's room and settle with helping her to tidy up the bed and place the pillows back into place, trembling a little when she visualised Aira shrieking at her. Not long later when Rizumu was tapping away at her touchscreen phone, Aira emerged from the toilet wearing a clean white shirt and jeans.
Rizumu looked up from her phone and waved. "Hi, Boss Aira. Nice to see you fresh and clean."
Aira waved and looked around the room, seemingly searching for the doughnuts Rizumu mentioned earlier. "Hey Rizumu, where are the doughnuts?" The girl pointed to a particularly large paper box with the logo of the doughnut shop printed on the cover. Aira went over to it and opened it, fishing out a plate and a set of cutlery from thin air and taking out two doughnuts, placing them neatly on her plate. She looked at her assistant. "Hey, you want a bite, too?"
Rizumu shook her head. "Nah, I'll just have a nibble a little later." Aira nodded and immediately started wolfing down her doughnuts. "You are hungry," remarked the girl to which Aira replied with a simple nod. "You're making me hungry too." Aira scooted to the other side, leaving a nice empty space for Rizumu.
"Fere," she managed, her voice muffled from her full mouth. "Shet."
Rizumu chuckled. "You sounded like you cursed, Boss Aira." Aira glared at her and she zipped her mouth shut, heading to get a plate of her own.
* * *
><p>"Manager Kyoko, you know perfectly well that Aira falling for me is impossible, literally." Shou complained, leaning back in his seat. "I mean, look at her. She's an ice queen."<p>
"Meh," drawled his manager as a response, "I don't care. Figure it out by yourself."
"And ... if I don't?" Shou ventured nervously, leaning forward in his seat.
"Then I fire you," snapped manager Kyoko.
Shou gulped and nodded nervously. "Can you guarantee that she'll love anyone in general?"
"Oh, yes," said manager Kyoko. "She loves Rizumu as a sister, though she doesn't show it much. She loves her family, though she doesn't show it much." She turned to look at Shou over her paper cup. "She hates you as a rival, and she shows it."
"That wasn't helpful at all." Shou muttered.
"Not like I care!" Manager Kyoko exhaled, stretching her arms into the air.
"Can you guarantee that she won't hit me with a couch?"
Manager Kyoko grinned, albeit cheekily. "That, no. Aira has unbelievable strength when she's angry. The last time it happened, we had to chain her to prevent her from throwing the bully over the balcony."
"Bully?"
"Yeah, the one that bullied Rizumu." Manager Kyoko took a sip out from her coffee. "She gets bullied a lot in school you know, Rizumu. But she's strong at it. Actually it's mostly her fault, since Rizumu has a ... well, big mouth."
"Oh wow." Shou commented. "I guess she isn't that fierce."
Manager Kyoko shrugged. "It's sorta nice having her there as a friend, you know, it's like having a friendly personal bodyguard or something."
* * *
><p>"Hey, Boss Aira, what do you think about Boss Shou?" Rizumu asked over their snack of doughnuts and hot chocolates.<p>
Aira flinched at the question, almost spilling her hot chocolate. "I hate him. Infuriating, stuck up brat."
Rizumu pressed her lips together. "Well, Boss Aira, you can't keep that attitude up much longer. You know - Boss Shou is going to go on a long-term cruise with you and you can't really hate him throughout the whole trip, can you? You'll probably throw a plate or a stuffed turkey at him."
"I wish I could," Aira muttered under her breath.
"And he's _friendly_," Rizumu continued, placing the emphasis on the word 'friendly'. "And awesome. But you're better, Boss Aira, of course."
Was it just Rizumu's eyes, or did Aira's chest swell with pride? "I know. Thank you. I am, of course, better than him in every way. Whether be it popularity, studies or even attitude, I will win over him."
"Err, Boss Aira, don't you think that you sound a little ... err, proud?"
Aira sniffed, taking a large gulp of her hot chocolate. "Nah."
"Are you sure that you _really _hate him?" Rizumu asked sceptically, her eyes narrowed into thin slits like a snake. "You rarely hate anyone - the furthest you went was just pure dislike."
"Which equals to hate," snapped Aira. "Literally the same thing."
"No, no," corrected Rizumu with a wave of her finger, "hate is a strong word. Like, erm, Love and Like! You know ..."
Aira sniffed and closed her eyes, drinking her chocolate once more. "Ah, whatever. Fine - I dislike him. I loathe him. Not hate."
"Loathe and hate is almost the same thing, Boss Aira." Rizumu reprimanded.
"Dislike and loathe is almost the same thing, Assistant Rizumu." Aira retorted.
"Boss Aira, you're cheeky."
"Ah, shut up."
* * *
><p>"And the day has came!" Rizumu shrieked, the cool April wind whipping through her hair refreshingly. "We are going to have <em>so <em>much fun! Yoo hoo!"
"Rizumu, stop the racket." Aira mumbled, pushing her sunglasses up to see the view. "It's pretty ..."
"I know, yeah, Boss Aira?"
The blue ocean sparkled and glittered under the warm sunlight and blinded Aira's eyes. The sky was a clear blue as well, dotted with clouds. The sun shone down from fluffy clouds and the wind was cooling, blowing through their dresses and hats. Rizumu was running around like a little child, her arms spread open and her sundress fluttering below her while manager Kyoko was ticking off something on a book. A man was loading their luggage onto the ship and Shou was nowhere to be seen.
Good, Aira told herself happily, it's best if he was sick and Aira could be alone. In her room. Playing her phone. Being anti-social.
Too bad for her, Shou walked into view, a basket in his hands. He was wearing a simple shirt and jeans with sneakers. "Yo, guys!" He called, gaining everyone's attention. "I got us a picnic basket!"
"What." Aira said aloud, her eye twitching. "How horribly gross is that-"
Rizumu clamped her soft hand on Aira's mouth swiftly. "Ah, Boss Shou! Thanks! I'm sure Boss Aira here would like it, yeah, Boss Aira?"
Shou frowned. "Err, why are you calling everyone 'boss'?" He looked at Aira. "Didn't you notice?"
Aira shook her head. Rizumu called her weird names the whole time and Aira didn't even care if Rizumu called her 'sweetheart' or 'honey' anymore. In fact, the girl has started to give her pet names and cutesy nicknames that didn't suit Aira at all. "No."
"Boss Kyoko over there," Rizumu pointed at the woman with her free hand, "ordered me to. For the whole cruise. I am banned."
"Served you right!" Manager Kyoko called over the wind, her hair flying around everywhere prettily. Aira had to admit, her manager had the times when she looked like she ought to work as a model instead of a crappy manager that was quite annoying at times. In fact, the woman was so pretty she could make a shirt and pants look wonderful.
Aira looked down at her own outfit. Blue cardigan over a white dress. Not the ideal choice to look like a famous star, she told herself.
Rizumu prodded Aira in the arm hardly and tilted her head to the ship. "It's time to board the ship, Aira."
Aira sighed and strode up the path with a squealing Rizumu, a serious-looking manager and an annoying Shou behind her. Before her the white and beautiful ship seemed like a Hell filled with dread. Aira exhaled from her mouth and boarded the ship, her heels clacking loudly against the wooden boards.
"Here we go ..." The pale, redhead girl muttered under her breath. Rizumu who caught it, couldn't help but grin sadistically at Aira's discomfort. She placed a hand on the girl's shoulder and leant it so that her mouth was the same level with Aira's ear.
"Trust me, you'll like him." She said for the second time, and Aira tried to bite in the 'what?!' she almost screamed, just like the day before in the office.
* * *
><p><em>Yeah, Rizumu said that Aira'd like Shou in the office, too ... oh, and, I'm taking in OC's for Shou's assistant! Also, please review and give some feedback! I appreciate the follows and favourites you give me, but seriously, I'm not really sure what my readers like to read. So, please?<em>
_Thank you!_
_OC Submission Form:_
_Name: (Nicknames are also allowed, but please specify before typing in the nickname)_
_Gender:_
_Age: (Not too old or young; around seventeen to twenty and such, preferably younger than eighteen)_
_Personality: (No Mary-Sues or Gary-Stues, thanks!)_
_Likes and Dislikes: _
_Appearance: (Not too exotic)_
_Hobbies:_
_Favourites: (ex. Food, Drinks, Books, etc.)_
_Special Talent: (ex. Singing, Dancing, Swimming, etc.)_
_Crush: (Optional) _
_You could also add whatever you like into the form, too, if you want to. Thank you! Oh, and if you have the time - please leave some feedback!_
_-Mint_
End file.
| fanfiction |
MAX G STRIAR -- OBITUARY
BANGOR and BOCA ROTAN, Fla. – Max G. Striar, 73 beloved husband of Ruth (Mamolen) Striar of Boca Raton and Bangor, died Dec. 23, 1990 at his home at 3000 South Ocean Blvd. Boca Raton, Fla. Max was a well-known textile manufacturer and philanthropist who was born in Bangor Jan. 19, 1917, the son of James and Sarah (Scheenbaum) Striar. He attended Bangor High School, Class of 1935, Boston University College of Business Administration, and the Lowell Textile Institute. He served as a sergeant in the United States Army Mechanized Cavalry in World War II, beginning in 1943, and received the Presidential Unit Citation, Purple Heart and area Combat Stars. He was president of the following companies: Eastland Woolen Mill Inc., the Basin Mills Inc.; and Skiland Woolen Mill Inc.; and a partner in the following: Striar Textile Mill, Skiland Woolen Mill, and the Mylan Co.; and was a trustee of the James Striar Family Foundation, He served on the boards of directors of national Corp., and the former Newport Trust Co. He was a member of the board of directors and executive committee of the former Depositors Trust Cos. of Augusta and Bangor, of Key Bank of Central Maine and Key Bank of Eastern Maine. He was a member of the board of directors of Dexter Hospital and was founder, chairman, of board of directors and president of the board of trustees of the Hebrew Academy of Bangor for 25 years. He was a founder of Yeshiva University, New York, founder and creator of the James Striar School at Yeshiva University with his brothers, the late Louis and Bernard Striar. He was a past vice president and director of the Jewish Community Council of Bangor and member of the Endowment Fund Committee of the Jewish Community Center, and a past member at large of the Lions Club of Corinna. He was a member of B'nai B'rith, Zionist Organization of America, American Jewish Congress, War Veterans, Beth Abraham and Beth Israel synagogues. He enjoyed fishing, boating, numismatics, and was a fund-raiser for many years for community and national charitable organizations, acting as chairman on a number of these committees. Surviving, in addition to his beloved wife, Ruth (Mamolen) Striar of Boca Raton, Fla., and Bangor, are a son and daughter-in-law, Steven E. and Charlotte M. Striar of Bangor; a daughter and son-in-law, Jo-Ann and Jerome S. Kirstein of Bangor; a stepson, Louis Gotlib of Durham, N.C.; two step-daughters, Marcia Gotlib of Sonoma, Calif., and Debra Gotlib of Portland. He was a devoted grandfather of five grandchildren. Also surviving are two sisters, Mildred Kominsky of Bangor and Slyvia Menaker of Baltimore, Md., several nieces and nephews. He was predeceased by two brothers, Louis and Bernard Striar.
: Max G Striar Ruth Mamolen Striar James Striar SarahScheenbaum Striar ; Louis Striar Bernard Striar Steven Striar Charlotte Striar Jo-Ann Striar Kirstein Jerome Kirstein Louis Gotlib ;
: Marcia Gotlib ; Debra Gotlib ; Mildred Striar Kominsky ; Sylvia Striar Menaker ;
Bangor High School ; Boston University College of Business Administration ; Lowell Textile Institute ; United States Army ; Eastland Woolen Mill ; Basin Mills Inc. ; Skiland Woolen Mill Inc. ; Striar Textile Mill ; Mylan Company ; James Striar Family Foundation ; Newport Trust Company ; Depositors Trust Company ; Key Bank of Central Maine ; Key Bank of Eastern Maine ; Dexter Hospital ; Hebrew Academy of Bangor ; Yeshiva University ; James Striar School at Yeshiva University ; Jewish Community Council of Bangor ; Jewish Community Center ; Lions Club of Corinna ; B'nai B'rith ; Zionist Organization of America ; American Jewish Congress ; Jewish War Veterans ; Beth Abraham Synagogue ; Beth Israel Synagogue ; | slim_pajama |
in @xmath1 collision experiments , we can measure the spin - independent and spin - dependent structure functions , @xmath2 and @xmath3 , of the virtual photon ( fig.1 ) .
collision.,width=188,height=188 ] the advantage in studying the virtual photon target is that , in the case @xmath4 where @xmath5 ( @xmath6 ) is the mass squared of the probe ( target ) photon , and @xmath7 is the qcd scale parameter , we can calculate the whole structure function up to the next - to - leading order ( nlo ) by the perturbative method , in contrast to the case of the real photon target where in nlo there exist non - perturbative pieces .
the nlo analyses of the virtual photon structure functions , @xmath8 and @xmath9 , have been made by uematsu and walsh @xcite and the present authors @xcite , respectively . in this talk
we will report the result of our investigation of the parton distribution functions ( pdf s ) in the virtual photon target .
the behaviors of the pdf s can be predicted entirely up to nlo , but they are factorization - scheme - dependent .
we carry out our analysis for the pdf s of polarized and unpolarized virtual photon in several different factorization schemes , and see how the pdf s change in each scheme .
we write down below the expressions for the polarized case . the expressions for the unpolarized case
are easily obtained from the corresponding ones in the polarized case by removing the symble @xmath10 and replacing @xmath9 with @xmath11 .
let @xmath12(@xmath13 ) , @xmath14 , @xmath15 be the flavor singlet ( non - singlet)-quark , gluon , and photon distribution functions , respectively , in the longitudinally polarized virtual photon with mass @xmath6 . in the leading order of the electromagnetic coupling constant , @xmath16 , @xmath15 does not evolve with @xmath17 and is set to be @xmath18 . in terms of the mellin moments of these pdf s
, the moment of the polarized virtual photon structure function @xmath3 is expressed in the qcd improved parton model as @xmath19 where @xmath20 and @xmath21(@xmath22 ) , @xmath23 , and @xmath24 are the moments of the coefficient functions corresponding to singlet(non - singlet)-quark , gluon , and photon , respectively , and they are independent of @xmath25 .
the pdf s @xmath26 satisfy inhomogeneous evolution equations .
the explicit expressions of @xmath27 , @xmath28 , and @xmath29 up to the nlo are derived from eq.(4.46 ) of ref.@xcite .
they are given in terms of one-(two- ) loop hadronic anomalous dimensions @xmath30
( @xmath31 ) ( @xmath32 ) and @xmath33 ( @xmath34 ) , one-(two- ) loop anomalous dimensions @xmath35 ( @xmath36 ) ( @xmath37 ) which represent the mixing between photon and three hadronic operators @xmath38 ( @xmath39 ) , and finally @xmath40 , the one - loop photon matrix elements of these hadronic operators renormalized at @xmath41 , @xmath42
although @xmath9 is a physical quantity and thus unique , there remains a freedom in the factorization of @xmath9 into @xmath43 and @xmath26 . given the formula eq.([gonegamma ] )
, we can always redefine @xmath43 and @xmath26 as follows @xcite : @xmath44 where @xmath45 and @xmath46 correspond to the quantities in a new factorization scheme-@xmath47 .
the most general form of a transformation for the coefficient functions in one - loop order , from @xmath48 scheme to a new factorization scheme-@xmath47 , is given by @xmath49 where @xmath50 , @xmath51 , with @xmath52 being the number of flavors of active quarks and @xmath53 being the electric charge of @xmath54-flavor - quark .
once the relations ( [ coeffgamma ] ) between the coefficient functions in the @xmath47-scheme and @xmath48 scheme are given , we can derive corresponding transformation rules @xcite from @xmath48 scheme to @xmath47-scheme for the relevant two - loop anomalous dimensions and also for the one - loop photon matrix elements , @xmath55 and @xmath56 , of the quark operators . note that , in one - loop order , the photon matrix elements of gluonic operators @xmath57 vanish in any scheme , @xmath58 .
we consider three different factorization schemes both in the polarized and unpolarized cases .
\(i ) [ the @xmath48 scheme ] this is the only scheme in which both relevant one - loop coefficient functions and two - loop anomalous dimensions @xcite were actually calculated . in the @xmath59 scheme ,
the qcd ( qed ) axial anomaly resides in the quark distributions and not in the gluon ( photon ) coefficient function@xcite .
in fact we observe @xmath60 also the first moment of the one - loop photon matrix element of quark operators gains the non - zero values , i.e. , @xmath61 which is due to the qed axial anomaly .
\(ii ) [ the chirally invariant ( ci ) scheme ] in this scheme the factorization of the photon - gluon ( photon - photon ) cross section into the hard and soft parts is made so that chiral symmetry is respected and all the anomaly effects are absorbed into the gluon ( photon ) coefficient function@xcite .
thus the spin - dependent quark distributions in the ci scheme are anomaly - free .
in particular , we have @xmath62 the transformation from the @xmath48 scheme to the ci scheme is achieved by @xmath63 \(iii ) [ the off - shell ( os ) scheme ] in this scheme @xcite we renormalize operators while keeping the incoming particle off - shell , @xmath64 , so that at renormalization ( factorization ) point @xmath65 , the finite terms vanish .
this is exactly the same as the momentum subtraction scheme " which was used some time ago to calculate , for instance , the polarized quark and gluon coefficient functions @xcite .
the ci - relations in eq.([cilike ] ) also hold in the os scheme .
the transformation from @xmath66 to the os scheme is made by choosing @xmath67 ^ 2 + 3s_2(n)- s_1(n)\bigl(\frac{1}{n}- \frac{1}{(n+1 ) } \bigr ) \nonumber \\ & & \hspace{-0.6cm}\quad -\frac{7}{2 } + \frac{2}{n } -\frac{3}{n+1}-\frac{1}{n^2}+\frac{2}{(n+1)^2}\biggr\ } \\ & & \hspace{-0.6 cm } \delta z_{{\rm os}}(n)=\delta { \hat z}_{{\rm os}}(n ) \nonumber\\ & & \hspace{-0.6 cm } = n_f\biggl\ { -\frac{n-1}{n(n+1)}s_1(n)+ \frac{1}{n } + \frac{1}{n^2}-\frac{4}{(n+1)^2 } \biggr\}~.\nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] it is noted that in the os scheme we have @xmath68 for all @xmath69 . to study the pdf s inside unpolarized virtual photon , we consider three factorization schemes : ( i ) the @xmath48 scheme ; ( ii ) the off - shell ( os ) scheme ; and ( iii ) the @xmath70 scheme .
the transformation from @xmath48 to the os scheme is achieved by @xmath71 the @xmath70 was introduced @xcite some time ago for the analysis of the unpolarized real photon structure function @xmath72 in nlo . in this scheme
the direct - photon contribution to @xmath8 is absorbed into the photonic quark distributions , so that we take @xmath73 with these preparations , we now examine the factorization scheme dependence of the pdf s in virtual photon .
the first moments of polarized pdf s are particularly interesting due to their relevance to the axial anomaly @xcite .
> from now on we omit to write the explicit @xmath17- and @xmath25-dependeces in @xmath75 , @xmath76 , @xmath14 and in their unpolarized counterparts . for the ci and os factorization schemes
, we have @xmath77 where @xmath78 . these schemes ,
therefore , give the same first moments for the pdf s .
in fact , we find @xmath79 and this leads to @xmath80 up to nlo .
in these schemes , the axial anomaly effects are transfered to the gluon and photon coefficient functions . on the other hand , in the @xmath48 scheme
the axial anomaly effects are retained in the quark distributions .
in fact we obtain for singlet quark pdf , for example , @xmath81\nonumber \\ & & \qquad \times \left\{1-\frac{2}{\beta_0}\frac{\alpha_s(p^2)-\alpha_s(q^2)}{\pi } n_f\right\}~. \label{qsms}\end{aligned}\ ] ] the factor @xmath82 $ ] is related to the qed axial anomaly and the term @xmath83 is coming from the qcd axial anomaly @xcite . for gluon distribution , we obtain in nlo @xmath84 the same result for @xmath48 , ci and os schemes .
the behaviors of pdf s near @xmath85 are governed by the large-@xmath69 limit of those moments .
the pdf s in lo are factorization - scheme independent . for large @xmath69 , @xmath86 and
@xmath87 behave as @xmath88 , while @xmath89 . thus in @xmath0 space , the pdf s vanish for @xmath90 .
in fact we find @xmath91 the behaviors of @xmath92 for @xmath90 , both in lo and nlo , are always given by the corresponding expressions for @xmath93 with replacement of the charge factor @xmath94 with @xmath95 . from analysis of the large @xmath69 behaviors for the moments of the nlo pdf s in the @xmath48 scheme , we find near @xmath85 , @xmath96 , \nonumber \label{nlomsbar}\\ \delta g^{\gamma}(x)\vert_{{\rm nlo},\overline { \rm ms } } & \approx & \frac{\alpha}{4\pi } n_f\langle e^2\rangle 3~[-{\rm ln}~x ] ~.\end{aligned}\ ] ] it is remarkable that in the @xmath48 scheme quark pdf s , @xmath97 and @xmath98 , diverge as @xmath99 $ ] for @xmath100 .
the nlo quark pdf s in the ci scheme also diverge as @xmath100 .
in fact we observe that @xmath101 approaches @xmath97 for large @xmath0 . on the other hand
, the os scheme gives quite different behaviors near @xmath85 for the quark pdf s .
we find that , in @xmath0 space , @xmath102 does not diverge for @xmath90 but approaches a constant value : @xmath103 . \label{nloos}\end{aligned}\ ] ] in lo the pdf s of unpolarized virtual photon target have the same behaviors as the polarized case for @xmath90 .
we obtain @xmath104 furthermore , we have found that the nlo behaviors of the pdf s , which are predicted by each factorization scheme for @xmath100 , are the same both in the unpolarized and polarized cases .
more specifically @xmath105 where @xmath106 . in @xmath70 scheme ,
quark pdf s becomes negative and divergent for @xmath90 .
in fact , we find @xmath107\end{aligned}\ ] ] this is due to the fact that the photonic coefficient function @xmath108 , which becomes negative and divergent for @xmath100 in @xmath48 , is absorbed into the quark pdf s in the @xmath70 scheme . in lo ( solid line ) and beyond lo .
the nlo results are from @xmath48(dash - dotted line ) , ci ( short - dashed line ) , and os ( long - dashed line ) schemes.,width=302,height=377 ] in lo ( solid line ) and beyond lo .
the nlo results are from @xmath48(dash - dotted line ) , os ( long - dashed line ) , and @xmath70(short - dashed line ) schemes .
, width=302,height=377 ]
the pdf s are recovered from the moments by the inverse mellin transformation .
in fig.2 we plot the singlet quark pdf @xmath109 of polarized virtual photon both in lo and nlo in units of @xmath110 .
we have taken @xmath111 , @xmath112 , @xmath113 , and the qcd scale parameter @xmath114 .
we present the nlo results in three different factorization schemes , i.e. , @xmath48 , ci and os .
the ci and os lines cross the @xmath0-axis nearly at the same point , just below @xmath115 , while the @xmath48 line crosses at above @xmath115 .
this is understandable since we saw from eq.([qsci ] ) that the first moment of @xmath75 vanishes in the ci and os schemes , while it is negative in the @xmath48 scheme . as @xmath100
, we observe that the @xmath66 and ci lines continue to increase and actually tend to merge , while the os line starts to drop .
these behaviors are inferred from eqs.([nlomsbar]-[nloos ] ) . it is noted that the @xmath48 line is much different from the lo one .
we see that os scheme predicts a better behavour for @xmath116 than other schemes in the sence that the os line is closer to the lo one and does not diverge as @xmath100 . concerning the non - singlet quark distribution @xmath117
, we find that when we take into account the charge factors , it falls on the singlet quark distribution in almost all @xmath0 region ; namely two
normalized " distributions @xmath118 and @xmath119 mostly overlap except at very small @xmath0 region . finally , compared with quark pdf s
, the gluon distribution @xmath120 is very much small in absolute value except at the small @xmath0 region .
in fig.3 we plot the singlet quark pdf @xmath121 inside unpolarized virtual photon target both in lo and nlo in units of @xmath110 .
again we have taken @xmath111 , @xmath112 , @xmath113 , and the qcd scale parameter @xmath114 .
we present the nlo results in three different factorization schemes , i.e. , @xmath48 , os and @xmath70 . as in the polarized case ,
the @xmath48 line deviates from the lo one , and diverges as @xmath100 .
the @xmath70 line is close to the lo line below @xmath122 , but negatively diverges as @xmath100 .
again , in the unpolarized case , the os scheme gives a better behavior for @xmath123 .
actually , the os line is closer to the lo one and starts to drop to reach the finite value for @xmath100 .
the behaviors of the pdf s inside the virtual photon target , polarized and unpolarized , can be predicted entirely up to nlo , but they are factorization - scheme - dependent . we have studied the scheme dependence of the pdf s in the virtual photon . in the case of polarized pdf s , the scheme dependence is clearly seen in the first moments and the large-@xmath0 behaviors of quark distributions . in the umpolarized case , the scheme dependence is also observed in the large-@xmath0 behaviors of quark distributions .
the nlo quark pdf s predicted by the @xmath48 scheme deviate substantially from the lo results and diverge as @xmath100 , for both polarized and unpolarized cases . on the other hand ,
the os scheme gives better behaviors for the quark pdf s in the sence that they are close to the lo pdf s and remain finite as @xmath100 .
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Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries 1. Chapter 1: Appointment
**Touch the Flame**
**Summary: **This is the sequel to _Comfortably Numb_. Eric and Sookie may have decided to fight against Appius's influence in Eric's life, but that doesn't mean smooth sailing for them. New challenges and tragedies will befall them. Will they find a way to stay together through them? Or will Appius drive them apart—or worse?
**MUST READ: **This story will make no sense at all without _Comfortably Numb_. If you've not read it, I hope that you will.
**Disclaimer: **I own nothing related to _True Blood_ or the _Southern Vampire Mysteries_ novels. Those items provide the inspiration for the story; however, I do not own or profit from the fanfiction I produce using that inspiration (except in the form of your kind comments and reviews).
**Story Title: **The title of this sequel is from lyrics of the U2 song "Where the Streets Have No Name." (I own no rights to this song.)
I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And **touch the flame**
Where the streets have no name
(_from_ "Where the Streets Have No Name")
**NOTE:** The "flame" will be _very_ hot in this story and the angst will be high. But there will be joy too—and a whole lot of love. Remember, that if you _need_ to know the endgame in order to go through this journey with me (I know that I like to read the last page of a book first), then you can PM me. I have no problem letting you know the destination if it will help you to come with me.
* * *
**Chapter 01: Appointment **
Bobby woke up to the feeling of soft lips on his cock, and he sure as hell didn't mind that.
"Mmmm," he sounded roughly. "For a self-proclaimed hater of dicks, you do that so well."
Pam looked up from her task. "Well your cock is one of the few I've liked," she grinned as she moved her hand up and down his member.
"So good," he panted, holding her hair in a pony tail as she took him into her mouth again. He knew enough about Pam to know that if he thrust upward, she would stop, so he kept his body still.
"What has you so wound up at," he glanced at the clock, "5:00 in the morning?"
"Mmmm," she hummed around his cock. "A good dream."
"Oh God," he murmured as she took the hand that had been playing with his balls and pressed a finger—hard—against his perineum.
"You like a little kink, don't you?" Pam purred from around his dick.
"I like _your_ kink," he reminded as she moved her finger to stimulate his rear entrance.
Forty minutes later, they were both sated and showered, though they'd settled back into bed.
"You're the only one I've ever let do that," Bobby commented as Pam leaned over him to grab one of his cigarettes from the nook behind the bed. She didn't smoke often, but she did enjoy a post coital cigarette every now and then.
"I've figured that out," she winked, "though you've seemed to enjoy it every time I've done it."
"I gotta tell you—the first time was a real eye opener," he chuckled, remembering the first time Pam had decided to make it her personal mission to find his prostate gland and then stimulate it until he came only from that. Bobby had never been attracted to men, but in that moment, he had understood the attraction of anal sex. Of course, Pam's thin finger was as far as he was willing to go in that arena.
She leaned against the headboard and lit up her cigarette.
Bobby grabbed one and did the same. He chuckled when Pam glared at him. "Hey—you know I never smoke in your house unless you're smoking."
Pam—in all other situations—hated cigarettes and hated Bobby smoking them, especially around her. In fact, she required that he brush his teeth and gargle mouthwash for a full minute if he wanted to kiss her at all after he'd been smoking.
"I don't like you smoking in my house," she said, taking a big puff of her own cigarette before grabbing a beautiful ashtray and setting it down in the nook of the headboard—where they could both reach it.
"You're the most infuriating woman I know," Bobby said, though he was still chuckling. "Who else would take a cigarette from a smoker, light up after sex with him, and then deny him the same privilege?"
Pam shrugged. "I don't care."
Bobby smiled slyly. "You know—you only want one of those when I _really_ get you off."
Pam rolled her eyes but didn't contradict him. In fact, Bobby had been able to tell that he'd gotten her off a couple of times. After she'd brought him to a mind-numbing orgasm, he'd returned the favor, and Pam wasn't shy about telling him exactly where she wanted him to be and what she wanted him to do during oral sex. If she weren't so goddamned sexy, he might have been annoyed by it.
"Like I said, I woke up from a hot dream," she smirked, trying to deflate his ego—no doubt.
"Must have been a good one. Was I in it?"
"No," Pam answered, her smirk growing. "Wrong gender."
Bobby chuckled. "Let me get this straight. You had a dream in which you were having sex with a woman and then you woke up and felt the need to give me a blow job?"
Pam shrugged. "You were the only thing available."
Bobby snorted. "I'll try not to take offense."
"You shouldn't—not really," Pam said her face falling a bit as she took another drag of her cigarette.
"What's wrong?" Bobby asked perceptively.
"Nothing," she tried.
"Bullshit," Bobby returned.
"Fine," Pam glared at him. "It's just that I've been dreaming of this person a lot."
Bobby's lips curved into a half-smile/half-smirk. "Pammy, are _you_ in love?"
"God no!" Pam protested quickly, her voice a bit squeaky.
Bobby's smile widened. "I think the lady doth protest too much."
Pam took a drag of her cigarette and blew the smoke out slowly.
Bobby's playful demeanor, as well as his impulse to relentlessly tease his "friend with benefits," faltered when he saw the serious look on Pam's face. "Tell me about her," he requested sincerely.
Pam sighed. "It's Sookie's Brooklyn roommate."
"Amelia?" Bobby asked. "I thought the two of you were just having fun."
"Yeah," Pam said. "We decided to keep things casual and to continue seeing others. She's a lot more 'bi' than I am."
Bobby took a drag of his cigarette. "And that scares you?" he asked perceptively.
Pam sighed. "You know I'm a lesbian."
He looked at her skeptically.
"I make an exception with you. But I don't have an interest in trying other men anymore. However, I've been with a lot of so-called _bi_-sexual women who don't know what they want. They like to 'play' with other women, but only until they find their Prince Charming, but that usually doesn't bother me because I'm just playing with them too."
"But you really like Amelia, and you're afraid she's just dallying with the idea of being a lesbian, so you're afraid to commit."
"You're an asshole sometimes," Pam said, reaching over to put out her finished cigarette and take another.
Bobby shook his head a little. In Pam-speak, those words meant that he'd hit the nail on the head with his assessment of what was going on.
"The worst part," Pam said, "is that I woke up from my dream feeling a little guilty that I'd slept with you."
"So you decided to alleviate that guilt by blowing me?" Bobby asked with a chuckle. "And then by fucking me again?"
She glared at him. "I'm trying to be serious here."
"Sorry," Bobby said as he too lit another cigarette. He got another glare for that, but just rolled his eyes and motioned to the lit cigarette in her fingers.
"Anyway—yeah—I figured that getting off would stop those pangs of guilt, especially since you're _very_ good at distracting me."
Bobby grinned. "Well—you've trained me well."
"Damned right," Pam snarked as she raised a perfect eyebrow. In fact, she had taught Bobby many, many things about pleasing a woman with oral sex.
"It didn't work—did it?"
"What?" Pam asked evasively.
"The guilt came back after the orgasm—I mean orgasm_s_."
"Yeah," she admitted.
"You should go for it then," Bobby advised. "From what I've seen, Amelia's nice—a little too 'new aged' for my taste, but nice. And she's my cousin Claudine's best friend. And when I asked about Amelia, Claudine had nice things to say."
"Why would you ask about Amelia? You're not interested in her—are you?" Pam asked a little jealously.
"Down girl," Bobby chuckled. "No. I checked into her a little because of her connection to Sookie. I wanted to try to gauge her trustworthiness in keeping Eric and Sookie's relationship a secret."
Pam bit her lip a little. "So you investigated her?"
"Just enough," Bobby answered. "And I asked Claudine about her, but that's all. She seems like a good person, Pam, and I don't think she'd yank your chain if she wasn't into you. So if you want something more exclusive, ask for it," he counseled, bringing his hand to her cheek in a tender motion. "I'd miss the hell out of our little rendezvous, but I know I'm not the one for you—at least not in the long run."
"Yeah," she said bringing her own hand up to stroke his cheek, "but sometimes I wish you were, Bobby."
Not wanting things to become too serious, he lightened the mood. "But I'm not willing to get a sex-change operation for you, and since I wasn't made with a vagina, you find me lacking."
"A nice pair of tits would help too," she said, her usual sarcasm rising into her voice.
"Those too." He leaned over and kissed her lips softly. "Try with Amelia, Pam. Just tell her what you want, and see if she wants it too."
"And if she doesn't?" Pam asked a bit insecurely.
"Then you'll have to decide whether to keep seeing her—because if you really like her, but she sees it as casual, she'll hurt you without meaning to. And I wouldn't want to see that."
Bobby kissed Pam one more time and put out his cigarette before getting out of bed.
"Hey—where are you going?" Pam asked.
Bobby glanced at the clock. "I have an appointment at 8:00," he said as he put on his pants. He'd decided it was better not to tell Pam about the listening device Nora had planted. He'd leave it up to Eric to decide who to tell about this latest piece of his father's duplicity.
Bobby sighed. If he thought that Eric would forgive him for doing it, Bobby would arrange for Appius to have an "accident." God knows—Bobby had met enough nefarious people in his line of work to set something up. However, Bobby couldn't do that to his friend or to the woman in bed in front of him—at least, not unless they asked.
Moreover, he still felt that death would be too damned good for Appius Northman. After all, he'd been the cause of decades of pain for his "brother," and—make no mistake—Bobby truly thought of Eric Northman as his brother, more than ever.
And as the older "brother," Bobby felt damned protective of Eric. Since Sookie had been in his life, Eric had been opening himself up more than he ever had before; he was no longer holding back the part of himself that was most important.
It had almost broken Bobby's heart to see Eric sunken onto his knees and looking into his half-empty closet as if his world had been taken from him. In truth, that had been why Bobby had needed to seek out Pam. He'd needed a little comforting of his own after seeing Eric so distraught.
Bobby intuited that it wasn't even the bug being planted that had ultimately broken Eric down like that. If it were just Eric living in the house—if it had been the Eric of a year ago—he would have likely "accepted" his father's surveillance of his office without putting up a fight. After all, unlike Bobby—and _certainly_ unlike Appius—Eric was truly an honorable man. Thus, he had very little to hide.
Of course, before Sookie, Eric had allowed himself nothing that would have needed to be hidden.
Bobby sighed. He could tell that what had truly crushed Eric was the thought of losing Sookie—the thought that his relationship with her _would_ have been discovered by that listening device. And then Appius would have known what would hurt Eric the most. And Sookie's being hurt had obviously caused great fear in his friend.
Bobby shook his head a little. He couldn't help but to share Eric's concern, and he cringed when he thought about Appius learning of Sookie and Eric's relationship, but what truly worried him was that Appius would find out just how much Sookie meant to Eric. Appius would do anything he could to hurt Sookie if he knew the depth of Eric's feelings for her. And Sookie had plenty of things in her past that could hurt her, even though she wasn't to blame for any of them.
"What's got you so frowny over there?" Pam asked as she got out of bed and pulled on her robe.
"Just thinking about my appointment."
"What kind of appointment do you have at 8:00 on a Sunday morning?" she asked, her hands on her hips.
"Proctologist," he grinned.
"Didn't you already have your proctologist appointment this morning?" she deadpanned.
He chuckled as he moved toward her, and then he dipped her into a toe-curling kiss.
"What the fuck was that for?" Pam asked breathlessly when he lifted her up.
"Just in case things work out with Amelia, I wanted one last kiss," he grinned rakishly.
Pam shook her head a little, but then looked concerned. "Bobby, if things do work out, I don't want to lose you as my," she paused, "friend. You get me—probably better than anyone else does or could," she admitted begrudgingly.
He pulled her into a warm hug. "You and I will always be friends, Pammy. It's only the 'with benefits' part that's variable."
For once, as Pam tightened her arms around him, she didn't even mind that Bobby had called her "Pammy."
* * *
Bobby walked from the elevator straight into the parking garage. Both Eric and Pam had three parking spaces that came with their homes, and since they never used them all, Bobby always parked in the garage when he came over.
He was a little surprised to find someone waiting for him next to his car.
"Henry," Bobby said as he approached the car and saw Henry Jiles there. He'd developed a friendship with the head of security over the last couple of months. Henry had a wry wit and a subtle quirkiness that appealed to Bobby. Plus, the ex-Navy SEAL's work—and his fast thinking the night before—had made Bobby admire the chief of security for Eric's building even more. Right then, however, Henry's face told him that he'd be saying something Bobby didn't want to hear.
"Bobby," Henry returned, "are you heading to Brooklyn?"
Bobby nodded. "Yeah. I was planning to go home, change, and then head over to the Brownstone."
"I'm riding over with you," Henry said, his tone brooking no argument.
"When I saw you, I kind of figured you might," Bobby smirked. He pushed the button to unlock his car and wasn't surprised when Henry beat him inside.
"Where do you live?" Henry asked.
"A loft—on the Lowest East. What's all this about?" Bobby asked. "I can't imagine that you're just trying to save on gas money."
Henry nodded. "I'll tell you on the way. Blake and I aren't sure, but Eric and Sookie might have a bigger problem than we thought."
* * *
**A/N: Well—that's the beginning! I know that you probably wanna see what Eric and Sookie are doing right now. We left them last in post coital bliss after having decided to fight against Appius. I decided to give them a couple hours of sleep. ;) They will need it.**
**As I said before, I'll be rotating this story and my other new one **_**Uninvited**_**. (I'll be working on each a week at a time.) Thanks to everyone who has followed me to that story too! I don't say it enough, but I think my readers are the best in the world. And you come from all over the world too! Congrats to my Chinese fans, by the way, about Li Na winning the Aussie Open. I love her (she's so funny). I was pulling for her when I watched the match live. (Yep—3:30 my time!) Sorry to my Aussie fans about your players getting knocked out early. I always pull for Leyton. And—yep—I'm a huge Tennis fans. (I'm still upset that my Djoker is out, though I'm pulling for Stanislas in the final.) **
**Anyway, I'll stop my little tangent.**
**Thanks for reading and following me to the sequel!**
**I'll get you at least one more chapter before I switch back to **_**Uninvited**_** next week.**
**XOXO,**
**Kat**
**Remember that their are pictures of the cast, etc. (made by the lovely Sephrenia) available over on my WordPress site. (californiakat1564 . wordpress . com). **
2. Chapter 2: Caught
**Chapter 02: Caught**
"Set the table?" Sookie asked as she leaned back into Eric's body even as she flipped the pancakes.
"For five?" Eric asked.
"Six. Just in case Amelia gets up."
"I'm up," Amelia said as she groggily dragged into the room. "But I don't have to stay if you guys need privacy once Bobby, Henry, and Blake get here."
Sookie looked at Eric.
"No—stay. It's okay. Maybe you'll have some ideas." He looked over at Sookie. "And there's some good news too—so stay for that."
"Sure," Amelia said, quickly grabbing a huge coffee cup and filling it. She took a long drink. "Oh, God. That's good." Immediately, she looked a little more awake. "And I'm always happy to hear good news." Suddenly excited, she looked at Sookie. "You're not pregnant—are you?"
Sookie almost spit out the drink of coffee she'd just taken.
"No," she blushed and then looked at Eric.
"Then what is it?" Amelia asked.
"We'll tell you when the others get here," Eric and Sookie both answered at the same time before grinning widely at each other.
"Geez," Amelia said with mock disgust. "You two are so damned cute sometimes that it turns my stomach."
"That's the coffee hitting the tequila," Sookie said cheekily, even as she continued smiling at Eric.
"Can you give me a hint?" Amelia pouted before taking another long drink of coffee.
Amelia's question reminded both Eric and Sookie of the conversation they'd had right before they finally fell asleep for what turned out to be a two-hour nap since Sookie had set the alarm for 7:00 a.m. After they'd decided that they were "it" for each other and that Eric was going to break his contract with Appius on his thirty-fifth birthday, they'd talked about having children and the insecurities each of them had because they didn't have good examples to follow. But they agreed that they both wanted to be parents anyway; actually, they agreed that they wanted to become parents _together_.
However, they'd decided to wait until Eric was truly free from Appius's influence, which would be several years from then, but they were not in a hurry anyway. Still, they'd both gone to sleep with smiles on their faces as they'd thought about having a family together.
During his two hours of sleep, Eric had dreamed of being on Lake Vänern with that family—_his_ family. He and Sookie were on a boat and watching over a small blond child, who was splashing merrily in the water. It had been the most vivid "happy" dream he'd ever experienced. He'd had recurring nightmares when he was a kid, and those had also been intense. But the vibrant dream he'd had that morning was also the dream that he'd decided to pursue for his real life too, and because of that, he felt like a weight had been taken from him.
Sookie's phone rang, and she reached for it on the counter.
"Bobby," she said, handing it to Eric. "Talk to him while I make more pancakes."
Eric nodded and answered the phone.
"Hey, you on your way?" he asked lightheartedly.
As he listened to what Bobby had to say, Eric's carefree expression burned from his face.
"Eric?" Sookie asked, immediately sensing and seeing his mood change.
After listening for a few more moments, Eric hung up.
His expression was now a mixture of anger and fear as he looked at Sookie.
"Eric?" she asked again.
"They're here," he said stiffly. He looked at Amelia. "Would you mind unlocking your back door? They'll be coming in that way in about one minute."
Amelia looked a little confused, but went through the kitchen to the utility room. The back door was located there and led out to a large courtyard shared by the residents of the buildings on that block. Since she was on the first floor, Amelia had a small patio right outside of her home too.
Sookie immediately turned off the gas burners and went to Eric's side, but before she could ask him what had happened, he took her into his arms and buried his face into her hair.
"One day, you'll realize that being with me is more trouble than it's worth," he whispered.
"You're worth any trouble, Eric," Sookie assured, even as she wrapped her arms around him more tightly.
A few seconds later, Amelia came into the kitchen with Bobby, Blake, and Henry. All three men looked grim.
"Good morning," Henry said with the air of formality Sookie associated with his being an ex-Marine.
"Sookie. Eric," Blake greeted with a little nod. He took a deep breath and spoke to them like the detective he was. "I need to know a couple of things before we talk this all through."
"What things?" Sookie asked, even as Eric nodded next to her.
"Have any of you been outside today?" Blake asked, including Amelia in the question too.
"I brought in the paper an hour ago," Eric said.
"From the front stoop?"
Eric nodded.
"Was Sookie with you when you did?" Blake questioned.
"No," Eric answered. "Sookie was in the bathroom then."
"And you? Have you been out of the house at all?" Blake asked Amelia.
"I just got up, so no," she answered, clearly mystified by the questioning.
"Bobby?" Sookie asked, looking for answers.
"We'll explain in a minute," Bobby soothed. "Right now, just answer Blake's questions."
Sookie bit her lip nervously, but nodded.
"Have any of you spent time in the front living room this morning?" Blake asked. "The drapes are open in there."
"Well," Sookie responded, "you have to walk through there from my room to get to the kitchen, so yeah. I've walked through there a couple of times now."
"With Eric?" Blake asked.
"No," she answered. "He was already in the kitchen making coffee when I came in here, and he's been reading the paper."
"And you?" Blake asked Amelia.
"My room is down that hall." Amelia pointed away from the front room. "And I came straight to the kitchen."
"You?" he asked Eric.
"I went from the hall leading to Sookie's bedroom into the living room this morning, and then I went to the front door, and then I came in here. Sookie's right. I haven't left this room since then."
Henry and Bobby looked at Blake.
"That should be okay," Blake said.
"What should be okay?" Sookie asked, her frustration level obviously rising.
"Just give Blake one more minute, Sookie," Henry requested, speaking in a brotherly tone that was obviously meant to comfort her.
"What about last night?" Blake asked, looking from Eric to Sookie. "Did you two talk in the living room or—uh—do anything else there?"
"No," Eric answered. "We went straight back to Sookie's room when I got here."
"Your room is in the back? Facing the courtyard?" Blake asked.
Sookie nodded.
"And the curtains are closed in your room?" he followed up.
"Yes," she answered. "And there are mini-blinds too."
"Good," Blake said. "And you Amelia? Were you in the living room at all after Eric and Sookie went to her bedroom?"
Amelia shook her head. "No. I mean yes. I went to my bedroom when we heard Eric's taxi pull up. But I came out about an hour later to grab a glass of water. I went to the front door to double check that all the locks were set, and then I turned on the alarm. I stepped into the living room to shut off the light Sookie and I'd had on."
"And your bedroom faces the front of the house—correct?"
Amelia nodded.
"And your curtains are closed? Have they been closed all night and this morning?"
Amelia nodded again. "Yeah, and there's a shade in there too."
Blake nodded. "Could you go close the drapes in the living room?"
Though still obviously confused, Amelia moved to do as directed.
"Wait," Blake said halting her with his tone. "The only street-facing windows are in your bedroom, the living room, and the dining room—correct?" he asked pointing to the dining room, which they could see from where they were all standing in the kitchen?" The heavy drapes in that rarely-used room were already pulled tightly shut.
"There's an office on the other side of the living room, but I always keep those blinds closed when I'm not in there," Amelia responded.
Blake looked back at Sookie, who seemed to be bursting at the seams with tension. "Just one more thing, Sookie," Blake promised. "Who answered the door for Eric last night?"
"I did," she said, her voice quivering a little.
"And did you walk outside at all when you did that?" he asked.
"Yes," she responded.
"Did you kiss him in the doorway—or even hug him?"
Sookie closed her eyes to remember. "Yes. We held each other for a little while—maybe twenty seconds or so? Then, I remember taking his hand and pulling him inside. We went straight to the bedroom."
"You were holding hands as you went?" Blake asked.
"Yeah," Eric answered.
Blake nodded and moved toward the front of the house as Amelia came back to the kitchen. About thirty seconds later, he walked back in.
"I think it's okay," Blake said.
Bobby nodded and looked at Amelia. "Is there a room in the back of the house that can fit us all so that we can sit down and talk?"
"Yeah—a sitting room. I'll go close the drapes," she said, catching on—at least a little bit—to what was happening.
Blake nodded at Amelia. "Thanks. He's watching from the front and will probably stay there, but it's good to be cautious."
Forgetting completely about breakfast, Sookie grasped Eric's hand tightly. "Who's the _he_?"
"Let's go sit," Eric said, suddenly feeling very tired and heavy with worries again.
Sookie nodded and led the group to the sitting room where Amelia had already closed the vertical blinds and was now pulling the drapes. She flipped on the light in the corner of the room before taking a seat on the large couch. Henry and Blake also took places on the couch as Sookie and Eric sat on the loveseat. Bobby stayed standing, even though there was a chair left over.
It was actually Henry who started speaking. "Eric, after I put you in the taxi last night, I went right back up to your house since Blake had gotten back with the screening equipment. It wasn't until Blake and I came back down about an hour later that I talked to Rasul." Henry looked at Eric. "He told us that he'd seen a big guy hanging around out front around the time you and I came down. Rasul said that he didn't see the guy's face clearly, but something had stood out about him, and it'd been bugging him while I was up at your house. So Rasul did a patrol around the building, but there was nothing suspicious. Then, he did a runback of the video footage near the front entrance and got a shot of the guy, but it wasn't clear. When he showed me the image after I returned downstairs, I recognized he guy's tattoo."
"Sigebert," Eric sighed. "Or Wybert."
Blake held out his cell phone for Eric and Sookie to see. On it was the image of a large man. His face was turned, but a tattoo of a dragon could be seen clearly on his arm.
"But that's not at Eric's. That's from right outside of this building!" Sookie exclaimed nervously.
"Yeah," Blake confirmed. "I took it about five minutes before Bobby and Henry got here this morning." He sighed. "Once Henry recognized the man who'd been in front of Eric's building as one of the men whom Eric's father had sent to snoop around in the past, I decided to come here to make sure he'd not followed you. After finding the listening device, we thought that it would be better to be safe than sorry."
"We should have called you," Henry said contritely, "but we knew that Eric would have already arrived by then, so any potential damage would have already been done. And we honestly didn't think that 'the Bert' could have made it to a vehicle in time to tail you last night."
Eric sighed. "This is all my fault. I should have seen him. I always see them when they're following!" He raked the hand that wasn't holding Sookie's through his hair. "I've _always_ been careful, but last night, I was," he paused, "upset."
Henry nodded. "There is no reason to suspect that he had been following you before last night. After Blake left, Tray and I went back over the surveillance footage around the building. We used the Berts' drivers' license photos—which Blake got for us—to run the facial recognition program that Thalia installed last year. Hell! We even ran the tattoo through the system. We can safely say that neither Sigebert nor Wybert has been picked up on any of our cameras during the last month."
"But he followed me here last night," Eric sighed.
"I didn't think so at first," Blake admitted. "Given the fact that we saw the man on the security footage right around the time you were put into the cab, it would have been very difficult for him to get to a vehicle and follow you. We'd figured that you'd gotten away clear. But, as I said, I came out here to sniff around anyway—just to be absolutely sure. After I got here, I maneuvered around outside for a while, but I didn't see anyone suspicious. Just to be safe, though, I took up a position in the brownstone across the street. I figured that if I didn't see 'the Bert' by this morning, he'd not managed to track Eric here."
"But he _was_ there," Sookie whimpered.
Blake nodded. "This morning—right before I left my position to come over here—he parked a vehicle across the street—in the perfect location to monitor the front entrance of this building. He got out of his car and approached the house—probably trying to see if he could see in through the front windows, but from my own observations, I already knew that only the living room curtains were open. And those weren't even opened fully. I don't know if 'the Bert' has been here all night, but we have to assume that he has been here for at least part of it. He moved his car to its current position right after the street-sweepers went through."
Bobby sighed. "He may not even have followed you at all, Eric. He could have gotten the information about your destination from the cabby that drove you here, but we can't be sure."
Sookie sniffled a little as Eric pulled her closer to him.
"As soon as I spotted 'the Bert,'" Blake continued, "I called Henry and told him and Bobby to approach from where he couldn't see them. He'd gone back to his car by then."
Eric sighed. "So—best case scenario—he got here just a little while ago and has seen nothing."
Blake nodded. "Yes. And—worst case scenario—he managed to follow the cab you were in last night." He took a breath. "He would have needed to keep at a fair distance, especially when you entered this neighborhood," he added. "It's quiet, and you would have likely spotted him otherwise." He exchanged a look with Henry.
"Unless you were distracted," Henry said somberly.
"I was," Eric admitted in a low tone.
Blake picked up, "Well, even if he was close, he would have been unable to see much of Sookie—if he saw her at all—given the ivy around the front entrance and the fact that the light isn't especially bright."
Bobby ran his hand through his hair. "But we are going to be cautious and work off of the assumption that he _did_ catch a glimpse of her."
"Shit," Sookie said, pretty much summing up what they all felt.
"Listen, Sook, from what you've said, even if he drove by last night at the exact moment when he could have seen you hugging and then taking Eric's hand, those are innocent enough gestures," Bobby comforted.
"But they'll know who lives here," Sookie said.
"No," Amelia chimed in, "they won't know who you are. Your name isn't on the lease, and I didn't exactly file the proper paperwork when you moved in here." She looked at Blake a little guiltily. "So—uh—they'll think Eric was here spending the night with _me_, and that's what you _want_ them to think—right?" she finished, looking at Bobby.
"Yes," Bobby answered. "A liaison with you is something that Appius wouldn't mind."
"Because of who my family is!" Amelia said with realization. She looked at Sookie. "This is really good! I mean—it sucks, but it's good. The worst that could happen is that they think you're my friend—someone who happened to be over when Eric was here. Hell! They might even figure that we had a threesome, but they won't know who you are, and even if this 'Bert' asshole had been standing right at the window of the living room, the sheer curtains were drawn the whole time, and his view would have been obstructed."
"Yes," Blake said. "I agree. As I said, I was watching from the Brownstone across the street for much of the night, and the first time I saw 'the Bert' get close to the building was this morning. Maybe he peered in last night before I arrived, but—from what you've said—he wouldn't have seen much."
"So Appius will think Eric's having an affair with Amelia?" Sookie asked.
"If we are lucky—yes," Bobby said.
"But what if he saw Sookie greeting me?" Eric asked with concern. "Though they are of similar heights and builds, Sookie is blonde, while Amelia is brunette."
"You just hugged right?" Bobby asked to clarify.
Eric ran his hand through his hair. "Yes—but I don't want him asking questions."
"Hopefully, 'the Bert' didn't see that there was a blonde here at all," Bobby said.
"But what if he did?" Eric pushed, his voice laced with anxiety.
"No problem!" Amelia said excitedly. "I've been thinking about going blonde for a while; in fact, I bought one of those temporary color kits to see what it would look like before I did it for real. And I don't mind pretending Eric and I have a _thing_—not as long as we can tell Pam the truth."
"Thanks, Amelia," Eric said sincerely, "but I can't ask you to get involved in my troubles."
"You didn't ask," she said simply. "And it's really not that big of a deal." She giggled. "It's not like Sookie's going to kick my ass when she finds out about our 'clandestine affair,'" she said dramatically.
Sookie got up and went over to hug Amelia. "I've never had a friend like you," she whispered.
Amelia looked at her and smiled. "Look around the room," she said in a low voice. "I think you have at least three others, and then there's Pam and Thalia too. Any one of us would walk through fire for you, Sookie. And we'd walk through fire for you too," she added, looking at Eric.
"She's right," Bobby said. "And it's high time you started believing that," he said, looking right at Eric.
Eric closed his eyes tightly, taking in Bobby's words but not knowing exactly how to process them yet. "What about the listening device in our home?" Eric asked as Sookie returned to his side. "Or is it device_s_?"
"There's just the one in the office," Blake confirmed. "I swept the whole house for other signals—the terrace, too."
"And then Thalia did it a second time early this morning," Henry said, "after our military contact came through with the more sophisticated equipment Bobby told you about. Thalia has also swept the elevator, lobby, and parking lot—for both passive and active surveillance devices."
"Did you take the bug out?" Eric asked.
"No," Bobby said cautiously. "We needed to talk to you first."
"Why the fuck not? What's there to talk about?" Eric asked angrily.
"The second it's taken out, Appius will know you found it, and then he'll redouble his efforts to know what you're doing."
Eric closed his eyes again and retook Sookie's hand. "But I won't live there without Sookie. And what if the bug picks up our talking—even from another room?"
"That won't happen," Henry said. "One of Thalia's jobs in the Navy was to plant or block listening devices a whole hell of a lot more sophisticated than the one Appius is using. And when I set up the system at Carmichael Plaza, I used Thalia—as well as some of my contacts in Naval Intelligence—to make sure that it was state-of-the-art. Thalia's already been able to find the signal of Appius's device, _and_ she's already hacked into it."
"Thalia is a computer hacker?" Sookie asked with surprise.
Henry chuckled. "My little sis was one of the best computer hackers in the Navy," he offered proudly. "Right now, Appius is listening to the sounds coming from one of the bedrooms on the fourth floor of the tower."
"The fourth floor?" Sookie asked.
"Yeah," Henry smiled. "It's the one empty unit in the tower. We surveil all empty units so that if a realtor comes in with a client, we can make sure everything stays on the up-and-up. Thalia has basically replaced the audio feed from your place with the audio feed from the fourth floor—so that Appius will still hear the sounds of the building, like the air conditioning unit."
"What if someone comes to look at the unit?" Sookie asked.
"Don't worry," Henry responded. "The owners put such a high price on it that no one has looked in months, and—even if they did—an appointment must be made, so Thalia can easily move the signal back to Eric's office during those times."
"So Appius will only hear _when_ and _what_ we want him to hear?" Eric asked for clarification.
"Yep," Bobby said.
"That'll be handy," Sookie said, trying to sound as positive as she could in light of the fact that Appius was trying to spy on Eric.
"And there's no way that a mistake could happen with what Thalia's got set up?" Eric asked.
"No way," Henry said. "But Thalia says she wants a bonus," he added with a smirk.
Eric chuckled. "She'll get one."
"I'll tell her."
"So," Eric sighed. "How do we get out of here? And how do we get Sigebert off of my ass? Sookie and I have a date at the MET."
Bobby chuckled. "Well—if Amelia really is willing to dye her hair, I say that needs to happen first. How long does that take to do?"
"I could have it done in an hour," she said, "even less if wet hair is okay for what you have in mind."
"Perfect," Bobby responded, understanding even better now why Pam would be attracted to Amelia.
"I'll get started," the soon-to-be-blonde said, standing up. "Why don't you all go have breakfast and then bring me up to speed on the plan once I have the dye on?"
Sookie stood up and gave Amelia another hug before turning to the others. "You guys want coffee?"
"Love some," Henry, Blake, and Bobby answered in concert as Sookie began to lead them to the kitchen.
"Bobby?" Eric said, signaling for his friend to stay behind for a minute. "What do you really think?" he asked when the others were out of earshot.
"I think we got lucky. We'll be able to contain this _and_ to use it to our benefit. If I'm guessing right, then Appius probably had you followed because he was suspicious when Isabel left early last night. And by coming here, you inadvertently gave him a reason why you'd want to get rid of Isabel so quickly. Appius will think that you are having an affair with Amelia on the side, and we can use the listening device to solidify that notion. _And_ we'll 'show' him Amelia today and have you two kiss or something to give him a nice show when you say goodbye to her."
Eric immediately tensed. "I won't do anything that could be considered cheating on Sookie." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm going to marry her, Bobby. I'm going to break the contract on my thirty-fifth birthday and marry her."
Bobby's mouth turned upward into a grin. "Good! That contract is idiotic anyway!"
"Idiotic?" Eric asked with surprise. "_You_ helped me draw it up."
"Yeah—well—I always hated the idea of you still under your father's thumb in _any_ way, but being CEO of Northman Publishing was what you wanted at the time." He sighed. "I won't deny the fact that I had been hoping that you would find something you wanted more—before you got married to someone you didn't really love. But—you have to be sure. Between the CEO, the NP stock, and the trust fund, you are giving up a lot."
"Sookie's worth everything I'm giving up—and more," Eric said passionately. "But that's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried about the others that this will affect."
"I know. But you can't take the world onto your shoulders, Eric." Bobby sighed.
Eric sighed as well. "I used to think that I _deserved_ the whole world on my shoulders."
The two men were silent for a moment.
"I'm glad you've found her," Bobby finally said.
"Me too, Bobby, but Sookie and I need to bide our time. The sooner Appius finds out about her, the worse it will be for us and for my team at NP. I want to give them time to build safety nets for themselves. And—as you know—it's just not feasible for me to break the contract before my thirty-fifth birthday."
Bobby nodded. "Okay. And to that end, by the end of the day—if we play our cards right—we'll have let Appius hear all he needs to in order to leave you alone for a long time."
Eric nodded. "I figure I'll be at Northman Publishing for three and a half more years. And then I want to sell the NP stock that I put in Mormor's name and set up a trust for her. Initially, I thought that I'd be able to eventually buy your NP stock, but that won't be possible now. Maybe we could get Appius to buy yours at the same time he seizes mine?"
"How will he be able to have more stock and still keep the company public?" Bobby asked.
"A loophole. He would likely put the stock in Appius's Jr.'s name and then put it into a trust he'd control. I don't really care how he does it though. I want no remaining ties to him once I leave the company."
Bobby shrugged. "I wouldn't sell my stock to Appius—only you. I'll hold onto mine. You might change your mind and want it someday. And Appius has no idea I have the stock anyway."
Eric nodded. "I just wanted to give you the heads up and tell you that I won't be needing it now, so you can sell it."
"Okay," Bobby responded. "But what if Appius has something up his sleeve? Something more that he will do to you when you break the contract?"
"That's where I need your help," Eric said at a low volume. "The contract is clear about what I will lose if I break it—and I'm prepared for that—but I'm afraid he'll try to hurt Sookie. So I need information on him which will prevent that from happening."
"You're willing to blackmail him?" Bobby asked with a smile.
"Now I am. For Sookie. And," he paused, "for me too—_finally_."
Bobby smiled wider—almost wickedly. "I have some things already, some proof of his homosexuality. The scare of the scandal might be enough to force him to back off of you and Sookie once you breach the contract, but I'll try to find more."
"Bobby, I want to keep all this as far away from Sookie as possible."
"She'd want to stand with you," Bobby said cautiously.
"I know, and everything I tell her _will_ be the truth, but I don't want to have to tell her anything that might make her feel guilt. And I certainly don't want her incriminated in any blackmail that I must do later! And," he paused, "I also don't want her to know how far I'll go to hurt Appius if he tries to hurt us."
Bobby nodded. "I understand."
* * *
**A/N: Okay—so here's the second chapter. Many thanks to those of you who have already "favorited" and "alerted" this story! I know that "all human" stuff isn't as popular, so—in a lot of ways—I appreciate it even more that you have followed me to this tale! Thanks also for the comments about the last chapter! They are greatly appreciated and treasured.**
**I am due to turn back to **_**Uninvited**_** on Wednesday, so I'm not sure I'll have another chapter of this ready this week, but we'll see. The next section is a bit rough though—so it might need a bit more tweaking than I can do in a couple of days, but, again, we'll see. Regardless, the following Wednesday, I'll be back to this story. **
**Thanks again!**
**Kat**
**Remember to visit my blog if you wanna see pics. (californiakat1564 . wordpress . com)**
3. Chapter 3: The Cat and the Serpent
**Chapter 03: The Cat and the Serpent **
The first thing that Eric did when he got home was to check to make sure that everything of Sookie's was back in place as he _needed_ it to be. He breathed a sigh of relief to find that it was.
Courtesy of Bobby's forethought, a new phone had been delivered to the building that morning, and the SID card from Eric's old phone had been moved to it. He answered as it rang.
"Will you be ready in fifteen minutes?" Henry asked.
"Yes," Eric answered and then hung up.
He went to the kitchen—as far away from the bug as he could get—and called Octavia Fant, who was the woman from whom Sookie and he were getting their kitten. Sookie had heard about Octavia through Amelia. Octavia was, according to Amelia, an "eccentric," and for Amelia to say something like that about someone _else_ was pretty significant.
Octavia ran a very small and specialized animal rescue and adoption service. In particular, she would rescue pregnant female cats that were due to be euthanized by the animal shelter in her area. She would care for the cats and their kittens until the babies were weaned. Then she would find homes for all of them. Her service had become quite popular, so Sookie and Eric had been on a waitlist until their kitten had been born seven weeks before. Sookie and he had been the last in line to get a kitten from the litter, so they'd not picked their pet. All they knew was that the kitten was a boy and that he was yellow and white. Like expectant parents, they were anxious to meet him.
Eric asked Octavia if there was any way that he and Sookie could pick up the kitten that afternoon, despite the fact that they'd been told to come the next Sunday. He explained to the woman that he had a good reason and left it at that. The elder woman agreed since she was planning on completing the kittens' weaning process that same day.
Their kitten—Sookie's long-awaited birthday gift—would be coming home!
Eric sighed. He and Sookie had had a long discussion about where to put the litter box and had finally decided on the bathroom in the guest bedroom. Sookie had set things up the previous week when he'd had to spend long hours at the office with the Chinese delegation. He took a minute to ready the kitten's food and water dishes in the kitchen before making sure that the litter box was filled.
While he was in the guest bathroom, he got a text from Henry, telling him that the office bug was now officially "listening." Eric took a deep breath and went into his office. He made a point to shuffle a few papers before picking up the house phone. He dialed Liang's number first; it didn't take Eric long to find out that the Chinese delegation had everything they required. That done, he dialed Amelia even as he pulled the script Bobby had come up with from his pocket.
It had taken all the acting skills that Eric possessed to pretend to be affectionate with a woman other than Sookie when he left Amelia's brownstone that morning—though he'd flat out refused the suggestion that they kiss. It wasn't that he didn't like Amelia; it just seemed wrong to even touch a woman other than Sookie now. Even when Isabel had taken his hand the night before, he'd had to refrain from his instinct to pull away from his friend.
But he'd done what he needed to do. He'd given Amelia a long hug outside of her home and he'd even nuzzled her neck a little—just as they'd planned. But that was all he'd been able to do before his kissed her cheek and left in a cab. His only consolation was that he was positive that Sigebert had been snapping pictures of it all.
"You miss me already?" Amelia answered the phone in a sultry tone.
"You know I do," Eric replied huskily, trying to read his line like he meant it. All of his years of hiding his true feelings aided him greatly. "Why don't you come over tonight?" he asked. "That new blond hair of yours makes me want to do all kinds of things to you—_naughty_ things."
"Don't you think you were naughty enough last night?" she asked coyly. "I mean—I can't believe you went to a party with Isabel and then came over and fucked me—twice."
Eric chuckled. "I didn't _go_ to a party; it was here. And don't tell me you're jealous of Isabel."
"No," Amelia laughed.
"So—tonight?" Eric asked.
"Yes—definitely."
"How about 9:00?"
"I can't wait," she said hanging up.
Eric ended his call, left the office, and then texted Henry. Within a minute, Henry was calling him.
"The bug's signal is being intercepted again. You can come down the stairs of the fire escape. Blake's waiting in the garage with his car. 'The Bert' is across the street monitoring the front entrance and the garage exit. So just duck on your way out."
"Thanks Henry," Eric said.
"Don't mention it. Sookie's waiting."
* * *
Eric and Sookie had chosen the number of the gallery they would visit the previous morning—before she'd left for Amelia's house in Brooklyn. But now that seemed like a _very_ long time ago.
It was before Appius had Nora put a bug into Eric's office.
It was before Appius had Eric followed.
It was before Eric and Amelia had been forced to practically make out on Amelia's front stoop!
Sookie smiled softly. It was also before Eric told her that he was willing to change his whole life for her.
It was before he made clear that she was his priority.
It was before they talked about staying together for the rest of their lives.
It was before he asked her to marry him.
It was before they decided they wanted to have children together.
It was before she knew that her life with Eric would continue.
It was before she knew that love and happiness would continue to fill her existence.
_Yes_. So much had happened since they'd picked that day's gallery.
"You look beautiful," Eric said from behind her.
She turned around to face him.
"Hey you," she said, smiling up at him as he bent down to kiss her softly on the lips.
"What have you seen so far?" he asked.
"I just got here. I was waiting for you," she responded as she looked around Gallery 135, which was full of facsimiles of paintings from ancient Egypt. There were also two large sculptures, both of which depicted the goddess Sakhmet, who had the head of a lioness.
Eric and Sookie explored at a leisurely pace. Most Sundays, they walked apart, meandering in and out of each other's path, but that Sunday, they kept their hands tightly linked and walked through the gallery together.
"I have a surprise for later," Eric said with a boyish grin after they were done "discovering" the gallery.
"Oh?" she asked, enjoying his easy grin and the light in his eyes. "You wanna tell me over lunch?"
He nodded and led them out of the gallery. As always, they visited the place where they'd first kissed, Gallery 823, before leaving to grab their lunch.
"So what's the surprise?" Sookie asked as they made their way to the Great Lawn with their food.
"I called Octavia, and the kitten's ready to come home!"
Sookie squealed a little.
"I thought you'd be excited," Eric smiled.
Sookie rose up to her tiptoes and kissed him. "I thought we had to wait until next week."
"I told Octavia that we had a good reason for wanting the kitten early, and she said that he's pretty much weaned and ready for action."
"How will we get him home? We don't have our carrier with us."
Eric smiled again. "I brought it with me to the museum. Ben's holding it."
Sookie smiled widely. "I can't believe we're gonna have a kitten today!"
"Yeah," Eric said. "I know it sounds a little cheesy, but after yesterday, I just didn't want to wait for any part of our life to begin."
"That _is_ cheesy, Mr. Northman, but I like it," she said leaning in to embrace him.
* * *
Eric reveled in his Sundays with Sookie at the MET and in Central Park. They seemed sacred to him—a kind of church that fed his soul more than any religion he'd ever known. And—ironically—it was through them that he had begun to believe that God might really be out there, watching over him after such a long absence from his life.
As they always did on Sundays, Eric and Sookie had spent most of the morning looking through that day's gallery. Then they'd had lunch in the park. That day—it had been hotdogs from their favorite vendor.
Eric's favorite part of Sundays—by far—had become their time in the park, especially after they ate. Sookie had taken to bringing a thin blanket in her backpack, and they would lie on the ground if the weather permitted. Sookie would always prop herself up on her side so that she could write, and Eric would lie curled up so that his head was resting on the comfortable valley created above her hips. He especially enjoyed how she would unconsciously play with his hair as she gathered her thoughts. And he would often drift away into a nap.
After Sookie was done with her notes, they would return to the MET, chat with Ben and his crew for a while, and then go back to that day's gallery, where Sookie and he would talk about what they liked and disliked as they walked around the room again. Then—as always—Sookie would take her single picture to capture the piece that most struck her.
About two months before, Eric had finally told Sookie about the betting pool among Ben's crew, but instead of feeling self-conscious, Sookie had just laughed about it, and then—in typical Sookie fashion—she'd begun to bring a fresh-baked bag of cookies to the previous week's winner, thereby endearing herself to Ben's crew even more.
Yes. Eric loved their Sunday routine very much, but on that particular Sunday, they were both anxious to leave the museum a little early because they wanted to go get the newest member of their family.
Still, Sookie went through her process—though in a somewhat abbreviated form—recording the parts of the interesting gallery that she wanted to remember.
"There are a lot of cats in here," Eric observed as they walked around the gallery one final time.
Sookie giggled. "I know, after you told me we were getting the kitten today, I noticed that there were tons of cats in here—including these!" She pointed to the two large sculptures of Sakhmet.
Eric chuckled. "We could name the kitten Sakhmet."
"But he's a boy, and Sakhmet is a goddess's name," Sookie reminded.
"True," Eric observed. "Then—we should name him after your favorite today," he said with a mischievous grin.
"And you think you know my favorite today?" she asked with a challenging lilt to her voice.
"Well—I know _I_ have a favorite, and our favorites usually match up."
She walked over to him and embraced him. "So? What's his name gonna be then?"
"Ned," Eric answered confidently.
"Ned?" Sookie asked, looking around in confusion.
"Yeah," Eric said as he walked them over to a facsimile of a yellow striped cat. The facsimile was called "Cat Killing a Serpent"; it was from the Tomb of Sennedjem.
Sookie looked at the facsimile carefully. Indeed, it was the one she'd chosen for her favorite piece of the day. Even before she'd known about the impending arrival of the new member of their family, she'd been drawn to the image of the strong cat killing the serpent. Though the story behind the facsimile was not included in the museum's description of the piece, Sookie had recently copy-edited a book on Egyptian lore, and the story of the cat depicted in the facsimile had struck her then.
The tale of the cat and the serpent was from the Egyptian _Book of the Dead_. Ra, the sun god, took the form of a cat in order to destroy Apep, the spirit of darkness and destruction, who was hell-bent on stealing the light of the sun. In his jealousy, Apep, the snake, wanted to punish the well-loved Ra—which would, in turn, punish anyone who loved the light; he literally wanted to encircle the world and squeeze until it was only an empty, crushed shell. Apep was also unique among ancient Egyptian deities in that he could not be reasoned with; his evil consumed him. So he wanted to consume all good.
Sookie shivered a little. The facsimile had stood out to her from the moment she'd walked into the room. Eric called her "min sol" or "my sun" sometimes, but he was also the thing that most lit her own life. And she certainly viewed Appius as evil incarnate. She sighed. Appius was even more evil in her eyes because he focused seemingly all of his spite at his son, while pouring affection onto his other children, especially Nora. Her own mother, Michelle, had done the same when it came to Jason. Sookie often wondered how a parent could love one child so much and seemingly despise the other.
Yes. The story portrayed in the facsimile was appropriate, given Appius's most recent actions. However, when Eric had told her about getting their kitten that day, her choice had been solidified in her mind.
Sookie stared at the caption of the facsimile for a minute before she giggled. Looking at the name "Sennedjem," who was the occupant of the tomb where the painting had been found, she saw the word "ned" in the middle.
"Definitely Ned," she said, taking out her camera and snapping her picture.
* * *
There were seven kittens in the litter that Ned belonged to, but _their_ kitten stood out to Eric and Sookie from the moment they stepped into the room where Octavia was keeping Ned and his siblings. For one thing, he seemed to latch onto Sookie and Eric right away—quite literally. In fact, the little kitten seemed part dare-devil as his launched himself onto Eric's jeans and began to climb the long way up his leg.
"Just be careful that he doesn't do that on your bare legs," Octavia chuckled. "You got a scratching post like I suggested—right?"
"Yes," Sookie answered as she scooped little Ned off of Eric's jeans once he'd reached his mid-thigh. "He's so cute!" she exclaimed as she petted the purring ball of fur. "I can't believe he wasn't the first one picked."
Octavia chuckled. "He was the runt of the litter, and he was a little withdrawn from the others when he was younger—though you wouldn't know it now. In fact, that's one of the reasons why I didn't encourage you two to come and meet him when he was younger. For the first two weeks or so, I wasn't sure he'd make it, but he's been thriving lately." She winked at them, "And—as you can see—he's now the little extrovert, especially with people. He enjoys playing with his litter-mates, but he seems to enjoy playing with people even more."
Sookie grinned at the little yellow and white striped kitten that was squirming to get back to the floor. As soon as she put him down, however, he started to climb Eric's jeans again, much to the delight of both Eric and Sookie.
"Well, he seems to like you two. That's for sure!" Octavia laughed.
"So—where's Ned's mom?" Sookie asked.
Octavia explained that—for the past week—the mother cat had been let into the room only once a day to feed the kittens; otherwise, they were eating kitten food mixed with a little pet milk. Octavia also shared that she'd decided to keep Ned's mom since she was such a sweet cat. Generally, she found homes for the moms too, but Octavia had become attached to Ned's mom.
Octavia let Eric carry Ned with them as she led them out to her sunroom, where the mother cat was lazing on a comfortable-looking chair. The cat briefly looked up at them and then immediately laid her head back down as if to pretend that one of her kittens was _not_ in the room.
Octavia chuckled. "If you'd been holding little Ned like that six weeks ago, she would have gotten very agitated. However, when the kittens start to get sharp teeth, the momma cats start to prefer being _away_ from their offspring." She chuckled a little louder. "Bailey here complains every time I make her go see them now, but she was a really good momma until her milk started drying up. Today will be the last time I put her with them. Would you like to see Ned nurse for the last time?"
"Sure!" Sookie said as she stroked Ned's soft fur. He was currently sprawled out on his back in Eric's large hands; he looked as if he wanted to play and to sleep at the same time.
Octavia chuckled as she picked up Bailey. "Your little Ned there sleeps like the dead for most of the day, but he loves to explore when he's awake. I'm glad that you two have a big house for him to roam in. But I'll send you home with a water bottle."
"Water bottle?" Eric asked, as they followed Octavia back to the room where Ned's litter mates were. Bailey was wiggling with dissatisfaction.
"For my money," Octavia answered, "the best way to train a kitten not to scratch what you don't want him to scratch is to squirt him with a little water when he misbehaves." She entered the room and put Bailey into a little cat bed. Immediately sensing their mother was there, all the other kittens, who had been curled up asleep, popped up and ran over to her like vampires smelling fresh blood.
Octavia laughed, "_That's_ why Bailey's tired of them."
Eric chuckled as Octavia motioned for him to set Ned down near Bailey. Though Ned wasn't as rabid-seeming as the other kittens, he was excited at the prospect of milk, and it wasn't long before he was latched on to a teat. Bailey's expression could only be described as "long-suffering" in that moment.
"Now I always do a little basic training with my kittens to make sure that they behave." Octavia pointed over to the couch in the room. "For instance, they crawl all over that, but you don't see any claw marks because I squirt them if they start trying to scratch it. In fact, now all you have to do is shake the bottle, and most of them will stop doing whatever it was that they were doing before."
"So I assume, then, that we won't need to give Ned baths?" Eric asked.
"Not unless you like being clawed," Octavia chuckled. "Most cats hate water, and they keep themselves clean well enough. They are pretty self-sufficient really. A scoop of the litter box each day, and fresh water and food is all he'll need. I can already tell that y'all are gonna give him plenty of love and spoil him rotten. So he'll be a happy little lad."
Sookie smiled. "Will we have to train him to use the litter box?"
"Nope," Octavia responded. "He's already trained. Just make sure you show him where the litter box is right when you get home. And I always suggest that you feed the kitten near the litter box—at least at first. It'll help your Ned to establish his territory. And since he's a boy, be sure to get him neutered right at four months old. It's safe then, and he'll be young enough so that he hasn't yet felt the need to mark anything. He'd likely not feel the urge to mark his territory anyway, given the fact that you two have never had other pets in your home, but it's better to be safe than sorry."
Sookie nodded, even as she took some mental notes. Eric and she had already researched how to care for a kitten, and they'd even found a vet who was close to them and who got great reviews; however, Octavia was giving them some good practical advice.
Bailey seemed to have reached her limit and got up, leaving the kittens in a squirming pile behind her. Quickly she moved toward the door, and Octavia let her out with a chuckle.
"It'll be best to let his food settle for about half an hour before you take him—so that he won't get sick on the ride," Octavia advised, "but if you need to leave now, that's fine. Otherwise, I can show you around a bit."
"We're not in a hurry," Eric said, looking down at his watch. It was only 4:30 p.m.
"Good!" Octavia said. "I'll take you around to meet the various cats and kittens I have right now."
"So—uh—how did you start doing all this?" Sookie asked.
"After my husband died and my kids grew up and left, I had so much excess space that I almost decided to move, but I love this old house. My husband left me well-provided for, and, though I work part-time with Amelia at her shop, I was looking for something else to fill my time." She smiled a little. "My husband was always bringing in strays, and one day—about six months after he passed away—this pregnant cat showed up on my front stoop. And then things just went from there!"
Sookie smiled. "Amelia said that lots of people come by the store, looking to get one of your kittens."
"Yes," Octavia smiled. "I've already converted four of the rooms downstairs into what I call 'kitten stations.' I try to keep up a rotation so that I have litters at various stages," she explained, as she led them into a room where there was a pregnant cat sitting in a window seat.
"Wow! She looks like she's about to pop!" Sookie exclaimed as she reached out and let the cat smell her before petting it. She'd read to do that on a website.
"She is!" Octavia chuckled. "This momma cat's real sweet. You can feel the babies squirming around in her belly if you want."
Sookie moved her hand over the cat's belly and smiled widely. "Oh, my goodness!"
Eric reached out and touched the cat too. A look of awe settled onto his face, especially considering the fact that Sookie and he had talked about children only that morning.
Octavia smiled at the couple. "I go by the animal shelter I work with every two weeks or so and get another pregnant cat. They try to let me take the ones that are closest to their due dates, instead of euthanizing them."
"It's awful that they'll do that!" Sookie said with a frown. Though she understood that the stray animal population needed to be limited, she still felt bad for all the kittens who had been euthanized right along with their mothers.
"Well the man that runs the shelter I work with hates it too, but he has to follow city ordinances. Like I said, he keeps the mothers as long as he can, hoping someone will adopt them, and I try to take the ones like this momma—the ones who are nearing their time and haven't been adopted yet. I got this little—I mean _big_—girl only two days ago."
Next, Octavia led Eric and Sookie to a room across the hall where a litter of four tiny black kittens was lying next to their mother's warm body; their eyes were still sealed shut. The mother cat, who was also jet black, was bathing them. She hardly looked up from her task to regard her visitors.
"These kittens are only a week old," Octavia explained. "So the momma cat's really territorial about them. However, you can pick one up if you want. I try to get the kittens used to human touch."
Sookie bent down and picked up one of the black kittens. Bending down beside her, Eric also picking one up and stroked the wiggling kitten gently. After a minute or so, the momma cat started to look a little perturbed, so they put the kittens back against her and rose. Immediately, she started rewashing the two returned kittens.
Octavia chuckled. "Momma cats are funny. She's working on getting your scent off of them right now." Octavia led Eric and Sookie to one more room; inside was a litter of only two five-week-old kittens.
"If little Ned hadn't made it, this would have been your litter," Octavia said with a smile. "As you know, I put people on a waitlist and they get the litter they get. Otherwise, they'd all clamor for kittens like these."
"These are Persians—right?" Sookie asked, looking at the long-haired kittens.
"Yep," Octavia returned. "And they're pretty coveted. Usually I don't get pure breeds like this; however, this momma cat was brought into the pound when she was already extremely pregnant. In fact, the manager of the shelter called me and asked that I come get her right away. Thankfully, I had an empty room because she had her litter that very night!"
"Well they're cute," Eric said, "but I'm glad we got Ned. These have," he paused, "smashed noses. They look like something Sophie-Anne would want."
Sookie giggled. "I agree, but they _are_ cute. Of course, I think all kittens are pretty cute."
Octavia smiled and then led Eric and Sookie to her kitchen where she offered them some iced tea and went over some information with them. She didn't charge a fee for the kitten; however, she did take donations, which she used to keep up her service and to pay her granddaughter to help her with the cats. Octavia said that she would take any amount that they wanted to give, but her eyes grew momentarily wide when she read the number on the check Eric had given her.
Octavia talked to Eric and Sookie about the shots she would suggest for their kitten—though, since Ned wouldn't be around other animals, she explained that some immunizations weren't really necessary.
Sookie asked about whether they should let Ned out onto their terrace, and Octavia said that she'd never heard of a cat that had just jumped off of a balcony—like Sookie feared he might. She chuckled and informed them that cats' instincts and intelligence kept them from jumping anywhere unless they saw a good landing spot. She did suggest that they wait to take him outside until he was a little older, but that he'd be okay out there and would likely enjoy sunning himself outdoors. She also suggested that they plant a pot of cat grass for him to enjoy when he was outside.
When Sookie shared her fear that Ned might get hurt trying to get into the elevator, Octavia suggested that they use the spray bottle to train him to stay away from it if he seemed overly curious. She assured that he would learn soon enough.
Their business and chatting complete, Octavia led them back to the room where Ned and his litter were being kept. Eric and Sookie had bought a fabric carrying case for him since it had a soft bed inside, and—as Eric had been instructed—there was a towel in there too. The kittens, all curled together in what looked to be a milk coma, were sleeping soundly, so Octavia carefully lifted Ned and tucked him into the carrier. The kitten barely stirred.
"I know you'll enjoy him," Octavia smiled as she led Sookie and Eric to the door and handed Sookie a bag with a couple of cans of soft kitten food, some pet milk, an empty water bottle, and some brochures. There were several other identical bags on the table, so Sookie knew that each new set of "parents" got one, but she thought it was a nice gesture nonetheless, and she hugged Octavia and thanked her profusely for taking such good care of the newest member of her and Eric's little family.
* * *
**A/N: Well—it's late here, but I got you a third chapter for the week! I figured that Eric and Sookie could use a chapter with a little less stress, although we had a little at the beginning. I also wanted to take them back to the MET for a bit. **
**As you know, I'll now be moving to Uninvited for the next week or so. But **_**TtF**_** will return the week after that.**
**Thanks so much for all your wondering comments about this story! I appreciate all the "alerts," "favorites," etc. **
**XOXO,**
**Kat**
**Remember that you can see pictures—including one of Ned—on my WordPress. (californiakat1564 . wordpress . com)**
4. Chapter 4: We Shall Fight
**Chapter 04: We Shall Fight**
"_**We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender."—Winston Churchill**_
Other than a few nervous minutes for Ned when Eric and Sookie first got him into the taxi, the kitten slept on the ride to his new home. Although Tray texted to tell them that there was no sign of Sigebert, Eric and Sookie decided to play it safe by meeting him at the service entrance of Carmichael Tower.
In fact, Eric and Sookie had decided to play it safe for a while. They'd never gone into work together. Given the fact that Eric generally needed to arrive at least an hour before she did, that generally wasn't even an issue, but they often went for evening walks together along the Hudson. They decided to put those on hold—at least temporarily. Beyond that, it was really only the weekends that they had to be more careful about being seen leaving or arriving together, and they knew that Henry and his team would help.
Ned popped wide awake as soon as they got home, and his mission seemed to be to smell everything. Eric and Sookie carefully followed Octavia's instructions and took him to the room with his litter box first. While he was digging in it—seemingly intent to scatter a good deal of the litter on the floor—Sookie sat on the edge of the tub and watched the kitten, and Eric brought a little broom and dustpan from the utility room.
"We're gonna have to leave those back here," Sookie chuckled, gesturing toward the broom and then the floor.
Eric laughed and then felt almost proud when he saw Ned using the litter box for what it was meant to be used for before moving a seemingly huge pile of litter to cover his "work."
"Well, at least he seems to have learned where to take a shit quickly," he chuckled as he handed the water dish to Sookie, who filled it from the faucet. As soon as she set it down—on the other side of the room so that it wouldn't fall victim to Ned's future excavations in the litter box—the kitten ran over to it and took a drink. Meanwhile, Eric put a tiny bit of dry kitten food, moistened by water as Octavia had suggested, into the food bowl and set it down. Ned immediately chomped about half of it down before wandering out into the guest room to sniff around.
Eric and Sookie ordered pizza and spent the evening watching Ned's various discoveries or being his pillow when he decided to collapse for one of his frequent cat-naps. They soon learned that Octavia's assessment of their kitten was spot on. He did love to explore, but when he was ready to sleep, he slept like a log. He would find where Eric and Sookie were sitting, claw his way up Eric's jeans like a spelunker, and then settle onto one of his humans—sometimes both of them. When he would awaken, Eric or Sookie would always take him back to the guest bathroom, which they'd already started calling Ned's room, so that the kitten would continue getting used to his domain.
It wasn't until 8:00 p.m. that Eric and Sookie's mood became heavier as the first of their guests, Bobby, arrived. Amelia arrived a few minutes later, followed soon after by Pam. Henry and Thalia came up a few minutes after that, while Blake had stayed behind to babysit Thalia's kids in the home they all shared downstairs.
After the group met Ned, who thrived on the attention of the humans, Eric and Sookie got everyone drinks. Then they all settled into the lounge in the "gray" part of the house.
Everyone was amused when Ned crawled up Pam's designer slacks so that he could join the others on the couch. The look on Pam's face as she tried to figure out how to deal with the kitten, whom she immediately dubbed the "clothing cleaver," made everyone laugh—except for Pam.
Eric quickly got up and saved the kitten from "Aunt Pam" before bringing him to the opposite couch where Sookie, he, and Bobby had settled. The levity in the room quickly faded, however, as Eric began to tell Pam about what Nora had done the night before. He told her about the bug in his office, he told her about one of the Berts finding him at Amelia's brownstone, and then he told her about the plan to make it seem as if Amelia and he had been having a series of rendezvous so that Sookie would be kept out of everything.
"Is that why you dyed your hair?" Pam asked Amelia after Eric had finished speaking.
"Yeah," Amelia smiled. "Sookie opened the door for Eric last night, so the Bert might have glimpsed her. We thought it'd be better to play it safe and to make me a blonde."
"Good," Pam said. "Because when I saw you tonight, I was worried that you'd gone 'Single-White-Female' on me."
Everyone laughed as Pam leaned in and gave Amelia a little kiss. Given the fact that Pam wasn't generally one for public displays of attention, the gesture indicated her gratefulness more than any words could. Next, Pam got up and moved to the empty space next to Eric. She cuddled into his side for a moment before returning to her original spot.
The two siblings just looked at each other for a moment before Pam spoke up. "I've tried to hate Appius for your sake, but I can't. However, I want you to know that I love you _more_, bror, and it has now come down to a clear choice. And I pick you." She paused. "I swear that if our father gives me an ultimatum not to see you, I'll cut ties with him—even if it means that I have to leave NP. I have a hard enough time not kicking his ass as it is."
Eric smiled in appreciation. "It's important that you don't do that, Pam." He took a deep breath and looked at Sookie, who was looking back at him and smiling a little. Little Ned was lying curled up on her lap—oblivious to everything except the string on Sookie's hoodie.
Eric took another deep breath and looked around the room. He sighed. "Some of you know part of what I'm about to say, but Sookie and I feel it is important that you all know. We need your help, so you deserve to know. And Blake should know too," Eric said in Henry's direction. "Would you tell him for us?"
The ex-Navy SEAL nodded.
Eric took another deep breath. "My mother, Stella Larsson Northman, had a long-term affair with a man named Peder Lang. Though my parents had an open marriage, my mother hid her relationship with Peder. Complicating things was the fact that Peder, Stella, and Appius had a relationship altogether in college. Appius fell in love with both Peder and Stella." Eric paused. "From what I can tell, Appius thought that _he_ was the center of the relationship—that both Peder and Stella loved him, but _not_ each other. When he found out that they loved each other too, he couldn't stand it. He asked my mother to give Peder up to prove her love. She agreed and seemed to do just that. And then Appius broke ties with Peder."
"But your mother didn't really give Peder up," Thalia commented perceptively.
"No," Eric responded. "She chose Appius in _almost_ every way. She married him and was a good partner to him. And I believe that she loved him very much. However, a couple of times a year, she would meet Peder. My father found out right after she died. And he became certain that I was Peder's son." Eric raked his hand through his hair. "I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that Appius took it upon himself to," he paused, "punish me for my mother's infidelity, and he set into motion a plan to get me to sign away—to him—what remained of my maternal grandfather's fortune. I fell into his trap, and right after I merged Johan Larsson's company with NP, Appius hit me with the news that I was not his son. But," Eric scoffed ruefully, "the joke was on him. The DNA test showed that I was his."
"Lemme guess," Henry said, "he _didn't_ apologize."
"No," Eric said gravely. "His reaction was to blackmail me into signing a contract with him. It was a contract that I thought I could live with," he said, looking at Sookie. "But I was wrong about that."
"What does it entail?" Thalia asked warily.
"I am to become CEO of NP when I turn thirty-five; in exchange for _almost_ complete autonomy, I will have to report to Appius once a year and keep the company performing up to a certain standard."
"And if you don't?" Henry asked.
"Then Appius or someone he appoints will come in and take things over for a year, though I will stay on as CEO officially—at a much lower salary, of course. My term as CEO is to be twenty years, and—after that time is over—I am to be summarily dismissed. I will get a trust fund left for me by my grandparents, but I will be forced to sell all my NP stock to Appius or his agent. But—those are _not_ the parts of the contract that I can no longer live with."
"What are those parts?" Thalia asked.
Eric sighed. "Another clause entails that I have to marry before I turn thirty-five and that the woman must meet certain qualifications."
"And Sookie wouldn't be qualified?" Henry asked, his words terse and his jaw tightened.
Eric shook his head. "No. She wouldn't, but I _won't_ give her up."
"And you've known this all along?" Henry asked Sookie.
"Yes. Eric told me the truth from the start," she responded, smiling a little at the protectiveness in Henry's tone. "And I was ready to settle for the time we could have."
"But now we're both _done_ with settling," Eric said defiantly.
"What is the penalty when you break the contract?" Henry asked Eric perceptively. "I know that Appius Northman would have put one into your contract."
Eric nodded. "Yes. And there is really only one window during which I can feasibly break it too."
"His thirty-fifth birthday," Bobby clarified. "There is an 'escape clause' of sorts on that day; otherwise, he will be forced to pay Appius ten billion dollars."
Thalia whistled. "Geez!"
Eric nodded. "Geez indeed. And, if I couldn't pay, I'd have to plead guilty of stealing from NP. Suffice it to say that breaking the contract before or after my thirty-fifth birthday would likely land me in prison for fifteen years—at least."
Pam gasped.
Eric looked around at everyone. "But on my thirty-fifth birthday, I _am_ going to breach that contract. I'm _not_ going to let Sookie go."
Pam sat stunned for a moment. "You realize that Father won't allow you to be CEO then."
Eric nodded. "I know and I'm okay with that. But that's not all he's going to do."
"What will he do?" Henry asked.
"When I breach the contract, he will take my stock and my trust fund. He will also stop paying my grandmother her stipend—a stipend which provides most of her income. And he will immediately shut down my division at NP, firing everyone." Eric took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "A hundred and four people will be harmed when I break that contract, but I _have_ to break it." He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, it was to look at Sookie. His eyes held unshed tears. "I can't live like I'd been living before Sookie came into my life—not anymore."
She took his hand firmly, but gently. "Eric is going to warn the people in his division as he can and—if necessary—we'll try to help them financially until they are able to find other jobs." She squeezed his hand even as Ned bounced from her lap to his. "We'll do everything we can for them."
Eric sighed and gave her a little nod. "Yes. And I have a way to make sure that Mormor is taken care of too."
"I can help," Pam said.
Eric smiled at her. "Thanks."
"What about your home?" Pam asked, looking around the room.
Eric inhaled deeply. "I won't deny that I love it here, and I hope to find work that will let Sookie and me keep it, but it is just a collection of walls in the end." He looked at Sookie. "And home is wherever we can be together now."
She squeezed his hand again, trying to convey to him with her eyes just how grateful she was for his words and for what he was going to give up for her.
Eric garnered his strength from her. He took another deep breath and looked back at Pam. "I'll have to break ties to everyone in the family except you, Alexei, and maybe Gracie—if Tamara lets me stay in contact with her without Appius knowing."
"What about Appius Jr. You love him," Pam said.
"Once I breach the contract and go against Appius's wishes, you and I both know that he won't allow me access to A.J. I figure that Tamara may defy Appius and let me stay in contact with Gracie—though I don't want to create any trouble for either of them. Alexei will do what he wants. And I know that I won't lose you. Hopefully, when A.J. is older, I can initiate some contact with him so that he knows how much I want to be a brother to him, but I know that Appius will try to block it just to hurt me." Eric sighed. "He may very well give you that ultimatum you mentioned. Or he might fire you from NP."
Pam let out a haggard breath and nodded in understanding. "I will be prepared. But what will you do for work?" she asked her brother.
Eric sighed and dragged the hand that wasn't holding Sookie's through his hair. "I will try to get another job in publishing; however, Appius will likely attempt to interfere with those plans as long as I am in the States. Sookie and I might move to Europe or Asia so I can work there. Europe would make more sense since I can speak Swedish and French. I'd hate to leave New York, but if it comes to that, I'll have to. But—hopefully—Appius will forget that I exist and leave me alone."
"He won't," Pam said. "He'll try to keep hurting you."
Eric laughed ruefully. "That's what I figure. But we'll survive."
"And you'll really go with him if he has to move?" Pam asked Sookie.
"Yes," she answered without hesitation.
Eric squeezed Sookie's hand. "Once I'm completely free of Appius, Sookie and I are going to get married and start a family."
Pam smiled at them both. "You'll make each other happy."
"We already do," Eric said quietly.
Pam nodded. "Yeah. And as long as you promise that your little spawns won't be as hard on my Chanel as the clothing cleaver there, I'll happily be Aunt Pam to your teacups."
Eric chuckled. "No guarantees."
Bobby glanced at his watch. "I hate to interrupt one of Pam's rare _human_ moments," he said with a little snark and a wink in her direction, "but we'd better plan for what happens after 9:00 p.m. We have only fifteen or so minutes until show time."
Pam glared at Bobby as he distributed copies of the "script" he'd drafted for that night's "actors."
Meanwhile, Thalia opened her laptop and accessed the program that she was using to tamper with the listening device's signal.
* * *
Appius locked the door to his office and turned on his computer before pouring himself a glass of his favorite scotch and settling into his comfortable desk chair. Its upholstery was made from the skin of a porosus crocodile—a saltwater crocodile. The eighteen feet-long beast had been found in northern Australia in the Adelaide River. The saltwater crocodile was the largest of all reptiles. It was adaptable and deadly—a standard for all apex predators. Sitting in the chair reminded Appius of who he was, of who he needed to be, and of who Stella had _made_ him to be.
He glanced at the Revolutionary War era clock on his mantle and saw that it was 8:46 p.m. He knew that he would soon have a full report from Sigebert, and he'd received a text from Wybert a half an hour before. Apparently, Ms. Amelia Broadway—or Amelia _Carmichael_—hadn't been able to wait until 9:00 to visit Eric. She'd arrived at his home at a little after 8:00 p.m.
Appius savored his drink as his computer loaded the program he was using to overhear what went on in Eric's home office. So far, he had been quite amused by what he'd learned. Appius smiled. He would need to send Stan a thank you note for securing the listening device for him. An FBI "friend" of Stan's—a woman by the name of Lorena Krasiki—had gotten it.
Appius chuckled. He loved what a little bit of money and a good connection could accomplish. He also loved that—because of a little side-deal he'd made with Lorena—he now had proof that Stan was cheating on his wife. With Lorena! Of course, Stan had been sleeping with Appius's own mother for almost a decade; however, Appius would never allow his beloved mother to become embroiled in a scandal. But that wouldn't stop him from using other dirt against Stan—if it ever became necessary.
He took a long drink. While it was important to have dirt on one's enemies, he felt that it was _essential_ to have dirt on one's friends.
Appius stretched out his legs under his desk and leaned back in his chair. The program that monitored the listening device was actually quite ingenious. It cycled through any ambient noise and recorded only things that reached a certain decibel level. Thus, Appius was immediately able to tell that Eric likely hadn't been in his office since that morning. Sadly, Appius held out very little hope that he'd overhear anything of substance that night, and he lamented once again that he'd not been able to plant more bugs in Eric's home, but he comforted himself with the knowledge that he'd be at least be one step ahead of Eric when it came to the business and personal affairs his eldest child conducted from his home office.
Appius typed out a quick text to Lorena, asking her if she could get her hands on more listening devices—as well as a tracking device for Eric's personal vehicle. Eric didn't seem to drive his Corvette often; thus, Appius hadn't bothered with tracking it before. However, the elder Northman now felt the impulse to learn more about his son than ever.
Like a shark with blood in the water, he could sniff out that Eric had secrets just waiting to be discovered.
Sipping his whiskey, Appius listened once more to the recordings from that morning. Like a good little soldier, Eric had made sure that the Chinese delegation was taken care of before moving on to personal matters. Appius sighed and pulled out a cigar. He hated to admit it, but Eric couldn't be faulted for how he'd handled things with the delegation from Guangzhou Press—or most matters of business, as a matter of fact. Though Appius had criticized Eric the night before for his almost-subservient behavior to Mr. Li and his people, Eric's behavior was probably just what the Chinese executive had been expecting.
Unlike his pliable son, Appius hated the notion of adapting himself for anyone else. He'd always had the opinion that if people wanted to do business with him, then _they_ needed to adapt to him!
He chuckled as he listened once more to his son's side of a conversation with Amelia. It seemed that Eric had no compunction about sleeping around on Isabel Edgington. At first when he'd heard that Eric had rushed away from his home in order to meet up with a woman, Appius had been upset that Eric might fuck up things with Russell's daughter. However, once he read Sigebert's preliminary report giving the identity of the resident of the house Eric went to in Brooklyn, he had been much less dismayed.
The Carmichael family was at least as worthy of a potential alliance as the de Castros or the Edgingtons. Of course, Appius had hoped to manipulate Eric into marrying Freyda. Yes—he'd reveled in the notion of the erratic Miss de Castro driving Eric to an early grave. And, truth be told, he still had a few plans in reserve where the unbalanced woman was concerned, but if Eric continued being stubborn and kept insisting upon making his own choice about his wife, he could do much worse than Isabel or Amelia.
Heck—maybe the Carmichaels would be best. After all, when Copely's wife had been alive, Cope had been one of Appius's closest friends. However, Cope had changed from the single-minded, driven businessman he'd once been after he lost his life-partner. He'd pulled himself out of the New York social scene for the most part, and he now stayed in the Hamptons almost fulltime. And when Cope was in Manhattan, he tended to spend his time with his grandchildren—instead of at the exclusive University Club, where the most powerful men of the city congregated for society.
The elder Northman sighed. Truth be told, it had likely been Nora's behavior at the NP party two years before that had initiated Cope's withdrawal from Appius. But he didn't blame Nora for the situation. After all, Cope had been single, and Nora had always been attracted to powerful men. No—he blamed Eric. Eric had been the one to escalate the situation by literally pulling Nora away from Cope and causing a spectacle. Appius pushed his fingers against the bridge of his nose to alleviate the tension that was building there. If Eric had just left things alone that night, Nora and Cope may very well have gotten together.
However, if Eric married Amelia Carmichael—or Broadway or whatever she wanted to call herself—it might work out well to Appius's advantage. And it might help him to reestablish his friendship with Cope as well.
In fact, Amelia was just as good of a choice as Isabel in most ways. Sadly, Amelia wasn't an only child, but she would inherit a good deal of money nonetheless, maybe even more than her brother since Paul Carmichael would likely inherit the company. The Carmichaels were "old money," and they had loads of it. Yes—Appius thought—the introduction of Amelia into the scenario wasn't bad at all. Now—if Eric fucked it up with one of the women, he'd have the other to fall back on.
His cigar trimmed and lit, Appius enjoyed a few puffs before opening and reading Sigebert's full report, which had just arrived in his in-box.
Sigebert had arrived outside of Eric's building the night before only a couple of minutes before Eric left it; luckily, however, Sigebert had been able to follow the cab that took Eric to Brooklyn. As he drove by the house, trying to get a glimpse of who answered the door, Sigebert had only seen a blonde pull Eric into the brownstone. And by the time he'd parked and returned to scope out the building, there was no sign of anyone. He'd caught a glimpse of someone an hour later, but the lights had been turned off before he could get a clear view. Given that the occupants of the home were obviously in for the night, Sigebert had returned to his car and contacted his connections in order to discover the identity of the woman Eric was visiting.
Appius scrolled through the pictures of Eric and Amelia, which Sigebert had snapped that morning and which were included in his report. Appius had actually seen the girl—Amelia—a few times, though it had been several years before. And even though the girl's hair was now a different color, Appius had no trouble recognizing her. She was the spitting image of her mother.
It certainly seemed that his son was quite "close" with her. And that supposition had been confirmed by the phone call exchanged by them about an hour later once Eric had returned home. Sigebert had watched Eric's building for another few hours before leaving in order to continue his research on Amelia. Appius chuckled. Apparently the eccentric girl ran some kind of Wiccan/magic shop in the Village. Appius didn't have a problem with that, however. In many ways it would be better if Eric married a relatively mindless or "flighty" woman. Then, he'd control her money, which Appius figured Eric would use to expand the company, even though he'd ultimately get no return for his troubles.
With satisfaction, Appius leaned further back in his chair and thought about his son's desperate need to please him—to earn his approval. Of course, he would never give it, but it was amusing to watch Eric squirm for it.
After Appius had discovered that Eric was his biological son, he had briefly considered trying to accept the child and building a relationship with him, but Eric would be forever tainted by his mother in Appius's eyes. He was too much like her. And—if anything—Appius's hatred for Eric continued to grow with each passing day.
But that didn't seem to matter at all to Eric. Appius could still tell that the boy longed for acceptance and love. God knows, Appius had done his best to make sure that he'd never found either. Appius lamented the fact that Eric derived any pleasure from his relationships with Isabel and Amelia, but—at the end of the day—he knew that they were relationships based on position and convenience, not love. At best, Eric would have a marriage like the ones Appius had had with Tamara or Beth or Sophie-Anne. All of those relationships had been profitable, but none had been personally satisfying to Appius—beyond the children the women had given him.
Appius also hated the fact that Eric found pleasure in his work, but—then again—Appius knew firsthand that work was not a strong enough elixir to make someone content. Eric clearly craved family and love, and as long as Appius was able to control Eric's access to those things, he would be able to easily maintain control over his son. He just needed to make sure that Eric never found out about John Northman's Will. Appius scoffed. He refused to acknowledge John Northman as his father anymore—not after his betrayal!
He took several deep and calming breaths. Given the fact that only he, his mother, Nora, and Cataliades knew about the Will, the chances of Eric learning of it weren't great. However, Appius wouldn't put it past his father to have left Eric a clue or a letter regarding the Will's contents, and that possibility was what Appius feared the most.
Meanwhile, Appius would continue to dangle just enough carrots in front of Eric in order to keep him in line. Relationships with his siblings were definitely some of those carrots. For some reason Appius couldn't fathom, all of his other children seemed drawn to Eric in some way; even Nora was reticent about doing Eric harm, though Appius had been able to use her loyalty to him in order to get her to do what he needed.
Appius figured it was natural for Pam to be somewhat close to her brother. Appius hadn't liked it, but she had spent quite a bit of time with Eric when they'd both visited Stella's parents in Sweden. Appius had hated letting Pam have anything to do with the Larssons, especially Elsa, who was just as duplicitous as her daughter in Appius's opinion. However, Appius had to allow it so that he wouldn't show his hand too soon.
Luckily, Eric had clearly never told Pam anything about the paternity test; otherwise, she would have confronted him about it.
Appius chuckled. No—Pamela was his spitfire and had never been able to keep anything close to the vest; thus, he would know if Eric ever tried to turn her against him.
Appius took a puff of his cigar and considered Eric's relationship with his other children. Over the years, Alexei and Eric had become relatively close during the few weeks when he was in the house for his winter breaks. Appius had been enraged when he discovered that Eric had taught Alexei how to swim. Appius had been planning to secure the boy lessons since Alexei had been somewhat frightened of the water.
Eric's teaching Alexei had forever raised Eric in Alexei's estimation. Even now, when Alexei chose to come home for Christmas—which he didn't do often—his middle son would seek out Eric to speak with. There was something about Eric that seemed to calm down his younger brother, and—more than once—Appius had thought about asking Eric to speak with Alexei regarding his wild antics. But in the end, Appius didn't want to encourage that relationship or give Eric any position of value in the family.
Then there were Gracie and Appius, Jr., both of whom had gravitated toward Eric even in their infancy and even though Eric was so rarely in the house. Appius wasn't able to fathom how Eric so drew them to him, but the elder Northman had and would continue to use that knowledge to keep Eric on his hook.
And—of course—Appius knew that Eric loved NP, especially his own division, which was growing and flourishing.
Appius smiled. Yes—he had ultimate control over everything that Eric valued or wanted. And the best thing was that Eric had no idea of the control that he _could_ have—if he knew of John Northman's Will. Appius was determined to keep it that way.
As Appius puffed on his cigar, he was surprised when the program running the surveillance equipment clicked. That meant that there was a live signal. Appius smiled in anticipation.
"So _this_ is where you work when you're home," a female voice said.
_Amelia_—Appius thought to himself.
"What? You wouldn't call what we just did in the bedroom _work_?" came Eric's smooth reply.
Amelia giggled. "I'd call _that_ a work out."
Eric chuckled and then Appius heard a muffled sound that seemed to indicate that the couple he was listening to was sharing a kiss.
"I want to take you on my desk," Eric practically growled.
"Mmmm," Amelia responded. "That sounds nice, but I'd rather have you in your hot tub—as you suggested earlier."
"Why not both?" Eric asked gruffly as there were more muffled noises, this time accompanied by moans and grunts.
Appius was about to turn off the system, given the fact that he didn't want to hear his own son having sex, when he heard a phone ring in Eric's office. He sat forward with interest, wondering who could be calling.
* * *
**A/N: Hello all! Well—it's my week for working on this story! My goal is to get you at least one more chapter by this coming Tuesday (Wednesday, I switch back to **_**Uninvited**_**.) But—if you are following that story—you may know that I've had an avalanche of essay come in, so I'm working on my stories only during grading breaks (which translates to only an hour or two of "fun work" a day). **
**Thanks so much for all of you who continue to read and support this story! I appreciate it more than I can say! It's so odd b/c **_**Uninvited**_** has so many more followers and reviewers than this story (probably b/c not as many people read the all-human stories). But that means that ****every single review/comment**** I get for this one is "more treasured" in a way. You all have been on this journey with me for a long time, and I wanted to make sure that you knew how thankful I am for that! **
**XOXOXO,**
**Kat**
5. Chapter 5: Purgatory
**Chapter 05: Purgatory **
_ "I want to take you on my desk," Eric practically growled._
_ "Mmmm," Amelia responded. "That sounds nice, but I'd rather have you in your hot tub—as you suggested earlier."_
_ "Why not both?" Eric asked gruffly as there were more muffled noises, this time accompanied by moans and grunts._
_ Appius was about to turn off the system, given the fact that he didn't want to hear his own son having sex, when he heard a phone ring in Eric's office. He sat forward with interest, wondering who could be calling. _
"Shhhh," Eric requested of his companion, who let out a muffled giggle.
"Hello Isabel," he said a moment later, obviously having answered the phone.
There was a pause.
"No—I'm just hanging out with Amelia. What's up?" Eric asked.
Appius chuckled at his son's brazenness.
A few moments later, Eric's voice was heard again. "Sure. I'm free October 13? What's the event?" he asked.
There was another pause.
"Yes. That sounds fine. I assume it's black tie?"
Another pause.
"Alright then. Oh—and we're still on for the fifth—right?"
Another pause.
"Good. And, Izzy, remember you can spend the night then if you wish."
After another pause, Eric chuckled and then obviously hung up the phone.
"What's so funny?" Amelia asked.
Appius was curious too.
"Isabel just said that she'd be busy with her young boy toy after the event on the fifth," Eric laughed.
"So—he's really just nineteen?"
"Yeah—or twenty."
"And he was an intern at her father's company?"
"Yeah."
"Did they get together while he was working for her—_under_ her?" Amelia giggled.
"No. You know Izzy. She's too careful about that kind of thing. She waited until he was done with the summer internship to start up something with him."
"Is it serious?"
"Oh God no!" Eric responded. "She's just toying with him."
"Kind of like I'm toying with you?" she purred.
Appius heard more muffled noises and then an out-of-breath Eric.
"_Exactly_ like that."
Amelia giggled. "Well—I suppose you're toying with me too. So it's only fair"
"Yes—it's all _very_ convenient."
"Do you really like the blond hair?" she asked. "I'm thinking of making it permanent—at least for a while," she giggled.
"I love it. And temporary permanence sounds about right," he chuckled.
"Good," she responded. "So—Isabel really has no problem with knowing I'm here with you? Ravaging you?"
"Of course not!" Eric exclaimed. "Izzy knows that you and I just fuck. And it's not like she and I will ever be exclusive—even after we marry."
Appius sat forward in his chair a little more, now riveted by the information he was gleaning from the conversation.
"I'd think you'd want to marry for love," Amelia said with a little pout in her voice.
"Why would anyone do that?" Eric asked incredulously. "My father may be a rat bastard, but he's got _that_ aspect of life right on."
Amelia laughed. "Do you really hate the great and powerful Appius Northman?" she asked dramatically.
Eric sighed. "No."
"He does seem a little hard on you—at least, according to Isabel."
There was a momentary lull in the conversation as if Eric were thinking about his response.
"My father is a hard man, and I did hate him for a while, but we've come to an understanding—he and I. We even have a contract."
"A contract?"
"Yes. The basics are that I get married before I turn 35—to someone who meets his set of standards, of course—and I become CEO for a couple of decades. After that, I should be ready to retire anyway. It's a win-win."
"And—of course—your father would approve of _perfect_ Isabel Edgington and her _perfect_ fortune," Amelia said sarcastically.
"You know—he'd approve of you too," Eric responded seriously. "And I think _I _would prefer you too. You're so," he chuckled, "flexible."
Amelia giggled. "You know I don't want to get married, and you know I usually like women too."
Eric laughed out loud. "All the better! Just think of the threesomes we could have."
"Oh I have," Amelia answered. There were more muffled noises after that and the sound of furniture scraping on the wood floor.
"Mmmm," Eric sounded. "You and I could fuck like rabbits for years to come, sweet Amelia. We could have a couple of kids. And we could maintain our independence in most ways."
"No thanks," she said a little breathlessly. "No offense, but I'm not sure I'd want you for years, and I _definitely_ don't want to shoot out any brats."
"Well—if you change your mind, let me know." He sighed. "I'm ambivalent about the kids' thing too," he said flippantly. "But I have to produce or adopt at least one according to the terms of the contract. But—no matter—there's no reason why you and I can't continue to have our fun even after Izzy and I marry—if we want."
"When are you planning to do that?" Amelia asked.
Appius sat forward a little more.
"At the last fucking possible minute: the weekend before I turn thirty-five," Eric laughed. "We've decided not even to get publicly engaged. We'll just elope in Vegas when the time comes. Thankfully, Izzy isn't the romantic type, and she wants her freedom for as long as possible—just like I want mine."
"But you'll still be free," Amelia purred.
"Yes," Eric said, "but Izzy and I will both have to be more," he paused, "discreet, and we've agreed not to see other people until she's pregnant. Hopefully, that doesn't take too long."
"I can't really see you as a father," Amelia chuckled.
"I like kids, _and_," he paused dramatically, "I can afford a nanny,"
They both chuckled.
"Plus," he added, "Izzy wants a couple of kids, and she's told me that she wants them to be mine, so as long as you don't change your mind, I think she's my best choice."
Amelia laughed. "Don't ever let her hear you say it that way. It sounds like you see her as some kind of consolation prize."
Appius could almost picture Eric shrugging. "No—I just see marriage as an obligation that I have to fulfill: a hoop to jump through." He sighed audibly. "Anyway, I think I'd prefer you. You make me laugh more, and Izzy seems to prefer her younger men when it comes to sex."
Amelia giggled. "So your ego's been bruised."
Eric chuckled. "Maybe—a little. That's why I need you to stroke it," he said suggestively.
"Mmmm," she sounded.
Appius heard a few muffled noises.
"Like this?" Amelia purred.
"Yes," Eric panted.
There were more muffled noises and the sound of a grumble.
"Hey—why'd you stop?" Eric asked with a pout.
"I don't want your ego to get too big," she said coquettishly.
He chuckled. "You didn't complain about its size earlier."
"Hmm. Anyway, I'm still curious. Why Izzy? I mean—she's nice and all, but why be with someone who doesn't prefer you?"
Eric scoffed. "It's not like _you_ would prefer me if we were together for long either. And I don't want a vapid wife with no independent thought! No. The thing that you and Izzy have in common is that you are both capable of having an intelligent conversation—at least on occasion," he added teasingly.
Appius heard what sounded like a smack to Eric's bare shoulder.
"Hey," he said with mock injury. "I'm just saying that I appreciate both you and Izzy—a lot more than I would some mindless debutante who trailed me around like a romantic schoolgirl. And I don't have to lie to you. Neither of you has any false notions of what I can give you."
"I suppose that's a comfort," Amelia said after some consideration.
"More than you know. But—realistically—Isabel is the better choice for me for marriage."
"Hey!" Amelia cried out, sounding a bit offended.
Eric chuckled. "Hey yourself. _You_ are the one who said that you don't want kids or marriage. And Isabel _does_—with me. Of course, if you change your mind in the next three and a half years, that's a different story, and we could have this conversation again."
"I won't be changing my mind, Eric," Amelia warned.
"Fine," he responded somewhat indifferently. "Izzy and I already have an arrangement anyway. And, frankly, as long as I find someone willing to bear my children and to give me my freedom, I'm fine with almost anyone."
"As long as she meets your father's standards," Amelia reminded.
"Of course," Eric said. "In fact, that's why I'm not really fucking around with too many other women right now. For one thing, I prefer fucking you, and Izzy's nice for a lay sometimes as well. Other women just complicate things."
"You're such a sweet talker," Amelia deadpanned.
"Would you prefer I talk dirty to you?" Eric purred suggestively.
"Abso-fucking-lutely," Amelia returned, "_especially_ if you do it in the hot tub."
"I thought we were starting on the desk," Eric said.
"I'm leaving in an hour and I want the tub," Amelia insisted.
"Fine," Eric chuckled.
Appius heard what seemed to be Eric picking Amelia up.
"We'll do it your way this time," Eric said, "but I reserve the right to fuck you on my desk another time."
Amelia giggled.
Appius listened to footsteps leave the room and then something that sounded like a door closing. And then there was silence. He got up and poured himself another Scotch before returning to his seat.
* * *
The fifteen minutes that Amelia and Eric read through their lines for Appius's benefit was definitely the most awkward fifteen minutes of Sookie's life. However, she knew that it was probably much more awkward for Amelia and Eric—especially Amelia.
The moment that Eric had read through his script—complete with stage directions from Bobby—Eric had threatened to rip it _and_ Bobby in two. However, then Bobby clarified that the things he had called the "extra bits"—which included the kissing and the moaning and the grunting and the pawing and the pushing around of items on the desk—were meant for Eric and Sookie to do.
_While Amelia was in the room_!
Hearing that, it had been Sookie who had almost torn up the script. However, Bobby had convinced Eric and Sookie that it would be best if a little fooling around was thrown into the performance so that it sounded more authentic. And since Eric and Amelia certainly didn't want to fool around with each other, Sookie would be "filling in" for that part of the act.
Bobby would have volunteered himself and Pam to do that part, but the fewer people in the room, the better. Plus, if the looks passing between Pam and Amelia were any indication, they were probably going to be moving toward that more exclusive relationship Pam had been wanting, and Bobby didn't want to throw a wrench into that by making Amelia witness him playing tonsil hockey with her soon-to-be girlfriend.
Eventually, it was decided that Sookie would already be sitting on Eric's desk when Thalia relinquished control of the listening device. Eric and Amelia would then walk into the office together and begin their lines. And when Eric was supposedly fooling around with Amelia, he would actually be fooling around with Sookie. Bobby led the reluctant actors through a rehearsal of sorts, and then to ensure that it wouldn't sound as if Amelia was too far away from Eric, it was determined that Eric would have to lift Amelia up on the desk before the first "make-out" session with Sookie. At Sookie's insistence, Amelia swore that she would close her eyes during those parts.
So that he wouldn't steal the show, so to speak, Ned was left with Henry and Bobby since "Aunt" Pam refused to watch out for him. Meanwhile, from the master bedroom, Thalia had pretended to be Isabel and had called Eric during the scene. Then she'd moved to the sitting room where she'd awaited Eric's signal to take back control of the listening device.
In truth, the performance had gone flawlessly, and despite the fact that they were play-acting, the passion between Eric and Sookie had flared as it always did. The only hitch had come when Eric had to lift Sookie from the desk once the show was over. Amelia had been unable to miss the erection Eric had gotten from pawing Sookie, and she'd gasped and then giggled a little. Thankfully, those sounds had fit with the script.
Right after the "performance" was over, Thalia hijacked the signal from Appius's bug again. And then the group moved back to the gray lounge after Eric and Sookie had made sure Ned had some kitten chow and fresh pet milk. They were happy to hear from Henry that their little guy had visited "his" room and his litter box on his own while they were away from him.
The group made small talk while Bobby and Thalia refreshed everyone's drinks.
Right as the duo reentered the room with several newly opened beers, Henry received a text from Rasul, which indicated that "the Bert" who'd been staking out the building had just left.
A collective sigh of relief spread around the room.
"Do you really think it worked already?" Sookie asked nervously as she leaned into Eric so that Ned could settle onto them both.
Bobby and Eric shared a look, and then Bobby nodded.
"It likely did work, but I'll be keeping an eye on Sigebert and Wybert for a while—just to be sure," Bobby said.
"What if they see you watching them?" Eric asked pragmatically.
Bobby rolled his eyes. "They won't see me, and you know it. Those buffoons stick out like sore thumbs; you know that the only reason you missed the Bert yesterday was because you were . . . ." He paused.
"Freaking out?" Eric asked with a hint of a smirk.
Bobby smirked back. "Yeah."
"Just in case, I should probably leave in half an hour or so—since that's when I said I was going to," Amelia said, looking at Pam.
Pam took that as her cue to get up. "Then let's make the most of that time," she said to Amelia. She reached her hand out to the other woman, and her expression softened markedly when Amelia stood with her.
Pam looked at Eric. "Can I hitch a ride to work tomorrow?"
Eric nodded. "Sure—but I'm leaving at 6:00 a.m."
Pam cringed a little, but then nodded in affirmation as she led Amelia toward the elevators after kissing Eric on the cheek.
"Are they together now?" Henry asked in Bobby's direction. "_Together_-together?"
"That seems to be what Pam wants," Bobby indicated.
"Amelia too," Sookie smiled. "At least that's what I think she wants."
"And now all they have to do is communicate that fact with each other," Thalia observed dryly. "And I'll wager fifty bucks that it takes them a year to get that done."
Everyone in the room chuckled at the truth of that statement before Henry turned serious. "Tray took advantage of the timeframe between the Berts' visits and installed a camera pointing directly toward where they've been stationing themselves. The camera's well-concealed, so they're unlikely to spot it. As long as the Berts stay predictable, which I'm sure they will, we'll know when one of them is here, and we'll text you, but—for now—I think it's best if Sookie doesn't use the front entrance."
Eric nodded, even as Sookie went to protest. "But I have to leave the building to get to work."
"Rasul or I can drive you to the 86th Street station in the mornings," Henry said, his voice firm.
"And when she comes home?" Eric asked.
"_She_ can talk for herself," Sookie said. "And _she_ likes the walk home. So _she's_ gonna keep doing it."
Eric looked at her with concern in his eyes.
"But I'll text Henry when I'm a block away," Sookie sighed, trying to ease Eric's fears, "and I won't come in through the main entrance."
Henry smiled at Sookie. More and more every day, she was speaking up for herself, and the little spitfire, who was coming into her own, was becoming even more endearing to him.
Eric looked at Henry, who quickly nodded in agreement to the plan.
Thalia spoke up even as she was checking something on her laptop. "I have some information about the listening device."
"What is it?" Sookie asked nervously, leaning into Eric a little more. Ned, now completely stretched out onto his back in the crack at the juncture of their thighs, didn't move.
"Just as I thought when I first saw it," Thalia said cautiously, "it's Government Issue, but it's not next-generation. The SEALs are using more sophisticated, passive devices, which are a lot more difficult to detect," Thalia informed. "The one Appius is using is passive—in that it only activates when the sound goes above a certain decibel level—but it generates a continuous signal. It's the kind of thing the FBI was using ten or so years ago."
"How do you know all that?" Eric asked.
Thalia shrugged. "Part of my job in the Navy was sweeping for surveillance equipment. We had a lot of locals helping us out, but it was sometimes difficult to tell friend from foe."
Eric nodded in understanding, once more amazed at the service both Thalia and Henry had done for their country.
"Are you sure you're not going to have a problem controlling the signal?" Sookie asked.
"Nah—that part's easy," Thalia assured. "I'm just using a simple hacking program to hijack Appius's signal."
"You should call Isabel tomorrow," Bobby said to Eric, "and explain what's going on—at least as it pertains to her."
"Will she help?" Henry asked.
"Yeah," Eric responded. "She'll help. This doesn't change anything between Isabel and me—not really. And I think she'll definitely be willing to pretend that we have a secret marriage arrangement, especially since we sort of did."
"She won't be bitter—when you tell her that's off?" Thalia asked.
Eric shook his head. "No. We were each other's back-up plan, but it's not like there is an emotional attachment between us—not beyond friendship, at least."
Bobby nodded. "Eric's right. Isabel is much too pragmatic to be vindictive."
"And," Eric added, "things might be even easier for her after tonight. Given what we let Appius hear, it won't matter if Isabel's seen with other men. Just as long as Appius thinks we're going to elope right before my thirty-fifth birthday, nothing else we do will really matter—as long as she doesn't decide to marry anyone else in that time, that is."
Bobby sighed. "We can cross that bridge if we come to it. Meanwhile, you just need to be careful."
* * *
"This little guy is going to cramp my style," Eric chuckled. He and Sookie were facing each other in their bed, and little Ned had planted himself between them so that he could receive petting from both of them.
"You seemed to manage earlier," Sookie said with a coy smile.
He chuckled. "Yeah—I have to hand it to the little fella. He definitely seemed to know when to make himself scarce."
"He was probably scared of all the noises you were making," Sookie smiled shyly as she moved her petting to Eric's bare chest.
"The noises _I_ was making?"
"Mmm hmm."
"What about your noises, Miss Stackhouse?"
"What noises?" she replied with false ignorance, even as a blush spread across her cheeks. In truth, both Eric and she were almost always very noisy when they made love.
"Shall I remind you, min älskare?" Eric asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I think you'd better," she purred, even as the other purring creature on the bed took the hint and jumped off the bed so that he could further learn his new territory and get away from the earthquake about to happen on the bed.
* * *
Appius smiled as he took a puff on his second Cuban cigar of the night. It was a "special occasion," after all, and he felt like celebrating.
Everything was falling into place perfectly.
He had been relieved to learn that Eric already had an arrangement in place with Isabel Edgington. Appius himself was a big believer that marriages were best when the couple got together based on similar goals, versus antiquated notions of love. The only time he'd ever married for love had ended disastrously. It seemed that Eric was—unwittingly—a chip off the old block in that he recognized that "business-type" marriages were best.
He sighed. Of course, it would be better if Eric were miserable with someone like Freyda, but to live a half-life was the next best thing. It was—after all—the kind of purgatory in which Appius had been forced to live ever since he'd learned of Peder and Stella's betrayal.
He closed his eyes. They were the two people for whom he would have given his life. Ironically, in the end, he _had_ given up "life" _because_ of them—because of their duplicity.
Whoever said that purgatory was better than hell was a fucking idiot! It was just a different kind of hell—a worse one—for it was close enough to heaven so that Appius knew what he was truly missing.
He took a long swig of his scotch and then opened the bottom drawer of his desk. He reached into the back of the drawer, a trek that his hands had taken so many times over the years that he didn't even need to look. He pulled a well-worn picture out, but kept it face down on his desk for a moment.
Appius sat back and stared at the yellowed paper, even as he listened to the recording of Eric and Amelia again.
He sighed. Eric was behaving just as Appius wanted him to. Clearly, Eric seemed determined to fulfill their contract, which was all Appius could ask for. And—even better—Eric was on his way to a loveless, empty marriage of convenience.
A purgatory.
"It's what he deserves," Appius grumbled into the empty room. "_Her_ son doesn't deserve to know love," he continued, "because she took love away from me."
He flipped the picture over and saw the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Even after all these years, it still affected him—still made his throat tight and his eyes burn.
The image had been captured moments after Eric had been born. Appius had cut the cord and then watched in awe as the doctor placed the wiggling boy onto his mother's chest. Immediately, Eric had stopped squirming and crying and had looked upward to find the sound of his mother's voice.
Two sets of brilliant blue eyes had locked tenderly together.
_That_ was the moment captured forever on film—the best moment of Appius Northman's life.
His beloved wife. His beloved son. His future. His happiness. His love. His everything.
His fleeting heaven.
Now—his purgatory.
* * *
**A/N: Well—this chapter required less revision than I thought it would so it's out ahead of schedule. That means that, despite the grading, I **_**might**_** be able to get one more chapter to you before Wednesday. **
**Thanks for all the comments and support I got for the last chapter! I appreciate those of you who take the time to remind me that this story is loved, even if it doesn't have as many followers as my others. Truth be told, as I said in one of my replies, I would write it even if I were the only reader because the story is so close to my heart. And—I know that those of you who are still with me feel the same. And I treasure that fact! **
**So—that's it for September. The next chapter will jump to late December-and you know what that means? Yep-that will put us closer to the first chapter of **_**Comfortably Numb**_**. Was that chapter an "act" for Appius's benefit? Or was it real? I will tell you that it wasn't a dream. I've been getting PM's asking if I was going to Bobby Ewing you. (Does anyone still know that reference? LOL) I'm not going to do that. I swear! That chapter was not a nightmare that Eric or Sookie was having, but nice try. ;) **
**That said, I'm not going to answer whether the first chapter was an act or real right now. For that—you'll have to stay tuned. **
**Kat**
6. Chapter 6: Reframed Corners
**Chapter 06: Reframed Corners**
_Thursday, December 27, 2012_
Snow had been falling in the city since the day before, and even though there was not much accumulation on the ground, large flakes still fluttered through the air almost playfully.
"The city is so quiet when it snows," Sookie mused from her and Eric's position in the hot tub. Neither of them was ready to get out just yet. The combination of the intermittent flakes and the hot water was intoxicating. Moreover, they were both feeling lazy after their recent love making.
Eric sighed.
"What is it?" she asked. After six months with him, she knew all of his sighs. And she knew that one had been _weighty_.
"I don't want to go into the office today," he sulked a little.
"Poor baby," she giggled as she leaned up to kiss him.
"You get to stay here all cozy."
"And naked," she grinned.
He groaned. "Now I _really_ want to stay home."
Sookie giggled. "Sorry—you'll just have to hurry up and get your meeting over with so that you can get back and resume nakedness with me."
Eric sighed again, though somewhat less heavily than before. "Why Appius wanted this update about China today is fucking beyond me."
"Is it?" Sookie asked, eyebrow rising.
"No," Eric admitted. "I know that Appius just wants to yank me around by bringing me in on what was meant to be a vacation day."
"Exactly," Sookie said. "So just go in, have the meeting, listen to his idiocy for an hour or two, and then come home and forget about it."
"I like the sound of that last part," he said nuzzling her neck.
"We should probably get out of this tub before I _literally_ turn into a prune," Sookie sighed, looking at her water-logged fingers.
"Okay," he agreed, not worrying at all about his nudity as he stood and helped her up. Sookie was nude as well, though she was still not all that comfortable going _au naturel_ outside of their home, even though Eric had convinced her that there was no way anyone would see them in their hot tub unless a helicopter was hovering right next to their terrace.
He chuckled as she quickly covered what she called her "lady bits" with a towel and started drying off even as she hurried into the house. At a much more leisurely pace, he turned off and then covered the hot tub before grabbing his own towel. He didn't bother to dry off much because he knew that Sookie would be heading to the sauna, and he planned to join her there for a steam—and, if he was lucky, a little steaminess.
When he got inside, Ned was waiting expectantly for him. And if a kitten could pout, theirs was doing just that. "I see you've been expelled from the sauna?" Eric chuckled as he bent down to pet the quickly-growing kitten. In the three months that they'd had little Ned, he'd quickly established a routine of following Eric and Sookie to whatever room they were in at the time, though if they were in different rooms, he'd generally trail Sookie, especially if she was headed for the kitchen. However, the one room he wasn't allowed into was the sauna room, and Ned was _not_ a happy camper about that!
Eric used his long legs to outpace the feline, who glared at him when he slipped into the sauna room to join Sookie.
Eric chuckled. "Ned is displeased."
She giggled. "He hates it when we're in here. I think he thinks this is the party room."
"It is sometimes," Eric leered as he dropped his towel and sat next to her.
Sookie gasped a little—as she always did—when she saw his quickly growing cock, rising toward his belly.
"I think that I could go for a little party," she leered back as she climbed up on his lap and reached backwards to stroke him.
He closed his eyes and groaned. "So good, lover. Your hand feels so good."
"I think I can find something that feels even better," she said coyly.
He brought his hand between their bodies and did some stroking of his own, dragging his fingers through her folds in long caresses, just as he knew she liked. The evidence of her arousal soon became apparent, as he rubbed little circles around her clit.
She moaned at his touch and then raised her hips and angled his cock so that he would slide into her. Once he was fully sheathed, she whimpered a little as he grabbed her hips to keep her from moving.
"I love feeling you like this—feeling every part of you," he croaked out, his voice laced with arousal and intense emotions that practically quivered from his body.
She kissed him passionately and sighed with relief as he used his hands to move her rather than to hold her stationary.
"God, you're big, Mr. Northman," she muttered.
"And you're good for my ego, Miss Stackhouse," he grunted as he increased the pace of their joining.
She dragged her hand between them and began rubbing her own clit, which was a relatively new move on her part, as she sought her own pleasure.
Eric growled at the sight. "You look so fucking erotic when you do that."
She opened her eyes and looked into his; seeing the passion there, she couldn't help but to moan. "You do it," she ordered as she took one of his hands and moved it to her clit.
He obliged, even as he felt her silky walls begin to squeeze him as she purposely contracted her inner muscles.
"_Fan_!" he yelled out as she moved the hand that wasn't holding onto him for dear life behind them so that she could cup and play with his balls.
"_Fan_!" he yelled again as he hurried the movements of his fingers against her clit and began to spill his seed into her. Thanks to his talented fingers, her own orgasm followed his within moments. She arched her back and continued to ride him slowly as the vibrations of their releases lessened.
They were both panting from their exertion in the heated sauna.
"I can't believe we've been together for more than six months," Eric observed once they'd calmed down a little.
"Getting tired of me?" Sookie asked playfully.
He shook his head as he pulled her body against his. "Never. I can't believe it because every day just seems to get better—not just the sex but everything," he said sincerely.
She pulled back so that she could look into his eyes. "I know."
They heard Ned's impatient pawing against the door.
"I should probably get a quick shower and head in," Eric said, though he didn't seem to want to move anywhere.
She smiled at him. "Go—so that you can come back. I have some work I want to do for Sam anyway."
He nodded and reluctantly pulled out of her before using the towel she'd brought in to clean her up a little and then grabbing his own towel to wrap around her. He turned off the sauna and led her out of the room where they found Ned waiting with a very displeased and impatient look on his cute face.
Both of them chuckled as they bent down to pet their kitten before Sookie picked up the feline, who immediately began to purr loudly, which signaled that he'd forgiven them for _daring_ to go somewhere without him.
* * *
Sookie plugged in her laptop at the small kitchen table and stirred the soup she was making as she waited for her computer to boot up and load the manuscript Sam had wanted her to begin copyediting over her extended holiday time. Smelling the aroma of the beef in the vegetable beef soup had been enough to cause Ned to take up his favored position in the kitchen—the area right under a human's feet. She giggled as he looked up at her hopefully.
"Sorry little one," she said as she reached down to pet him. It's just your daddy that's naughty enough to sneak you bites."
Seemingly understanding her words, Ned trotted over to his little bed in the corner of the kitchen and spun around a few times before flopping down sulkily.
Sookie giggled again and then let her eyes stay in the corner of the room for just a second or two before pulling them down to her kitten.
"Your daddy was being very clever—and awesome—when he stationed you there," Sookie said to the feline.
In fact, Eric did have a reason for putting Ned's bed where he had. Of all the rooms in their home, Sookie had found herself staring into the corner of the kitchen the most. And when she got "stuck" in the corner like that, it was still challenging for her to "get out."
Looking into the corner like that seemed to be an automatic fallback for Sookie when she was cooking, especially if she was just mindlessly tending to something. Sookie had tried to use the television or the iPod dock in the room to provide herself with distractions, but neither had worked completely. However, the presence of Ned in the corner always drew her eyes away from the blankness she would find herself moving into.
As always, Eric's presence and unspoken gestures in her life had worked to change something negative into something positive.
And she was trying to do the same for him—every single day.
To say that they had been growing as a couple since that June day when Eric was waiting for her on the bench he'd arranged to be put right in front of "their" painting in "their" gallery at the MET would have been an understatement.
And to say that they hadn't each been growing as individuals would have been an even bigger understatement.
Both Eric and Sookie continued to see Claudine every Tuesday night—like clockwork. The only exception to that had been Christmas day and the Tuesday of Thanksgiving week. That week, both of their grandmothers had invaded their home for a week, though—thankfully—they'd stayed in Pam's two guestrooms since Eric and Sookie had only one guestroom, and it was Ned's domain. However, during the days, the older women had often been at Eric and Sookie's home. But the couple didn't complain—not at all! Their grandmothers had insisted upon "playing in the kitchen," and the results had been delicious. In fact, even Pam had allowed herself to gain five pounds over the holidays.
The day after Thanksgiving, Eric and Sookie had gone out and bought their first Christmas tree. Oh—they'd each been around the festive trees before, but neither of them had ever purchased one before. And since the tree wouldn't be delivered for a couple of hours, Sookie had insisted that they drive to the closest Target—the one in East Harlem—and pick out decorations for it. Eric knew that they could have afforded much more expensive accouterments for their tree, but Sookie reminded him that Ned would probably break most of the ornaments with his rambunctious play. Plus, neither of them had ever decorated a tree before, so they didn't really know where else they could go to shop for decorations—especially if they wanted to make only one stop.
To their great credit, both Gran and Mormor had made themselves scarce so that Sookie and Eric could decorate their tree by themselves. The two matriarchs had kept to the kitchen—gossiping, cooking more delicious food, and planning a trip to New Orleans—while Eric and Sookie had learned how to trim a tree together, though they certainly had Ned's "participation" during the process. The little kitten, of course, thought that the whole operation was just for his benefit. And he became an expert tree climber almost immediately. Eric and Sookie had just shrugged it off and decided to let their kitten have his fun, though they were determined not to let him play with his new "toy" when the lights were turned on—even if that meant rarely turning them on.
But—just in case—one of the tree "accessories" was a nice, new fire extinguisher.
Because their grandmothers were both present, Eric and Sookie had decided to have their family Christmas on the Saturday after Thanksgiving since the two matriarchs were leaving the next day and they would not see them for Christmas since Mormor would be traveling with some friends and Gran would be spending Christmas with Hadley that year.
Eric and Sookie had opted to exchange their main gifts that day too, leaving only stockings for each other on Christmas day. And Sookie had insisted on a maximum dollar amount to keep Eric from filling her stocking with jewels, though he'd been good about not spending excess money on her so far in their relationship.
Sookie smiled as she thought of the festive "family" gathering they'd had on that Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eric and she had invited Henry, Blake, Thalia, her kids, Pam, Amelia, and Bobby. It was just as well that Thalia's kids were spending the weekend with their paternal grandparents, given Pam's cringing at the mention of what she called the "teacup humans" attending. And—of course—Mormor and Gran had spent the entire day in the kitchen. Gran had made chicken and dumplings, while Mormor had made _köttsoppa med klimp_, which was a hearty soup with beef and vegetables and a very different kind of dumplings. The grandmothers had also made an array of desserts and homemade breads, and no one had left hungry.
After dinner and a little visiting, Henry, Blake, and Thalia had said their goodbyes, and the others had exchanged gifts. Sookie smiled at the memory of seeing Eric's face light up at the sight of five gifts piled in front of him. Of course, Sookie's five gifts were a record number for her as well.
She'd gotten a pretty dress, which had probably cost way too much, from Pam. And Amelia had given her a gift certificate to a spa. Bobby had given her a pair of boots she could wear in the snow. Gran had gifted her a beautiful pair of gloves and a hat that she'd knitted, while Elsa had brought Sookie an old locket that had belonged to her own mother. When Sookie had tried to insist that Pam should have the locket, Pam had just clucked at the piece and said that she had many things passed on from Mormor already, and since Sookie was to be part of the family, she should have the necklace.
Sookie smiled and lovingly put her hand on the locket hanging around her neck. It was beautiful and unique—shaped like a square—and inside, she had put a picture of Eric; her "secret love" had been living right against her heart ever since she'd received the locket.
Eric had given Sookie a coat, which was a present with which Sookie had immediately fallen in love. The coat was a deep red color, and it was both stylish and warm. She could tell that it had been expensive, but it was also exactly what she'd needed.
By far, the most enjoyable part of their "pre-Christmas" for Sookie had been watching Eric opening and enjoying each of his gifts. Bobby and Eric had exchanged cigars and scotch, which seemed to be the norm for them. From Pam and Amelia, Eric had gotten an Xbox and several games which had immediately found a home in the "man cave," and Eric had enjoyed many an hour killing a zombie or two since then. Even Sookie had found that she enjoyed playing the Xbox with Eric, especially since the prizes for winning—and the "punishments" for losing—generally included _extremely_ enjoyable things.
Gran had given Eric an afghan that she had crocheted—an afghan which Eric had dubbed the ugliest thing he'd ever seen later that night when he was alone with Sookie. Ugly or not, however, he wrapped it around himself every day when he went out to enjoy his coffee on the terrace. And the afghan had a place of honor in their bedroom.
From Mormor, Eric had gotten a framed blueprint of the lake house, which had been drawn by his morfar. Upon receiving it, he'd squeezed his mormor so tight that Sookie thought the elderly woman would break until—that is—Sookie noticed that Mormor was hugging him back just as tightly.
Sookie's main gift to Eric had been difficult for her to come up with. After all, what did one get for a man who could buy practically anything he wanted? In the end, she'd gotten him "an experience." She knew that Eric loved horses from his grade school days when he'd played polo and helped tend to the horses in the stables, and she'd arranged for a three-day vacation for them to upstate New York in the spring. Their lodging would be a cute bed and breakfast, but the best part was that the B&B was on a ranch, which boasted a variety of horses for both beginners and experts. Eric had been—much to Sookie's relief—over the moon about the gift and had shown his appreciation to her that night.
Several times, in fact.
All in all, the previous months spent with Eric had been better than any heaven Sookie could ever imagine, and their Christmas had been lovely too, despite the fact that Eric had had to spend his requisite time at Appius's house that day. Not surprisingly, there had been no gifts for him there, except for a bright red scarf from Gracie. Of course, Eric had taken all the "required" gifts—including the same one that he always took for Appius. Eric had told her once about his ancestor's pen inside the always carefully wrapped box. And she had witnessed it being returned to him by Markus twice now. Beyond that, Sookie had noticed that Eric had taken the time to choose each of his siblings' gifts very carefully, even Nora's.
Eric had been both looking forward to and dreading Christmas with his family for more than a month. But mostly, he'd regretted that Sookie hadn't been able to go along. He couldn't wait until he could introduce her to all of his younger siblings, just as Sookie couldn't wait to meet them; however, both Eric and Sookie knew that continued secrecy was for the best.
On Christmas, Eric had spent only four hours at Appius's home—from 10:00 a.m. to around 2:00 p.m. Most of that time had been passed happily. Eric had gotten to visit with Gracie, and a now-talking A.J. had spent the greater part of the morning crawling all over him and then showing him every one of his gifts before asking Eric to help him construct things out of his new blocks. Eric had delighted in his time with his youngest two siblings. Around noon, Alexei had arrived from the airport, and—though his younger brother had asked him not to speak about his fledgling acting pursuits in front of the rest of the family—Alexei and Eric had an easy, enjoyable conversation during their Christmas dinner.
Unfortunately, the day had also included a "meeting" with Appius—as if the Northman patriarch had seen that Eric was happy and had the compulsion to take that happiness away from him. Eric had told Sookie about the litany of his shortcomings that Appius had spewed out during the half-hour meeting in his office; that "gift" had been followed up by Appius ordering Eric to put together a comprehensive report detailing the progress with China, a report he was required to present for scrutiny. After that, Appius had basically "dismissed" Eric, not just from the office, but from the house. And as Eric was saying his hurried goodbyes to his siblings and giving his apologies for his earlier-than-usual exit, Appius was spouting off about Eric needing to leave because he'd "messed up a deal."
Sookie sighed as she took out ingredients for a batch of chocolate chip cookies, which were Eric's favorite. Appius's need to ruin Eric's holiday and his vacation was the reason why Eric had spent twelve hours working the day before and the reason that he was gone now. So she felt her man deserved the treat.
As she whipped the butter, she thought about just how much she wanted to kick Appius's ass. That compulsion in her was growing by the day as she became more and more aware of all the "little things" that Appius did to undermine and torment his eldest son.
However, as Sookie looked at the mostly eaten loaf of banana bread on the counter, she couldn't help but to smile a little. Despite Appius's "order" and all the work it would entail for him, Eric had still snuck back to the kitchen to pass along little gifts to Margaret and Markus after Appius had "dismissed" him. Their daughter Olivia, who was spending Christmas with her parents, had been working in Northman Publishing's accounting office since September, and the four of them had chatted for ten minutes or so before Eric left through the kitchen entrance. And—of course—Eric had come home with a gift of food from Margaret.
Though Eric hadn't told his father's cook and butler about his relationship with Sookie, Margaret—using what Eric called her sixth-sense—had pointed out that Eric seemed even happier than he had in June when she'd last seen him.
Sookie smiled a little wider. Knowing that she had added to Eric's happiness made her happy—very happy.
Of course, it wouldn't do for Olivia to know about Sookie and Eric either, but Sookie had made a point to seek out the new employee and to befriend her. Holly and Sookie now often had lunch with Olivia and some others from the accounting department. Their company was much better than Arlene, Dawn, and Maudette's. Sookie had been proud of the fact that she'd succeeded in reaching out to someone and forming a new friendship. And nobody in the circle of friends that she'd made at work or at the MET or at Carmichael Tower looked at her as if she were "odd."
They all just looked at her as if she were "Sookie."
Sookie smiled at that thought. So much had changed throughout the previous two years. But it had all started with that little spark of connection she had felt when she saw Eric at her first NP party.
In a strange way, Sookie was glad that she'd not "met" Eric officially the first time she saw him. The additional year had given her some time to move herself forward—to learn that _she_ could be strong on her own and make healing changes in her life. Claudine had been helping her to love and to accept herself even before Eric gave her his love.
Sookie nodded, knowing that everything had happened in the "right" order. Had she not begun loving herself first, then she would have never trusted Eric's love. And—had she not begun understanding her own worth first, she would have counted on Eric to provide her with self-worth. And that wouldn't have worked for either of them—not in the long term. She understood well that she still had a long way to go in order to overcome the damage that had been done to her by Michelle, but she also knew that she was well along the path.
And that thought made her proud.
What made her even prouder was that Eric had been making similar progress when it came to Appius.
She grinned as she looked at her and Eric's stretching kitten. Since Christmas had fallen on a Tuesday that year, most of the employees at Northman Publishing had been allowed to take a very long weekend; in fact, the copy editing department had closed down at noon on December 21, and most employees hadn't returned to work until the day before, Wednesday, December 26. Sookie and Eric had decided to take even more time off—since Sam continued to hound her about vacation days and Eric's department truly did run like a well-oiled machine.
Other than his meeting with his father that day, Eric had planned to work from home until Sookie's own return date, which was January 2. Meanwhile, Sookie had brought home a project she'd been working on—a new and very long novel written by one of the publishing house's most successful authors. Unfortunately, the writer was notorious for his error-filled manuscripts and for his insistence that his writing was immaculate—even though it clearly wasn't. However, in truth, Sookie didn't mind the project, and she was well-ahead of her deadline; thus, she'd spent most of her vacation cooking or reading or playing with Ned. And—when Eric hadn't been working—she'd enjoyed "play time" with him too.
Sookie smiled as she mixed the cookie dough. Indeed, they'd enjoyed _a lot_ of "play time."
* * *
**A/N: Well I hope that you didn't mind this transitional chapter. Action will pick up in the next chapter as Eric meets with Appius, and—from there—the drama will be ratcheted up. We are getting closer and closer to where we started in chapter one of **_**Comfortably Numb**_**. **
**This will be the last chapter for this story this week. I'll move back to this story after I spend a week on **_**Uninvited**_**. Thanks for your patience. **
**Best, **
**Kat**
**Check out my blog if you want to see pictures. (californiakat1564 . wordpress . com). **
7. Chapter 7: Coming Through in Waves
**Chapter 07: Coming Through in Waves**
_**There is no pain you are receding**_
_**A distant ship's smoke on the horizon**_
_**You are only coming through in waves**_
_**Your lips move**_
_**But I can't hear what you're saying—Pink Floyd, "Comfortably Numb"**_
Eric had decided to take a taxi to the office so that he could look over his report about NP's partnership with Guangzhou Press one last time. Luckily, Liang and Guo had been willing to help him move a few publications along a bit more quickly than previously planned, and the government grant had come through to offset the price of printing most of the books. Eric hoped that these things would appease Appius; however, the realist in him knew that his father would find plenty of things to criticize.
Of course, Eric knew that the contract he'd signed with Appius would prevent the older man from interfering with his division too much, especially given the success of that division. But that didn't mean that Appius wouldn't do all he could to make Eric's life miserable for the next hour or two.
Eric ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes.
"Hard day?" his taxi driver asked in a thick accent that sounded Indian.
"Not so far," Eric answered congenially. "But I expect the next few hours to be difficult."
The driver nodded and then went back to weaving in and out of traffic. Eric made a note of the driver's name. He had a couple particular drivers in town that he always called first if he needed a taxi. Months before, Eric had stopped driving his car to work, given the fact that he feared Appius might try to place some kind of surveillance device on it too. Thalia had checked the vehicle over thoroughly more than once, but Eric didn't want to take any chances.
Plus, the taxi drivers he used seemed to count on him tipping well, and he counted on them to offer the perfect mix of conversation, silence, and efficiency. With the holidays, neither of his usual taxi drivers had been available that morning, and he was thankful that he'd lucked out with someone who didn't want to carry on a lengthy conversation.
He sat back and closed his eyes. He couldn't help the little smile that tugged on his lips as he recalled his Christmas night with Sookie. Despite the untimely work Appius had given him to do, Eric hadn't let it ruin his and Sookie's first Christmas together. As they'd cooked their dinner together, they'd discussed Eric's time at Appius's house earlier that day, getting the bad parts out of the way first—before dropping the subject of Appius entirely and focusing on Eric's time with his brothers and sisters.
Then they'd eaten in the kitchen before exchanging stockings by the fireplace in the "man-cave." The smile on Eric's lips etched deeper into his face. It had been the first stocking that he remembered receiving, and Sookie had filled it to the brim.
She'd given him both practical things and fun things. The practical had included the beautiful amber cufflinks he was wearing even then. She'd also gotten him a protective case for his phone—something called an "otter box"—so that no more "breaking incidents" would occur. She'd added a few Xbox games and some books they'd discussed reading together. However, the highlight had been something red and lacy, which Sookie modeled for him—while she was wearing a Santa hat and red high heels. The thought of her in that outfit made him have to adjust himself a bit.
Of course, the best Christmas present had been what was inside of that negligee. And it hadn't even been the sex that he got that night—though it had been pretty damned epic—that had been the best thing. It had been _everything_ that came in the package called Sookie. And—because of her—he'd "felt" Christmas for the first time.
For his part, Eric had had a lot of fun filling Sookie's stocking. Having learned of Sookie's love for scarves—both for warmth and to accent an outfit—he had gotten Sookie two for her stocking. One was a hand-painted silk scarf in various shades of blue, which reminded Eric of Sookie's eyes. The other was a soft cashmere scarf which would complement her new coat. He'd added a Kindle, which had earned him many kisses. He'd kept the jewelry that he gave her to a minimum so that he wouldn't get into too much trouble, but—in the museum one day—he'd discovered her love of yellow gems, so he'd gotten her a pair of yellow diamond drop earrings that were relatively modest in their karat count. Of course, those drew one of Sookie's "looks," but he realized that he wasn't in too much trouble when he got several kisses for the earrings too.
His smile broadened again. She'd modeled those earrings for him just the night before. And, given the fact that he had been weary from spending all day on the report now in his hands, seeing her in that jewelry—and nothing else—had certainly been a treat!
"Here we are, sir," the taxi driver said, tearing Eric from his reverie as he came to a quick stop in front of Northman Tower. Eric handed the driver the fare plus a good tip and then steeled himself mentally as he went into the building to face Appius.
Eric had been asked to arrive at noon, which was a common time for his meetings with Appius. Appius enjoyed eating during his meetings with Eric. He always ate at a leisurely pace—looking only half interested as he thumbed through whatever report he was requiring from Eric that day.
Of course, Eric was never asked to partake in any food. In fact, Appius always began their meetings with the same words: "I assume you've already eaten."
It was just one more thing that made Appius an ass in Eric's eyes—another tactic that he'd used to hurt Eric. Now—after months with Sookie and months in therapy with Claudine—Eric had learned not to allow Appius's small machinations to affect him. After all, in the grand scheme of things—the scheme that included only Sookie and their true "family"—Appius no longer mattered.
Eric took a deep breath as he studied the others in Appius's office.
That day, Neave, Lochlan, and Andre were also attending the meeting, and they all scoured through Eric's report as he sat and waited patiently for the inevitable berating to begin. Thankfully, he had his own private copyeditor at home, so he knew there were no typos in the quickly-constructed report.
Fifty-five minutes after Eric had arrived, Appius had a list of things for him to "deal with."
As he always did, Eric bore the brunt of Appius's derisive criticism with forbearance and somehow kept his tone even and matter-of-fact when answering questions.
But Eric's cool was broken when his phone chimed. As always, Eric had set his iPhone to be silent during his meeting with Appius; however, there was one exception who could interrupt him any time: Sookie. Of course, Eric always kept her informed of when he was meeting with Appius, and she had never contacted him during those times. But he felt better knowing that she _could_—if she ever really needed to.
He took a deep breath. He'd left her only ninety minutes before and knew that she wouldn't have contacted him unless it was an emergency.
His phone chimed a second time.
"I hope we aren't keeping you from something _you_ interpret as more important," Appius sneered.
Eric took in his father's baleful glare and made a quick decision. In a choice between Sookie and Appius, there would only ever be one option. He reached into his pocket for his phone.
There were two texts from her.
The first one broke his heart just as it must have broken Sookie's as she'd typed it: "Gran's had a massive heart attack and isn't expected to live. The doctors told me to come as fast as I could."
The second read, "A flight leaves from LaGuardia in eighty minutes."
As he was reading that message, he received a third. "Come later."
Eric found that he was already on his feet and moving toward the door. There was no way that he was going to wait; if Sookie was leaving town in eighty minutes, he would be too.
"Where the fuck are you going?" Appius stormed. "This meeting is _not_ over!"
"Yes it is," Eric said.
"I said—this meeting is not over until _I_ say it is!" Appius snarled.
Eric turned around to face the man whose DNA made up half of his own. "You're welcome to berate and to critique me later, Father. But for now, we're done here." Eric barely registered the surprise on Appius's face before he left the office and sprinted to the elevator, his phone already in his hand. He texted Bobby for a ride and was happy when his friend indicated that he was only five minutes away. Eric knew that if there was _anyone_ in Manhattan who could get him to LaGuardia through traffic, it was Bobby.
As soon as he was outside the building and away from its "ears," he called Sookie.
"Eric," she said his name like a prayer when she answered. "Gran—she's dying."
Eric could tell that Sookie was obviously trying to hold herself together, but was having a difficult time doing so.
"I have to go to Louisiana," she said.
"I know. Me too," he replied.
He heard something that sounded like a cross between a sigh and a sob from her. "You're coming?"
"Of course, min älskade. Do you know the flight number?"
He heard her sobbing softly, and then he heard Pam's voice on the line.
"Eric," Pam said in a strained tone, "Blake's driving us over to LaGuardia with his siren on so that Sookie can be sure to make the flight. It's United 1748. It leaves at 3:05 p.m. and connects in Atlanta. It'll have Sookie in Shreveport in seven and a half hours. It was the shortest duration I could find," she almost growled.
"How many tickets did you get?" Eric asked, even as Bobby pulled up to the curb and Eric quickly got into the car.
"Two," Pam said. "Sookie told me to hold off on getting you one since you were in your meeting, but I didn't listen." Her voice lowered. "She only texted you when I threatened to take the phone from her and do it myself."
Eric closed his eyes. It was like Sookie—so like her—to think of him before herself, even in a time of tragedy, but he wasn't going to let her do that. It was his job to think of her first—to put _her_ first. Always. And he was going to do that job in any way he could.
Pam went on. "I packed you a small bag, and I got you a ticket—if you can get to LaGuardia on time."
Eric held on as Bobby wove his way around the street. "I'll be there," he said. "Bobby's driving me. Tell Sookie that I'll see her soon."
"Okay," Pam said as he disconnected the call.
"Sookie okay?" Bobby asked, sensing that something was very wrong.
"No," Eric responded. "It's Gran. She's had a massive heart attack." He looked at his friend. "The doctors don't think she's going to make it."
"Shit," Bobby said with a sigh. He glanced in his rearview mirror.
"Is he back there?" Eric asked. He'd seen one of the Berts following them from NP.
Bobby shook his head. "Not any more. The Bert was on us longer than I would have expected though. They're getting a little better."
"But you lost him?" Eric asked to make sure.
"Oh yeah," Bobby said with a hint of a smirk on his face. "A little better doesn't mean that they're any good."
"Does your great-uncle still have his Leer Jet at LaGuardia?" Eric asked pensively. "The commercial flight won't put us at the hospital for more than nine hours from now," he said worriedly. "I'm afraid that won't be enough time."
"Uncle Niall—yeah. And—before you ask—yes."
Bobby whipped out his phone and made a call, even as he continued to zigzag through the traffic with ease. Within minutes, Eric was calling back Pam and telling her that there was a change of plans and that Niall's private plane could take them straight to Shreveport and that it could be wheels up within fifteen minutes of his and Sookie's arrival.
When Eric got off the phone with his sister, he looked at Bobby.
"Thank you," Eric said.
"Don't mention it. I'm just glad that Uncle Niall keeps his employees on retainer so that he can justify giving them fulltime salaries. The pilot and copilot live only ten minutes from LaGuardia and will beat us there." Bobby smiled. "They're a husband and wife team. The jet is being prepped right now; there won't be a stewardess, but who the fuck cares."
"Thanks," Eric said again. "And please thank Niall too."
Bobby shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Uncle Niall hardly ever uses the plane anymore, and he's told me and the Claudes that we can use it whenever we want."
Eric nodded and closed his eyes. He wished he could send Sookie his strength in that moment—wished it with every fiber of his being. But he couldn't.
"We'll be there soon," Bobby said, patting Eric's forearm. He didn't say anything else, but Eric could feel the car speed up a little, though he kept his eyes closed. In that moment, Eric appreciated Bobby more than ever before.
As it turned out, due to his skillful—and probably highly illegal—driving, Bobby was able to beat Blake to LaGuardia's hangars for private planes by about five minutes. Thus, by the time Eric saw Blake's car pull up, the pilot had already filed their emergency flight plan, and Bobby had already convinced Eric that it would be best if he came too. Bobby had grabbed his duffle bag, which held his gym clothes, and was talking to the copilot when Blake pulled up next to a pacing Eric.
Moments later, Eric was doing exactly what his body had been aching to do for the last thirty-three minutes: holding his Sookie.
* * *
_Fifty minutes earlier_
Sookie was taking the last batch of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven when her cell phone rang? Thinking it was likely Amelia or Claudine, she answered without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Is this Sookie Stackhouse?" came a female voice she didn't recognize.
"Yes? Can I ask who's calling?"
There was a sigh. "My name's Halleigh Robinson, and I'm a nurse at the LSU Medical Center in Shreveport."
Immediately, Sookie's mind began to move a mile a minute. "Gran," she whispered.
"Yes," the compassionate voice confirmed. "Your grandmother, Adele Stackhouse, is my patient."
"What happened?"
"Adele called 9-1-1 early this morning—around 4:00 a.m. An ambulance was dispatched immediately, but given the woman's rural location, it took ten minutes to reach her." There was another sigh. "By the time paramedics got there, Adele's condition was critical; she'd suffered a massive heart attack."
"Oh my God," Sookie said, her hand shaking so much that she could barely hold the phone.
Halleigh went on. "The ambulance brought her straight to LSU Med since the hospital in Monroe doesn't have the facilities to treat her. The trip to Shreveport took forty minutes, and your grandmother's heart stopped two times along the way, but the paramedics were able to restart it. Immediately upon getting to the hospital, Adele was rushed to emergency surgery, but she was too weak for the length of procedure that was needed to make all the necessary repairs." She paused. "But they stabilized her the best they could. She's in ICU right now, and if Adele improves, her doctors are gonna try the surgery again in 24 hours."
"So she's alive?" Sookie asked, with a flicker of hope in her voice.
"Yes," Halleigh responded. "I'm Adele's primary nurse in the ICU, and I recognized the name 'Stackhouse' since I've been dating a police officer from Bon Temps. I called my boyfriend, Andy Bellefleur, and he—in turn—called Jason Stackhouse. Is that your brother?"
"Yes," Sookie whispered.
"Well. He arrived with his mother—your mother—right as Adele was getting out of surgery." Halleigh's tone was contrite as she went on. "I apologize for not calling you sooner, Sookie, but I figured your family would take care of all the necessary notifications. But then Adele woke up for a little while about fifteen minutes ago, and she asked for you. She even gave me your phone number." She paused. "Adele asked that I call you personally and not leave it up to your brother."
"Thank you," Sookie said weakly, even as she sank down to the kitchen floor. Immediately Ned was next to her, rubbing her free hand and trying to offer comfort. Sookie gathered him onto her lap, thankful for his warmth.
"Your grandmother's very weak, but it's obvious that she's hanging on for something," Halleigh said softly. "I think she's hanging on to see you."
Sookie let out a sob. "Is she going to die?" she asked.
Halleigh sighed. "The doctor will tell you more, but," she paused, "I really think you need to get here as soon as you can, Sookie. She's stable—for now—but even if she's strong enough for the surgery tomorrow, it's very dangerous."
Sookie began to weep outright, and it was at that moment that Pam walked into the room, a pizza in hand. Since Eric had his meeting, the two had planned to eat lunch and watch a chick flick.
"Sookie!" Pam gasped, quickly putting the pizza down on the counter and crouching next to her friend. "What's wrong?"
Sookie couldn't speak, so she handed Pam the phone.
"Who's this?" Pam asked.
As Halleigh relayed the information to Pam about Gran, tears began to gather in Pam's eyes, but she wiped them away before they fell.
"What's the prognosis?" she asked.
There was a pause.
"I understand," Pam said. "If Adele wakes up again, tell her that Sookie is on her way—just as quickly as possible."
* * *
Pam felt as if she'd been hit in the stomach. Adele, the vibrant, beautiful woman who had become like a third grandmother to her, would likely be dead within the next twenty-four hours. In disbelief, she stared at the phone for a moment and then took in the form of her sobbing friend.
Pam shook her head, promising herself that she would call Amelia and cry for her loved one as soon as she got Sookie on a plane, preferably with her brother.
"I'll call Eric," she said, beginning to dial Sookie's phone.
"No!" Sookie said quickly. "His meeting—with Appius."
"Sookie," Pam said softly, "you need him, and he'd want to be with you."
"No," Sookie cried out, taking the phone from her. "Please." She looked up at Pam. "Can you help me get tickets? I don't think I can . . . ." Her voice trailed off.
"Don't worry, Sookie," Pam assured. She pulled out her own phone and immediately called Henry. After giving him a thirty second version of what was happening and asking if someone could give them a ride to the airport once they made arrangements, she called an old girlfriend, who was a travel agent.
Soon—two tickets to Shreveport via Atlanta were purchased for Sookie and Eric.
Next, Pam texted Bobby, telling him to be ready to pick up Eric from NP if he called and promising him details later.
All Sookie wanted to do was to collapse into Eric's arms, but—knowing where he was—she couldn't let herself call him. So she concentrated on staying on her feet as Pam whirled around her making plans and packing bags. Soon after, Henry and Blake joined Pam. And before Sookie knew it, she was in Blake's car, speeding toward LaGuardia.
She concentrated on remaining numb; it was either that or fall apart.
"Text Eric!" Pam ordered, breaking Sookie out of her trance-like state.
"I can't," she whimpered.
"Either you do it, or I will," Pam warned.
"I can't," Sookie repeated, her expression a mixture of stubbornness and despair.
Pam's voice was softer. "Eric might be out of his meeting already. And—either way—he'd want to know as soon as possible. He loves Gran too. Just do it—please. My call won't go through if he's in a meeting."
"Okay," Sookie responded wearily. She barely contained her tears as she typed three messages into the phone. The first alerted Eric to the fact that Gran was likely dying. The second informed him that she was taking off as soon as she could from LaGuardia. The third asked him to come later if he could.
Her phone ringing again shook Sookie to the very core. She feared it might be the nurse—telling her Gran had died—but seeing Eric's number, her heart leapt.
For all the money in the world, she couldn't have retold Eric's words to her, but as soon as she heard his voice, she suddenly "felt" again and knew that if she could just hold on for a little while longer, he would take care of her and everything else.
When she could no longer talk, Pam took the phone, and Sookie closed her eyes. She'd picked up only one thing from her conversation with Eric: he was coming.
Sookie felt Pam's hand take hers, and she was grateful for the comfort.
"Ned," Sookie said, trying to think about practical things for a moment.
"Don't worry. Amelia is going over to your house now. She'll check on Ned. I'll even take him for a while if need be."
Sookie opened her eyes and looked at Pam skeptically.
"What?" Pam asked with a smirk. "It's not like I'd kill him or anything. I'll just make sure he doesn't get into my closet."
Sookie found herself smiling a little and marveled at the fact that she could still do that. "Thank you, Pam."
Pam squeezed her hand.
Sookie gave her friend a little nod and then closed her eyes again. She concentrated on the sound of the siren in Blake's unmarked police car. No one spoke for a little while—until Pam answered Eric's call and then relayed the information about the changed flight plans.
Sookie said a prayer of thanksgiving for both Eric and Bobby. Because they'd be able to take Bobby's great-uncle's jet, Eric and she would be in Shreveport in fewer than four hours, rather than almost nine. Something inside of Sookie told her that she might not be able to spare the five hours that taking the commercial flight would have added onto her trip.
Despite that sobering thought, Sookie steeled herself, telling herself that she needed to hold it together for just a few more minutes—until she could collapse into Eric. Thankfully, Blake got them through the security gate that led to the hangar quickly, and Sookie let out a deep sigh of relief as she saw the man that she loved already waiting for her.
And then—in the next moment—he was holding her, and then holding her up, and then picking her up.
"I have you," he promised. "I have you."
She believed him.
* * *
"Well—where the fuck is he!" Appius demanded.
"I lost him," Sigebert admitted.
"Find him!" Appius yelled, before hanging up the phone.
"I need to know why he left here like he did," Appius seethed in Andre's direction. "He looked like someone had died." Appius raked his fingers through his hair in a jerking motion. "I didn't think that he cared about _anything_ that much—except for maybe that cunt, Elsa Larsson!"
Andre smiled. "Maybe she died."
"I only hope for such luck!" Appius sneered. "Whatever it was upset him more than I've seen him upset since he was a fucking child! And I want to know if I can use it against him!"
Andre nodded. "Don't worry, my love," he said as he took Appius's hand in his. "I'll find out what he's up to."
Appius leaned into his lover and allowed himself to be comforted in Andre's embrace for a moment before he stood up straight again and walked over to the window. He took in the view he'd seen thousands of times—the little kingdom he'd carved out for himself.
He contemplated what he'd just seen from his eldest son. From the time he was eight or so, Eric had been a stoic son of a bitch—harder for Appius to rattle than anyone he'd ever come into contact with. But Appius still knew how to pull Eric's strings to the point where he'd get a reaction most of the time.
However—he had to hand it to Eric. The boy knew how to keep his emotions close to the vest. The six-year-old child who'd cried in his room when he came home for the winter holiday was long gone, though Appius still hoped to see more of his son's tears. He'd just not found the perfect formula for eliciting them in a very long time—too long.
But—then again—he'd never seen Eric as he'd been today. _Never_ in the six years Eric had been working at Northman's Publishing had he taken a call or even checked his phone in Appius's presence. But today, three texts had sent him shooting out the door.
Appius had watched the surveillance footage of Eric literally sprinting through the building. And then Eric's bastard lawyer Burnham had picked him up.
Appius closed his eyes and remembered Eric's look as he'd checked his phone. It had started with shock, but immediately had transformed to concern—concern with a touch of grief. That made Appius doubt that Eric's maternal grandmother had died. No. Eric's had been a look of worrying and planning. It had been a look of powerlessness even amidst the mustering of strength. It had been a look of longing and suffering.
But on someone else's behalf.
Appius knew that look. He'd seen it in the mirror every single day when his beloved Stella lay dying of cancer.
He turned around and faced Andre. "Eric's in love," Appius said with certainty. "Find out with whom—because I _know_ that it's not Isabel or Amelia. Call in Franklin Mott to help."
Andre nodded sinisterly as he dialed his phone.
* * *
**A/N: Well—I'm back! Thanks for all the continued support of this story! **
**That said, I probably need to duck. I'm sorry about what I'm doing to Gran; I really am. I didn't set out to do it. It was my muse (the evil b*tch). I love Gran too, but this is the story that came out of me. **
**I'm going to try to get you two more chapters this week. As before, I have a stack of papers to grade, and my carpal tunnel is threatening to flare up, so we'll see. But two more is my goal.**
**Best,**
**Kat**
**P.S. I hope you don't hate me too much.**
8. Chapter 8: Venom and Antivenom
**Chapter 08: Venom and Antivenom**
Thankfully, Niall's jet had couch seating in one area, so Eric was able to keep Sookie cradled to him throughout the flight. He rocked her and then sang to her in Swedish—a lullaby that his mormor had once told him that his mother used to sing to him.
Eric couldn't actually remember his mother singing it, nor did he recall the words or tune from his memories. But—after his mormor had told him about it—he'd made a point of memorizing the lullaby nonetheless.
Two hours after takeoff, Sookie's sobbing for the woman who had literally saved her from a life of hell stopped as she fell asleep in Eric's embrace
Only then, did Eric let himself crumble a little. He too owed Adele Stackhouse—owed her everything. Without her, the woman in his arms would have likely never escaped her mother's maliciousness. And—eventually—she would have broken. She would have never come to New York. He would have never seen her—met her. And he—just like her—would have been broken. No—he would have _remained_ broken.
Bobby had been on the phone almost the entire time they'd been flying and had stayed near the front of the aircraft in order to give Eric and Sookie as much privacy as possible, but when he saw that Sookie had fallen asleep, he came back to sit on the couch opposite the couple.
He looked at the sleeping woman in his friend's embrace and took a deep breath before speaking. "I have a car waiting for us when we land."
Eric nodded. "I assume you've been in contact with the hospital?" he asked quietly.
Bobby nodded. "It doesn't look good. I managed to talk at length to one of Adele's doctors by pretending to be you."
Eric looked at him in question.
"I figured they'd be more likely to discuss things with her granddaughter's fiancé than with her granddaughter's fiancé's friend."
Eric nodded in acknowledgement. "What did they tell you?"
"Her cardiologist thinks that she's suffered at least two heart attacks since early this morning—one of them while on the way to the hospital. The first one was massive, and the second likely sealed her fate," Bobby added gravely. "When they tried surgery, they were only able to patch her up a little bit before they had to get out. She was just too weak." He shook his head dejectedly. "The doctor told me that they will try taking her back to surgery if she survives the next twenty four hours, but . . . ."
"But they don't think that's going to happen," Eric finished, letting the harsh truth out into the cabin of the plane as he continued to rock the sleeping form of his beloved.
"No," Bobby said softly, "they don't. After getting off the phone with the doctor, I contacted the nurse Sookie spoke to—Halleigh Robinson. She was more," he paused, "forthcoming and direct than the doctor could be. She told me that in her experience, Adele is too far gone to make a recovery. She reiterated that we needed to hurry, but that Adele seems to be tenaciously hanging on for Sookie. I've called in a few favors to get us a police escort to the hospital."
Eric sighed. "We _will_ get there in time. We have to. _Please_," he said as if his words were a prayer. "Sookie deserves to say her goodbyes to Gran."
Bobby nodded and then tensed. "Halleigh told me that Adele requested and then signed a DNR the last time she was conscious."
"A 'do not resuscitate order,'" Eric sighed.
"Yes. Halleigh said that Adele seems to have realized and accepted the likelihood that her heart won't last the night, and she doesn't want to prolong things with a ventilator," Bobby said in barely a whisper, even as he kept an eye on Sookie to make sure she was still asleep.
Eric closed his eyes and let out a long breath. "Are her doctors competent? Would others be better able to treat her?" he asked.
"I contacted Niall, and he used his connections to check out her doctors," Bobby said with a sigh of his own. "Adele's lead cardiologist is well-respected and actually specializes in geriatric cases. According to Niall, there are more prominent doctors in the country, but not many better." He paused. "After I contacted him, Niall called Adele's cardiologist too. He believes that everything humanly possible is being done for Adele, given her condition and age."
As Eric opened his eyes, a tear fell from one of them. "Will you thank Niall for his help?"
"I will," Bobby said. "But he was glad to do it."
Eric nodded in acknowledgment. He'd only met Niall a couple of times and was grateful to Bobby's great-uncle for using his connections in the medical field to give Sookie and him peace of mind. Eric wanted—no needed—to be able to tell Sookie that Adele's doctors were among the best and had done everything possible for her grandmother—for Gran.
"There's more," Bobby said, shifting in his chair uncomfortably.
"Tell me," Eric requested.
"Halleigh said that Sookie's brother overheard Adele asking for her granddaughter, and he and Sookie's mother have gotten wind that Sookie's on her way. According to Halleigh, they are trying to get Sookie barred from seeing Adele."
"They can't do that," Eric growled softly.
Bobby sighed. "Halleigh said that they told the hospital administrator that Sookie's the one who broke her grandmother's heart by leaving town. They fed the administrator some bullshit story that seeing Sookie would just upset Adele more."
"Did the administrator buy it?"
"Halleigh overheard Michelle and Jason talking to the administrator and stepped in. She argued that Adele had clearly asked for Sookie and had even provided her with a telephone number during her first lucid state after surgery, and—since then—Adele has asked for Sookie whenever she awakens, though Adele's still very groggy. The administrator wants to speak with Sookie before letting her see Adele, but Halleigh has indicated that she will try to help us no matter what—that she'll even sneak Sookie in if that's what it takes."
Eric sighed deeply. "That's something, at least. Wait—do we know who Gran's lawyer is?"
Bobby closed his eyes and went through his memory banks. One of the reasons why he was so good at what he did was his photographic memory. "Sid Matt Lancaster was the name on Adele's husband's Will."
"Get in touch with him," Eric whispered. "If I know Adele, she's made Sookie the executrix of her Will. If we can get that information to the hospital administrator, we should have no problems getting Sookie in. I want this cleared up _before_ we get there if possible. And I want Sookie to be able to see Gran without her brother or her sorry excuse for a mother in the room."
Bobby nodded. "I'll make it happen, Eric." He was silent for a moment. "After you get her through this, you and I are going to have to talk about today. It will likely be a game-changer." He sighed. "I don't think that Appius could be tracking us here, but if I know him, he won't rest until he finds out what rattled you. He'll want to exploit it."
"I know," Eric said in a tortured voice. "But I _had_ to get to her as soon as I found out about Gran."
"I know," Bobby reassured. "And—for what it's worth—I think you did the right thing by leaving that meeting. But there may be consequences."
"I can't think about that right now."
"Well—that's why you have me," Bobby replied, getting up and moving back to the front of the plane so that he could get to work on controlling the damage that either Michelle Stackhouse or Appius Northman might try to do.
* * *
Eric held onto Sookie tightly as he led her down the hall toward the hospital's ICU. From the helpful nurse to whom Bobby had been speaking, he knew that they would have to check in at a desk in order to progress to Adele's room; he also knew that there was a waiting room by that desk. And that was where they would likely encounter Michelle and Jason Stackhouse.
Though Eric had tried to prepare Sookie for the fact that her mother would probably be in that waiting room, he still felt her stiffen and then shake when she saw the woman who Eric knew immediately was her mother.
Michelle Stackhouse was the kind of woman who looked older than her real age, which Eric knew to be around fifty. She was also the kind of woman who'd had what the New York elite called "work done by the wrong doctor." There was nothing that the New York socialites of his grandmother's age liked to gossip about more than a woman who'd had "one cut too many" or who'd "rolled the dice once too often" or who'd "been cut by a quack." All of them whispered about how they would use only "Meryl's doctor" or "Madonna's doctor" if they ever opted for plastic surgery—which they, of course, never admitted to doing.
Eric shook his head a little. His own grandmother, Grace Northman, had had at least three "corrective procedures" that he knew of, and he wasn't really "in the know"—so she'd probably had even more than that. However, Eric had to admit that Grace's own choice of doctor—whether it was Meryl's or Madonna's—had been excellent, for she still looked like a "normal" human. The woman now in front of him did not.
Michelle had obviously once been a beautiful woman, though—because of the sneer that seemed permanently etched onto her face—she didn't hold a candle to her daughter. However, Michelle had had—in Eric's estimation—about five or six Botox injections too many and _all_ from the wrong doctor. Moreover, the stench of cigarette smoke clung to her so much that he could smell it from across the room.
"Well—look who _finally_ showed up," a young man, presumably Sookie's brother, drawled from next to the woman.
"Oh—don't be so harsh," Michelle Stackhouse said sarcastically, "Susanna's a New Yorker now. It's a miracle she even came at all. We _all_ know that she cares about _dear_ Adele _only_ for her money."
Hoping that his presence would block Sookie from the venom her mother was spewing, Eric stepped forward so that Sookie was a little behind him. What he really wanted to do was to punch out both Michelle and Jason Stackhouse, but Eric knew that such a thing wouldn't help Sookie—no matter how good it might feel.
"Who's this?" Michelle asked, turning her gaze to Eric and leering at him as if he were a piece of meat.
Eric ignored the look and the question and walked Sookie up to the desk. "Sookie Stackhouse is here to see Adele Stackhouse," he said.
The attendant looked up nervously. "Just a moment." She quickly pushed some buttons and made a call. "It'll be just another minute," the attendant said. "Mrs. Stackhouse's lawyer's back there, and she gets only one visitor at a time."
"She's awake?" Sookie stammered out.
The attendant smiled a little and nodded to the young woman.
Eric led Sookie over to the seats farthest away from Michelle and Jason and sat down with Sookie practically on his lap. He noticed that Sookie was staring at her mother with a lost look in her eyes.
"Sookie," Eric whispered in her ear so that only she could hear. "Min sol," he said when she didn't look at him right away.
Finally she turned to him.
He spoke quietly, probably too quietly for her even to hear, but he knew that she could read his lips. "I am here. Your gran is here. You are here. No one else matters. Those people don't matter."
Her lost look fading just a little, Sookie nodded even as the door leading to the ICU opened and Sid Matt Lancaster came out into the waiting room. He was followed by an attractive African American woman in a navy suit; the woman immediately nodded at Sookie and Eric.
"Miss Stackhouse," she said, extending her hand, "my name is Kenya Jones, and I'm the hospital administrator. It's my unpleasant duty to inform you that Jason and Michelle Stackhouse tried to have you barred from Adele Stackhouse's room."
"What?" Sookie asked, her heart dropping. Eric's arm around her shoulder was the only thing that kept her steady.
"Don't worry," Kenya said quickly. "After personally hearing from your grandmother and her attorney, I have deemed that barring you would be inappropriate. Since she has been awake, your grandmother has been asking for you." Kenya smiled comfortingly. "And I know that your being here will bring her great comfort. You can stay with her as long as you like," she added with a little glare in the direction of the other Stackhouses in the waiting room.
"Thanks," Sookie stammered as she went up to the front desk again in order to get her visitor's badge.
"I'm going with her," Eric said forcefully.
"Only one visitor at a time," the attendant said regretfully. "And only family or—uh—clergy and council."
"I'm Miss Stackhouse's fiancée, and I'm going with her," Eric said, his tone brooking no argument.
"Susanna doesn't have a fiancé," Michelle said nastily from across the room.
"And I don't see no ring," Jason added, suddenly next to them at the window.
Sid Matt stepped forward a little. His eyes were clearly red and showed his own sadness; however, he spoke firmly. "Adele visited Miss Stackhouse and her fiancée at Thanksgiving. I can vouch for this young man." He looked at the administrator. "Surely an exception can be made, given the situation."
Ms. Jones nodded and turned to the attendant. "Issue both of them badges and let them _both_ stay as long as they want."
"What about Jason?" Michelle piped in. "He's got a right to say goodbye to his grandmother too."
"Yeah!" Jason practically yelled. "I got rights here too!"
Ms. Jones stood up a little straighter and addressed the two with an air of authority. "I do _not_ appreciate troublemakers coming into my hospital and trying to air family problems when people are ill. Mrs. Stackhouse has made it very clear whom she wants to see, and I believe Jason Stackhouse has already visited her. If she asks for him again, he may go back _after_ Miss Stackhouse is done."
With that, Kenya motioned toward a hospital guard who'd just entered the room. She glared back at Jason and Michelle. "And if either of you causes even the tiniest of disturbances from here on out, you will _both_ be escorted from this building."
"You can't do that," Jason insisted unpleasantly.
"I can and I will," Kenya hissed before turning on her heel and leaving the waiting room.
* * *
Thankful that Eric would be going with her, Sookie breathed a sigh of relief and let him lead her through the door as the attendant buzzed them through. They were met by a kind-faced nurse whose nametag read Halleigh. Eric immediately recognized her name; she was the nurse who had been communicating with them.
"Hello, Sookie," Halleigh said with a caring smile. "I'm just gonna take you and Mr. Northman here to get gowned up so that you can visit with your grandmother—okay?"
Sookie nodded and then she and Eric followed Halleigh into a little room with a large sink. Halleigh instructed them on how to wash their hands and then outfitted them both with a gown and shoe coverings before taking them down the hall to Adele's room.
* * *
**A/N: Thanks so much for all the wonderful comments for the last chapter. As I knew would happen, many of you are upset about Gran. I am too. I have fallen in love with writing the Gran character (whom I've not gotten to work with much), and I love writing her with Elsa (Mormor). I don't want to give away what is coming; all I can say is that the story is dictating what happens.**
**Well—what do you think about your introduction to Michelle and Jason? Who wants to help me build a snake pit and drop them (along with Appius) into it? Of course, the only problem with that would be that the snakes would be "out-venomed." **
**Thanks for reading and continuing to support me and this story.**
**Until next time,**
**Kat **
**P.S. Remember that "cast" photos are available on my WordPress (californiakat1564 . wordpress . com).**
9. Chapter 9: Magic and Loss
**Chapter 09: Magic and Loss**
**[KLEENEX ALERT!]**
"_**There's a bit of magic in everything, and some loss to even things out."—Lou Reed**_
Sookie squeezed Eric's hand tightly as they entered the small hospital room, which was full of various machines. Immediately, a tear slipped down her cheek as she saw Gran lying in the midst of those machines. Adele, who had always been so full of life, now looked small and frail.
"Gran?" Sookie said, a bit uncertainly as she approached.
The elderly woman's eyes slowly opened and then took a few moments longer to focus.
"Sookie," came her weak voice. "Eric," she smiled a little before she frowned. "I must look a fright."
"You look beautiful, Adele," Eric said.
"Gran," she said. "It's about time you started calling me Gran."
"You look beautiful, Gran," Eric repeated, even as Sookie took her grandmother's hand.
Adele looked up at Sookie. Her words came slowly, but there was still humor behind them. "You'd better keep hold of this one. He knows how to flatter _and_ obey. Not many men can do those things these days," she chuckled to herself, which caused her to cough.
Halleigh appeared out of nowhere to give Adele a drink of water through a straw.
The elderly woman nodded her thanks to the nurse.
"Gran, I . . . ," Sookie started before more tears began to fall from her eyes.
"It's alright, darlin'," Adele said in a soft voice. She continued, still slowly, but with a strength that seemed to be coming from beyond her body. "I know. Dyin' right now is a shock to me too. I wish I would have lived to see you two have babies." She closed her eyes and smiled as if she had a secret. "But I can imagine them already. Blonde and tall and beautiful. And if they inherit even a fraction of the kindness and smarts that you two have in spades, they'll be somethin' real special. I just wish I could have stuck around long enough to meet them."
"You _will_ meet them," Sookie said insistently. "You'll get better. The doctors say that you can have another surgery tomorrow, and they'll fix you right up."
Adele opened her eyes and looked at Sookie lovingly. "I think my body's a little too tired for that, my sweet, sweet Sookie, but you and your Eric here have given me such wonderful memories in the last year of my life." She sighed. "It seems your granddaddy's just tired of waitin' for me. And—to be honest—I'm lookin' forward to bein' with him too."
Adele motioned for some more water, and—again—Halleigh was silently there, doing her best for her patient.
"Oh, Gran," Sookie said as she buried her face into her grandmother's hand.
"I won't tell you not to cry for me," Adele said, her voice a little less scratchy than before. "God knows, I've cried enough in my life to fill an ocean. But I _will_ tell you that I don't want you to mourn for me too much, Sookie. You've been sad for far too long in your life as it is, and it's high time for you to be happy."
"Oh, Gran," Sookie repeated.
Adele continued, her voice low, as if she were looking back into her memories. "I've lived a mighty fine life. And I got to spend most of it with my soul mate. We raised a family together. I just wish that I'd done better by you and Hadley," she sighed. "_Those_ are my regrets."
"Don't say that," Sookie said. "You saved me, Gran. You gave me a life!"
Gran coughed a little and squeezed Sookie's hand as much as she could. "I _should_ have done more—much sooner—to make sure you were okay. I just didn't know . . . ," she said, coughing again.
Once more, Halleigh was unobtrusively waiting to offer Adele a sip of water.
"It's okay, Gran," Sookie insisted. "You saved me," she said again. "You made it so I could hear again. You gave me a home and love and support. Without you in my life, I'd still be just a shell. Without you, I wouldn't have gone to college or to New York. I wouldn't have found Eric."
Gran smiled. "You have such a good heart, Sookie. And all I want for you is to have a happy life." She looked up at Eric and then back at Sookie. "Will you let me speak to your young man for a moment, sweetheart?"
Sookie wiped her eyes. "Okay," she said a little uncertainly.
Adele looked up at Halleigh. "Will you go with my granddaughter? Maybe get her and Eric some coffees."
"Ever the hostess," Eric said softly, bending down and kissing Adele lightly on the forehead from where he was standing next to Sookie.
Adele smiled weakly at him. "I might be dyin', but that's no excuse for bad manners," she winked at him, which elicited a little sob from Sookie.
"Don't go far," Adele said to Sookie. Halleigh handed Eric the water cup and then quietly left the room with Sookie.
Adele looked at Eric seriously. "I feel myself fadin' away more and more every second, but I have some unfinished business, and since you're in business, I thought we ought to talk alone for a moment."
"Okay," Eric said. He couldn't help but to smile at the still-feisty Adele as he gave her a sip of water.
"I can tell that you and Sookie have all the love in the world for each other. I hope you know how rare that is."
"I know," Eric answered honestly as he took Adele's hand. "I know."
"Promise me that you'll make her happy."
"I will," Eric swore. "I'll move heaven and earth to see her smile."
"Good man," Adele said with a weary sigh. "You _are_ plannin' to marry her—right?"
"Yes," Eric said without hesitation. "As soon as I can."
Adele laughed a little. "I'm glad. You both deserve love—and peace." She coughed again, this time more harshly.
"Should I get Sookie?" Eric asked. "The nurse?"
"Not quite yet," Adele said, motioning for another drink. She was silent for a few moments as she seemed to be storing up enough energy to continue speaking. Once again, she looked like she was pulling her strength from a source beyond herself. "I need to tell you some things," she finally said. "Just you—for now."
"Okay," Eric agreed.
"First, I want you and Sookie to stay at my house while you're here. Otherwise, I'm afraid that viper of a mother of hers will swoop in and clear everything out, and I wanna make sure my granddaughters—both Sookie and Hadley—get anything they want in the house."
Eric nodded. "Done. Michelle won't get her hands on anything."
"Good boy," Adele said with a devilish smirk before motioning for Eric to come closer; he bent down a little.
"Under my bed is a loose board," Adele said quietly. "Under it, there's a box that contains all the love letters my Earl ever wrote to me. I'd like to be buried with those."
"Of course," Eric said, his voice full of emotion.
"Love letters are a beautiful thing for a woman to get, Eric. You remember that!" she ordered, though the effort of doing so was clearly taxing for her.
"I will." Eric couldn't help but to marvel at Adele's continued strength of will and her fire as he gave her another drink.
"There's also a ring in the box with the letters. It's in an envelope with a letter of its own. The ring has been passed down in the Stackhouse family for generations and generations. Iris, my Earl's mother, was the last to wear it. But my finger was too damned fat to wear it after her—without the necessary alterations doin' it harm." Adele paused and motioned for another drink. After a few moments, she continued. "But Sookie's fingers are slim and elegant, just like Iris's. Now—it's an old ring, and the center stone in it was taken out to be buried with Iris, but it's still the most valuable thing in the Stackhouse family."
She coughed again.
"Maybe you should rest for a while," Eric said softly.
Adele shook her head. "Soon I'll be restin' forever. This time I've been given—this time with you and Sookie—it's a gift I don't plan on wastin'."
Eric nodded and gave her another drink.
"That ring—the Stackhouse ring—is bound with a lot of love, Eric," Adele conveyed. "And the letter gives its history. Make sure Sookie knows that history one day. You'll know when the time's right."
"I will," Eric promised.
"Did you know that my Earl's parents lived happily together for more than fifty years?"
"No," Eric shook his head as he gave Adele another drink.
The elderly woman smiled. "Earl always said that they never spoke a single cross word to each other, and I was able to see for myself how much they loved one another—right up to the end. The way that Iris and Finn looked at each other is the same way that you and Sookie look at each other—like you're swept away."
She half-sighed and half-coughed before she continued—her voice clearly weakening. "I loved my Earl with all my heart, and I truly think of him as my soul mate, but even we didn't have that kind of sweeping love."
She coughed again, and he gave her more water.
"I need you to promise me that you'll hold onto the love you have for my granddaughter—always."
"With both hands until the day I die," he swore. "Always."
She smiled at him. "I know you're rich, Eric, but I'd like for you to take the Stackhouse ring, put a new stone into the heart of it, and give it to Sookie when you officially ask for her hand. I want you to tell her the ring's story, and I want you to tell her how much I approve of you two gettin' married."
I tear rolled down his cheek. "Thank you, Gran. I will."
Gran smiled and sighed with relief—as if the last task that was troubling her was done. "I'd like to see Sookie again, but I need you to stay by her side. It won't be long now," she said tiredly.
"I'll get her," Eric said as he bent down and gave the woman another kiss on her forehead.
"Oh—and you'll be sure to tell Elsa goodbye for me. And tell her I'm sorry we never got to paint up New Orleans together," she added with a fading smile.
Eric nodded and brushed away another tear as he went to get his beloved.
* * *
Gran weakened in noticeable stages over the next hour as her coughing increased and her ability to speak decreased, but she didn't sleep. Eric recognized that Gran was fighting for every remaining minute of her life—and fighting to stay awake to enjoy those minutes.
Finally, Halleigh had to put a large oxygen mask over Adele's nose and mouth, in addition to the tube that had already been in her nose.
After that, Gran motioned for the mask to be taken off occasionally and talked in spurts as she could—mostly about Earl and about how proud she was of Sookie and Eric. At about 11:00 p.m., Hadley arrived at the hospital, but because of her HIV viral count, she wasn't allowed back into the ICU. Her husband, Remy Savoy, came in with a cute swaddled infant so that Adele could see her great-grandchild for a final time, and Remy said a short farewell on Hadley's behalf before taking a message to Hadley from Adele. Jason was invited in next, while Eric and Sookie stayed in the nurse's lounge so that they wouldn't have to go back into the waiting room with Michelle. At five minutes until midnight, Sookie and Eric went back into Adele's room.
By then, Gran needed the oxygen mask all the time, but she gestured for Sookie to come closer and to take off the mask for just a moment. She whispered a final "I love you," and then slipped into sleep with a serene look on her face.
Not ten minutes later, Adele Stackhouse slipped away from the world, and—if the prayers of those in the room were answered—right into the arms of her waiting Earl.
* * *
**A/N: Hello all. Many thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter. I'm sort of at a loss for words after editing this chapter. It always makes me cry. **
**In so many ways, the story dictated that Gran die at this point. Her death will set certain things into motion—some bad and some good. But—most importantly—Gran's death in the books is a major turning point for Sookie. **_**Or**_**—it **_**could**_** have been. I actually believe that Sookie suppresses her grief (and guilt) over Gran, which eventually leads to all kinds of problems for Sookie, including her inability to "give herself to love" after Bill. In this story, I wanted to give Sookie the chance to do something that Gran would have wanted: to grow and become stronger because of the loss, to recognize that the strength within her grandmother had passed along to her in fundamental and profound ways. And—perhaps most importantly—to learn that she is capable of surviving great loss with her "personhood" intact. She will need all of these lessons.**
**That said, I already miss Gran. I usually "pick up" the **_**TB/SVM**_** narrative after Gran's death, though she figures into the **_**Back and Forth**_** universe a little bit. But in **_**Comfortably Numb**_** and here, I got to delve into her character more, and it was wonderful (especially when she was "cutting up" with Elsa). Many thanks to Charlaine Harris for creating Adele Stackhouse and for the beautiful Lois Smith for bringing her to life. **
**I plan on one more chapter this week. (It used to be attached to this one, but I wanted to give Gran a proper coda, so it is now separate.) Since it's a bit shorter than usual, I should be able to have it to you on Monday or Tuesday. **
**Until then,**
**Kat**
10. Chapter 10: A Very Small Place
**Chapter 10: A Very Small Place**
Bobby looked down at his phone when it beeped. The message was short, but no less heartbreaking for it brevity: "Gran's gone."
Bobby crushed his finished cigarette into the ashtray he'd found on Adele's porch and sighed deeply. About ninety minutes before, he'd gotten another text from Eric—one asking him to make sure that Adele's home was secure until Sookie and he got there. Eric's concern was that—once Adele was gone—Michelle and Jason would try to get into the home and strip it clean of valuables.
Extremely thankful for a task to keep him busy during the dead of the night, Bobby had immediately traveled to the farmhouse. As much as he liked to take care of things himself, however, he speculated that he would need "official" back-up in order to avoid being arrested for kicking the asses of Sookie's mother and brother. Of course, he was tempted to knock them out and take them to "visit" their kind in the alligator farm he'd seen on the way to Bon Temps from Shreveport. But he knew that Sookie wouldn't approve of that—no matter how unimaginably reptilian her mother and sibling were.
It hadn't taken Bobby long to find the help he needed to keep Michelle and Jason away from the farmhouse—while at the same time ensuring that he would stay out of jail.
A call to a friend in the FBI in NYC had led to a new and trustworthy contact for Bobby. It just so happened that Bobby's friend had gone to Quantico with an agent in the Shreveport office, Travis Fletcher. A call to Agent Fletcher had yielded a boon. Not only did Fletcher offer his "off-the-record" assistance—if need be—but also a cousin of the agent's sister-in-law was a sheriff in Bon Temps, Louisiana, the very town where Adele lived.
Bobby smiled as he called Andy Bellefleur. If there was one thing that he had learned in his line of work, it was that the world could be a _very_ small place sometimes.
After Bobby name-dropped Agent Fletcher, Sheriff Bellefleur promised to send a patrol car to make sure that Adele's home remained unbothered, though he insisted that a "God-fearin' Christian" like Michelle Stackhouse wouldn't do anything of harm there since they were "family and all."
Bobby didn't believe that for a New York minute.
Bobby's next call was to Sid Matt Lancaster, who'd left the hospital after Sookie and Eric were situated. Sid Matt agreed to hold vigil at Adele's as well. Finally, Bobby called a car service and asked if a driver could be made available for Eric and Sookie when they were ready to leave the hospital. Luckily, the car service—though small—had something that would work, and for a little extra money, the driver agreed to go to the hospital immediately and to wait for Eric's call.
Those tasks complete half an hour before, Bobby had simply been waiting on Adele's porch for either his new allies or his new enemies or his "brother" and Sookie to arrive. He didn't exactly trust the sheriff to stop Michelle—since she was "family and all." And though Sid Matt seemed trustworthy enough, he was clearly on the north-side of eighty years old.
Fifteen minutes after Eric's text about Adele's death, a somewhat annoyed-looking Sheriff Andy Bellefleur pulled up, checked in with Bobby, and then took up a position near the end of the driveway. Five minutes after that, a weary-looking Sid Matt Lancaster pulled up.
"Have you heard? Adele's gone," Sid Matt sighed resignedly as he got out of his car.
"Yes, Eric let me know," he answered as he took in the man. He could tell that Sid Matt was quite upset over Adele's loss, and he couldn't help but to wonder if the two had been romantically involved. Adele had spoken of Sid Matt a few times over Thanksgiving, and she'd blushed like a schoolgirl when she spoke of him at any length. Plus, there had been the knowing looks exchanged between Elsa and Adele when Sid Matt's name had been brought up.
Bobby nodded to the elderly gent as Sid Matt spryly climbed the steps of the porch. Bobby couldn't help but to hope that he was right about Adele having romantic "companionship" during the last months of her life. From what Bobby had gathered, it seemed that Sid Matt was worthy of Adele. Not many would have been in Bobby's eyes.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Bobby said sympathetically. "I met Adele only a couple of times, but everything I knew about her told me that she was a wonderful woman." Bobby lit up another cigarette.
"One of the best I ever met," Sid Matt sighed. "You got another one of those?" he asked.
Bobby smiled a little and handed the older man a cigarette and his lighter.
Sid Matt took the offered items. "I haven't touched a cigarette in almost forty years," he chuckled after he coughed following his first inhale. "Once the health risks were known, my wife nagged me till I quit."
"I'm good at quitting them," Bobby smirked. "In fact, I quit all the time. Sadly, I'm just as good at starting up again."
Sid Matt chuckled and looked at Bobby's finger. "You just need a wife to nag you."
"The closest I've ever gotten to that is Eric's sister—and she prefers other women," Bobby intoned.
"No wonder you smoke then," Sid Matt kidded.
Both men chuckled. Sid Matt settled down into the porch swing, even as Bobby sat down on the steps of the porch. Seemingly becoming lost in his memories, Sid Matt stared into the woods surrounding Adele's home. Bobby was happy to give the older man some silence. And he couldn't help but to hope that the peace surrounding the farmhouse would remain in place for Sid Matt's sake—even though he was craving a little action _and_ the opportunity to "justifiably" knock out at least Jason Stackhouse, if not Michelle.
* * *
A half an hour after Adele had died peacefully in her sleep, Halleigh returned to her hospital room. The kind nurse had left after Adele passed away in order to give the couple some time alone with the woman they'd lost.
She walked to the opposite side of the bed from the couple. Sookie was cradled on Eric's lap in the small room's only chair. The young woman still held her grandmother's hand in hers, and Eric's chin was resting on Sookie's shoulder.
"If y'all are ready," Halleigh said softly, "I need to get Miss Adele ready to be taken downstairs."
Sookie seemed startled by the nurse's voice and sniffled loudly.
"We're keeping you from your job," Sookie said apologetically.
"Not at all, Sookie," Halleigh said with a compassionate smile. "I don't mean to rush y'all."
"It's okay," Sookie said as she looked at Gran. "I know she's not here anymore. It's just that I want her to be."
Halleigh reached out and patted Sookie's hand, which was still over her grandmother's. The nurse noticed that the young woman's other hand was tucked safely into the grasp of her man. She couldn't help but to sigh a little as she took them in.
Eric Northman looked like he'd stepped right out of a Hollywood movie. In fact, he'd been the talk of the ward that night, but since Halleigh was happily involved with someone—albeit a balding, middle-aged someone with a bit of a gut—she'd just appreciated the handsome man silently.
"I knew Miss Adele a little, even before today," the nurse shared. "That's why I wanted to be assigned to her and stayed on with her after my shift officially ended."
"How did you know her?" Sookie asked.
"I recently moved in with my boyfriend in Bon Temps," Halleigh responded.
"Who's your boyfriend?" Sookie asked.
"Did you grow up in Bon Temps?"
Sookie nodded in affirmation.
"Then, I reckon you know Andy Bellefleur—right?"
"The sheriff?"
"Yep," Halleigh answered, her voice conveying her pride in her boyfriend. "I can't say I've met too many people in Bon Temps nicer than Miss Adele. I haven't socialized much since I work 20-hour shifts three times a week, but Miss Adele always made me feel real welcome at church whenever I could get there."
Sookie smiled. "That sounds like her."
Halleigh returned Sookie's smile. "At church, she talked a little about her granddaughters—about you and your cousin. I could tell she was real proud of both of you."
"Thank you," Sookie said, turning her hand over to squeeze Halleigh's. "I'll be sure to tell that to Hadley too."
Halleigh's smile faded, and she looked at Sookie a little regretfully. "Before he left, Sid Matt dealt with most of the paperwork—with the hospital bill and whatnot. But—I'm sorry. There are a few more papers you'll have to sign before you go. But I've told Sally that you'll be there soon, and she's got everything ready so y'all can get in and out."
"Where will . . . ." Sookie's voice shook as she stopped midsentence.
"Where will Adele be taken?" Eric asked, intuiting what Sookie was going to ask.
"Sid Matt made the arrangements that Miss Adele asked for," Halleigh said softly. "I'll take the tubes and such out of her, and I'll clean her up a bit. Then she'll go to the morgue until someone from the Bon Temps funeral home comes to get her tomorrow. Then they'll make her look her best for the funeral service."
"Do I—uh—need to do anything?" Sookie asked tearfully.
"No," Halleigh comforted. "I overheard Sid Matt talking with Miss Adele earlier, and she pretty much had everything planned for—just in case. I reckon Sid Matt will call you tomorrow to make arrangements to pick up the dress she wanted to be buried in, but you shouldn't worry about anything tonight," Halleigh said kindly.
"And the paperwork downstairs? What is that for?" Eric asked.
"Mostly—it's so that Miss Adele's personal effects can be released to you," Halleigh informed. "She didn't come in with much, and her nightgown had to be cut off of her, but I think the paramedics grabbed her purse and keys for her, and she had a wedding ring on."
"Thank you," Eric said.
Sookie stood up straight, and Halleigh could tell that the strength that had been an inherent part of Adele Stackhouse had been inherited by her granddaughter.
"We would like for you to come to the funeral if you can, Halleigh," Sookie requested.
"I'd like that," the nurse smiled.
* * *
Eric stayed next to Sookie as she signed the papers she needed to sign in order to claim Adele's property; then, he texted the number for the driver Bobby had arranged to take them to Bon Temps. Eric was grateful that Bobby had thought about the fact that he would want a driver. Eric could have driven, of course, but all he really craved was to hold Sookie close as she grieved her great loss. He could tell that she was exhausted—drained both physically and emotionally—and he wanted to get her to Gran's home as soon as possible.
Once they were in the car, Sookie fell asleep against him quickly—something that Eric was very relieved about, especially when he received a text from Bobby after they'd been on the road for about fifteen minutes.
Upon reading the text, Eric quickly dialed his friend.
"Are they still there?" he asked quietly so as not to disturb Sookie.
"We just got rid of them," Bobby responded. "The sheriff had to threaten to arrest them, so it took a little while, but they're gone now. Adele was right. They were _definitely_ intending to break into the house. They were each driving a fucking truck, Eric!"
"Was it Sheriff Bellefleur that got them to go?" Eric asked.
"How'd you know his name?"
"Halleigh, Adele's nurse, mentioned him. She was," he paused, "kind to Sookie. She's dating Bellefleur."
"Small world," Bobby observed as if to himself.
"Do you think they'll come back?" Eric asked.
Bobby sighed. "Probably not tonight, but I'm guessing they'll return tomorrow. Sid Matt's being here helped a lot. As Adele's attorney, he was able to spur Officer Bellefleur into action by telling him about the last request Adele made of him."
"Which was?" Eric asked.
"Do you want the quote?" Bobby asked, his voice conveying amusement.
"Yeah," Eric returned with a small smile of his own.
"Adele told Sid Matt to keep everyone but you and Sookie out of her fuckin' house. Of course, she also told him to make apologies for her language—though she made clear that she was certain that God would forgive her in this case."
Eric chuckled softy so that he wouldn't disturb Sookie. "That sounds _exactly_ like Gran. So—will Bellefleur keep an officer there all night?"
"He's staying until 3:00 a.m., and then he's sending someone else until noon tomorrow," Bobby reported. "By then Sid Matt with have filed an injunction banning Michelle Stackhouse and Jason Stackhouse from entering the premises. He left right after Michelle and Jason did in order to get the paperwork started. Plus, I have a call in to a private security firm so that we can get some guards here beginning tomorrow."
"Good," Eric sighed. "We'll be there in about thirty minutes, and I don't want Sookie to have to deal with any of this—not tonight."
"She won't have to," Bobby promised. "And I'll be here keeping watch too."
"Bobby?" Eric said.
"Yeah?"
"I don't tell you this enough, but you're probably the best friend I've ever have—the best one I _will_ ever have."
"There's no probably about it," Bobby said with certainty. "And we are not friends, Eric. You are my brother," he added before hanging up the phone.
* * *
**A/N: Well—here's my fourth chapter this week. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and a busy first of the week, so this will be it for this go around. You can expect this story back sometime around March 5.**
**Thanks so much for the continued comments and support!**
**XOXO,**
**Kat**
11. Chapter 11: Grief of Several Kinds
**Chapter 11: Grief of Several Kinds**
_**Grief is the price we pay for love.—Queen Elizabeth II**_
* * *
_**Sunday, December 30**_
_**Eric POV**_
Eric sighed as he turned down the blankets of the bed in Sookie's old room. Adele had died three nights before.
As it had turned out, Eric couldn't keep Sookie sheltered from all of her mother's antics, no matter how hard he'd tried. The morning after Adele's death, Michelle and Jason Stackhouse had shown up at the house with a U-Haul truck and had tried to convince Sookie to let them take "a few things" that Michelle _swore_ they'd been promised.
During the same "conversation," Michelle had also tried false affection, ridicule, bullying, and guilt. But Eric had stood as a buffer, and—true to his word—Sid Matt had come through with a court order banning Michelle and Jason from entering onto the property without permission. Despite that, however, Eric had still hired two guards from a private security firm recommended by Bobby's FBI contact in order to make sure that the house stayed secure.
Although Adele had died in the very early hours of Friday morning, her funeral could not be held until the following Thursday, January 3, due to the holidays and the fact that the town's only funeral director was sick with the flu. Of course, Sam had been quick to offer Sookie all the time off she needed. However, Eric's work schedule was another matter, and he had needed to scramble in order to move things back.
He sighed again as he thought about how Sookie had tried to convince him to return to Manhattan while she stayed in Bon Temps. But there was no way in hell he was going to leave her alone to bury her gran and to deal with Michelle Stackhouse!
Luckily, Eric had a great team at NP, and his current executive assistant, Clancy—whom he'd hand-selected after he realized that Ginger had been reporting information to his father out of her ignorance of the situation between them—was always on top of things. Added to that was the fact that Eric ran his division with great efficiency, so with the addition of high-speed Internet in Gran's house—which had been installed that afternoon, despite the fact that it was a Sunday—Eric had been able to set up a little office for himself, and he'd already completed all the business he'd previously planned for the Friday before. Given the fact that it was New Year's Eve the next day, there would not be much to do early in the week, but he and Sookie planned to stay through Saturday to settle Gran's affairs, and beginning Wednesday, he would need to do quite a bit of work. And Adele's old dial-up system just wouldn't have been sufficient for that.
Actually, Bobby had been the one to arrange for the high-speed Internet access—in addition to doing about a million other things. Eric had tried to give his friend a raise, though Bobby had told him to "fuck off" when he mentioned it. Eric couldn't help but to smile a little bit as he recalled that conversation.
Meanwhile, Pam and Amelia had been helping to run interference with Appius.
The official story—mentioned casually to Nora by Pam—was that Eric and one of his girlfriends were both very sick with the flu. Pam explained that Eric would be working from home until his doctor said he was no longer contagious and that the girlfriend was also staying with him.
Since Eric had rushed from Appius's office, Sigebert or Wybert had been watching Carmichael Tower building 24-7, and Amelia was doing her part by staying over. She was actually cat-sitting a very lonely Ned, who'd been banned from Pam's home twenty minutes into his "visit" after he'd climbed her silk drapes. Of course, Amelia was also spending quality time with Pam.
Thalia, however, was the true star of the deception. Using some equipment Bobby had gotten, Eric recorded himself calling Clancy's cell phone the evening before; of course, Eric had feigned his best sick-voice. Working her magic, Thalia had made it seem like Eric was speaking from his office at home.
That morning, Pam and Amelia had also given a performance for Appius's listening pleasure. They'd pretended that they were looking for a book for Eric in his office since he was too sick to get out of bed. They had talked about how Amelia was starting to feel a tad bit better and about how sweet it was of Eric to rush to her side when he'd discovered she was sick—only to fall victim to the flu himself. And—in true Pam fashion—she had made sure to snark that they'd better not infect her.
Eric had also instructed Clancy to send Andre an email explaining that Eric was ill and would likely be working from home for most—if not all—of the upcoming week. The email also conveyed Eric's apologies for running out of the meeting. Eric explained his sudden departure by saying that he'd learned that a friend of his was ill.
The explanation for Eric's hasty exit from the meeting was imperfect at best, but the other pieces of the story helped to corroborate it. And they were all hoping that Appius would buy the ruse. The fact that Eric had dropped everything to "rush to Amelia's side" would be potentially problematic—as would the fact that she was staying over with him. These pieces of news would make it seem as if Eric and Amelia were closer than the "fuck buddies" they'd been portraying themselves to be, but Bobby was already trying to come up with ways to turn the situation to their advantage.
The New Year's holiday was also convenient, given the fact that the office would be closed for the following two days. That meant that Eric would be missing only three days of work that week. He would also have less work to see to than normal, which, in turn, would mean that he'd be able to put most of his focus where it belonged: on Sookie.
He sighed. Adele had requested that her Will be read before her funeral, so Sid Matt had made arrangements for the reading of the document to occur in his office on the morning of December 31—the next day.
Eric took off his T-shirt and lounge pants and got into bed. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples for a moment. He wished that he could spare Sookie from having to be in the same room as Michelle, but he couldn't. Sookie had been named executrix of the Will, so she had to be there. And, unfortunately, both Michelle and Jason were named in the Will as well.
Eric heard the shower turn off and knew that Sookie would be joining him in a moment. It had been during the first shower she'd taken the morning after they arrived that he'd secured the box Adele had told him about. After only a few minutes of searching, he'd found the loose board under Adele's bed. After taking out the ring and the letter explaining its history, Eric had shown Sookie the love letters Adele had spoken about, the letters that Earl had written to her. Bobby had had no trouble making sure that they would be with Adele in her casket so that they would be buried with her.
"What are you thinking about?" Sookie asked as she climbed into bed with him. She was wearing one of Eric's T-shirts and a thick pair of socks, which he knew she'd shed once she'd been in bed for a few minutes.
Eric smiled. "Love letters. Gran suggested that it was a good idea to send them."
Sookie returned his smile and raised her hand to his cheek before leaning in for a soft kiss, which she quickly deepened.
When she pulled back, they were both a little breathless.
"If you're not ready, we don't have to," Eric said.
"I want you," Sookie replied, moving closer to him. "Gran wouldn't want me to stop living. And," she said with a twinkle in her eyes, "she'd want us to get plenty of practice for when we start making her great-grandbabies."
Eric chuckled. "Yes—she seemed to have very _definite_ ideas in that regard."
"She really liked you," Sookie said quietly.
"And she really _loved_ you."
Sookie sighed. "I should have been here—taking care of her. I shouldn't have," she paused, "held back so much from her for so long."
Eric cradled her cheek in his large palm. "Sookie, Gran didn't need taking care of. Just think about what she and Mormor got up to in Sweden and then again in Manhattan. She was strong and active—quite literally until the day she died."
"But if someone would have called the ambulance right away . . . ." Sookie stopped midsentence.
"Don't," Eric ordered. "Even if you'd been living here, there would have been no guarantee that you would have been home when Gran had her first heart attack." He sighed. "And she wouldn't have wanted you to stay in Bon Temps; you know that as well as I do. She knew why you couldn't stay here. And she loved you, Sookie; she was proud of you and the life you've made for yourself."
A tear slid down Sookie's cheek as she leaned into Eric's chest and held on for dear life. "What do you think she'll do tomorrow?" she asked after a few moments of quiet.
Knowing exactly which "she" Sookie was referring to, Eric sighed. Being Appius Northman's hated son had taught him _exactly_ what Michelle Stackhouse was capable of doing.
"She'll try to hurt you—to crush you—any way she can," he sighed. "But you won't let her."
"And you'll be there," she said. She didn't need to ask.
"Yes. I will," he confirmed. "Right there next to you."
She kissed his bare chest, even as he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
"I talked to Pam earlier," Eric said after a while. "We owe her a new sweater—as well as the drapes."
"Ned?" Sookie asked with a smile in her voice.
"Who else? Apparently, she was trying to prevent him from climbing the Christmas tree."
Sookie giggled. "Big mistake."
"On Pam's part," he chuckled.
"You know—Ned's going to be pissed at us when we take the tree down."
"We'll just remember not to wear any clothing we value that day."
She raised herself up to look into his eyes. "Let's practice that now."
"Practice what?"
"The not wearing clothing part."
He chuckled and bent down, capturing her lips with his. It wasn't long before the few garments they had on were decorating the floor. And not long after that, they were discovering the squeaks in the old bed.
_**Sookie POV **_
Sookie knew that she was probably squeezing Eric's hand way too hard, but she couldn't stop herself. She looked down at her clothing: blue jeans and a gray cardigan over a light blue camisole—and her red coat, of course. Pam had selected her clothing quickly when she had packed small bags for both Eric and her. Sookie had been happy to see that most of the things packed were casual, though her black work suit was also in there. However, that was for the funeral.
Sookie had had no idea what to wear for the reading of a Will, but she'd done the best she could with what she had.
She needn't have worried. Jason showed up in an old letterman's jacket, a well-worn T-shirt, and dirty-looking jeans. And Michelle Stackhouse looked comically overdressed in her flouncy black dress and veiled black hat. Sookie wanted to tell her mother that the Will had already been written, so there was no longer a need for her to play the part of a dutiful daughter-in-law in public, but she didn't want to have any interaction with Michelle Stackhouse, so she refrained from making the comment.
Of course, avoiding a confrontation with Michelle and Jason was a pipedream, but Sookie was determined to try doing just that.
* * *
_**Sid Matt POV**_
"What's _he_ doing here?" Michelle asked as soon as she saw Eric. "It should be only family!" she yelled venomously in Sookie's direction.
"Right!" Jason echoed, managing to look both confused and personally affronted at the same time.
"Mr. Northman was named in Adele's Will," Sid Matt said calmly, though his face conveyed his disapproval of Michelle's questioning Eric's presence.
Sid Matt had to hold in his sigh as he gestured toward the coffee he'd had his secretary set up on one side of the little conference room. He'd known Michelle Stackhouse her whole life—for fifty years, give or take—but he'd never been privy to the side of her that he'd seen during the past several days.
Of course, he wasn't really surprised to know that there were secrets under the veneer of the Stackhouse family. After all, he was one of the only lawyers in the region; thus, he'd learned some pretty damned disconcerting things about his friends and neighbors over the years. No—he wasn't surprised; he was just disappointed—but mostly for Adele's and Susanna's sakes.
Sid Matt had known Adele for upwards of seventy years. He'd even been paying her courting calls for the last two of those years! But she'd never shared any indication of her problems with her daughter-in-law, and that fact made him a little sad. Of course, he could have been privy to things if he'd read over Adele's Will or the recent additions to it, but he was not in the practice of doing that sort of thing. No—unless he was asked to help in the writing of it, he was never aware of the specific contents of a client's Will until he previewed it before the official reading. And Adele's final wishes had been no different.
Sid Matt sighed. It was safe to say that—until Bobby Burnham had called him—he would have never imagined that Michelle Stackhouse was anything other than the kind Southern woman she projected herself to be. But a scrape of the surface had revealed something very ugly underneath.
Burnham had contacted Sid Matt the previous Thursday and had told him about Adele's heart attack. Truth be told, Sid Matt had been surprised that he hadn't already heard about it, given the grease with which the gossip mill in Bon Temps usually ran. And, if he would have known, he would have gone to Adele sooner—but for _personal_ reasons.
However, Burnham, who had first identified himself as Susanna Stackhouse's lawyer, had requested that Sid Matt drive to the hospital in Shreveport for professional reasons.
The elderly attorney closed his eyes for a moment as he remembered his goodbye with the woman who'd been his friend and who—because of the miracle of Viagra—had also become his lover four months before. Adele had been the second woman that Sid Matt had been forced to say goodbye to well before he was ready. Julia, his wife of fifty years, had been the first. And—although his relationship with Adele had been different—they had offered each other the companionship they'd been craving, and he'd hoped to enjoy that for years to come.
Julia had been his soul mate. But Adele had made him laugh more than any other person ever had. And—at his age—he knew of the value of laughter.
He'd loved both women, and he would continue to love them until the day he died.
Sid Matt shook his head sadly as he thought about how quickly time passed and how fleeting life was. Adele had been almost ten years his junior, though he could hardly remember a time when she wasn't a part of his life in some way. She had been his own dear wife's best friend. And Sid Matt's brother, Jacob, had been Earl Stackhouse's closest friend. Hell—Jacob and Earl had even served together in the army!
The elderly gentleman sighed. Both Julia and Jacob had been a little lost when Earl and Adele had moved to New Orleans about a quarter of a century before. Thus, Sid Matt had gone to New Orleans with his wife and/or brother many times over the years in order to visit with the Stackhouses. Of course, Sid Matt had never considered romance with Adele until both of their spouses had passed on.
After Earl's death, Adele had moved back to Bon Temps. It had seemed natural—sweet even—when Susanna had moved in with the widow, although the teenager hadn't yet graduated from high school. Around that time, Sid Matt had overheard Michelle Stackhouse telling some people at church that it had been difficult for her to let Susanna move out of her home, but that Adele was so lonely that it was her Christian duty to make sure her mother-in-law was well taken care of.
At the time, Sid Matt had found the mother's sacrifice to be admirable, and he'd been happy for it for Adele's sake. Adele certainly hadn't said or done anything to indicate that she had trouble with her son's widow. The only hint he'd ever gotten was years before—when Julia had made a comment that Earl and Adele were estranged from their son Corbett. But Sid Matt hadn't asked his wife any questions about that; for better or worse, it had never really been the lawyer's personality to want to delve too far into the personal lives of his friends and acquaintances. Perhaps that was because his profession forced him into those lives too often as it was. And the ever intuitive Adele had probably sensed that about him.
Indeed, except when she was in the throes of passion—at which time she would curse like a sailor—Adele had always been the picture of Southern politeness and restraint. Sid Matt smiled a little.
Of course, Adele could gossip with the best of them. But—thinking back—Sid Matt realized that Adele was someone who preferred gossiping about the good things in life, like who was having a new grandbaby or who was taking a vacation. And she'd never shared negative gossip about her own kin—at least not around him.
It was safe to say that—despite his friendships with Adele and Earl—Sid Matt had never really looked closely at the rest of the Stackhouses, even after Adele had moved back—even after his own romantic interest in her was piqued.
Sid Matt was ashamed to admit that some of that lack of looking had to do with Susanna herself. Everyone in town had always talked about how the girl was "different." Apparently, she had become deaf during her early childhood, but she could still talk, which was an oddity in and of itself. But she could also "listen" since she'd learned how to read lips. At times, Sid Matt had noticed the way that young Susanna would stare at everyone and everything in a room, her eyes always trained on people's lips even if they were far away from her. It had been disconcerting to Sid Matt when he would glance around a room only to find the little girl's eyes trained on his mouth as if she were studying it. Most people in town thought the girl to be "strange," perhaps even "touched in the head." In truth, he'd felt a little sorry for Michelle Stackhouse, having to deal with such a difficult situation.
And he'd also made a concerted effort to stay out of Susanna's sightline.
Truth be told, when Susanna had gone off to college, the whole town—including himself—had let out a collective sigh of relief. No longer would they have to monitor their words in public places when "crazy Susan" was in the area.
Since Adele's death, Sid Matt had spent his nights tossing and turning as he thought about the woman with whom he'd been in a relationship—albeit a "secret" one. The elderly pair had made the decision to keep their own romantic association quiet for "decorum's" sake. It had been only four years since Sid Matt had lost his wife, and, given the fact that Julia and Adele had remained so close over the years, it hadn't seemed "proper" to Adele to publicize the fact that she'd "hooked up" with her deceased best friend's widower. Given that secret, Sid Matt couldn't help but to wonder what other mysteries Adele had been holding onto—all for the sake of decorum.
Sid Matt had also been thinking about what things might have been like for little Susanna. For the first time, he'd let himself dwell on the little girl in his memories and not on his own discomfort or the things that others in the town had said about her. And when he did linger on that child, he realized what had made him uncomfortable around her in the first place. It was not her lip reading; it was her eyes when she did it. Though they studied, they always seemed devoid of emotion. He'd compared them to the cold eyes of a reptile, and he'd looked away from them. What he _should_ have done was to ask "why" her eyes were that way.
He now had a strong feeling that those eyes were so empty because of the veiled woman now crying crocodile tears as her son poured her a cup of coffee.
At the Shreveport hospital—away from the people she knew and wanted to impress—Michelle Stackhouse hadn't seemed to be the same woman he thought he knew at all! Jason also had acted differently. Oh—Sid Matt had known that Jason Stackhouse had grown up to be a bit arrogant and uncouth, and the young man was _certainly_ a womanizer, but the lawyer had figured that was a stage of youth. And at the church, at the local fishing spots, or in the cafés and the bar of the little town, the boy was respectful and pleasant enough to the older men of Bon Temps.
But with the strangers at the hospital, Michelle and Jason had behaved differently—_very_ differently. As Sid Matt arrived at the ICU waiting room, he could tell that Michelle and Jason had been arguing with the hospital administrator over whether Susanna should be allowed to see Adele—just as Burnham had said they would be doing. Sid Matt had been shocked by their venom—_until_ they'd seen him in the room. After that, they'd become more restrained, even claiming that they were doing what they thought was best for Adele—that they were trying to _protect_ the old woman from her scheming granddaughter.
To Sid Matt, that dog just didn't hunt!
In private, Adele had actually talked about Susanna quite a bit, and when she did, it was always with great love and pride in her voice. Sid Matt knew that Adele's granddaughter had graduated from college and gotten a Master's degree in English. He knew that she had a good job in New York City and that she was doing well there. In fact, Adele had visited Sookie in New York over Thanksgiving. The previous summer, she'd even gone on a vacation to Sweden with the girl and her beau. And none of those things had indicated that there had been a rift between Adele and the girl she'd called Sookie.
But Michelle and Jason had been insisting that the stress over a falling-out with Sookie had been the cause of Adele's heart attack, and the hospital administrator had been forced to take that possibility into account. However, Halleigh Robinson, whom Michelle and Jason hadn't recognized as Andy Bellefleur's girlfriend—probably since she'd not been living in Bon Temps for long—had attested that Adele had been asking for her granddaughter and had even given Halleigh a phone number for her.
Luckily, Adele had more fully awoken from her sedative by the time Sid Matt arrived. And she was full of the spirit she was known for—despite her weakness. After talking to Halleigh and asking her to call another granddaughter—Hadley—Adele had spoken to both the hospital administrator and Sid Matt. What she'd requested of them was surprising to the lawyer, but he could tell that Adele was as lucid as ever.
First, she'd told them that she didn't want Michelle Stackhouse anywhere near her—lest she try to pull the damned plug—_or_ her property—lest she try to take everything that wasn't nailed down and pry up the things that were. And she'd asked to see Sookie and "her young man" as soon as they got there. She also asked that her Will be read _before_ her funeral and that Sid Matt look out for Sookie—to make sure she wasn't bothered—while she was in Bon Temps.
After that, Kenya Jones had stepped out of the room so that Adele and he could say a private goodbye. That goodbye had been difficult for Sid Matt, and he'd wanted to stay with Adele, but the feisty woman—true to her stubborn ways—had insisted that he go home. Knowing how being there for his Julia's death had almost killed him, she'd told him that she wanted him to remember her alive and well. She'd had her trademark sparkle in her eye as she'd ordered him to remember what they'd been doing just a week before that—on the kitchen table.
Sid Matt had obeyed Adele's directive. And—in his grief—he'd been grateful that he could slip into "lawyer mode" when honoring her other final requests of him. Even after hearing Adele bar Michelle from her room, however, Sid Matt had been shocked to witness the display between Michelle, Jason, and a clearly distraught Susanna when he and Ms. Jones returned to the waiting room.
Of course, he'd been even more shocked when Burnham had been right about Michelle and Jason showing up at Adele's property the very night she died. It didn't take a genius to understand that they were there—in _two_ trucks no less—to take valuables from the home. But when they'd returned the next day with a U-Haul, Sid Matt had wanted to get a bullhorn and shout out from the town square that Michelle Stackhouse was as two-faced as it got! Sadly, he couldn't do that, given the nature of his work.
But he'd really, _really_ wanted to.
Trying to separate himself from his own grief at losing Adele, Sid Matt studied the countenances of the people in his conference room, even as he gestured for Judy, his assistant, to set up the tape recorder. He had decided that he was going to record the session just in case someone—namely Michelle—decided to contest the Will. Sid Matt gazed first at Jason Stackhouse, who had a look of eagerness on his face. The lawyer had seen that look many a time; it was the expression of someone who was not grieving at all. Jason Stackhouse was only there to see what he was getting.
Michelle Stackhouse—despite her dramatic mourning weeds—had no less eager eyes than her son, though she tried to hide that fact with an affected frown and the occasional dabbing of her eyes with a lace handkerchief.
No. The only true grief in the room emanated from Susanna and her man. The young woman's eyes were red and swollen, most likely from several days' worth of intermittent crying. Mr. Northman, who was holding Susanna to him like he was her scaffold, looked no less distraught, though his expression was a mixture of grief and concern for the woman next to him. Sid Matt had seen Eric's look before too—though sadly not as often as Jason's or Michelle's. It was the look of an individual who was saddened by the death of someone—but mostly because of the sorrow that had been left behind in someone else. It was one of the more unselfish reactions to death that Sid Matt had witnessed over the years, and the elderly attorney immediately liked the young man even more than he had at the hospital.
"Why don't we all have a seat," Sid Matt invited. It didn't escape his notice that Mr. Northman waited until Michelle and Jason had chosen their seats before leading Susanna as far away from them as possible and putting himself between them as well. He also noticed the gentle look exchanged between the couple as Eric helped her take off her coat and then pulled out her seat for her. Eric was offering her all of his strength for what was to come, and Susanna was thanking him with her eyes.
Sid Matt smiled a little as he sat down. At his age, he had come to understand that it was often the simplest things that were the most profound and the most permanent. And he knew that looks like the one he had witnessed indicated that the evident love between the couple would endure.
He began. "Now, I've asked Judy, my secretary, to sit in so that these proceedings can be recorded."
"Why is that necessary, Sid Matt?" Michelle asked, trying to fake congeniality.
Now that he knew her act, Sid Matt didn't have any trouble deciphering it. However, he answered as pleasantly as he could. "It's just to make sure that everything is kept above board, Michelle. It's important that Adele's final wishes are followed—don't you agree?"
Michelle, though clearly displeased, offered a curt nod and dabbed her clearly-dry eyes. "Of course. Anything for dear, _dear_ Adele."
Sid Matt looked over at Susanna. "My dear, I know this is an odd question to ask, but what would you like for me to call you? Your name is written as 'Susanna' on the legal documents, but some people in town used to call you 'Susan.' However, your grandmother always called you 'Sookie,' and so does your young man."
"Whatever's fine," the young woman responded somewhat timidly.
Michelle scoffed.
At that, Sookie sat up a little straighter and gave Michelle a look of challenge. "Actually, my friends call me Sookie, Mr. Lancaster. I'd like for you to call me that."
He smiled kindly at her even as he tried to ignore the subtle snorts of derision from the other end of the table.
"Then you must call me Sid Matt, my dear," he said. "Alright," he continued at a louder volume so that it was clear that he was addressing all those present. "This shouldn't take too long. I'll read the Will and the codicil. Then Adele instructed me to read a letter."
Sid Matt pushed a box of Kleenex over toward Sookie but then noticed that Eric had already handed her a handkerchief. He smiled at the young man and gave him a nod.
Indeed—he liked this Eric Northman very much.
* * *
**A/N: Hello! I hope that you are ready for the next "cycle" of **_**Touch the Flame**_**! I'll try to get you at least two more chapters this week.**
**Thanks to those of you who commented on the last "cycle!" I really appreciate your sticking with me as I switch from one story to another. **
**I hope you enjoyed seeing things from Sid Matt's POV. Many of you have been wanting to "see" Michelle's unpleasantness in action. Buckle up!**
**Until then,**
**Kat **
**Remember to check out my wordpress to see Sephrenia's banners for the characters. (californiakat1564 . wordpress . com)**
12. Chapter 12: Bequest
**Chapter 12: Bequest**
Sookie was squeezing his hand tightly, but Eric didn't care about any discomfort he was experiencing. He knew that she needed to hold onto him with all her might at that moment, and he intended to make sure she didn't lose her grip, so he moved his chair so that it was flush with hers and put one of his long arms around her shoulders.
He saw Sookie biting her lip signaling her nervousness as Sid Matt began to speak again: "The Will begins with Adele Stackhouse's declaration of sound mind. The document is dated March 12, 2009 and replaced an earlier Will. I was Adele's attorney of record and hereby testify to her mental acuity. The witnesses of the Will were Mrs. Maxine Fortenberry and Mr. Bud Dearborn. The property is divided according to person, and I will read aloud Adele's words on the division if that is amenable to you all."
"A-men-able?" Jason asked. "Is that fancy lawyer talk?"
Sid Matt sighed but spoke with patience. "I'm just asking if that's okay with y'all, Jason."
Jason nodded his agreement, as did the others in the room.
Sid Matt glanced at Sookie and then looked back at Jason. He read: "To my grandson Jason Stackhouse, I leave the house at 125 Mulberry Road. I also leave $5,000.00 to cover the property taxes for a couple of years, which will help Jason adapt to home ownership. In addition, Jason is to have his grandfather's wedding ring and stopwatch, both of which the executrix can pass along to him through Sid Matt Lancaster."
"Who's the executrix?" Michelle half-asked and half-demanded.
Sid Matt sighed. "Sookie," he said evenly.
Michelle scoffed. "It should have been me—as Adele's daughter-in-law."
Sid Matt gave Michelle a look that thankfully shut her up for a moment and then continued reading. "To Michelle Stackhouse: I leave $1,000 on the condition that the directions in the letter accompanying this document are followed."
"That's all? That's all I get? After everything I did for her?" Michelle asked in an indignant and demanding tone.
"Michelle," Sid Matt said sternly. "Please refrain from outbursts."
Michelle sank back into her seat and seethed.
"To Susanna Stackhouse, my beloved granddaughter," Sid Matt continued reading, "I leave the remainder of my estate, including the house and property on Hummingbird Lane and all other monies and property. I also nominate Susanna Stackhouse as the executrix of this Will. I hope that I will not carry much debt when I pass, and I have already paid for my funerary and burial costs; however, I leave it up to Susanna to take care of all remaining debt that I leave behind."
"How much money?" Michelle demanded in Sookie's direction. "How much did she swindle that poor woman for?"
"Why ain't I gettin' half? Five thousand and that house ain't half," Jason piped in.
Sid Matt sighed again, this time more noticeably. "There is a codicil to the Will, which I will read now. It was completed just last August."
"What the hell's a con-di-cin-al?" Jason asked.
"It's an extra part," Sid Matt explained.
"Does that mean I get extra stuff?" Jason inquired.
Sid Matt ignored Jason's question and soldiered on. "The codicil doesn't change Jason's inheritance and the money set aside for Michelle. However, it does include a few more provisions; Adele made it up after she'd been reunited with her other granddaughter, Hadley." He took a breath and then read. "To Hadley Delahoussaye-Savoy and Remy Savoy, I leave $5,000. To Hunter Savoy, I leave $5,000, which I direct Susanna to place into a trust for him so it will be ready for his college—should he choose to go. If he does not, the fund is to be released to him when he turns 21."
"A little kid gets more than me!" Michelle cried out, obviously losing control of the false front she'd been trying to display for Sid Matt. "But I was married to her son and had her grandkids!"
Sid Matt gave her a stern look. "Unfortunately, Hadley and Remy were not able to attend today due to Remy's having to work; however, I've told them that they have been named in the Will. And I will contact Hadley with the specifics after this meeting." He turned to look at Sookie and Eric. "And they told me to tell you that they'll be at the funeral, Sookie—if you wish to speak to them about the trust. And Hadley asked me to give you her phone number too since she didn't get to see you the other night."
Sookie nodded.
"There are just a few more gifts that Adele indicated in her codicil." He read, "To Mrs. Elsa Larsson: I give my enduring thanks. I am so grateful that I found a new best friend—a sister—before I died. I also leave her my prized cookbooks under the condition that she not share my secrets with anyone else except for Sookie who may copy anything she wishes."
Eric and Sookie both chuckled a little, even as Sookie wiped away a tear.
"Who the fuck's this Elsa person?" Jason demanded.
"My grandmother," Eric said stiffly.
Michelle sighed dramatically as if she were being physically hurt by Adele's will, but Sid Matt went on. "To Eric Northman, I leave my father's compass and these words from Edmund Spenser's _The Faerie Queene_:
What though the sea with waves continual
Doe eat the earth? It is no more at all,
Ne is the earth the less, or loseth ought:
For whatsoever from one place doth fall
Is with the tide unto another brought:
For there is nothing lost, that may be found, if sought."
[from Book V canto ii verse 39]
Eric sniffled noticeably.
Sid Matt looked at the young man, whose eyes were now shining with unshed tears. "Adele included a personal message with the poem." He read, "Eric, you once quoted this stanza to me when we were talking about my love of _The Fairie Queene_. You said you'd had to memorize it for a class, but I don't want you to just have it in your head, Eric. I want you to find these words in your heart and live them with my dearest Sookie."
There was silence in the room for a few moments. Jason and Michelle both seemed confused by the words of the poem, while Sookie had turned to bury her face in Eric's chest. In turn, his face was in her hair. Sid Matt just let everyone be for a moment.
Michelle was the one who broke the quiet of the room. "Is that all?" she asked, no longer holding in her disdain for Eric and Sookie.
"There's a letter," Sid Matt reported even as he opened a sealed envelope, "but I'm not sure what's in it."
"Well—read it quick," Michelle said sharply and haughtily. "Jason and I need to call our attorney. This Will isn't fair to him! He's Adele's oldest grandson—for God's sake! So _he_ should get her estate—not some prodigal who abandoned her family!"
Sid Matt sighed. "I assure you—Adele's Will is iron clad, and only a spouse or a child can contest a Will in the state of Louisiana. Since neither one of you is that, you have no case."
Michelle practically growled. "I won't see _her_ gettin' a damned penny!" she seethed toward Sookie.
"Then you'll have to close your eyes," Sid Matt said firmly, "because—even if you did have the right to contest the Will—no judge in the state would find Adele's bequeaths to be inequitable."
"But Grandma was loaded!" Jason cried. "She and Grandpa lived in a mansion in New Orleans."
Sid Matt shook his head and decided to set Michelle and Jason straight so that things might be a little easier for Sookie. Maybe talking about the size of the estate wasn't proper, but it seemed right.
"Actually," the attorney stated, "most of the money from the sale of Adele and Earl's _modest_ New Orleans home was used to finish paying off the Mulberry Street house that you and your mother did _not_ pay for, Jason! The rest of the money was used to make some necessary repairs on the farmhouse when Adele moved into it. And once Adele's final medical bills are paid and the monetary gifts to you two and Hadley's family are given out, the majority of Adele's liquid property will have been gone through. Thus, Sookie will not end up with any more money than Jason."
"But she gets the farmhouse and all that property!" Michelle complained.
"And Jason gets a property that's worth almost as much and that's easier to keep up," Sid Matt sighed. "Now—let me read Mrs. Stackhouse's letter so that we can adjourn these proceedings."
Michelle sighed loudly, but gestured for him to continue, even as she went to light up a cigarette.
"Not in here," Eric said gruffly, his voice oozing authority. Eric didn't mind the smoke, but he knew that Sookie would be bothered by it.
Michelle glared at him, but shoved the cigarette back into the pack nonetheless.
Sid Matt cleared his throat, "The letter was updated when Adele added the codicil." He sat up a little straighter as he began reading.
_To all present, _
_If you are hearing this letter, then it means that I've passed on. I can't help but to foresee that there may be discord because of the way I've split things up, but—to be honest—I don't rightly care. I've lived long enough to know my own mind, and I feel that I've done things fairly. _
_Jason, as my grandson, I love you very much, but you have let your mother mold you into a man who puts his own needs above others. I've tried to spend time with you over the years, but you've never shown much interest in having a true relationship with me. Heck—Sookie lives in New York, and I have spent more time in the last years with her than with you. That said—you have so much potential, Jason, and I hope that one day you will find your own place in this world. I'm leaving you the home you grew up in, and I hope that—someday—you will meet a good match and have a family of your own. _
_Sookie, I want to thank you for being such a joy to me. The moment you came to live with me, my existence brightened. I just wish I had known what kind of environment you were growing up in so that I could have helped you earlier. Earl and I should have never allowed something so petty as money to come between us and our son and grandchildren. That is my greatest regret, but my greatest pride is in you. In this last year, I have seen you blossom into the woman I always knew you could be—strong and brave. I pray that you and your Eric will have a wonderful life together, but even if things don't work out with him, I know that you can be happy. Never forget how much you are treasured and how worthy you are of being loved."_
Sid Matt paused for a moment to give Sookie a chance to wipe her eyes. "Do you need a minute?" he asked her gently.
"It's okay," Sookie said her voice a mixture of grief and strength.
Sid Matt smiled and continued:
_Hadley, I was so happy I got the privilege to reconnect with you and meet your man and your baby boy. I'm leaving you what I can to help you and Remy out, and I'm setting up something to help Hunter with his future. I'm so proud of you for turning your life around and becoming such a fine mother._
_The last thing I have to say regards Michelle Stackhouse. You know I have no love-lost for you. You blackmailed me into leaving the house on Mulberry Street to Jason (which I would have done anyway, you heartless wench). You also extorted me out of $10,000 when I wanted to take Sookie and provide her with a loving home. You did everything in your power to separate Corbett from me and his father. And, worst of all, you abused Sookie! Therefore, you might wonder why I've left you $1,000 more when it could be better spent for my grandchildren and great-grandchild. I'm afraid to say that I'm a selfish woman, and I don't want you anywhere near my funeral or my burial, so I'm paying for your absence. If you darken either of those events with your noxious presence, then the $1,000 set aside for you will be forfeit to the estate."_
"She can't do that!" Michelle screeched.
"She can," Sid Matt said matter-of-factly. "This letter was notarized and was written by her own hand. I recognize the handwriting. Plus, the Will indicates that there is a stipulation. This is it."
Michelle stood up and stormed out of the room, yelling about contacting her lawyers.
Jason glared at Sookie. "You were always trouble to this family. Just look at how you've upset Momma! If you had an ounce of decency, you'd give up the farmhouse! It shoulda gone to Daddy and now me! But Daddy's dead 'cause of bein' driven into the ground by you! Why don't you just get the fuck outta town before you do more damage?" He shook his head. "You're officially dead to me! And I hope I never have to see you again," he finished as he marched out after his mother.
Sookie let out a sob at her brother's words and then buried herself into Eric's waiting arms. Sid Matt motioned for his secretary to pause the recording until Sookie was once more composed.
"Is there more to the letter?" Eric asked the lawyer after Sookie's tears had stopped.
Sid Matt nodded and read.
_To all my grandchildren, I pray that happiness finds you and sticks to you like glue. I love you all, and I'll be waiting to see you again—but I hope that won't be for a long while."_
Sid Matt sighed. "That's all."
Eric nodded and then rose with Sookie. "I'm going to take Sookie back to Gran's house now."
Sid Matt stood and handed Eric an envelope. "Here's the key to Adele's safety deposit box. In it, you'll find all the possessions mentioned in the Will, as well as the deeds to various properties," he said quietly. "The phone number on the envelope belongs to Janet Sinclair. She's the bank manager and is expecting y'all to call. She said she'd help y'all out whenever you need—regardless of the holiday."
Eric reached out to shake Sid Matt's hand, giving him a look of both gratefulness and respect as he did so.
Sid Matt caught Sookie's eye. "I'm sorry, Sookie. I didn't know what was happening to you when you were a kid; I didn't make the effort to find out." He sighed. "I should have. No one in this town knows what Michelle Stackhouse did—what she is," he said with regret.
Sookie sighed and gave him a little smile. "The important thing is that Michelle is no longer in my life." She reached out and took the attorney's hand. "I appreciate everything you did for Gran, Sid Matt." She smiled a little wider. "Gran mentioned to me that you'd been visiting her quite a bit lately. And I know that she enjoyed your company."
Sid Matt pulled on the collar of his suit shirt and checked to make sure that the recording had been stopped. Both Sookie and Eric chuckled when they noticed the elderly man blushing.
"Um—well," Sid Matt began. "Your grandmother and I . . . ."
Sookie patted his hand comfortingly. "You were a good friend and companion to Gran, and she sounded happier over the phone during the last few months than she ever had as long as I knew her."
"She—uh—loved your grandfather very much," Sid Matt said.
"Of course she did," Sookie responded sincerely. "But Gran had a lot of love to give all the way around. I know that better than anyone."
Sid Matt nodded. "Miss Adele was a lovely woman—one of the finest I ever met," he said, his voice cracking with emotion.
Sookie nodded. "We'll see you at the funeral Sid Matt," she said, as she patted his arm one last time before taking Eric's hand and leading them out of the office.
* * *
Sookie sighed tiredly as she sank into the back seat of the car and then curled into Eric's side—at least as much as her seatbelt would allow.
"Thanks for waiting, Bobby," she said to the man who had insisted upon driving them to Sid Matt's office. Sookie suspected that it was just so Eric would be able to keep ahold of her. And she appreciated Bobby's gesture more than she'd ever be able to express.
"Don't worry about it, Sookie," he said kindly. "Did everything go okay?"
Eric gave Bobby a look that indicated that he shouldn't ask, but Sookie answered, "My mother and my brother were unimaginable assholes. But my mother won't be coming to Gran's funeral—not if she wants the bribe money Gran left her, so that's something at least." Sookie smirked a little. "Gran really was a pistol, Bobby. She left Michelle $1,000, but only on the condition that she not attend the funeral or burial." She chuckled. "So Gran wins either way. If she doesn't show, then Gran doesn't have to deal with her—not even from heaven. And if she does show, Gran gets the satisfaction of knowing that she won't get that money."
Bobby chuckled. "Your gran was my kind of lady!"
Sookie smiled and looked up at Eric. "Can we go by the bank on the way to Gran's and see if it's open?"
He quirked an eyebrow in question. "You want to do that now?"
"I want to go ahead and get a sense of the money situation and clean out the safety deposit box today. I know that the bank will be closed tomorrow since it's New Year's Day, and I want to make some decisions before the funeral." She sighed. "I wanna get home—to Manhattan—just as soon as we can after the funeral."
"Sure," Eric said kissing her forehead. "And if it's not open, we'll call Miss Sinclair. Bobby, do you know where the bank in town is?"
Eric caught Bobby's eyes rolling in the rearview mirror. "Eric, Bon Temps has exactly two stop lights and two major streets. I think I can find it."
"I wouldn't want you to strain yourself," Eric deadpanned, eliciting a giggle and a kiss from Sookie.
Bobby grumbled something about successfully navigating one of the largest metropolises in the world on a daily basis, but gave Sookie a wink in the rearview as they traveled the two blocks that separated Sid Matt Lancaster's office from the bank.
* * *
**A/N: Thanks for all the comments about the last chapter. I really appreciate them! Most of you seemed to enjoy Sid Matt's perspective! (And to my guest critic who believes that I've gone too far with the exposition—sorry it's not to your taste. Writing fanfiction allows me to tell stories in a sprawling way, explore the perspectives of secondary characters, and dwell on certain things that touch me. While I want all to be satisfied, it won't happen. I'm sorry if I'm boring you. You are not the first to find me long-winded. On the other hand, others have pointed to the very thing you critiqued as their favorite thing about my writing. I hope that the story will pick up for you. And—please remember that I delete all negative comments from anonymous posters. Even though yours was not bad, I stick to that policy. Feel free to sign in and leave your critique next time. I cannot "bite" via the Internet—any more than you can via a review—but I do like the opportunity to answer my critics.) **
**As for the rest of you, thanks so much for the continued support of the story and me! Much love to you!**
**Will Michelle try to crash the funeral? And—if so—will the spitfire who's been developing in Sookie finally rear her head (especially if she's not in a public place—like a hospital or lawyer's office)? **
**Until next time,**
**Kat**
13. Chapter 13: Unexpected Guest
**Chapter 13: Unexpected Guest**
Given the taxing nature of the Will reading, Eric didn't plan anything too elaborate for New Year's Eve—though it was the first New Year's he and Sookie would be spending together.
He had found some nice steaks at the supermarket the day before, and one thing that he had learned how to cook well was a steak. And given the relatively mild temperatures in Louisiana, even during winter, he didn't mind grilling outside either. Of course, Sookie had insisted that Bobby come for dinner. He'd been staying in the town's only motel since Sookie didn't feel right about anyone staying in Gran's room, and up until that afternoon, the guestroom had been cluttered with things that Sookie needed to go through.
Bobby flicked the ashes of his cigarette away from where the grill had been set up.
"You got a New Year's resolution?" Eric asked his friend as he flipped the steaks.
"Other than to stop smoking these?" Bobby asked with a chuckle.
Eric laughed a little. "It _would_ be nice to have you around longer. And the thought of losing you to something like lung cancer does _not_ make me feel all happy inside."
Bobby shrugged. "You know me. I'll probably become a vampire long before that happens."
Eric chuckled a little harder. "You are well on your way."
"What about you?" Bobby asked. "Resolutions?"
Eric exhaled deeply. "Just Sookie—keeping her as happy as I can."
Bobby nodded, knowing that would keep his friend happy too.
"Is everything arranged for Thursday?" Eric asked.
"Yeah," Bobby responded. "The funeral director here is a bit of a creep, but he seems competent enough now that he's back to work after his bout with the flu. He's going to make sure Adele is at the church three hours before the funeral on Thursday, and I've already arranged with the preacher that you and Sookie can go in well before the rest of the congregation is allowed in."
Eric nodded. "And the other things?"
Bobby took a drag of his cigarette. "Adele had most everything arranged already. Casket, plot, service, songs, readings, contact list—everything."
"And the flowers? Have we been able to get Gran's favorites?"
Bobby sighed. "It was difficult, but I have some arrangements of white lilies coming in from Nashville. And—from New York—Pam's rustling up some more. Hell the whole church will probably be full of them by the time she's done."
Eric smiled a little. "I know Pam wants to be here for Gran."
"But she also understands that her leaving suddenly would make Appius even more suspicious. The flowers are her way of taking care of Gran—and you and Sookie—from New York."
"Yeah," Eric replied sadly. He sighed and continued angrily. "Fucking Appius! The fucking king of separations! Pam should be able to be here without him being an issue." He raked his hand through his hair. "Between Sweden and Thanksgiving, she spent a lot of time with Gran."
"She understands, Eric."
"She shouldn't have to."
Bobby nodded and the two were silent for a few minutes.
"Quite a few flower arrangements have been brought by townspeople too," Bobby reported as he lit another cigarette. "Mike Spenser's assistant told me that the viewing area was quite full today—of both well-wishers and flowers."
Eric nodded in acknowledgment. "And the guard? He was there during the entire viewing?"
"Yes. But neither Michelle nor Jason visited Adele's body at the funeral home today, and there's no viewing tomorrow because of the holiday."
Eric nodded again. "They'll probably try to steal the goddamned wedding band from her finger if they show up!" he vented as he poked the steak to check its doneness.
"Yeah. Those two are a fucking piece of work." Bobby smirked. "Appius and Michelle would have been a match made in hell had they'd ever met."
Eric cringed. "Let's hope they never do."
"Unless it's in hell where they meet," Bobby observed as he flicked his cigarette. They were silent for a few more minutes.
"What time should I make myself scarce tonight? I know you'll want alone time with Sook," Bobby said knowingly.
Eric chuckled. "Now?"
"Sookie would have your hide _and_ my hide if I left without dinner."
"She'll want you to stay at least until midnight. And she cleared out the guestroom earlier, so she's gonna ask you to stay the night too. Just get drunk enough to pass out so that I can convince her to have some fun with me later," Eric said with a smirk.
"Well—I _did_ buy a lot of liquor," Bobby said.
"Sounds good," Eric said with a laugh.
* * *
It was just after 7:00 p.m. The dinner dishes had been cleared away, and Bobby was explaining the rules of _Monopoly_ to Eric and Sookie when there was a knock on the door. Eric and Bobby immediately looked at each other nervously. The guards that Eric had hired were at entrance of the driveway, and they hadn't called to inform them of any visitors.
Bobby was on his cellphone to the guards almost before the second knock was heard. And Eric was on his feet, instinctively putting Sookie behind his body as they both looked at the door.
"Did anyone pass you?" Bobby asked in a low tone once the guard had answered his call.
He shook his head to indicate to Eric and Sookie that the knocker had not come past the guards.
"Get down here," Bobby said into the phone.
Tentatively, Bobby headed to the front door, just as there was another knock. Bobby looked out the peep hole and then asked in a loud voice. "Who's there?"
The visitor yelled out a name that caused Sookie to turn ghostly pale.
"Bill Compton."
* * *
Eric looked at Sookie, who was looking at the door in shock.
"Anything you want, min älskade," he said to her in a loud whisper. "We'll do anything you want."
Sookie looked up at Eric and realized that he truly did mean _anything_. If she asked him and Bobby to kick Bill's ass, they would do it. If she asked them to kill him, they would do it. Hell—if she asked them to try to rid Bill of his annoyingly old-fashioned Southern accent, they would likely provide the elocution lessons themselves.
She smiled and looked at Bobby, who also seemed ready to obey any order she gave. She couldn't help but to relax—despite the unwelcome visitor.
"You know I love you—both of you—right?"
Eric was a bit taken aback.
"In _radically_ different ways—of course," Sookie corrected with a chuckle as she looked up at Eric once more.
Bobby smiled a lopsided grin. "Thank God for that. I don't need the Viking after me."
"The Viking?" Sookie asked.
Eric rolled his eyes. "It's what he used to call me when we were younger."
"It fits," Bobby returned, shrugging his shoulders. "By the time he was twelve, he was taller than me."
"Susanna?" called Bill from outside the door, breaking the exchange between the three friends.
"What do you want?" Eric asked Sookie.
Sookie took a deep breath. "I'll talk to him. I want to know why he's here."
"Alone?" Eric asked with some trepidation.
"Hell no!" Sookie exclaimed. "I mean—if you'll stay with me. . . ."
Eric cut her off by taking her into his arms. "Hell yes!" he smiled.
* * *
_**Ten minutes earlier**_
As Bill Compton traipsed over the rough terrain between the house he'd rented and the newly-deceased Adele Stackhouse's residence, he regretted wearing his newly-shined shoes.
However, he'd wanted to look his best when he talked to Susanna and tried to convince her that none of what had happened between them in the past had been his fault. It had all been the fault of his boss and then Lorena.
Susanna would just have to understand that!
Truly, two years earlier, Bill had been ready to make Susanna's life better—_a lot_ better than it had been. Moreover, if his plan hadn't been sabotaged by Lorena, Susanna would have ended up as an indispensable asset to the U.S. government: a patriot.
And—most importantly—she would have already been _his_: his asset, his wife.
Susanna Stackhouse had started off as an assignment—pure and simple. She'd been an assignment in what Bill did best: the recruitment of potentially "difficult" assets. And the scope of that assignment had come with the potential of a huge promotion for the ambitious agent.
The government was always looking for people with "gifts" that went beyond the norm, and the FBI in particular had been actively seeking out people like Susanna post-9/11.
Discovering a useable lip reader with the accuracy and subtlety of Susanna Stackhouse was harder than it might seem. Oh—adults could be trained to read lips, and many even became quite proficient, just as an adult might learn any new language. However, it was often the nuances of language—the whispers or the asides or the mumbles—that held the greatest secrets.
Many deaf people were also skilled at reading lips, but they didn't function in the same way as the hearing did, and once their disability was found out, then the possibility of their being able to read lips was recognized. Strangely enough, "hearing" people weren't suspected of having the skill.
No. Someone like Susanna didn't come around often. And she could read anything—including foreign languages she didn't know—with almost 100% accuracy. And—even when she didn't understand a word—she could produce it phonetically. Bill knew that firsthand from the various "tests" he'd conducted when they were together.
The Bureau had found out about Susanna from her mother, Michelle Stackhouse. Apparently, Susanna's mother had read an article about a lip-reader bringing down a huge terrorist cell in the Middle East, and she'd seen the opportunity to serve her country and to make a little cash for her family at the same time.
Sadly, Susanna—like many teens—had rebelled against her mother's influence.
Susanna Stackhouse's preliminary evaluation had labeled her as "a promising prospect," though "potential recruitment difficulties" were also noted. That's why someone with Bill's skills was called in. Bill had initially traveled to Bon Temps to meet with Michelle and to further assess Susanna's skill-set. And, after meeting Michelle, Bill couldn't fault the woman's patriotism or her pragmatism.
Bill's assessment had led him to believe that Susanna was a rare talent indeed! But she would need to be handled with kid-gloves. In fact—after an especially fruitful conversation with Michelle—he'd determined that seduction should be his chief strategy in Susanna's recruitment. And his superiors had green-lit his proposal.
Bill had hypothesized that since Susanna had been deaf for so long, she'd developed anti-social tendencies, which wouldn't do at all for the kind of work the Bureau wanted her to do. By observing Susanna from afar, Bill had confirmed his theory before he even approached her. She was excellent at almost "disappearing" and staying out of sight, but to be a good spy required fitting in as well. And she didn't fit in—not at all!
However, after their first encounter—Bill's first test of her skill—he became convinced that he could train her, given time. And—by playing the knight in shining armor and risking himself to "save" her from her "attackers," who were actually men on the Bureau's payroll—Bill had quickly found his way into her life.
Soon after that, Bill had become her boyfriend. At first, being an attentive paramour had been only a job to him. God knows, he'd done worse things to recruit people. Yes—he'd felt a little guilty about taking her virginity and getting her to fall in love with him. But—as he saw it—he had also been doing her a favor. After all, she'd been well into her 20s and had no other men looking to date her. He recognized almost immediately that he was the best prospect that she would likely ever have, and he was resolved to go through with an engagement and a marriage because of her potential value to the Bureau.
But somewhere along the line, he'd started to truly care for Susanna, and the day she'd claimed that she never wanted to see him again was the day that Bill realized that he just might love her. A few weeks after that, he became certain that he did.
Of course, Susanna's finding out the truth from Lorena, his on-and-off-again lover and fellow FBI agent, wasn't helpful to Bill's cause at all! He'd tried to talk to Susanna after that horrible day when Lorena had "visited" her, but she wouldn't listen to him! And then—quite suddenly—she'd moved.
As an FBI agent, it had been easy enough for Bill to track down Susanna in Brooklyn. But—truth be told—Bill had been rewrapped into Lorena's web after Susanna left. He'd sought comfort after he'd realized that his caring for Susanna wasn't all an act, and Lorena had been there. She'd "seemed" loving; she'd "seemed" contrite. However—like it always was between him and Lorena—their passion quickly flared into destructiveness.
Bill's superior at the Bureau, Nan Flanagan, hadn't been happy with his losing a promising asset, but—like any operation that involved personal entanglements—there was always a risk of failure. And, thankfully, Nan had recognized that the fault was mostly Lorena's.
Yes—it had been Lorena who had ruined his long-term plans with Susanna. Bill sighed. Had Lorena just stayed away, he would be married to Susanna even now!
The plan had been simple—logical and beneficial to all. Bill needed to help Susanna reach the point that she was—for lack of a better word—"normal" enough to operate in social settings. After that, another agent would have approached Susanna, and Bill—as her husband—would have encouraged her to serve her country. Later, he would have "become" an agent too—"just so that he could be with her." Indeed, it had been a perfect plan, and Susanna would have been kept in the dark about how she'd been recruited. She would have remained docile and complacent—agreeable.
However, a month before his Bureau-approved plan called for him to officially propose to Susanna, Lorena had come to town. And—being the seductress that she was—she'd quickly manipulated Bill into seeking out her bed.
It was after a week or two with Lorena that Bill had made an error. Agents were rarely able to confide in others about their assignments, but since Lorena had the same clearance level as he did, Bill had been able to vent about his assignment to procure Susanna Stackhouse. And Lorena, always the temptress, had compelled him to tell her about the whole ten-year plan that Bill had developed for Susanna: seduce, marry, procure, stabilize. And then, after those ten years—if he so chose—Bill could initiate a divorce from Susanna as long as the asset was deemed "sound" enough by Bureau psychiatrists to deal with the mental strain of the break-up as well as to continue her work.
It wasn't even that Bill had been unhappy about the arrangement. His cover—working on his doctorate degree in computer engineering—actually offered him a stimulating diversion from his usual research work. And Susanna—at least in the small doses that his plan required for him to be with her—had been perfectly tolerable, a nice change from the norm.
Plus, after being with Lorena, it had been nice to have an innocent in his bed. Someone like Susanna better-suited Bill's more conservative notions about sex, and after a little guidance and instruction from him, she'd been able to offer him a good release a few times a week and a relationship from which he knew exactly what to expect. Yes. In so many ways, Susanna had been—would be—the ideal woman for him.
On the other hand, Lorena was much more adventurous sexually—even dominant at times. And she'd tried to bring that dominance into all aspects of their previous relationship. Bill had found Lorena's aggressive tendencies to be both irresistible and off-putting, and he hated his own ambivalence toward her.
In fact, Bill had hoped that his assignment with Susanna—as well as his personal relationship with the young woman—would help him to resist the pull Lorena had on him.
Sadly, it had not.
That was how he'd come to find himself exhausted and in bed with his former lover exactly one month before he was to take Susanna to an expensive French restaurant and propose to her. The Bureau had even agreed to foot the bill so that the restaurant would be clear of people too; Bill had known that that gesture would have made all the difference in the world to the introvert. The plan was then to elope and honeymoon in Vermont where the Bureau had a nice cabin that had been used to hide assets in the past. There would be privacy and quiet—just the things that Susanna craved. And there, Bill had planned to get the ball rolling by introducing her to the notion that there were a lot of things that she might do with her unique skill.
But Bill had found himself once more entangled with Lorena—almost obsessively so. And—if anything—confiding in her about his assignment with Susanna seemed to make things better between Lorena and himself. Bill was able to vent his dissatisfactions with the assignment's duration. And Lorena had been quite understanding, having just finished a long-term assignment of her own. They had commiserated together, and Lorena had seemed to have calmed down a little during the year they'd been apart.
Oh—she was still quite adventurous sexually, but Bill actually found himself craving Lorena's appetites to offset the somewhat monotonous physical repertoire he'd established with Susanna. He found that the two women balanced each other out in a way that he liked. Indeed, for those few blissful weeks when he'd been seeing both women, his life had been perfect. He liked being able to keep the parts of his own personality separate from one another too. With Lorena he could be straightforward and let loose a little. With Susanna, he could be more serious and conservative.
And—given the fact that Lorena had six months of vacation, a reward after the project she'd just completed—Bill had looked forward to keeping things as they were for a while.
However, Lorena began to show signs of displeasure when Bill had to attend to his weekly visits with Susanna. She even convinced him to cancel a few—to tell Susanna that he had projects due in his courses and needed time to finish them.
But Bill couldn't cancel every meeting he had with Susanna; after all, being with her was his job. And he quickly realized that he missed the young woman's unquestioning devotion to him when he didn't see her. Susanna was steady and completely predictable, and—because of that—she was a balm to the erratic moodiness of Lorena.
Bill's fatal error had come when he'd confessed to Lorena that part of him cared for Susanna Stackhouse. Lorena had casually asked Bill what he would do if Susanna accidentally got pregnant. Bill had been doubling up on the birth control methods—using both condoms and asking Susanna to get on the pill before they had sex—but he found himself not completely opposed to the idea of having Susanna as the mother of his child. Even if they eventually divorced, he could continue to play a part in a child's life. Plus, being a "family man" was an excellent cover for any agent.
When he told Lorena his thoughts on the matter, she'd flown off the handle, yelling that they were destined to be with each other and that she wouldn't allow Susanna to get in their way. The encounter had had a little bit too much "crazy" in it for Bill's tastes, so he'd left Lorena to stew for a while—and to hopefully pull herself back together.
Only—she didn't just stew. She'd gone to visit Susanna.
Bill looked up at the old home of Adele Stackhouse as he approached. He'd rented the house across the way from the Stackhouse farm a few other times before. The first was when he came to Bon Temps to check out Michelle Stackhouse's story.
He smiled a little at the memory of that first visit. He'd found Michelle to be extremely accommodating to him, and she'd given him a lot of background on the development of Susanna's ability. He'd admired the mother's desire to make sure that Susanna "mainstreamed" with normal kids. Lip-reading had allowed her to do just that, and Michelle had apparently worked long hours with Susanna during her childhood in order to hone the skill.
Then—when Susanna was older and her grieving and newly-widowed grandmother had moved back to town—Michelle had sacrificed time with her own daughter so that the elderly Adele Stackhouse would not be alone. Adele, who apparently had quite a bit of money from the sale of a home in New Orleans and her husband's estate, had taken Susanna to a specialist, and—much to Michelle's surprise—a cure was found for her daughter's deafness. Michelle had been overjoyed.
Michelle had explained that Susanna was severely withdrawn—as was to be expected, given the situation. She'd also told Bill that the only reason why she hadn't broached the idea of joining the FBI with her daughter was that she knew Susanna wouldn't agree to it—at least not without a "tender" kind of persuasion. The twenty thousand dollars Michelle had settled for in exchange for all the information she'd given Bill had been quite modest compared to what the Bureau would have been willing to pay her; however, the money guaranteed Michelle Stackhouse's silence. She signed an agreement not to speak of her dealings with Bill or the FBI to anyone—especially Susanna.
Bill had returned to Bon Temps and the isolated old residence across the cemetery from Adele Stackhouse's home two other times in order to get more information on Susanna. Plus, he'd struck up a dalliance with Michelle, who—though fifteen years older than he—was a pleasant lover. Of course, once he'd begun sleeping with Susanna, he'd halted things with Michelle—for propriety's sake.
Bill sighed. He was extremely happy that Susanna had never found out about that affair. Susanna had been rather reticent about sharing personal information with him, though he'd discovered that her relationship with her mother was, indeed, somewhat strained. Bill figured that was because of the way Michelle had pushed her daughter to perfect her lip-reading skill so that she could function better in society. He knew that children often resented their parents for driving them to excel in some area—whether it be in academics or athletics. Bill had similar resentment toward his own father, whose expectations for his son had seemed insurmountable at times. Susanna's attitude toward her mother had simply been brought on by an unusual trigger.
Bill tripped over a loose piece of gravel and slowed his pace. Once again, he felt his bitterness toward Lorena rise.
In usual Lorena fashion, she'd left him to "pursue other opportunities" not long after Susanna had left Mississippi—not long _after_ Bill had covered for her with the Bureau.
Bill had kept Lorena's name out of his official report explaining why the pursuit of Susanna as an asset should be terminated; he'd simply stated that Susanna was too anti-social to ever make a good agent. He'd also conveyed that Susanna had several "tells," which just wouldn't do for the kind of work they had in mind for her. It wasn't a total lie. After all, Susanna _did_ tend to alert people to her "otherness" by her general demeanor and by staring a little too long for comfort. And though he'd tried to guide her in the art of subtlety after she'd "told" him of her lip-reading, she hadn't yet progressed to the point that she seemed "normal" yet.
After Nan Flanagan had accepted his recommendation that Susanna was not a viable candidate for recruitment after all, Bill had been given his next assignment: researching a young man named Barry in Dallas—another lip-reader. Lorena had followed him to Dallas for a time, but after she left, Bill had begun to realize that he'd had some genuine affection for Susanna, affection that still hadn't gone away.
