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a 53-year - old male patient underwent closed thoracostomy due to left pneumothorax at an outside hospital . due to prolonged air leakage
chest computed tomography ( ct ) demonstrated diffuse lung emphysema with large bullae in both upper lobes and the superior segments of both lower lobes ( fig .
1 ) . a pulmonary function test ( pft ) revealed a forced vital capacity ( fvc ) of 2.69 l ( 69% of the normal range ) , a forced expiratory volume in one second ( fev1 ) of 1.65 l ( 56% of the normal range ) , a fev1/fvc of 61% , and a diffusion capacity of the lung for carbon monoxide ( dlco ) of 11.1 ml / mmhg / min ( 57% of the normal range ) .
arterial blood gas analysis showed a ph of 7.438 , po2 of 59.4 mmhg , and pco2 of 33.2 mmhg in room air .
we concluded that a wedge resection of the ruptured bullae under general anesthesia would be a risky management option due to the patient 's severe emphysema .
therefore , he underwent endobronchial occlusion with endobronchial watanabe spigots ( ews ; novatech , grasse , france ) in the affected left subsegmental bronchi under fibrobronchoscopy .
he was discharged in good condition one day after removal of the chest tube and was followed up in gangnam severance hospital outpatient clinic .
a 66-year - old male patient underwent closed thoracostomy due to a right pneumothorax at an outside hospital ; however , air leakage continued for more than 30 days .
he was then transferred to gangnam severance hospital for further evaluation and management . a chest x - ray and
ct revealed diffuse lung emphysema and bullous change of the bilateral lungs , pneumomediastinum , and subcutaneous emphysema ( fig .
2 ) . pft demonstrated a fvc of 2.24 l ( 60% of the normal range ) , a fev1 of 0.75 l ( 29% of the normal range ) , a fev1/fvc of 33% , and a dlco of 8.2 ml / mmhg / min ( 54% of the normal range ) .
arterial blood gas analysis showed a ph of 7.439 , po2 of 91.8 mmhg , and pco2 of 32.2 mmhg in room air .
the patient 's status was thought to be unsuitable for wedge resection under general anesthesia due to poor pulmonary function .
therefore , he was treated with ews into the apical anterior and posterior segmental bronchi under fibrobronchoscopy .
the ews dislodged spontaneously on the first day after the procedure , necessitating ews reinsertion .
the ews was successfully reinserted to the apical segmental bronchi of the right upper lobe , but the ews could not be inserted into the posterior segmental bronchi of the right upper lobe due to mucosal bleeding and severe coughing during the bronchoscopic procedure . however , air leakage stopped 2 days after ews reinsertion .
pft on the fifteenth day after reinsertion of the ews demonstrated improved pulmonary function as follows : a fvc of 2.90 l ( 78% ) , a fev1 of 1.06 l ( 41% ) , a fev1/fvc of 37% , and a dlco of 6.5 ml / mmhg / min ( 43% ) .
there was no recurrence of pneumothorax during a follow - up period of 5 months .
pneumothorax with prolonged air leakage is a major cause of morbidity and reduces quality of life .
usually , a pneumothorax is curable with chest tube insertion ; however , additional treatments , such as pleurodesis , may be required in intractable cases . if conservative management does not successfully treat pneumothorax , surgery , such as a wedge resection , should be performed .
however , surgical treatment may not be appropriate in patients with low pulmonary function . in these patients , occlusion of the airway with endobronchial blockers may be attempted under fibrobronchoscopy .
watanabe developed an endobronchial blocker , the endobronchial watanabe spigot , and reported occlusion of the bronchus using ews in patients with intractable pneumothorax , pyothorax with bronchial fistula , pulmonary fistula , bronchial fistula , or bronchobiliary fistula .
the ews has an advantage in that it can easily be inserted or removed without specific instruments under bronchoscopy ( fig .
, we confirmed that bronchial occlusion with ews is an effective treatment option for secondary pneumothorax associated with severe pulmonary emphysema in patients with low pulmonary function .
the most common complication of ews insertion is migration , which occurred in one of the current cases . to prevent migration ,
three sizes of ews are available , and a properly sized ews should be selected to help prevent migration ( fig .
there is controversy as to whether the ews should be inserted temporarily or permanently . because permanent insertion may lead to infection , such as a lung abscess , temporary insertion
would be preferable in patients with a current lung infection or risk factors that predispose them to infection .
the balloon occlusion test can be used for the selection of target bronchi . after a swan - ganz or fogarty catheter
an ews can then be inserted into the bronchi if air leakage stops when the target bronchi is occluded . in our cases
instead , we predicted the suspicious segment using chest ct , and inserted the ews into the target bronchi .
if there was no air leakage when the patients coughed several times , we concluded that the ews was inserted into the proper bronchi .
although air leakage did not stop immediately after occlusion , reduction in air leakage aids in the healing of bronchopleural fistula . in the present cases , air leakage stopped on the second day after the procedures .
we concluded that bronchial occlusion with the ews is a useful and safe treatment for cases of intractable pneumothorax with severe emphysema and poor pulmonary function . | pubmed |
cardiovascular diseases are the most common causes of death and disability in all countries , and are the leading causes of sudden cardiac death ( 1 ) . from 65% to 80% of sudden cardiac deaths
occur due to ventricular dysrhythmias ( 2 ) , and implantable cardioverter defibrillators ( icds ) are the most effective treatment for cardiac arrest ( 3 ) and ventricular dysrhythmia ( 4 ) .
overall , patients have accepted icds as life sustaining technology , and they are widely used worldwide ( 6 ) . the first icd was used in 1980 ( 7 ) , and in iran , the history of this device goes back to 1995 ( 8) .
although an icd is much more effective than other treatments in controlling dysrhythmias and heart diseases ( 9 ) , living with an icd is accompanied with challenges for both the patients and their families ( 3 ) .
for example , social and family relationships , physical activity , psychological status , and quality of life are affected after icd implantation ( 5 , 9 ) .
the results of several studies have shown that icd patients experience fear ( 9 ) , anxiety , depression ( 10 ) , dependency , fear of death during shock ( 11 ) , psychological challenges ( 12 ) , financial problems ( 13 ) , changes in social relationships , changes in social roles , sleep disorders ( 14 ) , post - traumatic stress disorders ( 15 ) , and reduced physical activity ( 9 ) .
however , the healthcare team , especially nurses , can increase the success of treatment by understanding the challenges of living with an icd ( 16 ) .
although studies have been done on the quantitative and qualitative aspects of living with an icd , the challenges of living with an icd can be very different .
to the best of our knowledge , the challenge of living with an icd has not been investigated in iranian patients , and information is lacking in this regard . without a full understanding of the problems and challenges of patients with icd , providing comprehensive care to meet
phenomenology is the most appropriate method for understanding the phenomena and meaning of lived experience , and van manen s method of phenomenological research was used in this study .
van manen believed that knowledge and understanding come through analyzing the reflective descriptions of people with relevant experience , and he introduced six methodological steps as a practical approach to the hermeneutic phenomenology ( 17 ) .
the first step refers to the researcher s interest in the phenomenon , and in this case , the researcher was interested in understanding the challenges of patients living with an icd when he was working as a clinical nurse .
the second step was the selection of study participants who exhibited the challenges of living with an icd .
the participants were purposefully selected with maximum variation sampling from those patients referred to the cardiac clinic of the governmental imam khomeini hospital in tehran , iran in 2013 .
seven men and six women participated in this study , and the inclusion criteria were the willingness of the patients to participate in the research and talk about their experiences . those patients with psychological problems and severe illnesses affecting their experiences were not selected .
the researcher introduced himself to the patients , explained the purpose of the study , and obtained informed consent to participate in the study and record the conversations .
the interviews were conducted in a private room in the clinic , and they were performed using semi - structured methods .
individual and face to face interviews were conducted with each participant , who was informed of their right to stop the interview at any time and continue when they were ready . at first , the demographic characteristics of the participants were recorded on a separate sheet , and then , the researcher proceeded by asking questions , such as please briefly explain your heart disease history and medical therapies .
the interview continued with more specific questions like , what does living with this device mean to you ? or
what is it like living with this device ? and to clarify the exploration of the concepts , what did you mean when you said ? or
can you explain in more detail ? the duration of each interview was between 30 and 45 minutes , and the interviews continued until data saturation was achieved , and no new information emerged . in this study , after 10 interviews , data saturation was achieved .
the third step was to contemplate the intrinsic themes to describe the phenomenon . at this stage ,
the researcher used a thematic analysis to determine the main theme of the challenges of living with an icd .
van manen has suggested selective , fractionation , and holistic approaches to analyzing themes . in the holistic approach ,
the researchers considered the text of each interview as a whole , wrote their perceptions of the life challenges , and the text was read frequently with a selective approach .
those sentences , phrases , and words which seemed relevant to the challenges of living with an icd were selected ; then , the same phrases and sentences were transformed to become the meaningful units .
the units obtained from each interview were written on a separate sheet , and the semantic similarities and differences were placed in a separate column .
the fourth step of van manen was the art of writing and rewriting . at this stage ,
the researcher extracted the essential themes of the interviews and wrote them several times to determine a strong description of the desired phenomenon .
moreover , the fifth step was to maintain a strong relationship with the desired phenomenon regarding the main research question .
the sixth step was balancing the research context by considering the parts and the whole .
therefore , the researcher , with regard to the main question , used holistic and selective approaches to maintain the relationship between the whole and its parts . according to lincoln and guba ,
the researcher verified the accuracy of the data with the four criteria of validity , reliability , credibility , and transferability ( 18 ) . in order to increase the reliability of the data and create a deeper understanding of the phenomenon , the investigator used prolonged exposure to the subject and obtained data , reviewing the data and matching them with the experiences of the participants and the observers comments . to confirm the data , the extracted themes were given to the participants and their feedback was considered .
stepwise replication and an inquiry audit were used to evaluate the reliability of the data .
in addition , for the achievement of conformability , all stages of the research were recorded accurately .
it should be noted that the data analysis phase was guided by activities three through six from the interplay activities introduced by van manen ( 17 ) .
this article was based on the design of the research center of the school of nursing and midwifery of the tehran university of medical sciences ( no : 14655 - 99 - 03 - 90 ) , which has been confirmed by the ethics committee of the tehran university of medical sciences . at the beginning of the interviews ,
the participants were informed about the research aims , the confidentiality of the interviews and data , the elimination of all of the recorded information after the end of the study , and their freedom in the expression of their experiences and feelings .
they were informed that they could end their participation at their will , and their consent was obtained .
this article was based on the design of the research center of the school of nursing and midwifery of the tehran university of medical sciences ( no : 14655 - 99 - 03 - 90 ) , which has been confirmed by the ethics committee of the tehran university of medical sciences . at the beginning of the interviews ,
the participants were informed about the research aims , the confidentiality of the interviews and data , the elimination of all of the recorded information after the end of the study , and their freedom in the expression of their experiences and feelings .
they were informed that they could end their participation at their will , and their consent was obtained .
thirteen married participants ( seven men and six women ) between the ages of 21 and 70 years old ( mean = 58.15 , sd = 14.4 ) participated in this study .
their durations of living with icd were between 1 and 120 months ( mean = 23.15 , sd = 33.31 ) .
all of the patients with icds experienced fear , especially in the first months after the placement of the device .
for example , participant 1 said , this device helps me so far , i 'm just worried about its battery discharge . if you had told me before , all the time i was not afraid unduly .
i saw a woman with a depleted battery , she was too much bother .
the participants were worried about their lives due to the lack of knowledge about icd performance with regard to heart problems and timely action .
most of the participants in this study were concerned about the malfunction of the icd device and the displacement of the leads .
when i came to have the device put in , i saw a woman who had been admitted because of system failure .
the participants who had the experience of receiving an electrical shock from the icd expressed it as the very worst moment of living with an icd .
they stated their feelings differently ; for example , one woman said , this device has given me so much shock .
the situation got so bad that i saw death with my own eyes ( participant 8) .
those participants who experienced receiving a shock from the icd described it as a painful experience . in this regard , a participant stated , much painful the shock .
it seems it presses you from within ( participant 13 ) . with regard to receiving electric shocks from the icd
, the participants stated that during the shock they lost control and become unconscious for a few seconds .
one patient said , so its shock is bad , such an electric shock , i did not notice the shock when i was unconscious
many of the participants faced challenges with the cost of the device , in both the preparation of the new device and the regular follow ups after implantation .
i was dispatched to tehran city , i needed a few hundred million rials , and it was too expensive .
i must come to get the control device and visit the doctor every six months
they had problems such as limitations in movement , driving , sleeping , traveling , medical diagnostics ( such as mris and dental procedures ) , passing through the checkpoint at the airport , living near high voltage pylons , and heavy work .
one participant expressed , this system has made me limit my work and activity .
another participant said , for example , if i have a small operation , i have to see my doctor to get permission .
if i have cold or any other infection , i must go to the doctor because i have this device .
another said , every day i expected a shock , even after two months i thought it .
it was gone in my mind and i suddenly stopped when driving , i told myself if i was shocked i can not control my car ( participant 13 ) .
i have the habit to sleep in this position , so it disrupted my sleep ( participant 6 ) .
all of the patients with icds experienced fear , especially in the first months after the placement of the device .
for example , participant 1 said , this device helps me so far , i 'm just worried about its battery discharge . if you had told me before , all the time i was not afraid unduly .
i saw a woman with a depleted battery , she was too much bother .
the participants were worried about their lives due to the lack of knowledge about icd performance with regard to heart problems and timely action . as stated by one participant ,
most of the participants in this study were concerned about the malfunction of the icd device and the displacement of the leads .
when i came to have the device put in , i saw a woman who had been admitted because of system failure .
the participants who had the experience of receiving an electrical shock from the icd expressed it as the very worst moment of living with an icd .
they stated their feelings differently ; for example , one woman said , this device has given me so much shock .
the situation got so bad that i saw death with my own eyes ( participant 8) .
those are the moments that i remember , i 'm afraid ( participant 5 ) .
those participants who experienced receiving a shock from the icd described it as a painful experience . in this regard ,
with regard to receiving electric shocks from the icd , the participants stated that during the shock they lost control and become unconscious for a few seconds .
one patient said , so its shock is bad , such an electric shock , i did not notice the shock when i was unconscious ( participant 8) .
many of the participants faced challenges with the cost of the device , in both the preparation of the new device and the regular follow ups after implantation .
i was dispatched to tehran city , i needed a few hundred million rials , and it was too expensive .
i must come to get the control device and visit the doctor every six months
they had problems such as limitations in movement , driving , sleeping , traveling , medical diagnostics ( such as mris and dental procedures ) , passing through the checkpoint at the airport , living near high voltage pylons , and heavy work .
one participant expressed , this system has made me limit my work and activity .
another participant said , for example , if i have a small operation , i have to see my doctor to get permission .
if i have cold or any other infection , i must go to the doctor because i have this device .
another said , every day i expected a shock , even after two months i thought it .
it was gone in my mind and i suddenly stopped when driving , i told myself if i was shocked i can not control my car ( participant 13 ) .
i have the habit to sleep in this position , so it disrupted my sleep
this article is part of a research project with the aim of describing and explaining the phenomenon of living with an icd , and the challenges of living with an icd were discussed and interpreted .
moreover , the findings are the participants responses to the challenges of living with an icd . in other words ,
the findings suggest that the patients were faced with these challenges for years . in this study
, some of the participants described the moment of electric shock discharge as a painful and bad experience .
in addition , fear and anxiety were reported in this study as an important challenge , and the participants described concerns about fear and anxiety which were interfering with their lives .
eckert and jones have also noted the fear and anxiety of unpredictable events and an inability to control them ( 12 ) .
inconsistent with the study findings , pedersen showed that the icds did not have effects on anxiety , depression , and the quality of life ( 19 ) .
flemme and colleagues revealed that patients with icds sometimes use coping strategies , but these strategies have been less effective .
however , after 6 to 24 months , it seemed that the patients had accepted the new situation successfully , and that their anxieties decreased .
this researcher proposed that nurses play an important role in follow up screenings in outpatient clinics with supporting and counseling patients with regard to anxiety and stress management ( 20 ) .
moreover , the results of freedenberg showed that younger females and those who have received icd shocks were more vulnerable to emotional stress , and that cognitive behavioral therapy and counseling programs can help to reduce the stress of these patients ( 21 ) . in this study ,
the ambiguities of the future were of concern to the participants , and they had little knowledge about the functioning and care of the device .
they stated that in cases of system failure , they did not know what to do until reaching the hospital .
the participants in this study also described the sense of being uncomfortable and facing death during the discharge of an electric shock .
they described an unpleasant sensation during the shock ( 11 ) . in this study , some of the participants described a painful electric shock .
in addition , rahman suggested that the participants who received electrical shocks experienced severe pain ( 22 ) . in wojcicka s study , electrical discharge ( 67.4% ) , multiple shocks ( 47.2% ) , and phantom shocks were reported in 21.4% of the patients , while anxiety due to icd discharge was seen in 84.4% . about half of the patients
morken showed that the loss of control related to a sudden electric shock discharge in patients with icds could play an important role in decreasing the activity level ( 24 ) .
another finding in this study was that some of participants faced challenges with the cost of the icd and the follow up care ; however , in iran , the hospitals of the ministry of health and medical education pay a percentage of the costs for the device . moreover , many of the participants had difficulties with their regular checkups .
in mcdonough s study , the concerns and experiences of life among patients ( 18 to 40 years old ) with icds included the cost and financial security ( 25 ) . despite living with an icd ,
the device comes with some limitations for the patients ; for instance , restrictions in movement were observed in all of the participants .
this limitation was due to the fear of pain in the incision site and the displacement of leads ( 26 ) .
moreover , patients with icds should be supervised by a cardiologist with regard to any medical procedure .
for example , an mri is absolutely contraindicated in these patients , and medical centers should be informed of the situation .
in addition , patients with icds should not live near high voltage power pylons , which are likely to impair the function of the device .
moreover , because of interferences with the performance of icds , the patients should not be close to electronic inspection devices .
one of the reported limitations of living with an icd was related to driving . in this
. our findings are consistent with the research conducted by eckert and jones suggesting that icd patients , especially those who have experienced electric shocks , do not like to drive ( 12 ) .
zayac and finch suggested that patients with icds have a fear of driving ( 27 ) .
one challenge in physical movement was reported in a study in which all of the participants experienced restrictions of movement because of discomfort in the incision area ( 27 ) . with regard to the importance of the extracted themes in this study ,
palacios - cena stated the need for training , support , and follow up care after discharge from the hospital following icd implantation .
this can be achieved by more interactions of the patients and families with the healthcare associations ( 28 ) .
given the concerns and challenges raised by patients with icds , patient education becomes more prominent in the quality of life .
nurses and clinicians will be able reduce the challenges of living with an icd by providing appropriate education and instructions to these patients .
this study recruited a small sample size because of the nature of the qualitative approach , and the inability to generalize the findings was one of the basic limitations in this study .
a strength of this study was that all of the interviews and transcriptions were performed by the same researcher ( first author ) . | pubmed |
nowadays , fitness , i.e. having an ideal weight and appearance , seems to be very important among young adults ( 1 ) .
fitness is considered an important part of one s identity , which immediately appears in social situations when one is in the presence of others ( 2 ) .
fitness and beauty are representative of many things , such as social base , especially for women ; people use positive features to describe attractive persons , while this is not the case with regard to unappealing persons ( 3 ) .
conceptual belief of weight and fitness has become one of the major criteria of beauty , especially among females ( 4 ) .
it seems more important to teenagers , who face a set of behavioral changes due to their biological , social , and mental growth , including a tendency towards independence , searching for patterns out of family , and their need to be approved by others ( 5 ) .
therefore , a young woman may create a sense of displeasure with her body if she is not satisfied with her fitness , which results in nutrition disorder patterns ( 6 - 8 ) .
it could eventually lead to physical problems ( like malnutrition , obesity , overweight , osteoporosis , and a higher rate of mortality ) and mental consequences ( like lower self - esteem , depression , and anxiety ) ( 9 , 10 ) .
an eating disorder is a syndrome where one s perception of food , body weight , and nutrition patterns leads to potentially life - threatening nutritional and medical complications ( 11 ) .
eating disorders are the most common type of disorders among teenagers after obesity and asthma ( 4 ) .
studies in the field in other countries have reported the prevalence of eating disorders to be 1% to 10.9% ( 12 ) ; in the islamic republic of iran , it has been reported to be from 6.3% to 9% ( 13 , 14 ) .
eating disorders can start as mild forms of disorders in nutrition attitudes and abnormal attitudes to eating , including abnormal attitudes to current and ideal weight , conception of body and eating behavior , and preoccupations with food , its metabolism in the body , and its excretion ( 15 ) .
but later , they can turn into severe clinical and almost irreversible forms like nervous anorexia and overeating , therefore identifying those at risk in this age group is important ( 16 ) .
the prevalence of abnormal eating attitudes in the islamic republic of iran is 16.7% overall ( 16 ) , while among people with normal weight 11.1% , the obese 16.7% , and the very obese 31.8% ( 17 ) .
studies have shown that a focus on mediator and predictive behaviors is essential in comprehensive health education and promotion programs ( 18 - 22 ) . in this regard ,
the theory of planned behavior ( tpb ) is one of the most theories ; it has been applied for prediction of behavior .
tpb was offered by icek ajzen . according to tpb , the primary determinant of behavior is one s intention to engage in a certain type of behavior .
in addition , intention is predicted by three constructs : ( a ) attitudes , ( b ) subjective norms ( sn ) , and ( c ) perceived behavioral control ( pbc ) .
tpb has been applied in studies to link beliefs and behavior in several fields including health - related behavior ( 23 ) .
fitness and its relationship with eating disorders among young adults , many studies have mentioned the role of considered factors in tpb ( 24 - 27 ) .
furthermore , several studies have shown the usefulness of tpb in predicting health behaviors ( 28 - 31 ) .
regarding the absence of similar studies in developing countries , our tpb - based study focused on exploring factors related to fitness behavior intention associated with eating attitudes among a sample of iranian female medical college students .
this cross - sectional study was conducted among 231 female college students at hamadan university of medical sciences in the west of iran , during the winter of 2012 .
the sample size was calculated at 95% , a significant level according to the results of a pilot study . to enroll the participants and collect data ,
first , all of the faculties of hamadan university of medical sciences were considered as clusters .
next , based on proportional to size among the girls student on each faculty , participants were randomly enrolled into this study on a voluntary basis .
only female college students at hamadan university of medical sciences were eligible to participate in this study .
in addition , unwillingness to cooperate with the research team and partially filled out questionnaires were regarded as the exclusion criteria .
then , students in the different schools were randomly selected to participate in the study .
in addition , out of the population of 231 , 227 ( 98.2% ) signed the consent form and voluntarily agreed to participate in the study prior to conducting the main project , a pilot study was carried out .
initially , the relevant questionnaires were administered to 30 female students who were similar to the participants in the main study in order to obtain feedback about the clarity , length , comprehensiveness , and time of completion , as well as the internal reliability of the measures .
moreover , participants were instructed on how to fill self - report questionnaires before gathering information .
the questionnaire included three sections comprising 56 questions : part one ( demographic data ) included 10 questions concerning age ( year ) , field of study ( medicine , dentistry , pharmacology , rehabilitation , paramedics , health , nursing and midwifery ) , educational degree ( bsc , md ) , living in a dormitory ( yes , no ) , marital status ( single , married ) , height ( cm ) , weight ( kg ) , experience with dieting to lose weight ( yes , no ) , taking slimming pills ( yes , no ) , and taking aperients to lose weight ( yes , no ) .
part two ( eating attitude test ) evaluated eating attitudes on a 26-item standard scale .
the maximum score was 78 and scores of 20 or higher were defined as abnormal eating attitude .
this questionnaire was used in several studies in iran and its reliability and validity was proven ( 16 ) .
part three ( tpb variables scale ) ; tpb scales were as a standard questionnaire ( 24 - 27 ) and included 20 items under four constructs , including ( a ) attitude ; ( b ) subjective norms ; ( c ) perceived behavioral control ; and ( d ) behavioral intention . in order to facilitate participants responses to the items ,
all items were standardized to a five - point likert scale , ranging from 1 ( never ) to 5 ( very much ) .
the data was analyzed by spss version 21 using appropriate statistical tests including t - test , anova , bivariate correlations , and linear regression at a 95% significant level .
initially , the relevant questionnaires were administered to 30 female students who were similar to the participants in the main study in order to obtain feedback about the clarity , length , comprehensiveness , and time of completion , as well as the internal reliability of the measures .
moreover , participants were instructed on how to fill self - report questionnaires before gathering information .
the questionnaire included three sections comprising 56 questions : part one ( demographic data ) included 10 questions concerning age ( year ) , field of study ( medicine , dentistry , pharmacology , rehabilitation , paramedics , health , nursing and midwifery ) , educational degree ( bsc , md ) , living in a dormitory ( yes , no ) , marital status ( single , married ) , height ( cm ) , weight ( kg ) , experience with dieting to lose weight ( yes , no ) , taking slimming pills ( yes , no ) , and taking aperients to lose weight ( yes , no ) .
part two ( eating attitude test ) evaluated eating attitudes on a 26-item standard scale .
the maximum score was 78 and scores of 20 or higher were defined as abnormal eating attitude .
this questionnaire was used in several studies in iran and its reliability and validity was proven ( 16 ) .
part three ( tpb variables scale ) ; tpb scales were as a standard questionnaire ( 24 - 27 ) and included 20 items under four constructs , including ( a ) attitude ; ( b ) subjective norms ; ( c ) perceived behavioral control ; and ( d ) behavioral intention . in order to facilitate participants responses to the items ,
all items were standardized to a five - point likert scale , ranging from 1 ( never ) to 5 ( very much ) .
the data was analyzed by spss version 21 using appropriate statistical tests including t - test , anova , bivariate correlations , and linear regression at a 95% significant level .
the age of respondents ranged from 18 to 32 years , while their mean age was 21.1 years ( 95% ci : 20.8 , 21.4 ) .
nearly 9.7% ( 22/227 ) of participants were married and 90.3% ( 205/227 ) were single .
out of the 227 respondents , 49 participants ( 21.6% ) had an abnormal eating attitude .
around 7.5% , 34.8% , and 4.4% of participants reported taking aperients to lose weight , following non - prescribed diets to lose weight , and taking slimming pills , respectively .
table 2 shows bivariate associations among the predictor variables , which were all statistically significant at either 0.05 level .
as can be seen , eating attitude showed the highest correlations with fitness intention ( r = 0.417 ) , subjective norms ( r = 0.416 ) , and attitude ( r = 0.352 ) , respectively ; however it showed no meaningful correlation with perceived behavior control .
a hierarchical multiple regression analysis was performed to explain the variation in fitness intention , using the tpb variables of attitudes toward fitness , subjective norms , and perceived behavioral control . as can be seen in table 3 ,
were statistically significant predictors of the outcome measure . collectively , tpb variables accounted for 40% of the variation in fitness intention .
furthermore , a t - test was performed to assess the relationship between the fitness intention and 1 ) marital status , 2 ) educational degree , and 3 ) living in a dormitory ; moreover , anova was performed to assess the relationship between fitness intention and age .
as can be seen in table 4 , only students who reported living in a dormitory had a significantly higher score for fitness intention . finally , the pearson correlation test showed a positive correlation between heavier weight and fitness intention ( r = 0.214 , p = 0.001 ) ; however , there was no meaningful relationship between height and fitness behavior intention ( r = 0.068 , p = 0.306 ) .
studies conducted in iran reported the prevalence of the disorder to range from 6.3% to 24.6% among college students ( 14 , 16 , 17 , 32 ) .
in addition , studies in other countries also reported it as ranging from 5% to 32% among female students ( 33 - 39 ) .
high rates of abnormal eating attitudes among female college students can be a warning to health policy makers and should be the focus of special attention . in this
regard , determined factors related to abnormal eating attitudes might help health planners to design a prevention program .
the findings of the current study suggest that the following tpb variables accounted for 40% of the variation in fitness intention .
furthermore , two variables of the tpb were strong related to the fitness intention among iranian young female medical college students : 1 ) attitude toward fitness behavior , and 2 ) subjective norms encouraging fitness .
in addition , perceived behavior control was a weak factor in fitness intention prediction . in this regard , several studies reported the role of attitude and subjective norms in predicting behaviors relative to fitness and body satisfaction ( 40 - 45 ) .
considering that nowadays being slim is reported to be a major perceived criterion of attractiveness among females , it seems that females are easily influenced by their peers and friends , due to the fear of being rejected by friendship groups and not being considered attractive , to lose weight by choosing any possible unhealthy behaviors . in this regard , giles et al .
( 40 ) suggested a meaningful relationship between the criteria of being accepted among peers , being in shape , and slimming norms among peers on the one hand , and eating disorders on the other .
thompson et al . ( 41 ) also showed that friends could have a large influence on self - conception and cause dissatisfaction with one s body among overweight and obese females .
as seen in the results , subjective norms could be considered proper predictors of behavior intentions . in this
regard , several studies reported that emulating media images of ideal fitness could result in eating disorders and dissatisfaction with one s body , and could eventually lead females toward abnormal attitudes to eating ( 42 - 44 ) .
eating disorders are considered to be risky behaviors that could be affected by subjective norms related to fitness among females ; therefore , it seems helpful to plan training programs using a variety of methods , such as peer groups , to prevent eating disorders among females .
the results from the present study suggested that there was no meaningful statistical correlation between fitness intention and age ; it could be interpreted that inclination to fitness was not associated with certain age groups .
however , the present study might not argue strongly in favor of this interpretation , as its participants were college students and were within a relatively narrow age range ( 18 to 32 with a mean age of 21.1 years ) .
the study also found that the more obese the females , the higher their fitness intention . as appearance and fitness were primary information resources used in social interactions with others ( 46 , 47 ) , it could be understood that the obese women were more willing to get into shape , which could lead them to unhealthy behaviors .
several studies reported higher rates of abnormal attitude eating disorders among obese people or those at risk of obesity ; it seems essential to plan training programs by experts to avoid the consequences of such behaviors among at - risk groups ( 16 , 17 ) .
although the present study has several strengths , such as being theory - driven and having a high level of participation , the findings reported in our study have certain limitations .
first of all , data collection was based on self - reporting , which is usually prone to overstatement .
second , data collection was limited to a sample of iranian female medical college students in the west of iran , and therefore the results can not be generalized to other populations of college students .
we suggest designing similar studies of medical and non - medical college students in order to collect comprehensive information for the purpose of designing interventions to reduce abnormal eating attitudes among female college students .
our findings showed that positive attitudes toward fitness and encouraging of subjective norms on fitness were significant mediating factors which may improve attitudes toward eating habits and fitness programs among iranian female medical college students .
thus , it seems that it can be useful to design and implement educational programs that encourage positive attitudes and subjective norms on fitness based on the current findings , and as a result prevent abnormal eating attitudes among women . | pubmed |
Ranma 1. Ch 1 Joyfull Awakening
Finally the Tomboy---Chapter 1 --- Joyful Awakening
By Ranger5
This is a work of Fan Fiction. I make no claim of right to any of the characters in either Ranma ½ or any other work used herein. This work is (in its own limited way) a tribute to the creators of the manga and anime series upon which this work is based. It is also not for profit and no financial benefit has (or will be) gained by me from my production of this work. My claim is limited to the original characters created and the story line contained herein. This disclaimer in Chapter 1 shall be construed to apply to each chapter of this story and will not be repeated at the head of the individual chapters which (hopefully) will follow.
Morning was never one of Ranma's favorite times. At least they didn't used to be... but now the martial artist didn't mind waking up . . . no ice- water baths to start the morning, no panda to fight with first thing in the morning, no baths in the koi pond after being tossed out a convenient window, now mornings now were (usually) calm ... almost peaceful.
Ranma-chan blinked and stretched stretching her arms and legs to their fullest extension looking very catlike as she went from utter relaxation to full extension enjoying the play of her muscles. A yawn stretched her pixie-like features momentarily but even the massive yawn didn't mar her beauty.
Happy, she was happy, even waking as a girl no-longer bothered her. For so long she felt that happiness was the one emotion that would be forever denied to her. She might have fleeting moments when the emotion would play tag with her, touching her lightly then darting away . . . present one moment and gone the next as it danced forever just out of reach. But now . . . now she was truly happy. Yes, Chaos was still in her life, never fear that she would be cursed with a "normal" existence, but now she had someone . . . actually a couple of some ones to share her life with, her mate and her daughter. Now she was . . . well happy.
Ranma could feel her love laying next to her heat radiating from her like a furnace. The tomboy slept like one dead and wouldn't even notice she was gone. Ranma-chan smiled softly as she looked at her companion, the one who was indeed her soul-mate. Even now the words "I love you," were difficult to say, but at least she had said them. It was far easier to show them, and gradually over the last few months she had grown comfortable with the physical expression of her love. Now she could even cuddle and kiss in front of her friends without turning fire-engine red, without stuttering and stammering uncontrollably. In fact now it was others who were flustered when Ranma became physically expressive, others who blushed and turned away. The feeling was quite a rush, sometimes Ranma almost felt like an exhibitionist . . . and it felt great.
Rising on one arm chin in he palm Ranma-chan looked at "HER tomboy's" sleeping form, her gaze lovingly, intimate with every feature, every facet of her beloved's face and body, someone she never tired of looking at.
Short hair was tangled and damp with sweat from a night well spent making love. Ranma's smile bloomed fully as she recalled the caresses, the kisses and the flirting games they'd played. It wasn't just sex, it was indeed making love. Ranma knew that if they had just cuddled the night though she still would've wakened with a smile on her face just knowing that she was loved.
Though Ranma-chan sometimes wished her love would let her hair grow out, even just a little, she knew that was unlikely . . . and truthfully she didn't really care. She loved the woman inside the package, though the package was well-wrapped indeed.
Ranma's smile changed imperceptibly from a gently loving expression to one that looked . . . well lustful. For so long Ranma had been afraid of intimacy, afraid to let inner feelings be shown, to many mallets, punches and kicks from Akane or one of the other fiances had nearly killed his ability to care, but that was then. Ranma had grown and matured since then.
Tangled in the sheets of their shared bed she looked so beautiful. Ranma- chan took a few moments and just kept looking, the powerful body naked in all its glory, available to her eyes, hidden only slightly by the rumpled sheets, a curve here concealed just enough to excite, but not enough to cover the bounty before her. Shaking her head, Ranma lay on one elbow, content for the moment to just to look, and to enjoy.
Sleeping the her mate's face was more peaceful than it ever was awake, the expression open and calm. Ranma's smile grew softer, her love had a temper, no doubt about that, but she was loyal and loving as well, always there, always ready to share her life to carry some of the burden. The fits of temper never lasted long, like a summer thunderstorm, there were loud and powerful, but quickly they came and were gone. As their relationship grew the storms came less often, and less powerful than before . . . and as Ranma had learned kissing and making up afterwards was great. Sometimes Ranma thought the storms were more for show than substance, a show of independence so to speak.
Yet, for once the shoe was on the other foot, after one of her tantrums the tomboy was amazingly eager to be forgiven. Ranma had learned that a cold shoulder was more effective than loud argument or invective, Ranma no longer excelled at taunting preferring to show displeasure in other ways.
The naughty expression returned as Ranma recalled the fight last night and how eager the tomboy was to earn "forgiveness." Ranma-chan leaned over and gently kissed her soul-mate's ear, softly breathing out after the initial kiss, and watching as her lover blushed in her sleep, one hand reaching out as if seeking someone else . . . and that someone was Ranma. They might fight, but Ranma could never stay truly mad for long. Even the fiance brigade had been forgiven, though they didn't know it . . . well all but one, and that one she never wanted to see again.
Ranma's kisses feathered down he loves cheek, two no three kisses before Ranma softly kissed her on the lips once, then twice before she sighed and flowed out of bed. Quietly the martial artist ghosted to her closet and dressed in loose pants and shirt. Clothes that would allow her to move freely as she practiced her Art before the others awoke. A lightning quick glance at the alarm clock confirmed that it was 5:30 a.m. well before anyone else in the house should be awake. She had time for her morning workout before fixing breakfast.
Ranma grimaced as she recalled the last time she'd been late returning and found the tomboy cooking . . . or at least trying to cook. While she'd improved and the meal wasn't toxic, it could be called tasty only if one were feeling very charitable, and was hardly up to Ranma's own standard.
That was another thing that had changed in the martial artists life. Ranma enjoyed cooking, and after having done so for the last few years was now quite good at it. Not quite up to the standards of a Tendo Kasumi, but drawing closer to that nearly unreachable standard every day. The frown resurrected itself again, she missed the eldest Tendo, letters and e-mail correspondence just weren't the same as seeing Kasumi's smiling face every day, but now that she no longer lived in Nerima she seldom saw the one she considered and loved as her older sister.
Ranma spared one last look at the sheet-shrouded form still asleep before walking lightly to the door. Treading lightly she moved down the hall to her daughter's room. Quietly opening the door she peeked in. As expected her baby was still asleep . . . and looking as cute as a puppy sprawled out on her bed, snoring lightly. Her daughter's dark hair framed delicate features so pretty and so fragile appearing, they belied the strength of her daughter's soul and the burdens she was so unfairly carrying.
Jotting a short note letting the others know that she'd be back shortly Ranma left the house for the nearby park. A short walk later she was there. Though still dark Ranma wasn't worried about being bothered. Several months ago a couple of thugs had decided to have a little fun with Ranma-chan, but a short ambulance ride and stint in the hospital later they decided not to mess with the frail looking girl practicing in the park . . . and they made sure that their buddies knew better too.
Ranma closed her eyes and began the first of several katas, losing herself in the Art. Though she appeared oblivious to her surroundings that was far from the case as her senses were fully engaged, even if virtually on auto- pilot. One movement blended into the other as she began working out. Simple katas first to loosen her muscles and warm them up before moving into the more advanced moves she so loved. Time ceased to have any meaning as she punched, kicked and literally danced around an unseen opponent. Quick and fluid she wasn't just practicing her art she was the Art.
Finally she finished, still breathing lightly considering what would be to most an insanely difficult workout, Ranma bowed slightly toward her shadow enemy then bounded away. Returning home, just the sound of that phrase brought joy to the martial artist. Home . . . home truly was where her heart was, and her home beckoned her now.
A quick shower and change of clothes later and Ranma returned to the kitchen, putting the rice on to cook and laying out three bento boxes to be filled. Ranma sensed the movement before she heard anyone, her ki so attuned to the wa of the house that actually hearing her family wasn't necessary to know that they were indeed awake and getting ready to face another day.
Ranma did hear the light steps her daughter approached the kitchen, then the soft almost shy voice of her daughter greeting her this morning.
"Good morning Michiru-mama. Is papa up yet."
Ranma smiled lovingly at her daughter, she was so cute in her pajamas still rubbing the sleep from tired violet eyes. "No Hotaru-chan. She's not up yet . . . why don't you go wake her up, and see if Setsuna-mama is awake too."
Ranma, or as he now thought of herself Michiru frowned prettily as she considered the third member of their "family." Setsuna, or Sailor Pluto sometimes still scared her. While Pluto had never actually said she knew about her life as Ranma, the hints were still there from time to time, and one of her greatest fears was Haruka finding out she had once been a man . . . as much as she knew Haruka loved her Michiru still feared that event as she feared no other. Daemons, no problem, youma, no problem, saving the world . . . sometimes a problem but the act itself nothing to fear, fear of failure yes, fear of death no . . . but Haruka leaving, that she feared more than death itself.
2. Ch 2 Meeting Old Friends
See Chapter 1 for disclaimer
A/N – Ranma and Michiru will be used somewhat interchangeably when describing Ranma's actions though I will tend to use Ranma more often. When she is thinking about herself Ranma or Ranma-chan will be used. Obviously others will use the name they are familiar with when talking to her.
Forever the Tomboy – Ch –2 ---Meeting Old Friends
Breakfast was often a quiet affair for this household. Haruka and Setsuna could only be described as being cheerful morning people by a person addicted to sarcasm. Indeed until they had their second (and sometimes third) cup of coffee Ranma wasn't sure she'd even call them human. This morning, as was the norm, the only sounds were those of eating with an occasional swish of the morning paper's pages being turned. Conversation was virtually non-existent beyond the usual morning greetings until the morning meal was over.
"Michiru-mama, will you walk me to school today?" Hotaru asked softly, Though the youngster tried to sound casual, something in her voice told Ranma that her daughter was either stressed out, nervous or both.
Of course the way that Hotaru was pushing the food around her plate instead of eating it was a not so subtle clue as well. Instincts well honed by trials of "motherhood" were sending little signals to Ranma's brain. Hotaru was clearly upset or unsure about something. Ranma hid a sigh, once again glad that as Michiru she had finally developed, "the mask." That was what she called the serene expression she normally wore. One that kept her fears and doubts hid from the world at large. The "open book" her face had been when Ranma was gone, and now she showed none of the worry or concern that Hotaru's tone brought to her. Instead Ranma had a serene almost elegant calm expression that hid well her thoughts.
"Of course, Hotaru-chan." Ranma answered, with a look of concern flashing quickly in her eyes if not across her face. "I would love to walk with you."
"I can drive." Haruka offered bluntly, the blond tomboy clearly missing the signals that Hotaru was sending out. "That way you won't be tired when you get there."
Laughing to herself though her expression didn't give away her inner feelings. Baka tomboy, she thought to herself, though even she could hear the affection her inner voice felt as she used the loving insult. However, even as she laughed to herself about Haruka's obtuseness, Ranma noticed the look that flitted across her daughters face. Whatever was bothering the youngest senshi was something that Hotaru wasn't ready to talk about in front of her papa, or Setsuna.
As if conjured by the mere thinking of her name Setsuna lowered the newspaper shielding her from the rest of the family. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes Setsuna-mama." Hotaru answered desperately striving to look nonchalant and to the eyes of Setsuna and Ranma failing miserably, though Haruka seemed to be fooled . . . at least for the moment.
"Are you sure?" Setsuna questioned. Though she spoke to Hotaru, the green- haired senshi's eyes were focused on the senshi of Neptune. A fact that Ranma was only to aware of.
"If you need to talk about something we're all willing to listen." With a barely perceptible pause, Pluto's eyes narrowed. "After all there is a time for secrets and a time for secrets to be shared."
A barely controlled snort of laughter interrupted as Haruka wagged her finger at Pluto. "A 'time' to spill secrets Setsuna. Is it time for you to share some of yours, or is this a case of the pot calling the kettle black?"
"You know I say what I can when the time is right." Setsuna answered, almost reflexively defensive in he response.
The oldest of the senshi leaned back in her chair, talking a long drink of coffee before she continued. "However, secrets held to long can spoil more than just the secret."
"Cryptic as ever Setsuna." Ranma broke in calmly. "But I still need to answer Hotaru and Haruka.."
"I don't think a ride will be necessary, the walk will do us both good." Ranma answered turning back to her daughter as she spoke. Sure enough she could see the relief in her daughters lustrous purple eyes.
"But you are going to be gone all weekend and I thought we could . . . " Haruka spluttered.
"I'll meet you at school," Ranma smiled softly, "and I'm not leaving until the morning, so you can take me out to dinner tonight."
"Dinner." The blond tomboy spluttered still more as she felt control of the conversation slipping even further from her grasp.
"Of course, dinner some dancing and then, perhaps we can find something else to do to entertain ourselves. Chibi-Usa is spending the night and you know that after they've worn themselves out they'll sleep like the dead so we won't bother them, and Setsuna said she wouldn't be back until late." This time the smile on Ranma's face was more than bit wider, and a lot less innocent than her earlier expression.
"Mama!" this time is was Hotaru sputtering in embarrassment
Haruka only sighed. It seemed she never won these of arguments. She might be able to sway her lover when Michiru didn't already have a firm position to defend. However, when her aquamarine haired lover dug her heels in with that certain stubborn look in her deep blue eyes she was sunk. Michiru always seemed to have the knack of derailing her arguments.
"Speaking of secrets, you never have said what your plans are or where you are going this weekend." Haruka tried desperately to change the topic, perhaps a distraction would work.
Ranma smiled quietly, "No-where important. Just to visit some old friends."
"Not old girlfriends I hope." Haruka teased, "Or if they are then you need to invite me."
"No, At least not this time, although." Michiru answered wickedly. "This time I'm just going to see a couple of my old sensei. I don't think you'd like them that well." Ranma knew this was the understatement of the century, though not for the reason that Haruka thought. Her "sensei's would be lucky to survive Haruka if they acted normally around her.
"Oh, Well okay, I'll see you at school." Haruka nodded her agreement as she rose, breakfast finished. While she loved hearing Michiru play her violin, the tomboy had no desire to sit around and listen to Michiru talk music with her old sensei for hours.
Ranma smiled, enjoying the view as Haruka bent to pick up her school bag. Even in the boys uniform Haruka insisted on wearing in her eyes Haruka was beautiful. The smile widened as she considered Haruka's words. What she had told Haruka was the truth completely, unalterably 100% true. However, it was also 100% misleading.
"Oh, and Haruka,"
"Yes Michiru."
"I've got your tuxedo back from the cleaners. We're going to Chizuma's tonight."
Haruka gulped, paling noticeably, "Chizuma's, we'll never get in on such short notice."
Ranma's laugher was like chiming bells, "I've had the reservations for weeks. I knew you'd pout if we didn't do something special before I left this weekend." She continued teasingly
Ranma's laughter continued as her love glared at her for a few moments before finally giving up and grinning back.
Ranma's smile broadened as once again she considered the changes she had wrought in her new life. Things had worked out even better than she'd imagined when she took the first steps down this road so many years ago. She had learned so much, and her grasp on life was much tighter than it had ever been before, though even this new life had not been without major trials of its own, he r life as Sailor Neptune being just one example.
"Mama," Hotaru interrupted, a bit of wonder and awe tingeing her words, "How do you get Haruka-papa to go along with you so much."
"I'm the best, . . . " Ranma answered with mischief dancing in her eyes, ". . . at a lot of things."
Hotaru sighed, "I wish . . "she trailed off.
Her face growing serious, Ranma pulled her daughter into a hug. "What is it honey."
"Momma." Hotaru protested softly.
"I know, you aren't a child anymore, but you'll always be my little girl to me."
Letting go Ranma, with Hotaru's help quickly cleared the table and only moments later they were walking to school.
Looking down at her daughter Ranma waited. She knew that Hotaru had something on her mind, but she also knew that the child had to be ready to speak, and that whatever concerned Hotaru was weighing on her mind. She remembered only to well what it was like to have others try forcing your life into their pattern.
The walked in silence for two, nearly three blocks before Hotaru spoke. Though it was a beautiful spring day, neither really noticed as their minds were occupied on other things.
"Michiru-mama."
"Yes Hotaru."
"Do you, do you think anyone will ever love me."
Though the words were spoken softly, Ranma could hear the pain in her daughter's voice.
"You know that Haruka and I love you, so do Setsuna, Chibi-Usa, Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako, Usagi, Mamoru . . . we all love you."
"You guys have to . . ." Hotaru voice shook as she began.
"No, no we don't have to." Ranma interrupted. "When Haruka and I first..." Ranma paused looking for the right word, ". . . started we barely got along with any of the others yet things got done. Maybe not as well as they do now, but they still got done. We love you because you are who you ARE, not because of what you can do."
"That's just it. The kids at school hate me. Everyone say's I'm a freak . . . a monster just because I can heal people. They're either afraid of me, ignore me or pick on me." The last part came out as a near wail, anguish pouring from Hotaru. "And they're right, I am some kind of freak of nature."
"Stop that right now." Ranma's voice was almost cold as it cut through the self-pity.
"But, but I am." The wail continued. "'Normal' people can't do things like that."
Dropping her voice Hotaru continued after looking around to make sure that no-one else was close by, ."I can't even blame Senshi magic for this. I can heal whether I'm Saturn or not."
Ranma stopped, pulling the younger Senshi to her in a fierce hug. "Do NOT call yourself a freak. You have a gift that should be cherished, and certainly don't worry about being normal . . . I don't ."
"But . . . "
"Listen to me." Ranma broke through the beginnings of another wail," Hugging Hotaru close for a moment then gently pushing her to arms length, but NOT letting go she marched the younger girl over to a store-front to be out of the main flow of traffic.
"What do you see?" Ranma pointed to Hotaru's reflection.
"M me." Hotaru replied softly.
"Let me tell you what I see. I see a young woman, a beautiful young woman." Stroking Hotaru's hair, Ranma continued softly. "Look closely. You ARE beautiful, and you will be even more so in a couple of years. Everything about you is pretty. You've got beautiful hair, and your eyes . . . "
"They're weird to." Hotaru protested. "They're purple."
"Yes they are, and a wonderful color too. You know when you smile they nearly glow. So what if they aren't normal. Pausing a moment to consider her words, she smiled softly. Before her new life Ranma knew that she'd be worse than helpless in this situation. Heck she'd probably have made it worse with her old foot-in-mouth problem. "Now look at me."
Once again Ranma gestured to the window. "Now look at me and tell me what you see."
Sighing, Hotaru ignored the people walking near them and considered her mama's reflection.
"I see you mama," she responded uncertainly.
"And when you see me, what do you see?" Ranma questioned softly. "Just how normal do I look?"
Tugging at a lock of her own aquamarine hair Ranma twirled it around her finger as she waited for an answer.
"Well . . . " Hotaru hesitated. "You are really pretty momma." She hedged, blushing softly.
"Thank you Hotaru, but you still haven't answered my question." Ranma prodded gently.
"Well, your hair is kind of unusual . . . but that's different."
"Why?"
"Well, you dye your hair momma. You picked the color yourself."
Laughing softly Ranma replied. "Maybe so, but is it normal."
"Well, no." Hotaru admitted. "But you could change it if you wanted to."
"Yes I could. But do you know what my color my hair really is."
"No mama I don't."
"Red, it's red, bright coppery red. Now is that "normal" either? Are there any other girls in your school with natural red hair?"
"No mama, but that's still different, red is a normal color for hair. Healing people isn't and I didn't choose to be able to heal people. That's just something I can do."
"Maybe so." Ranma admitted. "What about my eyes, just how normal are blue eyes for a Japanese girl."
"Not very." Hotaru, "But that's still different. Unusual maybe but still that's not the same. People aren't afraid of you because of them." Blushing brighter, she added softly. "Haruka-papa says they're exotic."
"Yes dear, and so are your purple eyes. I love the color of your eyes, and one of these days so will someone else."
"Maybe," Hotaru conceded grudgingly, "But that doesn't change my healing ability." Once again the young girl sniffled softly, "And no-one wants to get to know me. I'm just a freak to them."
Ranma tightened her grip, gently but ever so firmly holding her daughter.
"Hotaru dear. You are not a freak." Thinking hard Ranma knew that she needed something more to convince her daughter of the truth of her words and to show just how idiotic Hotaru's schoolmates were.
"When you heal someone how does that make you feel?"
"Well, it makes me feel good. But that's when I'm Saturn. Everyone knows that the senshi have powers and no-one cares about my ability to heal. They just think it's magic or something."
"Maybe so. But you can still help people and you do. That hardly makes you someone to fear."
"But they DO!" This time the anguish was back. "They do and they hate me."
"Oh Hotaru." Once again Ranma drew the younger girl into a hug. "I see it's you need to be convinced that being different isn't necessarily a bad thing. Though it often feels like it."
Pulling her sailor communicator, Ranma contacted her lover and spoke softly after hearing Haruka's acknowledgment."
"Love, I'm not going to make it to school today. Hotaru and I need to do something else today."
"No, everything is alright." Ranma responded. "I'm going to take her to meet some friends of mine . . . no you don't know them either . . . yes we will be okay, I just think she needs a day off." With an impish grin Ranma answered the blonde's next inquiry. "No, this doesn't get you out of dinner tonight. We should be back around the time you get home."
"Mama." Hotaru questioned. "Who are we going to see."
"Some old friends of mine." Ranma evaded the question with a smile. "I think you'll like them."
With no further explanation Ranma turned and headed away from the school and toward their home. She did remember to take the time to call the schools, hers and Hotaru's to let them know that they wouldn't be attending today."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A short while later, after a quick walk home, a change of clothes, and a few more phone calls to check on her old friends, the mother and daughter pair were on their way. It wouldn't be long before she would again see some of her "old friends". Friends she hadn't been able to see in two years.
She just hoped that the other "old friends" were in school like they were supposed to be, otherwise this trip might be more informative for Hotaru than Ranma wanted it to be. She was still uncertain that this was the best plan, but Ranma knew that the old hands in Nerima wouldn't bat an eye at Hotaru's abilities, and she knew just who see first. Not only would they not be afraid they would undoubtedly encourage Hotaru to continue using these gifts. A closer look at some of the less "normal" people might show Hotaru that she wasn't alone in being a little out of the ordinary.
It was nice that the ones that could probably help the most were also the ones she most wanted to see as well. Ranma had planned on visiting them this weekend as they were part of her planned activities, the ones she wouldn't tell Setsuna or Haruka about. Plans that would finally allow her to take some of her life as Ranma back and allow her to openly practice the Art that had been her life for so long. While the Art was no longer everything, it was still a BIG thing and one that she really didn't want to have to hide anymore. She had continued to train and with the extra years now under her belt she was even better than when she faced Saffron. Training trips were harder to hide, and her identity as a top ranked competitor grew ever harder to conceal as word of a young woman with extraordinary skills was around, and one with no known school affiliation.
Her art was still a big, (though mostly concealed) part of her life and one that would be very valuable to her scout activities. A frown marred her features momentarily as several thoughts cascaded through her mind. That had been an unexpected condition Happosai had required before his help was given. She had to swear not to publicly use Anything Goes until she had beaten the old letch. Of course the up side was that she had trained even harder with other sensei's and learning their styles then incorporating them into her version of Anything Goes. A couple of them could undoubtedly wipe the floor with Happosai, that old priest Masaki being one of them. He had taught her both armed and unarmed forms, and quite frankly had literally beaten the idea that a weapon user was automatically weak out of her. If not properly trained in both armed and unarmed styles this was true, but against a master, such as the keeper of the Masaki Shrine, it most definitely was not true. It was only last year that she had satisfied Sensei Masaki enough to "graduate" so to speak.
The match with Happosai was set for this weekend and she was so looking forward to it. Ranma just hoped the old geezer had kept his part of the bargain and kept Nabiki in the dark. If she knew then this weekend was going to be much more interesting that she hoped. While her relations with Nabiki had improved drastically the last few months before her disappearance, she didn't know how much the "Ice Queen" knew. She had told Kasumi to use her own best judgment there.
"Nerima?!!" Hotaru exclaimed, "Why are we going there? Who do you know there.?" With a more diffident tone she Hotaru continued. "Is Nerima as wild as they say it is?"
"Yes it is." Ranma answered with a smile as the train glided along the tracks. "Don't worry dear everything will be fine," with a grimmer tone she finished. "I'll make sure of that."
The ride from Juban to Nerima wasn't all that long and soon Hotaru found herself in fabled Nerima. The reputed home of martial arts masters capable of astounding feats. That is if Makoto could be believed. Jupiter considered herself a martial arts buff, as did Haruka, and while both were extremely doubtful that the "masters" found in Nerima could do the things that were reported, they didn't rule it out. After all there were the Sailor Senshi, and once you believed in magical girls fighting for truth and love how could you dismiss the possibility that other strangeness existed. Both did however figure that the tales were exaggerated. After all how could normal humans without magical abilities at all do the things that urban legend suggested. Ki blasts belonged in movies not real life, at least not for "normal" people.
Hotaru's eyes grew to the size of saucers as she followed her mama. Michiru seemed to know exactly where she was going as she moved purposefully toward some yet as unnamed goal.
Everywhere the girl looked she saw signs of damage and repair. It reminded her of Juban and the areas after a fight with the Negaverse. While most places were neat and tidy, signs of fights were plentiful. Patches adorned the road and buildings, well done, but still obviously not part of the original construction.
"Yes Hotaru, most of those repairs are to fix damages caused by martial arts duels." Ranma answered the unasked question.
Hotaru noticed that the further along they went the more damage and/or damage repairs they saw. It was almost as if they were walking toward the epicenter of a blast.
Finally, Ranma stopped at a small gate set in a wooden wall. The sign identifying the place was weathered and obviously not new, but it still served it's purpose and told all and sundry that this dojo was the home of the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts.
A feeling of nostalgia swept through Ranma as he entered the gate. This place with all its memories, both good and bad, had been his home for over a year, before her chosen transformation. It had been his first real home after the ten year "training trip" that Genma had taken him on. Ranma no longer thought of Mr. Saotome as his father , now if she were feeling charitable it was Genma, most of the time she had other words to describe her biological father, words that she tried not to use in front of Hotaru. In her mind and heart, where it really counted, it had been years since she even thought of considering the panda as her father.
Subtly extending her ki, Ranma confirmed that no-one had come home in the short time between her initial call to Kasumi and now, though she was puzzled as she didn't sense Kasumi's presence in the home either.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Hotaru watched her mama with some puzzlement. Michiru looked like she knew this place well, but to the best of her knowledge she had never been to Nerima before. Yet Michiru had come straight here, not even pausing to check the street signs or ask for directions.
The young girl watched as Michiru took a deep breath, then knocked on the door of the home they were about to enter. Hotaru knew that something was going on, and whatever it was had her mama feeling nervous, and wasn't normal. Her mama was one of the most collected people she knew. Indeed Kaiou Michiru was the very personification of the entry line she used as a senshi . . . elegant. Whomever lived here seemed to break though the reserve that her mama normally showed the world, and that did make her nervous.
For the first few moments after Michiru knocked neither heard anything except the normal sounds of the district. Traffic, voices from strollers outside the walk, birds, nothing but the usual. Then Hotaru heard the gate open and close and light quick footsteps approaching from behind them. Turning she saw a girl about the same age as her mama wearing blue dress. Long brown hair was pulled into a ponytail, all in all a very fetching sight if one were so inclined. However, what drew the eye more than the girl's good looks was her smile, so warm and kind, a smile that not only reached the eyes, but one that made her soft gray eyes glow with warmth. She held a small bag of groceries in her arms, explaining without words why the woman wasn't home when the arrived even though her mama had called before thy came.
The woman stopped short, a look of wonder crossing her face making an already cute face even more beautiful than before. Hotaru was nearly stunned by the girl's reaction to their presence, the groceries were hastily put down as the brunette barely stopped long enough to set the shopping bag down, then rushed them flinging herself into her mama's arms with a cry of joy.
Eyes bulging, Hotaru watched as her mama was fiercely hugged by someone who was not Haruka-papa Not only that but her mama was hugging back just as heartily, tears making glistening tracks down Michiru's normally calm face.
"I've missed you so much the last few months." Hotaru heard the brunette say.
The sob of relief clearly evident in her soft voice. "Even though you told me Ran . . . ."
The brunette's words were interrupted, and Hotaru's eyes would've grown even wider had they the ability to do so as she watched her mama give the woman a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Now Kasumi, you knew that I had to leave."
Her mother's voice was soft and warm as she spoke to this stranger. Yet what troubled Hotaru was that it was just as caring as when mama spoke to her . . . ... or to Haruka-papa . . . and it was a voice she seldom used for anyone else. Just who was this Kasumi . . . and why were they here.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tendo Kasumi hurried home from the grocery with a smile gracing her lips. Not the smile that was her usual expression, a smile so vacuous that it simply served as a mask to cover her inner feelings. No this smile was as real as it was wide going from ear to ear. Ranma was coming to visit. Oh how she had missed her these last three months.
Ranma, no MICHIRU's call had been quite unexpected. The call itself was a shock, as they'd been so careful to limit themselves to mail and e-mail for so long. Then to top it off she was bringing her adopted daughter along. That was a surprise. Ran . . . Michiru had told her in her last e-mail that she was coming tomorrow. The plan was for her to show up on Sunday do what she came to do, and then if all went well perhaps she and Kasumi would have some time to spend together. She had so missed her friend, or was that friends.
The smile grew as Kasumi considered the weirdness that consumed Ranma's life. What Ranma . . . . No that was Michiru . . . . What Michiru considered as normal and tolerable chaos would drive most people to the brink of insanity and probably beyond.
Kasumi had begun preparing some tea and cookies only to discover that her sister, "The Kitchen Destroyer" had apparently used all the cinnamon and nutmeg during her last attempt at cooking. What was strange about that was that Akane had been trying to stir fry meat. Kasumi's smile darkened a bit as she considered her youngest sister. Though Kasumi would never use the nickname Shampoo had given Akane out loud, even she had to admit how appropriate the name actually was.
That said, Kasumi had immediately left to buy some cookies to go with the tea. She planned to serve. Unfortunately there had been several people in front of her at the store and she was running late, and she wanted to see Ranma oh so much.
Ranma had been a dear friend to her for so many years. Kasumi still remembered the first time she had met Kaiou Michiru. Michiru had been at the park and simply walked up and introduced herself. They had immediately become friends. Kasumi remembered how it had almost seemed at times as if Michiru had known her for years. Just two years ago she had found out just how right that feeling had been. Shortly before Ranma and the panda arrived Michiru had met with her one last time. During that conversation Kasumi had been told some things she wasn't willing to accept. It had hurt her and hurt her badly to hear Michiru's crazy talk of fiancés, super- powered martial artists, old perverts and amazons. Kasumi had been so sure that her friend had either lost her marbles or was playing some awful trick on her, and that hurt. They had been friends for so long that either possibility hurt.
The truth became evident a couple of weeks later when just as Michiru predicted a panda and a redheaded girl showed up at their home. The truth, as unbelievable as the truth had been, meant that she had been right all along. The reason it had felt like she and Michiru had been friends for years when they first met . . . was because they had been. True Ranma had been uncouth and crude . . . socially inept was a nice way to put it, Baka and jerk were other words used. However, even from the beginning Kasumi had seen flashes of the "true" Ranma, the one that placed honor above all else, who would rather be hurt himself that risk his friends
That had been their last meeting until today. Ranma had said it was too risky for them to meet anywhere in Nerima. With the chaos in his/her life they would've been found out eventually. If nothing else Happosai and Elder Cologne could sense her presence if she were forced to use her ki for some reason. Ranma didn't want that until she was ready to deal with her problems in her own way.
Kasumi's smile flickered, as a frown momentarily washed across her face. It had been so hard to keep quiet as she watched the others take advantage of her friend, to abuse her trust . . . and his/her body as well. If it hadn't been Michiru's insistence that things had to play out as they once had Kasumi knew she would have put a stop to the shenanigans of her younger siblings
The hardest had been watching Akane, the sister she loved so, much treat Ranma so hatefully. Kasumi knew that Akane didn't have it easy at school. The way that Kuno and the other boys treated her was shameful, but Akane's reaction was extreme. Instead of disliking those pestering her, Akane's anger had transformed into a general dislike of boys in general. Her sister wasn't a lesbian, she like men well enough but that brought it's own brand of trouble. Akane was not interested in any boy near her own age and the ones she might be interested in were to old for her . . . at least for right now. In a few years a gap of five or even ten years would be negligible, but with Akane still seventeen (though she would be eighteen in a couple more months) that wasn't the case now. Despite all that happened, despite Ranma's disappearance, Akane still blamed her problems on him.
Nabiki had been just as bad in her own way, at least until after the failed wedding attempt. After that Nabiki had done her best to make amends with Ranma and to a surprising degree had succeeded. The middle sister had cancelled all of Ranma's "debts" and had begun asking his/her permission to take pictures and the blackmailing had stopped. If she hadn't already known that was going to happen it would have been a shock. .
The saddest part was that she had seen the change in Nabiki and flashes of regret that she had tossed aside Ranma. The more the mercenary Tendo had seen of Ranma the more she grew to respect him and the harder it became to exploit him. Though to be truthful that hadn't sunk in for the middle daughter of Soun until after the Saffron incident and the failed wedding, and by then it was to late to be more than friends with Ranma . . . at least without more time that she had available to her. Ranma was truly fond of Nabiki, but in an older sister type of way, and while Kasumi didn't doubt Nabiki's power of persuasion, nor her ability to get what she wanted there simply hadn't been enough time for her to move beyond the "sisterly" image Ranma had of her. Things came to a head so quickly . . . .
A giggle escaped as she recalled time after time when the others were panicking and she had remained calm. She knew the others sometimes considered her to be oblivious to everything around her, with a calm that was nearly supernatural. The fact of the matter was even more amazing. She had been able to stay calm because her friend Michiru had let her know when something big was coming up as well as the outcome. She had known ahead of time about the skating match, about the Amazons, about Ryouga, and all the other incidents that so worried everyone else. She knew they were coming and knew that everything would come out all right . . . . The smile faltered again as Kasumi considered her thoughts. No, that wasn't exactly right. NEARLY everything came out alright, but to her, no matter that Michiru seemed happy, it was not right how Ranma was treated and how it drove him to seek a solution to his problem that would deal with all the issues of honor that he knew of, and that would allow the others to pick up their lives and continue on.
Kasumi looked up in surprise at the gate to their yard. She had been so lost in thought that the trip back had seemed to take only moments. Opening the gate Kasumi saw a pair of young women standing before the door. The taller one reaching up to knock before they both turned toward her.
The oldest Tendo daughter wasn't sure if she dropped the groceries or set them down, and to tell the truth she didn't care either way. Forgetting her usual decorum she flung herself at Ranma glomping him as professionally as Shampoo had ever done. Tears flowed as she squeezed her friend for all she was worth.
She found herself crying even as she spoke. "I've missed you so much the last few months. Even though you told me Ran . . . ."
Ranma/Michiru interrupted her with a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Now Kasumi, you knew that I had to leave." Came the soft gentle she had so longed to hear, the voice of a friend who had always been there to listen and to talk to, the voice of her best friend.
Finally, and with more than a little regret, Kasumi released the glomp and held Michiru out at arms length as if to inspect her.
Michiru had grown some and filled out more than a little, but she was still short, much shorter than Kasumi herself. She was dressed in a green silk blouse, dark blue pants and flat healed boots that she could run or fight in, though they were of high quality and looks. Her hair was the same aquamarine color that, though unusual, looked so good on her and brought out the depths of her sapphire eyes. Kasumi detected the hint of make-up skillfully applied and the outline of a lacy bra under the thin shirt. Yes this was definitely Michiru and NOT Ranma.
Her daughter was comfortably attired in a lavender shirt with a darker purple skirt. Her clothes too accented her eyes, though those orbs were an unusual purple color. Dark hair framed a delicate face that right now was dark and sad. A face that was beautiful, but which didn't shine with the joy that a pretty girl her age should have.
"Kasumi, this is my daughter Tomoe Hotaru, Hotaru this is my friend Tendo Kasumi."
"Pleased to meet you Hotaru." Kasumi replied. "I've seen pictures of course, but they failed to do you justice. "
Kasumi had to stifle a giggle, it appeared the warmth of her greeting to Michiru had somewhat stunned the younger girl. Not surprising she guessed. Kasumi knew that Ranma/Michiru still liked girls and supposed that Hotaru could have gotten the wrong impression from their greeting.
Belatedly returning formal Kasumi bowed to her guests. "Please come inside, we can have some tea and talk. I understand you want me to help you with a problem."
3. Ch 3 A Walk in Nerima
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
Forever the Tomboy – Ch. 3 --- A Walk In Nerima
Tendo Kasumi was in a bit of a quandary. Her long time friend Kaiou Michiru was back, visiting for the first time in nearly two years. But, her friend Michiru was also Saotome Ranma. Kasumi could feel the wry smile twisting her lips as she considered this fact, only Ranma could be a part of something so surreal.
Ranma was as wild as his name indicated, rough in manner, unbroken in spirit, it was nearly impossible to believe that he and the calm, serene Michiru were one and the same.
Ranma had been staying at the Tendo Dojo for almost two years, the unwilling fiancée of her youngest sister, until Akane had finally driven him away, causing his recent disappearance. Ranma was . . . well Ranma, and wherever the "wild horse" went chaos followed.
The last two years had been quite a ride, no-one was untouched by the craziness that clung to him more closely than even his trademark silks, a fact that was true beyond any doubt. Even knowing (as she did), that her childhood friend Michiru was Ranma had not prepared her for everything that had transpired. Of course, Kasumi thought with an unaccustomed giggle, she wasn't sure that anything could have prepared her for the events that had taken place since Ranma arrived.
She could remember as if it were yesterday the arrival of a rain-soaked panda and a petite redheaded girl whose mere presence breathed life into the Tendo Dojo for the first time since her mother's death.
Kasumi took a deep breath as she put the finishing touches on the tea service she was preparing. The water was hot and the tea her favorite blend, however her mind was not really on the work of her hands, instead it was focused on the two guests who were patiently waiting for her return.
Kasumi knew that even now she wasn't privy as to exactly what had transpired to drive Ranma from the Tendo dojo. She knew even less about how he had managed to create his new life, though she had her suspicions. Right now she figured that the only one who really how she had done it was Ranma/Michiru herself, and so far she wasn't telling.
All that Kasumi knew was that it had to involve time-travel and that probably meant the Nanban mirror. Her curiosity was definitely getting the better of her as she thought on the situation. The eldest Tendo sister reaaaallly hoped that Michiru was going to finally divulge at least some of the secrets that she held so close to he r chest.
Nodding to herself Kasumi recalled the first time that Michiru had told her that Ranma was coming, how she had reacted with scorn, politely veiled but there none-the-less, and how Michiru had only smiled that cool, calm smile of hers and told her to wait and believe. Michiru then advised Kasumi that she would call her the following week to see if her predictions had come true.
To Kasumi's utter shock things had indeed progressed just as her friend had foretold. The arrival of the panda, the initial confrontation between the "wild horse" and her sister Akane. Even the thoughtless comment which precipitated the breaking of the dining room table over Ranma's head had been predicted in excruciating detail by Michiru.
Kasumi had breathlessly awaited the first "post-Ranma arrival" phone call and meeting Michiru scheduled with her. For once even her vaunted calm had been sorely tried. She had without hesitation gone to visit Michiru at her home in Juban. There they had a loooonnnng and quite interesting talk. Even the accuracy of Michiru's account of Ranma's arrival didn't blunt the eldest Tendo's amazement as Michiru outlined the course of the next two years and the events that were about to transpire. Michiru had taken Kasumi's own reactions with quiet humor, that infuriating smile never leaving her oh so perfect face, and only the mischief dancing in Michiru's sapphire eyes betrayed her enjoyment of the situation.
Indeed things had gone pretty much as her long-time friend had predicted, including Ranma's disappearance just three weeks ago.
Smiling, this time with a real smile gracing her features, a smile such as she had not allowed herself to give into in years, Kasumi picked up the tray and returned to the dining room to sit with her guests.
Her guests looked so cute together as they knelt by the table Kasumi noted once again as she entered the familiar confines of the dining area. Michiru was in an adorable yet practical silk shirt, the blue shade drawing out and emphasizing the aqua hair and sapphire eyes. Kasumi also noted Ranma's well-manicured hands, her smile blossomed even more when she took in the polished nails also tinted to compliment her friends hair and eyes. Michiru's expertly applied make-up enhanced the girl's astounding beauty without drawing notice to the cosmetics themselves. It appeared that Ranma had a firm hand in training her daughter in the art of the "makeover" as Hotaru-chan's make-up style was similar, enhancing and accentuating without drawing undue attention to the make-up itself.
Kasumi's smile widened as she placed the tea set down. Whatever was on her friends mind must be serious to have changed her plans. Kasumi knew from her last conversation with Ranma that she intended to meet Happosai tomorrow, and while Kasumi had her suspicions as to what was going to transpire Michiru had not confirmed them as of yet. What she suspected was that Michiru was going to challenge Happosai for the right to use and to claim masters status in the Art of the Anything Goes style. However, that was business for tomorrow, right now her duty was to her guests and as the hostess she had obligations to fulfill.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Hotaru squirmed as she knelt by the low table. Things were, well strange, if that word was strong enough to describe the events so far, and from all appearances the strangeness was not yet over. The young senshi saw things spiraling out of control as events were occurring faster than she could process them.
Michiru was kneeling next to her seemingly as serene and elegant as always, but Hotaru knew her mama well and could sense Michiru's nervousness, even if she couldn't see it reflected in that ever so tranquil face of hers. It was times like these that made her realize why no one wanted to play poker with either her mother or Ami. No one could read Michiru, and Ami was just to good at calculating the odds. No, things were just . . . strange and to a senshi strange often meant trouble. Sometimes Hotaru felt that peace was an elusive creature that she was fated to glimpse but never to catch.
Before she was had even completed her musing thoughts, the brunette who had hugged her mama returned. Fighting a smile Hotaru decided that hugged wasn't a strong enough description for what had happened. Kasumi had "glomped" her mama, and it was expertly enough executed that if it had been seen both Minako and Mokoto would've demanded lessons as to the proper method of its employment.
That worried Hotaru more than she wanted to admit. She had lost her father to the Negaverse and her mother long before that. Haruka-papa, Michiru- mama and Setsuna-mama were her family, her lifelines. The thought, as unlikely as it was, that Michiru had another girlfriend upset Hotaru greatly. She hoped that they were just friends, but it was strange that mama had never mentioned Tendo Kasumi before, nor Nerima other than in passing, yet she seemed to know them both well, very well indeed to judge from the quick walk from the train station directly to the dojo.
The violet eyed senshi watched as Kasumi carefully placed the tea service on the table then gracefully took her position as hostess. Hotaru looked on with more than a touch of envy as Kasumi began the ceremony, executing the formalities with a grace that Hotaru could only hope to someday attain.
Once the formalities of the tea ceremony were finished the Senshi of Silence waited more than a little impatiently for her elders to begin. Torn between a desire to break the silence and fear of what was to come, she instead held onto that silence. Well fear of what was to come AND a fear of what Michiru-mama would have to say to her if she interrupted kept her quiet.
Instead she watched as Michiru sipped the tea for a moment then sighed contentedly.
"It's been to long since we did this Kasumi." Michiru began. "I've missed our quiet times together so much."
Kasumi nodded, then placed her own teacup carefully on the table. "Yes it has, it has been much to long," she paused before continuing, "I've missed you." Voice breaking the older woman looked away as she took a moment to compose herself.
"It won't be much longer and we can see each other again, in Juban at least if not here." Michiru consoled Kasumi, reaching out to take the other woman's hand. Hotaru heard the steel in Michiru's voice as she continued, "Though I think I have that covered as well."
Once again Hotaru felt like she was missing the most important parts of the conversation. However she knew one thing with certainty, she did NOT like the sound of this conversation or the way it appeared to be going. Haruka- papa was the one who had roving eyes with her rakish manner and made occasional sly comments about other women. Hotaru was sure though that Haruka-papa would never leave Michiru though as she loved her to much. However, she had never seen Michiru act this way before.
For a moment Hotaru wondered just what it was that Pluto knew, was this the secret that Setsuna had been talking about this morning. Did her mama have another lover, it didn't seem right, she knew how much Michiru loved Haruka- papa, she even had a date with her for later tonight, but if this wasn't the secret, just what was Setsuna talking about?
Hotaru desperately hoped that she was reading the conversation wrong. She could tell she was missing a major part of it. The older women seemed to be speaking on two (or maybe more) levels. One was the words actually spoken, the other was hidden within or perhaps behind what the words used, as much inferred as stated, but which also indicated a long relationship between her mama and Kasumi.
"But that is not why I am here today. There is something else you can help me with."
Michiru indicated the girl sitting beside her and looked over at her daughter with a small smile.
"Indeed." Kasumi replied, "You mentioned that you wanted to discuss something."
"Yes." Michiru took another appreciative sip. "Hotaru has been having a hard time at school." Her voice hardened as she continued. "She has a gift and her classmates treat her shamefully because of it."
Kasumi's interest was indicated wordlessly by the arching of a delicate eyebrow raised in query.
Hotaru's face reddened in embarrassment, was her mama going to just tell this stranger about her power? It seemed unbelievable, but by all appearances that was exactly what her mama intended.
"Mama," she began, traces of her inner struggle clearly evident in the girl's voice.
"Don't worry dear, Kasumi won't tease you."
"But mama..."
"I said don't worry." Though soft and comforting in both tone and content, a daughter could her the steel of a mothers voice underlying them.
"Now . . . Michiru. If she doesn't want to talk . . . " Kasumi began, only to be interrupted by her aqua tressed friend.
"Kasumi, we need to talk about this . . . I want you to give Hotaru your take on this, and perhaps she should hear from a few others as well." Michiru interjected softly, but with great insistence.
"Well, if you think it's important." Kasumi conceded reluctantly.
"I do. Now would bring me one of your paring knives please?"
Kasumi hesitated again, then consented with a nod. Rising to her feet she disappeared into the kitchen then returned with a small but ever so sharp knife which she handed to Michiru.
"Watch carefully." Michiru requested as she took the blade. "and don't worry."
Hotaru felt her stomach clench. She knew what was coming and despite the almost palpable aura of calm that surrounded Ms. Tendo she felt nervous. Dread filled her soul as she watched her mama carefully cut her own arm leaving a long gash to mar the soft white skin. Despite her suspicions as to her mother's actions, actually watching the action caused the violet eyed senshi to gasp softy as she watched her mama cut herself, slicing into her own flesh with the knife.
"Michiru . . . " Kasumi interjected, "What . . . . "
"Just watch." Michiru commanded. as she squeezed the cut making sure that it bled freely.
Turning to her daughter Michiru extended her arm.
Hotaru refused to meet either of the other women's eyes as she reached out to take her mama's arm. Concentrating she reached for her gift, the one that had caused her so much grief in the past, and called it forth as she touched her mother's arm. Even though she knew she could easily heal the shallow cut it still hurt her to see her mother hurt.
Closing her eyes Hotaru touched the long shallow wound. For a moment her small hands glowed, as did the skin surrounding Michiru's wound. Then the cut sealed itself leaving no mark of its passage other than the blood still trickling down her mama's arm.
Hotaru heard the involuntary gasp, though it was ever so quiet, from Kasumi. With her eyes firmly fixed on the table Hotaru missed the questioning look Kasumi shot her mother and the confirming nod that Michiru returned.
Hotaru waited for the words she knew were coming next, waited for the shocked accusations of impure blood, that she was some kind of freak or monster. Stiffening in place, but still refusing to look up Hotaru waited for the condemnation that she knew was coming.
The words she heard were indeed a shock, and were not the ones she expected to hear.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Kasumi felt her jaw drop as she watched the tableau before her. She had been expecting some story about how the kids picked on Hotaru because of her mother and "father" not a casual display of power.
"Oh my," She gasped involuntarily. Looking from the wound to the deep sapphire eyes of her friend she saw the concerned looks on Michiru/Ranma's face.
"Hotaru-chan . . . did you do that." Kasumi breathed softly wonder evident in her voice.
She was surprised when the girl refused to look up. But then as she considered what she had been told by Michiru she was not. Children were often so very cruel to each other. They picked out even the smallest of differences then used those differences to tease and torment each other. Sometimes the teasing was gentle and in fun . . . at other times though the teasing was unmerciful and viscous. The pitiful look on the child's face clearly told the gentle Kasumi which type of teasing the pretty girl in front of her had been subjected to.
The eldest Tendo felt her heart going out to the still quiet, and obviously hurting, child sitting so expectantly before her. She could see the worry and fear the girl was trying to hide by the squared set of her shoulders and the sad expression adorning her pixyish face. It was clear that this child expected the worst sort of reaction, and yet the gift was one of healing... a wonderful gift to have.
"Such a gift Hotaru-chan. Such a precious gift . . . oh I wish that I had such a gift." Kasumi's voice nearly sang with longing as she spoke.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Hotaru looked up at the softly spoken words. She expected to see fear, or perhaps only pity if she were lucky. Instead she saw wonder mixed with more than a little envy in the older woman's face.
Where was the fear? Hotaru wasn't sure what was going on.
Knowing that the darker emotions had to be there she looked closer, trying to see past the eyes and into the soul of the other woman. She looked for the disgust and fear she had seen so often in others and which she just knew had to be hidden under Kasumi's mask. But apparently Kasumi was reading from a different script, as she couldn't find any trace of these base emotions. What she saw was genuine compassion, a tender warmth that made her feel loved. It was the first time she had ever seen such an expression after she had healed someone as herself and not as the senshi Sailor Saturn..
"You . . . you don't think that was weird?" Hotaru disliked the desperation she heard in her own voice, the plea for acceptance. She didn't like to hear such weakness in her own voice, but it was there.
"No dear, you have a gift, a rare gift tis true, but one to be embraced and not rejected. I most certainly do not consider you to be weird, or freakish or any of the other names you may have been called by others. I want you to know that those who are to unsure of their own worth are the first to reject the talents and gifts of others."
Kasumi smiled at her as she spoke and Hotaru felt something deep inside release. It was as if a muscle that had long been knotted up in pain was beginning to relax, a constant ache that she had had for so long began to ease.
"I think that is a gift from the Kami." Kasumi continued, he voice nearly singing with excitement.
Hotaru watched as Kasumi toyed with her necklace, the small golden cross being caressed lovingly if unconsciously. "Kami-sama bestows His gifts where He will."
"It should be a blessing and the gift of healing is most definitely NOT a curse." Kasumi continued. "Besides I've seen people heal using ki before . . . now if you want weird I can tell you some stories you won't believe even though they are as true as the fact that you are sitting at my table."
This time, her eyes fixed on Kasumi's tender face, Hotaru saw the glace Kasumi shot her mother, and noticed the faint grin that accompanied said look. Michiru simply raised her teacup in a silent salute as if Kasumi had scored a point in their unseen game. This only raised the curiosity level even higher in the young Scout.
"Stories of something weirder than this?" Hotaru questioned, "That doesn't seem likely. I've never seen anyone else able to heal with a touch."
"Much stranger." Kasumi affirmed, "Now if you two will wait a moment I have something to show you."
Kasumi rose easily to her feet. "Everything she does is graceful." Hotaru thought wistfully to herself watching the brunette get up.
"Mama," Hotaru paused uncertain as how to continue. "What is going on?"
She watched as her aqua haired mother carefully placed the tea-cup on the table before answering."
"Hotaru-chan, What makes you thing something is going on?"
"Michiru-mama! Don't tease me. You've been acting strange all morning, and Setsuna-mama was talking about secrets this morning too and acting wise and all-knowing again."
"Hotaru." Michiru answered softly, "Some things are best left unsaid."
Before Hotaru could pursue the matter further Kasumi returned with a pair of books, which upon closer examination revealed themselves to be photo albums. Hotaru looked up with some confusion, and even more curiosity shining in her eyes.
She watched as Kasumi abandoned her prior place at the table and settled down next to her.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Kasumi smiled at the look on Hotaru's face. The girl was practically shaking with excitement as she looked at the books then up into her face. Kasumi's smile was warm and tender as she considered the (nearly) unbelievable stories she was about to share.
Kasumi hesitated momentarily; she was going to have to consider her words carefully as it was obvious that Hotaru knew nothing of Saotome Ranma or the events in Nerima.
Opening the first book Kasumi began. Pointing to a picture of the youngest Tendo, her smile became a bit dreamy as she recalled the circumstances surrounding the picture of Akane, her mallet and a flattened Ranma.
"This is my youngest sister Akane." She began. "Tell me what you see."
Hotaru looked at the picture closely, puzzlement evident on her pixy face.
"It's a glowing girl holding a . . . glowing hammer?" she questioned more than stated. "But why is the hammer glowing . . . and why is she glowing?"
Kasumi's smile faltered then fell completely as she recalled the abuse that Ranma had suffered from the very first day he'd arrived.
"Akane can . . . " Kasumi paused looking for the right words, ". . . summon I guess is the best was to describe it, a mallet from somewhere when she's really angry. That glow you see is her battle aura."
"Battle aura?" Hotaru's questioning gaze soured as she looked up at the woman next to her. "Is this some kind of joke? Were talking about real life not Dragon Ball Z or some other anime or manga story." Her voice flattened as she began to suspect this seemingly nice woman was making fun of her just like everyone always did.
"This is no joke. My sister is a martial artist," Kasumi shot Michiru quick glare when the aqua haired woman emitted a soft snort of disapproval at the description. "Akane is quite good in fact though there are others here in Nerima that make her look like an amateur, something that Akane really hates."
"She knows some martial arts." Michiru interjected coldly, "But until she learns discipline and how to control that anger she is NOT a martial artist."
Hotaru was stunned by the venom in her mother's cold tone. She hadn't heard Michiru use that tone in a long time. Not only that, but once again her mama was showing knowledge of people and events in Nerima that she had never revealed before. Just what else was her mama hiding behind her calm demeanor, what other skeletons were lurking in the closet of her past. Hotaru didn't know, and she was almost afraid to find out. It was as if there were two Kaiou Michiru's.
Still the youngest senshi persisted" This IS fake isn't it." Hotaru nearly insisted, "Normal people can't do things like that."
"No it's all real, hard to believe maybe, but very real." Kasumi answered gently, she could see the doubt in Hotaru's face and hear the plaintive accusation in the tone as well as the words spoken. "Just as real as your gift of healing."
"My sister is quite gifted," this time Kasumi turned to Michiru as her friend again displayed disagreement. "Michiru she is gifted, maybe not as much as you, but more than most martial artists double her age."
Hotaru watched the exchange closely, and saw the grudging agreement in her mother's eyes. But still she wondered at the brunette's words. Her mama, a very gifted martial artist? Hotaru knew that her mother held a first dan ranking in kempo, but everyone knew that both Makoto and Haruka were much more skilled than Michiru, and mama had never done anything to prove differently. Once again questions bubbled to the surface of her mind as she considered the problem before her. Her mama wasn't denying the statement; indeed she appeared to agree with it. But if Michiru did have the talent and skill that the eldest Tendo was giving to her, why didn't she use it as Sailor Neptune. There were times when that skill would have been very useful. Just what the hell was going on?
Hotaru flinched reflexively at her use of curse words even though it wasn't spoken aloud. She had on one or two occasions felt her mother's wrath for such language, though Michiru tolerated Haruka's language when papa was racing, or hanging out with her pit crew, otherwise mama didn't allow such language.
"All right." Michiru conceded, "She does have some talent, but until she controls her temper she isn't going to get much better, though anger does seem to be the focus for her ki use to summon mallet-sama."
"Can she really do that?" Hotaru asked. She hated to interrupt the conversation as she learning things (if the conversation was in fact true) about her mother that she never expected, but her questions still needed answers.
"Yes she can." Her mother finally answered. "It appears in her hand and appears to be a solid construct made of ki."
"So you've seen it?" Hotaru questioned.
Michiru appeared to be taken aback at the question as a brief look of concern flashed across her face. Only one who knew her as well as her daughter would have seen the emotion, but Hotaru knew guilt when she saw it.
The Senshi of Saturn waited impatiently for her mother's response and watched as her mother's face stilled, the bright sapphire eyes clouding as they hid the thoughts of one Kaiou Michiru. Hotaru had seen this before, it was the same thing that happened every time her mother became Sailor Neptune, gone (or maybe just hidden more deeply) was her loving mama, left behind was a warrior.
"Yes," Michiru sighed. "I've been around when Akane has gone into her 'beat the pervert' mode."
Hotaru peered into her mother's eyes. She was somewhat reassured as she sensed her mama was telling the truth, but once again she wondered if she was telling ALL of the truth, and had Akane considered her mama one of the perverts to punish?
"You see that boy, the one who's just been pounded?" Michiru questioned. Seeing her daughter nod she continued. "That's Saotome Ranma. He is one of the best martial artists around, maybe one of the best in the world, Akane is one of his fiancées."
Hotaru blinked, considered what she had heard, then asked hesitantly, "One of his fiancées."
This time it was Kasumi who answered. "Yes one of his fiancées. He has or had at least five official fiancées that we know of, another who considers herself a fiancée, and one wife."
Hotaru observed the look that Kasumi gave Michiru when she said wife, but could make nothing of it, and Michiru's face gave nothing away.
"What kind of creep is he?" Hotaru fumed, "No wonder she pounded him." Hotaru indicated Akane.
"It wasn't his fault." Kasumi interrupted Hotaru before she could continue her tirade. All but one was the result of his father's own greed and stupidity." Kasumi's voice was soft, nearly sorrowful as she spoke.
"What do you mean?"
"Saotome Genma, Ranma's father, took Ranma on a training trip when Ranma was six years old. For ten years they wandered and trained with Ranma's only real companion being his father. Genma made Ranma into an incredible martial artist, but if it didn't pertain directly to martial arts he didn't teach it to Ranma. As a result Ranma had a severe foot in mouth problem, though he also had a heart of gold.
Even more unfortunately for Ranma his father is somewhat less than honorable. He engaged Ranma to several different girls in return for food, lodging, cash or other items. This started when Ranma was only six. The only one that was even partially Ranma's fault was Shampoo."
"Shampoo? What kind of name is that?" Hotaru wondered.
"Shampoo is a Chinese Amazon. Ranma defeated her in combat and according to their laws she is his wife and he has to marry her." Kasumi responded. "And they've tried everything they can think of to force him to marry her, potions, spells, curses, shiatsu points and even drugs."
Hotaru shot her mother a sideways glance, only to see her mama looking at her with amusement and a confirming nod.
"I thought maybe you could take her to see Elder Cologne, Shampoo and Mousse later today." Michiru added. They can show her some things that make a healing gift look positively mundane by comparison." Then with a mischievous grin, Michiru continued. "They don't normally like to show off Amazon Tribal Secrets, but if Too Too Nice Girl asks I don't think even Cologne can say no."
"Too Too Nice Girl????" Hotaru's face twisted with obvious puzzlement, giving her an unbearably cute look.
Michiru laughed while Kasumi simply gave a blindingly bright smile before answering the question.
"Shampoo still doesn't speak Japanese well, and she has a habit of giving descriptive nick-names to everyone she meets. That is what she calls me."
Once again Hotaru was surprised by the knowledge that her mother was showing regarding the situation in Nerima.
"But back to what we were telling you. There are several people here in Nerima with special abilities or gifts."
Kasumi pointed to a picture of Ranma holding a ki ball. "Ranma can focus his ki into energy blasts, he heals almost as quickly as a werewolf in a Hollywood movie. I've seem him recover from a broken arm in less than two weeks."
"Two weeks?!!!" Hotaru stuttered.
"Yes," Kasumi answered, "and that is not all Ranma has done."
Kasumi flipped to the next page, continuing her tale as she recounted the adventures that had occurred over the last two years.
Kasumi calmly continued to regale her audience of two with story after story, detailing the skills, powers and abilities of the NWC. She talked of the Amazons, Shampoo, Cologne and Mousse and shared some of their more esoteric skills. Kasumi told Hotaru of Ryoga's curse, his skills and the Shi Shi Hodoken that he used, of Saotome Genma and the "sealed techniques" that he had only reluctantly taught Ranma.
Hotaru listened, soaking up the details as the brunette spoke, amazed at the lives that these "normal" humans had. Time passed quickly for the trio as they sat and talked, Kasumi telling the stories with the only breaks in her tale being to answer the occasional question put forth by the youngest of the three.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Hotaru felt overwhelmed as she listened to Kasumi's words. Even now the youngest of the senshi would have doubted the older woman's words, except for the calm acceptance evident on her mother's face.
Finally, when Kasumi wound down to a close the violet eyes girl gathered her wits about her to ask a few more questions.
Hotaru pointed to a figure about whom Kasumi had told no tales, a cute redheaded girl who appeared often in the album, but who Kasumi never mentioned. This Hotaru found strange given Kasumi's willingness to talk about the others.
"Who is this girl?" she asked softly.
She noted once again the look that passed between her elders.
"Well," Kasumi began hesitantly and somewhat sadly, "That is Ranko."
Michiru interrupted before Kasumi answered the question. "That's not important right now. What is important is that Kasumi take you to meet some of these folks." Michiru stated calmly. "I know that you're probably anxious to see if what Kasumi has told you is true or a fairy tale."
"Well," Hotaru hedged. "I would like to know more about them."
"Good." Her mama answered. "It's about 2:00 now, the lunch rush should be over." Michiru turned to Kasumi before continuing. "Why don't you take Hotaru to the Cat Café." Michiru's words though in the form of a question were more a statement than a request.
"Why don't you wait outside while Kasumi and I talk for a minute? Then she can take you to lunch. She needs a break from the housework anyway."
Kasumi dissented only for a moment as Michiru told the eldest Tendo that SHE would take care of the dinner preparations then meet then at the rail station around 4:00.
Sighing in defeat, Kasumi nodded after putting up only a token argument, it would be nice to get out of the house for a change. With that Hotaru rose and walked outside. She really wanted to stay and hear the rest of the conversation, but knew her mama had a reason for the request, if she could only figure out what that reason was then perhaps all would be made clear.
Hotaru waited just outside the door to the home and (despite feeling some guilt) tried to listen to the older women as they talked. To her annoyance however, the girl could hear none of the conversation itself, just the low musical voice as they quietly talked. The only thing she was able to discern was that Kasumi was speaking a little more vehemently than her mama, as if she was trying to convince Michiru of something.
By the time the eldest Tendo emerged from the home after (apparently losing that discussion) her face was once again schooled into its serene façade, giving away nothing.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma smiled to herself as she and Hotaru walked back home from the rail station. Hotaru was bouncing as she walked beside her radiating excitement and practically glowing herself though from happiness and not with a battle aura. She had hoped that taking Hotaru to Nerima would help her daughter see that she was not the only person around "blessed" with a strange life. The plan appeared to have worked.
"Mama?" Hotaru questioned softly, "Did you know that Elder Cologne could heal people with her ki?"
"No dear I didn't, but that doesn't surprise me to hear that she can." Ranma answered softly. "How does it feel to know that there are others who can do the same things you can?"
Hotaru didn't even have to stop and think before shooting her answer back. "It feels pretty good." She admitted. "It's still strange though . . . ."
"What is strange?" Ranma questioned when it became apparent that Hotaru wasn't going to finish her statement.
"How come we've never heard about all the stuff going on in Nerima? I mean Elder Cologne said that Ranma and some of the others have fought demons and stuff themselves. I mean she was probably actually talking about youma or diamons . . . or maybe some of the other monsters the senshi fight, but it is still strange that we've never heard about it before." Hotaru paused thoughtfully. "We've never had to respond to any calls from there either . . . " again Hotaru's voice trailed off as she considered the new facts in her possession.
"Well . . ." Ranma answered, "my guess is that the NWC took care of matters themselves before we needed to do anything."
"Maybe." Hotaru allowed, "But it still seems strange."
With a small grin adorning her lips Ranma looked down at her daughter. "It may be strange," Her grin expanded exponentially as she continued, "But I think your view of what is "normal" expanded quite a bit today."
"Yes, yes it did." Hotaru admitted. "Did you know that when Kasumi took me by the school there was some guy dressed like a samurai attacking her sister Akane and she hit him so hard that he cracked the wall when he hit it and no-one even paid any attention to it. Then a couple of minutes later he got up and wandered off by himself."
"I'm not surprised." Ranma answered with another smug grin. "From what Kasumi has told me that kind of thing happens all the time."
"Kasumi also told me that Akane is the most popular girl in the school. No- one even cares about any of her special abilities." Hotaru finished wonderingly.
"I'm glad you had fun and made some new friends." Ranma advised sincerely. She hated to bring Hotaru down even a little, as it was a rare occurrence for the girl to be this exuberant. "The kids a Juban won't change overnight. But . . . hopefully . . . they will eventually grow up . . . and if they don't you will still meet plenty of others as you get older who will not only accept you, but will love you as much as your papa and I do."
"Do you really think so?" Hotaru asked, a little subdued as she considered her friends, or rather the lack thereof at her own school."
"Yes I do. Besides didn't Elder Cologne ask you to visit again?"
"Yes she did." Hotaru enthused. "I can't wait to visit her and Shampoo again. When can you take me? I really had fun today. I wish today wouldn't end." Hotaru finished somewhat wistfully, her face falling a bit as she wondered how long it would be before she could see her new friends again.
She was so caught up in her own excitement Hotaru missed the slight flinch and hesitation before her mama answered. "I have a few things to do first, but I'm sure Kasumi would be happy to see you visit again. She's been stuck in that house for so long and she really needs a friend. I think she'll make as good a friend to you as she has been for me. She told me she really enjoyed your company today, and can't wait to see you again."
Hotaru's positively beamed as she considered her first real friend outside of the other sailor senshi and their friends. Although older by several years, Kasumi had been fun to be around, though quieter than the rambunctious Shampoo, Hotaru had definitely enjoyed the time they spent wandering Nerima.
Ranma paused to open the door to their home, then waved Hotaru inside.
"Don't forget Chibi-usa is coming over tonight. Maybe you two should rent some movies and have a real sleepover.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Hi Hotaru!!!" Chibi-usa giggled as the door opened revealing her best friend. "What did you do today?"
"You won't believe it!" Hotaru replied with a matching giggle, Chibi-usa's presence putting the cherry on top of a wonderful day. "Michiru-mama took me to Nerima and I met the most amazing people."
"Michiru-sensei did . . . " The pink haired girl clapped her hands over her mouth as she realized what she had said.
Chibi-usa reallllly hoped Hotaru hadn't caught the slip; a quick glance over at her friend caused that hope to die stillborn as Hotaru's purple eyes widened momentarily then narrowed to slits as Hotaru stared at her.
"What did you say?" Hotaru hissed. "Is this something else you knew that you weren't supposed to tell?"
Chibi-Usa put on her best "who me" innocent expression and pretended not to hear the question. Inside the daughter of Usagi wondered just how she was going to get out of this one. Not only had Saturn caught the slip, she was hanging onto it will bulldog like tenacity.
Fortunately for the future princess a reprieve was given her when Haruka came in. The blond senshi was dressed in a freshly pressed tuxedo and quite frankly looked quite handsome. She would easily give Tuxedo Kamen a run for his money tonight.
"What's up girls?" Haruka asked. While Uranus might not be as observant about family matters as her lover Michiru, even she could tell something was wrong with the two youngsters. Chibi-usa looked as nervous as a cat lost in the dog pound . . . while Hotaru's expression mirrored that of the same cat with a small mouse targeted and ready to pounce.
"Nothing Haruka-papa." Hotaru answered evenly.
Chibi-usa wasn't fooled, though the words were quiet and unassuming, the look she was still receiving from her friend was promising that this matter was NOT over yet. The pink-haired Chibi-moon was somewhat relieved that Hotaru wasn't going to pursue the matter further in front of Haruka.
The respite was short lived however as Hotaru grabbed Chibi-usa and literally dragged her friend up to her room.
Usa gulped as Hotaru pushed her into the room, shut the door, locked it and turned to face her with a look of calm determination.
"We are going to talk." Hotaru growled. "and you are going to answer some questions."
4. Ch 4 Conversations and Revelations
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
Forever the Tomboy Ch. 4
Forever the Tomboy ---Ch 4 --- Conversations and Revelations
Chibi-Usa fought her panic as Hotaru turned away from the door and toward her. The young princess silently cursed the slip-of-the-tongue that let to this confrontation. Pu warned her EVERY time she returned to the past to be careful and she had blown it in less than two minutes. Chibi-Usa knew things, things that she did not dare reveal about the future, for to let them slip before it was time could endanger the future, and her very own existence.
Despite what many thought, the future was not a certainty, instead it was a possibility, if they were lucky a probability of how things would turn out, but carved in stone it was not. It was exactly for this reason that Pluto and the others in Crystal Tokyo didn't talk about specifics regarding their life to her. Events could, and undoubtedly would be affected by the knowledge that she possessed. It would be so easy for someone to take, or sometimes even more importantly, to fail to take actions based upon this foreknowledge.
Future princess or not, Chibi-Usa had screwed up and she knew it. While she knew that her Haruka and Michiru were just as much in love in the future as they were now, that could change all to easily. If they took the relationship for granted, or if others took it for granted and didn't help them out when they needed it the relationship could die. Usa shuddered as she considered the possible repercussions of that happening. Sailors Uranus and Neptune were among the strongest and staunchest of the Moon Kingdom's defenders, their teamwork bordered on the uncanny sometimes. If that relationship died would their ability to work together die as well? It was a possibility that frightened her.
That meant that she dared not reveal to many secrets even to her best friend. Not even Sailor Pluto could tell what effect any given piece of knowledge would have on the future. A fact that seemed so innocuous to them now could change everything, could destroy the future that was Crystal Tokyo. She was going to have to be verrryyyy careful as to what and how much she could tell Hotaru.
"We are going to talk," Hotaru growled, her purple eyes shining with determination. "and you are going to answer some questions."
Once again Usa decided to act innocent, sometimes it even worked, though almost never when she tried it with her mother, right now she was hoping for a better result.
"What do you want to talk about?" Usa answered, her voice positively dripping with good cheer. Usa grimaced inwardly, her tone was so sweet that if bottled and sold dentists would have their business assured for years.
"Don't play dumb with me Princess." Hotaru answered steadily, her tone was flat and brooked no nonsense. "Why did you call Michiru-mama sensei?"
Flinching imperceptibly the pink-haired girl searched for an answer that would be both truthful and innocuous.
"Well, all of the Senshi have things that they teach me. Neptune is just one of them."
Chibi-Usa watched as the Silence Bringer considered the answer.
"What exactly does mama teach you?"
"Well . . . " Once again Usa considered her words carefully. "Lots of things."
"There." Usa thought, "that's both true and vague enough not to cause any problems."
"Usa . . . What . . . Kind . . . Of . . . Things." The words were spaced and emphasized once again to let Usa know that Hotaru was NOT going to be put off, not this time. She had gone through to much today, both good and bad to be ignored or treated like a little kid.
The silence lingered then stretched on, the quiet somehow sounded louder than thunder, growing in volume even as all remained quiet. Chibi-Usa felt the weight of her friend's gaze as Hotaru stared unblinkingly at her, her amethyst eyes hard and still, yet the silence still continued. After nearly a minute of waiting for the silence to end the young Moon-Princess started to speak.
"Hotaru you know I can't . . . "She began only to be interrupted before she could finish..
"Usa, I'm sorry, but things have been so weird today. I need to know. Let's talk about this and figure out just what you CAN tell me.." Hotaru seemed to deflate as she conceded part of her argument. "I should know better, it just so frustrating when you know something and can't tell me, but surely there are some things you can . . . " Her voice trailed off once again leaving the pair in silence.
"You'll tell me as much as you can won't you?" Hotaru nearly pleaded, again her expressive eyes showing the uncertainty and fear lurking in her soul.
Usa nodded, a quick fierce motion as she rushed to envelope her friend in a bone-crushing hug clear evidence of her relationship to her mother Tsukino Usagi.
Hotaru resisted the hug for a moment, stiffening in surprise before returning it with one of her own. Even now such displays often took her by surprise, even now she was unused to comfort from anyone other than her mama and papa.
Usa felt her friend tense then finally relax into the warm embrace. The young princess fought back tears as she realized just how fragile Hotaru's happiness really was. Though happy now, at least when she felt secure in the love of her family, Hotaru still lacked the emotional stability that Usa had grown up with and it was times like this that the lack showed.
"Don't worry. It all works out." Usa comforted her friend. "It all works out."
"R-r-really," Hotaru stuttered, "I get scared sometimes, and so much has happened today."
"Tell me all about it," Usa started to release the hug, but before she could complete the action her mischievous nature kicked in and she succumbed to the dark impulse plaguing her. "Well, there are some things that I guess won't hurt to tell you." She purred, pulling the dark haired senshi back into a full glomp, then licked her friends ear.
Hotaru stiffened, shocked into immobility, her expressive amethyst eyes widening to the size of saucers.
"Us . . .Us . . . Usa, What!!!????" she nearly screamed.
"Now, now Hotaru-chan. You said you wanted to know some things about the future." Usa's tone dropped into a throaty purr.
"WHATTTT!!??" Hotaru finally found her voice as she yelped her question.
Chibi-Usa licked her friends ear once again, before finally, reluctantly releasing her glomp. She still held tightly to her friend's hand and guided her toward the bed. Gently pushing the stunned Hotaru down to the bed and into a seated position, Usa plopped down next to her friend assuming a cross-legged position and facing Hotaru never releasing the hold she had on Hotaru's hand.
"This is fun!!!" the future princess crowed inwardly as she watched Hotaru trying to pull herself back together.
"Are you okay Hotaru-chan?"
"Uhmm, What?" Hotaru answered absently as she tried to control her emotions and bring herself back into at least the semblance of calm.
"I asked if you were okay?"
"Why did you do that?" Hotaru answered cautiously. "Dammit why did Usa do that?" she pondered as she waited for an answer.
"Wellllll." Usa teased, "You were so uptight that I wanted to see if I could get you to relax."
"Relax! I'm certainly not relaxed now!"
"Oh really," The purr was back, "So I take it you liked it then?" the words were in the form of a question, but the tone showed that they were instead an assertion of fact."
"Eeepp," Hotaru paused again nervous and uncertain as to the best way to reply. Despite Haruka-papa and Michiru mama's relationship she had never (well other than in a couple of embarrassing hentai dreams) thought about another girl in "that" way. Despite her shock however, Hotaru had to admit the thrill that shot though her body when Usa licked and then kissed her ear. Her normally pale face was hot and colored a shade that was normally reserved for overripe tomatoes
"I'm sorry," Usa apologized, though once again her tone made it unclear as to whether this was a true apology or not. "But I did get your attention didn't I?" The sultry tone was broken by the giggles that Usa couldn't contain any longer, the look on Hotaru's face had been sooooo shocked.
"You certainly did." Hotaru conceded.
"Don't worry. We've . . . I mean you've got a fiancé waiting for you in Crystal Tokyo."
Hotaru's mind latched onto her friend's words. "A fiancé? Really?"
Hotaru's mind reeled as she considered what Usa told her. A fiancé, she had a fiancé in the future, someone who loved her and wanted to be with HER. The words took on a life all their own as Hotaru felt an intense relief. Michiru-mama was right, she would find someone to love her just as she was, who would accept her . . . and her gifts.
"Yes you do, and no I can't tell you any more than . . . " Usa agreed, while attempting to shut down any further inquiries into the matter.
"Wait a minute." Hotaru interrupted. "Did you just say We've got a fiancé?"
"Oooppps." Usa muttered. "No wonder Setsuna has so much trouble with this stuff."
"You did didn't you. You said WE'VE got a fiancé." Hotaru pressed.
"I really can't say anything else Hotaru, sorry." Usa muttered uneasily, not sure that she liked how Hotaru's hands were clenching and unclenching..
Hotaru took a deep breath, counted to ten then sighed, she knew that the pink haired girl was probably right. Kami knows that she'd heard Setsuna harp on just this topic many many times. Besides, while from all appearances the two of them had somehow reached an agreement on the fiancé issue, at least Usa didn't appear to be upset about the arrangement.
Watching her friends reactions Usa grinned she could practically see the gears turning in Hotaru's mind. She also knew why Setsuna enjoyed this so much. If Hotaru only knew the truth. Yes they were both engaged to a wonderful boy, a prince in fact. He was the great-grandson of Michiru's sword sensei, and the Second Prince of the Jurian Empire. There wasn't going to be any problem with outliving him . . . and he was sooooo cute to.
"Okay." Hotaru conceded grudgingly, but then returned to the attack.
"You still haven't told me about mama and papa."
Usa groaned, she had hoped that the news of a fiancé would derail Hotaru's thought process and stop the questions for a while.
"Give me a minute." She commanded. "I need to think about this. I don't know exactly when some of this came out so I'm afraid to just tell you."
"I guess that's fair." Hotaru grudgingly agreed though her tone made it clear that she did NOT want to agree with the statement.
After a few minutes of intense quiet Usa continued. "Why don't you tell me what happened today and I'll see if that help me figure out what you already know and how much I can tell you.
"Well, It started out this morning. I was feeling a little down 'cause the kids at school are still teasing me a lot. So I asked Michiru-mama if we could walk to school together." A momentary giggle broke her otherwise solemn expression. "I love Haruka- papa, but sometimes she's just so . . . dense."
Usa giggled in response. "Yeah, and that's one thing that doesn't seem to change. She's always getting into trouble with Michiru because of that."
Usa watched as her friend finally began to relax as she continued her retelling of the day's events. Hotaru apparently had quite an exciting day. She had met several people who took her abilities in stride and accepted her as she was. The young princess envied her friend the experience. While being a princess was often great, it could was often quite confining as well. She was expected to act certain ways, to always be the princess, to act the part of heir to the throne. Sometimes she just wanted to be free from all that and here in the past with her friends she could be herself. She could be Chibi-Usa just another normal girl and could leave the princess behind her at least for a little while.
"I'm worried about mama." Hotaru finished uncertainly.
Hotaru sniffled a bit before continuing. "I'm afraid Kasumi's an old girlfriend. I mean I've never heard mama talk about any other girls. It's like Haruka-papa is the only one she's ever really been interested in. But now that I think about it mama's so pretty that would be hard to believe." Hotaru's voice nearly broke as she continued. "And when Kasumi hugged her today she looked so . . . "
"So what?" Usa asked softly when Hotaru stopped.
"I don't know exactly." Hotaru murmured frustratedly. "Like I said, when we got there this gorgeous woman glomped mama in a hug that would make your mom jealous."
"Wow." Usa responded. "And how did your mom take it."
"That's the strange part. You know how she is kinda . . . " Hotaru paused again searching for the right words. It wasn't like her mama was unfeeling or anything, at times she could be downright hentai in her displays with Haruka-papa. Usually though Michiru was more reserved than that, really only letting her mischievous nature out when at home or with friends, and despite never having admitted such Hotaru knew that the Inner Scouts were considered to be among her friends by her mama. In public though Michiru usually limited herself to less . . . exuberant . . . displays.
"Mama's usually kinda . . . private with her feelings." Hotaru finished.
"Yeah."
"Well she wasn't like that today. She hugged Kasumi back and when they talked it was like they loved each other." This time Hotaru broke down, she tried to fight the worry that was filling her, but despite her best efforts tears trickled from between her closed eyelids and trailed down her cheeks.
"Mama looked so content, so happy. Like someone who had lost something important and after a very long time finds it again." Hotaru's eyes gleamed with unshed tears talked.
"That's good isn't it?"
"I don't know." Hotaru wailed. "What if she leaves us?"
"Don't worry Hotaru. Everything will be alright."
"Are you sure?" Hotaru questioned still sniffling slightly.
Chibi-Usa nodded, once again enveloping her friend in a comforting hug. This time however she made sure that friendship was all she offered.
"I'm sure." Usa didn't know everything that would occur between now and her life in Crystal Tokyo. But she did know enough about Haruka and Michiru to know that they were true soul mates. That by itself didn't necessarily mean that they would be able to stay together though. Usa had seen with her own eyes the problems that her own mother and father had with their relationship here in the past. The fact that they were soul-mates didn't always equate to smooth sailing in their personal life, and when this type of relationship died it was worse than if they had never met as each would almost instinctively compare everyone else to the mate that had been lost, and everyone else would be somehow lacking.
"Now tell me more about what happened today." Usa ordered taking on an imperious tone, as if she were Queen of the Moon Kingdom already.
"Well, like I said Elder Cologne was very interesting, even if she was kinda scary." Hotaru resumed her tale. "She said she was over 300 years old." With a giggle Hotaru added, "and she looks it too."
"So what do you think of the others you met today?"
Hotaru paused once again, "That's what's making this so hard. I like them, even Kasumi. Not one of them cared that I can heal." Hotaru corrected herself before continuing, "No, that's not quite right, they care, but they think it's cool that I can heal people. Shampoo even said she wished she could do that, she said it would make training a lot easier if she could heal herself when she finished."
"I'm just worried. When Kasumi and mama talked it was like she and mama were sharing secrets right in front of me."
"What kind of secrets?"
"I don't know, maybe that they were in love, or maybe something else. I don't know, it was like listening to only one side of a phone conversation. You can kinda guess what's being said but you don't really know for sure. That's why when you called mama sensei I caught it."
The once and future princess nodded slightly. Now she knew when she was. Apparently Michiru's "double life" hadn't been found out . . . yet. Usa wondered just what the next few days would be like. From the teasing that Haruka still occasionally took in Crystal Tokyo, the young princess knew that Haruka's reaction must've been something else. She also knew that another threat was about to surface, one that would test all the senshi as well as the bonds of trust that they had forged so far.
Apparently it had been quite a shock for Haruka to find out that "quiet Neptune" was a grandmaster in the martial arts, probably the best of her generation. Yes, the next few days were going to be interesting indeed, and Haruka was proud. For a long time the senshi of Uranus had been the best, now the title was about to pass to another. Just how would Haruka react to that?
"I don't know exactly Hotaru, but I do know this we can help them get though it. They are still together back in Crystal Tokyo. Once again Chibi-Usa had to fight back the giggles. Yes indeed they were together, and she could hardly wait until she COULD reveal some of the things she knew, the look on Haruka's face would be priceless, if she didn't pass out first.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma looked at herself critically, the events of the day making the blue- tressed woman who stared back at her seem a stranger. It had taken her years to get used to, truly used to being a girl, in fact it had literally taken growing up a second time. However, the woman she was now made all of it worthwhile, well that and Haruka, her lover and in so many ways her life.
Ranma sighed contentedly, she really did love Haruka, even though the blond could be so dense sometimes. At that thought Ranma had to choke back a severe case of the giggles, Haruka sometimes even made Ranma look observant about his relationships. Though she supposed that if she were to be fair about this observation that was probably overstating the case at least a little. No, even though she had been reminded all to often today of who she had been and what she had given up, she wouldn't trade her life now for the old one for anything she would never go back to the madness that was Ranma's life. Her life now could be and often was chaotic, but she had a purpose. . . . and a family
No, the woman looking gazing at her from the mirror was everything that Ranma/Ranko was not. Michiru was elegant, the very epitome of culture and refinement. The old Ranma would never have admitted (even to himself) that a world outside of martial arts existed. He would never admit an interest in the things that Michiru had grown to love. He would've scorned the violin, the classes she took and the education she enjoyed. Still there were traces of the old Ranma, the martial arts were still very important to her, family and duty.
Still though, Michiru was a far cry from the tomboyish Ranko. Ranko was a tomboy who refused to even consider being feminine. Wearing a sports bra was an anathema, and she would rather be dead that caught wearing the delicate (and to be quite honest erotic) work of lace and fabric she sported now. No Ranko would never be caught in the lingerie that Michiru favored, but despite the nostalgia generated by today's activities her days of wearing men's boxers were long over.
The serene smile turned sultry, one more suited to a model than a tomboy as she contemplated the evening yet to come. That is if the model was one posing for a hentai magazine. No Ranko would never wear an outfit like this, a racy blue bra and a garter-belt with silk stockings of a slightly softer shade of blue.
The outfit laying on the bed was not much better, from Ranko's old point of view. The only similarity with the outfits that Ranma/Ranko wore was the silk fabric. The dress itself was an evening gown which molded to her body like a second skin, shoulders were left bare and the neckline plunged to show her abundant features off to their best effect, yet which was still decent. The skirt itself was short and barely reached her mid-thigh, with a slit up one side that nearly reached her hip.
It wouldn't take much of an effort to give Haruka a show all the while maintaining so far as any observers could tell the proper restraint. The only consideration that she gave to "Ranko" were the flats that she would wear, even now shoes she could fight or run in were important to her and while she had learned to fight in heels as a result of her senshi uniform, when a "civilian" she preferred something a bit more practical.
Ranma's face morphed into an even naughtier expression as she slipped into the dress while considering the possibilities for fun this evening. Haruka wasn't going to know what hit her, not that the tomboy would have anything to complain about.
Dressed to the nines Ranma picked up the matching purse and glided from the room, her hips swaying sensuously.
She knocked on her daughter's door, interrupting the pair plotting inside.
"Hotaru-chan?"
"Yes mama." A muffled voiced answered from within.
"I'm about ready to get Haruka and leave for dinner. Can I come in for a minute?"
"Yes mama."
Ranma heard light footsteps then the sound of a lock being turned before the door opened revealing her daughter.
A sly grin gracing her face Ranma looked at Usa-chan perched on the bed with a guilty look on her face.
"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" she began with a sly tone in her voice.
To her surprise Hotaru blushed furiously, before beginning her denials.
"Mama! It's not like that."
A quick look at Chibi-Usa confirmed that the young princess was coloring as well.
"Hmmm." Ranma answered thoughtfully, "Well don't do anything that I wouldn't do."
"As if there's much you wouldn't do." Ranma heard the nearly inaudible mutter from both her daughter and Usa.
"I heard that." Ranma laughed, causing the pair to start, then cast guilty looks at each other.
"Mama!" Hotaru appeared to be desperately fighting her inclination to blush and began fidgeting in embarrassment.
"Sorry Hotaru-chan, I was only teasing. Though . . . "
"Mama! Stop it."
"Yes dear." Ranma deadpanned her reply. "I was only teasing."
Leaning over she gave Hotaru and peck on the cheek then with a wink turned away.
"There's food and soda in the fridge," Ranma offered, "and I left some money for take-out if you'd rather do that. Haruka and I will be back later. I'll check in on the two of you when we get back."
Still laughing she walked away. Life was good. A frown flitted across her face as she considered what was yet to come. She just hoped that it stayed good. Tomorrow would be the first in a series of steps to regain what she had lost, Ranma just hoped that she wouldn't lose what she had while finding some of her past.
As expected Haruka had lost what patience she had with waiting and Ranma found her watching TV in the living room. The senshi of Neptune took a moment to gaze at her lover. Haruka looked positively handsome in her tuxedo, she would be turning many a girls eye tonight, and if the past were any indication of the future Haruka would revel in it. The blond also appeared to be totally oblivious to anything other than the martial arts tournament on the box. Taking advantage of the situation, Ranma ghosted across the floor, wrapped her arms around Haruka and give her a soft kiss on the neck.
"Are you ready lover?"
"Just a minute Michiru, the match is almost over." Haruka replied distractedly.
Ranma took this in attention as a challenge and tightened her hug, her warm breath and throaty whisper designed to draw attention away form the TV and to herself. She had spent quite a while getting ready and now her date was more interested in the TV than in her.
She watched as Haruka squirmed on the couch, trying to ignore the kisses as she watched the tournament's final match.
"Michiru, I said just a minute."
"But Haruka," Ranma pouted seductively, "I'm ready to go and you promised me dinner."
"No I didn't." Haruka replied somewhat grumpily, "You made me promise you dinner when you announced your plans for the evening."
"Fine." Now it was Ranma's turn to complain, "But you know Azami's going to win. You told me she always wins."
"Yeah." Haruka admitted, "But I want to see her win, her sword style is nearly perfect ... besides I didn't think you ever really listened when I talked martial arts." Haruka's attention was still on the TV and not her mate.
Ranma gave in, and with a devastatingly cute pout settled next to Haruka on the couch and leaned into Haruka's taller frame. Ranma didn't need to see the TV to know what was coming, so she instead spent her energy in snuggling.
A few moments later and with a final flurry of strikes the match was indeed over with Azami the winner.
Haruka appeared almost surprised to find Michiru cuddled next to her.
"Man she's good," Haruka crowed. "She's the best sword master to compete since Saotome Nodoka."
"Really," Ranma answered absently rising to her feet and pulling her larger companion with her.
"Yeah, and she's so mysterious too," Haruka continued. "She never gives interviews herself. All we really know is that Saotome Nodoka was her sensei, and then she studied with Nodoka's sensei for a while. Well and the fact that she hasn't lost an important match in years. Even getting a picture of her is hard. It's almost like she disguises herself. In one tournament she's a blond, in the next a brunette."
"Sounds strange." Ranma answered with a laugh.
Only her years of practice allowed Ranma to keep a straight face at the plaintive note in Haruka's voice. "And she's never taken a student, and believe me it's not from a lack of people asking, and she's so cute too."
"Now Haruka." Ranma teased, "Keep it up and I might get jealous. "And that would definitely interfere with my plans for you this evening."
"Plans?" Haruka laughed, "and just what are those plans?"
"Treat me nice enough and you might find out."
Haruka laughed, as she finally really noticed her love for the first time this evening."
"Wow you look delicious . . . I mean good tonight."
"I kinda liked your first thought." Ranma laughed throatily, "But we need to go, our reservations at Chizuma's are in twenty minutes."
It was a short walk to the garage and Haruka's car. The pair settled in as Haruka fired up the horses.
Ranma waited until they were on the road, then took Haruka's hand and placed it in he lap relishing the warm feel, softly stroking her lover's hand, and enjoying the blush that her actions produced.
"Feeling good tonight are we." Haruka purred,
Ranma only laughed as they sped toward the restaurant.
The trip didn't take long and Haruka reluctantly, very reluctantly turned the keys to her baby over to the valet. The restaurant itself was crowded, a line already formed and the bar crowded. Chizuma's was a well-known five star establishment popular with those in the know. They however didn't have to wait as the reservations had been confirmed long before.
Ranma reveled in the jealous looks she was getting from the ladies as Haruka escorted her in. There was no doubt in her mind that Haruka was the handsomest "guy" in the crowd and her opinion was obviously shared by more than a few of the women. She studiously ignored the appraising looks she herself was getting from nearly all the men ... and a few of the ladies present. Instead she took Haruka's arm possessively and melded herself to the taller blond, staking her claim clearly and indicating her willingness to protect that claim.
The maitre de, a distinguished gentleman with silvered hair escorted them to their table. Ranma had specifically asked for table as it afforded a good view out while remaining somewhat out of the public eye. It was the perfect location for an evening of fun teasing and titillating her lover.
After a brief conversation with their escort and a discussion of the wine they were left alone.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Haruka fidgeted a bit as she settled in. This place was definitely more Michiru's style than hers. The blond tomboy felt more at home at the track or in one of the restaurants or bars that the other racers frequented than in a place like this. She just wasn't used to this type of luxury, her family was comfortably middle class and seldom frequented these types of places. Michiru on the other hand, was used to this, her family had money and weren't afraid to use it. Though she knew that Michiru was adopted that didn't change the fact that she had grown up with advantages and a certain "station" in life that she herself had not.