Unfortunately, the timing had never been right for Bill to try to make amends with Susanna. Though Barry had been a much easier target to acquire, he'd been less skilled than Susanna, so Bill had needed to oversee his training. And, given that and a few more visits from Lorena over the previous two years, Bill simply hadn't had the opportunity to get from Dallas to New York for an adequate amount of time to woo Susanna properly. However, Bill was not one to lament the past. He figured that time was his ally. By now, Susanna would have had time to process what Lorena had told her, and he was confident that she'd already forgiven him. He smiled a little as he thought of Susanna pining away for him as she tried to maneuver through Manhattan like a scared mouse.
He would offer to save her from that life.
Yes. If she hadn't done so already, Susanna would soon come to see that Bill had had no choice but to do what he'd been ordered to do by the Bureau. And once he explained that he really did care for her—that he had only been trying to do what was best for her—he was confident that she would accept him back into his life.
And Michelle Stackhouse had given him the perfect opportunity to reconnect with her! Despite what had happened with Lorena, Michelle had always been sympathetic to Bill's cause and had promised that she would do what she could to get her daughter to listen to reason about him—all the while pretending that she had no idea that Bill was with the FBI. Sadly, Michelle had been unsuccessful; however, when she'd called him earlier that day, Bill had definitely been given reason to hope.
After quickly securing his lodging, he'd cancelled his New Year's Eve date and had driven from Dallas to Bon Temps without any hesitation at all.
Susanna's grandmother's death was a tragedy, but it was a fortuitous one for Bill. And, according to Michelle, Susanna would be in Bon Temps until at least the weekend. Given the fact that it was only Monday night, that would give him several days to try to convince her to give him another chance. Michelle had warned Bill that Susanna had some boyfriend from New York with her. However, Michelle was concerned that this man, Eric Northman, was abusing her daughter, and she'd begged Bill to swoop in and save the day once again.
Bill intended to do just that!
After a little research, Bill couldn't help but to share Michelle's concern. He'd texted Michelle a picture of the man he feared would be the "Eric Northman" that Michelle had been referring to, and she'd confirmed his suspicions. Bill had known for a while that Susanna was working at Northman Publishing, and apparently, she'd fallen in with Eric Northman, the heir apparent to the publishing empire.
Bill's first feeling had been anger that Susanna had moved on to someone else.
However, once he'd thought through the matter rationally, Bill began to understand what must have happened. Northman was well-known for being a womanizer. And—in Bill's experience—it was not uncommon for powerful men to be abusive; after all, they figured that their power could shield them from any domestic crimes they committed. Susanna would have been easily manipulated by such a man. And—even if Northman wasn't physically abusing Susanna—he was way out of her league! And he would break her heart.
Bill was determined to stop that for happening.
Armed with evidence proving Northman's man-whore ways, Bill planned to swoop in and help Susanna to see that Northman was all wrong for her—that he was just using her. He figured that flashing his badge and giving Northman some empty threats would be enough to make the wealthy prick run back to New York. His kind were always quick to cut their losses at the first sign of trouble. And that would leave Bill to help Susanna pick up the pieces of both a failed relationship and her grandmother's death.
Indeed, Bill was confident that it would be easy enough to convince Susanna that he was the best option available for her. And—even better—he would be able to be completely honest with her now. He smiled. If he was lucky, he'd be in Susanna's bed before the end of the night. And, if he was very lucky, he might even convince her that using her skill for the government was her civic duty. Then they could go on to do what they had been meant to do. He would be her handler and her husband. And she would be his asset and his wife.
He could already taste the promotion.
He climbed the steps of the front porch and knocked confidently, ready to project authority if Eric Northman answered. However, no one answered right away, so he knocked a bit louder.
When a man asked who it was, Bill made sure that he answered in a strong, deep voice. "Bill Compton," he said assertively.
Bill could hear muffled voices and light footsteps from inside the house.
"Susanna?" he called out after a few moments, making sure that his voice oozed with the kind of concern he wanted to project to her.
He heard more muffled voices, though he couldn't make out what was being said.
A moment or two later, the door was opened by a dark-haired man who looked to be in his mid-thirties. It was _not_ Eric Northman.
* * *
**A/N: Hopefully you weren't confused by the fact that Bill thinks of Sookie as "Susanna." Remember that only Sookie's friends really know to use her nickname.**
**Sorry that it took me a while to post. I've been busy, busy with work, and I've been suffering from headaches. I promise that I'm doing what I can. **
**Thanks for all the continued support for me and all my work! **
**I'm sorry to leave you with this little cliffie as I go to **_**Uninvited**_** for a week. Sorry I got you only 3 chapters of this story this week. I'll catch you here after my week with **_**Uninvited**_**!**
14. Chapter 14: The Best Medicine
**Chapter 14: The Best Medicine **
_When a man asked who it was, Bill made sure that he answered in a strong, deep voice. "Bill Compton," he said assertively._
_ Bill could hear muffled voices and light footsteps from inside the house. _
_ "Susanna?" he called out after a few moments, making sure that his voice oozed with the kind of concern he wanted to project to her. _
_ He heard more muffled voices, though he couldn't make out what was being said._
_ A moment or two later, the door was opened by a dark-haired man who looked to be in his mid-thirties. It was not Eric Northman._
_**Bobby POV**_
Bobby appraised Bill Compton in ten seconds flat. The man in front of him was full of hubris and projected confidence, but Bobby speculated that Bill's posturing was hiding weakness of character. He really didn't know much about Bill Compton; he'd heard the name only once before from Eric. Bill Compton was Sookie's ex, and Eric had told Bobby that something had happened between them which had rattled Sookie for a while. And that information alone was enough to make Bobby dislike the man before him.
"Come in, Mr. Compton," Bobby said, keeping his own expression blank and his tone even. "Sookie has decided to speak to you."
* * *
_**Bill POV**_
Bill was thrown off his game—to say the least—by the hawk-like eyes of the man who had opened the door to Adele Stackhouse's home. He knew that it wasn't Susanna's brother; he'd seen Jason Stackhouse before. No—if Bill hadn't known better, he would have pegged the man before him as a Bureau man. He had the look of someone who'd been an agent for years.
"And you are?" Bill asked as he walked over the threshold.
"A friend of Sookie's," the man stated, his voice remaining even and indifferent.
"You mean Susanna?" Bill asked, somewhat confused.
"Hello, Bill," Susanna said from the door leading toward the dining room. "I never thought I'd see you again."
Bill immediately turned his gaze from Bobby to Susanna.
"Susanna!" he said excitedly as he took a step toward the woman who'd invaded his thoughts so many times during the two years they'd been apart. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. The first thing that he noticed was that there was a light in her eyes that hadn't been there before, and she was a little slimmer, though her curves were still apparent. He would have hardened at the anticipation of bedding her if a tower of a man wasn't standing slightly in front of her: Eric Northman.
Immediately, Bill allowed concern to take over his features. "How are you, darling? When I heard about your grandmother, I came immediately to make sure that you were okay," he emoted, making sure that his Southern accent was at its most prominent.
"How did you learn of Adele's passing?" Northman spoke up, his eyes boring into Bill even more than the other man's had.
Bill took another step forward and reached out his hand toward Eric Northman. "Hello," he said, "I'm William Compton. I'm a friend of Susanna's. And you are?"
Northman took a small step forward, though his left hand stayed locked with Susanna's.
"Eric Northman," he said, looking down at Bill's proffered hand but not taking it. "And I'm someone who knows that _no_ friend of Sookie's calls her Susanna."
* * *
_**Sookie POV**_
Hearing Bill's voice outside of Gran's door had startled Sookie and brought back a lot of unpleasant memories, especially of Lorena coming over to her house and telling her the truth about Bill and his job as a "talent scout" for the FBI.
Sookie had felt crushed at the time—betrayed and alone and empty. Hell! When Bill had rushed to her house after he'd learned of Lorena's visit, she'd almost taken him back—despite his deception. But she was a different woman now. And even if Eric hadn't been by her side, she knew that she would never fall for the likes of Bill again.
And that thought made her feel good about herself and the progress she'd made.
Still, Sookie had been afraid that she would feel vulnerable upon seeing Bill—that she'd feel sad or angry or hurt—but, in truth, she felt very little emotion. And it wasn't as if she was numb either. She knew the feeling of numbness well; it had been the emotion that had dominated her life—until she'd met Eric. No—she was not feeling that kind of empty blankness as she looked at Bill.
She wouldn't even use the term "ambivalent" to describe her feelings, for they were not mixed in any sense of the word. In fact, she felt indifferent towards Bill—curious about why he was there, but apathetic. After all the pain she'd gone through because of him in the past, she was pleased to find that she simply didn't care about him or their past anymore.
She'd moved on and was the better for that movement.
And that was when she knew for sure that she'd never really loved Bill Compton at all. Once upon a time, she'd truly believed that he was the best that the world would ever offer her, and that's why she'd been willing to settle for him. And the Bill Compton she'd been "presented with" hadn't been a horrible choice either. He'd offered her a sense of stability and some companionship, and she'd been so insecure—so isolated—that his paltry offerings had seemed sufficient. But they weren't.
The man staring at her with fake empathy—as if she were some kind of trophy to be won—hadn't even bothered to learn what she liked to be called. And he was supposed to be some kind of fucking spy! By contrast, Eric had discovered her name preference after just a few minutes. And that tiny detail told the whole story in Sookie's eyes. She tightened her grip on Eric's hand—not because she was nervous or afraid to speak with Bill, but because she loved Eric and wanted to hold him just that much tighter.
He looked down at her and winked a little. Somehow he seemed to be able to read everything that was going through her head. He could read the "real" _her_ because he too was so "real."
On the other hand, the Bill she'd met three years before had been only a lie. And the one before her now seemed to be just as much of a lie. But—frankly—she didn't care. It didn't seem worth her time to even think about someone like Bill Compton. She smiled a little. She couldn't wait to tell Claudine of her revelations!
"Susanna," Bill said, ignoring Eric's words about her preference of names. "I was hoping to be able to speak with you—in private. I'd like to convey my sympathies about your grandmother and to talk to you—about us," he finished softly.
For perhaps the first time, Sookie studied Bill's eyes—instead of his lips—when he spoke to her. Before the night of her second Northman Publishing party—when Eric's eyes had drawn her in so fully—Sookie had generally focused on people's lips as they spoke. It was a habit from when she'd had to do so in order to know what they were saying. When she knew Bill, looking into the eyes of a speaker would have been secondary to her—distracting even—for Sookie had been programmed by Michelle to get every word exactly right. Thus, she'd not had the luxury of honing the skill of matching words to eyes.
Until Eric.
After Sookie's confidence had built up a little, she and Claudine had begun to work on Sookie's eye contact with others. And she'd learned that there was so much to pick up from people's eyes. Though things had always been different with Eric in that Sookie often couldn't tear her gaze from his, she'd been slowly making progress in maintaining eye contact with others too.
She couldn't help but to wonder if what she now saw in Bill's eyes had always been there. His dark, dodgy orbs conveyed that he had a plan that he was following, a checklist ticking off in his head. They told her that he wanted to try to convince her to believe something—to believe a lie that he thought was the truth. They bespoke of false grief for Gran—false concern for her.
They were eyes that concealed as much as they revealed.
They were eyes that she didn't trust.
"There will be no private talks between you and Sookie, Mr. Compton," Eric said with a tone that brooked no argument.
Sookie kept her eyes on Bill, who seemed momentarily taken aback and intimidated by what Sookie knew was "Eric's no-nonsense work tone." She couldn't help but to chuckle a little, and she saw Eric's lip rise up into a smirk after she did.
Bill pretended to be unfazed. "Surely, Susanna can make up her _own_ mind about whom she wants to see," he said stiffly—defiantly.
"I already did," Sookie spoke up, "_before_ you were let in."
Bill looked at her in question. "Susanna?"
Sookie sighed. "I go by Sookie, Bill. I've never liked Susan or Sue or Susanna. I like Sookie."
"Sookeh?" Bill tried, his old-fashioned accent not quite handling the nickname.
Sookie sighed again, thinking that it might be better if he called her what he wanted if he was just going to butcher her name.
"Bill," she said, "I have to admit that I'm curious about why you are here and how you knew about Gran, so I'm willing to talk to you, but Eric is _not_ going anywhere."
Sookie was able to catch both the uncertainly in Bill's eye and the sneer of his lips.
"Can we get you a drink?" Bobby asked, walking around Bill and going toward the kitchen.
"Thanks, Bobby," Sookie said. "I forgot my manners. Would you like a drink, Bill? We have beer and iced tea and, of course, water."
* * *
_**Bill POV**_
"A beer would be great," Bill said, keeping his eyes on Susanna—or Sookie if that's what she wanted to be called now. Bill was excellent at adaptation. It was a part of his job, after all.
"Would you bring it to the living room?" Sookie asked the enigmatic man who had let him in. Bill was glad that he now had a name for him: Bobby.
Bobby patted Susanna's shoulder as Eric gestured toward the living room. Bill turned and walked that way.
"The house looks different," Bill commented, hoping to be able to throw Eric Northman off of his game by demonstrating his past knowledge of the dwelling—and, therefore, his history with Susanna. He also hoped to remind Susanna of the time they'd spent together in the house. They'd never made love there—for propriety's sake—but they had shared a visit with her grandmother. Given the fact that the woman was now dead, that kind of memory wouldn't be possible for Northman to make with Susanna.
"Yes," Susanna answered in a low tone. "I've been going through everything, figuring out what to save and what to give away."
Bill turned back toward Northman and Susanna, who had followed him into the room. "Of course," he said sympathetically. "I'd be happy to help you with that—now that I'm here."
"_Where_ exactly are you staying?" Northman asked. "I didn't hear a car pull up."
"I'm staying right across the cemetery," Bill said to Susanna, hoping that she would see just how much he wanted to be close to her—to help her.
"In that old mansion?" Susanna asked with interest. "Gran said that place was part of a time-share or something."
"I've rented it so that I can be here—for _you_," Bill emphasized.
Susanna smirked, an expression that Bill had never seen on her face before. In fact, she radiated a different kind of energy than he'd seen from her in the past. She was obviously more confident and sure of herself—perhaps because of the man who was taking a seat beside her on the couch.
Bill sighed. Part of him hated that he was going to have to crush Sookie's new-found spirit by telling her the truth about Eric Northman, but he knew that he would be there for her throughout the fallout. And he'd help her to regain that confidence; only this time, _he'd_ be its cause.
Bobby entered the living room and handed him an unopened bottle of beer. Bill noticed that it wasn't a twist-off.
"Bobby," Susanna said with a slight, chastising laugh.
Bobby raised his eyebrow innocently. "Yes?"
"Bobby," Susanna said again, this time more firmly.
"Fine," Bobby chuckled, grabbing the beer and quickly opening it before handing it back to Bill.
"Thank you," Bill said formally, trying not to glare at the rude man.
Ignoring Bill, Bobby looked from Susanna and Northman. "I'll be outside," he said in a gentle tone before kissing Susanna on the cheek. "_Right_ outside if you need me."
"Thanks, Bobby," Sookie responded. She shook her head a little as she watched the man leave. Northman leaned down and kissed her forehead lightly. Bill cringed slightly at the tenderness he saw between them, but then quickly restored his concerned countenance before Susanna and her current paramour turned to look at him.
"Why are you here, Bill? How did you learn about Gran's death?" Susanna re-asked her earlier questions after the front door had closed behind the mysterious Bobby.
Bill had managed to avoid those questions twice, and he'd hoped that they wouldn't be asked again. Looking at Susanna now, he determined that he wouldn't be able to avoid them. He also decided that _partial_ truth was best given the situation.
"I learned about your dear grandmother's death only today," Bill said. "Your mother phoned me. She is concerned about you. And so am I."
Northman spoke gruffly, "Michelle Stackhouse contacted you?"
Bill looked at Northman. "She knows how much I still care for Sookeh," he said with sincerity.
"How did she know where you were?" Susanna asked, her voice now a little shaky.
Bill celebrated inside. The emotion in Sookie's tone indicated that she was beginning to understand just how much he still loved her—just how much he'd do in order to retain a connection to her.
Bill decided to take advantage of that opening. "We've kept in touch out of mutual concern for you," he relayed.
She sighed. "And where does the FBI keep you these days?" Susanna asked.
Bill smiled as he saw that Eric flinched a little at the mention of the FBI. That likely meant that Susanna hadn't told her current beau about their previous relationship. He enjoyed having the upper hand over the New York businessman.
"Dallas," Bill responded.
"So you've found a new target to seduce?" Susanna asked, her tone suddenly cold.
It was Bill's turn to flinch. His Susanna would have never been so astringent with her words. Immediately, he hated Northman for his bad influence. But—then again—her tone may also have indicated jealousy; Bill took that as a good sign.
"Susanna—I mean, Sookeh—I swear that it's not like that. I told my superiors that I would _never_ again allow myself to be put into a situation like what happened to us. I know that what I did was wrong—_so_ wrong—but I was following orders. I didn't expect to fall in love with you. That's what I came to tell you, Sookeh. I love you. The two years we've spent apart has been torture for me. I want us to try again—to build a life together."
On his drive from Dallas, Bill had planned for many possible reactions from Susanna once he declared his love for her.
Laughter had not been one of them.
* * *
_**Eric POV**_
Eric was—just barely—controlling his desire to beat the man sitting across from Sookie and him into the ground. When Bill had said that Michelle Stackhouse had been the one to tell him about Gran, Eric had wanted to send Bobby across town so that he could throttle Sookie's DNA donor. And when Compton told Sookie that he loved her—with a cloying accent that made her name sound like "Sookeh"—Eric started thinking of places where he could bury the asshole's body.
Eric wasn't—not in any way, shape, or form—jealous of the man before him. From what he knew about Sookie and Bill, which admittedly wasn't much, their relationship had been based on deceit and manipulation. And Bill was obviously trying to manipulate Sookie's feelings again. That fact alone was enough to make Eric want to snap Bill's neck. What stopped him was Sookie's laughter.
"Oh God!" Sookie laughed out, leaning against Eric's side and squeezing his knee as if she could hardly contain herself. "Bill, you can't be serious!"
"I assure you, Sookeh, I am," came Bill's somewhat affronted reply. Eric couldn't blame him for being upset. It wasn't every day that a declaration of love was met with laughter. Of course, Eric was also somewhat envious of Bill on that account. Bill seemed to have no problem proclaiming his love for Sookie, even though his pronouncement was clearly suspect. For his own part, Eric was still afraid to tell Sookie that he loved her out loud—afraid that it would somehow bring the wrath of Appius Northman onto them.
Beside him, Sookie finally got her laughter under control. "You know what? Since you can't manage to say my name properly, why don't you just call me Susanna?" she said with a snicker.
Eric could feel himself literally radiating with pride for Sookie. Not only was she standing up for herself, but she also seemed like she was ready to let Bill have it. And Eric was content to sit back and enjoy the "Sookie Show."
Bill, however, seemed a bit clueless, and though his shoulders had slumped, he soldiered on. "Susanna, what we had—what we could have again—is too precious to waste."
"Precious?" Sookie asked incredulously even as she shook her head. "Bill, let me remind you of some facts that you have obviously decided don't matter. Our _whole_ relationship was based on a lie. _Everything_ you ever told me was a lie, and—worst of all—you never had any intention of telling me the truth! In fact, I would have never known anything if your unhinged lover, Lorena, hadn't sought me out. But you know what? I'm extremely thankful that she did. If she hadn't, I wouldn't have the life I have right now." She sat up a little straighter—a little prouder. "I wouldn't be the person I am now."
Eric smiled a little and bent over to brush a kiss onto Sookie's forehead. She looked at him, and as soon as their eyes met, Eric could see the pride that Sookie now had in herself. She'd never been more beautiful to him. Unable to help himself, he kissed her forehead again.
Bill interrupted the tender moment between them with his truly hideous accent. "Sookeh—Susanna, I know that I hurt you in the past, and I'm willing to spend the rest of our lives making that up to you if I have to. I just want the chance to prove myself to you, sweetheart. But," he glared at Eric, "even if you can't forgive me, you need to know that the man you are with now is _not_ who you think he is."
Sookie suddenly radiated anger as she squeezed Eric's hand. "And who is he, Bill?" she demanded, her tone now icy.
"When Michelle told me whom you were with, I looked into his background," Bill said, his voice oozing concern that Eric could tell was fake. Again, Eric wanted to throttle Bill, but he knew that it would be more satisfying to watch him dig his own grave.
"Why would you do that?" Sookie asked.
"Because I still love you. Because I want to protect you from the likes of him. Because you deserve to know the truth about him."
* * *
**A/N: Hello! I'm happy to be back to _Touch the Flame_ for the week! I'm not sure how many chapters I'll get you this week, but I'll try for at least a couple more. I'll be editing during grading breaks though b/c I've got another busy week.**
**Thanks to all who continue to follow this story. And a special thanks to all who take the time to comment. I love hearing what you have to say! Especially in high-stress weeks like this one, I get a lot of positive energy from you all! **
**Until next time,**
**Kat**
15. Chapter 15: Just
**Chapter 15: Just**
_Bill interrupted the tender moment between them with his truly hideous accent. "Sookeh—Susanna, I know that I hurt you in the past, and I'm willing to spend the rest of our lives making that up to you if I have to. I just want the chance to prove myself to you, sweetheart. But," he glared at Eric, "even if you can't forgive me, you need to know that the man you are with now is not who you think he is."_
_ Sookie suddenly radiated anger as she squeezed Eric's hand. "And who is he, Bill?" she demanded, her tone now icy._
_ "When Michelle told me whom you were with, I looked into his background," Bill said, his voice oozing concern that Eric could tell was fake. Again, Eric wanted to throttle Bill, but he knew that it would be more satisfying to watch him dig his own grave. _
_ "Why would you do that?" Sookie asked._
_ "Because I still love you. Because I want to protect you from the likes of him. Because you deserve to know the truth about him."_
"And what truth did you discover about me?" Eric asked with mirth in his voice.
Bill leveled a glare at him. "That you are a womanizer of the worst variety! That you _never_ stay with a woman long and that you will break Sookie's heart."
"Likely more than three hundred and fifty," Sookie said, looking straight at Bill.
"Huh?" Bill grunted.
"Probably closer to three hundred," Eric corrected, picking up on what she was referring to immediately.
"It's still gross," she said, looking up at him with a grin.
"Are you saying that I am lucky _it_ didn't fall off," Eric smiled back at her.
"I'm saying that we're _both_ lucky it didn't fall off."
"What are you talking about?" Bill asked with frustration.
"The number of people I had sex with," Eric responded, "_before_ Sookie." He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. "She believes it is gross that I had sex with so many, and—in retrospect—I must admit that I agree with her. Oh—and we are both incredibly thankful that my cock didn't fall off," he smirked.
"Very thankful," Sookie intoned under her breath.
"What about _after_ Susanna?" Bill asked Eric, his eyes narrowing.
"There is no after Sookie," Eric said to the woman next to him more than to Bill.
Sookie smiled at him before turning a frown toward Bill. "Why would you come here when I'm grieving for Gran and then tell me things that you thought would cause a rift between Eric and me?"
Obviously uncomfortable, Bill shifted a little in his seat.
"Oh," Sookie said, as realization flooded her features, "you believed that Eric had what? Traveled with me all the way to Bon Temps just so that he could seduce me into his bed? Trust me—if he'd wanted a casual tryst with me, it would have ended months ago." She shook her head disapprovingly. "Shame on you, Bill Compton. Shame on you for everything you're ever done in my regard. Shame on you for coming here and trying to use my grief in order to manipulate me into letting you back into my life."
"Susanna, I would never . . . ," Bill started.
"Yes. Yes—you would," Sookie interrupted. "You just did!" She sighed. "You know—the sad thing is that I think that you really do believe that you love me, but I'm not the person you knew, Bill. I'm not afraid to live anymore." She sighed again. "Looking back, I realize that you wanted me to stay afraid of everyone else but you; that way, I would be dependent upon you. And for that alone, I _should_ despise you, Bill. But I don't have the desire to feel anything for you. The truth is that you are a stranger to me, just as I'm a stranger to you now. And—you know what? I think things should stay that way."
"Susanna," Bill said in a strangled tone, "you can't mean this. You need to stop listening to Northman. I've seen his kind before; he will do anything to get what he wants."
"You're right about that," Eric seethed. "But that doesn't even compare to what I would do to _keep_ what I want, and I intend to keep Sookie, Mr. Compton. I intend to keep her safe from the likes of you."
Bill grunted angrily. "You think that you are so much better than I am? I could use my influence to chew you up and spit you out," he threatened, leaning forward aggressively.
From Bill's posturing, Eric recognized immediately that the other man wanted a fight; moreover, he wanted Eric to start that fight—probably so that Sookie's pity would be with him. However, Bill was wrong about that hypothesis. Eric knew that he could beat Bill to a bloody pulp and then have Sookie in his arms in the next second, but he also knew that Bill wasn't worth the effort.
"Your mother was right to be concerned about you, darling," Bill said, trying another tactic with Sookie.
It was _not_ an effective one.
Sookie shook her head. "You seem awfully chummy with my mother, Bill."
For a moment, Bill looked uncomfortable in his seat—though he quickly schooled his features. It wasn't quick enough, however. Eric had seen the guilt in his eyes.
"You've slept with Michelle Stackhouse," Eric stated with a mixture of certainty and incredulity.
The almost constipated look on Bill's face confirmed Eric's suspicion.
"When?" Sookie demanded. "Was it while we were together?"
"No," Bill said in an agonized and pleading tone. "It was before I'd even met you. I stopped things as soon as you and I began getting serious."
Sookie cringed a little. "Ew!" she said with a shiver before leveling an arctic stare at Bill. "You and I were _never_ serious. I was an assignment to you."
"Not in the end," Bill vowed. "I grew to love you—deeply."
"What _you_ felt in the end doesn't matter," Sookie said evenly.
"How did you know Michelle Stackhouse _before_ you met Sookie?" Eric asked tensely, even as pieces began clicking together in his mind.
"That's classified," Bill spat out, his jaw sticking out stubbornly.
Eric was on his feet and had Bill firmly in his grasp within seconds. The shorter man was on his toes as Eric pushed him roughly into the wall with his forearm under his throat.
Eric had moved so quickly and purposefully that Sookie gasped in his wake.
"Un-classify it! Now!" Eric ordered.
Hearing the commotion, Bobby was in the room in the next second. "Should I start digging the grave?" he intoned when he saw that Eric already had Bill well in hand.
"You'll go down for this," Bill choked out. "Assaulting a federal officer will land you in prison for years."
"Bill, _you_ are the one assaulting Eric," Sookie said, rising to her feet. "Bobby and I can both see that. You came over here without an invitation. And _you_ are the trained FBI agent in this scenario. You came after me when I turned down your proposal that we reunite, and when Eric tried to stop you, you attacked him."
"No you don't, Bill," Eric said as the man he was holding tried to reach into his jacket pocket. "And—just so you know—it's not there anymore," he mocked, even as he showed Bill that he had already taken his revolver from his pocket. Bobby approached and took the weapon from Eric.
"Standard issue," Bobby assessed.
"Tell me about Michelle Stackhouse," Eric ordered as he pushed his forearm into Bill's chest a little harder.
"She contacted the Bureau about Susanna's ability," Bill relayed, finally realizing that his life might depend upon him providing answers.
"Goddammit!" Sookie exclaimed. "_She's_ the reason you came for me?"
Immediately, Eric let Bill down and went over to embrace Sookie. Bobby still held the gun, though wasn't pointing it at Bill.
"You're under arrest," Bill said as he tried to regain his composure.
Eric rolled his eyes at the clueless man. "If I had been planning to hurt you, you would be feeling a lot more than a sore throat. I was just looking for the truth. Sookie deserves that, you son of a bitch, and I knew that you wouldn't offer it unless you felt threatened."
Bill looked confused.
Eric filled in the gaps for him. "Michelle Stackhouse is and always has been an abusive parent. In fact, she's a sadistic bitch! This morning—when she learned that Adele had barred her from the funeral and made Sookie executrix of her Will—Michelle was so angry that she decided to call in someone she thought would hurt Sookie. That someone is you!" He shook his head. "She figured that your showing up would remind Sookie of all the pain you'd caused her."
"What?" Bill asked, still obviously oblivious.
"Did Michelle get a finder's fee for telling the FBI about a valuable potential asset? Other than your _personal_ attentions—that is?" Eric scoffed. "I'll bet every single cent I have that she was paid for her information about Sookie, even as she tried to convince you that she just wanted what was best for her daughter. And you fell for her story hook, line, and sinker—I'd imagine. And then you slept with her!" Eric said with disgust.
"Not very ethical," Bobby observed with a chuckle. "Or sanitary—I'd imagine. Though the 'talent scouts' of the FBI aren't known for their ethics—or hygiene."
Sookie sat back on the couch with Eric right next to her. She looked up at Bill. "You came to me the first time armed with all kinds of information about me. You manipulated me in order to try to get ahold of a skill that I would have never developed had my mother taken me to any doctor worth his salt. But she didn't, so I lived a life of both physical and mental pain—a life in which I had no hope or happiness until Gran saved me. I even confided some things to you—told you that Michelle had mistreated me. But you _never_ believed me—did you?"
Bill looked taken aback. "I thought you were referring to how she pushed you to improve your lip-reading skills so that you could fit in."
"Bill," Sookie said, sitting up a little straighter, "my mother called you here for one of two reasons. Either she just wanted to hurt me, or she hoped that you would succeed in drawing me to you so that she could manipulate me through you. But neither one of those things is going to happen. Your presence hasn't hurt me because you aren't the person whom I thought I loved so long ago. That person never existed. And there's no way in hell that I'd ever let you into my life again!"
Eric looked at Bill with sharp eyes. "I take it that you came here tonight with the purpose of trying to get Sookie back by telling her all about your undying love for her and about my whorish ways. I take it that you also hoped to convince Sookie that your vision of her future—the Bureau's vision—was best. I'm sure that you expected to find a _Susanna_ Stackhouse here—a woman who was grieving and broken and aching for anything you chose to give." His voice was angry. "And I suspect that you hoped to convince her that she could do no better than you."
Bill looked down at his feet, clearly discomfited by Eric's spot-on assessment.
"If _that_ was your only business here, then you should go," Sookie said in a quiet, though firm voice. "And if you ever really cared anything about me, you will never listen to another word my mother says and you won't try to contact me again—whether it be for professional or personal matters."
The room was silent for a moment. Bill, who was still standing by the wall that Eric had held him against, looked defeated.
"I just want to love you, Susanna," he said in an agonized tone.
Sookie shook her head. "You might not be a bad person, Bill. Heck—I imagine in your line of work, you have to justify things to yourself so that you can live with yourself. But even if you did love me, there is no 'just' about what you want. You _just_ want a woman who is meek and grateful for the _just_ meager things you give. You _just_ want a woman willing to look the other way while you sleep with someone else. And you _just_ want a trophy to present to your superiors. I may have been 'stunted' or 'unfinished'—as you once labeled me in your reports—but I'm not _just_ the girl who left Mississippi two years ago." She took a deep breath. "The Susanna Stackhouse you wanted to find here just doesn't exist anymore. And I—for one—am glad about that!"
"Amen," Bobby said under his breath, even as Eric squeezed her hand.
"You'll just have to look elsewhere for what you want, Bill," Sookie finished.
Eric smiled. He was proud of the woman next to him—so damned proud it ached! He was proud that she'd chosen him. He couldn't imagine loving her more, but then she added words that sent his heart soaring into the stratosphere. "I could never be yours, Bill. I could never be yours because I was born to be Eric's."
Eric turned to look into Sookie's eyes, which were already looking back at him.
"And I'm yours," he vowed.
Bill sighed loudly. "So I'm too late," he said with a mixture of sadness and—_finally_—realization.
Sookie shook her head; she couldn't help but to be angry at Bill's words. She turned a scathing glare toward him. "Yes. You are too late to find the shell of a human being you knew before. Yes. You are too late to find the unhappy woman who was afraid of the world. Yes. You are too late to find the girl who would settle for so little because she thought that she was worth nothing more. You are too late for any of that."
Bill nodded sadly and walked slowly toward the coffee table; he put his business card on it.
Sookie and Eric both looked at the object as if it were a snake.
Bill looked at the couple guiltily. "I didn't know about your mother, Susanna." He sighed. "And you were right about why I came here tonight. But I hope that you believe that I _thought_ it was for the best."
Sookie nodded. "I believe you." She did believe that he thought he would be the best option for her. But he was 100% wrong.
Bill inhaled loudly. "There may be a day when things change between the two of you."
"It wouldn't matter," Sookie said.
Bill let out his breath. "Be that as it may, if you ever need anything of me—if there is _anything_ that I can do to make up for what I did in the past—I hope you will contact me."
Sookie looked down at the card.
"No strings? No expectations?" she asked him.
"None," Bill said.
Sookie sighed. "Then I won't burn it. That's the best I can offer. Bobby?" she said, looking from Bill to her friend.
"I'm on it," Bobby said as he reached for the card and put it in his pocket.
Bill sighed resignedly and then looked at Eric. "Do you know what you have?" he asked a little enviously.
"I know," Eric said immediately. "I knew the moment I laid eyes on her."
Bill sighed. "Then you're the better man." He looked at Bobby, who still held Bill's gun.
Bobby gestured toward the door.
"Goodbye, Bill," Sookie said in a neutral tone.
"Goodbye, Susanna," Bill responded before following Bobby out.
* * *
_**Bobby POV**_
"Walking me all the way to the home where I'm staying isn't necessary," Bill growled.
"When it comes to protecting those two, there isn't a limit to _necessity_," Bobby stated evenly.
"What are you? Northman's watchdog?" Bill asked crossly—obviously bitter that his plans hadn't worked out.
Bobby laughed. "When I need to be."
"Are you good at it?" Bill asked.
Bobby only nodded in affirmation, but Bill caught the movement despite the dark.
"Is he," Bill paused, "good for _her_?"
"They're good for each other," Bobby said without hesitation.
"I thought I was good for her," Bill mumbled. "I thought I would be good for her again."
"Sookie and Eric are," Bobby paused, "different—special. And they deserve their happiness after a lifetime without it."
Bill sighed as they came up to the house.
"Don't crash the funeral," Bobby warned.
Bill rolled his eyes. "I could charge Northman _and_ you for assaulting a federal agent."
"And I'm sure your superiors would love to hear how you slept with the mother of a potential asset. Or maybe the press would enjoy hearing how the FBI recruits unsuspecting young women with seduction."
Bill glared at Bobby. "You have no proof."
"No. You don't have proof—not of assault," Bobby said. "Plus, he grinned and held up his phone, "these things record—you know. And they also email those recordings to my emergency account which gets released to the public if I am prematurely eliminated." He handed Bill his gun.
"Who the fuck are you?" Bill asked, not for the first time that night.
"I'm their friend," Bobby said as he received a text. He grinned. It was from Eric—telling him to take his time coming back.
Bill scoffed and dragged his feet up toward the front door.
Bobby followed the retreating man with his eyes. Bill was a chicken-shit coward with a martyr complex, but that didn't mean his couldn't cause harm. Bobby lit a cigarette and dialed his phone as he headed toward the old cemetery between Adele's home and the one Compton was renting.
"Agent Fletcher," a gruff voice answered.
"This is Bobby Burnham."
"Yeah—I remember," Travis Fletcher said, his voice more relaxed. "Dan Groves put you in touch with me. You called a few days ago—asking for some advice on good private security firms in the area. You get all set up?"
"Yes. Thanks," Bobby said. "But I may need your help again."
"Well—Dan vouched for you, and I owe him more than one, so anything you need," the FBI agent paused, "within reason. What _exactly_ do you need?"
"Maybe nothing. But, then again, there might be a potential problem with someone in your line of work."
"Really—a fed? Who?"
"Bill Compton, though I think his full name is William."
"Ah—Billy boy," Agent Fletcher said with a chuckle. "What'd that paper-pusher do this time? Trip over his own goddamned ego and tell you it was his dick?"
"So you know him," Bobby deadpanned.
"Sadly," Agent Fletcher returned. "He once worked out of the Shreveport office for about a month. What was it? Two or three years back? He rubbed everyone here the wrong way. Thought he was better than us field agents 'cause he was a recruiter."
"Yeah—well his project back then was to recruit a friend of mine—a friend whom he tried to recruit via seduction from what I've gathered."
"Fuckin' Bureau," Agent Fletcher cursed with disgust. "It's like my goddamned mother-in-law!"
"Huh?" Bobby asked, stumped by Agent Fletcher's comparison.
"Oh—I love the bitch," the agent continued as if he'd not heard Bobby's sound of confusion. "And don't get me wrong. I know people who have much worse in-laws than I have. But every once in a while, the woman does something that makes me wonder why I ever _voluntarily_ joined the family!"
Catching onto the comparison, Bobby chuckled. "Yeah. I imagine that lines get blurred in your line of work."
"Yeah. I pretty much live in the grey zone, but there are some things that shouldn't be done—though I'm not surprised that Billy boy's up to his tight ass in questionable shit. I'm sorry your friend was his target." He paused. "So—what do you need from me?"
"A safety net," Bobby said. "Tonight Bill tried to worm his way back into my friend's life through manipulation and lies. Her fiancé put him into his place by throwing him against a wall."
Agent Fletcher laughed out loud. "And Billy boy's just the kind of pussy who might try to use that incident to make trouble for your friends."
"Yeah. It's possible that Bill might do himself damage—try to make it look like my friend and I roughed him up. And there are other types of damage he could do too."
"Tell me what else we might be dealing with," Agent Fletcher requested.
Bobby lit another cigarette and did just that.
* * *
_**Fifteen Minutes Earlier** _
"Are you okay?" Eric asked as soon as Bill and Bobby were out the door?
"Yeah," Sookie responded, her voice conveying a little surprise. "I am—actually." She looked at Eric seriously. "I should have told you everything about Bill. I don't know why I didn't."
"I know why," Eric said quietly, taking Sookie's hand in order to show her that he wasn't upset in any way.
"Why?" she asked curiously.
"At first, it probably seemed like it was too soon to tell me, and then it probably seemed like it didn't matter."
Sookie nodded. "Yeah."
"He was what drove you to New York—right?" Eric asked.
"Yeah. But not for the reason you might think. What he did hurt me, and all the progress I'd made in college seemed like it was gone in an instant. But what scared me the most was that I almost took him back—even after learning that he'd been sent by the FBI to procure me for my lip-reading ability through any means he felt necessary."
"Through seduction," Eric ascertained.
Sookie nodded. "I was easy pickings then. I wouldn't be now, but I was then."
"Would you ever consider that? Using your ability to help the government or something like that?"
Sookie shook her head. "I wouldn't want others' fates lying in my hands—not like that."
"But you told me about de Castro and Madden."
"It's different with you," she whispered. "It always has been. I'd do anything to protect you, and I felt that way from the start."
"Thank you," Eric said running the backs of his fingers along her cheekbones. "And I'm honored."
They were quiet for a few moments.
"I would never want to be exploited like Bill and the FBI planned to use me," Sookie sighed. "And I'm definitely not cut out to be some kind of spy or something. After the thing with Bill, I read all I could about how lip readers have been useful to the government, but—in every one of those cases—they _chose_ that work. It's not something I would choose."
He pulled her into his embrace. "Are you okay—after tonight? After everything?"
"Surprisingly, Bill's being here didn't bother me. And learning that my mother was the reason the FBI knew about me shouldn't have surprised me—or hurt me."
"But it did?"
She sighed. "Yes. A little. I just wish that I could feel as indifferent toward her as I do toward Bill."
Eric kissed her forehead, and neither of them spoke for a while, content just to sway gently in each other's arms. Both of them understood just how difficult it was to feel indifference for an abusive parent.
"They asked me—you know," she finally said.
"Who asked? What?"
"I got a visit from someone named Nan Flanagan during my senior year at Ole Miss. She said that she was recruiting for the FBI; she said that she'd found out about my lip-reading ability from one of my classmates, but I'd never told any of them, so that didn't make any sense. But I figured that someone had figured it out."
"You turned her down," Eric stated.
Sookie nodded. "I told her the same thing I told you: that I didn't want to be responsible for anyone else's fate." Sookie laughed ruefully. "At the time, I wasn't even sure I could be responsible for my own fate. I think that's one of the things that bothered me so much after I found out about Bill. I turned them down, but they still tried to manipulate me. After that, I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to trust anyone who came into my life." She looked up at him. "But I was wrong about that."
"Your trust means everything to me, Sookie," Eric said.
"And your love means everything to me."
"I wish I weren't afraid to tell you out loud," he said in an agonized voice. "You deserve to hear it."
"Maybe. But I don't _need_ to hear it, Eric," she said, even as she pulled him to her and kissed him gently. "Besides, _feeling_ is so much more important than hearing," she added, speaking in a whisper against his lips. "Take it from me. I know both ways."
Eric took her chin in his hands and kissed her again—passionately. They were both breathless when he pulled away.
Immediately, he took out his phone and sent a text.
"What are you doing?" Sookie asked once she'd caught her breath.
"Telling Bobby to take his time coming back," he said, looking at her with lust in his eyes.
She giggled. "Tell him I want an hour."
He chuckled. "Just an hour?"
"Okay—tell him ninety minutes."
* * *
**A/N: Hello all. Thanks for the wonderful reviews for the last chapter! They were such a treat during my grading breaks (in fact, when I saw a new one, it was an ****excuse**** for a grading break, so double thanks). **
**I'll try my best to get you at least one more this week, but—be warned—in addition to grading, I've also started the next story in the **_**Gift Horse**_** series, though I'm not very far along. So that story will be taking some of my time from editing, especially this weekend. **
**Up next in this story? What other unexpected visitors show up? And who will volunteer to give Bobby his New Year's kiss? **
**Until then,**
**Kat **
16. Chapter 16: More Visitors
**Chapter 16: More Visitors **
Bobby groaned. "Fucking Boardwalk? Again? Geez, Northman. Remind me to never play _Monopoly_ with you again."
"Hey—I like this game," Eric pronounced as Bobby handed him the remainder of his money and determined that he didn't have enough properties to mortgage in order to pay the rest of his "rent."
Sookie giggled. She'd been put out of the game by Eric fifteen minutes before. She kissed Bobby's cheek and then walked over to Eric to give him a peck on the lips. "My business mogul strikes again."
Eric chuckled and pulled her onto his lap. "Yep."
Bobby shook his head and took a drink of his beer. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was about half an hour until midnight. His phone beeped with a text.
"There are two people wanting to visit you, Sookie," Bobby said after reading the text. "The guard stopped them up by the road."
Following the Bill situation, Bobby had assigned one of the guards to stay close to the house, while the other was sent back to keep watch at the end of Sookie's long driveway.
"Who is it?" Sookie asked, praying that it wasn't her brother and mother.
"The names given were Lafayette Reynolds and Tara Thornton," Bobby said reading his phone.
"Really? I didn't think they were coming until Thursday—for the funeral," Sookie said, sitting up excitedly on Eric's lap.
Bobby smiled. "I assume that your expression indicates that they're welcome."
Sookie nodded enthusiastically as Bobby stood up and called the guard.
Eric smiled at Sookie. She had told him quite a bit about Lafayette. Though Lafayette was a few years older than Sookie, they had become friends during her senior year of high school. And—because of encouragement from Claudine—Sookie had been keeping in more constant contact with her old friend. Eric had heard Sookie's end of several phone calls to Lafayette during their time living together. Sookie was often left giggling by whatever Lafayette said, and she was always happier after the calls.
Therefore, Eric was already predisposed to like Lafayette.
Tara, however, was different story altogether. Sookie had told Eric about her first "friend" one evening not long after they'd moved in together. To Eric, Tara had behaved selfishly when she and Sookie were children. By contrast, Sookie had stood up for the girl, even though it meant more ridicule for herself. But Tara had never really "owned" her friendship with Sookie—at least, not until Sookie's hearing problem had been surgically corrected so that Sookie could be a "normal" friend. But—worst of all—Tara had cut ties with Sookie when she tried to warn her about something disturbing she'd "heard" from the lips of the guy Tara had been dating.
However—despite their problematic history—Sookie had wanted to try to reestablish contact with Tara, and she'd exchanged a couple of phone calls with her since the summer. Those calls usually elicited nervousness from Sookie.
And—_that_—Eric didn't like.
Nonetheless, Eric knew that Sookie valued her earliest friends, and—to their credit—they'd both contacted her when they'd learned of Gran's death. And, though Tara now lived in New Orleans and Lafayette lived in Los Angeles, they'd both wanted to be there for Gran's funeral—and for Sookie.
A loud knock interrupted Eric's musing as Sookie jumped off of his lap and ran to the door. Bobby and Eric followed her at a distance so that she could greet her friends. Almost as soon as Sookie had opened the door, a stocky and flamboyantly dressed African American man had her wrapped up in his arms.
"Baby girl!" Lafayette cried out as he spun her around. "You is a sight for sore eyes!"
"So are you!" Sookie said with a big smile on her face. "Hey, Tara," she said to the attractive African American woman who trailed Lafayette into the house.
"Hey, Sook," Tara responded, somewhat timidly before stepping forward to give her a hug too. As soon as the hug started, Tara began sniffling. "I'm so sorry about Gran. And I'm _so_ sorry about the way I treated you the last time we were together. I'm sorry about a lot of things, Sook," she said sadly.
"It's okay," Sookie said, patting her friend's back a little awkwardly. "I'm just glad you're here now." She broke the hug and smiled at Tara.
"Oh my dear Lord in Heaven, Sook!" Lafayette exclaimed, breaking up the women's emotional reunion. "Tell me that the blond God in the dining room is a late Christmas present for yours truly!"
"Sorry, Lala," Sookie giggled, "that's Eric, the guy I told you about. _My_ guy," she smiled at Eric.
"This is the man you's shackin' up with?" he asked. "Missy, you's didn't tell me he was the reincarnation of Thor!"
Eric approached the group and held out his hand to Lafayette. The leather and lace clad man placed his hand daintily into Eric's.
"Nice to finally meet you, Lafayette," Eric said with a grin on his face. "But try to keep it under wraps that I'm Thor—okay? Secret identity and all."
Lafayette raked his eyes up and down Eric, who had put on only flannel sleep pants and a gray tank-top after he and Sookie had made love.
"You's can call me Lala."
"Thanks Lala. Call me Eric."
"You's one lucky son of a bitch to gets Sookie here, but if she ever leaves yo' pretty ass and you's needs a little comfortin', you come and finds me, sweetheart."
Eric chuckled and winked at Lafayette, who quickly turned his attention to Bobby. "Is this one yours too, hooker?" Lafayette asked even as he appraised Bobby.
"Nope," Sookie giggled.
"I guess he'll have to do for my New Year's kiss then," Lafayette leered.
Bobby smirked. "The person I kissed last year was wearing a bustier and bright red lipstick too," he deadpanned.
Lafayette laughed. "Oh we's gonna get along just fine!"
* * *
"Sookie's different," a much more serious Lafayette said as he flipped a pancake. Along with Tara, he had spent the night in the guest room after the New Year had been greeted with much liquor, laughter, and tears as stories about Gran had been remembered. Bobby was snoring away on the couch.
"I could tell from the moment she answered the door," Lafayette went on. "Hell—I could tell when we talked on the phone these last several months."
"Yes, she is different," Eric agreed as he took a cup down from the cabinet and poured himself some coffee. He'd left Sookie still asleep when he'd risen early. He'd been surprised to find that Lafayette was not only awake, but also functional. Bobby and Lafayette had found and polished off a bottle of Kentucky bourbon the night before—a big bottle.
Lafayette added two newly-cooked pancakes to a plate that already held quite a few before turning to look at Eric. The only evidence that he had a hangover was the sunglasses he wore.
"Did Sookie ever tell you how she and I met?" Lafayette asked Eric.
Eric shook his head. "No."
"As you know, Tara's my cousin, but we weren't particularly close as kids since I was five years older than her. But once Tara was in junior high and I got my own place, she'd come crash with me when things got particularly bad with her mother. Ya see, Tara's mom liked to drink—a lot—and when she did, she got meaner than a hornet."
Eric nodded. "Sookie told me that."
"My own mom is in the loony bin, though they call it an assisted living facility," Lafayette shared. "Ya see—she's bipolar, and she's never been particularly fond of taking her meds. Sookie saw my mom talkin' to herself outside of the grocery store one day. Most people didn't pay her no mind since she was always mumblin' away when she was off of her meds. But Sookie figured out that she was plannin' to burn down her house that night. Instead of ignorin' my mom's bat-shit craziness—like everyone else did—Sookie told Tara, who called me. When I got to my mom's house, I found mason jars full of gasoline and kerosene everywhere." He shook his head. "She'd apparently been plannin' it for a while. 'Cause of Sook, my mom's still alive, and even though she's in a mental institute, she's probably happier there than she's ever been before—since they keep her on the meds fulltime." Lafayette sighed. "She even has a job through the internet now, and she's got friends where she lives."
Eric smiled and spoke with obvious pride. "So Sookie saved your mom's life."
Lafayette nodded. "Yeah. That's how I met her. It always broke my heart to see how closed off Sook was from the world. She hardly smiled and never laughed. Hell—she didn't really even talk much—not even after she could hear. She would just listen as Tara and me squabbled or went on 'bout somethin' dumb." He smiled. "But now she's," he paused, "like a flower—a goddamned bloomin' flower. I 'spected to come here and find her in pieces because of Gran, but she's not in pieces. And that's 'cause of you."
Eric shook his head. "No. It's mostly because of _her_—her strength. When we got together, I was the one in pieces; she was already starting to put herself together."
"Tell me there's coffee," Bobby interrupted, as he dragged himself into the kitchen. He was only in boxers and scratched himself all the way to the coffee maker.
"Need help with that?" Lafayette leered as Eric poured Bobby a cup of coffee—mostly because he didn't want Bobby touching the pot.
Bobby looked down at himself and realized that he was still scratching his balls—through the thin cloth of his boxers. "Oh," he said, shaking his head a bit. "Sorry. I think I'm still asleep or drunk or both."
Eric chuckled. "Just put on some clothes before Sookie gets up—okay?"
"From where I'm standin', he's still wearin' one thing too many," Lafayette said. "And I never did get my New Year's kiss."
"Not from lack of trying," Bobby intoned.
"I had to try," Lafayette winked. "Lots of _supposedly_ straight boys change their tune once they've had an adequate amount of liquor." He sighed. "It's a shame you weren't one of 'em."
Bobby chuckled and then went to put on some more clothes.
Lafayette's eyes trailed him. "A damn shame!"
Eric just laughed and then took a sip of coffee. He liked Lafayette very much, but he still wasn't certain about Tara. As Lafayette and Bobby had been polishing off the bourbon, Sookie and Tara had talked. Eric had given the women some privacy for their conversation, but he couldn't keep himself from glancing over at Sookie every once in a while. And he couldn't help but to notice that she was nervous around Tara—just as she was nervous around people that she didn't really know or trust.
Bobby walked back into the room—pants and shirt on, but not buttoned. He was holding his phone in his hand.
"Jason and Michelle Stackhouse have been detained by the guard at the end of the road. They won't leave. Do you want me to call Sheriff Bellefleur?"
"No," Sookie's voice came from behind Bobby. "I want to talk to them."
Everyone in the room looked at Sookie in surprise.
"Sookie?" Eric asked.
"I _need_ to talk to them," she amended her previous statement. "I need to do it for _me_. Then—if they don't go away—we can call Andy."
Eric set his coffee down on the counter and went over to her.
"You're sure?"
"Yes. But that doesn't mean that I need to do it alone," she said, looking up at him.
Eric looked immediately relieved. "No—you don't." He glanced at Bobby. "Tell the guard to let them come up."
Bobby sent a text and then finished buttoning his shirt. "Mind if I stick around too?" he asked.
"And I ain't goin' nowhere either, baby doll," Lafayette piped in.
"Thanks," Sookie said looking around at the men in the room with tears in her eyes. "Where's Tara?"
"Still sleepin'," Lafayette reported. "If I knows her, she won't be up till at least noon."
Sookie let out a deep breath as a car was heard pulling up.
"If it becomes too much and you want them gone, all you have to do is tell me," Eric said.
Sookie gave him a little smile and then looked at Bobby. "Bring them into the living room when they get here?" she asked.
"No problem," Bobby responded.
"And let's _not_ offer them drinks," Sookie said with a hint of a smirk.
* * *
**A/N: Sorry that I didn't get you this update sooner, but I got "trapped" writing other things. I hope that you will check them out if you haven't already. I wrote a one-shot called "Enduring" after the final SVM book came out. At the time, I also began drafting a companion piece, but it fizzled out. Anyway, I got "re-excited" about the story and spent the last week working on the companion piece and a resolution. I turned it all into a three-story series. I hope that you will check it out if you haven't already. It goes in this order: 1.) "Enduring" 2.) "Uncovering" 3.) "Resolving." **
**Okay—now that I've made that shameless plug, I have to tell you all how much I appreciate your continued support of **_**Touch the Flame**_**. I really wanted to get you this chapter before I moved back to **_**Uninvited**_** for its week, so my weeks are now off a bit. I'll resume working on this one next Saturday.**
_**Next up:**_** What I've been waiting to do for a long time: put Sookie into a more-less private setting with Michelle. Things need to be said. **
**Until then,**
**Kat**
End file.
| fanfiction |
we consider the @xmath0-@xmath1 hubbard model on the square lattice : @xmath12 with the electron spectrum @xmath13 hereafter we assume @xmath14 @xmath15 ( which is the case for hole - doped systems ) , @xmath16 .
for @xmath17 the fermi surface is nested , which results in peculiarities of physical properties @xcite . however , nesting is removed for @xmath18 for arbitrary @xmath19 the spectrum ( [ ek ] ) contains vh singularities connected with the points @xmath20 @xmath21 the chemical potential @xmath22 is determined by the electron concentration @xmath23 and can be obtained from the condition @xmath24 with @xmath25 being the fermi function , so that @xmath26 corresponds to van hove filling .
being expanded near the vh singularity points , the spectrum ( [ ek ] ) takes the form @xmath27 where @xmath28 @xmath29 is the half of the angle between asymptotes at vh singularity ,
@xmath30 we have a set of quantum phase transitions ( qpt s ) for the model ( [ h ] ) , see ref .
@xcite . we restrict ourselves to the case of small enough @xmath31 , so that we may neglect the correlation effects connected with hubbard s subband formation ( e.g. , the mott - hubbard metal - insulator transition ) .
provided that the electron concentration is not too close to its van hove value , i.e. the chemical potential satisfies @xmath32 , @xmath33 being the critical value , we have the normal ( paramagnetic and non - superconducting ) phase . when approaching the vh singularity , a qpt to antiferromagnetic , superconducting or ferromagnetic state occurs .
the type of the ground state depends on @xmath34 and @xmath3 .
in particular , for @xmath35 we have the antiferromagnetic ground state at @xmath36 and ferromagnetic one for larger @xmath37 @xcite .
the critical electron concentrations for stability of these phases differ by several percents from van hove filling .
consider first zero - temperature perturbative results . to second order
the expression for the electron self - energy has the form @xmath38 this contribution can be represented as a sum of three diagrams ( fig.2 a - c ) : @xmath39 when picking out the singularities we can put @xmath40 or @xmath41 for @xmath42 being close to @xmath43 van hove points .
note that the term @xmath44 was investigated earlier @xcite .
we restrict our consideration to the vh points at the fermi surface , @xmath45 or @xmath46 the calculations at @xmath10 yield : @xmath47 where @xmath48 is the dimensionless coupling constant , @xmath49 is the ultraviolet momentum cutoff , @xmath50 @xmath51 [ a23 ] @xmath52 with @xmath53 . for small energies @xmath54
the real part remains linear in energy with the difference that logarithmical divergences are cut at latexmath:[$% imaginary parts at @xmath10 read @xmath56 where @xmath57 and @xmath58 and @xmath59 are @xmath23-th summands in the definition of @xmath60 and @xmath61 eq . ( [ a23 ] ) , respectively , @xmath62 is the step function . at @xmath63
we have @xmath64 because of the absence of the particle - hole symmetry for the less singular terms @xmath65 .
this fact results in an asymmetry of the electron density of states near the fermi level and can be important for some physical properties , e.g. , thermoelectric power .
unlike the real part of the self - energy , the imaginary part changes its dependence to quadratic one at @xmath54 demonstrating a conventional fermi - liquid behavior in this region .
both real and imaginary parts of the self - energy contain large logarithms at @xmath66 .
therefore we can introduce the logarithmic variable @xmath67 then the leading terms of the expansion in the powers of interaction strength can be written down as @xmath68 to perform the summation of leading logarithms in the self - energy , we introduce the vertices @xmath69 @xmath70 ( fig .
2 ) , and consider the renormalization of @xmath71 . as discussed in refs .
@xcite , @xmath72 can be determined from the renormalization - group ( rg ) equations @xmath73 where @xmath74 , @xmath75 the quantities @xmath76 are the prelogarithmic factors in small - momentum particle - hole and particle - particle bubble , while @xmath77 \nonumber \\ c_{{\bf q } } & = & \tan ^{-1}(r/\sqrt{1-r^2})/r \label{zc}\end{aligned}\ ] ] are the prelogarithmic factors in particle - hole and particle - particle bubble with momenta close to @xmath78 @xmath79 .
equations ( [ twopatch ] ) should be solved with the initial condition @xmath80 .
because of the presence of double - logarithmic terms , the corresponding rg equations are only approximate .
however , the comparison of the results of their solution @xcite with the parquet approach @xcite and the rg approach which takes into account the contribution of the whole fermi - surface @xcite shows that they reproduce well the renormalization of the couplings .
the magnetic or superconducting instabilities manifest in the divergence of the vertices @xmath72 at some critical scale @xmath81 this is connected with the critical energy scales discussed in sect .
ii as @xmath82 for a detailed discussion see ref.@xcite .
( in the absence of interlayer coupling the quantity @xmath6 has the meaning of a temperature of crossover into the state with pronounced short - range order ( or pseudogap state ) rather than of a phase transition temperature . ) for @xmath83 close to @xmath84 the solution of the eqs .
( [ twopatch ] ) can be represented in the form @xmath85 the corresponding correlation length is given by @xmath86 where @xmath87 is the universal number . for @xmath88 we should stop the scaling at @xmath89\ ] ] while @xmath90 at @xmath91\ ] ] the condition @xmath92or @xmath93 guarantees that @xmath94 i.e. the system is not ordered and rg approach is applicable .
now we consider the renormalization of the self - energy .
we follow the method of refs.@xcite . defining the scale - dependent quasiparticle residue @xmath95 where @xmath96 ( @xmath97 ) is the contribution of @xmath98-th diagram
, we have the rg equations @xmath99 here @xmath100 and the summation over spin indices in vertices is performed .
then the real part of the self - energy can be found as @xmath101 ( see , e.g. , ref .
@xcite ) . after calculating re@xmath71
, the imaginary part of the self - energy can be obtained from the kramers - kronig relations .
first , we demonstrate our approach in a simple case with the only non - zero vertex , @xmath102 as discussed in ref .
@xcite , this case corresponds to @xmath103 the ground state at van hove filling being ferromagnetic ( flat - band ferromagnetism ) .
then we have @xmath104 the vertex ( [ g4 ] ) diverges in the critical point @xmath105 where we have put @xmath106 in @xmath84 according to ( [ zc ] ) . from ( [ zz ] )
we obtain @xmath107 and @xmath108\ ] ] for @xmath83 being close to @xmath84 we have @xmath109 as well as in the nesting case ( see , e.g. , ref .
@xcite ) , the quasiparticle weight @xmath110 vanishes exponentially in the qpt point . note that this vanishing is much faster than the inverse - logarithmic dependence @xmath111 obtained in ref .
@xcite where only one scattering channel was taken into account . besides nearly - linear dependences in @xmath112 ( with logarithmic corrections ) , both real and imaginary part of the self - energy contain large @xmath112-dependent factors of the order of @xmath113 which occur because of the divergence of the vertex ( [ g4 ] ) at @xmath114 @xmath84 . as discussed in ref .
@xcite , for @xmath37 being not very close to @xmath115 we have an interplay of all the scattering channels , so that we have to solve eqs .
( [ twopatch ] ) , ( [ zz ] ) numerically .
we also calculate the quasiparticle spectral weight in vh points of the fermi surface , @xmath116 ^ 2+[{\rm im}\sigma ( { \bf k}_{vh},\varepsilon ) ] ^2}\ ] ] the results of the calculations for @xmath117 @xmath118 @xmath119 ( nearly ferromagnetic ground state , @xmath120 ) are shown in fig .
3 . as well as in the second order of the perturbation theory , at @xmath121
while @xmath66 it changes to van hove behavior , @xmath122 the real part of self - energy has a maximum and then decreases with farther increasing of @xmath123 while imaginary part is almost a constant at @xmath124 the slope of rg results in the region @xmath66 is substantially higher that the results of the second - order perturbation theory , the imaginary part of the self - energy at @xmath125 also becomes large enough .
the peak in the quasiparticle weight obtained within rg approach is more broad than in the second - order perturbation theory , which is the consequence of larger electron damping in the letter case . with the increasing the chemical potential ( so that the system is moved away from qpt ) , the higher - order renormalizations become less important and
the behavior of the self - energy reproduces the result of the second - order perturbation theory .
the imaginary part of self - energy at finite temperature and @xmath126 ( the inverse quasiparticle lifetime at the fermi surface ) can be obtained from the scaling arguments , @xmath127_{\varepsilon \rightarrow t}\ ] ] thus it is given by the same figs .
3b with the replacement @xmath128 and also demonstrates the linear behavior in some temperature region . in the above consideration we neglected completely the damping of the particle - particle and particle - hole excitations as well as other non - singular contributions .
these non - singular terms can be neglected provided that the condition @xmath129 is satisfied , i.e. not too close to quantum phase transition into the corresponding ordered state and at not too high energies .
close to the quantum phase transition into the ordered state , the peaks in the self - energy should become asymmetric , as discussed in ref .
@xcite , and the pseudogap can be formed . on the other hand , in the limit of large enough @xmath130 i.e. at @xmath131
the spin - fermion theory @xcite is applicable .
in the present paper we have investigated within a scaling approach the energy dependence of the real and imaginary part of the electron self - energy in the presence of van hove singularities . we have restricted ourselves to the regions of the @xmath132 phase diagram , where the fermi level is not too close to vh points ( disordered ground state , @xmath133 with @xmath134 is the critical chemical potential ) or temperature is above the critical value ( @xmath93 with @xmath135 ) . provided the system is not too close to qpt ( at @xmath133 ) , the imaginary part of the self - energy at vh points demonstrates in a broad energy region @xmath66 a nearly - linear behavior , @xmath136 , which is close to that in the marginal fermi - liquid concept @xcite ( however , in mfl the linear behavior of @xmath137 takes place for arbitrary @xmath138 ) .
the real part of the self - energy behaves as @xmath139 the linear energy dependence of the self - energy ( [ s2 ] ) and the behaviour of the slope with changing @xmath22 are in agreement with the rg results of ref .
@xcite which takes into account of the contribution of the whole fermi - surface .
these dependences are also similar to those obtained within the spin - fermion model for a nearly antiferromagnetic state @xcite , although in our case they have a different nature and are governed by van hove singularities themselves rather than by closeness to antiferromagnetic quantum phase transition .
the role of a characteristic spin - fluctuation frequency @xmath140 which separates the fermi - liquid and mfl regimes , belongs in our case to the chemical potential @xmath141 ( @xmath142 corresponds to vh filling ) .
another difference is that in the presence of vh singularities the linear dependence of self - energy takes place already in the weak - coupling regime . near qpt ,
the renormalizations become important because of the large ground - state correlation length which enters renormalized vertices .
therefore both real and imaginary parts of the self - energy increase considerably as @xmath143 such an anomalous behavior also implies a strong violation of the fermi - liquid and even mfl picture .
note that the anomalies under consideration may induce the electron topological transition with the truncation of the fermi surface ( see , e.g. ref .
the rg approach used is not able to describe the magnetically ordered or superconducting state . by this reason
, the renormalized - classical regime @xmath144 @xmath145 should be considered within other approaches , see , e.g. , ref .
@xcite . in 2d situation
, the physical properities near qpt should demonstrate singularities which are stronger than those in the 3d case .
the correction to the electron density of states @xmath146 reads @xmath147\ ] ] main contribution to the integral comes from the vicinity of vh points where the bare density of states is logarithmically divergent .
taking into account that @xmath148 , we obtain for the first ( coherent ) term in the square brackets which originates from renormalization of quasiparticle spectrum @xmath149 the calculation of the second ( incoherent , non - quasiparticle ) term requires the full form of @xmath150 eq.([sigma ] ) , and leads to the result @xmath151 although this divergence is slightly weaker than of the coherent term , it is not cut at @xmath152 thereby the bare vh singularity becomes considerably enhanced .
note that the divergence of the density of states together with its asymmetry in @xmath112 may lead to peculiarities of thermoelectric power owing to impurity scattering , cf .
ref.@xcite . to leading ( second ) order the contribution to electronic specific heat owing to vh singularities has the form @xmath153 the behavior @xmath154 the calculations are similar to those of ref.@xcite for the antiferromagnetic state , extra logarithmic factors coming from vh singularities .
the crossover from quadratic to nearly linear temperature dependence of resistivity is confirmed by experimental data for cuprates ( see , e.g. , the results of ref.@xcite for the lasrcuo system )
. thus the divergences in the many - electron system with vh singularities are stronger than those in the mfl theory .
near qpt , we can expect that all the physical properties are strongly renormalized , the renormalizations being dependent on the type of the ordered phase .
this problem will be considered elsewhere .
finally we consider the application of the results obtained to cuprate systems .
a nearly linear energy dependence of @xmath155 at vh points , which is similar to our results , was observed for the system bi2212 in arpes experiments @xcite . for the system la@xmath156sr@xmath157cuo@xmath158 with the doping @xmath159 ( which is slightly larger than the optimal one ) the fermi surface crosses vh points @xcite .
the density of states @xcite , specific heat coefficient and pauli susceptibility @xcite substantially grow near this doping .
the mass enhancement factor @xmath160 demonstrates a similar behavior .
the additional experimental investigations of the self - energy near @xmath161 point of la@xmath156sr@xmath157cuo@xmath158 would be interesting in this respect .
we are grateful to andrey chubukov for useful discussions of the physical picture and experimental situation for cuprates .
the research described was supported in part by grant no.00 - 15 - 96544 from the russian basic research foundation ( support of scientific schools ) .
anderson , phys.rev.lett .
* 64 , * 1839 ( 1990 ) ; * 65 * , 2306 ( 1990 ) ; * 66 * , 3326 ( 1991 ) ; * 71 * , 1220 ( 1993 ) ; _ the theory of superconductivity in high - t_@xmath162 _ cuprates , _ princeton university press , princeton , n.y . , 1997 . fig.1 . a qualitative @xmath163 phase diagram in the vicinity of quantum phase transitions . the chemical potential @xmath22 is referred to the van hove singularity
. bold line denotes the ordered ground state .
the energy dependences of real ( a ) and imaginary ( b ) parts of the self - energy at vh points , and the spectral weight ( c ) for @xmath166 @xmath167 @xmath168and @xmath169 the dashed line corresponds to the second - order perturbation result . | arxiv |
a complete inventory of all the coeval stars in a young stellar association , cluster , or group ( hereafter association " ) enables studies of the initial mass function ( imf ) , disk fraction , and stellar rotational properties , among other pursuits .
information from associations with a range of ages enables understanding of the overall formation and evolution of young stars , including the change with time of disk fraction and stellar rotation rate .
however , identifying all of the member stars of a given young association can be quite difficult .
( by `` member , '' we mean objects that are clearly young , close to the same age , and often still associated with their natal cloud . ) finding all such members requires that one employ multiple observational techniques .
these methods include but are not limited to x - ray surveys ( e.g. , alcal et al .
1996 , wolk et al .
2006 ) , h@xmath1 surveys ( e.g. , ogura et al .
2002 ) , variability surveys ( e.g. , carpenter et al .
2001 , rebull 2001 ) , ultraviolet ( uv ) surveys ( e.g. , rebull et al .
2000 ) , and infrared ( ir ) surveys ( e.g. , jrgensen et al . 2006 , rebull et al .
2007 ) . at each wavelength
, we can use the fact that stellar youth implies more flux at a given radiometric band ( x - rays , h@xmath1 , uv , ir ) , or more flux variability , than older stars of comparable mass , allowing separation of association members from field contaminants .
when we combine the information from surveys in multiple wavelengths , we must remember that the influence of extinction due to circumstellar matter and/or the molecular cloud is vastly different at different wavelengths ; extinction affects uv and optical wavelengths much more strongly than ir . for young associations , many , but not all , legitimate members are identifiable using just one or a few survey methods .
there are advantages and disadvantages to studying nearby young associations .
identification of young members in an association is made easier if the objects are located at smaller heliocentric distances and therefore brighter on the whole .
this is especially the case for low - mass members with very low luminosities ; a complete census of these stars and brown dwarfs can be made only for very nearby star - forming regions .
on the other hand , nearby star - forming molecular clouds cover large areas of sky and therefore require large investments of observing time . at just 137 pc
( with a depth of @xmath0 20 pc ; torres et al .
2007 , 2009 ) , the taurus star - forming region is one of the closest large cloud complexes with hundreds of low - mass stars , ongoing star formation , and objects ranging in age up to @xmath05 myr .
studies of taurus objects have significantly influenced our basic understanding of the star - formation process for decades ( e.g. , herbig & rao 1972 , kenyon et al .
. however , the taurus molecular cloud is close enough that it subtends more than 100 square degrees of sky ; surveying all or even most of it is difficult within typical telescope time allocations .
infrared surveys led to the discovery that some stars have infrared excesses , interpreted as circumstellar matter ( e.g. , aumann et al.1984 , beichman et al .
most if not all low - mass stars form with circumstellar accretion disks , resulting in ir excesses for as long as the dusty circumstellar material survives ( e.g. , hernandez et al.2007 ) . by using ir to survey a star - forming region ,
the stars with ir excesses are relatively easily distinguished from stars without such excesses .
the spitzer space telescope ( werner et al . 2004 ) provides an excellent platform for surveying star - forming regions in the mid - ir and far - ir , enabling stars with ir excesses to be identified ; the member stars which do not have ir excesses must be recovered using different techniques such as the ones listed above . because spitzer relatively efficiently maps large regions of sky , it is a particularly useful tool for surveying large star forming regions .
we have conducted a large multi - wavelength imaging and spectroscopic survey of the taurus molecular cloud ( tmc ) in order to test if our inventory of taurus members with infrared excesses is , in fact , complete .
the spitzer imaging component is referred to as the taurus spitzer survey , and is described by padgett et al .
( 2008 ; hereafter p08 ) and padgett et al .
( 2009 ; hereafter p09 ) .
it covers @xmath044 square degrees from 3.6 to 160 @xmath2 m and is a spitzer legacy project , so enhanced data products have been delivered back to the spitzer science center ( ssc ) , including the catalogs on which this present paper is based .
in addition to the spitzer component , there are four other major components to our taurus survey .
xmm - newton was used by the xmm - newton extended survey of the taurus molecular cloud ( xest ) program ( e.g. , gdel et al . 2007 and references therein ) , which mapped @xmath05 square degrees ,
most of which was also mapped by the spitzer observations ; the xest data include x - ray imaging but also include ultraviolet data from the xmm - newton optical monitor ( audard et al .
xest was deliberately pointed towards aggregates of previously identified taurus members . in the optical , the canada - france - hawaii telescope ( cfht ) survey
( monin et al . in preparation ; gdel , padgett , & dougados 2007 ) mapped @xmath028 square degrees ( all of which are encompassed by the spitzer area ) , and the sloan digital sky survey ( sdss ) ( finkbeiner et al .
2004 ; padmanabhan et al .
2008 ) mapped @xmath048 square degrees in two perpendicular strips , about half of which overlaps the spitzer area .
finally , the five college radio astronomy observatory ( fcrao ) millimeter wavelength survey ( goldsmith et al . 2008 ) mapped @xmath0100 square degrees in the co(1 - 0 ) line , covering the spitzer survey area entirely .
the relative coverages of these surveys is shown in p09 .
our extended collaboration has already begun to use this rich dataset to search for new members of taurus ; scelsi et al .
( 2007,2008 ) identified new candidate members using the xest data , and guieu et al.(2006 , 2007 ) identified new brown dwarf members using the cfht data to study their disk properties using the spitzer data .
ongoing investigations include searches for members via emission line spectra ( knapp et al .
, in prep ) , herbig - haro ( hh ) objects ( stapelfeldt et al.in prep ) , and transition disks ( mccabe et al . in prep ) . in this paper , we select new candidate taurus members with infrared excesses using spitzer and two - micron all - sky survey ( 2mass ; skrutskie et al .
2006 ) data .
we construct color - magnitude and color - color diagrams for point sources , then use the locations of previously - identified young stars in these diagrams to select new candidate members with infrared excesses . to discard obvious extragalactic sources ,
we examine the source morphology in all available bands of the multiwavelength taurus survey .
we construct spectral energy distributions ( seds ) from the photometry over all available bands , again discarding objects we believe to be galaxies .
follow - up spectroscopy has been obtained to assess whether or not our new candidate taurus objects are likely taurus members
. we also present spitzer flux densities for the 215 previously - identified members found in the region covered by our spitzer survey .
note that ( a ) the 215 previously - identified objects include those members without infrared excesses identified via other mechanisms ; ( b ) the 215 previously - identified objects are those covered by our spitzer map there are other legitimate taurus members outside the region we observed , such as in l1551 ; ( c ) our new candidate member list is necessarily just those with ir excesses and exclusively within the regions covered by our spitzer observations . some objects are resolved in one or more of the spitzer images , and extended source photometry may be a better representation of the complete flux from the object ; many of the extended sources are discussed individually in other papers ( e.g. , tobin et al .
2008 , stapelfeldt et al . in prep )
the observations , data reduction , and ancillary data are described in [ sec : obs ] .
section [ sec : pickysos ] describes our young stellar object ( yso ) selection process which is based on the colors of previously - identified taurus members , also presented here .
we describe 34 objects that we have , thus far , identified as new members of taurus ( plus 3 probable new members and 10 possible new members ) in [ sec : discussion ] and discuss the properties of the new objects in conjunction with ( and comparison to ) the previously - identified members of taurus .
finally , we summarize our main points in [ sec : concl ] .
the appendix contains spectral energy distributions and discussion of some specific objects .
p08 and p09 present a comprehensive discussion of the spitzer data acquisition , reduction , and bandmerging to the 2mass data . in summary
, we conducted the observations using irac ( infrared array camera ; 3.6 , 4.5 , 5.8 , & 8 @xmath2 m ; fazio et al .
2004 ) and mips ( multi - band imaging photometer for spitzer ; 24 , 70 , & 160 @xmath2 m ; rieke et al .
2004 ) in two epochs to enable removal of asteroids from the final point - source catalog .
the observations were spread over three observing programs and three years , 2005 to 2007 . for irac , we used mopex ( mosaicking and point source extractor ; makovoz & marleau 2005 ) to find the sources , and idl to perform aperture photometry at those locations . with our irac observations , we sacrificed redundancy for spatial coverage , and obtained just 2 irac frames per position ( total integration time of 25.2 seconds ) , so instrumental artifacts are abundant .
we discarded single - band ( apparent ) detections as likely artifacts .
objects that we measured to be brighter than the 0.6 sec saturation limits ( 630 , 630 , 4600 , and 2500 mjy at the four irac channels ) we took to be saturated , and these appear as lower limits in our catalog .
the zero - points we used to convert between flux densities and magnitudes were as found in the irac data handbook on the ssc website : 280.9 , 179.7 , 115.0 , and 64.13 jy for irac s four channels , respectively . for mips
, we used mopex point - response - function ( prf ) fitting photometry at 24 and 70 @xmath2 m .
the total integration time at 24 @xmath2mwas 30 seconds per position ; the mips scan legs were interleaved to provide complete coverage at 70 @xmath2 m , and a total integration time of 15 seconds per position .
we took objects brighter than 4.7 jy at 24 @xmath2 m and 6.5 jy at 70 @xmath2 m to be saturated ( or at least non - linear ) .
these objects appear in our catalog as having lower flux density limits . following the mips data handbook on the ssc website ,
the zero - points that convert between flux densities and magnitudes are 7.14 and 0.775 jy for mips-24 and 70 . the observations at 160 @xmath2 m present special challenges .
all of the things that can affect the other bands ( such as saturation , extended emission , confusion with the cloud background and nearby objects whether they be taurus or background objects and instrumental artifacts ) , also affect this band . because the taurus cloud emission and instrumental effects are both very strong , and because the resolution is the poorest of all the spitzer bands , these items are of particular concern at this bandpass . additionally , due to scattered data gaps in our 160 @xmath2 m map ( see p08,p09 ) , measurements ( or limits ) at 160 @xmath2 m are missing or compromised for some sources .
mopex does not detect any point sources automatically at 160 @xmath2 m , because all detected point - like objects appear to be slightly resolved . for @xmath0100 objects that were apparent by eye in the 160 @xmath2 m image ( or for which limits
were of interest for this paper ) , we performed aperture photometry on the cleaned image which was smoothed by a 4 pixel median filter to minimize the influence of holes in the map and image artifacts .
we used a 32@xmath3 aperture , an annulus from 64 - 128@xmath3 , and an aperture correction of 1.97 ( valid for temperatures between 500 and 2000 km is likely to be cooler than this , but the aperture correction changes only by 0.7% between this temperature range and 50 k , well within the uncertainties . ] ) .
based on a comparison of the flux densities obtained from the filtered image and the unfiltered image , we took the flux density uncertainties to be 20% below 5 jy and 30% for higher flux densities .
some objects that fell in regions with too many missing flux density values ( from saturation or gaps in the map ) are not retrievable and thus do not have a measurement ( or limits ) ; in essence , they are off the edge of the map . visual inspection of each 160 micron source was used in order to determine whether the object was clearly detected as a single point source , confused with another nearby source , or contaminated by data dropouts and/or saturation issues which would cause the reported flux density to be a lower limit ; these are indicated in the data tables below .
the zero - point for mips-160 is 0.159 jy , again from the mips data handbook on the ssc website .
we extracted @xmath4@xmath5 data from the 2mass point source catalog for our region , retaining flux densities only for those objects with high - quality 2mass data flags .
there were a handful of objects of interest for this paper for which we made the following manual modifications , and therefore these modified values were used for the color - magnitude diagrams ( cmds ) and spectral energy distributions ( seds ) below .
measurements for five objects did not meet the data flag criteria we imposed on the 2mass catalog , but their as - reported flux densities were completely consistent with the rest of their sed , so we adopted their measurements as good detections ; these objects are sst tau 041542.7 + 290959 , 041542.7 + 290959 , 042517.6 + 261750 , 043835.4 + 261041 , and 043354.7 + 261327 .
flux densities for one or more bands for the following previously - identified taurus members do not exist in the point source catalog , and thus the flux densities used below were taken from the extended source catalog : sst tau 042757.3 + 261918 , 044112.6 + 254635 , 043535.3 + 240819 , and 043316.5 + 225320 .
we bandmerged all the available point sources between 2 and 70 microns using position matching alone , with a wavelength - dependent maximum matching radius .
sources between 2 and 8 @xmath2 m were matched over a radius of 1@xmath3 , and at 24 @xmath2 m , the matching radius to the rest of the catalog was 2@xmath3 .
all matching radii are values empirically determined by inspection of histograms of nearest neighbors between bands , and spot - checking individual sources ; histograms of positional offsets and additional discussion appears in p09 .
we pre - merged the 24 and 70 @xmath2 m catalogs before merging to the rest of the catalog using an empirically - determined radius of 10@xmath3 .
because the spatial resolution of the 70 @xmath2 m images is so much worse than the 2 @xmath2 m images , often more than one nir ( or optical ) source can be matched to the 70 @xmath2 m source ; however , it is extremely likely that if we detect a source at 70 @xmath2 m , it will also appear at 24 @xmath2 m , so by implementing the pre - merge of 24 and 70 @xmath2 m , we are preferentially matching the 70 @xmath2 m sources to a likely physical match .
we include here a brief aside on the accuracy of blind merging by position . in the generic case of surveys across wavelengths ,
relative astrometric accuracy and spatial resolution is paramount . in our case of a catalog primarily driven by spitzer+2mass sources ,
astrometric accuracy is not the dominant source of error , since each instrument is internally consistent and calibrated to the 2mass coordinate system . for many star - forming regions studied with spitzer , e.g. , many of those observed by the cores - to - disks ( c2d
; evans et al . 2003 ) and gould s belt ( allen et al . in preparation ) projects , the source surface density is high enough that blind merging by position causes an unacceptable rate of false matches , and multiple short - wavelength sources should in reality be assigned to a single long - wavelength source .
however , the source surface density in taurus is low enough ( @xmath04 sources per square arcminute , compared to @xmath020 in some star - forming regions ) that source confusion in general is not as much of a concern . on the other hand , in taurus ,
many objects are known to be close binaries , and we do not apportion the flux density we observe between the two objects ; for close binaries , we have treated the object as single here . in any case , in three of the objects investigated in detail for this paper ( @xmath61% of the objects investigated , @xmath60.5% of the total number of 70 @xmath2 m sources in the entire catalog ) , we determined by individual inspection that the 24/70 flux densities were incorrectly matched to a nearby faint short - wavelength source , rather than the correct , bright , slightly farther away , short - wavelength source . in these cases , we manually tweaked the flux assignment ; the position change is well within the expected uncertainties between the long- and short - wavelength catalogs .
we are confident that for the large majority of the sources in our entire catalog , our blind merging by position works , but for any particular source not discussed here , the images and the flux assignment in our delivered catalogs should be carefully scrutinized . in creating our spitzer - centric catalog
, we dropped any object without a spitzer detection ( e.g. , sources off the edges of our maps ) before proceeding and after each additional merging step below ( e.g. , when combining the sdss catalog and the spitzer catalog , we did not retain sdss - only sources from off the edges of our map or whose sed falls so rapidly that they are too faint for our shallow spitzer survey ) .
there are nearly 700,000 sources in the catalog with spitzer flux densities in at least one band .
this does not include the asteroids , which will be discussed by hines et al .
, in preparation . it also does not include sources that are substantially extended ( except at 160 @xmath2 m , see below ) ; many of those will be covered by stapelfeldt et al .
, in preparation .
the vast majority of the @xmath0700,000 sources are well behind the taurus molecular cloud .
sources which are members are generally expected to be bright in the shorter bands and detected in multiple bands .
p09 discusses the survey sensitivity in detail . in summary ,
the 3.6 and 4.5 @xmath2 m sensitivities are quite comparable , and 98% of the objects detected in 3.6 @xmath2 m are also detected at 4.5 @xmath2 m .
the 5.8 and 8 @xmath2 m channels are much less sensitive ; only 22% of the objects detected at 3.6 @xmath2 m are also detected at 5.8 @xmath2 m , and just 17% of the objects detected at 3.6 @xmath2 m are also detected at 8 @xmath2 m ( where nebulosity can also be a factor in point source identification and extraction ) .
our 24 , 70 , and 160 @xmath2 m sensitivity is a strong function of position in the image because of nebular and high zodiacal dust emission contributions to the background . in part because of the varying background but also because of the effective sensitivity of the instrument to photospheres at the distance of taurus given our exposure times , just 1.4% of the objects detected at 3.6 @xmath2 m are also detected at 24 @xmath2 m , and just 0.15% are detected at 70 @xmath2 m .
the faintest independent 24 @xmath2 m detection is @xmath010th mag ( @xmath0m2 spectral type photosphere at taurus age and distance ) , and the histogram of detections turns over at @xmath09.3 mags ( e.g. , there is a steep fall - off between [ 24]@xmath09.3 and 10 , where the bracket notation denotes the magnitude at that band ) .
similarly , at 70 @xmath2 m , the faintest object is [ 70]@xmath03.5 , and a more typical value is 2.5 - 2.7 ( note that 70 @xmath2 m is much more strongly affected by nebular emission and instrumental effects than 24 @xmath2 m ) .
only o or b photospheres would be that bright at the distance of taurus , so we can only detect legitimate taurus objects at 70 ( or 160 ) @xmath2 m which have substantial ir excesses .
a full completeness analysis is given by p09 , but as another independent way of assessing our completeness , we examined by hand each of the images at each of the spitzer bands for each of the previously identified taurus members and new candidate taurus members discussed here ( see [ sec : known ] and [ sec : selectionoverview ] ) .
if the object could be seen in the image but a flux density was not initially reported at that band , we made a manual assessment of the flux density or upper / lower limit , as appropriate .
for irac , @xmath01 - 2% ( depending on the band ) of the previously identified taurus members and
@xmath04 - 11% of the new candidate members were missing photometry and were filled in manually ( having lower signal - to - noise ) .
the most common band in which flux densities were erroneously missing ( e.g. , not in the automatically generated catalog but visible in the images ) was 5.8 @xmath2 m , which is not particularly surprising , as this is the least sensitive of the irac bands .
for mips , @xmath09% of the previously identified taurus members were missing photometry in either 24 or 70 @xmath2 m , and @xmath06% of the new candidate objects were missing photometry at 24 or 70 @xmath2 m . the lower fraction of missing photometry in the new candidate objects as compared to the previously identified objects is a reflection of the fact that our selection mechanism is somewhat biased towards objects with mips detections ; see [ sec : newsamplesummary ] below .
many sources detected at shorter wavelengths are undetected at longer wavelengths , and it is important for our science analysis to obtain upper limits for our sources in the spitzer photometric bands . for the list of coordinates of previously identified and new candidate taurus members , at 24 @xmath2 m , we used mopex to look for a source whose photometry could be obtained via prf - fitting at that location .
if an object was detected , we took a weighted average flux density based on all detections ( e.g. , between epochs and tiles ) .
if the final signal - to - noise ratio ( snr ) was @xmath63 , we took the error to be the 1@xmath7 upper limit , and multiplied by 3 to get the 3@xmath7 limits found in the data tables below and seds in [ sec : seds ] .
if the prf fitting failed , we performed aperture photometry at the location of the object ( at each tile and epoch available ) , and took a weighted average of all the resultant positive aperture flux densities .
if that average had a snr @xmath83 , we took that weighted average to be a detection .
for all objects that had snr@xmath63 , we took the upper limit to be the 1@xmath7 limit ( and multiplied by 3 to get the 3@xmath7 limits found in the data tables and seds below ) .
if all the measured aperture flux densities were negative , we took the 1@xmath7 limit to be the straight average of the errors ( and multiplied by 3 to get the 3@xmath7 limits found in the tables and seds below ) . finally , still at 24 @xmath2 m
, the objects that can not be resolved from a companion are reported as simply unknown , where the presence of a companion is known from shorter - wavelength higher - spatial - resolution observations . at 70 @xmath2 m ,
some objects are unresolved from a nearby object and are impossible to estimate ( again , where the presence of a companion is known from shorter - wavelength higher - spatial - resolution observations ) .
upper limits at 70 @xmath2 m for all remaining undetected sources were obtained by performing aperture photometry at the expected source location , using a 35@xmath3 aperture and a multiplicative aperture correction of 1.22 , as discussed in the mips data handbook , available at the ssc website .
these 1-@xmath7 errors were multiplied by 3 to get the 3-@xmath7 errors shown in the tables and figures here .
upper limits at 160 @xmath2 m were individually assessed using aperture photometry on the uncertainty image using the same parameters as for detected sources above ( 32@xmath3 aperture , an annulus from 64 - 128@xmath3 , and an aperture correction of 1.97 ) to obtain 1-@xmath7 errors , and then multiplied by 3 to get the 3-@xmath7 errors shown in the tables and figures here . in [
sec : spitzerdata ] , above , we discussed merging the 2mass and spitzer data .
we also need to match our catalog to the other taurus surveys , listed in [ sec : intro ] above .
again , we match by position , with a radial offset tolerance customized empirically to each band or catalog .
the extracted cfht point sources ( see monin et al . in preparation or guieu et al .
2006 for more details on the extraction process ; also see monin et al .
2007 or guieu 2008 ) are merged first to 2mass .
sources that are cfht - only are then dropped in order to remove objects that are very statistically likely to be instrumental artifacts .
the cfht sources are then merged to the spitzer catalog .
the cfht @xmath9 bandpass is converted to cousins @xmath9 via the following equation : @xmath10 and then converted to flux densities using the cousins @xmath9 zero - point from bessell ( 1979 ) , @xmath11 w m@xmath12 hz@xmath13 . for these points , we use the @xmath14 effective wavelength of 0.79 @xmath2 m .
about 138,000 of the point sources in our catalog have cfht @xmath14 magnitudes ( 20% of the entire catalog ) .
the sdss photometry arrives from the sdss pipeline with photometric measurements in @xmath15 in flux density units of nanomaggiesjy . for more discussion ,
see padmanabhan et al .
] , which can be converted to the same flux density units as the rest of the catalog data .
we retained only those flux density measurements with good quality flags , and we merged the source lists for each of the sdss tiles to each other by position to remove duplicates before merging to the master spitzer catalog .
the effective wavelengths are 3590 , 4810 , 6230 , 7640 , and 9060 for @xmath15 , respectively .
we also made note of whether the object appearing in the sdss images was flagged by the pipeline as extended or not .
there are sdss @xmath16-band flux densities for about 300,000 objects in our catalog ( 45% of the entire catalog ) .
there are 6400 spectra available from sdss , about 3400 of which overlap the spitzer survey region ; for each object , we matched by position to our spitzer catalog , and accepted the spectral classification produced by the sdss pipeline as a spectral classification of the object , unless another spectral classification was available in the literature ( see below ) .
there are @xmath01000 objects in our catalog ( 0.1% of the entire catalog ) with x - ray measurements from the xest survey ( gdel et al.2007 ) .
the xest catalog includes flux densities from the xmm - newton optical monitor ( om ) .
the om has a field of view comparable to , but not exactly identical to , the main x - ray field of view ; see audard et al .
( 2007 ) for more discussion of the xest - om sample .
these data are in one of three ultraviolet bandpasses ( @xmath17 , uvw1 , or uvw2 ) .
to convert these values to flux densities , we used the following equation , found in the xmm - newton om calibration document ( chen et al.2004 ) : @xmath18 where @xmath19 is the reported magnitude ( and @xmath20 the flux density ) for a given object , @xmath21 = 18.259 , 17.204 , and 14.837 , and @xmath22 = 1.94@xmath23 , 4.76@xmath23 , and 5.71@xmath24 ergs cm@xmath12 s@xmath13 @xmath13 counts@xmath13 sec for @xmath17 , uvw1 , and uvw2 ( respectively ) . in the equation
, @xmath26 is in units of , and @xmath27 is @xmath28 s@xmath13 the effective wavelengths are 0.344 , 0.291 , and 0.212 @xmath2 m for @xmath17 , uvw1 , and uvw2 .
there are @xmath01600 objects with xmm - newton om flux densities in our catalog ( 0.2% of the entire catalog ) .
we note that many of the x - ray detected xest sources are likely background galaxies ( see gdel et al .
2007 ) and that xest included regions not covered by our map , such as l1551 .
the xest team assembled a catalog of supporting data from the literature , such as optical photometric measurements , for all of the previously - identified taurus members ( see [ sec : known ] below ) ; we have included these photometric points in our database , converting johnson magnitudes to flux densities using zero - points available in the literature ( e.g. , cox 2001 and references therein ) .
the seds presented in this paper use all of these supporting data where available ( except for the x - ray fluxes ) , and are presented as @xmath29 in cgs units ( erg s@xmath13 cm@xmath12 ) , against @xmath26 in microns .
we obtained follow - up spectroscopy for @xmath075% of the candidate ysos discussed in this paper . some previously identified taurus members missing spectral types in our database ( as discussed in [ sec : known ] below ) were also observed .
data were obtained over six runs between 2007 and 2009 at keck and the palomar 200@xmath30 .
most of the @xmath31200 spectra are low - resolution optical , obtained with the double spectrograph at palomar ( 30 nov - 3 dec 2008 ) or lris at keck ( feb 2007 ) .
many spectra were taken in the infrared with triplespec at palomar ( 21 - 24 nov 2008 and 21 dec 2008 ) or nirspec at keck ( dec 2007 and feb 2008 ) .
the infrared spectra will be discussed in a forthcoming paper ; the optical spectra are discussed here .
the optical spectra from palomar are taken in two segments , blue and red ; the blue covered @xmath03710 - 5660 at @xmath02 / px and the red , @xmath06230 - 8720 at @xmath02.5 / px . instrument settings were a 316 lines mm@xmath13 grating blazed at 7500 and used at grating angle 24.75@xmath32 for the red side , and a 300 lines mm@xmath13 grating blazed at 3900 and used at grating angle 23.12@xmath32 for the blue side .
lris at keck is also a double - barreled spectrograph which we used with a 400 lines mm@xmath13 grism blazed at 3400 in the blue and a 400 lines mm@xmath13 grating blazed at 8500 and positioned at grating angle 23.49@xmath32 in the red .
we obtained continuous wavelength coverage from the blue atmospheric cutoff to @xmath0 9400 at 1.86 px@xmath13 .
the double spectrograph and lris data were both reduced using the image reduction and analysis facility ( iraf ) ccdred and onedspec packages .
images were trimmed , bias - subtracted , and flattened prior to spectral extraction with the iraf task apall .
wavelength calibration was performed using a fe - th - ar lamp in the blue and th - ar lamp in the red .
the wavelength solution was applied using the iraf task dispcor .
the white dwarf feige 34 was observed each night , providing an approximate flux calibration reference for all the scientific targets .
spectral classification was obtained via visual examination of each spectrum and comparison to a standard grid composed of @xmath860 stars ranging in types from b8 to m9 .
four authors performed the classification independently to achieve an estimated accuracy of roughly a subclass .
the red spectra included h@xmath1 .
for each spectrum , we used iraf to measure an equivalent width for h@xmath1 , following the usual convention where negative values indicate emission ( see [ sec : newsamplesummary ] ) .
we also noted if the ca ir triplet was in emission at the time of observation ; this is indicated in the data tables below .
the spectroscopic data are sufficient to rule out redshifted galaxies , to classify stars , and to find stars with h@xmath1 in emission . however , our data are of insufficient resolution to , e.g. , detect the presence of lithium , or determine surface gravities for most types .
section [ sec : newsamplesummary ] discusses an analysis similar to that presented by slesnick et al .
( 2008 ) which uses the tio 8465 index and na 8190 index to determine an estimate of the surface gravity of the star .
additional follow - up data will be required to assess membership for stars with no h@xmath1 in emission and a small ir excess at spitzer bands , and/or types earlier than m1 where the gravity analysis is not applicable .
first , we establish two comparison samples from the literature , and then we discuss the process by which we selected new candidate ysos in taurus .
we first informed our search for new taurus members by determining the regions of color space occupied by previously identified taurus members . by `` taurus member , ''
we mean an object that is confirmed via multiple mechanisms to be young and associated with the taurus molecular cloud and the other taurus members , e.g. , sharing communal properties such as stellar activity . by `` previously identified , ''
we mean identified as a member by other authors in the literature using data sets other than the taurus spitzer legacy survey . however , in order to appear in our catalog , the object must be within the region we mapped with spitzer .
there are legitimate taurus members outside our region , including , e.g. , those in the l1551 region .
the core of our sample of previously - identified taurus members is the list assembled by the xest team for their analysis ( see gdel et al.2007 and references therein ) .
we have updated this list with more recently confirmed objects ( e.g. , scelsi et al .
2008 ) , as well as scattered additional previously - identified taurus members found in the literature .
kenyon et al .
( 2008 ) also report previously identified taurus objects , with @xmath030 more objects in our spitzer field of view , which we have also included ( but see appendix [ sec : popups ] for one object from kenyon et al .
( 2008 ) which we rejected ) .
we have thus defined our sample of previously identified taurus members as basically an updated xest+kenyon et al .
list convolved with our survey coverage .
there are 215 previously - identified taurus members in our spitzer maps .
there are @xmath0100 more objects from kenyon et al.which are outside our mapped region .
binary objects that are unresolved in any of our spitzer maps are regarded here as a single object ( e.g. , fs tau aab , whose separation is @xmath33 ) .
we discuss the overall spitzer properties of this list in some detail below .
we note here that all of these 215 previously - identified taurus members were detected by spitzer , but not all of them have ir excesses ; this list includes the young stars without ir excesses ( e.g. , mostly weak - lined t tauri stars , wtts ) discovered by other means .
hartmann et al .
( 2005 ) report irac observations of a set of previously identified members covered by irac guaranteed time observation ( gto ) team observations .
this region of the sky is also covered by our shallower map , to the same depth as the rest of our survey .
our photometry agrees within the errors expected from photometry methodology and from the intrinsic variability of the stars .
we do not include the objects reported by luhman et al .
( 2006 , 2009a , b ) as previously known objects because they were found with an independent analysis of the same data used here our taurus legacy data , in part along with the xest data and the derived values agree .
scelsi et al .
( 2008 ) present spectroscopic follow - up on potential new taurus members discovered by the xest survey ( scelsi et al . 2007 ) .
three confirmed new taurus members from scelsi et al .
( 2008 ) were independently discovered and confirmed by us using spitzer data ( sst tau 043456.9 + 225835 = xest 08 - 003 , sst tau 043542.0 + 225222 = xest 08 - 033 , and sst tau 042215.6 + 265706 = xest 11 - 078 ) .
since we report these in the list of new taurus members , these do not appear in the list of previously identified taurus members ; they are noted in the tables below .
the new members reported there that we did not rediscover are included in our list of previously identified taurus members .
a complete discussion of the spitzer properties of all of the candidate members found using xest x - rays that were presented by scelsi et al .
( 2007 ) will appear in audard et al .
, in preparation .
aside from previously - identified taurus members , there are a large variety of other previously - identified objects in our survey region .
many of these are clearly not taurus members , but some are more ambiguous .
the previously - identified objects include known extragalactic objects , named objects of unknown nature , confirmed non - members , and potential ( unconfirmed ) members of taurus .
to construct this list , we first searched in simbad over our entire field to obtain a list of @xmath08000 known objects . for objects that did not already have high - precision coordinates , we went back to the original article reporting the discovery of the object and attempted re - identification of the object using finding charts and 2mass images .
if no finding charts were available , the brightest close object from 2mass was assigned to the object s name .
some objects are not recoverable , but most were identified ; nearly 90% of the entire @xmath08000-object list has high - accuracy coordinates in the end .
new coordinates were reported back to the simbad team for inclusion in their database .
we also included the results from several papers from the literature reporting specifically confirmed non - members .
these confirmed non - members can be candidate member objects from other taurus surveys such as luhman et al .
( 2006 ) or scelsi et al .
( 2008 ) , that failed a spectroscopic test for membership .
they can also be spectroscopically confirmed background giants from studies of the ism ( e.g. , studies of the taurus dark cloud ) .
these confirmed non - members have not necessarily been ingested into simbad , since they were not the primary scientific result of the paper .
note that we did not list as non - members those objects merely assumed but not confirmed ( via spectroscopy ) to be background giants .
we merged this list by position with our master catalog to identify objects seen in our survey . for each object for which a match was found in our catalog ,
we went back to the original literature in an attempt to identify it as a known extragalactic object , a named object of unknown nature ( e.g. , objects from an all - sky survey where no specific follow - up has been done ) , a confirmed non - member ( as defined immediately above ) , or a potential ( unconfirmed ) member of taurus . in the case of objects from the literature listed as potential but unconfirmed taurus members , we noted and bookkept these objects separately , and we mention them where relevant below ; some are indeed recovered here by our spitzer - based searches for ysos .
thus , the sample of taurus non - members is certainly biased and far from comprehensive and is _ defined _ to include mixtures of stars , other galactic objects ( such as planetary nebulae ) , and extragalactic objects .
this sample can be indicative of some typical colors to expect from a variety of types of infrared - bright non - member objects .
as a further diagnostic for non - members ( including extragalactic objects ) , we merged by position to the 2mass extended object catalog .
objects in this catalog are likely but not guaranteed to be all extragalactic objects 11 ( out of 215 ) previously identified taurus members are also 2mass extended objects ( due to , e.g. , scattered light from extended dust structures ) , but 107/148 previously - known galaxies are 2mass extended objects .
2mass extended object identifications , if relevant , are noted in the data tables and seds below . in order to find new candidate taurus members , we first examined various color - color and color - magnitude spaces using our entire taurus catalog , highlighting the locations of the previously identified objects ( both members and non - members ) .
we compared these diagrams to discussions in the literature also seeking to identify ysos from spitzer photometric measurements ( e.g. , allen et al .
2004 , padgett et al .
2008b , rebull et al .
2007 , harvey et al .
2007 , gutermuth et al.2008 ) .
there is no single color selection criterion that is 100% reliable in separating members from non - member contaminants .
exactly which color selection criteria work best can be a strong function of the relative bandpass sensitivities and saturations , since 2mass , irac , and mips do not all detect the same faintest objects ( due not only to sensitivities but also degree of interstellar reddening and embeddedness of the young protostellar objects ) , or saturate for the same brightest objects .
after extensive empirical investigation using diagrams from the literature as well as new diagrams , we selected four color - magnitude diagrams ( cmds ) and one color - color diagram ( ccd ) which provided the best diagnostics for ysos , and we used them to construct an initial list of new candidate ysos . in each diagram , we define regions most likely to harbor yso candidates , and regions most likely to contain galaxies or other non - members ; these are listed in detail in [ sec : samplecriteria ] . by imposing these color selections
, we are selecting objects that have infrared excesses ( e.g. , flux densities above that expected for a photosphere ) and whose overall brightness is consistent with objects at the taurus distance .
we interpret these excess objects as dusty objects , with circumstellar disks and/or envelopes .
we do not select objects without infrared excesses .
one aspect of our survey which makes it different from many of the spitzer - based surveys in the literature is our extensive optical imaging .
while the sdss and cfht imaging data do not cover every square arcminute of the spitzer maps , they cover most of it . the sdss spatial resolution is only slightly better than the irac resolution at @xmath01.4@xmath3 , but the cfht data has much better spatial resolution at @xmath34 .
we examined the images at all available bands for each of the nearly 900 objects meeting the color - color or color - magnitude criteria ( plus many more objects in the process of establishing these color spaces ) . at any band , if the object is a resolved galaxy , or projected in the vicinity of a galaxy cluster , we dropped it from further consideration .
some of the objects that are resolved are actually previously - identified ysos .
many of the objects that have spitzer colors similar to ysos turn out to be resolved galaxies when examined with sdss or cfht .
these optical imaging data have been crucial to our ability to distinguish galaxies from yso candidates . if the candidate object meets the color criteria in any one of the color - magnitude spaces we investigated and passes the imaging / spatial resolution test , we regard it as a provisional yso candidate , pending additional scrutiny discussed below .
objects meeting the color criteria but failing the imaging / spatial resolution test are `` candidate non - members '' and appear separately in the figures below .
previously identified taurus members tend to be bright , because previous infrared ( and optical ) surveys were shallower than our surveys .
true new taurus members are also likely to be generally bright .
very red ( embedded or cool ) objects could also be members , especially since this survey goes fainter in the infrared than any prior survey of the region ( excepting the spitzer gto observations in the various core regions , hartmann et al .
. however , the fainter objects are also statistically more likely to be galaxies , especially over our survey area of more than 44 square degrees at @xmath35 galactic latitude .
thus , we specifically focused our attention on bright and/or red objects meeting our color selection criteria .
faint red objects meeting our color selection criteria were also considered but are statistically more likely to be galaxies than yso taurus members .
in addition to the easily quantifiable spitzer magnitude and color criteria , we also individually assessed each candidate yso using qualitative judgments . these include but are not limited to : morphology in imaging data in each available band ; relative brightness at all bands from @xmath17 to 160 @xmath2 m ( e.g. , infrared excess , but optical too bright to be a taurus member ) ; amplitude of excess ; shape of sed ; apparent ( projected ) proximity to other previously identified taurus members ; apparent ( projected ) proximity to clearly - identifiable galaxies ( e.g. , appearing to be part of a galaxy cluster ) ; resolvable spiral arms or tidal tails ; previous identifications ( e.g. , with the 2mass extended source catalog ) ; estimated @xmath36 from the 160 @xmath2 m map ( e.g. , objects seen in high extinction regions are likely taurus members ) ; and star counts ( a similar criterion to proximity to galaxies or estimated @xmath36 ) . these assessments were done over several weeks by groups of co - authors and resulted in increased appreciation of the range of contaminants , and more objects being identified as new likely galaxies .
( see the appendix discussion on 8 @xmath2 m pop - up objects , " [ sec : popups ] , for an example of a class of objects we rejected . )
we looked critically at the shape of the excess above the photosphere , and if the excess appeared only at one band ( 8 or 24 @xmath2 m ) , we retained the object as a yso candidate only if it was more than 4@xmath7 above the photosphere ( see [ sec : insignifirx ] for many of the rejected low - significance sources ) .
for the surviving yso candidates , based on all of the available information from any wavelength ( spectroscopic as well as photometric , plus derived information such as placement in a theoretical hertzprung - russell diagram see [ sec : ldlstar ] ) as well as all the criteria listed above , we assigned a letter grade , a / b / c , with grades of `` a '' as more likely members than those with grades of `` c. '' these qualitative criteria can fail to recover some of the previously - identified taurus members .
several of the previously - identified taurus members do not have ir excesses and are therefore not recoverable by our search .
seven of the previously - identified taurus members ( e.g. , 042146.3 + 265929 or 042307.7 + 280557 ) would probably have been rejected because in the optical images , these objects are in front of a field of galaxies , i.e. , they appear to be part of a galaxy cluster , and are not in a high @xmath36 region .
one additional previously identified member , the well - known edge - on disk iras 04302 + 2247 ( = sst tau 043316.5 + 225320 ) , was temporarily identified as a galaxy because its appearance was so unusual in the optical image . while our process is clearly imperfect , we are confident that , working as a group and using all of the available multi - wavelength information , we have identified a reasonably high - confidence sample of candidate taurus members present in our photometric catalog .
our approach for finding ysos is customized to our data set .
this labor - intensive process is not one that can be blindly applied to other regions , even regions where similar extensive supporting optical data are available .
while our color selection can be easily applied to any spitzer+2mass catalog , the manual examination of each object is not necessarily easily duplicated and certainly automating this process is not currently possible . however , because our survey is wide - area , and the contamination rate is high , this process is unavoidable and has been crucial to our yso selection . the time we spent in vetting the candidate list enabled more efficient use of our follow - up spectroscopic telescope time , e.g. , there was little time wasted in taking spectra of contaminants .
lllllll 24/70 cmd & either [ 24]@xmath67 or [ 24]@xmath37[70]@xmath86 & [ 24]@xmath87 + @xmath5/24 cmd & @xmath5@xmath614 and @xmath5@xmath37[24]@xmath81 & @[email protected] + 8/24 cmd & [ 8]@xmath37[24]@xmath80.5 and & [ 8]@xmath89.5 + & ( ( [ 8]@xmath37[24]@xmath64 and [ 8]@xmath610 ) or ( [ 8]@xmath37[24]@xmath38 4 and [ 8]@xmath62.5@xmath39([8]@xmath37[24 ] ) ) ) + 4.5/8 cmd & [ 4.5 ] @xmath6 6 and & [ 4.5]@xmath811 + & ( [ 4.5 ] @xmath40 6 and [ 4.5 ] @xmath41 11.5 + & and [ 4.5]@xmath37[8 ] @xmath8 0.4 ) or ( [ 4.5 ] @xmath8 11.5 and [ 4.5 ] @xmath6 0.6944@xmath39([4.5]@xmath37[8])+11.22 ) + irac ccd & [ 3.6]@xmath37[4.5]@xmath8 0.15 and [ 5.8]@xmath37[8]@xmath8 0.3 and [ 3.6 ] @xmath6 13.5 & + the color - color and color - magnitude spaces we have chosen to use ( see [ sec : process ] for overview ) are the following : [ 24 ] vs.@xmath37[70 ] ( [ sec : cmd1 ] ) , @xmath5 vs. @xmath5@xmath37[24 ] ( [ sec : cmd2 ] ) , [ 8 ] vs. [ 8]@xmath37[24 ] ( [ sec : cmd3 ] ) , [ 4.5 ] vs.@xmath37[8 ] ( [ sec : cmd4 ] ) , and finally , [ 3.6]@xmath37[4.5 ] vs.@xmath37[8 ] with an additional [ 3.6 ] brightness cutoff ( [ sec : cmd5 ] ) .
table [ tab : samplecriteria ] summarizes the details of the sample selection criteria for each parameter space .
our final selection includes objects selected in any of these parameter spaces ( not just objects selected in all of them ) ; this will be discussed in more detail in [ sec : newsamplesummary ] .
( we explicitly compare this selection method to others from the literature in [ sec : othermeth ] below . )
we discuss each of these parameter spaces , in the order given above and in table [ tab : samplecriteria ] , in
[ sec:2470]-[sec : irac ] ; for each , there is a figure ( figures [ fig:2470]-[fig : irac ] ) consisting of 6 panels .
each of the panels contains either a subsample or a comparison sample to clearly demonstrate our selection techniques . in the remainder of this section ,
we discuss each of the panels in introductory terms only . in the upper left of each figure
is the swire ( spitzer wide - area infrared extragalactic survey ; lonsdale et al .
2003 ) elais n1 extragalactic field ( the c2d reduction see evans et al . 2007 is used here , as in rebull et al .
2007 and padgett et al .
the elais n1 field is a @xmath06 square degree field centered on 16h08m44s + 56d26m30s ( j2000 ) , or galactic coordinates ( @xmath42 ) of 86.95 , + 44.48 ( to be compared with the taurus map center of @xmath43173,@xmath3715 ) .
the swire sample is expected to be essentially entirely galaxies and foreground stars , and as such provides a visual guide to the locations where such objects appear in the corresponding diagram .
note that this is just the @xmath06 square degree field , as observed ; it has _ not _ been scaled up to represent @xmath044 square degrees of taurus data , because in this case we are primarily interested in the range of colors sampled by the galaxies , not the overall numbers . as we will see below , many newly discovered extragalactic objects in our survey have colors very similar to many certifiable ysos , and different than the colors of objects found in swire .
note also the galactic latitude difference ; this difference in galactic latitude is likely to dominate the source counts in irac bands 1 and 2 .
more discussion of relative source counts will appear in p09 . in the upper right panel of each figure ,
our entire taurus catalog is represented , so that various sub - samples can be seen in the context of the larger catalog .
the taurus catalog is expected to consist of ysos , foreground / background stars ( and other non - stellar galactic objects such as planetary nebulae ) , and background galaxies ( recall that the asteroids have already been removed ) . to first order , then , the objects in the taurus catalog that do not resemble the objects found in swire are the ysos . however , the populations are not necessarily well - separated , as can be seen in the remaining panels of the figures .
the remaining 4 panels in each figure are subsets of the taurus catalog .
the second row of plots contains ysos , both the previously identified taurus members ( left ) and new candidate taurus members ( right ) , those selected by that particular diagram ( @xmath44 ) as well as others selected from other diagrams ( grey dots ) .
the distribution of previously identified taurus members includes those selected based on infrared excess and those selected via other mechanisms , and thus includes objects without ir excesses ; of course , we will not find objects like the latter using spitzer .
note also that the distribution of previously identified taurus members often includes objects that have colors resembling galaxies .
this is not surprising , since the galaxies are indeed undergoing star formation ; thus , these color selection mechanisms are successfully finding star formation , just not necessarily in taurus .
the set of new candidate taurus members is constructed from a color and magnitude cut on the entire sample , and then examining all of the available data for each of the candidates , dropping the likely galaxies ( [ sec : gradations ] ) .
the third and final row contains the distributions for non - members , both previously identified and newly identified here .
the left panel is the sample of previously identified non - members which , as discussed in
[ sec : nonmembers ] , includes stars identified via proper motions , background giants , and galaxies identified in the literature .
the last panel is the sample of all objects identified as possibly ysos based on spitzer colors but then rejected as such , based primarily on inspection of the optical images and seds ; see [ sec : gradations ] .
objects which passed all the other tests to be yso candidates but failed the spectroscopic test ( see [ sec : spectra ] ) are indicated in the last two panels of the figures by grey stars .
( note that , having been selected by the other tests , they _ also _ appear in the 4th panel as candidate ysos . ) thus , for the color - magnitude or color - color space represented by each figure , one can examine and compare the distribution of galaxies ( swire , previously identified non - members , new non - members ) , the distribution of ysos ( previously identified taurus members ) , the distribution of foreground / background stars ( swire , previously identified non - members ) , and the distribution of new candidate taurus members .
lcccccccccccccc initial sample size & 447 & & 357 & & 381 & & 334 & & 266 & & 883 & & 103 + # previously identified ysos ( all ) & 89 & & 135 & & 124 & & 102 & & 102 & & 144 & & 65 + ( % out of cmd selection ) & & 19 & & 37 & & 32 & & 30 & & 38 & & 16 & & 63 + ( % out of 215 previously identified yso sample ) & & 41 & & 63 & & 58 & & 47 & & 47 & & 67 & & 30 + # new candidate ysos ( all ) & 34 & & 85 & & 81 & & 65 & & 57 & & 148 & & 16 + ( % out of cmd selection ) & & 7 & & 23 & & 21 & & 19 & & 21 & & 16 & & 15 + ( % out of 148 new candidate yso sample ) & & 22 & & 57 & & 55 & & 44 & & 39 & & 100 & & 11 + # previously identified nm ( all ) & 47 & & 51 & & 33 & & 38 & & 30 & & 98 & & 10 + ( % out of cmd selection ) & & 10 & & 14 & & 8 & & 11 & & 11 & & 11 & & 9 + ( % out of 821 previously identified nm sample ) & & 6 & & 6 & & 4 & & 5 & & 4 & & 12 & & 1 + # new nm ( all ) & 270 & & 92 & & 147 & & 121 & & 72 & & 487 & & 12 + ( % out of cmd selection ) & & 60 & & 25 & & 38 & & 36 & & 27 & & 55 & & 11 + ( % out of 489 new nm sample ) & & 55 & & 19 & & 30 & & 25 & & 15 & & 100 & & 2 + # swire ( all ; for comparison ) & 57 & & 29 & & 20 & & 42 & & 7 & & 109 & & 1 + ( % out of entire swire sample ) & & 3 & & 1 & & 0.9 & & 2 & & 0.3 & & 5 & & 0.04 + # previously identified ysos ( faint ) & 0 & & 3 & & 15 & & 5 & & & & 19 & & 2 + ( % out of cmd selection ) & & 0 & & 0.8 & & 3 & & 1 & & & & 2 & & 1 + ( % out of 215 previously identified yso sample ) & & 0 & & 1 & & 7 & & 2 & & & & 9 & & 1 + # new candidate ysos ( faint ) & 6 & & 9 & & 21 & & 32 & & & & 56 & & 4 + ( % out of cmd selection ) & & 4 & & 3 & & 6 & & 10 & & & & 8 & & 5 + ( % out of 148 new candidate yso sample ) & & 4 & & 6 & & 14 & & 22 & & & & 38 & & 3 + # previously identified nm ( faint ) & 8 & & 16 & & 6 & & 32 & & & & 49 & & 8 + ( % out of cmd selection ) & & 1 & & 4 & & 1 & & 9 & & & & 5 & & 7 + ( % out of 821 previously identified nm sample ) & & 1 & & 2 & & 0.7 & & 4 & & & & 5 & & 1 + # new nm ( faint ) & 156 & & 43 & & 110 & & 111 & & & & 371 & & 11 + ( % out of cmd selection ) & & 34 & & 12 & & 28 & & 33 & & & & 42 & & 10 + ( % out of 489 new nm sample ) & & 32 & & 9 & & 22 & & 23 & & & & 76 & & 2 + # swire ( all ; for comparison ) & 40 & & 15 & & 13 & & 24 & & & & 107 & & 1 + ( % out of entire swire sample ) & & 2 & & 0.7 & & 0.6 & & 1 & & & & 5 & & 0.04 + lrrrr total sample size & 215 ( 1.00 ) & 196 ( 1.00 ) & 148 ( 1.00 ) & 92 ( 1.00 ) + having irac 3.6 @xmath2 m & 193 ( 0.90 ) & 174 ( 0.89 ) & 142 ( 0.96 ) & 86 ( 0.93 ) + having irac 4.5 @xmath2 m & 189 ( 0.88 ) & 170 ( 0.87 ) & 145 ( 0.98 ) & 90 ( 0.98 ) + having irac 5.8 @xmath2 m & 212 ( 0.99 ) & 193 ( 0.98 ) & 147 ( 0.99 ) & 91 ( 0.99 ) + having irac 8.0 @xmath2 m & 206 ( 0.96 ) & 187 ( 0.95 ) & 147 ( 0.99 ) & 92 ( 1.00 ) + having mips 24 @xmath2 m & 173 ( 0.80 ) & 154 ( 0.79 ) & 135 ( 0.91 ) & 82 ( 0.89 ) + having mips 70 @xmath2 m & 95 ( 0.44 ) & 89 ( 0.45 ) & 35 ( 0.24 ) & 17 ( 0.18 ) + having all 4 irac & 187 ( 0.87 ) & 168 ( 0.86 ) & 141 ( 0.95 ) & 86 ( 0.93 ) + having all 4 irac+mips 24 & 154 ( 0.72 ) & 135 ( 0.69 ) & 128 ( 0.86 ) & 76 ( 0.83 ) + having both mips & 89 ( 0.41 ) & 83 ( 0.42 ) & 35 ( 0.24 ) & 17 ( 0.18 ) + having @xmath5 & 209 ( 0.97 ) & 194 ( 0.99 ) & 140 ( 0.95 ) & 92 ( 1.00 ) + having prior name & 215 ( 1.00 ) & 196 ( 1.00 ) & 65 ( 0.44 ) & 46 ( 0.50 ) + [ sec : cmd1 ] the [ 24 ] vs. [ 24]@xmath37[70 ] diagram has been used before to find new candidate ysos ( e.g. , padgett et al . 2008b , rebull et al . 2007 ) . figure [ fig:2470 ] shows this color - magnitude diagram for the 6 samples mentioned in
[ sec : samplecriteria ] above ( left to right , top to bottom ) : swire ( expected to be essentially entirely galaxies ) , the entire taurus sample , previously identified taurus members , new candidate taurus members , previously identified non - members ( stars identified via proper motions , background giants , and galaxies identified in the literature ) , and new candidate non - members identified here . by inspection of figure [ fig:2470 ]
, we find that objects with [ 24]@xmath87 and [ 24]@xmath37[70 ] between about 4 and 7 are statistically likely to be galaxies .
unadorned photospheres ( e.g. , old foreground stars ) will be bright and have [ 24]@xmath37[70]@xmath00 ; an a3 zams photosphere has [ 24]@xmath07 at the distance of taurus , and for a median taurus - age member , [ 24]@xmath07 corresponds to mid - k .
compared to the swire catalog , the entire taurus catalog contains many objects with similar colors , but also many objects that are similarly red and much brighter at [ 24 ] , and therefore are candidate dusty young stars .
based on the properties of the previously identified member and non - member samples , the properties of the swire sample , and discussions in the literature , the selection we impose to search for new candidate ysos is either [ 24]@xmath67 or [ 24]@xmath37[70]@xmath86 .
statistics on this sample are given in table [ tab : sampleproperties2new ] ( along with statistics from the swire sample for comparison ) ; in summary , this cut yields @xmath0450 objects , each of which we investigated at all our available imaging bands ; @xmath020% of them are previously identified taurus members , @xmath07% of them survive the tests to be potential new ysos , and @xmath070% are previously identified or new non - member objects .
nearly all of the previously identified taurus members that appear in this plot have [ 24]@xmath67 .
this is a likely bias in that all of the previous infrared surveys searching for taurus members were much shallower than this spitzer survey
the iras sensitivity limit was about 0.3 jy , so we are going 7 magnitudes fainter than iras .
however , in order to appear in this plot , the objects have to have been detected at 70 @xmath2 m as well , so the sensitivity of the 70 @xmath2 m survey is usually the limiting factor . of the entire sample of previously identified taurus members within our survey ,
80% are detected at 24 @xmath2 m ( see table [ tab : sampleproperties1new ] ) , and just 45% are detected at 70 @xmath2 m ; @xmath05% of the previously identified taurus members are saturated in mips-24 and @xmath03% are saturated in mips-70 . in this diagram , the set of previously - identified taurus objects is generally distinguished from the distribution of faint objects found in the swire sample .
fainter taurus objects ( [ 24]@xmath87 ) could exist , but objects that faint are statistically likely to be galaxies ; their properties at other bands could suggest otherwise .
objects surviving the imaging test ( and other qualitative criteria see [ sec : gradations ] ) but with [ 24]@xmath87 are therefore further identified as `` faint . '' about 17% of the @xmath035 potential new ysos in this parameter space are faint .
many of the other faint objects selected by our color / magnitude cut indeed resolve into galaxies when examined using the cfht or sdss imaging
@xmath060% of all of the objects selected in this space are new galaxy candidates .
about 100 of the brighter objects selected by this color cut resolve into galaxies , so faintness alone is insufficient for locating and identifying galaxies .
as can be seen in figure [ fig:2470 ] , most of the previously - identified non - members and new candidate non - members resemble the colors of objects found in swire .
figure [ fig:2470 ] and the statistics in table [ tab : sampleproperties1new ] also demonstrate that our sample of candidate new ysos is on average redder and fainter than the sample of previously identified ysos . as discussed above (
[ sec : spectra ] ) , we have obtained palomar and/or keck spectroscopy of many of our candidate objects . because this color selection uses bandpasses far from optical , these objects are often very faint indeed at optical or nir bands .
we have spectroscopy for about 70% of the 34 new candidate ysos selected in this color space .
so far , almost 90% of those are stellar ( e.g. , ysos or stars that could still be shown to be foreground stars or background giants ) , and just 4 are confirmed to be extragalactic objects .
[ sec : cmd2 ] as for [ 24 ] vs. [ 24]@xmath37[70 ] , the @xmath5 vs. @xmath5@xmath37[24 ] diagram has been used previously to find new candidate ysos ( e.g. , padgett et al.2008b , rebull et al .
figure [ fig : kk24 ] shows this color - magnitude diagram for the same samples as fig .
[ fig:2470 ] ( see [ sec : selectionoverview ] ) . the swire sample clearly ( more obviously than the previous diagram ) consists of both galaxies ( @xmath5@xmath3114 and @xmath5@xmath37[24 ] between about 4 and 8) and stars ( @xmath5@xmath4510 and @xmath5@xmath37[24]@xmath00 ) . as before ,
the entire taurus catalog has many objects with colors similar to the swire sample , but also many objects that have properties different than the swire sample , e.g. , redder than @xmath5@xmath37[24]@xmath01 and brighter than @xmath5@xmath014 , as well as redder than @xmath5@xmath37[24]@xmath08 .
note that the lack of sources in the lower left of each panel is an artifact of the sensitivity limits of the survey .
the sample of previously identified taurus members , for the most part , have @xmath5@xmath614 , which generally avoids the region populated by galaxies in the swire sample , but there are legitimate ysos mixed in with the galaxies in this parameter space . here
too , the historical bias towards brighter objects in prior surveys can be seen , and faint red objects could be legitimate ysos . essentially all of the previously identified yso sample has a @xmath5 measurement in our database , but as mentioned above , just @xmath080% are cleanly detected at 24 @xmath2 m ( see table [ tab : sampleproperties1new ] ) .
as above , fainter objects are statistically likely to be galaxies .
the selection we impose on this parameter space to search for new candidate ysos is that @xmath5@xmath614 and @xmath5@xmath37[24]@xmath8 1 .
again , table [ tab : sampleproperties2new ] summarizes the sample sizes ; @xmath0360 objects meet these criteria , including most of the ( detected ) previously identified taurus members ; note that there are some stars without apparent ir excess ( e.g. , likely wtts ) with @xmath5@xmath37[24]@xmath00 , and there are ysos that have colors resembling galaxies .
note also that late - type stars do not have @xmath5@xmath37[24]=0 ( gautier et al .
2007 ) . objects with @[email protected] are further identified as `` faint '' and thus statistically likely to be galaxies .
previously identified taurus members compose 135 of the objects meeting the basic color criteria ; about 50 are previously identified non - member objects , most of which are 2mass extended sources ( which could be galactic or extragalactic objects ) . by inspection of the individual images , about 100 of the objects selected here
are clearly resolved galaxies . besides the previously identified taurus objects , 85 objects are indistinguishable from point sources , or have morphologies consistent with yso candidates , and meet all the other qualitative criteria ( see [ sec : gradations ] ) for potential new ysos selected via this color space ; a quarter of these were already found via the 24/70 color magnitude diagram above . in this parameter space
, there is still a bias ( relative to the previously identified taurus member sample ) towards finding red and faint objects , but this appears to be not nearly as strong as it was in the 24/70 space above . of the 85 candidate ysos found in this space ,
we have already obtained palomar and/or keck spectroscopy ( see [ sec : spectra ] ) for 85% of them .
all of them except for 1 are stellar ( e.g. , ysos or stars that could still be shown to be foreground stars or background giants ) ; just 1 is rejected outright as a galaxy .
a relatively high fraction of literature background giants appear as selected in this parameter space .
because there is a large difference in wavelength between @xmath5 and [ 24 ] , this search is particularly sensitive to objects with small excesses , which could be interesting transition disk candidates .
however , these objects could also be subject to reddening from the taurus cloud that is high enough to significantly affect @xmath5 but not 24 @xmath2 m , or taurus cloud emission affecting the 24 @xmath2 m but not the @xmath5 photometry background giants are therefore potentially selected in this space .
several objects presented in the literature as _ candidate _
background objects based on shorter - wavelength photometric observations ( i.e. , without confirming spectroscopy ) appear here as objects with potential excesses only at the longer wavelengths . with the information we have ,
we are unable to distinguish currently between transition disk candidates ( i.e. , taurus objects with excesses only at 24 @xmath2 m ) and confirmed background giants .
these objects are all identified in table [ tab : posnewyso ] as candidate non - members which we have promoted to low - grade candidate ysos .
the seds that appear in appendix [ sec : seds ] reveal that several of our candidate objects indeed have @xmath5 values significantly affected by reddening and some candidate objects with clear cloud emission at 8 and/or 24 @xmath2 m are indicated in table [ tab : newysot3 ] ; also see [ sec : insignifirx ] for discussion of objects with very small excesses , usually just at 24 @xmath2 m . we expect that several of the objects we have identified here will turn out to be background giants .
some candidate transition disk objects will be discussed in mccabe et al .
( 2009 ) .
we note here that for surveys where the irac and mips coverage is well - matched , using [ 3.6 ] or even [ 4.5 ] in place of @xmath5 for this color - magnitude space is likely to be a better choice for searching for ysos for two reasons : ( a ) minimizing the influence of reddening on @xmath5 ( 3.6 or 4.5 @xmath2 m is less affected by reddening than @xmath5 ; see padgett et al .
2008b for more discussion on the influence of @xmath36 ) , and ( b ) minimizing the intrinsic range of star colors the intrinsic @xmath5@xmath37[24 ] color of m stars is not zero ( gautier et al .
2007 ) whereas [ 3.6]@xmath37[24 ] or [ 4.5]@xmath37[24 ] is zero for those stars . specifically for our survey ,
the overall @xmath36 towards taurus is low , and all young stars at the distance of taurus should be visible to 2mass unless they are edge - on substellar objects .
moreover , using [ 3.6 ] or [ 4.5 ] in place of @xmath5 does not reveal any yso candidates not already selected by the color spaces used here , and finds in total only 2 more extragalactic objects .
had we used either [ 3.6 ] or [ 4.5 ] in place of @xmath5 , however , we would have found a factor of @xmath04 fewer objects that we believe ( based on inspection and our qualitative criteria ) to be likely reddened background giant contaminants .
[ sec : cmd3 ] while essentially all of the previously identified ysos have 2mass detections at @xmath5 , some fainter legitimate ysos may be embedded enough that the relatively shallow 2mass survey will not detect the objects at @xmath5 , whereas they will be detected by our irac survey .
thus , we chose to investigate the [ 8 ] vs. [ 8]@xmath37[24 ] parameter space ; see figure [ fig:8824 ] .
the morphology of this space is similar to the @xmath5 vs. @xmath5@xmath37[24 ] space , except the region occupied primarily by galaxies is now more elongated in color and has a more prominent slope towards fainter and redder objects . in order to select specifically for objects redder than most galaxies , the selection criteria we used consist of three line segments : ( a ) [ 8]@xmath37[24]@xmath80.5 to avoid the stars without excesses ; and ( b ) ( [ 8]@xmath37[24]@xmath64 and [ 8]@xmath610 ) to catch the bright stars in the middle of the plot ; or ( [ 8]@xmath37[24]@xmath38 4 and [ 8]@xmath62.5@xmath39([8]@xmath37[24 ] ) ) to obtain the reddest stars .
objects with [ 8]@xmath89.5 are statistically likely to be galaxies , and thus those are further identified as `` faint '' in table [ tab : posnewyso ] . about 380 objects in the catalog meet these criteria , @xmath0120 of which are previously identified ysos , @xmath0180 of which are non - members ( previously identified or new ) , and @xmath080 of which survive the imaging test ( and other qualitative criteria see [ sec : gradations ] ) and remain potential ysos . of these
, @xmath025 were already found using the [ 24 ] and [ 70 ] selection criteria ( [ sec:2470 ] ) , @xmath055 were found using @xmath5 and [ 24 ] ( [ sec : k24 ] ) , and @xmath020 were found in all three color - magnitude planes .
there is an apparent gap in the last panel of figure [ fig:8824 ] inside the `` galaxy blob '' at [ 8]@xmath37[24]@xmath84 and [ 8]@xmath810 .
this is a direct result of our selection methodology .
the fainter , bluer part of the distribution are largely those objects that were not obviously point sources in the optical imaging , and the redder part of the distribution closely tracks the ( dotted ) dividing line we used for our selection criteria .
this population is composed of objects we rejected as candidate ysos based on the qualitative criteria listed in [ sec : gradations ] above .
we have followup spectroscopy ( see [ sec : spectra ] ) for @xmath080% of the 81 new candidate ysos selected in this color space . nearly all
( 95% ) of these are stellar ; just 3 are rejected as galaxies .
[ sec : cmd4 ] to this point , we have required mips-24 detections for yso candidate selection , which strongly biased our sample of new potential ysos towards the generally brighter and/or larger excess objects ( by comparison to the rest of the catalog ) . as an example of how many ysos we may be missing by requiring 24 @xmath2 m , just @xmath080% of the previously identified ysos
are detected at 24 @xmath2 m .
this results from a combination of intrinsic disk properties ( where disk emission makes the objects easier to detect at 24 @xmath2 m ) and the spitzer sensitivity relative to low - mass photospheres at the taurus distance ( for those ysos without disks ) . by loosening this restriction and not requiring mips-24
, we extend the sample of potential objects , but also the potential contamination .
we now investigate the [ 4.5 ] vs. [ 4.5]@xmath37[8 ] parameter space ; see figure [ fig:4.58 ] .
this parameter space , on its own , provides the largest possible initial sample size we have yet investigated , as 17% of the entire catalog is detected in these two irac bands ( compared with just 2% of the entire catalog detected at mips-24 ; see p09 for additional similar statistics ) . to first order ,
the morphology of this space is similar to the other spaces we have investigated , with the photospheres clustering around [ 4.5]@xmath37[8]@xmath00 and the galaxies in a red and faint grouping .
there are some new features apparent in this space , however .
saturation at 4.5 @xmath2 m occurs at 650 mjy ( 6.1 mags ) , so the locus of colorless objects is truncated at that level . in the sample of previously identified taurus members , there is a clear distinction between the disked and non - disked population ( a gap near [ 4.5]@xmath37[8]=0.5 ) which is not seen when considering the entire catalog .
the selection criteria we used to find candidate ysos in this space selected the brighter and redder objects ; we did this by stitching together several line segments .
they are : ( a ) [ 4.5 ] @xmath6 6 and ( b ) ( [ 4.5 ] @xmath38 6 and [ 4.5 ] @xmath41 11.5 and [ 4.5]@xmath37[8 ] @xmath8 0.4 ) or ( c ) ( [ 4.5 ] @xmath8 11.5 and [ 4.5 ] @xmath6 0.6944@xmath39([4.5]@xmath37[8])+11.22 ) .
about 335 objects meet these basic criteria , @xmath0100 of which are previously identified ysos , and @xmath0160 of which are new or previously identified non - members .
about 65 objects survive the imaging test ( and other qualitative criteria see [ sec : gradations ] ) and are new candidate ysos .
the distribution of these objects in this color - magnitude space is very different than that for the previously identified members ; these new objects are distinctly fainter and redder on the whole than the previously identified sample
. objects with [ 4.5]@xmath811 are given the `` faint '' flag in table [ tab : posnewyso ] .
about a third of the new candidate yso sample selected here are also retrieved from the 24/70 space above and about two - thirds are also retrieved from the @xmath5/24 and 8/24 spaces above .
about 65% of these 65 candidate taurus objects have palomar and/or keck spectroscopy ( see [ sec : spectra ] ) , and nearly all are stellar ; just 4 are dropped as galaxies .
[ sec : cmd5 ] as our final selection mechanism , we use the irac color - color diagram ( as seen in , e.g. , allen et al .
this parameter space , on its own , provides an initial sample size comparable to the previous 4.5/8 color selection , as 13% of the entire catalog is detected in all 4 irac bands ( to be compared with just 2% of the entire catalog being detected at mips-24 , and 17% detected at 4.5 and 8 microns ; see p09 for additional similar catalog statistics ) .
however , by using the irac color - color diagram on its own , we are blind to any luminosity information about the sources .
this information was present previously because we were using color - magnitude , not color - color , diagrams . given the surface density of galaxies , as well as the fact that the galaxy / yso separation is not as vivid in this parameter space , the luminosity information is crucial .
we imposed a _ requirement _ of [ 3.6 ] @xmath6 13.5 , and the cut we used on the irac color - color space was ( based on literature discussions ) [ 3.6]@xmath37[4.5]@xmath8 0.15 and [ 5.8]@xmath37[8]@xmath8 0.3 .
this approach is different than in our consideration of the above parameter spaces , where we specifically called out yso candidates fainter than a specific level . using these criteria ,
@xmath0265 objects are selected , @xmath0100 of which are previously identified taurus members , @xmath0100 of which are non - members ( previously identified or new ) , and @xmath065 of which are new candidate ysos . of those , @xmath035% were also found using 24/70 , @xmath060% were found using @xmath5/24 or 8/24 , and @xmath080% were found using 4.5/8 .
( more on objects selected using all cmds in [ sec : newsamplesummary ] below . )
as can be seen in figure [ fig : irac ] , the previously identified taurus members roughly fall into two groups those with little or no irac excess , and those with substantial excesses . among our new candidate members
, we have some objects with little or no irac excess ( selected from other parameter spaces ) , as well as objects with more substantial excesses , but the division is not as clean , suggesting contaminants in our yso candidate list .
we have also selected some objects that are very red in [ 5.8]@xmath37[8 ] but nearly colorless in [ 3.6]@xmath37[4.5 ] . these could be disks with large inner holes , or galaxies .
a little more than half of these 57 candidate objects have spectroscopy ( see [ sec : spectra ] ) from palomar and/or keck ; just 4 are galaxies .
[ sec : datatables ] now that we have used the spitzer properties of the previously - identified taurus member sample to select a new candidate yso sample , we present the data tables with observed and derived properties of both sets of objects . in this section ,
we review the contents of tables [ tab : knownyso][tab : newmembers ] .
the contents of tables [ tab : knownyso ] and [ tab : posnewyso ] are similar but not identical , as are the contents of tables [ tab : knownysot3 ] and [ tab : newysot3 ] .
table [ tab : newmembers ] summarizes the new members , sorted by confidence level .
tables [ tab : knownyso ] and [ tab : posnewyso ] present , for each of the previously identified taurus members and the new candidate taurus members identified here , respectively , sst tau names ( note , as iau - compliant names , the right ascension and declination as given in the name are truncated , not rounded ) , a common name from previous studies ( if applicable ) , and measurements in the spitzer bands . for most of these objects ,
this is the first time that mips flux densities have appeared in the literature . since many of the previously identified and new candidate taurus members appear as having yso - like colors in more than one of the color - magnitude and color - color diagrams of table [ tab : samplecriteria ] and figures [ fig:2470]-[fig : irac ] , tables [ tab : knownyso ] and [ tab : posnewyso ] also present the color criteria that are met by each object individually , for each of the color spaces we use here to identify yso candidates .
objects appearing faint and red ( see [ sec : gradations ] above ) are indicated as such .
seds for each of the previously identified members and new candidates appear in appendix [ sec : seds ] ; the sed properties of the sample as whole will be discussed in [ sec : netsed ] below .
table [ tab : posnewyso ] additionally contains notes about individual objects .
these tables are sorted by sst tau name , effectively sorted by ra and then dec .
additional information about each of the previously identified taurus members and the new candidate taurus members identified here appears in tables [ tab : knownysot3 ] and [ tab : newysot3 ] , respectively .
both of these tables start by repeating the sst tau name , and a previous common name ( if applicable ) .
table [ tab : newysot3 ] then lists the grade ranking ( see [ sec : gradations ] above ) that we assigned each of the candidate objects .
note that these tables are still sorted by position ; table [ tab : newmembers ] later presents the candidate taurus members in order of confidence .
we compare our search method to others in the literature in [ sec : othermeth ] below ; in preparation for that , tables [ tab : knownysot3 ] and [ tab : newysot3 ] indicate , for each of the previously identified taurus members , how ( or if ) the c2d ( harvey et al .
2007 ) or gutermuth et al .
( 2008 ) criteria for ysos identified the object .
( nb : whether or not our search recovered each previously identified object can be found in table [ tab : knownyso ] . )
tables [ tab : knownysot3 ] and [ tab : newysot3 ] contain a yso classification .
the near- to mid - ir slope of each sed , @xmath1 , is what we used for determining a yso classification for these objects . for each of the previously identified and new candidate objects in our survey
, we performed a simple ordinary least squares linear fit to all available photometry ( just detections , not including upper or lower limits ) between 2 and 24 @xmath2 m , inclusive .
note that errors on all of the infrared points are so small as to not affect the fitted sed slope , and that a forthcoming paper will investigate the ( small ) effects of fitting a line to all available points within a different wavelength range , e.g. , 3.6 to 24 @xmath2 m . in the spirit of wilking et al .
( 2001 ) , we define @xmath46 , where @xmath47 for a class i , 0.3 to @xmath370.3 for a flat - spectrum source , @xmath370.3 to @xmath371.6 for a class ii , and @xmath481.6 for a class iii .
we realize that the precise definition of @xmath1 can vary , resulting in different classifications for certain objects ; detailed discussion of this issue is beyond the scope of this paper .
classification via this method is provided for all previously identified and new candidate objects specifically to enable comparison within this paper via internally consistent means .
adopted spectral types appear in tables [ tab : knownysot3 ] and [ tab : newysot3 ] .
this spectral type comes from the literature ( see [ sec : known ] ) or from our spectra ( [ sec : spectra ] ) ; if the latter , it is indicated as such in the `` notes '' column . if we obtained a spectrum for the object , and if h@xmath1 was measurable , we report the equivalent width in these tables ( see [ sec : spectra ] for analysis details ) . if the ca infrared triplet was in emission at the time of our observation , it is noted in the `` notes '' column . tables [ tab : knownysot3 ] and [ tab : newysot3 ] include an estimate of the star s luminosity ( @xmath49 ) and an estimate of the ratio of the infrared excess luminosity to the star s total ( photospheric+infrared ) luminosity ( @xmath50 , where @xmath51 ) .
we describe briefly our procedure to determine the infrared luminosity .
many faint sources were undetected at the longest wavelengths ; we extrapolated missing data points for wavelengths longer than 8.0 @xmath2 m .
we used the longest wavelength available data point as a reference and assumed that its flux density corresponded to blackbody emission peaking at that wavelength .
we then used this blackbody function to estimate the missing fluxes at the longer wavelengths .
we compared the measured @xmath52 colors and the expected photospheric @xmath53 colors ( as tabulated in chapter 7 of allen s astrophysical quantities ; cox 2001 ) , attributing any difference to extinction , @xmath36 , and we corrected the photometric fluxes for it .
we obtained a spline curve through the corrected fluxes in @xmath54 , @xmath55 space on a wavelength grid from 0.1 to 1000 with a @xmath56 . to determine the infrared excess , we determined the underlying stellar photospheric emission using phoenix stellar atmosphere models for @xmath57 k and kurucz models for @xmath58 k and matched the stellar atmosphere model to the corrected @xmath59-band fluxes .
the infrared luminosity was calculated by measuring the difference between the spline curve and the stellar atmosphere model .
we emphasize that care was taken to ensure that we included only adequate excess luminosity contributions at each wavelength of the grid ( e.g. , if the stellar atmosphere model showed a drop in flux between the @xmath5 and @xmath60 m fluxes , and the spline curve was above but there was no obvious sign of infrared excess at those wavelengths , the contribution to the infrared luminosity was not included ) .
we also only included contributions if the spline curve was at least 1.5 times larger than the stellar atmosphere contribution .
finally , we determined if the calculated infrared luminosity was an upper limit by checking that at least one of the corrected photometric fluxes beyond @xmath60 m were real and not extrapolated .
if the latter , the infrared luminosity was indicated as an upper limit .
note that this method is subject to several caveats : ( a ) objects that do not have spectral types ( particularly common in the list of new candidate objects ) do not have a calculated @xmath36 , and therefore no @xmath61 or @xmath50 ; ( b ) this method of dereddening using @xmath52 ignores the potential for near - ir excess ( as well as veiling and the h - opacity minimum at 1.6 @xmath2 m ) and therefore this method can overestimate @xmath61 ; ( c ) ysos intrinsically vary at essentially all the wavelengths used here , and the photometry across the sed for each object was not obtained contemporaneously .
our values for @xmath50 are probably good to a factor of 2 , and are sufficient to determine if a source has an envelope , is an optically thick disk only , a highly flattened / thinning disk , or a debris - like system .
( see [ sec : ldlstar ] for more discussion . )
this approach is demonstrably inaccurate in comparison to more complex methods , such as those employing bolometric corrections to reddening - corrected flux densities in well - calibrated passbands .
however , more detailed modeling is beyond the scope of this paper . for the 148 new candidate taurus members , table [ tab : newysot3 ]
also contains an adopted membership classification indicating whether or not we regard the object as a taurus member .
this classification combines information from all of the available photometric and optical spectroscopic data ( see [ sec : newsamplesummary ] and [ sec : gradations ] ) .
extragalactic objects are noted as `` xgal . ''
objects that we believe to be reliable new members are indicated as `` new member . ''
objects that we think are likely to be new members but there is still some doubt are listed as `` probable new member . ''
objects with the next gradation of confidence are `` possible new members .
'' objects for which we have spectra but can not determine clear membership are listed as `` needs additional followup '' and , finally , objects with no spectroscopic data yet are pending followup .
" there are 34 new members , 3 probable new members , 10 possible new members , 7 extragalactic objects , 2 other objects , 60 stars needing additional follow - up observations , and 33 pending any follow - up observations . note that while all the `` new members '' are also grade a objects , not all grade a objects are `` new members '' , because of the need for additional data in many cases . a final data table , table [ tab : newmembers ] , lists the new members in order of quality , sorted by their category ( new member , probable new member , possible new member , needs additional followup , or pending followup ) , and then by our rank ( and then by catalog number ) , such that the objects we grade as most likely to be new members appear at the top of the list .
table [ tab : newmembers ] also contains the projected angular separation from to the nearest previously - identified taurus object .
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrl 041314.1 + 281910 & lkca 1 & 8.54@xmath62 0.05 & 8.50@xmath62 0.05 & 8.41@xmath62 0.05 & 8.43@xmath62 0.05 & 8.28@xmath62 0.08&@xmath8 1.30 & & & no & no & no & no & + 041327.2 + 281624 & anon 1 & 7.23@xmath62 0.05 & 7.24@xmath62 0.05 & 7.17@xmath62 0.05 & 7.08@xmath62 0.05 & 6.95@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.27 & & & no & no & no & no & + 041353.2 + 281123 & iras04108 + 2803 a & 9.02@xmath62 0.05 & 8.37@xmath62 0.05 & 7.67@xmath62 0.05 & 6.57@xmath62 0.05 & 3.44@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.19 & @xmath8 -2.05 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & b + 041354.7 + 281132 & iras04108 + 2803 b & 9.38@xmath62 0.05 & 8.03@xmath62 0.05 & 6.96@xmath62 0.05 & 5.78@xmath62 0.05 & 1.38@xmath62 0.04 & -1.84@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.94 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & b + 041357.3 + 291819 & iras04108 + 2910 & 7.48@xmath62 0.05 & 6.84@xmath62 0.05 & 6.26@xmath62 0.05 & 5.54@xmath62 0.05 & 3.13@xmath62 0.04 & 1.15@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -3.39 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041411.8 + 281153 & j04141188 + 2811535 & 10.93@xmath62 0.06 & 10.40@xmath62 0.05 & 10.12@xmath62 0.07 & 8.99@xmath62 0.06 & 5.76@xmath62 0.01&@xmath8 1.03 & & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041412.2 + 280837 & iras04111 + 2800 g & 13.19@xmath62 0.06 & 11.90@xmath62 0.06 & 11.19@xmath62 0.06 & 10.39@xmath62 0.06 & 3.47@xmath62 0.04 & -0.33@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & & yes
faint&yes
faint & yes & + 041412.9 + 281212 & v773 tau abc&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.13@xmath62 0.05 & 4.38@xmath62 0.05 & 1.69@xmath62 0.04 & 0.27@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & & & + 041413.5 + 281249 & fm tau & 8.09@xmath62 0.05 & 7.67@xmath62 0.05 & 7.36@xmath62 0.05 & 6.42@xmath62 0.05 & 2.92@xmath62 0.04 & 1.07@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041414.5 + 282758 & fn tau & 7.59@xmath62 0.05 & 7.17@xmath62 0.05 & 6.71@xmath62 0.05 & 5.75@xmath62 0.05 & 2.03@xmath62 0.04 & -0.25@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041417.0 + 281057 & cw tau&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.08@xmath62 0.05 & 4.51@xmath62 0.05 & 1.75@xmath62 0.04 & -0.42@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & & & + 041417.6 + 280609 & cida-1 & 8.67@xmath62 0.05 & 8.13@xmath62 0.05 & 7.59@xmath62 0.05 & 6.71@xmath62 0.05 & 3.53@xmath62 0.04 & 1.28@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041426.2 + 280603 & iras04113 + 2758 a&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 4.63@xmath62 0.05 & 3.79@xmath62 0.05&@xmath6 0.45 & -2.54@xmath62 0.22 & -4.35@xmath62 0.34 & & & & & & f + 041430.5 + 280514 & mho-3 & 7.22@xmath62 0.05 & 6.49@xmath62 0.05 & 5.75@xmath62 0.05 & 4.53@xmath62 0.05&@xmath6 0.45 & -1.06@xmath62 0.22 & -4.15@xmath62 0.34 & & & & yes & yes & + 041447.3 + 264626 & fp tau & 8.11@xmath62 0.05 & 7.86@xmath62 0.05 & 7.60@xmath62 0.05 & 7.27@xmath62 0.05 & 4.25@xmath62 0.04 & 1.22@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041447.8 + 264811 & cx tau & 8.48@xmath62 0.05 & 8.13@xmath62 0.05 & 7.68@xmath62 0.05 & 6.63@xmath62 0.05 & 3.35@xmath62 0.04 & 1.23@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041447.9 + 275234 & lkca 3 ab & 7.28@xmath62 0.05 & 7.33@xmath62 0.05 & 7.27@xmath62 0.05 & 7.23@xmath62 0.05 & 7.07@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.17 & & & no & no & no & no & + 041449.2 + 281230 & fo tau ab & 7.53@xmath62 0.05 & 7.17@xmath62 0.05 & 6.72@xmath62 0.05 & 5.92@xmath62 0.05 & 2.83@xmath62 0.04 & 0.79@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041505.1 + 280846 & cida-2 & 8.90@xmath62 0.05 & 8.79@xmath62 0.05 & 8.71@xmath62 0.05 & 8.68@xmath62 0.05 & 8.45@xmath62 0.11&@xmath8 1.31 & & & no & no & no & no & + 041514.7 + 280009 & kpno-1 & 13.23@xmath62 0.13 & 12.72@xmath62 0.22 & 12.94@xmath62 0.09 & 12.81@xmath62 0.10&@xmath8 10.61 & @xmath8 0.90 & & & & & no & no & + 041524.0 + 291043 & j04152409 + 2910434 & 11.86@xmath62 0.05 & 11.79@xmath62 0.05 & 11.66@xmath62 0.06 & 11.48@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 10.06 & @xmath8 1.14 & & & & & no & no & + 041612.1 + 275638 & j04161210 + 2756385 & 9.38@xmath62 0.05 & 9.04@xmath62 0.05 & 8.71@xmath62 0.05 & 8.30@xmath62 0.05 & 5.37@xmath62 0.04 & 1.55@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041618.8 + 275215 & j04161885 + 2752155 & 10.88@xmath62 0.05 & 10.78@xmath62 0.05 & 10.67@xmath62 0.06 & 10.68@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.95 & @xmath8 1.26 & & & & & no & no & + 041628.1 + 280735 & lkca 4 & 8.18@xmath62 0.05 & 8.17@xmath62 0.05 & 8.04@xmath62 0.05 & 8.05@xmath62 0.05 & 7.94@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 1.20 & & & no & no & no & no & + 041639.1 + 285849 & j04163911 + 2858491 & 10.50@xmath62 0.05 & 10.14@xmath62 0.05 & 9.86@xmath62 0.05 & 9.41@xmath62 0.05 & 7.22@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.24 & & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041733.7 + 282046 & cy tau & 7.87@xmath62 0.05 & 7.53@xmath62 0.05 & 7.27@xmath62 0.05 & 6.72@xmath62 0.05 & 4.42@xmath62 0.04 &
1.87@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.41 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041738.9 + 283300 & lkca 5 & 8.93@xmath62 0.05 & & 8.80@xmath62 0.05 & & 8.66@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 1.61 & & & no & & & & + 041749.5 + 281331 & kpno-10 & 10.82@xmath62 0.05 & 10.36@xmath62 0.05 & 9.81@xmath62 0.05 & 8.89@xmath62 0.05 & 5.96@xmath62 0.04 & 1.92@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041749.6 + 282936 & v410 x - ray 1 & 8.41@xmath62 0.05 & 7.85@xmath62 0.05 & 7.42@xmath62 0.05 & 6.47@xmath62 0.05 & 3.78@xmath62 0.04 & 2.95@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041807.9 + 282603 & v410 x - ray 3 & 10.04@xmath62 0.05 & 9.94@xmath62 0.05 & 9.90@xmath62 0.06 & 9.80@xmath62 0.05 & 9.27@xmath62 0.21&@xmath8 1.79 & & & yes&yes faint & no & no & + 041817.1 + 282841 & v410 anon 13 & 10.23@xmath62 0.05 & 9.94@xmath62 0.05 & 9.49@xmath62 0.05 & 8.81@xmath62 0.05 & 6.04@xmath62 0.04 & & @xmath8 -0.57 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041822.3 + 282437 & v410 anon 24 & 9.84@xmath62 0.05 & 9.54@xmath62 0.05 & 9.34@xmath62 0.05 & 9.38@xmath62 0.05 & 9.29@xmath62 0.10&@xmath8 1.60 & @xmath8 1.50 & & yes & no & no & no & + 041829.0 + 282619 & v410 anon 25 & 8.87@xmath62 0.05 & 8.64@xmath62 0.05 & 8.46@xmath62 0.05 & 8.39@xmath62 0.05 & 8.15@xmath62 0.08&@xmath8 1.67 & @xmath8 0.12 & & yes & no & no & no & + 041830.3 + 274320 & kpno-11 & 10.71@xmath62 0.05 & 10.59@xmath62 0.05 & 10.60@xmath62 0.06 & 10.50@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 10.01 & @xmath8 1.46 & & & & & no & no & + 041831.1 + 282716 & v410 tau abc & 7.36@xmath62 0.05 & 7.34@xmath62 0.05 & 7.34@xmath62 0.05 & 7.25@xmath62 0.05 & 7.14@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.65 & & & no & no & no & no & + 041831.1 + 281629 & dd tau ab&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.29@xmath62 0.05 & 4.48@xmath62 0.05 & 1.75@xmath62 0.04 & -0.04@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & & & + 041831.5 + 281658 & cz tau ab & 8.46@xmath62 0.05 & 7.63@xmath62 0.05 & 6.62@xmath62 0.05 & 5.00@xmath62 0.05 & 1.96@xmath62 0.04 & 1.45@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041832.0 + 283115 & iras04154 + 2823 & 7.57@xmath62 0.05 & 7.07@xmath62 0.05 & 6.12@xmath62 0.05 & 5.52@xmath62 0.05 & 1.91@xmath62 0.04 & -0.38@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041834.4 + 283030 & v410 x - ray 2 & 8.35@xmath62 0.05 & 8.09@xmath62 0.05 & 7.80@xmath62 0.05 & 7.55@xmath62 0.05 & 3.41@xmath62 0.04 & 0.31@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & no & + 041840.2 + 282424 & v410 x - ray 4 & 8.91@xmath62 0.05 & 8.64@xmath62 0.05 & 8.44@xmath62 0.05 & 8.43@xmath62 0.05 & 8.09@xmath62 0.08&@xmath8 1.60 & @xmath8 -2.59 & & yes & no & no & no & + 041840.6 + 281915 & v892 tau&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 3.61@xmath62 0.05&@xmath6 3.52 & @xmath6 0.45 & @xmath6 -2.30 & @xmath6 -4.90 & & & & & & c d + 041841.3 + 282725 & lr1 & 9.50@xmath62 0.05 & 8.92@xmath62 0.05 & 8.44@xmath62 0.05 & 7.95@xmath62 0.05 & 4.65@xmath62 0.04 & 0.38@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.29 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041842.5 + 281849 & v410 x - ray 7 & 8.73@xmath62 0.05 & 8.61@xmath62 0.05 & 8.35@xmath62 0.05 & 8.09@xmath62 0.07 & 5.15@xmath62 0.01&@xmath8 -0.30 & @xmath8 -2.88 & & yes & yes & yes & no & + 041845.0 + 282052 & v410 anon 20 & 11.01@xmath62 0.05 & 10.74@xmath62 0.05 & 10.55@xmath62 0.06 & 10.57@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 10.20 & @xmath8 0.49 & @xmath8 -3.20 & & & & no & no & + 041847.0 + 282007 & hubble 4 & 7.09@xmath62 0.05 & 7.04@xmath62 0.05 & 6.95@xmath62 0.05 & 6.96@xmath62 0.05 & 6.78@xmath62 0.01&@xmath8 0.18 & @xmath8 -4.19 & & no & no & no & no & + 041851.1 + 281433 & kpno-2 & 12.25@xmath62 0.05 & 12.11@xmath62 0.06 & 12.02@xmath62 0.06 & 11.84@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 9.59 & @xmath8 1.59 & & & & & no & no & + 041851.4 + 282026 & coku tau/1 & 10.22@xmath62 0.05 & 9.02@xmath62 0.05 & 7.72@xmath62 0.05 & 5.87@xmath62 0.05 & 1.07@xmath62 0.04 & -0.98@xmath62 0.22&@xmath6 -2.55 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & c + 041858.1 + 281223 & iras04158 + 2805 & 9.23@xmath62 0.05 & 8.54@xmath62 0.05 & 7.85@xmath62 0.06 & 6.84@xmath62 0.05 & 2.73@xmath62 0.04 & -0.07@xmath62 0.22 & -2.51@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041901.1 + 281942 & v410 x - ray 6 & 8.76@xmath62 0.05 & 8.67@xmath62 0.05 & 8.54@xmath62 0.05 & 8.26@xmath62 0.05 & 3.82@xmath62 0.04 & 0.69@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & no & + 041901.2 + 280248 & kpno-12 & 13.97@xmath62 0.06 & 13.61@xmath62 0.06 & 13.23@xmath62 0.08 & 12.75@xmath62 0.08&@xmath8 10.13 & @xmath8 1.74 & @xmath8 -0.54 & & & & no & no & + 041901.9 + 282233 & v410 tau x - ray 5a & 9.64@xmath62 0.05 & 9.55@xmath62 0.05 & 9.43@xmath62 0.05 & 9.39@xmath62 0.05 & 8.88@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 1.59 & @xmath8 -1.28 & & yes & yes & no & no & + 041912.8 + 282933 & fq tau ab & 8.78@xmath62 0.05 & 8.42@xmath62 0.05 & 8.12@xmath62 0.05 & 7.41@xmath62 0.05 & 4.85@xmath62 0.04 & 2.16@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041915.8 + 290626 & bp tau & 7.27@xmath62 0.05 & 6.90@xmath62 0.05 & 6.65@xmath62 0.05 & 5.71@xmath62 0.05 & 2.52@xmath62 0.04 & 0.71@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041926.2 + 282614 & v819 tau & 8.20@xmath62 0.05 & 8.29@xmath62 0.05 & 8.11@xmath62 0.05 & 8.06@xmath62 0.05 & 6.29@xmath62 0.05 & & & & yes & yes & no & no & + 041935.4 + 282721 & fr tau & 9.42@xmath62 0.05 & 8.93@xmath62 0.05 & 8.25@xmath62 0.05 & 7.27@xmath62 0.05 & 4.84@xmath62 0.04 & 3.14@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041941.2 + 274948 & lkca 7 ab & 8.11@xmath62 0.05 & 8.11@xmath62 0.05 & 8.04@xmath62 0.05 & 7.99@xmath62 0.05 & 7.75@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.94 & & & no & no & no & no & + 041942.5 + 271336 & iras04166 + 2706 & 12.84@xmath62 0.06 & 11.32@xmath62 0.05 & 10.49@xmath62 0.06 & 9.75@xmath62 0.06 & 2.93@xmath62 0.04 & -1.92@xmath62 0.22 & -4.53@xmath62 0.34 & yes & & yes
faint&yes
faint & yes & + 041958.4 + 270957 & iras04169 + 2702 & 8.41@xmath62 0.05 & 7.15@xmath62 0.05 & 6.29@xmath62 0.05 & 5.33@xmath62 0.05 & 0.66@xmath62 0.04&@xmath6 -2.30 & -5.40@xmath62 0.34 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042025.5 + 270035 & j04202555 + 2700355 & 10.99@xmath62 0.05 & 10.77@xmath62 0.05 & 10.44@xmath62 0.06 & 9.74@xmath62 0.05 & 6.13@xmath62 0.04 & 2.49@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes&yes faint & yes & yes & + 042039.1 + 271731 & 2mass j04203918 + 2717317 & 9.42@xmath62 0.05 & 9.39@xmath62 0.05 & 9.35@xmath62 0.05 & 9.29@xmath62 0.05 & 8.83@xmath62 0.10&@xmath8 1.50 & & & no & no & no & no & + 042107.9 + 270220 & cfht-19 & 7.54@xmath62 0.05 & 6.66@xmath62 0.05 & 6.01@xmath62 0.05 & 5.10@xmath62 0.05 & 1.61@xmath62 0.04 & -1.18@xmath62 0.22&@xmath6 -3.27 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & c + 042110.3 + 270137 & iras04181 + 2654b & 9.03@xmath62 0.05 & 8.24@xmath62 0.05 & 7.60@xmath62 0.05 & 6.70@xmath62 0.05 & 2.69@xmath62 0.04 & -0.47@xmath62 0.22&@xmath6 -3.97 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & b c + 042111.4 + 270109 & iras04181 + 2654a & 8.60@xmath62 0.05 & 7.56@xmath62 0.05 & 6.71@xmath62 0.05 & 5.71@xmath62 0.05 & 1.64@xmath62 0.04 & -1.04@xmath62 0.22 & -4.21@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & b + 042134.5 + 270138 & j04213459 + 2701388 & 9.86@xmath62 0.05 & 9.65@xmath62 0.05 & 9.35@xmath62 0.05 & 8.98@xmath62 0.05 & 7.18@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.64 & & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042146.3 + 265929 & cfht-10 & 11.54@xmath62 0.05 & 11.32@xmath62 0.05 & 11.05@xmath62 0.06 & 10.45@xmath62 0.06 & 7.26@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.45 & & & yes & no&yes faint & yes & + 042154.5 + 265231 & j04215450 + 2652315 & 13.22@xmath62 0.06 & 13.12@xmath62 0.06 & 12.90@xmath62 0.07 & 12.80@xmath62 0.08 & 10.50@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 1.66 & & & yes faint & no & no & no & + 042155.6 + 275506 & de tau & 7.07@xmath62 0.05 & 6.73@xmath62 0.05 & 6.40@xmath62 0.05 & 5.78@xmath62 0.05 & 2.58@xmath62 0.04 & -0.19@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042157.4 + 282635 & ry tau&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 3.60@xmath62 0.05&@xmath6 3.52 & @xmath6 0.45 & @xmath6 -2.30 & -4.24@xmath62 0.34 & & & & & & + 042158.8 + 281806 & hd283572 & 6.86@xmath62 0.05 & 6.86@xmath62 0.05 & 6.81@xmath62 0.05 & 6.78@xmath62 0.05 & 6.76@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.24 & & & no & no & no & no & + 042200.6 + 265732 & fs tau b & 9.66@xmath62 0.05 & 8.40@xmath62 0.05 & 7.23@xmath62 0.05 & 5.95@xmath62 0.05 & 1.58@xmath62 0.04 & -0.68@xmath62 0.22&@xmath6 -4.14 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & b c + 042202.1 + 265730 & fs tau aab & 6.75@xmath62 0.05 & 6.30@xmath62 0.05 & 5.81@xmath62 0.05 & 4.99@xmath62 0.05 & 1.33@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.05 & & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042203.1 + 282538 & lkca 21 & 8.26@xmath62 0.05 & 8.22@xmath62 0.05 & 8.14@xmath62 0.05 & 8.06@xmath62 0.05 & 8.06@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 1.23 & & & no & no & no & no & + 042216.4 + 254911 & cfht-14 & 11.48@xmath62 0.05 & 11.34@xmath62 0.05 & 11.28@xmath62 0.06 & 11.23@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.51 & @xmath8 1.16 & & & & & no & no & + 042216.7 + 265457 & cfht-21 & 7.77@xmath62 0.05 & 7.26@xmath62 0.05 & 6.85@xmath62 0.05 & 6.30@xmath62 0.05 & 3.29@xmath62 0.04 & 1.18@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042224.0 + 264625 & 2mass j04222404 + 2646258 & 9.52@xmath62 0.05 & 9.40@xmath62 0.05 & 9.34@xmath62 0.05 & 9.33@xmath62 0.05 & 9.07@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 1.56 & & & no & no & no & no & + 042307.7 + 280557 & iras04200 + 2759 & 8.43@xmath62 0.05 & 7.81@xmath62 0.05 & 7.28@xmath62 0.05 & 6.44@xmath62 0.05 & 3.23@xmath62 0.04 & 0.76@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042339.1 + 245614 & ft tau & 7.93@xmath62 0.05 & 7.46@xmath62 0.05 & 7.19@xmath62 0.05 & 6.29@xmath62 0.05 & 3.15@xmath62 0.04 & 0.28@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042426.4 + 264950 & cfht-9 & 11.16@xmath62 0.05 & 10.88@xmath62 0.05 & 10.51@xmath62 0.06 & 9.83@xmath62 0.05 & 6.78@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.77 & & & yes&yes faint & yes & yes & + 042444.5 + 261014 & iras04216 + 2603 & 8.08@xmath62 0.05 & 7.57@xmath62 0.05 & 7.14@xmath62 0.05 & 6.32@xmath62 0.05 & 3.53@xmath62 0.04 & 0.16@xmath62 0.22 & -2.47@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042445.0 + 270144 & j1 - 4423 & 10.21@xmath62 0.05 & 10.15@xmath62 0.05 & 10.06@xmath62 0.06 & 10.11@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.49 & @xmath8 1.05 & & & & & no & no & + 042449.0 + 264310 & rxj0424.8 & 7.73@xmath62 0.05 & 7.70@xmath62 0.05 & 7.69@xmath62 0.05 & 7.65@xmath62 0.05 & 7.40@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.02 & & & no & no & no & no & + 042457.0 + 271156 & ip tau & 7.77@xmath62 0.05 & 7.45@xmath62 0.05 & 7.24@xmath62 0.05 & 6.60@xmath62 0.05 & 3.48@xmath62 0.04 & 0.74@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042517.6 + 261750 & j1 - 4872 ab & 8.21@xmath62 0.05 & 8.20@xmath62 0.05 & 8.08@xmath62 0.05 & 8.06@xmath62 0.05 & 7.77@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 1.10 & & & no & no & no & no & + 042629.3 + 262413 & kpno-3 & 11.41@xmath62 0.05 & 10.99@xmath62 0.05 & 10.49@xmath62 0.06 & 9.72@xmath62 0.05 & 6.86@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.09 & & & yes&yes faint & yes & yes & + 042630.5 + 244355 & j04263055 + 2443558 & 12.57@xmath62 0.05 & 12.21@xmath62 0.06 & 11.76@xmath62 0.06 & 11.08@xmath62 0.06 & 8.87@xmath62 0.15&@xmath8 1.09 & & & yes & no & no & yes & + 042653.5 + 260654 & fv tau ab&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.23@xmath62 0.05 & 4.56@xmath62 0.05 & 1.54@xmath62 0.04 & -0.45@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & & & + 042654.4 + 260651 & fv tau / c ab & 8.01@xmath62 0.05 & 7.58@xmath62 0.05 & 7.05@xmath62 0.05 & 6.29@xmath62 0.05 & 3.88@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.72 & @xmath8 -1.64 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042656.2 + 244335 & iras04239 + 2436 & 7.61@xmath62 0.05 & 6.32@xmath62 0.05 & 5.38@xmath62 0.05 & 4.50@xmath62 0.05&@xmath6 0.45 & -2.25@xmath62 0.22 & -4.63@xmath62 0.34 & & & & yes & yes & + 042657.3 + 260628 & kpno-13 & 8.75@xmath62 0.05 & 8.33@xmath62 0.05 & 7.99@xmath62 0.06 & 7.35@xmath62 0.05 & 5.32@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.93 & @xmath8 -2.25 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042702.6 + 260530 & dg tau b & 8.77@xmath62 0.05 & & 5.88@xmath62 0.05 & 5.24@xmath62 0.05 & 0.78@xmath62 0.04 & -2.24@xmath62 0.22 & -5.12@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes & yes & & & b + 042702.8 + 254222 & df tau ab&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.08@xmath62 0.05 & 4.50@xmath62 0.05 & 2.19@xmath62 0.04 & 0.70@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & & & + 042704.6 + 260616 & dg tau a&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 4.67@xmath62 0.05 & 3.55@xmath62 0.05&@xmath6 0.45 & @xmath6 -2.30 & @xmath6 -4.46 & & & & & & b c + 042727.9 + 261205 & kpno-4 & 12.57@xmath62 0.05 & 12.37@xmath62 0.06 & 12.21@xmath62 0.06 & 12.08@xmath62 0.06 & 10.66@xmath62 0.28&@xmath8 1.05 & & & yes & no & no & no & + 042745.3 + 235724 & cfht-15 & 13.24@xmath62 0.06 & 13.15@xmath62 0.06 & 13.25@xmath62 0.07 & 13.05@xmath62 0.10&@xmath8 10.55 & @xmath8 1.06 & & & & & no & no & + 042757.3 + 261918 & iras04248 + 2612 ab & 9.83@xmath62 0.06 & 9.10@xmath62 0.05 & 8.28@xmath62 0.05 & 7.10@xmath62 0.05 & 2.27@xmath62 0.04 & -1.52@xmath62 0.22 & -4.39@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042838.9 + 265135 & ldn 1521f - irs & 15.33@xmath62 0.08 & 14.25@xmath62 0.07 & 13.45@xmath62 0.10 & 12.04@xmath62 0.07 & 6.16@xmath62 0.04 & 0.57@xmath62 0.22 & -4.28@xmath62 0.34 & yes & & yes
faint & no & no & + 042842.6 + 271403 & j04284263 + 2714039 ab & 9.76@xmath62 0.05 & 9.53@xmath62 0.05 & 9.21@xmath62 0.05 & 8.83@xmath62 0.05 & 6.21@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.88 & & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042900.6 + 275503 & j04290068 + 2755033 & 12.30@xmath62 0.05 & 11.99@xmath62 0.05 & 11.60@xmath62 0.06 & 10.92@xmath62 0.06 & 8.06@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 0.88 & & & yes & no & no & yes & + 042904.9 + 264907 & iras04260 + 2642 & 10.08@xmath62 0.05 & 9.40@xmath62 0.05 & 8.83@xmath62 0.05 & 8.07@xmath62 0.05 & 3.60@xmath62 0.04 & 0.06@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042920.7 + 263340 & j1 - 507 & 8.56@xmath62 0.05 & 8.55@xmath62 0.05 & 8.47@xmath62 0.05 & 8.46@xmath62 0.05 & 8.29@xmath62 0.10&@xmath8 1.04 & & & no & no & no & no & + 042921.6 + 270125 & iras04263 + 2654 & 8.06@xmath62 0.05 & 7.67@xmath62 0.05 & 7.31@xmath62 0.05 & 6.69@xmath62 0.05 & 3.41@xmath62 0.04 & 1.11@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042923.7 + 243300 & gv tau ab&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & @xmath6 3.49 & @xmath6 3.52 & @xmath6 0.45 & @xmath6 -2.30 & @xmath6 -1.49 & & & & & & c d + 042929.7 + 261653 & fw tau abc & 9.09@xmath62 0.05 & 9.01@xmath62 0.05 & 8.88@xmath62 0.05 & 8.88@xmath62 0.05 & 7.52@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.07 & & & yes & yes & no & no & + 042930.0 + 243955 & iras04264 + 2433 & 10.21@xmath62 0.05 & 9.43@xmath62 0.05 & 8.60@xmath62 0.05 & 6.72@xmath62 0.05 & 1.12@xmath62 0.04 & -1.37@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8
-1.94 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042941.5 + 263258 & dh tau ab & 7.63@xmath62 0.05 & 7.33@xmath62 0.05 & 7.20@xmath62 0.05 & 6.86@xmath62 0.05 & 3.37@xmath62 0.04 & 0.82@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042942.4 + 263249 & di tau ab & 8.21@xmath62 0.05 & 8.22@xmath62 0.05 & 8.14@xmath62 0.05 & 8.11@xmath62 0.05 & & @xmath8 0.72 & & & & & no & no & + 042945.6 + 263046 & kpno-5 & 11.05@xmath62 0.05 & 11.02@xmath62 0.05 & 10.94@xmath62 0.06 & 10.83@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.71 & @xmath8 0.90 & & & & & no & no & + 042951.5 + 260644 & iq tau & 6.81@xmath62 0.05 & 6.37@xmath62 0.05 & 6.07@xmath62 0.05 & 5.53@xmath62 0.05 & 2.82@xmath62 0.04 & 0.32@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042959.5 + 243307 & cfht-20 & 9.02@xmath62 0.05 & 8.55@xmath62 0.05 & 8.32@xmath62 0.05 & 7.84@xmath62 0.05 & 4.91@xmath62 0.04 & 2.06@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043007.2 + 260820 & kpno-6 & 13.12@xmath62 0.06 & 12.77@xmath62 0.06 & 12.42@xmath62 0.06 & 11.58@xmath62 0.06 & 9.20@xmath62 0.19&@xmath8 1.01 & & & yes faint & no & no & yes & + 043023.6 + 235912 & cfht-16 & 13.23@xmath62 0.06 & 13.15@xmath62 0.06 & 13.04@xmath62 0.08 & 12.99@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 10.54 & @xmath8 1.00 & & & & & no & no & + 043029.6 + 242645 & fx tau ab & 7.22@xmath62 0.05 & 6.96@xmath62 0.05 & 6.69@xmath62 0.05 & 5.97@xmath62 0.05 & 3.03@xmath62 0.04 & 1.09@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043044.2 + 260124 & dk tau ab&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.52@xmath62 0.05 & 4.78@xmath62 0.05 & 1.85@xmath62 0.04 & 0.08@xmath62 0.22 & 0.57@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & & & + 043050.2 + 230008 & iras04278 + 2253&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & @xmath6 3.49 & @xmath6 3.52 & @xmath6 0.45 & -1.87@xmath62 0.22 & -3.88@xmath62 0.34 & & & & & & + 043051.3 + 244222 & zz tau ab & 8.08@xmath62 0.05 & 7.90@xmath62 0.05 & 7.61@xmath62 0.05 & 6.94@xmath62 0.05 & 4.53@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.72 & @xmath8 -4.46 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & b + 043051.7 + 244147 & zz tau irs & 8.11@xmath62 0.05 & 7.38@xmath62 0.05 & 6.73@xmath62 0.05 & 5.78@xmath62 0.05 & 2.01@xmath62 0.04 & -0.99@xmath62 0.22 & -3.61@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & b + 043057.1 + 255639 & kpno-7 & 12.62@xmath62 0.05 & 12.28@xmath62 0.05 & 11.99@xmath62 0.06 & 11.25@xmath62 0.06 & 8.62@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 1.23 & & & yes & no & no & yes & + 043114.4 + 271017 & jh56 & 8.72@xmath62 0.05 & 8.75@xmath62 0.05 & 8.66@xmath62 0.05 & 8.60@xmath62 0.05 & 6.76@xmath62 0.02&@xmath8 0.75 & & & yes & yes & no & no & + 043119.0 + 233504 & j04311907 + 2335047 & 11.66@xmath62 0.05 & 11.53@xmath62 0.05 & 11.56@xmath62 0.06 & 11.46@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 10.59 & @xmath8 0.86 & & & & & no & no & + 043123.8 + 241052 & v927 tau ab & 8.52@xmath62 0.05 & 8.47@xmath62 0.05 & 8.38@xmath62 0.05 & 8.38@xmath62 0.05 & 8.19@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 0.91 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043126.6 + 270318 & cfht-13 & 12.90@xmath62 0.06 & 12.75@xmath62 0.06 & 12.72@xmath62 0.07 & 12.70@xmath62 0.07 & 10.72@xmath62 0.29&@xmath8 0.68 & & & yes & no & no & no & + 043150.5 + 242418 & hk tau ab & 7.71@xmath62 0.05 & 7.35@xmath62 0.05 & 7.10@xmath62 0.05 & 6.58@xmath62 0.05 & 2.31@xmath62 0.04 & -0.81@xmath62 0.22 & -3.02@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043158.4 + 254329 & j1 - 665 & 9.35@xmath62 0.05 & 9.29@xmath62 0.05 & 9.24@xmath62 0.05 & 9.22@xmath62 0.05 & 9.04@xmath62 0.17&@xmath8 1.08 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043203.2 + 252807 & j04320329 + 2528078 & 10.30@xmath62 0.05 & 10.20@xmath62 0.05 & 10.13@xmath62 0.06 & 10.09@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.67 & @xmath8 1.03 & & & & & no & no & + 043215.4 + 242859 & haro6 - 13&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.49@xmath62 0.05 & 4.85@xmath62 0.05 & 0.88@xmath62 0.04 & -1.43@xmath62 0.22 & -4.02@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes & yes & & & + 043217.8 + 242214 & cfht-7 ab & 9.98@xmath62 0.05 & 9.87@xmath62 0.05 & 9.76@xmath62 0.05 & 9.72@xmath62 0.05 & 9.30@xmath62 0.28&@xmath8 0.86 & & & yes & no & no & no & + 043218.8 + 242227 & v928 tau ab & 7.86@xmath62 0.05 & 7.82@xmath62 0.05 & 7.72@xmath62 0.05 & 7.64@xmath62 0.05 & 7.54@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 0.84 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043223.2 + 240301 & j04322329 + 2403013 & 10.89@xmath62 0.05 & 10.83@xmath62 0.05 & 10.79@xmath62 0.06 & 10.67@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.82 & @xmath8 0.91 & & & & & no & no & + 043230.5 + 241957 & fy tau & 7.18@xmath62 0.05 & 6.76@xmath62 0.05 & 6.50@xmath62 0.05 & 5.99@xmath62 0.05 & 3.67@xmath62 0.04 & & & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043231.7 + 242002 & fz tau&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.27@xmath62 0.05 & 4.58@xmath62 0.05 & 2.06@xmath62 0.04 & 0.31@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & & & + 043232.0 + 225726 & iras04295 + 2251 & 8.63@xmath62 0.05 & 7.72@xmath62 0.05 & 6.83@xmath62 0.05 & 5.32@xmath62 0.05 & 1.40@xmath62 0.04 & -1.32@xmath62 0.22 & -3.93@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043243.0 + 255231 & uz tau aab&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.63@xmath62 0.05 & 4.79@xmath62 0.05 & 1.54@xmath62 0.04 & -0.69@xmath62 0.22 & -2.15@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & & & b + 043249.1 + 225302 & jh112 & 7.41@xmath62 0.05 & 7.12@xmath62 0.05 & 6.83@xmath62 0.05 & 5.89@xmath62 0.05 & 2.53@xmath62 0.04 & 0.72@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043250.2 + 242211 & cfht-5 & 10.46@xmath62 0.05 & 10.27@xmath62 0.05 & 10.09@xmath62 0.06 & 10.07@xmath62 0.06 & 9.56@xmath62 0.29&@xmath8 1.16 & @xmath8 -1.44 & & yes & no & no & no & + 043301.9 + 242100 & mho-8 & 9.32@xmath62 0.05 & 9.21@xmath62 0.05 & 9.14@xmath62 0.05 & 9.09@xmath62 0.05 & 8.92@xmath62 0.15&@xmath8 0.88 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043306.2 + 240933 & gh tau ab & 7.08@xmath62 0.05 & 6.77@xmath62 0.05 & 6.50@xmath62 0.05 & 6.03@xmath62 0.05 & 3.17@xmath62 0.04 & 0.43@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043306.6 + 240954 & v807 tau ab&@xmath6 6.62 & 6.21@xmath62 0.05 & 5.96@xmath62 0.05 & 5.57@xmath62 0.05 & 2.96@xmath62 0.04 & 0.36@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & & + 043307.8 + 261606 & kpno-14 & 9.78@xmath62 0.05 & 9.67@xmath62 0.06 & 9.60@xmath62 0.05 & 9.58@xmath62 0.05 & 9.04@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 1.44 & @xmath8 -1.91 & & yes&yes faint & no & no & + 043309.4 + 224648 & cfht-12 & 10.86@xmath62 0.05 & 10.63@xmath62 0.05 & 10.34@xmath62 0.06 & 9.95@xmath62 0.06 & 8.25@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 1.16 & & & yes&yes faint & yes & yes & + 043310.0 + 243343 & v830 tau & 8.41@xmath62 0.05 & 8.41@xmath62 0.05 & 8.37@xmath62 0.05 & 8.32@xmath62 0.05 & 8.14@xmath62 0.08&@xmath8 1.03 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043314.3 + 261423 & iras04301 + 2608 & 12.05@xmath62 0.05 & 11.72@xmath62 0.05 & 11.29@xmath62 0.06 & 9.54@xmath62 0.05 & 3.28@xmath62 0.04 &
1.12@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.95 & yes & yes&yes
faint&yes faint & yes & + 043316.5 + 225320 & iras04302 + 2247 & 10.29@xmath62 0.05 & 9.88@xmath62 0.05 & 9.72@xmath62 0.05 & 9.71@xmath62 0.06 & 3.57@xmath62 0.04 & -1.88@xmath62 0.22 & -4.51@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes&yes faint & no & no & + 043319.0 + 224634 & iras04303 + 2240&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 4.77@xmath62 0.05 & 3.73@xmath62 0.05 & 1.43@xmath62 0.04 & -0.11@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & & & + 043334.0 + 242117 & gi tau & 6.87@xmath62 0.05 & 6.31@xmath62 0.05 & 5.79@xmath62 0.05 & 5.12@xmath62 0.05 & 2.15@xmath62 0.04 & & & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043334.5 + 242105 & gk tau&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.79@xmath62 0.05 & 5.14@xmath62 0.05 & 1.70@xmath62 0.04 & -0.23@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & & & + 043336.7 + 260949 & is tau ab & 7.85@xmath62 0.05 & 7.46@xmath62 0.05 & 6.94@xmath62 0.05 & 6.03@xmath62 0.05 & 3.65@xmath62 0.04 &
2.08@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.83 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043339.0 + 252038 & dl tau & 6.95@xmath62 0.05 & 6.37@xmath62 0.05 & 5.92@xmath62 0.05 & 5.13@xmath62 0.05 & 2.19@xmath62 0.04 & -0.25@xmath62 0.22 & -2.44@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043342.9 + 252647 & j04334291 + 2526470 & 12.76@xmath62 0.06 & 12.63@xmath62 0.06 & 12.52@xmath62 0.07 & 12.47@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 11.05 & @xmath8 1.43 & & & & & no & no & + 043352.0 + 225030 & ci tau & 6.99@xmath62 0.05 & 6.53@xmath62 0.05 & 6.17@xmath62 0.05 & 5.33@xmath62 0.05 & 2.37@xmath62 0.04 & -0.80@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043352.5 + 225626 & 2mass j04335252 + 2256269 & 8.79@xmath62 0.05 & 8.71@xmath62 0.05 & 8.63@xmath62 0.05 & 8.60@xmath62 0.05 & 8.32@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 1.41 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043354.7 + 261327 & it tau ab & 7.35@xmath62 0.05 & 6.98@xmath62 0.05 & 6.63@xmath62 0.05 & 6.05@xmath62 0.05 & 3.53@xmath62 0.04 & 0.83@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.28 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043410.9 + 225144 & jh108 & 9.30@xmath62 0.05 & 9.27@xmath62 0.05 & 9.19@xmath62 0.05 & 9.17@xmath62 0.05 & 8.88@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 1.15 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043415.2 + 225030 & cfht-1 & 11.23@xmath62 0.05 & 11.10@xmath62 0.05 & 10.98@xmath62 0.06 & 11.02@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.94 & @xmath8 1.00 & & & & & no & no & + 043439.2 + 250101 & wa tau 1 & 7.83@xmath62 0.05 & 7.79@xmath62 0.05 & 7.75@xmath62 0.05 & 7.73@xmath62 0.05 & 7.67@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 0.85 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043455.4 + 242853 & aa tau & 7.29@xmath62 0.05 & 6.84@xmath62 0.05 & 6.44@xmath62 0.05 & 5.65@xmath62 0.05 & 2.81@xmath62 0.04 & -0.14@xmath62 0.22 & -2.47@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043508.5 + 231139 & cfht-11 & 11.19@xmath62 0.05 & 11.12@xmath62 0.05 & 11.04@xmath62 0.06 & 10.99@xmath62 0.06 & 10.23@xmath62 0.20&@xmath8 0.37 & & & yes & no & no & no & + 043520.2 + 223214 & ho tau & 8.90@xmath62 0.05 & 8.52@xmath62 0.05 & 8.38@xmath62 0.05 & 7.73@xmath62 0.05 & 4.85@xmath62 0.04 & 2.43@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043520.8 + 225424 & ff tau ab & 8.45@xmath62 0.05 & 8.44@xmath62 0.05 & 8.42@xmath62 0.05 & 8.36@xmath62 0.05 & 8.15@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 1.26 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043527.3 + 241458 & dn tau & 7.47@xmath62 0.05 & 7.16@xmath62 0.05 & 6.78@xmath62 0.05 & 6.03@xmath62 0.05 & 3.04@xmath62 0.04 & 0.44@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 0.04 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043535.3 + 240819 & iras04325 + 2402 a & 9.93@xmath62 0.05 & 9.28@xmath62 0.05 & 9.06@xmath62 0.05 & 8.54@xmath62 0.05 & 1.43@xmath62 0.04 & -2.26@xmath62 0.22 & -5.07@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043540.9 + 241108 & coku tau/3 ab & 7.43@xmath62 0.05 & 6.95@xmath62 0.05 & 6.48@xmath62 0.05 & 5.64@xmath62 0.05 & 3.31@xmath62 0.04 &
1.33@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -2.14 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043541.8 + 223411 & kpno-8 & 11.64@xmath62 0.05 & 11.54@xmath62 0.05 & 11.43@xmath62 0.06 & 11.46@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 10.71 & @xmath8 1.12 & & & & & no & no & + 043545.2 + 273713 & j04354526 + 2737130 & 13.18@xmath62 0.06 & 13.11@xmath62 0.06 & 12.93@xmath62 0.07 & 13.07@xmath62 0.11&@xmath8 10.62 & @xmath8 1.47 & & & & & no & no & + 043547.3 + 225021 & hq tau&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.61@xmath62 0.05 & 4.47@xmath62 0.05 & 1.65@xmath62 0.04 & -0.18@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & yes & yes & & & + 043551.0 + 225240 & kpno-15 & 9.79@xmath62 0.05 & 9.72@xmath62 0.05 & 9.66@xmath62 0.05 & 9.65@xmath62 0.05 & 9.71@xmath62 0.11&@xmath8 0.72 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043551.4 + 224911 & kpno-9 & 13.63@xmath62 0.06 & 13.52@xmath62 0.06 & 13.70@xmath62 0.12 & 13.41@xmath62 0.17&@xmath8 10.93 & @xmath8 0.86 & & & & & no & no & + 043552.0 + 225503 & 2mass j04355209 + 2255039 & 9.56@xmath62 0.05 & 9.52@xmath62 0.05 & 9.39@xmath62 0.05 & 9.35@xmath62 0.06 & & @xmath8 0.50 & & & & & no & no & + 043552.7 + 225423 & hp tau ab&@xmath6 6.62 & 6.20@xmath62 0.05 & 5.65@xmath62 0.05 & 4.88@xmath62 0.05 & 1.49@xmath62 0.04 & -1.93@xmath62 0.22 & -4.48@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes & yes & yes & & + 043552.8 + 225058 & 2mass j04355286 + 2250585 & 9.46@xmath62 0.05 & 9.36@xmath62 0.05 & 9.28@xmath62 0.05 & 9.29@xmath62 0.05 & 9.10@xmath62 0.13&@xmath8 0.93 & & & no & no & no & no & + 043553.4 + 225408 & hp tau / g3 ab & 8.62@xmath62 0.05 & 8.60@xmath62 0.05 & 8.51@xmath62 0.05 & 8.47@xmath62 0.06 & & @xmath8 -0.03 & @xmath8 -2.19 & & & & no & no & + 043554.1 + 225413 & hp tau / g2 & 7.19@xmath62 0.05 & 7.17@xmath62 0.05 & 7.11@xmath62 0.05 & 7.02@xmath62 0.05 & & @xmath8 -0.03 & @xmath8 -2.35 & & & & no & no & + 043556.8 + 225436 & haro 6 - 28 ab & 8.61@xmath62 0.05 & 8.18@xmath62 0.05 & 7.85@xmath62 0.05 & 7.14@xmath62 0.05 & 4.39@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.70 & @xmath8 -2.24 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043558.9 + 223835 & 2mass j04355892 + 2238353 & 8.15@xmath62 0.05 & 8.19@xmath62 0.05 & 8.10@xmath62 0.05 & 8.06@xmath62 0.05 & & @xmath8 1.12 & & & & & no & no & + 043610.3 + 215936 & j04361030 + 2159364 & 13.02@xmath62 0.06 & 12.74@xmath62 0.06 & 12.41@xmath62 0.06 & 11.74@xmath62 0.06 & 9.01@xmath62 0.18&@xmath8 1.07 & & & yes faint & no & no & yes & + 043610.3 + 225956 & cfht-2 & 11.63@xmath62 0.05 & 11.43@xmath62 0.05 & 11.34@xmath62 0.06 & 11.32@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 10.61 & @xmath8 1.48 & @xmath8 -3.51 & & & & no & no & + 043619.0 + 254258 & lkca 14 & 8.52@xmath62 0.05 & 8.54@xmath62 0.05 & 8.51@xmath62 0.05 & 8.45@xmath62 0.05 & 8.24@xmath62 0.10&@xmath8 0.99 & @xmath8 -0.98 & & no & no & no & no & + 043638.9 + 225811 & cfht-3 & 11.79@xmath62 0.05 & 11.69@xmath62 0.05 & 11.59@xmath62 0.06 & 11.57@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 8.55 & @xmath8 1.12 & & & & & no & no & + 043649.1 + 241258 & hd 283759 & 8.32@xmath62 0.05 & 8.25@xmath62 0.05 & 8.30@xmath62 0.05 & 8.20@xmath62 0.05 & 6.64@xmath62 0.05 & 1.10@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 0.51 & yes & yes & yes & no & no & + 043800.8 + 255857 & itg 2 & 9.60@xmath62 0.05 & 9.47@xmath62 0.05 & 9.37@xmath62 0.05 & 9.31@xmath62 0.05 & 9.17@xmath62 0.19&@xmath8 0.96 & @xmath8 -2.05 & & no & no & no & no & + 043814.8 + 261139 & j04381486 + 2611399 & 10.80@xmath62 0.05 & 10.21@xmath62 0.05 & 9.64@xmath62 0.05 & 8.92@xmath62 0.05 & 4.98@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.80 & @xmath8 -1.11 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043815.6 + 230227 & rxj0438.2 + 2302 & 9.69@xmath62 0.05 & 9.69@xmath62 0.05 & 9.64@xmath62 0.05 & 9.60@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 9.35 & @xmath8 1.08 & & & & & no & no & + 043821.3 + 260913 & gm tau & 9.27@xmath62 0.05 & 8.77@xmath62 0.05 & 8.43@xmath62 0.05 & 7.81@xmath62 0.05 & 5.33@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.97 & @xmath8 -1.31 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043828.5 + 261049 & do tau&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.26@xmath62 0.05 & 4.77@xmath62 0.05 & 1.09@xmath62 0.04 & -1.37@xmath62 0.22 & -3.92@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes & yes & & & + 043835.2 + 261038 & hv tau ab & 7.65@xmath62 0.05 & 7.59@xmath62 0.05 & 7.49@xmath62 0.05 & 7.46@xmath62 0.05 & & @xmath8 0.72 & @xmath8 -3.65 & & & & no & no & + 043835.4 + 261041 & hv tau c & 11.33@xmath62 0.14 & 10.74@xmath62 0.05 & 10.22@xmath62 0.05 & 9.38@xmath62 0.04 & 3.52@xmath62 0.04 & -0.09@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & no & yes & yes & yes & e + 043858.5 + 233635 & j0438586 + 2336352 & 10.51@xmath62 0.05 & & 9.84@xmath62 0.05 & & 6.39@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.85 & & & yes & & & & + 043901.6 + 233602 & j0439016 + 2336030 & 9.76@xmath62 0.05 & & 9.18@xmath62 0.05 & & 6.28@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 2.30 & & & yes & & & & + 043903.9 + 254426 & cfht-6 & 10.75@xmath62 0.05 & 10.45@xmath62 0.05 & 10.02@xmath62 0.06 & 9.14@xmath62 0.05 & 6.51@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.47 & @xmath8 -0.54 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & c + 043906.3 + 233417 & j0439064 + 2334179 & 10.73@xmath62 0.05 & & 10.62@xmath62 0.06 & & @xmath8 9.32 & & & & & & & & + 043913.8 + 255320 & iras04361 + 2547 ab & 8.00@xmath62 0.05 & 7.08@xmath62 0.05 & 6.46@xmath62 0.05 & 4.82@xmath62 0.05&@xmath6 0.45 & @xmath6 -2.30 & @xmath6 -4.73 & & & & yes & yes & + 043917.7 + 222103 & lkca 15 & 7.61@xmath62 0.05 & 7.41@xmath62 0.05 & 7.23@xmath62 0.05 & 6.64@xmath62 0.05 & 3.11@xmath62 0.04 & -0.40@xmath62 0.22 & -2.47@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043920.9 + 254502 & gn tau b & 6.99@xmath62 0.05 & 6.58@xmath62 0.05 & 6.21@xmath62 0.05 & 5.42@xmath62 0.05 & 2.82@xmath62 0.04 &
1.59@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -2.43 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043935.1 + 254144 & iras04365 + 2535 & 7.22@xmath62 0.05&@xmath6 6.10 & 4.87@xmath62 0.05 & 4.16@xmath62 0.05&@xmath6 0.45 & -2.17@xmath62 0.22&@xmath6 -3.82 & & & & & & c + 043947.4 + 260140 & cfht-4 & 9.54@xmath62 0.05 & 9.07@xmath62 0.05 & 8.60@xmath62 0.05 & 7.78@xmath62 0.05 & 4.95@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.91 & @xmath8 -4.76 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043953.9 + 260309 & iras 04368 + 2557 & 13.39@xmath62 0.11 & 11.15@xmath62 0.08 & 10.09@xmath62 0.07 & 9.73@xmath62 0.08 & 2.69@xmath62 0.04&@xmath6 -2.30 & @xmath6 -4.40 & & & yes faint&yes
faint & yes & c d + 043955.7 + 254502 & ic2087 irs&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & @xmath6 3.49 & @xmath6 3.52 & @xmath6 0.45 & -2.17@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -5.41 & & & & & & c + 044001.7 + 255629 & cfht-17 ab & 10.15@xmath62 0.05 & 9.96@xmath62 0.05 & 9.87@xmath62 0.05 & 9.82@xmath62 0.06 & 9.10@xmath62 0.18&@xmath8 0.74 & @xmath8 -2.26 & & yes&yes faint & no & no & + 044008.0 + 260525 & iras 04370 + 2559 & 7.96@xmath62 0.05 & 7.38@xmath62 0.05 & 6.93@xmath62 0.05 & 5.93@xmath62 0.05 & 2.43@xmath62 0.04 & 0.75@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.78 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044039.7 + 251906 & j04403979 + 2519061
ab & 9.84@xmath62 0.05 & 9.68@xmath62 0.06 & 9.62@xmath62 0.05 & 9.57@xmath62 0.05 & 7.55@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.00 & @xmath8 -2.43 & & yes&yes faint & no & no & + 044049.5 + 255119 & jh223 & 8.90@xmath62 0.05 & 8.60@xmath62 0.05 & 8.24@xmath62 0.05 & 7.74@xmath62 0.05 & 5.13@xmath62 0.04 & 2.20@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 0.93 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044104.2 + 255756 & haro 6 - 32 & 9.66@xmath62 0.05 & 9.56@xmath62 0.06 & 9.49@xmath62 0.05 & 9.46@xmath62 0.06 & 9.59@xmath62 0.33&@xmath8 0.70 & @xmath8 -0.83 & & no & no & no & no & + 044104.7 + 245106 & iw tau ab & 8.13@xmath62 0.05 & 8.15@xmath62 0.05 & 8.08@xmath62 0.05 & 8.03@xmath62 0.05 & 7.97@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 1.08 & & & no & no & no & no & + 044108.2 + 255607 & itg 33 a & 9.68@xmath62 0.05 & 9.05@xmath62 0.05 & 8.49@xmath62 0.05 & 7.73@xmath62 0.05 & 4.60@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.67 & @xmath8 0.73 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044110.7 + 255511 & itg 34 & 10.78@xmath62 0.05 & 10.35@xmath62 0.05 & 9.92@xmath62 0.06 & 9.22@xmath62 0.05 & 6.48@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.74 & @xmath8 -1.25 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044112.6 + 254635 & iras04381 + 2540 & 9.15@xmath62 0.05 & 7.76@xmath62 0.05 & 6.72@xmath62 0.05 & 5.75@xmath62 0.05 & 1.43@xmath62 0.04 & -1.92@xmath62 0.22 & -4.33@xmath62 0.34 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044138.8 + 255626 & iras04385 + 2550 & 8.24@xmath62 0.05 & 7.74@xmath62 0.05 & 7.13@xmath62 0.05 & 6.05@xmath62 0.05 & 1.86@xmath62 0.04 & -0.90@xmath62 0.22 & -2.73@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044148.2 + 253430 & j04414825 + 2534304 & 11.43@xmath62 0.05 & 10.93@xmath62 0.05 & 10.50@xmath62 0.06 & 9.54@xmath62 0.05 & 6.33@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.02 & @xmath8 -4.57 & & yes&yes faint & yes & yes & + 044205.4 + 252256 & lkha332/g2 ab & 7.99@xmath62 0.05 & 7.87@xmath62 0.05 & 7.74@xmath62 0.05 & 7.70@xmath62 0.05 & 7.18@xmath62 0.05 & & @xmath8 -4.69 & & yes & yes & no & no & b + 044207.3 + 252303 & lkha332/g1 ab & 7.65@xmath62 0.05 & 7.62@xmath62 0.05 & 7.53@xmath62 0.05 & 7.51@xmath62 0.06 & & @xmath8 0.51 & @xmath8 -2.34 & & & & no & no & b + 044207.7 + 252311 & v955 tau ab & 6.99@xmath62 0.05 & 6.58@xmath62 0.05 & 6.15@xmath62 0.05 & 5.40@xmath62 0.05 & 2.76@xmath62 0.04 & -0.56@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -2.07 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & b + 044221.0 + 252034 & cida-7 & 9.51@xmath62 0.05 & 9.11@xmath62 0.05 & 8.65@xmath62 0.05 & 7.79@xmath62 0.05 & 4.20@xmath62 0.04 & 1.13@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.18 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044237.6 + 251537 & dp tau & 7.57@xmath62 0.05 & 6.90@xmath62 0.05 & 6.34@xmath62 0.05 & 5.37@xmath62 0.05 & 1.90@xmath62 0.04 &
0.54@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.70 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044303.0 + 252018 & go tau & 8.90@xmath62 0.05 & 8.64@xmath62 0.05 & 8.21@xmath62 0.05 & 7.42@xmath62 0.05 & 4.30@xmath62 0.04 & 1.03@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 0.53 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044427.1 + 251216 & iras04414 + 2506 & 9.56@xmath62 0.05 & 9.00@xmath62 0.05 & 8.36@xmath62 0.05 & 7.43@xmath62 0.05 & 4.25@xmath62 0.04 & 1.76@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 0.05 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 044642.6 + 245903 & rxj04467 + 2459 & 10.05@xmath62 0.05 & 9.97@xmath62 0.05 & 9.87@xmath62 0.06 & 9.90@xmath62 0.05 & 9.53@xmath62 0.26&@xmath8 0.96 & & & no & no & no & no & + rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 041159.7 + 294236 & & & 10.91@xmath62 0.05 & & 10.22@xmath62 0.06 & 9.88@xmath62 0.35&@xmath8 1.16 & @xmath8 1.33 & & yes & no & yes & & + 041332.3 + 291726 & & 13.04@xmath62 0.06 & 12.96@xmath62 0.06 & 12.79@xmath62 0.07 & 11.96@xmath62 0.07 & 8.19@xmath62 0.09 & 2.45@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 0.08 & no & yes & no & no & no & + 041339.4 + 292114 & & 12.80@xmath62 0.06 & 11.94@xmath62 0.05 & 11.15@xmath62 0.06 & 10.35@xmath62 0.06 & 7.54@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.20 & @xmath8 1.46 & & no & no&yes faint & yes & + 041427.3 + 255130 & & 13.01@xmath62 0.06 & 12.95@xmath62 0.06 & 12.97@xmath62 0.07 & 12.22@xmath62 0.08 & 9.31@xmath62 0.21&@xmath8 1.33 & @xmath8 -0.25 & & yes & no & no & no & + 041535.6 + 284741 & & 13.20@xmath62 0.06 & 12.26@xmath62 0.06 & 11.33@xmath62 0.06 & 10.34@xmath62 0.06 & 5.65@xmath62 0.04 & 2.05@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.53 & yes & no&yes
faint&yes faint & yes & + 041539.1 + 281858 & & 8.77@xmath62 0.05 & 8.52@xmath62 0.05 & 8.17@xmath62 0.05 & 7.50@xmath62 0.05 & 4.23@xmath62 0.04 & 1.08@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -2.26 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes &
+ 041542.7 + 290959 & & 9.20@xmath62 0.05 & 9.18@xmath62 0.05 & 9.05@xmath62 0.05 & 9.00@xmath62 0.06 & 4.51@xmath62 0.04 & -0.16@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -2.01 & yes & yes & yes & no & no & + 041557.9 + 274617 & & 9.72@xmath62 0.05 & 9.40@xmath62 0.05 & 9.06@xmath62 0.05 & 8.37@xmath62 0.05 & 5.74@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.22 & @xmath8 -1.58 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041604.8 + 261801 & & 12.27@xmath62 0.05 & 11.50@xmath62 0.05 & 10.73@xmath62 0.06 & 9.85@xmath62 0.06 & 6.53@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.30 & @xmath8 -1.27 & & no&yes faint&yes faint & yes & + 041605.8 + 281426 & & 16.29@xmath62 0.08 & 15.41@xmath62 0.09 & 14.31@xmath62 0.15 & 13.27@xmath62 0.12 & 8.79@xmath62 0.14 & 2.36@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.49 & yes
faint & & no & no & no & + 041624.5 + 290858 & hd 281820 & 9.49@xmath62 0.05 & 9.49@xmath62 0.05 & 9.45@xmath62 0.05 & 9.44@xmath62 0.05 & 8.28@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 1.25 & @xmath8 -0.98 & & yes & yes & no & no & + 041706.2 + 264413 & & 11.08@xmath62 0.05 & 11.12@xmath62 0.05 & 11.10@xmath62 0.06 & 11.00@xmath62 0.06 & 8.92@xmath62 0.16&@xmath8 0.96 & @xmath8 0.18 & & yes & no & no & no & + 041801.1 + 283526 & & 11.15@xmath62 0.05 & 11.12@xmath62 0.05 & 11.05@xmath62 0.06 & 10.94@xmath62 0.06 & 9.10@xmath62 0.13&@xmath8 1.54 & @xmath8 -0.22 & & yes & no & no & no & + 041803.3 + 244009 & & 10.08@xmath62 0.05 & 10.07@xmath62 0.05 & 10.03@xmath62 0.06 & 9.83@xmath62 0.05 & 7.21@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.10 & @xmath8 -0.39 & & yes&yes faint & no & no & + 041810.5 + 284447 & & 12.42@xmath62 0.05 & 11.73@xmath62 0.05 & 10.94@xmath62 0.06 & 10.06@xmath62 0.06 & 6.42@xmath62 0.05 & 1.84@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 2.04 & yes & no & no&yes faint & yes & + 041810.7 + 251957 & [ gbm90 ] l1506 1 & 8.10@xmath62 0.05 & 7.76@xmath62 0.05 & 7.27@xmath62 0.05 & 6.33@xmath62 0.05 & 4.42@xmath62 0.04 &
1.72@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.45 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & f + 041823.2 + 251928 & 2masx 04182321 + 2519281 & 11.79@xmath62 0.05 & 11.09@xmath62 0.05 & 10.44@xmath62 0.06 & 9.57@xmath62 0.05 & 6.18@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.18 & @xmath8 -1.08 & & yes
faint&yes faint & yes & + 041831.2 + 282617 & & 14.00@xmath62 0.06 & 13.24@xmath62 0.06 & 12.66@xmath62 0.07 & 11.82@xmath62 0.06 & 6.60@xmath62 0.05 & 2.40@xmath62 0.22 & & yes & & yes
faint & no & no & + 041858.0 + 235031 & & 12.68@xmath62 0.06 & 11.85@xmath62 0.05 & 11.07@xmath62 0.06 & 10.22@xmath62 0.06 & 7.27@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.20 & @xmath8 0.33 & & no & no&yes faint & yes & + 041859.0 + 255740 & & 13.08@xmath62 0.06 & 12.06@xmath62 0.06 & 11.10@xmath62 0.06 & 9.90@xmath62 0.06 & 5.96@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.25 & @xmath8 1.82 &
faint&yes faint & yes & + 041936.2 + 265256 & & 12.26@xmath62 0.05 & 12.22@xmath62 0.06 & 12.17@xmath62 0.06 & 12.09@xmath62 0.06 & 9.27@xmath62 0.15&@xmath8 1.55 & @xmath8 -0.29 & & yes & no & no & no & + 041940.4 + 270100 & & 12.81@xmath62 0.06 & 11.95@xmath62 0.05 & 11.15@xmath62 0.06 & 10.25@xmath62 0.06 & 6.69@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.63 & @xmath8 0.34 & & no & no&yes faint & yes & + 041941.4 + 271607 & hh390 star & 11.25@xmath62 0.05 & 10.42@xmath62 0.05 & 9.87@xmath62 0.05 & 9.32@xmath62 0.05 & 3.23@xmath62 0.04 & -0.79@xmath62 0.22 & -3.01@xmath62 0.22 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 041946.5 + 271255 & & 10.17@xmath62 0.05 & 9.47@xmath62 0.05 & 8.75@xmath62 0.05 & 8.14@xmath62 0.05 & 4.05@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.16 & @xmath8 -1.12 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042016.1 + 282132 & & 11.86@xmath62 0.05 & 11.48@xmath62 0.05 & 11.13@xmath62 0.06 & 10.57@xmath62 0.06 & 8.23@xmath62 0.08&@xmath8 1.07 & @xmath8 -0.28 & & yes & no&yes faint & yes & + 042021.4 + 281349 & & 12.82@xmath62 0.06 & 12.42@xmath62 0.06 & 12.13@xmath62 0.06 & 11.64@xmath62 0.06 & 8.86@xmath62 0.12 & 2.54@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.75 & yes
faint & no & no & no & yes & + 042025.8 + 281923 & & 9.19@xmath62 0.05 & 8.52@xmath62 0.05 & 7.92@xmath62 0.05 & 7.12@xmath62 0.05 & 3.78@xmath62 0.04 & 1.92@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.07 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes &
+ 042025.8 + 281641 & & 9.45@xmath62 0.05 & 9.39@xmath62 0.05 & 9.31@xmath62 0.05 & 9.31@xmath62 0.05 & 8.81@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 1.13 & @xmath8 -0.54 & & no & yes & no & no & + 042026.0 + 280408 & & 9.40@xmath62 0.05 & 9.03@xmath62 0.05 & 8.61@xmath62 0.05 & 7.02@xmath62 0.05 & 3.26@xmath62 0.04 & 0.85@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 0.42 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042109.3 + 275036 & & 9.96@xmath62 0.05 & 9.78@xmath62 0.05 & 9.60@xmath62 0.05 & 9.22@xmath62 0.05 & 7.17@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.53 & @xmath8 -1.65 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 042110.9 + 255259 & v412 tau&@xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.37@xmath62 0.05 & 5.17@xmath62 0.05 & 4.33@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.21 & @xmath8 0.02 & & yes & yes & & & + 042135.6 + 253835 & & 12.22@xmath62 0.05 & 12.18@xmath62 0.06 & 12.15@xmath62 0.06 & 11.50@xmath62 0.06 & 9.44@xmath62 0.25&@xmath8 1.01 & @xmath8 -0.28 & & yes & no & no & no & + 042146.3 + 242505 & & 7.73@xmath62 0.05 & 7.80@xmath62 0.05 & 7.57@xmath62 0.05 & 7.43@xmath62 0.05 & 6.71@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.19 & @xmath8 1.12 & & yes & yes & no & no & + 042151.3 + 265720 & & 12.80@xmath62 0.06 & 12.63@xmath62 0.06 & 12.50@xmath62 0.07 & 11.79@xmath62 0.21&@xmath8 11.00 & @xmath8 1.49 & @xmath8 -0.85 & & & & no & yes & + 042200.9 + 235430 & & 7.74@xmath62 0.05 & 7.85@xmath62 0.05 & 7.66@xmath62 0.05 & 7.53@xmath62 0.05 & 7.01@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.24 & @xmath8 0.68 & & no & yes & no & no & + 042212.9 + 254659 & & 12.58@xmath62 0.05 & 11.84@xmath62 0.05 & 11.20@xmath62 0.06 & 10.36@xmath62 0.06 & 7.24@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.21 & @xmath8 -0.14 & & no & no&yes faint & yes & + 042215.6 + 265706 & 2mass j04221568 + 2657060 & 11.12@xmath62 0.05 & 10.55@xmath62 0.05 & 10.20@xmath62 0.06 & 9.75@xmath62 0.05 & 3.81@xmath62 0.04 & -0.51@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.95 & yes & yes&yes faint & yes & yes & + 042220.9 + 264248 & & 13.63@xmath62 0.06 & 12.59@xmath62 0.06 & 11.64@xmath62 0.06 & 10.56@xmath62 0.06 & 6.95@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.51 & @xmath8 -3.74 & & no & no&yes faint & no & + 042247.8 + 264553 & iras04196 + 2638 & 8.07@xmath62 0.05 & 7.55@xmath62 0.05 & 7.14@xmath62 0.05 & 6.28@xmath62 0.05 & 3.23@xmath62 0.04 & 0.96@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.49 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & e g + 042254.6 + 282354 & nsv 1577 & 7.39@xmath62 0.05 & 7.38@xmath62 0.05 & 7.32@xmath62 0.05 & 7.23@xmath62 0.05 & 4.81@xmath62 0.04 &
0.96@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.02 & yes & yes & yes & no & no & + 042306.0 + 280119 & j04230607 + 2801194 & 10.62@xmath62 0.05 & 10.31@xmath62 0.05 & 9.94@xmath62 0.06 & 9.34@xmath62 0.05 & 6.43@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.64 & @xmath8 0.31 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & g + 042318.2 + 264115 & j04231822 + 2641156 & 9.47@xmath62 0.05 & 9.15@xmath62 0.05 & 8.81@xmath62 0.05 & 8.10@xmath62 0.05 & 4.56@xmath62 0.04 & 1.82@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.38 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & g + 042325.9 + 250354 & & 10.01@xmath62 0.05 & 9.91@xmath62 0.05 & 9.64@xmath62 0.05 & 9.61@xmath62 0.05 & 9.42@xmath62 0.20&@xmath8 1.19 & @xmath8 -1.06 & & yes & no & no & no & + 042335.3 + 250302 & fu tau & 8.40@xmath62 0.05 & 7.92@xmath62 0.05 & 7.36@xmath62 0.05 & 6.71@xmath62 0.05 & 4.60@xmath62 0.04 &
2.39@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.56 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & g + 042339.0 + 251855 & & 15.86@xmath62 0.08 & 15.60@xmath62 0.08 & 14.67@xmath62 0.22 & 13.59@xmath62 0.15 & 8.59@xmath62 0.09 & 2.47@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.94 & yes
faint & & no & no & no & + 042350.1 + 264006 & fs 116 & 10.69@xmath62 0.05 & 10.58@xmath62 0.05 & 10.47@xmath62 0.06 & 10.16@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.96 & @xmath8 1.14 & @xmath8 -1.04 & & & & yes & no & + 042356.0 + 242705 & hd 283663 & 9.42@xmath62 0.05 & 9.39@xmath62 0.05 & 9.34@xmath62 0.05 & 9.32@xmath62 0.05 & 8.30@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 1.09 & @xmath8 -0.71 & & yes & yes & no & no & + 042358.6 + 244742 & & 10.91@xmath62 0.05 & 10.88@xmath62 0.05 & 10.86@xmath62 0.06 & 10.24@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.92 & @xmath8 1.28 & @xmath8 0.82 & & & & yes & no & + 042420.9 + 263051 & j04242090 + 2630511 & 11.83@xmath62 0.05 & 11.45@xmath62 0.05 & 11.00@xmath62 0.06 & 10.40@xmath62 0.06 & 7.46@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.13 & @xmath8 -3.45 & & yes & no&yes faint & yes & g + 042423.2 + 265008 & & 9.46@xmath62 0.05 & 9.40@xmath62 0.05 & 9.32@xmath62 0.05 & 9.21@xmath62 0.05 & 7.87@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 0.82 & @xmath8 -0.57 & & yes & yes & no & no & + 042515.5 + 282927 & & 9.89@xmath62 0.05 & 9.79@xmath62 0.05 & 9.71@xmath62 0.05 & 9.71@xmath62 0.05 & 9.31@xmath62 0.20&@xmath8 0.81 & @xmath8 -0.24 & & yes & no & no & no & + 042518.6 + 255535 & & @xmath6 6.62 & 6.61@xmath62 0.05 & 6.39@xmath62 0.05 & 6.24@xmath62 0.05 & 5.62@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.05 & @xmath8 0.28 & & yes & yes & no & & f + 042519.1 + 234716 & hd 27923 & 7.64@xmath62 0.05 & 7.63@xmath62 0.05 & 7.64@xmath62 0.05 & 7.65@xmath62 0.05 & 7.01@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.03 & @xmath8 -1.61 & & no & yes & no & no & + 042558.8 + 273701 & hd 283637 & 9.13@xmath62 0.05 & 9.11@xmath62 0.05 & 9.04@xmath62 0.05 & 9.06@xmath62 0.05 & 8.43@xmath62 0.10&@xmath8 1.01 & @xmath8 -2.68 & & no & yes & no & no & + 042653.3 + 255858 & & 15.87@xmath62 0.07 & 15.25@xmath62 0.08 & 14.02@xmath62 0.13 & 12.28@xmath62 0.08 & 7.80@xmath62 0.07 & 1.57@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 0.21 & yes
faint & & no & no & no & + 042721.0 + 240829 & & 13.30@xmath62 0.14 & 13.08@xmath62 0.06 & 13.11@xmath62 0.08 & 12.64@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 9.71 & @xmath8 1.00 & @xmath8 0.59 & & & & no & yes & + 042728.1 + 262323 & & 12.75@xmath62 0.08 & 12.58@xmath62 0.06 & 12.51@xmath62 0.06 & 11.83@xmath62 0.20 & 10.17@xmath62 0.26&@xmath8 0.92 & @xmath8 -2.33 & & yes & no & no & yes & + 042730.2 + 244123 & 2masx 04273023 + 2441232 & 12.86@xmath62 0.07 & 12.87@xmath62 0.07 & 13.06@xmath62 0.14 & 14.34@xmath62 2.95 & 6.68@xmath62 0.05 &
0.41@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.55 & yes & yes&yes faint & no & no & + 042810.4 + 243553 & & 13.55@xmath62 0.06 & 12.53@xmath62 0.06 & 11.63@xmath62 0.06 & 10.54@xmath62 0.08 & 7.49@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.05 & & & & no&yes faint & no & + 042857.4 + 243607 & & 10.40@xmath62 0.05 & 10.38@xmath62 0.05 & 10.25@xmath62 0.06 & 10.20@xmath62 0.06 & 8.88@xmath62 0.14&@xmath8 1.10 & @xmath8 1.85 & & yes & no & no & no & + 042902.9 + 243140 & & 7.78@xmath62 0.05 & 7.68@xmath62 0.05 & 7.50@xmath62 0.05 & 7.46@xmath62 0.05 & 7.40@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.05 & @xmath8 -1.56 & & yes & no & no & no & + 042905.2 + 261535 & 2masx 04290517 + 2615358 & 13.30@xmath62 0.06 & 13.14@xmath62 0.06 & 13.15@xmath62 0.08 & 12.62@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 11.04 & @xmath8 1.15 & @xmath8 -1.27 & & & & no & yes & + 042916.2 + 285627 & hd 283629 & 9.20@xmath62 0.05 & 9.19@xmath62 0.05 & 9.16@xmath62 0.06 & 9.11@xmath62 0.05 & 8.55@xmath62 0.11&@xmath8 1.09 & & & no & yes & no & no & + 042920.8 + 274207 & iras 04262 + 2735 & 6.67@xmath62 0.05 & 6.59@xmath62 0.05 & 6.22@xmath62 0.05 & 5.04@xmath62 0.05 & 3.02@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.01 & @xmath8 -0.85 & & yes & yes & yes & no & e + 042932.0 + 243059 & & 10.41@xmath62 0.05 & 9.27@xmath62 0.05 & 8.32@xmath62 0.05 & 7.32@xmath62 0.05 & 3.91@xmath62 0.04 & 1.19@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.43 & yes&yes faint & yes & yes & yes & + 042936.0 + 243555 & j04293606 + 2435556 & 8.04@xmath62 0.05 & 7.72@xmath62 0.05 & 7.47@xmath62 0.05 & 6.98@xmath62 0.05 & 4.19@xmath62 0.04 &
1.21@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.75 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & g + 042949.9 + 284253 & & 13.25@xmath62 0.06 & 12.57@xmath62 0.06 & 11.82@xmath62 0.06 & 10.79@xmath62 0.06 & 7.46@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.12 & @xmath8 -0.70 & & no & no & no & yes & + 043004.7 + 283306 & & 9.47@xmath62 0.05 & 9.51@xmath62 0.05 & 9.48@xmath62 0.05 & 9.37@xmath62 0.05 & 8.63@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 0.95 & @xmath8 -2.55 & & no & yes & no & no & + 043024.1 + 281916 & & 6.92@xmath62 0.05 & 6.92@xmath62 0.05 & 6.75@xmath62 0.05 & 6.55@xmath62 0.05 & 5.84@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.06 & @xmath8 -0.49 & & yes & yes & no & no & f + 043034.2 + 252427 & & 13.64@xmath62 0.06 & 13.56@xmath62 0.06 & 13.42@xmath62 0.09 & 13.38@xmath62 0.13 & 9.46@xmath62 0.27&@xmath8 0.75 & @xmath8 -0.93 & & yes faint & no & no & no & + 043042.8 + 274329 & & 7.07@xmath62 0.05 & 7.06@xmath62 0.05 & 6.79@xmath62 0.05 & 6.74@xmath62 0.05 & 6.17@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.95 & @xmath8 -1.02 & & yes & yes & no & no & f + 043044.7 + 263308 & & 7.33@xmath62 0.05 & 7.35@xmath62 0.05 & 7.29@xmath62 0.05 & 7.21@xmath62 0.05 & 6.91@xmath62 0.05 & 2.29@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.10 & yes & no & no & no & no & + 043131.4 + 230025 & & 10.31@xmath62 0.05 & 10.34@xmath62 0.05 & 10.31@xmath62 0.06 & 9.92@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.41 & @xmath8 0.99 & @xmath8 -0.57 & & & & yes & no & + 043133.1 + 292856 & & 9.56@xmath62 0.05 & 9.48@xmath62 0.05 & 9.49@xmath62 0.05 & 9.47@xmath62 0.05 & 8.82@xmath62 0.14&@xmath8 0.99 & @xmath8 1.65 & & no & yes & no & no & + 043141.2 + 293922 & & 12.76@xmath62 0.06 & 12.31@xmath62 0.06 & 12.65@xmath62 0.07 & 11.70@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 10.63 & @xmath8 1.05 & @xmath8 0.57 & & & & no & yes & + 043145.0 + 285908 & & 10.96@xmath62 0.05 & 10.96@xmath62 0.05 & 10.93@xmath62 0.06 & 10.81@xmath62 0.06 & 8.76@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 1.14 & @xmath8 -0.70 & & yes & no & no & no & + 043213.6 + 251746 & gsc 01833 - 00754 & 9.65@xmath62 0.05 & 9.63@xmath62 0.05 & 9.59@xmath62 0.05 & 9.57@xmath62 0.05 & 8.95@xmath62 0.15&@xmath8 1.02 & @xmath8 -0.49 & & no&yes faint & no & no & + 043214.6 + 223742 & & 13.86@xmath62 0.06 & 12.70@xmath62 0.06 & 11.64@xmath62 0.06 & 10.52@xmath62 0.06 & 7.32@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.02 & @xmath8 0.24 & & & no&yes faint & no & + 043224.1 + 225108 & & 10.04@xmath62 0.05 & 9.69@xmath62 0.05 & 9.28@xmath62 0.05 & 8.49@xmath62 0.05 & 6.11@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.43 & @xmath8 0.63 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043225.1 + 264732 & & 11.08@xmath62 0.05 & 11.06@xmath62 0.05 & 11.01@xmath62 0.06 & 10.48@xmath62 0.06 & 10.18@xmath62 0.27&@xmath8 1.00 & @xmath8 -1.43 & & yes & no&yes faint & no & + 043228.1 + 271122 & & 6.81@xmath62 0.05 & 6.79@xmath62 0.05 & 6.57@xmath62 0.05 & 6.42@xmath62 0.05 & 5.91@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.72 & @xmath8 -0.59 & & yes & yes & no & no & f + 043244.2 + 230224 & & 14.10@xmath62 0.06 & 13.25@xmath62 0.06 & 12.12@xmath62 0.06 & 10.52@xmath62 0.06 & 6.63@xmath62 0.05 & 2.51@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.12 & yes & no & no & no & no & + 043249.3 + 225308 & & 8.49@xmath62 0.05 & 8.18@xmath62 0.05 & 7.77@xmath62 0.05 & 7.05@xmath62 0.06 & & & @xmath8 -0.86 & & & & yes & yes & + 043256.4 + 222342 & hd 284481 & 9.06@xmath62 0.05 & 9.05@xmath62 0.05 & 9.01@xmath62 0.05 & 9.03@xmath62 0.05 & 8.45@xmath62 0.11&@xmath8 1.03 & @xmath8 -1.74 & & no & yes & no & no & + 043304.2 + 292149 & hd 282276 & 7.99@xmath62 0.05 & 7.92@xmath62 0.05 & 7.83@xmath62 0.06 & 7.17@xmath62 0.06 & 3.02@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 -0.35 & -4.73@xmath62 0.34 & & yes & yes & yes & no & + 043312.6 + 291250 & hd 282277 & 8.73@xmath62 0.05 & 8.68@xmath62 0.05 & 8.70@xmath62 0.05 & 8.64@xmath62 0.05 & 7.98@xmath62 0.08&@xmath8 0.95 & @xmath8 0.29 & & no & yes & no & no & + 043316.6 + 262724 & & 13.16@xmath62 0.06 & 12.41@xmath62 0.06 & 11.72@xmath62 0.06 & 10.79@xmath62 0.06 & 7.02@xmath62 0.03&@xmath8 1.16 & @xmath8 -4.62 & & no & no & no & yes & + 043326.2 + 224529 & 2mass j04332621 + 2245293 & 9.56@xmath62 0.05 & 9.46@xmath62 0.05 & 9.38@xmath62 0.05 & 9.33@xmath62 0.05 & 8.46@xmath62 0.08 &
1.94@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.45 & yes faint & yes & yes & no & no & + 043339.0 + 222720 & & 9.97@xmath62 0.05 & 9.75@xmath62 0.05 & 9.55@xmath62 0.05 & 9.19@xmath62 0.05 & 4.85@xmath62 0.04 & 1.11@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.43 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & + 043341.8 + 223836 & & 11.10@xmath62 0.05 & 11.01@xmath62 0.05 & 11.01@xmath62 0.06 & 10.51@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.86 & @xmath8 1.08 & @xmath8 -0.71 & & & & yes faint & no & + 043344.6 + 261500 & & 8.79@xmath62 0.05 & 8.24@xmath62 0.05 & 7.80@xmath62 0.05 & 7.15@xmath62 0.05 & 4.56@xmath62 0.04 & 1.85@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.48 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & f + 043349.5 + 291528 & iras 04306 + 2909 & 12.66@xmath62 0.06 & 11.45@xmath62 0.05 & 10.12@xmath62 0.06 & 8.62@xmath62 0.05 & 4.12@xmath62 0.04 & 0.60@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.70 & yes&yes faint & yes&yes faint & yes & e + 043352.4 + 261254 & j04335245 + 2612548 & 13.24@xmath62 0.06 & 12.70@xmath62 0.06 & 12.24@xmath62 0.06 & 11.46@xmath62 0.06 & 8.44@xmath62 0.11&@xmath8 1.07 & @xmath8 -0.75 & & yes faint & no & no & yes & g + 043359.2 + 293636 & & 7.16@xmath62 0.05 & 7.24@xmath62 0.05 & 7.05@xmath62 0.05 & 6.94@xmath62 0.05 & 6.38@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.84 & @xmath8 -1.17 & & yes & yes & no & no & + 043419.5 + 265210 & & 11.84@xmath62 0.05 & 11.76@xmath62 0.05 & 11.68@xmath62 0.06 & 11.46@xmath62 0.06 & 8.88@xmath62 0.14&@xmath8 0.95 & @xmath8 -0.60 & & yes & no & no & no & + 043419.8 + 232649 & hd 284530 & 8.22@xmath62 0.05 & 8.22@xmath62 0.05 & 8.18@xmath62 0.05 & 8.18@xmath62 0.05 & 7.46@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 0.67 & @xmath8 -0.97 & & no & yes & no & no & + 043435.4 + 264406 & & @xmath6 6.62 & 6.64@xmath62 0.05 & 6.45@xmath62 0.05 & 6.22@xmath62 0.05 & 4.84@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.07 & @xmath8 -0.91 & & yes & yes & yes & & f + 043452.5 + 240244 & & 11.49@xmath62 0.05 & 11.46@xmath62 0.05 & 11.40@xmath62 0.06 & 11.05@xmath62 0.06 & 8.81@xmath62 0.18&@xmath8 1.42 & @xmath8 -1.43 & & yes & no&yes faint & no & + 043456.9 + 225835 & 2mass j04345693 + 2258358 & 9.05@xmath62 0.05 & 9.06@xmath62 0.05 & 8.95@xmath62 0.05 & 8.93@xmath62 0.05 & 8.31@xmath62 0.08&@xmath8 1.26 & @xmath8 -0.89 & & no & yes & no & no & + 043521.3 + 255510 & & 13.24@xmath62 0.06 & 12.48@xmath62 0.06 & 11.71@xmath62 0.06 & 10.69@xmath62 0.06 & 7.27@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 1.08 & @xmath8 -1.87 & & no & no & no & yes & + 043542.0 + 225222 & 2mass j04354203 + 2252226 & 9.69@xmath62 0.05 & 9.56@xmath62 0.05 & 9.50@xmath62 0.05 & 9.50@xmath62 0.05 & 8.98@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 1.07 & @xmath8 -0.55 & & yes&yes faint & no & no & + 043557.6 + 225357 & j04355760 + 2253574 & 13.06@xmath62 0.05 & 12.87@xmath62 0.06 & 12.43@xmath62 0.06 & 12.35@xmath62 0.08 & 7.13@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.88 & @xmath8 -2.35 & & yes
faint & no & no & + 043559.4 + 223829 & & 12.41@xmath62 0.06 & 11.72@xmath62 0.06 & 10.87@xmath62 0.06 & 9.57@xmath62 0.06 & 5.22@xmath62 0.04 & 2.22@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 2.35 & yes & yes&yes
faint&yes faint & yes & + 043621.4 + 271912 & & 12.62@xmath62 0.05 & 12.62@xmath62 0.06 & 12.56@xmath62 0.06 & 12.38@xmath62 0.07 & 8.11@xmath62 0.08&@xmath8 0.79 & @xmath8 -0.87 & & yes & no & no & no & + 043621.5 + 235116 & j04362151 + 2351165 & 11.78@xmath62 0.05 & 11.53@xmath62 0.05 & 11.12@xmath62 0.06 & 10.55@xmath62 0.06 & 7.74@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 1.06 & @xmath8 -1.09 & & yes & no&yes faint & yes & g + 043636.1 + 265910 & & 11.59@xmath62 0.05 & 11.64@xmath62 0.05 & 11.61@xmath62 0.06 & 10.87@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 10.60 & @xmath8 1.05 & @xmath8 -1.20 & & & & yes faint & no & + 043642.0 + 265339 & & 12.93@xmath62 0.06 & 11.64@xmath62 0.05 & 10.23@xmath62 0.06 & 9.08@xmath62 0.05 & 6.18@xmath62 0.05 & 1.54@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -1.93 & yes & & yes&yes faint & yes & + 043720.8 + 250019 & & 9.73@xmath62 0.05 & 9.72@xmath62 0.06 & 9.66@xmath62 0.05 & 9.63@xmath62 0.05 & 8.84@xmath62 0.15&@xmath8 1.01 & @xmath8 -0.23 & & no&yes faint & no & no & + 043724.8 + 270919 & sv * svs 1085 & 9.45@xmath62 0.05 & 9.30@xmath62 0.05 & 9.07@xmath62 0.05 & 8.73@xmath62 0.05 & 7.32@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.01 & @xmath8 -1.38 & & yes & yes & yes & no & + 043756.7 + 254622 & itg 1 & 12.03@xmath62 0.05 & 11.42@xmath62 0.05 & 10.73@xmath62 0.06 & 9.83@xmath62 0.05 & 7.16@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.67 & @xmath8 -1.17 & & yes&yes faint&yes faint & yes & e g + 043801.9 + 251926 & & 11.87@xmath62 0.05 & 11.76@xmath62 0.05 & 11.58@xmath62 0.06 & 10.98@xmath62 0.06 & 8.82@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 0.88 & @xmath8 -2.12 & & yes & no&yes faint & no & + 043803.6 + 221223 & & 11.46@xmath62 0.05 & 11.47@xmath62 0.05 & 11.46@xmath62 0.06 & 10.81@xmath62 0.06 & 10.85@xmath62 0.33&@xmath8 1.09 & @xmath8 0.43 & & no & no&yes faint & no & + 043816.5 + 261450 & & 9.45@xmath62 0.05 & 9.36@xmath62 0.05 & 9.17@xmath62 0.05 & 9.14@xmath62 0.05 & 9.00@xmath62 0.14&@xmath8 0.67 & @xmath8 -0.30 & & yes & no & no & no & + 043826.7 + 265501 & & 9.80@xmath62 0.05 & 9.81@xmath62 0.05 & 9.77@xmath62 0.05 & 9.78@xmath62 0.05 & 9.05@xmath62 0.15&@xmath8 1.01 & @xmath8 1.08 & & no&yes faint & no & no & + 043905.2 + 233745 & j04390525 + 2337450 & 10.60@xmath62 0.06 & 10.19@xmath62 0.05 & 9.75@xmath62 0.05 & 9.02@xmath62 0.05 & 3.51@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.25 & @xmath8 -1.03 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & g + 043933.6 + 235921 & j04393364 + 2359212 & 9.63@xmath62 0.05 & 9.22@xmath62 0.05 & 8.85@xmath62 0.05 & 7.88@xmath62 0.05 & 5.22@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.92 & @xmath8 -1.92 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & g + 043939.9 + 252034 & jh 225 & 8.60@xmath62 0.05 & 8.60@xmath62 0.05 & 8.50@xmath62 0.05 & 8.53@xmath62 0.05 & 7.66@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 0.74 & @xmath8 -1.50 & & yes & yes & no & no & f + 043943.8 + 271956 & & 11.19@xmath62 0.05 & 11.25@xmath62 0.05 & 11.14@xmath62 0.06 & 10.81@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.99 & & @xmath8 0.47 & & & & yes faint & no & + 043944.8 + 260152 & itg 15 & 8.47@xmath62 0.05 & 8.13@xmath62 0.05 & 7.69@xmath62 0.05 & 7.04@xmath62 0.05 & 3.96@xmath62 0.04 & 1.32@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -2.26 & yes & yes & yes & yes & yes & e g + 044000.6 + 235821 & j04400067 + 2358211 & 10.89@xmath62 0.05 & 10.64@xmath62 0.05 & 10.35@xmath62 0.06 & 9.70@xmath62 0.06 & 6.40@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.78 & @xmath8 1.15 & & yes&yes faint & yes & yes & g + 044022.8 + 243307 & & 13.06@xmath62 0.06 & 12.25@xmath62 0.06 & 11.43@xmath62 0.06 & 10.46@xmath62 0.06 & 6.52@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.83 & @xmath8 -0.91 & & no & no&yes faint & yes & + 044023.0 + 255702 & & 10.68@xmath62 0.05 & 10.63@xmath62 0.05 & 10.57@xmath62 0.06 & 10.43@xmath62 0.06 & 9.36@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 0.92 & @xmath8 -1.37 & & yes & no & no & no & + 044048.4 + 233941 & & 13.52@xmath62 0.06 & & 13.55@xmath62 0.08 & & 9.35@xmath62 0.20&@xmath8 1.12 & @xmath8 -0.74 & & yes
faint & & & & + 044124.6 + 254353 & itg 40 & 10.43@xmath62 0.05 & 9.85@xmath62 0.05 & 9.39@xmath62 0.05 & 8.88@xmath62 0.05 & 5.64@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.95 & @xmath8 -2.01 & & yes & yes & yes & yes & e g + 044125.7 + 254349 & & 13.80@xmath62 0.06 & 12.41@xmath62 0.06 & 11.25@xmath62 0.06 & 10.22@xmath62 0.06 & 6.80@xmath62 0.05 & 2.32@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -2.26 & yes & & no&yes faint & no & + 044200.4 + 235813 & & 14.19@xmath62 0.06 & 13.04@xmath62 0.06 & 11.53@xmath62 0.06 & 9.94@xmath62 0.05 & 5.62@xmath62 0.04 & 1.49@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.12 & yes & no&yes faint&yes faint & no & + 044241.1 + 244117 & ccdm j04427 + 2441ab & 7.61@xmath62 0.05 & 7.55@xmath62 0.05 & 7.54@xmath62 0.05 & 7.52@xmath62 0.05 & 6.90@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.06 & @xmath8 -1.45 & & no & yes & no & no & + 044253.9 + 253709 & & 12.84@xmath62 0.06 & 12.79@xmath62 0.06 & 12.61@xmath62 0.07 & 12.48@xmath62 0.08 & 9.64@xmath62 0.24&@xmath8 1.01 & @xmath8 0.95 & & yes & no & no & no & + 044315.8 + 235358 & & 12.94@xmath62 0.06 & 11.87@xmath62 0.05 & 10.78@xmath62 0.06 & 9.76@xmath62 0.06 & 6.49@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.95 & @xmath8 -0.89 & & no&yes faint&yes faint & yes & + 044325.1 + 255706 & & 9.35@xmath62 0.05 & 9.33@xmath62 0.05 & 9.20@xmath62 0.05 & 9.17@xmath62 0.05 & 8.59@xmath62 0.12&@xmath8 0.87 & @xmath8 -0.81 & & no & yes & no & no & + 044345.3 + 243908 & tyc 1834 - 591 - 1 & 9.49@xmath62 0.05 & 9.46@xmath62 0.05 & 9.42@xmath62 0.05 & 9.43@xmath62 0.05 & 8.31@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 1.04 & @xmath8 0.07 & & yes & yes & no & no & + 044358.3 + 235103 & & 6.85@xmath62 0.05 & 6.73@xmath62 0.05 & 6.23@xmath62 0.05 & 6.19@xmath62 0.05 & 6.10@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 0.81 & @xmath8 0.05 & & no & no & yes & no & + 044518.2 + 242436 & hd 30067 & 7.99@xmath62 0.05 & 8.02@xmath62 0.05 & 7.96@xmath62 0.06 & 7.95@xmath62 0.05 & 7.39@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 0.60 & @xmath8 -0.65 & & no & yes & no & no & + 044539.8 + 251704 & & 8.28@xmath62 0.05 & 8.33@xmath62 0.05 & 8.08@xmath62 0.05 & 8.00@xmath62 0.05 & 7.31@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.02 & @xmath8 -0.35 & & yes & yes & no & no & f + 044550.7 + 254448 & & 12.91@xmath62 0.06 & 11.94@xmath62 0.05 & 11.05@xmath62 0.06 & 10.09@xmath62 0.06 & 6.82@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 1.06 & @xmath8 -1.01 & & no & no&yes faint & yes & + 044555.7 + 261858 & & 10.99@xmath62 0.05 & 11.04@xmath62 0.05 & 10.91@xmath62 0.06 & 10.79@xmath62 0.06 & 9.00@xmath62 0.16 & 2.40@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.43 & yes
faint & yes & no & no & no & + 044557.0 + 244042 & & 13.12@xmath62 0.06 & 12.94@xmath62 0.06 & 12.62@xmath62 0.07 & 12.12@xmath62 0.07&@xmath8 10.06 & @xmath8 0.82 & @xmath8 -0.13 & & & & no & yes & + 044609.6 + 245237 & & 12.78@xmath62 0.06 & 12.69@xmath62 0.06 & 12.53@xmath62 0.07 & 12.43@xmath62 0.07 & 9.19@xmath62 0.21&@xmath8 0.87 & @xmath8 -1.49 & & yes & no & no & no & + 044639.8 + 242526 & & @xmath6 6.62 & @xmath6 6.10 & 5.44@xmath62 0.05 & 5.27@xmath62 0.05 & 4.41@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.10 & @xmath8 0.12 & & yes & yes & & & f + 044644.4 + 262306 & & @xmath6 6.62 & 6.17@xmath62 0.05 & 5.98@xmath62 0.05 & 5.82@xmath62 0.05 & 4.91@xmath62 0.04&@xmath8 1.01 & @xmath8 -3.17 & & yes & yes & no & & + 044650.3 + 243815 & & 13.50@xmath62 0.06 & 13.11@xmath62 0.22 & 13.52@xmath62 0.09 & 13.22@xmath62 0.11 & 10.53@xmath62 0.25&@xmath8 0.88 & @xmath8 0.29 & & yes
faint & no & no & yes & + 044802.3 + 253359 & & 10.05@xmath62 0.05 & 10.06@xmath62 0.05 & 9.92@xmath62 0.06 & 9.90@xmath62 0.06 & 9.33@xmath62 0.21&@xmath8 1.03 & @xmath8 -1.34 & & no&yes faint & no & no & + 044832.3 + 234746 & & 12.89@xmath62 0.06 & 11.95@xmath62 0.05 & 11.05@xmath62 0.06 & 9.93@xmath62 0.06 & 6.30@xmath62 0.05&@xmath8 0.92 & @xmath8 -1.88 & & no&yes
faint&yes faint & yes & + 044857.4 + 255853 & 2masx 04485745 + 2558527 & 13.30@xmath62 0.06 & 13.26@xmath62 0.06 & 12.94@xmath62 0.08 & 12.56@xmath62 0.07 & 9.60@xmath62 0.25&@xmath8 1.00 & @xmath8 -1.03 & & yes faint & no & no & no & + 044900.1 + 241346 & & 14.28@xmath62 0.06 & 13.82@xmath62 0.06 & 13.14@xmath62 0.08 & 10.41@xmath62 0.06 & 6.21@xmath62 0.05 & 1.78@xmath62 0.22&@xmath8 -0.85 & yes & no&yes faint & no & no & + 044913.7 + 252549 & & 13.49@xmath62 0.06 & 12.81@xmath62 0.18 & 13.37@xmath62 0.09 & 11.91@xmath62 0.06&@xmath8 9.24 & @xmath8 0.83 & @xmath8 -1.04 & & & & no & yes & + 044916.3 + 243827 & ccdm j04493 + 2438a & 8.92@xmath62 0.05 & 8.93@xmath62 0.05 & 8.87@xmath62 0.05 & 8.86@xmath62 0.05 & 8.35@xmath62 0.09&@xmath8 0.88 & @xmath8 -0.57 & & no & yes & no & no & + 044941.5 + 254010 & & 12.80@xmath62 0.06 & 12.73@xmath62 0.06 & 12.59@xmath62 0.07 & 12.61@xmath62 0.09 & 9.56@xmath62 0.26&@xmath8 0.76 & & & yes & no & no & no & + lllllllllllll 041314.1 + 281910 & lkca 1 & yso & star & iii & m4 & & 1.3 & -0.3 & @xmath6 2.0e-05 & + 041327.2 + 281624 & anon 1 & yso & star & iii & m0 & & 3.2 & 0.4 & @xmath6 3.8e-05 & + 041353.2 + 281123 & iras04108 + 2803 a & yso & class ii & flat & & & & & & d + 041354.7 + 281132 & iras04108 + 2803 b & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & d + 041357.3 + 291819 & iras04108 + 2910 & yso & class ii & ii & k5e & -201.4 & 4.8 & -0.4 & 0.37 & b c + 041411.8 + 281153 & j04141188 + 2811535 & yso & class ii & ii & m6.25 & & 1.7 & -1.6 & 0.25 & + 041412.2 + 280837 & iras04111 + 2800 g & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & d + 041412.9 + 281212 & v773 tau abc & & & ii & k3 & & 2.8 & 0.9 & 0.047 & + 041413.5 + 281249 & fm tau & yso & class ii & ii & m0 & -99.1 & 2.4 & -0.3 & 0.18 & b + 041414.5 + 282758 & fn tau & yso & class ii & ii & m5 & & 1.6 & -0.2 & 0.22 & + 041417.0 + 281057 & cw tau & & & ii & k3 & -137.9 & 6.9 & 0.6 & 0.22 & b + 041417.6 + 280609 & cida-1 & yso & class ii & ii & m5.5 & & 4.6 & -0.7 & 0.32 & + 041426.2 + 280603 & iras04113 + 2758 a & & & i & m2.5 & & 17.1 & 0.3 & 0.50 & + 041430.5 + 280514 & mho-3 & & embedded & flat & k7 & & 11.3 & 0.3 & 0.17 & + 041447.3 + 264626 & fp tau & yso & class ii & ii & m4 & & 0.8 & -0.4 & 0.083 & + 041447.8 + 264811 & cx tau & yso & class ii & ii & m2.5 & & 1.4 & -0.3 & 0.11 & + 041447.9 + 275234 & lkca 3 ab & yso & star & iii & m1 & & 0.7 & 0.3 & @xmath6 4.3e-05 & + 041449.2 + 281230 & fo tau ab & yso & class ii & ii & m2 & & 3.7 & 0.0 & 0.094 & + 041505.1 + 280846 & cida-2 & yso & star & iii & m4.5 & & 0.6 & -0.5 & @xmath6 8.2e-05 & + 041514.7 + 280009 & kpno-1 & & star & iii & m8.5 & & 1.7 & -2.4 & 0.013 & + 041524.0 + 291043 & j04152409 + 2910434 & & star & iii & m7 & & 1.3 & -1.9 & @xmath6 0.0046 & + 041612.1 + 275638 & j04161210 + 2756385 & yso & class ii & ii & m4.75 & & 4.6 & -0.9 & 0.15 & + 041618.8 + 275215 & j04161885 + 2752155 & & star & iii & m6.25 & & 1.1 & -1.5 & @xmath6 0.0020 & + 041628.1 + 280735 & lkca 4 & yso & star & iii & k7 & & 0.8 & -0.0 & @xmath6 5.7e-05 & + 041639.1 + 285849 & j04163911 + 2858491 & yso & class ii & ii & m5.5 & & 2.3 & -1.4 & 0.082 & + 041733.7 + 282046 & cy tau & yso & class ii & ii & m1 & & 1.7 & -0.2 & 0.076 & + 041738.9 + 283300 & lkca 5 & & & iii & m2 & & 0.2 & -0.5 & @xmath6 5.7e-05 & + 041749.5 + 281331 & kpno-10 & yso & class ii & ii & m5 & & 1.1 & -1.2 & 0.12 & + 041749.6 + 282936 & v410 x - ray 1 & yso & class ii & ii & m2 & & 5.5 & -0.3 & 0.12 & + 041807.9 + 282603 & v410 x - ray 3 & yso & star & iii & m6 & & 0.8 & -1.1 & @xmath6 0.00025 & + 041817.1 + 282841 & v410 anon 13 & yso &
class ii & ii & m5 & & 5.9 & -1.1 & 0.068 & + 041822.3 + 282437 & v410 anon 24 & yso & star & ii & g1 & & 22.5 & 0.1 & @xmath6 5.8e-06 & + 041829.0 + 282619 & v410 anon 25 & yso & star & ii & m1 & & 22.9 & 0.0 & @xmath6 1.2e-05 & + 041830.3 + 274320 & kpno-11 & & star & iii & m5.5 & & 0.0 & -1.3 & @xmath6 0.0018 & + 041831.1 + 282716 & v410 tau abc & yso & star & iii & k3 & & 1.1 & 0.4 & @xmath6 6.5e-05 & + 041831.1 + 281629 & dd tau ab & & & ii & m1 & & 4.3 & 0.1 & 0.30 & + 041831.5 + 281658 & cz tau ab & yso & embedded & ii & m1.5 & & 0.7 & -0.6 & 0.53 & + 041832.0 + 283115 & iras04154 + 2823 & yso & class ii & i & m2.5 & & 19.0 & -0.6 & 0.63 & + 041834.4 + 283030 & v410 x - ray 2 & yso & class ii & flat & m0 & & 21.0 & 0.3 & 0.024 & + 041840.2 + 282424 & v410 x - ray 4 & yso & star & ii & m4 & & 18.0 & -0.1 & @xmath6 6.3e-06 & + 041840.6 + 281915 & v892 tau & & & flat & a6 & -12.7 & 14.3 & 2.0 & 0.089 & + 041841.3 + 282725 & lr1 & yso & class ii & flat & k4.5 & & 24.0 & -0.3 & 0.12 & + 041842.5 + 281849 & v410 x - ray 7 & yso & class ii & ii & m1 & & 10.3 & -0.1 & 0.0092 & + 041845.0 + 282052 & v410 anon 20 & & star & flat & k3 & & 21.6 & -0.6 & @xmath6 0.00022 & + 041847.0 + 282007 & hubble 4 & yso & star & iii & k7 & & 2.5 & 0.4 & @xmath6 6.0e-05 & + 041851.1 + 281433 & kpno-2 & & star & iii & m7.5 & & 0.3 & -2.1 & 0.0096 & + 041851.4 + 282026 & coku tau/1 & yso & embedded & i & k7 & & 6.5 & -0.9 & 0.72 & + 041858.1 + 281223 & iras04158 + 2805 & yso & class ii & flat & m6 & & 7.0 & -1.3 & 0.76 & + 041901.1 + 281942 & v410 x - ray 6 & yso & star & ii & m4.5 & & 2.7 & -0.5 & 0.082 & + 041901.2 + 280248 & kpno-12 & & class ii & ii & m9 & & 1.4 & -2.9 & 0.12 & + 041901.9 + 282233 & v410 tau x - ray 5a & yso & star & iii & m5 & & 5.1 & -0.8 & @xmath6 0.00015 & + 041912.8 + 282933 & fq tau ab & yso & class ii & ii & m2 & & 1.1 & -0.6 & 0.086 & + 041915.8 + 290626 & bp tau & yso & class ii & ii & k7 & & 2.1 & 0.2 & 0.094 & + 041926.2 + 282614 & v819 tau & yso & star & iii & k7 & & 1.9 & 0.0 & 0.0018 & + 041935.4 + 282721 & fr tau & yso & class ii & ii & m5e & -58.9 & 0.0 & -0.9 & 0.17 & c g + 041941.2 + 274948 & lkca 7 ab & yso & star & iii & k7 & & 1.0 & 0.0 & @xmath6 6.1e-05 & + 041942.5 + 271336 & iras04166 + 2706 & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & + 041958.4 + 270957 & iras04169 + 2702 & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & d + 042025.5 + 270035 & j04202555 + 2700355 & yso & class ii & ii & m5.25 & & 2.1 & -1.5 & 0.14 & + 042039.1 + 271731 & 2mass j04203918 + 2717317 & yso & star & iii & & & & & & g + 042107.9 + 270220 & cfht-19 & yso & class ii & i & m5.25 & & 10.3 & -1.0 & 0.83 & + 042110.3 + 270137 & iras04181 + 2654b & yso & class ii & i & & & & & & d + 042111.4 + 270109 & iras04181 + 2654a & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & d + 042134.5 + 270138 & j04213459 + 2701388 & yso & class ii & ii & m5.5 & & 2.7 & -1.0 & 0.029 & + 042146.3 + 265929 & cfht-10 & yso & class ii & ii & m6.25 & & 4.0 & -1.7 & 0.056 & + 042154.5 + 265231 & j04215450 + 2652315 & not yso & star & ii & m8.5 & & 3.3 & -2.4 & 0.012 & + 042155.6 + 275506 & de tau & yso & class ii & ii & m2 & & 2.2 & 0.1 & 0.13 & + 042157.4 + 282635 & ry tau & & & ii & k1 & -16.8 & 4.8 & 1.3 & 0.10 & b + 042158.8 + 281806 & hd283572 & star & star & iii & g5 & & 0.4 & 0.8 & @xmath6 3.0e-05 & + 042200.6 + 265732 &
fs tau b & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & d + 042202.1 + 265730 & fs tau aab & yso & class ii & flat & m0e & -46.8 & 6.9 & 0.0 & 0.36 & b c + 042203.1 + 282538 & lkca 21 & star & star & iii & m3 & & 1.3 & -0.2 & @xmath6 2.9e-05 & + 042216.4 + 254911 & cfht-14 & & star & iii & m7.75 & & 0.4 & -1.8 & @xmath6 0.0030 & + 042216.7 + 265457 & cfht-21 & yso & class ii & ii & m1.25 & & 7.7 & -0.3 & 0.23 & + 042224.0 + 264625 & 2mass j04222404 + 2646258 & yso & star & iii & & & & & & g + 042307.7 + 280557 & iras04200 + 2759 & yso & class ii & flat & m2 & & 8.1 & -0.9 & 0.53 & d + 042339.1 + 245614 & ft tau & yso & class ii & ii & m3e & -254.3 & 3.8 & -0.2 & 0.13 & b c + 042426.4 + 264950 & cfht-9 & yso & class ii & ii & m6.25 & & 0.5 & -1.7 & 0.11 & + 042444.5 + 261014 & iras04216 + 2603 & yso & class ii & ii & m1 & & 3.4 & -0.4 & 0.29 & + 042445.0 + 270144 & j1 - 4423 & & star & iii & m5 & & 0.1 & -1.1 & @xmath6 0.00095 & + 042449.0 + 264310 & rxj0424.8 & yso & star & iii & k1 & & 1.2 & 0.4 & @xmath6 6.1e-05 & + 042457.0 + 271156 & ip tau & yso & class ii & ii & m0 & & 1.9 & -0.2 & 0.10 & + 042517.6 + 261750 & j1 - 4872 ab & yso & star & iii & k7 & & 3.7 & 0.2 & @xmath6 2.6e-05 & + 042629.3 + 262413 & kpno-3 & yso & class ii & ii & m6 & & 1.6 & -1.7 & 0.13 & + 042630.5 + 244355 & j04263055 + 2443558 & yso & class ii & ii & m8.75 & & 0.6 & -2.4 & 0.16 & + 042653.5 + 260654 & fv tau ab & & & ii & k5 & & 8.7 & 0.6 & 0.13 & + 042654.4 + 260651 & fv tau / c ab & yso & class ii & ii & m3.5 & & 5.9 & -0.2 & 0.096 & + 042656.2 + 244335 & iras04239 + 2436 & & embedded & i & & & & & & d + 042657.3 + 260628 & kpno-13 & yso & class ii & ii & m5 & & 4.3 & -0.6 & 0.078 & + 042702.6 + 260530 & dg tau b & & & i & & & & & & + 042702.8 + 254222 & df tau ab & & & ii & m3 & & 2.4 & 0.5 & 0.11 & + 042704.6 + 260616 & dg tau a & & & ii & k5e & -90.7 & 3.2 & 0.5 & 0.20 & b c + 042727.9 + 261205 & kpno-4 & not yso & star & ii & m9.5 & & 2.8 & -2.3 & 0.037 & + 042745.3 + 235724 & cfht-15 & & star & iii & m8.25 & & 0.3 & -2.5 & @xmath6 0.0043 & + 042757.3 + 261918 & iras04248 + 2612 ab & yso & embedded & flat & m5.5 & & 5.8 & -0.6 & 0.55 & + 042838.9 + 265135 & ldn 1521f - irs & yso & contam .
& i & & & & & & + 042842.6 + 271403 & j04284263 + 2714039 ab & yso & class ii & ii & m5.25 & & 3.7 & -1.0 & 0.050 & + 042900.6 + 275503 & j04290068 + 2755033 & yso & class ii & ii & m8.25 & & 0.3 & -2.1 & 0.11 & + 042904.9 + 264907 & iras04260 + 2642 & yso & class ii & i & k6 & & 9.1 & -1.3 & 0.57 & + 042920.7 + 263340 & j1 - 507 & yso & star & iii & m4 & & 0.9 & -0.4 & @xmath6 4.3e-05 & + 042921.6 + 270125 & iras04263 + 2654 & yso & class ii & ii & m6.0 & & 5.9 & -0.3 & 0.094 & + 042923.7 + 243300 & gv tau ab & & & i & mid - k + emiss & -296.0 & 11.9 & 0.3 & @xmath6 0.92 & b c + 042929.7 + 261653 & fw tau abc & yso & star & iii & m4 & & 0.3 & -0.6 & 0.0019 & + 042930.0 + 243955 & iras04264 + 2433 & yso & embedded & i & m1 & & 9.5 & -0.9 & 0.75 & + 042941.5 + 263258 & dh tau ab & yso & star & ii & m1 & & 2.5 & -0.1 & 0.086 & + 042942.4 + 263249 & di tau ab & & star & iii & m0 & & 0.5 & -0.1 & @xmath6 0.0011 & + 042945.6 + 263046 & kpno-5 & & star & iii & m7.5 & & 0.6 & -1.6 & @xmath6 0.0025 & + 042951.5 + 260644 & iq tau & yso & class ii & ii & m0.5 & & 2.9 & 0.1 & 0.19 & + 042959.5 + 243307 & cfht-20 & yso & class ii & ii & m5.5 & & 4.6 & -0.7 & 0.10 & + 043007.2 + 260820 & kpno-6 & not yso & class ii & ii & m8.5 & & 1.2 & -2.4 & 0.10 & + 043023.6 + 235912 & cfht-16 & & star & iii & m8.5 & & 0.5 & -2.5 & @xmath6 0.0038 & + 043029.6 + 242645 & fx tau ab & yso & class ii & ii & m1 & & 2.9 & 0.1 & 0.081 & + 043044.2 + 260124 & dk tau ab & & & ii & k7 & & 2.9 & 0.4 & 0.13 & + 043050.2 + 230008 & iras04278 + 2253 & & & ii & f1 & & 13.6 & 1.8 & 0.075 & + 043051.3 + 244222 & zz tau ab & yso & class ii & ii & m5 & -9.7 & 1.6 & -0.2 & 0.029 & c + 043051.7 + 244147 & zz tau irs & yso & class ii & flat & m4.5 & & 6.9 & -0.9 & 0.76 & + 043057.1 + 255639 & kpno-7 & not yso & class ii & ii & m8.25 & & 0.3 & -2.3 & 0.13 & + 043114.4 + 271017 & jh56 & yso & star & iii & m0.5 & & 0.0 & -0.3 & 0.0025 & + 043119.0 + 233504 & j04311907 + 2335047 & & star & iii & m7.75 & & 1.2 & -1.8 & @xmath6 0.0032 & + 043123.8 + 241052 & v927 tau ab & yso & star & iii & m5.5 & & 0.4 & -0.4 & @xmath6 5.5e-05 & + 043126.6 + 270318 & cfht-13 & yso & star & iii & m7.25 & & 1.8 & -2.3 & 0.0062 & + 043150.5 + 242418 & hk tau ab & yso & class ii & ii & m0.5 & & 4.7 & -0.2 & 0.22 & + 043158.4 + 254329 & j1 - 665 & yso & star & iii & m5 & & 1.2 & -0.6 & @xmath6 3.1e-05 & + 043203.2 + 252807 & j04320329 + 2528078 & & star & iii & m6.25 & & 0.0 & -1.2 & @xmath6 0.0025 & + 043215.4 + 242859 & haro6 - 13 & & & flat & m0 & & 11.0 & 0.2 & 0.32 & + 043217.8 + 242214 & cfht-7 ab & yso & star & iii & m6.5 & & 0.9 & -1.1 & @xmath6 0.00021 & + 043218.8 + 242227 & v928 tau ab & yso & star & iii & m0.5 & & 3.9 & 0.1 & @xmath6 2.9e-05 & + 043223.2 + 240301 & j04322329 + 2403013 & & star & iii & m7.75 & & 0.0 & -1.5 & @xmath6 0.0026 & + 043230.5 + 241957 & fy tau & yso & class ii & ii & k7 & & 5.9 & 0.2 & 0.061 & + 043231.7 + 242002 & fz tau & & & ii & m0 & & 7.2 & 0.4 & 0.17 & + 043232.0 + 225726 & iras04295 + 2251 & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & d + 043243.0 + 255231 & uz tau aab & & & ii & m1 & -80.3 & 0.0 & -0.0 & 0.41 & b + 043249.1 + 225302 & jh112 & yso & class ii & ii & k6 & & 5.5 & 0.1 & 0.11 & + 043250.2 + 242211 & cfht-5 & yso & star & iii & m7.5 & & 9.5 & -1.1 & @xmath6 0.00015 & + 043301.9 + 242100 & mho-8 & yso & star & iii & m5.5 & & 0.9 & -0.8 & @xmath6 0.00012 & + 043306.2 + 240933 & gh tau ab & yso & class ii & ii & m2 & & 1.9 & 0.1 & 0.093 & + 043306.6 + 240954 & v807 tau ab & & & ii & k7 & & 1.3 & 0.5 & 0.050 & + 043307.8 + 261606 & kpno-14 & yso & star & iii & m6 & & 4.1 & -0.9 & @xmath6 0.00012 & + 043309.4 + 224648 & cfht-12 & yso & class ii & ii & m6.5 & & 3.2 & -1.5 & 0.036 & + 043310.0 + 243343 & v830 tau & yso & star & iii & k7 & & 0.7 & -0.1 & @xmath6 4.5e-05 & + 043314.3 + 261423 & iras04301 + 2608 & yso & contam .
& flat & m0 & & 6.5 & -1.6 & 0.62 & d + 043316.5 + 225320 & iras04302 + 2247 & yso & star & i & & & & & & d + 043319.0 + 224634 & iras04303 + 2240 & & & ii & m0.5 & & 10.8 & 0.2 & 0.45 & + 043334.0 + 242117 & gi tau & yso & class ii & ii & k6 & & 2.7 & 0.2 & 0.19 & + 043334.5 + 242105 & gk tau & & & ii & k7 & & 2.7 & 0.3 & 0.16 & + 043336.7 + 260949 & is tau ab & yso & class ii & ii & k7 & & 3.5 & -0.2 & 0.15 & + 043339.0 + 252038 & dl tau & yso & class ii & ii & k7 & & 2.8 & 0.0 & 0.26 & + 043342.9 + 252647 & j04334291 + 2526470 & & star & iii & m8.75 & & 1.2 & -2.3 & @xmath6 0.0042 & + 043352.0 + 225030 & ci tau & yso & class ii & ii & k7 & & 3.6 & 0.2 & 0.14 & + 043352.5 + 225626 & 2mass j04335252 + 2256269 & yso & star & iii & & & & & & g + 043354.7 + 261327 & it tau ab & yso & class ii & ii & k2 & & 13.4 & 0.9 & 0.0082 & + 043410.9 + 225144 & jh108 & yso & star & iii & m1 & & 1.7 & -0.5 & @xmath6 6.8e-05 & + 043415.2 + 225030 & cfht-1 & & star & ii & & & & & & + 043439.2 + 250101 & wa tau 1 & star & star & iii & k0 & & 0.3 & 0.3 & @xmath6 3.4e-05 & + 043455.4 + 242853 & aa tau & yso & class ii & ii & k7 & & 2.2 & 0.1 & 0.15 & + 043508.5 + 231139 & cfht-11 & not yso & star & iii & m6.75 & & 0.0 & -1.6 & 0.00051 & + 043520.2 + 223214 & ho tau & yso & class ii & ii & m0.5 & & 2.6 & -0.7 & 0.11 & + 043520.8 + 225424 & ff tau ab & yso & star & iii & k7 & 0.0 & 1.9 & -0.1 & @xmath6 6.3e-05 & + 043527.3 + 241458 & dn tau & yso & class ii & ii & m0 & & 1.1 & 0.0 & 0.095 & + 043535.3 + 240819 & iras04325 + 2402 a & yso & class ii & i & & & & & & d + 043540.9 + 241108 & coku tau/3 ab & yso & class ii & ii & m1 & & 7.7 & 0.1 & 0.11 & + 043541.8 + 223411 & kpno-8 & & star & iii & m5.75 & & 0.0 & -1.7 & @xmath6 0.0020 & + 043545.2 + 273713 & j04354526 + 2737130 & & star & iii & m9.25 & & 1.0 & -2.5 & @xmath6 0.0021 & + 043547.3 + 225021 & hq tau & & & ii & k2 & -1.2 & 3.8 & 0.6 & 0.098 & c d g + 043551.0 + 225240 & kpno-15 & star & star & iii & m1.5 & & 2.7 & -0.7 & @xmath6 2.2e-05 & + 043551.4 + 224911 & kpno-9 & & star & iii & m8.5 & & 1.4 & -2.6 & @xmath6 0.0040 & + 043552.0 + 225503 & 2mass j04355209 + 2255039 & & star & iii & & & & & & g + 043552.7 + 225423 & hp tau ab & & & ii & k3 & -11.2 & 4.8 & 0.3 & 0.24 & e + 043552.8 + 225058 & 2mass j04355286 + 2250585 & yso & star & iii & & & & & & g + 043553.4 + 225408 & hp tau / g3 ab & & star & iii & k7 & & 2.2 & -0.2 & @xmath6 0.0011 & + 043554.1 + 225413 & hp tau / g2 & & star & iii & g0 & & 2.6 & 0.8 & @xmath6 0.00059 & + 043556.8 + 225436 & haro 6 - 28 ab & yso & class ii & ii & m5 & & 4.1 & -0.6 & 0.11 & + 043558.9 + 223835 & 2mass j04355892 + 2238353 & & star & iii & & & & & & g + 043610.3 + 215936 & j04361030 + 2159364 & not yso & class ii & ii & m8.5 & & 0.8 & -2.4 & 0.096 & + 043610.3 + 225956 & cfht-2 & & star & ii & m7.5 & & 3.0 & -1.8 & @xmath6 0.0024 & + 043619.0 + 254258 & lkca 14 & yso & star & iii & m0 & & 0.0 & -0.2 & @xmath6 4.5e-05 & + 043638.9 + 225811 & cfht-3 & & star & iii & m7.75 & & 1.8 & -1.9 & @xmath6 0.0025 & + 043649.1 + 241258 & hd 283759 & yso & star & ii & f2 & 5.5 & 0.4 & 0.4 & 0.0037 & c + 043800.8 + 255857 & itg 2 & yso & star & iii & m7.25 & & 2.3 & -0.9 & @xmath6 8.9e-05 & + 043814.8 + 261139 & j04381486 + 2611399 & yso & class ii & i & m7.25 & & 3.5 & -2.3 & 0.75 & + 043815.6 + 230227 & rxj0438.2 + 2302 & & star & iii & m1 & & 0.3 & -0.7 & @xmath6 0.00078 & + 043821.3 + 260913 & gm tau & yso & class ii & ii & & & & & & d + 043828.5 + 261049 & do tau & & & ii & m0 & & 4.9 & 0.3 & 0.28 & + 043835.2 + 261038 & hv tau ab & & star & iii & m1 & & 2.5 & 0.1 & @xmath6 0.0012 & + 043835.4 + 261041 & hv tau c & yso & class ii & flat & m4e & -10.0 & 1.9 & -1.7 & 0.71 & c + 043858.5 + 233635 & j0438586 + 2336352 & & & ii & m4.25 & & 0.0 & -1.3 & 0.085 & + 043901.6 + 233602 & j0439016 + 2336030 & & & ii & m6 & -3.3 & 0.9 & -1.0 & 0.044 & + 043903.9 + 254426 & cfht-6 & yso & class ii & ii & m7.25 & & 1.3 & -1.5 & 0.12 & + 043906.3 + 233417 & j0439064 + 2334179 & & & iii & m7.5 & & 0.0 & -1.4 & @xmath6 0.0 & + 043913.8 + 255320 & iras04361 + 2547 ab & & class ii & i & & & & & & d + 043917.7 + 222103 & lkca 15 & yso & class ii & ii & k5 & & 1.9 & 0.0 & 0.10 & + 043920.9 + 254502 & gn tau b & yso & class ii & ii & m2.5 & & 5.7 & 0.0 & 0.20 & + 043935.1 + 254144 & iras04365 + 2535 & & & i & & & & & & d + 043947.4 + 260140 & cfht-4 & yso & class ii & ii & m7 & & 4.4 & -1.0 & 0.14 & + 043953.9 + 260309 & iras 04368 + 2557 &
yso & embedded & i & & & & & & + 043955.7 + 254502 & ic2087 irs & & & flat & k4 & & 18.0 & 1.3 & 0.41 & + 044001.7 + 255629 & cfht-17 ab & yso & star & iii & m5.75 & & 8.4 & -0.9 & @xmath6 0.00023 & + 044008.0 + 260525 & iras 04370 + 2559 & yso & class ii & ii & < m0 & & 13.1 & -0.0 & 0.15 & + 044039.7 + 251906 & j04403979 + 2519061 ab & yso & star & iii & m5.25 & & 3.6 & -0.9 & 0.0042 & + 044049.5 + 255119 & jh223 & yso & class ii & ii & m2 & & 1.5 & -0.6 & 0.080 & + 044104.2 + 255756 & haro 6 - 32 & star & star & iii & m5 & & 0.6 & -0.9 & @xmath6 2.9e-05 & + 044104.7 + 245106 & iw tau ab & star & star & iii & k7 & & 1.1 & 0.0 & @xmath6 4.0e-05 & + 044108.2 + 255607 & itg 33 a & yso & class ii & flat & m3 & & 8.3 & -1.1 & 0.33 & + 044110.7 + 255511 & itg 34 & yso & class ii & ii & m5.5 & & 4.0 & -1.4 & 0.10 & + 044112.6 + 254635 & iras04381 + 2540 &
yso & embedded & i & & & & & & d + 044138.8 + 255626 & iras04385 + 2550 & yso & class ii & flat & m0 & & 9.3 & -0.2 & 0.30 & + 044148.2 + 253430 & j04414825 + 2534304 & yso & class ii & ii & m7.75 & & 2.4 & -1.8 & 0.21 & + 044205.4 + 252256 & lkha332/g2 ab & yso & star & iii & k7 & & 4.3 & 0.1 & 0.00016 & + 044207.3 + 252303 & lkha332/g1 ab & & star & iii & m1 & & 4.6 & 0.2 & @xmath6 0.00065 & + 044207.7 + 252311 & v955 tau ab & yso & class ii & ii & k7 & & 5.0 & 0.2 & 0.14 & + 044221.0 + 252034 & cida-7 & yso & class ii & ii & m3 & & 1.6 & -0.9 & 0.20 & + 044237.6 + 251537 & dp tau & yso & class ii & ii & m0.5 & & 5.6 & -0.3 & 0.37 & + 044303.0 + 252018 & go tau & yso & class ii & ii & m0 & & 2.3 & -0.5 & 0.096 & + 044427.1 + 251216 & iras04414 + 2506 & yso & class ii & ii & m7.25 & & 1.6 & -1.3 & 0.44 & + 044642.6 + 245903 & rxj04467 + 2459 & yso & star & iii & m4 & & 0.0 & -1.0 & @xmath6 0.00015 & + llllllllllllll 041159.7 + 294236 & & c & & & iii & g8-k1 & 0.9 & 2.8 & -0.8 & 0.0020 & needs addl followup & c + 041332.3 + 291726 & & a & not yso & star & ii & & & & & & pending followup & d + 041339.4 + 292114 & & b- & yso & embedded & flat & & & & & & pending followup & k + 041427.3 + 255130 & & b+ & not yso & star & iii & g5 & 2.5 & 0.4 & -1.7 & 0.0095 & possible new member & c o + 041535.6 + 284741 & & a- & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & d + 041539.1 + 281858 & & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m5 & -7.2 & 2.8 & -0.5 & 0.075 & new member & c g m + 041542.7 + 290959 & & a+ & yso & star & ii & m0 w/ av & -1.9 & 2.5 & -0.5 & 0.099 & new member & c g + 041557.9 + 274617 & & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m6 & -32.2 & 1.1 & -1.1 & 0.12 & new member & c g m + 041604.8 + 261801 & & c- & yso & embedded & flat & & & & & & pending followup & + 041605.8 + 281426 & & c & not yso & contam .