It was times like these that the differences were made apparent. Haruka felt more than a little out of place. Yes she could fit in, but it wasn't her cup of tea, her companion however treated this as nothing more than ordinary, nothing more than her due. Sometimes it made her wonder just what Michiru saw in her. It couldn't be just that their sexual preferences, Michiru could have her pick of the ladies, yet her aqua- tressed companion was with her, and gave every indication of wanting to stay with her.
Still there was something going on. Haruka may not have appeared to have heard Setsuna this morning, but she had. There was something going on with either Michiru or Hotaru or possibly both, and it worried her more than a little. When Setsuna began talking of secrets and things best revealed it made her nervous. Just what had the senshi of Pluto been talking about?
Haruka shook her head as she heard Michiru tell or ask her something, and from the glint in Michiru's eyes it was something that she'd find interesting. Not only that but ignoring Michiru when she was in a teasing mode was not something to be done lightly. A licentious smile grew as she recalled the last time that Michiru had been ignored when making a suggestion. Who knew that the little minx was so . . . inventive, and while the activity was nothing that she'd have come up with on her own, she hadn't minded Michiru's little game when it had been revealed. No, she hadn't minded it at all.
"I'm sorry Michiru, I was still thinking about the tournament," Haruka lied.
Oblivious she might be most of the time, but even she new better than to talk about her fear that Michiru might someday realize just how different they really were when Michiru was dressed to the nines and sitting across from her.
"Guess what I'm not wearing." Ranma purred enjoying the look of dawning comprehension on the tomboy's face.
Haruka for her part stared at the vision that was Michiru, then swallowed nervously as sudden warmth filled her soul. How did Michiru manage to do this? Just about the time Haruka thought she had her figured out Michiru would pull something new. Michiru was defiantly a heady brew, and one she hoped with all she had to be able to enjoy for the rest of her life.
Haruka stared as Ranma leaned forward seductively, the silk dress making the already gorgeous woman even more sexy than normal, and that was quite an accomplishment in and of itself.
"Just what do you have planned?" she finally stammered. Even as she fought for calm Haruka thanked the Kami for bringing Michiru into her life. Yes she'd had other girlfriends, but none like her. Michiru was an often perplexing mix of restraint and daring. You never knew what went on that calm façade of hers until it was to late. Not that she was complaining. Before Michiru she'd had lovers, several in fact, but none that seemed to fill the void in her soul like the vision in blue before her.
"That you will find out later."
Haruka shuddered in anticipation, definitely a heady brew indeed. Still, she hadn't been Michiru's lover for the last couple of years for nothing. Something was on her companions mind, probably several somethings. While to most Michiru had a poker face that professionals would envy, Haruka could read deeper than the mask and she new that something important was on Michiru's mind, something more than just a wild time later tonight.
"I'm looking forward to that discovery." Haruka purred her own reply. Then in challenge continued. "I just hope you can back up your promise.
She shivered at the sultry look that was her only answer.
The conversation was interrupted before it could go any further as their waitress, a rather attractive and tasty dish herself came to take their order. Haruka tried her best to keep her eyes off the waitress and on her companion. If there was anything that could ruin the evening it would be Michiru catching her ogling another woman. While the senshi of Neptune usually just laughed and called her a hentai, there were times when it didn't go over nearly so well, and for the life of her Haruka still couldn't tell what would set Michiru off. She often wondered if Michiru knew herself, and occasionally wondered if the smaller woman just acted jealous to make her squirm and beg forgiveness. Though to be honest the making up after a fight was sweet as well.
Innocuous small talk filled the silence as they waited for their meal. Haruka didn't want to spoil the mood by asking questions she was afraid that Michiru didn't want to answer, but she was very curious about what had happened today. Michiru skipping school was unusual in itself, and for her to have encouraged Hotaru to ditch school with her was nearly unheard of, but the senshi of Uranus wasn't sure how to breach the topic. Additionally, she could tell that Michiru was hiding something else. Michiru had been moody for the last few weeks, moving from one emotion to another with an abruptness that was unlike the normally unflappable woman. Something told her that this weekend was going to be very critical, despite her act at normalcy, Michiru was giving out signals that something big was up. What it was she didn't know. She'd just have to trust Michiru and hope that everything worked out.
She knew that Michiru would eventually talk to her, at least she hoped that she would, until then she would have to simply trust the other woman. The trust was there, she trusted Michiru with her very life when the fought the Negaverse, yet at times she still felt there were thoughts going on in Michiru's mind that the other didn't share with her. She just have to be patient, eventually Michiru would share (at least some of ) what was on her mind.
The meal finally arrived at it was as good as Chizuma's reputation promised. However, she couldn't help but notice that Michiru was more pushing the food around on her plate than actually enjoying the meal, and that was unusual as well. .
Still she was surprised at the more serious tone and nervous expression on her lover's face as she finally decided to talk about more than the "safe" topics they'd been discussing prior to the food's arrival.
"Haruka?"
"Yes." Haruka pulled her attention from her own thoughts to the words of her lover.
"It's been fun raising Hotaru hasn't it?" Michiru asked softly, not looking up from where she was chasing the noodles around the plate. "You've liked being her papa haven't you?"
Haruka smiled here at least was a safe topic, for indeed she loved Hotaru as if she was her own daughter and she was her father.
"She's a great kid." Haruka agreed.
Michiru looked up, "Do you ever think about us having kids?"
Haruka's eyes widened, she suspected that she looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an approaching car. This was NOT what she had been expecting. More flirting and teasing yes, the talk of children no. Especially not with the longing that she heard so clearly in the aqua- tressed woman's voice.
5. Ch 5 Dinner and Dancing?
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
Forever the Tomboy Ch. 5 – Dinner and Dancing?
A/N – Still not yet to the flashbacks chapter(s) but some more glimpses of what has been and what is to come.
"Do you ever think about us having kids?"
The words echoed in Haruka's mind as she tried to grasp what her companion had actually said. Understanding the words themselves was easy, it had after all been a simple straightforward question. What was neither easy nor simple, however, was figuring out what brought the subject up at all. They were both young and had literally hundreds of years to think about children. Unless of course they died trying to bring Crystal Tokyo into fruition. All indications were (given that Chibi-Usa knew them in the future) that they would survive until then, so what was behind this?
The blond senshi searched her memories trying to recall anything that could've caused this situation, this question she was faced with now. She searched and failed to think of anything that would've warned her before now that her lover so desired a child of her own.
Given that the question appeared to come out of no-where, Haruka had no immediate reply and fell back on her experience as a senshi when the unexpected arose. When faced with a completely new or foreign situation (or enemy) Sailor Uranus habitually employed one of two tactics. She either attacked immediately or hung back trying to buy time to assess the situation and come up with a plan. The problem was that, of the two Outer senshi Michiru was the thinker, the planner; she herself nearly always preferred the frontal assault option.
While Haruka was not known for being subtle, and indeed she did normally prefer option one over option two, even she knew that there were times when a good offense made a problem worse instead of better. She KNEW that attacking in this situation could be bad, very bad. If Michiru was serious and not pulling one of her pranks a verbal assault would create a serious rift in their relationship. Haruka would rather get a root canal without anaesthetic than risk losing the blue-eyed woman sitting so seductively across from her. Michiru was more than just her lover, she was part of her soul, her very life. Nothing scared Haruka more than the possibility of losing Kaiou Michiru, not even the possibility of losing Crystal Tokyo though she'd not admit that weakness in front of the others.
So, with her mouth still gaping open in shock Haruka desperately sought to remain calm and desperately dove into one of the few "soft" arts she knew and sought peace through a martial arts meditation mantra, hoping for the peace it normally brought her.
Swallowing nervously she grabbed her wineglass and took a long pull of the effervescent liquid, treating the rather expensive vintage as if it were nothing more than a wino's pick-me-up and the cheapest of wines.
"Ummm," she started to speak, her voice several octaves higher than normal and with a squeak that sounded much more like Tsukino Usagi, than she cared for. Hearing the squeal in her own voice Haruka stopped, took a deep breath and then continued.
"Did you say that you wanted us to have kids?"
The tuxedo clad woman watched as Michiru continued to stare at the half eaten plate of noodles in front of her, scrutinizing the food as if the secrets of the universe could be discovered in the cooling mixture of noodles and sauce.
"Not exactly," Michiru spoke softly, with a hesitance in her voice that was rarely seen or heard.
"Not exactly?" Haruka responded astounded by the display of nerves. She'd seen Michiru perform in front of a full auditorium, one filled with noted music critics and professional musicians without displaying the slightest hint of fear. She'd watched as Sailor Neptune faced death for her Queen and accepted it as the price of loyalty with less trepidation than she was displaying in this simple conversation. Deep down Haruka felt the subtle glow of love, the flame of her passion with Michiru warming her. Obviously this was important to her lover and what was important to Michiru was important to her.
"What I actually asked was whether or not you ever thought about us having kids."
Haruka swallowed, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach.
"Ummm," she began formulating an answer ever so eloquently. "I'm uhhh, not exactly equipped to help in that department." Haruka answered with a shaky laugh, even though no question had been asked this time. Trying to inject a bit of levity the she continued, "and neither are you."
When Michiru looked up the longing was clear in the sapphire eyes. Haruka saw that Michiru was serious about this, very serious. The sometimes oblivious Haruka was nearly floored by the clarity of the emotions she was seeing. Her lover normally presented a calm, almost emotionless façade to the world, only really letting go with her family or when she was in the throes of passion. But right here, right now that mask was not just down . . . it was GONE. Now the question was what effect Michiru's desire for a child or children would have on their relationship, and what effect denying that desire might have. Warring with the love she felt was more than a little nervousness, and the faintest beginnings of anger. What would Michiru do if she rejected the idea, would she seek a child elsewhere? Would she perhaps seek another lover, a man who could give her what she wanted?
Haruka might be oblivious to the "softer" emotions at times, but she wasn't stupid. She'd heard Hotaru and Chibi-Usa talking earlier, and she too wondered who this Kasumi was, would this Kasumi be willing to make a family with Michiru if she didn't? Shaking her head Haruka turned away, at least momentarily from her fears and back to her companion.
"But, if we could..."
"I've never really thought about it." Haruka admitted. She'd never seen Michiru look so vulnerable as she did right now. It both scared her, and quite frankly it also turned her on. Haruka wanted nothing more than to gather the smaller woman in her arms and hold on, showing her love in a way that was clearer than words.
"I mean I like girls, always have." Haruka continued. "So I've never really thought about it."
"Never?" once again the voice came ever so softly, with a slight tinge of sadness underlying the words.
"Well," Haruka reluctantly, but honestly, conceded, "Maybe once or twice when Hotaru was still a baby. You always looked so happy taking care of her."
"So if there was a way for us to have children you might be willing to?"
Haruka sighed, "I never could deny you anything, you know that." She answered. "Just what do you have planned in that sneaky mind of yours."
This time it was Michiru that sighed, her warm breath caressing Haruka's cheek as it wafted across the table. "I don't want you 'giving in' and agreeing to this just because I want a baby of our own. It has to be something we both want, and we'd need to talk to Hotaru as well." Michiru paused before continuing, this time with a fierce note of protectiveness in her voice. "I don't want her thinking even for a moment that we are trying to replace her."
Looking into Michiru's eyes as the silence continued Haruka saw something . . . break . . . she saw the longing start to fade, and the loss hurt her. Even though she was still more than half stunned by the conversation, the blond knew that Michiru meant what she said. If she didn't want children then Michiru would give up this dream. Gathering the remnants of her courage Haruka interrupted he lover before she could speak further. She reached out and took one of Michiru's hands in her own.
"I didn't say I didn't want kids. I just said that I couldn't given one to you."
Haruka's emotions were in turmoil. She knew that she couldn't give Michiru what she wanted. They were both girls and despite all the miracles of modern technology she'd never heard of anyone making a child from two female eggs. Men might not attract her, but she did know that you needed one to make a baby at least as things stood now.
An unfamiliar emotion began to grow inside the senshi of Uranus, the emotion of fear. She knew, or at least thought she did, that Neptune loved her. Indeed if you'd asked this question of her before tonight she would've affirmed that love with no hesitation and no real uncertainty.
Still, doubts long held, but firmly quashed began to raise their ugly head. Yes, Michiru was her lover and had been for nearly two years, but she also knew that Michiru had been a virgin when they became lovers. As beautiful as Kaiou Michiru was she had never been with anyone before they made love together. Neptune had never been with another woman, let alone another man in that way, never surrendered her all to another before Ten'ou Haruka. When they had first decided to go all the way, Michiru had been as nervous as hell. It still shocked her, and gave her more than a little thrill to know that she had been the first to know Michiru completely, the first to bring her to that place of ultimate ecstasy, the first to taste her inner self.
Haruka had no doubt that Michiru was interested in women. A salacious grin grew on her face as she considered just how much the aqua-tressed woman enjoyed making love to her, the Princess of Neptune hell she was practically insatiable once she got started.
Still the fear had always lingered somewhere in the dark recesses of her mind that Michiru might some-day want to find out what it was like to be with a man. The fear was small, nearly non-existent but it was still there. Haruka didn't really think that Michiru would leave her for a man, but could she be sure seeing the desire so evident now in her sparkling blue eyes?"
The paranoid thoughts flashed through the senshi's mind in a few short seconds, as she realized just how ridiculous that thought actually was. Not only had she never seen Michiru look at a man with desire, her companion had on more than one occasion expressed more than a little distaste for the idea.
Her own personal experience bore that out. Even when they had become lovers it had taken a long time before the senshi of Neptune would even consider using any 'toys' that looked like the male organ, and an even longer time before she finally consented to using them. Haruka had at first thought Michiru had been raped. The strength of her reaction the first time the use of a dildo had been suggested as a way to increase their mutual passion had shown more than Neptune probably realized. But even that didn't seem quite right. It was strange actually, none of the women she'd been with before had anywhere near that reaction, none of her prior lovers had looked so scared and fearful at the thought of being "filled" while making love. A few had detested the thought of doing it with a man, but they didn't shy away from the same adventures with another woman. Michiru on the other hand had acted with an almost phobic fear, and had nearly become physically sick the first time she had brought out one of those toys.
"Haruka? Have I lost you again?"
Once again the senshi of Uranus dragged her thoughts back from her own musings and back to the present, and back to the still unanswered question her lover had posed. Gathering her courage Haruka answered.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma toyed with her meal, for once her appetite was non-existent. True, as Michiru she no longer gulped her food or gorged herself like say, Tsukino Usagi, but she still needed copious amounts of calories to fuel her martial artist body. Since she didn't want anyone to know just how much she did eat she supplemented her meals with high carb supplements like shakes and power bars and took other supplements as well. Those provided the calories she needed and still allowed her to eat like a "normal" person. One thing that hadn't changed though was her enjoyment of food. It was just that in her second life as Michiru she limited herself to smaller portions except for those occasions when she was out alone.
Tonight however her appetite had deserted her. Even the five star cuisine that was before her couldn't hold her attention, instead all of her focus was on her lover. What Ten'ou Haruka had to say about this question was important, very important to her. Her life now was better than it had ever been. Even the danger she faced as a Scout only heightened her enjoyment of life. They had a wonderful life together, and yes she loved Haruka, Hotaru and even Setsuna more than life itself, but she still dreamed of another child, one of her own.
Still, now that she'd actually raised the issue with her love, she wondered if she was pushing for too much to quick. The look of utter shock on Haruka's face had frightened her a bit, okay she admitted to herself it had frightened her more than just a bit.
She had planned this for a long time. A momentary smirk crossed her face at that thought, there were many who would never believe that Saotome Ranma could ever think ahead. Perhaps they were right, until the very last of his days in Nerima she had been a creature of reaction always responding to situations thrust upon her instead of taking charge and working to stop problems before the ballooned into catastrophe. Growing up "Michiru" had changed all of that. Before she had "exiled" herself in the past she had sworn an oath to herself to take full advantage of the opportunities given her by her new life. She had not only decided to learn she had embraced the chance to learn, to think and to grow. While she sometime still reacted instinctively to problems now outside of combat, now she was just as apt to look for a way to prevent problems before they happened, and to face them immediately when they did happen instead of trying to put them off in the vague hope they would go away or somehow solve themselves.
Even so the best of plans were not perfect and it had taken her quite a while to build up the courage necessary to finally ask Haruka what she thought of a child of their own. The desire to ask this question had been there ever since they had adopted Hotaru. Saturn's 's growth spurt, which had turned their daughter from a baby to a middle-school student literally overnight had merely added fuel to the fire. To her own shock and some dismay she had loved every minute of taking care of a baby. Nothing had kept her down, not the feedings, the diapers or the lack of sleep. Sometimes it had been rough, but every minute had filled her with feelings that nearly overwhelmed her. Feelings of love and a fierce protectiveness for her child that she would never lose.
Yes she loved Hotaru, but she hadn't been able to raise her the way she would a child of her own. She wanted another child, not to replace Hotaru, no one could do that, but the thought of seeing her baby go though all the steps of childhood, having an opportunity to raise her child with love and compassion, to show him or her the ways of honor and duty from the very first was a desire she still had. Not to mention the thought of having a child with her lover and a sibling for Hotaru was almost a need for her.
Ranma was willing to give up that dream for Haruka or Hotaru, but she wasn't going give up until she tried.
Looking up from her meal, Ranma saw that Haruka had zoned out again. Keeping her lover on track (with this topic at least) was not easy. Ranma knew however that part of the problem was undoubtedly due to shock. Obviously this wasn't something that Haruka had ever seriously considered, and quite frankly Ranma had to admit that she'd pulled this one out of nowhere, at least as far as Haruka was concerned. It had clearly shocked her lover beyond he ability to answer rationally.
"Haruka? Have I lost you again?" she murmured nervously.
Ranma watched as patiently as she could while Haruka gathered her wits about her again. These long pauses were definitely something that she could do without, each second seemed an eternity as she waited for Haruka's answer. Finally, after several more agonizing seconds of quiet Haruka opened her mouth to speak, paused then with a look of determination tinged with a more than a bit of uncertainty Haruka finally spoke.
"Well, I guess we could adopt. Maybe Setsuna could help us out again. I'm not sure that we'd get approved otherwise," Haruka paused again, "all things considered that is." She included both in a vague if sweeping gesture.
"We could, but that isn't what I had in mind."
"Well," Haruka probed cautiously, "What do you have planned in that devious mind of yours?"
This time it was Ranma who paused, collecting her courage as she considered once again the options before them.
"Well, there are a couple of ways," she began tentatively, then firmed her resolve and continued. "There is a place in China that's cursed."
"Cursed?!!" Haruka interrupted.
"Yes, anyone or anything to bathe in the springs assumes the form of whatever drowned in that spring. There is a spring of the drowned boy..."
"You're NOT serious?!!." Haruka interjected, her voice rapidly rising. She looked at her lover's eyes and saw no mischief, only calm certainty. "Your are serious aren't you, I don't . . . "
"Let me finish love," Michiru broke in this time. Dammit why couldn't she let me finish, this is hard enough as it is the blue-eyed woman thought with some exasperation. "The springs are permanent, but there is a way to get a temporary curse."
"Temporary CURSE?"
"Yes, "Michiru answered softly, "but I don't think you'd have any interest in being a man." Michiru hesitated again, "and I'm not sure I could . . . could . . . "
Michiru took a deep breath, "could be with a man like that. . . even if . . . even if it was you, and I'd certainly never ask that of you." Then with a hint of her normal humor Michiru continued, "Besides I'm not sure how that would react to . . ." Michiru made a gesture as if reaching for a small object.
Haruka's relief at the last comment was easily read, though Michiru was confused as to why Haruka looked quite so relieved since the option had only been on the table for a minute or so.
"No what I was thinking was that we could go to a clinic and have one of your eggs fertilized and I could carry the baby. That way the baby would be part of both of us.
Besides Michiru teased, "I'm not sure how manly you'd look in your tux when you were eight months pregnant."
"Michiru-chan, " Haruka mock growled.
Smiling at her lover Ranma saw the relief once again. It was as if Haruka was relieved on several levels, the most obvious being that she wouldn't have to carry the child, but also as if some deeper worry had been released. What that worry might have been Ranma didn't know, but if it's disappearance made Haruka feel better she was all for it.
"Seriously love, I've checked it all out and it could be done pretty easily. The only real problem will be if Setsuna says we won't have the time free from our other duties. There's a clinic in Nerima that can do it and . . . ."
"And what?" Haruka pressed.
"Well, I've already gotten permission to use a donor's . . . seed," Michiru answered delicately. "His mother has agreed, and that way we know that we know the background on the donor and that he doesn't have any medical conditions to worry about. Ranma desperately hoped that Haruka would leave these details to her and not ask about the "father." Her lover often left what she called "the boring details" to her, and she reallllyyy hoped that this time would be no different. She really didn't want to reveal her past to Haruka. She would be devastated if she Haruka ever left her.
"Who is it?" Haruka asked, intrigued by the way her lover had already worked out the details. "Will either the father or his mother want to visit the child? After all it will sorta be her grandkid too?"
"Don't worry about that, the father is healthy and doesn't have any medical conditions we have to worry about. He'll be a fine donor." Michiru danced around the question.
"Yeah, but who is he?" Haruka pressed. "And who is she, and more importantly will she want to see the child?"
Michiru frowned, ignoring for the moment just how cute that made her look. It was obvious that Haruka had picked up on the fact that she was avoiding the question. One of the qualities that she so lover about Haruka was her determination, but right now she'd gladly trade that quality for the girls usual obliviousness.
She had really hoped that she could dance around this issue. Nodoka and Kasumi were the only ones from her "previous life" who knew of her life as Saotome Ranma, and to be honest she had not intended to ever confess to her mother. She hadn't been able to prevent herself from establishing a relationship with Nodoka once she was established in her new life. She had tried to be content with being Nodoka's "daughter" though friendship, but after being around her for the ten years "Ranma" was gone she had grown to love her mother even more than before. Shortly after Nodoka met Ranko she had taken the plunge knowing full well that the seppuku pledge might have to be fulfilled. She had revealed just who she was and why she had abandoned her life as Ranma to take up a new life as Michiru. Fortunately the years she had spent with Nodoka as Michiru visiting her "Auntie", training with her and just being herself had established a bond that Nodoka found stronger than the seppuku pledge. Nodoka had accepted her life as Michiru . . . once she had woken up from her fainting spell. She had told her mother everything, she had detailed just how horrific the problems were that "Ranma" had, and how much better her life was as Michiru. The hardest part was convincing Nodoka that paradox issues were the only reason that Michiru had not tried to have Nodoka adopt and raise her, that to have done so was to risk everything that the two had managed to build, not to mention what effect it might have on Crystal Tokyo. Ranma still wondered just how much Setsuna knew, and had spent more than one sleepless night trying to figure out how Ranma, born a boy and raised by that idiot Genma was also the reincarnation of Sailor Neptune, a woman from the Silver Millennium. Still that was an issue for another time, if she ever found an answer at all.
Musings aside she still realllly didn't want to have to answer the blond's question. Ranma had hoped, slim as that hope was, that Haruka wouldn't make the connection between her mom and the Saotome Nodoka the woman that Uranus practically worshiped as a sword goddess. She also knew her lover was aware of Saotome Ranma though Uranus's views on "Him" were not so favorable. His reputation in the martial arts community made Ranma a known figure. She knew that Haruka respected his abilities but she also new that Haruka despised the young martial artist as well believing him to be a "Player". The multiple fiancées matter had long ago soured her on "Him."
"Saotome Ranma," Ranma mumbled reluctantly, "and yes she will probably want to see the child."
"What was that?"
"Saotome Ranma." Ranma answered nearly inaudibly.
"You don't mean Playboy Saotome Ranma, son of THE Saotome Nodoka, the All Japan sword champion for 10 years running do you?!!!" Haruka practically yelled the question, drawing unwanted attention from the nearby tables. "Hell, until she quit active competition no-one could touch her."
"Ummm, Yeah." Michiru confirmed, trying to resist the urge to pound her head on the table.
"And Just How Do You Know Her?" Haruka spit each word out slowly, individually and with great precision.
Ranma winced at the icy fire in her loves voice. Maybe trying to have a child that was truly theirs had been a mistake. Maybe she should have left the dream as a dream and just gone with an unknown donor, maybe she should have let go of that dream. After all she loved Hotaru as her own, maybe the idea of an heir of her body was beyond reality. Still it was a dream she had entertained for quite some time now and she hated to let it go.
Ranma had hoped to avoid this problem, now she had to wonder just how she was going to deal with the situation without revealing that she was Ranma. She really didn't want to reveal that fact. She decided to stick with Plan A. Reveal if she must the time and relationship she had with Nodoka as Michiru. Unless Haruka found out about the Nanban mirror she shouldn't suspect the truth. So far as Haruka knew the only was to time-travel was via the Time Gates, and Haruka also knew that Pluto wouldn't let just anyone use them, certainly not someone like Saotome Ranma. Still Ranma gulped apprehensively, her biggest fears after falling in love with Haruka was that the other woman would leave her if she ever found out that she had been a "HE".
It was just that she so wanted the child to be both of theirs. What had originally been a contingency plan to deal with the Amazons had become a way for her to have a child with the woman she loved.
"I've known her since I was a child," Ranma answered softly, hoping against hope that this would satisfy Haruka.
"Since you were a kid? Did you know she was a swordswoman?" Haruka continued with the interrogation, her thoughts on a baby for the moment lost in the other issue.
"Yes I did."
"Did you ever see her practice her style?"
"Yes." Ranma answered softly, praying to whatever Kami would listen that Haruka wouldn't ask any more than that.
"Did you ever try it yourself." This time Haruka was confident that Michiru would answer in the negative, after all Michiru had never expressed an interest in the art of the sword and even her interest in Kempo seemed to be as a hobbyist at most..
Kami, why don't you ever answer my prayers? Ranma thought dejectedly. "Yes love I have."
"And."
"And what?"
"What was it like?"
"She's one of the best I've ever seen," Ranma answered truthfully.
"So how long did you train with her?" Haruka hung on to the issue with the tenacity of a bulldog.
"Haruka, Saotome Nodoka was my sensei for about five years. I stopped training under her about two years before our other duties came up, about two years before I met you," Ranma answered carefully. Every word she spoke was true, it just wasn't all of the truth.
"And you just gave it up? After five years of training with one of the best in Japan, " Haruka asked incredulously, "Why?"
Oh Kami, just let it go, once more Ranma prayed.
"No, after that time I trained with her sensei."
"You what?!!" to say that Haruka was stunned was to say that Pharaoh 90 was a bit evil, probably the understatement of the year . . . if not the decade.
"I trained with her sensei." Ranma repeated, once again mentally crying out for her love to stop asking these questions. She might as well have been praying for water to run uphill or for Usagi to stop crying when Rei teased her for all the luck she was having. Yes she had planned for this line of questioning and no she still did not expect her darkest secret to be uncovered, but she had hoped that this secret would stay hidden for at least a while longer, at least until she had figured out a way to reveal herself to Haruka. Ranma panicked as she wondered just how Haruka would react when she revealed her other martial skills, would it bring them together or would the fact that she was light years better than Uranus drive them apart?
"Why did she sent you to her sensei?"
Ranma could tell by the glazed look on Haruka's face that her tomboyish lover was overwhelmed by the entire notion, and more than a little shocked that Michiru was a student of her idol.
"Sensei Saotome said she had taught me all that she could, so she sent me to her Master to learn more."
It took a few moments for the senshi of Uranus to gather her wits about her as she stared incomprehensively at the woman she thought she knew so well.
"And you never told me this because . . .," Haruka growled.
"Sensei Saotome said that I was her only pupil outside. She told me that the only reason she trained me was because she considered me to be her daughter, if not by blood or law, by love. She also told me that she was not taking any more students until her son returned, and then she intended to teach only him. She said she had to get special permission to teach me as her Sensei's art was a family art, and I didn't want you to be disappointed." Ranma finished miserably.
Then she brightened as a thought came to mind. "Maybe if I tell her that you are my lover and that we have a child she'll teach you and our son or daughter when they are old enough."
Ranma could literally see Haruka light up at that thought, it was if a halogen floodlight had been ignited behind her lover's eyes. Then she saw the light dim a darker cloud pass over her loves face.
"Hey, wait a minute," the blond interjected thoughtfully, remembering a nugget of information, one gleaned from one of only a handful of interviews Saotome Nodoka had allowed. "Azami is supposed to be Saotome Nodoka's only student . . . ." she trailed off absently her thoughts lost for a moment as she considered what she had been told.
Ranma felt her heart rise up in her throat. Dammit she should have lied. No, Ranma quashed that thought as quickly as it arose. No she shouldn't have. There was a fine line between not telling Haruka about things her lover never asked about and lying to her face when she asked a direct question, but it was a line she did NOT intent to cross. Ranma could only hope that Haruka would see the line and understand that she had never crossed it . . . that she hoped with all her heart.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Haruka reeled from the revelations that her lover had heaped upon her tonight. It was like opening a child's book and instead of "See Spot Run" the book was a collection of Shakespeare. What at first seemed to be a simple question (if shocking and unlooked for) was now revealing secrets long held by her lover, secrets that revealed a whole new Michiru. First Michiru wanted a child, THEIR child. Then she had already picked the biological father out and it was the son of her idol Saotome Nodoka. To top it off Michiru now admitted to being a student of Saotome Nodoka. Haruka's brain was spinning with the strange news. Just how well did she know her lover? Never in a thousand years would she have expected these revelations.
Was this what Setsuna had been hinting about earlier today? Was there some reason other than the one given why Michiru had never told her about this even thought she knew how much she idolized Saotome Nodoka, and why had Pluto been so insistent that these secrets come to light now?
Hey! Wait just a minute. Haruka's brain paged her, trying to get her attention, and for a change Haruka was listening. Michiru was a student of Saotome Nodoka, Azami was a student of Saotome Nodoka, and according to all the information out in the press Saotome Nodoka the only student she had ever trained.
"You . . . You're Azami?" Haruka questioned incredulously. She didn't have to hear the answer to know the truth, the guilt, pain and (was that) fear? on her lovers face was enough to confirm the truth of the matter.
"Yes." Michiru answered softly. "My adoptive mother and father accepted the fact that I wanted to study the sword, but they forbid me from competing. They said it wasn't ladylike. I never told Sensei why I used an assumed name and she never asked. I think she knew, but as long as she wasn't certain she didn't object. It was the only way I could compete until I turned 18. By the time I turned 18 it was either keep the false identity or start over and make Azami disappear, even then it would be clear that we were using the same style and I didn't want any dishonor to go to Sensei Saotome because of my actions, so I was stuck with being Azami when I competed.
"Buy why did you hide it from me?" the hurt in Haruka's voice was as obvious as a battleship in a koi pond."
"I didn't want to. It hurts to hide things from you. But Sensei Saotome made me promise that I wouldn't teach her style to anyone other than my husband or child and that only if her sensei, Sensei Masaki also agreed. Maybe now I could ask her?"
Haruka could hear the earnestness in her lover's voice, but something still pulled at her thoughts, but not with enough force to come to the front of her mind.
"Do you forgive me Haruka?" Michiru pleaded.
Despite the turmoil that her thoughts were in Haruka had to fight back a smile. For once the shoe was on the other foot and Michiru sounded so pitiful, so lost and depressed at the thought of her displeasure. For once it wasn't her in trouble with Michiru, this time it was Michiru who was going to have to kiss and make up.
"Maybe." Haruka drawled, a catty look on her face. "Maybe you'll have to make it up to me tonight, and probably for several nights to come. After all this was a pretty big secret."
The look of relief on Michiru's face was priceless.
"Oh, I'm sure I can think of something," Michiru purred, obviously overjoyed to be even partially forgiven.
"Oh and Michiru. . . "Haruka continued.
"Yes love?"
"I'd love to have a baby with you. Just give me some time to adjust and . . . " Haruka was interrupted before she could finish when her aqua-haired lover darted around the table and with complete disregard for her normally reserved manner glomped onto her with a tenacity that even Tsukino Usagi couldn't match and kissed her with enough passion that set her blood on fire and turn her mind onto thoughts of a perverted nature.
It was several minutes before Michiru let her go, and even then the smaller woman didn't leave, but curled up on her lap with both arms around her waist and her head firmly planted in Haruka's chest.
"Michiru! We're in public."
"I don't care." Michiru pouted refusing to let go. "That was just the appetizer, just wait til I get you home." She whispered throatily into her lovers ear.
"Uhmm. Yeah," Haruka blushed as she saw the stares they were still getting from the closest tables. "I was going to finish by saying that we've got to check with Setsuna and Hotaru."
"I know love," Michiru grinned, "But I can be awfully convincing if I have a reason."
"That you can," Haruka agreed thinking back to some of their previous arguments, "But it may be a while before we can . . . ."
"I don't care if we have to wait. If we have to we will, but things have been pretty calm lately and . . .."
As if Michiru's words were a death knell to the peaceful evening their communicators went off. Their eyes met as they reached to activate their wrist communicators and Michiru reluctantly slide out of Haruka's comforting embrace, but not before giving Haruka one last passionate kiss.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sailors Uranus and Neptune arrived at the Juban Trade Mall a few minutes later, their arrival heralded by the sounds of what was probably a gas main explosion accompanied by a large fireball that lit up the night sky.
"Over there." Uranus pointed, indicating the obvious.
Neptune nodded as the pair raced off moving at speeds a cheetah would envy and with all the grace the large predator would have shown as it hurtled toward it's prey. The sounds of combat grew ever more clear and daunting as they approached. It wasn't even a minute later when the courtyard turned battleground came into view.
It was a large spacious area that had been an island of relative peace within the sprawling city. The courtyard had bright multicolored ceramic tile flooring, oasis's of greenery dotted the landscape, with benches scattered near each tree and flowerbed. A concrete fountain complete with a statue of leaping koi had provided the calming sound of running water before the battle. Now it gushed freely with the water flooding the courtyard as water sprayed from what had once been a decorative statue. The short wall around the wishing pool was also broken in several separate locations, the water filled koi pond was rapidly draining, leaving the colorful fish to flop pitifully in the pool or on the courtyard tiles. Unfortunately the fish were not the only ones to lose their life. Uranus and Neptune saw more than one still body laying amidst the wreckage. They couldn't yet tell if the civilians were alive or dead, but the unnatural stillness of some did not bode well for their future. Even if some life remained it would not linger long unless the creatures causing the problem weren't stopped and stopped soon. Death was coming scythe in hand for some, of that there was no doubt.
Elsewhere in the courtyard they saw two large creatures that would have been more in some horrific Hollywood production than in the homely scene of the now deserted mall. Both were large and hideous in appearance, both sharing some features in common like a mouth full of sharp teeth and fearsome claws, but otherwise their appearances were markedly different.
Jupiter and Mars were squared off against the slightly larger of the two foes, both Scouts looked tired but very determined. Their enemy towered over them by at least four feet, though exactly how tall he stood was difficult to determine as he fought from a semi-crouched position. Even so he, (and a male it obviously was to judge from the phallus so clearly evident due to a total lack of clothing), stood at least nine foot and was more likely ten feet tall. His skin was slick and slimy as if he was coated in thick mucous. This disgusting possibility was definitely brought to mind as the ooze was a sickening puce color, and the creature looked like a boil about to erupt. Various bumps and nodules moved underneath the skin as if they weren't firmly in place. The thing had foot long claws on each hand and its feet were wickedly clawed as well, though they were only half as long. Its eyes were large, mismatched and full of hate as it stared at the two inner senshi. When it attacked it moved with a strange hopping gait that was as deceptively quick as it was ungainly. Jupiter barely avoided the things attack as it bounded toward her with gravity defying leaps.
The Outers watched as Jupiter's attempted Supreme Thunder missed, probably due to her forced evasions. Mar's Fire Soul was one of her quicker attacks, but it didn't appear to do much damage or to even slow the monster's rampage. The senshi were obviously tired and using some of their quicker firing attacks in an attempt to hit their fast moving target. Whatever it was, it wasn't holding still long enough for their attacks to score.
The other enemy was in the midst of an attack on Sailor Mercury. It was shorter, probably only eight foot or so in height, but where the first oozed like a slug, this one was scaled and literally glistened in the light of the burning buildings. It had small scales that were mottled in green and black, bone-like protrusions stuck out in random patterns all over the creatures body, but larger spikes were located at the elbows knuckles of each fist, and looked like they would as be viscous in hand to hand combat as the claws themselves. The sex of this creature was in doubt though it too was naked. The serpentine appearance and no external genitalia made it impossible to determine its gender, if any, while in the midst of combat, not that it really matter to either of the Outers. They were here to fight and fight they would. This one moved with sinister grace flowing toward Mercury with an almost hypnotic sway to its head and torso.
Uranus paused for a heartbeat evaluating their options. She felt almost free, as this was something she could handle. There was the enemy and she was going to take him down. There wasn't any of the complications like she had back at the restaurant, this was what she lived for, protecting the others and as clichéd as it sounded, saving the world.
Uranus took a deep breath in preparation a World Shaking coming on line as she looked over at her partner to coordinate the attack. Neptune's face was as composed and serene as always, yet this time Haruka saw and recognized for the first time the look in Neptune's eyes, Neptune looked hungry as she eyed the demonic presences.
"Lets fire at the one on Jupiter and Mars, then you go help them and I'll help Mercury," Neptune suggested calmly. "Oh and love, could I borrow your sword for a minute," she finished sweetly.
Haruka stared, shrugged, nodded and handed her lover the Space sword. She shouldn't need the blade with three of them ganging up on a single monster.
"You can't use its special attacks you know," Haruka offered conversationally.
"Yes love I know, but I shouldn't need it. The magical aura around the blade should let it cut the beast and that's all I'll need," Michiru responded calmly. "If it bleeds I can kill it."
Feeling more than a little confused, at the uncharacteristically bloodthirsty answer, but still confident in her lover's skills, Haruka nodded and handed her blade over. She had no doubt that Azami could wield the blade with all the necessary skill.
Uranus watched as Michiru deftly spun the blade in both a one and two- handed grip before nodding and bounding into the fray. Though the Space Sword was not the bokken or katana that she was used to, Neptune sure looked like she could handle the blade more than adequately.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma grinned inwardly, though her face showed no trace of the emotion, only her dancing cerulean eyes betrayed her eagerness to join the combat. Finally she could cut loose with more than a fraction of her true skill. Behind her she heard her lover call out her trademark "World Shaking" as Uranus joined in mortal combat.
Moving with a grace that would be envied by both dancers and martial artists, Neptune attacked from behind as the monster closed on Mercury. This demon had no honor to be protected and she had no desire to give it any warning before attacking. Ranma saw the senshi of ice and water backpedaling desperately in order to gain more room for her own attacks, but her main focus was on her foe. Neptune gave no thought to the other senshi as she trusted Uranus with her (and their) lives. Uranus had never failed her before and she had no reason to think tonight would be any different.
Landing behind her foe she opened the dance with a lightning quick slash to the back trying to sever the creatures spine. She didn't succeed in her efforts but still opened it up with a deep and gaping wound to its back, a cut which was followed by a spinning draw cut to the creature's right arm slicing nearly to the bone. Despite the armor provided by the things scaly hide, the Space Sword cut deeply with each swing. Ducking she avoided the rapid backhand that the demon countered with and moved slightly away falling into a deceptively loose stance.
"Neptune what...?" she heard Mercury call out to her, but ignored the younger woman all eyes on the snake-demon she now faced.
"I've got it Mercury." Ranma called out in a voice fit to freeze the very air around her. "Leave this one to me and go help the others."
Then the dance began again with another quick flurry of blow, counter-blow and parries as she and the demon concentrated on each other and the deadly waltz they were engaged in, both knew that only one would walk away.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Mizuno Ami, a/k/a Sailor Mercury watched in disbelief, her jaw dropping open as she watched Neptune engage the demon in melee combat. At first she thought Uranus had decided to help her, being to busy dodging to take a close look at just who was wielding the blade so skillfully. After she cleared the engagement area though she realized that the voice was all wrong, as were the colors of the fuku worn by her ally. It wasn't Uranus wielding the Space Sword, it was Neptune, who was wielding it quite well indeed.
What was going on? Mercury hesitated, surveying the situation from behind her Mercury Visor. It appeared that Neptune had things well under control and had the full attention of the demon. She watched as the aqua-tressed Sailor moved with fluid grace on both the attack and when she defended. Shrugging, she moved over to help the other senshi, but even as she arrived and launched a Shabon Spray Freezing the demon was hit by three other attacks as Uranus, Jupiter and Mars all connected, pulverizing the demon. The Demon literally exploded in a cloud of greasy black smoke and gobbets of tainted flesh.
She met the halfway as they turned toward the single remaining foe. Jupiter looked tired, as did Mars both streaked with sweat, soot and gore. The combat had been long by their standards and the enemy much more agile than their normal foes. The slimy creature had been quick enough to avoid most of their attacks, at least until it was hit by Uranus' World Shaking. Finally wounded it gone from being nearly impossible to hit, to slow moving target, and hit it they had until it was finally destroyed.
"What's up with Neptune?" she asked quietly as she pulled the Mercury computer out automatically analyzing the situation.
"I don't know." Jupiter answered looking toward Uranus.
"Yeah what's up with Neptune."? Rei interjected, "And why is she using the Space Sword?"
Uranus looked past the Inners as she watched her lover's battle.
"Damn," Uranus muttered under her breath, "She really is Azami."
The inner senshi looked even more puzzled by Haruka's absent-minded reply.
"Azami? Who the heck is that?" Rei asked harshly as she gasped for breath.
"Azami?" Jupiter questioned, "You don't mean the swords-woman who's won the last two all Japan Sword Tournaments. . . and if Neptune is Azami, where is Michiru? What the hell is going on?!!!!"
"It looks like Michiru though I suppose the disguise field could be standard for anyone transformed as Sailor Neptune, and the Silver Millennium energies are definitely those of Sailor Neptune," Mercury chimed in. "I'm not exactly sure what we are fighting either. The energy patterns don't match any know Negaverse entities."
"Watch." Haruka answered half-heartedly, though without any concern showing on her face, "Just watch."
The three Inners turned their attention, for the moment at least, away from Uranus or Mercury and back to the confrontation. They didn't have to watch long as the battle ended with a final flurry of rapid-fire slashes by the aqua-tressed senshi. When the second demon fell, it too disappeared in an dark flash of sickly looking smoke.
Before the four senshi could approach Neptune they heard the familiar voice of their leader Sailor Moon, echoed by an uncertain Sailor Venus.
"Why is Neptune using the Space Sword?"
The newly arrived senshi spoke from just behind the watching warriors of love and justice.
"Auuuggghhh. Sailor Moon don't do that," Mars complained clutching her chest. "I hate it when Pluto sneaks up on us and you DON'T need to start doing the same."
"I'm sorry," Moon wailed, "but I want to know what is going on."
This time four pairs of eyes turned toward the still stunned Sailor Uranus.
"Just what did you mean she's Azami?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * "Girls we've got to go," Setsuna called to the youngsters watching the television.
"What's up Setsuna-mama?" Hotaru asked tearing her eyes from the love scene in front of her. She and Chibi-Usa were right in the middle of watching Titanic, for an American movie it was pretty good and she didn't really want to miss anything.
"There's been a demon attack at one of the malls. We're going to be needed to help the victims. Both of you transform and lets go."
"Is everyone okay?" Chibi-usa asked even as she reached for her transformation pen.
"Yes Small Lady, the other senshi are fine. But some of the victims aren't going to last long enough to get to the hospital unless they get some healing and fast."
"Ok Pu," "Yes mama," The pair chorused their agreement.
Three light shows and a Pluto teleport later they arrived just in time to see Neptune finish off he demon.
"Pluto," Hotaru questioned softly, "Why is Michiru-mama using Papa's Space Sword?"
Saturn directed her question to Sailor Pluto, but kept her eyes on her friend, a friend who didn't appear shocked at what she saw. Hotaru reaffirmed her desire to get Chibi-usa back into her room and give her a grilling she'd remember all the way to Crystal Tokyo.
"That is Michiru-mama isn't it?" she continued.
"Yes love it is," Pluto answered with a nearly invisible smile. "It is indeed."
* * * * * * * * * * * * Ranma held her stance for a moment as the demon's dark aura dissipated, then relaxed. She turned to check on the other fight, and was unsurprised to see that it too was over.
To be honest she was somewhat disappointed that she wasn't going to be able to "work out" a bit more, but quickly quashed that thought when she observed the dazed expressions on her comrades' faces.
Ranma tried, and mostly succeeded in stifling the giggle that threatened to overcome her. She never giggled as Ranma, and still occasionally found it strange to do so now. Her second childhood and the skills gained as Michiru helped her contain herself and it was with a serene expression on her face that she glided over to her friends.
"You should really close your mouths you know," she began calmly, humor showing only in her eyes. "You'll catch flies if you don't."
"Very funny," Haruka intoned solemnly.
"Just who are you?" Rei interjected, "Are you Azami?" she finished softly, yet with fire in her voice.
"Why Uranus, you've been telling stories already I see," Ranma answered with a flirtatious look at her lover as she returned the Space Sword, a looked that she finalized by placing a deep scotching kiss on Uranus's lips. Turning toward the others she couldn't suppress one final smile, "Hi, I'm Sailor Neptune, sorry about this."
Ranma would've continued but she was interrupted by the arrival of Pluto, Saturn and Chibi-Moon.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"We'll talk later," Pluto interrupted, "But for now we need to see to the victims."
Chastened by Pluto's words the senshi quickly turned away from Neptune and began examining the bodies laying haphazardly around the courtyard. With the experience (unfortunately) gained from many prior battles they began the triage. Mercury, Jupiter and Mars quickly checked the injured, calling either Saturn or Moon over to those whose injuries were life threatening, and performing first aid on those less seriously hurt. Pluto, Neptune and Uranus gently laid out the bodies of those who were beyond any help, even the magical help of Moon and Saturn. Moving with sad reverence, they lined up those who had gone on to meet their ancestors, arranging them in a row that was much longer than they would've like to have seen.
The final tally was six dead, a dozen more needing prompt medical attention even after being healed by Saturn and/or Sailor Moon, and another half dozen with only superficial injuries. The wail of sirens growing rapidly closer gave evidence that welcome help was on its way. When the last casualty was loaded on the ambulances they left. There were more than enough witnesses to the events to fill the police in on what had occurred.
Usually, Sailor Moon appeared to have the last word. With a stern look at the Outer Senshi, Sailors Uranus and Neptune in particular she issued her orders in an uncharacteristically stern voice, once again showing a flash of the Queen that she will be and not the schoolgirl she was.
"The shrine, tomorrow, three o'clock after school, be there,"
"I can't." Michiru responded, "I've . . . ."
"That's alright Neptune," Pluto interjected as she gave a warning glance Sailor Moons direction. "Haruka can fill you in on what we discuss."
"But Pluto," several of the others interjected, "We want to know . . . ."
"I said it will be alright for her to take care of her business elsewhere. You've all missed a meeting or two and we should have time to talk on Sunday."
Sailor Moon studied Uranus, Neptune, Saturn, Pluto and Chibi-Usa for a few moments before responding. They were the ones most likely to know what was going on with Neptune. She might not be Queen Serenity yet, nor a mother, but she could see that Chibi-Usa was hiding something. She could also see the same closed expression on both Uranus and Saturn's faces as well. They too knew something. As usual Neptune and Pluto were inscrutable, their faces giving nothing away, at least nothing that the two enigmatic senshi didn't want to give away.
"If we must Pluto," Moon answered firmly, once again showing what wasn't yet but would be someday, "But I expect answers then, and answers I will have."
The cool smile on Pluto's face provided no comfort, but the expectant look in her normally unreadable eyes showed respect and perhaps the knowledge that she would have to answer to her future queen, at least in this instance.
6. Ch 6 Demons and Conversations Oh my
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
Forever the Tomboy Ch. 6 --- Demons and Conversations Oh My
"Wow, that was fun," Ranma chirped happily as she walked with Haruka back toward their vehicle. "I haven't had a chance to cut loose like that in a while."
"Yeah," Haruka grunted noncommittally, apparently lost in her own thoughts.
For once semi-oblivious to her partner's mood, and still on an adrenaline high Ranma continued speaking. "I mean that thing wasn't really a challenge, but it was fast and could take quite a bit of damage."
"Yeah, so could the one we were fighting," again Haruka answered more than a little listlessly.
"You know, I'm torn between hoping that was just an isolated instance and between hoping we see some more." Ranma paused for a moment, lost in her recollection of the fight just past, before continuing somewhat more somberly. This time a hint of sadness touched her dulcet tones. "Though I wish we didn't have to worry about civilians. Why can't any of our enemies just show up and fight us before they go after people who can't defend themselves."
Though the question was mostly rhetorical Ranma asked it anyway. The adrenaline rush from the fight was still strong and Ranma was nearly dancing as she swayed seductively down the street. The blue haired woman was firmly and possessively clamped onto Haruka's right arm, enjoying the physical contact with the much taller woman, and quite frankly looking forward to contact of a much more intimate nature soon. It had always been that way for her, fighting made her feel more "alive" than virtually anything else. The only other things that held even a candle to the "rush" that fighting brought were playing her violin and playing her lover, and despite how much her skill with the violin meant to her, of the two she much preferred the instrument that was her lovers body. Oh how she loved to make Haruka sing. True the senshi of Uranus couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, heck her singing could make a tone deaf dog howl, but that certainly wasn't the kind of singing that she had in mind anyway. Ranma felt a full body blush coming on as she considered just how vocal Haruka could be when in the throes of passion, and as Ranma could personally attest . . . a woman certainly knew how to best please another woman.
"I don't know Michiru," Haruka responded, "Those things were disgusting, not to mention a lot more deadly than the youma, or other Negaverse abominations that we've run into before."
"Yeah," Ranma agreed, "but I don't think those were from the Negaverse. They felt . . . evil, truly evil. I think those might have been real demons." Ranma finished her sentence only half aware that she spoke aloud, her mind on things long past and evils she had vanquished before.
"Demons?!! What makes you think that?" Haruka exclaimed.
"Shit." Ranma thought, startled as her lover responded to words that she hadn't realized she had spoken aloud. How was she going to explain this? Ranma cursed her careless tongue as she pondered her reply. She was really going to have to watch her mouth. It was like part of the old Ranma had risen from the grave, called forth by her visit to Nerima to haunt her again. One thing was perfectly clear to the senshi of Neptune, she definitely didn't need her old "foot in mouth" problems to come back and trouble her new life. She was going to have to regain control over that most dangerous of organs and do so quickly.
"Did I say that out loud?" Ranma asked, but didn't wait for a reply before answering her own question. "I must have or you wouldn't have answered it."
Neptune took a moment to collect her thoughts. Damn, she was going to have to be careful here or she was going to end up spilling her guts to Haruka. While part of her really wanted to come clean, the vast majority of her didn't want to risk losing the blond tomboy. Just how would Haruka react to finding out about her true past . . . she didn't know and she was more than a little afraid of the probable answer to that question.
"Uhmmmm, would you believe I've run into a demon before?" she asked hesitantly, looking up into her lover's face.
"And just when was that?" Haruka asked none to gently.
"It was before Setsuna contacted me. Someone had a grudge against me and called a minor demon to show me the error of my ways," Ranma responded. "It was a really tough fight but I managed to fight it off."
The aqua tressed woman hid a smirk at her reply. What she said was true, it just wasn't quite all the truth. Indeed it left quite a bit out, and what was said contained more than a bit of misdirection. She didn't divulge the fact that Happosai had sent the demon after her boy side in retribution for "his" stopping the old lech during several of his panty raids and for refusing to let the geezer grope her girl side.
"And how did you do that?"
Ranma's inner smirk died a quick, but nonetheless painful death. It seemed that Haruka was still mad about her keeping secrets, if the icy tone of her question was to be believed. Not that she blamed the other woman, she'd probably be a bit steamed if the reverse were true, but she loved her tomboy so much that she was sure that she'd get over it . . . eventually. She'd managed to quell her jealousy over Haruka's prior lovers after all, true it had been, and often still was a struggle to do so, but she had . . . mostly . . . managed it. She just hoped Haruka could do the same and forgive her as well. Giving a small sigh Ranma realized that she finally knew how the "fiancé brigade" had felt when they saw "boy-Ranma" showing affection toward one of the other girls. Now she could only hope that Haruka's feelings were just as strong for her as hers were for the senshi of Uranus.
The silence grew even colder as Ranma searched for a "relatively" safe answer.
"Well, I'd been training for several years by then and managed to fight it off."
Once again the reply was true, so far as it went. He had managed to fight it off, but it was with the skills Genma had taught him, not the sword skills learned from her mother years later. Hopefully though, Haruka would assume it was "Azami" that was able to fend off a monster from hell and not pursue the matter further.
To her relief that seemed to be her lover's belief as the tuxedo clad woman asked no further questions. Unfortunately Haruka's silence indicated that this newest revelation had apparently brought Haruka's mind back to her initial issue, back to the "distrust" that Ranma had shown by keeping such a big secret.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Haruka?"
The blond in question glanced down at her shorter companion, the still tentative note in her lover's voice drawing her gaze. She was still stunned by the series of revelations that had come to light this night. What had started out as just another night out with her soul mate had taken a surrealistic turn, she half expected to hear Rod Sterling's voice speaking in the background, and Haruka didn't like that one little bit. The evening had taken her places she never dreamed she'd be and shown her things about her lover that she had never even suspected, not in her wildest imaginings would she have considered Michiru to be a world-class swordswoman, and it showed just how little she really knew about the blue- eyed woman's past. It also revived doubts in her mind as to the strength of their relationship. What other skeletons were in Michiru's past, what other disclosures were coming, and what would they do to their relationship? She had, in the past, been content to let the past stay in the past. Haruka knew that Michiru had a rather odd relationship with her adopted parents. There was love there true, but it was a distant kind of love more like polite respect than the love you would expect between a child and her parents.
There had always been hints of that, but Haruka had respected Michiru's privacy. What business was it really of hers that her lover and her parents were cool toward each other. Haruka knew Michiru was adopted. Michiru had confided in her that she often felt that her parents had adopted her as a "show-piece." They felt that having a daughter would be beneficial to them in their business to show the "completeness" of their family. They had taken great care to see that she was well educated and a "model child". They took pride in her musical accomplishments, after all having a prodigy only enhanced their own accomplishments in raising such a fine child, and gave them something to brag about to those they did business with.
Haruka also knew that they were less than pleased with Michiru's "leanings" in love. The few times she had met with them they had been pleasant, but cool in manner. At first Haruka thought that they were just naturally reserved, after all that was how Michiru herself appeared. There was little that could break through the façade she presented to the world. Yet, there was more to their reactions and Haruka had felt . . . unwelcome and uncomfortable in their presence. They had never done anything overtly insulting, but they had never really warmed up to her either. In the past she'd always shrugged it off. After all that was not an uncommon reaction on the part of her previous lover's parents so she had always assumed this was more of the same.
Still though, they hadn't disowned Michiru, they still provided her with a good income, and the trust set up in her name was enough to allow her to live in style without any worries so long as they didn't just blow the money, and as far as Haruka knew Michiru still stood to inherit a rather large fortune when they passed on. Haruka was pulled from her musings once again when Michiru spoke again.
"Haruka?"
"Yes, Michiru."
"You aren't mad at me are you?"
Haruka fought and beat, though it was a tough fight, a case of the giggles as they walked back to her waiting car. The plaintive, somewhat fearful, tone in her lover's voice pulled her back to the present, well that and the iron grip that Michiru had taken on her arm. Michiru's hold could be compared to that of a starfish clinging to an oyster shell . . . nearly unbreakable. This opportunity was just to good to pass up. She had Michiru just where she wanted her, well almost, where she actually wanted the sensuous woman was in bed, but this would do for now, and she was going to take full advantage of it. Tonight was going to be sooooo much fun.
"I'm afraid I am still a little upset," the tuxedo clad woman answered softly.
They were back in their "civilian" togs having transformed out of their senshi uniforms and into the formal evening wear that they had started the evening with. The night was lovely, the temperature crisp without being cold, the stars were scattered throughout the night sky. While the lights of Tokyo, concealed many of the dimmer stars, the ones that were out sparkled like diamonds against a black velvet sky, all in all a very romantic setting. Despite her lingering feelings of fear laced with some resentment that Michiru had concealed important parts of her background from her, Haruka fully intended to take advantage of her lover, errr the romantic situation that they were in.
She did however intend to make her "normally calm and in control" partner squirm some first, and it was realllyyyy a lot of fun when she had Michiru squirming. Haruka's mind quickly devolved into a series of rather pornographic and explicit series of scenes as she considered her options.
It really was a nice change to have Michiru feeling the need to make amends, to apologize and to seek forgiveness. Normally she was the one who messed up. Normally it was Michiru who teased and tormented HER for some word or deed that she had done (often completely unintentionally) and Michiru who put her through Hell until she was forgiven, but not this time.
Yes it did annoy the daylights out of her that Michiru had hidden her skills with the sword, and it frustrated her even more that Michiru knew her idol Saotome Nodoka and had never even bothered to let her know. Hell, from the way her lover referred to her sensei Nodoka was practically a second mother to her . . . and probably closer to her emotionally than her own parents were, and for whatever reason or reasons, Michiru hadn't even introduced them.
"Haruka, I'm sorry,"
Haruka's mind was pulled from her musings at the pleading tone and repeated apologies offered by her lover. In fact the senshi of Uranus felt a little bit of guilt at her lack of response. Michiru was obviously worried, and maybe even frightened that she wouldn't be forgiven. Haruka knew that wasn't the case, and though she knew what it felt like to be on the wrong end of one of their tiffs, Haruka was somewhat annoyed that Michiru would think that something like this would break them up. Didn't Michiru know just how much she loved her, or was there something deeper fueling the fear and worry that the normally impassive was so uncharacteristically showing. If Michiru had concealed this facet of her life was there still more hidden in the depths of her past, still more that might come between them and cause a rift that couldn't be healed so easily?
"I believe you Mi-chan. It's just that a lot has happened tonight. I'm still trying to get a handle on all of this."
"I am sorry Haruka. I wanted to tell you but . . ." Michiru trailed off. "I was just afraid you'd be really mad at me and . . ."
Haruka had finally had enough teasing, was one thing, but Michiru was obviously in real pain. She turned to the smaller woman and pulled her into a hug. Michiru responded with another Usagi-like glomp, pressing every inch of her smaller body against that of the taller woman. Michiru was holding her as if she was afraid that Haruka would disappear from her life and never return. To her surprise Haruka felt Michiru shaking as she fought back tears, trying to suppress her sobs as they held each other close.
"I'm sorry, I'm soo sorry," Michiru wailed, her voice filled with panic.
Amazement filled her as Haruka wondered at the strength of this fear . . . and it made her wonder still again why Michiru seemed so afraid, so insecure. It just wasn't like her to show such extreme emotion, to show such need.
"I know you are," Haruka held Michiru tightly stroking her lovers back reassuringly, ignoring the looks of the few pedestrians walking nearby. "It'll be alright. I just need some time to get used to the idea that you can fight like that. Hell it's going to take a lot of time to get used to the idea that you can outfight me, at least with a sword in your hands."
To her surprise this didn't seem to help as Michiru clung even more tightly to her, (if that were even possible), wailing even louder and burrowing deeper into the embrace. Haruka grunted and had to wonder at just how strong her lover was. As Michiru's grip tightened her ability to breath was diminished. In fact if Michiru didn't let up soon she was going to pass out!
Haruka leaned down and placed a light kiss on the top of her lover's head, taking a moment to savor the sweet fragrance of the bluish hair and the womanly scent of her lover's body.
"Of course you are going to have to show me just how sorry you are and how much you want my forgiveness," Haruka crooned, her voice definitely taking on a sultry tone.
"Anything, anything you want to do tonight," Michiru responded softly. "I love you so much, I'm just afraid you won't love me if . . ."
"Michiru. That's enough." Haruka growled interrupting the desperate rant. "I love you and Nothing is going to change that. Though if you keep questioning my love I might get a little upset."
She was relieved to see the panic draining from Michiru's expressive blue eyes as she finally looked up, and even more relieved to feel her lover relax the death grip she had around her waist.
"Nothing . . . ?" Michiru breathed softly, yet with growing hope.
"Nothing." Haruka affirmed.
Uranus heard Michiru mutter something, but the smaller woman's voice was so soft that even their close proximity didn't allow her to hear the words.
"So are we going dancing or not?" Haruka questioned, trying to get Michiru's mind off her fears for the moment as they continued to walk back to her car.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Dancing? No I think I'd rather do something else with the rest of the evening," Ranma responded with a feeling of relief. "Why don't we just go home?"
"Home" a word that meant so much to her, a word that she had felt might be slipping away. If Haruka left she would still have her house, that was hers and no-none could take it away, but she wouldn't have her home, and that was more important than any building, no matter how nice it was.
Ranma was mentally exhausted and probably looked like a wreck. She could see traces of her make-up on Haruka's tuxedo, and could feel the dampness in the fabric where her tears had soaked the garment. Tears, she had cried like a woman who feared she was being rejected, Saotome Ranma had cried, and surprisingly enough was not ashamed of that fact. In this life she still sought control over herself and her environment, she was normally self contained and strong, but she had also learned that there were times when tears helped, when it was alright to cry, something that HE had never known or learned as Ranma.
She had been worried that Haruka was still mad at her, and to be truthful the other woman probably was, but apparently she wasn't going to hold a grudge over it. Ranma's heart sang as she considered Haruka's words. "Nothing" just the sound and the certainty in Haruka's voice made her feel safe and warm. An overstatement it might be, but it at least provided her with hope for the future. Certain fears remained, what would Haruka say if she ever found out she had been a boy. A shudder rippled once again though her small frame as she considered that possibility, but instead of worrying she clung to the word. "Nothing" it was strange how just that word comforted her, it might prove false, but that too was in the future, a future she would hopefully never have to experience. Ranma had already put together a story covering her martial arts abilities, it was even true (if again misleading) and she desperately hoped the story would hold together so she could keep her last (and darkest) secrets from her lover.
Nonetheless, Ranma could expect tonight to be interesting and she wondered what games Haruka was going to want to play tonight and just how hentai Haruka would get. It still surprised her how much she enjoyed some of the role-playing Haruka had introduced her to. Maybe they'd try "samurai-ko and the maiden" Haruka always liked that one. Ranma had finally grown to accept, (and even to kinda enjoy) some of the "tools and toys" Haruka liked, though they still made her uncomfortable at times . . . yet she had promised to do whatever Haruka wanted tonight. One thing that hadn't changed was that Ranma always kept her word, as Michiru, she had just learned to give her word sparingly, and only after considering the consequences.
Ranma did however, have a feeling that once this weekend was over and other matters settled, that they were going to be making a trip over to mama Nodoka's house. She seriously doubted that Haruka would wait longer than Monday to finally meet her idol. That was okay with her though, especially now that mama knew that there might be a grandchild in the works soon. Ranma blushed, that was one conversation that had been, well . . . interesting to say the least. The look on Nodoka's face had been priceless when she had asked her permission to use Ranma's "seed" to have a baby with her lover Haruka. The shock on mama's face that she was not only willing to bear a child, but was anxious to do so, was something she'd never forget. The radiant glow that followed when Nodoka had ever so enthusiastically agreed would never fade from her mind either. Ranma's inner smile dimmed a bit though as she considered what her mother and father might have to say on this matter. She loved them, but she always felt more like a "show-piece" than their real daughter, a feeling that started when they allowed her to be raised by hirelings like her nanny Harisigo Toyo and her tutors instead of raising her themselves. It didn't help that they were always gone, always traveling the world as they handled business concerns that literally spanned the globe. They loved her yes, but it was indeed a distant and often superficial feeling love.
Her "real" mama, Nodoka, had initially had problems with her "daughter's" preferences in lovers, but she had never directly interfered. Undoubtedly Nodoka felt that was her adopted mother's place and affected the honor of the Kaiou Clan and not the Saotome Clan.
The older woman had even stopped . . . well mostly stopped trying to set her up with "nice young men" to show her "what being a woman was really about" once she knew just how much she loved Haruka. Nodoka had to stop hinting that her son Ranma might soon be available (if things in Nerima didn't work out) once Nodoka found out she was Ranma. Yes, her revelation on that issue a few months back had definitely put a stop to those conversations.
Ranma knew she would always cherish the expression on her momma's face when she thought about grandchildren. Ranma shuddered as she recalled the much less pleased glower she had received when she told her momma about Hotaru. Not that Nodoka had been upset that she'd adopted the child, no what she had been upset about was the fact that Ranma hadn't brought her over long before. Nodoka wanted grandchildren for her to spoil, even now her mama suffered from the long years that Genma had caused her to lose with her own child. Nodoka didn't want to lose even a minute of the time she had with her grandkids. That omission would have to be rectified very soon, she just hoped that Haruka and Hotaru would survive the experience. Her mama could be nearly as overwhelming as a tsunami when she got going, something that those seeing only her "public face" had a hard time believing.
Finally reaching the car Ranma pulled her lover down into a scorching kiss before getting into the high-performance sports car.
"That's just a warm-up," she grinned, leaving Haruka standing stunned outside the vehicle with a goofy grin on her face.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Now in civilian dress seven young girls and a much older woman (though Setsuna's looks certainly belied her true age) watched as Uranus and Neptune, (now Haruka and Michiru) walked away from the rest of the senshi.
"Well that was certainly interesting," Makoto was the first to speak. "Just what the heck is going on?"
"I don't know," was the general chorus that answered her question.
"How in the world did Neptune get so good with a sword?" Rei mused, with the same negative reply as the only response.
"Girls. I got some rather interesting readings today," Ami interrupted ignoring as usual the antics of her friends.
"What about Neptune? Did you get anything on her?" Makoto pressed anxiously. While the Outers were sometimes hard to deal with things had gotten better, much better over the last year or so. They still weren't as close to her as the Inners, but they had become friends, and Makoto was concerned. Just what had Haruka meant when she called Neptune Azami, and why wasn't Pluto been concerned.
Admittedly it was hard to read Setsuna, but the green-haired woman hadn't even raised an eyebrow at the skills shown by Neptune today. It was possible that Pluto hadn't seen the confrontation, but she HAD been there when Neptune returned the Space Sword.
"I don't know anything with certainty Makoto," Ami replied. "I can tell you that her energy signature was pure Silver Millennium and matched the readings that I already have on Michiru as Neptune. In addition Haruka didn't appear to be upset, only surprised."
"Yeah, I noticed that too," Rei agreed. "Though I'd say she was shocked out of her mind instead of just surprised. Especially given how close those two are . . . " The senshi of Mars repressed a shiver as she continued.
Yes Haruka and Michiru were friends, sometimes-distant friends, but friends and comrades nonetheless. There were occasions though when they made her feel something that she didn't want to consider possible or even really think of. The way they carried on, and the sultry looks they gave each other could almost light a fire, and she occasionally feared she might be flammable.
It wasn't so much that they were together, it was just how open they often were with their love . . . or even the looks that Haruka sometimes gave the others during the meetings. The tall blond would from time to time appraise them as if they were "of interest" to her, and if to her did that mean Michiru as well? Rei didn't know why, but for some reason the idea that Michiru might be interested in her frightened and yet intrigued her more than Haruka's open flaunting of her "bent".
Rei knew that Uranus was teasing not really expecting anything from the others. Haruka knew as well as anyone just how "boy-hungry" all of the inners were . . . well all but Ami. Not that Ami shared their leaning, it was just that Ami was really shy and not nearly so open with her desire to find a boy. Yes Haruka definitely knew how boy hungry Venus and Jupiter were, Rei still remembered how Haruka had flirted with both of them before they discovered she was a girl. She had made quite a handsome boy after all. That didn't change the fact though that the senshi of Mars sometimes wondered just what would happen if she (or one of the others) ever did flirt back. The idea both intrigued and repelled her at the same time. Given just how possessive Michiru was though she never expected to find out . . . not that she really wanted to, Rei quickly assured herself., so the thought had stayed right there, a thought that she avoided thinking about whenever possible.
It didn't escape Rei's notice though that the quiet senshi of Neptune often looked both attracted and yet somehow embarrassed when she was around the other senshi during the transformations. Rei had noticed the blue-eyed Neptune turning guiltily away from the others, and given her predilections Rei wondered about that.
". . . as close as they are."
"You mean they're lovers don't you," Minako butted in.
"Uhmm, yeah," Rei responded uncomfortably.
Minako smiled secretively; sometimes it was just too easy to tease Mars.
"You'd think that if something happened to Michiru that Haruka would've told us," the senshi of love continued.
"Well, yeah I do," Rei responded. "Unless Pluto told her not to."
"There is that," the others agreed.
"Now what makes you think she's not Michiru?" a cool voice interjected from just behind the Sailor of Venus."
"Eeekkkk," Minako screeched. "Don't do that! You know . . ."
"It isn't so funny when she does it to you is it?" Usagi laughed as she watched Minako try to climb a nearby street light.
Minako harrumphed as her face fell into a cute pout.
"I wouldn't worry about it," Pluto continued. "That WAS Michiru, and she was more herself than she's been in years." Setsuna continued calmly, her eyes on Hotaru as she tried to convey without words the message that all would be fine.
The violet eyed stare that Setsuna received in return told her that young Saturn was not pleased and was likely going to try to pry the information from her as soon as possible and she might use the Silence Glaive as the crowbar.
"What do you mean?" came the chorus from the inner senshi, Ami excluded as the senshi of Mercury contented herself with an inquiring look and an arched eyebrow.
"That . . .," Pluto began then paused for effect, "is a secret."
"I hate you," Rei stated flatly, after she pulled herself up from a face- fault, only to be echoed by the others, again excluding Mercury who simply took this as another of Setsuna's quirks.
"Don't worry things will become clearer shortly," Pluto advised. "You should be more concerned about the new enemy. This enemy is like no one you've faced before and very likely the toughest enemy you've had, but enough of that, we all need to get home. It is going to be a long day tomorrow, and this can wait until then.
"Why is it that every new enemy is "like no one we've ever faced before" and is going to be "our toughest fight ever? Why can't we ever find an enemy that's stupid and weak?" Tsukino Usagi muttered dejectedly as she and the other senshi split up and headed home.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Setsuna-mama, we need to talk," Hotaru squared off against the enigmatic woman she called mama.
"Oh, and what makes you think I have anything to say right now?" Pluto answered coolly.
"Because you know something, and I want to know what that is." Hotaru answered, determination flashing somewhere deep in her violet eyes. "I'm worried about Michiru-mama and you know at least some of what is going on."
"Why do you say that?"
"Don't patronize me mama!" Hotaru fired back. "You said mama is more Michiru than she's been in a long time. That means you know something."
Chibi-Usa watched the exchange with eyes grew ever wider with each exchange. She knew that her friend must be really upset to press Pluto so hard. Usually the girl was quiet and nearly passive in her relations with other, especially others she loved or respected, but tonight she was taking Setsuna on with no hesitation, and no surrender evident in her expressive eyes.
Setsuna met Hotaru's angry gaze with an icy calm one of her own, and called upon her long years of life to do so unflinchingly. It also helped to know that Hotaru was a gentle soul who wouldn't abuse the earth shattering power that was hers to control.
"What is going on?" Hotaru pressed.
"You know that I can't tell you everything,"
"I know that Setsuna-mama. I've had that conversation with . . . "Hotaru paused and turned her gimlet glare from Pluto to Chibi-Usa. "Freeze Usa, you're not getting out of this either."
"Eeeppp," Chibi-Usa froze as ordered, caught as she tried to sneak upstairs, guilt clear on her face as she blushed with embarrassment.
"I want both of you to sit down and tell me what you know."
Setsuna rubbed her temples striving to fight off the headache that she knew was coming. "Hotaru you know that it can be dangerous to give out information that will affect the time-line," Setsuna answered wearily. "It's not worth the risk . . ."
"Setsuna-mama, I'm worried about Michiru-mama. It's been really weird today. We went to Nerima and she knew her way around like she'd grown up there. Then on top of that she was hugging and kissing a really pretty girl, and saying she'd missed her so much."
Hotaru knew she was probably over-emphasizing what had happened with Kasumi. Yeah, the hugging part was true and so was the conversation, but the kisses were just on the cheek. Still the young senshi decided, if overplaying what happened a bit would get Setsuna to talk then by kami she was going to "overplay" if it helped get answers.
"Then we saw her using the Space Sword like she was some kind of master samurai . . . and all you say is, "She's more Michiru than she's been in a long time," Hotaru finished with a rather good, if sarcastic, imitation of Pluto's usual tone.
"Yes that does pretty well describe what happened today doesn't it," the crimson-eyed woman responded calmly.
Ignoring Pluto's calm answer Hotaru rounded on Chibi-Usa.
"You know something to don't you?" Hotaru ran over Usa's attempted reply as she continued. "And don't give me any guff about "All the scouts are my sensei either," she finished with a rather imperious tone.
"But . . . "
"Don't 'but' me Usa, you know something and it's time to tell me." Hotaru felt tears welling up in her violet eyes as the anger began to ebb.
"I'm scared, Michiru IS my mama and something's going on. I just want to know if she's going to be okay," what started out as an angry impassioned speech, ended with a wail of near utter anguish.
Chibi-Usa felt her resolve to hold firm wavering as she considered the pain her best friend, and eventual co-wife, was going through.
"Hotaru, I . . . "
"That's enough!" Setsuna interrupted before the neo-princess could say anything further. "Matters are going to come to a head in the next couple of days. How they turn out is going to have a major impact on Crystal Tokyo."
Turning away from Chibi-Usa the enigmatic Senshi of Pluto turned her attention to Hotaru. "My future self has told me that the what happens next is going to be very important . . . and that we all have to be very careful. She also told me that we are going to need to show Michiru that we love her and support her."
"But mama knows we love her doesn't she?" Hotaru interrupted. "She's always so strong and takes care of me and Haruka-papa."
"Yes, Michiru is a strong woman," Pluto agreed, "but according to me, my future self that is, she might break, there is a lot that she's been hiding and if Haruka rejects her then all hell is going to break loose."
"You don't really think that could happen do you?" Chibi-Usa queried. "I mean they're still together . . . "
"No, I don't think that is likely, but it could happen. I don't know WHY Michiru is so worried. I don't know why she has been hiding her skills, I don't know why I'm worried about your mama and papa, I'm sure they love each other, nor am I sure what is going on in Nerima, but I do know I was worried. I also know that I told myself to meet me at the Time Gates tomorrow afternoon as soon as the meeting at the Shrine is over, so I expect that I'll know more then. I just don't know yet how much I can tell anyone."
Setsuna paused as she carefully considered her next words. "I also told myself to go to a Saotome Nodoka's house tomorrow morning, and then to the Masaki shrine tomorrow afternoon to see something. I can take you with me Hotaru, but we've got to be careful. I gave strict instructions to myself that we aren't to be seen, nor are we to interfere with what is going on."
"I just hope to Kami that I know what I'm doing, I hate it when I can't even tell myself what to expect," Setsuna muttered to herself, the words to faint to be heard by her audience of two.
Crimson eyes locked onto and held violet eyes shimmering with tears as she continued. "Will you promise me that no matter what we see or hear that you will obey my commands and not interfere?"
Hotaru paused, even more worried than she was a few moments ago. She was surprised and somewhat elated that she was getting even this much, but the seriousness of her second mama's words and the implacable tone of her voice worried her as well. The senshi of Saturn could read Pluto better than most, and what she was seeing mirrored her own feelings. Pluto was worried . . . and that scared her.
"Yes mama, I promise," she whispered. "I won't interfere."
"Good, then we'll find out more tomorrow, and don't worry if it wasn't going to turn out okay I'd be telling myself more than this. Now off to bed you go, both of you."
Setsuna watched as the girls nodded their agreement and headed upstairs. After they were safely upstairs Pluto let her calm façade drop. What she had said was true, if things were going to go sour she'd have told herself more . . . she just hoped that it was going to be more than Crystal Tokyo survived this latest crisis . . . she desperately hoped that it was her family that was going to be okay. Setsuna knew that in a lot of ways she and Michiru were alike, they both hid their fears behind a mask and showed the world only what the world needed to see. What she didn't know was why things were coming to a head.
Yes, there was a new enemy and she knew that Michiru's skills were going to be critical in fighting this enemy. She shuddered at the thought of who they were going to be facing and the forces upon which she could call. They weren't going to be fighting the Negaverse this time . . . no they were going to be fighting the forces of Hell itself.
Pluto knew that Michiru was an accomplished martial artist, but she didn't know why Neptune had hidden her abilities for so long. There had been many a time when those skills would've come in very handy, and Michiru had the gift of teaching, she'd seen that on more than one occasion when Neptune had taught others the violin and she had no reason to doubt that Michiru would be able to pass along her fighting skills as well. Still there was much that troubled her. Pluto had watched all of the senshi growing up. She'd seen Michiru take to the martial arts with an intensity that was almost inhuman, she'd seen the young girl begin her training while still in the orphanage and even then at the age of six she'd shown skills more suited to a master, or maybe even a grandmaster. It was a puzzle that had plagued her for years, and frustrated her for even more as Michiru's past before the age of six had been blocked. The time gates refused to show her anything of Michiru's life before then . . . and the most frustrating thing of all was that the hand blocking her was her own.
7. Ch 7 Searching for Answers
See Chapter 1 for disclaimer
Finally the Tomboy – Chapter 7 --- Searching for Answers
The room was unimpressive, simply that of a normal sixteen year old girl. It was well lit with brightly colored walls, feminine accoutrements lying neatly about. Various posters were hanging on the walls. The subjects portrayed in some of the posters were a bit out of the ordinary however. Mingled with the usual offerings of the latest idols, were ones of Einstein, Fermi and Sagan. The wide variety of subjects for the posters either showed a girl with wide ranging tastes, or one whose friends were trying to get her to open up a bit more with their choice of gifts.
The girl sitting at the small desk didn't look extraordinary either, she was simply a cute young girl dressed in sensible blue cotton pajamas. Her physical appearance was unremarkable, she had short hair was cut in a manner that was currently popular, the color was a little unusual in that it had a bluish tint to it, not common, but not that remarkable either here in Japan. Her hair was styled and neatly kept, pretty, but also easy to maintain. All in all the effect gave the impression of an normal girl, cute as a button, but neither homely nor strikingly pretty . . . in other words average.
However, the girl sitting ever so still at her desk, lived a life that was far from being that of a "typical" teenager, even allowing for the strangeness of the Juban and Nerima Wards. Mizuno Ami had long been set apart from other kids by the sheer depth and breadth of her intelligence. She was perhaps the smartest high school student in Japan and one of the brightest lights in the intellectual world as a whole. This would be enough to made her stand out in a crowd, and if she had perhaps just a bit less luck in her life, it likely would have resulted in her being a social outcast. Fortunately for her, Ami was not alone. She had friends who were there for her no matter what happened in her life, friends who had proven their loyalty in ways that only combat veterans could really understand.
In return for their friendship and loyalty Mizuno Ami placed the awesome weapon that was her mind at their disposal. No one and nothing would be allowed to harm those that she considered her friends if she could prevent it. As a result of this bond Ami used her mind to solve their shared problems. She wielded her intellect like a razor-edged sword and in her hands it was a weapon far more deadly to her foes than a physical blade. More than one of their enemies had found this out to their great displeasure and sorrow.
Ami's face was a mask of intense concentration, an expression her friends and acquaintances knew intimately. Mizuno Ami was deep into one of her favorite past-times, and unlike most other girls her age this passion wasn't boys, music or manga. No, what drew her focus this night was something a bit more . . . unusual to say the least. The sometimes "normal" teenager and sometimes Senshi was in the midst of a quest, a crusade to solve a mystery that had been presented to her on a silver platter this very evening, and if there was one thing that the girl both loved and hated . . . it was a mystery. The raven-tressed girl felt an almost instinctual need to solve problems, a need that at times bordered on obsession. Right now she had quite the knotty problem to work on. Actually a pair of problems, one concerned Sailor Neptune, the other the new enemy they had faced earlier.
One of her friends and war companions, Sailor Neptune, was acting strangely. While their relationship was not as close as say her relationship to Tsukino Usagi, Ami did count the elegant woman as a friend, and friends were something she cherished. True, Michiru was a hard woman to get to know, and at first things had been . . . well rocky would be phrasing it nicely between the Inner and Outer Senshi. The Inner Senshi and Outer Senshi had approached the problem of Pharaoh 90 in markedly different ways. Usagi/Serenity had hammered away at both sides and trust had slowly grown between them, a trust that was accelerated with Hotaru's adoption by Uranus and Neptune.
Those who didn't know her well often considered Michiru cold. She kept the world at bay by presenting at all times an icy façade that kept pushed most people away, never letting them to close to her. Ami suspected that Michiru had been hurt very badly in the past, probably when she lost her parents, as a result she had never learned how to open up for fear of getting hurt. The face Michiru presented to the world was carefully crafted, one of calm and elegance, as if the trials of the world could take no hold on her life. Ami knew differently, after all shyness had built its own mask around her. Still her experience with her own loneliness allowed her, from time to time to see behind the mask, not often and not for long . . . but sometimes. Michiru's pain had diminished greatly in the last year, but traces still remained and probably always would.
In many ways her own life ran parallel to the often-enigmatic senshi of Neptune. They were both highly intelligent and multi-talented, good at almost everything they did academically. Both shared the drive to excel, and both were expected to excel at everything, often without regard to the circumstances they were in or praise for a job well done.
Ami was very familiar with the price that these expectations could exact on a girl. She knew as well that of the two, she had the better situation. True, her family wasn't as wealthy as the Kaiou Clan, nor did she have the same social advantages that being the daughter, (even if adopted) of two highly respected members of that Clan brought. What she did have, and strongly suspected that Michiru desperately wanted, was a family. That was why Michiru fought so hard for Haruka, Hotaru and Setsuna, she wanted a family who loved her who were there for her. Ami had seen, on more than one occasion, the disappointment lurking behind the sapphire eyes of one Kaiou Michiru when her parents didn't show for one of her concerts or birthdays. Ami knew what it was like to be alone during a celebration and no gift however expensive, could replace the presence of family during these times.
Her own mother was often busy and Ami spent a lot of time alone or with friends, but never had her mother been to busy to make time for her on her birthday, never did Ami feel that she was nothing more than a trophy to be displayed and bragged about. Of course her mother did brag, and it was often embarrassing, but her mother also showed her more than a little love to go with the pride in her achievements.
On the other hand Ami had seen Michiru alone far more often, her parents seldom bothered to attend the concerts or award ceremonies that Michiru was involved in . . . that is unless they were there show her off to business associates. Yes, Ami's mother was a doctor and emergencies were a part of her mother's life. But Dr. Mizuno tried, and was, there for her, no matter how tired she was coming off shift Dr. Mizuno would make the shift from doctor to mother and talk to her or simply be there to listen if that was needed. That was a lot more than could be said for Michiru's parents.
Sailor Mercury waited impatiently for the search program she was running to finish. Though no sign of her impatience was evident on her face, it didn't change the fact that she felt it, nor that she really wanted to know what the heck was going on and wanted to know NOW, but patience was a virtue that Ami possessed in abundance.
Sailor Neptune had, for the first time, revealed an impressive ability in the martial arts. Mercury knew that Michiru had some training in the art of combat. Michiru had admitted in the past to "knowing a bit of kendo," but what she had so effortlessly demonstrated tonight was more than "some" training. Even to her untrained eye the skill shown was more than a little impressive, it was at a level that few could match even after years of training, Jupiter's bulging eyes had made that clear. Michiru had shown that she was a Master at the art of the blade, yet before tonight that ability had been as well hidden as a needle in a haystack.
One of the questions plaguing the young senshi was WHY it had been hidden . . . and underneath this surface concern was a secondary question. What else might be hidden behind the impassive mask that Michiru showed the world?
Ami considered the possibilities, but at present no good options presented themselves to her, so she decided to review the information that she did have while the Mercury computer did its work.
Fact: Michiru/Neptune normally did not seek close combat when
dealing with an enemy. She, like all except Jupiter, Venus and Uranus
normally contented herself with ranged attacks based on the planet
from which they drew their power. Fact: Tonight Neptune had used Uranus's Space Sword
Fact: Tonight Neptune had literally cut the creature they were
facing into ribbons and had done so without taking any serious hits in
return.
Fact: Uranus/Haruka had not looked surprised at the skill used, though
she had been "out of it" for some reason.
Hypothesis: Uranus had just recently found out about Neptune's skills
and while she intellectually accepted them, she had not had time to
fully accept them.
Fact: Uranus had called Neptune Azami.
Fact: Jupiter/Makoto had recognized the name Azami.
Fact: When questioned about Azami, Makoto had responded by telling the
other senshi that Azami was the All-Japan Sword Champion.
Fact: Pluto/Setsuna had NOT been surprised and had even commented that
"Michiru was more herself than she's been in a while".
Fact: Although she tried to hide it Chibi-Usa had not been as
surprised by the events as she should have been.
Fact: Saturn/Hotaru had been shocked at the showing made by her mama
and did not appear to have known about any such skills prior to
tonight.
Initial Hypothesis: Michiru was Azami. Setsuna and Chibi-Usa knew
about this as did Haruka, but Haruka had just found this out recently.
Secondary Hypothesis: Michiru had recovered more of her Silver
Millennium memories some time back but, for some reason or the other,
had hidden this from the "Outers" including Hotaru.
Ami nodded, confirming to herself that these were indeed the "facts"
as she knew them.
The Mercury computer chimed softly, interrupting her reverie as it
announced that
the search and comparison program she had been running was complete.
Before she
could even touch the keyboard Ami was interrupted by another soft
beeping, this
time from the communicator on her wrist. The normally placid senshi
of Mercury
quickly tapped the device disguised as jewelry and with a touch of
impatience spoke.
"Usagi, I said . . ."
"Uhmm, Ami," a familiar voice interrupted. It was a familiar voice, but it was not the voice of her princess. "Its Makoto."
"Sorry Makoto. It's just that Usagi has called me ten times already and I told her the last five that I'd let her know what I found out as soon as I found it out."
"Oh. Sorry then, I'll call you later," Makoto answered with a tinge of embarrassment in her tone.
"No that's okay. What do you want?" Ami asked politely, though she was sure that Makoto wanted to know the same thing that Usagi, Rei and Minako had wanted to know when they called. In fact the only ones who hadn't already called her at least once were Setsuna (no surprise there) Hotaru, Haruka and Chibi-Usa. Haruka was probably still with Michiru and likely knew more than she was telling already. Ami suspected from the look that Hotaru had given both Pluto and Chibi-Moon that they were taking part in Saturn's own little inquisition.
"I was just checking to see what you'd found out," Makoto admitted sheepishly.
"Nothing yet, but the Mercury Computer just finished running the data search I had requested when you called," with a lighter tone Mercury continued. "You did manage to hold out longer than all the rest before calling."
"Have you looked at it yet?"
"No, I was just about to when you called. It's a good thing that I always have the computer on and scanning when we fight or I wouldn't have much to go on."
"That's true," Jupiter confirmed, "I'll let you go, give us a call when you find out anything. Oh, Rei said she was going to try a fire reading on both Neptune and the monsters we fought earlier."
"I know and I will Makoto," Ami promised.
Mercury half considered shutting the communicator off until she was finished, but she was to experienced to do so. While it would be unusual for another attack to come so quickly on the heels of the first, it was not impossible that it would do so and she didn't want to be out of the loop. She didn't want any of her friends to get hurt because she wasn't there to help during an attack.
"Talk to you later then."
"Yes later." Ami sighed as she ended the conversation.
She then turned back to the computer sitting so innocently and patiently on her desk. Despite it's appearance as just another laptop, the Mercury Computer was anything but a "simple laptop". It had processing and data gathering abilities that NASA would envy. No other computer on earth that she knew of could match its capabilities, and right now it beckoned her like a shot of whisky would call to a drunkard . . . and she reached for it with as much eagerness as the drunk would for a shot of his favorite poison.
"List data on Azami," Ami typed the commands in furiously, but with great precision, then scrolled the page as the data displayed.
Azami, no family or clan affiliation listed. Champion All Japan Kenjutsu Tournaments last three years. This was followed by a rather lengthy list of tournaments of lesser importance won over the last several years. The data finished by listing a series of television clips and articles, mostly in various sports journals, magazine or shows that were about or at least referenced her name. It also contained a few pictures of the swordswoman and some video footage of Azami in action. No other data, such as school records, medical records or family history was available, which was strange given the capabilities of the Mercury Computer, but might indicate that Azami was indeed Kaiou Michiru.
Ami shrugged, then called up the video footage, the lack of personal data was just another factor to be considered in the mystery presented. She watched the most recent images taken from the finals of this years Tournament. They were also the newest images as the tournament had been just three weeks ago. Azami, whoever she was, was as skilled as Jupiter indicated. The match showcased her skill as she was apparently in control during the entire match. That wasn't to say the other fighter, (also a woman) wasn't skilled, but the economy of motion and near perfect defense of the smaller Azami was again evident even to one not trained in the way of the sword.
"Compare the sword-style used in this match with that used by Sailor Neptune recorded today's date," Ami requested.
The computer screen split into two parts the image of Neptune fought a demon on the left and Azami fought her match on the right. The images literally blurred during the fight sequences as they were played in "real time", both images moved at speeds scarcely recognizable as human, though Neptune was moving faster than Azami. That was to be expected though, as the power-up a senshi received when in uniform gave a proportional increase to the natural abilities that the recipient already had. If Azami was Neptune then of course Neptune would be faster.
"Display correlation, if any, between the styles used," this request for data was answered almost as the last key was stroked by Ami's fast moving fingers. Mercury was so used to the uncanny speed of the Mercury Computer that she didn't even notice the near instantaneous response to her request.
Ami's eyes widened fractionally as one of her hypothesis was confirmed. The words on the screen were clear. Correlation of styles ninety-seven percent. While not a complete match, given how short both fights were the answer was clear.
Ever methodical in her quest for knowledge, the fragile seeming girl continued her search. This time she called up the photos from the various magazine articles placing each in a separate panel on the display. Her eyes narrowed further as she scrutinized each one. Although they varied as to hair and eye color Mercury knew that both were relatively easy to conceal. If Azami was indeed Michiru she could have taken such simple precautions as a wig and colored contacts to conceal her identity. As Neptune she had the ability to use the disguise power of her henshin rod if she were so inclined. After comparing the photos for a few moments Ami decided that perhaps both had been done. There were subtle differences between the pictures taken more than two years ago and those taken more recently.
Nodding decisively to herself, the senshi of ice and water called up a photo of Michiru and placed it next to one of the older images. The picture was fairly recent as it was a candid shot taken during one of the regular meetings over at Rei's place. In fact the picture was taken about a month ago. The picture was of the kind to draw instant "awwwsss" when looked at. Hotaru was sitting half asleep in Michiru's lap while the older girl leaned against Haruka, all in all a rather cute photo and one that showed the seldom seen softer side of Neptune, as evidenced by the contented smile on her face. Ami paused, took a deep breath and typed in her next series of commands, morphing the hair and eye color of Michiru into the same shades as the picture of Azami next to it. Peering at the altered pictures they appeared to be identical, Ami then superimposed the images . . . to find (as suspected) that they matched perfectly.
Ami allowed herself one self-satisfied smirk before reaching once again for her communicator. Before she completed the action she stopped and typed in the parameters of her next search. Ami was going to find out everything the Mercury Computer had on file about the monsters they fought earlier.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The scene at the Hino Shrine lacked the emphasis on technology that Ami's room and the Mercury computer provided. There were few trappings of the modern world here, other than the electric lights, nothing that detracted from the purpose and sanctity of the shrine, all that was present was the traditional trappings of a Shinto Shrine. Indeed this scene could've been played out with very few changes at any time during the last six hundred years.
Kneeling with the ease of long practice was a striking young woman clothed in a shrine maiden's attire. Hino Rei more than looked the part of a shrine maiden, she was the part. Rei possessed the true skills of a Shinto shrine maiden, though they were not yet in full bloom. The raven tressed girl could wield, however imperfectly as yet, powers that had been lost or rejected as superstition to by the modern world. Rei kneeled before the fire pit, her face ruddy in the dancing flames and her long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her expression was a paradoxical mix of relaxed concentration. Rei took deep calming breaths as she gazed into the heart of the shrines mystic fire and slipped into a trance that was familiar, yet ever new to experience.
Hino Rei was a study of contrasts. Her personality was well fitted to the planet she drew her power from, and was a hot as the flames she looked into so intently. The Senshi of Mars possessed a fire deep within her soul that couldn't be completely tamed, but which could be directed, as she was attempting to do tonight. Sometimes using the power felt like rafting a raging torrent without a paddle, but the knowledge learned had proven to often to be critical to her needs to ignore.
She also considered herself a friend to the Outer Senshi and she too was concerned for her friend Michiru. Admittedly Rei had her problems with the Outers from time to time, and she was sometimes uncomfortable in their presence, but they were still her teammates and allies in their hidden struggle against evil. Even more though than just allies, they were her friends, and like the rest of the Inner Senshi Hino Rei did not desert her friends when there was trouble brewing. No, whatever difficulties Mars had with them in the past, and whatever problems they might have in the future, they were her friends first and foremost. She too would do what it took to help them.
The fire senshi's problems were two-fold this night. Even as she began to fall into her mystic trance Rei felt a shudder work its way down her spine to settle most uncomfortably in her belly. The monsters they had faced tonight were unlike any that the Scouts had fought before. The Negaverse used a twisted and dark source for their powers true but it was like a twisted reflection of the power used by the senshi themselves. Rei fought back a grin as a random thought flitted its way across her mind, interrupting for a moment her meditation attempts. The Silver Millennium and the Negaverse were much like the Jedi and Sith from that American movie Star Wars. Both were sources of power and those who fought for truth and love had to be very careful lest they too fall, drawn to the easy power offered by the Negaverse. Even the enemies they fought seemed like warped mirror images of the Scouts themselves, several of their foes even calling themselves "Scouts".
Tonight though it had been different. The monsters had radiated an aura of palpable evil, overwhelming otherworldly evil that had threatened to swamp her mystic senses. The creatures weren't once human foes that had been seduced by the Dark Side, they WERE the Dark. The power they flaunted spoke only to the darkest and most depraved desires of human nature, and the stench of that evil repelled made her want to retch. They oozed evil, their aura's were so intensely corrupt that it was as if someone had taken all the sins of man and distilled them, casting out as waste all that was not dark and unholy, leaving only the purest essence of evil behind.
Rei closed her eyes as she struggled to clear her mind, reaching within herself for the power she knew she possessed. Opening her eyes she stared into the flames as she began to chant and to pray. She had done all that she could to prepare herself. She had taken a purifying bath, placed wards all around the shrine, and had dressed herself in robes that were ceremonially clean, now it was time to begin.
"Mystic fires, spirits of my ancestors, Kami of all those that are good hear my plea. I come to you this night pure of purpose, clear of thought, I seek your guidance, I seek your aid. Hear my plea O spirits, Hear my plea Kami, see my need and answer my call. I ask most humbly knowing that my friends and I cannot do this alone. We need your protection, show me that which I must know, show me that which I need."
The maiden felt her awareness both expand and contract at the same time. All sounds of the modern world faded from her hearing, all thoughts except those so desperately seeking this knowledge faded as well.
Now opening her eyes Rei stared deep into the flames, her heart and mind open, trusting in the protective wards so carefully placed to protect her soul from harm. Her spirit was open, as it had to be to receive her vision, and she was in peril if her wards failed. Despite the danger, and in a way embracing it, she searched for answers, for clues to the future and the dangers that were now upon them.
Without warning Rei felt a warm presence, one that comforted her, yet one whose power dwarfed her own as surely as the sun dwarfed the moon. There in the fire was stood the image of a young gajin woman, a girl really, who looked even younger than her own years. Yet whose mere presence spoke of age and knowledge, whose eyes whispered of seeing things that were yet to come. Eyes that still managed to show compassion for the shrine maiden. She had long black hair, and bore strange blue markings on her face that looked as if they were tattoos. She was dressed in unfamiliar robes, all in all she should have struck a jarring note, but did not. A hammer was strapped to her back ready for instant use. Despite the kami's strange appearance all Rei felt was the rightness of the vision.
When the kami spoke it was in a young sounding voice, yet one that was full of confidence ,as if she knew that all would be well in the future.
"Take heart Sailor Mars. The enemy behind the enemy you face cannot be defeated until the final battle, until Ragnarok itself, until the battle of Armageddon it will exist. Your fears are well founded for you fought the forces of Hell itself tonight. Hell can be fought and pushed back, its willing minions defeated and cast down. That is the fight that you must face. If you are willing and strong you will find that even the forces of Hell cannot stand against you. Many lives can be saved from the darkness if you refuse to surrender. Your prayers have not gone unheeded, your need has not been ignored, Kami-sama himself has heard your request this night. The answers you seek will be revealed in time, for now look deep into the flames and learn,"
The young kami then looked sternly out from the flames, "Beware arrogance and pride, you will find allies if you allow yourselves to trust, but place that trust carefully. There is a fine line between wisdom and foolishness. Trust your friends even when all is not as it seems and has not been as you have believed. Trust in the Princess, she sees the heart and sees true more often than not."
The stern gaze dropped, the warning having been given. Then with a warm, yet somehow still mischievous, smile the messenger faded leaving the flames empty for the space of two heartbeats. Then images returned flowing and dancing in the flames with a clarity that surpassed all of her previous scryings.
The first image unsurprisingly was Michiru. At Usagi's request, (and to be certain a need of her own) the shrine maiden was to find out what she could regarding the recent revelations by the Outers.
Rei watched as Michiru danced in the flames. First she danced through unarmed katas. , Behind her, mirroring her every move, was a young man dressed in red and black silks. The boy's expression was at first desolate and sad, but as the vision continued turned to one of peace. His long black hair was tied into a pigtail, his every move graceful, controlled . . . and identical to those made by Michiru. The pair moved in synch as they danced though kata after kata. As the pair fought unseen enemies, they moved ever closer to one another until finally the kata ended. The boy stood directly behind Michiru, arms wrapped around her from behind and holding her in a warm embrace. The raven-haired youth looked down at the smaller woman, then kissed her softly before he faded into a cloud of blue light, his face serene even as he disappeared. The effervescent cloud then surrounded Michiru and began to disappear as if she were drawing the essence of the light within herself.
Despite the fact that she was in a trance Rei watched in shock as the boy placed his lips in a gentle kiss on the top of Michiru's head. Michiru was being hugged and kissed by a BOY, now she KNEW the end of the world was upon them.
Looking closer, she saw sadness in Michiru's eyes, a sadness that was soon replaced with determination as she resumed her kata, this time armed with a bokken and dressed in the traditional garments of a samurai. Opposed to her and attacking with fierce skill was an old man with long gray hair and glasses. They fought then Neptune bowed after she was defeated, a rare smile gracing her face replacing the scowl the loss had put there.
With the suddenness that often characterized her visions, Michiru transformed into Sailor Neptune in mid-move . . . and the bokken morphed into a katana. Its mate, a matching wazikashi appeared in her other hand. The blades were works of art, shining examples of a sword-smiths crafting. They were plain in appearance, lacking ornamentation of any kind other than the sheer perfection of their make. The hilts of both blades were wood, and the scabbards the same, but the color of the wood was most unusual being a rich warm red. The scabbards were unadorned as well, except for a simple red cord on each. No other ornamentation was needed though as the simple lines and rich wood provided a beauty that was almost otherworldly.
Rei started again as she looked deeper into the flames, using senses not available to her outside of this trance the senshi of Mars discovered that the swords and scabbards both glowed with a comforting blue aura.
The change had no more than occurred when Rei's perception changed again. Rei saw a building, forty maybe fifty stories high and of typical glass and steel construction. She didn't have time to look for any identifying marks when she was pulled inside. Everywhere she looked she saw the trappings of wealth and power. Thick carpeting covered the floors, expensive paintings dotted the walls, statues, urns and vases were tastefully placed here and there. The furniture itself screamed of the large sums needed to buy each piece. Pulled along by the flames Rei soon reached the top floor . . . but she could not enter as something barred her way.
Reaching out with her extra senses, the shrine maiden instantly knew what was stopping her. The entire floor was warded, but the wards were nothing like those she and her grandfather made. These reeked of evil, there were wards to prevent detection, others to prevent entry and still others to cause harm to those unrightfully seeking entrance. She spotted one of the wards nearby and forced herself to draw closer though each step made the stench of evil grow strong, with each step became ever more disgusted.
Her wards were made by taking special inks and carefully drawing the proper characters on them while infusing them with some of her spiritual energy. These . . . abominations shared only two things with her wards, they were written and they were imbued with spiritual energy. There the similarities stopped. Whoever or whatever made these had used blood for ink and what Rei feared was human skin for paper. She was no tanner, nor an expert on leather, but there were old tales still recorded in the Shrines records that spoke of necromancers and sorcerers who utilized these forbidden and darkest of arts.
Before she could bring herself to look closer her view changed again. This time she saw the Scouts in action fighting a desperate battle against foes whose very aura warped the area around them, whose presence felt twisted and whose grasp left dark greasy stains on the souls of those they touched. She watched battle after battle as the Scouts fought and won. Rei quickly noticed that as time passed the Scouts grew ever more skillful with both their magic and their fighting abilities. Mars watched as fight after fight the Scouts turned back the darkness, only to be called forth again to fight. She watched as their enemies grew ever more terrible in their abilities . . . and in the darkness they carried with them, yet the Scouts fought on.
Again her perspective changed. This time the vision revealed a desolate landscape. A feeling of foreboding swept over the fiery Mars, this place was just wrong. The area was devastated, ruined buildings and rubble dotted the area, empty destroyed reminders of what man had achieved and then lost. An aura of despair and hopelessness clung to everything she could see. Here and there she spotted movement, furtive and careful. A closer looked revealed desperate men, women and children striving to survive in the devastation. A second look at the desolate scene revealed this to be Tokyo itself. In the distance she could see a dark forbidding fortress looming over the ruined city.
Rei hoped to get closer, but even as this thought came to her she sensed that she was no longer alone. Spinning on her heel to look behind her the normally fearless Sailor Mars felt her heart leap into her throat. A demon was near, and with it a hideous creature that looked like a dog straight out of a nightmare. The demon was reptilian, much like the one Neptune fought earlier, and it was apparently looking for someone. She watched as it carefully scanned the surroundings and as the hellhound snuffled the ground seeking a scent. She watched as it moved closer, confident that it couldn't see her, as she was not really present. That is she was confident until it looked straight at her with its hellish eyes, an evil grin spreading across its face.
"I thought you were all dead," the malevolence in its voice was matched only by its satisfaction as it continued. "It has been to long since I've heard a shrine maiden screaming as I used her. It's been to long since I've broken one for my use, I will look forward to your torment," The creature laughed as it shook out a long whip and prepared to strike.
Shocked that the creature could see her she hesitated, and that hesitation nearly cost her life. Fortunately, even as the whip streamed towards her she once again felt a tug on her spirit as she was yanked away from the confrontation.
Rei awoke to the echo of her scream, blood full of adrenaline and her heart in her mouth. Sailor Mars was no coward, but the demons words had shaken her. Knee's popped as she rose to her feet and shakily stretched.
She had found little to settle her questions about Neptune, and much to worry about as to the rest of her vision. She might not know exactly what was going on with the demons, but the portents were for great trouble and strife to come. Mars certainly didn't like that answers, and she knew that her friends wouldn't either.
Rei knew that what she saw could happen, the fire never lied when it gave its warnings. More importantly she also knew that it warned of future danger and that steps could be taken to prevent the tragedy shown, to prevent that possible future. Gathering her determination around her like a cloak Rei strove to banish her fears. Instead of focusing on the dangers she clung to the words given to her by the kami. They could fight and they could prevail . . . the darkness could be held back. Rei also held on to the knowledge that Crystal Tokyo did exist and if they fought long and hard enough what she had seen tonight would never come to pass. Tonight, well tonight she had to sleep, they would talk at the senshi meeting tomorrow, but first Rei stepped outside, she wanted to make sure that ALL the wards were still in place.
* * * * * * * * * *
"She's asleep Pu-chan," Chibi-Usa informed her companion as she joined her in the kitchen.
"Good," Setsuna replied as she poured each of them a cup of tea. "She needs it, healing all of those people certainly took a lot out of her."
"Yeah," Chibi-Usa took a sip of the offered beverage before continuing. "I didn't think she was going to let either of us off the hook."
"Agreed, and until I get a chance to talk to myself I didn't want to risk saying to much."
Chibi-Moon laughed softly. "Do you realize just how silly that sounded?"
The green haired woman quirked one eyebrow and allowed a small smile to creep its way onto her face.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do, unfortunately it's the truth. I have to admit though that our language just isn't really suited to discuss time travel yet without sounding a bit silly."
Usa giggled again before turning serious. "What do you think is going on?"
"Do you want an honest answer to that Small Lady?"
Setsuna continued after seeing Chibi-Usa's wordless affirmation.
"To be honest I don't know. I've apparently been hiding some things from even myself . . . and I always find that troubling."
"Yeah that's got to be a pain. At least with me I know that you've got a reason for it when you tell me not to talk about certain things.
Usa smirked as she considered several things about the future that Pluto didn't know yet. Setsuna was going to be in for a shock when she found out about what Haruka and Michiru had been discussing earlier. Chibi-Usa could hardly wait to see the look on Pu's face when she found out that Uranus and Neptune wanted to have a baby. Even that news wasn't the best part. Usa knew that if things went as they should, Michiru and Haruka were going to have a child. Unless she failed her mission and the time-line was altered they were going to have a boy, Kaiou Yoshito.
His birth was going to cause quite a ruckus with Michiru's adoptive parents. Until Michiru's pregnancy they had not raised much of a fuss about their daughter's lover. They had still hoped that Michiru was "going through a phase" and would soon seek the company of boys like a "normal" girl would. Once they found out that wasn't going to happen, they were going to threaten her with removal from the Kaiou Registry . . . to bad for them that another option was going to be available soon for Michiru. The Kaiou Clan might no longer want Michiru, but there was one that did, one that would accept her as she was. No, what was giving her the giggles now was that she knew something else that Pluto didn't know, and wasn't going to find out about . . . until it was much to late.
True, Michiru and Haruka were going to have to wait a year or so before they would be able to actually have the baby. It would be that long until it was safe for Michiru to be pregnant. Until then they (and all the other Scouts) were going to be to busy fighting this latest menace to have Michiru "out of action" for several months. Actually having the child would have to wait until the others could take up some of the burden. Given that incentive, Michiru would work hard to teach the other senshi her fighting skills.
The Scouts were going to be in for a major shock once Michiru began training them, she was a hard taskmaster and made USMC Drill Instructors look like traditional Japanese housewives in comparison. Eventually they were all going to become the warriors they had always been destined to be . . . even Usagi and Ami. Still, that wasn't what had the pink haired girl stifling her laughter. No, what had her fighting so hard to keep a straight face was the fact that Sailor Pluto, the "Ice Maiden" of the senshi was going to find herself falling head over heels in love with little Yoshito, and wasn't going to have a clue on how to handle it.
Yes, the "Ice Maiden of Pluto" was going to have a meltdown, and boy were Mokoto and Minako ever going to enjoy that. Heck they still teased Setsuna about it, even in the 30th century they enjoyed telling stories about Pluto's "misadventures in love". Talk about payback, those two boy hungry girls got it in spades. Of course when they both fell for his younger brother things got really interesting for a while, and Pluto realllly enjoyed getting some payback of her own. It was amazing how little a thirty year difference in ages meant when you lived hundreds of years.
Setsuna watched her friend carefully and bit back her frustration as Chibi- Usa's face turned several interesting shades of red. Obviously Small Lady knew something, thought it was funny what ever it was, and it was just as obvious that couldn't . . . or wouldn't tell. Sometimes it was really frustrating to be the Senshi of Time. Both of them, Chibi-Usa AND her future self were keeping secrets from her. Setsuna sighed again, whatever it was would come out in time, and eventually it would be her "dishing it out" instead of taking it, which in Plutos' mind was a much better option . . . even if she was giving it to herself.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tendo Kasumi, by most considered the person least likely to affected by the chaos in Nerima, placed the last of the supper dishes on the table. Her family, or what was left of it at least, was gathered round ready to eat.
She didn't have to say anything before Saotome Genma dug into the food, with the rest following quickly after. Kasumi knew that it was either dig in quick or risk not having anything left to eat.
"Just how long is father going to let him stay?" Kasumi wondered.
It had been just over three months since Ranma's disappearance, yet her father had not once talked about the future, other than wondering when Ranma would return and crying about the schools not being joined. Tendo Soun ignored the letter Ranma left saying that he was never coming back and that he was releasing Akane from the engagement that she never wanted. Ranma had gone on to say that he knew that neither Kasumi nor Nabiki were interested in him as a prospective husband, and that he certainly wasn't going to put the burden of the engagement on their unwilling shoulders.
"Oh Ranma, if you had only known, Nabiki wouldn't have fought the engagement at all. She had finally begun to realize just how much you meant to her. Of course she never had an opportunity or much of a chance to tell you. Everyone (except Ukyo and Shampoo), thought you and Akane were going to marry. Despite what most of Nerima thought there was much more to Nabiki than the mercenary image she projected. Family was sacred to her. Yes she sold pictures of Akane, but that was to keep a roof over their head, and none of the pictures were more than risqué. Admittedly Nabiki had rationalized the sales to Kuno as harmless, telling herself that since the kendoist was already fixated on Akane they weren't really hurting anyone. Shaking her head Kasumi pulled her mind from the past and wondered about the future.
Kasumi frowned internally, though the expression never reached her placid face, just what were the next few days going to bring? It felt weird not knowing, at least in general terms, what was going to happen next. She had grown accustomed to having "inside information" and had always drawn comfort from knowing that things were going to eventually work out for Ranma.
The last two years had been a combination of wonder and torment. Strange, and often to weird to believe, events had surrounded her household. She had weathered them all with a shrug and occasional "Oh my." She had been able to do so because of two things. The first was her own nature. Kasumi was one of those rare individuals whose peaceful aura could affect all but the most strong-willed of individuals. She believed in and looked for the best in people, and surprisingly enough nearly everyone responded positively this attitude, she was a legend in the Nerima Ward.
Kasumi smiled as she recalled one occasion (of many) exemplifying this. She had been going past a construction site where a new building was going up and some a "newby" on the crew had tried to hassle her with a wolf whistle and some rather forward comments on her looks. The poor guy hadn't even finished his comments before the others took the opportunity to "set him straight" and make him apologize for his rude behavior. She found the attention somewhat flattering, if improper, and had thanked her "rescuers" with a demure smile.
With Ranma gone change was in the wind. At Michiru's insistence Kasumi had made plans to attend college this next term. The only one who knew was Nabiki, and even her middle sister didn't know where the money came from. All Nabiki "knew" was that Kasumi had received a privately funded scholarship. Kasumi's smile grew as she considered all that Michiru had done for her and her family. Her long-time friend was quite well off, she knew that, but what she hadn't expected was the college fund that had been set-aside for her almost twelve years ago. It had come as quite the surprise to find out that Michiru/Ranma had set the bank account up (somehow) when she went back in time to establish her new life. Kasumi didn't know where the money came from, but knowing Ranma it was not from stealing. The oldest Tendo suspected that Ranma had participated in some (less than legal) street fights to obtain the money. However, he had gotten it, the money was hers now as Michiru had refused to even consider taking it back
Ranma had also set up similar funds for both Nabiki and Akane. The last was somewhat surprising given the rather unpleasant way they parted, but Kasumi knew that Ranma had a good heart and despite the anger she had shown yesterday, Kasumi knew that she still cared for her little sister, though no longer as a possible wife.
It could be that Michiru simply didn't feel it fair to help Kasumi and Nabiki without providing at least something for Akane. Kasumi didn't know, and to be quite honest at this point it didn't really matter. Michiru was, and had been for two years, head over heels in love with her girlfriend Ten'ou Haruka.
Kasumi continued her musings as she ate, even though distracted the oldest Tendo sister was graceful with every move.
Akane, her youngest sister, still couldn't decided how to take Ranma's disappearance. She cycled from happiness to anger to sadness and back again. Akane did care for Ranma, but the problems that they had in their relationship had all to often overwhelmed those feelings. Akane good had reason to dislike boys when Ranma came, courtesy of the morning fights at school, and that distrust had ruined what possibilities they had together.
Ranma wasn't blameless either, and the fact that it was indeed mostly his father's fault didn't absolve him of some of the blame. They had gotten off on the wrong foot from the very first. Kasumi didn't think Akane ever completely got over the feeling of betrayal that first afternoon when she found out Ranma was a boy . . . and he hadn't told her.
Then the whole multiple fiancée mess came to light. If the others hadn't shown up things probably would've been okay between Ranma and Akane. After all Ranma and Akane had become closer after the whole "skating rink" incident. But such was not to be, first Shampoo, then Ukyo not to mention Kodachi arrived to complicate matters. The other fiancées that popped up from time to time didn't help either. The whole mess just got out of hand. Akane couldn't trust Ranma, and Ranma himself didn't know how to talk to Akane without insults. Yes, his problems with his "softer" emotions and lack of communication skills was the pandas fault as well, but Ranma didn't figure out how to talk to Akane until it was to late, by then the distrust was to well entrenched to dig up sa long as the other fiancées were around to cause trouble.
Kasumi flinched as she recalled Ranma's last attempt to work things out with Akane. It hadn't been pretty. To many prior encounters, to many misunderstandings had created a fog of distrust that neither could see through. Ranma made one last try to talk to her youngest sister, and perhaps if he had waited for her to calm down, perhaps if Kodachi hadn't come by that evening things would've been different, but things had gone wrong and now they had to live in the present, instead of in the "what might have been."
Nabiki on the other hand, didn't realize what Ranma truly was until it was too late. She had fixated on his "jock" personality, uncharacteristically forgetting that he'd no sensei, no example other than the Panda during most of his life. Of course given those circumstances Ranma had been rough around the edges. What was astounding was that beneath his uncouth manner Ranma was the kind of guy that most girls could only dream about. He was loyal, courageous, caring and highly intelligent. Unfortunately he didn't know how to present himself, knowing only the road and Genma, his social growth had been stunted considerably. Despite his shortcomings though Ranma had always been there for her family, had never betrayed his honor with one of the other fiancées despite many opportunities to do so (and girls ever so willing to be "taken advantage of") he had instead consistently placed everyone else's safety and needs before his own.
Nabiki had finally figured that out, had finally seen the jewel he would someday become, but by then Ranma had already decided to leave, and leave in such a way that she wouldn't be found. It still broke Kasumi's heart to hear Nabiki finally confess that she might like Ranma as more than a "little brother", and Nabiki knowing that she was part of the reason he left. Kasumi, on the other hand, nearly broke down as she and Nabiki talked, because she knew that Ranma was gone for good. He was permanently (or so she still said) a girl and had been for years as her friend Michiru. Nabiki's revelation and her subsequent resolution to show Ranma she had changed (when he came back), was to little to late. Still, some good had come of it as Nabiki began to see the money she depended upon to keep her safe might do that . . . but it wouldn't keep her happy.
Father and the panda hadn't changed at all. They still thought Ranma would come crawling back and that the "schools would be joined" if not with Akane then with either Nabiki or herself. That wasn't going to happen either. Part of Kasumi regretting losing Ranma as a little brother, but the rest of her rejoiced in her friendship with Michiru. They intended to go to college together and had made plans to do so. Michiru only had one more year of High School to go, and it would take Kasumi that long to do everything that she needed to do to gain her own admittance to a university. Michiru/Ranma had always been there for her, and for that she was eternally grateful.
"Father, I will be taking a short trip tomorrow so I have fixed a cold lunch for you. I should be back in time to fix supper." Kasumi stated calmly, placing her chopsticks on the table.
"Where are you going Kasumi?" Nabiki asked slyly. "Visiting a boyfriend?"
"Oh no, I'm going to visit a shrine tomorrow with Aunty Nodoka. It's way out in the country and it's supposed to be very beautiful there. An old friend of mine is going to meet me and show me around. She says it's really lovely this time of year."
"Do you want me to go with you daughter?" Soun queried.
"No father, Grandfather Happosai said he was going that direction and will ride with Aunty and me. I'll take the train back with Aunty Nodoka and my friend."
"The Master?!!!" Genma and Soun looked at each other, "But why?"
"Are you questioning me boys?" Happosai yelled at his former students.
"No Master, of course not," the two chorused, their voices quavering with fear.
"Good then it's settled."
Kasumi looked over at the last "family member" around the table. Grandfather Happosai had a date with Ranma tomorrow. Kasumi helped set it up, and was going to watch Ranma fight for the right to practice Anything Goes. She didn't know what agreement had been made between the two, but she did know that it was coming to a head tomorrow. She also knew that she would be there for her friends, even if both were really the same person. Kasumi just hoped that Michiru could echo Ranma's old boast that Saotome Ranma never loses.
* ~* * * * * * * * * *
The drive home was short, Haruka showcasing her driving skills as she was accustomed to, much to the annoyance of her fellow travelers. With the ease of long practice her customized sports car darted though traffic like a barracuda moving through a school of tuna, lesser vehicles and drivers giving her the right of way.
The drive was short and it was also silent. Haruka had most of her attention on the road and other drivers, while the small portion that wasn't so involved was still trying to assimilate the information that had been dumped on her this night. Michiru was just as quiet, obviously lost in thoughts of her own.
Haruka felt herself relax as drive began to ease tensions that had been creeping up on her all evening. To many, a drive though Tokyo traffic was anything but soothing, but to a driver of her skills it was nothing, a familiar operation that calmed her by its common nature.
She spared a quick glace away from the road outside and to her petite passenger. Michiru was staring out the passenger window with what was an almost unbearably cute pout on her face. Haruka didn't know what was running through her lover's mind, but she did know that they were going to work past it. The blond snorted softly, there was no way in hell that she was going to let anything come between them. She had found her soul mate and by Kami she wasn't letting her go. Uranus and Neptune were lovers in the Silver Millennium and they were lovers now, she knew she'd rather die than give Michiru up, and if the Inners didn't like it they could stick it.
Haruka wasn't really worried about the other Senshi. They might moan and complain, about being kept in the dark, but if she didn't let her lovers secrecy bother her they shouldn't either. Haruka rather suspected that the communicators or phone lines were burning up tonight as the Inners gossiped about what they had seen and heard.
No, what worried her was the way Michiru was handling things. She had no idea why Michiru was overreacting so much about the whole Azami thing. Sure, she'd been upset to find out her lover was a student of her idol Saotome Nodoka and hadn't told her about it. But who wouldn't be? The senshi of space was much more worried about the reason why Michiru hadn't talked to her before now. Why did Michiru hide her relationship with Nodoka, why did Michiru hid her friendship with this Kasumi woman, she didn't know, but she was going to find out.
Wheeling the car deftly into the driveway, Haruka tapped the button raising the garage door then eased into the parking bay.
"C'mon, we're home," Haruka tapped Michiru on the shoulder interrupting whatever reverie the other woman was holding with herself. "Let's go inside, after all I've got plans for you."
Michiru's smile seemed a little forced, but it was there, definitely an improvement on the worry she had so uncharacteristically displayed before. They nodded and spoke briefly to Setsuna, who was watching television, then padded up the stairs to their room.
Michiru was the first to enter, and Haruka took full advantage of that occurrence, mesmerized by the seductive sway of Neptune's bottom. Entering second, the blond tomboy looked away from her lover for a moment as she pushed the door to their room closed. The darn latch was sticking and if she didn't lift just right on the door handle the latch wouldn't catch. While she certainly wasn't ashamed about what she knew was going to take place, that didn't mean that she wanted an audience either. It would be bad enough to have Setsuna walk by and see them, but Hotaru and Chibi-Usa were home and she most certainly did not want them walking in at the wrong time. A moment later she heard a definitive click as the latch went home. Haruka didn't have time to look up before she heard Michiru speak, and not in her normal contralto either.
"Haruka, I told you earlier that tonight was your night. Do you have anything special in mind . . . or do you want me to improvise," Michiru purred.
The words weren't all that sexy in and of themselves, Haruka noted absently, even as she felt her temperature rising and her heartbeat accelerating. Looking up she saw a vision of perfect blue loveliness. In the few seconds that she had looked away, Michiru had stopped and taken a hellishly seductive pose just an arms length away. Haruka didn't know how someone could look so . . . damn sexy just standing there, but Michiru was more than managing it. She felt her jaw drop open and a small amount of drool forming in her mouth as she stared.
"Damn she's good at this," Haruka noted, though it was far from the first time she had this thought. "It's hard to believe she was so shy when we first got together."
"I think you like what you see don't you?" the purr was still in Michiru's voice as she turned a slow circle in front of Haruka, keeping her eyes locked to those of her lover as she turned. Michiru stopped about halfway through her turn and looked over she shoulder at Haruka, she reached behind herself and with a slow movement pulled the zipper at the back of her dress open. Finishing her turn Michiru once again faced her lover.
Haruka noted absently that the thin straps holding the dress on were the only things holding the dress on. She watched as her blue haired lover took one of those ever so delicate hands and pushed the strap off her left shoulder, then repeated the action with her other hand dropping the right strap so that it hung loosely at her side. Still unmoving, and with her pulse pounding in her ears, Haruka could only watch Michiru slowly shrugged and let the blue silk dress slide down around her ankles where it glistened like a shimmering pool at her feet.
The blond woman swallowed as she noted that Michiru hadn't been just teasing earlier this evening. She was wearing a concoction of lace and silk that tantalized Haruka more than if Michiru had just stripped naked. The bra was mostly lace and hid nothing from Haruka's impassioned gaze. Moving her eyes downward, and enjoying every inch of the view, Haruka saw that Michiru hadn't been kidding about what she wasn't wearing, for the only thing encasing her hips was a lacy garter belt, just enough was there to support the blue silk hose that encased her gorgeous legs.
"Yes, yes I do very much," Haruka finally found her voice. She found that when she spoke her voice was soft and velvety with lust, desire . . . and more importantly love. "But we need to talk,"
"Haruka . . . love," Michiru's voice was also filled with need. "I promise we'll talk tomorrow . . . can't it wait until then? I just want to show you how much I love you, show you what you mean to me. I . . . I love you so very much."
Haruka shivered at the raw need showing in Michiru's eyes. This was one of the things about her lover that intrigued her so much. Michiru kept herself under such complete control most of the time, but for her, for her "baka tomboy" as Michiru often called her, the walls came down and the heart usually protected so fiercely was left exposed, defenseless and vulnerable. Haruka knew that this was indeed Michiru's greatest gift to her. She sometimes felt unworthy of such a gift, but it was hers, freely given and hers alone.
"We'll talk tomorrow," Haruka conceded. Yes she wanted, no really needed, to find out what was going on. But for tonight there was a greater need, Michiru obviously needed to be shown, . . . in a way most physical, that she was loved.
The light that ignited in her lover's eyes was all the reward she needed. If nothing else happened tonight except seeing that expression of love that would be enough, Haruka decided as she saw the flames of passion so clearly expressed in those wondrous blue eyes. Still, she knew that was not all that was going to happen, she opened her arms as the lingerie clad Michiru swayed toward her. She felt her own desire flare up when Michiru unbuttoned the jacket to her tux and slid her arms around her. She could feel the heat from her lover though the silk shirt she still wore and basked in it, but more importantly she felt complete when Michiru stood on her tip toes and pulled her into a scorching, yet somehow still gentle kiss.
Once this first kiss was finished, and after rational thought returned to her mind, Haruka vowed once again that she would love Michiru forever. All thoughts ceased other than those of love and passion when Michiru led her over to their bed . . . and that was as it should be. Tomorrow she would worry, but tonight she would love.
8. Ch 8 New Bonds Forged and Others Broken
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
A/N – After getting the last two chapters out quickly this one took a little bit of time. Of course at 35 pages it is twice as long as all but the last two chapters. I hope you enjoy the small flashbacks and yet more hints of what is to come. Next time, more revelations and the fight with Happosai. Hope you like the twists revealed here.
A reviewer made a good point on the Tenchi continuity. For those that want to know this is (basically) the OAV setting – just tweaked a bit. I happen to like Kiyone so even though she comes from the Tenchi Universe setting (and a couple of the movies) I knew I was going to have her (at least a cameo) in the fic. So in hopes of preventing confusion there I used Achika for Tenchi's mother's name as it was used in one of the non-OAV settings for her name.
Forever the Tomboy Ch. 8 ---
New Bonds Forged and Others Broken
"Beautiful," Ranma whispered softly and lovingly.
Ranma looked at the face just inches from her own and was content. Haruka looked so peaceful and serene while asleep, a far cry from the expressive visage she had when awake.
They lay on their bed, arms and legs still intertwined from a night of lovemaking. Ranma reveled in the feel of Haruka's arms holding her as she nestled even closer. They had fallen asleep while cuddling, coming down from a passion induced high that was like no other, and there was nothing Ranma enjoyed more than waking next to her tomboy . . . not even the Art meant more to her than Haruka.
Indeed, to her eyes Haruka looked more beautiful than ever. Never mind that her lover's blond hair was matted to her head in places, and in others the short hair splayed wildly in all directions as if an electric shock had been applied. Ranma smiled contentedly, it was definitely going to take a shower and a more than a few minutes with a brush to even think about getting that blond mop back under control. They both were covered with a thin sheen of dried sweat and were a bit fragrant, but not quite rank. Ranma smiled as she recalled just how they had worked up the sweat. Haruka had been very energetic last night. The smile turned sultry, a bit wicked, and if it were possible, grew even larger. She and Haruka were both quite limber and had made the most of their athleticism last night, to their mutual pleasure. It still amazed her from time to time, just how much she enjoyed making love with and to Haruka.
She had been almost completely ignorant about the physical aspects of love for a Long time. She had learned about it during her second life, but never actually experienced it herself. In her third, one thing was certain, the Panda hadn't ever given any instruction in this area. He had never had "the talk" with Ranma, nor even bothered to let him find out about it on his own. Genma had wanted nothing to distract his meal ticket from the Art, not friends . . . and definitely not lovers. The result, Ranma had no real contact with women, intimate or otherwise, on anything other than a superficial basis. Genma was a louse in many ways, but he had never cheated on Nodoka, so Ranma didn't even have a bad example to use as a comparison. As bad a Genma was in most areas of his life, even he had avoided the "professional women" when they were in the city. Not even the need to make Ranma a "Man among Men" had broken the panda's resolve to keep his son from any distraction offered by women . . . regardless of type.
Due to this lack Ranma had been completely ignorant about the physical aspects of love and nearly as ignorant of the emotional aspects as well. When the whole fiancée mess started Ranma had no idea how to handle the girls, especially when they were "demonstrative" of their affection. Hell, "he" hadn't even kissed a girl when he first arrived at the Tendo dojo, let alone done anything more serious. Unfortunately the same could also be said when he finally got sick of everything and left as well. Sure she'd been kissed, had experienced more than her share of glomps, hugs and (forced) kisses given to him by "his" various fiancées, but none of them had been consensual. To top it all off the ones he had experienced had been immediately followed by pain inflicted by one or more of the other "non-kissing" fiancées. Instead of true attempts to show love, each display of intimacy had been nothing more than an attempt to mark someone's territory, to show the other fiancées that he was "taken". They were not much different than the signs a predator would make when marking its territory. Even as clueless as he was he could sense the difference, the result being that he'd been more . . . uncomfortable than aroused by the attention.
She certainly wasn't uncomfortable with that now, at least not with Haruka . . . or at least not often anyway. Ranma snuggled closer to her love, taking comfort from her presence, her touch, and her scent. She inhaled, enjoying the traces of cologne, mixed with Haruka's womanly scent and the musk from their exertions the night before. It never ceased to amaze her how safe she felt when Haruka held her like this. She had the skills to more than take care of herself, but it was here that she truly felt protected.
The top of her head fit perfectly under Haruka's chin, their forms melded together as if they were made for each other, indeed in her mind they were. With a tender smile, Ranma placed a rather wet kiss on her loves collarbone, smiling as her partner moaned softly in her sleep and unconsciously wriggled closer.
When she'd gone back to start her lives over, she'd resigned herself to being alone. Ranma had no interest in boys. The one thing that had scared her when she first thought about using the curse to escape her life in Nerima, indeed the only real fear she'd had, was the fear that she might "go girl" completely and fall for a boy. That thought had disgusted . . . and quite frankly terrified her.
Raising herself up onto her elbow, Ranma moved her right hand from its place on Haruka's waist to softly caress her lovers face and hair, content to enjoy the touch of skin on skin. Haruka shifted slightly under her ministrations rolling onto her back, her right arm slipping from its place around Ranma to fall by her side. Softly cupping Haruka's face with a gentle hand Ranma moved in for a kiss even as her mind fled back to her first meeting with Haruka.
It had been lunchtime at Mugen Academy. She had been sitting in her usual place under one of the cherry trees that dotted the campus with two of her friends from the orchestra. True they weren't close friends, but they were about as close to being her friends as she had at Mugen. "Michiru" didn't really have any close friends. Bitter experience had made her wary of bestowing that title lightly. Acquaintances she had in plenty, but true friends she could trust with her inner self, those were rare in the extreme.
Most of the other girls were to jealous of her grades, her looks or her other accomplishments to be "real" friends with her. One constant in all of her lives was her "trophy" status, people wanted to be seen with her to "look cool" take advantage of her status. Those that weren't jealous were often intimidated by her cool, reserved manner.
Ranma didn't let that bother her, the friends she did have in her life more than made up for this lack. Tendo Kasumi was her best friend growing up, she just hoped the same would be true when "Michiru" revealed her secret to Kasumi, and that time was rapidly approaching, it was only a couple of years away now.
True the oldest Tendo lived in Nerima so they didn't see each other every day, but they did talk on the phone almost daily, sent e-mails and got together as often as they could, if they were lucky several times in a week. She was good friends with Nabiki as well. This somewhat surprised her, but having a chance to meet the girl before she became the "Ice Queen or Furinkan" had allowed her to see an entirely difference side of the middle Tendo . . . a side she wished she had known about when she was still Ranma.
In fact the only one of the three Tendo's that "Michiru" wasn't close to was Akane. That was due more to a lack of interest on the part of the youngest Tendo than anything else. Akane knew Michiru was a scholar and musician, neither of which held any appeal for the youngest Tendo. Though she hadn't quite forgiven Akane, her frustration and anger had cooled to the point it no longer hurt quite so much.
Touching her lips once again to Haruka's in a gentle kiss, Ranma settled back in next to her lover, snuggling into her shoulder and pulling the arm back around her as her mind drifted back to that first meeting.
She'd been sitting under the tree when Haruka had walked by with three of his buddies. They'd been talking about some kind of car race, she heard the word NASCAR and Daytona. To be honest she hadn't known, nor really cared either about the conversation . . . or the boys. Her friends Ayano and Miki had been watching the trio approach and commenting on just how dreamy the boys were and what "manly" figures they cut in the school's uniform. Ranma remembered flinching at that last reference, still she hadn't been at all interested in the "view", nor had she looked up from her bento box. That is she hadn't looked up until she heard the shortest of the three boys whisper a challenge to the tall bishonen blond, a challenge to try his luck with the "Frost Maiden of Mugen Academy".
Ranma knew that some guys had taken her apparent lack of interest in boys as a challenge . . . and some of the girls had taken it as a warning and steered clear of her. Ranma snorted softly, a wry smile flickering across her face . . . as if she were going to force her attentions where they weren't wanted. Hell no! She's been on the receiving end of that to often herself to try it on someone else. Steeling herself for another unwanted pass, more corny pickup lines or bad poetry, and preparing to cut this guy off at the knees before putting him in his place, Ranma closed her bento then tied it shut
"Hello, I'm Haruka, Please ignore my idiot buddies, if you'd rather not talk to me that's okay." The voice was surprisingly light for a guy, but pleasant nonetheless.
Ranma felt her self shiver, for some reason the boy's voice had sent icy chills down her spine, yet those very chills weren't unpleasant . . . frightening yes, but they were far from unpleasant
"You had better . . . "Ranma began, with an icy snap to her voice, the words no warmer than the artic air at midnight.
The she had looked up, and she was lost. Something in the blond boy's eyes called to her. When their gazes met it was as if she had found something she needed desperately, but hadn't even known she was missing. She had stopped in mid-sentence and just stared . . . and to her complete and utter horror he had done the same.
Something about the cocky boy drew her like a moth to a flame. Ranma had felt her pulse picking up and the beginnings of a blush heating her cheeks, only her iron will had kept her from blushing and giggling uncontrollably. It took all she had to just walk away . . . and even then she had turned to look back ... and been mortified to find that Haruka had been watching her with a strange, bemused look on his own face.
Ayano and Miki had teased her unmercifully the rest of the day. Her denials of interest brought her no relief, only more catty comments, more teasing. She had to admit, that even to herself, the denials sounded weak and unconvincing. Ranma tried her hardest to forget what had happened and to ignore Haruka whenever she saw him. Unfortunately the more she tried to forget him, the more he was on her mind. It was driving her insane. The thought of having sex with a boy nauseated her, but the thought of Haruka excited her like no other. Even her (now faded) memories of Akane and the other fiancées had never been quite this strong, only one other person had brought these feeling forth, and a relationship with her had been impossible before it could even start..
Haruka's reputation hadn't helped matters either. Ayano and Miki had culled the gossip about the blond boy the minute it looked like their friend Michiru might be interested in him. He was a strange mix, Haruka flirted a lot, but on the other hand he didn't actually date much. He was eagerly sought after by a whole horde of girls, yet didn't seem to let it go to his head, nor did he "kiss and tell." As much as Ranma tried to convince herself she wasn't interested . . . she was and her body knew it. That both excited and made her uneasy, she felt betrayed by her body's reactions to this boy. Boys didn't interest her so why did her heart race so when the blond boy came around, why did she want to blush, why was she so damn flustered.
Then to make matters worse Haruka apparently had taken up the challenge. He sought her out daily, taking time to talk to her in the halls, to sit with her at lunch, most of all taking the time to get to know her, to make friends with her. This was something that none of the other boys who had asked her out had bothered to try. It was exhilarating and yet uncomfortable. By the time he was done, her emotions were in so much turmoil that it was "almost" a relief when Haruka finally asked her out.
Ranma continued to hug her lover as she thought back to her first date with Haruka, a rueful smile spreading across her lips. It had taken all the willpower she had possessed to say yes when Haruka finally asked her out, and even more to actually get ready for the date. It had taken her forever to get ready, she had agonized over what to wear, what kind of impression she wanted to make. Even today it seemed strange. "Ranko" never cared what she wore, but Michiru did.
He had come to her house, this house, the one that they now shared, to pick her up. Of course at that time she still had her nanny staying with her since she was only sixteen. Haruka had been so polite talking to Toyo. Ranma would never forget the look in Haruka's eyes when "he" first saw her that night. His eyes had widened and his jaw dropped as he took his first look at her in something other than the Mugen Academy siefuku. She'd chosen a light blue silk shirt, with a matching knee length skirt, blue stockings and short-heeled pumps. She put on just a hint of make-up and had carefully chosen her jewelry, wearing dainty silver earrings that each held small sapphire chips in a diamond pattern, and a matching silver necklace with a small, but perfect, sapphire in a plain silver teardrop setting.
She'd told herself that if, by damn, she was going to date a boy that she'd go dressed to the nines. He'd been so cute too. He was wearing a green silk shirt of his own, with a jacket and matching khaki trousers. For some reason though Haruka had been as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs once they'd left the house. He didn't act at all like she had expected. They were supposed to go eat, then catch a movie. The meal was nice, they ate at a small family owned restaurant that was tiny and very cozy. During the meal talk was a little sparse as Ranma was nervous, extremely so, about dating a boy . . . and for some reason Haruka was just nervous. To kill the silence that was threatening the date, Ranma asked about Haruka's interests and before long was swamped in stories of his racing antics on the motocross circuit.
The movie was good too, but kinda depressing. Haruka allowed Ranma to pick the show and she decided on a martial arts movie. Unfortunately the hero had died a glorious but tragic death, honor upheld but at a great price.
Ranma grinned as she recalled the look of surprise and relief that had exploded on Haruka's face at her choice of shows. She had simply responded to Haruka's question regarding that choice by saying that she knew Haruka was into martial arts, and that she had studied some Kempo herself and thus had an interest as well..
During the movie Ranma had been a wreck. To her consternation she had actually hoped that Haruka would try to hold her hand or perhaps put his arm around her. To this day she couldn't recall much about the movie, she'd been so out of sorts that she had paid almost no attention to the show itself. To her surprise and some disappointment, Haruka had been a gentleman and hadn't tried anything. If it were not for his admiring reaction to her when she'd come downstairs, Ranma would've thought he didn't like her. Indeed as the movie progressed without any "moves" other than those on the big screen, she began to worry that he'd asked her out simply to prove that he could date the "undatable."
After the movie Ranma expected to head straight home, but Haruka had instead suggested a walk in the park. Ranma found herself agreeing to the excursion, curiously reluctant for the date to end. She had flinched momentarily when Haruka took her hand. Despite wanting Haruka to make such a show of affection she still had to fight the urge to deck him where he stood . She remembered running quickly through a calming mantra, desperately trying to calm herself and slow the hammering of her heart. The walk itself was awfully quiet and more than a bit uncomfortable for the two. Haruka had been strangely silent during the movie and the walk was no different, each silent step seemed louder than the one just before as the uneasy pair strolled through the park. Haruka had been quiet and during the short walk to the park, and more than a little fidgety as well.
The blond had taken her to a quiet area of the park, a secluded nook that took them out of sight from the other couples wandering the park. If she hadn't been so sure she could whip his butt if needed be Ranma might have been worried. Haruka wasn't acting like he was going to try anything improper, he was acting kinda nervous in fact, something that was at odds with his reputation.
Ranma smiled as she recalled what happened next, it had definitely caught her by surprise.
"Michiru," Haruka began nervously. "I really need to talk to you before we go any further on this date."
"What is it? You aren't mad at me are you?" Ranma looked up at the taller boy with wonder. What was going on? Was this some kind of prank, was he trying to ditch her now or something? Had he just asked her out so he could add another notch on his bedpost, one showing that HE could date the "Frost Maiden?"
The silence was unbearable to her as she waited for Haruka to continue. Dammit, she'd done something she had sworn never ever to do and agreed to date this guy and now he was going to dump her. Ranma felt both relief at the thought and a growing irritation as well, she was not going to take this lying down. She reached for the Soul of Ice and felt it's cold touch as the technique immediately respond to her need, so deep was she in the ice that she could see her breath steaming in the now cold air.
"No, but you might be mad at me," Haruka responded. He took a deep breath before continuing, "You see, I'm a girl. I like girls and I'm not attracted to boys at all. I've dated other girls and never told them, but somehow it doesn't seem right to do that to you."
Ranma was stunned, then she felt an overwhelming sense of relief. She didn't like boys. She didn't like boys . . . Haruka was a girl. Then she kicked herself for not seeing this sooner. You'd think with as many cross dressers as she'd known, with her experiences with Ukyo (and a few others in her old life), that she'd be able to tell when a girl was pretending to be a boy. Hell all the signs were there, no Adams apple, the heavy shirts or jackets worn at all times, even the voice was a slight give-away, it was deep for a woman, but awfully light for a guy.
Haruka waited for a response almost certain that this date was over. She'd dated other girls before, while pretending to be a guy, but for some reason that didn't feel . . . right . . . to do that to Michiru. From the very first time she's seen the aqua tressed girl sitting under that tree she'd felt a connection to the quiet and reserved girl, a connection far beyond anything she'd felt before. If she weren't so cynical, she'd say it had been love at first sight.
"I'm sorry, I'll take you home now," Haruka broke the silence.
Ranma heard the pain in Haruka's voice, and she knew she needed to say something, anything before it was to late, but was finding it difficult to speak. Her joy and finding out Haruka was a girl was overwhelming her thoughts.
"Don't leave," Ranma managed, "I'm glad . . . I mean I've never been . . . "Ranma paused, looking deep into Haruka's eyes. She wanted to be sure before she admitted her preferences, was she attracted to Haruka? It didn't take Long to decide, finding the answer in her heart was easy, so she continued. ". . . attracted to guys."
"Then why did you agree to go out with me? Did you know?" Haruka asked, puzzlement clear in her voice.
"Because," Ranma admitted sheepishly, "I'm attracted to you. I didn't know, consciously at least that you were a girl, and it's been scaring the hell out of me that I've been interested in you."
Haruka laughed to hear the mild curse uttered by the bewitchingly beautiful girl in front of her, a girl that wanted to go out with her. Hand in hand they walked back to Michiru's house, the date ending . . . but something else, something wonderful was just beginning.
Shaking her head to clear it, Ranma pulled her mind back to the present. She looked at her sleeping lover before she reluctantly disentangled herself from Haruka's grasp and rose to her feet. Her past with Haruka was something special, but she had much to do today. Today she was going to deal with Happosai, today she was going to regain the right to practice Anything Goes.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Haruka woke to four out of five of her favorite things in the world. She heard the sweet voice of her daughter as Hotaru called for her papa to wake up. Wafting all through the house she smelled the delicious scents of breakfast.
Taking a deep breath she sighed, "Michiru has outdone herself this morning."
In the background she heard violin music. Since she hadn't actually risen yet she didn't know if Michiru was playing the violin this morning or whether she had one of her CD's in the stereo. Either way the lyric strains sounded throughout the residence showcasing another of her lover's skills. Haruka loved listening to Michiru play. Somehow the smaller woman always managed to let her inner beauty flow out when she played, the emotions she normally kept tightly reined in sounded clearly with each crystal clear note. Haruka knew this was one of Michiru's greatest gifts. There were others who might be more technically perfect when they played, (though Haruka believed they were few in number) but the gift of expression, of letting their very souls sing with their music as they played, was one they lacked. You could feel the difference when they performed
Rising from her bed, Haruka stretched as she considered the fourth thing. She could almost feel Michiru's hands still upon her even though the other was not present. As tired as she might be, there was nothing that satisfied her need for companionship more than a night of passion with her lover. Last night had been passionate . . . and that in spades. Feeling sated, and a little tired, Haruka reached down and grabbed the first article of clothing she found and belted it on.
Rising Haruka wandered out of her room and toward the dining room. The first thing she was going to do was eat, then have her "talk" with Michiru, and finally get ready for school. It was Saturday, so she only had half a day's worth of classes to attend.
"Good morning papa," Hotaru chirped, still waiting by the door to make sure her Haruka-papa got up. The little warrior knew that her papa was awfully had to wake, many was the time she'd have to go get Michiru-mama to finally get her out of bed.
"Did you . . . Oh my." Hotaru stopped in mid sentence, blushing.
"What's wrong little one?" Haruka asked, still half asleep. She wouldn't really consider herself to be alive, let alone awake until after her second cup of caffeine. Coffee or tea it didn't matter to her just so Long as it was strong and hot.
"Uhmm, Nice robe papa," Hotaru's face had gone from slightly crimson to a full face, neck and shoulder blush, her pale skin now the crimson color of roses.
Hotaru turned away from her papa. While it was nice to see that she and mama were getting along despite all that had happened last night, there were some things that a young teenager did NOT want to know about her parents . . . even if they were adoptive parents and only a couple of years older than her.
Haruka paused, her mind still not firing on all cylinders, right now her mind was operating at about half-speed. Hotaru staring at her blushing, check. Quick tug at her waist to see if her robe was belted shut check. Take a closer look to see if she was wearing Michiru's robe, which was to small on her and didn't quite cover her bottom. Nope, it wasn't Michiru's robe. Take a still closer look at the robe . . . Oh, OH. Haruka felt her own face heat up as she realized that instead of her normal robe, she had grabbed the outer robe to her samurai outfit . . . making it more than clear to her daughter that her mama and papa had been playing games last night. The blush threatened to go nuclear as Haruka remembered the little role-playing session she had. Even as she blushed a wanton smile snaked across her face. She really did like playing the samurai-ko to Michiru's "maiden".
"Thanks Hotaru, Maybe I'll . . . "before she could finish she heard another all to chipper voice from another annoying and all to happy morning person.
"Hi Haruka," Haruka looked up to see the smiling face of Chibi-Usa, and the knowing smirk that somehow seemed out of place on her angelic visage.
"Be down in a minute," Haruka mumbled, darting back into her room. She emerged a few minutes later to the sounds of giggling from the future princess, a whispered comment followed by an indignant "Usa!!" from her daughter, and immediately following, the sounds of fake retching from her daughter.
Gathering the shards of her dignity about her, Haruka stomped down the stairs to the dining room followed by a pair of giggling "angels". As expected the table was loaded with goodies, the smell of which could tempt a monk into breaking his fasting vow. Sitting at the table was a mostly alive Setsuna, apparently she's had her first cup of liquid life and looked like a terminally ill patient instead of a zombie . . . and next to her was a very chipper Michiru.
Breakfast was a happy affair as they all concentrated on the food. Eventually their appetites sated the family pushed their plates and bowls toward the center of the table. Haruka eyed her companion carefully and saw past the perky exterior and saw the same nervousness hidden in Michiru's eyes that she'd seen last night.
Taking a deep breath Haruka opened the conversation.
"Michiru, you said you'd talk to us this morning."
Michiru nodded pensively, then looked around the table. Taking a deep breath of her own she began.
"I've been hiding something from all of you," her voice was soft and determined as she spoke. "I've been hiding my fighting skills for a Long time."
"Why mama?" Hotaru interjected, traces of hurt showing in her voice and in her wounded eyes.
"Well, it's a Long story . . ." Michiru continued, ". . . but I'll give you the short version now. I've known Saotome Nodoka for many years now. We met in a park when I was around eight or so years old. She was sitting there watching the children play and looked really sad and very lonely. I wasn't old enough to know better so I walked over and sat down next to her and we talked for a while. She was really nice . . . and she was indeed very lonely. Her son Ranma had been taken on a training trip and she hadn't seen him since his father had taken him. By the time I met her it had already been over two years since she'd seen her son. We talked and then she played with me for a while before she had to leave. After that I'd look for her in the park and talk to her. Mother and Father were always gone so after a while I considered her to be like a second mother. At least she was around for me and always found time to talk or play with me."
The others were quick to note the undertones of anger Michiru unconsciously held in her voice as she described in a short sentence what it was like for her adoptive parents to be always gone. They listened intently as Michiru continued.
"I was already studying Kempo a bit and when I found out she was a swordswoman I begged her to teach me the art of the blade. Eventually she gave in. I later found out she had to get permission from her sensei to teach me as she uses the Masaki family style. It turns out that she her best friend when she was in school had been trained by her father, Masaki Katsuhito, and Achika talked her dad into teaching mama Long."
"Mama!???" this time it was Haruka who interrupted, though she beat Chibi- Usa and Hotaru to the punch by the merest fraction of a second.
Michiru smiled uncertainly, then nodded. "We'd known each other for several months by then. I saw her several times a week and we'd grown very close." Michiru paused then added softly, "She was more like a parent to me than either Mother or Father by then. I'd seen more of her in those few months than I'd seen of them the entire year prior to that. I asked her if it was okay to call her mama."
Michiru's eyes grew moist and shined with unshed tears, "She just say there crying when I asked if she could be a second mama to me. I thought I'd done something wrong and was about to apologize when she grabbed me and just about hugged the life out of me. After that I started training with her, and boy was she a tough instructor. She made my Kempo sensei look like a sissy. We trained together for several years until she eventually said she'd taught me all she could. Mama Nodoka somehow talked her sensei into teaching me next. I studied with him for a couple of years."
"But why did you hide this." Setsuna already knew the answer, but also knew the others would want to know as well.
"Mother and Father were willing to let me study the sword, but they didn't want me to compete." Michiru answered. "So in order fight in tournaments used the name Azami and competed under that name. To make sure Mother and Father never found out I wore a wig and colored contacts. If they had found out they would've made me quit. By the time I was in High School, I'd been competing as Azami for several years. I couldn't just drop her and start over, there'd be to many questions, so I just kept using the alias."
"That still doesn't tell us why you hid it from us." Haruka prodded.
Michiru sighed again, "No it doesn't. Part of it was that it was fun to have a secret life." Michiru hedged. "I knew something that no-one else did. I just never thought it would get so out of hand."
Haruka nodded, though she wasn't convinced yet that this was the whole story. "So why didn't you tell us after we became Sailor Scouts?"
Michiru hesitated before answering as if she were weighing the words carefully.
"To be honest I didn't think it really mattered. I didn't have a sword for a focus and a regular blade won't do much damage to the things we fight. Besides, my sword skills don't help me use the mirror." Michiru finished wryly.
"But still you could've let me know, maybe trained me," Haruka interrupted again, frustration giving a shaper than intended edge to her words.
"No I couldn't," Michiru disagreed gently. "I had to promise Mama before I ever started training that I'd only teach my husband and children. Sensei Masaki made her so swear before he let her teach me, and I had to swear it to her on my honor. I thought that letting you know that I had these skills but couldn't share them would be worse than not telling you at all," Michiru finished guiltily.
Haruka nodded reluctantly. That matched what Michiru had told her last night and even made sense in a twisted sort of way. Michiru was wrong of course, but it did make sense . . . from a certain point of view.
"I'm hoping that now that maybe they'll let me teach you . . . if you want to learn." Michiru finished hopefully. "Given what we talked about last night anyway."
Lost in thought Haruka didn't answer and both Neptune and Uranus ignored the questioning looks from Saturn and Pluto and the smirk given by Chibi- Usa.
"At least I can still beat you hand to hand," Haruka quipped.
Still lost in her thoughts, and the hope that maybe she could learn the Misaki style the blond didn't catch Michiru's nearly, but not quite imperceptible flinch. Unfortunately for the aqua-tressed woman, the same could not be said for the rest of her audience.
Michiru calmed herself, plastering a serene look on her face.
"Looks like it's time for you to dress for school Love," Michiru prodded Haruka, "and the rest of you need to get ready as well."
"I'll drive you two to school," Haruka offered as she headed back upstairs.
"I'll take them where they need to go Haruka," Setsuna offered instead. "It won't be any trouble."
"Okay," Haruka agreed absently, "I'll see you all at the meeting at Rei's if not sooner."
Hotaru, Setsuna and Chibi-Usa nodded then the two girls darted past Haruka and up the stairs, they too had to get ready for their day . . . true, school wasn't part of their plan, but what Haruka didn't know about she couldn't question.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Girls, they've both left. Come downstairs so we can go," Setsuna yelled upstairs.
It hadn't taken the senshi of Pluto Long to dress. Instead of her usual business attire, she was dressed smartly, but comfortably clad in jeans and a light blouse, both of a rather dark green.
"Coming Setsuna-mama," Hotaru yelped her reply.
In just a few moments the three were gathered in the living room. Both of the girls were dressed casually as well, wearing jeans, light blouses and shod in tennis shoes. Hotaru was literally bouncing around the room as she tried to contain her excitement. She was gong to find out just what was going on with her other mama!
"Hotaru," Setsuna warned, "Remember your promise. Whatever we find out, whatever we see today you are NOT to interfere with it."
"I know Setsuna-mama,"
"The same goes for you Small Lady."
Setsuna fixed her red eyes on those of the future princess, bearing down on the chipper, smirking girl.
Chibi-Usa simply smiled, or rather grinned knowingly and agreed.
"Did you see mama flinch when papa said she could still beat her at hand to hand? I wonder what that was all about?" Hotaru mused.
"Hotaru, there is a lot about your mama that you don't know," Setsuna answered. "She's quite skilled at those arts as well. I don't know why she's been hiding her abilities, but we may find out today."
"What do you mean?"
"I've watched all of you in the past from time to time," the green-haired senshi answered. "Michiru is very skilled. She may well be as good unarmed as she is with the sword. But for some reason she's concealed those skills too."
Hotaru's eyes widened as she considered what her mama's words revealed, a feeling of numbed shock filling her with unease.
"But why," she breathed softly. "Why would she hide that too?"
Hotaru was confused to say the least. The last few days had been filled with surprise after surprise. It was discomforting, almost terrifying to find out that her mama was not who she thought she was. The young girl wondered just what else they'd discover today. Would her mama still be her mama when all was said and done? If there was one thing that she was frightened off, it was losing her family, losing the ones she had come to love as much if not more than her "real" parents. Hotaru took comfort in Usa's words from last night, the ones where Usa had said that mama and papa were still together in the future . . . but even so she was scared. She knew that the Crystal Tokyo Usa was from wasn't guaranteed, instead it was a matter of possibilities and if they were lucky probabilities, what it was not was a certainty.
"I don't know dear," Setsuna answered trying to comfort her young charge. "I do know that she loves us all very much, and that she's scared of losing us. That means she will do whatever it takes so that she doesn't lose us. That is what I'm counting on. That is where my hope lies. Now before we leave I need both of you to use your henshin rod's powers to disguise yourself. We don't want Michiru or anyone else seeing us today, at least not until we're ready."
Hotaru nodded, as she and Chibi-Usa complied with Setsuna's directive. Then she and Usa took Pluto's hand as they prepared to leave the comforting surroundings of their home.
The teleport was slightly disorienting, as was usual, and the trio found themselves in an alley a short distance from their target. A short saunter later there were there. Setsuna pointed at a nearby house indicating their target.
"Make yourself comfortable girls. This is our first stop. We will wait here for now, so keep an eye on that house there," Pluto pointed at a modest house with a small dojo attached. Setsuna was as good as her word, settling down to wait for whatever would happen next. The others quickly followed suit, sitting comfortably on a nearby bench
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The morning was crisp and cool, a lovely day in the mountains. The early morning sun bathed the area in a soft golden light. Birds darted from their nests and out into the cloudless blue expanse of the sky or darted about the thick grassy fields as they looked for their morning meal. Insects buzzed, chirped and otherwise sang their morning greeting as they hoped to avoid being that morning meal. All in all a rather tranquil and enjoyable morning in the country. Unfortunately the morning peace was soon broken by the sounds of violence.
"Ryoko! Prepare to die!!" came the battle cry of a regal looking teen with Long lustrous purple hair as she called forth the power that was her heritage. Summoning what looked to be miniature logs, she gestured and had them surround her enemy. Once they were in place they launched a storm of electricity at her foe. The target blinked her amber eyes, then disappeared from sight before the attack could hit, only to reappear a short distance away.
"Missed me Princess. What's the matter afraid you might break a nail? Or do you need to find a servant to do the work for you?" her foe called out, laughter ringing clearly in her voice as she floated a few yards above the ground.
The two eyed women each other, their faces flushed with anger. One dressed in purple robes fit for royalty, the other in a simple striped housedress of blue and yellow. Both exhibited powers far from the norm as they squared off. Even their looks were unusual, the cyan hair and amber eyes of one, the purple hair and eyes for the other telling even the least observant of watchers that there were not "typical" Japanese schoolgirls.
Before the fight was could escalate further the feuding pair were interrupted by a gentle young voice piercing the morning air.
"Ryoko! Ayeka! Breakfast is ready everyone's at the table except for you two."
Once more glares were exchanged that would have melted the finest of alloyed steel and perhaps killed lesser beings. The pair then turned away from each other and with a snarl from Ryoko and a Harumph and frown from Ayeka they entered the nearby house. Once inside they were met by a blue haired pre-teen girl whose frown made both feel about as big as a mouse.
"Go. Sit. And don't cause any more trouble. Grandfather is having breakfast with us and he say's he's got an announcement to make." Sasami ordered.
Neither warrior could stand against the tiny girl as she stared them down, tapping one foot impatiently and shaking a wooden spoon at them as if to punctuate "the talk" she was giving them.
"Yes Sasami," they chorused, then huffed again favoring each other with yet another fiery glare.
The Masaki house was full as the "family" gathered around the table. The patriarch, Masaki Katsuhito presided with an ease his grandson could only envy. Mihoshi and Kiyone of the Galaxy Police sat in their usual places, once again forced to move back after losing another apartment. The red- haired Washu made a few last keystrokes on the holographic keyboard in front of her before it disappeared and she took up her chopsticks instead. Ryoko settled in on the right side of one Masaki Tenchi, while Ayeka took the left and both wilting visibly at the stern gaze given to them by Katsuhito.
Everyone's attention turned to the veritable feast that lay before them, to busy eating for much conversation outside of an occasional request in the nature of "pass the rice please" or "hey give me some more of that" the manner of the request depending greatly on who was asking. Eventually though even the hungriest of appetites can be sated, and eventually they were done.
Katsuhito smiled mischievously, though the smile was only in his eyes and didn't grace his lips. Normally the very picture of a venerable priest, at times he let his prankster nature loose and this morning was one of those times.
"Tenchi."
"Yes grandfather."
"I would like you to stay home from school today."
Tenchi looked up at his grandfather, trying to discern why this rather strange request was being made. It wasn't that he minded staying home. It was rather that when his grandfather did something unexpectedly Tenchi was in for a surprise, and not all of them had proven to be pleasant.
"But why grandfather?" Tenchi's puzzled look carried over to his voice, punctuating the question asked with his tone.
"We are going to have company today."
"Who is it. Could it be that father or one of our mothers coming today?" Ayeka asked. She hadn't heard of any visit being scheduled, but who else could be coming that would require Tenchi to stay home. Not that she minded the thought of spending more time with her Tenchi, no she didn't mind that at all.
"No Ayeka it isn't them. Two students of mine are coming later today."
Katsuhito began laying his trap very carefully.
"But why would Tenchi want to hang around while you visit with a couple of old dried up priests?"
This time it was Ryoko asking the question.
The priest gave one of his maddening smiles as he watched Tenchi working the problem through. He began counting down, 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . Before he reached one Katsuhito saw the light coming on in Tenchi's face.
"Mi-chan is coming?!!! Wow, I haven't seen her . . . "
Tenchi swore he could see his breath in the air before him as he stopped in mid-sentence, it was as if an polar wind had suddenly blown through the house. The young prince shot a laser edged glare at his grandfather before looking cautiously to his left. Ayeka's face was a mask . . . a very, very scary emotionless mask. Gulping Tenchi looked to his right, Ryoko's mask wasn't emotionless, but was just as scary. The former space pirate was definitely on the edge of being very pissed off.
Two girls, both hundreds of years old, both aliens, both possessing powers that few humans could withstand, both used to getting their way and right now both were focused on one human/jurian hybrid, one Misaki Tenchi. The pair were sometimes enemies and sometimes friends but one thing could unite the two most forward of Tenchi's suitors . . . a potential rival and right now they were they ever united.
"Lord Tenchi," caroled Ayeka, "Who is Mi-chan?"
"Yeah Tenchi," Ryoko echoed in refrain, "Who IS Mi-chan?"
Tenchi gulped and prayed, he just hoped Tsunami was listening as he opened his mouth.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma bounced down the sidewalk toward her mama's house. She appeared oblivious to her surroundings so deep in thought was the young woman. In her case not only were appearances deceiving they were dead wrong. Even as lost in her own thoughts as she was, her ki senses flowed around her ever alert for an attack.
"I hate shading the truth with my family," Ranma mused, "But I don't know how they would handle the truth." A smile lit her face as she considered the evening just past. Despite what Haruka had found out, her love had not turned her away, instead she had reaffirmed their love. Ranma hoped the Haruka would feel the same when the latest secrets were revealed, she knew that she couldn't stand to lose them . . .any of them.
What she'd told Haruka was the truth, just not all of it. She had met her mother in the park just as she'd said.
* * * * * * * * * * * * Flashback
"I love coming to the part Toyo," chibi-Ranma/Michiru looked up at her companion with a pixie grin on her face.
Her nanny looked down indulgently. Matsurugi Toyo had been hired by the Kaiou's shortly after they adopted Michiru. A tall woman with classic looks and restrained mannerisms she'd been just what they'd been looking for. Someone who would teach the rather tomboyish daughter they'd adopted to be a lady, to be a credit to her new Clan. Toyo knew that Michiru had been adopted as a showpiece, and it cut her to the quick to know that. The Kaiou's had wanted a child to show off, and wanted one that might have some gagin blood in her to show just how progressive they were . . . and to help with their American contacts. Little Michiru had seemed to fit the bill perfectly. Michiru's features were Japanese through and through, but her fiery hair was not. In their eyes she combined the best of both worlds. If they wanted they could die her hair and she'd look Japanese, or leave it as it was and look like the progressives they claimed to be.
However, when she'd been hired she'd also been told to "train little Michiru up right." A task that at times seemed impossible. A true professional though she'd risen to the challenge, and despite an occasional stubborn refusal to cooperate, Michiru seemed determined to help . . . at least with most things.
Toyo shook her head, it was almost scary at times just how quickly the girl learned, and it didn't seem to matter what was being taught. When Michiru wanted to learn nothing could stop her it seemed.
There were times though when Toyo saw something deep in her charge's eyes that made her seem much older than the eight years she actually was. Toyo had learned quickly to make compromises, and to help her ward conceal the parts of her that her parents disapproved of so Long as those parts weren't dangerous or to improper.
Toyo still remembered catching her charge practicing her Art. She'd only been with the Kaiou's a few months then. She'd woke and decided to see if Michiru was up, only to find the girl's bed empty. Frantic, she'd searched the house from top to bottom, only to find Michiru in the garage doing katas, katas that should've been far beyond the skills of anyone so young. When she'd asked Michiru about it, the rascal had simply grinned up at her with that sly smile she was so good at producing and told her that her father had started training her as soon as she could walk. The smile had quickly faded. Toyo assumed that the girl was thinking about the accident that had killed her parents and had let the matter drop.
Not long after that Michiru had been particularly resistant to an etiquette lesson she was trying to get across. Sudden inspiration hit and Toyo decided to cut a deal with the child. She'd not only allow Michiru to continue her study of the Art, she'd help arrange sensei to teach her, in return Michiru had to agree to cooperate with her other lessons, ALL of her other lessons. It had been relatively easy to talk the Kaiou's into agreeing to let Michiru train. She'd simply emphasized the need for physical exercise and stressed as well the discipline and confidence that training in the traditional Japanese martial arts would give their daughter.
Toyo shook her head as she though about just how far Michiru had taken that training. Every sensei had been amazed as she took to the training like a duck to water. Michiru was amazing, more than one had called her a prodigy. She was already a second dan black belt in Kempo and she had kept up her end of the bargain and poured herself into her other lessons just as intently. Michiru's skill with the violin still amazed the nanny.
"Can I go play now Toyo?" Michiru pulled impatiently at her nanny's hand.
"Yes dear, I'll sit here and watch."
Ranma quickly ran off to play. She hadn't been playing Long though when she spotted someone sitting alone on a bench. The woman sat quietly doing nothing more than watching the children play, a wistful look etched on her face. It took a few moments, and then recognition hit her. That was Saotome Nodoka sitting there. Despite her resolve to the contrary, Ranma felt her heart going out to her mama.
Darting over she stopped in front of the sad looking woman.
"Hi, I'm Kaiou Michiru." Ranma put on her cutest smile.
Her heart leaped when an answering smile crept across her mama's face.
"Saotome Nodoka," came the warm reply. "I'm pleased to meet you."
Ranma vowed then to be part of her mama's life. She might only be able to do so as Michiru, but she'd do her best to make sure her mama wasn't alone for the next ten years. Still, she had a part to play. She might never be able to let Nodoka know just who she was, but she could still bring some light to her mama's life.
"Are you here by yourself?" Ranma asked innocently.
A cloud flickered across Nodoka's face.
"Yes I am child."
"Would you play with me?"
Before the older woman could reply she was interrupted.
"Michiru, what have I told you about bothering people?" a stern voice asked.
Ranma looked up at her nanny.
"But Toyo, I wasn't bothering her, I was just talking to her," Ranma put on her most innocent expression.
"Now Michiru, I heard you ask her to play with you," came the firm rejoinder.
"It's alright," Nodoka interrupted the scolding, "She wasn't bothering me. Is she your daughter?"
Toyo shook her head, "No, I'm her nanny. Her parents are away most of the time and they hired me to look after the little scamp."
"Oh," Nodoka paused consideringly, "Would it be okay for me to play with her? My son is gone on a trip with his father and . . . "
"Well," Toyo took her time answering. The woman in front of her was well dressed and seemed nice. "If you don't mind I don't. I'll just sit here and watch."
Ranma's smile was blinding as she grabbed her mama's hand and led her to the swings.
The afternoon passed quickly for the pair and all to soon it ended.
"Michiru, it's time to go," Toyo's voice interrupted the pair.
Nodoka stopped the swing regretfully and let the child down. Ranma was sure that the smile on her face went from ear to ear. She'd had so much fun, and she'd never really seen this side of her mama before.
"It looks like I've got to go," Ranma paused considering her words. "We come here almost every day, will you come and play with me some more?"
Nodoka felt her heart fly into her throat at the question. She looked down at the elfin girl and nodded. It had felt so good to have a child again, even if it were someone else's and even if it was only for a little while.
The next few months followed that pattern. The trio would meet at the part and Michiru would play. Sometimes with just Nodoka, sometimes with both. Ranma had seldom been so happy.
Toyo and Nodoka became quite good friends, and when Nodoka's skill with the sword came to light it seemed only natural for Toyo to suggest that Nodoka teach it to Michiru. It had taken a bit of work . . . and Nodoka getting permission from her sensei, but it had been worth it. The Art of the Sword had drawn the two even closer as they shared a passion that was all but incomprehensible to one who did not share it.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma's shook her head, smiling at the warm memories. The training had brought them closer together and sealed the bond that had begun with a simple afternoon of play. She still remembered the day she had slipped and called Nodoka mama, she'd been about twelve at the time, (subjectively at least).
The older woman had frozen in mid-kata then stopped the lesson. The swordswoman looked at her with a mixed smile and frown before asking why . . . why she had called her that. Ranma shuddered, that had been close, she'd managed to avoid lying by simply giving her mama her best killer smile and telling her (some) of the truth. She'd told Nodoka that she loved her and that she was like a second mama to her.
The full truth would've been harsher, and something that Nodoka would've been honor bound to stop. If she had told the full truth, that she considered Nodoka more her mama than the woman who had adopted her it would've been . . . bad. To this day Ranma was sure that having lost her own son for so Long Nodoka would've felt compelled to end their relationship. Would've tried to stop the growing bond they shared so that the relationship between the her adoptive parents and "Michiru" could be repaired.
If the truth were to be told, Ranma considered her adoptive mother to be just that. A woman who was bound to her by law and obligation, the same for her father. To this day the more formal words were all she could find in her heart to describe them. What hurt was that they never seemed to even notice the distance between themselves and Michiru, so Long as she was their "dutiful daughter".
Ranma respected their talents and appreciated them taking her in, but they were gone so often that a true bond had never formed. No, what she felt for them was respect, an honor debt that she would try her best to repay, accordingly they were mother and father. What she felt for Nodoka was all the love from her life as "Ranma/Ranko" taken to a much higher power. Nodoka was her mama, and with that word went all the emotions that it carried. The bond she had formed with Nodoka was one of love, pure and true, sullied only by her resolution not to tell her mama just who she was. That resolution had eventually fallen, and despite her fears no harm had come from finally telling her mama the truth.
Still smiling Ranma brought her mind back to the present. She knew that she should be concentrating on what was yet to come today instead of what she might have to face later. She would eventually have to deal with her family and the other Senshi but that was later. Right now she needed to stop reminiscing about the past and concentrate on the now.
Be that as it may, she was finding it difficult not dwell on her original plans, their demise, and to recall just how she got into the predicament that she found herself in today. As important as her appointment with Happosai was, she couldn't force her mind away from her family.
"It's like I've built a house of cards," she mused, "It looks sturdy enough, but remove one card and the whole thing may come tumbling down." The thought was depressing . . . and downright frightening. She had worked so hard to build her new life, and she could lose it all if things didn't play out right.
Ranma knew that part of the reason she'd been so successful in hiding her past was that no one had been looking for the truth. It had all seemed so easy when she had first come up with her plan, after all who believed in time-travel. No one that she knew of, other than those with first hand knowledge of the Nanban Mirror, would even suspect it was possible to travel in time.
Ranma had made his/her plans carefully. Lock her curse so that even if she were found out there was no way for her to honor the various engagements. Start over so she could learn what life was really all about. Even then Ranma had known there was more to life than martial arts. He just hadn't known how to go about finding out what that was or how to learn the life skills he needed. He'd never had the free time to do anything about it or to even try to learn them. The fiancée mess had seen to that. Just how was he to protect everyone's honor, how was he to "choose".
It sounded so easy when the others said it. "Just choose," they'd say. Yeah right. If he chose Akane, then Shampoo was going to be dishonored and face an even more drastic punishment than her curse. Ukyo was in the same boat. She either had to marry or kill him to regain her own honor, and if he picked either of them then Akane's honor was tarnished.
Ranma absently kicked a rock as she walked. No, the only way out she'd been able to come up with she'd taken. It hadn't been an easy choice, actually it was born out of desperation. He'd spent nearly two years in Nerima trying to find an honorable way out of his predicament and had failed. "The Plan" had seemed like the only way out. Now, because she'd gotten a bit complacent and because she'd wanted to have a child of her own she was risking it all.
"Of course it couldn't turn out to be as easy as I'd planned," this time a rueful grin spread across her face, making her appear even cuter than usual. "First the Musk got me at Jusenko . . . then when I got that taken care of, and actually got my plan back on track what happens? Could I be granted the opportunity to just live a normal life as Michiru? Hell no. I can't just be her, live to the present and face Happosai to take back my right to practice Anything Goes."
Ranma shook her head disgustedly, "Of course it hadn't worked out that easily. I'd originally intended to do just that. I didn't have any really close friends who'd know any different. Hell even if they found out about my skills I could just say my sensei forbade using them for show, that they were only for defense. That's a common thread after all of real martial artists. But no, I had to be "awakened". Instead, two years or so before my meeting with Happosai, two years before today, I find out I'm a Magical Girl, the Princess of Neptune no less."
Instead of regaining her Art and moving on like she'd originally planned, now she had obligations, obligations that far outweighed her desire to hide her past. Sailor Neptune had a job to do and friends to help, and if she didn't do her job innocents would suffer.
One thing hadn't changed in any of her lives. Saotome Ranma never abandoned a friend in need, never refused to help when she could. She also had her duty to her Princess, and duty tied her with bonds just as strong as those of her friendship with the other girls. Unfortunately with these ties came another problem. If everything did come to light what were they going to think of her? Could they accept her past? She'd fought the idea of being a senshi. Then when she had to surrender that fight, she had to try and find a way to explain her skills in the Art once she'd regained her right to it.
Her first, (and current) plan was to claim they were part of Neptune that she'd just begun to recall, at least as far as the hand to hand skills were concerned. Unfortunately Pluto and Saturn might be able to put a kibosh to that idea. Ranma didn't know how skilled she'd been in her prior life, but they would know. She'd just have to be careful. Right now all she could do was move on, move up and hope for the best. Still, she knew that it was going to take a lot of talking to get herself out of the hole that she'd dug herself into. Ranma did not look forward to explaining why she'd never been able to use the Art to help her friends when she had the skills. She was more than a little afraid that the truth, her oath with Happosai would do little to assuage their anger.
Ranma snorted wryly, "Can you believe it. Saotome Ranma is a magical girl. Probably supposed to have been born a girl in the first place. Kami must have a really strange sense of humor. I just hope I can keep things under control. If I'm not really careful all my secrets are going to be coming out of the closet."
Ranma ignored the stares she was getting from the guys she passed. Oh, she took more than a little pride in her looks, but despite accepting her "destiny" despite being completely comfortable with being a girl she still did not like boys.
"Damn I hated the curse. I only accepted it because it looked like the only way out."
Almost despite herself the grin widened. "It's been worth it though. I love Haruka, that tomboy's been the best thing to ever happen to me and if I wasn't a girl she'd never have fallen for me."
A pang of sadness flickered though her heart and across her face as she recalled the only other woman she'd loved with that kind of intensity. A woman she'd been forced to leave so many years ago. Shaking her head Ranma told herself once again that she'd had no choice, that it wouldn't have worked out anyway. The past had already been written, and she written out of it. If she had changed the past, if it were possible, how would the present/future changed. Still, as much as she loved Haruka, as much as she knew Haruka was her soul mate, part of her still wondered if things could've been different with her.
"Doesn't matter anyway," she told herself unconvincingly. "I don't think she loved me that way anyhow."
Ranma conveniently forgot to remember the oath her "sister" had wanted them to take. The oath to be "sworn sisters" and to share their lives. During her first "new life" Ranma had learned a lot, but even at the end she wasn't that perceptive about her own relationships. Sure she had gotten better at spotting attraction when it involved someone else . . . but not when she was the object of affection.
Returning to her brooding, Ranma continued to walk toward her mama Nodoka's house. "I should've just told Haruka that we could get an anonymous donor, but noooo I didn't want to lie to her . . . and still don't" Ranma admitted hesitantly to herself. What am I going to do when she asks more questions?"
The blue-eyed girl was dreading the time when Haruka would find out about her true skills in the Art. Truth be told, Ranma was more powerful now than she'd ever been. She certainly wasn't invincible, but she was undoubtedly tough. She'd find out how tough later today. Ranma smirked Happosai was in for a surprise. Still, as she'd just admitted she wasn't quite the best. Sensei Masaki could probably still wipe the floor with her if he tried.
Of course she'd not had the "power up" that being Sailor Neptune brought, but she still wasn't sure she could handle him even with that factor added in, Sensei was just to skilled. As Sailor Neptune she was Ranma squared, or maybe even cubed, but Masaki Katsuhito was amazingly good, both with and without the blade he favored.
No doubt Mercury could calculate the difference in power levels between "Michiru" and "Neptune" but Ranma didn't really care to hear just what the multiplier was, she just knew she was "supercharged" as a Sailor. She knew only to well that even that didn't mean she was invulnerable, (she could and had been hurt while Neptune as more than one encounter with the Negaverse had proven) but it did mean she was much more capable than before.
It had been difficult to hide her activities from everyone, but she'd never given up training, not in her past life, and not as Michiru. Her ki control now would've amazed the "old" Ranma, and her ability in the Art's physical aspects hadn't been allowed to languish either.
Ranma knew she could lie, and quite well, she was no longer "cursed' with the "old Ranma's" inability to tell any kind of believable lie. She could and would lie in a good cause, but hiding things from her family didn't meet this definition in her own mind. No, she'd have to do what she could and hope for the best.
Ranma was still lost in her thoughts when she discovered that she'd stopped walking. She blinked her sapphire eyes and looked up to find that she was standing outside her mama's house. Ranma shook her head and entered, paying no attention to the "mother" and her two "daughters" taking a break on a nearby bench. Instead she opened the gate to her mama's house and entered. It was time to focus on what was now and what was yet to come today.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Michiru, It's so good to see you,"
Saotome Nodoka looked down at the daughter she had, yet didn't. Michiru had been her "daughter" in all but name for many years now and the elder woman had loved her as if she were her own even before she knew the truth. Then she found out that Michiru was her daughter . . . errr son Ranma, his/her curse permanently locked. The taller woman shook her head ruefully. If it hadn't been for the unbelievable weirdness that she'd already seen surrounding her son like a dark cloud she never would have believed it She still remembered the day Michiru revealed the truth. The girl had appeared at her house for one of her periodic visits, but had shown signs of extreme nervousness. When Michiru revealed the truth her first response was uncharacteristic of her, she had fainted. When she woke Michiru had told her the entire, impossible story. With the proof Michiru had given she was unable to dispute the tale. Finally, after so many years alone her child was back in her life and it turned out that she had been "back" for years. The only fly in the ointment was that she had to drop her secret dream of marrying Ranma to her young student.
"Hi mama," Michiru returned the greeting, then still on the doorstep pulled her mama into a tight hug. "Today is the day."
"Yes it is Michiru. Come in, everything is already set up for you."
Nodoka led her daughter into the kitchen and began the process of turning Michiru back into Ranma-chan.
"Do you think you are ready dear?" Nodoka asked as she began shampooing the Long blue hair that was Michiru's trademark.
"I think so mama," Michiru purred, basking in the simple pleasure of having someone else take care of her blue mop. "I've been waiting a very Long time for this."
"Yes you have. I hope it goes well," Nodoka shuddered as she considered the train wreck that had been her daughter's life.
It still surprised her that Ranma/Michiru had turned out as well as she did. Her life had been difficult and she might just have as easily shattered under the strain. Not only had things been hard as "Ranma" but it couldn't have been easy to accept, nay embrace the curse the way that Michiru had been forced to do. Lesser mortals had lost their sanity under conditions less extreme. If she ever had doubts about Ranma's worthiness they had vanished when Nodoka realized the lengths Ranma had went to in order to salvage everyone's honor.
The two made small talk while Nodoka worked. The shampoo was followed by a rinse, then the dye. Shortly thereafter Michiru regained the fiery locks that had been "Ranko's" Nodoka knew that Michiru had changed its color years ago to prevent recognition by the Nerima Wrecking Crew and friends. Michiru had made the change about three years before "Ranma" was due to arrive. The elder Saotome still smiled when she recalled the shocked look she'd had when she first saw the "new look" Michiru had adopted when she chose the aqua color for her hair.
Nodoka now knew the reason for the change was so that even her friends would no longer comment about the change, nor would her mama when "Ranko" arrived.. With Ryouga's wandering ways you never knew when or where he'd show up . . . other than it was usually at the worst possible time for Ranma, hence the very early change in hue.
Nodoka looked at the transformed girl and shook her head. Even when Ranma had been pretending to be "Ranko" they had received many comments about how they looked alike. Now that Michiru was eighteen and had physically matured the resemblance was more than remarkable, it was striking. The young woman sitting in front of her was her mirror image, a younger image true, but still nearly identical in her appearance, only the eyes and hairstyle were different.
Chuckling softly, Nodoka looked with loving eyes at her daughter. Her only regret now, after having grown so close to Michiru, was that they were no longer legally "family". Nodoka knew however that however the "law" and "society" saw them, they were family. They were joined by blood and love . . . and nothing could change that.
"Let's go upstairs and get you changed," Nodoka prodded. "We have to catch the train in twenty minutes."
Ranma took a final look in the mirror seeing once again the fiery tresses that she had hated for so Long. It had taken her years to fully accept her choice. Yes, she had made the decision to "live" as a girl, but she had done so only grudgingly at first. Now she wouldn't change back even if she could.
They were walking through the living room when Nodoka felt Michiru stopping behind her.
"Mama. What are these?"
Nodoka froze, then turned, her heart dropping at her feet. Had she forgotten to put those blasted papers up? Finishing her turn the samurai- ko stopped dead in her tracks and softly curses under her breath. She had forgotten them.
"Uhmm Michiru," Nodoka sighed. "I guess I ought to tell you. I was going to wait until tonight since you have so much going on today, but I guess the Kami's decided you should know about my secret now instead of later."
"What is it mama?"
"As of this morning I am no longer Saotome Nodoka."
"What?!!" Nodoka heard the younger woman's voice rise in shock.
"I divorced your Genma. The paperwork came this morning," Nodoka answered.
Though outwardly calm, she knew that she should have waited. While she was confident in Michiru/Ranma's skills, Happosai was no pushover. Michiru needed to be at the top of her game and not worrying about other things. True after Saffron it was clear that Michiru had the raw power to defeat the Grandmaster of Anything Goes, but this was a martial arts duel. No killing attacks were allowed, and quite frankly some of Michiru's abilities with ki were deadly if handled wrong or with an unsettled spirit.
Nodoka looked into the sapphire eyes of her daughter. At first she saw confusion, then they cleared and her daughter smiled up at her.
"Good for you mama. You are young and pretty, you should look for someone who would be worthy of your love."
This caught Nodoka by surprise. "I'm not to sure about that dear."
"I'm sure mama." Michiru answered softly, then continued with a roguish grin, "You look like me and I'm gorgeous."
Despite herself, Nodoka could feel an answering grin spread across her face. The words from her daughter felt so good to hear. Even though she could see the laughter in Michiru's face and voice, the words themselves were true, and after so Long a time alone the thought of finding a man she could love and trust was tempting. After all, Michiru was a striking young woman, and they did look much alike. Unfortunately, Michiru didn't drop the conversation there but pressed on.
"Mama, If you aren't a Saotome then what is your name?"
Nodoka steeled herself as she answered. Michiru wasn't going to like this one bit.
"I'm ronin dear. My family disowned me when I married Genma. Mother and Father have passed on, and my brother Nagoya refuses to talk to me."
Nodoka hurried to continue, seeing the stubborn, and more than a little angry, look in Michiru's eyes. "Don't worry about me dear. I'd rather be ronin than married to that man anymore." With a sudden shift of topics Nodoka continued, "Did you know that neither he nor Tendo Soun have bothered to tell me that Ranma's been missing for months? Every time I go over it's the same. "You just missed him Nodoka," or "He's on a training trip Nodoka,"
"Don't be sad dear. I'm more relieved than anything," Nodoka finished as they walked into Ranma's room. There on the bed was one of "Ranma's" trademark Chinese outfits. The only change was the substitution of panties for boxers and the addition of a sports bra to the mix.
Michiru paused, partially disrobed and looked at her mama. Nodoka could see the twinkle in her eyes, it was as if the girl was planning to get revenge for something . . . good-natured revenge, but revenge just the same.
"You know mama, Masaki sensei is a fine figure of a man for an older gentleman."
"Michiru! He's old enough to be my father. In fact he was my best friend Achika's father."
"That just makes him mature mama," Michiru fired back, humor evident in her voice. "But if you don't like him, Ten-chan's father has been a widow for a Long time . . . and you know he's a "manly man."
Nodoka tried her best to frown at her daughter but the expression went for naught as she dissolved into laughter. What Michiru didn't know was that her first crush was Masaki Katsuhito and even given the age difference if she thought there was a real possibility . . . . Nodoka pointed her finger at her daughter. "Now behave young woman. Finish dressing and then we need to go. I told sensei we'd be there early to visit a while before the duel, and I'm sure you'd like to spend some time with Tenchi . . . .he's such a nice young man." This time it was Nodoka gently teasing her daughter.
"Mama! You know I've got a girlfriend, why would I want to chase Tenchi. Even if I have to admit that if I liked boys Tenchi would be a good catch."
Nodoka sighed, "I know dear, but I wish . . . "
"Wish what mama?"
"Nothing dear."
"It's not nothing mama, what is it?" Michiru pressed.
Nodoka shook her head sadly, "I just sometimes wish for grandchildren."
"Mama?"
"Yes dear."
"When this is over today, however it turns out, would you . . . would you like to meet Haruka, Hotaru and Setsuna?"
Nodoka felt her heart leap at her daughter's words. Michiru's words were soft, hesitant and laced with more than a little trepidation, but they were words that the elder woman had wanted to hear for so Long. Even before she found out Michiru was her daughter Ranma, she had been a little hurt that the younger woman didn't invite her family over to visit. They shared so much that it had felt . . . odd, to be excluded from this facet of Michiru's life, odd and somehow wrong. Michiru had talked about her "family," oh how she had talked, but not once had Michiru responded to hints that Nodoka wanted to meet them.
Once she had found out Michiru's secret, the omission had become tolerable, though never enjoyed. Now it seemed that her daughter in all but name wanted her to truly become part of her new family. The smile that blossomed on Nodoka's face was as welcome as the sun after a Long cold night, and twice as bright.
"Nothing would make me happier dear. I've wanted to meet them for a Long time."
"I know mama, but I wasn't sure how to set it up," Michiru paused, "Mama, they still don't know everything . . . I mean . . . "
"Daughter, you really need to tell them. Secrets can be like deep wounds, if they aren't exposed and cleaned they'll only fester and grow worse."
Nodoka heard her daughter sigh. "I know mama, but I'm afraid. What if I lose them?"
"If they love you they'll stay with you," Nodoka paused to collect her own thoughts. "I'm not saying that it won't be rough. You may have to work really hard at rebuilding the trust you have with them, but . . . "a grin spread across her serene face, "Kaiou Michiru never loses."
Nodoka's sally was rewarded with the bell-like tinkling of her daughter's laughter.
Yes mama," Michiru answered, the impish grin never leaving her face, as she pondered the possibilities as well. "Uh, mama," she continued hesitantly. "What would you say if I told you Haruka and I were thinking of having a baby. I uh, well I . . . "
"What is it dear?"
"I . . . well before I had my curse locked Ranma made a "deposit" at a clinic in Nerima and well . . . if we have a baby it will be "Ranma's" too," with much blushing and stammering Michiru finally finished her sentence.
The nova-like smile on her mama's face was reward enough for the embarrassment she felt.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"How Long do you think they'll be in there mama?" Hotaru questioned for the twelfth time her impatience clear in her voice.
"I don't know dear. Be patient we'll . . . "Setsuna hadn't even finished her response before Hotaru's question was answered. Pluto's voice trailed off as she sat there in amazement.
Michiru was leaving the house with another woman . . . one who looked like a slightly older version of the Neptune Princess. Everything about the pair screamed "These two are mother and daughter" Their hair was the same fiery red, the older woman was slightly taller, but they shared the same voluptuous build . . . they even walked the same with a sinuous . . . and definitely sexy walk that was likely to stop traffic. Other than the height and age difference only their clothing didn't match. Pluto's eyes bulged as she took in Michiru's outfit. What was the normally impeccably dressed Michiru doing wearing a set of Chinese silks that were at least three sizes to large? Heck it looked like she was swimming in them. Setsuna had to admit they made her look awfully cute, but that still didn't answer the question of why she was wearing them.
The normally inscrutable expression she normally wore was traded in for a look of utter astonishment. Just what the hell was going on? Michiru was an orphan . . . if she wasn't then why had she been in the orphanage. Setsuna knew that Michiru had been adopted. Heck she had even watched Michiru in the orphanage a few time for Kami's sake. Who was this woman and who was she to Michiru?. The momentary loss of control was quickly over and Setsuna glanced over at her companions.
Hotaru's expression mirrored her own. Obviously the young girl hadn't ever seen her Michiru-mama dressed like this, and she was just as much as a loss as to who the other woman was. Setsuna heard her whisper a single word, a name . . . "Ranko". Hotaru seemed at a loss though, as confusion was dripping from her words like rain from the roof after a thunderstorm.
Switching her gaze to Usa, Setsuna noted, with some annoyance, a look of satisfaction mixed with glee. Obviously the young Moon Princess knew the other woman . . . and likely knew just what was going on.
They waited for the pair to pass, and could make out part of their conversation. Michiru was saying something about inviting her family over for a visit tomorrow. The older woman nodded, her eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree as she confirmed that she was looking forward to that.
When the pair was safely out of sight Setsuna rounded on her two charges.
"Hotaru, who is Ranko?"
"I'm not sure Setsuna-mama," Hotaru responded. "She was in a couple of pictures that Tendo Kasumi showed me yesterday. They didn't talk about her much, just said her name was Tendo Ranko and that she was living at the dojo with the Tendos and Saotomes. It was kind of strange though. Kasumi started to tell me about her and mama cut her off. She said it wasn't important. The thing was she was dressed just like that . . . just like mama was now."
"Was there anything else?" Setsuna probed further.
"Just that Ranko had been living at the dojo for the last couple of years. Setsuna-mama, what is going on? Is Michiru-mama Ranko? If she is how did she pull it off and why?"
Setsuna turned to the remaining member of the trio, to be joined by Hotaru as they gave the gimlet eye to Chibi-Usa.
"Well Small Lady, what can you tell us about this?"
Their only answer was a short. "I can't tell you yet," and the smug, almost evil grin plastered across the young girls expressive face.
"You do know what they say about payback don't you Usa-chan," Hotaru threatened/warned after hearing the non-answer her best friend offered.
If anything the neo-princess's infernal grin only widened, as she nodded but didn't speak another word.
Hotaru and Setsuna sighed in unison and exchanged a frustrated look.
Setsuna was the first to find her voice. "I told myself to be at the next location just before noon. That's still about three hours from now. Should we go home and wait or kill some time at the mall?"
"The mall," Usa advised.
"The mall Setsuna-mama," Hotaru agreed, "I don't think I could take just sitting and waiting."
"The mall it is then," Setsuna agreed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Two hours, a train ride and taxi later Nodoka and Ranma stood at the foot of the pathway leading to the Misaki shrine and the home of their sensei.
Ranma looked at her mother, a gentle smile on her face.
"One way or the other this is going to be over soon."
"One way or the other," Nodoka agreed, "Are you ready?"
"I think so mama. Let's go see Sensei and Tenchi."
The walk was peaceful. The sun was shining, the birds singing. The Masaki shrine was like an oasis of peace in a world that was often turbulent and unsettling. To walk these woods was like going back three hundred years, no sign of modern Japan could be seen from here. The women could literally feel the aura of calm that permeated the countryside. It didn't take Long before they arrived at a fork in the path, one way led further up the mountainside, the other toward a rather large house they could see in the distance.
"Sensei said to meet him at the house," Nodoka offered, "He also said they had guests living there now."
"The house it is then," Ranma agreed.
A few minutes later they arrived. The house itself was a wooden structure with two and a half or three stories, depending on how you counted it. It was well built and seemed to meld into the area without disturbing the tranquility of the small meadow it was located in.
Ranma pushed the doorbell and could hear a gentle chiming echo though the house, the sound followed by light rapid footsteps.
The door opened and a gentle voice greeted them, "Hello, can I help you?"
Ranma looked down into the incredibly cute face of a young pre-teen. She had Long bluish hair, nearly the shad of her own locks when "colored". The girl had a friendly smile on her face and pink eyes twinkled merrily as if the girl knew the punch line to a very amusing joke. She was dressed in an unusual housedress that just seemed to fit her personality to a tee.
"I am Sat . . . Nodoka, and this is Kaiou Michiru." Nodoka began the introductions, paused to correct herself then finished with a bow to their hostess.
Ranma echoed the bow and felt a smile forming on her lips. The girl just had that effect on her.
"We are here to see Sensei Masaki," Ranma added.
"Yes, grandfather said that he was expecting guests. Please come in."
Ranma looked at the girl questioningly, then stepped out of her shoes and entered as requested. Ranma was puzzled by the girl's answer. She thought that Tenchi was Katsuhito's only grandchild, and this girl was obviously to old to be Tenchi's child unless he had adopted Sasami like she had Hotaru.
When they entered the house they saw several other's present and waiting. Ranma spotted her sensei, seemingly untouched by time, as he looked no older than the first time Ranma had seen him. His aura of power was untouched as well, and told her that all was well with her sensei. Ranma still recalled the first time she had sensed her sensei's battle aura, she had been astounded to discover that it was stronger than both Ku Lon and Happosai and gratified to learn that the sword master was willing to teach her.
Ranma then looked over at Tenchi. Ten-chan looked the same physically, but his aura was unbelievably stronger. It was as if he was at a whole new level. Ranma's mouth watered at the though of sparring with her friend. Tenchi gave her a rather strained smile, strained probably due to the pair of stunningly attractive women hanging on his arms.
On the left was a regal looking woman in formal robes of a type Ranma had never seen before. They were reminiscent of a kimono, but were subtly different in cut and style. She had Long purple hair and matching purple eyes. The expression on her face was one that Ranma was only to familiar with, they were appraising her with a rather "Nabiki like" gaze, but the grip she had on Tenchi's arm was far from emotionless and said MINE in no uncertain terms.
Where the woman on the left radiated poise and gave Ranma the impression of royalty, the woman glomped, (and there was no better expression than that to use) on Ten-chan's right arm was a study in opposites. Where as the purple-haired girl's very being screamed nobility, the cyan haired woman with amber eyes was the embodiment of sensuality. Her eyes were much more open in their message. Her eyes said, "Touch him and die".
Three others of note also sat around the table. There was a deeply tanned blond with a body to die for and next to her an attractive woman with Long teal colored hair. Pretty, very pretty indeed but with the look Ranma had seen best shown by Long service policemen, a look that was impersonally friendly, but ever so watchful. This one was all business. The final member was a young girl with wild red hair of her own. Its color matched the fiery locks of Ranma and her mother, but where theirs was restrained this girl's was wild and untamed, flowing nearly to the floor. In some ways her hair reminded Ranma of the amber-eyed girl's hair, but the girl clinging to Tenchi was to young to have a daughter that old. Perhaps they were sisters?
"Aunty Nodoka, Michiru, it's good to see you again," Tenchi greeted the pair.
Ranma couldn't resist. A pout formed on her full lips at the greeting and a kawaii frown creased her forehead.
"Ten-chan, why so formal? What happened to Mi-chan?"
Nodoka found herself fighting back a smile, an expression she saw mirrored on her sensei's normally impassive face.
"Uhmm, Maybe I'd better introduce you to everyone," Tenchi evaded uncomfortably.
"But Ten-chan . . . "Ranma pouted, the expression somehow becoming even more cute than before, if that was even possible. "I haven't seen you in so Long . . . no hug and kiss for me now?"
Ranma could see the two women stiffen as her words sank in . . . and they processed the implications of her words. Ranma watched as their aura's exploded, not reaching the visible spectrum . . . not quite at least, but nearly so. It was interesting to see just how powerful they were. Yet there was something not quite right about their auras. The one with purple hair's aura reminded Ranma of someone . . . then with a quick start she realized it was similar to Sensei Masaki's aura, similar if weaker. The other woman's aura was like nothing she'd ever seen, and dwarfed the one put out by her companion.
"Michiru that . . . "Nodoka began, hoping to defuse the situation before a brawl broke out. Before she could finish her statement she was interrupted.
"Girl, stop teasing Tenchi," Katsuhito ordered, uncharacteristically stopping her fun. Normally he loved it when she teased his grandson, even though he too knew that she wasn't interested in boys.
"Hai Sensei," Ranma affirmed, the pout dropping from her face. "I'm sorry Tenchi."
The relief on Tenchi's face was unmistakable as he relaxed, happy that for once his grandfather had chosen to help instead of egg Ayeka and Ryoko on. Unfortunately his relief came a bit to soon. He sighed as he saw the pixie grin return to his friends face.
"Why don't you introduce me to all these lovely women," Ranma stressed her words, a seductive lustful smile replacing the pout, and this time directed at Tenchi's companions instead of the young Misaki himself.
It was all she could do to keep from laughing at the sudden change of expression the various woman had with this the quick change of focus. She hadn't had this much fun in ages.
"Michiru!" Katsuhito thundered.
"Hai sensei, I'll be good," Ranma fake pouted for a moment before letting the expression go.
"Don't worry ladies. I'm not after Tenchi, my interests lie . . . elsewhere," Ranma gave both girls one last appraisal, her wink encompassing all of the older girls.
The ice having been broken, and Ryoko and Ayeka reassured that this girl at least had no designs on "their" Tenchi, the introductions themselves were over in a moment. Settling around the table. Ranma relaxed, enjoying the conversation. Her mama and sensei were talking quietly, brining each other up to date on their lives.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Sensei," Nodoka started hesitantly, she hated to air her dirty laundry in so public a forum, but she could hold herself back no longer. She had to know if she could continue to practice her Art. She was not quite as intense as her daughter, but her passion for the sword came amazingly close to the passion Michiru held for her unique art. "I have formally broken with my husband. I am now ronin. I ask that I be allowed to continue in the Masaki School however."
Everyone noticed the pleased smile that accompanied the beginning of the statement . . . and the frown on Katsuhito's face when he heard that his student was ronin. The alien girls might not understand just what that meant, but the frown on grandfather Katsuhito's face clearly showed that the news was not good.
"Your family is not willing to take you back on their family register?" he asked gently.
"No sensei, they are not. The Isagomo Clan has a Long and proud history. My brother says that I have tarnished my honor and that to allow me to return to the Clan would tarnish their honor as well were he to allow my return."
"Honor is important, but so is family," Katsuhito answered softly. "What of your other family?"
"My brother is the Clan head, his word is law in this matter," Nodoka answered softly, her eyes shining but no tears fell as she continued. "I understand his words and reasoning. Our Clan has been samurai for generations with a Long and honorable history." Nodoka stated proudly. "I would do nothing else to harm my Clan . . . marrying Saotome Genma has done enough damage," she admitted.
Nodoka paused watching her daughter. Ranma/Michiru didn't know much of her Clan. Nodoka had been cast out shortly after marrying her father, so she had never met any of her Isagomo relations. Given the situation she was unlikely to meet them, and if she did her own situation would prevent any recognition of the family bond.
While Michiru's face was calm, with the eyes of a mother Nodoka could see the pain hidden in the depths of her daughter's eyes. Pain that mirrored her own. Michiru obviously knew that family meant much to her mama, no matter how she appeared to accept the judgment.
Nodoka tried, and managed a small smile. "The Isagomo Claim has been known for its warriors for a thousand years. We have had both samurai and samurai-ko with skills that became legend. I t is even said that my many times removed grandmother Funaho caught the heart of a demon prince and was whisked away to his kingdom to reign with him. Her loss was a blow to the Clan, her skills with the sword were the greatest of her generation, but love called and she left the Clan with the permission of her son."
Nodoka paused for a moment before continuing, "Funaho had been a widow for nearly sixteen years having been wed at fourteen. Her Lord had died soon after the marriage leaving her to raise her son to take command of the Clan and to follow in the footsteps of a father he never knew. The demon prince Azusa had come and suddenly Funaho was acting like a young girl instead of a woman of thirty years. Her son was saddened to lose her, but overjoyed at her newfound happiness. He had just taken his position as head of the Clan so he had the authority to release her from her duty to the Clan and to allow her to follow her heart. Isagomo Sojuro ruled Long and well and made sure that his mother's name was remembered with pride and held in honor."
Ranma and Nodoka were startled at the look of shock on the faces of their hosts. Sensei Masaki, Tenchi, Ayeka and the others all shared a look of shocked disbelief.
"Did you say Funaho?" Ayeka stuttered, her words echoed by Tenchi and Ryoko.
9. Ch 9 How Far Will She Go For The Art
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
A reviewer made a good point on the Tenchi continuity. For those that want to know (or care) this is (basically) the OAV setting – just tweaked a bit. I happen to like Kiyone so even though she comes from the Tenchi Universe setting (and a couple of the movies) I knew I was going to have her in the fic. So in hopes of preventing "name" confusion I used Achika for Tenchi's mother's name as it was given in at least one of the non-OAV settings as her name.
Forever the Tomboy Ch. 9 ---
How Far Will She Go For the Art
Ranma and Nodoka were startled at the look of shock on the faces of their hosts. Sensei Masaki, Tenchi, Ayeka and the others all shared a look of amazed disbelief.
"Did you say Funaho?" Ayeka stuttered, her words echoed by Tenchi and Ryoko.
"Yes I did," Nodoka answered, a questioning look plastered across her face. "Why? Have you heard of these legends?"
"No . . ." Tenchi stuttered, "That's the name of my great-grandmother, I was just surprised by the coincidence."
Ranma smirked cutely at her friend's reply, and she thought she'd been a bad liar when she was still a boy. It was clear that Ten-chan knew something more than he was saying . . . but it was equally obvious that he wasn't ready just yet to say what he knew. Ayeka's face on the other hand was much harder to read. Her expression returned to its prior mask. Her face gave nothing away, it showed little of her inner thoughts. Indeed she looked like a politician who had just been asked if she was going to raise taxes, polite and more than a little disbelieving that the question had even been asked.
Ranma glanced over at her mama and saw her own thoughts reflected in her mother's eyes, though her face too was closed and gave away little. The older woman was clearly not convinced that Tenchi was being completely honest with his reply. She loved him like the nephew she considered him to be, and knew him quite well. Ranma knew that Nodoka had visited a lot when Achika was still alive, and continued that trend for years afterwards. It wasn't until Ranma had returned and she had so desperately been seeking her son that she stayed in Tokyo and didn't leave, not even to continue her twice yearly visits to her Sensei, his grandson and the Masaki shrine.
Ranma didn't doubt that Ten-chan's statement was true. She was also certain however, that it was far less than the whole truth. Seeing that she would get no where with the purple haired girl, she turned her gaze toward the other girl hanging off of Ten-chan. Trying to read the amber eyed Ryoko was another matter. Her feelings were much more open and more easily read. She too knew something about what Tenchi and Ayeka were thinking, that much was clear. The question was whether she could be convinced to tell them what the others weren't ready to divulge yet.
"Perhaps," Ranma thought, "It might be easier to get her to talk than to pry the knowledge from the other two.
Shooting a penetrating look at her sensei she tried to get past the impassive front that Katsuhito was projecting. As she had expected her attempt was doomed to fail. In the short time it took for Tenchi, Ayeka and Ryoko to speak he had already recovered from any surprise inspired by Nodoka's comment and his face was as hard to read as an instruction manual written in a foreign language. Katsuhito's gaze met hers levelly, giving away nothing other than a passing interest in what was being said.
The others around the table varied in their responses and their expressions. Sasami had a mysterious smile that somehow seemed out of place on a face as innocent and young as hers. It was as if she too knew more than she was willing to tell.
Washu on the other hand had a manic gleam in her eye and a wild smile on her lips. Washu's hands were twitching as if they needed to be busy at some job, as if the young redhead desperately wanted to be doing something with them. What it was she wanted to do Ranma didn't know, but it was clear that she was very interested in the conversation, and that her interest was more than just a passing curiosity.
Kiyone was simply watching everyone else, her eyes locked on to whomever was speaking, and the professional mask of a social worker or cop was firmly in place. Ranma knew that look only to well having seen it many times on the faces of the orphanage workers . . . and on the faces of the police he and the panda had encountered all to often.
The blond woman Mihoshi was much more open and her face was as easy to read as a book, a manga at that. Her expressive blue eyes were shining with excitement and she was beginning to literally vibrate with excitement as she sat.
"That's so cool," Mihoshi gushed. "Hey Tenchi. She's related to your great grandmother. Won't Funaho be surprised when she finds out." Although phrased as a question, it was clear from her tone that the blond was making a statement of fact.
"We need to call her and let her know. I'll run out to the Yagami and put a call through right now."
"Mihoshi-san, my great grandmother . . . " Nodoka paused, obviously not wanting to put a damper on Mihoshi's excitement, but also knowing that her ancestor had been dead for hundred of years.
"This happened nearly a thousand years ago," Nodoka spoke carefully. "I don't think we will be able to tell her anything."
Ranma smirked, the expression could be construed as one of arrogance, but somehow despite that, it just made her look even cuter. "The way my life has been," Ranma thought, "I wouldn't be surprised if great grandma had married an Oni Prince and was still alive. But even so, why would the Masaki's know of her?"
"That's right Mihoshi," Tenchi stammered, "There is no way they could be the same person, right grandfather?"
Ranma wasn't convinced. Tenchi had his right arm behind his head scratching the base of his little pigtail. If she remembered right, her friend only did that when he was either nervous or embarrassed. There was no reason to be embarrassed, unless it was for Mihoshi's comment and even this his reaction was a bit to . . . extreme for that. Sooo, it stood to reason that he was nervous about the topic. But why? Ranma decided to prod the bubbly blond a bit just to see what would come of it.
"So Mihoshi, When was the last time you talked to great grandmother Funaho?" She asked ever so innocently. Her voice was so cool and smooth, her expression so serene that it didn't look like butter would melt in her mouth.
"I don't remember exactly. I think it was about three or four earth months ago." Mihoshi answered blithely, ignoring the flinches from her family that her response brought. "She came for a visit with Azusa and Misaki. They wanted to see how their daughters were doing."
The blond turned to the teal haired woman sitting next to her, the one with an angry expression quickly replacing the professional look that had just been on her face.
"That's about right isn't it Kiyone? They came to see Yosho and Tenchi and stayed . . . "
"MIHOSHI! Shut up!" Kiyone interrupted the blond before she could finish her sentence.
"What, why?" Mihoshi looked at her partner questioningly. "I thought maybe Nodoka-san would like to know."
"Just shut up Mihoshi," Kiyone ground out, her voice sounding like distant thunder.
"So Sensei. Is there something you'd like to tell us perhaps?" Ranma put on her most kawaii expression.
Nodoka gave her daughter a proud look. Not only had Mihoshi revealed that "her" Funaho had been around recently, she had said "earth months". What she meant by that was anyone's guess right now, but it was obviously not something the Masaki's wanted revealed. Just what was their secret?
Sometimes it still amazed Nodoka just how well Michiru had turned out. Ranma might have picked up on the slip, but he would never have had the ability to pick a target and draw the information out so flawlessly.
"Yes Sensei. I am also curious as to what Mihoshi has to say." Nodoka added, a steely look in her eyes.
Katsuhito merely looked at his two students a moment before answering. "Nodoka, as you yourself just said that happened nigh on to a thousand years ago. It would be unlikely in the extreme that Tenchi's great grandmother would be the same Funaho that was your ancestor wouldn't it?"
"Sensei, that didn't answer mama's question?" Ranma pressed. "Now did it?"
Ranma's sapphire eyes never left the shining gray eyes of his teacher, nor did they miss the pride that they showed as she pressed her argument.
"I believe that is a matter for another time. You have pressing matters to attend to today don't you girl?"
Reluctantly Ranma nodded her assent. "Yes Sensei, I do have other things to take care of first."
Ranma and Nodoka exchanged a meaningful look. They both knew that the Masaki's were hiding something. They trusted their sensei and Tenchi, but they also knew that the matter was not over, not by a long shot. Both knew that life was much more complex than most humans would ever admit. Both had first hand knowledge and experience with the supernatural and with beings that most people considered no more than legend. Ranma herself had met ghosts, spirits, oni, demons, youma, daemons and other creatures of legend. She had conversed with (and fought with) the descendant's of dragons, fought the Phoenix King Saffron, who himself was immortal. They did not discount the possibility that Mihoshi was telling the truth, that the Funaho that she was talking about was indeed the Funaho of legend. The name itself was a major clue, it was virtually unique and was not a common . . . or even uncommon Japanese name outside of the Isagomo Clan at least.
"Hey Mihoshi," Ranma decided to fire one last salvo before giving up. "Who is Tenchi's great grandmother married to?"
"Well, her husband's name is Azusa and her co-wife's name is Misaki." The blond blurted her answer out before anyone could stop her.
"Mihoshi! I told you to shut up." Kiyone yelled, slapping her partner firmly on the back of her head.
"Of course," Ranma sighed, "Of course her husband . . . wait a minute CO- WIFE?"
Before she could press on Katsuhito cleared his throat. "I believe I said we would discuss this later."
"Hai Sensei," Ranma conceded.
"Hai Sensei," Nodoka echoed her daughters words before adding a few of her own. "We will talk about this later," she finished stressing the fact that this conversation was not over.
Once again a knowing look passed between the two red headed women. Their faces each carried a sly knowing grin. They looked so much alike it was uncanny, and the same purpose lit a fire in their eyes.
Ranma felt a little lightheaded at the revelations, though she doubted them not. It would not surprise her to find out that her ancestor was still alive, kept so by her husband's power, or perhaps power of her own. While much of her own abilities came from the rigorous, nigh on to insane training that she had been put through, there were still questions as to whether that alone would've been enough. Even discounting her senshi abilities she healed faster than a "normal" human, learned faster and moved faster as well. Her strength was nothing short of amazing, and Nodoka shared many of these traits. When her mama wielded a sword she could move so fast she blurred, even Ranma found her to be a tough opponent. Even as good as she had grown in the last few years it was not unusual for her mama to score hits during a spar that would've been lethal if made with steel instead of a bokken.
Ranma paused, then narrowed her eyes as she concentrated. Then she LOOKED at the others present. When they had arrived Ranma had done a brief ki scan, noting almost automatically the aura's of the Masaki's and their guests. This time she looked harder, looked deeper, seeking anything in their auras that would be out of the ordinary. She had to smile a bit at that thought. What she considered ordinary was a far cry from the definition used by most.
Sensei Masaki was first and as expected she saw him surrounded by a blue aura of incredible power. It was deeper and stronger than anyone else she had ever seen. Not even Happosai or Ku Lon's auras could compare, though they were nothing to sneeze at. She started to look even deeper when the aura diminished and nearly disappeared, damping itself to a level not much above that of a normal human. Looking up she had to fight the urge to flinch from the measuring look her sensei leveled her way.
Glancing over at Tenchi, she saw much the same aura, but Tenchi's was even stronger, though much less focused. Her childhood friend's aura was somewhat different than that of his grandfather. Tenchi's aura contained flashes of white intermingled with the blue, they were so bright that they nearly blinded her as they pulsed in time with his heartbeat. His aura though lacked the control of Katsuhito's. It was as if the power level he had would eventually overshadow that of his grandfather, but his ability to make use of it was less refined as of yet.
Ayeka was no surprise. Her aura was about the same as before. It clearly bore a relationship to that of Sensei Masaki's. It was as if they were closely related, but her overall power levels were much lower than either of the Masaki's. Nothing to laugh at, and more than a little impressive in it's own right, but still nothing compared to Tenchi or Katsuhito. Ranma could detect traces of something that didn't feel quite "normal", something was just a little "off" about it.
Ryoko on the other hand literally glowed with power. To Ranma's ki-senses, it was like staring into the sun, and it was nearly as bright as Tenchi's . Her aura was crimson, but it didn't feel the same as Akane's anger enhanced aura. There was no doubt that Ryoko used her anger, but in her case it was tightly leashed and focused, under her control. Ryoko would use that anger for strength, but probably wouldn't let it take control. The red was laced with black as well. But again that was more puzzling than frightening, as the blackness didn't have the "taste" or "feel" of evil. It was more like the color came from a source of great pain or tribulation. It appeared that Ryoko had been tested in the fire, hammered by adversity and tempered by her past like the finest of blades. She was strong and sharp, definitely not one to take lightly. Ranma felt a kinship of some kind, a bond with the cyan haired beauty. It was strange how the woman's aura called to her. It wasn't sexual in nature at all. It felt more like the bond of a kindred spirit, a sister, one who could empathize with her pain, her need for a challenge. Despite her best intentions Ranma felt her mask slipping and a companionable smile forming on her lips as she looked at Ryoko. Still, there was more as well. Ryoko's aura to was not "normal" in fact the power she exuded so effortlessly was not exactly ki. Ranma didn't know what it was, only that it was there and powerful. While her aura covered her completely, it did seem to be concentrated around something in the other woman's wrists, and there was a small fluctuation around Ryoko's neck as if something were missing. What that was Ranma couldn't tell.
Mihoshi's aura was chaotic and hard to read, changing colors almost randomly. Ranma had never seen anything like it. It was as if it somehow resisted being seen or measured. One moment it appeared to be very powerful, the next almost non-existent, and it too bore the taint of something not quite human, but not of anything malevolent.
The teal tressed one Kiyone, seemed almost mundane in comparison to her companions. Her aura was a soft creamy white and while strong, was about what one would expect from a well-trained fighter. It reminded Ranma of the auras she'd seen around a group of U.S. Marines she'd run across. They had been detached to the JSDF during a particularly nasty episode involving a nest of oni-possessed humans. The military thought they were nothing more than terrorists and had requested the help of the American military. What they received was a detachment of Marine snipers. Ranma had to admit, she'd rarely seen a more focused batch of auras in her life. Their weapons had been effective against the possessed humans, but it had taken the senshi to clear out the oni. Still, once again Kiyone's aura was somehow "off" just a bit.
Ranma almost ignored the last two as they were no more than kids, but bitter experience had shown her long ago not to discount someone just because of their age. Even the very old and young could have abilities far beyond what could be expected . . . and there were other things that could make themselves look like whatever they wanted. If her suspicions were true and they were oni, well as the saying went "anything goes."
Ranma nearly sighed out loud as she turned to Washu. Of course she just had to be right. If Tenchi's aura was nearly blinding, her's was. Power surrounded her like the sun was surrounded by its corona. She had to look away, but before she did Ranma noticed similarities to the aura put out by the cyan haired Ryoko.
Sasami on the other hand, while her aura was powerful, it was strange in another way. It was almost as if two aura's were intermingled so closely that they were nearly one. The first blazed a pure unsullied white, but somehow the light didn't blind . . . it soothed. Hidden within the white was another, one that bore striking similarities to the aura Ayeka possessed. Before Ranma could look away she felt a powerful presence. Instead of making her fearful, the presence made her feel safe and warm, as if she were cradled in her mother's arms. A voice sounded in her head, a voice that was warm like a summer breeze and sounded like the gentle chime of bells, or the chuckling of a gentle stream.
Ranma shook her head in awe as she came out of her slight trance. She couldn't remember the words she'd just heard, if indeed she had been spoken to. But she could remember the feeling they left behind, a promise that all would be well. The "aura check" hadn't taken more than a dozen heartbeats, the amount of information received when she looked so deeply was not constrained by time in any normal sense of the word.
"So are you here just for a visit?" Tenchi asked breaking the short silence.
Before either woman could answer Katsuhito spoke for them.
"No Tenchi, they are here for a duel."
"What?" With who?" Tenchi's expression of puzzlement was carried nearly identically on the faces of his friends.
"Relax grandson, She's not here to fight any of us."
"Then who grandfather?"
"One of her other masters. A man named Happosai, Master of the Anything Goes Style of Unarmed Combat."
"But why here? And why fight at all?"
"It's a matter of honor Tenchi. I studied under the old pervert and we didn't part on the best of terms. He forbade me to use "his" Art until I could defeat him in combat." Ranma answered, then added softly. "Those were his conditions after I lost the last fight."
"Anything Goes huh? That's an interesting name for a style. I've never heard of it though, what kind of style is it?" This time the question came from an inquisitive redhead, her emerald eyes sparkling at the thought of gaining new knowledge.
Without thinking about it Washu called forth her keyboard, the holographic image appearing in front of her at her mental command.
"Washu!" Tenchi yelped. "What are . . . "
"Don't worry about it Tenchi," Ranma interrupted the boy before he could continue his rant.
"We already know that something is going on here . . . and we know that not all of you are even human. I'm not sure what you are, but I'd guess oni or perhaps aliens" Ranma's knowledge of the Silver Millenium was spotty, but she did remember part of her duties was protection of the solar system from attack by aliens, though she also vaguely recalled that the Moon Kingdom had allies as well as enemies in the galaxy.
"Interesting observation child. What makes you say that?" Washu asked, even as she typed rapidly on the keyboard.
"Let's see," Washu mused aloud, not even waiting for Ranma or Nodoka to respond to her last question. "Anything Goes Style, practiced currently by two families. The Saotomes and the Tendos. The Grandmaster is listed as Happosai, no clan affiliation given. Others licensed as Masters and able to teach are Saotome Genma and Tendo Soun. No students are listed, though that's not unusual. Well that's about all my computer has right now."
Washu turned her attention back to their guests. "I'm going to guess you did an aura reading on us at some point."
Ranma nodded sheepishly, then her eyes bulged out as Washu launched herself across the table and gave her a glomp of Amazonian proportions.
"Will you be my guinea pig?" came the question from the smaller woman.
Washu looked up with shining eyes that were ever so compelling, yet which for some reason made Ranma more than a little wary of agreeing to the proposal. Ranma had learned to fight the dreaded "pout" something that her male side had never been able to do. Two lives as a woman had seen to that, and had allowed her to hone her own devastatingly effective version of it. Even so, she was not completely immune to the pull of a cute girl with big eyes and quivering lips.
Ranma hesitated, then noticed Tenchi trying desperately to get her attention . . . and shaking his head in an emphatic NO gesture.
"Uhm, maybe later Washu. We can talk about that later." Ranma hedged.
"Oh pooh. I'll hold you to that Michiru," Washu warned.
Darting back to her keyboard she began typing furiously.
"Hold still a moment you two."
Washu looked at the screen, then she laughed, shooting "Michiru" a long sly look.
"This says you two are mother and "daughter", why don't you have the same name?"
Ranma flinched as she caught the slight emphasis that the other girl had put on the word daughter. Fortunately her mama came to her rescue.
"That's a long story as well," Nodoka began. "Basically Michiru was found by the authorities after she had been severely beaten and almost killed. Her father never showed up, and the authorities couldn't find him. Michiru had been taken from me so young that she didn't remember my name, address or anything else about me really. Her father never told her anything about me. Since they couldn't find her father and Michiru didn't know how to find me they put her in an orphanage. The Kaiou's adopted her and brought her into their Clan. It was just an amazing stoke of luck that we ever met . . . and I've thanked the Kami every day since then."
"Why didn't you get her back once you found out?" This time it was Mihoshi who asked. The blond was entranced by the "soap opera like" story.
"By the time we were sure about it," Nodoka answered, the Kaiou's had raised Michiru for many years. She felt honor bound to accept that bond."
Nodoka was rather proud of her answer. It was truthful . . . so far as it went, it just 'twisted" the facts a bit. Perhaps later, if Michiru agreed they could tell the full truth. It did seem likely that if Michiru's analysis of their ki was accurate, (and which was confirmed by her own lesser abilities) these people might be able to accept the truth. The Masaki crew for the most part seemed to accept the story as told. Nodoka and Ranma both saw the measuring looks that were directed their way by Katsuhito and surprisingly enough Sasami, but could tell that they were going to hold their peace . . . at least for now.
Washu for her part only smiled, according to her computer, Nodoka only had one child . . . and HIS name wasn't Michiru.
"Would you like some more tea?" Sasami asked gently.
Her mind once more on the "curse" Ranma smiled. She knew that if the curse hadn't been locked that right about now was when it would've been revealed. Her words proved only to prophetic when Mihoshi stretched bumping into the younger girl causing her to spill the hot liquid all over "Michiru".
Ranma smiled gently and accepted Mihoshi's rather exuberant apology. One thing she definitely didn't miss was the looks of shock and revulsion she used to experience when her curse was revealed.
"Now about this duel . . . "Tenchi began, and the conversation turned to the events yet to come this day.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Setsuna-mama. Is it time to go yet?" Hotaru asked for the umpteenth time.
"Yes dear, it's time," Setsuna answered patiently.
At least she appeared patient, inside she was just as anxious as her young charge to find out what was going to happen. It was so frustrating sometimes to deal with herself. Future Pluto could be just so . . . irritating. Despite what the other Scouts thought, she herself was not immune to feeling frustrated when "Sailor Pluto" acted so mysterious, even the fact that she knew there was a reason for it, and even when it was her doing it to herself.
"Good, I can't wait to see what happens next," Chibi-Usa chimed in. "I mean I've heard about this from Michiru, but to see it is going to be soooooo cooooool."
"See what Small Lady?" Setsuna asked slyly.
"Ah, Ah, Ah," Usa smirked.
Pluto's frustration only grew when Usa smiled that knowing smile and refused to answer. It was a smile she had seen on her own face in the mirror many times. Setsuna snorted. She was definitely going to have to tell her future self NOT to teach that smile to the young princess.
"USA!" Hotaru growled, "Stop that. Can't you tell us anything?"
"Sorry Hotaru," Usa apologized. "I'm afraid I can't, not really. Ma . . . Michiru has told me about some of what happened today. But I had to promise Pu-chan to let it play out without telling you anything until after it's all settled. She said it was important that I be here, but didn't say why. She just told me to "do what I thought was right." Usa's voice at the last was a credible imitation of Pluto's as she repeated the elder senshi's words.
"She said it would work out best if you did what was in your heart instead of trying to work out some kind of plan."
Seeing the surprised looks on her companion's faces the pink haired girl giggled.
"I know. I was surprised too. That didn't sound like anything I expected her to say."
"If you are quite finished mocking me . . . I mean her . . . we need to go," Setsuna advised. "Lets find a quiet place to leave from."
"Where are we going mama?" Hotaru asked quietly as the trio moved toward the exit.
"We are going to a small shrine. Whatever is going to happen is supposed to occur at the Masaki shrine around noon. We need to leave now so that we can walk to the proper location."
The two let Chibi-Usa take the lead. Once she was a few steps in front Hotaru whispered, "Did you hear what Usa almost said?"
Setsuna nodded, her thoughts all a whirl. For a moment she thought she'd imagined it, but if Hotaru had heard it as well then it wasn't her imagination. Usa HAD almost called Michiru "mama". But what could that mean. She'd seen the future and seen the pink haired girl dressed as the Moon Princess. On top of that, the girl's senshi transformation was into Chibi-Moon. That had to mean that Usagi was her mother, didn't it? and if Usagi was her mother why did she almost call Neptune mama? Things were getting "curiousier and curiousier" to steal a phrase from Alice in Wonderland.
"Yes I did Hotaru-chan, and no I don't know what she meant either." Setsuna answered Hotaru's unspoken question before it even left her lips.
It didn't take them long to find a secluded nook deep in a trash filled alley. While not the most fragrant of locations it did offer what they were looking for. A place that couldn't be seen from the street and which was currently unoccupied.
Joining hands they once again put their trust in Setsuna and teleported.
Less than a heartbeat later they arrived, finding themselves in a small glen surrounded by large trees.
"It's so pretty here," Usa murmured.
Her companions didn't speak, but nodded their own agreement.
"We need to go this way," Setsuna pointed off to the east. "It shouldn't be far."
With no further ado, the three began hiking up toward the hills. It was the work of just a few minutes before they stopped again. This time they were at the edge of a large meadow. Before them the woods opened up into a large grassy area, dotted here and there with wildflowers. The meadow itself was probably two hundred or so yards wide and perhaps three hundred in length.
"Settle in girls, we've got a short wait," Setsuna eyed the sun as it approached its zenith, it was growing close to the appointed time.
"I'd say we have about twenty minutes to wait," Setsuna finished.
"Wow, you can tell that by the sun's position?" Chibi-Usa was rather impressed by the observation.
Setsuna's knowing smirk faltered when Hotaru laughed.
"Well that and the fact that I saw her glancing at her watch," the young Princess of Saturn said mirthfully.
"Hrmph," Setsuna groused momentarily before joining Hotaru and laughing softly.
She had to admit the look on Usa's face was at least some payback for her previously "mysterious ways."
The three found a good place to watch. Their view was relatively unobstructed, but also a location where it would be hard for someone in the sunlit meadow to see them. They conversed in whispers to pass the time, and before they knew it noon was upon them.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Guys that's Kasumi," Hotaru whispered as they watched the first of the gathering arrive. "and that must be Happosai," Hotaru shuddered. "They told me stories about HIM, he's not very nice."
"What do you mean?" Chibi-Usa asked quietly. "And if he's not nice why is Kasumi with him? I thought you said she was really nice."
"She is," Hotaru insisted, "I'm not sure why she's with him. She did call him grandfather though."
"So what's the part about him not being nice?" Usa pressed, her voice growing a bit louder.
"Shh, keep it down girls," Setsuna warned.
Hotaru and Chibi-Usa gave her an apologetic look before returning to their conversation.
"Kasumi said he was a pervert."
"Pervert?"
"Yeah, she said he like to steal girls underwear."
Usa shuddered, "That is weird."
"That's not the half of it," Hotaru blushed, "Kasumi said he does it while the girls are wearing them."
"What?!!" How? Does he force them to strip naked or something?" Usa's anger was clear and once again she had to struggle to keep her voice down.
"No, she said he can somehow take them off a girl without taking her clothes off first."
"Huh, how can he do that?"
Hotaru shrugged, "I don't know, but that's what she said and mama agreed with her."
"Definitely weird."
"Yeah, definitely," Hotaru agreed. "But it still doesn't say why mama's here to meet him."
They could see Kasumi and Happosai talking, but the others were to far away to make any sense of their words. A few minutes later they spotted a much larger group approaching from the other end of the meadow.
Michiru was easy to spot, her strange wardrobe made her stand out from the crowd. Walking next to her and on her left side was the woman they'd seen earlier. On the right was an older gentleman they'd never seen before. He was wearing the robes of a Shinto priest and exuded a peaceful calm that was apparent even from this distance. Right behind them came several girls and one young man. The girls varied in appearance and their hair colors reminded the young Saturn of the Amazons she'd met yesterday. The boy was flanked by a pair of exotic beauties. A woman in purple robes with long purple hair to match was clinging on one arm. The other arm was occupied by a cyan haired beauty in a simple housedress. Behind them in a loose grouping was a collection of other girls. The most normal of whom had long blond hair that looked to be a match to either Usagi or Minako. Next to her was a young girl with hair the same shade that Michiru normally sported, and yet another woman with teal green hair. Trailing the group a few feet further back was a young girl with long red hair that was a match for the Michiru's own fiery locks.
Most of the new group stopped at the edge of the meadow, with only the three in the lead moving further in.
The trio watched as Michiru moved in, stopping a few yards away from Kasumi and Happosai. The older man and woman moved a few yards to Michiru's left and stopped as well.
The three senshi listened carefully as Michiru began to speak.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma saw Happosai and her eyes narrowed. This was it, today was the day she either regained the right to practice her Art or lost it forever. She smiled a Kasumi, waved her friend over toward the Masaki group, then frowned at Happosai. She looked around the meadow, and for a moment thought she sensed the presence of watchers, familiar presences, but ones that shouldn't be here now, but she couldn't be sure and didn't have time to look further.
Shaking her head Ranma tried to forget about who might or might not be watching. She had to keep her attention focused, if she didn't she was going to lose . . . and that was something she didn't want to even contemplate.
Before she could even speak Ranma saw the gleam in the old pervert's eyes. He darted forward and in two bounces leaped for her chest. Ranma darted aside and managed to avoid his grasp.
"Now that wasn't very nice Ranma-chan," Happosai yelled.
"How about a letting your old Master have a feel of those beauties?" he continued with a fake pout while pointing a battered pipe at her chest.
"Drop dead old man," Ranma growled. "First we set the terms, then we fight. Groping comes later if at all."
Ranma fought for calm. If she were going to beat the old perv she was going to need it. Taking a deep breath and trying to ignore the light that flashed in Happosai's eyes when she did, Ranma continued.
"This is our second and last match as set by your terms the last time we met,"
"Now Ranma-chan, that isn't exactly what I said and you know it," Happosai interrupted. "I said if you didn't beat me in three months you had to accept me as your Master and take my training . . . all of it or you'd lose the right to practice Anything Goes. I also said you couldn't use the Art other than practice until we met today."
"I know what you said old man," Ranma answered her voice crackling with ice.
"I'm telling you that if I don't win today I'm giving up my right to practice your style."
"My style. Does that mean you've learned another Art?"
Ranma smirked unpleasantly, the expression a twisted shadow of her old confident . . . and very annoying smile.
"You'll see what I've learned in a few minutes. Now as to the terms. Here's my proposal. We fight. No time limit, area is restricted to this meadow. The first to submit, be knocked out or leave the meadow under his or her own power loses."
"What if I knock you out of the meadow?"
"I said leave under their own power. If anyone is knocked out of the meadow they have no more than thee minutes to return or they lose." Ranma rejoined.
"What do I get from this when I win?" Happosai sneered.
"Keep thinking that old man," Ranma thought, "You think I've only had three months to train. Well what you don't know is definitely going to hurt you today."
"If you win. I will give up the right to practice Anything Goes. I still keep the right to my special attacks, but not yours, Genma's or Soun's. I can still create my own art from what I've learned from the Amazons, and from Sensei Masaki." Ranma indicated Katsuhito with her thumb. "As well as the other traditional arts."
"That's not enough boy. I want more or it won't be worth my time. I can already forbid you to practice Anything Goes."
"I figured as much old man. I will agree in addition to pose for you in a full spread of pictures. No more than fifty total. I will have them made into a full color portfolio and give you three copies." Ranma could see the glazed look forming on the old perv's face.
"No more than ten nudes, the rest in lingerie, swimsuits or whatever," she paused for effect. "You can pick the outfits. In addition, I'll arrange for an apartment and stay with you for one week. No sex, no-one else to be there, but . . ." she shuddered with distaste, "during that time I'll not fight off your gropes. Finally I'll wear the outfits that you had me pose in while at home, and give them to you at the end of the week."
Ranma could see the sheer lust forming in Happosai's eyes at the thought of what she was offering. As much as the price of losing disgusted her, she knew the old letch had some honor. Her "virtue" was safe. He might be a pervert, but Happosai was no rapist. It would be Hell with a capital H, but she could do it if she had to.
"I have your word on that boy?"
"You have my word."
"And if by some chance you win, what do you want?"
"You certify me as a Master of Anything goes. Equal to the other Masters and no longer subject to their control. You sign my license to teach. Then you leave me the Hell alone. You don't look for me. You leave my friends and family alone . . . you get the Hell out of my life."
"What about the skills I haven't taught you yet?" Happosai offered. He didn't really think he'd lose, but the thought of having no ties to the one he'd picked as his heir did leave him cold. He might be three hundred or so years old, but even he had to admit he'd not live forever.
"IF and ONLY IF you swear not to reveal any of my secrets, and swear to leave my friends and family alone I will consider letting you finish my training," Ranma answered after a short pause. "BUT, I keep the right to refuse to accept your teaching if I think you're just being perverted. I will NOT take part in liberating any of your "silky darlings.""
Happosai didn't hesitate for long. He was sure he could still beat Ranma, though there was something about the Ranma's serious attitude that was pricking at the back of his mind.
"Done boy. Are you ready to dance?"
"Not yet," Ranma answered shortly. "Sensei Nodoka and Masaki will be the judges. Do you accept them?"
Happosai glanced at the pair standing quietly by. He could sense the anger they held for him. Nodoka's was almost palpable, but he knew the woman well. Her sense of honor would keep her in line. If he won she would so rule. The other man put him on edge. Happosai could feel the power he held. It was nearly equal to his own. Furthermore, the Master of Anything Goes had heard of this man before. Masaki Katsuhito was not well known to the general martial arts community, but to those who were true masters his name was known. He was reputed to be the best swordsman in Japan. True, he had never competed in the tournaments like Nodoka, but many of the very best did not. It had been years since he had competed in any formal tournament himself. However, much like Nodoka, Katsuhito was known to be honorable. It was said that when Masaki Katsuhito gave his word you could take it to the bank.
"What about the rest?" Happosai pointed first at the group gathered behind Ranma-chan, then quickly to the ones hidden in the woods.
"They are here simply to watch," Ranma replied shortly.
"And if they interfere?"
"If they intervene on my behalf I lose," came the calm reply.
"Then sweet Ranma-chan, I accept your terms," Happosai answered soberly.
For a moment, just a fleet, quicksilver moment that was gone as quickly as it came, Ranma could see the remnants of the Master that Happosai once was . . . and Ranma mourned what could have been. She nodded once and fell instinctively into a defensive stance.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Hotaru shivered as she heard her mama begin to speak. What the heck was going on? How did mama know this old man? When could she have studied the martial arts under him and why would he have made her quit? Why was he calling her "boy" was it to make her mad? If so why? Was he mad that mama was a lesbian? Had he kicked her out of her school because of Haruka-papa? Mama was a lot of things but "boyish" was not one of them. Hotaru loved her Michiru-mama and wanted to be just like her . . . well except that she liked boys that is. Whatever the old man had on her mama, the way he was acting made her furious, and made her wish for the Silence Glaive. Only her mama's words that she would lose if there was any outside interference was keeping her from dropping a major load of mojo on the old man's head. Well that and the thought of what Michiru-mama would do to her if she caused her to lose and she had to honor her agreement with the old pervert. That scared her even more . . . she'd be lucky if mama ungrounded her by the founding of Crystal Tokyo if that were to happen.
"What's going on?" she whispered desperately.
"I don't know dear, I don't know," Setsuna whispered back.
Setsuna was at a loss. In all her viewing of Michiru's life, she'd never seen her act like this. She been fascinated by the way Michiru picked up the martial arts. She'd watched many a training session as the girl grew up. The Time Gates made viewing her friends past far to easy and she had indulged herself often during the long lonely years before their awakening. She had missed Uranus, Neptune and Saturn. During the Silver Millennium they had been among her few friends.
As a result she had monitored their lives closely. Setsuna had seen many of Neptune's sensei, but she'd never seen this Happosai before. Secrets were abounding, and if there was one trait she shared with Mercury, she hated secrets . . . unless they were her secrets of course, and even then she didn't always like what her job required her to do.
"I can't believe she'd agree to all of that if she lost," Usa whispered. "That's awful."
"Me neither," Hotaru agreed. "I guess we'd better be asking the Kami for her to win."
The senshi of Saturn was frankly at a loss. Her mama might be willing to cuddle and kiss Haruka no matter who was around, but to pose NUDE for a man, to make what was in effect a porno magazine for him to look at. What the HELL was her mama up to? Hotaru knew, absolutely one hundred percent knew, that her mama had NO interest in men . . . at least she thought she knew that she added uncomfortably. After all the revelations that had come to light in the last few days Hotaru was wondering if she really did know her mama. Yet despite the distaste clearly evident in Michiru's voice she was agreeing, well not even agreeing, she was proposing the terms she was going to have to honor if she lost.
"Uhm, Setsuna-mama, Chibi-Usa," Hotaru began hesitantly, "Why was that old man calling her Ranma and boy?"
The Moon Princess fidgeted. She knew, but really did not want to be the one to tell Hotaru the truth . . . and to be quite honest even though she knew the truth in her head, her heart had never accepted it. She had known Michiru all her life and had never seen her as anything but a woman. Usa decided that discretion was the better part of valor and simply ignored the question.
"Usa . . . "Hotaru hissed somewhat angrily, starting to press for an answer. "I don't . . . "
Before she could push her friend further, the two martial artists . . . moved . . . if so mundane a term could be used to describe their quicksilver actions.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Uhm, Tenchi?" Ryoko questioned hesitantly, "What's going on with your friend?"
"I don't know Ryoko. I've never seen her like this," Tenchi's response was just as hesitant.
"Lord Tenchi, did she just agree to be in a pornographic magazine?"
Before the young prince could answer he heard Ryoko laughing.
"I'm surprised at you Princess. I'm surprised that a repressed old prude like you even knows what one of those is."
Ayeka for once refused to rise to the bait. She sniffed once disdainfully before answering.
"Just because I know what one of those things is doesn't mean that I'm likely to show up in one . . . unlike a certain harlot I could name."
"At least they'd line up for blocks to get a magazine with my hot bod in it," Ryoko responded. "They'd probably run the other way if someone tried . . . "
"Ayeka, Ryoko stop it!" Sasami interrupted. "Michiru doesn't need to be distracted by you two right now."
"Right," Ryoko agreed.
"I agree Sasami," Ayeka admitted. "If they are friends of Yosho we should support them."
"Friends," Washu cackled softly, "I think they are more than friends. If I'm right, and I usually am, they are his distant cousins. The readings I got on them indicate that they are indeed of Funaho's line."
"Then it is even more important that Michiru win," Ayeka insisted. "If word were to get out that a relative of the Emperor's First Wife were in a pornographic magazine that would not bode well in some circles."
Ryoko's laughter was more wry than mocking as she replied. "They allow people to be married to more than one spouse and turn their nose up at a little nudity?"
"Ryoko, I'm serious. It would harm Lord Tenchi's reputation as well. After all he is Aunty Funaho's great grandson."
"I still find it hard to believe that something like this could be so bad," Ryoko answered.
"It's not the nudity, it's the . . . "Ayeka searched for the proper words, ". . . it's the fact that a pornographic magazine is just so "common". No- one of the nobility would stoop to posing for such a thing."
"But the relationship is awfully distant Ayeka," Tenchi pointed out. "Why would it matter what she did?"
"Tenchi, Tenchi Tenchi, you are so innocent aren't you?" Washu piped up, more than a trace of venom in her voice as she recalled a loss of her own caused by a noble family's disdain for her own "common" lineage.
"Nobility, especially Jurian nobility can trace even the smallest amount of noble blood. It comes from living so long and considering themselves the Lords of Creation."
The others were a bit shocked at the malice in her tone. "Now don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about the majority, but there are enough pig-headed idiots out there to whom a person's lineage is more important than anything else."
"What about her . . . her preferences?" Tenchi could barely get the words out. He was a bit embarrassed to be talking about such things with the girls.
"That doesn't matter so long as it is private or between spouses," Sasami piped up.
"Sasami, how long have you been listening?" Tenchi was mortified to find the young princess had been following the entire conversation.
"Tenchi, I may be young but I'm not stupid. Besides, don't you think Aunty Funaho and Mother Misaki get along well?"
Any answer Tenchi might have been able to muster was lost when Ryoko gasped.
"Damn, would you take a look at that! It's like watching grasshoppers on speed."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma watched with narrowed eyes as Happosai fell into his "standard" stance. It was a relaxed position that to most would look like the old man was completely unprepared for battle. To a practitioner of Anything Goes however, it was a different matter. Despite his appearance the Grandmaster was more than prepared to fight.
For several long moments both were motionless, each watching and waiting for any indication that the other was about to initiate combat. Then as if in response to an inaudible signal they moved.
Ranma leapt forward bounding like a demented rabbit. Happosai was more restrained in his motions, but moved just as quickly. They met in a flurry of blows, punches thrown and blocked, kicks flowing into other moves as they exchanged attacks. Both started out conservatively, at least for masters with their skill level they were conservative. In the first exchange there were no fancy moves as both knew that the first to make a mistake was going to be the first to take damage . . . and perhaps the first to lose.
Both fighters knew that they could soak up damage that would kill a lesser being, but neither wanted to be the first injured. Even limited as they were to non-lethal moves it was certain that (barring a major mistake) one or both of them were going to end up hurt. Both knew as well that there would be no giving up, no surrender despite that being one of the options available to them. They knew that the victor was going to be the one left standing over the prone body of the other fighter.
As quickly as the melee started it was over as the fighters separated. Neither was breathing at anything other than a normal level and neither was significantly hurt. They both sported bruises and both felt the damage that even successful blocks brought.
"Is that all you have boy?" Happosai taunted.
"I'm just getting warmed up," Ranma answered, "Why don't we kick it up a notch?"
"That's okay by me," Happosai agreed.
True to his word the ancient martial artist let loose some of the control he kept on his ki and was soon surrounded by a glowing aura of stormy gray. Ranma did likewise and soon she too was surrounded by her battle aura, though hers was a brightly glowing blue.
Ranma sensed the build-up of ki and knew that she had to be prepared for anything. Gathering her own energy she waited, and was soon rewarded by Happosai's yell.
"Happo Battle Aura Blast!"
"Moko Takabisha!"
The ki blasts met, and where they met there was a blinding flash as the ki bolts merged for a moment then exploded. Both fighters knew what was coming so neither was thrown to the ground. Instead they immediately followed their ki attacks by closing in once more.
This time their meeting was in mid-air. They seemed to ignore gravity as they hung in the air before gliding past each other. This time, without the need to worry about their footing, kicks predominated over the less powerful punches they'd thrown earlier. This exchange was just as inconclusive as the first, both gave and accepted damage, but neither was conclusively injured. When they landed Ranma immediately bounded back toward her foe, hoping that she had recovered just a bit quicker than Happosai.
Indeed she had, and before the other warrior could quite put up his defenses she sneaked a brutal kick in past the old master's defenses, the blow taking Happosai in the ribs. Ranma knew it was not a decisive blow, but still landing the first real hit was a good sign. Before she could follow it up however, Happosai used his pipe and executed a near perfect Happo Throw, tossing Ranma several yards away and giving the Grandmaster time to recover.
"Not bad boy," Happosai acknowledged the hit, "But not nearly good enough,"
"Happo Five Yen Satsu,"
Ranma tried to move, and was partially successful, but not completely so. She was taken a bit by surprise by the attack, but even with the little time that she had to react she still managed to prevent him from locking onto her. Happosai's attack hit and drained a significant portion of her battle aura. Fortunately, she had more in reserve and even more fortunately she had not been hit dead on by the attack.
"You almost got me then old man," Ranma called out as she took a moment to recover. "I should've known that you knew how to do that. After all you taught Ms. Hinako that move."
"There's a lot more where that came from Ranma-chan. Why don't you just give up now?" Happosai taunted.
"Give up?" I don't think so. I have a few secrets left of my own."
Pulling a page from her father's book, Ranma faded away, becoming effectively invisible.
"I see you've mastered the Umi-sen-ken," Happosai crowed. "Those are one of the few things that your father ever did that was worthwhile. They are good, but it won't be enough to beat me boy."
"Okuhida Hurricane," Happosai called out another of his special attacks.
Happosai spun his pipe rapidly, and a whirlwind of his "silky darlings" filled the clearing between Ranma-chan's last position and the crafty Grandmaster. Happosai watched and as soon as he saw some of the garments stop, wrapping around something not seen, he pounced.
Ranma was surprised at the method Happosai used, but NOT surprised that the old man had a counter to the Umi-sen-ken. She had hoped she was mistaken and that the way of the silent thief would allow her to attack invisibly, but she had not pinned her hopes on it . . . and she doubted that Happosai knew exactly where she was.
Moving quickly to block his attack, Ranma took a punch to the face, but rolled with it and even as she fell struck out with a kick of her own, which connected as well, even if it was a glancing blow. Reeling from the punch, Ranma dropped the Saotome forbidden technique and faded back into sight.
Both fighters moved in again, this time redoubling the fury of their attacks. They were still moving at speeds far beyond that of any "normal" fighter. Ranma quickly launched a series of kicks, each blocked and then a spinning back fist which was not. The punch connected, hitting the older man just below his right temple. Happosai contented himself with blocks followed by a snap-kick to Ranma's chest.
Ranma felt blinding pain as the kick connected with her breasts, and rolled away to gain more room to fight.
"Moko Takabisha Revised Shotgun Attack," she hollered out her attack.
Instead of a single large blast she quickly launched a barrage of smaller ki balls, each individually weaker than her standard attack, but also much harder to dodge.
Happosai's knowing smirk when he saw that Ranma-chan's aim was off died a quick and gruesome death. The smirk was replaced by grimace of surprise, as he saw the result of the modified attack. Unable to avoid the multiple blasts Happosai desperately strengthened his battle aura, which quickly flared at his call, providing him with much needed protection. Despite his best efforts, the multiple blasts still HURT, and knocked the perverted martial artist away from his target.
Ranma recovered quickly and began looking for her opponent, spotting him wobbling a few yards away. Happosai was far from finished though, his face settled into grim lines, but he'd obviously been hurt by her last attack to judge by his smoking gi . . . and the look of concentration on his face.
"Happo Daikarin,"
"Crap," was Ranma's only response as the diminutive master of Anything Goes started pulling and throwing his trademark bombs, one after another in rapid succession.
Dodging frantically, the young woman was able to avoid most of the blasts . . . but like Happosai moments before, was not able to dodge them all. Staggering back she smiled through her pain and called up still more of her awesome reserves.
The fight by now had lasted nearly fifteen interminable minutes. Not a long time as the clock goes, but an incredible display given the intensity of the conflict they were taking part in.
"That's it boy," Happosai crowed, "Now lets take it to the final level."
"Fine with me old man," Ranma gritted out. "Let's dance."
Once again the pair closed and once again their forms literally blurred so great was their speed. They exchanged blows at an insane rate that was nearly impossible to follow. Of the watchers in the Masaki household few could follow the blow by blow action, Katsuhito and Nodoka had little problem, Ryoko could see it as well as could Tenchi, though the Jurian Prince had to summon a bit of his Jurian power to do so. The others had to be satisfied with the play by play coming from Washu. The fight was believable only because they audience were actually seeing it.
The senshi were no better off, of them Pluto was the only one to clearly see the action.
The pair battled in the clearing, time seeming to slow to a crawl, the silence punctuated only by the sounds of flesh viciously coming into contact with flesh. Long minutes passed as the pair bounced around the meadow in an aerial display that was second to none. The action on the ground during the few moments they touched down was just as intense. Finally the pair separated again. This time it was clear to all who had eyes to see that the end was near. Happosai landed roughly, even at a distance it was clear that his right kneecap was not where it was supposed to be. The old warrior paused and with a grimace of pain pulled on his left shoulder popping it back into place. He wavered, nearly falling, kept on his feet by pride and a desire not to lose.