& i & & & & & & pending followup & + 041624.5 + 290858 & hd 281820 & b & yso & star & iii & a2 & 11.5 & 0.8 & 0.3 & 0.00017 & needs addl followup & c o + 041706.2 + 264413 & & b+ & not yso & star & iii & k3 & 1.5 & 0.9 & -1.0 & 0.0020 & needs addl followup & c + 041801.1 + 283526 & & b+ & not yso & star & iii & k0-k2 : & 1.1 & 6.2 & -0.9 & 0.0013 & possible new member & c p + 041803.3 + 244009 & & b & yso & star & iii & a9 & 7.9 & 0.3 & -0.3 & 0.0022 & needs addl followup & c f o + 041810.5 + 284447 & & c & yso & class ii & i & & & & & & pending followup & + 041810.7 + 251957 & [ gbm90 ] l1506 1 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & k8-m0 & -4.3 & 4.3 & -0.3 & 0.11 & new member & b c f g p + 041823.2 + 251928 & 2masx 04182321 + 2519281 & b+ & yso & class ii & flat & g & 1.9 & 7.7 & -1.8 & 0.34 & needs addl followup & c f m o + 041831.2 + 282617 & & b+ & yso & class ii & i & & & & & & pending followup & d + 041858.0 + 235031 & & b & yso & embedded & flat & & & & & & pending followup & d + 041859.0 + 255740 & & b- & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & + 041936.2 + 265256 & & b & not yso & star & iii & g3 & 2.7 & 0.8 & -1.3 & 0.0032 & needs addl followup & c o + 041940.4 + 270100 & & b- & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & h m + 041941.4 + 271607 & hh390 star & a & yso & class ii & i & < m0 & & 5.5 & -1.7 & 0.87 & probable new member & d m + 041946.5 + 271255 & & b & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & d g + 042016.1 + 282132 & & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m6e & -133.1 & 0.2 & -2.1 & 0.13 & new member & c d g l + 042021.4 + 281349 & & a+ & yso & class ii & flat & m0e & -489.1 & 3.5 & -2.4 & 0.44 & new member & b c d g m + 042025.8 + 281923 & & a+ & yso & class ii & flat & m4e & -102.2 & 11.2 & -1.5 & 0.71 & new member & c d g l m + 042025.8 + 281641 & & b & yso & star & iii & g2 : & 3.1 & 1.0 & -0.2 & 0.00016 & needs addl followup & c + 042026.0 + 280408 & & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m2 & -5.3 & 0.0 & -0.7 & 0.26 & new member & c d g l m + 042109.3 + 275036 & & a+ & yso & class ii & iii & m3 - 4e & -17.6 & 0.0 & -1.0 & 0.020 & new member & c d g l m + 042110.9 + 255259 & v412 tau & b & & & iii & a1 & 9.2 & 8.3 & 2.1 & 7.1e-05 & needs addl followup & c m + 042135.6 + 253835 & & b & not yso & star & iii & f6-g0 & 3.1 & 1.2 & -1.2 & 0.0043 & possible new member & c o + 042146.3 + 242505 & & b+ & yso & star & iii & m3 & 0.0 & 2.9 & 0.1 & @xmath6 0.00023 & needs addl
followup & c l + 042151.3 + 265720 & & b & & star & ii & & & & & & pending followup & d + 042200.9 + 235430 & & b+ & yso & star & iii & m3 & 0.0 & 3.7 & 0.2 & @xmath6 4.6e-05 & needs addl followup & c l m + 042212.9 + 254659 & & b- & yso & class ii & flat & & & & & & pending followup & f m + 042215.6 + 265706 & 2mass j04221568 + 2657060 & a+ & yso & class ii & i & k8-m0 & -7.8 & 4.5 & -1.5 & 0.65 & new member & c d g h i j m + 042220.9 + 264248 & & a & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & + 042247.8 + 264553 & iras04196 + 2638 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m1 & & 6.9 & -0.4 & 0.24 & new member & e g m + 042254.6 + 282354 & nsv 1577 & a & yso & star & ii & a0 & 10.0 & 1.5 & 1.4 & 0.00060 & probable new member & c n + 042306.0 + 280119 & j04230607 + 2801194 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m6 & & 0.0 & -1.5 & 0.10 & new member & g m + 042318.2 + 264115 & j04231822 + 2641156 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m3.5 & & 8.7 & -0.6 & 0.081 & new member & g + 042325.9 + 250354 & & c- & yso & star & ii & & & & & & pending followup & d + 042335.3 + 250302 & fu tau & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m5e & -88.4 & 1.9 & -0.7 & 0.18 & new member & c g g l m + 042339.0 + 251855 & & c & not yso & contam .
& i & & & & & & pending followup & + 042350.1 + 264006 & fs 116 & c & & star & iii & g6-k2 w / av & 1.6 & 8.2 & -0.6 & @xmath6 0.0011 & needs addl
followup & c p + 042356.0 + 242705 & hd 283663 & b & yso & star & iii & a1 & 6.0 & 1.6 & 0.3 & 0.00012 & needs addl followup & c o + 042358.6 + 244742 & & b- & & star & iii & k2 & 2.5 & 0.0 & -1.0 & 0.0052 & needs addl followup & c + 042420.9 + 263051 & j04242090 + 2630511 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m6.5 & & 0.3 & -1.9 & 0.12 & new member & g m + 042423.2 + 265008 & & a & yso & star & iii & m3 & -4.7 & 1.3 & -0.7 & 0.0019 & possible new member & c l m + 042515.5 + 282927 & & a+ & yso & star & iii & m6e & -23.5 & 0.0 & -1.1 & @xmath6 0.00019 & new member & c l m + 042518.6 + 255535 & & b & & & iii & m5 & 0.0 & 3.7 & 0.5 & @xmath6 0.00013 & needs addl
followup & c f l + 042519.1 + 234716 & hd 27923 & b- & yso & star & iii & b9 & 8.6 & 0.1 & 1.2 & 4.0e-05 & needs addl followup & c n o + 042558.8 + 273701 & hd 283637 & b- & yso & star & iii & b9 & 7.0 & 2.1 & 0.6 & 3.5e-05 & needs addl followup & c o + 042653.3 + 255858 & & c & not yso & contam .
& i & & & & & & pending followup & + 042721.0 + 240829 & & c- & & star & iii & g6 & 2.8 & 0.2 & -1.8 & 0.0042 & needs addl followup & c k o + 042728.1 + 262323 & & c+ & not yso & star & iii & k1 w/ av & 1.3 & 0.0 & -1.6 & 0.0070 & needs addl followup & c o + 042730.2 + 244123 & 2masx 04273023 + 2441232 & b- & yso & star & i & & & & & & pending followup & d + 042810.4 + 243553 & & c & not yso & embedded & flat & & & & & & pending followup & + 042857.4 + 243607 & & a & yso & star & iii & & & & & & pending followup & d + 042902.9 + 243140 & & c- & yso & star & iii & & & & & & pending followup & d + 042905.2 + 261535 & 2masx 04290517 + 2615358 & b- & & star & ii & & & & & & pending followup & + 042916.2 + 285627 & hd 283629 & b+ & yso & star & iii & g6 & 2.5 & 0.5 & -0.1 & 0.00015 & needs addl followup & c + 042920.8 + 274207 & iras 04262 + 2735 & a & yso & class ii & ii & m6 & 0.0 & 4.0 & 0.4 & 0.040 & possible new member & c d e f l p + 042932.0 + 243059 & & a & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & d g + 042936.0 + 243555 & j04293606 + 2435556 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m3 & & 6.6 & -0.1 & 0.048 & new member & g h i m + 042949.9 + 284253 & & c- & not yso & class ii & flat & & & & & & pending followup & + 043004.7 + 283306 & & b+ & yso & star & iii & k2 & 1.6 & 1.3 & -0.4 & 0.00036 & needs addl followup & c + 043024.1 + 281916 & & b & yso & star & iii & m5 & 0.0 & 5.1 & 0.5 & @xmath6 9.6e-05 & needs addl followup & c f l + 043034.2 + 252427 & & b+ & not yso & star & ii & g5-g6 w/ av & 2.7 & 2.3 & -1.9 & 0.0085 & needs addl followup & c o + 043042.8 + 274329 & & b+ & yso & star & iii & m6 & 0.0 & 3.6 & 0.1 & @xmath6 0.00032 & needs addl followup & c f l + 043044.7 + 263308 & & b+ & yso & star & iii & k3 & 1.1 & 2.2 & 0.5 & 0.00089 & needs addl followup & c m + 043131.4 + 230025 & & b- & & star & iii & k2 & 1.5 & 1.7 & -0.7 & 0.0027 & needs addl followup & c + 043133.1 + 292856 & & b- & yso & star & iii & b9 w/ av & 10.7 & 2.6 & 0.5 & 3.3e-05 & needs addl followup & c o + 043141.2 + 293922 & & c- & & star & iii & k2 & 1.2 & 1.4 & -1.7 & 0.011 & needs addl followup & c k o + 043145.0 + 285908 & & b & not yso & star & iii & f0 & 1.1 & 1.3 & -0.6 & 0.0010 & needs addl followup & c o + 043213.6 + 251746 & gsc 01833 - 00754 & c+ & yso & star & iii & a9 & 6.4 & 1.3 & -0.0 & 8.2e-05 & needs addl followup & c o + 043214.6 + 223742 & & c & not yso & embedded & flat & & & & & & pending followup & + 043224.1 + 225108 & & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m5e & -14.4 & 1.5 & -1.0 & 0.064 & new member & c d g l + 043225.1 + 264732 & & b- & not yso & star & iii & k1 w/ av & 1.3 & 3.1 & -0.9 & 0.0017 & needs addl followup & c + 043228.1 + 271122 & & b & yso & star & iii & m6 & 0.0 & 7.0 & 0.5 & @xmath6 4.0e-05 & needs addl followup & c f l + 043244.2 + 230224 & & @xmath63 & not yso & embedded & i & & & & & & xgal & d + 043249.3 + 225308 & & a+ & & class ii & ii & early k & -25.9 & 7.1 & -0.0 & 0.030 & new member & b c g k p + 043256.4 + 222342 & hd 284481 & b- & yso & star & iii & a8 & 6.5 & 1.0 & 0.3 & 6.4e-05 & needs addl followup & c o + 043304.2 + 292149 & hd 282276 & a & yso & star & ii & b8v & 5.7 & & & & needs addl followup & d n + 043312.6 + 291250 & hd 282277 & b & yso & star & iii & a7v & 6.9 & & & & needs addl followup & + 043316.6 + 262724 & & b+ & yso & class ii & flat & & & & & & pending followup & + 043326.2 + 224529 & 2mass j04332621 + 2245293 & a & yso & star & ii & m4 & -6.8 & 5.9 & -0.6 & 0.015 & probable new member & c d g h l + 043339.0 + 222720 & & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m1e & -23.7 & 7.9 & -0.9 & 0.12 & new member & c d
g l + 043341.8 + 223836 & & b- & & star & iii & k2 w/ av & 0.7 & 4.9 & -0.9 & @xmath6 0.0021 & needs addl followup & c + 043344.6 + 261500 & & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m6e & -82.2 & 5.4 & -0.6 & 0.13 & new member & c d f g l m + 043349.5 + 291528 & iras 04306 + 2909 & @xmath63 & yso & embedded & i & xgal & -1.9 & 9.5 & 0.2 & 0.021 & xgal & c e + 043352.4 + 261254 & j04335245 + 2612548 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m8.5 & & 4.9 & -2.4 & 0.13 & new member & g + 043359.2 + 293636 & & b+ & yso & star & iii & m3 w / av & 0.0 & 5.5 & 0.4 & @xmath6 8.0e-05 & needs addl followup & c l + 043419.5 + 265210 & & a & not yso & star & iii & & & & & & pending followup & d + 043419.8 + 232649 & hd 284530 & b- & yso & star & iii & b8 & 7.7 & 1.9 & 1.2 & 3.8e-05 & needs addl followup & c n o + 043435.4 + 264406 & & b- & & & iii & m3 & 1.4 & 5.8 & 0.6 & 0.0010 & needs addl followup & c f l + 043452.5 + 240244 & & b+ & not yso & star & iii & k2 w/ av & 1.6 & 4.4 & -1.1 & 0.0038 & needs addl followup & c + 043456.9 + 225835 & 2mass j04345693 + 2258358 & a+ & yso & star & iii & m0 & -4.5 & 1.8 & -0.5 & 0.00023 & new member & c g h j + 043521.3 + 255510 & & @xmath63 & yso & embedded & flat & & & & & & xgal & d + 043542.0 + 225222 & 2mass j04354203 + 2252226 & a+ & yso & star & iii & m5e & -18.6 & 2.1 & -0.8 & @xmath6 0.00014 & new member & c g h j l + 043557.6 + 225357 & j04355760 + 2253574 & a+ & yso & star & ii & m5:e & -30.4 & 3.4 & -2.3 & 0.15 & new member & c d l + 043559.4 + 223829 & & a+ & yso & class ii & flat & k7-m0 & -1.7 & 2.0 & -2.0 & 0.53 & new member & c + 043621.4 + 271912 & & a- & yso & star & ii & k2e & 0.8 & 2.6 & -1.5 & 0.012 & possible new member & c o p + 043621.5 + 235116 & j04362151 + 2351165 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m5.25 & & 0.1 & -1.8 & 0.065 & new member & d g + 043636.1 + 265910 & & b & & star & iii & k2 & 1.0 & 1.1 & -1.4 & 0.0078 & needs addl followup & c + 043642.0 + 265339 & & b & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & + 043720.8 + 250019 & & b+ & yso & star & iii & g0 & 3.5 & 0.8 & -0.3 & 0.00035 & needs addl followup & c + 043724.8 + 270919 & sv * svs 1085 & b & yso & class ii & iii & b8e & -20.4 & 2.3 & 0.7 & 0.00056 & background be & c d + 043756.7 + 254622 & itg 1 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & & & & & & new member & d e g + 043801.9 + 251926 & & a+ & not yso & star & ii & k8 & -1.9 & 3.3 & -1.6 & 0.015 & new member & c d + 043803.6 + 221223 & & c- & not yso & star & iii & g0 & 3.2 & 0.3 & -1.0 & 0.0020 & needs addl followup & c o + 043816.5 + 261450 & & c- & yso & star & iii & & & & & & pending followup & d + 043826.7 + 265501 & & b+ & yso & star & iii & g6-k2 & 1.8 & 1.0 & -0.4 & 0.00019 & needs addl followup & c + 043905.2 + 233745 & j04390525 + 2337450 & a+ & yso & class ii & flat & k5e & -28.2 & 4.1 & -1.3 & 0.39 & new member & c d g + 043933.6 + 235921 & j04393364 + 2359212 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m5 & & 1.3 & -1.0 & 0.15 & new member & g + 043939.9 + 252034 & jh 225 & b- & yso & star & iii & b9 w/ av & 10.5 & 4.1 & 0.9 & 5.0e-05 & needs addl followup & c f o + 043943.8 + 271956 & & c & & star & iii & k0-k2 & 1.2 & 2.5 & -0.9 & @xmath6 0.0014 & needs addl followup & c + 043944.8 + 260152 & itg 15 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m5 & & 4.4 & -0.3 & 0.072 & new member & e g m + 044000.6 + 235821 & j04400067 + 2358211 & a+ & yso & class ii & ii & m6 & & 0.0 & -1.5 & 0.096 & new member & g + 044022.8 + 243307 & & @xmath63 & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & xgal & d + 044023.0 + 255702 & & b- & yso & star & iii & g0 & 1.0 & 7.4 & -0.5 & 0.00022 & needs addl followup & m + 044048.4 + 233941 & & a- & & & ii & k0 & 0.8 & 2.1 & -1.9 & 0.012 & possible new member & c o + 044124.6 + 254353 & itg 40 & a+ & yso & class ii & flat & m3.5 & & 22.2 & -0.8 & 0.060 & new member & e g + 044125.7 + 254349 & & b & not yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & f h + 044200.4 + 235813 & & @xmath63 & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & xgal & d + 044241.1 + 244117 & ccdm j04427 + 2441ab & b+ & yso & star & iii & a0 & 9.8 & & & & needs addl followup & m + 044253.9 + 253709 & & b & not yso & star & iii & f5 & 3.3 & 2.2 & -1.5 & 0.0043 & needs addl followup & o + 044315.8 + 235358 & & c- & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & + 044325.1 + 255706 & & b+ & yso & star & iii & k7-m0 & 0.5 & 0.2 & -0.5 & 0.00020 & needs addl followup & c m + 044345.3 + 243908 & tyc 1834 - 591 - 1 & b & yso & star & iii & & & & & & pending followup & d n + 044358.3 + 235103 & & c- & yso & star & iii & m3 & 1.4 & 3.7 & 0.8 & @xmath6 9.5e-06 & needs addl followup & c l + 044518.2 + 242436 & hd 30067 & b+ & yso & star & iii & a4v & 10.6 & & & & needs addl followup & m n + 044539.8 + 251704 & & b & yso & star & iii & m5 & 0.0 & 4.9 & -0.1 & @xmath6 7.3e-05 & needs addl
followup & c d f l m + 044550.7 + 254448 & & @xmath63 & yso & embedded & flat & & & & & & xgal & d + 044555.7 + 261858 & & a & not yso & star & ii & k4 & 1.3 & 2.4 & -1.0 & 0.021 & possible new member & c d + 044557.0 + 244042 & & b- & & class ii & iii & k2 & 1.5 & 1.8 & -1.9 & 0.015 & needs addl followup & c f o + 044609.6 + 245237 & & a- & not yso & star & ii & early g & 2.4 & 5.4 & -1.4 & 0.0043 & possible new member & c d o + 044639.8 + 242526 & & c- & & & iii & m5 & 0.0 & 4.5 & 1.0 & @xmath6 0.00018 & needs addl followup & c f l m + 044644.4 + 262306 & & b+ & & & iii & m4 & 0.0 & 3.7 & 0.8 & @xmath6 0.00018 & needs addl followup & c l m + 044650.3 + 243815 & & b- & not yso & star & iii & k0-k1 w/ av & 2.1 & 1.8 & -2.0 & 0.0079 & needs addl followup & c o + 044802.3 + 253359 & & b & yso & star & iii & k0-k1 w/ av & 0.0 & 5.9 & -0.4 & 8.0e-05 & needs addl followup & c m + 044832.3 + 234746 & & c & yso & embedded & i & & & & & & pending followup & + 044857.4 + 255853 & 2masx 04485745 + 2558527 & b+ & not yso & class ii & ii & k & 0.0 & 5.0 & -1.9 & 0.015 & possible new member & c d o + 044900.1 + 241346 & & @xmath63 & yso & contam .
& i & & & & & & xgal & d + 044913.7 + 252549 & & c- & & contam . & iii & f6 & 2.6 & 4.5 & -1.6 & 0.011 & needs addl followup & c o + 044916.3 + 243827 & ccdm j04493 + 2438a & c & yso & star & iii & k2 w/ av & 1.6 & 0.5 & -0.2 & 0.00018 & needs addl followup & c k + 044941.5 + 254010 & & b+ & not yso & star & iii & m3 & 0.0 & 1.5 & -2.0 & 0.011 & needs addl followup & c d l + llllll 041539.1 + 281858 & & 63.913178 & 28.316282 & a+ & 12.66 + 041542.7 + 290959 & & 63.928283 & 29.166586 & a+ & 4.14 + 041557.9 + 274617 & & 63.991642 & 27.771547 & a+ & 7.54 + 041810.7 + 251957 & [ gbm90 ] l1506 1 & 64.544954 & 25.332630 & a+ & 62.64 + 042016.1 + 282132 & & 65.067129 & 28.359041 & a+ & 10.67 + 042021.4 + 281349 & & 65.089345 & 28.230326 & a+ & 16.91 + 042025.8 + 281923 & & 65.107642 & 28.323265 & a+ & 13.65 + 042026.0 + 280408 & & 65.108609 & 28.069153 & a+ & 17.42 + 042109.3 + 275036 & & 65.288930 & 27.843567 & a+ & 11.17 + 042215.6 + 265706 & 2mass j04221568 + 2657060 & 65.565341 & 26.951694 & a+ & 2.16 + 042247.8 + 264553 & iras04196 + 2638 & 65.699455 & 26.764736 & a+ & 5.35 + 042306.0 + 280119 & j04230607 + 2801194 & 65.775303 & 28.022081 & a+ & 4.65 + 042318.2 + 264115 & j04231822 + 2641156 & 65.825957 & 26.687672 & a+ & 13.16 + 042335.3 + 250302 & fu tau & 65.897483 & 25.050739 & a+ & 6.86 + 042420.9 + 263051 & j04242090 + 2630511 & 66.087089 & 26.514210 & a+ & 13.83 + 042515.5 + 282927 & & 66.314616 & 28.490980 & a+ & 36.65 + 042936.0 + 243555 & j04293606 + 2435556 & 67.400276 & 24.598793 & a+ & 4.05 + 043224.1 + 225108 & & 68.100646 & 22.852333 & a+ & 6.06 + 043249.3 + 225308 & & 68.205751 & 22.885616 & a+ & 0.11 + 043339.0 + 222720 & & 68.412730 & 22.455774 & a+ & 19.77 + 043344.6 + 261500 & & 68.436051 & 26.250147 & a+ & 2.74 + 043352.4 + 261254 & j04335245 + 2612548 & 68.468574 & 26.215237 & a+ & 0.74 + 043456.9 + 225835 & 2mass j04345693 + 2258358 & 68.737218 & 22.976627 & a+ & 6.93 + 043542.0 + 225222 & 2mass j04354203 + 2252226 & 68.925159 & 22.872963 & a+ & 2.11 + 043557.6 + 225357 & j04355760 + 2253574 & 68.990035 & 22.899303 & a+ & 0.67 + 043559.4 + 223829 & & 68.997913 & 22.641430 & a+ & 0.17 + 043621.5 + 235116 & j04362151 + 2351165 & 69.089655 & 23.854609 & a+ & 20.04 + 043756.7 + 254622 & itg 1 & 69.486267 & 25.773035 & a+ & 12.61 + 043801.9 + 251926 & & 69.507964 & 25.324060 & a+ & 28.65 + 043905.2 + 233745 & j04390525 + 2337450 & 69.771877 & 23.629189 & a+ & 1.89 + 043933.6 + 235921 & j04393364 + 2359212 & 69.890187 & 23.989231 & a+ & 24.14 + 043944.8 + 260152 & itg 15 & 69.937014 & 26.031330 & a+ & 0.62 + 044000.6 + 235821 & j04400067 + 2358211 & 70.002817 & 23.972546 & a+ & 25.99 + 044124.6 + 254353 & itg 40 & 70.352685 & 25.731396 & a+ & 3.82 + 041941.4 + 271607 & hh390 star & 64.922838 & 27.268616 & a & 2.52 + 042254.6 + 282354 & nsv 1577 & 65.727597 & 28.398354 & a & 11.46 + 043326.2 + 224529 & 2mass j04332621 + 2245293 & 68.359223 & 22.758150 & a & 1.97 + 042423.2 + 265008 & & 66.096734 & 26.835686 & a & 0.78 + 042920.8 + 274207 & iras 04262 + 2735 & 67.336817 & 27.702072 & a & 13.68 + 044555.7 + 261858 & & 71.482339 & 26.316357 & a & 61.92 + 043621.4 + 271912 & & 69.089458 & 27.320208 & a- & 19.72 + 044048.4 + 233941 & & 70.202020 & 23.661591 & a- & 24.00 + 044609.6 + 245237 & & 71.540265 & 24.877144 & a- & 9.85 + 041427.3 + 255130 & & 63.613782 & 25.858398 & b+ & 55.12 + 041801.1 + 283526 & & 64.504653 & 28.590672 & b+ & 5.44 + 044857.4 + 255853 & 2masx 04485745 + 2558527 & 72.239482 & 25.981394 & b+ & 67.12 + 042135.6 + 253835 & & 65.398398 & 25.643232 & b & 14.03 + 043304.2 + 292149 & hd 282276 & 68.267613 & 29.363867 & a & 101.91 + 041706.2 + 264413 & & 64.276248 & 26.737167 & b+ & 31.11 + 041823.2 + 251928 & 2masx 04182321 + 2519281 & 64.596722 & 25.324471 & b+ & 60.42 + 042146.3 + 242505 & & 65.442927 & 24.418116 & b+ & 40.35 + 042200.9 + 235430 & & 65.503948 & 23.908342 & b+ & 65.66 + 042916.2 + 285627 & hd 283629 & 67.317694 & 28.940914 & b+ & 61.49 + 043004.7 + 283306 & & 67.519643 & 28.551838 & b+ & 40.58 + 043034.2 + 252427 & & 67.642795 & 25.407726 & b+ & 20.43 + 043042.8 + 274329 & & 67.678529 & 27.724981 & b+ & 25.37 + 043044.7 + 263308 & & 67.686434 & 26.552361 & b+ & 13.42 + 043359.2 + 293636 & & 68.497083 & 29.610262 & b+ & 120.82 + 043452.5 + 240244 & & 68.718796 & 24.045792 & b+ & 11.26 + 043720.8 + 250019 & & 69.336752 & 25.005396 & b+ & 36.60 + 043826.7 + 265501 & & 69.611576 & 26.917101 & b+ & 43.44 + 044241.1 + 244117 & ccdm j04427 + 2441ab & 70.671643 & 24.688299 & b+ & 24.00 + 044325.1 + 255706 & & 70.854940 & 25.951765 & b+ & 23.92 + 044518.2 + 242436 & hd 30067 & 71.325984 & 24.410131 & b+ & 39.42 + 044644.4 + 262306 & & 71.685220 & 26.385118 & b+ & 73.58 + 044941.5 + 254010 & & 72.423263 & 25.669575 & b+ & 57.67 + 041624.5 + 290858 & hd 281820 & 64.102356 & 29.149654 & b & 10.65 + 041803.3 + 244009 & & 64.514100 & 24.669361 & b & 77.88 + 041936.2 + 265256 & & 64.900850 & 26.882286 & b & 13.40 + 042025.8 + 281641 & & 65.107869 & 28.278227 & b & 15.39 + 042110.9 + 255259 & v412 tau & 65.295779 & 25.883303 & b & 15.21 + 042356.0 + 242705 & hd 283663 & 65.983654 & 24.451431 & b & 29.40 + 042518.6 + 255535 & & 66.327763 & 25.926657 & b & 16.52 + 043024.1 + 281916 & & 67.600602 & 28.321260 & b & 30.42 + 043145.0 + 285908 & & 67.937661 & 28.985607 & b & 73.56 + 043228.1 + 271122 & & 68.117315 & 27.189692 & b & 15.88 + 043312.6 + 291250 & hd 282277 & 68.302720 & 29.214066 & b & 95.45 + 043636.1 + 265910 & & 69.150616 & 26.986322 & b & 39.68 + 044253.9 + 253709 & & 70.724809 & 25.619368 & b & 15.05 + 044539.8 + 251704 & & 71.416097 & 25.284595 & b & 17.13 + 044802.3 + 253359 & & 72.009726 & 25.566454 & b & 39.31 + 042358.6 + 244742 & & 65.994199 & 24.795076 & b- & 9.60 + 042519.1 + 234716 & hd 27923 & 66.329856 & 23.788006 & b- & 34.93 + 042558.8 + 273701 & hd 283637 & 66.495259 & 27.617020 & b- & 28.58 + 043131.4 + 230025 & & 67.880924 & 23.007208 & b- & 9.47 + 043133.1 + 292856 & & 67.888044 & 29.482388 & b- & 99.66 + 043225.1 + 264732 & & 68.104744 & 26.792301 & b- & 20.46 + 043256.4 + 222342 & hd 284481 & 68.235238 & 22.395138 & b- & 23.30 + 043341.8 + 223836 & & 68.424276 & 22.643473 & b- & 9.54 + 043419.8 + 232649 & hd 284530 & 68.582806 & 23.447161 & b- & 18.83 + 043435.4 + 264406 & & 68.647885 & 26.735069 & b- & 31.98 + 043939.9 + 252034 & jh 225 & 69.916487 & 25.342842 & b- & 13.60 + 044023.0 + 255702 & & 70.095875 & 25.950682 & b- & 4.81 + 044557.0 + 244042 & & 71.487694 & 24.678431 & b- & 21.06 + 044650.3 + 243815 & & 71.709980 & 24.637739 & b- & 20.87 + 042728.1 + 262323 & & 66.867199 & 26.389803 & c+ & 7.71 + 043213.6 + 251746 & gsc
01833 - 00754 & 68.056868 & 25.296129 & c+ & 10.62 + 041159.7 + 294236 & & 62.998870 & 29.710224 & c & 35.29 + 042350.1 + 264006 & fs 116 & 65.958819 & 26.668579 & c & 12.67 + 043943.8 + 271956 & & 69.932822 & 27.332352 & c & 55.67 + 044916.3 + 243827 & ccdm j04493 + 2438a & 72.318089 & 24.640902 & c & 40.52 + 042721.0 + 240829 & & 66.837538 & 24.141438 & c- & 12.40 + 043141.2 + 293922 & & 67.921919 & 29.656178 & c- & 110.09 + 043803.6 + 221223 & & 69.515227 & 22.206503 & c- & 19.22 + 044358.3 + 235103 & & 70.992959 & 23.850939 & c- & 68.89 + 044639.8 + 242526 & & 71.666086 & 24.423908 & c- & 33.63 + 044913.7 + 252549 & & 72.307325 & 25.430412 & c- & 43.42 + 041332.3 + 291726 & & 63.384823 & 29.290760 & a & 5.52 + 042220.9 + 264248 & & 65.587113 & 26.713463 & a & 3.69 + 042857.4 + 243607 & & 67.239295 & 24.602066 & a & 6.74 + 042932.0 + 243059 & & 67.383731 & 24.516598 & a & 2.77 + 043419.5 + 265210 & & 68.581613 & 26.869499 & a & 39.11 + 041535.6 + 284741 & & 63.898611 & 28.794920 & a- & 17.79 + 041831.2 + 282617 & & 64.630173 & 28.438248 & b+ & 0.47 + 043316.6 + 262724 & & 68.319252 & 26.456673 & b+ & 11.46 + 041858.0 + 235031 & & 64.741993 & 23.841991 & b & 91.73 + 041946.5 + 271255 & & 64.944061 & 27.215336 & b & 1.13 + 042151.3 + 265720 & & 65.463854 & 26.955629 & b & 2.10 + 043642.0 + 265339 & & 69.175240 & 26.894352 & b & 45.35 + 044125.7 + 254349 & & 70.357346 & 25.730341 & b & 4.04 + 044345.3 + 243908 & tyc 1834 - 591 - 1 & 70.938928 & 24.652491 & b & 34.45 + 041339.4 + 292114 & & 63.414342 & 29.353973 & b- & 4.88 + 041401.7 + 280857 & & 63.507256 & 28.149384 & b- & 2.35 + 041859.0 + 255740 & & 64.745898 & 25.961126 & b- & 45.20 + 041940.4 + 270100 & & 64.918731 & 27.016882 & b- & 9.79 + 042212.9 + 254659 & & 65.553995 & 25.783281 & b- & 2.34 + 042730.2 + 244123 & 2masx 04273023 + 2441232 & 66.876130 & 24.689869 & b- & 8.02 + 042905.2 + 261535 & 2masx 04290517 + 2615358 & 67.271721 & 26.259964 & b- & 5.64 + 043523.7 + 240450 & & 68.848785 & 24.080612 & b- & 4.39 + 041331.6 + 280613 & & 63.381946 & 28.103617 & c & 7.03 + 041605.8 + 281426 & & 64.024513 & 28.240591 & c & 8.41 + 041810.5 + 284447 & & 64.544147 & 28.746483 & c & 13.68 + 042339.0 + 251855 & & 65.912544 & 25.315405 & c & 22.69 + 042653.3 + 255858 & & 66.722092 & 25.982811 & c & 6.87 + 042810.4 + 243553 & & 67.043381 & 24.598303 & c & 16.92 + 043214.6 + 223742 & & 68.060855 & 22.628393 & c & 15.59 + 044832.3 + 234746 & & 72.134884 & 23.796349 & c & 75.53 + 041604.8 + 261801 & & 64.020153 & 26.300299 & c- & 33.29 + 042325.9 + 250354 & & 65.858228 & 25.065123 & c- & 8.24 + 042902.9 + 243140 & & 67.262433 & 24.527840 & c- & 4.90 + 042949.9 + 284253 & & 67.458318 & 28.714808 & c- & 49.05 + 043816.5 + 261450 & & 69.569150 & 26.247238 & c- & 3.19 + 044315.8 + 235358 & & 70.816129 & 23.899599 & c- & 60.39 +
there are 215 previously identified taurus members and 148 candidate new taurus members discussed here .
table [ tab : sampleproperties2new ] summarizes the samples selected from each color - magnitude or color - color space , along with relevant numbers from the swire sample for comparison .
table [ tab : sampleproperties1new ] summarizes the fraction of the previously identified and new candidate sources detected at each spitzer band .
table [ tab : sampleproperties2new ] captures the fraction of objects found in each cmd or ccd that fall into the categories of previously identified ysos , new candidate ysos , previously identified non - members , and new non - members , and also the fraction of each of these categories that is found in each of the cmds or ccd .
for example , in the case of the 24/70 cmd , 447 objects are selected by our color cuts in this diagram . of these , 19% are previously identified ysos , 7% are new candidate ysos ,
10% are previously identified non - members , and 60% are new non - members . and , out of the 215 stars that compose our previously identified taurus member sample ,
41% are recovered in the 24/70 diagram , of the 148 objects in our candidate yso sample , 22% are found here , of the 821 previously identified non - members , 6% are found in this diagram , and of the 489 new non - members , 55% are found here .
this table reveals that the @xmath5/24 diagram recovers the highest fraction of previously identified objects and of new candidate objects .
the 24/70 cmd finds the highest fraction of new non - members ( by fraction of objects found in this diagram as well as by fraction of the entire new non - member list ) ; this is not particularly surprising , as the objects that are detected at 70 @xmath2mtend to be either ysos or extragalactic objects .
this table also shows that the @xmath06@xmath32 elais n1 swire sample is largely found outside of our color selection criteria ; few galaxies of the sort found in this swire sample are likely to be selected by our criteria .
table [ tab : sampleproperties1new ] shows , of the entire sample of previously - identified taurus members , essentially all are seen in at least one band of irac , most ( @xmath080% ) are detected in mips-24 , and just @xmath045% are seen at mips-70 .
however , @xmath010% of these famous , bright objects are saturated in at least one spitzer band , and many objects do not have infrared excesses ( or have excesses too weak to be measured at , e.g. , 70 @xmath2 m ) .
those that are missing flux densities ( e.g. , without even limits ) in table [ tab : knownyso ] ( or table [ tab : posnewyso ] ) are missing because they are off the edge of the covered area , or there is a cosmic ray cluster near the location of the source , corrupting the photometry . as can be seen in table [ tab : sampleproperties2new ] , out of the 215 previously identified taurus members , 144 ( 67% )
are selected in at least one of our color spaces as having a spitzer infrared excess .
this is roughly consistent with the 2/3rds disk fraction in taurus .
just 65 ( 30% ) are selected in all of our color spaces simultaneously . out of our 148 new candidate taurus members ,
17 ( 16% ) are selected in all of our color spaces simultaneously ( two of which are likely galaxies , 043349.5 + 291528 and 044554.8 + 240843 , based on spectroscopy ) .
interestingly , there are a comparable number of non - members ( new or previously identified ) , 21 objects , that are selected in all of our color spaces together . for the new candidate members
, we have an obvious bias in that we can not find stars without spitzer ir excesses ; note that the sample of previously identified taurus members includes taurus members without ir excesses .
we also have a bias in that three of these color selections use 24 @xmath2 m in some fashion ( either as overall brightness or as part of the color ) .
this selection mechanism biases our sample of yso candidates towards a high fraction with 24 @xmath2 m detections ; see table [ tab : sampleproperties1new ] .
just @xmath09% of these objects are not seen at 24 @xmath2 m . moreover , because previous surveys on the whole were using less sensitive instruments , the new potential objects that we have discovered here are on average fainter in the optical and nir than the sample of previously identified taurus members ( see table [ tab : sampleproperties1new ] ) .
many objects newly identified here have large ir excesses , but several of them have small excesses at 8 @xmath2 m and either a low excess or no detection at all at longer wavelengths .
these objects are the unselected objects ( grey dots ) in the @xmath5 vs. @xmath5@xmath37[24 ] diagram ( fig .
[ fig : kk24 ] ) that have @xmath5@xmath37[24 ] near 0 .
these objects are included in our list of new candidate taurus members only if they have more than 4@xmath7 excess ( see [ sec : gradations ] ) ; we have dropped objects whose apparent 8 @xmath2 m excess is completely inconsistent based on planck function considerations with a photospheric 24 @xmath2 m measurement ( or limit ) .
these 4@xmath7 8 @xmath2mpoints seem to be real , in that the distribution of , e.g. , [ 3.6]@xmath37[8 ] colors are near zero for the overwhelming majority of stars in the catalog , and these objects are clearly redder than average .
however , without detailed modeling beyond the scope of this paper , it is puzzling how objects could have legitimate , real 4@xmath7 excesses at 8 @xmath2 m and small 24 @xmath2 m excesses .
these objects have low grades of confidence in table [ tab : newysot3 ] , and generally will require additional observations to resolve . of the 83 stars with optical spectroscopy ,
not all of them are securely identified members of taurus .
additional information , such as emission lines which are typical of 1 - 5 myr t tauri stars , can help inform our membership assessment .
twenty - six have h@xmath1 in emission at any level .
m stars that are not members of taurus but possess typical levels of stellar activity can also have h@xmath1 in emission .
figure [ fig : halpha ] shows the h@xmath1 equivalent width as a function of spectral type for all stars reported in this work ( including those stars listed solely in the appendix which we dropped as non - members ) .
the lines shown are from slesnick et al.(2008 ) and barrado y navascus & martn ( 2003 ) , dividing accretion from `` normal '' activity levels of h@xmath1 at the late m types .
stars for which we have detected a strong ir excess plus an h@xmath1 equivalent width in emission larger than the cutoff as a function of spectral type are objects we have placed in the secure `` new member '' bin see [ sec : finalverdicts ] and the data tables except for the be star which can not be a member of taurus ( see [ sec : backgroundbs ] ) .
we also list objects that have a more moderate h@xmath1 emission but still a very strong ir excess ( not class iii but class i , ii , or flat ) as secure new members .
objects with moderate or no h@xmath1 emission and small ir excess ( class iii ) need additional indications of membership , such as lithium , radial velocities , proper motions , or high - spectral - resolution observations of gravity - sensitive lines . one way to identify intermediate - gravity objects , e.g. , neither giants nor dwarfs but yso - like gravities , is found in slesnick et al .
( 2008 ) and applies to stars of type m1 and later .
it uses the tio 8465 index and na 8190 index ; this analysis for our qualifying stars is presented in figure [ fig : gravities ] .
all of our new members except one have gravities in the region of this diagram occupied by previously identified taurus members ; all of the rest of our candidate members shown here are also roughly consistent with yso gravities , given the scatter in this measurement .
these objects are indicated in the notes column of table [ tab : newysot3 ] .
the one new member that may have more giant - like gravity is sst tau 042920.8 + 274207 , which may appear in that location in the diagram due to reddening ; reddening will push points up and to the left in this figure .
this object is particularly perplexing , in that it has many characteristics of youth and also those of the post - main sequence .
our calculation of @xmath36([sec : finalverdicts ] ) suggests that @xmath36@xmath04 .
additional modeling ( beyond the scope of this paper ) is needed to further investigate this object .
we note here that several of the objects discarded as giants ( based on visual examination ; see [ sec : giants ] ) would appear in this diagram as having gravities consistent with giant gravities , if they were included in this figure . out of the 148 candidate new taurus members , according to the letter grades we assigned ( [ sec : gradations ] ) , there are 50 with letter `` a+ '' , `` a '' , or `` a- '' ( most believable ) , 66 with grade `` b+ '' , `` b '' , or `` b- '' , and 25 with grade `` c+ '' , `` c '' , or `` c- '' ( least believable ) . these grades incorporate all the available photometric and spectroscopic information for each object ; the remaining 7 do not have grades because they are galaxies based on the follow - up spectroscopy .
we have spectroscopy for 114 of the 148 objects , 90 of which are optical spectra that have been analyzed
. we can report stellar spectral types for 83 ( @xmath090% ) of those ( again , the remaining 7 are galaxies ) .
although we have biased our spectroscopic followup towards the brighter objects , such a low rate of finding galaxies gives us confidence that our yso selection process is reasonably successful in that it finds many more stars than galaxies .
note that , while all the `` new members '' are also grade a objects , not all grade a objects are `` new members '' because of the need for additional data in many cases .
the 83 stellar objects include newly confirmed ysos and objects that will most likely turn out to be background giants when more data are acquired .
there are 34 new members , 3 probable new members , 10 possible new members , 7 extragalactic objects , 1 other object ( be star ) , 60 stars needing additional follow - up observations , and 33 pending any follow - up observations .
all of the individual seds appear in appendix [ sec : seds ] . combining the 34 new members of taurus , 3 probable new members , and 10 possible new members
yields a total of 47 new objects of various shades of confidence .
this represents an increase of @xmath020% ( by number ) over the previously - identified members covered by our map . of the remaining 148 objects less the 47 new taurus members ( new , probable new , and possible new ) , 60 more objects have optical spectra resembling stars , but we need additional data to distinguish these potentially interesting ( often transition disk - type sed ) objects from background giants or foreground objects ( using , e.g. , lithium abundances , radial velocities , proper motions , etc . ; these are in the `` needs additional followup '' category ) .
if they turn out to be non - members , the ir excess we observe needs to be explained .
finally , 33 await additional data beyond the spitzer photometry to confirm or refute their new taurus membership status ( `` pending followup '' ) .
thus , more new objects could still be in this data set . for completeness , the remaining 148 - 47 objects are also listed in table [ tab : newmembers ] , sorted by their category , such that the objects we grade as most likely to be new members appear at the top of the list . since we have a wealth of data at other wavelengths , it is possible that we can find some additional evidence for youth for our potential new taurus members among them .
for example , young stars are known to be bright in x - rays and ultraviolet .
we did in fact include the information below in our ultimate ranking of the objects ( see [ sec : gradations ] ) .
the xest fields were optimized to cover the previously identified yso population , and do not cover our entire spitzer field . out of the previously identified ysos ,
107 of 215 are detected in x - rays , and 50 are detected by the xmm - newton om ( in ultraviolet ) .
out of the entire 148 star list of potential new taurus members , 7 are detected in x - rays ( 041940.4 + 270100=xest-16 - 024 , 042215.6 + 265706=xest-11 - 078 , 042936.0 + 243555=xest-13 - 010 , 043326.2 + 224529=xest-17 - 036 , 043456.9 + 225835=xest-08 - 003 , 043542.0 + 225222=xest-08 - 033 , and 044125.7 + 254349=xest-07 - 032 ) , and 2 are also detected by the xmm - newton om ( 042215.6 + 265706=xest-11 - 078=xest-11-om-122 and 042936.0 + 243555=xest-13 - 010=xest-13-om-002 ) .
these objects are noted in table [ tab : newysot3 ] .
the two objects detected in both x - rays and the xmm - newton om are already confirmed new members . of the remaining objects detected in x - rays ,
there are three more confirmed new members , one probable , one possible , and two pending additional follow - up ; five of them appear in scelsi et al .
( 2007 ) as potential members ( see table [ tab : newysot3 ] ) .
the sdss stripes do not cover our entire field either , but they provide @xmath64-band observations for those regions they do cover ; however , extinction strongly affects the numbers of objects detected . out of the 215 previously identified taurus members ,
109 are detected at sdss @xmath64 ; out of the 148 stars we list as potential new members , 63 are detected at sdss @xmath64 ( 18 of which are confirmed new members ) . out of those objects ,
33 have apparent uv excesses above the locus formed by _ all _ of the objects in our catalog with sloan @xmath65 photometry ( 17 of these 33 are confirmed , probable , or possible new members ) .
these objects are noted in table [ tab : newysot3 ] . as can be seen in table [ tab : newmembers ] ,
many of the new objects are quite close to previously - identified taurus objects .
figure [ fig : location ] shows the projected location of the sample of previously identified ysos , the new yso candidates we have selected , and those new yso candidates with the results of the spectroscopy folded in . because one of the goals of this project is to look for widely distributed taurus members , we did not restrict our search for new objects to the regions already occupied by taurus members . while proximity to previously identified ysos was a component in our ranking scheme , it was only one of many criteria ( [ sec : gradations ] ) .
as can be seen in figure [ fig : location ] , the new candidate objects are generally more isotropically distributed than the previously identified members . however , most of the new taurus members tend to be found near the previously identified taurus members .
there is a new loose grouping of ysos found near ( @xmath66)=(70,24 ) .
further spectroscopic results are needed to complete our search for an extended population of ysos in taurus .
figure [ fig : imf ] shows a histogram of the spectral types of the previously - identified taurus members plus the 34 confirmed new objects ; most of the new objects are m spectral types
one is `` early k '' , one is a k5e , four are k7-m0 , and the rest are m stars . of the probable new members , there are 1 m star , one a star , and 1 `` @xmath6m0 '' ; of the possible new members , there are 2 m stars , and the rest are k4 or earlier ( 1 late f , 2 g stars , 5 k stars ) .
these earlier types are less secure new members because they have small ir excesses and/or weak h@xmath1 .
most of the 47 new objects ( 32 of them ) are yso class ii .
figure [ fig : imf ] shows a histogram of the types of the previously - identified objects plus the 32 confirmed new objects .
there are five `` flat '' ysos in the 32 new objects , one class i , and 4 class iiis ; the rest are class ii .
having established the location and spectral type distribution of the new members relative to the established members , we now investigate the sed properties of the ensemble . figure [ fig : netsed ] shows representations of the seds for all of the 215 previously identified taurus members with @xmath5 detections ( on the left ) , and the 34 confirmed members discovered using the spitzer data ( on the right ) .
note that ( a ) these seds are normalized to @xmath5 ( objects missing @xmath5due to saturation are not included , so a total of 211 previously - identified taurus members are shown ) , and ( b ) the seds appear individually in the appendix below , see [ sec : seds ] .
we have normalized to @xmath5 because we wished to investigate the variation of the shapes of the seds , not their relative intrinsic brightness and/or extinction ; @xmath5 provides a value available for most objects ( see table [ tab : sampleproperties1new ] ) and is an admittedly imperfect compromise between disk and photosphere emission . for each wavelength
, there are very broad , non - gaussian distributions of points . in the optical in particular , but also at wavelengths at least as long as 24 @xmath2 m ( see , e.g. , bary et al . 2007 ) , the intrinsic variability of the objects can contribute significantly to the scatter .
the figure uses box plots ; these box plots have been used in other papers ( e.g. , rebull et al .
2006 ; flaccomio et al .
2003 ) as a mechanism for interpreting scatter plots . for each of the wavelength points ,
the boxes capture the median and the first and third quartiles of the distribution in @xmath29 ( including measurements only , not limits ) .
the lines extend to the most extreme values that are not more than 1.5 times the interquartile range , and the circles are those points outside 1.5 times the interquartile range . for cases like those found in , e.g. , rebull et al .
( 2006 ) , there are upper limits in the distribution , and the kaplan - meier ( k - m ) estimator for censored data can be used to take into account the upper limits present in the data . however , in this present case , for each of the spitzer points , we have both upper and lower limits in the distribution , so the k - m estimator fails .
the offset grey boxes in figure [ fig : netsed ] use all of the upper and lower limits as real detections at the location of the limit .
the influence of the large number of limits can particularly be seen at mips bands , where the lower edges of the box are substantially lower with the limits included as real detections than without .
there are no detections at 160 @xmath2 m among the 34 new member stars , so only limits can be used .
the solid line near the medians is the `` median taurus sed '' from dalessio et al .
it is clear that we have not compensated for reddening in the optical bands , as the dalessio sed is significantly above our medians at blue wavelengths ( shorter than 1 @xmath2 m ) .
( dalessio et al .
individually dereddened the seds before combining them to get the median ; we would need to apply a reddening of about @xmath67=0.8 to the dalessio median sed to make it match our median sed . )
the dalessio sed tracks the rest of our medians reasonably closely , although it must be noted that our medians include all of the taurus members , not just the k5-m2s , and not just the stars with infrared excesses .
our medians are slightly below the dalessio sed at 4.5 - 8 @xmath2 m , more below the dalessio sed at 24 @xmath2 m , then on the dalessio sed at 70 @xmath2 m , then above it at 160 @xmath2 m ; in all cases , the medians match within the box , e.g. , between the first and third quartiles .
since there are more lower than upper limits at 24 @xmath2 m , the `` true '' median is likely to be lower still , as can be seen by the location of the grey median line .
similarly , the `` true '' median at 70 and 160 @xmath2 m is likely to be lower than our calculated value . at 160 @xmath2 m in particular , we are likely seeing the effects of sensitivity ; even our upper limits are reasonably shallow , and the location of the grey median line is closer to the dalessio sed .
the medians at each band of the 34 new members are not much different than the medians of the previously - identified members , although they are slightly brighter .
we are unable to find stars without ir excesses using spitzer selection criteria , so we expect our new objects to have larger excesses on average than the entire ensemble of taurus objects . at 70 @xmath2 m ,
the new objects are as a whole much brighter than the previously identified sample . at 24 @xmath2 m
, the median is reasonably comparable but the lower boundary to the box ( e.g. , location of first quartile ) is much brighter for the new objects than for the previously identified sample .
both of these effects are undoubtedly a result of our slight mips bias in source selection ( see [ sec : newsamplesummary ] ) .
we calculated @xmath50 for the previously identified and new candidate taurus members ; see [ sec : finalverdicts ] and tables [ tab : knownysot3 ] and [ tab : newysot3 ] . since @xmath61 is a by - product of this calculation , we present a hertzprung - russell ( hr ) diagram in figure [ fig : hrd ] .
the @xmath68 values appear quantized because the @xmath68 value for each star was assumed based on its spectral type .
the new members , probable new members , and possible new members are indicated separately on this diagram , along with the previously identified and pending samples . most of the highest confidence new members have positions in this diagram quite consistent with the positions of previously - identified taurus members .
all three of the probable new members and just two of the possible new members also have consistent positions .
both the previously identified and new groups have some apparently sub - luminous members , with additional such objects among the sample awaiting more data .
these objects could be sub - luminous due to being , e.g. , edge - on disks , or they might not be members .
further investigation is warranted .
many of the candidates awaiting additional data and/or analysis fall in the pre - main - sequence regime of this diagram , but many do not ; these are likely to turn out to be background dusty giants .
there seems to be a loose clump of new objects near log @xmath68 @xmath0 3.75 , log @xmath61/@xmath69 @xmath70 , and many of the earlier - type objects still awaiting additional data are also considerably too faint .
these objects are probably unlikely to be taurus members they could be background debris disk candidates and are indicated individually in the data tables .
we included the position of the object in the hr diagram in our individual assessment and grading of each object ( [ sec : gradations ] ) .
figure [ fig : hrd ] also shows the @xmath50 vs. log @xmath61/@xmath69 for the sample . due to spitzer s superior sensitivity , resolution , and wavelength coverage vs. iras , the @xmath71 values here are likely to be more reliable than those values presented in , e.g. , cohen , emerson , & beichman ( 1989 ) .
systems with @xmath72 ( e.g. , gv tau ab ) are expected to be disk systems with circumstellar envelopes , and indeed most of the systems in this range show rising or flat spectral energy distributions . systems with @xmath50 of 0.050.2 ( e.g. , dl tau , cy tau ) are expected to be optically thick disks lacking envelopes , with large values indicating more flared disks . most of the known t tauri stars in the cloud fall in this range .
systems with @xmath50 near 0.01 ( e.g. , v410 anon 24 ) are either optically thick disks highly flattened by dust settling , or systems just becoming optically thin as they transition to debris disks .
finally , systems with @xmath73 ( e.g. , v819 tau ) are similar to classical debris disks .
approximately 15 of these are found in the survey , among the previously - identified members combined with the new members .
most of the previously known and new objects have substantial disks or envelopes .
most of the least confident members ( and most of those awaiting more data ) appear to have very tenuous disks .
certainly some legitimate members appear at low @xmath50 as well , so some of these candidates may be legitimate . thus far
, our spectroscopic follow - up suggests very few galaxies are among our yso candidates .
while we have not obtained spectra of every candidate , and our spectroscopic follow - up has generally been of the brighter candidates , it is still important to note that our screening does seem to successfully weed out galaxies . as mentioned above
, there are many discussions in the literature also seeking to identify ysos using spitzer color selections ( e.g. , allen et al .
2004 , padgett et al . 2008b , rebull et al .
2007 , harvey et al.2007 , gutermuth et al . 2008 ) . in this section
, we compare our color selection to two other popular color selection mechanisms .
harvey et al . ( 2007 ) describes the c2d / gould s belt method , which works with large - scale maps of star - forming regions similar to that for taurus . with the mitigation of extragalactic contamination as a primary goal , harvey et al .
( 2007 ) apply several color cuts and use shape / fitting information from the c2d pipeline , combined with manual examination of the spitzer images .
the gutermuth et al .
( 2008 ) criteria are being used by several different groups , including the irac gto team , and is designed to find ysos despite a wide variation of extinction values and nebulosity found in star - forming clusters within 1 kpc .
we note that this method has been recently updated in gutermuth et al .
( 2009 ) , though the changes to the method are considered relatively small by the authors , and are not implemented here . in this section
, we have the goal of determining whether we can directly compare , say , the `` yield '' of this survey with those from other star - forming regions studied by other groups .
we conclude that it is not at all straightforward , and direct comparison may not actually be possible because the selection methods are so different .
tables [ tab : othermethods ] and [ tab : othermethods2 ] make an attempt to compare the various methods as we have implemented them , with all the caveats discussed below , but just as it is not easy to compare the `` yield , '' it is not necessarily easy even to compare the methods on a precisely even footing .
note that in order to understand the assumptions that have gone into the numbers in these tables ( or into the classes reported in tables [ tab : knownysot3 ] and [ tab : newysot3 ] ) , reading the text below is critical .
one of the most significant differences between our _ data _ and those used to develop both of the other two methods is the depth of the irac spitzer data that is used as input . with only two 12-sec irac frames per position ,
our data is at least a factor of two shorter integration time ( at least square root of 2 less sensitive ) than the other surveys that were used to construct these other selection methods . on the other hand ,
taurus is also much closer than _ most _ of the other associations considered by the other projects .
sensitivity to legitimate yso cluster members is at least comparable , but more faint contaminating sources will affect deeper surveys .
an important difference between our _ selection mechanism _ and both of the other two methods is the use not just of different color spaces but also of multiple color spaces in serial ( the star is a yso in this one and that one and this other one ) vs. in parallel ( the star is a yso in this one or that one or this other one ) .
table [ tab : othermethods2 ] explicitly lists the color parameter spaces used by each method , but the combination of them is complex and the original paper(s ) for each should be consulted .
to reiterate , our method uses a combination of color cuts in a series of color spaces ( which can be easily applied to other spitzer data sets ) , followed by manual inspection of a variety of properties , including notably high - spatial - resolution optical imaging ( which may not be easily applied to other spitzer data sets ) .
we used color spaces in parallel ( this or that ) and manually examined those sources that met the yso color criteria in _ any _ space ; there are many thousands of objects that were never inspected manually but are still very likely to be stars and similarly many thousands more that are likely to be galaxies based on their colors .
table [ tab : othermethods ] indicates that we started with 122616 objects , of which 98476 had stellar - like colors in at least one of the spaces we investigated .
the overwhelming majority of those , 99% , have colors consistent with stars in _ all _ the spaces we investigated and were never subject to the scrutiny of the yso candidates ; 513 of these were also selected as possible ysos in at least one of the color spaces we investigated , and most have been discarded .
similarly , there are 80995 objects that are classified as galaxies in any of the spaces we investigated , and 99% of those look like galaxies in all the spaces we investigated ; there are 681 that were also selected as possible ysos in at least one of the color spaces we investigated , and most have been discarded .
note too that the numbers of stars / galaxies reported later in this table for the samples of previously - identified ysos and new yso candidates are again the sample of objects selected in _ any _ diagram ; discussion of the sample selected in _ all _ diagrams appeared above .
we now compare the other two specific methods with our method in more detail .
lrrr part that can be considered & 122616 ( 18% ) & 7119 ( 1% ) & @xmath3189003 ( 13% ) + number of stars & 98476 & 965 & 74254 + number of galaxies or other contaminants & 80995 & 4644 & 14176 + number of ysos & 870 & 1510 & 573 + part that can be considered & 206 ( 96% ) & 154 ( 72% ) & @xmath31187 ( 87% ) + number of stars & 172 & 6 & 82 + number of galaxies or other contaminants & 88 & 7 & 2 + number of ysos & 144 & 141 & 103 + part that can be considered & 148 ( 100% ) & 128 ( 86% ) & @xmath31141 ( 95% ) + number of stars & 87 & 0 & 76 + number of galaxies or other contaminants & 116 & 28 & 5 + number of ysos & 148 & 100 & 60 + lccc @xmath74/[24]-[70]$ ] & yes & & + @xmath5/@xmath5@xmath37[24 ] & yes & & + @xmath75/[8]-[24]$ ] & yes & & + @xmath76/[4.5]-[8]$ ] & yes & yes & yes + @xmath77-[4.5]/[5.8]-[8]$ ] & yes & & yes + @xmath74/[8]-[24]$ ] & & yes & + @xmath74/[4.5]-[8]$ ] & & yes & + @xmath78@xmath5/@xmath5@xmath37[4.5 ] & & yes & + @xmath76-[5.8]/[5.8]-[8]$ ] & & & yes + @xmath77-[5.8]/[4.5]-[8]$ ] & & & yes + @xmath77-[4.5]/[4.5]-[5.8]$ ] & & & yes + @xmath5@xmath79/[3.6]-[4.5]$ ] & & & yes + @xmath80@xmath5 & & & yes + @xmath76-[5.8]/[5.8]-[24]$ ] & & & yes + harvey et al .
( 2007 ) describe the criteria used by the c2d team and subsequently the gould s belt team . especially since these results are incorporated into evans et al .
( 2009 ) , which uses statistics of the spitzer - selected sample to determine relative lifetimes of the class 0/i / flat / ii stages , it would be nice to understand how our sample selection compares so that our data on taurus can be compared to the regions studied by these other programs . to reiterate , we used the following parameter spaces to find candidate ysos : ( 1 ) [ 24 ] vs. [ 24]@xmath37[70 ] , * or * ( 2 ) @xmath5 vs. @xmath5@xmath37[24 ] , * or * ( 3 ) [ 8 ] vs. [ 8]@xmath37[24 ] , * or * ( 4 ) [ 4.5 ] vs. [ 4.5]@xmath37[8 ] , * or * ( 5 ) [ 3.6]@xmath37[4.5 ] vs. [ 5.8]@xmath37[8 ] with an additional [ 3.6 ] brightness cutoff , * combined with * ( 6 ) optical ( sdss / cfht ) imaging plus the additional qualitative criteria mentioned in section [ sec : gradations ] above . the c2d analysis described in harvey et al . ( 2007 ) used the following parameter spaces to find candidates , assigning a quantitative probability that the object is a galaxy or yso candidate : ( 1 ) [ 4.5 ] vs. [ 4.5]@xmath37[8 ] , * and * ( 2 ) [ 24 ] vs. [ 8]@xmath37[24 ] , * and * ( 3 ) [ 24 ] vs. [ 4.5]@xmath37[8 ] , * and * ( 4 ) ( if there was a 2mass match ) @xmath81 vs. @xmath82@xmath37[4.5 ] , * and * ( 5 ) fitting ( and removal ) of stars / reddened stars by the c2d pipeline , * and * ( 6 ) shape information gleaned from the c2d pipeline , * and * ( 7 ) manual inspection of the 2mass+irac+mips images , * and * ( 8) manual addition of previously - identified ysos to the list of ysos .
differences between the studies include the following : ( 1 ) only one cmd is the same between the two teams ; ( 2 ) the c2d team is using the intersection of all their cmds , and we are using selection in any one color space ; ( 3 ) the c2d team is using information obtainable only from their pipeline ( shape , star fitting ) ; ( 4 ) the c2d team does not have optical imaging ( though we both examine the spitzer imaging ) ; ( 5 ) the c2d criteria _ require _ detection in all four irac bands , and mips-24 ( they use the 2mass information if it exists ) ; ( 6 ) the c2d pipeline performs psf - fitting photometry in irac and mips , and our pipeline does aperture photometry on irac data and prf - fitting photometry on mips data . in order to attempt a comparison using the best possible criteria , we can of course impose the same color cuts .
we ca nt obtain the shape information because we reduced our photometry differently .
we can approximate the star fitting by dropping the objects with very small colors in all bands . out of the entire @xmath0700,000 object catalog ,
these criteria can only be applied to 1% of the objects ( see table [ tab : othermethods ] ) because of the multiband detection requirement . out of this 1% of the catalog , which is @xmath07100 objects ,
21% are identified as yso candidates ( note that we did not manually examine the images of each of these objects in spitzer or any other bands , whereas the c2d team would have done so ) , 65% are identified as galaxies , and 14% are identified as stars .
note that this does _ not _ mean that a c2d - selected yso candidate sample has 65% contamination , but rather that out of the objects in the catalog to which the c2d criteria can be applied , 65% of these objects are immediately categorized as galaxies . among our set of previously - identified taurus members ,
154 can be classified , but 61 of them ( 29% ) can not be classified in this scheme because of missing bands .
seven of them ( 3% ) are identified as galaxies or other contaminants .
six of them ( 3% ) are classified as stars ( the likely wtts out of the sample ) , and 141 ( 92% ) are identified as ysos . as intended , this selection mechanism ( even as we have implemented it ) is strongly biased towards ysos .
this sample of previously known ysos can not tell us about the contamination rate , but it can tell us about the fraction of objects that might be missed ; a c2d - based yso selection operating on this sample would miss @xmath05% of the ysos with detections in all the requisite bands and infrared excesses .
the c2d classifications for these previously identified members are listed in table [ tab : knownysot3 ] ; the same information for the new candidate members is in table [ tab : newysot3 ] . among our new candidate objects ,
perhaps unsurprisingly , there is a higher fraction of contaminants .
the multi - band detection requirement means that 14% ( 20 objects ) can not be classified . among the remainder of the sample
, there are 28 ( 19% ) likely galaxies ( or other contaminants ) , no stars ( which makes sense because we are only selecting objects with ir excesses ) , and 100 ( 68% ) likely ysos in this attempt to use the c2d criteria on our sample .
happily , the yso candidates compose the largest fraction of our sample . the c2d criteria require selection in each of the spitzer - based cmds or ccds ; our selection requires selection in just one of the cmds or ccds .
we have noted above in [ sec : newsamplesummary ] the effects of instead requiring selection in each of our cmds or ccds .
we note again here that , aside from the previously identified members , the number of new potential members is comparable to the contaminant hit rate .
the c2d criteria require a 24 @xmath2 m detection and we are strongly biased towards objects with a 24 @xmath2 m detection , so this is perhaps not surprising .
gutermuth et al .
( 2008 ) , in their section 4.1 and appendix , describe a multi - step weeding process .
they require detection in all four irac bands for most of the process , although they allow for semi - manual addition of objects missing some bands .
the number of sources that can be considered as input for this process which appears in table [ tab : othermethods ] attempts to represent this semi - manual addition ; there are 89003 objects seen at all 4 irac bands , and 76522 that are seen at jh@xmath5[3.6][4.5 ] but not [ 5.8 ] or [ 8 ] , and these two components represent the bulk of the sources that can be considered . additional provision is made in this method for bright , red objects detected at [ 24 ] but not all four irac bands , and for stars with 24 @xmath2 m excess ; since this represents addition of a few thousand sources to the 165525 sources already considered , a @xmath31 symbol is used in the table .
the gutermuth method also works in dereddened colors for some criteria , requiring a high - spatial - resolution @xmath36map , which we do not have and thus can not implement exactly in a parallel fashion .
we note too that the gutermuth et al .
criteria relies mostly on the [ 4.5]@xmath37[5.8 ] color to avoid effects of reddening that may be found at 3.6 @xmath2 m .
since the overall median @xmath36 towards taurus is low ( @xmath36@xmath03 , which has a very small effect on 3.6 @xmath2 m ) , we did not deredden our colors , and simply applied the gutermuth et al .
criteria to our observed colors .
we did not semi - manually add objects to the list following their section 4.2 , and we added a few criteria to remove some blue objects found in our catalog ; to their `` embedded '' criteria , we added an additional [ 5.8]@xmath37[8]@[email protected] and [ 3.6]@xmath37[4.5]@[email protected] , and to their `` class ii '' criteria , we added [ 3.6]@xmath37[4.5]@[email protected] .
two of the many color parameter spaces that gutermuth et al .
use are the same as ours ; see table [ tab : othermethods2 ] .
differences between the gutermuth criteria and ours include the following : ( 1 ) only two cmds are the same between the methods , ( 2 ) the gutermuth method sometimes uses the intersection of the color spaces ( like c2d ) and sometimes takes selection in just one color space as sufficient ( like us ) , ( 3 ) the gutermuth method provides for a semi - manual addition of likely yso objects , based on color cuts , ( 4 ) the gutermuth method does not require intensive manual examination of multi - band images , ( 5 ) the gutermuth method , though multi - step , can be applied to any spitzer+2mass catalog of a star - forming region , and is not dependent on products of pipelines or the presence of ancillary data ( modulo reddening corrections ) , and ( 6 ) the gutermuth method , as properly applied , needs an @xmath36 map and needs to work in dereddened colors . in order to attempt a comparison using the best possible criteria ,
we have imposed the same basic color cuts , and , because of the low overall @xmath36 towards taurus , we have continued to work in the observed color space , and not dereddened anything .
we have not semi - manually added objects to the yso candidate list ( as per gutermuth s phase 2 or phase 3 ) .
because of the multi - band detections necessary , these criteria can not be applied to most of the entire @xmath0700,000 object catalog ; even with the semi - manual addition of sources allowed for in this method , between 50 - 75% of the catalog do not have enough detections to be included ( see table [ tab : othermethods ] ) , but the process of semi - manual addition of sources is likely to catch most legitimate ysos in the catalog . the sample with 4-band irac detections
is easiest to handle automatically , and out of this sample , 83% are dropped as stars , 16% are dropped as contaminants of any of a variety of kinds , 282 ( 0.3% ) are embedded objects ( class 0/i or flat ) , and 291 ( 0.3% ) are class ii objects . among our set of previously - identified taurus members , 28 of them ( 13% )
can not be classified because of missing bands .
just 2 are dropped as contaminants and 82 ( 38% ) are classified as stars ; 15 ( 7% ) are identified as `` embedded '' and 87 ( 41% ) are identified as class ii . again , as intended , this selection mechanism ( even as we have implemented it ) is strongly biased towards ysos .
the gutermuth et al .
classifications ( in more finely - grained detail ) for the previously known objects are in table [ tab : knownysot3 ] and those for our new candidate members are listed in table [ tab : newysot3 ] . among our new candidate objects ,
95% can be considered , 76 ( 51% ) are classified as stars , 5 ( 3% ) are contaminants , and 60 ( 41% ) are yso candidates ( 21 objects are identified as embedded and 39 are identified as class ii ) .
there is a slightly higher fraction of contaminants in the new sample than among the previously identified sample .
we note that the overwhelming majority of objects that we dropped as a result of the review described in [ sec : gradations ] were classified as contaminants using the gutermuth classifications .
we also note that the classification that we derive from a fit to all available points between @xmath5 and 24 @xmath2 m is in good agreement with the gutermuth et al . sed classification except in higher - extinction situations , as expected .
comparing the different methods is clearly not at all straightforward .
the differences are much more than simply different data reduction methods ( aperture vs. psf - fitting photometry ) or survey depths .
the different color spaces that each study investigates , and the different assumptions that are made ( e.g. , orring vs. anding the color selection ) can be seen most clearly in the different results when considering the set of previously identified taurus members .
since not all of the previously identified taurus members have strong ir excesses , it is not surprising that no spitzer - based method retrieves all of them .
interestingly , the gutermuth et al .
selection mechanism returns a higher fraction of previously identified members without infrared excesses than the c2d method .
direct comparison of the ysos retrieved in this paper ( or over the taurus molecular cloud as a whole ) to any other association is not easy because the selection methods are so different .
unfortunately , numbers from this study can not simply be dropped into tables from these other studies .
even if we were to re - reduce our data in exactly the same way as the other studies , a direct comparison would be difficult .
even the contaminant rates are hard to compare .
since all of the follow - up data has yet to be acquired for our candidate objects , it is hard to do a final assessment of our contamination rate . out of the 80 objects with spectra reported here , at least 45% are new members , and at least 10% are contaminants .
over 44 square degrees , including the previously identified plus the new confirmed objects , we recover at least 4.3 ysos per square degree , and at least 0.18 contaminants per square degree .
the c2d method was derived primarily using the c2d observations of serpens ( and swire ) , and harvey et al .
( 2007 ) estimates of order 0 - 1 contaminants in their 0.85 square degrees . scaling this up to our @xmath044 square degree map
, we then would expect @xmath050 contaminants in our map using the c2d method !
oliveira et al .
( 2009 ) carry out follow - up spectroscopy for the c2d serpens sample , and find higher contamination ( 25% ) than was originally estimated in harvey et al .
however , these contaminants are primarily agb stars , which should not be as much of a contaminant source in the taurus map , given the lower galactic latitude of serpens ( 5@xmath32 ) as compared with taurus ( @xmath35 ) .
gutermuth et al .
( 2008 ) estimate @xmath01 contaminant left in their 40@xmath8330@xmath84(=0.33 deg@xmath85 ) map .
scaling up to 44 square degrees , then we would expect @xmath0130 contaminants .
however , we expect that the actual contamination is much less because this method has been tested on several maps , including larger ones .
as more follow - up data are obtained for this and the other associations , a more direct comparison of the complete yso inventories in these clouds will eventually be possible .
rebull et al .
( 2006 ) and cieza & baliber ( 2007 ) found a correlation between irac excesses and rotation rates in orion and ngc 2264 .
taurus is one of the first associations in which rotation of young stars was studied ( see , e.g. , edwards et al .
1993 ) , but there are still only 32 stars with measured periods ( see gedel et al . 2007 , and references therein , and grankin et al .
2008 ) and irac photometry in our catalog .
figure [ fig : rotation ] shows the rotation rate against disk excess for those stars .
the relationship seen here , where the slowest rotators are much more likely than the fast rotators to have disks , is consistent with what has been found in the other associations .
we have presented here spitzer flux densities for 215 previously - identified members of the taurus molecular cloud young stellar object population .
we constructed spitzer color - color and color - magnitude diagrams , investigated where the previously identified taurus members were located , and then used those diagrams to select additional candidate taurus objects out of a catalog of @xmath0700,000 objects observed with spitzer over 44 square degrees .
we used a wealth of supporting data ( including ground - based optical imaging ) to winnow that list down to 148 candidate new taurus members .
we obtained follow - up optical spectroscopy for about half the sample , thus far finding 34 new members , 3 probable new members , and 10 possible new members , a potential increase of 15 - 20% of young taurus members .
most of the new members are located in close ( projected ) proximity to the previously - identified taurus members ; most of them are class ii m stars .
in addition to the new members in our sample , there are 60 stars needing additional follow - up observations , and 33 objects pending any follow - up observations at all , so more taurus members may yet be confirmed out of our list of candidate members .
we also found a background be star , a new planetary nebula , a new carbon star , many background giants , and 100s of galaxies , just 7 of which made it into our final list of 148 yso candidates .
as part of this project s classification as a spitzer legacy project , enhanced data products have been delivered back to the spitzer science center ( ssc ) , including the catalogs on which this present paper is based .
this study has demonstrated the unique power of spitzer to efficiently survey large areas of the sky and provide new information on membership and yso properties even in nearby star forming regions such as taurus , which has been extensively studied for decades . even after many decades of study ,
our knowledge of membership in taurus is still incomplete , but definitely improving , thanks to spitzer .
for each of the previously - identified taurus members , and each of the new candidate members , we provide an sed here in this on - line - only appendix .
notation is as follows : triangles xmm - newton om , @xmath44literature johnson photometry , * sloan photometry , @xmath39cfht photometry , diamonds2mass , circles
irac , squares mips .
limits for any band are indicated by arrows .
the wavelength is in microns ; @xmath29 is in cgs units ( erg s@xmath13 cm@xmath12 ) .
each plot has the sst tau catalog number and , if relevant , a more common name . for reference ,
the iras psc all - sky completeness limits at 12 , 25 , 60 , and 100 @xmath2 m for a region outside of the galactic plane are 0.4 , 0.5 , 0.6 , 1.0 jy , respectively .
these limits would appear in the figure at log@[email protected] , @xmath3710.22 , @xmath3710.52 , and @xmath3710.52 .
lll 041936.1 + 271731 & & new object ; cfht imaging suggests pn + 043723.4 + 250242 & pn g174.2 - 14.6 & well - studied pn + 043748.2 + 254926 & c * 228 & well - studied carbon star + 042818.5 + 253140 & v414 tau & well - studied carbon star + 043250.3 + 294239 & iras04296 + 2936 & new ( ? ) carbon star + 043724.8 + 270919 & sv * svs 1085 , hd283751 & new ( ? ) be background giant + 043939.9 + 252034 & jh 225 & b9 with substantial @xmath36 + 042021.2 + 272102 & phi tau & literature giant
+ 042136.8 + 282458 & hd 283570 & literature giant
+ 043238.9 + 235825 & iras 04296 + 2352 & literature giant
+ 043858.2 + 263108 & elia 3 - 14 & literature giant
+ 043926.9 + 255259 & elia 3 - 15 & literature giant + 043938.8 + 261126 & elia 3 - 16 & literature giant + 044057.4 + 255413 & [ tns87 ] 8 & literature giant + 042907.6 + 244350 & elias 3 - 6 & background giant ; name incorrectly associated with iras 04260 + 2437 and hh 414 + 041324.4 + 290722 & hds 537 & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m5 + 041443.5 + 281708 & [ wsb2007 ] j041443.5 + 281708 & bright , assumed to be giant + 041943.4 + 272056 & & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m3 + 042115.2 + 272101 & hd 27482 & bright , assumed to be giant + 042344.1 + 225753 & v1142 tau & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m2 + 042344.1 + 225757 & & bright , assumed to be giant + 042345.3 + 234503 & iras 04207 + 2338 & bright , assumed to be giant + 042517.3 + 280440 & iras 04221 + 2757 & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m5 + 042519.3 + 261701 & iras 04222 + 2610 & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m4 + 042630.0 + 255344 & iras 04234 + 2547 & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m6 + 042731.3 + 270958 & iras 04244 + 2703 & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m9 + 042805.4 + 284433 & & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is k6 + 042955.3 + 225857 & iras 04269 + 2252= 2mass 04295531 + 2258579 & bright , assumed to be giant ( also shenoy et al . object ) ; our type is m8 + 043121.1 + 265842 & & bright , assumed to be giant ( also shenoy et al .
object ) ; our type is m8 + 043248.0 + 223952 & gsc 01829 - 01009 = 2mass j04324806 + 2239523 & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m9 + 043453.4 + 270534 & 2mass j04345345 + 2705346 & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is k7 with substantial @xmath36 + 043706.6 + 214241 & & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is k2 - 3 + 043856.3 + 271642 & hd 283753 & bright , assumed to be giant ; literature type is f6iii + 044118.4 + 240157 & & bright , assumed to be giant ( also shenoy et al .
object ) ; our type is m5 + 044401.6 + 252014 & do 10700 & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m5 + 044435.0 + 250108 & & bright , assumed to be giant ( also shenoy et al .
object ) ; our type is m9 + 044510.7 + 244156 & irc + 20091 & bright , assumed to be giant ; our type is m8 + 044659.2 + 253657 & irc + 30094 = 2mass j04465929 + 2536575 & bright , assumed to be giant + 041501.1 + 250432 & & our type is g8-k0 + 041539.2 + 235344 & & ( unobserved ) + 041643.3 + 244717&nltt 12897 & ( unobserved ) + 041702.9 + 242425 & & our type is k0-k2 + 041707.0 + 293104 & & our type is k3 + 041734.0 + 240153 & & our type is g6 + 041934.0 + 252302 & & our type is k2 + 042216.3 + 262635 & & our type is g3-g5 + 042359.7 + 251452 & & our type is m4 + 042414.2 + 252350 & & our type is f5 + 042635.1 + 254223 & & our type is g6 + 042739.6 + 254208 & & our type is f0 + 042834.4 + 262104 & & ( unobserved ) +
042859.4 + 273625 & & our type is b9-a0 w/ substantial @xmath36 + 043040.8 + 235034 & & our type is f6 + 043203.7 + 241223 & & our type is f0 + 043223.4 + 230059 & & our type is k2-k3 w/ substantial @xmath36 + 043237.5 + 292556 & & our type is f0 + 043254.0 + 294538 & & our type is g6-k0 + 043304.9 + 253705 & & our type is k0-k2 + 043335.6 + 242800&2mass j04333567 + 2428004 & our type is k2
w/ substantial @xmath36 + 043348.2 + 274400 & & our type is f0 + 043354.3 + 285413 & & ( unobserved ) + 043433.3 + 244312&iras
04315 + 2436 & our type is m5 + 043458.8 + 240958&2mass j04345881 + 2409587 & our type is k2 + 043544.2 + 215743 & & our type is f0 + 043822.9 + 221048 & & our type is k2-k3 + 043853.4 + 251909 & & our type is f8 + 044018.8 + 243234 & & our type is g5 + 044146.7 + 253824&[thl2004 ] 2mass tmrs23 & reported as potential taurus member in literature + 044216.7 + 263917 & & our type is k2 + 044329.3 + 260818 & & our type is k1 + 044334.9 + 263505 & & our type is g8-k2 + 044348.0 + 242723 & & our type is k0-k2 + 044415.9 + 255300 & & our type is f1 + 044453.1 + 261257 & & our type is a9-f0 + 044700.1 + 242745 & & our type is g8-k2 + 044734.9 + 234528 & & our type is m2 + 044827.1 + 263006 & & our type is f0-f1 + 044931.5 + 244935 & & our type is k5 + 041136.6 + 293522 & & likely galaxy + 041351.6 + 263819&2masx 04135166 + 2638195 & likely galaxy + 041447.7 + 254956&2masx 04144776 + 2549564 & likely galaxy + 041525.4 + 245339&2masx 04152538 + 2453388 & likely galaxy + 041529.1 + 245942 & & likely galaxy
+ 041556.9 + 261559 & & likely galaxy + 041613.6 + 253134&2masx 04161364 + 2531351 & likely galaxy + 041711.4 + 282157 & & likely galaxy
+ 041718.0 + 291940 & & likely galaxy
+ 041742.5 + 275427 & & likely galaxy
+ 041756.2 + 250622 & & likely galaxy
+ 041829.1 + 285127 & & likely galaxy + 041842.1 + 283543 & & likely galaxy + 041843.7 + 250715 & & likely galaxy + 041903.8 + 271552 & & likely galaxy
+ 041916.1 + 250413 & & likely galaxy
+ 041929.7 + 253802 & & likely galaxy
+ 041950.1 + 251009 & & likely galaxy
+ 042043.7 + 252715 & & likely galaxy
+ 042047.0 + 282000 & & likely galaxy + 042140.8 + 282611&2masx 04214085 + 2826119 & likely galaxy ; spectroscopically confirmed xgal + 042159.7 + 234810 & & likely galaxy
+ 042252.9 + 225507&2masx 04225293 + 2255071 & likely galaxy ; spectroscopically confirmed xgal + 042257.6 + 243206 & & likely galaxy
+ 042342.1 + 235903 & & likely galaxy + 042343.7 + 245945 & & likely galaxy + 042417.0 + 234144 & & likely galaxy + 042417.9 + 272942 & & likely galaxy + 042429.2 + 224613 & & likely galaxy + 042521.7 + 262249&2masx 04252174 + 2622493 & likely galaxy + 042634.9 + 260816&2mass j04263497 + 2608161 & likely galaxy ; spectroscopically confirmed xgal + 042654.0 + 262921 & & likely galaxy
+ 042843.2 + 274001 & & likely galaxy
+ 043028.2 + 280420 & & likely galaxy
+ 043044.5 + 282640 & & likely galaxy
+ 043114.1 + 245838 & & likely galaxy + 043205.6 + 220627 & & likely galaxy
+ 043241.0 + 251308 & & likely galaxy + 043303.9 + 280846 & & likely galaxy + 043329.4 + 262052 & & likely galaxy + 043407.2 + 280154 & & likely galaxy ; very noisy spectrum , could be consistent with
low - z galaxy or late g / early k + 043446.1 + 290451&2masx 04344611 + 2904516 & identified by both gutermuth and c2d methods as likely yso , but sed suggests likely galaxy ; spectroscopically confirmed xgal + 043456.7 + 232501&2masx 04345670 + 2325016 & likely galaxy
+ 043513.3 + 232449 & & likely galaxy
+ 043516.1 + 213943 & & likely galaxy
+ 043712.3 + 260733 & & likely galaxy
+ 043820.5 + 215748&2masx 04382057 + 2157489 & likely galaxy
+ 043828.3 + 253223 & & likely galaxy + 043931.8 + 214742 & & likely galaxy + 043958.0 + 253354 & & likely galaxy
+ 044114.8 + 253242 & & likely galaxy + 044308.1 + 240957 & & likely galaxy + 044554.8 + 240843&iras04428 + 2403 & galaxy ; listed by kenyon et al .
( 2008 ) as confirmed taurus member + 044614.5 + 253100 & & likely galaxy + 044717.7 + 234529&2masx 04471766 + 2345296 & likely galaxy + 044933.6 + 234518 & & likely galaxy + lll 041803.3 + 244009 & 2mass 04180338 + 2440096 & needs additional follow - up ; our type is a9 + 041810.7 + 251957 & [ gbm90 ] l1506 1 & probable new member , our type is k8-m0 + 041823.2 + 251928 & 2mass 04182321 + 2519280 & needs additional follow - up ; our type is g : + 042212.9 + 254659 & 2mass 04221295 + 2546598 & pending follow - up + 042518.6 + 255535 & 2mass 04251866 + 2555359 & shenoy et al .
object ; needs additional follow - up ; our type is m5 .
+ 042920.8 + 274207 & 2mass 04292083 + 2742074 & possible new member ; our type is m6 .
+ 043024.1 + 281916 & 2mass 04302414 + 2819165 & shenoy et al .
object ; needs additional follow - up ; our type is m5 + 043042.8 + 274329 & 2mass 04304284 + 2743299 & shenoy et al .
object ; needs additional follow - up ; our type is m6 + 043228.1 + 271122 & 2mass 04322815 + 2711228 & shenoy et al .
object ; needs additional follow - up ; our type is m6 + 043344.6 + 261500 & 2mass 04334465 + 2615005 & new member ; shenoy et al .
object ; our type is m6e + 043435.4 + 264406 & 2mass 04343549 + 2644062 & shenoy et al .
object ; needs additional follow - up ; our type is m3 + 044125.7 + 254349 & 2mass 04412575 + 2543492 & pending follow - up + 044539.8 + 251704 & 2mass 04453986 + 2517045 & shenoy et al .
object ; needs additional follow - up ; our type is m5 + 044557.0 + 244042 & 2mass 04455704 + 2440423 & needs additional follow - up ; our type is k2 + 044639.8 + 242526 & 2mass 04463986 + 2425260 & shenoy et al .
object ; needs additional follow - up ; our type is m5 +
in the process of conducting our detailed source - by - source examination , we encountered many objects with yso - like colors that were not ysos , such as plantary nebulae and carbon stars . in some cases , these objects are new discoveries , or our observations shed new light on the nature of the object . based on imaging , we may have discovered a planetary nebula : sst tau 041936.1 + 271731 .
it appears bright at 24 and 70 @xmath2 m , but cfht imaging reveals a circularly symmetric structure that strongly suggests a planetary nebula .
we have not yet obtained follow - up spectroscopy .
pn g174.2 - 14.6 ( = 043723.4 + 250242 ) is a well - studied planetary nebula ( 55 references are given in simbad ) .
it appears to have yso - like colors in [ 24 ] vs. [ 24]@xmath37[70 ] , [ 8 ] vs. [ 8]@xmath37[24 ] , [ 4.5 ] vs.@xmath37[8 ] ( although it appears as faint enough to likely be a galaxy here ) , and the irac color - color diagram .
we ruled it out as a yso candidate based on the literature early on in our weeding process .
c * 228 ( 043748.2 + 254926 ) is a previously identified carbon star .
it has yso - like colors in [ 24 ] vs. [ 24]@xmath37[70 ] and [ 8 ] vs. [ 8]@xmath37[24 ] .
we ruled it out as a yso candidate based on the literature early on in our weeding process .
two of the objects we selected initially as yso candidates turned out to be carbon stars when we obtained spectra : 043250.3 + 294239 ( = iras 04296 + 2936 ) and 042818.5 + 253140 ( = v414 tau ) . iras 04296
+ 2936 appears to have no references in simbad and may therefore be a newly discovered carbon star ; v414 tau appears in a handful of publications as a carbon star , including alksnis et al .
( 2001 ) . iras 04296 + 2936
has a significantly reddened spectrum , at least in comparison to v414 tau .
the 2mass nir @xmath4@xmath5 photometry for these objects are 8.02 , 6.59 , and 5.64 for iras 04296 + 2936 , 7.28 , 6.11 , and 5.49 for v414 tau ; c * 228 is only unsaturated at @xmath86 and is 3.38 mag .
these first two objects both have colors considerably redder than those for carbon giants or dwarfs as appearing in lowrance et al .
( 2003 ) , and all three are very much brighter than those in lowrance et al .
if they are carbon dwarfs , they would have to be considerably closer than taurus , as in @xmath010 pc .
however , they are so red in @xmath52 that they are most likely giants ; they are so bright that they are most likely background objects , behind the taurus molecular cloud .
thus far , we have found 3 carbon stars with yso - like colors in this @xmath044 square degree survey .
it is possible , indeed likely , that more carbon stars are in our survey , but have not been identified as such .
one of the stars we selected as a yso candidate based on three of our color spaces , 043724.8 + 270919 ( also known as sv * svs 1085=hd 283751 ) , has h@xmath1 strongly in emission , and we classify it as a b8e .
we do not have any optical photometry for it , but its 2mass @xmath4@xmath5 are 9.79 , 9.55 , and 9.30 mags , respectively . using its @xmath5 mag and assuming no reddening ( as a worst - case but clearly incorrect scenario ) , and comparing the observed @xmath5 to that expected for young stars , we calculate a distance of @xmath0700 pc .
it seems to be a be star well behind the taurus cloud .
043939.9 + 252034 ( jh 225 ) is listed in the literature as likely non - member based solely on high proper motions .
we find that it is a b9 with substantial @xmath36 .
its 2mass @xmath4@xmath5 are 9.48 , 9.01 , and 8.73 mags , respectively .
as we did above , we calculate a distance of 600 pc .
it is also unlikely to be truly a member of taurus , but additional follow - up is needed .
it does not have emission lines .
since these objects were selected as yso candidates , flux densities appear in the tables above , and seds appear in appendix [ sec : seds ] .
table [ tab : miscobj ] includes several bright objects either assumed or confirmed to be background giants .
several giants are confirmed in the literature ( via spectroscopy ) as being giants , but are selected in at least one of our color spaces as being yso candidates .
we ruled these out as yso candidates based on the literature early on in our weeding process .
elias 3 - 6 ( sst tau j042907.6 + 244350 ) has often appeared in lists of taurus cloud members .
there has been confusion in the literature about its iras association , with a mistaken identification with iras 04264 + 2433 ( the hh 414 jet source ) often quoted ( e.g. , motte and andre 2001 ) .
elias 3 - 6 is actually iras 04260 + 2437 . at @xmath5=2.85 ,
it is much brighter than any known taurus member , is saturated in the spitzer irac bands , and shows a [ 24]@xmath37[70 ] color of 0.04 mag that is consistent with a bright photosphere .
elias et al .
( 1978 ) classify it as a field m8 iii giant with 6 mag of visual extinction .
the spitzer results are fully consistent with elias original result that this object is not a taurus member
. we drop it from the list as a background giant .
several objects listed in table [ tab : miscobj ] are very , very bright in our survey , and we have assumed primarily based on brightness ( and the fact that they seem to have little legitimate ir excess as far as we can determine ) that they are background giants .
several of them were selected in at least one of our color spaces as potential ysos ( given the available photometry points ; in many cases later inspection of these images suggested that they were probably saturated , or at least in the non - linear regime ) . in some of those cases , since we wondered if they could be ysos , we obtained spectra of them ; the resultant spectral type is listed in table [ tab : miscobj ] for use by the community in future studies .
several objects appeared upon early inspection to have significant ir excesses at spitzer bands , and thus we obtained spectra of them .
however , upon re - examination , we determined that the ir excesses we detect were not significantly above the expected photosphere .
since these objects are no longer yso candidates , they do not appear in tables in the main body of the text above nor in seds below .
however , since we obtained spectra for many of them , we still report them here for use by the community .
they are listed in table [ tab : miscobj ] .
eight objects show up as having yso - like colors in at least one of the color spaces we investigated and are reported as spectroscopically confirmed non - members by luhman et al .
( 2006 , 2009b ) .
each of these objects are ones that we had independently discarded as likely galaxies based on inspection of our optical imaging : 041916.1 + 275048 , 042754.4 + 242414 , 042336.9 + 252628 , 042535.5 + 245739 , 043027.1 + 280707 , 043401.8 + 231906 , 043502.0 + 233141 , and 044554.8 + 240843 .
this further demonstrates the critical importance of high - spatial - resolution optical imaging in refining a yso candidate list selected based on spitzer data , before using valuable spectroscopic telescope time to refute or confirm stellar nature and youth .
iras 04428 + 2403 ( ssttau 044554.8 + 240843 ) appears in kenyon et al.(2008 ) listed as a confirmed member of taurus .
however , it appears in two prior papers in the literature , one which identifies it as a galaxy ( chamaraux et al .
1995 ) , and the other which ( kenyon et al.1994 ) identifies it as only an unconfirmed taurus member . by inspection of all our available imaging
( prior to identifying it with a literature object ) , we classified it as a galaxy based on its appearance in the optical images .
the sdss imaging pipeline classified this object as extended .
sdss also obtained a spectrum of this object , and it is a very reddened ( due to the taurus cloud ) star - forming galaxy with bright h@xmath1/ and at a redshift of 0.077 .
therefore , we drop this object from our list of previously - identified members .
the sed for iras 04428 + 2403 ( seen in figure [ fig : popupexample ] ) resembles those for a class of objects we found in the process of looking for candidate ysos .
these objects seemed to meet all of our criteria for yso candidacy ( see [ sec : gradations ] ) .
this population has seds that looked like they could be yso candidates , but where the 8 @xmath2 m point in the sed appears significantly above a line connecting the 5.8 and 24 @xmath2 m points .
several of these objects were targeted for optical spectroscopy , and four of them were actually observed .
all of them turned out to be extragalactic objects .
tens if not hundreds of the spatially resolved galaxies in our survey ( such as iras 04428 + 2403 , but also more obvious resolved galaxies ) also have this kind of sed .
so , we conclude that even though some of these objects are point sources as far as we can tell , they are extremely likely to be galaxies .
an example sed for one of the point - like objects is given in figure [ fig : popupexample ] .
all of the objects that were apparent point sources ( e.g. , the ones that fooled us ) appear in table [ tab : miscobj ] .
the ones that are confirmed extragalactic objects are indicated .
the most likely origin of the 8 micron popup is the polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbon ( pah ) emission feature near 8 @xmath2 m .
geers et al.(2009 ) have found that low - mass young stars almost always lack pah emission features at 11 @xmath2 m in spitzer spectra or at 3.3 @xmath2 m in ground - based spectra .
thus we do not expect faint cloud members to show this feature . however , these features are common in lower luminosity galaxies ( weedman & houck 2009 ) .
pah features are seen around luminous young stellar objects such as the ae star hd 100546 ( malfait et al .
1998 ) , where strong stellar ultraviolet fluxes can excite pah emission .
all of the 8 micron pop - up sources detected in the taurus survey , if located at the cloud distance of 137 pc , would have low luminosities strongly inconsistent with an early spectral type .
thus we conclude that none of the 8 micron pop - up sources found in the taurus survey field are consistent with low - luminosity taurus members , and we have excluded them from the list of candidates .
several objects listed in the literature as non - members ( e.g. , assumed but not spectroscopically confirmed background objects ) appear as having colors consistent with ysos . in several cases ,
the literature regarded them as non - members not because of spectroscopic confirmation , but because of optical properties . since we investigated their infrared properties for the first time , and found them to have infrared excesses , we have at least for the time being promoted them back to being yso candidates rather than non - member candidates .
these objects are all identified in the relevant tables above ( including table [ tab : miscobj ] ) , and since they are still yso candidates , their seds appear in appendix [ sec : seds ] .
shenoy et al .
( 2008 ) use the data from our taurus-1 survey ( as reported by luhman et al .
2006 ) combined with 2mass to create a catalog of objects they believe to be background objects .
several of the objects they report as candidate background objects are based on 2mass - only measurements ( no irac ) .
now , with the addition of the mips-24 data ( as well as the irac data for the rest of the survey ) , many of them show up as likely yso candidates in at least one of our color spaces we investigated .
we have promoted several of the objects reported in shenoy et al .
( 2008 ) to potential members ; they are listed and identified in the relevant tables in the main body of the paper , but listed in table [ tab : miscobj ] as just
shenoy et al.object .
" most of these objects do not have obvious signs of youth in the spectra we have , so additional data are needed to determine if they are members . a few objects merit special discussion . the first , 041810.7 + 251957 ( [ gbm90 ] l1506 1 ) , is listed by goodman et al . ( 1990 ) as one of the objects for which the authors measured polarimetry , and therefore they assumed was a background object , but is not called out as anything remarkable in any other sense .
it appears as a strong yso candidate in all of the color - magnitude spaces we investigated .
we have it listed in the tables above as a new member , with a spectral type that we determined to be k8-m0 , substantial emission lines in the spectrum , and a yso sed class of ii .
the second object of note is 042920.8 + 274207 ( 2mass 04292083 + 2742074 ) , which appears in luhman et al .
( 2009b ) as a background giant , m5iii .
we report it as a possible new member based on all the information we have ; our type is m6 with low gravity .
it shares many characteristics of young stars , but also those of some post - main - sequence objects .
further investigation is needed .
this work is based in part on observations made with the spitzer space telescope , which is operated by the jet propulsion laboratory , california institute of technology under a contract with nasa .
support for this work was provided by nasa through an award issued by jpl / caltech .
this research has made use of nasa s astrophysics data system ( ads ) abstract service , and of the simbad database , operated at cds , strasbourg , france .
this research has made use of data products from the two micron all - sky survey ( 2mass ) , which is a joint project of the university of massachusetts and the infrared processing and analysis center , funded by the national aeronautics and space administration and the national science foundation .
these data are served by the nasa / ipac infrared science archive , which is operated by the jet propulsion laboratory , california institute of technology , under contract with the national aeronautics and space administration .
this research has made use of the digitized sky surveys , which were produced at the space telescope science institute under u.s .
government grant nag w-2166 .
the images of these surveys are based on photographic data obtained using the oschin schmidt telescope on palomar mountain and the uk schmidt telescope .
the plates were processed into the present compressed digital form with the permission of these institutions .
this research has made use of observations obtained with xmm - newton , an esa science mission with instruments and contributions directly funded by esa member states and the usa ( nasa ) .
the research described in this paper was partially carried out at the jet propulsion laboratory , california institute of technology , under contract with the national aeronautics and space administration .
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A question about the Fermi acceleration
In high school physics, we know that a charged particle cannot gain energy from a magnetic field. But, it seems that in the so-called [Fermi acceleration](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermi_acceleration), the particle is accelerated by the magnetic field. How does it happen?
Is it because the magnetic field is not stationary?
**Note**
========
You should clarify your statement from "...a charged particle cannot gain energy from a magnetic field..." to "...a charged particle cannot gain energy from a *static* magnetic field..." There is nothing wrong with energy transfer from time-varying magnetic fields.
**Background**
==============
If the spatial gradient in the magnetic field is *slow* enough such that the particle can complete multiple gyro orbits through the gradient, we can assume that the [magnetic moment](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnetic_moment) of the charged particle's gyro orbit remains constant, or:
$$
\gamma \mu = \gamma \frac{ q\_{s} \ \Omega\_{cs} \ \rho\_{cs}^{2} }{ 2 \ c } \sim constant \tag{1}
$$
where $c$ is the [speed of light](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_of_light), $q\_{s}$ is the charge of species $s$, $\Omega\_{cs}$ is the [cyclotron frequency](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclotron_resonance) or gyrofrequency of species $s$, $\rho\_{cs}$ is the [gyroradius](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gyroradius) or Larmor radius of species $s$, and $\gamma$ is the relativistic [Lorentz factor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorentz_factor). The gyrofrequency and radius are given by:
$$
\begin{align}
\Omega\_{cs} & = \frac{ q\_{s} \ B\_{o} }{ \gamma \ m\_{s} \ c } \tag{2a} \\
\rho\_{cs} & = \frac{ c \ p\_{\perp,s} }{ q\_{s} \ B\_{o} } \tag{2b}
\end{align}
$$
where $B\_{o}$ is the magnetic field magnitude, $m\_{s}$ is the mass of species $s$, and $p\_{\perp,s}$ is the momentum orthogonal to $\mathbf{B}\_{o}$ of species $s$, where $\mathbf{p}\_{s} = \gamma \ m\_{s} \ \mathbf{u}$.
The assumption that $\gamma \mu$ ~ constant during an interaction with a magnetic field gradient derives from a form of the [WKB approximation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WKB_approximation), where we say this holds if:
$$
\Omega\_{cs}^{2} \gg \lvert \frac{ 3 }{ 4 } \left( \frac{ \dot{\Omega}\_{cs} }{ \Omega\_{cs} } \right)^{2} - \left( \frac{ \ddot{\Omega}\_{cs} }{ 2 \ \Omega\_{cs} } \right) \rvert \tag{3}
$$
where $\dot{Q}$ is the total derivative of quantity $Q$. When Inequality 3 holds, the gradient is said to be *slow* (to which I eluded earlier).
**Adiabatic Invariance**
========================
Okay, if we can maintain that $\gamma \mu$ ~ constant during an interaction with a magnetic field gradient and there are no time-varying electromagnetic fields, then the total kinetic energy should be constant during the interaction as well. This gives us the following relationships:
$$
\begin{align}
\frac{ u\_{\perp,f}^{2} }{ B\_{o,f} } & = \frac{ u\_{\perp,i}^{2} }{ B\_{o,i} } \tag{4a} \\
u\_{i}^{2} & = u\_{\perp,i}^{2} + u\_{\parallel,i}^{2} \tag{4b} \\
& = u\_{\perp,f}^{2} + u\_{\parallel,f}^{2} \tag{4c}
\end{align}
$$
where the subscript $i(f)$ corresponds to the initial(final) state and $\parallel(\perp)$ corresponds to the direction parallel(perpendicular) to $\mathbf{B}\_{o}$. If we assume the gradient is along $\hat{\mathbf{z}}$, we can then express the final parallel velocity as a function of $z$, given by:
$$
u\_{\parallel,f}^{2} \left( z \right) = u\_{i}^{2} - u\_{\perp,i}^{2} \frac{ B\_{o,f} \left( z \right) }{ B\_{o,i} } \tag{5}
$$
We can see that the particle will reflect or [*mirror*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnetic_mirror) off of the gradient if $u\_{\parallel,f} \rightarrow 0$, which occurs if:
$$
\begin{align}
\lvert \frac{ u\_{\parallel,i} }{ u\_{\perp,i} } \rvert & < \sqrt{ \frac{ B\_{o,f} }{ B\_{o,i} } - 1 } \tag{6a} \\
\frac{ B\_{o,f} }{ B\_{o,i} } & > 1 + \left( \frac{ u\_{\parallel,i} }{ u\_{\perp,i} } \right)^{2} \tag{6b}
\end{align}
$$
>
> How does it happen?
>
>
>
[First order Fermi acceleration](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermi_acceleration) (also called *diffusive shock acceleration*) considers two merging (i.e., the distance between decreases with time) regions of enhanced magnetic field, which I will call *magnetic clouds*. [Fermi's](http://adsabs.harvard.edu/abs/1949PhRv...75.1169F) original idea was to have two merging magnetic clouds (or scattering centers) moving at high speeds (but still non-relativistic) relative to one another. In the rest frame of a magnetic cloud, the particle will reflect and gain no energy. It will just reverse its momentum parallel to $\nabla B\_{o}$, where $p\_{\parallel} = p \cos{\theta}$. However, in the "center of momentum" frame of the two clouds, a relativistic particle (non-relativistic cloud speed still) particle will gain energy, $\Delta E$, with each reflection proportional to:
$$
\frac{ \Delta E }{ E } \approx \frac{ 3 \ V\_{sh} }{ 4 \ c } \cos{\theta} \tag{7}
$$
where $V\_{sh}$ is the upstream flow speed along a unit normal orthogonal to the cloud surface (i.e., parallel to $\nabla B\_{o}$ here). Note that $V\_{sh}/c$ is small here and this approximation changes if that ratio becomes a significant fraction of unity. This
There is also a *2nd order* Fermi acceleration, whereby multiple magnetic clouds are present that can allow a charged particle to diffuse (in energy and [pitch-angle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitch_angle_(particle_motion))) after multiple interactions with multiple different clouds. On average, the particle will interact more with clouds moving anti-parallel to its motion than parallel, thus it should gain an overall energy. However, for a non-relativistic cloud speed and relativistic particle, this is proportional to $\left( V\_{sh}/c \right)^{2}$ (thus why it is called 2nd order), which is very small and slower than first order Fermi acceleration.
**Simple Analogy**
==================
Imagine you have a perfect ping-pong paddle or tennis racquet that allows for perfectly elastic collisions with the incident ball. If the paddle were stationary in the court rest frame, then the ball would gain no energy upon reflection off of the paddle in that frame. If you were running toward the net when the the incident ball struck the paddle, the ball would be seen to gain energy in the court frame (still no energy gain in the paddle rest frame).
It's a similar idea in Fermi acceleration, where we replace the paddle with the magnetic cloud and the ball with the charged particle.
**Caveats**
===========
Note that reality is much more complicated than the above picture because magnetic clouds, to which I eluded, often carry tremendous free energy allowing them to generate electromagnetic waves. Thus, there are often time-varying electric and magnetic fields present near these clouds, which can complicate things. Even so, we still observe evidence of diffusive shock acceleration in, for instance, the [Earth's foreshock](http://adsabs.harvard.edu/abs/2016GMS...216..269W) is full of ion velocity distributions called *diffuse ions* aptly named because they are direct evidence of diffusive shock acceleration.
**References**
==============
* J.D. Jackson, *Classical Electrodynamics*, Third Edition, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., New York, NY, 1999.
In the case of the second order acceleration, two clouds are approaching, therefore the energy the charged particle gains comes from the energy of the clouds.
In the case of the first order acceleration, the charged particle gains energy as it moves repeatedly through the shock front. The region before the shock front (upstream) moves at higher speed than that of the region after the shock front (downstream) in the frame with the shock front at rest, and the gain in energy is provided by the difference in motion of these two regions with magnetic field (we assume that the field is such that it forms magnetic mirrors).
In both cases, the magnetic fields are not stationary.
| stackexchange/physics |
Effect of cohesion and tensile strength on the working of siphons
My understanding of siphons is that air pressure is able to lift (because of lower pressure at the top of the siphon) the liquid up the shorter arm and then gravity pulls it down the longer arm.
However, siphons can work in vacuum under special conditions. [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siphon#Vacuum_siphons) states that the liquid siphons because of cohesion and tensile strength provided the liquid is pure, degassed and the surface (of the tube) is clean. For example, in [this](https://youtu.be/8F4i9M3y0ew) YouTube video, based on this [paper](https://doi.org/10.1021/ed2001818) (not free), they use a fluid with strong intermolecular attractions.
The pressure explanation tells that the diameter of the tubes is immaterial. However, it seems that if tension is the driving force behind the siphon, then the diameter should have an effect on the working of the siphon simply because with a larger diameter I have more liquid to pull the liquid from the other side.
But increasing the diameter of the shorter arm surely cannot pull the liquid from the lower reservoir to the higher one, right? What effect does the diameter of the tube have, if we stick to the cohesion explanation, in vacuum?
Incidentally, if the liquid consists of long molecules like polyethylene glycol, could it be siphoned in the opposite direction. And if there is a possibility of the liquid being siphoned in the opposite direction, either because of its long molecules or because of high cohesion, can that effect be evened out by the effect of pressure (which pushes it from the higher reservoir to the lower one)?
EDIT: Let me try to make things precise. Let's say we have a top reservoir A, a bottom reservoir B.
1. While siphoning from A to B, usually pressure and gravity drive the system. If the liquid under consideration was highly cohesive, can cohesive forces, perhaps in the absence of air pressure, slow down or reverse the flow? What happens if the shorter arm has a large diameter? Here I expect the cohesive forces pulling the liquid in the longer arm to increase, thereby decreasing the flow.
2. If we try to siphon from B to A, then under ordinary circumstances, the liquid will just fall back to B, except perhaps a few drops falling into A, after which air fills the pipe. But if the liquid is highly cohesive (or has long molecules), can it be siphoned, perhaps in vacuum, from B to A? In this second setting, gravity will try to drive the flow from A to B, so could it be cancelled by cohesion pulling the liquid from B to A?
It seems impossible that the liquid should be able to go from B to A without someone just sucking everything out of B into A.
As an aside, just a small clarification. Under ordinary circumstances, if A and B were at the same level and I attempted to siphon water, say, from A to B, it will just stay in the pipe without falling on any side, right? Like sucking on a straw and closing the top before the liquid falls.
If we have two reservoirs with a tube joining them gravity will tend to make the levels in the two reservoirs the same. In a siphon the tube rises higher than the levels in the reservoirs, so the liquid must rise before it falls again. Some force other than gravity is needed to force the liquid to rise.
In a conventional siphon this force is air pressure, which can raise water to a height of about 10 metres. If the siphon tube goes higher than 10 metres there will be a space containing only water vapour formed at the top of the tube, and no water will flow through the tube.
If a liquid with strong intermolecular attractions is used instead of water it is these attractions (instead of air pressure) which provide the force that raises the liquid from the top reservoir to the top of the tube.
Note also the capillary siphon, (a wet string replacing the tube) where it is capillary forces that raise water over the top of container A.
All the above are driven by gravity, ie the energy to raise the water or other fluid comes from the gravitational potential energy of the falling liquid. The siphon can be thought of as a way of transferring the energy from the falling liquid to the rising liquid. A larger diameter tube offers less resistance, so it would increase the flow. This is true even if it is larger on the rising side; a larger mass moves more slowly and the potential energy rise is the same as the P. E. fall for the falling fluid moving more quickly over the same height on the other side of the tube.
As you correctly said, if the levels are the same on both sides the water will just stay in the tube and the levels will stay the same.
There are other sources of energy which could conceivable be used in a siphon-like experiment. One possible candidate is surface tension.
If the surface tension of a fluid is strong enough then it might in principle be able to overcome gravity. You would need a liquid that can form large drops with height of similar size to the size of the siphon. Water has a high surface tension compared with most liquids, but I don't believe it would work in a normal-sized apparatus, except perhaps in micro-gravity.
This device would be driven by the liquid trying to reduce its total surface area. The direction of flow would depend on how much liquid was already in each container, the relative heights of the liquid in the reservoirs, the shapes of the reservoirs and the amount of attraction between the liquid and the containers and tube.
| stackexchange/physics |
Voltron 1. Chapter 1
WEP owns Voltron and its characters.
Um, yeah, was that _me_ that said she was taking a break from Voltron for awhile? Well, so much for that. I have this sequel to _An Angel and Her Devil_ just sitting here, and well, you know how it goes. The characters whisper to you and say, "What about us?" and so here it is. It's not finished, but I should have more time coming up after August, so updating should be quicker than on the last story. Enjoy.
_A Soldier Finds His Way_
A sequel to _An Angel and Her Devil_
Chapter One: Bad News
The sun beat hard on the sidewalks of Chicago, turning the concrete into massive frying pans where one could, if feeling silly enough, cook an egg. Or at least attempt to. Though the temp was climbing toward ninety-six degrees, the heat didn't seem to deter any of the hundreds of shoppers pacing the stores, looking for just that one perfect deal, that one _must-have_ pair of jeans or T shirt. Cabs trolled the streets, yellow hungry sharks searching for prey.
Through the melee strolled a young couple, he dark-haired with deep maple eyes and she a blonde, her ocean blue orbs sparking with vivaciousness. To everyone who saw them, even for a moment, it was blatantly apparent that they were in love. They held hands and he would lean down occasionally and whisper, making her giggle and give his hand a tight squeeze.
To any casual observer, they were just a part of the crowd, a piece of puzzle that maybe fit a little better than others. To a man named Edward Connor, they were much more. A very recently retired Judge from the Air Force, he had personal interest in the young couple, particularly in the woman. She was to blame for a great tragedy in his life, a tragedy that he refused to bury with the past. Tucking his small binoculars into the breast pocket of his shirt, he continued to stalk them.
"I can't believe how hot it is," Keith Mitchell said, shaking his ebony head. He pulled his petite girlfriend closer to his side as they crossed the street in a crowd, everyone jostling for position.
"It's going to get hotter," Allura Antares informed him with a smile. "Which is why I wanted to come earlier."
"I know, I know. I had to take Lance's call, you know that. Otherwise he'd have been pestering me all day." There was a slight hint of irritation in his voice.
Allura nodded. "It's okay, Keith. There are only a few more places I want to go, anyway." They turned left and the Alaskan frowned as a rude older woman bumped into him as she went by. "I could've come alone," his girlfriend said quietly.
"Yeah, like _that_ would've happened." The twenty-six year old Navy pilot was very protective, and the thought of his pretty girlfriend tackling the Chicago streets alone was not a good one.
"It was just a suggestion." Allura glanced up at her six-foot boyfriend, seeing the tense set of his jaw line. She knew he didn't like the big, loud crowds that pounded the Windy City's hallowed sidewalks, but she was a clothes horse, and couldn't stay away from the Magnificent Mile for too long.
Keith pulled her into Nike Town and put his hands on her slim shoulders. "I'm sorry, honey, for being such a bear. I know how much you love doing this." His voice was low and contrite.
She gave him a small smile. "It's okay."
"No, it's not. You're too forgiving, Allura. You can get mad at me, you know. I won't run away." Concerned maple eyes locked on her ocean ones.
She shook her head, blonde ponytail swaying between her shoulder blades. "It's not a big deal, sweetie. I'm getting tired, anyway. Why don't we head for the truck?"
"Fine." Keith turned and headed back into the glaring sunlight, his shoulders set. Allura followed, sighing softly. She noted the minor limp that broke his otherwise powerful stride, and felt a stab of remorse shudder through her. He would always have it; the accident that had injured his knee had been one of a life-or-death struggle, and he had gotten hurt protecting her. Not, of course, that he ever blamed her for it – he felt it was a small price to pay for keeping her safe. And she had kept his safe as well – strangling the man who had tried to drown them both.
"Ally?" She looked up at him, seeing the intense love in his dark eyes.
"What?" she asked quietly, feeling his hard arms encircle her small waist as she looked down, not wanting the eye contact.
"I'm a jerk. I've been a jerk all day, and I'm sorry." He spoke in a low tone, but his words were fierce. She lifted her ocean eyes to his handsome, deeply-tanned face. "I know I've been tense lately, and I've taken it out on you."
She knew the reason for his tenseness. His enlistment in the Navy would be up in a month, and he had to decide what to do. The Navy doctors had decided his knee injury would not keep him from being able to control a jet. He loved flying; it was a part of who he was, and part of what had made her love him in the first place. But after everything they had been through the past year, he had solemnly vowed to never leave her side again, and a battle group's six month long deployment meant him breaking his heartfelt words.
"Keith, why don't we go for a drive and talk?"
He nodded. "Come on." Keeping her close to him as they navigated the sidewalks, they hurried back to the parking garage where her Durango waited.
COYOTES
Jeff Davis, Allura's older step-brother, glanced at the phone as it shrilled, breaking his peaceful concentration. His sister had already called to let him know she and Keith wouldn't be back until later that night, and he hadn't expected any other calls. Sighing and laying aside the brochure of new boats he'd been studying, he picked up the annoying convenience on the third ring.
"Hello?"
"Keith there?" The voice was rough, masculine.
"No. Can I take a message?"
A pause. "Tell him his mom's sick. He'd better come home." Click. Jeff stared at the phone, contemplating. _Was that his dad? Should I call him now or wait? _Deciding this was something his friend needed to know, he dialed Keith's cell number
COYOTES
Allura jumped at the burst of metal music muzak from her boyfriend's phone, watching as he grinned at her and answered. "Yeah."
"Keith, I think your dad just called. He said you need to come home. Your mom is sick," Jeff told him, keeping his tone soft. He knew Keith's family was a touchy subject.
Keith felt his stomach knot and twist. _Mom_. "Okay. Uh, thanks, Jeff." He hung up in a state of semi-shock.
Allura frowned at his quickly paling countenance and reached out to touch his arm. "Keith? What is it, sweetie?" He continued driving, not hearing her. The petite woman's ocean eyes grew concerned as he continued to ignore her. "Keith? What is it?" she asked again, more urgently.
He glanced at her, and she felt her heart fall at the desolate look in his maple eyes. "It's my mom. She's sick." His voice was low, hoarse, as if it had caught in his throat.
Allura, always compassionate, felt tears in her eyes. The way he had said "sick" didn't sound like just a common cold. "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. What can we do?"
Her boyfriend smiled at how quickly she rallied to his side. "My dad called and said I need to come home." He sighed, already dreading the visit. No doubt his father would not be too happy to see him, either. They hadn't parted on the best of terms the last time he'd been home.
"We can leave as soon as you want," Allura told him, squeezing his hand.
"You want to go with me?"
She nodded. "Of course. I'd like to meet your family." When Keith didn't say anything, she asked, "Don't you want me to come?"
"It's not that, beautiful. I, it's my dad. We don't get along at all, and I don't want to put you in the middle of something," he told her quietly. They came up on a gas station and he pulled the Durango in, wanting a break from his melancholy thoughts. Parking next to a pump, he glanced at her. "Want anything?"
"A Mountain Dew. Keith, I won't get in the way, I promise." Her big ocean eyes were beseeching. She couldn't stand the thought of him having to go home by himself.
"I know you won't, Ally. We can talk about it later." The Alaskan eased out of the Durango and began filling its tank, his thoughts automatically flying north-west to his home. _Mom must be really bad if Dad called. I need to go home. I can't just stay away. _He wondered if Cade, his older brother by two years, had gone home already. Screwing the gas cap back on, he headed into the station.
Allura leaned her head back against the seat, worry evident on her pretty face. She knew very little about Keith's family; he was a private man, keeping his thoughts and past buried deep within himself. He hadn't had an easy childhood, or any easy teenage life; though he never spoke openly about it, she had picked up on the few hints he'd given her. She had even asked Sven Jansson, his best friend, about Keith's past, but he'd sashayed around the question, finally telling her only Keith should tell her his story.
The driver door opened and the handsome pilot slid in, handing her a bottle of the green caffeine she so craved all the time. "Thank you," she murmured, sensing he was in no mood for conversation. He simply nodded and set a bottle of Coke in the holder on the floor before starting the Dodge and driving out.
Behind them, unnoticed by both brooding young people, a dark forest Wrangler followed. Edward Connor sipped the coffee he'd just purchased at the station as he'd gone inside to watch Keith. He knew the Navy pilot would be hard to get by, but nothing was impossible. Allura Antares would suffer for her awful deed.
2. On Edge
WEP owns Voltron and its characters.
Chapter Two: On Edge
Keith finished packing and glanced at his watch. An hour left before they had to leave for the airport. He ran the heels of his hands over his tired eyes and sat down on the bed. A sharp rap at his door brought his head up. "Come in!"
Jeff walked in, shutting the door and sitting down on the deep burgundy carpet. His cobalt eyes were cool. "I trust you to keep her safe."
Keith frowned. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?" There was a snap in his usually level voice.
"It's the first time she's gone away with any guy other than me," her older brother said. "I'm just nervous."
"Don't be. She won't be out of my sight." Keith felt his instant anger fading away. Jeff's uneasiness was understandable. "So, you and Lisa have any big plans for the weekend?"
His friend's dark blue eyes sparkled. "Nothing too major. We're meeting Shannon and Ginger tomorrow night at the Hard Rock Café, but that's about it."
"Sounds fun." The Alaskan was anxious to get going. Dealing with his dad would not be easy, but he owed it to his mom to come home.
"I'm sure everything will be okay," Jeff said, wanting to ease Keith's troubled mind. He didn't know much of his friend's past, but knew there was some bad blood in the family.
"Yeah." Keith stood and grabbed his bag. "Think Ally's ready?"
"Probably not." Jeff followed him out. Allura was in the kitchen, sitting at the bar, her thick golden hair pulled back in a ponytail. She turned to the two men as they came in, her eyes immediately going to her boyfriend. He looked tense, even a little angry, and she fought back a shudder. Keith had a violent temper that he usually managed to keep reined in and tamped down, but she had witnessed it on occasion. It was not something to trifle with.
"Are you ready?" he asked, sitting down across from her only to rise and start aimlessly pacing. She and Jeff exchanged a concerned look.
"I'm all set," she told him. "Keith, it's going to be okay."
He stopped and drew a tight breath before answering. "We don't know that."
Jeff left the room but stayed somewhat close. He knew Keith would never lay a hand on his sister, but he knew how things, fights, could escalate. It was far better to be cautious.
Allura slid off the bar stool and went to Keith, putting her delicate hands on his broad chest, feeling the hard acceleration of his heart beats. "No, we don't, but we have to be positive. You told me your mom is tough," she whispered, not looking at him.
He didn't say anything. He knew she was trying to make him feel better, but she didn't know how bad things were at home. He had no use for his father, and only some respect for his brother. It was his mom, Laura, who had tried her best to make him comfortable, to give him a normal life, to love him. He sucked in a hard breath as tears came unbidden to his dark eyes. Allura glanced up as he moved away from her, blinking fast.
"Keith?"
He motioned her away with one hand. "I'm fine. I'd just like to be alone until we leave." His voice was low and cold, and her heart fell as she nodded and left the kitchen. Seeking solace from the stern brush-off, she sought out Jeff, who was in the living room, gazing out the big bay window. He turned to look at her, frowning.
"What is it?"
Allura wrapped her arms around her slender torso and stared up at him. "He says he wants to be left alone."
He lifted an eyebrow. "And you listened? Usually you'd demand to know what's wrong." He watched as her blues filled with quick tears. "Hey, don't cry, sis. We both know how he gets sometimes," Jeff said gently, putting his arms around her. "He'll be fine."
Allura laid her head on his chest, trying to control herself. She knew that was true, but Keith was her boyfriend, and she wanted to help him, any way she could. "Jeff, has he ever told you anything about his home life?"
"Not much. I don't think he and his dad get along at all." He ran a light hand over her back. "Just don't push him, Allycat. When he's ready to talk, he will."
"I guess."
Her brother smiled at her insolent tone. "Are you really sure you want to go with him?"
Allura nodded, looking up and seeing his concern. "I do. I just wish he'd let me in more, let me see what's bothering him."
"Have you tried asking Sven?"
"I did, but he said it has to come from Keith."
"It's better if it does. I know it's hard, but if he's worth it..."
"He is.
"Then he'll tell you when he's ready. Okay?"
"Okay." Allura stepped back from him and turned away. "I'll go get my bags. We have to leave soon." He watched her go and tried to quell the unease that slithered over him, coiling him in doubt. He wanted to talk to Keith, but respected his wish to be alone. A glance at the grandfather clock showed it was indeed almost time to leave, and he headed out to the foyer to get his shoes.
COYOTES
They were early for the flight, and as they waited, Jeff's uneasiness grew. He wasn't exactly sure what it was, but something didn't feel right. Keith had gone to check on the flight, and Jeff moved closer to his sister.
"Ally, you have your cell phone, right?" he asked, his tone low and worried. She nodded, gazing up at him.
"Why?"
"In case you need me."
Her ocean eyes widened a little. "You think something's going to happen?"
"I don't know. I just have a weird feeling. If you aren't comfortable out there then come home. You have enough money," he told her, seeing that Keith was on his way back.
"Okay, but Jeff, I'm sure everything will be fine," the petite blonde said, trying to reassure him. She turned to Keith when he walked up. "Everything on schedule?"
The Alaskan nodded. His maple eyes, usually twinkling, were deep and brooding, and his girlfriend felt a shiver of trepidation go through her. "Come on. Let's get to the terminal."
Allura watched him walk away and suddenly did not want to go with him. She felt Jeff's hand on her shoulder and rallied up. _This is Keith. He'd never do anything to hurt me. _They followed after him, Allura trying to push back her dark thoughts. She trusted her boyfriend more than anyone – or at least, as much as she did her brother. The flight was boarding, and Keith put his hand out to Jeff, seeing his friend's concern.
"We'll be fine, Jeff. I'll call when we get there."
The Illinoisan nodded, shaking his hand. "Have a safe flight." Keith turned away as Allura stepped into her older brother's hug, giving him a tight squeeze around the waist. "Call if you need me, "he whispered to her, gently kissing her forehead.
"I will," she said softly, leaning on him for a moment. Though two years apart, they were as close, if not closer, than twins, and it was the first time, since their parents had married, that they'd really been apart. "Take care of yourself."
"Of course." Jeff watched as they walked into the tunnel to board the jet, and prayed that his uneasiness was just from seeing his sister go off on her own.
COYOTES
Edward Connor watched the young couple, noticing there was not much conversation. He smiled. If they were fighting it was just the better for him. Taking the girl would be easier than ever. He congratulated himself on the excellent spying and wire-tapping he'd done. They'd never know he was following them. He wasn't quite sure yet what way she would meet her death, but it would be painful, just like Zack's had been. Why she wasn't being held in prison for murder he'd never know. But that worked to his advantage. He would exact his own judgment and sentence on her.
Allura glanced around her and met the gaze of an older gentleman. He gave her a small nod and went back to reading his magazine. She shivered a little; something about him seemed familiar, and that did not calm her already jangled nerves. Keith was off in his own thoughts, and she hated to bother him, especially when he'd been so cool to her all day.
She settled back in her seat and wondered how everyone else was. Romelle and Sven were on vacation in Florida; the handsome Norwegian was taking her to visit his parents, who had retired early to the Sunshine state. Allura knew her cousin was nervous about it, but Sven had assured her his parents would find her as wonderful as he did.
"You okay?" The soft question startled her. "Ally?"
"I'm fine, Keith, just thinking. How about you?"
He shrugged. "I'll be glad to get there and see how Mom is."
Allura gave his hand a squeeze. "You know, I'm here for you if you want to talk."
He smiled, some warmth flaring in his maple eyes. "I know, honey. I'm not trying to shut you out. I just need some time alone."
"Okay." She felt useless, wanting to help and knowing that right now he wouldn't let her.
Keith turned his cool gaze out the window. He knew Allura felt bad, but she would get over it. He had bigger things to worry about.
COYOTES
A/N: Okay, before someone tells me that Keith is being an outrageous jerk, I _know_. But you'll soon see why. RL2
3. Going Home
WEP owns Voltron and its characters.
Chapter Three: Going Home
Cade Mitchell, Keith's older brother, waited impatiently at the airport. His chocolate brown eyes roved constantly and he swept a hand over his short, black hair. He wasn't surprised Keith was coming so quickly, but he was surprised that he was bringing his young girlfriend.
A group of people came down the ramp and he saw his brother, a small blonde clutching his hand. Keith spotted him and walked over, a tight smile on his lips. "Cade."
"Keith."
They might've hugged if there'd been any reason to. As it was, this was the first contact they'd had since Keith's graduation from flight school. Allura watched them closely, feeling shy around the large crowds of people.
"C'mon." Cade led the way to get their luggage. Keith glanced at Allura, noticing her darting eyes. He squeezed her hand in quiet reassurance, all the while trying to calm himself down. They got their bags and followed Cade out to the parking lot. He led them to a Lincoln Navigator and opened the back door. "She can ride back here," he said, nodding at Allura.
"Okay," Keith agreed as he threw their luggage inside the spacious middle row. Ally climbed in, feeling put out that Keith hadn't even introduced her to his brother. She knew he was rattled about seeing his father again, but he didn't have to ignore her like this.
"I'm Allura," she said, leaning forward to briefly touch Cade's broad shoulder.
He glanced at her in the rearview. "Hi." There was no welcome in his voice, and she felt at a loss as Keith didn't even appear to notice his older brother's unfriendliness.
"How is she?" Keith finally asked, his voice low.
Cade shrugged. "She has pneumonia."
"Oh."
"That's really treatable," Allura said, leaning forward again. "Does her doctor have her on medication?"
Cade frowned at her over his broad shoulder. "How backwoods do you think we are here? Of course she's being treated." His icy words stung hard and the petite blonde felt heat rise in her cheeks.
"I don't think it's 'backwoods' here. I was just asking," she said quietly, glancing at her boyfriend. Why wasn't he defending her? Deciding to just stay quiet, she leaned back in her seat.
The ride to the Mitchell home was not long, but to Keith it seemed to drag forever. He kept his dark eyes focused straight ahead, wanting to look back at Ally but not wanting to see the wounded look he was sure was on her face. And not that she didn't deserve to feel hurt. He should've said something to Cade when he'd snapped at her, but just couldn't bring himself to do it. Here, he was not Lieutenant Commander Mitchell, F-14 pilot. Here, he was just Keith Mitchell, son of Wayne and Laura, brother to Cade, and a quiet nobody who was a great football and hockey player but nothing else.
Mitchell Manor, as Wayne had dubbed it years ago, was a fairly large ranch-style with a double garage and pole barn. Cade parked near the front door and got out, heading immediately to the house. Keith opened the door and stepped out, feeling an icy shiver slide down his spine. He felt Allura take his hand and chanced a look down at her. She looked worried – very worried. "Keith? Are you okay?" she asked softly.
He could only manage a nod as he led her to the house. Squaring his shoulders he walked in and nearly froze. Wayne Mitchell stood in the living room, a frown on his face. They stared at each other for almost a minute before Allura stepped around her boyfriend and smiled.
"You must be the girlfriend. I'm Wayne." Keith's father grinned and crossed the room to her, taking her hand and kissing the back of it firmly. "You're a pretty little thing, just like Cade said."
Allura blushed, not sure what to say or do. When she got no help from Keith, she nodded. "Allura Antares. I'm sorry that your wife is sick, Mr. Mitchell."
"None of this formality. I'm just Wayne. Mind if I call you Ally? Come along. I'll give you a tour of the old homestead." As he took her hand again, Allura cast a wide-eyed look at Keith, asking silently for help. She was not comfortable being alone with a strange man, even if he was Keith's father.
"Uh, go ahead, honey," her boyfriend said, his maple eyes downcast. He didn't want to see the anger in her blue eyes. Had he looked, he would've seen fear instead.
Cade watched his father lead Allura from the room and looked at his younger brother. _He's still afraid of him. He won't even stand up to him for his girlfriend. Or to me, for that matter. _"Still the coward, huh, Keith?" he asked, stepping back as Keith's head snapped up, eyes glittering.
"I was never the coward, Cade. I took everything he did." The Navy pilot's tone was growling. "And I took everything _you_ should've."
Cade grinned. "What can I say? He likes me." His words were harsh.
"Where's Mom?" Keith tried to keep his anger tamped down.
"I'd be more concerned for your girlfriend, if I were you." Cade nodded out the front window. "You know how he is."
Keith narrowed his dark eyes, feeling his temper rising from the depths he held it at. If his father so much as _looked_ at Allura in the wrong way..."Where's Mom?"
"Upstairs in the spare room. She's been asking for you." Cade couldn't hide his bitterness. Laura had always favored her youngest son.
Keith left the living room without another word, feeling he had wasted enough. His father wouldn't attempt anything with Allura, not this soon, and the Navy aviator really wanted to see his mother.
Laura Mitchell pushed her dark hair back behind her ears and pressed a hand to her chest as another series of wracking coughs seized her. The pneumonia was getting worse, and though death didn't seem far off, she was not afraid. Anything was better than the prison she'd been kept in since getting married.
A soft knock on the door brought a quick, genuine smile to her face. Only one person knocked like that. "Come in!"
Keith came in and was at her side in three long strides, his arms folding her into a cocoon of caring strength. Laura let out a barely audible sob as she hugged her youngest son back. They stayed still for several long moments; it was the first time in two years they'd been together.
"I'm so happy to see you," Laura finally said, easing back so she could see his face.
"I came as quick as I could." Keith's eyes roved over her face, noticing the heavy worry lines. "What can I do, Mom?"
"Nothing, honey. Just having you here is enough for me." Laura paused, her dark hazel eyes searching his own maple ones. "Have you seen your father?"
He nodded, his eyes narrowing. "He's showing Allura around."
"Allura?"
"My girlfriend. I'll introduce you later." He wondered for a moment how she was doing, and felt guilt shimmy through him. _I promised Jeff she wouldn't be out of my sight._
"He wouldn't hurt her," Laura said softly.
"If he did..." Her son left the threat hanging in the air, his voice low and hard. Laura squeezed his hand in reassurance, much as she had when he was growing up. Keith smiled at her, forcing back the angry feelings.
"Keith!" Wayne Mitchell's sharp yell grated against his son's ears and he grimaced.
"Go ahead, Keith. And make sure to bring Allura up here to see me," Laura told him, her dark eyes soft.
"I will." The Navy pilot headed down the stairs and felt his blood ice when he saw his petite girlfriend sitting on the couch, her left arm cradled against her chest. "Ally! What happened?" he asked, rushing to her side.
She looked up at him, her ocean eyes wide and pained. "I-I'm not sure. I was walking up to the house and tripped, I think." Her voice was low, unsure. Keith frowned and reached for her injured arm, running a careful hand down it. She winced as he felt her forearm.
"I'll take you to the hospital," he said, reaching to touch her cheek gently. "Come on."
"Ah, she'll be fine. Just give her some aspirin," Wayne said, settling his bulky frame down in his old brown recliner. Keith shot him a venomous look.
"She needs to see a doctor." Standing, Keith eased Allura to her feet. She bit her lip against the pain, causing her boyfriend's concern to build. "Come on, sweetie," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. As they walked past Wayne, Allura shuddered, and Keith stopped, his breathing quickening. "Did he hurt you?" he asked, his tone low and cold.
Allura caught the menacing look Wayne sent her and shook her head. "N-No. I tripped and fell," she murmured, refusing to meet Keith's gaze.
The pilot's muscles tensed as his temper rose within him. "Are you sure, Ally?" He managed to keep his voice steady. So help him, if his father had caused her to fall, or had done _anything_ to her...
"Keith, can we just go?" she asked, pleading lacing through her tone. He nodded and guided her toward the door, but he would not stop questioning her until she gave him the truth.
4. Broken Communication
WEP owns Voltron and its characters.
Anyone hear anything lately about the new Voltron movie? Let's hope they choose _good_ people to play our beloved space heroes...
Thank you for all the great reviews. This story will delve more deeply into Keith's home life, or rather, the lack thereof. And yes, Zack's grandfather will cause many problems for our favorite couple.
Chapter 4: Broken Communication
"Allura, just tell me what really happened," Keith said, glancing at her as he drove. Cade had grudgingly allowed them to borrow his Navigator, and they were on their way to the hospital. Fleetingly Keith remembered that he hadn't called Jeff but pushed the thought away. "Ally, talk to me."
The petite blonde was looking out the passenger window, her face pale. _I should just tell him the truth, but he wouldn't believe me. _Swallowing back a sudden lump in her throat, she turned to him. "Keith, I tripped, okay? That's what really happened." Her voice quivered, and Keith's maple eyes narrowed.
"No, it's not. You're not a klutz, beautiful. Did my dad...did he hurt you?"
"Why would he?"
Her boyfriend caught the trace of tears on her cheeks before she could wipe them away and his anger came boiling back, rising up until his hands were trembling on the steering wheel. "He did, didn't he? He did hurt you." His tone was a low growl, and the eyes that glanced her way were granite slits.
Allura's pulse shot forward and a whisper of fear played through her mind. How could she admit to him what had happened? He was upset already. "Keith, I..."
"Don't. If you won't tell me the truth, fine, but _do not_ lie to me."
"Keith..."
"Ally, just don't say anything, okay?" He shot her a cold look that silenced whatever she had wanted to say, and the rest of their quick ride was quiet.
The hospital was not busy, and Keith hoped they could get in and out quickly. Allura stayed out of his way, not understanding his shift into anger, but guessing it had to do with her. She couldn't tell him his father had tried to touch her and that she'd fallen while trying to escape his probing hands. How would he react to that? For the first time since they'd left Illinois, she wanted Jeff at her side.
"Keith Mitchell? I never thought I'd see _you_ in town again!" A pretty woman with ebony hair and wearing scrubs said as she came to the desk.
"Uh, yeah, I'm back. But just for a little while," he told her, his face coloring. "How are you, April?"
She smiled, and was devastatingly beautiful. "I'm wonderful, Keith. What's wrong?"
"My girlfriend fell and hurt her arm," he said, turning to take Allura's hand.
"Okay. Go ahead and sign her in, and then come around to the left and to the first station," April said, flashing him a warm smile. Keith flushed again and nodded.
"What's with the blushing?" Allura asked, a scowl on her pretty face. She was feeling cranky now, tired of the way he was treating her, and irritated with his reaction to the nurse.
"I'll uh, I'll explain later." Keith finished putting her name on the list and led her around to a small cubicle where April was waiting. Allura sat and cradled her arm, eying the nurse with wary defensiveness. April smiled knowingly.
"So Keith, what have you been up to?" she asked as she handed Allura some forms. "Just read and sign, honey." Allura's ocean eyes darkened but she said nothing. It wasn't really the nurse she was upset with.
"I'm an F-14 pilot in the Navy," he told April, smiling as her tropic green eyes widened.
"Wow, exciting! You always did have a thing for planes." April glanced over the forms. "Okay. I'll put this into the computer. It'll take a few minutes, so go ahead and sit in the waiting room," she directed, dismissing them. Allura stood and stalked off, leaving Keith with narrowed eyes and a deep sigh.
April watched her go. "Problems?"
"Not sure." Keith followed his girlfriend, already knowing she was mad and also knowing he was to blame. _I should have told her everything before we came. She came into this situation blind. _His cell phone rang and he looked at the ID, a fervent curse breaking beneath his breath. "Hey, Jeff." He tried to sound nonchalant. He didn't need this.
"Hey yourself. Are you guys okay? You never called." Jeff's voice was full of concern.
"Yeah, we're okay. Ally hurt her arm and we're at the hospital." Keith closed his eyes and waited for the anger he was sure was coming.
"Oh. How did she get hurt?" Jeff forced himself to remain calm, even though his concern was deteriorating into anger. _He promised me he'd keep her safe._
Keith groaned inwardly. Glancing toward the waiting room he saw a nurse come out from emergency and take Allura back. "Jeff, I have to go. I'll call you later." He hung up before Jeff could protest and set his phone to voice mail before following his girlfriend.
Allura refused to look at him, instead concentrating on the floor while the nurse took her blood pressure. Keith settled into a chair to wait, his own eyes set on his folded arms. "Alright, honey, the doctor will be in shortly," the nurse said before turning to leave.
"Thank you." Ally's voice was low and strained. She glanced toward Keith, wondering what was going through his head. How had things gotten like this? Why couldn't they seem to talk to one another? The ER doctor came striding in and stood before her.
"So you hurt your arm. How?" he asked, his tone cool. He looked at Keith for a moment. "Is he your boyfriend?"
"Yes, I am." Keith met his wary gaze, his own cold and unyielding. "What of it?"
"Did you hurt her?"
"What?" Keith's tone was incredulous. "Are you serious?"
The doctor nodded. "Pretty little girl like this gets her arm hurt and she's with a sulky, brooding guy? Yeah, you're right I'm serious."
"No, doctor, he didn't hurt me. I tripped and fell," Allura said quietly, not wanting any type of confrontation.
"Let me see your arm." He felt her forearm, asking her a few questions. "I think it's just sprained, but I'll order an X-ray to make sure. I'll be back."
Keith watched him go and looked at his girlfriend. "Did you really trip and fall?"
Allura refused to meet his gaze. "Yes. Why won't you believe me?"
"Because I think there's more to it than that." He sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. It'd been a long, emotionally draining day, and he was exhausted. Allura sighed and rubbed her hands together.
"Keith, I, I think this was a mistake. I think maybe I should go back to Illinois," she said, her voice so soft he had to strain to hear her. "You obviously aren't comfortable with me here."
"Allura, you don't have to go back. Today's just been really stressful for me..."
"Me too! Keith, you've hardly spoken to me since we got here, and now you won't believe me when I'm telling you the truth!" Her voice held hurt and anger, and Keith flinched. "I don't know what's wrong between us, but I'm sick of it."
"Allura, I..."
"Miss Antares? Come on, let's get those x-rays," the doctor said, stepping into the examining room. She nodded and stood up to follow him, snubbing Keith when he reached for her hand. He sighed in rabid frustration and decided he'd had enough. Heading back into the waiting room he nodded at April and settled down into a chair, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to relieve the stiffness and tension.
"You okay, honey? You look like you're having a bad day," April said, walking over to him.
"Something like that." He gave her a tired smile.
"Your girlfriend seems nice."
"Yeah, she's great." _So why am I so upset with her? This isn't her fault. She doesn't know my history._ "So, uh, how long have you worked here?"
"Almost four years. I really like it." April paused, not quite sure what else to say. "I married Craig two years ago."
"Yeah, my mom told me. Congratulations. You guys always made a nice couple," Keith said, warmth in his voice.
"Thanks. So, um, are you two planning to get married?" April asked, genuine curiosity in her voice.
He shrugged, his deep maple eyes brooding. "I don't know. We get along really well, but I don't think we're ready for that yet."
"Oh." April looked past him and he turned, standing as Allura stepped toward him.
"You okay, beautiful?" he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders. She nodded, and flung herself into his arms.
"Can we go?" she whispered.
"Yes." Keith wrapped an arm around her and gave her a squeeze. "It was nice seeing you again, April. Tell Craig I said hi."
"It was nice seeing you too, Keith. Take care," the pretty nurse said, giving them a little wave as they left.
Allura leaned on Keith as they made their way out to the Navigator. She felt ashamed for her outburst in the emergency room, knowing Keith _was_ under a lot of stress. She could tell that he and his brother didn't really get along, and his father...a shudder wracked through her and Keith gave her a tight squeeze.
"You alright, baby?" he asked, his voice tender. "Does your arm hurt a lot?"
"Not too much." She looked up at him, and his heart thudded hard at the sight of those bright ocean blues. "Keith, we need to talk."
"Yeah, we do," he agreed with quiet resignation. "Come on. I know just the place." He helped into the SUV and walked around to get in.
It was time she knew the truth behind his past.
5. Dangerous Situation
WEP owns Voltron and its characters.
Chapter Five: Dangerous Situation
Keith parked near a large lake, the late afternoon sun turning the cold water into a diamond mirror. Allura climbed out of the Navigator, favoring her injured arm that the ER doctor had put a splint on. She sighed in sudden contentment at the beauty that surrounded them. "Keith, it's gorgeous," she said, her tone reverent and quiet.
He smiled despite the situation. "Yeah, I used to come here a lot." His mind slipped into neutral as he remembered all the fun times he'd had here in high school with his friends. There'd been a lot of fishing and swimming and kayaking, and then there were the quieter times with his steady girlfriend of his junior and senior year, Tracy Castle. Man, but she had been beautiful, a virtual mermaid in the water...
"Keith, what is it? Are you okay?" Allura gently touched his arm and he realized a tear had escaped to slide down his pale cheek.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He walked away, leaving his current girlfriend to feel somehow betrayed. She contemplated climbing back into the SUV and leaving him here, but knew that to do so would break their now-strained relationship. Sighing, loudly enough he could hear her, she followed him.
When her cell phone began to vibrate she realized she was very glad for the sudden distraction. "Hey Jeff," she said, turning away from the direction her boyfriend was going.
"Allycat, what is going on? Keith told me you hurt your arm. Are you okay?" Jeff sounded near-frantic, and she had to smile.
"Relax, guardian angel. I fell and sprained it, but I'm okay, really." _Well, I'm not _really_ okay. I want you here with me._ "How are you and Lisa?"
"We're fine. Allura, you sound stressed. Are you really okay?"
"I...yeah, I'm okay. I just, I-I really miss you," she told him, feeling her eyes tear up. _No. No, I refuse to cry. That would be stupid. _
"What's wrong, sis? Are you and Keith doing alright?" he asked quietly, wishing he could be there with her.
"I don't know. He won't talk to me. And he doesn't really get along with his father or brother. I feel like I'm not very welcome."
"Then come home. I just bought another boat today; you could come with Lisa and I. We're going down to Florida with it to meet up with Sven and Romelle."
"Really? That does sound like fun." She stopped, knowing Jeff wanted her to come, but also knowing she couldn't walk away from Keith. "I'm going to stay, Jeff. I think Keith needs me, whether he realizes it or not," she said softly. A slight breeze ruffled and tangled the ends of her blonde mane, as if teasing her to come play.
"Okay, but if you need me, I'm on the next flight out there," Jeff told her, his voice slightly fierce. "Make sure to be careful."
"I will. Tell Lis I said hi."
"I will. Love you."
"Love you too. Bye." Allura ended the call and her heart felt empty. Gazing around she realized Keith had wandered away, not bothering to wait for her. _Fine.__ I'm a big girl. I'll explore on my own._ She walked to the lake's edge and knelt to feel the water, shivering as the coldness numbed her hand. It was peaceful and wildly beautiful and she thought perhaps she could stay here forever.
But then a disquiet came over her and she shuddered, throwing a quick glance over her shoulder. Something wasn't right, there was an eeriness in the air, warning her of an impending danger. She stood, poised like a doe in the hunter's gun sight, and stared into the woods surrounding the lake.
Two hundred feet away, hidden amongst the trees and heavy foliage, Edward Connor watched, a nasty gleam in his eyes. He saw her stand and tense, and smiled. He carried a Glock in a shoulder harness and knew he could easily move closer and take her down now, but there was no sport in that, no fun and games. She had to really suffer, as he was sure his grandson had in his final moments before his grotesque death.
Allura turned away, feeling frightened and not sure why. The water beckoned to her but she refused; a near-drowning accident earlier that year had spooked her enough that she stayed clear of water unless Keith or Jeff were with her. She saw a dock and headed for it, wondering where Keith had vanished to. He'd wanted to talk, but now seemed unwilling to do so.
She paused for a moment before stepping onto the long wooden structure, but felt safe enough from the lake. The dock shifted beneath her and she felt her heart drop for a moment. An icy finger of fear touched her body and she fought down an urge to scream for help. It was silly. There was no danger here, and she didn't want Keith to think she was being flaky. But still the sudden fear would not subside and she retreated from the dock and headed toward the SUV.
"Are you running away?"
The question, spoken in a vilely cruel manner, stopped the petite blonde and she swung to face the woods, her body shaking as fear-driven adrenaline flooded her system. "Who, who are you?"
"You killed someone very dear to me. You must pay for your sin." Closer came the evil voice, close enough it shook her to her soul.
Allura's face paled and she wanted to retch. Zack. She tried not to think of him, but every day, at some point, she did. His memory crept into her life, over and over. Branches snapped and then an older man stepped from the woods and she saw the gun.
COYOTES
"Do you think you should go out there?" Shannon O'Brien asked, watching as his best friend paced the kitchen floor. "Do you think she's in danger?"
"I don't know. She didn't sound like herself. She sounded frightened. Of what, I don't know." Jeff was torn. He wanted to go and make things all right for his younger step-sister, but knew that wasn't really his place. And Keith had shown he was more than able to take care of her.
"Maybe things aren't going so well between her and Keith," Shannon said, his dark eyes concerned.
Jeff swung around to face him. "My thought exactly. She says she's okay out there, but you know how I am."
Shannon took a swallow of his Coke. "So go. You know Lisa won't stand in your way." The Irishman was concerned just as much as Jeff was; they had been best friends for years, and each felt responsible for the beautiful young woman. "I'll go with you, if you want."
"Yeah. Maybe we should go." Jeff's voice was undecided, uncertain. He knew he tended to act immediately on his emotions, and that had often got him into trouble he didn't need. _So should we go? Does Ally really need rescuing, or am I just reading too much into it? _He glanced at Shannon, who was patiently awaiting his decision.
"Let's wait. I don't want to intrude on her and Keith, or his family."
Shannon nodded. "Okay. But I'm ready when you are, if you decide to go." He stood and stretched. "Come on. There's a new movie playing that looks good."
"Sure." Jeff followed his friend out, not able to shake the feeling that something was going wrong.
COYOTES
Keith sat down on the large, flat rock and laid back. It'd been a long time since he'd been here, since he'd _wanted_ to come back here. He smiled, thinking of all the fun times spent with his friends. _And __Tracy.__ Funny how I hadn't thought of her until we got here. We. Allura and me. She must think I'm a total idiot._
A sharp cry roused him from his melancholy reverie and he sprang to his feet. "Allura!" he yelled and began sprinting back to the SUV. There was another piercing scream and he heard a splash. Heart attempting to climb his throat he pushed into his fastest stride. If anything else happened to her...
She was treading water out past the dock and looking very tired. Keith ran the length of the dock and dove in, swimming out to her and ignoring the cold. This lake was always cold. She was shaking hard and glassy-eyed, and unresponsive to him. "I'm here, baby, I'm here," he said gently, wrapping an arm around her and towing her to shore. He helped her sit, unaware of the danger that lay in wait just behind him. "Allura, honey, what happened?" he asked, rubbing his hands up and down her bare arms. She was shaking less now, encouraging him.
"Well isn't that sweet. I knew you'd come running if she was in danger. And killing you will be so much fun."
Keith spun at the harsh voice, immediately putting himself between Allura and the older man holding the gun. The horrible feeling that this man wasn't joking around made the Alaskan sick to his stomach. He prepared to fight, no matter the consequences. No one was going to hurt his girlfriend.
6. Fighting Words
WEP owns Voltron and its characters.
Chapter Six: Fighting Words
"Don't be a hero, Keith," Edward Connor said, his cold, calculating voice sending a shiver down the Navy pilot's back.
"What do you want with us? How do you know who I am?" For his part, Keith's own voice was steel, not acknowledging the fear he was feeling.
"I know a lot about you. Navy pilot, injured his knee in an accident, which by the way wouldn't have happened if you'd just let my grandson live."
Keith froze. _This has to do with Zack? _He heard a whimper behind him. _Allura.__ I've got to get her away from this psycho._ His dark eyes turning fierce with temper, Keith slowly shook his head. "You don't want to do this. It will ruin your life."
Edward smiled and looked almost pleasant. "Ruin my life? My dear boy, you've _already_ ruined it. Well, your girlfriend did, actually. Why don't you just step aside and let me take her?"
"In your dreams. I will not let you touch her!" Keith snarled, his heart pumping with hard adrenaline. Edward's smile faded and he pointed the Glock.
"I don't need this, or you," he said and was about to squeeze the trigger when the sound of loud and raucous rock music filled the still air. Edward immediately lowered the gun and sprinted back into the woods. Keith took six steps in his direction before turning back at Allura's muffled sobs. He pulled her tight against him, trying to force his temper away. He couldn't afford to think about anyone but her, not now. She needed him.
"Dude, you guys okay?"
Keith glanced at the group of four teenagers and nodded. They had saved his life without knowing it. "Yeah. Thanks." He bent an arm and scooped his girlfriend up, feeling the tremble in her body and inwardly cursing. This shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't have left her alone. The teens moved away, sensing any further inquiries were not welcome.
"Keith?"
"Shh, honey. Just relax. I'll take us home," he told her firmly. He was in control of the situation. He shut her door and rounded the SUV, getting in and starting the big 4x4. Allura was quiet, head back against the seat, hands twisted together in her lap. She was wet, her blonde hair clinging to her head, her face, her slender shoulders. Keith flipped the heat on and put the Navigator in gear. They would be home soon.
COYOTES
Cade was in the yard when they got there, and his handsome face showed his ire at them having been gone so long. "Why is she wet?" he asked as Keith helped his girlfriend out. "And why didn't you put a towel or something down? The water'll ruin my leather seats!"
"Shut up." Keith stalked past him, his arm around Ally.
"Excuse me?" Cade grabbed Keith's shoulder, halting him. "I know you didn't just say that."
Keith spun around and struck out, connecting with his brother's chin with a left cross that left Cade seeing lights. "I said _shut up._ Don't touch me." The Navy fighter pilot took his girlfriend's hand and continued toward the house. He sensed his brother coming and turned, kicking up and out and catching Cade in the stomach. Allura stumbled away as the two brothers squared off, steely eyes meeting and flaring with unabashed anger and tension.
Cade rushed Keith, throwing a fast punch that Keith couldn't avoid. He stepped back and gathered himself, preparing to take his older sibling down. This fight had been long in coming; years of rivalry and semi-hatred were now goading them to finish things once and for all, here and now.
Keith was excellent in martial arts, but Cade had boxed amateurly, and their skills were leveled. Allura fought to watch, wanting only to look away from the horrid spectacle. She longed for Jeff, knowing he would break it up and help Keith. Not that he really needed help. The pilot was definitely holding his own. After all, he had taken Zack down with hardly any effort.
The sharp, stinging report of a twelve-gauge shattered the cooling air and brought the fight to a standstill. Allura jumped three feet and turned to see Wayne holding a shotgun, his dark eyes glued to his sons. His weathered face was red, and there was subtle rage brewing in his eyes. "What is going on? Cade?"
"Just working something out," his eldest son said, wiping the blood from his mouth. He glanced balefully at Keith.
"I don't want to see any fighting. Get in the house," Wayne ordered, then looked at Allura. "You get your arm looked at?"
She nodded, not able to meet his predatory gaze. She began to shiver and felt Keith's comforting arm go around her. "Come on, baby," he whispered softly, leading her inside. He took her into the spare bedroom. "Why don't you change, honey, and I'll get you something warm to drink."
"Okay." She was tired and scared and wanted to go home. "Keith?"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"What about...what about that man?" Her voice was low.
He walked back to her and put his arms around her. "We'll go talk to the police after you change." He gently kissed her forehead. "He won't hurt you, Ally. I'll take care of you. I promise."
"I know." She knew she needed to tell him what his father had done to her; she felt they were finally getting back onto solid ground, and wanted to keep it that way. "Keith, about my accident today..."
"What?" He stepped back to watch her, seeing the guilt on her pretty face.
"You were right. There is more to it than what I said." She took a deep breath. _Here I go._ "Your dad...he, he tried to, to touch me..." Tears gathered in her blue eyes. "I, I stumbled trying to get away from him."
Keith's stomach dropped and fury came roiling up from the black place he tried so hard to keep it at. _He tried to hurt her. I'll kill him for this._ The thoughts were cold and calculating, matching the dead steeliness in his dark eyes. Allura swallowed hard, feeling that the incident was her fault, somehow.
"Keith, I'm sorry. If I hadn't of come..."
"No." He put his hands on her shoulders, and his voice was dead. No emotion. "This isn't your fault." He turned to go, saying over his shoulder, "Stay in here until I come back."
She watched him go and threw herself down on the twin bed. How could things have gone this wrong? And why was the older man after her? Was he out for revenge for Zack's death? She had too many questions and not enough information. Deciding to change out of her wet clothes she got up, shivering as she thought of the man waving the gun at her, forcing her to jump into the water. Thank goodness Keith had heard her cry out, because with her arm splinted she hadn't been able to swim much.
The door swung open ten minutes later, spooking her. Keith stepped in and closed it before turning to her. "I think it would be better if you went home, Ally. I need to take care of some things here."
Her blues widened as she walked to him, shaking her head. "Keith, I want to stay with you. Please."
"You'd be safer at home. I can get you a flight tomorrow morning." His tone was cold, and she shrank back, staring up at him. Her boyfriend, the one person she was supposed to be able to trust more than any other.
"Why are you doing this, Keith?"
"What? Making you go home? I think it's fairly obvious, Allura."
"You're wrong. The only thing that's obvious here is that you don't get along with your family. Are you afraid of me knowing that? Of me knowing that your dad is lecherous? Are you ashamed of that, or something? Keith, you're not like him! And I can take care of myself here..." She would've continued her angered tirade but for the menacing look that iced over his maple eyes and chilled her stomach.
"You are going home tomorrow and that's _final_."
"No, it's not! I want to be with you, Keith. Why won't you talk to me? Why are you shutting me out?"
He swore softly, running his hands through his ebony hair. Why couldn't she understand? Why was she being so obstinate? She was in danger, not only from his own father, but from some crazy old man with a big gun. "Look, I think this was a mistake. A _big_ mistake. I should've never let you come with me. All you're doing is getting into trouble."
Hot tears flooded her eyes at his harsh, unfair words. "A-A mistake. Well, you know what? Maybe _we_ are a mistake. Maybe...maybe we need some space from one another." Her voice trembled, but she held her head high.
There was a flash of surprise in his eyes and then they went remote. He gave one curt nod. "Fine with me. I'll book you a flight." He walked to the door, opened it, and stepped out. No look back. No regret. The door closed and Ally fell apart.
COYOTES
A/N: I know, I know. How can I leave them like this? Well, because I can. Not fair. I know. Hope everyone is enjoying the ride so far. It's going to get far better. RL2
7. Stolen Away
WEP owns Voltron.
Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing this story. I am enjoying writing it. After this, I will work on the second story in the _Dark Chronicles of Arus_ trilogy.
Chapter Seven: Stolen Away
Stupid. It had been stupid to approach Allura at the lake, although he _had_ enjoyed forcing her to jump into the cold water. _But I'll be smarter this time. I'm going to capture her and take her far away from her boyfriend. _
He'd followed them back to the house, where he'd witnessed the fight between Keith and his brother. Fights were good. They meant discord and chaos, and that only served to help his cause. And he enjoyed watching Allura. Maybe it was his sadistic nature, but he imagined taking her, making her yield to him in every glorious way, and then discarding her used, battered body.
_And that will make Keith suffer as well. What a wonderful plan._
COYOTES
"So you're sending her home?" Keith gritted his teeth at Cade's bemused voice. "Don't want her to see you like this?"
The fighter pilot spun around and Cade's grin faded into an almost-concerned frown at the haggard look on his younger brother's pale face. And his dark eyes..._are those tears? I haven't seen him cry since...__Tracy._ "Keith, what's going on? What did Dad do?"
"What does it matter? Like you care, Cade." Keith waved his brother away. "Leave me alone."
"Keith, wait. Did he hurt Allura? Is that what happened to her arm?"
"Why do you want to know? You could care less. If you cared, you would've done something years ago," Keith told him and Cade flinched at the bitter venom in his brother's voice. He knew Keith was right; he had only tried once to stop their father's abuse, and it had landed him in the hospital with a broken wrist. He'd vowed then and there, at age ten, to never rebel against his father again.
_And now he's hurt Keith's girlfriend. When will it ever end? _"Are you leaving too?"
"No. I'll stay for Mom." Keith turned back to the phone book and dialed the airport's number. Cade listened as he booked the flight and scowled. He went to the kitchen and took out a Coke. Their father never allowed alcohol in the house; he always wanted to be sober whenever he felt the urge for violence. It was sickening. It was why Cade had moved to Colorado and never came back, until now. He owed his mom that much.
"Does Allura want to go home?" he asked after Keith hung up. Keith took a Coke out of the fridge and took a long pull before bothering to answer. His girlfriend, if she could still be called that, was a sore subject at the present.
"It doesn't matter. She's going."
Cade was surprised, his own dark eyes widening. He'd never heard Keith use such a callous voice when talking about the beautiful blonde. "You two fighting?"
"No. We broke up." Both men turned at the uber-frigid voice as Allura swept into the kitchen. She had pulled a White Sox sweatshirt on over her tank top and her plentiful mane now swung in a long ponytail. She reached into the fridge and took out a Coke as well, unscrewing the cap and taking a deep swallow. It burned all the way down.
"Oh." Cade glanced at Keith, whose eyes were glued to Allura.
"We didn't break up," Keith retorted. "You said we needed space. So I'm giving you space."
She rolled her eyes at him. "Oh please. You just want me out of your hair." Allura stalked from the kitchen, blinking back the maddening tears. She refused to let Keith see how much he had hurt her. Deciding to take a walk, she headed outside.
Cade watched Keith, noting the tense set of his jaw. This was killing his younger brother. "Why don't you let her stay?"
"Stay out of it." Keith left the kitchen, pausing near the door. He had heard Allura go outside, and wondered if he should go talk to her. _She might not want to talk_, he mused, and anger lit his maple eyes. _Besides, what is there to say? _Shaking his head, he walked into the living room and sat down to finish his Coke.
COYOTES
Edward could hardly believe his great fortune. The object of his sadistic affections had come outside by herself and was walking toward the pole barn, her head down. She clutched a bottle of Coke, and looked like she was miles away. Perfect. He moved from his position in the thick grove of trees and came in behind her, striking fast as he put a hand over her nose and mouth and used his other arm to hold her tight against him.
Allura panicked, her first instinct to fight. But knowing her attacker was much stronger, she wrestled one arm free enough to grab her cell phone and hit the third number, sending out a special ring tone to Jeff's cell, a ring tone that let him know she was in danger. Edward knocked the phone away, crushing it beneath one booted heel. Allura tried to break away, realizing she was suffocating.
_Keith, please, help me..._
The beautiful blonde passed out and collapsed, and Edward smiled as he collected her limp body into his arms and headed toward the Chevy truck he'd rented. _And now the game begins_. The thought made him laugh out loud.
COYOTES
The sharp ring startled Jeff and he jumped, staring at his phone. His heart felt as if it had been shocked. _Allura's in danger. She needs me._ He glanced at the clock over the fireplace: 12:03 AM. _Around nine out there.__ I need to get a flight. _He contemplated calling Shannon but passed. If Keith were at all to fault for Allura's plight, the Irishman would kill him and ask questions later. Jeff could at least give the Alaskan the benefit of the doubt.
He made an airline reservation for a flight leaving at 1:20 AM and packed, trying to keep from fully panicking. Allura's cell number wasn't working and Keith's went automatically to voice mail. Chafing from impatience, the Illinoisan drove to O'Hare to wait, praying that his little sister was all right.
COYOTES
Keith jerked, rousing from the fitful slumber he'd fallen into. It was 10:30 PM, and the house was silent, eerie. He stood and listened, deciding that Cade and their father were both gone. Neither slept this early. _Allura.__ I wonder where she is? _A small, cold fear prickled his body and he went to the spare bedroom, becoming upset when she wasn't there.
He ran outside, his chest hurting with painful dread. "Allura! Where are you? Ally!" _She could've gone with Cade, maybe_. He wasn't fond of his brother, but Cade would never hurt her. "Allura!" He raced down the path to the barn, halting when something crunched beneath his foot. _Allura's cell.__ Oh, God. _Keith felt his body tremble and instant terror grabbed him. _That guy with the gun.__ Zack's grandfather. He has her. Please, God, no. _
He took his own cell and saw three new messages. Listening to them, he fought to breathe as the terror shook him to his core. She had called Jeff, using the ring tone that let him know she was in danger. Tears leapt into Keith's dark, deep eyes and he took several breaths to try and calm down. He had to be rational, had to be able to think, if he was going to save her.
He called Jeff, waiting for the younger man to answer. "Jeff? It's Keith. Allura's been kidnapped." He couldn't keep his voice from shaking.
Jeff took a deep breath, holding his anger and worry at bay – at least for now. "Do you know who has her?"
"Zack's grandfather. I'm positive. He cornered us today at the lake." There was so much he wanted to say, but nothing would make anything better. "Jeff, I'm sorry. This is all my fault." His voice cracked, pinged with hot tears.
There was silence on the other end as Jeff tried to fight back the emotional tidal wave that was trying to crush and drown him. "Pick me up at the airport, Keith. I get in at 3:45 your time."
"I'll be there." Keith hung up and knelt on the ground, his desperate tears rushing down his pale, stubbled cheeks. _Allura, I am so sorry, sweetheart. I drove you away and he took you. Please, baby, be strong. I'm coming. _He let out a soul-wrenching sob as guilt, anger, worry, and self-hatred overtook him.
COYOTES
Allura awoke to find herself completely bound, wrists to her ankles, and laying on her stomach. A gag was shoved into her mouth; she feared that if she swallowed, it would slide down her throat and choke her. Tears slid down her face, pooling in the rich black dirt and mixing it into mud. Had her call to Jeff worked? Was he on his way to rescue her? Would he get here in time?
_And just exactly where am I? I'm pretty sure Zack's grandfather kidnapped me, but what will he do to me? Why did I leave the house? Is Keith looking for me? _The thought of him made her cry all the harder. She wasn't sure they were still dating; after all, she'd told Cade they'd broken up. And would Keith even notice she was missing?
She was cold, thirsty, and her stomach rumbled from lack of food. And her injured arm screamed in painful protest at its current position. _Please, Jeff, hurry. I know you're coming. You've never, ever failed me. _She felt something rub against her and heard a faint squeak. Writhing and twisting, Allura tried to scream past the gag to discourage the rat, and nearly choked as she coughed violently, her chest spasming.
_Jeff, help me. I'm so scared right now. Please, please, find me. And Keith...if you've noticed I'm gone, please save me. I still believe in you._
8. Breaking Free
WEP owns Voltron.
Chapter 8: Breaking Free
Keith waited as the passengers emerged from the tunnel, his fists tightening and relaxing, tightening and relaxing. He had talked to the police, who were sympathetic but unable to do much as twenty-four hours had not yet passed. It was just him and Jeff. He spotted his friend and walked forward, catching the Illinoisan's eye. Jeff nodded and made his way over to him.
"Any word?" Jeff was tense, his tone cool. He was understandably angry.
"No." Keith knew there was nothing else he could say to ease Jeff's nerves. He led the way out to his father's old CJ7 Jeep and climbed in. It wasn't fancy, but it would get the job done. Jeff got in beside him and Keith pointed the mid-'80's vehicle home.
"You didn't try to help her." Jeff could no longer hold in the pain, or the betrayal.
Keith visibly flinched. "I wasn't with her."
"Why? She needed you. She came out here for _you_, and you let her down." The words were icy barbs that cut deep to Keith's heart.
"Jeff, I'm sorry. Things haven't been going well between us," he said, as if he could defend himself. This was all his fault. "I should've made her stay inside."
"Yeah, you should have." Jeff was tired and impatient and did not want to be nice. His sister was in trouble – that was all that mattered. "I swear, Mitchell, if anything happens to her..." The threat hung between them, thick and inflamed.
"I promise, Jeff, we'll get her back. If she's out there, we'll find her. No one knows this area like I do."
"She's leaving with me when this is over."
Keith felt sick. "I was sending her home this morning. It's too...she shouldn't have come. She doesn't need this."
Jeff heard the catch in his voice and looked at him. "How is your mom?"
"Okay. She's okay." At least one good thing was happening in his life. They arrived back at the house, and Keith groaned inwardly at seeing both the Navigator and his dad's new Silverado. "Listen, don't say anything to my family."
"Sure." Jeff followed him into the house, pausing when an older man turned on them. It was clear he was furious.
"Do you know what time it is! Where have you been!" Wayne ranted, stalking up to Keith and giving him a hard shove.
"Don't, Dad. I'm not in the mood." Keith attempted to walk by but Wayne slapped him hard.
"Insolent! You always were! This is _my_ house, boy!"
"I am _not_ a boy." Keith stared at his father, his maple eyes beginning to burn with intense hatred and fury. His temper, razor-edged and honed to a fine blackness, whispered to his conscience. _Just let loose. _Wayne snorted and made to hit him again, but the punch never came.
Keith closed his eyes for a second, centering himself. This was the moment he'd yearned for his whole life: the moment he would finally free himself from the chains of abuse his father had trapped him with years ago. Opening his eyes, he swung.
Wayne was no match for the skill, the power, the driving necessity, and fell back from the onslaught. Keith saw nothing, felt nothing. He held nothing back, could _not_ hold it back, not after all this time, not after his father had tried to hurt Allura. When Wayne fell, Keith jerked him back up and continued hitting and striking.
Jeff was awestruck by the savagery with which Keith attacked, and for several moments could not move. Then, when Wayne began to bleed and the blood seemed to drive Keith even harder, the Illinoisan stepped in, grabbing an arm. Keith spun around and struck out and Jeff was forced to let go or suffer several broken facial bones. Wayne collapsed to the ground, panting and bleeding.
"Get up!" Keith's scream was feral and he reached down again for his father. Wayne tried to shy away, tried to cover his face. "Get up! Get _up_!"
"Keith, stop!" Jeff yelled and grabbed both arms, holding on tight while the Alaskan screamed and fought his hold. "Keith, stop it! Stop!"
"No! Let me go! _Let me go_!" Keith struggled harder but Jeff held, and finally his friend did stop, heaving as his breath whistled and rattled in his chest. Wayne lay on the floor, whimpering as his blood became sticky and cold. "Let me go," Keith whispered, and Jeff released him, his heart pounding.
"What happened!"
Jeff looked up to see another man in the doorway, and guessed this was Cade. "I think it's obvious," he said dryly, putting a steadying hand on Keith's shaking shoulder.
Cade's dark eyes narrowed. He had never gotten along well with Keith or their father, and had never liked the abuse that had gone on, but he'd never dreamed of beating Wayne. He strode across the room toward them, and Jeff stepped in front of Keith. Their eyes met with fierce intensity. "Stay away from him," Jeff warned, his voice cold and dangerous.
"I won't hurt him," Cade said quietly, and Jeff finally stepped aside, tense. Keith looked up at Cade, fearing that his older brother would be angry. He was stunned when Cade instead hugged him close. "It's okay," he whispered softly, as if speaking to a child. "It's okay now."
Keith hugged back, suddenly realizing how good it felt to show affection to his brother. All the years of bitter envy, jealousy, and even sometimes hatred slipped away into dark memories as the brothers forgave and forgot.
"Keith? Cade?" They turned at the soft sighing voice as Laura made her way slowly over to them, tears welling in her dark hazel orbs. They smiled at her, then at one another, and she did cry then. What a dream come true: her sons finally reconciled with each other.
Jeff kept an eye on Wayne, who just lay bleeding on the floor. The tall Illinoisan was anxious to find his sister, but knew this was not a moment to rush. Keith held his mother and brother tight, his heart feeling lighter than it had in ages, but when he caught sight of Jeff, his pale face and slumped shoulders, he knew this wasn't the time for happiness. Allura was in danger.
"Allura's been kidnapped. We have to find her," the Alaskan said, and Cade frowned, his dark eyes growing concerned.
"Do you know that for sure?" he asked, keeping an arm around their mom. Laura leaned on him, coughing a little.
Keith nodded, glancing at Jeff. "An older guy cornered us at the lake this afternoon. I'm sure he has her. We have to move fast."
Cade looked down at Laura. "Mom, we need to get you somewhere safe before _he_ wakes up. I want to help Keith find Allura."
"No, Cade. Stay here with Mom, in case Ally shows up on her own. She might be able to escape." It was a dim hope, but Keith held fast to it. His girlfriend was tough. Jeff joined them; quick introductions were made and the Navy pilot motioned to Jeff. "There're a couple of places he might have taken her that we can check out. Chances are he won't go far, because he probably doesn't know the area."
"Stay in touch. I'll come if you need me," Cade said, putting his free hand on Keith's shoulder. His younger brother nodded and gave Laura a kiss on the cheek.
"Take care of Mom." Keith led Jeff out toward the pole barn. "Are you any good with firearms?" he asked as he opened the smaller door. Two gun cases stood in a corner room and Keith took the key to unlock one of them.
"I've shot handguns before."
"Good. The guy who took Ally had a Glock. We need to be prepared." Keith took out a .45, loaded it, and handed it to Jeff. Next he took out a Beretta, loaded it, and nodded. "Come on." The two young men headed for the Jeep and climbed in. Neither wanted to talk; their minds were on the pretty, petite blonde and what she must be going through.
COYOTES
"Hello, gorgeous."
The words broke chills out over Allura's body as her kidnapper knelt next to her and stroked her soft hair. She lifted her head, shuddering at the vicious gleam in his brown eyes. Edward smiled and patted her cheek.
"The game has begun, my sweet lady," he told her. "Be strong. Be courageous. And be assured that your death will be oh-so-painful." He laughed as tears fell from her ocean eyes. -
9. Hard Confrontations
Voltron is owned by WEP.
Chapter Nine: Hard Confrontations
She was dreaming. There was a boat, and water, and she was swimming, carefree and having fun. But then the dream faded into a stark, bleak nightmare as hands grabbed her and brought her below the blue liquid and she was fighting, desperate for air, trying to hold on until help came.
Then she saw his face, only it wasn't the roughly handsome face she remembered. It was blue-green and bloated, the eyeballs threatening to pop from their sockets from the pressure. But he was alive, drowning her, forcing her mouth open, making her die. She tried to scream and choked instead, choking, no air, no air, _no air_!
Allura awoke with a cold jolt as she found she really _was_ choking, choking on the gag Zack's grandfather had forced into her mouth. She tried to calm down and breathe, but the panic from the vivid nightmare carried over into reality, and she couldn't stop herself.
"Hey!" Edward Connor dropped next to her and ripped away the tape that held the gag in her mouth, pulling the offending piece of fabric out as Allura gasped, her face tinged a light blue. "You are a very bad girl!" Edward said and slapped her, hard. Tears came to her eyes at the pain, and that seemed to make her captor happy.
"P-Please, leave me alone," she whispered, her throat raspy and dry. He frowned and touched her face. Allura tried to move away, but her body was numb from being prone for so long.
"You don't have to fear me, my pet. Fear your death. It's going to hurt." He touched her shoulder, then rolled her onto her side, his hand wandering over her chest as she whimpered. "Oh, pretty girl, your boyfriend will try to find you. Don't worry about that." Edward smiled and it was evil and vile, and Allura realized then that she had much more to fear from him than she ever had from Zack.
"He _will_ find me, and you'll be sorry you did this," she whispered, shrinking back at the cold gleam in his eyes.
"We shall see, my dear. We shall see."
COYOTES
Keith parked the Jeep and stepped out, moving around the front of the vehicle, his maple eyes scanning the ground and surrounding area. Jeff came to stand beside him but remained quiet. Inside, he was seething. Keith had let this happen. He had promised to keep her safe, and now she was missing. _And injured.__ So help me, if something else happens before we find her..._
"Come on. There's an old trapper's cabin about a mile from here," Keith said, and his voice was solemn. He knew Jeff was upset, and had every right to be. _I promised to keep her safe. And now some deranged mad man has her. _
"Okay." Jeff did not want to talk to him. He only wanted to find his little sister and rescue her, then take her back to Illinois where she belonged.
They trudged through the woods, both being careful not to snap any twigs or make any unnecessary sounds. Jeff followed behind the stoic Alaskan, fuming, his cobalt blues bright with angered disappointment. _I guess maybe __Shannon__ was right all along. Maybe Keith isn't going to take care of Allura. _Jeff sighed quietly. _Maybe I should've brought Shan with me._
Keith stopped, raising his hand. Jeff stepped closer and gazed over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing at the barely-standing, dilapidated old building. _Allura might be in _there? "What should we do?" he whispered to the older man, and Keith heard the fearful concern in his friend's voice.
"Stay with me. We'll find out if she's in there," he whispered back and the two of them headed down the slope to the cabin, Jeff's chest tightening with dread. Keith, too, felt apprehensive, but knew this had to be done. Allura had to be rescued.
COYOTES
Cade watched as his father began to pick himself up off the floor, groaning in pain. Laura had retired to her room, coughing and exhausted, leaving her oldest son to stand guard over Wayne.
The patriarch of the Mitchell family grabbed the edge of the kitchen counter and hauled himself to his feet. Cade watched, a mixture of disgust and fury on his handsome face. "Where is he?" Wayne growled, turning his scathing gaze on Cade.
"None of your business. In fact, this family isn't your business anymore," Cade said, his own voice menacing. "You had it coming. You've had it coming for a long, long time."
"Don't talk to me like that! I'm your father! You _will_ respect me!" Wayne's face was red as he stalked toward his son.
"You don't deserve any respect. You've never done right by us, Dad. Never. All the abuse, all the women you ran around on Mom with..." Cade stopped, his hands clenched at his sides.
Wayne swung at him but Cade easily sidestepped the stumbling attack. Swearing beneath his breath the older man turned but lost his balance as his left ankle gave out on him. Cade sighed and bent on one knee, grabbing Wayne by the collar and leveling his cold, blue stare on him.
"Mom's leaving you. She's going some place where you can't ever hurt her again. And you won't have any more contact with Keith or me, either. If you try," Cade tightened his hold on the collar, "you'll get far worse than what Keith did today. _Far worse_."
Wayne's eyes widened in shock and a tremor raced through him as he realized he was no longer in charge. His sons had grown up and taken the reins of the family from him. The thought iced his blood. What did he do now? He would be completely alone.
Cade smiled and stood up. Man, that had felt good. He looked out the window and hoped that Keith was having luck finding his girlfriend. His brother deserved to be happy after all the years of being miserable.
COYOTES
Edward jerked Allura to her feet and she cried out as sharp pains knifed through her slender body. He held her arm hard, fingers digging into her soft flesh as he led toward the door. Throwing the door open, he swore as Keith and Jeff confronted him, eyes blazing and fingers steady on the triggers.
"Well, hello, boys. I didn't expect you this soon," Edward said between gritted teeth. He held Allura close to him, and she trembled, her ocean eyes meeting her brother's worried cobalt ones.
"Let her go," Jeff demanded hotly, moving forward before Keith could stop him. The Illinoisan lifted his .45 higher. "You heard me."
"And now you'll hear me. If either of you tries to stop me, I'll kill you both," Edward said, and they were surprised to find how pleased he now seemed about the situation.
"Go ahead. Try to get your gun," Jeff taunted, fury blasting through him. He began to step forward.
Edward laughed and gripped Allura's arm harder. She squirmed against the intense pain, tears forming in her blue eyes. She held them back, though, believing in her brother, and in..._Keith. He hasn't said or done anything. Doesn't he care about me? Why is he just standing there? _
"I don't need a gun, son." Edward pressed a knife to Ally's pale, fluttering throat. "Now let us pass like good boys."
"I am _not_ your son!" Jeff snarled, a red haze beginning to shroud his judgment. All he wanted was Allura safe and this man dead for what he had done.
"Easy, Jeff." Keith spoke softly and in a gentle tone. Getting angry was not going to get them Allura back. Edward grinned and pushed Allura forward. Keith caught her eye for a moment and felt his heart stumble. She was frightened and hurt, and he could tell in that quick look that she was doubting him. He raised the Beretta, his eyes hardening. "She's going with us. Drop the knife." _I will not let her doubt me. _
Edward's response was to flick the knife against Ally's pale cheek, leaving a thin, crimson line. She gasped and almost lost her barely-there composure. Jeff swore and his finger curled on the trigger, one slight squeeze away from firing.
Keith met Edward's heated gaze and swallowed hard, fear cutting through him. Zack had been angry and violent, and that had been easy to deal with. This man, there was such sadism in his eyes, such intense madness..."Jeff, back away. We have to let him take her," he whispered, steeling himself for the hot hatred he knew he'd be facing.
Jeff shook his head. "No. You might not care what happens to her, but I _will not_ let him hurt her!" he snapped and stepped forward.
"You're a slow learner," Edward said and with an expert flick of his wrist cut Allura's throat, not deeply, but enough that a quick river of blood began flowing down the front of her sweatshirt. She shuddered and began to cry, all the more afraid that her brother wasn't going to be able to save her. "Now, let us pass, or the next cut will take her life."
Jeff's cobalt blues flared in horrified anguish and he couldn't move, couldn't say anything. His sister, his confidante, was bleeding and it was _his_ fault. "D-Don't hurt her," he pleaded, and felt Keith's hand grip his arm.
"Come on, Jeff." The Alaskan pulled him to the side as Edward started forward with Allura. Her quiet whimpers drove ice into Keith's heart, and he wanted nothing more than to rip her away from the old man.
"Just remember, if you want her to stay alive a few minutes longer, do not pursue us," Edward warned, and Keith bit back the fury that threatened to overtake him. Jeff was not in any shape to take control if he lost it. Keith knew he had to remain calm, remain cold, even, to insure Allura's present safety.
"I love you," he whispered instead, as she walked by him, and she threw a pained glance his way as Edward pushed her up the slope. _Please, baby, keep believing in me. I **will** save you, no matter the cost. _
10. Rescue and Escape
Voltron belongs to WEP.
Anyone hear anything new about the Voltron movie?
Chapter Ten: Rescue and Escape
"So now what do we do? We can't just let him run off with her!" Jeff said, his cobalt eyes flashing with heat. He couldn't believe Keith had just let the man leave.
"We aren't, Jeff. Look, I know these woods better than anybody. They're on foot for now. We'll catch up to them." Keith was not in the mood to get yelled at. "You seem to forget that I care just as much about her as you do."
Jeff snorted. They were tracking Edward and Allura, staying far enough behind as to not spook the old man. He was unstable at best, and they did not want to further endanger the pretty blonde. "You have a funny way of showing it, Keith."
The Alaskan took two deep, hard breaths. This was Jeff's younger sister, after all, and he was feeling super overprotective. Still..."If I didn't care I wouldn't be out here. I'd be at home, hanging out for the first time _ever_ with my older brother. Okay? Give me a break."
"Give you a break? She wouldn't be in trouble if..."
A shrill scream cut off the cold words and both men took off running, their fight forgotten. All that mattered was rescuing Allura.
COYOTES
"No! No, please...help!" Allura's ocean blues were terror-stricken as Edward gestured to a hole in the ground.
"Oh my dear, this is not going to hurt all that much," Edward told her, his voice impatient. "Get in before I throw you in!"
"Not hurt? Are you crazy? I'll suffocate!" Allura said, struggling in his iron grip.
"Just like Zack did, right? Would you prefer drowning? The lake is just over there," Edward said, pointing.
"You won't get away with this," Ally warned, knowing it did her no good. This man wasn't listening to reasoning. He was beyond rational thought. Her only chance lay with Jeff and Keith.
"Get in the hole!" Edward snapped and pushed her. The petite blonde fell and gasped as her body struck a sharp rock protruding from the ground. She was still bound by her wrists, and movement was difficult and limited in the hole. Edward grabbed a shovel and began dropping dirt over her.
"Help me! Jeff! Help!" Allura screamed and coughed as her captor threw a shovel full of dirt onto her head.
"Shut up," Edward demanded, shoveling like a man possessed. This was the ultimate way for her to die, and he would enjoy every second of it.
COYOTES
Cade's cell phone rang and he flipped it open, dread washing over him at seeing Keith on the ID. "Keith? What's going on?"
"Cade, get the sheriff and meet us up at the lake. Allura's being held there," Keith said, his voice tense and angry.
"Will do. You and Jeff okay?"
"For now. Hurry." Keith sounded breathless.
"Hang on. I'm on my way."
Keith hung up and kept running. Allura's cries were panicked and terrified, and he was afraid they would be too late. _Maybe we hung back too far. Maybe she's...please, please, Lord, let her be alive!_
The two young men burst from the woods into an open field near the lake and saw Edward busy shoveling, making their hearts stop. They could no longer hear Allura.
"Back away!" Jeff yelled as they ran closer, their weapons leveled on his back. Edward paid them no heed, so intent was he on his grisly task.
Keith fired a warning shot, startling the older man. He dropped the shovel and turned to them, a maniacal gleam in his eyes. "You're too late!" he crowed in exultance, throwing his hands to the sky. "Too late!"
"Shut up!" Jeff shoved him away and bent over the hole, bile rising into his throat so violently that he had to turn away and retch.
Edward stumbled away as Keith joined Jeff, his stomach sick at what he would find. There was only dark, heavy soil in the hole..."Allura! No!" The Alaskan fell to his knees and leaned down, frantically digging. There was no way to tell where her head was, and he didn't dare get into the hole for fear of further crushing her. "Jeff, help me! Please!"
The Illinoisan joined in the panicked mad motions, both knowing her time was extremely limited. Neither could hardly breathe; it seemed as if they were getting nowhere fast. Tears streaked down Jeff's face. How could this have happened? Why had he let her come out to this awful place? _Please, Allycat, be alive. Please, sis. I need you!_
"I see her!" Keith yelled, catching a glimpse of golden hair. "Here! Dig here!" Jeff moved closer and they worked together to get her head uncovered. "Ally!" She was completely unresponsive and their hearts seemed to fall forever, shattering as they fell.
They managed to lift her out, Jeff getting into the hole and trying not to step on her. Keith carried her away and laid her down, bending close to listen for a heartbeat. There was no sound. "She's not breathing! Help me!" Keith commanded and tilted her head back, attempting to clear her airway. Tears flooded his vision as he saw the black dirt clogging her mouth. Using a finger, he scooped it out as Jeff watched, stricken with paralyzing terror.
Keith pressed his mouth to hers while holding her nose, forcing air into her windpipe. He glanced at Jeff, anger burning hot in his dark eyes. "Jeff! CPR! _Now_!" His harsh words snapped the younger man from his trance and he began pressing on her chest.
Another breath. Then another. Jeff pumping and pressing, trying to get her heart started. Keith pressed his mouth harder against Allura's, willing her to inhale, to take the air he was so desperately trying to give her. She had to live. He refused to let her die. She had saved his life not that long ago, had given _him _air when he was drowning and didn't think he would survive.
"Come on, Allycat, breathe. Please," Jeff whispered, his face deathly pale, his cobalt eyes watery and slipping in and out of focus. This couldn't be the end, not for her, not when she was so young and full of life.
"Breathe, baby. Come on, baby, breathe. Breathe!" Keith forced another breath into her, knowing time was almost gone for them to bring her back. Was this it? Was it going to end like this, with her suffocation, and them not being able to save her? "I love you, beautiful. Breathe for me, baby, please," he begged, his voice hoarse and ragged. He pressed his mouth to hers again, breathed out, hard, and felt her body convulse as she started to cough. "Ally! Honey, breathe, baby, breathe!" he coaxed, rolling her onto her side.
Jeff sat back and rubbed his hands over his eyes, hardly believing that she was alive. She was coughing, tears running down her face, tracking through the dirt that had clung to her pale skin.
"J-Jeff..."
"Shh, sweetheart. Don't try to talk," Keith said, his heart breaking when she said her brother's name first. _But then, what can I expect? I haven't been there for her lately. Somehow, I've got to get her trust back. _
Jeff recovered from his shock and bent over his sister, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She struggled to look up at him. "Easy sis, take it easy. It's okay now, you're safe," he told her softly and brushed some hair back from her face. He couldn't believe how close he had come to losing her, again. "I love you," he whispered gently.
Keith had taken his jack knife out and cut the rope that had kept her wrists together. He rubbed them, trying to ease away the pain and stiffness. Allura at first jerked at his light touch and then relaxed. She was still frightened, still in shock, and her body trembled. The Alaskan pushed back his anger. Now was not the time for that.
The sound of a wailing siren rent through the chilly morning air as the Sheriff's Blazer rolled to a stop not far from them. Cade jumped out of the passenger's seat and raced over to them, relief evident on his face. "Keith, thank God. Are you guys okay?" his older brother asked, dropping to one knee beside him.
"Yeah," Keith said, his voice subdued. He stroked Allura's long hair, brushing some clumps of dirt from it. She tried to sit up and was gently admonished by all three young men.
"What happened here? Keith?" Sheriff Mike Woodman asked, striding over to them. He stood at six-foot-four, and his steel-blue eyes were frosty.
"My girlfriend was kidnapped last night. We just rescued her," Keith explained.
"Where is the kidnapper now?" Mike asked, his eyes roving over the surrounding area.
Keith and Jeff stared at each other. Rescuing and then saving Allura had been their only concern; neither had given any thought to the old man. "He must have taken off while we were..." Keith's throat choked up with heavy emotion. _I almost lost her. _"She, she wasn't breathing..." Tears clouded his maple eyes and he felt Cade's arm go around his shoulders.
Allura pushed herself up and turned to look at him, and her heart broke at seeing him in tears. _Tears because of me.__ He helped save my life. Maybe...maybe he does still care about me. _"Keith?" Her voice was raspy and she coughed hard, feeling Jeff's hand on her back, patting it.
Keith looked at her and his body ached at seeing the wariness in her blue eyes. She wasn't sure where she stood with him, not even after he'd given her life back to her. "Ally, honey, I..."
"We need to find the kidnapper," Mike said, interrupting. "Do you have any idea which way he might have gone?"
"No, sir. We were a little busy giving my sister CPR," Jeff said hotly. All the emotions he'd tried so hard to repress were starting to boil over. "She was our first and only priority."
Mike scowled at him, but he understood. He'd been in situations similar to this one before. "We need to get a search party going. Do you three want to help?"
"Count us in." Keith's tone was cold. Jeff and Cade both nodded, their expressions grim. Allura leaned back against her brother, avoiding Keith's gaze, as Jeff wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close to his body. Whatever reconciliation was going to happen would have to wait.
They had a crazed, deranged lunatic to find and capture.
COYOTES
A/N: Thank you to everyone who is reading and following this story. I am having so much fun writing it! And to Failte, I do have a book started for Christian teens, about a set of triplets who live in Michigan. It's just starting to roll at chapter three, and I hope to have it finished by this spring for publication. And it will have suspense, drama, and romance in it...because, well, I can't write anything else! RL2
11. Lacking Trust
WEP owns Voltron.
Chapter Eleven: Lacking Trust
Edward stopped and looked around, cursing. He didn't recognize any of the surrounding land. _And where is the truck? I'll never make it without the truck!_ Uttering more obscenities he started off again, knowing that they would be coming for him, and that Keith knew the land and _would _find him.
Perhaps this whole idea of revenge had been stupid and misdirected. There were other ways he could've gotten to her without kidnapping her. The hole, well, that had been _ingenious_. It was just too bad the boys had shown up so soon. And he'd worked hard, too, digging it! And, maybe Allura had suffocated before they'd gotten her out. One could only hope. But, even so, things hadn't gone to plan, and now he was on the run.
_And I will give them a chase. I won't be easy to track, even though I know the Navy pilot will find me eventually. _He knew Keith was driven now by anger, fury, really, and Edward knew all about that emotion. He could appreciate where Keith would be coming from. It would just make the chase even more delightful.
COYOTES
"Jeff, I don't want to stay here. I want to go with you!" Allura said, her blue eyes begging him. "I won't feel safe unless I'm with _you_!"
They were at the police station, where Cade had left Laura earlier. Jeff put his hands on Ally's slender shoulders and shook his head. "Sis, you'll be fine here. The Sheriff's leaving two cops, so you'll be protected. I don't want you anywhere near that man," he told her, and she knew his decision was final. Allura sighed.
"Okay. Promise me you'll be careful."
He tipped her chin up so he could look into her eyes. "You know I will." He glanced over at Keith, who was talking to Cade and the Sheriff. The Navy pilot looked completely miserable. Jeff's cobalt eyes narrowed just a little. _Serves him right.__ He's the reason Allura almost died._
Allura followed her brother's line of vision and heart sank a little. Part of her wanted to go to Keith and make up, but the larger part of herself didn't trust him. She wasn't sure if she would _ever_ trust him again, completely. He'd been so cold and distant, pushing her away in his depression and anger.
"You're coming home with me after this is over," Jeff told her quietly. "I already told him that."
Allura bit her bottom lip and nodded. "I want to go home. I don't think I should've come here. He doesn't need me."
Jeff heard the deep hurt in her voice and hugged her. "I'm sorry, sis. I promise, I won't let him hurt you again." His words were fierce.
"I know, Jeff."
"Jeff?"
The Illinoisan glanced over at the Sheriff. "We're ready to go. You don't have to worry about Allura. My men will keep her safe."
"Yeah." Jeff hugged his sister again and then turned to the group of men, avoiding Keith's gaze. Sheriff Mike Woodman headed to the door of the station, his deputies following with grim but excited expressions. They loved a good hunt.
"Jeff..."
"Save it, Keith. I'm grateful to you for helping rescue my sister, but I'm not forgetting that you're the reason she was in danger." Jeff's voice was cold and low and very dangerous, and the Alaskan backed off, realizing his friend was not going to forgive him easily.
Cade appeared at Keith's shoulder, a hand coming up to rest on it. "Come on, bro. Let's go catch that SOB." Keith nodded and followed Cade out the door, his heart heavy as lead but determined.
Allura watched them leave and forced back a sudden onset of fresh tears. She missed Keith so much, but knew it wouldn't be easy to repair the damage done to their relationship. And when she went back to Illinois, would she ever see him again?
"Allura?"
She turned at the soft voice, staring at Laura Mitchell. Keith's mother was short and quite petite, and very pretty. Her hazel eyes, though, were haunted, haunted by all the pain and abuse she'd suffered through the years. "Yes?"
Laura smiled and indicated two chairs in the back of the room. Allura followed her over and sat down, waiting for the older woman to speak. Laura sat and folded her hands in her lap. "Allura, we haven't really met yet, but I know my youngest son is crazy about you. He just glows when he's talking about you."
Allura wasn't quite sure what to say. Did Laura know that she and Keith weren't really together now? That he had hurt her considerably in the last two days? "I, I really like Keith, too..."
His mother leaned forward and put her hand on Allura's knee. "I know he's hurt you, honey, and I'm not condoning that. But I will say that he'd be miserable and lost without you. I can just tell he thinks the world of you."
"You want me to give him another chance." Allura's voice was flat and low. She glanced at the deputies, who were talking in quiet tones near the door.
Laura nodded. "I know that's not easy. But Keith is a good man, and he'll do right by you." She paused for a moment. "He hasn't had an easy life, you know."
"My parents died a few years ago," Allura said. She wanted Laura to know that _she_ hadn't had an easy time lately, either.
"I'm sorry to hear that, honey. If anyone can understand the loss of parents, I can. My parents died when I was twelve," Laura said, and Allura could hear her pain, still fresh and cutting.
"How did they die? I mean, if you don't mind me asking," Ally said, her ocean blues gentle. Laura smiled.
"I don't. They were both quite avid about the outdoors, and liked to go on long hikes. They were going on a rather long one and I begged to go, but they feared it would be too much for me, so I stayed with an aunt and uncle. My parents, on the second day of their hike, were mauled to death by a bear." Laura's voice had grown softer and lower. "I remember not letting Cade and Keith play much outside. I was always afraid of the bears."
"But Keith told me he loved to go on hikes," Allura said, furrowing her brow.
Laura laughed, nodding. "Oh yes, he certainly did, usually without my knowing. That's why he knows the area so well."
"He took me up to this lake. It was beautiful."
"Ah, the lake. He hasn't been up there in years, not since Tracy died. It was her favorite place." Laura sat back in her chair. "She was his steady girlfriend through junior and senior years."
"How did she die?" Allura found herself feeling sorry for Keith, even though she didn't really want to.
"A car accident, a month after graduation. She was so sweet and pretty. It devastated our town, and Keith was inconsolable. I think that was one reason he joined the Navy. He just had to get away from here."
"But he left you. And he didn't come home very much," Allura pointed out, her voice a touch testy. She still didn't know much about Keith's past, but it was evident his father had been no good.
"Oh honey, there wasn't much to come home to. Cade had already left and their father, well, it was just better for Keith to stay away." Laura paused to study her. "You don't really know much about my son, do you?"
Allura blushed. She felt that she _should_ know him, but obviously it was apparent that she didn't. "No. He doesn't like to talk about his past."
"I thought as much. Keith hates to burden anyone with things he feels he should be responsible for. My husband was, and still is, very abusive. Physically and emotionally, although when the boys got older and bigger it was much more emotionally. And for some reason, Wayne picked on Keith more. I think maybe it's because he's always been more sensitive." Laura sighed, twisting her hands in her lap.
"I-I didn't know that." Allura's soft blues filled with tears. It was no wonder Keith didn't like to talk about his family life – there really hadn't been one.
"I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for him, Allura, because he hates pity more than anything. I just think you should understand why's he been so difficult lately. I would love to see the two of you together."
Allura sat forward, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her fists. "I don't know if it would work out. We've both said some things, and I'm going back to Illinois with Jeff after all this ends."
"Do you love him?"
Allura found she couldn't answer right away. What had been clear to her two days ago was muddied now, her emotions whirling in an eddy of turmoil. She thought of everything they'd been through, of how he'd rescued her from Zack, her crazy ex-boyfriend, helped her get over (mostly, anyway) her fear of water, and how she'd saved him from drowning. They just seemed to fit together. But now..."I'm not sure anymore. I still care for him, but...he's been a totally different person lately. I don't want his personality changing again."
"I understand, honey, really. But please, don't throw what you two have away so quickly. If you two love each other, it will work itself out." Laura spoke quietly and earnestly.
"I wish I could believe that." Allura's statement hung in the air, cold and distant, mocking everything her relationship with Keith had been.
Laura turned her head away, dropping the conversation. She knew she could press the issue, but Allura was vulnerable now and upset. And Keith himself really needed to talk to her, or at least try. He had done the damage.
Ally got up and began to roam the office, afraid for her brother and for Keith. She knew how they both were, and how relentless they could be. Hopefully Zack's grandfather would be captured soon.
_I need to get out of here. I need to clear my head...and my heart. _
12. Painful Goodbye
WEP owns Voltron.
Thanks for all the great reviews and for all the hits. I'm amazed at how many people seem to dig this AU. Almost makes me wonder if I should write another one after this...?
Chapter Twelve: Painful Goodbye
"He went this way!" one of the deputies called out, pointing down a trail that led into a deeper part of the woods.
Sheriff Mike Woodman strode over and bent on one knee, surveying the ground. "Alright. Let's get to it."
Keith, Jeff, and Cade stayed near the front of the group, all three determined to see the man captured. It struck Keith a little funny that they didn't even know his name, but it made no difference. He was going down for what he had done.
The trail became difficult to traverse, and everyone stumbled more than once. Jeff kept glancing around, feeling uneasy. _I never should have let Allura come out here. I knew this wasn't a good idea!_
There was a sharp, agonized cry from the rear of the group. One of the deputies lay on the ground, a bullet wound drilled into his chest. He was gasping, blood soaking him and the dirt beneath him. Before anyone could attempt to help him he was still, the life flowing from him.
Another man fell, this one shot through the back of the head, and everyone scrambled for cover. "Everyone stay down!" the Sheriff yelled, his Colt in-hand.
Edward watched them cowering from his higher vantage point and grinned. He had them all exactly where he wanted them. He took aim, carefully, and fired, hitting another deputy. Another scream of pain, another man dead.
Keith and Jeff glanced at each other. Now they knew why Zack had been so violent and crazy – he was just like his grandfather.
"Keith! Jeff! Why don't you face me like men instead of cowering like little kids?" Edward asked, and the madness was evident in his voice. "Allura was braver than the both of you! By the way, is she still alive or did she suffocate?"
"Son of a..." Jeff started to his feet but Keith yanked him back down. The Illinoisan glared at him, breathing hard as he tried to calm his emotions.
"Take it easy," Keith whispered softly. "He'll make a mistake soon and we'll get him."
Edward had hoped his taunting would bring his two enemies out of hiding, but they remained hidden. _So, they're interested in hide and seek, eh?_ He smiled from his spot high above them. The group had followed his tracks into a miniature valley, and because of the dense undergrowth and foliage, he was lost to them. However, Edward knew the tables were turning on him, as he could no longer see his quarry.
"Come out with your hands up!" Sheriff Woodman yelled, his eyes scanning above them.
"Why don't you?" Edward challenged, and they could hear the sick smile in his voice.
The Sheriff turned to his remaining men, pushing thoughts of the dead men from his mind. "I'll keep him talking. Spread out and find him," he ordered coldly. He wanted this over with.
Keith listened to Edward's condescending voice and swiveled his head in its direction. He nudged Cade and pointed up. His older brother nodded and started to move while Keith turned to Jeff. The Illinoisan listened to his whispered words, a frosty look glossing over his cobalt eyes. They had a plan.
Cade, Jeff, and Keith slowly and with all the stealth they could muster climbed up the steep slope until they crested it and stopped to listen. Surely the old man had heard them coming? All three exchanged grim looks as he spoke again and they realized he had moved.
"Well, well, Keith. Thought you could sneak up on me?" Edward stepped from around a large bush and leveled his Glock on them. "You didn't answer my question before. Is Allura dead?"
The three young men lifted their own firearms. "You can only hit one of us," Keith told him. "Who's it going to be?"
Edward paled a little. He hadn't figured on all of them being armed. "Who does she care the most about?" he asked. "You, Keith, or her brother?"
Keith's eyes darkened until they were nearly black. Two days ago he would've answered himself, but he wasn't sure about that now. He knew Allura was hurt and it was his fault.
"She cares about Keith," Jeff answered coolly. He kept his eyes on the old man, his heart racing. Was he going to have to kill him? When had things spiraled so out of control?
"I see." Edward's finger began to gently squeeze the trigger.
"Drop your weapon!" Sheriff Woodman ordered from behind him, pressing the muzzle of his Colt into Edward's neck. The old judge dropped the Glock, his eyes growing fearful as Keith approached, his maple orbs on fire. "Keith, stand down," Woodman said in warning, knowing the younger man's intentions.
Keith's gaze never left Edward. "Don't worry, Sheriff, I'll leave enough of him intact to arrest."
"Don't!" Edward shouted, trying to run. Woodman let go of him and stepped back.
"Thanks, Sheriff." Keith's first strike threw Edward's head back, drawing blood and teeth. His second punch took the old man back four steps. He pleaded but the pilot took no heed as he advanced, eyes smoking with hatred.
Jeff watched the cold, furious assault and deep within him knew how much Keith cared for Allura. The problem was, would Allura trust him again? And he knew he himself wasn't ready to forgive Keith yet. Too much damage had been done, too much cutting pain administered. He walked up to Keith and stood next to him, both staring at the old man.
He was battered and bleeding and on his feet only by sheer strength of will. Keith glanced at Jeff. "You want him now?"
"Yeah." Jeff approached with long, hard strides as Edward cowered. "Stand up. Take it like a man," the Illinoisan commanded cruelly and his fists pummeled him as he took out his anger and fear. Edward fell, unconscious, and Jeff had half a mind to kneel and keep beating him.
"Alright boys. Take him in," Woodman ordered. Now came the hard part: contacting the families of the dead men. "Jeff, Keith? You two alright?" It was a courtesy question; the older man had never laid a hand on them. They both nodded, refusing to look at one another.
"It's over," Jeff said in a flat tone as the other men walked away.
"Yeah." Keith knew the taller man wasn't just referring to the capture of Allura's kidnapper – he was also talking about his relationship with the pretty blonde. "You're leaving, then?"
"As soon as possible." Jeff started walking away, then looked over his shoulder at him. "And I want you to leave her alone, Mitchell. No calls, no emails, no letters. I want you completely out of our lives."
Keith's shoulders slumped and he felt a hand descend and tighten on his right one. "You going to let him do that? Just let him tell you to stay away from her?"
Keith nodded, feeling tired, alone, and defeated. Who was he to challenge Jeff? Allura deserved better than what he had been able to give her. Jeff was right for taking her home and protecting her. "Yeah, Cade, I am."
Cade sighed as his younger brother stumbled off after the others. Keith had confronted on major demon in his life, but there was another he'd have to deal with sooner or later – his lack of self-confidence.
COYOTES
"Jeff!" Allura ran and threw her arms around him, feeling him hug her close. "Are you okay? Did you find him?"
"We got him, Allycat. He'll be locked away for a long time." There was no reason to tell her of the carnage the old man had caused. All she needed to know was that she was safe now. "I booked a flight home for later tonight," he told her, his voice soft and gentle.
"Okay." Allura looked down and away from his direct blue gaze. She saw Keith and Cade go to Laura and take turns hugging her, and the petite blonde's heart ached. She wanted Keith to hug _her_, to reassure _her_, but knew that wasn't possible. Jeff frowned and tipped her chin up.
"It's going to be alright, sis. I don't want you to worry, okay? Keith won't hurt you anymore."
She swallowed back the rising wall of tears. "I-I know, guardian angel." Jeff took her hand and led her outside, wanting her away from the Navy pilot. If he had his way, she wouldn't ever have to see Keith again.
Keith watched them go and fought down a rising sense of panic and fear. Was this really it? Would she really leave without a word? _Why shouldn't she? What can I say to make it better, to make it right? She's better off without me._ He steeled himself and looked away.
It was going to kill him unless he hardened his heart. Keith resolved to forget her, just like she was forgetting him. A hard heart wouldn't feel the ripping, tearing pain.
A hard heart wouldn't have to love.
13. Moving On
WEP owns Voltron.
MustangAce – You're right, a Glock probably wouldn't be that accurate that far away. I know next to nothing about guns...my oversight. Thanks for catching it. Also, you'd said in another review that you got to see the _Fuddy__ Duddy_. I love that B-17. I saw it years ago at the High on Kalamazoo air show, and it's beautiful (but aren't they all?). They really were, and still are, to me, the Queens of the sky.
K – I know, it doesn't seem too fair to Keith, and as you'll find out, Allura does come to that conclusion. As for getting back together...well, they have some things to work through first, and there will be some distractions...as you'll be seeing in the next few chapters.
Failte – Thanks for the kind words. I had hoped the last line would get to people. That's why I love writing! I'm not the best speaker sometimes, but on paper...well, it's a different story to say the least. Writers have such an impact on people!
To everyone else reading and reviewing, thanks again.
Chapter Thirteen: Moving On
"How is she holding up?" Lisa asked, glancing up at Jeff. They were curled up on the leather loveseat, his arms wrapped securely around her.
"Okay, I guess. She doesn't want to talk about it," Jeff said, shrugging. "I know she's hurting pretty badly, but I can't help if she won't let me." He sounded frustrated, and Lisa squeezed his arm gently. Jeff smiled at her and lowered his head, his lips caressing hers for a moment. He had missed her so much, and knew he owed her for just taking off like he had without telling her.
"I'm glad you're both home," Lisa whispered, laying her dark head against his shoulder.
"Yeah, me too." _And I hope Allura recovers from this._ He knew Keith had hurt her far worse than Zack ever could have, and his eyes burned with an anger that would not die away, no matter how much he tried to squash it.
"She'll talk when she's ready, honey," Lisa said, noting his increasing ire.
"I know." Jeff sighed. "I just, I wish I could resolve this somehow. Beat him up or something. He hurt her bad, Lis."
"Ally's strong, Jeff. She'll get through it." Her cell phone went off and she glanced at it, her hazel eyes widening in excitement. She'd been waiting for this call! "I have to take this, sweetie." She stood and walked from the room, talking in a hushed voice. Jeff watched her, his eyes narrowing. He didn't know much about Lisa's family, but he knew they were not close, and he wondered why she would be so excited at hearing from one of them. Her twin brothers were usually the only ones who called her, especially if they had gotten in trouble.
"Everything okay?" he asked when she came back, his eyes on the large-screen television. When she sniffled in response he jumped up and went to her. "Honey, what is it? What's wrong?"
"I-It's...it was Romelle," she said, rubbing at the tears running down her face.
"Romelle? What's wrong?" Jeff brushed some hair back behind her ear.
Lisa smiled then and hugged him. "Nothing's wrong, Jeff. In fact, everything's great for her."
He frowned, not following where she was leading. "What?"
"You men are so dense! What has Romelle been hinting at for weeks?" Seeing his puzzled look, she sighed. "Sven asked Romelle to marry him about ten minutes ago! Isn't that great?" Lisa's tears were now gone and her hazel eyes sparkled with joy. "She asked me to be a bridesmaid!"
Jeff took a deep breath. "Um, wow. He asked her to marry him? Already? They haven't dated that long."
Lisa stepped back from him and he saw a flash of anger in her eyes. "Oh Jeff, honestly. It's obvious they're made for each other! Can't you stop being overprotective for a second and be happy for them?"
"Well, excuse me for watching out for my cousin!" Jeff walked away, angry and not at all feeling happy. He turned to look at Lisa. "How well do they really know each other? I mean, he might be abusive, or he might run on her, or..."
Lisa let out a muted scream of frustration, surprising him into silence. "Do you _hear_ yourself? Are you really that paranoid? This is _Sven_ we're talking about! The guy who saved your life, remember? He saved Elle and me, too!" Lisa stormed out of the living room, too upset to continue her thoughts.
Jeff stared after her, his blues darkening into thunderheads. He knew who Sven was and what he had done. But after Keith had hurt Allura, he wasn't ready to trust any other guy with the hearts of his sister _or_ his cousin.
COYOTES
"So they're really getting married?" Ally asked Jeff the next morning. Her voice was tense.
"Yeah. I know, it shocked me too, but Elle says she's never been this happy." Jeff glanced up from his newspaper. "You okay, sis?" There was gentle concern in his voice.
"Yeah. I mean, why wouldn't I be? Elle asked me to be her maid of honor."
"I know. But you don't have to be okay, you know. It's only been a couple of days," he told her softly.
Allura sighed. Two days. Two days since her heart had fallen, cold and useless, from her chest. She took a tiny sip of her apple juice. "No, really, I'm fine. I'm excited for her. I mean, one of us should get to be happy, right?"
He watched her walk out and again cursed Keith. It was not right. Allura deserved happiness every bit as much as Elle. The front door opened and he heard a strong Irish accent call for him. "In here, Shan!"
Shannon O'Brien walked in and sat down. "So, is it true? Romelle is engaged?"
"Yep."
"How does Ally feel?"
Jeff met his hard obsidian gaze. "How do you think?"
"We should kill him. No one would miss him." Shannon leaned forward in his chair. "I swear, Jeff, if I ever see him again, he'll end up in the hospital, and that's only if someone drags me off him before I kill him."
"I know, Shan. Look, can we not talk about it now? I'm tired of it." Jeff stood and took his glass to the sink. Shannon sighed. He knew this was hard on his best friend, having to sit back and watch Ally recover on her own.
"Why don't we go out tonight? Take Ginger and Lisa out on the town."
"What about Allura? She's vulnerable right now, Shan. I need to be here for her."
Shannon stood and crossed to the fridge, where he pulled out a Coke and tossed it to Jeff. Taking one for him, the Irishman took a long, deep swallow. "Maybe Ally needs some time alone without anyone hovering over her."
"I don't _hover_. I'm just, well, I need to be here," Jeff said stubbornly.
"You're hovering, Davis."
"What if he tries to call her?"
"Then she'll tell us and we'll go smoke him." Shannon's dark eyes twinkled. "Come on, man, I think she'll be okay for a few hours. She knows our cell numbers."
"Shan's right, Jeff. I'll be okay by myself." Allura's soft, broken voice sounded from behind him and Jeff turned to her as Shannon moved closer.
"Sis, I know you're tough, but I also know how hurt you are, and..."
Allura shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. In fact, I've made up my mind that if he can drop me so quickly, then I can drop him that quickly too." She pasted a too-bright smile on her pale, withdrawn face. "I'm just going to forget about him. He never existed."
The two men exchanged uneasy glances at her words, both knowing it was far easier said than done. Flames that burned that high and hot would not extinguish without a concentrated effort, and neither wanted her to work that hard so fast.
"Ally, lass, you need time to heal. Don't try to push yourself so soon," Shannon said, his tone gentle as he walked up to her. "We know how much you love him."
Her ocean eyes in disbelief. "_Love_? Is _that_ what you call it? How can I feel anything for a guy who pushed me away, who never told me about his home life, and who only got angry with me when I tried to help? _Love_? Ha!" Her words were full of hurt and anger and tears began to torment her eyes. "He doesn't know the meaning of the word! And he certainly doesn't deserve any of it from me! I-I hope he's in a car wreck or a boating accident, or..." Allura completely broke down then, her petite frame shaking as all the wild emotions whirling within her fought for dominance.
Jeff stepped to her side and wrapped an arm around her, hugging her close. He shared a look with Shannon, who nodded and headed back to the fridge. "Come on, sis. Let's go sit for awhile," Jeff coaxed, his voice a gentle, soothing balm to her shattered nervous system. He led her into the living room and settled her on the couch, sitting close to her. Shannon brought her a bottle of water, perching on the arm of the couch, his eyes deep with concern.
Allura cried softly as the men offered silent support. Jeff began to wonder if he had done the right thing by bringing her home so quickly. _She never got to talk to him. And I know how much he does love her. _Ally's sobs quieted and she sipped the water, trying to regain control.
"I-I d-didn't mean w-what I-I said," she sniffled, her voice broken by tears. She looked at Jeff. "I-I still l-love him."
"Yeah, I know, sis." He glanced at Shannon, and the Irishman left the room, not wanting to intrude. A part of him hoped that Allura would make up with the Navy pilot, but the larger part of him was afraid he would only hurt her again.
"What should I do, Jeff?" Ally's voice was low, and the tears had receded. She drank some more water, waiting for his counsel.
Jeff sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's up to you, Allycat. I, uh, I know he cares a lot about you. When we were rescuing you, he was going crazy worrying about you."
"And you weren't?" She paused, thinking for a few moments. "It, it wasn't his fault that I was kidnapped. I should've stayed inside," she admitted, feeling foolish and childish.
"That doesn't matter now, sis. It's over."
"No." She shook her head. "It _does_ matter, Jeff. I was being a brat, and I said some things I shouldn't have." She lowered her head, her heavy blonde hair falling forward to frame her pale, delicate face.
"And he was doing things he shouldn't have been doing, Allura, like pushing you away and not talking to you. You went outside because he was being a jerk." Jeff stopped to collect his anger. It was doing neither of them any good. "Ally, I want you to know that I still like him. I think he's a good guy. But I refuse to let him do things that cause you pain."
Allura pushed her hair back and looked at Jeff, seeing his intense feelings coiled together in his cobalt eyes. They were eyes she trusted. "What if I'm doing the wrong thing? What if I should be out there, working it out with him?"
Jeff shrugged a broad shoulder. "Give him some time to work things out. He's got some stuff to work through."
It sounded like sage advice to her, yet Allura couldn't shake the feeling that this was wrong. She missed Keith terribly, even though she still felt betrayed by his lack of confidence and trust in her. But if he didn't care about her, why had he bothered helping Jeff rescue her? She was feeling confused and she was lonely. Jeff was a great companion, but she wanted the closeness that she had with Keith back.
"I need to get out of here for awhile," she said and stood up, stretching.
"I'll go with you." Jeff stood and frowned when she shook her head at him. "What?"
"I'm just going for a drive. I need to be alone," she told him, keeping her voice soft. "I'll be back after awhile."
"Okay. Be careful."
She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "I will. And, Jeff? Thank you for everything. You're the best brother ever."
He blushed under the glowing, caring words. "You're not such a bad sister either, Allycat. Go on, drive. Clear your head."
"Yeah." Ally went to the foyer, slipped on some sandals, grabbed her keys, and headed out to her Durango. She tried to smile, and almost succeeded. She would be okay, somehow.
Life had to go on, eventually. It _had_ to.
14. Party Blues
WEP owns Voltron.
Chapter Fourteen: Party Blues
Keith walked into his apartment near the Oceana base and took a deep breath. There was a picture of him and Allura, their arms around each other, taken only a month ago, sitting on the table near his old loveseat. _Breathe, Mitchell. You can get through this. It's been two weeks. _He headed into the kitchen to get something to drink. He had eight messages on his machine but chose to ignore them.
Grabbing a Coke he went back to his living room and sat down, using the remote to flip the TV on. The commercial that was on featured a young blonde woman, and the Navy pilot groaned. _Can't I catch a break? _It seemed that everywhere he went, something or someone reminded him of Allura.
His cell rang and his heart stumbled as he checked the ID. It was Lance. _Like it would actually be **her**_. Not in the mood to talk but wanting a distraction, he answered. "Yeah."
"Where have you been, man? I thought maybe you went AWOL. You haven't called me back." Lance was boisterous and loud.
"Yeah, sorry. I've been out of town."
Lance frowned at his friend's subdued tone. "Problems?"
"Yeah."
His friend waited for an elaboration and got nothing. "So what's going on, Husky?"
Keith almost smiled at his call sign. Almost. "Some family stuff. My mom was pretty sick, but she's recovering."
"Oh. Well, I'm glad she's getting better."
"Thanks. So is there a reason for calling me?"
"There's a party tonight at the Officer's Club. I think you should be there."
"Why?"
Lance let out an exasperated sigh. "Did you hear about Shadow?"
"You mean his engagement? Yeah, I heard." Keith's tone was cool. He couldn't believe Sven was getting married already. He hadn't dated Romelle that long. It seemed like he was rushing things a little. ButKeith knew the real reason he was so put-off by the whole thing was that he wanted what Sven had. _Allura, where did we go wrong? Why did we push each other away? _"Huh? What, Storm?"
"I _said_ the party is for Sven and Romelle. You should be there, man. He's _your_ RIO."
"I know. What time is it?"
"Didn't you get the invitation? It's at eight." Lance was really irritated now, his hazel eyes snapping.
"I haven't gotten my mail yet."
"Are you alright? Did you have a fight with your girl?"
Keith thought he should feel angry, but now there was just an aching sadness. He tried hard not to tap into the feeling. "Actually, we broke up two weeks ago."
Lance was rendered speechless for a few seconds. "Oh. Wow. So yeah, you must've had a fight. Sorry to hear it, Husky. She was a really nice girl."
"Yeah. So anyway, Storm, I'll see you there."
"Sure." Lance hung up and wondered what had happened between Keith and Allura. Whatever it was, he knew it must have been bad. Keith had told him not that long ago that nothing would ever make him leave the pretty young woman. _So I wonder if he'll stay in the Navy, then. I know we can use him. _Lance sighed and headed for the shower.
COYOTES
The Officer's Club was decorated with silver and light, icy blue, and was loud by the time Keith showed up at ten after eight. He wore carpenter khakis and a blood-red polo, and with his dark, handsome looks and muscular build, he was an instant draw for the females in the crowd.
"Hey Husky!" He turned and caught Lance's eye and swallowing back a sigh, pushed his way over to his friend. "It's about time you got here, man." Lance clapped him on the shoulder. Thief, Cliff Jameson, to be exact, stood next to him, his icy blues twinkling.
"Good to see you, mate," the Aussie-born RIO said.
"Yeah, you too," Keith said amiably. He was feeling anything but. He caught a glimpse of Sven and Romelle, and wasn't sure he would be able to stay. She was a spitting image of Allura, and thought he had vowed to harden his heart to his ex, he knew it wasn't going to happen, at least for a very long time.
"Keith!" Romelle had spotted him and came running over in a soft, silky sheath dress that showed off her curvaceous body. The pretty blonde threw her arms around him.
"Hey, Elle," he said, attempting a smile for her. "Congratulations."
"Thank you, Keith." She stepped back from him and noted the distress in his pretty maple eyes. Her heart broke a little. Jeff had told her and Sven about Allura's break up, and Romelle knew her cousin was miserable but trying to get over her ex.
"Keith." Sven gave him a hug, and the pilot felt like a jerk, knowing if he didn't get it together he'd bring his friends down.
"Congratulations, Sven," Keith said, smiling. After all, just because it felt like _his_ life was ending, it didn't mean everyone else's was.
"Thanks, Husky." Sven too noted his friend's despair and moved closer to him. "Let's go for a walk," he whispered, and there was a firm set in his coffee eyes. Keith nodded and followed him outside. They could see the Atlantic and smell the coolness of it, and all at once Keith longed to be gone, to be free of this place where he felt he was slowly suffocating.
They leaned on the deck railing, both men staring at the ocean. Sven glanced at Keith. "How's your mom?"
"She's recovering. She's staying with Cade." Keith kept his voice slightly cool. He wasn't looking for an interrogation.
"What about you and Ally? What happened?"
Keith sighed. What _had_ happened? "I don't really know, Sven. I mean, I had some family stuff to deal with, and I took some stress out on her."
"Jeff said you pushed her away. You wouldn't talk to her or let her help. Is that true?" Sven's dark gaze was now pinned to his friend.
"Yes. But...Sven, it's not that easy. You know what my family is like, how my dad is. I didn't want Allura to come with me. I knew how stressed I'd be, but she insisted. We got into an argument, and she told my brother we broke up. What was I supposed to do? And then she was kidnapped..." Images of the petite woman, lying cold and breathless in the black dirt, assaulted him and he took several deep breaths to calm himself.
Sven put a hand on his shoulder to help steady him. Jeff had told him about Allura's kidnapping and subsequent rescue. He knew Keith still blamed himself for it. He and the Navy pilot had been best friends for years, and had been through a lot together.Sven knew the Alaskan was hurting deeply. "Have you talked to Allura lately?"
"No. She left without even saying goodbye, Sven. I think that's a pretty good indication that what we had is over."
Sven debated whether or not to tell Keith that Allura was as miserable as he was. He knew Jeff didn't necessarily want the Navy pilot back in his sister's life, but he wouldn't deny how upset she'd been since coming home from Alaska, either. "I think you should at least call her, Keith. What you two have is special."
"Had, Sven. We're not getting back together. I just have to face the facts." Keith ran a hand through his hair. "Come on. This is your special night. You should be in there with Romelle, enjoying it."
Sven watched him stride away and followed with heavy steps. Yes, this _was_ his night, but it was hard to be happy when his best friend was in agony and not accepting help or advice.
COYOTES
Cassandra Vanderbilt saw Keith come back in and smiled as she excused herself from her friends and walked toward him. Her rich, wine-red dress was short and slinky, and he saw her coming. Part of him was upset that she was still pursuing him, but then again, he was no longer dating Allura, either. What could be the harm in talking?
"Hello, handsome," Cass said with a wide smile. She'd heard that he had broken up with the blonde, and figured he would need some comforting. And she was all about _that_.
"Hey, Cass. You look beautiful," he told her, and reached out to take the wine glass from her. He took a small drink and handed it back.
"Well thank you, Husky. So, how are you doing? I heard about the break up." Her voice was low and soft, comforting. Keith felt himself relax a little.
"I'm okay," he said, glancing around. He met Lance's gaze, and the Californian frowned a little. Keith looked away. It wasn't Lance's business. If he wanted to talk to Cass, he could.
She tilted her pretty face. "No, you're not, Keith. I know you. You always try to bury your problems. You can talk to me," she encouraged, and moved closer to him.
Across the room, Romelle's midnight blues narrowed to slits and she made to storm away from Sven. The Norwegian grabbed her wrist gently. "Elle, don't. They're just talking," he said, quietly but with an authoritative ring. "Let him be."
She raised her eyes to his. "Talking. Right. I know all about Cass, Sven. That woman is only talking so she can drag Keith away from Allura. She doesn't really care about him!" Her eyes snapped like chain lightning and again he was reminded why he loved her so much.
"Elle, Allura is to blame for the break up as much as Keith is." He held up his hands when her pretty face reddened. "Hear me out, honey, before you fly off the handle."
"_Fly off the handle_? Sven, Keith pushed her away! What else was Ally going to do? Keep taking it? And now Keith's associating with his ex, who keeps trying to take him away from her!" Romelle was angry and Sven knew he had to calm her down, and soon. Her loyalty to Allura and Jeff ran much stronger than most cousins, and she would end up creating a scene that would further hurt Keith. He couldn't let that happen.
"Come on, baby. We need some air." He put his arm around her and led her outside. Romelle was shaking, and tears clouded her eyes. "Elle, everything will work out. Maybe they won't get back together. If they don't, then they'll find someone new. I know you're upset with Keith, honey, but he's been hurt too. You can't forget that. He needs as much help and understanding as Ally does. And if Cass can give him some comfort tonight, then let her."
Romelle's mouth dropped open. "Are you serious? You want _her_ to give him that kind of _comfort_?" She tried to pull back from him but Sven's arms tightened and his coffee eyes began to glitter, just a little.
"Romelle, stop it. You _know_ what I meant. Keith needs someone to talk to, and whether you like it or not, Cass knows him. In some respects, she's the best one to get him thinking again. And if they sleep together...well, then he doesn't deserve to have Allura back. Okay?" His tone was cool and irritated, and Romelle took a deep breath before nodding.
"Okay. But I don't have to be _nice_ to her, do I?"
Sven laughed and kissed her forehead. "Just for tonight, honey, and only if she talks to you, which probably won't happen. She knows how I feel about her going after Keith."
Romelle nodded and followed her fiancé back inside. She decided that she wouldn't worry about Keith or Allura, at least for the rest of the party. After all, it was her and Sven's night, and they deserved to be happy.
COYOTES
A/N: I do have a sequel in mind to this story, but am wondering. Do you all really like seeing these guys in AUs, or do you like the regular Lion Force stuff better? RL2
15. Phone Calls
WEP owns Voltron.
K – Glad to see you liked what I did with Allura in that scene.
Failte and GoldAngel2 – Yeah, Cass is such a _wench_, but you have to love her just for that. We all know women like that, right!
Chapter Fifteen: Phone Calls
Cass settled into the booth and watched Keith sit, noting his tense expression. She felt a stab of guilt, knowing what her intentions for the evening were. _But he came with me of his own free will. That has to mean something._
They had left the party and driven to a small restaurant that they had frequented often while still together. Keith ordered a Coke while Cass got a beer. The Alaskan felt uncomfortable and couldn't believe he was here, with Cass. It wasn't right.
"Keith? You want to talk about it?" she asked, her voice warm and kind.
He sighed and drank some of his pop. "What can I tell you? We broke up and I've been miserable for the past two weeks."
Cass pushed down her irritation. If she wanted Keith back she had to play it cool. "Who broke up with whom?"
"I'm not really sure. Things were said, we both got mad, and now we're apart."
Cass leaned forward to touch his arm. "Break ups are always hard, handsome. But there will be someone else, for both of you. You know that. You and I were fine after we broke up."
"Yeah, _we_ were. But Cass, this is different. I...I thought she was the woman I would marry, have kids with, grow old with, you know?" He sighed. This was stupid. Why lament over someone who obviously didn't want him? _I could have Cass. I know the reason she's here with me tonight, and I could just give in. But then I wouldn't be the man Allura fell in love with. _
Cass scowled, but she refused to admit defeat. "Keith, remember how upset with her you got when we were overseas? I mean, maybe that was a sign. Maybe she isn't the one."
"You think I haven't thought about that?" Keith snapped, irritated with both himself and her. Cass looked down, her sorrel mane obscuring her deceitfully good looks. He groaned inwardly. "Look, Cass, I'm sorry, okay? I just, I'm a mess right now. I shouldn't be here, especially with you." He stood up and laid a ten on the table. "Can you get home okay?" Keith hated to ask but was too much of a gentleman not to.
"Can I ask you something, Husky?" Cass looked up at him, and her demeanor was surprisingly serious.
"Sure."
She toyed with the napkin next to her Killians. "You had no intention other than talking, did you?"
"No."
"I didn't think so. Keith, did you at _any_ point tonight want me?"
He was taken a little back by her boldness. "No, Cass. You are a beautiful woman, but I'm just not interested."
"You aren't interested in _any_ other women, Keith, because you still want Allura. It's obvious you still love her and want to be with her." Cass leaned back and smiled softly. "Go call her. If she's half the woman you say she is, she'll take your call because she's miserable too."
Keith smiled a little. "I'm not sure we can repair things, Cass."
She scowled. "Keith, you two love each other. But that's not enough. You have to fight for what you want, handsome. Go, fight for her. You two need each other."
He thought about what she said. It had only been two weeks. And surely Allura missed him as much as he missed her. She had to. "You going to be okay, Lucky?"
Cass nodded slowly. "Yeah. Go, Husky. Go beg her to take you back. You're miserable."
"Thanks, Cass. See you around." Keith walked out, his heart feeling a little lighter. Maybe he would call Allura tonight. He glanced at his watch. It was only ten in Chicago, and he knew Ally usually didn't get to bed earlier than twelve most nights. A spring in his step, he headed for his truck.
COYOTES
Allura had been driving for three hours. No direction, no particular place she wanted to be. She drove every night. It had become her escape from the cage of her reality. Out in the country, down-town Chicago, it didn't matter. Driving required effort and focus, and she didn't have to think about Keith.
Keith. Where his name had once brought thoughts of love, kindness, and security, there was only sadness. She missed him terribly. Jeff had tried to get her to talk about it, but she couldn't do that. There was still too much hurt and pain. Ginger and Lisa had offered to take her shopping, but even the stores of Chicago held no appeal to her. She wanted Keith back. Badly.
Her phone rang, startling her a little. "Hey, bro."
"You coming home tonight?"
"Don't I always, Jeff?" She was becoming increasingly aggravated with his overprotectiveness.
Jeff sighed. "Ally, I worry about you, okay? That's my right as your brother. You don't have anyone else to look after you." As soon as he said the words, he realized his mistake. "Ally, I'm..."
Her eyes teared at once. "Oh, is that it? You feel _sorry_ for me now? Poor little Allycat has no one else to care for her now, right, Jeff? Well, guess what? I don't _need_ anyone else! And I don't need _you_!" She hung up and set the phone to voice mail immediately before shutting it. Tears burned tracks down her pale cheeks. Twisting the wheel, she whipped the big Durango around and headed away from home.
_Who does he think he is? I can take care of myself!_ Allura thought as she pushed the accelerator to the floor. _Men.__ They always think they know everything. He makes me so mad! Maybe I should just leave for awhile. Get away from all of them. I need somewhere I can crash and get over it. Somewhere Jeff won't think to look for me._
A smile crept over her face. _Perfect_. She turned up the radio and let the Dodge romp down the two-lane at eighty-five.
COYOTES
Keith tried to call her cell three more times but left no messages. Something was off. Even if she wouldn't talk to him, he still felt something was wrong. _So what do I do? Call Jeff? Yeah, like _he'll_ talk to me. But I'm worried about her._ Deciding he had no choice, he dialed Jeff's number.
"What do you want?" Jeff snapped as an answer.
"Back off, Jeff. I'm trying to reach Ally and all I get is voice mail. Where is she? Is she okay?"
Jeff heard Keith's deep concern and felt his anger toward the Alaskan melt a little. "I don't know. She won't take my calls either."
"What happened?" Keith asked quietly. He needed to know. They weren't really together right now, but Ally was still _his_ girl.
"I uh, I said something that set her off. She's been driving at night lately, and I called to check on her. She got irritated with me and I told her she doesn't have anyone else to look out for her now."
"Ouch."
"Yeah. Now she won't answer me, I have no idea where she is, and we've got a major storm coming."
Keith heard the nervous worry. "Jeff, she's smart. She won't do anything stupid." He paused, wondering if he dared ask what he so desperately wanted to. "Listen, I want to come. I need to see her. I need to make this right again."
Jeff felt the anger roil up again, hardening his cobalt blues. "No, Keith. She's upset enough as it is."
"She's upset because we broke up, Jeff. I'm miserable and I'm sure she is too. We need each other, Jeff." His voice was heavy with sadness and grief, and the Illinoisan sighed to himself. What could it really hurt? He knew his sister was lonely, upset, and sad, and if he didn't at least let Keith try to repair the damage, he wasn't much of a brother.
"Okay, Keith. But be warned – I'm not entirely over what happened, so if you upset her again..." There was no need to finish the threat.
"Fine. I'll call you with my flight time." Keith hung up and had to smile. _Allura, I'm coming, and we're going to fix this._ His smiled faded as he hurried to call the airport.
COYOTES
Allura shut the Durango off inside the big building and climbed out, a grin on her face. She could relax here. Flipping a light switch, she glanced over at the two old warriors parked next to one another, gleaming wings and fuselages casting sable shadows.
"Hello, girls. I've missed you."
16. Finding Forgiveness
WEP owns Voltron.
Thanks for the reviews! Glad to see you guys are into this. And all of you are really interested in that storm...!
Chapter Sixteen: Finding Forgiveness
Jeff paced restlessly at the terminal, waiting for Keith to come through. The airport was crowded (when _wasn't_ O'Hare?) and the six-foot-two Illinoisan was edgy. Allura was still not answering her cell, and it was driving him crazy.
"Jeff!"
He turned and caught sight of Keith, and realized he had missed the military pilot, who had become like a brother to him. "Keith." They met and looked hard at each other for several seconds, like in an old western movie stand-off. Jeff broke first and pulled Keith into a hug. "I'm glad you came," he said after stepping back.
"Yeah, me too. I had to," Keith said. "She and I belong together, Jeff."
"I know. Come on." They grabbed Keith's duffel bag and headed out to Jeff's big Ram. Lightning slashed like Jack's legendary knife through the heavy night air, and thunder crackled across the edge's of Chicago's skyline.
"So you have no idea where she is?" Keith asked as they left O'Hare.
Jeff shook his head, scowling. "No. And of course she chooses a night like this to go all James Dean on me."
Keith laughed, shaking his head. "Maybe more like Joan of Arc?"
"What?"
"I was trying to think of a female rebel," Keith said, his maple eyes twinkling. "Okay, maybe not like _her_, but James Dean?"
Jeff just shook his head. "It was the first name that popped into my head." He changed lanes. "I can't believe she won't take my calls. It's been seven hours already." There was concerned anger in his voice.
"I know. Where do you think she might have gone?"
"Not sure. Shan, Lis, and Ginger haven't seen her since yesterday." Jeff sighed. "Lisa was right. She told me I was being too overprotective, that I would push Ally away."
"You care about her. That's why you told me not to interfere with her," Keith said, glancing at him.
"What made you decide to call her?"
"Remember Cass?"
"Your ex?"
"Yeah. She and I met up at Sven and Romelle's engagement party and we left to talk. Well, _I_ was only planning on talking. I can imagine what everyone who saw us leave together was thinking." Keith ran a hand over his face. "Anyway, she talked some sense into me."
"Did you know Ally had gotten a new cell phone?"
"I figured so because Zack's grandfather smashed her other one. I just took a guess that she was using the same number."
"What if she wasn't?" Jeff looked at him for a second, hard.
"I would've called Sven or Romelle, or you." Keith fidgeted in his seat. "I wouldn't have given up, if that's what you want to know."
"Yeah." Jeff pulled into a gas station to fill up. "You want anything?"
"Let me get it, Jeff. Her driving around at night is my fault." Keith hopped out of the truck and headed inside. Three girls, around sixteen years old, smiled at him when he walked in, and he smiled back politely. Grabbing two one-liter Cokes he went to the cash register. "I'm paying for pump six, too."
"Sure." The clerk waited for several seconds. "Eighty-two dollars and seventy cents." His voice was bored, distracted, his eyes on the three girls.
"Be glad when gas goes back down," Keith said wryly, handing over a hundred.
"Won't everyone." The blonde clerk smiled, showing off braces. "There was a pretty little blonde in here about an hour ago. Said she was ready to trade her Durango for a Neon." The guy grinned. "Have a great night."
Keith's heart jumped. "A blonde? About five-foot-four?"
"Uh, yeah. Big blue eyes, like the ocean."
"Do you know which way she headed?" Keith was practically over the counter, his eyes dark as night with intensity.
The clerk backed up a little. "She turned left out of here. You know her?"
Keith nodded. "You could say that. Thanks." He nearly sprinted back to the Dodge, feeling the first rain drops on the back of his neck. Jeff was playing with the radio buttons. "The clerk said Ally was here about an hour ago. Said she took a left out of here."
"A left?" Jeff thought hard, figuring out where they were. A small chuckle escaped as he nodded. "I know where she is. I can't believe I didn't think about that place sooner." Jeff pulled the Dodge into traffic.
"Where?" Keith was impatient.
"We keep our Warbirds out a ways at an old airport. No one else really flies out of there much. I bet that's where she went." Jeff swallowed some Coke. "Thanks, Keith. You didn't need to do that."
Keith sat back in his seat. "No, trust me, I did."
Their conversation died away as Jeff headed for the airport and hopefully, Allura. The storm was beginning to come in off the lake, the thunder shaking the truck. Both young men stared through the rain-streaked windshield, hoping that the young woman they both cared so much about was safe and sound.
COYOTES
Allura swept the soft rag over the nose of _Stormy_, her P-38 Lightning, sighing in contentment. No one telling her what to do or how to feel, nothing but the quiet beating of rain on the roof. Jeff's F4U Corsair, the _Tiki__ Bird_, sat just to the left of the Lightning. She knew she should check her voice mail, but also knew Jeff would be on there and she was not in the mood for him.
She took a swallow of the Mountain Dew she had gone to buy an hour before, deciding she would stay the night here and wallow in the glory of the old planes. She climbed onto _Stormy's_ wing and into the cockpit. She slid the canopy closed and let her body relax. _It's been so long since I've been flying. Why haven't I done that lately?_ Ally knew the answer: she was always busy with Keith. She wanted to spend every available moment with him. _And look where that got me. _She rolled her eyes. _I'm done with him. In fact, I'm done with men in general. _
She got out of the cockpit and climbed down, deciding that she would have to get back on the air show circuit, with our without Jeff. _Maybe without.__ He's been so annoying lately. I love him to pieces, but I wish he'd just back off and give me some room._
Her head whipped up and she tensed at the far door banged open and two figures stepped inside. "Allura!"
"Jeff?" _Oh, no. I'm not ready for him to find me yet!_
"Allycat! Are you okay?" He came racing toward her, but he was not the man she found herself staring at.
"Keith? What are _you_ doing here?" Her voice was cold and heavy, but he refused to be warned off.
"Ally, why didn't you turn your cell back on?" Jeff asked, ignoring his sister's cold words to Keith.
She turned her attention back to her brother. "Maybe because I didn't want a lecture, Jeff."
His cobalt eyes narrowed in anger. "I was worried sick about you! If you needed space you could have told me instead of running away!"
Allura felt tears welling up. She didn't need this, didn't need Jeff yelling at her or Keith's quiet but very determined presence. "Just leave me alone, Jeff. I'm tired." She turned away, shoulders slumped, head hung low.
Jeff started to speak but Keith touched his shoulder. Their eyes met, maple asking blue for permission, and Jeff finally nodded. It was obvious his sister wasn't going to talk to _him_. Keith walked over to Allura while Jeff retreated, knowing they needed some privacy.
Keith wanted badly, achingly, to touch the petite blonde, but refrained. He had to get her talking to him, first. "Allura, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I pushed you away and didn't tell you about my family. It was wrong of me to do that, when you were only trying to help me." He paused, wanting her say something, to say anything.
Ally bit her bottom lip. He was so earnest, so determined, that she nearly broke down, ready to just take him back. But as much as she was dying inside for his embrace, his kiss, she fended the longing off. "Do you think it's going to be that easy, Keith? You say you're sorry and I come running back?" She finally looked up at him and his heart shattered a little more at seeing her distrust.
"Allura, I..."
"Don't, Keith. I just, I'm not ready. How do I know I can trust you again after that? You never warned me your dad was abusive! You let me go off with him on the first day we were there! And I was afraid to tell you what had happened because I thought you'd be mad." Allura shook her head and the threatening tears began to course down her cheeks.
Keith had never been able to stand seeing a woman cry, and when she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, he had to act. Stepping close, he pulled her into his arms and wrapped her tightly in them, bending his head to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.
Allura tried to struggle, knowing if she gave in now nothing would be resolved. Keith simply held her, and the closeness of his body, the warmness of his hold, began to break her. She knew this was where she wanted to be, now and forever, and yet her mind told her he could breach that trust again. "Keith, please don't do this to me," she whispered, staring into his dark eyes.
"Allura, I love you. I know I messed up. I know I honestly don't deserve another chance. But I can make it up to you, if you let me. Please, baby, I need you. More than anything," he pleaded softly, his eyes growing suspiciously wet.
How could she turn away from that? "Keith...I-I love you, too. But I, I'm afraid you'll do this again. Remember when you were overseas? You shut me out then, too. It hurts. I don't know if I could take that again." Her ocean eyes met his dark maple ones again, and Keith knew he had to lay everything before her. There could be no more hiding.
"Allura, I promise, if you take me back, I will tell you everything you've ever wanted to know about me," he told her, and there was a fierceness in both his tone and eyes that convinced her of his truthfulness. "Please, honey. I know I've been..."
She reached up and with a trembling finger touched his lips, stilling his passionate plea. "Keith, I do believe you. I'm not ready for...well, I'm not sure how much I trust you right now, but I want to be with you, so much."
He smiled for the first time since seeing her. "I love you, beautiful. Thank you. I promise, I won't break your trust again." She nodded and leaned her head on his chest, hearing his racing heartbeats. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, a physical expression of the promise he had just made.
Jeff leaned against the _Tiki__ Bird_, a smile on his face. He was glad they had made up, but knew if Keith stepped out of line again, he would have to beat him up. An older brother could only take so much stress.
"Jeff?" Allura stepped back a little from Keith to look at him.
"Yeah?"
"Can we go flying tomorrow?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
COYOTES
A/N: Well, there you have it. The big making up moment. And no flying into the storm. Even a brave girl like Ally knows better than that! Anyway, to Ace, who must be the most disappointed, there is flying coming up. Yay! And a few more chapters...Keith has his relationship back on track, but he has to figure out his career move next...any guesses? RL2
17. Looking Ahead
WEP owns Voltron and its characters.
So, here we are, at the end...
Chapter Seventeen: Looking Ahead
"So things are okay between you and Keith now?" Romelle asked the next day over the phone. "We were worried about him."
"Yeah, everything's good. I mean, I'm still not completely sure I trust him, but he knows he has a lot of making up to me to do." Allura ran a hand over _Stormy's_ nose. "He's going to stay here for a couple of days before heading back to Oceana."
"Does he know what he's going to do about his job?" Romelle glanced over her shoulder at Sven, who was talking on his cell to Lance about the same thing. "Sven told me they're going to start phasing out the Tomcats next month, and some of the Tomcat squadrons."
"I know. Keith really hates to give up flying, but he's not sure what will happen now. His and Sven's squadron is one of the first to lose their jets."
"Ally." She looked up to see Jeff. "I'm ready to go, if you are."
"Okay. Romelle, I have to go. Jeff and I are taking the Warbirds out for a run." The petite young woman couldn't hide her enthusiasm.
"I won't keep you. I'll talk to you soon."
"Okay." Allura hung up and smiled at Jeff. It was a beautiful day; the storm had brought in its wake sunny skies and a warm temperature, and the two siblings couldn't wait to get into it. "Let's go."
Keith watched from the large open doors, a soft gleam in his dark eyes. His heart felt lighter than it had in weeks. He knew he had a lot to prove to Allura, and to Jeff, but he was more than willing to do that. Everything was fitting into place – everything but his career. He frowned, knowing he had to decide soon. It sounded like Lance and Cliff were staying in, but Sven wasn't sure yet, either.
The cough and snort of the big Pratt and Whitney R-2800 radial grabbed his attention and he saw the propeller on the _Tiki__ Bird_ catch and spin. Keith grinned as the ground beneath his feet began to shake a little. He had never flown a Warbird, but was beginning to think that he'd like to. Allura started _Stormy's_ Allisons, and the Lightning trembled on its tricycle gear, itching to be back in its element.
Jeff flashed Keith a thumbs-up as he taxied by the Alaskan and headed out to the runway. Allura held _Stormy_ at the hangar doors until Jeff was rolling, and she blew a kiss to her boyfriend, so glad he understood why this was important. Keith grinned and waved, loving the sound of the big twin Allison inlines. The Corsair took off and Allura let _Stormy _roll, eager to be flying again. She had missed it, so much.
"_Stormy _running okay?" Jeff asked as the P-38 drew up just off his right wing.
"Never better, bro." He could hear the smile in her voice and was glad to have her back to her old self again. "Out over the Lake?"
"Sure. You take lead." Jeff pulled the Corsair back, throttling down just a little. _Tiki__ Bird_ slowed as _Stormy_ took over, the two Warbirds headed for Lake Michigan, the hot sun glinting off their cool wings, their strong-throated engines making earth-bound people take instant notice.
"We need to get back on the air show circuit, Jeff." Allura's hands were gentle and firm on _Stormy's_ control wheel, the big USAAF fighter bending and yielding to her every command.
"Yeah, I know. There's a big show coming up at Wright-Pat next month. Be a good place to come back," he said, guiding the Corsair more to the left of the Lightning. "So, is everything alright between you and Keith now?"
"I think so. I'm not really ready to jump back into things all the way again, though." Allura sounded a little unsure, as if she was afraid that wasn't the right thing to do.
"You shouldn't have to. He hurt you, sis. You don't have to just take him right back."
"I know." Allura gave _Stormy _more throttle. The glistening water of Lake Michigan stretched out below them, and on impulse, the petite blonde flipped _Stormy_ up on her right wing and dove, the Allisons screaming in joy at the pick-up in speed. Jeff smiled and followed, and he could hear the big Pratt and Whitney radial working hard, could hear the air rushing over the elegantly curved gull wings, creating the "death whistle" that the Navy fighter was renowned for.
As the two Warbirds descended closer to the cold water, Jeff began to throttle back, his heart beginning to race quicker as _Stormy_ kept going. "Ally, pull her out," he warned, his voice coolly commanding. "Allura!"
"Relax, Jeff." Allura gently guided her winged mount and leveled her off, smiling as she spotted several boats filled with people up ahead. Deciding to give them a memory they wouldn't soon forget, she skimmed over the top of them, rocking _Stormy_ back and forth and waggling the wings.
"You trying to give me a heart attack, Allycat?" Jeff was softly admonishing.
"Just keeping you on your toes, guardian angel," she teased and pulled the control wheel back, lifting the P-38's nose toward the vertical.
"Thanks, sis." Jeff had to grin. He loved flying. It was a part of who he was. "Does Keith know what he's going to do now? I mean about his career?"
Allura sighed softly. "No, not yet. He could learn how to fly the F/A-18 and join another squadron, but I don't think he wants to leave me again."
"I'm always here to keep an eye on you if he does," Jeff reminded her.
"Yeah, he knows that." Allura missed her handsome boyfriend, even though she had only been flying about twenty minutes, and she knew a part of her expected Keith to be gone when she landed. He had done some serious damage to her heart, and it would take some serious work to totally gain her trust back. "What? Sorry, Jeff."
"You sure you're okay with all this?"
She heard his heavy concern and was grateful for his care, even if he did go overboard often. "I'm fine. I guess I'm just worried about what Keith will decide. I don't think I could take it if he stayed in the Navy and had to go on cruises."
"It's been his life for a long time now, sis. And he loves flying," Jeff told her gently. "He might not want to give that up yet."
Allura wanted to say, "But what about me? Aren't I important too?" but she didn't, because the point was moot. Of course she was important to Keith, but she wouldn't make him choose between her or the Navy. If he decided to stay in, she would have to accept that.
"Let's head back, Allura. I'm starving," Jeff said, interrupting her thoughts.
"Okay." She let him take lead, reining the Lightning in just a little. Going to air show would be fun – it would be just the sort of distraction she needed.
COYOTES
Allura yawned and sat up, her ocean eyes heavy with tired grit. "Going to bed already?" Keith asked, reaching up to gently rub her shoulder.
She nodded, trying to cover another yawn. "You staying up?"
"Yeah. Jeff said he wanted to talk." He was quiet, his maple eyes darker than normal. He had a feeling he knew what Ally's older brother wanted to talk about, and he wasn't looking forward to it.
"Okay." Allura stood and squeezed Keith's hand. He squeezed back, badly wanting more affection from her, but knowing she wasn't ready for that yet. _And that's my fault._
"Goodnight, beautiful," he whispered and watched her leave, then glanced toward Jeff's office, where the younger man was waiting for him. Deciding it was time to face the proverbial music, he got up and went in. "Hey, Jeff."
The Illinoisan set a can of Coke down in front of the Navy pilot and gestured for him to sit. Keith obliged, beginning to feel a little uneasy. "Ally go to bed?" Jeff asked, his tone low, cool.
"Yeah."
"Good. It's been a long day for her." Jeff leaned back in his leather chair and openly studied Keith. The military pilot met his direct gaze with his own. Jeff smiled, but there was a hint of frostiness in it. "I'm glad you and Allura made up. I think you're good for her – most of the time. But I want you to know that if you ever hurt her again like that, there won't be another chance."
Keith nodded slowly and reached for his Coke. "I know, Jeff. And to be honest, if I were in your shoes, I'm not sure I would've given me _this_ chance, so thank you. I know how much she means to you."
"Just so we're clear," Jeff said, sitting forward. "So what are your plans now? Ally told me you're struggling with your career."
"I don't know. I want to keep flying, but I'm not much of an F-18 fan, and actually, with some of the Tomcat squadrons disbanding, getting a spot with an F-18 squadron will be tough."
"Could you transfer to another type of work? Like flight training or something?"
"I could. I've been thinking about that. Cade has his own construction company out in Colorado, and he's offered me a job, too."
"Well, at least you have some options." Jeff took a drink of his Coke. "I think Ally and I are going to join the air show circuit again. We both really miss flying and showing the girls off to the crowds."
"Yeah, she mentioned that to me. At least she would have something to keep her busy while I'm trying to figure out my next move." Keith rubbed at his eyes. He was tired, and tired of worrying about what to do next. He wanted to make a decision, and soon.
"You're always welcome here, Keith. You can stay until you know what you're going to do," Jeff offered, knowing his friend was stressed out.
Keith gave him a weary smile. "Thanks, Jeff." He stood up and finished his Coke, then, with a glint in his eye, asked, "Do you know of any Warbirds for sale?"
"Warbirds? Navy or USAAF?" Jeff asked, not at all surprised by the question. He had noticed how Keith had been studying the Corsair and Lightning.
"Either."
"I know where there's a nice Bearcat, out in California. It's been raced at Reno a few times, but it's totally restored," Jeff told him, smiling. "I think you'd like it, and it could definitely keep up with our girls."
"Maybe we should go look at it." Keith grinned and left the office, a light spring in his step. No matter what happened next in his life, he was ready to embrace it with open arms.
The soldier was finally finding his own way.
COYOTES
A/N: Yes, this really is the last chapter of _A Soldier Finds His Way_. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it, and I do have some ideas for a sequel. But first, I will be going back to canonized fiction (well, _my_ type of canon, anyway) with the second installment of _The Dark Chronicles of Arus_ trilogy – _Darkness Descends_. Until then – RedLion2
Also, USAAF stands for United States Army Air Force
End file.
| fanfiction |
ME & EARL & THE DYING GIRL
Written by
Jesse Andrews
Based on the book Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
(Harry Abrams, 2012)
5/21/14 Full White - Pages 1-103
6/3/14 Full Blue - Pages 1-103
6/13/14 Full Pink - Pages 1-103
6/19/14 Rev Yellow - Pages 8-11, 24, 27-27A, 45-45A, 48-48, 54,
57, 58-62, 66, 68, 71, 82-82A, 84, 91-93, 97-100A, 103
6/20/14 Rev Green - Pages 22-22A, 27-27A, 64-65A, 68-68A, 90-91
MEDG Films LLC
555 Grant St., 5th Flr
Pittsburgh, PA 15219INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 1 1
A mediocre-looking teenage boy, GREG, is staring in frozen
horror at a computer monitor, the only source of illumination
in the room.
He is lost in thought, and his thoughts are hell.
GREG (V.O.)
I have no idea how to tell this
story.
He types. His typing is labored.
GREG (V.O.)
I don’t even know how to start it.
Like: I guess I could use one of
those classic story-beginning
sentences.
He examines the screen. There’s one line written: “It was the
best of times; it was the worst of times.”
GREG (V.O.)
(becoming agitated)
But what would that even mean? I
mean, obviously somewhere in the
world it’s the best of times for
someone.
CUT TO:
INT. SOME GUY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY 2 2
Some EXTREMELY FORTUNATE GUY is benefitting from all these
things that Greg is describing.
GREG (V.O.)
Like he’s eating all of this insane
Vietnamese food that he just got
for free and the woman who
delivered the food looks exactly
like the hot girl from Pussy Riot
and now she’s situated in the
corner playing unspeakably
beautiful melodies on the harp.
While he’s just going to town on
that food. So yeah. That’s the best
of times. Meanwhile,
CUT TO:INT. NORTH KOREAN DUNGEON - NIGHT - ALTHOUGH WHO REALLY KNOWS 3 3
WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS IN THIS HORRIBLE GODDAMNED DUNGEON
A COMPARABLY UNFORTUNATE GUY is the recipient of Greg’s
imagined parade of horrors.
GREG (V.O.)
...some other guy is being tortured
by the North Korean government
specifically by being suspended
over a crocodile-infested pool of
acid, and because it’s acid these
crocodiles are just pissed, and
they’re also piping in that gross
smell you get when they spill a
bunch of milk in the school parking
lot, and this beefy torturer dude
is just punching the hell out of
him. Worst of times. Check.
BACK TO:
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 4 4
GREG stares screenward . He has typed the words, “I have no
idea what I am doing.”
He erases them and begins typing again.
GREG (V.O.)
All right. Look. I’ll just start.
This is the story of my senior year
of high school, and how it
destroyed my life, and how I made a
film so bad it literally killed
someone.
Greg finishes typing. The screen says:
“I made a film so bad it literally killed someone.”
Greg is staring blankly at the screen, again.
TITLE CARD: ME & EARL & THE DYING GIRL.
The hot girl from Pussy Riot is back on harp.
INT. CITY BUS - 6:07 A.M., FIRST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR 5 5
GREG is slumped in a seat, yawning and absentmindedly eating
something, as the bus rumbles through the darkness.Blue (6/3/14) 2.SUPER: The part where I begin senior year.
CUT TO:
I/E. SCHENLEY HIGH SCHOOL - BEFORE CLASS 6pt 6pt
Schenley High School is a stately, formidable city block of
barred windows and desert-colored brick. It’s a bit like they
made a penitentiary out of a dismantled Gaza pyramid.
As GREG walks through the school - down hallways, in and out
of the band room, etc. - we trail him.
IN THE FOYER: 6pt 6pt
Greg approaches a lone JOCK.
GREG (V.O.)
I used to think about it this way:
Like a continent, Schenley High
School is divided into nations.
Greg and the jock exchange what’s-up head nods.
GREG (V.O.)
Jock Nation.
IN A VAST GRITTY HALLWAY: 6pt 6pt
Greg bumps fists with TWO STONERS, smoothly declining their
offer to look at a YOUTUBE VIDEO.
GREG (V.O.)
Kingdom of Stoners.
FURTHER DOWN THE HALLWAY: 6pt 6pt
JUSTIN HOWELL THE THEATER KID is laughing uproariously and
flirtatiously at a thing Greg has said.
GREG (V.O.)
The People’s Republic of Theater
Dorks.
IN THE STAIRWELL: 6pt 6pt
Greg observes, unnoticed, as two STONERS pelt a JOCK with
ketchup packets and then book it out of there.
GREG (V.O.)
In the typical high school life,
you belong to one nation, which can
never guarantee you total security.
IN THE HALLWAY: 6pt 6ptBlue (6/3/14) 3.A group of GANGBANGERS smoking cigarettes exchanges sullen
what’s-up nods with Greg.
GREG (V.O.)
But I thought I found a way out.
Get citizenship in EVERY nation.
Get passports to EVERYWHERE.
IN THE BAND ROOM: 6pt 6pt
Greg briefly plays the bass drum in an impromptu jam session
with FOUR OR FIVE BAND KIDS.
GREG (V.O.)
Just be on low-key good terms with
everyone. Casually interact with
them once in a while, in a way that
is invisible to everyone else.
IN ANOTHER HALL: 7 7
Three MEDIOCRE-LOOKING GIRLS are in GREG’S path. One is
quietly but utterly miserable.
FRIEND OF MISERABLE GIRL
The test was today?
The miserable girl nods, wordless; her friends hug her
fiercely, protectively.
GREG (V.O.)
Never commit to an interaction that
won’t be casual or mellow. That’s
like sending troops to Afghanistan.
GREG
(cheerily, hastily)
Ugh! Tests! I’ve been there.
He speeds away--
IN THE AUDITORIUM: 8 8
GREG is watching with polite interest as two GOTHY DORKS,
including SCOTT MAYHEW, play Magic cards.
GREG (V.O.)
Maintain relationships even with
citizens of the most dicked-upon
nations. For example, Scott Mayhew,
the Gothy dork I’m sitting next to
here. It took years of cultivation
to win his trust.
Scott plays a card entitled “Common Highland Berserker.”Blue (6/3/14) 4.GREG
(murmuring respectfully)
Scott, nice berserker.
Icy and sinister, Scott turns his gaze to Greg.
SCOTT MAYHEW
Thank you--
PARKING LOT, STEPS: 9 9
GREG is patiently listening to the violent freestyle rapping
of ILL PHIL, a runty neck-tattooed ne’er-do-well.
GREG (V.O.)
Or the universally ostracized Ill
Phil. Truly, a nation of one.
ILL PHIL
They call me Ill Phil /
I’ll bend you to my will /
my will is ill /
and my name is Phil /
for real /
GREG
Yeah, that’s good.
ILL PHIL
(interrupting him)
take you out back behind the mill /
force you to eat a pill /
now you like “what’s the deal” /
“I just got killed”
GREG
Some great rhymes in there.
FREEZE FRAME.
GREG (V.O.)
This all may appear simple.
REWIND to the FRONT STEPS of school, where this scene began. 6pt 6pt
GREG (V.O.)
In fact, it requires thousands of
social calculations per second.
REPLAY the interactions with the JOCK and the STONERS, again
in slo-mo, but this time from GREG’S POV - ROBOGREG sequence.
In his field of vision are SCI-FI VISUALS: bars and charts.
It’s the data with which a high-functioning autistic person
might negotiate the terrifying social world of high school.Blue (6/3/14) 4A.Overlaid are dozens of Greg’s voices making observations,
barking commands, etc.:
ROBO-GREG (V.O.)
INCOMING: DAJUAN WILLIAMS
DAJUAN WILLIAMS CONFIRMED INCOMING
classifications: jock subgroup 13a
scanning sightlines
execute low-key head nod
CASUALLY TERMINATE HEAD NOD
INCOMING: ALLAN MACCORMICK , JOSH
RAPAPORT
ALLAN MACCORMICK AND JOSH RAPAPORT
CONFIRMED INCOMING
classification: stoner subgroup 4c
eye contact confirmed with allan
maccormick
maintain speed; conceal sightlines
12 to 5 o’clock for fist bumpBlue (6/3/14) 5.INT. CAFETERIA - LUNCHTIME 10 10
GREG, holding a bagged lunch, is standing inconspicuously at
the entrance of the cafeteria. He is peering at A PLACE OF
TOTAL CHAOS: crowded, dirty, and lawless.
GREG (V.O.)
And there were some places I simply
couldn’t go. Like the cafeteria.
Every last square inch of it was
disputed territory. It was Crimea,
Kashmir, and the Gaza strip all
rolled into one. Also the part of
the Indian Ocean with pirates.
INT. MCCARTHY’S OFFICE 11 11
GREG is eating his lunch in a teacher’s office, next to a
DIMINUTIVE BLACK KID. Above them stands MR. MCCARTHY, a young
teacher with a shaved head and arms sheathed in tattoos. He
is notable for his paradoxically mellow intensity, and for
his LOVE OF FACTS.
He is, to Greg, the only reasonable teacher in all of
Schenley .
GREG (V.O.)
Instead, I always ate lunch in my
history teacher’s office...Blue (6/3/14) 6.MR. MCCARTHY
FACT: I will be in 309 for the next
20 minutes. Respect the research.
GREG
(dutifully)
Respect the research.EARL
(chainsmoker’s rasp)
Respect the research.
McCarthy leaves. Greg hits space bar on McCarthy’s DESKTOP to
unpause a YOUTUBE CLIP (from BURDEN OF DREAMS: THE MAKING OF
FITZCARRALDO ). The boys watch and eat, wordlessly.
GREG (V.O.)
...with Earl, whose role in my life
I’m not even going to try to
explain to you right now.
MADISON, probably the hottest girl in school and yet somehow
also a fundamentally decent person, opens a door.
MADISON
Oh hey guys.
GREG
Hi Madison.
MADISON
Greg, how was your summer.
She smiles and touches Greg’s arm. He suppresses a freak-out.
GREG (V.O.)
One last thing. Hot girls destroy
your life. That’s just a fact. It
doesn’t matter if the hot girl is
also a good person. She’s a moose,
you’re a chipmunk, she’s just
wandering through the forest,
oblivious, and she doesn’t even
know that she stomped your head.
BRIEF DISPLAY OF IMAGE OF MOOSE STOMPING CHIPMUNK
Back in Mr. McCarthy’s office, Greg is attempting charm.
GREG
Summer. It’s like... what does that
word even mean? More “summ”?
(beat)
Winter: same deal! More “wint”?!
Mercifully, Earl cuts in.
EARL
McCarthy’s in 309.Blue (6/3/14) 7.MADISON
(brightly)
Oh great! Thanks guys!
She leaves. Greg gazes wistfully at the closed door.
EARL
(still without looking up)
Titties.
Greg continues to stare, lost in thought.
CUT TO:
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - AFTER SCHOOL 12pt1 12pt1
TITTIES are indeed what Greg is staring at, on his computer.
A KNOCK ON THE DOOR sends him into panic.
GREG
jesusjesusjesus
GREG’S MOM
(entering)
Honey? Can we come in?
GREG’S PARENTS are in the room now.
GREG’S MOM is a forceful Jewish mom. She believes her son is
the most wonderful person in the world, and also that she
must take frequent intrusive measures to redirect his life.
She is holding a shrinkwrapped COLLEGE DIRECTORY.
Because this is a movie, she is probably sort of hot, but not
egregiously so.
GREG’S DAD, holding the family cat, is a muumuu-wearing
classics professor, a man of profound spacey weirdness. He is
often making a face of thoughtful concentration. This is to
conceal the unfathomable strangeness within.
Why is he thrusting the cat out at Greg? What is the cat’s
role in this impromptu family meeting? Unclear.
GREG
What do you want.
GREG’S MOM
(tearing shrinkwrap )
First, I was going through your
stuff, and I saw you haven’t even
opened your college directory! So,
please. Have a look.Blue (6/3/14) 8.GREG
Mom. Don’t go through my stuff.
GREG’S DAD
We discussed it, and she gets to go
through your stuff.
GREG’S MOM
Just have a look! It’s fun! It’s
like a menu for your future!
(paging through,
theatrically)
What are you in the mood for? Could
I interest you in... Penn State?
Pepperdine ? Pomona? Ooh--Princeton ?
GREG
I’m not getting into
Princeton.GREG’S DAD
He’s not getting into
Princeton.
GREG’S MOM
Well, not with that attitude.
Victor, you’re just being hostile
because they wouldn’t let you bring
Cat Stevens into Whole Foods.
GREG’S DAD
That establishment practices cat
apartheid, and history will not
judge them kindly for it.