Ranma landed better, but cradled her right arm with her left. Tears of pain flowed from her eyes as she took a moment to tuck the offending arm into her belt. It was obviously broken as the sharp jagged end of a bone protruded through the forearm of her shirt, the red silk darkened by blood.
"Do you surrender boy?" Happosai called, pain evident in his voice as well.
"Never," came the grunted reply.
"Don't say I didn't offer you a chance Ranma,"
"Bring it on," was the girl's only reply.
Happosai nodded. He knew better than to underestimate the redhead. He knew that if killing attacks had been allowed that the fight would have been over long before and he was uncertain as to which of them would be still standing. The Grandmaster stood his ground, waiting for the attack he knew was coming. Though both had ki yet to spare, he was betting that Ranma-chan was going to go with a physical attack. She undoubtedly knew his mobility was going to be greatly hampered and was going to take full advantage of that fact. He wasn't disappointed when Ranma blurred forward.
Ranma knew that she had to finish this quickly. The pain from her arm was intense, nothing she couldn't handle, but it was sapping her strength. Gritting her teeth she attacked. She still had a few surprises left.
"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken Revised,"
Happosai hear the attack and moved quickly to block Ranma's one-armed punches. To his utter surprise and dismay however it was not the fist he should have worried about. Moving at Amaguriken speeds Ranma launched a series of kicks with a speed that amazed even the old Grandmaster.
Reeling from the unexpected attacks Happosai was unable to mount an effective defense. Kick after kick landed dealing out massive amounts of damage to the martial artist. Grunting with pain Happosai managed to grab Ranma's right leg, and hit it with a ki enhanced punch.
"I"ve won!" Happosai exulted, only to realize that the leg had been a ploy, a sacrifice as Ranma struck with a punch.
Even as he heard the crack of her thigh bone breaking he felt a punch land on his right temple followed immediately by one to the left side of his skull. Happosai didn't even have time to realize that he had lost before sliding into unconsciousness.
Ranma fell on top of her opponent, her leg still held fast in his grasp.
"Gotta stand up, gotta stand up," she repeated the mantra to herself as she tried to rise.
Fighting the pain she tried once, twice then a third time before she could get to her feet.
Wobbling, her eyes clouded with pain Ranma looked down at her old "Master" a feeling of triumph finally beginning to rise within her. Then she heard a voice calling her name. It was a voice once all to familiar to her, but which had grown distant during her new lives, still she should have expected to hear from the "Lost Boy," now that she was dressed as "Ranma" again. With a groan she turned to face it, knowing that she was in no shape to defend herself.
"Saotome Ranma, Prepare to Die,"
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"I don't believe this," Ryoko stated with amazement. "Look at them go."
"Are you sure they are just human?" Ayeka echoed the cyan haired woman's disbelief though she used different words.
"I think . . . I think so," Tenchi offered.
The young prince knew that Michiru was good. Heck he'd sparred with her before, but he had never seen her move this fast. She was moving as fast as his grandfather did when he went all out.
"Definitely human," Washu offered, her fingers flying over the keyboard. "It's amazing really. Of course I'm showing Jurian energy from both of them."
"Jurian energy?" Kiyone asked, "But how?"
"Well," Washu dropped into lecture mode. "This was a Jurian colony at one point. It's to be expected that some traces of that lineage would come forth from time to time."
"Traces?" Ayeka offered, "I've seen members of the Royal Guard that couldn't move that fast."
"Aunty Funaho can," Sasami chimed in. "She's human."
"True, "Washu patted the young girl on the head. "Most humans have some potential to use Jurian energy, but most have no clue how to do so, and even if they did they wouldn't call it that."
"Ouch, that had to hurt," Mihoshi winced as she saw Michiru's arm.
"Is she going to be able to continue?" Kiyone asked.
"Don't worry about her, she's not finished yet," surprisingly it was Sasami who answered, her voice somehow deeper and wiser.
"Is that you Tsunami?"
"Yes Washu, I'm here. It is important that Michiru win this fight."
The others stared as Tsunami's form wavered into existence, somehow forming around the young Jurian princess.
"Important how?" Ryoko questioned, her eyes staring at the combatants.
"That isn't important just yet," Tsunami answered, a knowing twinkle in her eyes. "Let's just say that it will be important in the future."
Ryoko grunted, knowing that no matter how strong she was, Tsunami was one person, being, whatever that the former space pirate couldn't intimidate or force to reveal what she wished to keep a secret.
The group watched as the final moments of the conflict played out. They groaned as Michiru's kick was caught, winced at the sound of breaking bone, and watched in amazement as Michiru turned what looked to be a resounding defeat into victory. A victory bought at a price, but a victory none-the- less.
To their amazement, Nodoka and Katsuhito had no more than named Michiru the victor when they heard an angry male voice screaming a challenge. They weren't sure what was going on as he was yelling to a Saotome Ranma, but then again, that was what the old man had called Michiru.
To their consternation, they saw a young man, probably no more than Tenchi's age running toward Michiru with hate-filled eyes . . . and an umbrella of all things held ready to deliver his attack.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"What the Hell?" Setsuna mused, not realizing that she spoke aloud as she watched the combat between Michiru and Happosai begin.
She watched in amazement as the two attacked each other with a skill that she had seldom seen . . . and moves she had never seen. It was only her use of the time gates to watch some of the legendary Masters (hey everyone had to have a hobby she often told herself) that allowed her to recognize a few of the moves being used.
Michiru was using a strange blend from many different Arts. Pluto recognized Kempo, Kung Fu of various branches, Amazonian Wu Shu as well as some of the more "modern" arts as well. The old man was doing the same. Both fighters effortlessly blended into a unified Art, techniques from many varied and disparate forms. One minute they'd be using a hard form as they attacked, the next a soft form in defense. It was amazing really just how easy they made it look.
Despite having observed Michiru's skills from time to time the green haired senshi was shocked speechless at the level of skill being displayed.
"Setsuna-mama, What the Hell is going on?" Hotaru queried. The young senshi grew annoyed when she was being ignored. "Setsuna-mama, Setsuna!"
Pluto's musing were interrupted by her young charge's voice.
"Yes Hotaru-chan," she replied absently, her eyes never leaving the combat.
"Is Michiru-mama transformed and in disguise?"
"No dear, I don't think so,"
"Then how is she moving so fast?"
"I don't know that either, Chibi-Usa what can you tell us about this?"
"Yeah Usa, What's going on?"
"She's that good," came the soft reply. "Michiru-mama is just that good,"
"Michiru-mama!!???" Hotaru pulled her eyes away from the meadow and toward her pink haired companion.
"Damn! Slipped again," Usa muttered distractedly.
"Well, remember what I told you about our fiancée?
"Uhm, yeah," Hotaru answered hesitantly,
"Well . . . "
"What fiancée?" Pluto interrupted.
"Well Hotaru and I are engaged in the future," Usa answered quietly. "He's a Jurian Prince."
"Oh," Pluto responded, "and I suppose that multiple wife rule is still in effect?" she stated more than questioned.
"Yes it is." Usa answered reluctantly. "We don't . . . I mean won't mind he's really . . . "
"We can talk about that later. Why are you calling Michiru Mama now?"
"Well, when Hotaru and I got engaged to the same guy Michiru said I could call her that anytime except when we were training." Usa replied. "She's been like another mama to me anyway."
"Oh," unusually, Pluto was at a loss for words and didn't have any other response.
"Mama!" Hotaru yelled starting to rise to her feet.
"Down child, remember your promise. Don't distract her," Pluto and Usa both grabbed the young Princess of Saturn.
"But mama's hurt. Look at her arm."
The two senshi looked, and saw that Hotaru spoke the truth. They could see the white bone glistening in the summer sun. Michiru's arm was clearly broken.
"She lost!" Hotaru moaned, "Now she's going to have to do all those horrible things for that old man."
"Don't count her out yet," Pluto pointed, "It doesn't look like she's finished."
"But she's going to really hurt herself if she keeps this up," Hotaru wailed.
"Maybe so," Pluto answered striving for calm. "But do you really think she would appreciate you interfering in her fight?"
"I guess not," Hotaru grumbled, "But when this is over I'm going to give her a piece of my mind."
"When its over, but not before Hotaru-chan, not before," Setsuna warned.
Dropping back down the trio watched as the combat grew even more fierce. They watched as the pair exchanged a final flurry of blows. All three winced at the sound of breaking bone and saw the agony on Michiru's face as Happosai broke her leg. Then watched in amazement as she responded with a pair of savage blows to the older man's skull, dropping him in his tracks.
They watched silently, wishing with every fiber of their being that they could come to Michiru's aid, but knowing that to do so before she stood was to invite disaster.
"Look, she's getting up," Chibi-Usa cheered.
She knew that Michiru had won . . . at least she had in her own timeline, but also knew that things could change. They watched in silence as Michiru stood, wobbling and leaning to one side as if fighting a strong wind, but standing nonetheless. It was a matter of moments before the announcement came from the Shrine Priest. They heard his words with relief.
"The winner, Kaiou Michiru."
"Let's go," Setsuna instructed.
"But mama's hurt," Hotaru protested.
"Remember no interference Hotaru-chan," Setsuna fixed a gimlet glare at her young charge.
To her surprise Hotaru didn't flinch, but returned her gaze with a titanium stare of her own.
"I know Setsuna-mama, but the fight is over. She needs healed and . . . "
Before the argument could devolve further the trio heard another voice, a voice filled with anger and hate.
"Saotome Ranma, Prepare to die!"
Hotaru turned away from Pluto and back toward the meadow. She saw a young man carrying a big backpack. Even as he spoke he threw his gear to the ground and was advancing with the clear intent to hurt her mama.
"Mama!" Hotaru screamed, darting into the meadow.
Moving with a grace she normally didn't possess, Hotaru avoided Setsuna's lunging grab and ran to protect her mama.
"You leave my mama ALONE!" the purple eyed girl yelled.
Hotaru was breathing hard, gasping for breath but she managed to reach her mama before the dark haired warrior could.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ryouga dimly heard someone yelling at him, but he paid no mind to the words and advanced unheeding toward his redheaded foe. His focus was on the face of one Saotome Ranma. Anger filled his soul to overflowing, and poured out like water breaking though a levee.
"You've hurt Akane for the last time!" he thundered. "Now prepare to meet the Kami!"
His anger was so hot, so intense that Ryouga ignored the injuries that Ranma had sustained. While he was Ranma's enemy, he was in his own twisted way also Ranma's friend. Normally he wouldn't attack with this kind of advantage, but this wasn't normally. This time he was going to make Ranma pay. This time he was going to get revenge for the Hell that Ranma had put him through, and all the anguish he had caused Akane by leaving her.
Blinded by his rage Ryouga didn't see the slightly built girl running toward Ranma, nor did he hear her cry of anguish. His whole world was limited to one thing, Ranma standing there with a smirk on her face as she dropped into a defensive stance. He could see her lips move, but cared not for what she said. Ranma had disappeared three months ago, had vanished without a trace leaving the Tendo's and all the others with nothing other than a goodbye note. Leaving them wondering as to where he had gone . . . and if he would return.
Ryouga swung his battle umbrella certain that this time he would win. To his complete and utter horror, before the weapon could connect a pretty young girl with raven hair jumped between him and his target. The martial artist tried desperately to stop the blow, but knew that he wouldn't be able to . . . the best he could do was try to pull his swing and hope for the best.
His best wasn't quite good enough, and he heard the a sickening crunch of the impact an felt the girls ribs giving way to the blow. He saw the girl go flying away and tracked her with horrified eyes. He watched as she fell limply to the ground. To the lost boy's chagrin now he could hear, and what he heard was a cry of pain and agony. Ryouga turned preparing to run to the girls aid, when he heard something that froze him in his tracks.
"Ryouga, Prepare to DIE."
The words were literally hissed, the once familiar voice so cold that it crackled in the summer sun. When he turned back the Lost Boy saw a sight that he knew would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life . . . assuming he survived to lead that life.
Ranma's face was deathly pale, drained of all emotions, but her eyes were not. Her expressive sapphire eyes were as cold and hard as glacier ice and just about as forgiving.
"YOU . . . HURT . . . MY . . . DAUGHTER . . . "the words sounded as if they were pulled from very depths of Ranma's soul. "NOW . . . YOU . . . WILL . . . PAY."
Though delivered in a soft voice, Ryouga did not make the mistake of thinking they were an harmless. For perhaps the very first time Ryouga felt real fear when facing Ranma. This was the Ranma that had faced Saffron and won . . . this was a Ranma willing . . . nay eager to kill. If he had been asked before today if he would ever see Ranma in this state he would've said no . . . but now he knew, Saotome Ranma could only be pushed so far . . . and he had just crossed the line. He didn't understand what Ranma meant about hitting his daughter, the girl was to old to be Ranma's child, but Ryouga didn't think he was going to live long enough to find out just what Ranma did mean by his strange statement.
The last words Ryouga heard were ones he had spoken so often, and the last thing he saw before the blackness overtook him was the strident green light of a Perfect Shishi Hokoudan.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Oh SHIT!" Pluto screamed, "HOTARU!"
Setsuna watched helplessly as her daughter in all but name ran into the meadow, ran to protect her mother and was batted away as easily as a fly by the berserk martial artist. She didn't know why everyone was calling Michiru by the name of Ranma but right now she didn't care. Grabbing her henshin pen she transformed. If Hotaru was dead the boy was going to follow her . . . and follow her NOW!" There was no trace of the calm Pluto, no trace of the emotionless automaton that many believed her to be. For once in her long life emotions flowed from the woman like a flood, and like a flood they threatened to overwhelm all obstacles in her path
"Wait!" Chibi-Usa screamed grabbing Pluto before she could fire off a Dead Scream. "Hotaru will be okay! It's going to be OKAY! Don't kill him!"
The young senshi was fighting off tears of her own. She had known about the fight but hadn't known that it was going to be so brutal or that Hotaru was going to get hurt. She scowled as she thought about Pluto's last words to her. Pu-chan had known how bad it was going to be, and hadn't told her for fear that she'd interfere, she had made her promise not to interfere no matter what. Pu-chan had also made her promise not to let hew own past self go on the rampage either.
"LET ME GO!" Setsuna yelled back, all traces of the cold emotionless Pluto vanishing without a trace as she watched her family being attacked.
"NO, IT WILL BE OKAY." Usa refused to let go, she knew that Pluto had to be stopped from interfering or the timeline was going to be in big trouble. "This has already happened for me and they will both be alright. We need to leave."
"LEAVE! You have got to be kidding. I'm not leaving." Setsuna snarled, looking at the neo princess with disbelief.
"You said you'd act this way," Usa tried to smile, though the expression was awfully weak. "Look at this."
Chibi-Usa handed a folded note to her mentor. Despite knowing that everything should turn out fine, she too was upset. If she had known a way to keep Hotaru from getting hurt she would have taken it.
Usa sighed with relief when Pluto finished reading the message to herself, though she took no enjoyment from the fear and frustration written large across her face.
"Fine," Pluto snapped, "But if they aren't back by morning I'm coming back up here and . . . "
"They will be Pu-chan, they will be,"
"But how, even if they transform those injuries won't be healed by tomorrow?"
"The Masaki's will take care of them Pu-chan, they'll be alright," Usa soothed, "They'll be alright. Now we've got to get out of here before they come looking for us. Its not time to meet them yet."
With a defeated sigh, Sailor Pluto grabbed Usa's hand and they vanished.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"How are they doing Washu?"
The self-proclaimed greatest scientist in the universe turned toward the soft hesitant voice.
"They'll ALL be fine," she stressed, "Tsunami stabilized them and we got them to my lab quickly enough that no permanent damage was done.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am very sure they'll be fine . . . even Him," Washu pointed with disgust to the tube holding the young man who had attacked Michiru and the other girl after the fight with Happosai.
"I've reset Michiru's arm and leg, the healing tube will have her back in shape by morning. The other injuries were all much easier to deal with. The only real problem she has now is the amount of energy that she expended during the fight. She'll need to rest and eat quite a bit once she is released."
"What about the girl?" Ryoko asked.
"I said they'll all be fine," the red haired genius repeated with some exasperation.
"Now shoo on out of here. It will be hours before any of them wake up."
Washu herded the well-wishers out of her lab. Not even Nodoka was allowed to remain. It took some convincing to get her to leave her daughter, but Washu, with Katsuhito's help managed it. They promised her that if there were any changes Washu would know in plenty of time to get her back to the lab and that the sensors would let them know before any of the patients woke up. Nodoka would be able to be there when Michiru opened her eyes. Right now staying would do no one any good, and they all needed to get their minds on something else, anything else to take their minds off of the injured.
Humming to herself Washu turned back to her keyboard. These four were just soooo interesting. Especially Michiru and the other girl. There was something about them that sounded warning bells deep in the recesses of her mind. There was something more than just Michiru's sex, thought that in itself was interesting enough. The flame haired genius didn't know what had caused Ranma to become Michiru, but whatever it was had changed her down to the genetic level, had altered her very DNA. Washu knew that the primitives here on earth didn't possess the technology or know how to do it . . . so how had it happened. The girl was surrounded by several distinct energy fields, unrelated, yet somehow merging into a unified whole. The other girl had fewer such energy fields, but the ones she did have were even stronger than Michiru's. There was something about the girls that tugged at her subconscious. What it was she didn't know yet, but she was Washu, she would find out.
10. Meetings, Discussions and New Beginnings...
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
A/N – Just in case it's not clear the first few paragraphs of this chapter occur before the Scouts teleport home. (Which was done in Ch. 9) I wanted to expand that encounter a bit, hopefully it's not to confusing. Also thanks to a review from Ranma Crossover Archive who mentioned some misspellings on names. Went back to my original sources and by golly (g) he was right. Saotome is now spelled correctly and fixed the (inadvertent) confusion with Misaki (Ayeka & Sasami's mom) and Masaki (the Clan) I knew the difference but apparently my fingers did not as I had it correct most – but not all the time. See additional authors notes at end of the story.
Forever the Tomboy Ch. 10 ---
Meetings, Discussions and New Beginnings?
"Let me go Usa," the now transformed senshi of Pluto snarled, "I'm going to kill that bastard, now LET ME GO!" Pluto glared as the as yet unmoving form laying so close to Michiru. Whatever attack she had used had dropped him in his tracks, but even so Pluto wasn't satisfied.
She was however, astounded at the strength of the younger girl's grip on her arm as she struggled to pull free. The senshi of Pluto wanted, no needed really, to get loose and vent her anger on the one who so richly deserved it. Uncharacteristically, tears poured down her face, her anger was mixed with a good portion of grief as she looked out at the fallen forms lying ever so still in the sun drenched meadow. Two of the four meant the world to her, the other two nothing. To Setsuna it didn't seem right that the sun was shining or that the birds were singing so merrily around her when her heart was filled with so much pain.
The senshi of time knew that sometimes losses occurred. She knew that the good guys didn't always win . . . and sometimes even the price of victory was to steep. She was reminded of the words of a Yankee General from the American's own Civil War. With a wisdom that might not have been suspected of him he had said that "The only thing worse than a battle won was a battle lost."
Those words rang true to her today. Michiru had won her fight, and had paid quite a price to gain that victory. But what happened to her next went far beyond what Setsuna was willing to accept. She still didn't know exactly why Michiru had to come here, but she did know that her friend had been hurt and hurt badly. Not only was she hurt from the fight with Happosai, she had been blindsided by some stranger while she was still reeling from the damage she had taken in that fight.
The hate-filled voice of the bandana wearing boy still echoed in her mind. The fool had attacked with no warning other than a single hate filled scream and the words "Ranma prepare to die," as he attempted to strike Michiru down. Not only that, but he had been so lost in his rage that he had hurt Hotaru when she tried to stop his unwarranted attack.
At the present moment the only thoughts running through Pluto's mind were those of vengeance. She was going to feed him a Dead Scream, . . . a full blown, no holding back version of her favorite attack and she realllly hoped that it wouldn't kill him. This hope was not born out of any feeling of remorse or pity, no she hoped he survived so she could do it again and again until he felt at least a fraction of the overwhelming pain that she was experiencing.
Setsuna was normally the epitome of control, but not here and not now. Right now she control was the last thing on her mind. Right now she wanted nothing more and nothing less than to inflict a whole world of pain on the one who had hurt her family, she wanted him to SUFFER. Right now she was almost as lost in her anger and pain as the coward who had hurt Hotaru. She knew that if she could pry herself loose from Chibi-Usa she was going to act, . . . just this once, on what was in her heart instead of listening to what her intellect told her to do.
Setsuna saw Usa looking up at her. It was clear that the Moon Princess was a little shocked by the sheer depth of Pluto's anger and hatred. Why the younger girl was so shocked she didn't know, surely Usa knew how much Michiru and Hotaru meant to her. They were her family. True she wasn't either's lover, but love them both she did, with all her heart. The only bond, the only feelings in her heart that rivaled her love for her family was the duty she had to serve Usagi/Serenity.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chibi-Usa was hanging on to Pluto's arm for dear life,. She had seen to much of her friend Pu-chan to ever believe that Pluto was the "emotionless bitch" her reputation painted her to be, but even she was surprised by the sheer depth of Pluto's anger. She had never seen the senshi of Pluto so close to loosing control, never seen the implacable look in her eyes that said "To Hell with everything else." She had never ever seen such a total lack of control over her emotions as Pluto was exhibiting now.
Usa held on desperately, she knew that if she let go Setsuna would cut loose and do something that she would (eventually) come to regret. Even with her "knowledge of what was to come" she didn't know why she had to stop Pluto from blasting the boy. To be honest she wanted to do the same. But despite her craving for vengeance Usa knew that she had to keep Pluto under control . . . she just hoped that she could.
To say that Setsuna was mad was like saying it got cold on Pluto. The words were true, but failed to convey the full weight of the truth they gave. Chibi-Usa had never seen her friend and mentor quite so angry . . . no enraged. Setsuna was positively livid, but somehow Setsuna's anger was both cold and hot. It was like a cold so intense that it would literally burn. Usa knew that if she didn't get Pluto out of here, and out of here NOW, that the older woman was going to go ballistic on the young man that had attacked Hotaru and Michiru. Usa only hoped that if Pluto got free that the boys end would be quick . . . and to judge by the look in her friend's eyes she doubted that he would be so lucky.
Usa felt hot tears of her own flowing freely from her own eyes as she considered the situation. Michiru was hurt, badly hurt and she wasn't transformed so her healing magic would not be kicking in to help. Even before the strange boy had arrived and attacked she had been in bad shape, his attack only made things worse. The Senshi of Neptune's arm was obviously broken and from the sound of the old guys last attack so was her leg. Usa knew that she would hear the sound of that final exchange, hear the sickening sound of breaking bones in her dreams for a long time to come.
Then to make matters worse she had been attacked again. True, Michiru dropped her attacker in his tracks, but she had no more than fired off that strange attack when she collapsed. Usa didn't know what the heck a Shishi Hokoudan was, in all the training she and the other Senshi had endured under Neptune rigorous training, she had never seen that attack before. Whatever it was it had drained her completely as Michiru had fallen bonelessly to the ground as soon as the sickly green attack had hit. It was as if the attack had drained her completely, emptying her vast reserves of energy in one final act of retribution. Nodoka had moved quickly to Michiru's side and began checking looking her over, only to be pushed gently aside by the young girl with blue hair.
Hotaru, well she didn't know how her best friend was doing either. The attack she had interrupted had been devilishly powerful. It looked like the boy had tried to pull his attack, but if he had he hadn't been able to do so completely. Usa still heard the sickening sound the blow had made when it hit. The blow had tossed Hotaru several yards away, where she had landed in a broken heap. Hotaru's arms and legs were splayed out awkwardly and she was lying very, very still. Hotaru looked like a broken doll carelessly thrown on a trash heap, and she hadn't moved since the impact, nor had she made a single sound, not even a moan of pain.
Despite her concern for her "mama" and friend, Usa remembered her instructions from future Pluto and clung to them like a lifeline. Pluto's final words to her before sending her back had been simple and direct.
"Don't interfere. They will be okay."
Future Pluto had spoken the words calmly, almost emotionlessly, but even Usa had noticed the pain in Pluto's eyes, a pain that still lingered even after so many years. It hadn't even registered until know that Pluto had said "they'll" be okay instead of "Michiru" will be okay.
No matter how much she wanted to fly to her friend's side, no matter how worried she was or became Pluto's words still echoed forcefully in her mind. "Don't interfere." These words had been repeated several times by Pluto before she had been allowed to come back to the past. Indeed they were the last words Usa had heard before taking the trip back, one final admonition, a final promise extracted to leave things alone and to prevent "past" Pluto from interfering as well.
Usa wanted to go to her friend's aid, but instead she had to fight against those urges and she had to get Setsuna to leave. Leaving her friends behind was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done, harder than fighting, harder than keeping secrets she so wanted to tell the others, harder than anything she had ever done.
"We can't interfere Pu-chan, we can't," Usa whispered brokenly, not once relinquishing or even letting up on her grip. "No matter how much we want to."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Setsuna spat on the ground, anger filling her heart, filling it as she considered her options. She could ignore Chibi-Usa and drop a Dead Scream on the bastard who had hurt her friends or she could ignore what was in her heart and leave. It was a tough choice, but one that she was going to have to make.
Setsuna sighed and pushed her rage away, then turned back to the meadow and stared at her friends with a final pain filled gaze before relenting. To her relief she saw that both Michiru and Hotaru were being attended to. The auburn haired woman who looked so much like Michiru was kneeling beside the Senshi of Neptune and watching as the youngest member of the other group was kneeling by Michiru's side. To Pluto's amazement she saw a bluish glow emanating from the girl's hands, and a look of peace come across Michiru's pain contorted features. Hotaru wasn't being ignored either, a short distance away the older man was checking on her. His face was concerned, but his expression was intent and focused, not hopeless, as he checked the young girl's vital signs. His expression gave Setsuna some hope that all would be well.
Slumping in resignation Setsuna turned back to Chibi-Usa. Duty warred with her heart's desire, and as usual for the Senshi of Pluto, duty won, though the battle was close and hard fought. Pluto followed her mind instead of her heart and teleported out taking Chibi-Usa with her.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A single heartbeat later the pair reappeared. This time instead of finding themselves in an unfamiliar woods gazing into a brightly lit, but somehow still dark meadow, they arrived in the living room of her home. These were surroundings that normally brought comfort and a sense of love to the weary senshi of Pluto, a place that normally filled her with peace, but right now peace was hard to find and was far from either's mind.
"Small Lady, I think its time we had a talk," Setsuna growled.
The normally calm and imperturbable Sailor Pluto was a mess. Silver tracks glistened brightly on her face showing where her tears had so uncharacteristically flowed. Normally Meiou Setsuna was as hard to read as a Los Vegas cardsharp, but right now the expression on her lovely face was so easy to read a child could have done so. Of course a child seeing the look of anger writ so large and clear would likely run after a single glance. Right now Setsuna's fear and anguish was written across her face with a bold hand and as clearly read as the guilt on the face of a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Setsuna's red eyes glowed with barely suppressed anger as she pondered the events she had seen.
What she wanted to do was go back, to leave Chibi-Usa here and return to that meadow now that Usa had finally released the iron grip she had on her arm. She knew she could teleport before Usa had a chance to grab her again, and Pluto desperately wanted do so. She wanted to go and find the boy that had struck down her daughter, who had in a blind rage attacked her friend. As a result her mask of calm was gone and what was left in its place was anger and rage. Few looking at her now would be able to meet her eyes at all, and even fewer would be able to do so without fear.
The current recipient of her glare was no different than most. Despite their long friendship, at the moment she could see that even Chibi-Usa had difficulty meeting her fiery gaze.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chibi-Usa shuddered at the intensity of Setsuna's released emotions. The young neo princess had heard the expression "If looks could kill," but this was the first time that she ever thought the saying might actually be true.
"What do you want to know Pu-chan?" Usa questioned softly, sadness and more than a little resignation in her voice.
"I want to know just what the HELL is going on . . . I want to know everything that you do. I want to know why Michiru was there. I want to know why that old man was calling her "boy" and "Ranma" I want to know everything you know." Setsuna's voice trembled with emotion as she spoke, though hints of calm were even now returning to it.
"I still can't tell you everything," Usa evaded. Seeing the impatience in the older woman's eyes the young neo-princess quickly continued. "Didn't you say that you were going to meet yourself at the Time Gates later? "
"Yes I did," Pluto answered, "But not until after the meeting at Rei's."
"Then I can't. You will tell yourself what you need to know."
Pausing for a moment to take several deep breaths Pluto continued. "You said Hotaru and Michiru were going to be okay. Are you sure about that? They weren't transformed so . . . "
"Yes Pu-chan I am sure," Usa interrupted confidently. "The Masaki's will take good care of them. Despite how it looked neither was hurt so badly that they'll be down for long."
"Are you sure? I mean Happosai broke her arm and probably her leg and that final attack Michiru used apparently drained her completely." Pluto questioned hesitantly. "And from the looks of things Hotaru probably has some broken ribs as well. I mean that guy knocked her flying with that umbrella he used."
So caught up in their conversation were the two senshi that they neglected to take a close look at their surroundings. Pluto had teleported them back home, to the only real sanctuary she had outside of her palace/quarters on Pluto. Neither woman had bothered to take note of who else might be present. They had been lucky that Haruka wasn't home when they arrived. Their attention for the moment was focused on their pain and on each other that they hadn't noticed that fact, but their luck was about to take a turn for the worse. Neither noticed the sound of the front door being opened.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Haruka was bored. School had been the usual, go to class, take notes, try to stay awake. Nothing strange or unusual had happened all day, no youma, no demons (or whatever those things were last night) nor any other enemy had shown up. All in all a rather boring day . . . and to make matters worse she had spent it alone. It still surprised her just how much Michiru's presence meant to her. Even boring days were more tolerable when she was with her lover, even when absolutely nothing was going on Michiru's mere presence made things better.
After school she had gone to the racetrack. She had hoped spending some time there would relieve the boredom, but even her love for racing and the speed induced high she normally experienced when racing hadn't helped. It seemed that nothing could hold her attention today. Even on the racetrack her mind was on her lover . . . and that wasn't good. Haruka was an experienced racer and knew just how quickly an accident could happen, when moving at the speeds she was used to concentration on the track and car was paramount.
Haruka knew that the others often considered her oblivious to anything that didn't involve, racing, fighting, Michiru or Hotaru, but that wasn't quite true. She might not be on the same level as Ami, Michiru or Setsuna intellectually, but that didn't mean she was clueless. She knew that there was still more that Michiru was holding back, there was still something (or several something's) lurking in the deepest recesses of her lover's mind, some secret she wasn't quite ready to share. Something that even now Michiru was afraid to tell her. Despite the revelations of the previous evening and the comfort they had given each other, Michiru was still afraid . . . and that worried the blond more than the prospect of a fight . . . and hurt her as well. Michiru was normally impervious to fear, somehow managing to make her way through even the worst of fights with a serenity, a focus that had to be seen to be believed. To see her so . . . unsure . . . of herself was troubling.
Even after she had "come clean" about her relationship with Saotome Nodoka, Haruka could sense that there were secrets Michiru still held inside. While she couldn't explain how she knew that in words that would make sense, Haruka knew that it was true.
The senshi of Uranus sighed as she parked her car and headed toward the house. She trusted Michiru, trusted her with her life and her love. For now she'd just have to be patient and hope that the other woman would be ready to talk, and hopefully soon. She hated being in the dark . . . but even more than that she hated to see the fear in Michiru's expressive blue eyes. Haruka loved Michiru with all her heart and when Michiru was in pain she felt it as well.
Haruka opened the door to her home and walked in . . . just in time to hear Setsuna's pain filled voice.
"Are you sure they'll be okay? I mean Happosai broke her arm and probably her leg and that final attack Michiru used apparently drained her completely." Pluto questioned hesitantly. "And from the looks of things Hotaru probably has some broken ribs as well. I mean that guy knocked her flying with that umbrella he used."
The words took a moment to sink in. What the hell was Setsuna talking about. Michiru hurt, how? All Michiru had planned for today was going to see some of her old teachers today. Why would she be hurt . . . unless of course she had run into more demons. But if that were true why did Setsuna call "him" by name. If she had been in a fight why hadn't Michiru she transformed? True even transformed they weren't invulnerable, but they were exponentially harder to hurt than when in their "civilian" form . . . and why was Hotaru with her. Haruka knew that neither had called for help, neither had used their communicators to advise anyone that they were in a fight. Not only that but Hotaru was supposed to be in school today! No one had said anything about Hotaru going anywhere with Michiru today.
"What the HELL are you talking about Setsuna?" Haruka snarled interrupting any further conversation between the two women.
If her lover or her daughter were hurt she was going to drop a load of hurt on who or whatever injured them.
"Eeeppp," Chibi-Usa jumped, then groaned. If things weren't already tough enough trying to keep Pu-chan from doing something that could mess with the time-stream, now Haruka was involved . . . and Haruka tended to be a bit . . . extreme in her reactions to problems.
Haruka watched as Chibi-Usa's expression moved from surprise, to guilt, then worry. It was Setsuna's expression that startled her the most though. The normally impassive mask the woman habitually wore was gone, fear and anguish shone as clearly as a full moon on a cloudless night. Not only that but it was clear from the silvery tracks down her cheeks that she had been crying. Haruka felt a lump growing in her throat, and a sick uneasy feeling in her stomach, Setsuna was crying. She never thought she would see the day when that would happen. Whatever had happened had clearly thrown the older woman for a loop . . . and that fact alone was enough to positively terrify Haruka. She had seen Sailor Pluto stare Death straight in the face with without blinking. She had seen Pluto die showing less emotion showing than she was displaying right now.
"Haruka . . . "Setsuna began, her voice hoarse from crying and cracking from suppressed pain, "Michiru has been hurt."
"I got that part Setsuna," Haruka interrupted impatiently and in a voice laced with sarcasm. "What I want to know is how and where she is now."
""I'll get to that if you'll let me," Setsuna snapped, faint traces of her "normal" self coming through in her tone.
"Michiru wasn't going to see her music sensei. Apparently she had a different kind of meeting in mind," Setsuna spoke slowly, the need to calm her rather explosive friend being just what she needed to allow her to regain control over her own emotions.
Haruka paused consideringly at her companion's words, then nodded with a sharp jerky motion of her head. Trying to recall just what Michiru had told her Haruka nodded again, this time with a touch less anger. Michiru hadn't exactly said she was going to see her musical instructors, she had only said that she didn't think Haruka would want to meet "her sensei." Haruka knew that Michiru very seldom out and out lied. Hell she usually didn't have to. Like Setsuna, Michiru was a master at telling the truth in such a way that the listener heard what she expected to hear . . . and not a thing more.
"Go on,"
"Well, she . . . she apparently was meeting with one of her former martial arts instructors."
"Oh, so they were sparring and there was an accident?" Haruka answered with relief.
"No, not exactly," Again Setsuna spoke slowly, carefully choosing her words.
"What do you mean 'not exactly?'" Haruka pressed.
"Apparently she had a . . . disagreement . . . with one of her former sensei. She met him as part of a formal duel."
"A DUEL!!" Haruka yelled. "What the HELL are you talking about? Why would Michiru duel anyone, and why the HELL didn't she tell me?"
The green haired Senshi of Time looked down, unable for once to meet Haruka's angry gaze.
"I don't know why . . . at least not with any certainty. My future self told me when and where the fight was to take place and that I was supposed to take Hotaru and Chibi-Usa. I didn't tell myself anything more than that."
"You took Hotaru with you? Why her and not me?" this time it was Haruka's voice that resounded with hurt. "Did Michiru tell you to leave me out of this?"
"NO! It's nothing like that." This time it was the diminutive moon princess who answered. "Michiru didn't even know we were there. At least she didn't until Hotaru ran out into the meadow where Michiru was."
"YOU!" Haruka growled and shot Chibi-Usa a venomous look. Normally Haruka actually liked Chibi-Usa, after all she was one of Hotaru's closest friends. "What do you know about this?"
Chibi-Usa forced herself to meet Haruka's fiery eyes.
"More than I am allowed to say right now," She answered softly, guilt riding in her voice. "I didn't know that Hotaru was going to get hurt though."
"Dammit Usa!" Haruka cursed. "You knew Michiru was going to be hurt and you didn't . . . "
"Haruka, I couldn't do anything," Chibi-Usa was nearly in tears. "Don't you think I would have if I could?"
Ignoring Usa's tears Haruka turned her eyes back to Setsuna she continued. "I see that she's been hanging around you too long." Haruka stated flatly, ice crackling in her voice. "I suppose that you didn't tell me because you were afraid I'd mess with the time-stream."
"I know it won't make you feel any better Haruka," Setsuna began softly, "But apparently I didn't even trust myself enough to tell me anything ahead of time. I had no idea what was going to happen. I didn't even know there was going to be a fight until it was to late . . . and I still don't know what is going on. I'm supposed to meet me at the Time Gates after our meeting at Rei's today."
The blond senshi snorted. "You're right, that doesn't help."
Fighting her anger Haruka speared both of the other women with a gimlet glare. "Fine then what CAN you tell me."
This time it was Chibi-Usa who responded. "All I can tell you right now is that Michiru had a formal due with someone named Happosai. Terms were discussed before the fight. Apparently Happosai has trained Michiru in unarmed combat. She did something to make him mad and as a result he denied her the right to practice his style, for any reason," she emphasized, "At least until she beat him in a duel. They met today for that duel . . . "
"And," Haruka prodded when Chibi-Usa trailed off.
"They fought." Pluto chimed in. "I knew that Michiru was quite good from watching her grow up, far better than she ever let on. I knew that she wasn't showing us even a small fraction of her skill. What I didn't know was why she was acting this way. Until today it really hasn't mattered as we've managed to beat all of our opponents anyway. I figured that sooner or later we'd find out what was going on, but I never expected it to be like this."
"What do you mean?"
"Haruka," Setsuna hesitated, she knew how much her fighting skills meant to the blond senshi. She knew how much pride Haruka took in being the best fighter among the senshi. "Michiru is one of the best martial artists I've ever seen."
To say that Haruka was stunned would be to say that the sun was hot, a massive understatement if ever there was one.
"One of the best you've ever seen?" she stuttered.
"Yes. The man she fought was incredible too. He is apparently the Grandmaster of his style."
"A Grandmaster? Haruka puzzled, "And you say that Michiru fought him?"
"Yes, Not only did she fight him . . . she won!"
"Michiru beat a Grandmaster?" Haruka murmured with more than a little shock in her voice, "I take it she was using a bokken."
"No Haruka," Usa picked up the conversation. "They both fought unarmed."
The senshi of Uranus felt her jaw drop open. If this were an anime she knew her jaw would be hitting the floor right about now. When were the surprises going to stop? She had just yesterday learned that her lover was a sword master, probably a Grandmaster of her style, and now she had defeated a Grandmaster of unarmed combat as well . . . and beat him in his own art. Haruka felt her mind slipping toward overload and shutdown. Then a light dawned on her.
"Did you say Anything Goes?"
"Yes I did, why?" Setsuna answered.
"I've heard of that style. There was an article in one of my magazines about it a few months ago. It's a family art and is supposed to be one of the deadliest styles around. How in Kami's name did she learn it?" She paused for a moment before continuing. "Dammit, I remember now. Two families practice that style the Tendo family and the Saotome family. She must have learned it from Nodoka!"
"I don't know if that's right or not." Pluto answered honestly. "I monitored all of you while you were growing up and I never saw her with anyone who looked like the guy she fought today. The only Art I saw her practice with Saotome Nodoka was the sword."
Haruka growled with frustration. "I think she and I are going to have a little talk about all of this. I'm more than a little tired of all the secrets that she's kept from me . . . from us," Haruka added after a moments consideration. "I've had just about had it up to here with all these secrets." Then under her breath, so softly the that the others could barely make out the words she continued, "Why didn't she trust me with this, why?"
Shaking her head Haruka paused then tried to push her worries aside for the moment.
"So where is she . . . and what happened to Hotaru?"
"They're with some friends of Michiru's," Chibi-Usa answered hesitantly. "But we can't go see them right now." She finished quickly seeing the look of determination in Haruka's eyes.
"WHY NOT?" Haruka ground her words out.
"Because we can't, I can't tell you more than that right now. Maybe after we talk to Michiru and Hotaru we'll know more," Usa answered firmly. "Future Pluto told me that none of us could see the Masaki's or make contact with them yet. Don't worry, she also told me that everything will both be fine."
Haruka literally snarled as she pointed to the couch. "Both of you sit. I want to know everything that you are "allowed" to tell me," The irritation in her voice at the restriction was clear, as was her anger at her helplessness.
"Well, its like this," Setsuna began. "We followed Michiru to the home of Saotome Nodoka. She went in and spent about an hour there. When she came out she was dressed strangely. She was wearing boys clothes, in a Chinese style and for some reason they were to big for her."
"Yeah," Usa interjected, "There were at least two sizes to big. Not only that but she had died her hair red."
"That's her natural color," Haruka interjected absently. "I don't know why she changed it. I mean she'd look really hot as a redhead," Haruka paused for a moment imagining he lover with fiery red hair instead of the cool blue color she preferred. "Go on."
"Well from there we killed some time at the mall. When it was time I teleported us to the location my future self told me to go to. At that time I still didn't know why we were going there. We waited about half an hour, then Grandmaster Happosai arrived with another woman. Hotaru called her Kasumi and said she was the woman that they had gone to see in Nerima yesterday."
Seeing the look of jealousy growing in Haruka's expressive blue eyes, Setsuna quickly continued.
"Not long after that Michiru arrived with a group of other people. Saotome Nodoka was one of them, there was also a Shinto Priest, a boy and six other girls with them. They were a strange looking group as they all had rather . . . unique hair colors as well, not a single brunette or black haired one in the bunch. In fact one had hair almost he same shade as Michiru's normal color," Setsuna mused. "Then Nodoka and the Priest followed Michiru into the clearing, the others stopped at the edge where Kasumi joined them. Michiru talked to Happosai for a while, setting the terms of the duel." Setsuna paused with a puzzled look on her face.
Haruka nodded, then motioned for Setsuna to continue.
"That was a strange conversation let me tell you. For some reason Happosai kept calling her "boy". I think he called her "Ranma" once or twice, and the terms were rather weird as well."
"What was strange about them?" Haruka prodded.
"Welllll, Michiru basically promised to do a porn layout for him and to move in with him for a week if she lost." Setsuna answered hesitantly.
"She DID WHAT?" Haruka yelled.
"She agreed to pose for him in lingerie and to even allow him to take some nude photographs of her."
"I don't believe it! Why the hell would she agree to that? Did she look like she was drugged or under a spell?" Haruka was more than a little puzzled when she heard those terms.
Haruka knew how much Michiru hated it when boys came on to her. Why would she agree to terms like that? The only thing that Haruka could think of was that either Michiru was confident she would win, (which didn't make sense if she was fighting a Grandmaster), or that the match was so important to her that she was willing to risk paying even that price if she lost.
"We didn't believe it either, and no she didn't appear to be drugged or anything. I thought Hotaru was going to blow a gasket when she heard the terms. But Michiru agreed. If she won agreed to license her to use and teach his style and to, as she put it, he had to 'Leave her the Hell alone'. They talked for a few more minutes then the fight started."
Setsuna took a few minutes to give a rather detailed account of the fight. She still found Michiru's skill level hard to believe, and to judge from the look on Haruka's face she wasn't the only one with that problem. Setsuna watched as pride warred with disbelief on Haruka's expressive face as she listened. Haruka's expression darkened as she listened to Setsuna describe the final moments of the fight. Her expression turned to one of fury when the attack by the stranger was described . . . and to one of unadulterated rage when she found out how Hotaru was injured.
"I'm going to find that bastard and kill him!" This time the words were not yelled, they were spoken softly, almost reverently, but with a cold passion that left no doubt in either listener's mind that Haruka was indeed likely to try and kill the boy if she ever found him.
"You can't." Usa interjected firmly. "And no I don't know why."
"That son of a bitch deserves to die for what he did." Haruka argued.
"Maybe he does, but not by your hands, Pluto told me that I was to make sure that Michiru handled it. " Chibi-Usa met Uranus's angry eyes with her own. She wanted revenge nearly as much as the others, but she also knew that such was not to be . . . at least not yet.
"Fine," the snarl was back in Haruka's voice. "I know Michiru and she won't take it lightly that someone hurt Hotaru."
"No she won't," both Setsuna and Usa agreed shuddering. While Michiru was normally as calm a person as you'd ever run into, when she finally did get mad . . . brrrrrr she was SCARY.
"She's already exacted some revenge. I don't know what she did, but the attack she used dropped him like a pole-axed steer." Chibi-Usa stated with more than a little satisfaction. "He won't be getting up for quite a while."
"So what can we do in the meantime? Can't we at least call and make sure they are okay?" Haruka uncharacteristically pleaded.
Chibi-Usa thought for a moment then nodded her assent. "I think we can do that much at least."
Usa headed over to the phone and quickly dialed, her fingers flashing over the buttons with the ease of long practice.
Setsuna and Haruka exchanged measuring looks. It seemed that Chibi-Usa hadn't yet told them all that she knew. The neo-princess hadn't looked up the number or even referred to any notes. She had dialed it as if it were a familiar number she used often. Since she wouldn't be using a telephone when she was in Crystal Tokyo, that must mean that she knew (or would know) them here in the present. Both women listened closely as she spoke into the phone eager to gain news of their family . . . and just as eager to glean additional facts from Chibi-Usa if she made any more mistakes.
"Hello, May I speak to Masaki Katsuhito?"
There was a long pause then Usa spoke again, introducing herself as a friend of Michiru and Hotaru and asking about her friends' condition. There was a long pause, then Usa smiled, relief flooding her face as she hung up the phone.
"He said they are doing fine," Chibi-Usa smiled, "and they should be up and around tomorrow."
Haruka felt a myriad of emotions at the news. Relief was mingled with anger and some hurt as well. She felt relief that her family was going to be fine. She was angry that they had been hurt and desperately wanted to go find and "chastise" the one that had injured her family. Haruka was also feeling a bit hurt that she had been excluded from today's events, and even more disappointed that the most important people in her life had kept secrets from her, secrets that had let them get hurt . . . when she might have been able to prevent it.
The revelations of the last two days were beginning to take their toll and the blond senshi. She wondered what was going to happen to her family. Were things ever going to return to "normal?"
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The woman formerly known as Saotome Nodoka paced restlessly, for once her normally serene expression replaced by one of nervous worry. The girl Washu had shooed them all out of the . . . well whatever you could call the space beneath the stairs that she occupied. Of course it was clear, even to the densest of observers that the laboratory whose entrance was the closet doorway, was not really under the stairs. Where it actually was Nodoka didn't have a clue, but given its size and the amazing contents contained therein, it was not something of this Earth.
She looked around the living room at her companions. For the moment they were quiet, as if the events of the day were shocking even to them. Ryoko and Ayeka were hovering protectively around her "nephew" Tenchi. Little Sasami was puttering about cleaning what was already an immaculately clean room. Mihoshi and Kiyone had left saying they had to go to work. Her sensei was sitting calmly nearby, drinking tea as if nothing was wrong.
Nodoka still didn't know quite what to make of the situation. If the events of today had happened even two short years ago she doubted that she would be able to handle them quite so calmly. If confronted with people who were either aliens or oni she probably would've either passed out or run like the hordes of hell were after her.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at them the last two years had really opened her eyes to the strange and unusual. Given her own skills at ki manipulation and reading she had known for a years that the world view and limits that "normal" people accepted were more an illusion than a reality. Even so it was still quite a shock to discover that magic, curses and demons were real as real as the ability to use ki. However, once those truths were accepted it wasn't much of a stretch to believe in Oni or space aliens . . . though a part of her still expected them to look a little less human and more exotic than the Masakis and their friends.
Nodoka still wanted to know more about the situation here, just what was their relationship to her ancestor Funaho. Was it really possible that she was still alive, and that she was Katsuhito's mother. Despite her desire to find answers to these questions she remained still. Common courtesy and her duties as a guest of the Masaki family quelled her desire to ask these questions. Until they were ready to talk she would have to accept their silence. The former Saotome, now ronin, let her eyes drift to her sensei.
It was amazing to think that the man who had taught her the Art was from another world, that he was in fact an alien or at least half alien. She blushed as she recalled the crush that she had on Katsuhito when she was younger. Achika had loved to tease her about it. Nodoka had known that nothing would come of it of course, Katsuhito was a married man who was obviously (and completely) in love with his wife, but a girl's first crush had failed to take those things into consideration and a "first crush" was something to fondly remember.
"Nodoka, would you like to spar?" her musings were interrupted by the voice of her sensei.
Nodoka's blush grew and she mentally chastised herself for her inattention. Lost in memories of a more pleasant time she had nearly forgotten where she was and what she was doing.
"Hai sensei," she answered, "But I am hardly dressed for the occasion."
"I believe we can take care of that," Katsuhito answered gently. "If you would follow me up to the shrine I believe I have an extra set of clothes you can use."
"If it would not be to much trouble sensei," Nodoka stammered, "It would help keep me occupied until Michiru recovers."
"That was my intention Nodoka-chan," the older man responded with a slight smile. "I hope you still remember the way."
"Yes sensei, I do,"
"Then by all means shall we go?" Turning toward Tenchi and the others he continued. "Would the rest of you like to come and observe? Tenchi I believe that you will find it most instructive."
"Yes grandfather. We will meet you there in a few minutes."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The silence after Katsuhito and Nodoka's departure was broken by a soft chiming giggle from Sasami.
"What are you laughing at sister?" Ayeka asked, turning her attention away from Tenchi and toward her younger sibling.
"Just that Aunty Nodoka was looking at Grandfather the same way that you and Ryoko look at Tenchi."
"What are you talking about Sasami?" Tenchi questioned.
"I think Aunty has a crush on grandfather," Sasami giggled again. "Didn't you see the way she kept sneaking looks at him?"
"I think you are seeing things that aren't there Sasami. Aunty Nodoka was his student and she knows him, she doesn't know anyone else here but me." Tenchi responded, hesitating before he continued. "Are you sure?"
Despite her apparent youth the young Jurian Prince knew that Sasami was extremely perceptive. If she said she saw something she may well have. He was used to her picking up on subtle clues, seeing things the others were to unable to see, and if it were Tsunami speaking . . . .
"You know, she did say that she had divorced her husband," Washu noted with an impish grin. "She also said that he had been gone with her son for over ten years, and that when he finally returned to Japan he did not return to her, so she's been alone for over ten years."
This time the other's noticed the stress that the childlike genius placed on the word son.
"Why do you keep saying that Little Washu?" Ayeka asked.
"Saying what Ayeka?" Washu asked innocently.
"It's the way you keep saying son. It sounds as if you know something that we don't. It almost sounds like you are hinting that she doesn't have a son," Ryoko agreed.
"Well, for the moment that's for me to know and for you to wonder about," Washu's impudent grin just dared the others to challenge her. Knowing the diminutive genius this was a challenge that none were eager to accept. Washu wasn't wrong often, and who knows what could happen if Washu was feeling mischievous. "But to get back to the topic at hand, I think Sasami's right."
"I don't know Washu. She was a friend of mother's and he's known her since she was a child. She's so much younger than grandfather that I don't really think that he sees her in that way."
"Maybe, maybe not. But I noticed that your "old" grandfather was watching her awfully closely as well . . . and the look in his eyes reminded me more of your father than his usual 'I'm a wise old priest' expression," Washu retorted. "Besides, even though he looks old we all know that Yosho is just now entering his prime . . . and I don't think that he was looking at her the way a father looks at one of his daughter's friends. Unless of course we're talking about your Dad Tenchi."
"Yup," Sasami's soft laughter morphed into a much more adult sounding laugh, a laugh that sounded like bells. "I think Grandfather has a crush."
"You've got to be kidding me," Ryoko sputtered. "I didn't think the old man had it in him."
"She does seem to be quite the Lady," Ayeka noted, absently capitalizing the word lady. Ayeka had been more than a little impressed by the auburn haired woman. "And if she is of Aunty Funaho's line it would not be strange for him to be attracted to her. After all Aunty did catch father's attention rather dramatically and still has it even now."
"What is it with you Jurians and wanting to marry family," Ryoko teased. "I will admit though that she is quite a looker," Ryoko continued showing her agreement. "And if she's anything like Funaho if she decides she wants him he's in for quite a ride. He'll never know what hit him until its to late."
Ayeka blushed at Ryoko's choice of wording, but for once Ayeka found herself in complete agreement with her greatest rival . . . and sometimes friend.
"True, what Aunty Funaho wants she usually gets," she agreed.
"Yeah," Sasami agreed with another of her angelic giggles. "And she makes everyone else think it was their idea to begin with."
"That is very true Sasami," Ayeka murmured. "She's the only one who even comes close to being as devious as grandmother."
"I still think you guys are seeing things that aren't there," Tenchi replied, "But I have to admit I already think of her as family. She's been Aunty Nodoka ever since I can remember and if she were to . . . "
"Lord Tenchi," Ayeka interrupted, "If we are going to go watch them spar we should leave now."
"I guess you are right Ayeka," turning toward the other ladies he continued. "Shall we go?"
All but Washu nodded and stood preparing for the long walk to the shrine.
"I think I'll stay here. I want to be close by in case one of my patients need anything."
"Are you sure Little Washu?" Tenchi asked. "You said that hey wouldn't be out of the healing tubes until tomorrow."
"Yes Tenchi I'm sure," Washu affirmed. "Besides I'm getting some really interesting data on all four of my patients. It's possible that they make wake up early. I think I'll just stay here and run some more tests before they wake up. Besides, I'll send a couple of Washu-cams up to tape the bout, that way I can review that data as well."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When they arrived at the training area the group stopped, once again taken by surprise at the level of skill that one of the "humans" was showing. It appeared that Lady Nodoka may well be of Funaho's line to judge from the skill and power she was showing. Nodoka and Katsuhito were moving at speeds that were hard to see, both attacking and defending with a grace displayed by only the very best of fighters.
"Wow!" Sasami exclaimed, "She's really good. She does remind me of Aunty Funaho!"
The young princess said thinking about a few of the training sessions she had seen between her own mother Misaki and Aunty Funaho. Funaho might be the Minister of Information, but she more than knew how to take care of herself in a fight. Even Misaki had her hands full when Funaho went full out.
"Yeah," Ryoko agreed. "She's giving Yosho a real run for his money."
The group settled in to watch as the pair dueled. The action taking place was very interesting, but even more so to the observers was the look of contentment on the both warriors' faces as they battled. Both were intent, looking for any opening that would give them an advantage, yet at the same time they seemed to be lost in their shared passion.
"You know, Sasami might be right," Tenchi whispered. "I haven't seen grandfather act like this or look so happy since grandmother died," he finished with a sad tone.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Usagi's late again." Rei fumed, looking at the assembled senshi.
The mood for this meeting was far from normal. Makoto and Minako were sitting together as was usual, but what wasn't normal was the serious look on their faces, and the fact that they weren't talking about boys. Ami was hunched over the Mercury Computer, that was as expected, but the grim look on her face as she looked at the screen was something the rest normally only saw when she was in the midst of a pitched battle. When Ami looked that serious it meant only one thing . . . a new enemy and trouble with a capital T.
Rei continued her rant. "I mean Usagi's always late. That's normal for her, but where are Haruka, Chibi-Usa, Hotaru and Setsuna? This meeting is important. I did a fire reading last night . . . "Rei shuddered at the memory of her close call with the demon. Pushing aside her fears for the moment she continued. ". . . and I've got a lot to tell you all."
"I've been doing some research as well. I think I can shed some light on what we saw yesterday. I'm afraid though that the information leads to more questions than it gives answers." Ami noted.
"That still doesn't tell me where Pluto and the others are," Rei snarled. "Just once I'd like Usagi to be on time, and I still don't know why the others are late."
"I don't know either. I mean Pluto shows up whenever she wants, but she did say she'd be here today." Ami answered. "It is a bit out of character for her to be late when she says she'll be here."
"Who say's I'm late?"
Rei jumped as a voice spoke from behind her.
"Dammit Pluto, DON'T do that," she yelped in surprise.
Still there was something in Setsuna's voice that didn't sound right. Rei started to turn, but before she could even begin her action she noticed the looks in the other Scout's eyes . . . and to judge from their expressions what they were feeling wasn't amusement at her predicament. No it looked more like shock to judge from their wide eyes and pale faces.
Cautiously Rei turned, then about went into cardiac arrest. If there was one constant in the universe, it was that Meiou Setsuna in either guise was always calm and collected. Even in the worst of circumstances the Senshi of Pluto never seemed to let anything bother her, nothing ever broke her icy demeanor. What Rei saw now took the "ice bitch" image and shattered it irrevocably. Setsuna's eyes were red and puffy not to mention she had what looked like tear tracks on both of her cheeks. That was bad enough, but what drew the senshi of Mar's attention was the anger radiating from her crimson eyes.
Rei swallowed, fortunately the anger did not appear to be directed at any of them. One thought was clear in her mind. She did NOT want to be whoever had pissed Pluto off so badly. What made matters worse was that the same expression was mirrored on the faces of Haruka and even Chibi-Usa. Before she could react, before she could utter a single word she was interrupted by a blond hurricane.
"Sorry I'm late guys." Usagi apologized as she ran into the room, pausing only long enough to kick off her shoes and replace them with house slippers. "Have I missed . . . "Usagi stopped the rapid flow of words as she took in the scene before her.
"Setsuna, Haruka, Chibi-Usa . . . are you guys alright?"
You could say a lot of derogatory things about Usagi. She didn't do well in school, her manners when eating were atrocious, she was often the very picture of a "ditzy blond". But there was one thing that outweighed all her other faults, Usagi cared. When a friend hurt so did she, and she would do anything and everything in her power to make the hurt go away.
"Yes Princess we are fine,"
"Speak for yourself Pluto," Haruka growled. "When I find out who hurt Michiru and Hotaru I'm gonna kill him. Not to mention the fact that I'm going to have a little talk with Michiru, and Hotaru when they get back." Turning toward Chibi-Usa she continued. "And don't think you are off the hook either little girl." The ice in Haruka's voice dropped the rooms temperature at least twenty degrees by the end of her statement.
"Why what's going on?" the words were slightly different from each of the speakers and the result of everyone trying to talk at once was a bunch of gibberish that hadn't been heard since the Tower of Babel.
"Michiru and Hotaru were hurt earlier today in a fight," Chibi-Usa answered. "Don't worry though they are going to be fine," the young princess answered with all the assurance she could muster.
"What happened? Why didn't they call for help?" Rei beat the others to the punch with her question.
"They weren't fighting monsters," Setsuna answered this time. "It was a martial arts duel."
"A WHAT?!!" once again the cry was near unanimous as the Inner Senshi digested the news, but so uniform was their surprise that this time the words were virtually identical, and as a result understandable.
"A martial arts duel," Setsuna repeated. "And before you ask, No I don't know why. No I can't tell you anything more, and No the topic is not up for further discussion until Michiru gets back."
"How did Hotaru get involved?" Usagi pressed.
"She was injured by accident," Chibi-Usa responded calmly, looking for all the world like a mirror image of Setsuna. "And like I said they are both going to be okay. They should be back tomorrow."
"Well if they are going to be okay and back home tomorrow they couldn't have been hurt to badly," Makoto mused.
Setsuna and Chibi-Usa's flinches went virtually unnoticed, and after a short pause the meeting continued.
"I think we need to sit down and discuss just what's been going on over the last few days." Usagi stated with more than a touch of authority, for once taking firm control over the gathered senshi. "I don't like the fact that there are so many secrets floating about, not to mention the new enemy we fought last night. I really think we need to share what we've learned and work out a proper response."
Dead silence greeted Usagi's statement. They all knew that the bubbly blond was eventually going to turn into their Queen, into a woman who would oversee the entire solar system and create a kingdom that whose rule was enlightened far beyond anything that existed presently. But, it was often too easy for them to forget this fact given Usagi's usual bubbly absentminded demeanor. Every once in a while though she showed them glimpses of what was to come, and today she had done so once again.
"Usagi's right." Ami offered timidly. "The next question is who goes first."
"I think Rei should go first. She said she had learned a great deal from her fire reading last night," Usagi directed.
All eyes turned to the fiery senshi waiting to hear her words with an anticipation that was mixed with dread.
Uncharacteristically Rei swallowed nervously. What she had learned was perplexing and more than a little frightening. Fighting the Dark Kingdom, the forces of the Negaverse was one thing . . . but actually fighting the forces of Hell, well that was something else entirely.
"Well, given what we saw Michiru do with the sword yesterday, and how strangely she was acting I concentrated on that first," Rei began. "I received . . . well, a Kami came in answer to my prayers."
"A Kami!" Makoto was the first to recover from the surprise this statement brought. "That's not normal is it?' she finished nervously.
"No it's not," Rei answered firmly, "but it was real. Now if you'll let me continue without interruptions I'll try to tell you all what I saw."
"Sorry Rei," Makoto apologized, "I'll try."
"Well, I saw Michiru going through some kata's, but what was strange was there was a handsome boy right behind her. Everything she did he mirrored, move for move. When they were done . . . "Rei paused looking nervously at Haruka. "He hugged her and then gave her a kiss."
"HE WHAT!" Haruka erupted, disbelief and worry coloring her tone.
The blond senshi found her fears from the night before being resurrected from the shallow grave that she had buried them in. Was Michiru attracted to boys? It didn't seem possible, but with all the secrets she had been keeping was she as sure of that fact as she once was?
"What KIND of kiss?" Haruka ground out, her voice somehow both icy cold and inferno hot at the same time.
"Uhmmm, he kissed her on the forehead, then he disappeared, It was almost like the kind of kiss a brother would give his sister," Rei answered hesitantly "It was strange, right after he kissed her he disappeared in a glowing blue cloud. The cloud surrounded Michiru then she . . . "
"She what?" again Haurka interrupted.
"I'll get to that if you'll give me a chance," Rei fired back with a touch of her normal ire."
Haruka grumbled, but didn't say anything understandable.
"The cloud soaked into her skin and disappeared. Michiru looked really sad when he disappeared."
The others tried to be unobtrusive as they looked at Haruka, the blond woman appeared to be in shock . . . and perhaps a bit worried to judge from the frown that marred her face.
"Then Michiru's clothes changed and she was wearing the garments of a samurai. It looked like she was in the middle of a sword kata. She wasn't fighting anyone and she was using a bokken instead of a real blade. Then the vision shifted again and the next thing I knew she was fighting or sparring with an old man dressed in a Shinto Priest's garb. He defeated her after a rather long fight. When it was done she bowed and smiled. It was kinda strange, it was like they were old friends or something.
The next thing I saw was Michiru standing in the dark, she transformed into Neptune, and this time she was wielding a katana and a wazikashi. The blades appeared to be plainly worked but of exquisite make, they were clearly the work of a master smith . . . and they both glowed blue."
"Who glowed blue?" Makoto interrupted with a slight blush. "Michiru, the swords or both?"
Rei paused consideringly. "Both I think, but the swords definitely were glowing. It was like she and the swords were "connected" in some way . . . almost like Neptune's Mirror is connected to her." Rei answered with a flash of inspiration. Then Michiru disappeared too."
"What did the boy look like?" Haruka ground out the question. "Do you think you would recognize him if you saw him again?"
"I think so." Rei answered confidently, "For once the vision was clear. Keep in mind though Haruka, I don't know if that was a vision of the past, the present or the future." Rei warned. "I couldn't get any sense of that from what I saw."
"What happened next was a bit odd as well. After Michiru disappeared I saw a building, a skyscraper that positively reeked of evil. It was like a dark cloud surrounded it. The building looked pretty new, but there wasn't anything unusual about it and I didn't see any signs telling me what building it was. I really don't know if I can identify it or not. What was strange was that the top floors were warded, but they weren't like anything Grandpa or I would make. These wards radiated evil, the almost pulsed with it. It was obvious that they were made by someone or something completely lost to all that is good."
"Evil?" Usagi questioned.
"Yes Evil, with a capital E. Pure absolute evil. Whoever created those wards has pretty much lost all shreds of humanity and decency. "Rei responded somberly, not a trace of humor anywhere to be found in her voice.
"I think . . . "the priestess paused for a heartbeat or two before continuing, "No, I KNOW, that they were written in human blood. Not only that," she paused, "it takes innocent blood from a human sacrifice to make wards like those."
Mars visibly shuddered as she uttered those last words. This time it took her nearly a minute before she could continue.
"As far as I could tell there were three different kinds of wards there. Some of them were designed to prevent detection by magical or spiritual means . . . others looked like barrier wards designed to keep people out, and the last kind were the spiritual equivalent of alarms. Anyone going through without somehow identifying themselves or nullifying the ward would alert those to whom the wards are attuned."
"In other words, "Rei looked each of the senshi in the eye as she continued. "They will know we are coming if we ever find and assault the place. I didn't dare risk setting them off and I didn't have time to look closer to see if I could get through at all, let alone get through without setting of the alarm. Before I could check them out any closer I was gone again. "
Rei's voice broke as she described the battles she had seen the Senshi fight with demons of various kinds. Worse than the fights themselves was the carnage that was inflicted upon the citizens of Tokyo, Juban in particular. She described their varied foes and told of seeing demons whose very aura could make a person sick nigh unto death . . . and whose evil surrounded them like a visible cloud of darkness. The Senshi of Mars went on to describe a Tokyo devastated by the conflict. She told of the desolation and misery she saw etched on the faces of the few remaining occupants of the city.
The mood was somber when she finished, brightened only a little by the words of comfort that the Kami had left her with. The goddess had made a promise to her, a promise that they could win, that they could prevent this future if they fought hard and didn't give up. Those words were comforting, but the bleak picture of what could happen weighed heavily on the spirits of the collected senshi.
"Setsuna, Have you seen any of this?" Usagi questioned once she was able to find her voice.
"No Princess. But I'm supposed to go and to talk to my future self right after the meeting. I may have more to tell after that . . . if I am allowed to," she finished with a hint of frustration in her voice. She had listened carefully to the story Rei told, and even she was shaken by what she heard.
"Okay, the goddess said we could win so we need to focus on that," Usagi spoke with authority. "Ami, tell us what you have learned."
"Computer display the holograms of Azami and Michiru." Ami began with a lecturing tone.
The senshi of Mercury sought for and found the strength to continue by concentrating on what she knew instead of thinking about what she feared was coming. Once again she found comfort in knowledge and facts to help her though something that would otherwise have sent her screaming to her room, never to reappear.
"The first thing I did as well was to look into the situation with Michiru. It didn't take long to determine that Azami is indeed Michiru. The sword styles they use are virtually identical," She began, pointing out the similarities. "Then I confirmed that by doing a check of their features." This time the holographic images moved together until they were one, it was still possible to see both images, but it was difficult as they merged together so seamlessly.
"Yeah," Haruka confirmed. "Michiru told me that she was Azami. She used that name because her parents wouldn't let her compete under her own name."
"But why didn't she ever tell us about her skill with the sword?" Makoto pressed.
"Michiru said that since she didn't have a sword that would do any damage to the things we fight, that she didn't think it was all that important," Haruka responded, "To be truthful though I think she may have had some other reasons as well . . . but that was all she told me last night." Haruka finished.
The tone of Haruka's voice told the other senshi that now was not the time to press this particular issue further, and told them as well that Michiru was going to be in for a hot time the next time she spoke with Haruka.
"Okay," Ami murmured breaking the silence. "I also ran the data I'd collected on those things we fought last night. I've got good news and bad news there. Unfortunately what I learned only seems to agree with what Rei has already told us. Those things are not from the Dark Kingdom. The Mercury Computer didn't detect any energy that matched any known Negaverse pattern. The computer did find a match though. It said the demons were using something called pishogue"
Mercury paused again, the information she was going to impart would definitely confirm what Rei had already said.
"Apparently in the Silver Millennium we used to run into demons on a regular basis. At least regularly enough that the battle-mages had quite a bit of information about them. They classified this energy as being infernal in nature and only three groups of beings can use this energy. The first group is demons themselves. The second are those possessed by demons and the third are those who willingly sell their souls for the power to use it." Ami ticked off these points on her fingers as she spoke.
"According to the files I found helping anyone in either the first and third group is pretty much a lost cause. Demons are by their very nature evil. I could only find two instances where a demon "found the light" and turned away from their evil. In both cases the demons became warriors for the light and were turned into minor Kami by Kami-sama Himself." Seeing the incredulous looks on the faces of her companions Ami shrugged then continued.
"Hey, I'm only telling you what I found. The records also warned that there have been several cases where demons pretended to "repent" for the lack of a better term." Once again Ami paused an even more serious look than normal plastered on her face.
"In every case but the two I just mentioned it was a ruse. They eventually betrayed those that gave them a chance. The third group can also "repent" but they don't do it often. In those cases they generally die, but at least their souls aren't lost to Hell."
"What about the second group, you know the one's who are possessed?" Minako asked hesitantly.
"In that case the outcome depends on a couple of things," Ami continued. "Those who were unwillingly possessed people can be saved, "Ami stressed. "IF the demon is cast out the person usually recovers. If the person was willingly possessed the demon can be cast out by an exorcism, but in those cases both the host and the demon fight the exorcism tooth and nail. In those cases the exorcism is not always successful, when if fails you usually have to kill the host and then deal with the demon," she finished somberly.
"Wow!" came the united chorus from the rest of the senshi as Ami paused for breath.
"Yeah, wow." Ami agreed. "Unfortunately it appears that when the Senshi faced true demons they normally asked for help from either priests or battle-mages. It appears that while we can destroy demons they are tough opponents. During the Silver Millennium only Serenity and Mars could exorcise the demons from those possessed. Serenity used the Crystal, while Mars could use her skills as a priestess. The rest of us basically have to destroy them as we find them."
The mood of the group darkened as they considered Mercury's words. If Mercury was right, (and she usually was) if and when they ran into someone who was possessed it was more likely than not that they'd have to kill one innocent to save others . . . not something they wanted to do. Still they had faced horrendous odds before and had to make (and live with) tough decisions in the past. Ami watched with pride as she could see their resolve firming up. Each senshi knew that if they did nothing then the future Rei had seen would come to pass . . . and that they would not, could not allow.
"It gets worse guys," Mercury continued. "It seems that demons come in a lot of different varieties, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Other than just beating the stuffing out of them we're going to have to be ready to adapt to each new enemy as we see them," Ami brightened just a bit as she continued. "The Good news is that with experience we will learn how to tell them apart AND that each type has it's own weakness. Some are vulnerable to fire, others electricity, well you get the picture. Using the Mercury computer I'll be able to let you know pretty quickly which attacks will be the most effective now that I know where to look."
Ami looked around at her rather somber audience. "The bad news is that the things we ran into last night were only Type 3 demons. They weren't the strongest we are likely to face but at least they weren't the weakest either. There are demons like imps that we should be able to handle easily, but they are also sneakier and less likely to be found in a combat situation. According to the computer we can handle most of the 'Number Class' demons, and probably all the 'Name Class' demons as well. We'll just have to work as a team. If we run into the higher 'Limited Class' or 'Unlimited Class' demons however we are going to be in real trouble."
"Uhm Mercury, what do you mean, Number, Name, Limited and Unlimited Class?" Haruka questioned a look of anticipation mixed with worry clear on her face.
The senshi of Uranus was clearly looking forward to a good fight, but had enough sense to worry about the strength of her foes.
"Basically, 'Number Class' are lesser demons. There were classified by number Type I through Type 10. The lower the type the weaker the demon. 'Name Class' demons are rarer and they act as mid-level leaders, kinda like lower ranking officers in the JDSF. They are as I said less common, but quite a bit tougher. 'Limited Class" are like mid rank officers, you know the ones just under generals. 'Unlimited Class are the leaders, like a general or something equivalent. They can take on lesser Kami with a chance of success. If we run into them we basically need to pray for help . . . and hope the Kami are listening."
That bit of news put a real damper on things and a feeling of depression fell over the assembled group once again.
"From what information I could glean I doubt that we'll run into anything higher than a 'Name Class' demon. The mages best guess was that there are some kind of rules of engagement between Heaven and Hell which prevent direct intervention by the 'higher' powers. There were no known instances of anyone being able to summon anything higher than a 'Name Class' demon. The problem is that if the summoning isn't done right they can break free and then all Hell breaks loose . . . quite literally in fact," Ami finished.
Silence ruled for several minutes as the Senshi digested Ami's report.
"The goddess said we could win," Rei reminded the group, faith blazing clearly in her eyes. "That means that there is a way. Neither the Kami nor Heaven will abandon us to evil. We can win."
Then slowly, gradually, the senshi shook off their fear and began making plans.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"How was your day Kasumi? Did you enjoy your trip?" Nabiki asked, never looking up from the business section of the paper.
"It was okay," Kasumi managed to answer the question, but the catch in her voice grabbed her younger sister's attention.
"What happened sis? You don't sound like everything was okay. Happosai didn't bother you did he?"
Nabiki fixed her attention on her older sister and contemplated her revenge if the old pervert had done anything to upset Kasumi. Nabiki didn't really think that he had. Kasumi was just about the only woman other than Aunty Nodoka that the letch never bothered.
Kasumi looked terrible. To Nabiki's experienced eyes it sure looked like she'd been crying.
"No Happosai didn't do anything to me. A friend of ours was hurt in a fight."
"Was it Ranma?" Nabiki questioned eagerly, the icy mask she normally showed the world slipping and revealing instead a girl who had lost something she didn't think she valued at all, only to discover it was more important to her than she had ever realized.
She hadn't realized until he was gone just how much he meant to her. It had been a shock to discover he was a friend . . . and could have been more had she not been so blind. She hadn't realized just how much time he actually spent talking to her, getting to know the her that she hid behind her cold exterior. To say she had been surprised at by that realization was to severely understate the facts.
After he was gone Nabiki realized that the time he spent with her each day was one of the highlights in her life. After the wedding fiasco, and after he had forgiven her she had taken a hard look at herself.
It was then that she realized Ranma had taken the time to try to understand her, the real her. Once she spent time with him that wasn't taken up by one of her "schemes" or "scams" she had soon realized Ranma was no idiot. Underneath his "jock" image he was actually quite intelligent. Ignorant, Hell yes, he was about as ignorant as it was possible for a human being to be on some topics. But to be honest that was only to be expected given his upbringing. Nabiki had cursed her own blindness, once she got to know him better, even she had had failed to see beyond the image that he had projected.
He wasn't an idiot like she had pegged him. It hadn't taken her long, (once she bothered to look) to see that. Hell, he had to be smart. The boy had spent very little time in school, but somehow managed to pass all of his classes, and that while spending a good chunk of each school day either asleep or in the hall.
It was only after he disappeared that she realized just how many times he'd done something to lift her spirits when she was down, usually without her even knowing that was his goal. She had learned that he had a dry wit that nearly matched her own.
It wasn't until he was gone that she had found out he knew all along about her activities and that he let, . . . he actually let her get away with many of the schemes she had perpetrated. Sure at first he didn't have a clue, but after he'd been around a while he'd seen what she was doing, and did nothing to stop her. When Kasumi had revealed that little fact it had opened her eyes to a Ranma that she'd never let herself see. It wasn't until it was to late that she realized that he had tried to be . . . and was one of her few real friends.
Nabiki knew that those who were her true friends were on a very short list. One or two of her associates, Kaiou Michiru, and a handful of others who had managed to see past her front and valued her for who she was.
Nabiki was curious. Most of her friends went to Furinkan with her, the only two she could think of that didn't were Ranma and Michiru. Ranma she hadn't seen in over three months . . . and the idea that Michiru was involved in a martial arts duel was ludicrous.
Still friends were important to her and she wanted to know who it was that was hurt. Nabiki also knew that if Ranma was going to let anyone know where he was, Kasumi was probably that person. He'd always had a soft spot in his heart for her. Nabiki grinned as she recalled the first time Ranma had called Kasumi "big sister", the look on Kasumi's face when she realized just how much he cared for her had been priceless.
It had to be him. Even though Michiru hadn't been around much the last couple of years she had seen her over in Juban during an occasional visit. Not only that they still kept in close contact via the internet and telephone. She'd just talked to Michiru not two days before and Michiru had said nothing about a duel. If she hadn't known Michiru studied Kempo at some point, Nabiki would never have even guessed that the girl knew anything about martial arts. Michiru's most common topic (other than her "family") was her music. Heck Michiru often made sure that Nabiki had tickets to her concerts. One of Nabiki's few pleasures was to dress up and go listen to her friend perform. Michiru's only condition on the tickets was that they were never to be sold, only used by her and Kasumi or given away. It was a condition that Nabiki had never broken, not even when money was the tightest.
Michiru was also amazingly good at listening and giving advice when needed. She never failed to listen when Nabiki was feeling down, never turned her away when she needed to vent about her problems. No Michiru would listen, carefully, think about whatever the problem was and give (generally) well considered advice. The only area that Michiru consistently failed to give advice on was boys . . . and given her preferences Nabiki guessed she could understand that. One of the few times that Michiru had shocked her was when Nabiki had admitted a growing attraction to Ranma. In that one particular case Michiru had made it clear that she didn't think that a relationship with him would work out. The strange thing about that conversation was the undertone of sadness in Michiru's voice when she found out that Nabiki was interested in Ranma. At first Nabiki thought Michiru might be jealous, but after some consideration she dismissed that thought. Nabiki knew that Michiru had a steady girlfriend, one that she seemed intensely loyal too, and that despite occasional bouts of anger at Haruka's wandering eyes.
A genuine smile crossed Nabiki's face as she considered the times that she and Kasumi had comforted Michiru after one of Haruka's faux pas. Michiru seemed to take great comfort from her friendship with the Tendo girls. Given that, it had struck a rather jarring note to hear Michiru dismiss Ranma so quickly. Still after considering all that was going on in Ranma's life Nabiki had reluctantly agreed with Michiru . . . though even now sometime dreamed about what could have been had that first day gone differently. Could she and Ranma have been more than the friends they had become?
"So give it up Kasumi, have you been in contact with Ranma?" Nabiki asked with a knowing smirk. She was stunned at Kasumi's reply.
"It was Michiru," Kasumi sobbed. "I lied to all of you yesterday."
"WHO? You what?!!!" Nabiki nearly yelled.
Thinking of Kasumi lying was nearly as hard as thinking that Mother Theresa was scamming money out of her charity work.
Looking around to see if anyone else was present Nabiki motioned Kasumi to continue.
The eldest Tendo sniffled, her mind still on Michiru and her injuries. She wouldn't even talk to Nabiki about this but part of Michiru's 'Master Plan' was to reveal some of the information about her martial skills to Nabiki. They were bound to come out anyway, especially if they did go to university with Michiru as Michiru hoped. Kasumi knew that Michiru still hadn't decided if she was going to tell Nabiki she was Ranma, but some things at least Michiru had admitted she'd have to tell the "mercenary of Nerima".
Despite the gravity of the situation and the injuries that Michiru had sustained earlier Kasumi had to fight off a giggle. The very thought of "Ranma" having a "Master Plan" like this would have been laughable, had she not come to learn more about the martial artist after his "escape" from Nerima her life as Michiru. The crafty Michiru yes that she could believe, the clueless Ranma . . . never.
Michiru knew that eventually Saotome Genma and Tendo Soun would find out from Happosai (or someone else) about her status as a Master of Anything Goes. Knowing that pair Michiru fully expected them to go ballistic when they found out about there was another Master of what they considered to be their Art. Never mind that they already knew Happosai had trained two other girls in Anything Goes, Happosai's other students weren't masters yet AND they were girls. So to Genma and Soun they didn't count. They would also ignore the fact that Happosai had the right to train whoever he willed. Quite frankly Michiru didn't want to have to put up with their antics any more . . . or even see them again other than in the most limited ways, hence her plan to use Nabiki to "limit" the damage.
Though her thoughts were a bit muddled due to the emotional day she had been through, Kasumi knew she had to stick to the script/story they had agreed upon.
"Michiru has been studying Anything Goes under Grandfather Happosai . . . "
"She WHAT?!!" Nabiki interrupted, her vaunted mask completely shattered by the unexpected news.
"She's been studying under Grandfather and yesterday she challenged him for the right to practice the Art as a Master."
"You have got to be kidding me." Nabiki couldn't have shown any more surprise or amazement if she had tried. "You know Akane's going to explode when she finds out."
Kasumi only nodded. She loved her youngest sister, but this definitely wasn't going to help Akane's situation right now. Her little sister was going through some tough times. Akane still didn't know what to think about Ranma's disappearance. Akane cycled through anger, loss, hurt and sadness on a daily basis. Both Kasumi and Nabiki knew that Akane loved the pig-tailed boy, and they knew that Ranma loved Akane. The problem was that neither could make themselves admit it. True most of the blame for that could be laid squarely at the feet of Genma and their father, but the bottom line was that things hadn't been working out. Akane was possessive and quick to blame Ranma, while he had been quick to attack her verbally when she insulted him. It all came down to trust, and while Akane loved Ranma . . . she didn't trust him when he was around other girls. Indeed that very thing had led to Ranma's disappearance.
Shaking her head, Nabiki pulled her thoughts from Akane and Ranma to the new problem at hand. She had known that Michiru studied some martial arts, but never suspected anything like this. She just never seemed the type. Hell she never even mentioned her interest in Anything Goes or Happosai. She spoke not a word about either, even when Nabiki had complained about the old letch and the problems he caused the Tendos. Nabiki's mind raced as she struggled to figure out just why that omission had occurred. Bottom line, she didn't know, but if there was one thing Nabiki both loved and hated it was a secret she didn't know. Much like Ranma she loved a challenge and like Ranma, and she also hated to lose.
"How badly did Michiru lose?" Nabiki questioned hesitantly.
"She didn't," Kasumi replied, "but she was hurt rather badly."
"SHE WON?!!" Nabiki exclaimed, once again caught off guard. "How? Is she going to be okay?"
"She should be fine, and yes she did win. Grandfather will have to give her Masters status now."
"WOW," Nabiki still found it hard to believe that the quiet and gentle Michiru was capable of taking on and defeating the Grandmaster Anything Goes. Heck even Ranma had never really defeated Happosai, only driven him away for short periods of time.
"Yes I know. Grandfather was quite shocked, or at least he will be when he wakes up," this time Kasumi couldn't quite stifle the giggles that were welling up from somewhere deep inside her.
"So why did she suddenly decide to tell me now?"
"She said that she was probably going to need your help in dealing with Father and Uncle Genma."
Nabiki nodded. "What does she want me to do?"
"Nothing yet. She just wanted you to know in case she needed help convincing them that she had the right to practice Anything Goes. We've both been invited to her house for a visit in a couple of weeks."
With a rather wicked (at least for her) grin Kasumi continued. "And Michiru said she has a surprise for you."
Nabiki grinned, it had been a while since they'd spent time together, and if there was one thing she was sure of, it was always fun to hang around with Michiru and Kasumi. Still it was kinda strange. The three of them went out together fairly often. I was unusual for more than a couple of weeks to pass between meetings, but until now they had never been to Michiru's home and she had never visited theirs . . . and now that she thought about it, Michiru had never introduced them to her family either. She talked about them all the time, but somehow their paths had never crossed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Washu was typing on her holographic keyboard, reviewing the data that continued to pour in concerning her "patients" in the laboratory. The data was incredible. It seemed that there was even more to her guests than met the eye. Michiru was surrounded by not just one but three separate fields of magic, the young girl with the purple eyes had one as well, bandana boy had two of his own. The only one lacking a magic field surrounding him was the one Michiru had called Happosai, but even he had some really interesting readings. Before she could pursue the data any further Washu's eyes widened as she saw one of the fields she was monitoring spike, the readings were nearly off the scale and a few moments later a small explosion registered in her lab.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Hotaru opened her eyes, quickly noticing that everything had a strange greenish hue to it. She was still groggy and a bit out of it. The last thing she remembered was some boy attacking her mama. She had tried to stop him, but he kept attacking anyway seemingly ignoring her cries to stop. The last thing she remembered was getting hit . . . and a whole lot of pain.
Hotaru looked around only to find that she was imprisoned in some kind of tube. She could feel her body being suspended and caressed by a warm green liquid that she was apparently immersed in. Crossing her eyes slightly she saw that an oxygen mask covered her nose and mouth allowing her to breath. It took a few moments for it to register that she was naked and floating inside the tube. Gathering her wits about her the purple eyed girl looked at her surroundings outside the tube. She was evidently in a laboratory of some kind. There were other glass enclosures just like hers close by. She could see Michiru-mama floating in the one closest to her, apparently still unconscious. Further down she could see two other tubes which also appeared to be occupied. At least that was her guess since the displays at the top of each container were flashing, in what appeared to be (but probably weren't) random patterns, just like the ones above her mama's tube.
Looking around her glass cell, Hotaru tried to find a way out. Unfortunately the search was fruitless. The insides of the tube were smooth and unbroken. The lid was metal of some kind but with nothing resembling a latch or handle anywhere in sight. She had no way out!
Hotaru could feel the waves of panic start to overwhelm her. She didn't know where she was, her mama was imprisoned close by and she knew Michiru had been badly hurt in her fight with her old sensei . . . and wherever she was it DEFINITELY was not in a hospital room. This looked more like something out of Star Wars . . . or the Dark Kingdom. Hotaru didn't know what was going on, but she did know she wanted OUT and out NOW. The lab reminded her to much of her father's old lab and she remembered only to well what went on in that place.
Reaching into subspace Hotaru grabbed her henshin rod forth and whispered her transformation phrase. There wasn't enough room to swing her weapon, and she didn't think it would be a good idea to sue a Silence Glaive Surprise since she was still inside the tube. Instead she thrust the weapon up and used it like an old fashioned can opener, peeling the top open. The lid dropped to the floor in a shower of multi-colored sparks. Seconds later she was free, standing in the smoking ruins of her former prison, green liquid pooling about her feet, along with shards of crystal from the tube itself. Hotaru had a plan, she was going to get her mama and get out of here before her captors came back.
Moving to her mama's prison, Saturn made three precise cuts, the Glaive slicing though the hi-tech material as if it wasn't even there, liquid pouring from each of the cuts. Less than a minute later she held her still unconscious mama in her arms. Naked and as slippery as an eel from the green liquid it was all Hotaru could do to keep from dropping her. With strength that she didn't possess untransformed Saturn pulled Michiru from the tube and laid her gently down.
Surprisingly enough a quick check showed that Michiru's bones were mostly healed, though her life force was still dangerously weak. That confused her. How long had they been here? Were they prisoners or were they being helped? Now a bit unsure of her actions, Hotaru tried to think. It didn't take long for her to come to one inescapable conclusion . . . she simply didn't have enough information to make a good decision. Hotaru could only hope that her mama did. Maybe Michiru-mama knew what was going on. Still her mama couldn't tell her anything until she was awake. Keeping the Silence Glaive close to hand she reached out and touched Michiru gently, her touch as soft as a butterfly's kiss, and let her healing power flow. It took longer than expected, nearly three agonizing minutes passed before she felt and heard Michiru stir. First her mama's eyes fluttered then opened, confusion clearly evident in her sapphire eyes.
"Hotaru?" Michiru asked looking into the worried purple eyes of her daughter. "Where are we?"
"I don't know mama. The last thing I remember is some guy hitting me when I tried to stop him from attacking you."
Hotaru flinched at the cold expression that darkened her mama's expressive blue eyes.
"I remember that, Ryouga is so dead when I get my hands on him." Michiru's gaze locked onto Hotaru. "Now where are we and how did you get to the meadow?
Before any further words could be exchanged they were interrupted by a soft chuckle and a gentle voice.
A/N – I don't normally do A/N here but didn't want to influence anyone by putting this at the top. Yes I know there is an info-dump in this story. If you didn't notice or liked getting the info great. If you did and it bothered you sorry. However, I did have a reason for it.
The Senshi (despite how some fics portray them) aren't completely clueless when it comes to fighting. True they aren't martial artists, but they are fighters. Not to mention Ami and Setsuna have minds second to none. Therefore I felt it made a lot of sense for them to discuss in detail what was going on and I (personally) think it will help the over-all story-line.
Anyway hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Work on Ch. 11 will be starting very soon.
11. Ch 11 Dealing with Old Friends
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
A/N – 1. Sorry for the delay. As I've said before my goal is to post a chapter every 2-3 weeks. I'll be quicker when I can, but these last few chapters have been kinda long (32 pages and a sentence in Word) so it takes a while. As to Chapter 11 parts of it have been written and re-written 3-4 times as it wasn't coming out quite like I wanted – let me know what you think as to how it turned out. A/N --2. Chapter 12 is started – and depending on workload should be done on schedule – hopefully sooner, but please bear with me. A/N – 3 If anyone is interested there is an old story posted on FictionPress that is an original story (I guess that's a bit redundant as that is what ficpress is) if anyone wants to take a look you can search using the ranger5 penname --- if there is enough response there are several more chapters done that I could upload. If original fiction isn't your thing don't worry about it
Forever the Tomboy Ch. 11 ---
Dealing with Old "Friends"
Hotaru's mind was filled to overflowing with questions as she looked down into her mama's icy blue eyes. The warmth, the soft glow of love that she was used to seeing in them gone, and left behind implacable purpose. The young senshi had never heard her mama sound so . . . well . . . dangerous before. The very air seemed to freeze around Michiru as she spoke the boy's name and if she didn't know better she could almost believe the temperature in the room had dropped twenty degrees or more. Hotaru shivered as she heard the promise of pain in her mama's words. Hotaru knew that this Ryouga was going to be in for a world of pain when Michiru got her hands on him.
What was even more confusing was that her mama clearly knew the boy, and just as clearly had some kind of relationship or connection to him . . . and apparently it hadn't been a good connection, nor had it ended well to judge by Ryouga's impassioned cries for revenge. Was he the reason her mama liked girls? Yet even that didn't make sense, at least not totally. It didn't explain why she had never heard of him before, her mama grew up in Juban and she didn't think he was from her home ward. Nor had she ever heard her mama mention his name. Though she had to admit if he was a former boyfriend her mama might not have been willing to talk about him. Even that didn't take into account the other questions the boy's actions raised. He too had called her mama Ranma. Why would he do that, and even more puzzling why would Michiru respond to that name. She hadn't even blinked when Ryouga came roaring out of no-where with his insane challenge. It was possible that Michiru was still in shock from her fight with Happosai, but Hotaru didn't think that was it . . . or at least not all of it. Michiru had looked . . . resigned . . . as if the boy's presence though unexpected, wasn't unusual.
But how, if some boy had been bothering Michiru-mama, Haruka-papa would have been more than happy to "take care of it". Taking a deep breath Hotaru considered what little she did know. The boy seemed familiar somehow, but where had she seen him. The action in the meadow had occurred so quickly that she hadn't had time to listen to the little nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her that she knew the boy.
Now that she had a few moments to think about it she had seen the boy before. He had been prominently featured in the pictures and stories that Kasumi had told her yesterday. Kasumi had mentioned him by name and described him as a rival/friend of Saotome Ranma. But if he was a friend, why the attack from no-where, and why the hatred in his voice. Kasumi had gone on in great detail about the fights the "lost boy" had with Ranma, but she had never said exactly what caused the fights. Kasumi had even confided that due to Ryouga's curse no one knew where he was right now. Shaking her head in frustration Hotaru continued to think, her body on autopilot as she healed her mama and restored her energy.
What little she knew about the boy didn't help much. In fact it still didn't explain anything about why Ryouga was mad at her mama, nor why he had called Michiru by the name Ranma. Hotaru was a bit worried about the fact that he had said that he was mad because of the way "Ranma" had treated Tendo Akane. That was another name she recognized. Tendo Akane was Kasumi-san's younger sister, the one her mama had said wasn't a true martial artist. That statement made it clear that Michiru knew Akane, (which made sense as Michiru was friends with Kasumi), but what exactly was the connection? Was Ryouga Akane's boyfriend instead? Maybe her mama had been after Akane and done something that broke up Ryouga and Akane. That would make more sense than to think her mama had ever had a boyfriend. Still, that didn't seem right either. The way Kasumi had talked about "Ranma" he had lived at the Tendo dojo for a couple of years, and he was the fiancé of Akane and several other girls. Hotaru silently cursed her lack of knowledge. Nothing made sense. What did Ranma's relationships have to do with her mama? It just didn't make sense, none of it did and her ignorance was beginning to frustrate her to no end.
To make matters even more confusing, the old man had used the name Ranma when he was talking with Michiru, (that is when he wasn't calling her "boy"). What the heck was up with that? Michiru (wearing those strange Chinese clothes that were two sizes or more to big) was clearly a girl. Hotaru blushed as she considered her mama's "assets", no one with eyes in their heads could confuse her mama with a boy, not like Haruka-papa anyway. Yet Michiru had answered to both names . . . and she hadn't even acted surprised or upset to be called Ranma.
Her mama couldn't be Ranma. The only Ranma she knew of was the Saotome Ranma that Kasumi had told her about yesterday, and he was obviously a boy. Not only that but he was taller, had black hair and (from Kasumi's stories) didn't act anything like Michiru. Kasumi, nice girl that she was, had used the word immature to describe him, though she said that was mostly his father's fault. To be fair Kasumi had also described him as brave, honest, honorable and someone who tried his best to put others before himself. Hotaru had been left with the impression that this Ranma was a diamond in the rough, but her mama was nothing like that. Her mama could be the poster-girl of elegance and refinement, Hotaru hoped that someday she could be like her mama.
What made matters even more confusing, Michiru did look exactly like Tendo Ranko, the girl that Michiru had refused to let Kasumi tell her about. That didn't make sense either. The two looked so much alike with Michiru's newly colored red hair that they could pass as the same person if they dressed alike.
From what Kasumi had managed to tell her before Michiru cut her off, Ranko had been living with the Tendos for almost two years, well that and that Ranko was the world's biggest tomboy . . . so she couldn't be her mama either. Hotaru's first thought (when she saw Michiru leaving the Saotome house earlier today) was that Ranko was Michiru's sister, maybe even her twin. After all Michiru was an orphan so maybe she had a sister and the orphanage had separated them. That made more sense, but even if that were true it didn't explain everything. If that were the case why hadn't Michiru ever mentioned a sister? . . . and why had she dressed in those weird Chinese style clothes to come up here? There was one thing Hotaru knew, she was going to do her best to find out just what the HELL was going on.
Hotaru had suffered a large number of shocks over the last couple of days, and at the rate things were going it didn't appear that this was going to change in the near future.
To say she was confused was to severely understate her current situation Heck she'd be glad if she were only "confused" instead of being totally lost. These thoughts flickered through her mind in a heartbeat. Yet before she could ask her mama anything, she heard a soft laugh interrupting her thoughts and stopping any further conversation.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma looked up into her daughters deep purple eyes. What was Hotaru doing here? Dammit, no one was supposed to know she was here. Ranma loved her daughter, but right now she wished Hotaru were anywhere but here. Looking around she amended that thought to add another question. Just where the heck was here anyway?
The last thing she remembered was Ryouga hitting Hotaru when her daughter tried to stop him from attacking her after her fight with Happosai. Well that and the groundswell of total and utter rage quickly followed by waves of depression as she saw Hotaru knocked several yards away by Ryouga's umbrella. Ranma knew only to well what one of Ryouga's "umbrella attacks" felt like, and she knew that Hotaru was no match for that attack, (at least when she wasn't transformed). She had feared the worst, a punch from Ryouga was more than capable of killing a normal person. Somehow the bastard must've managed to pull the blow. Hotaru hadn't been killed as she had first feared, after all the senshi of Saturn knelt by her side, her hands glowing as she used her healing gift. Ranma could literally feel herself heal under her daughter's hands.
Ranma wasn't entirely sure what had happened next, but she thought she had unleashed a Perfect Shishi Hokoudan on Ryouga. The Lost Boy had been transfixed by his error in hitting an innocent girl instead of his target, so he hadn't even tried to evade, nor even twitched a muscle before the ki attack blasted the two of them into unconsciousness.
Ranma's thoughts were still muddled and confused as she looked up into her daughter's face, but not so muddled that she didn't see the high-tech nightmare that they were in. The area looked like something out of a mad scientists wet dream. Most of the stuff she saw she couldn't even begin to put a name to, and even the few things that looked identifiable might or might not actually be what appeared to be.
Trying desperately to pull herself together, Ranma retuned her (still rather unfocused) gaze to her daughter, her mind turning back to its original line of questioning. What was Hotaru doing here anyway . . . and how had she known to come to the Masaki Shrine today?
Her emotions were a jumbled mess. Combined with the confusion she was feeling at Hotaru's presence was a growing fear as she wondered just how much Hotaru had seen and heard. If her daughter had been here from the beginning there was going to be Hell to pay . . .and it was more than likely that she would be the one paying. How was she going to be able to explain today's events? Even worse, how was she going to be able to explain what had led up to them?
Ranma knew one thing, her new life was at risk. What would her friends think about her if the truth came out? Would they join the throngs who considered her nothing more than a "freak" and "pervert"? Ranma desperately hoped they wouldn't . . . but her prior experiences with her curse made a happy ending unlikely if . . . no when the truth came out.
No matter how much she tried to deny it the opinions of the other senshi meant a lot to her. They were her friends and her only real companions . . . they were more her family than her adoptive parents were that much was certain. What Haruka, Hotaru and Setsuna thought (and how they reacted when they found out the truth) would be of critical importance, but Ranma also knew that if the "Inners" or her Princess rejected her that it would hurt . . . and hurt a lot.
Before she could begin her interrogation of Hotaru, indeed before she was even able to rise Ranma's thoughts were interrupted by a soft laugh and teasing words.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Washu smiled at the scene in front of her, somehow managing to ignore the damage that had been done to the medical section of her lab. Two of her patients were out, and apparently attempting to escape. She had to smile at their determination, of course they didn't know that it was virtually impossible to get out of the pocket dimension her lab was in . . . unless she let them. A frown crossed the scientist's face as she considered the bane of her existence. There was one person who was able to get in and out of her lab, seemingly without problems. The impossible happened all the time around a certain blond Galaxy Policewoman. How Mihoshi got in and out of her lab without triggering any alarms or tripping her automatic security protocols was a mystery that Washu wasn't sure she'd ever solve. Her self- satisfied smile flickered as she considered her blond nemesis. One day, she vowed she'd figure it out . . . then the blond walking disaster would never get back in.
Washu returned her gaze to the women in front of her. She assumed that both were her patients, as the four humans were the only ones other than herself that were in the lab and two of the four healing tubes were shattered and empty.
The woman lying on the floor was clearly Michiru, though surprisingly enough the girl appeared to be awake. The red haired genius hypothesized that the other girl, the one in the rather revealing sailor fuku and cradling a rather impressive pole-arm, was the girl who had darted out of the woods and attempted to protect Michiru. (Of course that hypothesis was made simpler by the fact that her two remaining patients were both male . . . and both lacked the rather strange magical field that surrounded Michiru. The boy Ryouga did possess an aura of magic, but it was quite different than the one around Michiru. True in some ways it was similar to the weaker field surrounding Michiru, but it had no relationship to the much stronger field that enveloped the other redhead.
Still, the thought was a hypothesis and not a fact . . . yet as something was interfering with her ability to actually recognize the girl. Even her sensors were experiencing difficulties and were giving conflicting readings. It seemed that the smaller girl was generating some kind of magical disguise or distortion field. It wasn't a separate field, as it appeared to be a minor side effect of the magic that she had used to transform into her current state.
However, given the fact that her lab was safely moored in a sub-space pocket all its own it was indeed highly unlikely that the girl was anyone other than Michiru's daughter. Well that and (as she had noted earlier) two of the healing tubes were empty. They obviously hadn't been empty for long Washu could still hear the dripping sound of the green healing gel as it fell onto the floor of her lab.
Washu's fingers danced along the keyboard as she analyzed the healing technique or procedure that the fuku clad girl was using. Before she could finish her analysis another screen popped up in the holographic display. The image displayed was the girl with the glaive and a menu of options. What was even more interesting to the child-like genius was that the picture came with a name . . . Sailor Saturn.
Washu made it a practice to monitor all of the Earth's electronic broadcasts and she had seen stories of the senshi on the local television channels on many occasions. In fact Washu liked to monitor the girls activities and was a closet fan of theirs. Despite her cynical nature the idea of "magical girls" fighting monsters in the name of "truth and love" was something she found both endearing and entertaining.
The diminutive genius's eyes flashed in triumph as several facts slid into place. If this girl was Sailor Saturn, then the energy spike her sensors had recorded a short while before the duel was probably the result of a teleport spell. It seemed that one or more senshi had (for some reason or other) come in to watch the duel. That meant that the senshi must have some connection with Michiru. If that were true then perhaps . . . .
Once again the genius's fingers flew across the keys of her computer at speeds that would rival the Amiguriken technique that Michiru had used during her match. Washu's smile widened as she considered the implications that the senshi's presence had on the present situation. That one or more of them had been there to observe the fight AND that they had done so surreptitiously told Washu that they hadn't come at Michiru's invitation. Which meant that Michiru didn't want them here for some reason. Washu's grin widened even more, threatening to split her face if it grew any more. Washu loved a mystery. In her long life she had seen much, done even more and as a result boredom was something she had to fight on a regular basis. Mysteries challenged her, kept her from losing interest in life, and she had several wrapped up in one rather attractive form (in Michiru) and then dropped right into her lap. One thing was certain, today was a banner day for the red haired scientist.
Washu's nose wrinkled as she grinned ever so cutely. The expression was so far beyond cute that it could literally rot a person's teeth just by seeing it. It looked like today was going to be even more interesting than she originally thought . . . and if the girl really was Saturn, it was likely that the Michiru was a senshi as well. Yes, today was turning out to be enjoyable indeed.
Quickly correlating the new data it didn't take her long to discover that yes, one of the magical fields surrounding Michiru was clearly "planetary/elemental" magic. A few more moments passed as she tried, and finally succeeded in pinning that one down as well. If her calculations were correct, (and they always were) then Michiru was indeed a senshi – probably Sailor Neptune given the affinity for water that she detected in two of the magical fields.
Washu found she couldn't hold back her laughter any more and softly chucked, not her usual "I'm a genius" laugh, but a true expression of mirth. Things were looking up, if she played her cards right she might gain two new guinea pigs to play with. Given the power levels that both displayed she would do her best to make sure they were willing before she did anything to extreme. They might not wield the Lighthawk Wings, but the power levels that Saturn was giving off made her a force to be reckoned with. If her readings were any indication the girl could literally destroy the earth. While Washu and her lab might be able to survive that event, the rest of the Masaki's couldn't . . . at least not without enough warning being given for Tenchi to employ the Wings of the Light Hawk.
Michiru might not have the same absolute power level as Saturn, but she had demonstrated abilities today that (even untransformed) would make her a formidable foe if antagonized. Yes it would be best if she obtained their willing cooperation.
"I see you two are awake," she began, "But don't you think destroying part of my medical lab was a bit extreme?"
Washu's emerald eyes widened at the result of her simple speech. Despite knowing just how fast Michiru could move she was still surprised by how quickly both reacted to her unexpected announcement.
Saturn snatched her glaive up from its resting place next to her and fell into an offensive stance, the weapon held blade up and at the ready. The look in her purple eyes was one of defiant resolve. She was clearly ready to do whatever it took to protect Michiru. Michiru moved nearly as quickly literally flowing up from her recumbent position to joining her daughter in a ready position. Even though she was unarmed Washu did not make the mistake of thinking her as being any less than extremely dangerous.
"Of course it's not like she really needs a weapon," Washu mused, "She is a weapon all by herself."
"Whoa there, calm down. No-one is going to hurt either one of you," Washu spoke gently, trying to project a feeling of calm, much as she would to ease the fears of a wild animal she was trying to soothe.
Neither girl moved from their positions for several long seconds as they searched the darkness surrounding them, then Michiru relaxed.
Motioning to her companion she spoke in soft, guarded tones.
"Hold on Saturn. That sounded like Washu, she was with the Masaki's earlier when I met with Katsuhito-sensei."
Saturn nodded and dropped the Silence Glaive into a resting position. The butt of the weapon grounded by her right foot, but from the way she gripped the weapon Saturn was still obviously more than ready to bring it into play if she needed to.
"If you say so Michiru." Hotaru answered carefully avoiding the word mama. It was likely that Washu had seen the transformation. She had certainly responded to her breaking from the glass prison she and her mama had been in. That wasn't a certainty however as the timing of her entrance could be nothing more than coincidence. If Washu hadn't seen the transformation and didn't already know who she was she wasn't going to give her extra clues now.
"So Washu, just where are we?" Michiru queried.
"You are in my lab. Both of you were hurt pretty badly so I brought you here so I could treat your injuries."
"And just where is here. This place looks huge." Michiru continued.
"Well. To be honest this is a pocket dimension I created in sub-space to house my laboratory. This is actually just one level of the lab."
"Wow. Just how many levels are there?" Saturn questioned her natural curiosity getting the better of her.
"That varies. I can change the size of the lab pretty easily." Washu bragged. "Right now I have seven levels. This one is the top level. When we leave here we'll be back at Tenchi's house."
Washu paused a moment before continuing. "Michiru, I see that the girl here is Sailor Saturn. So which Senshi are you? I'd guess Neptune or Mercury as your aura indicates an affinity for water, though my guess is Neptune."
Michiru sighed, it seemed to be a pattern that had evolved over the last few days. She had been constantly forced into revealing more about herself than she was really comfortable doing. Still, it was clear that it was far too late to pretend innocence or ignorance now, at least so far as Washu was concerned. Perhaps turnabout was fair play, after all she had deduced that most of the Masaki residents were in fact aliens . . . or at least weren't "normal" humans. They didn't feel like any oni she had run across before so she had her money on aliens, at least so far.
"Yes, I am Sailor Neptune," Michiru answered. "I would ask that you keep that information confidential and that you don't tell any of the others here."
"Well . . . "Washu paused. "If you'll agree to let me do some tests on the two of you I think I can agree to that. I have a few questions that I'd like to ask you though," pausing for effect Washu then finished her sentence. "Just how it is that someone . . . a girl . . . like you can be a senshi.
Ever observant, Washu did not miss the flinch that her question brought to Michiru's face, nor the lightning quick glance she shot the younger girl's way. It was obvious that Michiru had caught the slight stress on certain words in the question. The genius didn't miss the look of confusion playing on Saturn's face at her choice of words.
"It's not much different for me than any of the other girls," Michiru answered her question after a long pause. "We're the reincarnations of the previous Senshi." She finished, doing her best to dance on the delicate line between truth and falsehood.
Michiru paused, considering the rest of her response carefully. "I can't tell you about the other senshi without their permission and permission from the Princess." Michiru answered softly but with implacable firmness.
"That still doesn't answer my question about your ability to become a magical girl," Washu probed. It seemed clear that Saturn didn't know to what she was referring, and the scientist didn't know how Michiru would react to having her secret revealed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Even as she spoke Ranma didn't miss the irony of her statement. ". . . any of the other girls" indeed. How many times had she denied that she was a girl? Back in Nerima Ranma had not only denied any possibility of being a girl, she had been responded to each accusation with a firm denial, said denial usually accompanied by a loud yell, defiant look and the threat of immediate bodily harm unless the accuser recanted the statement immediately. Despite the gravity of the situation Ranma had to smile. Oh how things had changed in the course of living through two new lifetimes.
The kami's sense of humor must be strange indeed. For the first two years after getting the curse her goal had been to cure it. She had firmly rejected any statement, or even the slightest implication, that she was a girl. Now the thought of being a boy or called a boy was just as (or even more) distasteful than her original fear of being/becoming a girl.
Ranma's heart plunged as she darted a quick look over at her daughter. Hotaru had obviously caught Washu's words. True, Hotaru looked more confused than anything, but she knew the stubborn look on Hotaru's face only to well, she had seen it many times before. Hotaru was normally a quiet and unassuming girl, sometimes too much so for Ranma's tastes, but once she decided something was important she could be as stubborn as a mule. When she did she got a certain look on her face . . . and the expression on her face now was just that look. Hotaru was going to follow up on this come Hell or High Water. Nope, when she got that look it was serious, Hotaru was not going to let her just brush this off. Her daughter was going to want answers and want them soon.
Of course that probably would've been true even if Washu hadn't uttered a word. Hotaru's mere presence her, (when the girl shouldn't even have known about today's fight) spoke volumes about what Hotaru already knew, or at least guessed. Ranma felt sick as she considered the possibilities. If Hotaru was here then Setsuna had probably brought her, and if Hotaru was here with Pluto then it was a better than even chance that at the very least Chibi-Usa was here as well and Kami knows who else saw the debacle in the meadow . . . and who else may have heard her negotiations with the old letch.
Yep, she could almost see Pluto's hand in all of this. The question was why now? Pluto had never even hinted at knowing of her past until yesterday, now her fingerprints were all over the situation. Ranma had always feared that Setsuna would find out about her past, and to be honest she was surprised that Pluto hadn't interfered before . . . or if she had she had kept the knowledge to herself and covered her tracks well.
A slight grin made it's way across Ranma's face. It was also obvious that Haruka wasn't here, and for that she thanked whatever Kami were listening. If her hot-tempered lover had been at the fight she would never have been able to keep her presence a secret, and her interference would have cost her the fight. Even if Haruka had somehow managed to stay out of her fight with Happosai she would never have let Hotaru run into danger. Hell, Haruka would've hammered Ryouga before Hotaru could have taken more than a step or two into the clearing.
Ranma's grin died a quick and gruesome death as another thought occurred to her. Haruka would've interfered and would've come to her aid . . . or would she. Ranma's heart sank even further as she considered another possibility. What if Haruka had been present, but had been so disgusted by what she had seen and heard that she didn't want to even see her right now. Maybe she had seen and heard enough to decide that she didn't want to continue their relationship anymore.
Ranma weaved unsteadily as she fought her fear. NO! she told herself. Haruka wouldn't do that to her. The blonde had promised last night to always be there for her . . . she had promised to listen. If Haruka had been here she would at least have waited to talk to her before deciding to break things off . . . wouldn't she?
A small voice inside Ranma's head took a different position. "Sure" it said, "She promised to listen to her girlfriend to Michiru . . . she didn't say anything about a gender changing freak like Ranma." Ranma tried to ignore the voice, but as much as she tried she could still hear her fears speaking, whispering of the doom that was yet to come.
Dammit when was life going to cut her a break? Ranma knew that most of what had happened over the last few days was entirely her fault. Hell, if she'd been willing to ignore Hotaru's pleas yesterday and not taken her to Nerima Hotaru wouldn't know about Saotome Ranma, nor Ranko or Happosai. Now that Hotaru had seen those pictures and the events in the meadow it was too late. Like a genie released from its bottle the secrets were out and weren't going back in. Now the idea of keeping her family ignorant of her past was nothing but a pipe dream. Everything she'd worked so hard to keep hidden was coming out into the light, all of her skeletons were dancing in plain view for anyone to see.
Ranma cursed her own pride. Though not as often shown now, it was still a weakness that she had, a weakness that she was now going to pay for. It had been nothing but presumptive arrogance to assume that she could keep secrets from Pluto and the others and do what she'd been doing over the last few days. When she had first discovered her destiny as the Senshi of Neptune she had considered abandoning her long-standing plans to regain her art out of just this fear. The passage of time without her secrets coming to light had made her complacent and careless, now she would pay for that carelessness.
Shaking her head Ranma continued to rail at herself and her idiocy. She hadn't even considered what Chibi-Usa might know, what might have been revealed to those in her time.
If she had only been willing to leave things alone none of this would have come to light. If she had only been willing to give up the Art, been willing to ignore her connections to her past life in Nerima . . . if she'd been willing to ignore her honor. There might not be much of Ranma visible in Michiru, at least not on the outside, but they were the same person and honor meant a lot to both of her. Ranma tried to stifle a rather hysterical sounding giggle at that last thought. Even thinking about the mess that was her life wasn't easy.
"Honor meant a lot to both of her indeed." Despite her best efforts the laughter escaped, the normal mirthful sounds tinged with a bit of madness. The sounds drew looks of concern from both Hotaru and Washu as they obviously wondered if she was losing her mind. Their expressions did nothing to stifle her laughter.
Sighing in defeat, Ranma reached out and took Hotaru's free hand and gave it a squeeze. She was going to have to answer Washu's question, honor dictated no less given the circumstances . . . and what the girl obviously already knew. However, before she gave her answer she wanted one last bit on contact with her daughter, she wanted to pull a little bit of comfort from the girl she loved as if she was her own flesh and blood. Despite the minute long pause Ranma knew she could stall no more and knew as well that the truth was going to come out . . . and she desperately hoped that when it did she would still have a family to call her own.
"You obviously know something Washu or you wouldn't have asked your question quite that way," Ranma continued.
He saw Washu's nod of confirmation.
"I take it that the equipment here is capable of analyzing magic?"
Again Washu only nodded, for once content to listen without interruptions.
"I suppose you know about the "other" transformational curse."
For the third time the red-haired genius only nodded.
Ranma's shoulders slumped in defeat. It seemed clear that Washu did know something, probably the effect at least (if not the cause) of the curse. Of course with Happosai calling her boy and Ranma, it was no wonder that Washu had figured it out. The problem was that it wasn't just Washu. Ranma could tell from the look on Hotaru's face that her daughter had questions as well.
To be honest Ranma had little or no compunctions against lying to the red haired woman despite honor's call if her duty as a senshi demanded it. But she didn't want to lie anymore to her family, that was an honor debt of a completely different magnitude. Hotaru was here and listening, it was time that she told her the truth . . . even if her daughter hated her for it. Yes, it was time to reveal her most desperately guarded secret.
Ranma studied the floor, not willing to meet the eyes of either woman. It was then that she realized something that had escaped her previously. She was still naked. Hotaru was dressed in her fuku, it had appeared when she transformed, but she didn't have a stitch of clothing on.
Looking up Ranma continued, a lopsided grin locked on her face. "If I'm going to answer your question could I at least have some clothes?"
Washu blinked, and then surprisingly enough, blushed as she realized she'd been gazing intently at the naked girl before her. "Sorry about that. The healing gel works best if it can get to all of you and I was so interested in what my computers were telling me that I forgot.
Washu typed rapidly on her computer and a moment later a small pile of clothes fell from somewhere (or perhaps nowhere) to land at Michiru's feet. They didn't rest there long as Michiru promptly grabbed and donned the garment in the blink of an eye. When she finished dressing, Michiru returned her attention to Hotaru and Washu.
"Hotaru, I hope you'll listen to me before you make any decisions . . . please promise me you will listen." Ranma caught and held her daughters eyes, trying to make her see just how important this was to her, trying to convince her to listen . . . and to not hate her for what she was going to reveal.
"I promise mama," Hotaru answered.
Ranma took a deep breath and revealed a secret that she had hoped was never going to come to light so far as her family was concerned. She had intended to deal with the mess in Nerima, and some of them were going to find out part of the truth . . . enough to give them a chance at new lives with honor intact . . . but only two were going to get all of the truth. Kasumi she had already confided in, Nabiki she intended to. She trusted both of them implicitly, something that Michiru could do that Ranma would never have been able to at least so far as the middle Tendo was concerned.
She owed it to them to reveal that she was locked as a girl so that they could move on with their own lives otherwise Xian Pu, Ukyo and Akane were in limbo, required by their own honor to seek "him" out at all costs or lose their own honor. Xian Pu had the most to lose, but she thought she had that taken care of. Hopefully the "other" Xian Pu would be able to see to that.
But even with them the revelations were going to be limited in scope. She was going to give them just enough to satisfy honor, but not enough for them to be able to interfere with her new life . . . at least that was the hope. If they didn't take the opportunity . . . well suffice it to say they would find out just how far Michiru would go to protect those dear to her. But she had hoped it would end there. Ranma knew she could handle their rejection, but if her own family did the same, that didn't bear thinking about.
"Mama, are you alright?"
Ranma was broken out of her reverie by her daughter's words.
Still unsure of how to begin, Ranma took a deep breath, hoping that a little humor would help. Even in her despair she managed to relish the irony of her chosen introduction to the truth.
"Hi, I'm Saotome Ranma, Sorry 'bout this,"
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Hotaru stared at her mama, panic rising from deep inside her soul. First her mama had been so lost in thought that she had sat unmoving for almost five minutes. For those long minutes time seemed to creep by as they waited for her answer. Finally her mama had pasted on a given a weak smile, a far cry from her usual warm expression, and spoke.
Despite what had been so clearly hinted at by both of the older women the words were still a shock for Hotaru to hear.
Her mama had just admitted that she was a boy . . . but how? Hotaru desperately searched her mother's face for any sign that this was a joke. Though Michiru presented a face to the rest of the world of the "perfect young lady" Hotaru knew differently. Her mama had a wicked sense of humor when she chose to employ it. This had to be a joke, it had to be.
Looking deeper though Hotaru realized it wasn't a joke, there was no twinkle in her mama's eyes, no hint of mischief. Instead of the usual poker face and well-hidden mirth she half expected, the young girl saw fear in her mama's eyes, and underneath the fear resignation. It was as if Michiru-mama was somehow both relieved that her secret was coming out and terrified at the same time . . . but it still didn't make sense. A curse? What kind of curse and how long had she had it. Even if she were cursed it still didn't make sense. Michiru was a girl, the Kaiou's had adopted her when she was only six years old for crying out loud, and she was a girl then. Ranma had been a boy all his life, and he was a teenager, the same age as her mama.
Fighting her own panic, Hotaru squeezed her mama's hand and tried to stay calm. But this was one battle that she wasn't going to win as she felt her world turning upside down.
"Mama, what are you talking about?" her confusion commingled with a desperate plea that all would be all right.
Michiru answered, pain resonating just as clearly in her own voice. "Washu do you have somewhere we can sit down? I don't think Hotaru is taking this well." Left unspoken was the fact that neither was she.
Washu nodded, and typed on her keyboard. Shortly thereafter three "cushions" appeared out of no-where and floated in the air. Washu promptly plopped down on one and motioned to the others to join her.
The three sat in silence for several moments, the quiet broken only by the humming of machinery in the background. Two of them trying to digest what had been said, and one hoping that everything would still manage to turn out okay.
Hotaru waited impatiently for her mama to begin. When it became clear that Michiru wasn't going to start immediately, Hotaru opened the conversation.
"Mama. What do you mean that you are Saotome Ranma? He's a boy who lives in Nerima with Kasumi-chan and the other Tendos . . . isn't he?"
"Hotaru," Michiru began only to stop as her voice broke.
Hotaru watched as her normally imperturbable mother tried to speak, stopped and tried again. Whatever Michiru was going to tell her obviously frightened her . . . and that terrified Hotaru. She'd never seen her mama like this before, not even in the worst of battles.
"Hotaru. I've been hiding a large part of my life from you, Haruka and the others. It's going to sound crazy, probably crazier than anything else you've ever heard or seen, but it's the truth. Before I start I want you to know that I'd never do anything to hurt you or the others, but I was afraid . . . "once again, Michiru broke down. No tears came, but her petite frame shook with silent sobs. It took her several moments and a couple of deep breaths before she could recover enough to continue.
"I promise that I'll tell you everything later, you, me, Haruka and Setsuna, you all deserve to know the truth . . . "Hotaru's heart nearly broke as she watched her mother try to smile, tried and failed miserably. Watching the imperturbable Kaiou Michiru break down was like watching the sun rise in the west, it was such an impossibility that the mind refused to accept it as fact.
"It's okay mama," Hotaru nearly cried as she saw Michiru flinch at her words. "Mama it's going to be okay." She spoke again, leaving her own cushion to join her mama on hers. Hotaru shoved her own confusion away as she tried to help her mama. Leaving her cushion Hotaru sat down and pulled her mama into a warm hug, trying to comfort the one who had so often comforted her.
The ghost of a smile finally graced Michiru's face as she looked down at her daughter. But the expression Hotaru saw was a far cry from the serene and loving smile that she normally received from her mama and Hotaru felt the fear return. Just what was it that was scaring her mama so badly . . . and how could she have ever been a boy?
"I hope you are right Hotaru-chan, I hope you are right," Steeling herself Michiru continued.
"The short of it is that I was born a boy. I was Saotome Ranma. I received a curse when I was in China on a martial arts training trip. When I was hit with cold water I turned into a girl, hot water would turn me back."
Michiru paused seeing the confusion in her daughter's eyes and the almost manic interest in the emerald green eyes of Washu.
"It's the truth, Hotaru," Michiru whispered. "I put up with the curse for almost two years. Ranma's life was hell. When I couldn't stand it anymore I found a way out."
"But mama," Hotaru interrupted still confused. "The Kaiou's adopted you when you were little. Didn't they know that you were a boy? And if you grew up in Juban how could you go on a ten year training trip?"
Michiru sighed, it seemed to be a habit today. "The short answer to all your questions is magic. I found and used magic to obtain a new life and in order to start fresh I became a child again."
"But wouldn't Pluto stop . . . "Hotaru broke off as she realized the answer to her own question.
If it were necessary that Ranma had to "die" and become Michiru it was likely that Pluto would not only allow it, she might well cause it to happen. Hotaru saw Michiru's confirming nod.
"I don't think she knew . . . at not least the one we have now, but in the future . . . who knows?"
Michiru sighed again. "As to the reason I had to do it. Well that's an entirely different matter. Basically my baka father tangled me with so many different honor debts that I couldn't satisfy them all so I had to find a way out. I knew of a way to time-travel and used it. I also locked my curse so that I wouldn't be a freak anymore." Michiru managed a weak smile for her daughter. "Believe me I know what it's like to be a freak. Very few people could handle my curse. The boys all wanted to get to know my girl side, the girls thought I was a pervert who used it . . . well lets just say they thought I was a pervert." Michiru finished.
Hotaru tried to speak, her mouth opened and though her lips moved, but no sound escaped. Even given the rather "unusual" childhood she had, this was nearly too much to believe. She had gone from girl to child and back again, but that was under some really strange circumstances, now her mama said she had done the same, but had done so willingly.
She watched as the tears finally began to flow, moving slowly down Michiru's face to drip off her chin. Even now though Michiru was silent, trying to remain strong in the face of the rejection she clearly expected. Hotaru didn't know what to make of the story. She knew that it was going to take some time for it to really sink in. The one thing that she did know is that her mama was hurting, one of the few people to ever love her wholeheartedly was terrified that her daughter was going to hate her.
Knowing that words were going to fail her Hotaru did the one thing that she could . . . she pulled her mama into tight hug and held on as she felt her mama shudder as she cried, even now doing her best to remain silent and in control . . . trying and failing for once to do so.. There was still a lot that she wanted to know, and despite how desperately she wanted to ask questions Hotaru knew that now wasn't the time. Her mama had promised to tell her the whole story later, and her mama never broke her word.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma felt her control slipping as she talked. She could see the confusion in her daughter's eyes, and she couldn't bear to look into those purple eyes any longer. She didn't want to actually see the moment Hotaru's confusion turned to disgust the disgust to anger. Ranma cursed her weakness, her fear, but even her iron will failed and she just couldn't make herself meet her daughter's eyes as she waited for the hurtful words to come . . . waited for Hotaru to tell her she wasn't . . . couldn't be her mama any more.
"Mama," her daughters voice was ever so soft and hesitant, and broke before she could utter more than a single word.
Ranma flinched as she waited for the words she so dreaded to hear. Instead she heard Hotaru's voice trail and moments later felt Hotaru's presence as her daughter enveloped her in an embrace that was both strong and gentle at the same time. Ranma clung to her daughter drawing comfort from the embrace . . . if the gesture was any indication at least her daughter still cared and wasn't going to reject her.
Ranma felt more than saw Washu get up, and softly pad away. The last words she heard from the diminutive genius was the message that she would leave the two alone and when they were ready to leave all they had to do was call out and she would return. Hotaru answered, what she said Ranma didn't know, her mind was to wrapped up in her fears and worries to even care. Then they were alone, and Hotaru held her, held on and didn't let go. Ranma could feel herself shaking, could feel the pain searching for release, but the sobs were held inside by will alone as she tried to draw comfort from her daughters embrace. It helped . . . but the fear of rejection still clawed deeply in her soul, and even her daughter's love failed to completely dislodge its hold on her soul.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Washu cursed softly as she left the two hurting women alone. For once she cursed the curiosity that was (usually) such a gift. If she had known that Michiru was keeping her past a secret from even her own family she would've found another way . . . but she hadn't and the damage was done. In her own excitement, in her own triumph at finding the hidden secrets the other redhead possessed, she had erred, and had done so badly. Now all she could do was hope that things turned out well despite her interference.
Exiting her lab the scientist saw the expectant eyes of Nodoka and the curious eyes of the others. They had obviously returned from the sparring match, when she didn't know, but here they were and eagerly waiting for an update as to her patient's condition.
Nodoka and Katsuhito looked tired but happy, the rest looked shocked as if they had run into yet another surprise in a day filled with surprises. Tenchi and the girls kept shooting sly glances at the older pair, glances that spoke of hidden humor.
"What's up Washu-chan?" Tenchi broke the silence first, as Nodoka was too nervous to do so.
"Michiru and Hotaru are awake. They will need a few minutes to talk then they'll be right out."
"Awake!" the Masaki girls sang in chorus.
"I thought you said they wouldn't be awake until tomorrow," Ayeka was the first to recover from her surprise.
"I did say that didn't I?" Washu grinned impudently. "Well thanks to my genius and the healing tanks I designed they recovered faster than usual."
"Michiru did always heal quickly," Katsuhito noted.
"Yes she did," Nodoka chimed in proudly. "When can I see my daughter?"
"They should be ready to come out in a bit. I'm not sure how long it will take as they were deep in conversation when I left," Washu advised. "To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if little Hotaru isn't in a bit of trouble. I don't think her mother knew she was coming."
Nodoka nodded, "And if I know my daughter's temper, Hotaru will be lucky to escape being grounded if she disobeyed her." Nodoka's grin took on a stellar glow as she realized that Michiru was going to be fine, the glow only magnified as she was going to finally meet her daughter's own adopted child. Impossibly the already radiant expression brightened yet a third time now that Nodoka no longer had to worry about her daughter's condition. Now the worry had been replaced with one thought, "Grandchildren". She had nearly despaired of ever being a grandmother . . . and now she was.
"Would anyone like some tea while we wait?" the ever-practical Sasami asked. The rest of the occupants looked like bobble-head dolls at the thought of enjoying the young princess's tea, for with tea came home-made snacks and Sasami was a domestic goddess in the kitchen. Seeing the nods the aqua haired girl bustled into the kitchen to prepare tea and snacks.
"So, Katsuhito," Washu's eyes twinkled with undisguised glee. "Did you have fun with Nodoka today?"
Nodoka blushed like a schoolgirl as she caught the implications in the young scientist's words.
"Washu-chan, we but sparred today and then had tea," Nodoka stammered.
Her interest in the eldest Masaki was betrayed by the guilty gleam in her eyes, and the color that found it's way into her cheeks. A sight that none of the others missed.
Katsuhito's answer was more restrained, as the eldest Masaki simply smiled, then softly added. "It was good to see her again."
Tenchi and the girls exchanged knowing looks. While the answer was low key it hinted at what they had begun to suspect, but what they also knew better than to openly state. Normally Katsuhito would've either replied with a martial arts witticism or perhaps a sly innuendo as he did so often when confronting the girls. This answer, which fit neither of his usual patterns spoke of deep feelings, feelings that perhaps even the Grandmaster of the Masaki Art didn't know he had.
Before the situation could become even more embarrassing to the couple, young Sasami returned with a tray loaded with goodies and the conversation turned to other things, safer things.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Akane, could you get the door please?" Kasumi's ever-cheerful voice wafted out from her small kingdom.
The eldest Tendo was in the middle of fixing supper and didn't want to leave the food she was preparing. When no answer came, Kasumi sighed and turned the fire down under the burners. If it didn't take to long to deal with their visitor nothing would be ruined. Indeed, to be truthful she was probably the only one who would be able to tell that something was "off" unless she actually burnt something. Still it would be nice if someone else would occasionally help her out a bit. Since Ranma had left it seemed that all life had drained from the Tendo home.
Kasumi glided out of the kitchen on her way to the door, a miniscule frown making the already attractive woman look even cuter. Uncle Genma and her Father were sitting at the gaming table, ignoring everything but each other and the board. The reason for that of course, is that either or both would take ruthless advantage of the other should their concentration waiver. Nabiki was upstairs, Akane . . . well her youngest sibling was sitting on the couch staring listlessly at the television.
"Akane, Akane, AKANE!" each time she spoke her words were just a bit louder and more forceful.
The last attempt apparently worked as Akane jumped, startled out of her reverie.
"What is it Onee-chan?"
"Akane, would you please get the door for me? I'm in the middle of cooking supper and I need to get back to check on things."
Akane's reply was rather feeble, and her smile even more so, but in response to her sister's request stood and padded over to the door quietly opening it. A young woman with black hair pulled up into a bun stood there, an impatient frown on her face. The annoyed expression quickly morphed into a professional, (if impersonal) smile when the door opened.
"May I help you?"
"I hope so," the woman replied with a tired smile. "I've got a package here for one Saotome Genma. Does he live here?"
"Akane nodded, "Yes he does. Shall I get him or can I sign for it?"
"He needs to sign for it," the woman answered briskly. "It's from a lawyer's office."
Akane frowned and felt the stirrings of anger. What had the baka-panda done now? Undoubtedly it was trouble . . . unfortunately trouble for Genma normally meant trouble Ranma . . . and for the Tendos as well. The youngest Tendo fought back the pain that this last thought brought her. Why should she care about the Baka anyway? He'd left her . . . three months and no word had come from him. It was only now that Akane realized just how much she cared for him.
She turned and hollered into the depths of the house. "Genma, there's a package for you."
"You can wait inside, he will be here in a moment," she finished, turning her attention back to the delivery-woman.
A few moments later Saotome Genma shuffled into view. It was amazing what three months without his son had done to the martial artist. Where once his very presence filled the area with his loud and boisterous presence, now he was a shrunken remnant of that man. He had seen the one dream he had held for so many years turn to smoke and fade away, destroyed by the one he had used and abused so often.
Akane sniffed disdainfully, and then glared feeling the familiar comfort of anger as she surveyed the father of her one-time fiancée. Even anger had lost its allure however and she couldn't hold the feeling for long. Shaking her head the girl moved listlessly back to the couch and her television program, once more sinking into the lethargy that had overtaken her since her last angry encounter with Ranma.
Akane's emotions were a muddled mess and she herself wasn't much better. Part of her was relieved that Ranma was gone, for when he went so did the pressure to get married, so did the madness and chaos that surrounded his life. Even now the youngest Tendo wasn't sure how to handle his absence. She had cared for him . . . had maybe even loved him. She could admit that to herself now that he was gone, now that she had time to think without being interrupted by the problems that followed him around.
Even though she admitted (at least to herself) that she loved Saotome Ranma, part of her still wondered if they could've made a marriage work. For all their love, part of her just couldn't trust him. Akane didn't know if she ever could . . . and one of the foundations of a good marriage was trust.
Still another part of her admitted that some of the problems were indeed her fault. She had always been quick to assume the worst when she was dealing with the pig-tailed boy. Now that he was gone (and the constant chaos with him) she found herself remembering the times that they had together. She remembered how she had been so quick to assume that "Neko- Ranma" would've kissed anyone, and that their first kiss had been nothing more than an accident. She remembered how she would take Ryouga's side and how she always assumed that Ranma was at fault for their fights. Yes, now that he was gone she could admit that sometimes it was Ryouga's fault they fought. She could admit that part of the problems were of her own making.
Yet not all of them were. Ranma had been so infuriating in his indecision and his immaturity. True, part of that was due to having only one example when growing up . . . and hardly a sterling one at that. Genma was a great martial artist, but he was a piss-poor man in many ways. Still there was no doubt that things could've gone differently had they both tried harder.
Part of her desperately wanted him back. For all his faults he had been there for her whenever things were the worst. On the other hand, many of the problems she had encountered were a direct result of him coming into her life. Yet on a third hand, (Akane ruefully grinned at the number of hands she was using) several were not. It was her father's foolishness that had created a lot of the problems she had with the "princes" and others who had made her life such a nightmare.
Akane sighed. She wasn't sure what to think. One thing was certain, Ranma had made a major impact on her life. He was her first love, and even with the problems he brought she had felt things in his presence that she had never felt with anyone else
Still he had run off, he was gone and showed no signs of coming back. She had been shocked when he left and didn't return. They had had their fights before and always before the Baka came back . . . but this time he didn't. The fact that he had run, the fact that he had not been restrained by his honor still amazed her.
Her life had definitely taken a different turn since he left. The "other fiancées" had given her a hard time at first, and still did when their paths crossed. She could handle that pressure though.
Kuno Kodachi was the worst, but Akane didn't fear the crazed gymnast. She had learned a lot while Ranma was here. True she never came close to matching his abilities, but still she had learned. Ukyo was mad . . . or perhaps furious was a better word to describe their relationship now, but as mad as the spatula wielding martial artist was, she had never threatened Akane. Shampoo was perhaps the biggest surprise of all. Once it became clear that Ranma was indeed gone, she had simply ignored Akane . . . her only comment was that it was about time that her "Arien" had left "violent girl." Their paths seldom crossed. Indeed other than checking in from time to time to see if Ranma had returned Shampoo hadn't even bothered her, choosing to spend her time searching for Ranma instead.
Still lost in her thoughts Akane barely registered the conversation behind her and didn't even hear the door open and close as the courier made her delivery and left. The sound of rustling paper and of a package being open never penetrated the haze her mind was in . . . until Genma let out a rather shocked yell.
Akane jumped and turned to look at her fiancée's father, (if she could still call him that). Genma's face was shocked, an expression that soon manifested on Akane's face as well. Genma was holding a letter . . . and the scabbard that once held the Saotome honor blade.
"What the . . . "Genma looked at the empty scabbard with puzzled eyes, then looking closer he pulled a folded piece of paper from it.
His heart nearly stopped as he recognized the yellowed piece of paper. It was that damned seppuku contract. Then he realized she had returned it to him, but why in the empty scabbard of her katana. Genma looked blankly at the faded document before seeing the ink patters on the back the newer ink showing through. Turning the document over he read Nodoka's words with disbelief.
"She's . . . she's divorced me," Genma sputtered. "Nodoka has renounced the Saotome name and is now ronin, and she pawned the Saotome Clan katana."
"She WHAT??!!!" Akane found herself yelling.
"Nodoka took her name off the Clan registry . . . her's and Ranma's as well," Genma's voice was dazed as he looked at the documents he held, and the scabbard that had been delivered with them. "She said that my promises of honor are as empty as this scabbard and that unlike my honor which I sold so cheaply I can at least redeem the family sword."
"Oh my," Kasumi's voice echoed from her place at the kitchen door.
Silence reigned for several moments before being broken by an ice-cold whisper.
"So Saotome, it looks like they are finally free of you doesn't it," Nabiki's voice broke the stillness.
"What . . . what does it say about Ranma?" Akane whispered, torn between hope that she would finally find her missing love, and the fear that the madness would start again.
"Nothing," Genma answered absently his mind still in shock and not yet working after reading the note Nodoka had penned. "She just removed both of them from the registry. It doesn't say anything about a new Clan or where he is."
"Does Aunty Nodoka know where Ranma is," Nabiki asked, her eyes gleaming and her voice carrying undertones of concern and something else that none of the others could quite pin down.
"The last time I asked her all she said was that Ranma was gone and wasn't coming back," Genma answered brokenly.
"So nothing new as far as where Ranma is," Nabiki pressed.
"Nothing," the Saotome patriarch answered softly, "Nothing."
Nabiki frowned, she still hoped that she would be able to find him. Part of her hoped he would turn up.
Nabiki knew that it was probably to later for her to have what she really wanted. But then again she'd never really had him as anything other than a friend. A friend she hadn't recognized until it was to late. She had hoped that she could find her friend again but each passing day lessened that hope, and she didn't have so many friends that she could just lose one. She and Ranma might not ever be more than friends, but at least she was smarter than Ukyo. If all he wanted was friendship that she would offer him and gladly. He was one of the few to ever accept her as she was, and that acceptance meant the world to her.
Nabiki let her shoulders droop and headed back to her room. It was good to see the panda finally get what was coming to him, but even that left a cold emptiness in her soul. She missed Ranma and revenge, even so sweet as this was didn't fill the place in her heart that he had occupied. He was her friend and she missed him.
"Where did I go wrong," Genma moaned. In a flash his despair turned to anger as Nodoka's words finally sank in.
His shock rapidly turned to volcanic anger and he continued snarling. "That ungrateful bitch . . .how dare she . . . that bitch and the boy are ruining my life."
"Uncle Genma," Kasumi uncharacteristically snapped her voice laced with vitriol. "I will NOT allow you to call Aunty Nodoka names. You have no one to blame but yourself . . . you and your fat stomach. If I hear you talking about Aunty like that again you can do your own cooking, cleaning and laundry for I shall not. I will not stand for you saying or doing anything else to her or poor Ranma."
The others looked in shock at the normally meek and mild woman they so often took for granted. The glare she fixed Genma with could probably blast through the armored hull of a main battle tank. The warm smile and somewhat vacant expression that normally adorned her face was gone, leaving in its place an expression of disgust and distaste that seemed foreign to her gentle features. . Kasumi spoke not another word as she turned and headed back into the kitchen. Behind her she left Nabiki with a shocked and yet somehow respectful expression on her cold features, Genma wordlessly fuming and her little sister Akane gasping from shock like a fish out of water. There were some things that Kasumi knew that even she couldn't put to right . . . and she knew better than to even try.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Are you ready for this daughter?" Nodoka asked looking down at Michiru's smaller frame.
Nodoka smiled slightly. It seemed so strange to think of Michiru as Ranma. After all she'd grown up around the quiet girl. She'd spent years watching her grow and learn, had seen her turn from a tomboyish young girl into a lady. Indeed she had more than a little hand in the transformation herself. The years she'd never had with Ranma she had spent with Michiru pouring her heart out to the young orphan girl. Somehow it seemed more natural to think of her child as Michiru rather than as Ranma.
It had been hard, those two years when Ranma was at the Tendos. It had been hard to watch has her son experienced hell on earth, a hell that caused her to become Michiru. Yet even so another part of her was glad. She had been able to be there for Michiru as she had never been able to be with her son. However there was one thing the older woman knew without a doubt. Legal name or not, Michiru was as much (if not more) her daughter than she was the Kaiou's child. Michiru was her life . . . and she didn't regret it for an instant.
"I believe so mama?" Michiru answered firmly. "Do you think Happosai will keep his word?"
Nodoka paused, considering her daughter's question, absently caressing the katana by her side, comforted by its presence, as she had never been comforted by the Saotome honor blade she had carried for so long. That blade had been tainted by the seppuku promise she had signed with Genma. That blade had embodied her worst fears and nightmares, yet she had carried that burden for so long because honor demanded it.
It was strange really. Genma had never been interested in the art of the sword even though he came from an old samurai family. Indeed he had detested weapons and looked down upon those who used them. With the wisdom of hindsight Nodoka wondered if perhaps his distaste for weapons was due to his own lack of real honor. After all one who truly followed the code of the samurai held honor and duty above all else . . . while Genma put himself before any code of honor. He had shown his shallow, greedy nature all to often. The result of his foolish greed had been to create a situation for their son that made preserving his honor nearly impossible. Even now she doubted that she really understood the pressure that Michiru had been under when she was Ranma.
This blade on the other hand was originally from her own clan, that of Clan Isagomo, but it had been part of House Masaki for generations now. She and Katsuhito had just finished sparring when he asked her to accompany her to the shrine for tea and a bit of conversation. She had suspected nothing, thinking he wanted to talk about Michiru and the events that had transpired today. He had, and they had talked of their joint student, but the conversation hadn't ended there.
After they finished their tea he had gone into the back of the shrine and when he returned he had been carrying two pairs of blades. The first he offered to her as a gift, a matched set of blades that she carried even now.
They were swords of the highest quality, true representations of the sword maker's art. Crafted in the old style, they were of the best folded-steel flawless and strong. The craftsmanship of the scabbards and accoutrements was of the same level. She had tried to refuse the gift telling her sensei that she was nothing more than a ronin and did not deserve such fine blades.
Nodoka smiled as she recalled his response. Sensei Masaki had laughed gently and told her that he knew of one clan that would be more than willing to take her in. She blushed as she recalled her first reaction to his statement, for the briefest of moments she had thought he was . . . . Shaking her head to clear it of those thoughts she sighed. He had offered her a name, and she had accepted.
Then he had told her the history of the blades he offered. They were the blades carried by her ancestor Funaho, once of the Isagomo Clan and then of House Jurai. His house, Katsuhito had said, and the Clan that the Masaki's claimed by kin ties, one that didn't appear on any registry and one (that if her daughter's suspicions were true) never would.
Katsuhito had not revealed everything, and when pressed had simply stated that it was not yet time for that story to be told, but he had confirmed that Funaho was his direct ancestor and stressed that she would surely be honored to have one such as Nodoka to carry them now. In the face of his assertions, (and to be honest her love for the blades he offered) she had consented.
To her surprise Katsuhito had gone on to say that he intended to present the other blades to Michiru as a gift as well, a celebration of her skill and what she had achieved in learning the art of the sword. He had confided in her still further and told her that they were blades he had carried in his youth.
Though they were rather plain to look at, still something about them drew her eyes. It was as if they were special . . . as if they had a destiny yet unfulfilled.
"Mama?" Are you okay?"
"Yes daughter I am fine. I was just thinking about the blades Sensei gifted me with today."
"That Sensei Masaki gifted you with, or that Masaki Katsuhito gifted you with? They are such a lovely gift, and a gift like that to a samurai-ko such as yourself . . . "
Nodoka heard the teasing in her daughter's voice.
"Now Michiru. It was nothing like that."
"Are you sure mama? I mean he is taking you into the Masaki Clan."
Nodoka couldn't prevent the blush that her daughter's teasing comments brought.
"Maybe he intends to bring you fully into the Clan later? Perhaps more directly into the main family line?" Michiru's voice contained more than a bit of laughter as she teased her mother.
"That's enough Michiru," Nodoka scolded. "Kat . . . Sensei is much older than me you know."
"I know mama." Michiru continued, her eyes dancing as she caught the slip of her mother's tongue.
Nodoka didn't miss the mischievous glance her "daughter" shot her, nor could she fight down the shiver that Michiru's words brought. It was true that she had quite the crush on her sensei when she was younger, in that oh so innocent time before Saotome Genma. It was also true that he was still a fine figure of a man, even if he were truly old enough to be her father.
"Besides,"
"Michiru that's enough,"
"Gee mama. I was just going to say that with his level of ki control he'd probably be around and in good health for a long, long time."
Though the words were innocent in and of themselves Nodoka couldn't help but consider what Michiru was saying . . . and if there was one thing that was definitely true about Masaki Nodoka if she wanted something she would try her best to get it come hell or high water, and she would pay the cost of her actions whatever they may be. She had willingly paid the price to be with Genma. What more would she be willing to pay for someone . . .
"Am I interrupting anything?" Masaki Katsuhito asked as he made his way toward the two softly conversing women.
"Nothing of importance Sensei," Michiru answered for the both of them. "Did Washu-chan say how much longer it would be before Happosai was going to be up and around?"
"Washu said that she would bring him out in about five minutes. Then another five minutes for him to wake up."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Masaki Katsuhito watched as he approached his former students. Michiru and Nodoka were conversing quietly as they knelt by the table. It was clear that something was going on to judge from the way they looked. His finely tuned instincts were screaming at him as he watched them talk. He wasn't sure what it was they were talking about, but he didn't think it was about Happosai or the meeting they were going to have with the old master in a few minutes.
Michiru looked more relaxed than he had seen her since her arrival. Nodoka on the other hand looked a bit flustered and perhaps more than a bit nervous.
"Nodoka's still beautiful, and her daughter the same," Katsuhito noted absently as he padded toward them.
The Shrine Priest fought the urge to slap himself on the forehead as he considered his thoughts. Nodoka was just a child to him, of course most full-blooded earthlings were. Not only that she was the same age as his daughter Achika. Still, he had to admit that she was an amazing woman, and one that had been alone for nearly as long a time as he had.
"Dammit, I'm old enough to be her father," Katsuhito forcefully reminded himself, "and she knows it too. After all this was nearly her second home when she was a child. She and Achika were the best friends and nearly inseparable until her untimely death. Somehow the words didn't bring the peace of mind that he was searching for. Katsuhito decided he'd better get down to business before his mind teased him with more impossibilities.
"Am I interrupting anything?" Masaki Katsuhito asked as he made his way toward the two softly conversing women.
"Nothing of importance Sensei," Michiru answered for the both of them. "Did Washu-chan say how much longer it would be before Happosai was going to be up and around?"
Katsuhito didn't miss the looks he received from the women in front of him. Michiru was looking at him with an expression more suited to a cat considering a mouse than the respectful gaze of a student to her honored sensei. Nodoka on the other hand was blushing and looking anywhere other than at him, suddenly finding something of great interest on the floor near her feet.
Feeling much like the mouse he had just thought of, Katsuhito answered the question, and quickly followed it with questions of his own about how the meeting with Happosai was going to be conducted.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"So Happosai, are you ready to sign my license?" Ranma asked, her voice sweet, and sugary enough to make a dentist's eyes fill up with yen signs. The dulcet tones hardened as she continued. "Or do you have so little honor that you are going to welsh on our bargain?"
Happosai groaned as he looked around at the implacable eyes of Ranma's companions. Nodoka said nothing, but the gleam in her eye and the way she caressed the katana at her side, told the old letch that she would like nothing more than to puree him if he gave her son any problems. Happosai wasn't sure where she obtained the weapon, as it was clearly not the Saotome honor sword. Yes indeed, it was easy to see that there was much more going on here than met the unobservant eye.
"Nodoka, I see that you no longer carry the Saotome sword," Happosai's opening gambit was to lead with a question.
"No, and I shall never bear it again. I have divorced Genma and have joined House Masaki," Nodoka answered shortly.
Happosai schooled his features to impassivity. This was a surprise. She had put up with that idiot Genma for nearly twenty years. What had happened to cause the break? Was it something to do with Ranma? Given her adherence to duty it nearly had to be, but what? What had happened to the boy over the last three months?
"I see," he answered shortly.
"And why is your presence needed here?" Happosai stopped filling his pipe to point the stem at Masaki Katsuhito.
The Shrine Priest was more restrained, his face giving nothing away. However Happosai wasn't deceived. He hadn't been around for three hundred years for nothing. Masaki Katsuhito was no one to fool around with. Happosai thought he could take the sword-master even with his ki reserves nearly depleted . . . if he got the first strike in. A fair fight was another matter. Even fully healed he wasn't sure if he could take the priest, and right now the smart money would be on the other in any confrontation. That didn't even take into consideration Ranma . . . him . . . or was that herself?
"As one of the judges I am here to see that the terms of the wager are adhered to," Katsuhito answered firmly. "I am sure that my presence will be unnecessary as honor demands that you do as you promised."
Happosai frowned as he took a moment to light his pipe in an effort to buy more time to figure out what was going on. Something wasn't quite right here and he knew it. Ranma normally stayed in his cursed form as little as possible, changing back into a boy with the nearest available hot water. Yet here today he had not only started out in "girl-form" but was even now still in it, and apparently by choice as there was a pot of tea sitting right in front of her even now. Not only was he in girl form but Nodoka was saying nothing about it. Once she had discovered that Ranko and Ranma were one and the same she was usually among the first to offer him hot water to change back into her son.
The old martial artist cursed his aching head as he pulled on his ki reserves for healing. It would appear that whoever had treated their wounds after the fight had completely healed Ranma, but had not done the same for him. He wasn't sure what exactly had gone on, the last thing he remembered before waking on the Masaki's couch was a blow to his head. Combined with the abuse that he had taken during the fight it was no wonder he felt like something that not even a cat would drag in. Yet Ranma appeared to be completely healed. Happosai knew of several techniques that would allow such rapid healing, but it took a master healer to perform them, not even he could do so easily.
True he healed incredibly fast, but not that fast. To heal faster than he was already doing he needed ki and right now he was tapped out, empty, drained. It would have helped if he could cop a feel on one of the ladies present, or even better do so and liberate some silky darlings . . . but he couldn't. One of the conditions he had agreed to before the fight was to leave Ranma and his friends alone, and that obviously included the girls here at the shrine. Even if it hadn't Happosai wasn't sure he would have tried given his weakened condition . . . and the amazingly powerful aura's he could sense from all of those in the Masaki household.
"Boy," Happosai began, "I gave my word and despite what you think of me I keep my word," he frowned at the somewhat disbelieving looks that Ranma and Nodoka shot his way.
"Give the devil his due boy. Name one time I gave my word and then backed out on it."
Happosai watched carefully as Ranma considered his words. The nod of affirmation he received was grudgingly given, but given nonetheless.
"That's true old man. You might be a pervert. You might twist your words in ways that Nabiki only dreamed of, but once you actually give your word you carry it though . . . at least in a manner of speaking." Ranma admitted. "You just usually set terms and conditions that are next to impossible to meet."
A wry grin broke across Ranma's face. "You promised Taro that you'd change his name, but always conditioned it on defeating me . . . and he never did, or at least never well enough to do everything you asked him to do."
"Quite right my boy." Happosai answered smugly.
Then with a grudging tone of his own the Grandmaster of Anything Goes continued. "I was surprised that you covered the loopholes as well as you did before the match."
"I tried Happosai. Now are you going to sign or not?"
"Are you sure you don't want me to teach you the true secrets of Anything Goes. I have techniques and moves that none of my other students were ever shown." Happosai avoided a direct answer as he asked a question of his own, a question he both anticipated and dreaded the answer to.
Even as he spoke Happosai studied his opponents. There might not be a physical confrontation looming, but the perverted martial arts master wasn't going to give up on his heir so easily. He hadn't taken the time prior to the match to really take a good look at the witnesses or observers. Happosai shook his head, he hated to admit it but he had been way to cocky and sure of himself to do so before. He had been positive that even a prodigy like Ranma couldn't learn enough in the three short months he was gone to beat him in a fight. Yet somehow he had.
"I would like to learn them it is true," Ranma answered, "But only on my terms and conditions. The terms and conditions that I stated before our little duel."
Once more Happosai shook his head. There was definitely something amiss. Ranma was never this sharp. Sure he had potential. Happosai had known all along that Ranma wasn't the stupid jock that he appeared to be. But until now all that potential was just that . . . potential. Ranma had been woefully ignorant of anything outside of martial arts. Yet now he was speaking like an advanced juku student. What was even stranger was that he was using proper feminine speech patterns. What had happened to the boy over the last three months? Something wasn't adding up and Happosai wanted to know why.
"But Ranma," Happosai whined, "Why begrudge your old grandfather a few pleasures in his old age?"
"It's not going to work old man. You either abide by the terms of the bet or you disappear and leave me the Hell alone," Ranma flared, her eyes turning flint hard and as cold as glacial ice.
"Don't get your panties in a knot boy. I already said I'd keep by end of the bargain."
"Just so Master Happosai," Katsuhito broke his silence. "I have the certificate right here for you to sign."
Wordlessly Happosai took the proffered document and looked it over. The ancient master felt his eyebrows rise involuntarily as he looked it over.
"What's going on here boy? This says that I'm licensing a girl by the name of Kaiou Michiru."
"You are," Ranma replied evenly, a small cold smile adorning her face.
"But . . . but a girl? You are going to stay a girl?"
Happosai couldn't have been more surprised than if he had seen Saotome Genma pass up a free meal. What in the world was going on with the boy? There were only four constants in the train wreck that Ranma called his life. The first was that his father was an ass who would take advantage of him at every opportunity. The second was Ranma's ability to attract women without even trying. The third was Ranma's never say die and never accept defeat attitude. The fourth and most definite was that Ranma would never . . . ever accept his curse. After all even Genma occasionally missed an opportunity to sell out his son, and once every blue moon there would be a woman who had absolutely no interest in the boy . . . or at least one who never expressed an interest in him. But to accept the curse?!! Once again Happosai wondered just what the HELL had happened to Ranma over the last three months.
Taking a closer look at his heir Happosai did a deep ki scan and nearly fell from his chair. RANMA'S KI WAS THAT OF A WOMAN! Not a trace of male ki showed anywhere in HER aura.
"Something wrong Happosai?" Ranma (or was that Michiru) questioned softly and not without traces of malice in her sugary tones.
"What have you done Ranma?" Happosai sputtered. "Your ki, its . . . its . . . "he trailed off.
"Female?" Ranma questioned meeting his eyes with an ever so innocent look in her sparkling blue eyes.
"Ye . . . yes," Happosai managed after a few moments of stunned disbelief.
"It's simple," Ranma paused for effect, mischief shining clearly in her pixyish face. "I locked the curse."
Ranma shrugged a moment before continuing. "It seemed the only way out. I couldn't satisfy everyone's honor while I was still Ranma. The curse wasn't going to be cured, and I had to take control of my life. I was tired of being at the mercy of water."
Ranma took a sip of her now cold tea. "I was a freak, and changing sex at the drop of a glass or when it decided to rain was Hell. It's better this way, at least I'm in control."
"But . . . but,"
"It was my choice and mine alone."
"Even that wouldn't explain how your ki changed so rapidly."
"That's on a need to know basis and right now you don't need to know old man," Ranma replied nonchalantly, yet with the hint of steel in her soft tones.
Happosai frowned, then turned his attention back to the teaching certificate in front of him. With a flourish he signed his name, stamped it with his mark and handed the document back to Masaki Katsuhito.
"There it's done,"
Turning toward his former student and still hoped for heir the Grandmaster of Anything Goes continued. "Ran . . . Michiru, I would still like for you to be the heir to the school. If I agree to your terms would you be willing to accept the position of heir to the complete school of Anything Goes?"
Happosai waited anxiously for his student's response. He had a lot riding on this. In all his three hundred years he had never had a student like . . . Michiru. Genma and Soun had potential, potential they squandered like kids blowing their allowance on candy or video games, but even their potential was dwarfed by that of the young . . . girl . . . sitting in front of her.
"It'll be a cold . . . "Michiru started to speak then paused her sapphire eyes boring into the anxious old eyes of the Grandmaster. "I will consider it. If you can keep your word I would like to do so," she finally answered.
Happosai let out the breath that he didn't even realize he was holding.
"Michiru, I give you my word as a martial artist. I won't say that I might not lapse on occasion . . . "Seeing the anger flaring in her, ever so expressive, blue eyes he hastened to continue. "But I promise this. If I do falter I will apologize . . . and I will make amends."
"In that case Happosai we will see," Ranma, no Michiru answered, then her tone hardened once again. "But if you bother my friends or family . . . "she let her voice trail off, the threat as obvious as a bull in a china shop even if it were unspoken.
"Will you be at the Tendos if I want to get in touch with you."
Happosai nodded. "If I am not there Kasumi will be able to pass along the message. But how are you going to handle Genma and Soun?"
"I've got a plan for that," the red haired girl answered softly and with eerie finality.
"Well my bo . . . girl," Happosai corrected himself. "I'll be off. I hope to hear from you soon."
The others only nodded and watched as the diminutive old pervert bounded off.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ranma looked at the scroll she held in her hand. So much had been ventured in the attempt to get this scroll. Has she been foolish? Was this little piece of paper, even with what it represented worth the risk . . . was it worth possibly losing her family? It had been a gamble and only time would tell whether she had beat the house or gone bust.
"Michiru are you sure you want to talk to Ryouga today as well?"
Ranma's musings were interrupted by her mama's voice.
"Hai . . . yes mama I'm sure,"
"Why did you have Washu-chan heal him completely when you didn't have her do the same for Happosai?"
Nodoka faltered as she looked into her daughters frozen orbs. The ferocity, the anger contained therein was tightly leashed, but present all the same.
"I don't want him to have any excuses when we settle this," Ranma's voice was soft, but her companions could literally feel the chill in the air as she spoke. "This is going to be his last chance. No one hurts my family," the last words were literally hissed and so cold they could cut.
"No one hurts my family," Ranma repeated. "Let us go "converse" with Ryouga."
A/N – a couple of reviews have made it clear that some people are confused as to why Happosai didn't know about the changes --- I can see why from the hints in prior chapters – without giving away (hopefully) any future info -- - rest assured it wasn't a mistake – let's just say it this way --- what Happosai didn't know he was missing he couldn't miss --- and the arranged duel was after Ranma lost one prior to his disappearance – in some ways this story is a result of Plan A (beating Happosai) not working
12. Old Friends or Are They
See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer
**A/N – Major computer problems lead to this short chapter. Now updated and cleaned up a bit. More A/N afterwards so as not to spoil anything. Yes I did lose 10 pages including the Ryouga fight, Pluto talking to Pluto and the revealing of Ranma's plan to break with Nerima and let the others retain some of their honor. Will try to work on it, but since I'm having trouble with my various computer's saving to floppy it may take a while as I can only save to HD when at home.**
**Now FFN won't let me replace Ch. 12 with this edited version - this is attempt #5 to do so. It's also cutting off words and removing my space-breaks.**
Forever the Tomboy Ch. 12 -
Talking Things Over
"When will he be finished healing Washu-chan?" Ranma asked her companion softly.
"If you guys healed at the normal human pace I would say not until tomorrow, late tomorrow, " Washu answered, her eyes flickering from the holographic computer screen to the other red-haired occupant of her lab. "However, if he heals at anything like the same rate that you did I would say that he'll be finished healing in an hour or two.
Washu paused before continuing. "You were hurt quite a bit more than he was. You had several broken bones, in addition to a lot of beating and bruising, all he is suffering from is a severe depletion of his life force."
"I see," Ranma answered, absently stroking the crystal tube that held her long time rival and one-time friend. "Good, he and I are going to "talk" once he gets out."
Despite her long years of life, and the fact that those long years had let her observe many things, Washu shivered at the cold, impersonal tone of the words.
"I see …" Washu answered, though the statement didn't really call for an answer. "Should I keep the regeneration tube ready for him?" Washu tried to keep her voice light and carefree but was only partially successful.
Washu watched as Michiru nodded absently, still studying the boy held within. Though the younger woman's gaze was steady, indeed almost implacable, Washu wasn't sure just what the girl was actually seeing. She might be seeing the boy she was going to face very soon, but it appeared more likely that Michiru's thoughts were elsewhere. Michiru's pretty face was pulled into a light frown, an expression that made her look unbearably cute … or would have if it were not for the hard icy expression conveyed by her clear blue eyes.
Ranma was indeed lost in her thought. "Why now?" she asked herself. Why did the baka have to show up now? One day, I only had to be "Ranma" for one lousy day and _he_ had to show up."
With a sigh she considered her options. The lost boy presented a problem, one she had hoped to avoid dealing with. There was no doubt that Ryouga's knowledge that Ranma was around was a threat to her new life, and if there was one thing she had learned during her new lives it was that problems ignored didn't go away. No, they usually took the time offered and grew into even larger problems later sinking their roots even deeper into the soil. Sometimes she wondered if Kami-sama enjoyed making her life hell. If she had known Ryouga was coming she'd have been more prepared.
Ranma knew that things were coming to a head and she also knew with the awful certainty of near despair that her life was going to change as a result. The question before her now was whether the changes would be good ones, or if the life she had grown to love was over.
One thing she knew, if her life as Michiru was over, she was going to make the one responsible pay … and pay dearly.
One by one Ranma considered her options on how to deal with the "Lost Boy," … and while each had merit there were also disadvantages to each as well. The disadvantages mainly dealt with how her family would respond if and/or when they discovered her actions. _If only_ Ryouga hadn't come, _if only_ he hadn't seen her … or if he hadn't recognized her.
Ranma's eyes narrowed as she considered another option. She wasn't really prepared to carry it out right now, but she could be. All that it would take was a little time, and time was something she had … or could have plenty of. There were risks involved of course, potentially major risks, but the payoff would be well worth it. Ryouga's mere presence required her to deal with him before she was ready. To do nothing was to allow the pig to ruin the plans she had so carefully made to deal with the remnants of her old life as Ranma. Plans that might allow the others to escape that bonds of honor that had once squeezed her until she couldn't breath … couldn't _live. _That couldn't …no _wasn't _going to be allowed.
Washu watched as her companion considered her options, and caught the subtle shifting of expression that indicated a decision had been made. What that decision was she didn't know, but would undoubtedly find out after the boy was realeased.
To most the mask that Michiru habitually wore would have been perfect. Her face revealed little, very little of what lurked underneath. Washu however wasn't "most people." No the self-proclaimed "Greatest Scientist in the Universe" was far from the usual watcher. She hadn't lived thousands of years without being able to read people. It was a gift, not one that she used all that often, but one that she possessed none-the-less. Right now that "gift" was telling her that Michiru was up to _something_, that the girl had come to a decision, Washu only hoped that it was one that the girl could live with.
"Washu, if its going to be a while before he's done why don't we go rescue my daughter from her grandmother," Ranma stated with the beginnings of a true smile lighting up her face.
"She may need saving," Washu agreed. "I've never seen someone quite so "taken" with a grandchild as your mother. Once she grabbed on I wasn't sure that she was going to quit hugging Hotaru until the poor girl started turning blue."
Washu literally giggled as she compared the "glomping" styles of Nodoka and Misaki. One thing was sure… both were experts at their craft as the ribs of their victims could well attest.
Ranma giggled as well, allowing the relief and joy that Nodoka's reaction to Hotaru had created to momentarily displace her worries. Ranma had _known_ that her mama would love Hotaru, but knowing in your mind and seeing with you eyes were two completely different things. Nodoka's reaction to finally meeting Hotaru had been all that she had hoped for and more. Ranma's giggles morphed into full-blown laughter she recalled just how overwhelmed poor Hotaru had been at the tsunami of love that had washed over and completely enveloped the girl. It seemed as if Nodoka's only goal right now was to make up for the two years of Hotaru's life that she had missed out on … and she had literally dragged the poor girl off so that she could "get to know her granddaughter."
The pair of redheads giggled once more before leaving the lab for the comforts of the Masaki living room.
"Finally," Ranma breathed with more than a little relief.
She was enjoying the time she was spending with Ten-chan and his new "family". She definitely loved seeing Sensei Masaki again as well, but she had things to do. They spent much of the afternoon talking and getting to know one another again, and getting to know the "girls" for the first time. It had been wonderful. She had to stifle a giggle as she remembered the teasing she had subjected Tenchi and "his girls" to. Ranma couldn't remember the last time she had been able to be so open with anyone other than her "family". True she was able to have fun with Kasumi and Nabiki too, but in the last two years those occasions had been as rare as Nabiki giving away free information …it happened, but not often). It had been just to much of a risk to visit them after Ranma had returned from China the "first time" and the circus in Nerima had gone into full swing.
True some topics were still not up for discussion that afternoon. The Masaki's weren't yet ready to talk about Funaho for one, but even there Ranma could tell the others were not so much trying to hide something as they were trying to decide when and how to let Michiru and Nodoka in on the "secret".
Both of the former Saotomes had their suspicions, as to what the secret actually was, after all they were both Masters at reading ki. But both were too polite to push the matter … at least for now. Ranma had to choke back a giggle at that thought. Polite was one term that many wouldn't ever think would apply to "him".
She hadn't been able to get any time alone until after dinner though "dinner" was hardly an adequate term to describe the feast that little Sasami had prepared. Ranma shook her head as she recalled the spread Sasami had laid before them. Ranma knew that she was an excellent chef, but the blue-tressed girl with twin ponytails had put even her best efforts to shame. Still, the large meal had provided her with an excuse to be alone. She had simply stated that she was going for a walk to work off the meal. It hadn't been easy to turn down Hotaru's offer to go with her, nor that of her mother, but she had simply told both that she needed some time to think. Thankfully both understood, (Nodoka perhaps a bit more than Hotaru) and neither pushed the issue.
It was clear that her daughter really wanted to talk more about the revelation of her "manhood" and equally certain that her daughter only accepted the information grudgingly and with much trepidation. Probably the most telling reason for her acceptance was that it was Washu who had forced the truth from her, and her obvious reluctance to admit that truth. Well that and she was familiar with the Starlights, so the idea wasn't quite completely foreign to her, though the circumstances here were actually quite different.
Finally alone, and sighing with relief and a bit of fear Ranma reached into "stuff space" and pulled out an old and somewhat battered mirror. Smiling nervously, Ranma noted that there was no sign that the mirror had ever been broken. During the long years that she had possessed the Nanban Mirror it had "healed" itself and was once again whole. Ranma supposed it was part of the mirror's original array of spells. After all mirrors were fragile things and in order for it to survive the millennia as it had, a self-repair enchantment only made sense.
Ranma eyed the mirror with a mix of affection and apprehension. Despite how long she had possessed it, it didn't "feel" like it was hers, at least not like the Neptune Mirror did anyway. When she used the Neptune Mirror she felt … complete, the same was definitely NOT true of the Nanban Mirror.
Every time she used the Nanban Mirror it was with cautious respect, handling it gave her the shivers, it was a feeling akin to handling a poisonous snake … pretty safe when care was taken, but with the element of danger ever-present. All it would take to spell ruin was a single mistake, a single moment of carelessness.
The feeling of trepidation was even more pronounced after she had discovered her "true" self, discovered that she was a Senshi. Setsuna … or rather Sailor Pluto, had hammered it into all their heads (every chance she got, Michiru admitted wryly) that time was nothing to fool around with. Ranma was just thankful that even before Pluto's rather emphatic teachings were delivered she had already made her own decision regarding the mirror and it's use. Despite a temptation that had been nearly overwhelming, she had been smart enough to avoid interfering with "Ranma's" past, and had instead simply "added" to it. Nearly as difficult was the decision to limit her time travel. It had been so tempting to use it to meet the Masters of Legend. As much as she loved and respected Sensei Masaki, the temptation to meet the Battousai and perhaps learn from him had been nearly irresistible … but only nearly.
The mirror had been his "death" and her salvation, but it was not a toy and definitely not something to use lightly. Even now she took a moment to consider her options. Resting her back against Funaho's broad trunk she relaxed and thought about her plan to deal with
chan.
Ranma relaxed under the broad branched of the tree. For some reason she had always felt comfortable … had felt acceptance and love under the Masaki Shrines Holy Tree. The tree was like an old friend. Sometimes she even imagined she "felt" love from the tree and could swear that she almost "heard" it talking to her, and her dreams when she occasionally napped here would make a great sci-fi movie.
Ranma's eyes snapped open as a snippet of dream arose from the depths of her memory … she had a dream of the Masaki Demon … and the demon looked just like Ryoko. Cataloging the information, … if her memory of a dream could be trusted, Ranma pushed it to the back of her mind. While her tenure as a Senshi had made her realize that dreams were often important, she had other fish to fry right now. That mysteries of Ryoko and Funaho would just have to wait.
Sighing, Ranma took the brief moment of peace to think though her plan again. A few moments later she breathed out a soft echo of the first sigh. The idea that had come to her in Washu's lab still seemed like her best option. She hoped she wouldn't have to go through with it. Even though it was probably the best way to prevent Ryouga from ruining everything she had worked so hard to achieve she was still troubled by her plan. It didn't seem right to play with some-ones identity that way … but it DID seem like the best option under the circumstances.
Thinking about what she would lose if Ryouga revealed what he had seen today she allowed a single tear to drip onto the mirror's reflective surface and with that tear and a thought she was gone.
"What the HELL!" a startled Washu yelped as alarms rang throughout her lab their strident warning notes breaking though her reverie.
The scientist had been reviewing the data she had on their three guests … and their two prisoners. It was fascinating to say the least. Nodoka and Michiru radiated power like a blast furnace … or perhaps a better analogy would be like a fusion reactor. In terms of raw power they couldn't hold a candle to the Lighthawk Wings, but even so Ranma was Yosho's equal, and would likely surpass him sometime soon … and her control over her power was nothing short of amazing. Washu wasn't sure just how much of a boost a Senshi transformation would provide, but the little genius hoped she would find out. Nodoka's power was considerably less, but still the woman held more raw power than most Jurians, even those of noble blood.
What was truly interesting was that their energy was a mix of Jurian energy and some unknown type. It seemed that Nodoka and Michiru were nearly of "pure" Jurian blood, or at least the readings indicated such. The odds of that happening with the limited number of colonists and emigrants to Earth were slim, yet it had happened.
Washu suspected that the Jurian survivors from the Moon Kingdom's fall must have entered into agreements among their clans to intermarry regularly. Undoubtedly the reason for the close alliances of the clans had been long lost, but the ties apparently survived. There was just enough Terran blood to "kick" up their power, much like Tenchi's human DNA seemed to enhance his Jurian blood.
Snarling, Washu tore her attention away from the data on her holo-screen and glared at the nearest alarm. She had the darn things nearly everywhere as she could seldom predict just where in the cavernous lab she would be when she needed to be alerted to a possible problem or interesting phenomena . Right now she was regretting her thoroughness as the sound was nearly deafening. Quickly Washu cut off the alarms then turned back to her keyboard.
Fingers flew as she typed in a query, the display shifting from a split screen review of Michiru's fight with Happosai taking up one side while an analysis program displayed the numeric data on the right. She instead shifted her attention to a display of the sensor readings that caused the alarms to sound. Fingers flashed across non-existent (or at least non-physical) keys as she made the change.
"A temporal rift originating at Funaho's lake? I wonder …." Washu mused, "I hope it's not more trouble."
A different set of commands were entered and her computer soon displayed and played back the events that caused the alarm in the first place. Her green eyes lit with curiosity as she watched Michiru pull a mirror from what appeared to be a self-generated sub-space pocket (much like the one's she used), pause to study the mirror intently for a few moments, then disappear in a flash of blue light.
Before the diminutive genius could do more than begin her analysis, the alarms howled again. Acting on intuition as much as on scientific analysis, Washu opened her surveillance net once again. She only nodded as the camera's displayed what her intuition told her they would … another bright flash and then Michiru was standing under Funaho's broad branches, a smug look of satisfaction momentarily crossing the girl's pixyish features.
"Well," she purred, "I guess that answers a few of my questions."
Washu suddenly grinned, as an expression all to familiar and somewhat horrifying to her family and friends spread across her cute face. She had a problem to solve, an enigma to unravel … and she couldn't be happier.
"When do you think he will wake up Nodoka-san?" Hotaru asked her older companion, her voice a strange combination of boredom and nervousness. She stood once again in a sunlit meadow, though this time the sun was sinking toward the western horizon. This time she stood openly, not skulking in the bushes trying to peek out at the events taking place. The meadow was also much less crowded this time, only Sensei Masaki, Nodoka, Michiru-mama and the boy Ryouga were here with her.
"Now Hotaru-chan, what did I tell you to call me?" the former Saotome Nodoka and soon to be Masaki Nodoka asked with a chiding tone, though her eyes belied her tone. The elder woman's eyes were filled with warmth and affection as she looked down at her newly discovered granddaughter.
Hotaru blushed, then her expression blossomed into an ear to ear grin. The expression lighting up her normally somber face like the sun breaking though a dark thundercloud.
"Sorry …Grandmother," though the words were still too new to come easily, Hotaru was thrilled to be able to say them. She could literally feel the love radiating from Nodoka and basked in it, nearly purring her satisfaction much like a kitten being held in a warm lap. Despite the newness of the endearment she knew that soon it would feel natural to call the older woman her grandmother. "I still can't believe that you are Michiru-mama … I mean Ranma's mother." A note of disbelief still tingeing her soft tones.
"Dear, she's Michiru now and has been for many, many years. I don't think she would ever go back to being Ranma, even if it were possible."
"What do you mean Grandmother?"
Nodoka sighed, "When she was Ranma her life wasn't easy. In fact most people would probably consider his life to be Hell on Earth. Much of what _he_ went through would be considered child abuse at best, many would call it torture."
Hotaru paled at her Grandmother's words. Her mama had promised to tell her the full story tomorrow when they got home. Michiru-mama had given her word to finally let go of the secrets that she had held for so long and to _finally_ reveal the truth about her past. Given how fearless her mama normally was this grudging promise made Hotaru feel more than a little afraid of just what she was going to hear.
Hotaru wasn't a stupid child by any stretch of the imagination and she knew that something bad had to have happened to make her mama leave her old life behind. Her mama wasn't a quitter, she never gave up even in the most dire of circumstances. Yet this time in many ways she had done just that. Not only had Michiru run from her past, she had abandoned her birth gender in a last ditch attempt to have a happier life.
A shudder ran up and down Hotaru's spine as she tried to imagine a life so messed up, so unhappy that such a drastic step would not only be considered, but actually carried out in a final desperate bid for happiness. She knew that as bad as her life had been until her "rebirth" and as many problems as she faced even now, the idea of becoming a boy to escape them was … well scary. The purple-eyed girl wasn't sure that she really wanted to know what really happened, but she also knew that her mama needed to let it go.
She had never seen her mama break down like she had in Washu's lab. Michiru was always the strong one, the one that held the Outers together with her quiet determination to see things through, with the love she held for them. Haruka was too emotional, to quick to anger and often acted without thinking her actions through. Setsuna thought things through, but she often had trouble dealing with her emotions. Michiru-mama on the other hand gave her heart and soul to her friends. Hotaru knew … knew with all her being that Michiru loved them, Haruka completed her soul, Setsuna was her closest friend, and Hotaru her daughter in all the ways that counted, even if not by blood.
True Michiru wasn't all that expressive in public, but in private she allowed her heart to show and to shine. At home she was not afraid to let her family see just how much she loved them. Everything her mama did showed that love, from the way she cooked and cleaned, to the way she always seemed to know when one of her family was upset or troubled … and even more importantly when she saw a problem she threw everything she had into finding a solution. To see her mama so … scared had literally terrified the young girl.
To be truthful, the revelation that her mama had been a boy had shocked her. In the hours since that revelation Hotaru had tried to imagine what it would be like to be a boy, but she just couldn't grasp the idea in any real way. Somehow she just couldn't quite comprehend the idea of willingly giving up her identity like that. Hotaru suspected that even now she didn't really have a good handle on the idea. Yeah, she had heard the confession, and with the rational part of her mind believed it to be true, but her heart said differently, her heart saw her Mama, not a boy … not Ranma.
Hotaru loved her mama deeply, and didn't want to lose her, wouldn't allow herself to even really consider losing her … but would Haruka-papa share that opinion? It was only the fear in her mama's eyes when she had told the secret that really allowed her to believe what she had been told.
Well that, and the madness that was her own life. After all who would have believed that anyone could be killed, then reborn as a baby only to "age" to her proper appearance and memories within a short few years. That too was unbelievable… unless you had lived through it as she had.
Shaking her head, Hotaru returned her attention to the older woman.
"A yen for your thought child," Nodoka teased.
Hotaru could literally hear the pleasure and enjoyment in her new Grandmother's voice.
It was clear that Nodoka was sure that Michiru was her "son" Ranma, and the older woman had definitely taken to the idea of finally becoming a Grandmother, even if it was to a teenager that she had just met. Hotaru's small frame still felt the effects of Nodoka's "Usagi-glomp" when Michiru had introduced her to the older woman. Hotaru shook her head, it was a toss up as to which of the two had the more energetic hug, and she pitied the person who would have to experience both to decide.
It was clear that Nodoka (and this being despite the fact she had just met Hotaru) felt as if she had known her Granddaughter for years. Michiru had apparently been more than willing to talk of her family, even if she hadn't been willing to risk introducing them to Nodoka.
"I don't know if I really want to know what happened to mama," Hotaru whispered. "It had to be awful."
The violet-eyed girl felt herself being pulled into a warm comforting hug. She sighed and reveled in the feeling of safety that being held by Nodoka brought. Up until now she had only felt this way with her mama. She loved Haruka, but papa wasn't as good at handling "girly" situations as her mama was. Hotaru giggled as she looked at things in the light of her newfound knowledge. It was strange really, her mama had been a boy and was more comfortable dealing with "girl talk" and female emotions than her papa … who had always been a girl.
Nodoka heard the giggle and gently tightened her arms around the young girl taking the opportunity to both give and receive comfort from the contact. It was good to hear her laugh. Michiru had always complained that the girl was to solemn, to used to being considered _different_ to really embrace her life. Nodoka knew that she was going to _enjoy _having her for a granddaughter.
"Don't worry dear. I have faith that everything will turn out all right. My daughter is a strong woman and she loves you very much. With your help and that of your Haruka-papa and Setsuna-mama she'll be fine." The words "I hope" were not spoken by either, but both heard them none-the-less.
"I hope so Grandmother. I'm scared though. What if Haruka-papa gets mad? She tends to talk first and think about what she said afterwards. What if she…." Once again her voice broke as she considered for the first time, the possibility that her family might break apart.
"Don't be frightened Hotaru. Michiru has talked about her family a lot, and she loves you all very much."
"I know that Grandmother. But Haruka-papa doesn't like boys. What if …"
This time Hotaru wasn't allowed to finish her sentence before she was interrupted.
"Don't worry about what may never happen. If she loves Michiru she'll forgive her. It may take some time, but with your help things will work out. We need to be strong and let Michiru know just how much and how well she is loved."
Hotaru took comfort from the older woman's words and her loving presence. But even so, she could hear the underlying uncertainty in Nodoka's voice.
"Those are wise words Nodoka," a gentle male voice interrupted the Hallmark moment as the third person watching the sunlit meadow (and the two figures waiting there) spoke for the first time. "I have faith in Michiru and in her judgment. If she has chosen to love and trust Haruka then Haruka is worthy. Besides …", Katsuhito shrugged, "Michiru is a fighter and she will not give up her family easily."
With a gentle smile he continued, "And with your help and Hotaru-chan's how can she fail?"
Once again Hotaru literally felt the love she was being offered. She had just met Katsuhito-sensei, but could tell that he knew her mama well, and he seemed to love her as if she were his own granddaughter.
Hotaru was still far from certain as to what tomorrow would bring, but she was wise enough to know that Masaki-sensei was right. There was nothing that she could do right now except to support her mama and hope, worrying would be worse than useless, draining her energy and changing nothing.
Still enveloped in her new Grandmother's arms, she turned her attention back to the clearing. There her mama knelt, patiently waiting for Ryouga to wake, her aura shimmering now and then into visibility, surrounding her with an icy blue field.
Hotaru shook her head at the sight. Only yesterday she had believed her mama barely held a dan rating in Kempo, now she knew her mama was a world class swordswoman and a grandmaster (in all but name) of one of the deadliest unarmed styles in the world. She just hoped that Haruka-papa could handle this information on top of everything else. Hotaru knew how proud Haruka was of her fighting skill, how she loved being the best fighter and strongest (physically at least) of the Senshi. Her papa took literally reveled in her status as the most dangerous fighter the Senshi had … a title that she clearly held no longer.
Before she could ponder the matter further the peaceful evening air was shattered by a hate-filled cry.
"Ranma you bastard what have you done to me?"
Ryouga's angry accusation broke the peaceful silence that had covered the glen just moments before.
To say that he was pissed off would be to say the ocean was wet. The statement would be true but it would also be so much of a vast understatement as to be ludicrous. The lost boy glared daggers at his sometimes rival sometimes enemy as he struggled to move … but to his utter disbelief not a muscle twitched at his command. His anger grew as he realized he wasn't tied nor bound by anything except by the unresponsive shackles of his own flesh.
Ryouga's hatred was nearly palpable as he stared through the red haze of his anger, then he too was surrounded by an aura of ki. Ryouga's aura wasn't the cold confident blue of his hated foe, nor was it the usual putrid green of his ever-present depression. No, his aura was a blazing inferno of crimson, like unto the aura Tendo Akane manifested on so many occasions. The heat of his anger … and his ki so intense that it blackened and burnt the grass upon which he sat.
Not six feet away was the cause of all his problems … and the cause of Tendo Akane's pain. The lost boy's feelings of anger and frustration only multiplied as he looked at the calm countenance of one Saotome Ranma.
Anger wasn't the only emotion that he was feeling, though (as evidenced by his crimson aura) it predominated. Ryouga was also confused. The last thing he remembered was being hit by his own trademark attack, the perfected version no less. Then he felt overwhelming pain and finally the darkness of unconsciousness. Yet now he felt fine, at least in body, even though he couldn't move. Indeed he felt completely re-energized as if he was fully healed and his ki reserves restored to their maximum capacity.
That didn't make sense though. The scars of battle so abundant in the small glen were fresh. The grass ringing the outer edges of the impact sites of Ranma and Happosai's ki blasts was still wilted, nor were the other signs of conflict blurred by the passing of time and the elements. The sun was another give away as it shown brightly in the evening sky. Its position indicated that only a few hours had passed. Despite how good he felt he couldn't move, and his lack of control over his own body only added to the flames of his anger, enraging him even more than the defeat he had suffered at Ranma's hands.
"What the hell have you done to me?" Ryouga demanded with an angry snarl, waiting impatiently for Ranma to answer his question
Ryouga watched as Ranma turned slightly to face him. The lost boy stared into the piercing blue eyes of his greatest foe. Ranma was in his girl form and kneeling down as if he had been waiting patiently for him to wake up. Despite his own anger Ryouga quailed as he saw the implacable, ice-cold anger in his foes eyes. Ryouga had seen and fought Ranma many times… but he had only seen such a fire in Ranma's eyes once before… and then Ranma had killed (at least for a moment) his enemy. But then he was not the target …then he hadn't tried to face Ranma's anger, that had been Saffron's burden.
Normally Ranma fought with a certain joy that couldn't be hidden, even during their toughest fights Ryouga had never really been afraid of his foe … cautious, aware of Ranma's power yes, but never afraid. Even as the fear touched Ryouga with it's cold tendrils, the lost boy fought it off, his own emotions so overwhelming that even the touch of fear was banished … at least for now. He ignored the warning signs as best he could. The only time that he had seen such focused anger was when Ranma had fought Saffron
It took all of his effort, all of his rage not to flinch as Ranma continued to stare at him with those cold cold eyes and a face that, despite it's beauty, looked like it had been carved from glacial ice.
"Shut up Ryouga." Ranma heard her voice as if it came from a long distance away.
Ranma was deep in the Soul of Ice. Despite the technique she would feel her anger bubbling like superheated magma waiting to burst from a volcano to destroy anything that stood in it's path. She could literally feel herself crying out for revenge. The technique was the only thing keeping her from taking drastic action against her one-time friend. The bastard had hurt Hotaru, might have killed her since she wasn't transformed. If he had succeeded there wasn't a force on earth that would have stopped her from taking her revenge on the lost boy. What had the pig been thinking?
Snorting delicately Ranma looked with thinly disguised contempt at Ryouga, long experience with the other's rages told him that Ryouga probably hadn't been thinking … at least not about anything other than his own need to strike out at what he perceived to be the source of his problems … one Saotome Ranma.
Ranma reeaallly wanted to make Ryouga pay for his thoughtless actions and to remove the boy (permanently) as a potential problem, but now was not the time for anger-clouded action but a time for cool rational thought.
Ranma watched Ryouga flinch, as her expression somehow grew even colder. The old Ranma, the one that Ryouga knew would never actually kill, at least not in cold blood. The person she was now would … and that knowledge frightened her more than she wanted to admit. If her daughter had died there would be no question of as to whether she would take revenge. No, had Hotaru died Ryouga would never have had a chance to awaken. She would have struck hard and without warning. Even now the only question was what form her vengeance would take. She could kill the boy, but there were other options available that were perhaps even more cruel, and part of her wanted to carry them out … part of her wanted to hurt Ryouga as much as he had almost hurt her.
Her new lives had brought her much, but her the innocence had been the price. The naivete that Ranma had possessed in great quantity, the belief that killing was always wrong, that slights were to be immediately forgiven and forgotten, the innocent belief that everyone had some good in them, those beliefs she had lost so many years before.
Now she knew better, there were some people that weren't going to change, who would always be a danger to those around them. She did still believe in second chances … but not in sixth or seventh chances … **_not when the person was making no effort to change_**.
If Ryouga had shown any signs of remorse that would be different, but he wasn't and his berserker rages were a danger to others … and more specifically to her and her family.
She might risk letting Ryouga off if she were the only one in danger, but that wasn't the case. Even in their first fight back in Nerima Ryouga had nearly killed someone. A single inch more was all it would have taken for Ryouga's bandanna to have cut more than Akane's hair.
Yes her innocence was gone, long gone. She had killed … more than once and not just Saffron … not just creatures of the Dark Kingdom. Long before she was Michiru she had lived another life … and in that life she had been a warrior. She had learned that the shedding of blood in battle was sometimes not just necessary … but was actually the best course of action She had learned that bring death WAS acceptable under the right conditions, and the near death of her daughter was just such a reason. Ranma heard ever so clearly the siren call of revenge. It was singing loudly and with bloody glee in her ears right now.
If it were not for Hotaru's presence and the knowledge that Hotaru wouldn't want her to kill Ryouga in cold blood it is doubtful that her hand would have been stayed from the course she so wanted to take.
Instead, for her daughter's sake, (and perhaps just a bit because of the times Ryouga had aided her in the past), she was going to give him one last warning (though he'd never remember it)… one last chance to avoid the punishment that he so richly deserved. Though she wouldn't kill him there were some things that were worse than death and if this didn't work Ryouga would discover just how much she had learned. The smile that twisted her lips bore no relation to any expression of joy or happiness; instead it resembled nothing more than the snarl of a tiger going in for the kill.
Shaking her head as if to clear the dark thoughts from her mind Ranma ignored Ryouga's curses and threats and strove for calm. If she was going to succeed she needed her wits about her.
A few moments later Ranma looked up from the ground, her cold voice slashing through the torrent of profanity pouring from his lips.
"Shut up and listen you idiot. If it weren't for my daughter I'd have already dealt with you."
"D-d-daughter?" Ryouga literally stuttered as he tried to make sense of Ranma's words.
Despite her anger Ranma was hard pressed to bite back a laugh as her words sunk in. She could see his confusion. She could also see Ryouga fight back a shudder at her thinly veiled threat and the harshness in her voice.
"Yes my adopted daughter. If you had killed her …" Ranma's voice trailed off menacingly. "Let's just say you wouldn't like the results."
Ranma watched as Ryouga applied his usual logic to her words; even though he didn't speak she figured his reasoning went something like this.
Ranma was trying to blame him. Ranma was a selfish, rude self-centered brat who only thought of himself. Bringing a cute girl like her within ten miles of Happosai was just wrong … and showed that Ranma didn't really care for her. He had probably intended to use her as a distraction if Happosai started to gain the upper hand. Therefore it was Ranma's fault that Hotaru got in the way and **Ranma's **fault she accidentally got hurt.
Ryouga's face mirrored each word he heard, and reflected his thoughts as he tried to make sense of Ranma's speech. For a moment she had a glimpse of hope that Ryouga was actually thinking things through. But that hope died quickly as the momentary flash of guilt was quickly replaced by anger.
It was clear that she wasn't getting her message through as once again the lost boy heard what he wanted to hear and anything that didn't fit into his preconceived notions of how things were was ignored or discarded. She shook her head ruefully. In many ways he was worse than Kuno. Kuno at least had a history of insanity … and his long-term exposure to his sister's drugs as a reason for his aversion to reality. Ryouga had none of those, all he had was a tendency to blame others for his misfortunes and a deep hatred for Ranma. No Ryouga was pretty much to blame for his own problems.
Ranma frowned, it was clear that Ryouga wasn't listening to her. Still she would make one last attempt to reason with him. Before Ryouga regained his bearings she spoke again, her voice as serious as an undertaker.
"Ryouga. I'm locked as a girl. I _can't _marry any of the girls. Not Ukyou, not Akane and not even Shampoo (though he knew this last to be a lie, long gone were the days when she couldn't even tell a white lie)."
"L l locked?" Ryouga interrupted suspiciously. "How."
"I'm not sure," Ranma lied, "But it can't be undone. I've checked. I've even gone to an oracle who told me that I would be a girl for the rest of my life."
"Bwahahahaha," Ryouga couldn't contain spiteful laughter. "Seems you finally got what you deserve … and since you couldn't face it you ran away like the coward I always knew you were."
It took more than a little effort to keep from unloading a world of hurt on Ryouga for his obvious enjoyment of her plight, but still she managed it.
"Sure Ryouga, whatever you say," Ranma responded with icy calm. "The bottom line is that I'm not going back." This time her anger broke through as she continued. "Knowing my Pops he'd just take advantage of this to engage me to Kuno. Who knows what Nabiki would do. I don't have any desire to star in any more of her soft porn photo shoots. If you will swear not to tell anyone about this _ever_ I'll let you go."
"Dream on Ranma." Ryouga snorted. "I can't wait to drag you back to your old man and Nabiki. I'll really enjoy seeing what Akane does to you now you jerk."
"Fine," once more Ranma's voice seemed to freeze the very air between them. "I've got other options available."
Pinning Ryouga with a pinnace stare she continued, her next words stopping the lost boy in mid cackle.
"How would you like to be a pig … permanently?"
Ryouga's glee was momentarily stopped, but not for long. "Yeah right Ranma. Herb still has the Chiisuiton ladle …"
Before he could continue Ranma's cool soprano interrupted him again, "I don't need it. I know the Cat's Tongue Pressure point."
Ranma smiled slightly as Ryouga's eyes bulged at her words. Before he could recover she continued, her voice as calm as if she was discussing the weather or the latest sports scores instead of taking away another person's humanity.
"If that doesn't appeal to you how about the Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion Point? I've learned that as well."
Ryouga considered the fragile appearing girl in front of him. If Ranma wasn't bluffing that would be bad … real bad … and it certainly didn't look like Ranma was lying. He never could lie worth a damn. One of his worst nightmares was to forever locked in his
chan form. Before that thought even finished sinking in Ranma interrupted him again, this time threatening to remove his strength … possibly forever unless he could get Cologne or another Master to remove it.
The lost boy's anger … and fear grew as once again he checked to see if he could move and found himself unable to do so. The fact that he was locked completely immobile in his own body sharply underlined the possibility that Ranma could do exactly what he was threatening. Ranma had never shown this kind of knowledge before. He was an exceptional fighter true and picked up new techniques like a sponge picked up water, but a shiatsu master he was not. For the first time Ryouga wondered what Ranma had been up to during the three months he had been gone.
Unable to repress a shudder Ryouga considered the icy bitch that sat so calmly in front of him. Still he drew strength from his anger. He _would not _give in, would not show fear in front of Ranma … even if it killed him he wouldn't submit to Ranma's blackmail.
"So will you swear it?" Ranma hissed softly, her eyes darting to the side of the clearing were a small audience watched. She made sure to keep her voice low enough that her mama, her daughter and her sensei couldn't hear her words. Despite the seriousness of the situation she didn't want to risk their disappointment in her if they heard her threats.
Unfortunately she wasn't surprise by the pig boy's response when he refused … and long length and with much additional profanity.
"Good," Ranma smirked at Ryouga's shocked expression. "I _could _do either one of these to you … but I think I'd rather just beat some sense into you."
Reaching out she quickly tapped Ryouga twice on the chest, once on each side of his neck and then getting up she walked around Ryouga and tapped him three more times along his spine before returning to the front.
"It will take about fifteen to twenty minutes for the pressure points to wear off. Then I'm going to give you up to another half hour to get ready before we fight. If you are ready before that let me know and I'll be more than ready to start the beat down early.
With those last words Ranma turned and walked over to where her daughter and the others were waiting.
A/N
A couple of you all have caught on to what Ranma plan, though the how of it you apparently haven't and no I'm not telling which ones of you that is 'til next chapter.
Yes Nodoka is OOC a bit but there are explanations for that. One is that this is still an AU though in most respects I've taken canon and just tweaked it. Two, I wanted her to know the sword for this fic. Three she has prior knowledge of Ranma and perhaps as importantly she wasn't nearly so lonely during the ten years. Yes she acted the same pre-disappearance, but that was due to Michiru's coaching and telling her not to change the time-line.
Did some tweaking to better detail the Jurian thing. No Ranma isn't going to get the Lighthawk Wings. Besides Funaho was quite strong herself.
Yosho/Nodoka might happen, not telling. I didn't have any GXP and nothing was said about Yosho actually being married in canon Tenchi. Even if it had he is a Jurian so his wife might just have to put up with it. Besides with what happened to Seina (sp) read about it but only have the first 2 DVDs not all of his brides are Jurian so I don't think its limited to them.
End file.
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in _ reinforcement learning _ ( rl ) @xcite , an agent seeks an optimal control policy for a sequential decision problem in an initially unknown environment .
the environment provides feedback on the agent s behavior in the form of a reward signal .
the agent s goal is to maximize the expected _ return _ , which is the discounted sum of rewards over future timesteps .
an important performance measure in rl is the _ sample efficiency _ , which refers to the number of environment interactions that is required to obtain a good policy .
many solution strategies improve the policy by iteratively improving a _ state - value _ or _ action - value function _ , which provide estimates of the expected return under a given policy for ( environment ) states or state - action pairs , respectively .
different approaches for updating these value functions exist . in terms of sample efficiency ,
one of the most effective approaches is to estimate the environment model using observed samples and to compute , at each time step , the value function that is optimal with respect to the model estimate using planning techniques .
a popular planning technique used for this is _ value iteration _ ( vi )
@xcite , which performs sweeps of backups through the state or state - action space , until the ( action-)value function has converged .
a drawback of using vi is that it is computationally very expensive , making it infeasible for many practical applications .
fortunately , efficient approximations can be obtained by limiting the number of backups that is performed per timestep .
a very effective approximation strategy is _ prioritized sweeping _
@xcite , which prioritizes backups that are expected to cause large value changes .
this paper introduces a new backup that enables a dramatic improvement in the efficiency of prioritized sweeping . the main idea behind
this new backup is as following .
consider that we are interested in some estimate @xmath0 that is constructed from a sum of other estimates @xmath1 .
the estimate @xmath0 can be computed using a _ full backup _ :
@xmath2 if the estimates @xmath1 are updated , @xmath0 can be recomputed by redoing the above backup . alternatively
, if we know that only @xmath3 received a significant value change , we might want to update @xmath0 for only @xmath3 .
let us indicate the old value of @xmath3 , used to construct the current value of @xmath0 , as @xmath4 .
@xmath0 can then be updated by subtracting this old value and adding the new value : @xmath5 this kind of backup , which we call a _ small backup _
, is computationally cheaper than the full backup .
the trade - off is that , in general , more memory is required for storing the estimates @xmath6 associated with @xmath0 . in planning , where the @xmath7 estimates correspond to state - value estimates and @xmath0 corresponds to a state or state - action estimate , this is not a serious restriction , because a full model is stored already .
the additional memory required has the same order of complexity as the memory required for storage of the model .
the core advantage of small backups over full backups is that they enable finer control over the planning process .
this allows for more effective update strategies , resulting in improved trade - offs between computation time and quality of approximation of the vi solution ( and hence sample efficiency ) .
we demonstrate this empirically by showing that a prioritized sweeping implementation based on small backups yields a substantial performance improvement over the two classical implementations @xcite .
in addition , we demonstrate the relevance of small backups in domains with severe constraints on computation time , by showing that a method that performs one small backup per time step has an equal computation time complexity as td(0 ) , the classical method that performs one _ sample backup _ per timestep .
since sample backups introduce sampling variance , they require a step - size parameter to be tuned for optimal performance .
small backups , on the other hand , do not introduce sampling variance , allowing for a parameter - free implementation .
we empirically demonstrate that the performance of a method that performs one small backup per time step is similar to the optimal performance of td(0 ) , achieved by carefully tuning the step - size parameter .
rl problems are often formalized as _ markov decision processes _ ( mdps ) , which can be described as tuples @xmath8 consisting of @xmath9 , the set of all states ; @xmath10 , the set of all actions ; @xmath11 , the transition probability from state @xmath12 to state @xmath13 when action @xmath14 is taken ; @xmath15 , the reward function giving the expected reward @xmath16 when action @xmath17 is taken in state @xmath18 ; and @xmath19 , the discount factor controlling the weight of future rewards versus that of the immediate reward .
actions are selected at discrete timesteps @xmath20 according to a _
@xmath21 $ ] , which defines for each action the selection probability conditioned on the state .
in general , the goal of rl is to improve the policy in order to increase the _ return _ @xmath22 , which is the discounted cumulative reward @xmath23 where @xmath24 is the reward received after taking action @xmath25 in state @xmath26 at timestep @xmath27 .
the _ prediction task _ consists of determining the _ value function _
@xmath28 , which gives the expected return when policy @xmath29 is followed , starting from state @xmath18 .
@xmath28 can be found by making use of the _ bellman equations _ for state values , which state the following : @xmath30 where @xmath31 and @xmath32 . _ model - based methods _ use samples to update estimates of the transition probabilities , @xmath33 , and reward function , @xmath34 . with these estimates
, they can iteratively improve an estimate @xmath35 of @xmath36 , by performing _ full backups _
, derived from equation ( [ eq : bellman_state ] ) : @xmath37 in the _ control task _ , methods often aim to find the optimal policy @xmath38 , which maximizes the expected return .
this policy is the greedy policy with respect to the optimal _ action - value function _
@xmath39 , which gives the expected return when taking action @xmath17 in state @xmath18 , and following @xmath38 thereafter .
this function is the solution to the _ bellman optimality equation _ for action - values : @xmath40 the optimal value function is related to the optimal action - value function through : @xmath41 .
model - based methods can iteratively improve estimates @xmath42 of @xmath43 by performing full backups derived from equation ( [ eq : belllman_action ] ) : @xmath44 where @xmath45 and @xmath46 are estimates of @xmath47 and @xmath48 , respectively .
_ model - free methods _ do not maintain an model estimate , but update a value function directly from samples .
a classical example of a _ sample backup _ , based on sample @xmath49 is the td(0 ) backup : @xmath50 where @xmath51 is the step - size parameter .
this section introduces the small backup .
we start with small state - value backups for the prediction task . section [ sec : action - value backups ] discusses small action - value backups for the control task . in this section
, we introduce a small backup version of the full backup for prediction ( backup [ eq : full value backup ] ) . in the introduction
, we showed that a small backup requires storage of the component values that make up the current value of a variable . in the case of a small value backup ,
the component values correspond to the values of successor states .
we indicate these values by the function @xmath52 .
so , @xmath53 is the value estimate of @xmath54 associated with @xmath18 .
using @xmath55 , @xmath56 can be updated with only the current value of a single successor state , @xmath54 , as demonstrated by the following theorem .
the three backups shown in the theorem form together the small backup .
if the current relation between @xmath56 and @xmath55 is given by @xmath57 then , after performing the following backups : @xmath58 \quad \label{eq : small_2}\\ u_{s}(s ' ) & \leftarrow & tmp \label{eq : small_3}\thinspace,\end{aligned}\ ] ] relation ( [ eq : v_vs_relation ] ) still holds , but @xmath59 is updated to @xmath60.[th : value theorem ] backup ( [ eq : small_2 ] ) subtract the component in relation ( [ eq : v_vs_relation ] ) corresponding to @xmath54 from @xmath56 and adds a new component based on the current value estimate of @xmath54 : @xmath61 hence , relation ( [ eq : v_vs_relation ] ) is maintained , while @xmath53 is updated .
note that @xmath60 needs to be stored in a temporary variable , since backup ( [ eq : small_2 ] ) can alter the value of @xmath60 if @xmath62 .
< 1.5em - 1.5em plus0em minus0.5em height0.75em width0.5em depth0.25em theorem [ th : value theorem ] relies on relation ( [ eq : v_vs_relation ] ) to hold .
if the model gets updated , this relation now longer holds . in this section ,
we discuss how to restore relation ( [ eq : v_vs_relation ] ) in a computation - efficient way for the commonly used model estimate : @xmath63 where @xmath64 counts the number of times state @xmath18 is visited , @xmath65 counts the number of times @xmath54 is observed as successor state of @xmath18 , and @xmath66 is the sum of observed rewards for @xmath18 .
if currently , the following relation holds : @xmath67 and a sample @xmath49 is observed , then , after performing the backups : @xmath68/n_{s}\thinspace .
\quad\quad \label{eq : value correction}\end{aligned}\ ] ] the relation still holds , but with updated values for @xmath34 and @xmath69 .
backup ( [ eq : value correction ] ) updates @xmath56 by computing a weighted average of @xmath56 and @xmath70 .
the value change this causes is the same as the value change caused by updating the model and then performing a full backup of @xmath18 based on @xmath55 .
< 1.5em - 1.5em plus0em minus0.5em height0.75em width0.5em depth0.25em algorithm [ al : small backup evaluation ] shows pseudo - code for a general class of prediction methods based on small backups .
surpisngly , while it is a planning method , @xmath71 is never explicitly computed , saving time and memory .
note that the computation per time step is fully independent of the number of successor states .
members of this class need to specify the number of iterations ( line 8) as well as a strategy for selecting state - successor pairs ( line 9 ) .
initialize @xmath56 arbitrarily for all @xmath18 initialize @xmath72 for all @xmath73 initialize @xmath74 to 0 for all @xmath73 observe transition @xmath49 @xmath75 @xmath76/n_{s}$ ] select a pair @xmath77 with @xmath78 @xmath79 @xmath80 $ ] @xmath81 before we can discuss small action - value backups , we have to discuss a more efficient implementation of the full action - value backup .
backup ( [ eq : full action - value backup ] ) has a computation time complexity of @xmath82 .
a more efficient implementation can be obtained by storing state - values , besides action - values , according to @xmath83 .
backup ( [ eq : full action - value backup ] ) can then be implemented by : @xmath84 the combined computation time of these backups is @xmath85 , a considerable reduction .
backup ( [ eq : qv ] ) is similar in form as the prediction backup .
hence , we can make a small backup version of it similar to the one in the prediction case .
the theorems below are the control versions of the theorems for the prediction case .
they can be proven in a similar way as the prediction theorems . if the current relation between @xmath86 and @xmath87 is given by @xmath88 then , performing the following backups : @xmath89\\ u_{sa}(s ' ) & \leftarrow & v(s')\thinspace,\end{aligned}\ ] ] maintains this relation while updating @xmath90 to @xmath60 .
if relation ( [ eq : relationqv ] ) holds and a sample @xmath91 is observed , then , after performing backups @xmath92/n_{sa}\thinspace , \end{aligned}\ ] ] relation ( [ eq : relationqv ] ) still holds , but with updated values for @xmath45 and @xmath93 .
a small action - value backup is a finer - grained version of backup ( [ eq : qv ] ) : performing a small backup of @xmath86 for each successor state is equivalent ( in computation time complexity and effect ) as performing backup ( [ eq : qv ] ) once .
while in principle , backup ( [ eq : vq ] ) can be performed after each small backup , it is not very efficient to do so , since small backups make many small changes . more efficient
planning can be obtained when backup ( [ eq : vq ] ) is performed only once in a while . in section [ sec : ps small backups ] , we discuss an implementation of prioritized sweeping based on small action - value backups .
a small backup has in common with a sample backup that both update a state value based on the current value of only one of the successor states .
in addition , they share the same computation time complexity and their effect is in general smaller than that of a full backup .
a disadvantage of a sample backup , with respect to a small backup , is that it introduces sampling variance , caused by a stochastic environment .
this requires the use of a step - size parameter to enable averaging over successor states ( and rewards ) .
a small backup does not introduce sampling variance , since it is implicitly based on an expectation over successor states .
hence , it does not require tuning of a step - size parameter for optimal performance .
a second disadvantage of a sample backup is that it affects the perceived distribution over action outcomes , which places some restrictions on reusing samples .
for example , a model - free technique like experience replay @xcite , which stores experience samples in order to replay them at a later time , can introduce bias , which reduces performance , if some samples are replayed more often than others . for small backups
this does not hold , since the process of learning the model is independent from the backups based on the model .
this allows small backups to be combined with effective selection strategies like prioritized sweeping .
prioritized sweeping ( ps ) makes the planning step of model - based rl more efficient by using a heuristic ( a ` priority ' ) for selecting backups that favours backups that are expected to cause a large value change .
a priority queue is maintained that determines which values are next in line for receiving backups .
there are two main implementations : one by @xcite and one by @xcite .
all ps methods have in common that they perform backups in what we call _ update cycles_. by adjusting the number of update cycles that is performed per time step , the computation time per time step can be controlled .
below , we discuss in detail what occurs in an update cycle for the two classical ps implementations . in the moore & atkeson implementation
the elements in the queue are states and the backups are full value backups . in control ,
a full value backup is different from backup ( [ eq : full value backup ] ) .
instead , it is equivalent ( in effect and computation time ) to performing backup ( [ eq : qv ] ) for each action , followed by backup ( [ eq : vq ] ) .
hence , the associated computation time has complexity @xmath94 .
an update cycle consists of the following steps .
first , the top state is removed from the queue , and receives a full value backup .
let @xmath18 bet the top state and @xmath95 the value change caused by the backup .
then , for all predecessor state - action pairs @xmath96 a priority @xmath97 is computed , using : @xmath98 if @xmath99 is not yet on the queue , then it is added with priority @xmath97 .
if @xmath99 is on the queue already , but its current priority is smaller than @xmath97 , then the priority of @xmath99 is upgraded to @xmath97 .
the peng & williams implementation differs from the moore & atkeson implementation in that the backup is not a full value backup .
instead , it is a backup with the same effect as a small action - value backup , but with a computational complexity of @xmath85 .
so , it is a cheaper backup than a full backup , but its value change is ( much ) smaller . the backup requires a state - action - successor triple .
hence , these triples are the elements on the queue .
predecessors are added to the queue with a priorities that estimate the action - value change .
a natural small backup implementation might appear to be an implementation similar to that of peng & williams , but with the main backup implemented more efficiently .
the low computational cost of a small backup , however , allows for a much more powerful implementation .
the pseudo - code of this implementation is shown in algorithm [ al : ps small backups ] .
below , we discuss some key characteristics of the algorithm .
the computation time of a small backup is so low , that it is comparable to the priority computation in the classical ps implementations .
therefore , instead of computing a priority for each predecessor and performing a backup for the element with the highest priority in the next update cycle , we can perform a small backup for all predecessors .
this raises the question of what to put in the priority queue and what type of backup to perform for the top element .
the natural answer is to put states in the priority queue and to perform backup ( [ eq : vq ] ) for the top state .
the priority associated with a state is based on the change in action - value that has occurred due to small backups , since the last value backup .
this priority assures that states with a large discrepancy between the state value and action - values , receive a value backup first .
one surprising aspect of the algorithm is that it does not use the function @xmath87 , which forms an essential part of small action - value backups .
the reason is that due to the specific backup strategy used by the algorithm , @xmath90 is equal to @xmath60 for all state - action pairs @xmath100 and all successor states @xmath54 .
hence , instead of using @xmath87 , @xmath35 can be used , saving memory and simplifying the code .
table [ table : computation time ] shows the computation time complexity of an update cycle for the different ps implementations .
the small backup implementation is the cheapest one among the three .
.computation time associated with one update cycle for the different ps implementations .
@xmath101 indicates the number of predecessors , state - action pairs that transition to the state whose value has just been updated .
[ cols= " > , > , > " , ] initialize @xmath56 arbitrarily for all @xmath18 initialize @xmath102 for all @xmath103 initialize @xmath104 to 0 for all @xmath105 initialize @xmath18 select action @xmath17 , based on @xmath106 take action @xmath17 , observe @xmath16 and @xmath54 @xmath107 @xmath108/n_{sa}$ ] @xmath109 if @xmath18 not on queue or @xmath110 current priority @xmath18 , then promote @xmath99 to @xmath97 remove top state @xmath111 from queue for all @xmath112 : @xmath113 @xmath79 @xmath114 @xmath115 @xmath116 @xmath117 if @xmath99 not on queue or @xmath110 current priority @xmath99 , then promote @xmath99 to @xmath97 @xmath118
in this section , we evaluate the performance of a minimal version of algorithm [ al : small backup evaluation ] , as well as the performance of algorithm [ al : ps small backups ] .
we compare the performance of td(0 ) , which performs one sample backup per time step , with a version of algorithm 1 that performs one small backup per time step .
specifically , its number of iterations ( line 8) is 1 , and the selected state - successor pair ( line 9 ) is the pair corresponding to the most recent transition .
their performance is compared on two evaluation tasks , both consisting of 10 states , laid out in a circle .
state transitions only occur between neighbours .
the transition probabilities for both tasks are generated by a random process .
specifically , the transition probability to a neighbour state is generated by a random number between 0 and 1 and normalized such that the sum of the transition probabilities to the left and right neighbour is 1 .
the reward for counter - clockwise transitions is always + 1 .
the reward for clockwise transitions is different for the two tasks . in the first task , a clockwise transition results in a reward of -1 ; in the second task , it results in a reward of + 1 .
the discount factor @xmath19 is 0.95 and the initial state values are 0 . for td(0 ) , we performed experiments with a constant step - size for values between 0 and 1 with steps of 0.02 .
in addition , we performed experiments with a decaying , state - dependent step - size , according to @xmath119 where @xmath120 is the number of times state @xmath18 has been visited , and @xmath121 specifies the _ decay rate_. we used values of @xmath121 between 0 and 1 with steps of 0.02 .
note that for @xmath122 , @xmath123 , and for @xmath124 , @xmath125 .
each time a transition is observed and the corresponding backup is performed , the root - mean squared ( rms ) error over all states is determined . the average rms error over the first 10.000 transitions , normalized with the initial error , determines the performance .
figure [ fig : eval_results ] shows this performance , averaged over 100 runs .
the standard error is negligible : the maximum standard error in the first task was 0.0057 ( after normalization ) and in the second task 0.0007 .
note that the performance for @xmath126 is equal to the performance for @xmath127 , as it should , by definition .
the normalized performance for @xmath128 is 1 , since no learning occurs in this case .
these experiments demonstrate three things .
first , the optimal step - size can vary a lot between different tasks .
second , selecting a sub - optimal step - size can cause large performance drops .
third , a small - backup , which is parameter - free , has a performance similar to the performance of td(0 ) with optimized step - size .
since the computational complexity is the same , the small backup is a very interesting alternative to the sample backup in domains with tight constraints on the computation time , where previously only sample backups where viable .
keep in mind that a sample backup does require a model estimate , so if there are also tight constraints on the memory , a sample backup might still be the only option .
, in case of constant step - size , or different values of the decay parameter @xmath121 , in case of decaying step - size .
the top graph corresponds with the first evaluation task ; the bottom graph with the second.,title="fig : " ] , in case of constant step - size , or different values of the decay parameter @xmath121 , in case of decaying step - size .
the top graph corresponds with the first evaluation task ; the bottom graph with the second.,title="fig : " ] we compare the performance of prioritized sweeping with small backups ( algorithm [ al : ps small backups ] ) with the two classical implementations of moore&atkeson and peng&williams on the maze task depicted in the top of figure [ fig : largemaze2 ] .
the reward received at each time step is -1 and the discount factor is 0.99 . the agent can take four actions , corresponding to the four compass directions , which stochastically move the agent to a different square . the bottom of figure [ fig : largemaze2 ] shows the relative action outcomes of a ` north ' action . in free space
, an action can result in 15 possible successor states , each with equal probability .
when the agent is close to a wall , this number decreases . to obtain an upper bound on the performance , we also compared against a method that performs value iteration ( until convergence ) at each time step , using the most recent model estimate .
as exploration strategy , the agent select with 5% probability a random action , instead of the greedy one . on top of that
, we use the ` optimism in the face of uncertainty ' principle , as also used by moore & atkeson .
this means that as long as a state - action pair has not been visited for at least m times , it s value is defined as some optimistically defined value ( 0 for our maze task ) , instead of the value based on the model estimate .
we optimized @xmath129 for the value iteration method , resulting in @xmath130 , and used this value for all methods .
we performed experiments for 1 , 3 , 5 and 10 update cycles per time step .
figure [ fig : ps_results ] shows the average return over the first 200 episodes for the different methods .
the results are averaged over 100 runs .
the maximum standard deviation is 0.1 for all methods , except for the method of peng & williams , which had a maximum standard deviation of 1.0 .
the computation time per update cycle was about the same for the three different ps implementations , with a small advantage for the small backup implementation , which shows that the @xmath131 computation ( see table [ table : computation time ] ) is dominant in this task .
the computation time per observation of the value iteration method was more than 400 times as high as a single update cycle .
ps with small backups turns out to be very effective . with only a single update cycle
, the value - iteration result can be closely approximated , in contrast to the two classical implementations .
the results also show that the peng & williams method performs considerably worse than the one of moore & atkeson in the considered domain .
this can be explained by the different backups they perform .
the effect of the backup of peng & williams is proportional to the transition probability , which in most cases is @xmath132 .
in contrast , the moore & atkeson method performs a full backup each update cycle .
while the small backup implementation also uses backups that are proportional to the transition probability , it performs a lot more backups per update cycle . specifically , a number that is proportional to the number of predecessors . in general
, this number will increase when the stochasticity of the domain increases .
tothe @xmath22 .
below , transition probabilities ( @xmath133 ) of a ` north ' action for different positions of the agent ( indicated by the circle ) with respect to the walls ( black squares).,title="fig:",height=5 ] tothe @xmath22 .
below , transition probabilities ( @xmath133 ) of a ` north ' action for different positions of the agent ( indicated by the circle ) with respect to the walls ( black squares).,title="fig:",width=6 ]
prioritized sweeping can be viewed as a generalization of the idea of replaying of experience in backward order @xcite , which by itself is related to _ eligibility traces _
what all these techniques have in common is that new information ( which can be value changes , but at its core all value changes originate from new data ) is propagated backwards . whereas backward replay and eligibility traces use the recent trajectory for backward propagation of information , prioritized sweeping uses a model estimate for this .
hence , it propagates new information more broadly .
what gives the performance edge to the small backup implementation is that it implements the principle of backward updating in a cleaner and more efficient way .
one update cycle of algorithm [ al : ps small backups ] represents , in a way , the ultimate backwards backup : all predecessors are updated with the current value of a chosen state , which is selected because it recently experienced a large value change .
in contrast , the other ps implementation place the predecessors in a queue and backup only the state with the highest priority in the next update cycle . on top of that , the computation time per update cycle is lower for the small backup implementation ( see table [ table : computation time ] ) .
the new implementation of ps introduced in this paper would be impossible without the new backup .
the small backup allows for very targeted updates that are computationally very cheap .
this enables finer control over how computation time is spend , which is what drives the new ps implementation .
we demonstrated in this paper that the planning step in model - based reinforcement learning method can be done substantially more efficient by making use of small backups .
these backups are finer - grained version of a full backup , which allow for more control over how the available computation time is spend .
this makes new , more efficient , update strategies possible . in addition
, small backups can be useful in domains with very tight time constraints , offering a parameter - free alternative to sample backups , which were up to now often the only feasible option for such domains . | arxiv |
Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1
_Disclaimer: all rights are j k rowlings and I own none of the sec characters air anything, everything is j k rowlings, note mine?_
_A/n: this is the first thing I've written so its not great but reviews would be appreciated as idk if this is ok or not, thanks for reading! :)_
_August 31st_. The happiest and saddest day of the summer for Lily. She smiled at the thought of boarding the hogwarts express again and going into the magical world, going to hogwarts and being surrounded by people who understood and cared for her. Images of her four best friends Alice, Emma, Marlene and Dorcas entered her mind and she smiled fondly as she would be reunited with her friends again and she would escape her prude, jealous sister Petunia. Frowning lily remembered her sister and her big, fat, horrible muggle boyfriend, Vernon dursley, whom lily had had the displeasure of meeting. The large man resembled a pig in Lily's eyes but petunia was smitten with the boy and lily was sure that her parents were not to pleased by this either. A sad smile crept upon Lily's face as she remembered why August 31st was also a sad day for her, the last night she got to spend with her parents. Joseph and Rose Evans, though both muggles, were very keen for Lily to learn magic and were extremely pleased to have a talented, young witch in the family, much to the annoyance of Petunia who deemed her a freak purely through jealously at being ordinary and her sister being capable of doing things she could only dream of. All in all lily was excitedly waiting to get to platform 9 3/4 and begin another year of magical education. And with a broad smile upon her face she fell asleep and dreamt of the the new magic she would learn, the list her imagination produced seemly endless.
2. Chapter 2
_Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, all rights to J K Rowling _
September 1st
As the gateway to platform 9 3/4 loomed into view lily felt the excitement bubble up inside of her. Closing her eyes she ran as fast as she could against the wall in between platform 9 and 10. Hearing a train whistle and the loud bustle of people she opened her eyes and couldn't contain her gasp of awe. The same gasp she let out everytime she saw the hogwarts express standing proudly ahead of her. She heard a squeal behind her and turned to come face to face with her best friend, Alice. She had missed her friends so much this summer that she flung herself into her friends open arms and relished in being back with her again. It was only then that Lily clocked there was someone else their so pulling away from the hug she looked to her right to see Frank Longbottom, Alice's boyfriend, standing there with a huge hrin on his face. 'Hey Lily!' Frank said merrily and Lily gave him a big hug too, speaking into his shoulder she said 'hey Frank, it's good to see you again!'. Then Lily whipped her head around as someone shouted her name. Looking through the steadily growing crowd she found the source of the noise and scowled. James ruddy Potter was waving at her and making his way across the platform and within seconds he was by her side. 'Hey Evans if your giving out free hugs I wouldn't mind one' James said giving Lily one of his most charming, lopsided grins. Taking in his appearance Lily realised something, Potter had changed over the summer and be looked..handsome? Handsome! James Potter handsome! Lily shook her head and told herself off scathingly then turned to James and glared at him,'Shove off Potter, as if I would ever hug you!' she spat at him, a look of disgust gracing her usually gentle features. James's smile faltered and she saw the glimmer leave his eyes then as soon as it left it came back and Lily was wondering if she had imagined it or not. James shook his head slowly and spoke softly, the arrogant air his voice usually had nowhere to be seen 'can't blame a guy for trying' and with a half hearted smile he turned on his heel and marched back over to Sirius. Lily watched him leave puzzled and then turned around and saw Melody, Mary and Dorcas chatting with Alice. She then greeted them all and gave them all bear hugs and joined their conversation, unaware that across the platform James was staring at her as her words echoed through his ears, 'as if I would ever hug you...'. But those thoughts were momentarily shaken from his mind as everyone began boarding the train and he had to swiftly get through the crowds to reach the marauders compartment. Just as he was about to board the train he looked down the train and brown met green as his locked eyes with Lily and he heart began to melt. He loved her so much but she detested him, he would have to change that though, and soon. Then Sirius pushed him onto the train and the connection was broken.
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3. Chapter 3
Lily sat in her compartment with her friends and listened as they laughed and joked about and tried to laugh at the appropriate times but she wasn't really listening. What she was thinking about was the connection she had felt with James as she had boarded the train and how empty she felt once the connection was lost. It was only once everyone had stopped talking and all her friends were staring at her that Lily pulled herself from her thoughts and engaged herself in the conversation. It was only Alice who noticed the difference in her best friend and how her eyes were not sparkling as brightly as they usually did and were a dull green compared to the usual bright emerald, a sign that she was in deep thought, and took a mental note to enquire what was on her friend's mind when they were alone. Beaming at Lily she tried to pick up the conversation again and soon the compartment was filled with joyful laughter again.
Meanwhile in the marauders compartment evil schemes had already started to form. They were just finalising the details of their big opening prank which was to be preformed at the feast and other less grand prank ideas when Sirius stopped to look at James. Though engaged in the conversation Sirius knew there was something wrong, he knew James better then his own brother and knew that something was troubling him. He could tell by the way James was not being as loud as usual and instead of constantly ruffling his messy hair he just left it to cover half his face. This was something James usually did when he was trying to hide his emotions. Reminding himself to ask James about it later, Sirius turned back to Remus to continue his pleading to borrow his homework. Remus was definitely not budging and when he had finally had enough of saying no to Sirius he stood and excused himself to go attend the prefects meeting. James did not even raise his head as he felt himself fill with jealously that Remus got to spend time with Lily and yet he was constantly rejected by her. HIM! The irresistible James Potter was being ignored by the only girl he truly felt anything for it killed him inside every time he saw her. And it was worse because he knew that Remus was leaving early to go pick up Lily from her compartment on the way because the pair had grown quite close due to both being Gryffindor prefects yet was not saying so he did not upset James and that just enraged him more. Trying to subdue his anger and pain James lifted his head defiantly and pushed back his hair and began a conversation with Peter on what was better, Cauldron cakes or Pumpkin pasties whilst Sirius left to go seek out some poor, unfortunate girl. James was the only one who knew that Sirius loved Mary and all these other girls were just fillers, as were his own girlfriends. Though James did not get bored quite as quickly as Sirius and he only went for single girls. Sirius would never learn and with that thought James chuckled and began attacking Peter again who eventually gave up, as always, and began eating a chocolate frog.
4. Chapter 4
_Disclaimer: All rights to J K Rowling_
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The train had arrived at Hogwarts and it was a brilliant evening, the castle looked magnificent. It was illuminated brightly and stuck out in contrast to the dark nights sky behind it and the hundreds of stars littering the sky sparkled and the first years gasped in delight. Every time Lily saw this view her breath caught and this time in particular the stars seemed to be shining brighter then usual and she stood there to bask in its beauty until she had to tear away from the sight and move with the rapidly growing crowds pushing her towards the carriages. Looking around Lily realised she couldn't see her friends anywhere but by this time she was already at the front of the queue and was pushed into a carriage. As she stumbled into the carriage she stopped when she hit something very solid and fell to the floor. Looking up she saw the handsome face of Sirius Black and groaned. Of all the carriages to be pushed into it HAD to be the marauders but she was torn from her thoughts when she felt strong arms lifting her onto the seat as she squealed in alarm. The carriage filled with laughter at Lily's little outburst and she turned to glare at the boys and came face to face with James and jumped so high she almost fell over again. Regaining her composure she shuffled to the edge of the seat and turned away from the boys who were still snickering in amusement. Once they reached the castle Lily practically flung herself out of the carriage and hurried towards the caste steps where her friends were searching for her and joined them in entering the great hall for the start of term feast.
James watched as Lily's auburn hair disappeared from the carriage and hurried out after her only to see her rushing off to her friends. Sirius got off after him and clapped him on the back and brought him out of his trance and the four of them made their way up to the castle going over their plans for the start of term prank which had become a tradition at the school. From first year the four of them had managed to cause some kind of disturbance and as they had grown so had the audacity of their pranks, getting grander and greater as they progressed through their education. This year would be no disappointment that was for sure..
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5. Chapter 5
Dumbledore stood to give his usual beginning of term speech once the last few golden platters vanished from view. The hall immediately became silent and every student turned to face the head master, each and every one of them giving him their undivided attention. Clearing his throat lightly he glanced over at the Gryffindor table, at the four boys known as the marauders to be precise, and then began his extravagant speech outlining all the rules and wishing them all the best of luck in their new academic year whilst welcoming the first years. Once Dumbledore had finished his speech everyone turned to look at the marauders, waiting for their usual prank, and the boys just all smiled and waved back. The silence became uncomfortable and when it appeared that the boys were not going to do anything Dumbledore asked the prefects to led the new first years to their respective common rooms. The first to stand was a fifth year Ravenclaw prefect and when they did there was a burst of blue smoke. Everyone turned to stare at the girl and found that her robes were a beautiful shade of blue that matched her eyes and made her look stunning. Looking down at herself she gasped and her jaw dropped, she loved them! Everyone watched on envious of the girl's brilliant robes and it was only when the girl pulled her friend to her feet and there was anther burst of smoke did they realise that it happened when they stood. This girls robes where a darker blue and looked greater against her darker complexion. Suddenly there were many bursts of green. blue, yellow and red across the hall as everyone began to get to their feet and there was many gasps of awe heard throughout the hall and then suddenly the teachers rose and they were surprised when they too were engulfed in multicoloured smoke and emerged with robes in the colour of their house. Dumbledore and McGonagall looked overjoyed as did the rest of the students and Dumbledore rose to the podium again and the hall became quiet once again. Laughing heartily Dumbledore turned to the boys and congratulated them on their very advanced magic! Grinning the boys high fived each other and then out of the corner of his eye James saw lily in a light red robes that made her dazzle and he felt himself blush when he realised how blatantly obvious he was being. Turning to the others he said 'Ready?' and when they nodded they all discretely waved their wands in a complex pattern towards the ceiling. The next thing they knew small glittering balls like miniature stars fell from the pure black night sky and began settling everywhere, not burning or harming anyone but making the great hall look spectacularly beautiful and then as if a giant sparkler was being used the words 'brought to you by messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs' appeared in mid air in bright, sparkly gold. The overall effect was truly amazing, all the four tables glimmering with gold fairy like dust and bright in the colour of the house and the words still sparkling with mini pops and burst every once in a while. Suddenly the hall burst out in applause all of which was directed towards the the four boys who grinned happily and bowed to the crowds. But James could not keep his eyes off of Lily. She looked beautiful. With pieces of shimmering golden scattered throughout her hair and on her robes and the look of glee gracing her features James thought he had never seen something so beautiful and wished he had a camera. Little did he realise that everyone was noisily making their way out the of the great hall and the next thing he knew he was being dragged by Sirius to Gryffindor tower.
Lily POV
The feast had just finished and Lily was feeling as happy as ever, she was back at Hogwarts with her beloved friends and had just some amazing food. As Dumbledore stood Lily stopped her conversation with Alice and turned towards him to give him her full attention. She noticed him look towards the Marauders and she felt herself anticipating their yearly prank. Scolding herself for being so silly she turned back top Dumbledore who began talking. After his usual speech she turned with everyone else in the hall towards the marauders, waiting for their prank but was met only by their grinning faces. After it became clear nothing was happening Dumbledore told the prefects to escort the first years to their common rooms and Lily thought he sounded quite disappointed and she could tell many people were feeling so. She was about to stand when a pop and a burst of blue smoke stopped her. Turning towards the Ravenclaw table she saw blue smoke dissipating to reveal a girl in the most brilliant bright blue robes and she gasped. They looked truly glorious on her and then there was another pop next to her and Lily saw that her friend also know had blue robes. Understanding that this meant that if she stood her robes would also change she stood along with other sand slowly more and more people stood. When the smoke around her dissipated she saw that her robes had been turned a light red so they did not clash with her hair and she loved them! Chatting with her friends and others around her she saw that the teachers robes had also changed and she thought everyone looked wonderful. When Dumbledore arose to the platform again silence fell and everyone stared at him intently as he congratulated the boys. Suddenly from the sky beautiful shimmering gold flakes fell and landed everywhere and to Lily the scene was beautiful, the great hall and everyone in it coated in a light dusting of gold, the bright, different coloured robes on each table and the joyful faces seen all across the hall. This was magic at its finest and it was clear the growing war outside had been vanished from everyone's minds. The message 'brought to you by messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs' glittered in mid air and Lily gazed around her one last time, mesmerised and then began to leave with her friends. She was aware that James had been watching her for quite some time and as she was walking away she turned and saw him still staring after her and she shot him her most dazzling smile before turning on her heal and heading away with her friends, the smile still set upon her face and she engaged herself in the conversation again and soon her sweet laughter was heard echoing off the walls.
6. Chapter 6
_All rights to J K Rowling_
* * *
Lily POV:
"LILY WAKE UP!" yelled Emma as she pulled Lily's blanket away.
"EUGH FINE!" I yelled back as I sprang out of bed, grabbed my uniform and stormed into the bathroom.
I turned the shower on and steeped into the scorching water. I love magic! The water is instantly hot, no waiting around for it to warm up like with the shower at home. I used my scrumptious strawberry shampoo&shower gel, I smell fab! I quickly got dressed and brushed my teeth, walking out the bathroom whilst plaiting my hair in a long side plait.
"Wow how do you get ready so quickly! You took like 15 minutes and you still manage to look gorgeous!" exclaimed Marlene
"Well you know, it comes naturally" I winked cheekily then grabbed my bag and began walking to the common room "As if you can talk anyway Marls, you wake up in the morning looking like a supermodel!" It's true, Marlene was naturally beautiful and waas the envy of all the girls.
"Hey wait up! We waited for you and then you just leave without us, rude. Anyway I do not!" Marlene huffed indignantly.
"Yes you do" the we chorused, then we looked at each other and burst out laughing. We were at the great hall and ! walked in still giggling, I couldn't stop! We walked to our usual spot and I sat down with Marlene on my right and Emma on my left and Dorcas and Alice across from us. I grabbed an apple and happily started to munch on it when I realised my friends were staring at me open mouthed
"What?" I asked when I saw their shocked expressions
"You did not just willing eat an apple!" Emma exclaimed and continued staring at me
"Close your mouth, you look like a goldfish!" she closed her mouth with a frown. "Yes I am eating an apple, and I WAS enjoying it until you all rudely interrupted me!" I turned back to my apple and took another bite whilst looking for a knut to give to the owl in front of me which had just delivered the daily prophet. Putting the money in the owls pouch i turned back to my friends.
"Lily, queen of bacon, since when have you eaten fruit? AND for breakfast! Your not on a diet are you? You better not be or I will kill you!" Alice yelled at me.
Oh my godric people are starting to stare! "Keep your voice down will you! And I can have whatever I want for breakfast! But if you must know I just fancied an apple, I HAVE been trying to eat healthier but that doesn't mean I'm on a diet!" I self consciously pull my cardigan around my slim figure "BUT if it will shut you up then here!" I grabbed a piece of bacon of Emma's plate, took a bite, then put it back down. "Happy now!?"
"EW you did not just bite that then put it back on her plate!" A first year, Julie I think, squealed.
"Erm yeah I did problem? She's eating it isn't she?"I asked as I gestured to Emma who was munching on her half eaten piece of bacon and she looked up and smiled joyously. The first year turned away in disgust and I just shrugged and took another bite out of my apple.
"Here are your timetables" McGonagall said as she handed out our timetables
"Thanks" I said as I took my timetable looked at my lessons today, Double potions, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology and a free period. I smiled happily, YAY! Once I had quickly looked over my timetable I handed it to Marlene who was comparing them all.
"YAY Lily we have all the same lessons! And we have some the same as Emma but Alice you and Dorcas are only in a few classes with us!" Marlene said as she handed us back our respective timetables. I stood up, "C'mon guys we should be going, we have to go all the way to potions first. Dorcas did you really have to shove all that in your mouth? We could have waited for you for a few seconds!" I say as Dorcas nods and gathers her things.
"Oi Evans!"I hear someone shout from further down the table and I turn to see where the noise was coming from. James Potter of course. He ran his hand through his hair as he made his way over to me and I felt nervous. WHAT I did not just say I was nervous to talk to Potter!
"SOO what lesson you going to Evans? Potions by any chance?" James asked and threw me a lopsided grin. I just nodded in reply. "Oh well we have that next so we'll down with you guys" he said as he turned around and gestured for the others to come.
"Okay, I guess.." I trailed off as my girls and the rest of the marauders came over. "Lets go then" I said as I pulled my bag up my shoulder and turned around and began walking to potions with everyone following. I heard footsteps and turned to see James staring down at me with his lopsided smile and I felt strange, but happy.
"I see the summer has treated you well Evans, you look gorgeous as ever." I felt myself blush and looked down, not wanting him to see me embarrassed.
"Oh, erm, thanks I guess erm yeah" I mumbled out. Lily you are such a loser! I was saved from embarrassing myself further as we entered the classroom and I walked over to my usual place at the front with the girls and James left with the boys for the back row. I sat down and could feel him staring at me but made myself face forward and listen to what Slughorn was saying. Something about some potion, Amortentia, a love potion I read about in like 3rd year. Though I tried I noticed I found it really hard to focus and I had hardly any notes, oops. I cannot get distracted, my school work is important, I cannot maintain my straight O's if I let silly people like James Potter distract me.
The rest of the day I tried really hard to listen and do the work but it turns out Potter is in all my lessons. Every single one. I have a feeling this year is going to be really eventfully, great..
End file.
| fanfiction |
Doc Martin 1. Chapter 1
Buffalo Pictures owns Doc Martin. I own nothing except my own imagination. What follows takes place after Season Four … it was mostly written before information about upcoming Season Five was available, so no intention to spoil anything happens here. Any similarity would be coincidental.
Chapter One
"Remember when you said you could learn to be a father?" Louisa asked him. "I think at that moment, I began to relax just a little and realize that we all might have a chance to succeed and be a family. What were you thinking as you said that?"
One of the things that Martin had learned was whenever Louisa asked a question or questions, he had to suppress his urge to be painfully honest. What to him were truthful, straightforward answers almost never seemed to be the right answers, as he learned repeatedly the hard way. In modifying his behavior for other things (haemophobia cure, for example), he realized there were procedural methods he could introduce to 1) give himself enough time to think of a better answer, 2) appear thoughtful in his response instead of blurting out the first (rude) thing that came to mind and lips, and 3) reduce aggravating his lovely wife. Another thing he came to realize was that her intent wasn't to trap him in a "gotcha moment" as much as to feel closer to him. He didn't quite understand her (he wondered if he ever would), but there were residual benefits to suppressing his immediate (wrong) responses.
After a moment's pause, he replied, "Honestly, Louisa, I think I realized that you accepted what I had just said, and that you weren't afraid to let me be part of your and our son's lives. I couldn't believe it and I felt an instant tidal wave of relief. As I recall, I think I also felt some trepidation, because my experience with children, especially newborns, is limited to treating them in the surgery. I have no experience befriending them and certainly not parenting them."
Louisa was touched by his thoughtful response, since his nature was more to say something horrible first, and try and recover later. Was he already changing for the better?
"Why do you always underestimate your ability to do something as natural as be a parent?" she inquired. "You're a professional, educated man, respected in your field, able to do surgery and be a GP, responsible for the health and welfare of the whole village. Why do you doubt yourself?"
Martin realized he wasn't going to be able to study his medical journal tonight. Louisa seemed intent on talking … to him. As someone who had spent years on his own, rarely sharing more than an evening a week with other people, the change in his daily life, being with Louisa and Philip was drastic, and, if he was honest, tiring. On the other hand, however, there were benefits.
The main benefit was having an endlessly evolving relationship with the woman he loved. To be sure, she was loving and supportive a great deal of the time. But, being a lively and somewhat excitable person, she was also prone to jumping to conclusions – a trait they shared. He had never been with someone who was so keen on getting inside his head. She really wanted to know him, under what she labeled "his gruff, monosyllabic exterior." And they were getting to know each other better, although the strain of being together constantly presented a challenge at first.
It may be assumed that being sleep deprived (from having night feeds with Philip, or Louisa's alleged snoring, or just general low level stress of everyday life) did not help their situation at first. To their credit, however, they tried to remind themselves that the alternative of not being together was far worse.
Now that she had her family under one roof, Louisa settled on a worthy project: a slight makeover on Martin. She didn't want to change any of the "essential" qualities he possessed: intelligence, integrity, a man of "action" rather than words. She wished to introduce him to a few "quality of life" issues, such as the ability to relax, encouraging his slowly improving communications skills, and, of course, dealing with children. If she was being honest, she didn't want him to change too much, as much as she wanted him to _want _to change.
For being a smart- know-it-all about a large number of topics, Martin was still insecure around Louisa. He never quite believed that she loved him, despite her directly telling him so, marrying and moving in together. He had so little experience being loved by other people, including his own parents, that he had a hard time trusting the power and integrity of her love for him. And he did have some competition for her attention now, from Philip. All of these circumstances let him revert to his old routines … never quite telling her how he felt and keeping her at some little distance emotionally.
Louisa had always had some insecurities too, particularly as they related to Martin. She did believe he loved her on some level, and he certainly loved Philip, but she often felt as though she had to tread carefully around him, not to provoke his sharp tongue, or be the recipient of a medical lecture or some other condescending "teaching" moment, wherein he imparted his knowledge as the doctor, not her life's equal partner.
She thought of ways to combat the seemingly endless Doc Martin lecture series. Meet fire with fire? Change the subject? Break into tears to end it? Do something unexpected?
Tears seemed like a cheap way of getting her way, although if she was honest, there were times she felt like crying. Fighting back with facts and figures seemed pointless, because people with such pronounced views rarely change them, even when presented with facts and figures. And while Martin was decidedly a man of science, he didn't really regard her as his equal professionally. That lack of equality was a source of insecurity for her.
On the other hand, Louisa was a self made woman, who had been taking care of herself since her mum had left during her childhood, and she learned how to take care of her dad as well. She had put herself through school, had risen to the top of her chosen profession, and was well regarded in her community. She had no reason to question her standing, even with someone as professionally distinguished as Martin.
When it came to parenting duties, she was clearly the more experienced of the two on every level, from practical to emotional. Martin had even admitted as much when he had told her the previous year she'd make a lovely mother in an unguarded moment of truth. But now that Philip was here, he couldn't resist his own nature to be the authority figure all the time. It was maddening, especially since she was far more qualified to direct the parenting, especially while their child was young.
Martin could handle the physical things, changing a nappy, taking a temperature, diagnosing an illness, etc. But anything having to do with emotions, or closeness, or bonding … those areas were best left to Louisa. Except that, in his own home, he liked to exert control. Thus he liked telling Louisa how she was wrong, or how he could cite better references for all issues around bringing up their son.
After tolerating a certain amount of his "guidance," Louisa decided she was having none of it. She hadn't become head teacher by backing down from clueless parents, and she was not about to start here with Martin, because the stakes were too high.
After tiptoeing around Martin, and trying to meet him halfway, she drew the line at not showing her son how much he was loved. She couldn't bear to let him cry all night, when he was put down for the evening, when he was sobbing uncontrollably. Part of this was brought on by a strong sense that she never wanted him to feel that he had been unwanted or unloved, since, at least in her case, neither had been the case. From the moment she learned she was pregnant, despite the fact she was no longer with Martin, she wanted their child. And she never wanted Philip to doubt it.
So she fought Martin on this and similar parenting initiatives which he quoted at her, and decided ground rules for living together were necessary. Her ground rules were not unreasonable to anyone except Martin, but now that she was responsible for Philip as well, she knew she had to insist, or there would be changes.
"Martin, I cannot be constantly provoked by you and your irritating, condescending behavior, especially in the privacy of our home. I need our home to be a refuge for me too, and I need you to be part of that. If you're not willing to act respectfully in our own home, I think I'm going to ask you to leave, or Philip and I will," Louisa stated forcefully and directly. Martin blanched at her words.
"I'm only trying to help and to do what's best for our son," he protested. "I need to participate in his care and upbringing as well as you. And I want to …"
"I don't dispute that, Martin," said Louisa. "But you are not nice in how you deliver your lectures to me, and you're contributing to a hostile atmosphere. I don't know all about your childhood, but isn't that the sort of thing that you experienced in your own past that you would wish to avoid with our son?"
"It's true. Growing up, I was subjected to the most insidious kind of abuse … neglect and bizarre expectations," admitted Martin. "That's why it is important for me to be involved. … but perhaps you have a point. I'm rubbish when it comes to emotions. I concede that point readily but you know very well how much I love our boy. I don't see why you have to immediately shoot down my suggestions on child rearing, however. I am trying to help."
"Which is exactly why I'm having this conversation with you," said Louisa. "If we don't clear the air soon, and get ourselves on the right track, we're going to end up hating each other in an effort to do the right thing or be right, rather that working things out before they grow from minirows to major rows. That's what I want us to try and correct now, before we get stuck in a bad behavioral rut. Are you with me?"
Martin had to concede the logic of what she was saying. He didn't want to muck up his new-found closeness to Louisa and Philip. He knew that his behavior wasn't quite right, but he kept assuming that because his intentions were "pure," then they must be right. But what he never intended or wanted to do was to hurt Philip. So he supposed he could swallow his pride a little for his sake, and attempt to get along better with Louisa and even concede that maybe, when it came to dealing with children, he should do the unthinkable: let her take the lead and dictate their behavior.
Could he do it?
2. Chapter 2
Buffalo Pictures owns Doc Martin. I own nothing except my own imagination. What follows takes place after Season Four … it was mostly written before information about upcoming Season Five was available, so no intention to spoil anything happens here. Any similarity would be coincidental.
Chapter Two
Of course, life never goes the way you intend it, no matter how pure your intentions. Martin's ability to curb his tongue lasted less than a week. He just couldn't help himself; it was his nature to say what he thought, without considering the feelings of those he was speaking to.
While his patients had come to expect such treatment, Louisa was just as determined she would not expect it nor tolerate it. But, as even she would concede, change is hard for everyone, including Martin and including her.
Plus, they were dealing with change all the time. With Philip's arrival, their worlds had been turned upside down. As far as baby behavior goes, he wasn't that different from other newborns … lots of sleeping, regular feeds, and crying. Individually, they marveled at how quickly he learned to watch everything around him. Martin was privately very pleased by how well his son reacted to him holding him, seemed calmed by his reading to him, and even how much he resembled him at the same age. From his own baby pictures, it was clear how much Philip favored him. Had there been any doubt as to his father, those doubts were laid to rest by all who saw them together.
For her part, Louisa was thrilled at how Martin wanted to be involved, despite his old fashioned ideas. She also loved how beautiful their boy was. She was overwhelmed by how much love she felt for him. Expressing this range of emotions around Martin, however, made her a target for his commentary, not all of it pleasant. Also, despite the fact that the child was so small, he seemed to require an inordinate amount of attention, fresh clothing changes, assortments of towels to protect their clothing, etc. Since she was breastfeeding, she also had to be available to feed Philip whenever he was hungry. It was exhausting.
Being tired left her with little reserve when it came to withstanding yet another lecture about her inadequate ideas for handling the baby. So when Martin announced yet another plan for more effectively weaning him of bad habits (how many bad habits can a child acquire before the age of one month? Three months?), she had to put a stop to it. Despite having known Martin for several years, she was constantly amazed at how old fashioned his ideas about the roles of women and children were. She stood her ground and did what she thought was best.
Martin had been able to re-secure his GP position before it was backfilled permanently. So they did have a steady income while they were sorting themselves out. But as he had wanted to return to vascular surgery, and had overcome his haemophobia, he chafed a bit at the "lesser" position of GP, even though he was quite a brilliant diagnostician. He himself was having a hard time seeing the value of that position, as it paled in comparison to saving lives on a constant basis.
For one thing, being a GP meant dealing with people, whereas a surgeon only had responsibilities for patient care while the patient was mostly unconscious in the operating theatre. And as Louisa had long ago pointed out, his interpersonal skills were his Achilles heel.
Daily, he would come home muttering to himself about one or another time wasting malingering patient, who wanted tea and chat, rather than suffering from real illness. Many days, he felt useless. And for all of his diagnostic skills, he couldn't see how his behavior was affecting his relationship with Louisa.
She brought it up one night, in the guise of seeking his advice for how to handle someone else's situation. Perhaps the clarity with which he saw other people's problems would provide a glimpse into his own situation …
"Martin, do you think people's behavior can change?" she asked him one night as they were preparing dinner. "Or do you think we're doomed to repeat our same bad behavior no matter what?"
"As I once told Joan, not everyone can change, but some people can. I can and have," he replied. "I mean, I think we've adjusted pretty well to all the changes in our lives, for instance."
"So you're happy with how things are going?" Louisa asked. "Do you think we've arrived or do you think we're still on the learning path to getting along better?"
"Yes, I would say we're doing very well, all things considered," Martin said. "Think about it: we're providing Philip with everything he needs right now. Having you home taking care of him is ideal. In fact it's the optimum situation, isn't it? You're there for him all the time, and he's quite happy."