GREG
Mom. Is that it?
GREG’S MOM
It’s not. Honey... your father and
I wanted to talk to you about
something kind of sad.
GREG
What? What happened?Blue (6/3/14) 8A.GREG’S MOM
I just got off the phone with
Denise Kushner. Rachel’s mom? You
know Denise?
GREG
Not really.
GREG’S MOM
You’re friends with Rachel, though.
FLASHBACK - SCHENLEY SCHOOL HALLWAY: FB7 FB7
The very sad mediocre-looking girl from earlier today? The
one being comforted by her mediocre-looking friends?
Yes. That was RACHEL.
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - BACK TO THE PRESENT: 12pt2 12pt2
GREG
We’re not friends, we’re like...
acquainted.
GREG’S MOM
Honey, Rachel has been diagnosed
with leukemia. They just found out.
FLASHBACK - SCHENLEY SCHOOL HALLWAY: FB7 FB7
FRIEND OF MISERABLE GIRL
The test was today?
Hug of sadness.
GREG
Ugh! Tests! I’ve been there.
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - BACK TO THE PRESENT: 12pt3 12pt3
GREG
(mortified at himself)
Oh God.
(beat)
Is that serious?
GREG’S MOM
(beginning to tear up)
Oh honey. They don’t know. They’re
doing tests, and they’re gonna do
all they can. But they just don’t
know.Blue (6/3/14) 9.GREG
(not sure what to say)
That... sucks.
GREG’S MOM
You’re right. You’re absolutely
right. It does suck.
GREG
It sucks real bad.
GREG’S MOM
I know. It sucks. It just really
sucks, really really bad.
GREG’S DAD
It sucks quite a bit.
ALT: It sucks super hard.
She is crying. Hesitantly, Greg goes over to give her a hug.
Greg’s dad joins the hug. He is working the cat into the hug.
They are all squat-hugging on the floor of Greg’s bedroom.
GREG
Dad, Cat Stevens is biting me.
GREG’S DAD
He’s deeply distraught.
The hug stops. Cat Stevens scampers angrily away.
GREG’S MOM
Honey, Denise and I agreed, Rachel
needs her friends now more than
ever.
ALT: Honey, I was talking to
Denise. And we agreed you were
someone who could really make
Rachel feel better.
ALT: Honey, I was talking to
Denise. And we agreed, Rachel could
really use someone to make her
laugh.
GREG
Oh. Yeah. But, we’re not really--
ALT: Mom. You have to remember,
we’re not really--
GREG’S MOM
I know it’s not easy. And it sucks.
But that’s why you should do it.
And need to do it. It’s a mitzvah.
Just give Rachel a call.Blue (6/3/14) 10.GREG
(panicking)
Mom. What do you want me to say?
Hey, it’s that random guy from
school who’s never really paid
attention to you? But now you have
cancer, so let’s hang out?
GREG’S DAD
That’s not going to work. She’ll
think you’re being sarcastic.
GREG’S MOM
(beginning to lose
patience)
Honey? You really can’t do this one
nice thing for someone else? You’re
honestly telling me that you’re--
GREG
UGGGGGGGGGGH FINE.
(beat)
But you have to stop going through
my stuff! Or one of these days, I’m
gonna go through your stuff.
GREG’S DAD
I hope you like tampons.Blue (6/3/14) 10A.INT. GREG’S HOUSE, TV ROOM - FIVE MINUTES LATER 13 13
GREG is on the phone, and his parents have left the room. The
phone is ringing.
INTERCUT WITH:
INT RACHEL’S HOUSE - DAY 14 14
RACHEL picks up.
RACHEL
Hi, this is Rachel.
GREG
Hey it’s Greg Gaines.
RACHEL
(unexcitedly )
Hi.
GREG
Yo.
(beat)
Uh, I called a doctor. He said you
needed a prescription of Greg-acil .
RACHEL
What’s that.
GREG
Uh. It’s me.
RACHEL
Oh.
GREG
Uh, in convenient gel-tab form.Blue (6/3/14) 11.RACHEL
Oh.
GREG
Yeahhhhh .
This is excruciating.
RACHEL
So I guess you heard I’m sick.
GREG
Yeahhhhh .
RACHEL
Did my mom tell you.
GREG
Uh, my mom told me.
RACHEL
Oh.
GREG
So, uh.
(beat)
RACHEL
What?
GREG
What?
RACHEL
What were you going to say?
GREG
Uhhh.
RACHEL
Greg, what?
GREG
I was calling... to see... if you
wanted to hang out.
RACHEL
Right now?
GREG
Uh... sure.
RACHEL
No thanks.Blue (6/3/14) 12.GREG
Uh. You don’t want to hang out?
RACHEL
No, thanks anyways.
GREG
Okay, uh... bye.
RACHEL
Bye.
She hangs up. Greg feels like a colossal douchebag .
INT. GREG’S HOUSE, TV ROOM - SHORTLY AFTERWARDS 15 15
GREG is watching a movie, shamefaced.
GREG’S MOM stomps into the room and switches off the TV.
GREG
Mom. She doesn’t want to see me.
They size each other up.
GREG’S MOM
I’m sorry to be the one to
tell you this, Gregory, but
you do not have a choice in
this particular matter
because you have been given
the opportunity to make a
very real difference in
someone’s life, and if what
you’re choosing to do instead
is just lie around the house
all day like a dead slug then
I am required to step in and
inform you that that is one
hundred percent unacceptable
and if you think that any of
these excuses you’re giving
me is more important than the
happiness of a girl with
cancer, a friend with cancer,
then you have got another
think coming, buddy, because
you are going to pick up that
phone, you are going to call
Rachel, you are going toGREG (CONT'D)
(increasingly frantic)
Mom. Can I just say something
for one second?
(beat)
Mom. Just let me say
something. Just for like one
second.
(beat)
She doesn’t want to hang out
with me. We’re not even
friends. Mom! WE’RE NOT EVEN
FRIENDS.
(beat)
YOUR NONSTOP STREAM OF WORDS
IS MAKING ME FREAK OUT AND
LOSE MY HUMANITY. I NO LONGER
FEEL LIKE A HUMAN.
(beat)
I AM NOW ENTERING A SUBHUMAN
STATE. MOM. YOU HAVE MADE ME
ENTER A SUBHUMAN STATE.
(beat)
urrrrrjjjjjjjnnnnnngggggggh
urrrrrrnnngngggggggnnnnjjj
EXT. RACHEL’S DOORSTEP - TEN MINUTES LATER 16 16
GREG is standing on the doorstep. He looks terrified.Blue (6/3/14) 13.Super: The part where I meet a dying girl
The door opens. It’s DENISE, Rachel’s mom. Denise is a tough
woman in impossible circumstances.
She looks Greg up and down. He returns her gaze with ill-
concealed terror.
Then suddenly she envelopes Greg in her wiry arms.
DENISE
Gre-e-e-e-eg .
GREG
(slightly muffled)
Hi Mrs. Kushner.
DENISE
Denise, Greg. To you, I’m Denise.
GREG
(nervously)
Okay! Good.
Denise leads him inside. On a table in an adjoining room is a
bottle of something, and a glass. Dr. Phil is on.
DENISE
You’re a good kid. You know that?
You’re just a sweet, good-hearted
kid. And handsome.
GREG
I’m not handsome, but thanks.
DENISE
And so modest.
GREG
I’m a modest mouse, I guess.
DENISE
HA. GREG.
(teetering a little)
Where do you come up with this
stuff?
GREG
That’s just a band name, I think--
DENISE
RACHEL. THERE’S A MODEST LITTLE
MOUSE HERE TO SEE YOU.Blue (6/3/14) 14.Rachel appears at the top of the steps. She is guarded. He is
anxious. Denise winks at Greg and glides away.
GREG
Rachel-l-l-l .
RACHEL
Greg, what are you doing here.
GREG
Uh... So the doctor really
recommends a strong dosage of Greg-
itor. He thinks you should start
taking it immediately.
RACHEL
You already used that joke.
GREG
No, because last time it was about
Greg-acil, which, if you recall,
comes in convenient gel-tab form--
RACHEL
Look. I don’t want you hanging out
with me. I don’t need your stupid
pity. I’m fine. You can just go.
GREG
No no no. You’ve got it all wrong.
I’m not here because I pity you.
I’m here because my mom...
(realizing that this is
worse)
...is, uh... making me.
Hmmmm.
RACHEL
That’s actually worse.
GREG
(beginning to panic)
I know. Look. Uh. I know.
RACHEL
Just leave, OK? Honestly. I’m fine.
GREG
(desperately)
Rachel. Please listen to me.
(he gathers himself)
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 15.My mom is going to turn my life
into a living hell if I don’t hang
out with you. She’s basically the
LeBron James of nagging.
(beat)
LeBron James plays--
RACHEL
I know who LeBron James is.
He realizes he has to beg.
GREG
Look. I understand that I’m not
doing you a favor here. What I’m
asking is for you to do me a favor.
RACHEL
You want a favor from me?
GREG
Yes. Please. Let me hang out with
you for one day. I can tell my mom
we hung out. Then we’ll both be out
of each other’s lives. Deal?
Rachel considers this with narrowed eyes.
RACHEL
Deal.
GREG
Word.
He holds out his fist for her to fist bump. But she is at the
top of the stairs.
RACHEL
Is that a black-power salute?
GREG
No. I’m going for a fist bump.
RACHEL
I can’t fist bump you from up here--
GREG
Yes. I realize that now.
INT. RACHEL’S BEDROOM - 30 SECONDS LATER 17pt1 17pt1
They stand near her bed in her girly room--the bed is covered
in pillows, the walls are thick with magazine cutouts of
actors. But it’s also somewhat dark and cavelike , and there’s
not a lot of pink.GREG (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 16.They sit down. Neither of them says anything.
JUMP CUT TO:Blue (6/3/14) 16A.SUPER: EIGHT MINUTES LATER 17pt2 17pt2
They are still on the bed, in slightly different positions.
RACHEL
So. Here we are. Hanging out with
each other.
GREG
Yeah.
Silence.
RACHEL
It’s truly everything I ever hoped
it would be.
GREG
(indicating random book on
Rachel’s desk)
Uh... Sick book.
RACHEL
Thanks.
GREG
(indicating bed)
And, uh. Lot of pillows in here.
How many pillows is that?
RACHEL
I don’t know.
GREG
I wish I had that many pillows.
RACHEL
So ask your parents for some.
GREG
No, uh... they’d be suspicious or
something.
RACHEL
That you’d sleep all the time?
GREG
They’d probably assume that I was
planning to masturbate all over
them.
A long beat. Rachel studies Greg. Greg studies Rachel.
She might be charmed, and she might be existentially
horrified. It’s hard to tell.Blue (6/3/14) 17.GREG (CONT’D)
They’ve got some really gross ideas
about me.
(beat)
But that’s on them. They need to
stop getting sexy pillows.Blue (6/3/14) 17A.She knows he wants her to laugh, and she is not going to give
it to him yet. She maintains an admirable poker face.
Greg reaches over and picks up a pillow.
GREG (CONT’D)
This pillow is a dude, obviously.
But he reminds me of a pillow we
used to have. Francesca. Similar
coloring. Oof, Francesca. In the
end, we had to give her away. That
whole situation was just... a
problem.
(poker face from Rachel)
But there was also a chemistry
between us that no one could deny.
(still nothing [ ALT:
Rachel snorts])
The world thought it was wrong. But
maybe the world was wrong . Wrong
about what could be, between a
pillow and a boy... who became a
man.
Rachel snorts.
ALT: Rachel bursts out laughing.
GREG (CONT’D)
Or, I dunno.
RACHEL
No, that was good. Thank you.
But the moment is not allowed to develop - GREG’S PHONE
BUZZES -
GREG
(checking phone)
Oh damn. I’m sorry - I have to go.
RACHEL
It’s okay. Who was that?
GREG
That was Earl.Blue (6/3/14) 18.RACHEL
Who’s Earl?
Greg looks back at phone.
ON PHONE: A selfie of EARL, menacing, and GREG’S DAD, dorkily
content, both enjoying DRIED CUTTLEFISH.
Plus the message: WHERE U AT?? DUMBASS IMMA EAT ALL UR SQUID
CUT TO
FLASHBACK:
INT. MCCARTHY’S OFFICE - FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL - LUNCHTIME FB11 FB11
We’re back to the first day of school, where GREG was eating
lunch in a teacher’s office with EARL.
GREG (V.O.)
You may remember Earl from 15
minutes ago.
EARL
Titties.
He continues to eat his lunch, looking pissed.
GREG (V.O.)
So, some people think Earl is my
friend. But he’s really not. He’s
more like a coworker. I’ve known
him since kindergarten.
EXT. IN FRONT OF EARL’S HOUSE - ONE DAY MANY YEARS AGO 18 18
Earl lives in a ramshackle house with gutters falling off.
His much-tattooed brother DERRICK slouches and smokes on the
porch. Derrick watches with menace as YOUNG GREG, wearing a
backpack, cautiously approaches from the sidewalk.Blue (6/3/14) 19.GREG (V.O.)
His house is a short walk from
mine, but in a much tougher
neighborhood. His dad’s in Texas,
his mom’s a depressed shut-in, and
his brother Derrick’s dog, Doopie,
will definitely eat me someday.
Derrick chuckles, snaps his fingers, and a GIANT DOG explodes
through the front door, barking furiously. The dog chases
Greg off-camera. YOUNG EARL comes running out after them.
YOUNG EARL
Doopie! Doopie, chill.
EXT. IN FRONT OF GREG’S HOUSE - MANY YEARS AGO 19 19
Similar shot, except of a much nicer house in a leafy
neighborhood. YOUNG GREG AND YOUNG EARL stroll up the walk,
past Cat Stevens, who is asleep.
GREG (V.O.)
So over the years, we’ve mostly
hung out at my place.
YOUNG EARL
What you got, cat. You wanna fight?
Didn’t think so. Punk-ass cat.
INT. GREG’S TV ROOM - MANY YEARS AGO 20 20
YOUNG GREG AND YOUNG EARL happen upon GREG’S DAD, who is
watching Aguirre, the Wrath of God.
GREG (V.O.)
My house has better stuff to do
anyway.
GREG’S DAD
Boys, you’ll want to pay close
attention to this. The insane
conquistador Aguirre is raging
through the jungle, in search of a
golden city that does not exist.
The boys are transfixed. On-screen, Aguirre is freaking out.
GREG’S DAD (CONT’D)
It’s a classic of foreign cinema.
YOUNG EARL
(happily)
Dude’s got issues.Blue (6/3/14) 20.INT. GREG’S KITCHEN - MANY YEARS AGO 21 21
GREG’S DAD is serving the BOYS cuttlefish.
GREG (V.O.)
In addition to the best films, my
house also has the weirdest food.
GREG’S DAD
This is cuttlefish, a sea creature
much like a squid. It is a favorite
East Asian snack food.
YOUNG EARL
(chewing)
Staaaaaaank .
GREG’S DAD
Yes, the smell is odd and repellent
to our Western noses.
GREG (V.O.)
Obviously we come from pretty
different backgrounds. But somehow
we like most of the same things.
INT. GREG’S TV ROOM - MANY YEARS AGO 22 22
YOUNG GREG AND YOUNG EARL are eating more cuttlefish and
trying to watch The Seventh Seal.
Next to them, however, three of their CLASSMATES are munching
Doritos and watching a fourth classmate play PS3.
GREG (V.O.)
And we learned pretty early on that
we were the only ones who liked,
for example, classics of foreign
cinema.
EXT. A PARK NEAR GREG’S HOUSE - MANY YEARS AGO 23 23
YOUNG GREG AND YOUNG EARL are trying to recreate a scene from
Rashomon . Young Greg has a camera and a boom mike. Young
Earl, dressed like a samurai, is sort of spazzing out.
GREG (V.O.)
Why did we like them? It’s hard to
say. Maybe it’s that they were
weird and often violent, like us.
Or confusing and possibly
meaningless, like life.
Anyway, we liked them so much that
we started making our own.Blue (6/3/14) 21.INT. GREG’S LIVING ROOM - MANY YEARS AGO 24pt 24pt
Now we are watching one of their films. YOUNG GREG AND YOUNG
EARL, dressed like samurai, are murdering each other and
knocking over living room furniture.
GREG (V.O.)
We’ve made 42 films.
CUE QUICK CUTS of the GAINES/JACKSON OEUVRE, intercut with
shots of them making their films : *
IN THE GAINES BACKYARD: 24pt 24pt*
GREG’S MOM picks herbs from the garden - a CAMERA-EQUIPPED *
TOY HELICOPTER lowers jerkily into her hair, startling her - *
nearby, YOUNG GREG sheepishly holds the controller while *
YOUNG EARL tries to set him straight - *
YOUNG EARL *
Down is up! DOWN is UP. How *
you still not getting this. *YOUNG GREG *
You keep saying that but it *
makes no sense! **
ON THE GAINES PORCH: *
GREG’S DAD, attempting to grill SWEETBREADS, looks down in *
irritation - he has stepped onto some tracks and a CAMERA- *
EQUIPPED TONKA TRUCK is banging into his feet - *
GREG’S DAD *
Boys! These sweetbreads need my *
absolute focus! *
YOUNG GREG *
Just try not to walk on the tracks! *
ALT: The Tonka truck has cornered CAT STEVENS, who is *
swatting at it irately while wearing ill-fitting clothes - *
ALT: GREG’S DAD sets the dining room table, oblivious to the *
MELODRAMATIC SCREAMING coming from outside and ABUNDANCE OF *
FAKE BLOOD repeatedly spattering against the window - *
GREG (V.O.)
They’re all pretty horrible, but
for some reason we keep making
them. They all have the same
signature ending.
Young Earl has murdered Young Greg. He yells something in a
made-up language at the camera.
YOUNG EARL (SUBTITLE)
Life is a meaningless dream,
floating in eternal silence.
(MORE)Green (06/20/2014) 22.Life is the shadow of death.
BLACKOUT, plus the giant words, “NOW YOU ARE DEAD.”
INT. GREG’S LIVING ROOM - PRESENT 25 25
GREG and EARL have just finished re-watching their movie.
They are both munching squid.
GREG’S DAD
(from doorway)
Truly, one of my favorites from
your oeuvre. A mature investigation
into the nature of violence.
GREG
Dad! For like the billionth time!
You’re not allowed to watch these!
Greg’s dad shuffles away.
EARL
So. You gonna see that girl again?
GREG
(nonchalant)
I mean... probably. Yeah.
Earl processes this. A sweet little beat.
EARL
You gonna eat her pussy?
ALT: gonna play with them titties?
GREG
NO. Come on. It’s not like that.YOUNG EARL (SUBTITLE) (CONT'D)Green (06/20/2014) 22A.EARL
Well, that ain’t right. Might be
her last chance on earth to be with
a man. Can’t make this about you.
GREG
Earl. First of all, if it’s that
high-stakes, I probably won’t even
be able to get a boner.
EARL
Did I say shit about boners? No.
(beat)
Now what kinda cancer even is acute
myelogenous leukemia.
GREG
You know. Cancer of the... thing.
EXT./INT. MCCARTHY’S CLASSROOM - THE NEXT DAY 26 26
Super: The part where I am even more of an idiot than normal
The bell has just rung on the history class of MR. MCCARTHY.
MR. MCCARTHY
Okay. Class. Tomorrow, you must
come armed with an epic fact. Just
one fact. But it must be epic.
CLASS. RESPECT THE RESEARCH.
CLASS
(half-heartedly )
Respect the research.
Mr. McCarthy punches his own biceps.
MR. MCCARTHY
FACTS.
Greg approaches him as his classmates file out of the room.
GREG
Mr. McCarthy? Do you know any facts
about, uh, leukemia?
MR. MCCARTHY
(kindly)
Yes. Leukemia is cancer of the
blood and/or bone marrow.
GREG
So it’s pretty spread out in the
body.Blue (6/3/14) 23.MR. MCCARTHY
Own the fact. Yes.
GREG
How soon do people die from it?
MR. MCCARTHY
Well, it’s often very treatable,
bud. Why do you ask?
GREG
You know Rachel Kushner has
leukemia, right?
This silences MR. MCCARTHY.
Also OTHER NEARBY CLASSMATES (including MADISON).
In retrospect, Greg has said this way too loud.
MADISON
Rachel has what?
INT. RACHEL’S BEDROOM - THAT EVENING 27 27
GREG is back in RACHEL’S pillow-infested room. She is not
happy. He has his head in his hands.
GREG
I’m, like, innovatively stupid.
RACHEL
Everyone was going to find out
sooner or later. I just hate having
to share everything about myself.
Greg is trying to think of a way to help.
GREG
I’m the exact same way. Check it
out. One thing you can do when you
don’t want to deal with people is
just enter a subhuman state.
Rachel looks at him expressionlessly.
GREG (CONT’D)
Here, pretend you’re someone
annoying.
RACHEL
(impersonating an annoying
classmate)
Hi, Rachel. I’m really sorry you
have cancer.Blue (6/3/14) 24.GREG
(cross-eyed, sort of
zombie-like)
urrrrjj jjjunhjh uuhjjghjnj
gnngnngh
Rachel does not know what to think of this. It’s definitely
cute. It’s also deeply stupid.
RACHEL
Does that ever work?
GREG
It works all the time. It’s passive
resistance. That’s what Gandhi was
all about.
RACHEL
I’m pretty sure Gandhi never did
the subhuman thing.
GREG
How do you think India achieved
statehood? Try it: uurrrnng
nnnurrrrjjrjjjj .
RACHEL
(smiling)
Nope.
GREG
Come on! It’s easy. Or another
thing you can do is just flat-out
pretend to be dead. Check it out.
Say something annoying to me.
RACHEL
(impersonating another
annoying classmate)
Hi, Rachel. I just wanted you to
remember that your cancer is all
part of God’s plan.
Greg is being flamboyantly dead. Rachel is enjoying this. But
behind her head, a cut-out of HUGH JACKMAN glares at Greg.
HUGH JACKMAN
Yo. Asshole. Just so we’re straight
on this: You’re advising a girl
with cancer to pretend to be dead?
GREG
(nervously trying to
ignore Hugh Jackman)
urrnghBlue (6/3/14) 25.HUGH JACKMAN
No, seriously. Think about what
you’re doing here, dickhead . Jesus.
Greg is now lying there with a horrified look on his face.
HUGH JACKMAN (CONT’D)
I’ve been doing my broody Wolverine
face on this girl’s wall for five
and a quarter years, and at this
point I’m probably only still here
because she’d feel weirdly guilty
or disloyal taking me down, but I’m
goddamned if I’m letting a little
punk like you waltz in here
stupiding up the place--
RACHEL
Greg, what’s wrong?
GREG
Uh...
(foolishly)
Sorry, I shouldn’t have told you to
pretend to be dead. It was really
insensitive.
RACHEL
I mean... I’m sick. I’m not dying.
GREG
(panicking)
No yeah obviously but now I’m being
all weird about it, and I can’t get
un-weird , because I’m just an idiot
and despite what you just said I’m
clearly still sitting here thinking
“death death death death death”--
Suddenly Rachel enters a subhuman state.
RACHEL
huuurnnrnnnrnnh hurrnrnnrngghjh
Greg processes this.
For the first time in his life, a girl has understood him.
GREG
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING
ABOUT.Blue (6/3/14) 26.GREG (V.O.)
So if this was a touching romantic
story, this is probably where a new
feeling would wash over me and our
eyes would meet and suddenly we
would be furiously making out with
the fire of a thousand suns.Blue (6/3/14) 26A.Rachel stops the subhuman state. Their eyes meet. There is no
makeout session.
GREG
Anyway...RACHEL
Yup.
GREG (V.O.)
But this isn’t a touching romantic
story.
But we did still become friends.
Super: The part where Rachel and I become actual friends
a.k.a. THE POINT OF NO RETURN
EXT. RACHEL’S HOUSE - BACKYARD - DAY 28 28
BEGIN MONTAGE. DAYS PASS.
SUPER: DAY 2 OF DOOMED FRIENDSHIP
GREG
...Daniel Craig’s thing is, he’s
got an accent, so he’s used to
talking with his mouth in a weird
shape. So that’s why he has these
pouty lips like a woman.
INT. GREG’S KITCHEN - NIGHT 29 29
SUPER: DAY 4 OF DOOMED FRIENDSHIP
GREG
...lickable technology, like I
could text you a sandwich. I think
that’s where phones are headed.
GREG and RACHEL walk into the dining room, where GREG’S DAD, *
GREG’S MOM, and EARL are eating dinner-- *
GREG’S DAD *
(to Rachel, indicating *
Greg) *
He has a button on the nape of his *
neck, under the skin. Push it if *
you need him to stop. *
EXT. RACHEL’S HOUSE, FIRE ESCAPE - AFTERNOON 30 30
SUPER: DAY 7 OF DOOMED FRIENDSHIPGreen (06/20/2014) 27.GREG
Animals just live in our homes and
everyone’s cool with it. Animals.
RACHEL
It is kinda strange to think about.
Silence.
GREG
You’re too good of a listener. When
we hang out, I do an insane amount
of talking.Green (06/20/2014) 27A.RACHEL
(giggling)
You just have a lot more to say
than I do.
GREG
It’s quantity versus quality. The
stuff I have to say is idiotic.
Have you not picked up on that? I
guess actually you’re a terrible
listener. Anyway, you talk now.
RACHEL
“I talk now”?
GREG
Like, about stuff... that you’re
like going through... these days...
RACHEL
Oh. You mean, talk about cancer.
GREG
Only if you want to.
He really wants to be a good friend and listener. He just has
no idea how. Rachel takes pity on him.
RACHEL
I can give you 5 minutes of cancer.
END MONTAGE
EXT. STREETS OF RACHEL’S NEIGHBORHOOD - A FEW MINUTES LATER 31pt1 31pt1
RACHEL
The hardest part is watching my mom
try to deal with it. And sometimes,
I mean, I do think... if it ends up
that she’s alone, in that house...
She has no one. She and my dad hate
each other, she has no siblings...
I don’t know what she’d do.
Rachel is somber, but dry-eyed.
GREG
Uh... Don’t cry.
RACHEL
I’m not crying.Blue (6/3/14) 28.GREG
Right.
(beat)
You can cry if you need to.
RACHEL
I thought you just said don’t cry.
GREG
Uhhh
RACHEL
(rescuing Greg)
My dad and I used to walk around
the block and count squirrels.
GREG
(genuinely confused)
Did he work for, like, the squirrel
census?
RACHEL
No. It was just the thing we did,
when it was time for us to spend
time together. We didn’t even talk
while we were doing it. The only
words we said were, like,
“squirrel. Seven. ...two squirrels.
Nine.”
GREG
You need to apply for a dad refund
immediately.
INT. COPACETIC COMICS - LATER 31pt2 31pt2
RACHEL and GREG’s conversation continues in the aisles of a
cluttered, venerable old comics/records/movies store--
RACHEL
So what group am I in?Blue (6/3/14) 29.GREG
What?
RACHEL
Yesterday you were saying, you’ve
mapped out the entire high school
by group. So what’s my group?
GREG
Seriously?
(beat)
Boring Jewish Senior Girls Subgroup
2a.
RACHEL
(disgusted)
Ugh.
GREG
Please appreciate how honest that
was just now.
RACHEL
You’re an asshole. What group are
you in?
GREG
I’m not. I wouldn’t belong in any
group that doesn’t suck. I’m
terminally awkward and I have a
face like a groundhog.
RACHEL
You can’t really think that!
GREG
I don’t think that, I know that.
For a kid like me, best-case for
high school is, just survive.
That’s all you can hope for.
Survive without creating a mortal
enemy or hideously embarrassing
yourself forever.
RACHEL
Just survive until college, huh.
GREG
College? College is going to be
even worse!
RACHEL
What?!Blue (6/3/14) 30.GREG
At least high school is over at
three. And it’s kids I know by now.
College is nonstop strangers! Some
of them live in your room! You can
literally never relax. I see myself
dying of a panic attack two weeks
in. I might just not apply.
RACHEL
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever
heard you say.
GREG
It’s probably not even top five.
Look. High school, college... we’re
forced to spend these years of our
lives in giant herds of randomly
selected people we have nothing in
common with. It’s a nightmare.
Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
Rachel gazes at this weird kid with the self-esteem deficit.
RACHEL
(decisively)
Congratulations, Greg. Tomorrow,
you’re eating lunch with Boring
Jewish Senior Girls Subgroup 2a.
GREG
Maybe you’re not such a good
listener.
INT. CAFETERIA - THE NEXT DAY 32 32
Now RACHEL and GREG are wading through the HORRIFYING CHAOS
that is the Schenley cafeteria.
RACHEL
So where do you usually sit?
ROBO-GREG’S POV: Greg’s system is going haywire. His field of
vision is disastrously cluttered with LABELS and DATA.
The giant red words “SYSTEM FAILURE” are flashing over
everything and making that BURMP BURMP BURMP sound that means
that a computer is about to explode.
BACK TO THE THIRD-PERSON:
GREG
It’s literally like we’re trying to
have lunch in Kandahar.Blue (6/3/14) 31.They sit at a table with ANNA and NAOMI, two of Rachel’s
NONDESCRIPT-LOOKING FRIENDS.
ANNA
Rachel, we just found out the theme
of this year’s prom! It’s “A Knight
To Remember.”Blue (6/3/14) 31A.NAOMI
Knight with a “K.”
ANNA
Medieval prom-m-m-m !
GREG
Isn’t prom like six months away?
They turn their gaze to Greg. Who is this schmuck who’s gonna
talk trash on medieval prom?
RACHEL
Hi guys. Greg’s sitting with us
today. Anyone need ketchup? No?
Rachel goes to get ketchup, leaving Greg to fend for himself.
GREG
Hello.
NAOMI
(fake-nice)
So Greg, why are you sitting with
us today?
GREG
Uh... you know. Lunch. Gotta sit
somewhere. You can’t stand and eat.
NAOMI
You and Rachel seem very...
friendly all of a sudden.
Naomi is patiently, cleverly devising some sort of rhetorical
trap. Anna does not share this patience or cleverness.
ANNA
Yeah. You’re only hanging out with
Rachel because she has cancer.
GREG
What?!
NAOMI
Greg, you’ve never hung out with
Rachel once. You’re befriending her
to feel good about yourself. It’s
okay. You can admit it.
GREG
No! I’m not! Who even does that?
Enter MADISON HARTNER. She touches Greg’s arm.
A MOOSE STOMPS A CHIPMUNKBlue (6/3/14) 32.MADISON
Hi guys. Can I sit with you?
Anna and Naomi gaze at her with coolness, if not hostility.
But RACHEL has re-arrived with her ketchup, so they can’t be
mean to her outright.
RACHEL
Of course.
Greg is relieved that someone else has shown up who is more
of an irritating do-gooder than him.
Madison puts a PILLOW on the table.
MADISON
Sorry, I have to carry this pillow
around and pretend it’s a baby. For
health class. This is a safe place
to put it, right?
RACHEL
(playfully)
A pillow? Greg, what do you think?
GREG
(trying to play along)
Yeah, you better not put it too
close to me, because I might, uh,
just masturbate all over it.
No one understands this inside joke except Greg and Rachel.
A horrified silence settles over the table.
ANNA
GREG, THAT’S WEIRD AND GROSS.
Greg panics. He needs to change the subject. He sees SCOTT
MAYHEW loping clumsily around, his TRENCH COAT flapping.
GREG
Um! Everyone! Check out Scott
Mayhew’s tyrannosaurus walk. Great
way to get from point A to point B.
I think we should all try it.
Success! Rachel giggles. Emboldened, Greg continues.
GREG (CONT’D)
Also love the trench coat indoors.
Climate change! You never know.
Scattered giggling. This is actually working. Greg goes in
for the kill.Blue (6/3/14) 33.GREG (CONT’D)
And will someone please tell me
what is up with this guy’s hair! It
looks like an orc’s pubes!
No one laughs. Oh Jesus.
MADISON
Greg, that’s really mean.
RACHEL
I think he heard you!
He did. He is staring at Greg coldly. Their gazes meet.
Greg grabs his stuff and flees.
INT. MCCARTHY’S OFFICE - A FEW MINUTES LATER 33 33
GREG is sweaty and out of breath. EARL is eating a lunch of
Airheads, Skittles, Coke, and some chocolate chip cookies.
GREG (V.O.)
And just like that, eight years of
carefully cultivated invisibility:
Gone. Fin.
GREG
(taking a cookie)
Your mom made cookies?
EARL
Won em off Ill Phil playin tonk.
Tired a whoopin his dumb ass.
GREG
Why is it even called Scholar
Horizons Biology? It should be
called Scholar Horizons Tonk Or
Sometimes Paper Football.
MR. MCCARTHY enters, holding his thermos.
MR. MCCARTHY
Earl. Greg.
EARL
Sup McCarthy.GREG
Hello, Mr. McCarthy.
MR. MCCARTHY
Earl. Fact: that lunch is garbage.Blue (6/3/14) 34.EARL
Least I ain’t eatin no funky
seaweed-lookin ... tentacle soup.
ALT: spermy dishwater soup. Blue (6/3/14) 34A.MR. MCCARTHY
Indeed, I was just coming in here
to replenish the oracle.
From a tureen on his desk, Mr. McCarthy ladles soup into his
thermos.
MR. MCCARTHY (CONT’D)
Boys, behold wisdom’s very source.
Gaze into the waters of the oracle.
Greg and Earl peer into the tureen. Earl’s description is
accurate. It is a funky seaweed-looking tentacle soup.
MR. MCCARTHY (CONT’D)
It’s Vietnamese. They call it pho.
EARL
Lemme try some one time.
MR. MCCARTHY
(closing pot)
Can’t give you food. Totally
verboten. Try Thuyen’s Saigon
Flavor in Lawrenceville . Tell them
to put it on my tab.
EARL
Ain’t goin to no Lawrenceville .
MR. MCCARTHY
(gently)
Greg. How you holding up, bud?
This is clearly a question about Rachel. Greg does not know
how to fight the implication that he and Rachel have a thing.
GREG
Holding up? Good. But not great.
But I mean, stuff in general, ups
and downs, take it as it comes.
Life has many facets. So... amen.
MR. MCCARTHY
Amen. You owe me multiple essays.
And that is a fact. Gentlemen!
GREG AND EARL
Respect the research.
Mr. McCarthy beams, thumps his own abs, and leaves. Greg and
Earl immediately ladle SOUP into their mouths.
GREG
People just assume Rachel and I are
dating. And it’s ruining my life.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 35.Today I threatened to sexually
assault a fake baby. Then I became
mortal enemies with Scott Mayhew.
Both of those are Rachel’s fault.
I’m sorry. They just are.
Earl stares at Greg, like, Greg. Don’t be a dick.
GREG (CONT’D)
(rebelliously)
But somehow I’m the dick for
complaining about it.
Earl doubles down on his disgusted stare.
GREG (CONT’D)
(backing down)
I mean I am a dick for complaining
about it. I didn’t actually mean
any of that.
EARL
Better play with them titties.
GREG
Does this taste strange to you?
CUT TO:
INT. MATH CLASS - LATER THAT DAY 34 34
GREG is sitting in class. Something is wrong with him. He is
staring dully forward, a look of muted horror on his face.
Slow agonizing ZOOM on his face, scored to the eerie,
melancholy descending chords of movement XIII., “Crucifixus ,”
of the Mass in B Minor by J.S. Bach.
SPLICE with Greg’s POV of the TEACHER, droning distantly and
unintelligibly as if underwater.
GREG’S CLASSMATES all seem to be staring at him.
A cartoon badger image flickers over his field of vision.
The BUZZ OF HIS VIBRATING PHONE frightens the LIVING SHIT OUT
OF HIM.
Greg looks at his phone. Earl has texted him a message: that
soup had drugs . Greg looks up at the teacher in horror.
SUPER: The part where I accidentally am on drugs
The bell rings. Greg jumps to his feet. Then, immediately, he
falls down.GREG (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 36.INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER 35 35
Greg is in a crowded hallway, attempting to make his way out
of school. His eyes are wild and his movements clumsy.
SPLICE with his ROBO-GREG POV, which is distorted and
malfunctioning. The badger image continues to blip over his
field of vision. Sometimes the badger has tentacles.
ROBO-GREG (V.O.)
INCOMING: TWO GUYS
GUYS CONFIRMED INCOMING
classification: uhhh
BADGER: INPUT NOT RECOGNIZED
execute pigeon dance
ERROR: TERMINATE PIGEON DANCE
INCOMING: EIGHTEEN PEOPLE OH GOD
SYSTEM ERROR: TWO BADGERS
JUST DON’T LOOK AT ANYONE
EXTREME SYSTEM ERROR
DON’T FALL DOWN OR LOOK AT ANYONE
Suddenly and frighteningly, EARL is right in front of him -
EARL
McCarthy must put weed in that
soup. Because I am lit.
GREG
Oh my God. I’m supposed to go see
Rachel.
EARL
You do that. I’m goin to your house
and grubbin on all your dad’s food.
GREG
No! You have to come help!
EARL
Help with what?
GREG
Help!!
OMITTED 36 36Blue (6/3/14) 37.INT. CITY BUS ON THE WAY HOME - TEN MINUTES LATER 37 37
GREG is still wild-eyed, glancing around suspiciously, and
trying to be less conspicuous by slouching in his seat. This
behavior is extremely conspicuous.
EARL tries to distract him--
EARL
In class do McCarthy act all stoned
and shit?
GREG
Uh. I guess he, uh... Not all the
time, but like, sometimes... or not
sometimes, but... You know how he
is, he’s uh... Huh.
EARL
Goddamn, son. You can’t even put a
goddamn sentence together.
GREG
It’s insane that Mr. McCarthy eats
soup with drugs in it.
EARL
Keep your damn voice down.
Indeed. Sitting behind them is SCOTT MAYHEW.
He has heard everything.Blue (6/3/14) 38.EXT. RACHEL’S DOORSTEP 38 38
Greg and Earl are standing on the doorstep.
GREG
(unnecessarily whispering)
We can’t tell anyone we’re on
drugs.
EARL
Why the hell not?
Beat.
GREG
Because then they’ll know.
Denise opens the door, swaying a little -
DENISE
It’s my humble little mouse! And
who is his little mouse friend?
Neither Greg nor Earl says anything. Then they both say
something at the same time.
DENISE (CONT’D)
Sorry?Blue (6/3/14) 39.EARL
(too loud, borderline
confrontational)
Earl Jackson.
GREG
Earl’s just, uh, you know, he’s my
coworker, and he’s a great guy, and
we were just hanging out, uhhh...
and not really doing anything, and
Rachel’s about to lose all her
hair, so we just wanted to say hey,
you know, what’s up. Goodbye, hair.
Good riddance. Because she is gonna
look great without hair. That’s a
fact. So we just wanted to say,
what’s up.
But Denise isn’t sober enough to realize they’re being weird.
DENISE
RACHEL! We’ve got two cute little
mouse boys on our doorstep.
(flirtatiously)
Would you like a little cheese?
GREG
Sure.EARL
Naw, we good.
INT. RACHEL’S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER 39 39
RACHEL is guarded; EARL, unreadable; GREG, malfunctioning.
RACHEL
Hello, Earl.
EARL
Hi, Rachel. I like your room.
RACHEL
Thank you. Greg thinks it’s too
girly.
GREG
No! This room is great! What are
you talking about?
EARL
Course it’s girly. It’s a girl’s
damn room. My room ain’t got no
pictures of James Bond in no thong.
GREG
(laughing nervously)
But if it did... that’d be weird.Blue (6/3/14) 40.An uneasy silence.
EARL
So Rachel. We came to check up on
you.
RACHEL
Thanks.
GREG
Yeah, chemotherapy. That really
sucks.
EARL
(shoving Greg)
Dude. Don’t say it sucks.
RACHEL
It does kind of suck.
EARL
Yeah, but you gotta do it, so...
RACHEL
I guess.
By this point Rachel and Earl are both staring at the ground.
Clearly Greg has to say something.
GREG
Uhhhhh.
Earl and Rachel look at him expectantly. Greg literally
cannot think of a thing to say. He opens his mouth and hopes
words will come out.
GREG (CONT’D)
Buhhhhhh .
RACHEL
(beginning to sound
tearful)
You guys can go if you want.
Greg panics.
GREG
We’re on drugs.
EARL
(face in hands again)
Goddamn.
RACHEL
Why are you on drugs?Blue (6/3/14) 41.GREG
We’re accidentally on drugs.
RACHEL
Accidentally?
EARL
McCarthy gave us some of his soup--
GREG
(hastily)
Mr. McCarthy gave us some of his
totally normal soup. But it was,
uh, the last of the soup. So we had
to go get more. From a restaurant.
On the fifth floor of an office
building. And in the same building
there was a Jamaican embassy.
No one knows where this is going.
GREG (CONT’D)
We got trapped in an elevator with
a Rastafarian. He just hotboxed the
whole elevator. We were in there
for 25 minutes. We had to breathe
the weird marijuana air. Earl. Am I
right.
Earl is utterly disgusted. But he has to go along with it.
EARL
Yeah. That’s what happened.
But thank God: Rachel thinks that these confused, lying boys
are being kind of sweet.
RACHEL
You guys had quite an adventure.
GREG
Being on drugs sucks... and then
being around someone on drugs
sucks... this whole situation sucks
super bad and it’s all my fault--
EARL
Man, shut up. Makin errything about
your druggy ass.
(to Rachel)
I’m in the mood for some damn ice
cream. You like ice cream?Blue (6/3/14) 42.EXT./INT. TABLE OUTSIDE ICE-CREAM PLACE 40 40
EARL and RACHEL are chatting. GREG is utterly absorbed in his
ice cream, holding it several inches in front of his face.
Super: The part where it turns out Earl holds nothing sacred
RACHEL
So you know Greg from class?
EARL
I known Greg ever since we was
little. You know I was in y’all’s
kindergarten, right?
RACHEL
Really?
EARL
Yeah. I remember you. You were the
girl who called Justin Jones
perverted, for showing girls the
birthmark on his butt.
RACHEL
Oh my God! Yes!
EARL
Dude came running up to you. Showed
you his butt. You was all calm.
Said, “Justin. Only perverts show
their butts.” I was right there.
RACHEL
It’s amazing you remember that.
EARL
You was a hero. Shut his perverted
ass right down. Never forget it.
RACHEL
So you and Greg are coworkers?
EARL
Naw, we friends. He just hates
callin anyone his friend. Dude’s
got issues.
RACHEL
Yeah! He does! What’s going on?
EARL
Man, I don’t even know. Might be
his folks. Dude’s mom always tellin
him how handsome he is, which... he
ain’t.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 43.So he think he can’t trust nobody
who’s close to him. Dude’s weird-
ass dad don’t socialize with nobody
cept the cat. So that’s a role
model ain’t got no friends.
Bottom line, dude’s terrified to
call anybody his friend. Because
they might say, hold up, bro. I
ain’t your friend. And then he’d
have to kill himself.
RACHEL
Wow.
(beat)
But how are you “coworkers”?
Earl regards her and silently comes to a decision.
EARL
Well, we uh... we make films.
RACHEL
Movies?
EARL
Yeah. We been makin em for years.
We made like 42 films in total.
RACHEL
Greg, you never told me!
GREG’S POV:
Rachel’s voice is indistinct, underwater. He cannot hear much
over the “ MURMF ORMF RUMF” sound of his own rapturous eating.
Also the beautiful harp music is playing.
BACK TO THIRD-PERSON:
Greg nods briskly, goes “mm-hmm,” and goes back to eating.
EARL
We ain’t told nobody about em. They
suck. I mean, they’re terrible.
RACHEL
There’s no way they suck.
Again, Earl appraises Rachel before speaking.
EARL
Well, you can see em for yourself
if you want.EARL (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 44.RACHEL
(knowing that this is a
big deal)
Are you sure?
EARL
Hell yeah! Don’t even worry bout
it. Just don’t be tellin nobody.
RACHEL
Of course I won’t.
Earl stands up, pulling Greg up with him.
EARL
Aight, son. Get on your feet.
GREG
Sounds good.
(beat)
Where are we going?
INT. GREG’S TV ROOM - TWENTY MINUTES LATER 41 41
The three of them are watching a Gaines/Jackson film. EARL is
stony-faced. RACHEL is enjoying it hugely.
GREG looks ill.
EXT. SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF GREG’S HOUSE - AFTERWARD 42 42
RACHEL is about to walk back to her house. GREG is still
despondent.
EARL
We can walk you home -
RACHEL
(indicating Greg, happily)
He needs to recover, and you
probably need to help.
ALT: I think you guys might need
some alone time.
EARL
That’s true.
She hugs Earl, and turns to Greg -
RACHEL
Thanks. GREG
Sure.
She walks away, radiant.Blue (6/3/14) 45.GREG (CONT’D)
Goddammit Earl--
EARL
Son, don’t even start.Blue (6/3/14) 45A.They sit there in silence, Earl serene, Greg fuming. GREG’S
DAD appears behind them and mutely hands each of them a pig’s
foot to eat.
GREG (V.O.)
So we’re pretty far into this
stupid story now, and you’re
probably saying to yourself, “Hey.
I like this girl Rachel, and I’m
gonna be pissed if she dies at the
end.” So I’m just telling you:
Don’t freak out. She survives. When
I said someone dies, I meant
someone else.
So hopefully that reassures you.
Although actually, why would it.
INT. MCCARTHY’S CLASSROOM - A FEW DAYS LATER 43 43
MR. MCCARTHY sips from his thermos.
MR. MCCARTHY
Guys. I’m asking for one fact. This
is probably the easiest thing you
have been asked all day. Anyone. No
one has a fact. Great. I’ll just
call on you at random. Scott.
Scott Mayhew is not psyched about being called on.
Fortunately, he has a focal point for his irritation.
SCOTT MAYHEW
Fact: Greg was telling everyone
that your soup has marijuana in it.
The class now is stunned/giggly.
GREG
I didn’t tell anyone!!
SCOTT MAYHEW
Greg, you are a liar and a coward.
I heard you bellowing about it on
public transit.
MR. MCCARTHY
Greg? Is that factual?
GREG
(defensively)
Look. I’m sorry. But yesterday,
Earl and I got stoned somehow. And
it was after we both ate your soup.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 46.And we didn’t smoke any marijuana,
which I never have done. So, your
soup must have had drugs in it.
Because that was the only thing we
both ate, other than the cookies
that Earl got from Ill Phil... the,
uh, drug dealer... Aha.
EXT. IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL - THAT AFTERNOON 44 44
GREG and EARL are exiting the school together.
GREG
How did you not realize it was the
cookies.
EARL
It was your stupid ass yellin shit
on the bus!
But behind them, the PRINCIPAL, and a SECURITY GUARD burst
through the door, escorting an angry, struggling ILL PHIL off
the premises.
ILL PHIL
Greg! Did you snitch on me?
GREG
What? No, of course not.
SCOTT MAYHEW has positioned himself nearby.
SCOTT MAYHEW
(to Ill Phil)
He did snitch on you. I was there.
GREG
Scott, what the hell.
Scott draws close to Greg. He is a lot taller than Greg.
SCOTT MAYHEW
I heard you ridiculing me in front
of your loathsome harem.
(whispering intensely)
Greg, I trusted you. You betrayed
my trust. You trampled my dignity.
GREG
It was like one time.
SCOTT MAYHEW
You have made a mortal enemy. I
will never stop hounding you.GREG (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 47.ILL PHIL
You got two mortal enemies.
(whispering into Greg’s
other ear)
I stabbed a dude.
GREG
Jesus.
ILL PHIL
(breaking determinedly
into a flow)
Kill you twenty different ways /
Stab you with blades /
Shoot you with death rays /
Abandon you in a maze /
Choke you on mayonnaise /
The security guard drags him away.
Greg and Earl turn to Scott Mayhew.
SCOTT MAYHEW
He, too, will never stop hounding
you.
Scott Mayhew spits on the ground near them and strides away.
EXT./INT. RACHEL’S HOUSE/BEDROOM - AFTER FIRST ROUND OF CHEMO 45 45
- NOVEMBER
GREG is visiting RACHEL, and trying not to freak out about
how bad she looks. She is wearing a fuzzy pink hat. Her eyes
are red-rimmed and her skin is pale.
Super: The part where I hit on a girl who just had chemo
GREG
...so it’s been a month, and they
haven’t really done anything, but
they did say, they’re never gonna
stop hounding me, so, sooner or
later, y’know... gonna get hounded.
RACHEL
(distractedly)
Mmmm.
Greg looks around. All of the horizontal surfaces of her room
are overflowing with flowers and cards.
GREG
Sorry. Next time I’ll bring
flowers.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 48.Although where would I even put
them? The only place left is the
barf bucket.GREG (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 48A.Rachel doesn’t laugh at this.
GREG (CONT’D)
(helpfully)
Ha ha! Flowers, where you barf.
Still nothing.
GREG (CONT’D)
So, nice hat. It’s pretty cute.
She looks at him. Then she erupts, miserably--
RACHEL
Look. I was never very beautiful.
And that was fine, because that’s
not important to me. But I thought
it’d be easier--to look like this,
and it’s just not. Everyone comes
in here and sees me--and they’re so
clearly repulsed--and it’s so much
harder than I thought it would be--
GREG
No. Come on. You look good.
RACHEL
I look ugly... I’m so ugly, Greg.
(gathering herself)
I just feel very naked. I feel like
my body’s on display, like some
terrible exhibit: Girl With Cancer.
(thoughtfully)
It’s your worst nightmare actually,
being exposed like this--
Something shuts her up. She stares at Greg.
He is nervously fondling her boob.
She closes her eyes, and for a moment he thinks it is because
she is enjoying it.
But she is not.
RACHEL (CONT’D)
Greg... no.
GREG
I’m not doing this because it might
be your last chance to be with a
man. I’m doing this because I can’t
control myself.
(beat)
I want to play with those titties.Blue (6/3/14) 49.RACHEL
(now really starting to
break down)
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 49A.Everyone feels like they have to
lie to me--and no one realizes how
insulting that is--everyone thinks
they’re helping--and they’re not--
GREG
Sorry. Okay. It’d just be helpful
to know what you want.
RACHEL
There’s nothing you can give me.
It’s fine. Just go.
They lock eyes. He closes his.
Then he rummages around in his backpack. He comes up with a
DVD, and hands it to her.
GREG
(muttering)
This one is called Mono Rash. It’s
based on Rashomon . By Kurosawa . The
plot is just Earl killing people.
Because he has a rash. From mono.
The STD. It’s really not very good.
(beat)
The fight scene at minute 26 is
probably the best part.
Beat.
RACHEL
You don’t mind someone else
watching your movies?
GREG
Of course I mind! I’d rather be
tortured by North Koreans! But...
you know.
Another beat. Then Rachel smiles.
RACHEL
You want to play with these
titties.
GREG
I do. Both titties. They’re both
equally great.
Her smile broadens--
GREG (CONT’D)
I should go. We’re supposed to work
on our homage to Apocalypse Now.
(beat)RACHEL (CONT'D)
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 50.Ours is called A Box O’ Lips, Wow.
So. That’s even worse than Mono
Rash.GREG (CONT’D)
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 50A.I should just stay and talk you out
of watching this--
RACHEL
No! I’ll be fine. Go make it.
GREG
I mean, we really shouldn’t. It’s a
war movie, where the two main guys
take part in the unspeakable
brutality of war and then find a
box of tulips. Box o’ ‘lips. Yeah.
They find it and are wowed. They
just can’t get over how great these
tulips are. So, “A Box O’ Lips,
Wow.” The worst part is, tulips
might not even be in the budget
anymore -
RACHEL
Please.
GREG
Okay.
He does not move. A beat.
GREG (CONT’D)
Have fun watching this incredibly
terrible movie.
RACHEL
Have fun making the next one.
EXT. EARL’S BACKYARD - AFTERNOON 46 46
GREG and EARL are having a heated production meeting.
Earl is dressed in a makeshift soldier outfit, complete with
gun. Greg has an armful of paratroopers.
DERRICK, seated on the porch with a leashed Doopie, watches
them with disdain.
GREG
...so you’re telling me we have no
tulips AND no explosives.
EARL
Doopie ate em.
DERRICK
Ha HA. DOOP’D.GREG (CONT’D)Blue (6/3/14) 51.GREG
Of course he did. Okay. I’ll get
explosives, you get tulips, meet
you back here in an hour -
EARL
Aw hell no. C’mon, man. I got a
problem set -
GREG
Me too! I’ve got like twenty! I’m
not gonna do any of them. I just...
have them.
Earl ponders their predicament.
EARL
Ima pitch you on something: Do we
need tulips?
GREG
I can’t believe I’m hearing this.
Earl. It’s A Box O’ ‘Lips, Wow. The
box of tulips is the entire point.
(spiralling out)
We’re gonna lose the light, your
brother insists on being in the
shot -
DERRICK
I’m the key grip!
ALT: (Bane voice) When it is done,
and Gotham is ashes, then you have
my permission to die.
GREG
- Dad’s using the good camera, that
dog always freaks me out, this is a
nightmare, why are we doing this.
MADISON
Oh my God! Are you guys making one
of your movies right now?!
What. Where the fuck did MADISON come from. She is leaning
against the chain-link fence, beaming at them.
All three boys stare at her: Greg in horror, Earl in
confusion, Derrick with undisguised appreciation.
MADISON (CONT’D)
Oh my God. I’m on set right now. I
can’t handle it. Action!! Cut!!!Blue (6/3/14) 52.GREG
This isn’t a movie! It’s just a...
(what could this even be?)
I’ve been kidnapped!!
EARL
(ignoring Greg)
Madison what you doin round here?
MADISON
(letting herself into the
backyard)
I was just visiting Rachel, and she
was watching one of your secret
movies, and first of all, I have to
say it is so so sweet of you guys
to let her see them. She wouldn’t
even let me see them! So I know
they’re 100% a huge secret.
GREG
I haven’t actually been kidnapped.
MADISON
I know. This is the biggest secret
ever. Greg, I’m just so touched by
how good of a friend you’re being
to her.
Greg decides that now is the time for excessive modesty.
GREG
I’m not that good of a friend.
MADISON
No, really. Greg. You’re being a
good friend to her.
GREG
No I’m really not.
MADISON
Are you serious right now? Greg.
She told me. That you’ve been a
great friend.
GREG
She was probably lying.
EARL
Greg. Hell’s wrong with you. Accept
a damn compliment.
DERRICK
Ma you want my number one time?Blue (6/3/14) 53.MADISON
No thanks. Anyway, I tracked you
down because I had a huge
brainstorm and I thought - what if
you made a movie for Rachel?
Brief BLACKOUT with the words “NOW YOU ARE DEAD.”
GREG
That’s not a good idea.
MADISON
It’s an amazing idea. It would be
her favorite thing in the entire
world. Please just think about it?
Greg looks at Earl. Earl looks at Greg like, this is your
problem, and you need to deal with it.
GREG
Word.
Earl winces.
MADISON
Did you just say, “Word”?
GREG
Yeah, word, like, I agree.
MADISON
So you agree! To make a movie for
Rachel! AAAHHHHHH
She clutches his arm. MOOSE CHIPMUNK STOMPING.
MADISON (CONT’D)
(leaving)
Oh my God I can’t wait to see it. I
have to run. You guys are the best.
Rolling!! That’s a wrap!! Ha ha!
The boys watch her go.
DERRICK
Titties.
EARL
YUP.
OMITTED 47-51 47-51Blue (6/3/14) 54-56.INT. HOSPITAL, LOUNGE - SECOND ROUND OF TREATMENT - EARLY 52 52
DECEMBER - DAY
GREG, holding the ENORMOUS COLLEGE DIRECTORY under one arm,
finds RACHEL in the hospital’s cheery modern lounge. She is
watching one of his movies on her laptop.
She pauses it as she approaches.
RACHEL
(happily)
“Droogle”?
GREG
Google for droogs. It’s stupid.
Greg is in a foul mood.
RACHEL
(indicating directory)
What’s that?
GREG
Oh, nothing. Just the bane of my
existence. Which my mom is forcing
me to carry around. Until I apply
to some colleges. She says it’s
like a menu for my future. Sure. A
menu that only has food that will
humiliate you for four years. So
it’s kind of a Mexican standoff, in
which I carry this thing around
forever, until my mom has irritated
me to death. Which will happen in,
tops, two days.
Beat.
RACHEL
You have to be less of an idiot
about college. Listen. Even if you
don’t think your classmates will
like you, which is literally an
insane thing to think, you’re way
less exposed to them in college.
High school is 40 hours of class a
week. College is 15-20.
And if you don’t want to live with
other kids, go to school around
here! Go to Pittsburgh State! Live
at home! Don’t get me wrong. I
think living at home would be
unnecessary and stupid. But it’s
better than sitting college out
just because you irrationally hate
yourself.Blue (6/3/14) 57.GREG
(cowed)
Not “irrationally,” though--
RACHEL
Just apply to Pitt State right now.
Apply early.
(she nods at her computer)
Do it right now, in front of me.
Let’s get this out of the way.
GREG
What if I say no?
RACHEL
I’ve got stage four cancer.
(beat)
So that would be pretty dick.
GREG
UGGH FINE.
They sit down. He melodramatically takes her computer and
begins typing:
GREG (CONT’D)
“Why I want to go to college.”
(defiantly, to Rachel)
By Werner Herzog.
Rachel shrugs: bring it on.
GREG (CONT’D)
(Werner Herzog voice)
The highly selective admissions
process of college weeds out the
cruel and the stupid. And so a
college is quite different from the
senseless chaos and sickening
enormity of high school. High
school is the mouth of a great
demon, biting and chewing and
smushing people in the face. It is
simply overwhelming.
(dropping the Herzog
voice)
In seriousness, I am looking
forward to college because I never
fit in in high school. Because of
my weird rodent face -
RACHEL
Nope -Blue (6/3/14) 58-59.GREG
And habit of saying the dumbest
possible shit -
RACHEL
No!
GREG
The sheer pastiness of my
complexion overwhelms all who
behold it with existential nausea -
RACHEL
(overriding him)
“In high school, I never truly got
comfortable in my own skin. In
fact, I’ve always been someone who
doesn’t like himself very much. But
I think that just means I have some
growing up to do. And college is
the place where I’m going to do
it.”
GREG
(deeply uncomfortable)
That’s way too personal.
RACHEL
It’s a personal essay.
Beat.
GREG
Fine. But only because, cancer.
(briskly typing)
And, you have to do this too now.
Okay? Here. Page through this huge
horrible book. It’s yours now. Find
some colleges. Mmmmmmmmmm . It’s
like a menu for your future.
Blue (6/3/14) 58-59A.Done typing, he thrusts the COLLEGE DIRECTORY at her and
pages randomly through it.
Rachel smiles at him.
RACHEL
Can I finish my movie first?
OMITTED 53 53
OMITTED 54 54
EXT. RACHEL’S HOUSE - AFTER THE SECOND ROUND OF CHEMO - A55 A55
EARLY DECEMBER - DAY
GREG sits on the front steps; DENISE’S car pulls up; Greg
goes to help Rachel out of the car.
INT. RACHEL’S BEDROOM - AFTER THE SECOND ROUND OF CHEMO - 55 55
DECEMBER
MONTAGE - The days melt into each other. Fall becomes winter.
Greg and Rachel watch movies together.
Super: Day 24 of Doomed FriendshipBlue (6/3/14) 60.ON THE SCREEN: Earl is Rizzo from Midnight Cowboy, under a
blanket, dead on the bus to Florida; next to him, cowboy-
hatted Greg is extravagantly freaking out.
ON RACHEL’S BED: Greg is holding popcorn; Rachel holds a barf
bucket.
INT. GREG’S HOUSE - AFTER THE SECOND ROUND OF CHEMO - 56 56
DECEMBER - DAY
Greg and Rachel watch movies.
Super: Day 31 of Doomed Friendship
ON THE SCREEN: Earl is Jean-Paul Belmondo in the last scene
of Breathless , running spastically down the street.
IN THE BAY WINDOW: Greg eats popcorn; Rachel, looking a
little better, nibbles some too.
INT. HOSPITAL, RACHEL’S ROOM - THIRD ROUND OF CHEMO - 57 57
JANUARY - DAY
Greg and Rachel watch movies in her hospital room.
Super: Day 45 of Doomed Friendship
ON THE SCREEN: A Gaines/Jackson film ( TBD).
AT THE HOSPITAL: Rachel, looking worse, has fallen asleep.
Greg looks over at her.
He fades the volume to silent, takes the barf bucket out of
her hands, and pulls her blanket over her.
He pulls out his phone and checks his email. He has one from
Pittsburgh State University - Admissions Dept.
It begins, Greg Gaines, We are pleased to...
He is happier than he thought he’d be. But he has no one to
share it with - Rachel is asleep. So he does an awkward
silent fist pump.
“NOW YOU ARE DEAD,” the movie tells him.
He has a sudden worry. Discreetly, he puts his hand over her
mouth, to see if she is dead.
She is not, thank God.
END MONTAGEBlue (6/3/14) 61.INT. SCHENLEY SCHOOL HALLWAY - ONE DAY IN JANUARY 58 58
GREG is walking through a little-used corridor. A RANDOM GIRL
is putting up medieval decorations in the hall.
RANDOM GIRL
Buy tickets for prom! A “Knight” to
“Remember”! Only four months away!!
GREG
(to himself)
Why are there even quotation marks
around “Remember”?--
Greg is AMBUSHED by MADISON -
MADISON
Greg! Rachel said you got into Pitt
State early!
GREG
Oh! Yeah. Clearly they’ll take
anybody -
MADISON
I got in too!! AAAHHHH
She hugs him and dances around--he is overjoyed but also
nervous that he will get a boner--
MOOSE PSYCHOTICALLY JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON CHIPMUNK
MADISON (CONT’D)
So how’s the movie for Rachel
coming?
GREG
(panicking)
Uh... Good. But Pitt State! Can you
believe it? And we got prom! ...In
four months!
MADISON
I know. But I’m the most excited to
see your moVIEEEEE AAAHHHHHH
GREG
(terrified, feigning joy)
AAAAAHHHHHHBlue (6/3/14) 62.EXT./INT. GREG’S KITCHEN - THAT AFTERNOON 59 59
EARL is eating pate. GREG is freaking out.
Super: The part where I try to convince Earl to help me make
The Worst Film Ever Made
GREG
...so if we make this film, people
will be like, oh, Greg and Earl,
they’re those weird filmmakers .
They’re always creepily filming
stuff. They probably sneak up to
your house at night and film you
while you’re asleep.
EARL
(chewing)
This is nasty as hell.
GREG
But people probably already think
that. Because you gave those stupid
films to Rachel. So basically I’ve
become completely conspicuous,
like, all the time. People look at
me, they think, filmmaker. When
they’re not already thinking,
cancer girl’s boyfriend.
EARL
(examining container)
The hell even is this. This taste
like a dog’s funky-ass butthole .
GREG
Furthermore, we agreed to do a
film, that we don’t even have any
idea what it should look like, or
sound like, or be. What the hell
film can we even make?
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 63.What was I thinking?!
EARL
You were thinking, that girl
Madison got big-ass titties. I like
the titties. And now, you got a
problem. You agreed to this shit,
not me.
GREG
Are you not gonna help me make
this?
Earl stares him down while eating another pate-laden cracker.
EARL
The hell we gonna make, son?
GREG
Just something that says, Rachel!
Hey! Keep living your life!
(beat)
It doesn’t suck!
EARL
Just gotta make it look like it
don’t suck.
GREG
That’s the thing.
OMITTED 60 60
OMITTED 61 61
INT. COPACETIC COMICS - DAY A62 A62
GREG’S DAD explains the boys’ mission to a GRIZZLED OLD
EMPLOYEE -
GREG’S DAD
They want fresh inspiration. I must *
tell you, the richest inspiration I *
have ever known was during my *
period of quarantine in the Amazon, *
where I and a half-dozen other *
unfortunates had nothing to watch *
but the bristling, leviathan *
spiders bunched on the rotting, *
flimsy thatch perhaps eight feet *
above our faces. Spiders the size *
of your fist. *GREG (CONT'D)
(MORE)Green (06/20/2014) 64-65.Their fangs glistening with venom *
and their thousandfold black eyes *
shining dully in the gloom. And all *
the night long they would battle *
the wasps. In the darkness you *
would hear a sudden anguished hiss *
as a spider was struck by an adult *
leopard wasp, and in their mortal *
struggle they would plummet onto *
one’s bed, biting and stinging and *
thrashing and - *
- as EARL and GREG split up and peruse the aisles of movies
with terrific intensity.
Greg slows down in a little zone of experimental filmmakers -
EAMES, FISCHINGER , BRAKHAGE , MAYSLESES , WARHOL.
INTERCUT his scrutiny of their DVD cases with SNIPPETS OF THE
ANIMATIONS THEMSELVES, as he replays each in his mind’s eye.
Clutching handfuls of these DVDs, he looks over at Earl. Earl
brandishes some GODZILLA KNOCK-OFFS . Greg shakes his head.
Earl nods, like, yeah, I know, but Godzilla is still the
fucking best.GREG’S DAD (CONT'D)Green (06/20/2014) 64-65A.INT. RACHEL’S LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON 62 62
EARL is working the cameras while GREG, holding a notebook,
is attempting to interview DENISE, who is openly drinking.
(RACHEL is in the hospital for her fourth round of chemo.)
It’s not entirely clear that Denise knows that they’re making
a film, or cares.
GREG
So, Denise, can you tell us a
little about Rachel’s birth?
DENISE
Rachel’s birth. What an ordeal.
(beat)
Greg, listen to me. Listen. I’ve
been a good mother to her. Some
single moms, their kids have to
grow up too fast. But I’ve tried to
protect her from that. I have.
GREG
Uh, right.
DENISE
And now I’m learning, some things,
you can’t protect your kid from. No
matter what you do.
Denise sips from her glass of bourbon, her gunmetal eyes
reflecting some tiny part of the crushing horror of it.
GREG
So did she have a favorite toy?
DENISE
Promise me one thing. You’re gonna
grow up, become an adult. Promise
me you won’t have a baby unless
you’re ready to love that baby’s
mother, your whole life.
GREG
So, no favorite toy.
DENISE
“Toy”? Here’s a toy. Scissors. Bill
left and she rounded up all his
precious old books and cut em right
up. Don’t tell her I told you. I
was like, atta girl. Snip, snip,
snip. HA.
Denise starts pouring drinks for Greg and Earl.Blue (6/3/14) 66.DENISE (CONT’D)
Have a little taste with me. You’re
old enough to have a little taste.
OMITTED 63 63
INT. AUDITORIUM - AFTER SCHOOL 64 64
The room is empty, save for GREG and EARL sitting in chairs
with clipboards and a STUDENT, sitting in a chair, facing a
camera on a tripod.
Greg is trying to mask how depressed and upset this is making
him. Earl physically cannot stop scowling.
GREG
...so just think of it like a get-
well card, except it’s a video. And
start whenever you’re ready.
TESTIMONIAL STUDENT #1
(with glib, smiley
insincerity)
Uh. Hi, Rachel. I guess I don’t
know you that well, but uh... I
believe in you.
(beat)
You can do it!
That is all that this kid has to say.
EARL
(sullenly)
That’s real nice.
POV of camera on tripod:Blue (6/3/14) 67.TESTIMONIAL STUDENT #2
It’s so sweet that your boyfriend
is doing this for you! He must
really love you.
(Greg says something
inaudible offscreen )
Oh.
TESTIMONIAL STUDENT #3
I know you’re Jewish, but I just
want you to know, God has a plan
for you.
TESTIMONIAL STUDENT #4
(can’t stop crying)
TESTIMONIAL STUDENT #5
Greg’s a fag. I guess he’s in love
with you, so that makes him
bisexual or something. I hope they
find a cure for whatever you have.
(to Greg, offscreen )
That’s all I got, fag.
TESTIMONIAL STUDENTS #6, 7, 8 *
(jump cuts) *
I believe in you. *
I believe in you. *
I believe in you. You can do it! *
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - LATER 65 65
GREG and EARL have just finished watching the footage.
EARL
(eventually)
Damn.
INT. RACHEL’S BEDROOM - DIRECTLY AFTER FOURTH ROUND OF 66 66
CHEMO - FEBRUARY - AFTERNOON
RACHEL sits stiffly on the bed. GREG sits next to her with
her barf bucket on his lap.
They’re watching a Gaines/Jackson film, but she’s not
enjoying it as much as she used to. So he’s not enjoying
this, either.Green (06/20/2014) 68.GREG (V.O.)
So again, if this was a touching
romantic story, we’d obviously fall
in love, and she’d say all the wise
beautiful things that can only be
learned in life’s twilight or
whatever, and then she’d die in my
arms. But again: that’s not what
happened. She just got quieter, and
unhappier.Green (06/20/2014) 68A.Greg finally can’t be quiet anymore--
GREG
Hey. How are you feeling, for real.
RACHEL
For real? I’m feeling like you
might have been right.
GREG
Right when?
RACHEL
Back in October. When you thought I
was dying.
GREG
(gutted/trying to recover)
Oh. Well. I regret thinking that.
RACHEL
Don’t regret it.
This is so miserable that Greg actually has to make a joke.
GREG
Urrrnrrnnnngh .
(after no response)
Urrrnnnrnrnnnnnrnggggghggh .
RACHEL
What is that noise.
GREG
Regretful Polar Bear.
Against her will, Rachel snort-laughs a little bit.
GREG (CONT’D)
Polar bears have the purest
expressions of regret in the animal
kingdom. Listen to how haunting and
plaintive they sound. Urrrrnnrnngh .
RACHEL
Don’t make me laugh, though. It
kind of hurts.
GREG
(sadly)
All right.
A long beat.
GREG (CONT’D)
Kind of a monster silence in here.Blue (6/3/14) 69.RACHEL
Yeah. It’s okay to just be silent
for a while.
Greg finds it difficult to be silent. He fidgets and squirms.
He starts making a humming noise.
GREG (V.O.)
Look. I know you’re really bracing
for this sweet girl, that you
probably like a lot, to die.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 69A.Just please bear with me. She
doesn’t. She gets better. I
promise.
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - THE NEXT DAY 67 67
GREG and EARL are creating an ABSTRACT STOP-MOTION ANIMATION.
Earl is creating little CUT-OUTS from FELT OR CONSTRUCTION
PAPER. He is dissatisfied with each one.
Greg is arranging them painstakingly under a camera on a
tripod, consulting the complex sketches he has made to guide
this process.
STOP-MOTION ANIMATION - WEEKS GO BY 68 68
SUPERS over the frames of this animation: Day 86 of Doomed
Friendship, Day 87 of Doomed Friendship, Day 88 of Doomed
Friendship, etc. Each day is about a tenth of a second.
GREG (V.O.)
This is pretty much all I remember
from that winter. Entire months of
my life, where all I remember is
making a shape move around ( ALT
TBD). And yeah, I’m aware of how
cosmically depressing that sounds.GREG (V.O.) (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 70.EXT./INT. RACHEL’S HOUSE/BEDROOM - MULTIPLE DAYS/NIGHTS 69 69
JUMPCUTS of GREG walking to Rachel’s house, entering her
room, leaving her room, leaving her house, waiting on her
doorstep as Denise’s car pulls up (back from the hospital).
GREG (V.O.)
I mean, obviously I remember
visiting Rachel too. What I don’t
remember is doing schoolwork. I’m
not exaggerating when I tell you
that I did literally zero
schoolwork during this time. I
mean, literally zero. That’s
actually sort of hard to do.
INT. RACHEL’S BEDROOM - AFTER 5TH CHEMO ROUND - APRIL - DAY 70 70
RACHEL looks terrible. There’s no way to get around it.
RACHEL
So what’s going on at school.
GREG
The entire school looks like a
castle, because medieval prom is
about to happen. I guess everyone
is trying to figure out how to
twerk, like, medievally.
RACHEL
Are you going?
GREG
Of course not.
RACHEL
You should go.
GREG
No way. Have you seen me in a tux?
It’s like when they make a dog wear
human clothes. It just makes you
sad to look at it. Anyway, I don’t
have anyone to go with.
Greg realizes that he is talking to a girl.
GREG (CONT’D)
(with great effort)
I mean, uh... unless you... wanted
to, uh...
RACHEL
Greg, I’m not going to prom.Blue (6/3/14) 71.GREG
No, you totally could. It could be
this awesome statement, like--
RACHEL
(cutting him off)
Hey. When are you gonna finish your
movie?
GREG
My movie? You know I’m not working
on a movie.
RACHEL
You don’t have to pretend. Earl’s
been telling me about it.
Somehow it hurts a lot, that this surprise has been ruined.
GREG
He... yes, I guess he probably did.
RACHEL
Sorry. I’m just asking because--
GREG
Goddamn Earl. It was supposed to be
a surprise for you. It’s just taken
forever, because we really want to
get it right--
RACHEL
I think I’m probably gonna stop
treatment pretty soon.
It is very quiet in the room for a moment.
GREG
What?
RACHEL
It just isn’t doing me any good.
All it’s doing is making me even
sicker.
GREG
Yeah, but if you stop...
He can’t finish this sentence.
RACHEL
We’ll just see what happens.
GREG
We know what’s gonna happen.Blue (6/3/14) 72.Rachel studies him.
RACHEL
I know who you can take to prom.
GREG
Who?
RACHEL
This sexy pillow here.
GREG
Oh my God. Please don’t make jokes
right now. I can’t deal with that.
RACHEL
Oooh, Greg. This pillow’s name is
Francesca. She’s a filthy Italian
woman.
GREG
STOP IT.
It is the first time he’s ever shouted at her.
RACHEL
Don’t yell at me.
GREG
So you’re just gonna give up.
That’s it. To hell with college. To
hell with the future.
RACHEL
Greg, don’t--
GREG
You’re just gonna give up and die.
What the hell is wrong with you?
It’s your life.
RACHEL
(spurred to anger)
Yes, it is my life. And it’s me
lying in bed all the time, with a
shaved head, and getting weaker and
uglier and more miserable, with no
hope in sight--I’m the one
suffering through this, not you. So
don’t yell at me.
They are trembling with anger at each other.Blue (6/3/14) 73.GREG
I’m sorry. I’m not going to get
comfortable with watching you die.
I’m just not. So don’t ask me to.
RACHEL
If you can’t accept that I’m going
to do what I want to do, with my
life, then you’re a terrible
friend.
GREG
I’m a terrible friend? I’m not
giving up. I’m not ruining my
friend’s life by giving up on the
whole world.
RACHEL
Please. Greg, you should be
overjoyed. Now you can go back to
your life of being invisible and
detached and self-hating.
GREG
Yeah and you can go back to your
life of being dead.
RACHEL
Nice. Really nice.
GREG
This is gonna kill your mom. So
you’ve gotten comfortable with
that? It doesn’t bother you
anymore, thinking about your mom?
RACHEL
Get out of here, Greg. You’ve done
your time. You don’t have to hang
out with the sick girl anymore.
GREG
How can you--how can you even say
that?
RACHEL
Your mom forced you to hang out
with me. Earl forced you to show me
your movies. Madison forced you to
make a movie for me. So yeah. What
part of any of that did you
actually want to do?
Greg opens his mouth--but he has no response to this.Blue (6/3/14) 74.RACHEL (CONT’D)
Do something nice for me for once.
And get out.
EXT. SIDEWALK - DIRECTLY AFTERWARD 71 71
Greg is walking to Earl’s house, through Earl’s dilapidated
neighborhood. He is muttering furiously to himself. All of
his anger and frustration is now channeled at Earl.
Super: The part where I get in my first fight ever
GREG
Earl. EARL. This is it. You’ve gone
too far. You’ve leaked the
unleakable secret. Because you hold
nothing sacred. Because you’re a
dickhead .
A tough-looking kid watches Greg pass.
GREG (CONT’D)
The foundation of any good working
partnership is trust. I can no
longer trust you in any way.
He takes a clumsy tripping step on the broken pavement. He
begins to hyperventilate.
GREG (CONT’D)
You’ll leak anything to anyone.
It’s like working with Julian...
Assange.
Greg does not know how to pronounce “ Assange.” This only
serves to infuriate him further.
GREG (CONT’D)
Ass-andge .
(beat)
Assangggeh .
(beat)
DAMMIT.
EXT. EARL’S HOUSE - LATER A72 A72
GREG thumbs Earl an angry text. EARL’S BROTHER DERRICK
saunters out onto the porch, with DOOPIE on a leash.
DERRICK
Hell you want.
GREG
I’m just waiting for Earl.Blue (6/3/14) 75.Derrick eyes Greg. So does Doopie, growling. Greg’s anger is
now vying with his fear.
It is a relief, but not really, when Earl appears.Blue (6/3/14) 75A.EARL
Sup. You gonna come in?
GREG
No, I’m good.
DERRICK
Oh no.
Uh-oh.
EARL
The hell you want, bro.
GREG
Uh, I was just talking to Rachel,
and she, uh, told me you told her,
uh, about the uh, the film. We were
making. For her.
EARL
Yeah?
GREG
You’re like, uh, Julian Ass-andge .
EARL
The shit is that.
GREG
It’s just, you know, I mean, you
always do this, because you want to
be a better friend than me or
something. So you just tell Rachel
about everything, and it’s like, it
doesn’t even matter what I want.
EARL
You know what? Shut the hell up.
You need to shut the hell up right
about now. I’m tired of this, man.
I’m about to lose my shit with you.
Earl advances down the steps of his porch on an increasingly
trembly, weepy Greg.
GREG
(trying hard not to cry)
I just, I can’t trust you, and I
don’t know if I can work with, with
you again--Blue (6/3/14) 76.EARL
Naw. Shut the hell up. You care so
goddamn much bout what other people
think, gotta go round kissin
errybody’s ass pretendin like you
they friend, well lemme tell you:
nobody give a shit about you.
Nobody... give a shit.
DERRICK
Whoop his ass!
EARL
And now this one girl come along,
the only girl that do give a shit,
and you start whinin and bitchin
cuz I told her about the damn
films. Bitchin and complainin
because somebody cares about your
shit. DAMN.
DERRICK
BUST HIS CANDY ASS.
EARL
Goddamn I’m sick and tired a
watchin you treat this girl like a
burden. She is about to die. You
know that, right? That girl is
about to die. Meanwhile you come to
my house whinin and cryin bout some
irrelevant bullshit . Goddamn I want
to bust your ass. I want... to beat
the hell out of you right now.
GREG
Go for it.
EARL
You want me to?
GREG
I don’t care.
EARL
Bitch, you want me to?
GREG
Yeah, Earl, I want you tOOOONGH
Earl socks Greg in the stomach. Greg immediately keels over.
DERRICK
Yeah! JACK THAT LITTLE DUDE UP.Blue (6/3/14) 77.But Earl does not jack that little dude up. He storms back
inside his house, furious.
Wheezing and choking back sobs, Greg gets to his feet. He
looks at the house. Derrick gazes coolly back at him.
DERRICK (CONT’D)
I’da whooped the hell out of you.
INT. MCCARTHY’S OFFICE - THE NEXT DAY 72 72
GREG is sullenly eating alone. MR. MCCARTHY walks in to
refill his thermos.
MR. MCCARTHY
Beast. Where’s the other beast?
GREG
Earl? I don’t know. He’s not here.
Mr. McCarthy gamely tries again.
MR. MCCARTHY
What’s the status with the twenty-
pager on Nixon?
GREG
I need another extension.
MR. MCCARTHY
It’s the end of the quarter, bud.
GREG
Well, I’ve been busy.
Mr. McCarthy observes Greg.
MR. MCCARTHY
(more quietly)
I heard the latest about Rachel.
(beat)
How are you holding up.
GREG
You know... not great.
MR. MCCARTHY
I was fifteen when my Dad died.
Couple years younger than you.
Greg is startled by this.Blue (6/3/14) 78.MR. MCCARTHY (CONT’D)
You know what I remember about it?
My whole childhood I just thought
of him as this big, quiet, kind of
asshole guy. Didn’t laugh much.
Liked his sons to wear ties.
And then at the wake, all his old
buddies are there telling me about
him, and it’s like they’re talking
about a complete other guy. Like,
he knew every European pop song
from the 70s, from when he was
stationed in Germany. He’d just sit
around memorizing songs to sing at
German girls in bars. His go-to was
this Dutch song called Ding-A-Dong.
That’s a real song. And he sang it
at German girls in bars.
GREG
So what does that mean.
MR. MCCARTHY
It just means that, even if someone
dies, you’re still gonna keep
learning about them. You know?
Their life keeps unfolding to you,
if you keep paying attention to it.
GREG
(sullenly)
What, if you’re like a historian?
Are you seriously trying to make
this into some stupid sappy lesson?
Mr. McCarthy smiles at Greg and gets to his feet.
MR. MCCARTHY
You’re a good kid, Greg.
GREG
I’m not.
MR. MCCARTHY
You’re a good goddamn kid.
GREG
(gathering his stuff)
Look. I’m going home. I’m cutting
school right in front of you. I’m
not a good kid.
Mr. McCarthy says nothing.Blue (6/3/14) 79.GREG (CONT’D)
(leaving)
I’m not.
INT. CITY BUS - A FEW MINUTES LATER A73 A73
GREG is slumped in a seat, staring without seeing out of the
window, as the bus rumbles home.
INT. GREG’S KITCHEN - A HALF-HOUR LATER 73 73
On his way in, GREG passes his DAD, munching sausage.
GREG’S DAD
Earl came by earlier to drop
something off, but he turned down
this superb Andouille rabbit
sausage, which is quite unlike him -
is everything all right?
Greg does not respond.
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM 74 74
GREG finds a DVD on his desk. On it is scrawled, in Sharpie,
“IM OUT.”
He plays the DVD. It’s of EARL, talking to the camera, in
Greg’s room.
EARL
Hi Rachel. We tried a bunch of
different ways of making a film for
you, and all of em turned out
goofy, and irrelevant, and not like
we wanted. So now I’m just gonna
talk to you directly.
(collects himself)
I’ma be honest here. Sometimes
white girls are a particular kind
of stupid. I mean errbody stupid
but you know. White girls think
they smarter than errbody. Self-
centered and pretendin like they
ain’t - well, obviously you ain’t
been like that.
(collects himself again)
It’s just crazy how patient you
been. That’s all I wanted to say.
If it was me at had cancer, I’d be
angry as hell, and... and hurtful,
and just tryna beat errybody’s ass
half the time.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 80.So I’m just amazed at how patient
you been. And you’ve made me feel,
uh, blessed.
(now pissed off; also a
little husky-voiced)
Greg, I ain’t workin on this no
more. Do whatever the hell you
want. I’m out.EARL (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 80A.Earl switches off the camera and the clip ends, leaving Greg
alone in his room.
Greg holds his head in his hands.
Then he flips on the camera. And tries to do a testimonial of
his own.
GREG
Hi Rachel. Uh... Earl’s right. All
the ways we tried to make a film
for you turned out completely
horrible. So, yeah. It got me
thinking about the reason I wanted
to do this film.
He pauses. The fact is, he never wanted to do this film.
GREG (CONT’D)
And that reason is, when you come
right down to it, and just say it,
simply, without screwing around:
He has to say something.
GREG (CONT’D)
Uh... I believe in you.
He is quoting the first video testimonial, from that stupid
kid. He’s not even saying his own meaningless clichéd thing.
It’s something else’s.
He can’t bring himself to look at the camera. He’s looking
down, at his hands.
GREG (CONT’D)
(finally, sadly)
You can do it.
He is silent. Then he shuts off the camera.
INT. MCCARTHY’S OFFICE - THE NEXT DAY 75 75
GREG opens the door to Mr. McCarthy’s office. EARL is in
there, eating one of his all-candy lunches. On a screen
behind him plays MY BEST FIEND, KLAUS KINSKI.
GREG
Oh. Are you eating lunch in here
still?
EARL
Not if you are.Blue (6/3/14) 81.GREG
Well, I’m not eating in here if you
are.
EARL
Well, good. Cuz I like it in here.
GREG
So I guess I’ll just go. Or, you
could go.
EARL
Nope. I like the air-conditioning,
and I like the comfortable chairs.
GREG
Yeah, I like those too.
EARL
Well, that’s your damn problem.
INT. CAFETERIA - SHORTLY AFTERWARDS 76 76
GREG trudges sadly through his personal hell: the cafeteria.
One flying bit of food hits his face, then another.
He finds a place to sit alone. Over his head, a banner reads:
SCHENLEY SENIOR PROM “2013” A “KNIGHT” TO “REMEMBER” !!!
INT. CAFETERIA - DAYS PASS 77 77
He eats alone in the same seat, day after day, forlorn and
withdrawn.
He is checking his email on his phone, despondently -
(we can’t read the body, but it’s from Pittsburgh State
University )
- when someone sits down in front of him.
It is MADISON.
Arm touch/MOOSE SMUSHES CHIPMUNK WITH HOOVES.
MADISON
Greg. I need to talk to you about
the movie.
GREG
It’s not done yet.Blue (6/3/14) 82.MADISON
Greg. You’ve been working on this
movie for like four months.
GREG
Yeah, we tried a bunch of things.
They just aren’t very good.Blue (6/3/14) 82A.MADISON
UGH. Greg. Now is not the time for
your whole, I’m-Greg, I-suck,
nothing-I-do-is-any-good thing. I’m
sure what you have is awesome and
Greg I really think it can make a
difference if you just put it
together and give it to her.
GREG
(bitterly)
Madison, she’s stopped treatment.
She gave up. She quit.
Madison gazes at him. Her eyes glisten.
MADISON
(icily)
So maybe that’s a good reason to
finish the stupid movie. And give
it to her.
(more so)
But you know what? Whatever.
She stalks away.
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - THAT AFTERNOON 78 78
GREG is watching his testimonial to Rachel. He watches
himself mumble, “I believe in you.” Pathetic. He rewinds it
and plays it again. “You can do it.” Excruciating.
His MOM enters the room.
GREG’S MOM
Honey?
GREG
What.
He looks up. His mother looks stricken.
GREG’S MOM
Honey, Rachel’s back in the
hospital.
GREG
Wait--is she starting treatment
again?Blue (6/3/14) 83.GREG’S MOM
It’s not for treatment, honey.
GREG
Oh.
His mom waits for him to say something.
GREG (CONT’D)
Mom, what.
GREG’S MOM
I just thought we could go--
GREG
You just figured this was your last
chance to force me to hang out with
her?
GREG’S MOM
Greg, come on--
GREG
Don’t worry, mom. I’m sure you can
find some other girl with cancer
after Rachel dies. Which, by the
way, she’s decided to do. She’s
decided to die. So maybe I can
decide not to visit her.
GREG’S MOM
I promise you will regret it if you
don’t visit her. You will regret it
for the rest of your life.
GREG
(exploding)
Yeah. That’s probably true. But you
know what? I have a shitload of
things to regret. I regret not
having a date for tomorrow’s stupid
prom. I regret being too weird to
make friends. I definitely regret
making those shitty films with
Earl. And I assume you saw the
email I got today from Pitt State,
when you were going through my
stuff - no? You didn’t? Oh! Have a
look!
He opens an email on his phone and tosses it to his mom.
GREG (CONT’D)
I’m probably gonna regret doing
literally no schoolwork this year!Blue (6/3/14) 84.GREG’S MOM
(in shock)
Oh my God, Greg--
GREG
I know! Admission rescinded! Due to
“significant change in my academic
record”! Oh well! No college! I
guess I’ll just be home next year!
I know, it sucks. It’ll be way
harder for you to go through my
stuff.
His mom, horrified, says nothing.
GREG (CONT’D)
But for right now, do me a favor.
And just leave me alone. I just
want to sit here and regret stuff.
I’m gonna think of everything I’ve
ever done, and everything I haven’t
done, and just regret the living
shit out of it.
EXT./INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - THAT NIGHT 79 79
GREG is watching his animation and his sock puppets and
listening to HIS PARENTS argue through the walls.
GREG’S MOM (O.S.)
(tearfully)
The deadlines have passed, Victor!
What’s he going to do next year? Is
he just going to waste his year?
GREG’S DAD (O.S.)
He is grieving, honey. You have to
let him grieve.
GREG’S MOM (O.S.)
How can you tell me to just do
nothing while he ruins his life?
GREG’S DAD (O.S.)
That’s not what I’m saying.
The conversation continues as Greg watches his video.
SOCK PUPPET RACHEL
I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF CANCER
BECAUSE I DON’T GIVE A SHITBlue (6/3/14) 85.EXT. SCHENLEY/INT. CAFETERIA - THE NEXT DAY 80 80
Once again, GREG is eating alone under the prom banner, which
now has the word “TONIGHT !!!!!” added to it. And maybe even
more gratuitous quotation marks.Blue (6/3/14) 85A.And again, Madison comes to sit with him.
Super: The part where I get in my second fight ever
MADISON
(hesitantly)
Greg? Can I ask you something?
Greg gathers his things and gets up.
GREG
Nope.
MADISON
It’s not what you think--
ALT: It’s not what you think. It’s
about prom--
Madison touches his arm, but he shrugs it off, angrily--
GREG
(interrupting)
Let me ask you something--what is
this? What is up with the arm-
touching?
Greg is backing away from her now. She is following.
GREG (CONT’D)
Are you just being friendly? Or is
it, like, this calculated tactic?
To get me to do whatever you want?
Because you have to understand what
it does, when a beautiful, sexy,
otherwise thoughtful girl touches
the arm of a scrawny pasty guy with
a groundhog face. It’s an act of
cruelty.
MADISON
Are you done?
GREG
Yeah, I’m done with you. And I’m
done with the stupid film.
He backs into ILL PHIL.
ILL PHIL
But you ain’t done with me.
GREG
Oh come on.Blue (6/3/14) 86.ILL PHIL
You’ll never escape me. Nobody rats
me out and lives to tell about it.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 86A.I’m back for my revenge /
Stab you in the dick, pardon my
French /
Shove your body under a bench /
GREG
(frantic)
Are you honestly gonna stab me?
Fine. Go for it. You’re gonna go to
jail for your entire life, but,
it’s probably worth it. Stab away.
Ill Phil is not prepared for this. He was hoping Greg’s
reaction would be more along the lines of running away.
ILL PHIL
You lucky I ain’t got my knives.
Stead you gotta fight me, punk.
GREG
Sure. I’ll fight you. Just no
rapping.
They square up. Onlookers excitedly gather, including a
grimly snickering SCOTT MAYHEW.
Neither Greg nor Phil makes a move for a long time.
They actually have no idea how to fight.
ILL PHIL
(muttering rap)
Break your eyeball with a
fist I got clenched /
Take your teeth out with a
wrench /
Hit you with a stone from
Stonehenge /GREG (CONT'D)
Stop.
Seriously stop.
I can’t do this if you’re
gonna rap the whole time.
Finally Ill Phil swings and Greg grabs his arm. But then Greg
doesn’t know what to do with it.
ILL PHIL (CONT’D)
(thrashing a little)
Leggo my arm.
GREG
Okay. Jesus.
SCOTT MAYHEW
Phil! Remember how he has trampled
our dignity!
More circling. The onlookers are becoming restless. Finally
Greg rushes Ill Phil and grabs him around the waist. Ill Phil
panics and grabs Greg around his waist.ILL PHIL (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 87.They stay like that for a while.
And then, suddenly, EARL flies in and starts whooping ILL
PHIL’S ass.
The CROWD goes berserk.
Almost immediately, the PRINCIPAL separates the fight.
PRINCIPAL
BREAK IT UP.
INT. SCHENLEY HALLWAY 81 81
The PRINCIPAL and a SECURITY GUARD are leading/dragging EARL,
GREG, and ILL PHIL to the nearest school exit.
GREG
(to Earl)
I thought you were eating lunch in
Mr. McCarthy’s office.
EARL
He all sad. Talkin bout German
music or something. I was like,
dude. This is boring as hell.
EXT. FRONT OF SCHOOL 82 82
The PRINCIPAL, SECURITY GUARD, GREG, EARL, and ILL PHIL
emerge from the doors.
PRINCIPAL
(to Greg and Earl)
Two days’ suspension for fighting.
Two days’ suspension for fighting.
(to Ill Phil)
Two days’ suspension for fighting
to be added to your lifetime
suspension for drug dealing. Please
leave school property.
BOYS
Yes sir/ Awright.
As they begin walking away, MADISON approaches them.
MADISON
Greg.
GREG
What.Blue (6/3/14) 88.MADISON
Come to prom with me.
Even Earl does not know what to say here.
MADISON (CONT’D)
Look. You were right. This whole
movie situation has been really
difficult for you, and I feel like
it’s my fault. I want a chance to
make things up to you a little bit.
ILL PHIL
Yo, you can make things up to me.
(beat)
You want my number?
EARL
(to Ill Phil)
Ain’t nobody want your beat-ass
number. You are going to die alone.
GREG
So this is a pity date?
MADISON
It’s not a pity date.
She smiles.
MADISON (CONT’D)
I think we’d have fun.
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - THAT EVENING 83 83
GREG is putting on his tuxedo. He is having some trouble with
the arms.
His MOM is standing by the door.
GREG’S MOM
I told you you would get a date.
GREG
Yup.
GREG’S MOM
So, you’re welcome. For the tuxedo
and everything.
GREG
Thanks Mom.Blue (6/3/14) 89.GREG’S MOM
I am very unhappy about this
college thing. But your father and
I can wait until you’re ready to
talk about it.
GREG
I appreciate that.
GREG’S MOM
Let me help with your corsage.
She does.
Greg examines himself in the mirror.
GREG’S MOM (CONT’D)
My handsome boy, going to prom.
Take lots of pictures, okay?
Greg does not answer. He’s busy looking into the mirror. An
anxious boy in a tuxedo stares back out at him.
EXT. IN FRONT OF GREG’S HOUSE - EVENING 84 84
GREG, holding corsage, walks stiffly into a limousine.
INT. LIMOUSINE 85 85
GREG is alone in the back of a cavernous limousine. He has to
shout to reach his cheerful DRIVER. *
GREG
302 Halket Street.
LIMO DRIVER
You got it, boss . *
They drive.
LIMO DRIVER (CONT’D)
You love this girl?
GREG
Uh. I dunno if I would go that far.
LIMO DRIVER
Are you kids gonna get busy on my *
brand-new Tuscan leather? *
GREG
I think the odds are against that.Green (06/20/2014) 90.LIMO DRIVER
Ha. I’m just playing with you, man. *
I hope you do get some. *
GREG
Thanks. It’s really gonna depend on *
what she wants to do.
LIMO DRIVER
Well. If you really love her, you *
got a shot. Because she’ll know. *
Greg does not respond to this.
LIMO DRIVER (CONT’D)
She is fine, though? *
GREG
I wouldn’t say that.
EXT. SIDEWALK - FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER 86 86
GREG exits the limo, holding his corsage.
He is not in front of Madison’s house. He is front of the
HOSPITAL.
He takes a deep breath.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - MAY - EVENING 87 87
RACHEL is suffering from pneumonia, a complication of end-
stage AML. She is extremely pale and having difficulty
focussing. But she smiles when GREG walks in.
SUPER: Day 209 of Doomed Friendship
DENISE, sitting next to her, smiles with wet eyes, gets up,
and hugs Greg for a very long time. Then she leaves the room.
GREG
Hey.
RACHEL
Hey.
Her voice is weak and whispery.
GREG
I know. I look amazing. Here, let
me put flowers on you.
RACHEL
Thanks.Green (06/20/2014) 91.He puts the corsage on her wrist. It is not romantic. It is
something else.
He extracts his phone and a little projector from his pocket
and starts setting them up -
GREG
Before we watch this, uh... I’m
really sorry it took so long to
make. But the reason for that is,
we couldn’t figure out how to not
get it to suck. And we never did
figure it out. It still sucks, and
it’s not actually what I wanted to
say to you. But let’s just watch it
first. Okay?
She nods.
He turns on the projector. It projects onto the curtain. He
sits next to her, and they watch for a while.
The film does, as advertised, suck.
First, there are the TESTIMONIALS: students sitting in a
classroom, saying clichéd things, or unhelpful things. So
those suck.
DENISE’S INTERVIEW has been jarringly edited so as not to be
depressing, but of course this makes it even more depressing.
It goes without saying that this sucks.
And spliced among all of these sections is a mysterious
ANIMATION that is never explained and never gets enough time
to develop. It’s confusing. How could that not suck?
As they watch, Rachel begins to cough, weakly. Greg ignores
this for a few coughs.
Then he realizes that it isn’t going away.
GREG (CONT’D)
Should I get a nurse?
Rachel, nods, coughing, in pain.
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 88 88
SLIGHTLY SLOWED DOWN, SOUND MUFFLED
GREG emerges from the room. DENISE is asleep in a chair
outside. He jogs her arm. She wakes up, reads his face, and
rushes into the room, stricken.Blue (6/3/14) 92.GREG (V.O.)
That was the last time I saw
Rachel. She went into a coma
shortly after that, and died about
ten hours later.
Greg flags down a passing NURSE and says something to her.
Irritably, she walks into Rachel’s room, shutting the door
behind her.
GREG (V.O.)
Yeah. I know I told you she didn’t
die. But I mean... this is a story
about a girl with cancer.
Greg is left alone in a hospital hallway.
GREG (V.O.)
What did you think was going to
happen?
INT. HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - THE NEXT DAY 89 89
GREG, EARL, and MR. MCCARTHY are sitting all in a row, near
the back. The forceful inner-city PRINCIPAL is speaking.
PRINCIPAL
It is indeed a difficult time...
for the Schenley High School
family. We are mourning... a family
member. But we have an unexpected
and touching opportunity... to turn
our thoughts to her... in a unique
way.
(with God’s own voice)
EARL JACKSON. GREGORY GAINES.
Please come to the stage.
Greg’s heart skips a beat. His eyes widen with terror.
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - FLASHBACK, LAST NIGHT 90 90
From the hall, through the half-open door, DENISE watches the
film projected on Rachel’s curtain.
PRINCIPAL (V.O.)
These boys made a film... that they
delivered to Rachel last night.Blue (6/3/14) 93.INT. HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM 91 91
BACK TO THE PRESENT:
Earl has his head deep in his hands.
INT. TEACHER’S CONFERENCE ROOM - FLASHBACK, EARLIER THAT DAY 92 92
TEACHERS and the PRINCIPAL watch the film on a computer. They
are very moved. They are watching a sock puppet part.
PRINCIPAL (V.O.)
And her mother has given us
permission ... to show you this film
now.
BACK TO THE PRESENT: 93 93
Greg and Earl are up on stage. Cataclysm. It is, literally,
the stuff of nightmares.
PRINCIPAL
Before we show the film... Is there
anything you would like to say...
to the Schenley High School family.
Earl walks to the lectern. The mic is nowhere near his head.
The PRINCIPAL, noting this, removes the microphone and holds
it to Earl’s mouth.
EARL
Naw.
PRINCIPAL
You will let this audacious film
speak for you. Very good. Gregory?
Greg staggers to his feet. He takes the mic. He gazes out at
his classmates.
He has nothing to say to them. But he can’t just say nothing.
Suddenly he begins speaking.
GREG
This film sucks. And after you
watch it, you’re gonna think I’m
this pathetic untalented loser. But
here’s the thing: I don’t care what
you think about me. I’ve spent the
last four years obsessing over how
everyone sees me, and I just
realized, I don’t care anymore.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 94.The only person whose opinion I
care about is dead. So, whatever.
He puts the mic down, then decides to pick it back up.
GREG (CONT’D)
I’ve always wanted never to be
noticed by anyone. But the best way
not to be noticed is to be dead.
And I don’t want to be dead.
He puts the mic back. The principal, frowning, walks over to
reclaim the mic.
Then Greg abruptly grabs it a third time.
GREG (CONT’D)
Wait. Here’s why our film sucks.
It’s not the film we should have
made. Okay? Because I wasn’t even
friends with Rachel before she got
sick. And then she got sick and we
spent all this time together, but
it wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t.
To make the film we should have
made, we should have gotten her to
tell us every single thought she
has ever had. Because it’s all just
lost, now. We should have had a
camera on her, constantly, since
the day she was born. Because her
whole life, now, it’s just lost. We
should have had a camera inside her
head, because all of her specific
thoughts and ideas and hopes and
phobias and all of her impressions
of the whole stupid world, they’re
all about to be lost, and the film
we should have made would keep her
from being lost.
And I know that happens to
everyone. It’ll happen to everyone
in this room. And it’ll happen to
me. But I don’t care. All that I
can think about is that it happened
to her. And it happened last night.
And I can’t deal with it, I’ll
never be able to deal with it, and
this film has nothing to do with
that. Nothing.
(forcing back tears--semi-
incoherent )
It sucks. Nothing sucks more than
this. It sucks.GREG (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 95.He puts down the mic and walks, then runs, offstage and out
of the auditorium. The students are baffled. Some of them are
giggling, but from nervousness.
Earl has his head in his hands.
The lights go down.
OMITTED 94 94
INT. RACHEL’S LIVING ROOM - AFTERWARD 95 95
MOURNERS wander around Denise’s house, sitting shiva.
GREG spots MADISON and SCOTT MAYHEW together holding hands,
talking to DENISE. Surprised and sickened, he avoids them.
He gazes, from afar, at the URN on the mantel that contains
Rachel’s ashes. He cannot stop looking at it. It is absurd to
him, in a way.
Suddenly he has been cornered by an OLD PERSON -
ELDERLY MOURNER
I heard you made a very nice little
movie about Rachel’s life.
GREG
Oh. Uh, yeah.
ELDERLY MOURNER
When will it be in theaters?Blue (6/3/14) 96.Greg does not have the heart to set this doddering old person
straight.
GREG
Soon. Really soon. I’m sure Denise
will let you know. Can you excuse
me for a moment?
Greg sneaks into the kitchen. He looks around for a place
where he can escape all human contact.
He gazes out the window, to the backyard, and sees someone.
EXT. RACHEL’S BACKYARD - A FEW MINUTES LATER 96 96
EARL has spent most of the shiva outside smoking irritably.
GREG approaches him.
EARL
Look who it is.
GREG
Sorry, I haven’t been out of my
room for a few days.
EARL
Yeah. I know. You smell terrible.
GREG
I can’t really smell myself.
EARL
(matter-of-factly)
You smell like a homeless dude. And
I heard even Pitt State ain’t takin
you no more.
GREG
Yeah, well. Whatever.
The backyard door opens. DENISE.
DENISE
Hi boys.
EARL
Mrs. Kushner.GREG
Mrs. Kushner. I mean, Denise.
Denise is holding Greg’s COLLEGE DIRECTORY.Blue (6/3/14) 97.DENISE
Greg, I’m supposed to give this
back to you.
She does. And retreats back to the doorway.
DENISE (CONT’D)
(smiling sadly)
Squeak squeak.
GREG
(agreeing)
Squeak.EARL
(begrudgingly)
Squeak.
Denise enters the house. Greg holds the college directory,
doing nothing.
A couple of envelopes fall out. He opens one.
RACHEL (V.O.)
Dear Greg. I heard what happened
with your classwork , and with Pitt
State. So I wrote them a letter
trying to convince them to let you
back in. There’s a copy in here if
you want to read it. Hopefully it
works, because that would mean I
have powers from beyond the grave.
But you should probably send them
something too.
Goodbye, Greg. You’re a good
friend. Although if you don’t go to
college, you’re also an idiot. But
you already knew that. Love,
Rachel.
At “goodbye,” Greg’s eyes blink and go wet.
He unfolds the second letter--
RACHEL (V.O.)
Dear Pittsburgh State Admissions,
I am writing on behalf of someone
so kind and sweet and giving that
he -Blue (6/3/14) 98.He closes it. He can’t read another word. He closes his eyes.
Earl clears his throat.
EARL
I know it’s a bad time. But I ain’t
doin them films with you no more.
Greg throws up his arms, like, Jesus Christ. Like it’s not
already gut-wrenching enough out here.
EARL (CONT’D)
I ain’t. I can’t. I’m done.
GREG
Why?
EARL
I’ma level with you. I never even
liked makin the damn films. I like
watchin crazy-ass films. But I
hated makin em.
GREG
Earl, you’re the talented one.
You’re the one who’s supposed to do
this with his life.
EARL
Oh hell no. That’s you. That ain’t
me. I ain’t gonna be a broke-ass
artist.
(beat)
Me, I want to end up like your dad.
GREG
(momentarily shocked out
of misery)
What?!
Greg peers through the window at his DAD, who is alone in the
middle of the living room, scratching himself.
EARL
Listen, son. I’m just tellin you.
Your dad’s around. He around all
the damn time. Fact he around too
much. Talkin to the cat, starin
into space. But to hell with it.
That’s gonna be me. Serve my kids
funky-ass food, show em films with
subtitles. Wear random ethnic shit.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 99.And I ain’t getting there by
spendin all my time makin films.
That is not a foundation for a
comfortable life. I need a career.
(not wanting to say this)
I’m goin to Duquesne . Pre-law.
Don’t tell nobody.
GREG
Oh. ...Earl I had no idea th--
EARL
(needing to move on)
Don’t be tellin nobody. Now, you.
You too weird to start a family. So
you can go ahead and do your broke-
ass artist thing. That’s fine. Run
out of money. You can come live in
my garage, with the raccoons.
Me, I’m makin a comfortable life.
No more films. I’m out.
Silence.
Earl notices GREG’S MOM watching them through the window.
She hesitates. But she can’t help herself. She gestures to
“smoking” to Earl, then gestures “death,” then gives him a
look of reproach.
Earl shrugs, baffled.
She sticks her head out of the window -
GREG’S MOM
(whispering)
Earl, it’s a little inappropriate
to be smoking a cigarette outside
of shiva. Of someone who had
cancer.
Oh. Earl philosophically stubs out his cigarette.
EARL
Sorry Mrs. Gaines.
She closes the window -
GREG
I’m out too. I’m not making films
anymore either. I’m retired.
EARL
No, you’re not.EARL (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 100.This next thing is hard to say.
GREG
Earl. If you quit, I have to quit.
Earl looks Greg in the eye.
Greg means it.
EARL
Listen. From now on, I’ma be your
audience. And I’ma watch everything
you make. Even if it’s terrible.
(MORE)Blue (6/3/14) 100A.And it probly will be. You probly
ain’t shit without me. But that’s
what friends do. They gotta watch.
Even when they hate that shit.
Yeah. I called you my friend. I’m
your friend. Deal with it.
Greg is beginning to cry again. Earl eyes him doubtfully.
EARL (CONT’D)
And you quit, I’ma beat the hell
out of you. All right?
GREG
All right.
EARL
I done it before. I’ll do it again.
It’s easy as hell. Because you
don’t know how to fight.
GREG
All right.
EARL
Goddammit stop cryin.
GREG
I’m not c-crying .
EARL
Cryin like a bitch.
Earl, after a resentful pause, puts his arm around Greg. He
pats Greg on the shoulder a few times.
EARL (CONT’D)
(irritably)
Feel like we’re having a goddamn
breakup right now. C’mon. Let’s go
inside.
Earl goes into the house. Greg just watches him quickly
become engulfed by the adults in there.
He looks over at the FIRE ESCAPE leading to Rachel’s bedroom
window.
INT. RACHEL’S BEDROOM 97 97
GREG steps through the window and into Rachel’s room, the
book under his arm, the letters in his hand.
He sits on her bed. Surrounded by pillows.EARL (CONT'D)Blue (6/3/14) 101.He takes another look at the letter to him.
RACHEL
P.S. I’d also like for you to take
some of my pillows. They’ll want a
good home where they’ll be loved.
Greg picks up Francesca.
RACHEL (V.O.)
P.P.S. Not in the way you’re
thinking. That’s disgusting.
He gazes at the walls. Daniel Craig, Hugh Jackman.Blue (6/3/14) 101A.He looks down at his directory. He opens it -
The inside has been CARVED OUT, intricately, into a little
landscape.
He is motionless, gazing at it. It is beautiful and strange.
There are three small figures in it. Somehow we know they are
Rachel, Greg, and Earl. Rachel’s has pink hair.
He runs a finger over the lip of this little fantastical
place that her hands made.
He gazes at her bookshelf. He pulls out a book - no carving
in there - another one - again no carving - another -
This one is carved out too. A different landscape. Two
figures - Rachel (the same color, but her old brown hair) and
one who is probably her mom.
He finds more and more. A world of landscapes. Different
styles, from different times in her life. Sometimes he knows
who the figures are, and sometimes he doesn’t. The figure
that is her is always recognizable.
There is no broad narrative connecting them. They are just
scenes. Not necessarily from her life - perhaps something
tangent to it.
At some point we are no longer seeing the book carvings - we
are just watching his face, as he SEES in a way that he never
has before.
EXT. MURRAY HILL SIDEWALK - AFTERNOON A98 A98
Greg walks home slowly, eyes fixed on something unseeable ,
somehow released, Rachel’s house behind him.
INT. GREG’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 98 98
We’re back to where we started: GREG staring at a computer
monitor, breathing loudly through his nose.Blue (6/3/14) 102.GREG (V.O.)
I know I might seem to you like I
hate myself and everything I do.
But really, I just hate everyone
I’ve ever been. The person I am
right now is okay.
Rachel’s ashes were scattered in a
park behind her house. Apparently
she ran away from home once and
tried to live there.
It was this story her aunt told at
the funeral. She was trying to
become a squirrel. She thought she
could turn into one by just being
in the forest and wanting it really
bad.
I guess maybe that’s what Mr.
McCarthy meant, about someone’s
life continuing to unfold.
It was weird to be learning
something new about Rachel after
she died. But somehow it was
reassuring as well.
The printer has just stopped printing the story we have just
been told. On the back we see the words, “Somehow it was
reassuring as well. FIN.”
He puts it in an envelope addressed to Pittsburgh State
University - Department of Admissions.
And then he puts a DVD in a jewel case. And then he sticks a
Post-It on top of the case, and writes, “ WARNING: THE LAST
PERSON WHO SAW THIS IMMEDIATELY WENT INTO A COMA AND DIED.”
And he puts that in the envelope as well.
He seals the envelope.
He stares directly at us. We look into his eyes.
He crosses them, briefly.
BLACKOUT.
NOW YOU ARE DEADBlue (6/3/14) 103. | screenplays |
Red State Business Owners Applaud Passage of Ballot Initiatives to Raise the Minimum Wage
Erin Musgrave, (530) 864-7014, [email protected]
Bob Keener, (617) 610-6766, [email protected]
Business owners in Missouri and Arkansas celebrate passage of minimum wage ballot initiatives because higher wages will be good for businesses and their state's economy
Nov. 6, 2018 —Business owners in two red states where minimum wage initiatives were on the ballot celebrated passage of the initiatives today because they believe stronger wage floors will be good for businesses and the economy.
In Missouri, more than 700 businesses in the Missouri Business for a Fair Minimum Wage coalition supported Proposition B to gradually raise the minimum wage from $7.85 an hour to $8.60 next year, and then increasing it each year until it reaches $12 an hour in 2023.
In Arkansas, business owners backed Issue 5, which would gradually raise the state's current minimum wage of $8.50 an hour to $9.25 on Jan. 1, 2019, $10 in 2020, and $11 in 2021.
Business owners supporting the initiatives agree that raising the minimum wage will help workers afford the basics, significantly boost consumer spending, lower employee turnover, reduce hiring and training costs, increase productivity, and improve customer satisfaction.
"Business owners in two red states came out strongly in support of raising the minimum wage. That speaks volumes," said Holly Sklar, CEO of Business for a Fair Minimum Wage. "Business owners know the minimum wage has been too low for too long, which erodes consumer buying power. Workers are also customers. When customers have more money to spend, businesses grow and local economies are stronger."
Numerous business owners supportive of raising the minimum wage are available for comment, including:
Maxine Clark, Founder and former chief executive of Build-A-Bear Workshop, in St. Louis, said: "As the founder and former chief executive of a business that has grown into a major national and global company, I know that happy employees make happy customers. Unfortunately, too many Missourians are earning too little – from the cashiers at the grocery store to the classroom aides helping educate our children to the people who care for our aging parents. Raising the minimum wage will demonstrate to working people that we value their work and it will help businesses succeed."
Bob Goodrich, President of Goodrich Quality Theaters including Capital 8 in Jefferson City and Forum 8 in Columbia, MO, said, "We couldn't have built our business without great employees. Missourians can't make ends meet on the current minimum wage. Raising the minimum will be good for business and the economy."
Howard Hanna, Owner of The Rieger in Kansas City, MO, said, "The minimum wage just hasn't kept up with the cost of living, and paying higher wages has real bottom-line benefits. I've seen lower turnover and less kitchen waste, which saves us money, and better customer service that helps turn guests into regulars. Raising the minimum wage will raise everyone up and give the economy the jolt we need."
Joe Edwards, Owner of Blueberry Hill restaurant and music club, the Moonrise Hotel, the Pageant and Delmar Hall concert nightclubs, Peacock Diner, Flamingo Bowl, and Pin-Up Bowl in St. Louis, MO, said, "Paying fair wages is one of the smartest business moves I've ever made. We don't have nearly the employee turnover of others in the restaurant and service industry. That translates to better customer service and saves us time and money in recruiting and training costs. Raising the purchasing power of low-wage workers by raising the minimum wage will spur a virtuous economic cycle that leads to local business growth."
Capi Peck, Owner of Trio's Restaurant in Little Rock, AR said, "I've seen firsthand how paying fair wages is good for business. It's why I support raising Arkansas' minimum wage. Our low turnover is invaluable from a bottom line and customer service perspective. Increasing the minimum wage will give needed raises to workers who will then have more to spend as customers."
Meg Sebastian, CEO of Sebastian Tech Solutions in Jonesboro, AR, said, "As one of the few defense contractors here in Jonesboro, my goal is to bring jobs here by building a defense and technology sector in Jonesboro. If we want Arkansas to have more STEM jobs and encourage companies to invest and reinvest in our state for the long term, we need to have a strong, productive workforce – and raising the minimum wage is a key building block."
Aaron "Blake" Ralston, Owner of Ralston Agency with offices in Little Rock and Fort Smith, said, "Raising the minimum wage is important insurance for businesses as well as workers. It will enable many more workers to make ends meet and it will boost the consumer spending that businesses depend on to survive and grow."
Missouri and Arkansas business owners who supported raising the minimum wage are available for comment.
To schedule an interview, contact Erin Musgrave at [email protected] or (530) 864-7014 or Bob Keener at [email protected] or (617) 610-6766.
Business for a Fair Minimum Wage is a national network of business owners and executives and business organizations that believe a fair minimum wage makes good business sense.
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Reddit Red State Business Owners Applaud Passage of Ballot Initiatives to Raise the Minimum Wage! | slim_pajama |
the rotational evolution of m dwarf ( dm ) stars can be inferred from observations of open clusters at different ages @xcite . in young ( @xmath3myr )
open clusters , dm stars still present high rotation rates , which suggests that angular momentum losses at the early main - sequence phase are negligible for them @xcite . however , as the cluster ages ( @xmath4myr ) , the number of rapidly rotating dm stars decreases , implying that there should exist a mechanism of angular momentum removal that acts on time - scales of a few hundred million years @xcite . for solar - like main sequence stars ,
the magnetised stellar wind is believed to spin down the star by carrying away stellar angular momentum .
it has been observationally established that the angular velocity rate @xmath5 for solar - like stars varies as a function of age @xmath6 as @xmath7 @xcite .
however , it seems that the empirical @xcite s law is not valid for low - mass stars , suggesting that a solar - type wind ( i.e. , with low velocities and mass - loss rates ) can not reproduce the rotational evolution of fully - convective stars .
the existence of hot coronae , rapid rotation , and high levels of magnetic activity in dm stars suggests the presence of winds with an enhanced mass loss as compared to the solar wind .
however , the low - density , optically thin winds of these stars prevents the observation of traditional mass - loss signatures , such as p cygni profiles .
the still unobserved high mass - loss rates from dm stars could be able to disperse debris discs , explaining why discs around dm stars older than @xmath8 myr are scarcely found @xcite .
estimates of mass - loss rates from dm stars vary considerably .
it has been suggested that the coronal winds of dm stars , despite of being very tenuous , possess mass - loss rates ( @xmath9 ) that can considerably exceed the solar value ( @xmath10 ) by factors of @xmath11 to @xmath12 , although @xcite claim an upper limit of @xmath13 for proxima centauri ( dm5.5e ) , @xmath14 times below the value of the solar wind mass - loss rate . in this work ,
we investigate the coronal wind of a specific fully - convective dm star , v374 peg , for which observed surface magnetic maps have been acquired @xcite . for this
, we use three - dimensional ( 3d ) magnetohydrodynamics ( mhd ) simulations based on our previous models developed for solar - like stars @xcite and weak - lined t tauri stars @xcite . for the first time , an observationally derived surface magnetic field map is implemented in mhd models of stellar winds for a low - mass star .
v374 peg is a suitable case for modelling as a first step , because its surface magnetic distribution is close to potential , which implies that the adopted boundary conditions match the observed map closely .
we self - consistently take into consideration the interaction of the outflowing wind with the magnetic field and vice - versa .
hence , from the interplay between magnetic forces and wind forces , we are able to determine the configuration of the magnetic field and the structure of its coronal wind . more details of this work can be found in @xcite .
v374 peg has mass @xmath15 , radius @xmath16 and is rotating with negligible differential rotation ( i.e. , as a solid body ) with a period of rotation @xmath17 d @xcite .
we consider that its axis of rotation lies in the @xmath18-direction . to perform the simulations
, we use the 3d mhd numerical code bats - r - us developed at university of michigan @xcite , which solves the ideal mhd equations .
the simulations are initialised with a 1d hydrodynamical wind for a fully ionised plasma of hydrogen .
immersed in this wind we consider a magnetic field anchored on the stellar surface that has a geometry derived from extrapolations from observed surface magnetic maps using the potential - field source surface ( pfss ) method ( figure [ fig.ic]a ) . the mhd solution is evolved in time from the initial magnetic field configuration to a fully self - consistent solution ( figure [ fig.ic]b )
we do not adopt fixed topologies for either the magnetic field or for the wind , as both the wind and magnetic field lines are allowed to interact with each other . in the pfss model , the stellar wind plasma
is not included directly , but its effects on the magnetic field ( and vice - versa ) are incorporated through the inclusion of the source surface .
such a surface , for instance , alters the number of open magnetic field lines , through where a stellar wind could escape .
the source surface ( grey sphere in figure [ fig.ic]a ) is chosen to lie at @xmath19 , where beyond that , the magnetic field is considered to be purely radial .
pfss methods are usually criticised because their basic assumptions ( the magnetic field is a potential field and the source surface is spherical ) may not always be met .
however , the advantage of the pfss method over the mhd models relies on its simplicity : it is simpler to implement and requires much less computer resources than mhd models . in our model
, we use the magnetic field configuration derived by the pfss method as initial condition and boundary condition at the surface of the star .
we note that the surface of the star that occupies co - latitudes @xmath20 is never in view as the star rotates and so the magnetic field there can not be reconstructed reliably .
our simulations require a set of input parameters for the wind .
unfortunately , some of them are poorly constrained by observations . for v374 peg ,
the magnetic field is the better - constrained parameter .
we have , therefore , implemented in our previous models @xcite surface magnetic maps derived by data acquired in 2005 aug @xcite .
these observations show that v374 peg hosts an intense , mainly axi - symmetrical dipolar magnetic field , with maximum intensity of about @xmath21 g , i.e. , @xmath22 orders of magnitude larger than the sun .
the wind temperature and density are less constrained for v374 peg .
we , therefore , adopt values representative of dm stars .
dm stars are believed to host coronae with a high - temperature plasma @xmath23 k in conjunction with a low - temperature one @xmath24
@xmath25 k @xcite . in our models
, we adopt a temperature at the base of the coronal wind of @xmath26 k or @xmath27 k. these coronal temperatures are about the same order of magnitude as the solar coronal temperatures of @xmath28k .
coronal densities inferred from x - ray observations of dm stars suggest densities ranging from @xmath29 @xmath30 to @xmath31 @xmath30 .
therefore , we adopt , at the base of the coronal wind , densities in the range @xmath29
@xmath32 @xmath30 .
compared to the solar coronal density of about @xmath33 @xmath30 , coronal densities inferred for dm stars are about @xmath24
@xmath34 orders of magnitude larger than for the solar corona .
the density , along with the magnetic field , are key parameters in defining the magnetic field configuration of the stellar wind and its velocity profile @xcite .
together , they define the plasma-@xmath35 , defined by the ratio of thermal to magnetic energy densities .
therefore , at the base of the coronal wind of v374 peg , @xmath36 where the index `` 0 '' means the variable is evaluated at the base of the coronal wind , @xmath37 @xmath38 and @xmath39 k ) . for @xmath40 and @xmath41 , @xmath42 is about @xmath14 orders of magnitude smaller than for the solar wind @xcite .
this implies that the winds of dm stars are highly magnetised and , therefore , are expected to differ from solar - type winds .
table [ table ] presents the parameters adopted for the set of simulations we performed .
ccccccc & @xmath43 & @xmath44 & @xmath42 & @xmath9 & @xmath45 & @xmath46 + & [ @xmath30 ] & [ mk ] & & [ @xmath48 m@xmath49 & [ @xmath50 erg s@xmath51 & [ myr ] + 1map & @xmath29 & @xmath24 & @xmath52 & @xmath53 & @xmath54 & @xmath55 + 2map & @xmath56 & @xmath24 & @xmath57 & @xmath58 & @xmath59 & @xmath60 + 3map & @xmath32 & @xmath24 & @xmath61 & @xmath62 & @xmath63 & @xmath64 + 4map & @xmath56 & @xmath11 & @xmath65 & @xmath66 & @xmath67 & @xmath68 + we were able to find a mhd solution for the wind for all the simulations we ran , showing that it is possible to develop coronal wind models with a realistic distribution of magnetic field .
in general , mhd wind models are studied under the assumption of simplistic magnetic field configurations , especially when in pursuit of an analytical solution .
therefore , the study of a magnetised coronal wind where an observed magnetic field distribution is considered has long been awaited .
our work also sheds some light on the yet unobserved winds from dm stars . by comparing cases
where only the base coronal density @xmath43 was varied , we found that the poloidal velocity of the wind scales approximately as @xmath69 this qualitatively agrees with previous results @xcite , where it was found that an increase in the density leads to winds with lower velocities .
simulations presented here are in a very low-@xmath35 regime , where magnetic effects completely override thermal and kinematic effects of the wind .
therefore , eq . ( [ eq.windlaw ] ) should be treated with caution , as under different @xmath35 regimes ( for example , when it approaches @xmath70 ) , it becomes invalid .
figure [ fig.windvel]a presents the scaled wind velocity profile @xmath71 for cases 1map , 2map , and 3map , @xmath72 where @xmath73 @xmath30 ) .
we note that the wind terminal velocity is @xmath74
@xmath75 n_{12}^{-1/2}~{\rm km~s}^{-1}$ ] , where the range of velocities refers to different wind latitudes ( low - wind velocity near the equator , high - wind velocity around the poles ) .
because the magnetic field in the lower hemisphere of the star is not reliably reconstructed ( co - latitudes @xmath20 of the surface of the star are not observed ) , a high - velocity wind develops there .
although this feature is local and does not affect the remaining parts of the grid other than radially away from the stellar surface , it is an artifact of our method and should not be taken into consideration ( e.g. , see the accumulation of magnetic field lines near the low - hemisphere of the star in figures [ fig.windvel]a and [ fig.windvel]b ) .
equation ( [ eq.windlaw ] ) also implies that the mass - loss rate of the wind ( @xmath76 ) should scale as @xmath77 which means that , despite the fact that the wind velocity of case 3map is @xmath11 times smaller than case 1map [ eq .
( [ eq.windlaw ] ) ] , its mass - loss rate is one order of magnitude larger than for case 1map [ eq .
( [ eq.windmassloss ] ) ] .
this has implications on the efficiency of angular momentum loss , as will be shown later .
the mass - loss rates for cases 1map , 2map , and 3map are @xmath78 . figure [ fig.windvel]b shows the scaled poloidal velocity profile @xmath71 for case 4map .
this case considers a different temperature at the base of the corona ( @xmath27 k as opposed to @xmath79 k ) , and , because of that , has a larger @xmath42 ( table [ table ] ) . for this case
, we did not find an analytical expression relating velocity and temperature .
the alfvn surface location and configuration of magnetic field lines are similar to the other dipolar cases , but the scaled wind velocity @xmath71 is smaller than the previous cases : @xmath80
@xmath81 n_{12}^{-1/2}~{\rm km~s}^{-1}$ ]
. the lower velocity observed in case 4map happens because of its higher @xmath42 .
the mass - loss rate for case 4map is @xmath82 .
overall , our solutions differ considerably from the solar wind solution , where a low - velocity wind ( terminal velocities of @xmath83 @xmath84 km s@xmath85 ) with low mass - loss rate ( @xmath10 ) is found .
we note that , based on more simplistic wind models , such as @xcite , in the fast magnetic rotator limit , wind terminal velocities of @xmath86 are expected for a wind mass - loss rate of about @xmath87 .
observations of the rotation evolution of dm stars in open clusters at different ages provide a way to constrain the time - scale @xmath46 for the angular - momentum loss .
it has been suggested that @xmath88 myr or , mostly likely @xmath89
@xmath84 myr , @xcite for dm stars .
angular momentum of the star is carried away by the stellar wind . because in our simulations there is no axi - symmetry , the torque @xmath90 on the star has @xmath91 , @xmath92 and @xmath18 components . here , we are interested only on the @xmath18-component , as it is the only one responsible for the rotational braking ( because the angular velocity of the star points in the @xmath18-direction ) .
the @xmath18-component of the angular momentum carried by the wind is @xcite @xmath93_z + \int_{s_a } \left ( p + \frac{b^2}{8\pi } \right ) ( { \bf r } \times { \bf \hat{n}})_z { \rm d}s_a \nonumber \\ & + & \int_{s_a } \left [ { \bf r } \times ( \alpha{\bf \hat{z } } \times { \bf r})\right]_z \rho { \bf v } \cdot { \bf \hat{n } } { \rm d } { s_a } , \end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath94 is the velocity vector in the frame rotating with angular velocity @xmath95 , @xmath96 is the unit vector that points in the @xmath18-direction , @xmath97 is the alfvn surface that delimits the volume @xmath98 , and @xmath99 is the normal unit vector to the alfvn surface . the first term on the right of eq .
( [ eq.jdot ] ) does not contribute to the @xmath18-component torque and is therefore null .
the second term disappears in the case of a spherical alfvn surface , but it is non - null in the cases where a surface magnetic map is considered and it becomes relatively more important for the cases with larger adopted @xmath42 .
the third term is the dominant term in our simulations .
we can estimate the time - scale for rotational braking as @xmath100 , where @xmath101 is the angular momentum of the star . if we assume a spherical star with a uniform density , then @xmath102 and the time - scale is @xmath103 where @xmath104 is the rotational period of the star .
for v374 peg , this results in @xmath105 because @xmath45 depends on the mass flux crossing a given surface , i.e. , on the mass - loss rate of the wind @xmath9 , from eq .
( [ eq.windmassloss ] ) , we have a rough scaling relation between @xmath45 and @xmath9 for cases 1map , 2map , and 3map @xmath106 which implies in a time - scale [ eq .
( [ eq.tau ] ) ] for rotational braking that scales as @xmath107 for cases 1map , 2map , and 3map , @xmath108 myr , well below the estimated solar spin - down time @xmath109 gyr @xcite .
table [ table ] presents the mass and angular momentum loss rates , and the time - scale for rotational braking calculated for all simulations , where we verify the approximate scaling given by eqs .
( [ eq.windmassloss ] ) , ( [ windangloss ] ) , and ( [ eq.windtimescale ] ) . comparing to the observationally derived rotational braking time - scales of a couple of hundreds of myr for dm stars is open clusters @xcite , we tend to rule out cases with larger coronal base densities ( i.e. , @xmath110 ) . according to this comparison ,
the most plausible wind density is the one used for models 1map .
such a density is also able to reproduce typical emission measures of dm stars ( @xmath111 ) and comparatively ( with the remaining cases ) smaller mass - loss rates and higher wind velocities .
ultimately , when the star ages , the stellar rotation brakes , reducing the stellar surface magnetic field intensity , and therefore the wind velocity . with the inclusion of an observed distribution of surface magnetic field ,
we head towards a more realistic modelling of magnetised coronal winds .
never the less , our model presents limitations , such as the neglect of a detailed energy balance .
instead , we consider a polytropic relation between pressure and density parametrised through @xmath112 in the derivation of the energy equation of the wind .
once the magnetic field distribution is set , the thermal pressure adjusts itself in order to provide a distribution of heating / cooling that is able to support the mhd solution obtained @xcite .
if the wind of v374 peg is able to cool down , e.g. , by radiative cooling not considered in our models , the terminal velocities of the wind could be considerably smaller .
depending on where in the wind energy deposition ( or removal ) occurs , the wind velocity may change , without affecting the mass - loss rates .
for instance , if a substantial cooling occurs above the alfvn surface , the velocity profile of the wind from that point outwards will be affected . as the information of what is happening above the alfvn point can not be transmitted to the sub - alfvnic region , the wind density and velocity profiles in the proximity of the star will not be changed , and consequently neither the stellar mass - loss / angular momentum - loss rates . ,
a. , davidson , v. a. , hebb , l. , skinner , g. , anderson , d. r. , christian , d. j. , clarkson , w. i. , enoch , b. , irwin , j. , joshi , y. , haswell , c. a. , hellier , c. , horne , k. d. , kane , s. r. , lister , t. a. , maxted , p. f. l. , norton , a. j. , parley , n. , pollacco , d. , ryans , r. , scholz , a. , skillen , i. , smalley , b. , street , r. a. , west , r. g. , wilson , d. m. , & wheatley , p. j. 2009 , , 400 , 451 | arxiv |
gastrointestinal stromal tumors ( gists ) are the most common mesenchymal neoplasms of the gastrointestinal tract .
the stomach is the most frequent site of gists ( 60% ) followed by small bowel ( 35% ) and colon - rectum ( < 5% ) .
the site of gist , the mitotic index , and the dimension define the risk of recurrence ( high , intermediate , low , or very low ) .
gists usually metastasize to the peritoneum and liver , whereas lymph nodes , lung , or bone are seldom involved .
molecular analysis can show a mutation in the kit gene ( 8095% ) , in the platelet - derived growth factor alpha ( pdgfr- ) gene ( 57% ) or no mutations ( wild type , 1015% ) .
the activation of these tyrosine kinase receptors by signal transduction pathways promotes the cellular cycle activation , cell proliferation , and apoptosis inhibition .
mutation of exon 11 is the most frequent mutation of the kit gene ; other possible mutations are in exon 9 , exon 13 , and , seldom , in exon 17 .
mutation of pdgfr can involve exon 12 , exon 14 or , in the majority of cases , exon 18 .
surgical resection is the treatment of choice for localized gist , whereas medical treatment with the selective tyrosine kinase inhibitors ( imatinib , sunitinib ) are used in patients with localized unresectable or metastatic gist .
imatinib is the standard first - line therapy for localized unresectable , recurrent or metastatic gist , and also for the adjuvant treatment for patients with intermediate or high risk of recurrence after surgical resection [ 2 , 3 , 4 ] .
sunitinib is approved as second - line therapy when gist does not respond to imatinib or if there is intolerance to imatinib .
imatinib has demonstrated better tumor response and progression - free survival ( pfs ) in exon 11 kit mutation compared with sunitinib having demonstrated longer pfs and clinical benefit in patients with exon 9 kit mutation and in wild - type genotype .
sunitinib is a multitargeted receptor tyrosine kinase inhibitor as kit , pdgfr , pdgfr , different vascular endothelial growth factor receptors ( vegfr-1,vegfr-2 , vegfr-3 ) , fms - like tyrosine kinase-3 receptor ( flt3 ) , and the receptor encoded by the ret protoncogene ( ret ) .
imatinib and sunitinib bind kit and pdgfr in different ways so it is possible to obtain tumor response with sunitinib in patients with imatinib - resistant gist .
sunitinib is an oral drug , metabolized mainly by the cytochrome p450 ( cyp 450 ) ; fecal excretion is approximately 64% ; renal elimination is approximately 14% . efficacy and tolerability of sunitinib in gist is demonstrated in phase 1 - 2 - 3 clinical trials and also in an expanded - access study .
initially , the standard dose was 50 mg / day for four weeks followed by two weeks without treatment ; alternatively , the dose of 37.5 mg / day continuously without a scheduled off - treatment period has the same efficacy and retains the cytostatic effect .
more common adverse events are fatigue , gastrointestinal symptoms ( diarrhea , nausea , vomiting ) , hematologic toxicities ( anemia , neutropenia , thrombocytopenia ) , hypertension , skin disorders ( yellow skin , hand - foot syndrome ) , and stomatitis . occasionally , hypothyroidism can develop and , seldom , hemorrhage of the neoplastic mass . in patients with many adverse events ,
it is possible to administer a dose reduction ( sunitinib 25 mg / day ) .
there are also described in the literature some case reports of development of hypertension , proteinuria , and kidney dysfunction during treatment with sunitinib [ 8 , 9 , 10 ] .
we describe here the case of nephrotic syndrome in a patient with advanced gist under treatment with sunitinib .
a 52-year - old man was admitted for ileal resection of a mass discovered in february 2002 .
the tumor size was 6.5 cm , the mitotic index was 4/50 high power fields and the immunohistochemical analysis revealed the tumor was positive for cd117 , and negative for cd34 and s100 .
the tumor presented kit exon 9 mutation ( c.1504_1509dup ( p.ala502_tyr503dup ) ) . at baseline ,
the patient had a serum creatinine of 0.9 mg / dl ( egfr 92.0 ml / min/1.73 m ) .
urinalyses were normal and weight was 60.0 kg . in the same period , the patient had taken antihypertensive therapy with ramipril and hydrochlorothiazide .
follow - up was negative until 2004 when an abdominal echography demonstrated multiple hepatic and omental lesions compatible with metastases .
imatinib 400 mg / day was started and in august 2005 , the dose was increased at 800 mg / day for progressive disease . in october 2005 ,
some months later a ct scan showed new peritoneal lesions and the dose of imatinib was increased .
the patient came to our attention and was enrolled in a second - line protocol with sunitinib 37.5 mg / day in october 2006 .
a new surgery was conducted with wedge resection of a segment of liver , and excision of nodules in peritoneum and in colon .
sunitinib 37.5 mg / day was also given and , after two years , a ct scan showed a peritoneal lesion .
the patient was then enrolled in a third - line protocol with nilotinib 800 mg / day , but , due to intolerance , treatment was stopped in march 2010 .
the patient underwent another surgery with the resection of the two macroscopic peritoneal lesions of gist , but a postoperative ct scan detected another omental metastasis .
the patient was continued on sunitinib ; however , tolerance started to decline ( hand - foot syndrome ( grade 34 hand - foot syndrome ) , uncontrolled hypertension ) . in february 2011
, the patient was referred to the department of nephrology for the appearance of edema , increase of the serum creatinine up to 1.5 mg / dl ( egfr 45.0 ml / min/1.73 m ) , weight gain ( weight was 67.5 kg ) , nephrotic syndrome with proteinuria of 12 g/24 h , dyslipidemia , and hypoalbuminemia .
blood pressure was 170/100 mm hg even though he had taken multiple antihypertensive therapies ( carvedilol , amlodipine , doxazosin , ramipril , irbesartan , and loop diuretics ) .
seric immunofixation was positive with detection of monoclonal igg ; bence jones protein research was negative .
urinalysis showed microhematuria and proteinuria > 400 mg / dl , with 24-hour protein excretion of 12.0 g / day ( glomerular nonselective proteinuria ) .
a kidney biopsy showed an immunocomplex glomerulonephritis characterized by nodular lesions ; in particular , on light microscopy , there was a thickening of the capillary wall and the presence of some deposits ( fig .
1a ) ; on immunofluorescence , there were large granular deposits of immunoglobulins and complement ( fig .
oral steroids ( prednisone 25 mg / day and subsequent decrease ) , diuretics , and angiotensin receptor blockers ( arbs ) were started . in the following months , the serum creatinine increased up to 2.22.4 mg / dl ( egfr 27.5 ml / min/1.73 m ) , blood pressure control continued to be poor , and
there was a persistence of edema and nephrotic syndrome with proteinuria of 8 g / day . with the hypothesis that the nephrotic syndrome was induced by sunitinib , this therapy was temporarily discontinued and oral steroid therapy was progressively reduced .
we observed a subsequent reduction of proteinuria ( 4 g / day ) , regression of skin lesions , improvement in blood pressure control , and weight decrease ( weight was 60.5 kg ) . in november 2011
, radiological progression of peritoneal metastasis was found and sunitinib was restarted at the minimum dose ( 25 mg / day ) . in september 2012
, for progressive disease , we decided to change the treatment in favor of sorafenib ( an off - label indication ) .
the clinical condition of the patient is good ; there is no edema or hand - foot syndrome , blood pressure is controlled by furosemide and amlodipine , serum creatinine is 2.3 mg / day and proteinuria in urine sample is 600 mg / dl .
in the last ten years , the introduction of selective tyrosine kinase inhibitors ( imatinib , sunitinib ) has modified the natural history of gist .
sunitinib is a multitargeted tyrosine kinase inhibitor approved as second line in patients with imatinib resistance or intolerance .
the kidney damage is likely associated with vegfr inhibition of sunitinib ; in fact , cases of renal damage during anti - vegf therapy ( such as bevacizumab ) have been described in the literature [ 11 , 12 , 13 ] .
proteinuria generally is the first manifestation of renal damage and often there is also hypertension .
recently the first case reported with gist treated with sunitinib and sorafenib who developed nephritic syndrome was published .
the discontinuation of anti - vegf agent reduces proteinuria , probably because the renal damage is partially reversible [ 11 , 12 ] .
first of all , it is well known that anti - vegf therapy is not selective
. therefore its action is on the tumor cells but also on the sane cells of the body that have vegf receptors .
vegf receptors are expressed in every tissue , in particular on the vessels and on the glomerulus , playing an important role in the structure of fenestrated endothelial cells where it contributes to the permeability .
secondly , bevacizumab reduces or causes the suppression of nephrin , a protein with an important role in the construction of the glomerular diaphragm .
thirdly , there is also an alteration of normal interaction between podocytes and endothelial cells that cause an injury like pre - eclapsia .
furthermore , biopsy has often showed glomerular thrombotic microangiopathy ( tma ) , but there is no direct correlation between quantitation of proteinuria and severity of histology renal lesion .
hypertension is a clinical sign secondary to renal toxicity of bevacizumab , as a consequence of the nitric oxide reduction anti - vegf mediated , with the subsequent vasoconstriction and increase of blood pressure [ 11 , 12 ] .
therefore , the initial treatment of patients with proteinuria and hypertension caused by anti - vegf therapy is angiotensin converting enzyme ( ace ) inhibitors or angiotensin-2 receptor antagonist ( ara ) .
the patient can also have other factors that promote renal damage such as renal cell carcinoma , poor renal reserve , primary hypertension , or diabetic nephropathy .
in our patient 's case , sunitinib was administrated for about 56 months overall and for 25 months continuously .
so , the duration of treatment with sunitinib was much longer than the duration in the clinical trial .
it is probable that the side effects occurring in our patient may be justified by the long period of the drug administration .
early discontinuation of the medical treatment can limit the damage and often these side effects are completely or partially reversible [ 8 , 9 ] .
however , since the antitumor activity of this tyrosine kinase inhibitor is cytostatic and not cytotoxic , the discontinuation of treatment is not recommended .
in fact , it has been demonstrated that in the metastatic setting the discontinuation of imatinib led to a progression of disease .
moreover , the cytostatic effect of sunitinib in gist was described using the functional imaging with fdg pet . in particular
, it has been demonstrated that using an intermittent administration , there was an early reduction of standardized uptake value ( suv ) uptake after only seven days of sunitinib treatment , an increase of suv uptake during the treatment - off period , and the reduction of suv uptake again when the therapy is restarted after a break . as a last consideration
, our patient has a gist with kit exon 9 mutation and it is well reported that gists with this mutation are sensitive to sunitinib ; no other drugs are available at this time . considering all of these data , during the nephrotic syndrome
, we decided to temporarily reduce the dose of sunitinib and then to maintain a minimal effective dose in order to minimize hypertension and renal kidney dysfunction .
the optimal management of side effects in patients treated with chronic therapy and the maintenance of the efficacy is a big challenge for oncologists . in conclusion
, we describe an unexpected occurrence of a nephrotic syndrome in a patient with metastatic gist treated with sunitinib .
frequent clinical and laboratory tests that include monitoring of kidney function and blood pressure should be performed for early detection of side effects such as hypertension and kidney dysfunction in patients treated for a long time .
moreover , a clinical collaboration between oncologists and nephrologists could also be useful in order to optimize the management of sunitinib . | pubmed |
Dragon Age 1. Nice to Meet You
Livestock lie dead and wagons overturned in an elaborate ruse that almost worked. The dust was slowly settling from the very recent skirmish as they all stood in the narrow passage. Staring down at their latest threat, they listened while he concluded his plea, "To be completely honest, I was never given much of a choice regarding joining the Crows. The only way out, however, is to sign up with someone the Crows cannot touch."
She mulled this all over, trying to keep her head clear. He called himself Zevran, and his attempts at being charming were not winning him any favours, but his rationale was. Due to failing to kill his target, he now had three choices: die at the hands of the Crows, die at her hands, or enter her service. Obviously he was leaning towards the third choice and was trying to convince her to do the same. From what she could tell, he was not lying, and he had proven himself in battle. He may have been defeated, but she personally felt it was just by dumb luck on her part. If he sincerely could be trusted, he would be an extremely powerful ally. The true question was could he actually be trusted?
Finally, Leliana cast a confused look towards their quiet leader – it was not like her to take so long in a decision. Kila was never hasty or reckless, but she usually seemed to immediately know the right course of action. She couldn't help but notice how Kila was looking at the dark-skinned assassin. He was virtually the only other elf Kila had come across since leaving the Alienage, and he even looked like he could be her kin with the same fair hair and bright eyes. That must be confusing. "I will even shine armour," he interrupted the silence, "You won't find a better deal, I assure you."
"He comes with us," Kila quietly said, not looking up
"What?! You're taking the assassin with us now?" Alistair blurted. Had he just heard this right? This elf had tried to kill them minutes ago, and now he'll just be another merry member of their little group?
Darkly, she fixed her eyes on Alistair. Did he think this was just a flippant decision? How can he expect it all so black and white? Menacingly, she sailed over to him, pulling her dagger out from her belt and roughly slapped it flat against his chest, "If you want him dead, then _you_ kill him."
There was a long moment of tension as Kila silently dared him to question her again. Or do the deed himself. Leliana turned from the pair to keep an eye on the fallen assassin. After all, this discord really would be the perfect opportunity for him, although he did not move.
"No," Alistair sighed, "I see your point, we need all the help we can get…Still if there was ever a sign that we were desperate, I think it just knocked on the door and…"
"Just get him up," she barked, slicing through his attempt at levity.
Alistair's jaw visibly clenched at this demand, but he said no more. He knelt down to help the assassin, who was far too injured get up on his own. As they stood, Zevran looked to Kila, "I herby pledge my oath of loyalty to you until such a time as you choose to release me from it. I am your man, without reservation. This, I swear"
She was already walking away from the scene. It was only supposed to be a quick trip to town for more food supplies before they moved on. That's it. No excitement, no ferocious battles, no delays. Of course nothing was ever that simple was it? No doubt, those at camp would be worried by now. Fortunately, the remainder of trip was uneventful, although it was slowed by the injured elf.
It was twilight by the time they reached camp, and Sten had already started the fire. Spotting the companions, Wynne rose to her feet, "We were worried, is everything…" her words stopped short when this new, bloodied person hanging off of Alistair came into view, "…alright? What happened?"
"Oh, nothing much," Leliana replied nonchalantly, "We just got ambushed by a group of assassins and decided to bring their leader home for dinner."
"Put him down there, Wynne will have to see to him," Kila instructed Alistair, pointing near the fire. Rather than helping him down, he simply let go of Zevran who unceremoniously crashed to the ground with a groan.
Wynne looked from Leliana down to the elf crumpled on the ground. Her eyebrows furrowed in both confusion and concern, "What? I'm afraid I don't understand…"
"Join the club," retorted Alistair as he pushed his way through the group and headed towards his tent. In response to all the tension that came barging into the camp, Tolan, the faithful Mabari let out a low growl and he came over to Kila's side.
Zevran struggled to sit up, "Allow me to introduce myself, I…" was as far as he got before the butt of Kila's bow jammed into his shoulder, slamming him back on the dirt. Everyone froze, not sure if they were about to spring into action or get out of the way.
She stood over the assassin with her bow driving into his shoulder, keeping him firmly pinned. Apparently one of his many injuries resided there as he began seeing various colours clouding his vision. But he did not try to move again. "Let me be clear," she hissed at him, "You are not to even breathe, much less get up unless I tell you to. I do not trust you."
His Antivan accent was thick with the pain that he refused to give in to. With a smirk, that was trying not to twist into a grimace he asked, "Then why am I here?"
_Good question._ "Shut up." She growled as she released him from under the thumb of her bow. He respected her request, remaining still and silent. It did not take a brilliant man to realize he was in no position to push his luck at the moment. Wynne also kept the silence, understanding it was not a good time for questions. Perhaps she would seek out Leliana later. Gathering her supplies, she quickly set out to help the injured new party member, welcoming him to the group.
2. Zevran has a Question
_**Author's Note:** So they fight, Blight related things happen, they try to recruit people blah blah blah...okay back to some fluff ;) I'm just going to try and keep my little story bits in one spot is all. And these all do compliment my Horrors and Joys story as a point of interest._
Quietly, she stared deeply into the fire, as was her usual ritual after everyone ate and began to settle in for the evening. It was her time of peace - the only refuge in the world and it was offered to her by the dusk. Shuffling back, she moved to lean on one of the stumps that served as a chair, but stopped quickly with a grimace.
Within seconds, Zevran appeared at her side, "Are you alright my dear Lady?" he asked, not one to miss a thing.
"It's nothing, I'm fine." Kila tried to dismiss him to no avail.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, what are these lies you tell me? You should at least let me take a look, to make sure it truly is nothing." She cast a suspicious look at him but he continued to smile sincerely at her. "I know my way around battle wounds I assure you, but if you would prefer I shall get Wynne …"
With a sigh, she stiffly turned away from him, lifting the back of her as high as she could before stopping from pain. If Zevran made an issue of things, then Wynne made a catastrophic event of them. The old woman was growing on her, even so.
He lifted the back of her shirt up to her shoulders and let out another 'tsk'. Between her spine and shoulder blade was the making of a large, dark, angry bruise. "You did get pummeled awfully hard the other day. I was…" _afraid I wouldn't make it to you in time_, "surprised how quickly you sprang up from it in fact."
After putting pressure on her ribs and getting no reaction he continued, "Good news is there is indeed no serious damage. I do have a salve that might numb the pain, but beyond that, there is little that can be done." He let his fingers linger, gently brushing down the skin of her back. The shiver it incited was difficult to miss, but in response, she dropped her shirt back down. "All the same, I do not think I will drive the butt end of my sword into it".
Her mouth dropped open then shut again quickly at the embarrassment of remembering how she had been when he first arrived at their camp so many weeks ago. Kila seemed to be an open book to him as, without missing a beat, Zevran chuckled softly and squeezed the top of her shoulders, "Oh my dear I jest. After all, I did try to kill you no? Really, it was only fair."
Not giving up his chance to speak with her, he moved in front of her and asked, "So if I am not to heal you, can I at least treat your blades?"
"My…blades?" She pulled her daggers from their sheaths, "But there's nothing wrong with them. I've cleaned them and there's no blood or rust or anything." She turned them over in her hands carefully inspecting them when she noticed the frown on Zevran's face. "Besides, you've more than earned your keep in battle; I was not going to hold you to your promise of shining our armour and such."
"No? Then let me do it out of mercy. I cannot stand to see such blades be so mistreated." Gently he reached over, putting his hands on hers, and carefully tried to pry the daggers from her fingers. He gave her a reassuring smile in light of her insulted look, maybe mistreated was too strong of a word, "Please. Please?" Finally she let her blades slip from her grasp.
She sat up on the stump as Zevran quickly ran back to his tent to grab his supplies. He settled at her feet, with his back to her, and set to work on her weapons. "I've a question, if I may." He said after a moment.
It was his voice that brought her to reality, and she realized she had been staring at the taut muscles in his shoulders as he worked. The light fabric of his tunic did little to hide his masculine form. Averting her gaze she replied, "Sure…of course."
"Well, here is the thing. I swore an oath to serve you yes? And I understand this quest you're on and this is all very fine and well. My question pertains to what you intend to do with me once this business is over with. As a point of curiosity." He suddenly spoke with stiffness although he tried to be casual.
"Do with you…?" She echoed. She could think of a few things but…
"Oh, I imply nothing specific of course," he said lightly, "One simply assumes that once your Grey Warden business is finished, you will have no need of an assassin to follow you about. Am I wrong?" Never once did he turn to look at her, but rather kept focused on slathering foreign creams over the blades of the weapon. His hand moved in small circles as he polished the creams into the metal.
Imply nothing? Oh. "Well, first of all, I don't hold you to your oath." His hand stopped moving. Was he insulted? She quickly added, "It's not that I doubt the sincerity of your oath …not at all. It's just…" Deeply she sighed. What did she mean?
"I don't hold you to your oath because I can't. I can't hold anyone here. I'm not some great army with the power to conscript civilians and house traitors in cages as a deterrent for deserting." He continued to polish, apparently satisfied with that. "For Alistair and I, we have no choice, it's literally in our blood. But each of you has your own reason to be here, be it an oath, a promise, a sense of duty, a genuine desire to help Ferelden, or," her eyes were skimming over those at camp and came to rest on Tolan, the Mabari and she mused, "Or…just have nothing better to do? But whatever the reason that brought you here, all I can do to hold you here is be a leader worth following, be worthy if the time you are giving to me. Which…_which I haven't been_." Her words melted into a whisper as her dark epiphany broke through.
Why did any of them stay? Her look passed over each of her companions again. It occurred to her how extremely lucky she was that no one had left her. Having a cause to believe in only carries people so far, and from there, they need a leader to believe in to move them the rest of the way. Tactical leadership was one thing, but people needed more to inspire loyalty. She knew all this, and yet offered her companions little. Sure, she was warmer to them now than in the beginning, but that's simply throwing shoestrings at a high dragon and calling it sound tactics. Suddenly, she wanted to announce an apology to everyone, but realized that the words would be hollow not to mention juvenile. Instead, she silently swore an oath to her party, an oath to be a leader worthy of them. And…maybe she should see if Bodahn had anything in the way of presents? A little good-will bribe couldn't hurt…
Zevran turned towards Kila and watched her quietly as she fell into contemplation. Her sharp features looked so delicate by the light of the campfire. He almost hesitated to interrupt her, "I made the oath willingly, but this is all the better." His smooth accent gently cut through the cloud of her thoughts. "But let's assume that I didn't desire to leave once the time came. What then?"
"Not go?" she asked, "You mean to say if you had the chance to leave you wouldn't take it? If I had the choice I…just can't understand why any one would stay"
"It is difficult to say why I might not want to leave." Finally he pressed the hilt of her daggers back into her hands as he finished. He looked up into her eyes, silently trying to impress something on her, "Is there no one that I might stay for?"
Was he implying…? A smile tried to pull at the corners of her mouth, but instead she quickly looked down to inspect the daggers in her hands. They were incredible, so rich and shiny they could easily replace any mirrors in camp. She could only guess this might be what they looked like when they were first forged – she was not their first owner, so she would never know.
"Andraste's Grace, these are amazing Zevran, thank you!" she exclaimed as she looked from the blades to him. He still required an answer, "Oh. Well…I don't know what to say. I don't know what will happen, where my duty will take me, or what I might need…." Was that a disappointed flash in his eye? It was so difficult to tell, he held his demeanor so well, "But in any case, I can always use a friend."
Thoughtfully he nodded, almost satisfied with that answer. Almost…"Oh? Not more than friends?"
Was he serious or joking? At the mere thought he might be serious, her face flushed and that smile returned before she could control it. Quickly her face went back to neutral, but her hand had already been shown. With a very forced chuckle she joked, "Well, we'll have to see on that won't we?"
"Indeed we shall," he chose to spare her and not comment on the bit of emotion he saw. They had many conversations over the last several weeks; both of them cautiously showing pieces of sincerity which others might not believe existed. As frightening as it was for him to contemplate letting his guard down, he was harder driven by the desire to witness the small glimpses past her guard.
No one else had seen that smile…no one but Leliana who just happened to look up from darning a hole in her tunic. A warm grin freely spread across her face, as it gave her great pleasure to see her weary leader smile so. She had to admit, it was a surprise that the first sincere smile she had ever seen on Kila was inspired by the man who initially tried to kill her. But so far he had proven himself trustworthy, and all Leliana could hope what that he might continue to make her smile. Gently she began to hum as she returned to her work - not wanting to interrupt the moment she was lucky enough to catch.
3. Alistair after Redcliff
_**Author's Note: **My apologies to those waiting for an update to my longer story, "The Road Ahead", I was out of town this last week so I fell behind. But I will update early next week. Until then, I hope you enjoy this :)_
* * *
It was a ghastly experience. Even as she tried to forget, images of the blood mage sacrificing Arlessa Isolde invaded her mind. The blood…the horror…the icy feeling traveling down her spine as she fought her instincts and merely watched… Isolde's young son had fallen victim to a demon that took control of his body, and Isolde demanded to be sacrificed in order to save him. The distraught mother could not be dissuaded, and Kila was astonished that the decision had fallen on her. It seemed that no matter where she went, everyone was more eager to bow down to the authority of the Grey Wardens than to sort matters out for themselves. Filling that need, she found herself repeatedly rising to the occasion, no matter how much the situation horrified her.
Jowan was true to his word and used the life blood from the Arlessa to spare the boy. Being the only other mage among them, it was Morrigan who was sent into the Fade by the ritual. She was put in great danger to battle the demon, but saw there was no reasonable alternative. Connor was spared and the Arlessa died. Teagan was gracious, having stated that everyone other than the Arl Eamon was expendable. Bearing no ill will, he thanked Kila for sparing Connor, and quickly set to work on Arlessa Isolde's arrangements.
The entire trip back to the camp was eerily quiet. Alistair was unusually silent but Kila was hardly surprised. Being in Redcliff and finding his childhood home so broken would give anyone reason for pause. Kila had expected venomous words from Morrigan for being put in such a risky situation, but no such words came. In fact, she couldn't help but notice when Morrigan did address her, it was with a kinder tone than usual. Either Morrigan had been greatly exhausted by the ordeal, or she understood the position Kila was in. Whichever it was, Kila was grateful for any small miracle the Maker sent her way.
Arriving at camp, the ominous feel of the small group did not dissipate, but rather spread to the others. They instinctively knew not to ask. Kila was able to give a quick nod as she strode past everyone to her bedroll. She desperately longed to shrug off the armour that suddenly sat heavily on her weary shoulders. Making the decision between sacrificing an innocent child or a loving mother still made her sick to her stomach. It was done, but it still played over in her mind. Even though it was early she was ready to crawl into her bedroll and try to find relief in sleep.
Much to Kila's surprise however, Alistair approached her. He began pacing, and instantly she felt defensive. There was a great deal of tension between the two, spurred on by Kila's natural distaste for humans…particularly human males.
"Now that we're back at camp, I want to talk about what happened," he started, "At Redcliff."
Despite her feelings, Kila struggled to be compassionate. Alistair had a difficult time dealing with the recent death of his mentor and being witness to another death of someone he knew must be hard. As the leader of the group, it would be up to her to muster words of encouragement. She offered him a smile, "What's on your mind?"
Alistair hesitated for a moment before finally blurting out in a booming voice, "_You_ let Lady Isolde sacrifice herself! With blood magic!? How could you do that?"
Everyone at the camp turned towards the commotion, but quickly tried to focus their attention elsewhere. Alistair may as well have followed his shouting with a slap across the face - Kila felt the sting all the same. The compassion she tried to build for him quickly turned to ice; the tired fog of her mind cleared as the blood quickened in her veins. She shouted back, "So you think I should have killed a young boy instead?!"
"We could have gone to the Circle, we could have tried harder," Alistair narrowed his eyes at her.
"The Circle?? You mean taken days to travel there and back?!" Kila sputtered, "Surely you're joking! Do you not remember the walking corpses that were Redcliff? If we did not rid Connor of that demon one way or another, by nightfall there would have been another attack…and instead of Isolde, we would be sacrificing an _entire village_ of innocents!"
Alistair scowled, mulling her words over. In a quieter tone he pushed, "We…we just could have tried something other than _blood_ magic."
"Yeah…which would be _killing Connor_," Kila replied hotly, raising her voice, not ready to calm herself.
"I just don't know how you could do that, how you could make that decision…" He matched her raised voice again.
Kila took a step towards Alistair. Bringing herself to her full height she tried to get her face as close to his as she could, "No, of course you don't!! If you _did _know how to make a decision, you wouldn't defer to me all the time!"
"That's not fair!" he stooped slightly as he yelled back, trying to get to eye level as well.
"Not fair?! Is any of this?" Angrily, she jabbed her finger at his chest, "You can't have it both ways. Either _you _jump in and take the lead as the senior Grey Warden, or you stand down and deal with the decisions that _I _make."
Alistair paused for a long moment and straightened up slightly. He took a deep breath and replied, "This is the Arl and his family we're talking about here. It's just…I owe the Arl more than this."
"Oh ho," she hooted excitedly, not acknowledging his attempt at deescalating their shouting match, "So this isn't even about me?? This is about you and him?!"
"No…well maybe. I don't know," he sighed. "But I suppose it's done now…"
The realization of him being angry with himself should have calmed her. It should have struck some sort of maternal cord in her even. At the very least, his deflated tone should have calmed her anger somewhat. However, it just infuriated her further.
Outraged she shoved him hard. Taking him by surprise he stumbled back a step before catching himself. Having already backed down, the hurt and confusion showed on his face.
"I am _not _your punching bag _human_," she shrieked. Alistair stiffened at being called a human. She rarely threw that word around. "I try to be patient with you, help you through Duncan's death, and _this _is the thanks I get? You think this is easy?!"
He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off quickly, "Ugh, forget it. The next time you get the urge to speak to me just…don't!"
Angrily, she spun away and started tearing at her armour straps. Her leather gauntlets came off easily and she hurled them down onto her bedroll, leaving Alistair awkwardly standing behind her and feeling the eyes of his campmates on him.
"I guess _I'm_ the one being the ass here," his words had a hint of sarcasm too them, but he quickly added, "I'm just going to end this before I do more than shove my foot in my mouth like an idiot."
Kila pinched the bridge of her nose, but refused to turn around, "Human, you best be gone by the time I turn around. Fellow Grey Warden or not…"
Alistair's shoulder's fell. He had gone from feeling bad to worse with no way of making it better. Wringing his hands anxiously, he turned and left the elf in peace.
End file.
| fanfiction |
is a Japanese female badminton player. In 2009, she won the Malaysia International Challenge tournament in the women's doubles event partnered with Yu Wakita. In 2010, she and Wakita became the runner-up at the U.S. Open Badminton Championships. In 2017, she won the mixed doubles titles at the China International Challenge tournament partnered with Tomoya Takashina.
Achievements
BWF Grand Prix
The BWF Grand Prix has two level such as Grand Prix and Grand Prix Gold. It is a series of badminton tournaments, sanctioned by Badminton World Federation BWF since 2007.
Women's Doubles
BWF Grand Prix Gold tournament
BWF Grand Prix tournament
BWF International Challenge/Series
Women's Singles
Women's Doubles
Mixed Doubles
BWF International Challenge tournament
BWF International Series tournament
BWF Future Series tournament
References
External links
Category:1988 births
Category:Living people
Category:Sportspeople from Ōita Prefecture
Category:Japanese female badminton players | wikipedia |
Kim Possible 1. Chapter 1
**Title: **Thief to Thief
**Summary: **Shego goes to a club named Junk Pit and finds a little understanding from a world famous diamond thief.
**Disclaimer: **Don't own Kim Possible or anything related to the show. D.E.B.S and its characters all belong to Angela Robinson.
**Rating: **T (Adult themes)
**A/N:** Response to challenge/story idea issued by Stevdown on KP Slash Haven. Kigo and Lucy/Amy pairings.
Slumping in to a booth in the corner of the club she had found her way to Shego sighed and poured herself a double vodka from the full bottle she'd bought at the bar.
"That's my booth." The villianess looked up into stormy brown eyes.
"Don't see your name on it."
The woman looked taken aback by her attitude, as though she was used to being feared and obeyed. Shego smirked and held the bottle out to her. "How bout we share?" A satisfied smirk appeared on the other woman's lips as she sat down and took the bottle from Shego.
"Lucy Diamond." She held out her hand, which was accepted by Shego's gloved hand. Her green and black jumpsuit made her fit in more in the club than the other woman's plain black clothes.
"Shego."
"Nice to meet you Shego."
"So how come your on your own and trying to drown yourself in booze in a place like this?" Lucy asked after she returned with a second bottle to replace the one they'd drunk. Shego didn't reply, just sat staring gloomily at the table. "Got anything to do with a girl?" Her attention instantly snapped to the diamond thief causing her to laugh.
"How did you know?" Lucy lost her smile as her eyes glazed over and darkened.
"It always is." She replied.
"Me. I'm here because I fell in love with a D.E.B, not just any D.E.B though. Oh no, I had to fall for the D.E.B.S poster child, perfect spy. We're supposed to be sworn enemies and I can't stop thinking about her-"
Shego burst out laughing, surprising the other woman. "Welcome to my world. I'm in love with Kim Possible; she makes Mother Teresa look like a rebel! Not to mention she works with Global Justice and is a completely straight prude." Lucy smirked and nodded.
"She _acts _like she is. Amy thought she was straight too, then I kinda' 'kidnapped' her and we ended up getting caught having sex by her team mates."
"o0o kidnapping, that could work…"
Lucy shook her head. "Amy actually wanted to come, we just staged the whole kidnapping. If I forced her in to doing anything it would of pushed her further away. In the end I've just got to play it her way, give her space until she realises she's made a mistake by leaving me for people who can't accept her as she is." Shego listened to her fellow thief's words of advice avidly as she described her situation with Amy Bradshaw, the perfect D.E.B and, so it appeared, clone of Kim.
"Now she won't even talk to me. I've tried everything. She's just so scared of what everyone else thinks that she won't let herself be happy." Shego sympathised with Lucy completely. She didn't think she could bear to have Kim, only to lose her because of her friends and family. "Know what, screw it! I'll show the DEBS why they should never mess with Lucy Diamond! Australia's toast!"
After a few hours and a lot of Vodka both women stumbled out of the club, which was affectionately named Junk Pit, and towards a blue car with a young blonde sitting in it, he oddly reminded Shego of the buffoon. The man smiled politely as Shego got in the front passenger seat, leaving Lucy sprawled out unconscious on the back seat. He cautiously watched her as he drove towards the nearest hotel as Shego had requested.
"Look, Lucy's been through a lot lately. She's in a lot of pain and as her friend I don't think it would be right for me to let her get hurt anymore than she already is-" Shego cocked an eyebrow at his babbling. "You're probably a really nice woman but she is hurting and she is hurting bad! A rebound fling is not going to help-"
"I'm not in to her." Shego replied flatly. "We've just been keeping each other company. We're in the same boat."
The man, Scud, frowned. "You're in love with a teen heroine there is no chance in hell anyone is gonna let you near never mind be with?" Shego nodded sadly and the man instantly shut up. "Oh."
Two days later, as Shego lounged around in Drakken's latest top-secret lair an article in the paper she was reading caught her eye. '**Diamond Does it Again!**' She smiled to herself as she read how Lucy Diamond, world famous Diamond thief, had returned more of what she'd stolen, vowing to became a law-abiding citizen. Lucy had her way of getting Amy. Shego had her own way for getting Kim. She bundled the rope and tranquilliser gun in to a backpack before heading off to leave an anonymous tip on Kim's website. Despite Lucy's warnings Shego was convinced kidnapping could be fun. Kim would have a different opinion.
End.
2. Chapter 2
**Title: **Thief-to-Thief
**Summary: **Shego and Lucy aren't the only ones who cross paths.
**Disclaimer: **Don't own Kim Possible or anything related to the show. D.E.B.S and its characters all belong to Angela Robinson.
**Rating: **PG
**A/N:** Because I give in to peer pressure way to easily…
Chapter Two
"Thank you for your help Miss Possible." The squad leader, a slightly older more toned woman shook her hand. "Even if it was a waste of your time." She glared at one of her team members, a young blonde who looked around sheepishly.
The other two followed their leader out leaving Kim and the blonde girl in the room with the large balloon and streamers that had previously been contained within a fake bomb.
"You're friends don't seem happy with you." Kim tried to approach the girl who looked wistfully at the balloon with her name on.
She shook her head sadly. "They're not. This is my fault." She pointed at the balloon. "It's from a world famous thief who's in love with me-"
"Shego?" Kim asked. The girl frowned and shook her head.
"Lucy Diamond. She…we were together, but it had to stop."
"Because of your friends?" Kim asked, feeling sorry for the heartbroken girl before her. The girl let out a short low laugh.
"Because of everything! I'm the perfect score. I'm the D.E.B.S poster child. If I were to go off with Lucy Diamond I'd lose everything. My family, my friends, my job. I love Lucy." She blushed at admitting it to a total stranger. "But I love helping people. I can't have both."
"Amy!" The leader shouted from outside. "Get your ass in the car!"
The girl sighed and extended her hand to Kim. "Amy Bradshaw."
"Kim Possible." Kim smiled politely. "Hang in there Amy. It'll work out." The girl laughed and shook her head.
"It's not possible." Kim smirked.
"Anything's Possible."
"I like her attitude." Amy jumped as Lucy appeared in the doorway that stood between her and the car. Amy sighed. She was in no mood for Lucy's games. She couldn't sacrifice her life for a criminal, even if she was reforming.
"Lucy, enough! Stop pulling these stunts! It's great that you're being good, but I can't be with you. It's over." She pushed past the silent woman, tears beginning to roll down her eyes. Lucy glared at the empty space where Amy had been.
"Fine. Have it your way." She stormed off before the red head approaching the doorway could notice her.
"Um Shego?" Shego stopped in her tracks, close to the lair's exit.
"Not now Drakken." She growled.
"I'm sorry, but why do you have so much rope?" Shego rolled her eyes and began to count to ten.
"Because it's always handy when abducting people." Both Shego and Drakken's attention snapped towards the dark haired woman who had walked in to the lair unnoticed. "Not as effective as these." Lucy Diamond held up a pair of diamond-encrusted handcuffs and allowed a devilish smile to spread across her lips.
"Thought you were good now?" Shego replied, ignoring Drakken's bewildered look. The woman laughed and shook her head.
"I only get what I want when I'm naughty."
Shego smirked. "And how do I fit in your plans?" The woman looked around the lair at Drakken and his useless inventions scattered everywhere.
"We both want something we're not allowed to have." Realisation dawned on Shego. "So how about we help each other out? You get Amy for me and I get who you want."
"Deal." The raven-haired thief didn't need to think about it before agreeing.
"Just one condition. No one gets hurt." Shego nodded in agreement. "Lets get to work then."
TBC
3. Chapter 3
**Title: **Thief-to-Thief
**Summary: **Lucy and Shego develop what they think is the perfect plan to capture Amy and Kim…but is it?
**Disclaimer: **Don't own Kim Possible or anything related to the show. D.E.B.S and its characters all belong to Angela Robinson.
**Rating: **PG
Chapter Three
"We need a solid plan." Lucy explained as she paced Drakken's lab. The blue scientist looking at her sheepishly every now and then. "Something to capture two really strong and really smart women." Drakken laughed at the remark winning a glare from both women.
"Sorry." He muttered. "Kim Possible isn't a girl. She's just a kid…she thinks she's all that but-"
"Shut up Drakken!" Both women snapped impatiently.
"How old is she?" Lucy asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"Sixteen." Shego replied and waited for the fall out. Lucy nodded and shrugged.
"Sweet sixteen, huh?" She grinned at Shego's confusion of her acceptance of Kim's age. Most people would have freaked if they knew how Shego felt about the younger girl. "C'mon. We've got an evil scheme to work out."
"O0o…I'll help!" Drakken agreed enthusiastically at the phrase 'evil scheme'.
The plan the two women had devised was simple and guaranteed to work. After all they had each told the other exactly how to catch their prey and without having met the other girl before they would have the element of surprise.
Amy Bradshaw had often been described as a saint by her friends and colleagues, so it was no surprise that when she saw a young woman by the side of the road in front of the house she shared with her three fellow DEBS she rushed out to offer her help.
"Need a hand?" She asked, eyes smiling brightly.
"Thanks." The woman smiled, she looked around Amy's age but had a slight green tint to her skin and she was dressed in nothing but black and green. "I'm useless at this, could you fit this tyre thingy?" Amy smiled and took the Jack from the woman's hands and bent down to fix it in place. She never saw the small spark of green plasma that connected with the back of her head, knocking her out instantaneously.
Shego moved quickly and carried the girl over to her own car, leaving the one the she had randomly vandalised in order to get the girl's attention. She drove off with the blonde unconscious on the back seat and headed towards Lucy's secret lair, which unlike all of Drakken's was actually secret. She had held up her part of the deal. She just hoped Lucy would follow through on her part.
Lucy Diamond was used to stealing things, so in her mind she had felt more than ready to steal Kim Possible. Unfortunately she had not heard of the teen's reputation, and even more unfortunate was the fact that Kim had heard a lot about Lucy Diamond. As a dedicated heroine the teenager had learnt about all of the major villains and had seen photos of them all, including Diamond.
So when Lucy approached the red head, disguised as a DEB, and trying not to giggle at thoughts of how the uniform looked on Amy, she was rumbled from the start, but she had no idea.
Kim smiled politely at the older woman as she stood before her and Ron outside of school. Other kids flowed past, with the occasional hormone driven teenager openly staring at Lucy. "Kim Possible, right?" When Kim nodded she continued. "Amy Bradshaw's in trouble and the DEBS would like your help in saving her."
"Sure. Ron and I would be happy to help."
Lucy looked at the young blonde who was sat down in the cafeteria with a naked animal feeding off of his plate. "The DEBS organisation would rather it was just you. You're the more…skilled of Team Possible." Ron looked up indignantly a look of hurt on his face, as well as whatever he was eating.
"Ok."
"KP!" Ron objected. "What about the Ronfactor?" The blonde protested.
"It's ok Ron. This won't take long." She allowed a smirking Lucy Diamond to lead her towards her car and stopped once Lucy opened the passenger door for her to get in. "After you." She smiled. "We DEBS always show our manners…just on the way over here I helped three old people cross the road." Lucy was pushing the good guy routing but if the teen heroine was dumb enough to accept her as a DEB she didn't think she would cause trouble now.
"Thanks." Kim smiled. She bent down to get in and that was when Lucy took her chance. She took out her gun and aimed the butt of it at the younger girl's head. She grunted as she hit thin air and fell against the car. At the last second Kim had dived over the front seat and out of the other door.
"How did you know?" She growled as she dived over the bonnet at the red head. Kim jumped out of the way with practised ease.
"I recognised you. Your Lucy Diamond. And besides, you kind of over did it with playing nice." Kim was about to launch herself at the villain when she froze in her tracks. Lucy had pulled out a gun. Not a tranquillizer or ray gun but an actual deadly gun filled with real bullets that could kill her. She wasn't used to dealing with enemies who would actually use guns.
Lucy smirked. "You're a lot of things Kim Possible, but you're not faster than bullet." She smirked as the girl stared nervously at the gun. "So get in the car and play ni-" Lucy grunted again as she was hit from behind and lurched forward, the gun dropping from her hands.
"Booyah!" The blonde shouted triumphantly as he kicked the gun far from Lucy's reach. She turned around to face him, a deadly scowl on her face. The young man suddenly lost his confidence and ran over to stand beside Kim.
"This isn't over." She growled before taking off as she heard the sound of approaching sirens. Shego wasn't going to be happy.
4. Chapter 4
**Title: **Thief-to-Thief
**Summary: **Shego has some set backs of her own.
**Disclaimer: **Don't own Kim Possible or anything related to the show. D.E.B.S and its characters all belong to Angela Robinson.
**Rating: **PG
Chapter Four.
Shego drove through the quiet streets of Middleton, the home of Lucy's new secret lair and thanked that most people were at work or school so she wouldn't be noticed.
Meanwhile on the back seat Amy began to stir, unnoticed by Shego who's attention was on finding a decent song on the loud radio. Her head ached from whatever the oddly pale woman had done to her and she had to stifle a moan as her wrists chaffed against the rope that bound them together.
Most people in her situation would have panicked and screamed and thrashed about for help, and although that was her first idea upon waking up in the strange car, she was a DEB. She had been trained for the situation and silently checked everything was in working order and nothing hurt too much to escape. The only damage seemed to be the headache she had, everything else was fine. She formed a plan and waited the ten minutes it took for her to have a shot.
Shego cursed as the lights turned red and she had to stop while two nattering old women crossed the road as though there wasn't a car waiting to pass. Amy took her chance. She pushed the door handle down and pushed her feet off of the other door to propel herself forward and out of the car. She landed with a thud that was thankfully drowned out but the loud rock music Shego had playing. She quickly and quietly closed the car door and crept over the road and in to an alleyway.
Once Shego had driven off she allowed herself a sigh of relief and started work on the rope on her wrists. After straightening her skirt out and checking for danger she left her hiding place and headed for the nearest building. She had no idea where she was, but she recognised the building as a school and headed over to it. She dived behind a bush as she saw Lucy's car speed past her and only emerged when she heard Kim Possible's voice. "Why would Lucy Diamond want to kidnap me?"
Kim stopped talking as she realised Ron was paying not attention and looked close to drooling as he stared behind her. She turned around and found Amy Bradshaw standing behind her. "Lucy tried to kidnap you?" She asked, a slight look of hurt on her face.
"Yeah. I have no idea why."
"I think I do." Amy bit her lower lip, a nervous habit, and took a seat at the bench the two teens had ended up sitting at. "Some woman tried to kidnap me today and brought me here. I only just escaped. I think maybe Lucy had to take you as ransom…to get me back." Kim and Ron looked stumped by the blonde's explanation.
"Why KP?" Ron asked before Kim had a chance.
"This woman, what did she look like?" The teen hero quizzed.
"She was pale and wearing this black and green body suit thing…she was also kinda green."
"Shego!" Kim and Ron growled in unison.
When Shego's car entered the garage of the secret lair Lucy was waiting. "She recognised me." She stated simply as Shego got out of the car. "I almost had her but this blonde kid hit me from behind."
"Ugh, the Buffoon." Shego hissed. "I got your girl. But you still need to get me mine, that was the deal." A faint smile touched Lucy's lips as she realised she had Amy.
"Of course. Just as soon as I get Amy settled." She opened the rear door of the car and scowled. "Did you put her in the boot?" Shego shook her head and pushed her aside to look down in to the car. She growled as she saw the empty back seat. Lucy sighed and crossed her arms.
"Looks like we need a new plan."
"I can help!" Dr Drakken sprung up beside them grinning happily.
Both women snapped at him. "No!"
When Lucy's cell phone started ringing she pulled it out of her jeans and almost shrieked when she saw the caller I.D. "Amy?"
"Lucy, I know about what happened." Amy explained.
"You do?" The diamond thief was confused by how she had found out about their plan.
"Yeah, and it's ok. You don't need to give Kim to that weird woman. I got away and I'm safe now." Lucy began to put the bits together in her mind and realised the conclusion the DEB had come to.
"Thank God. I was so worried. Can I see you? I need to know Shego, er…the woman, didn't hurt you-"
"She didn't." Amy interrupted. "I'm fine. I'm just calling so you won't go after Kim again. Goodbye Lucy."
Lucy grinned, confusing Shego who was devastated at the failure of their perfect plan. "I know how to get them both." She explained and took out her phone. "Hey, Scud? I need some help."
5. Chapter 5
**Title: **Thief-to-Thief
**Summary: **Double crossings and decisions…
**Disclaimer: **Don't own Kim Possible or anything related to the show. D.E.B.S and its characters all belong to Angela Robinson.
**Rating: **PG
Chapter Five.
"Bradshaw." Amy answered her cell phone and waited for a response.
"I can't talk for long." Came the whispered reply. "It's Lucy. She's gone off the deep end again. She's going to try and blow up Australia."
"Scud?"
"She's pissed I'm trying to stop her…she's coming. Hurry." The line went dead and Amy looked at Kim.
"I need your help."
"So why can't your organisation deal with this?" Ron received a glare from Kim as they entered the helicopter Wade had arranged for them after calling in a favour. "I'm just asking. I mean there's more of them and if this Lucy Diamond's gonna try and destroy Australia we should at least tell-"
"We can't." Amy snapped. "They'll just think it's some plan of Lucy's to get Scud to lure me to her new lair that no one knows about so she can abduct me again." Seeing the worried glances Kim and Ron exchanged she shook her head. "It's so not. This is for real. Scud can't lie."
Lucy's newest lair was underground just outside Middelton. Wade had located it and provided the ride; they just needed to stop Lucy…and find a way to get in.
"Psst!" All three heroes looked over to a bush that had just hissed for their attention.
"Uh KP…"
"Amy!" It hissed again. The older blonde agent smiled and walked over to it. "Scud?" He grabbed her arm and yanked her down behind the bush, causing Kim and Ron to run to her aid.
"What kind of super spy are you?" He frowned. "Ever heard of stealth?" The blonde man brushed twigs from off of his jacket and took in the other two. The young man with the red head was an unexpected problem.
"Here's my key card." He handed it to Amy. "You and her go stall Lucy. I'll take the kid and go turn off the power." Kim looked nervous about leaving Ron with the stranger.
"C'mon Kim." Amy dragged her over to the doorway behind the bush Scud had been hiding in, not giving her a chance to voice her opinion.
It was only as they were ten minutes in to the maze like lair that Amy stopped and turned to face Kim who was covering the rear. "Can you promise not to hurt Lucy?" She blushed as she spoke. "I really care about her and Scud does too, neither of us want her to blow up Australia…but we don't want her to get hurt either." Kim agreed and pointed to the blonde's gun.
"I'm not the one with one of those."
Ron followed the older blonde as they walked around outside towards a small wooden shed. "The generator is in here." Scud explained, he stepped aside to let Ron in and waited for the teenager to enter before slamming the door shut and bolting it. "Lights out kid."
"Uh…Mr Scud? Hello? The door shut and I can't open it." Ron banged on the door with his fist but got no response. "Hello?"
Kim and Amy's luck wasn't much better than Ron's. After entering the main room of the lair, where the device Lucy planned to destroy Australia with was located they'd promptly ran straight over to check if it was armed. Which was about the same time a heavy metal cage dropped from above them, trapping the two heroines inside.
"That was easy." Shego applauded Lucy's simple yet effective plan. "Guess a good old fashioned trap's all we needed after all."
"Shego!" Kim growled as she realised the villain had been involved in her capture.
"Lucy!" Amy barked, crossing her arms over her chest and huffing. "Let us out, right now!" The mischievous diamond thief smirked in response.
"Or else?"
Amy aimed her gun straight at her, a hard and determined look on her face. "Or else I'll…I'll s-shoot." Lucy walked over to the cage so that the gun was digging in her chest.
"Would have been a lot more convincing without the stutter." Kim groaned as the gun was snatched from the blonde's hands. "C'mon Amy, stop resisting. Things can be like they were before-"
"No." Silent tears ran down the DEBS cheek as she looked in to the other woman's burning gaze. "Lucy, it's over. We can't be together. I can't stop doing my job. I'm sorry."
The dark haired woman frowned and pouted. "Fine. Go." She opened the door to the cage and watched as Amy carefully assessed the situation to decide whether it was a trap. Finally after deciding Lucy wouldn't betray her, no matter how many times Amy had done just that to her, she took Kim's hand.
"C'mon-" Shego's flaming fist haltered their exit.
"Kimmie stays."
Amy was about to protest when she felt Kim release her hand.
"Go." She muttered sullenly. "Find Ron and get out of here."
"But-" Amy turned to see Kim's green orbs burning in to Shego.
"Go." She left no room for argument and Amy finally relented and pushed past Shego without her.
Scud, standing sheepishly in the doorway smiled meekly at Amy as she went to pass him. "Sorry Amy. I did it for Lucy. The blonde kid's in the shed up top." She glared at him and walked out, reluctantly leaving Kim on her own.
"Finally we have caught Kim Possible!" Drakken cackled manically. Lucy, in a fowl mood silenced him with a punch in the face. The quivering blue man lay on the floor, frightened to face the diamond thief.
"C'mon Dr. D." Scud helped him to his feet, scowling at Lucy. "How about a game of bingo?"
"I like bingo." Drakken sniffled as Scud led him away from the two fiery women.
Lucy smiled feebly. "Hope he's a good loser. Scud's the self proclaimed bingo god." Shego took no notice, she was staring at Kim who had slumped to the ground and curled up protectively. "I'll have someone sedate her. We need to relocate to somewhere safe. Somewhere neither the DEBS nor Global Justice can't find us." Lucy's serious speech was interrupted by a high-pitched wail from Drakken followed by a shout from Scud.
"BINGO!"
6. Chapter 6
**Title: **Thief-to-Thief
**Summary: **Kim's giving up and Shego's temper is blowing up.
**Disclaimer: **Don't own Kim Possible or anything related to the show. D.E.B.S and its characters all belong to Angela Robinson.
**Rating: **PG
Chapter Six.
In the two days since they had moved lairs Drakken and Scud had played bingo sixty-eight times. Drakken hadn't won a single game. Lucy remained in her room, sulking over Amy. Scud continuously claimed to be the 'God of bingo', while Drakken moaned and even cried once about losing every single game. Shego was quickly approaching the end of her patience. Kim wasn't eating, drinking or even speaking.
As Shego was on her way to the top floor of one of the many houses Lucy owned, their temporary lair, she bumped in to Drakken. The blue skinned man was unusually cheerful. "I've done it Shego!" He grinned triumphantly.
"Did?" Shego sighed, in no mood for a game of twenty questions.
"I have invented a machine that will predict exactly what numbers will appear! I'll finally beat the bingo god and then I will take his title!"
Shego rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose to try and keep the migraine, which was sure to follow their conversation, at bay. "Dr. D. First bingo is a game of chance. Probability. Luck. You can't predict what order the balls will come out in. Second, there is no God of bingo." Drakken huffed and wandered off to find Scud for a fresh game of bingo.
"It's not his fault Kim's not in to you." Shego glared at the diamond thief leaning casually against a near by door.
"At least I've still got Kim, I didn't just let her walk out!" She growled, her mood foul from two days of Kim ignoring her and refusing to speak to her. Lucy laughed, a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Sometimes you've got to let something go before it realises it doesn't want to leave." She walked off without further explanation, leaving the furious villain on her own.
She stormed in to the room she had locked Kim in and glared at the teen hero. She sat on the windowsill slumped against the bars that prevented her from just smashing the window and escaping. She looked up at Shego and then returned her gaze to the view outside, which consisted of fields and trees as far as the eye could see.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Shego growled. "Why aren't you trying to attack me? Or dig a tunnel out of here with a spoon?" The young heroine looked at her with a hollow gaze.
"We're on the second floor. A tunnel wouldn't work."
Shego slumped to the ground in defeat and laid her head against the door. "What's happened to you Kim?"
"Amy." Kim sighed. "She's twenty one years old." Shego wasn't following.
"She's twenty one and she can't do anything. She wants to go to art school but the DEBS, the government and everyone else says no. She loves Lucy Diamond but even when Lucy tried being good they all said no. She can't do anything but what she's told to-"
"And you're worried that when you graduate and get recruited by Global Justice you're gonna' end up the same way?" Kim nodded, still keeping her eyes glued to the window. "Deja-vu." Shego muttered bitterly.
"When I was one of the good guys with my brother we **always** had to do the right thing. Had to act a certain way and be a certain way. If I didn't then I'd have Hego and everyone else on my back." Shego grew silent for a few moments until Kim looked over at her, affirming she wanted to hear more.
"You can't always do the right thing or what everyone else wants you to do. Sometimes you've got to do the wrong thing…because it's the right thing."
Kim laughed, grabbing Shego's attention. It started as quiet mirth and soon exploded in to full blown laughter. "I'm getting advice on what's right and wrong from a sociopath."
"I'm not a sociopath. Just because I like being bad, doesn't mean I don't feel guilty or afraid…or that I don't care about people." Shego snapped.
"Name one person." Kim broke the awkward silence that had settled over the room. "One person, other than yourself, that you actually care about."
"I cared about my parents." Shego rose to her feet and advanced on Kim. "I cared about my brothers until they stopped caring about me. I cared about saving this stupid world until it turned it's back on me for wanting to actually **live** my life." She grabbed Kim by her T-shirt and pulled her to her feet.
"One person I don't care about though. Is YOU!" She pushed the teenager away roughly and slammed the door shut on her way out. She found Lucy standing in front of her, a knowing smile on her face.
"You remind me of Amy you know that?" Shego wasn't in the mood. She tried to shove past her only to be pushed back.
"You're both great liars. You can't lie to **other** people but you do a damn good job of lying to yourselves."
7. Chapter 7
**ThTitle: **Thief-to-Thief
**Summary: **Shego shares with Kim and Lucy tries to get her girl.
**Disclaimer: **Don't own Kim Possible or anything related to the show. D.E.B.S and its characters all belong to Angela Robinson.
**Rating: **PG
Chapter Seven
"I'm worried about Kim." Lucy looked up from the TV to see Shego standing uneasily in the doorway of the living room "She's not herself. She's really depressed. Questioning her life, and her future…and she reminds me of me right now."
"That a bad thing?"
Shego looked off in to the distance and nodded. "Yeah. She's gonna' go off the rails…just like I did." Lucy nodded and shifted along on the couch to let Shego sit down.
"She's a teenager Shego, and at some point or another every teenager goes through a rough time and starts to feel like giving up, even teenage heroines." Lucy explained. She looked thoughtfully and then allowed a small smile to spread across her lips. "If you want to be closer to her, to get through to her, you've got to give a little. It worked with Amy and me. I let her see the person, not the villain…and she let me see the real her."
Shego looked alarmed about revealing anything to Kim. "Look, I'm not saying to go in there and tell her how you feel about her. Just go tell her about your teenage years, let her know that she's not the only kid to ever question their entire life. It'll help. I promise."
"It's a worth a try to get the old Kimmie back." Shego jumped to her feet, her energy renewed and returned to Kim's room. She unlocked the door and entered the unlit room, closing the door behind her.
Her plan to talk to Kim there and then vanished as her eyes settled on Kim's sleeping figure, tucked up in bed. "See you in the morning, Princess."
When Kim stirred in the morning she found Shego sitting at the end of her bed. She jumped up in alarm and looked around frantically, realising for the third day in a row that she wasn't in her room.
"What do you want?" She asked as she settled back down.
"To help." Shego replied. "What you're going through right now, questioning your life and what you're going to do with it, I've been there before. And I guess after I thought about it as much as I did what was right for me. I stopped being a hero and started being bad."
"Are you trying to get me to go bad?" Kim asked, confused as to why Shego was telling her so much.
The villainess shook her head. "I'm trying to stop you from making a mistake. You're a hero Kimmie, and having you're little teenage angst-fest isn't going to change that. You can't stop being a hero Princess."
"You did." The words hurt more than they should have, causing Shego to remain silent for a few moments.
She contemplated whether or not to tell her 'enemy' the story behind her change of sides. Finally seeing it as the only way to help her she explained. "You're free to choose who you date, to hang out with your friends and to be a cheerleader…I didn't have that. My life outside of school was all work, work, work. I hated it. My brothers didn't…don't…approve of my lifestyle. Who I wanted to date and who I wanted to spend time with. They gave me an ultimatum. My…lifestyle. Or them. So I chose. Unlike Amy, and me, the people who care about you wouldn't make you chose Kim."
"You and Amy have the same problem?" Kim asked, processing the information Shego had given her. The older woman nodded, smiling absently.
"We both had to chose between being a good guy and being…ourselves. And we both want to be with people we're not allowed to have. So stop sulking Kim, you've got it pretty good."
She hopped off of the bed and headed for the door only to be stopped by a hesistant Kim. "S-shego? Are you…are you like Amy and Lucy?" Shego raised her eyebrow.
"Like them how?" She knew what Kim was asking but she wasn't going to give up the information so easily.
"Do you like girls?" Kim blurted the sentence out quickly, blushing deeply. Shego grinned.
"Only one, Princess."
Shego once again found Lucy standing outside of the door, a large smile on her face. "I think you're getting through to her, and not just about getting over her teenage 'angst-fest'. You're getting your girl so now I'm going to go get mine."
Shego smiled as she watched Lucy go. She liked the idea of getting 'her' girl. Lucy's previous advice suddenly popped in to her mind and made sense for the first time. She unlocked Kim's door and leaned against it casually. "Get ready. We're going out."
"Where?" Kim quizzed as she slipped on her shoes and ran a hand through her hair. She held out a bandana she had borrowed from Scud, after promising not to tell Drakken where the blonde bingo champion was hiding from him, and smirked.
"It's a surprise."
The teenager looked hesitantly at the bandana as Shego approached her and stood behind her. "Do you trust me?" Shego's breath tickled against the girl's neck, causing her to shudder. Her answer was instantaneous.
"Yes." Where had that come from? Since when did she trust her enemies? Especially Shego!
"Good." Shego purred, placing the bandana over Kim's eyes and tying it in place. Kim jumped in surprise as Shego's gloved hand took hold of her own and guided her out of the room and down some stairs.
They paused at the front door as Shego unlocked it and then slowly made their way over to the older woman's car. She helped Kim in to the front passenger seat, buckling up her seat belt to ensure her safety.
Kim in her hindered state could only hear the roar of the road and the music that played from the radio as they drove along in silence. Her unrestrained hands went to pull at the make shift blindfold until Shego's firm voice stopped her. "No peaking Kimmie. Just trust me. You won't regret it."
After another full night of helping Ron and Global Justice looked for Kim, Shego and Lucy, Amy slumped in to bed, still fully clothed and closed her eyes to sleep. It was early and none of the Possible's were up; she was staying with them and had been given Kim's room to stay in while they searched for her
She groaned as hot and needy lips covered her own and nimble hands worked their way down her tired body. She didn't need to open her eyes to know who was in the room with her. "Stop it Lucy."
The diamond thief obediently stopped and simply lay beside the other girl, her head resting on her chest. "Where's Kim?"
"With Shego back at the hideout." Lucy replied.
"Where's the hideout?" Lucy remained silent, watching as the DEB's chest rose and fell. "Lucy this is serious. Kim's family really miss her. You have to make Shego let her go."
"It's Shego's call, not mine." She objected, nipping playfully at Amy's neck. "Just like it was your call to go with me when I asked you to."
Amy pushed her away and got to her feet. "Yeah, and I chose to go back to the DEBS." Lucy sighed and remained on Kim's bed.
"You didn't want to."
"I had to."
Lucy stood up and cupped her chin in her hands, staring at her with intense eyes. "No. You didn't. We could have left together. Gone to Barcelona. You could have gone to art school." Amy smiled without thinking.
"And you would have rented sailboats to tourists."
"We still can." Lucy tried for a kiss but was rejected.
The blonde lay her head down on the thief's shoulder, her tears wetting her shoulder. "I'm begging you Lucy, let Kim go and let me get on with my life."
"You're life's a lie Amy. It's not what you want." Lucy objected letting her own tears spill.
"I know." It was barely above a whisper but it wasn't unnoticed. "Just go Lucy."
Pausing at the open window the dark haired woman looked at her lover with pleading eyes. "I love you."
"I love you too." Amy replied. "Now go."
8. Chapter 8
**Title: **Thief-to-Thief
**Summary: **A mystery journey anda surprising trust.
**Disclaimer: **Don't own Kim Possible or anything related to the show. D.E.B.S and its characters all belong to Angela Robinson.
**Rating: **PG
**A/N**: Betweenwork and college I've had very little time to write and the lack of inspiration on top of that didn't help matters. But I've finally updated! And the good news is I'll be finished within another chapter or so.
Chapter Eight
"Are we there yet?" Kim asked for the fifth time in ten minutes. The car screeched to a halt.
"Kimmie. What did I tell you the last time you asked?"
"No?"
The villain sighed. "The other thing."
"You'd pull over and throw me in to a ditch with the blindfold still on? I'll be quiet now." Kim could hear Shego's frustration but she couldn't see her smile.
"Shego?" Another ten minutes passed before the teenager spoke again.
"Ditch." Shego growled in response.
"I was just gonna ask if I could go to the bathroom."
Growling with frustration Shego pulled over at the nearest gas station. She led the still blindfolded Kim to the, thankfully empty, bathroom and finally removed the blindfold. The teenager blinked rapidly as the light hit her eyes. She looked behind her and found the stalls and headed in to one. Shego's hand stopped her from shutting the door. "Shego!" She growled.
"Uh uh Kimmie. I'm not risking you escaping. She turned around to face away from the door, giving Kim _some_ privacy. Kim's feeble escape plan had been ruined. She only had one chance left to escape.
Shego turned and grabbed the teen hero's fist before it could make contact. She shoved her against the wall, pinning her arms above her head. "Need a hand Princess?" She purred as she teasingly unbuckled Kim's belt. She hadn't expected the baggy cargo pants to drop. "Shego!" The red head screamed in indignation.
"Aren't you a little old to have hearts on your panties?" The teen's face burned as brightly as her hair.
"Aren't you a little old?" She snapped huffily. Shego emitted a low threatening growl and pushed her harder against the wall.
"I'm only twenty."
Kim looked deeply sceptical. "But that would mean you're barely out of your teens!"
"Congratulations Kimmie, you can count."
"Wow. I always thought you were some mature bad-ass woman."
"Aw, Kimmie, you think about my ass?" Kim's blush deepened and she restarted her struggling. She was rewarded with another shove.
"You really should know more about your opponents Pumpkin."
"Oh yeah? What do you know about me?" The teenager snapped.
A sly smirk spread over the villain's lips as she openly eyed Kim's well-toned body. "Everything." She pressed her lips against the shocked teen's ear. "Maybe you should make more of an effort to get to _know_ me." She purred.
"S-sure." Kim stammered. "Maybe sometime when my pants aren't around my ankles." The younger girl was phased by Shego's teasing. After fighting her for so long her taunting and teasing had become natural and expected. But standing, with Shego's body pushed against her, staring in to burning green eyes, she wasn't sure it was just teasing.
"Starting now." She pulled Kim's pants up by her belt. "What have you got to lose?"
The heroine remained silent for a few moments, thinking of what she could lose by calling a truce with the older woman. Her reputation, her family and their trust, Ron… "Everything."
"Take a risk." Shego purred in an all too tempting way.
Lucy slumped in her car after work and sighed, looking up at Scud she sulked. "Being good is hard."
"She's worth it." Her best friend smiled, probably thinking of his own D.E.B. Lucy nodded in agreement.
"I'm going to show her. I can be a good guy too."
"No, Shego!" Kim groaned. "I can't take anymore!" Shego smirked as she set dessert in front of Kimmie. The diner they sat in was busy enough to keep them hidden from spying eyes and prying ears.
"Maybe if you ate more pudding you pants wouldn't fall down." The teen stuck her tongue out at the older woman, winning a small chuckle from her. "So what next?"
Kim looked thoughtfully and shrugged. "I wasn't really planning on spending the afternoon with my arch nemesis."
"Hmm…well I've got some fun ideas." Kim scowled and rolled her eyes. Shego feigned innocence. "I was going to suggest we go shopping, but it's your choice Princess."
"Shopping sounds fun."
"What are we waiting for then?"
She grabbed hold of the teenager's arm and rushed out of the café and in to the car.
"Shego!" she barked as they sped off. "You didn't pay." The villain smirked and rolled her eyes.
"Relax."
As Kim watched the streets whiz by she realised she was in Middleton. Shego had been taking her home before her escape attempt. She hoped she wouldn't regret staying with her.
"Kimmie!" Shego dragged her in to one of the first stores she found in the mall. "You would look so hot in that." The teen blushed at her choice of words.
"I haven't got any money and we're not stealing." Shego rolled her eyes and grabbed the items of clothing she wanted for Kim. She dragged her over to the changing rooms.
"Shego they're…my size?" Kim held the clothes and looked quizzically at her enemy.
"I guess all that staring at you pays off." She grinned as Kim entered a fitting room. The teenager looked at herself in the mirror. The black jeans sat snugly against her at her hips, leaving her midriff bare in the stripy green T-shirt that highlighted her eyes and her chest. She had to admit. Shego had taste.
"Perfect." Shego's gaze raked over her entire body. The teen shuffled self-consciously and returned to the fitting room to put her own clothes back on. When she emerged she found a shop assistant waiting for her to take care of the sale.
"You're friend said she'd be right back." The woman smiled politely as she bagged the items and handed her a credit card. The name said 'Shae Go'.
"Ready Princess?" She jumped as Shego appeared behind her.
"Yup. I'm ready _Shae._" She handed her the credit card back and surprised herself by allowing the older woman to link in to her arm.
"C'mon Kimmie, let's get you out of those clothes."
"Shego!"
"And in to the new ones." She added. "Eventually." She laughed as she received a playful slap from the younger girl. It was friendly and light, not violent and determined like her blows were when they fought. Shego enjoyed the change.
Once they were back in the car Shego sat with the blindfold in her hands and looked sullenly over at the puzzled red head. "I'm gonna' take you to my place." She leant forward and tied the length of material over Kim's eyes, making sure not to pull her hair as she tied the knot. "It's a little far."
"I trust you." The words were out before Kim knew it. She didn't regret them though. She actually felt safe with her enemy. With Shego.
End file.
| fanfiction |
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The English novelist, journalist and playwright Arnold Bennett wrote prolifically between 1898 and his death in 1931. This is a list of his published books and adaptations of his works for stage and screen.
Fiction
Novels
Sources: New Cambridge Bibliography of English Literature and Arnold Bennett by Margaret Drabble.
Short stories
The Loot of Cities: Being the Adventures of a Millionaire in Search of Joy 1905
The Loot of Cities; Mr Penfound's two Burglars; Midnight at the Grand Babylon; The Police Station; The Adventure of the Prima Donna; The Episode in Room 222; Saturday to Monday; A Dinner at the Louvre
Tales of the Five Towns 1905
At Home; His Worship the Goose Driver; The Elixir of Youth; Mary with the High Hand; The Dog; A Feud; Phantom; Tiddy-Fol-Lol; The Idiot; Abroad; Hungarian Rhapsody; The Sisters Quita; Nocturne at the Majestic; Clarice of the Autumn Concerts; A Letter Home (written in 1893)
The Grim Smile of the Five Towns 1907
The Lion's Share; The Baby's Bath; The Silent Brothers; The Nineteenth Hat; Vera's First Christmas Adventure; The Murder of the Mandarin; Vera's Second Christmas Adventure; The Burglary; The News of the Engagement; Beginning the New Year; From one Generation to Another; The Death of Simon Fuge; In a New Bottle
The Matador of the Five Towns 1912
Tragedy: The Matador of the Five Towns; Mimi; The Supreme Illusion; The Letter and the Lie; The Glimpse; Frolic: Jock-at-a-Venture; The Heroism of Thomas Chadwick; Under the Clock; Three episodes of the life of Mr Cowlishaw, dentist; Catching the Train; The Widow at the Balcony; The Cat and Cupid; The Fortune Teller; The Long-lost Uncle; The Tight Hand; Why the Clock Stopped; Hot Potatoes; Half a Sovereign; The Blue Suit; The Tiger and the Baby; The Revolver; An Unfair Advantage
Elsie and the Child, and other stories 1924
Elsie and the Child; During Dinner; The Paper Cap; The Box-Office Girl; Mr Jack Hollins against Fate; Nine o'clock To-morrow; The Yacht; Outside and Inside; Last Love; The Mysterious Destruction of Mr Ipple; The Perfect Creature; The Fish; The Limits of Dominion
The Woman who Stole Everything, and other stories 1927
The Woman who Stole Everything; A Place in Venice; The Toreador; Middle-aged; The Umbrella; House to Let; Claribel; Time to think; One of their Quarrels
The Night Visitor and other stories 1931
The Night Visitor; The Cornet-Player; Murder; The Hat; Under the Hammer; The Wind; Honour; The First Night; The Seven Policemen; Myrtle at 6 a.m.; Strange Affair at an Hotel; The Second Night; The Understudy; The Peacock; Dream; Baccarat; The Mouse and the Cat
"Uncollected Short Stories 1892-1932" (pub 2010)
He Needn't Have Troubled How He Looked; The Artist's Model; In a Hospital. A Broken-Off Match; The Heavenly Twins on the Revolt of the Daughters; A Modern Girl. The Revolt of me Daughter; The Silken Serpent. A Fantasia; A First Night. 'The Floodgates of Society'; Strange Story. In the Matter of a Letter and a Lady; Five O'Clock at the Heroines' Club. A Fantasy; Rejected. A Girl and Another Girl; An Academy Work. The Mutilation of a Statue; Fenella: A Manx Idyll; 'My First Book'; The Repentance of Ronald Primula; A Divided Ghost; The Clapham Theosophical Society; An Astral Engagement; The Fatal Marriage; Dr Anna Jekyll and Miss Hyde; The Phantasm of My Grandmother; The Crystal-Gazers; A Little Deal in 'Kaffirs'; The Adamless Eden. A new Fairytale; John and the Lovely Stranger; The Marriage of Jane Hendra; The Christmas Chimes of Malyprès; Dragons of the Night; The Great Fire at Santa Claus' House; The Romance of Bobby Lempriere; The Scratched Face; A Millionaire's Wife; The Phantom Sneeze; The Strange Shelter; The Railway Station; The Farlls and a Woman; The White Feather; The Life of Nash Nicklin; The Muscovy Ducks; The Great Huntress; Leading to Marriage; The Flight
Lord Dover & Other Lost Stories (pub 2011)
Lord Dover; What's Bred in the Bone; The Advanced Woman; Restaurant Spooks; The Renaissance of the Romp; Little Popow; Varnish and Vanity at the RA; On Growing Old; The Train; How Percy Goes to the Office; The Inner-Circle Express; Stella's Journey; The Clock; The Fortress; The Power of Love; Miss Scrooge; The Lure of Life; The Alarm; What Men Want
Stage and screen
Polite Farces for the Drawing Room (contains The Stepmother, A Good Woman and A Question of Sex) 1899
Cupid and Commonsense (dramatisation of The Old Wives' Tale) 1908
What the Public Wants 1909
The Honeymoon 1911
Milestones (with Edward Knoblock) 1912
The Great Adventure 1913
The Title 1918
"The Wedding Dress" (film scenario) 1920
Sacred and Profane Love (based on the 1903 novel) 1919
Judith 1922
The Love Match 1922
Body and Soul 1922
Don Juan de Maraña 1923
London Life (with Knoblock) 1924
The Bright Island 1924
The Only Way film scenario 1926
Mr Prohack 1927 (with Knoblock, based on the 1922 novel)
The Return Journey 1928
"Punch and Judy" (film scenario) 1928
Piccadilly film screenplay 1929
Judith libretto for one-act opera, based on his 1922 play; music by Eugene Goossens 1929
Don Juan de Maraña libretto for four-act opera, based on his 1923 play, music by Goossens. Libretto completed in 1931; opera premiered (Covent Garden) 1937
Non-fiction
Journalism for Women 1898
Fame and Fiction (collected criticism) 1901
The Truth about an Author (autobiographical) 1903
How to Become an Author: A Practical Guide 1903
The Reasonable Life 1907
The Human Machine: A Pocket Philosophy 1909
Literary Taste: How to Form It 1909
How to Live on 24 Hours a Day 1910
The Feast of St Friend: A Christmas Book 1911 (published in the US and in later British editions as Friendship and Happiness)
Mental Efficiency, and Other Hints to Men and Women 1911
Those United States 1912 (published in the US as Your United States)
The Plain Man and His Wife 1913
Paris Nights and Other Impressions of Places and People 1913
The Author's Craft 1914
From the Log of the Velsa (travel sketches, published in the US in 1914 and in Britain in 1920)
Liberty: A Statement of the British Case 1914
Over There: War Scenes on the Western Front 1915
Books and Persons: Selections from The New Age 1908–1911) 1917
Self and Self-Management 1918
Our Women: Chapters on Sex-Discord 1920
The Art of A. E. Rickards 1920
Things That Have Interested Me 1921
Things That Have Interested Me (second series) 1923
How to Make the Best of Life 1923
How to Live 1925; consisting of How to Live on 24 Hours a Day, Mental Efficiency, and Self and Self-Management
Things That Have Interested Me (third series) 1926
The Savour of Life: Essays in Gusto 1928
The Religious Interregnum 1929
Journals
Volumes 1 and 2 (1896–1921), edited by Newman Flower, 1932
Volume (1921–1928), edited by Flower, 1933
Journal for 1929, edited by Bennett, 1930
Selections from the complete journals, edited and selected by Frank Swinnerton, 1954 (revised edition, with additions, 1971)
Florentine Journal, 1910 with illustrations by Bennett, 1967
Letters
The Letters of Arnold Bennett edited by James Hepburn, four volumes, 1966–1986
Sources: Arnold Bennett by Frank Swinnerton; Arnold Bennett by Margaret Drabble.
Adaptations by others
Cinema
The Grand Babylon Hotel (1916)
Milestones (1916)
Milestones (1920)
The Great Adventure (1921)
The Old Wives' Tale (1921)
The Card (1922)
His Double Life (1933)
Holy Matrimony (1943)
Dear Mr. Prohack (1949)
The Card (1952)
Television
The Great Adventure: BBC 1939, with D. A. Clarke-Smith, Marda Vanne and Felix Aylmer
The Great Adventure: BBC 1947, with Harold Scott, Iris Baker and Richard Goolden
The Title: BBC 1950, with Jill Esmond and Raymond Huntley
Milestones: BBC 1950, with Michael Denison and Dulcie Gray
The Great Adventure: BBC 1958, with Margaret Lockwood and Alec Clunes
Hilda Lessways: BBC 1959 – six-part dramatisation of Clayhanger and Hilda Lessways, with Judi Dench
What the Public Wants: BBC 1959, with Patrick Wymark, Dulcie Gray and Hugh Burden
The Old Wives' Tale: BBC 1964 – five-part dramatisation, with Frances Cuka and Lana Morris
Lord Raingo: BBC 1966 – four-part dramatisation, with Kenneth More
Imperial Palace: BBC 1969 – four-part dramatisation, with Roy Dotrice and Cyril Luckham
Whom God Hath Joined: BBC 1970, with Brian Blessed
The Price of Love: BBC 1970, with Stephan Chase
Clayhanger ATV 1976 – 26-part adaptation of Clayhanger, Hilda Lessways and These Twain, with Peter McEnery, Denis Quilley, Janet Suzman and Harry Andrews
Anna of the Five Towns: BBC 1985 – four-part dramatisation, with Lynsey Beauchamp, Emrys James, Peter Davison, Anton Lesser and Anna Cropper
Sophia and Constance: BBC 1988 – six-part dramatisation of The Old Wives' Tale, with Lynsey Beauchamp, Katy Behean and Patricia Routledge
Sources: BBC Genome and British Film Institute.
References
Sources
Bibliographies by writer
Bibliographies of English writers
Journalism bibliographies | slim_pajama |
A song of Ice and Fire 1. Chapter 1
_**What am I supposed to do with this time?
It tears so many holes, I stay afloat but I
Feel out of control, so petrified,
I'm petrified**_
_**What am I supposed to do to get by
Did I lose everything I need to survive?
Cause at 4 a.m. when the sweat sets in
Did you get my message, did it send,
Or did you just get on with your life?
**__**Oh..**_
Ela não teve tempo de raciocinar direito. Tão logo Jon abriu a porta do quarto, com o rosto pálido como um fantasma, ela soube que havia algo errado. Ele não deu muitas explicações, pegou o máximo de roupas que conseguiu e jogou dentro de uma sacola. Arya se levantou da cama e foi ajudá-lo para poupar tempo.
Não chegava a ser uma novidade, mas algo no rosto dele dizia que daquela vez as coisas estavam mais complicadas do que o normal. Ela conhecia a estratégia, as perguntas seriam respondidas depois, quando houvesse tempo e uma estrada infinita diante deles. Bran e Rickon ainda não estavam em casa quando ela chegou carregando as encomendas que a mãe havia feito na modista, Arya suspeitava que Robb já havia se encarregado de levá-los para um lugar seguro.
Em uma das sacolas que Jon escondeu dentro do estepe havia dinheiro o bastante para tirá-los do estado e levá-los para um local seguro. Jon acelerou o carro e saiu cantando pneu. Ao saírem da garagem Arya pode ver alguns dos homens que trabalhavam para o pai dela preparando o esquema de segurança. Isso significava que Robb, ou o pai dela voltariam em breve. Sempre deveria haver um Stark na casa.
Jon não disse uma palavra durante pelo menos duas horas. Ela temia que algo grave tivesse acontecido como pai dela. Não podia dizer ao certo, mas tinha um mau pressentimento quando ele começou a negociar com os Lannister e os Baratheon. Para Ned Stark havia um limite, havia um código a ser seguido, mesmo quando seus negócios não eram legais, mesmo que envolvessem algum derramamento de sangue. Nem todas as famílias gostavam desse tipo de coisa e para algumas, poder era poder e devia ser obtido a qualquer custo.
Ele estava com uma arma na cintura e no banco de traz havia uma metralhadora escondida dentro de uma caixa de violino. Se fosse apenas uma confusão qualquer na cidade Jon não estaria carregando armamento tão pesado. Já estava escuro quando finalmente pararam para descansar. O hotel era pequeno e cheirava a mofo.
- Não diga seu nome em hipótese alguma. – ele disse se virando para ela – Se perguntarem, e vão perguntar, você é minha esposa e nós estamos a caminho de New York porque recebi uma proposta de emprego. Nosso sobrenome é Snow.
Arya concordou com um aceno de cabeça contido. Jon abriu o porta luvas do carro e tirou de lá um revolver pequeno, entregando-o a ela.
- Se alguém nos reconhecer, ou se algo errado acontecer no meio do caminho, isso pode fazer alguns buracos se você for rápida o bastante. Vai ter que ser rápida. – ele disse.
- O que exatamente está acontecendo. – ela finalmente perguntou. Jon respirou fundo.
- Te conto quando estivermos no quarto. – ele disse tentando parecer calmo.
- E com o que meu "marido" trabalha? – ela perguntou.
- Trabalho numa agência bancária. Fui contratado por um banqueiro judeu de New York. – ele respondeu abrindo a porta do carro. Jon deu a volta para ajudá-la a descer, mas antes de entrar ele retirou de dentro do bolso uma caixinha – Melhor colocar isso, se quiser convencer alguém.
Arya abriu a caixinha e colocou o anel no dedo. Era a primeira vez que ela tinha de recorrer a um disfarce. Aquilo era um mau sinal. Aquilo indicava que o estado de New Hampshire já não era mais seguro.
Entraram no hotel e foram recebidos por um senhor baixinho, de bigode branco e cabelo ralo. Ele deu aos dois a chave do quarto que ficava no segundo andar e que, segundo ele, estava em melhor estado do que os demais. Jon pediu para que ele levasse comida, nada muito complicado.
Eles subiram pela escada. Jon carregava as malas e reclamava sobre a quantidade de roupas que sua esposa tinha. Ela revidou dizendo alguma bobagem que fez o senhor baixinho rir pouco antes de deixá-los a sós dentro do quarto. Jon deixou as malas de lado e fechou as cortinas. Arya aproveitou para retirar o casaco e se sentar sobre a cama.
Jon retirou de dentro do paletó uma daquelas garrafinhas que ele usava para guardar uísque. Deu um longo gole e respirou fundo, antes de passar a bebida pra ela. Arya bebeu, tentando não fazer careta ou cuspir a bebida. Se aquilo era o que havia de melhor no mercado negro, ela não queria nem saber o que era servido em bares vagabundos.
_**I've taken time and thinking I don't think it's fair for us**__**
**__**To turn around and say goodbye**__**
**__**I have this feeling and I've finally found the words to say**__**
**__**But I can't tell you if you turn around and run away,**__**
**__**Run away**_
- Pode me dizer agora? – ela insistiu. Jon se virou para ela e seus olhos deixavam claro que ele estava tentando pensar em uma forma de não assustá-la.
- Estamos em guerra. Acho que já percebeu isso. – ele disse e Arya concordou com um aceno de cabeça – Desta vez é diferente. Os Lannister e os Baratheon, bem...Eles estão de olho na bebida que estamos trazendo da Escócia e Irlanda pela nossa costa. Coisa cara, coisa que muita gente está disposta a comprar em todos os cassinos e hotéis de luxo. Tywin Lannister não gosta da ideia de ter que nos pagar para ter o melhor. Ele estava tentando negociar condições melhores através dos Baratheon, o problema é que Robert foi baleado numa emboscada da polícia e agora Joffrey está recebendo juramentos de lealdade das outras famílias. O que quer dizer que o território Baratheon agora é território Lannister. Um dos nossos comboios foi interceptado na Virginia e dizem que a carga foi levada para Ilinois, território Baratheon. Seu pai estava na estrada pra conferir o carregamento. No meio do tiroteio ele foi ferido.
- Onde ele está agora? – Arya perguntou tentando não soar desesperada.
- Não temos notícias ainda. Dizem que foi levado para um hospital local e sua segurança está a cargo dos Bolton, mas eu não boto minha mão no fogo por aqueles miseráveis. – Jon disse as pressas – Bran e Rickon estão com Robb. Com sorte já devem ter atravessado a fronteira e conseguiram encontrar Tio Benjen. Ele saberá o que fazer. Sua mãe e Sansa estão com a sua tia Lysa. O marido dela ofereceu proteção.
- E nós. Pra onde nós estamos indo? – ela perguntou angustiada – Por que não estou junto com a minha mãe?
- Grupos menores podem passar despercebidos mais facilmente. – Jon respondeu de forma prática – Nós vamos pra Flórida.
- O que diabos nós vamos fazer na Flórida?! – Arya perguntou se levantando da cama de uma vez – Aquilo é território Targaryen! Nós vamos pisar lá dentro e vai haver um alvo pintado em nossas cabeças.
- Não vai. – Jon respondeu – Temos garantia de salvo conduto e proteção lá. Aemon Targaryen pode ser um velho senil, mas não atira em gente do próprio sangue.
- Que baboseira é essa? – Arya praticamente rosnou. Jon puxou de dentro do bolso uma carta.
Jon chegou a abrir a boca pra responder, mas alguém bateu na porta, anunciando que era a comida que ele havia pedido. Jon saiu do quarto para pegar a comida e não disse mais nada, preferindo deixar a carta nas mãos de Arya, para que ela visse com seus próprios olhos.
Ele fechou a porta do quarto mais uma vez e colocou a comida sobre a escrivaninha, enquanto Arya encarava a carta ainda perplexa. Jon não se deu ao trabalho de comentar o que estava escrito ali, apenas se sentou e começou a comer um pedaço de pão mergulhado em sopa de galinha.
- É verdade? – ela perguntou quase sem fôlego.
- Aparentemente sim. – Jon respondeu deixando – Aemon foi informado do que está acontecendo. Umber mandou um telegrama assim que saímos de New Hampshire. Devia comer enquanto ainda está quente. Não quero que fique doente na metade do caminho.
Arya concordou com um aceno de cabeça e se sentou junto dele para comer, apesar de não ter estômago pra mais nada. Suas mãos tremiam de leve enquanto sua mente vagava. Jon falava como se o pai dela fosse um caso perdido e por mais que ela não quisesse acreditar naquilo, não havia como negar que Ned Stark corria um grande risco.
Ela lançou a ele um olhar furtivo, como se não soubesse o que pensar. Ele ainda parecia o mesmo Jon de sempre, que brincava com ela quando criança e lhe ensinava a atirar escondido durante as férias de escola, quando a mãe dela insistia em dizer que era mais útil para uma moça de família aprender a tocar piano. Jon deixou o garfo de lado para segurar a mão dela num gesto de incentivo. Ao menos ela se sentia grata por estar com ele e não com outro dos irmãos. Jon conseguia mantê-la calma, mesmo quando o mundo estava desmoronando.
_**What am I supposed to do with these clothes?**__**
**__**It's my twisted way of keeping you close**__**
**__**I'm a nervous wreck, I'm a broken man**__**
**__**Did you get my message, did it send,**__**
**__**Or do you get along on your own?**_
- Ei. – ele disse acariciando o rosto dela – Não precisa ficar assim. Nós vamos ficar bem.
- Nós dois sabemos que as chances do meu pai são pequenas. – ela disse encostando a cabeça contra o ombro dele.
- Seu pai é Eddard Stark. O homem é um iceberg, ele teria derrubado o Titanic se tivesse tido a chance de tentar. Ele vai se safar. – ele disse, mesmo que Arya conhecesse a voz dele bem o bastante para saber que aquelas eram palavras vazias.
- Você não é mais meu irmão. – a voz dela saiu num fiapo de voz, como se aquela informação a tivesse desestabilizado muito mais do que as notícias a respeito do estado de saúde do pai. Jon a abraçou forte e beijou sua testa.
- Isso não muda as coisas. – ele disse – Eu era um capanga do seu pai, agora vou ser um capanga do meu tio avô. Sou o mesmo Jon de sempre. O mesmo bastardo miserável de sempre.
- Contanto que você continue sendo o meu bastardo miserável, eu não me importo. – ela disse baixinho.
- Melhor ir pra cama. Vamos sair bem cedo amanhã. – ele disse contra o cabelo dela.
Arya concordou com um aceno de cabeça. Ela se afastou para verificar se havia algo que ela pudesse usar para dormir dentro de uma das malas. Conseguiu encontrar uma camisola velha e foi até o banheiro se trocar.
Quando ela voltou Jon estava sentado numa cadeira escorada na parede, sem paletó e colete, com os suspensórios baixos, enquanto fumava um cigarro. Ela achava que ele tinha parado de fumar a seis meses atrás, mas uma recaída naquelas condições já era algo esperado. Jon apagou o cigarro assim que a viu, mas se encarregou de esvaziar a garrafinha de uísque.
Havia círculos escuros ao redor dos olhos dele e seu rosto parecia ter envelhecido cinco anos em cinco dias. Jon não costumava demonstrar suas preocupações, ao menos não para ela. Arya suspeitava que talvez Robb fizesse um trabalho melhor tentando mantê-lo otimista, mas naqueles condições otimismo estava tão em falta quanto o gim.
Ele sorriu para ela um sorriso de encorajamento. Arya se escondeu debaixo das cobertas e ficou encarando-o por um tempo, imaginando se ele pretendia ou não dormir naquela noite. Uma cadeira escorada contra a parede não parecia uma opção muito confortável.
- Não vem dormir? – ela perguntou por fim.
- Vou dormir aqui. Pode ficar com a cama pra você. – ele disse tentando parecer simpático, mas tudo o que conseguiu foi deixá-la contrariada.
- Bobagem. Vem pra cama. Precisa estar descansado pra dirigir amanhã. – ela disse séria, num tom mandão e extremamente familiar.
- Babe, não seria apropriado. – ele respondeu sorrindo pra ela num esforço de encerrar aquele tópico.
- O que não seria apropriado? – ela perguntou em tom de desafio, o mesmo tom que ele nunca conseguiu ignorar – Afinal, você é meu "marido", não é?
- Coisinha traiçoeira. É o que você é. – ele disse rindo. Jon se levantou da cadeira e foi até ela. Ele retirou os sapatos e a camisa, deitando de costas na cama e encarando o teto.
- Bom menino. – ela disse, beijando a bochecha dele em seguida. – Durma bem.
- Você também, babe. – ele respondeu fechando os olhos.
Sorrateira como um felino, Arya acabou deitando sobre o peito dele e dormiu sentindo o cheiro de tabaco e álcool, além do cheiro dele, que trazia algo de selvagem e rústico.
O sono dele, por outro lado, estava longe de ser calmo. Não conseguiu dormir mais do que uma hora ininterrupta. Todo tipo de som estranho que ouvia era uma razão para levar a mão à arma. Ele só precisava chegar até a Flórida e deixar Arya a salvo. Depois disso ele já não se importava com seu próprio destino.
_**I've taken time and thinking I don't think it's fair for us**__**
**__**To turn around and say goodbye**__**
**__**I have this feeling and I've finally found the words to say**__**
**__**But I can't tell you if you turn around and run away,**__**
**__**Run away**_
O sol ainda não havia nascido quando eles deixaram aquela espelunca. Arya havia tentado trançar o cabelo às pressas, sem grande sucesso. Na noite anterior ela se passou por uma moça de boa família, mas agora era mais provável que alguém a confundisse com uma mendiga. Precisariam fazer alguma coisa com a aparência dela antes que parassem para comer, ou descansar.
Ela agora observava a paisagem através do vidro. O dia era frio e Arya estava encolhida debaixo de um casaco de pele. Em breve os Lannister perceberiam que os Stark haviam sido separados e a busca pelos mais novos começaria. Jon não tinha qualquer motivo para acreditar que eles respeitariam Sansa, ou mesmo deixariam Bran e Rickon em paz. Um frio percorreu a espinha dele ao imaginar o que poderiam fazer com Arya.
Pararam por volta de meio dia em uma cidadezinha no meio do nada. Arya entrou em uma loja de roupas para comprar algumas. Jon a esperou num restaurante do outro lado da rua, mas acabou perdendo a paciência diante da demora dela. Jon saiu do restaurante e foi até a loja para procurá-la.
Chegando lá não havia ninguém além da vendedora. Uma garota magrela e sardenta, que tremia do outro lado do balcão. Ao avistar Jon ela se limitou a dizer que a esposa dele havia saído quinze minutos atrás.
- Aonde ela foi? – Jon perguntou avançando em direção a garota.
- Ao salão, senhor. Ela perguntou se havia um salão na cidade e eu indiquei a direção. – a menina respondeu acuada.
- Então vai me dizer a direção também. – ele rosnou.
- Vire a direita na próxima esquina. É a quarta loja. – a menina respondeu e Jon saiu, sem uma palavra de agradecimento.
Involuntariamente ele levou a mão à arma em sua cintura. Arya devia estar louca pra pensar que aquele era um bom momento para arrumar o cabelo. Ele rangeu os dentes e respirou fundo, fazendo suas narinas dilatarem.
Quando chegou ao salão não havia nenhum cliente além de um garoto, terminando de aparar a nuca. Jon olhou em volta, esperando por uma aparição mágica dela, mas não havia mais ninguém. Ótimo, menos de vinte e quatro horas e ele já havia perdido Arya.
- Pronto, madame. É a última moda em Paris, pelo que ouvi falar. – o cabeleireiro disse. Jon deu um sobressalto ao ouvir uma voz feminina familiar agradecer – E quanto ao senhor. Veio aqui para aparar o cabelo, ou fazer a barba?
- Nem uma coisa nem outra. Estou procurando minha mulher. – Jon retrucou mal humorado.
- Bem na hora. Eu disse, meu marido não sabe ficar um minuto sem mim. – a voz feminina disse mais uma vez – O que acha, babe? Gostou do meu cabelo?
Ele precisou de um momento para assimilar as coisas. Havia longas mechas de cabelo escuro caídas no chão ao redor da cadeira onde o único cliente estava sentado. O cabeleireiro espanou a nuca a mostra e Jon reparou que aquele era um pescoço delicado de mais para ser o de um rapaz. A cadeira girou e ele deu de cara com Arya.
Jon tentou não parecer desapontado, mas a verdade é que ele não conseguia entender o que ela havia feito, ou o porque ela havia feito. Por um momento ele quis gritar com o homem que havia cortado o cabelo dela e mandar que ele colocasse cada fio de volta, mas aquilo seria inútil. Ele sorriu e elogiou pelo bem das aparências. Arya pagou pelo corte e os dois saíram do salão de mãos dadas.
Foram para o restaurante e comeram às pressas. Não chegaram a ficar meia hora no lugar. Pegaram suas coisas e voltaram pra estrada. Durante este tempo, Jon não disse coisa alguma até estarem a pelo menos quinhentos metros da cidade.
_**It breaks me down when I see your face
You look so different but you feel the same
And I do not understand, I cannot comprehend
The chills your body sends
Why did it have to end?**_
_**I've taken time and thinking I don't think it's fair for us
To turn around and say goodbye
I have this feeling and I've finally found the words to say
But I can't tell you if you turn around and run away,
Run away**_
- Por que diabos você fez isso? – ele perguntou mal humorado, enquanto lançava a ela um olhar de puro desagrado.
- Pra evitar que nos reconheçam até chegarmos à Flórida. – ela disse calma – Não fique me olhando assim. Era só cabelo.
- Era o seu cabelo. – ele resmungou. Agora ele mais parecia uma criança fazendo birra, mas o olhar de desapontamento quase a fez se arrepender – Eu adorava o seu cabelo.
Arya levou a mão à nuca dele e acariciou seus cabelos. Jon relaxou os ombros em resposta, mas o rosto continuava cheio daquela indignação infantil. Ele sempre foi o protetor dela, mesmo quando isso significava bater de frente com Robb, ou com o próprio pai dela. Doía vê-lo tão magoado por uma coisa tão boba. Cabelo podia crescer em alguns meses e ela achava a sensação de ter a cabeça mais leve muito agradável. Talvez ele só precisasse de tempo para se adaptar.
- Não fica assim, por favor. Em alguns meses vai ter crescido de novo. – ela disse – Além disso, vai ser mais prático assim. Todos esperam que Arya Stark tenha cabelo longo e escuro e use roupas caras. Nós dois poderíamos ser descobertos facilmente. Com o cabelo assim posso até me passar por um homem, se for preciso.
- Uma coisa de cada vez. Ainda estou tentando assimilar a história do cabelo, não sei se quero pensar em você vestindo minhas calças ainda. – ele resmungou mais uma vez e ela riu.
- Você se apega a coisas tão bobas. – ela comentou.
- Prefiro mulheres que parecem mulheres. É mais fácil de reconhecer meu alvo. – ele disse ainda mal humorado, sem tirar os olhos da estrada.
- Não que eu seja um alvo em potencial. – ela disse baixinho.
Eles não tiveram notícias de Ned Stark durante a viagem, tão pouco conseguiram entrar em contato com Robb. A noite caiu e eles tiveram problemas em encontrar um lugar pra dormir.
Jon continuou dirigindo, mesmo quando a estrada já estava escura. Ela podia sentir a ansiedade dele. O carro começou a fazer um barulho estranho, mas eles conseguiram encontrar uma cidade no meio do caminho. Mais um hotel vagabundo, cheirando a mofo e sem aquecimento, o que fazia os ossos dela trincarem de frio.
Arya subiu para o quarto enquanto Jon dava uma olhada no motor. Com sorte conseguiriam chegar até New York no dia seguinte. De lá pegariam um trem e evitariam problemas com a estrada.
Quando chegou ao quarto, ela continuava com aquela obsessão de se passar por homem. Arya tentava dar um nó na gravata, sem obter sucesso. O cabelo curto estava todo puxado para trás e seu peito estava achatado por bandagens encobertas pela camisa. Ele tinha que admitir que era um disfarce melhor do que se passarem por recém casados. Ao menos eles eram parecidos o bastante para se passarem por irmãos, mas Jon ainda não estava preparado para ignorar seu ressentimento pelo cabelo dela.
Arya desistiu da gravata e olhou para ele. Quando ela o olhava daquela maneira todo disfarce ia por água abaixo. Seus cílios longos, o formado de seus olhos, a boca, tudo denunciava seu sexo e aquelas roupas, por incrível que pareça, tornavam-na estranhamente atraente. Ela se parecia com uma daquelas dançarinas do clube que ele, Robb e Theon frequentavam às vezes.
- Como estou? – ela perguntou.
- Convincente, contanto que fique de boca fechada. – Jon disse deixando a sacola sobre uma cadeira, junto com o paletó e o colete. Ele abaixou os suspensórios e começou a desfazer o nó da gravata.
Ele caminhou até ela e levou a mão aos seus cabelos curtos. Tentou não parecer tão contrariado, mas aquela era uma perda difícil de superar. Ele sempre gostou de bagunçar o cabelo dela e agora parecia não ter mais graça. Arya deitou a cabeça na palma da mão dele, permitindo que Jon acariciasse deu rosto.
- Ainda está bravo comigo? – ela perguntou.
- Não estou bravo, só...Eu vou sentir falta de passar a mão pelo seu cabelo. – ele disse. Arya o abraçou pela cintura.
Jon fechou os olhos e se deixou abraçar por ela. Arya tinha esse dom de penetrar a pele dele, sussurrar meia dúzia de palavras doces ou ácidas e ainda conseguir fazê-lo se sentir em paz. Ele se perguntava se Nedd Stark o incumbiu de protegê-la porque de algum modo Arya o impedia de tomar decisões estúpidas, ou agir de forma impensada. Nenhum dos dois era dado à um temperamento equilibrado e sereno, mas quando estavam juntos as coisas pareciam se encaixar e os ânimos eram suavizados.
Ele só queria chegar logo à Flórida. Queria poder fazer alguma coisa para acabar com os Lannister e depois dizer a Arya que ela poderia voltar pra casa. Ele faria o seu melhor para conseguir isso, mesmo que significasse se aliar a uma família que ele nunca conheceu e tão pouco tinha qualquer simpatia. Ele faria qualquer coisa por ela.
_**I've taken time and thinking I don't think it's fair for us
To turn around and say goodbye
I have this feeling and I've finally found the words to say
But I can't tell you if you turn around and run away,
Run away**_
_**Run away, run away (runaway)
Turn around and run away, run away (runaway)
Run away, run away (runaway)
But I can't tell you if you run away, run away (runaway)
Turn around and run away, run away (runaway)**_
_**Nota da autora: E as ideias mais inusitadas surgem nas madrugadas insones, na companhia de amigas tão fanáticas quanto eu. Pois é, eu queria escrever outra AU e meu plano inicial era transformar os Stark numa família mafiosa moderna, mas...Quem precisa de máfia moderna quando vc pode simplesmente falar dos adoráveis anos 20 e da Lei Seca nos EUA?! Confesso que a ideia de Jon usando suspensório e colete tmbm tem seu mérito. É uma guerra de gangues ou famílias, que não se restringe a uma cidade, na verdade tem proporções bem maiores. Vai ser difícil trabalhar isso, mas vamos ver no que vai dar. Espero que gostem e comentem.**_
_**Bju**_
_**Bee**_
2. Chapter 2
_**I was five and he was six**__**
**__**We rode on horses made of sticks**__**
**__**He wore black and I wore white**__**
**__**He would always win the fight**_
A fumaça começou a escapar pelo capô do carro. O motor aguentou o bastante até eles chegarem a New York, mas não o bastante para levá-los até a Estação Central. Arya havia se vestido como um rapazinho e agora eles se passavam por irmãos. A imagem ainda não o agradava, mas ele tinha que admitir que eles conseguiriam passar despercebidos com mais facilidade. Aquela cidade era como um campo minado.
Ele comprou as passagens. O trem só sairia de madrugada e eles tinham tempo de sobra para comer alguma coisa e tentar saber notícias de casa. Ele acendeu um cigarro e fez sinal para que ela o acompanhasse.
Se sentaram num café, após comprarem um jornal de um garoto no meio da rua. Jon começou a ler assim que o pedido deles foi servido. Arya comia em silêncio, observando algumas manchetes pelo canto do olho. Havia notícias de mais mortes e tiroteios no território do pai dela, mas nada falando sobre os Bolton, ou sobre o próprio Eddard Stark.
Aparentemente Lancel Lannister havia sido baleado num confronto direto, defendendo o tio, Tywin. Jaime Lannister era o maior problema. Ele estava causando uma comoção séria no território Stark junto com alguns homens bem treinados. Aquela era a guarda real de Tywin Lannister tentando garantir o controle de Jeoffrey sobre os negócios com os escoceses e um porto seguro para desembarcar a mercadoria.
_**Bang bang, he shot me down**__**
**__**Bang bang, I hit the ground**__**
**__**Bang bang, that awful sound**__**
**__**Bang bang, my baby shot me down**_
Jon resmungou deixando o jornal de lado e colocando uma dose de uísque no café. Arya mastigava seus ovos como se fossem feitos de borracha. Ficar em New Yorke era algo que não agradava nenhum dos dois. Uma cidade muito grande, com muita gente disposta a vender informação. Qualquer membro de uma família menor poderia se sentir tentado a vender informações sobre o paradeiro de Arya Stark.
- O que vamos fazer agora? – ela perguntou baixo para que ninguém ao redor notasse sua voz feminina. Jon se mexeu desconfortável na cadeira.
- Eu devia estar lá. Poderia fazer alguma coisa pra parar aquele desgraçado. – Jon resmungou – Jaime...Alguns homens apenas não tem honra ou limites. Os capangas dele não são muito melhores, se quer saber.
- O que está acontecendo? – ela continuou com o interrogatório.
- Mataram os garotos Karstark. – Jon disse num tom grave – Eles tinham o que? Catorze, quinze anos? Mais novos que Bran. Estavam voltando pra casa depois de terem ido no cinema com suas garotas. O velho Ricky deve estar louco a uma hora dessas.
- Isso pode ser um problema? – Arya perguntou. Jon deu de ombros.
- Robb vai ter que lidar com isso. O homem trabalha pro seu pai desde...Sempre! O problema será se o velho decidir resolver isso por conta própria e ignorar a posição que estamos. Homens desesperados, são homens perigosos. Ele não tem muito a perder agora. – Jon se esforçou para sorrir e parecer um pouco menos preocupado, pelo bem da paz de espírito dela.
Arya podia ter uma boa noção do que se passava naquele mundo, mas definitivamente não precisava ser arrastada para dentro dele. Não. Ela merecia ter sua ingenuidade preservada e viver sem aquele tipo de preocupação. Se Ned Stark soubesse o quanto Jon havia compartilhado com ela ao logo dos anos em seus momentos de estresse, provavelmente já teria dado um jeito de mandá-lo pra longe.
Ela esperta e curiosa de mais para seu próprio bem. Mais habilidosa com uma pistola do que metade dos homens que trabalhavam para os Stark e até mesmo melhor do que Bran na pontaria. Mesmo assim, ela era uma garota e não merecia se envolver naquela carnificina. Eles cuidavam do banho de sangue para garantir que as mulheres fossem felizes e vivessem em segurança. Com ela não seria diferente.
- Me espere aqui. – ele disse calmo – Vou ver se consigo ligar pra alguém e saber o que diabos está acontecendo em Winterfell.
Arya concordou enquanto Jon saia da mesa para perguntar ao atendente onde havia um telefone que ele pudesse usar. Com Arya disfarçada ele se sentia um pouco mais confortável para perdê-la de vista por alguns minutos, mesmo que isso não fosse aconselhável.
Ele entrou na pequena cabine telefônica. Quando a telefonista atendeu ele indicou o número do telefone e aguardou sentado enquanto a ligação era concluída. Toda aquela história de telefone podia ser prática, mas ele gostaria que ao menos naquela situação a coisa toda fosse mais rápida. Dez minutos depois ele ouviu a voz familiar de Robb do outro lado da linha.
- Achei que estivesse com os meninos. – Jon comentou imediatamente.
- Eles foram com Hodor para o Canadá. Tio Bem está esperando por eles. – Robb respondeu – Está tudo bem por ai? – ele perguntou afobado – Como Arya está?
- O carro quebrou, vamos ter que seguir de trem. – Jon respondeu – Ela está bem. Tem um senso prático pra lidar com situações de crise que me assusta.
- Se ela fosse homem eu me preocuparia. Deus sabe que ela não teria dó nenhuma de roubar meu lugar. – Robb tentou parecer despreocupado – As coisas estão ficando sangrentas por aqui. Jaime Lannister está nos dando muito prejuízo com seus ataques aos comboios. Há uma carga grande chegando e nós precisamos entregar a mercadoria com urgência, mas como vou conseguir fazer isso com aquele desgraçado nos meus calcanhares?
- Espelho e fumaça. – Jon disse as pressas – Seja descuidado e espalhe o boato de que vai dividir o carregamento e cada um dos comboios vai tomar uma rota diferente. Esses desgraçados são gananciosos, vão querer roubar tudo. Ele vai separar o grupo dele pra tentar nos roubar. O único problema é que quando ele atacar os comboios não vai haver bebida e sim uma meia dúzia dos nossos rapazes armados até os dentes.
- Ando conversando bastante com Arya pelo que eu estou vendo. – Robb disse – É uma boa solução. Se conseguirmos o desgraçado...
- Se conseguirmos o desgraçado, a vida dele vai valer a vida do seu pai. É uma boa moeda de troca e Tywin Lannister não vai querer o menino de ouro dele com um dedo ou dois a menos. – Jon disse sério.
- Depois da morte dos garotos Karstark, uma mão a menos ficaria bem com aquele cabelo loiro. – Robb resmungou – Ricky está descontrolado.
- Imaginei que ficaria, mas você tem que mostrar quem dá as ordens, Robb. Você é o Don enquanto seu pai está fora de combate. – Jon retrucou – Eu tenho que ir. Não posso deixar aquela garota sozinha sem que ela arrume problemas.
- Cuida bem dela e se cuide também. Nos veremos quando tudo terminar. – Robb disse sério – E não importa o que digam, Jon. Você sempre vai ser meu irmão.
- É bom ouvir isso. Se cuide também. – ele disse antes de desligar.
_**Seasons came and changed the time**__**
**__**When I grew up I called him mine**__**
**__**He would always laugh and say**__**
**__**"Remember when we used to play**_
Quando voltou pra mesa Arya já tinha terminado de comer. Eles teriam de arranjar algo pra fazer até a hora de embarcar no trem.
Arya estava mais calada do que o normal para manter o disfarce. Ele sentiu falta de dar a mão para ela, ou passar seus braços ao redor dos ombros dela e caminharem juntos como um...Era melhor evitar aquele tipo de pensamento inadequado. Ela era irmã dele, ou ao menos era o que ele acreditou durante uma vida inteira. Eles não eram um casal. Jamais seriam um casal.
Acabaram sentando num bar para beber alguma coisa. Arya estava acostumada ao champanhe servido nas festas do pai, ou um pouco de vinho, mas preferiu não beber nada naquele lugar. Jon pediu uísque. Um longo gole desceu queimando pela garganta. Arya apenas o encarava, distante e solene como eram todos os Stark. Jon bebeu mais um gole e desta vez havia alguém tocando piano no fundo do bar. Ele parou para ouvir a musica e num momento de distração Arya roubou seu copo e bebeu um gole.
Ele riu e tentou acertar um tapa na cabeça dela, pelo bem do disfarce. Ela apenas lançava a ele um sorriso zombeteiro enquanto bebia mais um gole.
- Se seu pai sonhar com isso sou um homem morto. – Jon disse um pouco mais calmo – Daqui a pouco temos que voltar pra estação. Há alguma coisa que precisamos comprar antes de ir? – ela acenou a cabeça negativamente. Seu rosto parecia mais preocupado do que o normal – Algum problema?
- Tem um homem no fundo do bar, ele está olhando pra cá já faz tem. Acho que o conheço. – ela disse usando um tom grave para disfarçar sua voz.
- Quem? – Jon perguntou tentando não parecer alarmado.
- Era a babá daquele cretino do Joffrey. O Cão de Caça. – ela disse.
- Aquele cachorro louco? – Jon pareceu surpreso – Vou pagar a conta e vamos sair daqui como se nada estivesse errado. Somos só dois músicos voltando pra casa e estamos atrasados para pegar um trem. Entendido? – Arya concordou com um aceno de cabeça.
Jon pagou a conta e os dois saíram do bar sem pressa. Pegaram um taxi para a Estação Central, tomando o cuidado de verificar se não estavam sendo seguidos. Arya respirou um pouco mais aliviada enquanto Jon mantinha a vigilância.
A estação estava consideravelmente vazia naquele dia. As poucas pessoas que aguardavam os trens da noite se agarravam aos seus casacos graças ao frio. Em meia hora o trem chegaria à plataforma e tudo parecia tranquilo ali.
Jon disse que iria ao banheiro. Antes de ir ele disse para que ela tomasse cuidado e mantivesse a pistola por perto. Arya concordou com um aceno de cabeça enquanto esperava pela volta dele. Ela gostaria de ir ao banheiro também, mas vestida de homem seria um problema. Talvez ela tivesse sorte e o local estivesse vazio.
Ela se aproximou do banheiro feminino para verificar se havia alguém por perto. Olhou em volta e a plataforma estava enfumaçada, mas quase deserta. Até mesmo os carregadores e demais funcionários pareciam ter abandonado o lugar para se esconderem dentro de salas mais quentes e acolhedoras.
- Em duvida? – a voz rouca e estranha pergunto, fazendo com que Arya se assustasse e virasse para ver quem era.
_**Bang bang, I shot you down**__**
**__**Bang bang, you hit the ground**__**
**__**Bang bang, that awful sound**__**
**__**Bang bang, I used to shoot you down"**_
O rosto deformado era familiar. Dificilmente alguém conseguiria se esquecer da cara de Clegane, ou Cão de Caça, como preferiam chamá-lo. Um homem de altura assombrosa que tinha a metade do rosto queimado, tornando-o uma visão grotesca. Ele era um assassino dos bons, do tipo que os Lannister pagavam bem.
- Eu sabia. Eu nunca esqueço um rosto. – ele disse parecendo satisfeito – Você é a cadelinha Stark. A pirralha irritante. – ele disse se aproximando dela de forma ameaçadora – Não adianta ficar muda, sei muito bem que não é um menino apesar de parecer com um. Tywin Lannister vai me pagar bem por levar você pra ele, cadela. É capaz até de me aceitar de volta na Califórnia.
Ele a agarrou pelo braço direito e puxou com força. Ela permaneceu onde estava, lutando para não ser arrastada por ele. Clegane a puxou com mais força.
- Vadia desgraçada, você vem comigo de um jeito ou de outro! – ele rosnou. Num movimento rápido Arya sacou a arma com sua mão esquerda, engatilhando e apontando imediatamente para a cabeça de Sandor Clegane.
- Eu não vou a lugar nenhum, desgraçado! – um tiro. Foi tudo o que ela precisou.
O som ecoou pelo lugar, assustando as poucas pessoas presentes no lugar. Arya abaixou a cabeça e saiu correndo o mais rápido que pode, se escondendo dentro do banheiro feminino, que por sorte estava vazio.
Havia sangue em suas roupas, e o cadáver de Clegane estava caído a alguns metros da porta de onde ela estava. Arya lavou o rosto e as mãos rapidamente. Retirou a roupa masculina e pegou um vestido mais fino dentro da sacola que carregava. Ela trocou de roupa em questão de segundos, arrumou o cabelo para que parecesse mais feminino, colocou luvas, um casaco de pele por cima de tudo. Se houvesse ao menos um pouco de maquiagem para colorir os lábios teria funcionado melhor. Ela colocou a aliança falsa no dedo e brincos nas orelhas.
Quando saiu do banheiro pessoas se aglomeravam ao redor do cadáver. Por sorte ninguém a viu entrar dentro do banheiro. Jon a avistou imediatamente, indo até ela com o rosto lívido de pavor.
Ao passar ao lado do cadáver de Clegane ela deixou escapar um gritinho agudo, antes de pender o corpo para o lado, como se estivesse a ponto de desmaiar. Jon veio de encontro a ela, amparando-a em seus braços.
- Babe, você está bem? Querida, fale comigo! – ele disse afoito. O trem deles já havia sido anunciado e o condutor fazia a chamada de embarque – Vamos dar o fora daqui o mais rápido possível, finja que está tendo uma crise.
Arya obedeceu, andando de forma desengonçada e fingindo estar trêmula e apavorada de mais para conseguir falar. Jon a conduziu para dentro do trem, fechando a porta da cabine o mais rápido possível. Um dos funcionários os abordou pouco depois, perguntando se a senhora estava bem.
- Uma coisa horrível. Ela tem pavor de sangue, está a ponto de desmaiar. – Jon respondeu – Se nos der licença, minha esposa precisa se acalmar. Mandarei chamar se acontecer alguma coisa.
O homem concordou e deixou a cabine em seguida. Arya estava sentada, de forma descuidada, como se tivesse desfalecido. Jon se sentou de frente para ela e esperou até que ela se sentisse segura para apara de fingir.
_**Music played and all people sang
Just for me the church bells rang**_
_**Now he's gone I dont know why
Until this day, sometimes I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie**_
- O que diabos aconteceu lá, Arya? – ele perguntou afoito. Ela respirou fundo e suas mãos estavam de fato trêmulas.
- Sandor Clegane. O maldito Cão de Caça me reconheceu. Ele estava tentando me arrastar para fora da estação e me levar até Tywin Lannister. – ela disse tentando manter a calma – Eu fiquei apavorada e atirei nele.
- Pelo menos foi esperta e fez isso com classe. Um tiro entre os olhos. – Jon disse incrédulo – Uma morte limpa.
- Por favor, sem brincadeiras agora. Ainda estou apavorada. E se alguém tiver me visto? – ela disse.
- As pessoas próximas disseram não ter visto quem atirou. Você foi rápida como um raio. – ele disse – E trocar de roupa foi uma boa ideia. O que fez com as outras?
- Joguei fora. – ela disse – Se tivesse tempo eu as teria queimado.
- Vai ficar tudo bem. – ele disse sentando-se ao lado dela e passando o braço ao redor de seus ombros para que Arya escorasse a cabeça contra o peito dele – Está mais calma agora?
- Claro que não. Eu matei um homem, Jon. – ela disse num tom baixo e urgente.
- Eu esperava que você nunca precisasse chegar a este ponto, mas admito que é um risco que você corre. – ele respondeu beijando a testa dela – Por mim você viveria sua vida tranquila numa casa chique e nunca teria de se preocupar com nada disso. Este é um negócio sangrento, babe.
- Em suma você queria que eu vivesse a vida da minha mãe, ou que fosse mais como Sansa. – ela resmungou.
- Não me entenda mal. Eu só queria que houvesse um modo de você não ter que passar por tudo isso. – Jon disse exausto – Agora tente ficar calma. Vai ficar tudo bem.
- Conseguiu falar com Robb mais cedo? – ela perguntou enquanto relaxava aos poucos nos braços dele.
- Consegui. Rickon e Bran estão indo pro Canadá com Hodor. – Jon disse – As coisas por lá estão complicadas por causa de Ricky Karstark. Mas não se preocupe, babe. Robb sabe se virar.
- Espero que sim. – Arya respondeu – Estou feliz que seja você quem está do meu lado. Não sei se...Não sei se conseguiria ficar bem depois disso se fosse Robb aqui.
Jon beijou o rosto dela e a acariciou em seguida. Arya vulnerável era algo estranho de imaginar e entender. Ela era sempre tão forte e inabalável, como uma rocha. Vê-la daquela forma era como vê-la nua. Como se pela primeira vez ele pudesse de fato ver e tocar a verdadeira Arya.
- Vai ficar tudo bem. – ele disse mais uma vez – E eu estou feliz de poder ficar perto de você. Seria muito chato tomar conta da Sansa.
- Nisso eu concordo. – ela disse – O que eu fiz...Jon, isso me torna uma pessoa horrível? Eu não...Eu não queria precisar fazer aquilo.
- Somos todos horríveis quando nos deixamos levar pelos negócios da família. – ele disse sério – Você me acha horrível, babe? – ele perguntou em tom grave. Arya se endireitou no assento para poder encará-lo.
- É claro que não. – ela disse imediatamente. Jon deixou escapar um sorriso fraco.
- Matei mais pessoas do que gostaria de admitir. Algumas porque estava seguindo ordens e outras por vontade. – ele disse sério e melancólico – Se você é horrível por matar aquela cachorro louco, eu sou o próprio diabo.
- Não diga essas coisas. – ela disse aproximando o rosto do dele – Você não é um monstro. Um bastardo insensível quando quer, mas não um monstro. Eu não me sentiria tão bem dormindo do lado de um monstro, me sentiria?
- Há mulheres que gostam da ideia. – ele disse jogando a cabeça pra trás – Algumas chegam a achar que homens como eu tem cura e merecem uma chance de redenção. O que você acha?
- Redenção significar que você teria de mudar pra se tornar uma pessoa melhor. – ela disse – Eu não mudaria nada em você.
- E eu te amo por isso. – ele disse rindo baixo. Arya inclinou o rosto e deixou que seus lábios roçassem contra os dele de leve. Jon chegou a fechar os olhos, sentindo-se inundado por uma sensação de incredulidade e deslumbramento.
Uma parte dele desejou que aquele beijo fosse mais desinibido. Que os lábios dela estivessem abertos, esperando pela língua dele. Jon ficou imóvel, com medo de que um movimento mais ousado a afastasse de uma vez por todas. Pelo amor de Deus, eles cresceram como irmãos. Ele não devia se sentir tão fascinado quanto no dia em que foi pra cama com aquela dançarina ruiva.
Suas mãos inquietas podiam antecipar a sensação de trazê-la pra perto e tocar a pele expostas. Sua boca ansiava pelo gosto dela e tudo aquilo era perturbador de mais para se colocar em palavras.
Ele não sabia dizer desde quando esses sentimentos estavam dentro dele, ou porque ele subitamente desejava que Arya fosse mais do que uma missão. Ele queria que ela fosse mais, mas não sabia exatamente o que. Provavelmente algo que explicaria aquela mania irritante de buscar por ela na cama inconscientemente, quando os dois já estavam adormecidos. Ou a sensação de inquietude de quando ela lhe roubava o copo. Ou mesmo a vulnerabilidade dele diante do toque mais inocente dela.
O trem começou a se mover e Arya se afastou dele, voltando a deitar sua cabeça contra o ombro de Jon. O coração dele estava acelerado e suas mãos suavam. Ela era uma criança, não sabia o que estava fazendo. Ou talvez soubesse e isso a tornaria a pessoa mais cruel do mundo. Jon respirou fundo e jogou a cabeça pra trás. Precisavam chegar logo na Flórida, pelo bem da sanidade dele.
_**Bang bang, he shot me down**__**
**__**Bang bang, I hit the ground**__**
**__**Bang bang, that awful sound**__**
**__**Bang bang, my baby shot me down**_
_**Nota da autora: Este capítulo saiu na velocidade da luz! Olha só como eu estou numa onda Tarantino colocando Bang Bang de trilha sonora do capítulo XP. Então, só um pequeno esclarecimento, não sei como funcionava direito a linha ferroviária nos USA durante as décadas de 20 e 30, na verdade há um gap na Wikipédia durante esse período, então estou usando uma licença poética aqui. Amantes do Hound, eu sei que vc's vão me odiar por isso, mas eu juro que não tinha a menor chance de surgir um SanSan nessa história, então não há grandes perdas. Usei o Hound pq pra mim ele é um personagem que se encaixa muito bem nesse contesto. Finalmente alguma insinuação maior, espero que não tenha ficado muito forçado. Tomara que gostem e comentem.**_
_**Bju**_
_**Bee**_
3. Chapter 3
_**When darkness falls**____**
**__**And surrounds you**__**
**__**When you fall down**__**
**__**When you're scared**____**
**__**And you're lost**_
A polícia procurava pelo assassino de Sandor Clegane, suspeitando que houvesse alguma relação com a guerra entre famílias da máfia. Todas as paradas que o trem fez ao longo do caminho, havia um policial fazendo uma vistoria e eventualmente questionando um ou outro passageiro.
Havia uma descrição do assassino. Um menino magrelo, não muito alto, com aproximadamente dezesseis anos. Ninguém viu o rosto do assassino e Jon era alto, forte e velho de mais para se encaixar na descrição. Quando o policial entrava dentro da cabine a única pergunta que fazia era a respeito da caixa de violino. Arya respondia que era dela.
Quem olhasse para ela veria uma moça sem grandes atrativos, mas de boa família e aparência, do tipo que aprende música, recita poesia e pinta aquarelas. Era uma jovem de quem nunca desconfiariam, porque não apresentava perigo algum. Uma magricela como aquela jamais conseguiria a proeza de matar Sandor Clegane.
Ela parecia mais feminina e delicada com o cabelo curto depois que Jon se acostumou com a visão. Ainda sentia falta de passar as mãos pelo cabelo dela e permitir que elas vagassem acidentalmente até as costas de Arya. Agora ele se contentava com a sensação de tocar a nuca exposta dela e sentir seu cheiro quando ela o abraçava.
Em breve eles chegariam à Flórida, mas desde o momento que alcançaram o território Targaryen, Jon já se sentia mais seguro. Ele recebeu um telegrama em uma das estações de parada. Daenerys Targaryen iria se casar com um cubano, dono de uma fortuna, que controlava boa parte dos cassinos da região. Os Targaryen em si se consideravam sortudos por controlarem os bordeis, cassinos e trafico de bebida. Quando Daenerys se casasse, eles teriam um verdadeiro monopólio.
O mínimo que ele e Arya poderiam fazer era assumir a posição de representantes da família Stark na ocasião. Chegariam na véspera do casamento e o evento estamparia todas as capas de jornal. Aquela ao menos seria uma boa oportunidade para causar uma boa impressão no velho Aemon e, quem sabe, conseguir a ajuda dos Targaryen para acabar de uma vez com essa guerra.
Arya estava ansiosa com a ideia e ele entendia o porque. Ela cresceu acreditando que Rhaegar Targaryen, havia raptado a tia dela, Lyanna. O rapto na época foi um escândalo para os Stark e uma questão de honra para Robert Baratheon, que era noivo de Lyanna. Ele jurou que mataria todos os Targaryen que conseguisse encontrar e de fato matou, o que incluía mulheres e crianças.
Não era um episódio que os Stark gostavam de comentar. Lyanna foi encontrada a beira da morte pelo irmão. Rhaegar havia sido assassinado por Robert de uma forma brutal, assim como Tywin Lannister havia cuidado de Elia e Rhaenys, esposa e filha de Rhaegar. Jon escapou do massacre por um milagre. Escapou porque Eddard Stark estava furioso com o comportamento selvagem de Robert e ao ver seu sobrinho recém-nascido assumiu-o como seu próprio filho bastardo. Uma mentira abençoada.
Jon era o filho de Rhaegar e Lyanna, o que em tese garantia a ele a proteção da família Targaryen, mas Arya não tinha qualquer razão para crer que seria bem vinda. Seu medo era que a semelhança entre ela e Lyanna servisse de desculpa para reavivar o ódio dos Targaryen de algum modo.
Jon não sabia o que esperar. Tudo o que ele queria era um lugar seguro para eles e um modo de ajudar Robb.
A medida que se aproximavam da Flórida o calor aumentava. Usar um terno já era quase insuportável e Jon só mantinha o traje completo quando ele e Arya iam até o vagão restaurante. Ela conseguiu comprar um pouco de maquiagem no meio do caminho, dando a ela um ar mais sofisticado, para distanciar sua imagem da imagem do garoto maltrapilho que cometeu um assassinato.
Aos olhos dos passageiros, eles eram um jovem casal em lua de mel. A história que inventaram desta vez era que Jon conseguido um emprego na área administrativa de uma empresa de construção, enquanto sua esposa tentaria dar aulas de violino em um conservatório de música. Ao menos Arya tinha conhecimento de música o bastante para discutir algumas óperas com algum passageiro mais curioso e Jon não precisava falar nada.
_**Be brave**__**
**__**I'm coming to hold you now**__**
**__**When all your strength has gone**__**
**__**And you feel wrong**__**
**__**Like your life has slipped away**__****_
_**Follow me**__**
**__**You can follow me**__**
**__**And I**__**
**__**I will not desert you now**_
Quando chegaram em Miami, onde os Targaryen mantinham sua principal residência, os dois se chocaram com o estado em que a cidade estava. Obviamente a quebra da bolsa havia torando tudo um misto de caos e miséria, mas além disso a cidade ainda se recuperava de um furacão que havia ocorrido três anos antes. Era sobre os cacos de uma cidade arruinada que os Targaryen se reestruturaram, se tornando mais perigosos do que haviam sido no passado, quando toda Flórida vivia uma década de fartura. Quando mais escombros, mais fácil a proliferação de ratos.
Eles desembarcaram na plataforma da estação, sem saber exatamente o que fazer em seguida. Mal haviam pegado a bagagem e foram abordados por um homem barbeado, com cabelo vermelho grisalho nas têmporas e aparência severa.
- Imagino que o clima seja muito quente para alguém do norte. – o homem disse, fazendo Jon levar a mão à pistola imediatamente e se colocar entre ele e Arya – Guarde seu fôlego, rapaz. Estou aqui pra levá-lo até seu avô.
- Eu não tenho avô. – Jon disse desconfiado. O homem riu.
- Graças a Deus você não tem. O velho Don era louco. – o homem riu um riso seco – Não, estou me referindo ao seu tio avô. Você pode até tentar me dizer que não é Jon "Snow", mas não tenho duvidas de que essa garota que você carrega é uma Stark. Ela é a cara da tia quando tinha essa idade.
- E quem é você? – Jon perguntou de forma ríspida.
- A boa e velha educação carrancuda dos Stark. – o homem disse mal humorado – Eu sou Jon Connington, mas pode me chamar de Grifo. Deus do céu, você não herdou nada de Rhaegar. É a cara da sua mãe.
- Não posso me defender quanto a isso. – Jon disse sério – Aemon quer nos receber?
- É claro que sim. Você é sobrinho neto dele, não é? E pelo que eu sei, esse é o único lugar seguro para um Stark se esconder nesse maldito país. Não se preocupe, garoto. O velho _consiglieri _não atira em gente do próprio sangue, nem ataca moças indefesas, ao contrário de gente que eu conheço. – ele disse de forma impertinente – Vamos logo com isso, não tenho o dia todo.
Jon concordou com um aceno de cabeça e Arya o seguiu até o carro que o Grifo dirigia. A cidade ainda estava se reconstruindo por causa do furacão, mas a Depressão tornava tudo muito lento. Algumas partes da cidade já estavam prontas e as mansões daqueles que tinham dinheiro o bastante para se reerguer em grande estilo contrastavam de forma dolorosa com a miséria dos que perderam tudo para a natureza e a economia.
A "Fortaleza Vermelha" era o nome que os Targaryen deram à sua residência oficial. Era uma casa erguida de forma rústica, lembrando um castelo medieval em pedra avermelhada. O portão de ferro negro se abriu, dando passagem para um jardim elegante, cheio de rosas vermelhas. Arya observava tudo sem se impressionar. Não era muito maior do que Winterfell, que resistia em New Hampshire desde muito antes da guerra de independência. Para Jon aquilo era uma razão para se sentir intimidado.
O carro parou em frente à propriedade. O sol era gentil, tornando o clima totalmente diferente daquele que estavam acostumados no Norte. Uma jovem usando vestido lilás e com longos cabelos loiros, quase prateados, presos em um penteado elegante, esperava por eles do lado de fora. Ela sorriu de forma gentil para Jon e Arya.
_**When your fire has died out**__**
**__**And no one's there**__**
**__**They have left you for dead**_
- Bem vindos. – ela disse de forma simpática – Eu sou Daenerys Targaryen.
- Eu vou chamar alguém pra levar as malas pros quartos de hospedes, vocês dois se divirtam com Danny. – Grifo disse mal humorado enquanto sumia pela porta de entrada. Daenerys lançou a ele um olhar de reprovação.
- Oh não se aborreçam com ele. Grifo consegue ser insuportável quando quer e eu nem imagino o porque ele está assim. – ela disse lançando a Jon e Arya um olhar significativo – Bem, ele era muito leal ao meu irmão, acho que nunca superou a morte dele de fato e você...Bem, vocês dois o fazem lembrar daquela época. Mas isso são águas passadas. Estamos felizes em tê-los aqui.
- Você é a minha...- Jon tentou pensar numa forma de dizer aquilo sem parecer ofensivo.
- Tia? – Danny riu – Sim, sim. Eu era um bebê quando Rhaegar morreu. Nós temos a mesma idade, sabia?
- Algo incomum. – Jon disse sério – Esta é minha prima, Arya. A filha mais nova de Eddard Stark.
- É um prazer conhecê-la. Adorei o seu corte de cabelo, querida. Muito moderno e sofisticado. – ela disse entusiasmada.
- Obrigada. Foi uma solução bem prática para a viagem. Infelizmente Jon ainda não está muito conformado com isso. Acho que ele tinha ciúme do meu cabelo. – Danny riu diante do comentário dela e Jon tentou não esboçar uma reação desagradável.
- Oh por favor, vamos entrar. Vou mandar prepararem um bom suco de laranja e café fresco. Aemon estava ansioso para recebê-los. – Danny disse conduzindo-os para dentro.
A casa era mais iluminada do que Jon esperava. Não era mais do que uma casa luxuosa para uma família abastada, mas pelo que diziam o nome de "Fortaleza" não foi obtido por acaso. O lugar era cheio de passagens de evacuação e seus guardas eram uma elite de atiradores e assassinos. Ninguém entrava, ou saía da Fortaleza Vermelha sem a permissão dos Targaryen e muita gente havia acrescentado tons de vermelho sangue àquelas salas.
Daenerys os levou a sala de visitas, onde foi servido suco, café e bolo de limão. Arya parecia confortável naquele ambiente, como se estivesse apenas desempenhando um papel em um das festas do chá que sua mãe costumava oferecer. Jon se sentiria muito mais confortável num escritório, com um charuto e uma dose de uísque. Só se sentiria a vontade de verdade quando encontrasse Aemon Targaryen para uma conversa séria.
Quando Daenerys voltou, ela estava empurrando uma cadeira de rodas, em que se sentava um senhor tão velho quanto as paredes de Winterfell. O homem tinha um aspecto frágil e doentio, seu cabelo era branco e ralo e seus olhos opacos. Ele devia ser quase cego. Jon se levantou e Arya fez o mesmo. O velho sorriu um sorrio satisfeito.
- Me perdoem por não levantar. Minhas pernas não aguentariam o esforço. – ele disse com sua voz rouca – Sente-se, aproveitem o café. Sou apenas um velho curioso.
- É mais do que isso, pelo que ouvi falar. – Jon disse sério – É um prazer conhecê-lo, senhor.
- Formal e sério...Depois dizem que não se parece em nada com seu pai. – o velho disse sorrindo – É como ouvir Rhaegar falando outra vez, mas seu rosto...Oh sim, os traços Stark estão todos ai. Muito dignos para um rapaz na flor da idade. É um prazer conhecê-lo, Jon. Ouvi grandes coisas a seu respeito.
- Estou certo de que meus feitos não foram tão grandiosos assim. – Jon disse de forma modesta.
- E esta deve ser a adorável Arya Stark. – Aemon disse – Seja bem vinda, querida.
- Obrigada. – Arya respondeu educadamente.
- Estou certo de que estão cientes de que nossa Danny vai ser casar esta semana. Será uma honra tê-los no casamento. Oh sim, será uma bela festa. – ele disse de forma satisfeita o que deixou Jon desconfortável – Uma benção, ter todos os meus sobrinhos de baixo deste teto.
- Isso tudo é ótimo, mas eu tenho assuntos mais urgentes a tratar com o senhor. – Jon interrompeu o velho homem de forma deselegante.
- Você tem a impaciência do seu irmão. – Aemon disse de forma séria – Tudo ao seu devido tempo, rapaz. Paciência é uma virtude e educação um bem valioso que eu acredito que Ned Stark tenha lhe dado. Não vou discutir negócios esta semana, ainda mais na frente das damas. Sinta-se em casa, aproveite a festa e quando for a hora eu o chamarei para falar de negócios. Se me dão licença, eu vou me deitar um pouco. Aegon deve chegar a qualquer momento, será bom para vocês conhecerem um ao outro. O jantar é servido as oito em ponto, por favor, não se atrasem.