"Let me put this another way: are you happy with everything going on right now?" Louisa probed further. "Can you honestly say you're happy with us and the way things are between us and your job? I'd really like to know what you think."
"Of course I am. It's quite satisfactory," said Martin.
"So satisfactory equates to happiness? Are you happy? Do you ever ask yourself whether I'm happy with this arrangement? Do you ever ask me whether I'm happy?" Louisa blurted out, suddenly bursting into tears. "Martin, I'm not happy with how things are going. I'm on eggshells around you, I'm tired, I feel very unattractive, and I want to have adult conversations on a daily basis with someone other than myself."
"You do … you talk to me all the time," Martin said.
"No, you talk at me all the time. I don't think you're listening to what I'm saying. I know you don't want me to return to work, but I really need to for my own sanity. That's one point. Another is that you never touch me at all. I can only assume you find me less desirable than I was before Philip was born. I've never felt so unattractive."
Martin was shocked to hear this frank admission from Louisa. "Surely you know that's not true," he protested. "I'm as attracted to you as ever."
"Well how would I know it, hm, Martin? How exactly would I get a message like that from you? You don't tell me any such thing. You never touch me or initiate anything with me. How would I know that you find me attractive?"
"I was trying to respect some boundaries. Many new mothers do not welcome the advances of their partners following the birth of a child. Let's face it, we hardly spent much time together back when we were together, and suddenly, we're living together, but we never learned how to live together," he responded.
"So you do want to re-engage in a physical relationship?" Louisa asked, pleased by where this conversation was going.
"Yes, that would be acceptable … um, even desirable," Martin stuttered. "You have no idea how hard it has been for me to share the same bed with you and be in the same house with you. I'm afraid of hurting you or forcing you to do something you're not ready for and I don't want to do that."
"What makes you think I'm not ready for that or want it myself? As I told you long ago, I've never stopped loving you. True, we have the baby to consider now, and he takes up an incredible amount of time and attention, but that's apart from what we are to each other. Martin, I really want to reestablish some intimacy with you and soon. My body needs it, my mind needs it and most importantly, my soul needs it."
Martin was again overwhelmed by such a frank admission from the woman he loved. "When can we get started? What sort of intimacy did you have in mind?"
"Right now, I would settle for a few hugs in lieu of the lectures you seem to want to give me all the time. In fact, I'll suggest this. The next time you wish to lecture me about anything, I'm going to ask that you start the lecture with a hug and a kiss, for, you know, optimum impact. Also, at the end of every lecture, I think you should also follow up with a hug and a kiss. I think we need to remind ourselves that the context for everything we're doing should be within some sort of loving environment. And when I feel like lecturing you, I'll do the same. What do you think?"
"Let's test it right now. So come here," Martin commanded. He put his arms around Louisa and tilted her head up to face him. Then he very tenderly kissed her … and kissed her again. "Now where was I? What were we talking about?"
Yes, this method might work, Louisa thought to herself. And at least she would get some action, because Martin liked to issue directives and pronouncements of all sorts. Framed by hugs and kisses, it was entirely possible she could derail every one of them …
Fighting fire with the other kind of fire seemed to be a good plan.
3. Chapter 3
Buffalo Pictures owns Doc Martin. I own nothing except my own imagination. What follows takes place after Season Four … it was mostly written before information about upcoming Season Five was available, so no intention to spoil anything happens here. Any similarity would be coincidental.
Chapter Three
There is no question that their newfound feedback delivery system was having an impact. Frequently, in preparing to deliver feedback, the deliverer would be diverted from his/her original intent by the closeness of framing all feedback with hugs and kisses. It also had the side benefit of simply bringing them closer to each other and touching each other lovingly on a regular, daily basis.
As it turned out, they began to like starting every conversation with a hug and a kiss … so, although life was interrupted by villagers or the baby's crying, they were growing closer on every level.
Which is not to say that they didn't have odd conversations.
One night, when Philip was several months old, following their normal dinner routine, but well before bedtime, Martin sat next to Louisa on the couch, and put his arm around her. He hugged her to get her attention, and when she turned to face him, he kissed her forehead lightly.
"I'd like to talk to you about something that's been on my mind," Martin started. "Don't worry. It's a good thing, I think."
"What, Martin?" asked Louisa, knowing it could be anything ranging from her current diet, her return to teaching, ways to "teach their child" a proper lesson or two … well, it could just be anything. Since giving birth, she had developed a sense of calm about more things than ever before. She got upset a lot less than when she had been pregnant, now that her hormones had returned to more normal levels.
"I've been thinking. This whole business of having Philip, and living together, has been working adequately well in my opinion. Would you agree?" Martin asked. Louisa nodded and he continued. "Although we were on paths to go our separate ways pre-Philip, circumstances have conspired to keep us together. And I find that I'm not unhappy … in fact, the reverse. I can't ever remember feeling more at home with anyone or anywhere. So I have another proposition for you. Despite having mentally decided that we weren't right for each other last year, we're still together, we've produced a beautiful boy (well, you did the hard work), we're living together and World War III has not broken out, and I think you're happy as well. I know I will soon be spending time going back to surgery in London, but we'll still be together and I'd like to spend as much time together as we can. I'm not happy about being separated, but until I straighten out my professional status in the surgical community, I need to do my time in London. I'll work on a transition plan to eventually be here more, if that suits you, rather than moving you and Philip to London. We've talked about this, so I think you're ok with the whole concept. It's not ideal, but it will work out over time and our pending separation really is temporary in my mind and heart."
He stopped to take a breath. This was a fair amount of uninterrupted talking on his part, and unusually, he wasn't really delivering it as a lecture, but something a little more heartfelt.
"As I said, despite our best efforts to go our separate ways, we created this wonderful boy. Our being together has sort of stopped you from exploring other relationships with anyone else. I mean, I know we're married, but let's be honest, you could be with anyone you wished to, even with a baby. And now I'm coming to the point of my talk. At your age, reproductively speaking, you don't want to put off having any more children if you want more children. My offer is this: if you'd like to have another child, I think we should consider doing it sooner rather than later for your health, and for the health of any other children you, or we, might want to have. I've given this some thought. Philip would benefit greatly from having a brother or sister, and two children are probably not significantly more work than one, especially when they're young. Our little family is relatively harmonious, and although we seem to have mated relatively late in life, we're not unhappy in our current situation, no matter what that troll Porter might have implied when we didn't get married the first time," Martin continued.
"What I'm saying is: I don't want our lack of planning for a larger family, to hurt your ability to have another child if you want one (or more)," Martin said very quietly. "I would hate to think that by being involved with me and us, you've hurt your chances for additional happiness that I think you have always felt about having more children. If you'd like to try for another baby, I wouldn't be averse to having another child with you."
As soon as he offered to have another child together, Louisa's eyes spontaneously filled with tears. She couldn't believe how far Martin had come in his thinking and everything else. She grabbed him and hugged him, nearly speechless with joy.
"Martin, where did this come from? How long have you been thinking about this?" she asked him, looking into his eyes.
"Since I've known you, one of the things I most want in this world is to see you happy and to be a part of that somehow. I didn't really understand how I would be a part of it, but that's what I wanted," he replied, staring straight into hers as well. "You seem calmer and happier with me and the baby than any time I can remember since I've known you. Living with me hasn't dampened your enthusiasm for being involved in the community, or seeing your friends, or doing the things you want to do. Probably the bigger change has been the introduction of Philip into your life and for the better. As I said once, you'd make a wonderful mother, and you have become one. I'm not so selfish that I would hinder you from becoming the woman you were always meant to be. If that means having another child, then I think you should do it, and if you should do it, we should do it together. Of course, I'd prefer that we were going to be in the same city all the time, and that it was more convenient. More important, I've realized that we don't have to have to do what everyone else does in order to be a real family. I've never had that before, and I've never fully put someone else's welfare ahead of my own. But I find I want to ensure that I do all I can to make your life better … yours and Philip's. I can honestly say I've never felt that way before."
"So, no answer now, but think about it, will you?" he asked. "If we're going to have more children, we really shouldn't wait much longer, if only for everyone's optimum health."
That speech wore him out. Louisa hugged him and kissed him even more than she had been.
"Maybe we should get started," she said as she stood, put out her hand and pulled him up with her. "I don't think you could have suggested anything I'd want more than this, Martin. You've made me very happy. I love the idea of us both intentionally trying to getting pregnant. Are you sure this is what you want?"
He nodded and they headed upstairs.
4. Chapter 4
Buffalo Pictures owns Doc Martin. I own nothing except my own imagination. What follows takes place after Season Four … it was mostly written before information about upcoming Season Five was available, so no intention to spoil anything happens here. Any similarity would be coincidental.
Chapter Four
Do you ever wake up and realize you're having an out-of-body experience? This fate befell our protagonist, Martin, the next morning.
In the fog between being asleep and awake, Martin felt a sense of wellbeing, lying as he was spooned up against Louisa just before the alarm was set to go off and before the baby had wakened them both. But he also felt a sense of "what have I done?" in terms of the whole push to make another baby with her. What had he been thinking?
To be sure, the sex had been highly pleasurable for both of them. Making love to and with Louisa was the absolute pinnacle of his life's sexual experience thus far. He couldn't remember ever having a lover who meant more to him, nor one who turned him on as much as she did, nor responded to him as much as she did. With this new understanding between them and the goal of procreating intentionally, additional barriers he hadn't known were between them were suddenly gone. It was intoxicating all by itself.
Although they had been sleeping in the same bed since the baby was born, they hadn't really made much time for any intimacy. Moreover, they had been on eggshells with each other while they got used to being with and near each other again. Truthfully, they hadn't spent much time together even during their brief engagement the year before. So this newfound intimacy was intoxicating on multiple levels.
One of the things that constantly surprised Martin was how uninhibited Louisa was sexually. She had seemed a bit repressed when he was her doctor, finding it embarrassing to answer his questions about her period or other personal and physical matters. So he had assumed she would be restrained in her appetites, etc. But his assumption was wrong.
It was as if once her internal permission had been given, nothing was off limits between two mutually consenting adults. Ok, there might have been a few things she wasn't specifically into, but Martin probably wasn't going to explore those boundaries too far. For now, the fact that she agreed to everything he wanted to try, and he agreed to everything she wanted to try, made their lovemaking energetic, mutually rewarding and extremely satisfying.
Louisa had regained her pre-pregnancy figure fairly quickly, with the exception that her breasts, while she was breast-feeding, were still quite prominent. To Martin, she was more desirable than ever. Martin found himself a little bit intimidated by her beauty and willingness to experiment, but not one to be outdone, he soldiered on, to both of their benefit. He himself was a skilled and generous lover, focusing on delivering maximum stimulation and pleasure, and well able to read all the physical signs of achieving both. They could look forward to many years of satisfying each other, if tonight was any indication.
If only she could talk him completely out of those ridiculous pajamas forever. When just sleeping, they both preferred wearing some sort of comfortable bedclothes, but when making love, they preferred no clothes at all. As well, they both preferred having some light in the room, so they could look into each other's eyes, as well as enjoy the sight of each other's bodies, as they gave themselves to each other.
Afterwards, spooning with the blissful warmth and comfort of full body touching, they marveled at how far they had come, and fell asleep in each others' arms.
Until, of course, the next morning, when Martin was having his minor panic attack. It was odd, since he precipitated the whole set of events with his discourse and suggestion, however enthusiastically embraced by Louisa. One might be tempted to blame it on alcohol, but he had not imbibed. Perhaps his heart/soul/mind got drunk on the drug that was Louisa? Or maybe he was evolving into another man altogether. Was it possible for Martin, Mr. Personally Conservative, Mr. Firm Opinion About Everything, Mr. Authority … was it possible that Martin was changing?
End file.
| fanfiction |
the study was a prospective , randomized , controlled clinical trial ( iranian clinical registration number 138811182370n6 ) , and conducted at two tertiary - care urban medical center .
patients with end - stage renal disease from december 2009 to march 2010 were included in the study .
inclusion criteria included age more than 18 , being dialyzed with central tunneled catheter , med comp ( only if placed in the internal jugular vein ) , with a maximum time of one month post catheterization , dialysis 3 times a week and having accepted to participate in the study .
exclusion criteria were allergy to cefotaxime , antibiotic treatment within 2 weeks prior to enrollment , patients requiring a surrogate decision maker , catheters with blood flow rates less than 300 ml / min , or requiring frequent thrombolytic solution dwells in the catheter lumen because of malfunction . at the beginning of the study
38 patients were eligible to participate in the study , but 30 of them were consented ( 20.6% ) .
enrolled patients were randomly assigned by using a block computerized randomization protocol into two groups of 15 patients . in intervention group , we used cefotaxime , at a concentration of 10 mg / ml as the experimental antibiotic lock solution .
solutions were prepared by dissolving sterile cefotaxime sodium powder in normal saline for injection to reach a concentration of 10 mg / ml for cefotaxime .
then mixture of 1.5 cc cefotaxime ( 10 mg / ml ) and 1.5 cc heparin solution ( 5,000 u / ml ) ( ce / hs ) , was prepared in a syringe using aseptic precautions to fill 1.6 ml in the venous and 1.4 ml in the arterial lumen of the catheter at the end of each dialysis session ( exact volume of each venous and arterial port so that cefotaxime would not inter the blood stream , preventing its systemic effect and microbial resistance ) . in control group
we just filled 1.6 ml and 1.4 ml of standard heparin solution ( hs ; 5,000 u / ml ) in the venous and arterial lumens respectively . in both groups ,
the catheter exit - site was washed with antiseptic solution at the initiation and termination of each session , and covered by topical mupirocin and dry sterile gauze during dialysis intervals .
antibiotic solutions were stored in the refrigerator and nurses were trained to instill the solution into each of the two ports of the hd catheter at the end of each dialysis session , and withdraw it immediately before the next dialysis session .
all the included patients received dialysis three times a week with the same catheter and the same exit site care , and they all had the same duration of catheter insertion .
enrolled patients were routinely monitored clinically for symptoms and signs of infection , during each session of dialysis .
blood cultures were drawn if patients had fever , chills , rigors , sweats , change in mental status , or exit - site infection4 .
other causes of infection were ruled out . the study protocol required peripheral and catheter blood cultures and an exit site swab to be collected , if clinically indicated . if the catheter was removed , the catheter tip was cultured .
patients with positive blood culture results were treated with systemic antibiotics driven by type of organism and antibiotic susceptibility .
blood stream infections were defined by the cdc ( centers for disease control ) criteria21 .
definite blood stream infection was defined as the same organism from a semiquantitative culture of the catheter tip ( 15 colony - forming units / catheter segments ) or catheter blood sample versus peripheral blood sample in a symptomatic patient with no other apparent source of infection22 . if colony count of catheter were 5 times more than blood sample , blood stream infection were established720 .
. statistical analysis was performed with independent sample t - test and chi - square tests .
a hundred and fifty patients with end - stage renal disease were assessed for eligibility .
the study was a prospective , randomized , controlled clinical trial ( iranian clinical registration number 138811182370n6 ) , and conducted at two tertiary - care urban medical center .
patients with end - stage renal disease from december 2009 to march 2010 were included in the study .
inclusion criteria included age more than 18 , being dialyzed with central tunneled catheter , med comp ( only if placed in the internal jugular vein ) , with a maximum time of one month post catheterization , dialysis 3 times a week and having accepted to participate in the study .
exclusion criteria were allergy to cefotaxime , antibiotic treatment within 2 weeks prior to enrollment , patients requiring a surrogate decision maker , catheters with blood flow rates less than 300 ml / min , or requiring frequent thrombolytic solution dwells in the catheter lumen because of malfunction . at the beginning of the study
38 patients were eligible to participate in the study , but 30 of them were consented ( 20.6% ) .
enrolled patients were randomly assigned by using a block computerized randomization protocol into two groups of 15 patients . in intervention group , we used cefotaxime , at a concentration of 10 mg / ml as the experimental antibiotic lock solution .
solutions were prepared by dissolving sterile cefotaxime sodium powder in normal saline for injection to reach a concentration of 10 mg / ml for cefotaxime .
then mixture of 1.5 cc cefotaxime ( 10 mg / ml ) and 1.5 cc heparin solution ( 5,000 u / ml ) ( ce / hs ) , was prepared in a syringe using aseptic precautions to fill 1.6 ml in the venous and 1.4 ml in the arterial lumen of the catheter at the end of each dialysis session ( exact volume of each venous and arterial port so that cefotaxime would not inter the blood stream , preventing its systemic effect and microbial resistance ) . in control group
we just filled 1.6 ml and 1.4 ml of standard heparin solution ( hs ; 5,000 u / ml ) in the venous and arterial lumens respectively . in both groups ,
the catheter exit - site was washed with antiseptic solution at the initiation and termination of each session , and covered by topical mupirocin and dry sterile gauze during dialysis intervals .
antibiotic solutions were stored in the refrigerator and nurses were trained to instill the solution into each of the two ports of the hd catheter at the end of each dialysis session , and withdraw it immediately before the next dialysis session .
all the included patients received dialysis three times a week with the same catheter and the same exit site care , and they all had the same duration of catheter insertion .
enrolled patients were routinely monitored clinically for symptoms and signs of infection , during each session of dialysis .
blood cultures were drawn if patients had fever , chills , rigors , sweats , change in mental status , or exit - site infection4 .
other causes of infection were ruled out . the study protocol required peripheral and catheter blood cultures and an exit site swab to be collected , if clinically indicated . if the catheter was removed , the catheter tip was cultured .
patients with positive blood culture results were treated with systemic antibiotics driven by type of organism and antibiotic susceptibility .
blood stream infections were defined by the cdc ( centers for disease control ) criteria21 .
definite blood stream infection was defined as the same organism from a semiquantitative culture of the catheter tip ( 15 colony - forming units / catheter segments ) or catheter blood sample versus peripheral blood sample in a symptomatic patient with no other apparent source of infection22 . if colony count of catheter were 5 times more than blood sample , blood stream infection were established720 .
. statistical analysis was performed with independent sample t - test and chi - square tests .
a hundred and fifty patients with end - stage renal disease were assessed for eligibility .
the study was a prospective , randomized , controlled clinical trial ( iranian clinical registration number 138811182370n6 ) , and conducted at two tertiary - care urban medical center .
patients with end - stage renal disease from december 2009 to march 2010 were included in the study .
inclusion criteria included age more than 18 , being dialyzed with central tunneled catheter , med comp ( only if placed in the internal jugular vein ) , with a maximum time of one month post catheterization , dialysis 3 times a week and having accepted to participate in the study .
exclusion criteria were allergy to cefotaxime , antibiotic treatment within 2 weeks prior to enrollment , patients requiring a surrogate decision maker , catheters with blood flow rates less than 300 ml / min , or requiring frequent thrombolytic solution dwells in the catheter lumen because of malfunction . at the beginning of the study
38 patients were eligible to participate in the study , but 30 of them were consented ( 20.6% ) .
enrolled patients were randomly assigned by using a block computerized randomization protocol into two groups of 15 patients . in intervention group , we used cefotaxime , at a concentration of 10 mg / ml as the experimental antibiotic lock solution .
solutions were prepared by dissolving sterile cefotaxime sodium powder in normal saline for injection to reach a concentration of 10 mg / ml for cefotaxime .
then mixture of 1.5 cc cefotaxime ( 10 mg / ml ) and 1.5 cc heparin solution ( 5,000 u / ml ) ( ce / hs ) , was prepared in a syringe using aseptic precautions to fill 1.6 ml in the venous and 1.4 ml in the arterial lumen of the catheter at the end of each dialysis session ( exact volume of each venous and arterial port so that cefotaxime would not inter the blood stream , preventing its systemic effect and microbial resistance ) . in control group
we just filled 1.6 ml and 1.4 ml of standard heparin solution ( hs ; 5,000 u / ml ) in the venous and arterial lumens respectively . in both groups ,
the catheter exit - site was washed with antiseptic solution at the initiation and termination of each session , and covered by topical mupirocin and dry sterile gauze during dialysis intervals .
antibiotic solutions were stored in the refrigerator and nurses were trained to instill the solution into each of the two ports of the hd catheter at the end of each dialysis session , and withdraw it immediately before the next dialysis session .
all the included patients received dialysis three times a week with the same catheter and the same exit site care , and they all had the same duration of catheter insertion .
enrolled patients were routinely monitored clinically for symptoms and signs of infection , during each session of dialysis .
blood cultures were drawn if patients had fever , chills , rigors , sweats , change in mental status , or exit - site infection4 .
other causes of infection were ruled out . the study protocol required peripheral and catheter blood cultures and an exit site swab to be collected , if clinically indicated . if the catheter was removed , the catheter tip was cultured .
patients with positive blood culture results were treated with systemic antibiotics driven by type of organism and antibiotic susceptibility .
blood stream infections were defined by the cdc ( centers for disease control ) criteria21 .
definite blood stream infection was defined as the same organism from a semiquantitative culture of the catheter tip ( 15 colony - forming units / catheter segments ) or catheter blood sample versus peripheral blood sample in a symptomatic patient with no other apparent source of infection22 . if colony count of catheter were 5 times more than blood sample , blood stream infection were established720 .
data were analyzed using spss software ( spss inc . , chicago , il ; ver.18 ) .
statistical analysis was performed with independent sample t - test and chi - square tests .
all patients were visited in the hd unit on every other daily basis , and clinical events were closely examined .
baseline demographic and clinical data including , age , male - female ratio , weight , diabetes , hypertension , lab data ( complete blood count , serum ferritin and serum albumin ) did not have significant difference among two groups ( p > 0.05 ) ( table 1 ) .
demographic and basic clinical characteristics of patients at the beginning of study exit site infection was occurred in neither of groups but eleven patients developed cri in the hs ( control ) group at the time of the first interim analysis , whereas no patient had cri in the ce / hs group . clinical examination and follow - up of the patients with infection
infection rate per 1000 catheter - days was zero in the ce / hs group versus 6.84 in the hs group ( p < 0.001 ) .
the bacteria isolated from peripheral and catheter blood were gram - negative bacilli in 64% , while 36% of them were grampositive cocci . among gram - positive cocci ,
infection - free survival rates at 180 days were 100% for the ( ce / hs ) group , and 56% for the hs group ( p < 0.001 , pearson chi - square value = 17.368 ) .
cri results from migration of skin organisms along the catheter into the bloodstream or contamination and colonization of catheter lumens.23 all indwelling vascular catheters develop a biofilm on internal and external surfaces .
subsequent colonization of this biofilm occurs in a high percentage of catheters and precedes bacteremia and septic symptoms.24 through reduction in cri rate , we can reach dramatic reduction in morbidity and mortality of hemodialysis patients .
antibiotic lock is one of the methods which can help to prevent cri , but according to its importance and financial cost , prospective randomized clinical trials are necessary to confirm its efficacy .
the aim of this study was to determine the efficacy of catheter restricted filling with cefotaxime and heparin in preventing tunneled catheter related infections ( cri ) in hemodialysis patients .
patients with confirmed bacteremia may benefit from administration of intravenous antibiotics and instillation of the antibiotic - heparin lock between dialysis sessions without catheter removal .
a lower concentration of the antibiotic - heparin lock was investigated for preventing gram - positive central venous catheter related infections in 57 neutropenic patients with cancer.25 antiseptic and antibiotic coatings on central venous catheters showed promising results in intensive care populations.2627 a 79% reduction in the rate of catheter - related blood stream infections ( relative risk [ rr ] 0.21 , 95% ci 0.03 - 0.95 ) was reported with use of chlorhexidine - silver sulfadiazine - coated catheters .
application of these results to patients receiving chronic hemodialysis is limited as catheters used in intensive care unit are in situ for approximately one week , versus hemodialysis catheters which may be in situ for several weeks or even months.26 cefotaxime is active against most gram - negative bacilli ( except pseudomonas ) and gram - positive cocci ( except enterococcus ) and is also active against many penicillin - resistant pneumococci .
this study suggested that infection rates per 1000 catheter - days were significantly lower in the ce / hs group versus hs ( control ) group ( 0.000 vs. 6.84/1000 catheter days ) .
saxena showed a lower cri incidence in the ce / hs group versus hs ( control ) group in non - tunneled hd catheters ( 1.65 vs. 3.13/1000 catheter days ) . in tunneled hd catheters , rate of cri is less than non - tunneled hd catheters.4 furthermore
, he showed a lower cri incidence in the ce / hs group versus hs ( control ) group ( 1.67 vs. 3.60/1000 catheter days ) in tcc.28 cri rates were significantly lower with the use of antibiotic locking solution ( alss ) .
pooled data from several studies show that cri is 7.72 ( 95% confidence interval , 5.1 to 10.3 ) times less likely with als than with heparin.29 six of these studies used heparin , 5000 u / ml , as the control group , while the study by kim et al26 used 1000 u / ml .
antibiotics tested include gentamicin,223031 gentamicin / citrate combination,32 cefotaxime,4 minocycline,22 cefazolin/ gentamicin combination26 and chlorhexidine.33 in this study , the choice of cefotaxime was based on its broad spectrum effect on gramnegative organisms in addition to being most effective amongst third generation cephalosporins against staphylococcus aureus .
cefotaxime was preferred over gentamicin for locking tcc , which can be potentially ototoxic , specially in elderly patients who often have preexisting hearing disabilities.283435
the present study shows that catheter - restricted filling with a solution containing cefotaxime and heparin may significantly reduce the incidence of catheter - related infection among end stage renal disease patients .
cefotaxime as an antibiotic lock solution appears to be effective and safe ; although there is some concern about the allergy to its leaked solution from lumens .
therefore we excluded the patients who had allergy to cefotaxime . in order to omit biases in our study , all the patients had the same frequency of manipulation , they all received dialysis three times a week with the same catheter and they all had the same duration of catheter insertion . with the use of antibiotic lock method for reduction in cri rate
, we may reach dramatic reduction in morbidity and mortality of hemodialysis patients . since this study was a small sample size and short - term follow - up study , and according to its importance and financial cost associated ,
there is a need for additional studies with long - term follow - up on larger population to evaluate the efficacy of cefotaxime lock protocol and its probable adverse effects and its correlation with using topical agents .
mm , sa , bp , and aa selected and managed patients , fs referred eligible patients after catheter placement , ma was our statistician , rs , ahdj , and ns were the major contributors in writing the manuscript . | pubmed |
Siel Bleu Ireland offers life enhancing exercise programmes to older adults and people living with chronic disease with the goal of improving their physical, social and mental wellbeing. We all know the benefits of exercise when we are younger, but the importance of exercise for older adults can often be underestimated. We are here to change that by making exercise affordable and accessible for anyone who can't take part in traditional exercise classes for any number of physical or cognitive reasons. We go where we are needed, offering group exercise classes in nursing homes, day care centres, community centres, with Patient Groups and one to one sessions in private homes. Our team is comprised of highly skilled and educated physical trainers who hold a minimum a degree in Sports Science or a related field. When we combine the range of programmes, delivered by our expert and empathetic staff, they result in real physical, social and cognitive improvements to the wellbeing of older people and people living with chronic disease.
One of the greatest successes of our society is that, due to modern medicine we are living longer. According to the 2016 Census the over 65s population has increased by 19.1% since 2011. As our population ages, we are facing an increase in sedentary lifestyles, chronic disease, social isolation and an increase in falls and fractures amongst other issues. We cannot guarantee the years which have been added to our lives are full and independent.
The average cost of a fracture occurring fall is €50,000 per person. The overall cost of falls in Ireland is set to reach €1billion by 2020and €2billion by 2030. Exercise has proven to reduce the rate of falls in community dwelling older adults by 21%. Our own research has shown that our programmes prevent a fracture occurring fall for nursing home residents every 5 years.
There is a simple method to help counteract some of the issues relating to an ageing population - exercise!
At Siel Bleu, we have spent years perfecting a means to tackle inactive ageing. By offering a wide range of programmes, delivered by professional and empathetic trainers, in locations suitable for the participants we now work with 5000 people a week and our scope is increasing week on week.
The best piece of advise we could give is to make sure you have the right people working on the front lines with you. Candidates may have all the right qualifications on their CV, but if they don't have the right personality then they won't get very far. Older adults have seen it all and know probably much more than we ever will. To ensure the best for them we have to make sure we have the right people delivering programmes. They must be kind, empathetic and non patronising while also being encouraging, a complicated but important mix. In a service like our, that is the most important element. | slim_pajama |
Discussion in 'Articles' started by NamStay, Apr 11, 2019.
Rhino tracker of SRT at work.
As tough as a rhino hide, the Namibian trackers of the Save the Rhino Trust (SRT) are the often-overlooked heroes of the conservation success story that is ensuring the survival of the desert-adapted black rhino (Diceros bicornis bicornis) in Namibia.
The immense efforts of the past three decades – the SRT in cooperation with Government and local and international partners – has achieved what was once thought nigh impossible: transforming a population that was a breath away from extinction into the largest free-roaming black-rhino population in the world. And since the late 90s, the population has been steadily increasing.
SRT trackers monitor a black rhino and cross of a to-do list.
Behind this success story, which has received global recognition and acclaim, are the men and women who spend up to three weeks at a stretch in the field to keep a watchful eye on this ancient species. They collect data, monitor the health of these hardy pachyderms and in general deter would-be poachers by their mere presence.
Their job is integral to the success of rhino preservation in Namibia. And their job, in a nutshell, is one of the toughest there is.
These intrepid custodians of this treasured endangered species are able to survive in one of the most inhospitable terrains in Southern Africa for weeks on end. They embody an endeavour that makes them essential to rhino conservation efforts.
These Sherlock Holmes's of rhino tracking underpin the mission of the SRT to monitor and protect the desert-adapted black rhino in Namibia's remote north-western Kunene Region. Teams are delegated to monitor specific zones within the 25 000-square-kilometre core rhino area – by vehicle or on foot. A specialised team is equipped with donkeys and camels, which can easily traverse terrain not accessible by vehicle.
In March it was my privilege and once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join a rhino patrol in the company of three other visitors.
The mountainous terrain of Damaraland, strewn precariously with ochre-coloured rocks of all shapes and sizes, and intersected with deep gullies, dry riverbeds and steep canyons, is difficult to describe to anyone who has not yet traversed it on foot.
There is no such thing as a flat surface in this terrain. From the moment the trackers step down from the vehicle, they demonstrate their remarkable expertise in navigating the area. From my wobbling vantage point far behind them, they seemed to glide across the landscape, avoiding both living and non-living obstacles in their path with ease.
SRT staff and visitors scan the rugged landscape for a sign of the elusive black rhino.
We had left the SRT base camp, Mai Go Ha, at 06:30. A mere two hours later one of the eagle-eyed trackers, 24-year-old Manfred Uiseb, spotted a rhino in the distance.
While we, the visitors, were still orienting ourselves, Manfred and his colleagues, Abner Naseb (30) and Justus Hendricks (44) had already assembled the necessary equipment and were making their way swiftly towards the rhino – 'the hippo of the land', as they jokingly describe this prehistoric mammal.
Through their jobs, these three men and the other local trackers have come to identify with the cause of rhino conservation, and have become natural ambassadors for the desert-adapted black rhino.
When I finally reach the three men, they are collecting data. We are standing 150 metres away from this critically endangered mammoth, a living fossil and an integral part of the landscape. Despite its enormous size – grown males can weigh over 1 000 kilograms – the rhino is moving fast along the ridge of the mountain. It looks tiny against the looming accumulation of basaltic rock.
A grey ghost, whose two horns – the unfortunate source of all its troubles – stand out white against its grey hide. Apparently our rhino had taken a mud bath in the not-so-distant past.
The haste of the trackers was understandable. They knew that these bulky animals were deceptively nimble and fast. Once they sensed a human presence, they could vanish in a flash. The trackers had only a minute or two to record the details before the rhino would vanish around the curve of the mountain.
Typically, each team of trackers consists of four members. Each one fulfils a specific task, such as ticking off items on the rhino-sighting form, taking photographs, noting GPS coordinates, and so on.
Despite these challenges, the men are proud of what they do, and are not planning any career changes soon.
While out on their patrols, which take 15 to 18 days at a stretch, the trackers rise in the early morning. They convene at the nearest water source, mostly a natural spring, to scout for fresh signs of rhino.
As a rhino's home range can extend over 80 to 120 kilometres, the trackers face a host of challenges, including searing heat, long distances, rough terrain, skittish animals and above all, the dangers posed by wildlife.
As rhinos do not comprehend the hard work these men are doing on their behalf, it is not surprising that there are regular accounts of rhino charges. Moreover, this wilderness terrain is not home only to rhinos. Elephant, lion, cheetah, hyaena and leopard roam the landscape, and are not too pleased when they encounter a group of humans.
Among the many stories told by the trackers are those of life-saving strategies such as jumping into the centre of a favourite rhino snack – the poisonous Euphorbia damarana bush, ubiquitous in this area – to escape a close encounter with one of these precious pachyderms. Trees, which are in short supply and tend to be flimsy in this remote habitat, have nevertheless served as useful high perches to evade a snarling pack of lions.
A subtle shift in a rock, a graze of a hoof, a half-chewed leaf, is all it takes to get the day going for these men.
Justus says the work as a tracker has taught him many other skills into the bargain. These include working with tourists and reading equipment such as GPS devices and range finders. Through the SRT, all the trackers have attended various workshops and courses.
But they don't deny that their job is tough.
While the rhino population in Namibia is steadily increasing and being protected, the situation remains fragile. The Save the Rhino Trust depends on funding to continue its work.
Due to cost cutting the world over, funding is becoming scarcer, yet ever more critical. Rhino poaching has exploded in neighbouring countries such as South Africa and now more than ever, the critically endangered desert-adapted rhino needs the help of the public.
In the event of the SRT closing its doors due to lack of funding, there is no doubt that poaching in Namibia will resume and escalate, and the safety of the black rhino will deteriorate sharply and rapidly.
The SRT is grateful for any donation, however big or small. | slim_pajama |
surprisingly , understanding of melting is still an open problem in condensed matter physics . for instance , after more than hundred years , there is still no reliable theoretical justification of the lindemann criterion @xcite . nevertheless , the melting temperature @xmath0 is well - defined as the temperature at which the gibbs free energy curves of the liquid and solid phase intersect .
graphene , however , is a quasi-2d crystalline membrane @xcite , which melts into a 3d liquid phase @xcite .
the different dimensionality of these two phases makes it impossible to determine their free energy difference with existing methods , so that it is a priori not even clear how to define @xmath0 . here
we show that a 2d nucleation theory offers a way to overcome this difficulty and give a reliable quantitative value of @xmath0 .
while for 3d systems , there is no consensus about how to describe melting and premelting anomalies , for a 2d crystal there is a commonly accepted microscopic scenario for melting @xcite , the kthny theory @xcite . in the kthny theory ,
melting occurs via unbinding of topological defects , like vortices in superconductors @xcite .
this scenario seems not to apply to graphene .
apart from the embedding in 3d space , which affects all its structural and thermodynamic properties @xcite , the nature of defects is completely different from those considered in the kthny theory . in graphene
, there are neither observations nor predictions of stable single pentagons or heptagon defects ( disclinations ) . dislocations ( pentagon - heptagon pairs ) have been observed mainly at grain boundaries @xcite .
the 4.6 ev formation energy @xcite of a stone - wales ( sw ) defect made of two adjacent pentagon - heptagons ( 57 ) pairs is much lower than the formation energy of two well separated 57 pairs as occurring in small angle grain boundaries @xcite . in the appendix
we show how the formation energy of two 57 pairs rapidly increases with separation .
the relative stability of sw defects make them play a crucial role in the pre - melting behavior of graphene @xcite and prevents them to split into two 57 defects and further , and by this to follow the kthny scenario . in ref .
we have shown that , within the same model of interactions that we use here , spontaneous melting of graphene occurs at a temperature that we call @xmath2 of 4900 k , giving an upper limit for the true melting temperature @xmath3 of graphene . here
we show that the melting of bulk graphene can be described by nucleation theory , allowing an unambigous definition of the melting temperature , @xmath0 .
we find @xmath1 k , about 250 k higher than that of graphite@xcite and sofar the highest of all materials .
the paper is organized as follows . in section
ii we review previous results @xcite on the spontaneous melting of bulk graphene . in section iii
we introduce an approach based on classical and kinetic nucleation theory to the melting in 2d .
this approach is applied in section iv to bulk graphene .
the melting of finite disks and ribbons is presented in sections v and vi respectively .
summary and conclusions are given in section vii .
in a previous work @xcite , we have studied the spontaneous melting of graphene by means of monte carlo ( mc ) simulations based on the reactive bond order potential lcbopii @xcite .
a suitable lindemann type order parameter for graphene was defined as @xmath4 , where @xmath5 is the atomic radius , with @xmath6 the 2d particle density , @xmath7 is the position of the @xmath8-th atom and the sum over @xmath9 runs over the @xmath10 atoms closest to atom @xmath8 . for graphene
, melting starts at @xmath11 , close to the value found for a strictly 2d , triangular lattice @xcite .
a a ) a snapshot of simulated bulk graphene at the onset of melting .
the system contains 1008 atoms with pbcs .
note the coexistence of solid and liquid parts .
b ) energy @xmath12 and c ) and order parameter @xmath13 as a function of temperature @xmath14 during a linear temperature ramp for 8 independent simulations .
, title="fig : " ] a ) a snapshot of simulated bulk graphene at the onset of melting .
the system contains 1008 atoms with pbcs .
note the coexistence of solid and liquid parts .
b ) energy @xmath12 and c ) and order parameter @xmath13 as a function of temperature @xmath14 during a linear temperature ramp for 8 independent simulations .
, title="fig : " ] in fig .
[ egamma]a we show a snapshot from a mc simulation in which a bulk graphene system consisting of @xmath151008 atoms with periodic boundary conditions ( pbcs ) is heated at a constant rate .
[ egamma]b and c show the potential energy @xmath12 and @xmath16 as a function of the applied , increasing temperature found in 8 independent mc simulations .
melting is signalled by a jump in @xmath12 and @xmath16 , but with large variations in the observed melting temperature , @xmath17 , at which this jump occurs for different , independent simulations .
this jump as well as the coexistence of solid and liquid parts in fig .
[ egamma]a are typical features of first order phase transitions .
obviously , the lowest @xmath18 k found in ref .
constitutes only an upper limit for the true melting temperature @xmath3 of graphene .
here we propose a quantitative approach to determine @xmath0 by considering the melting as a process initiated and dominated by the nucleation of liquid nuclei in the solid sheet , a typical scenario for a first order phase transition .
the possible applicability of nucleation theory is furthermore suggested by our observation that the melting process occurs in two steps .
first the graphene sheet transforms into a sort of quasi-2d liquid phase consisting of entangled and interconnected chains remaining roughly within the quasi-2d plane of the previously solid sheet . eventually , the chains start to disentangle and extend to 3d space , with a diverging simulation box in npt simulation at zero pressure applied in this work . in fig .
[ egamma ] this `` graphene @xmath19 quasi-2d liquid @xmath19 3d liquid '' scenario is reflected in the energy curve : first , at melting , the energy steeply increases by about 1.05 ev after which it remains roughly constant for a while before it starts to increase further .
this two steps scenario via an intermediate quasi-2d liquid phase would imply that the melting temperature of graphene is in fact the temperature at which the 2d solid and the quasi-2d liquid phases are in equilibrium . looking at the snapshot in fig .
[ egamma]a , it can also be argued that before complete melting , when liquid nuclei start to form in the solid sheet , the liquid phase remains connected with the solid sheet at the edges of the nucleus , constraining it to stay within quasi-2d configurations .
the importance of assuming the existence of a quasi-2d liquid phase with its own thermodynamic properties is that it allows us to formulate a nucleation theory for the melting of a 2d solid embedded in 3d space , the case of graphene .
if the melting can only take place via this intermediate , quasi-2d liquid phase , then this intermediate phase is decisive for the location of the melting temperature of graphene . for the analysis of melting in terms of nucleation theory we performed two series of simulations : simulations at constant temperature and simulations applying a linear temperature ramp .
to assess the accuracy of our approach , we will compare classical nucleation theory ( cnt ) and kinetic nucleation theory ( knt ) , as described hereafter .
we use lcbopii @xcite for the interatomic interactions , as in ref .
we point out that the melting temperature of graphite according to lcbopii has been accurately determined to be 4250 k @xcite . for the application of cnt to melting in 2d , we write the work @xmath20 done to form a quasi-2d liquid nucleus of radius @xmath21 as : @xmath22 where @xmath23 is the chemical potential difference per particle between the quasi-2d liquid phase and the solid phase , and @xmath24 is the solid - liquid interface free energy .
note that @xmath25 is the number of liquid particles inside the nucleus , which should indeed grow as @xmath26 due to the 2d geometry of the solid . for @xmath27 , @xmath28 and @xmath29
has a maximum at the critical nucleus size with radius @xmath30 equal to @xmath31 . using the thermodynamic relation @xmath32 , with @xmath33 and @xmath34 the melting enthalpy ( latent heat ) and melting entropy per particle respectively
, the nucleation probability is derived to be : @xmath35 where @xmath36 is a kinetic prefactor , @xmath37 and we defined @xmath38 .
if the melting is dominated by nucleation , then the average time @xmath39 required for melting to occur is given by the solution of the equation : @xmath40 where @xmath41 is the number of ( super)critical nuclei at time @xmath42 .
at constant temperature @xmath43 , eq .
[ nnucl ] simplifies to @xmath44 . instead
, if the system is slowly heated at a heating rate @xmath45 , such that @xmath46 , we have to solve eq .
[ nnucl ] numerically for @xmath47 .
the temperature at which melting is expected , @xmath48 , is then readily obtained from @xmath49 . in principle , cnt does not specify neither the prefactor @xmath36 nor its temperature dependence .
therefore , we take @xmath50 constant in our simulation analysis based on cnt .
nucleation is then determined by three parameters : @xmath51 , @xmath50 and @xmath3 .
expressions for the temperature dependence of the kinetic prefactor belong to the domain of kinetic nucleation theory ( knt ) , which allows us to perform a more accurate analysis .
the starting point of knt @xcite is quite different from that of cnt .
knt assumes a ( liquid ) cluster size distribution ( csd ) governed by a coupled set of master equations with appropriate boundary conditions . in cnt , the csd is proportional to @xmath52 so that it has a minimum for clusters of the critical nucleus radius @xmath53 , where @xmath54 is maximal , while it increases exponentially beyond the critical size .
the latter prediction is clearly unphysical . in knt , this unphysical behavior is avoided by requiring the csd to satisfy the boundary condition @xmath55 , where @xmath56 is the number of clusters that incorporate all @xmath57 atoms of the system . eventually , knt leads to a stationary state nucleation rate given by : @xmath58 where @xmath59 is the attachment rate for a particle to join a nucleus of the critical size , @xmath60 is the so - called zeldovich factor and @xmath51 as defined before .
the attachment rate can be expressed as : @xmath61 where @xmath62 ( with @xmath63 the planck constant ) is an attempt frequency at some reference temperature @xmath64 , which we choose to be @xmath65 k , @xmath66 accounts for the number of perimeter sites around a critical nucleus with @xmath67 and @xmath68 a geometrical factor , while @xmath69 is an activation energy barrier for the attachment process . for a circular nucleus
, the number of perimeter sites is given by @xmath70 where @xmath71 is the width of one atomic layer ( or shell ) , whence @xmath72 .
following ref .
@xcite , the zeldovich factor @xmath73 for our 2d case is found to be : @xmath74 comparing the parameters in knt to those in cnt , and noting that @xmath75 replaces @xmath50 in cnt , there are two additional parameters : @xmath33 and @xmath69 .
however , @xmath33 can directly be obtained from the simulations as the melting energy ( at zero pressure ) : @xmath76 ev ( see fig . [
egamma]b ) .
the activation energy barrier @xmath69 is typically a few ev , implying that the temperature dependence introduced by @xmath77 is rather weak within the temperature range of interest and has only a very minor effect ( as we verified ) .
we have taken @xmath69 = 2.6 ev fixed , equal to the activation energy for diffusion in a mixed sp - sp@xmath78 carbon liquid , as found with lcbopii @xcite .
comparison of the average , observed melting temperature , @xmath79 , of bulk graphene ( 1008 atoms with pbcs ) as a function of the heating rate obtained from md ( blue diamonds ) and mc ( red triangles ) simulations after calibration , using lcbopii without the middle range interactions .
error bars are based on 48 independent simulations .
lines are guides to the eye . ]
lcbopii include short range ( covalent ) , long range ( van der waals ) and middle range ( mr ) interactions @xcite .
the latter contribution is a correction that improves the reactive properties and , by construction , does not affect the equilibrium carbon structures at low @xmath14 .
since many simulations were required to obtain sufficient statistics , and the use of the full potential including the mr part is computationally demanding for molecular dynamics ( md ) simulations , we have performed mc simulations .
following ref .
, we then assume that time is proportional to the number of mc cycles @xmath80 ( one cycle being @xmath57 trial moves ) so that @xmath81 where @xmath82 is a time calibration factor assumed to be constant within a limited temperature range provided that the acceptance rate is kept constant . to assess the validity and accuracy of this approximation
, we also performed molecular dynamics simulations , but without the mr part of the lcbopii for the sake of feasibility , and compared the results to those from mc simulations using the same potential ( i.e. lcbopii without the mr part ) .
the mc and md simulations were performed applying a linear temperature ramp . in the md simulations
the temperature was raised by using the berendson thermostat and scaling the velocities at every time step , while in the mc simulations the temperature was raised every 5 mc cycles .
we considered a series of heating rates , and for each of them the average @xmath83 was determined from 48 independent simulations . for each simulation , @xmath48 was determined by the intersection of the @xmath13 curve with the horizontal line at @xmath84 = 0.2 ( see fig . [ egamma]a ) .
plotting the average @xmath83 as a function of @xmath45 , a very good agreement between the md and mc results was obtained by applying a time calibration factor equal to @xmath85 ps / cycle , as is shown in fig .
[ mc - md - nomr ] .
we note that for the determination of @xmath0 using nucleation theory , it is sufficient that @xmath86 holds and we do not need @xmath82 .
symbols : a ) and c ) average melting temperature @xmath87 as a function of the mc heating rate @xmath88 and b ) and d ) mc time @xmath89 required for melting at isothermal conditions as a function of temperature .
the error bars are based on at least 48 independent simulations , but those for the isothermal simulations at 4750 , 4800 and 4850 k are based on 96 simulations .
the solid ( red ) curves represent simultaneous best fits of both sets of simulation data based on predictions by cnt ( a and b ) and knt ( c and d ) . ]
we apply the cnt and knt described in the previous section to evaluate @xmath3 of a bulk graphene system consisting of @xmath151008 atoms with pbcs as in fig .
[ egamma ] . in fig .
[ tmfromnt ] we present the results of two sets of systematic mc simulations , including simulations heating the system at a rate @xmath88 and isothermal simulations . in view of the large variations in the respective , observed melting temperature @xmath87 and time required for melting , @xmath89
, at least 48 independent simulations were performed in all cases , in order to obtain good statistical averages .
best fits to all 13 data points were then determined by using the described cnt and knt approaches , with fitting parameters @xmath50 ( or @xmath90 in the case of knt ) , @xmath51 and @xmath0 . in both cases
good agreement was obtained , with estimates for @xmath0 equal to 4450 and 4510 k according to cnt and knt respectively .
this relatively small difference shows that the exponential factor dominates the nucleation rate and that the role of the temperature dependence of the prefactor in knt is limited .
since knt is more accurate , we conclude that @xmath91 k. from @xmath51 we find @xmath92 ev / . a b a ) snapshot at 4300 k , illustrating edge melting of a graphene disk containing 1274 atoms heated at a rate of 2.5 10@xmath93 k / cycle .
b ) snapshot illustrating the recrystallization after cooling the system in a ) from 4300 to 3800 k. c ) melting curves for different graphene disk sizes : 1 ) 714 , 2 ) 1274 , 3 ) 2470 , 4 ) 3820 and 5 ) 8020 atoms . for the latter cluster ,
melting curves from 4 independent simulations are drawn but they are almost overlapping .
the crossing dashed lines illustrate the method used to define the melting temperature @xmath94 of a disk .
d ) best fit ( red line ) according to eq .
[ tmd ] of the average simulated disk melting temperatures ( symbols ) .
the error bars are based on 4 independent simulations.,title="fig : " ] a ) snapshot at 4300 k , illustrating edge melting of a graphene disk containing 1274 atoms heated at a rate of 2.5 10@xmath93 k / cycle .
b ) snapshot illustrating the recrystallization after cooling the system in a ) from 4300 to 3800 k. c ) melting curves for different graphene disk sizes : 1 ) 714 , 2 ) 1274 , 3 ) 2470 , 4 ) 3820 and 5 ) 8020 atoms . for the latter cluster , melting curves from 4 independent simulations are drawn but they are almost overlapping .
the crossing dashed lines illustrate the method used to define the melting temperature @xmath94 of a disk .
d ) best fit ( red line ) according to eq .
[ tmd ] of the average simulated disk melting temperatures ( symbols ) .
the error bars are based on 4 independent simulations.,title="fig : " ] a ) snapshot at 4300 k , illustrating edge melting of a graphene disk containing 1274 atoms heated at a rate of 2.5 10@xmath93 k / cycle .
b ) snapshot illustrating the recrystallization after cooling the system in a ) from 4300 to 3800 k. c ) melting curves for different graphene disk sizes : 1 ) 714 , 2 ) 1274 , 3 ) 2470 , 4 ) 3820 and 5 ) 8020 atoms . for the latter cluster ,
melting curves from 4 independent simulations are drawn but they are almost overlapping .
the crossing dashed lines illustrate the method used to define the melting temperature @xmath94 of a disk .
d ) best fit ( red line ) according to eq .
[ tmd ] of the average simulated disk melting temperatures ( symbols ) .
the error bars are based on 4 independent simulations.,title="fig : " ]
searching for verfication of the result from knt , we also performed simulations of the melting of a series of roughly circular graphene disks of increasing size .
typically , their melting temperature , @xmath94 , increases as a function of cluster size , as was already demonstrated for small graphene flakes ( @xmath95 ) in ref . .
according to the pavlov model @xcite specified below , @xmath94 deviates from @xmath0 by a finite size correction that vanishes with the inverse radius of the disk , allowing for the determination of @xmath0 by extrapolation .
it should be noticed , however , that the analysis of the disk simulations is arguable because @xmath94 is not rigorously defined and the pavlov model does not consider edge melting . for a disk , nucleation is not required and the melting starts at the edge , as illustrated in fig .
[ tmfromtmcl]a . according to cnt
there is no barrier for nucleation at a 1d edge , which is rough at any @xmath14 .
therefore there is little variation in @xmath94 from different simulations , as is illustrated by the almost overlapping melting curves from 4 independent simulations for the cluster with 8020 atoms in fig [ tmfromtmcl]c .
interestingly , the melting process is reversible to some extent , as long as there are still solid parts in the system . in fig .
[ tmfromtmcl]b we show the recrystallization that has occurred after the system in fig .
[ tmfromtmcl]a was slowly cooled from 4300 to 3800 k. an appropriate approach to analyse our simulation data for disks would be a 2d version of pavlov s model @xcite .
writing the free energy of the solid ( @xmath96 ) and quasi-2d liquid ( @xmath97 ) disk as @xmath98 for @xmath99 , with @xmath100 the number of particles in the solid / liquid disk , @xmath101 their radii and @xmath102 the respective edge free energies of their interfaces with the vacuum , and imposing equality of the chemical potentials through @xmath103 leads to the following correction for the melting temperature of a finite disk : @xmath104 where @xmath105 accounts for the 2d density difference between solid and liquid .
the results of the disk simulations are summarized in fig .
[ tmfromtmcl ] . a clear trend in @xmath94 as a function of @xmath106 is observed and a best fit based on eq .
[ tmd ] yields @xmath107 k , a value very close to that derived from knt , and @xmath108 0.58 ev / . with an ( average ) value of @xmath109 1.05 ev / for a graphene ribbon from ref .
@xcite and taking @xmath110 we find @xmath111 ev / .
these edge energies , and also @xmath92 ev / from knt reported above , are physically sound , with @xmath112 .
for further verification of our result for @xmath0 , we have also performed constant temperature melting simulations of a graphene ribbon .
we used a ribbon of a size @xmath113 = 51.12 @xmath114 103.23 @xmath78 containing 2016 atoms with pbc only in the x - direction . for this geometry , as for the disks , the melting proceeds from the free edges , as shown in fig .
[ ribmlt]a , and there is no nucleation barrier . a b a ) snapshot of a melting ribbon consisting of 2016 atom at @xmath14 = 4500 k. b ) the simulated melting speed ( symbols ) , @xmath115 , as a function of the temperature @xmath14 for a graphene ribbon .
the inset shows the fraction of liquid particles @xmath116 as a function of @xmath117 for various simulation temperatures as indicated .
for the completely liquid phase @xmath118 as many particle still have a @xmath119 due to a rather isotropic neighbor surrounding.,title="fig:",width=102 ] a ) snapshot of a melting ribbon consisting of 2016 atom at @xmath14 = 4500 k. b ) the simulated melting speed ( symbols ) , @xmath115 , as a function of the temperature @xmath14 for a graphene ribbon .
the inset shows the fraction of liquid particles @xmath116 as a function of @xmath117 for various simulation temperatures as indicated . for the completely liquid phase @xmath118 as many particle still have a @xmath119 due to a rather isotropic neighbor surrounding.,title="fig : " ] in this case of a straight edge
, the melting speed , @xmath120 with @xmath121 the number of liquid particles , which we define as the number of particles with @xmath122 , is expected to behave as @xmath123 , where @xmath124 is the number of sites at the solid - liquid interface and @xmath125 . since @xmath126 , the melting speed can be well approximated as : @xmath127 where we have defined @xmath128 as the fraction of liquid particles . in fig .
[ ribmlt]b we have plotted @xmath129 as a function of @xmath130 obtained from simulations ( symbols ) . the intersection of a best linear fit according to eq . [ dnldt ] for @xmath131
k with the horizontal axis yields @xmath132 4505 k , very close to the previously found values .
it has to be noticed , however , that the results for @xmath133 4400 , 4450 and 4500 do not follow the linear law , as the system actually melts for these temperatures .
although finite size effects might play a role here , maybe the most important reason is that chain - like molecular units evaporate from the liquid edges , as illustrated in fig .
[ ribmlt]a .
since equilibrium in the present case is characterized by a liquid edge of fixed average width , evaporation must lead to a thinner and thinner solid core and finally to complete melting . to deal with this issue properly would require to consider a three phase equilibrium . from the simulation results for @xmath134 4500 k , using eq .
[ dnldt ] and the previously found time calibration factor @xmath135 ps / cycle , one can directly determine the attempt frequency @xmath136 .
we find @xmath137 hz , which is quite reasonable when comparing it to @xmath138 hz .
by analyzing systematic simulations we have shown that the melting of pristine bulk graphene , a prototype 2d solid embedded in 3d space , follows a two - stage scenario of which the first step from the 2d solid to a quasi-2d liquid phase is well described by nucleation theory for first order phase transitions . as a consequence
, graphene has an unambiguously defined bulk melting temperature @xmath0 , found to be 4510 k using the interatomic potential lcbopii . this value is confirmed by simulations for finite disks and ribbons , which by extrapolation yield @xmath139 s close to that from nucleation theory , and show reversibility to some extent .
our finding that @xmath0 is higher ( about 250 degrees ) than for graphite is not likely to be an artifact of lcbopii . as a qualitative explanation we suggest that the increased stability of graphene is due to a significant positive entropy contribution for the solid phase due to the possibility of relatively large out - of - plane fluctuations ( rippling ) at low energy costs , as compared to the situation in graphite .
we expect that the melting scenario found for graphene applies to any covalent 2d material .
this expectation is supported by recent melting simulations for 2d mos@xmath140 , showing coexistence of the 2d solid and liquid phase during melting @xcite , as we observed for graphene .
while measuring @xmath0 for graphene seems to be a real challenge , measurement of @xmath0 becomes easier for 2d material with a ( much ) lower @xmath0 than that of graphene .
@xmath141.the research leading to these results has received funding from the european union seventh framework programme under grant agreement n604391 graphene flagship and from the foundation for fundamental research on matter ( fom ) , which is part of the netherlands organisation for scientific research ( nwo ) .
we thank luca ghiringhelli for useful discussions .
a 5775 stone - wales ( sw ) defect can be created in a perfect graphene layer by rotating a single bond by 90 degrees , followed by a geometrical relaxation of the system ( see fig . [
conf5775]a ) .
it consists of two adjacent 57 defects . by subsequently rotating another appropriate bond by 90 degrees ( and relaxing the system ) , the 5775 sw defects can be split into two 57 defects separated by one pair of hexagons , as shown in fig .
[ conf5775]b .
this process can be repeated to separate the 57 defects more and more , as shown in fig .
[ conf5775]c and d. the total formation energy as a function of the separation between the ( 57 ) defects according to lcbopii is given in fig .
[ e5775 ] and shows that it strongly increases with distance .
similar behaviour was previously reported in ref .
@xcite , but in that case the 57 defects were created at grain boundaries in a polycrystalline sheet . in the latter work it was shown that the formation energies according to lcbopii are in very good agreement with those calculated _ ab initio _ within dft .
the strongly increasing energy implies that the pathway to disorder by the splitting of a sw defects into two 57 defects and their subsequent further diffusion , a scenario in agreement with the kthny theory , is very unfavorable .
indeed , we never observed separated 57 defects in our simulations .
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Does switching a laser on create multiple frequencies?
I have been fascinated by a [Sixty Symbols YouTube video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OOmSyaoAt0) on the topic of the maximum bandwidth that can be sent down an optical cable. In summary, we are informed of how a laser, which emits red light of one frequency, only does so when it is permanently on. Turning it on or off causes nature to create new frequencies which somehow facilitate the wave being there when it's on, and not when it isn't.
Since I'm a musician, I can place a loudspeaker in a medium such as air, and connect it to a sine wave generator in series with a switch. When the switch is open, no sound is generated, but close the switch and the loudspeaker outputs a sine wave. If I were to close the switch precisely when the phase was zero, surely there are no added frequencies other than the one in question which "turns the sound on", and likewise for "turning it off".
I think that this would not be the case for a sine wave at any other phase, as a 'pulse' or 'jolt' is needed to force the loudspeaker into the correct position when opening or closing the switch. I believe this causes the loudspeaker itself to generate odd harmonics for a brief period of time, as though it were being driven by the rising edge of a square wave. (That click/snap sound when attaching DC to a loudspeaker, also known as a Dirac delta function?)
I do not understand how this fits into using a laser of one frequency and sending 'pulses'. One comment on the video seemed to contradict it by asking what would happen if a filter was applied to the laser for its exact frequency, and whether that would cause the filter to always be letting light through like the laser was on, even if it was actually off.
It sounds like he's trying to describe sending the kind of pulse analogous to a square wave of sound which requires you to drive the transducer with multiple frequencies. It must be easier to detect a pulse if the amplitude ramps up quickly, but surely you're definitely not using a one frequency laser anymore to achieve that.
Q: Please can you shed some light onto how a laser being 'pulsed' actually works with respect to bandwidth used? And is the analogy with sound valid?
>
> If I were to close the switch precisely when the phase was zero,
> surely there are no added frequencies other than the one in question
> which "turns the sound on", and likewise for "turning it off".
>
>
>
I made more or less this same statement to the professor in one of my undergraduate EM classes.
He gently reminded me that this zero crossing switched on/off sinusoid is equivalent to the product of a genuine sinusoid (over all time, never stopping etc.) and a [boxcar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxcar_function) function.
As soon as he made that statement, I knew how to go the rest of the way since I had already studied Fourier transforms and, in particular, that (1) the Fourier transform of the product of two time domain signals is the convolution of their respective frequency domain representations and (2) the Fourier transform of the boxcar function extends over all frequencies,
Further, and simply put, a time domain signal with compact support (non-zero over a finite time) is necessarily non-zero over all frequencies. See, for example, [this answer](https://dsp.stackexchange.com/a/29903) at the Signal Processing Stack Exchange site:
>
> In other words, a (nonzero) time-limited signal cannot be also
> band-limited. In other words, a function and its (continuous) Fourier
> transform cannot both have finite support.
>
>
>
| stackexchange/physics |
German submarine U-1227 was a Type IXC/40 U-boat of Nazi Germany's Kriegsmarine during World War II.
The submarine was laid down on 1 February 1942 at the Deutsche Werft yard at Hamburg, launched on 18 September 1943, and commissioned on 8 December 1943 under the command of Oberleutnant zur See Friedrich Altmeier. The U-boat then served with 31st U-boat Flotilla, a training unit, with 2nd U-boat Flotilla from 1 August to 31 December 1944, and with 33rd U-boat Flotilla from 1 January to 10 April 1945.
Design
German Type IXC/40 submarines were slightly larger than the original Type IXCs. U-1227 had a displacement of when at the surface and while submerged. The U-boat had a total length of , a pressure hull length of , a beam of , a height of , and a draught of . The submarine was powered by two MAN M 9 V 40/46 supercharged four-stroke, nine-cylinder diesel engines producing a total of for use while surfaced, two Siemens-Schuckert 2 GU 345/34 double-acting electric motors producing a total of for use while submerged. She had two shafts and two propellers. The boat was capable of operating at depths of up to .
The submarine had a maximum surface speed of and a maximum submerged speed of . When submerged, the boat could operate for at ; when surfaced, she could travel at . U-1227 was fitted with six torpedo tubes four fitted at the bow and two at the stern, 22 torpedoes, one SK C/32 naval gun, 180 rounds, and a Flak M42 as well as two twin C/30 anti-aircraft guns. The boat had a complement of forty-eight.
Service history
U-1227 completed only one combat patrol, from 14 September to 26 December 1944. On 4 October 1944 she attempted to attack a convoy at night, but was seen in the bright moonlight and counter-attacked by convoy escorts. She torpedoed one of the escorts, the Canadian , during the pursuit. The frigate was a total loss, but the U-boat escaped and continued its patrol.
Fate
U-1227 was damaged at Kiel in a British night-bombing raid on 9 April 1945, and was decommissioned there on 10 April. U-1227 was scuttled to avoid capture on 3 May 1945.
Summary of raiding history
References
Notes
Citations
Bibliography
External links
Category:Ships built in Hamburg
Category:German Type IX submarines
Category:U-boats commissioned in 1943
Category:World War II submarines of Germany
Category:1943 ships
Category:Operation Regenbogen U-boat
Category:Maritime incidents in May 1945 | wikipedia |
The 2019-20 Holy Cross Crusaders men's ice hockey season was the 55th season of play for the program, the 22nd at the Division I level, and the 17th season in the Atlantic Hockey conference. The Crusaders represented the College of the Holy Cross and were coached by David Berard, in his 6th season.
Roster
As of July 12, 2019.
Standings
Schedule and Results
|-
!colspan=12 style=; | Exhibition
|-
!colspan=12 style=; | Regular Season
|-
!colspan=12 style=; |
|- align=center bgcolor=#e0e0e0
|colspan=12|Holy Cross Lost Series 12
Scoring Statistics
Goaltending statistics
Rankings
References
Category:Holy Cross Crusaders men's ice hockey seasons
Holy Cross Crusaders
Holy Cross Crusaders
Holy Cross Crusaders
Category:2019 in sports in Massachusetts
Category:2020 in sports in Massachusetts | wikipedia |
Welcome to the new look bride and groom magazine.
We've had a little facelift but within the 120 pages you'll find the same great content — real weddings, planning advice and fashion features.
You can pick up a copy at participating news agents: Benalla Newsagency; Cobram Newsagency; Elmore Newsagency; Echuca Authorised Newsagency; Katandra West General Store; Grills Newsagency, Kyabram; Merrigum Post Office and Store; Mooroopna Newsagency; Nathalia Newsagency; Numurkah Newsagency; Baker's Newsagency, Rochester; Seymour Telegraph Office; Seymour Newsagency; Goulburn Valley Newsagency, Shepparton; Lovell's Newsagency, Shepparton; Tatura Newsagency; Wren's General Store + Newsagency, Toolamba; Edgars Newsagency, Wangaratta; Yarrawonga Newsagency.
For me it is my first edition as editor and a merging of two passions.
While the other boys and girls dreamed of becoming firefighters and vets, when I grew up, I wanted to be a wedding dress designer.
I think I can blame watching The Parent Trap on repeat for that.
That childhood dream faded and I turned to journalism but I've always had a soft spot for weddings.
My Year 8 textiles teacher will be glad to hear the closest I'll ever get to designing a gown is organising a bride and groom photoshoot — get prepared to be blown away with what our creative team has put together.
You'll also find 14 real weddings including our cover couple Sarah Terry and Alistair Jacka.
Each time a submission lands in my inbox I get a little excited.
I love hearing your stories, pouring over the photos and getting to share them with our readers.
We have also put together a guide to hosting a wedding at home like Georgia Odgers and Tom Vibert.
Or if you're looking for something further afield there's our destination wedding feature.
featured. You'll find the submission form here. | slim_pajama |
Persona Series En el Mismo Cielo
En El mismo Cielo
Esa noche…todo pasó tan de prisa...la sombra apareció, ellos no. Fuuka los buscaba pero no había tiempo, al fin se fueron sin que Shinjiro y Ken llegaran… y luego qué? Enfrentar al enemigo con el corazón estrujándose de temor y un nudo en la garganta. Mientras ella y su equipo trataban de detener al monstruo, su mente estaba dividida, por un lado vigilando que todo fuera bien, cuidando de su grupo, dirigiendo el ataque a aquella sombra como buena capitana, pero por el otro… solo deseando que todo pasara, que todo estuviera bien en la mañana…pero ahora…
Minako no lo podía creer, todo eso tenía que ser una pesadilla, Ken llorando y gritando, Akihiko desesperado y Shinjiro en el suelo…yaciendo casi inerte en medio de la sangre…ahí estaba lo que tanto oprimía su pecho en la mañana, reflejado en la mayor tragedia que podía ocurrirle a ella…y las lágrimas amenazaron con brotar de sus ojos, pero tenía que ser fuerte…por sus amigos y por él, que no le viera llorar…y pese a toda su voluntad una a una pequeñas perlas saladas se deslizaban por sus mejillas…
"TU no puedes dejarme…"
Ese día Minako se había levantado con un nudo en la garganta, algo fuera de lo normal, tal vez porque la noche se venía pesada, hoy había luna llena… pero, realmente no solía sentirse así ante un jefe, era más bien como un mal presentimiento, como una corazonada de que algo terrible se avecinaba. Se miró al espejo y en medio de su belleza habitual sus ojos rojizos destellaban con leve preocupación…
-hasta la mirada me traiciona…-se dijo a si misma mientras salía de su recamara para empezar el día.
El día sin mucho mas como cualquier otro entre las actividades normales de ella, pero sin que ese sentimiento que se alojaba en su interior cediera terreno, aun más, acrecentaba con cada momento que pasaba. Y ahora que el sol casi se ocultaba le parecía insoportable. Sentía miedo de eso, se conocía a sí misma y sabía bien que era especial, que era capaz de percibir cosas que los demás no, y lo que ella percibía era que ese sentimiento no podía presagiar más que dolor y sufrimiento. Yukari se acercó a hablarle, preocupada por como lucía su líder y amiga
-Mina-chan te sientes bien? –preguntó agregando el "chan" al nombre de la muchacha, se sentía con esa confianza luego de lo mucho que Minako había hecho por ella
-has sentido que te cuesta respirar? Que tus manos están heladas y no sabes por qué?...-dijo suspirando mientras se dejaba caer en el sillón, Yukari le imitó sentándose a su lado
-pues a veces…
-así me siento… no se qué pasa. Es como una ansiedad, una corazonada…-Minako se llevó una mano al pecho
-tienes miedo?
-no. Es una sombra, un jefe más… es solo que…-en ese momento alguien atravesó la estancia para ir hacia la calle, Minako levantó la vista y sus ojos chocaron con la mirada de Shinjiro, este había girado para observarle y le sonrió de una forma dulce y misteriosa, siguiendo su camino luego, ella le siguió con la vista hasta que la puerta se hubo cerrado. Mantuvo un momento más sus ojos fijos en la entrada, como perdida, Yukari posó su mano en el hombro de la chica para que reaccionara
-Mina-chan?...
-uh?...-ella volteó a verle algo distraída todavía
-ocurrió algo con Shinjiro-sempai?
La chica se quedó callada un momento, su memoria voló a ese instante en el que decidió ir a su cuarto. Tras esas cuatro paredes ella había vivido los momentos más sublimes de toda su corta vida.
-le devolví su reloj…-contestó a la castaña. Yukari volvió a mirarle sabiendo que aquella respuesta llevaba mucho más detrás de esas palabras…
.
.
.
Hoy el día se le antojó melancólico, además de la sombra que venía otra cosa lo molestaba. Decidió ir a caminar un rato para disipar tanto mal pensamiento, odiaba cuando a veces su propia mente le traicionaba, y en medio de tantas cosas duras le recordaba la culpa que sentía por ese fatal accidente…sin embargo al pasar por la estancia hacia el exterior su mirada divisó a aquella chica sentada en el sillón, cuando sintió su mirada sobre él volteó a sonreírle, pero no pasó desapercibido que en sus ojos había algo distinto, no destellaban con esa chispa de alegría que solo Minako poseía, hoy, si bien estaban igual de hermosos y puros que siempre, reflejaban algo de tristeza y ansiedad.
-"parece que no soy el único…- pensó para sí al salir. No le gustaba que ella estuviera triste, no cuando Minako se había convertido en la mayor de sus alegrías. No cuando ella vino a poner orden en toda su vida, no cuando le había entregado el cuerpo y el alma…no cuando la amaba de esa manera.
"Yo No quiero dejarte…"
En un principio cuando ella dijo ir a su pieza él no estaba muy convencido pero en su mirada podía ver que tanto él como ella compartían un solo deseo, el de estar juntos. Pero Shinjiro se preocupaba, sabía bien que él no era la clase de hombre que Minako necesitaba, como dijo una vez "el no era precisamente un caballero" pero a ella eso le valía un cuerno. Y aún dentro de la habitación le dio la oportunidad de retractarse…y ella se quedó. Entonces él la rodeó con sus fuertes brazos…
"después no voy a poder detenerme" dijo antes de besarla y de perderse ambos en aquel momento único. Ni siquiera el castaño sabía que fue lo que le pasó con ella, solo que desde que la conoció su vida había cambiado, él mismo había cambiado. Logró ser un poco más abierto, recordó como sonreír, incluso la oscuridad de su vida se disipaba poco a poco. Con cada momento que pasaban juntos el aprendía algo mas, su vida era más llevadera, incluso logró que su estancia en la S.E.E.S. fuera agradable, aquella vez que cocinó todos estaban felices, y ese momento lo había hecho él…aunque fue Minako quien dijo hacer una fiesta.
Minako llegó a la eterna y sombría noche en su alma como una luna brillante disipando las tinieblas…
Y ahora podía verla…con las lágrimas recorriendo su rostro, su suave piel de terciopelo que una vez sus labios besaron. Ken lloraba, en realidad no lo deseaba, no comprendía como el no dudó en dar su vida a cambio de la del pequeño, y como aún después hablaba con Akihiko-sempai y le encargaba su bienestar "cuida de él" le dijo. Y Ken sentía que toda esa tragedia era culpa suya…
-esto es como debe ser…-le dijo al niño para que entendiera. De todos modos pasaría…el tarde o temprano se iría, si no por eso por los efectos de las pastillas supresoras, pero solo una cosa estaba dejando pendiente…- No llores Minako…
Le susurró a la muchacha y ella limpió a prisa las lágrimas y le regaló una sonrisa, trató que fuera como las de siempre, pero la tristeza que la invadía era inmensa… faltaban unos minutos para que acabase la hora oscura, pero no tendrían el tiempo suficiente, Minako no podía soportarlo, como con tanto poder en sus manos no era capaz de salvar al hombre que amaba? Donde estaba entonces su fuerza?...
"Quédate a mi lado…"
Lograron llevarle al hospital pasada la hora oscura, todos rogaron al cielo que él pudiera librarla, esa noche de pesadilla nadie volvió a decir una palabra…al final los médicos dijeron que estaba vivo. El aliento regresó a Minako cuando lo supo. Vivo…Shinjiro estaba vivo. Fue un milagro. Aunque dijeron que pocas posibilidades habían de que abriera los ojos, ella sabía que lo lograría, que un día Shinji despertaría y volverían a estar juntos. Aún así…era tan doloroso…
La mañana siguiente toda la escuela lo sabía, algunos se asombraron otros ni importancia le dieron, no era que él frecuentara el colegio de todos modos. Y ella seguía con ese nudo en la garganta, reprimiendo toda esa angustia que la turbaba. Sabía que Akihiko fue a verle primero, pese a que debió ser ella, pero no encontró las fuerzas. Tenía la entereza suficiente de plantarse inmutable frente a la más horrible sombra pero no podía soportar ver a su amado tendido en una cama rodeado de aparatos raros que monitoreaban cada segundo que seguía con vida.
Ella decidió ir en la tarde. Tal vez no le dejasen pasar pero ya se las ingeniaría, si Akihiko pudo ella también. Logró entrar a su cuarto y lo vio tendido en la cama, con esos aparatos checando el débil ritmo cardiaco. Su rostro estaba pálido y respiraba con dificultad ayudado del respirador, Minako se cubrió la boca con una mano como si tratara de detener la angustia que iba a desbordársele por la boca en forma de sollozos, lentamente caminó hacia él y se sentó despacito a su lado. Acarició su rostro con todo el amor que sentía por él, como dolía verle en ese estado, hubiera dado todo por que despertara en ese mismo momento, pero sus ojos no se abrieron. Ella tomó su mano con cariño…
-no me dejes Shinjiro…-susurró mas para sí que nada- por favor…yo, yo…
Entonces la puerta se abrió y Akihiko entró por ella sorprendiéndose un poco al ver a la joven líder junto a su amigo, cogiendo su mano y con los ojos vidriosos
-Minako?...
-Akihiko-sempai…-ella trató de sonar lo más tranquila y natural posible- no te esperaba a esta hora…
-pues…-el no supo que contestar, de todos modos no debía estar ahí, había ido en la mañana y con eso debía ser suficiente, pero simplemente no estaba tranquilo, aunque tampoco pensó en que hallaría aquí a esa chica que le había flechado, y mucho menos cogiendo de la mano a Shinji
-que haces aquí Minako?, no te informó Mitsuru de las condiciones de Shinji?...-ella soltó la mano del castaño y le miró
-S-si…sí lo hizo sempai. Pero…pero no estaba tranquila, tenía que verle! Tenía que…- calló súbitamente al sentir de nuevo esa angustia en la garganta, un pequeño sollozo se escapó de sus labios y luego de eso nada.
-Minako…-el joven clavó su vista en la muchacha, en el esfuerzo sobrehumano que hacía por no echarse a llorar ahí mismo, como apretaba los puños sobre su regazo hasta casi enterrarse las uñas. Ella era la líder, la guía, la que encaraba a las sombras y dirigía sus pasos, sabía que para Minako era una falta de respeto hacia ellos mostrarse débil, sobre todo frente a su equipo, quienes depositaron su confianza en la chica.
Akihiko era muy malo con eso de tratar con las damas, y era mucho peor en el terreno sentimental ,como no iba a serlo si hacía apenas unos días había notado que se había enamorado de la líder, pero esa imagen le abría los ojos de golpe, ella ahí, junto a Shinjiro, cogiendo su mano y con la expresión más angustiada y triste que él jamás hubiera visto en la chica…Minako estaba enamorada de otro, que no era sino el mismo Shinjiro Aragaki, el que ahora estaba tendido en esa cama en estado de coma…
fue entonces que Akihiko por fin comprendió todo el dolor que ella llevaba dentro, que ni siquiera había expresado…debía estar desgarrándose el alma por dentro y anoche fueron a penas una pequeñas lágrimas… cuando Shinji le dijo "No llores Minako" ella se apresuró a limpiarlas y sonreírle. Como fue capaz? Cuando Akihiko perdió a Miki tardó meses en volver a sonreír…recordó haber llorado, gritado de dolor, de angustia, de impotencia…no fue esa la razón que lo hizo encerrarse en el entrenamiento? Obsesionarse con ser mas fuerte? Quería no volver a pasar por ello, no perder de nuevo a nadie! Entonces entendió cuanta fortaleza tenía aquella chica, que viendo a la persona que amaba a punto de morir ayer, y ahora en estado de coma, simplemente había derramado un par de lágrimas…
Minako se levantó de su silla un poco preocupada, por breves momentos dejó a Shinjiro en otro plano y se centró en su sempai. Akihiko se había quedado mirándole largo rato sin decir nada, con una expresión extraña, que ni ella misma fue capaz de adivinar lo que el joven pensaba o sentía, y eso le preocupaba
-Akihiko-sempai?...te encuentras bien?...-el salió de sus pensamientos cuando vio a la muchacha frente a él con el rostro preocupado. Todavía con todo ese dolor encima Minako tenía tiempo para preocuparse por otros? Le miró de nuevo, sus ojos mostraban nerviosismo, la mano de la muchacha se posó en su mejilla y el saltó ante el contacto, ya sabía que sus sentimientos eran para otro pero no podía evitarlo, él la amaba…y ahora ella estaba preocupada, no por Shinji, sino por él…
Minako se sobresaltó al sentir como su sempai la rodeaba con sus brazos y la apretaba suavemente contra su pecho, sin saber que pasaba, estaba sorprendida pero no rompió el contacto. Era tan cálido…
-es suficiente Mina…-le susurró cariñosamente el joven- ya es suficiente…
Al escuchar la voz de Akihiko hablarle de tan dulce forma ella no pudo evitar sollozar y más aún cuando la había llamado de esa manera…Mina…con esa confianza que solo sus verdaderos amigos tenían con ella. el muchacho acarició su cabello, tratando de consolar a la chica, Minako se aferró a su camisa aun ahogando ese llanto que no dejaba correr, pero no pudo contenerlo más tiempo y poco a poco pequeñas lágrimas fueron deslizándose por sus mejillas, mojando ligeramente la ropa de Akihiko…para luego convertirse en llanto desbordado…
-Akihiko-sempai…yo…-Mina trataba de reponerse pero simplemente no podía…y tampoco le agradaba mostrarse débil, sobre todo frente al chico.
-tranquila…todo va a estar bien. – Akihiko le hizo mirarle y secó con cuidado unas lagrimas del hermoso rostro de Minako- Shinji es fuerte… además, te tiene a ti…que mejor medicina que tu amor puede pedir?
-Sempai…
el joven le sonrió levemente, pero con un deje de tristeza en la mirada, le había dolido al alma pronunciar esas palabras, porque el también la amaba… y por lo mismo no podía, no soportaba verle sufrir Shinjiro tenía que reponerse a toda costa, sino por él, por ella, porque Minako le esperaba...
fue largo el rato que la tuvo entre sus brazos, la joven líder encontró en el pecho del muchacho un lugar donde desahogar todo ese dolor que llevaba por dentro, y lo agradecía infinitamente. Ya un poco más tranquila pudo encontrar el coraje para mirarle a los ojos
-estas mejor?- preguntó el guapo muchacho
-sí... muchas gracias Sempai...-ella le regaló una ligera sonrisa y Akihiko no pudo evitar pensar que aun en ese estado era encantadora. Minako era simplemente Unica.
-deberíamos volver al dormitorio, si los médicos nos ven habrá problemas...
Ella asintió y antes de irse se acercó a la cama donde Shinjiro dormía y posó un tierno beso en la frente del castaño. Le miró un momento y una inesperada sonrisa afloró en su rostro, algo en su corazón se encendió como una llama de esperanza, y ella sabía por qué. y fue gracias a Akihiko que pudo darse cuenta... él estaría bien. Un día despertaría, y volvería a sus brazos, y ese día sería el más feliz de toda su vida, porque volverían a encontrarse una vez más...
A partir de ese momento Minako siempre lo visitaba. Aunque estuviese ocupada hacía espacio cada día para poder verle, diario llegaba con una sonrisa, se sentaba a su lado y cogía su mano con cariño. Le hablaba, como si charlara con cualquier otro, le contaba del día a día y de los muchachos, y de lo mucho que todos esperaban que se repusiera... y antes de irse siempre posaba un beso en su frente o su mejilla y le recordaba que lo amaba. Qué feliz fue esa tarde cuando le quitaron por fin el respirador... pudo besar sus labios una vez más... una última vez...
.
.
.
Y luego esa tarde... esa última tarde... después que todo acabara finalmente se reencontraron. Él despertó y a penas pudo ponerse de pie salió corriendo a buscarla, a aquella joven que había visto en sus sueños mientras estuvo en el hospital, esa chica que con su dulce voz le hablaba con cariño pronunciándole solamente palabras de amor... esa que tomaba su mano y le recordaba que estaba ahí todos los días esperando el momento de volver a estar juntos...
-la chica que vi en mis sueños... eras tú...-le dijo tratando que la voz no se le cortara, tratando de ser fuerte igual que ella lo era
Ahora la tenía en sus brazos, mirándole con una pequeña sonrisa y los ojos cansados. Como deseó haber despertado antes, pasar con ella un poco más de tiempo, aunque fuera tan solo un día más... por un instante maldijo a la vida y al destino por querer arrancar a Minako de su vida, pero luego se arrepintió y en lugar de eso dio gracias...porque ese ángel en forma de mujer haya llegado a él. Minako le devolvió las ganas de vivir, le enseñó lo que era el amor ¿cómo dejarla ir entonces cuando la necesitaba como al aire?
Así en sus brazos ella cerró los ojos. No se arrepentía de nada, vivió, sonrió luchó y amó... pudo ver una última ve a ese hombre que tanto amaba, mirándole como siempre, de esa forma a la que solo a ella había mirado, el tacto cálido de sus fuertes brazos mientras le decía lo mucho que había significado para él ¿podía pedir algo más?... si no volvía a abrir los ojos no importaba, de cualquier modo ella ya había encontrado el paraíso al lado de ese joven, que importaba si se adelantaba un poco, de todos modos un día se reunirían.. .en el mismo cielo...
.
.
.
End file.
| fanfiction |
"KRAMER VS. KRAMER"
by
Robert Benton
FADE IN:
INT. OFFICE � ADVERTISING AGENCY � MIDTOWN � EVENING
WIDE SHOT
A large and very comfortable office over-looking St. Patrick's
Cathedral. At the moment the office is filled to bursting
with men and women, slumped in chairs, sitting on desks, all
of them very tense. Among the crowd of people we note: MURRAY
FISHER, a young and very ambitious junior executive and
PHYLLIS BERNARD, an attractive woman in her early thirties.
She is a lawyer with the agency.
At the moment, TED KRAMER, nice-looking without being what
you would call a matinee idol, paces back and forth. His tie
is loosened, he checks his watch every fifteen seconds.
Clearly he is very distraught.
TED
(predicting the worst)
They're not gonna call... I tell you
they're not gonna call. I blew it. I
don't know what I did wrong, but I �
REVERSE ON JIM O'CONNOR
Ted's boss and good friend. He is in his middle fifties,
nattily dressed with the slightly bleary look of a heavy
drinker. He sits back in his chair with his feet propped on
the desk and a drink in one hand.
O'CONNOR
(not unfriendly)
Ted, will you take it easy? Revlon's
not about to drop an account that
represents more than two million in
gross billing receipts in a small
agency like this, without making us
sweat. Now just relax, okay?
Everything's gonna be fine.
TED
(at this stage, nothing
will help)
I don't think so, Jim. Maybe I
shouldn't have �
Sound-effect: The phone rings. Everyone freezes. As O'Connor
reaches for the phone,
CUT TO:
INT. CHILD'S ROOM, KRAMER APT. � EVENING
The room is dark, the only light coming from a small night
light.
We SEE a beautiful five year old boy (BILLY KRAMER). He lies
in bed, half asleep. HOLD FOR A BEAT as a beautiful woman
(JOANNA KRAMER) leans over, kisses the child and hugs him
tightly to her.
JOANNA
(intense)
I love you, Billy...
BILLY
(drowsy)
I love you too, mommy... Good-night...
ON JOANNA
She gets up from the bed and starts toward the door of the
child's room.
JOANNA
Sleep tight...
BILLY
Don't let the bedbugs bite...
Joanna stops in the doorway, silhouetted against the light.
She turns, takes a last look at her son, then steps outside.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY � EVENING
ON JOANNA
Now that the light is brighter, we can SEE her more clearly.
In her mid-thirties, she is beautiful, dressed in a style
that can best be described as Bloomingdale's. HOLD FOR A
BEAT as she leans against the door. It is clear from her
expression that she is terribly upset. Then, making up her
mind, she crosses to a closet and takes out a suitcase.
THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH HER as she carries it into the bedroom,
lays it out on the bed and opens it.
PAN WITH HER as she crosses to a closet, grabs an armload of
clothes and dumps them helter-skelter into the suitcase.
CUT TO:
INT. O'CONNOR'S OFFICE � EVENING
It is a few minutes later, the news has obviously been good
because there is a general celebration in progress.
Jim O'Connor, now standing, raises one hand for silence,
then making a toast.
O'CONNOR
Here's to Ted Kramer.
Cheers and good-natured jokes.
O'CONNOR
(putting an arm around
Ted squeezing him
tight)
I wanna tell you something about
this little runt. He went out there
and sold the shit out of Revlon and
that's why we got the account. It
was his idea, it was his concept,
right down the line...
More hoots and cheers. People start to yell "Speech."
TED
(embarrassed, but
cannot stop grinning)
All I can say... All I can say is
this is maybe one of the five best
days of my whole life...
CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM � KRAMER APT. � EVENING
Joanna stands at the medicine cabinet, going through it,
packing things in a travel kit: rollers, deodorant, makeup,
birth control pills. She starts to take a small bottle of
perfume that has only an eighth of an inch of fluid left
inside, hesitates, then puts it back.
CUT TO:
INT. O'CONNOR'S OFFICE � EVENING
Now some time has passed, most of the crowd has gone and
only the regulars are left.
TED
(in the middle of a
story)
So anyway Jim and I are making the
pitch, right? And all of a sudden
this old guy starts to cough and I
keep on going and he keeps on coughing
and I keep on going and he keeps on
coughing and �
Murray Fisher leans over, shakes Ted's hand.
MURRAY
(interrupting)
Congratulations, Ted. That was a
hell of a job.
TED
(surprised)
Where you goin' Murray, it's early?
MURRAY
Got to get home.
TED
(glancing at his watch)
Oh, Christ, I'm late... I gotta get
out of here.
(however, instead of
going, he settles
back and resumes his
story)
So anyway, I look over and this old
geezer is starting to turn blue and
I swear to God the only thing I can
think about is that this poor
sonofabitch is gonna die on me and
screw up the pitch.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN � KRAMER APT. � EVENING
INSERT: A long and meticulous list that Joanna is making out
of the phone numbers and addresses of doctors and hospitals,
of what the various medicines are for, and of the foods that
Billy is and isn't permitted to eat.
WIDER ANGLE
As Joanna puts the finishing touches on the list and carefully
arranges it on top of the kitchen counter next to a box of
unsweetened, whole grain cereal and a jar of honey.
Note: It is this same set of notes that Ted will later
unthinkingly throw away.
CUT TO:
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING � MIDTOWN � NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
As the doors to the outer lobby open and Ted and O'Connor
appear.
Ted starts to hail a cab, O'Connor stops him.
O'CONNOR
Hey, what's the rush? C'mon, walk me
a couple of blocks.
TED
Jim, I've got to go. I'm already
late �
O'CONNOR
Listen, Ted... I just want to tell
you, when old man Schmidt retires
next year, I've got a pretty good
feeling they'll kick me upstairs...
He turns and starts to walk off down the street, Ted, of
course, follows.
O'CONNOR
...and when they do, I just want you
to know I'm takin' you along with
me.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
CLOSE ON JOANNA
As she goes through her jewelry case, taking some things,
leaving others. In the B.G. we SEE a framed photograph of
Billy, smiling, looking into the camera.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � NIGHT
ON TED AND O'CONNOR
Tracking with them as they walk.
O'CONNOR
(feeling no pain)
Y'know, Ted, I mean what I said back
there. You did a hell of a job on
this and I want you to know I'm
turning the whole show over to you.
TED
(thrilled)
Wow!
O'CONNOR
I mean it Ted, you're running this
one.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
The suitcase is now full. Joanna zips it shut and looks around
to make sure that she hasn't forgotten anything.
Then, she hefts her suitcase and starts out of the room.
CUT TO:
INT. FOYER � NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
Joanna carries in the suitcase, sets it by the front door,
then she crosses to the living room and sits down at the
dining table.
CLOSER IN ON HER
She takes out a list made on the back of an old envelope. As
she begins to review it, checking off some items:
OFF SCREEN Sound: A key turning in the lock.
As Joanna looks up...
CUT TO:
HER POV
As the door swings open to reveal Ted Kramer, an enormous
grin on his face, a bottle of champagne in his hand. He is
so full of himself that he doesn't notice there is anything
wrong.
Note: Throughout the entire scene he carries the bottle of
champagne, never putting it down.
TED
I thought you might just like to
know that at five-fifteen this
afternoon we were officially handed
the Fire and Ice account by Revlon.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
JOANNA
(she takes a deep
breath, then:)
Ted, I'm leaving you.
TED
That represents a gross billing in
excess of two million �
(hearing her)
What?!
Joanna opens her purse, takes out her keys and wallet.
JOANNA
Here are my keys. I won't be needing
them any more.
Note: Ted does not for a moment believe that his wife will
really leave him. All he can think of right now is that he
will have to spend the rest of the evening coping with one
of her moods.
TED
(sardonic)
I'm sorry I'm late, all right? I'm
sorry I didn't call � I was busy
making a living.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
Joanna doesn't even bother to look up at him. She opens her
purse, takes out her wallet and begins removing credit cards.
JOANNA
My American Express... My
Bloomingdale's Credit Card... My
check book �
TED
(the martyr)
Okay, okay... What is it this time?
What did I do now?...
JOANNA
(ignoring this)
I took two thousand out of the savings
account. That was what I had in the
bank when we got married.
TED
Joanna, whatever it is, believe me,
I'm sorry.
JOANNA
Here are the slips for the laundry
and the cleaning. They'll be ready
on Saturday.
TED
(hard lining it)
Now listen, before you do something
you'll really regret you'd better
stop and think -
JOANNA
(not bothering to
look up)
I've paid the rent, the Con-Ed and
the phone bill, so you don't have to
worry about them.
She checks off the last item on her list as her husband
watches, dumbfounded.
JOANNA
There, that's everything.
Joanna gets to her feet and starts toward the front door. In
an instant Ted is after her.
TED
(panic starting)
For God's sake, Joanna, would you at
least tell me what I did that's so
terrible! Would you do me that little
favor?
ON JOANNA
At the door.
JOANNA
Look, it's not your fault, okay?
It's me. It's my fault � you just
married the wrong person.
TED
(placating her)
So we've got problems. Everybody's
got problems � that's normal �
Joanna opens the door and they step out into the hallway.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE KRAMER APT. � EVENING
JOANNA
Ted, you're not listening to me.
It's over, finished.
TED
I'm listening, Joanna � believe me,
I'm listening. My wife is walking
out on me after eight years of �
JOANNA
(bitter)
You just don't get it, do you?
(as though to a child)
I � am � really � and � truly �
leaving � you.
TED
I heard you, Joanna. I promise I
heard you.
JOANNA
No you didn't.
(quietly)
You didn't even ask about Billy.
TED
(stiffening)
What about Billy?
JOANNA
I'm not taking him with me.
TED
What?
JOANNA
(tears start)
Ted, I can't... I tried... I really
tried but... I just can't hack it
anymore...
TED
C'mon, Joanna, you don't mean that.
You're a terrific mother �
JOANNA
(from her gut)
I am not! I'm a terrible mother! I'm
an awful mother. I yell at him all
the time. I have no patience. No...
No. He's better off without me.
(unable to look at
Ted)
Ted, I've got to go... I've got to
go.
TED
(desperate)
Okay, I understand and I promise I
won't try and stop you, but you can't
just go... Look, come inside and
talk... Just for a few minutes.
JOANNA
(pleading)
NO!... Please... Please don't make
me stay... I swear... If you do,
sooner or later... maybe tomorrow,
maybe next week... maybe a year from
now...
(looking directly at
him)
I'll go right out the window.
Sound-effect: The elevator approaching.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
There is nothing more that can be done, this is the last
moment of intimacy.
TED
(quiet)
Where are you going?
JOANNA
I don't know...
The elevator door opens, Joanna steps inside.
TED
Do you want me to help you get a
cab?
Joanna shakes her head. The elevator door closes behind her
and it starts to descend.
ON TED KRAMER
He stands for a moment, stunned, unable to move. Then he
turns and races back into the apartment.
THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH HIM as he rushes across to one of the
living room windows, throws it open and leans out.
HIS POV
Looking down to the street from the eighth floor. We SEE
Joanna step off the curb and hail a passing taxi.
TED
(calling out)
Joanna!?... Joanna?!
Either she doesn't hear him or else she pays no attention.
She gets into the cab, closes the door behind her and it
drives away.
CUT TO:
INT. APT. � NIGHT
ON TED
As he stands for a moment watching the taxi as it disappears.
Then, slowly, he closes the window, turns, and AS THE CAMERA
TRACKS WITH HIM, walks into the bedroom.
The bedroom is a mess: the closet door stands open, inside
Joanna's section is empty except for some shoe-boxes and a
few dresses that are scattered across the floor. Several
dresser drawers have been pulled out and their contents
emptied.
HOLD IN A WIDE SHOT as Ted wearily picks up one of the dresses
and hangs it back on its hanger in its proper place, ready
for Joanna's return. As he continues straightening up the
room,
THE CAMERA SLOWLY FADES TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM � VERY LATE AT NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
Ted Kramer paces back and forth, eyeing the phone. Then,
coming to a decision, he crosses to it, picks up the receiver
and starts to dial.
CUT TO:
EXT. APT. BLDG. � LATE AT NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
The building is dark except for the Kramer apartment which
is ablaze with lights. HOLD as we HEAR:
Sound: The phone ringing. Then:
WOMAN'S VOICE
(obviously asleep)
Huh... Hello?
TED
(righteous)
All right, Thelma... That's it. I've
had it. You can call your good friend
Joanna Kramer and tell her enough is
enough, okay? I mean, I don't know
what I did, but you can tell her
she's made her point.
WOMAN'S VOICE
Ted, what are you talking about?!
TED
Don't play innocent with me, Thelma.
You know perfectly well what's going
on.
WOMAN'S VOICE
(exasperated)
Ted, I don't understand a word you're
saying. Where's Joanna?
TED
Ha! You tell me.
Sound-effect, as Ted slams down the receiver.
Instantly a light is turned on two floors below.
CUT TO:
INT. FOYER � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
ON THE FRONT DOOR
As we HEAR:
Sound-effect: the doorbell rings.
A moment later Ted opens the door and THELMA PHILLIPS enters.
She is a neighbor (Apt. 6-B) and Joanna Kramer's best friend.
About four months ago Thelma and her husband Charley were
divorced.
Until then the two families had been very close, the Kramer's
son
(Billy) being about the same age as the Phillips' daughter
(Kim).
With the divorce, however, the Kramers tried to remain friends
with both Thelma and Charley and that has caused a certain
amount of friction.
Thelma is an attractive woman in her mid-thirties. She dresses
well, works out religiously at Jack LaLanne's and goes to a
therapist twice a week. She is also given to acting the lay
analyst with her friends. Thelma is generous with her advice,
sharing the wealth so to speak. With all of this she is kind,
loyal and a loving friend. At the moment, however, she is
all business.
THELMA
(looking around,
suspiciously)
All right. What's going on?
ON TED
From his attitude it is clear that there is no love lost
between them.
TED
All right, Thelma, you want to know
what's going on? I'll tell you what's
going on. I'll tell you exactly what's
going on.
THELMA
Look, Ted, all I �
TED
(starting to really
roll)
I came home tonight. We just got the
Fire and Ice account at the agency.
Do you know what that means?! Do you
understand what that means? It means
that it was maybe one of the five
best days in my whole life.
THELMA
Ted, all I wanted to know was where
�
TED
(not letting her get
a word in edgewise)
I walk in the house and before I can
say "How are you?", "Did you have a
nice day?" before I can say anything.
Pow she's out the door.
THELMA
OhmyGod. Didn't she say anything?
She must've said something.
TED
(sarcastic)
Yeah, she said it wasn't any use
talking anymore.
THELMA
Ted, don't be so hostile.
Ted draws himself upright with the dignity of the Ambassador
to the Court of St. James. However, during the following, he
begins pounding the pillows on the couch into shape with
real vehemence.
TED
Hostile?
(pow)
Me?
(whack)
Thelma, I'm not hostile.
(thud)
I am anything but hostile.
(sock)
But if you want to know what I am.
I'll tell you what I am. What I am
is, I am hurt. I am very hurt. And I
just want to know one thing, okay?
Just one thing... Why? That's all I
want to know... Why?
THELMA
(how to say this)
Ted, Joanna and I used to talk a lot
and... well, she told me a lot of...
ah, things about the two of you.
TED
(instantly nervous)
Things? What kind of things?
THELMA
(clearly she knows
more than she's
willing to say)
I mean... things. Ted, Joanna's very
unhappy and �
TED
(flash of anger)
Listen, Joanna Kramer's got a goddamn
good life. She's got a husband that
loves her. She's got a terrific kid.
She's got a wonderful home �
THELMA
(getting mad herself)
What d'you know about how Joanna
felt? You went off to an office every
morning and you'd come dragging home
at seven or eight every night and as
long as dinner was on the table you
thought everything was swell.
TED
Did it ever occur to you guys that
Joanna Kramer's not the easiest person
in the world to live with?! Did it?!
For one thing she's always thirty
minutes late. You can set your watch
by it �
THELMA
(exasperated)
So she's late. What's the big deal.
That's just a way of saying, "Pay
attention to me."
TED
(not listening)
Two. She is getting to be a real
hermit or recluse or whatever it is
you call it. Thelma, do you know
where I could be in this business if
I had a wife that entertained or
went out socially �
THELMA
Oh for shit's sake, Ted, you are the
most selfish human being I have ever
met. No wonder she said you came
first, then Billy, then, if there
was anything left over, she got the
scraps.
TED
Joanna said that?
Thelma nods.
TED
Then how come she never said anything
like that to me?
THELMA
Maybe she didn't feel like she should
have to. Maybe she felt like if you'd
been paying any real attention to
her to start with, maybe you would've
noticed.
TED
(stung)
Boy, you guys are really something,
y'know? I'd like to know one thing,
okay � just one little thing. Did
you tell Joanna she should leave me?
THELMA
(stiffly)
No.
She turns and starts toward the front door, Ted at her heel.
TED
Y'know something Thelma � you are
the typhoid Mary of divorce. I mean
it. Joanna and I never had any trouble
until you and Charley split up.
THELMA
Ted, divorce is a terrible thing. I
know, I went through it. You've got
to believe I did everything I could
to get Joanna to stay.
(pause)
But I'll tell you something. You may
not want to hear it, but it took a
lot of courage for Joanna to do what
she just did.
TED
I'd like to know what the hell kind
of courage it takes to walk out on
your husband and your child?
CLOSE ON THELMA
That stops her dead in her tracks. She had always assumed
that Joanna took Billy with her when she left.
THELMA
Joanna left Billy? She didn't take
him with her?
Ted shakes his head. There is a long beat of silence.
THELMA
(stunned, quiet)
Oh Shit.
CUT TO:
FADE IN:
EXT. KRAMER APT. BLDG. � EARLY MORNING
WIDE SHOT
It is a beautiful sunny morning and the super stands in front
of the building hosing down the sidewalk. HOLD as a garbage
truck enters FRAME and the garbage men begin loading sacks
of trash into the back of the truck. As it begins to grind
up the garbage with an ungodly sound, THE CAMERA PANS UP TO
THE EIGHTH FLOOR WINDOWS.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY KRAMER'S BEDROOM � EARLY MORNING
MEDIUM SHOT
Billy Kramer lies in his bed, fast asleep.
HOLD FOR A BEAT as we HEAR:
OFF SCREEN Sound: From the street below, the garbage truck
grinding up garbage.
A moment later, Billy opens his eyes, struggles to his feet
and,
AS THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH HIM, trudges sleepily out of his
room, across the hall and into the bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM � EARLY MORNING
As the child stands in front of the toilet, eyes closed, we
HEAR:
OFF SCREEN Sound-effect: as the child pees noisily.
Then, when he is finished, he turns and, without bothering
to flush the toilet, shuffles down the hall and into his
parents' bedroom.
HIS POV
The bed is empty, there is no sign that anyone has slept in
it.
ON BILLY
A look of suspicion on his face, he turns and starts back
down the hall toward the living room.
INT. LIVING ROOM � EARLY MORNING
As Billy enters, looks around.
HIS POV
Ted Kramer, still fully dressed, looking like the wrath of
God is asleep in the chair.
ON BILLY
As he marches across to his father.
BILLY
Where's mommy?
ON TED
His eyes open, he looks around startled.
TED
Huh?... Oh God... What time is it?
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
BILLY
(suspicious)
The little hand is on the six and
the big hand is on the nine. Where
is mommy?
TED
(trying to pull himself
together)
Oh, Christ... Ah, yeah... you want
to know why mom's not here, right?
Billy nods.
TED
(bullshit)
Okay, I'm going to tell you... It's
like this. Mommy and daddy had a
little argument and mommy decided
she wanted to go off by herself for
a little while. You know how sometimes
you get mad and want to go off and
be by yourself? Well, it's like that,
okay? Okay.
(subject closed)
Now how about some breakfast?
Ted struggles to his feet and THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH THEM as
they start toward the kitchen.
BILLY
When is mommy coming back?
TED
(lying)
Soon. Very soon.
By now they are inside the kitchen, Ted looks around.
HIS POV
There, on the kitchen cabinet is a box of "natural grain"
cereal, a jar of honey, some wheat germ, and a banana, with
carefully written instructions from Joanna underneath.
ON TED
He takes one look at the note, crumples it up and tosses it
in the wastebasket.
TED
(the camp counselor)
I'll tell you what, kiddo � why don't
I fix us some French toast?
BILLY
(impressed)
Wow! French toast, really?
TED
(the camp counselor)
Sure. Didn't I ever tell you French
toast was my specialty? I'll bet I
never told you that. Now then, the
first thing we need is...
(trying desperately
to remember)
...eggs! Right?
Billy nods. Ted opens the refrigerator and takes some eggs.
TED
This is terrific... isn't this
terrific?
As Ted begins the process of making French toast, it soon
becomes obvious that he has no idea of what he is doing.
What follows is a symphony in incompetence on Ted's part. He
breaks the eggs into a bowl and ends up with most of the
shell mixed up with the egg.
Then he takes a piece of bread and drops it into bowl.
TED
(saying it will make
it so)
I'm having a good time... Are you
having a good time?
ON BILLY
Watching all of this with increasing apprehension.
BILLY
You forgot the milk.
TED
(still the camp
counselor)
That's right. You're absolutely
right... It's been a long time since
I made French toast.
Ted takes a container of milk, pours it into the bowl so
that it is filled to the brim. Then he sloshes the bread
around until it is half-dissolved.
TED
Look at this, isn't this something?!
He lops off a huge hunk of butter, drops it into an omelet
pan and turns up the flame.
ON BILLY
Watching. He looks as though he is about to throw up.
BILLY
What about my orange juice?
TED
(the counterman)
Right. One O.J. coming up.
He opens the refrigerator and starts to get the orange juice.
As he does, black smoke begins to billow ominously from the
frying pan.
BILLY
(scared)
Daddy!!!
Ted turns, spots the smoke.
TED
Don't worry... Everything's fine...
He lunges for the handle of the frying pan, which by now is
very hot. He grabs it, lets out a howl of pain and the whole
mess, frying pan, butter, bread, goes crashing to the floor.
CLOSE ON TED
Suddenly all the rage comes pouring out.
TED
Goddam! Son of a bitch!
REACTION � BILLY
Terrified.
WIDE SHOT
As Ted kneels down and begins to clean up the mess.
TED
(to himself as much
as to Billy)
It's okay. It's gonna be okay...
Everything's going to be all right.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
ON A BUS
As it pulls to a stop. The doors open and a stream of mothers
and children get off. Among them we spot Ted Kramer with
Billy. As they start across the street, Ted reaches down and
takes hold of Billy's hand. The moment they get to the far
side, Billy takes his hand away from Ted's and wipes it on
his pants. Clearly Ted's hands are very sweaty.
CLOSER IN ON THEM
As they start down the block toward Billy's school.
CLOSER IN ON THEM
BILLY
When is mommy coming back?
TED
Soon. I told you before, very soon.
BILLY
(nervous)
Will she pick me up after school?
TED
No. If I'm not here, you go home
with Thelma and Kim.
BILLY
What if she forgets?
TED
(weary)
I'll call Thelma and remind her,
okay? Don't worry.
They walk in silence for a few steps, then:
BILLY
But what happens if she's on her way
to school and she gets runned over
by a truck and killed? What happens
them?
Ted looks at Billy in amazement.
WIDE SHOT
As the two of them enter the school and disappear from view.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE, TED'S AGENCY � DAY
ON THE ELEVATOR DOORS
As they open and Ted steps out looking like the wrath of
God. THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH HIM as he crosses the waiting
room toward the inner offices.
ON THE RECEPTIONIST
Glancing up as he passes.
RECEPTIONIST
(cheerful)
Congratulations, Mr. Kramer.
ON TED
Looking at her like she has lost her mind. Nevertheless he
continues on, passing through swinging doors into a long
corridor lined with secretaries' desks and offices leading
off of it.
Suddenly a younger man rushes up, grabs Ted's hand and starts
to pump it vigorously.
YOUNG MAN
Terrific news, Ted.
Another nut. Ted smiles at the man, humoring him and continues
toward his office. O'Connor appears, throwing his arm around
Ted, squeezing him in a bear hug.
O'CONNOR
Hey... Look who was out celebrating
last night.
Suddenly Ted realizes that all these people are congratulating
him for getting the Fire and Ice account.
TED
(trying to appear
nonchalant)
Uh, Jim... Can I talk to you?
CUT TO:
INT. O'CONNOR'S OFFICE � DAY
Ted and O'Connor sitting across from one another. O'Connor
has just heard the news.
O'CONNOR
Jesus Christ. That's a real
blockbuster.
(shakes his head)
I always figured you guys had it
made.
TED
(morose)
You want to know the real kicker?
The real kicker is, for the first
time in my life � the first time � I
feel like a loser.
O'Connor nods sympathetically. Actually he is praying that
Ted won't start to cry.
O'CONNOR
(stiff upper lip)
Listen, don't let it get you down.
(doesn't believe it
for a second)
You're going to be fine.
TED
(toujour gai)
Me? I've never been better. I mean
having my wife walk out on me after
seven years of marriage agrees with
me just fine.
O'CONNOR
Look, Ted, I'm the oldest whore on
the beat, okay? Three marriages, two
divorces... You're gonna be okay.
TED
(wishful thinking)
I'm going to be okay. The way I see
it, Joanna'll come home, it's just a
matter of time.
O'CONNOR
(emphatically)
She'll be back...
Ted nods in agreement. There is a beat of silence as both
men consider Joanna's imminent return. Then:
O'CONNOR
(trying to be tactful)
But... just in case... I mean, just
on the off chance she doesn't. What
are you going to do about the kid?
TED
(the wind goes out of
him)
I don't know, Jim. This whole thing
has happened so... Pow � like that.
O'CONNOR
(a friend having to
say something very
difficult)
Look, it's none of my business, so
you can tell me to butt out, okay?
But if you want my advice, you'll
send Billy away to stay with relatives
for a while. Just until you get
yourself straightened out.
TED
(doubtfully)
I don't know, Jim...
O'CONNOR
(the Dutch uncle)
Ted, this may sound a little rough,
but we've just landed the biggest
account in the history of this agency,
right? And now it's up to us � that's
you and me � to deliver the goods.
Ted, you're my main man, and if I
can't depend on you a hundred and
ten percent, twenty-four hours a
day, because you're worried about a
kid with a runny nose �
TED
Jim, I appreciate what you're saying.
I mean it, but I really think Joanna's
coming back.
ON O'CONNOR
Clearly he doesn't believe this.
O'CONNOR
I hope you're right, Ted... I really
hope you're right.
CUT TO:
INT. FOYER � KRAMER APT. � DAY
INSERT: TIGHT ON AN ENVELOPE
It is postmarked Denver, Colorado. The letter is addressed
to Billy Kramer and it is from Joanna.
ON TED
As he rips open the letter.
TED
Billy!
ON BILLY
He sits in the living room watching television, a chocolate
doughnut in one hand and a remote control device for watching
television in the other.
Off-screen Sound: a Saturday morning kiddie program from the
television set.
BILLY
(focused on T.V.)
Uh, huh...
TED
You got a letter from mom.
Instantly, Billy turns down the volume of the television.
BILLY
(excited)
When is she coming home?!
ON TED
As he starts to read, slowly, carefully, so that Billy can
absorb it.
TED
"My dear, sweet Billy: Mommy has
gone away. Sometimes in the world
daddies go away and mommies bring up
their little boys. But sometimes a
mommy can go away too, and you have
your daddy to bring you up."
As Ted continues to read, Billy starts turning up the sound
on the television, using the remote control device.
TED
(raising his voice so
he can be heard)
"I have gone away because I must
find some interesting things to do
for myself in the world. Everybody
has to, and so do I. Being your mommy
was one thing, but there are other
things and this is what I have to
do. I did not get a chance to tell
you this, and that is why I am writing
you now."
By now the volume from the television is so loud that Ted
has to shout to make himself heard over it.
TED
"I will always be your mommy and I
will always love you. I just won't
be your mommy in the house. But I
will be your mommy of the heart. And
I... "
(he looks up, about
to tell the child to
lower the volume)
Billy.
HIS POV
Billy sits, watching television with an almost ferocious
intensity on his face, doing his best to block out Ted's
voice.
ON TED
He watches his son for a second, then carefully refolds the
letter, puts it away.
TED
(as he reaches across,
turns down the sound
on the T.V.)
It's okay... It's okay. We'll talk
about it some other time.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN � KRAMER APT. � LATER THAT DAY
CLOSE ON THELMA
Reading Joanna's letter.
THELMA
Oh, God... OhmyGod...
She finishes the letter, looks up at Ted.
THELMA
What are you going to do?
TED
I don't know, Thel... This whole
thing has happened so... Pow, like
that.
THELMA
I mean, what are you going to do
about Billy?
TED
(stiff)
I'm gonna keep him, why?
THELMA
Look, this is nothing personal, but
I don't think you can do it.
TED
Thelma, I've lost my wife, I'm not
losing my child.
THELMA
(backing off)
All right... Okay... But let's get
something straight, right now. I
mean, I'm sorry about what happened
between you and Joanna, but it's not
my problem, understand?
REVERSE ON TED
He nods.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
THELMA
I'm not going to have you calling
every fifteen minutes just because
you can't find a hot water bottle,
understand?
Ted nods.
THELMA
I've got enough trouble raising my
own kid. I don't need another one.
Got it?
TED
Got it.
THELMA
You're on your own, understand?
TED
I understand.
THELMA
You're sure?
TED
I'm sure.
ON THELMA
A long pause, she looks at him with all the warmth of a top
sergeant facing a raw recruit. Then:
THELMA
All right. Who's Billy's pediatrician?
ON TED
He hasn't the foggiest idea.
THELMA
(machine-gun delivery)
Ed Davies. 230 East 76th Street. 472-
8227. Fifty bucks a house call, thirty
for an office visit. Write this down:
I'm not telling you twice. What's
the nearest hospital?
ON TED
As he grabs a piece of paper and starts writing frantically.
TED
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
THELMA
(not waiting)
Lenox Hill. 77th Street between Park
and Lex. The emergency number is 327-
0800.
TED
Slow down... Slow down...
CUT TO:
INT. TED'S BEDROOM � DAY
WIDE SHOT
Ted stands in the middle of the room, sorting out a huge
pile of dirty clothes. Thelma sits on the edge of the bed,
watching.
THELMA
Colors in one pile, white things in
another and shirts in a third.
In the BACKGROUND we SEE the bathroom door as it opens and
Billy Kramer steps out, freshly bathed and wearing clean
clothes.
THELMA
(without looking around)
Brush the teeth. Hang up the towel
and flush the toilet.
Billy immediately turns on his heels and heads back into the
bathroom.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM � KRAMER APT. � DAY
CLOSE ON A SILVER CIGARETTE BOX
That is inscribed, "Ted and Joanna Kramer, Married April 4,
1970."
HOLD FOR A BEAT then Ted's hand reaches into FRAME and picks
it up.
MEDIUM SHOT TED
As he takes the cigarette box and balances it on a stack of
scrap books, photographs, ash trays, etc., etc., that he is
carrying. He crosses to another table, picks up a framed
photograph of Joanna and Billy and piles that on top of
everything. We realize that Ted is going through the apartment
from top to bottom and methodically cleaning out every trace
of Joanna that he can find.
CUT TO:
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING � NIGHT
ESTABLISHING SHOT
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
As Ted goes through the room, picking up Billy's clothes
which have been strewn every which way.
THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH HIM as he carries them into Billy's
room.
INT. BILLY'S ROOM � NIGHT
Billy is fast asleep, the only light coming from the night
lamp on the dresser. Ted dumps the soiled clothing in a
hamper, hangs up Billy's jacket, then he neatly folds the
boy's sweater and crosses to the dresser.
CLOSER IN ON THE DRESSER
As Ted opens a drawer and starts to put the sweater away.
Suddenly he spots something.
CUT TO:
HIS POV
There, in the drawer, sitting on top of a pile of clothing
is one of the photographs of Joanna that Ted put away this
afternoon.
Billy has retrieved it and hidden it here, hoping that Ted
wouldn't find it.
CLOSE ON TED
As he takes a long look at the photograph, then turns to his
son.
HIS POV
Billy asleep, tangled up in the covers.
ON TED
He removes the photograph from the drawer, crosses to the
bed and places it on the nightstand nearby so that Billy
will be able to see the picture of Joanna when he wakes up
in the morning. He sits for a moment longer on the side of
the bed and reaches across and smooths down his son's rumpled
hair.
FADE TO BLACK:
INT. TED'S OFFICE � LATE AFTERNOON
ON TED
Clearly in a rush, loading his briefcase with work to do
that evening. He starts for the door and THE CAMERA TRACKS
WITH HIM as he walks along the outer office corridor, heading
for the elevator. As he passes the door to O'Connor's office:
TED
(calling out)
'Night, Jim.
O'CONNOR (O.S.)
(calling out)
Hey, Ted. C'mon in. I wanna' talk to
you.
Reluctantly Ted stops, turns around and walks back to the
door to O'Connor's office.
CUT TO:
INT. O'CONNOR'S OFFICE � LATE AFTERNOON
O'Connor sits back in his chair, his feet propped on the
desk a drink in one hand.
O'CONNOR
(jovial)
What's the big rush. C'mon in, put
your feet up, have a drink.
REVERSE ON TED
Hanging in the doorway, clearly anxious to leave.
TED
Can't do it tonight. Gotta pick up
Billy. I'm late.
O'CONNOR
(paying no attention
to that)
Listen, I heard a terrific joke today.
There's this Polish skydiver �
TED
(urgent)
Sorry, Jim I've got to go. I'll talk
to you tomorrow.
And before O'Connor can say anything he is gone.
REVERSE ON O'CONNOR
Obviously displeased. He sits for a moment, drumming his
fingers on the desk top, then reaches for the phone and starts
to dial. A moment later:
O'CONNOR
Murray? Jim O'Connor, why don't you
drop by and have a drink...
CUT TO:
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING � LATE AFTERNOON
WIDE SHOT
As Ted emerges from the building, starts to hail a cab.
CUT TO:
EXT. APARTMENT HOUSE, EAST EIGHTIES � LATE AFTERNOON
WIDE SHOT
As the cab pulls to a stop. Ted leaps out and rushes inside.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY � APARTMENT BLDG. � LATE AFTERNOON
The elevator doors open and Ted steps out.
THE CAMERA PANS WITH HIM as he crosses to the doorway of an
apartment, rings the bell.
CLOSER IN
As the door is opened by a pleasant-looking woman in her
thirties.
This is MRS. KLINE. She has the slightly haggard look of
someone who has just survived a birthday party with eight
five-year-olds.
In fact, behind her we SEE an abundance of crepe paper and
balloons.
TED
(apologetic)
Mrs. Kline, I'm sorry I'm late, but
�
MRS. KLINE
That's all right, but I'm afraid
Billy was a little nervous...
(she glances off screen)
THEIR POV
Billy, his coat on, his goody bag in his lap sits alone on a
bench in the foyer.
The moment he sees his father, he gets up and starts for the
door.
BILLY
(to Ted, accusingly)
You're late.
TED
I'm sorry, pal, but I had a meeting
and �
BILLY
(to Mrs. Kline anxious
to get away)
Goodbye.
MRS. KLINE
Goodbye, Bill. Thank you for coming.
(calling out to her
son in the next room)
Mark. Say goodbye to Bill.
MARK (O.S.)
(preoccupied)
Bye.
BILLY
Bye.
And he hustles his father out into the hallway. Once door is
shut behind them:
BILLY
(sullen)
I was waiting a long time.
By now they have crossed to the elevator. Ted rings the bell.
TED
(this ain't exactly
the greeting he's
expected)
It wasn't so long, I'm only...
(checking his watch)
...twenty minutes late.
The elevator doors open.
BILLY
All the other mothers got here a
long time ago...
And the doors close, blocking them from view.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
Ted and Billy sit at the dining table, a large pizza between
them.
Ted is working hard, trying to establish some kind of rapport
with his son. Billy is silent, he picks at the slice of pizza
in front of him.
TED
(more of the camp
counselor)
How was school today?
BILLY
Okay... Same as usual...
TED
Billy, don't eat with your fingers.
BILLY
(morose)
Sorry.
There is a long beat of silence.
TED
(like pulling teeth)
Well, I see the Yankees finally won
a game.
BILLY
Mom, I mean dad?
TED
Yeah?
BILLY
Can I be excused? I'm not hungry. I
think I'll go to bed.
TED
Sure. Too much birthday cake, right?
BILLY
(as he gets up from
the table)
I guess...
WIDE SHOT
As Billy shuffles off toward his room. Ted sits for a beat
picking at the food on his plate.
THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH BILLY as he gets up from the table
and walks into his room. HOLD IN THE DOORWAY as he takes off
his shirt and pants and leaves them lying on the floor. The
boy crosses to the closet, gets his pajamas and puts them
on.
REVERSE ON TED
Standing in the doorway, watching.
TED
Goodnight.
ON BILLY
He starts to crawl into bed.
BILLY
(aloof)
'Night.
ON TED
THE CAMERA PANS WITH HIM as he crosses to where Billy dropped
his clothes on the floor, picks them up.
TED
Listen, pal, I'm sorry, okay?
Silence.
TED
I know how you feel.
Silence.
Ted crosses, sits on the edge of the bed.
TED
Look, I remember one time when. I
was a couple of years younger than
you are now and... I was staying
with this cousin of mine and my
parents were supposed to come and
pick me up by three, but it got later
and later and they didn't and they
didn't show up and I remember I got
really scared that something had
happened to them and I remember when
they finally came instead of being
happy to see them I was very angry
and... Billy, I promise I'll never
do that to you again, okay?...
Silence.
TED
Billy? Okay?
CLOSEUP BILLY
His face is turned to the wall. HOLD FOR A BEAT as we SEE
him nod.
INT. LIVING ROOM � TED KRAMER'S APT. � NIGHT
Note: The following scene, which is written as one, is
actually to be played so that each time we cut back to the
woman who is being interviewed as housekeeper, it is a
different woman: sometimes nervous and excited, sometimes
large and lugubrious, with six shopping bags, sometimes
looking like a headmistress at Dachau.
They are uniformly (until the last) unappetizing.
Throughout this, we SEE Ted becoming increasingly desperate.
WOMAN
(looking around nervous)
It's very big... They didn't tell me
it was this big.
TED
(apologetically)
No... No, actually it's only two
bedrooms.
SECOND WOMAN
(sniffing)
Phew... This place is a real pig
sty.
TED
(defensively)
Look, my wife just walked out on me.
Okay? It's been a tough week.
THIRD WOMAN
Don't tell me your troubles, mister.
I got enough of my own.
Note: With the FOURTH WOMAN we begin on a CLOSEUP and PULL
BACK to REVEAL that we are in Ted's office and it is the
middle of the afternoon.
INT. TED KRAMER'S OFFICE � DAY
FOURTH WOMAN
The first thing is, I don't do floors.
At that point the door behind her opens and O'Connor pokes
his head in.
O'CONNOR
Ted.
FOURTH WOMAN
(ignoring him)
Or windows. I come in at ten and I
get Wednesdays off.
O'CONNOR
Ted.
TED
(brisk)
I'll be with you in a minute, Jim.
(back to the woman)
You couldn't make that Saturday,
could you?
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
ON THE FIFTH WOMAN (MRS. WILLEWSKA)
She is a slightly built attractive woman in her early sixties.
There is a long pause as she looks around.
MRS. WILLEWSKA
What kind of boy is your son?
REACTION � TED
This is the first person that ever asked about Billy.
TED
(taken aback)
Well, he's... ah, he's a good kid.
He's shy and... I think he's probably
very creative and...
MRS. WILLEWSKA
Could I see him?
TED
Sure. He's right in here.
As they start toward the child's room.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S ROOM � NIGHT
In the darkness we can SEE Billy, all scrunched up in the
covers.