Aemon saiu da sala, tendo sua cadeira de rodas empurrada por Daenerys. Arya não comentou nada, mas Jon sabia que aquele havia sido um mau começo. O velho queria esperar até depois do casamento. Ned Stark não tinha todo este tempo.
Uma empregada os conduziu até os quartos de hospedes para que descansassem até a hora do jantar. Dada às circunstâncias, as acomodações eram surpreendentemente confortáveis e bem mobiliadas. Nada naquela casa era modesto, tudo refletia a riqueza da família Targaryen. Jon se jogou na cama e fechou os olhos, tentando pensar em como deveria agir enquanto estivesse debaixo daquele teto.
_**Follow me**__**
**__**You can follow me**__**
**__**I will keep you safe**__****_
_**Follow me**__**
**__**You can follow me**__**
**__**I will protect you**_
Aquela não era a casa dele, mas Winterfell também não era. Ele não tinha um lar. Vivia da caridade de Ned Stark desde que nasceu e agora viveria da caridade de Aemon por pura falta de opção. Pra piorar havia arrastado Arya para aquele lugar. Ela devia estar tão perdida quanto ele.
Alguém bateu de leve na porta do quarto e ele disse para entrar. A porta se abriu e Arya entrou, silenciosa como um felino manso. Ele nem mesmo precisava se virar para saber que era ela. O som dos passos e o cheiro eram o bastante para que ele soubesse. Conhecia-os como a palma de sua mão desde que se entendia por gente.
Ela se deitou na cama ao lado dele. Jon se ajeitou na cama para passar o braço ao redor de seus ombros pequenos, num convite silencioso para que ela se aconchegasse junto dele. Arya não precisou de um segundo incentivo para fazer isso. Ela beijou o rosto dele e passou a mão pela barba por fazer.
- Como você está? – ela perguntou calmamente. Jon beijou o topo da cabeça dela.
- Vou ficar bem. Só estou frustrado com tudo isso. – ele disse sério – Me sentiria melhor se tivesse uma posição de Aemon a respeito do quanto eles estão dispostos a ajudar Robb e seu pai. Não sei nem mesmo dizer até quando vão nos oferecer sua hospitalidade. Contanto que garantam proteção a você eu estou bem. Se me disserem que você ficará segura aqui eu poderei voltar pro norte e ajudar Robb de alguma maneira. Pra falar a verdade, eu não sei o que eu estava esperando de tudo isso.
Ela se ajeitou entre os braços dele, a respiração era serena e o rosto dela tinha paz, como ele raramente via. Ele encostou a ponta do nariz no nariz dela, fazendo-a sorrir.
- Não temos opção se não esperar. – ela disse – Ele parecia feliz em te ver.
- Ele parecia feliz em brincar com a minha paciência. – Jon resmungou.
- Já parou pra pensar que Daenerys, Aegon e você são toda família que ele ainda tem? Ele deve estar satisfeito em conhecer você e a primeira coisa que você diz é que quer falar de negócios, o que nós dois sabemos o que significa. É obvio que ele se ressentiria com a sua sutileza. – ela retrucou.
- Não sei se percebeu, mas estou fazendo isso pra ajudar o seu pai. Nosso tempo é reduzido, Arya. – ele disse ansioso.
- Eu sei, mas eu também sei que não estou em posição de fazer exigências. – ela disse – Nós dois vamos ter que aceitar isso.
- E como você está? Eu quero dizer, isso aqui parece uma prisão e nós dois estamos pisando num campo minado. – Jon perguntou sem fazer questão de esconder sua preocupação. Ela ainda estava abalada por causa da morte do Cão de Caça. Ela tinha pesadelos durante a noite e se enroscava nele em busca de conforto.
- Eu vou ficar bem. Eu sou uma Stark. – ela disse de forma teimosa – Daenerys parece o tipo de garota que minha mãe gostaria que e fosse. Apesar de não gostar de ter que ficar perdendo tempo com conversas fúteis e me preocupando com o vestido que devo usar, vou fazer um esforço de me dar bem com ela. Isso e gastar todo meu charme com o velho Aemon. Quem sabe ele se sinta mais inclinado a me oferecer proteção.
O braço de Jon a puxou com mais força pela cintura, num ato reflexo. Ela riu baixinho.
- Mesmo que ele não te ofereça proteção, eu vou dar um jeito. Podemos fugir daqui. Podemos ir pro México, ou mesmo pro Caribe. O que acha? Gostaria de viver num lugar ensolarado, com palmeira e areia branca? – ele perguntou sorrindo para ela.
- Não. Eu gostaria de voltar pra casa assim que possível. – Arya disse calmamente – Mas eu ficaria feliz em qualquer lugar onde você estivesse.
Ele não disse nada, apenas sorriu e sentiu que pairava no ar uma sensação de expectativa. Era sempre assim desde o dia em que ela o beijou de leve. Ele ansiava por outro beijo daquele, por um movimento dela que indicasse que ele não estava delirando. Jon a encarou nos olhos. Eram cinzentos como os dele. Eram tão parecidos fisicamente que ainda podiam se passar por irmãos, mas tudo o que ele queria era esquecer aquele passado incomodo.
Jon se perguntava se ela havia notado algo diferente nele. Se seus gesto de afeto estavam se tornando muito óbvios ou muito inapropriados. Foi quando ele se lembrou que a garota em seus braços era Arya e ela nunca ligou para aquilo que era apropriado.
- Melhor eu ir me vestir para o jantar. Não queremos deixar nosso anfitrião mal humorado, não é mesmo? – ela disse beijando a bochecha dele.
- Tem razão. – Jon respondeu tentando não soar frustrado.
Arya se levantou da cama e saiu do quarto, deixando Jon sozinho e inquieto com as sensações que ela provocava nele.
_**I won't let them**__**
**__**Harm**__**
**__**Harm you**__**
**__**When your heart is breaking**__****_
_**You can follow me**__**
**__**You can follow me**__**
**__**I will always keep you safe**_
Ele saiu da cama e foi tomar um banho. A água quente era agradável contra a pele dele e uma navalha afiada se encarregaria de deixá-lo com uma boa aparência. Estava se sentindo um mendigo com aquela barba por fazer.
Ele terminou de se vestir. Lustrou os sapatos e ajeitou a gravata. O cabelo era um desafio a parte e Jon tinha de admitir que estava ansioso para conhecer o meio irmão. Aegon tinha fama de ser um bon vivan elegante. Jon não se considerava nem mesmo bem educado, que dirá elegante. Não. Ele era um nortenho rude, sistemático e nem um pouco amistoso. Mesmo assim era preferível causar uma boa impressão.
Antes de descer para o jantar ele bateu na porta do quarto de Arya para ver se ela já estava pronta. Ela abriu a porta e Jon respirou fundo ao se deparar com Arya usando um vestido azul escuro de musselina e com detalhes em veludo. Não era exatamente uma surpresa vê-la bem vestida, mas era como se pela primeira vez ele se desse conta de como ela era bonita.
Ele ofereceu o braço a ela e os dois desceram as escadas juntos. Quando chegaram na sala de jantar, todos já estavam sentados a mesa. O homem alto, de cabelo curto e loiro, vestia um terno em risca de giz, muito bem cortado. Tinha ares de aristocrata bem educado. Ele se levantou assim que avistou os convidados e só se sentou novamente quando todos já estavam devidamente acomodados.
Jon se sentiu desconfortável. Aquele era o meio irmão dele. Aegon Targaryen. Pelo que todos diziam ele era a cópia do pai e o futuro Don. Ele não demonstrava qualquer reação em particular pela chegada de Jon, talvez um toque de curiosidade.
- Agora podemos todos jantar como uma verdadeira família. Não posso dizer o quanto isso me deixa feliz. – Aemon disse satisfeito – Mas antes de comer, devo fazer as apresentações. Aegon, este é seu irmão, Jon. E está linda senhorita que o acompanha é Arya Stark. – Aegon os encarou e Jon sentiu no olhar do irmão o ar de superioridade.
- É um prazer finalmente conhecê-los. Vocês são o principal assunto nesta casa a quase uma semana. – Aegon disse tentando soar educado – Quando me falaram que eu tinha um irmão, esperei por um homem alto e loiro, mais parecido com os Targaryen. Confesso que fiquei surpreso.
- Temo ter puxado o rosto carrancudo dos Stark. – Jon disse recebendo um olhar severo de Arya quase que imediatamente – Sem ofensa, babe. Mas até você tem que admitir que nós não temos cara de muitos amigos.
- Eu que o diga. Quando criança me chamavam de Cara de Cavalo. – Arya disse fazendo Aemon rir baixinho e Aegon esboçar um sorriso, enquanto Daenerys continuava silenciosa.
- Com certeza este apelido já não é mais adequado. – Aegon disse tentando ser simpático – Mas haverá muito tempo para conversas depois. Eu não sei quanto a vocês, mas eu estou faminto.
Por alguma razão, aquele primeiro encontro o deixou desconfortável. Aegon parecia sorrateiro e sedutor como uma serpente, o que deixava todos os instintos dele alerta. Ele se sentia inquieto e a julgar pela forma como Arya se sentava ao lado dele, Jon podia dizer que ela estava tão desconfortável ali quanto ele.
Precisava ter paciência. Aemon não se sentiria inclinado a ajudá-lo caso se sentisse pressionado e Daenerys parecia indiferente a eles. Quanto a Aegon, se os instintos de Jon estivessem corretos, ele não moveria um músculo para ajudar o meio irmão a menos que fosse para achar a porta da rua.
_**Follow me**__**
**__**You can trust in me**__**
**__**I will always protect you**____**
**__**My love**___
_**Nota da autora: Mais um capítulo pronto e finalmente Jon conheceu a família dele. Pra ajudar vocês a entenderem como eu estou imaginando os personagens ai vai um guia prático do temperamento de cada personagem.**_
_**Jon = Michael Corleone jovem com um pouco da impulsividade do Jimmy de Boardwalk Empire.**_
_**Aegon = Jay Gatsby temperamental**_
_**Arya = Jordan Baker armada e perigosa (de The Great Gatsby)**_
_**Daenerys = Margareth Schroder (Boardwalk Empire) + Daisy (Great Gatsby)**_
_**Musica do capítulo: Follow Me do Muse**_
_**Espero que gostem e comentem.**_
4. Chapter 4
_**Love is blindness, I don't want to see**__**
**__**Won't you wrap the night around me?**__**
**__**Oh, my heart, love is blindness.**_
Foram cinco dias de desconforto e ansiedade dentro da Fortaleza Vermelha. Carregadores iam e vinham pelo jardim da mansão, levando enfeites, arranjos de flores, louça, cristais e prataria. Todos pareciam empolgados com o casamento, menos os dois hóspedes indesejados.
Aemon Targaryen não confiava nele o bastante para dizer como funcionavam os negócios da família, mas dava eventuais pistas do que estava pretendendo. Jon chegou a fazer alguns serviços naqueles dias, nada muito sangrento nem complicado. Apenas acompanhar Grifo quando ele fosse recolher o faturamento dos cassinos, prostíbulos e verificar os armazéns de bebida. Jon pode ter uma ideia do volume de dinheiro que circulava ali e comparado ao lucro dos Stark os negócios Targaryen chegavam a ser obsenos de tão lucrativos.
Bebida contrabandeada dava dinheiro, influência política e chantagem também, mas Ned Stark se recusava a explorar o ramo dos jogos ou mesmo da prostituição por uma questão moral. O velho Aemon não parecia ter problemas com isso. Tão pouco ele tinha problema em permitir que Jon tivesse uma noção do faturamento. Tudo parecia bem organizado e funcionava como uma máquina. Metade dos policiais federais estavam na folha de pagamento do velho e havia pelo menos três deputados e um senador para dar voz a Aemon no Congresso.
Segundo Grifo, o casamento de Daenerys representava uma significativa mudança no sistema de funcionamento da família. Khal Drogo era cubano, naturalizado americano, dono de vários cassinos e prostíbulos em sua terra natal e cabeça de uma gangue violenta. Dentro de Miami, os Targaryen não teriam mais que dar um tiro, Drogo era o novo responsável por fazer o trabalho sujo, mediante uma contribuição generosa nos lucros. Aparentemente era um bom negócio. Drogo não desperdiçava uma bala sem ter certeza de que a morte em questão serviria de exemplo.
Arya passava a maior parte do tempo com Daenerys e ajudando-a com os preparativos. Aparentemente ela realmente gostava do noivo, que Jon ainda não havia conhecido. Ele não precisava ser um gênio para saber que a prima estava entediada com tudo aquilo, mas Arya estava se esforçando para ajudá-lo como podia. Ela tinha consciência que ambos dependiam da boa vontade dos Targaryen.
O casamento seria pela manhã e antes do meio dia todo jardim estava tomado por convidados bem vestido. As senhoras usavam vestidos leves, com belos chapéus e casquetes, os senhores usavam ternos leves.
Arya o encontrou no salão de entrada. Ela estava vestindo um vestido violeta e um chapéu de aba curta, com flores. Um longo colar de perolas, que havia sido emprestado a ela pela noiva, caia graciosamente até a altura de sua cintura, amarrado em um nó. Ele ofereceu o braço a ela e ambos foram para o jardim.
Aemon fez questão de que ambos se sentassem à mesa com o restante da família e Jon foi apresentado a todos os convidados relevantes. Quando perguntavam quem era Jon "Snow", o velho não titubeava em afirmar com todas as letras que aquele era o filho de Rhaegar e que deveria ser chamado de Jon Targaryen. Arya se mexia de forma desconfortável toda vez que ouvia isso, mas ninguém parecia notar.
Aegon por sua vez matinha uma distância segura. Ele e Jon não trocavam mais de meia dúzia de palavras a menos que fosse extremamente necessário. Arya sempre encarava o irmão dele de forma desconfiada.
_**In a parked car, in a crowded street**__**
**__**You see your love made complete.**__**
**__**Thread is ripping, the knot is slipping**__**
**__**Love is blindness.**_
A cerimônia foi bonita e breve. Daenerys estava deslumbrante e quase angelical com seu vestido de noiva. Obviamente sua figura delicada contrastava drasticamente com a do noivo. Drogo era moreno, com um cavanhaque bem feito, uma altura e porte assustadores. Ele tinha quase dois metros de altura e ombros largos, que faziam Jon imaginar como um homem daquele tamanho conseguia caber dentro de um terno.
Ao final da cerimônia todos os Targaryen se sentaram à mesa principal, sendo que Dany e Drogo estavam no centro da mesa. Arya não queria estar naquele lugar mais do que Jon queria, mas Aemon insistiu tanto que seria uma grosseria recusar.
Todos ergueram suas taças aos noivos, como se a Lei Seca jamais tivesse existido. Champanhe parecia inundar o lugar e não havia uma única taça vazia naquele lugar. Arya parecia satisfeita em molhar os lábios na bebida e sentir um pouco do sabor ao qual estava acostumada. Jon imaginou que aquilo traria a ela lembranças boas das festas que os Stark costumavam oferecer durante o verão.
- Acho que não tive a oportunidade de dizer, mas você está especialmente linda hoje. – ele disse tentando parecer simpático, colocando a mão sobre a mão dela. Arya sorriu.
- Obrigada pela gentileza, você está melhorando suas mentiras. – ela riu abertamente.
Os noivos se levantaram para dançar sua primeira valsa e Jon não pode deixar de reparar como aquela cena parecia desengonçada. Drogo era grande de mais para conseguir conduzir Daenerys sem parecer que pretendia esmagá-la e Dany tinha dificuldades em acompanhar as passadas largas do noivo, mas ambos riam abertamente do desastre que estava sendo aquela valsa.
- Ao menos eles estão se divertindo de verdade. – Arya comentou bebericando o champanhe.
- Eu estou ficando ansioso com a cena. Tenho a sensação de que ele vai segurá-la com muita força e quebrar todos os ossos da noiva no meio da valsa. – Jon comentou, fazendo Arya rir abertamente.
- Exagerado. – ela disse.
- Eu estou falando sério! – ele disse bem humorado – Olha só aquilo. Parece até que eu estou vendo você dançando com aquele imbecil do Gendry Waters. Aliás, aquele lá tinha dois pés esquerdos.
- E depois que você quebrou dois dentes dele por tentar me roubar um beijo, ele definitivamente ficou com uma parte do cérebro danificada e jamais conseguirá dançar. – ela completou.
- Ele mereceu. Só assim pra entender que não significa não. – Jon resmungou.
- Oh claro, e você queria colocar uma bala na testa dele naquele dia. Se não fosse pela interferência do Robb e do meu pai, você teria conseguido. – ela disse – Pobre, Gendry.
- Não me arrependo, se é isso que você quer saber. – Jon resmungou.
_**Love is clockworks and cold steel**__**
**__**Fingers too numb to feel.**__**
**__**Squeeze the handle, blow out the candle**__**
**__**Love is blindness.**_
Eles continuaram conversando sobre coisas sem importância, sem realmente darem importância ao fato de que suas mãos continuavam unidas sobre a mesa. Aegon estava dançando com uma moça de pele escura e belos olhos castanhos, desfilando sua boa aparência e elegância, de modo que as únicas pessoas na mesa principal eram Jon, Arya e Aemon. O velho senhor pediu para se sentar mais próximo do sobrinho e de sua acompanhante. Ele parecia estar se divertindo imensamente com tudo aquilo.
- Estou me perguntando se vocês vão ficar sentados durante toda festa. – Aemon comentou.
- Não sou um bom dançarino. – Jon comentou sem graça, fazendo-o rir.
- Uma lástima para a senhorita Stark, eu suponho. Uma mocinha tão bonita ter que ficar sentada e entediada durante toda festa por causa de seu acompanhante é no mínimo deprimente. – Aemon disse no momento em que Daenerys trocava de parceiro de dança. Aegon e a noiva pareciam um par bem mais harmonioso – De qualquer modo, você deve dançar com sua tia.
- Acho que posso me sair melhor do que Drogo. – Jon comentou, fazendo o velho rir.
- Mecha-se, garoto. Leve a senhorita Stark pra dançar também. Você não pode ser tão ruim assim. – Aemon insistiu e Jon teve de ceder. Jon se levantou e estendeu a mão à Arya, parecendo mais tímido do que o normal.
- Me concede essa dança? – ele perguntou a ela. Arya aceitou a mão dele rapidamente.
- Vamos acabar logo com isso. O quanto antes esmagarmos os pés um dos outros, melhor. – ela disse rindo.
Os dois foram para a pista de dança e não foram nem de longe tão ruins quanto Jon havia dito. Arya não era dada a festas e bailes, mas tinha leveza e agilidade naturais, o que a tornavam fácil de conduzir. Jon por sua vez só não era adepto a demonstrar suas habilidades. Arya ria abertamente, enquanto se deixava levar.
Ela parecia desabrochar a cada dia. Era como se todo este tempo que viveram em Winterfell tivesse sido como uma grande nevasca, que impedia aquela garota de revelar sua verdadeira beleza. No calor, debaixo do sol da Flórida, Arya parecia radiante.
Jon chegou a se perguntar se seria de fato tão inapropriado querer algo além de uma relação fraternal. Deus era testemunha de que ele não conseguia vê-la como uma irmã, nem que gastasse todas as suas forças nisso. Tentou imaginar como ela reagiria se fosse ele a lhe roubar um beijo. Tentou imaginar também como os Stark reagiriam se soubessem de qualquer esforço dele no sentido de ter Arya como sua garota e não sua irmãzinha.
_**Love is blindness, I don't want to see**__**
**__**Won't you wrap the night around me?**__**
**__**Oh, my love,**__**
**__**Blindness.**_
- Você está tão sério. – ela comentou enquanto eles dançavam – Aposto que está pensando bobagem.
- Eu estava pensando se você gostaria de sair comigo amanhã para tomarmos um sorvete na cidade. – ele perguntou – Poderíamos passear na praia também.
- Sabe o que eu estou louca pra fazer? – ela perguntou com os olhos brilhando de excitação e expectativa.
- O que? – Jon aproximou o rosto do dela, seus lábios quase se tocando. Arya ficou corada, mas não se afastou.
- Atirar. – ela disse quebrando as expectativas dele – Eu estou louca pra praticar um pouco. Oh por favor, diga que nós podemos fazer isso!
- Acho que posso encontrar um bom lugar pra você praticar. – Jon disse rindo e rodopiando ela em seus braços.
Eventualmente a musica acabou e Aegon se aproximou dos dois com seu sorriso fácil e pose elegante. Algo nele fazia com que Jon se lembrasse de uma serpente a espreita, mas até aquele momento o irmão o havia tratado com toda civilidade do mundo. O sorriso dele se alargou, como se estivesse se preparando para contar uma boa piada.
- Me concede a próxima dança, senhorita Stark? – ele perguntou oferecendo a mão para Arya e ela aceitou porque de fato não sabia o que fazer.
Jon foi obrigado a tirar Danny para dançar, enquanto Drogo tentava não esmagar Arianne Martell. A noiva sorriu para ele e os dois dançaram livremente, sem que Jon perdesse Arya de vista um minuto se quer.
Aegon se inclinava para falar alguma coisa junto ao ouvido dela. Arya não parecia estar se divertindo nem um pouco com a proximidade dele. Talvez Jon estivesse ficando paranoico, ou se tornando superprotetor em relação a ela, mas a verdade é que ele não confiava em Aegon o bastante para ficar confortável quando ele se aproximava de Arya.
- Estou feliz que vocês estejam aqui. – Daenerys disse, tirando-o de seus pensamentos – Quero dizer, nós sempre soubemos que havia um filho do meu irmão perdido no mundo, mas achávamos que jamais o conheceríamos por uma questão de segurança. Aemon está tão feliz. Acho que ele se sente jovem outra vez, com você e Arya por perto.
- Me alegra saber que nossa presença é bem vinda. Infelizmente eu nunca soube da verdade até ser necessário. – Jon disse consternado – Danny, acho que sabe porque estamos aqui. Não posso negar que eu ficaria mais tranquilo se Aemon ao menos me dissesse se pretendem ou não nos ajudar com o caos que está acontecendo no Norte. Ned pode estar morrendo e nós estamos correndo contra o tempo. – Daenerys abaixou a cabeça e sorriu.
- Aemon tem seus próprios rituais. – ela disse – Ele se aborreceria se o ouvisse tocar neste assunto no meio do meu casamento.
- Eu sinto muito. Sei que parece desrespeitoso, mas eu estou preocupado. Ele foi como um pai pra mim e ele de fato é pai da Arya. Eu não queria que ela o perdesse no meio desta confusão quando algo poderia ser feito. – Jon se apressou em dizer.
- Eu sei. – Danny sorriu de forma simpática – Aemon não te falou nada porque queria ter a chance de conviver alguns dias com você. Drogo mandou um grupo pro norte para ajudar na proteção de Ned Stark e servir de reforço para a guarda do seu primo. Acho que não soube, mas Jaime Lannister foi capturado numa emboscada armada por Robb Stark. Tywin Lannister está furioso com isso e não vai poder fazer nada contra Ned se não quiser que seu menino de ouro acabe igual a uma peneira.
- Eu não fazia ideia de que estava tão familiarizada com essas coisas. – Jon comentou surpreso.
- Via de regra, as mulheres são sempre excluídas desses assuntos, mas desde que seu pai morreu eu tive de ser educada de acordo com a nossa situação. Nossa família está acabando. Somos só Aemon, Aegon, você e eu, e Aemon não vai durar muito tempo. Eu sei o que eu sei por precaução e porque Drogo acha fascinante ter uma mulher esperta. – ela disse rindo – Mas pelo que eu sei Arya não é uma garota ingênua.
_**A little death without mourning**__**
**__**No call and no warning**__**
**__**Baby, a dangerous idea**__**
**__**That almost makes sense.**_
- Não mesmo, mas ninguém nunca se deu ao trabalho de dizer a ela como as coisas funcionavam nesse mundo. – ele disse rodopiando com a noiva.
- Ninguém além de você. – Danny comentou maliciosa – Eu vejo que são bem próximos. São namorados?
- Não! De jeito nenhum...Nós...- ele se atrapalhou nas palavras – Nós crescemos como irmãos. Isso seria...
- Bem, vocês não são irmãos. – ela retrucou sorrindo – Devia tomar uma atitude em relação a isso. Ela não vai te esperar pra sempre.
- Talvez eu...Pense a respeito. – ele disse em tom grave.
- Sério? Nada aconteceu entre vocês até hoje? – Danny perguntou surpresa – Do jeito que chegaram aqui, a forma como você cuida dela e tudo mais, eu podia jurar que essa fuga até a Flórida havia dado a vocês a chance de esquecerem esse moralismo todo.
- Não é tão fácil quanto parece. – Jon disse sério.
A musica acabou e Jon reparou quando Arya se afastou de Aegon o mais rápido possível, tentando não chamar atenção para si. Aquilo não era comum. Jon pediu licença para Danny e foi atrás da prima.
Jon a encontrou na biblioteca dentro da casa. O ambiente ficava no segundo andar da mansão Targaryen e tinha vista para o jardim. Arya estava escorada contra a janela, observando a festa. Ele se aproximou dela com cuidado, envolvendo-a pela cintura. Arya recostou a cabeça contra o peito dele, mas não disse uma palavra sobre o que havia acontecido.
_**Love is drowning in a deep well**__**
**__**All the secrets, and no one to tell.**__**
**__**Take the money, honey...**__**
**__**Blindness.**_
- Por que saiu correndo daquele jeito? – ele perguntou por fim. Ela se remexeu desconfortavelmente entre os braços dele.
- Eu me sinto mais refém aqui, do que me sentiria se tivesse caído na mão de Tywin. – ela resmungou – Eu quero ir embora daqui.
- O que Aegon lhe disse? – Jon perguntou de forma direta.
- Você não tem que se preocupar com o que ele me disse. – ela retrucou – Pelo amor de Deus, vocês são irmãos e eu não vou ser o pivô de uma discussão entre vocês.
- Arya, eu vou discutir com ele de um jeito ou de outro se ele aborreceu você. – Jon insistiu.
- Só...Vamos embora. Não precisamos ficar nessa casa. Podemos ir pra outro lugar dentro do território deles. – ela pediu – Meu pai pode ter salvado a vida dele e de Daenerys quando eram crianças, mas Jon...Eu ainda sou uma Stark. Eu ainda sou uma ferida no orgulho dessa gente. O que acha que eles vêm na minha cara? Uma cópia da minha tia.
- Eu também sou parte Stark, babe. – ele disse sério.
- Em você eles não podem tocar. Você é um deles. – ela resmungou – Eu sou uma intrusa.
- Danny a trata da mesma maneira? – Jon perguntou confuso.
- Não. Ela não. – Arya disse – Gosto dela.
- Eu vou ver o que podemos fazer a respeito. – Jon disse tentando acalmá-la – Se Aegon fizer alguma coisa contra você, qualquer coisa...Por favor, me diga.
- Eu prometo que farei isso. – ela disse e Jon teve a sensação de que aquela era a primeira vez que Arya mentia para ele.
Jon a abraçou mais forte e beijou seu pescoço. Sentiu o calor do corpo dela e a forma como ela parecia relaxar quando ele fazia isso. Queria ficar com ela daquele jeito para sempre. Ele beijou o pescoço dela varias vezes depois disso, enquanto deslizava sua mão pela barriga dela. Arya fechou os olhos e sua respiração se tornou pesada.
- Você me ama, babe? – ele perguntou por fim.
- É claro que sim. – a resposta foi leve e mais rápida do que ele havia imaginado. Ela o amava como a um irmão, mas aquilo bastaria por hora.
- Então me prometa que jamais vai mentir pra mim. – ele pediu – Mesmo que seja a respeito dele, ou qualquer um desses loucos.
- Oh Jon... – ela resmungou.
- Prometa. – ele pediu – Eu juro, babe. Eu vou matar cada um deles se tentarem te fazer mal. Se Aegon encostar em você, meu irmão vai se arrepender de ter nascido.
- Matar seu irmão é um pecado muito grave. – ela disse.
- Eu não me importo. – Jon afirmou fervorosamente. Arya se virou para encará-lo nos olhos.
- Mas eu me importo. – ela disse – Não vou botar a sua alma em jogo. Se um dia seu irmão tentar qualquer coisa, eu só peço que me dê a arma. Eu mesma faço o serviço. - Jon a agarrou pela cintura num puxão forte e beijou o rosto dela com adoração.
- Eu te amo, garota. – ele disse quase sem fôlego. Sua mente ignorou qualquer pensamento a respeito do passado, de sua culpa e de seus valores.
Sem que Jon percebesse o momento exato seus lábios já estavam sobre os dela, exigindo uma resposta silenciosa à declaração dele. A boca dela se abriu num convite claro e a língua dele tomou para si aquele território tão desejado. Ele quis aquele beijo desde o momento em que ela roçou seus lábios contra os dele no trem. Mesmo antes disso Arya já o fascinava de um modo assustador.
E todas aquelas noites dividindo a mesma cama, sem que ele conseguisse ter um pingo de descanso. A proximidade dos corpos e a forma como ela o tentava sem ter a menor ideia do que seus toques, seus gestos faziam com ele.
Por um momento...Apenas por um momento, ele ignoraria que um dia ele a chamou de irmã.
_**Love is blindness, I don't want to see**__**
**__**Won't you wrap the night around me?**__**
**__**Oh, my love,**__**
**__**Blindness.**_
_**Nota da autora: Sim, eu vou deixar vocês morrendo de curiosidade pra saber o que acontece depois. Sério, não vou entregar o ouro de uma vez XD. Involuntariamente eu acabei escrevendo o capítulo inteiro na perspectiva do Jon, quando esta fic não era pra ter este tipo de divisão, o que quer dizer que no próximo capítulo saberemos o que o Aegon falou com a Arya e o que acontece nessa biblioteca quando ninguém está olhando.**_
_**Bjux**_
_**Bee**_
5. Chapter 5
_**I've been out on that open road**____**
**__**You can be my full time, daddy**____**
**__**White and gold**____**
**__**Singing blues has been getting old**____**
**__**You can be my full time, baby**____**
**__**Hot or cold**___
Ela tentou ignorar por muito tempo, mas depois da fuga, das noites em que ela se agarrou a ele buscando um pouco de segurança e aconchego, depois dos lábios que se tocaram quase por acidente no trem, quando as mãos dela ainda estavam trêmulas por ter matado o Cão de Caça...Havia um limite para negação e Arya estava cansada de fazer de conta que não queria ser mais ousada.
Não foi algo que ela percebeu imediatamente. Eles cresceram juntos, se viram em situações constrangedoras e em momentos realmente ruins. Havia uma sensação nauseante e desconfortável toda vez que ela se pegava pensando em como ele ficava bonito sem o paletó do terno, usando apenas sua camisa regata, com os suspensórios abaixados. Como ele era perversamente bonito enquanto fumava um cigarro e bebia um longo gole de uísque.
Ele ainda era o mesmo Jon. O protetor, o melhor amigo, o assassino particular, o pesadelo mais intimo, o desejo mais obscuro. Ele era o bastardo dela. Era o único porto seguro que ela tinha naquele lugar estranho, com aquelas pessoas estranhas.
Arya gostava de Daenerys e Aemon tanto quanto o possível. A garota Targaryen era divertida e elas tinham muito em comum graças ao tipo de vida que tiveram. Aemon por outro lado, era como o avô que ela nunca conheceu. Ele tinha uma inteligência aguçada e uma vontade incontrolável de fazê-la se sentir bem ali. Arya suspeitava que isso era porque o velho queria manter Jon na Flórida tanto quanto possível.
O velho gostava de conversar com ela sobre vários assuntos. Eles discutiam as notícias do jornal, debatendo sobre como os projetos do governo para a realização de obras públicas poderia ajudar a economia. Às vezes Aemon pedia para ela ler alguma coisa pra ele, em especial os livros bobos, ou infantis, para que ela fizesse vozes engraçadas durante os diálogos. Houve uma vez que ele pediu para que ela tocasse piano e Arya teve de fazer um esforço monstruoso para conseguir tocar algo divertido e animado, sem que ele decidisse que era melhor ser surdo do que ouvir a falta de talento dela.
Arya gostava deles e apreciava seus esforços para fazê-la se sentir em casa. O único por quem ela não tinha nenhuma simpatia era Aegon.
Talvez fosse o excesso de bons modos e os sorrisos fáceis. Ele parecia estar sempre zombando de algo, ou maquinando alguma coisa sórdida. Ele a deixava inquieta e desconfortável sempre que estavam no ambiente. Não foi diferente quando ele a tirou para dançar durante a recepção do casamento. Ela não queria ter ido com ele, não quando os braços de Jon eram de longe a melhor opção.
A mão dele estava repousada no fim da coluna dela, desafiando os limites da decência. Ele a conduzia como se não fosse mais do que uma pluma. Seus olhos violetas eram intensos sobre ela, como se a avaliassem. Arya queria que aquela dança acabasse o mais rápido possível.
- Grifo disse que você é idêntica a sua tia. – ele comentou sem nenhum sentimento em particular transparecendo em sua voz.
- É o que dizem. – ela revidou indiferente.
_**Don't break me down**____**
**__**I've been traveling too long**____**
**__**I've been trying too hard**____**
**__**With one pretty song**___
- Estou tentando entender o que meu pai viu nela. – Aegon acrescentou – Não me leve a mal. Você até que é bem bonitinha, mas não chega a valer o esforço de uma guerra. Ou talvez seja o que as Stark têm entre as pernas o que as torna tão fascinantes. – ele disse em tom vulgar e indiscreto. Sua mão a puxou mais pra perto, deixando-a constrangida com a proximidade – O bastardo parece enfeitiçado por você. O bastante para arriscar a própria pele para trazê-la aqui e implorar por nossa ajuda.
- Jon estava cumprindo ordens. – ela respondeu séria – Meu pai o instruiu.
- Oh, não duvido que Ned Stark tenha dito a ele a verdade, mas pode acreditar, o bastardo veio até aqui por conta própria, só para garantir que não levariam você pra longe. – ele disse maldoso – Aposto que o caminho até aqui foi cheio de oportunidades para explorar os mistérios das mulheres Stark.
- Jon nunca faria uma coisa dessas. E eu nem sei porque estamos discutindo isso. – ela resmungou – Se não somos bem vindos aqui, diga de uma vez ao invés de ficar lançando esses seus sorrisos amarelos.
- Eu bem que gostaria, mas Aemon está fascinado com a ideia de ter o outro sobrinho aqui. – Aegon disse – Acho que ele tem esperança de que Jon seja mais parecido com meu pai do que eu. O desgraçado nem tinha nascido ainda e meu pai já o tinha colocado no testamento. Imagine só, metade da minha fortuna vai pro filho da vagabunda Stark. Além disso Aemon quer ter certeza de que passar o comando pra mim é uma boa decisão. E mais uma vez eu tenho de ver minha família ruir por causa dos Stark.
- Eu garanto que Jon não sabe de nada a respeito disso. – ela se apressou em dizer, enquanto tentava não demonstrar seu nervosismo durante a dança.
- Oh, para o seu bem eu espero que não. – ele disse sério – Seria uma lastima ver seu rostinho desfigurado, como ficou o da minha irmã depois que os cães de aluguel de Tywin Lannister esmagaram a cabeça dela contra a parede. Jon não vai saber nada a respeito disso, não é mesmo.
- Eu não vou dizer nada. – ela disse séria e Aegon sorriu.
- Boa garota. – ele disse satisfeito – Acho que nós podemos nos dar muito bem, não é mesmo? Quem sabe eu acabe te fazendo uma visita à noite para descobrir o que há de tão especial nas garotas Stark. Eu não me importo de dividir os brinquedos com meu irmãozinho.
O estômago dela revirou e por sorte a música acabou. Ela quase o empurrou e saiu correndo para dentro da mansão sem olhar pra traz. Ela precisava de sossego, precisava de um cigarro roubado da boca de Jon, um que ainda tivesse o gosto dele. Precisava de um gole de uísque para acompanhar.
Foi na biblioteca, no segundo andar da mansão, que Jon a encontrou escondida e apavorada. Foi lá que ele a abraçou como se lesse seus pensamentos e soubesse exatamente do que ela precisava. Ele sempre fazia isso, desde que ela era criança e os dois jogavam bolas de neve um no outro durante o inverno.
Ela não se importaria se a alegação de Aegon fosse verdade. E daí se ele tivesse levado ela para Flórida por sua conta e risco? Ela era mais feliz com ele do que com qualquer outra pessoa. Com Jon por perto ela se sentia menos acuada, um pouco mais destemida e feroz.
_**I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast**____**
**__**I am alone in the night**____**
**__**Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I**____**
**__**I've got a war in my mind**____**
**__**So, I just ride, I just ride**__**
**__**I just ride, I just ride**__**
**__**Dying young and I'm playing hard**____**
**__**That's the way my father made his life an art**____**
**__**Drink all day and we talk 'til dark**____**
**__**That's the way the road doves do it, ride 'til dark**__**
**_
- Por que saiu correndo daquele jeito? – ele perguntou por fim. Ela se remexeu desconfortavelmente entre os braços dele, ao lembrar das ameaças de Aegon. Se ela falasse a verdade, mais uma guerra iria começar. Eles precisavam sair daquela casa o quanto antes.
- Eu me sinto mais refém aqui, do que me sentiria se tivesse caído na mão de Tywin. – ela resmungou – Eu quero ir embora daqui.
- O que Aegon lhe disse? – Jon perguntou sem rodeios. Oh se ele ao menos soubesse a cobra que era aquele homem.
- Você não tem que se preocupar com o que ele me disse. – ela se apressou em dizer – Pelo amor de Deus, vocês são irmãos e eu não vou ser o pivô de uma discussão entre vocês.
- Arya, eu vou discutir com ele de um jeito ou de outro se ele aborreceu você. – Jon conseguia ser teimoso feito uma mula quando queria. A verdade é que ela não ia conseguir mantê-lo no escuro por muito tempo.
- Só...Vamos embora. Não precisamos ficar nessa casa. Podemos ir pra outro lugar dentro do território deles. – ela quase implorou – Meu pai pode ter salvado a vida dele e de Daenerys quando eram crianças, mas Jon...Eu ainda sou uma Stark. Eu ainda sou uma ferida no orgulho dessa gente. O que acha que eles vêm na minha cara? Uma cópia da minha tia.
- Eu também sou parte Stark, babe. – ele disse sério. Aquela conversa não ia dar em lugar nenhum.
- Em você eles não podem tocar. Você é um deles. – ela resmungou. Isso, a proteção de Aemon e o fato de que Rhaegar havia incluído Jon no testamento antes mesmo dele nascer. Droga! Jon era intocável, mas ela não! – Eu sou uma intrusa.
- Danny a trata da mesma maneira? – Jon perguntou confuso, como uma criança aprendendo uma lição particularmente difícil.
- Não. Ela não. – Arya disse – Gosto dela.
- Eu vou ver o que podemos fazer a respeito. – Jon tentou acalmá-la – Se Aegon fizer alguma coisa contra você, qualquer coisa...Por favor, me diga.
- Eu prometo que farei isso. – ela disse com peso no coração. Ela nunca havia mentido para ele antes.
Jon a abraçou mais forte e beijou seu pescoço dela. Ele tinha aquele efeito sobre ela. O poder de fazer com que todos os músculos tensos relaxassem imediatamente. Ela Queria ficar com ele daquele jeito para sempre. Ele beijou o pescoço dela varias vezes depois disso, enquanto deslizava sua mão pela barriga dela, provocando arrepios. Arya fechou os olhos e sua respiração se tornou pesada.
_**Don't leave me now**____**
**__**Don't say goodbye**____**
**__**Don't turn around**____**
**__**Leave me high and dry**___
- Você me ama, babe? – ele perguntou quebrando o silêncio e pegando-a de surpresa.
- É claro que sim. – a resposta escapou dos lábios dela como um fugitivo ansioso pela liberdade, como se todo este tempo estivesse apenas aguardando o momento certo.
- Então me prometa que jamais vai mentir pra mim. – aquele era um pedido cruel – Mesmo que seja a respeito dele, ou qualquer um desses loucos.
- Oh Jon... – ela resmungou contrariada.
- Prometa. – ele insistiu – Eu juro, babe. Eu vou matar cada um deles se tentarem te fazer mal. Se Aegon encostar em você, meu irmão vai se arrepender de ter nascido.
- Matar seu irmão é um pecado muito grave. – ela disse.
- Eu não me importo. – Jon afirmou fervorosamente. Ela se virou para encará-lo nos olhos.
- Mas eu me importo. – ela respondeu convicta – Não vou botar a sua alma em jogo. Se um dia seu irmão tentar qualquer coisa, eu só peço que me dê a arma. Eu mesma faço o serviço. - Jon a agarrou pela cintura num puxão forte e beijou o rosto dela com adoração, fazendo o coração dela disparar.
- Eu te amo, garota. – juras de morte e declarações de amor. Era disso que ela viva e assim se construía uma harmonia complexa e perfeita entre eles.
Quando os lábios dele colidiram contra os dela, Arya podia jurar que estava delirando, que aquilo era mais uma das inúmeras fantasias dela. Seus dedos se enroscaram no cabelo dele, sem qualquer consideração pelo tempo que ele gastava diariamente tentando conter os cachos rebeldes.
Por sorte Jon havia fechado a porta antes de entrar na biblioteca. Ao menos eles não teriam que explicar o que estavam fazendo em cima da mesa da biblioteca, ou porque Jon tentava suspender a saia dela e soltar as meias presas pela cinta liga.
A boca dele era urgente e incessante. Talvez ele tivesse parado aquela loucura em um ou dois momentos, mas ela varreu para longe tais pensamentos ao desabotoar o colete, arrancar a gravata dele e se livras dos suspensórios. Arya tentou imaginar onde tudo aquilo os levaria, mas em sua mente havia apenas uma vaga noção do que se passava entre um homem e uma mulher.
Tudo o que ela podia dizer é que tudo parecia conduzir o corpo dela a um lugar fantástico de mais para ser descrito. Quando Jon a agarrou pelo traseiro, posicionando-a melhor e pressionando-a contra o quadril dele, Arya sentiu seu sangue correr ainda mais rápido e o coração disparar.
As mãos dela se tornaram mais ousavas ao deslizarem pelo peito nu e pelas costas dele. Jon beijava o pescoço dela, descendo por um caminho sinuoso até chegar a borda do decote dela. Ele deslizou as alças do vestido dela e foi além. A boca dele se fechou ao redor do mamilo dela. Ela fechou os olhos e o agarrou pelos cabelos, desejando que Jon não parasse nunca com aquilo.
Ele fez a mesma coisa com o outro mamilo, depois voltando a beijar o pescoço dela com mais cuidado e lentidão do que da primeira vez. O cheiro dele estava por toda parte, envolvendo-a e tornando seus pensamentos turvos. Jon se afastou dela apenas o bastante para poder encará-la nos olhos.
_**I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast**____**
**__**I am alone in the night**____**
**__**Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I**____**
**__**I've got a war in my mind**____**
**__**I just ride, I just ride**__**
**__**I just ride, I just ride**__**
**_
Ele desabotoou a calça e a abaixou junto com a roupa de baixo. Arya se sentiu febril e zonza pela expectativa e pela curiosidade. Jon retirou as roupas intimas dela e a tocou entre as pernas, provocando um sobressalto e arrancando de seus lábios um gemido desconcertante. Ele abafou os sons que se seguiram, cobrindo a boca dela com a dele.
Os dedos dele se moviam de forma ousada e ela sentia aquela umidade inexplicável e constrangedora. Ela sentia que algo estava prestes a acontecer, sem saber exatamente o que era. Aquela era uma das zonas nebulosas, um daqueles assuntos que sua mãe sempre se esquivava quando tinha a chance e que faziam Sansa corar.
Aquilo devia ser errado, devia ser algo deliciosamente proibido e isso tornava tudo ainda mais interessante. Os gemidos escapavam da boca dela com mais facilidade e seus olhos lacrimejavam. Seus pés se retorceram e ela mal conseguia ficar quieta debaixo do corpo dele, não quando Jon causava todas aquelas sensações estranhas e fascinantes nela.
E sem nenhuma razão ele parou de tocá-la, deixando-a insatisfeita e frustrada, sem que ela nem mesmo entendesse porque estava se sentindo daquela maneira. Jon a olhou nos olhos mais uma vez antes de beijá-la com carinho e cuidado.
A sensação de invasão fez com que ela tentasse afastá-lo por um momento, mas logo os beijos, as mãos e o cheiro dele a convenceram do contrário. A dor veio quando ela o sentiu inteiro dentro de si. O protesto foi inevitável, mas a medida que ele se movia dentro dela o desconforto era substituído por algo agradável, que crescia dentro dela, tornando-se prazer.
Ela o abraçou, arranhou suas costas e o enlaçou pela cintura com suas pernas. Os movimentos se tornaram mais rápidos, os toques mais urgentes, os sons mais altos e quando ela se deu conta já estava chamando o nome de Jon em alto e bom som. Ela fechou os olhos com força, sentindo-o cada vez mais fundo dentro dela, com movimentos cada vez mais rápidos, que a deixavam sem ar.
Então ela se rendeu àquele prazer obscuro e misterioso, com gosto de pecado e redenção. Sentiu quando ele atingiu seu próprio prazer, sentiu a respiração pesada dele junto a orelha dela, enquanto Jon sustentava seu peso nos antebraços.
O rosto dele estava suado e corado. Havia um sorriso leve dançando no canto dos lábios dele, ainda relutante em se mostrar. Por um lado, aquilo, aquele momento de paixão descontrolada era apenas o fruto dos desejos e sonhos mais ocultos dentro deles, mas ao mesmo tempo encará-lo era algo difícil. Era como se a felicidade não pudesse ser vivida, era algo para se ter vergonha e não orgulho.
Jon pareceu entender isso numa troca de olhares, quando ele buscou os olhos dela e Arya virou o rosto. Ela ainda não estava preparada para encará-lo, não ainda. Ele se afastou dela rapidamente, ajeitando as roupas e o cabelo sem dizer uma única palavra.
Arya se levantou da mesa colocando suas roupas intimas, prendendo as meias na cinta liga, e arrumando o vestido. Por um longo momento ela ficou em silencio, sem saber o que fazer. A saia do vestido estava manchada e ela só notou isso quando encarou as próprias mãos, pousadas sobre o colo dela. O desconforto entre as pernas não chegava a ser um problema, era apenas uma recordação indiscreta do que havia acabado de acontecer.
_**I'm tired of feeling like I'm f*cking crazy**____**
**__**I'm tired of driving 'til I see stars in my eyes**____**
**__**I look up to hear myself saying**__**
**__**"Baby, too much I strive, I just ride"**___
- Acho que é melhor eu me trocar. – ela disse enquanto encarava a mancha de sangue.
- Arya, eu...- ela sabia que Jon estava encarando seus próprios fantasmas. As palavras de Aegon subitamente começaram a fazer sentido dentro da cabeça dela. Nos olhos dele havia de fato um fascínio e ele havia conseguido dela o que queria.
- Não precisa dizer nada. – ela disse imediatamente. Jon deu dois passos e parou diante dela. Ele segurou as mãos dela e Arya ergueu o rosto para encará-lo nos olhos. Oh Deus, como foram parar naquela situação?
- Eu estava falando sério. – ele disse em seu tom grave – Eu te amo.
- Eu nunca duvidei disso. – ela afirmou num tom fraco. Suas mãos ainda estavam tremulas e sua mente era um turbilhão de ideias. – Eu só não...É muita coisa pra assimilar de uma vez, Jon. – ela disse.
- Você não...Você não disse nada. – ele disse num esforço de se defender. Jon era um homem rústico em muitos aspectos, calejado por conta da vida que levava a serviço dos Stark. Sua lealdade era cega, seu humor era azedo, seu rosto não inspirava simpatia nem confiança. Ele era a imagem da força, mas naquele momento ele olhava para ela como se fosse uma criança perdida – Achei que era isso o que queria.
- Jon...Só me de um pouco de tempo. – ela pediu sem saber o que mais poderia fazer – Nós crescemos como irmãos. Pelo amor de Deus, isso me dá o direito de ao menos pedir por um pouco de tempo pra assimilar o que...O que está acontecendo entre nós e a quanto tempo isso está acontecendo.
- Muito bem. – ele disse sério – Eu...Eu só quero saber se posso ter alguma esperança.
- Esperança de que? – ela o encarou incrédula.
- Nós não somos irmãos, Arya. – ele disse em tom grave – Eu quero saber se...Se é possível que sinta algo por mim.
- Eu sempre amei você. – ela disse em tom fraco e inseguro.
- Como a um irmão. – Jon deduziu – Eu não estou falando disso, Arya. Eu estou falando de algo maior. – ela respirou fundo. Dentro daquela casa ela não só era uma estranha como era uma inimiga de Aegon. Jon era sua única chance de proteção e segurança. Apesar de não acreditar que ele pudesse virar as costas para ela caso ela o rejeitasse, fazer isso não parecia uma atitude inteligente.
- Tenha suas esperanças. – ela disse por fim – Eu não consigo entender o que sinto por você, mas com certeza é maior do que o amor de irmãos. – o rosto dele se iluminou – Eu preciso de tempo, Jon. Só pra poder entender o que está acontecendo. E um cigarro...Um cigarro seria ótimo.
Ele puxou do bolso da calça a cigarreira e entregou um dos cigarros a ela. Arya colocou-o na boca e Jon se apressou em ascendê-lo com seu isqueiro de prata, que havia sido um presente dado por ela no último natal. Ela tragou longamente, deixando a fumaça escapar aos poucos entre seus lábios.
Jon se ajoelhou diante dela, enquanto Arya tragava o cigarro mais uma vez. Ela abaixou o cigarro e a medida que deixava a fumaça escapar por seus lábios, Jon respirava cada mínimo traço. A boca dela ainda estava entreaberta e ele a beijou mais uma vez. Ele tinha gosto de uísque, tabaco, menta e sangue. Ele fazia o coração dela bater mais rápido e seu mundo parar.
Juras de amor e morte. A vida deles se resumia a isso. Juras de amor e morte.
_**I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast**____**
**__**I am alone in the night**____**
**__**Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I**____**
**__**I've got a war in my mind**____**
**__**I just ride, I just ride**__**
**__**I just ride, I just ride**__**
**_
_**Nota da autora: E nem tudo são flores. A cena da biblioteca foi tensa de escrever por algumas razões. Na minha cabeça, a Arya da década de 20, apesar de ser muito sagaz para algumas coisa, é muito ingênua na questão sexual. As brincadeiras, as provocações que ela faz com o Jon ao roubar o cigarro, ou encostar a boca na boca dele é quase uma brincadeira. Ela não tem muita noção de até onde isso pode levá-la. Ela é a "garotinha" da família e os Stark são bem conservadores no que diz respeito a criação dos filhos. Então ela só tem uma noção do que está acontecendo e a realidade bate na porta quando já não tem mais volta. E ai, o que acontece daqui pra frente? Sério, me deem sugestões, pq eu não sei XD. Espero que gostem e comentem.**_
_**Bju**_
_**Bee**_
6. Chapter 6
_**Feet don't fail me now**__**
**__**Take me to the finish line**__**
**__**All my heart it breaks every step that I take**__**
**__**But I'm hoping that the gates**__**
**__**They'll tell me that you're mine**__****_
_**Walking through the city streets**__**
**__**Is it by mistake or desire?**__**
**__**I feel so alone on a friday night**__**
**__**Can you make it feel like home**__**
**__**If I tell you you're mine**__****_
_**It's like I told you honey**__**
**_
Uma semana depois do casamento e Jon ainda se perguntava quanto tempo Arya precisava para chegar a uma conclusão a respeito do que sentia por ele. Não queria apressá-la, não queria que ela se sentisse pressionada de qualquer forma, mas aqueles dias em silêncio estavam acabando com o humor e a paciência dele.
Aemon parecia ter notado que o estado de espírito dele não era dos melhores e que talvez Jon precisasse de algo pra ocupar a mente. Ele o mandou para cobrar algumas dívidas de devedores problemáticos, o que dava a Jon a chance de extravasar sua raiva de uma forma prática. Quando ele voltou para a mansão Targaryen, com uma maleta cheia de dinheiro, Aemon riu e comentou que Jon estava se tornando um investimento muito lucrativo.
Era ao menos reconfortante saber que tinha alguma utilidade naquela casa, mesmo quando Arya mantinha distância dele. Aegon quase não ficava na mansão, o que dava a Jon alguma paz de espírito.
Notícias do norte chegaram ainda naquela semana. Ned Stark havia recebido alta e retornado a Winterfell. Robb estava ajudando com a administração dos negócios. Sansa e Catelyn ainda não haviam retornado por questões de segurança. Bran e Rickon também continuavam no Canadá.
Aemon o chamou pessoalmente para lhe dar as notícias. Jon se sentiu aliviado por saber que as coisas estavam se acalmando em New Hampshire. O velho pediu para que Jon se servisse de uísque e sentasse. Aquilo queria dizer que havia mais na história do que apenas boas notícias.
- Isso é a parte que te deixa aliviado. – Aemon disse – Agora vem a parte que devemos nos concentrar.
- Algo grave aconteceu? – Jon perguntou de forma contida.
- As ruas ainda estão violentas. Os homens que Drogo mandou estão cuidando bem disso. Jaime Lannister ainda está vivo, mas Jeoffrey não. Ele foi envenenado, imagine só. – Aemon disse sério – Não se pode confiar nem nas esposas mais.
- Como está a situação no território Baratheon? – Jon perguntou imediatamente.
- Confusa. – Aemon respondeu – Os irmãos de Robert estavam se degladiando pelo poder. Stannis assassinou Renly com uma facada. Um negócio sangrento e vulgar. Eu gostaria de saber onde foi parar a honra desses homens. – a voz do velho parecia consternada – Aparentemente os aliados de Renly estão preferindo apoiar um dos bastardos de Robert. Fazer negócio com os Lannister não está sendo vantajoso para ninguém.
- Qual dos bastardos? – Jon perguntou sem grande interesse.
- Gendry. – Aemon disse e Jon se remexeu de forma desconfortável na cadeira – Você o conhece?
- Ele tem muito em comum com o pai. Rude, com uma mente simplória, mas mais esforçado. Insuportavelmente irritante quando está perto de uma garota que o atrai. – ele disse sério.
- E eu vou supor que você foi o homem que acertou um soco na cara dele numa boate em Chicago dois anos atrás. – Aemon disse – E eu também vou supor que o motivo da briga não foi uma dançaria ruiva e sim o fato dele ter se referido a Arya em termos que você não aprovou. – Jon ficou calado diante da acusação – Ora garoto, eu sou velho, não burro. Também não sou tão cego quanto pensa. Você não faz questão nenhuma de esconder o ciúme que sente dela.
- Por que estamos tendo essa conversa mesmo? – Jon perguntou de forma impertinente. Aemon riu um riso estranho.
- Oh eu estava certo. – ele disse – Você é igualzinho ao seu pai. Rhaegar teve basicamente a mesma reação quando mencionei que a data de casamento de Lyanna e Robert estava marcada. Na semana seguinte ele e sua mãe desapareceram. O que chegou aos meus ouvidos é que você está fazendo a mesma coisa com sua prima.
- Como? – Jon o encarou confuso.
- Falei com Ned Stark pessoalmente. Ele disse que deveria recorrer a mim em último caso e que o plano original era que Arya fosse para a casa da tia, junto com a mãe e a irmã. – Aemon disse – Por algum motivo você decidiu retirá-la de Winterfell e trazê-la pra cá. Eu estou feliz que tenha feito isso, garoto. Só espero que entenda que a longo prazo isso pode nos trazer problemas.
- Ned fez alguma exigência? – Jon perguntou como um garotinho que recebe uma bronca do pai.
- Que vocês voltem para o Norte tão logo seja possível. – Aemon disse – Mas isso é o que Ned quer, não o que eu quero. – Jon arregalou os olhos involuntariamente – Eu quero que continue aqui, Jon. Que faça parte desta família e assuma sua posição de direito. Rhaegar o contemplou em seu testamento, Jon. Você tem metade deste lugar e sinto que posso confiar em você para cuidar dos negócios quando eu me for.
- E quanto a Aegon? Achei que ele era o sucessor mais provável. – Jon questionou.
- Aegon tem suas próprias ideias. Sinceramente eu acho que são planos arriscados de mais. Este negócio é delicado e sangrento. Aegon não é nem respeitado, nem temido e isso é um problema. Ele vem tentando negociar com os Martell, que controlam a fronteira com o México. Bebida, tráfico humano e outras coisas que nós não sabemos como lidar. Aquilo é uma bomba relógio e uma coisa era negociar com Doran, outra bem diferente é negociar com Oberyn. Aquele é um homem perigoso que vai mandar uma daquelas cobras que ele chama de filhas para envenenar qualquer coisa que Aegon venha a levar na boca. Não, não...Aegon não tem tato, nem estômago para esse tipo de coisa. – o velho respirou fundo – Ao menos Ned Stark o ensinou bem. Você chegou a menos de um mês e a cidade já o conhece como o "Bastardo Targaryen". Eles temem você, Jon. Faça os movimentos certos e eles vão respeitar você.
- E quais seriam os movimentos certos? – Jon questionou.
_**Don't make me sad, don't make me cry**__**
**__**Sometimes love's not enough**__**
**__**When the road gets tough**__**
**__**I don't know why**__**
**__**Keep making me laugh,**__**
**__**Let's go get high**__**
**__**Road's long, we carry on**__**
**__**Try to have fun in the meantime**__****_
_**Come and take a walk on the wild side**__**
**__**Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain**__**
**__**You like your girls insane**__**
**__**Choose your last words**__**
**__**This is the last time**__**
**__**Cause you and I**__****_
_**We were born to die**_
- Não cometa o erro do seu pai. Isso seria um bom começo. – Aemon falou – Mas além disso vai ter de formar suas próprias alianças e, preferencialmente, evitar que os Martell ganhem influência no nosso território.
- Quer dizer que abrir mão de Arya é parte do que devo fazer pra ser merecedor do posto? – Jon questionou tentando disfarçar o susto.
- Não estou falando pra abrir mão dela. Deus, não! Ela é uma Stark, o pai dela importa o melhor uísque e nós precisamos de coisa assim para abastecer nossos cassinos. Além disso é sempre bom ter apoio de famílias tão influentes. – Aemon disse sorrindo – O que eu estou dizendo é que não deve ser inimigo dos Stark. Faça a coisa da forma certa. Peça a mão dela se precisar, mas não dê motivos para que achem que você os traiu sequestrando a pequena Arya e trazendo pro nosso território. Isso seria uma dor de cabeça desnecessária.
- Eu farei o possível. – Jon disse – Eu...Obrigado por me receber.
- Garoto, sou eu quem agradece por você existir. Ouvir sua voz é como ouvir Rhaegar aqui outra vez. Você e seu pai têm muito em comum, mais do que pode imaginar. Mas acho que você tem a vantagem de ter mais aptidão pra parte física deste negócio. Não precisa assumir o posto se achar que não vale a pena. – Aemon disse.
- Eu vou pensar a respeito, tio. Pode deixar. – Jon respondeu e percebeu que os olhos de Aemon tinham lágrimas discretas – Algum problema?
- Não, não. Você me chamou de tio. – Aemon disse – Estou velho, garoto. Velho e solitário a maior parte do tempo, lamentando a morte de boa parte da minha família. Ouvi-lo me chamar de tio me faz crer que não vou morrer sozinho.
Jon foi até o velho e lhe beijou a testa. Mesmo entre os Stark ele se sentia como um fardo a ser carregado, alguém cuja presença era tolerada. Ao menos uma vez na vida era bom se sentir bem vindo e amado. Era difícil imaginar que Aemon foi um homem temido enquanto agia como tutor dos sobrinhos. Agora não passava de um homem velho, cujos dias estavam se acabando. Jon pediu licença e saiu da sala.
A conversa com Aemon deu a ele muito o que pensar. Não era a toa que Aegon não gostava dele. Metade da fortuna Targaryen era dele por herança e Aemon o tentava com a proposta de se tornar o novo Don.
Aquela era uma brincadeira cruel. Ter seus desejos mais íntimos dançando na frente dele. Poder, respeito, fortuna, família...Era tudo aquilo que Robb esteve destinado a herdar e tudo o que Jon poderia esperar era ser útil ao primo, como um guarda costas ou consiglieri. Agora ele podia ter tudo. Estava ali, ao alcance da mão e para tornar toda oferta ainda mais interessante, Arya também estava incluída na barganha.
Ele não tinha cabeça pra esse tipo de coisa. Não naquele momento. Ele precisava de uma resposta de Arya, precisava ao menos que ela passasse mais de cinco minutos no mesmo ambiente que ele. Aquela casa estava se tornando sufocante e o silêncio dela era um incomodo sem igual.
Jon passou pela porta do quarto dela e o lugar estava trancado.
Ele bateu à porta e chamou por ela. Demorou alguns segundos antes de obter uma resposta, mas ela acabou perguntando o que ele queria. Jon encostou a testa contra a porta e fechou os olhos. Sua vontade era dizer que queria ela e nada mais. Uma chance, ou uma resposta, qualquer coisa que ela pudesse dar a ele.
- Gostaria de dar um passeio pela praia? – ele perguntou desanimado.
- Tudo bem. – ela respondeu – Me dê só um momento. – ela pediu e minutos depois Arya abriu a porta. Vestido cor de menta e chapéu cor de creme.
Aqueles dias pareciam ter despertado nela uma feminilidade misteriosa e fascinante. A garotinha que costumava usar calças e brincar com os irmãos havia sido substituída por aquela jovem destemida. A cada dia ela ficava mais bonita, como uma flor desabrochando, e vê-la tão de perto, sentir seu perfume, encarar seus olhos cinzentos, tudo isso era uma tortura lenta quando ela nem mesmo tinha coragem de conversar com ele.
Jon ofereceu o braço a ela e Arya aceitou com alguma relutância. O caminho de carro até a orla foi silencioso e ela mal conseguia erguer os olhos junto dele. Jon não tentou iniciar uma conversa para que ela não se sentisse acuada dentro do carro. Em dez minutos eles chegaram ao calçadão que contornava a praia. Jon abriu a porta do carro para que ela descesse.
Caminharam em silêncio por alguns minutos. Arya encarava o mar com fascinação. Ela nunca havia visto o mar de fato e, ao menos ele tinha que admitir que o cenário da Flórida era de tirar o fôlego. Aquele seria o cenário ideal para o passeio de um casal apaixonado, mas eles nem mesmo eram um casal.
_**Lost but now I am found**__**
**__**I can see but once I was blind**__**
**__**I was so confused as a little child**__**
**__**Tried to take what I could get**__**
**__**Scared that I couldn't find**__**
**__**All the answers honey**__****_
_**Don't make me sad, don't make me cry**__**
**__**Sometimes love's not enough**__**
**__**When the road gets tough**__**
**__**I don't know why**__**
**__**Keep making me laugh**__**
**__**Let's go get high**__**
**__**Road's long, we carry on**__**
**__**Try to have fun in the meantime**_
- Seu pai já está em casa. Está fora de perigo, pelo que eu soube. – Jon disse e o rosto de Arya se iluminou imediatamente. Ela se virou para encará-lo. Seus olhos brilhavam e suas bochechas ganharam cor.
- Oh, Jon! Falou com ele? Como ele está? – ela perguntou rapidamente.
- Aemon me contou, eu não cheguei a falar com Ned pessoalmente. – Jon respondeu enquanto pegava um cigarro da cigarreira dentro do bolso do paletó – Robb ainda está cuidando da maior parte dos negócios. Os meninos continuam no Canadá e Sansa ainda está com sua mãe. Ainda não é seguro voltar. Jaime está preso e Jeoffrey morto, assim como Renly. Stannis quer o controle do território Baratheon, mas Tywin não vai ceder tão fácil, mas as famílias estão preferindo apoiar um dos bastardos de Robert. Parece que Gendry está ficando poderoso.
- Aquele imbecil. – Arya resmungou – Não sabe a diferença entre uma pistola e uma espingarda. Quando poderei voltar pra casa?
- Ainda não sei. – Jon respondeu evasivo. Ele ascendeu o cigarro e deu uma longa tragada. Os dois passaram a caminhar pela calçada da orla.
O silêncio ficou entre eles mais uma vez. Arya parecia determinada a não falar do incidente da biblioteca e tão pouco ele sabia como abordar o assunto. Ambos dançavam ao redor daquela memória, sem saber o que fazer quando o tempo da música terminasse. Ele não poderia voltar para o Norte, não depois daquilo. Tão pouco ele queria que ela o deixasse. Com ela por perto Jon sentia mais determinado e corajoso em suas decisões.
Eles sentaram em um banco e ficaram olhando o mar e as gaivotas que planavam sobre a água tentando capturar peixes. Jon pousou sua mão sobre a dela, mas tão logo a tocou, Arya retirou a mão do lugar colocando ambas sobre o próprio colo. Ela abaixou os olhos e respirou fundo.
- Eu não tenho paciência pra isso. – ele resmungou por fim, sem conseguir conter sua frustração – Eu não tenho paciência para jogos de mulher, ainda que sejam os seus jogos. – Arya não demonstrou qualquer reação, fosse medo, ou raiva, ou vergonha. Ela permaneceu silente, encarando o mar.
- O que você quer que eu diga? – ela perguntou por fim. Droga, ela era fria como mármore, mesmo diante de uma crise. Sua garota com coração de pedra.
- Uma resposta, ou ao menos poder me aproximar de você sem que você se afaste como se eu tivesse uma doença incurável. – ele resmungou enquanto jogava o cigarro no chão e o apagava com a sola do sapato – Eu não cheguei até aqui pra ver você me olhando como se eu fosse um monstro dos seus pesadelos. Droga, Arya!
- Nós somos irmãos. Ainda que você seja um Targaryen agora, isso não muda o fato de que crescemos como irmãos. – ela disse em tom grave e determinado. Arya não se acovardava diante de ninguém, nem mesmo dele – O que vou dizer quando vir meu pai, ou Robb, ou a minha mãe? Eu sei que não devia estar aqui. Sei que a Flórida era a última opção, mas eu não consigo parar de me perguntar o que se passava na sua cabeça quando me trouxe pra cá, ou quando mentiu pra mim dizendo que estava cumprindo ordens do meu pai.
- Eu queria proteger você! – ele disse ainda em tom pouco controlado – Eu não confio em Mindinho, ou na sua tia mais do que confio em Tywin Lannister e se isso não é o bastante pra você talvez eu tenha feito isso porque não queria que fosse mandada pra longe de mim!
- É o que vai dizer pro meu pai quando o vir? – ela perguntou séria – Jon, você está se colocando no meio de um jogo muito perigoso. De um lado, aquela víbora que por um acaso é seu irmão, está louco pra enfiar uma faca nas suas costas, do outro tem a minha família que vai ficar furiosa quando descobrir os seus verdadeiros motivos pra me trazer pra cá. Eu não vou permitir, Jon. Se você já não sabe mais usar seu juízo para se manter a salvo, então eu devo tomar providência pra que não acabe morto no meio dessa história.
- Então essa é a sua desculpa? Me proteger? – ele perguntou desconfiado.
- Alguém tem que fazer isso, já que você parece ter perdido a capacidade. – ela resmungou.
- Aegon ameaçou você? – ele perguntou furioso – É isso?
- É claro que ele ameaçou, seria o jeito mais fácil de te atingir. Você é uma ameaça ao objetivo dele de se tornar o novo Don, além de ser herdeiro de metade da fortuna, mas este não é o ponto. Você não pode se dar ao luxo de se tornar inimigo do meu pai agora! – ela rosnou para ele – Jon, nós precisamos estar acima de qualquer suspeita. Se alguém souber o que aconteceu, Robb é bem capaz de vir atrás de você e ele não vai parar por nada. Você e Aegon vão estar na jugular um do outro em breve e isso é evidente. Isso eu não posso impedir. É por isso que você vai precisar do apoio da minha família, vai precisar que meu pai use da influência dele para garantir que você será o próximo Don.
_**Come and take a walk on the wild side**__**
**__**Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain**__**
**__**You like your girls insane**__**
**__**Choose your last words,**__**
**__**This is the last time**__**
**__**Cause you and I**__****_
_**We were born to die**__**
**__**We were born to die**__**
**__**We were born to die**__****_
_**Come and take a walk on the wild side**__**
**__**Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain**__**
**__**You like your girls insane**_
- Foda-se Aegon e a sua família! – Jon estava além da racionalidade – Eu não me importo com nenhum deles, eu não me importo com a posição de Don! A única coisa que eu quero é uma resposta sua, droga!
- Isso é uma mentira. – ela disse controlada – Nós dois sabemos disso, Jon. Nos conhecemos bem de mais e eu esperava que você não subestimasse minha inteligência. Poder, respeito, independência. Dar as ordens ao invés de segui-las. É o que você quer, é o que sempre quis e não tente negar. Você vai ter isso, Jon. No que depender de mim esse território vai ser seu, então não torne tudo mais difícil.
- Está me dizendo que estou sendo rejeitado pelo bem de minhas próprias ambições? – ele questionou. Jon a agarrou pelos braços, levantando-a de uma vez até que ficassem na mesma altura – Por que não disse nada antes?! Por que não tentou me impedir antes que eu tivesse a chance de deitá-la sobre a mesa?! Isso é algum tipo de jogo pra você?!
Ele sentiu algo pontiagudo pressionado contra suas costelas. Quando abaixou o rosto rapidamente pra saber do que se tratava se deparou com uma faca que Arya apontava para ele.
- Eu não sou uma das dançarinas ordinárias com quem você gritava e agia como um troglodita. Eu sou Arya Stark, quem você chamou de irmã, sua melhor amiga e eu exijo respeito. – ela disse sem vacilar e Jon se viu obrigado a colocá-la no chão – Eu não estou fazendo isso pra magoar você.
- Não, você está me rejeitando por pura compaixão. – ele desdenhou enquanto passava a mão pelo rosto.
- Eu não resisti porque eu não queria resistir. – ela disse em tom decisivo – Eu não sou de ferro, Jon. Eu queria você, eu queria me sentir segura e amada depois de todas as ameaças. Eu estava fascinada por todas aquelas sensações...Talvez você não seja o único aqui que está apaixonado, mas um de nós tem que manter a cabeça no lugar! Você é o meu bastardo e até que eu tenha certeza de que vai ficar tudo bem eu não vou dar motivos para que você tenha mais inimigos.
Ele não esperou por mais uma palavra dela. Jon ignorou a faca, os riscos, o fato de estarem em público, no momento que a segurou pela nuca deixando-a a milímetros dele. Jon podia sentir o hálito dela e foi impossível deixar passar despercebida a boca, quando Arya umedeceu os lábios.
- Diga outra vez. – ele disse em tom imperativo – Diga o que eu sou.
- O meu bastardo. – ela respondeu. Jon se inclinou mais. Seus lábios quase tocavam os dela.
- Só seu. – ele disse sem fôlego – E você é a minha garota. Quer que eu seja o novo Don? Eu serei e quando tiver conseguido não vou ouvir nenhuma desculpa sua.
Ele não esperou por uma reação dela, ou uma resposta. Seus lábios buscaram os dela com a mesma urgência que haviam demonstrado na biblioteca. Ela era feroz e prática. Letal como uma bala bem colocada entre os olhos, ou como veneno. Se ela o queria comandando uma família, ele faria isso. Se ela o pedisse para matar Aegon, Jon o mataria com todo prazer do mundo.
Por hora ele se contentaria com beijos roubados, mas eventualmente Arya seria dele. Nenhum Targaryen, Stark ou Baratheon iam impedir Jon de ter aquela garota.
_**Don't make me sad, don't make me cry**__**
**__**Sometimes love's not enough**__**
**__**When the road gets tough**__**
**__**I don't know why**__**
**__**Keep making me laugh,**__**
**__**Let's go get high**__**
**__**Road's long, we carry on**__**
**__**Try to have fun in the meantime**__****_
_**Come and take a walk on the wild side**__**
**__**Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain**__**
**__**You like your girls insane**__**
**__**Choose your last words**__**
**__**This is the last time**__**
**__**Cause You and I**__****_
_**We were born to die**_
_**We were born to die**__**
**_
_**Nota da autora: Então…Este foi um capítulo tenso de escrever por vários motivos. **__**O primeiro é que sexo sempre torna a relação de um casal mais intima e complexa, e quando acontece entre parentes tão próximos isso fica ainda mais complicado. Outra dificuldade foi estabelecer os problemas que o Jon vai ter que enfrentar daqui pra frente e como a Arya se posiciona nesse cenário. Sério, a Arya (seja no universo de ASOIAF, seja em fics) não é o tipo de garota que senta num canto e espera as coisas acontecerem, além disso ela sabe que corre perigo ali e a melhor chance de sobrevivência dela é ter o Jon como novo Don. Você vão achar o Jon meio bruto nesse capítulo e ele é mesmo. O cara passou boa parte da vida como assassino de aluguel, guarda costas e valentão profissional, ele não é delicado e bem educado, e também não lida bem com uma garota rejeitando ele. A Arya sabe que ele pode se tornar violento, mas ele também sabe que ela pode revidar. Eu espero que gostem e comentem.**_
_**Bju**_
_**Bee**_
7. Chapter 7
_**Paranoia is in bloom**__**
**__**The PR transmissions will resume**__**
**__**They'll try to push drugs that keep us all dumbed down**__**
**__**And hope that we will never see the truth around**__****_
_**(So come on)**_
Sair da mansão Targaryen estava fora de cogitação. Jon acabou percebendo que enquanto Aemon estivesse vivo, Aegon não tentaria fazer nada contra ele ou Arya, ou ao menos não enquanto eles estivessem dentro da casa. A questão é que a saúde de Aemon estava decaindo rapidamente.
Era hora de começar a armar o tabuleiro para o jogo e Jon precisava de aliados o mais rápido possível. O temor de Aemon era que os Martell ganhasse influência do território Targaryen. Dada à fama de Oberyn, Jon supunha que o ideal era encontrar um aliado que pudesse ser tão violento e traiçoeiro quanto a Víbora Vermelha. E o único nome que vinha a cabeça quando ele pensava a respeito era o de Khal Drogo.
Não era preciso ir muito longe para ouvir rumores sobre os métodos dele e até Jon tinha de admitir que Drogo era criativo. Afinal de contas, matar um delator arrancando a língua inteira, ou um mal pagador derretendo metal e jogando sobre a cabeça não era considerado como um ato mafioso. Na verdade, crueldade para Drogo era uma forma de arte, possivelmente a única que ele dominava.
Nem Daenerys, nem Aemon eram favoráveis aos planos de Aegon e se Jon tivesse sorte, Drogo também não seria. Foi por isso que eles marcaram um encontro num dos cassinos comandados pelo temível Khal.
Drogo era uma figura difícil de passar despercebida, mesmo quando estava sentado no fundo do cassino, num local bem reservado e escuro. Jon se aproximou com cuidado. Ele era o forasteiro naquele território, isso deixaria Drogo com a sensação de controle sobre a situação. Ao lado dele havia um outro homem, bem mais esguio e discreto, cujo rosto Jon reconhecia vagamente.
Drogo fez sinal para que ele se sentasse diante deles e Jon obedeceu. O outro homem estendeu a mão e logo uma garçonete seminua apareceu servindo uísque para os três.
- O Bastardo. – Drogo começou – Está ficando famoso como um bom cobrador. Ouvi dizer também que você tem talento. – a voz era grave e provocativa.
- Talento para que? – Jon perguntou cuidadosamente.
- Pro único tipo de arte que eu entendo. – Drogo disse com uma expressão divertida – É engraçado ver um Targaryen sujando as mãos, só pra variar. Acho que tem há ver com o cabelo. Deve ser difícil limpar o sangue daqueles fios platinados. – Jon riu discretamente.
- Vou considerar um elogio. – Jon comentou.
- Eu estou me perguntando se o velho já se cansou de mim pra te mandar até aqui. – Drogo provocou – Já não sou bom o bastante pra me misturar com o sangue dele?
- Aemon não tem nada há ver com isso. – Jon respondeu bebendo um gole do uísque – Eu estou aqui porque acho que temos o mesmo tipo de pensamento e eu gostaria de alguns conselhos.
- Isso sim é inusitado. Um Targaryen se dignando a pedir conselhos. Achei que sabiam de tudo. – Drogo retrucou com desdém.
- Eu não sou um Targaryen, pelo menos não completamente. – Jon disse calmo – Ned Stark sempre tentou me ensinar o valor dos bons conselhos e das boas amizades. Um homem sábio deve ter consciência de que não se pode sobreviver sozinho. – o homem ao lado de Drogo se remexeu ao ouvir o nome de Ned Stark.
- Não entendo nada de homens sábios. Não sou refinado, como pode ver. – Drogo resmungou.
- Pode não entender de homens sábios, mas entende bem o tipo de negócio que nós temos parte. – Jon disse.
- São anos de prática, rapaz. – Drogo concordou coçando o queixo barbado.
- Gostaria de sua opinião. O que acha de Aegon Targaryen? Acha que ele será um bom Don? – Jon perguntou. Drogo deixou escapar uma risada grave e seca.
- A princesinha vai afundar essa família em seis meses depois que o velho morrer. – Drogo debochou - Aegon só sabe vestir ternos elegantes e bajular as víboras do deserto. Oberyn só perde tempo com ele porque são família, mas ele não vai pensar duas vezes antes de cuspir veneno no copo da princesinha histérica. Nesse tipo de negócio você não tem que ser bonito e elegante... – Drogo fez uma pausa e encarou Jon de forma avaliativa - Tem que ser assim, como nós dois. Um tanto rude, falar pouco, mas ser capaz de fazer um homem se borrar nas calças só de pensar que podemos fazer uma proposta irrecusável.
- Aemon parece pensar do mesmo modo. – Jon comentou.
- Então o velho consiglieri não é tão caduco quanto pensam. – Drogo disse – É claro que eu poderia apoiar minha mulher pra tomar as rédeas, mas eu não quero minha Dany sujando as mãos. Melhor deixar as mulheres fora dos negócios.
- Eu às vezes gostaria de conseguir fazer isso, mas tentar colocar juízo na cabeça de Arya é impossível. – Jon comentou bebendo mais um gole.
- Hah! Eu sabia que você tinha alguma coisa com a magricela. Não me leve a mal, mas aquela menina vai quebrar de baixo de você uma hora. Seria melhor se ela fosse mais robusta. – Drogo comentou de forma vulgar – Minha Dany gosta de você. Ela diz que é um rapaz esperto. Além disso você mal chego favorito do velho. Agora eu quero saber por que você veio até aqui?
_**Another promise, another seed,**__**
**__**Another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed**__**
**__**And all the green belts wrapped around our minds**__**
**__**And endless red tape to keep the truth confined**__****_
_**(So come on)**_
- Eu não tinha nada contra meu irmão. Na verdade eu era indiferente a ele. – Jon disse sério – Não busco confusão, mas parece que ela me procura. Aegon me tornou seu inimigo e não o contrário. Nosso pai me deixou metade do dinheiro em testamento e Aemon não acha que ele está preparado para ser o novo Don. Por algum motivo ele acha que estou aqui pra tentar roubar o lugar dele.
- Olha, então a princesinha não é tão burra quanto eu pensei. – Drogo riu.
- Eu garanto, Drogo. Só vim pra cá para conhecer a família do meu pai e tirar Arya do meio da guerra no Norte. – Jon disse calmo – O problema é que Aegon achou que era uma boa ideia ameaçar a minha garota.
- Isso sim é uma coisa imperdoável. – Drogo concordou – Isso é negócio de homem. Homem de verdade não sai por ai ameaçando mulher e filho de rival. Não, isso é coisa sagrada.
- Eu também concordo. Não dá pra confiar em alguém que não respeita isso. – Jon completou – É por isso que eu preciso da sua ajuda para esclarecer as coisas com meu irmão. Aegon precisa entender que eu não estou aqui pra brincar e que Arya deve ser respeitada. Você faria o mesmo para proteger sua mulher, estou certo.
- Por que não dá cabo dele você mesmo? – Drogo questionou desconfiado – Eu já teria enforcado o desgraçado com as próprias tripas.
- Não quero matar meu irmão. Quero humilhar meu irmão. É uma diferença tênue. – Jon disse satisfeito – Ouvi dizer que ele traz garotas do México pelo território dos Martell para trabalharem nos puteiros que ele controla.
- Ouviu certo. – Drogo confirmou.
- Eu me pergunto qual seria a reação dele caso essas moças fossem barradas na fronteira do estado. – Jon comentou - E pra completar, como os Martell reagiriam com o sumiço do dinheiro que serviria para pagá-los pelos serviços de "transporte".
- Seu irmãozinho ia perde o apoio deles. Se não consegue controlar nem quem está na folha de pagamento, nem honrar seus compromissos, como você espera ser um Don? – Drogo disse sério – Eu gosto. O que vai fazer com as garotas?
- Elas podem ser deportadas, eu não me importo. – Jon disse sério – Se os Martell criarem muito problema, podemos "indenizá-los" de alguma maneira, mas de todo jeito eles não vão querer negociar mais com meu irmão.
- Você é uma cobra. – Drogo riu – O que eu ganho com isso?
- Além do prazer de ver Aegon desmoralizado? Eu serei o novo Don e dez por cento do lucro dos bordeis será seu quando eu tomar conta do território.
- E se você não conseguir ser o novo Don? – Drogo questionou – A menos que me falhe a memória, eu seria seu único aliado nesse cenário.
- Você se esquece dos Stark. – Jon completou – Ned está em dívida com você e eu pretendo estreitar nossos laços familiares. Vou fazer de minha prima uma mulher honesta. – Drogo riu em voz alta.
- Acha que Ned Stark vai concordar com isso, garoto? – Drogo questionou – A garotinha é que nem uma égua puro sangue premiada. Ned não vai deixar que ela dê cria com qualquer mestiço de boca dura.
- Não acho que ele vá ter muita escolha, se a filha dele acabar com um filho meu na barriga. Honra é o pilar dos Stark e eu admito que não sou santo quando estou perto da minha garota. Reconheço que reparos devem ser feitos neste sentido. Ned vai ter que concordar. – Jon disse sério.
- Pode ser. E pode ser que ele coloque uma bala entre seus olhos por ter roubado a garotinha dele. – Drogo respondeu desconfiado – Só vai ter minha resposta quando tiver os Stark do seu lado. Até lá eu te desejo sorte. Aegon pode ser uma princesinha histérica, mas o Grifo não é. Vai ter que se livrar dele se quiser ganhar essa briga.
- Muito bem, vou seguir seu conselho. – Jon disse conformado – Eu realmente espero que nós dois possamos chegar a um acordo eventualmente, mas até lá eu lhe desejo tudo de bom. Como Dany está se adaptando à vida de casada?
- Oh muito bem. Aquela garota é a lua da minha vida e do jeito que estamos no entendendo eu espero que essa lua esteja cheia em pouco tempo. – Drogo disse orgulhoso e Jon sorriu.
- Eu espero que esteja certo. Tomara que venha logo um menino forte e saudável que nem o pai. – Drogo apertou a mão de Jon e sorriu.
- Estou certo que sim. Se sobreviver a isso, posso até chamar você para ser o padrinho. – ele afirmou convicto.
- Agora me lembro. – Jon disse se virando para o homem silencioso que observou a conversa o tempo todo – Você é Jorah Mormont, filho de Jeor Mormont? O Velho Urso?
- Sim, eu sou. – o homem silencioso respondeu – Hoje sirvo de consiglieri para Khal Drogo.
- Conheci bem seu pai. Um dos melhores professores que eu poderia ter. – Jon disse – Quando deixei o Norte ele estava em muito boa saúde.
- Fico feliz em saber. – Jorah respondeu.
_**They will not force us**__**
**__**They will stop degrading us**__**
**__**They will not control us**__**
**__**We will be victorious**__****_
_**(So come on)**_
- Se me dão licença, eu preciso ir agora. – Jon disse de forma simpática – Drogo, Mormont, até a próxima.
Jon deixou o cassino contrariado. A negociação não havia sido tão proveitosa quanto ele esperava e agora ele tinha um impasse. Se quisesse ganhar, teria de conseguir o apoio dos Stark imediatamente. O problema é que nem Ned, nem Robb ficariam felizes ao saber das intenções dele.
Ele precisava de Arya. Precisava de uma resposta positiva dela e os Stark estariam ligados a ele duplamente e impossibilitados de exigir a cabeça dele por ter desonrado a garota. Aquilo estava se tornando medieval.
Quando ele chegou na mansão Aemon já estava cochilando em sua cadeira e Arya estava sentada ao lado dele, lendo um livro qualquer. Ao vê-lo ela se levantou e foi até ele recolher o chapéu e o paletó. Jon beijou a bochecha dela e foi até Aemon acordá-lo.
Jon ajudou o velho a ir para o próprio quarto e se acomodar debaixo das cobertas. Ele deixou o tio e foi para o próprio quarto, sem qualquer apetite. Quando abriu a porta, Arya estava lá dentro, sentada em cima da cama, fumando um cigarro. Aquela era uma visão inesperada.
Ele se aproximou dela e roubou o cigarro de seus dedos, levando-o a boca na mesma hora. Ainda tinha o gosto dela e aquele era um sabor que o agradava imensamente.
- Como foi o encontro? – ela perguntou encarando-o.
- Frustrante. – Jon disse sem qualquer ânimo enquanto desfazia o nó da gravata – Drogo parece interessado, mas não quer entrar em um negócio para perder. Ele acha que minha posição é muito instável e não vai me apoiar se eu não tiver os Stark do meu lado. Acredita que o consiglieri dele é Jorah Mormont?!
- Eu tinha ouvido rumores de que Mormont estava no sul, mas não fazia ideia de que trabalhava pro Drogo. – Arya respondeu – Acho que tentamos nos aproximar dele da forma errada. Eu vou falar com Dany. Se tem alguém que pode convencer Drogo, esse alguém é ela.
- Pode ser. – Jon disse enquanto se sentava ao lado dela na cama – Drogo não gosta que ela se envolva nos negócios.
- Não gosta, mas não vai segurá-la se ela insistir. – Arya afirmou – Vocês dois são bem parecidos nesse ponto.
- Oh, então você está insinuando que eu sou o imbecil que deixa você fazer o que bem entende nos meus negócios? – Jon questionou olhando para ela desconfiado.
- É mais ou menos isso. – ela disse rindo – Oh, babe. Você faz isso desde que eu era criança. – Jon riu baixo.
- Não tenho nem como negar. – ele admitiu – Mas Drogo tem razão em não querer arriscar. Preciso da sua família.
_**Interchanging mind-control**__**
**__**Come let the revolution takes its toll**__**
**__**If you could flick the switch and open your third eye**__**
**__**You'd see that**__**
**__**We should never be afraid to die**__****_
_**(So come on)**__****_
_**Rise up and take the power back**__**
**__**It's time the fat cats had a heart attack**__**
**__**They know that their time's coming to an end**__**
**__**We have to unify and watch our flag ascend**__****_
_**(So come on)**__**
**_
- Sabe que apesar das coisas estarem melhorando em New Hampshire, meu pai não vai se dar ao trabalho de vir até aqui. – ela disse séria.
- Ele poderia mandar Robb. – Jon sugeriu.
- Não é lucro pra ele se meter em uma disputa de outra família agora. Com Gendry no comando, os Baratheon e os Stark retomaram a velha amizade, mas os Lannister continuam sendo um problema. – Arya insistiu.
- Robert está morto, ele seria o maior empecilho. – Jon disse – Targaryens e Lannisters se odeiam desde a morte do meu pai, da mulher dele e da minha irmã. Com o apoio de Ned pra eliminar Aegon do cenário, eu poderia oferecer apoio para varrer os Lannister do mapa.
- Pode ser que meu pai concorde, mas as chances são pequenas. – Arya insistiu.
- A menos que ele não tenha como recusar. – Jon disse sério.
- E como você pretende tornar essa oferta irrecusável? Vai me sequestrar? – ela debochou.
- Não. – ele disse calmo – Vou me casar com você. Se for minha mulher, seu pai não vai arriscar sua segurança. Ele vai querer Aegon longe daqui, de preferência morto.
- Meu pai vai querer sua cabeça, Jon. – Arya insistiu – Você enlouqueceu de vez?
- Ned vai reclamar, Robb também e talvez até o tio Ben, mas depois que estivermos casados o que vão poder fazer? – Jon questionou – É contra as crenças do seu pai matar membros da família. Eu te tirei do Norte no meio da guerra e tenho te mantido segura. Caso não tenha notado, sou rico agora. E se nada disso servir pra convencer Eddard Stark, então eu faço um filho em você. Ned vai preferir morrer do que ver você com um bastardo recém nascido nos braços.
- E se eu não quiser me casar com você? – ela perguntou em tom de desafio. Jon se virou e a agarrou pelos punhos num movimento tão rápido que ela não teve tempo de reagir.
Ele a deitou sobre a cama, prendendo-a pelos pulsos e usando o peso do próprio corpo para imobilizá-la. Arya não se mexeu. Ficou apenas encarando-o incrédula e sem fôlego.
- Você quer que Aegon se torne o novo Don? – ele perguntou com a boca a milímetros da dela.
- Não. – Arya respondeu.
- Quer que ele me mate na primeira oportunidade? – ele continuou questionando, sentindo o hálito dela contra a pele de seu rosto.
- Não. – ela disse.
- Quer que ele chegue perto de você? – Jon insistiu.
- Não. – ela respondeu mais uma vez.
- Então por que acha que ainda tem outra opção nessa história, babe? – ele roçou os lábios contra os dela – Casa comigo. – uma das mãos dele deslizou para baixo da saia dela, alisando as coxas até que fosse possível driblar a roupa íntima dela e tocá-la entre as pernas. Arya deu um sobressalto.
- O que pensa que está fazendo? – ela perguntou segundos antes de fechar os olhos e sentir os dedos dele dentro de si.
- Tentando te convencer a dizer sim e deixar seu pai se opções ao mesmo tempo. – Jon disse rouco, movendo os dedos mais rapidamente, fazendo a umidade aumentar entre as pernas dela.
_**They will not force us**__**
**__**They will stop degrading us**__**
**__**They will not control us**__**
**__**We will be victorious**__****_
_**(So come on)**_
Arya fechou os olhos e mordeu o lábio inferior, enquanto seu corpo se contorcia debaixo do dele. Ela parecia dividida entre o prazer e sua vontade de recusá-lo outra vez, de dizer o quanto aquilo era impróprio, imoral, ou sabe-se lá Deus o que. Ele não queria ouvir as desculpas dela, não queria ouvir a razão, ou o que quer que fosse.
Seus dedos deslizavam em movimentos contínuos, indo e voltando, fazendo-a perder o fôlego e dizer coisas sem sentido. Os lábios dele se chocaram contra os dela, impedindo que a voz de Arya se tornasse alta de mais. Ela emitiu um gemido sofrido contra os lábios dele no momento em que Jon a sentiu se contrair inteira.
Ela estava úmida e tonta de prazer, o bastante para não ter forças para protestar quando ele desabotoou a frente do vestido dela. As mãos dele foram rápidas em livrá-la de suas roupas e para a alegria dele, Arya passou a cooperar.
Ela desabotoou a camisa dele, deixando-o apenas de regata. Jon desafivelou o cinto e abaixou as calças até a metade da coxa. Não estava no espírito adequado para ser gentil e atencioso. Àquela altura ele já estava mais do que pronto para ela e depois de mais de três semanas evitando ele, Arya ia ter sorte se conseguisse andar depois que ele terminasse com ela.
Ele a penetrou de uma vez, num movimento rápido e firme. Arya deixou escapar um grito mal contido, mas isso não foi o bastante para fazer Jon se tornar mais cuidadoso. Ele se movia num ritimo forte e os sons que escapavam da boca dela estavam a meio caminho entre o gemido e o grito de protesto.
Jon beijou o pescoço e os ombros dela. Ela a agarrou pela cintura, se lançando cada vez mais fundo, sem deixar de beijá-la um minuto se quer. Arya arranhava os braços dele e puxava os cabelos de sua nuca. Suas pernas entrelaçadas às dele.
Foi Arya quem buscou a boca dele, seus lábios ríspidos e imperativos demandavam atenção, ou talvez ela estivesse apenas tentando mantê-los silenciosos, quando o prazer já não podia ser contido. Ela se contraiu inteira em tremores quase convulsivos. Jon se moveu mais rápido e mais forte, prolongando os espasmos, até que segundos depois ele alcançou seu próprio alívio.
Os dois estavam suados e sem fôlego. Os olhos dele estavam turvos. Ele buscou pela boca dela mais uma vez. Quando tudo estivesse terminado, quando Aegon estivesse fora do caminho, quando os Stark estivessem sob controle, ele faria amor com ela tomando todo tempo do mundo e aproveitando cada toque. Mas enquanto os dois estivessem a beira do precipício, seria assim que as coisas funcionariam. A rispidez e a urgência de um casal que faz sexo sabendo que o mundo pode acabar a qualquer minuto. Sem tempo a perder.
Arya estava ofegante. Suas bochechas coradas e o cabelo grudado no rosto. Ela não olhava pra ele. Mais uma vez ela o evitava e aquilo o enfurecia além da imagina. Ele podia entender que para ela era difícil assimilar tudo o que estava acontecendo, mas...Droga! Estarem apaixonados não era o bastante?!
- Casa comigo? – ele perguntou mais uma vez, tentando não soar autoritário.
- Você vai desistir se eu disser não? – ela perguntou encarando-o nos olhos.
- Não. – Jon respondeu convicto.
- Então que outra opção eu tenho? – ela respondeu calma – Nós pedimos para que a orquestra tocasse o tango, agora temos de dançar de acordo.
- Eu te amo. – ele sussurrou contra os lábios dela.
- Eu mataria por você. – foi a resposta rouca dela, pouco antes de Jon beijá-la mais uma vez.
Juras de amor e morte. Algumas histórias de amor não nasceram para serem bonitas, apenas sangrentas. A orquestra começou a tocar o tango, os dois vestiam vermelho e negro, prontos para darem os primeiros passos.
_**They will not force us**__**
**__**They will stop degrading us**__**
**__**They will not control us**__**
**__**We will be victorious**__****_
_**(So come on)**_
_**Nota da autora: Gente do céu, eu amei esse capítulo XD. Sério, eu amei usar o Drogo na história e na minha cabeça ele é um cubano bruto e sistemático espetacular! E até o Jorah, nosso King of Friendzone, apareceu XD. A Arya totalmente maquiavélica planejando formas de desbancar o Aegon. Essa NC totalmente inesperada, mas que eu adorei. E pra quem está se perguntando "por que o Jon não mata o Aegon logo?" eu digo que é porque até certo ponto ele tem os limites dele. Ele não quer matar alguém do mesmo sangue, mesmo que seja a víbora do Aegon, até porque ele está se contendo em respeito ao Aemon. O que não quer dizer que ele não vá apoiar qualquer pessoa que esteja inclinada a fazer isso. Espero que gostem e comentem.**_
_**Bjux**_
_**Bee**_
8. Chapter 8
Aemon estava piorando e já quase mão saia do quarto. A piora na saúde do velho consiglieri tornava tudo mais urgente. A situação no Norte estava apaziguada desde que as famílias leais aos Baratheon se declararam a favor de Gendry, deixando Tywin Lannister isolado na Costa Oeste.
Jon conseguiu entrar em contato com os Stark e pedir para que Ned ou Robb fossem até a Flórida. A esta altura, todo território já sabia que Jon e Aegon estavam dançando em volta um do outro, esperando o momento de atacar. Ned Stark não era burro e saberia reconhecer a delicadeza da situação. Além disso, depois da ajuda Targaryen, seria normal espera uma retribuição.
O que Jon não esperava era receber um telegrama anunciando que Ned Stark e Robb estavam a caminho do Sul. Ele esperava apenas um dos Stark, ou possivelmente até um representante com alguma autonomia de negociação, mas aquilo era um sinal de alerta. Aquilo era para intimidar.
Arya estava inquieta desde o momento que soube que o pai e o irmão mais velho estavam a caminho. Se por um lado ela queria vê-los, por outro ela sabia que aquele não seria um encontro pacífico. A ansiedade se tornou insuportável e se antes ela tinha problemas em deixar de lado as questões morais que esbarravam na relação dos dois, agora Arya simplesmente se recusava a permitir que Jon a tocasse.
Não chegava a ser uma surpresa. Jon sabia que ela só se sentiria segura para demonstrar afeto quando tivesse uma resposta positiva do pai. Arya podia ser naturalmente rebelde, mas quando se tratava de Ned Stark ela se tornava dócil como um carneirinho. Não era segredo pra ninguém que ela era a favorita do chefe da casa Stark, enquanto Sansa era a favorita da mãe.
Estava fazendo um calor insuportável quando Ned e Robb desembarcaram na estação. Jon estava suando, mas não sabia dizer se era por calor, ou nervosismo. A cidade não era segura para seus convidados, não enquanto Aegon estivesse à espreita. Drogo ao menos foi gentil o bastante para oferecer um local seguro para que eles pudessem conversar.
Jon se assustou ao ver o tio descer do trem. Ned parecia ter envelhecido dez anos em pouco menos de três meses. Ele se movia com dificuldade e usava uma bengala pra andar. Nem de longe aquela era a imagem do homem que fazia o norte inteiro estremecer.
Robb foi até Jon e o abraçou como se absolutamente nada tivesse mudado entre eles. Como se eles ainda fossem irmãos e melhores amigos. Jon duvidava que aquilo fosse durar muito tempo.
Jon os levou até a casa onde Khal Drogo e Daenerys viviam. Uma bela mansão branca, perto do mar, com um belo jardim. Arya já estava lá, aguardando a chegada deles. Ela e Daenerys estavam sentadas no jardim, aproveitando a brisa que vinha do mar que tornava o calor mais suportável. Ao avistar o carro, Arya se levantou imediatamente.
O reencontro entre Arya a sua família foi algo que deixou Jon inseguro e involuntariamente enciumado. Ela corria até eles e os abraçava tão espontaneamente e com tamanha devoção, que Jon não conseguiu se quer olhar por muito tempo. Custaria a ela tão pouco virar as costas para ele e ir embora. Ned beijou a testa da filha e tocou as pontas do cabelo curto, com uma expressão quase tão magoada quanto a de Jon quando viu o corte pela primeira vez.
- Oh querida. O que aconteceu? Por que fez isso com seu cabelo? – ele perguntou, fazendo Arya rir.
- Descobri que era mais prático. Foi muito útil durante o caminho. – ela disse sorrindo – Bem moderno, não acha?
- Combina com você, eu acho. Sua mãe não vai gostar. – ele disse sorrindo – Como você está? Deus do céu, senti sua falta.
- Também senti a sua. – ela disse com o coração aos saltos. Em seguida ela abraçou Robb.
Após a breve recepção, cheia de abraços apertados e risos mal contidos, eles entraram. Jon pediu para falar com Robb e Ned a sós, recebendo de Arya um olhar de reprovação quase que imediatamente. Ele apreciava toda ajuda que ela estava oferecendo, mas aquele era um assunto que precisava ser tratado de homem pra homem.
Os três se trancaram no escritório de Drogo. Um lugar bem pouco utilizado já que o homem nunca fazia uma negociação, ou verificava um documento naquele lugar. Casa era um lugar sagrado para Drogo. Um lugar de descanso e segurança para ele e a mulher.
Ned e Robb retiraram os chapéus e casacos, um hábito do Norte, difícil se superar. Jon notou que Ned não conseguia andar direito e precisava usar uma bengala para se apoiar. Aquele homem que sempre pareceu tão forte e invencível estava envelhecendo diante dos olhos dele. Era doloroso olhar, mais ainda saber que ele teria de causar ao homem que ele considerou como um pai mais uma dor inevitável.
Eddard Stark se sentou em uma das poltronas e o encarou. Robb e Jon fizeram o mesmo. Ele respirou cuidadosamente, avaliando Jon como um inimigo em potencial, não como alguém que ele criou como a um filho. Robb parecia mais disposto a encarar tudo como um mal entendido.
- Muito bem, Jon. – Ned começou – Eu sei que há um pedido de apoio entalado na sua garganta e pronto para ser jogado sobre mim, mas há coisas que nós dois precisamos esclarecer primeiro.
- Ned, eu...- antes que Jon pudesse dizer qualquer coisa, Ned bateu a mão sobre a mesa, silenciando-o.
- Calado! – Ned disse com voz firme – Eu não sei o que a sua recém-descoberta origem fez com a sua cabeça, e talvez eu tenha culpa por não ter te falado a verdade antes, mas o que diabos você tinha na cabeça quando se achou no direito de tirar Arya de casa e trazê-la pra cá?! Você sabia o plano, eu havia lhe dado ordens expressas, a Flórida era a última opção e mesmo assim você me desobedeceu! Fosse eu um Don menos piedoso, eu já teria dado um fim em você! Mas você é como um filho pra mim, é o filho único da minha irmã, que Deus a tenha. É só por isso que eu estou aqui, pra ouvir um pedido de desculpas. Ouvir da sua boca que isso foi uma atitude impensada, e esquecer que isso aconteceu. Então eu levarei Arya pra casa, e se você quiser apoio pra assumir os negócios dos Targaryen, eu lhe darei. Minha irmã preferiria ver o filho comandando sua própria família do que correndo o risco de ser assassinado por seu meio irmão durante o sono. Então, Jon... Estou esperando o seu pedido de desculpas.
- Então eu sinto muito desapontá-lo, Ned. – Jon disse, encarando o tio como o mesmo olhar duro e frio. Robb se remexeu na cadeira, desconfortável com toda situação – Eu lhe consegui apoio. Não fosse pelos homens que Aemon mandou, Bolton teria dado um jeito de ganhar um bom dinheiro oferecendo a Tywin Lannister a sua cabeça. Então não, eu não vou abaixar minha cabeça e dizer que eu tomei uma atitude impensada, porque essa atitude salvou sua vida.
- E colocou em risco a vida da minha filha! – Ned rosnou – Você atravessou metade do país com ela, deixando um rastro de morte pelo caminho, porque matar o Cão de Caça foi algo muito discreto de se fazer, e a trouxe para este covil de serpentes! Você e Aegon estão a ponto de entrar em guerra e vai ser a minha filha que vai estar no meio disso tudo! – Ned abaixou a cabeça por uma fração de segundos, seus olhos úmidos – Eu não vou permitir que Arya termine como sua mãe.
- Chegou tarde, mais uma vez. – Jon disse sério, notando os olhares de espanto no rosto de Ned e Robb – Eu não pedi por um encontro apenas para pedir apoio. Eu estou aqui por uma questão de honra, porque eu de fato lhe devo explicação, mas acima de tudo porque eu tenho uma grande consideração e respeito por você. Eu vou me casar com Arya e gostaria que me desse sua benção.
- O que?! – foi a vez de Robb se levantar e encarar Jon como se ele tivesse ficado louco – Que merda é essa que está dizendo?! Não pode casar com ela, vocês são irmãos!
- Não somos, Robb. – Jon respondeu de forma controlada – Eu sempre vou considerar você, Bran, Rickon e Sansa como meus irmãos, mesmo que sejamos apenas primos. Com Arya é diferente. Chego a ficar aliviado em saber que nós não somos irmãos.
- Em honra a memória de sua mãe, eu vou fingir que não ouvi uma barbaridade dessas. – Ned disse – Arya vai pegar as coisas dela, e embarcar comigo e Robb no próximo trem. Eu mandarei ajuda em retribuição ao que os Targaryen fizeram por mim durante a guerra e isso é tudo o que farei por você.
- Ned, eu acho que não entendeu. – Jon revidou em tom firme – Eu não estou pedindo permissão pra me casar com Arya. Eu estou comunicando a você uma decisão que já está tomada. Pedi sua benção porque você é importante pra nós, o que não quer dizer que você tem o poder de alterar esta decisão.
- A menos que você acabe morto! – Robb rosnou em resposta.
- Robb, cale a boca! – Ned retrucou.
- Sabia que eventualmente essa ameaça surgiria. – Jon respondeu calmo – Gostaria mesmo que sua irmã voltasse para casa com um filho órfão de pai nos braços?
- O que?! – Ned se levantou de uma vez – Você...Eu vou matar você! Vou fazer com que se arrependa do dia em que encostou na minha filha, bastardo desgraçado! – Ned ergueu a bengala que usava para se apoiar, pronto para acertar o rosto de Jon em cheio, quando a porta se abriu.
Arya entrou com a dignidade de uma rainha e a serenidade de uma freira. Ela trazia uma bandeja com copos de suco de laranja. Ned abaixou a bengala ao ver a filha, sem saber o que fazer. Apenas os garotos Stark sabiam o quão cruel o pai poderia ser, mas Eddard nunca alterava seu tom de voz na presença das filhas.
- Parem com as demonstrações desnecessárias de força. Todos nós aqui sabemos do que cada um é capaz. – Arya disse enquanto colocava a bandeja sobre a mesa – E você tem a sutileza de um elefante. – ela disse se virando para Jon.
- Algumas notícias não podem ser suavizadas, babe. – ele disse. O rosto de Ned ficou imediatamente vermelho. – Ned estava me dizendo como ele pretende fazer com que eu me arrependa do dia em que encostei em você. – Arya respirou fundo antes de se virar para encarar o pai.
- Pai, eu sei que é difícil de aceitar, ou mesmo entender, mas eu não vou deixar Jon agora. Nem por você, nem por ninguém. – ela disse sem nenhum traço de duvida em sua voz.
- Arya, isso é ridículo. Eu não vou ficar aqui sentado ouvindo como esse desgraçado traidor a enganou, trouxe pra esse fim de mundo e seduziu você num esforço torpe de me obrigar a ajudá-lo em sua ambição de se tornar o próximo Don. – Ned disse sério.
- Jon pode ter metido os pés pelas mãos no meio do caminho, mas você o criou, pai. Você sabe o que ele é e do que é capaz. – Arya respondeu – E também sabe que eu sempre adorei ele. Jon não fez nada comigo que eu não quisesse.
- Chega! Eu não vou ouvir isso! – Ned rosnou. Robb estava sem reação.
- Pai, eu não sou mais uma criança e por mais que tenha feito o possível pra me manter afastada dos seus negócios, eu sei como as coisas funcionam. – Arya disse séria – Não pode apenas engolir a raiva, nos dar sua benção e seguir em frente?
- Ele está usando você! Ele está usando você pra me obrigar a apoiá-lo! – Ned vociferou – Você não passa de uma criança, Arya. Uma garota ingênua que se deixou levar pela conversa desse vigarista ambicioso!
- Fui eu quem matou o Cão de Caça, pai. – ela disse calma e fria como um lago no inverno – Fui eu quem disse a Jon que o único jeito dele se livrar de Aegon é conseguindo o seu apoio. Jon queria mandar tudo pro espaço quando eu insisti para que nós esperássemos a situação aqui ficar mais estável para contarmos a você que estamos juntos. Eu sei como este jogo funciona, e o senhor também. Sabe que Aegon me tem como alvo justamente porque sabe que me atingir seria a melhor maneira de atingir Jon.
- Vocês dois se colocaram nesta posição. Eu não deveria nem mesmo estar aqui, ouvindo tudo isso. – Ned disse amargurado – Eu não posso acreditar que sobrevivia àquele ataque para ver o dia em que vocês dois me apunhalariam pelas costas.
- Acredite ou não, não estamos fazendo isso por ambição, ou qualquer coisa do tipo. – Arya disse séria – Eu amo o Jon, apesar de ser difícil ignorar o passado. – Jon passou o braço ao redor dos ombros dela imediatamente e Arya encostou a cabeça no ombro dele.
- Está mesmo grávida desse desgraçado? – Ned perguntou.
- Ele está empenhado em me deixar redonda, mas até agora não há nada confirmado. – Arya disse com um toque de desafio, fazendo Eddard e Robb resmungarem em resposta.
- Isso eu não vou permitir. – Ned disse definitivo – Já que vocês dois estão determinados a seguir com essa loucura, se eu for ter um neto filho desse desgraçado, ao menos vai ser um filho legítimo e não um bastardo como o pai.
- Não pode estar concordando com isso, pai! – Robb protestou – Isso é um absurdo!
- Absurdo é eu ter um neto bastardo e uma filha desonrada. – Ned retrucou – Vocês armaram isso tudo e graças a falta de juízo de vocês eu sou obrigado a mandar ajuda para que ao menos vocês sobrevivam no meio dessa confusão.
- Vai apoiar Jon na disputa? – Arya perguntou incrédula.
- Eu teria apoiado se ele apenas me pedisse, mas agora que vocês aprontaram tudo isso eu não tenho outra opção. Não vou deixar minha filha morrer nas mãos de um playboy que pensa ser um gangster. E se você vai se casar com ele, é melhor que ele tenha uma posição respeitável. Filha minha não vai ser esposa de um ninguém. Metade da fortuna dos Targaryen não é o bastante para ter uma Stark. – Ned resmungou – Quem mais você tem ao seu lado?
- Khal Drogo e alguns homens que consegui retrucar. Bons homens. – Jon respondeu.
- Imagino que são os Black Brothers que eu ouvi falar no meio do caminho. Ao menos você tem uma reputação melhor do que Aegon. – Ned disse frio – Vai precisar se livrar do Grifo.
- Já sei disso. – Jon disse – Eu só não podia tomar uma atitude como essa sem causar uma guerra, mas agora que eu tenho você como aliado, posso tomar as devidas providências.
- O que te impediu de dar cabo de Aegon até agora? – Ned questionou – Com medo dos Martell?
- Não. – Jon respondeu – Eu não fiz nada em respeito a Aemon. Ele está morrendo e bem ou mal, eu e meu irmão somos a única família que ele tem.
- Não sou a favor de sujar as mãos com gente do meu próprio sangue. – Ned disse austero – Não há honra nisso, mas admito que as vezes não resta outra escolha. Seu respeito pelo velho consiglieri é louvável, mas poderia ter te matado e matado a minha filha. Bote um dos cubanos pra fazer o serviço, ou mesmo um dos seus Black Brothers. Depois disso essa disputa vai acabar. É assim que se resolve as coisas, garoto.
- Foi assim que fez com Brandon? – Jon o encarou em tom de desafio e Ned ficou calado.
- Eu e Robb estamos indo para um dos hotéis sob a vigilância de Drogo. Providencie os papeis. Eu só vou voltar pra New Hampshire quando vocês estiverem devidamente casados. – Ned desconversou. – Vamos Robb.
Os dois se dirigiram até a porta, sem maiores cumprimentos ou explicações. Ned saiu primeiro, com a cara séria e sem se quer olhar para a cara da filha. Robb se deteve na metade do caminho, quando Ned já estava quase fora da mansão.
Ele encarou Jon e a própria irmã com cara de incredulidade e nojo. Jon nunca esperou viver pra ver o dia em que ele e Robb seriam antagonistas de fato, mas aparentemente o dia havia chegado.
- O que foi, Robb? – Arya perguntou. Robb passou a mão pelo rosto e respirou fundo.
- O pai pode ter aceitado tudo isso, mas eu não. – Robb disse sério – Isso foi traição de vocês dois. Foi imperdoável.
- Robb, nós... – Arya não teve tempo de falar. Robb ergueu a mão num gesto que demandava silêncio.
- Eu não quero suas desculpas. – ele revidou.
Robb caminhou até onde Jon estava e num golpe ágil e preciso acertou um soco na mandíbula do primo. Jon se quer revidou, apenas aceitando o soco como se aquilo fosse uma pena pequena diante da gravidade da situação. Arya fechou os olhos e em seguida Robb saiu sem dar mais satisfações.
Uma vez sozinhos ela correu até onde Jon estava, para saber se ele não havia se machucado muito. Jon riu um riso discreto, enquanto acariciava o rosto dela.
- Não se preocupe. Comparado ao que ele é capaz, Robb me socou como se fosse uma garotinha. – Jon disse rindo.
- Isso não tem graça. – Arya resmungou e seus olhos estavam úmidos – Eles me odeiam, Jon.
- Não odeiam. Estão chateados, inconformados e confusos, mas vão te perdoar. – ele disse beijando a testa dela – E quando tivermos filhos, Ned vai ficar fascinado de mais com a ideia de ser avô pra continuar com fazendo birra. É possível que até a sua mãe comesse a simpatizar comigo.
- Isso seria exigir de mais da sua sorte. Eu não me surpreenderia se ela viesse cortar a sua garganta pessoalmente. – Arya respondeu. Jon levou a mão à nuca dela e a trouxe pra perto.
- Era verdade? – ele perguntou com a boca a milímetros da dela.
- O que? – Arya perguntou sem fôlego.
- Quando você disse que me ama. – Jon completou.
- Eu não estaria aqui se não fosse verdade. – e antes que ela tivesse a chance de dizer qualquer coisa, seus lábios estavam sobre os dela.
_**Nota da autora: E está feita a merda. Então, Ned estava disposto a ajudar, mas não esperava pela facada nas costas. Robb se sentindo traído pelo melhor amigo e pela irmã. Este foi um capítulo bem tenso de escrever e bem divertido, porque normalmente todos pensamos no Ned como um pai amoroso e gentil com os filhos, do tipo que não levantaria a mão pra bater nas crianças e então damos de cara com ele batendo de frente com o Jon em pé de igualdade. Foi interessantes imaginar as coisas por este ângulo e eu espero que tenham gostado. Sem musica hoje por falta de inspiração.**_
_**Bjux**_
_**Bee**_
End file.
| fanfiction |
Pool B Bath of the 2019 Fed Cup Europe/Africa Zone Group I is one of four pools in the Europe/Africa zone of the 2019 Fed Cup. Four teams competed in a round robin competition, with the top team and the bottom team proceeding to their respective sections of the play-offs: the top team played for advancement to the World Group II Play-offs, while the bottom team faced potential relegation to Group II.
Standings
Standings are determined by: 1 Number of wins; 2 Number of matches; 3 In two-team ties, head-to-head records; 4 In three-team ties, a percentage of sets won head-to-head records if two teams remain tied, then b percentage of games won head-to-head records if two teams remain tied, then c Fed Cup rankings
Round-robin
Serbia vs. Georgia
Croatia vs. Turkey
Serbia vs. Turkey
Croatia vs. Georgia
Serbia vs. Croatia
Turkey vs. Georgia
References
External links
Fed Cup website
Category:2019 Fed Cup Europe/Africa Zone
Fed Cup | wikipedia |
Queen's Arcade is a Grade B1 listed shopping arcade in the centre of Belfast, Northern Ireland. It runs from 2933 Donegall Place to 32 Fountain Street.
History
The arcade and the building above it were designed by James McKinnon in 1880, for developer George Fisher.
In 1919 it was acquired by Frederick W. Henry, who operated the adjacent Carlton Cafe & Restaurant at 25-27 Donegall Place.
In the 1930s, Hobart & Heron Architects carried out alterations for then resident Austin Reed Ltd. The monogram AR, in reference to the company, is still visible today on the third floor of the Donegall Place façade. The same architects carried out further works in 1937, following fire damage. The architectural firm still exists today as Hobart Heron.
During the 1980s and 1990s, the arcade was owned by Prudential Portfolio Managers Ltd. In 1987 they refurbished the building façades and installed canopies over the Donegall Place and Fountain Street entrances. They carried out further refurbishment works during 1994.
The building gained Grade B1 listed status in June 1993.
In August 2002, John H. Lunn Jewellers Ltd acquired Queen's Arcade and the adjacent building at 25-27 Donegall Place. The company had been started in the arcade nearly 50 years beforehand.
Gallery
See also
Architecture of Belfast
North Street Arcade
References
External links
Official web site
Queen's Arcade on Future Belfast
Category:Grade B1 listed buildings
Category:Buildings and structures in Belfast
Category:Buildings and structures completed in 1880
Category:Shopping centres in Northern Ireland | wikipedia |
>> to send their patches inlined into whitespace-preserving mails.
> question: what's stopping you from contributing to git?
One has to be careful that some of this is preaching to the choir.
been reviewed (rather than white spacing style) in the applying the patch? | slim_pajama |
The Kazakh semi-desert is an ecoregion in the deserts and xeric shrublands biome, located in Kazakhstan. The climate is semi-arid and continental, with a total annual precipitation of , and mean temperatures in January averaging and in July . It is a transitional area between the steppes and the deserts of Central Asia and supports flora found in both biomes, predominantly grasses, particularly Stipa species, and shrubs such as Artemisia species. A number of mammals and birds are found in this ecoregion but the habitat is threatened by overgrazing and fragmentation from human encroachment. However, a recent reduction in livestock numbers in Kazakhstan is allowing the native plants a greater opportunity to regenerate.
Setting
The Kazakh semi-desert is an ecotone between the Kazakh Steppe to the north and the Central Asian northern desert to the south, running in a band across central Kazakhstan. The climate here is semi-arid and highly continental. Precipitation averages between and annually. Mean temperatures in January range from and , while July means are between and . Annual average temperatures are around . The region's topography consists of vast, flat plains and salt flats broken by dissected plateaus known locally as melkosopochniki.
Flora
As a transition between steppes and deserts of Central Asia, this ecoregion supports flora found in both biomes. Grasses, more dominant in the north, include various Stipa species S. lessingiana, S. sareptana, S. kirghisorum and the endemic S. richterana and tipchak Festuca valesiaca. To the south, shrubs come to dominate, mainly Artemisia species A. lerchena and A. lessingiana, A. gracilescens, A. sublessingiana, A. terrae albae semiarida and A. sublessingiana. Vegetation on the saline plains consists of Artemisia pauciflora, A. schrenkiana, A. nitrosa, Atriplex cana, Anabasis salsa, and Camphorosma monspeliaca.
Fauna
Mammals in the ecoregion include the critically endangered saiga antelope Saiga tatarica, Karaganda argali Ovis ammon collium, goitered gazelle Gazella subgutterosa, Pallas's cat Otocolobus manul, gray wolf Canis lupus, European badger Meles meles and marbled polecat Vormela peregusna. Przewalski's horse Equus ferus przewalskii is native to the ecoregion, but has not been seen in it since 1968.
Avian species include the common crane Grus grus, demoiselle crane Anthropoides virgo, red-headed bunting Emberiza bruniceps, larks Alaudidae, wheatears Oenanthe, pipits Anthus spp., black-bellied sandgrouse Pterocles orientalis, Pallass sandgrouse Syrrhaptes paradoxus, steppe eagle Aquila rapax, golden eagle Aquila chrysaetos, peregrine falcon Falco peregrinus and the saker falcon Falco cherrug.
Conservation status and threats
Agriculture, overgrazing, and fragmentation of habitat from human encroachment are the main threats to this ecoregion's integrity, and its conservation status is listed as critical/endangered. However, recent and dramatic reductions in the number of livestock in Kazakhstan have resulted in large areas having a greater chance for rehabilitation. No areas in this ecoregion are strictly protected, and some refuges do not adequately preserve local ecosystems.
References
Category:Deserts of Central Asia
Category:Deserts of Kazakhstan
Category:Deserts and xeric shrublands
Category:Ecoregions of Asia
Category:Geography of Kazakhstan
Category:Palearctic ecoregions
Category:Ecoregions of Kazakhstan | wikipedia |
Alkene reactions with sodium tert-butoxide and CHBr₃
In a problem they gave me some reagents and they want me to figure out the end product.
The reagents given are:
2-butene reacting with sodium tert-butoxide and $\ce{CHBr3}$.
Now, what I was thinking was that the oxygen would pull the hydrogen from $\ce{CHBr3}$ making a positive charge on the carbon. (I'm not quite sure if the positive charge would be strong since the net dipole moment on $\ce{CHBr3}$ would be zero). However, from there, I immediately thought of a carbene reaction, yet, it has 3 bonds with $\ce{Br}$.
So, am I on the right track, and what are the next steps from here? Sorry if I didn't give you much to work with.
Strong bases react with chloroform $(\ce{CHCl3})$ and bromoform $(\ce{CHBr3})$ to form [dihalocarbenes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dichlorocarbene) by alpha elimination.
The net reaction is as follows:
$$\ce{RO- + CHCl3 -> ROH + Cl- + CCl2}$$
The base removes the hydrogen atom from chloroform or bromoform to form an anion. Remember, when you deprotonate something, the electrons stay behind.
$$\ce{RO- + Cl3CH <<=> ROH + Cl3C:^{-}}$$
The trihalomethyl anion is unstable and fragments to lose a halide ion and generate the carbene.
$$\ce{Cl3C:^{-} <=>> Cl- + Cl2C:}$$
The mechanism using arrow-pushing formalism can be found at [this website](http://www.chemtube3d.com/Carbenes-Formation%28AlphaElimination%29.html) from the University of Liverpool.
Dibromo carbene will form in the reaction for sure because *tert*-butoxide is a very strong non nucleophilic base and here dibromo carbene will form after the alpha elemination. For the next step I think there would be an insertion reaction of the carbene in the double bond of 2-butene to form a 1,1-dibromo-2,3-dimethylcyclopropane.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Now EU Kicking Spain Out of EU?
By Staff News & Analysis - February 14, 2012
EU to punish Spain for deficits, inaction … The European Union is likely to take action against Spain's newly installed government by May for delaying austerity measures ahead of a regional election next month, sources familiar with the situation have told Reuters. – Reuters
Dominant Social Theme: Spain has got to pay.
Free-Market Analysis: Yesterday we asked whether the European Union's attack on Greece was intended to drive that country out of the EU or merely assert dominance. Today we ask the same question about Spain. (See article excerpt above.)
We decided when it came to Greece that it was too soon to tell. But there are surely reports in the alternative media that Greece is to be made a kind of sacrificial lamb, an example of the "get tough" strategy of the Eurozone.
Spain's status is even less clear. Spain is a huge economy relative to the rest of the European economy. And thus the bullying that Spain is now undergoing is more likely an elite dominant social theme than a full-fledged attempt to remove Spain from the "solvent" EU.
And then again … maybe not. There are complicating factors, as we will point out toward the end of this article. These factors may be beyond the control of the EU and shadowy powers behind it.
Why would Brussels Eurocrats take aim at Spain? Well, this has been the plan all along. We don't think this current "sovereign debt crisis" erupted from nowhere.
It began when the Eurocrats gave out billions so that Southern European countries could "balance their long-term budget deficits" so that they would be eligible to join the EU. From what we can tell, these were basically bribes paid to top elites in each country.
The elites pocketed the money, or distributed to their cronies. They then ensured their countries voted to join the EU and afterward departed from power enriched by many billions. The citizens of each country, having been brow-beaten into joining, are now left to pay the proverbial piper.
Of course, Western banks lent inordinate sums to these countries as well, and we don't think that was any coincidence either. These people are not stupid. The idea that these top European bankers didn't understand that Europe was in a central banking bubble or that much of the money sloshing around Europe came from Brussels is ludicrous.
These banks, in our view, went on the hook on purpose. The idea was to create the current crisis – which in turn would give the Eurocrats the justification to interfere in local affairs, which is just what's happening. Here's some more from this article:
Asked if the European commissioner for economic and monetary affairs, Olli Rehn, would take action and recommend that the bloc's 27 finance ministers adopt sanctions against Madrid, one of the officials said: "It is very likely."
"It is not that we want to. But if there is a deviation, and it is almost inevitable, then we will have to," added the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity. Any sanction of Madrid over failure to meet its deficit goals – potentially a fine – would be separate to a Commission report on macroeconomic imbalances, which is also expected to single out Spain.
Spain has been under what's known as an excessive deficit procedure since April 2009 for breaching the EU's 3 percent of GDP deficit limit. Twenty-three of the EU's 27 members are under the procedure but now Madrid could face fines of up to 0.1 percent of its economic output for not cutting its deficit.
If confirmed, the sanctions would be a blow to new centre-right Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy who, Spanish officials say, had hoped to be given leeway on the country's deficit target in return for implementing ambitious economic reforms.
Several decades ago the idea that Brussels could interfere in the internal affairs of an EU member nation would have been scoffed at. Today it is reality and tomorrow, if the trend is not reversed, Brussels will attempt to treat member nations in much the same way that the American central government treats states.
The difference, of course, is that in the US it took a civil war to concentrate power in Washington DC. Not only that, but the Internet itself is complicating the job of sociopolitical agglomeration. What we call the Internet Reformation has assisted in the formation of protests and generally added to people's understanding of their manipulation and the ongoing centralizing tendencies of the EU.
Which brings us back to Spain (and Greece). While Spain is a country that the Eurocrats will not want to push out of the EU no matter what, the possibility exists nonetheless. This is because these are fairly ancient countries with old tribes.
Spain, in fact, is comprised of a number of independent-minded blood-clans, and thanks to the Internet, these are continually asserting their identity in ways that were not possible even a decade ago.
This means that while the Anglosphere power-elite families behind the EU and similar centralizing schemes are pushing the world toward global governance, a number of powerful trends are shoving in the opposite direction.
The EU may, in fact, wish to assert domination in Greece and Spain and elsewhere but the numbers are making it increasingly unrealistic for Brussels to insist on punitive sanctions without further inflaming citizens in these countries.
But with the economy heading for recession, Spain's deficit commitments of 6 percent for 2011 and 4.4 percent for 2012 – based on a 2.3 percent growth in 2012 – look unattainable.
Absent a war of (anti) secession, the sentiment in southern Europe may eventually turn toward further polarization rather than unification. The very tools that the Eurocrats have counted on to pursue further centralization may work against them in this era of the Internet Reformation.
Greece is showing us that citizens have limits when it comes to EU bullying. One can argue that the Greece situation has been purposefully inflamed – but there is a fine line between planned terror and unplanned chaos.
There is no doubt that the fine hand of the power elite can be seen in numerous events of "directed history" for the past 100 years or more. False-flag events have been used regularly, it seems to us, to create certain increasingly globalist results.
The difference is that these strategies are playing out on the Internet now and can be discussed and analyzed at length. The information base is building and at some point people may simply decide that the evidence as regards manipulation is so great that they will refuse to cooperate.
It is thus a fine line between what the elites can incite and what the people themselves will tolerate. This distinction will not grow any less important in the near future. The Internet is a process not an episode. Absent an effective worldwide takedown of the Internet (doubtful, in our view) these elite strategies may become more questionable over time.
Brussels has obviously had plans for its EU states. Our question remains, and it is one that we asked yesterday as regards Greece: What if the people themselves have a different perspective? Absent the Internet, such sentiments could not be realized. But now they can be. At least it seems so …
It's Now Offensive to Listen to Long Dead Russian Composers
A surprising benefit to owning gold– especially now | slim_pajama |
improper preoperative assessment and medical management generally places the patient at risk for complications , resulting from an adrenergic crisis .
this review addresses current knowledge in pre and intraoperative assessment of a patient with pheochromocytoma .
before surgery the patient is conventionally prepared with adrenergic blockade ( over 1014 days ) and subsequently , additional adrenergic blockade is required to treat any associated tachyarrhythmias . in preoperative assessment , it is obligatory to monitor arterial blood pressure , heart rate , and arrhythmias and to restore the blood volume to normal .
in conclusion , due to the pathophysiological complexity of a pheochromocytoma , the strict cooperation between the cardiologist , endocrinologist , surgeon and the anaesthesiologist for an uneventful outcome should be achieved in patients qualified for the surgical removal of such a tumor . | pubmed |
Moorefield High School is a high school located in Hardy County, West Virginia. It is one of two high schools located within Hardy County, the other being East Hardy High School. Moorefield High School was built in the late 1930s.
Moorefield high school have won 6 football championships, 2 in baseball, and 1 in basketball. Moorefield biggest sports rivalry is East Hardy High school.
Category:Schools in Hardy County, West Virginia
Category:Public high schools in West Virginia | wikipedia |
"Center of a black hole is a time"
$\newcommand{\d}[1]{\mathrm{d} #1}$In one [lecture](http://theoreticalminimum.com/courses/general-relativity/2012/fall/lecture-6) (around 1:33:15) of the series of lectures "Theoretical Minimum" of Prof. Susskind he talks about black holes and the Schwarzschild metric:
$$\d \tau^2=\left(1-\frac{r\_s}{r}\right)\d t^2 - \left( \cfrac{1}{1-\frac{r\_s}{r}} \right) \d r^2 - r^2 \d \Omega^2$$
where $r\_s$ is the Schhwarzschild radius.
He says that there is nothing funny going around for $r<r\_s$ because both $\d t^2$ and $\d r^2$ term changes sign. I'm perfectly find with this but then he says whilst discussing about black holes that *"$\;r=0$ is not a place but more like a time and that's why you can't avoid falling into black hole. You can't avoid the future."*
I really don't understand the above statement. I think he is referring to the fact that $\d t$ becomes a space component because of the minus sign and $\d r$ becomes a time component because of the plus sign but I don't even know what that means intuitively. It would be really nice if someone can explain the quote I gave above.
The Schwarzschild metric as you've written it is only one particular coordinate system and the fact that $r$ and $t$ switch roles at the event horizon is an artifact of that coordinate system. There are other coordinate systems which make certain properties of the metric more intuitive. The ones that might be most useful for you are ones which can be drawn as a Penrose diagram. In a Penrose diagram time is always up and radius is always side to side and light always travels at 45 degrees. On the [diagram of a black hole](https://higgs.ph.ed.ac.uk/sites/default/files/penrose-diagram.gif) you can see that the event horizon is just the point where all light (and therefore everything) must hit the singularity because the singularity encompasses all of its possible future positions.
What the author means is as follows. Consider the (un-normalized) vector field $\partial\_r$ where $r$ is the radial coordinate; $\partial\_r$ is thus just the vector field orthogonal to the level sets $r = \text{const.}$ or, equivalently, it is the vector field foliating said level sets.
As an aside, note that Schwarzschild coordinates are perfectly valid strictly inside the horizon as well as strictly outside, just not on the horizon itself; thus we cannot use them if we want to describe processes that evolve from the exterior to the interior.
Now $g(\partial\_r,\partial\_r)$ is a coordinate-independent quantity so it doesn't matter what coordinates we use to calculate it in the interior. We find in said interior that $g(\partial\_r,\partial\_r) < 0$ meaning the vector field is time-like. Thus the surface $r = 0$, which is a level set of the vector field, is a *space-like* surface (a space-like surface is by definition orthogonal to a time-like vector field). What this means is the singularity $r = 0$ is a *moment in time* as opposed to a point in space.
This is analogous to looking at a $t = \text{const.}$ surface in, say, a global inertial frame in flat space-time and interpreting it as the simultaneity surface of the family of inertial observers at rest in the frame, with clocks that are all synchronized. However it should be noted that in the Schwarzschild black hole interior, the family of observers corresponding to the $\partial\_r$ vector field can't synchronize their clocks if said clocks are set to read proper time because of the relative motion of these observers; they would have to adjust their clocks accordingly.
If you plot a continuous curve in spacetime, it could be a path of a body if the tangent to the curve exists and has positive squared interval.
General relativity is a geometrical theory, so everything is written in a geometrical way and the geometrical generalization is the predictions the theory makes.
So outside the event horizon your curve has to have t change more than the others, so in particular t has to change and get larger.
Inside the event horizon your curve has to have r change more than the others, so in particular r has to change and get smaller.
The Schwarzschild solution isn't clear about the horizon itself because the coordinates themselves break down there. However there other coordinate systems that are not weird there that make the same predictions inside and outside the horizon and you can track where thing that are outside go when they go through. If you do, the curves of decreasing r on the outside become curves of decreasing r on the inside.
So that is the reason that when your curve has decreasing r on the outside it starts out with decreasing r on the inside.
As for why it stays decreasing. We have to have r change (because it has to change more than the other coordinates to have a positive tangent). And since there is one + and three - there isn't room for a changing and decreasing r to turn around into a changing and increasing r.
The same thing happens with time outside the horizon there is a cone of time increasing more than space changes and a cone of time decreasing more than space changes but they only interest where space doesn't change at all. If you insist that time changes enough more than space that you get a positive tangent then you have a hyperboloid of time increasing and a hyperboloid of time decreasing and they don't intersection. So for positive unit tangents there is no way to get from one to the other on a continuous way.
Outside this means things don't start going backwards in time so it doesn't seem weird. Inside this means that if r is decreasing then it can't change to start increasing or even staying the same.
So the same reasons you have to go to the future when outside make it so that you can't increase your r when you are inside.
The equations for the inside might look less mysterious if you wrote r as t and vice versa, but they would be more complicated. Since there is a symmetry in t where the metric doesn't depend on t. So since the metric doesn't depend on t it gets a nice simple form when everything is written in terms of r. However r is your time on the inside so the metric will start crushing dynamically the
$r^2 d \Omega^2$ now just makes an angular coordinate separation becomes closer and closer dynamically as the incoming curve extends. The t coordinate represents a different direction you can turn around in but all three spatial coordinates don't affect the metric, so the metric changes dynamically and there is nothing you can do about it.
The metric changes and no matter how you fire your rockets it changes and the tidal forces get stronger and stronger. You still have a 3d space to move around in it's just that no direction gets you to your past and the metric is no longer a function of how you turn around in space and it just gets stronger and stronger.
**He says that there is nothing funny going around for r < rs because both dt² and dr² term changes sign. I'm perfectly fine with this**
You shouldn't be. When you aren't happy with some conclusion you should go back over everything with a fine tooth comb. Examine your assumptions, check your postulates, look closely at the things you've taken for granted.
**but then he says whilst discussing about black holes that "r=0 is not a place but more like a time and that's why you can't avoid falling into black hole. You can't avoid the future." I really don't understand the above statement.**
Of course you don't. Because it doesn't make sense. It's *supposed* to be general relativity, but IMHO when you read the original material you come to the conclusion that it can't be. Read the second paragraph [here](http://einsteinpapers.press.princeton.edu/vol7-trans/156?highlightText=%22speed%20of%20light%22). Also look at some of the "other coordinate systems" Timaeus referred to. See for example the history section of the Wikipedia [Schwarzschild metric](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schwarzschild_metric#History) article, and note this:
*"In 1939 Howard Robertson showed that a free falling observer descending in the Schwarzschild metric would cross the r = rs singularity in a finite amount of proper time even though this would take an infinite amount of time in terms of coordinate time t."*
That infinite coordinate time means *it hasn't happened yet, and it never ever will*. Have you ever read [The Elephant and the Event Horizon](http://www.co-bw.com/NewsTheelephantan%20theeventhorizon.htm)? It features Susskind, wherein *"if his calculations are correct, the elephant must be in more than one place at the same time".* Now take a look at this Schwarzschild-coordinate illustration from MTW. Imagine the light-cone is the elephant:
Note the t on the left? See how the picture is chopped off at the top? What's happening here is that at r=2M the elephant *goes to the end of time and back*. Draw a horizontal line at about t/M=45 and trace across from right to left. The elephant is there at τ = 33.3M, and it's there again tilted 90 degrees over at τ = 34.2M. It's in two places at once because it's gone to the end of time and back!
I don't know what Einstein would have thought of all this, but I suspect he would not be impressed, because he said this: *"As a simple geometric consideration shows, a curvature of light rays occurs only in spaces where the speed of light is spatially variable".* And what's the speed of light at the event horizon? Zero! It can't go lower than that. Which means there's no gravitational force at the event horizon, that the singularity at r = rs is *not* a coordinate artefact, and that *that's where the coordinate system stops*. You can't get past this by adopting a new coordinate system, because light has *stopped*. That's why the vertical light beam can't get out. That's *why* it's a black hole. And of course, you can't go faster than light. All of which yields a very different picture, a simpler picture, where there is no magic or mystery. Make sure you read [The Formation and Growth of Black Holes](http://mathpages.com/rr/s7-02/7-02.htm) where Kevin Brown refers to *two* GR interpretations, one of which is the frozen-star interpretation. He doesn't like it, but I do. It's [Oppenheimer's original frozen star](https://www.google.co.uk/#q=oppenheimer+frozen+star) black hole. And I think it's correct.
| stackexchange/physics |
Process of x-ray crystallography
This is a pretty basic question but I would just like some confirmation of what I suspect is true.
As I understand it, the basic idea behind x-ray crystallography is that we take our crystal and hit it with an incident x-ray beam. Then we rotate the crystal, modifying $\theta$. From Bragg's Law, $$n\lambda = 2d\_{hkl}sin\theta$$ we can then calculate $d$ at $\theta$ values where there is a diffracted beam. Ultimately we end up with a list of $d$ values.
With $d\_{hkl}$ values, from equations such as $$\frac{1}{d\_{hkl}^{2}}=\frac{(h^{2}+k^{2}+l^{2})}{a^{2}}$$ which applies to cubic crystal systems, we can find the lattice parameters.
However, we do not know what crystal system the sample is. That information can be found from the intensities of the diffracted beams.
Is this idea correct? I'm trying to read through Richard Tilley's *Crystals and Crystal Structures* text but the explanation is a bit confusing to me.
Roughly, first of all you have to make indexing of the diffraction peaaks in the pattern. So if you are sure that your sample is a single phase (no secondary phases) you can apply the second equation that you posted. If all the peaks can be indexed with that equation, you have a cubic structure; if not, you have to consider a system wil lower symmetry (tetragonal, othorhombic,...). Now indexing is carried out using specific softwares (Dicvol, Treor,...).
After that you identified the crystal system, you have to identify the space group and in this case the intensities play a major role. However, intensities strongly depends also on the atomic species constituting the crystal structure and on their concentration, that is on the distribution of the atomic species in the different Wyckoff sites of the selected space group.
The asymmetric unit is the smallest part of a crystal structure from which the complete structure can be built by applying the space group symmetry. The asymmetric unit has no crystallographic symmetry.
The intensities of the diffracted beams are determined by the contents of the asymmetric unit. For example changing the contents of the asymmetric unit while leaving it's size and shape the same will change the intensity of the diffracted beams but not their positions.
The positions of the diffracted beams are determined by the space group symmetry. These positions are used to determine the space group symmetry, but give no information about the contents of the asymmetric unit.
From the [Wikipedia article on X-ray crystallography](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-ray_crystallography):
>
> X-ray cyrstallography is a tool used for identifying the atomic and molecular structure of a crystal, in which the crystalline atoms cause a beam of incident X-rays to diffract into many specific directions. By measuring the angles and intensities of these diffracted beams, a crystallographer can produce a three-dimensional picture of the density of electrons within the crystal. From this electron density, the mean positions of the atoms in the crystal can be determined, as well as their chemical bonds, their disorder and various other information.
>
>
>
From the section *"X-ray diffraction"*:
>
> Crystals are regular arrays of atoms, and X-rays can be considered waves of electromagnetic radiation.
> Atoms scatter X-ray waves, primarily through the atoms' electrons. Just as an ocean wave striking a lighthouse produces secondary circular waves emanating from the lighthouse, so an X-ray striking an electron produces secondary spherical waves emanating from the electron.
>
>
> This phenomenon is known as elastic scattering, and the electron (or lighthouse) is known as the scatterer. A regular array of scatterers produces a regular array of spherical waves. Although these waves cancel one another out in most directions through destructive interference, they add constructively in a few specific directions, determined by Bragg's law:
> $$2d \sin \theta = n \lambda$$
>
>
> Here $d$ is the spacing between diffracting planes, $\theta$ is the incident angle, $n$ is any integer, and $\lambda$ is the wavelength of the beam. These specific directions appear as spots on the diffraction pattern called reflections. Thus, X-ray diffraction results from an electromagnetic wave (the X-ray) impinging on a regular array of scatterers (the repeating arrangement of atoms within the crystal).
>
>
>
About the different investigations in the crystalline arrangement of atoms some details are available below.
From the section *"Crystal symmetry, unit cell, and image scaling"*:
>
> The recorded series of two-dimensional diffraction patterns, each corresponding to a different crystal orientation, is converted into a three-dimensional model of the electron density; the conversion uses the mathematical technique of Fourier transforms, which is explained below. Each spot corresponds to a different type of variation in the electron density;
> the crystallographer must determine which variation corresponds to which spot (indexing), the relative strengths of the spots in different images (merging and scaling) and how the variations should be combined to yield the total electron density (phasing).
>
>
> Data processing begins with indexing the reflections.
> This means identifying the dimensions of the unit cell and which image peak corresponds to which position in reciprocal space.
> A byproduct of indexing is to determine the symmetry of the crystal, i.e., its space group.
> Some space groups can be eliminated from the beginning. For example, reflection symmetries cannot be observed in chiral molecules; thus, only 65 space groups of 230 possible are allowed for protein molecules which are almost always chiral.
>
>
> Indexing is generally accomplished using an autoindexing routine. Having assigned symmetry, the data is then integrated. This converts the hundreds of images containing the thousands of reflections into a single file, consisting of (at the very least) records of the Miller index of each reflection, and an intensity for each reflection (at this state the file often also includes error estimates and measures of partiality (what part of a given reflection was recorded on that image)).
>
>
> A full data set may consist of hundreds of separate images taken at different orientations of the crystal. The first step is to merge and scale these various images, that is, to identify which peaks appear in two or more images (merging) and to scale the relative images so that they have a consistent intensity scale. Optimizing the intensity scale is critical because the relative intensity of the peaks is the key information from which the structure is determined.
>
>
> The repetitive technique of crystallographic data collection and the often high symmetry of crystalline materials cause the diffractometer to record many symmetry-equivalent reflections multiple times.
> This allows calculating the symmetry-related R-factor, a reliability index based upon how similar are the measured intensities of symmetry-equivalent reflections,[clarification needed] thus assessing the quality of the data.
>
>
>
| stackexchange/physics |
this randomized controlled trial was conducted at harvard pilgrim health care , a not - for - profit health plan . a flow diagram of study participation
is shown in supplementary figure 1 ( available in an online appendix at http://care.diabetesjournals.org/cgi/content/full/dc09-2332/dc1 ) . in 2006
, we identified all 35,065 adult health plan members with diabetes , 95% of whom had type 2 diabetes .
we limited the sample to individuals with no insurance claim for a dilated eye examination in the prior year and no claim for one or more of the following tests : a1c , ldl cholesterol , or microalbumin . from 5,140 eligible patients , we randomly selected 1,200 individuals and randomly allocated them to the intervention ( n = 600 ) and usual care ( n = 600 ) groups .
we mailed a letter to all 600 patients in the intervention group , informing them that they would receive a series of automated calls from harvard pilgrim to support their diabetes care .
in particular , we conducted a series of interviews with harvard pilgrim patients and physicians to characterize their willingness to interact with ato - sr and identified topics of interest ( 8) . the computerized system placed three calls to the participants ' home telephone numbers , encouraging the participants to fulfill recommended testing if it had not been performed in the preceding year .
the computerized system used speech recognition to respond to participants with segments of recorded text spoken with a human voice .
the automated system offered a live telephone call back to assist in scheduling tests and also offered to send participants the following items : 1 ) a voucher that would allow the provider to waive the co - payment for a dilated eye examination ; 2 ) an educational nutrition video ; 3 ) a cookbook ; or 4 ) a pill box .
for each of the three intervention calls , the automated telephone system made up to six attempts to reach the patient , leaving up to two messages requesting a call back .
the primary outcome measure was the completion of a dilated eye examination among individuals without evidence of examination in the preceding year .
secondary outcome measures were the completion of a1c , ldl cholesterol , and microalbumin testing .
we used the kaplan - meier method and log - rank test to assess the differences between the intervention and usual care groups in the time to the receipt of recommended testing and segmented proportional hazards regression to account for baseline differences in measured variables and for differential completion of testing prior to the intervention .
we used the kaplan - meier method and log - rank test to assess the differences between the intervention and usual care groups in the time to the receipt of recommended testing and segmented proportional hazards regression to account for baseline differences in measured variables and for differential completion of testing prior to the intervention .
compared with the usual care group , the intervention group was younger ( 50 vs. 52 years , p = 0.02 ) and had a greater proportion of men ( 64 vs. 41% , p = 0.04 ) ; the groups were comparable on other socio - demographic measures and clinical indicators as shown in supplementary table 2 .
the factors associated with call participation are shown in supplementary table 3 . in the primary analysis
, there was no difference in the time to the completion of a dilated eye examination and no difference in the time to the completion of a1c and microalbumin tests ; the intervention group had a shorter time to ldl cholesterol testing ( p = 0.045 by the log - rank test ) .
, there was no difference between the intervention and usual care groups in the time to a dilated eye examination ( adjusted hazard ratio [ hr ] 0.93 [ 95% ci 0.711.22 ] ) and no effect on times to the secondary outcomes of a1c testing ( 0.72 [ 0.381.37 ] ) , ldl cholesterol testing ( 1.31 [ 0.563.05 ] ) , and microalbumin testing ( 1.14 [ 0.691.89 ] ) .
in this randomized controlled trial , only 39% of health plan members randomized to the automated telephone outreach interacted verbally with the system .
previous studies have shown modest effects of automated telephone outreach interventions to improve diabetes care , although those interventions capitalized on the involvement of a nurse or a diabetes educator ( 6,7 ) . to enhance the participants ' engagement ,
this study included token gifts , which could reasonably be included in a real - world intervention program , but these gifts appeared to have no effect on the outcome .
the intervention appeared to fail in part because a majority of targeted patients did not meaningfully interact with the system .
first , the intervention was designed to rely on automated systems rather than human interactions .
second , the high overall rates of recommended testing in our health plan population and the study 's focus on members who had not completed testing in the prior year may have limited effectiveness .
third , although we compared ato - sr with usual care , comparing this approach with a telephone intervention using human callers would also be useful .
fourth , some patients may have been told by their doctors that they do not need to obtain an annual eye exam .
because this was a randomized trial , these patients were likely distributed with similar frequency in both study groups , making confounding unlikely .
automated telephone outreach may be a valuable adjunct to programs for improving diabetes care in large populations .
as with any technological intervention , refinement of this approach may enhance its effectiveness ; this negative study does not rule out the potential for future success . to be effective , these interventions need to incorporate methods for ensuring greater participation , possibly through a partnership with clinicians .
further research is also needed to understand the characteristics of patients who may resist this type of intervention in order to develop alternative approaches that might be more effective . | pubmed |
How to make lead nitrate from pure lead
Is it possible to add copper nitrate solution and lead so that a single displacement reaction occurs to yield lead nitrate. I recently melted lead and added cooper nitrate to the molten lead. I then collected the copper nitrate solution I had poured and repeated the process of melting the lead and pouring the solution over it. I figured that eventually the copper will be displaced by the slightly more reactive lead. Will this method yield lead nitrate?
I am not sure of putting copper nitrate to lead. But the common way to produce lead nitrate is to put lead into nitric acid. It will produce lead nitrate and hydrogen gas.
$\ce{Pb + 2HNO\_3 -> Pb(NO\_3)2 + H\_2}$
If you have lead oxide instead of lead it also can priduce lead nitrate by adding to nitric acid
$\ce{PbO + 2HNO\_3 -> Pb(NO\_3)2 + H2O}$
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Harry Potter, Naruto 1. Intro
I may as well try another time. Sorry about this, considering I never really update any of my other 2 stories, but I can't seem to focus on just one thing at a time.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, besides the OC and plot.
(P.S.-The Naruto characters are all 15/16, shippuuden versions. Sasuke has come back as well, still an angsty bastard and blah blah blah, he lost to Naruto in a fight and Naruto, basically dragged him back to Konoha. And team Kakashi is under Kakashi again, but Yamato drops by once in a while. (Sai is also on the squad as well.)
_**STORY START**_
It was another bright, sunny day in Konohagakure no Sato, everyone moving around, going by their day as per usual, the ninjas, training or on missions.
Team Kakashi was once again, waiting for their sensei, as he was late, once again. Naruto was sitting on the ground, grumbling, with a bump on his head, given by Sakura, as he was yelling and complaining about how Kakashi-sensei was late. Sai was sitting on the ground with his drawing pad, drawing the scenery around them. Sakura was sitting against a tree, looking through a medical book that Tsunade had given her, and Sasuke was sitting on the ground, also leaning on a tree trunk, glaring at nothing in particular.
Suddenly, Naruto jumped up, which caused Sakura, Sai, and Sasuke to stop what they were doing, and stare at the blonde with raised eyebrows.
"Damn it! Where is Kaka-sensei? I want to train!" Naruto shouted, causing Sakura to sweatdrop, while Sai and Sasuke just sighed.
"Yo…" Kakashi said, as he appeared behind Naruto in a swirl of leaves. Naruto jumped and turned around, a shocked look on his face.
"Kakashi-sensei/Kaka-sensei/sensei/…" The three said, as Sasuke just said nothing. Kakashi did his eye smile, and then looked at them seriously. All four perked, even Sasuke and Sai, wondering what would cause Kakashi to be serious.
"The Hokage wants to see us, and the entire Rookie nine plus Gai's team in her office now." He said to the four. They nodded and stood up after packing their belongings and strapping their backpacks on. The five ran towards the Hokage tower, and arrived to see that all the other teams were there, plus a woman of about 27, stood in the Hokage's office. The woman was about 5'6", with long brown hair, highlighted with chestnut tints that reached to the middle of her back and was tied with a ribbon at the nape of her neck, her hair was parted from the left side which caused some of the shorter strands to come down over the right side of her face, but only a few strands covered her right eye, as to allow her to still be able to see clearly and easily. The woman also had brown-green eyes. She was wearing the standard ninja headband around her left upper arm and wore baggy, black Capri pants decorated with an orange and red dragon. Elastic circled around the bottom so she could pull them up to go around her shins, which she had done today. A kunai pouch around her right thigh, standard ninja sandals, although hers were black, and a black sleeveless leather vest with no pockets and a zipper down the middle. A white sleeveless undershirt which poked out at the edges of the vest. Konoha knew her to be Tsubasa Akira.
"Alright, now that we're all here, you all have a new mission. It is a long mission, it will last for a year or longer, it all depends." Tsunade said as Team Kakashi settled into the chairs that were present in the room. Whispers went through the room about how long the mission was but they were silenced by Tsunade with a wave of her hand.
"Alright, this is a lay down of your mission. Apparently, there is a magic school in some part of Europe called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and their Headmaster, Dumbledore, has called for help, as there is suspicion that their Dark Lord is back. He wants you to go to the school and protect the students, especially a certain trio of students, which seem to call trouble to them. You chunins are to become students there, while the adults are to help out the teachers, while everyone guards the school. Any questions so far?" Tsunade finished, looking around at everyone. Akira subtlety winced when Hogwarts was named, but hid it quickly so as to not worry anyone.
'No one seemed to have any questions so far.' Tsunade thought as she peered around the room. But then she saw Naruto, he was waving his hand in the air looking eager. Tsunade sighed. 'Oh, boy.' She thought.
"Yes, Naruto?" She asked dreading the question.
Naruto grinned, "Hey Obaa-chan, when are we leaving and who is the trio?!" He shouted.
Tsunade's eyebrow twitched at the nickname, and replied, "You are leaving in 2 hours, so pack and come back here. Dumbledore is going to send you someone to help you get all of your supplies for Hogwarts, so you can ask him or her then."
Naruto nodded in response and Tsunade, seeing there were no further questions dismissed them.
The ninjas shuffled out one by one, and went along to their respective homes.
2. Packing
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Disclaimer: I own nothing. : P Except for Rachel Kisaragi.
Okay, I know I just posted something, but I'm bored and wanted to do this, to try and get AMAZINGLY INTERESTED in this story so I'll try and continue.
Rachel's POV
I sighed as I walked toward my apartment, dreading the two hours before going back to Hogwarts. Yes, I do know what Hogwarts is, unlike all the other ninjas. Before I came to Konohagakure at age 19, I went to Hogwarts as a student for 7 years. I had moved from America, to go to Hogwarts and it was possibly the best thing I could have done, I loved it there in Hogwarts, it was so fun and interesting. I made friends with Lily Evans or Lily Potter, I chuckled, and I always did tell her that she would end up with Pott-James. But then, something happened, I don't want to talk about it right now though.
As I arrived at my apartment I looked around, trying to take in all the sights before I started packing. My apartment was a light blue color, like the sky on a cloudy day, and had the essentials, a kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and a T.V. room. The kitchen was a few feet away from the door to the right, and was a normal sized kitchen, it had an island counter with the stoves on it, and then there was a counter beyond that that held the oven, dishwasher, and other stuff, while the refrigerator was to the right of the counter. The floor of the kitchen was light purple tile, which went in some odd pattern. There were also over head cabinets, where I kept the plates, cups, bowls and some of the food. There was a pantry on the left side of the counter which housed the other food, like cereal and snacks.
The bathroom was across the hall from the kitchen, which was very convenient, and had white walls, with black floor tiles. There was a mirror to right, a couple of feet away from the door, which was above the sink which held my toothbrush and toothpaste, as well as a few skin care products, like lotion, 'Hey I don't like the feeling of dry skin.' and face cleanser. Then under the sink was a cabinet that held women's essentials, which I won't name, then the white toilet was next to the sink in the far right corner of the bathroom. On the left side of the bathroom was the shower, just a regular square shaped shower that was black tiled.
The T.V. room was the room nearest to the door, right where you walked in. This room had dark blue fluffy carpet, two big black plushy chairs and couch, and the T.V. was on the other side of the couch and chair. Next to the couch was a table that had a lamp and telephone on it. On the wall next to the couch there was also a big book shelf, filled with all different kinds of books, mostly fiction.
The bedroom was the last room, which was next to the bathroom. My bedroom was navy blue, with stars all over the ceiling of it, and had soft black carpet. I had a queen sized bed, which was covered with a dark black and silver comforter, and black and silver pillows. Next to my bed was a cherry wood desk that had my laptop on it along with my ipod, and numerous DVD's. I also had Chinese style lamps around the room that were swirled with blue and black. There was also a closet and dresser to the left of my bed, opposite to the desk.
After I turned on the lights, I went into my closet and grabbed my huge black suitcase out of it and threw it onto the bed. I went through and grabbed all the clothes from my dresser into the suitcase, and also grabbed the stuff from my closet. I went over to my desk and grabbed the DVD's and threw them in as well, I remembered that Hogwarts allowed electronics to work for hours without needing a charger, which I found awesome. I then grabbed my laptop and put it into my laptop bag. I then went into the bathroom, and grabbed all the stuff in there and threw that in as well. I went into the kitchen, and grabbed the little snacks and food that I had left, which was like nothing considering, I forgot to go shopping for a week, and threw that stuff into the suitcase as well. I then grabbed my ipod and put it into my pocket, and zipped up the suitcase. I looked at the time on my clock which was on my nightstand, and saw that it was about time to go to the Hokage's office.
I took one more look around the room, and turned of the lights after grabbing everything I needed, and locked my apartment door, heading for the Hokage's office.
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Review!! Please!!
3. Arriving
Thank you, goldenlilies and TheEveningStar for your favorite and story alerts
Thank you, **goldenlilies **and **TheEveningStar** for your favorite and story alerts!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Harry Potter or Naruto however I do own Rachel and most of the plot.
Sensei: teacher or professor
-san: Mr., Mrs., and Miss, Sir, or Madam
-Sama: used for those superior to ones self (a term of respect)
Rachel's POV
As I walked to the Hokage's office I met up with Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Shikamaru, and Choji. As we walked, Naruto started jumping up and down, with a grin on his face. Choji and I grinned while Shikamaru and Sakura just shook their heads smiling, while Sasuke just scoffed.
"I can't wait! Yatta! We're going to Hoggywarts, Hoggywarts!," Naruto stopped here with a puzzled look on his face while everyone else shook their heads amused at his mispronunciation of Hogwarts, "Why do they call it Hoggywarts? Who would want to go to a school that's named after warty hogs?" Naruto questioned. At this all the other ninjas looked puzzled as well; I just stared at them through eyes full of mirth and laughter, which I quickly hid as they all turned to me.
I shrugged and started to walk again. "Maybe we'll find out if we get there soon." I called over my shoulder which made them run to catch up with me.
We all eventually arrived at the Hokage Tower to see that everyone else was already there besides Kakashi, but he was Kakashi, he was always late. Sakura went over to the other chunins girls, Naruto, Shikamaru, and Choji went over to talk with Kiba, Shino, and Lee, while Neji and Sasuke stood in two different corners of the room. I went over to Kurenai, Asuma, and Gai.
"Hey guys, where do you think Kakashi is this time, and what do you think his excuse is?" I asked, smirking. The other Jounins smirked as well, while Gai suddenly had his Youthful gaze burning bright. As we all looked at him, we sweat dropped and I regretted even mentioning Kakashi.
"My eternal rival is late once again! What has caused him to be so late!?" Gai yelled with fire in his eyes. Everyone in the room sweat dropped, except for Lee, who was just looking at his beloved sensei with big, round confused eyes.
At this moment, Tsunade walked in twitching, pulling something behind her. As she walked further into the room, we all saw that it was Kakashi she was dragging. We all sweat dropped at his appearance; he had swirly eyes, and his right eye was black and blue as if someone had punched him, which wasn't all that hard to believe. Naruto and Kiba started laughing hysterically, while everyone else just sweat dropped and shook their heads at the sight, however Neji and Sasuke just scoffed and Hinata just giggled a bit.
Tsunade took her seat in front of the room after Kakashi woke up from his lovely nap, and motioned for all of us to sit down.
"Ok, let's get down to business, shall we? You are to go to England and meet up with a man named Hagrid in the Leaky Cauldron, where you are being transported, which we will get to in a moment. He will then take all of you to Diagon Ally, which is where you will get your supplies. While in Hogwarts, you are to look after a certain trio of students that get into trouble often, who of which Hagrid-san will inform you of when you arrive there. The chunins will be 5th year students, while the Jounins will be teachers, you will get your assignments there. You will be protecting the school from dark wizards, or what they like to call Death Eaters and their Dark Lord, or Voldemort. Keep on your guard because there may be Death Eaters inside this school, or around it. The students will take night shifts in order to protect the school, with the teachers, however make sure none of your techniques or weapons are seen, unless it is an emergency, as their 'Ministry' has sent in officials to see what happens in the school. Watch out for them too, they are not to be trusted. I will be sending people over periodically to get your reports. You will leave here in approximately 1 minute by port key, which is a wizard device that transports you to one place from another." here she shows us the port key, it was an old boot. We all nod, and she tells us to grab our things and get ready.
We all stood and grabbed the boot, Ino and Sakura, somehow not complaining. I started counting down in my head. '10...9...' Here Tsunade shouted out to us, "Oh, and Gaara and his siblings are coming as well. They'll see you there." We all twitched, thinking, 'How could she have left that out?'
The count down was over, and I felt a sudden tug at my bellybutton. When my eyes refocused, I quickly let go of the boot, as did everyone else, and landed safely on my feet. I looked around and spotted Kakashi and snorted, he was calmly reading his stupid perverse book with his suitcase in his other hand. Then I spotted Asuma and Kurenai who were standing calmly, also looking around with suitcases in hand. I looked around at the clearing we had landed in; it had lush, green grass, blowing in the breeze, and big oak trees that had branches swaying with the wind. I then spotted all the kids, and chuckled, they had obviously not taken their first port key ride well. Sakura, Hinata, and Ino had pale green tinted cheeks, while Tenten was there looking just a bit pale. The guys were a bit better, Sasuke and Neji just landed in a hilarious position, knees bent, arms stretched out, and looking as if they just swallowed a lemon. Shikamaru, Shino, and Choji looked a bit green but otherwise perfectly fine, while Naruto and Kiba,…. This is where I stopped and laughed, which caused Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai to turn and look at me. I pointed to Naruto and Kiba and they too started laughing. Kiba had landed on his butt, and was now dancing around holding his butt in pain, howling, with Alkmaar, who looked like he was laughing, by his side. Naruto, on the other hand, had landed on his face, and slowly his other limbs started to fall. Splat I winced, 'Well there went Naruto's body', I thought. Naruto slowly picked his face up off the ground, and looked at me. My mouth was twitching like crazy, until I couldn't hold it in anymore, and laughed. I laughed and laughed, which caused everyone else to start laughing, except for Shino, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Choji, and Hinata. Shino, Sasuke, and Neji just snickered a bit, with smirks on their faces, while Shikamaru just thought it would be 'too troublesome', Choji was eating, and Hinata didn't want to laugh at her crush.
Suddenly, something moved underneath my feet, and I was suddenly thrown off, into the air. I yelped in surprise, but luckily Kakashi caught me before I hit the ground, and set me down on my feet. I thanked him, and turned to look at where I had been standing. There stood a mud caked Gai, hands up in the air, panting. I laughed sheepishly, "Oops, sorry Gai, didn't see you there.", as I said this I scratched the back of my head, embarrassed. Gai, however, was apparently not mad, because he just grinned, and blinded me with his shiny teeth and eyes. I blinked rapidly, and shook my head, trying to get it clear of the stars.
"Alright everyone, let's head towards the Leaky Cauldron." Kurenai stated, taking charge. We all nodded, Gai now free of mud and dirt.
We spent hours of time searching, until finally, I dug up an old memory, and pointed us in the right direction. We arrived there with our suitcases, to find Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, and Hagrid, who was half giant, so he was a big fellow. I smiled, thinking about the time when I had first met Hagrid.
"Alright, you are the other ninjas right?" Hagrid asked, I shook my head clearing it of such thoughts, and nodded with everyone else. Hagrid nodded and led us to the back of the Leaky Cauldron. He stopped in front of a solid brick wall, which confused the other ninjas.
"Alright, here we go the passage way to Diagon Ally, everything you need for Hogwarts will be in there." Hagrid said taking his umbrella out of his jacket, and tapping the bricks.
Normal POV
The ninjas watched as the brick wall folded in on itself, and uncovered an ally way filled with people, who were obviously witches and wizards. They all looked around in awe, looking at all the magical things.
"This is Diagon Ally, where you will be getting your books, wands, robes, trunks, supplies, and animals if you so wish." Hagrid said, smiling at the ninja's awed faces, though some looks were more hidden then others.
4. Diagon Alley And I'm SORRY
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Harry Potter or Naruto, however I did manage to own Rachel Kisaragi, and this story. : ) PLZ REVIEW!!
IMPORTANT:
XD... I tried and failed at trying to create a -man/Harry Potter crossover, and instead thought about this story, so here I am. Also, I'm having a poll on who should be with Rachel, or you guys could just right what you want the pairings to be in the reviews.
IMPORTANT!!2:
Ok, I changed my mind about something, no matter how impossible it is, I'm making everyone of Harry Potter, except the students and some others, 6 years younger, so the last of the Marauders are now 29, because Kakashi and all the other teachers are too old. :(
(Oh, and Rachel's hair is not waist length, it is only to the mid back)
-sensei: teacher/professor
-sama: superior, or someone you respect
-san: Sir/Madam
-chan: close friends, usually with girls
teme: bastard
Normal POV
Hagrid walked the ninjas through Diagon Ally, answering the young ninjas questions, while the adults and some of the less talkative ninjas looked around at the sites.
"Alright now, we have to go to Gringotts first, to get the money for our spendings today, oh, and be sure not to steal anything, you don't want to get the Goblins of Gringotts angry." Hagrid said, standing in front of a huge white building that said, 'Gringotts'. The Jounins' raised an eyebrow at the threat underneath, while some of the younger ones, *****cough*****Naruto*cough* grimaced and followed hurridly after Hagrid. Everyone else shook their heads and followed after them.
After Gringotts
"I want to go on that ride again!! IT was awesome!!" Naruto screamed, fist pumping in the air. Hagrid, a bit green in the face, quickly shook his head, along with most of the other chunins. The Jounins just chuckled, while Sakura, annoyed with Naruto's jumping and wacked him over the head which caused another chain of events. Naruto's head shot forward and he stumbled back, a goose egg on his head, he grabbed his head in pain and got a kicked puppy look on his face. Everyone laughed or chuckled at him, shaking their heads.
Hagrid then shook his head, and told them that they had to keep going. The ninjas nodded, and they went on.
After having gotten the books, trunks, and supplies, they arrived at 'Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions'. They met with an old witch that got them situated in a line. Naruto was first.
As the women started tailoring him, he saw what he would have to wear and immediately started to yell. "What the?! No way am I wearing a dress, nuh-uh, no way!" Naruto yelled, while holding up his arms in an x-motion. He tried to get off the stage that they had set up there, but Rachel grabbed him quickly, being the one who was closest to him in line, she was next.
"Naruto, you have to, just go along with it, or I swear I will make you wear it everyday, every hour." Rachel said with a threatening look in her eyes, glaring up at Naruto. Naruto gulped and quickly nodded, not wanting to wear the 'dress' more then he had to.
Seeing that the argument was over, the tailors got back to business and started working faster then before, not wanting another argument to happen.
After about 45 minutes everyone was done, and ready to go onto the next shop. Hagrid led them to 'Ollivander's' wand shop, where he left them.
About an hour later everyone got their wands and paid, then left the shop. They met up with Hagrid outside of the shop and he took them to Magical Menagerie, a magical creature shop, that had all different types of animals.
The big group went into the cramped little shop and started to look around. Because they already had a pet or they did not want a pet, Temari, Kankuro, Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, Gai, Neji, and Sasuke stayed outside the shop.
Inside the shop, Naruto, Hinata, Tenten. Ino, Sakura, Gaara, and Rachel were looking around at all the pets. Naruto, excited was zipping around the store, looking at the pets with wide, excited blue eyes. Gaara sighed and followed after the overly excited teen. Rachel smiled and shook her head at Naruto's antics, she then started to look around with the other girls.
----------------------------------------------Naruto/Gaara's side------------------------------------------------------
"oo, oo.... Gaara look at this!" Naruto shouted looking at a small raccoon. The raccoon was about 10 inches long, and was a little chubby, and it also, strangely enough had a few blue vein-like lines on it's body. Gaara blinked at it, looking at the blue lines that reminded him of Shukaku. "You should get it Gaara! It's cute!" Naruto exclaimed. (A.N.- pic of raccoon ., just imagine faint blue vein-like lines on parts of its body.)
Gaara deadpanned, only Naruto could call something that reminds people of a big, fat and insane raccoon demon, 'cute'. Gaara sighed and looked at the raccoon again. The little raccoon stared up at him, with it's head cocked to the right. Gaara then looked at Naruto ...he was looking at him with puppy dog eyes. Gaara sighed and nodded. Naruto grinned in response, and started to again look around at all the animals, with Gaara following behind him, carrying the medium sized cage that held the small raccoon carefully.
Naruto stopped at another medium sized cage, staring inside in shock. Gaara, wondering what could possibly be wrong, looked in as well. There in the cage was a small red fox kit, but instead of having one tail, it had nine. Gaara and Naruto looked at each other, then looked back down at the little fox. After a few seconds of thinking, Naruto suddenly grinned, making Gaara sigh. 'He's going to get the fox isn't he? Knowing him, he'll train it to help him with pranks, either that or the fox will outsmart him, and end up making Naruto's life a living nut house...' Gaara stopped here, thinking. 'The latter event is more likely, isn't it?'
"Gaara! Can I get it, huh, huh??!!" Naruto asked bouncing slightly on his feet. Gaara sighed and gave up on trying to stop Naruto from getting the Kyuubi clone. Gaara nodded. "YATTA!!" Naruto shouted, as he excitedly grabbed the cage and started to fast walk to the payment counter. Gaara shook his head, and started after him, looking at his small raccoon.
---------------------------------------------------Girls' Side-------------------------------------------------------------
"Awww...look at all the cute animals in here!" Sakura exclaimed looking around the store. Although the girls were in the shop, they were just looking around, they didn't want an animals, they just liked to look at them.
"Wait, Rachel-sensei, why are you in here? Don't you have enough pets already?! You have 3 puppy's, and a grown dog already! And they are so hyper!" Ino exclaimed, looking at Rachel.
Rachel smiled sheepishly, "They're just too cute!", she said. The other girls shook their heads at their obsessive teacher. Rachel then turned to avoid the girls and looked around the store. She stopped suddenly at two cages next to each other. She suddenly got sparkles in her eyes, and bent her knees to look inside the cages at eye height.
Inside were two wolf pups. The one on the left was a black wolf, with a little spot of white on its chest. The one on the right was a very light brown orange color, with a white belly. The black pup was sleeping on it's back, pawing the air as it slept. Seeing this, Rachel smiled, contently and giggled in amusement at the little one. The other pup was as near to Rachel as it could be in the cage, nose pressed slightly against the bars as it sniffed the hand Rachel held out. The wolf pup seemed to be happy with what it had learned about Rachel, that it licked her hand. Rachel smiled at the pup, and stroked it's head with two fingers through the bars. (pics-- , and .)
Rachel nodded determinately, she was going to get these two wolf pups no matter what. Rachel noticed that the girls were now at the counter with Gaara and Naruto who seemed to be purchasing pets, and took the two cages with her to the counter.
"Rachel-sensei, are you kidding me? You're getting two pets?!" Sakura exclaimed exasperatedly. Rachel nodded, grinning. Hinata giggled, and Tenten, Ino, and Sakura just sighed.
Rachel then noticed what animals Naruto and Gaara had. She blinked, shocked, but then smiled and chuckled in her head. 'Those two, picking the animals that remind them of what is inside them, even though they have caused them so much grief. They are very connected to their two demons, aren't they?'
They all paid for the animals and left the shop, Rachel having already discarded the two cages, as she did not like the inhumane feel to them. She was now holding the still sleeping pup in her arms, as the other pup somehow flopped onto her head, limbs hanging off the edges, and head resting against head.
OK!!
Now, please any readers who finished up to this point, and liked my story. Tell me what you want the pairings to be. Only definite pairing is Asuma/Kurenai.
Kaka/Rach-
Sirius/Rach-
Kaka-
Naru-
Neji-
Sasuke-
Hinata-
Sakura-
Tenten-
Lee-
etc.
PLZ REVIEW!!!!!!!!
End file.
| fanfiction |
The 1992 Vanderbilt Commodores football team represented Vanderbilt University in the 1992 NCAA Division I-A football season as a member of the Eastern Division of the Southeastern Conference SEC. The Commodores were led by head coach Gerry DiNardo in his second season and finished with a record of four wins and seven losses 47 overall, 26 in the SEC.
Schedule
Source: 1992 Vanderbilt football schedule
References
Vanderbilt Commodores football
Vanderbilt Commodores
Category:Vanderbilt Commodores football seasons | wikipedia |
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If you are interested in volunteering your time to help our native wildlife in any of the following categories, please contact us at [email protected].
Below we have listed a number of individuals and organizations who have made all of this possible, we give thanks to their contributions.
Copyright © 2010 Helping Hands For Wildlife, Inc. is a 501c3 nonprofit organization. | slim_pajama |
For the past few days I have been working with a variety of hearts to create some new projects. I thought I'd show you some of them so you can see that inspiration is everywhere.
While putting away Christmas ornaments (yes, I know that it is February but we were away for a good part of January!) I came across this crystal heart and decided to take some photos that I could use to create digital elements.
After lots of experimentation with a photo taken from another angle I made this heart image. I can change the color of the heart to suit the project I am doing.
This heart was made by one of my walking friends who gave it to me several years ago. I am inspired to pull out some of my pretty bits and pieces and make some similar hearts. While I have been unpacking I have found so many beads, buttons and bits of lace - doesn't this look like a fun way to use them?
While we were in California, we went on a hike with our family and I noticed this lopsided heart stone - you never know where you might see something interesting. I wonder how it got to be that shape?
I have also been making some things to print and cut with Design Space. These will be pocket scrapping 3 x 4 cards. I haven't printed them yet because I have a few more to finish. Do you recognize the heart shape that I used for the card I posted yesterday? There are lots of ways you can use the altered image after you hide some of the cutting lines. Here I flattened it onto a basic rectangle shape for printing.
I also made these hearts using a different software program and uploaded them to Design Space to print and cut them for cards. It's fun to be able to make custom images - I could change the text on these to include the names of my Valentines.
Just a quick post tonight - I hope you are having a great week!
Love your hearts! Love the glass heart you worked with, what a great idea! I also love the rock in the shape of a heart! Thank you for sharing with us! | slim_pajama |
Confusion in phase and group velocity
This question is based on [this question](https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/168915/phase-velocity-greater-then-the-speed-of-light) asked in physics SE. In this question, they say that phase velocity greater than velocity of light. Ok, greater than velocity of light for phase velocity is acceptable. But group velocity must be $\leq{c}$ .
But in my knowledge, for a quantum free particle,
phase velocity $$V\_p=\frac{\omega}{k}=\frac{p}{2m}$$ and group velocity $$V\_g=\frac{d\omega}{dk}=\frac{p}{m} .$$ Obviously $$V\_g=2V\_p.$$ But how this is possible? This means group velocity also greater than velocity of light, and is pure nonsense. Where is the mistake happened to me?
The main issue is that one cannot use a non-relativistic dispersion formula $E=\frac{p^2}{2m}$ to deduce what happens at relativistic velocities. [This](https://physics.stackexchange.com/q/34214/2451) Phys.SE post deals with the same theme.
| stackexchange/physics |
Frank Tjepkema born 1970 is a Dutch designer based in Amsterdam. He works in interior design, architecture, product design, visual design and jewellery. He is most known for his collections, Bronze Age, Future Nostalgia, Clockwork Love, and his interior design projects. In 2014, at the Amsterdam Light Festival, he installed Light Bridge on a bridge along the Amstel river that received considerable media attention.
Tjepkema is the founder and principal of Tjep., a design studio in Amsterdam.
Early life and education
Tjepkema was born in 1970. He grew up in Geneva, Brussels and New York City. In 1989, he settled in the Netherlands to study industrial design. He studied for two years at the Delft University of Technology after which he transferred to the Design Academy Eindhoven. In 1996 Tjepkema graduated cum laude and subsequently started a MA at the Sandberg Institute in Amsterdam. He obtained a degree from this institute in 1998.
Work
Tjepkema's graduation project was selected for the Droog Design collection which eventually resulted in several collaborations between the two. In 2000, he worked with Droog on Do Break, the British Airways Executive Lounge at London Heathrow in 2004 and the Chair of Textures, which was introduced at Art Basel Miami in collaboration with Friedman Benda in 2006. The design for British Airways executive lounge won the Dutch Design award in 2004.
After initially working for Philips Design, he set up his own design studio called Tjep. together with Janneke Hooymans in 2001. Through Tjep., he has worked with Ikea, British Airways, Philips and Heineken. Tjepkema has designed products, furniture and accessories. He has also worked with restaurants and other establishments for the development of concepts and interiors notably important areas of Schiphol Airport Lounge 3 and Lounge 4.
He has taught at various institutes including Design Academy Eindhoven, the Rietveld Academy in Amsterdam, Universidad Iberoamericana Mexico City, Iceland Academy of The Arts Reykjavik, The Acadia Summer Arts Program Maine USA. He also lectured at Design Academy Eindhoven, The Universidad Iberoamericano Mexico City, and Iceland Academy of the Arts Reykjavik. He was Head of Department at the Amsterdam Rietveld Academy from 2001 to 2004.
Tjepkema has been a member of the board of the Premsela Foundation and a member of the examination commission of the Dutch Foundation for Art and Design. He has been a jury member for the Dutch Design Awards and the Françoise van der Bosch awards. Frank Tjepkema was awarded two Dutch Design Awards and has been a frequent lecturer at international design events such as Design Indaba, What Design Can Do and The Design 2050 Challenge in Singapore.
Bling Bling
Bling Bling was jewellery piece designed by Tjepkema for Chi ha paura? CHP. Each jewellery piece consisted of several logos of famous brands. Bling Bling and the connected design for a cathedral of logos, The Next Bling have been displayed at numerous exhibitions and museums and has won the Dutch Design Award in 2004. Bling Bling is part of the permanent collection of the Stedelijk Museum Amsterdam and was featured on the cover of Design Week in 2004.
Oogst
Oogst was designed by Tjepkema as a vision of future farming. It was designed in three chapter Oogst 1: Solo, Oogst 100: Community, Oogst 1000: Wonderland. The project involved three new proposals for farms that combine technology with regards to self-sustaining living and agricultural systems. Each one of the closed system in the designed supplied its own energy and water supply and recycled waster and carbon, with food grown in a greenhouse and in the surrounds where possible. Oogst was introduced as part of the exhibition Hyperlinks at the Art Institute of Chicago in 2011.
Future Nostalgia
Tjepkema collaborated with DutchDNA in 2013 to develop jewellery and furniture items from the DNA of people. The collection was presented at Ventura Lambrate during the Salone Del Mobile in Milano under the title Future Nostalgia. DutchDNA's CEO Erik Wolthuis had the idea to design jewellery first through genetic mapping. He reached out to Tjepkema with the idea, and after realising the potential genetic data had to augment design, they expanded to furniture. Following the initial show at Milan, Tjep. opened to commissioned projects for DNA furniture. Wired Magazine wrote about the idea that, Tjepkema and Wolthuis seem to have tapped into a new way of humanizing data...and used it to create something beautiful and practical.
Isolée
In 2013, Tjepkema and his company designed Isolée, which was a model three story retreat home that was self-sufficient. The house had tree-like spindles of photovoltaic panels that sprout from its roof, supplying enough energy to recharge the batteries in the homes LED lights. Two sides of the building envelope were clad in hinged slats of wood, which could be opened or closed depending on the weather. The design of the house received positive reviews with Fast writing that Tjep deserves kudos for imagining the future and PSFK writing that although it is intended to be a retreat from the modern world, it is also a testament to it.
Clockwork Love
Tjepkema launched a jewellery collection, Clockwork Love in 2013. The collection included multi-layered paper hearts designed and created by Tjepkema. Tjepkema made the hearts using paper and acrylic. They were made in a gold collection, Clockwork Love Gold, and a white collection, Clockwork Love Paper, and were first shown as part of an exhibition at Gallery Ra in Amsterdam. Each heart in the collection represented different heart moods. Trend Hunter wrote about the collection that made to look mechanical, they are stunning pendants that represent the complexity of the heart and the feeling of love.
Bronze Age
Tjepkema unveiled Bronze Age in October 2014 at the Colloredo Mansfeld Palace during Designblok Prague. The collection included furniture pieces, handcrafted out of bronze. Bronze Age stemmed from the Tjep.'s 2011 Recession Chaira mass-produced Ikea chair reduced in part to a skeletal shape. The collection received a lot of media attention. Prague Post wrote that even though the collection is based on the classic furniture terminology, it focuses on cultural, environmental and conceptual themes.
Light Bridge
Light Bridge, a light installation that Tjepkema installed on a bridge along Amstel river during the Amsterdam Light Festival of 2014, was made up of 1200 lights reacting to movements like bicycles passing over the bridge it was attached to or boats passing beneath from the Amstel. Design Boom positively reviewed Lightbridge writing that [Tjep.] has created a luminous, undulating installation along the amstel in the center of the city.
Public collections
Tjepkema's work is part of the permanent collections of the following institutions:
Museum of Art and Design
Stedelijk Museum of Modern Art
Rijksmuseum
Centraal Museum
Museum t Kruithuis, Den Bosch
Museum für Kunst und Gewerbe, Hamburg
References
Category:Living people
Category:1970 births | wikipedia |
Teillots is a commune in the Dordogne department in Nouvelle-Aquitaine in southwestern France.
Population
See also
Communes of the Dordogne department
References
INSEE
Category:Communes of Dordogne | wikipedia |
Atlanta Black Pride started in 1996 and is one of two officially recognized festivals for the African American LGBT community. It is held in Atlanta each year at the end of August and beginning of September week of Labor Day holiday. It is the largest black gay pride festival in the country with an estimated 100,000 people in attendance annually, the festival bills itself as the largest official black pride celebration in the world. The event is a major contributor to the annual $65 million economic impact on Atlanta's economy during the city's highly eventful Labor Day weekend.
The city of Atlanta is widely noted for being the Black Gay Mecca due to its notably visible black LGBT community, progressive reputation, and vibrant urban LGBT nightlife. Atlanta also has one of the largest communities of black same-sex couples in the nation.
Winter Pride
January's Martin Luther King Jr. holiday weekend is when Atlanta's first major pride event of the year is held. During this unofficial pride weekend, there are several special black gay events and celebrations for the many locals and visitors.
King's wife and Atlanta resident, Coretta Scott King, was a well-known proud supporter of the black gay community. In 1998, Mrs. King publicly stated at the 25th Lambda Legal anniversary reception that she believes her late husband would have also been a supporter of LGBT rights'.
See also
African Americans in Atlanta
Atlanta Pride
Ansley Mall
Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus
Georgia Equality
Black gay pride
D.C. Black Pride
UK Black Pride
References
External links
Category:African-American festivals
Category:African-American history in Atlanta
Category:Festivals in Atlanta
Category:LGBT African-American culture
Category:LGBT culture in Atlanta
Category:Pride parades in Georgia U.S. state | wikipedia |
Is linear momentum conserved in a system with open boundary conditions?
In a one dimensional lattice system with periodic boundary conditions, in which the last and the first site of the lattice are the same site, momentum is conserved modulo a vector of the reciprocal lattice. My question is if for a system with open boundary conditions, in which the single particle wave functions vanish in the two extremes of the chain, momentum or quasi-momentum is conserved. In principle, there is no discrete (nor continuous) translation symmetry, so momentum shouldn't be conserved. However, I wonder if momentum conservation is completely lost or if there are some remains.
Strictly speaking, crystal momentum is not conserved. For bulk properties of a solid, the consequences of making the approximation that crystal momentum *is* strictly conserved are negligible. Of course, for regions near a surface, the lack of periodicity is an essential feature and causes the surface region to have different properties than the bulk. It's like a layer of a different material on top of the bulk.
"Regular" momentum plays a role in solids only if the effect of the ion lattice can be ignored. Semiconductor systems can be constructed with thin planar layers in which the electrons behave as a free two-dimensional electron gas. But even in this case the conserved quantity is different than the $m\vec{v}$ momentum from mechanics. The particles in solids, what we loosely call "electrons", are actually comprised of a bare electron plus whatever the electron might drag along with it. The electron can deform the background medium, creating a polarization excitation as it moves. This quasiparticle is known as a polaron. A polaron does have a conserved momentum, but it is not equal to the mass of the electron times its velocity. As above, this momentum is not strictly conserved, and is manifestly not conserved near surfaces, interfaces, defects, etc.
| stackexchange/physics |
Le Manul (Otocolobus manul), syn. : Felis manul) ou Chat de Pallas est un félin de la sous-famille des félinés. C'est la seule espèce du genre Otocolobus.
Description
Corps
Le Manul a un corps compact et trapu avec des pattes courtes et une queue courte et épaisse. La fourrure, très longue et épaisse, le fait paraître plus gros qu'il n'est. Le poil présent dans les parties inférieures (ventre, intérieur des pattes et de la queue) est presque deux fois plus long que celui qui est situé sur les flancs ou le dos, ce qui lui permet de marcher ventre à terre quand il chasse tout en étant protégé des températures hivernales. Le Manul s'enroule dans sa queue pour se coucher, celle-ci lui permettant de garder sa chaleur corporelle. La fourrure est de couleur grise au nord de son aire de répartition à fauve à roux pour le sud. La couleur peut varier saisonnièrement. Certains individus ont des rayures sombres verticales sur les flancs. L'extrémité des poils est blanche, ce qui lui donne une apparence argentée. Le menton, la poitrine et le ventre sont blancs. Les pattes sont marquées de bandes noires indistinctes. La queue est annelée de sept à neuf marques noires étroiteset son extrémité est noire. La couleur de la robe permet un excellent camouflage dans son environnement naturel.
Le Manul mesure entre de long et la queue mesure de . La hauteur au garrot est de . Le poids varie de en moyenne. Les mâles sont généralement plus lourds que les femelles.
La tête est aplatie et large. Les oreilles sont courtes, arrondies et placées bas sur la tête : elles dépassent à peine de la fourrure. Le profil très bas de la tête est adapté à la chasse dans les milieux ouverts avec peu de couverture végétale. La petite taille des oreilles évite une trop grande déperdition de chaleur. Le front est tacheté de petits points noirs. Les joues sont marquées de rayures foncées et blanches. Les vibrisses sont blanches et les yeux sont bordés de lignes blanches et noires. Le Manul est également doté d'une troisième paupière qui sert de protection contre les vents froids et les tempêtes de poussières. Les pupilles sont rondeset la mâchoire est plus petite que celle des autres félins puisqu'il n'a pas de pré-molaires supérieures.
Comportement
Comportement
Cet animal est très territorial, agressif et solitaire, ce qui fait que c'est l'un des chats les moins étudiés. Le Manul escalade facilement les rochers et falaises. Il n'est pas adapté à la marche dans la neige et se déplace dans les vallées lorsqu'il neige sur les hauteurs.
Le Manul possède le plus petit territoire parmi les félins. Le domaine de ce félin peut se limiter aux environs immédiats de sa tanière (déplacements entre ), pour une superficie d'un kilomètre carré. En Russie, la taille moyenne du territoire est estimée à .
Par sa petite taille, le Manul est une proie pour de nombreux prédateurs (rapaces, renards...). Cette menace l'oblige à se cacher régulièrement et à éviter les milieux ouverts (prairies).
Le Manul possède une longévité de 11 ans et demi.
Régime alimentaire
Comme tous les félins, le Manul est un carnivore. Il se nourrit de petits mammifères et d'oiseaux comme les perdrix et les alouettes. Au Népal, des fèces contenaient 76 % de poils de pika, 18 % de poils de Lièvre laineux (Lepus oiostolus), 4 % de végétaux et divers débris. En Iran, un spécimen femelle percuté par un véhicule avait dans son estomac les restes d'un Pika afghan (Ochotona rufescens) et une Perdrix choukar (Alectoris chukar).
Crépusculaire, il passe ses journées caché dans des cavités. Il sort généralement au crépuscule et à l'aube pour chasser ; toutefois, lorsque ses proies sont diurnes, il sort également en journée comme lorsqu'il chasse la Grande gerboise en Iran. Le Manul pratique la chasse à l'approche : lorsqu'il voit une proie, il s'en approche en rampant et, lorsqu'il est assez près, bondit pour porter le coup fatal. Il peut également attendre au bord des terriers de rongeurs et les dénicher en plongeant une patte dedans.
Reproduction
Les vocalises sont décrites comme ressemblant à celles d'un chiot ou au hululement d'une chouette : c'est un cri bref, de moyen à grave en tonalité. Le bruit très distinctif des Manuls lors de l'accouplement permettrait d'anticiper les naissances en captivité. Le Manul est également capable de cracher, de siffler et de grogner.
L'œstrus dure de un à cinq jours. Les femelles ont une gestation comprise entre . La tanière est installée dans une grotte, une cavité rocheuse ou dans un terrier abandonné de renard, de blaireau ou de marmotte. La femelle donne naissance à une portée de un à six chatons durant les mois d'avril et de mai. En moyenne, les portées sont de trois à quatre chatons. Le poids à la naissance est de . Les jeunes naissent avec un pelage laineux et foncé, distinctement marqué de rayures sur les flancs. Les petits sont revêtus de ce duvet jusqu'à l'âge de deux mois. Ils atteignent l'indépendance à huit mois. La maturité sexuelle de l'espèce est atteinte entre douze et quatorze mois.
Répartition
Le Manul se rencontre dans les steppes froides et arides d'Asie centrale et jusqu'à d'altitude. Son habitat optimal est constitué de terrains découverts constitué de steppes d'herbes et de broussailles, avec des étendues de rochers, des ravins et des versants de collines. Le Manul habite les déserts de rocailles et rochers, les prairies ou encore les versants de montagne avec éboulis : il ne s'accommode pas des déserts de sable, des forêts ou de la neige profonde. Au nord, son aire de répartition est ainsi limitée par la taïga. Le Manul peut vivre dans des zones où la température descend jusqu'à .
L'espèce a une vaste aire de répartition, qui s'étend à l'ouest jusqu'à la mer Caspienne et à l'origine à l'Est jusqu'à la Chine occidentale. L'aire de répartition monte au Nord jusqu'en Mongolie, au Kazakhstan et à la Russie, et au Sud en Iran, Pakistan et Népal. Il se retrouve surtout en Mongolie, moins souvent au Tibet, en Afghanistan et au Pakistan. Il n'est plus présent dans l'Est de la Chine. Sa présence au Népal est confirmée pour la première fois en 2014, la limite ouest de son aire de répartition népalaise est située dans le district de Dolpa.
Le Manul a été signalé dans le parc national de Khoshyeylag, les réserves du Qomolangma et de Taxkorgan en Chine et la forêt de Ziarat Juniper. Au Népal, il est présent dans l'aire de conservation de l'Annapurna. En Iran, où il est largement distribué tout en étant considéré comme rare, sa présence est confirmée dans l'aire protégée de Parvar. Il a également été vu début 2020 en Arménie.
En 2019, deux individus ont été localisés par leurs excréments à d'altitude sur l'Everest dans le parc national de Sagarmatha au Népal. Ils s'y nourrissent de pikas et de belette de montagne.
Menaces
Ce félin est une espèce encore peu décrite et mal connue. Le nombre d'individus présents dans la nature n'est pas clairement défini mais la tendance de la population est à la baisse. Le nombre d'individus à l'état sauvage est estimé à /, soit seulement dans toute l'Asie.
Cette espèce a été très chassée pour sa fourrure afin de confectionner des chapeaux et des manteaux. Au début du , par an étaient vendues par la Mongolie. De même, en Chine, les trappeurs capturent dix mille Manuls par an. Dans les années 1980, le Manul était moins prélevé dans la nature, et, en 1987, sont exportées par la Mongolie. Le Manul est à présent protégé par la loi en Chine, en Mongolie, en Inde, en Iran, au Kazakhstan, au Kirghizstan, au Pakistan, en Russie et au Turkménistan.
En Asie, la fragmentation des habitats et l'empoisonnement en masse des rongeurs, considérés comme des nuisibles, constitue une importante menace. C'est cette importante perte d'habitats et de proies qui a valu à ce félin d'être classé quasi menacé par l'UICN, depuis 2002, avant d'être finalement classée en « préoccupation mineure » en 2019.
Présence en captivité
Début 2019, environ 160 individus étaient présents dans une soixantaine d'institutions zoologiques en Asie, en Europe et en Amérique du Nord.
Le parc des félins dans la commune de Lumigny-Nesles-Ormeaux en Seine-et-Marne détient plusieurs Manuls. Leur premier spécimen est envoyé par le en . Un second Manul, une femelle, est transféré depuis le zoo de Mulhouse. Des reproductions ont eu lieu en 2015.
La ménagerie du Jardin des plantes détient au moins deux spécimens de Otocolobus manul. Ils sont maintenus dans un grand enclos extérieur avec abris en cas de pluie. (02/2015).
Le zoo de Lille possède actuellement une femelle, arrivée en 2017 lors de la rénovation du zoo, elle est située au fond de l'Allée des volières dans l'ancien enclos des binturong qui ont déménagé dans un enclos plus grand avec des loutre cendrées. Un mâle doit la rejoindre .
Le , en Suède détient au moins un couple reproducteur et leurs chatons.
Le zoo de Moscou, en Russie détient un certain nombre de spécimens.
Le zoo de Novossibirsk, en Sibérie détient un certain nombre de spécimens.
Le zoo d'Édimbourg, en Écosse détient un certain nombre de spécimens.
Le zoo de Zurich, en Suisse détient un certain nombre de spécimens.
Le Lincoln Park Zoo, à Chicago (Illinois, États-Unis) détient un certain nombre de spécimens.
Le zoo de Sarrebruck, en Allemagne détient un certain nombre de spécimens.
Le zoo Ueno de Tokyo possède au moins deux spécimens.
Le parc zoologique et botanique de Mulhouse possède un mâle et une femelle.
En juillet 2020, au zoo Shilo de Novossibirsk, 3 femelles de manul ont donné une progéniture, 16 petits.
Taxonomie
Deux sous-espèces ont été proposées :
Otocolobus manul manul, que l'on trouve en Afghanistan, en Chine dans la province de Gansu, au Kazakhstan, en Iran, en Mongolie, dans le sud de la Sibérie et au Pakistan.
Otocolobus manul nigripectus, que l'on trouve au Bhoutan, dans le Cachemire, au Népal et au Tibet.
Dans la culture
Étymologie
« Manul » est un mot mongol qui désigne directement le félin.
L'un des noms vernaculaires de cette espèce, « Chat de Pallas », commémore le zoologue allemand Peter Simon Pallas (1741-1811) qui a décrit l'espèce en 1776. La longue fourrure de ce félin lui fait alors penser que le Manul est l'ancêtre sauvage du chat persan.
Le nom latin du genre Otocolobus signifie « oreilles coupées ».
Notes et références
Annexes
Articles connexes
Felidae
Bibliographie
Liens externes
Genre Otocolobus
Espèce Otocolobus manul
Fiche de la IUCN/SSC Cat Specialist Group sur Otocolobus manul
Mammifère (nom vernaculaire)
Felinae
Faune endémique d'Asie | slim_pajama |
electroproduction experiments of hadrons on nuclear targets may offer a chance to observe the effect of color transparency ( ct ) , that is the phenomenon of vanishing ( or very small ) final state interaction ( fsi ) of the produced hadron with the surrounding nucleons , at high momentum transfer @xcite .
the hermes experiment at desy @xcite ( see @xcite for other experiments at higher energies ) looked for such an effect in the electroproduction of mesons on nuclei . while a rise of the transparency @xmath3 . ] with photon virtuality @xmath4 was indeed observed and taken as evidence of a @xmath2-ct effect other studies showed that the same data could be well understood in a sophisticated transport calculation @xcite or even a glauber calculation @xcite . in these studies
the observed rise of @xmath3 was attributed to the change of the coherence length , i.e. to the @xmath4-dependence of shadowing in the entrance channel .
the observation of @xmath2-ct , therefore , demands a kinematical regime where one is less sensitive to the resolved hadronic interactions of the incoming photons .
a new experiment at jlab has been designed to work under kinematical conditions that keep the coherence length small and nearly constant @xcite .
it is supposed that in this case a rise of @xmath3 as a function of @xmath4 should indeed indicate an onset of ct . in ref .
@xcite first theoretical estimates have been made for the expected results .
the framework used is essentially a glauber calculation , with the prehadronic interactions being described by the pqcd - inspired cross section of farrar et al . @xcite . in this model
the prehadronic cross section consists of a @xmath5-dependent starting value ; the cross section then increases linearly in time up to an expansion time where it reaches the full hadron - nucleon cross section .
the result of ref .
@xcite was a transparency ratio @xmath3 strongly rising with @xmath4 .
the main scope of ref .
@xcite was a description of fsi only .
the elementary reaction process played no role , i.e. all the @xmath2 mesons produced experience ct , independent of their production mechanism .
however , as we will demonstrate in this paper , the knowledge of the elementary exclusive cross section @xmath1 off protons _ and _ neutrons is a necessary prerequisite for a proper description of the transparency ratio @xmath3 and thus a proof of the ct effect .
in addition , in any analysis of ct it is essential to account for the experimental acceptance limitations @xcite .
so far , the acceptance conditions applied in the jlab experiment and the interplay of kinematical cuts with standard nuclear effects like fermi motion and fsi of @xmath6 and its @xmath7 decay products have not been studied .
we will show that the experimental cuts may strongly affect the transparency ratio and produce at high values of @xmath4 a behavior which may overshadow and/or mimic the rise of @xmath3 .
in the following we study the production on @xmath8c and @xmath9fe nuclei .
we choose the kinematical conditions for our calculations such that they correspond as nearly as possible to the actual values of the ongoing experiment at jlab @xcite . in particular
we look for the region at smaller @xmath4 where the experimental values are centered and discuss also the event - types and @xmath10 reconstruction problems in this experiment . the main focus of our studies is to clarify the observable consequences of ct effect and investigate possible other effects that might influense the wanted @xmath2-ct signal .
such an analysis of ct at present jlab energies is challenging due to the combined contribution of different effects such as the uncorrelated @xmath7 background affecting the @xmath11 signal , the largely reduced ( by experimental cuts ) phase space , nuclear fsi and fermi motion effects .
the outline of the present paper is as follows . in sec .
ii we describe the model used in the calculation of exclusive @xmath12 cross section of nucleons . in sec .
iii we introduce the gibuu model used in the calculations and also describe the hadronization and ct scenarios followed in this work .
the experimental cuts used in the experiment at jlab are considered in sec .
the effect of fermi motion in the transparency ratio is discussed in sec . v. the results
are presented in sec .
the conclusions are summarized in sec .
vii . dependence of the integrated cross section in the reaction @xmath13 ( solid curves ) for different @xmath14 bins above the resonance region .
the compilation of experimental data is taken from ref .
the dashed curves describe the corresponding cross sections in the reaction @xmath15 . ] in the reaction @xmath16 for different @xmath17 bins .
the experimental data are from ref .
the solid curves are the sum of vmd ( dashed ) and dis ( dotted ) contributions . ] dependence of the integrated cross section in the reaction @xmath18 ( solid curves ) for different @xmath14 bins .
the compilation of experimental data is taken from ref .
the dashed curves describe the corresponding cross sections in the reaction @xmath19 . ]
[ fig : pippim ]
the exclusive production of mesons may involve very different production mechanisms driven either by hadronic or by hard partonic interactions .
the ct occurs in the scattering of virtual photons off partons . indeed , in ref .
@xcite it was shown that the exclusive @xmath20 electroproduction and the ct signal observed in this reaction off nuclei @xcite can be understood if only the hard partonic events @xcite , that go through high - lying excitations of the nucleon @xcite , experience an expansion time and a corresponding ct effect . in analogy ,
the unambiguous identification of the @xmath2-ct effect requires the understanding of the elementary production mechanism .
also the elementary cross sections off nucleons are the first input in any event generator attempting to describe the corresponding reaction off nuclei .
we are interested in the description of exclusive production around the values of @xmath21 .
this is very difficult task because in this region the contributions of large amount of nucleon excitations should be accounted for explicitely , see ref .
@xcite and references therein . to account for the contribution of nucleon resonances we consider the dis like interaction with partons since dis involves the excitation of all possible resonances . to validate this assumption the high energy event generator pythia
is used that besides diffractive vector meson dominance ( vmd ) events also describes hard scattering events in a string - fragmentation picture . in pythia
the exclusive production is treated as exclusive limit , @xmath22 , of semi - inclusive dis @xmath23 this is in the spirit of the exclusive - inclusive connection @xcite . however , it is not obvious that the event generator designed for inclusive reactions should also work in exclusive processes . in figure
[ fig : q2deprho ] we , therefore , show the results for the @xmath4 dependence of the integrated cross section for the exclusive reaction @xmath13 above the resonance region .
the @xmath4 range shown there is the one covered by the jlab @xmath2-ct experiment .
the curves correspond to the default parameters used in the pythia generator .
the pomeron induced diffractive production of is isoscalar in nature . on the contrary
the dis production of introduces an isospin dependent component which makes the cross sections off protons and neutrons unequal .
therefore , we also show in figure [ fig : q2deprho ] the production of in the reaction @xmath24 off neutrons . the isospin dependence of the production cross section and its contribution to @xmath3 have not been considered before ; the naive assumption @xmath25 was always used .
the latter has important consequences in isospin asymmetric systems such as the @xmath9fe nucleus studied at jlab .
note that in the jlab experiment the transparency ratio @xmath3 is normalized to the cross section on the deuterium target . in figure
[ fig : dsdt ] we show a comparison of the differential cross section @xmath26 in the exclusive reaction @xmath13 with the experimental data from ref .
@xcite ; the contributions of dis and diffractive vmd events are given separately .
the pythia model describes the magnitude and the shape of the differential spectra very well . in fig .
[ fig : dsdt ] it can also be seen that in the region @xmath27 the dis mechanism gives the dominant contribution whereas at higher values of @xmath14 the diffractive vmd component dominates the forward production of . concerning the @xmath4 dependence
the region of low @xmath4 is always dominated by the vmd events ( see discussion below ) . at large values of @xmath4 , however , the vmd component is strongly decreasing and the production mechanism in the forward and off - forward regions is driven by the partonic dis component . because in dis the deep inelastic structure function is factorized out of the fragmentation function the @xmath4 dependence of the transverse cross section in @xmath28 must essentially follow the @xmath4 dependence of the total dis cross section . this behavior has been already observed in exclusive @xmath20 electroproduction @xcite .
we find here that the situation is similar in exclusive production and that the @xmath6 experimental data follow this behavior as well .
interestingly , the lund model used here for the hadronization predicts two jets for the @xmath29 final state in the forward and backward directions .
therefore , there is a sizable backward production of the . in the experimental analysis of ref .
@xcite the off - forward region is extrapolated by assuming a functional form as @xmath30 thus missing the backward rise . since , the backward production of is large and has been not taken into account in @xcite the data may underestimate the actual integrated cross section .
this can be seen by comparing figure [ fig : q2deprho ] and figure [ fig : dsdt ] where the forward angle data are consistent with the model while the integrated cross sections are consistently lower than the model at higher values of @xmath4 . in the actual experiment the is reconstructed from its @xmath7 decay products .
therefore , one has to also control the uncorrelated @xmath7 background which may contaminate the @xmath6 signal .
the same string fragmentation picture is applied to the uncorrelated @xmath7 background as implemented in the pythia generator . in figure
[ fig : pippim ] we show the @xmath4 dependence of the integrated cross sections in the reaction @xmath31 off protons .
the compilation of experimental data is from ref .
they include the correlated @xmath32 as well as the uncorrelated @xmath7 events .
the two basic mechanisms , diffractive production and hard dis production , together describe the data very well . for d target .
only real are selected , there are no fake reconstructions . ]
[ fig : ratiovmdtotal ] since the experimental cuts do not allow for a perfect separation of diffractive events , we show in figure [ fig : ratiovmdtotal ] the relative importance of diffractive vmd and dis events over the full sample .
we show the result for deuterium d as an example , but the conclusions are valid also for other nuclei , except for the kinematical limitations at high @xmath4 .
fsis do not affect the relative importance of the production mechanisms , but they do affect the relative importance of the two components in the observed sample .
the relative importance of the two event types depends strongly on whether we count all reconstructed or only those , which are real . in dis events
the probability of reconstructing a , which is indeed a fake one , is much larger than in vmd events .
as one can see in figure [ fig : ratiovmdtotal ] , already in an experiment , which can distinguish between true and fake mesons , the dis component is non - negligible over the full @xmath4 range , increases strongly with @xmath4 and becomes even dominant for the values of @xmath33 . for the actual experiment , where the fake and the true mesons can not be distinguished
, this transition happens even earlier ( see fig . [
fig : dsdt ] ) .
the theoretical framework followed here is the gibuu transport model @xcite . in this model first the primary interaction of the incoming electron with the nucleons of the target nucleus is described within the impulse approximation ; the latter assumes that the interaction takes place with only one nucleon at a time and is expected to be valid for the momentum transfers treated here .
fermi distribution of nucleons follows the local density approximation . the fate of produced hadrons in fsi is then described by the coupled - channel boltzmann - uehling - uhlenbeck ( buu ) transport equation which describes the time evolution of the phase space density @xmath34 of particles of type @xmath35 . besides the nucleons these particles involve the baryonic resonances and mesons that can be produced in fsi .
for the baryons the equation contains a mean field potential which depends on the particle position and momentum .
the buu equations of each particle species @xmath35 are coupled via the mean field and the collision integral .
the latter allows for elastic and inelastic rescattering and side - feeding through coupled - channel effects ; it accounts for the creation and annihilation of particles of type @xmath35 in a secondary collisions as well as elastic scattering from one position in phase space into another . the resulting system of coupled differential
integral equations is solved via a test particle ansatz for the phase space density . for fermions pauli blocking
is taken into account via blocking factors in the collision term .
the model has been widely tested and validated for very different types of reactions , from heavy - ion over hadron - induced reactions up to electron- and neutrino - induced reactions on nuclei .
all the details about the gibuu code and the comprehensive list of publications describing the model can be found in @xcite . in electroproduction ,
the mesons are reconstructed from @xmath7 pairs , both in the actual experiment as well as in our simulations .
therefore , for realistic calculations , it is important to account for the in - medium decay and attenuation of @xmath36 decay pions .
these pions , after the @xmath6 decay inside a nucleus , propagate further through the nucleus and experience fsi .
thus , the final result , @xmath3 , is not only affected by absorption , but also by pion fsi .
the most striking result of our studies is the large effect of the pion interactions : half of the observed attenuation is due to pion absorption .
since the effect of the pionic interactions is so large , it is not appropriate to distinguish between absorption of the and some small @xcite pion absorption correction .
instead it is necessary to use a model , like the one used here , which is capable of treating all the particle species and their interactions consistently .
there is no definite framework to accommodate the notion of ct in theoretical models .
different ct scenarios exist in the literature .
for example , in ref .
@xcite a color dipole model has been applied to high - energy reactions in which all the hadronization happens outside the target nucleus . in the present model , aimed at the description of experiments in a kinematical regime where hadronization mostly happens inside the nuclear target , we use the concept of _ production _ and _ formation _ times for production of a constituent quark and formation of a color - neutral hadron as developed in @xcite .
the prehadronic interactions between the production time and the formation time follow the pqcd - inspired quantum diffusion model of ref .
@xcite assuming that the formation time corresponds to the expansion time of a point - like configuration ( plc ) . in this picture
the cross section in fsi grows linearly with time @xmath37 @xcite @xmath38 \nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath39 is the ratio of leading quarks to all quarks in the hadron .
the scaling with @xmath39 guarantees that summing over all particles in an event , on average the prefactor becomes unity . in the presence of the ct effect ,
see the factor @xmath40 in eq .
( [ sigmaqt ] ) , the intranuclear attenuation of hadrons propagating through the nuclear medium decrease as a function of photon virtuality @xmath4 .
the hard part of the primary high energy electromagnetic interaction is described by the lund model which means that the final state consists of an excited string .
this string then fragments into hadrons .
an extraction of the _ formation _ time @xmath41 in the target rest frame follows the space - time pattern of hadronization as described in ref .
this model has been already successfully applied to the hadron attenuation experiments at 200 - 280 ( emc ) , at 28 ( hermes ) and at 5 ( jlab ) @xcite . in our earlier studies of the @xmath42-ct experiment @xcite
we had argued that only the dis events should experience ct . for production the situation might be , however , different for the diffractive process .
now the incoming photon can fluctuate into a resolved component .
experiments could thus be influenced also by the prehadronic formation and expansion period of this diffractively produced mesons .
it is , therefore , of interest to study the relative importance of dis to diffractive events .
such a distinction could give valuable information on the mechanism of ct .
therefore , in the following we will discuss three different scenarios for the transparency ratio @xmath3 and ct : 1 .
no ct present ; all hadrons in fsi interact with their full hadronic cross section from their creation vertex on 2 .
ct is only present in the hard partonic events which are determined by the underlying fragmentation model 3 .
both the hard partonic and soft diffractive events experience ct effect . throughout the following
we shall also compare three different calculations : 1 .
calculations for a deuterium target including relative momenta of proton and neutron , including final state interactions ( fsi ) ( albeit being a very small effect ) , are labeled by `` d '' 2 .
calculations for a nucleus , including fermi motion and pauli blocking , but no fsi ( except particle decays ) will be denoted by `` a0 '' as e.g. `` fe0 '' for an iron target 3 .
finally calculations on iron as above , but now including the full fsi machinery are labeled by `` fe '' ( or in general by `` a '' ) .
the calculations for finite nuclei are done here without the shadowing effect , expected to still be quite small at the energies and momenta relevant here . since the coherence length has been kept nearly constant in the jlab experiment the shadowing corrections are not effective in the @xmath4 dependence of @xmath3 .
within the gibuu transport model , one simulates the production of mesons ( among others ) on a monte carlo basis .
all produced particles , independent of their production mechanism , are propagated through the nucleus according the transport equations . at the end
we have four - vectors of all final state particles .
this enables us to simulate all the experimental reconstruction of @xmath7 events and cutting .
we start our considerations of acceptance conditions by looking at kinematics . in figure
[ fig : t0_cut ] we show the accessible kinematical region in the @xmath43-@xmath4 plane for an electron beam energy @xmath44 . as can be seen there , the understanding of the acceptance in the region of small electron scattering angles is of major importance , since it influences strongly the possible minimal values of @xmath43 or @xmath14 in the region of @xmath45 . since effects of fermi motion have most impact at low @xmath14 , the variation in minimal @xmath14 translates into the question , whether one observes them or not . in the following
we will only use the acceptance cuts @xcite for the scattered electron and assume full detection efficiency within these cuts ( @xmath46 , @xmath47 ) .
in addition , the jlab experiment @xcite applies the cuts for the invariant mass @xmath14 , the momentum transfer @xmath48 and the incoming photon energy @xmath43 . 1 .
@xmath49 in order to avoid the resonance region , 2 .
@xmath50 to be in the diffractive region , 3 .
@xmath51 to exclude coherent production off the nucleus , 4 .
@xmath52 to select the elastic process ; here @xmath53 is the energy of the meson produced .
we note here , that the first cut relies on the assumption of a quasi - free process since the invariant mass @xmath14 is calculated for a nucleon at rest , neglecting any fermi motion .
the actual minimal values for @xmath14 for the elementary reaction to be considered in the calculations may , due to fermi motion , reach much smaller values .
thus the first cut does not guarantee the desired region above the resonances .
the understanding of the second cut is of major importance for the interpretation of the high @xmath4 part of the considered experiment . to see how the @xmath54 cut acts in the ( @xmath55 ) plane
we now consider the kinematical limits for @xmath48 in a collision on a nucleon at rest with @xmath56 .
these are given by ( @xmath57 ) @xmath58 where the notations for the variables are obvious .
these purely kinematical limits for a nucleon at rest ( or the deuterium target ) directly translate into expressions for @xmath59 at fixed @xmath60 .
the bound @xmath61 , together with the experimental cut @xmath50 , translates also into a relation between @xmath43 and @xmath4 and limits the values of @xmath4 at fixed @xmath43 .
this cut is shown in figure [ fig : t0_cut ] by the three parallel upward sloping lines .
for the region of large @xmath4 to the right of the lines on a nucleon ( or deuterium ) target no production with an on - shell mass is possible .
however , the spectral function of the meson smears out this sharp cut .
the two thinner dashed lines give a measure for the effects of the mass distribution .
@xmath4plane corresponding to the electron beam energy @xmath44 .
lines correspond to the various cuts ( @xmath49 , @xmath47 , @xmath62 and @xmath63 ) .
the upward sloping lines labeled by @xmath64 indicate the cut at @xmath65 ( solid ) according eq .
( [ eq : t01 ] ) with @xmath66 and @xmath67 ( dashed curves ) .
the rightmost curve corresponds to the smallest mass value . with this
cut the region of large @xmath4 , to the right of the thick straight line , is forbidden for on - shell @xmath2 production on a nucleon at rest . ] for heavier nuclei all these considerations about the @xmath48 cuts are smeared out further by fermi motion .
as a consequence , the cut is not so effective for such nuclei .
we have indeed tested that with a realistic fermi momentum distribution the cut on @xmath61 has no consequences for heavy nuclei , while it has a major effect for deuterium . as a consequence
, any ratio of nuclear and nucleon ( deuterium ) cross sections will become very large in the large @xmath68 region since there the denominator gets very small .
this will be demonstrated in the following section [ sec : fermimotion ] . within our model we can not calculate coherent production off nuclei .
we , therefore , apply the third cut as it is used in the data analysis .
the fourth cut , however , is again accessible within our model .
the exclusivity cut on high energies of the produced @xmath2 is meant to enrich the @xmath2-ct signal and we apply it to our results . as for the detection of the scattered electron , we will also assume full detection efficiency for the pions .
the contributions of the processes are indicated by line style as all ( blue solid ) , vmd ( green dashed ) and dis ( red dotted ) .
the thin horizontal lines repeat the results for all , but now with a coarse binning in @xmath4 . ]
[ fig : dsdtjlab ]
at first we demonstrate a trivial effect which can mimic the @xmath2-ct signal in the transparency ratio @xmath3 .
this effect is not generic and is merely tied to the special set of @xmath48 kinematical cuts used in the actual jlab experiment . since common to all hadronization models considered in the following we discuss first the effect of fermi motion alone on the transparency ratio by analyzing the simplest ratio `` a0/d0 '' , i.e. the ratio of nuclear cross sections for some nucleus ( without fsi ) over calculations for deuterium ( without fsi ) . in the final @xmath7 monte carlo sample
all the experimental cuts discussed above are taken into account .
as one can see in figure [ fig : fermimotion ] , for both @xmath8c / d and @xmath9fe / d ratios we observe that this transparency ratio rises sharply to values above 1 for @xmath4 values larger than @xmath69 following at smaller @xmath4 that of the vmd component , which is dominant here .
this increase is a consequence of fermi motion alone , since all fsi are turned off .
this artificial rise of @xmath3 for @xmath70 is due to the @xmath48-cut discussed in section [ s : expcuts ] that influences the denominator ( the cross section off the deuterium target ) in the transparency ratio much more strongly than the numerator . in figure
[ fig : fermimotion ] we also show the results obtained when a coarse binning in @xmath4 similar to that in the experiment is applied . in this case
the rise of the curves is not so visible anymore .
however , a bin expanding from @xmath71 to @xmath72 is still clearly affected .
thus , fermi motion alone can mimic a behavior with @xmath4 that is qualitatively expected for ct . at lower values of @xmath4
the rise of @xmath3 shows up only in the vmd and not in the dis component .
this is due to the fact that the partonic dis events are more isotropically distributed , whereas the diffractive events are forward peaked .
then the @xmath48-cut is not so effective .
the forward differential cross sections @xmath26 at @xmath73 and for different values of @xmath4 bins are shown in figure [ fig : dsdtjlab ] .
different slopes of different production components can be clearly seen . in the kinematics of the jlab experiment the low @xmath4 region
is dominated by the diffractive vmd component . on the contrary ,
the high @xmath4 region is partonic . figure [ fig : fermimotion ] also shows that @xmath74 for @xmath75 .
this lowering of @xmath3 even in the absence of any fsi is again due the experimental @xmath48-cut described above .
note that , the effects of fermi motion on the transparency could be minimized by normalizing the transparency ratio @xmath3 to the @xmath8c cross section .
the transparency for the model in which all created hadrons interact with their full hadronic cross section from their point of creation on is shown in figure [ fig : n_fed ] .
it is seen that the transparency as in the case with fermi motion only increases only weakly until @xmath76 and then rises steeply for larger @xmath4 .
this latter strong rise is as already discussed due to the @xmath48-cut and is present even for the case of fermi motion alone , see figure [ fig : fermimotion ] . it is worthwhile to separate our results into their origins and to look at the question , whether vmd or dis induced are attenuated differently
. therefore we show in figure [ fig : n_fed ] the results separately for dis and vmd s. while both the vmd and the dis parts noticeably increase with @xmath4 the resulting total curve is flatter than the vmd contribution because with increasing @xmath4 also the weight of dis events increases . since these dis events are more strongly attenuated the transparency @xmath3 is being held down until the @xmath48-cut effects prevail .
we turn now to the discussion of the ct only for hard dis events . in the previous considerations we have assumed that all particles interact immediately after their creation with their full cross section , i.e. that there are no ct effects at work . in earlier work
we have shown that this assumption does not hold for higher beam energies @xcite or for exclusive pion production at clas energies@xcite .
therefore we now use a hadronization picture as developed in @xcite . in this picture
the hadronic interactions cross section in fsi grows linearly with time @xcite , see eq .
( [ sigmaqt ] ) .
the expansion time @xmath41 , which we identify with the formation time in the definition of @xcite , is obtained from the string breaking mechanism as outlined in @xcite . on the other hand ,
the from diffractive vmd events are assumed to start interacting with their full hadronic cross section immediately after their production .
[ fig : n_cfed ] fe ( a ) , @xmath8c ( b ) and d ( c ) to that on the same targets , respectively , but without fsi .
the contributions of the processes are indicated by line style as all ( blue solid ) , vmd ( green dashed ) and dis ( red dotted ) . ] in figure [ fig : n_cfed ] we show the result on the hadron attenuation .
the rise of the vmd component is the same as that in fig .
[ fig : n_fed ] and is entirely caused by the fermi motion .
it dominates @xmath3 at small @xmath4 . at large @xmath4
we find a stronger increase with @xmath4 compared to the case without ct , driven by the weakened interaction of the dis - like events during the expansion time .
the s stemming from dis events are less attenuated , while the from vmd events are unaffected ( as expected ) . since in the final ratio we have an admixture of both origins such that the weight of dis events increases with @xmath4 also the overall transparency increases with @xmath4 in this scenario . in the scenario without ct effect , see figure [ fig : n_fed ] , the partonic dis contribution is more strongly attenuated than the vmd part and there the mixing has an opposite effect . in order to separate the effects of ct from those originating in the fermi motion we show in figure [ fig : fefe0 ] the ratio of the production on d , @xmath8c and @xmath9fe to that on the same targets , respectively , without any fsi .
the rise of the dis component of the transparency in fig .
[ fig : fefe0 ] with @xmath4 is due to the @xmath5-dependence of the first term in eq .
[ ctsigma ] .
we note , however , that already for a deuterium target , the fsi introduce an effect in the order of 5 - 10% . in a next step , in order to study the ct effects also for vmd events , we assume in a third model that all have a finite formation time @xmath77 in the laboratory . here
@xmath78 is the lorentz boost factor , while the formation time in the rest frame of the is taken to be @xmath79 , the value used in @xcite as a function of @xmath4 . ] in this last extreme picture , see figure [ fig : n_cfed2 ] , one observes a strong increase of the attenuation ratio with @xmath4 .
it is essentially the same for both vmd and dis components .
the final results in fig .
[ fig : n_cfed2 ] show a very steep rise of @xmath3 with @xmath4 which seems to be ruled out by the preliminary experimental data . however , before jumping to such conclusions we recall that the final result depends on a number of ingredients , which all conspire with each other in affecting the observable transparency . among them
foremost the fermi - motion and its interplay with the experimental @xmath48-cuts .
the influence of the latter also varies with the @xmath48-dependence of the experimental cross section .
we also note that a large part of the observed suppression is due to pion reabsorption in fsi .
this then raises interesting , but hard to answer questions on the decay during its expansion time and on the inclusion of ct effects for pions from decay .
the pion fsi then complicate any experimental determination of ct for the @xmath2 meson .
fe ( a ) and @xmath8c ( b ) target in a scenario where all the produced @xmath2 experience the ct effect .
the contributions of the processes are indicated by line style as all ( blue solid ) , vmd ( green dashed ) and dis ( red dotted ) . ]
in this paper we have investigated the effects of various experimental ( cuts ) and theoretical ( fermi - motion ) properties on an experiment aiming for a verification of color transparency at jlab energies .
we have illustrated that a careful analysis of experimental acceptances and cuts can have an influence on the final results because these cuts tend to include different kinematical regions in the numerator and the denominator of the transparency ratio . as a consequence ,
the elementary production cross sections do not drop out in the transparency ratio , but have to be explicitly taken into account .
the observed transparency is then no longer a measure for fsi alone , but is also affected by all these effects just mentioned .
this has consequences , for example , for the interpretation of a recent experiment at jlab on nearly - exclusive production .
we have also shown that in this experiment different event types ( vmd and dis ) contribute significantly in different @xmath4 ranges and due to their different absorption can affect the behavior of the transparency .
furthermore , fermi motion can smear the @xmath14 and @xmath48 ranges and , as a consequence , leads to a strong rise of the transparency with @xmath4 at large momentum transfers .
this latter behavior is always there and has to be separated from the rise of @xmath3 with @xmath4 expected from ct .
our calculations show that in the range of smaller values of @xmath80 ct indeed leads to a larger rise than that given by fermi motion alone .
the rise above that expected from fermi motion alone is directly proportional to the expansion time .
it could thus be possible to determine the latter from a careful analysis of the data . a complementary experimental proposal for the future jlab facilities would be to measure the transparency ratio and @xmath2-ct in the decay of into dilepton @xmath81 pairs , thus continuing the successful g7 experiment that worked with real photons @xcite .
this could provide much cleaner sample of events which are not contaminated by the in - medium fsi of pions as in the hadronic @xmath82 reconstruction experiments .
the authors thank kawtar hafidi and lamia el fassi for their patience explaining to us their detector and experimental procedures .
we gratefully acknowledge helpful discussions with the whole gibuu group .
we also gratefully acknowledge support by the frankfurt center for scientific computing , where parts of the calculations were performed .
this work was supported by the hic for fair , by bmbf and by dfg under sfb / tr16 .
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_ , in preparation . | arxiv |
Anime X-overs 1. Homemade Memories
Note: From the moment she first mentioned them abandoning her, I wondered who Ed's parents were. Then I saw her father in "Hard Luck Woman," and it got me to thinking. So, here's what I thunk…uh…thought. I kinda stole the title from an old Judy Blume (I think it was hers, anyway) book called "You There, God? It's Me, Margaret."
Summary: Ed (and Ein) search for the missing half of her family.
Hey, Goddess? It's Me, Edward!
Chapter 1: Homemade Memories
"You got it, Macintosh?!"
"Yeah! And it's Macintyre!"
"Whatever!"
The big man known as Applederry to his young assistant and "that big crazy guy" to others stood up and wiped some sweat from his forehead. Mapmaking was a lot harder than most people thought…especially when you updated every five to ten minutes. It was a thankless job, an endless job, and a non- paying job (and therefore not really a job).
Not that it ever stopped them, though.
He turned, spotting a falling meteor in the distance. "There's another one! C'mon, Mackenzie!" he shouted, sprinting over to the van.
"It's Macintyre!!!" his assistant shouted back, diving onto the roof of the van.
Applederry jammed his boot down on the accelerator and took off, heading for the still-smoking hole that was just beyond his line of sight. He drove over a ridge and slammed on the brakes, not because he'd nearly hit something or drove off a cliff, but because he could hardly believe his eyes. He didn't even notice when his young assistant when flying off the roof and tumbled to the ground.
Sitting next to the crater, laptop in hand and goggles donned, was his kid.
Ignoring the moans of pain from his assistant (who was most likely broken in half, and that's if he was lucky), Applederry broke into a wide grin as he climbed out of the van. "Francois!" he called in his loud voice.
It took a moment longer than he expected, but the child looked up and broke into a similar (but much more practiced and MUCH wider) grin. "Papa- person!" She leaped up as fluidly as a tiger might and ran at him, her bare feet hardly touching the ground.
Applederry caught her as she dove into his arms, laughing like mad and squeezing so hard he thought her arms might burst from the strain. "Back so soon?" he asked when she calmed down a bit. "Thought you'd be heading out with those two guys you were with."
She shook her head and smiled. "They were okay, but Ed wanted to be with you."
"Ed, huh?" He tousled her wild hair roughly. "Guess it's good enough for me if you'll answer to it."
There was a bark from seemingly nowhere, and then a little dog came running around the van, stopping at Ed's feet.
She bent down and picked him up. "Meet Ein!" she said, holding him up.
Applederry patted the dog's head. "He yours?"
She shrugged. "Ein is Ein's. But he's with Ed for now, just like Ed is with you for now."
"Fair enough."
Macintyre grunted quietly as he crawled towards them. "Mr. Applederry, sir! Don't…forget…the maps…" He moaned and fainted.
Applederry slapped his forehead. "I almost forgot!"
Ed grinned and held up her laptop proudly. "Already got it, Papa-person!"
Applederry blinked and stared at the screen. Sure enough, she'd gotten all the data on the crash site. "Well, how about that? She's faster than you, Mackenzie!"
Macintyre, still being unconscious, didn't reply.
"Well, Fran—er, Ed—welcome aboard!" Applederry patted Ed's head, nearly knocking her over in the process, but she didn't seem to mind at all.
* * * * *
Macintyre woke up with his right arm in a sling and a huge bump on top of his head. Thankfully, the former didn't hurt too much, and the latter was covered by an icepack.
His watch told him it was just after ten, which meant Mr. Applederry would be getting dinner ready. If he was lucky, it'd be vegetables. If he wasn't, it'd be tofu. Applederry was a huge health nut, and Macintyre himself was a vegetarian, but even he wouldn't touch some of the things his employer ate.
So Macintyre was pleasantly surprised to find that they weren't having either.
"Mushrooms?" he asked as he sat down at the table.
"That's right," Applederry said from the stove. "Ed brought a bunch in her bag, and there's no sense in wasting them."
Ed was already gobbling down as many mushrooms as she could fit in her mouth at once, so Macintyre quickly scooped some onto his plate. They turned out to have a very exotic taste, and were quite delicious. Even Ein ate a few before he came down with what seemed to be a unique case of hiccups.
* * * * *
Now that he only had the use of one arm, Macintyre was forced to stay inside the van while Applederry and Ed did all the map work. It was just as well, since Ed worked a lot faster and more accurately than Macintyre did on his best days. Pretty soon, she was even doing most of the cooking and the laundry as well. That left Macintyre with absolutely nothing to do…except play with Ein, who never really seemed to get tired. He was a lot like Ed in that respect.
All went fine for about two months, when Macintyre could no longer contain his curiosity. So one night, when Applederry had insisted on cooking (and wrestled a frying pan away from Ed in the process), he went over to where Ed was trying to teach Ein to walk on his hind legs.
"Ed, I was wondering…do you know whatever happened to your mother?" Macintyre asked quietly, so that Applederry wouldn't overhear him.
Ed paused and looked up at him. "Ed isn't sure," she said after a long moment. "Ed never asked."
"Well, maybe you should. You seem like a nice kid and all, but don't you ever wonder where you came from?"
Ed nodded. "That's why Ed came to stay with Papa."
"It's just that I've been his assistant for almost five years now, and he's never mentioned her. He's only mentioned you once or twice, but he was usually talking in his sleep. I kept wondering who Francois was…"
Ed wandered over to the stove and tugged on her father's arm. "Papa, do you remember Mama at all?"
Applederry froze as if someone had fired a gun right next to his ear.
"Papa?" Ed asked quietly, looking worried.
The big man sighed wistfully and sat down. "Something told me this day would come, when you'd want to know more about her. I promised myself I'd be a man about it, and that I wouldn't shed a single tear…"
Ed climbed into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Why would you cry about Mama?"
"Oh, it's not her I'd be crying about," he muttered, tousling her hair. "It's you. The moment you learn more about her, you'll want to run off with Ein and find her."
"You could come, too," Ed offered.
Applederry shook his head. "No, Francois. My place is here, making maps. Your mother and I parted for a good reason, and I have to respect it. She wouldn't want me to come looking for her. You, though, I think she'd be more than happy to see again."
"What was she like?"
He smiled and chuckled softly. "Like an angel, but shorter. Lot like you, really. Small and thin, but pretty and powerful. Had a mind on her, that woman. Smartest person I ever met. Guess I was lucky to have her as long as I did."
"You're smart, too, Papa," Ed protested, but he shushed her.
"You don't know smart until you've seen her, Ed. Oh, I can fool the average fellow, but her…she was in a class by herself. Eyes like emeralds, and never looked a day over 20 the whole time I knew her."
"She was really pretty, then?" Ed asked excitedly.
"Beautiful. The Earth wasn't made good enough for that woman."
"Is that why she left?"
He shook his head. "No, not at all. She left because she was happy."
Ed frowned. "But…"
"I don't really understand it myself, Francois. But I guess her mind was too far beyond my own. All I remember is the last thing she said to me. 'All my life, I've searched for the perfection I'd lost. At last, I've rediscovered it here with you and our Francois, dear. It's perfect…so perfect…too perfect. And I'm not worthy of it any longer.' Just like that, she was gone."
"Then…is that why you left me, Papa?" Ed asked.
"You've got it all wrong, Francois. I left you because your mother told me to. There's one thing she always told me, each and every day after you'd been born: 'The greatest minds are the ones that learn to think for themselves. I want our little Francois to be the greatest.' She kept saying that any kid could learn something from a book or a teacher, but her kid was gonna learn from life. And you did, didn't you? Smart as a whip, too, just like she was."
"You mean she wanted me to turn out this way?"
Applederry chuckled and shook his head. "No. I'm saying she knew you would."
Macintyre started to ask how that was possible, then decided it was better not to interrupt.
"Then…Mama wants to see me?" Ed asked quietly.
"She will see you," he replied. "Sooner or later. When you're ready to go to her, just let me know. I'll point you in the right direction, and then it'll be up to you and Ein."
"But don't you need me here, Papa?"
Applederry smiled. "I want you here, Ed. But I managed to do this job before you got here, and I'll manage when you leave. Won't be the same without you, but we'll make it work."
* * * * *
It was another month before Ed decided to go. Macintyre's arm had healed up enough where he could work and do his chores again, and Ed's supply of mushrooms was running out.
There was some debate about how she'd get anywhere, though. Macintyre thought it would be a good idea to contact the Bebop, but Applederry outright refused to. He said that they had their own lives and that it wasn't their right to intrude on it.
Finally, Macintyre agreed to let Ed borrow his old scooter. It didn't look like much, but once Ed had attached a working motor to, it would do about 85 mph when she floored it.
On the day that Ed was to leave, Macintyre stuffed her bag with enough food to last about three weeks, if she was careful. The only other things she planned on taking were her computer equipment and Ein.
"Now, remember, Ed," Applederry told her. "Just because you're looking for one parent doesn't mean you have to forget about the other. You need anything, you just let me know, okay?"
Ed stood up straight and saluted him. "Yes, sir!"
He smiled and ruffled her hair. "I'm proud of you, son."
"Daughter!" Macintyre hissed under his breath.
But Ed only grinned and leaped into her father's arms. "Bye, Papa," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll tell you Mama you miss her."
"You do that." He watched her place Ein in her backpack and hop on the scooter. "So long, Francois."
The scooter roared to life and zoomed away. Ed glanced over her shoulder and waved with one hand. "BYE, PAPA! BYE, MACKAROO!"
"MACINTYRE!" Macintyre sighed. "Ah, close enough. I'm gonna miss that kid."
"So am I, Macrane," Applederry whispered. "C'mon, let's get back to work."
2. Scenes from a Bar
Chapter 2: Scenes from a Bar
Faye Valentine stared into the glass until she couldn't tell where it ended and the bar top began. Of course, the five beers she'd had helped a lot. Not that she'd been counting in the first place.
The bartender, however, had been, and when Faye asked for another, he told her so. "Lady, I think you've had enough."
Faye glared at him, and for a few moments, she was surprisingly coherent. "Look, pal. The closest thing I had to a boyfriend just bought the farm for no good reason, and I've got the money! I think I'm entitled to another beer!"
"Get it somewhere else. I'm not giving you anything else to drink."
"Then put it on my tab," said a quiet voice behind them.
The bartender went pale. "Yes, sir!" He quickly gave Faye a beer and vanished into the back room.
Faye turned around to see someone dressed in a dark blue cloak with a hood that concealed his or her face. "Thanks for the drink, buddy, but if you're looking for something in return, you won't find it."
The person raised their head. "You flatter yourself. I'm not that kind of woman."
Faye's eyes widened. "You're a woman?!"
The crimson eyes beneath the hood narrowed slightly. "You really ARE drunk. Maybe you didn't need that beer."
"Why'd you buy it in the first place?" Faye asked.
"Because there's no point in starting a fight if there's no bounty or honor at stake."
"And what makes you think I'm a bounty hunter?"
"Only two kinds of people come here, and since you're not dead or chained to some guy's wrist, you can't be a bounty."
Faye smirked and took a sip of her beer. "So what do they call you, stranger?"
"I wouldn't know. No one I've been after has ever lived long enough to call me much of anything. Well, except one…"
"And I'm guessing whatever they called you wouldn't make much of a name."
"Not really." The woman sat down on a nearby barstool. "Anyway, you won't know me long enough to need my name. Soon as the bartender comes back with my order, I'll be gone."
Faye frowned. "But you didn't order anything."
"Didn't have to. He knows what I came for."
* * * * *
Ed pressed her face against the glass, staring at all the yummy treats on the other side. Cakes, tarts, doughnuts; some with icing, cream cheese, sprinkles, some without. Ed wasn't hungry, but she was still a child, after all. It was as natural as playing with Ein to her. She wished the baker hadn't made her leave him outside. She decided to get him a little treat to make up for it.
It was then that she first noticed the other girl.
She was also staring, her small hands and brown face pressed against the glass. She wore a fluffy pink bonnet on her head, her tresses of dark brown and white escaping in two neat locks on either side of her face. Her large, amber, almost catlike eyes were fixed solely upon a large, delicious looking slice of carrot cake with white frosting. Ed recalled that her own eyes were a similar color, and decided to make some friendly conversation.
"Ed likes red velvet the best," she said matter-of-factly. "What about you?"
The girl looked at her for a moment, then longingly back at the carrot cake.
"Oh, Ed sees. Ed likes carrot, too."
The girl made a quiet whining noise in her throat, almost sounding like a cat.
"Don't be sad. Ed can buy it for you, if you want."
The girl's mouth watered at the thought, but she quickly shook her head.
"It's okay. Ed has money!" And before the girl could protest again, Ed was paying for the hunk of carrot cake, easily big enough for the both of them. "See? Doesn't it look good?" She held out the slice, waving it in front of the girl's face.
The girl's eyes followed the slice as it moved, and then she grabbed it. But remembering her manners, she broke it in half and handed a piece back to Ed. Ed tore into her piece with reckless abandon, while the girl ate hers slowly, savoring each bite.
Their peaceful moment was suddenly interrupted when Ein began to bark.
Ed ran outside of the shop, only to find Ein cornering a small, furry animal that seemed to be a rabbit…from a distance, anyway. But as Ed got closer, she decided it was more like a chipmunk with big ears and feet and whiskers. "What is it, Ein?" she asked, leaning down for a better look.
The animal bared its tiny teeth and hissed, the hairs standing on end all over its white body. Its crimson eyes narrowed in anger, and the tiny yellow jewel set in its forehead seemed to gleam in the sunlight.
Then Ed noticed a blue collar on it. "Hey, this must belong to somebody!"
Without warning, the girl from the bakery suddenly swooped down and scooped up the white creature before hurrying down the street.
Ein barked loudly and raced after her, determined not to let his prey escape.
"Ein, stop!" Ed shouted, following at a run. "Ed has cake!"
But Ein didn't stop until the girl finally tripped and fell. Ed caught him by the collar and pulled him away.
"Sorry! Ein doesn't usually act like this. Are you okay?" Ed realized that the girl's bonnet had fallen off. A large amount of brown and white hair spilled down her back, and there was a red gem at the top of her forehead.
The girl stared at Ed uncertainly for a moment, then turned her attention to the white creature still hissing in her arms. She stroked its head gently and rubbed it against her cheek, smiling as it calmed down and became silent.
"Is he yours?" Ed asked quietly.
The girl nodded, placing the white creature on her head, where it nestled down in her bushy hair. She carefully stood up and brushed off her dress.
"So there you are," said a voice behind them. "I've been looking for you two."
Ed looked up to see a woman wearing a long, dark blue cloak. "You were looking for Ed?"
The woman blinked. "No, these two," she said, gesturing at the girl and her pet. "They're with me."
The girl ran up to the woman and made some wild gestures with her hands.
"Oh yeah. Her name's Ryo," the woman said. "She doesn't talk, but I guess you knew that."
"Ed is Ed," Ed replied with a huge grin. "And Ein is Ein."
Ein barked and trotted over to the girl, sniffing at her feet.
"Smart dog," the woman muttered, then turned to Ed again. "So what are you two doing in a place like this?"
"Looking for Mama-person," Ed answered, pulling Ein away from Ryo again.
"Strange place to be doing that in. You plan on staying here?"
Ed shook her head. "Mama-person is far, FAR AWAAAAAAY! Ed & Ein are just passing through. Right, Ein?"
Ein barked and licked Ed's hand.
"Really smart dog," the woman said. "Well, look. Ryo and I have to make a stop, but after that, we can take you anywhere you want. Interested?"
"Ed will go! Ein will, too! But where is your spaceship?"
"Oh, it's here." The woman prodded the white creature in Ryo's hair with a finger. "Hey, you. Wake up. Time to go."
The white creature yowled and leaped into the air.
Ed's eyes widened as the huge shadow fell over them. "Ein can't do THAT."
Ein whined and hid between Ed's legs.
The woman smirked. "Four going up, Ken-ohki. And take it easy on the mutt."
Just after they vanished from sight, Faye stuck her head out of the bar. "Oh, great! Now I'm starting to hear Ed & Ein everywhere I go! I need another drink…"
3. Cabbits & Carrots
Chapter 3: Cabbits & Carrots
Ed had never seen anything like the inside of Ken-ohki. She especially liked the floating crystals that kept sneaking up behind her and making funny faces. Ein didn't seem to care for them as much, as they kept snapping at where his tail would've been.
The woman hadn't said anything to Ed the whole time, and when she did speak, it was either to one of the floating crystals or to Ryo.
Ryo was much friendlier, now that Ein wasn't barking at her like mad. As the woman had explained, she couldn't talk, but she was usually able to make Ed understand what she meant with body language. She was always gesturing with her small hands, or making catlike mews that were adorable, once Ed got used to them. Each mew seemed to have a certain meaning, and Ed was quickly starting to pick up on them. Ed even used them herself at times, just to make Ryo feel comfortable, or when she had a question for Ken-ohki.
Ed couldn't be sure how long they traveled. Ken-ohki didn't seem to understand human concepts of time, but was very knowledgeable on cycles (which didn't help at all). Ryo took frequent naps whenever she wanted to, so Ed went to bed when she did. The woman never seemed to sleep, and never left the pilot's seat, either. Ed suspected that she might be stuck there, but was too embarrassed to admit it.
After what seemed like a whole week, the woman suddenly announced, "All right, girls. This is where we get off."
Ed followed Ryo out of the ship, only to find herself in what appeared to be a dark hallway. The only source of light was the metallic glow from Ken- Ohki.
"Ryo, take Ed to your room," the woman instructed. "I've got some business to take care of with the boss."
Ryo mewed loudly (which Ed assumed meant "Okay!"), but stayed where she was.
Suddenly, the hallway was plunged into complete darkness, and Ein let out a worried whine.
Ed felt the little dog brushing against her feet and bent down to pick him up. "Don't be scared of the dark, Ein. You're a dog, not a chicken." She glanced around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Ryo's eyes.
Ein let out another whine as a red light blinded them for a few seconds. When Ed's eyes adjusted, she could see that it was coming from the jewel on Ryo's forehead. Ken-Ohki was back in her hair, snoring softly. He looked exhausted from their long trip.
Ryo motioned for Ed to follow and started down the hallway.
"You live in the dark?" Ed asked after a moment.
Ryo shook her head and pointed.
Ed then caught sight of a large, orange letter C at what appeared to be the end of the hallway. "That's your room?"
Ryo nodded and walked up to the C, placing her hand on it. The C turned brown and made a sound not unlike one of Ryo's mews.
Ed's stomach seemed to flips for exactly five seconds, and then she realized they were no longer in the hallway.
They stood in the center of a small room that was absolutely covered in carrots.
Ed saw right away that most of the carrots weren't real. There were carrot posters on the walls, carrot chairs, a carrot table, and even a giant, squishy carrot cushion that doubled as a bed.
Not that there weren't real carrots scattered all around the room, anyway.
"You must REALLY like carrots," Ed said after a moment.
Ryo picked up two carrots, offering the bigger one to Ed.
Ed munched on hers absently while she continued to look around the room. "Don't you have any toys?" she asked.
Ryo nodded and walked over to a tiny cupboard in the corner.
"That's IT?"
Ryo grinned and opened the cupboard.
Ed barely had time to dodge aside as a mountain of stuffed animals and dolls poured from the tiny cupboard, covering most of the room in an instant. She had the good sense to grab Ein before he, too, got swept away.
"How did you do that?" Ed asked in dazed voice.
Ryo launched into a long series of mews that Ed didn't quite understand. She caught the words "genius" and "space" and "invention," but the rest went over her head.
"So…you know a genius?"
Ryo beamed and nodded.
"Could I meet him…or her…or it?"
Ryo hesitated, then offered Ed one of her dolls.
"Are you trying to change the subject?" Ed demanded.
Ryo pretended not to hear her and leaned down to pet Ein.
* * * * *
"Hey, boss?" the woman called into the dark room. "You in here?"
"No," replied a voice.
The woman's eyes narrowed. "Ryoko."
"Yeah?" Ryoko asked, appearing in front of her.
"Where is she?"
"Busy. Doesn't want to be disturbed." Ryoko's lips twitched, a feral grin appearing on her face. "Bet I can keep YOU busy, Nagi…"
Nagi frowned. "Later. I need to see the boss. It's important."
"How important?"
"Can you remember the last time I passed up a chance to trash you?"
Ryoko smirked. "Not really."
"Well, that's how important it is. Now get out of my way."
"Make me," Ryoko teased, her grin growing wider.
"Fine." Nagi drew her sword. "Just remember that you asked for it."
"I'll be sure to remind you of that, if you ever come out of the coma." A bright red beam of light appeared in Ryoko's hand. "Oh, and one more thing."
"What?"
Ryoko suddenly split into two, each of her wielding a light saber. "Gotcha!" both women shouted, diving straight at Nagi.
"Enough, girls," a voice in both their heads said. "Ryoko, let Nagi pass. We have…things to discuss."
"You got lucky," Ryoko muttered, both of her fading from sight.
A small, circular platform appeared in front of Nagi, and she stepped onto it. The room spun wildly for a moment, then came into focus. The fact that she was now in another dimension was hardly interesting to Nagi anymore. She stepped down from the platform and approached the entity in front of her, which was sitting on a floating cushion of sorts.
"I found her," Nagi reported. "She was right were you said she'd be."
"Of course," the being replied, not turning around.
"She seems a little…odd."
"What were you expecting?"
"I don't really know," Nagi admitted. "But she can understand Ryo-Ohki and Ken-Ohki. She even talks like them at times."
"Ed is a very gifted child, Nagi. You should expect great things from her. What you've seen so far…is nothing."
"Don't you want to see her?"
The being laughed softly. "I've already seen her. But yes, I would like to meet her. Not yet, though. Tomorrow. After she's had a chance to speak to her father. You'll arrange it, won't you?"
"Yeah, boss, I can handle it."
"Wonderful. Excellent work as usual, Nagi. You are a treasure, no matter what Ryoko seems to think."
Nagi grunted. "I never put much stock in what Ryoko thinks."
"I suppose you wouldn't." The being paused. "Look in on the girls, would you? I don't want Ryo-Ohki to let anything slip. She means well, but you know…"
"Yeah. I know."
End file.
| fanfiction |
El Paranacito, also Villa Paranacito, is a village and municipality in Argentina located in the department of San Fernando in the southeast of Chaco.
It is named after the arm of the Paraná River on which it is located.
Tourism
The river attracts many Resistencia residents in the summer for its spa area. Other popular activities include boating, camping, and grilling.
References
Category:Populated places in Chaco Province | wikipedia |
a variety of test methods are
discussed for the diagnosis of proximal tooth
surfaces .
adjuncts such as bitewing radiography and fiber - optic transillumination provide an
improvement to unaided vision .
unaided visual diagnosis had detected fewer than
50% of caries lesions on occlusal surfaces and even
fewer on proximal surfaces .
it is not possible to detect only with unaided visual
examination in interproximal caries lesions ; radiographs help for proximal
caries diagnosis and detection of their lesion depth [ 2 , 3 ] .
the combination of visual
inspection and bitewing radiographic images is accepted as a standard procedure
in proximal caries diagnosis . however ,
the
deeper the radiolucency penetrates enamel and dentine , the higher the
probability of cavitation . due to
difficulties in proximal caries detection ,
recently , the new methods of magnifying visual aids such as
intraoral camera , magnification loops , and operating microscope are used for
caries diagnosis , restorative treatment decisions , root resection , and retrograde
canal preparation [ 7 , 8 ] .
previous studies [ 9 , 10 ] had investigated
the efficiency of operating
microscope for occlusal caries diagnosis , but there is insufficient
publication [ 5 , 11 ] about usage of this device for proximal caries
detection in dental literature .
the purpose of this study was
to evaluate the efficiency of operating microscope
compared with unaided visual examination , conventional
and digital intraoral radiography for proximal caries detection by means of
receiver operating characteristic ( roc ) curve analysis .
the study was based on 48 extracted
human posterior permanent teeth , 24 molars and 24 premolars stored in a 5%
buffered formalin solution . no specimens exhibited any restoration on the
proximal surfaces .
organic and
inorganic debris were removed by an excavator and then the teeth were cleaned
by pumice and water slurry .
the models were fixed in a phantom head which
was adjusted to a dental unit during the sessions of unaided visual examination
and operating microscope assessment .
the proximal surfaces coronal to the
cementoenamel - junction of the teeth were assessed by two specialists of oral
diagnosis and radiology and one specialist of
restorative dentistry of at least 10 years of experience independently . to
avoid observer fatigue ,
the models were
examined under a dental unit light , by using a dental mirror ( size 5 ) and the air water syringe
of the dental unit without any magnification for unaided visual examination .
the clinicians evaluated the extent of the carious lesions in the proximal
surfaces of the teeth according to a 5-point rating scale
( table 1 ) .
then the teeth
were examined using an operating microscope 16x magnification ( moller - wedel ,
dento 300 , wedel , germany ) according to the same scale .
the
observers assessed the teeth adjusting the height of the operating stool at a
12 o'clock position .
the position of operating microscope was not changed to
eliminate the position errors during
the examinations .
after unaided
visual and operating microscope examinations were completed , the teeth were
mounted in dental stone models 3 in a row ( either 2 premolars and 1 molar or 1
premolar and 2 molars ) with proximal surfaces in contact .
conventional
bitewing radiographs of the teeth were obtained using a specially designed
holder to provide standardized bitewing projection geometry in the buccolingual
direction , tangential to the proximal surfaces .
the object to film distance was approximately 0.5 cm and the
source - to - image receptor distance was 32 cm .
size 2 insight ( eastman kodak company , paris , france ) films with an exposure time of 0.16
seconds and ccx intraoral unit ( trophy , instrumentarium , tuusula , finland ) with focal spot of size 0.8 mm , operating at 70 kvp and 8 ma , with 2.5 mm of aluminum - equivalent filtration were used .
one centimeter of
soft tissue equivalent material was used to simulate scatter radiation and beam
attenuation from facial tissues .
all film radiographs were developed in
automatic film processor ( velopex , extra - x , medivance instruments ltd .
, london , uk , and nw107a ) with freshly prepared solutions in the same
day .
the ccd - based
system to be evaluated was the radiovisiography ( rvg , 2000 model , trophy
radiologie , paris , france ) .
digital images were obtained with 32 cm sensor to focal spot distance with an exposure
time of 0.08 seconds under the same standardized conditions and were stored
using the rvg image management software .
the film
radiographs were assessed using a masked light box and a 2x magnification x - viewer
( luminosa , csn industrie , cinisello
balsamo , italy )
by three clinicians independently in a quiet room with subdued ambient
lighting .
images from the digital system were displayed on a 17-inch monitor in
the same ambient lighting .
the observers indicated their decision separately for each
interproximal side of the teeth by masking other side with the use of a black
cartoon .
they assessed the extent of the
carious lesions according to a 5-point rating scale ( table 1 ) .
the
proximal surfaces were first colored with a solution of propylene glycol with
added basic fucsin ( 0.5% ) for 10 seconds and rinsed in tap water .
then , the
teeth were hemisectioned perpendicularly to the proximal surfaces from their
santral fossas by a diamond disc under water - cooling .
two sections were obtained ,
each section was examined under stereomicroscope ( olympus sz 60 , tokyo , japan ) with a 10x magnification .
two observers not
participating in the study both experienced in histological examination and
being blinded to the
radiographic appearance of the surfaces evaluated the sections by consensus
according to a 5-point confidence scale ( table 1 )
.
one way variance of analysis ( anova ) and pairwise comparisons
( scheffe test ) were performed for comparison of observers .
the diagnostic
accuracies of the four diagnostic systems were assessed from the area under the
roc curve ( az ) .
the
rating scales were dichotomized as presence or absence of caries during the
analysis .
score 0 in both radiographic and histological scales was detected as
absence of caries and the others were detected as presence of caries .
histological examination of the teeth
confirmed that 61 ( 63.54% ) of the proximal surfaces were caries free , whereas
35 ( 36.46% ) of proximal surfaces determined caries lesions of different depths .
the numbers of
proximal surfaces for each score according to the histological examination are
shown in table 2 .
statistically significant difference was found
between three observers at 99% confidence interval ( p < .01 )
according to anova .
no statistically significant difference was
found between 1st and 2nd observers ( p < .05 ) and there was statistically
significant difference between both 1st and 3rd observers and 2nd and 3rd observers
( p <
the first roc
curve ( figure 1 ) is illustrated by considering
assessments of 1st observer due to no statistically
significant difference between 1st and 2nd observers and the second roc curve ( figure
2 ) is illustrated for 3rd observer .
areas under
the roc curve ( az ) and standard errors are
shown in table 4 and analysis of az values are shown in
table 5 . for both 1st and 3rd observers ,
no statistically significant difference was
found between operating microscope - unaided visual examination and film radiography
( insight)-rvg in 95% confidence interval according to pairwise comparison ( p < .05 ) . there was a statistically
significant difference between operating microscope - film radiography , operating
microscope - rvg , unaided visual examination - film radiography , unaided visual
examination- rvg in 95% confidence interval according to pairwise
comparison ( p < .05 ) for both 1st and 3rd observers .
the efficiency of operating
microscope was compared with unaided visual examination , film and digital
intraoral radiography for proximal caries detection according to roc analysis
in this study .
recently , many
researchers have advocated the use of roc analysis to assess diagnostic methods
for the detection of dental caries .
validity of roc analysis can be
assessed by increasing the number of tooth surfaces , increasing the rating
scale , and uniform distribution of caries depths . in this study ,
the
sample was relatively large , 5-point rating scale was used , and the distribution
of caries depths was not
uniform .
area under the roc curve ( az value ) gives useful
information to measure accuracy of a diagnostic system .
the az values of unaided visual examination and operating microscope were equal and
lower than the radiographic methods .
interobserver reliability is an important
factor for this aim . on the
other hand
, training and experience of
observers may affect intra-
and interobserver agreements .
syriopoulos et al . emphasized
that diagnosis of the radiologists was significantly closer to actual lesion
depth than that of general practitioners .
two of the observers were the
specialists of oral diagnosis and radiology , the
other observer was a specialist of restorative dentistry of at least 10 years
of experience in this study .
no statistically significant difference was found
between the two specialists
of oral diagnosis and radiology for all diagnostic
systems ( p < .05 ) , but there was a statistically
significant difference between the specialist of restorative dentistry and the
specialists of oral diagnosis and radiology ( p < .05 ) .
the az values were found to be 0.800 , 0.793 , and 0.650 for film radiography , rvg , and both
unaided visual examination and operating microscope , respectively , according to
assessments of 1st observer .
the az values were
found to be 0.773 , 0.760 , 0.533 for film radiography , rvg , and both unaided
visual examination and operating microscope , respectively , according to
assessments of 3rd observer in this study .
the az values of 1st observer were higher than 3rd observer for all diagnostic
methods .
this condition may be due to the fact that the specialists of oral diagnosis and radiology were more experienced than other specialists about
diagnostic and radiographic methods . due to difficulty of proximal caries
diagnosis with only visual examination ,
the combination of visual
inspection and bitewing radiographic images is accepted as a standard procedure
in proximal caries detection [ 5 , 19 ] .
machiulskiene et al . reported that
the clinical examination alone detected about 60% of the total number of proximal
cavitated dentin lesions , and bitewing examination detected about 90% of these
lesions .
but they emphasized that the clinical examination is a more effective
method in noncavitated enamel lesions . in this study ,
the radiographic methods
were better than clinical examinations for proximal caries diagnosis in
conformity with previous studies [ 19 , 21 ] .
. the operator should be careful and not change the position as far
as possible .
it was reported that the ideal operator zones are in the 7 to 12
o'clock positions for right - handed operators , and 5 to 12 o'clock for left ones .
the researchers studied at 12 o'clock position and not changed the
position of operating microscope during the examinations in this study .
currently , magnifying visual aids such as magnification
eyeglasses , stereo microscope , and also digital imaging with
magnification are used in proximal caries detection in some studies and they
reported that these methods are effective .
however , haak et al . reported that
prism loupe or surgical microscope does not improve the ability to diagnose
proximal caries . in this study ,
the efficiency of operating microscope was evaluated by comparing with unaided visual
examination , film and digital intraoral radiography for proximal caries
detection according to roc analysis .
no statistically significant difference
was found between operating microscope and unaided visual examination ( p < .05 ) , and there was a statistically
significant difference between operating microscope and both two radiographic
systems ( p < .05 ) . in conclusion ,
the efficiency of operating microscope
was found statistically equal with unaided visual examination and lower than
film and digital intraoral radiography according to roc analysis . because the
operating microscope is expensive and requires equipment and operator experience ,
according to the results of this in vitro study
it can be said that use of this
device would not improve to make an accurate diagnosis of proximal caries
lesions .
however , the accuracies of diagnostic methods with magnifying visual
aids should be investigated and clinical usefulness of these methods in dental
practice should be discussed in vitro and in vivo with several studies in which
the numbers of
samples are larger and rating scales are increased by comparing conventional
methods for proximal caries detection . | pubmed |
What happens if you mix two insoluble liquids but with the same density? [closed]
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Would it make two separate phases? or would it make something like and emulsion?
There is no "or" in the first place. An emulsion **is** a two-phased system, it is just that one phase comes in a form of small droplets. Small as they are, however, they are pretty big from molecular point of view.
Now to the point. If you stir the liquids vigorously, you'll have an emulsion. Short of that, they will attempt to minimize the surface, and the shape with minimal surface is a **sphere**. Indeed, that's what you will end up with. It's been done before. Look up the [Plateau's oil drop experiment](http://www.sciencemuseum.ugent.be/engl-plat9.html): they put oil in a water/ethanol mixture with ratio tuned so as to match the density of oil, and behold, it just floats there in a huge spherical drop.
If both liquids get in contact with the wall, the geometry might become more complicated. The phase separation surface will develop certain [contact angle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contact_angle) where it touches the wall, and the rest of it will form some kind of [minimal surface](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minimal_surface), which can be surprisingly diverse.
So it goes.
Well, if you are speaking about an equilibrium mixture of two pure substances, then you would not have an emulsion, since an emulsion of two such substances would not be thermodynamically stable. Formation of an emulsion requires an additional energy input to form the unstable dispersion.
The stable structure (for instance a sphere or two side-by-side solutions) is a question for surface chemistry. Insolubility [implies](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surface_tension#Thermodynamics) that the surface tension between the fluids is greater than zero (molecules in the pure liquids have a lower free energy than at the liquid-liquid interface). The result is that the liquids will attempt to minimize contact with each other. If the densities are identical, this will result not in an emulsion but in the liquids occupying side-by-side volumes, provided (as Ivan's answer points out) contact with the walls is more favorable than between the fluids, and the tension between each fluid and the container is identical. If the tension of one of the fluids in contact with the wall is lower than that of the other, then the second liquid will form a volume with a minimum surface enclosed by the first liquid (as Ivan points out).
Also, [lava lamps](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lava_lamp) are a fun illustration of the physical chemistry at work. Note that here thermal energy and mechanical mixing lead to fusion and breakage of globs of one liquid suspended in another. The surface tension of the glob-forming liquid in contact with the lamp walls is higher than that of the other liquid, which explains why it forms suspended globs. If the globs had a lower tension than the other liquid when in contact with the container walls, they would tend to partition to the walls (although shear due to fluid motion might keep them suspended). The density of the liquids is kept in flux, transitioning via heating and cooling through a density equivalence point that causes the globs to rise and fall.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
October Road 1. Chapter 1
Janet sat at her kitchen table crying, trying to absorb the sad news that Hannah had told her just minutes before on the phone. Sully was dead. Hannah said it was a massive heart attack. Sully dead, Janet just couldn't believe it. She had spoken to him as always on Sunday night. Their night to talk over the phone about their week. She cherished those conversations. They rattled on about everything from beer deliveries to the Sox to how the Knight's were doing this year in football . How she was doing and more importantly , how Thad was and how he was growing by leaps and bounds.
Thad, her son, almost seven now and the light of her life. He was that bright spot. Her beautiful, kind son. She wished now that Sully had come to Maine to visit her and meet Thad. It was something that they always discussed but never had made definitive plans to do. Sully was busy as was Janet. It had been almost eight years, since she had moved away from Knight's Ridge.
Eight years ago Janet reflected. It seemed like a lifetime. Shortly after Hannah's wedding, Janet made the decision to move away from the Ridge. It was an agonizing one. She had found out that she was pregnant. Her and Hannah had spent many hours going over her options. None of them were good. For one thing, Janet wasn't sure who the father was, Eddie or Rooster. With the timing and all, it could have been either one of them. Yes, she had been on birth control, but she had been naïve. No one had told her that being on antiabotics for an infection could compromise the pill's effectiveness.
Janet and Hannah had finally agreed that the best option was for Janet to move. To start a new life away from the Ridge. Hannah knew all too well how difficult it would be for Janet to stay and have to face the scrutiny of the good citizens of Knight's Ridge. There was no "Gavin Goddard" for them to invent.
That route would never fly with Janet, as it had with Hannah.
So, Janet had moved to Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Old Orchard Beach was just two hours away from Knight's Ridge but far enough to risk not running into people from home. She had remembered how she loved visiting there as a child with her own family and how she had wanted to live there one day. She loved the beach, the pier, whale watching, fireworks on the Fourth of July--it was a magically place for her when she was young. She had hoped that it would be a magical place once again. I place where she could magically forget the pain that she had caused Eddie and for that matter herself when she had stupidly gotten drunk and slept with Rooster that one night.
Just at that moment, Thad came bounding in the house. Mike and his mom, Sally following behind him. "Mom, you should have gone with us to the movie, it was awesome." Thad came dancing into the kitchen and stopped cold when he saw her sitting at the kitchen table. "Mom, what goes on?" Thad hardly ever saw his mom sitting around in the middle of the day, she was always on the go. He knew something had to be wrong, his mom was always smiling and sunny. He had the best mom in the world he imagined. Nothing got her down for long. She always made the best of every situation.
Janet looked up at her son and gasped. The more he matured, the more Janet was certain that he was Eddie's son. She had really figured that out the day Thad was born. There was no doubt who his father was when in the delivery room they had handed him to her announcing, "It's a boy". Janet had gasped then and said in a soft whisper, "Eddie". She knew then and as each day passed knew even more that Thad was Eddie's.
"Mom, are you alright?" Thad's words jolted Janet from her thoughts. "Oh, Thad, you know how we always talk to Sully from Knight's Ridge? Well, I just got off the phone with Hannah and she told me that Sully has died." Janet tried to pull herself together but just saying those words out loud made her start to sob again.
Quietly, Thad crossed the room, placed his arms around her and leaned his head against her temple. In a slow, soft voice he said, "Mom, I'm sorry, I know how much Sully meant to you. But everything is going to be fine, trust me." With his free hand turned up and cocking his head to one side he looked her in the eyes and said, "You believe me, don't you?"
Janet smiled at him through the tears and nodded. God, how that got to her when he did things like that. It was so--Eddie. How many times had she seen that expression on Eddie's face? How many times did Thad's smile and up turned hands when he spoke remind her of the man that she had loved so desperately. How could she forget Eddie when a miniature version of him was standing in front of her everyday?
Sally spoke up, "Janet, is there anything I can do?" "Thanks for asking Sally but I'm not even sure what I'm going to do." "Well, you are going to Knight's Ridge for the funeral aren't you?"
Janet sighed, "I haven't really had time to consider that to be honest with you. But yeah, I really should go, Sully was more to me than a boss, he was my friend, more like a second father to me really. So yeah, I guess I'll go to his funeral." "Then I'll take care of everything here for you for as long as you need me to." Sally replied. "Collect your mail and papers, water your plants, whatever." "Thanks, Sally, I'd appreciate that." "No problem, you and Thad just take all the time you need in Knight's Ridge."
Her and Thad going to Knight's Ridge, Janet couldn't imagine how that would be. Besides Hannah and Sully, no one in Knight's Ridge even knew she had a son, and she had sworn them to secrecy. Janet didn't even know if Eddie was still in the Ridge but she couldn't imagine him leaving there. For all she knew he could be seriously involved with someone, maybe even married. It had been a taboo subject with them. It was an unspoken rule with Sully and Hannah that they didn't bring him up in their conversations on the telephone. Janet never had the nerve to ask either one of them and they understood not to tell her unless she did ask them. Janet put those thoughts out of her mind, saying goodbye to Sully was more important now. She had to go. She had no choice. She would just have to deal with the Eddie situation, if and when it came up.
2. Chapter 2
Janet's New Life-Chapter 2
The next morning Janet dragged herself into work. Sal looked up when she entered. "Janet, what goes on?" "Why", she replied, "do I look that bad?" Sal stood and approached her. "Well, let's just say, if I didn't know you better, I'd say it looked like you had a night out on the town. But since I do know you better, I'd say something is really troubling you. It looks as if you didn't get any sleep last night."
Sal, her new boss, was so much like Sully, her old boss. He was gruff sounding on the outside, but a real push over on the inside. Sal of Sal's Trucking had hired Janet right off the bat. As he said, he couldn't have picked anyone better to be the dispatcher at his trucking firm than someone who had been a barkeep. And after getting a glowing reference from Sully, Sal knew that Janet could not only handle the drivers but also the customers with ease. She would be someone who could think on her feet, muti-tasking away like it was the only way to do things. Sal knew after Janet's first day of work that he had made a good choice. She not only could keep the drivers in line, she also could keep the customers happy. She was a god send and he paid her well for her talents.
Janet slumped down at her desk and told Sal about Sully. She no sooner finished when Sal picked up her purse handing it to her and said "Go home, pack up and head down to Knight's Ridge. Take all the time you need and don't worry about things here, we'll manage somehow without you." Janet managed a weak smile, "I appreciate that Sal and I do plan on going to the funeral, but not until I get some things organized around here, I don't want to leave you in a lurch."
"That's not necessary Janet, you should just go home now and not worry about this place." "Really, Sal, I'd feel better if I just spend a little bit of time filling out the schedule for next week and calling some customers to confirm shipments. It won't take me long and things will go smoother when I'm gone." Sal nodded an OK, he figured there was no use arguing with Janet when she was determined to do something. So he just let the matter drop. "Alright then," Sal added, "but I want you to take as much time as you need off and spend some time with your friends from Knight's Ridge and relax, deal?" "Yeah, you've got a deal, Sal."
Relax, Janet thought. That's the last thing she'd be able to do in Knight's Ridge. How could she relax when the last several years were going to come back to haunt her? Now, she understood how Nick must have felt returning to the Ridge after being gone ten years. Nick had returned to find out about Sam and wondered if Sam was his. When Eddie saw her and Thad, how would he react? Would it be as obvious to him and it was to her that Thad was his son? And how was Janet going to explain why she hadn't contacted him especially after Thad was born? Yep, relaxing in the Ridge just wasn't in the cards.
3. Chapter 3
Chapter 3- Can you really go back home again?
Janet had packed up her Jeep the night before her and Thad were leaving for the Ridge. She wanted to get down to Hannah's early the next day so her and Hannah could catch up on things before Sully's wake. As per Sully's last wishes, a traditional Irish wake was to be held at Sully's. Leave it to Sully to have planned the whole thing ahead of time. The food, the drinks, the music, he had planned it all down to the last detail. He didn't want to burden anyone and he certainly wanted to make sure everyone had a good time. To celebrate his life, not to morn his passing. Sully's, the man and the place, had been such a huge part of her life, Janet couldn't help but to get choked up thinking about it.