HOLD FOR A BEAT as the door opens and the light from the
hall falls across the sleeping boy.
ON THE DOOR
Ted and Mrs. Willewska stand silhouetted against the light.
MRS. WILLEWSKA
Oh... He's very beautiful.
ON BILLY
As he stirs, in his sleep.
MRS. WILLEWSKA (O.S.)
Mr. Kramer, you are a very lucky
man.
REACTION, TED
This is the first time since Joanna left that this has
occurred to him.
TED
Mrs. Willewska, could you start on
Monday?
CUT TO:
INT. SUPERMARKET � DAY
ON BILLY AND TED
TRACKING JUST IN FRONT OF THEM as they wheel a shopping cart
along the aisle. Ted has a shopping list in his hand.
Ted stops, takes a box of detergent off of the shelf, starts
to put it in the shopping cart, when:
BILLY
(worried)
Mom, I mean dad...
TED
(his mind elsewhere)
Uh huh...
BILLY
That's not the right soap. We use
the kind in the green and yellow
box.
TED
C'mon, there's not much difference �
BILLY
(firmly)
We use the green and yellow.
Ted looks at his son for a moment, then carefully replaces
the detergent that he had originally picked and reaches for
the green and yellow kind. They continue on for several steps
and Ted stops again, this time looking for a dishwashing
liquid. He starts to reach for one, stops, looks around at
Billy.
Billy shakes his head.
Ted points to another.
BILLY
(shaking his head
again)
The pink stuff.
Ted takes a bottle of the pink stuff, puts it in the shopping
cart and consults his shopping list.
TED
Okay, what color cereal do we get?
CUT TO:
EXT. PLAYGROUND, CENTRAL PARK � DAY
WIDE SHOT
It is that same afternoon and Billy (his clothes are much
dirtier by now) is running back and forth with a group of
other children.
MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Walk him over to Bethesda Fountain
and buy him an ice.
ON TED
He sits on one of the playground benches, the work he took
from the office stacked beside him on the bench. Sitting
next to him is a personable-looking man of about Ted's age.
He is nattily dressed in a suit complete with vest, tie and
polished Gucci loafers. We will call him THE SATURDAY FATHER.
Note: The Saturday Father and his daughter (a pretty young
girl of about ten) will appear from time to time throughout
the film. He is a divorced father, putting in his time, not
giving a shit about the child. The Saturday Father insists
on treating Ted as though they were members of the same secret
fraternity. And he comes to represent Ted's nightmare of
what might happen to him.
TED
(looking in the
direction of the
voice)
What?
SATURDAY FATHER
Walk him over to Bethesda Fountain,
buy him an ice. It'll kill twenty
minutes.
TED
I've got a lot more than twenty
minutes to kill.
SATURDAY FATHER
Tough...
(checking his watch)
...I get off duty at five-thirty.
(bored, anxious to
make conversation)
How long you been divorced?
TED
(surprised)
Three months. How can you tell?
SATURDAY FATHER
You've got that look. My lady and I
split two years ago in August and
I'm an old pro at this shit. First
thing, stay away from the Children's
Zoo. It's pure hell � if I never see
another chicken, I'll be happy.
(calling out to his
daughter OFF SCREEN)
I'm here, darling. Don't worry...
CLOSER ON TED
Finding this distinctly unpleasant. He glances around, looking
for Billy.
HIS POV
The sprinkler area. Other children are running around, but
there is no sign of Billy.
TED
(calling out)
Billy?
HIS POV
Another area of the playground. Billy is nowhere in sight.
WIDER ON TED
As he grabs his stuff and starts toward the exit of the
playground.
TED
(louder)
Billy?
HIS POV
Looking in another direction. Nothing.
WIDE ON TED
Standing among a crowd of people just outside the entrance
to the playground. He is looking around wildly.
TED
Billy?!
HIS POV
There in the distance is Billy Kramer, running as hard as he
can away from Ted.
ON TED
TRACKING IN FRONT OF HIM as he starts to chase after Billy.
HIS POV � TRACKING FORWARD
It is clear that Billy is running with a purpose.
TED (V.O.)
Billy!
Billy pays no attention to him.
ON TED
TRACKING IN FRONT OF HIM as he continues to chase his son.
HIS POV � TRACKING FORWARD
Closer now, we can SEE that ahead of Billy is a woman that,
from behind, looks remarkably like Joanna.
CLOSER ON TED
As he realizes what is about to happen.
CLOSER ON BILLY
Catching up to the woman.
BILLY
Mommy! Mommy!
A moment later he gets close enough to grab onto her skirt.
As the woman turns around:
CLOSEUP WOMAN
Quite clearly it is not Joanna.
CLOSEUP BILLY
His face becomes impassive again. All the excitement vanishes.
BILLY
Oh. I thought you were my mommy.
CLOSEUP TED
His face reveals all of the pain that Billy's can't.
CUT TO:
INT. CLASSROOM, NURSERY SCHOOL � DAY
CLOSE ON A HOMEMADE CURTAIN
As it opens and Billy Kramer, wearing an outsized moustache,
a makeshift cape and a stovepipe hat made from construction
paper.
He stands for a moment, looking around, finally he spots
someone, grins and begins waving.
HIS POV
Across the room eighteen to twenty mothers (Ted Kramer is
the only man present) are gathered, sitting on tiny chairs
and at work tables watching as their children put on a show.
ON BILLY
Suddenly he forgets his lines, looks around nervously. A
moment later a very pretty young teacher leans over, whispers
in his ear.
TEACHER
Ladies and gentlemen...
BILLY
Ladies and gentlemen...
TEACHER
Welcome to the greatest show on earth.
BILLY
Welcome to the...
(he forgets again)
REVERSE ON TED
He leans forward mouthing the words as the teacher prompts
Billy.
TEACHER
Greatest.
BILLY
Greatest...
TEACHER
Show.
BILLY
Show...
TEACHER
On earth.
BILLY
On earth.
Ted breathes a sigh of relief, his son having gotten through
it.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THE CHILDREN PUTTING ON THE SHOW AND
TED KRAMER SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE WATCHING:
A look of total pleasure on his face. From time to time when
Billy does something particularly difficult, Ted nudges the
woman next to him.
Note: In all of the shots of Billy we SEE the teacher there
guiding, helping, over and over and over we cannot help but
notice how attractive she is. Toward the end of the show
Ted's POV occasionally follows the teacher rather than the
child.
DISSOLVE TO:
WIDE SHOT
The show is over and the parents and children mill around
eating popcorn, drinking lemonade from paper cups. Ted stands
off to one side, talking to the teacher as Billy runs around.
CLOSER IN ON THEM
TEACHER
Mr. Kramer, I just wanted to tell
you what a wonderful boy your son
is.
TED
(clearly attracted to
her)
I don't know... I've been worried...
(glancing around,
making sure Billy is
out of earshot)
I mean, with what he's been through
and everything. I �
TEACHER
(solicitously)
No... No... Billy is doing just fine.
TED
(giving himself a few
points)
Well, you know it's not easy raising
a kid on your own and I thought if
we could get together and, uh, discuss
�
At that moment one of the class mothers interrupts, reaches
across Ted and takes hold of the teacher's hand.
WOMAN
(effusive)
Barbara! Congratulations! When is
the baby due?
TEACHER (BARBARA)
Oh, God. Not 'til August.
CLOSE ON TED
Inadvertently glancing at the teacher's stomach, nothing
shows.
ON THE TEACHER
As she turns back to Ted.
TEACHER
Excuse me. You said you wanted to
talk, Mr. Kramer.
TED
(embarrassed)
Yes, but... ah, not now...
(checking his watch)
I've got an appointment... I forgot
all about it...
As Ted begins beating a hasty retreat,
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
ON TED
TRACKING IN FRONT OF HIM as he walks down the street carrying
a large and elaborate papier-m�ch� art thing that Billy made
in school.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN TED AND HIS POV:
As he manages to notice every single pretty girl that passes,
thread his way through the crowd and still balance Billy's
enormous work of art.
CUT TO:
INT. AGENCY � DAY
ON THE ELEVATOR DOORS
As they open, Ted squeezes off and AS THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH
HIM, he crosses the waiting room and enters the offices
proper. He pauses at his secretary's desk and deposits Billy's
papier-m�ch� thing. She jumps up from her desk, takes the
papier-m�ch� thing and her notebook in hand, and follows Ted
as he walks down the corridor towards O'Connor's office.
SECRETARY
Mr. O'Connor called. There's a meeting
with the Revlon people in the board
room and you're fifteen minutes late.
TED
(in a rush)
I know... I know.
SECRETARY
Mr. Schmidt can't have the figures
on the television buy until Monday.
TED
No. Uh, uh. Tell him I asked for it
Friday. I want it Friday. Period.
SECRETARY
Mr. Lombardo from packaging wants to
meet on Friday.
TED
Fine.
By now they have reached the board room. He enters without
knocking, his secretary still in tow.
SECRETARY
And Mrs. Kelsey called to ask if
Billy can come to Stephanie's birthday
party on Tuesday.
CUT TO:
INT. BOARD ROOM � DAY
The room is filled with executives in three piece suits and
O'Connor who is doing a lot of backing and filling.
TED
(as he enters)
Yes. Remind me to pick up a "Crying
Chrissie" doll at lunch on Tuesday.
ON O'CONNOR
Clearly he is very irritated at this.
O'CONNOR
(sardonic)
If it's all right with you, Mother
Kramer, can we get down to work now?
CUT TO:
INT. PHYLLIS BERNARD'S OFFICE � DAY
It is a real mess, legal files and law books scattered
everywhere.
In the midst of all this chaos sits PHYLLIS BERNARD, as we
said before, she is about thirty, very pretty in spite of
her glasses.
ON PHYLLIS
She looks up as Ted enters. It is clear from their attitude
that they have known one another for a long time and are
very relaxed together.
PHYLLIS
Hello, Kramer.
ON TED
He drops into a chair and shoves a stack of papers across
the desk to her.
TED
Hiya, Phyllis. These are the Revlon
contracts. I thought you ought to
check them out.
PHYLLIS
Sure.
She takes the papers and starts to rifle through them,
stopping every so often and making a note in the margin. As
she does, we notice that the second and third buttons of her
blouse have come undone and that she is not wearing a bra.
CLOSER ON TED
As he realizes this.
ON PHYLLIS
She glances up to ask Ted a question about some point or
other, notices the direction of his gaze and, unself-
consciously buttons up her blouse.
She goes back to her papers as Ted continues to watch her.
ON PHYLLIS
Not looking up from her papers.
PHYLLIS
Yes.
TED
(baffled)
Yes, what?
PHYLLIS
(looks up, serious)
Yes, I'll have dinner with you.
CUT TO:
INT. TED KRAMER'S BEDROOM � LATE AT NIGHT
ON THE BED
Although the room is dimly lit, we can SEE quite clearly
that Ted and Phyllis are in bed together. They have finished
making love and Ted lies back, half asleep. Phyllis reaches
across to the nightstand, puts on her glasses and checks her
watch.
PHYLLIS
Kramer, I've got to go. I've got an
eight o'clock closing tomorrow down
on Centre Street.
TED
(half asleep)
Mmmmnph... I'll get you a cab...
But he makes no move to get up.
Phyllis gets to her feet and in the dim light we can SEE
that, except for her glasses, she is naked.
PHYLLIS
(as she crosses the
hall on the way to
the bathroom)
That's okay. It's just that I've got
these clients that are �
CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM � NIGHT
There is Billy Kramer, standing by the toilet, buttoning his
pajamas. He looks up at Phyllis.
HIS POV
There stands Phyllis, naked as the day she was born, a look
of stunned amazement on her face.
PHYLLIS
(softly to herself)
Oh, God.
Too startled to cover herself.
ON BILLY
He looks her up and down, then:
BILLY
(very serious)
Do you like fried chicken?
ON PHYLLIS
Suddenly remembering to cover herself.
PHYLLIS
(hoping desperately
it is the right answer)
Ah... Yes.
SHOT � PHYLLIS AND BILLY
BILLY
So do I...
And he shuffles off to bed. Phyllis waits, frozen until he
disappears into his room. Then, she turns and flees back
into the bedroom.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM � NIGHT
ON PHYLLIS
As she bursts into the room, closes the door behind her,
leans against it.
PHYLLIS
(eyes wide)
I just met your son.
ON TED
Who has leapt out of bed and is scrambling into his pants.
TED
Like that?!
Phyllis nods.
TED
And?
PHYLLIS
He wanted to know if I liked fried
chicken.
TED
Do you?
Phyllis nods rather frantically.
TED
(grinning)
So what's your problem?
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN � KRAMER APT. � EVENING
ON TED AND THELMA
Stand side by side. He is cutting, chopping, making some
kind of stew. Thelma stands nearby watching, sipping a glass
of white wine.
FROM OFF SCREEN we can hear Billy and Kim running around,
playing.
TED
You ever think about getting married
again?
THELMA
No, not really...
(she thinks for a
moment, then:)
I guess it's different if you don't
have children, but... I dunno, even
if Charley and I don't live together,
even if we're sleeping with other
people, even if Charley was to marry
again... He'd still be my husband.
That stuff about "Till death do you
part?" That's really true.
TED
(nodding toward a
cookbook that is
propped open nearby)
How many onions does it say to use?
THELMA
(without bothering to
look in the book)
Three. And add some basil.
TED
(as he does)
D'you think you and Charley'll ever
get back together again?
THELMA
No. I don't think so.
TED
C'mon, Thel. So Charley had a little
fling. So what? All in all he was a
pretty good husband.
THELMA
Look, I know this isn't gonna make
any sense, okay? I mean forget the
logic part... But I keep thinking if
Charley really loved me, he wouldn't
have let me divorce him.
CUT TO:
EXT. CENTRAL PARK � DAY
WIDE SHOT
The Saturday Father and his daughter, clearly with nothing
to say to one another, stand eating ices from a nearby vendor.
THE CAMERA PANS AWAY FROM THEM across to Billy, Ted and
Phyllis. She is dressed in a very nice suit, silk blouse,
high heeled shoes and looks distinctly out of place in Central
Park on a Saturday afternoon.
At the moment, Ted is trying to teach Billy how to bat.
TED
Now look, you hold it like this...
(he places Billy's
hands on the bat
just so)
...and you swing like this...
(taking him through
the motions)
ON PHYLLIS
Watching. She can't believe what she's seeing. Finally, she
can't stand it any longer.
PHYLLIS
(impatient)
No, no, no, Kramer. That's not how
you do it. Look...
She crosses to Billy, gently takes the bat from him and
demonstrates.
PHYLLIS
...you hold it like this...
(showing him her grip)
Farther down the bat. And you swing
like this...
(to Ted)
Throw me one.
ON TED
As he gives Billy a look that says, we have to humor her. He
throws a ball.
ON PHYLLIS
As she swings, connects and slams a ball in a long, looping
fly that goes at least two hundred feet.
ON TED
Watching the ball disappear in the distance, he turns back
to Phyllis, open-mouthed.
CLOSE ON PHYLLIS
Embarrassed, she grins, shrugs and hands the bat back to
Billy.
CUT TO:
INT. O'CONNOR'S OFFICE � DAY
WIDE SHOT
O'Connor, Murray and the Art Director are in O'Connor's office
as the door opens and Ted enters, carrying a pile of papers,
charts, graphs, etc., etc.
TED
Okay, Jim. Here's the report on...
He stops in mid-sentence, looks around.
HIS POV
On the walls are a series of mock-ups of the various Fire
and Ice ads, none of which are what Ted and O'Connor had
agreed upon.
TED
(surprised)
What the hell is this?
O'CONNOR
(innocent)
Murray had some ideas about the Fire
and Ice campaign and he had the art
department make up a few roughs...
(weakly)
I think they're kind of interesting.
TED
(bugged)
I don't. Jim, this isn't anything
like what we talked about. It's not
even close.
MURRAY
(oily)
Ted, basically it's still your
concept.
O'CONNOR
(chiming in)
Murray just added a few things, that's
all.
TED
Now hold it right there, I'm the one
that went in and sold Revlon on this
idea to start with, remember? You
said I was going to be �
Sound-effect: The phone rings.
O'Connor picks it up.
ON TED
O'CONNOR
Yeah?
He listens for a moment, then hands the phone to Ted.
O'CONNOR
It's for you.
ON TED
As he takes the receiver.
TED
(puzzled)
Yes?
Then, embarrassed, he turns his back and lowers his voice.
TED
Look, Billy, I told you before, one
hour of T.V. a day, that's the rule...
No...
(clearly, Billy is
giving him an argument)
I don't care what the other mothers
do... Listen, I can't talk now, I'm
in a meeting...
(firm)
Billy, I'll talk to you later, good-
bye.
Note: During the phone call, the CAMERA PANS AWAY to Murray
& O'connor, looks of bored Condescension and smug superiority
on their faces.
Ted hangs up the phone and turns back around.
MURRAY
(smooth)
Ted, I appreciate what you're saying,
but I really think you're just too
close to it right now.
O'CONNOR
(quickly)
Murray's right.
(reassuring)
Look it's just some ideas, okay? I
mean nothing's locked in cement. I
promise you this is your show...
ON TED
Not very reassured.
O'CONNOR
Trust me on this one, Ted...
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
Ted is sitting at the dining room table, working. Spread out
all across the table are layouts, rate sheets, etc., etc.
Billy sits across from him drawing on a pad with felt-tipped
pens. HOLD FOR A BEAT, then:
BILLY
(worried about
something)
Mom, I mean dad...
TED
(busy)
In a minute...
beat of silence then:
BILLY
What do you do when an elephant sits
on your fence?
Silence.
BILLY
You get a new fence.
TED
(he hasn't heard a
word)
C'mon, Billy. I'm trying to work for
God's sake...
Another beat of silence, then Billy reaches for his glass of
Hawaiian Punch and accidentally tips it over, spilling purple
liquid across all of Ted's papers.
Instantly, Ted is on his feet, yelling.
TED
Goddamnit, can't you watch what you're
doing!
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
BILLY
(quiet)
I'm sorry.
TED
Je-sus Christ! I catch all kind of
shit at the office because I'm not
pulling my weight because I'm busting
my butt trying to be a decent goddamn
father and �
BILLY
I'm sorry.
TED
(sardonic)
That's terrific. That's really
terrific, but I notice I'm the one
that's cleaning up this �
(noticing an important
paper covered with
grape juice)
Oh, crap, I'll have to do this one
over.
BILLY
(starting to help)
I'm sorry.
By now there is nothing the boy can do right.
TED
Look, it's after your bedtime, okay?
Just do me a favor and go to bed,
okay?
Billy gets to his feet, collects his stuff and walks into
his bedroom. HOLD ON TED who sits for a moment, then gets
wearily to his feet and as THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH HIM crosses
to the door of Billy's room. He stops in the doorway, looks
OFF SCREEN.
HIS POV
Billy struggling to get his pajamas on, having a hard time.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
TED
Look, I'm sorry I yelled, okay?
BILLY
(quiet)
That's okay.
TED
It's just... I've been catching a
lot of flack at the office...
BILLY
That's okay...
INT. OFFICE � DAY
ON THE DOOR TO O'CONNOR'S OFFICE
As it opens and Phyllis comes out. In the background in
O'Connor's office we SEE O'Connor and Murray, talking,
laughing.
THE CAMERA TRACKS ALONGSIDE Phyllis as she walks to Ted
Kramer's office and opens the door without knocking.
PHYLLIS
How about lunch, Kramer. I'm buying.
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT, MIDTOWN � DAY
ON TED AND PHYLLIS
As they sit across from one another. A waiter stands over
them, setting drinks in front of them.
WAITER
Perrier and lime...
(placing a drink in
front of Phyllis)
...and scotch with soda.
(putting Ted's drink
in front of him)
The waiter bustles away.
TED
Okay, Phyllis, what's up?
PHYLLIS
Kramer...
She breaks off, uncertain whether or not to go on. Then,
making up her mind, she reaches across, takes Ted's scotch
and soda and drinks half of it down in one gulp.
PHYLLIS
(in a rush)
O'Connor's out to get you. He's going
to take the Fire and Ice account
away from you.
TED
(stunned)
What?!?
Phyllis nods.
TED
(angry)
I don't believe it! That's crazy!
Why would Jim do something like that?
Phyllis polishes off the rest of Ted's drink.
PHYLLIS
(angry herself)
You want to know why? I'll tell you
why...
(signaling to the
waiter)
Another scotch and soda for the
gentleman.
(back to Ted)
I'll tell you exactly why. Because
you're not his buddy anymore. Because
he can't count on you to sit around
the office every night until eight
or nine and shoot the shit with him.
TED
I can't. I've got Billy to take care
of.
PHYLLIS
(exasperated)
You dope. O'Connor doesn't give a
damn about Billy. All he wants is
somebody that'll hang around with
him every night so he won't have to
go home.
TED
(stiff)
I don't believe you.
The waiter sets Ted's drink on the table in front of him. He
starts to reach for it, but Phyllis is quicker.
PHYLLIS
(taking a stiff drink)
All right. Okay. But tell me
something, Kramer. Who do you think
is palling around with O'Connor these
days?
Ted shrugs.
TED
How should I know?
PHYLLIS
Murray.
REACTION, TED
Stunned, but trying to be nonchalant.
TED
So... what's so terrible about that?
PHYLLIS
(would like to take
him by the shoulders
and shake him until
his teeth rattle)
Oh, for God's sake, Kramer. You have
got to be the world's most naive
human being.
(leaning forward)
Murray has gone in and changed every
single ad you've done on the entire
Fire and Ice campaign. Every layout...
Every idea... Every single thing,
right down the line.
TED
No. No, I don't believe it. Jim
O'Connor would never let anything
like that happen. He gave me my shot
in this business. If it wasn't for
Jim O'Connor I'd be � I don't know
where I'd be. He's a wonderful man...
PHYLLIS
(apologetic for having
upset Ted)
Kramer, I'm sorry. All I was trying
to do was �
TED
(cutting her off)
I don't want to hear another word
against him. Not another word. He's
a wonderful man... a wonderful man...
CUT TO:
INT. TED KRAMER'S OFFICE � DAY
INSERT: The finished proof of the ad that Murray had done,
that Ted had seen in O'Connor's office.
ON TED
TRACKING WITH HIM as he steams out of his door and marches
along the corridor to O'Connor's office.
SECRETARY
(as Ted brushes past
her)
I'm sorry, Mr. O'Connor is in
conference.
But it is too late. Ted barrels into O'Connor's office without
bothering to knock.
CUT TO:
INT. O'CONNOR'S OFFICE � DAY
O'Connor is alone in the office. He looks up startled as Ted
comes barging in.
TED
(furious)
All right, Jim. You said I was running
this show, right? You said no
decisions without my approval, right?
(brandishing the ad)
Well what the hell is this? What's
going on, Jim?
O'CONNOR
(embarrassed)
Well, ah... I thought it over and I
decided we're doing it Murray's way.
TED
Jim, this is garbage. This isn't
anything like what we talked to Revlon
about. None of it. You can't �
O'CONNOR
(tough)
That's my decision, Ted and that's
final.
CUT TO:
INT. DINING AREA � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
ON BILLY
Who sits looking down at the plate of food in front of him
as though it was a coiled rattlesnake about to strike.
BILLY
What is it?
ON TED
Preoccupied, jumpy. He is eating, but he doesn't taste a
thing.
TED
Salisbury steak.
BILLY
I hate it.
TED
You don't hate it. We had Salisbury
steak last week and you liked it
fine.
BILLY
(stubborn)
No I didn't. I hate the brown stuff.
It's gross.
TED
(strained patience)
All it is is onions and gravy.
BILLY
I'm allergic to onions.
TED
You are not allergic of onions. You've
had them lots of times.
BILLY
(sullen)
I want a pizza.
TED
(trying not to lose
patience)
No. This is fine. Just take a bite,
you'll like it fine.
Reluctantly, Billy takes a tiny bite. He barely puts it in
his mouth before he spits it out with a great show of being
physically ill.
BILLY
I think I'm going to throw up.
TED
(getting pissed off)
Oh, for God's sake... Here.
He reaches across and scrapes most of the sauce off of the
meat.
TED
There, okay? Now that's just plain
old hamburger.
BILLY
Some of the brown stuff is still
there.
TED
(through clenched
teeth)
Then eat around it.
BILLY
No.
TED
(anger building)
Now listen to me, young man. Do you
know what I had to go through to put
this goddamn food on the goddamn
table?
BILLY
(obstinate)
I don't care. I hate it. I want pizza.
TED
(blowing up)
Not on your life. That's it. I've
had it with crap around this house.
From now on, no more pizza! Get it?
Starting right now you can eat real
food like a normal human being!
BILLY
No!
By now both of them are out of control.
TED
You want to know something?! You are
a spoiled selfish little brat! Now
eat �
Billy takes his plate and looking his father straight in the
eye deliberately overturns it, spilling food everywhere.
ON TED
He is out of his chair like a shot, crosses to Billy and
jerks him to his feet.
TED
(yelling)
Goddamnit! Go to your room!
He half-carries, half-drags the child kicking and screaming
into his room. THE CAMERA TRACKS ALONGSIDE THEM.
BILLY
(at the top of his
voice)
Owwww... You're hurting me... You're
hurting me... I hate you... I hate
you...
TED
(seething)
You're no bargain either, pal.
BILLY
I want my mommy... I want my mommy..
By now they have reached Billy's room. Ted dumps him on the
bed unceremoniously and starts out of the room.
BILLY
(sobbing)
I want my... mm... ommy... I want
mmmy... mommy...
TED
(at the door)
Tough shit. You're stuck with me.
And he slams the door behind him.
CUT TO:
WIDE SHOT
The dining area. Ted sits down and tries to resume his meal
alone.
BILLY (O.S.)
(sobbing, fighting to
catch his breath)
I want my... mmmo... mmmy. I want
mmmy mmo... mmy...
CLOSER IN ON TED
As he lifts his glass to take a drink and we can SEE that he
is shaking like a leaf.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN � NIGHT
ON TED
As he finishes doing the last of the dishes, dries his hands
and looks around to make sure that everything has been put
away. He flips off the light and, as THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH
HIM, he walks from room to room, turning off the lights,
until he reaches the door to Billy's room which is still
closed. Ted hesitates for a moment, then eases open the door
and steps inside.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S ROOM � NIGHT
TED'S POV
Billy lies sprawled across the bed, all tangled up in the
covers.
ON TED
As he crosses to the sleeping child and starts to straighten
the covers.
BILLY
(tentatively)
Daddy?
TED
(all anger gone)
Yeah?
BILLY
I'm sorry...
TED
(kisses him)
That's okay, pal. Go back to sleep.
It's very late.
He starts to get up, when:
BILLY
Daddy?
TED
Uh huh?
BILLY
(very quiet)
Are you... gonna go... away?
ON TED
Stunned at the question.
TED
Of course I'm not going away. I love
you very much. I'll be right here.
There is a beat of silence, then:
BILLY
(it comes pouring out)
That's why mommy left... isn't it?
'Cause I was bad...
The boy begins to weep.
TED
(he puts his arm around
Billy and holds him
close)
Oh, Christ... Oh, Christ...
(he thinks for a
moment, then:)
No, pal. Your mom loves you very
much. The reason she left didn't
have anything to do with you.
(pause, this is very
painful)
Look, I don't know if this will make
any sense to you, okay? But I'll try
and explain. You see the reason your
mom left was because... Well, I guess
it was because I kept trying to make
her into a certain kind of person...
Make her be the way I thought a wife
was supposed to be. Only she wasn't
like that. She was...
(smiles to himself)
Well, she wasn't like that. And now,
when I think about it, I can see she
tried very hard to be like I wanted
� very hard. And when she couldn't,
then she tried to tell me about it.
Only I wouldn't listen. I guess I
thought that if I was happy, that
meant she was happy too. Only she
wasn't. The truth is, the only reason
she didn't leave a lot sooner was
because she loves you so much. Joanna
stayed until she couldn't stand me
any longer and then she left... But
it wasn't you, pal. It wasn't you.
There is a long beat of silence as Billy thinks about this.
Clearly an enormous burden has been lifted from his shoulders.
Finally:
BILLY
Is mom ever coming back?
TED
You mean for good?
Billy nods.
TED
I don't think so.
BILLY
(thoughtfully)
Oh...
Ted gets to his feet, starts for the door.
TED
Now go to sleep. It's very late.
BILLY
Good night.
TED
Sleep tight.
BILLY
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
TED
See you in the morning light.
BILLY
Dad?
Ted pauses in the doorway, smiles.
TED
Yes?
BILLY
I love you...
CUT TO:
EXT. CENTRAL PARK � DAY
SERIES OF TRACKING SHOTS
As Ted runs along beside Billy, who is learning to ride a
bike.
Then, in the last shot, Ted lets go of the bike and runs
along just behind. Slowly as Billy gains confidence he speeds
up, leaving Ted farther and farther behind. Finally, as Billy
glances over his shoulders.
CUT TO:
TED'S POV
As the boy, by now a considerable distance away, turns and
waves.
ON TED
Waving back, a grin of enormous pride on his face. He glances
around, embarrassed to make sure no one is watching and wipes
tears from his eyes.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
ON A BUS
As it pulls to a stop and a mob of mothers and children get
off.
Among them we spot Billy and Ted Kramer. THE CAMERA PANS
WITH THEM as they cross the street and enter the school
building. THE CAMERA CONTINUES IT'S PAN across the street,
to a Coffee Shop with large plate glass windows facing the
school. There, standing in the window, watching, is Joanna
Kramer. HOLD AS THE CAMERA SLOWLY ZOOMS IN ON HER and we SEE
a look of overwhelming pain on her face.
CUT TO:
EXT. PLAYGROUND, CENTRAL PARK � AFTERNOON
ON TED AND THELMA
Sitting on a bench, the area around them is stacked high
with toys that the kids have brought with them to the park.
OFF SCREEN we can HEAR Billy and Kim racing around, playing.
TED
(a little too casual)
Thel, you ever hear from Joanna?
THELMA
(also with deliberate
nonchalance)
Not for a couple of months. The last
time I heard from her she was living
in San Francisco.
TED
(surprised)
California?
THELMA
(watching him)
Uh, huh... She said she had a good
job, was playing a lot of tennis.
She wanted to know all about Billy.
There is a beat of silence, then:
TED
(the real question)
She ever ask about me?
THELMA
(lying)
Uh, huh... Yeah...
TED
What d'you tell her?
THELMA
I told her you're doing a pretty
good job.
BILLY (O.S.)
Daddy! Daddy!
Ted glances around:
HIS POV
Billy and Kim are standing near the jungle Jim. Billy has a
toy airplane in his hand.
BILLY
Daddy, look! Presenting Billy Kramer's
Fantastic Superjet!
And he begins to race around the area, making jet noises and
holding the airplane in his hand.
REVERSE ON TED
Watching him, smiling.
ON BILLY
Weaving in and around the benches. He turns and starts back
towards Ted. As he does:
QUICK CUT: INSERT:
Billy's foot, as he trips.
ON BILLY
As he starts to fall, still holding onto the airplane.
QUICK CUT: TED
Watching, horrified.
ON BILLY
As he hits the concrete.
ON TED
He leaps to his feet, starts toward the boy.
ON BILLY
As he looks up.
JUMP CUT IN TO EXTREME CLOSEUP
There is a terrible-looking gash running from his cheek into
his hairline.
Kim screams at the sight of the blood.
BILLY
(terrified)
Daddy!
CUT TO:
EXT. ENTRANCE TO CENTRAL PARK � AFTERNOON
ON THE ENTRANCE
As Ted, carrying Billy, wrapped in his coat, comes barreling
out of the park, nearly knocking over several people with
shopping bags, and begins running like hell WITH THE CAMERA
TRACKING JUST IN FRONT OF HIM. In the BACKGROUND we SEE Thelma
and Kim chasing after him. THE LENGTH OF THE TRACKING SHOT
SHOULD BE MUCH LONGER THAN WE EXPECT. IT SHOULD, IN FACT,
COVER THE THREE CITY BLOCKS BETWEEN THE KRAMER APARTMENT AND
THE HOSPITAL, ACROSS STREETS WITHOUT STOPPING FOR THE LIGHT,
ALONG CROWDED SIDEWALKS WITHOUT STOPPING, ENDING FINALLY ON
THE EMERGENCY ENTRANCE TO THE HOSPITAL. IT MUST BE GENUINELY
SUPERHUMAN, GENUINELY HEROIC.
CUT TO:
INT. EXAMINATION ROOM, EMERGENCY SECTION, HOSPITAL � DAY
ON TED KRAMER
He is covered with Billy's blood, it is on his face, his
shirt, his trousers. At the moment 'he stands helpless,
watching as, Off-Screen, a surgeon examines Billy's wound.
SURGEON (O.S.)
(calm, reassuring)
That's good, Billy... That's a brave
boy... Now then, how's that? Now
we've cleaned it out...
WIDER SHOT
Billy lies on the examining table with the doctor bending
over him.
SURGEON
There. That wasn't so bad, was it?
Billy doesn't say anything.
SURGEON
Now then, you just wait here, Billy.
I want to talk to your dad for a
minute.
The doctor motions for Thelma to wait with Billy and he
crosses to Ted who stands in the doorway.
CLOSER IN ON THEN
SURGEON
(low voice, again
calm and reassuring)
Your boy is very lucky, Mr. Kramer.
One inch over and it would have caught
the eye.
REACTION TED
SURGEON
But I'm going to have to take some
stitches.
TED
(flat)
How many?
SURGEON
Ten.
Ted closes his eyes, there is a sharp intake of breath.
SURGEON
Because of the position of the wound
and your son's age, I don't think
there will be much of a scar.
Otherwise I'd call in a plastic
surgeon.
Ted nods.
SURGEON
Now, I'd advise you to wait outside.
It'll be eas �
TED
(like a shot)
No.
SURGEON
(reasonable)
Mr. Kramer, there's �
TED
(softly, but with
real vehemence)
Fuck you. He's my son. I'm staying
with him.
CUT TO:
CLOSE ON TED
He holds his son tightly while the doctor stitches up the
boy's wound. From THIS CAMERA ANGLE we can SEE Ted's face,
but only the back of Billy's head. Although we do not see
the stitches being made, we do SEE the doctor's hand, with
the needle and surgical thread as it moves into and out of
view with a slow, steady rhythm. Billy's hand clutches Ted's
so tightly that the knuckles are white.
BILLY
(softly, as each stitch
is taken)
Ohhh... Ohhhh... Ohhhhh...
TED
(whispering to his
child)
It's okay, son... I'm here... Just a
little more to go... Don't worry,
son... I'm here...
FADE TO BLACK:
EXT. KRAMER APT. BLDG. � NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
It is late, only a few lights are still on.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S ROOM � NIGHT
ON BILLY
He lies in bed, fast asleep, his head swathed in bandages.
THE CAMERA PANS AWAY FROM HIM across to Ted, who sits in a
nearby rocking chair, watching his son. HOLD FOR A BEAT,
then Ted gets to his feet, walks quietly to the door and
steps out into the hall, closing the door behind him.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN � NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
Thelma having washed and dried the dishes is now wiping off
the top of the counter top, more to keep busy than anything
else. She looks around as Ted enters.
THELMA
How is he?
REVERSE ON TED
Standing in the doorway. He hasn't changed his clothes and
he is still covered with blood.
TED
(nods)
He's okay... Thel, can I ask you a
favor?
THELMA
Sure.
TED
I don't mean a little favor. I mean
a big F favor.
Thelma nods. She watches Ted closely. He doesn't look at
her.
TED
Thelma, if I die �
THELMA
(aghast)
What?
TED
(quickly)
I didn't say I'm going to die, but
if I should �
THELMA
(deeply upset)
Don't say that! I don't want to hear
you say that!
TED
(firmly)
Thel, listen to me. If, on the million
to one shot that I should �
(correcting himself)
That anything should happen to me.
Would you take care of Billy?
THELMA
(amazed)
Me?! You want me to take care of
Billy?!
TED
I thought about it a lot and you're
the only person I know that I trust
with him. I mean, if anything happened
to me, he'd be okay with you. You're
a good mother.
Silence. Thelma looks away from him.
TED
(hastily)
I know it's not an easy thing to
answer.
Silence. She still cannot look at him.
TED
Look, if it's too much responsibility
�
Thelma nods, unable to speak.
TED
You're sure?
She nods again.
TED
Thank you, Thel. Thank you very much.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S ROOM � EARLY MORNING
MEDIUM SHOT ON BILLY
As he lies in bed asleep. Some time has passed and Billy's
bandage is much smaller. HOLD ON HIM as we HEAR OFF SCREEN
Sound: From the street below, the regular six-forty-five
garbage truck that serves as Billy's alarm clock.
HOLD ON BILLY
As he wakes up, struggles to his feet.
THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH HIM as, eyes closed, he stumbles into
the bathroom, pees, and still not remembering to flush the
toilet walks into the bedroom and wakes his father. As the
child turns and walks toward the kitchen, THE CAMERA HOLDS
ON TED. He heaves himself to his feet and, eyes closed, in
much the same manner as his son, stumbles into the bathroom.
He automatically flushes the toilet without bothering to
look, walks into the living room, opens the front door and
picks up the paper. As he starts into the kitchen, he meets
Billy coming the other way carrying two plates, a doughnut
on each.
THE CAMERA NOW TRACKS WITH BILLY as he walks into the living
room, carefully sets the plates on the dining table, crosses
to the television set, and turns it on. He returns to the
table, and sits down as Ted appears carrying two glasses of
orange juice and vitamins. He takes a seat in the chair
opposite Billy and opens his paper and starts to read.
HOLD ON THEM as they sit without talking, eating their
breakfast � the only sound, a children's cartoon program
coming from the T.V.
From time to time Ted glances up from his paper to look across
at the cartoon.
HOLD ON THEM as we SEE that they have become roommates in
the best sense of the word.
EXT. TED'S OFFICE BLDG. � MIDTOWN � DAY
WIDE SHOT
It is a gray, cloudy day in mid-November. Snow is falling.
Sound-effect: a telephone ringing. Then:
TED'S VOICE
Hello?
JOANNA'S VOICE
Ted?
TED'S VOICE
Joanna?
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT, ISLE OF CAPRI � NIGHT
ON THE DOOR
As Ted enters, looks around. The Maitre d'hotel approaches.
From his attitude, it is clear that Ted and Joanna were
regular customers.
MAITRE D'HOTEL
Good evening, Mr. Kramer. We haven't
seen you for a long time. Mrs. Kramer,
she waits for you in the back.
TED
Thank you, John.
THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH TED as he walks toward the back room
of the restaurant. Several waiters approach and say hello,
the piano player looks up and smiles. As he reaches the door
to the back room.
CUT TO:
INT. BACK ROOM
TED'S POV � JOANNA
She sits against the wall, a glass of white wine in front of
her.
She is dressed simply and no longer has a tan. Nevertheless,
Joanna is still stunningly beautiful. HOLD ON HER FOR A BEAT
as she looks up, smiles.
ON TED
He stands watching her, his knees weak. It is impossible not
to fall in love with her all over again.
TWO SHOT
As he crosses to her table, sits down.
JOANNA
Hello, Ted. You look well.
TED
So do you.
The waiter appears, carrying a scotch and soda. He sets it
down on the table in front of Ted.
WAITER
The usual, Mr. Kramer.
TED
(not taking his eyes
off Joanna)
Thanks, Gino.
The waiter nods and promptly disappears.
JOANNA
How's the new job?
TED
Fine.
There is a self-conscious pause. From the bar, the piano
player begins playing a new song. From Ted and Joanna's
reaction, it is clearly a song that has meant a great deal
to them in the past.
They listen for a moment, then:
TED
Look at us, Joanna. Just like any
old married couple having dinner.
Who would believe it.
JOANNA
Yes... How's Billy?
ON TED
The question he has been dreading.
TED
He's great... except...
(not looking at her)
...Except he had... he fell and he
cut his face. He... He has a scar,
Joanna, from about here to here.
(indicating where and
how big)
There is a beat of silence. A moment of shared feeling.
TED
(he has to say it to
someone)
I can't help but feel somehow...
it's my fault. I keep thinking I
could've done something � stopped
it...
JOANNA
You can't tell it from a distance,
Ted.
For the first time he looks up at her.
TED
What?
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
JOANNA
I've seen him.
TED
You have?
JOANNA
A few times. Sometimes I sit in that
coffee shop across the street and
watch when you take him to school.
ON TED
Speechless.
JOANNA
He looks like a terrific kid.
TED
He is...
(he still can't get
over it)
You sat in that coffee shop across
from school �
JOANNA
(completing the
sentence)
Watching my son... Ted, I've been
living in New York for the past two
months.
TED
(amazed)
You've been living here, in the city?
JOANNA
(a deep breath)
Ted... The reason I wanted to see
you... I want Billy back.
TED
You want what?!
JOANNA
(firm)
I want my son. I'm through sitting
in coffee shops looking at him from
across the street. I want my son.
TED
Are you out of your mind?! You're
the one that walked out on him,
remember?
JOANNA
(trying to explain)
Ted, listen to me... You and I, we
had a really crappy marriage �
(hastily)
Look, don't get so defensive, okay?
It was probably as much my fault as
it was yours... Anyway when I left I
was really screwed up �
TED
Joanna, I don't give a �
JOANNA
(she will be heard)
Ted, all my life I'd either been
somebody's daughter or somebody's
wife, or somebody else's mother.
Then all of a sudden, I was a thirty-
two-year-old, highly neurotic woman
who had just walked out on her husband
and child. I went to California
because that was about as far away
as I could get. Only... I guess it
wasn't far enough. So I started going
to a shrink.
(leaning forward,
very sincere)
Ted, I've had time to think. I've
been through some changes. I've
learned a lot about myself.
TED
(like a shot)
Such as?
Silence.
TED
(boring in)
Come on, Joanna, what did you learn?
I'd really like to know.
Silence.
TED
(relentless)
One thing, okay? Just tell me one
goddam thing you've learned.
There is a beat of silence, then:
JOANNA
(quiet, determined)
I've learned that I want my son.
ON TED
He reacts as though he has been slapped.
TED
Joanna, go be a mother. Get married,
have kids. Don't get married, have
kids. Do whatever you want. I don't
give a damn. Just leave me out of it
� and leave my baby out of it.
JOANNA
Ted, if you can't discuss this
rationally -
TED
(getting to his feet)
Joanna, go fuck yourself!
And with that he turns on his heels and stalks out of the
restaurant.
CUT TO:
INT. LAWYER'S OFFICE � DAY
WIDE SHOT
A large, very plush office: lots of antiques, beautiful
nineteenth century paintings on the wall along with
autographed photographs of at least three ex-Presidents of
the United States. Sitting behind a large and imposing desk
is JOHN SHAUNESSY, a handsome, formidable man in his early
sixties. He is well-dressed, a cornflower in his buttonhole,
that sort of thing. At the moment, Shaunessy leans back in
his chair as Ted finishes his story.
TED
(leaning forward,
intense)
Look, she walked out on her own child,
right? That's desertion, right? Mr.
Shaunessy, I'm telling you it's an
open and shut case.
SHAUNESSY
First, there's no such thing as an
open and shut case. Especially where
custody is involved. Got it?
Ted nods.
SHAUNESSY
Second, the burden is on us to prove
your ex-wife is an unfit mother.
That means I'm going to have to play
rough and, if I play rough, you can
bet they will too. Can you take that,
Mr. Kramer?
Ted nods.
SHAUNESSY
Third, it'll cost you five thousand
dollars.
REACTION TED
That's an astronomical amount of money to him.
SHAUNESSY
That's if we win. If we lose, you
could end up having to pay your wife's
court costs as well.
TED
(determined)
Fine.
SHAUNESSY
Good. You've hired yourself a hell
of a lawyer, Mr. Kramer.
(down to business)
How old is the child?
TED
Six.
ON SHAUNESSY
He shakes his head.
SHAUNESSY
That's tough. In most cases involving
a child that young, the court tends
to side with the mother.
ON TED
Agitated. This is not what he wanted to hear.
TED
But she signed over custody. Here...
He digs in his pockets, pulls out a piece of paper and thrusts
it at the lawyer.
SHAUNESSY
(glancing at it)
I'm not saying we don't have a shot,
but it won't be easy...
(thinks for a moment)
Mr. Kramer, do me a favor. There is
something I find very helpful in
matters like this. I sit down and
make a list of all the pros and cons
on an issue. I actually write them
down and look at them. I want you to
do that, okay? Then, after that, if
you're really sure you want to retain
custody of your child � then we'll
go in there and whip their asses.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM � KRAMER APT. � LATE AT NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
Ted sits at the dining table, the supper dishes have been
pushed aside. He has a legal pad in front of him and is
writing. THE CAMERA DOLLIES IN CLOSER.
INSERT � TED'S POV
The legal pad. On one side Ted has written "Pro" and on the
other, "Con." Underneath "Con" Ted has written a long list
of the drawbacks involved in keeping Billy: Sex Life, Money,
Possibility of Remarriage, Sleep, Emotional Dependence. The
"Pro" side of the list is empty.
ON TED
He sits for a moment, staring at the list, then he crumples
the paper, gets to his feet.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY'S ROOM � NIGHT
ON THE DOOR
As Ted enters. He crosses to Billy's bed where the child is
fast asleep, sits down on the edge, and starts to rub the
child's back.
TED
I love you Billy Kramer.
BILLY
(half-asleep)
I love you too daddy.
Ted kisses the child, gets to his feet and starts toward the
door.
TED
Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs
bite...
BILLY
(almost asleep again)
See you in the morning light...
CUT TO:
INT. O'CONNOR'S OFFICE � DAY
WIDE SHOT
O'Connor stands with his back to Ted, looking out the window.
From the beginning this is clearly an awkward and unpleasant
moment.
O'CONNOR
(scared to do what he
is about to do)
Look, ah... Ted. I just got word
from the guys at Revlon and... ah
they did some marketing tests on our
campaign and the results were...
CLOSE ON TED
Hold on him listening as it slowly dawns on him that he is
being fired.
O'CONNOR
(stiff)
Disappointing. It only pulled a
fourteen share and they were hoping
for a twenty five minimum, and...
ah... they're not very happy and...
Well, the guys have decided they
want to... ah, re-think the entire
concept and... Look, I don't like
having to do this, okay?... But... I
mean, what I mean is... ah, I'm going
to have to... ah, let you go �
TED
(not really sure he
heard right)
Are you firing me, Jim?
ON O'CONNOR
He still has his back to Ted.
O'CONNOR
C'mon, Ted, don't get emotional.
Okay?
(whining)
Look, this isn't exactly an easy
thing for me to do, y'know? I swear
Murray and I did everything we could,
but those sons of bitches were out
for blood. I mean it was all I could
do to keep the account inside the
shop... Look, I promise, if I hear
of anything I'll let you know first
thing.
Ted, I want � O'Connor looks around.
O'CONNOR
Ted?...
HIS POV
The room is empty, the door stands open and Ted is gone.
O'CONNOR'S VOICE
Ted?...
CUT TO:
INT. TED'S OFFICE � DAY
WIDE SHOT
As Ted grabs a picture of Billy from his desk, takes his
jacket and coat and stalks out the door.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
TRACKING ALONGSIDE TED
As he walks along the street in a state of total shock. Behind
him, in the windows of expensive stores we note Christmas
decorations.
CUT TO:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM, EMPLOYMENT AGENCY � DAY
WIDE SHOT
Ted sits across from the interviewer, a polished young man
in his middle twenties, very efficient, he sounds a bit like
a tape recording.
INTERVIEWER
(glancing at a form
Ted has filled out)
Ummm, hmmm... umm, hmmm...
(the good news)
Well, this looks very good.. Of course
(the bad news)
...you understand this is the worst
time of the year to look for a job.
TED
(panic)
What?! What do you mean, I don't
understand.
INTERVIEWER
(patronizing)
Mr. Kramer, nobody even thinks about
leaving their job until after they
get their Christmas bonus.
TED
Look, you don't understand. I need a
job. I've got a kid and �
INTERVIEWER
(smooth)
I understand and I'm absolutely sure
something wonderful will turn up...
(ending any further
discussion)
...after the first of the year.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
ON A TELEPHONE BOOTH
Ted stands inside, talking on the phone. AS THE CAMERA DOLLIES
IN CLOSER, he hangs up the receiver and takes the employment
section of the New York Times which is filled with listings
he has circled and crosses off one. He goes on to the next,
takes a dime from the stack on the shelf in front of him and
starts to dial.
CUT TO:
EXT. TED KRAMER'S APT. HOUSE � EVENING
ESTABLISHING SHOT
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN � NIGHT
ON TED
Who stands at the sink doing the last of the dishes. A
dishtowel is tucked into his belt, serving as an apron. HOLD
ON HIM as we HEAR:
Sound-effect: The phone ringing.
Ted wipes his hands, picks up the phone.
TED
Uh, huh?
SECRETARY'S VOICE
(from the phone)
Mr. Kramer? Please hold for Mr.
Shaunessy...
Then, a moment later:
SHAUNESSY'S VOICE
Ted? They've set the court date. I
just heard today... It's...
(checking his notes)
January sixth.
TED
(despair)
Oh, Christ.. .John, there's some-
thing I ought to tell you. My... ah,
situation has... changed. I lost my
job.
There is a long pause, too long.
TED
John?
SHAUNESSY'S VOICE
(thoughtfully)
Ted, I won't lie to you, we don't
have a hope in hell of winning a
custody hearing if you're out of
work.
Ted doubles over the phone like he has been hit in the
stomach.
TED
(softly, but with
real feeling)
Good Christ, Joanna, just get the
hell out of my life.
SHAUNESSY'S VOICE
Ted? Are you there?
TED
Yeah.
SHAUNESSY'S VOICE
Any prospects?
TED
(trying to make himself
believe it)
Don't worry. I plan to have something
within twenty-four hours, John.
SHAUNESSY'S VOICE
(amazed)
How the hell are you going to do
that?
TED
(grim)
I don't know.
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM � EMPLOYMENT AGENCY � DAY
WIDE SHOT
The same young man sits across the desk from Ted.
INTERVIEWER
(smirk)
Mis-ter Kramer, as I mentioned
yesterday, this is a very bad time
of year to look for work. Now I'm
sure we'll have something for you by
mid-February, March at the latest.
CLOSE ON TED
Leaning forward, impatient.
TED
I need a job, now.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
The interviewer gives Ted a weary look. Then he starts to
flip through the card file.
INTERVIEWER
(going through the
motions)
No... No... No...
Finally he pauses at one card, pulls it out.
INTERVIEWER
(doubtfully)
There might be something at J. Walter
Thompson. But...
(shaking his head)
...I don't think they're really
serious. The position's been open
for two months and...
(shrugs)
They may just be on a fishing
expedition.
(cheerful)
I'm sure you'll be much happier if
you wait until after the first �
TED
(checking his watch)
Call up the people at J. Walter
Thompson. Set up an appointment at
four.
INTERVIEWER
(politeness strained
almost to the breaking
point)
Mis-ter Kramer, it's...
(checking his watch)
...almost four now. It's the Friday
before Christmas. Nobody is going to
want to �
TED
(leaning forward,
tough as nails)
Either you call and set up the
appointment, or I'll call. And if I
call, you lose the commission.
INTERVIEWER
(arch)
My, we are a hot shot aren't we?
Ted is already on his feet and halfway out the door.
TED
You bet your ass.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE ADVERTISING MANAGER, J. WALTER THOMPSON � LATE
AFTERNOON
It is dark outside and the lights are on in the office. From
beyond the door, we can hear the sounds of a Christmas office
party in full swing.
ON JACK ACKERMAN
The advertising manager. A balding man in his mid-forties,
he wears a suit, complete with vest. At the moment he sits
behind his desk listening to Ted's spiel, from time to time
he glances at the resume on the desk in front of him.
TED (O.S.)
So, Mr. Ackerman, as you can see
from my resume, my experience in
setting up the leisure package concept
means that I've spent a lot of time
working along the same lines as your
multiple buys and your regional
advertising ideas. I know the
pitfalls, but � and this is more
important � I know the potential
revenue for the company inherent in
these programs.
ON TED
As he finishes. He sits back, pleased with himself.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
ACKERMAN
Well, Mr. Kramer, I must say this
has been very impressive. I'd like
to think about it and get back to
you.
TED
(leaning forward)
Mr. Ackerman, is there anyone else
that I should see before you come to
a decision.
ACKERMAN
Mr. Spencer, our Advertising Director.
TED
(no time to waste)
Could I see him right away?
ACKERMAN
(taken aback)
I'm sorry, but he's leaving this
evening for a two-week vacation.
I'll set up something the moment he
gets back.
He gets to his feet, starts to shake Ted's hand, ready to
end the interview.
TED
I'd like to see him now � before he
leaves.
ACKERMAN
Mr. Kramer, I don't think �
TED
(means it)
I want this position very much.
Ackerman gives Ted a long, considered look, then:
ACKERMAN
Wait here.
He turns and goes out the door.
CUT TO:
INT. OUTER OFFICE, J. WALTER THOMPSON � LATE AFTERNOON
The large room is crowded with secretaries, junior executives,
researchers, editors, ad-men, etc., etc. They all have drinks
in their hands and there is a good deal of kissing and general
conviviality going on.
THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH ACKERMAN as he steps out of his office,
closes the door behind him and makes his way across the room
to MR. SPENCER, the Advertising Director. At the moment,
Spencer stands with his coat over one arm and a drink in his
hand talking to a very pretty young woman. Ackerman approaches
him, whispers something in his ear. Spencer shakes his head
and points to his watch. Ackerman says something else and
finally, with a look of weary resignation, Spencer excuses
himself from the pretty young woman and follows Ackerman
back to his office. THE CAMERA FOLLOWS THEM. As Ackerman
opens the door to his office, THE CAMERA IS ANGLED so that
we can SEE past them, into the office where Ted stands
waiting.
ACKERMAN
(as they enter)
Mr. Spencer, Mr. Kramer.
SPENCER
(not wasting any time)
So you're the go-getter. All right,
you've got ten minutes.
As the door closes behind them, blocking our view, THE CAMERA
PANS UP to a clock over the door. It reads five-fifteen.
MATCH DISSOLVE TO:
INT. ACKERMAN'S OFFICE � LATE AFTERNOON
ON A CLOCK
Which now reads five twenty-two. THE CAMERA PULLS BACK TO
REVEAL Spencer, now sitting in Ackerman's chair, his feet on
Ackerman's desk. Ted has just finished his pitch.
SPENCER
(sipping his drink)
That's very interesting, Mr. Kramer.
I must say, it's very interesting.
Let me think about it. I'll let
Jack...
(indicating Ackerman)
...know and he'll get in touch with
you.
Spencer gets to his feet, starts to retrieve his coat.
ON TED
As he decides to take a gamble.
TED
Excuse me, I believe you said I had
ten minutes.
ON SPENCER
Almost at the door, looking around.
SPENCER
Well?
ON TED
Checking his watch.
TED
That means I've got two minutes left.
I understand you're paying twenty-
five.
Spencer nods.
TED
(a deep breath, then
a real huckster)
All right, I'll tell you what I'm
gonna do � I'll take the job at twenty-
two-five. Now, that's twenty-five
hundred less than you're offering.
The only thing is, you have to say
yes right now. Not tomorrow. Not
next week. Not after the holidays.
It's worth it to me for a yes right
now and I'll take twenty-five hundred
less.
There is a long beat of silence as Spencer and Ackerman look
at one another. They were clearly not prepared for this.
TED
(watching them)
Today only. One day only. Twenty-two
five.
SPENCER
Mr. Kramer, can we talk privately
for a moment?
TED
Certainly.
CUT TO:
OUTER OFFICE � LATE AFTERNOON
ON TED
As he steps out of Ackerman's office, sits down. Now, all of
the fear, all of the anxiety that he has been fighting down
comes welling up. What if he pushed too hard? What will he
do if he doesn't get a job? If Ted Kramer could fall to his
knees and pray, he would.
CROSS-CUT WITH THE CHRISTMAS PARTY
That swirls around him. We notice in particular, one very
pretty young woman flirting with a number of men. She is
wearing a dress with straps, one of them has broken and she
has patched it with a piece of masking tape.
Finally the door to Ackerman's office opens and he steps
out.
ACKERMAN
Mr. Kramer?
Ted jumps to his feet, starts into the office.
CUT TO:
INT. ACKERMAN'S OFFICE � LATE AFTERNOON
ON SPENCER
He looks at Ted carefully for a long time, then:
SPENCER
(grins)
Welcome aboard, Mr. Kramer.
CLOSEUP TED
There is an instant of relief, then, with astounding cool:
TED
Well, gentlemen, I'm pleased to be
with you.
ANOTHER ANGLE
As they shake hands, say their good-byes. THE CAMERA TRACKS
WITH TED as he makes his way through the Christmas party
that is still going strong. Then, suddenly, as he passes the
very pretty woman we noticed earlier, he turns and kisses
her.
QUICK CUTS
As a look passes between them, a sudden chemistry, something
we have not seen in Ted before.
TED
(steps back from the
astounded girl, grins)
Merry Christmas.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
ON A BUS
As it pulls to a stop, the doors open and, along with the
usual flood of mothers and children we SEE Ted and Billy.
THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH THEM as they walk to school. Billy is
talking a mile a minute, describing in minute detail the
plot of an episode of "I Dream of Jeannie." Ted listens
intently, then, almost involuntarily, he glances over his
shoulder in the direction of the Coffee Shop.
HIS POV
There, standing in the window, watching, is Joanna.
ON TED AND BILLY
As they continue to walk. Ted's eyes remain on Joanna. As
they reach the door to the school, Ted looks at his son.
TED
(kissing Billy goodbye)
You're a terrific kid, Billy Kramer.
He stands watching as Billy rushes off into the building.
Then he turns back and once again looks in the direction of
the Coffee Shop.
HIS POV
This time there is no one there.
CUT TO:
EXT. KRAMER APT. BLDG. � NIGHT
ESTABLISHING SHOT
HOLD FOR A BEAT as we HEAR:
OFF SCREEN Sound: A telephone ringing. Then, a moment later:
TED'S VOICE
Hello?
SHAUNESSY'S VOICE
Ted? John Shaunessy here. I just got
a call from your wife's lawyer. She
wants to see the kid.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
Ted Kramer, the phone cradled against his ear is cleaning up
the remains of one of Billy's attempts to make the perfect
peanut butter sandwich.
CLOSE ON TED
Horrified.
TED
What?! She wants what?!
SHAUNESSY'S VOICE
(he's been through
this a million times)
She's the mother. That means she's
within her legal rights.
TED
(agitated)
John, what if she kidnaps him. I've
heard all these �
SHAUNESSY
(the patience of a
saint)
Look, Ted, I don't honestly think
she would go to the trouble of suing
you for custody of the child if she
was planning on kidnapping him.
TED
(doubtful)
I don't know, John... I mean, to be
brutally honest, I'm not so sure
what kind of mental shape Joanna's
in right now. Y'know she admitted
she was seeing a shrink.
SHAUNESSY'S VOICE
(a flicker of interest)
You ever see her talk to the walls?
TED
No, but �
SHAUNESSY'S VOICE
Then you don't have a choice. Have
Billy at the Seventy-Fifth Street
entrance to Central Park, Saturday
at ten.
CUT TO:
EXT. FIFTH AVE. SIDE OF CENTRAL PARK � DAY
ON TED AND BILLY
TRACKING IN FRONT OF THEM as they walk along the Central
Park side of Fifth Ave. From their attitude it is clear that
each of them, for their own reasons, is very nervous.
TED'S POV � TRACKING FORWARD
About half a block away Joanna paces back and forth. She
hasn't seen them and it is clear that she is as nervous as
they are.
ANOTHER ANGLE ON TED AND BILLY
Ted stops, turns to Billy and gives him a last-minute check.
Then, spotting a smudge he takes his handkerchief, spits on
it and wipes the child's chin. Now satisfied, he takes Billy's
hand and they continue. Suddenly:
CLOSEUP BILLY
As he spots his mother.
BILLY
Mommy!
QUICK CUT: JOANNA
As she turns, spots Billy, starts to run.
ON BILLY
TRACKING WITH HIM as he lets go of Ted's hand and starts to
run flat out toward his mother. She kneels, opens her arms
wide for him and he goes barreling into her, almost knocking
her down from the impact.
JOANNA
(somewhere between
laughter and tears)
Oh, Billy... Oh my Billy... Oh my
son...
WIDER SHOT
Joanna gets to her feet and takes Billy's hand.
JOANNA
(to Ted, but looking
at Billy)
I'll have him back at six.
And they start off in the opposite direction.
ON TED
Realizing that Billy has not said good-bye, has not looked
at him once.
JUMP CUT TO:
WIDER SHOT
Ted stands helpless, watching them leave.
JUMP CUT TO:
WIDER SHOT
Ted, now almost lost from view on the crowded street, still
hasn't moved.
FADE TO BLACK:
WIDE SHOT
Ted and Phyllis, getting ready to go to bed. They look like
a couple that has been married at least five years. Ted is
busy talking as he takes off his tie, jacket and starts to
unbutton his shirt. Phyllis is getting undressed also, hanging
things in the closet, putting things away in drawers. But as
Ted continues to talk, she watches him apprehensively, it is
clear that something is wrong.
TED
(he has become an
armchair lawyer)
So, naturally, you assume that since
Joanna left, that would be a
compelling point against her, right?
PHYLLIS
(thoughtful)
Right.
TED
But it doesn't work that way. A major
decision was handed down by the
Appellate Court in 1969 � in the
case of Haskins vs. Haskins.
PHYLLIS
Kramer �
TED
Now in Haskins vs. Haskins the court
ruled in favor of the mother, thus
establishing a precedent for awarding
the child to the mother even though
she previously abandoned the baby.
PHYLLIS
Kramer... There's something I ought
to tell you.
TED
Yeah?
PHYLLIS
I've been offered a job in Washington
with H.E.W.
CLOSE ON TED
He stops what he is doing, turns to her.
TED
And?
PHYLLIS
(a deep breath)
I'm going to take it.
REACTION � TED
He sits down on the bed.
PHYLLIS
It's a very good job � too good to
pass up. I'll be handling funding
for the whole...
(she stops, sits beside
him on the bed)
Look, I...
(she means love)
..."like" you a lot. And you...
(she means love)
..."like" me, okay? Maybe if it was
a year from now, maybe things would
be different...
TED
(quiet)
But it's not a year from now, is it?
She shakes her head, then, reaches out and touches him.
PHYLLIS
I'll miss you, Kramer...
INT. KRAMER APT. � DAY
ON THE FRONT DOOR
It is open and standing in the doorway is an attractive woman,
a bit overweight and very serious. This is DR. ALVAREZ, the
court appointed psychiatrist.
ALVAREZ
Mr. Kramer?
TED
Yes?
ALVAREZ
I'm Dr. Alvarez, Judge Atkins asked
me to look in on your son and prepare
an evaluation sheet.
TED
Oh, yes. Won't you come in.
Dr. Alvarez enters the apartment. Ted helps her off with her
coat.
ALVAREZ
Where is the child?
TED
He's in his room, playing.
ALVAREZ
Good. I'll see him in there.
As Ted carries her coat to the closet, Dr. Alvarez walks
into the living room, looks around.
ALVAREZ
Mr. Kramer, do you ever have sex in
here with anyone?
TED
Doctor, I attempt to conduct my social
life discreetly. At the moment I am
seeing no one.
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
ALVAREZ
Does that distress you?
TED
Not particularly.
ALVAREZ
What does?
TED
The prospect of losing my child.
ALVAREZ
(makes some notes,
then:)
Very well, I'd like to see him if I
may.
They cross to the door of Billy's room. Ted opens it.
INT. BILLY'S ROOM � DAY
THEIR POV
The room is a mess, blocks are stacked everywhere. Billy
sits in the middle playing with his toys.
ON TED AND DR. ALVAREZ
They stand in the doorway.
TED
Billy. This is Dr. Alvarez. She would
like to talk to you.
BILLY
(looking up from his
toys)
Sure.
There is an awkward pause as Ted remains in the doorway.
DR. ALVAREZ
(pointedly)
I'd like to talk to Billy privately.
TED
(embarrassed at being
caught)
Oh, yeah...
Reluctantly, Ted leaves, closing the door behind him.
THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH HIM as he crosses the living room to
the couch where he has a stack of legal books and a number
of note pads spread out. He is obviously continuing his legal
education.
THROUGH OUT THE FOLLOWING, THE CAMERA REMAINS ON HIS FACE.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
What do you have here, Billy?
BILLY (O.S.)
Detroit.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
Have you ever been to Detroit?
BILLY (O.S.)
No. But I've been to Brooklyn.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
I see you have people there. What
are their names?
BILLY (O.S.)
That's Kim... and this one's Thelma
and that's Mrs. Willewska and this
is daddy and that's Batman and over
there is Robin.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
What about your mommy?
BILLY (O.S.)
Oh, sure. Here, this can be mommy.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
Do you like to be with your mommy?
Ted by now has given up all pretense of working. He wags his
pencil in the direction of the door.
TED
(the defense attorney)
Objection. You're leading the witness.
BILLY (O.S.)
Sure.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
What do you like best about her?
BILLY (O.S.)
Lunch in a restaurant.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
What do you like best about your
daddy?
BILLY (O.S.)
Playing.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
Tell me, does your daddy ever hit
you?
REACTION � TED
Eyes wide. He starts to get up.
TED
Objection.
BILLY (O.S.)
Sure. Lots of times.
This brings Ted all the way to his feet. He starts across
the living room headed for the door to Billy's room.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
(interested)
When does he hit you?
Ted has his hand on the doorknob, about to enter.
BILLY (O.S.)
He hits me on the planet Kriptarium,
when I steal the buried treasure
from the famous peanut butter factory.
ALVAREZ (O.S.)
In real life when does he hit you?
BILLY (O.S.)
(laughing)
My daddy doesn't hit me, silly. Why
would my daddy hit me?
CUT TO:
EXT. MODERN OFFICE BUILDING, MIDTOWN � DAY
WIDE SHOT
It is a Saturday afternoon. HOLD FOR A BEAT as we SEE Ted
Kramer and Billy approaching. Billy is talking a mile a
minute. Ted listens intently, absorbed in the boy's
description. As they turn into the entrance of the office
building:
INT. CORRIDOR, J. WALTER THOMPSON � DAY
WIDE SHOT
A long corridor with desks for secretaries lined up next to
doors leading to smaller individual offices. As they approach
a door in the foreground that bears a small sign reading,
"Ted Kramer":
TED
(interrupting Billy,
who is still in the
middle of his story)
See. That's my name.
BILLY
(looking at the sign)
It's my name too.
TED
Right.
As he opens the door:
CUT TO:
INT. TED KRAMER'S OFFICE � DAY
It is a pleasant enough office, but nothing spectacular,
windows that look out over Fifty-seventh Street, simple
Formica furniture, that sort of thing.
ON THE DOOR
As they enter.
BILLY
(he stops dead in his
tracks at the sight
of the office)
Wow!
TED
(pleased)
You like it?
Billy crosses to the window, presses his nose to the glass,
looks out.
BILLY
Wow! Is this really where you work?
Ted nods, walks over to the desk and begins collecting
paperwork to do over the weekend. As he does, Billy goes
through the office, sitting in every chair, looking in every
drawer.
BILLY
Is this really your desk?
TED
Yep.
BILLY
Is that really your chair?
TED
Uh huh...
BILLY
Wow! That's neat. Can I sit in it?
TED
Sure.
Billy plops himself down in Ted's chair, swivels around.
BILLY
Did mommy ever see this?
TED
No, she never did.
BILLY
Are you going to get remarried?
TED
I don't know. I hadn't thought much
about it.
BILLY
Are you going to remarried Phyllis?
TED
(shaking his head)
No.
CLOSE ON BILLY
There is a long pause, then:
BILLY
Will you and mommy get remarried?
Ted stops what he is doing, looks across at Billy:
TED
No, son. Daddy and mommy will never
get remarried.
BILLY
(looking around Ted's
office)
Boy, I bet you if mommy ever saw
this she'd remarried you.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM � VERY EARLY IN THE MORNING
CLOSE ON AN ALARM CLOCK THAT SITS ON A NIGHTSTAND
As it rings, THE CAMERA PANS ACROSS and we SEE Joanna sitting
in bed wide awake, smoking. As she puts out the cigarette
she has been smoking and starts to get out of bed,
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN � TED KRAMER'S APT. � EARLY MORNING
ON TED
Who stands with a cup of coffee in his hands, looking out
the window, but not seeing anything. HOLD FOR A BEAT, then
he checks his watch and starts for the bedroom.
CUT TO:
INT. JOANNA'S BEDROOM � MORNING
ON JOANNA
As she selects a very conservative suit from her closet.
CUT TO:
INT. BILLY KRAMER'S BEDROOM � MORNING
WIDE SHOT
As Ted, now fully dressed, wearing a dark blue suit, white
shirt, conservative tie, leans over Billy and wakes him.
CUT TO:
INT. COFFEE SHOP � MORNING
Joanna sits across from her lawyer as he talks to her,
intently, giving her last-minute instructions.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � MORNING
ON TED KRAMER
Taking Billy to school. They stop at the entrance, Ted kisses
his son good-bye and stands for a moment watching as the boy
runs into the building.
CUT TO:
EXT. COURTHOUSE � DAY
WIDE SHOT
It is a bleak January morning, the streets around the
courthouse are mobbed with people on their way to work. We
SEE Ted Kramer, a tiny figure among hundreds, coming out of
the subway. He crosses the street and starts up the steps of
the large and forbidding courthouse.
CUT TO:
INT. COURTHOUSE � DAY
WIDE SHOT
As Ted gets off the elevator and starts down the corridor,
toward the courtroom. In the f.g., � standing by the door of
the courtroom itself is John Shaunessy, he greets Ted, they
shake hands and talk together for a moment. Then, as they
enter the courtroom:
CUT TO:
INT. COURTROOM
ON THE DOOR
As Ted enters, looks around. Mrs. Willewska sits in one of
the back rows, wearing her best Easter hat. Ted pauses by
her, thanks her for coming.
Several rows in front of her is Thelma. Ted crosses to her,
they talk quietly between themselves for a few moments. Then
Ted moves on to a table at the front of the room where John
Shaunessy waits.
ON THE DOORS AT THE BACK OF THE COURTROOM
As they swing open and Joanna, along with her lawyer, a MR.
GRESSEN. THE CAMERA PANS WITH THEM as they walk to the front
of the room and take their seats at the table opposite Ted
and his lawyer.
CLERK
Oyez, oyez... The third Circuit Court
of the State of New York, Judge Atkins
presiding is now in session. All
rise...
WIDE SHOT
As the judge enters, takes his seat.
Opening business of the court.
WIDE SHOT
As Gressen (Joanna's lawyer) gets to his feet.
GRESSEN
Your honor. As our first witness I
would like to call Joanna Kramer.
TWO SHOT � TED AND SHAUNESSY
The lawyer leans across to Ted.
SHAUNESSY
(stage whisper)
Real direct. Motherhood... They're
going right for the throat.
WIDE SHOT
As Joanna gets to her feet, crosses to the witness stand and
is sworn in.
Note: Throughout the following, we continually CROSS-CUT to
Ted Kramer, leaning forward, listening intently. It becomes
evident that, in spite of himself, there are moments he feels
great compassion for Joanna.
GRESSEN
Now then, Mrs. Kramer, would you
tell the court how long you were
married?
JOANNA
Six years.
GRESSEN
And would you describe those years
as happy?
JOANNA
The first couple, yes, but after
that it became increasingly difficult.
GRESSEN
Mrs. Kramer, did you ever work in a
job while you were married to your
ex-husband?
JOANNA
No, I did not.
GRESSEN
Did you wish to?
JOANNA
Yes. I tried to talk to Ted � my ex-
husband � about it, but he wouldn't
listen. He refuses to discuss it in
any serious way. I remember one time
he said I probably couldn't get a
job that would pay enough to hire a
baby-sitter for Billy.
GRESSEN
Tell me, Mrs. Kramer, are you employed
at the present time?
JOANNA
Yes, I work for Jantzen as a
sportswear designer.
GRESSEN
And what is your present salary?
JOANNA
I make thirty-one thousand dollars a
year.
REACTION � TED
Stunned.
GRESSEN
(switching tactics)
Mrs. Kramer, do you love your child?
JOANNA
(emphatically)
Yes. Very much.
GRESSEN
And yet you chose to leave him?
There is a long pause, then:
JOANNA
(speaking carefully,
with great thought)
Yes... Look, during the last five
years we were married, I had... I
was getting more and more... unhappy,
more and more frustrated. I needed
to talk to somebody. I needed to
find out if it was me, if I was going
crazy or what. But every time I turned
to Ted � my ex-husband, he couldn't
handle it. He became very... I don't
know, very threatened. I mean,
whenever I would bring up anything
he would act like it was some kind
of personal attack. Anyway, we became
more and more separate... more and
more isolated from one another.
Finally, I had no other choice, I
had to leave. And because of my ex-
husband's attitude � his unwillingness
to deal with my feelings, I had come
to have almost no self-esteem...
(with feeling)
At the time I left, I sincerely
believed that there was something
wrong with me � that my son would be
better off without me. It was only
when I got to California and started
into therapy I began to realize I
wasn't a terrible person. And that
just because I needed some creative
and emotional outlet other than my
child, that didn't make me unfit to
be a mother.
GRESSEN
(to the judge)
Your honor, I would like to place in
evidence a report on Mrs. Kramer's
therapy by her therapist, Dr. Elinore
Freedman of La Jolla, California.
And with that he hands both the judge and Shaunessy a thick
sheaf of papers. Then, turning his attention back to Joanna:
GRESSEN
Mr. Kramer, why did you set up
residence in New York?
JOANNA
Because my son is here. And his father
is here. As a mother, I don't want
my child to be separated from his
father.
GRESSEN
Mrs. Kramer, can you tell the court
why you are asking for custody?
There is a pause, then:
JOANNA
Because he's my child... Because I
love him. I know I left my son, I
know that's a terrible thing to do.
Believe me, I have to live with that
every day of my life. But just because
I'm a woman, don't I have a right to
the same hopes and dreams as a man?
Don't I have a right to a life of my
own? Is that so awful? Is my pain
any less just because I'm a woman?
Are my feelings any cheaper? I left
my child � I know there is no excuse
for that. But since then, I have
gotten help. I have worked hard to
become a whole human being. I don't
think I should be punished for that.
I don't think my son should be
punished for that. Billy's only six.
He needs me. I'm not saying he doesn't
need his father, but he needs me
more. I'm his mother.
There is a beat of silence, then:
GRESSEN
Thank you, Mrs. Kramer. I have no
further questions.
ON SHAUNESSY
As he stands, collects his papers from the table and, taking
his own sweet time, crosses to Joanna.
SHAUNESSY
Now then, Mrs. Kramer, you said you
were married seven years. Is that
correct?
JOANNA
Yes.
SHAUNESSY
In all that time did your husband
ever strike you or abuse you
physically in any way.
JOANNA
No.
SHAUNESSY
Did your husband strike or physically
abuse his child in any way?
JOANNA
No.
SHAUNESSY
Would you describe your husband as
an alcoholic?
JOANNA
No.
SHAUNESSY
A heavy drinker?
JOANNA
No.
SHAUNESSY
Was he unfaithful?
JOANNA
No.
SHAUNESSY
Did he ever fail to provide for you?
JOANNA
No.
SHAUNESSY
(wry smile)
Well, I can certainly understand why
you left him.
GRESSEN
Objection.
SHAUNESSY
(switching his line
of questioning)
How long do you plan to live in New
York, Mrs. Kramer?
JOANNA
Permanently.
Note: During the early part of Shaunessy's cross-examination,
Joanna has been very forthright, very sure of herself. Now,
as he starts getting tougher, she begins to falter.
SHAUNESSY
Permanently?
(smiles, like a shark
smiles)
Mrs. Kramer, how many boy friends
have you had � permanently?
ON JOANNA
Her head snaps back as though she's been hit.
JOANNA
I don't recall.
SHAUNESSY
(boring in)
How many lovers have you had �
permanently?
JOANNA
(looks toward Gressen
for help)
I don't recall.
SHAUNESSY
More than three, less than thirty-
three � permanently?
ON GRESSEN
He is again on his feet, outraged.
GRESSEN
Objection!
JUDGE
Overruled. The witness will answer,
please.
JOANNA
(almost a whisper)
Somewhere in between.
SHAUNESSY
Do you have a lover now?
GRESSEN
(furious)
Objection!
SHAUNESSY
(to the judge)
Your honor, I would request a direct
answer to a direct question. Does
she have a lover?
JUDGE
I'll allow that. The witness will
answer please.
JOANNA
(in a whisper)
Yes.
SHAUNESSY
Is that... permanent?
JOANNA
(by now she is becoming
thoroughly rattled)
I... I don't know...
SHAUNESSY
Then, we don't really know, do we,
when you say "permanently" if you're
planning to remain in New York, or
even to keep the child for that
matter, since you've never really
done anything in your life that was
continuing, stable, that could be
regarded as permanent.
ON THE PETITIONER'S TABLE
Gressen jumps to his feet.
GRESSEN
Objection! I must ask that the counsel
be prevented from harassing the
witness.
JUDGE
Sustained.
SHAUNESSY
(a new attack)
Mrs. Kramer, how can you consider
yourself a fit mother when you have
been a failure at virtually every
relationship you have undertaken as
an adult?
GRESSEN
(red in the face)
Objection!
JUDGE
Sustained.
SHAUNESSY
I'll ask it another way. What was
the longest personal relationship
you have had in your life � other
than parents and girlfriends?
JOANNA
(rattled)
Ah... I guess I'd have to say...
with my child.
SHAUNESSY
(wonder, irony)
Whom you've seen twice in a year?
Mrs. Kramer, your ex-husband, wasn't
he the longest personal relationship
in your life?
JOANNA
(reluctantly)
I suppose...
SHAUNESSY
Would you speak up, Mrs. Kramer? I
couldn't hear you.
JOANNA
(louder)
Yes.
SHAUNESSY
How long was that?
JOANNA
We were married two years before the
baby. And then four very difficult
years.
SHAUNESSY
So, you were a failure at the longest,
most important relationship in your
life.
GRESSEN
Objection!
JUDGE
Overruled.
JOANNA
I was not a failure.
SHAUNESSY
(sarcastic)
Oh? What do you call it then � a
success? The marriage ended in
divorce.
JOANNA
(so angry she forgets
her cool)
I consider it less my failure than
his.
SHAUNESSY
(seizes on this)
Congratulations, Mrs. Kramer. You
have just rewritten matrimonial law.
You were both divorced, Mrs. Kramer.
GRESSEN
(on his feet)
Objection!
SHAUNESSY
(to the judge)
Your honor, I'd like to ask what
this model of stability and
respectability has ever succeeded
at?
(to Joanna)
Mrs. Kramer, were you a failure at
the longest, most important personal
relationship in your life?
CLOSE ON JOANNA
Who sits silently.
JUDGE
Please answer the question, Mrs.
Kramer.
JOANNA
(whisper)
It did not succeed.
SHAUNESSY
(suddenly fierce)
Not it... Not it, Mrs. Kramer � you.
Were you a failure at the most
important personal relationship of
your life?
CLOSER IN ON JOANNA
Silence.
SHAUNESSY
Were you?
EXTREME CLOSEUP JOANNA
JOANNA
(barely audible)
Yes.
WIDE SHOT
Shaunessy smiles, turns his back on Joanna and walks back
toward the respondent's table.
SHAUNESSY
No further questions.
CLOSER IN ON THE TABLE
As Shaunessy sits down next to Ted.
TED
(leaning over, in a
whisper)
Jesus Christ. Did you have to be so
rough on her?
SHAUNESSY
(tough)
Do you want the kid or don't you?
ON JOANNA
Shaken, she gets down from the witness stand, crosses to the
petitioner's table without looking at Ted. She sits, leans
across to her lawyer and whispers something in his ear. As
he nods...
CUT TO:
INT. COURTROOM, LATER IN THE DAY
ON JIM O'CONNOR
Who sits in the witness stand. At the moment he is being
examined by Gressen.
GRESSEN
Now then, Mr. O'Connor, how long did
Ted Kramer work for you?
O'CONNOR
Eight, almost nine years.
GRESSEN
And did you have a close personal
relationship?
O'CONNOR
(in a whisper)
Yes...
GRESSEN
And how did you find his work?
O'CONNOR
It was good. He was a hard worker, a
lot of drive, a real hustler.
GRESSEN
And yet you fired him.
There is a long pause.
O'CONNOR
(looking down)
Ted was a good worker. But, ah...
after his wife left him and he was
taking care of the kid on his own,
things started to change. Look, I
know he had problems, I understand
that. I've got problems, everybody's
got problems. But I've got a shop to
run, I can't let that kind of thing
get in the way...
(quietly)
I guess I felt that Ted was letting
his duties at home interfere with
his responsibilities in the office.
GRESSEN
Thank you. I have no further
questions.
Shaunessy stands up.
SHAUNESSY
Mr. O'Connor, does the agency still
have the Fire and Ice account?
O'CONNOR
(up tight)
No.
SHAUNESSY
Mr. O'Connor, can you tell me where
you are employed at the moment?
O'CONNOR
(stiff)
At the moment I am unemployed.
ON THE JUDGE
JUDGE
If the petitioner has no further
witnesses, we will hear the respondent
tomorrow morning at 9:30.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
WIDE SHOT
Ted sits at the dining table poring over law books, writing
copious notes on a legal pad. Billy sits across from him
drawing in a pad with magic markers. HOLD FOR A BEAT as Billy
looks up at his father. It is clear that something is
bothering him.
BILLY
Mom � I mean, dad?
TED
(not looking up)
Uh, huh?
BILLY
What did you do when you were little?
TED
(still involved in
his books)
I guess about the same kind of things
you do.
BILLY
Did you watch "I Dream of Jeannie?"
TED
(distracted)
Uh, uh... We didn't have television
then.
ON BILLY
Eyes wide. He finds this hard to believe.
BILLY
You didn't have T.V.?
ON TED
He looks up for the first time, smiles.
TED
Nope. It hadn't been invented yet.
He starts to go back to work.
BILLY
(this is serious
business)
Was there apple juice when you were
little?
TED
Yeah, there was apple juice.
BILLY
Was there Burger King?
TED
Uh, uh. There was no such a thing as
Burger King.
BILLY
What else wasn't there?
ON TED
He takes a long look at his son, then closes the law book,
puts his notes away.
TED
Well, let's see... There wasn't
McDonald's. And there wasn't
astronauts... And there wasn't frozen
yogurt. And there wasn't...
As he continues on about what wasn't, we
FADE TO BLACK:
EXT. COURTHOUSE � DAY
ESTABLISHING SHOT
INT. COURTROOM � DAY
ON THELMA
She sits in the witness stand being examined by Shaunessy.
From her attitude it is clear that she is very wrought up,
that all of this is taking a heavy emotional toll on her.
SHAUNESSY
Mrs. Phillips, how long have you
known Ted Kramer?
THELMA
Six years. Ever since Ted and Joanna
moved into the building.
SHAUNESSY
How often do you see Mr. Kramer and
his son?
THELMA
(to the judge, by way
of explanation)
Charley, my husband, and I are...
divorced and Kim, that's our daughter
is about Billy's age and the children
play together a lot. So, I guess we
see each three or four times a week.
SHAUNESSY
Can you describe the relationship
between Mr. Kramer and his son?
THELMA
It's beautiful. It's just beautiful.
They have a beautiful relationship.
ON GRESSEN
Getting wearily to his feet.
GRESSEN
(patronizing)
Objection, your honor. The answer
is, to be generous, very vague.
SHAUNESSY
Can you recall any particular incident
that relates to Mr. Kramer's care of
his child?
THELMA
(fighting a losing
battle with her
emotions)
Ted � Mr. Kramer, spends a great
deal of time with his child. I don't
just mean hours, I mean good time,
involved time. He reads to Billy.
They play together. They talk all
the time...
(tears start)
He is a very... kind man... a very...
devoted father, and... and...
(she turns to Joanna)
And Joanna if you ever saw them
together... there wouldn't be a trial
at all...
(she breaks down,
weeping)
Oh, shit... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
Note: during this we cross-cut to Joanna, who sits, staring
at her friend, shaken.
SHAUNESSY
(gently)
No further questions. Thank you Mrs.
Phillips.
GRESSEN
(without looking up
from his notes)
No questions.
Thelma leaves the stand and walks back to her seat.
CUT TO:
INT. COURTROOM � DAY
ON TED KRAMER
Sitting in the witness stand.
SHAUNESSY
Mr. Kramer, would you tell the court
exactly why you want to retain custody
of your child.
TED
(speaking quietly)
When Joanna �
(to the judge,
correcting himself)
� my ex-wife � when she was talking
before about how unhappy she was
during our marriage... Well, I guess
most of what she said was probably
true. There were a lot of things I
didn't understand � a lot of things
I would do different if I could.
Just like I guess there are a lot of
things Joanna wishes she could
change... But we can't. Some things,
once they are done, can't be undone.
Joanna says she loves Billy. I believe
she does. So do I. But the way it
was explained to me, that's not the
issue. The only thing that's supposed
to matter here is what's best for
Billy... When Joanna said why
shouldn't a woman have the same
ambitions as a man, I suppose she's
right. But by the same token what
law is it that says a woman is a
better parent simply by virtue of
her sex? I guess I've had to think a
lot about whatever it is that makes
somebody a good parent: constancy,
patience, understanding... love.
Where is it written that a man has
any less of those qualities than a
woman? Billy has a home with me,
I've tried to make it the best I
could. It's not perfect. I'm not a
perfect parent.
(unconsciously echoing
something Joanna
said earlier)
I don't have enough patience.
Sometimes I forget he's just a little
kid... But I love him... More than
anything in this world I love him.
SHAUNESSY
Thank you, Mr. Kramer. No further
questions.
ON GRESSEN
As he gets up from the petitioner's table and crosses to the
witness stand.
GRESSEN
(hard-lining it)
Mr. Kramer, by any chance have you
ever had a woman in your bed while
your child was asleep in the next
room?
TED
I suppose.
GRESSEN
(pointedly)
So do I.
SHAUNESSY
Objection!
JUDGE
Sustained.
GRESSEN
(switching to another
line of attack)
Mr. Kramer, isn't it true that you
were fired from your last job not
more than six weeks ago?
TED
(not losing his cool)
Technically, the agency lost a big
account and seventy four people were
let go. I was one of them.
GRESSEN
(snotty)
You were fired, correct?
TED
Yes, but I'm with J. Walter Thompson
now. I don't think that will happen
again.
GRESSEN
(snide)
Give them time...
SHAUNESSY
Objection, your honor! Counsel is
harassing the witness.
GRESSEN
(to the judge, pettish)
Your honor, I'm only examining the
man's employment record. He pretends
to fitness when he cannot hold a
job.
JUDGE
Sustained.
ON GRESSEN
He is thoughtful for a moment, like a man trying to decide
whether or not to drop the bomb. Then, turning back to Ted:
GRESSEN
(very tough)
Mr. Kramer, did your child nearly
lose an eye when he was in your care?
REACTION � TED
Stunned. He looks across at Joanna.
QUICK CUT � HIS POV
Joanna looks away.
GRESSEN
(boring in)
Mr. Kramer, did you, or did you not
tell the child's mother that you
were responsible for the injury that
permanently disfigured your child?
Shaunessy is on his feet racing toward the bench.
SHAUNESSY
(vehement)
Objection! Your honor, counsel is
raising a question that is not germane
to these proceedings.
GRESSEN
(to the judge)
While the child was in the care of
the witness, he cut his face badly
and is now scarred.
JUDGE
(to Gressen)
Are you introducing the question of
negligence here, counselor?
GRESSEN
Yes, your honor.
JUDGE
I see. Well, you'll have to do better
than that. Do you have any affidavits
to support negligence?
GRESSEN
I do not, your honor, however �
JUDGE
This is an isolated incident,
counselor, unless you can prove
otherwise.
GRESSEN
(back to Ted)
Does the witness deny the injury
took place?
JUDGE
(before Ted can say
anything)
No, counselor, I'm going to over-
rule you on this line of questioning.
GRESSEN
Then I have concluded my questions.
ON THE PETITIONER'S TABLE
Joanna sits, still not looking at Ted. She holds her face,
one hand shielding her eyes.
CUT TO:
ON THE JUDGE
As he makes his closing statement.
CUT TO:
INT. MAIN LOBBY, COURTHOUSE � DAY
WIDE SHOT
Shaunessy and Ted stand talking, reviewing the case. Then
the two men shake hands, the lawyer waves goodbye, turns and
starts back into the building. THE CAMERA PANS WITH TED as
he walks toward the main exit.
CUT TO:
EXT. MAIN ENTRANCE, COURTHOUSE � DAY
ON TED
As he comes out of the building, starts down the steps.
JOANNA (O.S.)
Ted.
He stops, turns:
HIS POV
There, standing waiting for him is Joanna.
CLOSE ON TED
His face a mask of cold anger. She crosses to him.
JOANNA
I'm sorry... I just mentioned it in
passing. I never thought he'd use
it.
TED
(sarcastic)
Yeah, well he did, didn't he.
JOANNA
Please, Ted. I never would have
brought it up if I thought �
TED
I'm not interested, Joanna. Goodbye.
WIDE SHOT
As he turns and walks away from her, leaving her standing,
watching him as he disappears.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
ON TED AND THELMA
It is a bleak winter's day. THE CAMERA TRACKS WITH THEM as
they walk along, Ted carrying a bag of groceries, Thelma
with cleaning.
The children run around them, playing.
THELMA
You heard anything yet?
TED
(shakes his head)
Any day.
They walk in silence for several beats, each clearly lost in
their own thoughts. Then:
THELMA
Ted.
TED
(preoccupied)
Uh, huh...
THELMA
(this is hard to say)
Ah, Charley and I are... Well, we're
thinking about... I mean, actually
we're sort of talking about maybe
getting back together.
TED
(thunderstruck)
You and Charley?
Thelma nods.
TED
Really?
Thelma nods.
TED
(conflicting emotions)
Hey, that's terrific.
THELMA
(hastily)
Maybe. I said maybe.
(apologizing for her
good fortune)
What I mean is, ah... I don't think
it'll really work out, but Charley
seems to want it, so...
She leaves the sentence unfinished. They walk in silence for
several more steps. Then she takes his hand.
THELMA
(can't help grinning)
Oh, God... Ted, I am really scared.
They walk in silence for a beat, then Ted looks OFF SCREEN,
spots something:
HIS POV
The Saturday Father, restless, bored, walking with his
daughter who is also bored. It is clear that they have nothing
to say to one another. He looks around, spots Ted, waves and
starts in his direction.
CLOSEUP TED
He reacts as though he has seen a vision of his own death.
TED
(to Thelma, urgent)
C'mon.
(to Billy and Kim)
Billy, Kim. Let's go.
WIDE SHOT
As Ted ushers them across the street, away from the Saturday
Father.
CUT TO:
INT. MEN'S BAR, MIDTOWN � DAY
A crowded, rather posh watering spot. Shaunessy sits alone
at a table for two, a drink in front of him.
REVERSE ON THE DOOR
As Ted enters, spots Shaunessy and starts in his direction.
CLOSER ON SHAUNESSY'S TABLE
As Ted sits down.
TED
Well?
ON SHAUNESSY
As he looks up at Ted, says nothing.
ON TED
He realizes that they have lost.
TED
Oh, Christ!
CROSS-CUTTING BETWEEN THEM:
SHAUNESSY
The judge went for motherhood straight
down the line.
TED
I lost him? I lost him?
SHAUNESSY
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
TED
Oh, no..
SHAUNESSY
(reading from a piece
of paper)
Ordered, adjudged and decreed that
the petitioner be awarded custody of
the minor child, effective Monday
the 23rd of January. That the
respondent pay for the maintenance
and support of said child, four
hundred dollars each month. That the
father shall have the following rights
of visitation: every other weekend,
one night each week to be mutually
agreed upon and one half of the
child's vacation period.
(looks up at Ted)
That's it.
TED
(grim)
What if I fight it?
SHAUNESSY
(matter of factly)
We can appeal, but I can't guarantee
anything.
TED
(determined)
I'll take my chances.
SHAUNESSY
It's going to cost.
TED
(his mind is made up)
Don't worry. I'll get the money.
There is a beat of silence, then:
SHAUNESSY
I've got to tell you something, Ted.
This time it'll be Billy that pays.
This time I'll have to put him on
the stand.
CLOSE ON TED
As his last hope goes crashing to the ground.
TED
Oh, Christ no... I can't do that. I
just... can't...
(he looks up at the
lawyer in despair)
Excuse me... I'm sorry... I just...
That is all Ted can manage to say. He gets to his feet and
rushes for the door.
CUT TO:
EXT. KRAMER APT. BLDG. � DAY
ON THE ENTRANCE
As Mrs. Willewska comes out. Her eyes are red from crying.
THE CAMERA PANS WITH HER as she turns up the street on her
way to pick up Billy from school. THE CAMERA HOLDS IN POSITION
as she meets Thelma. They stand talking for a moment, then
Thelma turns and starts to run toward the building.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY, OUTSIDE TED'S APT. � DAY
ON THE ELEVATOR DOORS
They open and Thelma steps out. She runs to the door, begins
to knock.
THELMA
(calling out)
Ted!... It's me... Ted?...
There is a beat of silence, then:
TED (O.S.)
(very quiet)
Please go away, Thel... I... I just
have to be by myself for a little
while...
THELMA
Ted, I just heard...
TED (O.S.)
Please, Thel...
Thelma leans against the door and begins to sob.
THELMA
I'm so... sorry... Oh, Ted, I'm so
sorry...
FADE TO BLACK:
FADE IN:
EXT. KRAMER APT. BLDG. � DAY
WIDE SHOT
As Mrs. Willewska brings Billy back from school.
CUT TO:
INT. KRAMER APT. � DAY
ON THE FRONT DOOR
It opens and Billy and Mrs. Willewska enter. Billy sees Ted
and rushes across to him.
BILLY
(excited)
Daddy! You're home early. Did you
get fired again?
TED
(laughing in spite of
himself)
No, son, I didn't get fired.
(fake cheerful)
I'll tell you what we'll do, okay?
How about if we go to a Burger King
and then we watch a little T.V. and
then we get packed to go to the
country tomorrow. Just you and me...
How 'bout that?
CUT TO:
EXT. KRAMER APT. BLDG. � NIGHT
ESTABLISHING SHOT
HOLD FOR A BEAT, then:
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM � KRAMER APT. � NIGHT
ON TED
He sits at the dining table, a typewriter in front of him.
As he begins to type, hunt and peck system, we:
CUT TO:
INSERT � HIS POV
The page in the typewriter. We SEE and HEAR at the same time.
TED (V.O.)
Joanna... This is by way of
introducing William Kramer. He is a
sweet child, as you will see. He is
allergic to grape juice, but will
more than make up for the loss in
apple juice. He is also allergic to
peanut butter from the health food
store, but not from the supermarket.
Don't ask me why.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
ON A CORNER MAILBOX
As Ted mails the letter.
TED (V.O.)
At times, in the night he will have
nightmares, one particular monster
is called The Face. The Face, as
best as I can determine, looks like
a circus clown without a body, and
from what the pediatrician says, and
what I have read, may be sexual fear
of losing his penis, or a fear of
his own anger, or just a circus clown
he saw once.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
ON THE SAME MAILBOX
As a sack of mail is loaded into a truck.
TED (V.O.)
His doctor, by the way, is still Ed
Davies. The Sundafed is for colds,
one tablespoon every four hours. I
will pack it in the blue suitcase.
CUT TO:
EXT. JOANNA KRAMER'S APT. BLDG. � DAY
WIDE SHOT
A POSTMAN enters the building carrying a bag of mail.
TED (V.O.)
His best stories have been Babar and
Winnie the Pooh up to now, with Batman
moving up. His housekeeper has been
Etta Willewska and she is the main
reason for the note. She is a loving
woman, conscientious, very concerned
about Billy and more important, Billy
cares about her.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY, JOANNA'S APT. BLDG. � DAY
ON A STACK OF MAIL
As it is dropped in front of a doorway. We SEE that the letter
from Ted to Joanna is on top.
TED (V.O.)
I urge you to retain her. Her number
is 722-8099, and I think she will
take the job if it is offered. I'm
sure other things will come up. Ask
me what you need to and I guess
eventually we'll talk...
CUT TO:
INT. JOANNA'S APT. � DAY
ON HER
As she finishes reading the letter.
TED (V.O.)
That's all I can think of, except to
repeat what I said before, he's a
terrific kid. I'm grateful for the
time we've had together and I feel I
am a better man because of my son...
Ted.
CUT TO:
EXT. BEACH � DAY
It is a clear, cold beautiful winter's day. Ted and Billy
walk
along the beach at the edge of the water. THE CAMERA TRACKS
WITH THEM. There are several beats of silence as Ted tries
to think of how to begin. Finally:
TED
Billy, sometimes when a mother and a
father are divorced, there's a
discussion about who the child should
live with, the mother or the father.
Now there is a man who is very wise.
He's called a judge. And a judge has
a lot of experience with divorces
and he decides who it would be best
for the child to live with.
BILLY
Why does he decide?
TED
Because... Well, that's what he does.
He's a very powerful man.
BILLY
Like a principal?
TED
Bigger than a principal. The judge
sits in robes in a big chair... The
judge has thought a lot about us,
about you and me and your mom, and
he has decided...
(a deep breath)
...he has decided that it would be
best for you to live with your mom
Joanna in her apartment.
(fake cheerful)
And I'm very lucky. Because even
though you'll live with your mom
Joanna I'll get to see you once a
week for dinner and a couple of
weekends a month.
BILLY
I don't understand, daddy.
TED
(trying very hard not
to cry)
What don't you understand, pal?
BILLY
Where will my bed be, where will I
sleep?
TED
At your mom's. She'll have a bed for
you in your own room.
BILLY
Where will my toys be?
TED
I'll send your toys there and I'm
sure you'll get some new ones.
BILLY
Who will read me my stories?
TED
Your mom.
BILLY
(worried)
Daddy, what if The Face comes when
I'm at mommy's?
TED
Your mom knows all about The Face,
okay? Don't worry, she'll tell The
Face to beat it.
BILLY
Will you come and say good-night to
me every night?
Suddenly Ted can't stand it any longer.
TED
Look, it's getting cold. Why don't
you go inside where it's warm. I'll
be along in a minute.
Billy hangs back, watching Ted.
TED
Go on, scoot.
The boy turns and runs back along the beach toward the house.
Then, he stops, turns back to look once more at his father.
HIS POV � LONG SHOT
Ted stands at the ocean's edge, his back to CAMERA, weeping.
FADE TO BLACK:
EXT. KRAMER APT. BLDG. � DAY
WIDE SHOT
It is early Monday morning.
CUT TO:
INT. KRAMER KITCHEN � MORNING
ON TED AND BILLY
They stand side by side, like a surgeon and his assistant.
Spread out on the counter in front of them are the makings
of French toast. The following is done with great efficiency,
in contrast to the first time we saw them go through the
same ritual. They work in silence except for an occasional
command. Each concentrating on this last moment of closeness,
each doing his best to avoid thinking about Billy's departure.
Finally:
ON BILLY
Looking at his father, trying to memorize the older man's
face.
Ted turns, sees his son watching him.
TED
(with false gaiety)
Hey? What's doin' with that bread?
Let's see a little hustle around
here.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM � KRAMER APT. � MORNING
WIDE SHOT
Billy's bags are packed and stacked neatly in the living
room.
Nearby, Billy and his father sit, silent, waiting.
Sound-effect: The intercom from the lobby buzzes.
CLOSER IN ON TED AND BILLY
Ted looks at his son, smiles. The boy smiles back.
TED
This is it, pal.
Billy, fighting back tears, nods.
Sound-effect: The intercom buzzes again.
Ted gets to his feet and starts toward the foyer.
CUT TO:
INT. FOYER � DAY
As Ted picks up the intercom:
TED
Yes?
JOANNA'S VOICE
Ted, it's Joanna. Can you meet me in
the lobby?... Alone?
And she hangs up before he can answer.
TED
(to Mrs. Willewska,
in the kitchen)
I'll be back in a minute.
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY � DAY
ON THE ELEVATOR DOORS
As they open, Ted steps out, looks around.
HIS POV
The lobby is dark, the only light coming from the window.
Joanna sits off to one side, wearing sunglasses. She looks
up as Ted approaches, a small smile on her face.
TED
(abrupt)
Okay, I'm here. Now why did you �
JOANNA
Ted, do you love him?
TED
Goddamnit, Joanna. What the �
JOANNA
(insistent)
Ted, do you love him?
He nods.
JOANNA
I love him too... I don't think I
ever knew how much until now.
There is a long pause as she looks at Ted, unable to speak.
Finally:
JOANNA
(a deep breath, then:)
Ted, when we got married it was
because I was twenty-seven years old
and I thought I should get married
and... when I had Billy it was because
I thought I should have a baby...
and I guess all I did was mess up my
life and your life and �
TED
Joanna, what the hell is �
JOANNA
(urgent)
Please... Please don't stop me. This
is the hardest thing I've ever had
to do..
ON TED
Struck by the urgency in her voice.
JOANNA
After I left... when I was in
California, I began to think, what
kind of mother was I that I could
walk out on my own child. It got to
where I couldn't tell anybody about
Billy � I couldn't stand that look
in their faces when I said he wasn't
living with me. Finally it seemed
like the most important thing in the
world to come back here and prove to
Billy and to me and to the world how
much I loved him... And I did... And
I won. Only... it was just another
"should."
(she begins to break
down)
...Sitting in that courtroom. Hearing
everything you did, everything you
went through... Something happened.
I guess it doesn't matter how much I
love him, or how much you love him.
I guess it's like you said, the only
thing that counts is what's best for
Billy. I don't know, maybe that's
all love is anyway... Ted, I think
Billy should stay with you...
TED
(stunned)
What?
JOANNA
(she reaches out,
takes his hand)
He's already got one mother, he
doesn't need two... He's yours...
(her last ounce of
reserve crumbles)
I won't fight you for him any more.
He's yours...
TED
Oh, God... Oh, my God...
JOANNA
Only can I still see him?
TED
No more waiting in Coffee Shops... I
promise.
Joanna's last ounce of reserve crumbles, she begins to sob.
Ted puts his arms around her and holds her. They do not kiss.
Then, after a few moments she steps back.
JOANNA
(chin high)
Okay... I think I'll go talk to my
son now.
(wiping her eyes)
How do I look?
TED
Beautiful.
They step into the elevator and, as the doors close, blocking
them from view, we...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. STREET � DAY
ON TED AND BILLY
TRACKING JUST IN FRONT OF THEM as they walk to the park.
They are deep in conversation, although we are too far away
to bear what they are saying. HOLD ON THEM and, as they reach
the entrance to the park, Billy first, then Ted begin to
run, overwhelmed with the sheer joy of being alive, of being
together. As they continue to run, THE CAMERA PULLS BACK AND
UP AND WE SEE that they are only two among thousands of
parents and children in Central Park on a sunny afternoon.
THE CAMERA CONTINUES TO PULL BACK until they are lost from
view and it is...
FADE OUT:
THE END
Kramer vs Kramer
Writers : Robert Benton
Genres : Drama
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although some limitations were reported , well - defined predetermined clinical and radiographical criteria are still considered by many authors as a reliable method to evaluate the long - term results of endodontic therapy [ 35 , 811 ] ; especially as previously has been demonstrated , a good correlation exists between clinical , radiographical , and histological findings [ 12 , 13 ] .
a preliminary short - term retrospective study on 180 patients evaluated the results of root canal treatment of 295 roots filled with laterally compacted gutta - percha cones and endorez sealer ( er , ultradent products inc .
er is a hydrophilic , 2-component dimethacrylate - based material that meets the essential physicochemical and biological properties required for a root canal sealer according to pameijer and zmener .
when retreatment is indicated it can easily be removed along with gutta - percha by mechanical instrumentation .
an overall success rate of 91% was reported . in a second follow - up study performed 5 years after initial therapy , 120 patients out of 180 were available for follow - up evaluation and an overall success rate of 90% was reported . a third follow - up evaluation also by zmener and pameijer of the same patient pool generated 112 patients that were available for examination .
after 8 years the overall success rate was 86.5% . as the outcome of the root canal treatment varies over time ,
the purpose of this retrospective follow - up study was to assess tooth retention based on the success / failure rate of the same patient pool 10 years after root canal treatment .
the protocol for this study was revised and approved by the ethics committee for human research of the argentine dental society # 2012 - 235 . of
the original patient pool attended during 20012002 , 89 patients ( 46.07% male and 53.93% female with an age range of 1275 years ) with 175 root canals were available for a 10-year follow - up examination during which they were clinically and radiographically evaluated .
although some of these patients had required further endodontic therapy , only the original treatment of years 2001 - 2002 was included for evaluation in this study .
subjects were contacted by mail , telephone , or e - mail and invited for a follow - up clinical and radiographic examination twenty - three ( 25.84% ) patients did not respond to the recall request . during the initial treatment preoperative radiographs were made , and the status of pulp and periradicular areas was recorded .
all treatment had been completed in a single visit by one operator following a precisely defined operative protocol as described by zmener and pameijer . briefly , after an informed consent form was signed by the patient , local anesthesia was administered , a dental dam was placed , and the pulp chamber was accessed .
the canals were hand instrumented with a crown - down technique for radicular access combined with a step - back technique for apical preparation .
the coronal two - thirds were first flared with # 13 gates glidden drills ( dentsply maillefer , ballaigues , switzerland ) , and the working length was established with a # 15 file , approximately 1 mm short of the radiographic apex .
canal preparation was made with k - type and hedstrm files ( dentsply maillefer ) at the apical third to a master apical # 3040 file and coronally to a # 60 file .
on occasions , the instrumentation sequence was modified due to difficulty in negotiating root canals with complex anatomy .
irrigation was performed after every change of instrument using 2.0 ml of 2.5% sodium hypochlorite ( naocl ) followed by rinsing with 2.0 ml of sterile saline .
excess irrigation solution was removed with sterile paper points ; however , the canal walls were kept slightly moist to take maximum advantage of the hydrophilic properties of the resin sealer .
the canals were then filled with the endorez sealer delivered through a 30-gauge needle tip ( navitip , ultradent products inc . ) , followed by lateral compaction of gutta - percha cones .
the access cavities were temporized with irm ( dentsply caulk , milford , de , usa ) , and the patients were instructed to see their referring dentist for definitive restorative care . during the follow - up evaluation ,
immediate postoperative and recall radiographs were made using the parallel technique and a sirona heliodent unit ( sirona dental systems , gmbh , bensheim , germany ) with a film holder attached to beam - guiding xcp holder ( rinn corp , elgin , il , usa ) and kodak 32 43 mm ultraspeed films ( eastman kodak company , rochester , ny , usa ) .
the immediately and 10-year postoperative radiographs were compared in a darkened room using an illuminated x - ray viewer with a magnifying glass .
the radiographs were analyzed by two independent calibrated observers , an endodontist with more than 25 years of clinical experience and an experienced radiologist .
calibration was carried out by having the evaluators analyze twice a standard set of 110 individual pairs of postoperative and recall radiographs of endodontic treatments not included in the study that were randomly selected from the files of two private and one postgraduate endodontic service . to meet the inclusion criteria , the radiographs had to be of high quality and had to clearly exhibit periapical tissues , widened periodontal space , loss of cortical bone , changes in trabecular patterns , or easily discernible periapical radiolucencies .
when necessary , additional radiographs were made at different horizontal angulations to improve visualization thus improving the reliability of the evaluation .
the parameters recorded were number of treated teeth , gender , presence or absence of coronal restoration , periapical radiolucencies , and quality of endodontic treatment .
the level of the root canal fillings in relation to the working length was recorded and the quality of the root canal fillings was judged to be adequate when they were placed to the full working length , and no voids were detected while special attention was focused on the last 5 mm of the root canal .
canals that did not meet these conditions were categorized as filled short ( > 2 mm from the apex ) , flush or beyond the radiographic apex .
failure of one canal in multirooted teeth was considered a complete failure . in cases with apical radiolucencies , the size of the lesions
success or failure of the endodontic treatment was determined on the basis of radiographic findings and clinical signs and symptoms according to the criteria listed in table 1 . in cases in which radiographic analysis of periapical status was difficult ( questionable cases ) ,
teeth were subjected to a limited - volume cone - beam - computed tomography ( cbct ) ( 3d accuitomo 80 , j morita corporation , kioto , japan ) . for this purpose
the observers were previously calibrated by discussing twice 25 cbct scans ( obtained from a radiology institute ) that had normal or abnormal periapical findings . if there was a disagreement between the evaluators the x - rays and the cbct images
data was statistically analyzed with graphpad instat version 3.05 for windows 95 ( graphpad software , san diego ca , usa ) . the clinical , radiographic , and cbct data recorded by the two examiners were analyzed for interexaminer agreement .
the correlation of treatment outcomes with respect to age , gender , and specific preoperative and postoperative data were analyzed by the fisher exact test ( p < 0.05 ) . taking into consideration , the total number of patients that did not respond to the previous 1424-month , 5 and 8-year recalls ( censored data ) [ 10 , 11 ] , a life table survival analysis was used to determine the cumulative probability of success of the 10-year recall .
the examiner calibration showed an interexaminer agreement ratio of 93% revealing a strong interobserver agreement .
the recall rate after 10 years ( 180 patients were originally enrolled ) was 49.44% .
the data collected from the 89 patients were tabulated and the tooth location was noted .
distribution by significant preoperative and postoperative factors related to treatment results is shown in tables 4 and 5 , respectively .
after 10 years , 78 teeth ( 87.64% ) were evaluated as adequately filled to the working length . in 5 cases ( 5.61% ) the apical limit of the root filling material was found to be short of the working length .
four ( 4.49% ) of these , which were filled flush at the time of endodontic treatment , underwent resorption of the sealer within the lumen of the canals .
these cases showed that the end of the root fill was located at 1.0 mm from the radiographic apex .
two cases ( 2.24% ) , in which extrusion of the sealer was radiographically established immediately after treatment , showed no radiographic evidence of the sealer in the periradicular tissues .
forty - two teeth ( 47.19% ) with preoperative vital pulps were successful in 38 cases while 47 ( 52.80% ) showing preoperative nonvital pulps were successful in 44 cases . of these cases , five were initially classified as doubtful in which a slight widening of the pdl space was noted .
a radiograph of a representative case as well as the cbct images shows normal bone tissues with the presence of well - defined , thick cortical bone . as such ,
this was considered to be a periapical scar and evaluated as successful ( figure 1 ) .
the remaining three cases showed a wide periapical radiolucent area , which was not present at the time of the treatment .
thirty - nine teeth ( 43.82% ) showing preoperative periapical radiolucencies revealed almost total or total healing in 36 cases ( figures 2 and 3 ) , while three presented with some discomfort and showed persistent radiolucencies .
the differences in the outcome of treatments related to age , gender , preoperative pulp or periapical status , the size of periapical lesions , and the type of permanent restorations were not statistically significant ( p > 0.05 ) .
the life table analysis revealed a cumulative probability of success of 92.13% at the 10-year recall with a 95% confidence interval of 83.094.0 .
this retrospective 10-year clinical and radiographical cohort study performed on the same population as in previous reports [ 911 ] demonstrated a stable outcome of treatment as defined per parameters outlined by rstavik . using a method evaluating consenting patients and following a predetermined clinical and radiographic protocol is considered a reliable method when evaluating the outcome of endodontic treatment [ 13 , 19 , 20 ] .
these evaluation criteria are currently being used by clinicians and are supported by two recent histological investigations [ 12 , 13 ] that demonstrated a good correlation between radiographic success and the histological status of the periapical tissues in humans .
reasons for declining the recall were lack of interest or time , pregnancy , other general diseases , death , or they had moved elsewhere in the country . of these 23 patients , three who had the tooth in question extracted because of a root fracture and therefore a recall was a moot issue .
all three teeth had a cast post and core and were restored with a crown .
the recall rate of 49.44% after 10 years was somewhat below the recall limits established for subject size in clinical trials as reported by franco et al . but still met the required standards for evidence levels .
it was also comparable to previously reported endodontic follow - up studies [ 5 , 6 , 15 , 2123 ] and is in agreement with rstavik in that the recall rates in follow - up studies are substantially reduced as the recall period increases .
the influence of the recall rates on the results of the current study deserves some discussion .
when a patient does not respond to a recall there is always the possibility that one is dealing with a root canal treatment failure and therefore , the data that was generated may not be totally representative of the actual results . it should be noted , however , that the results of endodontic treatments in patients who did not return for followup ( censored data ) are not considered representative of a particular treatment result category .
however , the 23 patients that were not evaluated at this recall were seen at the 8-year follow - up evaluation and categorized as clinically and radiographically successful .
data related to the type and location of teeth was pooled because it has been shown that these factors do not skew the outcome of endodontic treatment [ 10 , 11 , 19 ] .
factors such as gender and age did not negatively affect the results of the study .
these observations are in agreement with our previous findings and with those of earlier studies by selden and kerekes and tronstad .
furthermore , no significant differences were found between teeth with vital and nonvital pulps as has been previously reported [ 4 , 19 ] .
the presence of a preoperative apical radiolucency did not appear to adversely affect the outcome of endodontic treatment .
this observation is in support of our previous findings [ 911 ] , but contradicts earlier studies by grossman et al . and others [ 26 , 27 ] , who found significantly lower success rates in teeth presenting with infected root canals and preexisting periapical pathosis .
however , our results are in agreement with sjgren et al . and peak et al . who showed that the prognosis of teeth with nonvital pulps and preexisting periapical radiolucent areas was as good as that for vital teeth
we can only hypothesize that factors such as early coronal flaring complemented by careful instrumentation with an incremental removal of the bulk of infected root dentine , allowed for a more effective penetration of irrigants , as well as the previously reported tight seal provided by er may have contributed to a more favorable condition for periapical healing . at the initiation of the study accidental extrusion of er
however , extrusion of the sealer did not show to cause an adverse effect on the outcome of treatments .
this observation contradicts the opinion of seltzer et al . , zmener , and seltzer , who stated that extrusion of a root filling material may interfere with the repair process .
after 10 years , however , these cases appeared radiographically normal without evidence of sealer in the periapical tissues .
these findings suggest that the lack of adverse effects from the extruded er can be attributed to good tissue compatibility of the sealer , as has been demonstrated in animal studies [ 30 , 32 , 33 ] . in the current study ,
our results tend to support previous evidence that the single - visit endodontic therapy constitutes a reliable procedure [ 3437 ] even in cases with infected root canals and preexisting periradicular pathosis .
more recent evidence was provided by molander et al . and a cochrane systematic review and demonstrated that the outcome of treatment was not significantly influenced whether root canal therapy was performed in a single visit or multiple visits . in this study
the clinical and radiographic examination suggested the presence of an apical scar surrounded by thick cortical bone .
a subsequent cbct of these cases confirmed the radiographic findings . according to cotton et al .
however , patel suggested that the cbct should only be used in situations where the results obtained from conventional radiographs do not allow for a definitive diagnosis . while the cbct has a lower amount of radiation it is still a source of ionizing radiation to patients .
regardless the methods of observation , clinical observation and interpretation will always be a matter of individual interpretation without reaching complete agreement between individuals . in that respect the interexaminer agreement of 93% in this study is quite acceptable . in the current study ,
49.43% of the recalled patients presented with a post in one or two root canals had a success rate of 44.94% , while 50.56% presented with single metal / ceramic , amalgam , and resin composite or glass ionomer coronal fillings with a success rate of 47.19% . at recall
these results are in agreement with previous studies [ 6 , 19 ] in which it was reported that the type of coronal restoration ( single coronal restoration , presence , or absence of a post in the canal ) did not significantly affect the outcome of endodontic treatment .
within the limitations of this clinical and radiographic study the results suggest that er used in conjunction with gutta - percha constitutes an acceptable root canal filling procedure .
patients recalled after 10 years reported being comfortable and the treated teeth continued to be functional .
the sealer appeared to be well tolerated by periapical tissues even in cases of accidental extrusion beyond the apical foramen .
furthermore , the success rate was comparable to what has been reported in the literature for different sealers . | pubmed |
Vacuum Manifold of an $SU(2)$ Theory
I am reading Coleman's book "Aspects of Symmetry", specifically chapter 6 "Classical Lumps and their Quantum Descendants". He gives an Example 5 p. 209 for the topological solutions for an $SU(2)$ theory, I copy the complete example below. He considers a theory of $SU(2)$ gauge fields and scalar fields.
>
> "The [gauge] group is $SU(2)$, and the scalar fields transform like a complex isospinor, $K$. The zeros of $U$ [the potential] are all fields such that $\bar{K}K$ is some positive number, $a^2$. (This is the Weinberg-Salam model, without leptons and without the $U(1)$ gauge field.)
>
> If we write the two-component complex $K$ field in terms of four real fields, we see that $G/H$ [the vacuum manifold] is a hypersphere, $S^3$. All mappings from $S^2$ to $S^3$ are homotopic to the trivial mapping, [...] Thus there are no non-trivial topological conservation laws."
>
>
>
I *think* I understand this, but there are some nagging doubts in my mind. The gauge group is $G=SU(2)$. Now we want $H$, the group that leaves vacua invariant. I think that this is just the identity element. My reasoning is as follows: $SU(2)$ is the group of rotations of two component complex vectors. There is no element except the identity that can leave such a vector invariant, since the only such rotation there could be would be a rotation about the axis of the vector, which would require rotating into a higher dimesion than $SU(2)$ can access (I imagine the usual two-dimensional vector arrows in a plane, we cannot rotate around the axis of such a vector without including three dimesnional rotations, hence for $SO(2)$ we have a similar situation). This reasoning seems shaky to me at best. First, the vectors we act on with $SU(2)$ are complex, not real, so my imagining them as simple arrows in a plane seems simplisitc. Second, $SU(2)$ is a double cover of $SO(3)$ which certainly has elements apart from the identity that leave vectors invariant, they are the elements that rotate around the axis of the vector. *If* $H$ is just the identity, then we have the required $G/H=SU(2)/\{I\}\cong SU(2)\cong S^3$ as required.
Furthermore, in the next example he states that if the gauge group $G$ is any compact connected Lie group, and $H$ is any discrete subgroup, all mappings of a sphere into $G/H$ are homotopic to the trivial mapping (if anyone can direct me to a proof of this as well that would be fantastic) and states that the previous example (the one I copied above) is a specific case of this. The point I take away from this is that $H$ must be a discrete subgroup, which of course ${I}$ by itself is.