Thad as always was flipping through the radio stations as they cruised on down the highway. Scanning up and down the dial, Thad hit an oldies station that was playing one of Janet's favorite songs. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison. Much to Thad's disliking, she sang along to the song with gusto. Maybe going to the Ridge wasn't going to be as bad as she thought it would be. Maybe Eddie would avoid her and she wouldn't have to answer any questions he might have. Yeah, she thought and maybe I eat corn dogs for the corn! The song ended and the next song came on loud and clear--S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night. Janet grabbed for the radio hitting the scan button as fast as she could almost swerving into the next lane.
"Mom" Thad yelled, "what are you doing?" "I'm sorry Thad, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just, well, the Bay City Rollers, not one of my favorite bands." "Wow, it's one thing not liking a band, but another thing to get into to an accident over a song." Thad said slumping down in his seat.
Janet shook her head, Thad was way too smart for his age, she decided. What kid talked like that as his age? He was always quick to catch on to things, too quick sometimes. She wanted him to stay her baby forever but already he talked as if he was a teenager at times. They were still close sure, but he was anything but a baby anymore. He reminder her of that often enough. Like "Mom, I can wash my own face" or "Mom, don't hug me in front of the guys, OK?" He was almost seven but going on seventeen, Janet decided. But he was hers and he was beautiful. Every minute she spent with him was precious.
4. Chapter 4
Chapter 4-Janet's New Life
Janet and Thad pulled up to Hannah's house. It looked exactly like it did the day Janet had left. Sam came out the front door and down the walk to greet them. Thad jumped out of the car and went to see him. They were buddies according to Thad. Sam had spent sometime with them during the summers. Hannah came up to Old Orchard Beach to visit them at least a couple times a year. "Where's Hannah, Sam?" Janet questioned. "We didn't expect you guys this soon so mom went to Sully's to deliver some bars that she made for the wake." Darn, Janet thought, she really was anxious to talk to Hannah about today and what she should do if she ran into Eddie. She really hoped she be here. As if reading her mind Sam said, "Don't worry Janet, she should be back anytime now."
Sam had grown into a handsome man. He was taller than Hannah now. A senior in high school. "Have you picked out a college yet, Sam?" "Not yet, I have to give it more thought. You know my mom wants me to stay close by but I haven't really decided if that's what I want to do. Got to keep my options open you know. That's what my dad tells me all the time."
Sam had referred to Nick as his dad for a few years now. The had grown close. Hannah had told her that her and Nick were also keeping their options open. They had been dating for nearly five years now but decided to put off taking it to the next step until Sam graduated and decided where he was going to college. Janet remembered back to the break up of Hannah's and Ray's marriage. Boy, she was glad she wasn't Hannah during that time. Ray did his best to make Hannah's life miserable. Janet wished she could have been here for her friend, maybe she could have helped in some way. Ray never got over the fact that Nick was Sam's dad and rubbed Hannah's face into it every chance he got. But the last straw was when Hannah found out through Ikey that Ray had been the instigator of a lot of bad things that had gone down in the Ridge that involved her friends. Ikey overheard a conversation between Ray and Matt Lausch and in loyalty to Hannah filled her in on her husband's dirty deeds. Janet was glad that all that was in the past for her friend and that things had worked out with her and Nick. Janet had never seen Hannah so happy, so content with her life. And Nick made sure everyday that Hannah knew how important she and Sam were to him. He was in it for the long haul.
Just as Janet and Thad with Sam's help were carrying their things into the house, Hannah pulled up.
"Janet, Thad, I didn't think you'd get here so soon." "We got an early start and made good time."
"Great, then we'll have some time for girl talk before we have to head down to Sully's. Let's get the coffeepot on."
5. Chapter 5
Janet's New Life - Chapter 5
Janet sipped her coffee as Hannah sat down across the table from her. "So, give me all the latest dish about the Ridge." "Well, Pizza Girl and Phil are flying back from Africa to come to Sully's wake." Janet knew from conversations with Hannah and the news media that Phil and Pizza Girl had been busy doing humanitarian missions with the Gates ever since Phil invented the newest, hottest, gaming system, the "Phys", for Microsoft. It was way cooler and better than the Wii-3 according to Thad and all his friends. Phil and Pizza Girl had been married for five years and used their fortune to further their causes.
"That's great, I've missed seeing Pizza Girl. I get an occasional email from her and Phil but it's just not the same. So how is Aubrey and Ronnie and the kids?"
Over the next few minutes Hannah described the antics of the Garret Triplets, Bobby, Robby and Bert., all of them named after their grandfather, Robert Garrett. Leave it to Ronnie to insist on that one. And a prouder grandfather you'd never meet. Robert Garrett, the Commander, and his wife, Leslie just adored their grandsons. And of course, their other grandson, Sam. Hannah and Nick couldn't have been happier for Aubrey and Ronnie and they helped out with babysitting I, II, and III as they were sometimes referred to, whenever they could. They were a handful that was for sure and Aubrey and Ronnie always appreciated the break. "They are like two lovebirds", Hannah laughed. "I don't think their honeymoon will ever be over."
"Tell me more about what goes on while we get ready to go to Sully's." Janet said to Hannah as she got up from the table. "How's Owen and Allison, and Ikey and his new bride, Karen?" Hannah dished about the friends as they changed their clothes and freshened up in her large master bathroom. "Everything is really great for the gang, Janet. See things do work out in the end. Nick and I couldn't be happier for all of them."
Janet went and sat on Hannah's bed and look down at her hands on her lap. "OK, Hannah, let's get it over with, I know I have to be forewarned before I walk into Sully's. What goes on with Eddie?"
Janet sat on the bed slightly shaking and with tears threatening to break loose as she looked up at Hannah. She didn't know if she could handle whatever her dear friend would have to tell her about Eddie, but she knew that she couldn't just go in blind if she was going to see Eddie at the wake. Janet realized she was holding her breath and she slow exhaled as Hannah sat quietly down next to her.
"You've always avoided the subject of Eddie, Janet, and I respected your wishes. I can see how you'd want to know about what's been going on with him. I mean, you know that he'll be at the wake and funeral. It would be impossible to avoid him and I'm sure he's going to have questions, especially when he sees Thad."
"I know Hannah, that's why I have to prepare myself. This isn't going to be easy for any of us. My god, Hannah, what am I going to say to him? He's going to be terribly mad at me for not telling him about Thad. What was I thinking?"
"Janet, don't be so hard on yourself. You know what you were thinking. You weren't sure who Thad's father was, for that matter you're still not 100 percent positive it's Eddie. I know what that's like. I've been there. Sure Nick left me before I realized I was pregnant and I was a mess, but at least when Nick left we were on good terms. It's just as much Eddie's fault that you didn't feel you could contact him and tell him about your pregnancy. You had to do what you did for yourself and your child. All mother's do what they feel they have to do for their children. It's what we do, don't beat yourself up over it."
"But Hannah, maybe that was true when I was just pregnant but what about after Thad was born, just look at him. It's obvious to me that Eddie is his father."
"Maybe yes to you, but Janet, don't you think that some of that is because you want Eddie to be Thad's father and not Rooster? I see a whole lot of you in Thad too, you know. Yeah, he looks nothing like Rooster and maybe Eddie is his dad, but how can you be sure? You don't just spring that on a guy without some proof."
"I guess you're right but still, I don't know. There was a time in my life that I thought I could tell Eddie anything and he would understand. Of course, I was wrong about that--there's still times when I think about what he said to me when he was in the hospital. It hurts me to this day how he told me to go find place to rot and to get out of his room." Janet signed and bit her lower lip. "I'll deal with that hurt like I have been all these years, but I need to know what else I have to deal with, so let me have it, what's Eddie been doing all these years?"
6. Chapter 6
Janet's New Life- Chapter 6
Hannah reached for Janet's hands and held them firmly. "All right, where do I begin? Nick and I have talked about this so often. It's been especially hard for Nick at times not to blurt out something to Eddie at work. You know how guys are."
Janet nodded. "Blurt out what?"
"Tell Eddie about Thad, of course. Nick has had to get over the fact that he lost out on nearly ten years of Sam's life and he didn't want Eddie to go through that too. "
"That is exactly what I've worried about too. I mean Eddie missing out on Thad's early years and Thad missing out on that time too with his dad, that is if Eddie really is Thad's father. Are you telling me that Eddie has never gotten married in all these years and had children of his own, Hannah?"
"Not from lack of trying," Hannah chuckled. "Oh, Eddie has been well, Eddie, the serial dater. Him and Rory tried it for awhile but you could tell that neither one of them had their hearts into it. It was more like, I don't know, common problems. Like the song, If You Can't Be with the One You Love, Love the One You're With. That sort of thing."
"You mean, Rory wasn't Eddie's ideal woman. I guessed that was what he always wanted, the woman that turned every guys head."
"No Janet, both Nick and I could see through Eddie's pretense. He tried to put on a good act but it just didn't wash with those who knew him the best. Owen could see it to and he tried talking to him. Owen told him that he just needed to get over whatever was bugging him and go get back the one woman he truly loved. But Eddie was being his stubborn self. He wouldn't hear of it. Him and Owen nearly got into a knock down, drag out brawl over it, so everyone pretty much steered clear of the subject from then on."
"I didn't realize that all of you would be left here to worry about Eddie. I just assumed that he'd go on with his life as usual, re-living his glory days here in the Ridge."
"In my eyes, Janet, you were his glory days. That was when he was the happiest. Don't you realize that?"
"And I'm the woman who caused him the most heartbreak also, Hannah. There's no way getting around that!"
"Nick and I got around that kind of heartbreak, Janet, and I can honestly tell you that there is a way."
"Well, I'm here in Knight's Ridge for the next two weeks, so I guess we'll see if at least Eddie and I can talk to one another without tearing each other apart both inside and out."
Thad called out to Janet and Hannah from the bottom of the stairs. "Come on you two, we don't want to be late. I want to see what Sully's is like. I've heard so much about the place. Let's get a move on."
Janet smiled. "Impatient one isn't he. Gotta love him, though."
7. Chapter 7
Janet's New Life - Chapter 7
Janet and Thad followed Nick, Hannah and Sam into Sully's. What she really needed was a little recon team but she was just going to have to brave this one out herself. After a quick look around, she saw that Eddie hadn't arrived yet. That was good, she needed a little time to adjust to being back in the place where it all began.
Pizza Girl and Phil saw them and signaled them over to where they were standing talking to Owen and Allison. "Hey, what goes on Pizza Girl, I mean Laura. Boy, old habits die hard don't they?"
Pizza Girl smiled, "Actually, I love being called Pizza Girl, it keeps me grounded to my roots. And I will always be grateful because if it wasn't for the Ridge Pizza, I never would have met my Phil."
Janet began to relax and chatted with her friends after introducing them all to Thad at long last. Most of them didn't even know she had a son but kept their questions to a minimum. No one, thank God, asked about who Thad's father was at least.
--
Thad was the first one to notice Eddie entering the bar and walked right up to him. "You're Eddie Latteka, aren't you?"
"Yeah." Eddie looked down at the kid standing in front of him. "How do you know who I am?"
"Sully told me all about you. Me and Sully we talked every Sunday since I was four years old. And when I got my computer and Sully got one, we Im'ed each other almost every night. Sully always said that I reminded him of you."
"Yeah?" Eddie was confused. He had never heard Sully mention instant messaging any kid. Especially a kid that reminded him of himself. He couldn't imagine Sully even knowing how to turn on a computer.
"I play peewee football, Sully told me all about your football days and you winning the championship for the Knight's. Sully said someday I should come live in Knight's Ridge and play football here, too."
"He did?"
"Yeah, Sully said that he was sure I'd grow up and be as tall and as big as you someday."
"He did?" Eddie started looking around to try and figure out just who this kid belonged to.
"Yup, Sully told me that someday I'd win the trophy for the Knight's again. He said he couldn't wait to see that. I guess he won't get the chance now, tho." Thad added with a sigh.
"What's your name kid?"
"Thad, well really it's Thaddeus, but everyone calls me Thad. Sully talked my mom into calling me it, he thought it would be a good name for me."
"He did?" Um, what's your last name Thad?"
"Meadows."
Eddie nearly choked, "As in Janet Meadows?"
"Cool, you know my mom!"
Eddie looked at Thad closer now and the realization hit him, Thad looked a heck of a lot like he did at his age. Speaking of age. "How old are you?"
"I'll be seven next April."
Eddie did some quick math before asking, "Where's your mom Thad?"
--
Janet was busy talking to Allison about the new house her and Owen were building when she noticed Pizza Girl and Phil leaning into each other smiling and looking over Janet's shoulder. Janet was wondering what they were looking at so she turn slightly to see--Oh boy, Thad was talking to of all people, Eddie!!
Just then Eddie looked up to where Thad was pointing directly at her and Eddie locked eyes with her. The look said nothing like "I'm glad to see you again. It was more like "I want to strangle you."
Eddie hesitated for a second when he saw Janet standing there and then he announced to Thad, "Come on kid, we're going to go talk to your mom. There's something I need to ask her, and right now.!"
"Sure Eddie, I just think it's rad that you know my mom. I just bet she'll be happy to see you again!"
"Yeah, I'm sure she will be." Eddie growled.
--
Janet had to move and move fast. She strode toward Eddie and Thad with a panicked smile plastered on her face. "Oh, hi Eddie," she said quickly, "Thad we really should get going back to Hannah's, we've had a long day and tomorrow is going to be another one. I think we should leave right now, buddy."
Eddie was flabbergasted but he managed to speak, "We need to talk, Janet, now!!"
"Oh, I'd really like that Eddie, but I have to take Thad back to Hannah's, it's late and all. We can talk later." Janet was amazed that she was able to speak so nonchalantly. What she really wanted to do is breakdown and start crying and that just wouldn't be the best thing to do right now. Not in front of Thad and certainly not in front of Eddie. "We'll catch up later, ok, Eddie?" She tipped her head toward thad and hoped Eddie caught her drift.
Eddie took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right, you need to get Thad home, but WE WILL TALK SOON JANET!" "REAL SOON!"
8. Chapter 8
Janet's New Life - Chapter 8
Sully's funeral was the next day. It was held at St. Bridget's Irish Catholic Church and Sully's old friend, Father O'Halloran gave the eulogy. Janet sat next to Thad holding his hand and cried during most of the service. She really thought the world of Sully and would miss their weekly phone chats. At least Karen, her old barmate and now Ikey's new wife had promised her that she would carry on the tradition and call Janet on Sunday nights for a Ridge update.
Eddie sat a three pews behind Janet and Thad and heard nothing of what the old priest had said about Sully. But there wasn't much about Sully that Eddie didn't know, the guy always made it a point to know what was going on in Eddie's life-good or bad. It was Sully who had given Eddie a vacation to Jamaica two years ago. Sure it wasn't exactly what Eddie had expected. I mean, what was Sully thinking sending him to that couples resort? He was the only single guy in the whole place. Most of the people there were on their honeymoons. Eddie remembered the desk clerk inquiring about the other person in his party. It was like the guy was expecting Eddie to have brought along a date. Eddie thought he was going to meet some single, hot chicks there, instead he spent most of his vacation sitting alone on the beach or taking in the sights by himself. Boy, he gave Sully a piece of his mind when he got back. Sully just shrugged and said that he was hoping things would have been different but there was nothing he could do.
"Sully chose cremation because it was his last wish that his ashes be spread along the cliffs of his beloved Ireland," Father O'Halloran announced, "and so it shall be." Janet thought how fitting Sully always did love Ireland and went there a couple of times. Not nearly enough though, he would say. Too hard to leave the bar for that long.
After a tenor sang Sully's favorite song, "Danny Boy" everyone filed out of the church. Father O'Halloran stopped Eddie and asked to talk to him in the vestibule. "Eddie, Sully loved you like a son and it was his wish that you would take his ashes to Ireland and spread them. I have a plane ticket for you and your flight leaves tonight my boy. I trust that you will carry out Sully's wishes to the "t".
Eddie was taken back. How could he leave for Ireland right away, he needed to talk to Janet and get some answers. But he replied, "Father, I'd be honored." After all what could he do, Sully had been like a dad to him.
--
Janet and everyone else arrived back at Hannah's for a luncheon when Father O'Halloran pulled her aside. "Janet, Sully loved you like a daughter and it was his wish that you would go to Ireland and spread his ashes as he wished. Now I have a plane ticket for you and your flight leaves tonight. I've taken care of getting the ashes on board the flight and I trust that you will be there for Sully as he was for you."
Janet was hesitant until Hannah said "No worries, I'll keep Thad here with me. You go on, Janet, it's what Sully wanted."
What could she say? Of course, she'd go. Good thing she had her passport here. It was at Sully's Bar, it had been for nearly two years. Sully had planned on sending her on a vacation back then to Jamaica, but she had to cancel at the last minute when Thad had come down with the Chicken Pox. Sully was upset to say the least but he finally relented. She never would have dreamed of going on a vacation when Thad needed her, so Sully had given in. He just seems so disappointed. Janet was determined not to disappoint him again. She would go to Ireland.
--
9. Chapter 9
Janet's New Life - Chapter 9
Janet hugged Hannah before getting into Pizza Girl's and Phil's limo that would take her to the airport. "Where's Nick, I want to say goodbye and thank him for everything?"
"He had an errand to run but he said not to worry about anything. We have it covered." Hannah knew that Nick was taking Eddie to the airport but couldn't tell Janet that or she would bolt.
Thad, Phil and Pizza Girl went along for the ride to catch Janet's flight to Ireland. She was a little relieved that she wouldn't have to face Eddie quite yet. She wondered if Eddie would spend sometime with Thad when she was gone. She had seen them talking again before the funeral and wondered what that was about. Thad had said that they just had talked about a bunch of stuff. They sure seemed to have hit it off, Janet thought.
They had gotten caught in traffic so Janet hugged everyone at the curb and dashed off to catch her flight. She gave a quick wave to Thad before she turned to go through the doors and felt a tug on her heart. This would be the first time she'd be away from her son since his birth.
Janet arrived at the boarding area just in time and was the last one aboard. She hurried to her seat apologizing to the other passengers along the way. When she reached her assigned seat she reached up to stow her carry on before looking at the passenger seated in the window seat next to her and started to say "sorry". Janet looked down and the words caught in her throat. "Eddie?"
Eddie couldn't believe his eyes when he looked away from the window when he heard his name and saw Janet standing there. He saw her head jerk toward the boarding hatch just as it was closing and then she quickly glanced around as if looking for another empty seat. "Sit down Janet" he announced as if it was an order.
Janet was visibly flustered. Damn, she thought, too late now. The flight attendant approached settling everyone in their seats and closing the overhead compartments. There was no way out so she slumped in the seat next to Eddie and let out a groan. Her hands were shaking as she tried to fasten her seat belt.
Eddie reached over and secured her in and in a raspy voice said, "You're not getting away from me again, Janet."
Janet looked sideways at Eddie and wanted to blurt out that she never wanted to go away from him ever that she had wanted them to be together forever, but she knew that's not how he meant his comment. She bit back her words and instead just muttered a weak "thanks" and then looked at the container on his lap. "Is that Sully?"
"Yup, I guess Sully meant for both of us to spread his ashes. Doesn't surprised me being Sully and all."
Janet leaned forward and with both hands on her head muttered "Sully, you're toast." Then she looked again at the urn and turned red, "Oh my God, I don't believe I said that!"
Eddie let out a small chuckle, "A little too late for that, huh?" Eddie paused before adding, "A little too late for a lot of things. But since we're stuck together now and you can't get away, you'd better start talking, Janet. What goes on?"
Janet looked at the back of the seat in front of her as the plane began it's assent. She wondered if planes had parachutes aboard maybe she could take her chances and jump. Anything but trying to explain herself to Eddie. What could she say when she really found it hard to put into words what she felt? But Eddie was right, he did deserve some sort of explanation, so she straightened her shoulders and turned slightly towards him before firmly stating, "What do you want to know about, Eddie?"
Eddie's anger flared for a second, she knew damn well what he wanted to know about. Eddie held his anger back, he knew that if he was going to get any answers from Janet he would have to take the soft approach. If he got angry with her, Janet would just shut him out until he had calmed down. Some things you don't forget about a person that you have been close to. Close to, hell, Eddie thought, someone that you were in love with at one time. Someone you had thought about a future with. A future with children. Hell, he might already have a son that he didn't know about. Eddie's mind flashed on Thad. He really liked the kid, he liked his style. Thad came right up to him and announced what was on his mind. Eddie felt somehow tied to him, it was a feeling he had never felt before. Eddie couldn't find the words to describe it really, it just felt good. Janet's soft voice shook him from his thoughts, "Eddie?"
Eddie looked out the window to the clouds and uttered one word, "Thad."
Janet took a deep breath before speaking, "Eddie, I don't know what to say. I know I should have contacted you when I found out I was pregnant, but I wasn't sure."
"What weren't you sure of, Janet?"
Janet paused for a moment before whispering, "If you were the father. I mean not when I was pregnant anyway but after Thad was born and as he got older, well, I thought that maybe you were--I mean just to look at him and all--but not 100 percent--I couldn't be 100 percent sure, without you know--" Her words trailed off, she didn't know how to put her thoughts together, how to explain to him so it made sense to him or to her. Janet had never had to justify not contacting Eddie or Rooster for that matter. Didn't they have a right to know? "Oh Eddie, I'm sorry, it's just too hard to explain."
"Try, Janet." Eddie couldn't look at her so he continued looking out at the clouds. He could be a father, a father, how could this be? He needed to know or did he? What would that change really? He would take responsibility that was for sure but would he have the chance to be a part of his son's life? He already missed the beginning but what about the rest of his life? What kind of a dad would he be?
"At first I hated myself, Eddie, not just for what I did to you, to us, but also what I did to some poor innocent child. A child who might never know who his real dad was. But being pregnant changed me, I loved every moment of it. I made sure I ate right, got enough sleep, took my prenatal vitamins, went to all my check ups. For once in my life I had someone to take care of, to nurture. I felt like, I don't know, that somehow if I took care of this child, I could make up for the mistakes that I had made. That I could make things right. I want to make things right, Eddie."
Eddie finally turned away from the window toward Janet, "How did you come up with the name Thad?" he asked.
Janet laughed, "That was Sully's idea. When I told him finally I was pregnant he said he was certain I'd have a boy and that I should name him Thad, well Thaddeus actually. I told him I wasn't sure about that but Sully would always refer to the baby as Thad when we talked on the phone. He'd call every week and say something like "How are you and Thad doing?" or "Take good care of yourself and Thad, Janet." Stuff like that. He'd say it so often that I found myself calling my growing belly, Thad." Janet placed her hands on her stomach remembering the warm feeling having a child growing in her gave her.
Eddie looked at Janet and saw the warmth and love radiating from her. He wished he could have seen her pregnant, he couldn't imagine this woman glowing more than she already did. He always loved that about her, her glow.
"Anyway", Janet continued, "when Thad was born, it just came natural that that was going to be his name.
And after his birth, well, I really struggled on what to do. I wanted to acknowledge who his father was but I wasn't sure if I had the right to force the issue. I guess my mothering instinct really took hold then, I wanted to protect Thad from any hurt. I didn't know if the father, his father, would you know take responsibility. Not that you wouldn't take responsibility Eddie, I know you would have but I was confused and uncertain if it was the right thing to do for Thad. I mean want if it turned out that you weren't the father? I didn't want to think about the alternative. What if someone else was the father?" Janet couldn't say, much less think of the possibility of Rooster being the father of her child. She pushed the thought of that from her head. Not that Rooster was a bad person, he had been a friend after all, but as a father to her child? She didn't want to think of that, not now, not ever.
"I know I've been unfair to you Eddie, you had a right to at least know that there was a possibility that Thad was your son but I was trying to do what was best. Not for me or for Thad's biological father, but for Thad. I didn't mean to hurt anyone."
"I know you'd never intentionally hurt anyone, Janet, but I think that I--both of us--should have been given the chance to know that I--we--could have a child, a son."
"I know Eddie, God, how I know. Every time I look at Thad I worry about failing him somehow, I want to give him everything, but more than anything I want to give him a father, a good father. I just didn't know how to make that possible."
Eddie could feel the struggle that Janet must have gone through. He knew that never in her life had Janet Meadows put herself first, she always put others ahead of herself. Having a child would only reinforce that trait. He imagined her like a bear protecting her cub. Cliché for sure, Janet Meadows absolutely.
Eddie realized that they were the only ones on the plane still with their overhead light on, everyone else's was turned off and they were probably asleep. "We'd better try and get some sleep or we'll be walking zombies by the time we land. We'll talk some more when we get to Ireland." Eddie carefully placed Sully's ashes on the floor between his feet and turned off the overhead light.
"All right," Janet said, "we'll talk later, I am tired. It's been a long two days." Janet and Eddie tipped their seats back and turned toward each other at the same time and said "Night". Their eyes locked for just long enough and held before Janet closed her eyes. She couldn't look at the man that she had betrayed for a second longer. She couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes. What had she done to him, to the man that she had loved with all her heart. How could she take away that hurt?
Eddie kept his eyes open looking at Janet's face, her long lashes, soft eyes and softer hair. He felt the need to touch the side of her face, to caress his thumb over her cheeks, to feel her skin. He crossed his arms instead pinning his hands under his armpits. No, it hurt too much to think of wanting to touch Janet. He had spent too many days and nights trying to get over her, to what had happened. He never let anyone get close to him the way he had let her. He never let anyone into his heart like she had been. He couldn't, no matter how much he wanted to, let himself touch her again, let her touch him again. So he tipped his head back and away from her and tried to get some sleep himself, he would deal with her later. They would talk about Thad more when they got to Ireland. Sleep, that's wanted he needed now. He didn't need anything more than sleep right now or did he? He'd been empty for so long and yearned for more to fill his life. Sleep for now, but what about tomorrow and the next day and the days to come. Eddie wanted more--more of what he had and lost.
10. Chapter 10
Janet's New Life - Chapter 10
Janet fell right to sleep, but for Eddie sleep came less easily. When he was finally able to quiet his thoughts enough to doze off his sleep wasn't without dreams. He had a dream about him and Janet lying in bed. Eddie was lying on his back with Janet tucked next to his shoulder with locks of her hair laying across his bare chest. Eddie remembered feeling complete contentment in his dream. Listening to Janet's slow breathing as she slept. She was in her 8th month of pregnancy in his dream. The early morning sun was streaming in their open bedroom window and he could hear Thad out in the backyard playing catch with his new puppy. For Eddie that dream was heaven. He couldn't remember being happier or more fulfilled.
Eddie slowly awaken to find Janet's head resting on his shoulder with her hair laying across his arm. He reached over with his other hand and held a lock of her hair between his thumb and fingers. He gently rub the soft silky strand relishing the feel of it. He should have waken her but the dream he'd had earlier prevented him from breaking the spell.
The captain's voice crackled over the intercom that they were planning to land shortly and started giving landing instructions. Janet sat quickly up looking flush and embarrassed about falling to sleep on Eddie like that. She uttered a quick "sorry about that" to him and started straightening things up around her. "I guess we'll be landing at Shannon Airport shortly. I hope the weather is good. I'm really excited about meeting Sully's cousin and his wife, aren't you? " She knew she was rambling on but she didn't know how else to hide her embarrassment.
"Janet it's all right, old habits die hard. I know I've spent the last eight years trying to break them."
"It's not that Eddie, it's just that this thing with Sully, it's important to me. I want to do right by him, I don't want to mess it up." Janet felt the sting of his words all the same and tried to cover her hurt. So he thought of her as a habit that he had to break. Nothing more, just an old habit.
Eddie couldn't help but wish she wouldn't have messed things up with them eight years ago, but he didn't say that out loud to her. Part of him wanted to hurt her as badly as she had hurt him, but there was also a part of him that wanted to protect her from any hurt. You can't have it both ways he thought. Coming in for a landing stopped Eddie from contemplating his conflicting feelings any further. They were in Ireland and they had a job to do, that was all. The spreading of Sully's ashes.
Getting off the plane they were greeted by Conor and Maggie Sullivan who stepped up to them right away.
"Ah, Eddie my lad, I'd recognize you anywhere. Sully said that you were a strapping, tall lad, but I didn't think you'd be this tall. And Janet,my lassie, ah no way could Sully have described how beautiful you are. You reminded him of his beautiful wife, Katie, did he ever tell you that lass?"
Janet blushed, "How kind of you to say Mr. Sullivan and how kind of Sully to say that about me, I know he loved Katie so. He never got over her death, he missed her dearly. I know that they are together again now and as happy as can be."
"That they are and it's Conor, please, and this is my wife, Maggie. We should get your bags out to our auto and drive to Limerick. It is just a mere 7 kilometers from her. Come let's go."
Janet sat at the edge of the back seat leaning between Conor and Maggie Sullivan sitting in the front seat. She was asking all sorts of questions about County Cork and the Cliffs of Mohr where they would spread Sully's ashes. Her eyes were bright and shiny as she took in all the sights. She marveled at everything she saw and said she was in love with Ireland already. Conor and Maggie smiled at her falling in love with her already, too.
Eddie sat back in his seat just glancing occasionally out the window when Janet was pointed out something, mostly his eyes were on her. He grinned lopsidedly at her child like enthusiasm. Eddie thought about how Janet always made him feel special, but he never realized until that moment that she had that effect on everyone. She is one special lady herself, Eddie thought. Eddie looked down to his feet and wished Janet would look at him the way she used to--like he was the most special person in the world. He missed that feeling more than anything.
In no time they arrived at the Sullivan's cottage and it took Janet forever to make her way inside. She was taking all the sights in. The beautiful fields and the gardens, the quaint cottage and out buildings. The Sullivan's lived on the outskirts of Limerick on a quiet lane that seemed out of a travel brochure. "Oh, Eddie have you ever seen such a wonderful place? No wonder Sully loved it so."
Eddie looked at Janet's wide smile and her expressive eyes and agreed, "Yes, beautiful."
"I can't wait to do some more exploring. Come on let's get settled in and take a walk."
She was infectious, what could you do but agree with her, Eddie thought. "That would be great. I could use a walk after being cramped up in a plane for that many hours."
11. Chapter 11
Janet's New Life - Chapter 11
"Everything here is so green, isn't it? Now I know why they called it the Emerald Isle. It's breathtaking." Janet stopped walking and turned to Eddie for his reaction.
"Sully always talked about Ireland, but it doesn't really do it justice until you see it for yourself" Eddie agreed.
Janet and Eddie had been walking down a lane for sometime and had reached the outskirts of Limerick. Janet had spent the time talking about a lot of things but mostly about Thad. She had recalled for Eddie all the things a parent goes through in raising a child. She talked about all the silly things he had done growing up, the sweet things only a child could say and about the times she fretted over the slightest fever or cough. Eddie heard in her voice and saw in her face the joy that she'd found in Thad, her son. And quite possibly his son. Instead of feeling sad that he had missed out in those times, Eddie was finding his heart fill with some of that joy Janet felt.
He couldn't put a finger on it, but somehow Eddie had always felt at times that there was something or someone out there who caused his heart to fill with love and joy. He recalled times when he'd see a boy learning to ride a bike for the first time and feeling a twinge in his heart that he was watching his own son. Could it be that even though consciously he didn't know of his own son's existence that his heart knew and he was experiencing it through someone else's son? It was something Nick had talked about with him. Nick had said even when he was in New York, there would be times when he felt a pull toward Knight's Ridge--like his heart knew about his son, Sam, even though his mind didn't. Eddie had had that same feeling, that there was a bond there with someone unknown to him. He felt that bond explode in him the first time he met Thad at Sully's wake. The bond between a father and a son.
Janet and Eddie explored the city of Limerick for awhile. Janet found little shops where she picked up gifts for Thad and for friends. Eddie also picked up something for Thad. By the time they were going to head back, Janet had them loaded down with so many packages.
"I guess I should have quit buying things sooner," she laughed. "How are we going to get all this stuff back? Good thing you agreed to come along, Eddie."
Her impish smile at him made Eddie laugh along with her. He grabbed up the majority of the bags leaving Janet with a light load. "Come on woman, let's get going before your pack horse's legs give out."
Janet felt like skipping back to the Sullivan's cottage as she walked along side Eddie on the way back. Gone was her nervousness around him. She hadn't felt this happy and carefree in a long time. Being around Eddie did that to her she supposed.
When they reached the cottage, Conor and Maggie were loading up one of their autos with bags. "Ah, there you two are. Maggie and I are off to pick up Sully's elderly aunt Rosheen for the spreading of his ashes in two days time. We'll be back in the morning. Eddie, I'll leave the keys to our other auto on the counter for you. You and Janet should go to the Sullivan family pub in Limerick for a wee bit of dinner and ale, tonight. I wrote down some directions for ye." Conor Sullivan then asked for a moment of Eddie's time and pulled him into the cottage's front room.
"Eddie, a while ago my dear cousin Sean, Sully to you, gave me something that he said he wanted you to have. Don't ask me they specifics of how he planned on getting you to Ireland, certainly not by dying anyway, but he did have some plans that I know he wasn't able to finish before his passing. But my lad, I just know that he wanted you to have this," Conor continued as he handed Eddie a ring. "You see my boy, this ring that has been passed down from generation to generation of Sully's family. And since his boy, Michael, died in that tragic accident, Sully decided the ring should go to you."
Eddie took the ring that Conor handed him fighting back the lump that formed in his throat. "Did Sully ever tell you about him and Katie and what they went through? Conor asked. "Ah, I can see in your eyes that you never heard the story, so I will tell ye."
"Sully loved Katie with all his heart and soul and asked her to marry him before being shipped off to Vietnam in 1973. Of course, she said yes. Well, the letters those two would write each other. Love filled them in the beginning. And then Sully said that because of the senseless death and destruction that he witnessed in country, his letters became fewer and fewer and those that he did write were full of hate and despair. Poor Katie, she was at such a loss. Sully wrote her that she was better off without him-- that he was not the same man that she had married." Conor paused and then continued. "Katie had a friend back in the States that she would pour her heart out to. Well, that man took advantage of that despair and Katie became pregnant with Michael. When Sully was discharged six months later and came back home he was furious. In a fit of rage he called Katie the most awful things. Katie had nothing to do with the other man after that one night, but Sully was so hurt by what she had done. She was so ashamed that she ran out into the street with tears in her eyes and was hit by a car. Sully almost lost his dear Katie and her baby, but there and then he vowed to make things right. Sully loved Katie too much to hurt her anymore and as he often said. "Love wins out over anything, every time." Sully loved Michael as if he was his own and was devastated when he lost the boy in that car accident. He lost his dear Katie, later to breast cancer. Well, enough about that, Eddie. We best be going or Rosheen will wonder what became of us. You and Janet enjoy your evening out and we'll see ye in the morn."
12. Chapter 12
Janet's New Life - Chapter 12
Since there was time before they had to head to the pub for dinner, Janet decided to rest for a while. As she took a nap, Eddie lay in his own bed thinking about what Conor had told him. Sully's and Katie's love had won out over the hurt. Eddie had never met Katie Sullivan or Sully's son, Michael, but he knew from what Sully had said over the years that he loved them both with all his heart. Nick and Hannah had worked things out. Owen and Alison. Eddie had plenty of examples to relate to. Could things work out with him and Janet? Eddie fingered the ring that Conor had given him. It had an intricate filigree with both diamonds and emeralds set between the lacing of gold. It was strong yet delicate Eddie thought.
Janet was excited to go see the pub that had been in Sully's family for years and even more excited that it was named Sully's. When they entered the pub, Janet immediately felt at home. They met more of Sully's relatives. Could Irish families be any larger? Eddie had a hard time keeping their names straight but Janet had a knack for remembering not only their names but how they were related to Sully. After they had eaten Janet, out of habit, got up and cleared their table while Eddie sat and talked to some of the many Sullivan cousins. Before too long, she found herself behind the bar drawing pints of beer and chatting to the customers. She was having a grand time and it made Eddie smile.
Janet had put on an apron and was clearing tables and taking orders. In between she was learning how to do an Irish jig. She was in her element to be sure. Eddie felt the hand of one of the cousins on his shoulder, "Ye are a lucky man, Eddie, my boy," he said, "that Janet of yours is a gem that one!"
Eddie didn't try to or really want to correct the man. He was enjoying watching Janet and couldn't agree more. Any man would be lucky to have someone like Janet. He was for lack of a better word, proud of her. Eddie reached up to the breast pocket of his flannel shirt and felt the ring that he had put there, strong yet delicate. Janet.
Eddie stretched his legs out and rose saying, "I think I'd better get that gem back to Conor and Maggie's before one of you Irishmen steals her away." The cousin slapped him on the back and laughed, "I good thought my man!"
When they got back to the Sullivan's cottage, Janet didn't want to go in right away. The moon was bright, it was a clear night and there were a million stars out. Eddie led Janet to a bench in the garden and sat her down. He held her hand and started to kneel in front of her as she was looking up over his shoulder. "Oh Eddie, quick look, a falling star." Eddie straighten up some placing his hands on his slightly bent knees and looked over his shoulder just in time to catch the falling star. He turned back to Janet and their eyes caught.
Eddie cleared his throat, "Do you know what I wish for Janet?' he said as he began to kneel again and reached for the ring in his pocket. "Don't tell me, Eddie," Janet quipped, "or your wish won't come true!"
Janet then focused on what Eddie was doing and saw him holding the ring out to her. "Janet, I can't think of anything that would make me happier, will you marry me?"
Janet's eyes when from the ring to Eddie and back to the ring that he held out toward her. She thought for a second that she was dreaming. "Yes, Eddie, yes," she said with tears beginning to slide down her cheeks.
Eddie stood up and drew her into his arms in one motion as Janet looked up at his face. Eddie placed one finger under her chin and tipped her head back even more and lowered his lips to hers, "See, I got my wish already." Right before their lips met, Janet said in a soft voice, "And I got my wish, too."
13. Chapter 13
Janet and Eddie's New Life - Chapter 13
Janet was in the Sullivan's kitchen the next morning making coffee while Eddie showered. Janet and Eddie had reluctantly gotten out of bed. Janet thought, "not an easy thing to do." They had gotten little sleep but they both didn't want to take advantage of the Sullivan's hospitality and still be in bed when they returned.
Janet looked out the kitchen window and remembered how urgently her and Eddie had moved from the garden last night to her guest bedroom. Neither one of them could take their clothes off fast enough. It felt like they were starving for each other. The first time they made love it was fast but passionate. The second time they went slower and spent the time rediscovering the feel and taste of each other's bodies.
After that time Eddie needed fuel and drink, he said, so they slipped into the kitchen for a bite and something to quench their thirsts. But their thirst for each other was greater and they made love right there. As she remembered that fact, Janet looked around the kitchen to make sure that they didn't leave any evidence of their love making there.
They had returned to the bedroom after finally getting something to eat and drink and spent hours talking. Janet and Eddie held each other in their arms as they talked. Both of them were afraid to fall asleep, afraid that if they did, it might somehow break the spell. They talked about that even before once again, their mutual caresses aroused them enough to make love for the fourth time.
Coffee, good, hot, black coffee is what she needed this morning, not the tea that the Irish seemed to prefer. Today was going to be a wonderful day and Janet wanted to be wide awake for the first full day of her engagement.
Eddie walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Janet from behind and nuzzled his damp hair against her cheek. "I missed you in the shower." "Eddie that tickles and I missed you too, but what if the Sullivans and Aunt Rosheen arrived when we were in that shower?" As if on cue, the Sullivans pulled up and started unloading their bags and headed up the walk. "See there, we never would have made it out in time." Eddie just chuckled and gave her a peck on her cheek. Since last night, he had been floating on air. He had always heard that expression but he had never felt it until now. Since Janet said "yes" he'd been on cloud nine. He hoped he never come down.
Conor Sullivan greeted them as they came in the door, "Ah, there you two are. I trust you had some fun at the pub last night and slept well." Janet blushed at that, "It was wonderful, wasn't it Eddie?"
"So wonderful in fact that I want you to be the first to know that Janet has agreed to marry me."
"Well, what wonderful news indeed. Maggie, my dear, call Father Donovan and tell him we've adding a wedding to the spreading of the ashes ceremony tomorrow. And I'll take Eddie and Janet into town to take care of the paperwork."
Janet and Eddie looked at Conor as if he had gone crazy. "Tomorrow!" they both exclaimed.
"No time like the present I say and won't Sully be happy that things worked out like this. He'd be glad indeed that such a happy occasion would take place at the same time as his ashes are spread. Ah, so much to do so little time. I best be getting to the details."
Eddie took both of Janet's hands into his and faced her. "If you're game, I'm game. I don't want to spend another moment without you in my life, really in my life, Janet. "
"What the heck, let's go for it. But I need to call Thad and Hannah and-- oh, Eddie, I wish Thad could be here for this."
"Knowing Hannah she'll want to have a big reception for us when we get back. We can always do our vows a second time if you want. I don't mind telling the world more than once that I take you to be my wife."
Janet looked deeply into Eddie's eyes, no one had said anything sweeter to her than those words he had spoken. She couldn't believe how lucky she was that Eddie had truly forgiven her and wanted her to be by his side forever. Emotion overtook her and she threw her arms around Eddie's neck and hugged him as close as she could. "Tomorrow is going to be the happiest day of my life I know, but I can't imagine being more happy than I am now."
Eddie picked her up and twirled her around the kitchen. "We're both twirling now because I couldn't imagine being any happier either. Let's go call back home and break the good news."
Janet was so nervous she couldn't figure how to make an international call so Eddie did the calling. He talked to Nick first and told him their plans. Then Hannah insisted on coming on the phone and wanted to talk to Janet, she was just so happy for the both of them. Then Hannah put Thad on the phone and him and Janet spent a long time talking. Eddie wanted to give her some privacy so he stepped into the other room. After a while Janet came out. "Thad would like to talk to you Eddie."
"What does he want to talk to me about?" Eddie said stunned.
"I don't know, he just insisted." Janet didn't know what her son was thinking, she didn't even know at this moment what she was thinking. This was happening so fast. Thad seemed ok with it, at least he sounded ok. He actually sounded happy about the wedding.
Eddie went into the front room and picked up the phone. Janet afforded him the same privacy by staying in the other room. She couldn't sit still for long and began pacing. What could they be talking about that long?
Eddie came out finally and Janet could see that he had tears in his eyes. "Don't look so worried Janet, it's all good. It's better than good." Eddie pulled Janet into his arms. "Thad told me to tell you not to worry that he wouldn't be able to be here for our wedding, because he said that he knows he's always here"--Eddie placed his hand on Janet's heart . "And he told me"--Eddie's voice broke at that moment--"that he's always been here,too"--Eddie removed his hand from Janet's heart and placed it on his own. "God Janet, you don't know what that did to me when he said that--I always felt someone there--Thad told me that was because it was him. Sully--he told Thad all about me and to hold me in his heart always--that things would work out. Sully told him that love, true love, always wins out over anything. What a wonderful son he is." Tears ran down Janet's face, tears of joy.
"Maybe Thad isn't my biological son--it doesn't matter to me, not anymore, I couldn't think of him more as a son than I do right now. And when we get back home, I'd like to give him my last name, Janet. Would that be ok with you?"
"More than ok, Eddie." Janet pulled him against her and they stayed that way for a long time.
14. Chapter 14
Janet and Eddie's New Life - Chapter 14
Janet and Eddie's moment of quiet was shattered when four cars with about twenty Sullivan cousins came pulling up. They were followed by three trucks loaded with tables and chairs, a bridal arch and an altar. All compliments of Sully's previous planning according to Conor. There was no detail left to chance. Tents in case of rain right down to the dress the bride would wear and the groom's outfit. Sully had provided a wedding band to go with the brides heirloom ring and a plain band for Eddie. The only thing he left up to Janet and Eddie was to have them inscribed as they chose after returning to Knight's Ridge.
While Janet when out to check on the flurry of activity in the garden, Eddie headed for the kitchen to check out the food that was being prepared for tomorrow's dinner. Eddie could hear Janet's laughter through the open kitchen window. He'll make sure he gets to hear her wonderful laugh everyday, Eddie thought.
Later on after a late dinner with the Sullivan's and Aunt Rosheen, Eddie and Janet kissed in the hallway and went to their separate rooms to sleep. Eddie whispered sweet, sensual details of what he planned for their wedding night and Janet giggled. "I'm going to hold you to that!" she promised. As she slipped into her room Eddie slapped her on the bottom. "And that is only going to be the beginning!" Eddie replied.
--
Janet was so nervous the next day she couldn't even eat breakfast. That and the fact that Eddie kept making "googlely eyes" at her. She swatted at him when he made her choke on her orange juice beause he made her laugh. "Is this the kind of influence you're going to be for our son?" She tried to sounded scolding but couldn't pull if off. "Our son" how wonderful that sounded to both Janet and Eddie.
Janet went into her room and began to get ready for her wedding. She placed the garment bag on the bed and opened it. Sully had picked out the most beautiful dress Janet had ever seen. It was made with an overlay of Irish lace with a silky white sheath underneath. It had a scooped neckline with a lace collar and tiered lace three quarter sleeves. The empire waist had a lace fringe and it had a train of lace. Janet sat on the bed gently touching and admiring the workmanship when there was a soft knock on her door. She was getting up to make sure it wasn't Eddie when the door opened slightly and in walked Hannah and Thad.
Janet jumped up and rushed to their arms. "How did you get here? I can't believe you're here? "
"Surprise" Hannah and Thad announced together. Hannah said that after they had spoken the other day, Conor Sullivan gave her a call and filled her in on the rest of Sully's grand plan. "We had tickets and a passport for Thad and everything waiting for us at the airport. Sully must have known that Nick and I wouldn't have missed this for the world. Nick is talking with Conor now and then he'll help Eddie get ready. "
"This is great, huh, mom?" "I can't think of a better wedding present, Thad. I'm so glad you're here. And Hannah I'm so glad that now you can be my maid of honor and Nick can be Eddie's best man. Oh, God, I think I'm going to start crying."
"Don't do that Janet or I might cry with you. But we need to get going, we have a wedding to get to. Thad you go get ready, while I help your mom ok."
"Wait, Thad, I want to ask you something," Janet said. "Sure, mom." "Thad, would you walk me down the aisle and give me away?" "You got it, mom." Thad added, "As long as it's Eddie Latteka you're marrying, sure I'll give you away." Janet tousled her son's hair. He sure was something, she smiled.
Nick knocked and then entered Eddie's room without hesitating. When he got a look at Eddie standing in his wedding outfit in front of a full length mirror, he stopped dead in his tracks and let out a howl.
Eddie saw Nick in the reflection of the mirror and growled back at him without turning around. "Nicky if you so much as say one word, I'll throw you through another window and it won't be an accident this time!"
Nick tried to control the humor in his voice, "I guess Sully thought that if you were going to marry Janet, he wanted to make sure you were serious about it."
"I want to marry Janet so bad that I'd probably stand buck naked up there for all to see if that's what it would take, but this!! This I don't know about!!"
--
As a mandolin and a pennywhistle played the "Shepherd's Serenade", Thad proudly walked his mother down the garden path. Janet carried a porcelain horseshoe that was incorporated with her bouquet of flowers from Maggie's garden and had a flowered wreath for a head piece. Also, per an old Irish tradition she carried the "magic hanky". All of Sully's family and friends from Ireland stood by their chairs and watched as Janet slowly walked toward the altar. She didn't get a good look at Eddie until she was close to the front and he stepped out to meet her. She took a good look at him from head to toe and back again. She gave Eddie one of her thousand watt smiles. "Sully you devil" she mouthed. Janet saw Eddie in his Irish waist coat with a tartan kilt, complete with a sporrans and pipe brogue shoes. The outfit was completed with a white shirt, black bow tie and knee socks.
Eddie had forgotten all about what he was wearing when he saw how beautiful Janet looked. Nick coughed to cover his amusement however. Hannah just smiled at the happy couple. Eddie did think that it was kind of funny and couldn't resist the urge of hamming it up for everyone's sake by playing the Irish gentleman. Eddie put his left arm behind his back and his right arm across his waist and bowed to Janet before offering her his arm.
Father Donovan started the ceremony with a traditional Irish poem and then turned to Eddie for the vows. "I, state your full name, do take thee Janet." "I, Edward Thaddeus Latteka, take thee Janet."
Janet was stunned. Thaddeus? That Sully sure was a sneaky one.
--
After the ceremony was over, Janet and Eddie drank from the special goblets the traditional "honey mead" . Conor Sullivan told them that tradition says that the couple were to drink from the goblets for one month or the cycle of one moon. Thus the term, honeymoon. Janet loved all the Irish traditions, she couldn't have planned a more special wedding if she had done it herself. She wished that she could have thanked Sully for everything that he had done for her and for Eddie.
After much eating and dancing and laughter, the wedding party and guests along with Father Donovan piled into their vehicles to go to the Cliffs of Mohr to spread Sully's ashes. The sun was beginning to set and the winds had died down somewhat as Eddie and Janet said goodbye to the man who had brought them together again.
As a bagpipe was playing a lovely Irish tune in the background, Father Donovan recited the poem: I'm not **gone**, just in a different place I **am** always around you surrounding with grace **...** Please **don't cry for me**, as I **am** alive in your heart always.
As everyone else headed back to their autos, Janet and Eddie stood side by side looking out over the cliffs. "I'll always miss Sully", Janet said. "And I'll always be grateful for what he's done for us." "For us," Eddie added "and for Thad." "Speaking of Thad how come you always lead me to believe that the "T" stood for Thomas?" "A guy has to have some secrets, Edith." Eddie laughed. "Oh, is that right Mr. Latteka? And are you going to let me find out what an Irishman wears under his kilt?" Eddie turned Janet toward their waiting car and put one arm around her back and his other arm across her front and locked his hands on her shoulder. "I'll do better than just tell you Mrs. Latteka. I plan on showing you!!" Janet wrapped her arms around his waist as they walked off and laughed. "Well, let's get to it then!!"
15. Chapter 15
_Epilogue: Two Years Later_
Eddie sat propped up against a pillow next to Janet as she slept. The sun was streaming in their bedroom window as the breeze gently fluttered the sheer curtains. Eddie could hear Thad in the backyard playing with his new puppy. Thad Latteka, his son in blood and in name.
Eddie knew he should wake Janet up so she could get down to Sully's to meet with Karen about doing the schedule with her for next week, but she also needed her rest. Janet always insisted on handling the business at the bar that Sully had left them in his will. But a woman who's eight months pregnant needs lots of rest Eddie decided. And besides she looked like an angel lying there next to him.
Janet slowly woke up and stretched her arms until they laid around Eddie and looked up at him. "Shouldn't you get down to Best Friend Windows and help Nick since you're so busy? And I need to get down to Sully's."
"Not until I say good morning to my beautiful wife." Eddie leaned over and spoke to her. "Good morning Mrs. Latteka and good morning Sean." Eddie leaned further toward her belly.
Janet laughed. Eddie had decided that their child, boy or girl was going to be named Sean after Sully. He told her it was perfect name. They'd spell it SEAN if it was a boy or SHAWN if it was a girl. Perfect, he said. Janet had to agree. Her life was perfect.
_Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed my story. I had a lot of fun with it and hope that you did too. I'll miss the Ridge and the people but I will always hold this special couple in my heart. Long live October Road. --Janey (Note: The "magic hanky" is to insure virility. It is made so one snip and it can be turned into a baby bonnet.) _
End file.
| fanfiction |
this research is supported by the interuniversity attraction poles programme - belgium science policy - under grant v-18 .
we are also grateful to fonds defay for financial support .
spectra of the fast ( black curve ) and slow ( gray curve ) polarization components of the light emerging from the fiber .
the light is injected with a polarization angle @xmath25 relative to the principal axes of the fiber .
the mean power is approximatively 1 mw .
the resolution bandwidth is 1 nm .
spectrum of the output field for increasing pump mean power , respectively @xmath26 mw , @xmath27 mw , @xmath28 mw , @xmath29 mw , and @xmath30 mw . the light is injected with a polarization angle @xmath25 relative to the principal axes of the fiber . the resolution bandwidth is 0.1 nm .
4 . comparison between experimental spectra ( black curves ) and numerical integration of the snlse ( grey curves ) .
the numerical results are noisy because only one realization of the stochastic method has been computed for each curve .
the flat parts on the experimental spectra correspond to the sensibility limit of the osa . in the simulations
the pump pulse is assumed to be fourier transform limited .
the simulation parameters are @xmath31 nm , @xmath32 ns , @xmath7 m , @xmath33 w@xmath10km@xmath10 , @xmath34 ps@xmath9km@xmath10 and @xmath11 fs m@xmath10 .
the peak powers @xmath4 corresponding to simulations ( experiments ) are ( a ) 132.5 w ( 125.6 w ) , ( b ) 127.2 w ( 121.4 w ) , and ( c ) 116.6 w ( 112.9 w ) .
the numerical results have been convolved with a response function to take into account the resolution of the osa .
mw , @xmath27 mw , @xmath28 mw , @xmath29 mw , and @xmath30 mw . the light is injected with a polarization angle @xmath25 relative to the principal axes of the fiber . the resolution bandwidth is 0.1 nm .
amans57847f3.eps,width=317 ] nm , @xmath32 ns , @xmath7 m , @xmath33 w@xmath10km@xmath10 , @xmath34 ps@xmath9km@xmath10 and @xmath11 fs m@xmath10 .
the peak powers @xmath4 corresponding to simulations ( experiments ) are ( a ) 132.5 w ( 125.6 w ) , ( b ) 127.2 w ( 121.4 w ) , and ( c ) 116.6 w ( 112.9 w ) .
the numerical results have been convolved with a response function to take into account the resolution of the osa . | arxiv |
Q: Why can't svg scale to fit child elements? I would an svg element which could scale to fit its children elements. Say you have:
<svg>
<rect width=10 height=1000/>
<svg>
It seems like there would be a way to get the svg to scale to fit the rectangle inside of it.
Unfortunately, it appears such a thing is impossible, at least according to this:
SVG Fill Width to Child Elements
Can anyone give me an explanation as to why this cannot be acheived? It seems like this would be a highly requested feature... or maybe I'm just not getting something.
Thanks!
A: A special viewBox value of "auto" has been discussed for inclusion in the specification for SVG 2, which is still under development.
If it makes the final specification, this would do what you are suggesting.
| slim_pajama |
Naruto Con las Ganas II
Parte **DOS ** de mi Fic **Con las Ganas.** Espero les gusté y bueno, los que leyeron la primera parte ya saben que es un SasuSaku, para los que no, los invito a leerlo, para que entiendan mejor la historia ;) Por cierto... ¿es muy pronto para subir esta parte? Nah, que más da xD
**ADVERTENCIA: **¿Lemon o Lime? Sinceramente no sabría cómo definir lo... digamos que se narra algunas partes de eso, pero con palabras no tan "eróticas". Soy novata en el Lemon xD No tenía pensado hacer el primero con esta pareja, pero bueno, las circunstancias así lo dictaron.
* * *
><p>Camino hasta aquel edificio con el logo de la empresa, en parte emocionada y en parte nerviosa. Agarre con más fuerza mi maletín y mi bolso, nerviosa por lo que pasaría.<p>
Soy Sakura Haruno, una gran fotógrafa que apenas ha comenzado con su carrera. Me han contratado para ser la que tome las fotos a un modelo que será la cara de la revista más famosa de la ciudad. Este ya sería el noveno trabajo que hago, y el más grande.
Entro al edificio y pregunto por la señorita Ino Yamanaka, ella es la mujer que me contrató para este trabajo. Me piden la identificación y luego me dejan pasar, así que me dirijo al ascensor. Una vez dentro, observo las paredes grises, sin ningún punto definitivo, simplemente observando el gris profundo de sus paredes. Llegó a mi destino y espero hasta que las puertas se abran, para después salir y encontrarme en un gran pasillo.
Miro a mi derecha y luego a mi izquierda. No sé por dónde ir, así que me lanzo a la derecha a la suerte. Por suerte si era por el lado derecho. Llegué a una habitación abierta donde podía observar a gente trabajando y demás, mientras que una mujer rubia y delgada comandaba todo; reconocí como la mujer que me contrató, Ino Yamanaka.
—¡Oh, Sakura!
Yamanaka vino hacia mí apurada, con una sonrisa amable adornándole el bello rostro del que es poseedora. Me tiende la mano y yo se la acepto con la misma sonrisa que me está dando ella.
—Mucho gusto. —le digo.
—No, el gusto es mío. —me dice.
—Bueno… ¿cuándo comenzamos? —le pregunto tímidamente.
—En un momento, lo que pasa es que el modelo aún no lle… —no termino su frase y miró atrás mío— ¡Oh, espera! Ya llegó. —termina con una sonrisa.
Volteo hacia atrás, encontrándome con lo último que imaginé en la vida: Sasuke Uchiha…
.
.
Recuerdo que cuando entró a la sala ni siquiera dirigió su mirada hacia mí, me volví una más de los cientos, sin embargo sigue siendo el dueño de mis primeros revoloteos.
Puede fijarme en cómo se acerca hacia nosotras mientras una media sonrisa arrogante iba apareciendo en su rostro. Recuerdo que cuando se acercó, le estrecho una mano a Ino y luego estrecho la mía. Tampoco me miró, se dedicó a observar nuestras manos unidas como si fueran lo más raro del mundo. Las separamos.
La sesión de fotos comenzó y yo simplemente me centré en sacarle las fotos, mientras mi mente iba a los recuerdos de hace algunos años…
¡No!
La sesión termino. Ino Yamanaka me pidió de favor alguna cosa que no recuerdo bien, pero que tuve que ir al primer piso para eso. Desgraciadamente, Uchiha puso alguna excusa que no recuerdo con claridad, así que ambos fuimos juntos.
Estábamos en el ascensor, eso lo recuerdo bien. Ambos entre las paredes grises mientras esperábamos. De repente, entre todo el silencio tenso, el me miró. Para luego agarrarme de las muñecas y ponerlas detrás de mi espalda y acorralarme entre su cuerpo y la pared.
—¿Qué haces aquí?
Su voz profunda y ronca sale como un murmullo que llena toda la habitación. Un murmullo que, inevitablemente, me intimidó; además de envolverme en ese tono que no escuchaba desde la secundaria.
—Soy fotógrafa, solo eso. Vine a hacer mi trabajo.
Una sonrisa burlona y arrogante aparece en su rostro ante mi respuesta, para luego volverle serio de repente. No me soltó, en vez de eso, sentí algo frío, mas al mismo tiempo cálido, contra mis labios.
Me besó repentinamente. Y aún me tiembla el recuerdo de su profundo beso.
Todo empezó ahí.
.
.
_**¿Cómo no pude darme cuenta que hay ascensores prohibidos? **_
_**Que hay pecados compartidos y que tú estabas tan cerca.**_
_._
_._
Sus manos dejaron mis muñecas para bajar hasta mi cintura, colándose entre mi blusa y acariciando mi piel, nada suavemente. No rompió el beso hasta que levantó mi blusa y la paso por encima de mi cabeza, mas al instante volvió a besarme, aplastándome entre su cuerpo cálido y la fría pared gris.
Yo no hice nada a pesar de que podía escapar teniendo mis muñecas sueltas.
Lleve mis brazos hasta su cuello, envolviéndolo y perdiendo mis dedos entre su cabello sedoso, abrazándome a él, intentando profundizar el beso, intentando estar más cerca…
¿Cómo no pude darme cuenta, en ese momento, que existen los ascensores prohibidos? Al igual que los pecados compartidos…
Además de que él estaba demasiado cerca en ese momento.
.
.
_**Me disfrazo de ti,**_
_**Te disfrazas de mí**_
_**Y jugamos a ser humanos en esta habitación gris.**_
.
.
Ambos nos disfrazamos del otro. Envolviéndonos en nuestros brazos y calor.
Recuerdo que aún quedaba un poco de cordura en mi cabeza, pero el deseo y la pasión eran más grandes y le gano a la cordura, haciendo que yo acercase mis manos a su camisa, desbrochando los botones con impaciencia. Él, al ver mis intenciones, me ayudó rápidamente, dejando el beso aún lado por solo unos segundos, para luego volver a atacar mis labios con rudeza.
Luego fui por su pantalón, al igual que él por mis shorts. Desabroché el cinturón y desabotoné los botones, bajé el cierre para luego hacerlo con el pantalón, dejándolo en bóxers. Me obligó a rodearle la cintura con las piernas cuando me alzo.
Y fue que jugamos a ser humanos en aquella habitación gris.
.
.
_**Muerdo el agua por ti.**_
_**Te deslizas por mí.**_
_**Y jugamos a ser dos gatos que no se quieren dormir.**_
.
.
Acaricié sus músculos, aún recuerdo que se sintió placentero hacerlo. No perdí parte que acariciar hasta donde mi posición me lo permitía. Él tampoco se quedó atrás.
Y el momento llegó.
Él se deslizó por mí.
Y jugamos a ser dos gatos que no se quieren dormir.
.
.
_**Mis anclajes no pararon tus instintos,**_
_**Ni los tuyos, mis quejidos.**_
_**Y dejo correr mis tuercas, y que hormigas me retuerzan.**_
.
.
Mis anclajes no pararon tus instintos antes de que pase, ni los de él mis quejidos. Al final opté por rendirme a pesar de la molesta vocecilla que me decía que no debía.
Me retorcí y un hormigueo sacudió mi cuerpo.
.
.
_**Quiero que no dejes de estrujarme, sin que yo te diga nada.**_
_**Y que tus yemas sean legañas enganchadas a mis vértices.**_
.
.
Me abrazas fuertemente. Sin saberlo, desee que no dejara de estrujarme, ambos en silencio con tan solo nuestras aceleradas respiraciones escuchándose. Desee que las yemas de sus dedos se quedaran para siempre pegadas a mi cuerpo. Que nunca me dejaran.
.
.
_**No sé que acabo sucediendo,**_
_**Solo sentí dentro dardos**_
_**Nuestra incómoda postura, se dilato en el espacio.**_
.
.
Y no recuerdo que acabo sucediendo, sólo que sentí dentro dardos, agujas, espadas… cosas puntiagudas dentro de mí. Cosas que me causaban mucho dolor, parecido al de la primera vez, aunque menos intenso, pero doloroso.
La incómoda postura que compartíamos, se dilato en el espacio.
.
.
_**Se me hunde el dolor en el costado**_
_**Y se me nublan los recodos.**_
_**Tengo sed y estoy tragando, no quiero no estar a tu lado.**_
.
.
.
_**Me disfrazo de ti, te disfrazas de mí.**_
_**Y jugamos a ser humanos en esta habitación gris…**_
.
.
.
_**Y tus palabras se me apartan, **_
_**Me vacían las entrañas.**_
.
.
Terminó.
Recostó su cabeza en mi hombro, ambos respirábamos agitados, recuperando la conciencia poco a poco. Ambos en silencio, hasta que sus duras palabras hicieron eco en mis oídos.
_Esto nunca pasó"._
Sus palabras vaciaron mis entrañas.
.
.
_**Finjo que no sé qué no has sabido,**_
_**Fijo que no me gusta estar contigo.**_
.
.
—Fuera. Vete. Aléjate de mí—le comienzo a decir, aguantando las malditas lágrimas que amenazan con salir—. Odio estar contigo, no quiero. —termino de decir, intentando apartarlo. Espero que mi actuación haya sido convencible.
Y como lo mandé, se fue.
.
.
_**Y al perderme entre mis dedos,**_
_**Te recuerdo sin esfuerzo.**_
.
.
Las lágrimas caen, deslizándose por mis mejillas y muriéndose al caer al piso. Un sollozo se me escapa sin poder evitarlo y rompo en llanto, sollozando, emitiendo gemidos de dolor y gritando.
Estoy en el ascensor, la habitación gris, aquella en la que horas atrás me limitaba a observar el profundo gris que la adornada. Estoy recostada en una de sus paredes y sentada en el frío y duro suelo, opacando la calidez que antes sentía. Lloro sin poder contenerme más. Odio esto, odio mi asquerosa existencia. ¿Por qué me tuvo que pasar?
Caí ante él nuevamente.
Incluso quiero que esté a mi lado…
_**Me moriré de ganas de decirle que lo voy a echar de menos.**_
* * *
><p>¡Hola! ¿Les ha gustado esta segunda parte? ¿Los ha sorprendido? Apuesto a que los ha confundido xD<p>
Les explico:
La primera parte fue como la vez que se conocieron nuestros protagonistas en la secundaria, ambos se enamoraron y bla, bla, bla, hasta que hicieron el amor. Luego de eso, ambos se separaron, por razones desconocidas pero dolorosas. En esta segunda parte narra su reencuentro, ya ambos profesionales, ella como fotógrafa y él como modelo. A causa de sus profesiones, ambos se encuentran nuevamente por casualidad. No se puede evitar que la herida de ambos se abra un poco, claro, haciendo que se dejen llevar por el deseo en medio viaje en ascensor. Final triste, sí, un poco, pero tenía que hacerlo. La canción no quedaba teniendo un final feliz.
Como algunos verán, en esta parte, se podría considerar como un Song-fic, pero no estoy segura. La primera y última parte están narradas en presente, las del medio en pasado. Lo vi necesario, perdón si los confundió.
Además, esta parte sigue más la canción, se deja llevar más por ella. La otra dejaba como un final abierto, esta no. Simplemente ambos quedan separados. La cruel realidad en esta historia.
Agradezco el comentario de la primera parte y me tomaré el tiempo de responderlos:
**yourdeathangel91****: **Hola linda ;) me alegra que me hayas dicho lo que imaginaste, pero como veras al final, no fue eso. Al menos trataste de adivinar :) Algo inesperado lo que le dijo pero bueno, así soy yo xD Me halaga que hayas pensado que estuvo precioso. Pero sí, sí se me borró, lo sé porque cuando fui a revisarlo, ya no me aparecía en mi lista de historias, todo fue porque mi prima, de siete años, agarro mi laptop y borro justamente esta historia. La quise matar xD Por eso lo volví a subir. Espero esta parte no te haya decepcionado y que también te haya gustado, me esforcé :)
¡Nos leemos!
***´¨)****
><strong>**¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)****
><strong>**(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤**** Nagisa Del Mar**
End file.
| fanfiction |
ngc 5253 , a metal - poor blue compact dwarf galaxy in the centaurus a group ( karachentsev et al .
2007 ) , hosts an extremely young starburst . at the fortuitously close distance of 3.13 mpc ( davidge 2007 ; 1 arcsec corresponds to 16 pc ) , the galaxy has been the target of a large number of observational programmes spanning a range of wavelengths , from x - rays to the radio domain ( e.g. , rieke , lebofsky & walker 1988 ; caldwell & phillips 1989 ; martin & kennicutt 1995 ; freedman et al . 2001 ; cresci , vanzi & sauvage 2005 ; martn - hernndez , schaerer & sauvage 2005 ; lpez - snchez et al .
2007 , 2011 ) . the metallicity of ngc 5253 , approximately 0.20.4 z@xmath2 ( kobulnicky & skillman 1995 ; kobulnicky et al . 1999 ; lpez - snchez et al .
2011 ) , is relatively constant across the galaxy , except for a few areas exhibiting higher - than - average nitrogen abundances ( walsh & roy 1989 ; kobulnicky et al . 1997 ; lpez - snchez et al .
2007 ; lpez - snchez & esteban 2010a , b ; monreal - ibero et al .
2010 ) and a possible slight helium enrichment ( campbell , terlevich & melnick 1986 ; lpez - snchez et al .
this low metallicity , combined with the galaxy s relatively small dimensions ( @xmath9 arcmin@xmath10 kpc@xmath11 major / minor axis extents ) and low mass ( @xmath12@xmath13 m@xmath2 ; bottinelli et al . 1972 ; turner , beck & hurt 1997 ) , render its starburst component an excellent analogue to galaxies in their early formation phases , while its proximity makes it ideal for studies of the many bright , young stellar clusters ( yscs ; e.g. , gonzalez - riestra , rego & zamorano 1987 ; caldwell & phillips 1989 ; calzetti et al .
1997 ; harris et al . 2004 ; vanzi & sauvage 2004 ; cresci et al .
2005 ; martn - hernndez et al . 2005 ; harbeck , gallagher & crnojevi 2012 ) . in fact , based on ultraviolet ( uv )
_ hubble space telescope ( hst)_/space telescope imaging spectrometer ( stis ) spectroscopy of the yscs and diffuse background light in the main body of the galaxy , tremonti et al .
( 2001 ) suggested that star clusters may have been forming continuously , and subsequently dissolve on @xmath14 1020 myr timescales ( based on arguments related to tidal effects worked out in detail in kim , morris & lee 1999 ; a process since coined cluster ` infant mortality ' ) , thus dispersing their stars into the field star population .
the galaxy s h@xmath0 morphology ( martin 1998 ; calzetti et al . 2004 ; meurer et al .
2006 ) shows that the inner core is currently undergoing intense star formation and is , in fact , one of the youngest starbursts known ( van den bergh 1980 ; moorwood & glass 1982 ; rieke et al .
1988 ; caldwell & phillips 1989 ; calzetti et al . 1997 ; mcquinn et al .
2010a , b ) .
the active starburst is confined to the inner 60 pc ( calzetti et al .
1997 , 1999 ; tremonti et al .
2001 ) ; age estimates for the starburst duration in this region are @xmath15 yr , and more likely a few @xmath3 yr , assuming a burst - like formation history for the diffuse stellar population in the disc ( walsh & roy 1989 ; rieke et al .
1988 ; tremonti et al .
these estimates are based on weak [ fe ii ] emission , strong br@xmath16 emission , a lack of significant ( non - thermal ) synchrotron emission from supernova remnants ( beck et al .
1996 ) , the presence of wolf rayet stars ( campbell et al . 1986
; kobulnicky et al .
1997 ; schaerer et al .
1997 ; lpez - snchez et al . 2007 ; lpez - snchez & esteban 2010a , b ; monreal - ibero et al .
2010 ) and weak @xmath17 m emission , implying only a small contribution of giants and supergiants , which thus provides a rough upper age limit . in two very detailed studies of the galaxy s central starburst region , calzetti et al .
( 1997 , 1999 ) showed that the uv emission is dominated by a 34 myr old , relatively small star cluster , ngc 5253 - 4 ( meurer et al .
on the other hand , a dust - enshrouded ( @xmath1835 mag ) very young central cluster ( 22.7 myr old ) , ngc 5253 - 5 , is responsible for most of the nuclear region s ionization ( tremonti et al .
2001 ; cresci et al .
2005 ) . at radio wavelengths , turner et al .
( 1998 , 2000 ) derive ionization potentials driven by large numbers ( 2001000 ) of o - type stars , which they interpret to imply that very large clusters are the preferred mode of star formation in the central regions of the galaxy .
it is thus clear that the galaxy s star and star cluster formation history is highly complex .
despite the plethora of existing , detailed studies , many of the salient details of the galaxy s evolution remain open - ended .
this realization is perhaps mostly driven by the object s proximity , which allows us to probe the star - forming environment in significantly greater detail than in more distant starbursts . on the other hand ,
ngc 5253 s proximity also offers us the key advantage of it having been observed repeatedly across the full observable wavelength range .
nevertheless , where the stellar component has been subject to detailed scrutiny , most studies have either focussed on careful , mostly spectroscopic studies of a few objects at a time , or systematic exploration of the galaxy s full extent but based on relatively simple approaches .
this is particularly so for its star cluster population .
previous statistical studies have relied on straightforward application of simple stellar population ( ssp ) analysis based on optical broad - band data ( e.g. , harris et al . 2004 ; cresci et al .
2005 ; harbeck et al .
however , in recent years , theory and computational approaches have made significant advances . in this paper , we go significantly beyond previous studies of the ngc 5253 star cluster population in a number of complementary ways .
first , although we still use primarily ( medium- and ) broad - band imaging observations , we base our results on the highest - achievable spatial resolution from the near - uv ( nuv ) to the near - infrared ( nir ) regimes . the gain in resolution compared to previous studies is of order a factor of two in both spatial dimensions , while our accessible wavelength range transcends previous studies by incorporation of the crucial nuv and nir passbands ( which will allow us to at least partially break the age
metallicity and age extinction degeneracies ) .
where relevant , we also refer to h@xmath0 emission - line results to further reduce the uncertainties .
second , we focus specifically on one aspect of extragalactic star cluster populations where we take full advantage of the observational gains , i.e. , the importance and origin of a red or ir excess in the spectral - energy distributions ( seds ) of a relatively low - mass cluster population such as that in ngc 5253 . to address this aspect
, we do not need to have access to a statistically complete sample of star clusters down to the lowest detection limits enabled by the observations worst signal - to - noise ratio ( s / n ) .
this paper is organized as follows . in section [ observations.sec ]
we discuss the observational data which form the basis of our analysis , as well as our data reduction approach .
the analysis methods adopted are outlined in section [ analysis.sec ] , while we discuss the robustness of the results and perform a comparison in section [ robust.sec ] .
we offer a preliminary discussion of the effects of stochasticity in the stellar mass function separately , in section [ stoch.sec ] , and provide an overview of the physical state of the ngc 5253 cluster population in section [ overall.sec ] .
finally , we summarize and conclude the paper in section [ summary.sec ] . this is the first article in a series of three . in paper ii
( p. anders et al .
, in prep . )
, we will present a detailed theoretical investigation of the effects of stochastic sampling on cluster age and mass determinations based on adopting fully sampled stellar mass functions using our own ssp models and analysis approach ( cf .
section [ analysis.sec ] ) . in paper iii
( r. de grijs et al . , in prep . )
, we will apply these insights to the data set analysed here , to explore in detail to which extent our results are affected by biases owing to stochastic sampling of the clusters mass functions .
the present paper is meant to establish the baseline for this body of work .
we mined the _ hst _
data archive for available medium-/broad - band and h@xmath0 observations of ngc 5253 obtained with its main optical and nir cameras , i.e. , the advanced camera for surveys ( acs ) , the wide - field and planetary camera-2 ( wfpc2 ) and the near - infrared camera and multi - object spectrometer ( nicmos ) .
since we had selected our target galaxy based on the availability of a large number of high - resolution _ hst _ data sets spanning the longest possible wavelength range , we could make a careful selection of the best possible data sets to reach our science goals .
table [ data.tab ] includes details of the final set of observations used , which were selected to achieve the best possible combination of spatial resolution ( aimed at reducing contamination by neighbouring sources ) , s / n ( for which we initially used exposure time as a proxy ) and extensive , continuous wavelength coverage . [ cols="^,^,^,<,>,>,<,^ " , ] despite these differences for a small number of clusters , the main features in the overall age and mass distributions ( bottom row ) are fairly well reproduced by both independent approaches . assuming a simple underlying skewed gaussian distribution , the peak in the age distribution resulting from our analysed analysis ( including all objects ) occurs at @xmath19 , with @xmath20 . for comparison ,
the yggdrasil - based analysis returned @xmath21 , with @xmath22 . for the mass distributions ,
we find @xmath23 versus 3.37 , and @xmath24 versus 0.77 , respectively .
this excellent correspondence is much better than the feature - reproduction robustness reported in de grijs et al .
( 2005 ) , where we quoted reproducibilities of @xmath25 and @xmath26 .
if we compare the age and mass determinations for the individual clusters , a similar result emerges .
the mean differences between the yggdrasil - based analysis and the analysed results is @xmath27 and @xmath28 , respectively , with spreads ( gaussian @xmath29 s ) of 0.900 and 0.517 dex , respectively .
so far , we have focussed on the power of ( medium- and ) broad - band sed analysis based on extensive wavelength coverage .
this is the type of observational data one might expect to obtain most easily for any extragalactic star cluster system , and hence exploration of the limitations of such a data set is relevant . for our analysis of the specific star cluster sample of ngc 5253
, we also obtained narrow - band f658n observations from the _ hst _ data archive , covering the h@xmath0 emission line .
calzetti et al .
( 1997 ) already extensively explored the galaxy s morphology and dust properties based on these observations , so that we will not repeat that analysis here . ] for most of the ngc 5253 clusters , numerous authors , including calzetti et al .
( 1997 ) and cresci et al .
( 2005 ) , provide support for the young ages resulting from their fits by referring to the h@xmath0 fluxes found associated with these objects .
fluxes have also been found useful for analyses of numerous other ysc systems ( for recent references , see e.g. , chandar et al .
2011 ; whitmore et al .
2011 ; fouesneau et al . 2012 ; and references therein ) , although the present analysis represents the first full integration of h@xmath0 photometry in a simultaneous multi - passband ( @xmath30 filters ) approach . in this section ,
we add the f658n / h@xmath0 photometry to our seds for confirmation and reanalysis of the properties of the ngc 5253 clusters using the yggdrasil models .
we obtained two sets of f658n photometry for our star cluster sample .
first , we adopted the same apertures as for the nearest continuum filter , f550 m .
however , h@xmath0 emission may be more extended than that of the associated continuum sources . as such
, we determined the gaussian @xmath31 s on the f658n image itself and used these size estimates to determine a second set of f658n magnitudes ( using the source , inner and outer sky radii expressed in units of @xmath31 as defined in section [ photom.sec ] ) .
a comparison of gaussian sizes ( not shown ) indicates that the h@xmath0 emission coincident with our sample clusters exhibits a much broader range than the associated continuum emission in the f550 m filter .
[ halpha.fig]a shows the resulting f658n photometry as a function of aperture size used .
although a reasonable one - to - one correlation between the f658n magnitudes resulting from using aperture sizes based on the f550 m and f658n @xmath31 s is apparent , there is a clear offset to brighter magnitudes if the f658n - based size criterion is used , particularly for objects returned as younger than 10 myr , based on the yggdrasil - based broad - band analysis ( indicated in red ) .
this underscores the need to account for differences in source sizes as a function of passband .
panel ( b ) shows the distribution of our sample clusters in the f550 m versus f658n magnitude plane ( the latter includes both continuum and line flux , if present ) .
again , the red data points are the objects younger than 10 myr and the dotted line is the locus of equality , corrected for the difference in filter transmission windows .
this panel shows that all sources that are more than twice their photometric @xmath32 uncertainties from the dotted line are young ( @xmath33 myr ) .
note that we used the same apertures here for both axes , so that we can properly compare the presence of any h@xmath0 excess .
figs [ halpha.fig]c and d compare the masses and ages , respectively , obtained using the photometry based on the differently sized apertures shown in panel ( a ) .
we have left out the error bars for presentational clarity ( see , e.g. , fig . [ fig3.fig ] for guidance ) .
these panels show that the impact of the different aperture sizes is very small , even at ages where significant h@xmath0 emission may be expected . in fig .
[ halpha2.fig ] ( top row ) we compare the ages , masses and extinction values based on using our ( medium- and ) broad - band photometry only ( ` bb ' ) , and that based on also including the f658n data .
the bottom row shows the equivalent histograms of these parameters .
the dotted histograms are the distributions based on the ( medium- and ) broad - band data only ; the solid histograms are based on additional inclusion of the f658n fluxes .
the differences , in any of the panels , are very small and statistically negligible .
this is exemplified by a quantitative comparison of the histograms characteristics .
the peak and gaussian width of the age distribution resulting from our analysis including the f658n photometry are @xmath34 and @xmath22 dex , respectively , compared with 7.10 and 0.94 dex for the analysis based on the ( medium- and ) broad - band images only .
similarly , the mean and gaussian width of the equivalent mass distributions are @xmath35 and @xmath36 dex , respectively , versus 3.37 and 0.76 dex .
we thus conclude that the h@xmath0 photometry fully supports our age and mass determinations of the ngc 5253 cluster sample based on medium- and broad - band photometry alone .
stochastic sampling of the stellar mass function , particularly of the massive stars in relatively low - mass ( @xmath37 a few @xmath5 m@xmath2 ) and therefore relatively poorly populated clusters , may significantly affect the determination of fundamental cluster parameters based on broad - band seds ( e.g. , cervio , luridiana & castander 2000 ; cervio et al .
2002 ; cervio & luridiana 2004 , 2006 ; barker et al . 2008 ; maz apellniz 2009 ; popescu & hanson 2010 ; fouesneau & lanon 2010 ; fouesneau et al .
2012 ; popescu , hanson & elmegreen 2012 ) . in general ,
stochastic sampling of cluster stellar mass functions leads to broad , asymmetric colour distributions compared with the equivalent distributions associated with fully sampled ssp models and , as a consequence , important local biases are introduced in cluster age determinations for masses @xmath38 a few @xmath5 m@xmath2 . the resulting cluster _
masses _ are usually less affected by stochastic sampling than the corresponding age estimates ; they tend to scatter around the equivalent mass determinations derived using the traditional approach .
inspection of the derived cluster masses in figs [ fig5.fig ] and [ fig7.fig ] clearly indicates that the majority of our sample clusters may be affected by stochastic sampling of their mass functions ( cf . the mass ranges quoted in harris et al .
2004 ; cresci et al .
this observation is further compounded by the results of our age determinations ( based on the assumption of fully sampled ssps ! ) , which imply that a large fraction of the ngc 5253 clusters have ages near @xmath39 yr ( as confirmed and tightly constrained by the h@xmath0 analysis in section [ halpha.sec ] ) .
this corresponds to stellar population ages when luminous red stars are present .
red - supergiant stars ( rsgs ; with stellar masses up to @xmath40 m@xmath2 ) , in particular , start to appear around this time in realistic stellar populations , while at the same time the massive , hot , ionizing stars that dominate at young ages may cause significant variations in the nebular emission from stochastically sampled clusters ( e.g. , cervio et al .
2000 ; fouesneau et al .
these stars are significantly brighter than their main - sequence counterparts , but not proportionally more massive .
the absence or presence of a small number of such stars can significantly affect the observed integrated colours of a cluster .
for instance , stochastic effects are expected to affect the colour and magnitude of a 10 myr - old , @xmath41 m@xmath2 cluster by @xmath42 and @xmath43 mag ( dolphin & kennicutt 2002 ) .
in addition , these sources are relatively short - lived , and so the luminosity of the clusters might be expected to vary significantly on short timescales ( e.g. , kiss et al .
2006 ; szczygie et al .
2010 ; and references therein ) .
this is of particular interest and relevance in the present context because our observational data were taken over a period spanning a total of @xmath44 years between the first and final images included in this study ( proposal ids 5479 and 10609 , respectively ) .
we can obtain a better ( initial ) handle on the significance of the stochastic sampling effects associated with our cluster sample by examining fig .
[ fig8.fig ] in detail .
first , we note that most of our clusters are young and relatively unaffected by extinction . for @xmath45 mag
, it appears that most of the clusters can be explained by a young age ( @xmath46 yr ) .
however , in this case neither clusters redder than @xmath47 mag , nor those redder than the @xmath48 values defined by the ssp models can be explained .
this implies that at least some amount of extinction is required to match the distribution of the clusters in colour colour space .
in addition , clusters that are redder in @xmath48 than the envelope of the ssp models with variable extinction are most likely explained by the presence of individual stars .
this includes the majority of objects we identified as having an ir excess .
( note that we can not exclude the possibility that , in a small number of cases , an additional photon source that is unaccounted for may also give rise to their violation of the observational boundaries for genuine stars and ssps . ) as such , we conclude that the ir excesses observed in 30 of the ngc 5253 clusters are consistent with the effects of stochastic sampling . similarly , the additional clusters found in the same part of the colour colour diagram are likely also affected by stochastic sampling if we adopt the same reasoning .
this includes 3040 per cent of the total sample discussed in this paper .
a first investigation focussing on the accuracy of derived cluster ages obtained along similar lines as done in this paper was published by silva - villa & larsen ( 2011 ) .
we are in the process of implementing direct stochastic modelling using the galev ssps as our basis .
a preliminary comparison of our models with the results of silva - villa & larsen ( 2011 ) indicates good agreement ( e. silva - villa , priv .
commun . ) .
we note , however , that we are introducing important improvements with respect to their work . in particular , our observations of the ngc 5253 cluster system cover a much larger wavelength range , while we are also investigating the effects of extinction as a free parameter in our fits .
a much more in - depth investigation of the effects of stochastic sampling on the ages and masses determined based on broad - band photometry will be published in paper ii .
once we have fully validated our stochastic modelling approach , we will undertake a detailed study of the effects of stochastic sampling on the derivation of the ngc 5253 fundamental cluster parameters ( paper iii ) .
this will have important consequences for our understanding of the system , given that many clusters have masses in the regime that is dominated by stochastic sampling effects .
the current cluster parameters will then provide a very useful comparison data set .
fig . [ agemass.fig ] shows the distribution of our final , well - fitted ngc 5253 star cluster sample ( of 149 objects ) in the diagnostic age
mass plane , as well as the age and mass distributions resulting from our ir - excess analysis .
the cluster population is dominated by a significant number of relatively low - mass ( @xmath49 m@xmath2 ) objects .
assuming fully sampled stellar mass functions , these objects have ages from a few @xmath3 to a few @xmath4 yr .
this age range is in excellent agreement with the starburst age of the host galaxy , @xmath50 myr , and is confirmed by our age redeterminations based on the clusters h@xmath0 fluxes .
our analysis has also revealed the presence of a small number of intermediate - age ( @xmath6 gyr - old ) , @xmath7 m@xmath2 clusters , as well as up to a dozen old clusters resembling true globular clusters ( gcs ) , in relation to both their ages ( @xmath8 gyr ) and masses ( @xmath51 m@xmath2 ) .
we emphasize that our discovery of a small number of old gcs is secure .
first , in our analysis we use a low metallicity of @xmath52 .
it is expected that the oldest stellar population components in a given galaxy are characterized by the lowest metallicity , since they were formed at a time when there was little recycled gas in the interstellar medium .
( this argument is valid under the assumption that these clusters formed in ngc 5253 and were not subsequently accreted ; see below . )
our age estimates at the current low metallicity are already almost as old as the oldest ages in our ssp models , whereas at such old ages ssp models are quite insensitive to changes caused by metallicity differences . we confirmed that adopting an even lower metallicity will not result in a different conclusion . in fig .
[ agemass.fig ] , we have also indicated the expected detection ( 50 per cent completeness ) limit based on standard ssp analysis ( solid line ) ; the limit is a steeply increasing function of cluster mass with increasing age . although we did not set out to select a statistically complete sample of star clusters , it is satisfying to note that our sample clusters obey a similar , galaxy - wide average detection limit across the entire age range .
we focus specifically on resolved yet compact clusters ( for which it is straightforward to obtain the integrated photometry and a generic completeness limit ) rather than on more dispersed stellar associations ( cf .
annibali et al .
this also enables a better comparison with previous studies of this galaxy , many of which were based on lower - resolution images than used in the present study .
the selection of the final sample shown in fig .
[ agemass.fig ] is governed by our observations with the lowest s / n .
depending on the nature of the clusters ( i.e. , with or without an ir excess ) , the images with the lowest s / n are the f330w and the f222 m observations , respectively .
the complex behaviour of the selection limit resulting from the data reduction and analysis steps , combined with the galaxy s highly variable background , renders determination of the ` true ' detection limit less than trivial .
in addition , the effects of stochasticity will also play a role in the ( non-)detection of the clusters closest to the detection limit ( e.g. , silva - villa & larsen 2010 , 2011 ) . keeping in mind both of these issues , so that it is unrealistic to assign a single detection limit to the entire galaxy , the distribution of the data points in fig .
[ agemass.fig ] implies that the _ average _ , galaxy - wide detection limit is @xmath53 mag ( @xmath54 mag ) , but we note that local variations , combined with the effects of stochasticity , could be up to 0.3 mag . given the number and concentration of old gcs above our detection limit in the ngc 5253 data , we speculate that these are merely the surviving high - mass , high - luminosity clusters of an initially much larger population of clusters that formed around the time of galaxy formation , many of which may have been disrupted or naturally faded to below the detection limit because of stellar evolution .
the young clusters are distributed in two narrow ` chimneys ' near @xmath55 and 7.2 , which are caused by the features in ssp models around that age ( cf . the ` wiggles ' in the ssp model used to indicate the selection limit in fig .
[ agemass.fig ] ) , but are not necessarily associated with stochastic sampling of their mass functions . in reality , we would expect these clusters to be spread out more evenly across this young age range .
the clusters in both chimneys are distributed randomly throughout the galaxy , similarly for objects with both @xmath56 and @xmath57 .
the yscs characterized by a clear ir excess are confined to the galaxy s main body ; the intermediate - age clusters in ngc 5253 , with ages @xmath58 , are found in the galaxy s outer region ( cf .
harbeck et al .
2012 ) , towards the south .
finally , the complement of @xmath59 gyr - old clusters are predominantly located in the southeast of the main body of ngc 5253 ( cf .
[ sources.fig ] ) . since our observational data reach similar depths across the galaxy ( except for the central region on the east featuring a wide dust lane )
, we would have expected to detect such old massive clusters across the galaxy with a similar level of confidence . as such
, we conclude that this spatial bias is likely real .
if these clusters were moving on chaotic , freely tumbling orbits through the galaxy , one would have expected them to be well mixed on these long timescales .
however , kobulnicky & skillman ( 1995 ) showed , based on observed hi gas dynamics , that the main body of the galaxy appears to be rotating as a solid body along the galaxy s _ major _ axis . under these circumstances , clusters that formed at one end of the gaseous central bar or disc , may have remained confined to a small area since the time of their formation .
alternatively , the old clusters could have been accreted externally : to explain the galaxy s peculiar velocity field , kobulnicky & skillman ( 1995 ) also suggested that accretion of a low - metallicity , gas - rich companion galaxy on a higly inclined orbit is highly plausible ( but see davidge 2007 ) .
this interpretation is supported by the unusual weakness of the galaxy s co emission , the morphology of the co gas and its unusual kinematic properties ( turner et al .
1997 ) .
we also note that almost all clusters affected by an @xmath60red excess , are found among the ysc population in clusters with masses @xmath61 m@xmath2 .
adamo et al .
( 2010a , b , 2011a , b ) identified two possible reasons for the occurrence of an ( infra-)red excess in more massive clusters in their sample bcg galaxies . for clusters younger than approximately 6 myr
, they suggested that the ir excess could be due to diffuse , hot dust in which these yscs may still be embedded and/or a large fraction of young stellar objects and pre - main - sequence ( pms ) stars . in the optical @xmath62 band ( f814w ) ,
the shallower red excess observed in such yscs may be owing to a dust photoluminescence bump in their seds at 0.70.9 @xmath63 m , often seen in the presence of very strong uv fields .
older clusters , with ages @xmath59 myr , may exhibit an ir excess , which these authors attribute to the uncertain treatment of rsg stars in ssp models or the effect of stochasticity in the stellar mass function . in ngc 5253 , we have probed to much lower masses than adamo et al .
( 2010a , b , 2011a , b ) could reach in their more distant bcg sample .
most of our ir - excess clusters are found in the younger ` chimney ' , characterized by an age of @xmath64 yr .
this is close to the lower age limit of our ssp models and also close to the age when yscs are expected to become optically visible ( i.e. , after dispersion of at least some of the embedded dust associated with their formation process ) , so that a number of these clusters may have even younger ages .
based on the detailed studies referenced above , these clusters are most likely affected by a combination of stochastic sampling effects and the presence of pms stars .
the ir - excess clusters in the older chimney , at @xmath657.2 are also of relatively low mass and , hence , we expect them to be affected by stochastic sampling effects , while at this age the stochastic colour variations owing to rsg stars will also become apparent
. only two of our ir - excess clusters allow us to offer a less ambiguous explanation .
the highest - mass cluster affected by an ir excess has a mass of almost @xmath41 m@xmath2 .
although it has been assigned an age of @xmath66 yr , stochastic sampling should only play a minor role , so that we are confident that the excess in this case is caused by the presence of a hot , diffuse dust cocoon or perhaps young stellar objects . the oldest cluster affected by an ir excess
has an age of almost @xmath67 yr .
although it has a low mass of @xmath68 m@xmath2 , so that stochastic sampling effects must duly be taken into account , this is also the time when ( relatively short - lived ) agb stars appear in realistic stellar populations , playing a similar role as rsg stars at ages near @xmath39 yr , both in terms of the numbers present at a given time and their short lifetimes .
cresci et al .
( 2005 ) published the most recent statistical study of the ngc 5253 cluster population ( see also harris et al .
they based their results on _ hst _
f547 m and f814w broad - band observations and ground - based @xmath69-band observations with the very large telescope , complemented with _
hst_-based h@xmath0 data .
qualitatively , our results are similar to theirs , although there are a number of important differences .
they divide their final cluster sample of 115 sources into a ` young ' subsample of 51 objects which were detected in the h@xmath0 filter , and an ` old ' subsample . for the ` young ' subsample
, they derive ages spanning the range from 3 to 19 myr .
this corresponds to the bulk of the clusters in our two young chimneys in fig .
[ fig7.fig ] . to derive the cluster masses
, they assumed an average extinction of @xmath70 mag which appears reasonable for most clusters based on our extinction estimates in fig .
[ fig5.fig ] and assuming a calzetti et al .
( 2000 ) extinction law
and an average age of 8 myr ; for the ` old ' clusters they assumed an average age of 20 myr ( cf .
harris et al .
2004 ) . above their 50 per cent completeness limit
, they find a steeply declining number of clusters with increasing mass , with a maximum mass of @xmath71 m@xmath2 .
our mass function ( fig .
[ fig7.fig ] ) samples significantly lower - mass clusters .
contrary to their analysis , however , we believe that we do not have sufficient numbers of clusters to comment on the reality ( or otherwise ) of a ` peak ' in the mass function . their result may be an artefact of the steeply increasing incompleteness limit with increasing age which could mask the true underlying mass distribution and produce an artificial turnover in the observed mass distribution ( cf .
[ agemass.fig ] ) .
prior to their work , calzetti et al .
( 1997 ) used optical _
hst_/wfpc2 broad- and narrow - band observations in a careful attempt to characterize the star cluster properties in the core of ngc 5253 .
tremonti et al .
( 2001 ) used _
uv spectroscopy of four of the brightest clusters in the galaxy s central region to derive their fundamental properties .
of the four clusters examined in detail in both the calzetti et al .
( 1997 ) and tremonti et al .
( 2001 ) studies , we managed to produce satisfactory results for three using our broad - band - only sed fitting routines . using calzetti et al.s ( 1997 ) nomenclature , these are clusters ngc 5253 - 1 , 2 and 6 ( corresponding to , respectively , objects 129 , 45 and 36 in table [ yggdrasil.tab ] ) . for ngc 5253 - 1 , calzetti et al .
( 1997 ) derive an age of 812 myr , while we find a best - fitting age of @xmath72 myr .
calzetti et al .
( 1997 ) and tremonti et al .
( 2001 ) find ages of , respectively , 5060 and @xmath73 myr for ngc 5253 - 2 , compared with our best age estimate of @xmath74 myr .
our results thus support the younger age advocated by tremonti et al .
( 2001 ) , although our mass estimate , @xmath75 m@xmath2 is somewhat higher than theirs , @xmath76 m@xmath2 .
note that although this cluster s derived mass tends towards the mass range where the effects of stochastic sampling become smaller , we caution that a small number of luminous red stars could easily affect its broad - band sed to mimic a younger age . finally , for ngc 5253 - 6 , calzetti et al .
( 1997 ) find a best - fitting age of 1017 myr , which is a close match to our age estimate , @xmath77 myr .
we also compared our derived age and mass estimates with the equivalent results of harris et al .
( 2004 ) . within the uncertainties associated with both sets of parameter determinations , our age and mass determinations of the dozen objects with parameter determinations in common
are fully consistent with theirs ( not shown ) .
recently , harbeck et al . (
2012 ) reported the discovery of three potentially massive clusters ( @xmath78 m@xmath2 ) with ages of order 12 gyr in the galaxy s outer regions , based on _
imaging observations in the f415w , f555w and f814w filters .
these clusters , which they refer to as # 2 , 6 and 7 , form part of a more extensive population of intermediate - age and old clusters . from an initial focus on the galaxy s starburst core and its properties , more recent studies have attempted to explore the galaxy s overall star - formation history .
the intermediate - age clusters of harbeck et al .
( 2012 ) , as well as our larger population of intermediate - age and old clusters support the notion that ngc 5253 is a very active dwarf starburst galaxy that has undergone multiple episodes of star and star cluster formation ( see also calzetti et al .
1997 and mcquinn et al .
2010a , b for similar conclusions based on studies of the field - star population ) .
next , we consider the cluster size distribution shown in fig . [ sizes.fig ] in the context of previous work .
harbeck et al .
( 2012 ) tabulate the fwhms of the 28 objects in the galaxy s outer regions which they discuss ( 18 likely clusters and 10 background galaxies ) . their resulting size distribution ( converted to gaussian @xmath29 s )
is generally flat , however , and does not show a clear peak at smaller sizes similar to what we find in this paper .
this is likely caused by their cluster selection procedure , which was based on visual inspection of the acs images .
in addition , we can not directly compare our cluster parameters derived in this paper with harbeck et al.s ( 2012 ) results , because both samples are complementary , without any spatial overlap .
harris et al . ( 2004 ) also examined the ngc 5253 cluster sizes and include a figure showing their ( fwhm ) size distribution as a function of cluster magnitude .
their size distribution is based on analysis of their f547 m image ( which is closest in wavelength to the f555w filter we used ) .
the vast majority of their sample clusters have sizes which are similar to the psf size , with a small tail towards more extended clusters .
although this trend is qualitiatively similar to our result , we point out that their size measurements were based on wfpc2/wf camera images , which have a factor of approximately 2 lower resolution than the acs / hrc images upon which we base our analysis .
the bottom inset in fig .
[ sizes.fig ] shows the equivalent figure for our data set , also using the f547 m magnitudes .
the trend shown is similar to that found by harris et al .
we re - emphasize here that we specifically selected objects that appeared compact , which implies that we selected against including stellar associations .
finally , we consider the cluster size distribution in a wider context .
bastian et al .
( 2005 ) examined the effective radius ( @xmath79 ) distribution of their ysc sample in m51 and of the old gcs in the milky way .
they represented the distribution by a power law of the form @xmath80 , and found best - fitting power - law indices of @xmath81 and @xmath82 for the m51 and milky way clusters , respectively .
this compares to @xmath83 for the yscs in the merger remnant galaxy ngc 3256 ( ashman & zepf 2001 ) . here
, we find a best - fitting power - law distribution of the clusters gaussian @xmath29 s characterized by @xmath84 , which agrees to within the uncertainties with these previous determinations provided that there is a one - to - one correlation between @xmath85 and @xmath31 , which is a reasonable assumption if cluster profiles do not differ too significantly among galaxies .
because of the wealth of available multi - wavelength data sets in the _ hst _ data archive , we chose ngc 5253 as target to compare two model approaches to determine fundamental star cluster parameters based on up - to - date input physics .
we have gone significantly beyond previous studies of the ngc 5253 star cluster population .
first , although we still used medium- , broad - band and h@xmath0 imaging observations , we base our results on the highest - achievable spatial resolution .
the gain in resolution compared to previous studies is of order a factor of two in both dimensions , while our accessible wavelength range transcends previous studies by incorporation of both the nuv and nir passbands .
crucially , this allows us to at least partially break the age
metallicity and age extinction degeneracies .
second , we applied two spectral synthesis methods to our _ hst _ observations in up to 10 filters , taking into account the updated effects of nebular emission and the improved physical understanding of the excess flux at red optical and ir wavelengths found for a subset of young clusters .
we used the most recent models to explore the origin of excess emission of a fraction of the yscs in optical @xmath62 and longer - wavelength nir filters compared to ` standard ' ssp models , assuming fully sampled stellar mass functions .
of the 182 objects in our sample with reliable photometry in at least 7 filters ( i.e. , uncertainties @xmath86 mag ) , we obtained best fits of sufficient quality ( i.e. , with sufficiently small @xmath87 and @xmath88 ) for 149 cluster candidates ; we discarded the remaining 33 objects from our final sample .
of these 149 clusters , 30 were characterized by a clear ir excess , while the remaining 119 objects exhibited seds as expected for fully sampled clusters .
we compared our derived cluster ages and masses based on application of our novel yggdrasil - based approach ( adamo et al .
2010a , b , 2011a ,
b ) with the results from application of galev+analysed sed matching .
the main features in the overall age and mass distributions were well reproduced by both independent approaches . assuming a simple underlying gaussian distribution , the peak in the age distribution resulting from our galev+analysed analysis occurs at @xmath19 , with @xmath20 . for comparison ,
the yggdrasil - based analysis returned @xmath21 , with @xmath22 . for the mass distributions ,
we find @xmath23 versus 3.37 , and @xmath89 versus 0.77 , respectively .
the ngc 5253 cluster population is dominated by a significant number of relatively low - mass ( @xmath90 m@xmath2 ) objects .
assuming fully sampled stellar mass functions , they have ages ranging from a few @xmath3 to a few @xmath4 yr .
this age range is in excellent agreement with the starburst age of the host galaxy ( @xmath50 myr ) .
most of our ir - excess clusters are found in the younger ` chimney ' observed in the diagnostic age mass plane based on our fully sampled ssp analysis , characterized by an age of @xmath91 yr and masses of up to a few @xmath5 m@xmath2 .
the observational properties of these clusters are most likely affected by a combination of stochastic sampling effects and the presence of pms stars .
the ir - excess clusters in the older chimney , at @xmath927.2 are also of relatively low mass and , hence , we expect them to be affected by stochastic sampling effects , while at this age the stochastic colour variations owing to luminous red stars ( including rsgs ) will also become apparent
. our analysis also revealed the presence of a small number of intermediate - age ( @xmath6 gyr - old ) , @xmath7 m@xmath2 clusters , as well as up to a dozen old clusters resembling true gcs , in relation to both their ages ( @xmath8 gyr ) and masses ( @xmath93 m@xmath2 ) .
our detection of this fairly small number of true gcs is simply owing to selection effects and may not represent a genuine dearth of old , low - mass clusters in the galaxy .
the presence of populations of young , intermediate - age and old clusters supports the notion that ngc 5253 is a very active dwarf starburst galaxy that has undergone multiple episodes of star cluster formation .
the steeply increasing detection limit as a function of increasing age implies that even if there were large numbers of intermediate - age and old clusters of intermediate masses , we would not be able to detect them at the present time .
we thank angela adamo for providing the yggdrasil - based analysis .
we also acknowledge her and ralf kotulla for their input in many of the technical aspects of this work .
we really appreciate the referee s useful comments and constructive suggestions leading to the final version of this manuscript .
this paper is based on archival observations with the nasa / esa _ hubble space telescope _
, obtained from the st - ecf archive facility .
this research has also made use of nasa s astrophysics data system abstract service .
rdg and pa acknowledge research support from the national natural science foundation of china ( nsfc ) through grant 11073001 .
g is a royal swedish academy of sciences research fellow supported by a grant from the knut and alice wallenberg foundation .
ez and g acknowledge financial support from the swedish research council ( vr ) and the swedish national space board . | arxiv |
Appeal launched after robbery
by Danielle Thompson (December 2020)
AN APPEAL has been launched after a robbery at a shop in Ainsdale on Wednesday, December 16.
At around 10pm, Merseyside Police received a reports of a robbery at the One Stop Shop on Liverpool Road.
Two men with their faces covered forced the shop shutters open, assaulted a member of staff and forced two members of staff into the back of the shop.
The offenders also made threats towards the staff, although no weapons were seen.
A total of £90 was taken from the till, as well as a number of cigarettes.
Police are looking to speak with a witness who is reported to have seen the incident through the shop window and saw the offenders make off in a dark coloured crossover style car.
The offenders are described as white men in their early 20s, around 5ft 10in tall, with Southport accents.
One of the men was wearing a black bubble coat, with camouflage balaclava and carrying a camouflage backpack. The other was wearing a black padded coat, black face mask, dark trousers and gloves.
An investigation is underway and CCTV and house-to-house enquiries are being carried out.
Detective Inspector Catherine Walsh said: "Robberies of businesses are far from victimless crimes – they have a huge impact on people living and working in Merseyside, who provide a vital service to our communities.
"We are committed to finding the people responsible and would ask anyone who has information to get in touch.
"I would appeal to anyone who was in the area, either on foot or in a car, yesterday evening who saw anyone or anything suspicious to contact us.
"We are particularly interested in speaking with the witness who may have seen the incident through the window – if this is you, please get in touch as you could hold information which is vital to our investigation."
Anyone with any information about this incident is asked to contact @MerPolCC, on Twitter, 'Merseyside Police Contact Centre' on Facebook or call, 101 quoting ref 20000764327. You can also contact the independent charity Crimestoppers anonymously, on 0800 555 111 or via their online form at: https://crimestoppers-uk.org/give-information/give-information. | slim_pajama |
any aberrations in the different stages of tooth development can result in unique manifestations , either in the primary or in the permanent dentition .
the terms double teeth , double formations , joined teeth , fused teeth1 or
dental twinning2 are often used to describe fusion or gemination , both of which are primary developmental abnormalities of the teeth .
fusion is a rare developmental disorder characterized by the union of two adjacent teeth at the crown level ( enamel and dentin ) , causing the formation of a tooth with an enlarged clinical crown .
incidence of this anomaly is approximately 0.1% in the permanent and 0.5% in the primary dentition .
however , reports of its distribution according to gender , race and location are conflicting in literature.3 fusion may be partial or total , depending on the stage of tooth development at the time of union .
there may be one pulp chamber divided into two root canals or two independent endodontic systems .
clinically , the crowns of the teeth appear to be melded together , with a small groove between the mesial and distal sections.4 talon cusp is a morphologically well - delineated accessory cusp - like structure projecting from the cingulum area or cementoenamel junction towards the incisal ridge of the maxillary or mandibular anterior teeth in both the primary and permanent dentitions .
this anomalous structure is composed of normal enamel , dentin and varying extension of pulp tissue.5 the term talon cusp was coined by mellor and ripa6 due its resemblance to an eagle s talon .
the diverse clinical manifestations of the anomaly , have led the talon cusp to be described in many different ways : exaggerated cingula , cusp - like hyperplasia , accessory cusp , supernumerary cusp , interstitial cusp.7 the prevalence of talon cusps is low , with an incidence of less than 0.06%8 to approximately 8%9 of the population . due to a wide variation in the size and shape of talon cusp and in order to have diagnostic criteria , hattab et al10 classified the anomaly into three types :
type 1 ( talon ) : a morphologically well - delineated additional cusp that prominently projects from the palatal ( or facial ) surface of a primary or permanent anterior tooth and extends at least half the distance from the cement - enamel junction to the incisal edge.type 2 ( semi talon ) : an additional cusp of a millimeter or more but extending less than half the distance from the cement - enamel junction to the incisal edge .
it may blend with the palatal surface or stand away from the rest of the crown.type 3 ( trace talon ) : an enlarged or prominent cingula and their variations , i.e. conical , bifid or tubercle - like .
type 1 ( talon ) : a morphologically well - delineated additional cusp that prominently projects from the palatal ( or facial ) surface of a primary or permanent anterior tooth and extends at least half the distance from the cement - enamel junction to the incisal edge .
type 2 ( semi talon ) : an additional cusp of a millimeter or more but extending less than half the distance from the cement - enamel junction to the incisal edge .
it may blend with the palatal surface or stand away from the rest of the crown .
type 3 ( trace talon ) : an enlarged or prominent cingula and their variations , i.e. conical , bifid or tubercle - like .
even though hypodontia is a common trait in modern populations , often encountered by dental practitioners , its prevalence is as low as 12.2% in the mandibular incisor region.7 a tooth may be considered to be developmentally missing when it can not be discerned clinically or radiographically and no history exists of its extraction .
the term mild - to - moderate hypodontia is used to denote agenesis of teeth up to five , while the absence of six or more teeth , excluding the third molars , indicates severe hypodontia .
this article describes a unique case of a lingual talon cusp on fused permanent mandibular incisors associated with hypodontia of an adjacent tooth .
an eleven year - old male visited the department of pediatric dentistry at the pacific dental college & hospital , udaipur , india , for routine dental checkup .
intraorally , a mixed dentition was observed with fair oral hygiene and dental caries in the mandibular right second primary molar .
the upper arch was u - shaped , whereas the lower arch was parabolic , with the midline shifted to the right .
clinically , only two incisors were seen in the mandibular arch , one with increased mesiodistal coronal width of 9.5 mm .
a double tooth was observed with pyramidal - shaped cusp - like projections from the lingual surface , extending to more than half the height of the tooth crown ( figures 2 and 3 ) .
clinically , the crowns of the teeth appeared to be melded together , without any distinct labio - lingual groove .
although , the talon cusp neither irritated the tongue during speech and mastication nor interfered with occlusion , the patient complained of the bulkiness in the area .
esthetics was compromised because of the large size of one tooth and the absence of another . neither the parent nor the patient could recall any similar anomalies in the primary dentition .
periapical radiograph of the double tooth revealed two separate root canals terminating in two apical foramina that emanated from a conjoint pulp chamber .
the talon cusp resembled a v - shaped structure superimposed on the image of the affected crown ( figure 4 ) .
panoramic radiograph showed the presence of a normally developed permanent dentition except for the lower right central incisor , which was found to be congenitally absent ( figure 5 ) .
based on the clinical and radiographic findings , lingual talon cusp type 1 described by hattab et al10 on fused permanent mandibular incisors associated with hypodontia of an adjacent tooth has been diagnosed .
oral hygiene prophylaxis was performed to improve the patient s oral hygiene . with parental consent , a periodic reduction of the talon cusp
was carried out at 68 week intervals , using a diamond bur in a high - speed water - cooled hand - piece . following each grinding procedure , the exposed surface was treated with fluoride varnish as a desensitizing agent .
these anomalies may develop during tooth bud morpho - differentiation as a result of a developmental aberration of both the ectoderm and mesoderm .
several mechanisms have been proposed to explain the etiology of fusion including the influence of pressure or physical forces producing close contact between two developing teeth , necrosis of epithelial tissue between two developing teeth , embryological persistence of the interdental lamina between two germs , genetic predisposition , and environmental factors such as thalidomide embryopathy , fetal alcohol exposure , or hypervitaminosis a of the pregnant mother .
it may also occur with several syndromes such as achondrodysplasia , chondroectodermal dysplasia , focal dermal hypoplasia , and osteopetrosis.12 brook and winter1 elucidated the difficulty of deciding whether a tooth is fused or geminated and proposed that these anomalies be referred to in a neutral term , such as double teeth .
several clinical and radiographic criteria are used to distinguish fusion from gemination , such as morphology of the crown and the pulp chamber , location , and number of teeth .
fusion is the incomplete attempt of two tooth buds to fuse into one , whereas gemination is the incomplete attempt of one tooth bud to divide into two .
hence the tooth count in gemination will show a full complement of teeth , while in fusion , the tooth count of the arch is one tooth less.12 clinically , gemination results in a bifid crown , with the coronal halves appearing as mirror images , whereas fusion takes place at an angle causing the tooth to have a crooked appearance .
radiographic examination reveals usually two separate canals in case of fusion , whereas in gemination there is usually one large conjoint root canal . after careful clinical and radiographic evaluations
, we judged the double tooth in the present case report to be most likely a fusion of the permanent left mandibular central and lateral incisors .
it had two separate root canal systems , and no supernumerary teeth were present in the arch .
similar to fusion , talon cusps are believed to originate during the morpho - differentiation stage of tooth development , as a result of an outward folding of the inner enamel epithelial cells and a transient focal hyperplasia of the mesenchymal dental papilla.10 the exact etiology of talon cusps is yet to be known ; however , there is strong support for a multifactorial etiology , involving both genetic and environmental factors .
they have also been reported in patients with mohr syndrome,13 sturge - weber syndrome,14 rubinstein - taybi syndrome,15 cleft lip and palate,16 incontinentia pigmenti achromians,17 hypomelanosis of ito,18 ellisvan creveld syndrome19 and alagille s syndrome.20 tooth development is a complex process , in which reciprocal and sequential interactions between epithelial and mesenchymal cells regulate the cell activities like proliferation , condensation , adhesion , migration , differentiation and secretion , which lead to the formation of a functional tooth organ .
any aberration among these will result in tooth ageneses , the most common type of craniofacial malformations.21 although tooth agenesis is occasionally caused by environmental factors , in the majority of cases hypodontia has a genetic basis .
in familial hypodontia , the type of inheritance in the majority of families seems to be autosomal dominant with incomplete penetration and variable expressivity.22 mandibular talon cusps are less common when compared to 94% involvement of maxillary dentition.7 on the other hand , fused dentition exhibiting a talon cusp is extremely rare.3,23 although talon cusp has been associated with other dental anomalies elsewhere in the oral cavity,24 only one case of talon cusp with hypodontia of adjacent tooth has been reported in the literature.25 the striking uniqueness of the present case is the concomitant occurrence of fusion and talon cusp with single tooth hypodontia involving the adjacent tooth , which strongly points to an interplay of multiple etiological factors .
asymptomatic anterior fusion should be left alone unless problems arise with esthetics , spacing , and dental caries .
simple composite restorations can be used to camouflage and prevent caries developing in the fissures.26 invasive treatment such as selective grinding and surgical hemisection may compromise the pulpal status and should be deferred until the root apex is mature.4 the treatment of talon cusp requires careful clinical judgment and is dependent on its size and shape .
management includes no treatment , sequential grinding , pit and fissure sealing , pulp therapy , restorative treatment , full crown coverage and extraction of the affected tooth.5 in the present case , gradual reduction of the talon cusps was carried out , at 68 week intervals to allow the deposition of reparative dentin to preserve pulpal vitality . because most of the odontoblasts lie along the length of the cusp,27 grinding was done on the side of the cusp to initiate reparative dentin deposition .
patients should be properly informed of the potential risk factors and problems associated with these anomalies . | pubmed |
Biedaszki is a village in the administrative district of Gmina Węgorzewo, within Węgorzewo County, Warmian-Masurian Voivodeship, in northern Poland, close to the border with the Kaliningrad Oblast of Russia.
Before 1945, the area was part of Germany East Prussia.
References
Category:Villages in Węgorzewo County | wikipedia |
the energy spectrum of primary cosmic rays extends over more than @xmath0 decades in energy .
it follows , over a large range , a simple power law indicating its non - thermal nature .
the highest energy cosmic rays ( which means particles with energies above @xmath1 eev @xmath2 ev ) must be produced by the most extreme non - thermal process in the universe .
their energy spectrum , arrival directions , and composition can be inferred from air shower observations . however , the origin of these particles is still unknown and there is not a consensus whether there is a steepening in the energy spectrum at around @xmath3 eev . determining the shape of the spectrum in this energy range in sufficient detail requires an enormous detector exposure .
the pierre auger observatory was designed to study these ultra - high energy cosmic rays .
although under construction , the auger southern site is the largest cosmic ray detector in the world .
a fundamental characteristics of the pierre auger observatory is its capability of _ hybrid _ reconstruction of cosmic ray showers @xcite .
two independent detectors , the surface detector ( sd ) , which samples the shower particles at ground , and the fluorescence detector ( fd ) , which collects the fluorescence light emitted by the shower particles along their path in the atmosphere , are able to measure the energy and direction of the same cosmic ray shower . the enhanced capabilities of the auger hybrid detector are examined in this paper .
the pierre auger observatory was designed to observe , in coincidence , the shower particles at ground and the associated fluorescence light generated in the atmosphere .
this is achieved with a large array of water cherenkov detectors coupled with air - fluorescence detectors that overlook the surface array .
it is not simply a dual experiment .
apart from important cross - checks and measurement redundancy , the two techniques see air showers in complementary ways .
a single air shower is detected 3-dimensionally .
the ground array measures the 2-dimensional lateral structure of the shower at ground level , with some ability to separate the electromagnetic and muon components .
the fluorescence detector records the longitudinal profile of the shower during its development through the atmosphere .
a _ hybrid _ event is an air shower that is simultaneously detected by the fluorescence detector and the ground array .
the observatory was originally designed and is currently being built with a _
cross triggering _ capability .
data are recovered from both detectors whenever either system is triggered . if an air shower independently triggers both detectors the event is tagged accordingly .
there are also cases where the fluorescence detector , having a lower energy threshold , promotes a sub threshold array trigger .
surface stations are then matched by timing and location .
this is an important capability because these sub threshold hybrid events would not have triggered the array otherwise .
the geometrical reconstruction of the air shower s axis is accomplished by minimizing a @xmath4 function involving data from all triggered elements in the eye and on the ground .
the reconstruction accuracy is far better than the ground array counters and the single eye could achieve independently @xcite .
the combination of the air fluorescence measurement and the particle detection on the ground provides an absolute energy calibration .
the fd measurements determine the longitudinal development profile , whose integral is proportional to the total energy of the electromagnetic particle cascade .
the sd independently estimates the shower energy by evaluating the particle density at @xmath5 m from the core .
this ground parameter , called @xmath6 , is estimated from the surface stations by fitting the measured densities to a lateral distribution function @xcite .
a conversion factor that relates @xmath6 to the shower energy ( based on the fd information ) is extracted from hybrid events .
this reduces significantly the dependence on air shower models and on assumptions of the primary composition .
the pierre auger collaboration started the construction of the southern site in @xmath7 in the city of malarge , which is located at an elevation of @xmath8 m a.s.l . in the province of mendoza , argentina .
after a successful operation of a prototype experiment @xcite , the southern observatory started operation in _ hybrid _ production mode in january , 2004 .
surface stations have a @xmath9% duty cycle , while fluorescence eyes can only operate on clear moonless nights .
both surface and fluorescence detectors have been running simultaneously @xmath10 of the time .
the number of hybrid events represents @xmath11 the statistics of the surface array data .
the southern site will be completed in 2007 .
another important objective is to obtain a uniform exposure over the full sky .
this will be achieved by constructing a second instrument in the northern hemisphere .
each site is conceived to cover an area of @xmath12 km@xmath13 in order to collect about @xmath14 event per week and site above @xmath3 eev .
the northern observatory is planned to be sited in the u.s .
a hybrid detector achieves the best geometrical accuracy by using timing information from all the detector components , both fd pixels and sd counters .
each element records a pulse of light from which one can determine the central time of the pulse and its uncertainty .
each trial geometry for the shower axis yields a prediction for the times at each detector component .
differences between actual and predicted times are weighted using their corresponding uncertainties , squared , and summed to construct a @xmath4 value .
the hypothesis with the minimum value of @xmath4 is the reconstructed shower axis . in the fd ,
cosmic ray showers are detected as a sequence of triggered pixels in the camera .
an example of an event propagating through two adjacent fd telescopes is presented in fig .
[ fig : gcamera ] .
the first step in the analysis is the determination of the shower - detector plane ( sdp ) .
the sdp is the plane that includes the location of the eye and the line of the shower axis .
( see the sketch in fig .
[ fig : sketch ] . ) experimentally , it is the plane through the eye which most nearly contains the pointing directions of the fd pixels centered on the shower axis .
( see fitted line in fig .
[ fig : gcamera ] . ) using a known axis provided from the central laser facility ( clf ) , described in ref .
@xcite , the sdp reconstruction error can be evaluated by comparing the space angle between the normal vector to the experimentally determined sdp and the known true normal vector .
this uncertainty in the sdp is not greater than about @xmath15 .
next , the timing information of the pixels is used for reconstructing the shower axis within the sdp . as illustrated in fig .
[ fig : sketch ] , the shower axis can be characterized by two parameters : the perpendicular distance @xmath16 from the eye to the track , and the angle @xmath17 that the track makes with the horizontal line in the sdp .
each pixel which observes the track has a pointing direction which makes an angle @xmath18 with the horizontal line .
let @xmath19 be the time when the shower front on the axis passes the point of closest approach @xmath16 to the eye .
the light arrives at the @xmath20th pixel at the time @xmath21}.
\label{eq : timefit}\ ] ] the shower parameters are then determined by fitting the data points to this functional form . using the fadc electronics ,
such a monocular reconstruction may achieve excellent accuracy .
however , the accuracy of the monocular reconstruction is limited when the measured angular speed @xmath22 does not change much over the observed track length .
an example is shown in fig .
[ fig : timefit ] . for these events ( usually short tracks )
there is a small curvature in the functional form of eq .
( [ eq : timefit ] ) such that there is a family of possible @xmath23 axis solutions .
this is also illustrated in fig .
[ fig : correlation ] .
not only the uncertainties in @xmath24 and @xmath17 are large , but also they are strongly correlated .
this translates directly into an uncertainty in the other shower parameters , especially in the reconstructed shower energy .
this asymmetric uncertainty in the energy and angular resolution are important drawbacks of the monocular reconstruction .
the aforementioned degeneracy can be broken by combining the timing information from the sd stations with that of the fd telescopes .
this is called the _ hybrid _ reconstruction .
the hybrid solution for the example shown in fig .
[ fig : timefit ] is shown in fig .
[ fig : correlation ] as a white star and its uncertainty as the smaller ( full ) ellipse .
regions ) for the axis fit shown in fig .
[ fig : timefit ] .
the large uncertainty ( and strong correlation ) of the monocular reconstruction is broken using the timing information from the surface detectors ( hybrid ) .
the stars mark the solutions that minimize the @xmath25 for the axis reconstruction .
( following the notation of this paper , @xmath26 . ) , scaledwidth=45.0% ] since the sd operates with a @xmath27 duty cycle , most of the events observed by the fd are in fact hybrid events .
there are also cases where the fluorescence detector , having a lower energy threshold , promotes a sub threshold array trigger .
surface stations are then matched by timing and location .
this is an important capability because these sub threshold hybrid events would not have triggered the array otherwise .
in fact , the time of arrival at a single counter at ground can suffice for the hybrid reconstruction .
the reconstruction uncertainties are evaluated using events with _ known _ geometries , _ i.e. _ laser beams .
since the location of the clf ( approximately equidistant from the first three fluorescence sites ) and the direction of the laser beam are known to an accuracy better than the expected angular resolution of the fluorescence detector , laser shots from the clf can be used to measure the accuracy of the geometrical reconstruction .
furthermore , the laser beam is split and part of the laser light is sent through an optical fiber to a nearby ground array station .
thus , the axis of the laser light can be reconstructed both in monocular mode and in the _ single - tank _ hybrid mode .
the resolution of the monocular and hybrid reconstructions are compared in fig .
[ resolvrp ] for the distance between the eye and the clf , and in fig .
[ resolvchi0 ] for the angle of the axis .
the results are very encouraging . with the monocular reconstruction
, the location of the clf can be determined with a resolution of @xmath28 m. after including the timing information of the single water tank , the resolution improves by one order of magnitude with no systematic shift .
difference between the reconstructed and true distance from the eye to the vertical laser beam using the monocular and hybrid techniques .
the location of the laser is known to @xmath29 m. , scaledwidth=45.0% ] angular difference between reconstructed and true direction of the laser beam using the monocular and hybrid techniques .
the laser beam is vertical within @xmath30 .
, scaledwidth=45.0% ] as mentioned before , the laser light from the clf produces simultaneous triggers in both the surface and ( three ) fluorescence detectors .
the recorded event times are used to measure and monitor the relative timing between the two detectors .
the time offset between the first fluorescence eye and the surface detector is shown in fig .
[ offset ] .
this time offset is crucial for the accuracy of the hybrid reconstruction , and it has been measured to better than @xmath31 ns @xcite .
the contribution to the systematic uncertainty in the core location due to the uncertainty in the time synchronization is @xmath32 m. time offset between the surface detector and one of the fluorescence detectors .
the variation in time is within the uncertainty of @xmath31 ns . ,
scaledwidth=45.0% ] using the timing information from the eye s pixels together with the surface stations to reconstruct real air showers , a core location resolution of @xmath31 m is achieved .
the resolution for the arrival direction of cosmic rays is @xmath33 @xcite .
these results for the _ hybrid _ accuracy are in good agreement with estimations using analytic arguments @xcite , measurements on real data using a bootstrap method @xcite , and previous simulation studies @xcite .
after successful reconstruction of the event geometry , the fadc traces of the fd pixels are analyzed in order to obtain the light emitted along the shower axis .
an atmospheric scattering model is used in this step to transform the light received at the fd back to the light emitted from the shower axis . the geometrical height , as observed by the telescopes , is converted to grammage of atmosphere .
the amount of fluorescence light emitted from a volume of air is proportional to the energy dissipated by the shower particles in that volume .
the observed longitudinal light profile represents the energy loss in the atmosphere , which in turn is proportional to the number of charged particles in a given volume .
the result for a hybrid shower of @xmath34 is shown in fig .
[ fig : profile ] ( bottom ) .
the line represents the best fit to a gaisser - hillas function @xcite , yielding a primary energy of @xmath35 eev , in good agreement with the @xmath6 determination . an air - shower event detected both in water tanks ( _ top : _ array view ) , and in a fluorescence detector ( _ bottom : _ longitudinal profile ) . ,
status of the pierre auger southern observatory on may 10 , 2006 .
there were 1138 deployed tanks and 953 of them were fully operational . also shown
are the locations of the fluorescence detectors with their fields of view ( for the three fully operational detectors ) . the fourth fluorescence site ( loma amarilla )
is under construction .
, scaledwidth=45.0% ] the status of the southern observatory on may 10 , 2006 is summarized in fig .
[ status ] .
there were 953 fully operational tanks at that time .
the first two fluorescence sites ( los leones and coihueco ) were fully operational , _
i.e. _ running six telescopes each , in june , 2004 .
the third site ( los morados ) started operation on march 18 , 2005 .
the fourth and last site ( loma amarilla ) is currently under construction and is scheduled to start operation by the end of 2006 .
the present average rate is @xmath31 hybrid events per night per eye , for a total of @xmath36 events up to june , 2006 . at this rate , @xmath37
hybrid events per month are expected when the southern site is completed .
in the pierre auger observatory two complementary experimental approaches are combined on a shower - by - shower basis within one single experiment .
such redundancy allows cross - correlations between experimental techniques , thereby controlling the systematic uncertainties .
furthermore , there is an improvement in the resolution of the energy , mass , and arrival direction of the reconstructed primary particles .
data are being used to verify both the performance of the individual components @xcite , as well as to produce the highest quality reconstructed air - shower events @xcite .
results are very promising @xcite and underline the advantages of the hybrid approach .
hybrid air shower measurements are utilized in the spectrum analysis to avoid dependence on specific numerical simulations of air showers and detector responses to them .
the analysis is also free of assumptions about the primary nuclear masses .
the fd provides a nearly calorimetric , model - independent energy measurement : fluorescence light is produced in proportion to energy dissipation by a shower in the atmosphere .
hybrid data establish the relation of shower energy to a ground parameter .
moreover , hybrid data determine the trigger probability for individual tanks as a function of core distance and energy , from which it is found that the sd event trigger is fully efficient above @xmath38 eev for zenith angles less than @xmath39 .
the sd exposure is then calculated simply by integrating the geometric aperture over time .
it is the continuously operating surface array which provides the high statistics with unambiguous exposure .
assigning energies to the sd event set is a two - step process .
the first step is to assign an energy parameter , @xmath40 , to each event .
then the hybrid events are used to establish the rule for converting @xmath40 to energy .
the energy parameter @xmath40 for each shower comes from its experimentally measured @xmath6 .
it may be regarded as the @xmath6 measurement the shower would have produced if it had arrived @xmath41 from the zenith . as it can be seen in fig .
[ fig : cic ] , @xmath40 is well correlated with the fd energy measurements of high quality hybrid events .
the fitted line gives an empirical rule for assigning energies ( in eev ) based on @xmath40 ( in vem ) : @xmath42 the sd acceptance is not saturated below @xmath38 eev .
but the hybrid events used in fig . [ fig : cic ] , which start at @xmath43 eev , are those with core locations and arrival directions such that they have a probability greater than 0.9 for satisfying the sd trigger and quality conditions .
the distribution over energy produced by this two - step procedure becomes the cosmic ray spectrum presented in ref .
@xcite . shower energy ( measured from the longitudinal profile ) as a function of the ground parameter @xmath40 .
each point is a hybrid event recorded when there were contemporaneous aerosol measurements , whose longitudinal profile included shower maximum in a measured range of at least 350 g @xmath44 , and in which there was less than 10% cherenkov contamination .
the fitted line is @xmath45.,scaledwidth=45.0% ] due to the much improved angular accuracy , the _ hybrid _ data sample is ideal for anisotropy studies and , in particular , for point source searches .
results on a search for a point like source in the direction of the galactic center ( gc ) using these hybrid events were presented in ref .
these events have a better angular resolution ( @xmath46 at 68% c.l . in the eev energy range ) .
considering the hybrid events with an energy between @xmath47 ev and @xmath48 ev , no significant excess is seen in the gc direction .
for instance , in an optimal top - hat window of @xmath49 radius , 0.3 events are expected while no single event direction falls within that circle .
this leads to a source flux upper - bound at 95% c.l .
of @xmath50 ( the factor @xmath51 is close to unity and parametrises the uncertainties in the flux normalization . )
note that the energy assignments of the fd apply regardless of the assumed primary composition ( except for a small correction to account for the missing energy ) , be they protons or heavy nuclei .
however , the acceptance has a dependence on composition because different primaries develop at different depths in the atmosphere . since a quality requirement for hybrid events is to have the maximum of the shower development inside the field of view of the telescopes , this affects the sensitivity to different primaries .
the bound obtained is indeed conservative even if the bulk of the cosmic rays are heavy nuclei .
an upper limit for the photon fraction in cosmic rays with energies above @xmath52 ev was derived using the hybrid data set @xcite .
the importance of the photon fraction lies in the fact that _ top - down _ models predict a considerable proportion of photons among the generated particles .
the measured photon flux is thus a valuable indicator of these non - accelerator models .
the method used in ref .
@xcite to distinguish between hadrons and photons in the hybrid data exploits the information on the longitudinal profile of the air shower .
in fact , this is the first such limit on photons obtained by observing the fluorescence light profile of air showers .
the atmospheric depth at the shower maximum , @xmath53 , is commonly used as a discriminant observable for the cosmic ray composition because lighter nuclei penetrate , on average , more deeply into the atmosphere . above @xmath52 ev ,
showers initiated by photons develop significantly deeper in the atmosphere than hadronic showers . no candidate for a primary photon
was found in the hybrid data taken between jan , 2004 and feb , 2006 . by comparing the observed @xmath53 of each hybrid event to predictions from hadronic simulations , an upper limit of @xmath54 ( at @xmath55 c.l . ) was derived .
this results confirms and improves the existing limits above @xmath1 eev .
this analysis is currently limited mainly by the the small number of events .
the number of hybrid events will considerably increase in the next few years , and much lower primary photon fractions can be tested .
an upper limit of @xmath56 could be achieved , for example , with two more years of data taking . moreover
, the larger statistics will allow to increase the threshold energy above @xmath1 eev where even larger photon fractions are predicted by the models . a similar limit ( @xmath57 ) but at higher energy ( e.g. above @xmath58 eev ) , would be well below existing limits and severely constrain non - acceleration models .
the pierre auger observatory is a hybrid detector with excellent capabilities for studying the highest energy cosmic rays .
much of its capability stems from the accurate geometric reconstruction it achieves .
the shower geometry is reconstructed combining information from the eyes and the ground detectors .
arrival directions are determined to a small fraction of a degree and the shower core is located to an accuracy of about @xmath3 m @xcite .
the construction of the southern observatory is well under way .
eighteen fd telescopes and more than @xmath59 of the surface array are in operation taking data routinely . at the present rate of deployment
, construction will be finish in mid 2007 .
detectors are performing very well and the first results are very encouraging .
emphasis is placed on hybrid analysis that provide unprecedented quality in geometry , energy , and mass reconstruction . of utmost importance for
the near future will be the determination of the energy spectrum to study the gzk feature , and the search for anisotropies in arrival directions .
it is important to note that both sd and fd techniques have different systematics , and results are preliminary at this stage while the observatory is under construction .
the possibility of studying the same set of air showers with two independent methods is valuable in understanding the strengths and limitations of each technique .
the hybrid analysis benefits from the calorimetry of the fluorescence technique and the uniformity of the surface detector aperture .
p. l. ghia [ pierre auger collaboration ] , arxiv : astro - ph/0507029 .
j. abraham _ et al .
_ [ pierre auger collaboration ] , nucl . instrum . meth .
a * 523 * , 50 ( 2004 ) .
f. arqueros _ et al . _
[ pierre auger collaboration ] , arxiv : astro - ph/0507334 .
b. fick _ et al .
_ submitted to _
journal of instrumentation _ ( jinst ) .
p. sommers , astropart .
phys . * 3 * , 349 ( 1995 ) .
b. fick [ pierre auger collaboration ] , arxiv : astro - ph/0308512 . b. r. dawson , h. y. dai , p. sommers and s. yoshida , astropart . phys . * 5 * , 239 ( 1996 ) . t. k. gaisser and a. m. hillas , _ proceedings of the 15th international cosmic ray conference * 8 * ( 1977 ) 353 . _
j. a. bellido [ pierre auger collaboration ] , arxiv : astro - ph/0508389 .
x. bertou [ pierre auger collaboration ] , arxiv : astro - ph/0508466 . j. matthews [ pierre auger collaboration ] , fermilab - conf-05 - 276-e - td _ proceedings of the 29th international cosmic ray conference * 7 * ( 2005 ) 283 .
_ p. m. mantsch [ pierre auger collaboration ] , arxiv : astro - ph/0604114 .
p. sommers [ pierre auger collaboration ] , arxiv : astro - ph/0507150 .
j. abraham _ et al . _
[ pierre auger collaboration ] , arxiv : astro - ph/0607382 . submitted to astropart . phys . | arxiv |
BAWA contacts
Classifieds Last Meeting
We had a very informative and enjoyable meeting. First up was our own Jamie Buxton to give us a Tech Talk on how to construct a torsion box. "What's that?" you say. It is a box of any size, which is lightweight, stiff and very flat. It can be used as a bench top, a door, a bed platform, wide span shelving, large table etc. It is made with two outer skins with a cell like spacer structure in between. The skins can be plywood or MDF although plywood is lighter. The spacers are 1/8" plywood on edge (to your required height) with slots cut to just above the half height and every 2". They are then "slotted" together with spacers running lengthwise and another set at 90 degrees to form square cells. This arrangement is then glued with yellow glue to the bottom skin. The slots or spacer arrangement does not have to be perfect since everything is tied together by the skins. Jamie has an ingenious way of then correcting any warp that is in the box before the top skin is glued on. Solid lumber then can be used for the edging. Jamie has an excellent handout which explains the whole process and will be in our Library. See our Librarian Mike Cooper or look here.
Richard Winslow showed a pair of Walnut tall candlesticks. He got the elaborate design from some antique candlesticks which are in a museum in London. He said that making a matching set of something this elaborate was quite a challenge but he was able to match the dimensions by eye quite accurately.
Old and New Business
Robbie Fanning showed us the new BAWA Membership brochure that she has developed. Craig brought up the subject of the Holiday Party. December is a hectic month. In addition, possible members that show interest at the San Mateo Wood Show in November then really don't have a meeting to go to other than the November one followed by a January meeting. Many then lose interest. There was some very lively discussion with a final vote taken. The members opted for having some sort of celebration earlier in the year. More details to come. Paul Reif and others talked about the Rebuilding Together project where a house in the Hunters Point area of San Francisco was being converted to educational purposes. People doing various repair work were literally on top of each other doing nailing, painting and sawing. Everybody survived with all 10 fingers to best of their knowledge.
Craig introduced 2 guests who found us on the web. Brian Harringtom did woodworking with his grandfather. He now has his own commercial 1-person wood shop. Fred Reicher also found us on the web. Fred is new to woodworking and has some tools and is eager to get started. Welcome to both Brian & Fred. Bud Ruby talked about being able to find Bessey and other types of clamps through www.coastaltool.com at a much cheaper price then all the other usual sources.
Main Presentation
The main speaker for the evening was Jeff Traeger who gave us an excellent presentation on Rebuilding Old Stationary Power Tools. He started his slide presentation by showing us that he is in fact a woodworker. There was a "left-handed" workbench followed by a series of boxes, sushi trays, cutting boards, and some 4-story houses for pets that an architect designed for a charity auction. Each had around 600 mortises and the cost was about $2000. He then showed a series of tools that he rebuilt showing their original rusted state and their shining refinished state. It is impossible to describe them all here but he had done a 12" Parks planer, Wells & Davis horizontal boring machine, 24" Delta scroll saw, shapers, band saws and many more. Their ages were from the 1930's to the 1950's. He had interesting stories about many of the machines and how he acquired them. Some were very complicated such as the 12" Parks planer with a 5 HP motor and weighed 300 lbs and had a transmission. This was his first serious project. He studied the plans for months before tackling the machine. He has learned the history of many of the companies with their numerous name changes as one company would buy out another. He then showed the very simple tools that he uses such as a single-edge razor blade, 4½" grinder, wire wheel, brass brushes, Jasco Paint & Epoxy Remover, and Rustoleum spray paint. Sometimes he has to use sand-blasting equipment or the services of a machine shop.
The secret is to have a lot of patience, scour the Internet looking for parts (that may come out of a barn in Iowa), try to get the parts manual and a lot of "elbow grease." Take photos at each disassembly step. He left us with a handout of web sites related to old woodworking equipment (now available in our library). A very satisfying evening although I left wishing that I had the knowledge, time and fortitude to do something like this. Thank you Jeff.
Door prize and Auction
The meeting was running late but before we were thrown out by HÄFELE, Stan had Jeff draw the winning Door Prize tickets for a Gift Certificate from Japan Woodworker and a Book Matched set of ¼ or 3/8 Figured Maple boards. Unfortunately, my notes are blank as to who won these items.
There were two items in the Silent Auction. The 2 finger planes without irons from the Czyzowsky's went unclaimed and the Portable Wood Planer from Jamie Buxton won with a $30 bid from yours truly. Stan reminded us of the raffle for the Zebra Wood is still going on.
A big "thank you" to HÄFELE for putting up with us into the night. | slim_pajama |
We cater for all types of players from those wishing to play competitive table tennis to those who are just starting to explore the delights of Table Tennis. Visitors and new members are always welcome.
We are open every night of the week from 19:30 until 23:00 except Sundays. We have a maximum of 9 tables but this is usually limited to 7 tables during the week due to prearranged League matches being played alongside practice table bookings. We always have a minimum of 3 tables available for practice bookings.
Friday and Saturday nights are club nights with reduced playing fees.
Social Table Tennis sessions are held during the day on every weekday details are here.
Coaching sessions are held at weekends and there are junior after school sessions. Details are here. | slim_pajama |
psoriasis is an autoimmune skin disease and its genetic and environmental factors play a significant role in its manifestations . though psoriasis mostly affects the skin in its clinical presentations , due to the role of autoimmune mechanisms in its pathogenesis and the presence of other co - morbidities in its clinical process , it is regarded as a systemic disease .
scalp , elbows , knees , umbilicus , genitalia , sacrum , and shins are the most common places involved and usually presents with pruritus , inflammation , scaling and plaques in a wide size range .
disease activity fluctuates spontaneously over a variable timescale of months or years but is usually associated with multiple organ involvements and co - morbidities .
the association between psoriasis and cardiovascular co - morbidities , metabolic syndrome , skeletal diseases such as psoriatic arthritis and malignancies is found in some studies .
the metabolic syndrome defined as abdominal obesity , increased insulin resistance / elevated fasting glucose level , decreased high - density lipoprotein cholesterol , hypertriglyceridemia , and hypertension is one of the cardiovascular co - morbidities that has been proposed to be associated with psoriasis .
it is shown that patients with psoriasis have an increased risk of developing cardiovascular diseases and metabolic syndrome in comparison to nonpsoriatic patients.[57 ] on the other hand , hypertension , dyslipidemia , insulin resistance / diabetes mellitus , and obesity are independently related to psoriasis other than as components of the metabolic syndrome.[812 ] in addition to cardiovascular co - morbidities , it is shown that psoriatic patients are at increased risk of developing some cardiovascular disease such as chronic inflammation and atherosclerosis , myocardial infarction , and stroke .
the association between psoriasis and these co - morbidities has been reviewed in several studies , but still it remains one of the most interesting field of study in psoriasis , because of the controversial results obtained from different studies and also due to the importance of performing screening tests in these patients .
this study was performed to explore the prevalence of diabetes mellitus and hypertension the two major criteria of the metabolic syndrome in psoriatic patients .
between april 2008 and may 2010 , a total of 304 psoriatic and 300 nonpsoriatic patients were enrolled in this cross - sectional study . informed written consent
was obtained from all patients in accordance with the ethical guidelines of the 1975 declaration of helsinki and the local ethics committees approved the study .
all the patients were examined by one dermatologist at the razi hospital of dermatology a referral hospital of dermatology in tehran , iran . written informed consent was obtained from all patients .
data were obtained on age , sex , weight , heights , etc ; documented medical history of diabetes mellitus and hypertension ; family history of diabetes mellitus ; and hypertension in first relatives , history of smoking .
patients with documented medical history of diabetes or fasting blood glucose 126 were mentioned as diabetes and patients with documented medical history of hypertension or blood pressure 140/90 mmhg were mentioned as hypertensive patients .
body mass index ( bmi ) was calculated and obesity was defined as bmi 30 .
the exclusion criteria were bmi 35 or age fewer than 10 or over 80 years .
numerical data were evaluated using analysis of variance , followed by tukey 's post - hoc test . the p value < 0.05 was considered as significant .
numerical data were evaluated using analysis of variance , followed by tukey 's post - hoc test . the p value < 0.05 was considered as significant .
numerical data were evaluated using analysis of variance , followed by tukey 's post - hoc test . the p value < 0.05 was considered as significant .
demographic data of patients within the psoriatic group , 79.3% of patients present with plaque type of the disease and 20.7% present with other types .
the results showed that within psoriatic patients , the prevalence of diabetes in women is significantly higher than men ( p=0.004 ) , the prevalence of diabetes in women is 1.93 times higher than men ( or=1.93 , ci95% : 1.1 to 3.6 ) but this difference is not present in nonpsoriatic patients .
the results also showed that the prevalence of diabetes in psoriatic patients is significantly higher than nonpsoriatic patients ( p=0.015 ) . according to the results ,
the risk of diabetes in psoriatic patients is 1.76 times higher than the other group ( or=1.76 , ci95% : 1.11 to 2.8 ) .
prevalence of hypertension within groups was not different between males and females but the psoriatic patients had higher prevalence of hypertension in comparison to nonpsoriatic patients , where the difference was statistically significant [ table 2 ] .
the data showed that psoriatic patients are at 2.2 times higher risk for developing hypertension than nonpsoriatic patients ( or=2.2 , ci95% : 1.2 to 4.6 , p=0.003 ) . indeed , according to the results there was no difference in family history of patients of two groups in diabetes or hypertension .
differences of diabetes and hypertension prevalence between patients of groups among 304 psoriatic patients , 62 of them were smokers but just 17 of 300 nonpsoriatic patients were smokers .
although smoking rate within psoriatic patients was higher than the other group the difference was not significant .
genetic and environmental factors play a significant role in the clinical manifestations of psoriasis that is known as an autoimmune skin disease . a higher risk of diabetes mellitus , insulin resistance , hypertension , metabolic syndrome , and myocardial infarction especially in young patients with severe psoriasis has been reported.[1520 ] major factors that may contribute to this increased cardiovascular and metabolic risk include cigarette smoking , dyslipidaemia , obesity , physical inactivity , hyperhomocysteinaemia , and psychological stress , all of which have a higher occurrence among patients with psoriasis.[2125 ] in the current study , the association between psoriasis and cardiovascular disease and diabetes mellitus was explored and the data demonstrated that psoriasis is associated with hypertension and diabetes mellitus and showed that the prevalence of diabetes mellitus and hypertension in psoriasis patients is higher than in nonpsoriatic patients .
previous studies showed that psoriasis is a risk factor for cardiovascular disease and diabetes mellitus.[791620 ] it is possible that psoriasis and diabetes mellitus share a same mechanism that is inflammation .
it is shown that inflammation and inflammatory responses are risk factors for developing diabetes mellitus , atherosclerosis , cardiovascular disease , and some other diseases .
we also found that prevalence of dm in women is higher than men among psoriatic patients .
thus it may be be concluded that psoriasis is a risk or for fact dm especially in women , the results were also found in other studies .
in contrast , there are some studies that are in conflict . for example , neimann et al . , failed to find a relation between psoriasis and hypertension .
study that no association was found between psoriasis and hypertension . taken together , these observations further support the opinion that there is an association between hypertension and dm with psoriasis .
the diversity in results reflects the need for more studies to find the real impact of psoriasis on hypertension , diabetes and other related diseases .
psoriatic patients have an increased risk of the developing metabolic syndrome and hypertension in comparison to nonpsoriatic patients .
although metabolic syndrome leads to cardiovascular disease , psoriasis might be an independent risk factor for hypertension and cardiovascular disease even after correction for metabolic syndrome components . | pubmed |
thoracic radiotherapy ( rt ) is the standard treatment for patients with unresectable lung cancer .
however , thoracic rt is commonly accompanied by development of radiation pneumonitis ( rp ) , with reported incidence rates ranging from 15% to 45% [ 1 - 8 ] . because rp is a major sequela of thoracic rt that can influence the clinical course of the patients with lung cancer ,
many investigators have reported predictive factors for rp [ 3 - 5,8 - 10 ] .
however , most of these studies analyzed patient groups treated with three - dimensional conformal rt ( 3d - crt ) or linac - based intensity - modulated radiotherapy ( imrt ) .
helical tomotherapy ( ht ) , one of the newest conformal rt modalities , employs helical imrt in which a gantry 6-mv linear accelerator rotates continuously through 360 around the patient using tens of thousands of narrow beamlets , and provides an integrated megavoltage computed tomography ( ct ) unit that permits real - time verification of patient set - up .
ht planning has many advantages , including a more conformal dose distribution and decreasing radiation dose to normal structures in lung cancer [ 12 - 14 ] . on the other hand , because of the helical radiation delivery method , low - dose shower is of concern in ht .
therefore , predictive factors for rp after thoracic ht may differ from those after 3d - crt or linac - based imrt . however , few studies have reported such factors . in this study
, we identified the predictive factors for rp in lung cancer patients treated with ht .
patient eligibility criteria included : 1 ) presence of pathologically confirmed inoperable primary lung cancer ; 2 ) receipt of ht with or without chemotherapy ; 3 ) receipt of a total dose of 45 gy ; 4 ) no prior thoracic irradiation ; 5 ) no prior thoracic cancer ; 6 ) no other simultaneous malignancies ; 7 ) available follow - up data . from january 2008 to may 2012
, 34 patients with primary lung cancer received ht at our hospital because of advanced tumor stage or medical inoperability .
of those patients , 31 patients met the eligibility criteria and were included in this study .
each patient had basic laboratory studies , pulmonary function test , chest x - ray , chest ct , magnetic resonance imaging of the brain , and most patients had whole - body positron emission tomography ( pet ) .
the clinical tnm stages were determined according to the american joint committee on cancer ( ajcc ) tnm staging system ( 7th edition ) .
for all patients , hospital records , laboratory results , and imaging studies were reviewed .
all patients underwent ct simulation in the supine position with arms above their head after immobilization with posterior vacuum bags and anterior vacuum - sealed cover sheets ( bodyfix , medical intelligence medizintechnik gmbh , schwabmnchen , germany ) . to reduce movement of the lung by respiration ,
all patients were asked to take shallow breaths . in all patients , intravenous contrast agents were administered , and axial ct images ( 3-mm slice thickness ) were obtained from above the upper neck through the diaphragm .
the simulation ct data were transferred to a hiart planning station ( tomotherapy incorp . ,
the gross tumor volume ( gtv ) encompassed all detectable tumors and involved lymph nodes determined from chest ct and pet information .
the clinical target volume ( ctv ) included the gtv plus 6 - 8 mm margin , and the planning target volume ( ptv ) was created by adding 8 - 15 mm margin to the ctv taking into account of target movement by respiration .
the ipsilateral and contralateral lungs ( cls ) were delineated separately to attempt to keep the dose to the cl as low as possible .
the prescription dose was decided by the physician 's own judgment according to tumor size and patients ' general condition .
a daily dose of 1.8 to 2.5 gy was delivered at five fractions per week to deliver a total dose of 48.4 to 70.4 gy . most prescribed dose fractionation schedules were a total dose of 63 to 66 gy with daily dose of 2.1 to 2.2 gy .
of the whole patients , 17 patients ( 54.8% ) were prescribed those fractionation schedules .
each treatment plan was evaluated with a cumulative dose - volume histogram . in general , plans were considered acceptable if the ptv was covered by 95% of isodose curves , inhomogeneity of the ptv ranged from 95% to 107% , and doses to normal organs were limited in their tolerances .
dose tolerances for normal structures were as follows : total lung ( tl ) v20<40% , mean lung dose ( mld)<20 gy , maximum dose to spinal cord<45 gy , heart v40<50% , and esophagus v55<30% .
planning objectives were prioritized to give the greatest importance to achieving coverage of the ptv and avoiding spinal cord and normal lung , with trying to keep radiation doses in the normal structures as low as possible .
follow - up visits were scheduled at 1 month after completion of rt and every 2 - 3 months thereafter .
visits were more frequent for those who experienced treatment - related complications . at the time of follow - up visits , basic laboratory studies , chest x - ray , and chest ct scans were taken . when needed , pet was also taken .
rp was diagnosed by clinical symptoms along with the characteristic imaging findings , and scored according to the common terminology criteria for adverse events ( ctcae ) 4.0 .
because rp could initially present during treatment , the time to rp was calculated from the date of rt start . in this study , grade2 rp was defined as a rp event . the kaplan - meier method was used to compute the actuarial incidence of rp .
the correlation of the development of rp event with potential predictive factors was determined using the log - rank test .
parameters evaluated as potential predictive factors for rp event were : age , gender , the eastern cooperative oncology group ( ecog ) performance status , smoking history , underlying disease , tumor histology , tumor location , ajcc stage , rt total dose , monitor unit , ptv , number of targets , chemotherapy , and several dosimetric parameters ( ipsilateral and contralateral mld , v5 - 30 in the increment of 5 gy ) . for multivariate analysis ,
receiver - operating characteristic ( roc ) curves were generated to define the cutoff values for significant parameters .
patient eligibility criteria included : 1 ) presence of pathologically confirmed inoperable primary lung cancer ; 2 ) receipt of ht with or without chemotherapy ; 3 ) receipt of a total dose of 45 gy ; 4 ) no prior thoracic irradiation ; 5 ) no prior thoracic cancer ; 6 ) no other simultaneous malignancies ; 7 ) available follow - up data . from january 2008 to may 2012
, 34 patients with primary lung cancer received ht at our hospital because of advanced tumor stage or medical inoperability .
of those patients , 31 patients met the eligibility criteria and were included in this study .
each patient had basic laboratory studies , pulmonary function test , chest x - ray , chest ct , magnetic resonance imaging of the brain , and most patients had whole - body positron emission tomography ( pet ) .
the clinical tnm stages were determined according to the american joint committee on cancer ( ajcc ) tnm staging system ( 7th edition ) .
for all patients , hospital records , laboratory results , and imaging studies were reviewed .
all patients underwent ct simulation in the supine position with arms above their head after immobilization with posterior vacuum bags and anterior vacuum - sealed cover sheets ( bodyfix , medical intelligence medizintechnik gmbh , schwabmnchen , germany ) . to reduce movement of the lung by respiration , all patients were asked to take shallow breaths . in all patients , intravenous contrast agents were administered , and axial ct images ( 3-mm slice thickness ) were obtained from above the upper neck through the diaphragm .
the simulation ct data were transferred to a hiart planning station ( tomotherapy incorp . ,
the gross tumor volume ( gtv ) encompassed all detectable tumors and involved lymph nodes determined from chest ct and pet information .
the clinical target volume ( ctv ) included the gtv plus 6 - 8 mm margin , and the planning target volume ( ptv ) was created by adding 8 - 15 mm margin to the ctv taking into account of target movement by respiration .
the ipsilateral and contralateral lungs ( cls ) were delineated separately to attempt to keep the dose to the cl as low as possible .
the prescription dose was decided by the physician 's own judgment according to tumor size and patients ' general condition .
a daily dose of 1.8 to 2.5 gy was delivered at five fractions per week to deliver a total dose of 48.4 to 70.4 gy . most prescribed dose fractionation schedules were a total dose of 63 to 66 gy with daily dose of 2.1 to 2.2 gy . of the whole patients , 17 patients ( 54.8% ) were prescribed those fractionation schedules .
each treatment plan was evaluated with a cumulative dose - volume histogram . in general , plans were considered acceptable if the ptv was covered by 95% of isodose curves , inhomogeneity of the ptv ranged from 95% to 107% , and doses to normal organs were limited in their tolerances .
dose tolerances for normal structures were as follows : total lung ( tl ) v20<40% , mean lung dose ( mld)<20 gy , maximum dose to spinal cord<45 gy , heart v40<50% , and esophagus v55<30% .
planning objectives were prioritized to give the greatest importance to achieving coverage of the ptv and avoiding spinal cord and normal lung , with trying to keep radiation doses in the normal structures as low as possible .
follow - up visits were scheduled at 1 month after completion of rt and every 2 - 3 months thereafter .
visits were more frequent for those who experienced treatment - related complications . at the time of follow - up visits , basic laboratory studies , chest x - ray , and chest ct scans were taken . when needed , pet was also taken .
rp was diagnosed by clinical symptoms along with the characteristic imaging findings , and scored according to the common terminology criteria for adverse events ( ctcae ) 4.0 .
because rp could initially present during treatment , the time to rp was calculated from the date of rt start . in this study , grade2 rp was defined as a rp event .
the correlation of the development of rp event with potential predictive factors was determined using the log - rank test .
parameters evaluated as potential predictive factors for rp event were : age , gender , the eastern cooperative oncology group ( ecog ) performance status , smoking history , underlying disease , tumor histology , tumor location , ajcc stage , rt total dose , monitor unit , ptv , number of targets , chemotherapy , and several dosimetric parameters ( ipsilateral and contralateral mld , v5 - 30 in the increment of 5 gy ) . for multivariate analysis ,
the cox proportional regression hazard model was used . receiver - operating characteristic ( roc )
ecog performance status was 0 in one patient ( 3.1% ) , 1 in 14 patients ( 45.2% ) , 2 in 14 patients ( 45.2% ) , and 3 in two patients ( 6.5% ) .
nine patients ( 29.0% ) had underlying chronic obstructive pulmonary disease , three patients ( 9.7% ) had cerebrovascular disease , and two patients ( 6.5% ) had ischemic heart disease .
eleven patients ( 35.4% ) had squamous cell carcinoma , eight patients ( 25.8% ) had adenocarcinoma , five patients ( 16.1% ) had small cell carcinoma , two patients ( 6.6% ) had neuroendocrine carcinoma , and five patients ( 16.1% ) had non - small cell lung cancer ( not confirmed specific histology ) .
ajcc clinical stage was i in five patients ( 16.1% ) , ii in six patients ( 19.4% ) , iii in 19 patients ( 61.3% ) , and iv in one patient ( 3.2% ) .
chemotherapy was implemented in 18 patients : concurrent chemotherapy in 12 patients , induction chemotherapy in three patients , and adjuvant chemotherapy in three patients .
the median follow - up period was 6.6 months ( range , 1.6 to 38.5 months ) . during the follow - up period , all patients experienced rp .
grade 1 rp developed in 12 patients ( 38.7% ) , grade 2 in 17 patients ( 54.8% ) , and grade 3 in two patients ( 6.5% ) .
the median duration from the date of rt start to the development of rp event was 10.7 weeks ( range , 3.0 to 20.9 weeks ) .
the 2- , 4- , and 6-month actuarial rp event rates were 13.2% , 58.5% , and 67.0% , respectively ( fig .
none of the clinical and treatment - related factors were associated with the incidence of rp event on univariate and multivariate analysis ( table 2 ) . of the dosimetric parameters , ipsilateral lung ( il ) v5 ( p=0.002 ) ,
v10 ( p=0.002 ) , v15 ( p=0.005 ) , and cl v5 ( p=0.023 ) were significantly associated with rp event on univariate analysis .
on multivariate analysis , only il v10 remained a significant predictive factor for rp event ( hazard ratio , 4.612 ; 95% confidence interval , 1.604 to 13.263 ; p=0.003 ) ( tables 3 and 4 ) .
the cutoff value of il v10 , as analyzed by the roc curves , was 58.5% ( sensitivity , 78.9% ; specificity , 83.3% ) .
the cutoff values of parameters that were significantly associated with rp event on univariate analysis were also calculated by roc curves .
the cutoff values of il v5 , il v15 , and cl v5 were 67.5% ( sensitivity , 78.9% ; specificity , 75.0% ) , 50.0% ( sensitivity , 68.4% ; specificity , 66.7% ) , and 55.5% ( sensitivity , 63.2% ; specificity , 83.3% ) , respectively .
ecog performance status was 0 in one patient ( 3.1% ) , 1 in 14 patients ( 45.2% ) , 2 in 14 patients ( 45.2% ) , and 3 in two patients ( 6.5% ) .
nine patients ( 29.0% ) had underlying chronic obstructive pulmonary disease , three patients ( 9.7% ) had cerebrovascular disease , and two patients ( 6.5% ) had ischemic heart disease .
eleven patients ( 35.4% ) had squamous cell carcinoma , eight patients ( 25.8% ) had adenocarcinoma , five patients ( 16.1% ) had small cell carcinoma , two patients ( 6.6% ) had neuroendocrine carcinoma , and five patients ( 16.1% ) had non - small cell lung cancer ( not confirmed specific histology ) .
ajcc clinical stage was i in five patients ( 16.1% ) , ii in six patients ( 19.4% ) , iii in 19 patients ( 61.3% ) , and iv in one patient ( 3.2% ) .
chemotherapy was implemented in 18 patients : concurrent chemotherapy in 12 patients , induction chemotherapy in three patients , and adjuvant chemotherapy in three patients .
the median follow - up period was 6.6 months ( range , 1.6 to 38.5 months ) .
grade 1 rp developed in 12 patients ( 38.7% ) , grade 2 in 17 patients ( 54.8% ) , and grade 3 in two patients ( 6.5% ) .
the median duration from the date of rt start to the development of rp event was 10.7 weeks ( range , 3.0 to 20.9 weeks ) .
the 2- , 4- , and 6-month actuarial rp event rates were 13.2% , 58.5% , and 67.0% , respectively ( fig .
none of the clinical and treatment - related factors were associated with the incidence of rp event on univariate and multivariate analysis ( table 2 ) . of the dosimetric parameters , ipsilateral lung ( il ) v5 ( p=0.002 ) ,
v10 ( p=0.002 ) , v15 ( p=0.005 ) , and cl v5 ( p=0.023 ) were significantly associated with rp event on univariate analysis .
on multivariate analysis , only il v10 remained a significant predictive factor for rp event ( hazard ratio , 4.612 ; 95% confidence interval , 1.604 to 13.263 ; p=0.003 ) ( tables 3 and 4 ) .
the cutoff value of il v10 , as analyzed by the roc curves , was 58.5% ( sensitivity , 78.9% ; specificity , 83.3% ) .
the cutoff values of parameters that were significantly associated with rp event on univariate analysis were also calculated by roc curves .
the cutoff values of il v5 , il v15 , and cl v5 were 67.5% ( sensitivity , 78.9% ; specificity , 75.0% ) , 50.0% ( sensitivity , 68.4% ; specificity , 66.7% ) , and 55.5% ( sensitivity , 63.2% ; specificity , 83.3% ) , respectively .
because of the different scoring criteria for rp , heterogeneous patient population , heterogeneous tumor characteristics , different indications for adjuvant chemotherapy , different rt modalities and techniques , and various rt dose fractionation schedules , it is hard to compare the incidence and severity of rp among published studies .
recently , jiang et al . reported an rp incidence rate after retrospective review of 165 lung cancer cases treated by imrt with or without chemotherapy . in their study ,
grade 1 rp developed in 41% , grade 2 in 24% , grade 3 in 12% , and grade 5 in 1% of cases .
the 6- and 12-month actuarial grade3 rp rates were 11% and 14% , respectively . in our study ,
grade 1 rp developed in 12 patients ( 38.7% ) , grade 2 in 17 patients ( 54.8% ) , and grade 3 in two patients ( 6.5% ) .
the 2-month actuarial rp event rates were 13.2% , 4-month was 58.5% , and 6-month was 67.0% .
the results of our study are similar to those of song et al . who retrospectively analyzed data from 37 patients with lung cancer .
in their study , as in ours , all patients were treated by ht with or without chemotherapy .
the crude rate of grade 1 rp was 32% , grade 2 was 51% , and grade 3 was 8% .
however , in our study , unlike that of song et al . , the ctcae 4.0 was used to score the severity of rp .
the ctcae 4.0 includes more specific descriptors for the various grades of pulmonary toxicity , making it easier to distinguish between grades 2 , 3 , and 4 pnuemonitis .
several studies have reported predictive factors for rp , but most were retrospective , and their results were inconsistent [ 3,5,6,8,9,15,18 - 25 ] .
moreover , most of these studies analyzed the patient group treated with 3d - crt or linac - based imrt . because almost the entire lung is exposed to a low dose of radiation when treated with ht , predictive factors for rp after ht may differ from those after 3d - crt or linac - based imrt . to our knowledge
, there has only been one published study on the predictive factors for rp after thoracic ht .
included 37 patients with lung cancer who were treated with ht in their analysis and reported that ecog performance status , tumor location , tl dosimetric parameters ( mld , v5 , v10 , v13 ) , il dosimetric parameters ( mld , v5 , v10 , v13 , v15 , v20 ) , and cl dosimetric parameters ( mld , v5 , v10 , v13 ) were significantly associated with grade 3 rp on univariate analysis .
cl v5 was the only significant independent predictive factor for development of grade 3 rp . in our study , il v5 , il v10 , il v15 , and cl v5
on multivariate analysis , only il v10 remained a significant predictive factor for development of grade 2 rp ( table 5 ) . in our study , there were some inconsistent findings compared with song et al .
clinical factors such as performance status and tumor location were not associated with development of rp , and il v10 were significant predictive factor for rp on multivariate analysis .
in contrast to other research that analyzed lung cancer groups treated with 3d - crt or linac - based imrt , song et al .
's study and ours reported cl v5 was a significant predictive factor for rp after thoracic ht . because of the helical radiation delivery method in ht and consequent low - dose exposure of almost the entire cl , cl v5 is believed to be an important predictive factor for rp after thoracic ht . therefore , to reduce the development of rp after ht in lung cancer , dose restriction for the cl might be important .
, we propose that cl v5 should be kept lower than 55.5% to reduce the development of rp after ht in patients with lung cancer . there were some limitations in this study .
for example , rt dose fractionation schedules were decided according to the attending physician 's discretion rather than a predetermined protocol .
in addition , because of incomplete patient medical records , we could not analyze some potential predictive factors for rp , such as tl dosimetric parameters .
third , the patient and tumor characteristics were heterogeneous . despite these limitations , we believe that our study contributes to the identification of predictive factors for rp after ht in patients with lung cancer .
in our study , after ht for management of lung cancer , grade 1 rp developed in 38.7% , grade 2 in 54.8% , and grade 3 in 6.5% of all patients . there was no grade 4 or more rp .
il v5 , v10 , v15 , and cl v5 were significantly associated with rp , and the cutoff values were 67.5% , 58.5% , 50.0% , and 55.5% , respectively . | pubmed |
How does the tautological one-form convert a velocity to a momentum?
The [Wikipedia page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tautological_one-form) on the "tautological one-form" $\theta$ says that it
>
> is used to create a correspondence between the velocity of a point in a mechanical system and its momentum, thus providing a bridge between Lagrangian mechanics and Hamiltonian mechanics
>
>
>
and that
>
> velocities are appropriate for the Lagrangian formulation of classical mechanics, but in the Hamiltonian formulation, one works with momenta, and not velocities; the tautological one-form is a device that converts velocities $\dot{q}$ into momenta $p$.
>
>
>
I certainly understand why this device is physically useful, but unfortunately, the Wikipedia doesn't explicitly explain how $\theta$ maps $\dot{q}$ to $p$.
In order to make sure that I understand the tautological one-form correctly, I'd like to explain it in very concrete detail with a minimum of mathematical formalism; if anything below is incorrect, then please let me know. As I understand it, $\theta$ is constructed via the following steps:
1. We start with the configuration space, which is represented by an $n$-dimensional smooth manifold $Q$. The velocities $v := \dot{q}$ live in the tangent space $TQ$.
2. The cotangent bundle $T^\*Q$ is a $2n$-dimensional smooth manifold that can (loosely) be thought of as the set of all ordered pairs $(q, p|\_q)$, where $q \in Q$ and $p|\_q$ is a one-form that linearly maps the tangent space $T\_qQ$ at the point $q$ to $\mathbb{R}$.
3. $q$ and $p|\_q$ both have $n$ degrees of freedom, so the cotangent space $T^\*Q$ is a $2n$-dimensional smooth manifold. It can therefore be locally parameterized by local coordinate charts $(U \subset T^\*Q) \to \mathbb{R}^{2n}$, which we can split up into $2n$ different coordinate charts $(U \subset T^\*Q) \to \mathbb{R}$ that we'll call $q^i,\ i = 1, \dots, n$ and $p\_j,\ j = 1, \dots, n$, where we've [used](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canonical_coordinates#Definition_on_cotangent_bundles) the cotangent bundle geometry to distinguish the $q^i$ from the $p\_j$. Specifically, we separate the coordinate charts such that the $n$ charts $q^i$ only depend nontrivially on the first argument $q$ in each $(q,p|\_q) \in T^\*Q$, while the other $n$ coordinate charts $p\_j$ can depend nontrivially on both $q$ and $p|\_q$. These are just coordinate charts $(U \subset T^\*Q) \to \mathbb{R}$, not vectors or one-forms or tensors of any kind.
4. Fix an ordered pair $m = (q, p|\_q) \in T^\*Q$, where $q \in Q$ and $p|\_q \in T^\*\_q$ map to a fixed set of $2n$ real numbers $q^i(m)$ and $p\_i(m)$.
5. The tautological one-form corresponding to the element $m \in T^\*Q$ is the fixed linear functional
$$\theta\_m := \sum\_{i=1}^n p\_i(m)\ dq^i(m).$$
Despite the notation, the sum on $i$ is not a tensor contraction, but just a plain old sum.
If we now let $m$ vary over $T^\*Q$, then we get a one-form
$$\theta \in T^\*T^\*Q := \{(m, \theta\_m) | m \in T^\*Q\}$$
over the whole cotangent bundle manifold $T^\*Q$.
For a given $i$, $q^i$ is a real-valued function of (an open subset of) the $2n$-dimensional cotangent bundle smooth manifold $T^\*Q$. The one-form $\theta$ over $T^\*Q$ is therefore technically $2n$-dimensional. But as mentioned above, we used the contangent-bundle structure of $T^\*Q$ to separate out the coordinate charts $q^i$ and $p\_i$ so that the $n$ functions $q^i$ only depend nontrivially on the $q \in Q$ in the element $(q, p|\_q) \in T^\*Q$. But each summand (with fixed $i$) in the definition of $\theta$ is a one-form that points along one of the coordinate basis directions $dq^i$, and none of the summands point along a $dp\_j$ direction. So while the linear functional $\theta\_m$ technically acts on a $2n$-dimensional space, it is only nonzero within the $n$-dimensional subspace spanned by the $dq^i$. The defining map $m \to \theta\_m$ technically maps the $2n$-dimensional cotangent bundle $T^\*Q$ to $T^\*\_mT^\*Q$, the $2n$-dimensional dual space spanned by the $dq^i$ and $dp\_j$. But the image of this map lies entirely with the $n$-dimensional dual subspace spanned by the $dq^i$, so without loss of generality we can restrict the target space down to that dual subspace and think of the defining map $m \to \theta\_m$ as a map from the $2n$-dimensional cotangent bundle $T^\*Q$ to the only $n$-dimensional dual space $T^\*\_mQ$.
Is everything above correct (or at least correct enough for a physics level of rigor)?
If so, I still don't see exactly what is the map from velocities $v \in TQ$ to momenta $p \in T^\*Q$. Given an explicit position $q \in Q$ and a list of coefficients $\dot{q}^i$ in the expansion $v = \dot{q}^i(v) \frac{\partial}{\partial q^i}$, how exactly do we use the tautological one-form $\theta$ to figure out the corresponding momentum $(q,p|\_q) \in T^\*Q$?
Your statements are correct for me. However your final claim is not true, you need to be careful which manifolds are being identified.
The identifying map it gives is between $T(T^\*M)$ and $T^\*(T^\*M)$. This is done by the symplectic structure. Taking the exterior derivative of the tautological one from, you get a two form on the cotangent bundle:
$$
\omega=d\theta
$$
The non degeneracy of $\omega$ induces at every $m\in T^\*M$ an isomorphism between $T\_m(T^\*M)$ and $T\_m^\*(T^\*M)$ given by:
$$
\alpha \in T\_m(T^\*M) \to \omega\_m(\alpha,\cdot)\in T\_m^\*(T^\*M)
$$
which extends to the entire manifolds $T(T^\*M)$ and $T^\*(T^\*M)$.
However, this does not give an identification from $TM$ to $T^\*M$. For this, you will need a Lagrangian (or conversely a Hamiltonian). Explicitly, given a Lagrangian $L$ defined on $TM$, its “partial derivative with respect to velocity” gives the map. Its inverse is constructed by constructing the Legendre transform of $L$, called the Hamiltonian, and taking the derivative with respect to conjugate momentum. Intuitively, you need to find a way to raise/lower the indices, which cannot be done only using the differential structure of $M$, you need something more.
Hope this helps.
| stackexchange/physics |
each year , malaria infects approximately 500 million people and kills one to two million people , mainly children below the age of five years . despite decades of research on the subject , naturally acquired immunity to plasmodium is still poorly understood [ 24 ] .
there are reports about the immunosuppressive effects of plasmodium infection in humans and in animal models .
it is believed that the initial interaction of the parasitised red blood cells with the host immune system is one of the most important factors in determining the nature of the subsequent innate and acquired response , and in determining whether or not severe pathology , such as cerebral malaria , severe anaemia , or cachexia , results [ 79 ] . on the other hand ,
insecticidal proteinaceous crystals called cry proteins are produced as protoxins by bacillus thuringiensis ( bt ) during sporulation . upon ingestion ,
crystalline protoxins are solubilised and proteolytically activated by midgut proteases of susceptible insects . the activated toxin , which is not toxic to vertebrates , binds to specific receptors on the brush - border membrane surface of the midgut epithelium of the insect , inducing the formation of pores and eventually leading to insect mortality . in particular
, cry1ac is a pore - forming protein that is specifically toxic to lepidopteran insect larvae and acts by binding to the cell - surface receptor aminopeptidase n in the manduca sexta midgut via the sugar n - acetyl - d - galactosamine ( galnac ) [ 11 , 12 ] .
although most studies on cry proteins have been performed with regard to their toxicity in insects , we have described that recombinant cry1ac protoxin from bacillus thuringiensis is a potent mucosal and systemic immunogen with adjuvant properties [ 13 , 14 ] .
in addition , we have shown that recombinant cry1a toxins possess the ability to induce serum and mucosal specific antibody responses as well as to modulate igg subclasses due to their strong immunogenic properties [ 14 , 15 ] .
furthermore , it has been demonstrated that cry proteins from b. thuringiensis can induce strong cellular immune responses .
in particular , we have described that these toxins are able to promote ifn- responses . in malaria infections , an initial ifn- response , mainly produced by nk cells ,
is implicated in the activation of macrophages , which leads to parasite elimination [ 17 , 18 ] . in a previous study , we found that administration of the immunogenic protein with adjuvant properties , cry1ac protoxin alone or with amoebic lysates , markedly increased protective immunity against experimental n. fowleri meningoencephalitis in mice . in this work
so we tested whether the pretreatment with the protein alone improved the resistance of mice to plasmodium chabaudi as and p. berghei anka experimental infections .
the mice were bred , fed , and maintained in a specific , pathogen - free environment at the fes zaragoza , universidad nacional autnoma de mxico animal house facility in accordance with the institutional and national official guideline nom-062-zoo-1999 for use and care of laboratory animals .
batches of 6 to 8 sex- and age - matched ( 68 weeks ) cba / ca mice were treated weekly with cry1ac protoxin ( 5 g / mouse i.p . ) or with vehicle ( pbs ) during four weeks .
one day after the last treatment , mice were inoculated intravenously with either 5 10 p. chabaudi as- or 5 10 p. berghei anka - parasitised erythrocytes . on the days indicated , mice were sacrificed under ether anaesthesia . as controls , a parallel batch of noninfected mice was divided into two groups and treated with pbs or cry1ac at the same dose .
numeration of the parasitaemia was performed under oil , using a zeiss standard 20 microscope ( carl zeiss ltd .
parasitaemias of 0.5% and above were determined by counting the number of parasitised erythrocytes present in a total of 200 red blood cells .
lower levels of parasitaemia were assessed by counting the number of parasitised erythrocytes present in 50 fields .
the course of infection in each group is shown as the geometric mean of the percentage of parasitaemia .
the recombinant cry1ac e. coli jm103 ( pos9300 ) strain was kindly donated by dr .
the bacteria were grown in luria - bertani medium containing 50 g / ml of ampicillin , and cry1ac production was induced with 1 mm isopropyl--d - thiogalactopyranoside ( iptg ) .
recombinant cry1ac was purified from the iptg - induced e. coli jm103 ( pos9300 ) cultures as follows .
cell pellets harvested by centrifugation were suspended in 50 mm tris - hcl , 50 mm edta ( ph 8) ( te buffer ) and sonicated ( fisher sonic dismembrator model 300 ) three times for 5 minutes on ice .
inclusion bodies were collected by centrifugation at 10 000 g for 10 minutes , and pellets were washed twice with te buffer , twice with 0.5 m nacl , and once with 0.5 m / nacl-1% triton x-100 , once with 0.5 m nacl , once with cold distilled water and were finally solubilised in cbp buffer ( 0.1 m na2co3 , 1% 2-mercaptoethanol [ ph 9.6 ] ) .
particulate material was discarded by centrifugation at 10 000 g for 10 min , and the purified solubilised protoxin was stored at 4c and examined by sodium dodecyl sulphate - polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis ( sds - page ) .
the presence of endotoxin contamination in the cry1ac protoxin preparations was tested using the e - toxate , part 1 kit ( sigma ) , which has a sensitivity limit of 0.050.1 endotoxin units ( eu)/ml , following the manufacturer 's instructions .
endotoxin levels in the purified cry1ac protoxin preparations were below 0.1 eu / ml . these preparations were further treated with an excess of a polymyxin b resin ( bio - rad , hercules ca , usa ) to remove any possible remnants of endotoxin .
groups of cba / ca mice were treated weekly with cry1ac protoxin or with pbs for four weeks .
twenty - four hours after the last inoculation , mice were infected with either p. chabaudi as or p. berghei anka . on the days
indicated , three mice of each group were sacrificed under ether anaesthesia , and spleen mrna was extracted using trizol ( invitrogen , carlsbad , ca , usa ) .
dna was digested with dnase i ( invitrogen ) according to the manufacturer 's instructions , and rna was quantified spectrophotometrically at 260 nm .
next , 1.5 g of rna were retrotranscribed using 1.5 g of oligo dt ( invitrogen ) , 0.5 mm dntps ( pharmacia , uppsala , sweden ) , 40 u rnase inhibitor , and 200 u mmlv - rt ( invitrogen ) . next ,
1 l of the resulting cdna was used to amplify ifn- and tgf- by pcr .
each set of primers as well as the cdna concentration was optimized for a number of cycles to obtain amplicons in the linear phase of amplification .
the following gene - specific primer sequences were used : ( ifn- ) forward : 5 tgc atc ttg gct ttg cag ctc ttc ctc atg gc 3 , reverse 5 tgg acc tgt ggg ttg ttg acc tca ttg gc 3 ;
ggc gta tca gtg ggg gtc ag 3 ; ( -actin ) forward 5 gtg ggc cgc tct agg cac caa 3 , reverse 5 ctc ttt gat gtc acg cac gat ttc 3. pcr reactions were performed in a total volume of 20 l .
amplification was carried out in 50 mm kcl , 10 mm tris - hcl ( ph 8.3 ) , 0.1 mg / ml gelatin , 200 mm of each dntp , 2 mm mgcl2 , 100 nm of each primer , 0.5 u ampli taq polymerase ( applied biosystems , branchburg , nj , usa ) , and 15 ng of cdna . the -actin gene and either ifn- or tgf-
after 2729 cycles , the pcr products were separated on 5% polyacrylamide gels and stained with ethidium bromide .
each band was analysed by densitometry , and the results are shown as the relation of the absorbance of the corresponding cytokine to that of -actin in the same sample .
immediately , blood from the heart was extracted and then centrifuged at 2000 g at 4c for 15 min .
the serum was removed and aliquoted into two tubes and snap frozen at 70c until used .
the levels of the cytokines interleukin-2 ( il-2 ) , interleukin-4 ( il-4 ) , interleukin-5 ( il-5 ) , interferon- ( ifn- ) , and tumour necrosis factor- ( tnf- ) in the serum samples were measured using a cytometric bead array performed according to the manufacturer 's instructions ( bd mouse th1/th2 cytokine cba kit biosciences - pharmingen , heidelberg , germany ) with the following modifications .
we performed all steps in microtubes , and we started the standard curve at a concentration of 0.625 pg / ml .
a lysate of prbc was used as the capture antigen ; it was prepared as follows .
p. chabaudi as- or p. berghei anka - infected mice ( 25% parasitaemia ) were bled into pbs - heparin at 4c to provide parasitised erythrocytes .
the blood was passed through a cf11 cellulose powder ( whatman , maidstone , uk ) column to remove leukocytes and then washed three times with pbs by centrifugation at 750 g for 15 min at 4c .
the final cell pellet was resuspended to 5 ml in pbs , and 3 l of 10% ( w / v ) saponin in pbs was added to lyse the erythrocyte membranes .
after centrifugation at 18,000 g for 5 min at 4c , the supernatant was removed , the pellets were resuspended to 3 ml in pbs , and the cells were lysed by ultrasonication for 3 seconds with 21% amplitude ( ultrasonic processor model ge750 , usa ) .
the protein concentration of the lysates was determined using a bio - rad commercial reagent , and the lysate was diluted in carbonate - buffered solution to give a coating concentration of 10 g / ml . a volume of 100 l / well was applied to flat - bottomed 96-well elisa plates ( corning usa ) .
first , the plates were washed with 0.05% ( v / v ) tween 20 in pbs , and then the excess binding sites were blocked using a solution of 3% skim milk in pbs for 2 hours at 37c .
the plates were then incubated with test sera in duplicate for 1 h at 37c and diluted to 1/20 in pbs .
plates were washed extensively before detection of parasite - specific abs using goat antimouse horseradish peroxidase - conjugated monoclonal abs ( mab ) specific to igg1 , igg2a , igg2b , igg3 , total igg , or igm ( zymed ,
san francisco california , usa ) diluted in 0.02% skim milk , 0.05% tween 20 in pbs to previously calibrated dilutions , which were applied to plates for 1 h at 37c .
plates were washed before incubation with a streptavidin peroxidase solution ( diluted 1 : 3000 in 0.05% tween 20 in pbs ) before the final wash .
plates were developed with ortho phenylenediamine at 0.4 mg / ml in citrate buffer ( ph 5 ) with 0.03% of hydrogen peroxide as a substrate and incubated in the dark at room temperature for 20 min .
absorbance was determined at 492 nm by measurement of optical density ( od ) using a stat - fax 2100 microplate reader ( awareness technology inc , usa ) .
hence results were expressed directly as od 492 nm values and compared to an internal standard of normal cba mouse serum obtained from eight- to ten - week - old naive female mice .
differences between groups were tested for statistical significance by nonparametric analysis of variance ( kruskal - wallis ) . a p value < .05 was considered significant .
groups of cba / ca mice were injected once weekly for four weeks with cry1ac protoxin or pbs as described in the materials and methods .
one day after the last injection , mice were intravenously infected either with p. chabaudi as or with p. berghei anka .
mice treated with cry1ac protoxin prior to p. chabaudi as infection developed a moderate parasitaemia that increased from day 6 postinfection ( pi ) to reach a peak of 27% at day 10 pi .
in contrast , control mice treated with vehicle ( pbs ) developed higher parasitaemias from day 6 to 15 pi ( significantly ( p < .05 ) from days 8 to 11 pi ) compared to mice treated with cry1ac protoxin .
parasitaemia reached a peak of 40% at day 10 , and the parasite was completely cleared at day 16 pi , one day later than in the group of mice treated with cry1ac ( figure 1(a ) ) . in contrast , infection with p. berghei anka was lethal . in control cba / ca mice treated with vehicle ( pbs ) ,
parasitaemia increased from day 5 pi to reach a peak of 23% at day 8 pi .
there was a slight decrease in parasitaemia at day 9 , and then mice started to die on day 10 pi with parasitaemias around 20% , confirming the reported lethality of this strain [ 22 , 23 ] .
infected mice previously treated with the protoxin cry1ac developed lower levels of parasitaemia than pbs - treated mice from days 7 to 9 pi ; the number of parasites in their blood decreased on day 10 pi and then started to rise slowly .
half of this group of mice survived until day 20 pi with parasitaemias of approximately 40% ( figures 1(b ) and 2 ) . despite the fact that plasmodium chabaudi as is not considered to be lethal , infection with this parasite could be fatal for 10% to 20% of cba / ca mice .
interestingly , mice treated with cry1ac and infected with p. chabaudi as had a survival rate of 100% compared to mice treated with pbs , which had a survival rate of 80% . on the other hand , mice treated with cry1ac and infected with the lethal parasite p. berghei anka showed an increased survival of 12 days compared to control mice treated with pbs , which died at day 9 pi ( figure 2 ) .
rt - pcr analysis was performed to determine the levels of cytokine mrna expression in splenocytes from infected and uninfected mice .
cells were obtained at days 4 and 8 pi with p. berghei anka and at days 8 and 18 pi with p. chabaudi as .
the levels of cytokine mrna expression were normalised to -actin mrna levels , which was used as an internal standard .
moderate , constitutive mrna expression of ifn- and tgf- was detected in control mice receiving the vehicle , while in uninfected mice treated with cry1ac , similar levels of these cytokines were recorded ( figure 3 ) . in p.
berghei anka - infected mice that previously had been administered cry1ac protoxin , increased levels of ifn- mrna expression were detected at days 4 and 8 pi compared to infected mice receiving just the vehicle or uninfected mice . at day 4 pi , similar levels of tgf- were found in both infected groups ( slightly higher than those in uninfected mice ) .
in contrast , at day 8 pi , the levels of tgf- mrna were lower in mice pretreated with cry1ac protoxin than in those receiving just the vehicle ( figures 3(a ) and 3(c ) ) . in control mice infected with p. chabaudi as , the levels of ifn- mrna at days 8 and 18 pi were higher than those in mice pretreated with cry1ac protoxin , which exhibited ifn- levels akin to those in uninfected mice .
on the other hand , the mrna levels of tgf- recorded in p. chabaudi as - infected mice did not change significantly either by infection or by pretreatment with cry1ac protoxin .
the levels of cytokines ( ifn- and il-4 ) in serum samples were measured with a cytometric bead array .
samples were obtained at days 4 and 8 or 8 and 18 postinfection with p. berghei anka and p. chabaudi as , respectively .
the levels of ifn- were significantly increased at day 8 pi with p. berghei anka in mice pretreated with cry1ac , confirming the rt - pcr results . at day
4 postchallenge , the ifn- mrna levels recorded were low and akin to infected control mice , although they are greater than the levels in uninfected control mice . the levels of il-4 were also low and did not vary significantly as a result of infection with p. berghei anka or administration of cry1ac protein ( figure 4 ) .
in contrast , following infection with p. chabaudi as , the levels of ifn- were higher in control mice than in those pretreated with cry1ac protoxin . the ifn- levels induced after p. chabaudi as infection were considerably lower compared to those elicited following p. berghei
anka infection , but they were still higher than those present in uninfected mice . in control
p. chabaudi as - infected mice , the levels of il-4 increased at day 18 pi , while in mice pretreated with cry1ac , the levels of this cytokine did not change ( figure 4 )
. levels of il-2 , il-5 and tnf- were not modified by any of these treatments ( results not shown ) .
berghei anka antibodies were induced in sera from mice infected with the parasite ( at days 4 and 8 pi ) , while sera from control uninfected mice , which were untreated or received pbs or cry1ac alone , did not have detectable anti-p.berghei anka antibodies ( figure 5 ) .
the treatment with protoxin cry1ac before infection increased the levels of igg1 , igg2a , igg2b , and igm in p. berghei anka - infected mice .
interestingly , this increase was only detected on day 4 pi compared to mice receiving the vehicle alone . at day
8 pi , similar levels of igg and igm responses were induced in both experimental groups ( figure 5 ) . in infected mice pretreated with cry1ac , the specific anti - p .
chabaudi as igg response was significantly higher on days 8 and 18 than that elicited in infected mice pretreated with the vehicle ( figure 6 ) . regarding the analyses of the different igg subclasses , specific responses at day 4 pi of the four igg subclasses ( igg1 , igg2a , igg2b , and igg3 ) were also significantly higher in the group receiving cry1ac before the infection compared to the group receiving the vehicle alone ( figure 5 ) .
however , at day 8 pi , the igg2b responses detected were higher in the vehicle group with respect to the cry1ac group , while the igg responses of the rest of the isotypes recorded were similar between the two groups .
the igm - specific response at day 8 pi was significantly higher in the group that received cry1ac than in the group treated with vehicle .
the specific antibody responses recorded in mice infected with p. berghei anka were lower in relation to those elicited in mice infected with p. chabaudi as .
this result was expected since the latter group of mice had a longer period of antigenic stimulation . in sera from uninfected mice receiving either the vehicle ( pbs ) or cry1ac , specific anti - p .
our results demonstrate that administration of the cry1ac protoxin from b. thuringiensis induces protection against the malaria parasite when it is administered in cba / ca mice before infection with p. chabaudi as and induces a longer survival time in p. berghei anka - infected mice ( figures 1 and 2 ) .
protection was shown by lower levels of parasitaemia ( first peak ) in groups of mice infected with either p. chabaudi as or p. berghei anka compared to control mice .
in addition , cry1ac protoxin modulated the mrna expression of proinflammatory cytokines , such as ifn- and tgf- , and increased the levels of igg and igm in both p. berghei anka- and p. chabaudi as - infected mice . due to the different courses of parasitaemia between cba / ca mice infected with the lethal p. berghei anka , which killed all of the mice around day 9 pi , and the non - lethal p. chabaudi as , the samples were analysed at different days ( 4 and 8 versus 8 and 18 , resp . ) to get the best comparison between both infections .
we evaluated the effect of cry1ac protoxin against plasmodium infection because we have previously described that this protein may be a valuable tool for the improvement of mucosal vaccines ; when cry1ac protoxin is coadministered as an adjuvant , it increases protective immunity against experimental naegleria fowleri meningoencephalitis , an acute fulminant infection initiated at the nasal mucosa , in mice .
interestingly , intranasal administration of cry1ac alone also had protective effects against n. fowleri infection , as this treatment increased survival , as immunization with amoebal lysates alone did , suggesting that cry1ac protoxin may boost innate immunity .
in addition , it has been reported that cry1ac protoxin enhances the respiratory burst of human monocytes and neutrophils .
accordingly , our unpublished results suggest that cry1ac activates mouse macrophages , inducing the expression of the costimulatory molecules b7 - 1 and b7 - 2 and the production of some proinflammatory cytokines ( ifn- and mcp-1 ) , but further studies are required to elucidate the mechanisms involved . despite the fact that cry proteins are not toxic to vertebrates and cry1ac is known to form pores exclusively in the midgut epithelial cells of lepidopteran insect , the existence of an unknown receptor in mammals has been suggested , because cry1ac protoxin binds to brush border membrane vesicles prepared from mouse small intestine in vitro
. the nature of the molecules interacting with cry proteins in mammalian enterocytes seems to be different than the receptor glycoproteins described in insects , such as the 120-kda aminopeptidase n and the 210-kda cadherin - like glycoprotein ( bt - r1 ) because binding to its receptor was not inhibited by galnac , mannose , or biotin . on the other hand , it has been shown that ifn- is able to activate macrophages , which are responsible for elimination of the the malaria parasite [ 2628 ] .
our results show that treatment with cry1ac protoxin decreased parasitaemia in mice infected with p. berghei anka at day 8 pi . at that time
, downregulation of tgf- expression and an increase in both mrna expression and serum levels of ifn- were found ( figures 3 and 4 ) .
this finding is consistent with a previous report showing that protective immunity was associated with a decrease in tgf- and a concomitant increase in ifn- production in p. yoelii 17xl - infected mice .
in addition , it has been shown that upregulation of ifn- in p. berghei anka - infected mice leads to the activation of macrophage , which increases parasite elimination .
however , mice infected with p. berghei anka in our study were not fully protected , and all of them died at day 21 pi .
a possible explanation for this finding is that the effect of cry1ac protoxin is limited ; it could promote a decrease in parasitaemia in mice at day 8 pi , which , in turn , diminishes the antigenic stimulation and downregulates the immunopathology . as the parasite was not completely eliminated , it started to proliferate again , and by day 11 , pi cry1ac protoxin no longer had an effect . on the other hand , clearance of p. chabaudi in mice depends first on their ability to mount an early proinflammatory cytokine response and second on their ability to downregulate the inflammatory response before the onset of the immunopathology . in our study , mice treated with protoxin cry1ac and infected with p. chabaudi as more efficiently eliminated parasitaemia , despite the fact that this group demonstrated a decrease in ifn- mrna expression that correlated with decreased serum levels of this cytokine compared to mice treated with pbs ( figures 3 and 4 ) .
this fact could be related to the upregulation of tgf- , which has been shown to play a double role in malaria infections ; it is able to lead pro- and anti - inflammatory responses that may downregulate the production of ifn- .
it is also possible that the improved parasite elimination in the mice treated with cry1ac could be related to higher levels of igg and igm antibodies , which could be associated with better parasite elimination due to an increase in phagocytosis [ 3236 ] .
treatment with protoxin cry1ac before plasmodium infection induced a stronger antibody response in cba / ca mice to both plasmodium berghei anka and p. chabaudi as infections compared to control mice treated with pbs ( figures 5 and 6 ) .
currently , the reason for this increase is not clear ; however , this finding could be explained by a cross - reaction resulting from molecular similarities between epitopes of plasmodium and the cry1ac protoxin .
we have performed elisa assays in which the cry1ac protoxin or p. berghei anka antigen was bound to the plate and several dilutions of p. berghei anka immune mice serum were tested . in these assays ,
immune sera to p. berghei anka or p. chabaudi as recognised cry1ac protoxin and developed higher od values compared to normal mouse serum ( data not shown ) , strongly suggesting that p. berghei anka and cry1ac share common antigens .
another possible mechanism , in which the pretreatment with cry1ac may increase survival in plasmodium - infected mice and may increase both the levels of plasmodium - specific antibodies elicited after the challenge and the levels of ifn- , may involve the activation of innate immune cells , such as antigen presenting cells , that permit a faster establishment of adaptive immune responses . in agreement with this proposal ,
our unpublished data indicate that cry1ac protoxin activates mouse macrophages , inducing the expression of the costimulatory molecules b7 - 1 and b7 - 2 and the production of proinflammatory cytokines .
, it is accepted that igg1 and igg2a are protective [ 3740 ] . however , in some reports , igg2b or igg3 are also mentioned as being protective [ 41 , 42 ] . in mice , it is well known that ifn- , the principal th1 effector cytokine , regulates the production of the opsonising or cytophilic isotype igg2a , which is in accordance with our results in p. berghei - infected mice , and that il-4 is central to the synthesis of igg1 , while tgf- is involved in the synthesis of igg2b . in our study
, we found that pretreatment with cry1ac protoxin significantly increases the igg subclasses assessed and igm in p. chabaudi as- or p. berghei anka - infected mice , which could be associated with parasite clearance because it has been shown that antibody responses play a critical role in immune protection against plasmodium in asexual blood stages .
this role has been demonstrated by passive transfer experiments using sera or purified immunoglobulins from adults residing in areas with hyperendemic malaria [ 44 , 45 ] .
however , the mechanisms by which malaria - specific antibodies interfere with the development and/or multiplication of the asexual stages of human plasmodia are still unclear . it has been postulated that antibodies inhibit parasite growth in cooperation either with monocytes or neutrophils via antibody - dependent cellular inhibition [ 46 , 47 ] or by immunophagocytosis through fc receptors expressed on the cell surface after binding their parasite target .
in addition , a correlation between immune protection and the ability of serum to mediate opsonisation of infected erythrocytes has been described .
further studies are required to clarify the mechanisms involved in boosting the innate immunity against malaria . like most adjuvants cry1ac
the data presented in this study suggest that pretreatment with this protein could lead to design prophylactic strategies to improve resistance against malaria infections
. however , further studies are required to clarify the mechanisms involved in boosting the innate immunity against plasmodium infection . | pubmed |
The PGA Grand Slam of Golf was an annual off-season golf tournament contested from 1979 until 2014 when the tournament was cancelled. It was contested by the year's winners of the four major championships of regular men's golf, which are the Masters Tournament, the U.S. Open, The Open Championship British Open, and the PGA Championship. It was one of several invitational events for leading male golfers held each year after the PGA Tour and the European Tour seasons had concluded. The competition was organized by the PGA of America and the prize money did not count toward the PGA Tour money list.
The tournament was staged since 1979 with a couple of short breaks. Beginning in 1991, it was played as a two-day, 36-hole stroke play competition, except in 1998 and 1999, when it was played at match play. From 1979 to 1990, it was played as a one-day, 18-hole stroke play competition. If a player won more than one major in a calendar year or a player declined the invitation to play, the PGA of America filled the four-man field by inviting the former major winners with the best overall finishes in that year's majors.
Initially the PGA Grand Slam of Golf was played at a different golf course each year, but from 1994 to 2006, it was played at the Poipu Bay Golf Course in Koloa, Hawaii on the island of Kauai. The tournament in Hawaii allowed the event to be televised in prime-time American television with live coverage because of the time difference.
In 2007, the tournament moved to the Mid Ocean Club in Bermuda and it was played in mid-October, reflecting the earlier end to the main part of the PGA Tour season after the introduction of the FedEx Cup. In 2009, the event stayed in Bermuda but moved to the Port Royal Golf Course.
The final prize fund was $1.35 million, of which $600,000 went to the winner. This was the lowest first prize some of the competitors have played for all year, but on the other hand there was a guaranteed $200,000 for coming in last. From 1991 to 2005, the prize fund was $1 million, of which $400,000 went to the winner. In 2006, the purse was $1.25 million, with $500,000 going to the winner.
In the 2004 tournament at Poipu Bay Golf Course, Phil Mickelson shot a 59 in the second round.
The 198690 tournaments were played at Kemper Lakes Golf Club in Hawthorn Woods, Illinois, site of the PGA Championship in 1989.
The event was to be moved to Trump National Golf Club in Rancho Palos Verdes, California for the 2015 contest, but on July 7, 2015 the PGA announced that the 2015 event will not be played at the course. After being unable to find a suitable course, the 2015 event was canceled.
In March 2016, the event was canceled altogether.
World Series of Golf
The year's four major champions in a 36-hole event was previously applied at the original World Series of Golf, played from 1962 through 1975 at the South Course of Firestone Country Club in Akron, Ohio. Held in early September, Jack Nicklaus won four of the fourteen events, including the first two, and was runner-up in six. All editions had a winner's share of $50,000, a substantial prize in its early years, significantly more than a major. The event changed to a limited field PGA Tour event in 1976 and continues as the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational.
Courses
Results
Note: a=alternate
b=Mike Ditka replaced Curtis Strange due to illness.
Multiple winners
Five golfers have won the event more than once:
Tiger Woods 7 wins: 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2005, 2006
Greg Norman 3 wins: 1986, 1993, 1994
Andy North 2 wins: 1979, 1990
Jim Furyk 2 wins: 2003, 2008
Ernie Els 2 wins: 1997, 2010
References
External links
Coverage on the PGA of America's site
PGA of America Media Guide Coverage for all years
Port Royal Golf Club Official site of 200912 Grand Slam course
Category:PGA Tour unofficial money events
Category:Golf in Hawaii
Category:Golf in Bermuda
Category:Golf in California
Category:Recurring sporting events established in 1979 | wikipedia |
10 donn ajh , costley ae , barnsley r , bindslev h , conway g , fisher r , gianella , hartfuss h , von hellerman mg , hodgson e , ingesson lc , itami k , johnson d , kawano y , kondoh t , krasilnikov a , kusama y , litnovsky a , lotte p , nielse p , nishitani t , orsitto f , peterson bj , razdobarin g , sanchez j , sasao m , sugie t , vayakis g , voitsenya v , vukolov k , walker c , young k , and the itpa topical group on diagnostics 2007 _ nucl fusion _ * 47 * s337 .
ralchenko yu , jou f - c , kelleher de , kramida ae , musgrove a , reader j , wiese wl and olsen k 2006 _ nist atomic spectra database ( version 3.1.3 ) _ , [ online ] .
available : http://physics.nist.gov/asd3 [ 2007 , september 15 ] .
national institute of standards and technology , gaithersburg , md . | arxiv |
Game of Thrones Tyrion is a Winner
**Disclaimer: **
**I do not own Game of Thrones. **
**A/N:**
**I am in the habit of writing down amusing things my friends say while we are playing video games. Today Gallagher and I played Elder Scrolls III, Morrowind. She challenged me to use her quotes in order in a story. **
**This is the result of that challenge. I am sure that you will be able to discern for yourself which are the quotes.**
***cough cough* everything Tyrion says *cough cough* **
**Also, this story takes place during season 3 of GoT. **
**Oh, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**
* * *
_I'm under the water...but I'm not drowning, _Tyrion Lannister muses as he sinks to the bottom of the bathtub.
But then...
_I am drowning, _he realizes. Yet, instead of attempting to figure out a solution to his dilemma like he usually would, he comes up with a **brilliant** idea.
_I can whistle, I guess. _
But when whistling while drowning becomes a task too arduous to continue, he concedes that he must find a way back up to the surface. He manages to 'swim' upwards- albeit clumsily- but finds he lacks the strength to pull himself out of the tub.
Tywin Lannister, wearing an incredulous expression ambles over to Tyrion, who flounders in the tub's shallow water.
"What do you think you are doing?" Tywin questions his son bluntly.
"Oh hey, help meeee...you...you beautiful man, you."
Tywin's brow furrows, and he opens his mouth to say something insulting. Yet, when he notices the desperation so clearly displayed across his son's face, he sighs and decides to aid the inebriated man before him. Tywin grasps Tyrion's arms roughly, and pulls him out of the tub. Then he proceeds to discard him haphazardly on the floor.
"Might I suggest that the next time you decide to imbibe large quantities of alcohol," Tywin begins dryly, eying his tipsy son disdainfully, "you are certain you're in **your own **quarters before taking a bath."
Tyrion rolls his eyes and makes a noncommittal grunt. Tywin tosses his son's previously abandoned clothes at him and he clumsily dresses himself. But then Tyrion realizes he had made a 'dreadful error'.
"WAIT! ohmygods I'm so stuuuupid! Theres a ladder!" He shouts, gesticulating wildly at the tub he had just vacated- which did not have a ladder- and startling his cranky father in the process.
Tywin stares at his son long and hard. He wonders -not for the first time- what he had done to deserve this blathering, drunken dwarf for a son. He decides to ignore Tyrion's ravings and calls for a knight to usher him out.
"HEY! It's me again!" Tyrion greets the knight jubilantly as he stumbles over to him.
"Come along imp," grumbles the knight, who quickly realizes that Tyrion will not be able to walk back to his quarters unaided.
"Grab onto my arm, imp, I am going to have to help you. You're not strong enough in this state to walk without harming yourself."
Tyrion pouts, but he reluctantly obeys and grabs onto the knight's arm. "I wanna be str...str...strenk...strong," he whines.
Tywin watches his son stumble down the hall clutching onto the knight. He sighs and shakes his head before shutting the door with a resounding slam.
* * *
Safely back in his room, Tyrion inspects himself in the mirror. He leers at the red mark on his neck, and thinks back to earlier in the evening when he had received it from Shae.
"Mark of the WINNER," he exclaims triumphantly.
_Yes, indeed, a winner. If being a winner means drinking and whoring day in day out, you are undoubtedly the greatest winner of them all. _A sarcastic voice -not unlike his father's- comments.
Tyrion flops onto his bed and sighs, he muses to himself how his beloved father always knows the best way to build up his self esteem. He is still fully clothed, he had not bothered to disrobe much further than unclasping his tunic.
_You are a Lannister. You need to start acting like one. Don't you have any pride? _
"I will, don't even count on it...wait...DO count on it," Tyrion murmurs, his vision blurring as he feels sleep begin to overtake him.
Then an object on the table in the corner of the room catches his eye. It is a sword, he cannot seem to recall when or why he had discarded it there. Candlelight glints off of the steel surface. Tyrion pushes himself up into a sitting position by his forearms and sneers at the weapon. His father would have liked for him to wield **real weapons- **not those of the mind. Because that's what Lannisters do.
But Tyrion's arsenal of weapons has always consisted of books.
"Not that they do me any good in sword fights with loafs...oafs," Tyrion mutters bitterly, but upon catching his verbal slip up his grimace twists itself into a grin. He cackles at the thought of fighting a loaf of bread. He is nearly brought to tears when he imagines that instead of Stannis's soldiers laying siege to King's Landing, it is thousands of hostile slabs of dough that storm the capital.
He isn't tired anymore, and he can feel some of his drunken haze dissipating.
Tyrion hoists himself out of bed and hobbles over to the door on steadier feet. Then stops short when he realizes that he smells like a tavern despite his bath. Upon discerning that it must be because he is still wearing the clothes from before he took a bath, he decides to rectify this dilemma. He is a Lannister, after all, isn't he? He needs to keep up appearances, doesn't he?
"Oh! Better go put on my fancy outfit!"
With that exclamation, Tyrion elects new, clean clothing and struts out of his room purposefully.
"Ahhhahaha ha! Time for an adventure!" Tyrion chuckles.
He doesn't have a destination in mind, just new-found energy and the desire to move. As he rounds the corner at the end of the hallway he stops abruptly. He spies the knight that had escorted him back to his room earlier, standing stock-still and facing away from him.
"Oh, look, it's mister guard again," Tyrion whispers to himself spitefully. He didn't want to run into him because the knight would undoubtedly deem him unfit to be roaming about the castle, and usher him right back to his room.
Thus, Tyrion walks as swiftly as his legs can carry him in the direction that he came from, and ducks into the first room he sees. Which incidentally happens to be his father's study.
Tyrion spots his father's ledger lying open on his desk. It is a large thing with yellowed pages. Every inch of space available on it's sheets is filled with Tywin's neat copperplate. Tyrion idly wonders how many insidious double-dealings are recorded within it. Did his father whine and pour out his discontent with the whole of Westeros into it's pages? Perhaps the ledger doubled as a diary. This amused Tyrion, and he imagined his father expressing his hidden thoughts and feelings into something that could be so easily sequestered by an enemy, or another slimy double-dealer like Petyr Baelish.
Straightening his posture and clasping his hands in front of him in a mock gesture of Baelish's typical demeanor, Tyrion walks slowly to his father's desk and lays a hand on the ledger.
"Oh yes," Tyrion begins- lowering his voice in an attempt to mimic Baelish's. "I will be taking his HUGE diary. Lord Tywin Lannister has a lot of feelings. He needs a lot of space to write all of them. And I must know these feelings of his so I may cause unrest in King's Landing and climb the ladder of chaos."
Tyrion retracts his hand and laughs.
And then it dawns on him that he is getting far too sober. That won't do- not at all.
_Yes, why don't you drink some more, make yourself sick, and choke on your own vomit. If I can't count on you dying in battle, then perhaps you might have the decency to die from your disgusting habits, _his father's voice sneers.
"Father would like that, wouldn't he," Tyrion mumbles. He knows that his father wishes he were dead. It's no secret.
But dwelling on these things was unproductive, Tyrion knows this very well. It was always better to focus on the more positive aspects of life- like a good wine.
"I want something to drink..." Tyrion proclaims to nobody in particular as he surveys his father's study- looking for something suitable to quench his thirst and chase away his troubles.
Tyrion is in luck. He spies a bottle of Arbor gold on a low shelf off to his right- well within his reach.
"I want YOUUU," he declares cheerfully, and grabs the bottle. But Tyrion is quickly faced with the dilemma in the form of a bottle of Dornish sour red. Which to choose?
Then again, why choose at all?
"I want both of you," Tyrion states, determined.
After all, his alcohol tolerance is better than most people's. He can handle it.
Tyrion drinks deeply from both of the bottles and feels the familiar, warm, drunken haze returning. It is a welcome feeling.
_You are a disgrace to the Lannister name, you should have died at birth. _
Tyrion ignores his father's cruel remarks. Tyrion is a winner, and he refuses to die.
With that satisfying revelation, Tyrion plops himself in his father's desk chair and falls into a deep and satisfying slumber.
***The End***
End file.
| fanfiction |
Zinc in a single displacement reaction with hydrochloric acid [closed]
**Closed.** This question is [off-topic](/help/closed-questions). It is not currently accepting answers.
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I understand that on the metal activity series, zinc can displace hydrogen from acids, but not from cold water. But is there a structural reason for this. For example, why can zinc displace hydrogen from hydrochloric acid, but not from water?
Thanks
The zinc replaces the hydrogen in that is reduces (gives electrons to) $\ce{H^+}$, forming $\ce{H2(g)}$ and $\ce{Zn^2+(aq)}$ according to this reaction: $$\ce{Zn(s) + 2H^+(aq) -> Zn^2+ + H2(g)}$$ This reaction relies on the prescence of $\ce{H^+}$.
The hydrogen in acids exists as $\ce{H^+}$. Acids are also ionic compounds that involve hydrogen as the donor of electrons. For example, hydrogen gas and chlorine gas react to make hydrogen chloride: $$\ce{H2 -> 2H^+ + 2e^-}$$ $$\ce{Cl2 + 2e^- -> 2Cl^-}$$ $$\ce{2H^+ + Cl^- -> 2HCl}$$ The reverse of this happens when the hydrogen chloride is dissolved into water. this forms hydrochloric acid.The compound breaks apart into hydrogen and chlorine ions:$$\ce{H2O + HCl -> H+ + Cl-}$$ Hydrochloric acid completely dissociates, meaning that every $\ce{HCl}$ molecule yields one $\ce{H^+}$ ion.
Essentialy, acids increase the amount of $\ce{H^+}$ in solution. Normally, in pure water, concentrations of $\ce{H^+}$ are very low. The hydrogen in $\ce{H2O}$ is covalently bonded to the oxygen, so it is difficult for the hydrogen to react. In order to liberate a hydrogen ion from $\ce{H2O}$, this must occur: $$\ce{H2O -> H^+ + OH^-}$$
This reaction happens infrequently in water, so concentrations of $\ce{H^+}$ are very low. Therefore, zinc barely replaces hydrogen in water.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Doc Martin Dear Martin
**Dear Martin**
By robspace54
Dear Martin,
I think it best that we stay in touch, although I have moved to London. The way that I slunk off was frightful and hurtful and I am sorry about that. It has been quite hard moving house. Plus I miss the sea and the village. Getting my first breath of London smog and the people crowding the pavement and the markets was, well, frightening, at first.
I have a tiny bedsit three Tube stops from the school where I am teaching remedial maths, basic earth science, and beginning algebra. There are one or two students that remind me of Peter Cronk, as far as their intelligence goes, and the way that they popup with the most amazing insights at times, takes my breath away.
Here's the thing.
I am pregnant. WE are pregnant.
You're likely as surprised as I am for we did use protection. I know we did as you insisted that we do so. But here we, I, am…with child.
My new OB confirms a date of 25 June and the baby is coming along quite healthy. I have been getting a reasonable amount of exercise, have given up wine (of course!) and been eating plenty of veg, fruit and lean meats. I am doing well.
All of a bit of a shock, I know. Thirty seven and preggers is not quite how I hope to spend my first winter in London.
I want you to be involved with this baby. Please call my mobile.
Sincerely,
Louisa
_I sat back and read the note over. It sounded factual and direct. I should think a bit before I email it, though. Perhaps a walk would help clear my mind!_
Martin,
I am pregnant. Call me!
Louisa
_Better? God I don't know. I blow my nose and wipe my eyes. The second note is too direct, I think. Time for dinner. Maybe taking a walk did not improve it._
Martin,
I suspect that parenting might not be your long suit, but it would seem that Biology has got in the way. My Biology, for I am pregnant with our baby. The due date is 25 June and I am healthy, and so is the fetus.
Call me.
Louisa
_I reread the third one. Too high and mighty, I think. Technically correct, yet it sounds aloof. Maybe…_
Martin,
You bastard! You got me pregnant!
LG
_Nope. Not that either. Time to watch the news._
Dear Martin,
Thinking back to October your proposal was a bit of a shock, but I gladly accepted. So much so that I let you into my bed and now the results are in. I have a bun in the oven. I am preggers.
Please call me.
Louisa
_Well watching the news didn't exactly help with that one! How about,_
Dear Martin,
I am working and living in London as you know. The school is going fine and I am fine.
So here's the thing - I am pregnant. Now before you wonder, this baby is ours. Yours and mine. We need to talk. I don't want my child to not have a father, even if it seems, her mother and father will not be married.
So, there you have it. A bit of shock, I know but I am keeping the baby.
I am closely following my OB's directions, eating well, exercising; taking care of myself. I hope that you are doing well, and I am so sorry the way that I bolted.
So what do we do now?
Louisa
_I read the last one. It is factual and open, and… shit! It's all crap. Total and utter crap! My shaking hand pries open my handbag and takes out my mobile._
_I'll just call. I can't send Martin an email with this bombshell! Can I?_
_Well bollox. The mobile battery is flat._
_I wander to the desk and fetch my charger and plug in the phone. Damn. Every time I think I get up my courage to tell him… I rub the bump where my waist used to be, and pressing in feel the resilient and fluid-filled chamber inside me. I've felt a few flutters from time to time, must be gas, but no movement. "Quickening" the baby book calls it. Sounds so… medieval._
_The little red light on the phone glows like a candle in the dark. Only the laptop screen and that charging light glow in my bedsit on the third floor of an old building of painted brick at ten in the PM. I can smell a faint smell of garlic from the Italian girls across the hall and hear the clump-clump of the mystery man who lives above me. Haven't seen the guy, but been told he's quiet. Quiet the guy may be but he can be quite noisy up there for at times it sounds like he's jumping on the bed. Maybe he's got a really hot girlfriend or boyfriend._
_Back to the laptop. One more try. I've written to mum, so why can't I write to Martin?_
Dearest Martin,
I am sorry for slinking away from Portwenn the way I did. I just could not stay that near to you considering our history. Plus the gossips kept getting on my nerves. And every time I looked out my rear windows there was your cottage, across the harbor. I finally could not take it anymore - the sense of failure. I am sorry for that as well. If I had tried a little harder and maybe you did too, well…
I had not been feeling very well two months ago and just before Christmas I realized I was pregnant. I'm pregnant with our baby.
That is such a heavy word - pregnant. But I am and we are.
I am keeping the baby and I do not want him or her to be a stranger to their father, even if we aren't together.
My due date is 25 June and have been carefully following the directions for a pregnant mum. Plenty of veg and fruit, no alcohol, light exercise, and rest.
Please call me and we can figure out how you can be involved, if you want to.
All a shock and I hope this does not upset any plans you might have.
But here's the thing.
I made a mistake. Not getting pregnant, although it is unexpected.
I was wrong about you and me. I do love you Martin Ellingham. I will take you as you are and I know I am not the best prize on the shelf either. But who is perfect in this world? Lord knows my mum and dad were not perfect and I suspect yours were not either.
We can make each other happy. It won't be easy but I miss you and the village. Portwenn may not suit you, but I'd like to come home and be there, with you, if that is possible.
Please, please, please call me on my mobile, day or night.
Love, Louisa
_I reread the last one and feel it is about as close to the truth as I can come, but I decide to sleep on it._
_The next morning I re-read the notes and bin them all in disgust. What complete and utter rubbish! Not one appeals to me! And if they don't suit me they won't suit Martin either!_
_The baby flutters under my ribs and reality settles in. I'll just have to muddle through somehow._
_I pick up my school things and look at my calendar. The Head Mistress wants to see me at noon. I wonder what that is all about?_
The End
**Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Productions. I claim no ownership of the TV production and the story here is strictly for personal enjoyment.**
End file.
| fanfiction |
Park Crossing graduate Malik Cunningham went 14-of-18 for 117 yards, a touchdown and ran for 62 yards and a score in Louisville's spring game Friday.
Malik Cunningham put up very good numbers in Friday's spring game, but Jawon Pass showed why he's slated to replace 2016 Heisman Trophy winner Lamar Jackson as Louisville's starting quarterback.
Pass lived up to his last name in throwing for 342 yards and three touchdowns to one interception on 26-of-37 passing in leading the Red team to a 42-13 win over the White team.
Cunningham saw action for both teams in going 14-of-18 for 117 yards and a touchdown Friday at Papa John's Cardinal Stadium. Redshirting last season, the Park Crossing graduate ran for 62 yards and a score on 10 carries.
Still, Pass will enter his third season at Louisville as the starter – and has the challenge of replacing one of the most dynamic dual threats to ever play college ball.
In three seasons, Jackson threw for 9,043 yards and 69 touchdowns and ran for 4,132 yards and 50 touchdowns. A redshirt sophomore, Pass played in six games last season. He went 23-of-33 for 238 yards and two touchdowns with no interceptions and ran for 62 yards and a touchdown on 13 rushes.
Louisville opens the 2018 season Sept. 1 against defending national champion Alabama in Orlando. Three years ago, Jackson played in the 2015 opener as a true freshman in Louisville's 31-24 loss to Auburn in Atlanta.
Bobby Petrino ran a trick play for Jackson on the game's first play from scrimmage that backfired. Jackson threw an interception Tray Matthews returned 35 yards to set up a short scoring drive Jeremy Johnson capped with a 1-yard touchdown run in giving the Tigers a 7-0 lead.
Petrino didn't name a starter before the game, gave then sophomore Reggie Bonnafon the nod, but Jackson ended up throwing for 100 yards and running for 106 yards and a score in sparking a near comeback for the Cards.
Jackson became the starter, set records, won a Heisman Trophy and is now a projected Day 1 pick in this month's NFL Draft while Bonnafon switched positions and became a complementary wide receiver.
Looks like Pass is a sure lock to start against Alabama, but don't be surprised if Cunningham plays. If history means anything, Petrino may call Cunningham's number as early as Louisville's first offensive play. | slim_pajama |
chagas disease continues to pose a serious threat to health in latin america and mexico , and is the most important emerging parasitic disease in developed countries . according to the world health organization ,
the overall prevalence of human trypanosoma cruzi infection is at ~1618 million cases , and ~120 million people are at risk of infection in latin america . in most patients ,
the early period of t. cruzi infection goes virtually unnoticed whereas others develop an acute phase that lasts several weeks and is accompanied by such nonspecific symptoms , fever , tachycardia , weakness , and lymphadenopathy [ 2 , 3 ] . after acute control of t. cruzi , infected patients enter an indeterminate phase , defined by the absence of clinical symptoms although subclinical pathology may be present . unfortunately ,
1530 years after the initial infection , 3040% of the infected patients develop life threatening dilated cardiomyopathy associated with clinical symptoms of ventricular dilation , arrhythmia , and cardiac arrest .
the pathological developments and clinical symptoms vary widely among chagasic patients [ 2 , 57 ] .
not every individual infected with t. cruzi experiences the abnormalities characteristic of the three phases of chagas disease : acute , indeterminate , and chronic .
these facts make chagas disease a complex disease and difficult to understand . over the years
, a number of mechanisms have been proposed to explain the pathogenesis of chagas disease ( reviewed in [ 8 , 9 ] ) .
there is growing evidence to suggest that chagasic myocardia are exposed to sustained oxidative stress - induced injuries that may contribute to disease progression . in this review
, we discuss the evidence for increased oxidative stress in chagasic disease , with emphasis on mitochondrial abnormalities , as well as electron transport chain dysfunction , and its role in sustaining oxidative stress in myocardium .
broadly defined , reactive oxygen species ( ros , e.g. , o2 , oh , and h2o2 ) are derivatives of molecular oxygen .
ros are unstable and react rapidly with other free radicals and macromolecules in chain reactions to generate increasingly harmful oxidants .
ros are produced through the action of specific oxidases and oxygenases ( e.g. , xanthine oxidase , and nadph oxidase ) , peroxidases ( e.g. , myeloperoxidase ) , the fenton reaction , and are also by - products of the electron transport chain of mitochondria .
nitric oxide ( no ) is produced by the enzymatic activity of nitric oxide synthases ( nos ) , which oxidize l - arginine , transferring electrons from nadph .
different nos isoforms have been identified , for example , inducible nos ( inos ) in phagocytic cells , mtnos in mitochondria , ( enos ) in endothelial cells , and neuronal nnos . during the course of t. cruzi infection and disease development
, ros can be produced as a consequence of tissue destruction caused by toxic secretions of parasite , immune - mediated cytotoxic reactions , and secondary damage to mitochondria . in experimental studies ,
t. cruzi infection has been suggested to initiate ros formation via the stimulation of inflammatory mediators , for example , cytokines and chemokines , which lead to an oxidative burst of phagocytic cells .
several investigators have used in vitro assay systems or animal models and demonstrated that t. cruzi - mediated macrophage activation results in increased levels of o2 formation , likely by the nadph oxidase - dependent oxidative burst [ 1214 ] .
in addition to ros , activated macrophages can produce large amounts of no by inos .
accordingly , tnf-- and ifn--dependent increased inos expression and no production is noted in splenocytes of t. cruzi - infected mice and in macrophages infected in vitro with t. cruzi .
we have found increased levels of myeloperoxidase and nitrite in the plasma of t. cruzi - infected mice that are markers of neutrophil and macrophage activation , respectively .
relatively few studies have been performed to elucidate inflammatory oxidative stress in human patients . in humans ,
the severity of cardiac disease was correlated with high plasma levels of tnf- and no .
these reactive oxidants are important for the control of t. cruzi , and may elicit toxicity to host cellular components .
recent studies provide evidence for enhanced mitochondrial ros generation ( h2o2 and o2 ) in chagasic myocardium .
mitochondria are the prime source of energy and many of the body 's functions , including those of cardiac metabolic and contractile activities , require mitochondrial generation of atp .
electron microscopic analysis of heart biopsies from chagasic patients and experimental animals have shown that with disease development , mitochondrial degenerative changes , that is , swelling , irregular membranes , and loss of cristae , accrue in the heart with disease development [ 2023 ] .
global microarray profiling of gene expression has identified alterations in several of the mitochondrial function related transcripts in the myocardium of infected humans and experimental animals [ 25 , 26 ] .
the biochemical evidence for the mitochondrial dysfunction was provided by documentation of a decline in the activities of respiratory complexes , nadh - ubiquinone reductase ( ci ) and ubiquinol - cytochrome c reductase ( ciii ) and atp synthase ( cv ) complex in chagasic murine hearts .
the functional effect of these perturbations was shown by decreased mitochondrial respiration , and reduction in myocardial and mitochondrial atp levels in chagasic experimental models .
the rate of electron leakage and o2 formation in mitochondria is closely related to the coupling efficiency between the respiratory chain and oxidative phosphorylation . the ci and ciii complexes are the main sites for electron leakage to o2 and o2 generation in mitochondria [ 32 , 33 ] . we have shown a decline in complex i and complex iii activities in the myocardium was associated with excessive leakage of electrons to molecular oxygen and sustained ros production in chagasic mice .
further studies identified that ci was not the main source of increased ros in chagasic hearts .
instead , defects of the myxothiazol - binding site in ciii complex resulted in enhanced electron leakage towards the qo - center , and contributed to increased ros generation in chagasic cardiac mitochondria .
the overall level of cellular ros and its biological effects are determined by the relative rates of ros generation and the rate of reduction by antioxidants .
the principal enzymatic antioxidants are superoxide dismutase ( sod ) , catalase ( cat ) , peroxiredoxin ( prx ) , and glutathione peroxidase ( gpx ) .
sod exists in different isoforms , for example , manganese sod ( mnsod ) in the mitochondrial matrix and cu- or zn - sod in the cytoplasm , mitochondria intermembrane space , and endothelial cell surface .
the five isoforms of gpx utilize glutathione ( gsh ) , and reduce h2o2 or lipid peroxides ( rooh ) to h2o or alcohols ( roh ) , respectively . the byproduct of this reaction , gssg is recycled by glutathione s reductase .
the nonenzymatic antioxidants , for example , vitamin e ( -tocopherol ) and vitamin c ( ascorbate ) , are abundant in aerobic organisms .
vitamin c , a highly soluble antioxidant in plasma , functions by reducing -tocopherol - lipid peroxide radicals , particularly formed in reaction with the low - density lipoproteins ( ldl ) .
the myocardium contains high concentrations of various nonenzymatic antioxidants such as reduced glutathione ( gsh ) and vitamins a , c , and e , and enzymatic scavengers of ros , including gpx and mn- and cuzn - sod .
gsh , gpx , and mnsod are shown to be most critical in cardiac antioxidant defenses , particularly in protecting the cardiomyocytes from oxidative injury [ 39 , 40 ] .
we and others have evaluated the antioxidant / oxidant balance in experimental models of chagasic disease and human patients .
our experimental studies showed that the host responds to acute t. cruzi infection by upregulating glutathione antioxidant defense constituted by gpx , gsr , and gsh .
however , after the initial burst , the glutathione defense was unresponsive to chronic oxidative stress , and the cardiac levels of gsh and mnsod were significantly diminished in chagasic mice . a decline in plasma levels of gsh , the gsh / gssg ratio [ 42 , 43 ] , and gpx activity , along with decreased mnsod activity in pbmcs of seropositive chagasic patients [ 42 , 43 ] is also noted . decreased antioxidant levels ( gpx and sod )
all of these observations suggest an antioxidant response is not sufficiently activated to scavenge the ros during progressive chagasic disease .
ros and no , when produced in physiological quantities , play critical roles in normal developmental processes , and control signal transduction mechanisms that regulate cell proliferation , differentiation , and death [ 44 , 45 ] .
however , when ros are produced in excess or for sustained periods , they may exert toxic effects that damage cells and tissues , thereby resulting in dysfunction of physiological processes .
specifically , 4-hydroxynonenal ( hne ) and malonyldialdehyde ( mda ) are products of the peroxidation of membrane phospholipids [ 4648 ] .
these oxidized lipids are also toxic because they are highly reactive species that result in oxidative modification of proteins . for example
, hne reacts with cys , his , or lys residues via a michael addition that results in irreversible alkylation and introduction of carbonyl groups into proteins .
the direct oxidative attack by ros on arg , lys , pro , and thr residues can also derivatize the proteins and lead to the formation of protein carbonyls [ 50 , 51 ] .
myeloperoxidase - dependent oxidation of nitrite ( no2 ) results in formation of nitrogen dioxide ( no2 ) and nitryl chloride ( no2cl ) . these reactive nitrogen species ( rns )
result in protein tyrosine nitration that is widely recognized as a hallmark of nitrosative stress and inflammation . because of oxidation or nitration , a functional impairment of proteins occurs , and furthermore leads to protein turnover , for example , degradation by proteases via the proteosome .
dna can be oxidized by a variety of mechanisms , resulting in nucleotide damage , for example , formation of 8-oxoguanine lesions . as a result
while mechanisms exist to repair these dna lesions , the level of dna damage may exceed the capacity of the cellular repair mechanisms .
furthermore , mtdna is believed to be particularly susceptible to sustained damage , since mitochondria may lack appropriate dna repair mechanisms .
t. cruzi has the potential to infect a wide range of host tissues . as discussed above , the inflammatory infiltrate in acutely infected host
is mainly constituted of phagocytic cells ( e.g. , macrophages ) and neutrophils that produce ros / rns through oxidative burst , inos - dependent no release , and myeloperoxidase - dependent hocl production .
oxidative damage is a consequence of the extent of oxidative stress and the antioxidant capacity .
a t. cruzi - infected host does respond to inflammatory oxidative stress by an upregulation of antioxidant response constituted of gpx , gsh , and gst . yet , oxidative cellular damage , evidenced by increased protein carbonyls , mda , and gssg levels , is widespread , and associated with the presence of parasite foci and inflammatory infiltrate in the heart , as well as in other muscle tissues in acutely infected mice .
the acute oxidative damage , thus , appears to be a bystander effect of inflammatory responses elicited by t. cruzi , and occurs in all muscle tissues . the immune control of acute parasitemia fails to provide sterile immunity .
the evolution of a chronic phase is associated with mild - to - moderate diffused inflammation in different tissues and organs .
it would be an oversimplification to suggest that cardiac pathology is merely an outcome of infection and inflammation , or parasite persistence that is sufficient to drive an ongoing host immune response targeted against t. cruzi .
an unvarying high degree of oxidative damage persists mainly in the myocardium of chronically infected mice , as evidenced by high levels of mda , protein carbonyl , and gssg contents in the heart compared to findings in the skeletal muscle and colon tissue .
we propose the persistent activation of oxidative injurious processes plays an important role in heart - specific tissue damage in chagas disease .
several observations led us to consider that ros in chronic chagasic heart are primarily produced by dysfunctional mitochondria .
it is well known that ros are generated at several subcellular sites and particularly in mitochondria . in effect , ~2% of the o2 consumed by mitochondria is converted to o2 due to spontaneous electron leaks from the respiratory chain . activated skeletal and intestinal muscles intermittently require mitochondria as an energy source , while cardiomyocytes are constantly dependent upon mitochondrial functions for their energy requirement for maintaining the contractile and other metabolic activities . according to energy demand ,
a ~30% cell volume of cardiomyocytes is provided by mitochondria , while in other tissues mitochondria constitute only 36% of cell volume .
thus , maximal o2 consumption , as would be expected based upon the number of mitochondria in the heart , would produce substantial o2 in the heart through electron leakage from the respiratory chain .
thus , it can be inferred that even in normal conditions , heart tissue is maximally exposed to ros of mitochondrial origin . besides this , inefficient functioning of the respiratory complexes , as documented in chagasic hearts , would result in an inadequate coupling of the respiratory chain with oxidative phosphorylation and an excessive release of electrons to molecular oxygen , leading to an increased mitochondrial ros production .
we have recently found that the rate of mitochondrial o2 generation was substantially increased in cardiac tissue of infected mice , and associated with the oxidation of several subunits of the respiratory complexes . the active - site thiol and heme proteins within respiratory complexes are particularly vulnerable to ros
. the oxidative modification / degradation of heme proteins of the complexes release iron , the catalyst of the fenton reaction , resulting in the formation / release of oh radicals [ 6466 ] .
taken together , these observations suggest that , under disease conditions , mitochondria are vulnerable to oxidative stress , as well as to becoming the site of an increasing order of ros production .
we , thus , propose that the acute inflammatory oxidative stress - induced mitochondrial injuries initiate a feedback cycle of ros production and oxidative overload that causes sustained oxidative damage in the myocardium .
a compromise in mitochondrial antioxidant enzyme activity ( mnsod ) in chagasic myocardium would further exacerbate the mitochondrial ros toxicity .
the foregoing studies have pointed to the pathologic significance of oxidative responses in chagasic cardiomyopathy .
it is important to note that a high degree of oxidative stress is detected in the peripheral blood of chagasic mice .
the demonstration of a strong positive correlation in the heart - versus - blood levels of oxidative stress markers ( mda and gssg ) , and antioxidants ( sod , mnsod , and catalase ) , and the mitochondrial inhibition of respiratory complexes in chronically infected mice have made it apparent that peripheral blood will be useful for understanding the role of mitochondrial decay and oxidative stress in the initiation and progression of human chagasic disease .
subsequently , observations of increased plasma levels of gssg and mda and a decline in gpx activity in seropositive humans [ 18 , 42 ] have led to the suggestion that chagasic patients are indeed exposed to an antioxidant / oxidant imbalance . as in experimental studies , multiple mechanisms are likely to contribute to increased oxidative stress - induced damage in chagasic patients
. plasma levels of inflammatory cytokines , no and myeloperoxidase activity are increased in seropositive subjects which seems to imply that the cytotoxic effects of free radicals released by immune cells would contribute to oxidative pathology in chagasic patients .
the increase in plasma mda levels in chagasic patients may also be due to oxidatively modified lipids released as a consequence of cellular injuries , most likely , that are incurred in the cardiac tissue .
this notion is supported by the observation of intense myocardial oxidative modifications associated with the detection of oxidatively modified lipids and proteins in the serum of mice infected by t. cruzi .
additionally , sod and glutathione ( gpx - gsh - gr ) antioxidant defenses , utilized by mammalian cells to cope with free radicals , are found to be compromised in chagasic patients [ 18 , 42 ] .
these observations support the idea that glutathione antioxidant defenses , despite being active , may only be partially effective in balancing the oxidant level in chagasic patients .
interventions that reduce the generation or the effects of ros may exert beneficial effects in preventing or arresting oxidative damage . several therapeutic interventions , for example , a vitamin e - like antioxidant , an sod mimetic [ 68 , 69 ] , and an onoo decomposition catalyst have been examined for their beneficial effects against ros in different systems .
phenyl - n - tert - butylnitrone ( pbn ) , a nitrone - based compound , is a potent antioxidant .
pbn has been shown to trap or scavenge a wide variety of free radical species , including biologically relevant o2 and hydroxyl oh radicals ; to increase endogenous antioxidant levels ; and to inhibit free radical generation .
in addition , pbn has been shown to inhibit the expression of a variety of inflammation - associated gene products . in a recent study
, we have shown that pbn treatment of infected mice prevented an oxidative stress - mediated loss in mitochondrial membrane integrity ; preserved redox potential coupled with mitochondrial gene expression , and improved respiratory complex activities in infected myocardium .
importantly , the pbn - mediated normalization of respiratory complex activities led to the inhibition of a feedback cycle of electron transport chain inefficiency , increased ros production , and energy homeostasis in acute chagasic hearts .
others have shown a decline in oxidative stress in human chagasic patients given vitamin a .
we propose that antioxidants capable of modulating or delaying the onset of oxidative insult and mitochondrial deficiencies in the myocardium would prove to be useful in preserving cardiac functions in chagas disease .
approximately 10% of chronic chagasic patients exhibit signs of ischemic disease [ 74 , 75 ] .
the abnormalities during isovolemic contraction and the early relaxation phase , in general ascribed to asynchronous onset of contraction , are noted in chagasic patients , and are similar to that seen in patients with conventional ischemic heart disease of other etiologies .
others have suggested the alterations in the coronary microcirculation contribute to ischemic tissue damage in chronic chagasic patients [ 75 , 7780 ] .
myocardial hypoperfusion owing to an affected microvasculature has also been noted in chagasic heart regions with normal or mildly impaired wall motion [ 75 , 80 ] .
hypoxia is a critical outcome of ischemia . in hypoxic tissues , low availability of oxygen results in electron accumulation in
highly reduced respiratory complexes that lead to severely compromised respiration and atp synthesis [ 8183 ] .
ischemia also influences mitochondrial function via change in calcium flux , cyt c depletion ( reviewed in ) , and decline in intrinsic level of mnsod the mtros scavenger .
the inefficient scavenging of mtros during hypoxia is complemented by increased production of ros at reperfusion .
mitochondrial loss of cyt c is considered to potentate ros production at reperfusion because ( a ) cyt c is a catalytic scavenger for mitochondrial o2 , and ( b ) loss of cyt c results in highly reduced state of respiratory complexes i , ii , and iii , thus , favoring electron release to molecular oxygen and o2 production [ 88 , 89 ] .
these observations suggest that mitochondrial inhibition of respiration and atp synthesis resulting from hypoxia , coupled with an increase in o2 formation and ros - induced injurious effects during reperfusion , potentially contribute to the contractile dysfunction and cell death in chagasic hearts , to be confirmed in future studies .
sustained ros generation of inflammatory and mitochondrial origin , coupled with an inadequate antioxidant response , result in the inefficient scavenging of ros in the heart , and lead to long - term oxidative stress , and subsequently , to oxidative damage of the cardiac cellular components during chagasic disease .
the alterations in biomarkers of oxidant and antioxidant status and in respiratory complex activities in the heart and blood / plasma of infected host appear to have same pathologic tendencies , which led to the suggestion that peripheral blood would be a useful tissue for investigating the pathologic importance of impaired mitochondrial function and oxidant / antioxidant status in chagasic disease development .
further studies should examine the pathological relevance of oxidative stress in clinical severity of chronic heart disease in chagasic patients . | pubmed |
active galactic nuclei ( agn ) mapped in radio waves are an interesting probe of large - scale structure .
they can be routinely detected out to very large redshift ( @xmath6 ) over wide areas of the sky and hence delineate the largest structures and their evolution over cosmic epoch .
radio emission is insensitive to dust obscuration and radio agn are effective tracers of mass : they are uniformly hosted by massive elliptical galaxies and have been shown to trace both clusters ( hill & lilly 1991 ) and superclusters ( brand et al .
2003 ) .
the current generation of wide - area radio surveys such as faint images of the radio sky at twenty centimetres ( first ; becker , white & helfand 1995 ) and the nrao vla sky survey ( nvss ; condon et al . 1998 ) contain radio galaxies in very large numbers ( @xmath7 ) and have allowed accurate measurements of the imprint of radio galaxy angular clustering .
these patterns are considerably harder to detect in radio waves than in optical light due to the huge redshift range that is probed .
whilst this provides access to clustering on the largest scales , it also washes out much of the angular clustering signal through the superposition of unrelated redshift slices .
the angular correlation function was measured for first by cress et al .
( 1996 ) and magliocchetti et al .
( 1998 ) and for nvss by blake & wall ( 2002a ) and overzier et al .
( 2003 ) .
the nvss radio survey , covering @xmath8 per cent of the sky , permits the measurement of fluctuations over very large angles .
blake & wall ( 2002b ) detected the imprint of the cosmological velocity dipole in the nvss surface density , in a direction consistent with the cosmic microwave background ( cmb ) dipole . in this study
we measure the angular power spectrum , @xmath0 , of the radio galaxy distribution ( baleisis et al . 1998 ) .
this statistic represents the source surface - density field as a sum of sinusoidal angular density fluctuations of different wavelengths , using the spherical harmonic functions .
the angular power spectrum is sensitive to large - angle fluctuations and hence complements the measurement of the angular correlation function , @xmath9 , at small angles .
measurement of the @xmath0 spectrum has some advantages in comparison with @xmath9 .
firstly , the error matrix describing correlations between multipoles @xmath10 has a very simple structure , becoming diagonal for a complete sky .
this is not the case for the separation bins in a measurement of @xmath9 : even for a full sky , an individual galaxy appears in many separation bins , automatically inducing correlations between those bins .
secondly , there is a natural relation between the angular power spectrum and the spatial power spectrum of density fluctuations , @xmath11 .
this latter quantity provides a very convenient means of describing structure in the universe for a number of reasons .
firstly its primordial form is produced by models of inflation , which prescribe the initial pattern of density fluctuations @xmath12 .
furthermore , in linear theory for the growth of perturbations , fluctuations described by different wavenumbers @xmath13 evolve independently , enabling the model power spectrum to be easily scaled with redshift .
the physics of linear perturbations are hence more naturally described in fourier space .
in contrast , the angular correlation function is more easily related to the spatial correlation function @xmath14 , the fourier transform of @xmath11 .
correlation functions more naturally serve to describe the real - space profile of collapsing structures evolving out of the linear regime .
we emphasize that although the two functions @xmath0 and @xmath9 are _ theoretically _ equivalent linked by a legendre transform this is not true in an _ observational _ sense .
for example , @xmath9 can only be successfully measured for angles up to a few degrees , but @xmath0 depends on @xmath9 at _ all _ angles .
we derive the angular power spectrum using two independent methods .
firstly we apply a direct spherical harmonic estimator following peebles ( 1973 ) .
secondly , we use maximum likelihood estimation , commonly employed for deriving the angular power spectra of the cmb temperature and polarization maps .
these two methods are described in section [ secmeth ] .
we find that these two approaches yield very similar results ( section [ secres ] ) , which is unsurprising given the wide sky coverage of the nvss . in section [ secpk ] we interpret the nvss angular power spectrum in terms of the underlying spatial power spectrum of mass fluctuations and the radial distribution of radio sources .
finally in section [ secbias ] we employ these models to derive the linear bias factor of nvss radio galaxies by marginalizing over the other model parameters .
the 1.4 ghz nrao vla sky survey ( nvss ; condon et al .
1998 ) was performed at the very large array over the period 1993 to 1996 and covers the sky north of declination @xmath15 .
the source catalogue contains @xmath16 entries and is 99 per cent complete at integrated flux density @xmath17 mjy .
the full width at half - maximum of the synthesized beam is 45 arcsec ; the majority of radio sources are thus unresolved .
the relatively broad nvss beam yields excellent surface brightness sensitivity and photometric completeness . before analyzing the survey for large - scale structure we imposed various angular masks .
firstly we excluded catalogue entries within @xmath18 of the galactic plane , many of which are galactic in origin ( mostly supernova remnants and hii regions ) .
the contribution of foreground galactic sources at latitudes @xmath19 is negligible .
we also placed 22 masks around bright local extended radio galaxies contributing large numbers of catalogue entries , as described in blake & wall ( 2002a ) .
figure [ fignvss ] plots the remaining sources with @xmath20 mjy .
the remaining nvss geometry corresponds to 75 per cent of the celestial sphere .
blake & wall ( 2002a ) demonstrated that the nvss suffers from systematic gradients in surface density at flux - density levels at which it is complete .
these gradients corresponding to a @xmath21 per cent variation in surface density at a threshold of 3 mjy are entirely unimportant for the vast majority of applications of this catalogue .
however , they have a significant influence on the faint imprint of large - scale structure .
if left uncorrected a distortion of the measured angular power spectrum would result , because the harmonic coefficients would need to reproduce the systematic gradients as well as the fluctuations due to clustering .
blake & wall ( 2002a ) found that these surface gradients are only significant at fluxes @xmath22 mjy . at brighter fluxes
the survey is uniform to better than 1 per cent sufficient to allow the detection of the anticipated cosmological velocity dipole ( blake & wall 2002b ) .
hence we simply restricted our @xmath0 analysis to fluxes @xmath23 mjy .
the nvss source surface density at this threshold is @xmath24 deg@xmath25 .
we note that the broadness of the radio luminosity function ensures that the projected clustering properties of radio galaxies are not a strong function of flux density in the range 3 mjy @xmath26 50 mjy , as verified by the correlation function analyses of blake & wall ( 2002a ) and overzier et al .
( 2003 ) . in this flux - density range ,
the redshift distribution of the radio galaxies does not change significantly .
a distribution of galaxies on the sky can be generated in two statistical steps .
firstly , a density field @xmath27 is created ; this may be described in terms of its spherical harmonic coefficients @xmath28 : @xmath29 where @xmath30 are the usual spherical harmonic functions .
secondly , galaxy positions are generated in a poisson process as a ( possibly biased ) realization of this density field .
the angular power spectrum @xmath0 prescribes the spherical harmonic coefficients in the first step of this model .
it is defined over many realizations of the density field by @xmath31 the assumption of isotropy ensures that @xmath32 is a function of only @xmath10 , not @xmath33 .
the angular power spectrum @xmath0 is theoretically equivalent to the angular correlation function @xmath9 as a description of the galaxy distribution .
the two quantities are connected by the well - known relation @xmath34 where @xmath35 is the source surface density and @xmath36 is the legendre polynomial .
however , the angular scales on which the signal - to - noise is highest are very different for each statistic .
@xmath9 can only be measured accurately at small angles up to a few degrees ( blake & wall 2002a ) , beyond which poisson noise dominates .
by contrast , @xmath0 for galaxies has highest signal - to - noise at small @xmath10 , corresponding to large angular scales @xmath37 . hence the two statistics are complementary , the @xmath0 spectrum probing fluctuations on the largest angular scales .
peebles ( 1973 ) presented the formalism of spherical harmonic analysis of a galaxy distribution over an incomplete sky ( for refinements see e.g. wright et al .
1994 ; wandelt , hivon & gorski 2000 ) . for a partial sky ,
a spherical harmonic analysis is hindered by the fact that the spherical harmonics are not an orthonormal basis , which causes the measured coefficients @xmath28 to be statistically correlated , entangling different multipoles of the underlying @xmath0 spectrum .
however , for the case of a survey covering @xmath38 of the sky , the repercussions ( discussed below ) are fairly negligible , implying shifts and correlations in the derived power spectrum that are far smaller than the error bars .
we employed the original method of peebles ( 1973 ) with only one small correction for sample variance . in section [ secmaxlik ]
we compare spherical harmonic analysis with the technique of maximum likelihood estimation and find that the two methods yield results in good agreement .
the spherical harmonic coefficients of the density field may be estimated by summing over the @xmath39 galaxy positions @xmath40 : @xmath41 for an incomplete sky , these values need to be corrected for the unsurveyed regions , so that an estimate of @xmath0 is @xmath42 ( peebles 1973 equation 50 ) where @xmath43 and @xmath44 @xmath45 where the integrals are over the survey area @xmath46 , and are determined in our analysis by numerical integration .
the final term in equation [ eqclpeeb ] corrects for the finite number of discrete sources : for a full sky ( @xmath47 ) we expect @xmath48 in the absence of clustering , i.e. this is the power spectrum of the shot noise
. note that @xmath35 is the apparent source density @xmath49 , not the average over an imagined ensemble of catalogues .
we determined the angular power spectrum for the @xmath10th multipole , @xmath50 , by averaging equation [ eqclpeeb ] over @xmath33 . because the density field is real rather than complex , @xmath51 , resulting in @xmath52 independent measurements of @xmath0 : @xmath53
there is no need for us to use the modified weighting formula of peebles ( 1973 equation 53 ) . in our case
, @xmath54 does not vary significantly with @xmath33 .
we verified that the modified weighting formula produced indistinguishable results .
one consequence of the partial sky is to `` mix '' the harmonic coefficients such that the measured angular power spectrum at @xmath10 depends on a range of @xmath55 around @xmath56 : @xmath57 the angled brackets refer to an imagined averaging over many realizations of density fields generated by @xmath0 , in accordance with equation [ eqcldef ] .
peebles showed that @xmath58 ; i.e. mixing does not spuriously enhance the measured power ( this is accomplished by the factor @xmath54 in equation [ eqclpeeb ] ) . for a complete sky , @xmath59 , where @xmath60 ( @xmath61 ) or 0 ( @xmath62 ) . for a partial sky ,
the matrix @xmath63 can be computed from the geometry of the surveyed region ( hauser & peebles 1973 ) .
figure [ figrll ] illustrates the result for the nvss for @xmath64 ( computed using hauser & peebles 1973 equation 12 ) .
the nvss covers a sufficiently large fraction of the sky ( 75 per cent ) that mixing only occurs at the @xmath65 per cent level and can be neglected because the underlying @xmath0 spectrum is smooth : @xmath66 we checked the nvss @xmath63 matrix for other multipoles @xmath10 and found very similar results .
this argument ensures that the measured multipoles are statistically independent to a good approximation .
the statistical error on the estimator of equation [ eqclpeeb ] is @xmath67 ( peebles 1973 equation 81 ) .
there are two components of the error : * `` shot noise '' ( @xmath35 ) because the number of discrete objects is finite and therefore does not perfectly describe the underlying density field .
* `` cosmic variance '' ( @xmath0 ) because even with perfect sampling of the density field , there are only a finite number of harmonics associated with the @xmath10th multipole . the error for the @xmath68 case in equation [ eqclsig ] is greater because @xmath69 is purely real , rather than complex . in the latter case
, we are averaging over the real and imaginary parts of @xmath70 , two independent estimates of @xmath0 , which reduces the overall statistical error by a factor @xmath71 . for a partial sky equation [ eqclsig ]
is an approximation , because the variance of multipoles of given @xmath10 depends on the underlying power spectrum at @xmath72 . as discussed above , this effect is negligible for the nvss .
the averaging over @xmath33 ( equation [ eqclobs ] ) decreases the error in the observation .
combining the errors of equation [ eqclsig ] , assuming estimates at different @xmath33 are statistically independent , the resulting error in @xmath50 is @xmath73 we used monte carlo simulations to verify that equation [ eqclerr ] produced results within 5 per cent of the true error for all relevant multipoles .
our only addition to the formalism of peebles ( 1973 ) was to increase the total variance on the estimate of @xmath0 by a factor @xmath74 , where @xmath75 is the fraction of sky covered ( i.e. multiply equation [ eqclerr ] by @xmath76 ) .
this correction factor was motivated by scott , srednicki and white ( 1994 ) as a fundamental property of sample variance for a partial sky , and is part of the standard cmb formalism ( e.g. bond , efstathiou & tegmark 1997 ) . for the nvss geometry , @xmath77 ,
thus this correction corresponds to a @xmath78 per cent increase in the error .
radio sources have complex morphologies and large linear sizes ( up to and exceeding 1 mpc ) . a radio - source catalogue such as
the nvss will contain entries which are different components of the same galaxy ( for example , the two radio lobes of a `` classical double '' radio galaxy ) .
the broad angular resolution of the nvss beam leaves over 90 per cent of radio sources unresolved ; however , the remaining multiple - component sources have a small but measurable effect on the angular power spectrum .
it is relatively simple to model the effect of multiple - component sources on the estimator for @xmath0 described in section [ secestharm ] .
the relevant angular scales ( @xmath79 ) are much bigger than any component separation , and equation [ eqalm ] can be replaced by @xmath80 where @xmath81 is the total number of galaxies and @xmath82 is the number of components of the @xmath83th galaxy .
thus the quantity @xmath84 is unchanged by the presence of multiple components ( @xmath85 denotes the average number of components per galaxy , and @xmath86 is the total number of catalogue entries , as in equation [ eqalm ] ) . but
@xmath87 in equation [ eqclpeeb ] depends on @xmath88 multiple - component sources only affect the first term in this expression , producing an offset in the @xmath0 spectrum @xmath89 but @xmath90 from equation [ eqjlm ] , and this expression simplifies to an offset independent of @xmath10 : @xmath91 most multiple - component sources in the nvss catalogue are double radio sources . let a fraction @xmath92 of the radio galaxies be doubles .
then @xmath93 and @xmath94 , thus the constant offset may be written @xmath95 we can deduce @xmath96 from the form of the nvss angular correlation function @xmath9 at small angles @xmath97 , where double sources dominate the close pairs ( see blake & wall 2002a and also section [ secalm ] ) .
this correction was applied to the measured nvss @xmath0 spectrum and successfully removed the small systematic offset in @xmath0 at high @xmath10 .
a sophisticated suite of analytical tools has been developed by the cmb community for deriving the angular power spectra of the observed cmb temperature and polarization maps .
these methods can also be exploited to analyze galaxy data ( see for example efstathiou & moody 2001 , huterer , knox & nichol 2001 and tegmark et al .
2002 ) . in this approach the power spectrum
is determined using an iterative maximum likelihood analysis , in contrast to the direct estimator discussed in section [ secestharm ] .
the likelihood is a fundamental statistical quantity , and this analysis method permits straightforward control of such issues as edge effects , noise correlations and systematic errors . the starting point for maximum likelihood estimation ( mle ) is bayes theorem @xmath98 where @xmath99 are the parameters one is trying determine , @xmath100 is the data and @xmath101 is the additional information describing the problem .
the quantity @xmath102 is the likelihood , i.e. the probability of the data given a specific set of parameters , while the left - hand side is the posterior , i.e. the probability of the parameters given the data .
we will assume that the sky is a realization of a stationary gaussian process , with an angular power spectrum @xmath0 .
we assume no cosmological information about the distribution of the @xmath0 .
the rendition of the sky will be a pixelized map , created by binning the galaxy data in equal - area cells such that the count in the @xmath83th cell is @xmath103 , effectively constructing a `` temperature map '' of galaxy surface density .
we performed this task using the healpix software package ( gorksi , hivon & wandelt 1999 ; http://www.eso.org/science/healpix ) .
we chose the healpix pixelization scheme @xmath104 , which corresponds to 12,288 pixels over a full sky .
the angular power spectrum may be safely extracted to multipole @xmath105 .
we then defined a data vector : @xmath106 where @xmath107 is the mean count per pixel .
figure [ fighist ] demonstrates that the data vector @xmath108 for the nvss sample is well - approximated by a gaussian distribution , as assumed in a maximum likelihood analysis .
the covariance matrix @xmath109 due to primordial fluctuations is given by @xmath110 where @xmath36 is the legendre polynomial and @xmath111 is the angle between pixel pair @xmath112 . in order to apply a likelihood analysis
we must also specify a noise covariance matrix @xmath113 .
we modelled the noise as a gaussian random process with variance @xmath114 , uncorrelated between pixels , such that @xmath115 .
the likelihood of the map , with a particular power spectrum @xmath0 , is given by @xmath116\ ] ] the goal of mle is to maximize this function , and the fastest general method is to use newton - raphson iteration to find the zeroes of the derivatives in @xmath117 with respect to @xmath0 .
we used the madcap package ( borrill 1999 ; http://www.nersc.gov/@xmath118borrill/cmb/madcap ) to derive the maximum likelihood banded angular power spectrum from the pixelized galaxy map and noise matrix .
madcap is a parallel implementation of the bond , jaffe & knox ( 1998 ) maximum - likelihood algorithms for the analysis of cmb datasets .
we ran the analysis software on the supercomputer seaborg , administered by the national energy research scientific computing centre ( nersc ) at lawrence berkeley national laboratory , california .
we again applied equation [ eqcldoub ] to the madcap results to correct the measured power spectrum for the influence of multiple - component sources .
boughn & crittenden ( 2002 ) also performed a healpix analysis of the nvss as part of a cross - correlation analysis with the cmb searching for evidence of the integrated sachs - wolfe effect . from the pixelized map they derived an angular correlation function for the nvss , which they used to constrain theoretical models
we compare their results with ours in section [ secbias ] .
we tested the two methods , direct spherical harmonic and maximum likelihood estimation , by generating a dipole distribution of @xmath119 sources over the nvss geometry , where the model dipole possessed the same amplitude and direction as that detected in the nvss ( see blake & wall 2002b ) . in order to simulate multiple components , we added companion sources to @xmath120 per cent of the objects , with the same separation distribution as that measured in the nvss ( blake & wall 2002a ) .
the two measurements of the @xmath0 spectrum , corrected for multiple components using equation [ eqcldoub ] , are plotted in figure [ figcltest ] and are consistent with zero .
the @xmath0 measurements have been averaged into bands of width @xmath121 , starting from @xmath122 .
the dipole term @xmath123 is of course spuriously high , but has a negligible effect on the measured harmonics at @xmath124 the galaxy dipole ( unlike the cmb dipole ) is only barely detectable in current surveys ( blake & wall 2002b ) .
the normalization convention used in figure [ figcltest ] , and the remaining power spectrum plots , is to expand the surface overdensity @xmath125 in terms of spherical harmonics . to convert from the definition of @xmath0 in equations [ eqsigylm ] and [ eqcldef ] we simply divide @xmath70 by @xmath35 ( in units of sr@xmath126 ) and hence @xmath0 by @xmath127 .
figure [ figcltest ] permits a first comparison of the two independent methods of estimating @xmath0 . at low @xmath10 ,
the variances are in excellent agreement .
as @xmath10 approaches @xmath128 , the variance of the maximum likelihood method begins to exceed that of the spherical harmonic analysis .
this occurs as the resolution of the pixelization scheme becomes important : the angular pixel size is no longer much less than the characteristic angular scale probed by the @xmath10th multipole .
the variance of the high @xmath10 bins could be reduced by adopting a finer pixelization , such as @xmath129 , with the penalty of a rapidly increasing requirement of supercomputer time .
given that the signal in the nvss angular power spectrum turns out to be confined to @xmath130 , our optimum pixelization remains @xmath104 .
moreover , higher pixel resolution would decrease the mean pixel count @xmath107 in equation [ eqdata ] , rendering a gaussian distribution a poorer approximation for @xmath108 .
figure [ figcl ] plots the nvss angular power spectrum measured for flux - density threshold @xmath131 mjy using both spherical harmonic analysis and maximum likelihood estimation .
the constant offset due to double sources ( equation [ eqcldoub ] ) has been subtracted and the measurements are averaged into bands of width @xmath121 , starting from @xmath132 .
measurements are plotted up to @xmath133 , although note that the variance of the maximum likelihood estimation is increased by pixelization effects above @xmath134 , as discussed in section [ sectest ] .
table [ tabcl ] lists the plotted data .
figure [ figclcmb ] displays the same data scaled by the usual cmb normalization factor , @xmath135
. .data table of banded nvss @xmath0 values plotted in figure [ figcl ] .
the offset due to double sources is @xmath136 . [
cols="^,^,^,^ " , ] we assumed that the primordial matter power spectrum is a featureless power - law , @xmath137 . on very large scales , the only alteration to this spectrum in linear theory will be an amplitude change due to the growth factor .
however , during the epoch of radiation domination , growth of fluctuations on scales less than the horizon scale is suppressed by radiation pressure .
this process is described by the transfer function @xmath138 , such that the present - day linear matter power spectrum is given by @xmath139 accurate fitting formulae have been developed for the transfer function @xmath138 in terms of the cosmological parameters ( eisenstein & hu 1998 ) , which we employed in our analysis ( these fitting formulae assume adiabatic perturbations ) . in our fiducial cosmological model , we fixed the values of the cosmological parameters at @xmath140 , @xmath141 and @xmath142 ( spergel et al .
2003 , table 7 , column 3 ) .
we also chose a primordial spectral index @xmath143 ( spergel et al .
2003 ) , which is close to the predictions of standard inflationary models .
we consider the effect of variations in these parameter values in section [ secbias ] .
we assumed that the universe is flat , with the remaining energy density provided by a cosmological constant @xmath144 .
there are at least two independent ways of estimating the amplitude @xmath145 in equation [ eqpkmod ] .
firstly we can use constraints on the number density of massive clusters at low redshift , expressed in terms of @xmath4 , the rms fluctuation of mass in spheres of radius @xmath146 mpc : @xmath147 ^ 2 \ , dk \label{eqsigsq}\ ] ] for example , viana & liddle ( 1999 ) determined the most likely value of @xmath4 using this method to be @xmath148 .
alternatively , @xmath145 can be expressed in terms of the amplitude of fluctuations at the hubble radius , @xmath149 , and constrained by measurements of cmb anisotropies on large angular scales : @xmath150 for example , bunn & white ( 1997 ) give the best - fitting constraint on @xmath149 and @xmath151 for flat models ( @xmath152 ) based on results of the cobe dmr experiment : @xmath153 with a maximum @xmath154 statistical uncertainty of 7 per cent . for our fiducial cosmological parameters , a ( reasonably ) consistent cosmology is produced if @xmath155 ( i.e. @xmath156 ) .
we assumed this fiducial normalization in our model , noting that the value of @xmath4 is in fact degenerate with the amplitude of a constant linear bias factor @xmath157 .
equation [ eqpkmod ] is only valid ignoring non - linear effects , which will boost the value of @xmath11 on small scales as modes commence non - linear collapse .
we incorporated non - linear corrections using the fitting formula provided by peacock & dodds ( 1996 ) .
the resulting model power spectrum is shown in figure [ figpkmod ] .
strictly , this modification violates the assumption of linear evolution implicit in equation [ eqdz ] .
however , this is not significant in our analysis because the small scales for which non - linear evolution is important are only significant in the projection at @xmath158 .
the projection of the spatial power spectrum onto the sky depends on the radial distribution of the sources under consideration , which may be deduced from their redshift distribution .
we only need to know the probability distribution @xmath159 of the sources ( equation [ eqrad ] ) , the absolute normalization is not important .
unfortunately , the radial distribution of mjy radio sources is not yet accurately known .
the majority of radio galaxies are located at cosmological distances ( @xmath160 ) and their host galaxies are optically very faint . however , models exist of the radio luminosity function of agn ( i.e. the co - moving space density of objects as a function of radio luminosity and redshift ) , from which the redshift distribution at any flux - density threshold can be inferred .
such models have been published by dunlop & peacock ( 1990 ) and willott et al .
these luminosity function models are by necessity constrained by relatively bright radio sources ( @xmath161 mjy ) and the extrapolation to nvss flux - density levels must be regarded as very uncertain .
the willott model is constrained by a larger number of spectroscopic redshifts , and the samples of radio sources used provide fuller coverage of the luminosity - redshift plane ( thus the required extrapolation to @xmath131 mjy is less severe ) .
however , the willott samples are selected at low frequency ( 151 and 178 mhz ) , necessitating a large extrapolation to the nvss observing frequency of 1.4 ghz .
the dunlop & peacock models are constrained at high frequencies , but treat steep - spectrum and flat - spectrum radio sources as independent populations , which is inconsistent with current ideas concerning the unification of radio agn ( e.g. jackson & wall 1999 ) . in addition , they were computed for cosmological parameters @xmath162 , @xmath163 rather than the currently favoured `` @xmath164cdm '' cosmology .
furthermore , none of the aforementioned luminosity function models incorporate starburst galaxies , which contribute in significant numbers to the radio galaxy population mix at @xmath5 for flux - density threshold @xmath165 mjy .
direct measurements of @xmath159 are currently only achievable at low redshifts ( @xmath166 ) , where comparison with large optical galaxy redshift surveys is possible ( sadler et al . 2002 ; magliocchetti et al .
we matched the nvss 10 mjy catalogue with the final data release of the 2df galaxy redshift survey ( 2dfgrs , available online at http://msowww.anu.edu.au/2dfgrs/ , also see colless et al .
2001 ) , in order to estimate @xmath159 at low redshift . as our fiducial model , we fitted the resulting redshift histogram with the simplest possible function , a constant @xmath167 over the range @xmath168 . in section [ secbias ]
we include the effect of variations in this model .
we only considered the redshift range @xmath169 in this analysis because at @xmath170 , the ( very luminous ) optical counterparts of the 10 mjy nvss sources begin slipping below the 2dfgrs magnitude threshold , which we verified by plotting the magnitudes of matched 2dfgrs galaxies against redshift .
having determined the value of @xmath171 , we created the full redshift distribution by assigning the remaining probability @xmath172 over the redshift range @xmath173 in proportion to the prediction of the dunlop & peacock ( 1990 ) luminosity function models .
for this investigation we used the average of the seven models provided by dunlop & peacock . assuming the willott et al .
( 2001 ) radial distribution for @xmath173 made a negligible difference to the results ( because most of the contribution to the @xmath0 spectrum arises at low redshifts , see section [ secclpred ] ) . matching nvss catalogue entries brighter than @xmath174 mjy with
the 2dfgrs database yielded @xmath175 identifications with redshifts @xmath169 , using matching tolerance 10 arcsec ( see sadler et al .
we restricted the 2dfgrs sample to `` high quality '' spectra ( @xmath176 ) .
an estimate of the probability of an nvss source being located at @xmath169 is @xmath177 where @xmath178 deg@xmath25 is the surface density of nvss sources brighter than 10 mjy , and @xmath179 is the 2dfgrs area under consideration , which ( owing to the varying angular completeness ) is not trivial to calculate .
we followed sadler et al .
( 2002 ) by dividing the number of 2dfgrs galaxies contained in the nvss geometry by the 2dfgrs surface density @xmath180 deg@xmath25 , resulting in an effective area @xmath181 deg@xmath182 .
the result , @xmath183 ( per unit redshift ) , is a significant underestimate for various reasons : * incompletenesses in the 2dfgrs input catalogue ( @xmath184 ) .
* input catalogue galaxies unable to be assigned a 2df spectrograph fibre ( @xmath185 ) .
* observed 2dfgrs spectra with insufficient quality ( @xmath186 ) to determine a redshift ( @xmath187 ) . *
extended radio sources with catalogue entries located more than 10 arcsec from the optical counterpart ( @xmath188 ) .
the estimated correction factors in brackets were obtained from colless et al .
( 2001 ) and from carole jackson ( priv . comm . ) .
multiplying these corrections implies a total incompleteness of @xmath189 , and on this basis we increased the value of @xmath171 to @xmath190 .
figure [ fignz ] plots 2dfgrs - nvss matches in redshift bins of width @xmath191 , together with the low - redshift fit described above .
a constant @xmath159 is a fairly good approximation at low redshifts ( @xmath192 ) .
this flat distribution arises because the overall redshift distribution is a sum of that due to agn and that due to starburst galaxies ; @xmath159 increases with @xmath193 for the agn , but decreases with @xmath193 for the starbursters .
figure [ fignz ] also displays the predictions of the luminosity function models of dunlop & peacock ( 1990 ) and willott ( 2001 ) . as explained above
, the large extrapolations involved render these models a poor fit to the redshift distribution at mjy flux levels , and their use without modification at low redshift would have caused significant error .
we used equation [ eqpktocl ] to predict the @xmath0 spectrum from our fiducial models of the spatial power spectrum ( section [ secpkmod ] ) and the radial distribution of the sources ( section [ secnz ] ) .
we found that a good match to the measured angular power spectrum resulted if the nvss sources were assigned a constant linear bias factor @xmath194 ( figure [ figclmod ] ) ; @xmath195 provides a very poor fit to the results .
the bias factor of the radio galaxies is analyzed more thoroughly in section [ secbias ] .
we note that these measurements of the radio galaxy @xmath0 spectrum at low @xmath10 are _ not _ directly probing the large - scale , small @xmath13 , region of the power spectrum @xmath11 .
investigation of the integrands of equations [ eqclkapp ] and [ eqclxapp ] revealed that the majority of the signal is built up at low redshift , @xmath196 ( see figure [ figkz ] ) , where small - scale spatial power is able to contribute on large angular scales ( i.e. contribute to low multipoles ) .
higher redshift objects principally serve to dilute the clustering amplitude .
this is unfortunate : the potential of radio galaxies distributed to @xmath160 to probe _ directly _ the large - scale power spectrum is forfeited by projection effects . in order to realize this potential , we must measure redshifts for the nvss sources .
a three - dimensional map extending to @xmath160 would directly yield @xmath11 on large scales , defining the `` turn - over '' sketched in figure [ figpkmod ] .
the enhanced radio galaxy bias apparent in figure [ figclmod ] is consistent with the nature of agn host galaxies : optically luminous ellipticals inhabiting moderate to rich environments .
similarly high radio galaxy bias factors have been inferred from measurements of the spatial power spectrum of low - redshift radio galaxies ( peacock & dodds 1994 ) and from deprojection of the nvss angular correlation function @xmath9 ( blake & wall 2002a ; overzier et al .
2003 ) . furthermore , boughn & crittenden ( 2002 ) cross - correlated nvss and cmb overdensities in a search for the integrated sachs - wolfe effect ( see also nolta et al .
their analysis included fitting theoretical models to the nvss angular correlation function .
they derived good fits for a slightly lower linear bias factor than ours , @xmath197 .
this difference is due to the assumed redshift distribution .
boughn & crittenden also used the dunlop & peacock ( 1990 ) average model , but we corrected this model using observational data at low redshifts @xmath169 .
as can be seen from figure [ fignz ] , our correction reduces the number of low - redshift sources , necessitating a higher bias factor to recover the same angular correlations . in order to derive a formal confidence interval for the linear bias parameter @xmath3 we must incorporate the effects of uncertainties in the underlying model parameters ( by marginalizing over those parameters ) . with this in mind
, we assumed gaussian priors for hubble s constant @xmath198 , for the matter density @xmath199 , and for the primordial spectral index @xmath200 .
the widths of these priors were inspired by the cosmological parameter analysis combining the wmap satellite observations of the cmb and the 2dfgrs galaxy power spectrum ( spergel et al . 2003 , table 7 , column 3 ) and are a good representation of our current knowledge of the cosmological model . in addition , we considered variations in the model for the radial distribution of nvss sources at low redshift ( section [ secnz ] ) , using a more general fitting formula @xmath201 to describe the probability distribution for @xmath169 . for each pair of values of @xmath202 we derived the chi - squared statistic between the model and the observations , @xmath203 , which we converted into an ( unnormalized ) probability density @xmath204 .
our model is thus specified by values of ( @xmath3 , @xmath205 , @xmath206 , @xmath151 , @xmath207 , @xmath208 ) from which we can calculate a model @xmath0 spectrum and hence a chi - squared statistic with the observations , @xmath209 , corresponding to a probability density @xmath210 .
we used the spherical harmonic estimation of the @xmath0 spectrum as the observational data . after multiplying @xmath211 by the redshift distribution probability density @xmath212 and the gaussian prior probability densities for @xmath205 , @xmath206 and @xmath151 , we derived the probability distribution for @xmath3 by integrating over each of the other parameters .
we do not marginalize over the normalization of the matter power spectrum , @xmath4 , because this quantity is degenerate with @xmath3 ( using equations [ eqrad ] , [ eqclxapp ] and [ eqsigsq ] : @xmath213 ) .
the resulting normalized probability distribution for @xmath214 is displayed in figure [ figb0 ] , from which we determined a @xmath1 confidence region @xmath215 . when combined with the wmap determination of @xmath216 ( spergel et al .
2003 ) , we infer that @xmath217 .
this investigation has measured the angular power spectrum of radio galaxies for the first time , yielding consistent results through the application of two independent methods : direct spherical harmonic analysis and maximum likelihood estimation .
the nvss covers a sufficient fraction of sky ( @xmath8 per cent ) that spherical harmonic analysis is very effective , with minimal correlations amongst different multipoles .
the form of the @xmath0 spectrum can be reproduced by standard models for the present - day spatial power spectrum and for the radial distribution of nvss sources provided that this latter is modified at low redshift through comparison with optical galaxy redshift surveys .
the results strongly indicate that radio galaxies possess high bias with respect to matter fluctuations .
a constant linear bias @xmath194 permits a good fit , and by marginalizing over the other parameters of the model we deduce a @xmath1 confidence interval @xmath215 where @xmath4 describes the normalization of the matter power spectrum .
we find that the majority of the angular power spectrum signal is generated at low redshifts , @xmath5 .
therefore , in order to exploit the potential of radio galaxies to probe spatial fluctuations on the largest scales , we require individual redshifts for the nvss sources .
we thank jasper wall and steve rawlings for helpful comments on earlier drafts of this paper .
we acknowledge valuable discussions with carole jackson concerning cross - matching the nvss and 2dfgrs source catalogues .
we are grateful to sarah bridle for useful guidance on marginalizing over the cosmological model .
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Dunphy's sign is a medical sign characterized by increased abdominal pain with coughing. It may be an indicator of appendicitis. Named after Osborne Joby Dunphy 18981989, a British-American physician.
References
Category:Medical signs | wikipedia |
one of the most challenging problems in modern physics is the unification of the gravitational interaction with other known interactions in nature .
many attempts , from early kaluza - klein theory @xcite to present supergravity and superstring theories , all involve going to higher dimensions and postulating the existence of extra spatial dimensions .
the modern view regarding these postulated extra dimensions is that they are a physical reality , rather than merely a technical intermediate device for obtaining rather complicated four - dimensional theories from simpler lagrangians in higher dimensions .
if these extra dimensions really exist , one must explain why they are not seen .
the usual answer is that they curl into an extremely small compactified manifold , possibly as small as the planck length scale , @xmath0 cm .
therefore low - energy physics should be insensitive to them until distances of the compactification scale are being probed .
in general , one has the possibility of observing the presence of the extra dimensions in a scattering experiment in which energies greater than that associated with the compactification scale are achieved .
various upper bounds have been put on the size of possible extra dimensions @xcite .
for example , an upper bound of @xmath1 1 tev was given in orbifold compactifications of superstrings @xcite .
however , if only gravity propagates in the extra dimensions , the upper bound can be much larger .
a recent proposal is that the fundamental scale of quantum gravity can be as low as few tev and the observed weakness of gravity is the result of large extra dimensions in which only gravity can propagate @xcite .
this scenario could be realized in the context of several string models @xcite in which one has a set of three - branes ( 3 + 1 dimensional spacetime ) in the entire spacetime with extra dimensions .
the standard model particles are confined to one of the branes , while gravitons propagate freely in the entire bulk .
the size of extra dimensions could then be as large as 1 mm in this type of model .
extra dimensions of sufficiently large size may manifest themselves in particle colliders@xcite and in the possible deviation from newton s law at short distances@xcite , and they may also have implications in gauge unification@xcite and cosmology@xcite . however , a question arises naturally as to whether there are any lower bounds on the sizes of extra dimensions .
it is the common belief that the existence of extra dimensions has no effect on low - energy physics as long as they are extremely small .
recently , we have argued that this is not the case , because of lightcone fluctuations arising from the quantum gravitational vacuum fluctuations due to compactification of spatial dimensions @xcite .
an explicit calculation was carried out in the five - dimensional prototypical kaluza - klein model which showed that the periodic compactification of the extra spatial dimensions gives rise to stochastic fluctuations in the apparent speed of light which grow as the compactification scale decreases and are in principle observable .
basically , the smaller the size of the compactified dimensions , the larger are the fluctuations that result .
this is closely related to the casimir effect , the vacuum energy occurring whenever boundary conditions are imposed on a quantum field .
the gravitational casimir energy in the five - dimensional case with one compactified spatial dimension was studied in @xcite , where a nonzero energy density was found , which tends to make the extra dimension contract .
this raises the question of stability of the extra dimensions .
it is possible , however , that the casimir energy arising from the quantum gravitational field and other matter fields may be made to cancel each other @xcite , thus stabilizing the extra dimensions .
quantum lightcone fluctuations due to the compactification of spatial dimensions @xcite , although similar in nature to the casimir effect , come solely from gravitons . hence , no similar cancellation is to be expected . in an earlier work @xcite , we examined lightcone fluctuation in a five - dimensional model with periodic compactification .
we found that there seem to be observable effects which essentially rule out this model .
that is , we derived a lower bound on the compactification scale which is larger than upper bounds derived from other considerations .
the purpose of the present paper is threefold : to further develop the basic formalism , to provide more details of the five - dimensional calculation , and to extend the analysis to some higher dimensional models . in section
ii , we give a brief review of the formalism , discuss the observability of lightcone fluctuations , and derive the graviton two - point functions in the transverse tracefree gauge for spacetimes with an arbitrary number of dimensions ( detailed calculations will given in the appendix ) . in section iii
, we examine light cone fluctuations in spacetimes with extra dimensions periodically compactified into a torus .
the five - dimensional prototypical kaluza - klein model , of which some results have already been reported , will be studied in great detail .
higher dimensions up through 11 will also be discussed .
section iv deals with light cone fluctuations in the brane - world scenario , as motivated by a recent proposal of extra dimensions of macroscopic size .
we will summarize and conclude in section v.
to begin , let us examine a @xmath2 dimensional spacetime with @xmath3 extra dimensions . consider a flat background spacetime with a linearized perturbation @xmath4 propagating upon it , so the spacetime metric may be written as @xmath5 where the indices @xmath6 run through @xmath7 .
let @xmath8 be one half of the squared geodesic distance between a pair of spacetime points @xmath9 and @xmath10 , and @xmath11 be the corresponding quantity in the flat background . in the presence of a linearized metric perturbation , @xmath4
, we may expand @xmath12 here @xmath13 is first order in @xmath4 .
if we quantize @xmath4 , then quantum gravitational vacuum fluctuations will lead to fluctuations in the geodesic separation , and therefore induce lightcone fluctuations .
in particular , we have @xmath14 , since @xmath13 becomes a quantum operator when the metric perturbations are quantized .
the quantum lightcone fluctuations give rise to stochastic fluctuations in the speed of light , which may produce an observable time delay or advance @xmath15 in the arrival times of pulses . here
, we shall discuss how light cone fluctuations characterized by @xmath16 are related to physical observable quantities .
for this purpose , let us consider the propagation of light pulses between a source and a detector separated by a distance @xmath17 on a flat background with quantized linear perturbations .
for a pulse which is delayed or advanced by time @xmath15 , which is much less than @xmath17 , one finds = _ 0+_1+ .... =12[(r+t)^2-r^2]rt .
[ eq : separation ] square the above equation and take the average over a given quantum state of gravitons @xmath18 ( e.g. the vacuum states associated with compactification of spatial dimensions ) , t_^2=| _ 1 ^ 2 |r^2 .
[ eq : tphi ] this result is , however , divergent due to the formal divergence of @xmath19 .
one can define an observable @xmath20 by subtracting from eq .
( [ eq : tphi ] ) the corresponding quantity , @xmath21 , for the vacuum state as follows t_obs^2=|t_^2-t_0 ^ 2 |= || _ 1 ^ 2 |-0| _ 1 ^ 2 @xmath22 and @xmath21 , because the observable quantity @xmath23 has to be a positive real number .
note that we can also get this result from the gravitational quantum average of the retarded green s function @xmath24 when @xmath25@xcite .
therefore , the root - mean - squared deviation from the classical propagation time is given by t_obs= r. [ eq : mdt ] at this point , a question may arise as to whether the formal procedure of taking the absolute value in deriving the relation between @xmath15 and @xmath26 , eq .
( [ eq : mdt ] ) , is a reasonable one , or whether a meaningful relation between @xmath15 and @xmath26 can be established only when @xmath25 .
we shall argue that a result essentially the same as eq .
( [ eq : mdt ] ) can be obtained by the following analysis which avoids the sign problem . instead of squaring the eq .
( [ eq : separation ] ) , we take the fourth power of both sides and average over a quantum vacuum state to yield t_^4=| _ 1 ^ 4 |r^4 .
[ eq : tphi4 ] we can regularize @xmath27 by normal ordering and define | _ 1 ^ 4 |_r= | : _ 1 ^ 4 :| . for a free field @xmath28 and a quantum vacuum state one can show by use of wick s theorem that : ^4 : = 3:^2 : ^2=3 ^ 2 _ r ^2 . therefore one finds that t_obs= 3 ^ 1/4r .
this is essentially the same as eq .
( [ eq : mdt ] ) , apart from a dimensionless factor of order unity .
we should note that there may be other ways to define the quartic operator , @xmath29 .
one possibility is to let @xmath30 , provided that the integrals involved can be defined .
both of these definitions were discussed in ref .
there it was found in some model cases that the two definitions yield the same result , apart from numerical factors of order unity , which are not important for the present purposes .
note that @xmath15 is the ensemble averaged deviation , not necessarily the expected variation in flight time , @xmath31 , of two pulses emitted close together in time .
the latter is given by @xmath15 only when the correlation time between successive pulses is less than the time separation of the pulses .
this can be understood physically as due to the fact that the gravitational field may not fluctuate significantly in the interval between the two pulses .
this point is discussed in detail in ref .
these stochastic fluctuations in the apparent velocity of light arising from quantum gravitational fluctuations are in principle observable , since they may lead to a spread in the arrival times of pulses from distant astrophysical sources , or the broadening of the spectral lines .
lightcone fluctuations and their possible astrophysical observability have been recently discussed in a somewhat different framework in refs .
@xcite . in order to find @xmath15 in a particular situation
, we need to calculate the quantum expectation value @xmath26 in any chosen quantum state @xmath32 , which can be shown to be given by@xcite _
1 ^ 2 _ r = 18(r)^2 _ r_0^r_1 dr
_ r_0^r_1 dr n^ n^ n^ n^ g^r_(x , x ) .
[ eq : interval ] here @xmath33 , @xmath34 and @xmath35 .
the integration is taken along the null geodesic connecting two points @xmath9 and @xmath10 , and g^r_(x , x)= | h_(x ) h_(x)+ h_(x ) h_(x)| is the graviton hadamard function , understood to be suitably renormalized .
the gauge invariance of @xmath15 , as given by eq .
( [ eq : mdt ] ) , has been analyzed recently @xcite . in this subsection
, we wish to rederive @xmath15 using the geodesic deviation equation .
this derivation allows us to see the gauge invariance more clearly , and to discuss the issue of lorentz invariance of lightcone fluctuations .
let us consider a pair of timelike geodesics with tangent vector @xmath36 , and @xmath37 as a unit spacelike vector pointing from one geodesic to the other ( see fig .
1 ) . = 1.4 in the geodesic deviation equation is given by = -r^_u^n^u^ , where @xmath38 is the riemann tensor .
the relative acceleration per unit proper length of particles on the neighboring geodesics is n_d^2n^d^2= -r_n^u^n^u^. thus if @xmath39 is the spatial distance between the two particles , then @xmath40 is their relative acceleration .
it follows that the relative change in displacement of the two particles after a proper time @xmath41 is ds^t_0d^_0d ( ,0 ) , now consider the case of two observers ( particles ) separated by a finite initial distance @xmath42 as illustrated in fig .
( [ geodesic2 ] ) .
= 2.2in=2.0 in we can find the relative change in displacement of these two observers by integrating on @xmath43 : s = ^s_0_0ds^t_0d^_0d ( ,0 ) .
this is the relative displacement measured at the same moment of proper time for both observers .
let us now consider a light signal sent from one observer to the other . if @xmath44 , the distance traveled by the light ray is @xmath42 .
when @xmath45 , this distance becomes @xmath46 , where now s = ^s_0_0ds . here
the under - braced integral is the displacement per unit @xmath43 of a pair of observers at a distance @xmath43 from the source .
the domain of the final two integrations is illustrated in fig .
( [ fig = geodesic3 ] ) .
= 2.6in=2.6 in if gravity is quantized , the riemann tensor will fluctuate around an average value of zero due to quantum gravitational vacuum fluctuations .
this leads to @xmath47 , and hence @xmath48 .
notice here that @xmath49 becomes a quantum operator when metric perturbations are quantized .
however , in general , @xmath50 , and we have ( s ) ^2= ^s_0_0ds_1^s_0_0ds_2^s_1_0d_1^_1_0 d_1^s_2_0d_2^_2_0 d_2(_1,s_1)(_2,s_2 ) .
[ eq : mdd ] thus the root - mean - squared fluctuation in the flight path is @xmath51 , which can also be understood as a fluctuation in the speed of light .
it entails an intrinsic quantum uncertainty in the measurement of distance .
therefore , spacetime becomes fuzzy at a scale characterized by @xmath51 .
the integrand in eq .
( [ eq : mdd ] ) is obviously invariant under any coordinate transformation while the integral is gauge invariant within the linear approximation .
we now wish to show that this gauge - invariant quantity is the same as eq .
( [ eq : mdt ] ) when calculated in the transverse - tracefree ( tt ) gauge .
choose a coordinate system where the source and the detector are both at rest , and suppose that the light ray propagates in the @xmath9-direction , then we have u^=(1,0,0,0 ) , n^=(0,1,0,0 ) , and = r_xtxt=-12h_xx , tt .
substitution of the above results into eq .
( [ eq : mdd ] ) leads to ( s ) ^2&= & ^rdx_1^r_0dx_2^x_1_0dt_1^t_1_0dt_1 ^x_2_0dt_2^t_2_0 dt_2(t_1,s_1)(t_2,s_2 ) + & = & 14^r_0dx_1^r_0dx_2 h_xx(x_1,x_1 ) h_xx(x_2,x_2)=1r _ 1 ^ 2 , where we have set @xmath52 and used the fact that along the light ray @xmath53 .
thus , one has t=
r= which also demonstrates the gauge - invariance of @xmath15
. now we wish to discuss the rather subtle issue of the relation of lightcone fluctuations to lorentz symmetry .
it is sometimes argued that lightcone fluctuations are incompatible with lorentz invariance .
the most dramatic illustration of this arises when a time advance occurs , that is , when a pulse propagates outside of the classical lightcone . in a lorentz invariant theory , there will exist a frame of reference in which the causal order of emission and detection is inverted , so the pulse is seen to be detected before it was emitted .
thus the lightcone fluctuation phenomenon , if it is to exist at all , seems to be incompatible with strict lorentz invariance .
our view of the situation is the following : lightcone fluctuations respect lorentz symmetry on the average , but not in individual measurements .
the symmetry on the average insures that the mean lightcone be that of classical minkowski spacetime .
the average metric is that of minkowski spacetime provided that @xmath54 however , a particular pulse effectively measures a spacetime geometry which is not minkowskian and not lorentz invariant .
a simple model may help to illustrate this point .
consider a quantum geometry consisting of an ensemble of classical schwarzschild spacetimes , but with both positive and negative values for the mass parameter @xmath55 .
( the fact that the @xmath56 schwarzschild spacetime has a naked singularity at @xmath57 need not concern us . for the purpose of this model , we can confine our discussion to a region where @xmath58 ) suppose that this ensemble has @xmath59 , but @xmath60 .
it is well known that light propagation in a @xmath61 schwarzschild spacetime can exhibit a time delay relative to what would be expected in flat spacetime .
this is the basis for the time delay tests of general relativity using radar signals sent near the limb of the sun . in the present model , however , the time difference is equally likely to be a time advance rather than a time delay .
a measurement of the time difference amounts to a measurement of @xmath55 .
this model is lorentz invariant on the average because @xmath59 and the average spacetime is minkowskian .
however , a specific measurement selects a particular member of the ensemble , which is generally not lorentz invariant .
in addition to the fact that the mean metric is minkowskian , there is another sense in which lightcone fluctuations due to compactification exhibit average lorentz invariance .
note that @xmath62 , and hence @xmath15 , depends on the riemann tensor correlation function @xmath63 , which is invariant under lorentz boosts along the @xmath9-axis .
thus if we were to repeat the above calculations of @xmath62 in a second frame moving with respect to the first , the result will be the same . in both cases
one is assuming that the detector is at rest relative to the source .
this is a reflection of the lorentz invariance of the spectrum of fluctuations , which is exhibited by the compactified flat spacetimes studied in this paper , but not by the schwarzschild spacetime with a fluctuating mass .
we shall use a quantization of the linearized gravitational perturbations @xmath4 which retains only physical degrees of freedom .
that is , we are going to work in the tt gauge in which the gravitational perturbations have only spatial components @xmath64 , satisfying the transverse , @xmath65 , and tracefree , @xmath66 conditions . here
@xmath67 run from 1 to @xmath68 .
these @xmath69 conditions remove all of the gauge degrees of freedom and leave @xmath70 physical degrees of freedom .
we have @xmath71.\ ] ] here h.c .
denotes the hermitian conjugate , @xmath72 labels the @xmath70 independent polarization states , @xmath73 is the mode function , and the @xmath74 are polarization tensors .
( units in which @xmath75 , where @xmath76 is newton s constant in d dimensions and in which @xmath77 will be used in this paper . )
let us now calculate the hadamard function , @xmath78 , for gravitons in the minkowski vacuum state in the transverse tracefree gauge .
it follows that @xmath79 the summation of polarization tensors in the transverse tracefree gauge is ( see the appendix in ref .
@xmath80 where @xmath81 we find that g_ijkl&= & 2f_ij_kl + 2f_kl_ij-2f_ik_jl-2f_il _
jk-2f_jl_ik -2f_jk_il + & & + 2h_ijkl + 2d(x , x)(_ik_jl+_il_jk-_ij _ kl ) .
here @xmath82 , @xmath83 and @xmath84 are functions which are defined as follows : d^n(x , x)= re d^3+n*k*e^i*k * ( * x*-*x*)e^-i(t - t ) , [ eq : dfunc ] f^n_ij(x , x)=re_i_j d^3+n*k*e^i*k * ( * x*-*x * ) e^-i(t - t ) , [ eq : ffunc ] and h^n_ijkl(x , x)=re _ i^_j_k_l^ d^3+n*k*e^i*k * ( * x*- * x*)e^-i(t - t ) .
[ eq : hfunc ] these functions are calculated in the appendix .
let r=|*x*-*x*| , t= t - t. for @xmath85 , an odd number of extra dimensions , the results are d^2m+1= \ { ll ( 2m+1)!!2(2)^m+21(r^2-t^2)^m+32 , & r^2>t^2 , + 0 & r^2<t^2 , .
[ eq : dodd ] f^2m+1_ij=-12(2)^m+2_i_j , [ eq : fodd ] and h_ijkl^2m+1&=&12(2)^m+2_i_j_k_l\ { ( 2m)!!r^2m-2 .
+ [ eq : hodd ] in particular , for @xmath86 ( @xmath87 ) , we have h^1_ijkl=0 here s(0)=\ { ll r^2 & r^2>t^2 , + 0 & r^2<t^2 , . and q(1)=(13-t^23r^2)s(0 ) . for @xmath88 ,
an even number of extra dimensions , we have d^2m=2^m m!(2)^m+21(r^2-t^2)^m+1 , [ eq : deven ] f^2m_ij&=&1(2)^m+2_i_j\ { ( 2m-1)!!r^2m}m1 , + [ eq : feven ] and h_ijkl^2m&=&1(2)^m+2_i_j _ k_l\{(2m-1)!!r^2m-4}m2 . + [ eq : heven ] for the case @xmath89 ( @xmath90 ) , we have for @xmath91 h^2_ijkl=1(2)^3_i_j_k_l .
+ the case of @xmath92 ( @xmath93 ) was given in ref .
let us now suppose that the extra @xmath3 dimensions @xmath94 are compactified with periodicity lengths @xmath95 , namely spatial points @xmath96 and @xmath97 are identified . for simplicity , we shall assume in this paper that @xmath98 .
the effect of imposition of the periodic boundary conditions on the extra dimensions is to restrict the field modes to a discrete set f_*k * = ( 2(2)^3l^n)^-12 e^i(*k x * -t ) , [ eq : mode2 ] with k_i=2m_il , i=1, ... ,n , m_i=0,1 , 2 , 3 , .... let us denote the associated vacuum state by @xmath99 . in order to calculate the gravitational vacuum fluctuations due to compactification of extra dimensions , we need the renormalized graviton hadamard function with respect to the vacuum state @xmath99 , @xmath100 , which is given by a multiple image sum of the corresponding hadamard function for the minkowski vacuum , @xmath101 : g_^ r(t , z_i , t,z_i ) = _ i=1^n_m_i=-^+^ g_(t , z_i , t,z_i + m_il ) .
here the prime on the summation indicates that the @xmath102 term is excluded and the notation ( t , , z_1 , .. , z_n)(t , z_i ) has been adopted .
we are mainly concerned about how lightcone fluctuations arise in the usual uncompactified space as a result of compactification of extra dimensions .
so we shall examine the case of a light ray propagating in one of the uncompactified dimensions .
take the direction to be along the @xmath9-axis in our four dimensional world , then the relevant graviton two - point function is @xmath103 , which can be expressed as g_xxxx(t,,z_i , t,,z_i ) & = & 2 .
[ eq : gx ] assuming that the propagation goes from point @xmath104 to point @xmath105 , we have
_ 1 ^ 2 & = & 18(b - a)^2 _ a^b dx _
a^b dx g_xxxx^r ( t , x,*0*,t,x,*0 * , ) , + & = & 18(b - a)^2 _ a^b dx _
i=1^n_m_i=-^+^ g_xxxx(t , x,*0*,t,x,0,0 , m_1l, ... ,m_il ) .
+ [ eq : sigma1 ] with these results , we can in principle calculate lightcone fluctuations in spacetimes with arbitrary number of flat extra dimensions . in what follows ,
we first examine some particular cases , then make some observations for the general case .
one of the most intriguing and elegant ways of unifying gauge field theories with gravitation is the higher - dimensional generalizations of kaluza - klein theory .
the original suggestion of kaluza and klein @xcite was that electromagnetism and general relativity could be unified by starting with a five - dimensional version of the latter and then somehow arranging for the fifth dimension to become unobservable .
this idea was further generalized to higher dimensions in attempts to unify non - abelian gauge fields with gravitation and has been extensively studied in recent years in the context of supergravity and superstring theories . in the course of investigation of new features arising from the introduction of extra dimensions ,
the five - dimensional kaluza - klein theory has always been taken as a prototypical model to carry out explicit calculations to obtain a basic understanding .
this is also our strategy here . in this subsection
, we will derive the results which were summarized in ref .
@xcite .
to begin , let us examine the influence of the compactification of the fifth ( extra ) dimension on the light propagation in our four dimensional world , by considering a light ray traveling along the @xmath9-direction from point @xmath106 to point @xmath107 , which is perpendicular to the direction of compactification .
define = x - x,b - a = r and note the fact that the integration in eq .
( [ eq : sigma1 ] ) is to be carried out along the classical null geodesic on which @xmath108
. then we obtain , after performing the differentiation in both @xmath109 and @xmath110 , & & g_xxxx(t , x,0,0,0 , t,x,0,0,ml ) + & & = 14 ^ 2 .
thus , we have _ 1 ^ 2 & = & 18r^2
a^b dx g_xxxx^r ( t , x,*0*,t,x,*0 * , ) , + & = & 18r^2 _
a^b dx_m=-^+^ g_xxxx(t , x,*0*,t,x,0,0 , ml ) + & = & r^232 ^ 2l_m=1^ , where we have introduced a dimensionless parameter @xmath111 . we are interested here in the case in which @xmath112 .
it then follows that the summation is dominated , to the leading order , by the second term , _ 1 ^ 2 _ r - r^216 ^ 2l _
n=1^^2n^3 = -(3 ) r^2 ^ 216 ^ 2l , [ eq : sigmafix ] where @xmath113 is the riemann - zeta function .
so , the mean deviation from the classical propagation time due to the lightcone fluctuations is t = = ( rl)t_pl .
[ eq : tkk ] here we have used the fact that @xmath114 , and @xmath115 is the planck time . this result reveals that here the mean deviation in the arrival time increases linearly grows linearly with the square root of @xmath17 ( see ref .
@xcite ) . ] with @xmath17 and inversely with the size of the extra dimension .
this effect is counter - intuitive in the sense that it grows as the size of the compactified dimension decreases .
when @xmath17 is of cosmological dimensions and @xmath116 is sufficiently small , the effect is potentially observable .
note that here @xmath26 has been renormalized to zero as @xmath117 .
this is the most natural choice of renormalization , corresponding to the effect of the graviton fluctuations vanishing in the limit of noncompactified spacetime .
this is analogous to setting a casimir energy density to zero in the limit of infinite plate separation , however , if instead of renormalizing @xmath16 against the vacuum with respect to @xmath117 , we take the manifold with compactified extra dimensions at some fixed sizes @xmath116 to have @xmath118 , then the lightcone fluctuations could seem to be renormalized away .
the latter renormalization scheme is a logical possibility that we can consider , although it is unnatural as there seems to be nothing in the theory which picks out a particular finite value of @xmath116 . in any case , if @xmath116 is somehow allowed to vary , for example , as the universe evolves , then lightcone fluctuations would produce noticeable effects , as one could at most set @xmath119 at one point along the path of a light ray .
it is particularly so , when we try to detect the spread in the arrival times of pulses from distant astrophysical sources , where we are looking back in time .
hence significant lightcone fluctuations may arise no matter what renormalization scheme one chooses if the size @xmath116 is allowed to vary . to get an understanding for the case of a changing @xmath116 ,
let us assume that @xmath116 changes with time at an extremely small rate , which is in fact required by experimental data on the time evolution of fundamental constants ( see , for example , refs .
then the evolution of @xmath116 can be reasonably well approximated by a linear function of time : on time should be given by a yet - unknown underlying dynamical theory which governs how the extra dimensions evolve .
however , the assumption of a linear dependence is good enough for our purpose of getting a basic idea about how the variation of @xmath116 over time would affect our results .
] l = l_i+t using this expression for @xmath116 and redoing the calculations with a changing one is not the exact two - point function that satisfies the appropriate equations , but it is a very good leading order approximation provided that @xmath120 , one finds , _ 1 ^ 2 _ r & = & r^232 ^ 2l_f_m=1^ ( l_fl_i)^2 + & & -(3 ) r^2 ^ 216 ^ 2l_f ( l_fl_i)^2 , [ eq : sigmavari ] where @xmath121 is the initial compactification size when the light ray is emitted , @xmath122 is the final size at the time of reception and @xmath123 . here
@xmath26 is renormalized with respect to @xmath124 .
therefore , one has for the mean time deviation from the classical propagation time t = r ( l_fl_i ) ( rl_f)t_pl .
[ eq : tvari ] another possibility , as we have mentioned earlier , is to renormalize @xmath16 against that corresponding to the current size @xmath125 , which implements the idea of setting the renormalized @xmath26 to be zero if @xmath116 is fixed always or at least during the propagation of the light .
this is accomplished by taking the difference between eq .
( [ eq : sigmavari ] ) and eq .
( [ eq : sigmafix ] ) with @xmath116 being replaced by @xmath125 to obtain
_ 1 ^ 2 _ r , which leads to t= r ( rl_f)t_pl .
[ eq : tvari1 ] equations ( [ eq : tvari ] ) and ( [ eq : tvari1 ] ) demonstrate clearly that no matter what renormalization scheme is employed , one gets a nonzero lightcone fluctuation effect as long as @xmath116 is changing .
we want to point out here again that renormalizing @xmath16 with respect to @xmath117 is far more natural than to a particular finite size @xmath125 , since the latter seems to pick out a preferred size @xmath125 without any convincing reason to do so .
the fluctuation in the flight time of pulses , @xmath15 , can apply to the successive wave crests of a plane wave .
this leads to a broadening of spectral lines from a distant source .
note , however , that @xmath15 is the expected variation in the arrival times of two successive crests only when the successive pulses are uncorrelated @xcite . to determine the correlation
, we need to compare @xmath126 and @xmath127 .
the latter quantity is defined by @xmath128 where the @xmath17-integration is taken along the mean path of the first pulse , and the @xmath129-integration is taken along that of the second pulse . here
we will assume that @xmath130 , so the slopes , @xmath131 and @xmath132 , of the two mean paths are approximately unity .
thus the two - point function in eq .
( [ eq : sigma11ex ] ) will be assumed to be evaluated at @xmath133 and @xmath134 . if @xmath135 , two pulses are uncorrelated , and otherwise they are correlated .
let us now suppose the time separation of two pulses is @xmath41 , and note that the relevant graviton two - point function can be expressed as & & g_xxxx(t , x,0,0,0 , t , x,0,0 , nl)|_t - t=-t + & & = 14 ^ 2 + & & -14 ^ 21 ^ 3 + 14 ^ 2f(,n ) , + where , ( n,)=(n^2l^2 + 2t - t^2)^1/2 .
utilizing the following integration relation _
f(x - x)= _ 0^r ( r-)[f()+f(-)]d , one finds that _ 1_1=a+b , where a & = & -r^216 ^ 2^_n=1^r_0 d ( r- ) + & = & -r^216 ^ 2l^3 ^_n=1l^4t^2 ( 2 -- ) , + [ eq : a ] and b & = & r^216 ^ 2^_n=1^r_0 d ( r- ) [ f(,n)+f(-,n ) ] + & = & r^216 ^ 2l^3 ^_n=12 + & & - 1nl ( n^2l^2+rt+nl(r , n ) ) -1nl ( n^2l^2-rt+nl(-r , n ) ) ) .
+ a few things are to be noticed here : ( 1 ) we need to drop those terms in @xmath136 and @xmath137 when the square root is imaginary .
( 2 ) it can be shown that the above expression for @xmath138 reduces to @xmath139 when @xmath140 , as it should .
( 3 ) the asymptotic behaviors of the summands when @xmath141 , are @xmath142 for @xmath143 and @xmath144 for @xmath137 , hence both @xmath136 and @xmath137 converge . ( 4 )
if @xmath145 , then @xmath136 dominates over @xmath137 , since the leading order of the summand in @xmath136 is @xmath146 while that in @xmath137 is a constant independent of @xmath17 as @xmath147 .
thus @xmath148 . to proceed ,
let us now assume that @xmath149 and @xmath150 , then p 1 [ eq : p ] is a huge number .
thus for the third term in eq .
( [ eq : a ] ) , the sum should only start from @xmath151 .
we can now split the summation into two parts , i.e. terms with @xmath152 and those with @xmath153 . using the asymptotic form of the summand for the part with @xmath153 and defining @xmath154 $ ] , where @xmath155 $ ] denotes the integer part
, one has _
1_1-r^216 ^ 2l^3 ( 2l^4t^2^p_n = m -l^4t^2^p_n=1+^_p2r^2n^3 . ) hence , it follows that |_1_1| < r^216 ^ 2l^3 ( 2l^4t^2^p_n=1n + l^4t^2^p_n=1+^_p2r^2n^3 . )
let us now evaluate the above expression term by term .
one has , keeping in mind that @xmath156 , that & & ^p_n=1^p_n=1 = p^p_n=1 + & & p^2 ^ 1_1/pdx [ + ( + 1)]p^2 , and ^_pr^2n^3=-r^22(2,p)~r^221p^2 = 14lrltr^2 . here
we have used eq .
( [ eq : p ] ) and the asymptotic expansion for @xmath157 ( 2,x)-1x^2 - 1x^3 - 12x^4+o(1/x^6 ) , where function @xmath158 is defined as ( n , x)=d^n ( x)dx^n , ( x)=ddx(x ) , noting that for @xmath156 , ^p_n=1n~12p^2 , and letting a=1 + 12[+(+1 ) ] , we finally find |_1_1| < r^216 ^ 2l^3 ( al^4t^2p^2+r^221p^2)= r^216 ^ 2l^3 ( 2a+12)lrltr^2 . compare this result with |_1 ^ 2 _ r| ( 3 ) r^2 .
it is seen that two successive pulses separated by @xmath41 in time are uncorrelated ( @xmath159 ) provided that r , or equivalently t = lrl .
[ eq : leff ] however , if @xmath160 , one can show , by series expanding both @xmath136 and @xmath137 , that |_1_1| ^_n=11(n^2-t^2l^2)^3/2 . clearly , in this case , @xmath159 , if @xmath161 , and @xmath162 , when @xmath163 .
a few comments are now in order about the physical picture behind our correlation results .
it is natural to expect from the configuration that the dominant contributions to the light cone fluctuation come from the graviton modes with wavelengths of the order of @xmath164 .
in other words , the lightcone fluctuates on a typical time scale of @xmath165 . if the travel distance , @xmath17 , is less than @xmath116
, successive pulses are uncorrelated only when their time separation is greater than the typical fluctuation time scale .
otherwise they are correlated because the quantum gravitational vacuum fluctuations are not significant enough in the interval between the pulses . however , if @xmath166 , then successive pulses are in general uncorrelated .
thus the correlation time for large @xmath17 is of order @xmath167 , which is much smaller than the compactification scale @xmath116 .
we can understand this result as arising from the loss of correlation as the pulses propagate over an increasing distance .
suppose that the experimental fractional resolution for a particular spectral line of period @xmath41 is @xmath168 .
then we must have , [ eq : resolution ] which , with eq .
( [ eq : tkk ] ) , leads to a bound on @xmath116 of l , [ eq : lbound ] assuming @xmath116 does not change over time .
however , this bound can be trusted only when two successive wave crests are uncorrelated , when @xmath15 is the expected variation in their arrival times .
the most conservative constraint from this requirement is that @xmath116 is smaller than the wavelength of the spectral line , @xmath41 .
namely , t , yielding a restriction on the range of spectral lines that we should use to get the lower bound t. [ eq : tbound ] if eq .
( [ eq : tbound ] ) is approximately an equality , then eq . ( [ eq : lbound ] )
becomes l ( r t_pl ) ^12= ( r l_pl ) ^12 .
obviously , the optimal lower bound would be deduced from the spectral lines of distant galaxies , possibly of cosmological distance , with the highest observed spectral resolution . for astrophysical sources of cosmological distance , spectral lines which satisfy eq .
( [ eq : tbound ] ) will have wavelengths @xmath169 mm assuming a resolution of @xmath170 and a cosmological travel distance .
the detection of co(1@xmath1710 ) line emission at 2.6 mm from luminous infrared galaxies and quasars@xcite provides the type of data needed to get a bound . according to ref .
@xcite , the observed co line resolution for the infrared quasar iras 07598 + 6508 , which is at a distance of 596 mpc assuming @xmath172 km s@xmath173 mpc@xmath173 , is about @xmath170 , leading to l10 ^ -1 mm . here
, the size of the extra dimension has to be macroscopically large in order not to contradict the astrophysical observation .
the lower bound given here is within the sensitivity of the recently proposed experiments for possible deviations from newtonian gravity@xcite .
note , however , this bound could be pushed to an even higher value if we do not require @xmath174 .
this is in fact legitimate , since for astrophysical sources one usually has both @xmath150 and @xmath149 satisfied , and the condition for two successive pulses to be uncorrelated is really r > l^2 t .
[ eq : corrcond ] hence , we can use eq .
( [ eq : lbound ] ) to get a bound from experimental data as long as the resulting bound , @xmath116 , obeys eq .
( [ eq : corrcond ] ) , l < l_0 .
[ eq : lcorr ] thus , a stronger bound can be achieved , if we can find astrophysical sources of cosmological distance with observed spectra of much smaller wavelengths provided this condition is satisfied .
the observation of @xmath175 rays from astrophysical sources , such as gamma - ray bursters ( grbs ) @xcite , provides such an opportunity .
the use of these sources as probes of possible quantum gravity effects has been explored by a number of authors @xcite recently .
below we will select some of these @xmath175 ray sources to calculate both the lower bound @xmath176 from eq .
( [ eq : lbound ] ) and @xmath177 from eq .
( [ eq : lcorr ] ) . to be conservative
, we shall assume a resolution of the order of unity for all the gamma rays we are going to consider , since we should at least have this resolution before we can talk with confidence about the observed energies ( or frequencies ) of the gamma rays . in the following table
, we list the source names , the observed frequencies @xmath178 , the source distances @xmath109 , and the calculated @xmath176 and @xmath177 .
* table : bounds on l from grb sources * [ cols="^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] from this table , one can find that the largest lower bound for @xmath116 comes from grb930131 and grb990123 , which is l10 ^ 7 mm .
for some sources , mrk 421 , for instance , one seems to get a much larger bound , which however can not be trusted , because the correlation condition @xmath179 is violated .
the physical reason is that the frequencies for the gamma rays are so high that even travel over a cosmological distance does not wash out the correlation between successive wave crests . in principle
, the above results only apply to the case where @xmath116 is fixed .
when @xmath116 changes as the universe evolves , one should use eq .
( [ eq : tvari ] ) , or eq . ( [ eq : tvari1 ] ) , for the mean time deviation , @xmath15 . in this case
, we can set either a bound on @xmath116 or a bound on the rate of change of @xmath116 , if we can constrain either the rate of change of the size of extra dimensions over time or the present size @xmath116 from other considerations .
let @xmath125 be the size of the extra dimension at the present time and @xmath121 be that at the time of primordial nucleosynthesis , and write = 1 + .
[ eq : lrate ] according to refs .
@xcite , the observational limits , obtained by investigating the effects on the primordial nucleosynthesis of @xmath180 as a consequence of the time variation of fundamental constants such as the electroweak , strong , and gravitational coupling constants , imply that @xmath181 .
however , stronger limits on @xmath182 , which may be less reliable , arise from a detailed study of the events which took place @xmath183yr ago on the current site of an open - pit uranium mine at oklo in the west african republic of gabon @xcite .
this site gave rise to a natural nuclear reactor when it went critical for a period about @xmath183yr ago .
the oklo samples constrain the rate of change of extra spatial dimensions to satisfy the limits @xcite |ll|1.910 ^ -19yr^-1 , which translates to @xmath184 . in either case , @xmath185 .
thus all the results obtained so far for a fixed @xmath116 hold for a changing @xmath116 if renormalization with respect to @xmath117 is adopted ( refer to eq .
( [ eq : tvari ] ) ) . however if one chooses the renormalization with respect to the current size @xmath125 , then combination of eq .
( [ eq : resolution ] ) and eq .
( [ eq : tvari1 ] ) gives rise to l ( rt_plt ) ( rt_plt ) .
[ eq : lvaribound ] as a result , the following considerably smaller lower bounds can be deduced from eq .
( [ eq : lvaribound ] ) using the co line data l10 ^ -2 mm , & & = 0.01 , + l10 ^ -6 mm , & & = 10 ^ -10 , and l10 ^ 6 mm , & & = 0.01 , + l10 ^ 2 mm , & & = 10 ^ -10 , using grb data .
on the other hand , one can also use our result to place a bound on the rate of change of @xmath116 if the present size of @xmath116 can be fixed by other considerations . in this respect , it is well - known that the five - dimensional kaluza - klein theory provides an explanation of the quantization of electric charge , in the sense that all electric charges are multiples of the elementary charge e=4l .
the corresponding fine structure constant is then _ f=4gl^2 . setting @xmath186 to its present value , @xmath187
, we get an estimate of the size of the fifth dimension , @xmath188 cm , in the original kaluza - klein model . for the case of renormalization with respect to @xmath189
, we can see from eq .
( [ eq : resolution ] ) , eq .
( [ eq : tvari ] ) and eq .
( [ eq : lrate ] ) that we must have @xmath190 , which is much weaker than the existing bounds on the change rate from primordial nucleosynthesis and the oklo samples . to discuss the case of renormalization with respect to @xmath125 , the current size ,
let us write eq .
( [ eq : lvaribound ] ) as ( ltr t_pl)^2 .
thus , using @xmath188 cm and the same co line data as before , we find the following limit for change of the extra dimension in the kaluza - klein model 10 ^ -58 , or the rate of change by dividing @xmath182 by the travel time , which is @xmath191 yr |ll|10 ^ -67yr^-1 .
this is much stronger even than the strongest bound arising from the observational limits on the time evolution of fundamental constants . to conclude , we have demonstrated , in the case of one extra dimension , that the large quantum lightcone fluctuations due to the compactification of the extra dimension require either the size of the extra dimension to be macroscopically large or rate of change of the extra dimension to be extremely small .
this result seems to rule out the five dimensional kaluza - klein theory , or at the very least , place strong limits on the rate of change of the extra dimension .
we must point out that the rate of growth of @xmath15 with @xmath17 depends crucially on the number of spatial dimensions . in four dimensions , @xmath192 , while in five dimensions @xmath193 .
one expects that in larger number of dimensions , there will be an effect of compactification , but its details need to be determined by explicit calculations for particular models .
this is the topic for the next section .
there was no real reason to extend the kaluza - klein idea beyond five dimensions until the emergence of non - abelian gauge field theories which have had a profound impact on theoretical physics since their invention by yang and mills in 1954 .
it was suggested by dewitt @xcite as early as in 1963 that a unification of yang - mills theories and gravitation could be achieved in a higher dimensional kaluza - klein framework .
nowadays , the possibility of unifying all the known interactions in nature in higher dimensional spacetimes has been actively pursued in the context of eleven dimensional supergravity and ten dimensional superstring theories .
a necessary ingredient of all these higher dimensional models is the compactification of the extra dimensions to a very small size so as to leave the ordinary four - dimensional `` large '' world . in this section ,
we examine , case by case , the lightcone fluctuations arising from quantum gravitational vacuum fluctuations induced by the periodic compactification of extra , flat spatial dimensions in higher dimensional models up through 11 dimensions and make a conjecture about arbitrary dimensions .
[ [ the - case - with - n2 ] ] the case with @xmath89 + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + this is the 6 dimensional spacetime with 2 extra dimensions .
we obtain , after performing the differentiation in both @xmath110 and @xmath194 ( see eqs ( [ eq : feven ] ) and ( [ eq : heven ] ) ) .
g_xxxx(t , x,*0*,t,x,0,0 , m_1l , m_2l)a_2()+b_2 ( ) [ eq : g2 ] with a_2()=14 ^ 3 , and b_2()&=&14 ^ 3 + & & ( ) ^2 , where we have introduced a parameter _ n^2=l^2_i=1^nm_i^2 . upon noting that @xmath103 is an even function of @xmath195
, it follows that , _ a^b dx _
a^b dx g_xxxx^r ( t , x,*0*,t,x,*0*)= _
i=1 ^ 2_m_i=-^+_0^r 2(r-)(a_2+b_2 ) d. [ eq : intrelation ] performing the integration ( integrate by parts for those terms involving logarithmic functions ) , we find & & _
i=1 ^ 2_m_i=-^+_0^r 2(r-)(a_2+b_2 ) d + & & = 12 ^ 3l^2 _ m_1=1^^ _ m_2=1^^ , + [ eq : series2 ] where @xmath111 is a dimensionless parameter .
the above double summation is by no means easy to evaluate .
however , we are interested in the case in which the travel distance @xmath17 is much greater than the size of the extra dimensions @xmath116 , i.e. , @xmath112 .
it then follows that the summation is dominated , to the leading order , by -12 ^ 3l^2 _ m_1=1^^ _ m_2=1^^8 ^ 63(m_1 ^ 2+m_2 ^ 2 ) ( ^2+m_1 ^ 2+m_2 ^ 2)^3 , which can be approximated by the following integral when @xmath112 -43 ^ 3l^2 _
1/^dx_1_1/^dx_2 1(x_1 ^ 2+x_2 ^ 2)(x_1 ^ 2+x_2 ^ 2 + 1)^3 ( ) , . an easy way to see
the above behavior is to note that the contribution to the integral is dominated by the region around @xmath196 since the integrand dies away very quickly as @xmath197 and @xmath198 increase , and then change to polar coordinates to evaluate the integral while using the fact that around @xmath196 the integrand is approximated by @xmath199 .
therefore one finds that _ 1 ^ 2 _ r ( ) , and the mean deviation from the classical propagation time due to the lightcone fluctuations t = r = .
[ eq : t2 ] here we have used the fact that @xmath200 . note that here the @xmath201 dependence on @xmath175 is square root of a logarithmic function which is quite different from linear dependence in the case with @xmath202 discussed above .
so , the mean time deviation here grows much more slowly as the travel distance @xmath17 increases or the compactification scale decreases . as we shall see later
, this seems to a general feature for @xmath203 .
[ [ the - case - with - n3 ] ] the case with n=3 + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + this is the 7 dimensional spacetime with 3 extra dimensions .
the relevant two - point function can be shown to be & & g_xxxx(t , x,*0*,t,x,0,0,m_1l, ... ,m_3l ) + & & = 18 ^ 3 , [ eq : g3 ] which leads to & & _ a^b dx _
a^b dx g_xxxx^r ( t , x,*0*,t,x,*0 * ) + & & = -14 ^ 3l^3 _ i=1 ^ 3_m_1=1^^ ( 8 ^ 83(_i=1 ^ 3m_i^2)^32(^2+_i=1 ^ 3m_i^2 ) ^4 + & & + 56 ^ 63(_i=1 ^ 3m_i^2 ) ^12(^2+_i=1 ^ 3m_i^2 ) ^4 ) . + the triple summation is dominated , to the leading order , by the first term when @xmath112 , which again can be approximated by integration to be -23 ^ 3l^3 _ 1/^dx_1_1/^dx_2 _ 1/^dx_3 1(_i=1 ^ 3 x_i^2)^32(_i=1 ^ 3 + 1)^4 ( ) , as @xmath204 .
thus the mean deviation from the classical propagation time due to the lightcone fluctuations t = r = .
[ eq : t3 ] + [ [ the - case - with - n4 ] ] the case with n=4 + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + this is the 8 dimensional spacetime with 4 extra dimensions .
the relevant two - point function is g_xxxx(t , x,*0*,t,x,0,0 , m_1l, ... ,m_4l)a_4()+b_4 ( ) [ eq : g4 ] with a_4=18 ^ 4 & , and b_4&=&18 ^ 4 + & & ( ) ^2 .
one finds after carrying out the integration & & _ a^b dx _
a^b dx g_xxxx^r ( t , x,*0*,t,x,*0 * ) + & & = 14 ^ 4l^4 _
i=1 ^ 4_m_i=1^^ .
+ [ eq : series3 ] the summation is seen to be dominated by the second term when @xmath112 and in that case the summation turns out to be approximated by an integral as -56 ^ 4l^4 _
i=1 ^ 4_1/^dx_i 1(_i=1 ^ 5 x_i^2)^2(_i=1 ^ 5 x_i^2 + 1)^4 ( ) .
therefore , one obtains _
1 ^ 2 _ r ( ) , and t = r .
[ eq : t4 ] [ [ the - case - with - n5 ] ] the case with n=5 + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + this is the 9 dimensional spacetime with 5 extra dimensions .
one finds in this case that & & g_xxxx(t , x,*0*,t,x,0,0 , m_1l, ... ,m_2l ) + & & = 116 ^ 3 , + [ eq : g5 ] and & & _ a^b dx _
a^b dx g_xxxx^(1)r ( t , x,0,0,t,x,0,m_il ) + & & = -18 ^ 3l^5 _ i=1 ^ 5_m_i=1^^ ( 8 ^ 10(_i=1 ^ 5m_i^2)^52(^2+_i=1 ^ 5m_i^2 ) ^5 + 48 ^ 8(_i=1 ^ 5m_i^2)^32(^2+_i=1 ^ 5m_i^2 ) ^5 + & & + 168 ^ 6(_i=1 ^ 5m_i^2 ) ^12(^2+_i=1 ^ 5m_i^2 ) ^5 )
. the summation , to the leading order , can be approximated by integration -1 ^ 4l^5 _ i=1 ^ 5_1/^dx_i 1(_i=1 ^ 5 x_i^2)^52(_i=1 ^ 5 x_i^2 + 1)^5 ( ) , as @xmath204 .
thus the mean deviation from the classical propagation time due to the lightcone fluctuations t = r .
[ eq : t5 ] [ [ the - case - with - n6 ] ] the case with n=6 + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + this is the 10 dimensional spacetime with 4 extra dimensions as motivated by superstring theory .
the relevant two - point function is given by g_xxxx(t , x,*0*,t,x,0,0,m_1l, ... ,m_6l)a_6()+b_6 ( ) , [ eq : g6 ] where a_6=116 ^ 5 & , and b_6&=&116 ^ 5 + & & ( ) ^2 .
one finds after carrying out the integration & & _ a^bdx _ a^b dx g_xxxx^r ( t , x,0,0,t,x,0,m_il ) = + & & _
i=1 ^ 6_m_i=1^^ .
+ [ eq : series4 ] the summation is dominated by the second term when @xmath112 and thus is approximated by an integral as -16 ^ 5l^6 _
i=1 ^ 6_1/^dx_i 1(_i=1 ^ 6 x_i^2)^3(_i=1 ^ 6 x_i^2 + 1)^5 ( ) . hence , we have _ 1 ^ 2 _
r ( ) , and t = r .
[ eq : t6 ] [ [ the - case - with - n7 ] ] the case with n=7 + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + this is the 11 dimensional spacetime with 7 extra dimensions .
the relevant two - point function can be shown to be & & g_xxxx(t , x,*0*,t,x,0,0,m_1l, ... ,m_7l ) + & & = 116 ^ 5 .
+ [ eq : g7 ] following the same steps , one finds for @xmath205 _ 1 ^ 2_r_i=1 ^ 7_1/^dx_i 1(_i=1 ^ 7 x_i^2)^72(_i=1 ^ 7 x_i^2 + 1)^6 ( ) , and t = r .
[ eq : t7 ] thus we find that in all of these models in which there is more than one flat compactified extra dimension , the lightcone fluctuation effect grows only logarithmically with distance .
hence we are unable to derive any constraints on these models .
we have not been able to prove that this behavior holds for any number of flat extra dimensions greater than one , but conjecture that this is the case .
in this section , we examine the lightcone fluctuations due to the presence of two 3 + 1 dimensional hyperplane boundaries , i.e. , `` 3-branes '' , living in extra dimensions separated from each other by some distance .
this framework is motivated by the recent proposal to resolve the unnatural hierarchy between the weak and planck scales @xcite . in this scenario , four - dimensional particle theory , such as the standard model , is confined to live in one of the branes , but gravity is free to propagate in the higher dimensional bulk .
therefore the bulk spacetime is dynamical , and the 3-branes can not be rigid , but must undergo quantum fluctuations in their positions , which we assume to be order of @xmath206 , the planck length in higher dimensions . to be more specific ,
we suppose one brane is located at the origin and the other at @xmath207 , and we shall examine the effect of lightcone fluctuations due to gravitons in the bulk by looking at a light ray traveling parallel to one of the boundaries , in the @xmath208axis , for example , but separated from it by a distance @xmath209 . this feature is to reflect the quantum fluctuations in the position of the brane @xcite .
we consider both the neumann and dirichlet boundary conditions for the graviton field at each brane hyperplane .
once we have the graviton two - point functions without any boundary , those with two parallel plane boundaries can also be found by the method of image sum . if gravitons satisfy the dirichlet boundary condition , then the renormalized graviton two - point function is given by the following multiple image sum & & g_^ r(t , z_i , t,z_i ) + & & = _
i=1^n_m_i=-^+^ g_(t , z_i , t,z_i + 2m_il ) - _
i=1^n_m_i=-^+ g_(t , z_i , t,-z_i + 2m_il ) + & & = _
i=1^n_m_i=1^ + & & -g_(t , z_i , t , -z_i ) + again the prime denotes omitting the @xmath102 term in the summation . for the neumann boundary , the renormalized graviton two - point function becomes & & g_^ r(t , z_i , t,z_i ) + & & = _
i=1^n_m_i=-^+^ g_(t , z_i , t,z_i + 2m_il ) + _
i=1^n_m_i=-^+ g_(t , z_i , t,-z_i + 2m_il ) + & & = _
i=1^n_m_i=1^ + & & + g_(t , z_i , t , -z_i ) . let us examine a light ray propagating along the @xmath9-axis starting from @xmath210 to @xmath211 . for simplicity ,
let us assume that @xmath212 .
then the mean squared fluctuation in the geodesic interval function is _
1 ^ 2 = 18(b - a)^2 _ a^b dx _
g_xxxx^r(t , x,0,0,z_i , t,x,0,0 , z_i ) . here
we have one extra dimension , and the relevant two - point function is g_xxxx(t , x,0,0,z_1 , t,x,0,0,z_1)&= & 14 ^ 2 , where @xmath213 .
we then have & & _ a^bdx_a^bdxg_xxxx(t , x,0,0,z_1 , t,x,0,0,z_1 ) + & & = 1 ^ 2|z_1| ( 1+r^2z_1 ^ 2)-r^24 ^ 2|z_1|^3 -r^2 ^ 2(r^2+z_1 ^ 2 ) |z_1| + & & f(z_1,r ) .
if gravitons satisfy the dirichlet boundary conditions , it follows that _ 1 ^ 2 & = & 18r^2 _
a^b dx g_xxxx^r(t , x,0,0,z_i , t,x,0,z_i ) + & = & - 18r^2f(2z , r ) + 18r^2 _ m=1^[2f(2ml , r)-f(2z-2ml , r)-f(2z+2ml , r ) ] .
+ here we are interested in the case in which @xmath214 and @xmath215 .
one then finds that f(2z , r)-1lr^232 ^ 2z^2lz = -1l^232 ^ 2(lz)^3 , and _
m=1^&[&2f(2ml , r)-f(2z-2ml , r)-f(2z+2ml , r ) ] + & & _ m=1^ + & & = 132 ^ 2l
_ m=1^ + & & _ m=1^ + & & _
m=1 ^ 12m^5(zl)^2 = 3 ^ 2(5)8 ^ 2l(zl)^2 . here
@xmath216 is the riemann - zeta function .
consequently , we find _
1 ^ 2 = ^2r^28 ^ 2 ^ 2l , thus , t = r t_pl ( lz)^32 ( rl)t_pl .
[ eq : t8 ] if instead of the dirichlet boundary condition , gravitons are forced to satisfy the neumann boundary condition , one finds _ 1 ^ 2 = -^2r^28 ^ 2 ^ 2l , and t = r t_pl ( lz)^32(rl)t_pl .
[ eq : t9 ] here we find that the choice of different boundary conditions has very little effect on the growth of the lightcone fluctuations as long as @xmath215 , although the fluctuations are slightly larger in the case of the neumann boundary condition .
comparing this @xmath201 with that in the case of periodical compactification eq .
( [ eq : tkk ] ) , one can see that the effect of light cone fluctuation here is larger for a given size of extra dimensions , @xmath116 .
another very distinctive feature is that here @xmath201 increases as @xmath116 increases provided that @xmath116 and @xmath217 are independent of each other , which is in sharp contrast with the case of periodical compactification .
as before , the fluctuation in the flight time of pulses , @xmath15 , can be applied to the successive wave crests of a plane wave .
this leads to a broadening of spectral lines from luminous sources . in case of periodical compactification
, we used the data from gamma ray bursters to derive a very strong lower bound on @xmath116 . in the present framework , however , we have an intrinsic lower bound @xmath218 . recall that @xmath217 is the planck length in higher dimensions which may be much larger than that in 4 dimensions . in the picture of ref .
@xcite , @xmath217 and @xmath116 are not independent , and may be expressed in terms of the planck mass in @xmath219 dimensions , @xmath220 , as l_p=210 ^ -17 ( 1tevm_p^(4+n))cm , l=10 ^ 30/n-17 ( 1tevm_p^(4+n))^1 + 2/ncm .
one has for the ratio @xmath221 = ll_p=0.510 ^ 30/n ( 1tevm_p^(4+n))^2/n .
[ eq : ratio ] express eq .
( [ eq : t8 ] ) or eq .
( [ eq : t9 ] ) as t ( lz)^12 ( rz)t_pl , [ eq : t10 ] or equivalently , t 10 ^ 15 ( 1tevm_p^(4+n))^1/n-1 r10 ^ -17 cmt_pl=10 ^ 32 ( 1tevm_p^(4+n ) ) ^1/n-1 ( r1cm)t_pl .
let @xmath220 be @xmath222tev .
then for an astronomical source of cosmological distance , such as gamma - ray bursters with redshift @xmath222 , or @xmath223 cm , we get the following estimate for the @xmath86 model t~10 ^ 6010 ^ -44s=10 ^ 16s . that is far too large , so that the @xmath86 model can be ruled out completely .
we shall only study the 6 dimensional case in some detail , but shall list results for other cases .
it is not difficult to see that the relevant two - point function can be obtained from eq .
( [ eq : g2 ] ) by replacing @xmath224 there with @xmath225 .
therefore one easily finds from eq .
( [ eq : series2 ] ) & & _ a^bdx_a^bdxg_xxxx(t , x,0,0,z_1 , z_2 , t,x,0,0,z_1 , z_2)f_2(z_1,z_2,r ) + & & = 14 ^ 3 . +
then it follows that _ 1 ^ 2 & = & 18r^2
a^b dx g_xxxx^r(t , x,0,0,z , z , t,x,0,z , z ) + & = & - 18r^2f(2z,2z , r ) + 18r^2 _ m_1=1^_m_2=1^ [ 2f(2m_1l,2m_2l , r ) + & & -f(2z-2m_1l,2z - m_2l , r)-f(2z+2m_1l,2z+2m_2l , r ) ] .
+ [ eq : sigmad ] here we are interested in the case when @xmath214 and @xmath215 .
one finds that f(2z,2z , r)-16 ^ 3l^2(lz)^2 -4 ^ 3l^2(r / z)^2 , and g(r , z , l ) & & _ m_1=1^_m_2=1^ [ 2f(2m_1l,2m_2l , r ) -f(2z-2m_1l,2z-2m_2l , r ) + & & -f(2z+2m_1l,2m_2l , r ) ] + & & 14 ^ 3l^2 _
m_1=1^_m_2=1^(-4 ^ 6 3(m_1 ^ 2+m_2 ^ 2 ) ( + m_1 ^ 2+m_2 ^ 2)^3 + & & + 2 ^ 63[(m_1+z / l)^2+(m_2+z / l)^2][^2+(m_1+z / l)^2 + ( m_2+z / l)^2 ] ^3 + & & + 2 ^ 63[(m_1-z / l)^2+(m_2-z / l)^2][^2+(m_1-z / l)^2 + ( m_2-z / l)^2 ] ^3 ) .
+ if we assume the travel distance @xmath17 is much larger than the size of the extra dimensions @xmath116 , i.e @xmath112 , @xmath226 can be approximated by integrals as follows g(r , z , l ) & & -16 ^ 3l^2 _
1/^dx_1_1/^dx_2 2(x_1 ^ 2+x_2 ^ 2)(x_1 ^ 2+x_2 ^ 2 + 1)^3 + & & + 16 ^ 3l^2 _ 1(1-z / l)^dx_1 _
1(1-z / l ) ^dx_21(x_1 ^ 2+x_2 ^ 2)(x_1 ^ 2+x_2 ^ 2 + 1)^3 + & & + 16 ^ 3l^2 _ 1(1+z / l)^dx_1 _
1(1+z / l ) ^dx_21(x_1 ^ 2+x_2 ^ 2)(x_1 ^ 2+x_2 ^ 2 + 1)^3 + & & 16 ^ 3l^2 + & = & 16 ^ 3l^2 .
+ therefore , _ 1 ^ 2 & = & 18r^2
a^b dx g_xxxx^r(t , x,0,0,z , z , t,x,0,z , z)-r^28
f(2z,2z , r ) + & & r^248 ^ 3l^2(lz)^2 + 2r^23 ^ 3l^2(r / z)^2 . hence ,
t = r(lz ) .
notice here that the leading term does not depend on the travel distance @xmath17 and moreover the next order corrections decrease as @xmath17 increases .
recall that @xmath111 .
interestingly , the lightcone fluctuation grows as the compactification scale increases .
however , if we change to the neumann boundary condition , the behavior will be different as we can see from the following analysis .
let us note that in this case _
1 ^ 2 & = & 18r^2 _
a^b dx g_xxxx^r(t , x,0,0,z , z , t,x,0,z , z ) + & = & 18r^2f(2z,2z , r ) + 18r^2 _ m_1=1^_m_2=1^ [ 2f(2m_1l,2m_2l , r ) + & & + f(2z-2m_1l,2z - m_2l , r)+f(2z+2m_1l,2z+2m_2l , r ) ] .
+ notice the sign changes in the above expression as compared to eq ( [ eq : sigmad ] ) .
then it follows that _ 1 ^ 2 & & -r^248 ^ 3l^2 ( lz)^2 -2r^23 ^ 3l^2(r / z)^2 + r^248 ^ 3l^2 + & & r^212 ^ 3l^2()-r^248 ^ 3l^2 ( lz)^2 , and t = rt_pl .
here we have two different contributing terms to the mean deviation in time ; one is independent of @xmath17 but increases as @xmath116 increases , the other grows logarithmically as @xmath17 increase or @xmath116 decreases .
similarly , we have calculated cases up to @xmath227 as motivated by string / m theory .
the results are ( all in units of @xmath228 , the planck time in four dimensions ) : for n=3 , & & t(lz)^32 , for dirichlet boundary condition + & & t , + for n=4 , & & t(lz)^2 , for dirichlet boundary condition + & & t , + for n=5 , & & t(lz)^52 , for dirichlet boundary condition + & & t , + for n=6 , & & t(lz)^3 , for dirichlet boundary condition + & & t , + [ eq : tn6 ] for n=7 , & & t(lz)^72 , for dirichlet boundary condition + & & t , for neumann boundary condition .
+ a few comments are now in order for all the cases we have examined : first , to the leading order @xmath15 does not grow as @xmath17 increases for the dirichlet boundary condition .
second , @xmath201 behaves differently for different boundary conditions , but the logarithmic dependence associated with the neumann boundary condition can be neglected as far as observation is concerned because logarithmic growth is extremely small .
third , our results seem to suggest a leading order behavior of @xmath229 for any dimensions . finally , our results are quite different from those obtained by ref .
@xcite where only the contribution of the @xmath230 term was considered and only one dominant term in the sums computed .
our results are much smaller than those obtained by these authors because of cancellations among the various terms .
we wish to gain an understanding of how large the effect of lightcone fluctuations can be in these higher dimensions and whether they might be observable . from eq .
( [ eq : ratio ] ) and the above results , one finds t~10 ^ 15t_pl ( 1tevm_p^(4+n ) ) .
[ eq : del_t_6d ] this result reveals that the smaller is @xmath231 , the larger is the effect of lightcone fluctuations .
according to ref .
@xcite , @xmath231 may as low as the order of one tev .
this leads to t~10 ^ -29s .
this is a tiny effect by conventional standards .
however if we note that the above mean time deviation is equivalent to an uncertainty in position x~10 ^ -21 m and the operation of gravity - wave interferometers is based upon the detection of minute changes in the positions of some test masses ( relative to the position of a beam splitter ) , we can see that this effect might be testable in the next ligo / virgo generation of gravity - wave interferometers @xcite .
it constitutes an additional source of noise due to quantum gravity .
currently , the sensitivity of these gravity - wave interferometers has already reached the order of @xmath232 m @xcite .
note that amelino - camelia @xcite and ng and van dam @xcite have also proposed rather different quantum gravity effects which might also be detectable by laser interferometers . a more complete discussion of the observability of the @xmath15 given by eq .
( [ eq : del_t_6d ] ) should involve a calculation of the correlation time , analogous to that performed in sect .
[ sec : corr ] for the five dimensional kaluza - klein model .
this calculation has not yet been performed .
however , it is reasonable to guess that the result will be of the order of or less than tev scale which characterizes this model
. recall that in the five dimensional compactified model , the correlation time was found to be much smaller than the compactification scale when the travel distance is large .
if this guess is correct , then the correlation time is much smaller than @xmath15 itself .
in this paper , we have examined the effects of compactified extra dimensions upon the propagation of light in the uncompactified dimensions .
there are nontrivial effects that arise from quantum fluctuations of the gravitational field , induced by the compactification .
these effects take the form of lightcone fluctuations , variations in the flight times of pulses between a source and a detector . the crucial quantity describing these fluctuations
is @xmath15 , the expected variation in arrival times of two successive pulses which are separated by more than a correlation time . in sect .
[ sec : del_t ] , we gave a derivation of the formula for @xmath15 using the geodesic deviation equation .
this derivation allowed us to discuss issues of gauge and lorentz invariance .
in particular , it demonstrates that @xmath15 is gauge invariant .
all of the subsequent explicit calculations are performed in the transverse - tracefree gauge . as a prelude
, we found the graviton two - point function in this gauge in minkowski spacetime of arbitrary dimension .
the two - point function in a higher dimensional flat compactified spacetime is given as an image sum .
we then calculated @xmath15 in the five - dimensional kaluza - klein model , five - dimensional flat spacetime with one periodic spatial dimension .
we found that @xmath15 grows linearly with increasing distance between the source and the detector , and is inversely proportional to the compactification length , @xmath116 .
this result differs from the square root dependence on distance that was found in four - dimensional flat spacetime with one periodic spatial dimension @xcite .
this demonstrates that lightcone fluctuation effects are rather model - dependent .
we also calculated the correlation time in the five - dimensional model and found that it is typically small compared to the compactification scale @xmath116 .
this allows us to place very tight constraints on the parameters of this model .
we favor the viewpoint that the lightcone fluctuation effects should vanish only in the limit that @xmath233 .
if one adopts this view , then the five - dimensional kaluza - klein model can be ruled out .
data from gamma ray burst sources imply a lower bound on @xmath116 which is larger than upper bounds obtained from other considerations .
however , another logical possibility is that lightcone fluctuation effects happen to vanish ( @xmath234 ) at the present compactification scale .
even if one adopts this viewpoint , one still obtains very strong constraints on the fractional change in @xmath116 which can have occurred over a cosmological time scale .
this in turn tightly constrains any five - dimensional kaluza - klein cosmology .
we also examined an alternative five - dimensional model ( the brane worlds scenario ) in which gravitons satisfy dirichlet or neumann boundary conditions on a pair of parallel four - dimensional branes ( one of which represents our world ) . in this model
, we again find that the lightcone fluctuations are so large that the model can be ruled out .
we next turned our attention to models with more than one extra dimension . in the case of two or more flat , periodically compactified dimensions , we found that @xmath15 grows only logarithmically with distance , and that no constraints may be placed on these models . in the case of the brane worlds scenario with more than one extra dimension
, we found that @xmath15 approaches a constant which can be of the order of @xmath235 .
this would produce a source of noise in laser interferometer detectors of gravity waves , which may eventually be within their range of sensitivity .
in summary , compactified extra dimensions have the possibility to produce observable effects by enhancing the quantum fluctuations of the gravitational field .
these effects might be used either to place constraints on theories with extra dimensions , or else possibly eventually to provide positive evidence for the existence of extra dimensions .
although our results for more than one flat compactified extra dimension are too weak for either of these purposes , the required calculations for models with curved extra dimensions have not yet been performed .
another model which has not yet been examined in this context is the randall - sundrum model @xcite , with an uncompactified fifth dimension . in this latter model , propagating graviton modes are effectively confined within a finite volume in the fifth dimension , so one might expect nonzero lightcone fluctuations .
we would like to thank ken olum for helpful discussions .
this work was supported in part by the national science foundation under grant phy-9800965 .
here we evaluate the functions @xmath236 , @xmath237 and @xmath238 defined in eqs .
( [ eq : ffunc ] ) , ( [ eq : dfunc ] ) and ( [ eq : hfunc ] ) , respectively . once these functions are given , the graviton two point functions are easy to obtain .
define r=|*x*-*x*| , t = t - t,k=|*k*|= , and assume @xmath3 extra dimensions , then d^n(x , x)&= & re d^(3+n)*k*e^i*k * ( * x*-*x*)e^-i(t - t ) + & = & re_0^k^n+1e^-iktdk _ 0^ d _ 1 ^ 1+n_1 e^i k r _ 1 + & & _ 0^ d _
2^n_2 ... _ 0^ d _ n+1_n+1 _ 0 ^ 2d_n+2 + & = & a_nre_0^k^n+1e^-iktdk _ -1 ^ 1e^ikrx(1-x^2)^n/2dx + & = & a_nre_0^k^n+1e^-iktdk _ 0 ^ 1(1-x^2)^n/2(krx)dx + & = & a_n2^n+12(n2 + 1)re 1r^n+12_0^k^n+12j_n+12(kr ) e^-iktdk + & = & a_n2^n+12(n2 + 1)re 1r^n+12_0^++it _ 0^k^n+12j_n+12(kr)e^-kdk + & = & a_n 2^n ( n2 + 1)^2(2)^3+n 1(r^2-t^2)^n/2 + 1 = ( n2 + 1)4^ n+42 1(r^2-t^2)^n/2 + 1 .
+ here we have defined a_n=_0^ d _
2^n_2 ... _ 0^ d _ n+1_n+1 _ 0 ^ 2d_n+2=2^ n2 + 1(n2 + 1 ) , and used _ 0 ^ 1(krx)(1-x^2)^n/2dx= 2(n2 + 1)(2kr)^n+12j_n+12(kr ) , and _ 0^e^-xj_(x)x^dx= ( 2)^(+1/2 ) ( ^2+^2)^+12 , re > -1/2 .
when @xmath3 is odd , @xmath239 should be taken to be zero when @xmath240 .
let us now turn our attention to the calculation of @xmath241 and @xmath242 .
we find f_ij^n(x , x)&=&re d^3+n*k*k_ik_j e^i*k * ( * x*-*x*)e^-i(t - t ) + & = & re_i_j_0^k^n-1 e^-iktdk _ 0^ d _ 1 ^ 1+n_1 e^i k r _ 1 + & & _ 0^ d _
2^n_2 ... _
0^ d _ n+1_n+1 _ 0 ^ 2d_n+2 + & = & a_nre_i_j_0^k^n-1 e^-iktdk _ 0 ^ 1(1-x^2)^n/2(krx)dx + & = & a_n2^n+12(n2 + 1 ) re_i_j ( 1r^n+12_0^k^n-32j_n+12(kr ) e^-iktdk ) + & = & a_n2^n+12(n2 + 1 ) _ i_j ( rer^n+12_0^k^n-32j_n+12(kr ) e^-iktdk ) + & = & re2(2)^3+n2_i_j ( 1r^n+12_0^k^n-32j_n+12(kr ) e^-iktdk ) + & = & re2(2)^3+n2_i_j ( n-1r^21r^n-12_0^k^n-52 j_n-12(kr)e^-iktdk + & & -1r^n+12_0^k^n-32 j_n-32(kr)e^-iktdk ) , [ eq : fn ] where we have utilized a recursive formula for bessel functions zj_-1(z)+zj_+1(z)=2j_(z ) .
similarly , one finds that h_ijkl^n(x , x)&&=re d^3+n*k*k_i k_j k_k k_le^i*k * ( * x*-*x*)e^-i(t - t ) + & & = re2(2)^3+n2_i_j_k_l ( n-1r^21r^n-12_0^k^n-92j_n-12(kr)e^-iktdk + & & -1r^21r^n+12_0^k^n-72j_n-32(kr ) e^-iktdk ) .
[ eq : hn ] to proceed further with the calculation , we need to deal with the cases when @xmath3 is odd or even separately .
assume @xmath85 and define s(m)=rer^m+1_0^k^m-1j_m+1(kr)e^-iktdk , m0 , t(m-1)&=&rer^m+1_0^k^m-1j_m-1(kr)e^-iktdk + & = & rer^m+1_0^++it_0^k^m-1j_m-1(kr ) e^-alpha kdk + & = & 2^m-1(m-1/2)r^2(r^2-t^2)^m , + & = & ( 2m-1)!!(2m-1 ) r^2(r^2-t^2)^m , m1 , where we have appealed to integral ( 6.623.1 ) in ref .
@xcite.the above result holds for @xmath243 , and @xmath244 is zero when @xmath240
. then it follows from eq ( [ eq : fn ] ) that f^2m+1_ij=12(2)^m+2_i_j(s(m ) ) , [ eq : f ] and s(m)=2mr^2s(m-1)-t(m-1 ) [ eq : recursive1 ] using the recursive relation eq ( [ eq : recursive1 ] ) , we can show that s(m)&=&(2m)!!r^2ms(0)-_k=1^m(2m)!!(2k)!!t(k-1)r^2m-2k + & = & ( 2m)!!r^2ms(0 ) + & = & -(2m)!!r^2ms(0)_k=0^m(2k+1)!!(2k)!!(2k+1)(2k-1 ) r^2k(r^2-t^2)^k . here
s(0)=\ { if we define q(m)=rer^m+1_0^k^m-3j_m+1(kr ) e^-iktdk , m0 , then it is easy to see that h_ijkl^2m+1=12(2)^m+2_i_j _
k_l(q(m ) ) , and q(m)=2mr^2q(m-1)-1r^2s(m-2 ) .
[ eq : recursive2 ] the above equation applies for @xmath246 . to use it to get a general expression , we need @xmath247 , which is given by q(0)&=&1r_0^ 1k^3j_1(kr)(kt)dk + & = & _ 0 1r_0^ k^-1(k^2+^2)j_1(kr)(kt)dk + & = & _ 0 1re^-ti_1(r)^2 = 12 - 12 t + this leads to a vanishing @xmath248 .
we next need @xmath249 , which can be calculated , using integral ( 6.693.5 ) in ref .
@xcite , as follows q(1)&=&1r^2_0^
j_2(rk)(t k)k^2dk + & = & \ { .
+ in the above calculation , we have made use of the following trigonometric relations ( 3x)=4 ^ 3(x)-3(x ) , ( x)=. + therefore one finds , using the recursive relation eq ( [ eq : recursive2 ] ) , q(m)&=&(2m)!!2r^2m-2q(1)-1r^2_k=2^m(2m)!!(2k)!!s(k-2)r^2m-2k + & = & ( 2m)!!r^2m-2 . +
this expression can be simplified if we note that _ k = j+2^m 1k(k-1)= _
k=2^m 1k(k-1)-_k=2^j+1 1k(k-1 ) = m - j-1m(j+1 ) , and & & _ k=2^m_j=0^k-2 ( 2j+1)!!2k(2k-2)(2j)!!(2j+1)(2j-1 ) r^2j(r^2-t^2)^js(0 ) ] + & & = _
j=0^m-2_k = j+2^m ( 2j+1)!!2k(2k-2)(2j)!!(2j+1)(2j-1 ) r^2j(r^2-t^2)^js(0 ) ] + & & = _ j=0^m-2 ( m - j-1)(2j+1)!!4m(j+1)(2j)!!(2j+1)(2j-1 ) r^2j(r^2-t^2)^js(0 ) ] + so , we have in this case d^2m+1= \ { let @xmath88 with @xmath250 .
the graviton two - point functions for @xmath251 corresponding to the usual 4 dimensional spacetime have been given previously @xcite .
the analog of eq .
( [ eq : f ] ) for this case is f^2m_ij=12(2)^m+32 _
i_j(s(m-12 ) ) . here
s(m-1/2)=2m-1r^2s(m-32)-t(m-32 ) .
[ eq : recursive3 ] using this recursive relation , we can express @xmath252 in terms of s(1/2 ) which is calculated , by employing j_n+12(z)=(-1)^nz^n+12 ( zz ) , to be s(1/2)&&=1r^32_0^k^-1/2j_32(rk)(t k)dk + & & = -_0^ddk((rk)k ) ( t k)dk + & & = -(1r^3(rk)(t k)k |_0^+ tr^3_0^(rk)(t k)kdk ) + & & = ( 1r^2-t4 r^3(r+tr - t)^2 ) .
it then follows that s(m-1/2)&&=(2m-1)!!r^2m-2s(1/2)-_k=2^m(2m-1)!!(2k-1 ) ! ! t(k-3/2)r^2m-2k + & & = ( 2m-1)!!r^2 m .
+ similarly , one has for @xmath253 h^2m_ijkl=12(2)^m+32_i_j_k_l ( q(m-12 ) ) , and q(m-1/2)=2m-1r^2q(m-32)-1r^2s(m-52 ) .
[ eq : recursive4 ] now the calculation becomes a little tricky .
first , let us note that @xmath254 has already been given @xcite and the recursive relation eq ( [ eq : recursive4 ] ) can only be applied when @xmath255 .
so , we need both @xmath256 and @xmath257 or @xmath258 and @xmath259 as our basis to use the recursive relation for a general expression . because there is an infrared divergence in the @xmath258 integral , so , as we did in the 4 dimensional case , we will introduce a regulator @xmath260 in the denominator of the integrand and then let @xmath260 approach 0 after the integration is performed . noting that j_32(z)=(zz - z ) , we obtain q(1/2)&=&1r^32_0^k^-52 j_32(kr)(kt)dk + & & = ( 1r^3 _ 0^dkk^4 kr kt-1r^2 _ 0^dkk^3 kr kt ) + & & = _ 0(-1r^3 12 _ 0^kr ktk^2+^2dk + & & + 1r^212 _
0^ kkrktk^2+^2 dk ) .
+ we next use _ 0^(ax)(bx)^2+x^2dx= & & 14e^-a \{e^bei[(a - b)]+e^-bei[(a+b ) ] } + & & -14e^a \{e^bei[-(a+b)]+e^-bei[-(a - b ) ] } , _ 0^x(ax)(bx)^2+x^2dx= & & -14e^-a \{e^bei[(a - b)]+e^-bei[(a+b ) ] } + & & -14e^a \{e^bei[-(a+b)]+e^-bei[-(a - b ) ] } , where @xmath261 is the exponential - integral function , and the fact that , when @xmath9 is small , + |x|+x+14x^2 + 118x^3+o(x^4 ) , where @xmath175 is the euler constant . after expanding @xmath258 around @xmath262 to the order of @xmath263 ,
one finds q(1/2)&=&_0 ( 518 - 13 - 13 ( ) -16(r^2-t^2 ) + & & -t^26r^2+t8r(t^23 r^2 - 1 ) ( r+tr - t)^2 ) .
note , however , that what we need is @xmath248 which involves differentiation of @xmath258 , therefore we can discard the constant and divergent terms in @xmath258 as far as @xmath248 is concerned . to calculate @xmath259 ,
let us recall that q(3/2)=3r^2q(1/2)-1r^2s(-1/2 ) and note that @xmath264 is given by @xmath265 times eq ( a19 ) in ref .
@xcite thus , we have q(3/2)=(-16r^2 -t^22r^4+t8r^3(t^2r^2 - 1 ) ( r+tr - t)^2 ) . with @xmath259 at hand
, it is easy to show that for an arbitrary @xmath255 q(m-1/2)&=&(2m-1)!!3r^2m-4q(3/2)- 1r^2_k=3^m(2m-1)!!(2k-1)!!s(k-5/2)r^2m-2k + & = & ( 2m-1)!!r^2m-4(13q(3/2)-_k=3^m 1(2k-1)(2k-3)s(1/2 ) + & & + 1r^4_k=3^m_j=2^k-2 2^j-2(j-1)(2j-1)!!(2k-1)(2k-3)r^2j(r^2-t^2)^j-1 ) + & = & ( 2m-1)!!r^2m-4(13q(3/2)-_k=3^m 1(2k-1)(2k-3)s(1/2 ) + & & + 1r^4_j=2^m-2 ( m - j-1)2^j-2(j-1)(2m-1)(2j+1)!!r^2j(r^2-t^2)^j-1 ) . + here in the last step ,
we have made use of the following results _
k = j+2^m 1(2k-1)(2k-3)&= & _
k=2^m 1(2k-1)(2k-3)-_k=2^j+1 1(2k-1)(2k-3 ) + & = & m - j-1(2m-1)(2j+1 ) , and _
k=3^m_j=2^k-2f(j)g(k)=_k=4^m_j=2^k-2f(j)g(k ) = _ j=2^m-2f(j)_k=2+j^mg(k ) .
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considerable theoretical effort is currently directed toward understanding the coalescence of binary neutron stars .
the interest stems partly from the promise such coalescence holds for generating gravitational waves that can be detected by laser interferometers now under construction , like ligo , virgo and geo .
additional interest is triggered by the idea that neutrinos generated during the merger and coalescence might be the source of gamma rays bursts ( see , e.g. , paczyski , 1986 ; eichler _ et .
al . _ , 1989 ; janka & ruffert , 1996 ) .
most of the theoretical work has , to date , been performed in a newtonian framework ( see , e.g. , rasio & shapiro , 1994 ; ruffert , janka & schfer 1996 ; zhuge , centrella & mcmillan , 1996 ) . only a few hydrodynamical calculations have taken into account post - newtonian corrections ( oohara & nakamura , 1995 ; shibata , oohara & nakamura , 1997 ) , while results from calculations in full general relativity are very preliminary ( oohara & nakamura , 1995 ; wilson & mathews , 1995 ; wilson , mathews & marronetti , 1996 ) .
there are a number of issues , however , that can not be addressed even qualitatively in newtonian gravitation .
such issues include the collapse of the merged remnant to a black hole .
such a collapse is quite likely because the mass of the remnant will probably exceed the maximum allowed mass for a single neutron star .
however , the final fate of the collapse is completely unknown if the remnant s angular momentum parameter @xmath1 exceeds unity . in this case
, the remnant can not form a kerr black hole without first losing some of its angular momentum . in principle , angular momentum could be radiated away by the emission of gravitational waves , neutrinos , and/or electromagnetic ( e.g. magnetic dipole ) radiation . during the coalescence of the two neutron stars some fraction of the kinetic energy will be converted into thermal energy .
therefore the remnant is likely to be hot and emit thermal neutrinos . during the rapid plunge of the binary
once it reaches the innermost stable circular orbit ( isco ) , the angular momentum of the system will be conserved approximately , so the remnant will be rotating very rapidly . in their fully relativistic treatment of corotating , polytropic binaries in quasiequilibrium circular orbit , baumgarte _ et .
( 1997a , 1997b ) found that , for a polytropic equation of state with polytropic index @xmath2 , the total @xmath1 of the binary system at the isco exceeds unity for all binaries in which each member has a rest mass @xmath3 .
here @xmath4 is the maximum allowed rest mass of a nonrotating , isolated , cold neutron star , and @xmath5 , @xmath6 and @xmath7 denote the total rest mass , energy and angular momentum of the binary system . for more realistic , nonsynchronous binaries ,
@xmath1 is likely to be somewhat smaller , but may still be appreciable . for many of these binaries
the rest mass of the merged remnant also exceeds @xmath4 . immediately following merger
, these objects may be temporarily stabilized by thermal pressure and angular momentum .
only after some of the thermal energy and angular momentum have been radiated away can the star later collapse to a black hole .
the ultimate fate of such an object can only be established by a three - dimensional , relativistic hydrodynamic numerical simulation which employs a hot nuclear equation or state and full neutrino radiation transport . while the development of such a code is underway by several groups , it is still very far from complete .
our goal in this paper is to isolate the role of the neutrino emission in the early evolution following merger and to estimate its effect on the angular momentum @xmath7 and the angular momentum parameter @xmath1 .
to do so , we consider a simplified scenario for the post - merger neutron star remnant and imagine that the remnant evolves to an axisymmetric , quasi - equilibrium state on a dynamical ( orbital ) timescale immediately following merger . since the merger follows a rapid plunge from the isco , the merged remnant forms with the same total mass @xmath6 , the rest mass @xmath5 and the angular momentum @xmath7 of the progenitor binary at the isco ( here we neglect the small loss of mass and angular momentum via gravitational waves and gas ejection during the dynamical plunge ) .
accordingly , @xmath1 will typically be near unity .
we assume that the merged configuration quickly settles into uniformly rotating , dynamically stable quasiequilibrium state and focus on its quasi - static evolution .
we show that the emission of neutrinos is very inefficient in carrying off @xmath7 .
depending on the stiffness of the equation of state , this emission may lead to either an increase or a decrease of @xmath1 . also , we argue that these objects typically develop a bar instability on a timescale comparable or shorter than the neutrino emission timescale .
we therefore conclude that while neutrino emission may be important for the cooling of the remnant , it is negligible for the emission of angular momentum
. the paper is organized as follows . in section 2
we estimate the rate of angular momentum loss by neutrino emission . in section
3 we incorporate our estimate in a post - newtonian , ellipsoidal model calculation , that follows the post - merger evolution of the remnant .
the equations and formalism for this approximation are presented in appendix a. in section 4 we compare the relevant timescales for angular momentum loss by competing processes , and we summarize our conclusions in section 5 .
consider a neutrino @xmath8 with four - momentum @xmath9 emitted from the surface of a uniformly rotating axisymmetric equilibrium star into an arbitrary direction .
a local observer with four velocity @xmath10 comoving with the surface will measure the neutrino s energy to be @xmath11 here and throughout the paper we adopt geometrized units , @xmath12 .
since the spacetime is stationary and axisymmetric , the components @xmath13 and @xmath14 are conserved along the neutrino s path . therefore , a distant observer at rest with respect to the star s center of mass will measure the neutrino s energy to be @xmath15 a distant observer will identify the neutrino s angular momentum to be @xmath16 combining the last three equations yields the familiar result ( e.g. , thorne , 1971 ) @xmath17 where @xmath18 is the angular velocity of the rotation .
the luminosity as measured by a local , comoving observer can be defined as @xmath19 where @xmath20 is the observer s proper time .
equation ( [ fl0 ] ) can then be rewritten @xmath21 where the dot denotes a derivative with respect to @xmath20 .
equation ( [ fl ] ) is fully relativistic .
the relation between @xmath22 and @xmath23 depends on the characteristics of the emission of the neutrinos from the star s surface , as well as the relativistic structure of the star . establishing this relationship
therefore requires detailed numerical models of radiating , relativistic , rotating stars .
instead , we adopt a simple , first - order newtonian description to find the approximate relationship given by equation ( [ dotj2 ] ) below .
we assume that the neutrinos are emitted isotropically in the rest frame of a local stationary observer comoving with the surface .
an observer in a nonrotating static frame will therefore find that , on average , each neutrino carries off some angular momentum .
this angular momentum can be found by lorentz transforming from the stationary frame into the static frame .
to lowest order in @xmath24 we find that , on average , each neutrino carries off a linear momentum @xmath25 , where @xmath26 is the angular velocity of the star , @xmath27 the distance of the surface element from the axis of rotation , and @xmath28 is the energy of the neutrino in the comoving frame ( equation ( 1 ) ) . the corresponding angular momentum is @xmath29 the total rate of loss of angular momentum is therefore ( see also kazanas , 1977 ) @xmath30 where @xmath22 is the neutrino luminosity and @xmath31 denotes the average of @xmath32 over the surface of the star .
we can get a reasonable estimate for this average by adopting a rotating , compressible ellipsoid model for the star ( see lai , rasio & shapiro , 1993 , hereafter lrs ) . if we denote the principal axes by @xmath33 , @xmath34 and @xmath35 ( where @xmath36 is measured in the equatorial plane and @xmath35 is along the rotation axis ) , we find @xmath37 where f(e ) & & ^a_1_0 ^3 ( ) ^1/2 d & = & 1 - e^2 + o(e^4 ) . here
@xmath38 is the eccentricity , and @xmath39 is the surface area of the ellipsoid .
note that @xmath40 even for large eccentricities .
it is convenient to rewrite equation ( [ dotj1 ] ) in terms of the angular momentum @xmath7 and the moment of inertia @xmath41 .
the latter is @xmath42 , where @xmath43 is a dimensionless structure constant of order unity which depends on the star s density profile . for a polytropic equation of state @xmath44 where @xmath45 is the pressure , @xmath46 the rest mass density , @xmath47
the polytropic index and @xmath48 the polytropic constant , @xmath43 can be derived from the lane - emden function ( see , e.g , lrs ) . equation ( [ dotj1 ] )
can then be written @xmath49 from equation ( [ dotj2 ] ) , we find that the angular momentum @xmath7 changes by at most ( huet , 1996 ) @xmath50 assuming that the merged remnant radiates away all of its thermal energy @xmath51 prior to collapse . the ratio @xmath52 following merger can be estimated by taking the progenitor stars to be cold , with @xmath53 , prior to reaching the isco . during the subsequent plunge and merger ,
a part of the kinetic energy will be converted into thermal energy by contact shocks ( rasio & shapiro , 1994 ; ruffert , janka & schfer , 1996 ) . in the extreme case of a head - on collision ,
a very large part of the kinetic energy will be converted into heat .
the isco , however , usually occurs at a very small separation of the stars , and therefore we expect that only a small part of the kinetic energy will be converted into heat . to estimate @xmath54 , we construct post - newtonian , compressible ellipsoid models of hot , uniformly rotating stars , generalizing the cold post - newtonian models of lombardi , rasio and shapiro ( 1997 ) . matching these configurations to binary models at the isco calculated by baumgarte _ et .
( 1997b ) , we typically find @xmath55 , where @xmath56 is the total internal energy , excluding the thermal energy ( i. e. kinetic energy of degenerate nucleons ; see section 3 and appendix a ) .
since for typical neutron stars @xmath57 , we have @xmath58 few percent following merger .
hence , from equation ( [ deltaj ] ) , we expect that the relative change of the angular momentum due to neutrino emission can be at most a few percent .
we conclude that neutrinos are very inefficient in reducing the merged remnant s angular momentum .
we now focus on the change in @xmath1 associated with the neutrino luminosity @xmath22 : [ cri0 ] & = & - 2 & = & ( 1 - 4 - ) . here
we have used equations ( [ fl ] ) and ( [ dotj2 ] ) as well as @xmath59 .
the magnitude of @xmath1 therefore _ increases _ if @xmath60 for a dynamically stable rotating ellipsoid with rotational velocity @xmath61 and @xmath62 ( see below ) , we have @xmath63 , @xmath64 and @xmath40 , so that this criterion reduces to @xmath65 the critical value of @xmath66 corresponds to a polytropic index of @xmath67 ( see , e.g. , lrs , table 1 ) .
neutrino radiation thus leads to an _ increase _ of the angular momentum parameter @xmath1 for all equations of state with @xmath68 .
interestingly , the value of @xmath67 is very close to typical values that are expected in realistic neutron star equations of state .
note that we have derived this numerical value in the limit of slow rotation . for rapid rotation , as in the numerical example of section 3 , we find that the value for @xmath69 increases in the ellipsoidal approximation . for values of @xmath47 close to @xmath69 , the terms on the left hand side of equation ( [ cri1 ]
) will always be close to zero .
according to equation ( [ cri0 ] ) , the fractional change of @xmath1 will therefore be much smaller than the fractional change of @xmath7 , which we have estimated to be in the order of a few percent at most .
nevertheless , it is interesting to note that the emission of neutrinos can lead to an increase in @xmath1 , and that for nearly newtonian configurations the sign of the change is determined essentially by the stiffness of the equation of state .
= 2.5 in to illustrate these effects , we dynamically evolve axisymmetric post - newtonian , compressible ellipsoid models of hot neutron star merger remnants . we employ the formalism of lai , rasio & shapiro ( 1994 ) , supplemented by post - newtonian corrections ( lombardi , rasio & shapiro , 1997 ) and thermal contributions to the internal energy .
the thermal corrections are taken into account by naively decomposing the polytropic constant @xmath48 in ( [ eos ] ) into a linear sum of a cold and a hot contribution , @xmath70 . the complete formalism and equations
can be found in appendix a. = 2.5 in for initial data we construct equilibrium configurations as described in appendix a.3 .
these models of hot , rotating neutron stars form a three parameter family , which can be uniquely determined by the central density , the eccentricity and the thermal heat content @xmath71 .
we can choose these three parameters such that the stars rest mass @xmath5 , total energy @xmath6 and angular momentum @xmath7 match those of binary configurations at the isco as calculated by baumgarte _ et .
al _ ( 1997a , b ) . here , we summarize results for two different progenitor binary models with @xmath72 and @xmath73 ( see lines 5 and 6 of table 2 in baumgarte _ et .
al . _ , 1997b , for the binary parameters ) .
the two models differ by how close the stellar masses are to the maximum allowed mass of an isolated star in spherical equilibrium .
we pick these two particular cases since their evolution turns out to be qualitatively different . for both models , we fix @xmath74 such that the rest mass of the remant is @xmath75 , since observed binary neutron stars all have gravitational masses close to 1.4 @xmath76 , corresponding to rest masses @xmath77 .
@xmath74 is determined by the relation @xmath78 , where the nondimensional quantity @xmath79 is given in table 2 . for model 1 ( line 5 of table 2 in baumgarte _
al . _ , 1997b ) , we have @xmath80 . in our post - newtonian approximation
, this yields a maximum allowed rest mass of @xmath81 ( corresponding to a maximum allowed gravitational mass of @xmath82 ) for isolated , nonrotating cold stars .
these values are consistent with those obtained from recent , realistic nuclear equations of state ( see , e.g. , pandharipande , 1997 ) .
the initial gravitational energy of model 1 is @xmath83 and the initial angular momentum parameter is @xmath84 .
the remnant has an eccentricity of @xmath85 , a thermal heat content @xmath86 and @xmath87 km .
the thermal energy in this model corresponds to a maximum temperature of @xmath88 mev . for model 2 ( line 6 ) , we have @xmath89 , corresponding to @xmath90 and @xmath91 , so that this model s rest mass exceeds the maximum allowed rest mass by a larger amount than model 1 .
it has an initial gravitational mass of @xmath92 and @xmath93 , corresponding to a remnant of @xmath94 , @xmath95 , and @xmath96 km . here
the maximum temperature is @xmath97 mev , which is similar to typical values found by ruffert , janka & schfer ( 1996 ) .
we show the dynamical evolution of these two models in figures 1 and 2 . even though the rest mass of model 1 greatly exceeds @xmath98 , it is dynamically stabilized , within our approximations , by its high angular momentum , even after all the thermal energy has been radiated away . by contrast ,
model 2 collapses after it has emitted part of its thermal energy . in model 1 ,
the angular momentum decreases by @xmath99 , while @xmath1 _ increases _ by @xmath100 .
this shows that post - newtonian corrections in an ellipsoid approximation , as well as rotation and deviations from sphericity , cause the the critical polytropic index @xmath69 to increase to a value greater than one . in model 2 , the changes in @xmath7 and @xmath1 show the same trends but are smaller , because the star emits only a small part of the thermal energy before it collapses . in a fully relativistic treatment
, the collapse would not proceed directly to a black hole , because the kerr limit on @xmath1 would be exceeded .
binaries with masses closer to the maximum nonrotating mass have @xmath101 ( see table 2 in in baumgarte _ et .
al . _ , 1997b ) .
their remnants could collapse directly to kerr black holes .
note also that the neutrino luminosity _ increases _ as model 2 undergoes delayed collapse .
this is in contrast to spherically symmetric results for delayed collapse ( baumgarte , shapiro & teukolsky , 1996 ; baumgarte _ et .
al . _ , 1996 ) , in which the luminosity always _ decreases _ during collapse .
this difference can be understood from a simple geometrical scaling argument . as explained in detail in appendix a , we assume for simplicity that we can write the thermal energy in the polytropic form @xmath102 ( equation ( [ eps_therm ] ) ) . in the high temperature limit , @xmath103 , so that @xmath104 . taking the surface area of the ellipsoid to be @xmath105 we find from ( [ l ] ) that in the diffusion approximation the luminosity scales as @xmath106 for spherically symmetric collapse , @xmath107 and @xmath108 . for all @xmath109 ( which accomodates most realistic equations of state ) ,
spherically symmetric collapse therefore leads to a decrease of the luminosity : the neutrino optical thickness increases faster than the thermal energy increases .
if , however , the star collapses to a pancake , as in figure 2 , @xmath33 will remain finite , and @xmath110 . in this case
the increase of the thermal energy overcomes the increase of the optical thickness , and the luminosity increases . whenever the surface of a collapsing star approaches a newly formed event horizon , the luminosity
will always be suppressed by the increasing redshift and black hole capture .
these effects are absent in our model calculations .
nevertheless , our results suggest that the collapse of a rapidly rotating , hot neutron star following merger may leave a very distinct signature in the neutrino signal .
so far we have focussed on the emission of neutrinos and their role in the evolution of the merged remnant . to estimate
if this evolution is indeed governed by neutrinos , we now compare the timescale for the neutrino emission with those associated with eletromagnetic and gravitational radiation .
the timescale for the emission of the neutrinos is given by the diffusion time , @xmath111 .
taking @xmath112 to be rosseland mean opacity due to scattering off nondegenerate neutrons and protons ( see , e.g. , baumgarte , shapiro & teukolsky , 1996 ) , we find _ & ~ & r^2 ~ + & ~ & 4 ( ) ^2 ( ) ( ) ^-1 .
assuming that electromagnetic emission is dominated by a magnetic dipole radiation , its timescale can be estimated from ( see , e.g. , shapiro & teukolsky , 1983 ) _ em & ~ & ~ & ~ & 7 10 ^ 7 ( ) ( ) ^-2 & & ( ) ^-4 ( ) ^-2 . clearly , @xmath113 is by many orders of magnitudes larger than @xmath111 . electromagnetic radiation is therefore negligible in the early evolution of hot neutron stars , unless the magnetic fields are extreme ( @xmath114 g ) .
an axisymmetric , stationary star does not emit gravitational waves .
however , if the ratio of the kinetic and potential energy @xmath115 is large enough , the star will develop a bar instability and will then emit gravitational radiation . more specifically
, the star is secularly unstable to the formation of a bar mode if @xmath116 , and dynamically unstable if @xmath117 ( chandrasekhar , 1969 ; shapiro & teukolsky , 1983 ; see stergioulas & friedman , 1997 , and friedman & morsink , 1997 , for a recent relativistic treatment ) . writing @xmath118 in terms of the ellipsoidal expressions ( [ w ] ) and ( [ t_rot ] ) , we find [ beta ] t & = & ( ) ^2 & ~ & 2 ( ) ^2 .
since relativistic configurations typically have @xmath119 , this suggests that all neutron stars , rotating with @xmath120 , have @xmath121 and are at least secularly unstable to the formation of a bar mode .
this is in agreement with the general relativistic , numerical models of cook , shapiro & teukolsky ( 1992 ) . for @xmath122 ,
the timescale for the formation of a bar mode driven by gravitational radiation can be approximated by ( see , e.g. , friedman & schutz , 1975 ; lai & shapiro , 1995 ) @xmath123 note that shear viscosity can also drive a bar mode instability , but it is inefficient in hot neutron stars with @xmath124 mev as is the case here ( see bonazzola , frieben & gourgoulhon , 1996 , and references therein ) . once a bar has fully developed , the gravitational radiation dissipation timescale can be estimated from the quadrupole emission formula & & _ grav ~ ~ ~ & & ~ 4 10 ^ -3 ( ) ( ) ^-2 ( ) ^-4 . for @xmath125 ,
the total gravitational radiation timescale @xmath126 is therefore dominated by the initial growth time @xmath127 .
since @xmath127 strongly depends on @xmath118 , this timescale is quite uncertain .
however , the estimate ( [ beta ] ) suggests that for compact stars with @xmath120 , we have @xmath128 s. we then see that the evolution of these merged stars is characterized by the formation of a bar mode ( see lai & shapiro , 1995 ) and emission of gravitational waves , which may then carry off angular momentum very efficiently
. in some cases , @xmath129 , and a bar may develop on a dynamical timescale ( @xmath130 few ms ; see rasio & shapiro ( 1994 ) for a numerical demonstration ) .
we conclude that neutrinos are very inefficient in carrying off angular momentum from hot , massive remnants of neutron star binary mergers , even if these are rapidly rotating and have an angular momentum parameter @xmath120 .
curiously , neutrino emission may even _ increase _ @xmath1 by a small amount .
we find that the timescale for the formation of a bar mode may , for such objects , be much shorter than the neutrino emission timescale . for pure gravitational radiation the third term in equations ( [ cri0 ] ) and ( [ cri1 ] ) vanishes , so that @xmath1 always decreases .
this suggests that gravitational waves will be faster and more efficient in reducing @xmath1 than neutrinos .
together , these arguments may have important consequences for gravitational wave detectors , since they suggest that the evolution of mergered binary remnants will be dominated by the emission of gravitational waves .
in particular , should @xmath1 be larger than unity upon merger , gravitational waves seem to be the only means by which @xmath1 can be efficiently reduced to a value smaller than unity , so that the entire merged configuration can collapse to a black hole .
otherwise , hydrodynamic stresses will have to support or expel some of the matter to allow the interior regions to collapse .
these arguments imply that , except for cooling and deleptonizing , neutrino emission plays a very minor role in determining the mass and spin of the final configuration ( black hole or rotating neutron star ) .
however , because of the role in inducing delayed collapse in some cases , the neutrinos will have to be included in calculations of the late stages of coalescence .
gravitational radiation will play a very important role in determining the final mass and spin of the black hole or neutron star .
this result strengthens the conclusion that a fully general relativistic description of binary neutron star mergers is essential for full understanding .
note that our arguments apply to massive , hot , rotating neutron stars in general , and not only to the remnants of binary neutron stars .
for example , they equally apply to newly formed , hot neutron stars in supernovae .
it has recently been suggested that these stars may be stable initially , but may later deleptonize , undergo a phase transition and collapse to a black hole ( see , e.g. , brown & bethe , 1994 ) .
alternatively , such a delayed collapse might result from the loss of angular momentum from a nascent , rapidly rotating neutron star which is stabilized initially by its high spin .
neutrino emission could , in principle , reduce this angular momentum and hence induce collapse .
while for type ii supernovae @xmath52 is slightly larger than in the examples presented in section 3 , our arguments show that the neutrino emission is still very inefficient in carrying off angular momentum .
this fact makes this scenario very unlikely ( huet , 1996 ) .
similarly , our analysis suggests that neutrino emission plays a negligible role in determining the quasi - steady spin rate of accreting neutron stars at the center of thorne - zytkow objects , which have recently been suggested to be likely sources of gravitational waves for detection by geo ( schutz , 1997 ) .
it is a pleasure to thank patrick huet and chris pethick for stimulating our interest in some of the issues discussed in this paper , and fred lamb and james lombardi for useful discussions .
this paper was supported in part by nsf grant ast 96 - 18524 and nasa grant nag 5 - 3420 to the university of illinois at urbana - champaign .
the total energy of an axisymmetric , rotating , hot neutron star can , in a post - newtonian , ellipsoidal approximation , be written as the sum @xmath131 where @xmath132 is the internal energy , @xmath133 the potential energy , @xmath134 the kinetic energy , and @xmath135 and @xmath136 are post - newtonian corrections to the internal and potential energy . including the post - newtonian terms
not only improves the solution for relativistic stars quantitatively , but also , more importantly , it changes the solution qualitatively . without the post - newtonian corrections , a graph of the rest mass @xmath5 as a function of the central density @xmath137 exhibits no turning point . by including the post - newtonian terms
, we find turning points reasonably close to the turning points of the corresponding fully relativistic ( tolman - oppenheimer - volkov ) solution ( see lombardi , rasio & shapiro , 1997 ) .
since these turning points give the maximum allowed mass configuration , the post - newtonian corrections allow us to approximate the onset of radial instability and to mimic the delayed collapse of hot , rotating neutron stars to black holes .
we assume a polytropic equation of state @xmath138 and crudely account for thermal pressure by taking the constant @xmath48 to have a cold contribution due to degenerate nucleons , @xmath74 , and a hot contribution due to thermal heating , @xmath139 : @xmath140 the internal thermal energy density @xmath141 is therefore taken to be of the form @xmath142 while @xmath74 is assumed to be constant in both space and time , we allow @xmath139 to depend on time , keeping it constant throughout the star .
integrating the energy density over the star allows us to write the total internal energy in terms of the central density @xmath137 as a sum of a cold and a hot contribution @xmath143 where @xmath144 is a dimensionless structure constant that depends on the density profile , i.e. the polytropic index @xmath47 .
numerical values for @xmath144 can be found , for example , in lrs ( see table 1 ) . in terms of the mean radius @xmath145 the central density
can be written @xmath146 where we have defined @xmath147 and where @xmath148 and @xmath149 are the usual lane - emden parameters for a polytrope ( see , e.g. , chandrasekhar , 1939 ) .
the internal energy can therefore be rewritten @xmath150 the potential energy @xmath133 is given by [ w ] w & = & - ( 1 - e^2)^1/6 + & = & - ^-1/3 m_0 ^ 5/3 _ c^1/3 ( 1 - e^2)^1/6 . introducing the dimensionless coefficients @xmath151 ( chandrasekhar , 1969 , @xmath152 ) @xmath153 and @xmath154 ( for @xmath155 ) , the potential energy can be rewritten @xmath156 where @xmath157 the last term @xmath158 takes into account corrections to the potential energy due to deviations from sphericity .
note that partial derivatives of @xmath159 take the form @xmath160 so that @xmath161 ( see chandrasekhar , 1969 ) . assuming the star to be uniformly rotating ,
the kinetic energy @xmath134 can written as a sum of a contribution due to expansion @xmath162 and a contribution due to spin @xmath163 here the moment of inertia is given by @xmath164 and @xmath43 is a structure constants of order unity that depends only on the polytropic index @xmath47 ( see , e.g. , lrs ) following lombardi , rasio & shapiro ( 1997 ) , the post - newtonian corrections can be written u_pn & = & - l_1 k _ c^1/n + 1/3 m_0 ^ 5/3 & = & -l_1 k ^1/n + 1/3 and @xmath165 numerical values for the structure constants @xmath166 and @xmath167 are calculated in lombardi , rasio & shapiro ( 1997 ) .
both post - newtonian terms are correct in this form only for spherical configurations .
however , we shall assume the slow rotation limit ( @xmath168 ) , for which corrections arising from deviations from sphericity are higher order and will be neglected . from these energy contributions we can now construct the lagrangian @xmath169 where the @xmath170 are the independent variables @xmath171 and @xmath172 ( with @xmath173 ) .
the dynamics of the system is then governed by the euler - lagrange equations @xmath174 the angular momentum can be defined as @xmath175 since @xmath172 is an ignorable coordinate of the lagrangian ( [ lagrangian ] ) , the euler - lagrange equations imply that @xmath7 is conserved on a dynamical timescale .
however , we want to allow for the radiation of angular momentum on a secular timescale by the emission of neutrinos , so we will therefore allow for an external dissipation term on the right hand side of equation ( [ el ] ) when @xmath176 : @xmath177 note also that when we allow @xmath139 to decrease with time as the star cools ( see equation ( [ dotkhot ] ) below ) , the system will no longer conserve energy .
we now find that the euler - langrange equations yield @xmath178 & & k \left(\frac{1}{n } + \frac{1}{3}\right ) \beta^{1/n + 1/3 } \frac{5 l_1}{\kappa_n } \frac{m_0^{1/n+1}}{r^{3/n+1}a_1 } - \nn & & \frac{10}{3 } \beta^{2/3 } \frac{l_2}{\kappa_n } \frac{m_0 ^ 2}{r^2 a_1 } - \frac{5}{2\kappa_n } \frac{3}{5 - n}\frac{m_0}{r^3}a_1 a_1 , \nn \ddot a_3 & = & k \beta^{1/n } \frac{5 k_1}{n \kappa_n }
\frac { m_0^{1/n}}{r^{3/n } } - \\[1 mm ] & & k \left(\frac{1}{n } + \frac{1}{3}\right ) \beta^{1/n + 1/3 } \frac{5 l_1}{\kappa_n } \frac{m_0^{1/n+1}}{r^{3/n+1}a_3 } - \nn & & \frac{10}{3 } \beta^{2/3 } \frac{l_2}{\kappa_n } \frac{m_0 ^ 2}{r^2 a_3 } - \frac{5}{2\kappa_n } \frac{3}{5 - n}\frac{m_0}{r^3}a_3 a_3 , \nonumber\end{aligned}\ ] ] and @xmath179 in the absence of neutrino emission ( @xmath180 ) , these ordinary differential equations completely describe the adiabatic evolution of a uniformly rotating , axisymmetric neutron star in a post - newtonian ellipsoid approximation .
they represent in this limit the ellipsoidal analogue of the post - newtonian equations of hydrodynamics for an adiabadic gas . in order to allow for cooling and loss of angular momentum
, we have to supplement this system of equations with expressions for @xmath181 and @xmath182 .
we approximate the thermal energy contribution from hot nucleons by @xmath183 ( strictly true in the limit of high temperatures ) , and add to it the thermal radiation of photons , electron - positron pairs and @xmath184 flavors of ( nondegenerate ) neutrinos @xmath185 the total thermal energy density is then given by @xmath186 this expression can be used to estimate the temperature @xmath134 . adopting the rosseland mean opacity arising from scattering off nondegenerate neutrons and protons , the neutrino opacity takes the form @xmath187 where @xmath188 is the baryon mass , @xmath189 the electron mass , and @xmath190 .
the neutrino luminosity can then be estimated via the diffusion formula @xmath191 where @xmath192 is the average density . since @xmath193
, we expect that the `` preferred '' direction of diffusion is along the rotation axis , and therefore estimate the gradient of @xmath194 by dividing @xmath194 by @xmath35 . using equation ( [ dotj1 ] )
, the angular momentum loss can now be written @xmath195 next we have to relate the luminosity @xmath22 to @xmath139 . from equation ( [ defl ] ) we have @xmath196 where the brackets denote an average over the star and @xmath197 is the total entropy of the star . from the first law of thermodynamics
we have @xmath198 here @xmath199 is the total internal energy density , and @xmath200 is the specific entropy ( per rest mass ) . for adiabatic changes , @xmath48 is constant and @xmath201 . here , @xmath202 is not constant , however , and we find @xmath203 in a newtonian treatment , integration over the whole star now yields [ tds ] < tds > & = & ( tds ) dm = dk n ^1/n dm & = & d k
dm = u d k. in keeping with our earlier assumption , we take @xmath204 to be constrant throughout the star . to incorporate the post - newtonian correction consistently ,
we simply replace @xmath132 with @xmath205 . inserting this result into ( [ dotkhot0 ] )
then yields @xmath206 equations ( [ dota1 ] ) to ( [ dotomega ] ) together with ( [ dotj3 ] ) and ( [ dotkhot ] ) now approximate the evolution of a cooling , rotating neutron star . at each timestep
, the luminosity @xmath22 can be estimated from ( [ l ] ) . alternatively , we could have derived equation ( [ tds ] ) from observing that , for quasi - static changes of constant rest mass , the mass - energy of an equilibrium configuration changes according to @xmath207 where we have set @xmath64 , and where for completeness we have allowed a vorticity term @xmath208 . here
@xmath209 is the circulation and @xmath210 is the vorticity of the configuration .
following appendix d in lrs , this change can also be written @xmath211 here the @xmath212 are the independent parameters of the configuration , which we can take to be @xmath137 , @xmath213 and @xmath139 .
note that @xmath214 and @xmath215 ( see lrs ) .
furthermore , since we are considering quasi - static changes between equilibrium configurations , first - order variations with respect to the dynamical parameters vanish , so @xmath216 ( see section a.3 ) .
finally , from ( [ energy ] ) , @xmath217 putting terms together , we therefore find @xmath218 comparing this expression with ( [ dm1 ] ) shows that we can identify @xmath219 which agrees with ( [ tds ] ) ( with @xmath132 replaced by @xmath205 ) .
a configuration in equilibrium has @xmath220 , and the equilibrium relations can then be found , for example , by setting the derivatives of the energy functional ( [ energy ] ) with respect to the central density @xmath137 and the eccentricity @xmath213 to zero : @xmath221 the first condition yields the virial relation @xmath222 since only @xmath133 and @xmath223 depend on the eccentricity @xmath213 , the second condition yields in this approximation the same result as a purely newtonian treatment ( see equation ( 3.21 ) in lrs ) @xmath224 note that @xmath118 only depends on the eccentricity , and is independent of , for example , the mass or the polytropic index @xmath47 . for a given central density @xmath137 , eccentricity @xmath213 and thermal contribution @xmath139
, equilibrium conditions can now be constructed by first finding @xmath118 from equation ( [ cond2 ] ) .
this value can then be inserted into ( [ cond1 ] ) to eliminate @xmath223 : @xmath225 writing the individual energies in terms of the rest mass @xmath5 and the central density @xmath137 , we obtain a quadratic equation for @xmath226 @xmath227 or @xmath228 where @xmath229 c & = & \displaystyle \frac{1}{n } k_1 k \rho_c^{1/n - 1 } \nonumber.\end{aligned}\ ] ] in ( [ m_0 ] ) , the smallest positive solution is the physically relevant solution . in the newtonian limit , @xmath230 , and @xmath5
is given by @xmath231 ( see equation ( 3.22 ) in lrs ) .
once @xmath5 has been determined as a function of @xmath137 , @xmath213 and @xmath139 , the individual energy terms as well as the total energy can be calculated .
oohara , k .-
i . , & nakamura , t. , 1995 , lecture delivered at les houches school `` astrophysical sources of gravitational radiation '' ( les houches , france , 1995 ) , to be published in the proceedings ( eds . j .- a .
marck & j .- p . | arxiv |
in spite of great advances in the management of heart failure ( hf ) , the prognosis of hf patients remains poor .
the reasons for poor prognosis are not clear , but most hf patients have 1 or more disorders in addition to hf , such as chronic kidney disease , hypertension , chronic lung disease , and anemia , which possibly makes hf refractory to treatment .
a large proportion of patients with acute decompensated hf ( adhf ) have various degrees of heart and renal dysfunction concomitantly .
earlier crosssectional studies have demonstrated that baseline renal function , as reflected by the estimated glomerular filtration rate ( egfr ) , is a strong prognostic predictor in hf .
however , during the management of adhf , renal function often deteriorates . reduced renal perfusion due to low cardiac output often leads to prerenal failure and the use of angiotensinconverting enzyme inhibitors or angiotensin receptor blockers that can worsen renal function ; also , hypovolemia secondary to loop diuretics usually elevate serum creatinine ( scr ) level .
therefore , in addition to baseline renal function , worsening of renal function ( wrf ) has gained attention in recent years .
some previous studies have reported that wrf during the first hospitalization for adhf is a strong and independent predictor of adverse outcomes .
therefore , how wrf during longterm followup influences the prognosis of patients with adhf remains unclear . in this context
, the aim of the present study is to determine the clinical impact of wrf during the year after discharge ( 1ywrf ) on prognosis in adhf patients in the nara registry and analyses for heart failure 2 ( the narahf study 2 ) cohort study .
the narahf study 2 recruited 611 consecutive patients emergently admitted to our department or the coronary care unit at our hospital with documented adhf ( either acute newonset or acuteonchronic hf ) between january 2007 and december 2012 .
patients with both reduced and preserved left ventricular ejection fraction ( lvef ) were included , but patients with acute myocardial infarction , acute myocarditis , and acute hf with acute pulmonary embolism were excluded .
the study protocol was approved by the ethics committee in nara medical university , and written informed consent was obtained from all patients according to the declaration of helsinki ethical principles for medical research involving human subjects . of the 611 patients ,
378 patients were excluded because 116 patients died within 1 year after discharge , 56 patients were treated with dialysis , 4 patients were prescribed vasopressin type 2 receptor antagonists , 186 patients did not have available scr values at 1 year after discharge , and 16 patients were lost to followup . consequently , we included 233 patients in whom scr levels were measured 3 times : on admission , at discharge , and at 1 year after discharge .
for each patient , baseline data included age , sex , body mass index , hf etiology , medical history , vital signs , laboratory and echocardiographic data , and medications on admission and at discharge . for loop diuretics other than furosemide
, we converted the dose to furosemide equivalent doses : 4 mg of torasemide and 30 mg of azosemide were considered equivalent to 20 mg of furosemide , respectively .
we measured scr on admission , at discharge , and at 1 year after discharge .
wrf was defined , according to previously published studies , as an absolute increase in scr > 0.3 mg / dl ( > 26.5 mol / l ) in combination with a 25% increase in scr .
we evaluated the occurrence of 1ywrf at the time point from discharge to 1 year of followup .
patients were divided into the 1ywrf group ( n=48 ) and the nonwrf group ( n=185 ) according to the presence or absence of 1ywrf .
cardiovascular death was defined as death due to hf , acute myocardial infarction , sudden death , stroke , or vascular diseases such as aortic dissection .
when this information was unavailable , we telephoned patients or their families . information regarding cardiovascular events such as nonfatal acute myocardial infarction , nonfatal stroke , and unexpected rehospitalization due to recurrence of adhf was also obtained .
continuous variables were expressed as means sd , and betweengroup differences were compared using student t test .
multivariable cox proportional hazards models performed using forced inclusion models incorporated the 8 prognostic factors that were identified during past studies in hf patients : age , sex , body mass index , hemoglobin , egfr , btype natriuretic peptide ( bnp ) , lvef , and systolic blood pressure .
we constructed 6 models adjusting for covariates : model 1 , unadjusted ; model 2 , adjusted for age , sex , and body mass index ; model 3 , adjusted for all factors in model 2 , plus hemoglobin , egfr , and bnp ; model 4 , adjusted for all factors in model 3 , plus lvef and systolic blood pressure ; model 5 , adjusted for the same factors as model 4 except replacing egfr at 1 year after discharge from egfr at discharge ; model 6 , adjusted for the same factors as model 4 except replacing egfr between hospital discharge and 1 year after discharge from egfr at discharge .
egfr was calculated using the japanese equations that take into account age , sex , and scr .
results were reported as hazard ratio ( hr ) , 95% confidence interval ( ci ) , and p values .
hr for outcomes in the wrf group were compared with those in the nonwrf group .
a p value < 0.05 was used as the criterion for variables to stay in the model .
jmp version 10 for windows ( sas institute inc , cary , nc ) was used for all statistical analyses .
the narahf study 2 recruited 611 consecutive patients emergently admitted to our department or the coronary care unit at our hospital with documented adhf ( either acute newonset or acuteonchronic hf ) between january 2007 and december 2012 .
patients with both reduced and preserved left ventricular ejection fraction ( lvef ) were included , but patients with acute myocardial infarction , acute myocarditis , and acute hf with acute pulmonary embolism were excluded .
the study protocol was approved by the ethics committee in nara medical university , and written informed consent was obtained from all patients according to the declaration of helsinki ethical principles for medical research involving human subjects . of the 611 patients ,
378 patients were excluded because 116 patients died within 1 year after discharge , 56 patients were treated with dialysis , 4 patients were prescribed vasopressin type 2 receptor antagonists , 186 patients did not have available scr values at 1 year after discharge , and 16 patients were lost to followup . consequently , we included 233 patients in whom scr levels were measured 3 times : on admission , at discharge , and at 1 year after discharge .
for each patient , baseline data included age , sex , body mass index , hf etiology , medical history , vital signs , laboratory and echocardiographic data , and medications on admission and at discharge . for loop diuretics other than furosemide
, we converted the dose to furosemide equivalent doses : 4 mg of torasemide and 30 mg of azosemide were considered equivalent to 20 mg of furosemide , respectively .
we measured scr on admission , at discharge , and at 1 year after discharge .
wrf was defined , according to previously published studies , as an absolute increase in scr > 0.3 mg / dl ( > 26.5 mol / l ) in combination with a 25% increase in scr .
we evaluated the occurrence of 1ywrf at the time point from discharge to 1 year of followup .
patients were divided into the 1ywrf group ( n=48 ) and the nonwrf group ( n=185 ) according to the presence or absence of 1ywrf .
cardiovascular death was defined as death due to hf , acute myocardial infarction , sudden death , stroke , or vascular diseases such as aortic dissection .
when this information was unavailable , we telephoned patients or their families . information regarding cardiovascular events such as nonfatal acute myocardial infarction , nonfatal stroke , and unexpected rehospitalization due to recurrence of adhf was also obtained .
continuous variables were expressed as means sd , and betweengroup differences were compared using student t test .
multivariable cox proportional hazards models performed using forced inclusion models incorporated the 8 prognostic factors that were identified during past studies in hf patients : age , sex , body mass index , hemoglobin , egfr , btype natriuretic peptide ( bnp ) , lvef , and systolic blood pressure .
we constructed 6 models adjusting for covariates : model 1 , unadjusted ; model 2 , adjusted for age , sex , and body mass index ; model 3 , adjusted for all factors in model 2 , plus hemoglobin , egfr , and bnp ; model 4 , adjusted for all factors in model 3 , plus lvef and systolic blood pressure ; model 5 , adjusted for the same factors as model 4 except replacing egfr at 1 year after discharge from egfr at discharge ; model 6 , adjusted for the same factors as model 4 except replacing egfr between hospital discharge and 1 year after discharge from egfr at discharge .
egfr was calculated using the japanese equations that take into account age , sex , and scr .
results were reported as hazard ratio ( hr ) , 95% confidence interval ( ci ) , and p values .
hr for outcomes in the wrf group were compared with those in the nonwrf group .
a p value < 0.05 was used as the criterion for variables to stay in the model .
jmp version 10 for windows ( sas institute inc , cary , nc ) was used for all statistical analyses .
as shown in table 1 , the mean age was 72.211.6 ( meansd ) years , and 43.3% of the patients were women . based on the aforementioned definition , 1ywrf occurred in 48 patients ( 20.6% ) . to investigate the impact of 1ywrf on adhf prognosis , we divided patients into 2 groups according to the presence or absence of 1ywrf .
age , body mass index , and the sex distribution were similar in both groups .
there were no significant differences in the etiology of hf or the proportion of comorbidities between the 2 groups .
moreover , new york heart association functional class , vital signs on admission , lvef , and left ventricular enddiastolic diameter were also similar .
scr on admission was equal between the 1ywrf group and the nonwrf group ( 1.27 and 1.13 mg / dl , respectively , p=0.1163 ) .
however , at discharge , the 1ywrf group had significantly lower hemoglobin and higher bnp compared to the nonwrf group .
baseline characteristics of hf patients with and without 1ywrf data are shown as percentages , meanssd .
bmi indicates body mass index ; bnp , btype natriuretic peptide ; cabg , coronary artery bypass grafting ; ckd , chronic kidney disease ; crt , cardiac resynchronization therapy ; ef , ejection fraction ; egfr , estimated glomerular filtration rate ; hf , heart failure ; icd , implantable cardioverter defibrillator ; lvedd , left ventricular enddiastolic diameter ; lvef , left ventricular ejection fraction ; nyha , new york heart association ; pci , percutaneous coronary intervention ; 1ywrf , worsening of renal function during the year after discharge .
table 2 compares the medications on admission and at discharge of the patients in the 2 groups .
the proportion of patients treated with angiotensinconverting enzyme inhibitors or angiotensin receptor blockers , blockers , loop diuretics , mineralocorticoid receptor blockers , and calcium channel blockers were similar in the 2 groups , both on admission and at discharge .
there were no significant differences in the furosemide equivalent dose at all time points ( on admission , at discharge , and at 1 year after discharge ) between the 1ywrf and nonwrf groups . however , dose increases for loop diuretics between hospital discharge and 1 year afterwards were significantly larger in the 1ywrf group than in the nonwrf group .
medications on admission and at discharge , and loop diuretic dose dose increased refers to an increase between discharge and 1 y afterwards .
ace indicates angiotensinconverting enzyme ; arb , angiotensin receptor blocker ; ca , calcium ; mr , mineralocorticoid receptor ; 1ywrf , worsening of renal function during the year after discharge . during the mean followup period of 35.4 months , 66 ( 28.3% )
meier survival curves , the 1ywrf group had a much higher rate of allcause death ( logrank p<0.0001 ) and cardiovascular death ( logrank p<0.0001 ) ( figure 1 ) .
table 3 shows the unadjusted and adjusted hrs for outcomes in the 2 groups : 1ywrf predicted allcause and cardiovascular mortality ( hr , 3.136 ; 95% ci , 1.8935.127 ; p<0.0001 and hr , 4.571 ; 95% ci , 2.3888.783 ; p<0.0001 , respectively ) . even after adjusting for age , sex , and cardiovascular risk factors such as plasma bnp levels , lvef , etc .
, associations between 1ywrf and allcause and cardiovascular mortality remained significant ( table 3 ) . moreover , in the models including the absolute value of egfr at 1 year after discharge ( table 3 , model 5 ) and the egfr between hospital discharge and 1 year after discharge ( table 3 , model 6 ) , 1ywrf remained a strong independent predictor of allcause and cardiovascular mortality .
hr and 95% ci for allcause and cardiovascular death according to 1ywrf status hemoglobin , plasma bnp and sbp values were at the time of discharge .
egfr values are at the time of discharge in models 3 and 4 and at 1 year after discharge in model 5 .
egfr is the change in egfr between hospital discharge and 1 year after discharge in model 6 .
bnp indicates btype natriuretic peptide ; egfr , estimated glomerular filtration rate ; hr , hazard ratio ; lvef , left ventricular ejection fraction ; sbp , systolic blood pressure ; 1ywrf , worsening of renal function during the year after discharge .
meier eventfree survival curves for ( a ) allcause death and ( b ) cardiovascular death in patients with nonwrf ( dotted line ; n=185 ) compared with patients with 1ywrf ( solid line ; n=48 ) .
hemoglobin and bnp at discharge , as well as lvef < 50% , were independent risk factors for 1ywrf , but not age and egfr at discharge .
predictors of 1ywrf in the multivariate analysis hemoglobin , plasma bnp , and egfr values are at the time of discharge .
increase in loop diuretic dose refers to the increase in dose from the time of discharge to 1 year after discharge .
bnp indicates btype natriuretic peptide ; egfr , estimated glomerular filtration rate ; lvef , left ventricular ejection fraction ; 1ywrf , worsening of renal function during the year after discharge .
as shown in table 1 , the mean age was 72.211.6 ( meansd ) years , and 43.3% of the patients were women . based on the aforementioned definition , 1ywrf occurred in 48 patients ( 20.6% ) . to investigate the impact of 1ywrf on adhf prognosis , we divided patients into 2 groups according to the presence or absence of 1ywrf .
age , body mass index , and the sex distribution were similar in both groups .
there were no significant differences in the etiology of hf or the proportion of comorbidities between the 2 groups .
moreover , new york heart association functional class , vital signs on admission , lvef , and left ventricular enddiastolic diameter were also similar .
scr on admission was equal between the 1ywrf group and the nonwrf group ( 1.27 and 1.13 mg / dl , respectively , p=0.1163 ) .
however , at discharge , the 1ywrf group had significantly lower hemoglobin and higher bnp compared to the nonwrf group .
baseline characteristics of hf patients with and without 1ywrf data are shown as percentages , meanssd .
bmi indicates body mass index ; bnp , btype natriuretic peptide ; cabg , coronary artery bypass grafting ; ckd , chronic kidney disease ; crt , cardiac resynchronization therapy ; ef , ejection fraction ; egfr , estimated glomerular filtration rate ; hf , heart failure ; icd , implantable cardioverter defibrillator ; lvedd , left ventricular enddiastolic diameter ; lvef , left ventricular ejection fraction ; nyha , new york heart association ; pci , percutaneous coronary intervention ; 1ywrf , worsening of renal function during the year after discharge .
table 2 compares the medications on admission and at discharge of the patients in the 2 groups .
the proportion of patients treated with angiotensinconverting enzyme inhibitors or angiotensin receptor blockers , blockers , loop diuretics , mineralocorticoid receptor blockers , and calcium channel blockers were similar in the 2 groups , both on admission and at discharge .
there were no significant differences in the furosemide equivalent dose at all time points ( on admission , at discharge , and at 1 year after discharge ) between the 1ywrf and nonwrf groups . however , dose increases for loop diuretics between hospital discharge and 1 year afterwards were significantly larger in the 1ywrf group than in the nonwrf group .
medications on admission and at discharge , and loop diuretic dose dose increased refers to an increase between discharge and 1 y afterwards .
ace indicates angiotensinconverting enzyme ; arb , angiotensin receptor blocker ; ca , calcium ; mr , mineralocorticoid receptor ; 1ywrf , worsening of renal function during the year after discharge .
during the mean followup period of 35.4 months , 66 ( 28.3% ) patients died ; 38 ( 16.3% ) were from cardiovascular causes .
meier survival curves , the 1ywrf group had a much higher rate of allcause death ( logrank p<0.0001 ) and cardiovascular death ( logrank p<0.0001 ) ( figure 1 ) .
table 3 shows the unadjusted and adjusted hrs for outcomes in the 2 groups : 1ywrf predicted allcause and cardiovascular mortality ( hr , 3.136 ; 95% ci , 1.8935.127 ; p<0.0001 and hr , 4.571 ; 95% ci , 2.3888.783 ; p<0.0001 , respectively ) . even after adjusting for age , sex , and cardiovascular risk factors such as plasma bnp levels , lvef , etc .
, associations between 1ywrf and allcause and cardiovascular mortality remained significant ( table 3 ) . moreover , in the models including the absolute value of egfr at 1 year after discharge ( table 3 , model 5 ) and the egfr between hospital discharge and 1 year after discharge ( table 3 , model 6 ) , 1ywrf remained a strong independent predictor of allcause and cardiovascular mortality .
hr and 95% ci for allcause and cardiovascular death according to 1ywrf status hemoglobin , plasma bnp and sbp values were at the time of discharge .
egfr values are at the time of discharge in models 3 and 4 and at 1 year after discharge in model 5 .
egfr is the change in egfr between hospital discharge and 1 year after discharge in model 6 .
bnp indicates btype natriuretic peptide ; egfr , estimated glomerular filtration rate ; hr , hazard ratio ; lvef , left ventricular ejection fraction ; sbp , systolic blood pressure ; 1ywrf , worsening of renal function during the year after discharge .
meier eventfree survival curves for ( a ) allcause death and ( b ) cardiovascular death in patients with nonwrf ( dotted line ; n=185 ) compared with patients with 1ywrf ( solid line ; n=48 ) .
hemoglobin and bnp at discharge , as well as lvef < 50% , were independent risk factors for 1ywrf , but not age and egfr at discharge .
predictors of 1ywrf in the multivariate analysis hemoglobin , plasma bnp , and egfr values are at the time of discharge .
increase in loop diuretic dose refers to the increase in dose from the time of discharge to 1 year after discharge .
bnp indicates btype natriuretic peptide ; egfr , estimated glomerular filtration rate ; lvef , left ventricular ejection fraction ; 1ywrf , worsening of renal function during the year after discharge .
the present study demonstrates that 1ywrf is a strong and independent risk factor for allcause mortality and cardiovascular events in patients with adhf . during the past decade , many studies reported a significant association between renal impairment and prognosis in hf .
many of these studies defined renal impairment as baseline scr or wrf during hospitalization . in the present study , we evaluated longitudinal changes in renal function over the year after hospital discharge as a prognostic factor in adhf .
a large proportion of patients with adhf have chronic kidney disease , which can exacerbate adhf , and vice versa .
more than half of the patients with adhf in our study had egfr < 60 ml / min per 1.73 m at admission , and 20% of the patients who were alive for > 1 year after discharge had wrf , defined as an absolute increase in scr > 0.3 mg / dl ( > 26.5
mol / l ) in combination with a 25% increase in scr at 1 year after discharge .
these figures are comparable to or slightly higher than those in previous studies , which were conducted in europe and recruited patients with systolic heart failure .
many crosssectional studies have demonstrated that impaired renal function is an independent risk factor for poor outcomes in hf . in our study
, however , the close association between 1ywrf and allcause mortality or cardiovascular events remained after adjustment for several factors including the absolute value of egfr at 1 year after discharge .
these observations provide clinically relevant information to physicians , namely , the importance of maintaining renal function when treating patients with hf .
this concept is currently accepted as the cardiorenal connection , the mechanism of which may involve a complex interplay between hf and renal dysfunction through hemodynamic , pathological , and humoral dysregulation .
although inhospital wrf was observed in 20% of the study patients , it was not significantly associated with allcause mortality or cardiovascular events ( logrank p=0.7636 and logrank p=0.5908 , respectively ) ( figure 2 ) . in prior studies , inhospital wrf
. however , some recent reports showed it was not , which is consistent with our results . in our study , only 2 patients had both inhospital and 1ywrf ; in other words , most of patients with inhospital wrf had preserved renal function at 1 year after discharge .
meier eventfree survival curves for ( a ) allcause death and ( b ) cardiovascular death in patients with nonwrf ( dotted line ;
the mechanisms for 1ywrf and inhospital wrf may differ , but this was not discernable from a clinical cohort study .
the proportion of patients with hypertension and diabetes mellitus , as well as previous myocardial infarction , which are risk factors for wrf in outpatients , was similar in the 1ywrf and nonwrf groups .
however , the plasma bnp level was significantly higher in the 1ywrf group than in the nonwrf group , and multiple logistic regression showed that plasma bnp level , lvef < 50% , and anemia were significant risk factors for 1ywrf ( tables 1 , 2 , and 4 ) .
thus , it is plausible that more advanced hf is more likely to be accompanied by wrf .
alternatively , the high levels of plasma bnp in the wrf group might be associated with continuing high venous pressure and negative effects on the kidney due to congestion . in our study , the furosemide equivalent dose of loop diuretics at discharge was similar in the 1ywrf and nonwrf groups , but at 1 year , the 1ywrf group had a nonsignificantly higher dose compared to the nonwrf group . as earlier reports reported that wrf has been attributed to hypoperfusion of the kidney due to intravascular volume depletion secondary to overdose of diuretics , patients with hf should be treated with the lowest effective dose of loop diuretics , to avoid wrf . in our institution , physicians would take bnp levels into account to prevent overuse of loop diuretics .
since the definition of wrf is not uniform , there are many ways to assess changes in wrf .
we chose a strict definition , an absolute scr increase > 0.3 mg / dl ( > 26.5 mol / l ) in combination with a 25% increase in scr , which has been used by previous studies .
some investigators have used an absolute scr increase > 0.3 mg / dl from baseline .
therefore , we examined other definitions of 1ywrf , such as an absolute scr increase > 0.3 mg / dl between discharge and followup at 1 year ( 53 patients with 1ywrf ) . using this definition , the kaplan
meier survival analysis showed that the 1ywrf group had a much higher rate of allcause death ( logrank p<0.0001 ) and cardiovascular death ( logrank p<0.0001 ) ( data not shown ) .
the major limitation is that the sample size was moderate , the study was retrospective in nature , and that it was based at a single center .
we did not collect data on variables that can potentially influence adhf prognosis such as respiratory function and qrs complex widening on admission .
we could not compare the influence of thiazides between the 2 groups because there are no official doseconversion formulas for converting between loop diuretics and thiazides .
the major limitation is that the sample size was moderate , the study was retrospective in nature , and that it was based at a single center .
we did not collect data on variables that can potentially influence adhf prognosis such as respiratory function and qrs complex widening on admission .
we could not compare the influence of thiazides between the 2 groups because there are no official doseconversion formulas for converting between loop diuretics and thiazides .
wrf at 1 year after hospital discharge for adhf is a strong predictor of allcause and cardiovascular death . | pubmed |
How can a current carrying wire be electrically neutral if the wire at rest is already electrically neutral? (relativistically speaking)
I am stationary with respect to a conducting wire
This conducting wire is electrically neutral (From observation)
Current is now made to move within this wire.
The motion of charges will be seen as length contracted(from my stationary reference frame) and therefore the density of negative charges must increase giving the wire a net charge.
But the current carrying wire is found to be electrically neutral (From observation).
How does this happen? I have seen the videos from Veritasium and the Science asylum as well as many threads here that fail to explain this(adequately)? How can the wire be neutral in both scenarios?
>
> How can the wire be neutral in both scenarios?
>
>
>
This question usually comes up in the context of relativity. It stems from an interesting but confusing explanation pioneered by Purcell:
<http://physics.weber.edu/schroeder/mrr/MRR.html>
However, despite the relativistic context this specific question is actually not related to relativity at all. Both the charge on and the current through a wire is under experimental control.
A wire has self capacitance and resistance. By raising the voltage on both ends of the wire we can take advantage of the self capacitance to control the net charge on the wire. By increasing the voltage difference across the wire we can take advantage of the resistance to control the current through the wire.
So the experimenter can make the wire have no charge and no current, or charge but no current, or current but no charge, or both current and charge. Relativity is not relevant to that at all. Relativity only comes in once you have fully specified the settings chosen by the experimenter in the lab frame and want to determine what the scenario looks like in another frame. So the lab values are arbitrary “given” quantities that are then used as inputs for the relativistic calculations.
Suppose your wire is a straight one between the terminals of a battery. Electrons enter the wire at one end and leave at another. Let's assume the electrons are point particles and that wire is very narrow and that the current is such that one electron follows the next down the wire. Because the electrons are moving relative to you, the gap between them, as measured in their frame, is longer than the gap between them as measured in your frame.
This is just the 'pole in a barn paradox' in another guise. Simultaneity in the frame of the electrons will be different to simultaneity in yours, so what will happen is that in your frame extra electrons will seem to have entered the wire before all the others have left it, thus preserving the neutrality of the wire.
Step one is simplify. So we have a 1 dimensional lattice of equally spaced ($s$)positive and negative charges, labeled by position $n$:
...0...1...2...3...4...5
The position of the n-th positive ion vs. time is:
$$ x^+\_n(t) = ns $$
The electrons all start moving simultaneously (in the lattice frame), and have positions:
$$ x^-\_n(t) = ns + vt $$
The difference in position gives the linear charge densities:
$$ \Delta^+(t) = x^+\_{n+1}(t) - x^+\_n(t) = s $$
$$ \Delta^-(t) = x^-\_{n+1}(t) - x^-\_n(t) = \Delta^+(t) + (vt-vt)=s $$
So they are equal, and the wire is neutral.
Boosting to the moving frame ($v$) with the electrons:
$$ x'^+\_n(t) = \gamma (ns -vt) $$
$$ x'^-\_n(t) = \gamma (ns +vt -vt) = \gamma ns$$
Now get the right time coordinate:
$$ t = \gamma(t' + vx'/c^2) $$
so
$$ x'^-\_n(t) = \gamma ns $$
$$ x'^+\_n(t) = \gamma (ns -v\gamma(t' + vx'/c^2)) =\frac{ns}{\gamma}-vt'
$$
are the world lines in the electron frame.
The electrons are stationary (and further apart, which is shown in the Science Asylum video at 6:03), while the protons move to the left, and are contracted.
Here is a plot of 5 ions and 5 electrons moving to the right at $\gamma=2$:
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/vJLbl.png)
Note that in the lab frame the densities are:
$$\rho\_{\pm} = \pm 1$$
The magenta line is $t'=0$, aka the $x'$ axis, with uniform symbols at integer values of $x'$. It is easy to see that:
$$ \rho\_{\pm} = \gamma^{\pm 1} = 2^{\pm 1} $$
Now I can boost that plot to the electron frame (so the magenta line becomes the abscissa):
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/st5vU.png)
That explicitly shows the electron density is reduced by $\gamma$, and the ion lattice contracted by $\gamma$.
| stackexchange/physics |
ischemic stroke ( is ) is a frequent pathology whose incidence sharply increases with age , 0.1/1,000 inhabitants per year below the age of 45 and up to 10/1,000 over 75 years of age in france .
it is the third cause of death and is responsible for 50% of disabling conditions in survivors in industrialized countries .
we suggested that a significant proportion of these unexplained strokes or transient ischemic attacks ( tia ) could be due to undiagnosed atrial fibrillation ( af ) .
af is a common cause of embolism , but it can be difficult to identify due to asymptomatic or paroxysmal episodes [ 4 , 5 ] .
some authors have advocated studying the atrial vulnerability ( av ) to arrhythmias to explain the mechanism of cryptogenic is [ 6 , 7 ] . in the presence of a low atrial vulnerability index or induction of af , oral anticoagulation and antiarrhythmic therapy were recommended by these same authors , but the predictive value of this electrophysiological method for spontaneous af remains controversial [ 8 , 9 ] .
we therefore aimed to document spontaneous af in a population of patients with unexplained is / tia , using invasive continuous cardiac monitoring by means of an implantable loop recorder ( ilr ) .
this device , widely used for diagnosis of unexplained syncope , has proven effective in detecting paroxysmal arrhythmias [ 11 , 12 ] .
we also wanted to correlate the results of continuous electrocardiogram monitoring with those of av electrophysiological studies in order to test the value of this method for predicting spontaneous af .
this is a prospective multicenter study whose aim was to determine the prevalence of af in patients under 75 years of age with a history of is or tia of undetermined cause after complete evaluation .
the enrollment took place in the cardiology or neurology units of four hospitals in france .
patients were to be between 18 and 75 years old , have a history of cerebral ischemia within 4 months before inclusion , and have recovered neurological status allowing good autonomy ( rankin score between 0 and 2 at inclusion ) .
the neurological features of each patient were reviewed by the referent neurologist of the study , who validated the diagnosis of is / tia from anamnesis , clinical presentation , and the results of brain imaging .
all patients underwent at least cerebral ct or mri , or both , depending on the equipment of the recruiting centre .
undetermined origin was ascertained by negative evaluation requiring ancillary tests performed in all patients to exclude the following conditions :
ipsilateral carotid atherosclerotic stenosis > 70% , vertebral or carotid dissection with cervical doppler - echography or angio-mr.documented atrial fibrillation , with a 12-lead electrocardiogram and 24-h holter monitoring.intracardiac thrombus or any other cause of cardiac embolism , with transthoracic ( n = 24/24 ) and transesophageal echocardiography ( n = 22/24).vascular malformation , by means of cerebral ct , mri or angio - mri if necessary.hypercoagulable states , hematological disorders , and inflammatory diseases , with biological tests carried out at least 2 months after stroke : prothrombin ratio , activated partial thromboplastin time , c and s proteins , antithrombin , mutation in factor v leiden gene , circulating anticoagulants , antiphospholipid and anti - 2gp1 antibodies , homocysteinemia , erythrocyte sedimentation rate , and c - reactive protein .
ipsilateral carotid atherosclerotic stenosis > 70% , vertebral or carotid dissection with cervical doppler - echography or angio - mr .
intracardiac thrombus or any other cause of cardiac embolism , with transthoracic ( n = 24/24 ) and transesophageal echocardiography ( n = 22/24 ) .
vascular malformation , by means of cerebral ct , mri or angio - mri if necessary .
hypercoagulable states , hematological disorders , and inflammatory diseases , with biological tests carried out at least 2 months after stroke : prothrombin ratio , activated partial thromboplastin time , c and s proteins , antithrombin , mutation in factor v leiden gene , circulating anticoagulants , antiphospholipid and anti - 2gp1 antibodies , homocysteinemia , erythrocyte sedimentation rate , and c - reactive protein . a history of documented cardiac arrhythmias and ineffectively controlled pre - stroke hypertension ( defined by systolic blood pressure > 140 mmhg or diastolic > 90 mmhg ) were also exclusion criteria .
the study protocol resulted from a regional 2003 hospital program of clinical research promoted by the university hospital of tours and received approval from the institutional ethics committee ( ccpprb of tours ) on june 29 , 2004 .
the electrophysiological study was performed using low - molecular - weight heparin for effective anticoagulation . two quadripolar electrode catheters ( 10-mm interelectrode distance , usci , bard )
were placed in the right cardiac cavities via catheterization of the right femoral vein under local anesthesia .
one quadripolar electrode was positioned in the high right atrium ( hra ) in the sinus node area ; the other one was placed in the low right atrium ( lra ) near the atrioventricular node .
pacing was performed with a programmable stimulator ( biotronik uhs , germany ) which delivered rectangular pulses of 2-ms duration at twice the diastolic threshold .
the study was carried out in three stages :
measurement of basic conduction intervals and determination of the wenckebach point of the atrioventricular node.determination of the right atrium refractory periods ( rp ) and the duration of the atrial electrogram .
rps were determined by means of an extrastimulus ( s2 ) delivered at three different constant pacing rates 100 , 120 , 150 bpm .
effective rp was defined as the longest attainable s1s2 interval that did not produce an atrial electrogram .
finally , we measured the duration of the atrial electrogram ( a2 ) following s2 at a pacing rate of 100 bpm . latent vulnerability index ( lvi ) was defined as the ratio between high right atrium effective refractory period ( erp ) and a2 duration at a pacing rate of 100 bpm [ 7 , 14].assessment of the inducibility of atrial arrhythmia was performed by programmed atrial stimulation with up to three extrastimuli ( s2 , s3 , s4 ) at constant pacing rates of 100 , 120 , and 150 bpm at two different stimulation sites : hra and lra .
measurement of basic conduction intervals and determination of the wenckebach point of the atrioventricular node .
determination of the right atrium refractory periods ( rp ) and the duration of the atrial electrogram .
rps were determined by means of an extrastimulus ( s2 ) delivered at three different constant pacing rates 100 , 120 , 150 bpm .
effective rp was defined as the longest attainable s1s2 interval that did not produce an atrial electrogram .
finally , we measured the duration of the atrial electrogram ( a2 ) following s2 at a pacing rate of 100 bpm . latent vulnerability index ( lvi ) was defined as the ratio between high right atrium effective refractory period ( erp ) and a2 duration at a pacing rate of 100 bpm [ 7 , 14 ] .
assessment of the inducibility of atrial arrhythmia was performed by programmed atrial stimulation with up to three extrastimuli ( s2 , s3 , s4 ) at constant pacing rates of 100 , 120 , and 150 bpm at two different stimulation sites : hra and lra .
latent atrial vulnerability was defined as lvi < 2.5 , and atrial inducibility as induction of sustained atrial arrhythmia lasting > 60 s [ 7 , 14 ] .
minneapolis , usa ) is a small single - use device fitted with two sensing electrodes .
it can record the heartbeat loop for 14 months . when interrogated transcutaneously , it can return recorded rhythmic events .
the ilr was implanted subcutaneously under local anesthesia and antibiotic prophylaxis in the left pectoral region .
the device was programmed similarly for all patients before their discharge :
semi - automatic activation mode.recording of 13 automatic events and 1 event by patient activation .
patients were provided with an activator at the time of device implantation.the criteria for automatic recording were bradycardia < 30 bpm or pause > 3 s , tachycardia > 165 bpm for more than 32 complexes .
the criteria for automatic recording were bradycardia < 30 bpm or pause > 3 s , tachycardia > 165 bpm for more than 32 complexes .
patients were instructed to activate the device in case of palpitations , syncope , or recurrence of is / tia .
all patients received antiplatelet therapy , aspirin 300 mg / day , or clopidogrel 75 mg / day .
patients underwent examination and 12-lead ecg every 4 months , performed by the investigator of the recruiting hospital .
interrogation of the ilr was carried out at each visit and stored for review by the principal investigator .
af was considered to have occurred when normal sinus rhythm was replaced by irregular tachycardia lasting more than 30 s with no visible p wave or with unorganized f wavelets of af . in this case ,
antiarrhythmic therapy was prescribed according to the habitual procedure of each investigator , and antiplatelet therapy was replaced by oral anticoagulation treatment with a target international normalized ratio ( inr ) between two and three . in the event of a serious issue ( recurrence of stroke , syncope , death ) ,
the study ended for a patient when sustained af was documented by the monitor or after the monitoring period of 14 months with the device 's explantation ( end of battery life defined by the manufacturer of the reveal plus ilr 9526 ) .
the enrollment took place in the cardiology or neurology units of four hospitals in france .
patients were to be between 18 and 75 years old , have a history of cerebral ischemia within 4 months before inclusion , and have recovered neurological status allowing good autonomy ( rankin score between 0 and 2 at inclusion ) .
the neurological features of each patient were reviewed by the referent neurologist of the study , who validated the diagnosis of is / tia from anamnesis , clinical presentation , and the results of brain imaging .
all patients underwent at least cerebral ct or mri , or both , depending on the equipment of the recruiting centre .
undetermined origin was ascertained by negative evaluation requiring ancillary tests performed in all patients to exclude the following conditions :
ipsilateral carotid atherosclerotic stenosis > 70% , vertebral or carotid dissection with cervical doppler - echography or angio-mr.documented atrial fibrillation , with a 12-lead electrocardiogram and 24-h holter monitoring.intracardiac thrombus or any other cause of cardiac embolism , with transthoracic ( n = 24/24 ) and transesophageal echocardiography ( n = 22/24).vascular malformation , by means of cerebral ct , mri or angio - mri if necessary.hypercoagulable states , hematological disorders , and inflammatory diseases , with biological tests carried out at least 2 months after stroke : prothrombin ratio , activated partial thromboplastin time , c and s proteins , antithrombin , mutation in factor v leiden gene , circulating anticoagulants , antiphospholipid and anti - 2gp1 antibodies , homocysteinemia , erythrocyte sedimentation rate , and c - reactive protein .
ipsilateral carotid atherosclerotic stenosis > 70% , vertebral or carotid dissection with cervical doppler - echography or angio - mr .
intracardiac thrombus or any other cause of cardiac embolism , with transthoracic ( n = 24/24 ) and transesophageal echocardiography ( n = 22/24 ) .
vascular malformation , by means of cerebral ct , mri or angio - mri if necessary .
hypercoagulable states , hematological disorders , and inflammatory diseases , with biological tests carried out at least 2 months after stroke : prothrombin ratio , activated partial thromboplastin time , c and s proteins , antithrombin , mutation in factor v leiden gene , circulating anticoagulants , antiphospholipid and anti - 2gp1 antibodies , homocysteinemia , erythrocyte sedimentation rate , and c - reactive protein .
a history of documented cardiac arrhythmias and ineffectively controlled pre - stroke hypertension ( defined by systolic blood pressure > 140 mmhg or diastolic > 90 mmhg ) were also exclusion criteria .
the study protocol resulted from a regional 2003 hospital program of clinical research promoted by the university hospital of tours and received approval from the institutional ethics committee ( ccpprb of tours ) on june 29 , 2004 .
the electrophysiological study was performed using low - molecular - weight heparin for effective anticoagulation . two quadripolar electrode catheters ( 10-mm interelectrode distance , usci , bard )
were placed in the right cardiac cavities via catheterization of the right femoral vein under local anesthesia .
one quadripolar electrode was positioned in the high right atrium ( hra ) in the sinus node area ; the other one was placed in the low right atrium ( lra ) near the atrioventricular node .
pacing was performed with a programmable stimulator ( biotronik uhs , germany ) which delivered rectangular pulses of 2-ms duration at twice the diastolic threshold .
the study was carried out in three stages :
measurement of basic conduction intervals and determination of the wenckebach point of the atrioventricular node.determination of the right atrium refractory periods ( rp ) and the duration of the atrial electrogram .
rps were determined by means of an extrastimulus ( s2 ) delivered at three different constant pacing rates 100 , 120 , 150 bpm .
effective rp was defined as the longest attainable s1s2 interval that did not produce an atrial electrogram .
finally , we measured the duration of the atrial electrogram ( a2 ) following s2 at a pacing rate of 100 bpm . latent vulnerability index ( lvi ) was defined as the ratio between high right atrium effective refractory period ( erp ) and a2 duration at a pacing rate of 100 bpm [ 7 , 14].assessment of the inducibility of atrial arrhythmia was performed by programmed atrial stimulation with up to three extrastimuli ( s2 , s3 , s4 ) at constant pacing rates of 100 , 120 , and 150 bpm at two different stimulation sites : hra and lra .
measurement of basic conduction intervals and determination of the wenckebach point of the atrioventricular node .
determination of the right atrium refractory periods ( rp ) and the duration of the atrial electrogram .
rps were determined by means of an extrastimulus ( s2 ) delivered at three different constant pacing rates 100 , 120 , 150 bpm .
effective rp was defined as the longest attainable s1s2 interval that did not produce an atrial electrogram .
finally , we measured the duration of the atrial electrogram ( a2 ) following s2 at a pacing rate of 100 bpm . latent vulnerability index ( lvi ) was defined as the ratio between high right atrium effective refractory period ( erp ) and a2 duration at a pacing rate of 100 bpm [ 7 , 14 ] .
assessment of the inducibility of atrial arrhythmia was performed by programmed atrial stimulation with up to three extrastimuli ( s2 , s3 , s4 ) at constant pacing rates of 100 , 120 , and 150 bpm at two different stimulation sites : hra and lra .
latent atrial vulnerability was defined as lvi < 2.5 , and atrial inducibility as induction of sustained atrial arrhythmia lasting > 60 s [ 7 , 14 ] .
minneapolis , usa ) is a small single - use device fitted with two sensing electrodes .
it can record the heartbeat loop for 14 months . when interrogated transcutaneously , it can return recorded rhythmic events .
the ilr was implanted subcutaneously under local anesthesia and antibiotic prophylaxis in the left pectoral region .
the device was programmed similarly for all patients before their discharge :
semi - automatic activation mode.recording of 13 automatic events and 1 event by patient activation .
patients were provided with an activator at the time of device implantation.the criteria for automatic recording were bradycardia < 30 bpm or pause > 3 s , tachycardia > 165 bpm for more than 32 complexes .
the criteria for automatic recording were bradycardia < 30 bpm or pause > 3 s , tachycardia > 165 bpm for more than 32 complexes .
patients were instructed to activate the device in case of palpitations , syncope , or recurrence of is / tia .
all patients received antiplatelet therapy , aspirin 300 mg / day , or clopidogrel 75 mg / day .
patients underwent examination and 12-lead ecg every 4 months , performed by the investigator of the recruiting hospital .
interrogation of the ilr was carried out at each visit and stored for review by the principal investigator .
af was considered to have occurred when normal sinus rhythm was replaced by irregular tachycardia lasting more than 30 s with no visible p wave or with unorganized f wavelets of af . in this case ,
antiarrhythmic therapy was prescribed according to the habitual procedure of each investigator , and antiplatelet therapy was replaced by oral anticoagulation treatment with a target international normalized ratio ( inr ) between two and three . in the event of a serious issue ( recurrence of stroke , syncope , death ) ,
the study ended for a patient when sustained af was documented by the monitor or after the monitoring period of 14 months with the device 's explantation ( end of battery life defined by the manufacturer of the reveal plus ilr 9526 ) .
twenty - four patients were included , 15 men and 9 women , from 19 to 74 years old , mean age 48.8 13.6 years .
although 50 patients were provided , inclusions were stopped prematurely because of negative results .
table 1characteristics of subjects ( n = 24)male n ( % ) 15 ( 62.5)age ( years )
( mean sd)49 13.6<50 years n ( % ) 14 ( 58.3)diabetes mellitus0hypertension n ( % ) 7 ( 29.2)dyslipidemia n ( % ) 8 ( 33.3)active tobacco use n ( % ) 10 ( 41.7)overweight ( bmi > 27.5 ) n ( % ) 4 ( 16.7)vascular ischemic hereditary n ( % ) 5 ( 20.8 ) characteristics of subjects ( n = 24 ) of the 24 enrolled patients , 3 ( 12.5% ) experienced tia with symptoms lasting less than 1 h ( and normal brain mri ) , and 21 ( 87.5% ) experienced cerebral infarction ; one of them remained with neurological sequelae ( rankin score = 2 ) , symptoms were fully reversible in all the others . the clinical presentation consisted of lateralized motor deficit or aphasia in 75% of the cases , with or without sensory symptoms
all patients underwent at least one brain imaging , cerebral ct ( n = 17 ) or mri ( n = 15 ) or both ( n = 8) , and four patients had an angio - mri performed .
the most common types of infarcts were superficial middle cerebral artery territory infarcts ( 58.3% ) .
one in three patients showed at least two concomitant ischemic locations , lesions were bilateral in 20.8% of cases .
table 2neurological features : topography of cerebral infarcts ( n = 24)topography of infarctsnumberpercentagemiddle cerebral artery ( mca ) territory2083.3 superficial mca1458.3 deep mca312.5 global mca312.5vertebrobasilar territory729.2 posterior cerebral artery territory312.5 cerebellum416.7multiple lesions833.3 bilateral520.8 neurological features : topography of cerebral infarcts ( n = 24 ) the results are shown in table 3 .
we observed 18 patients with supraventricular arrhythmias , 15 af , 1 common flutter , and 2 other atrial tachycardias .
eight of these , termed inducible patients , experienced sustained arrhythmia , lasting more than 60 s. the lvi was calculated whenever possible with the formula described above .
it could not be calculated in four cases because of the impossibility of measuring rp or a2 duration due to early onset of sustained arrhythmia .
latent av was found in nine patients ( 37.5% ) , among whom , three were inducible .
table 3electrophysiological study results ( n = 24 ) mean sdminmaxnumber ( % ) ah interval ( ms)83 22.415125hv interval ( ms)43 9.383065wenckebach point of av node ( bpm)162 35.2110230hra erp ( ms)234 37.1180290a2 duration ( ms)85 26.450140lvi ( n = 20)2.9 1.021.55.6lvi < 2.59 ( 37.5)inducibility of atrial arrhythmia ( including af , flutter , and other atrial tachycardias)18 ( 75.0 ) 030 s8 ( 33.3 ) 3059 s2 ( 8.3 ) 15 min5 ( 20.8 ) > 5 min3 ( 12.5 ) electrophysiological study results ( n = 24 ) the mean time lapse from cerebral accident to initiation of cardiac rhythm monitoring , i.e. , implantation of the ilr , was 3 1.1 months .
there was no recurrence of stroke , no episode of syncope or palpitation was reported , and all electrocardiograms were in sinus rhythm . through ilr interrogation , we found short af episodes < 30 s in one patient ( 4.2% ) , detected by automatic record , with a ventricular rate exceeding 200 bpm .
this patient was not inducible through programmed atrial stimulation despite a positive latent vulnerability ( lvi = 1.5 ) .
no significant af episode or any other sustained arrhythmia was identified , either in inducible patients or in the others .
moreover , no significant sinus pause or sinus bradycardia was observed that could have led to a diagnosis of bradycardia tachycardia syndrome .
of the 24 enrolled patients , 3 ( 12.5% ) experienced tia with symptoms lasting less than 1 h ( and normal brain mri ) , and 21 ( 87.5% ) experienced cerebral infarction ; one of them remained with neurological sequelae ( rankin score = 2 ) , symptoms were fully reversible in all the others .
the clinical presentation consisted of lateralized motor deficit or aphasia in 75% of the cases , with or without sensory symptoms .
all patients underwent at least one brain imaging , cerebral ct ( n = 17 ) or mri ( n = 15 ) or both ( n = 8) , and four patients had an angio - mri performed .
the most common types of infarcts were superficial middle cerebral artery territory infarcts ( 58.3% ) .
one in three patients showed at least two concomitant ischemic locations , lesions were bilateral in 20.8% of cases .
table 2neurological features : topography of cerebral infarcts ( n = 24)topography of infarctsnumberpercentagemiddle cerebral artery ( mca ) territory2083.3 superficial mca1458.3 deep mca312.5 global mca312.5vertebrobasilar territory729.2 posterior cerebral artery territory312.5 cerebellum416.7multiple lesions833.3 bilateral520.8 neurological features : topography of cerebral infarcts ( n = 24 )
we observed 18 patients with supraventricular arrhythmias , 15 af , 1 common flutter , and 2 other atrial tachycardias .
eight of these , termed inducible patients , experienced sustained arrhythmia , lasting more than 60 s. the lvi was calculated whenever possible with the formula described above .
it could not be calculated in four cases because of the impossibility of measuring rp or a2 duration due to early onset of sustained arrhythmia .
latent av was found in nine patients ( 37.5% ) , among whom , three were inducible .
table 3electrophysiological study results ( n = 24 ) mean sdminmaxnumber ( % ) ah interval ( ms)83 22.415125hv interval ( ms)43 9.383065wenckebach point of av node ( bpm)162 35.2110230hra erp ( ms)234 37.1180290a2 duration ( ms)85 26.450140lvi ( n = 20)2.9 1.021.55.6lvi < 2.59 ( 37.5)inducibility of atrial arrhythmia ( including af , flutter , and other atrial tachycardias)18 ( 75.0 ) 030 s8 ( 33.3 ) 3059 s2 ( 8.3 ) 15 min5 ( 20.8 ) > 5 min3 ( 12.5 ) electrophysiological study results ( n = 24 )
the mean time lapse from cerebral accident to initiation of cardiac rhythm monitoring , i.e. , implantation of the ilr , was 3 1.1 months .
there was no recurrence of stroke , no episode of syncope or palpitation was reported , and all electrocardiograms were in sinus rhythm . through ilr interrogation , we found short af episodes < 30 s in one patient ( 4.2% ) , detected by automatic record , with a ventricular rate exceeding 200 bpm .
this patient was not inducible through programmed atrial stimulation despite a positive latent vulnerability ( lvi = 1.5 ) .
no significant af episode or any other sustained arrhythmia was identified , either in inducible patients or in the others . moreover ,
no significant sinus pause or sinus bradycardia was observed that could have led to a diagnosis of bradycardia tachycardia syndrome .
because of the high recurrence rate of ischemic cerebral accidents , secondary prevention after a first - ever event is essential . despite an extensive evaluation ,
no determined etiology is found in one third to half of all cases , especially in young subjects .
it is currently estimated that 30% of is have a cardioembolic substrate , about half of which are due to af .
af is a very common arrhythmia whose prevalence increases with age up to 10% after the age of 75 versus 0.4% in the general population .
arterial embolism is a frequent complication of af , with a risk of 5% to 10% per year , especially in subjects with cardiovascular risk factors ( hypertension , diabetes , heart failure ) [ 17 , 18 ] . identifying a potential cardiac source of embolism
is of critical importance in the etiological workup of is because of therapeutic and prognostic implications .
epidemiological studies have shown a poorer prognosis for is / tia of cardioembolic origin than from other causes , especially those due to af [ 3 , 19 , 20 ] .
if af is identified as the cause of a first - ever cerebral infarction , anticoagulation therapy significantly reduces the recurrence rate as compared with antiplatelet therapy and dramatically improves these patients ' prognosis [ 17 , 2123 ] .
the yield is low for 12-lead ecgs , as well as for 24- to 72-h holter monitoring ( 2% to 5% ) [ 24 , 25 ] .
preliminary studies suggested that extending the duration of heart rate monitoring would increase the probability of detecting paroxysmal af [ 2527 ] .
the ilr offers the benefit of continuously monitoring cardiac rhythm over several months . in our study
, cerebral ischemic accidents were suspected to be of cardioembolic mechanism , as evidenced by the frequency of multiple , especially bilateral lesions .
nevertheless , among the 24 enrolled patients , af was detected as a potential cause of stroke in only one patient .
is / tia , the authors found a higher detection rate of af using 21-day monitoring with mobile cardiac outpatient telemetry , 5.3% of af > 30 s and 23% of short episodes
< 30 s. we can assume that the difference is due to patient selection and time of initiation of the monitoring .
in the tayal study , the patients were at higher risk of af because they were older ( mean age 66 11 versus 49 13 years in our study ) , and the prevalence of diabetes was high .
age and diabetes mellitus are well - known risk factors for af [ 16 , 29 ] .
it is to be noticed that diabetics were absent from our population . in the tayal study , rhythm monitoring after index event
was initiated earlier than in ours ( mean 20 days versus 3 months ) . in their work ,
the majority of af were diagnosed within the first days of monitoring ( mean 7 days , range 219 ) .
however , early transient af has been reported after acute stroke only as a consequence of the stroke , which led us purposely to choose to delay the initiation of monitoring in order to avoid confusion as to the responsibility of the stroke for the onset of paroxysmal arrhythmia .
the aim of the av study was to identify subjects with a high risk of atrial arrhythmia .
it has been shown that patients with documented af more often have a low lvi and are more easily inducible than patients without af [ 8 , 15 ] .
some authors have described similar electrophysiological abnormalities in patients with paroxysmal af and in patients with unexplained ischemic stroke [ 8 , 31 ] .
however , the correlation between the presence of an arrhythmogenic substrate and the occurrence of spontaneous af has not been proven . in previous series , the percentage of inducible sustained af in patients with cryptogenic is was 50% to 65% [ 6 , 8 ] .
we also found a high rate of inducible sustained atrial arrhythmias ( 33.3% ) and a high rate of latent av ( 37.5% ) , whereas no spontaneous sustained asymptomatic af or af with fast ventricular response was documented over a period of 14 months .
moreover , the only patient who experienced short episodes of spontaneous af was not inducible by programmed atrial stimulation .
for the first time , continuous monitoring in a prospective study has made it possible to confirm the irrelevance of electrophysiological study in the etiological workup of is / tia , because neither low lvi nor atrial arrhythmia inducibility was predictive of spontaneous af .
firstly , the duration of the study was shortened by the device 's limited battery life .
rhythm monitoring was thus limited to 14 months , which is brief compared to the period of stroke recurrences .
as epidemiological data in the literature reveal that the risk of recurrent stroke is high in the early phase after a first - ever event and remains high for several years thereafter [ 19 , 32 , 33 ] , there is little prospect that the new generation of ilr with a prolonged battery life ( more than 36 months ) would be more informative .
the algorithm required 32 consecutive beats at 165 bpm to recognize a rhythm disturbance as an af episode .
it was consequently programmed to record af with rapid ventricular response , making it likely that a number of non - rapid episodes may have been missed .
regarding self - activation , previous studies have showed the inability of some patients to operate loop recorders properly .
this was not a problem in our study because no triggering symptom was experienced resulting from patients ' failure to activate . in the future
, the ilr will be designed to record atrial activity more accurately in order to diagnose af with lower ventricular response .
the latest model of ilr ( reveal xt , medtronic inc . , minneapolis , usa ) seems to meet this objective , but the device is not yet available in france .
finally , it might be objected that a major limitation lies in the limited size of the study , given the low number of 24 subjects included .
patients ' inclusion was hampered by difficulties in getting them to accept the protocol , particularly because of the invasiveness of procedures .
inclusion was limited to 24 patients for reasons of ethical considerations and cost effectiveness on the grounds that the absence of sustained af in this population made the diagnostic method uneconomical .
we suspect that the efficacy of the method could be improved by applying it to a selected population at higher risk of af , specifically including more diabetics and older patients .
because of the high recurrence rate of ischemic cerebral accidents , secondary prevention after a first - ever event is essential . despite an extensive evaluation ,
no determined etiology is found in one third to half of all cases , especially in young subjects .
it is currently estimated that 30% of is have a cardioembolic substrate , about half of which are due to af .
af is a very common arrhythmia whose prevalence increases with age up to 10% after the age of 75 versus 0.4% in the general population .
arterial embolism is a frequent complication of af , with a risk of 5% to 10% per year , especially in subjects with cardiovascular risk factors ( hypertension , diabetes , heart failure ) [ 17 , 18 ] . identifying a potential cardiac source of embolism
is of critical importance in the etiological workup of is because of therapeutic and prognostic implications .
epidemiological studies have shown a poorer prognosis for is / tia of cardioembolic origin than from other causes , especially those due to af [ 3 , 19 , 20 ] .
if af is identified as the cause of a first - ever cerebral infarction , anticoagulation therapy significantly reduces the recurrence rate as compared with antiplatelet therapy and dramatically improves these patients ' prognosis [ 17 , 2123 ] .
the yield is low for 12-lead ecgs , as well as for 24- to 72-h holter monitoring ( 2% to 5% ) [ 24 , 25 ] .
preliminary studies suggested that extending the duration of heart rate monitoring would increase the probability of detecting paroxysmal af [ 2527 ] .
the ilr offers the benefit of continuously monitoring cardiac rhythm over several months . in our study
, cerebral ischemic accidents were suspected to be of cardioembolic mechanism , as evidenced by the frequency of multiple , especially bilateral lesions .
nevertheless , among the 24 enrolled patients , af was detected as a potential cause of stroke in only one patient .
is / tia , the authors found a higher detection rate of af using 21-day monitoring with mobile cardiac outpatient telemetry , 5.3% of af > 30 s and 23% of short episodes
< 30 s. we can assume that the difference is due to patient selection and time of initiation of the monitoring .
in the tayal study , the patients were at higher risk of af because they were older ( mean age 66 11 versus 49 13 years in our study ) , and the prevalence of diabetes was high .
age and diabetes mellitus are well - known risk factors for af [ 16 , 29 ] .
it is to be noticed that diabetics were absent from our population . in the tayal study , rhythm monitoring after index event
was initiated earlier than in ours ( mean 20 days versus 3 months ) . in their work ,
the majority of af were diagnosed within the first days of monitoring ( mean 7 days , range 219 ) .
however , early transient af has been reported after acute stroke only as a consequence of the stroke , which led us purposely to choose to delay the initiation of monitoring in order to avoid confusion as to the responsibility of the stroke for the onset of paroxysmal arrhythmia .
the aim of the av study was to identify subjects with a high risk of atrial arrhythmia .
it has been shown that patients with documented af more often have a low lvi and are more easily inducible than patients without af [ 8 , 15 ] .
some authors have described similar electrophysiological abnormalities in patients with paroxysmal af and in patients with unexplained ischemic stroke [ 8 , 31 ] . however , the correlation between the presence of an arrhythmogenic substrate and the occurrence of spontaneous af has not been proven . in previous series , the percentage of inducible sustained af in patients with cryptogenic is was 50% to 65% [ 6 , 8 ] .
we also found a high rate of inducible sustained atrial arrhythmias ( 33.3% ) and a high rate of latent av ( 37.5% ) , whereas no spontaneous sustained asymptomatic af or af with fast ventricular response was documented over a period of 14 months .
moreover , the only patient who experienced short episodes of spontaneous af was not inducible by programmed atrial stimulation .
for the first time , continuous monitoring in a prospective study has made it possible to confirm the irrelevance of electrophysiological study in the etiological workup of is / tia , because neither low lvi nor atrial arrhythmia inducibility was predictive of spontaneous af .
firstly , the duration of the study was shortened by the device 's limited battery life .
rhythm monitoring was thus limited to 14 months , which is brief compared to the period of stroke recurrences . as epidemiological data in the literature
reveal that the risk of recurrent stroke is high in the early phase after a first - ever event and remains high for several years thereafter [ 19 , 32 , 33 ] , there is little prospect that the new generation of ilr with a prolonged battery life ( more than 36 months ) would be more informative .
the algorithm required 32 consecutive beats at 165 bpm to recognize a rhythm disturbance as an af episode .
it was consequently programmed to record af with rapid ventricular response , making it likely that a number of non - rapid episodes may have been missed . regarding self - activation ,
this was not a problem in our study because no triggering symptom was experienced resulting from patients ' failure to activate . in the future
, the ilr will be designed to record atrial activity more accurately in order to diagnose af with lower ventricular response .
the latest model of ilr ( reveal xt , medtronic inc . , minneapolis , usa ) seems to meet this objective , but the device is not yet available in france .
finally , it might be objected that a major limitation lies in the limited size of the study , given the low number of 24 subjects included .
patients ' inclusion was hampered by difficulties in getting them to accept the protocol , particularly because of the invasiveness of procedures .
inclusion was limited to 24 patients for reasons of ethical considerations and cost effectiveness on the grounds that the absence of sustained af in this population made the diagnostic method uneconomical .
we suspect that the efficacy of the method could be improved by applying it to a selected population at higher risk of af , specifically including more diabetics and older patients .
this study suggests that symptomatic atrial fibrillation or af with fast ventricular rate is not a frequent pathology in patients under the age of 75 with unexplained ischemic stroke .
these results do not plead for generalizing the use of an implantable loop recorder in the systematic evaluation of these patients .
further studies are needed to test the efficacy and cost effectiveness of the method in a selected population with a higher risk of atrial fibrillation , using an updated device that more accurately diagnoses af with low ventricular response .
finally , this study asserts that the electrophysiological study of atrial vulnerability is poor at predicting spontaneous atrial fibrillation after cryptogenic cerebral ischemia . | pubmed |
GREEN BOOK
Written by
Nick Vallelonga & Brian Currie & Peter Farrelly FADE IN:
TITLE CARD: “New York City, 1962”
EXT. COPACABANA - 10 EAST 60TH ST. - NYC - NIGHT The famous red awning with COPACABANA in white block letters
hangs over the entrance of the world-renowned nightclub. A
long line of well-dressed customers fills the sidewalk waiting to get in.
OVER THIS - WE HEAR the opening horns of Bobby Rydell’s
version of “THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC
”...
INT. COPACABANA - MAIN ROOM - CONTINUOUS
The vibe is electric. SIX HUNDRED PATRONS pack the tables in
the main room. Brazilian in theme, the Copa décor is art deco throughout, filled with palm trees illuminated by blue and pink hues. Pure elegance.
Peppering the crowd... gorgeous COPA GIRLS, white-jacketed
WAITERS, MAITRE D’S in Black Tuxedo Jackets, CAPTAINS in Blue Tux Jackets, and BOUNCERS in Red Tux Jackets.
On stage in front of the Orchestra, tuxedo-clad BOBBY RYDELL.
The crowd APPLAUDS.
BOBBY RYDELL
Thank you very much! Welcome to Jules Podell’s Copacabana! I’m Bobby Rydell and I’m happy to be here!
(singing)
That old Black Magic has me in its spell...
THE SONG CONTINUES THROUGH THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE...
FRANK “TONY LIP” VALLELONGA, 40s, Copa bouncer, moves quickly
through the crowd. Lip is imposing with a charismatic presence. You don’t mess with this guy.
Following Lip, an ATTRACTIVE COUPLE. Lip leads them to a table near the front of the stage. The man slips Lip some cash.
The Orchestra kicks in big, the room is jumping.. .
At a back booth, JULES PODELL, 60, Copa owner, a tough-as-
nails bulldog of a man. He taps his diamond ring on the table to the beat of the song. INT. COPACABANA - COAT CHECK - CONTINUOUS
Lip trolls for customers who will tip him for a table. He
NOTICES...
JOEY LOSCUDO, 50s, a Mob Boss, entering the club followed by
his CREW. Loscudo walks over to the COAT-CHECK GIRL, takes off his coat and hat, hands them to her.
LOSCUDO
Guard this hat with your life... My mother gave it to me.
He winks.
COAT-CHECK GIRL
Yes, Mr. Loscudo...
He hands the Coat-Check Girl some money. The MAITRE D’,
CARMINE, walks over.
CARMINE
Joey!
LOSCUDO
Hey, Carmine!
Carmine slips Lip some cash.
CARMINE
That’s not necessary...
LOSCUDO
Come on. You know I saw this kid Rydell last year in Philly. Nobody knew who he was.
CARMINE
Well they know him now...
They hug, then Carmine escorts Loscudo and his ENTOURAGE into the main room. Lip approaches the Coat-Check Girl.
LIP
Gimme Loscudo’s hat.
COAT-CHECK GIRL
But he said...
LIP
I know, just give it to me...
He bangs her a couple bucks, she turns the hat over to him. 2.INT. COPACABANA - MAIN ROOM - CONTINUOUS
RYDELL’S STILL SINGING, THE JOINT’S ROCKING... A FIGHT breaks
out... FOUR GOOMBAHS pound each other. Tables flip, glass breaks, patrons scream...
ANGLE ON Podell as he jumps up...
PODELL
TONY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!
Lip is already on the move, running to the fight... It’s pandemonium, but Rydell doesn’t stop. He and the
Orchestra building the speed and intensity of the song...
Lip is joined by Carmine, and some BOUNCERS, all of them
grappling with the Goombahs. They quickly RUSH THEM OUT OF THE ROOM....
EXT. COPACABANA - NIGHT - CONTINUOUSEveryone comes CRASHING out the front door. Lip throws the
Goombah down the steps to the street. He jumps up.
GOOMBAH
YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME, YOU PUNK?!
LIP
Do yourself a favor--go home with your friends.
GOOMBAH
Don’t you tell me where to go! Do you know who I am?! I’m goin’ back in there!
LIP
Nah, you’re not.
The Goombah TAKES A SWING at Lip and it’s on. Lips KNOCKS HIM ON HIS ASS, then jumps on him and starts to BASH HIS FACE IN.
CLOSE ON - Lip, brutally punching, his fists bloody, as WE
HEAR O.S. APPLAUSE and
SMASH CUT TO
INT. COPACABANA - STAGE - CONTINUOUS
The band’s swinging as Bobby Rydell delivers the big climax
to the song...
(CONTINUED) 3.BOBBY RYDELL (O.S.)
(singing)
...Whoa, that old Black Magic
called loooooooove!
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. COPACABANA - COAT CHECK - LATER - NIGHT
A line of people wait behind mob boss Joey Loscudo as he
screams at the Coat-Check Girl. Carmine stands by.
LOSCUDO
I‘ll burn this place down! Where’s my hat!
COAT-CHECK GIRL
I’m sorry, Mr. Loscudo, I went to the ladies room, I was only gone a minute...
LOSCUDO
Someone better find it!
CARMINE
It’ll turn up, I swear it’ll turn up.
LOSCUDO
Really? You tell that fat Jew bastard Podell that if it doesn’t turn up, I’ll burn this place down! You hear me? I’ll burn the Copa down!
EXT. COPACABANA - ENTRANCE - NIGHT - LATER
Lip, Carmine, and another bouncer, DANNY, smoke cigarettes,
lean against a dinged-up ‘55 BUICK Sedan.
A poster at the Copa entrance reads: BOBBY RYDELL - SOLD OUT!
A worker pastes a banner over it: COPA CLOSED FOR
RENOVATIONS
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER - SEE YOU IN JANUARY WITH SAMMY DAVIS, JR.!
CARMINE
Jesus Christ. Loscudo is out of his
mind.
DANNY
We earned our money tonight.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 4.CARMINE
Lip, I thought you were gonna kill
that guy.
LIP
Better him than me. What are you gonna do while we’re closed?
DANNY
I don’t know. Maybe work at my Uncle’s pizza joint.
LIP
(to Carmine)
What about you?
CARMINE
I’m gonna drink for two months.
The men straighten up as Jules Podell exits the club.
JULES PODELL
Take me home, Lip.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. JILLY’S SALOON - NIGHT
LOSCUDO’S HAT GETS PLOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A TABLE...PULL BACK... Luscudo sits in the corner booth, holding court
with JILLY and friends.
LOSCUDO
My hat! Jesus Christ, if you had tits, I’d kiss ya! How the hell’d you find it?
ANGLE ON LIP standing in front of the table.
LIP
Heard it was missing, so I looked into it.
LOSCUDO
I wanted to kill that broad.
LIP
Wasn’t her fault.
JILLY RIZZO
Who had the balls to clip it? CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 5.LIP
Don’t worry about it, I took care
of him.
LOSCUDO
I hope you gave him some beating.
Loscudo pulls out a wad of cash, peels off a C-note.
LIP
No, I can’t. It was my pleasure, Mr. Loscudo.
Loscudo SLAMS the MONEY into Lip’s hand.
LOSCUDO
Bullshit. And from now on you don’t have to call me Mister
Loscudo, ya
hear me?
Lip smiles.
EXT. LIP’S APARTMENT - BRONX - DAWNA six-story brick building with fire escapes framing the
windows. Parked cars fill both sides of the street. Lip’s car pulls up and parks in front of a FIRE HYDRANT. He gets out, grabs a garbage can, and PUTS IT OVER THE HYDRANT .
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - MORNING
Lip ENTERS the small one-bedroom apartment. He moves to the
kitchen, opens the refrigerator, chugs half a bottle of milk.
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING
Lip ENTERS. Sleeping in the bed, Lip’s wife DOLORES, late
30s, pretty. Beside her, NICK, 9, and FRANKIE, 7.
Lip takes off a ring, his watch, places them on top of the
bureau. Empties his pockets of crumpled wads of cash.
Lip strips down to a t-shirt and boxer shorts, gets in bed,
snuggles up to Dolores. She wakes, kisses him.
DOLORES
‘Morning...
LIP
‘Night...CONTINUED:
6.INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
CLOSE ON - A BLACK AND WHITE TV, THE YANKEES PLAY THE SAN
FRANCISCO GIANTS, GAME 6 OF THE WORLD SERIES.
PHIL RIZUTTO (V.O.)
“Roger Maris at the plate, Pierce checks the signs...”
PULL BACK -- On the couch watching the game, Lip’s Father, NICOLA, 70s, brother RUDY, 30s, Dolores’ father, ANTHONY, 70s, and her two brothers JOHNNY, 40s, and LOUIE, 30s.
JOHNNY
Come on, Roger! Hit one out!
RUDY
Be quiet, you’re gonna jinx it!
Lip ENTERS still wearing his t-shirt and white boxers.
LIP
(sarcastic)
Johnny, think you can yell a little louder?
JOHNNY
Maris is up...
LIP
Yeah, so am I now. What the hell are you guys doing here?
Johnny discreetly nods toward the kitchen where we see TWO BLACK WORKMEN laying down linoleum. The kids, Nick and Frank, play with plastic Green Army soldiers in the corner.
JOHNNY
Figured we’d come up and keep
Dolores company...
BACK TO SCENE - Lip gets the point .
ANTHONY
(in Italian)
You shouldn’t be sleeping in the
middle of the day, leaving my daughter here alone with these sacks of coal.
NICOLA
(in Italian)
And why do you hire them to do an Italian’s job? It’s a disgrace.
(CONTINUED) 7.LIP
(in Italian)
I don’t know who they’re gonna
send.
ON Dolores - she pours a couple glasses of lemonade and hands the drinks to the Black Workmen.
BLACK WORKMAN
Thank you, ma’am.
Lip watches as the Workmen drink the lemonade, then Dolores takes the glasses and PUTS THEM IN THE SINK. As she leads the men to the door, we go ...
ON THE TV - MARIS SWINGS... CRACK!
PHIL RIZUTTO (V.O.)
“Deep to center field, holy cow he did it! A home run for Roger Maris! Holy cow!”
Johnny jumps up, they all CHEER...
Except Lip, whose eyes keep darting toward the GLASSES IN THE
SINK. Dolores comes back and Lip joins her in the kitchen. He pours himself a glass of water, dips his finger in the sauce she’s cooking. Dolores slaps his hand away.
DOLORES
Get dressed, Tony, we’re gonna eat.
She picks up a big platter of meatballs and sausage and takes it into the dining room. Lip glances into the sink.
CLOSE ON - The Black Workmen’s two empty lemonade glasses .
Lip takes the GLASSES out of the sink, DROPS THEM INTO THE
GARBAGE.
CUT TO:
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - DINETTE - LATER
Lip’s at the table, dressed now. Wine and plates of rigatoni.
Joining them for lunch are FRAN, Johnny’s wife, and LYNN, Louie’s wife. Dolores makes the sign of the cross.
DOLORES
Bless us our Lord, for these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 8.They all make the sign of the cross.
NICOLA
Salute.
They start stuffing their faces.
DOLORES
If anyone hears about a job for
Tony, let us know.
LIP
(nobody’s business)
Dolores...
RUDY
What happened, you get fired?
DOLORES
No, Copa’s closing for repairs. He needs something for just a couple months.
JOHNNY
I’ll ask around.
NICOLA
(in Italian)
Mister big shot. Always spend, spend, spend. No job, he gets himself a new kitchen floor .
LIP
(in Italian)
Come on, Pop. The kids were gettin’ splinters in their feet .
FRAN
All the people he knows, he’ll find something.
JOHNNY
He had a great job at the sanitation department.
(to Lip)
You shouldn’t have punched out the foreman.
LIP
He shouldn’t have woke me up.
Everyone LAUGHS.
CUT TO:CONTINUED:
9.INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY - LATER
Dolores is cleaning up. She’s scraping a plate into the
garbage can when she notices something O.S.
DOLORES’ POV - Two empty glasses in the garbage...She SIGHS, disappointed in her husband, then picks up the
glasses from the garbage pail and puts them back into the sink.
CUT TO:
INT. GORMAN’S HOT DOGS - DAY
Johnny, Lip, and Lip’s youngest boy, Frankie, ENTER.
JOHNNY
I’m tellin’ you, this is gonna be the easiest fifty bucks you ever made.
They walk over to a table where FAT PAULIE, 40s, is waiting with the owner, GORMAN, and a couple other CUSTOMERS.
FAT PAULIE
Johnny told me you ate forty-eight White Castle burgers in one sitting.
FRANKIE
Cheese
burgers.
FAT PAULIE
I don’t believe you.
LIP
What do I care if you believe me?
(beat)
Gorman, who’s got the record for hotdogs here?
GORMAN
Fat Paulie. Fifteen.
JOHNNY
Why wasn’t Lip in on that contest?
FAT PAULIE
What contest? I was hungry.
The guys CHUCKLE.
(CONTINUED) 10.GORMAN
Bet’s simple. Half a C-note. Most
hotdogs in an hour wins. With
toppings .
Lip sizes him up.
LIP
What the hell you weigh?
FAT PAULIE
Two-sixty.
JOHNNY
Aaaaay. Your left ass weighs two-
sixty.
Fat Paulie raises his right hand.
FAT PAULIE
May my mother-in-law drop dead on the spot if I’m lyin’.
They all LAUGH.
LIP
Okay, you’re on.
SMASH CUT:
INT. GORMAN’S HOT DOGS - LATER
The table filled with an assortment of hot dogs. Everyone
CHEERS, CLAPS, as Lip and Fat Paulie STUFF THEIR FACES.
JOHNNY
Come on, Lip, pick it up! The baby elephant just hit nineteen!
Lip sweats, slows down, looks like he’s gonna puke. The crowd cheers as Fat Paulie calmly takes a big bite of another dog.
CUT TO:
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Lip and Frankie ENTER. Frankie runs over to Nick who is doing
homework.
LIP
Nicky, you doin’ your homework?CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 11.NICK
Yeah.
DOLORES
Where were you?
Lip plops down in a chair, exhausted.
LIP
Gorman’s. Fat Paulie bet me fifty
bucks he could eat more hot dogs than me. He knocked off twenty-eight. Guy’s an animal.
DOLORES
Are you crazy--you lost fifty dollars?!
LIP
Dolores, please. I ate thirty.
Lip pulls out the winnings. She plucks the bills from his hand.
DOLORES
Thank God. The gas bill came in today.
THE PHONE RINGS. Lip answers.
LIP
Yeah?
INT. COPACABANA - DAY - SAME
Jules Podell sits at his table in the empty Copa. He sips a
cup of coffee as WORKERS clear tablecloths, flip chairs onto
tables, etc.
JULES PODELL
(into phone)
Hey, Lip, some guy called over here
-- a doctor’s lookin’ for a driver. You interested?
INTERCUT CONVERSATION:
LIP
Yeah.
JULES PODELL
They’re interviewing guys tomorrow afternoon. Here’s the address. CONTINUED:
12.EXT. CARNEGIE HALL - 881 SEVENTH AVENUE - NYC - DAY
Lip, wearing black slacks and a bowling-style shirt, stands
at the front of... CARNEGIE HALL...
He takes out a piece of paper, looks at it. This can’t be the
place...INT. CARNEGIE HALL - CONCERT HALL - DAYMagnificent. Lip enters, moves down the aisle. He takes in
the spectacle.
WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
Excuse me. We’re not open right now...
Lip turns to face the BOX OFFICE MANAGER across the room.
BOX OFFICE MANAGER
But you’re welcome to buy tickets to tonight’s performance.
LIP
‘There a doctor’s office ‘round here? I think I got the wrong address.
Lip holds up the paper.
BOX OFFICE MANAGER
You have the correct address. Dr. Shirley lives upstairs, above the hall.
INT. DON SHIRLEY’S APARTMENT HALLWAY - DAY
Lip walks down the hall. Two ENGLISH BUTLER-TYPES sit in
chairs outside a door. The door opens and an ASIAN MAN, black suit and tie, carrying a briefcase, exits.
At the door stands an Indian valet, AMIT, white Nehru shirt,
white linen pants, clipboard in hand.
LIP
I’m here for the driver job. Tony Lip.
Amit checks the list, flips a page, can’t find it.
LIP (CONT’D)
I should be on there.
(CONTINUED) 13.AMIT
No Tony Lip . I do have a Tony
Val...Valle...
LIP
Vallelonga. That’s me.
AMIT
Fill this out while you wait.
LIP
What?
AMIT
Fill. It. Out. While you wait.
Amit hands him a clipboard and a pen, then Lip takes a seat
next to the butlers.
INT. SHIRLEY’S APARTMENT - DAY - LATERAmit escorts Lip in. CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.
AMIT
Take a seat.
Lip sits in a leather chair and Amit EXITS. Lip looks around.
Never seen anything like it. Thirty-foot ceilings, giant skylight, enormous French windows overlooking Manhattan.
It’s filled to the rafters with paintings, African art,
sculptures, Chinese lanterns, a giant gold Buddha, and two six-foot elephant tusks. A crystal chandelier hangs above a black Steinway Concert Grand Piano.
A THRONE... an actual King’s throne ... sits on a riser, back
against the glass window.
VOICE (O.S.)
Mr. Vallelonga, sorry to keep you
waiting...
Lip turns...Standing before him is DR. DONALD SHIRLEY, late 30s, black, resplendent in a traditional African robe. He’s bedecked in assorted chain necklaces, bracelets, watch, and rings. Dr. Shirley speaks in a clipped, refined manner.
DR. SHIRLEY
I’m Dr. Donald Shirley.
Lip’s taken aback. Not what he expected. He stands.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 14.LIP
Hi. Tony.
Shirley extends his hand. They shake.
DR. SHIRLEY
Please, have a seat.
Lip sits. Shirley sits on his “throne,” looking down at Lip.
LIP
This is some place you got here.
Motioning to the Elephant Tusks.
LIP (CONT’D)
Them horns real?
DR. SHIRLEY
Elephant tusks. Yes.
Lip nods, points to the chain around Shirley’s neck.
LIP
What about that? That a molar?
DR. SHIRLEY
A what?
LIP
A molar.
Lip points to his side teeth.
LIP (CONT’D)
Like a shark tooth? Or a tiger’s?
DR. SHIRLEY
Um, no. It was a gift.
LIP
Oh.
(looks around)
I thought I was going to an office.
They said a doctor needed a driver.
DR. SHIRLEY
That’s all they told you?
Lip shrugs.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 15.DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Actually, it’s a bit more
complicated than that. Have you ever driven professionally before?
LIP
Sanitation.
(beat)
Garbage trucks.
Off Shirley’s unimpressed look.
LIP (CONT’D)
Plus I drive my boss home at night. I can drive anything.
DR. SHIRLEY
I see. What other experience do you have?
LIP
I worked a lot of joints. The Wagon
Wheel, Peppermint Lounge, Copa...
DR. SHIRLEY
In what capacity?
LIP
What do you mean?
DR. SHIRLEY
What did you do there?
Lip chews on that. You can smell the wood burning...
LIP
Public relations...
Shirley nods, understanding.
DR. SHIRLEY
Well, first of all, Tony, I’m not a
medical doctor. I’m a musician.
LIP
You mean like songs?
DR. SHIRLEY
Yes. I’m about to start a concert tour, the majority of which will be down South.
LIP
Atlantic City? CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 16.DR. SHIRLEY
The deep south . We start in the
midwest, but then we’re taking a
hard left. Kentucky, North Carolina, Tennessee, and on down through the Delta.
(beat)
Do you foresee any issues working for a black man?
LIP
No, no... ’fact just yesterday me and the wife had a couple colored guys over the house. For drinks.
Shirley takes a BEAT.
DR. SHIRLEY
Oh, I see. You’re married.
LIP
Yup. Two kids.
DR. SHIRLEY
I don’t know if this is the proper job for a married man.
LIP
Why, we bringing broads?
Shirley shoots him a look.
DR. SHIRLEY
My point is, you’ll be gone for eight straight weeks--with no breaks--right up until Christmas. You’re quite sure you can leave your family for that long?
LIP
Depends on what you’re paying.
DR. SHIRLEY
Ninety dollars a week, plus room and board. But let me be crystal clear... I’m not simply hiring a chauffeur. I need someone who can handle my itinerary. I need a personal assistant. I need a valet. I need someone who will launder my clothes, shine my shoes...
LIP
Good luck, Doc.CONTINUED: (3)
(CONTINUED) 17.Lip stands, heads for the door. Shirley steps down off his
throne.
DR. SHIRLEY
Tony...
Lip turns back, faces Shirley.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
I had my record label ask around town to find me the right man. Your name came up more than once. You’ve impressed a lot of people by the way you handle... trouble. That’s why I called and asked about your availability.
Lip thinks about it.
LIP
Look, I got no problem being on the road with you. But I ain’t no butler, I ain’t ironing shirts, and I’m not shining nobody’s shoes. You need someone to get you from point A to point B? You need someone to make sure there’s no problems along the way -- and you
going through
the deep South, believe me, there’s gonna be problems. So if you want me, it’s gotta be a buck and a quarter a week. Or go hire the little Chink that just pranced out of here and see how far you get.
Shirley stares, stone-faced.
DR. SHIRLEY
Well, Mr. Vallelonga...thank you for coming in.
As Lip turns and walks out, we --
CUT TO:
EXT. JOE & JOE RESTAURANT - BRONX - LATE AFTERNOON
A tired Lip comes walking down the sidewalk and ENTERS.INT. JOE & JOE RESTAURANT - BAR/DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUSSmoky, packed, loud... Lip snakes his way to BOBBY, 40s,
CHINESE, who’s behind the bar.CONTINUED: (4)
(CONTINUED) 18.LIP
Bobby, give me a Rheingold. Ice
cold.
Bobby pours a draft of Rheingold, slides it in front of him.
BOBBY
(concerned)
Mister Tony. Augie asking about you.
Lip isn’t happy to hear this. A CUSTOMER pounds on the bar.
CUSTOMER
Come on, I’m dying of thirst over here!
BOBBY
Shut up, I’m talking!
He turns back to Lip.
LIP
When?
BOBBY
Now. He in his box.
Lip drains the beer, leaves the bar area, weaves his way through the crowd to an ENCLOSED, PRIVATE BOOTH with a curtain blocking the people inside. Lip hesitates, then opens the curtain.
HIS POV - AUGIE, rough-looking, dead eyes, sits there
stuffing his face with linguini and clam sauce. TWO PSYCHOPATHS sit with him. The Psychos look on blankly. A
lesser man would shit his pants.
AUGIE
(intense)
Tony Lip. What the hell happened at the Copa? I heard you split a guy’s face open.
Lip shrugs.
AUGIE (CONT’D)
That guy you hit. He was one of Charlie the Hand’s crew.
LIP
Then he shoulda known better. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 19.Augie mad-dogs him, never losing eye contact as he stuffs his
face. Lip doesn’t blink.
AUGIE
The Hand wanted me to look into it. I spoke to Podell. Whole thing was over a piece of ass, right?
Lip shrugs.
AUGIE (CONT’D)
A beef like that should never happen in the club. They were out of line. So we squashed it.
He wipes olive oil off his chin.
AUGIE (CONT’D)
Sit down. Have something to eat.
LIP
Thanks, but I already ate.
Augie chews away, not sure if he believes him.
AUGIE
You looking to earn some extra scharole? I could keep you busy while the Copa’s down.
LIP
What I gotta do?
AUGIE
Things...
Lip thinks about it.
LIP
Appreciate it, but I’m gonna spend some time with the family.
AUGIE
Don’t be stupid. You can make a few bucks, buy something nice for your wife.
LIP
I’m good. I’m flush right now.
CUT TO:CONTINUED: (2)
20.EXT. WHITE PLAINS ROAD - BRONX - EARLY EVENING
The EL TRAIN thunders above Lip as he enters a PAWN SHOP.INT. PAWN SHOP - BRONX - EARLY EVENINGCLOSE ON Lip’s WRISTWATCH on the counter. The pawn guy,
CHARLIE, looks up at Lip, concerned. Reluctantly, he hands Lip cash and a ticket.
PAWN GUY
Here’s fifty. Give me sixty before Christmas, you get it back.
Lip turns to leave.
PAWN GUY (CONT’D)
Hey, Lip... everything okay?
LIP
(offended)
You got beak trouble, Charlie? Mind your business.
Lip walks out.
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHTLip sits watching TV as Dolores hands him a bowl of spaghetti.
DOLORES
So what happened with the doctor
interview?
LIP
He ain’t a real doctor, he’s a piano player.
Lip digs in, starts stuffing his face.
DOLORES
I don’t understand--why’d they say he was a doctor?
LIP
I don’t know. I think he’s like a doctor of piano-playing or something.
DOLORES
You can be that?
(CONTINUED) 21.LIP
I guess. He lives on top of
Carnegie Hall. You shoulda seen this place, Dee--it was filled with statues and all kinds of fancy crap. And he was sitting on a friggin’ throne all dressed up like the king of the jungle bunnies.
DOLORES
He’s colored? You wouldn’t last a week with him.
LIP
For the right money, I would.
As Lip continues eating, we go...
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - EARLY MORNINGLip and Dolores are asleep in bed, the kids asleep in another
bed across the room. THE PHONE RINGS. Lip and Dolores wake up. Lip looks at the clock--8 a.m. He answers the phone.
LIP
(into phone)
Hello... Yeah... Really?... Why?... Okay, hold on.
Lip puts his hand over the receiver.
DOLORES
Everything okay?
LIP
It’s him.
DOLORES
Who?
LIP
Dr. Shirley, the piano guy. He wants to talk to you.
She sits up.
DOLORES
(whispers)
Me
? What? Why?
Lip shrugs. He holds out the phone, Dolores takes it. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 22.DOLORES (CONT’D)
(into phone)
Hello... Good morning, Doctor, nice
to talk to you, too...
She glances at Lip.
DOLORES (CONT’D)
(into phone)
Yes, that is a long time...
Dolores looks at Lip as Shirley talks on.
DOLORES (CONT’D)
(beat)
It is...Yes, I’m sure...Thank you for calling...Goodbye.
Dolores hangs up.
LIP
What he say?
Dolores looks stunned.
DOLORES
He wanted to know if I’d be okay with him taking my husband away from his family for two months. He said he’d pay you what you asked for.
Lip looks surprised. She rolls away from him.
LIP
It’s good money, Dolores. You know we need it. I can’t be eatin’ thirty hot dogs every day.
Dolores wells up.
DOLORES
I know...I said it was okay for you
to go.
EXT. LIP’S APARTMENT - MORNING
Dion's “RUNAROUND SUE
” drifts lazily from a transistor
radio... Laundry hangs from fire escapes. OLD ITALIAN WOMEN
sit in folding chairs CHATTING while Grandpa Nicola, Grandpa Anthony and Rudy watch Nick and Frankie play.
A 1963 CHRYSLER NEW YORKER and a 1961 CADILLAC SEDAN are
parked in front. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 23.Lip, wearing a well-worn black suit, stands next to the
Chrysler talking to a RECORD EXEC, 40s, sharply dressed, no-nonsense, and his nebbishy ASSISTANT. The Record Exec hands Lip a check.
RECORD EXEC
Here’s the first half of your pay. You’ll get the rest when the tour’s over.
LIP
Uh-uh, I gotta get paid every week.
RECORD EXEC
Sorry, that’s not how the record company does it.
Lip glares at him.
RECORD EXEC (CONT’D)
We gotta have some guarantee you’ll finish the job.
LIP
Why the hell wouldn’t I finish the job? I took it, didn’t I?
The Record Exec glances at his assistant, then back at Lip.
RECORD EXEC
Then you’ve got nothing to worry about.
The Exec holds out the car keys. As Lip reaches for them, the Exec pulls them back.
RECORD EXEC (CONT’D)
Here’s the deal, Mr. Vallelonga. It’s your job to get Don to all his tour dates on time. If he misses any
shows, you’re not getting your
back-end.
Lip takes the keys.
LIP
He’s not gonna miss any shows.
RECORD EXEC
Good. And you’re going to need this.
He hands Lip a small GREEN BOOK. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 24.RECORD EXEC (CONT’D)
It’s the book I told you about.
Sometimes you’re staying in the same hotels, and sometimes you’re not.
As Lip glances at the book, we --
ANGLE ON Lip’s brother-in-law, Johnny, exiting the building.
He carries a suitcase over to the Cadillac.
As the Record Exec and his assistant drive off in the
Chrysler, Lip walks over to Johnny.
JOHNNY
(re: Caddy)
Madonne. This the new one?
LIP
The record company rented it.
Lip opens the trunk, Johnny puts the suitcase in.
JOHNNY
So what’d my sister say about you being gone for three weeks?
LIP
Eight
weeks.
Johnny smirks.
JOHNNY
Yeah, right. Ten-to-one you slap the moolie out and come home under a month.
Lip smiles, shoves Johnny. Dolores approaches with the kids.
DOLORES
Come here. Say goodbye to your father.
Nick and Frankie run to Lip, hug him. They get emotional.
LIP
Stop that. You gotta be big boys, take care of your mother...
HE give the kids kisses, then they run away. CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 25.DOLORES
Did you go to the A-A-A for the
maps?
LIP
The record guy gave me maps and directions with the itinerary thing. And this.
Lip pulls out the small green book that the Record Exec gave him.
DOLORES
(reading)
The Negro Motorist Green-Book
?
LIP
Lists all the places coloreds can stay down south. Like if you’re traveling while black.
DOLORES
Traveling while black?
LIP
Yeah. Like if you’re black but you gotta travel for some reason.
DOLORES
They got a special book for that?
LIP
I guess.
DOLORES
Did you pack an iron?
LIP
I ain’t lugging around no iron, Dee.
DOLORES
How you gonna keep your pants pressed?
LIP
I’ll put ‘em under my mattress.
Dolores takes Lip’s hand.
DOLORES
I want you to write me a letter every chance you get.CONTINUED: (3)
(CONTINUED) 26.LIP
Aw, come on, Dee, I can’t write
letters.
DOLORES
Take you five minutes. Promise me.
LIP
I can’t write, it’s embarrassing-- they ain’t gonna be no good.
DOLORES
It’s a lot cheaper than callin’ long distance, Tony. Promise me you’ll write.
Lip SIGHS.
LIP
Okay. I promise. I’ll try.
She looks at him.
LIP (CONT’D)
Yeah.
Lip hugs and kisses her. He gives her the check.
LIP (CONT’D)
Put this in the bank today.
She takes it and hands him a brown paper bag.
DOLORES
I made a couple veal-cutlet sandwiches for you and Dr. Shirley. Be careful. I love you.
LIP
Love you, too.
DOLORES
You better be home at Christmas or don’t come home at all!
As they kiss, Grandpa Nicola CALLS OUT to Lip:
NICOLA
(in Italian)
He who arrives late has no bed!
Lip waves goodbye to everyone. WE STAY ON Dolores as he drives away...CONTINUED: (4)
27.EXT. CARNEGIE HALL - 881 SEVENTH AVENUE - NYC - DAY
Lip parks Shirley’s rented Cadillac in front of an identical
Cadillac, gets out, opens the trunk. Smoking next to the other Cadillac is OLEG MALAKHOV, 30s, Russian, wears glasses,
and GEORGE DYER, 30s.
Lip takes out a cigarette, is about to light it, then notices
Oleg smoking. He puts the cigarette back in the pack, then walks over to Oleg and George.
LIP
Bum a smoke?
Oleg sizes Lip up, then reluctantly hands him a cigarette.
LIP (CONT’D)
I’m Tony. You the band?
OLEG
(Russian accent)
Oleg. Cello.
GEORGE
George. Bass. And we’re not a band, we’re a trio.
Dr. Shirley exits the building, impeccably dressed in a silk suit. He’s followed by his valet, Amit, who awkwardly carries three large pieces of Shirley’s EXPENSIVE LUGGAGE.
Lip opens the back door of the car. Shirley gets in. Amit
drops the bags he was carrying on the sidewalk. Shirley sits in the back seat. Amit leans in, places a RED CASHMERE BLANKET over Shirley’s legs.
DR. SHIRLEY
Thank you, Amit.
AMIT
Have a wonderful trip, Doctor.
Amit shuts the car door. The luggage sits on the sidewalk between Lip and Amit. Lip smokes his butt, shoots Amit an “ It
ain’t my job” look. Standoff.
Amit caves, picks up the three bags, one at a time, puts them
into the trunk. Lip SLAMS the trunk shut. 28.EXT. GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE - DAY
BIRD’S-EYE VIEW of The Westside Highway in 1960’s Manhattan
and the glistening Hudson River as the two Cadillacs cross the upper-level of the George Washington Bridge surrounded by hundreds of period cars.
EXT. ROUTE 80 WEST - NEW JERSEY - LATER - DAYDr. Shirley’s Cadillac drives west on Route 80, followed by
Oleg and George.
INT. CADILLAC - DAYLip’s driving fast, smoking faster. Shirley chokes on the
blue haze filling the car, cracks his window.
Lip reaches into the brown paper bag, pulls out a wax-paper-
wrapped sandwich with “Tony” written on it, peels back the foil. Veal cutlet and peppers sandwich on a loaf of Italian bread. Still smoking, Lip starts to eat.
DR. SHIRLEY
Tony, when we arrive in a city, the first thing I’d like you to do is check the piano where I’m playing. Make sure it’s a Steinway as per my contract.
Lip pulls out a pen, writes “ STAIN WAY” on the map.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
And could you see to it that I have a bottle of Cutty Sark in my room every night.
LIP
Every
night?
Lip smiles.
LIP (CONT’D)
Well if you ever need any help with that...
DR. SHIRLEY
I won’t. And ten-and-two on the wheel, please.
Tony loses the smile. Shirley slides over in his seat so that he’s directly behind Lip.
(CONTINUED) 29.LIP
Doc, I noticed on the itinerary
thing there that the last show’s December 23rd.
DR. SHIRLEY
Birmingham, yes. It’s a Christmas show.
LIP
Any way we could hit the road early the next morning so we could be back home in time for Christmas Eve?
DR. SHIRLEY
We’ll see. Could you please put the cigarette out?
LIP
Why?
DR. SHIRLEY
Because I can’t breathe back here.
LIP
What are you talking about? Smoke’s going into my lungs. I’m doing all the work here.
DR. SHIRLEY
Thank you.
Lip thinks about it, defiantly takes one long last drag off the heater, then another, then finally FLICKS IT OUTSIDE.
Lip rolls up his window, shoots a look at the second
sandwich, “Dr. Shirley” written on it. FUCK THIS GUY. He
opens it, stuffs Shirley’s sandwich in his mouth, looks straight ahead.
CUT TO:
EXT. PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE - LATER - DAY
CLOSE ON A SIGN - PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE.EXT. PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE - CONTINUOUSOleg’s car speeds up, pulls next to Shirley’s Cadillac. Oleg
rolls down his window, motions to Shirley, who rolls down his window. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 30.OLEG
(in Russian)
Everything okay?
DR. SHIRLEY
(in Russian)
Yes. Everything’s fine.
Lip looks back over his shoulder, stunned to hear Shirley
speaking in another language.
OLEG
(in Russian)
Good. We’ll meet you at the hotel in Pittsburgh.
DR. SHIRLEY
(in Russian)
Make a reservation for dinner. We’ll rehearse immediately after. See you there.
Oleg gives Lip the hairy eyeball, blows past him.
LIP
(to himself)
Hell’s he looking at?
Lip looks in the mirror at Shirley.
LIP (CONT’D)
You speak German, huh?
DR. SHIRLEY
That was Russian.
LIP
Yeah, I was stationed in Germany in the army. I can pick up a little of what you’re sayin’. Be careful, Krauts are all sneaks. Kennedy shoulda bombed ‘em when we had the chance--plus
now them Cuban
bastards.
Shirley rolls his eyes.
LIP (CONT’D)
Where they going anyway? Ain’t they supposed to be following us?CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 31.DR. SHIRLEY
They have the itinerary. As long as
they make it to the shows on time, I don’t worry and you shouldn’t either.
LIP
(offended)
I ain’t worried about nothin’.
CUT TO:
INT. DINER - DAY
Lip and Shirley sit in a booth eating lunch. Shirley picks at
a tuna salad while Lip chows down on a pot roast. Shirley watches Lip, amazed at the ferocity with which he attacks his meal.
DR. SHIRLEY
How is that?
Lip thinks about it.
LIP
Salty.
Lip continues to stuff his face.
DR. SHIRLEY
Have you ever thought of being a food critic?
Lip looks up, hopeful.
LIP
Not really, but...why? Is there money in that?
DR. SHIRLEY
I’m just saying, you have a marvelous way with words when describing food. Salty
. So vivid.
One can almost taste it.
Lip feels the jab.
LIP
I’m saying it’s salty, and salt’s cheatin’. Any cook can make things salty. But to make it taste good without
the salt, with just the
other flavors, that’s the trick.
See, when you--CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 32.DR. SHIRLEY
We should be going soon if we
expect to get to Pittsburgh by dinner.
LIP
You know, when I was in the army I knew a guy from Pittsburgh, but he called it Titsburgh
because he said
all the girls there have big tits.
DR. SHIRLEY
That’s absurd. Why would women in Pittsburgh have larger breasts than, say, women in New York?
Lip shrugs.
LIP
‘The hell I know? Guess we’ll find out, huh?
Lip goes back to his plate.
LIP (CONT’D)
By the way, when you hired me, my wife went out bought one of your records--’one about the orphans.
DR. SHIRLEY
Orphans?
LIP
Yeah. Cover had a bunch of kids
sitting around a campfire?
Shirley has to think a moment.
DR. SHIRLEY
Orpheus
.
LIP
What?
DR. SHIRLEY
Orpheus in the Underworld . It’s
based on a French Opera. And those
kids on the cover? They were demons in hell.
LIP
No shit? Must of been naughty kids.
CUT TO:CONTINUED: 33.INT. CADILLAC - DAY - LATER
They’ve been driving awhile now. Lip starts to pull the car
over to the side of the road.
DR. SHIRLEY
What are you doing?
LIP
I gotta take a leak.
DR. SHIRLEY
Here? Now?
LIP
What, you want me to piss my pants?
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS
The Cadillac stops on the shoulder of the road next to some
trees. Lip gets out, takes a few steps... then realizes he forgot something...
Lip goes back, opens the driver’s side door and GRABS HIS
WALLET OFF THE DASH.
Shirley and Lip’s eyes meet for a moment. Then, wallet in
hand, Lip heads to the woods to pee.
CUT TO:
INT. PENN-SHERATON HOTEL - LIP’S ROOM - NIGHTLip wears a guinea T-shirt. He steps out of the bathroom,
dries his hands with a towel, opens a sliding glass door that leads to...
EXT. LIP’S ROOM - 2ND FLOOR BALCONY - CONTINUOUS - NIGHTFrom this perch, the courtyard is illuminated by the
reflection of the pool light. Lip steps out, fires up a smoke, takes in the cool breeze.
LIP’S POV - Oleg and George are at a table poolside, playing
grab-ass with TWO WOMEN, drinking, LAUGHING...
Lip peers across the courtyard, finds Dr. Shirley sitting on
the patio outside his room, drink in hand, a half-empty bottle of Cutty beside him.
Lip observes a moment, goes back into his room.
CUT TO: 34.INT. PENN SHERATON HOTEL - LOBBY - DAY
Lip, wearing a black suit, sits reading a paper. Shirley
wearing a tuxedo, enters, crosses to Lip. Shirley pulls a roll of cash out of his pocket, peels off some bills, gives them to Lip.
DR. SHIRLEY
Take this for any incidentals we may need. If you want something for yourself, you don’t have to ask me, just make sure you keep the receipts. When it runs low, let me know.
Lip nods. They walk towards the exit.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
One more thing--we will be attending many events before and after the concerts, interacting with some of the wealthiest and most highly-educated people in the country. It is my feeling that your diction, as charming as it may be in the tri-state area, could use a bit of finessing.
LIP
Like you mean diction in what way?
DR. SHIRLEY
In the only way the word “diction” is ever used.
LIP
(unsure)
Okay...
DR. SHIRLEY
Your intonation, inflection, choice of words--
LIP
Ayyyy
, I got my own problems, I
gotta worry what other people think about the way I talk?
DR. SHIRLEY
There are simple techniques I can teach you that are quite effective. I can help you.
(CONTINUED) 35.Lip is frustrated.
LIP
I don’t need no goddamn help. If
people don’t like the way I talk, they can go take a shit.
DR. SHIRLEY
The profanity is another issue.
LIP
A
fanabla, why you breakin’ my
balls?
DR. SHIRLEY
Because you can do better. And here’s another thing--as guest of honor, I will be announced when I enter these intimate events. You will be announced as well. Vallelonga may be difficult to pronounce. I was thinking “Valle” would be more appropriate. Tony Valle. It’s short and simple.
LIP
Nuh-uh. If they got a problem with Vallelonga, they can call me Tony Lip.
Shirley winces.
DR. SHIRLEY
These are genteel people. That might be a little...worldly
for them.
LIP
Then it’s Tony Vallelonga . All
these high-class people that are so much smarter than me, with all their intelligence and speakin’ abilities, you’re telling me they can’t pronounce my name?
DR. SHIRLEY
I’m just telling you, Valle
will
make things easier.
LIP
My last name is Vallelonga and I ain’t changing it for nobody. They don’t like it, they can shove it up their ass--I’ll just wait outside. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 36.Dr. Shirley considers this.
DR. SHIRLEY
A sound compromise.
CUT TO:
ESTABLISHING SHOT - PITTSBURGH MANSION - EVENING
EXT. MANSION - BACK PARKING LOT - EVENING - SAME
Filled with BLACK CHAUFFEURS killing time next to their cars.
Waiters, Busboys, Waitresses, Cooks, ALL BLACK, move in and
out of the home. Lip lights a cigarette, looks around...
CLOSE ON - LIP’S EXPRESSION as he realizes he’s THE ONLY
WHITE HELP.Lip NOTICES A CHAUFFEUR trying to watch the show from a WIDE-
OPEN SIDE-WINDOW. He joins him. From here, he can see inside the BALLROOM.
HIS POV - a well-dressed WHITE AUDIENCE packs the lavish
room. On stage, a Steinway piano, a Cello, and a Stand-up Bass. A distinguished-looking WOMAN, MC, 40s, steps up to the microphone.
MC
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are privileged to present a great American artist. He gave his first public performance at the age of three. At age eighteen, at Arthur Fiedler's invitation, our guest made his concert debut with the Boston Pops. He holds Doctorates in Psychology, in Music, and in the Liturgical Arts, and has performed at the White House twice in the last fourteen months. He
is a true
virtuoso.
BACK ON Lip as he leans toward a CHAUFFEUR, 60s, beside him.
LIP
Virtuoso--that’s Italian. Means he’s really good.
BACK TO SCENE --
MC
Ladies and gentleman, please welcome The Don Shirley Trio!CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 37.As the AUDIENCE APPLAUDS, Dr. Shirley, Oleg, and George take
their places at their respective instruments. The Trio opens with the Irving Berlin standard “BLUE SKIES
.”
Shirley, using his own prodigious technique, is ELEGANT . The
AUDIENCE IS MESMERIZED.
ANGLE ON Lip as he steps closer to the window .
CLOSE ON DR. SHIRLEY - His hands glide over the Steinway’s
ivories like a bird in flight. Each finger is center key,
each note plucked perfectly. HE’S A VIRTUOSO AT THE PEAK OF HIS CRAFT.
PUSH IN ON LIP as he realizes that he’s not driving a piano
player, he’s driving a genius.
CUT TO:
EXT. MANSION - DRIVEWAY - NIGHT
CLOSE ON - DICE ROLLING... A FOUR AND A SIX!PULL BACK - A CRAPS GAME BEING PLAYED OUT BETWEEN PARKED
CARS... DICE, DOLLAR BILLS, and QUARTERS ON THE GROUND .
Lip rolls the dice. He’s surrounded by the chauffeurs, busboys, waiters, cooks. Everyone SCREAMS as Lip...
Rolls FOUR AND FOUR. MORE CHEERING, MONEY LAID DOWN ...
Lip rolls again... FIVE AND FIVE! WINNER! CHEERS AND MOANS...
Lip grabs the pile of money .
BUSBOY
Shit! He won again!
LIP
Hey, it’s your dice, I’m just
having a lucky day.
DR. SHIRLEY (O.S.)
Tony!
Lip turns to see Shirley at the end of the aisle of parked cars.
CHAUFFEUR
Boss man’s callin’.
LIP
He ain’t my boss. I work for the record company. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 38.Lip scoops up his winnings, walks away to the crowd’s dismay.
BUSBOY
(calling after him)
Come on! Give us a chance to win
back our loot!
LIP
Sorry, fellas, duty calls!
Lip joins Shirley at the car.
DR. SHIRLEY
I’ve been looking for you.
LIP
Sorry. The guys were having a little game.
DR. SHIRLEY
If you need extra money, next time, ask me.
LIP
It’s more fun winning it.
They reach the Cadillac. Lip opens the back door.
DR. SHIRLEY
What if you lost?
LIP
(smiles)
Craps and cards, I don’t lose, Doc. I don’t lose.
DR. SHIRLEY
And stooping down in the gravel throwing dice for pocket change makes you a winner?
LIP
What are you giving me
shit for?
Everybody was doin’ it.
Shirley eyeballs Lip.
DR. SHIRLEY
They didn’t have a choice whether to be inside or out. You did.
This hits a nerve with Lip.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 39.DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Let’s go. And wipe your knees,
you’ve got dirt on them.
Shirley gets in, pulls the car door shut. Lip, embarrassed, brushes the dirt off his pants.
ESTABLISHING SHOT - MOTEL - OHIO - NIGHTINT. MOTEL ROOM - SAME Modest, dimly lit. Lip sits at a desk, pen poised. He stares
down at a blank piece of paper, takes a breath, starts to write.
LIP (V.O.)
(slow, simple)
Dear Dolores... How are you? I am fine...
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - DAY
Nick and Frankie are eating lunch as Dolores sits, READS:
DOLORES
(reading)
“I’m eating real good--hamburgers
mostly--so don’t worry about me not eating good. We are doing lots of driving around, and we talk a lot in the car. I saw Dr. Shirley tonight play piano. He doesn’t play like a colored guy. He plays like Liberace but better and I ain’t lying. He’s like a genius I think. When I look at him in the rear-view mirror, I can tell he’s always thinking and working stuff out in his head, I guess that’s what geniuses do. But it don’t look fun to be that smart. I miss you very very much, Baby. Love, Tony. P.S.--I told you I can’t write letters,
ha ha! Regards to your father and brother. I’m going to get a haircut tomorrow. P.S.--Kiss Nickie and
Frankie both for me.”
As Dolores smiles, we --
CUT TO:CONTINUED: (2)
40.EXT. HIGHWAY - OHIO - DAY
Shirley’s Cadillac drives along.
INT. CADILLAC - DAY
Lip drives. Next to him, a couple of maps, soda bottles,
empty candy wrappers. Shirley sits comfortably in the back, reading glasses on the edge of his nose, reading Allan Drury’s A Shade of Difference
.
Lip fiddles with the radio, changing stations. Stops on the song Lucille
. Lip turns it up. Shirley takes notice.
DR. SHIRLEY
Who is this?
LIP
What?
DR. SHIRLEY
On the radio.
LIP
Lil’ Richard.
Dr. Shirley listens, surprised.
DR. SHIRLEY
This is Little Richard?
LIP
Yeah, he’s good. Think you could play somethin’ like this, Doc?
DR. SHIRLEY
(of course he could)
I don’t know. Sounds very complicated.
Shirley lowers his book.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
So where did this “Tony the Lip” moniker come from?
LIP
Not Tony the
Lip. Tony Lip--it’s
one word. I got it when I was a kid. My friends said I was the best bullshit artist in the Bronx.
(CONTINUED) 41.Lip smiles into the rear-view mirror.
DR. SHIRLEY
Why are you smiling?
LIP
Huh?
DR. SHIRLEY
You don’t mind that your friends--
the people closest to you--consider you a liar?
LIP
(offended)
I never said liar, I said bullshit artist.
DR. SHIRLEY
What’s the difference?
LIP
I don’t lie. I’m just good at, you know, talking people into doin’ things they don’t wanna do. By bullshittin’ ‘em.
DR. SHIRLEY
And you’re proud of that?
Lip shrugs, smiles.
LIP
Well it got me this job.
CUT TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY - OHIO - DAY - LATER
The Caddy whips by.
INT. CADILLAC - DAY - SAME
Slow
Twistin’ by Chubby Checker plays on the radio. Lip is
looking back at Shirley, annoyed.
LIP
You’re full of shit! You never
hearda Chubby Checker?
DR. SHIRLEY
Of course I’ve heard of him, I just
never heard his music. CONTINUED:
(MORE)
(CONTINUED) 42.But I like this. He’s got a silky
voice... smooth.
LIP
This is what everyone dances to now --
DR. SHIRLEY
Eyes on the road please.
Lip flips the station. Aretha Franklin’s Won’t Be Long PLAYS.
LIP
How about this? You know this song.
DR. SHIRLEY
I don’t think so...
Lip looks back at Dr. Shirley in disbelief.
LIP
How could you not know this music? Chubby Checker, Lil’ Richard, Sam Cooke, Aretha--these are your people!
Shirley wears a strained smile.
CUT TO:
EXT. GAS STATION/NOVELTY SHOP - DAY
Lip and Shirley’s car, followed by Oleg and George’s car,
pull into the gas station and parks. Lip gets out, Shirley waits in the car, window open. Oleg and George also get out of their car, stretch, smoke.
Lip walks to the novelty shop, which has an outside porch
area with multiple displays, knick-knacks, etc. One of the boxes is filled with an assortment of POLISHED STONES of various shapes, sizes, and colors.
Lip goes to the box of stones, picks up a few, checks them
out, puts them back.
Oleg WATCHES AS Lip spot a large JADE-COLORED STONE on the
ground. He picks it up, looks it over... Puts it in his
pocket...ON DR. SHIRLEY’S CAR - MOMENTS LATEROleg speaks to Shirley through the back window. Lip exits the
store, lights a smoke, heads toward Shirley’s Cadillac. Oleg goes back to his car. Lip gets in, starts the car.CONTINUED:
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT'D)
(CONTINUED) 43.DR. SHIRLEY
Before we pull out, Tony, we need
to talk. I just heard something
that disturbed me a great deal. I gave you petty cash.
LIP
Yeah, so?
DR. SHIRLEY
Oleg told me what you did.
LIP
What I do?
DR. SHIRLEY
You stole a jade stone from the
store.
LIP
No I didn’t.
DR. SHIRLEY
He watched you do it.
LIP
I didn’t steal no stone.
DR. SHIRLEY
You picked it up and you put it in your pocket.
LIP
Yeah, I picked a rock up off the ground--I didn’t steal one from the box.
DR. SHIRLEY
Why would you pick up a rock off the ground?
LIP
‘Cause that ain’t stealin’. It’s just a regular rock.
DR. SHIRLEY
(frustrated)
But why would you want
a regular
rock?
LIP
(searching)
I don’t know, just to have. Like for good luck maybe. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 44.DR. SHIRLEY
A lucky rock? Let me see it.
Reluctantly, Lip pulls out the JADE STONE.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
I want you to go back and pay for
it.
Lip is embarrassed, angry.
LIP
I told you that Kraut was a sneak. Rats me out for something I didn’t even do.
DR. SHIRLEY
Pay for the stone, Tony, you’ll feel better.
LIP
I feel fine, and I’m not paying for no regular rock I found in the dirt.
Lip PUTS THE CAR IN DRIVE.
DR. SHIRLEY
Do not
drive, Mr. Vallelonga.
Lip stops, puts it in park. They sit in silence. Finally... Lip gets out, SLAMS the door, storms off. Shirley waits. A few moments later, Lip gets back in the car, throws it into drive.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Feel better?
LIP
No.
DR. SHIRLEY
Tony, if you’d like, I will happily buy you that stone.
LIP
Don’t bother. You took all the fun out of it.
As Shirley’s Cadillac pulls back onto the highway, we go...
ESTABLISHING SHOT - COLLEGE CAMPUS - INDIANA - DAYShirley’s Cadillac pull in front. Lip gets out. CONTINUED: (2)
45.INT. INDIANA COLLEGE CAMPUS - CONCERT HALL - AFTERNOON
The place is empty except for Oleg and George setting up
their instruments on stage. As Lip ENTERS, OLEG starts to PLAY A SONG on the Cello.
Lip goes to a BROKEN DOWN PIANO on the stage. He looks it
over. This can’t be right. He opens the top, inside... GARBAGE... CRUMBLED PAPERS, A COKE BOTTLE, DIRTY NAPKINS...
Lip sees the STAGE MANAGER off to the side of the stage.
LIP
Excuse me... I’m with the band.
STAGE MANAGER
You’re all set up.
LIP
This ain’t the piano, right?
The STAGE MANAGER approaches. This guy’s big, Duke Wayne with
a hammer holster.
STAGE MANAGER
That’s it.
LIP
This isn’t a Steinway...?
STAGE MANAGER
So what?
LIP
Dr. Shirley only plays on Steinway-brand pianos. It’s in his written contract.
STAGE MANAGER
Who’s Dr. Shirley?
LIP
Dr. Shirley--the
Don Shirley Trio ?
STAGE MANAGER
Does it really matter?
LIP
Yes, it does. It’s in his contract.
The Stage Manager rolls his eyes.
(CONTINUED) 46.STAGE MANAGER
Come on, what’s the difference --
these coons can play on anything.
CLOSE ON OLEG AND GEORGE as they stop what they’re doing and take notice.
BACK ON Lip as he looks closely at the filthy piano.
LIP
But there’s garbage in this thing.
STAGE MANAGER
So, take it out.
Lip stiffens.
LIP
What’d you say?
STAGE MANAGER
You heard me.
LIP
Get a clean Steinway in here.
STAGE MANAGER
There’s no Steinway on campus.
LIP
Not my problem.
STAGE MANAGER
I bet there ain’t two Steinways in
the whole state of Indiana.
LIP
Then you better move your ass and start lookin’.
Oleg and George exchange a glance. The Stage Manager puffs up.
STAGE MANAGER
Who you think you’re talking to, greaseball?
Without warning, Lip LASHES OUT with a BRUTAL OPEN-HAND SLAP to the Stage Manager’s ear. The Stage Manager STAGGERS BACK AND SIDEWAYS. He stares at Lip, dazed.
SMASH CUT TO:
THE STEINWAY EMBLEM...CONTINUED:
47.INT. INDIANA COLLEGE CAMPUS - CONCERT HALL - NIGHT
Dr. Shirley’s fingers tinkle the ivories on a Steinway,
performing “HAPPY TALK ” to a sold-out house.
CLOSE ON THE WING OF THE STAGE where Lip is listening to the music, satisfied. The Stage Manager stands a few feet back from him, looking sheepish and a little scared.
DISSOLVE TO:
QUICK MONTAGE AS “HAPPY TALK
” CONTINUES...
-- LIP SITS IN A DINER WRITING A LETTER . SHIRLEY IS ACROSS
FROM HIM, READING A NEWSPAPER.
LIP (V.O.)
“Dear Dolores... This morning I had steak and eggs. For breakfast
.”
-- DOLORES READING THE LETTER AND SMILING .
LIP (V.O.)
“The band has been playing at very ritzy joints. Dr. Shirley and I are getting along pretty good, but sometimes I think he gets depressed and drinks too much.”
-- CLOSE ON DR. SHIRLEY PLAYING AT A HIGH-SOCIETY PARTY ...
LIP (V.O.)
“I never knew how very beautiful this country was. Now that I’m seeing it I know. You wouldn’t believe how beautiful nature is--it is as beautiful as they say. I wish I had a camera and took some pictures, they would be collector’s items, I wish I knew how to describe it to you.”
-- DR. SHIRLEY’S CAR DRIVING ON VARIOUS HIGHWAYS, WITH AMAZING VIEWS OF THE COUNTRYSIDE ... SIGNS FOR NEENAH,
WISCONSIN... MUSCATINE, IOWA... INDIANAPOLIS ... ST. LOUIS...
LIP (V.O.)
“And the traffic out here in the
country is nothing, which is fine by me.” 48.-- BACK IN THE DINER WHERE LIP IS WRITING THE LETTER.
LIP (V.O.)
“Right now I’m eating spaghetti and
meatballs in a diner that tastes like ketchup on Chinese noodles. I miss your cooking...”
-- SHIRLEY LOWERS HIS NEWSPAPER, GLANCES AT LIP’S CHICKEN-SCRATCH PENMANSHIP, SHAKES HIS HEAD .
-- SHIRLEY TRIO PERFORMING FOR SEVERAL HUNDRED PEOPLE ...
LIP
“We are heading down south now... I will write you another letter when we get down south. I love you... Your husband Tony... P.S.--Kiss the kids for me...”
-- DOLORES SITS ALONE IN BED, FINISHES READING THE LETTER .
“HAPPY TALK
” ends.
EXT. KENTUCKY HIGHWAY - DAY
Shirley’s car motors past a “ WELCOME TO KENTUCKY” sign.
INT. CADILLAC - DAYOn the radio, “ WHOLE
LOTTA SHAKIN’ GOING ON ,” Jerry Lee Lewis
attacking the piano.
LIP
Got any family, Doc?
DR. SHIRLEY
Not really.
LIP
Not really ? Either you do or you
don’t.
DR. SHIRLEY
It’s a long story, Tony.
LIP
What, we’re in a rush now?
Shirley takes a BEAT, reluctantly opens up.
(CONTINUED) 49.DR. SHIRLEY
I have a brother somewhere. We used
to get together once in a while...but it got more and more difficult to keep in touch. That’s the curse of being a musician--you’re always on the road, like a carnival worker, or a criminal.
(beat)
It took a toll on my marriage as well.
Lip glances in the rear-view mirror.
LIP
You’re married?
DR. SHIRLEY
Was.
They drive for a moment.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
June was a good person--terrible grammar, but a kind soul. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the constitution to do a husband act as well as a concert pianist act. I couldn’t balance both worlds.
EXT. ROAD - KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN - DAY - LATER
ANGLE ON Kentucky Fried Chicken sign, then we...PAN to the
Caddy approaching.
INT. CADDY - CONTINUOUSLip sits up, excited.
LIP
Kentucky Fried Chicken... in
Kentucky ! When’s that ever gonna
happen?!
EXT. KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN - DAY - CONTINUOUS
The Cadillac pulls into the parking lot.
INT. CADILLAC - DAY - CONTINUOUS
Lip looks over the seat-back.
LIP
What do you want?CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 50.DR. SHIRLEY
I’m fine. Thank you.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. CADILLAC - DAY
They’re back on the road, a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken
in the front seat next to Lip. He wolfs down a chicken leg as
he drives.
LIP
This might be the best Kentucky
Fried Chicken I ever had. But I guess it’s fresher down here, right?
Dr. Shirley shrugs.
DR. SHIRLEY
I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with your appetite.
LIP
No, I bought the bucket so you could have some.
DR. SHIRLEY
I’ve never had fried chicken in my life.
LIP
Who you bullshittin’? You people love the fried chicken, the grits, the colored greens...I love it, too. The negro cooks used to make it when I was in the army.
DR. SHIRLEY
You have a very narrow assessment of me, Tony.
LIP
(pleased)
Yeah, I’m good, right?
DR. SHIRLEY
What? No
. No, you’re not good,
you’re bad . I’m saying, just
because other negro people listen to a certain kind of music doesn’t mean I
have to. Nor do we all have
to eat the same food.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 51.Lip looks at Shirley in the mirror.
LIP (CONT’D
Whoa, wait a minute. If you said
all guineas like pizza and spaghetti and meatballs, I’m not gonna get insulted.
DR. SHIRLEY
You’re missing the point. For you to make the assumption that--
LIP
Doc, you want some or not?
Lip holds up the bucket.
DR. SHIRLEY
No.
Lip takes another big, juicy bite.
LIP
Tell me that don’t smell good?
DR. SHIRLEY
It smells okay, but I don’t want to get grease on my blanket.
LIP
Oooh, I’m gonna get grease on my blankie--have a piece. It ain’t gonna kill ya.
Lip takes a piece of chicken, holds it out to Shirley.
LIP (CONT’D)
Just grab it and eat it!
DR. SHIRLEY
No.
LIP
I’m gonna throw it in the back seat.
DR. SHIRLEY
Don’t you dare!
LIP
Then you better take it.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 52.DR. SHIRLEY
How? Do you even have utensils?
Plates?
LIP
Bah fongool! Eat it with your hands,
that’s how you’re supposed to.
DR. SHIRLEY
I can’t do that.
LIP
I swear I’m gonna throw it!
Shirley reluctantly takes the chicken.
DR. SHIRLEY
I... I really can’t do this.
LIP
Eat the goddamn thing .
Shirley takes a bite. Lip can see he’s enjoying it.
LIP (CONT’D)
What, no good?
Very good.
DR. SHIRLEY
I just... this seems so... so unsanitary.
LIP
‘Gives a shit?! Relax and enjoy it. My father always says, whatever you do, do it hundred percent. When you work, work, when you laugh, laugh, when you eat, eat like it’s your last meal.
Shirley is clearly enjoying the chicken.
LIP (CONT’D)
Want another piece? Have a leg!
Lip hands Shirley a leg.
DR. SHIRLEY
What do we do about the bones?
LIP
We do this.CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 53.Lip throws his bones out the window . After a BEAT, Shirley
rolls down his window and does the same . They smile at one
another for the first time. Then Lip finishes his Coke and
TOSSES THE CUP OUT THE WINDOW. As Shirley loses his smile, we:
CUT TO:
SAME SCENE - MOMENTS LATER
The Caddy is backing up in the breakdown lane. It stops next
to the DISCARDED CUP, Lip’s door opens, he picks it up, and they drive on.
CUT TO:
EXT. DOWNTOWN LOUISVILLE MOTEL - EARLY EVENING
The Caddy pulls up in front of a RUN-DOWN MOTEL with a “FOR
COLORED ONLY” sign. Low-end, one-level on the edge of downtown. Nothing like the upscale hotels they’ve been staying in.
Lip behind the wheel, READING THE GREEN BOOK; Shirley in the
backseat.
LIP
This can’t be it. Says right here...
(points to Green Book)
...cozy as your own home.. . This
place looks like my ass.
DR. SHIRLEY
This is the place.
The guys get out of the car. Lip takes Shirley’s bag out of the trunk.
LIP
If you need anything, I’ll be up the street at the Easton Inn. So...see you tomorrow.
Dr. Shirley takes his bag, walks up the rickety front steps.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. DOWNTOWN LOUISVILLE MOTEL - EVENING - LATER
MUSIC from a transistor radio. BLACK FAMILIES sit at tables
outside the motel. CONTINUED: (3)
(CONTINUED) 54.Shirley, smartly dressed in a DINNER JACKET, sits away from
everyone on the ramshackle porch nursing a glass of CUTTY SARK.
SHIRLEY’S POV - The families are eating, drinking, enjoying
the night. CHILDREN run around, playing games, having fun.
THREE MEN are setting up a game of HORSESHOES in the yard.
One of the MEN calls to Shirley.
MAN #1
Hey, fancy-pants, you wanna play?
DR. SHIRLEY
Um... no, thank you.
MAN #2
Come on, we short a man!
Shirley shifts in his chair, uncomfortable.
DR. SHIRLEY
I... I’d rather not.
MAN #1
What, you too high and mighty?
MAN #3
He’s just afraid of getting that butler uniform all dusty!
The men LAUGH.
DR. SHIRLEY
I’m just... I’m on my way out to meet a friend.
Shirley drains his scotch, stands, and WALKS INTO THE NIGHT .
INT. LIP’S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
CLOSE ON BEDSIDE TABLE where we see a wallet, a pack of
smokes, and, surprisingly, the JADE ROCK that we thought Lip had returned.
PULL BACK to reveal Lip, in boxers, sitting up in bed,
flipping through the GREEN BOOK
.
He puts the book aside a moment, opens a pizza box on the bed beside him. He takes out the ENTIRE UNCUT PIZZA, FOLDS IT IN HALF AND TAKES A BITE.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 55.He goes back to the book. CLOSE ON the cover - Up top it
says Negro Motorist Green Book . Down below reads: “For
vacation without aggravation. ”
LIP
(reading to himself)
Vacation without aggravation... vaffangool.
He flips through the book. CLOSE ON A PAGE - It reads: “Assured Protection for the Negro Traveler .” Below it there’s
an ad for “Gerald’s Restaurant in Buffalo, New York - Delightful Dinners for Particular People -- open 24 hours.”
Lip turns to another page. CLOSE ON PAGE - A photo of Mrs. Ressie Harris, the owner of Quinn’s Hotel - “ The most
fabulous hotel for colored .”
There’s an URGENT KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
GEORGE (O.S.)
Tony, it’s George! Wake up! Hurry up!
Lip gets up, opens the door. It’s George, sweating and out of breath.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
Dr. Shirley’s in trouble.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
George and Lip hustle down the street.
GEORGE
(panicked)
I went out for a drink, I walk into
this bar, and there’s Shirley getting bounced around! I didn’t want to leave him, but I didn’t know what to do!
INT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT
A shit-hole. Drunken REDNECKS surround an EVEN DRUNKER
Shirley. LAUGHING as they shove him, smack him around.
LIP (O.S.)
Get your hands off him!
The Rednecks stop their fun. Bar goes quiet. They turn toward Lip and George. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 56.REDNECK #1
What the good goddamn we got here,
fellas?
LIP
Hand him over, we walk out, won’t be a problem.
REDNECK #1
Already is a problem, Mister.
DR. SHIRLEY
(slurring)
I just came in for a drink.
REDNECK #1
You come in here
for a drink? Then
you must be tired of livin’, boy.
LIP
I told you, hand him over, we’ll leave.
Redneck #2 roughly rubs Dr. Shirly’s head.
REDNECK #2
He ain’t going nowhere, we need this brillo pad to wash them dishes with...
LIP
Hey, do yourself a favor and let him go. Now
.
TENSE BEAT.
REDNECK #1
Say it nice.
LIP
I just said it nice.
The Bumpkins spread out, advance a step. REDNECK #1 pulls out a BUCK KNIFE.
REDNECK #1
This boy’s gonna get what’s coming to him, and you ain’t got no say!
Lip calmly reaches behind his back, under his suit jacket.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 57.LIP
Maybe. But, whatever happens, I’m
gonna put a bullet right in the middle of that thick skull of yours.
BEAT.
REDNECK #2
He ain’t got no gun, Ray. Let’s get him. He’s fulla shit.
REDNECK #3
What if he ain’t?
Redneck #1 tries to read Lip’s face... impossible. Lip can stare down an army.
MAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
Well, I sure ain’t.
ANGLE ON - THE BARKEEP, 60s, holding a shotgun, pointing it directly at Lip and George.
BARKEEP
And I won’t be having none of this come to pass in my place. Let the spook go. I want these Yanks off my property.
After a BEAT, the Rednecks reluctantly open a path for Shirley. Shirley staggers toward Lip and collapses against him. Lip motions for George to exit, then Lip throws Shirley over his shoulder and backs out the door, his eyes peeled for trouble.
EXT. DOWNTOWN LOUISVILLE MOTEL - NIGHT - LATERAn irate Lip walks an inebriated Shirley throught the parking
lot of the motel.
LIP
What the hell’s wrong with you?! You go in there alone
?
An unsteady Shirley leans against a car.
DR. SHIRLEY
(still slurry)
I apologize for putting you in that position, Tony. CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 58.LIP
I don’t understand you, Doc, honest
to God. Why couldn’t you just drink here--you got a whole bottle?
DR. SHIRLEY
I needed some air.
LIP
Air?! Don’t you know where you are?
Shirley looks at him oddly.
DR. SHIRLEY
Does the geography really matter?
LIP
What?
DR. SHIRLEY
If I walked into a bar in your neighborhood, would this conversation be any different?
Lip dodges the question.
LIP
From now on you don’t go nowhere
without me. Nowhere !
DR. SHIRLEY
Tony...Do you really have a gun?
LIP
‘Course not. Now get some rest. You got a big show tomorrow night. Now where’s your room doc?
Shirley points, Lip helps Doc to his room.
CUT TO:
INT. LOUISVILLE CONCERT HALL - NIGHT
Lip stands off to the side as an ALL-WHITE AUDIENCE watches
the Don Shirley Trio give a magnificent performance of their hit, “LULLABY OF
BIRDLAND .” When they finish, the crowd
ERUPTS in a STANDING OVATION.
DR. SHIRLEY
Thank you, Louisville, for your warm hospitality! CONTINUED: 59.EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NORTH CAROLINA - DAY
Shirley’s Cadillac passes a BILLBOARD that reads: “ WELCOME TO
RALEIGH - HOME OF THE N.C. STATE UNIVERSITY WOLFPACK”.INT. CADILLAC - NORTH CAROLINA - DAYLip and Shirley drive along looking through bug-smeared
windows. Miles and miles of SWEET POTATO fields .
LIP
(struggling; slow)
“Betty bought... a bit of buttah... but she found the buttah bittah...”
DR. SHIRLEY
Not buttah
... butter . Say the “er.”
LIP
Er.
DR. SHIRLEY
“So Betty bought a bit of better butter to make the bitter butter better...”
LIP
“So Betty bit a buttah...”
DR. SHIRLEY
Don’t be lazy--enunciate
. “So Betty
bought a bit of better butter ...”
LIP
“So, Betty bit a better buttah--”
this is bullshit.
DR. SHIRLEY
No, you need to start somewhere. Athletes stretch to warm up before an event. A singer does vocal exercises. These drills will strengthen your speech muscles.
WE HEAR A NASTY “PING” FROM THE ENGINE O.S. STEAM rises from
under the hood, splashes against the windshield.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NORTH CAROLINA - DAYThe Caddy pulls over and Lip steps out into the blazing sun.
Heat waves ripple off the scalding asphalt. Lip removes his
jacket, tosses it onto the front seat. He rolls up his
sleeves, lifts the heavy Cadillac hood.
(CONTINUED) 60.Shirley rolls down the back window, observes dozens of BLACK
WORKERS laboring in the sun.
Men, women, children, bent to the waist, filling woven
baskets with sweet potatoes.
Shirley steps out of the Cadillac, walks to the front of the
car where Lip is thigh-deep under the hood.
While Shirley leans on the fender, Lip walks to the trunk,
pulls out a jug of water and a rag. He goes back to the engine, opens the hot radiator cap, pours the water in.
Dr. Shirley wipes the sweat beads off his forehead with his
suit-pocket handkerchief, looks out onto the fields.
One by one the Pickers STAND UP and STARE BACK AT HIM from
BOTH sides of the road. They’ve never seen a black man like
him before.
Lip crawls out from under the hood, wipes his hands with a
cloth. He notices the Pickers staring at Shirley.
Lip SLAMS the hood, gets in the car. Shirley takes a
reflective BEAT... follows.
CUT TO:
ESTABLISHING SHOT - NORTH CAROLINA PLANTATION - LATE DAY
CLOSE ON a stuffed-shirt, MORGAN ANDERSON, 50s, standing on
the veranda.
MORGAN ANDERSON
Ladies and gentlemen, our very special guest from the far north... Don Shirley!
APPLAUSE. PULL BACK TO REVEAL an elite Southern crowd surrounding him. CLASSICAL MUSIC drifts from the stereo inside. BLACK WAITERS carry trays filled with champagne and hors d’oeuvres.
ANGLE ON a wide-eyed Lip standing with Shirley, Oleg, and
George.
MORGAN ANDERSON (CONT’D)
Accompanying Mr. Shirley, the members of his trio...
(reading a small program)
Oleg Malakhov, George Dyer, and his
associate, Tony Vallla... Valleg...Valle...CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 61.Shirley, embarrassed, shoots Lip a vague I-told-you-so look.
Lip shrugs, he’s not helping.
MORGAN ANDERSON (CONT’D)
Valley...loh nja.
Lip smirks as the PARTYGOERS CLAP. Afterwards, Anderson turns
back to Oleg and George.
MORGAN ANDERSON (CONT’D)
Gentlemen, if you don’t mind, I’m going to steal Donnie away for some introductions.
As Anderson walks Shirley into the house, Oleg and George grab glasses of sugared bourbon and mingle. Lip looks around, takes it all in. A WAITER approaches with a tray.
LIP
What’s this?
WAITER
Pimiento-cheese sandwich, sir.
Lip takes one off the tray, tries it.
LIP
Oof
.
Lip SPITS INTO A NAPKIN, plops the BALLED-UP NAPKIN ON THE TRAY.
SMASH CUT:
INT. PLANTATION - DINING ROOM - NIGHT - LATER
Guests sit around an immense dining table. Lip sits between
the Well-Coiffed Woman and an Elderly Woman. Dr. Shirley sits in the seat of honor to the right of Mr. Anderson, at the head of the table.
White-gloved BLACK WAITERS place sterling-silver-covered
platters down the length of the table.
MORGAN ANDERSON
Earlier this week, we asked our help what Mr. Shirley might like for supper. So the boys in the kitchen whipped up a special menu in honor of our guest.
They lift the platter covers, revealing: Corn on the cob,
baked beans, collard greens, grits, and the main course... CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 62.FRIED CHICKEN...
Lip shoots Dr. Shirley a look... See ?
MORGAN ANDERSON (CONT’D)
Don, I do hope you enjoy it! Dig
in, everyone!
Shirley nods and bites his tongue as a Waiter piles fried chicken onto his plate.
WE HEAR THE BEAUTIFUL CHORDS OF “WATER BOY
” as...
INT. NORTH CAROLINA PLANTATION - BALLROOM - LATER THAT NIGHTThe Don Shirley Trio gives a magnificent performance of their
biggest hit. As Shirley finishes the song, the room ERUPTS in APPLAUSE. Dr. Shirley bows.
DR. SHIRLEY
Thank you...thank you. We will
return after a brief intermission.
INT. NORTH CAROLINA PLANTATION - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
Shirley walks down the hall. He sees a bathroom and starts to
ENTER.
MORGAN ANDERSON (O.S.)
Excuse me, Don!
Shirley turns to see Anderson coming down the hall.
MORGAN ANDERSON (CONT’D)
Lovely work in there!
DR. SHIRLEY
Thank you.
MORGAN ANDERSON
Are you looking for the commode?
Here, let me help you.
He leads Shirley to a back door, opens it.
MORGAN ANDERSON (CONT’D)
It’s right out there ‘fore the pines.
Shirley looks out, sees an old OUTHOUSE at the edge of the woods.
DR. SHIRLEY
I’d rather not use that.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 63.MORGAN ANDERSON
Don’t be silly, Don. It looks a lot
worse from the outside.
DR. SHIRLEY
I understand. But I’m not going in there.
There’s an awkward standoff.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
I could go back and use the facilities at my motel, but... that’s going to take at least a half an hour.
Anderson considers this for a BEAT, then gives a friendly smile.
MORGAN ANDERSON
We don’t mind waitin’.
SMASH CUT TO:
QUICK SHOT OF THE CADDY WHIPPING DOWN A COUNTRY ROAD.
INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - SAMEShirley stews in the back seat.
LIP
Why don’t I just pull over--you can
piss in the woods?
DR. SHIRLEY
Animals go in the woods.
LIP
But it’s twenty minutes if we go back to your motel.
DR. SHIRLEY
So let’s just get there so I can go back and finish the show.
LIP
Ayyyy
. See, that’s the difference
between you and me. I’d have zero problem goin’ in the woods.
DR. SHIRLEY
I’m aware.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 64.Lip glances in the mirror.
LIP
Why you sore at me? I don’t make
the rules down here.
DR. SHIRLEY
No? Who does?
Lip gets the subtext.
LIP
Ay are you sayin’ that just ‘cause I’m white and they’re
white?
That’s a very prejudice thing you just said there, a very prejudice thing. I got more in common with the hymies at Second Avenue Deli than I got with these hillbilly pricks down here.
DR. SHIRLEY
Eyes on the road.
LIP
You know, you always say that when you don’t like what I’m saying.
DR. SHIRLEY
Eyes on the road
.
CUT TO:
EXT. NORTH CAROLINA PLANTATION - NIGHT - LATER
Show’s over, GUESTS are departing. As Dr. Shirley accepts
congratulations out on the steps, Lip stands by the Cadillac, smoking with George.
LIP
How does he smile and shake their hands like that? If they tried to pull that outhouse shit with me, I’d piss right on their dining room floor.
GEORGE
Don’t do that...
Oleg hears this, approaches.
OLEG
We have many concert dates left. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 65.LIP
Yeah...?
OLEG
You realize we are contractually
obliged to play them?
LIP
Of course I do. If he don’t play ‘em, I don’t get paid. What’s your point?
Oleg lights a butt.
OLEG
Ugly circumstances are going to happen again... so control yourself.
Lip kicks his cigarette out in the dirt.
LIP
Don’t lecture me, you rat.
OLEG
Dr. Shirley could’ve stayed up north getting rear-end kissed at Park Avenue parties for three times money, but he asked for this.
LIP
Why?
Oleg takes a pull off his cigarette, walks away.
CUT TO:
EXT. STUCKEY’S RESTAURANT - SOUTH CAROLINA - DAY
Lip and Dr. Shirley sit at a table outside. Lip eats potato
chips as he WORKS ON A LETTER. Shirley can see that he’s struggling.
DR. SHIRLEY
What on God’s green earth are you doing?
LIP
A letter.
DR. SHIRLEY
Looks more like a piecemeal ransom note. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 66.Shirley holds his hand out.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
May I?
Lip reluctantly hands him the letter.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
(reading aloud)
“Dear, Dolores--I’m meeting all the
highly leading citizens of the town, people who use big words, all of them, but you know me, I get by, I’m a good bullshitter.”
(to Lip)
Two “t”s in “bullshitter.”
(continues reading)
“As I’m writing this letter, I’m
eating potato chips and I’m starting to get thirsty. I washed my socks last night and dried them on the TV. I should have brung the iron.”
(to Lip)
You know this is pathetic, right?
Lip shrugs, embarrassed.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Tell me what you’re trying to say.
Lip looks up.
LIP
(embarrassed)
I don’t know. Just... you know, how I miss her and shit.
DR. SHIRLEY
Then tell her that
. But try to say
it in a manner that no one has ever said it.
LIP
Shit...
DR. SHIRLEY
And without profanity.
Shirley gives the letter back to Lip, then starts to pace.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 67.DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Put this down. “Dolores, when I
think of you, I’m reminded of the beautiful plains of Iowa.”
Lip stares at him.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Put it down
.
Lip starts to write.
LIP
(repeating)
“When-I-think-of-you-I’m-reminded-
of-the-beautiful...”
Lip looks up.
DR. SHIRLEY
Plains of Iowa.
LIP
What planes?
DR. SHIRLEY
The plains . P-L-A-I-N-S. Those big
fields we saw.
LIP
Oh, those were nice.
(writing)
“...plains of Iowa--which is what
they call big fields around here.”
DR. SHIRLEY
(annoyed)
Tony, no expounding.
Lip looks up, confused.
LIP
No what?
DR. SHIRLEY
Just write what I say.
Shirley keeps pacing as he thinks.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
“The distance between us is
breaking my spirit... My time and experiences without you are meaningless to me.”CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 68.Lip writes feverishly to keep up.
LIP
(repeating)
“...Are meaningless to me.”
Lip starts to write again.
DR. SHIRLEY
Now this... “Falling in love with
you was the easiest thing I have ever done.”
Eyes glued to the page, Lip SCRIBBLES AWAY FURIOUSLY .
LIP
“Falling in love with you was the
easiest thing...”
(looks up, smiling)
This is very fucking romantic.
As Lip continues writing, we go...
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHTDolores sits on the couch reading the letter, the kids asleep
next to her... In her head, she HEARS LIP’S VOICE.
LIP (V.O.)
Nothing matters but you. I am the luckiest man alive, and every moment I am without you, I realize this.
Dolores can barely believe the poetry pouring out of her husband.
LIP (V.O.)
I loved you the day I met you, I love you today...
Dolores is PRACTICALLY IN TEARS and we go...
BACK ON SHIRLEY AS HE FINISHES DICTATING THE WORDS.
DR. SHIRLEY
Is it okay if I say, “P.S., kiss the kids”?
Shirley breaks from his trance.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
A P.S.?CONTINUED: (3)
(CONTINUED) 69.LIP
Yeah, at the end.
DR. SHIRLEY
That’s like clanging a cowbell at
the end of Shostakovich’s 7th.
Lip nods as if he knows what Shirley’s talking about.
LIP
(hopeful)
So it’s okay?
Dr. Shirley can’t say no to the child in front of him.
DR. SHIRLEY
It’s perfect, Tony.
Lip smiles and writes...
CUT TO:
EXT. MACON, GEORGIA - DAY
Lip and Shirley walk down the street. They pass by a MEN’S
CLOTHING STORE and Shirley stops to look in the window .
ANGLE ON STORE WINDOW -- a WHITE MANNEQUIN dons a high-end British-style suit and vest.
LIP
That guy looks just like you, Doc.
DR. SHIRLEY
He does?
LIP
(realizing)
Size-wise.
Shirley studies the suit, considering it.
LIP (CONT’D)
Go in and try it on. What, you
always gotta wear a tux on stage?
Mix it up a little.
INT. MEN’S CLOTHING STORE - DAY - MOMENTS LATER
As Lip and Shirley ENTER, a couple BUSINESSMEN are trying on
suits. A TAILOR approaches Lip.
TAILOR
May I help you, sir?CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 70.LIP
We want to try on that suit in the
window.
TAILOR
Of course.
The Tailor pulls a suit off the rack, hands it to Lip.
TAILOR (CONT’D)
Dressing room’s in the back, sir.
Lip hands Shirley the suit.
DR. SHIRLEY
Thanks. I’ll just be a moment.
LIP
Take your time. I’ll check out some ties for ya.
The Tailor REACTS, follows Shirley toward the dressing room.
TAILOR
Uh, excuse me, you’re not allowed to try that on.
DR. SHIRLEY
I beg your pardon?
The Tailor takes the suit from him.
TAILOR
If you would like to purchase it first, we’ll be happy to tailor it to your needs.
Shirley stares at him a moment, gets it, and heads for the door.
ANGLE ON Lip at the tie rack, watching all this. Frustrated,
he glares at the Tailor and follows Shirley out.
CUT TO:
INT. CAPITOL THEATRE - NIGHT - SAME
The Don Shirley Trio is in top form as they finish playing a
spirited rendition of BLUE SKIES
. The song reaches a
crescendo, the crowd BURST INTO APPLAUSE, and we
CUT TO:CONTINUED: 71.INT. LIP’S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Lip’s in the BATHROOM washing his socks in the sink. WE HEAR
ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS coming from the O.S. TELEVISION. THE PHONE RINGS O.S.
Lip goes to the bed, passing the television. WE SEE black
socks hanging on the rabbit ears antenna and some underwear drying on the vents of the TV. Lip answers the phone.
LIP
Yeah...
EXT. MACON YMCA - NIGHT
Lip enters the YMCA.
INT. MACON YMCA - POOL AREA - MOMENTS LATERLip approaches POLICEMAN #1 standing beside a swimming pool.
LIP
I got a call about Dr. Shirley.
POLICEMAN #1
Come on...
Lip follows the Policeman.
INT. MACON YMCA - LOCKER ROOM/STEAM ROOM - NIGHTPoliceman #1 enters the locker room followed by Lip. Dr. Shirley, BRUISED, is handcuffed, sitting on the floor,
naked (also seen from the side). His skin still wet from the steam room and sweat. Next to him also naked and cuffed to the radiator, is a WHITE MAN.
Policeman #1 walks Lip over to POLICEMAN #2, African
American.
POLICEMAN #1
This is him.
LIP
Can you give the guy a towel, for Chrissakes?
No one moves. Lip grabs a towel off a rack and throws it to Shirley, who covers himself as best he can.
POLICEMAN #2
You a lawyer?
(CONTINUED) 72.LIP
No.
POLICEMAN #2
Well you should call one. We’re
taking your Auntie in.
LIP
For what?
POLICEMAN #1
Manager caught him and the other guy...
The Cop motions to the Caucasian Man in cuffs.
Lip glances over at the dazed and humiliated Shirley.
LIP
Can’t we get the cuffs off him, let
him put his pants on?
POLICEMAN #1
Sure we can
. But we ain’t.
LIP
Look, we’re out of here in the morning, you’ll never see us again. There’s gotta be a way to work this out.
(scrambling)
What if, uh, you let him go, and I give you something to thank you?
BEAT.
POLICEMAN #1
You bribing us?
LIP
No, no... a thank you
.
POLICEMAN #1
What kind of thank you?
LIP
Like... a donation to the police force. To you guys
. Whatever you
want.
(thinks)
You like suits? CONTINUED:
(MORE)
(CONTINUED) 73.I was walking through your nice
town today, I saw a store that was selling suits. Nice suits
.
The cops glance at one another.
LIP (CONT’D)
How about, as a thank you--a donation
--I buy you guys each a
suit? You get dressed up nice, take your wives out to dinner. Guys like you, you deserve it.
The two Policemen glance at each other.
SMASH CUT TO
EXT. MACON YMCA - NIGHT
Shirley trails Lip as they EXIT the YMCA and walk toward the
parking lot. No one speaks. Then...
DR. SHIRLEY
(subdued)
They were wrong for the way they treated me, and you rewarded them.
We see that Shirley’s eye is bruised, his lip slightly swollen.
LIP
I was hired to make sure you get from one show to the next. How I do it shouldn’t matter to you.
DR. SHIRLEY
I just wish you hadn’t paid them off.
LIP
I did what I had to do. You know, if this got out it would kill your career.
DR. SHIRLEY
Okay, Tony, quit your phony altruism and concern for my career.
LIP
What the hell does that mean?CONTINUED: (2)
LIP (CONT'D)
(CONTINUED) 74.DR. SHIRLEY
You were only thinking about
yourself back there, because you
know if I miss a show, it comes out of your
pocket.
LIP
Of course I don’t want you to miss a show, you ungrateful bastard! You think I’m doing this for my health?! Tonight I saved your ass, so show a little appreciation. Besides, I told you never
to go
nowhere without me!
DR. SHIRLEY
(calmly)
I assumed you would want this to be the exception.
Lip gets in the car without opening Shirley’s door. Shirley stands alone a moment, then opens his own door.
CUT TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY - NEXT DAY
The Cadillac drives past a WELCOME TO TENNESSEE sign.
CUT TO:
EXT. PEABODY HOTEL - MEMPHIS - FRONT ENTRANCE - DAYShirley’s Cadillac pulls up. The windows are closed. INT. CADILLAC - DAY - CONTINUOUSLip and Shirley sit for a moment. It’s clear they haven’t
spoken for a while.
LIP
(re: bruises)
Should I try to find you some make-up or somethin’ before the show?
DR. SHIRLEY
I’m fine.
LIP
You sure?
DR. SHIRLEY
I said I’m fine. CONTINUED:
75.EXT. PEABODY HOTEL - DAY - CONTINUOUS
Lip gets out of the car, opens Shirley’s door.
MAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
Tony Lip!
Lip turns to see TWO NEW YORK WISEGUYS standing out front
waiting for their car. The mouth of the group is pug-nosed DOMINIC.
LIP
Dominic. The hell you doin’ here?
WISEGUY #1
Brooklyn sent us down to take care of a few things.
He glances at Shirley, who’s waiting by the hotel entrance.
DOMINIC
(in Italian)
Who’s the eggplant?
CLOSE ON - Shirley, waiting for Lip by the hotel entrance.
LIP (O.S.)
(in Italian)
I’m working for him.
BACK TO LIP AND DOMINIC.
DOMINIC
(in Italian)
What’d you lose a bet?
One of the wiseguys LAUGHS.
DOMINIC (CONT’D)
(in Italian)
What’s wrong with you? You need work, you come to me! I’ll always find work for you. Matter of fact, I can use you this week. Gotta hit a few joints, straighten some people out--you’ll make some real money .
LIP
(in Italian)
I’m making money.
(CONTINUED) 76.DOMINIC
(in Italian)
Whatever he’s paying you, I’ll
double it.
Lip glances at Shirley.
LIP
(in Italian)
This isn’t the place to talk about it.
DOMINIC
(in Italian)
Meet me in the bar at eight o’clock sharp. Forget this guy.
CUT TO:
INT. PEABODY HOTEL - ROOM - NIGHT
A concerned-looking Don Shirley sits in front of the mirror
in his room. He takes make-up from a SMALL KIT and dabs at his lip and bruised cheek.
CUT TO:
INT. PEABODY HOTEL - BAR - NIGHT
Dominic sits at the bar, having a drink. Wiseguy #1 enters,
walks over to Dominic.
WISEGUY #1
I just called his room. He’ll be down in a minute.
INT. PEABODY HOTEL - HALLWAY - NIGHT
Lip comes out of his room, locks his door.
DR. SHIRLEY (O.S.)
Where are you going?
Lip turns to see Shirley behind him in the hallway.
LIP
Oh. Hey. Just... downstairs. For a
drink.
DR. SHIRLEY
(in Italian)
To meet your friend, Dominic ?CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 77.Lip is taken aback.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
(in Italian)
Before you decide whether or not to
take him up on the job offer, I think we should have a word .
Lip realizes that Shirley understood the earlier conversation.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
(in English)
Tony, I think you’re doing a wonderful job.
Lip shrugs, not used to Shirley being so solicitous.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
So I would like to formally offer you the position of my road manager. With the title comes more responsibility and, of course, there will be a raise in pay.
Lip thinks about it.
LIP
No, thanks.
Shirley nods, disappointed.
LIP (CONT’D)
You and me, we agreed on a hundred and twenty-five a week, plus expenses. That’s
our deal. I ain’t
goin’ nowhere, Doc. I’m just goin’ down to tell ‘em.
A surprised Shirley watches Lip walk to the stairway.
DR. SHIRLEY
Tony...
Lip stops, looks to Shirley.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Sorry about last night.
Lip nods.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 78.LIP
Don’t sweat it. I been workin’
nightclubs in the city my whole life...I know it’s a complicated world.
As Lip heads downstairs, WE PUSH IN on Shirley.
CUT TO:
INT. PEABODY HOTEL - LOBBY - LATER THAT NIGHT
Dr. Shirley and Lip sit at a table in the lobby. Shirley
pours them both a drink from a bottle of Cutty Sark.
LIP
So, how’d you learn how to play so good, Doc?
DR. SHIRLEY
My mother. She taught me how to play on an old spinet. Soon as I could walk, we’d travel around the Florida panhandle and I’d put on little shows in parishes and halls. A man who had seen me play arranged for me to study at the Leningrad Conservatory of Music.
LIP
So that’s where they taught you all them songs you play?
DR. SHIRLEY
Actually, I was trained to play classical
music. Brahms, Franz
Liszt, Chopin--it’s all I ever wanted to play.
(smile fades)
But
I was persuaded by my record
company to pursue a career in popular music instead. They told me audiences would never accept a black pianist on the classical stage. Wanted to turn me into just another “colored entertainer.” You know, the guy who smokes while he’s playing, who puts a glass of whisky on the piano and then gets mad when he’s not respected like Arthur Rubinstein. Well, you don’t see Arthur Rubenstein smoking and putting a drink on his
piano. CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 79.LIP
Personally, if you stuck to that
classic stuff I think it would’ve been a big mistake.
DR. SHIRLEY
A mistake
? Performing the music I
trained my entire life to play?
LIP
Trained? What are you, a seal? Anyone can sound like Beethoven or Joe Pan or them other guys you said. But your music, what you
do,
only you can do, and nobody can
train for that.
Shirley thinks about this.
DR. SHIRLEY
Thank you, Tony.
(beat)
But...not everyone can play Chopin...not the way I
can.
CUT TO:
EXT. COUNTRY STORE - DAY
The weather has cooled. Lip sits on a bench SCRIBBLING while
a bundled-up Shirley paces and WAXES POETIC.
DR. SHIRLEY
(dictating)
“...The trees have shed their leafy clothing and the colors have faded to grays and browns, but my heart bursts with reds and blues and greens from the love I hold inside for you...”
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Dolores reads the letter ALOUD to Louie’s wife, Lynn, and
Johnny’s wife, Fran. In the b.g., we see the guys--Grandpas Nicola and Anthony, Louie, Rudy, Johnny--at the kitchen table PLAYING CARDS.
DOLORES
(reading aloud)
“It’s getting colder as we travel,
but the country is still beautiful. CONTINUED:
(MORE)
(CONTINUED) 80.I saw millions of trees, all dusted
with snow, just like out of a fairy-tale...”
Lynn and Fran are enthralled.
LYNN
He’s so
expressive .
Dolores smiles proudly.
DOLORES
“We’ve only a few more shows before
our Christmas concert in Birmingham, Alabama on the 23rd. I will count the hours, minutes, and seconds until you are in my arms. I love and miss you more than I can explain. Tony. P.S.--Kiss the kids.”
CLOSE ON THE GUYS playing cards in the kitchen. They couldn’t help overhearing Dolores.
LOUIE
Gotta admit, Lip’s letters--they’re not bad.
RUDY
Well, it’s in the family. They say we had a great, great, great grandfather helped Da Vinci with the Sixteen Chapel.
JOHNNY
You mean Michelangelo.
RUDY
Right. And that’s a true story, right, Pop?
JOHNNY
What the hell’s that got to do with writin’ letters?
RUDY
I’m just sayin’, we’re an arty family.
Frances yells to John.
FRANCES
John, I want a letter.CONTINUED:
DOLORES (CONT'D)
(CONTINUED) 81.JOHNNY
Yeah, soon as you make a meal...
As the guys CHUCKLE, Shirley’s song “THE LONESOME ROAD ”
begins PLAYING, and we go to...
A MONTAGE OF THE NEXT COUPLE WEEKS...
--Shirley’s Cadillac barrels down a southern highway. The
bare trees along the road show SIGNS OF THE COMING WINTER .
--THE DON SHIRLEY TRIO PERFORMING AT A MEDIUM-SIZE CONCERT
HALL.
--LIP AND SHIRLEY’S CAR STOPPED AT A LIGHT.
A car pulls up next to them. The COUPLE inside, 30s, start to
stir, as they notice that Lip, a white man, is chauffeuring a black man. The couple gawks rudely at them. Lip looks over, smiles, and FLIPS THEM THE BIRD.
DR. SHIRLEY
(admonishing)
Tony...
As they drive off, we ANGLE ON Shirley, who cracks a tiny smile.
--SHIRLEY’S CADILLAC DRIVES THROUGH A RURAL LANDSCAPE DUSTED
WITH SNOW.
--DOLORES AND THE KIDS DECORATE A CHRISTMAS TREE. SHE PLUGS
IT IN, THE TREE LIGHTS UP.
--A MAN IN A WHITE TUXEDO INTRODUCES DON SHIRLEY TO A SMALL
GATHERING.
TUXEDO MAN
Let’s give a fine Louisiana welcome to Don Shirley and the Don Shirley Trio!
The GROUP gives him rousing APPLAUSE.
CUT TO:
EXT. MISSISSIPPI ROAD - NIGHT
Rain pounds the pavement, THUNDER. The Cadillac’s HEADLIGHTS
fight to cut through the darkness.CONTINUED: (2)
82.INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT
THE TORRENTIAL RAIN HAMMERS THE ROOF OF THE CAR. Visibility
is zero, the wipers aren’t helping . Frustrated, Lip wipes the
windshield with his hand.
LIP
Your mother’s ass...
Through the rear window, A PAIR OF HEADLIGHTS. Shirley looks
back. THE CAR FOLLOWS THEM.LIP STEPS ON IT. THE LIGHTS FROM THE TAILING VEHICLE GET
CLOSER AND BRIGHTER, ILLUMINATING THE BACKSEAT.
LIP FLIPS UP THE REAR-VIEW TO CUT THE GLARE .
LIP (CONT’D)
‘Hell’s this guy doin’?
SUDDENLY RED LIGHTS FLASH
.
EXT. MISSISSIPPI ROAD - CONTINUOUS - NIGHTSTEADY RAIN... Shirley’s Cadillac pulls over, stops. The
Highway Patrol Car tucks in close behind them.
TWO HIGHWAY PATROLMEN IN RAIN GEAR exit their cruiser,
approach Shirley’s Cadillac, shine FLASHLIGHTS into it.INT. CADILLAC - CONTINUOUS - NIGHTPATROLMAN #1’s flashlight beams through the driver’s window,
almost blinding Lip. A tap on the window. Lip opens it.
PATROLMAN #1
License and papers?
LIP
Glad to see you guys. I’m a little lost.
Lip hands Patrolman #1 his papers.
ANGLE ON Shirley sitting quietly in the back as PATROLMAN #2,
20s, fresh-faced, shines his flashlight through the window.
PATROLMAN #1
(to Lip)
Step out of the car.
LIP
In the rain? What I do?
(CONTINUED) 83.PATROLMAN #1
Out of the car.
Patrolman #1 opens the door, Lip gets out.
Lip stands in the dark, muddy road, the red police lights
flickering off his drenched face.
PATROLMAN #1 (CONT’D)
Why you on this road?
LIP
I told you, I had to detour and I’m lost. We’re not from around here.
PATROLMAN #1
No, you ain’t. So I’m gonna ask you again... what the hell you doin’ out here?
(glances at Shirley)
And why you driving him?
Patrolman #2 keeps the light shined on Dr. Shirley.
LIP
He’s my boss.
The Patrolmen look at one another.
PATROLMAN #1
He can’t be out here at night. This is a sundown town.
LIP
What’s that mean?
PATROLMAN #1
(to Patrolman #2)
Get him out of the car. Check his I.D.
LIP
Come on, it’s pouring.
The young Patrolman looks to his senior partner.
PATROLMAN #2
I can just get it through the window.
PATROLMAN #1
Get him out the goddamn car!CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 84.Patrolman #2 opens Shirley’s door.
PATROLMAN #2
Out.
Shirley gets out in the rain. Patrolman #1 studies Lip’s
license.
PATROLMAN #1
What’s this last name say?
LIP
Vallelonga.
PATROLMAN #1
‘Hell kind of name is that?
LIP
Italian.
PATROLMAN #1
Oh, now I get it. That’s why you driving this boy around... you half a nigger yourself.
LIP SLAMS PATROLMAN #1 WITH AN UPPERCUT, DROPPING HIM LIKE A STONE.
PATROLMAN #2 PULLS HIS REVOLVER ON LIP .
POLICEMAN #2
(shaking)
Hands in the air, now
!
CUT TO:
INT. MAYERSVILLE, MISSISSIPPI POLICE STATION - NIGHTLip sits on a concrete slab in a small cell. Shirley peers
through the bars out at Patrolmen #1, #2, and the grizzled POLICE CHIEF, 50s.
DR. SHIRLEY
Excuse me!
(no response)
Excuse me, sirs. I quite understand why my associate is being held, but what exactly am I
being charged
with?
Not a glance in his direction.CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 85.DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
You seem like reasonable men--can
you let me out so we might discuss the situation please?
PATROLMAN #1
Put the apple butter away, boy--you ain’t goin’ nowhere no time soon.
Dr. Shirley’s demeanor hardens.
DR. SHIRLEY
You cannot hold me without cause!
PATROLMAN #1
I got cause. ‘Cause
you let the sun
set on your black ass!
The Chief LAUGHS.
DR. SHIRLEY
I want to speak to a lawyer, I want my phone call! This is a flagrant violation of my rights! I demand my phone call immediately!
The younger officer looks to the Chief, uncomfortable.
PATROLMAN #2
He does have...rights.
The Chief glares at him. Finally, the Chief looks at Patrolman #1.
POLICE CHIEF
Give the negra his goddamn call.
Reluctantly, Patrolman #1 goes to the cell, unlocks it, walks Shirley to a side office.
The cop picks up the phone, holds it out to Shirley.
PATROLMAN #1
You know a lawyer? Call him.
As the cop steps away, Shirley pulls a SMALL BLACK BOOK out
of his jacket pocket, flips to a page, DIALS...
SMASH CUT TO:CONTINUED:
86.INT. JAIL CELL - NIGHT - LATER
Lip sits on the floor, stone-faced. Shirley paces the room,
increasingly annoyed.
DR. SHIRLEY
As my mother always said, “What kind of brand new fool are you?!”
Lip doesn’t respond.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Look out there, Tony. Take a good look at the officer you hit.
Lip doesn’t move.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Look at him
.
Lip raises his eyes.
HIS POV - Patrolman #1 is sitting in the bullpen, drinking
coffee, horsing around with the other cops.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
He’s having a grand old time, chatting up his pals, having a nice cup of coffee. And where are you? In here. With me. Who did nothing.
Yet I’m the one who’s paying the
price. I’m the one who’s going to
miss the Birmingham show.
LIP
Hey, I’m losin’ a lot of money,
too, if you don’t play Birmingham.
Shirley steps in front of Lip.
DR. SHIRLEY
So your little temper tantrum...was it worth it?
(beat)
You don’t win with violence, Tony, you win when you maintain your dignity. Dignity always
prevails.
And tonight, because of you, we did not.
The station PHONE RINGS and Patrolman #2 answers.
PATROLMAN #2
Mayersville Po-lice.
(CONTINUED) 87.The young cop STRAIGHTENS UP, color draining from his face.
PATROLMAN #2 (CONT’D)
(into phone)
No, sir. Not me, sir. Yes, sir,
he’s right here, sir.
He holds the phone out to the Chief.
POLICE CHIEF
What?
The rookie is too stunned to speak. Finally, the Chief grabs
the phone.
POLICE CHIEF (CONT’D)
Chief Pratt--who’s this?
(beat)
Bull-oney.
Patrolman #2 waves frantically and the Chief starts to sweat.
He stands, starts to pace.
POLICE CHIEF (CONT’D)
Okay, yes, now I hear it, Governor. I’m sorry. Yes, of course I recognize your voice.
(shrinking)
I-I’m sorry, you sayin’ the boy we got locked up called who
, sir?
(beat)
And he called you ?
The rattled Chief glances at Shirley and Lip--who the hell are these guys? We HEAR the O.S. Governor SCREAMING AT HIM over the phone.
POLICE CHIEF (CONT’D)
But an officer was assaulted in the line of...
(backing down)
No, no, I don’t want no National Guard down here, neither, sir.
(wilting)
Yes, Governor, immediately. And good night to you and the missus.
The Chief hangs up, turns to Patrolman #1.
POLICE CHIEF (CONT’D)
Let ‘em go.
PATROLMAN #1
What?
! CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 88.POLICE CHIEF
Cut ‘em loose, goddamnit!
ANGLE ON SHIRLEY and a STUNNED LIP watching all this.
PATROLMAN #1 (O.S.)
But that dago-wop hit me!
POLICE CHIEF (O.S.)
Now!
BACK ON COPS - Defeated, Patrolman #1 hurries over to the
cell, opens it up. Lip turns to Shirley, amazed.
LIP
Who the hell’d you call?
SMASH CUT TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY - RAINY NIGHT
The Cadillac FLIES PAST a sign reading: “WHITES ONLY WITHIN
CITY LIMITS AFTER DARK.”
INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - SAMELip wears a mad, shit-eating grin as he drives through the
SLASHING RAIN on the way out of town .
LIP
Bobby Kennedy just saved our asses! Maddon...How great is that?!
DR. SHIRLEY
It’s not great--it’s not great at all--it’s humiliating.
Lip glances in the rear-view.
LIP
‘The hell you talking about? We were screwed and now we ain’t.
DR. SHIRLEY
And I just put the Attorney General of the United States in an incredibly awkward position.
LIP
So what? That’s what the guy gets paid for. What else he got to do?
Shirley glares at Lip.CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 89.DR. SHIRLEY
That man and his brother are trying
to change this country--that’s what
else he’s got to do! Now he thinks I’m garbage. Calling from some backwoods swamp jail, asking if he can help attenuate assault charges
...
who does that? Garbage, that’s who.
This stings Lip.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
You shouldn’t have hit him!
LIP
I didn’t like the way he was treating you, making you stand out in the rain.
DR. SHIRLEY
Please
. You hit him because of what
he called you. I’ve had to listen to that kind of talk my entire life, you should be able to take it for one night.
LIP
What, I can’t get mad when he says that stuff ‘cause I’m not black? Christ, I’m blacker than you.
Shirley REACTS to this.
DR. SHIRLEY
You’re blacker than me?
LIP
You don’t know shit about your own people! What they eat, how they talk, how they live--you don’t even know who Lil’ Richard is!
DR. SHIRLEY
So knowing who Little Richard is makes you blacker than me? I wish you could hear yourself sometimes, Tony--you wouldn’t talk as much.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 90.LIP
Bullshit! I know exactly who I am.
I’m the guy who’s lived on the same
block in the same Bronx my entire life, with my mother and father and my brother, and now my wife and kids. That’s it--that’s who I am. I’m the asshole who’s gotta hustle every goddamn day to put food on my table. You? Mr. Big Shot? You travel around the world and live on top of a castle and do concerts for rich people! I live on the streets, you sit on a throne--so yeah, my world is way more blacker than yours!
DR. SHIRLEY
Pull over.
LIP
What?
DR. SHIRLEY
Pull! Over!
LIP
I ain’t pullin’ over!
DR. SHIRLEY
STOP THE CAR
!
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
Lip steers the car to the side of the road. Shirley opens the
door, gets out in the rain.
Lip looks out the window as Dr. Shirley walks down the
drenched, muddy road.
LIP
What are you doin’?!
When Shirley doesn’t stop, Lip gets out, hustles after him.
LIP (CONT’D)
Get back in the car!
Shirley keeps walking. Lip catches up, grabs his arm. Shirley turns, his face drenched... CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 91.DR. SHIRLEY
Yes, I live in a castle! Alone . And
rich white folks let me play piano
for them, because it makes them feel cultured
. But when I walk off
that stage I go right back to being another nigger to them--because that
is their true culture. And I
suffer that slight alone, because I’m not accepted by my own people, because I’m not like them either! So if I’m not black enough, and I’m not white enough, and I’m not man enough, what am I
?!
Tony doesn’t know what to say. They stand in the rain while Shirley tries to compose himself. Lip awkwardly touches Shirley’s shoulder. Shirley turns and walks back to the car, leaving Tony standing alone in the downpour.
INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - LATER
Back on the road, both of them disheveled and wiped out from
the evening. Nobody speaks for a while.
DR. SHIRLEY
I need sleep.
LIP
Okay, I’ll pull over at the next place we see and I’ll sneak you into my room.
DR. SHIRLEY
No. No
. I refuse to stay at an
establishment that doesn’t want me.
LIP
Okay.
Lip picks up the Negro Moterist Green book from the seat next to him.
CUT TO:
EXT. ALABAMA - GREEN BOOK MOTEL - NIGHT
CLOSE ON A COLOREDS ONLY
sign out front of a ramshackle brick
building.
PAN TO the Caddy pulling into the DIRT PARKING LOT full of
puddles and BEAT-UP CARS.CONTINUED: 92.INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT - LATER
Lip lays in a sunken twin bed in his t-shirt and underwear
WRITING A LETTER. Shirley, in silk pajamas, folds his clothes and places them into his suitcase.
DR. SHIRLEY
You realize you’re going to be home before that letter gets there?
LIP
Yeah, I was gonna just bring it with me. Save on stamps.
Shirley rolls his eyes.
DR. SHIRLEY
Give it here, I’ll fix it.
Shirley reaches for the letter, but Lip pulls it away.
LIP
No offense, Doc, but I think I got the hang of it.
For a moment, Shirley’s offended. Then he SNATCHES THE LETTER out of Lip’s hand.
DR. SHIRLEY
(reading)
“Dear Dolores, sometimes you remind me of a house.”
Shirley glances at Lip... what the hell?
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
(reading)
”A house with beautiful lights on it where everyone inside is happy.”
Shirley hands the letter back to Lip.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Yeah, you got it.
Shirley gets in bed, tries to sleep. We hear O.S. cars; occasionally a dog barks in the distance.
LIP
Doc...
DR. SHIRLEY
Yes?
(CONTINUED) 93.LIP
Thanks for helping me with the
letters--you’re really good at writin’ ‘em.
(beat)
Maybe when you get home you should write one to your brother?
DR. SHIRLEY
He knows where I am if he wants to reconnect.
Lip nods. He puts his letter down, turns out the light.
LIP
Don’t wait for him, Doc. This I know...the world’s full of lonely people afraid to make the first move.
Shirley thinks about this, then rolls over.
LIP (CONT’D)
You know, something’s been eating at me the whole trip.
DR. SHIRLEY
Hmmm?
LIP
That Tittsburgh was a real disappointment. I didn’t notice any difference at all.
DR. SHIRLEY
Good night, Tony.
CUT TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
The Caddy motors by on its way to Birmingham.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA - CITY STREETS - EVENINGShirley’s Cadillac drives through the city.CONTINUED:
94.EXT. BIRMINGHAM HOTEL - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
A BANNER across this large wooden hotel reads: “CHRISTMAS
CONCERT TONIGHT -- DON SHIRLEY TRIO”.
THE CADDY PULLS UP FRONT AND PARKS.Lip and Shirley get out. Waiting for them is GRAHAM KINDELL,
40s, blue blazer, pressed slacks, friendly as hell.
GRAHAM KINDELL
(deep southern accent)
Welcome, Mr. Shirley! Graham Kindell, I’m the general manager. So nice to meet y’all!
DR. SHIRLEY
Thank you, Mr. Kindell. This is Tony Vallelonga.
GRAHAM KINDELL
Pleasure, Tony. Right this way.
INT. BIRMINGHAM HOTEL - KITCHEN/DRESSING ROOM - EVENING
Lip and Shirley (carrying his tux) follow the affable Kindell
through the large working kitchen. COOKS, BUSBOYS, DISHWASHERS, ALL BLACK. They continue down several busy hallways to a backstage dressing room.
GRAHAM KINDELL
If you need anything--anything t’all--you let me know.
DR. SHIRLEY
Thank you.
INT. BIRMINGHAM HOTEL - DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Kindell leads Shirley and Lip into the modest room. A small
table, one chair, a mirror.
GRAHAM KINDELL
Here you are. We have about an hour before show time. Any questions?
LIP
Where’s the restaurant?
GRAHAM KINDELL
Continue down the hall, Tony, to the right, across the lobby.
(CONTINUED) 95.Kindell EXITS.
LIP
We’ve got an hour. I’m starving.
DR. SHIRLEY
Go ahead. I’ll meet you there.
INT. BIRMINGHAM HOTEL - DINING ROOM / CONCERT HALL - NIGHT
A cavernous DINING ROOM/HALL. Ornately decorated in red and
green ribbons and wreaths. A twenty-foot Christmas Tree
towers behind the Trio’s instruments onstage. Filling in fast
with well-dressed WHITE CUSTOMERS .
Lip ENTERS, sits at a table.
HIS POV - Across the room, Oleg and George eat dinner, drink
wine. George CALLS OUT:
GEORGE
Tony!
George waves him over. Lip joins them.
LIP
Shirley’ll be here in a minute.
A WAITER approaches.
BIRMINGHAM WAITER
Cocktails, gentlemen?
OLEG
Three shots vodka.
Tony looks at Oleg.
OLEG (CONT’D)
Last show. Cold war over. Time for truce.
Lip nods, smiles. The Waiter leaves to get the drinks.
GEORGE
Is Shirley in his dressing room?
LIP
More like a broom closet. I don’t understand why he puts up with this shit.
Oleg takes a sip of wine, glances at George.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 96.OLEG
Six years ago, 1956, Nat King Cole
was invited to perform at Municipal Auditorium right here in Birmingham. Mr. Cole was very first negro asked to play at a white establishment in this city.
Lip butters a roll, takes a bite.
OLEG (CONT’D)
Soon as Mr. Cole started playing, a group of men attacked him for playing white people’s music. Pulled him off stage and beat him badly.
Lip stops chewing.
OLEG (CONT’D)
You asked once why Dr. Shirley does this? I tell you. Because there is no genius without courage.
The Waiter returns with the drinks. They CLINK glasses, down the shots.
Lip NOTICES Shirley (now in his tux) and the MAITRE D’ having
a conversation at the entrance. Lip walks over.
LIP
What’s the problem?
DR. SHIRLEY
This gentleman’s saying I can’t dine here.
LIP
(to Maitre D’)
No, you don’t understand, this guy’s playing here tonight--he’s the main event.
MAITRE D’
I’m sorry. It’s the policy of the restaurant.
Graham Kindell, the congenial GM, joins them.
GRAHAM KINDELL
Everything all right?CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 97.LIP
No, it’s not all right. Dr.
Shirley’s being told he can’t eat here.
GRAHAM KINDELL
(to Shirley)
I apologize, but these are... long-standing traditions. I’m sure you understand.
DR. SHIRLEY
No. I don’t. In 45 minutes I’ll be entertaining your guests up on that stage, but I can’t eat
here?
Graham Kindell shifts uncomfortably.
LIP
Wait a minute. You’re tellin’ me the bozos in his band, and the shlubs that came to see him play can eat here, but the star can’t?
Customers take notice. It’s getting embarrassing.
GRAHAM KINDELL
I’m afraid not.
Lip looks to the stoic Shirley, then back to Kindell, searching for a compromise.
LIP
Well he’s gotta eat. Can you at least bring him food from the restaurant to his dressing room?
GRAHAM KINDELL
Of course. We’ll be happy to send him anything he would like.
(to Maitre D’)
John, show him a menu.
DR. SHIRLEY
No. I’m not eating in a dressing room.
There’s a brief standoff.CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 98.GRAHAM KINDELL
Okay... if you’d prefer, there’s a
very popular establishment right down the road--the Orange Bird-- they’ll be happy to feed you.
Lip turns to Shirley.
LIP
Food’s probably better there anyway --the dinner rolls here are like rocks. Come on, we can be back in 45 minutes.
When Shirley doesn’t respond, Lip pulls him aside.
LIP (CONT’D)
Doc, it’s the last show. Let’s just get through this and we can go home and get away from all these assholes.
Dr. Shirley thinks about it.
DR. SHIRLEY
No. Not this time. I’m eating in this room or I’m not playing.
Kindell’s frustration grows.
GRAHAM KINDELL
(to Lip)
May I have a word with you?
Lip follows Kindell through a door, into a side parlor.
INT. BIRMINGHAM HOTEL - RESTAURANT - PARLOR - CONTINUOUSKindell tries to pour on the Southern charm.
GRAHAM KINDELL
Mr. Villanueva, you have to talk
sense to Mr. Shirley. Please explain that we’re not insulting him personally, this is just the way things are done down here.
LIP
Yeah, well he ain’t from down here. CONTINUED: (3)
(CONTINUED) 99.GRAHAM KINDELL
Just ask him to be reasonable. I
have 400 guests out there who expect to be entertained tonight.
LIP
And Dr. Shirley expects to eat tonight. Why can’t you just make an exception this one time?
Kindell SIGHS.
GRAHAM KINDELL
Lemme tell you a story. You ever hear of the Boston Celtics basketball club? Those boys came through here a couple years ago on a barnstorming tour. Now, seeing as they were World Champions of the league and all, we was tickled to have ‘em eat here and we rolled out the welcome wagon. So you know what table their big coon ate at that night?
LIP
No.
GRAHAM KINDELL
I don’t either. But it wasn’t one of ours.
Kindell drops the genteel demeanor.
GRAHAM KINDELL (CONT’D)
Now let’s cut the bullshit. Tell me what it’s gonn’ take.
Kindell takes out his wallet.
GRAHAM KINDELL (CONT’D)
Say one hundred dollars and you get your boy to play?
The veins on Lip’s neck rise.
LIP
You think you can buy me?
GRAHAM KINDELL
All do respect, sir, but you wouldn’t be doing a job like this if you couldn’t be bought. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 100.Lip GRABS Kindell by the collar, raises a fist.
DR. SHIRLEY (O.S.)
Stop!
They turn to see Shirley in the doorway. Graham Kindell pulls
away from Lip, fixes his collar.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
It’s all right, Tony. I’ll play... if you want me to.
Graham Kindell SIGHS, clearly relieved. Lip is relieved, too. But only for a moment. Something comes over him. He glances at Kindell, then back at Shirley. Lip finally sees the big picture, and realizes that, for him and Shirley, this is the moment of truth. Then...
LIP
Nah, let’s get the fuck outta here.
CUT TO:
INT. BIRMINGHAM HOTEL - DINING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Lip escorts Shirley through the crowded ballroom toward the
exit with Graham Kindell on their heels in a panic.
GRAHAM KINDELL
Don, don’t do this!
Shirley and Lip keep moving at a brisk pace through the surprised and bewildered crowd.
GRAHAM KINDELL (CONT’D)
We have a contract, and I know you’re the kind of man that honors a contract!
ANGLE ON the BLACK SERVERS watching their boss grovel. They maintain deadpan expressions, but we can see the APPROVAL IN THEIR EYES.
GRAHAM KINDELL (CONT’D)
You got a show to do, mister!
Scattered BOOS and CATCALLS from the diners as the FURIOUS Graham Kindell follows them out the front door...
CUT TO:CONTINUED: (2)
101.INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
They pull onto the street and drive in silence, both in shock
about what just happened. Shirley looks at Lip in the rear-view.
DR. SHIRLEY
You hungry?
CUT TO:
EXT. THE ORANGE BIRD - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING SHOT
INT. THE ORANGE BIRD - NIGHT
This is a Blues Bar/Restaurant. Lip and Shirley ENTER. A
small BAND in the corner--piano, drums and guitar--plays the BLUES. Lip’s the only white guy in here and he doesn’t go unnoticed, especially standing next to Shirley in a tuxedo.
They make their way to the bar, sit. A female BARTENDER gives
Lip the once-over.
ORANGE BIRD BARTENDER
You a cop?
LIP
I look Irish?
She smirks.
ORANGE BIRD BARTENDER
What you want, baby?
DR. SHIRLEY
Two Cutty’s, neat.
Shirley takes out a BIG WAD OF CASH. A couple DRUNKS at the bar take notice.
ORANGE BIRD BARTENDER
Comin’ up.
She grabs a bottle of Cutty, pours the drinks.
DR. SHIRLEY
Whatever your specialty is, we’ll
take it.
She CALLS back toward the kitchen:
ORANGE BIRD BARTENDER
Two orange birds!
SMASH CUT: 102.SAME SCENE - LATER
Lip and Shirley are devouring two barbecue chickens, their
hands and faces covered in orange sauce.
LIP
I like what you did back there,
Doc. You stood up for yourself. It’s like your friend the President says -- “Don’t ask what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for yourself.”
Shirley smiles. The Bartender approaches.
ORANGE BIRD BARTENDER
(to Shirley)
So, darlin’, what you do, all dressed up like that?
He shrugs.
DR. SHIRLEY
Nothing important.
LIP
He’s only the greatest piano player in the world.
She smiles.
ORANGE BIRD BARTENDER
That right? You good?
LIP
Don’t be shy, Doc. Tell her who you are.
ORANGE BIRD BARTENDER
Don’t tell me nothin’--show
me.
Shirley thinks a moment, glances at the BEAT-UP PIANO. He
gets up, walks to the stage, sits at the piano. He notices a
drink on the top of the piano. Shirley takes the drink, puts it on the floor.
SHIRLEY PLACES HIS HANDS ON THE KEYS, TAKES A MOMENT...
And then... Shirley starts to play. This isn’t a catchy jazz
solo or a Christmas ditty. It is, instead, an explosion of sound, the eye-popping machinations of Chopin’s Etude Op. 25 No. 11, one of the most difficult piano solos ever written.
The crowd lower their forks and gaze up in disbelief.
(CONTINUED) 103.ANGLE ON Lip watching this in awe.
Black kitchen workers stop what they’re doing to watch. A
COOK steps out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on his apron.
BACK ON SHIRLEY as he negotiates the eight-finger chord
combinations with the mastery of the maestro that he is.
He builds and builds and builds until his fingers become JUST
A BLUR ON THE KEYS.
Shirley FINISHES, the room is quiet.Then the place ERUPTS IN APPLAUSE!CLOSE ON Lip. He’s as blown away as the audience. Shirley looks toward a stunned Lip and winks.The GUITAR PLAYER, DRUMMER, and SAX join Shirley on the
stage. They start a cool up tempo rockin’ blues number. Shirley effortlessly joins in, taking the music to another level. The entire room begins to PULSATE. The crowd eats it up.
Shirley plays as if Little Richard had taken over his body.
Obviously this man can play anything. A true musical genius.
ANGLE ON Lip as he looks on, really getting into it.BACK ON SHIRLEY, the happiest we’ve seen him.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. THE ORANGE BIRD - PARKING LOT - NIGHT An exhausted Shirley and Lip are dragging themselves across
the parking lot toward the Cadillac.
DR. SHIRLEY
If we leave right now, I think you can make it.
LIP
Make what?
DR. SHIRLEY
Christmas Eve.
Lip stops walking, holds his hand in front of Shirley. Lip reaches behind his back, PULLS OUT A GUN, SHOOTS INTO THE
AIR. CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 104.ON CUE, one of the runks from the bar, knife in hand, jumps
out from BEHIND THE CADDY and SPRINTS OFF, followed by the other drunk. THEY HIGH-TAIL IT OUT OF THERE. Shirley looks to Lip, shocked.
LIP
Don’t ever
flash a wad of cash in a
bar.
As Lip walks to the car...
DR. SHIRLEY
I knew you had a gun!
CUT TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY - MORNING
The Cadillac breezes down the highway in a light rain.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. CADILLAC - DAY - LATER A LIGHT SNOW flicks against the windshield. Lip checks out
the ominous sky.
LIP
This could get bad.
DR. SHIRLEY
Yes, it’s a shame we don’t have something to protect us on our journey.
Dr. Shirley thinks, then SNAPS his fingers.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Why don’t you put your lucky rock up on the dash, Tony?
Lip stares at him in the mirror for a LONG BEAT. Finally, he reaches in his pocket, pulls out the JADE STONE THAT WE THOUGHT HE HAD RETURNED, places it on the dash.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Thank you. I feel safer already.
Lip wears a tiny smile.
LIP
You’re a real prick, you know that? CONTINUED:
105.EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
It’s SNOWING HEAVILY now and conditions have worsened. The
Caddy is one of the only cars on the road.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
The Caddy passes by, BLOWING UP A SHEET OF SNOW.INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - SAMELip squints, trying to focus, WIPERS FLAPPING VIOLENTLY,
visibility awful.
LIP
Doc, my eyes are stingin’, I might need to pull over.
DR. SHIRLEY
Keep going as long as you can,
Tony.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
The lonely Cadillac fights through the NORTHEASTER as
conditions get more and more treacherous.INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - CONTINUOUSA tense-looking Lip struggles to keep the car on the road.
SUDDENLY A BLUR OF RED LIGHTS FILLS THE CAR FROM BEHIND. Lip glances in the mirror.
LIP
Shit...
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The Cadillac pulls over in the slush, a MARYLAND STATE POLICE
CAR right behind it.
INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - CONTINUOUSAn annoyed Lip sits waiting for the Cop. A LIGHT beams through the window. Lip rolls it down,
revealing a MARYLAND STATE TROOPER.
STATE TROOPER
What are you doing out here?
(CONTINUED) 106.LIP
We’re trying to get to New York.
The Trooper flashes his light on Shirley in the backseat.
DR. SHIRLEY
Is there a problem, Officer?
TENSE BEAT, THEN...
STATE TROOPER
Yeah. I noticed your car was
tilting to the left. Looks like your back tire’s flat.
Lip opens the door, glances back at the snowy flat tire.
CUT TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT - MINUTES LATER
The State Trooper DIRECTS TRAFFIC SAFELY AROUND THEM as Lip
jacks up the car in the storm.
CUT TO:
SAME SCENE - LATER
Lip SHUTS THE TRUNK and gets back in the car. The Trooper
approaches his window.
STATE TROOPER
Okay... be careful, gentlemen. Merry Christmas.
This is the first flicker of humanity they’ve experienced in a while. As the Trooper walks away, Lip and Shirley glance at each other, smile.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. CADILLAC - NIGHT
The Caddy drives through a blizzard.INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - CONTINUOUSLip blinks repeatedly as he tries to concentrate on the road.
From the O.S. RADIO, we HEAR:CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 107.NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
“Weather advisory warning this
Christmas Eve, as a major snowstorm
is hitting the eastern seaboard with the severest weather in eastern Pennsylvania, northern New Jersey and the five boroughs. Travelers are advised to stay off the Jersey Turnpike, as well as the bridges and tunnels leading into New York City, due to possible road closures...”
LIP
That’s it. I’m pulling us into the next motel.
DR. SHIRLEY
Keep going, Tony, you can make it.
LIP
I can’t keep my eyes open, Doc--I’m gettin’ hytnotized by the snow. I
think my brain’s gonna explode.
As we PUSH IN on a disappointed Shirley, we...
CUT TO:
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
CLOSE ON - A NEEDLE AS IT DROPS ONTO THE GROOVES OF A
SPINNING ALBUM...
“HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS
” FROM THE FRANK
SINATRA CHRISTMAS ALBUM plays on a record player.
SINATRA (V.O.)
“Have yourself a merry little
Christmas...”
The tiny apartment is filled with CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AROUND THE WINDOWS, A SMALL CHRISTMAS TREE WITH TWINKLING LIGHTS IN THE CORNER.
The dining room table has been moved into the living room to
accommodate all the guests.
Grandpa Anthony, Grandpa Nicola, Rudy, Louie with his wife
Lynn and their baby, Johnny with his wife Fran, their two little DAUGHTERS, and Nick and Frankie.CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 108.Everyone’s in good cheer, talking, drinking wine, eating
appetizers. Dolores is busy putting platters of THE FEAST OF
THE SEVEN FISHES, all fish dishes cooked Italian style, on the
table. Stuffed Calamari, Baked Clams Oreganata, Fried Filet of Sole, Fried Calamari & Shrimp, Linguini with Clams, etc.
KITCHEN - Dolores moves into the kitchen, now alone. She
braces herself on the counter, tries not to cry...EXT. BRONX, NEW YORK STREETS - NIGHTSNOW AND SLEET POUND THE EMPTY STREETS. The snowflakes
reflect red, white, and green from the lights that adorn the
buildings. There’s not a moving vehicle in sight. Then...
IN THE DISTANCE, one lonely set of CAR LIGHTS appears. PUSH
IN SLOWLY, SLOWLY until the lights get closer and we can MAKE OUT that it’s THE CADDY.
INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - CONTINUOUSLip’s STRETCHED OUT in the back seat, SLEEPING. PULL BACK to
reveal DR. SHIRLEY AT THE WHEEL, FOCUSING INTENTLY. We can HEAR the O.S. SOUND of the CADILLAC’S WHEELS SPINNING
as Shirley negotiates the slippery streets.INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT - MOMENTS LATERLip still sleeping in the back seat. He’s jolted awake by
someone BANGING on the window.
DR. SHIRLEY (O.S.)
Tony, wake up!
THE SNOW CONTINUES TO FALL.. . The Caddy is parked in front of
Lip’s apartment building. Shirley stands on the sidewalk, Lip’s bag on the ground beside him. Shirley opens the back door. Lip looks up, groggy. He realizes he’s home.
LIP
What... Doc, whadja’ do?
Shirley helps Lip climb out of the car. He hands Tony his suitcase.
DR. SHIRLEY
You’re home. Go inside.
LIP
Doc, why don’t you come up, meet my family...?CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 109.DR. SHIRLEY
Merry Christmas, Tony.
Shirley gets in the car. Lip’s stunned, this can’t be how it
ends.
LIP
Doc, wait up! Hey...
Lip watches as the car drives off, the tail-lights of the Caddy disappearing into the snowy night.
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHTJimmy Roselli’s “BUON
NATALE (MEANS MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU) ”
PLAYS on the stereo. Dinner is winding down. Everyone at the
table is stuffed and having a festive time, except...
Dolores, who fights the good fight for her guests. THE KITCHEN - Dolores comes in, starts putting dirty plates
in the sink... She HEARS A COMMOTION coming from the living room...
THE LIVING ROOM - Everyone jumps up from their seats as LIP
ENTERS, brushing snow off his coat, singing an Italian song.
JOHNNY
Hey, look who it is--Shakespeare’s home!
The kids run into their father’s arms. Everyone crowds around Lip, hugging, kissing...
Dolores enters from the kitchen, stands watching... Dolores and Lip gaze at each other... She moves to him, wraps
her arms around his neck, they kiss. The family breaks into applause.
DOLORES
You hungry?
LIP
You kiddin’? I’m starving.
They all laugh, sit at the table.
CUT TO:
ESTABLISHING SHOT - CARNEGIE HALL - NIGHT
We can barely see the building through the snowfall.CONTINUED:
110.INT. SHIRLEY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT - MOMENTS LATER
Shirley ENTERS his apartment, followed by his valet, Amit,
who carries Shirley’s luggage.
AMIT
Welcome home, Dr. Shirley.
DR. SHIRLEY
Thank you, Amit.
AMIT
I turned down your bed, sir. Will you be needing anything else?
DR. SHIRLEY
No, thank you. Go home to your family.
AMIT
Thank you, Doctor. Merry Christmas.
Amit EXITS. Suddenly SHIRLEY IS ALL ALONE. He glances around his apartment at the throne, the elephant tusks, all his possessions. The room is quiet.
Dr. Shirley reaches in his pocket, takes out the JADE STONE.
He PLACES IT ON HIS MANTEL, next to some other artifacts.
CUT TO:
INT. LIP’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Lip and the entire family are at the table. Lip has an over-
stuffed cannoli in front of him while everyone else is picking away at a large assortment of desserts. Everyone’s talking except for Lip, who seems happy but distant.
JOHNNY
Tony, s’matter with you? You haven’t said a word.
LIP
Yeah, sorry, just tired. Long trip.
(under breath, to Johnny)
You take care of that thing?
JOHNNY
Yeah, yeah.
He pulls something out of his pocket and hands it to Lip UNDER THE TABLE.
(CONTINUED) 111.ANGLE UNDER THE TABLE - we see that it’s Tony’s WRISTWATCH.
Lip puts the watch on.
LIP
Thanks.
JOHNNY
You owe me seventy-five bucks.
Lip REACTS.
LIP
Charlie said sixty .
JOHNNY
What, I’m doing this for nothin’?
Lip shoots Johnny a look.
LOUIE
Hey, Lip, tell us about the trip.
RUDY
Yeah. So how was he, the tootsune?
He get on your nerves?
Lip shoots him a look.
LIP
Don’t call him that.
Rudy’s taken aback. Embarassed.
RUDY
Okay...
ANGLE ON DOLORES watching this. She looks surprised by Lip’s
reaction to the slur. A pleasant surprise. The family’s surprised too. Everyone’s quiet. Dolores changes the subject.
DOLORES
Tony, you should’ve seen the day last week when Frankie grabbed onto the TV and climbed up on it! I took a picture...
FRAN
Are you nuts, Dee? With all those tubes back there, and the cord--he could’ve got electrocuted!CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED) 112.JOHNNY
You’re thinkin’ of toasters. No
one’s gettin’ electrocuted from a TV.
As everyone starts to ARGUE about toasters and TVs, there’s a KNOCK ON THE DOOR. Lip gets up, goes to the door. He opens it, REACTS.
Charlie from the pawn shop stands in the doorway with his
wife, Marie.
LIP
Charlie!
PAWN GUY
Hey, Lip. Johnny invited me.
LIP
Come on in.
PAWN GUY
You remember Marie.
LIP
Hi, Marie, Merry Christmas.
Johnny gets up from the table, greets Charlie and Marie.
JOHNNY
Charlie, you came? I was kidding? And you brought the wife, too?
He takes them to the table.
JOHNNY (CONT’D)
Hey, everybody, Charlie from the pawn shop. Can you believe it? Christmas, he didn’t bring nothing! Charlie, I’m kidding, sit down...
Lip turns to shut the door and sees - Dr. Shirley, standing in the doorway, holding A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE, looking unsure.
Tony Lip smiles and hugs him, walks him in. Lip turns to his
family, excited.
LIP
Everyone, this is Dr. Donald Shirley!CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED) 113.DR. SHIRLEY
Merry Christmas.
REVERSE ANGLE reveals Johnny, Nicola, Rudy, Louie, Anthony,
everyone... watching them, STUNNED AND SPEECHLESS. No one budges. Shirley smiles nervously. LONG BEAT. Then finally Johnny stands.
JOHNNY
Well, come on, make some room! Get the man a plate!
Dolores approaches Shirley.
DR. SHIRLEY
You must be Dolores.
She smiles and he hands her the champagne.
DR. SHIRLEY (CONT’D)
Buon Natale. Thank you for sharing
your husband with me.
Lip smiles. Dolores hugs Shirley and WHISPERS in his ear...
DOLORES
And thank you
for helping with the
letters.
Shirley, surprised, laughs.
CLOSE ON DOLORES - She smiles, and we --
CUT TO BLACK.
THE END
EPILOGUE
Dr. Donald Shirley continued to tour, compose, and record. He
was awarded the Isaac Stern Medallion, and was the only other Carnegie studio resident, besides Leonard Bernstein, who performed annually at Carnegie Hall.
During his prolific career, he composed three symphonies, two
piano concerti, a cello concerto, three string quartets, a one-act opera, a symphonic tone poem based on Finnegan's
Wake, and a set of "Variations" on the legend of Orpheus in
the Underworld .CONTINUED: (3)
(CONTINUED) 114.Frank “Tony Lip” Vallelonga went back to his job at the
Copacabana, eventually becoming Maitre’ D, until its closing in 1973.
It was at the Copa where he met Francis Ford Coppola, who
cast him in a small role in The Godfather
. This led to an
impressive acting career, including roles in Raging Bull , The
Pope Of Greenwich Village , Donnie Brasco, and Goodfellas .
Lip is best known for his portrayal of New York crime boss Carmine Lupertazzi in the HBO series The Sopranos
.
Tony Lip and Dr. Shirley would remain lifelong friends until their deaths within months of each other in 2013.CONTINUED: (4) 115. | screenplays |
Dragon Age 1. First Impressions
_A number of scenes involving Sabhya and Blossom have been in my mind ever since they first appeared in 'Manners' & 'Recreation,' and I finally decided to go ahead and write them up as a collection of drabbles & vignettes. In the highly unlikely event I ever settle in to write an actual story with, you know, Chapters and Length I can always patch these in at that time. Meanwhile this keeps the Muse fed. _
_Dragon Age belongs to BioWare. [kowtows to the overlords]_
**1. First Impressions**
.o0o
Teagan rubbed his face as he watched the people of Redcliffe drift away from the Chantry steps, feeling the weight of the long night dragging at every muscle.
"How is it with you, Ser?" The Warden Sabhya spoke quietly. Teagan dropped his hand and smiled down at the little mage.
"Better than in many a night, and I thank you." He looked out across the village square, breathing deeply despite the pall of smoke and carnage. "We owe you and your companions more than we can ever repay."
As he waved off the Warden's deprecating protest, his gaze fell upon a massive shape enthusiastically worrying the remains of one of their late demonic undead adversaries.
"That must be your war-dog, yes? I've overheard numerous awestruck comments from the militia about the Warden's Mabari." The mage's face lit up.
"How very kind. Would you like to meet him?" When the Bann assented, Sabhya turned with a murmured, "Mind your ears, please," and, tightening his lips, whistled an astonishingly piercing blast.
The dog's head shot up in response, ripping off the corpse's leg in the process. He trotted toward the Chantry steps where his master and Teagan stood, absently bringing his prize along with the foot bouncing in the dust as though kicking in protest at the undignified treatment. The noble's eyes widened as the animal approached to sit alertly before them.
In a breed famous for size and power, this dog was simply monstrous. Next to the Warden, who barely topped 5', he looked like a pony. Assuming ponies would ever be gripping dismembered body parts in their jaws.
Moreover, despite Teagan's Mabari-mad Ferelden noble's bias, this was frankly the _ugliest_ dog he had ever seen in his life. The coat, a muddy brindle overlaid with a network of white scars, grew randomly in every direction, the resulting patchy grain having the appearance of an overused, moth-eaten doormat. The tail was easily double the standard length, and actually seemed to be thicker at the tip than the base: a club rather than the proper stub. The jaw was under slung, the upper lip rubbed bald where a fang customarily protruded. Either from birth or from injury one ear was deformed so that it was half the size of the other, and it was difficult to discern between wrinkles and scars on the face. Indeed, it was a testament to the dog's toughness that he had survived what were clearly some horrendous injuries, but still...he looked like a fist with eyes and teeth. And those eyes...One was a baleful yellow; the other blue. Not the stylish china blue Teagan had seen in some wolf hybrids, but a milky grey-blue that put one in mind of cataracts and corpses.
"My friend," Sabhya was addressing his dog, "this is Bann Teagan Guerrin." The Mabari glanced at him and back at the mage. "Ser, this is my dear friend Blossom." Teagan's eyebrows shot up and he turned with incredulous amusement to the Warden.
"Blossom?"
"Blossom," Sabhya confirmed, stroking the animal's head and smiling affectionately at his friend. The undead's boot, accompanied by a significant amount of decomposed flesh, slid off the leg with a slurping noise.
Shaking his head with a grin, Teagan turned back to meet the dog's unblinking stare. His grin froze.
Blossom held his gaze and, with no apparent effort, slowly bit completely through the leather clad femur in his mouth. The ends dropped with a thump and a splat, respectively.
Teagan swallowed.
So did Blossom.
Then he broke into a big, doggie grin and made a dart at Sabhya's face, thumping his clubbed tail and uttering a noise somewhere between a sneeze and a smoker's cough.
"Er. Take-" Teagan paused and cleared his throat to ensure he would not sound quite so much like a six year old girl. "Take some time." Much better. "When you're ready, meet me at the windmill. We have much to discuss."
Acknowledging the Warden's thanks and courteous farewell, Teagan strode up the hill, musing as he went.
"And whatever is in the castle thinks _it_ commands demons..."
2. I'll Have a Word
**2. I'll Have a Word**
**.o0o.**
"Again with the drool?" Zevran folded his arms and regarded Blossom in mild exasperation. "We have discussed this before, have we not?"
Ignoring his interrogator, the Mabari sat and began scratching inside his ear.
"Has Blossom been getting into your pack?" Sabhya looked reproachfully at the dog who guiltily avoided his gaze by suddenly becoming intensely interested in the ear-gleanings on his claw.
"Mm. As I have said, it is not so much the break-in itself. As a professional I can appreciate the effort. It is, however, disconcerting to find my leathers looking as though the entire local population of gastropoda have been dancing _La Muñeira_ on them all night."
"I do apologize."
"No, no," Zevran waved carelessly. "It is of no matter." His eyes gleamed. "What a sad waste of material, though. I can think of much more interesting uses for copious amounts of saliva." He leaned toward the mage. "I would be happy to demonstrate," he purred.
"I'm sure Blossom would be delighted," Sabhya murmured back.
Zevran sighed.
"You are a cruel, cruel man, Warden."
Sabhya chuckled and patted his thigh for Blossom to follow.
"Be that as it may, I'll have a word with him."
**.o0o. **
"Ooo! Who's a good boy? Who's a hands- err. What a good boy! Come here, you good boy! Oh, you good boy, you good...good sweet Andraste, what have you been rolling in? No! Get back! Get ba- were you _eating_ it? – No! Back! I – urrlp!"
Sabhya stood and turned in concern as the bard rushed past with her hands clasped over her mouth.
"Leliana?"
Hurrying after, he caught up in time to hold her hair as she retched into a bush.
"I'm sorry," she moaned. "I know it's ...dogs...but- ohh," She gagged again.
Across the camp Blossom was heading for Morrigan's fire, only to make an abrupt right angle turn when the witch fired an ice bolt in his path.
Sabhya pulled an immaculate white handkerchief from his sleeve and helped Leliana wipe her face.
"It's all right," he said soothingly, "I'll have a word with him."
**.o0o.**
"No, I don't want to play. I'm tired and I'm hungry. Move, will you? I'm not going to throw that for you. Go pester Sten. I said no, I won't throw it. Will you move? I said-Argh! My _foot!_ You broke my _foot_! Sabhyaaa!"
"Alistair, what-! Here, sit down, please! What happened?"
"Your _dog_ threw his _rock_ on my _foot_! Seriously, what kind of animal thinks a five-pound chunk of granite is a toy?"
Blossom had recovered the rock and was meditatively juggling it with a faint clopping noise, tongue hanging out one side of his outstretched jaws. Sabhya's lips twitched and he reached for Alistair's injured foot, silver-blue mana pooling in his palm.
"You know he did it on purpose," Alistair grumbled.
"I'll have a word with him."
**.o0o.**
Sabhya was brushing the Mabari at a slight remove from the camp, downwind to avoid disturbing the others with the resulting cloud of short coarse hairs, while Blossom groaned and smacked his lips with pleasure.
"Blossom, about the rabbits in last night's dinner."
_Ngorm-wom-rom-ngom._
"Leliana and Morrigan each caught two, but when I was ready to add them to the pot there were only three."
_Awoom-mwom-ngom._
"No one else noticed, I believe, since it was a stew, but really, my friend, if you want more food I'll provide for you. You don't need to steal it."
_Hhrmm-ngom-rom-wom._
An outraged shout cut across the evening peace. Mage and dog looked up, then at each other. Sabhya sat back on his heels.
"You didn't."
_Whff._
"Not again. After the last time..."
"Warden!"
Blossom shook himself and departed, his casual demeanor belied by his increasing rate of acceleration. Sabhya sighed then stood as Morrigan approached in stony silence. She raised a finger to forestall his courteous greeting, held out her pack at arm's length and deliberately turned it over. The rabbit carcass, more than a little ripe after the day's hike, fell to the ground with a muffled plop.
Sabhya held out his hands in placation.
"Believe me; I'll have a word with him."
**.o0o.**
On his way back from a discreet visit to the privy pit, Sabhya tensed at the sound of something crashing toward him through the bushes, gathering frosty mist to his hands. Blossom burst into view and raced over, dropping what he was carrying and pressing himself against the back of the mage's legs.
There being no sign of immediate pursuit, Sabhya flicked the spell away and regarded the dog in concern.
"Blossom? What is it?" The Mabari whined and rearranged himself behind Sabhya, nearly knocking the man off his feet. "My friend, I- take care, please." His foot struck something that rolled slightly, and he bent to study it.
"A staff?" He picked it up. "This is Wynne's staff."
Realization dawned.
"She's been talking about turning you purple or giving you antlers, again, hasn't she?" Blossom whimpered and pressed his head into Sabhya's stomach. "She's only teasing. Never fear, my friend." He put his arm around the dog's neck, rubbing under his jaw comfortingly.
"I'll have a word with her."
3. Due Reverence
_This was inspired by a couple of reviews and PMs (I tease because I love, my dears), and then Blossom grabbed it and ran._
**3. Due Reverence**
**.o0o.**
Leliana perched on a boulder warmed in the weak afternoon sun and checked her bow for signs of wear. The Wardens, accompanied by the dog, Zevran and Morrigan had gone to the nearby hamlet's Chantry to check the notice board and restock; Reverend Mother Hecuba's apiary and herbarium were of some local renown and the witch insisted upon selecting ingredients for her potions herself. Leliana hoped Morrigan would keep her acerbic comments to a minimum, as Mother Hecuba was known to be something of a martinet herself.
Dry leaves crackled and the bard looked up to see Blossom approaching. He ignored her greeting and stalked past, the very image of offended canine dignity. Puzzled, she watched as he made a beeline to Sten and sat, ramrod straight, with his back to the camp. She turned her gaze back down the trail.
The Wardens were in the lead; Alistair walked stiffly, face scarlet, and even Sabhya's customary serenity seemed ruffled. Behind them ... Leliana blinked. Behind them Zevran and Morrigan were laughing hysterically, staggering along in a camaraderie so uncharacteristic that she pinched herself to be sure she wasn't dreaming.
Ow. All right, then. She hopped off the boulder and went to meet them.
"What happened? What's going on?" Alistair and Sabhya glanced at each other. Leliana folded her arms. "Oh, please. Surely you aren't going to pretend all this," she indicated the cackling assassin and apostate, "is normal. And why is Blossom in a huff?"
Sabhya looked ruefully toward the Mabari and sighed.
"We were making conversation with Mother Hecuba while Morrigan and Zevran were looking over the herb stock, and she unaccountably persisted in thinking Blossom was a female."
"It's your own fault," cut in Alistair. "Calling him a girly name like that. If you had named him 'Fang' or 'Butch' this would never be an issue."
Sabhya turned his palm over in an indeterminate gesture, unwilling to debate an old discussion that clearly lead nowhere.
"Perhaps," he said diplomatically, "but surely you agree that when the only pronouns I use in reference to Blossom are 'he,' his,' and 'him' his gender shouldn't be in question?"
"Not...not to an autocratic Chantry stick who only hears what supports her own ignorant view," gasped Morrigan, struggling to regain her equanimity.
"How do you do, Pot, my name is Kettle," muttered Alistair under his breath.
"I heard that."
"People," said Sabhya in mild reproof.
"Why didn't you just tell her she was wrong?" Leliana asked, having a good notion what the little mage would say but determined to keep the story on track.
"I couldn't be so discourteous as to flatly contradict her in front of everyone like that," he said in surprise. Yes, she thought so. "Moreover, it would have been terribly embarrassing for her."
For some reason, this elicited renewed howls of laughter from Zevran and Morrigan, the elf bending over with his hands on his knees and Morrigan leaning on her staff, keening and pressing a hand to the stitch in her side. Alistair flushed a brighter red and Sabhya briefly shut his eyes as if asking for strength.
This was becoming surreal. Leliana surreptitiously pinched herself again. Ow.
"So what happened?" she persisted, burning with curiosity while in the back of her head the professional in her was taking notes on ways to string along an audience. Or not.
"Blossom started getting upset. Every time Mother Hecuba referred to him as 'she,' he'd yip, or growl, or whine." Sabhya paused, distressed to have let down his friend. Alistair picked up the narrative.
"Finally, Mother Hecuba said something like, 'She's a chatty girl, isn't she?' and Blossom got up, turned around and kowtowed. With his tail up. So she could see his, er, his everything."
Leliana realized her mouth was hanging open and she shut it with a pop.
"He _mooned_ her?"
"Really, if you think about it," Sabhya protested weakly, "it was quite a scientific way of addressing the misunderstanding."
"Sabhya. Your dog. Mooned. A Reverend Mother."
Cornered, the mage admitted defeat. "In a word," he sighed, "yes."
"And yet even that didn't work," mused Alistair.
"You what?"
"She thought Blossom was genuflecting to the statue of Andraste, and was so inspired she launched into an impromptu sermon on the spot. When she reached the line about our four-legged sisters, Blossom went over and did what boy dogs do."
"He..."
"He lifted his leg."
Leliana reeled in horror.
"He urinated on the image of Holy Andraste?" she choked, aghast.
"No, not at all, my dear," put in Zevran, smirking as he straightened and wiped his eyes. "But let us hope that the Reverend Mother has recourse to a competent laundry service."
4. Better to Give
**4. Better To Give**
**.o0o.**
Sabhya delighted in giving gifts to his companions. Unsurprisingly for a man of such unfailing courtesy, when people spoke he invariably gave them his full attention; afterwards he remembered both what was said and - perhaps more importantly – what was left unsaid to draw deeply insightful conclusions about those around him. This had been a survival tactic his entire life: taught by Padre, fostered by his amah, honed throughout the years before and within the Circle and now as second nature as drawing breath.
As to the gifts, something would catch the mage's eye and strike a chord, that _this_ would surely have meaning for his fellow. A figurine for Alistair's collection ("They are _not _toys!"), tiny companions without fear of loss; the enduring beauty of jewelry for haughty Morrigan, ever protecting herself with harsh words and isolation; art with masterful brushwork for the philosophical Sten, the Qunari's world painted in lines as fine as any cameo; a pair of dainty, frivolous shoes for Leliana, nostalgic for a time at once both simpler and more complex than the present. (Two pairs of shoes, in fact, the second set accompanied by a stern admonition to Blossom that blue satin shoes, however appetizing, were under no circumstances to be considered a late-night snack.) It may have been his own sense of isolation or simply his inherent kindly nature, but seeing the recipients' appreciation, feeling he had touched them, never failed to give Sabhya as much pleasure as if they had given him a gift in return.
**.o0o.**
Blossom delighted in bringing gifts to Sabhya. Unsurprisingly for a dog bred with such aggressive intelligence, he thoroughly explored every area they visited and customarily returned with a remarkable variety of things ranging from clutter to the sublime. Frequently he brought utilitarian items such as branches of elfroot or deathroot, even health potions which Sabhya could only hope had not been needed elsewhere. Blossom once dropped a stone at his mage's feet, and, prompted by some impulse to take a closer look before throwing it for the dog, Sabhya discovered he was holding a high quality sapphire. On the outskirts of doomed Lothering the Mabari brought Sabhya a twisted root brimming with a surprising amount of power; the mage converted it to a staff and later presented it to Morrigan. Just inside the same town, Blossom had shown up with his face covered in mud from a recent excavation and proudly relinquished the prize he carried, a dirt encrusted bottle of vintage cognac. Sabhya still carried it in anticipation of finding exactly the right occasion to sample the exquisite spirit.
At the other end of the spectrum, Sabhya gravely thanked Blossom for a cake he brought and requested assistance in consuming it, having just finished supper. Blossom graciously inhaled the drool-soaked confection. And on one memorable occasion Sabhya was bemused to be presented with a dainty pair of silken pantaloons, which prompted Oghren's and Zevran's simultaneous suggestion that Blossom fetch the garment's former occupant. At Blossom's thoughtful look, Alistair hastily leaped to distract the Mabari with a thrown stick.
**.o0o.**
In the Denerim marketplace, Blossom had purposefully trotted away, followed by Sabhya's mildly fatalistic call of "Try not to frighten anyone, please." The mage's attention was then diverted by the conversation between Oghren and the merchant Gorim – the atmosphere between the two dwarves seemed equal parts hackle-raised tomcats and long-lost fraternity brothers, and Sabhya prepared himself to make peace should the former attitude prevail. Needlessly, as it turned out, and Gorim proved to be a wealth of useful information.
"Um, Sabhya..."
"Yes, Alistair?" Sabhya turned and followed the younger man's gaze. Evidently Blossom had brought him...
He blinked.
A small child was happily clutching the dog's tail with both hands. Blossom kowtowed and yawned excitedly at Sabhya with the sound of a rusty hinge practicing chromatic scales. Releasing his grip, the child pointed at Blossom and announced, "Puppy!" before smiling beatifically and thrusting two grubby fingers in his mouth.
Accompanied by the flood of incoherent cooing hiccups this elicited from Leliana, Sabhya's mind spun.
"Er...thank you, my friend. But, are you certain this is wise?" Blossom tilted his head questioningly. "We're constantly battling darkspawn, bandits and any array of foes," the mage explained gently. "The little one is unlikely to stay safe."
Blossom rumbled disconsolately and sighed. Sabhya stroked his head.
"Thank you for understanding. Shall we take him back home?" He looked to where the bard was now sitting in the dirt playing peek-a-boo with the toddler. "I'm sure Leliana will want to accompany us."
The Mabari sighed again and shook himself vigorously.
"Hey!"
Handing Alistair a handkerchief to wipe off the drool spatter – wondering in passing just how the dog managed every time to target solely the ex-Templar – Sabhya suggested he and Oghren wait for them in the Gnawed Noble, collected his charges and set off with Blossom leading the way.
Alistair scrubbed at his face.
"Blossom probably wanted Sabhya to throw the kid," he muttered sourly to Oghren.
"Uh-huh."
5. Boundaries
_Many, many thanks to Nightsfury for suggesting a Blossom's-eye view of Greagoir. _
**5. Boundaries**
**.o0o.**
His Sabhya was distressed. The others in the pack were as clueless as ever, save perhaps the elf, but he could tell that his mage grew unhappier with every step that brought them closer to the vile lake in the distance ahead. Until he could identify and eliminate the threat to his mage's peace, though, all he could do was stick close and offer up an enticing rock every so often.
He followed when his Sabhya withdrew slightly from the group during a rest break and sat before him with furrowed brow. After a moment he raised a paw and pushed at the man's knee with a breathy whine. His Sabhya finally looked at him and smiled faintly.
"Am I worrying you, my friend?" Long fingers passed across his head. "Forgive me, please. I'm fine. I'm just..." The smile dimmed. "The thought of returning to the Tower...disturbs me. Far more than I had anticipated." Fingers stilled, his Sabhya stared bleakly at nothing. Then his mouth twisted wryly.
"Let alone the fact that I was hardly in anyone's good graces when Duncan conscripted me. Imprisonment in Aeonar or summary execution... they'll be simply delighted to see me."
He growled. Let them try to get past him.
"Ah, no, be calm, please. As a Grey Warden, by law I'm now beyond their control." A deep breath, released slowly. "I just need to keep reminding myself of that. I'll be fine."
Unconvinced, he rumbled and ground his teeth.
"We desperately need the Circle's aid, my friend, and we'll be in their territory. So unless we're attacked outright, I need you on your best behavior, please. No roughhousing, no aggression," a flash of genuine humor, "No inappropriate marking."
Huffing carelessly, he began to turn away, and his mage caught him gently under the chin.
"I mean it, Blossom," he said quietly. For a long moment, they held each other's gaze, and then Blossom squinted and flattened his ears submissively. The fingers turned and rubbed deliciously at _that_ spot on his throat, and he shut his eyes completely in rapture. "Thank you, my friend. All will be well." His master leaned forward to rest his forehead against his, and the Mabari slobbered comfortingly down his neck.
**.o0o.**
They crossed the polluted lake and approached the Tower, his Sabhya's hand on his back in an outwardly casual gesture. Only he could feel the tension vibrating behind the touch, the fingers stiff and resting with the delicate brittleness of a dried leaf.
Into the building itself, and into a crushing stench of blood and lyrium and fear and _wrongness_, and he could sense the shock and dismay compounding the pain his Sabhya already felt.
This was intolerable. Someone had to be held accountable.
_There. That one. _ Unmistakably the Alpha by his presence and the others' deference, and therefore responsible for all, the armored man reeked of exhausted rage and grief. Upon noticing their approach, the Templar glowered at his Sabhya with weary hostility, and the little mage stiffened.
Blossom understood the limits he had been set. He wouldn't overstep his bounds. But there were ways of delivering a message nonetheless.
**.o0o.**
_The animal wouldn't stop staring at him. _
Against the odds and all Greagoir's expectations, Amell and his motley party had emerged intact from the abomination-ridden pesthole his Tower had become, Irving and sundry other survivors in tow. Who would have guessed it of the undersized prodigy? The undersized prodigy turned renegade blood mage accomplice turned Grey Warden, he reminded himself. Evidently diversifying gave one an edge.
Where the _hell_ had he picked up that monstrous dog? Ugly as arse, but obviously a brute in a fight as evidenced by the flecks of gore on his coat. Well-behaved, too; in fact unnaturally so. Not a sound, not a bristle, not a motion – just looking.
_At me. Constantly._
The Knight-Commander glanced over to where Amell and his crew conferred with the First Enchanter, the Mabari sitting facing his way, and inadvertently met the parti-colored stare. He looked away, shifting uncomfortably.
_Maker's breath, that's unnerving._
Greagoir considered and quickly dismissed the thought of asking Amell to restrain his pet. What on earth could he say without sounding like a petulant child complaining about a sibling on a long wagon trip? "Ameeelll, your dog's _looking_ at meee!"
He turned slightly to put his back to the dog.
After a moment, he clenched his hands in his belt, certain he could feel twin blisters rising on the back of his neck.
_Bloody..._
He strode over to the Quartermaster's area, and under the pretext of examining the inventory couldn't help slanting a covert look. His convulsive grip crushed a pewter cup.
_Maferath's blue balls! Doesn't the dog ever blink? Is it part snake?_
To his infinite relief the Warden's group began moving toward the exit. Greagoir was surprised to see Senior Enchanter Wynne leaving with them, and snorted. One more thing to thank Amell for, taking the officious old biddy with- Damn it! The dog was still staring at him as it walked away! Didn't it even need to look where it was going?
The Mabari posed dramatically in the gateway, looking over its shoulder at him, before turning and quietly trotting out of view.
"Wheew...I wouldn't like to meet that creature in a fight."
"And wouldn't those eyes have thrown my grandmother into a tizzy. One yellow, one blue – she'd have been spitting between her fingers to avert the Evil Eye until she ran dry."
"Me, I was that close to throwing a Holy Smite its way."
The Knight Commander rounded viciously on the muttering Templars.
"A Smite. Really. It's a _dog_, you addled nincompoops," he snarled. "And since you seem to be recovered enough to be gossiping like a pair of senile fishwives I suggest you move your collective arse inside and begin cleaning up after the mess _we_ were so patently incapable of handling ourselves. Now!"
"Ser!"
"Yes, Ser!"
After the unfortunate Templars scrambled away, Irving wandered over to stand at his elbow, hands clasped behind his back and rocking on the balls of his feet. He was wearing the boots with the slightly warped soles, Greagoir noted, their familiar squeak almost surreal in its normalcy.
"A difficult time, my old friend."
"Yes."
_Squik. _
The First Enchanter studied a spider's web built high in the corner of the ceiling.
"So, I take it you tried a Smite on the dog?"
Greagoir folded his arms and breathed heavily through his nose, glaring at the great door.
_Squik._
"Did it work?"
_Squik._
_Squik._
"...No."
Irving seemed to find the dusty web utterly fascinating.
"How remarkable."
"Irving."
"Yes, my old friend?"
"Shut up. Please."
**.o0o.**
6. Use As Directed
_Am I the only one who thought this? _
**6. Use As Directed**
**.o0o.**
The Ostagar Kennel Master checked on his patient yet again. Going downhill, poor bugger, he thought sadly. If that Grey Warden recruit couldn't come through and locate the particular flowering herb he needed he doubted the animal would last the night. What a sorry waste.
Strange, he mused, carefully setting a bowl of fresh water where the listless Mabari might reach it. The recruit wasn't at all what he would have pictured as potential Grey Warden material, small as he was. Not clanking with armor and blades like the rest of them, just loose linen trousers and some kind of split tunic or robe. And the staff, of course. For that matter he was nothing like what he'd come to expect in a mage, either. Certainly not like that one with the enchanted stick up his arse, what was his name? Ulgo? Sluggo? Uldred, that was it. Always looking like he just stepped barefoot in someone else's puke.
But the Warden recruit, now, was downright pleasant. No sooner had the Kennel Master requested assistance than the little man went straight into the pen, calmed the suffering beast with a few quiet words and slipped the hated muzzle on to prevent him from hurting himself or others in his pain. The recruit even used his magic first to heal the infected gashes in the dog's face, which until then the Mabari had refused to allow anyone to touch. Contrary bastard that you are, the Kennel Master thought, looking consideringly into the pen. Always have gone your own way. If you pull through this, maybe we'll see if you want to imprint on the recruit.
A polite cough sounded from behind the Kennel Master, and turning he was relieved to behold the subject of his thoughts.
"You're back! Did you find the flower in the Wilds?" The recruit was already unfolding a handkerchief, sparing a concerned glance for the dog.
"Is this what you need?"
"Yeah, that's it!" The taller man accepted the familiar red-streaked blooms delightedly. "This should fix him right up. I'll go make these into an ointment right away."
The mage's brows drew in slightly in puzzlement, then after another look at the Mabari called, "Er, I beg your pardon, please?" The Kennel Master turned back.
"Yes?"
"If I recall correctly, you told me that the poor fellow was ill because he had swallowed darkspawn blood."
"Yes, that's right."
"Then-please, forgive my presumption-I don't quite understand why you plan to make an ointment. If he ingested the poison, shouldn't the remedy be taken internally as well?"
The Kennel Master stared blankly at the Warden recruit, blinked in dawning comprehension and dug in his pouch for the recipe.
"Oh, unless you intended to apply it rectally?"
"What? No, I..." he muttered distractedly, while from the pen a menacing snarl said, _you're certainly welcome to try it_ as plainly as human speech.
The recruit waited patiently while the Kennel Master frowned at the creased parchment.
"May I see?" he suggested diffidently after a moment. "I have some small skill in this area. Unless it's a trade secr-ah, thank you," as the baffled man thrust the sheet at him in relief. The little mage perused the faded writing and nodded.
"This shouldn't be difficult to adapt. I could help you with it right now, if you like." He covertly glanced over at the Warden Commander's bonfire and smiled reassuringly at the Kennel Master.
The dog raised his head and blearily watched the men walk away.
"Now that you mention it," said the Kennel Master as he guided the Warden recruit to the kennel's simples-chest, "I've got this...condition...of my own."
7. As Fresh As
**7. As Fresh As**
**.o0o.**
Alistair watched warily as Zevran approached to relieve him of his watch. He no longer exactly expected to wake up and find the elf had murdered them all in their beds, but hello: _assassin_. Sabhya seemed to trust him implicitly, but the mage was willing to trust just about anybody. However good a judge of character the other Warden might be, Alistair was reluctant to let bygones be bygones as yet. Having the distinct impression that Zevran was well aware and amused by his perfectly natural suspicion didn't help matters in the slightest.
"All quiet, Alistair?"
"Oh, the usual. Ogres, Emissaries, blight wolves, a stray dragon or two. Nothing worth rousing the camp over."
"And you cleaned up as well. How very considerate of you."
"That's what I'm here for." He paused as Blossom trotted past them in a businesslike manner, carrying a bundle with head held high. "Great, what's he gotten a hold of now?"
Zevran's eyes narrowed. "It appears to be an article of clothing."
As one, the men whipped around to verify that their respective possessions were blessedly unravaged and turned back in relief.
"What is it?" Alistair wondered. The Mabari was bouncing around some yards away, alternately tossing and shaking his prize.
"Trousers, I believe. They're small..."
"Sabhya's?" An errant breeze wafted past bearing the fragrance of stale liquor and body odor, and they felt their nostril hairs curl.
"Oghren's," they said in unison.
Arms folded, the two observed the dog's antics in silence, unconsciously mirroring each other's stance.
"I suppose someone should take them away from him."
"By all means, Alistair." Snake-strike quick, Zevran's hand flashed out to intercept a ballistic grommet sent flying by a particularly vigorous shake. Dropping it fastidiously, he recrossed his arms and inclined his head. "Be my guest."
"Oh, no, no. Not me. Besides, he likes you better."
"Surely not."
"He's already bitten me once. And don't get me started about rocks..."
"Truly? When and why would our faithful companion have been so ill-advised as to bite you?"
"Oh..." The ex-Templar rolled his shoulders. "It was before you," he glowered at the assassin, who raised an eyebrow and smirked faintly, "-showed up. Word of advice: don't get between Blossom and his food."
"One might almost take the animal for a Grey Warden."
"Yes, very funny. Ha, ha, this is me laughing."
Blossom dropped to one shoulder and rubbed his side along the aromatic garment, shoveling himself along with brisk pumps of his hind legs. Standing, he examined it intently before repeating the process on the other side.
"So, like I said, you should take them."
"My dear Alistair, since I find myself lacking a set of adamantium tongs with which to handle the dwarf's clothing, I for one am perfectly content in the knowledge that for once my belongings may pass the night without the attentions of our drooling friend yonder."
"Hm. Point taken."
They watched Blossom flop down to scrub his back luxuriously, groaning and kicking all four paws wildly.
"You know, considering what he usually finds to roll around in, this is pretty much an improvement."
"True."
"For the trousers, I mean."
"Indeed."
"_Hey! Who sodding stole my pants!"_
8. Nemesis
**8. Nemesis**
**.o0o.**
"Here! This way!"
The party raced with desperate urgency down a side path which opened into a cul de sac. Sabhya and Morrigan dropped to their knees, dumping their packs and frantically digging through the contents.
"Alistair! You, Sten and Oghren: barricades, please!"
"Right!" Alistair shed his gauntlets and hurried to where the dwarf was pulling boulders loose from a rockfall. Sten was already tossing a large tree trunk across the trail.
"Leliana, find a vantage point, please. We need your eyes – let us know the moment you see signs of pursuit." The bard nodded grimly and sprinted uphill. "Zevran – poisons, antidotes – with us, please, we need your expertise."
"On it."
"Warden, I hate to admit it, but this isn't my strongest area of study..."
"Understood. Leave us your kit, please, and keep the men rejuvenated so they don't wear themselves out building the defenses."
"Very well."
"And Wynne..."
"Yes?"
"Please be ready to cast a shield barrier. _Buy us time_."
"I will." The elderly mage moved toward the grimly determined workers, her hands glowing crystal blue.
The distant frenzied barking, carrying on the unnaturally quiet air, suddenly cut short with an agonized yelp.
"No!" Sabhya started to his feet, and Morrigan seized a fistful of his tunic and yanked him down again.
"Warden, _focus!_ We knew this was going to happen," she snapped. "All we can do now is come up with a remedy." Sabhya met her eyes and nodded briefly, tension evident in every line of his small frame.
"You're right. Thank you."
"Here," Zevran, who had been sorting efficiently through the pile of supplies, spoke suddenly, "I may have something." The three leaned together and conferred rapidly.
Leliana glanced at their bowed heads and back down the track, listening as the faraway 'ki-yi-yi' approached. She loosened her grip on her bow long enough to wipe the sweat from her palm and tried to swallow her fear.
The land was twisted and sickened by the Blight. Giant spiders, blight wolves, bereskarn: the natural world was rending itself like a man clawing a rash bloody. But this was something infinitely more horrifying than any ten Broodmothers, something no sane person could face with equanimity.
Mephitidae causarius.
Blight skunk.
_Maker help us all._
* * *
_A/N: Inspired by a perfectly innocent comment from roxfox1962 concerning skunks and the probable dearth of tomato juice in the Ferelden wilds. Take a bow, my dear. Or hide your face. Whichever you deem more appropriate._
9. Questions
**9. Questions**
**.o0o.**
"Before you go, there is something I must ask."
Sabhya inclined his head politely and waited for the Guardian to continue.
"I see that the path that led you here was not easy. There is suffering in your past – your suffering, and the suffering of others." Pausing, the Guardian seemed to turn over the pages of the mage's life, and settled on a recent chapter.
"Jowan was discovered by the templars. You were helping him.
"Tell me, do you think you failed Jowan?"
Sabhya went still as the familiar myriad recriminations, motivations and might-have-beens resurfaced and clamored for attention in his mind, many of which he had yet to come to terms with and none of which he was prepared to air. Not to a strange representative of a religion not his own, and certainly not in such an open venue. For a long moment he studied the ancient paladin while the torches popped and wavered.
"If I may ask, is permission to proceed contingent upon my reply?"
"You may pass regardless."
"Then I am sorry, I respectfully decline to answer."
The Guardian looked mildly disappointed, but responded peaceably. "Very well. You know your own heart."
"One wonders why you are afraid to answer such a simple question," Wynne interjected spitefully. "Perhaps your reticence says more than you ever could."
Sabhya whipped around.
"_Simple!" _he snapped. Everyone gaped at the harsh tone, as astonished as if the gentle little man had suddenly defecated in public. Wynne thinned her lips and returned Sabhya's angry look with hostility. Disconcerted, Alistair began babbling.
"Oh, so now you've got me curious about how you really fee-" He was cut off by the simultaneous impacts of Leliana's and Morrigan's palms against the back of his head.
The exchange went unnoticed by the two mages, the air between them literally becoming charged as they locked gazes. Blossom looked from Sabhya to Wynne and rose slowly to his feet, silently curling his lip.
The elderly woman's eyes shifted, and Sabhya visibly forced himself to relax.
"_All_ questions are simple, Senior Enchanter Wynne," he said tightly and turned away. "It's the answers that get complicated."
* * *
_._
_note: All dialogue other than Sabhya's and "You may pass..." is from the game._
10. On the Call of Duty
**10. On the Call of Duty**
**.o0o.**
Alistair gloomily watched Blossom race after the stick Sabhya had obligingly thrown.
"It's just that..." He sighed, booting a pebble as the two men resumed their progress across the courtyard. Sabhya looked at him in quiet sympathy and waited for him to continue.
"Doesn't what _I_ want ever matter?"
"Of course it does."
"Really? Could have fooled me." The younger man's voice had a bitter edge and he scooped up the branch the returning Mabari dropped expectantly at his feet. "Seems more like I just got volunteered for the dirty job no one else wants." Muscles bunching, he hurled it away with Blossom in hot pursuit.
"I know this can't be easy for you."
"Huh."
"Truly, I do. I also know you're more than capable of handling it, that we – that I – depend upon you."
"You're just saying that to make me feel better about it."
"Alistair." Sabhya met his eyes seriously. "Have I _ever_ lied to you?"
"No. No, you haven't."
The little mage touched his shoulder. "I'm not about to start now."
Abashed, Alistair grasped the chair leg Blossom was offering, and flung it after a brief struggle for possession.
"I know. I'm just, well, scared. There, I said it. Some tough guy, huh?"
"That only goes to show you're being sensible." Sabhya smiled. "Really, it would be of more concern if you were actually eager for it."
Alistair snorted. "No fear of that." They turned the corner in companionable silence and came to a stop.
"You won't just walk away once I get started?"
"I won't abandon you, my friend. This is on me as well."
"I still think _Sten_ could do a better job than I could."
Sabhya chuckled. "_Pashaara._"
Blossom trotted around the corner and skidded to a halt, the fence post he was dragging splintering in his teeth at sight of the waiting tub filled with soapy water.
"Right, then," said Alistair, rolling up his sleeves with jaw set in renewed determination.
"Let's do this."
11. Ailurophilia
_My sincerest apologies..._
**11. Ailurophilia**
**.o0o.**
Zevran held up a hand for silence from his position on point and indicated the room ahead. Through the open door came the sound of a little girl chattering and giggling, incongruous to the point of absurdity in the dank, wraith-infested cellar. Alistair and Sabhya exchanged glances and moved to join the assassin.
Entering cautiously, they beheld an open space paved with elaborately worked brass tiles. On the near side sat the little girl, presumably Amalia, talking nonsense to a large, orange cat which regarded her with complacent feline hauteur.
Sabhya cleared his throat.
"Forgive me for interrupting, but are you Amalia?" he began. "Your fa-"
There was a streak of brown fur followed by a wet crunch.
"Kitty!"
"Blossom!"
"Ew!"
Sabhya rested his hands on his hips and looked reproachfully at the Mabari unrepentantly gripping the limp bundle of ex-cat in his jaws.
"Blossom, what have I told you about cats and self-control?"
With the sound of a toy bladder abruptly deflating, the pathetic, orange-furred feline carcass morphed into a voluptuous, lavender-skinned desire demon carcass.
"Ah, then again...er, yes, well done."
After a startled cross-eyed glance at his unexpectedly humanoid mouthful, Blossom sat with a self-righteous air of "I meant to do that."
"Where's Kitty?"
_.oOo._
Upon exiting the room, Amalia darted ahead, closely followed by Sabhya and Blossom, who triumphantly carried one of the demon's horns. The mage, who had with difficulty persuaded the dog to leave the majority of the demon's corpse behind, was attempting to strike a balance between praise for taking down a dangerous foe and reminder of the value of restraint vis-à-vis other peoples' cats and frankly finding it heavy going in face of the current evidence.
"Do you know," Zevran said thoughtfully to Alistair, "I am vividly reminded of the evening I spent with the Duquesa de Scarla."
"Why? Oh, wait, let me guess: 'She was a veritable demon in bed,' right?"
"Ah, my friend, you cannot begin to imagine."
"I don't want to hear it."
"Indeed, quite the extraordinary mouthful of pu-"
"Not listening! LA-LA-LA-LA!"
12. Graffito
_Edited to squee uncontrollably: The same day this chapter was published, Tyanilth did me the honor of granting a certain undersized Amell__ and his Mabari a cameo appearance in Chapter 32 of 'The Hourglass,' which is one of the best LoghainxF!Cousland tales out there. Really, I can't recommend Tyanilth's writing highly enough - if you aren't familiar with it you're missing something special. And by the way, Blossom is evidently as badly behaved in whatever universe he finds himself. :D_
* * *
**12. Graffito**
**.o0o.**
"What was that all about?" Leliana joined Sabhya and looked curiously after Wynne, who was heading for her tent with the brisk pace of a proselytizer having completed a mission.
Sabhya finished buckling Blossom's collar and the dog shook himself thoroughly.
"The Senior Enchanter," he replied, giving his friend a pat, "was being kind enough to express her concern-"
"At great and painstakingly detailed length," put in Zevran.
"-over the fact that Blossom has a propensity to be fairly uninhibited when he marks territory." Sabhya concluded, nodding in acknowledgement to the assassin. Leliana wrinkled her nose.
"Well...granted it's not the nicest thing to see, but after all he's a dog; it's not like he isn't housebroken."
Sabhya smiled at the bard and spread his hands in resignation.
"She does kind of have a point, though," Alistair said. "I mean, does every tree, every fence, wall, and statue have to get watered? And so, so _extravagantly_? Remember that Legionnaire in the Deep Roads? He was convinced someone had been writing runes from some strange language on the walls and that it was evidence supporting some rumor going around about intelligent Darkspawn."
Leliana began giggling uncontrollably.
"Oh, you laugh, but I didn't know where to look."
"Really, my friend, you are a fine one to talk," said Zevran, buffing his nails on his jerkin and glancing up slyly. "I seem to recall some extravagant writing of your name in the snow when we were traversing those hellishly cold Frostbacks." Alistair turned bright red.
"What? No, I... it's not the same thi-wait, you were peeking? You, you _peeker_!"
"I noticed you spelled it A-L-I-S-T-R. If I may make a suggestion, when I was learning my letters I carried a bit of paper so I could remember exactly how my name should look."
"So did I," commented Sabhya, his eyes twinkling.
"There, you see, Alistair?"
"_I know how to spell my name!"_
"Indeed?"
"I just...I ran out of, out of..."
"Ink?"
"Yes!"
"Ah, then it is simply a question of proper muscle control," Zevran said soothingly, "and the _pulpo_ will have an unending supply."
"I can control myself just fine, thank you. And I'm not having this conver-"
"But do you see, our profligate friend here never runs out of fuel."
_Hwrmff_. With a snort, Blossom began scratching under his shoulder in smug superiority.
"I am certain if you drink the right sorts of-"
"I said I'm not having this conversation! And anyway," Alistair gratefully leaped at the chance to redirect the topic which had somehow veered wildly out of control and appealed to Sabhya. "That's the point, right? He doesn't really need to mark everything, does he?"
The little mage ruefully passed his hand over his head.
"In all honesty, Alistair, I'm just grateful if he targets something inanimate."
Pause.
"Okay, point taken."
_.oOo._
"_By the Stone, here's another one!" _
"_There must have been dozens of the blighters!"_
"_We've got to make copies and take them to the Shaperate!"_
_.oOo._
* * *
_A/N: Yes, well...the lesson to be learned here is never to underestimate the hazards of resorting to a random word generator prompt for inspiration. "Graffito" forsooth! _
13. Conversations in Antivan
**13. Conversations in Antivan**
**.o0o.**
Zevran seated himself next to Sabhya, facing away from the fire to preserve his night vision, and accepted the cup of tea the mage offered.
"_Salud y pesetas." _He clicked his mug against Sabhya's.
"_Tetas y galletas," the_ little man responded, straight-faced, and sipped demurely as Zevran hurriedly set down his cup to cover a snort of laughter.
_.o0o._
It had become something of an evening ritual, as much as the irregular lifestyle permitted, beginning shortly after Zevran joined the Warden's group. Where most of the party viewed the assassin with justifiable suspicion, Sabhya had made a point of joining him on watch, either engaging in quiet conversation or simply standing in companionable silence. The mage's only response to Alistair's frequent protests (really, the lad must think he was deaf) was a firm, "I trust his word, Alistair. If you cannot do the same, I understand, but I must ask that you please trust in mine at least."
Perhaps a week later, Sabhya had asked diffidently whether he would object to conversing in Antivan during their watch. Surprised, Zevran shrugged and assented.
"Are we to discuss deadly secrets so that none may understand? I am impressed by your resourcefulness." Sabhya looked distressed.
"Ah, no, please don't misunderstand me. Certainly if the others are in earshot we should speak so all can understand. I just..." He trailed off, unspoken thoughts passing across his countenance like the shadow of a bird in flight. The elf looked at him questioningly.
"I'm being foolish, I know," the little mage said softly, almost to himself. "It's just been so long since I've heard the tongue spoken. Longer still since I last spoke it myself. It would be...I was very small..." He refocused on Zevran, who stood some three inches taller than himself, and his eyes creased in self-deprecating humor. "Even smaller than now, believe it or not."
Initially Zevran's motivation was self-preservation alone: to stay in the good graces of the Warden while gleaning any knowledge about him that might be of use. Judging by the occasional juvenile speech mannerism, it was indeed likely that the mage had stopped speaking Antivan as a child. Far more intriguing, though, were the blurred sibilants and softened consonants – a distinctly upper-class pattern as opposed to the staccato street patois – an observation Zevran filed away for future consideration along with the faint, wholly unfamiliar lilt that defied identification.
After a couple of weeks, however, the assassin realized he was enjoying the conversations in their own right, and after some struggle with his professional conscience accepted the fact. It was pleasant to spend an hour or so hearing the music of his native Antivan, like the patter of rain on a stream compared to that of Ferelden's boots stomping through mud. And Sabhya was different during the conversations, somehow. Not drastically so, nothing one could point at, but different even so. No less polite than ever. Less guarded, perhaps? More relaxed? Not precisely, but something like. (_Happy_, something whispered in the back of Zevran's mind.) He was not unaware of the lopsided dynamic of the group in which it seemed the entire party took it as a given that Sabhya heard and understood all of their problems. Never once had Zevran witnessed anyone other than the dog offer the reverse; if merely speaking in another tongue offered something in return, well, it was minor enough.
.o0o.
"Would you mind if I asked you a question?"
"By all means." Zevran recovered his cup and took a swallow.
"Could you tell me a little about Antiva, please?" There was a wistfulness in Sabhya's voice that struck an answering note in the elf, which he covered in the extravagance of his reply.
"_Verdad?_ And of what shall I speak? Shall I speak of the warm sun, of the gentle rains, of the flowers that are always in bloom? Shall I speak of my native city? I hail from the glorious Antiva City, home to the royal palace. It is a glittering gem amidst the sands, my Antiva City." He looked sidelong at the little mage. "Did you come from someplace comparable?" he asked delicately. _It would explain the accent._
The Warden smiled. "I am from no glittering gem, no."
_Ah, well, it was worth a try. _"No? That is a great pity. If you were, then you would surely spend as much time boasting of it as I do." Boast he did, describing the sights and sounds of the city to his attentive companion, and as he did he felt a rising nostalgia.
"Do you know," he said thoughtfully, "what is most odd? For all its wine and its dark-haired beauties and the lillo flutes of the minstrels...I miss the leather the most."
"I presume that is not a euphemism."
Zevran laughed, acknowledging the hit. "Not _this_ time, no. No, I mean the _smell_. For years I lived in a tiny apartment near Antiva City's leather-making district, in a building where the Crows stored their youngest recruits. Packed in like crates." He nodded as Sabhya proffered the kettle, and held his cup steady for the refill.
"I grew accustomed to the stench, even though the humans complained of it constantly. To this day, the smell of fresh leather is what reminds me most of home - more than anything else."
Sabhya set the kettle down, nodding in understanding as he prodded the fire with a bit of stick.
"The things that will evoke a memory...a smell, a fragrance..." The little mage trailed off, contemplatively rolling the stick's tip in the dirt to extinguish a tiny flame.
"I remember sitting next to the plaza fountain in the summer as the days came to an end. The bricks would be giving up the heat the sun had beaten into them, and the warmth bore the scent of dust and adobe and damp where the fountain always splashed. That is the smell of summer for me." The stick began tracing idle curves in the dirt.
"There was a wrought-iron gate, all elaborate arcs and twists and spikes. I remember pretending the shadow it cast was a marvelous creature of fancy, and as the sun sank and the shadows lengthened I would watch my creature stretch its neck and its legs, longer and longer, reaching for where I sat until we both disappeared into the summer-scented dusk."
"And what was your fanciful creature? A dragon? A mabari? Ah, a griffon, of course!"
Sabhya laughed softly.
"That would have been nicely prophetic, would it not? But no, it was merely something borne by the sun and a childish imagination."
Zevran glanced upward. "Speaking of childishness, I believe I can hear young Alistair preparing to take over the watch. Go on ahead, my dear Warden. I must not deprive him of the pleasure of attempting to glare a hole through my hide."
"I am sure he will come around in time." Sabhya smiled reassuringly as he stood and stretched. _"Buenas noches, compadre."_
"_Duerma bien." _The assassin watched the mage skirt Blossom's recumbent form and disappear into his tent. As he tossed the dregs of his tea into the fire, his eye was caught by the curving lines in the dirt.
If he allowed his imagination to work with the writhing shadows, it looked like a black bird flying free.
14. Checkmate
**14. Checkmate**
**.o0o.**
Sten focused his gaze on the Mabari.
Blossom seized a likely-looking rock and stood ready.
Sten folded his arms.
Blossom juggled the rock a couple of times, then tossed it at Sten's foot.
Sten leaned forward and narrowed his eyes.
Blossom sat and waited expectantly.
Sten growled. "...rrr..."
Blossom tilted his head inquisitively.
Sten growled again. "Rrrrr."
Blossom stood slowly, rumbling deep in his chest.
_.o0o._
"Now what in the world do you suppose is going on over there?" At Zevran's bemused comment, Morrigan and Sabhya looked up from the jumble of herbs they were sorting and followed his gaze. The Qunari and the dog were facing each other, eyes locked.
"Grrrrr!" This from Sten.
A long, threatening growl in response.
"It appears to be a clash of intellects. 'Tis a wonder Alistair isn't there whining along in counterpoint."
Sabhya set aside a bundle of clary sage and stood, brushing his hands and frowning slightly.
"I can't believe that's altogether wise-" he began.
"HAARRRGH!" Sten roared.
A rising, vicious snarl, accompanied by a lunge, followed by a high-pitched yelp.
From Sten.
Sabhya broke into a run.
Sten was standing on his tiptoes, back arched and arms wide.
"You-are-a-true-warrior-and-worthy-of-respect-argh-argh-argh-"
"Blossom! Let go! _Now_, please!"
The Mabari released his opponent and grinned, tongue lolling and displaying rather more teeth than necessary as the Qunari gingerly settled back down.
"I'm so _very_ sorry. Are you all right?"
"I am fine."
"Are you certa- Sten, he drew blood! That needs to be checked!"
"No need."
"I'm afraid I must insist. Or would you prefer to have Senior Enchanter Wynne take a look?"
". . . . . . no, Kadan."
"Then after you, please."
"Yes, Kadan."
The little mage stood aside to allow the wincing giant to duck into his tent before following, then abruptly leaned back out to direct a Stern Look at Blossom and stop him in the act of lifting a triumphant leg over Sten's bedroll. The dog looked innocent, then as soon as the tent flap dropped turned and briskly kicked several scoops of dirt instead.
"Well, then, Zevran. Now you know a certain way to get an invitation into Sabhya's tent. I suggest you begin practicing it immediately."
"Mm, very tempting. But no; when the happy opportunity presents itself I believe I would prefer to have my pieces in one piece, as it were."
"But where is all that vaunted persistence?"
"My lovely Morrigan, is that an offer to practice?"
"Tchah! Does 'removed altogether' sound better than 'in pieces' to you?"
"It all depends upon what sort of technique you plan to employ, my dear."
"Go away, elf."
15. Reach
**15. Reach**
**.o0o.**
The walls are mirrors, and Sabhya stands amongst the reflections, watching them quietly. He knows better than to meet his own eyes; instead he looks to the side, to the figures marching away in endless sequence.
_Desire is not merely about sex. _The voice purrs behind him, silky and feminine.
"I am aware, yes. Thank you." He raises his right hand and idly turns it, palm in, palm out.
_It is to yearn for what you have not._
Palm in, palm out, it creates a synchronized ripple of movement like water lapping at the shore.
_For what is out of your reach. _
His hand stills, fingers drooping.
_For what has abandoned you. _The voice is a rich baritone, accented and smooth. _I can come back, mijo._
"He never abandoned me." The mage slowly reaches out, watching as the myriad figures all reach as well – always away.
_For what has moved on without you. _An implacable older woman, steely but with a musical lilt. _I miss you, child._
"It was Amah's time." If he moves his hand just so, it creates the illusion of touching the reflection's shoulder, over and over and over.
_For what left you behind. _Jowan. Anxious, with a mercurial shift to sly humor. _I always look up to you, big brother._
"He did what he needed to do." Sabhya's hand closes, grasping air and promises, equally insubstantial.
_A chime of jewelry, a whiff of scent._
"Leave me, please." The irony of the command fills his mouth like sawdust, and the Demon laughs at him in as many voices as there are images before falling silent.
He (all of them) reaches out (reach away) with his left hand in the sickeningly oppressive quiet, and this time he encounters a rough solidity which he clutches in astonished gratitude. The mirrors thin like frost under a heated copper and fade away.
.o0o.
Sabhya blinks to clear his vision and gain his bearings after the transition from the Fade to reality. They had stopped for a rest break a few days out of Lothering; he must have dozed off. Blossom lies next to him, uncomplaining under the death grip Sabhya has on his shoulder and regarding the mage steadily.
Sabhya loosens his hold with a conscious effort but leaves his hand in place, allowing the warm strength to ease his shaking. He looks into the dog's intelligent eyes, one the lambent yellow of a candle's flame in the dark, the other the greyish blue of an open winter sky, and raises his other hand to touch the massive head.
"I'm all right," he murmurs, and his new friend leans into his palm. "All will be well."
For the first time in years, he allows himself to believe it.
* * *
_A/N: This was inspired by imagery that comes to my mind upon reading Ventisquear's stunning 'Noblesse Oblige.' _
16. Pull
**16. Pull**
**.o0o.**
"What is the purpose of this?"
With a 'tsk' at the poor security on Eamon's estate, Leliana closed the chest she had just broken into and joined Sten. A bored Blossom padded after her.
"It's a bell pull. How civilized!" She eyed the tasseled bit of cloth in surprise.
Sten frowned.
"There is no bell."
"No, not in here. It runs to the servants' area, so if you want something you can pull this and a bell labeled for this room rings to summon someone."
"I see." The warrior considered.
"It's awfully short, though." Leliana leaned closer. "Oh, it's gotten all bunched up. Maybe the maid tucked it up when she was cleaning." She picked delicately at the wad of fabric where it disappeared into a crevice near the ceiling. "Or maybe mice were pulling at it. Here we are." The cloth hung lower by several inches when she finished.
"Would this be used to request food?"
"Of course."
"I would like cookies." Sten announced. Blossom sat up attentively with a _whfff _of agreement. The bard laughed.
"You always want cookies."
"Yes. What is your point?" The Qunari folded his arms and regarded her impassively.
"Merely an observation." Leliana giggled as she reached up and tugged lightly.
Nothing happened. She made a moue and tried again. "I think it's broken. Oh well, we can go find the kitchen."
As she turned away Blossom leaped and seized the cloth, dropping his full weight against it.
_Clang!_
"Oh, good boy!" Leliana beamed.
Growling excitedly, Blossom whipped his head from side to side.
_Clang! Clang!_
"That should be fine-"
Blossom braced himself and yanked repeatedly in a series of quick, sharp jerks.
_Clang-clang-clang-clang-clang-clang-_
"They're going to think we're horribly impatient-"
The Mabari abruptly sat down as the cloth gave up the unequal struggle and ripped.
"Oh, dear..."
They watched the dog prance about the room, vigorously shaking his trophy.
"When will the cookies arrive?" asked Sten.
**.o0o.**
On the floor above, a Guardsman watched owlishly as his fellow groaned and rolled to a sitting position, struggling to detach the helmet that had been jammed over his face.
"Bunworth?"
"...Ffflnnl..."
"I'll just ask mum to make your next scarf a good deal shorter, then, shall I?"
"Yff, plff."
* * *
_Random word generator prompt: "Pull"_
17. The Telling of Tales
_Fan art! [flails and runs in excited circles] My first ever! Utterly awesome WellspringCD has done this adorable portrait of Blossom: _**wellspringcd . com / blossom. html **_Thank you so much, WellspringCD!_
_The link is also on my profile if you don't want to mess with removing FF-placating spaces. _
**17. The Telling of Tales**
**.o0o.**
There was a respectful silence as the old gaffer took a pull from his tankard and smacked his lips like a meditative rabbit.
"Ahh, good for what ails ye, that is. Nobbut it holds a candle to the brew in _my_ day. . . but, to resume." He waited through the rustle of collective anticipation from his fellow patrons and continued.
"So there I were, not a sennight agone. Just coming on twilight it were, with the light going grey and the rooks all a-brawl in the treetops before settling in to roost. I'd unhitched Dobbin and given the fellow a rub and feed, and I were heading to unload the cart when I were seized by the sure certainty _something_ were about. Something _unnatural._"
His voice lowered and the men leaned forward, listening intently.
"Air were still as stone, but could hear puffs of wind nonetheless, and the rotting stench of a dozen untimely opened barrows rose to me nosethrils. Aye, eldritch horrors were abroad, and me with naught but a knife and the nails in me boots. I'm an honest man, I am, and I'm not ashamed to say me hair were a-standing on end when I peered into the yard. And what do you think I saw, a-lurking there by the cart?" The wizened old man paused and looked around at his rapt audience.
"The Cú An Boladh!" He barked, slamming his tankard on the table. Everyone leaped like scalded cats, and Annie, caught in the act of refilling the rounds, squeaked and narrowly avoided dumping her pitcher into the nearest lap. The young scholar in the group, recovering from the shock, soundlessly repeated the name and frowned in perplexity.
"Aye! The Cú An Boladh! Taller than a draft horse and twice as broad, it were, with hide made of barren earth itself! Cavernous mouth a-yawning wide with triple rows of slavering fangs longer than me hand! Tongue of flame, and eyes a-rolling and a-blazing fire in colors from yellow to blue and back again! I were that certain my time had come. But-" A pause to refresh, surrounded by open mouths and wide eyes.
"As luck would have it, the cart were still loaded up with me weekly provisions, and we all know the fey folk find cream and spirits well-nigh irresistible. So instead of carrying off me soul, the Cú An Boladh seized on a firkin of good red ale and vanished away, leaving only the whiff of the grave and-"
"I've never heard of the Cú An Boladh," interrupted the young scholar, demonstrating that education most certainly did not beget wisdom. "Are you sure you aren't making this up?"
"Far be it for me," said the gaffer after a chilly silence, "to pretend I know anything more than someone of _your_ wealth of years and experience." His eyes narrowed. "Next you'll be a-saying the Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep doesn't exist."
"Shh!"
"Quiet!"
"Do you want all our flocks eaten?"
"Shh! It'll hear you!"
Quelling the young scholar with a shower of head-slaps, the patrons assured the offended elder that the youth was merely a passing idiot whose brain had been damaged from all the ill-advised learning and begged him to continue, topping up his tankard until it overflowed.
"Well," huffed the old man after a suitable interval. "As I were a-saying, the Cú An Boladh vanished away, leaving only the stench and, as it happens, _this!" _ He plunked a heavy bundle onto the table and whisked away the covering.
There was a short silence.
"A rock?" Someone spoke hesitantly.
"Ah, it's a rock _now,_" the gaffer said proudly, "but _before_ it were the miasma a-roiling within the creature's very jaws, made harmless at the touch of our good mortal ale."
Nodding wisely, everyone agreed there was nothing a good ale couldn't improve, and proceeded to test the theory with another round.
**.o0o.**
_"Don't you ever wonder where Blossom finds all these things he brings you?"_
_"Leliana, I've discovered it's generally best not to think too hard about it."_
_"Ha! Red Ale! Don't be selfish, Warden, pass the sodding bucket around!"_
_._
_.o0o._
_A/N: Cú An Boladh roughly translates to "Hound of the Stench." Sorry, Blossom. The Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep is from 'Father Ted.'_
18. Fear
_A combination of a semi-response to Reyavie's Halloween challenge on CMDA plus a random word prompt "Fear."_
**18. Fear**
**.o0o.**
Alistair fought free of his bedroll and into wakefulness, images of the Archdemon's hordes howling and echoing in his mind.
_That __was __a __bad __one. _He sat for a moment with his head in his hands, attempting to reconcile adrenaline with exhaustion, and then gave it up as a bad business. _Might __as __well __get __some __air. __I__'__m __certainly __not __getting __any __more __sleep._
He lurched to his feet and ducked out of the tent, welcoming the cooling night breeze. Some yards away he could see Sabhya and Zevran in quiet conversation by the fire, with Blossom lying couchant near his mage. As Alistair hesitated, uncertain whether to interrupt, Sabhya looked up and waved him over.
The little mage's welcoming smile faded to a look of sympathy as he took in the younger man's drawn appearance.
"Nightmares?" He patted a nearby rock in invitation.
Alistair shrugged and sat. "Maybe we should call them, 'Blightmares'? Seeing as it's one of our extra special Grey Warden perks." He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his neck as Sabhya, with an appreciative chuckle, began to brew a fresh pot of tea.
"One has to wonder about life at Weishauppt," Zevran remarked. "A dormitory full of sleeping Wardens must emit quite the symphony of intriguing moans and groans. Who could say what really transpires in the dark? 'Why, yes, Commander, I was having a nightmare. That is to say, my friend here and I both were.'"
"Very funny," Alistair said tiredly. "Not to mention a little creepy." He propped his forearms on his knees, letting his hands hang loosely as he watched a ribbon of blue flame worming along the length of a stick. "Huh. Creepy . . . haven't thought of that in a while. . ."
"What's that, Alistair?" Sabhya asked after a pause. Blossom stretched, yawning prodigiously, and the mage disengaged a flailing paw with a pat.
"Hm? Oh, when I was a kid, I . . . you know, living in the stable wasn't so bad." He spoke absently, eyes on the fire. "I liked the horses. They were warm, and solid, and they'd always put their heads over the stalls and point their ears at me like they were glad I was there. It was nice. Except there was this time I ran an errand to the tanner when he'd just rendered some nag's carcass and stuck the skull out in the yard on a post to dry out. There's something, I don't know, _spiky_ about a horse's skull when it's not wrapped up in, well, the head. Without those big, soft lips the teeth look more like fangs, and those empty eye sockets are huge and stare right through you like you're nothing. And someone with a weird sense of humour had tied a bunch of blue ribbons at the jaw, like a fancy bridle. Death dressed up for a festival. Creepy."
He nudged the stick to make the ash fall. "After that, sometimes I'd dream that the horses would peel away their faces, like taking off a jacket, and it would be _horrible_. Or at night I'd wake up just _knowing_ that thing was there in the big loose box, that if I went near it would put its naked bony face over the stall and look at me with those empty eyes and fluttering ribbons, and I'd practically pee myself at the thought. Even now I catch myself looking twice into the dark corners of an empty stall." He glanced at the other two men. "Pretty stupid, huh?"
Sabhya shook his head in denial as Zevran replied in all seriousness, "My friend, speaking as a professional, that is not such a bad habit to cultivate, regardless of why you began it." Alistair eyed the elf, wary of mockery, and shrugged one shoulder.
"The most innocuous things can have an extraordinary impact on a child." Sabhya hesitated fractionally and continued. "Before I learned how to read, I would flip through every book I could get my hands on. Partly I was pretending to be grown up and reading, partly I was looking for whatever pictures I could find. One day I came across a print of a Chantry allegory of the sins of humankind. It was a woodcut in an older Anderfelian style, stark, exaggerated lines and crowded with images. For some reason, one particular thing in that entire busy scene caught my eye: a man, or what was left of a man, trapped in a prison cell. His limbs and torso were unnaturally attenuated; his tendons stood out as though he'd been flayed. His mouth gaped and his eyes, overlarge and sunken, streamed with black tears. He clung with one hand to the bars with the other outstretched in a desperate attempt to reach- what? A key? Food? Somebody? _Nothing_ was near.
"It gave me screaming nightmares for a week." He picked up his cup and rotated it in his hand.
"It also left me with an inordinate terror of being imprisoned. Not of closed spaces, but the idea of being locked up in a cell, in a cage . . ." A muscle jumped in his jaw, and he added with forced lightness, "Well, there you are. It might be best not to pass that on, please." Blossom licked his hand and Sabhya's countenance genuinely lightened as he smiled at his friend.
Zevran looked into his own cup and thought of barred Tower windows, recalling with a new understanding Sabhya's intense reaction upon discovering his young friend in the Redcliffe dungeon.
"You know," Alistair pointed out, "this may not have been the best career choice for you. Considering the whole wanted for treason thing."
"Unfortunately Duncan was unable to give my curriculum vitae a thorough once-over beforehand," Sabhya replied dryly. "But let's be sure to include a note on our recruitment posters from here on out."
"Heh."
A log collapsed in a shower of sparks.
"Maria Enganxa." Zevran spoke quietly. Alistair looked blank, but Sabhya stirred in recognition after a moment's thought.
"Maria Enganxa," the assassin repeated, acknowledging the mage with a nod. "You would say, Maria of the Hook. Before the Crows bought me, one of the whores took great relish in recounting the tale of Maria Enganxa to me and to the other children. The most powerful of water-women, she of the golden hair and emerald eyes, who dwells in the deepest, darkest wells and cisterns. She who always carries a hook in one hand, with which she catches small children around the neck and pulls them into her well, never to be seen again. As there was a large cistern in the basement of the whorehouse, it frequently fell to me to fetch water and a terrifying experience it was. The cistern was blacker than night and might as well have been bottomless, and the air passing over it sounded like a woman whispering insanely to herself. I could never be certain whether the creaking I heard was that of the bucket I was lowering or of a body shifting, preparing to hook me around the neck and drag me into the darkness."
There was a short silence.
"Why am I not surprised that your childhood fear involved a beautiful, homicidal woman?"
"Ah, my friend, perhaps it is because women are a mystery to us poor men, and we must always fear the unknown. But it is true," Zevran said mournfully, "It is a terrible fear, and I must continually seek to combat it. As frequently as possible."
"Truly, you are a man of parts." Sabhya spoke solemnly.
"So I am told. Would you like to see them?"
"No! Sabhya, don't encourage him like that!"
The mage laughed. Blossom thumped his tail happily at the sound and shifted to lean heavily against Sabhya's leg, resting his head on the man's foot.
"So, what do you suppose Blossom's puppyhood fear was? Losing his toys? Getting stepped on?"
"Not enough room at the teats?"
"That's more one of yours."
"True."
Sabhya leaned forward and ran his hand over the rough fur.
"Perhaps," he mused, "he was afraid of being left alone." He fondled Blossom's ear as the dog sighed deeply and closed his eyes contentedly. "He's not so different from the rest of us, after all."
**.oOo.**
_._
_Alistair's fear is inspired by the Mari Lwyd of Wales. Maria Enganxa is a legend of Majorca._
19. Fadescape
**19. Fadescape**
**.o0o.**
"Wouldn't you like to just lay down and . . . forget about all this? Leave it all behind?"
The growl bubbling in his chest was abruptly cut short as an unnatural exhaustion dropped over him like a weighted net, and he was asleep before he hit the floor.
.oOo.
This place was strange and wrong, and his Sabhya was missing. He raised his head high, but the air hung thickly and carried no information.
_"What do we do with it?"_
_"Here, try this."_
His ears swiveled at the whispers. Turning his head he saw a kennel master who chirruped and held a dripping haunch of venison out to him invitingly. Not a kennel master. It moved wrong, sounded wrong, and most obviously smelled wrong - of ichor and otherness. He ignored it and began to circle the area, casting about for a trace of his mage's scent.
_"Not hungry? Or not for food?"_
Something wearing the shape of a magnificent mabari bitch coyly presented itself to him. Moving wrong, smelling of ichor and otherness. He shouldered it aside in contempt, snapping irritably when it tried to fawn over him.
_"Play? __Hunt?" _The whispers were becoming impatient. The ball bounced disregarded into the mists, and he simply stepped on the rabbit that broke cover underfoot with a squeaky crunch of ichor and otherness.
_"Fine! __Stupid __animal__.__.__." _The whispers cut off.
He sat, brow furrowed as he considered. The gigantic demon made him sleep, and when he woke up his Sabhya and the others in the pack were gone and he was in this place. Therefore sleeping again should put things right.
And if not, well, he'd have spared himself some boredom.
After checking warily for more wrong-creatures, he turned around in place four times and settled down with a sigh.
.oOo.
"Blossom? Can you wake up?"
The beloved voice. Even as he opened his eyes he already knew the gentle touch and the scent - lyrium and herbs, stillness and caring - and he bounded to his feet with an excited yawing whine. They were still in this Wrong place, but his Sabhya was there and smiling at him with delight and relief.
"I'm glad to see you, too, my friend. I've been- no!" With a cry of frustration, his mage was enveloped in a shimmer of light, and vanished as he lunged forward in dismay.
He ground his teeth, enraged. Enough was enough.
Something needed to die.
"Oh, here I am, good dog! Did you miss me?" Wearing the shape of his Sabhya.
Smelling of ichor and otherness.
And stupidity.
His lips peeled back. This would do for a start.
**.oOo.**
_._
20. Communicado
**20. Communicado**
**.o0o.**
"Enchantment!"
"Yes, you're quite right, the staff is rather too long for me. They generally are, I'm afraid."
"Enchantment?"
"Well, I taught myself to tailor the robes without damaging their properties." Chuckle. "I confess, it was in a large measure pure vanity. Between you and me, in an unmodified Circle robe I bore a disturbing resemblance to a partially melted candle."
"Enchantment."
"Thank you, how kind of you to say so."
"Enchantment."
"Now that you mention it, I wonder . . . "
"Enchantment?"
"Please, forgive the imposition, but with your expertise do you think you could modify a staff to suit my height?"
"Mm . . .enchantment, enchantment . . . "
"Or perhaps we could develop a viable alternative?"
"En-_chant_-ment!"
"Oh, now that's an intriguing notion . . ."
**.oOo.**
"Huh. Look at that. Must be all that talking to Blossom; only Sabhya could make sense of a conversation with Sandal."
"'Tis a greater wonder to me that he can make sense of a conversation with you."
"Yes, thanks. I actually saw that remark coming a mile away."
"Oh, I am all astonishment."
_"What if we . . ."_
_"Enchantment . . ."_
_"Yes, absolutely. Brilliant!"_
_"Enchantment!"_
21. Wind
_A random word prompt 'Wind' which elicited four simultaneous & highly disparate images (this happens to me - see my piece 'Riot' if interested)._
**21. Wind**
**.o0o.**
* * *
**1. Breath**
Alistair sat with his head in his hands, swallowing against his queasiness and trying to ignore the sense that the ground was swaying ever so slightly. He could do this; Haven was only a short ways away. _And __if __any __bandits __show __up, __I __can __always __barf __on __them. __Yeah, __that'll __work __just __fine._
The pebbles crunched under a light step, and Sabhya sat next to him.
"This ought to help. Chew it, but don't swallow it, please."
Alistair sniffed the bit of dried root in wan suspicion before complying and popping it into his mouth. "What is it?" Not too bad. Kind of like anise and celery root.
"The Rivaini coral divers use it to enhance their lung capacity. I believe the same principle should work for altitude sickness."
"This is just embarrassing. Of course, _I'm_ the only one having problems." Sabhya touched his shoulder reassuringly.
"It's unpredictable, my friend. If it makes any difference, I'm fairly certain I saw Wynne giving herself a surreptitious rejuvenation."
"Huh. It kind of does, actually." He looked sidelong at his companion. "But you aren't having any issues?"
The little mage's eyes creased in humor.
"Alistair, my entire life tends to be an altitude issue."
**.oOo.**
* * *
**2. Flatus**
_Paarrp._
"Oh, for . . . Oghren, can't you save that for some other time?" Alistair fanned the air. "Like when we're not sharing a watch?"
"You know, pike-twirler, for someone who complains about girly dog-names, you act like a mighty big girl yourself."
"What? I do not!"
"Do too."
"Do not!"
"Prove it." Oghren rested his fists on his hips and grinned up at the young man. "We're both men here. You had the same glop for dinner as the rest of us. Or are you just going to hold it in like some prissy lady until you explode?"
"I- fine!"
Silence.
"I'm waiting."
"Give me a minute!"
_pfwee._
"Hah! Nice try, amateur!"
_Prraarrrp!_
The fire flared blue for a moment.
"Oh, yeah? Well, how about this-"
"What are you two arguing ab-?" Leliana had approached unnoticed with Zevran, and as Alistair began stammering incoherently she squeaked and clapped her hands over her nose. "Oh, Maker's _Breath_!"
"I sincerely hope not. If this is a sample of His breath," Zevran muttered, waving a hand, "it is no surprise He went into seclusion."
**.oOo.**
* * *
**3. Gears**
"Look! Look what I found in the Commons!" Alistair was grinning delightedly as he displayed his prize to Leliana and Zevran.
"A golem do- figurine?"
"This is different. Watch!" He twisted a button in the figure's back several revolutions, then set it on the floor.
_tictictictic_
The little feet worked up and down and the golem marched busily forward.
"Oh, how cute!"
"I admit, that is intriguing."
"Isn't it?" Alistair beamed. "Not magic, of course, since it's dwarf-made. It works on springs or something."
_tictictictic_
Blossom reared back at the toy's approach, then examined it suspiciously as it continued past.
"Ah, Alistair, you might want to-"
Snap!
"Hey!"
_tictictictic_
The little feet kicked helplessly from the corner of Blossom's mouth as the mabari happily avoided Alistair's grabs.
"Give that back! Come back here, you. Come on, drop it!"
Gulp.
"Aw . . . Blossom . . ."
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Leliana patted the dejected young man's hand. "But, well, he did swallow it whole. Maybe you can, um, recover it?"
"Yeah. No thanks. Somehow, I don't think that would be quite the same." Alistair directed a scowl at Blossom and headed for the door. "I'll just go see if there's one left and get another."
After the door not-quite-slammed behind Alistair, the other two looked at the dog, who returned their gaze indifferently and scratched thoroughly under his collar.
"Do you think it's still walking?" Leliana spoke after a thoughtful silence.
"If so, it gives 'bowel movement' an entirely new meaning, yes?"
**.oOo.**
* * *
**4. Flight**
Clad in trousers alone, Sabhya stands as far out as possible on the prow of the _Miravida, _gripping the rigging one-handed and bare feet secure against the wood. The impossibly blue water mirrors the sky to lend a dizzy, exhilarating sense of rushing through the air itself. He turns his face into the breeze, savoring the spray and the chill and the motion, feeling his spirit lift and spin like the companionable dolphins that swoop effortlessly through stray clouds of foam.
Zevran stands behind and to one side, ready to catch his Warden should he slip and enjoying the view - both of the trim body and of the look of sheer, exultant joy. He can see how every fiber of Sabhya's being yearns upward and outward, and in this moment he feels compassion that the mage never learned Morrigan's shape shifting magic.
Although, if he is honest with himself, he feels a measure of relief as well**.**
**.oOo.**
22. Coulomb's Law
_A response to Cheeky Monkey Epiphany Sola Gratia's 'Love Potion Number Nine' challenge. _
* * *
**22. Coulomb's Law**
**.o0o.**
The little vial glowed against the tree stump's surface, the pink reflection casting a faint tint over the faces gathered around.
"So this old Rivaini peddler just _gave _it to you? Just like that?" Alistair asked for perhaps the fourth time.
"Not exactly," Sabhya repeated patiently. "As I said, she was knocked over by a cart. I helped her to her feet and gathered her belongings for her. In return she pressed this upon me, most insistently in fact."
"'A key to your heart's deepest desire,'" quoted Leliana, eyes shining. "It's like a ballad come to life." Morrigan cast her eyes upward and Oghren guffawed.
"And you just took it." Wynne pursed her lips.
"It would have been rude not to, Senior Enchanter. I did offer her a sovereign."
"Which she so graciously accepted," Zevran commented dryly. Sabhya shrugged.
"Why not?" The little mage picked up the vial and studied the rosy contents. "It's clearly worth far more than a single gold piece. I ran some tests on a sample; it's a powerful charm spell with a strong, hm, erotic element." He rolled the oddly warm glass between his fingers before setting it back down with a sigh. "I'm not altogether certain what to do with it now, though."
"I'll take it." Several voices chorused. At Sabhya's startled glance the group shuffled and eyed each other accusingly.
"What?" Leliana protested. "Who wouldn't want a love potion?"
"Administering or receiving?" Zevran put in. "It could make a great deal of difference."
"Huh. What would _you_ need it for, Ser Greatest Lover In All Antiva? Or is that all just talk?"
"Not at all, my young friend. One is always open to new experiences, however, some of which I would be delighted to share with y-"
"No!"
Leliana giggled. "It might make a change from licking lamp-posts, Alistair." The young man turned bright red.
"What! How . . . no, I . . . Sabhya, you went and told...?"
"Certainly not, Alistair."
"My dear Alistair, in spite of all your admirable characteristics, you are sadly incapable of keeping your voice down." Zevran raised his brows. "Now, if other portions of your anatomy suffer the same complaint, perhaps you _would_ be the logical recipient of this intriguing brew."
"I . . .guh . . .bwah . . .nargh . . .!"
"Hah! I don't _need_ any pansy pink juice to get some action. Old Oghren's juices work just fine on their own." The dwarf hesitated. "Although . . . Felsi, now . . . " He scratched under his beard thoughtfully. "Maybe with a lichen ale chaser."
"As the most experienced mage present, it's only proper that _I_ should take charge of this _substance_. " Wynne drew herself up. "I will of course exercise the best judgment as to its most appropriate usage." Alistair, still glaring at Zevran, missed the oddly proprietary look she bent upon him, but the others sidled a few uncomfortable inches away from the elderly woman.
"Thank you, Senior Enchanter Wynne," Sabhya said carefully. "I'll be sure to take your suggestion under consideration."
"You know, this could even be useful tactically," the bard mused. Zevran flashed her a grin.
"The same thought had occurred to me. An overly alert sentry-"
"Or scouting party-"
"Or a barracks full of guards-"
"Spike their water supply-"
"And their wine-"
"Over-salt their food-"
"Take notes-"
_"Pashaara!" _Sten rumbled. "Foolishness. No warrior would allow himself to be distracted so."
"Indeed," Morrigan said sweetly. "Certainly no mighty Qunari warrior."
"Yes."
"'Twould be my pleasure to help you prove the point. Come, drink up."
" . . . "
"What, all mum?"
"Hey! Where's the vial?" Alistair glared around. "All right, which one of you took it?"
"'Twas not I, fool."
"My friend, your keen eye has been burning a hole through me this entire time."
"I'm afraid I wasn't paying attention."
"Stone take you, boy, I'm no thief."
"_Well! _I never! Young man-"
" . . . "
"Don't look at me!"
"People-"
"Well, you're the one who steals everything that isn't nailed down!"
"Not from anyone who matters!"
_Whff._
The agitated babble abruptly cut off and everyone froze. As one, they slowly turned their heads in dawning horror to behold Blossom sitting beside the stump.
He licked his chops and stared at them intently.
"Ohlookit'smyturntohunttonight-"
"Allowmetoaccompanyyoumydear-"
"Nowwhere'dIleavethatsoddingaleskin-"
"Ohmybetterturninearlytheseold-"
"_Vaashedan_-"
"Patrolgoingonpatrolyesthat'sitpatrol-"
In a matter of seconds, Sabhya was alone with Blossom and a few stray feathers drifting in the wake of Morrigan's hasty flight in raven form.
The little mage regarded his friend for a moment, then silently held out his hand. The Mabari blinked innocently.
"Blossom."
The dog ducked his head and spat the vial into Sabhya's palm.
"Thank you." Examining the unbroken seal, Sabhya shook his head. "This is easily as dangerous as a pitcher of Adder's Kiss." He rubbed Blossom's neck as he tucked the vial into a pocket. "Let's go empty it out downstream. If nothing else, a year from now this spot may have the finest trout fishing in the country."
His eyes twinkled.
"That is, unless you think you need it?"
Blossom's answering snort was redolent with smug disdain.
"No, I rather thought not."
**.o0o.**
* * *
_A/N: Coulomb's law concerns the electrostatic force of attraction and repulsion. His experiments involved metal balls. And fluids. _
_Nudge, nudge, wink, wink._
23. Fever
_A/N: Fanart! The ridiculously awesomely talented Champion the Wonder Snail created this portrait of Sabhya and Blossom that has left me flailing in incoherent joy. :D experimentalgerbil. deviantart. com /art / Blossoming-Friendship-coloured-290101247 Please check out her fiction here and her art on deviant art - you'll be glad you did!_
* * *
**23. Fever**
**.o0o.**
Sabhya tucked his satchel under his arm and tapped on the door, hearing brisk footsteps approach before Wynne swung it open.
"How's our patient?" He spoke quietly, flicking a glance at the anonymous mound on the bed. The elderly woman tsked in exasperation.
"I wish you luck getting him to cooperate." She frowned over her shoulder, then shook her head. "I'd say it was like dealing with a spoiled child, except Maker have pity on any parent whose child has a mouth like _that._"
"Ah. Well, I very much appreciate your consideration, Senior Enchanter, thank you. The innkeeper is keeping something warm for you to eat; please, go on down and get some rest. I'll take over the remainder of the night."
Wynne nodded and looked around as she stepped into the passage. "Dare I ask where that Mabari of yours has disappeared to?"
Sabhya chuckled. "Blossom is holding court amongst the innkeeper's four little girls and garnering so many treats he may have difficulty walking in the morning. Alistair's becoming more than a little jealous, I'm afraid. Sleep well." He waited until she started down the stairs and then moved into the room, closing the door behind him.
After first tending the fire on the tiny hearth, he moved to the bedside table and examined the untouched contents of the cup Wynne had left. He sniffed, tasted, and with a faint grimace set it well aside and began making selections from his satchel.
"I have already told you," Zevran's petulant voice was muffled under the covers, "that I will not drink that vile brew even if you ask me to suckle it from that magnificent bosom of yours."
Sabhya's eyebrows rose. "I'll bear that in mind," he said mildly, taking up the pitcher and pouring water into a metal pannikin. He cupped his hands around it and concentrated as the thin blanket flipped down to reveal a tousled blond head.
"My dear Warden, how long have you been here?" Zevran wobbled as he levered himself up on one elbow and watched with over-bright and slightly unfocused eyes while steam began to rise between Sabhya's hands.
"Not very long." With a sidelong smile at Zevran the little mage dropped a muslin packet into a clean mug and poured the now-hot water over it to steep. He turned, and with a murmured, "If I may," perched on the edge of the bed and touched his wrist to the elf's forehead. "Did you really say that to Wynne?" he added.
"Certainly I did."
"I expect she wasn't best pleased." Long fingers passed under Zevran's jaw to check his pulse.
"She asked if I preferred to have it poured over me, whereupon I pointed out that since it already tasted as though it had been rinsed through someone's _culo_ it could only serve as an improvement."
Sabhya's lips twitched.
"I am nothing if not honest."
"I daresay. Here, sit forward a moment, please." He heaped the bolsters into a more supportive shape and eased Zevran back before rising to check the tea. Satisfied, he pressed the liquid out of the herb packet and stirred in a few drops from a vial. "Hopefully you'll find this less distasteful. I've never subscribed to the philosophy that medicine must taste dreadful in order to be effective." He resumed his seat and handed the mug to Zevran, who was shivering despite the coziness of the small room.
"Mm." The elf sipped listlessly. "Spearmint and rosehips?"
"Among other things."
"Speaking of _culos,_ if you care to volunteer yours I would be delighted to raise your temperature as well."
"No, thank you all the same."
"Eh, admittedly, that was not my most eloquent invitation."
"I'm afraid not, but I appreciate the effort. Try to take four good swallows, please."
"Taskmaster." Zevran took a couple of mouthfuls and held the mug against his bare chest, head lolling as his eyes wandered distractedly around the room. "Someone moved the trireme."
Sabhya followed the direction of his gaze to the hearthrug and looked back.
"Twenty oar seated, fiddlehead scroll prow, scarlet lateen sails. The hull was a bright yellow varnish," he gestured vaguely, "which clashed terribly with the sails."
"A mahogany stain would have been more tasteful," Sabhya said gravely, reaching out to steady the drooping mug. "Just one more, please."
"As gaudy as a Satinalia parade . . ." He obediently drank and closed his eyes as Sabhya removed the cup. "Someone should tell them. . ." His voice faded.
Sabhya waited a few moments before standing and drawing the blanket up to cover the elf's shoulders. He then returned to the items on the table, quietly preparing another tisane and a cooling compress. For a time only an occasional clink and the faint puffs of Zevran's breathing were to be heard over the whispering fire.
"Nnn . . ." A faint moan of distress.
Sabhya was at the bedside immediately. Zevran's lids were flickering, his breath coming in quick, harsh pants.
". . . _no . . . maestro . . ." _
"Ze-"
The elf's eyes snapped open. "_Joder! _Crows!" He snatched up a dagger concealed between mattress and bedstead and flung himself across the room to plunge the blade into the wall. "_. . . de puta madre!"_
Sabhya followed, retrieving the discarded sheath along the way. Zevran stood, swaying and wild-eyed, leaning his weight against the weapon's hilt.
"Zevran." The mage gently cupped his fingers over the other's white knuckled grip. "My friend, hear me. No Crows are here. Only you and I."
"No. You are wrong. They will always be here. _Always._" With a jerky movement Zevran tried to shove the blade deeper. "Always . . ." He whispered raggedly.
Sabhya's eyes filled with compassion. "I know." He rested his other hand on the shivering man's shoulder, feeling the muscles jump and strain under the fevered skin. "But we'll keep them at bay. And here and now, they can't harm you. Let yourself be at ease. It's all right."
Zevran's hair fell forward to curtain his face as his head sagged and his tense energy drained away. After a long moment he asked plaintively, "Truly?"
The smaller man tightened his grip. "You have my word." He carefully worked the dagger free, sheathed it and offered it to Zevran, who blinked at the weapon uncomprehendingly before rousing and accepting it. The mage then hooked the drooping elf's arm over his shoulder and walked him back to the bed.
"I am naked." Zevran observed in a conversational tone.
"So I see."
"More to the point," Zevran continued as Sabhya helped him swing his legs up, "Why are you not naked?"
"Perhaps some other time."
"Is that a promise?" The assassin watched Sabhya return the dagger to its hiding place, then came dangerously close to rolling off the mattress as he reached to check its positioning.
"We'll see."
"Ah, you cannot trick me." Zevran's accusing finger wavered across several points of the compass until Sabhya steadied it for him. "_Gracias. _'We will see' is what the little aunties say when they really mean, 'No, but I plan to wait until you have forgotten you asked.'"
"No auntie, I," responded Sabhya in amusement, pouring some water and seating himself, "although 'little' can't be denied."
"That remains to be seen, does it not?"
Sabhya intercepted an exploratory hand and firmly tucked it under the blanket with a shake of his head.
"Tyrant."
"As you say." He held the mug for Zevran to drink and turned to exchange it for the waiting compress. "Now I most tyrannically suggest that you should try to sleep some more."
A subtle fragrance of mint and lavender arose as Sabhya wrung out the soft cloth, and Zevran listened to the liquid drip back into the basin.
"I do not like the shapes behind my eyelids," he confessed in a small voice.
"Ah." Sabhya folded the cloth and stroked it over the elf's flushed cheeks and neck before pressing it to his forehead. "Then we'll make the shapes into something more pleasing." He paused, looking into cherished memory, and began to speak quietly.
"These are tales my Amah told me, as she was herself told in her day, and as others will tell again.
"A jackal once prowled in search of food, his belly so empty he feared it would meet his spine . . ."
The faint, musical lilt behind the gentle baritone became more pronounced as he continued, and Zevran drifted in and out of consciousness while the little mage told him of the Jackal and the Drum, of the War Between the Birds, of the Silver Whistle, of Lightfoot and Brings-Joy. The logs in the hearth had long slumped into embers when Sabhya ceased to speak, listening to the silence of the small hours.
With some relief he noted the more natural breathing and color of his patient, and the dewy feel of his skin told the mage that the fever had finally broken. Preparing to apply the refreshed compress, he delicately smoothed the sleeping man's hair back from his face.
"That is most soothing." Zevran murmured without opening his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
"Hm-mm." His head stirred in drowsy negative. "You did not. Do not stop . . ."
"How are you feeling?" Sabhya obligingly drew his fingertips across Zevran's forehead and through his hair.
"Weak. Tired. Relaxed as a babe in . . . at a . . . "
"A magnificent bosom?"
"Heh. That would depend upon the bosom."
"Ah, well, I find myself lacking in that particular area."
"All the same," Zevran turned his cheek into the pillow with a sigh. "You are magnificent nonetheless."
24. Meanwhile
_In case anyone is interested, a companion piece to 'Mabari & Magus' is now up. 'The Long Road' follows Sabhya from his pre-game origins through the Blight. _
* * *
**24. Meanwhile**
**.o0o.**
Morrigan slipped into the building and silently closed the door behind her. Even to one who could assume a bear's shape, the freezing rain lent the comfortable inn an undeniable appeal. It did not follow, however, that she felt called upon to suffer crowds of bodies and staring eyes. With luck, at this hour the common room should be relatively empty.
"Girls!" The innkeeper's voice carried from the kitchen. "Are Joana and Andrea still in the common room?"
"Yes, Mum." Two dark-haired girl children answered in unison over their shoulders as they hurried through the doorway, carrying between them an enormous platter heaped with wedges of cheese. Their whispered conference floated to Morrigan's ears as they preceded her along the hall.
"You took too much! Mum's going to kill you."
"But it's his _favorite _and he loves it so! And he's all _alone_ and he looks so _sad._"
"And he's so _handsome_. Maybe he'll give us a kiss." The two dissolved into giggles.
The witch rolled her eyes. Well, having to listen to infantile gushing over the ex-Templar fool was certainly one way to quell an appetite.
She entered the common room close on the girls' heels. Sure enough, a distinctly sulky-looking Alistair was sitting alone at a table nursing a tankard. He looked up, scowled at sight of Morrigan, and then his gaze fell upon the mountain of cheese. Instantly, his expression transfigured to a rapture normally associated with the second coming of Andraste, and as the girls approached, he extended both hands in dreamy bliss. . .
And froze as the girls, bobbing curtseys without breaking their stride, continued on past to the corner where an insufferably smug looking Blossom lay in state with two other little girls fussing over him, the smallest actually lying along his back with her arms wrapped around his neck.
"Oo, here, you'll like this!"
"Let me!"
Blossom graciously accepted the offering with thumping tail amidst a flurry of giggles and caresses.
"Aw, good doggie!"
"It's my turn-"
"Eee, he's kissing me!"
"I wuv Bwossum!"
Morrigan raised an eloquent brow and looked sidelong at Alistair, who slumped petulantly and glared at the table.
"Stupid animal."
Blossom rose majestically to his feet and shook himself, the little one clinging limpet-tight and squealing with glee.
"Argh - Hey!"
Alistair groped for a cloth to wipe the gobbet of drool out of his ear as a chorus of four – no, _five_ voices rose in girlish laughter.
"Maker, I hate that dog."
"I wuv Bwossum!"
25. Eye of the Beholder
_Best wishes for the season to all, and especially to the brilliant souls of CMDA._
* * *
**25. Eye of the Beholder**
**.o0o.**
_Thomp._
Zevran lowered the blade he was tending and regarded the lump of rock at his feet.
"Gratified as I am by your attention, sadly I am otherwise occupied at present," he told Blossom.
The dog merely sat and scratched thoroughly under his shoulder.
"Ah? _Bien._ Just as well. A rock that so closely approaches the size of my head would be inconvenient for casual tossing. Not to mention-" Leaning forward, Zevran prodded it dubiously. "The customary overabundance of lubrication." He eyed the glutinous string trailing from his fingertip with fastidious disapproval, and then brightened.
"Perhaps tonight you will confine your attentions to this and spare my leathers your salivary predation?"
_Awooworrauuaiee-pwffch!_
"I will take that as a 'no.'"
_Whff._
"_Brasca._"
**.o0o.**
"Oh, no, no, _no!_ Do _not_ drop that filthy thing onto my—"
_Thumprnkl._
"—books." Wynne sighed.
**.o0o.**
"Oh, who's a good dog?"
_Thomp._
"You are. Yes, you are."
_Awoo._
"And so talkative. What a clever boy you are. Yes, who has a nice rock? You do, yes you do. Do you want a nice bikkie? So much nicer to eat than rocks – or shoes. Yes, it is."
**.o0o.**
Alistair heaved a put-upon sigh as Blossom approached, juggling a rock temptingly, to sit before him.
"Always with the rocks."
_Crch-slcrch-crch._
"I mean, seriously, it's a _rock._"
_Crch-crch._
"Why can't you play like a normal dog? Get a stick. Or a ball. Or a bone. A rock is ju—"
_Thunk!_
"_Aargh! _My _foot!_"
**.o0o.**
_Thomp._
"Heh, that's right." Oghren picked up the chunk of rock and hefted it broodingly. "Nothing like a piece of Stone for a _real_ game."
_Whff._
"Guess it figures a hairy bronto like you would understand that. Not like all these other surfacers. Never had living Stone under their feet, nothing overhead where it belongs. Just that weird, water-dripping nothingness. Open . . empty . . . unending . . . _ergh_." The dwarf squeezed his eyes shut, his face suddenly gone chalky, and gripped the rock in both hands.
"I think I'll just . . . hold onto this . . . for a while."
**.o0o.**
_Thomp._
"Enchantment?"
_Whff._
"En-_chant_-ment!"
**.o0o.**
"It is a rock."
_Thomp._
"Why did you bring me this rock? It is inadequate as a weapon and not the right kind for a fire starter. It serves no purpose."
_Whff._
"I do not understand. Why do you carry it around? Why should I? Is it some kind of training exercise?"
_Rrwhff._
"It seems inefficient."
_Rrrrf._
**.o0o.**
"Hmmph. Well, 'tis preferable to finding a rotting coney in my spare smallclothes."
**.o0o.**
_Thomp._
Sabhya put aside the elfroot he had been cleaning and obligingly picked up the rock to throw it, but was forestalled when Blossom flopped down to lie across his leg. Chuckling, the mage rubbed his friend's massive head and idly perused the stone in his hand.
Clods of damp earth dropped, dark and rich with the promise of new growth, and flecks of mica glinted as he turned it. A spill of milky quartzite threaded its way through a miniature landscape of grey-dark crags and ravines marked, rune like, with the white cross-hatching from scraping fangs. Each glassy bubble of froth was adorned with a tiny window of iridescence that quivered and slid under the slightest stirring of air.
Sabhya smiled.
"It's beautiful. Thank you."
**.o0o.**
End file.
| fanfiction |
the discovery of extrasolar planets during the past decade has confronted astronomers with many new challenges .
the diverse and surprising dynamical characteristics of many of these objects have made scientists wonder to what extent the current theories of planet formation can be applied to other planetary systems . a major challenge of planetary science is now to explain how such planets were formed , how they acquired their unfamiliar dynamical state , and whether they can be habitable . among the unfamiliar characteristics of the currently known extrasolar planetary systems , the existence of systems with multiple planets in which jovian - type bodies are in eccentric and close - in orbits , and the existence of jupiter - like planets in multi - star systems are particularly interesting .
as shown in figure 1 , at the present , 26 extrasolar planetary systems contain more than one giant planet .
also , as shown in table 1 , more than 20% of planet - hosting stars are members of binary systems .
the formation of terrestrial - class objects in such planetary systems , and the possibility of their long - term stability in the habitable zones of their host stars are strongly affected by the dynamical perturbations of the giant planets and/or the stellar companions .
whether such _ `` extreme '' _ planetary environments can be potential hosts to habitable planets is the subject of this paper .
i will review the possibility of the long - term stability of terrestrial - class objects in some of multi - planet systems , and review the current status of research on planet formation in dual - star environments .
, width=480 ]
in order for a planetary system to be habitable , an earth - like planet has to maintain its orbit in the habitable zone ( hz ) of the system s central star for a long time .
this condition requires that the orbital eccentricity of a habitable planet to be close to zero and its interactions with other bodies of the system do not disturb its long - term stability . in a multi - planet system , these conditions may not be easily satisfied .
the dynamics of an object in such systems is strongly affected by other planets and the habitability of a terrestrial planet may be influenced by the perturbations from giant bodies .
the latter is more significant in systems where the orbits of giant planets are close to the habitable zone .
the planetary systems of @xmath0 andromedae ( hz=1.68 - 2 au ) , 47 uma ( hz=1.16 - 1.41 au ) , gj 876 ( hz=0.1 - 0.13 au ) , and 55 cancri ( hz=0.72 - 0.87 au ) are of this kind . in a recent article ( * ? ? ? * ( rivera & haghighipour , 2007 ) ) , we studied the stability of terrestrial - class objects in these systems by numerically integrating the orbits of several hundred test particles , uniformly distributed along the @xmath1-axis , in initial circular orbits .
figure 2 shows the graphs of the lifetimes of these particles for 10 myr . as shown here , unlike the stable orbit of the newly discovered earth - like planet of gj 876 ( * ? ? ?
* ( rivera et al . , 2005 ) ) , the orbit of the small close - in planet of 55 cnc , as reported by ( * ? ? ?
* mcarthur et al . ( 2004 ) ) is unstable .
our results also indicate that it is unlikely that @xmath0 andromedae and gj 876 harbor habitable planets .
this has also been confirmed by the direct integration of the orbit of an earth - sized object in the habitable zone of the system by ( * ? ? ?
* dove & haghighipour ( 2006 ) ) .
the two systems of 47 uma and 55 cnc , however , have stable habitable zones , although direct integrations of actual earth - like objects in these systems are necessary to confirm their habitability .
the results of our test particle simulations also indicated the capability of 55 cnc system in harboring stable planet(s ) in the region between 0.7 au and 2.2 au .
as shown by ( * ? ? ?
* fischer et al . ( 2007 ) ) and as in figure 2 , the newly discovered neptune - sized planet of this system is located in this region .
.extrasolar planet - hosting stars in binary systems ( * ? ? ?
* ( haghighipour 2006 ) ) [ cols="<,<,<,<",options="header " , ] andromedae ( top left , hz=1.68 - 2 au ) , gj 876 ( top right , hz=0.1 - 0.3 au ) , 47 uma ( bottom left , hz=1.16 - 1.41 ) , and 55 cnc ( bottom right-0.72 - 0.87 au ) . the graphs and habitable zones are from ( * ? ? ? * rivera & haghighipour ( 2007 ) ) .
the islands of stability and instability , with their corresponding mean - motion resonances with the inner and/or outer planet are also shown .
as shown here , the habitable zones of @xmath0 andromedae and gj 876 are unstable implying that the planetary systems of these stars will not be habitable .
the habitable zones of 47 uma and 55 cnc , on the other hand , are stable . also as shown here , the recently detected earth - like planet of gj 876 ( * ? ? ?
* ( rivera et al . 2005 ) ) , and the newly discovered fifth planet of 55 cnc ( * ? ? ?
* ( fischer et al . 2007 ) ) are in stable orbits .
[ fig2],title="fig:",width=249 ] andromedae ( top left , hz=1.68 - 2 au ) , gj 876 ( top right , hz=0.1 - 0.3 au ) , 47 uma ( bottom left , hz=1.16 - 1.41 ) , and 55 cnc ( bottom right-0.72 - 0.87 au ) . the graphs and habitable zones are from ( * ? ? ? * rivera & haghighipour ( 2007 ) ) .
the islands of stability and instability , with their corresponding mean - motion resonances with the inner and/or outer planet are also shown .
as shown here , the habitable zones of @xmath0 andromedae and gj 876 are unstable implying that the planetary systems of these stars will not be habitable .
the habitable zones of 47 uma and 55 cnc , on the other hand , are stable .
also as shown here , the recently detected earth - like planet of gj 876 ( * ? ? ?
* ( rivera et al . 2005 ) ) , and the newly discovered fifth planet of 55 cnc ( * ? ? ?
* ( fischer et al . 2007 ) ) are in stable orbits .
[ fig2],title="fig:",width=249 ] andromedae ( top left , hz=1.68 - 2 au ) , gj 876 ( top right , hz=0.1 - 0.3 au ) , 47 uma ( bottom left , hz=1.16 - 1.41 ) , and 55 cnc ( bottom right-0.72 - 0.87 au ) . the graphs and habitable zones are from ( * ? ? ? * rivera & haghighipour ( 2007 ) ) .
the islands of stability and instability , with their corresponding mean - motion resonances with the inner and/or outer planet are also shown .
as shown here , the habitable zones of @xmath0 andromedae and gj 876 are unstable implying that the planetary systems of these stars will not be habitable . the habitable zones of 47 uma and 55 cnc , on the other hand , are stable . also as shown here , the recently detected earth - like planet of gj 876 ( * ? ? ?
* ( rivera et al . 2005 ) ) , and the newly discovered fifth planet of 55 cnc ( * ? ? ?
* ( fischer et al . 2007 ) ) are in stable orbits .
[ fig2],title="fig:",width=249 ] andromedae ( top left , hz=1.68 - 2 au ) , gj 876 ( top right , hz=0.1 - 0.3 au ) , 47 uma ( bottom left , hz=1.16 - 1.41 ) , and 55 cnc ( bottom right-0.72 - 0.87 au ) .
the graphs and habitable zones are from ( * ? ? ?
* rivera & haghighipour ( 2007 ) ) .
the islands of stability and instability , with their corresponding mean - motion resonances with the inner and/or outer planet are also shown .
as shown here , the habitable zones of @xmath0 andromedae and gj 876 are unstable implying that the planetary systems of these stars will not be habitable .
the habitable zones of 47 uma and 55 cnc , on the other hand , are stable . also as shown here , the recently detected earth - like planet of gj 876 ( * ? ? ?
* ( rivera et al . 2005 ) ) , and the newly discovered fifth planet of 55 cnc ( * ? ? ?
* ( fischer et al . 2007 ) ) are in stable orbits . [ fig2],title="fig:",width=249 ]
as shown in table 1 , more than 20% of currently known planet - hosting stars are members of binary systems ( * ? ? ?
* ( haghighipour 2006 ) ) .
many of these systems are wide with separations ranging from 200 au to 6000 au . in such systems , the perturbative effect of
the stellar companion is negligible and planet formation around the other star may proceed in the similar fashion as around a single star .
there are , however , three binary systems , namely , gl 86 ( * ? ? ? * ( els et al 2001 ) ) , @xmath2 cephei ( * ? ? ?
* ( hatzes et al 2003 ) ) , and hd 41004 ( * ? ? ?
* ; * ? ? ?
* ( zucker et al 2004 , raghavan et al 2006 ) ) , in which the primary star is host to a jovian - type planet and the binary separation is smaller than 20 au . how these planets were formed , and whether such _ binary - planetary _ systems can be habitable are now among major theoretical challenges of planetary dynamics .
planet formation in close binary systems is strongly affected by the perturbation of the binary companion .
this star may remove planet - forming material by truncating the primary s circumstellar disk ( * ? ? ? * ( artymowicz & lubow 1994 ) ) and destabilizing the regions where planetesimals and protoplanets may under go collisional growth ( * ? ? ? * ( thbault et al 2004 ) ) . in binary systems where the primary hosts a giant planet , the perturbative effect of the planetary companion will also affect the growth of protoplanetary objects .
however , as shown by numerical integrations of the orbits of earth - sized planets in @xmath2 cephei system ( * ? ? ?
* ( haghighipour 2006 ) ) , it is possible for a terrestrial - class body to maintain a long - term stable orbit at distances close to the primary star and outside the giant planet s influence zone .
figure 3 shows the graph of the lifetime of an earth - sized object in the system of @xmath2 cephei . as shown here
, the hz of the system is unstable .
however , an earth - like planet can main a stable orbit close to the primary star .
cephei system .
the giant planet of the system ( 1.67 jupiter - mass ) is at 2.13 au with an eccentricity of 0.12 . as shown here
, the hz of the system is unstable .
however , a terrestrial - class object can maintain a long - term orbit at close distances to the primary star ( * ? ? ?
* ( haghighipour 2006 ) ) .
[ fig3],width=384 ] based on the results of the simulations shown in figure 3 , we recently studied habitable planet formation in moderately closed binary star systems that host giant planets ( * ? ? ?
* ( haghighipour & raymond 2007 ) ) .
we simulated the late stage of terrestrial planet formation for different values of the semimajor axis and orbital eccentricity of the binary , as well as different binary mass - ratios .
our system consisted of a sun - like star as the primary , a disk of protoplanetary bodies with 120 moon- to mars - sized objects distributed randomly between 0.5 au and 4 au , and a jupiter - sized planet at 5 au . to study the effect of the orbital dynamics of the secondary star on the formation of planets in the hz of the primary and their water contents
, we considered the orbit of the giant planet to be circular and assumed that the distribution of water in the protoplanetary disk is similar to those of the primitive asteroids in the asteroid belt .
figure 4 shows some of the results for binary mass - ratios @xmath3 . as shown here , it is possible to form earth - like objects with substantial amount of water in the hz of the primary star .
the sizes of these planets and their water contents vary with the semimajor axis and eccentricity of the stellar companion . in binaries where the secondary star has a small periastron
, the interaction between this object and the giant planet of the system , which transfers angular momentum to the disk of planetary embryos , causes many of these bodies to be ejected from the system . as a result , in closer and eccentric binaries , the final planets are smaller and contain less or no water .
figure 5 shows the relation between the periastron of the binary @xmath4 and the semimajor axis of the outermost terrestrial planet @xmath5 . as shown in the left graph of figure 5 , similar to (
* quintana et al ( 2007 ) ) , simulations with no giant planets favor regions interior to @xmath6 for the formation of terrestrial objects .
that means , around a sun - like star , where the inner edge of the habitable zone is at @xmath7 au , a stellar companion with a perihelion distance smaller than 0.9/0.19 = 4.7 au would not allow habitable planet formation . in simulations with giant planets ,
on the other hand , figure 5 shows that terrestrial planets form closer - in .
the ratio @xmath8 in these systems is between 0.06 and 0.13 . a detailed analysis of our simulations
also indicate that the systems , in which habitable planets were formed , have large periastra .
the right graph of figure 5 shows this for simulations in a binary with equal - mass sun - like stars .
the circles in this figure represent systems with habitable planets .
the numbers on the top of the circles show the mean eccentricity of the giant planet . for comparison ,
systems with unstable giant planets have also been marked . since at the beginning of each simulation ,
the orbit of the giant planet was considered to be circular , a non - zero eccentricity is indicative of the interaction of this body with the secondary star . as shown here ,
earth - like objects are formed in systems where the interaction between the giant planet and the secondary star is weak and the average eccentricity of the giant planet is small .
that implies , habitable planet formation is more favorable in binaries with moderate to large perihelia , and with giant planets on low eccentricity orbits .
space for a habitable binary - planetary system ( * ? ? ?
* ( haghighipour & raymond 2007 ) ) .
[ fig5],title="fig:",width=240 ] space for a habitable binary - planetary system ( * ? ? ? * ( haghighipour & raymond 2007 ) ) .
[ fig5],title="fig:",width=240 ] | arxiv |
Evangelion For the Future
**All I can do is watch.**
**I don't have a single muscle under my control. I can't move the arms, or the legs, or the jaw. I can't even twitch an ear.**
**So I watch. And I listen.**
**I understand what the ears hear and the eyes read, even though I shouldn't. But even without that, there are clues.**
**A dilapidated apartment. Familiar clothes. A glimpse of a reflection as the body moves about - no more than a glimpse, because I can't turn or even focus the eyes, but enough to catch, or think I catch, the hair color. Cicadas louder than any I can remember ever hearing. A middle school with student uniforms, the girls' matching the clothes this body's wearing. A class representative with familiar pigtails. The body showing familiar mannerisms - ignoring everyone else, spending the bulk of class staring out the window.**
**By nine in the morning, I know where I am. It's a modern city, with skyscrapers, computers, and fully stocked convenience stores, and it was built on top of an enormous artificial cavern called "the Geofront." The whole thing was designed as a fortress, but its designers weren't worried about human armies. The city used to be called Hakone, but now it's Tokyo-3.**
**That's the where. _When_ is only slightly harder. There are too many people: Most desks have students at them. And there are too _few_ people: Two are apparently missing. One of the two definitely is. The other would be easier to overlook, but I don't think I have.**
**And there's a topic missing from all the conversations I eavesdrop on between classes and at lunch, one that at least some people should be talking about. And on the way back to the apartment after school, I don't see what I resolved at lunch to keep an eye out for. Given how visible it should be from anywhere in the city and the fact that the eyes look in pretty much every compass direction over the course of the walk home, that conclusively rules out one section of time.**
**I know the where. I probably know the when. And I know the who.**
**But I don't know the how. And I don't know the why.**
* * *
For the Future
by Shay Guy
Chapter 1
* * *
"You're proceeding nicely, Rei," Ritsuko Akagi said over the intercom as she thumbed through a printout. "Looks like you'll be just about ready when we perform the activation test."
Rei Ayanami gave no response. She was busy forcing LCL from her lungs. Some would have found this revolting, but she had had plenty of practice, having had to breathe the orange liquid probably more often than anyone else in the world. The synchronization tests like today's alone numbered more than she cared to count.
"There's just one thing I'd like to discuss with you," Dr. Akagi continued. "Could you drop by my office after you've changed clothes?"
It wasn't a typical request. But it was hardly surprising, all things considered. The activation test was in three days, and while nobody mentioned it, everyone in NERV's Project E team understood that the fate of millions could depend on its outcome.
Rei straightened up. "Yes, ma'am," she said.
Remove the rubbery, full-body plugsuit in the locker room. Shower just long enough to remove most of the LCL from her skin and her azure hair. Dress in her school uniform again, one of the few pieces of 'civilian' clothing - or any clothing - that she owned. Just like always.
Rei knew her classmates at the local middle school didn't go through this. She knew they weren't constantly studied by a top-secret paramilitary organization. She knew they had fathers instead of scientists and commanding officers. And she was quite certain they didn't have to take the medications she did to sustain their lives.
Rei had known she was different as long as she could remember.
She reached Dr. Akagi's office three minutes after finishing getting dressed. Unlike the enormous metal "Cages" where the sync tests were held, the office was small, though its sparse furnishings made it look larger. Dr. Akagi was seated at the desk, her back to the door so Rei could only see her lab coat and blonde hair.
Rei waited a moment to see if Dr. Akagi would realize she was there before speaking. "Dr. Akagi."
"Ah, Rei." The chair swiveled around to face her. "Glad you came. I was hoping to get some insight." Dr. Akagi was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes. She reached to her side and took a clipboard from her desk. "Do you know what this is?" she asked Rei, indicating a chart on one of the attached sheets of paper.
"An ego borderline graph."
"Exactly. Namely, yours. It was recorded at your last sync test, and the recordings from earlier ones are similar." She turned the clipboard back toward herself, turning to another page. "Today's was rather different."
Rei was puzzled. "How so?" she asked.
Dr. Akagi's smile vanished, replaced with a puzzled frown. "Well," she said, "for want of a better term, it's..._doubled_."
"Doubled?"
Dr. Akagi showed her the clipboard again. The graph shown was much more erratic than the first. "We couldn't make sense out of what we were getting at first, but I eventually figured out that it could be decompiled into two separate signals - one dominant, one subordinate. Like a two-layered borderline." She turned another page, revealing two more graphs. "The dominant one matches the readings we've gotten from you before, but the subordinate one doesn't look like anyone's on record." She set the clipboard back down on her desk, eyes focused on Rei. "Rei, do you know what might have caused this?"
"No," Rei said truthfully.
"Has anything unusual happened to you over the past few days? Have you found yourself thinking strangely? Or missing any long periods of time from your memory?"
"No." Rei couldn't think of anything that might be connected to this. Her sense of identity hadn't wavered, and the introductory texts on metaphysical biology she'd read had given no indication that anything like this was even possible. "Nothing."
"I see." Dr. Akagi drummed the fingers of her left hand on her desk. "You might be interested to know that your sync ratio came out erratically, too. It seems you were doing two simultaneous syncronizations, one associated with each layer. The dominant sync ratio was about what I'd have expected. The subordinate one, on the other hand, had long stretches of complete inactivity, alternating with periods that showed syncronization, but at much lower levels than your own - below the limit required to make the Eva move, in fact. I don't suppose you can explain this, either?"
"No. I can't."
"Hmm." The smile suddenly returned. "Well, it shouldn't affect your performance in the activation test. It's simple enough to reprogram the system to separate the signals automatically. The extra layer might even be gone entirely by then - the MAGI still haven't ruled out the possibility of a glitch on their part." She swiveled her chair back to face her computer. "That'll be all for now. I'll see you on Monday, then."
Rei didn't give the strange readings much more thought on the way back to her apartment. They were far from the first anomalous result NERV had gotten examining her. It was just another instance of what she knew more fundamentally that anything else: There were other people, and there were her. She would always be the Other. She would always be different. The wall separating her from them would exist as long as she did.
The apartment where she lived was in a building that was nearly falling apart. After closing its door behind her and removing her shoes, she set her book bag down by her bed and removed the materials she had planned to study. She stood up, turning to walk to her desk.
**So they've found me, then.**
Rei froze.
The books and notebooks she had been holding hit the floor. She barely noticed; she hadn't even realized she'd dropped them.
**Wait...did you hear me say that?**
She hadn't, she realized. Not with her ears. The voice - male, it sounded like - had spoken directly to her mind. She turned on the spot slowly, scanning the room to see where it might have come from.
**You did. You actually heard me. I didn't imagine it. At least, assuming I'm not imagining all of this. But wait, why didn't she hear me before?**
She couldn't see the source anywhere, or get any sense of where it was coming from. She started walking to the opposite end of the room, trying to "listen" as best as she could.
**No, hang on, is she still hearing this? Rei, nod if you can hear me.**
Rei nodded absentmindedly, straining to focus. There was no difference she could tell, it may as well have been coming from inside her own head.
**OK, still talking out loud. But I was thinking verbally before, and she didn't hear me until we came in here. The apartment? No, or she'd have heard me yesterday. Maybe if-**
The voice cut out. Rei forced herself to exhale - she hadn't even realized she'd been holding her breath. She inhaled again, shakily, and managed to start breathing normally again.
The voice returned a minute later. **-this, then. Can you hear this?**
Rei nodded.
**All right. I guess I was overthinking it.**
She found her voice again. "Are you one of the Angels?" It sounded calmer than she'd thought it would.
**I...** A pause. **I'm not sure. I don't think so. I might be.**
"What do you mean?"
**I don't know how to find out for sure. I know what I remember, but I don't think I can trust my memory. Tabris might know.**
"Then what are you?" Rei's fear was receding, with suspicion rising to replace it.
**I'm pretty sure I'm what Ritsuko saw in your head. You and me, two minds, two people. One body.**
Rei reached for the pocket that held her cell phone.
**No! Wait! Don't!**
She took the phone out. "I can call Dr. Akagi right now and have her working on a way to get rid of you within the hour," she said, trying to remember the times she'd heard the Commander use his intimidation techniques.
**I know you can. Don't. Please.**
"And why shouldn't I?"
**Because...** Another pause. **Look. Right now, things are on a path. I know where this path goes. And I don't want it to go there. I can push things away, maybe. If Ritsuko and Gendo don't know what I am or what my plans are. If they're willing to leave me alone, for a while at least. But I need your help. I can't change how things go on my own, not like this.**
She narrowed her eyes, hoping that the voice would be able to see it. "And why should I help you work against NERV?" she asked, raising her voice a bit.
The voice took a few seconds to respond, and it seemed quieter when it did. **Because if you don't, this will end with Gendo dying within a year. Maybe half a year. Alone in Terminal Dogma, full of regrets.**
That stopped her.
Commander Gendo Ikari was the supreme leader of NERV. He had been part of her life as long as she could remember - probably from the beginning. She heard people talking about him sometimes, some wary, some grumbling, some outright afraid. He didn't show them the smiles he'd shown her. He had never taken care of them like he had taken care of her - brought her clothes, read her books, held her hand when she was nervous.
It had been a long time since he'd done any of that. In the years since she'd been moved into the apartment, he had rarely even spoken to her, let alone smiled at her. It had hurt and confused her, but she'd never stopped hoping. She'd never stopped trying to make him happy. And she didn't want him to die.
**You'll be part of it,** the voice continued. **It'll happen just a few minutes after he shoots Ritsuko. And then you'll die a few minutes after that, and everyone else with you.**
"How do I know you're telling the truth?"
**Good question. You don't. You can't. But I can tell you things. Like what the Angels look like, that'd be pretty hard for me to just guess randomly, wouldn't it? So I can prove I know things. But until then, I'll need you to trust me.**
Trust. As far as she could remember, Rei had only ever really trusted one person, Commander Ikari. But if it was his life at stake...
She sat down on her bed and was silent for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do. She had never prepared for this sort of thing. For all she knew, the voice could be a telepathic Angel trying to take over her body, reading her mind to discern her fears and use them against her. But that didn't explain some of the details, which didn't seem like they'd been crafted for that. Like shooting Dr. Akagi, or the offhand reference to someone called 'Tabris.' Unless those were just to make her _think_ that...
Rei finally opened her mouth. "What do I have to do?"
**Another good question. I don't think anything needs to be done right now, but I want to write some things down - that might help later. Have you got a pencil and notebook paper?**
She stood up. "Yes." She took a step and reached for her book bag.
**Wait. Hang on, I just realized - there's something I need to check.**
Rei stopped, her hand reached out in front of her. "What?"
**I need to think. Go on, I'll let you know when I've got something.**
Rei was confused, but nevertheless retrieved the writing materials and sat down in front of her desk, placing them before her.
The voice came back a few seconds later. **OK. Question: What color is the ocean?**
This threw her for even more of a loop than predicting the commander's death had. "What do you mean?"
**I mean, is it red or is it blue?**
"Blue."
**OK. Good. Red would've made things much harder.**
"Why?" She was more mystified than ever.
**It'd mean a lot of my knowledge was inapplicable. Might still be, but I doubt it. OK, number the lines on the paper, in the left margin. One through seventeen.**
Rei did so.
**All right. Next to the number one, write "Adam." Two is "Lilith." Three is "Sachiel," that's S-A-C-H-I-E-L. Four, uh, "Shamshel," S-H-A-M- - no, M, not N...**
It went slowly and laboriously. Once, the voice jumped to seventeen and started working backwards, only to later jump back and start work forwards again. After several minutes, though, the list was completed.
Rei set her pencil down and read over what she'd written:
1. Adam
2. Lilith
3. Sachiel
4. Shamshel
5. Ramiel
6. Gaghiel
7. Israfel
8. Sandalphon
9. Matariel
10. Sahaquiel
11. Iruel
12. Leliel
13. Bardiel
14. Zeruel
15. Arael
16. Armisael
17. Tabris
"The names of Angels," she said.
**You got it.**
She looked at the last entry on the list. 'Tabris.' That name again.
**Ah. You remembered that slip, then.**
Rei started. "How did you know?" Had he read her thoughts?
**I see through your eyes. I can tell what you're focusing on as well as you can. Yeah, if anyone knows how I got here, it'd be Tabris. As far as I know, he's the last Angel. Unless more come afterward, or Adam makes more in-between or something.**
Rei said nothing, but mentally filed away the voice's use of 'he.' She had rarely heard people speak of the Angels, and almost never with gendered pronouns. Though she _had_ overheard an argument over whether Adam was male or female once.
**OK. Now fold the paper in half - no, lengthwise - and unfold it. Now number the lines again, this time by the fold instead of the margin line. One through twenty-six.**
This list was much less straightforward in its contents and involved even more jumping around - Rei even had to erase a pair of names and write them on different lines - but eventually it too was completed to the voice's satisfaction:
1. Sachiel
2. flashback
3. Shamshel
4. hedgehog's dilemma
5. Rei I
6. Rei II
7. Jet Alone
8. Asuka strikes
9. Israfel
10. Sandalphon
11. Matariel
12. Sahaquiel
13. Iruel
14. clip show
15. kiss
16. Leliel
17. Fourth Child
18. Bardiel
19. Zeruel
20. one month
21. flashback
22. Arael
23. Rei III
24. Kaworu
25. ?
26. ?
**It's a timeline,** the voice explained. **Unit 00's activation test is a little before number 1. Gendo's death is at 26, if it happens, which it hopefully won't.**
Rei's eyes flicked between the two lists.
**Yeah, I left some Angels off the timeline. It's just a memory aid, it doesn't have to have all the details. I don't even _know_ all the details.**
She nodded, still studying the list. The voice commented on the items her eyes rested on. **That's a psychology thing. Yeah, that's you, the reasoning isn't all that important. Jet Alone's a military thing.**
"Who's 'Asuka'?"
**Oh, you don't know? Asuka Langley Soryu, the Second Child.**
Rei had heard there was one person in the world other than her who was known to be capable of piloting an Evangelion, but didn't know much about her. "In Germany?"
**That's her. Don't ask about 14. There might not actually be a kiss.**
She looked at number 17. 'Fourth Child.' "Is that when the Fourth is chosen?"
**Probably.**
"What about the Third?"
**Ah, yes. The Third Child. The one and only Shinji Ikari.**
Her eyebrows rose. "Ikari?"
**You didn't know that either?** She shook her head. **Yeah, Ikari. Gendo's very own son. And he's the key to the whole thing. He comes when the Third Angel does, at 1. And the way 26 turns out all depends on him. Everything depends on Shinji.**
Rei closed her eyes. It was too much for her to take in all at once. "How do you know all this? Who are you?"
**I already told you, I don't know if I'm an-**
"Not what. Who."
The voice didn't answer.
After about a minute, Rei gave up on waiting for a response. Instead, she collected her study materials from the floor and tried to get her schoolwork done. It was harder to focus than usual. Her mind kept drifting back to the predictions she'd heard.
The rest of the evening passed without incident. It took her longer to finish her homework than usual, so she didn't have as much time for her own reading afterward. She didn't hear the voice again until she had undressed and was getting into her bed.
**How about Isaiah?**
She paused. "Eh?"
**It's the name of a prophet. Look, who I remember being doesn't matter. Not anymore. All that matters now is what I remember - what I can predict. And I _am_ making predictions of deaths and Angels. Between that and NERV's usual style, 'Isaiah' seems to fit.**
Silence.
**Well, if you don't like it-**
"'Isaiah.'"
**Yeah.**
Rei turned off the light and lay down in the bed, pulling her blanket over her. She didn't speak again.
The last thing she registered before slipping into unconsciousness was the voice quietly saying, **Good night, Rei.**
–––
The weekend passed more or less normally. Isaiah was sometimes silent for hours at a stretch, making Rei wonder if he was even there. When she asked, he assured her that he always was.
**Not that I always like to be,** he said. Rei was walking away from a store where she'd replenished some living supplies. **I'm not exactly comfortable spying on a girl when she's in the...** He trailed off. **Oh, no.**
"What?"
**What if your apartment's been bugged? You were talking to me out loud yesterday, anyone could've heard your side of the conversation!**
She stopped on the sidewalk to consider this. "Who would've bugged my apartment?" she asked.
**NERV.**
"Why?"
**Because...** Pause. **OK, good point. But it's probably still a bad idea to let other people hear us. Can you try speaking to me telepathically? I'm guessing you can do it the same way I can.**
Rei started walking again. _Can you hear me?_ she thought silently. There was no response. She tried to think harder. _Can you hear me?_ Still nothing.
Remembering what Isaiah had said about him overthinking it, she tried to blank her mind out and then visualize her thoughts going to him as a message. _Can you hear me?_
**Loud and clear.**
_And this?_
**Yeah, I think you've got the hang of i- Whoa! Careful!**
Rei snapped her focus back in front of her, just in time to nimbly dodge around a telephone pole she had been about to collide with.
**Maybe more practice.**
_Yes._
–––
Monday arrived.
When school ended, Rei headed straight for NERV's headquarters in the Geofront. The anxiety in the air there was palpable, but Rei barely noticed it.
_Don't try and synchronize with the Eva,_ she warned as she donned her plugsuit. _It might react badly, and you don't have enough experience to help._ She pressed a switch on the wrist, causing the baggy suit to contract with a hiss to become skintight.
**Yeah, yeah,** said Isaiah. He seemed moodier today than he had been. **I'll bet you got that bluntness from Gendo.**
The activation test was not held in the Cage. That would've been far too dangerous. It was held in a specialized set of rooms deeper in the base. The people overseeing the test were in one of them, a small room with a tinted glass wall that functioned as a window.
On the other side of the glass was Evangelion Unit 00.
The Evangelion was at least forty meters tall. It was roughly humanoid, with white and yellow-orange armor covering its body and a single glass lens in its helmet for an eye. It reminded many of NERV's staff of a giant demon - something in its seemingly lifeless form suggested incredible power, barely constrained. The room it was in was just large enough for it to take a step or two in any one direction, and its walls were heavily armor-plated in their own right to protect them from whatever force Unit 00 might unleash. Its arms and back were pinned to the wall behind it by metal restraints as a further precaution.
The amount of money that had gone into developing this prototype would have been enough to bankrupt a small nation. The number of Evas that had been built by anyone to date could be counted on one hand. The technicians servicing it, running one pre-activation check after another, were well aware of this.
Rei was less conscious of the enormous effort that had gone into the cyborg's construction. Her connection to Unit 00 was more personal. She was the only person who would be able to make it move. Her entire life had been building up to this day. More importantly, she knew that it was what the commander expected of her.
A tube made of metal and ceramic, several meters long, was partially inserted into the back of the Eva's neck. It was called an "entry plug," and inside it was a seat for one person and a set of hand controls consisting of a pair of handles with triggers and buttons built in. If the right person were sitting in the seat, they could mentally synchronize with the Eva, using the controls as an aid, and command its movements.
Rei Ayanami was the right person, and she was in the seat.
An enormous machine screwed the entry plug into its port at the top of the Eva's spine, cutting Rei off from the outside as the armor shifted to cover the plug's rear end. The plug flooded with LCL - another synchronization aid, along with the headset clipped to her hair, designed to interface with the proper nerve connections in her brain. She exhaled and filled her lungs with the oxygenated fluid, her eyes closed.
"Synapses inserted. Junctions connecting."
"Transmitting pulse."
"All circuits are operational."
The technicians outside continued going through their checklists out loud, some of them audible to Rei through the entry plug's internal speakers. She tried to ignore them, focusing instead on synchronizing and calming her nerves. If this succeeded, she would be in command of the most powerful weapon mankind had ever known. If it didn't, this could be the last day of her life.
"All nerve links checking out normal."
"Check list satisfactory up to 2550."
**Rei?** It was the first thing Isaiah had said since the test had started.
_Yes?_ Rei's eyes opened a crack.
**I'm sorry.**
"Counting down to the absolute borderline. 0.9... 0.7... 0.5... 0.4... 0.3... The pulses are flowing backward!"
A sharp pain stabbed Rei's brain. She felt a jolt as the Evangelion - against her will - started moving.
**Hang on,** Isaiah said grimly. **This could get bumpy.**
There was another presence with them now, another mind. It was the mind of a beast - vast, dwarfing Rei, in pain, and angry. She struggled to get some control over it, to calm it down, but to no avail.
"Something's going wrong in the third stage!"
"Rejection occurring in the nerve center elements!"
The beast strained against the restraints that pinned it to the wall. Rei gritted her teeth. _Calm down,_ she thought. _Relax._
It was no use. She was barely able to hinder it in the slightest. Cracks were forming in the wall behind it.
"Cease contact!" Dr. Akagi said. "Break all circuits through number six!"
"I can't! The signal's not being received!"
The restraints ripped free from the wall, shattering concrete and ripping foot-thick cables, and Rei lost control of the beast entirely. Her eyes snapped wide open.
"Unit 00 is out of control!"
"Abort the experiment," came Commander Ikari's voice. "Shut off the power supply."
Rei heard a loud _pssh_ as the enormous cable that fed the Evangelion electricity detached itself from its back and a _thus_ as it hit the floor. The Eva had forty seconds' worth of power stored internally, potentially enough to kill everyone there.
_Stop!_ she ordered, despite knowing it was useless. _Stop fighting! Keep still!_
She could hear the Eva thrashing. In front of her, as though from a distance, she could hear sounds of glass cracking and shattering. She felt herself swooping downward, as though the Eva were bending over, and another _pssh_ as something opened behind the entry plug.
**This is going to hurt!**
There was a roar and a massive jolt. Rei was thrown forward, almost out of her seat, clutching the controls for dear life. The ejector rockets in the entry plug must have activated - she'd been shot out of the Evangelion entirely.
A great CLANG threw her hard against the back of the seat as the rear end of the plug struck a wall, or perhaps the ceiling. Lights flashed in front of her eyes. There was another CLANG and the plug came almost to a stop. Seconds later, the sound of the rockets faded, and Rei found herself in freefall.
Aside from providing a synchronization medium, the LCL also cushioned impacts to the pilot. It was probably the only thing that kept Rei from being killed when the plug hit the floor three and a half seconds later. Even so, it hurt more than anything she had ever experienced before, too much to stop herself from screaming. She was sure she could hear several bones snap.
The scream faded from her throat, and everything was still. Through her pain, she could still hear the Eva making a commotion, far above her. The noises it was making eventually stopped, to be replaced by the sound of footsteps running toward the entry plug. The hatch to her left shook, and there was a pained grunt on the other side.
A second later, the opening mechanism turned, and the hatch opened. The LCL flooded out of the plug, and Rei sputtered as she felt air on her face.
"Rei, are you all right? Rei!"
Rei turned to face the voice's source. It was Commander Ikari, panic etched into his rough, bearded face. His glasses were missing; they must have fallen off.
Rei nodded weakly. The Commander's face relaxed. "I see," he said.
Her gaze fell to his hand. Its palm was burnt red. The latch must have been superheated by the rockets - or the inside of the Eva, or both - to the point that it could burn flesh. He had opened it with his bare hands.
–––
In the infirmary, Rei learned that nobody else had been hurt by Unit 00's aborted rampage. Nothing irreplacable had been destroyed, and Unit 00 had been frozen and put safely in storage. Rei herself was covered in bandages; they'd had to slice her plugsuit open to reach some of her wounds. It would be weeks before she could walk again, but she was expected to fully recover.
Assuming that any of them lived that long. Nobody said that, but it was clearly on everyone's mind. Unit 00's activation test had disastrously failed, and the only other Evangelion in Japan was the test type, Unit 01. There was a backup pilot on the way to substitute for Rei, which Isaiah was "almost certain" was the Commander's son, but Unit 01 had an even smaller estimated chance of successful activation, less than one in a billion.
And yet, Rei couldn't bring herself to be upset.
**I really am sorry,** Isaiah said while they were alone. **I don't know any way I could've prevented that. I thought about telling you, but I couldn't see how it would've done any good to know it was coming. Believe me, I feel your pain. Literally.**
Rei didn't reply. Instead, she closed her eyes and smiled, almost imperceptibly. The Commander's anxious face appeared in her mind, as it had several times in the past few hours.
**What are you smiling about?**
_He cares,_ she said. _He was afraid for me. He was happy to see that I was alive._
**Oh, _Rei_...**
_What?_
He sighed, or something like it. **Never mind. Let's get some rest.**
–––
The next day passed slowly. Rei didn't have any books she could read, and her injuries were too severe for her to hold one anyway. The only thing available to help her pass the time was the television, and she had never particularly liked that.
**Remember that timeline?** Isaiah asked. **The Third Angel is going to attack soon, that's 1.**
_Sachiel._
**Right. It's big and green, about Eva-sized and -shaped, and it's got bones on the outside. Long arms, long legs, red core in the chest, has big energy weapons it can bring out from its hands and stab stuff with. Not much of a head or neck, just a mask made of bone. Looks kinda birdlike. Oh, come on!** The last comment was accompanied by a sudden irritated tone.
_Hm?_
**Are you listening to the TV?** Rei had been ignoring it altogether. **No, never mind, it doesn't matter. What matters is, was that actually supposed to be _funny_? Dear God, this country's variety shows are actually as bad as their reputation. Can we get the channel changed? There's gotta be some lame drama on. Or even a kids' cartoon.**
Through Tuesday and Wednesday, there were one or two shows that Isaiah claimed to be mostly satisfied with, along with several more that he let pass with only a few snide remarks. There were some stretches of time when the TV was turned off altogether and Rei wasn't able to fall asleep, which he passed either by talking with Rei or singing. Most of the songs he sang were in English, with only one in Japanese. He seemed restless, unwilling to go for too long without saying something, and she said so at one point.
**Yeah, I guess so,** he said sheepishly. **I've never been hospitalized before, not like this. I guess I'll need to get used to it, we're going to be here for a while.**
_Never?_
**I didn't exactly lead a high-risk lifestyle.**
_What kind of lifestyle did you lead?_
**Well, I-** He stopped short. **Nice try.**
_You were a human, weren't you?_
He had to have been. Aside from his knowledge of the future, Isaiah seemed to think and talk like any other human. He was too familiar with the ins and outs of human civilization to have grown up anywhere else. He sang human songs. He was human, she was sure of it.
He didn't reply for a few seconds. **I was being honest before,** he finally said quietly. **I don't know if I can trust my memories. And I don't think it's that important. But yes, I do remember being human.**
_I see._
**The thing is... right now, there's absolutely nothing I can do except talk to you, observe things, and think. I mean, literally nothing. Even now, you can breath and blink and twitch your fingers. I can't do anything. So maybe that's why I wasn't thinking about whether or not I was bothering you.**
_You're not bothering me._
It was the truth. He had taken some getting used to, but Rei was finding that she didn't really mind him. He had only been a slight irritation at worst, and there were times when she'd found herself genuinely enjoying listening to him.
And even if there weren't, it'd still be worth having him if it saved the Commander's life.
–––
The alarm sounded on Thursday.
Rei couldn't be sure what was going on. She could hear people running down the hallway outside the infirmary, but nothing anyone was saying.
**I think this is it.**
The commotion died down after a while, but the announcement over the PA said that NERV was still on alert, at a slightly lower danger level. _Is the Third Child here?_ she asked. Isaiah didn't answer.
Rei didn't remember drifting back to sleep, but she must have, because the next thing she knew, a nurse was shaking her awake. "Rei?"
Rei blearily opened her one unbandaged eye, the left, and focused it on the nurse. "There's a call for you," the nurse said, pressing a button on a phone that had been placed on her bedside table.
The Commander's voice came from the phone. "Rei."
"Yes?" she said.
"Our spare is unusable. You will do it again."
"Yes." The image of his relieved face came to her again. _Anything._
Rei had a minute or two to reflect as her bed was rolled down the hallway. She could barely move without pain stabbing through her. Her broken bones had only just started to heal. She was still tired. Even if she managed to activate Unit 01 and pilot it into combat against an Angel, she would almost certainly die.
Didn't matter. He had asked her. She would do it.
The corridor opened up into a Cage. Rei was wheeled onto a catwalk in front of Unit 01's head. Unlike Unit 00, its armor was purple with black and green markings. It had two eyes instead of one and a long, curved horn pointing upward from the middle of its forehead. It was up to its chest in LCL, and there was a boy on the catwalk in front of it, looking about old enough to be in her class at school - the Commander's son, presumably.
Rei struggled to push herself into a sitting position. The pain shot through her again, forcing her to stop for breath once she was upright. She panted through gritted teeth, sweat rolling down her face. She hurt all over.
There was a loud noise, and the catwalk shook violently underneath her, so violently that she could feel the bed tilting to the side. Unable to control it, she slid off, hitting to the catwalk's floor with a burst of pain worse than anything she'd felt since the activation test.
There were more crashes and some yelling about the Eva, then footsteps running toward Rei. A pair of arms lifted her upper body, holding it in a semi-upright position. Her back involutarily arched and she gasped as another burst of pain went through her.
For the first time since Rei had gotten the Commander's call, Isaiah spoke up. **Look at his eyes,** he said thickly, apparently indeed affected by Rei's pain, if not quite as much as she was.
_What..._
**Shinji. The boy holding you. Look at his eyes!**
She pried her left eye open. Whoever was holding her was on her right. She turned her head slowly, fighting the pain, until she could clearly see his face. It was the boy she'd seen before. Up this close, she thought she could see some resemblance to the Commander in his features. His face was frozen in horror. After a few seconds, he broke eye contact, holding up his right hand and staring at it instead.
Rei's eyes squeezed shut again as she resumed gasping for breath.
**Blue,** came Isaiah's voice. **Good.**
The boy spoke, voice shaking. "Fine, I'll do it!" he said. "I'll be your pilot!"
**And there we go.** He sounded satisfied. **Our part's done now, Rei. You hear me?**
Rei didn't respond. She felt another pair of arms, stronger than the boy's, take her, with another lifting her legs. She felt herself placed on the bed again. Something was injected into her arm, and she faded away a minute later.
* * *
Posted 22-JUL-2011
End file.
| fanfiction |
Salicylic acid - polarity and solubility
Really confused about this, since there is carbon and two other types of atoms: should be polar, right? However, some people online say it is non-polar. Also, is it soluble in water?
Well it has polar groups - carboxylic and phenolic but benzene ring reduces its polarity. One could say carbon atoms win 7:3 with oxygens, but it's still not bad :) [PubChem](http://pubchem.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/compound/salicylic_acid#section=Solubility) say it's solubility is about 2g/L, but [this site](http://chemister.ru/Database/properties-en.php?dbid=1&id=1777) gives more info - it dissolves much better in hot water and its solubility in methanol, which is quite polar, is good, and in benzene (non-polar) bad. Generally it seems to be somewhere in the middle between strongly polar and strongly non-polar compounds.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Applied science is the application of existing scientific knowledge to practical applications, like technology or inventions.
Within natural science, disciplines that are basic science develop basic information to
predict and perhaps explain and understand phenomena in the natural world. Applied science is the use of scientific processes and knowledge as the means to achieve a particular practical or useful result. This includes a broad range of applied science related fields, including engineering and medicine.
Applied science can also apply formal science, such as statistics and probability theory, as in epidemiology. Genetic epidemiology is an applied science applying both biological and statistical methods.
Applied research
Applied research is the practical application of science. It accesses and uses accumulated theories, knowledge, methods, and techniques, for a specific, state-, business-, or client-driven purpose. Applied research is contrasted with pure research basic research in discussion about research ideals, methodologies, programs, and projects.
Applied research deals with solving practical problems and generally employs empirical methodologies. Because applied research resides in the messy real world, strict research protocols may need to be relaxed. For example, it may be impossible to use a random sample. Thus, transparency in the methodology is crucial. Implications for interpretation of results brought about by relaxing an otherwise strict canon of methodology should also be considered.
Since applied research has a provisional close-to-the-problem and close-to-the-data orientation, it may also use a more provisional conceptual framework such as working hypotheses or pillar questions.
The OECD's Frascati Manual describes applied research as one of the three forms of research, along with basic research & experimental development.
Due to its practical focus, applied research information will be found in the literature associated with individual disciplines.
Branches
Engineering fields include thermodynamics, heat transfer, fluid mechanics, statics, dynamics, mechanics of materials, kinematics, electromagnetism, materials science, earth sciences, engineering physics.
Medical sciences, for instance medical microbiology and clinical virology, are applied sciences that apply biology toward medical knowledge and inventions, but not necessarily medical technology, whose development is more specifically biomedicine or biomedical engineering.
In education
In Canada, the Netherlands and other places the Bachelor of Applied Science BASc is equivalent to the Bachelor of Engineering, and is classified as a professional degree. The BASc tends to focus more on the application of the engineering sciences. In Australia and New Zealand this degree is awarded in various fields of study and is considered a highly specialized professional degree.
In the United Kingdom's educational system, Applied Science refers to a suite of vocational science qualifications that run alongside traditional General Certificate of Secondary Education or A-Level Sciences. Applied Science courses generally contain more coursework also known as portfolio or internally assessed work compared to their traditional counterparts. These are an evolution of the GNVQ qualifications that were offered up to 2005.
These courses regularly come under scrutiny and are due for review following the Wolf Report 2011;
however, their merits are argued elsewhere.
In the United States, The College of William & Mary offers an undergraduate minor as well as Master of Science and Doctor of Philosophy degrees in applied science. Courses and research cover varied fields including neuroscience, optics, materials science and engineering, nondestructive testing, and nuclear magnetic resonance. University of NebraskaLincoln offers a Bachelor of Science in applied science, an online completion Bachelor of Science in applied science and a Master of Applied Science. Course work is centered on science, agriculture and natural resources with a wide range of options including ecology, food genetics, entrepreneurship, economics, policy, animal science and plant science. In New York City, the Bloomberg administration awarded the consortium of Cornell-Technion $100 million in City capital to construct the universities' proposed Applied Sciences campus on Roosevelt Island.
See also
Exact sciences
Basic research
Hard and soft science
Invention
Secondary research
References
External links
science
Category:Branches of science | wikipedia |
Eriphus smaragdinus is a species of beetle in the family Cerambycidae. It was described by Monné & Fragoso in 1996.
References
Category:Eriphus
Category:Beetles described in 1996 | wikipedia |
Alias Double Jeu
**Alias** – Sark/Vaughn – Double Jeu
* * *
Une fois de plus Vaughn fusille l'anglais du regard. Sark aime torturer l'agent de la CIA ainsi, en lui parlant de Lauren, encore et encore. Il aime voir cette étincelle de rage animer le regard de l'américain, et qui n'est adressée qu'à lui. Il prend un plaisir pervers à la provoquer le plus souvent possible.
Vaughn tremble de rage. Sark qui l'énerve au plus haut point. Sark qui ne rate pas une occasion de mentionner Lauren. De sous entendre qu'elle le préférait lui parce que le Boy Scout est un mauvais coup.
S'il ne se retenait pas, il coincerait cet enfoiré contre un mur et lui ferait subir les derniers outrages.
Et il verrait, merde à la fin, qu'il n'en est pas un.
Et pas seulement à cause de Lauren.
Quand Sark a déclaré sur un ton des plus naturels qu'étant donné qu'ils avaient partagé la même femme ils étaient en quelque sorte intimes, Vaughn a cru rêver.
Il a eu un hoquet de surprise, qui n'a pas échappé à l'anglais.
Vaughn avait envie de frapper Sark, encore et encore, de le faire taire, n'entendre plus que ses hurlements de douleur.
Il est retourné vers Sydney, qui n'attendait que ça, au plus vite pour oublier plus facilement et Lauren, et Sark.
Mais il n'oublie pas. Et il n'en dort plus.
Sark voudrait tant que Vaughn réagisse encore à ses piques. Qu'il lui hurle dessus, lui recasse le nez ou les bras, voire qu'il lui tire à nouveau dans les jambes.
Tout plutôt qu'il l'ignore.
La rage plutôt que l'indifférence.
Quand il évoque Lauren, à présent, Vaughn serre les dents et ignore Sark. Alors il insiste. Il sent bien que Vaughn s'énerve, mais ce dernier ne pipe mot. Il se contente de lui tourner le dos, ou de regarder ailleurs pendant que sa petite amie envoie l'anglais au sol.
Sydney Bristow. Lauren Reed. Alicia Doren. Autant de femmes entre eux. Deux mortes, l'autre en sursis.
Quand Sark l'a obligé à regarder la dépouille de Lauren, Vaughn avait juste envie de vomir. Et de lui éclater la tête contre le cercueil de celle que Sark a le culot d'appeler « sa bien aimée » ou « la femme que j'aimais. » Il en parle au passé, il a fait son deuil.
Mais emmerder Mickael Vaughn n'a pas de prix. Et Vaughn a beau maintenir que non, il n'en a rien à foutre de cette femme à présent, Sark a bien vu la douleur passer dans ses yeux.
Et Sark a eu envie de le protéger.
Ils ont été obligés de travailler ensemble de nombreuses fois, Sark aidant la CIA plus ou moins volontairement. Il n'y a pas plus opportuniste, comme lui-même l'a dit, sa loyauté est très flexible.
Il suivra qui le paie le plus. Ou qui a les arguments les plus… frappants.
Et Vaughn peut être des plus convainquant.
À Hong Kong, il ne s'est pas fait trop prier pour lui obéir. Ça lui a juste coûté une balle dans la jambe et quelques coups. Autant de contacts, de passion et de chaleur échangés avec l'agent Vaughn.
Vaughn évite à présent de frapper Sark. Parce qu'il a peur de ne pas pouvoir se contrôler. Non pas peur de finir par le tuer, un enfoiré pareil mérite pire que la mort, mais peur de ce qu'il ressent quand sa main atteint le blond. Et il se déteste pour ça.
Sark n'est jamais loin, c'est une ombre qui le poursuit. Le hante.
C'est un mal qui le ronge de l'intérieur.
C'est tout simplement Sark. Il ne peut pas lui coller une étiquette précise, tout est trop flou, trop confus.
Entre eux, il y a la mort. Il y a les gens qu'ils ont tués, les gens qui sont morts pour la cause de l'un ou l'autre.
Des fantômes, qui les séparent et les rapprochent.
Comme le fantôme de Lauren Reed.
Sark poursuit Vaughn.
Il lui envoie des lettres plus ou moins agressives quand Vaughn arrive trop tard. Il lui parle de Lauren, et lui demande s'il est sûr que Sydney est satisfaite de lui quand ils se croisent au court d'une mission ou d'une autre.
Il le rabaisse sans cesse. Il aime mettre l'agent plus bas que terre. À ses pieds.
Il aime voir la rage et la supplique passer dans son regard quand il le tient en joue. Il aime le poursuivre. Il aime jouer.
Et il aimerait que Vaughn joue le jeu.
Vaughn a assommé Sark, et l'a attaché solidement. Ce cinglé rôdait autour de chez lui, seul, cherchant manifestement quelque chose.
Oui, les ennuis.
Vaughn l'a repéré alors qu'il regardait par la fenêtre, il l'a donc assommé, et traîné à l'intérieur pour le ligoter et l'interroger.
Il n'a cessé d'observer l'anglais en attendant son réveil.
« La belle au bois dormant se réveille enfin ? »
Sark sourit.
« Quel humour, monsieur Vaughn. Vous auriez pu m'installer sur le sofa, je trouve le sol très dur. »
Vaughn a presque envie de lui tirer la langue.
« Que fouttiez-vous devant chez moi ? »
Bonne question. Sark n'en sait rien.
Ses obligations l'ont amené à L.A., il savait Bristow en mission (et pour cause !), et il était venu voir comment Vaughn profitait de ses jours de congés sans l'espionne qui lui collait aux basques.
Sark se dit que la situation a un petit côté pervers. Vaughn penché sur lui, débraillé, avec un vieux short et un débardeur. Lui entièrement soumis au bon vouloir de l'américain.
Ça lui rappelle Lauren. Impression qu'il partage à haute voix, histoire d'en faire profiter le jeune veuf.
La réaction ne se fait pas attendre. Vaughn lui colle une droite.
Alors que Sark fait aller sa mâchoire, Vaughn s'assoit à côté de lui.
« Vous dîtes n'importe quoi, il est très bien ce sol. »
Sark lui sourit.
« Je vous proposerais bien à boire, mais je m'en voudrais de vous paraître sympathique. Que cherchiez-vous devant chez moi ? »
« À dire vrai, je n'en sais rien. Peut-être simplement votre compagnie. »
Vaughn observe Sark, essayant de deviner où est le piège. Mais cet homme est bien trop dissimulateur, fourbe, et on en passe pour laisser lire quoi que ce soit sur son visage.
Il se relève, et va chercher une bouteille de vin ainsi que deux verres. Il les sert, et laisse celui de Sark sur la table pendant que lui boit. Sark ne quitte pas le verre des yeux.
« Seriez-vous doué pour la télékinésie ? »
« Pas vraiment. »
« Il faudrait que je vous détache ou que je vous fasse boire. »
« Ou alors vous pouvez simplement boire en me regardant saliver devant ce verre de vin… »
« Proposition ma foi fort tentante. »
Vaughn attrape un canif, et détache une main du terroriste.
« Merci. »
« Ce serait dommage de gâcher ce vin. »
« Je suis d'accord. »
Sark profite de l'instant. Il sait que ça n'arrivera pas à nouveau. Après tout, il est un ennemi des États-Unis (entre autres), et Vaughn est un fidèle agent de cette fière nation. Un rire lui échappe. Vaughn qui buvait en regardant le mur tourne son regard vers lui, interrogateur. Sark secoue la tête, et boit.
Les premiers verres sont vite finis, puis la bouteille.
Vaughn part en chercher une deuxième.
Ils sirotent leur verre en silence, les posent, et personne ne rompt le silence de cet instant… magique ?
Vaughn soupire.
Il se lève à nouveau, et revient s'assoir sur la table basse, face à Sark, à la place des verres.
De sa main libre, Sark attrape le débardeur de l'agent, et l'attire à lui. Déséquilibré, Vaughn lui tombe dessus. Sark l'attrape par les cheveux, et amène le visage étonné de l'agent face au sien. D'un léger mouvement, il penche la tête de Vaughn, et ils s'embrassent.
Sark lâche Vaughn.
Il ne casse pas le contact de leurs lèvres, il l'approfondit même.
Quand il s'éloigne, Vaughn est essoufflé.
Sark et lui s'observent, une foule de questions dans la tête.
« Et maintenant, qu'est-ce qu'on fait ? »
Vaughn détache Sark, et s'éloigne.
« Faîtes ce que vous voulez. »
À cet instant, il ressemble à un homme totalement perdu, malheureux, prêt à en finir.
Sark n'a pas envie d'en finir avec lui ce soir, il a envie de continuer cette partie qui dure entre eux depuis tant d'années.
Et il sait comment rendre sa verve à Vaughn.
« J'en déduis que Lauren avait raison. À part embrasser vous ne savez pas faire grand-chose de bien à ce niveau là. »
Vaughn lève les yeux vers lui, et le fusille du regard. Sark surenchérit. Vaughn se précipite sur lui et le coince contre un mur.
« Tu vas voir Sark, tu vas voir si je suis un bon coup ou pas. Et je t'assure que tu n'auras pas à t'en plaindre, espèce de petite ordure ! »
Sark sourit. Vaughn colle ses lèvres aux siennes pour lui ôter ce sourire suffisant.
Les mains se baladent. Les vêtements tombent.
Les souffles, les gestes deviennent synchrones.
Sans trop savoir comment, Vaughn a réussi à entraîner Sark dans la chambre, où il y a tout ce qu'il faut pour ce qui va suivre.
Plus tard, alors qu'ils reprennent leurs souffles, Sark admet que Lauren avait vraiment mal jugé l'agent de la CIA. À haute voix.
« Elle n'a jamais fait que mentir à tout le monde, tu devrais le savoir. »
Ils ne savent pas où ça va les mener, mais c'est un nouveau jeu. Dangereux.
Quitte ou double.
*fin*
* * *
Riviouzes ?
End file.
| fanfiction |
1. Chapter 1
Shoveling
By PaBurke
Pairing # 1077 Xander/ Dr. Benjamin Franklin Pierce MD (MASH) for TTH
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or universes or personalities or computers . . .
Spoilers: Post all of MASH, Post-Chosen
Word Count: 165
"You're doing it wrong."
Xander snarled at the old, cantankerous next-door neighbor. Stupid Cleveland with its stupid snow and stupid Slayer House with its stupid long driveway. He much preferred the Hellmouth to be in California.
Dr. Benjamin Franklin Pierce MD-Ret, 'just call me Hawkeye,' grinned at the hapless man that had slipped on the stupid ice. Xander wondered if the veteran had dressed for the cold just to come outside and harass his new neighbors.
Xander ignored the old man and stumbled to his feet. He slipped again but this time a strong hand on his elbow stopped his descent. Xander looked down at one of the newer Slayers.
Kathleen smiled at him, gently took the shovel from his hands and shooed him back to the house.
Xander heard Hawkeye mutter, "Then again, maybe not." Then the old man proceeded to give the young, pretty Kathleen several helpful hints on how to correctly shovel snow.
The old man certainly knew how to shovel it.
2. Chapter 2
Spying
Word Count: 100
That Xander-person was interesting.
Xander snarked back. Hawkeye mused that it was like picking on his late wife, Margaret. They gave as good as they got, no matter the circumstances.
The girls were very pretty and they liked to run together in very short shorts. They were normally giggling or whispering but they could be serious. Who would blame Hawkeye for taking advantage of their generous nature and letting them take out his garbage or collect his mail or help shovel the snow from his driveway?
But all they kept horrible hours. Had he done that when he was young?
Seeing
Word Count: 100
It had taken three months to see it. Hawkeye had brushed off his observations as an active imagination or had over-estimated the harm broken homes had on the girls. His new neighbors housed troubled girls, no mistake, but something had always bothered Hawkeye about the young people next door.
They moved too smoothly, they saw too much, they laughed too often.
And they always remembered to smell the roses Hawkeye grew in the front of his house.
It had dawned on him this morning, when Kathleen had looked through the front window while smelling his roses.
She had soldier's eyes.
Seething
Word Count: 100
He had fumed for a month. Hawkeye had watched the girls and Xander. Each and every one of them had soldier's eyes. The more he watched, the more he was convinced. He was living next door to a bunch of war veterans with a whopping sixteen years under their belt. Some were older, and some were younger but for the most part, they were younger than the soldiers that had died on his operating table in Korea. He had despised the youth wasted then, he hated it more now.
To have hardened soldiers, there had to be a war.
Where?
Suspecting
Word Count: 100
He smelled the smoke first. It wasn't cigarette, cigar or marijuana. It was definitely coming from the Girl's Home. Hawkeye hurried over to their front door as fast as his old legs could carry him and knocked loud.
Kathleen opened the door, somewhat surprised to see him. "Dr. Hawk?"
"I smelled smoke."
Her eyes got wide and she giggled. It sounded forced. "That was Willow. She was helping Laura with her science experiment and it got out of hand."
"So everything's fine?"
A pause. "It will be soon. I promise, Dr. Hawk."
Girls that young shouldn't need to make promises.
Screaming
Word Count: 100
Hawkeye was old.
He didn't need much sleep. He liked puttering around in the wee hours. An advantage of the country was how bright the stars were at night. Hawkeye liked sitting in a lawn chair and observing the stars.
That's what he had been doing tonight when the screaming had started.
Hawkeye moved fast, straight for the tent set up in the neighbor's yard. One of the older girls from the house beat him to the pup-tent. Hawkeye knew he had slowed down, but man, was she fast.
Laura held Kathleen tight and murmured reassurances.
The screams still echoed.
3. Chapter 3
Spilling
Word Count: 100
The blood made the floor slippery. It was pouring, spilling out the hurt Slayer and onto the floor. Xander was holding a clean -sopping- bandage against the wound.
"Don't die," he chanted, "Don't die."
Laura was holding her down, making sure her flailing arms did not hit Xander. "She won't last to the hospital," she whispered. They both knew the truth.
Xander ignored Laura. "Call Willow!" he ordered.
"Can't get a hold of her!" someone answered, whimpered.
Then the injured Slayer whispered something.
Xander looked to Laura. "What?"
Her face was white, "Dr. Hawk."
Xander made the decision. "Get him."
Shocking
Word Count: 100
Pounding woke him up.
"Dr. Hawk!" someone yelled. "Dr. Pierce! We need help!"
Hawkeye stumbled out of bed and jerked open his back door.
Laura stood there. Her face was white and blood covered her from head to toe. She rubbed at a speckle of blood on her cheek but her hands were dripping with blood. It smeared. "We need help, please."
Hawkeye wanted to stop and stare but old instincts -training kicked in. "My bag's in the top drawer of the dresser by my bed."
Laura shot into his house without an invitation and left Hawkeye in the doorway.
Stumbling
Word Count: 100
He couldn't see in the dark anymore. Hawkeye stumbled to the gate between his yard and the neighbors, his mind whirling. At this point, he didn't bother wondering 'how' the blood had been separated from his soon-to-be patient. He was reviewing 'how' he would help his patient survive.
He was almost there when he saw Laura jump the fence. She had unbelievable height but she missed her landing. She scrambled to her feet and to Hawkeye's position. She grabbed his arm and pulled toward the open door, to the light shining in the dark, to the frantic bustling inside.
"Hurry."
Stitching
Word Count: 100
In. Out. In. Out.
The rhythm never faltered. His hands trembled slightly but his iron will overrode the involuntary action.
In. Out. In. Out.
Xander and one of the other girls carried a vat of boiling water into the kitchen. They pulled out all Hawkeye's instruments, now sterilized.
Doctor Hawkeye Pierce looked up to his assistant, Laura. "Give me the third one from the right." She handed it to him.
In. Out. In. Out.
The bleeding was slowing. Hawkeye didn't know if his patient didn't have enough blood to keep bleeding or if his work was starting to have effect.
Saving
Word Count: 100
"Well?" Xander asked.
"She needs blood," Hawkeye announced.
One girl stood apart from the others. "I have the same blood type."
"Nothing nasty?" At one time, he didn't have to ask the question.
"No."
"Come with me."
She followed.
Hawkeye set up his equipment. "What's your name?"
She spouted a long string of consonants, "But everyone calls me J.M."
He slid the needle into her vein.
"Tell me if you start to feel light-headed."
"I won't. Take a lot, take it fast. I can handle it."
"We'll see. Kathleen's a fighter. She'll last until I can get this in her."
4. Chapter 4
Speaking
Word Count: 150
"Hey, Dr. Hawk."
He had been checking her pulse when Kathleen whispered. He dropped her hand in surprise. "You're awake."
She smiled tiredly. "Little."
"Let me check your pupils." They dilated perfectly. "You're healing very nicely, Kathleen."
She didn't meet his eyes. "Did they say what got me?"
"You don't know?" Hawkeye was skeptical.
Kathleen shook her head hesitantly. "Don't remember."
"Xander told me it was a mugger, a druggie desperate for cash."
"Did . . . get 'im?" She was succumbing to sleep.
"Not yet."
She moved to get out of bed. "Get 'im," she mumbled.
Hawkeye held her down. "Oh, no you don't. I just stitched together every major organ in your abdomen. You are not going to chase anybody for a couple weeks, let alone the day after your surgery. Let the authorities handle it."
"Am 'thority," his patient slurred.
"Rest, Kathleen." Laura stood in the doorway. "We got him."
Screaming II
Word Count: 100
Hawkeye dragged Xander outside. Xander let him. "Tell me what happened. A mugger doesn't leave the marks of a mountain lion."
"You don't want to know."
"She almost died!"
"She wouldn't have been the first and she wouldn't have been the last," Xander retorted.
"I want to know."
Xander sat tiredly on the grass. "A Bride of Dracula. Vamp could shape-shift into a big cat."
Hawkeye shook with frustration. "I want the truth!"
"Fine! A mountain lion escaped from some idiot who kept it as a pet. Kathleen got in its way."
"Now you are lying."
"Make up your mind!"
Shocking II
Word Count: 100
Dr. Hawkeye Pierce sat in the car alone. Xander and five girls stood at various sentry points surrounding the car. He had been given explicit instructions. He was not allowed to leave the car. He fiddled with the small container of Holy Water Xander had asked him to pick up in preparation for tonight.
Something happened to Hawkeye's left. Two girls ran into the woods, minutes later they returned with a struggling man in between. They braced him again the car.
"Holy Water?" Xander reached into the car.
Hawkeye handed it over.
And watched the man turn into a monster.
Speaking II
Word Count: 100
"Dr. Pierce? Dr. Hawk?"
"Did we break him?"
"Told you he was too old to learn about vamps."
"His heart couldn't take it, maybe?"
"Dr. Hawk? You in there? Blink if you hear me."
"We did break him."
"What are we going to do with Kathleen if he's broken? How do we explain to a hospital how she'd been stitched?"
Kathleen.
His patient.
Needed him.
Kathleen.
Hawkeye slowly shook his head. "The man . . . turned . . . into a . . ."
"Vampire?" Xander offered.
"Then . . ."
"Went poof?" Laura filled in.
"You were telling the truth."
"Now, he believes," Xander threw his hands in the air.
Seething II
Word Count: 100
Death had always been his personal enemy. Hawkeye had become a doctor to fight it. He had been good at stealing young men back from Death, exceptional even.
All along Death must have been laughing at him.
Because little girls had been out there, protecting humanity.
Dying.
Alone.
With no one fighting for them.
Saving them.
Their cause was more than ridiculed; it was ignored and rationalized away.
Still they fought, one after another through the centuries.
How many Slayers had died in his lifetime? How many had saved the world and he hadn't even heard a whisper?
_No more_.
5. Chapter 5
Spying II
Word Count: 160
Hawkeye had been given the place of honor to watch. One of the girls had dragged an easy chair from the living room to the kitchen. At first he had argued that the chair blocked the hallway but after the third girl had jumped over him with ease, he shut up.
Here they were just girls getting ready for school. Running, yelling, stomping up and down the stairs. It was a mad house. He was exhausted just watching the girls.
Xander tossed a pair of keys in Hawkeye's lap. "Lock up when you leave, 'kay Doc?"
"I'm not leaving Kathleen alone."
Xander snickered and pointed out the window. "You're not."
Hawkeye looked.
There the group of girls walked to the bus stop. Walked. These girls normally sprinted but they were slowing down so that Kathleen wouldn't hurt herself trying to keep up.
Forget trying to keep up . . .
"What the hell does she think she's doing?"
"Going to school?" Xander offered.
Softening
Word Count: 100
It was a torn piece of notebook paper taped to his back door. The words were written in a flowery, loopy handwriting. They were such girls sometimes, when they were not being Chosen warriors.
'Laura's cooking. Made enough for you.'
Hawkeye smiled. Dinner would be nice. Not cooking himself was nicer. As an invite, well, it was to the point and he'd seen worse. Hawkeye grinned, in his heyday, he'd offered worse to the nurses. He reached up and snagged the note. The postscript on the back caught his eye.
'If you're good, I'll let you check my stitches.
-Kathleen.'
Seeing II
Word Count: 100
"What are you feeding, an army?" Hawkeye blurted out when he saw the table spread. Food covered every part. The rolls that he had brought over were thrown on top of the already full bowl.
Most girls giggled. Xander laughed. Hawkeye realized that they were all amused at the truth in his words. He had seen the girls in action. He had seen them take down a vampire with negligent ease. He had seen them work together.
He had seen their wounded eyes.
But it took seeing all the food the girls were about to consume to see the army.
Seating
Word Count: 100
Xander sat at the head of the table, Laura the foot. Hawkeye quickly got the impression that Laura sat there for more than easy access to the kitchen. Most of the other girls deferred to her and they all deferred to Xander.
Hawkeye was to Laura's right and Kathleen sat beside him. JM was across the table from him, on Laura's left. The other girls filled in the spots to Xander, the youngest next to the young man. Hawkeye wondered if they knew what they revealed by taking their customary seats.
What they revealed by putting Hawkeye where they did.
Schooling
Word Count: 100
The girls were very free with their conversations. They gossiped about everything; some of their topics were crude and risqué. Xander never chided them, he let them voice their opinions on the current subject.
The current subject just happened to be sex.
Hawkeye was no prude. He had gone through most of the nurses before marrying Margaret and Margaret was always one for enjoying sexual gymnastics.
Still . . .
"Just how, precisely, does one accomplish that?"
Jaws dropped.
One of the girls at the other end of the table covered her eyes. "Old people talking about having sex. I'm scarred for life."
Schooling II
Word Count: 110
Hawkeye's question prompted a quick subject change to Slaying.
What worked best with what monster, and what would happen to said monster when the correct tool was utilized. Hawkeye learned much listening to all the shoptalk. He knew most solutions were outside his physical abilities, but it was all interesting.
And as Laura pointed out 'the assist' –passing the correct weapon to the correct Slayer- was as important as doing the Slaying yourself.
All in all, Hawkeye discovered one very important fact: It was a damn good thing that he had a doctor's constitution. Because he didn't know where the closest bathroom was if the current story churned his stomach.
6. Chapter 6
Sipping
Word Count: 100
Xander's offer of a beer had been an escape from dinner clean up. Hawkeye had accepted. Now they sat across from each other in the living room. Hawkeye could hear the muted sounds of the girls as they laughed and bickered through the chore.
"How do you do it?" Hawkeye asked.
Xander smiled sadly. "If I don't, who will?"
Hawkeye nodded. He winced at the next sip of beer. "Do you have any gin?"
"Gin? No."
"Oh. If I set up a still over here would the girls swipe some of the results?"
Xander laughed. "Hell, yeah."
"So, can I?"
Suspecting II
Word Count: 100
Something was happening.
Xander had initially denied Hawkeye's request, because Drunk Slayers quickly became Dead Slayers, but when the doctor had struggled to his feet to get circulation moving, Xander questioned the logistics of a gin still.
The sounds of dishwashing had ended but no girls had joined Xander and Hawkeye.
The sounds of giggling and amusement had increased.
Hawkeye accommodated Xander. He told stories of Korea, making Xander laugh.
But Xander's eyes kept straying back toward the door.
Something was happening.
But what? And why was everyone trying to hide it from Hawkeye? What secret didn't Hawkeye already know?
Sharing
Word Count: 100
"Xander."
"Dr. Hawk?"
"What's going on?"
"On? Why nothing, Doc."
Hawkeye gave Xander a look Colonel Potter used to give him and B.J.
Xander smiled. "Can you wait?"
"It's not like I can grow old, I'm already there."
Xander laughed.
"Xander."
"Dr. Hawk?"
"What's going on?"
"You're not very patient."
"That's what I have hurt people for."
Xander looked confused.
Hawkeye got frustrated. "You know, patience, patients? Never mind, what are you and the gals hiding?"
"How would you like to get a paycheck for helping us?"
Hawkeyed stared. "You're nuts."
"Are you refusing to help?"
"Hell, no."
"Then paycheck?"
Shocking III
Word Count: 100
"Paycheck? At my age?"
"You'll earn it." Xander promised.
"This feels like I'm being drafted, only with emotional blackmail."
"Whatever's best for the girls. You are really good. You rocked with the parts of Kathleen we had on that kitchen table."
"You need someone younger, who knows and can use the latest technology. Someone who has good contacts with the local hospital and medical community."
"We have you. The girls like you. You are our number-one draft pick."
Hawkeye grimaced. "At least, the government isn't forcing me."
"We can ask the President to make it an order."
"A joke, right?"
Sharing II
Word Count: 100
"We have to ask the others before you can get a paycheck."
"A paycheck's not necessary, Xander," Hawkeye said.
"Fine," Xander grinned. "I want to brag to the others that I recruited the most useful new member for the year."
Hawkeye winced. "It's sad that an old, retired man is going to be the most useful member joining."
Xander stopped and stared at Hawkeye in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? I'm bringing a war doctor to the table. Giles will be thrilled and the other Girls' Houses will be drooling with envy. But first we have to vote you in."
7. Chapter 7
Screening
Word Count: 100
The communications room had flat-screen monitors hung on every wall. The vast majority of the framed faces were female. Hawkeye shouldn't have been surprised but he was.
"He's old," the blonde from 'Rome' diagnosed.
"So's Giles," the 'Brazilian' redhead countered.
"Is he as useful as Giles?" the blonde asked.
Xander was quick to defend. "He saved Kathleen's life and didn't freak out too bad when a vampire went poof in front of him."
"He's a government plant," a young man with spiky hair exclaimed.
Hawkeye choked. "Hell no."
"Sorry Andrew, he's not," the redhead said. "I checked."
"All in favor?"
Swearing In
Word Count: 100
"Aye!" most chorused.
"I abstain!" Andrew pronounced.
Most of the other representatives rolled their eyes. For an International organization that protected the Earth, Hawkeye found them incredibly relaxed.
"The overwhelming majority has voted 'Aye'," Giles pronounced.
"And one abstaining vote," Andrew reminded.
Giles continued as if the young man hadn't spoken. "Dr. Pierce, we welcome you to the Watcher's Council."
"Now it's time for the swearing in," the brunette with Buffy bounced excitedly.
Hawkeye looked to Xander. "What would you swear on?"
He was met with an evil grin. Looking around, all he saw was evil grins.
Oh-oh.
"Scooby Dance!"
Scaring
Word Count: 100
Hawkeye didn't know what scared him more: that the government knew that vampires existed or that they considered Xander and his girls experts and stayed mostly out of the way. Since when did any administration, big or little, show wisdom?
Or maybe . . .
What could possibly convince an administration to keep a hands-off policy but a SNAFU? How big a mess-up would have to happen before the federal government would release control? Not that they weren't trying to court every one of the girls given half a chance . . .
But how big? How deadly?
Suddenly, Hawkeye feared. Had they learned the lesson?
Scolding
Word Count: 150
Smiles greeted Hawkeye's presence, as if he hadn't dropped in unannounced at two in the morning.
"Dr. Hawk, everything okay?" asked Laura.
"No."
Everyone looked worried. More than one reached for their weapons.
"You girls went on patrol," he growled. "And not a one stopped by to tell me that no one was hurt." His eyes examined each face. He stopped at one very pale one. "JM?"
"Zeroes in on a hurt Slayer faster than a master vamp," Kathleen whispered to Laura.
Laura nodded in agreement.
"JM, come with me. Laura, from now on, I want every girl who patrols to see me before going to bed."
"We didn't want to wake you up."
Hawkeye snorted. "My light was on, you knew I was awake."
"It's not that bad Dr. Hawk," JM tried to demur.
"I'm the doctor," Hawkeye snapped. "Let me decide. And if you argue, I'll tell Xander."
8. Chapter 8
Scolding II
Word Count: 100
"You forgot about me, didn't you?"
Hawkeye nearly had a heart attack. The voice came from the shadowed corner of his back porch. A figure shifted, groaned and tried to stand. By now, Hawkeye recognized his clumsy gate and moved to assist. The elderly man grasped onto Hawkeye's arm for support, Hawkeye returned the favor. He had to tighten his hand around the arm to feel the aging form underneath. At his feet, Hawkeye kicked the mostly empty suitcase.
That explained all the layers. "Did you put on every piece of clothing you brought?" he teased.
"It's cold out here!"
Sipping II
Word Count: 150
Hawkeye scurried around his kitchen, urging the stove and the coffee maker to work faster. His visitor was chilled to the bone and at his age, it just was not healthy. He threw a pair of frozen dinners into the oven, musing that they were somehow appropriate; they always reminded him of Korean camp food, only with more taste.
His visitor was sitting at his kitchen table pouting, shivering, sipping his hot coffee.
"I am sorry," Hawkeye offered. "I don't know how I managed to forget." Well, he did, but he couldn't share. Council business managed to suck up all his time. Meetings and more meetings; Hawkeye had the nasty feeling that Giles was grooming him for a bigger role and Hawkeye couldn't seem to be irreverent enough to dissuade the leader.
Thick glasses hid his visitor's eyes. "You are getting old, Hawkeye."
Hawkeye grinned. "I'm glad you're here, Radar."
Shoveling II
Word Count: 150
He had a new respect for Xander and girls. He understood them so much more now. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly was visiting him and Hawkeye was doing his best to keep his friend far away from the supernatural. Oh, he knew that his friend could handle it; Radar was a veteran, but Hawkeye would prefer that he didn't have to.
Hawkeye couldn't believe all the Council . . . stuff that had collected around his house. Kathleen regularly left demon books at his house, and he still hadn't cleaned up from distilling the anti-venom that JM had needed last month. So now that was set up next to his gin still and his gin still was dusty because he couldn't afford for something else to make his hands shake . . .
But he was a good liar and Radar was an honest soul.
Two weeks down, two to go.
And Radar would leave none the wiser.
Scaring II
Word Count: 150
"He's cute, you know, for an old guy."
Hawkeye laughed as hard as Radar blushed.
"Does he know as much as you do about sex?"
Radar blushed harder.
Hawkeye snickered.
"'Cause, you know, that last trick you mentioned works great."
Hawkeye stopped snickering and looked at the young Slayer, Kate, astonished.
"Not that I tried it, mind you, but Laura told Nina who told Faith who went bar-hopping to find the perfect guy to experiment on and she did, I guess, 'cause Nina said that the guinea pig has been calling the S. . . Girl's House for two weeks straight and Faith wants to know if you know of any more tricks. Hasn't she called you?"
Wordlessly Hawkeye shook his head.
"Oh," Kate looked disappointed. She glanced at the clock and her jaw dropped. "Crud. I'm going to be late."
The door slammed.
"She's as scary as Major Houlihan."
Sputtering
Word Count: 100
"How many children did you and Beth have? Five?"
Radar sputtered. "That's besides the point. We were married. It was six."
"How old are you, Radar? Still blushing at the mention of sex?"
"That's besides the point, Hawkeye. She's just a girl. She's not married and . . . you really shouldn't talk to her about sex."
"She started it."
"Hawkeye!"
The retired doctor grinned. It was still just as fun, getting Radar worked up about something. He leaned back and sighed. "Margaret loved that move. Telling them her favorite bed secrets is as close to sex as I'm going to get."
"Hawkeye!"
Seeing III
Word Count: 100
Hawkeye, JM and Radar were star-gazing. JM was fidgeting. Radar was fidgeting. Hawkeye had already asked JM if she was okay. She had responded with a curt 'fine.' But why was Radar shifting every other second?
Finally Radar stopped.
"Yes, Radar?" Hawkeye prompted.
"It's nothing."
"Radar!"
"It's just . . . I have the same feeling that I used to . . . in Korea . . . that wounded were incoming. But that's impossible."
JM's eyes were automatically drawn to the fence between Hawk's house and the Girls'.
Just in time to see Laura and Kathleen jump the fence.
JM sprinted into the house for Hawkeye's black bag.
9. Chapter 9
Saving II
Word Count: 100
A vampire nest.
A trap.
Multiple wounded.
The survivors were white-faced.
They were gathering weapons to retaliate.
Hawkeye was gathering up the pieces of the five broken Slayers and trying to put them back together. He was barking orders. Xander, Kathleen, JM and Radar were following them. Radar had fallen into the rhythms of a MASH unit as if he was still stationed in Korea. He hadn't forgotten anything significant. Had he been reliving it every night?
Radar.
He hadn't asked any questions.
Yet.
He'd wait until the five broken Slayers were in recovery.
Hawkeye was looking forward to it.
Speaking III
Word Count: 100
"Hawkeye, you're running low on bandages, IV's, and antibiotics."
Exhausted, collapsed on a couch, Hawkeye looked at Radar, a clipboard in his hand. Xander nudged the doctor's arm. "Why isn't he wigging? Everyone freaks out once."
"He's got his lists. He was a supply officer in the war. A damn fine one."
Xander blinked at Hawkeye and with a smile turned to Radar. "How would you like a job complete with a paycheck?"
Now Radar looked uncertain. He adjusted his glasses. "I want to know what's going on. You're not doing anything illegal, are you?"
"Nope. Just saving the world."
Speculating
Word Count: 150
Xander watched Radar flit around the living room, creating lists, taking inventory and muttering to himself. JM was at his right hand, on call to make sure Radar didn't lift anything heavy.
Doctor's orders.
Hawkeye stepped behind Xander to see what fascinated the younger man. Radar was just being Radar, organizing everything to the most useful result.
"He stutters," Xander muttered.
Hawkeye grunted and took another sip of coffee. It was much better than anything he had ever had in Korea; the advantage of a war being fought by a civilian company.
"He blushes. He's socially inept, but no SciFi references."
Hawkeye still found no reason to answer.
Xander finally turned around to look at Hawkeye. "You're absolutely sure that he's not related to Andrew?"
"Yes."
"Damn," the one-eyed man swore. "I was hoping that this was an indication that Andrew might be useful by the time he gets old."
Screaming III
Word Count: 100
The pounding on his door woke Hawkeye from his nap. Yes, he napped, normally early afternoon while the girls were in school. He had his pride.
If his neighbors had a true emergency, they would have used the hidden key or just broken down the door. Hawkeye respected Xander's carpentry skills. The man had had to replace Hawkeye's back door twice.
So now he was awake, grouchy. Radar must have been sleeping too, since he hadn't answered the door.
Someone was still pounding.
It was Xander.
"What!" Hawkeyed yelled.
"You didn't tell me Radar was a Seer," Xander yelled back.
Schooling III
Word Count: 100
"Don't be ridiculous." That was the first thing Hawkeye said after he recovered from his shock. "Radar's not a seer. Seers don't exist."
Xander rolled his eyes. "Sure they don't. Neither do vampires or slayers, demons or witches . . ."
"There's no need to get sarcastic," Hawkeye interrupted.
"Radar knows stuff before it happens. QEG, Radar is a seer."
"QED," Hawkeye quietly corrected.
Xander waited impatiently. "Well, what have you to say for yourself?"
Hawkeye glared. "Give me a moment. I'm still processing the whole 'Seers exist.'"
Xander rolled his eyes again. "Hurry up, will ya? You're normally much faster than this."
10. Chapter 10
Speculating II
Word Count: 100
"JM said that Radar knew that wounded were coming to the Slayer House before they even arrived," Xander explained.
Giles, seen through the videophone, took off his glasses and wiped them off. "Fascinating."
Xander waited a beat. "Fascinating? That's it?"
"I'm waiting for more information, Xander," said Giles. "Dr. Pierce, I'm guessing that this is more than a one-time occurrence?"
Hawkeye nodded. "Radar always knew when causalities were incoming, before any of the rest of us could hear the choppers. He always had all the right paperwork done before being ordered and what words his CO were about to say."
Speaking IV
Word Count: 100
"I won the contest, right?" asked Xander.
"Contest?" Hawkeye repeated.
"There's a contest for who can recruit the most useful people into the Watchers Council and Seers are always useful."
"What am I?" the retired veteran quizzed. "Chopped liver."
"Nope." Xander's grin was cheeky. "Chopped Doc."
"Now Xander," said Giles. "We'll have to see the extent of Mr. O'Reilly's capabilities. Though he will very useful in organizing your Slayer House, which is always in a bit of disarray . . ."
"Hey!" Xander protested.
" . . . To be named the Most Useful, we'll have to test O'Reilly. See that he can See . . . useful things."
Screening II
Word Count: 100
"How am I supposed to know that?" Radar asked, rather frustrated.
Hawkeye glanced from the picture in his hands to Xander. It was a very good question, in the doctor's opinion.
Xander was glaring at Giles' face magnified on the tele-conference screen. "I'm getting Phantom Menace flash-backs."
Giles flushed slightly. "Mr. O'Reilly, please just toss out a guess of what Hawkeye is looking at."
Radar threw up his hands. "Fine. A spaceship."
Hawkeye's eyebrows raised and he showed his friend the . . . spaceship.
"Very Phantom Menace like."
"Yes, well, no one could top Andrew in suggestions to test Mr. O'Reilly's abilities."
11. Chapter 11
Squeezing
AN: A (very good) idea tossed out by a reviewer. Hope you like how it manifested, ZephyrRS.
Word Count: 150
The 'Seer' meandered around the yard when he heard a slight sound. Radar followed the sniffles to the back building of the Slayer House. There he found Kate.
The last time he had chatted with the teen, she had been teasing, chipper and trying to assert some adult-ness. Now the girl was hiding in a dark corner, curled up and squeezing the stuffin' out of a stuffed rhino. Kate spotted Radar soon after he spotted her.
She wiped her tears and tried to hide her stuff animal.
Radar leaned against the wall by her side. He would have sat next to her but he might never stand again if he crouched down.
"You won't tell, will you?" Kate nearly begged.
"Miss Kate, I took a teddy bear to Korea."
"Really?"
"You can ask Hawkeye. I would show you but the poor bear barely survived the war, I left it behind."
Schooling IV
Word Count: 150
"So it's okay to sleep with a stuffed animal?" Kate asked yet again.
Radar reassured her yet again. "Yes, it is."
"You sure? The other Slayers will tease me."
"Maybe."
"Don't tell me you haven't heard the story of Mr. Gordo?" Xander added from the doorway. Both Kate and Radar were surprised to see him there.
Kate blushed and pretended that Xander hadn't heard their conversation.
Radar asked the question. "Who's Mr. Gordo?"
Xander was looking straight at Kate when he answered. "Buffy's stuffed pig."
"Buffy Summers?" Kate looked flabbergast. "She has a stuffed pig?"
"Had," Xander corrected. "All through . . . everything. But it didn't make it out of Sunnydale."
"And you didn't buy her a new one?" Kate was insulted on the Eldest Slayer's behalf. The fourteen-year-old got a determined glint in her eyes.
Xander got a scared one in his.
And Radar? Radar was just confused.
Shopping
Word Count: 200
Kate pouted in the back seat. Xander kept glancing at her through the rear-view mirror, worriedly. Even Radar was disappointed in the results of their shopping expedition. Who knew that shops didn't sell stuffed pigs? Dogs, cats, and bears, but no pigs.
And Kate was horrified at the idea of buying Buffy anything but a stuffed pig.
Radar agreed with the sentiment. He looked out the window. "How 'bout that one?" He pointed at a store up ahead.
"Tractor Supply®?" Kate asked doubtfully.
"Wouldn't hurt to try," Xander pulled into the parking lot. He was, of course, on a mission to lighten a Slayer's depression. If he could help two Slayers, so much the better.
Kate dawdled getting out of car, but sprinted around the guys to be the first into the store. By the time Xander and Radar stepped inside, a sales-woman was pointing to a back corner and Kate was bouncing with excitement. Xander thanked the woman on Kate's behalf and then followed the little Slayer.
"So which one looks like Mr. Gordo?" Kate had her arms full of options.
There was no contest. "This one."
The wattage in Kate's smile could have kept Cleveland lit for days.
Sending
Word Count: 100
"No peanuts."
Xander eyed the determined girl –who happened to be a Slayer- and was brave enough to argue. "We have to pack it some way."
"No," Kate repeated. "We're not sending just anything . . . it's impersonal. No peanuts."
"There's the blanket that Doc Hawk operated on. The washing machine ripped it up good taking out the blood," Laura offered.
Kate thanked the elder Slayer with her eyes before hurrying to the washroom for said blanket. When she returned with the blanket, Xander thought that the rips looked more handmade than washer-induced.
He was wise enough to keep his mouth shut.
Seeing IV
Word Count: 150
"Package for you."
Buffy barely looked up from the sword she was sharpening.
"From Cleveland," Dawn tried to perk her sister's curiosity. She didn't know what was worse for Buffy: being with the Scoobies or being away from the Scoobies.
"Uh-huh."
Dawn sighed and threw the box at Buffy's head. Buffy caught it one-handed and set it by her side on the couch. Dawn bounced to Buffy's other side. "Open it already!"
Buffy rolled her eyes but reached for the package. The sword made short work of the tape. Buffy flipped the blanket open carelessly.
She caught her breath.
Bit her lip.
Dawn only saw a hint of pink fur. She leaned closer as Buffy pulled out the stuffed pig. Then Buffy smiled sadly and pulled out a second pig, this one with black and white fur.
Buffy hugged both pigs.
So tight, oh, so tight.
Dawn saw it all.
12. Chapter 12
Sharing III
Word Count: 100
"Xander, phone." Laura held the cordless out to the young man, her face white. "It's Buffy."
Xander paled slightly, accepted the phone and walked out of the room.
Hawkeye leaned into JM. "What's wrong?"
She whispered back to him. "Buffy's . . . the Oldest. Do you realize how many apocalypses she's stopped?" Hawkeye heard the awe, the hero-worship in her voice.
"So? Wasn't Xander there too? Aren't they friends?"
"They've had . . . problems. Buffy participates in Council meetings, but nothing personal. She has never, ever called the land line before."
"If it was Council bad news, wouldn't she use the Council line?"
"Yes."
Softening II
Word Count: 100
"Xander."
"Hey, Buff!" he greeted his friend. "What's up?"
"I . . . got your package."
Xander smiled wryly. "Was it . . . okay?"
"More than okay. Buckets-full more."
"Good. Good." There was an awkward pause. "I can't take credit, Kate insisted we do it."
This pause was more sad than anything else. "I don't know Kate, do I?"
"No. She's new."
"Oh. But she never saw Mr. Gordo."
Xander fidgeted. He was thankful that Buffy couldn't see through the telephone. "Someone had to drive her around."
"Put her on, would you? And Xander . . . thanks."
"You're welcome."
The ice between them melted a little bit.
Speculating III
Word Count: 100
The tantrums, the silences, the mood swings; for Hawkeye they added up to something different than it did for Xander.
Xander tried to accommodate Ellen and discipline her as best as he could. He even took her off the Patrol Schedule. Hawkeye knew that they were worried for her sanity. Whispers of 'Dana' had floated around.
But Hawkeye saw Ellen's shoulders relax each night when the girls left without her.
He wished for Colonel Potter and his wisdom and experience.
Hawkeye was no Colonel Potter and neither was Radar.
If he was correct in his diagnosis, what would he do?
Sharing IV
Word Count: 100
"Ellen?"
The brunette turned from the window. She had been watching every other Slayer go 'out' for Patrol. She smiled weakly at Hawkeye. "Hey, Dr. Hawk."
He held up a shoebox full of black-n-white photos. "Help an old man sort his memories?"
She shrugged. "Why not?"
Many of the pictures were of his wife, so beautiful as well as photogenic. The memories, the 'Olympics,' the doctors, patients, and natives; it all came rushing back. For a while, he was lost in the past and had forgotten his initial reason for approaching Ellen.
But then, his trap snapped close.
"Who's this?"
Spilling II
Word Count: 200
Hawkeye grinned at the picture. The dark-haired, dark-skinned male Lebanese dressed a light-colored taffeta dress, complete with accessories. "That's Corporal Klinger."
"He's wearing a dress," Ellen stated curiously.
"He was bucking for a Section 8."
"A Section 8?"
"The crazy charge," Hawkeye explained. "He wanted the Army to declare him crazy and send him home. He hated the war."
Ellen remained silent, but Hawkeye knew she heard what he wasn't saying.
"Did it work," she finally asked.
Hawkeye grinned. "Nope. Colonel Potter saw right through it. He started complimenting Klinger on some of his dresses. As long at it didn't interfere with his duties, Klinger was free to wear whatever he pleased. He often wore a nurse's uniform into surgery."
"What ended happening to Corporal Klinger?"
"That's the funniest part of the story. He fell in love with a native girl, one who had been separated from her parents. So he volunteered to stay longer in Korea to marry and to help her find her family."
"Oh."
Hawkeye wasn't sure if he had said enough or if he should keep talking. Ellen stayed quiet but tears spilled out of her eyes.
"It's okay to be scared."
Ellen silently walked away.
Spying III
Word Count: 300
Hawkeye kept looking through his pictures after Ellen walked away. Margaret had kept in touch with many of the MASH unit. Klinger and his lovely wife had, five years after the war, moved to Chicago. They had had a big family. BJ and Peg had raised two children. Last Hawkeye had heard, they were enjoying their grand and great grandchildren. Winchester, Hawkeye snorted. The crotchety doctor had become the quintessential crotchety old man. He had become the chief surgeon with a good hospital before having a heart attack. Colonel Potter was long gone, but he had several grandchildren who had enlisted in the Army and were tributes to the Potter name. All of the nurses he had . . . ah-hem . . . worked with were long since retired. A good number of them were dead.
These were his friends, closer to him than his own family and most he hadn't talked to in a decade.
"Thanks."
Hawkeye whirled around. Xander was leaning against the back of the couch, looking at Hawkeye's pictures over his shoulder.
"Excuse me?" What was he talking about?
"For talking to Ellen." Xander had been eavesdropping. "I hadn't seen the signs. It's odd for a Slayer to show evidence of fear. Sometimes –often- we forget that they are just little girls looking for an end to their war."
What a scary thought! "Is there an end?"
"Yeah," Xander whispered. "Death. A very smart vampire –and I will heartily deny it if you tell anyone I said so- once said that every Slayer has a death wish."
"There's no one to call a truce, negotiate a treaty, no safe zone."
"They are forever outnumbered by the enemy."
Forget Korea, these girls had it worse. There rumors of peace had abounded, these girls didn't even have that slight hope in their future.
Sending II
Word Count: 100
Hawkeye stood in front of his big bay window. The girls were leaving tonight for the long weekend patrol. They were laughing and chatting, but there was a wariness in their eyes that made his chest tighten. Was this what the good commanders had felt as they sent their men off to war? Had they felt that the morning could not come quick enough?
One of the girls stopped at the end of the driveway and waved.
Hawkeye waved back.
The girl, the Slayer, adjusted the chinstrap of her floppy hat and followed her sisters.
Hawkeye prayed for Ellen's safety.
13. Chapter 13
Speculating IV
Word Count: 150
It was a doctor's worse nightmare.
Especially dreaded when said doctor's primary patients was a group of teen girls.
A pregnancy test in the trash, reading positive.
The question was, what to do? Should he approach Xander? Should he just hang out until he could guess the mother? Or should he make use of the Seer in his guestroom and ask Radar?
At first, he haunted the Girls' House. This one skipped breakfast, but that didn't mean anything since a third of the girls did on any given day, against doctor's loudly expressed orders. That one was mildly ill, but that didn't mean anything since she had been fighting a cold for four months, something magical that Hawkeye couldn't treat. That one had gained a little weight, but around the normal fat storing places, not necessarily the waist.
Why hadn't the girl come to him yet?
Which girl was it?
Spying IV
Word Count: 200
He watched the girls closely for weeks. Hawkeye tried to be available, open and chatty. He tried to catch every one of the girls alone to give them the opportunity to tell him about the baby. None of them did. A couple of them were starting to give him weird looks and avoiding him. Obviously, that plan was backfiring.
So he retreated to his little house and watched from there. Radar gave no indication that he noticed the change in Hawkeye's habits.
One day, he joined Hawkeye at the front bay window to watch the girls leave for the evening patrol.
"You are brooding, according to the girls," Radar said.
Hawkeye whirled his head to look at his short friend. "So?" It was amusing how the cadence and vocabulary of the younger generation seeped into the elder.
"What's wrong?"
Hawkeye confessed. "One of the girls is pregnant and I don't know which one and I'm going to have to tell Xander."
"Oh, is that all?"
This time Hawkeye glared. "I suppose the great Seer from MASH 4077 has seen something in his crystal ball?"
"It's Laura."
"How can you possibly know that?"
"I saw her flipping through your OB/GYN books."
Squeezing II
Word Count: 200
Hawkeye shifted in the comfortable chair in the Girl's House living room. He had been enjoying his nap. What had wakened him?
A furious whisper reached his ears.
"You have to tell Xander."
"I will."
Who were arguing?
"And Doc Hawk. You could tell him and then have him tell Xander."
"I know."
"You have to back off patrols."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes. It's not just you now. You are the oldest here, you are supposed to delegate."
"And who's going to take my patrols? You?" The girl, well if Radar was correct, Laura snorted derisively. "You're barely back on the regular patrol schedule."
Oh. That was Laura and Ellen arguing.
"I can do it. You can't."
"Ellen."
"No. You need to back off patrols and tell Xander and Doc Hawk. Promise me. If you don't tell them, I will."
"Ellen."
"No. Promise me you'll tell them this week –before Friday patrol."
"Ellen."
"Promise me."
There was a steel, the Slayer's backbone, in Ellen's voice that had been missing for a very long time, if she had ever had it. Hawkeye smiled and settled deeper into the chair. With Ellen putting the squeeze on Laura, he wouldn't have to worry.
Sensing
Word Count: 300
"Hey, Doc Hawk, Radar."
The two elderly men looked up from the medical journal they had been arguing over and smiled. They were in the middle of picking a sonogram. Hawkeye finally relinquished the list of models to Radar and offered Xander some coffee.
Xander accepted with a slight nod. His eyes lingered on the sonogram advertisements that Radar would have completely organized before their coffee had cooled now that Hawkeye was out of the way.
Xander found two mugs in the cupboard and set them on the table. Hawkeye filled them to the brim and put cream and sugar on the table. While Hawkeye liked his black, Xander liked to pour in enough sugar to rot a man's teeth.
Finally they sat across from each other. Hawkeye looked into Xander's brown eyes. The physician realized that Xander was scared and barely hid it.
"Who is it?" Xander blurted out.
"What?"
"Radar put in a request for a lot of money and a long list of surgical supplies, more premeditated than ER stuff. You're planning –expecting- heavy-duty trouble."
Hawkeye had always believed in shooting straight with the relatives of patients. "One of your girls is pregnant."
Xander choked on his coffee. He quickly thought through the implications. He frowned at the danger, winced at the Council's reaction and shook his head at the idea of a baby in the Girl's House. "It's Laura, isn't it?"
It was Hawkeye's turn to choke on his coffee. "How the hell did you figure that out that fast?!"
Xander shrugged. "It makes sense," he paused. "Giles is going to have a cow."
Hawkeye snorted and Xander realized what he had said and hurried to correct it.
"I mean, throw a fit, 'cause Giles and a baby cow is a disturbing mental image. And . . . Eewww!"
Swapping
Word Count: 350
Hawkeye drove home from his appointment mad as a hornet. Stupid Tim Cruse. Stupid actor with too much stupid money. Thanks to the high-profile civilian who wanted to see every moment of his child's development, laws had been passed to prevent non-medical personnel from acquiring sonograms.
Even retired doctors.
Hawkeye would have to shell out a lot of money and time in paperwork to declare himself non-retired, which could be a fruitless endeavor, just to get his grubby hands onto a machine that he would only use for one patient.
It had better remain just one patient.
From the damage control the Council was exacting, there should be no more accidental pregnancies.
He hoped.
But he knew that many young female eyes were watching Laura and her pregnancy. They wanted to know if the Council had been telling the truth: could a Slayer lead a semi-normal life that included family?
Hawkeye wanted Laura's baby to make it but he didn't want the other girls to get any bright ideas.
Hawkeye needed that sonogram!
Stupid actor!
He drove into his driveway and saw a moving van blocking the way to his garage. It had to be someone connected to the Council because three of the girls were carefully manhandling the large crate.
Hawkeye's mind flitted to the fact that woman-handling might be a more appropriate word choice.
Radar signed for the crate. Hawkeye backed out of his driveway, let the delivery truck pass and then parked in front of his house.
"Where do you want it, Doc Hawk?" Kathleen asked.
Hawkeye laughed. "What is it?"
"A sonogram," Radar answered. "I swapped with an Army Base for their old one."
Hawkeye wasn't sure if he was astonished or amused. While he might not believe that Radar was a Seer, the smaller man was most certainly King of the Swap Meet.
"What did you have to give them?" Hawkeye asked suspiciously.
Radar grinned. "I talked Klinger into giving a talk to them about the advantages of allowing a soldier to cross-dress in a MASH unit."
Radar definitely came out ahead on that one.
14. Chapter 14
Speculating V
Word Count: 250
It was in the careful way he walked, as if he were made of glass and the floor was cement waiting for him to fall and shatter. It was in the way he lost his balance, repeatedly, but was never surprised. It was in the way he got out of a chair, slowly and in a series of steps. It was in the way he slept a little more and ate a little less. It was in the way that he lost his train of thought in a middle of a sentence and had forgotten his coffee cup by the TV when he was sure that he had left it in the kitchen.
He hadn't seen it at first, since the girls just naturally took up the slack and put things where they belonged. The girls would get things for him so that he wouldn't have to get up. They were kind like that. He had always moved slower than any of the girls. But then the girls seemed to move even faster. And then he noticed that they, though always careful with their strength, were extra gentle assisting him out of chairs, up the stairs, out of his house, across the yard. It was when he knew that he probably wouldn't make it out of the chair, up the stairs, or across the yard without help.
Were the years truly catching up to him now? Now that he had a purpose in life?
Surely not!
He was not old.
Scaring III
Word Count: 100
"_Doc Hawk!"_
The yell echoed throughout Hawkeye's house. It lifted Hawkeye and Radar right out of their chairs. They knew it was bad news before JM rounded the corner.
"Vamp ambush," she panted. "Several hurt. Laura bad." How fast had JM been running to be breathless?
Hawkeye rushed for the back door. JM would bring his medical bag for him. Most of the stuff he needed would be over at the Girls' House anyway. Radar kept on his heels. He would give first aid to those less hurt.
Oh Laura.
Would she lose the baby?
He had work to do.
Stumbling II
**Warning: Warnings have changed for the story. Character Death **
Word Count: 150
"All done."
Hawkeye stretched and looked around. Every eye in the room was focused on him.
Kate's tears streamed down her face. "Will she be okay?"
"I think so," Hawkeye answered honestly.
"The baby?"
"They're both fighters."
Kate tried to smile. She turned into JM's embrace and sobbed.
"Hey," Hawkeye patted her back. "It'll be okay. You're all back alive."
"You have one more patient Doc." Hawkeye turned to a solemn-eyed Xander. "Ellen's in the basement."
What was she doing there? He wondered as he climbed down the stairs.
He stopped.
Stumbled.
Xander caught him.
Ellen was laid out on a slab. Kathleen was gently cleaning off the blood and grime.
Ellen was clawed, head to toe. She had bled out, long before she had been carried to the Girls' House.
Kathleen removed Ellen's destroyed floppy hat and carefully dabbed off the blood.
Ellen would never patrol in it again.
Saving III
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
"Can you fix her, Doc Hawk?"
Hawkeye turned angry eyes on the younger man. Even he could not turn back Death.
"Make her look . . ." Xander's voice trailed off.
"Not like a demon ripped out her guts?" Kathleen inserted.
"Please?"
Hawkeye had never been asked to do such a thing before. The Army couldn't waste their doctor's time with something so frivolous and in the States that's what the morticians were for.
"Please?"
"I'll need my bag."
Xander left to retrieve it.
Hawkeye had to ask. "What happened?"
Kathleen smiled, sadly. "She took the blow meant for Laura."
"She's the hero."
Stitching II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
Hawkeye stood in the doorway and watched Radar instruct Xander. They were stitching Ellen's floppy hat back together again. Radar's hands shook too much to do it himself.
In, out, Radar would point and then Xander repeated the process.
In.
Out.
They were putting the hat back together in a way Hawkeye could not put Ellen back together.
In.
Out.
No words were ever spoken.
In.
Out.
The hat was a symbol of Ellen's fear.
In.
Out.
She had conquered that fear.
In.
Out.
Was she better off than she had been before?
In.
Out.
Hawkeye hoped so.
In.
Out.
Settling
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
Life flowed on.
Yes, Ellen had died.
Yes, they missed her.
Yes, they would remember her.
But life flowed on.
Hawkeye watched the girls remember that life was short; to treasure the little time they had. They had forgotten that death was forever lurking around the corner. He had forgotten as well. The girls normally bubbled over with life. And soon they would again. For now, they watched the sunset, star-gazed and helped Hawkeye with his rose garden. They partied harder and snitched more gin. Hawkeye turned a blind eye. He had his own way of dealing.
Life flowed on.
15. Chapter 15
Sending III
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
He was checking in with an old friend. He was not writing an 'in the event of my death' letter. He planned on living for a while now. A decade at least.
So, that was what he told himself as he addressed and stamped the envelope. He grabbed his cane and hobbled out to the end of his driveway. The letter slid into the mailbox and he put up the little, red, rusted flag.
And he tried very hard not to breathe a sigh of relief.
He hobbled back to the house, dropped into his favorite armchair and fell asleep.
Seeking
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 200
Hawkeye answered the phone on the fifth ring. "Hello?"
"Dr. Pierce?"
Who called him 'Dr. Pierce?' "Yes," he said slowly.
"This is Buffy . . . Summers . . . Xander's . . . friend."
"You're in Rome right now."
"Yeah."
"What can I do for you Ms. Summers?"
"Buffy, please."
"Than call me Doc Hawk like the other girls."
Pause.
"Maybe you could call me Hawkeye, since I'm not your doctor?"
"Hawkeye."
"What can I do for you?"
"I was wondering, since you're working out so great and your little friend Sonic–"
"Radar."
"Radar is working out so well, I was wondering if you have other friends we could hire."
"I gave a list to Mr. Giles."
"There weren't any psychologists on it."
Oh.
"I was looking for one and can't find many that we can tell the truth to and those we can't seem to keep for very long before they burn out or run screaming for Holy Ground or both and we need more badly. I think we go through more psychologists than any other company."
That must be the famous Scooby babble Hawkeye had heard so much about.
"Buffy?"
"Yes?"
"I might be able to help you, and if I can't, Radar probably can."
Scoring
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
"Two pair," Xander laid down his five cards proudly. "Queens over fours."
Hawkeye threw his cards at the younger boy. Xander reached for the pot only to be stopped by Radar.
"Straight, ten-high."
Xander turned the pot over to Radar grumbling, "Should know better than to play cards with a Seer."
"Same time next week?" Hawkeye offered.
Xander nodded. "I'm going to need it after the surprise baby shower." He shivered dramatically. "So much estrogen."
Hawkeye laughed. "You're always welcome here. Maybe you'll win the next one. You've only won three of the Wednesday nights."
"You're keeping score?"
"Of course."
Settling II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 200
"Hello?"
"Buffy? This is Hawkeye."
"Wait a minute, Doc Hawk. This is Dawn. _BUFFY_! _Phone_!"
Hawkeye winced at the volume, his hearing certainly hadn't diminished with age.
"Hawkeye?"
"Hi Buffy."
"Wait a minute, let me get to my room."
Hawkeye grinned. She wanted privacy from her sister. He had to take advantage of it. "Are you going to be taking off any clothes?"
Beat.
"Are you a lewd old man?"
"Yes."
She laughed, harder than the joke deserved.
Hawkeye worried. "I don't have good news."
"Can't find Dr. Friedman?"
"Freeman, Sydney. He's dead."
"Damn."
"That will slow you down?"
"_Yes_."
Okay.
Buffy was talking again. "I'm bummed. A psychologist that said 'Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice' is just the kind of guy we need."
Hawkeye agreed. He found it odd that Buffy couldn't remember Sydney's name but remembered his signature statement.
"What about apprentices?" Buffy asked. "We could settle for someone who learned from your friend."
"He did have a partner."
Buffy mused, "I could try him out."
"Personally?"
Silence.
"Maybe."
"I could listen," Hawkeye offered.
"Doctor those near you, _Hawkeye_. I'll be fine."
But why settle for just 'fine'?
Sending IV
_Warning: Character Death_
Word Count: 100
Busy day.
Weren't they all?
He had confirmed that Laura's baby girl was healthy and growing well. He had stayed off to one side, with Xander and Radar, as the other Slayers had thrown a baby shower. It had been quite amusing. Laura was all set with the car seat, baby carriage, bassinet and highchair.
He had been tired all day. He had found the opportunity to sneak out of the party and come home. He plopped into his armchair, leaned back, put his feet up and fell asleep.
Doctor Benjamin Franklin Pierce, 'just call me Hawkeye,' never woke up.
Screaming IV
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
"_XANDER_! RADAR!"
The two men moved at equal speeds as they hurried out of the Girls House and across the yard to the Pierce household. Many of the girls milling about the first floor followed.
"XANDER! LAURA!"
They could hear tears, panic, and despair in Kate's voice. They rounded the corner to see the youngest Slayer with the elderly doctor in her arms. She held the man out to Xander helplessly.
"He won't wake up!" she cried. She fell to her knees. Tears streamed down Kate's cheeks. Her eyes implored Xander, begging him to change reality. "He won't wake up."
16. Chapter 16
Streaming
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
Cleveland averaged sixty-six sunny days a year, so why did the day of Doc Hawk's funeral have to have a sun blinding in its intensity, and a slight breeze to make the weather perfect?
Xander knew that he noticed the oddest things at funerals, but he couldn't tear his gaze away from the maple leaves dancing in the sunlight. They made delicate patterns on the grass, the mourners . . . and the casket.
The stream of mourners slowly found places around the gravesite; loathe to let this final act of the Doc's life end.
Why was it sunny again?
Saying
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 200
Xander was surprised when Buffy stepped forward to speak. She had dropped everything to fly in for the funeral of a man she had never met face-to-face. As far as he knew, Buffy hadn't had much contact with Hawkeye. Part of him was furious at Buffy's movement, Hawkeye was _their_ doc, _their_ next door neighbor. _They_ knew him better than Buffy ever would. The other part of him was thankful, he didn't want to speak but someone had to say something to all the mourning Slayers. They would listen to the eldest Slayer and her words.
"Sometimes it's harder when they die of natural things," Buffy said. "Nothing to track, to fight, to beat, to kill, to make vengeance against. When my mom . . . sometimes, it's easier. We all want a life away from it all and what better way than to die apart from the supernatural?" Buffy made a nervous gesture with her hands and then shrugged and backed into the crowd.
Willow leaned towards Xander. "I think . . . she said the mostly right thing."
Xander was surprised. It was the last thing he had expected Buffy say.
But it worked.
Kinda.
Who ever said the perfect thing at a funeral?
Slipping
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 160
The girls were crying harder than at Ellen's funeral and trying harder not to. Xander heard the chorus of sniffles but didn't see many wet cheeks. He did see a lot of eyelashes wet with tears that were not allowed to fall.
Radar cried unashamedly. Xander didn't hide his tears either.
They would miss Hawkeye, his laughter, his indomitable spirit, the way he fought for them, the way he was always on their side. They would remember the way he slipped away.
The service was over.
Half the Slayers were already gone, slipped away while Xander was remembering. He would have to send the few that remained to find the ones that left looking for a fight, or a quiet spot. Each mourned in their own way.
Buffy was staring in the distance, a sad half-smile on her face.
It comforted Xander.
Buffy knew where Hawkeye was now and that it was good.
When had she accepted death like that?
Seeking II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
They were looking for Slayers that had left the funeral early. Xander hurried to keep up with Laura. Even pregnant, she had the Slayer grace that Xander would never gain. He wondered once again who was the father of the baby. None of the other girls had even hinted that they knew. Had Hawkeye known?
Xander sighed and Laura smiled at him.
JM and Kate walked out of the shadows and took flanking posts to protect he and Laura. They looked a little scuffed but in good shape. Two down, five more to find.
Where would they find the others?
Sorting
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
Radar was holding up the best. Radar had lived with Hawkeye; they had fought together, saved together, survived together. He sorted through the mementos. He knew the stories behind this china set or that scalpel. He told the stories to a spellbound audience. The Slayers wrote down the stories.
Hawkeye would have his own journal in the Watcher archives. More than one girl had mentioned that they hadn't known that their elderly neighbor had lived such an interesting life. Hawkeye had left his house to the Council. So they had to clean it out.
What to keep, what to trash?
Settling III
Warning: Character Death
AN:/ This idea is catherinecookmn's that filtered down to me and I thank her. It was perfect way to get the drabble epic back on the fluffy-track.
Word Count: 150
It was bound to happen. Something would happen that would push the Slayers back into their more 'normal' lifestyle.
Not two days after burying Hawkeye, something supernatural came a-knocking and distracted the Slayers and Xander from their mourning.
At least it wasn't an apocalypse, though the jury was still out on whether or not this specter was on the Light Side or the Dark Side.
The ghost had just appeared one morning, berating one of the Slayers for the condition of the medical supply closet. The ghost had such a presence about her that the poor Slayer had tidied the closet before realizing that the ghost could not exact revenge if her order, and yes they were orders, were not carried out to her exact specifications. The see-through woman was determined to get Girls' House into tip-top shape with post haste.
How were they supposed to deal with this now?
17. Chapter 17
Sorting II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 230
"Your ghost knows that she is a ghost?" Giles queried.
"Yep," answered Xander.
"And she's not violent?"
"Nope."
"Not at all?" Giles looked over his glasses.
Xander shrugged. "Not really, some empty treats, but they barely register on the Slayer Threat Scale. Oh, she mentioned how she loved good leather. She was talking about an ex-fiancé whose best gift to her was a fine leather whip."
"A predilection toward violence," Giles murmured and flipped through another dusty book. "Everyone can see her?"
"Supernatural only, yeah. One of the new girls' parents stopped by and never saw her."
"How curious. But she is bound to the Girl's House," Giles confirmed.
"Actually, no she isn't. She showed up in Wal-Mart when Laura was there buying pre-natal vitamins. She was full of advice and according to Laura, is up to date on the latest medical research."
"Then she's died recently."
"Nope. She hinted that it's been about ten years."
"Bugger," Giles whispered. "She doesn't fit into any of the Watcher's categories for ghosts, specters and other deceased apparitions."
"Does that mean that you don't know how to get rid of her?"
"At this moment."
"Giles," Xander whined, "she's driving us nuts! She wants everything cleaned in a certain way, especially the medical equipment. We don't want to! We want to leave it alone for a while."
"We'll sort it out, Xander. I promise."
Surprising
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 133
"And move that box over there," the ghost ordered the five youngest Slayers.
Kate finally got fed up with all the commands. She dropped the box (in such a way that nothing broke) and crossed her arms across her chest. "Why should we? Doc Hawk liked it this way. I think we should keep it the old way."
The ghost glared and most of the Slayers quailed. "That might be true but you need to look to the future and as good as your previous doctor was, he was horrible at organization."
"You knew Doc Hawk?"
"I worked with him."
"In Korea? Or in the hospital?" asked Kate.
"Yes."
Laura heard the answer and sent JM over to the Pierce house for Radar. They hadn't thought to ask the Seer about their visitor.
Sputtering II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
"Major Houlihan!" Radar shrieked.
The woman-ghost looked rather smug at his reaction.
"You're here? But you're dead and you look pretty and young. Why do you look pretty?"
The ghost frowned and Slayers all around the living room snickered at the hole the elderly man had dug for himself. He had reacted badly to the ghost and had sputtered into incoherency.
Kathleen leaned close to JM. "I didn't know that Radar was that bad with women. How'd he even end up married?"
JM whispered back, "And why did the major let him leave Korea intact?"
That was the true mystery.
Shoveling III
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
When Laura came down the stairs that night, she was met with a familiar smell. That was the fluid –a special Slayer recipe- for sharpening bladed weapons. So when she rounded the corner and walked into the living room, she smiled at the numerous Slayers bending over their work.
Then she realized that they weren't sharpening swords, or knives or any other weapon useful against demons. No, they were sharpening shovels, the weapon of preference against significant others or ex-significant others.
Xander lounged by her side and smirked. "So what's his name, Laura? We have some threatening with shovels planned."
Showing
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 210
Laura Feather took one look in the mirror and immediately changed shirts. Still, she wasn't pleased with her reflection. The bump of her stomach was much too prominent. She might as well put a bull's-eye on her abdomen for the demons. Did she really think this was going to work? Ellen had died for her daughter. How many more would sacrifice for one baby?
In an odd occurrence, her mother had been thrilled to hear that Laura was expecting. They had put their North Dakota ranch up for sale so that they could move to Cleveland to be near their only possible grandchild. Everyone had agreed that Laura and baby would be safest living among Slayers. Thankfully, her parents hadn't asked about the father. Laura didn't even know his name, though she had passed by his apartment last night on patrol and saw that he still lived there. She had only told Xander and the other Slayers the first part though. He had been a generous drunk; he didn't deserve a horde of warriors knocking down his door for knocking up their friend.
Laura sighed at her reflection and decided to steal one of Xander's flannels. He wouldn't mind. It would be warm and comfortable. She needed that right now.
18. Chapter 18
Surprising II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
Xander answered the front door with a frown. The lady waiting there was too old and too not-cute to be a Girl Scout selling cookies or some other fundraiser. She looked a little too impatient . . . put together . . . to be a Jehovah Witness, but who else would come to the front door instead of the back of the Girl's House?
"Yes?"
"Xander Harris?" A slight twist of her lips indicated true amusement.
"Who's asking?" Xander didn't invite her in.
"Erin Hunnicut, MD. Sorry I wasn't here for the funeral, but I had to tie up loose ends before moving out here."
Saying II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 150
"And why are you here again?" Xander asked in disbelief.
"Uncle Hawkeye, Dr. Pierce, sent for me. He wrote a letter to my dad, saying that he had the perfect job opportunity for me, something to make my retirement interesting."
"And what was the job description?"
"Taking care of you guys."
"Did he happen to mention what we did or why we took advantage of having a doc next door?"
"Nope. Just said that I was needed and asked me to come."
Xander shook his head in shock. "Let me get this straight. A man you've seen maybe thirty times in your life asks you to retire from your hospital job and you just do it?"
"For Hawkeye? Yes. My father would never forgive me if I ignored the . . . request. And I saw Hawkeye more than thirty times in my life. It was almost twice a year ever since Korea."
Showing II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 110
"Doctor Hunnicut! What a pleasure!"
Erin spit out her water all over the table. "Aunt Margaret? You're dead! But you look better that you did when I last saw you!" The girls' jaws dropped. How come this non-supernatural visitor could see their ghost?
Said ghost primped slightly. "I know. Death is the ultimate revitalizer."
Erin looked around with a grin. "Does that mean that Uncle Hawkeye is hanging around here someplace?"
"No," Margaret looked frustrated. "He's still in orientation and the PTB won't let him out until he knows, understands and promises to follow all the rules."
Erin snorted. "That'll take a while. Uncle Hawkeye likes to buck all institutions."
Streaming II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 200
" . . . Here are the bandages, Dr. Hunnicut, and the scalpels, all cleaned to my specifications."
"Which make them cleaner than any ER," Erin interrupted the steady stream of comments with a grin.
Margaret preened. "But of course, Dr. Hunnicut. I wouldn't want you to start your new job with anything less."
"Aunt Margaret, you were there for my graduations and my wedding. You, out of all people, should call me by my given name."
Margaret shook her head. "No, I shouldn't. I'm here to work. You're here to work. There shouldn't be any excess of familiarity on the job."
"Uh-huh," Erin was not convinced. "How many times did you and Uncle Hawkeye get caught in a closet together when you worked in the same hospital?"
The ghost blushed slightly. "We only worked at the same hospital for six months before he moved."
"Dad laughed so hard when he heard the story, but I think that part of him was surprised that you let him out of your sight to a different hospital with pretty nurses."
Margaret shrugged. "Hawkeye liked what he had at home and wasn't willing to risk it. You know, he never cheated on me while we were married."
Surprising III
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 120
"Vampires?" Dr. Hunnicut repeated in disbelief.
The various Slayers nodded. Erin looked at the bent crowbar and the ghost of her 'favorite aunt'. They spoke the truth. It had to be the truth. Uncle Hawkeye wouldn't have asked her to move out here for a house of lunatics. She didn't know what to think, which was probably why she was currently mourning the loss of the crowbar. Her father had given it to her when she had bought her first used car.
Did her dad know? Had Uncle Hawkeye told him what had occupied his final year on earth?
Why wasn't she surprised that Hawkeye had ignored a chance at a restful end to his life to help these girls?
Sorting III
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
Erin brushed a finger over the horrible handwriting. If Hawkeye had really been preparing for a replacement, he would have gotten a scribe. She could barely read the diagnosis in the file. A broken bone, she guessed. Tears filled her eyes and she brushed them away. She would miss her uncle Hawkeye, but it was time to put her emotions to the back of her mind and concentrate on her duties, duties that Hawkeye had asked her to take up.
She would make him proud.
Erin set aside another folder, organizing it to her preferences.
Uncle Hawkeye, I miss you.
19. Chapter 19
Sensing II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 110
Laura should have figured it out when Radar had arrived early and plopped himself on the living room couch. She should have been suspicious when Xander had sent the younger Slayers on a multitude of chores that took them far away from the Girls' House. She should have been warned when the new doctor had closely examined all the surgical tools that Doc Hawk had left behind. Hell, she should have sensed it when she, Laura Grey Feather, had decided to clean the nursery one last time.
But hell No! It took the first strong contraction for her to know that today was going to be her daughter's birth day.
Scoring II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 190
"I say, nine, what say you, Xander?" asked Kathleen.
Xander smirked. "Nine point two."
The Slayer in the midst of giving birth growled at the two of them.
"I say that you have to rearrange your scale," Dr. Erin said from the foot of the bed. She grinned at the shocked looks the others gave her and shrugged. "The contractions are going to get worse before the baby arrives."
Ghost Margaret poked at the pile of towels waiting for the new arrive and humphed. "Just like your father, always a witty comment in the OR. I don't think these towels are soft enough for a new baby. Radar!"
"Yes, Major?" Radar did not enter the 'delivery room.'
"We need softer towels for the baby."
"Yes, ma'am."
Margaret nodded and turned back to the patient. "Laura, you're doing well."
Laura grinned through the sweat and the pain. "Thanks. Don't mind the scoring, Major Margaret, it distracts . . . Argh!"
"That was a nine point two," Kathleen pointed to the finger indentations in the birthing chair as proof.
Xander agreed and then ducked as Laura tore off the armrest and threw it at him.
Slipping II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 160
"Just one more push, Laura. You can do it," Dr. Erin coached.
Laura swore at her doctor but pushed anyway.
"Here . . . she is, . . .Laura. Your beautiful . . . beautiful baby girl."
Laura grew frightened at the pauses. "Is she okay?"
"She's just . . . fine." Suddenly Dr. Erin's face lit up. "Ready to take her, Xander?"
"Hell, no. I watched her slipping and sliding around in your arms, Dr. Hunnicut. I don't want to drop her."
"Drop her!" Laura shrieked.
"If you drop her, just pick her up," Dr. Erin advised calmly.
"No thanks."
Kathleen peeked at the floor at the foot of the birthing chair. "So that's why you made us put blankets down there. I thought you were just saving time on clean up."
Laura growled. "You thought that you might drop my baby!"
Dr. Erin flushed slightly. "It only happened once. The towels jinx it, I promise."
Laura still glared.
"Babies are slippery. I'm sorry, it's a medical fact," explained Dr. Erin.
Surviving
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 185
Kathleen cleaned the baby, directed by Major Margaret. Dr. Erin cleaned Laura. Xander stood well out of their way mostly useless, until Major Margaret noticed him and sent him scurrying for the baby cleaning wipes. He jogged out of the 'delivery room' and ran into all the Slayers. He guessed that he hadn't been as sneaky as he had thought, sending them out on errands. He gave them all a big smile. "She's good. Both shes are good. They survived just fine, with passing colors even."
Kate threw herself into Xander's arms with a cheer. All the other girls joined in.
JM tugged on Xander's sleeve. "So what did Laura name her?"
"I . . . don't know."
Kate promptly released Xander and shoved him back into the delivery room.
"Ellen Hawk Feather," Laura answered the question before Xander could open his mouth. He grinned. Too cool.
Major Margaret was speechless, thrilled that her husband was going to be remembered. That his late work survived his passing. Then she noticed that Xander was empty-handed. She pointed to the doorway. "We need those wipes."
"Yes, ma'am." Xander obeyed.
Sleeping
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 170
Xander watched Laura and little Ellen sleep in Laura's room. They both slept hard as rocks. They had had a hard day; being born was hard work. They slept as if they knew that they were protected.
And boy, were they ever protected. Two Slayers now stood watch at night, on guard against anything that might attack the Girls' House. Laura would find out about that tomorrow but tonight she slept soundly with her baby.
Xander had been understandably unnerved at the idea of a baby in the Slayer House but looking at the mother and daughter, he knew that it'd be okay. They had just given every single Slayer hope. It was worth it, worth the late night feedings and the smelly diapers.
He yawned and decided that it was time for him to go to bed as well. It was late and the patrolling Slayers would return in a few hours, full of reports that he'd have to transcribe.
But that was okay.
There was Hope for tomorrow.
20. Chapter 20
Seeking III
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 200
"Xander, have you seen Major Margaret?" asked Kate.
Xander looked up from his desk. It was still odd that Xander had his desk, in his office. He thought about Kate's question. "Nope. Not since yesterday. Check around Ellen or Laura."
"I already did. Not there."
Xander frowned. "She likes to watch the sparring practice."
"Checked there too."
He had a sudden, frightening, thought. "No one else is pregnant, are they?"
"If they are, it hasn't reached the rumor mill."
Xander eyed Kate warily. "Why do you want to talk to Major Margaret?"
She blushed furiously even as she quickly denied his fears. "I'm not pregnant. Promise."
Xander grunted. "You better not be. Did you check the Pierce house?" He let the subject lie. He had a feeling that he really didn't want to know why Kate was seeking out the ghost.
"Yep. Radar was sleeping, which means that he's no fun for the Major."
"Doc Erin?"
"She hasn't seen Major Margaret all day."
"That's odd," Xander mused. "She likes gloating in the doc's successes, especially the awards and certificates, the major conned you girls into putting on the wall."
Kate shrugged.
"Well, keep on looking. I'm sure she's here somewhere."
Sputtering III
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 120
"Let me get this straight," Giles was polishing his glasses. "You lost your ghost Major."
"Yes!" Xander exclaimed.
"And you want me to find her."
"Yes." It really wasn't that hard of a concept.
"How long ago were you asking me for a way to get rid of your specter?"
Xander sputtered a moment. "But that was before we knew that she was sent from the Powers."
"As I recall, you children normally spurn the gifts of the Powers."
"That's 'cause they send crappy gifts," Xander complained. "But we liked Major Margaret. We want her back."
"You can't," said Radar in the doorway.
"Oh?" queried Giles.
He shrugged, still not used to knowing things. "It was her time to return."
Surviving II
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 100
Hawkeye leered at the pretty woman primly sitting on the clouds. "You're Buffy's mother. It's easy to see where she inherited her beauty from."
Joyce Summers sat up straight. "I suffered through my husband's infidelities. What makes you think that I'll be party to another husband doing the same." Her eyes flickered behind Hawkeye and he knew he was in deep trouble.
Sure enough, there stood Margaret. "Did you enjoy being around all those empowered girls, honey?"
She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. Joyce stood at her side, in the same pose.
"I should start groveling, shouldn't I?"
Shoveling IV
By PaBurke
Summary: it's the drabble that has ended. Period.
Warning: Character Death
Word Count: 111
"Bored already?"
Hawkeye sent a rakish grin over his shoulder to his wife. "Nah."
Margaret floated next to him and looked in on their special charges. The Slayers in Cleveland were playing in the snow. Laura was watching from the window of the Girls' House with her daughter, Ellen Hawk Feather, in her arms. Xander was shoveling the driveway and grumbling.
"I taught him that," Hawkeye bragged. "You have to lift with your knees, not your back."
Margaret smirked as Xander slipped and fell. Kathleen caught him before he could do any damage to himself and took the shovel away from her Watcher.
"That he knew before I met him though."
**I fin /I**
**B HA! /B **
End file.
| fanfiction |
Is electricity constant in standard ECG device? [closed]
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I am reading the book [*Bioelectromagnetism* by Malmivuo et al.](http://www.bem.fi/book/)
I am thinking if you need to use Maxwell equations in electromagnetism of ECG device.
I am not sure if you need to change the current in the application.
**Is electricity constant in standard ECG device?**
If by ECG you mean electrocardiogram, then no. You just need very sensitive amplifiers optimized for small signals with plenty of filtering to get rid of unwanted signals. [This is a good description of how to build one and the problems involved.](http://www.realworldengineering.org/download.php?proj=591&file=RWEP_Final1_740_RWEP_Final1_740_ECGAmplifierDesign_BackgroundLecture%5B1%5D.pdf)
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