A general element in $SU(2)$ is $ \begin{pmatrix} a & b \\ -b^\* & a^\* \end{pmatrix} $ it will act on a spinor $ \begin{pmatrix} c \\ d \end{pmatrix} $. I want to see what can stabilize this spinor so the following equation must be true $$ ac + bd = c \\ -b^\*c + a^\*d = d $$. This at the very least implies $ bd =0 $ and $ -b^\*c =0$ Also we must have $ a = a^\* =1 $ . Now we can surely stabilize the spinor if $ b=0$ giving us the identity element. Suppose we assume $ b \neq 0 $. Then this means c an d must be zero giving us the zero vector. If we exclude the zero vector then the isotropy group of a general spinor has to consist of just the identity element.
| stackexchange/physics |
cardiovascular disease ( cvd ) remains the leading cause of death and disability in the united states , accounting for approximately 1 of every 2.8 deaths recorded in the united states .
the tendency for the major cvd risk factors to occur in clusters informed considerable research interest leading to the description of metabolic syndrome ( mets ) .
the national cholesterol education program ( ncep ) adult treatment panel ( atp ) iii accepts the cooccurrence of abdominal obesity , atherogenic dyslipidemia , elevated blood pressure , insulin resistance with or without glucose intolerance , prothrombotic states , and proinflammatory states as mets .
although the precise pathophysiological mechanism of mets is unknown , there is ample evidence of the association of this syndrome with cvd and ckd .
ckd is the ninth leading cause of death in the united states with an estimated 19 million u.s .
the association of several components of mets with ckd [ 58 ] has engendered the perception of ckd as a long - term complication of mets . however , the establishment of hyperinsulinemia and glucose intolerance as the pathophysiological bases for insulin resistance in patients with renal disease along with the recent implication of the renin - angiotensin system in local pancreatic islet structure and function suggests a plausible common pathophysiological mechanism for mets and ckd [ 9 , 10 ] .
ckd is an established independent predictor of cvd mortality and a long - term complication of several of the individual components of mets .
however , the value of the diagnosis of mets as an independent predictor of cvd mortality is controversial [ 2 , 11 ] . a recent review of existing prospective data concludes that the cvd risk associated with the diagnosis of mets varies with the components employed in the diagnosis of the syndrome and that the diagnosis of mets itself only modestly predicts ( relative risk 1.651.93 ) cvd mortality [ 12 , 13 ] .
many of the components of mets are also established cvd risk factors and the clinical challenge has always been the establishment of the additional risk posed by the diagnosis of mets above and beyond the sum of the cvd risk factors employed in its diagnosis .
we hypothesize that the inclusion of indices of ckd in the diagnostic criteria for mets will refine its identity as a clinical entity and improve its predictive value for cvd mortality .
the purpose of our study is to explore the effect of including indices of ckd as defined by the national kidney foundation kidney disease outcomes quality initiative ( kdqi ) study in the diagnostic criteria for mets on the predictive value of the syndrome for cvd mortality in a nationally representative sample .
this study utilized data from a nationally representative sample of the civilian , noninstitutionalized us population collected by the centers for disease control and prevention during the third national health and nutrition examination surveys ( nhanes iii ) conducted at 89 survey locations between january 1 , 1988 , and december 31 , 1994 .
this survey utilized a complex multistage cluster design and over - sampled persons 60 years and older , non - hispanic black individuals , and mexican american individuals to enhance the precision of prevalence estimates in these groups . in - person interviews were conducted in sampled households , and all subjects
were invited to participate in medical examinations conducted at a nearby nhanes iii mobile examination center .
interviews consisted of demographic , socioeconomic , dietary , as well as health - related questions , and the mobile examination component consisted of medical and dental examinations , physiological measurements , and laboratory tests . the prevalence of common chronic conditions and associated risk factors was also determined during this survey .
details of the survey design and examination procedures have been previously published [ 15 , 16 ] .
the primary study outcome , cvd mortality was recorded from the nhanes iii mortality follow - up data .
this mortality follow - up data relied on a probabilistic match between nhanes iii and national death index ( national center for health statistics ( nchs ) 2006 ) death certificate records available for a total of 18,149 participants of the total 30,818 ( 59% ) adult participants ( those 17 years and older ) that completed the initial interviews and physical examination and laboratory assessment at a mobile examination center .
mortality assessments were conducted from the baseline interview in 19881994 through the end of the follow - up period in december 31 , 2000 .
cause specific mortality was coded using the international classification of diseases ninth revision ( icd-9 ) clinical modification for deaths occurring between 1988 and 1998 and the international classification of diseases tenth revision for deaths occurring between 1999 and 2000 .
we selected the total sample of individuals with mortality assessment during the follow - up period ( n = 18,149 ) .
of these we excluded participants who were pregnant and less than 35 years of age to get a total sample size of 13115 for analysis .
cvd mortality was the primary outcome variable of interest . using the nhanesiii icd-9 codes for deaths occurring between 1988 and 1998 and the icd-10 tenth revision for deaths occurring between 1999 and 2000 we created a dichotomous variable with categories for cvd mortality and no - cvd mortality .
we first defined the individual metabolic risk factors or conditions consistent with the national cholesterol education program ( ncep ) adult treatment panel iii ( atp iii ) classification among the sample : specifically ( a ) elevated waist circumference : men 40 inches ( 102 cm ) and women , 35 inches ( 88 cm ) , ( b ) elevated triglycerides : 150 mg / dl , ( c ) reduced hdl cholesterol : men 40 mg / dl or women 50 mg / dl , ( d ) elevated blood pressure : 130/85 mm hg , ( e ) elevated fasting glucose : 110 mg / dl , ( f ) prothrombotic state : fibrinogen > 350 mg / dl , and ( g ) proinflammatory state : c - reactive proteins : > 0.5 mg / dl .
then we identified study participants meeting a minimum of three of these criteria and classified them as having mets .
we also created a trichotomous ckd variable using the kdqi study classification for stages of ckd .
individuals in stages 35 ( egfr of 059 ml / min/1.73 m ) were classified as having late ckd ; individuals in the stages 1 and 2 ( egfr of 6089 ml / min/1.73 m or egfr of > 90 ml / min/1.73 m with proteinuria ) were classified as having early ckd .
finally we created a dummy variable with six categories for all the possible permutations of renal dysfunction and mets from the two variables described earlier .
the categories were as follows : ( a ) no mets and no ckd , ( b ) no mets and early ckd , ( c ) no mets and late ckd , ( d ) mets and no ckd , ( e ) mets and early ckd , and ( f ) mets and late ckd .
covariates included factors demonstrated to be associated with cvd mortality and include socio - demographic , smoking status , history of cvd , and mortality follow - up duration . specifically , demographic factors included gender , age was categorized as < 65 years and 65 years of age , gender , race , ethnicity , and poverty / income ratio .
smoking status was categorized as never smoked , former smokers and current smokers . individuals with a self - reported history of physician diagnosis of stroke , myocardial
the time from baseline assessment , mortality assessment or death was included in the analysis to control for any temporal influences of time on the outcome of interest ( cvd mortality ) .
we explored the distribution of the variables among categories of cvd and no cvd mortality . using the cox proportional hazard model in multiple survival analysis regression tests and controlling for the influence of time to mortality assessment from baseline
we explored the univariate relationship between the predictor variables and cvd mortality ( including both censored and event categories ) . the time to event
was considered the time from the baseline laboratory measures and survey measurement to the time of mortality assessment or death of participants .
a final multivariable survival analysis model was then created using all the significant predictors of cvd mortality in the univariate models to examine the influence of mets and ckd on cvd mortality .
tests were conducted to rule out collinearity prior to running the final multivariable regression analysis model including all the covariates noted above .
all data analyses were conducted using sas ( version 8.0 ; sas institute inc , cary , nc ) and spss ( version 15.0 ) .
statistical hypotheses were tested using p < .05 as the level of statistical significance .
finally we also utilized the bayesian analysis technique using the waikato environment for knowledge analysis software ( weka 3.0 ) to test the predictive accuracy of a model including a cocustered mets and early ckd variable when compared to a model including separate mets and early ckd measures while adjusting for other predictors of cvd mortality identified in the univariate analysis .
the sociodemographic and clinical characteristics of the study sample are presented in table 1 . among the sample
about 9.5% of the sample had egfr levels below 60 ml / min/1.73 m and 43.9% had egfr between 60 and 89 ml / min/1.73 m or greater than 90 with some evidence of proteinuria .
the mean mortality follow - up period was about 97 months and cvd specific mortality among the sample was about 11.8% .
higher mortality rates were observed in individuals who were male ( 12.9% ) , aged greater than 65 years ( 25.3% ) , lived below the 100% federal poverty line ( 15.1% ) , had a history of cvd ( 33.0% ) , had egfr below 60 ml / min/1.73 m ( 33.7% ) or had late stage renal disease without cooccurring mets ( 38.1% ) closely followed by individuals with both late stage renal disease with cooccurring mets ( 31.0% ) .
univariate analysis using cox proportional hazard analysis demonstrated that individuals aged 65 years or older , male , who had a history of cvd , were white and lived below the 100% federal poverty income line were more likely to had significantly greater hazard of mortality ( table 3 ) . using the cocustered ckd and mets variables categories , the results demonstrated that in increasing order , early ckd without mets ( hr = 3.02 , ci = 2.453.72 ) , mets and early ckd ( hr = 4.14 , ci = 3.365.09 ) , mets and late ckd ( hr = 12.81 , ci = 10.2716.00 ) , and finally late ckd without mets ( hr = 15.39 , ci = 12.1619.48 ) all had a statistically significant higher mortality hazard when compared to no mets or ckd .
individuals with mets and no ckd did not demonstrate any statistically significant difference in hazard for cvd mortality when compared with individuals with no mets or ckd .
after adjusting for other potential predictors of mortality a cox proportional hazard model was developed to explore the relationship between cocustered ckd and mets with cvd mortality .
all measures reported previously in the univariate analysis model as being significantly associated with cvd mortality remained the same ( table 3 ) . using the cocustered ckd and mets variables categories , the results demonstrated that in the same increasing order as observed in the univariate analysis , early ckd without mets ( hr = 1.69 , ci = 1.372.10 ) , mets and early ckd ( hr = 1.80 , ci = 1.452.23 ) , mets and late ckd ( hr = 3.23 , ci = 2.563.70 ) , and finally late ckd without mets ( hr = 3.92 , ci = 3.065.03 ) all had a statistically significant higher mortality hazard when compared to no mets or ckd . individuals with mets and no ckd did not demonstrate any statistically significant difference in hazard for cvd mortality when compared with individuals with no mets or ckd .
figure 1 demonstrates the adjusted relative hazard for cvd mortality among the categories of cocustered ckd and mets variable .
figure 2 presents a bar chart displaying the adjusted relative hazard ratios for cvd mortality among the categories of cocustered ckd and mets variable .
the results of the bayesian analysis as shown in table 4 demonstrated that for cvd mortality a model with cocustering of early ckd and mets demonstrated higher predictive accuracy ( 72.0% versus 67.6% ) , area under the roc ( 0.74 versus 0.66 ) , and cohen 's kappa ( 0.38 versus 0.21 ) than that with mets alone .
the poor predictive value of the diagnosis of mets for cvd mortality has cast serious doubt on the existence of mets as a clinical entity distinct from its diagnostic components .
however , the clustering of metabolic abnormalities that led to the description of the syndrome is still apparent in clinical practice .
this clustering of metabolic abnormalities more often than would be predicted by chance alone was the basis for the description of the syndrome and the suggestion of a common etiology for its components .
the initial association of the syndrome with glucose intolerance and hyperinsulinemia led to the suggestion of insulin resistance as the probable common pathophysiological basis for the syndrome [ 2022 ] .
however , subsequent conflicting series of studies led the national cholesterol education program ( ncep ) adult treatment panel ( atp ) iii to conclude that the relationship between insulin resistance and mets is not well established . the emerging role of vitamin d as a modulator of both insulin resistance and the renin - angiotensin system and the recent implication of the renin - angiotensin system in local pancreatic islet structure and function suggest a broader base for a probable common etiology for mets than previously anticipated .
the traditional association of ckd with several components of mets may have led to the exclusion of ckd as a component of mets and misled the search effort for a common pathophysiological basis for the components of the syndrome .
it is in the light of this emerging body of evidence that we evaluate the effect of including early ckd in the diagnostic criteria for mets on its predictive value for cvd mortality using a nationally representative sample .
the preponderance of participants with early ckd in the analysis sample makes it suitable for the isolation of the influence of early ckd on the predictive value of mets for cvd mortality .
the association of ckd with cvd mortality in this study is consistent with the existing body of evidence and highlights the significance of ckd as an independent risk factor for cvd mortality . even in
the early stages ckd carries a significant risk for cvd mortality ( or 1.69 ; ci 1.372.10 ) ( table 3 ) . in the absence of early ckd
however , early ckd becomes more hazardous with a hazard ratio of 1.8 versus 1.69 for cvd mortality in the presence of mets ( figure 2 ) .
the greater hazard of early ckd in the presence of mets is associated with a slight but similar reduction in survival among the affected participants ( figure 1 ) .
the apparent lack of a significant association between mets and cvd mortality is consistent with the results of several previous studies but the increase in the hazard ratio for cvd mortality associated with early ckd in the presence of mets gives credence to a potential renal contribution to the pathogenesis and perhaps mortality of mets .
the primary purpose of this study was to explore the implication of including indices of early ckd in the diagnostic criteria of mets for the predictive value of the syndrome for cvd mortality .
the results of this study suggest a broader base for a common etiology for mets and support the finding of a potential renal contribution to the etiology of the syndrome .
the results of this study represent an analysis of a nationally representative sample of 13,115 participants with a mean mortality follow - up period of about 97 months and cvd specific mortality of 11.8% .
however , the mortality follow - up data employed in this study relied on a probabilistic match between nhanes iii and national death index ( national center for health statistics ( nchs ) 2006 ) death certificate records available and inaccurate matches for cvd specific mortality may potentially confound the study findings , particularly since a few studies suggest that appropriately identifying cvd - specific mortality may inadvertently result in misclassification of cause specific mortality .
also given the cross sectional nature of risk measures utilized in our study the impact of other confounding events post assessment may impact our finding and influence the attribution of cvd mortality to our study risk measures .
overall the study findings that early ckd may cocuster with mets to result in an increased mortality burden should inform more studies to explore the temporal relationship between the pathogenesis of ckd and mets . | pubmed |
bland - white - garland syndrome ( bwg ) , i.e. , abnormal origin of the left coronary artery from the pulmonary trunk , is a rare congenital defect that is at times difficult to diagnose .
its first symptom , appearing during the neonatal period or infancy , is the development of circulatory insufficiency in the course of ischemia or myocardial infarction , and the treatment of choice is prompt as possible surgical reconstruction of physiological ( two - vessel ) coronary blood supply [ 1 , 2 ] . due to
myocardial injury , the patients may require postoperative mechanical assistance of cardiac function , which is treated as a bridge to heart transplantation .
the aim of this study is to present the treatment of two infants with bwg , admitted with myocardial infarction and dilated cardiomyopathy , in whom , due to extreme circulatory insufficiency , left ventricular assistance with a berlin heart pump was applied postoperatively .
a 3-month - old girl ( weight : 4.3 kg ) was urgently admitted to the department with signs of heart failure .
electrocardiogram ( ecg ) showed signs of previous myocardial infarction , while x - ray examinations demonstrated an enlarged cardiac silhouette .
echocardiographic examination revealed bwg , a significantly enlarged spherical left ventricle with ejection fraction ( ef ) of 1020% , mitral valve regurgitation ( mvi ) + \++ , and atrial septal defect / patent foramen ovale ( asd / pfo ) ( probnp > 35 000 pg / ml ) .
the child was qualified for urgent surgical correction of the defect , but despite the correct implantation of the coronary artery , myocardial contractility did not improve . in view of this lack of improvement , a left ventricular assist device ( lvad ) in the form of a berlin heart pump ( 10 ml )
gradually , the patient s circulation stabilized . during 5 months of left ventricular assistance , stabilization of the international normalized ratio ( inr )
level during the administration of antithrombotic agents was not achieved due to problems with feeding the child and periodic infections .
on the 48 day of assistance , an intracranial hemorrhage occurred during an infection ( fig .
due to the need to reduce anticoagulation , the ventricle was replaced twice during the treatment because of thrombus formation .
on the 160 day of treatment , control examinations confirmed the existence of progressive atrophic cerebral changes ( fig .
2 ) . on the 174 day of treatment , in view of improved heart contractility and neurological contraindications for heart transplantation , the assist device was removed after a gradual reduction of the assistance parameters .
catecholamines were discontinued , and the child was extubated within the first week after the discontinuation of assistance .
the ejection fraction of the heart was 70% after the assistance was ended ( fig .
subsequently , the child was transferred to the maternal and child health center in katowice for further treatment and rehabilitation .
after the conclusion of treatment ( hiatus hernia surgery , percutaneous gastrostomy ) , the child was discharged ; she remains home and her circulation is fully functional , but her development is limited due to severe neurological injury .
image of intracranial bleeding in the first patient image of the first patient s brain before the end of left ventricular assistance image of the first patient s heart before and after lvad treatment a 3.5-month - old boy ( weight : 5.9 kg ) was admitted in severe condition : ecg indicated an infarction , and bwg was suspected .
echocardiography showed indirect signs of an abnormal origin of the left coronary artery from the pulmonary trunk ( left ventricular dilatation , ef 20% , massive mitral regurgitation , dilated right coronary artery ; the origin of the left coronary artery from the left coronary sinus was not visualized ) . on the 3 day of the patient s
stay , aortography was conducted : the left coronary artery was obscured by a shadow from the side of the right coronary artery and , subsequently , entered the pulmonary trunk .
the discontinuation of extracorporeal circulation was possible using adrenaline ( 0.3 g / kg / min ) , milrinon ( 0.7 g / kg / min ) , and inhaled nitric oxide ( ino ) ( 10 ppm ) , with the chest left open . during the first hours , the child remained stable ; however , on the 2 day , cardiac dysrhythmias appeared , causing circulatory decompensation .
later in the postoperative course , the chest was closed , and the catecholamine doses were gradually reduced . on the 6 postoperative day , the child was successfully extubated .
after 2 weeks of assistance , in view of improved myocardial contractility , the process of increasing the load on the left ventricle was started , and the lvad was removed on the 26 day of assistance .
echocardiography demonstrated normal left ventricular systolic function ( 50% ) and hemodynamically significant mitral insufficiency ( 2 degree ) .
after 56 days of hospitalization , the boy was discharged home with a recommendation to undergo rehabilitation . at present , the functioning of the patient s circulation is normal , as is the child s development .
a 3-month - old girl ( weight : 4.3 kg ) was urgently admitted to the department with signs of heart failure .
electrocardiogram ( ecg ) showed signs of previous myocardial infarction , while x - ray examinations demonstrated an enlarged cardiac silhouette .
echocardiographic examination revealed bwg , a significantly enlarged spherical left ventricle with ejection fraction ( ef ) of 1020% , mitral valve regurgitation ( mvi ) + \++ , and atrial septal defect / patent foramen ovale ( asd / pfo ) ( probnp > 35 000 pg / ml ) .
the child was qualified for urgent surgical correction of the defect , but despite the correct implantation of the coronary artery , myocardial contractility did not improve . in view of this lack of improvement , a left ventricular assist device ( lvad ) in the form of a berlin heart pump ( 10 ml )
gradually , the patient s circulation stabilized . during 5 months of left ventricular assistance , stabilization of the international normalized ratio ( inr )
level during the administration of antithrombotic agents was not achieved due to problems with feeding the child and periodic infections .
on the 48 day of assistance , an intracranial hemorrhage occurred during an infection ( fig .
due to the need to reduce anticoagulation , the ventricle was replaced twice during the treatment because of thrombus formation .
on the 160 day of treatment , control examinations confirmed the existence of progressive atrophic cerebral changes ( fig .
2 ) . on the 174 day of treatment , in view of improved heart contractility and neurological contraindications for heart transplantation , the assist device was removed after a gradual reduction of the assistance parameters .
catecholamines were discontinued , and the child was extubated within the first week after the discontinuation of assistance .
the ejection fraction of the heart was 70% after the assistance was ended ( fig .
subsequently , the child was transferred to the maternal and child health center in katowice for further treatment and rehabilitation .
after the conclusion of treatment ( hiatus hernia surgery , percutaneous gastrostomy ) , the child was discharged ; she remains home and her circulation is fully functional , but her development is limited due to severe neurological injury .
image of intracranial bleeding in the first patient image of the first patient s brain before the end of left ventricular assistance image of the first patient s heart before and after lvad treatment
a 3.5-month - old boy ( weight : 5.9 kg ) was admitted in severe condition : ecg indicated an infarction , and bwg was suspected .
echocardiography showed indirect signs of an abnormal origin of the left coronary artery from the pulmonary trunk ( left ventricular dilatation , ef 20% , massive mitral regurgitation , dilated right coronary artery ; the origin of the left coronary artery from the left coronary sinus was not visualized ) . on the 3 day of the patient s
stay , aortography was conducted : the left coronary artery was obscured by a shadow from the side of the right coronary artery and , subsequently , entered the pulmonary trunk .
the discontinuation of extracorporeal circulation was possible using adrenaline ( 0.3 g / kg / min ) , milrinon ( 0.7 g / kg / min ) , and inhaled nitric oxide ( ino ) ( 10 ppm ) , with the chest left open . during the first hours , the child remained stable ; however , on the 2 day , cardiac dysrhythmias appeared , causing circulatory decompensation .
later in the postoperative course , the chest was closed , and the catecholamine doses were gradually reduced . on the 6 postoperative day , the child was successfully extubated .
after 2 weeks of assistance , in view of improved myocardial contractility , the process of increasing the load on the left ventricle was started , and the lvad was removed on the 26 day of assistance .
echocardiography demonstrated normal left ventricular systolic function ( 50% ) and hemodynamically significant mitral insufficiency ( 2 degree ) .
after 56 days of hospitalization , the boy was discharged home with a recommendation to undergo rehabilitation . at present , the functioning of the patient s circulation is normal , as is the child s development .
ventricular assistance with the berlin heart lvad has enabled the survival of infants after bwg procedures performed during or after left ventricular infarction and during severe circulatory insufficiency .
this management is treated as a bridge for heart transplantation and also , lately , as short - term postoperative assistance .
conducting long - term assistance in children weighing < 10 kg is associated with 40% mortality , and bleeding complications are the most common cause of death . in the first of the described cases , the occurrence of an intracranial hemorrhage on the 48 day and the observed progressive cerebral atrophy precluded the child from being qualified for a heart transplant . disconnecting
the assist device in view of serious contraindications for further therapy is a difficult decision , and no precise management guidelines have yet been formulated . in this case , the decision was made after a medical consultation and many conversations with the parents .
after the assistance was discontinued , the functioning of the circulatory system proved to be satisfactory .
it was acknowledged that , due to the difficulties in stabilizing the inr values during therapy ( infections , feeding disorders ) , the treatment strategy in infants should be modified [ 6 , 7 ] . in the case of the second infant ,
the administration of oral coumarin - type drugs was abandoned completely ; the child was receiving heparin infusion and aspirin or clopidogrel , while activated clotting time ( act ) and activated partial thrombaplastin time ( aptt ) were checked every 6 hours in order to achieve the values of 150170 and > 80 seconds , respectively .
inflammatory , coagulation and biochemical parameters were monitored in order to detect any disorders or changes in the coagulation system ; the pump was monitored as well in order to detect the development of deposits or thrombi , especially during infection .
a new protocol was introduced , consisting in weekly assessments of cardiac contractility and attempts to reduce assistance in order to remove the lvad as quickly as possible .
these changes appear to have resulted in a more stable course of assistance in the second patient , who was ultimately discharged home in good general condition .
left ventricular assistance with the berlin heart pump in small infants can be treated not only as a bridge to a heart transplant , but also , considering the limited transplantation options in this age group , as a bridge to recovery . establishing an efficacious and stable dose of oral antithrombotic agents in patients so small is extremely challenging and may be associated with additional risk . | pubmed |
flight manuals or maintenance manuals is usually a challenge.
upon request. Making a web site would be too complicated and too heavy (more than 200GB of data ...).
simulator use) . I can't vouch for their accuracy or origin.
They mustn't be used for any real aeronautical use. | slim_pajama |
the following online material is available for this article : table s1 - primer sequences used to analyse bovine th and dbh genes . | pubmed |
disordered forms of silicon dioxide ( @xmath0 ) glasses play a key role in electronic device applications like semiconductor devices and optical fibers . amorphous silica has a structure consisting of a continuous random network of corner - sharing @xmath1 tetrahedra linked to a continuous three dimensional network @xcite . numerical simulations in the framework of classical molecular dynamics ( md ) has allowed in the past to clarify several issues connected with the structural properties of this material at the microscopic level .
basis of this approach are interaction potentials fitted to _
ab initio _ and experimental parameters .
density functional theory ( dft ) @xcite provides instead a description of both the electronic and ionic degrees of freedom and represents a powerful tool to study disordered systems .
indeed , this approach allows to improve the description of the structure and gives access to the electronic properties of amorphous @xmath0 ( @xmath2-@xmath0 ) @xcite .
car - parrinello molecular dynamics ( cpmd ) simulation allows to study dynamical properties of the system within dft@xcite . during the nuclear dynamics ,
the wavefunction remain sufficiently close to the born - oppenheimer surface allowing a faithful description of the electronic structure in most standard situation
. however , the treatment of the dynamics of disordered systems in an ab - inito way is extremely costly from a computational point of view .
this imposes restrictions to the size of the systems that can be studied and on the maximum lenght of the trajectory that can be calculated in a molecular dynamics simulation .
the lenght of the trajectory that can be obtained within the car - parrinello method ( cpmd ) @xcite is of the order of picoseconds . in order to overcome these limitations different simulation strategies
have been adopted in the past that combine the advantages of classical dynamics and the accuracy of an ab initio description . among these , the methodology exemplified in a paper by ginhoven et al .
@xcite has been validated in a very accurate way . through the comparison of several combinations of classical and density functional schemes ,
the authors show that small systems of @xmath2-@xmath0 ( under 100 atoms ) exibhit local structural characteristics that are similar to those of larger systems @xcite .
benoit et al .
@xcite use classical molecular dynamics for annealing small samples at very high temperatures ( above @xmath3 ) , quench the liquid up to a glassy transition , and then refine their analysis with a cpmd dynamics run followed by cpmd quenching to find a minimum energy structure
. however , the work of benoit et al . still leaves space for improvement . in this paper
we propose an enhanced protocol based on the same philosophy , but with a few important differences .
first of all we use an improved classical potential , suitable for high temperature phases .
subsequently , our cpmd quenching protocol , particularly suited for the amorphous samples of small size shows to be more efficient than the one used in the past . finally , we provide an interesting insight into the ring analysis by doing energetical considerations that should help to assess the validity of amorphous samples generated with this method .
this work shows how to efficently generate small systems that still well represent the properties of infinite sized samples .
the procedure described in this paper reduces the amount of cpu time required for the generation of @xmath2-@xmath0 by about a factor of five with respect to @xcite without compromising the final results .
the properties of these system models are in good agreement with fully ab initio model systems and with available experimental data .
our starting model was a slightly deformed cell of 72 atoms in the solid @xmath4-quartz phase .
we adopted periodic boundary conditions ( pbc ) in all directions in order to mimic the bulk behavior .
the pbc scheme allows to reduce finite size effects as well as surface effects and to get realistic properties with a small simulation cell .
the model of the amorphous phase @xmath2-@xmath0 was obtained by first melting the quartz cells and then quenching from the melt using classical molecular dynamics with step cooling from @xmath5 to @xmath6 k at a quenching rate of @xmath7 k / s ( see section iii ) .
we then relaxed the obtained configurations using the formalism of dft .
+ the classical md calculations were performed using the moldy package @xcite .
the long range electrostatic forces were treated using the ewald technique @xcite .
we classically modeled the interaction between atoms using the empirical potential introduced by van beest et al .
( bks ) @xcite which has been shown to properly describe the structural and dynamical properties of amorphous silica .
this potential is a two body interaction consisting of a coulomb term and a short range term cast in the usual buckingham form .
only two short range interactions are taken into account : the si - o interaction which describes the silica bond and the o - o non bonded interaction which causes the tetrahedal arrangement of oxygen atoms around the silicon atom . at short distances the bks potential diverges attractively limiting its use in molecular dynamics runs at high temperature ( in our case above 3700 k ) . in order to avoid this divergence at short distances
we add a repulsive term @xcite .
this modification is necessary to describe the high temperature liquid where ions of opposite charges would otherwise approach each other very closely and be trapped in the well of the coulomb potential .
the functional form of the potential adopted in the classical simulations is therefore : @xmath8 where the first three terms represent the standard bks potential and the last two terms the correction introduced to avoid the divergence at short distances .
the force field parameters for the bks potential are reported in table i. in table ii we report the coefficients of the correction terms applied and in fig .
1 ] we plot the original and the modified bks potential .
these additional terms do not change the physics of crystalline and amorphous phases .
@xmath9 + @xmath9 + @xmath9 + .[table:1 ] parameters of bks potential . [ cols="^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ]
among all the generated @xmath0 model systems we selected the model-4 which best satisfied our criteria for a detailed study .
this choice has been performed on the basis of the ring analysis of the previous section , but further analysis has to be performed to validate this finite size sample . the most natural way to further estimate the quality of the generated amorphous model systems is to analyze their structural characteristics such as bond lenghts and angle distributions , radial distribution functions , static structure factors and to compare them to available experimental data .
we evaluated all these properties for the system called model-4 . at @xmath10 k
we have calculated the time - averaged distributions of the intra - tetrahedral o - si - o and inter - tetrahedral si - o - si angles for the classical and quantum md simulations using the same starting configuration ( fig .
4 ] ) . the intra - tetrahedral angles o - si - o stay close to the experimental value of 109.4@xmath11 for both simulations : 109.3@xmath11 @xmath12 5 for the classical and 109.5@xmath11 @xmath12 7 for the cpmd .
the only difference between the classical and quantum simulation of the angle distibutions is a small shift of the mean value of the intra - tetrahedral si - o - si angle .
we estimated for this angle a mean value of 152@xmath11 @xmath12 11@xmath11 for the classical averaged configurations and 146@xmath11 @xmath12 6@xmath11 for the car - parrinello microcanonical run ( nve ) ( the experimental value being 140@xmath11 - 150@xmath11@xcite ) .
we noticed that this change in angle takes place during the first steps of the car - parrinello run corresponding to an extremely short sampling time ( @xmath13 0.07 ps ) .
+ we have then calculated the averaged pair correlation functions @xmath14 , where @xmath4 , @xmath15= si , o of the systems at @xmath10 k for the classical and car - parrinello runs ( fig .
3 ] ) . within the classical treatment we obtained an averaged distance of 1.61@xmath16 for si - o , 3.12@xmath16 for si - si , and 2.66@xmath16 for o - o , in very good agreement with the experimental data @xcite . for the car - parrinello treatment the averaged bond lenght si - o
is found to be 1.65@xmath16 , which is slightly ( 3@xmath17 ) larger than the experimental value ( 1.61@xmath16 ) , in agreement with a general tendency of the gga @xcite . using the same computational setup we found a similar overstimation in a preliminary test made on @xmath4-quartz .
for the other peaks we found 3.18@xmath16 for si - si and 2.68@xmath16 for the o - o bond lenght .
+ from this analysis we concluded that our classical systems were well equilibrated . from the pair correlation functions we computed the static structure factor for the car - parrinello run which can be compared with experiments @xcite . experimentally the static structure factor can be obtained from neutron diffraction . in the simulations one possibility is to compute the static structure factor @xmath18 by its relation to the pair correlation function @xmath19 : @xmath20 with @xmath21}{\bigg[\sum_{\alpha}c_{\alpha}b_{\alpha}\bigg]^{2 } } \label{matto}\end{aligned}\ ] ] the integral in eq.([sq ] ) has been evaluated by using the filon s method @xcite . in equation ( [ sq ] )
@xmath22 stands for the density . in eq .
( [ matto ] ) the @xmath14 are the pair correlation functions ( @xmath23 = si , o ) while @xmath24 and @xmath25 stand for the concentrations of the two species and @xmath26 and @xmath27 are their scattering lenghts . we chose @xmath26 and @xmath27 to be 4.149 fm for si and 5.803 fm for o @xcite .
the integration from 0 to @xmath28 is performed as a summation from zero to half of the box size .
the first sharp diffraction peak ( fsdp ) corresponds to 1.53@xmath29 which is in good agreement with the eperimental data ( 1.52@xmath29 ) @xcite .
the other peaks are at 2.8 , 5.19 , and 7.83@xmath29 , respectevely .
+ we finally studied the electronic density of states of the system .
we evaluated the kohn - sham density of states ( fig .
[ fig . 10 ] ) .
the density is in agreement with other dft calculations @xcite .
the calculated band gap is 5.7 ev and it is understimated ( experimental @xmath30 9 ev ) as usual in dft due to the discontinuity of derivatives of the exchange - correlation functional @xcite .
the dos of amorphous and crystalline @xmath0 are very similar , because the short range order is similar for both structures . for this reason we can identify the states at about -20 ev as oxygen @xmath31 states , the states from -10 ev to -4 ev as bonding states between silicon @xmath32 hybrids and oxygen @xmath33 orbitals and above -4 ev as oxygen @xmath33 nonbonding orbitals .
the lowest conduction band are states with antibonding character @xcite .
+ @xmath34 $ ] + @xmath9 + s(q ) at 0 k computed with cpmd ( upper graph ) , and experimental results from neutron diffraction of normal and densified vitreous @xmath0 ( from ref .
@xcite ) ( lower graph).,title="fig : " ] q ( @xmath35 + energy ( ev ) +
using classical molecular dynamics and the bks empirical potential we generated seven model systems of 72 atoms of @xmath2-@xmath0 at 300k .
we further optimized the classical equilibrated configurations with plane wave based density functional theory and gga approximation to the exchange correlation energy .
in particular within ab initio treatment we showed that both geometry optimization and car - parrinello annealing applied to our systems lead to the same final configurations but the cpu time required for the geometry optimization to reach convergence is one fifth of the time needed by a car - parrinello annealing .
the topology acquired by the amorphous silica model systems at the end of the classical quenching protocol did not change when treated in an ab initio way .
the structural properties of the amorphous glass , like angle distributions , pair correlation functions , static structure factor and electronic density of states have been accurately studied .
the properties of rings in model systems have been accurately analyzed by energetical considerations .
we found very similar results for both the description ( classical and car - parrinello ) and in good agreement with experimental data .
+ the generated model systems will be used to study defects , and in particular the mechanism for bond weakening and electron localization in @xmath0 .
two of the authors , m. farnesi camellone and j. reiner , would like to thank j. hutter , ari p. seitsonen , d.donadio for helpful discussions .
m. farnesi camellone thanks daniele passerone for carefull reading of the manuscript .
this work was supported by the swiss nanotechnology program top nano 21 ( cti no : tns - nm 6499.1 ) .
all the calculations were performed on ibm - sp4 at the swiss national computing center ( cscs ) . | arxiv |
diabetic macular edema ( dme ) , a complex disease of multifactorial origin , is the leading cause of blindness in the diabetic population . clinically significant macular edema , as defined by the early treatment diabetic retinopathy study ( etdrs ) , includes any one of the following lesions : retinal thickening at or within 500 microns from the center of the macular ; hard exudates at or within 500 microns from the center of the macular associated with thickening of the adjacent retina ; an area or areas of retinal thickening at least 1 disk area in size , at least part of which is within 1 disk diameter of the center of the macular .
the common pathway that results in dme is disruption of the blood - retinal barrier .
as macular edema ( me ) develops , blurring occurs in the middle or to the side of the central visual field .
dme is closely associated with the duration and type of diabetes a patient has and the degree of diabetic retinopathy that is present .
the wisconsin epidemiologic study of diabetic retinopathy ( wesdr ) reported the 25-year cumulative incidence of me to be 29% , with annualized incidences of me at 2.3% , 2.1% , 2.3% , and 0.9% in the first , second , third , and fourth follow - up periods of the study , respectively .
findings from the diabetes control and complications trial ( dcct ) study reported that 27% of type 1 diabetic patients developed dme within 9 years of diabetes onset . in a systematic review of epidemiology of diabetic retinopathy and macular edema ( me )
( 2004 ) found that a majority of the 359 articles included in the review were dominated by large studies like the wesdr , dcct , etdrs , and the united kingdom prospective diabetes study ( ukpds ) .
studies were highly heterogeneous in terms of subject selection with variable inclusion criteria relating not only to age , ethnicity , and comorbidity , but also to diabetic retinopathy status , assessment , and classification as well . observing inconsistencies between epidemiological studies and conflicting reports of prevalence and incidence of diabetic retinopathy and me in diabetic populations , the review stressed the importance of capturing and monitoring new epidemiological data to help to implement and assess effectiveness and impact of emerging therapies for diabetic retinopathy and its complications .
there is very limited understanding of the epidemiology and disease burden of dme and information on the current state of dme with visual impairment ( vi ) and treatment in patients with diabetes in canada .
this study examines the prevalence , demographics , and treatment characteristics of vi due to dme in a real - world canadian setting .
an observational , retrospective , noninterventional study was conducted using records from the southwestern ontario ( swo ) database a longitudinal population - based database of more than 170,000 patients in 53 family practice clinics in southwestern ontario , canada .
the study cohort was identified using the following inclusion criteria : patients with diabetes ( type 1 or type 2 ) and diagnosis of dme with visual impairment ( defined as best corrected visual acuity < 20/40 in snellen equivalent ) made by an ophthalmologist between january 1 , 2008 and december 31 , 2009 , or the latest data available in the database with complete data for three months and after the index date ( the date of the first diagnosis of dme during the study period until december 31 , 2009 ) ; subjects of 18 years and older .
patients with diabetes ( type 1 or type 2 ) and diagnosis of dme with visual impairment ( defined as best corrected visual acuity < 20/40 in snellen equivalent ) made by an ophthalmologist between january 1 , 2008 and december 31 , 2009 , or the latest data available in the database with complete data for three months and after the index date ( the date of the first diagnosis of dme during the study period until december 31 , 2009 ) ; subjects of 18 years and older .
exclusion criteria were as follows : patients without follow - up data to 1 year ; patients diagnosed with age - related macular degeneration ; patients diagnosed with a nondiabetes retinal vascular disease ( i.e. , retinal disease with a vascular origin including atherosclerosis or hypertension ) ; patients who were participating in an ophthalmological clinical trial during the study period ( if we have access to this information in the southwestern ontario database ) .
patients without follow - up data to 1 year ; patients diagnosed with age - related macular degeneration ; patients diagnosed with a nondiabetes retinal vascular disease ( i.e. , retinal disease with a vascular origin including atherosclerosis or hypertension ) ; patients who were participating in an ophthalmological clinical trial during the study period ( if we have access to this information in the southwestern ontario database ) .
data included in this study comprised patient characteristics and demographics , prevalence , cardiovascular comorbidity and events , and medication coverage .
visual acuity was performed by a trained ophthalmologist or optometrist . in order to compare characteristics and comorbidities of patients with dme to those of the general population ,
a control cohort was extracted by random selection of age- and gender - matched subjects > 18 years by clinic location .
initial extractions of control cohort , and the cohort of patients with diabetes and dme with vi , were accomplished utilizing international classification of disease codes ( icd9/icd10 ) , reviewing patient charts for text entries of symptoms that supported a diagnosis of diabetes and dme and concomitant comorbidity , and reviewing patient treatment records unique to dme with vi , including consultation notes and hospital discharge summaries .
data from 8,368 patients with type 1 or 2 diabetes and from 76,077 people comprising the control cohort were extracted for this analysis .
the swo database has recorded patient level data on the clinical diagnoses at each visit , symptoms corroborating the diagnoses , clinical data , prescribed treatments including lifestyle interventions and medications , physician visits , hospitalizations , and diagnostic / laboratory test results , allowing for the conduct of patient level analyses , since 2000 .
data from the 53 practices participating in the swo database cohort are routinely updated on a quarterly basis with immediate reconciliation at the point of care .
all practices included in the swo database are part of a family practice research network involved in various audit and clinical research activities .
practices have consented to centralized accrual of clinical data from the patient record ( uwo irb 09572 ) .
each patient 's ontario health insurance plan ( ohip ) number is assigned a unique patient identification number in the swo database . to protect the privacy of patient 's medical information , a 128-bit ssl certificate is installed on the production swo web server .
the industry standard data protection method ensures the security of data during transmission across the internet .
validation studies of the swo database confirming the quality and completeness of the recorded data show good agreement between estimates of the prevalence of cardiovascular risk factors obtained from the swo database and other published estimates [ 710 ] .
moreover , there is a correlation between the swo database and national data ( i.e. , ims , brogan pharmastat ) on the utilization of prescription medication ( personal communication , petrella ; kamino , ims ) .
all subjects meeting inclusion / exclusion criteria were analyzed to understand the demographics and treatment patterns of care . for treated patients , the treatment choices were characterized for each cell .
the treatment pattern was related to clinical characteristics of patients , including type of coverage . for continuous variables , the mean , standard deviation ,
for categorical variables , the number and percentage of each category within an assessment were calculated for nonmissing data .
please refer to table 1 for demographic data for both the control and dme cohorts .
one hundred sixteen ( 54% ) patients with vi due to dme ( defined as visual acuity < 20/40 ) were male , 99 ( 44% ) were female .
the mean age of patients with vi due to dme was 64 years old , compared to 63 years old for patients with dme .
the average age at diagnosis was 48 years old for patients with vi , compared to 52 years old for those with dme .
the average duration of diabetes among patients with vi was 21 years compared to those with dme at 19 years .
a smaller percentage of patients with vi due to dme were caucasian compared with control or those with dme ( 61% , p < .05 )
. a larger proportion of aboriginals were affected by vi compared to the control or patients with dme ( 22% , p < .05 )
. please refer to table 2 for disease characteristics data for both the control and dme cohorts .
more patients with dme were overweight ( bmi 2529.5 kg / m ) ( 19% , p < .05 ) , or obese ( bmi 30 kg / m ) ( 12% , p < .05 ) than control . more patients with dme had hypertension ( 66% , p < .05 ) , cardiovascular disease ( acute coronary syndrome , myocardial infarction , and congestive heart failure ) ( 25% overall , p <
a higher percentage of patients with dme had a family history of diabetes ( 10% , p < .05 ) , were smokers ( 21% , p < .05 ) , and had a history of impaired fasting glucose ( 12% ) , impaired glucose tolerance ( 12% , p < .05 ) , and higher blood glucose levels ( 7.3 1.3
having dme is not static as per consultant notes : visual impairment , recorded from consult note abstraction , could include several episodes per patient during the observation period . among diabetic patients ,
. please refer to table 4 for data on visual impairment in the control and dme cohorts .
patients with vi on average had the disease for a longer duration and had a higher mean blood glucose level ( hb1ac = 7.6 2.2 ) than those without vi . in patients with vi due to dme ,
. please refer to table 5 for treatment characteristics data for patients with vi due to dme .
one hundred fourteen ( 53% ) patients with vi were identified as having focal , and 101 ( 47% ) with diffuse edemas.the average time to first treatment was 27 18 days .
the mean lag time to second occurrence ( relapse ) was 59 96 days .
for both focal and diffuse edema , the most common treatment was laser monotherapy , used in 69% and 53% of cases , respectively . in patients with focal edema , anti - vegf
was used in 8% , and intravitreal triamcinolone acetonide ( ivta ) in 3% of laser combo treatments . in patients with diffuse edema , anti - vegf was used in 12% , and ivta in 15% of laser combo treatments .
anti - vegf alone was used in treatment of 18% of patients with focal edema , and 15% of patients with diffuse edema .
meanwhile , ivta was used to in 1% of patients with focal edema , and 3% of patients with diffuse edema .
public funding covered costs for 85% of persons with dme , 18% were paid for with private funds , and 1% from out - of - pocket resources .
the natural progression of dme leads to a significant vision loss within 2 years in half of individuals .
epidemiological data on visual impairment due to dme are sparse and vary widely across countries .
this was the first canadian study to assess the incidence and prevalence of visual impairment due to dme .
given that blood pressure levels and % of patients with hypertension were similar between those with and without dme , we do not believe that hypertension would contribute differently to outcomes in those with dme although this remains a possibility .
treatment timelines were taken from chart records and were not verified with patients , and adherence with treatment could not be captured .
furthermore , the validity of the diagnostic algorithms relies on the premise that the coding ophthalmologist accurately diagnosed the presence or absence of dme as well as the classification and treatment of focal and diffuse types of edema in patients with dme . although classification of macular edema into focal and diffuse types is a common practice , a critical review by browning et al .
( 2008 ) found little evidence that characteristics of macular edema described by the terms focal and diffuse are of clinical significance in that they do not adequately help to explain variation in visual acuity or response to treatment .
finally , difficulties in interpreting data contained in consultation notes , as well as data concerning number of episodes requiring consultation and treatment , may have resulted in some inconsistencies in data capture .
overall , however , unlike pharmaceutical administrative databases which use service diagnosis codes to correlate with prescription use , this database allows for a linkage to be made between prescribed medications and disease correlates .
as well , previously conducted validation studies of the swo database confirming the quality and completeness of the recorded data show good agreement between estimates of the prevalence of cardiovascular risk factors obtained from the swo database and other published estimates [ 710 ] .
moreover , there is a correlation between the swo database and national data ( i.e. , ims , brogan pharmastat ) on the utilization of prescription medication ( personal communication , petrella ; kamino , ims ) .
this study in a real - world setting among patients with diabetes provides insight into the prevalence , demographics , and treatment characteristics of visual impairment due to dme in a representative canadian cohort . as such
, it can help to inform evaluation of the current dme treatment patterns and help to populate budget impact models evaluating the impact of introducing new treatment on drug plan budgets in canada . | pubmed |
pinhole in projector screen
Consider a conventional slide projector projecting a properly focussed static image from a photographic slide onto a conventional screen, with a second screen placed a short distance behind that one. If there's a small hole in the front screen (that is, the one the slide's projected onto), what will show on the back screen? The full image? An expanded version (inverted or not) of the portion of the image over the hole? Something else?
**Edit:**
If anyone's interested, I did the experiment. I tried holes at several points on the screen, but got the same result in each case: the full image. Out of curiosity I also tried putting a hole in the second screen, and putting a third screen behind it. Once again I got a complete image, though it was very dim.
Only the light intended for that "pixel" hits the spot with the hole in it, so only that pixel's light will make it through the hole and produce a spot on the second screen. The spot will have the same amount of light and color as that "pixel". The size of the spot is proportional to the size of the objective lens times the ratio of distance between the screens to the distance from the first screen to the lens. For example, if the distance between the two screens is the same as the distance from the first screen to the projector, then the size of the spot will be the size of the lens.
| stackexchange/physics |
John Percival 3 April 1779 7 September 1862, known as Mad Jack Percival, was a celebrated officer in the United States Navy during the Quasi-War with France, the War of 1812, the campaign against West Indies pirates, and the MexicanAmerican War.
Biography
Early life
Born in West Barnstable, Massachusetts, Percival left his Cape Cod home at thirteen to work as a cabin boy on a Boston coaster. He moved to the merchant service, became a second mate, and while at Lisbon, he was impressed by the Royal Navy. First sent to under Lord Jervis, he soon received an assignment to a prize crew on a captured Spanish merchantman. Benefiting from lax discipline, Percival led an uprising and escaped to the American merchant ship Washington. Again impressment interrupted his homeward journeythis time by the Dutch Navy. Managing to escape a second time, once home, he decided to enter the U.S. Navy in 1799. Subsequently, he served in the Quasi-War with France as a master's mate and midshipman. He was discharged in the demobilization of 1801 and went back to the merchant service.
Percival married Maria Pinkerton of Trenton, New Jersey in 1809. The couple did not have children although they informally adopted a relative, Maria Weeks.
War of 1812
In 1809, he returned to the U.S. Navy as a sailing master, assigned to at the Norfolk Navy Yard. After a leave, he moved to the New York yard under Commodore Jacob Lewis. Placed in command of Gunboat No. 6, he engaged in several skirmishes with British forces plaguing American shipping. As a stratagem, Percival borrowed the fishing smack Yankee on the Fourth of July in 1813, using it to capture the unsuspecting , the tender of the 74-gun . Percival joined on 9 March 1814 and made three cruises during which the ship sloop captured nineteen merchantmen and two warships, and the East India Company armed brig , 12 percent of the total taken by the U.S. Navy during the war. For his gallantry in the capture of HMS Epervier, he was promoted to lieutenant and presented with a special sword by Congress, shown in the accompanying portrait from about 1860.
Mid-career
After the war, the Navy assigned Percival to the Boston Navy Yard. Within weeks, he reported for duty on . The captain's clerk, Charles J. Deblois, noted Lt. P. carries a taught hand, ... He goes by the name of Mad Jack. This is the earliest record of Percival's colorful nickname. Apparently tracing to his intense command style, the application of monikers to military and naval officers was common to the time. After a cruise to South America, he returned to serve as executive office at the Boston yard. In late 1823, he transferred to the frigate on the Pacific station under Commodore Isaac Hull. The two New Englanders were close associates and friends throughout their careers. Hull considered Percival the best sailor I ever saw!
In 1826, Hull put him in command of and directed him to the far reaches of the uncharted Pacific to track down the mutineers of the Nantucket whaleship . In the Mulgrave Islands, he recovered two innocent crewmen, the only survivors of the ill-fated whaler. The culprits behind the mutiny had killed one another or were dispatched by natives. Mad Jack returned by way of the Sandwich Islands Hawaii, the first American naval ship to visit the place. His stay proved controversial and provided fodder for writers over the years. American missionaries clashed with the naval officer who challenged their sway over the local civil authorities. Under growing pressure from visiting merchant and whaling crews, the authorities rescinded a missionary-advocated ban on young women swimming out to the visiting vessels. The missionaries blamed their loss of influence on Percival. Their forceful complaints to Washington compelled Percival to eventually ask for a court of inquiry to clear his name. The court absolved him of wrongdoing, while to this day, United States destroyer squadrons based at Pearl Harbor celebrate Mad Jack Percival Day each May 11, the date Dolphin left the islands in 1826.
Percival next commanded the U.S. schooner on an 18301831 cruise against the troublesome West Indian pirates. While on leave in 1832, the department notified him of his promotion to Master Commandant effective in March 1831. After, in 18341835, he had the U.S. sloop-of-war on the Brazil station. In 1836, once again, he took over as executive officer in Boston. While assigned this duty, Percival displayed his concern for the welfare of the common sailor. A group of seamen transferring from the Brooklyn yard to Boston were injured, four of them seriously, when their train derailed along the way. The four received a total settlement of $12,862. Percival volunteered to administer a trust set up in behalf of the men. He did so over several years with prudence and faithfulness, paying out every cent to the beneficiaries or their survivors. The extensive and detailed record of Percival's careful and honest handling of the matter can be found in his papers at the Massachusetts Historical Society. This relatively insignificant episode warrants this brief mention, because a careless writer, relying on insufficient research, wrongly charged that Percival absconded with the funds. From time to time, the misrepresentation is repeated.
In 1838, he received command of the second-class ship sloop and headed to the Mediterranean to again serve under Hull. A principal ancillary duty involved educating and training young midshipman. Percival undertook the task with zeal and passion. Prominent men and fellow officers with midshipmen sons commonly asked for their youngster to be placed under the stern tutelage of Mad Jack. The young men did not always appreciate it at the time, but many went on to notable careers. As one example, Gustavus V. Fox chafed under Percival's disciplined approach on the cruise, but went on to become Lincoln's assistant secretary of the navy. Others distinguished themselves in combat. John L. Worden, a Cyane midshipman, became an admiral and is remembered as a hero of the Battle of Hampton Roads. One of the most irksome midshipmen on the cruise, nonetheless, recognized an appreciated their skipper. Henry A. Wise summarized the almost universal feeling in the service when he noted: There is not a better sailor in the world than Cap. Percival or a man of better judgement in the qualities requisite for a Seaman. ... One would suppose from his impatient & passionate temper, that in case of danger he would lose all command of himself. On the contrary no one is cooler or more able to fulfill the duties of his station. To give the devil his dueI would rather trust my life to his charge in case of emergency at Sea than any other man in the United States Navy.
Percival left Cyane late in 1839 due to poor health. While waiting for an assignment, he received promotion to captain in September 1841, the highest U.S. Navy rank at the time.
Circumnavigation voyage
He began the most memorable chapter of his life in November 1843. The frigate presented a major concern to the department. In disrepair, the venerable old ship served as a mere receiving barracks ship at Norfolk. Naval Constructor Foster Rhodes figured it would cost $70,000 to fit her out for sea. But the department did not have the money. Acting Secretary David Henshaw, from Massachusetts, knew about Mad Jack's reputation for seamanship and frugality. He told Percival to take a look. Percival reported he could do the work for $10,000. Despite widespread doubts about Percival's findings, Henshaw gave him the task.
By mid-January 1844 Percival informed the secretary he unhesitatingly determined the ship ready for a two or even a three year cruise. And he was prepared to stake his life and reputation on his assessment. Accordingly, Henshaw told the captain to get his ship ready for sea. Percival found it necessary to sail to New York to complete his 447-man crew. Percival's orders directed him to carry the first U.S. ambassador to Brazil, proceed to the east coast of Africa and on to the China seas, making his best way back to the United States. He left New York at the end of May 1844. Before the voyage ended in Boston 495 days later, the ship sailed 52,370.5 miles, circumnavigating the globe for the only time in her illustrious career.
A number of members of the crew kept detailed journals of the cruise, and one officer even sketched entertaining watercolors of scenes and incidents along the way. Added to official correspondence, the result is a well-documented trip. One episode stands out above all others. In early May 1845, the ship anchored in Touron Bay, Cochin China now Vietnam. On the second day, Percival received a note from a French missionary, Bishop Dominique Lefevere, saying the local authorities had him under arrest and condemned him to death. Within an hour, Mad Jack led 80 well-armed men ashore. Percival left a letter for the king of Cochin China demanding the bishop's release. To make his point, he returned to the ship with three mandarins held as hostages. The next day, Percival pressed the issue by capturing three junks belonging to the king, and moved his warship closer to the local forts. On the following day, the prize junks attempted to escape, but were recovered after a brief skirmish. Percival, as well as the Cochin Chinese themselves, denied the gunplay resulted in any casualties. Nonetheless, a rumor of fatalities continued into the 20th century when the confrontation became known as the first armed intervention by a Western nation against present-day Vietnam. In any event, a short while later Lefevere gained his freedom and the French credited the American effort for saving his life. King Louis Philippe intended to reward officers and crew. But political turmoil interfered. Since the king took a hurried journey from his capital, ... no recognition of their services was ever received by the American tars. Their compensation went over the walls of the Tuileries gardens as Louis Philippe escaped to London.
Later life
After Constitution returned from her voyage in October 1845, Captain Percival went on leave and was placed on waiting orders status. In 1855, when Percival was 76 years old, the Navy Department placed him on the newly created Reserve List, a forerunner of the Retired List. Although Percival was alive during the first year of the American Civil War, he took no part in it.
In his last years, Percival gave silver cups to a few people close to him. One, given to the son of his attorney, offered a brief summary of his career. As well as anything, the inscription explains the man. Percival wrote: This Cup, with the Donor, has made three cruises to the Pacific, one to the Mediterranean, one to the , two to the West Indies, and once around the world, a distance of about 150,000 miles. Has been 37 years in service and has never refused duty. Some years ago, a private collector found the cup in a London flea market, and it was sold for $10,000 in a 2016 Cape Cod auction.
Often described as colorful, Mad Jack attracted the attention of famed authors such as Hawthorne, Melville, and Michener. Melville, in fact, patterned his fictional character Lieutenant Mad Jack after his acquaintance, Percival. In the end, Percival's legendary status is enhanced by the fact his first naval ship, HMS Victory and his last, USS Constitution, the oldest commissioned warship and the oldest commissioned warship afloat, remain national shrines for their respective nations.
Death
Captain Percival died at the age of 83 on 7 September 1862 in Dorchester, Massachusetts and is buried near his birthplace in West Barnstable's Ancient Cemetery.
Promotions
Cabin Boy c. 1793
2nd Mate in Merchant Service c. 1797
Impressed into Royal Navy 24 February 1797
Escapes from Royal Navy April 1797
Masters Mate, USN July 1799
Midshipman, USN 13 May 1800
Discharged from USN returns to merchant service July 1801
Sailing Master, USN 6 March 1809
Lieutenant, USN 9 December 1814
Master Commandant, USN 3 March 1831
Captain, USN 8 September 1841
Reserved List 13 September 1855
Died 17 September 1862
Source Mad Jack Percival. James H. Ellis. Naval Institute Press. 2002.
Namesakes
Two US Navy ships have been named USS Percival.
Percival Drive in West Barnstable, MA is in the neighborhood of his birthplace, the homestead long since torn down.
Percival Street on Meeting House Hill in Dorchester is named for him.
References
Category:1779 births
Category:1862 deaths
Category:United States Navy officers
Category:American military personnel of the Quasi-War
Category:American naval personnel of the War of 1812
Category:American military personnel of the MexicanAmerican War
Category:Commanders of the USS Constitution | wikipedia |
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omega centauri is the most massive star cluster of the milky way . unlike other galactic globular clusters ,
its stellar population is not coeval with significant spread in metallicity , age and kinematics ( see this proceeding ) .
it has long been proposed that it is the dense core left from a stripped - off dwarf satellite , which has fallen inside the milky way , and has dynamically decayed to its present position of about 6 kpc from the galactic center ( freeman 1993 ) .
the progenitor could have a dark halo , and could be similar to that of the sagittarius dwarf galaxy , which is known to have multiple stellar populations .
sgr also has a central massive cluster m54 , the 2nd most massive cluster in the milky way after omega cen . in
this scenarios the metals produced in the progenitor could be recycled due to a deep potential well of the dark matter halo of the progenitor
. the progenitor could be somewhere between a dwarf elliptical ( such as m32 , ngc205 ) or a dwarf spheroidal system ( such as draco , fornax , sagittarius ) .
the big mass of the progenitor helps to shrink the orbit by dynamical friction . while very attractive
, the above hypothesis can now be constrained by the recently measured small proper motion of omega cen ( dinescu et al .
1999 ) , which implies that it is on a retrograde eccentric orbit with a pericenter of 1 kpc , and apocenter of 6 kpc .
it is presently close to its apocenter .
the orbit is much more close - in than typical halo objects , a point which we will come to later on .
more interestingly , one can ask some more general questions .
what are the possible outcomes of tidal stripping of a dwarf satellite ? is this a general way to account for globular clusters ? how often is a system like omega cen produced ?
the answers to these questions will help us to test the validity of the theory of hierarchical merger formation of galaxies by comparing with observations globular clusters of the milky way . in this regard , it is interesting to note that the disk galaxy m31 also has its share of very massive star clusters .
for example , g1 ( or mayall ii ) is about 4 - 5 times the mass of omega cen , and also shows signs of non - coeval stellar populations ( rich et al .
1996 , meylan et al .
it is at a projected distance of about 40 kpc from the center of m31 .
a system ( ngc1023 - 13 ) almost identical to g1 is also found in the s0 galaxy ngc1023 , at about a projected distance of 40 kpc from the host galaxy ( larsen 2001 ) .
it has been argued that giant star clusters like g1 and ngc1023 - 13 are the transitional objects between a globular cluster and a dwarf galaxy ( meylan et al .
2001 ) . in this regard , it is interesting to ask whether omega cen could be a smaller , more advanced version of g1 and ngc1023 - 13 , which decayed closer to its host galaxy . here
we simulate the orbital decay histories of a dwarf satellite .
we argue that the progenitor of omega cen in the milky way _ can not _
be on the large orbits as the progenitors of g1 and ngc1023 - 13 in their host galaxies
. the progenitor of omega cen must be either on a surprisingly small orbit from the start , or has a surprisingly dense halo , which delays the stripping process and allows dynamical friction to progress for a hubble time .
in other words , tidal stripping of dwarf satellite galaxies typically produces systems like m54 , g1 and ngc1023 - 13 .
the progenitor of omega cen is not on `` typical '' orbits of known halo satellite systems .
we model the host galaxy by a simple singular isothermal ( sis ) potential ( r)=v_cir^2 r , where @xmath0 appropriate for the milky way and @xmath1 appropriate for m31 .
we call these two models sis200 and sis250 respectively
. more detailed models with disks are discussed later .
we model the progenitor as spherical with a broken power law profile where the mass increases with radius as m_s(r ) = 1 10 ^ 7 ( r 200 ) ^p , where the power @xmath2 or @xmath3 , and we make g1 the transitional object between a dwarf galaxy and a globular cluster ( meylan et al .
fig.1 shows the mass profiles roughtly reproduce the mass and size relations of m54 , omega cen and g1 .
the extrapolated mass profiles are somewhere between the nucleated dwarf ellipticals ( m32 and ngc205 ) and the more diffuse dwarf spheroidals ( draco and fornax ) .
we model the orbital decay of the satellite using chandrasekhar s dynamical friction formula = - gm_s v_s |v_s|^3 , where ( r ) = v^2_cir 4 g r^2 is the density of the dynamical matter in the host galaxy at radius r for our sis model ( eq .
1 ) , and the @xmath4 is some demensionless function of the speed @xmath5 , including the coulomb logarithm .
here we assumed an isotropic velocity distribution of the stars in the host galaxy with a fixed dispersion of @xmath6 for the milky way and @xmath7 for the m31 .
the assumption applies well in the halo , but not in the disk .
the outer region of a satellite will be stripped once it comes within the strong tidal field of the host galaxy . for simplicity , we assume a rigid mass radius relation for the satellite , hence the tidal radius and the total mass of the satellite are directly related by eq.(2 ) , and = potential at the radius @xmath8 ( eq .
fig.2 shows the decay of orbit of the hypothetical dwarf satellite from an initial apocenter radius of 50 kpc , the norminal distance for typical satellites .
note this is also the apocenter of the sagittarius dwarf and its central cluster m54 . other milky way satellites , e.g. , lmc , draco and fornax , are beyond 50 kpc . g1 and ngc1023 - 13 are also about 50 kpc from their host galaxies .
we have taken the dashed line in fig .
1 as our satellite model ( i.e. with @xmath2 ) , but the result is largely the same for the @xmath3 model .
we use the potential model sis200 for the milky way , but the conclusion does not change qualitatively when we use the sis250 potential model for m31 .
we launch the orbits with different angular momentum
. a very low angular momentum orbit ( fig.2a ) could reach the current position of omega cen at 6 kpc in one epicycle , but it bounces back to the original large orbit because the specific orbital energy has not decayed by very much in the brief period of one epicycle . and the satellite is immediately stripped into a globular cluster mass object at the peri - center , and this greatly slows down the orbital decay because @xmath9 .
the result is close to a system like g1 and ngc1023 - 13 , which spends most of its time relatively far from their host . on the other hand a high angular momentum orbit ( fig.2c )
can hover at large radius , and remain massive , but the dynamical decay is slow again because @xmath10 . even with intermediate angular momentum ( fig.2b ) the decay is very modest . in summary fig.2
shows that we fail to decay the orbit of massive satellite from 50 kpc ( the distance of g1 ) to a present apocenter of 6 kpc for omega cen .
what if we launch a satellite from 15 kpc just outside the edge of the milky way disk ? to model the orbit of such closer satellite , a more detailed model for the disk of the host galaxy is required . because the dynamical decay is enhanced by the high density of disk stars , and the tidal effect is enhanced by the disk shocking .
here we use realistic potential models for mw and for m31 as given in klypin , zhao , somerville ( 2001 ) . these consist of three components , an nfw halo , an exponential disk , and a bulge with a power - law nucleus .
we ensure that a flat rotation curve , and the disk and halo density at the solar neighbourhood are roughly produced .
fig.3 shows how such orbit could decay fairly efficiently , and after a full hubble time the final system is stripped off to a globular cluster - like object with an orbital apocenter between 6 - 8 kpc .
the result is close to the orbit of omega cen , but it would be somewhat larger given that we have only a fraction of a hubble time to decay the orbit .
the above simulations imply that the progenitor of omega cen might be born within the radius of the galactic disk , but on an inclined retrograding orbit .
any gas in the progenitor must have interacted strongly with the direct rotating galactic disk gas , and these interactions might have left imprints in the stellar populations of omega cen .
full exploration of the tide , ram pressure and the orbital parameter space is beyond this contribution to the proceeding .
we have explored orbital decay for a dwarf satellite in a range of galactic potentials .
our calculations show that it is relatively easy to strip off a dwarf galaxy to form a g1 like system on a large orbit .
but the progenitors of inner halo globular clusters can not be born at a distance of 50 kpc from its host galaxy . in particular
we show that there is not enough time to evolve a g1-like object , a transitional object between a globular cluster and a dwarf galaxy , from a radius of 50 kpc to produce a omega cen like objects with an orbit of apocenter of 6 kpc .
the progenitors must form relatively close to the milky way disk and merge in the central few kpc .
the resulting dense globular cluster would survive the merger and with only modest evolution from the original orbit of the progenitor .
the question of the formation of omega cen and its metal - rich stellar population remains open even if omega cen was formed in a dwarf galaxy near the edge of the disk .
could the metal rich gas survive the ram pressure stripping by the galactic disk gas ? we intend to continue the investigation of this conundrum in forthcoming works ( fall , gnedin , livio , meylan , pringle , zhao 2002 ) .
i thank ken freeman , oleg gnedin , mike irwin , george meylan , jim pringle , scott tremaine , floor van leeuwen for enlightening discussions during the omega centauri conference at ioa , and mike irwin for a careful reading of the draft . | arxiv |
in the previous issue of critical care , kmpers and colleagues demonstrated a direct correlation between increased peripheral blood levels of the vascular growth factor , angiopoietin ( angpt)-2 , and mortality in 43 critically ill adults with sepsis .
endothelial injury is one of the main hallmarks of sepsis , leading to capillary leak , microcirculatory dysfunction , organ failure , and eventual death in many critically ill patients . angpt-1 and angpt-2 are two of the best - characterized members of a family of endothelial - derived vascular growth factors necessary for both normal and pathologic angiogenesis and vasculogenesis . both angpt-1 and
angpt-2 appear to bind to the tyrosine kinase receptor , tie-2 , found primarily on the luminal surface of endothelial cells .
recent studies have also shown that the tie-2 receptor may be found on certain populations of peripheral blood monocytes , although the function and role of the tie-2 receptor in the host innate immune response remain relatively unexplored .
angpt-1 is a tie-2 agonist and promotes endothelial stabilization and quiescence , whereas angpt-2 is a tie-2 antagonist and promotes endothelial activation , destabilization , and inflammation . as such , the relative balance between angpt-2 and angpt-1 at the tie-2 receptor may be more relevant to the pathobiology of sepsis than the absolute levels of the individual growth factors .
several studies have demonstrated increased peripheral blood levels of angpt-2 in critically ill patients with sepsis [ 5,7 - 9 ] , multiple trauma , acute lung injury ( ali ) , and cardiopulmonary bypass when compared with healthy controls .
more importantly , increased angpt-2 levels appear to be associated with adverse outcomes [ 5,6,9 - 12 ] .
for example , the study of kmpers and colleagues showed that increased peripheral blood angpt-2 levels correlated with surrogate markers of tissue hypoxia , disease severity , and mortality in 43 critically ill adults with sepsis .
also of note , consistent with the opposing roles of angpt-2 and angpt-1 on the tie-2 receptor , peripheral blood levels of angpt-1 were significantly lower in the patients with sepsis compared with healthy controls .
unfortunately , in the study of kmpers and colleagues , similar to the aforementioned studies , the temporal kinetics of angpt-1 and angpt-2 were not assessed as blood samples were collected upon the first day of admission to the intensive care unit only .
angpt-2 is stored in the weibel - palade bodies within endothelial cells in a more or less prepackaged form .
it is therefore not surprising that angpt-2 levels are increased early in response to endothelial activation or injury . whether angpt-2 levels remain increased in critically ill patients with sepsis has not been directly addressed and is a question for future investigation .
it is certainly tempting to speculate that peripheral blood angpt-2 levels would be an ideal biomarker of early endothelial activation and injury .
similarly , whether angpt-1 levels remain decreased in critically ill patients who eventually succumb to their illness is an interesting question .
angpt-1 may be a biomarker of endothelial recovery ; however , given its purported anti - inflammatory role , angpt-1 would appear to be an attractive therapeutic target as well . to this end
, several studies have suggested that manipulating the ratio of angpt-2 to angpt-1 by augmenting angpt-1 levels may represent an ideal therapeutic strategy for patients with sepsis and ali .
important translational laboratory studies are necessary to show that increased angpt-2 levels in critically ill patients are more than just an epiphenomenon .
the role of angpt-2 in the pathobiology of sepsis and ali needs to be further elucidated by using in vitro cell - based studies and animal models of critical illness .
similarly , the presence of the tie-2 receptor on certain subpopulations of peripheral blood monocytes suggests a larger role for angpt-2 in the host innate immune response . finally , manipulation of the angpt / tie-2 system may be a rational therapeutic strategy for the management of critically ill patients with sepsis and ali .
all of these questions remain an active focus in several laboratories , including our own .
the authors ' research is funded by the national institutes of health ( bethesda , md , usa ) ( grant numbers 5ko8gm077432 and 1r03hd058246 ) . | pubmed |
What is the number of hydrate isomers of chromium(III) chloride hexahydrate?
Assuming $\ce{CoCl3·6H2O}$ is an octahedral complex, the answer should be *four* as there can be $0, 1, 2$ or $3$ $\ce{Cl-}$ ligands inside the coordination sphere. However, numerous sources say the number of isomers is *three* discarding the case with three $\ce{Cl-}$ ligands inside the coordination sphere.
Only [Loong's answer](https://chemistry.stackexchange.com/a/31521/24577) and another answer in a linked question say otherwise acknowledging the existence of the isomer with three $\ce{Cl-}$ ligands within the inner sphere. Every other place simply states that only three isomers have been experimentally discovered.
Also, in coordination isomerism too, in the case where both spheres become uncharged is ignored.
What is the reason?
Regarding the coordination isomerism question, the reason why it's not considered as an isomer in the case of two uncharged complexes, is that there is no ionic attraction. The two coordination spheres should act as individual ions and hence participate in the ionic sphere. But in this case, where the two spheres carry no charge, there isn't a force, namely the electrostatic force, which binds the two spheres.
Your question on CrCl3.6H2O is a very debatable topic and there hasnt been a unanimous decision that has been put forth by all the authors. Some say there are 3 or rather most of them say 3, only one author, JD Lee says that there are 4.
The reason given by the authors to support there claim of only 3 isomers is not very concrete, but it still majority of the authors believe that it is true. The H2O that exists outside the coordination sphere is the water of crystallization. The water of crystallization is believed to be present within the voids created by an anion and a cation. Now if the isomer [CrCl3(H2O)3] 3H2O should exist then it must have these voids. But here there isn't any anion in the ionic sphere, in fact it is believed that there isn't any ionic sphere. Therefore this isomer doesn't exist and hence cannot be the 4th isomer.
Now, it's also believed that the H2O is actually held to the central metal atom (Cr) with the help of dipole forces and that the voids are not needed. So that would mean that this exists and since it is theoretically an isomer, it should also be an isomer practically.
That brings us to to this very important question, what is the significance of the water in the ionic sphere? Now most books say that it's the water of crystallization of that compound. So if the water of crystallization must be present in the voids so that they can be removed by physical processes like heating, the 3H2O wont be an isomer anymore, but just another compound that exists with the same molecular formula.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
the study of the gromov - hausdorff convergence of riemannian manifolds has been a significant branch in differential geometry . in the study of convergence or collapsing of riemannian manifolds ,
one usually considers a curvature bound of riemannian manifolds .
our main concern is the study of the collapsing phenomena of riemannian manifolds under a uniform lower bound on the sectional curvature @xmath1 .
when the absolute value @xmath2 is uniformly bounded , cheeger , fukaya and gromov @xcite developed a general theory of collapsing , where the collapsing phenomena were described in terms of the generalized group actions by nilpotent groups , called @xmath3-structures .
it should be noted that these actions are not permitted to have fixed points .
now if we turn attention to the case when @xmath1 has only a uniform lower bound , we recognize several kinds of different collapsing phenomena in this new situation : * _ any _ effective action on a compact manifold by a compact connected lie group of positive dimension causes a collapsing under a lower curvature bound ( @xcite ) ; * there is a phenomenon of curvature - concentration , for instance in the convergence of surfaces to a singular surface with conical singularities , under a lower curvature bound .
thus the study of collapsing of riemannian manifolds under a lower curvature bound will enable us to understand a wider class of collapsing phenomena than the case of absolute bound on @xmath1 . in spite of several studies of collapsing or convergence under a lower sectional curvature bound ,
the general collapsing structure is still unclear . recently in @xcite , we have classified all the collapsing phenomena of @xmath4-manifolds under a lower curvature bound . in the present paper , we discuss and determine the collapsing of @xmath0-manifolds under a lower curvature bound . note that @xmath5 , @xmath6 , @xmath7 and arbitrary connected sum of them all admit nontrivial @xmath8-actions , and therefore can collapse under @xmath9 while no simply connected closed @xmath0-manifold can collapse under @xmath10 because of nonzero euler characteristics ( @xcite , @xcite ) .
for a given @xmath11 , let @xmath12 denote the family of closed orientable riemannian @xmath0-manifolds @xmath13 with a lower sectional curvature bound @xmath9 and an upper diameter bound @xmath14 . since @xmath12 is precompact(@xcite ) , it is quite natural to consider an infinite sequence @xmath15 in @xmath12 converging to a compact metric space @xmath16 with respect to the gromov - hausdorff distance .
now it is well - known that @xmath16 has the structure of alexandrov space with curvature @xmath17 and of dimension @xmath18 .
it is a quite important problem to reproduce the topology of @xmath15 for sufficiently large @xmath19 by using the information on the singularities of @xmath16 .
this enables us to understand the elements of a small neighborhood of @xmath16 in @xmath12 and therefore to describe the structure of @xmath12 itself because of the precompactness . in the case of @xmath20 or @xmath21 , we know some answers for this problem ( @xcite , @xcite ) . in this paper
, we discuss the cases of @xmath22 .
our results can be simply stated as follows : [ thm : general ] suppose @xmath22 .
then @xmath15 has a singular fibre structure over @xmath16 in a generalized sense .
here the fibre type is constant along each strata of a stratification of @xmath16 , but may change when the strata changes . in particular , @xmath15 is a fibre bundle over @xmath16 if @xmath16 has no _ essential singular points_. to state our results more precisely and more explicitly , let us describe the collapsing structure in each case of the dimension of @xmath16 .
we begin with the case of @xmath23 .
[ thm : dim3 ] suppose that @xmath15 collapses to a three - dimensional compact alexandrov space @xmath24 under @xmath9 .
then there exists a locally smooth , local @xmath8-action @xmath25 on @xmath15 such that the orbit space @xmath26 is homeomorphic to @xmath24 .
[ rem : dim3infom ] in theorem [ thm : dim3 ] , one can obtain the information on the slice representations of the isotropy groups at the fixed points or the exceptional orbits of @xmath25 from the information on the singularities of the corresponding singular points of @xmath16 as described below .
see theorems [ thm : patch ] and [ thm : patchwbdy ] for details : 1 .
we have a bijection @xmath27 of the fixed point set @xmath28 to the union of @xmath29 and a subset of @xmath30 , where @xmath30 , the set of _ extremal points _ of @xmath31 , denotes the set of points @xmath32 of @xmath31 whose spaces of directions , @xmath33 , have diameters @xmath34 .
the singular locus @xmath35 of @xmath25 is a quasigeodesic consisting of essential singular points of @xmath24 .
[ rem : dim3mfd ] in a course of the proof of theorem [ thm : dim3 ] , we prove that the limit space @xmath24 is a topological manifold ( proposition [ prop : topmfd ] ) . in @xcite ,
fintushel classified locally smooth @xmath8-actions on simply connected closed @xmath0-manifolds . applying this result to theorem [ thm : dim3 ]
, we obtain [ cor : sum ] under the hypothesis of theorem [ thm : dim3 ] , suppose that @xmath15 is simply connected .
then @xmath15 is homeomorphic to the connected sum @xmath36 where @xmath37 , @xmath38 and @xmath39 have a definite upper bound in terms of the number of the extremal points of @xmath31 and the number , say @xmath40 , of the connected components of @xmath41 @xmath42 actually @xmath15 is diffeomorphic to the connected sum ( see remark [ rem : conn - sum ] ) .
now we turn to the case of @xmath43 .
first we consider the case when @xmath44 has no boundary . by definition ,
a closed @xmath0-manifold is a seifert @xmath45-bundle over @xmath44 if there exists a surjective continuous map @xmath46 such that any point @xmath47 has a neighborhood @xmath48 admitting the following commutative diagram @xmath49 @xmath50 where @xmath51 denotes a free diagonal @xmath52-quotient ; the @xmath52-action is free on the @xmath45-factor and by rotation on the @xmath53-factor , @xmath32 corresponds to the @xmath52-fixed point of @xmath53 in the above diagram , and @xmath54 is a positive integer called the multiplicity of the torus fibre @xmath55 .
[ thm : dim2nobdy ] suppose that @xmath15 collapses to a two - dimensional compact alexandrov space @xmath44 without boundary under @xmath9 .
then @xmath15 is homeomorphic to either an @xmath56-bundle over @xmath44 or a seifert @xmath45-bundle over @xmath44 .
thus if the general fibre is a torus , @xmath15 may have singular torus - fibres ( multiple tori ) near essential singular points of @xmath44 , while in the sphere - fibre case , @xmath15 is just a sphere - bundle even if @xmath44 has serious singular points . it should be remarked that the multiplicity @xmath54 of a multiple torus near a essential singular point @xmath57 can be estimated as @xmath58 , where @xmath59 denotes the length of @xmath33 .
next we consider the case when the compact alexandrov surface @xmath44 has nonempty boundary . in this case
, we have a decomposition of @xmath15 into two parts : one is a part of @xmath15 near a compact domain of @xmath60 approximating @xmath60 which is either an @xmath56-bundle or a seifert @xmath45-bundle ( theorem [ thm : dim2nobdy ] ) .
the other is a part of @xmath15 near @xmath61 , on which we can define a singular fibre structure as indicated in the theorem below .
[ thm : dim2wbdy ] suppose that @xmath15 collapses to a two - dimensional compact alexandrov space @xmath44 with boundary under @xmath9 .
then @xmath15 is homeomorphic to a singular fibre space @xmath62 over @xmath44 . as a particular consequence of theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy ]
, there is a continuous surjective map @xmath63 such that @xmath64 restricted to @xmath60 is either an @xmath56-bundle or a seifert @xmath45-bundle and @xmath64 restricted to @xmath61 is a singular fibration whose fibres are ones of a point , @xmath8 , @xmath56 , the real projective plane @xmath65 and the klein bottle @xmath66 .
the fiber types of @xmath67 may change at extremal points @xmath68 .
( see theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - break ] for details ) .
finally we assume @xmath69 .
if @xmath16 is a circle , we can apply the fibration theorem ( @xcite ) to get a fibre bundle structure on @xmath15 over @xmath16 .
more precisely , [ thm : circle ] suppose that @xmath15 collapses to a circle under @xmath9 .
then @xmath15 fibers over @xmath8 with fibre finitely covered by @xmath70 , @xmath71 , a nilmanifold or a homotopy @xmath4-sphere .
thus the essential case here is the case when @xmath16 is isometric to a closed interval : [ thm : dim1 ] suppose that @xmath15 collapses to a one - dimensional closed interval under @xmath9
. then @xmath15 is homeomorphic to a gluing @xmath72 along their boundaries , where each of @xmath73 and @xmath74 is either a disk bundle over @xmath75-dimensional closed manifold @xmath76 with @xmath77 , or a gluing of two disk - bundles over @xmath78-dimensional closed manifolds @xmath79 , @xmath80 , with @xmath81 , where @xmath76 and @xmath79 have nonnegative euler numbers , and if @xmath82 , @xmath83 is one of the closed 3-manifolds appearing as the fibre types in theorem [ thm : circle ] .
therefore @xmath15 is a gluing of at least two and at most four disk - bundles . in the case
when @xmath16 is a point , rescaling metric of @xmath15 with the new diameter @xmath84 , we can reduce the problem to the cases of @xmath85 . as a conclusion of the results in this paper together with the stability theorem ( @xcite ) and the above remark , we have a description of the homeomorphism classes in @xmath12 as follows : for a given @xmath11 , there exist finitely many elements @xmath86 of @xmath12 , where @xmath87 , such that for any element @xmath88 of @xmath12 one of the following holds : 1 .
@xmath88 is homeomorphic to one of @xmath89 ; 2 .
@xmath88 is homeomorphic to a closed @xmath0-manifold as described in theorem [ thm : dim3 ] , [ thm : dim2nobdy ] , [ thm : dim2wbdy ] , [ thm : circle ] or [ thm : dim1 ] with a suitable compact alexandrov space @xmath16 of @xmath90 . in the proof of each result mentioned above ,
it is crucial to understand the topology of a small ( but of a fixed radius ) metric ball in a collapsed @xmath0-manifold which is very close to a singular point of the limit space . as the important first step , we establish the rescaling technique in dimension @xmath0 which makes it possible to pursue the topology of the metric ball . under the rescaling of metrics
, we obtain a new limit space , a complete noncompact alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature and with dimension larger than that of the original limit space .
this reduces the problem to the study of collapsing or convergence to a higher dimensional spaces ( with nonnegative curvature ) .
the second step is to analyze the new limit space in several aspects . among them , we especially need to establish the generalized soul theorem ( theorem [ thm : soul ] ) for @xmath0-dimensional complete open alexandrov spaces with nonnegative curvature . in the third step ,
we actually determine the structure of collapsing to the new limit space , and obtain the topology of the small metric ball using an inductive procedure . using this topological information
, we define a local fibre structure caused by collapsing . through some patching argument under the consideration of the singular point set of the limit space , we glue those locally defined fibre structures to obtain a globally defined fibre structure .
a similar strategy was used in @xcite .
however the present situation is more involved in several aspects like ; a generalization of the rescaling argument in @xcite ( our approach seems to be possible to generalize to the general dimensions ) , the complexity of the singular sets in the limit spaces , the generalized soul theorem , classification of the collapses to the complete noncompact nonnegatively curved spaces with dimension less than four . our results in this paper suggest a possibility of the study of collapse of general @xmath91-dimensional riemannian manifolds with a lower curvature bound by the following program : * assumption @xmath92 * we already know the fibre structure of closed @xmath91-manifolds collapsing to spaces of dimension @xmath93 , where the orbit types of the singular fibres can be determined or estimated in terms of the singularities of the corresponding singular points of the limit spaces ( this is always satisfied for @xmath94 )
. * purpose @xmath95 * we want to determine the structure of closed @xmath91-manifolds collapsing to @xmath96-dimensional spaces . to realize @xmath95 , in the first step , we obtain the topology of a small metric ball using the following procedure * a suitable rescaling of metrics ; * the ( metric ) classification of the complete noncompact spaces of dimension @xmath93 and with nonnegative curvature by means of the geometric invariants of them ( like souls , the dimensions of the ideal boundaries , the extremal point sets and the essential singular point sets ) ; * the classification of the phenomena of collapsing to the spaces in ( b ) using @xmath92 ; in the second step , we first define a fibre structure on the small metric ball , and then do a gluing process under the presence of the singular point set of the limit space and realize the purpose @xmath95 .
as stated above , this program has been carried out for @xmath97 in the present paper .
the organization of this paper is as follows : in section [ sec : cap ] , we provide some basic notions about alexandrov spaces with curvature bounded below and the gromov - hausdorff convergence .
we formulate a main result in this section , the fibration - capping theorem , which gives a fibre structure on a collapsed manifold in the case when the limit space has nonempty boundary .
the proof of this result is postponed to sections [ sec : cap - state]-[sec : cap - lip ] ( part[part : cap ] ) , where we actually prove an equivariant version of it . in section
[ sec : action ] , we prepare the basic results about @xmath8-actions on oriented @xmath0-manifolds ( @xcite ) providing the properties of singular loci and the equivariant classification of such actions in terms of weighted orbit data . we apply those results to obtain a topological classification of @xmath8-action on compact @xmath0-manifolds with certain simple orbit data in terms of @xmath53-bundles over @xmath56 .
this result is useful to classify the collapsing phenomena of @xmath0-manifolds to @xmath4-dimensional complete noncompact spaces with nonnegative curvature . in section [ sec : rescal ] , we establish a key result to obtain a topology of a small metric ball of a collapsed @xmath0-manifold close to a singular point of the limit space by generalizing a rescaling argument in @xcite .
this makes it possible to reduce the problem to the study of collapsing to higher dimensional limit spaces of nonnegative curvature .
the rescaling argument in section [ sec : rescal ] makes clear that the first step in the study of collapsing of @xmath0-manifolds should be the case when the limit space is of dimension three . in section [ sec : dim3alex ] , as a preliminary section , we establish two results about the properties of the essential singular point set of @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov spaces with curvature bounded below : one is a characterization of certain essential singular point set in terms of quasigeodesics , and the other is about the existence of a metric collar neighborhood . from section [ sec : dim3nobdyloc ] to section [ sec : dim3wbdy ] , we analyze the collapsing phenomena of orientable @xmath0-manifolds to @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov spaces . in section [ sec : dim3nobdyloc ] , we concentrate on finding the collapsing structure on a small metric ball in a collapsed @xmath0-manifold which is close to a small metric ball in the interior of the limit three - space . as the local collapsing structure , we construct an @xmath8-action on a small perturbation of the small metric ball extending the @xmath8-bundle structure on a regular part of the @xmath0-manifold . in section [ sec : dim3nobdyglob ] , we patch those locally defined @xmath8-actions to obtain a globally defined local @xmath8-action on a collapsed @xmath0-manifold . in section [ sec : dim3wbdy ] , we determine the structure of collapsing to a @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov space @xmath24 with boundary using the collar neighborhood theorem established in section [ sec : dim3alex ] and the capping theorem , a generalization of the fibration theorem .
we prove that a part of a collapsed @xmath0-manifold close to the boundary @xmath29 is a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath29 , compatible with the @xmath8-bundle structure near @xmath29 .
this provides a globally defined , local @xmath8-action on the @xmath0-manifold . before proceeding to the study of collapsing of @xmath0-manifolds to @xmath98-dimensional alexandrov spaces , in section [ sec : dim3positive ]
we classify all the phenomena of collapsing of pointed complete @xmath0-manifolds to a pointed complete noncompact @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov spaces with nonnegative curvature . using @xmath8-actions with the study of the singular locus
, we determine the topology of large metric balls in the @xmath0-manifolds centered at the reference points .
we prove that they are homeomorphic to either a disk - bundle or a gluing of two disk - bundles .
in sections [ sec : dim2nobdysph ] and [ sec : dim2nobdytor ] , we apply the classification result in section [ sec : dim3positive ] to obtain the topological information on a small metric ball in a @xmath0-manifold collapsed to @xmath98-dimensional space without boundary . considering the new limit space under the rescaling of metrics , we come to know what kinds of collapsing phenomena really occur near a singular fibre .
after those discussions together with the equivariant fibration theorem , we prove theorem [ thm : dim2nobdy ] putting the desired fibre structures . in section [ sec : dim2wbdy ] , we consider the case when the limit surface has nonempty boundary , and prove theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy ] . in section [ sec : dim2positive ]
, we classify all the phenomena of collapsing of pointed complete @xmath0-manifolds to a pointed complete noncompact @xmath98-dimensional alexandrov spaces with nonnegative curvature using theorems [ thm : dim2nobdy ] and [ thm : dim2wbdy ] .
theorem [ thm : dim1 ] is also proved there . in sections
[ sec : local][sec : soulii ] of part [ part : alex ] , we prove the generalized soul theorem in dimension @xmath0 , and in section [ sec : alexwbdy ] we classify all the @xmath4-dimensional complete nonnegatively curved alexandrov spaces with nonempty boundary . in sections [ sec :
cap - state][sec : cap - lip ] of part [ part : cap ] , we give the proof of the equivariant fibration - capping theorem .
the author would like to thank fuquan fang , kenji fukaya , karsten grove , yukio otsu and takashi shioya for discussions concerning this work .
this research was partially supported by institut des hautes tudes scientifiques and universidade federal do cear .
he is grateful for their hospitality and financial supports .
in this section , we present some results on alexandrov spaces with curvature bounded below and on the gromov - hausdorff convergence which will be used in the subsequent sections . *
1 . alexandrov spaces . *
we begin with some preliminary results on alexandrov spaces .
we refer to @xcite for the basic materials and the details on alexandrov spaces mentioned below .
let @xmath16 be a finite - dimensional complete alexandrov space with curvature bounded below , say @xmath99 .
for any two point @xmath100 and @xmath101 , let @xmath102 denote a minimal geodesic joining @xmath100 to @xmath101 .
for any geodesic triangle @xmath103 in @xmath16 with vertices @xmath104 and @xmath105 , if we denote by @xmath106 a _ comparison triangle _ in the @xmath107-plane @xmath108 , the simply connected complete surface with constant curvature @xmath107 , the natural map @xmath109 is non - expanding , where we assume that the perimeter of @xmath103 is less than @xmath110 if @xmath111 .
this property is called the _ alexandrov convexity_. the angle between the geodesics @xmath102 and @xmath112 in @xmath16
is denoted by @xmath113 , and the corresponding angle of @xmath106 by @xmath114 .
it holds that @xmath115 .
we denote by @xmath116 the space of directions at @xmath57 , and by @xmath117 the tangent cone at @xmath32 with vertex @xmath118 , the euclidean cone @xmath119 over @xmath33 .
it is known that @xmath33 ( resp .
@xmath120 ) is an alexandrov space with curvature @xmath121 ( resp @xmath122 ) .
more generally if @xmath123 is a compact alexandrov space with curvature @xmath121 , then the euclidean cone @xmath124 over @xmath123 is a complete alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature . for a compact set @xmath125 and @xmath126 ,
we denote by @xmath127 the closed set of @xmath33 consisting of all the directions of minimal geodesics from @xmath32 to @xmath128 .
let @xmath75 be the dimension of @xmath16 , and @xmath129 .
a system of @xmath75 pairs of points , @xmath130 is called an @xmath131-_strainer _ at @xmath57 if it satisfies @xmath132 for every @xmath133 . the number @xmath134 is called the _ length _ of the strainer .
let @xmath135 denote the set of @xmath131-strained points of @xmath16 .
note that every point in @xmath135 has a small neighborhood almost isometric to an open subset of @xmath136 for small @xmath137 , where the almost isometry is given by @xmath138 .
in particular , @xmath135 is a lipschitz @xmath75-manifold .
the set @xmath139 is called the _
@xmath137-singular set _ of @xmath16 .
a point @xmath32 of an alexandrov space @xmath16 is called an _ extremal _
point if @xmath140 .
this coincides with the case when an extremal subset in the sense of @xcite is a point .
the set of all extremal points of @xmath16 is denoted @xmath141 .
a point @xmath32 of @xmath16 is called an _ essential _ singular point if the radius of @xmath33 satisfies @xmath142 , and the set of all essential singular points of @xmath16 is denoted @xmath143 .
notice that if a point @xmath57 is not an essential singular point , then @xmath33 is homeomorphic to a sphere ( @xcite , @xcite ) , and a small metric ball around @xmath32 is homeomorphic to @xmath136 ( @xcite ) .
we also say that @xmath32 is a _ topological _ singular point if @xmath33 is not homeomorphic to a sphere .
if @xmath32 is not a topological singular point , then it is called topologically regular .
@xmath16 is called _ topologically regular _ if any point of @xmath16 is topologically regular .
it is well known ( cf.@xcite)that the double suspension @xmath144 of the poincare homology @xmath4-sphere @xmath145 is a topological sphere .
since @xmath144 carries a metric as an alexandrov space of curvature @xmath121 , one recognizes that a topological singular point of an alexandrov space can be a manifold point at least in dimension @xmath146 .
the non - collapsing limit of a sequence of @xmath91-manifolds with a uniform lower sectional curvature bound is called _
smoothable_. recently in @xcite , v. kapovitch has proved that a smoothable alexandrov space is topologically regular .
more precisely , [ prop : smoothable ] let @xmath147 be a smoothable alexandrov space .
then for any @xmath148 , @xmath149 , the iterated space of directions @xmath150 is a topological sphere .
we call a point @xmath151 of an alexandrov space @xmath147 _ topologically nice _ if it satisfies the conclusion of proposition [ prop : smoothable ] for any @xmath149 .
we also call @xmath147 _ topologically nice _ if any point of @xmath147 is topologically nice .
it is obvious that for @xmath152 , if @xmath147 is topologically regular , then it is topologically nice . when @xmath153 , @xmath154 is not topologically nice but topologically regular . *
2 . gromov - hausdorff convergence . * a ( not necessarily continuous ) map @xmath155 between metric spaces
is called an _ @xmath156-approximation _ if 1 .
@xmath157 for all @xmath158 , 2 .
@xmath159 is @xmath156-dense in @xmath160 .
the gromov - hausdorff distance @xmath161 between @xmath162 and @xmath160 is defined to be the infimum of such @xmath156 that there exist @xmath156-approximations @xmath163 and @xmath164
. the pointed gromov - hausdorff distance @xmath165 between pointed metric spaces @xmath166 and @xmath167 is defined as the infimum of such @xmath156 that there exist @xmath156-approximations @xmath168 and @xmath169 sending @xmath101 to @xmath105 and @xmath105 to @xmath101 respectively . in the study of collapsing of three - dimensional riemannian manifolds with a lower curvature bound , the so - called fibration theorem ( @xcite , etc . ) has played one of fundamental roles ( @xcite ) .
this theorem shows that if a complete riemannian manifold @xmath13 with a definite lower bound on sectional curvature is gromov - hausdorff close to a riemannian manifold @xmath16 of lower dimension without boundary ( or more generally an alexandrov space with only weak singularities ( @xcite ) ) , then @xmath13 fibers over @xmath16 with almost nonnegatively curved fibre .
we generalize this result by considering @xmath16 with nonempty boundary as follows : let @xmath16 be a @xmath75-dimensional complete alexandrov space with curvature @xmath17 .
now we assume that @xmath16 has nonempty boundary , and denote by @xmath170 the double of @xmath16 , which is also an alexandrov space with curvature @xmath17 ( see @xcite ) . by definition ,
@xmath171 glued along their boundaries , where @xmath172 is another copy of @xmath16 .
a @xmath131-strainer @xmath173 of @xmath170 at @xmath57 is called _ admissible _ if @xmath174 , @xmath175 for every @xmath176 , @xmath177 ( obviously , @xmath178 if @xmath179 for instance ) .
let @xmath180 denote the set of points of @xmath16 at which there are admissible @xmath131-strainers .
this has the structure of a lipschitz @xmath75-manifold with boundary .
note that every point of @xmath181 has a small neighborhood in @xmath16 almost isometric to an open subset of the half space @xmath182 for small @xmath137 .
if @xmath162 is a closed domain of @xmath180 , then the @xmath183-_strain radius _ of @xmath162 , denoted @xmath184 , is defined as the infimum of positive numbers @xmath185 such that there exists an admissible @xmath131-strainer of length @xmath186 at every point @xmath187 . for a small @xmath188 , we put @xmath189 we use the following special notations : @xmath190 let @xmath191 be another @xmath91-dimensional complete alexandrov space with curvature @xmath17 .
a surjective map @xmath192 is called an @xmath156-_almost lipschitz submersion _ if 1 .
it is an @xmath156-approximation ; 2 . for every @xmath193 @xmath194 where @xmath195 denotes the infimum of @xmath196 when @xmath100 runs over @xmath197 .
we denote by @xmath198 a function depending on a priori constants and @xmath199 satisfying @xmath200 .
[ thm : orig - cap ] given @xmath75 and @xmath201 there exist positive numbers @xmath202 , @xmath203 and @xmath204 satisfying the following @xmath49 let @xmath205 and @xmath191 be as above , and let @xmath206 be a closed domain such that @xmath207 .
suppose that @xmath16 has only weak singularities , i.e. , @xmath208 for some small @xmath209 .
if @xmath210 for some @xmath211 , then there exists a closed domain @xmath212 and a decomposition @xmath213 of @xmath3 into two closed domains glued along their boundaries and a lipschitz map @xmath214 such that 1 .
@xmath215 is the closure of @xmath216 , and @xmath217 ; 2 . both the restrictions @xmath218 and @xmath219 are 1 . locally trivial fibre bundles ; 2 .
@xmath220-lipschitz submersions . 1 .
the fibres of both @xmath221 and @xmath222 have almost nilpotent fundamental groups ( @xcite ) and the first betti numbers less than or equal to the dimensions of them ( @xcite ) .
2 . if @xmath16 has no boundary , then @xmath223 and @xmath224 . in this case ,
theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] is stated in @xcite , and will be called the fibration theorem as usual .
see @xcite and @xcite in the case when @xmath13 is a riemannian manifold .
for instance , if @xmath16 is a closed interval and if @xmath225 is sufficiently small , then we have an obvious decomposition @xmath226 , where @xmath227 , @xmath228 is a general fibre and @xmath229 consists of two components .
if @xmath16 is a riemannian disk @xmath230 , we have a decomposition @xmath226 , where @xmath231 and @xmath229 is a fibre bundle over @xmath232 whose fibre has boundary homeomorphic to @xmath228 . applying the results of the present paper together with @xcite , @xcite
, we have the following [ cor : cap ] under the situation of theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] , if the codimension @xmath233 is less than or equal to three , the topology of the fibre @xmath234 of @xmath222 is described as follows : 1 . if @xmath235 , @xmath234 is homeomorphic to @xmath236 2 . if @xmath237 , @xmath234 is homeomorphic to one of @xmath238 , @xmath239 , @xmath240 , and @xmath241 3 . if @xmath242 , @xmath234 is homeomorphic to either a disk - bundle or a gluing of two disk - bundles having the same topology as @xmath73 described in theorem [ thm : dim1 ] .
note that when @xmath243 , the topology of the fibre of @xmath221 is already determined in @xcite and @xcite .
the proofs of theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] and corollary [ cor : cap ] are differed to part [ part : cap ] , where we actually prove an equivariant version of theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] ( see theorem [ thm : cap ] ) . when no collapsing occurs , we have the following stability result due to @xcite .
[ thm : stability ] let a sequence of compact @xmath91-dimensional alexandrov spaces @xmath244 with curvature @xmath17 converge to a compact alexandrov space @xmath16 of dimension @xmath91
. then @xmath244 is homeomorphic to @xmath16 for sufficiently large @xmath19 . in the proof of the theorem above ,
the notion of regular maps is crucial .
here we recall the most basic case of it . consider a map @xmath245 on an open set @xmath48 of an alexandrov space @xmath16 defined by the distance functions @xmath246 from compact subsets @xmath247 .
the map @xmath248 is said to be @xmath249-_regular _ at @xmath250 if there is a point @xmath251 such that 1 .
@xmath252 ; 2 .
@xmath253 , for every @xmath254 . in @xcite
, it was proved that if @xmath245 is @xmath249-regular on @xmath48 for some @xmath255 sufficiently small compared to @xmath256 , then it is a topological submersion ( see also @xcite ) .
we simply say that @xmath248 is regular in this case . together with @xcite
, this implies that if @xmath257 is regular and proper , then it is a locally trivial fibre bundle over its image . under the same assumption as stability theorem [ thm : stability ] ,
suppose in addition that a regular map @xmath257 is given as above on an open subset @xmath258 . using an approximation map @xmath259
, we can define a regular map @xmath260 on an open subset @xmath261 for any sufficiently large @xmath19 .
the following is the respectful version of stability theorem [ thm : stability ] .
[ thm : stability - respect ] under the situation above , there exists a homeomorphism @xmath262 such that @xmath263 holds on every compact set @xmath264 and for sufficiently large @xmath265 . for any compact
set @xmath128 of an alexandrov space @xmath16 , @xmath266 denotes the distance function from @xmath128 . in case @xmath16
is a riemannian manifold , we denote by @xmath267 a smooth approximation of @xmath268 .
let @xmath269 be a complete nonnegatively curved alexandrov space with nonempty boundary . in @xcite
, it was proved that the function @xmath270 is concave on @xmath269 .
we first show the rigidity for this function .
[ prop : concave - rigid ] for a unit speed geodesic segment @xmath271\to c$ ] joining @xmath151 to @xmath272 , suppose that @xmath273 is constant .
then for any minimal geodesic @xmath274 from @xmath151 to @xmath275 , there is a minimal geodesic @xmath276 from @xmath272 to @xmath275 , such that @xmath277 bounds a flat totally geodesic rectangle .
this follows from a modification of proposition 9.10 in @xcite . for completeness
, we give a proof below .
let @xmath278 denote the end point of @xmath274 .
we show that @xmath279 is the spherical suspension over @xmath280 , where @xmath281 is the double of @xmath269 .
let @xmath282 be another copy of @xmath151 , and @xmath283 and @xmath284 the directions at @xmath285 represented by geodesics @xmath286 and @xmath287 respectively .
obviously @xmath288 .
it follows that @xmath279 is the spherical suspension over the hypersurface @xmath289 .
clearly @xmath290 is a subset of @xmath291 which coincides with @xmath292 .
an obvious argument then implies that @xmath293 .
let @xmath294\to x$ ] be a unit speed minimal geodesic joining @xmath285 to @xmath272 .
we consider the concave function @xmath295 .
put @xmath296 , where @xmath297 denotes the direction at @xmath298 represented by @xmath299 . from a standard argument ,
@xmath300 consider the triangle @xmath301 on @xmath302 such that @xmath303 , @xmath304 and @xmath305 , where @xmath306 .
set @xmath307 , @xmath308 , @xmath309 , and @xmath310 . since @xmath311 , we have @xmath312 .
it follows from the concavity of @xmath248 that @xmath313 thus we obtain that @xmath314 consider now a comparison triangle @xmath315 in @xmath302 and put @xmath316 , @xmath317 . since we may assume for our purpose that @xmath318
, it follows from an obvious consideration with @xmath319 that @xmath320 , @xmath321 and hence @xmath322 it follows from the rigidity argument(cf.@xcite ) that @xmath323 spans a totally geodesic flat triangle isometric to @xmath315 .
furthermore , @xmath324 .
it follows from the concavity of @xmath248 that @xmath325 for all @xmath326 .
let @xmath327 and @xmath328 be the points on @xmath275 and @xmath329 respectively such that @xmath330 and @xmath331 .
then it follows together with the comparison argument that @xmath332 .
thus @xmath299 lies on the minimal connections from the points of @xmath333 to @xmath275 . by repeating the argument above for @xmath334 in place of @xmath335
, we conclude that the set of minimal connections @xmath336 , @xmath337 , provides a totally geodesic flat rectangle .
let @xmath16 be a complete noncompact alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature .
consider the busemann function associated with a reference point @xmath57 defined by @xmath338 where @xmath333 runs over all the geodesic rays emanating from @xmath32 and @xmath339 applying the cheeger - gromoll basic construction(@xcite , @xcite ) , we obtain a sequence of finitely many nonempty compact totally convex sets : @xmath340 where @xmath341 is the minimum set of @xmath342 , @xmath343 , @xmath344 and @xmath345 has no boundary .
then a soul @xmath292 of @xmath16 is defined as @xmath346 .
it was proved in @xcite that @xmath16 is homotopy equivalent to @xmath292 .
the compact totally convex set @xmath341 depends on the reference point @xmath32 and is denoted by @xmath347 for a moment .
now consider the integer @xmath348 we denote by @xmath349 the ideal boundary of @xmath16 equipped with the tits distance .
[ lem : c0codim1 ] if @xmath350 , then @xmath351 consists of at most two elements .
consider @xmath341 with an arbitrary reference point . by proposition [ prop : concave - rigid
] , we have a map @xmath352 satisfying : 1 .
@xmath353 for any @xmath354 2 .
both @xmath355 and @xmath356 represent geodesic rays from @xmath100 for any @xmath357 , where @xmath358 , @xmath359 3 . for any @xmath360 , @xmath361 , a geodesic @xmath362 joining @xmath100 and @xmath101 and @xmath363 span flat rectangles . for any @xmath364 , consider @xmath347 .
clearly @xmath365 .
let @xmath366 denote the geodesic rays @xmath367 .
suppose that there is a geodesic ray @xmath299 starting from @xmath32 different from @xmath366 , and consider the minimum set @xmath269 of @xmath368 on the compact set @xmath347 .
since @xmath368 is locally nonconstant on @xmath347 , @xmath369 .
obviously @xmath370 for any @xmath371 , contradicting the assumption @xmath350 .
let @xmath16 be the double of the closed domain @xmath372 on the @xmath373-plane .
note @xmath374 .
for @xmath375 , @xmath347 coincides with the segment @xmath376\times 0 $ ] , and for @xmath377 , @xmath378 .
the above example shows that @xmath379 does not imply @xmath380 .
[ prop : ideal ] @xmath381 .
independently shioya has obtained the above proposition in a similar way .
[ lem : perp ] let @xmath123 be an compact alexandrov space with curvature @xmath121 , and @xmath382 be a closed locally convex set of positive dimension and without boundary as an alexandrov space .
let @xmath383 be such that @xmath384 .
then @xmath385 for every @xmath386 .
let @xmath387 be a foot from @xmath388 to @xmath389 .
we proceed by induction on @xmath390 . if @xmath391 , then @xmath389 is isometric to a circle .
since @xmath392 , the lemma follows from the alexandrov convexity .
suppose the lemma is true for @xmath393 .
put @xmath394 , @xmath395 .
let @xmath396 , @xmath397 for every @xmath398 .
it is easy to check that @xmath399 is a closed locally convex subset of @xmath400 . applying the induction hypothesis
, we see that @xmath401 for every @xmath398 .
the alexandrov convexity then implies the conclusion . it suffices to show that for any regular point @xmath32 of @xmath292 and any geodesic ray @xmath333 from @xmath32 , @xmath402 is perpendicular to @xmath292
let @xmath403 be a foot from @xmath404 to @xmath292 , and @xmath299 a geodesic ray from @xmath100 asymptotic to @xmath333 .
namely we have sequences @xmath405 , @xmath406 satisfying 1 .
@xmath407 , @xmath408 , @xmath409 ; 2 .
@xmath410 . note that @xmath411 is a closed locally convex set of @xmath412 . by the previous lemma , @xmath413 for any @xmath414 , and hence @xmath415 .
the alexandrov convexity then implies that @xmath416 with @xmath417 .
thus we have @xmath418 , and hence @xmath419 , where @xmath368 denotes the busemann function associated with the ray @xmath299 .
it follows that @xmath420 for any @xmath414 . thus @xmath333 must be perpendicular to @xmath292 at @xmath32 .
we denote by @xmath421 the closed @xmath156-metric ball around @xmath292 .
[ thm : soul ] let @xmath16 be a @xmath0-dimensional complete open @xmath422i.e , noncompact and boundaryless@xmath423 alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature .
suppose in addition that @xmath16 is topologically regular .
then there exists a positive number @xmath156 such that 1 .
@xmath16 is homeomorphic to @xmath424 2 .
@xmath421 is homeomorphic to a disk - bundle over @xmath292 , called the normal bundle of @xmath292 .
the proof of theorem [ thm : soul ] is given in part [ part : alex ] .
[ cor : soul ] suppose that a sequence of @xmath0-dimensional pointed complete riemannian manifolds @xmath425 with @xmath426 converges to a pointed complete noncompact @xmath0-dimensional alexandrov space @xmath427 with nonnegative curvature .
then for a sufficiently large @xmath428 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to the normal closed disk - bundle over the soul of @xmath430 .
note first that @xmath430 is topologically regular ( @xcite ) . by theorem [ thm : stability - respect ]
, @xmath431 is homeomorphic to @xmath432 any sufficiently large @xmath433 because of the nonnegativity of the curvature of @xmath430 . by theorem [ thm : soul ]
, @xmath432 is homeomorphic to the normal closed disk - bundle over the soul of @xmath430
in this section , we present some results on @xmath8-actions on oriented @xmath0-manifolds which will be used in the subsequent sections .
first we fix the notation and terminology about local @xmath8-actions .
suppose that an open covering @xmath434 of a manifold @xmath3 and an @xmath8-action @xmath435 on @xmath436 are given in such a way that both the actions @xmath435 and @xmath437 coincide up to orientation on the intersection @xmath438 .
we say that @xmath439 defines a local @xmath8-action , denoted @xmath440 , on @xmath3 .
the local @xmath8-action @xmath440 is _ locally smooth _ if each @xmath441 has a slice @xmath442 which is a disk invariant under te action of the isotropy group @xmath443 at @xmath100 and if this action is equivariant to an orthogonal action .
let @xmath444 be the orbit space and @xmath445 the orbit map .
an orbit is called _ exceptional _ if the isotropy group at a point on the orbit is non - trivial but finite .
let @xmath446 and @xmath447 denote the fixed point set and the union of the exceptional orbits respectively . in the present paper , an orbit in @xmath448
is called a singular orbit .
the images @xmath449 , @xmath450 and @xmath451 are called the fixed point locus , the exceptional locus and the singular locus respectively .
[ lem : simply ] 1 . if @xmath3 is simply connected , then so is @xmath452 2 .
if both @xmath3 and @xmath453 are orientable , then @xmath440 is actually an @xmath8-action .
let @xmath455 be any loop at a point @xmath456 .
since @xmath457 is of codimension @xmath458 , one can slightly perturb @xmath455 to a loop @xmath459 in @xmath460 .
let @xmath299 be a lift of @xmath459 to @xmath461 . from the assumption ,
@xmath299 is homotopic to a path in @xmath462 keeping endpoints fixed .
thus @xmath459 and hence @xmath455 is null - homotopic .
@xmath463 . for each @xmath464
, we have the orientation on the slice @xmath442 at @xmath100 induced from the orientation of @xmath453 .
then the orientation of @xmath3 induces the orientation of the orbit @xmath465 in such a way that the orientation of @xmath442 followed by the orientation of @xmath465 coincides with the original orientation of @xmath3 .
since @xmath466 is of codimension @xmath458 , those orientations of the orbits in @xmath461 extend to the orientations of the orbits in @xmath467 .
let @xmath468 , and let @xmath469 be relatively prime integers .
the @xmath8-action @xmath470 on @xmath471 defined by @xmath472 is called the _ canonical @xmath8-action of type @xmath473_. for any @xmath474 , the restriction of @xmath470 to @xmath475 gives a seifert bundle @xmath476 .
note that the restriction @xmath477 is the hopf - fibration .
note also that the orbit space @xmath478 with the standard quotient metric is an alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature whose space of directions @xmath479 at the origin @xmath480 has at most two singular points , say @xmath481 and @xmath482 , where @xmath483 we describe the equivariant classification of @xmath8-actions on oriented @xmath0-manifolds @xmath13 slightly extending the treatment in @xcite . in @xcite
, @xmath13 is assumed to be simply connected and to have no boundary . in our later use
however , we need the more general case when @xmath13 has nonempty boundary and only the orbit space @xmath484 is assumed to be simply connected . for convenience ,
we describe the equivariant classification in our general setting .
let @xmath13 be an oriented @xmath0-manifold ( possibly with boundary ) with a locally smooth @xmath8-action .
we assume that there are no fixed points on @xmath485 .
let @xmath486 be the orbit map .
the proof of the following proposition is similar to proposition ( 3.1 ) in @xcite , and hence omitted .
under the situation above , @xmath484 is a @xmath4-manifold for which the general properties of the singular locus are described as follows@xmath49 1 .
@xmath487 2 .
@xmath488 is discrete@xmath489 3 .
the closure @xmath490 of @xmath466 is a disjoint union of arcs and simply closed curves in @xmath491 .
each connected component of @xmath466 is one of the following@xmath489 1 . a simple closed curve in @xmath492 2 . an arc whose closure joins two points of @xmath493 .
note that the orbit type is constant on each component of @xmath466 . from now on we assume that @xmath484 is simply connected .
if @xmath484 is simply connected , then each component of @xmath494 is homeomorphic to either @xmath56 or @xmath53 .
note that each component of @xmath495 is a sphere . on the double @xmath496 we have an @xmath8-action induced from the original @xmath8-action .
by van kampen s theorem , the orbit space @xmath497 is simply connected .
suppose that there is a component @xmath498 of @xmath494 which is neither a disk nor a sphere .
then it turns out the double @xmath499 is a component of @xmath500 and a surface with genus @xmath121 , a contradiction to the simple connectivity of @xmath497 .
the orientation of @xmath13 induces an orientation of @xmath484 in such a way that the orientation of @xmath484 followed by the natural orientation of the orbit coincides with the original orientation of @xmath13 . for a given oriented submanifold @xmath172 of @xmath484
we also use this convention to orient @xmath501 .
we assign the following orbit data to @xmath484 : 1 . for a given component @xmath502 of @xmath494 homeomorphic to @xmath56 , take a collar neighborhood @xmath503 $ ] of @xmath504 , and orient @xmath505 by the outward normal .
we assign to @xmath502 the euler number of the @xmath8-bundle @xmath506 2 . for each @xmath507
, take a small disk neighborhood @xmath508 of @xmath509 .
we assign to @xmath509 the euler number @xmath510 or @xmath511 of the @xmath8-bundle @xmath512 3 .
let @xmath513 be a simple closed curve in @xmath514 and fix an orientation of @xmath513 .
for each component @xmath515 of @xmath516 , let @xmath517 be the end point of @xmath515 , choose a sufficiently small disk domain @xmath508 of @xmath517 and orient @xmath518 by a normal with direction of @xmath515 .
we assign to @xmath515 the seifert invariant @xmath519 of the orbit in @xmath520 with image @xmath521 .
the weights assigned to @xmath513 consists of the orientation and a finite system of the seifert invariants , abbreviated by @xmath522 .
if the orientation of @xmath513 is reversed , the finite system changes to @xmath523 .
we regards these two weights to be equivalent@xmath489 4 .
let @xmath524 be an arc component of @xmath514 .
choosing an orientation of @xmath524 , we define a finite system of seifert invariants as in @xmath525 .
let @xmath517 be either the initial point or the end point of @xmath524 , and choose a sufficiently small disk domain @xmath508 of @xmath517 and orient @xmath518 as in @xmath525 .
we assign to @xmath517 the obstruction number @xmath342 for the seifert bundle @xmath526 with exactly one singular orbit .
the weights assigned to @xmath524 consists of the orientation , a finite system of the seifert invariants and the two obstruction numbers at the end points , abbreviated by @xmath527 .
if the orientation of @xmath524 is reversed , the weights change to @xmath528 .
we regards these two weights to be equivalent . @xmath484
together with the above collection of weights is called a _ weighted orbit space_. [ lem : adj - inv ] the weights defined above have some restriction stated below@xmath49 1 .
if @xmath529 and @xmath530 denotes the seifert invariants assigned to adjacent arcs in some weighted arc or circle , then @xmath531 2 .
if @xmath527 denotes the weights of a weighted arc , then @xmath532 [ prop : circ - class ] let @xmath533 and @xmath534 be compact oriented @xmath0-manifolds @xmath422possibly with boundary@xmath423 with @xmath8-action such that their weighted orbit spaces are isomorphic .
then @xmath533 is orientation - preservingly equivariantly homeomorphic to @xmath534 .
this can be proved by the same methods as @xcite by using propositions ( 3.6 ) , ( 3.9 ) , lemma ( 6.1 ) and theorem ( 6.2 ) in @xcite together with proposition ( 9.1 ) in @xcite .
next we discuss @xmath8-actions on @xmath53-bundles over @xmath56 ( see @xcite for details ) , which will be used in the subsequent sections to construct local structures of collapsing in several cases .
let @xmath535 be the union of its upper and lower hemispheres , and @xmath536 the unit disks , @xmath80
. put polar coordinates on @xmath537 . for an arbitrary integer @xmath538
, we consider the @xmath53-bundle over @xmath56 defined as @xmath539 where @xmath540 is the gluing homeomorphism defined by @xmath541 this bundle has euler number @xmath538 , which coincides with the self - intersection number of the zero section .
note that the boundary of @xmath542 is homeomorphic to the lens space @xmath543 .
conversely any @xmath53-bundle over @xmath56 with the self - intersection number @xmath538 of its zero section is homeomorphic to @xmath542 . for relatively prime integers @xmath544 and @xmath545 ,
define an @xmath8-action @xmath546 on @xmath537 by @xmath547 those actions @xmath546 define an @xmath8-action , denoted @xmath548 , on the bundle @xmath542 if and only if @xmath549 and @xmath550 .
we show that some @xmath8-actions with simple orbit spaces essentially come from @xmath8-actions on @xmath542 with suitable @xmath551 [ prop : plumbing ] let @xmath13 be a compact oriented @xmath0-manifold with boundary and with a locally smooth @xmath8-action @xmath552 whose orbit space @xmath484 is homeomorphic to @xmath238 .
suppose that 1 .
the closure of any component of the exceptional locus @xmath466 of @xmath552 meets @xmath553 2 .
@xmath554 consists of @xmath54 points of @xmath555 and @xmath91 pieces of disjoint disks on @xmath495 with @xmath556 , @xmath557 .
then there is an @xmath8-action @xmath440 on @xmath558 as described above which is equivariantly homeomorphic to @xmath559 , where @xmath538 is determined by the weighted orbit invariants of @xmath552 as follows@xmath49 1
. if @xmath237 and @xmath466 is empty , then @xmath560 2 .
if @xmath237 and @xmath466 is an oriented arc with seifert invariants @xmath561 joining a point of @xmath554 to a point of @xmath495 , then @xmath562 3 .
suppose that @xmath237 and @xmath466 consists of two oriented arcs @xmath563 and @xmath564 with seifert invariants @xmath565 and @xmath561 respectively , where @xmath563 joins a point of @xmath495 to a point of @xmath554 and @xmath564 joins the other point of @xmath554 to a point of @xmath495 .
then @xmath566 4 .
if @xmath237 and @xmath466 is an arc joining the two points of @xmath554 , then @xmath567 5 . if @xmath237 and @xmath466 consists of an oriented arc @xmath568 joining the two points of @xmath554 with seifert invariants @xmath519 , and an oriented arc from the end point of @xmath568 to a point of @xmath495 with seifert invariants @xmath561 , then @xmath569 6
suppose that @xmath237 and @xmath466 consists of three oriented arcs @xmath563 , @xmath568 and @xmath564 with seifert invariants @xmath565 , @xmath519 and @xmath561 respectively , where @xmath563 joins a point of @xmath495 to a point of @xmath554 , @xmath568 joins the end point of @xmath563 to the other point of @xmath554 and @xmath564 joins the end point of @xmath568 to a point of @xmath495 . then @xmath570 7 . if @xmath571 and @xmath466 is empty , then @xmath572 8 . if @xmath571 and @xmath466 is an arc from a point of @xmath495 to @xmath573 with seifert invariants @xmath565 , then @xmath574 9 . if @xmath575 , then @xmath576 .
this follows from proposition [ prop : plumbing ] and the examples of @xmath8-actions on the @xmath53-bundles over @xmath56 given in section 4 of @xcite . in proposition [ prop : plumbing ] , if @xmath577 , then @xmath13 is homeomorphic to @xmath578 and @xmath559 is equivariantly homeomorphic to either @xmath579 for some relatively prime integers @xmath580 and @xmath342 @xmath581 or @xmath582 @xmath583 .
[ part : collapse ] in this part [ part : collapse ] , we use some results from parts [ part : alex ] and [ part : cap ] , for instance theorem [ thm : soul ] and theorem [ thm : cap ] .
we denote by @xmath584 a function depending on a priori constants , @xmath585 and @xmath156 satisfying @xmath586 for each fixed @xmath585 . for a closed set @xmath292 in a metric space ,
we denote by @xmath587 the annulus @xmath588 .
let a sequence of pointed complete @xmath91-dimensional riemannian manifolds @xmath589 with @xmath426 converge to a pointed @xmath75-dimensional alexandrov space @xmath590 with respect to the pointed gromov - hausdorff convergence , where @xmath591 . in this section , we establish a basic result to study the topology of the metric ball @xmath592 for any sufficiently large @xmath19 compared to a fixed small @xmath593 . if @xmath32 is a regular point of @xmath205 , then @xmath592 fibers over @xmath594 with almost nonnegatively curved fibre ( @xcite ) .
hence from now on , we assume that @xmath32 is a singular point .
the purpose of this section is to prove the following result .
[ thm : rescal ] suppose @xmath97 and that @xmath592 is not homeomorphic to @xmath578 for each @xmath595 and for any sufficiently large @xmath19 .
then there exist an @xmath596 and sequences @xmath597 and @xmath598 such that 1 .
@xmath599 under the convergence @xmath600 ; 2 .
@xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath601 for every @xmath602 and large @xmath19 compared to @xmath433 ; 3 . for any limit @xmath603 of @xmath604
, we have @xmath605 . 1 .
the homeomorphism in theorem [ thm : rescal ] @xmath463 is given by the flow curves of a gradient - like vector field of the distance function @xmath606 2 .
the rescaling constant @xmath607 can be thought of as the size of the ( singular ) fibre which is not visible yet .
the above theorem has been proved in @xcite under the hypothesis that @xmath608 and @xmath609 4 .
a generalization of theorem [ thm : rescal ] actually holds in the general dimension .
this will appear in a forthcoming paper .
let @xmath603 be a complete noncompact alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature given in theorem [ thm : rescal ] , and @xmath610 denote the ideal boundary of @xmath162 with the tits metric .
the following lemma has been proved in lemma 3.7 of @xcite .
[ lem : expand ] there is an expanding map @xmath611 .
in particular , @xmath612 . actually we have the following lemma in more general setting .
the proof is similar to lemma 3.7 of @xcite , and hence omitted .
[ lem : expanding2 ] suppose that a sequence @xmath613 of @xmath91-dimensional complete noncompact pointed alexandrov spaces with curvature @xmath614 , @xmath615 , converges to a pointed space @xmath616 .
for @xmath617 converging to @xmath618 , let @xmath619 be any limit of @xmath620 .
then we have an expanding map @xmath621 .
in particular , @xmath622 .
we go back to the situation of theorem [ thm : rescal ] .
let @xmath292 be a soul of @xmath162 .
[ prop : ideal - dims ] @xmath623 .
this immediately follows from proposition [ prop : ideal ] and lemma [ lem : expand ] . as a preliminary to the proof of theorem [ thm : rescal ]
, we recall an argument in section 3 of @xcite . for a compact set @xmath624 and @xmath255 ,
let @xmath625 denote the maximal number of points in @xmath128 having distance @xmath626 .
take a @xmath627-approximation @xmath628 with @xmath629 , where @xmath630 as @xmath631 .
for any @xmath632 , we take an @xmath156-net @xmath633 of @xmath33 . for a small enough
@xmath593 compared to @xmath32 and @xmath156 , take @xmath634 , @xmath635 , such that the direction @xmath636 at @xmath32 of a minimal segment from @xmath32 to @xmath637 satisfies @xmath638 .
set @xmath639 and @xmath640 consider the measure @xmath641 , where @xmath642 is the dirac @xmath137-measure .
we have a sequence @xmath643 such that the measure @xmath644 converges to some borel measure @xmath645 on @xmath33 as @xmath646 in the weak@xmath647 topology .
note that 1 .
@xmath645 coincides with the normalized hausdorff measure over @xmath33 if @xmath648
@xmath645 is regular in the sense that @xmath649 for any non - empty open subset @xmath48 of @xmath33 .
the latter property comes from the bishop - gromov volume comparison theorem ( cf.@xcite ) for @xmath33 .
we make the identification @xmath650 .
let @xmath651 be a @xmath652-approximation such that @xmath653 and @xmath654 , where @xmath655 , and let @xmath656 we then have @xmath657 on any fixed compact set of @xmath120 , simply denoted as @xmath658 [ lem : locmax - general ] if @xmath659 takes a strictly local maximum at the vertex @xmath660 , then we can find @xmath597 and @xmath598 satisfying the conclusion of theorem [ thm : rescal ] .
we give a sketch of the essential idea of the proof of lemma [ lem : locmax - general ] . from the assumption
, one can take as the point @xmath661 as a local maximum point of @xmath64 converging to @xmath118 , and as @xmath607 to be the maximum distance between @xmath661 and the critical point set ( @xcite , @xcite ) of @xmath662 within @xmath594 .
let @xmath663 be a critical point of @xmath662 within @xmath594 realizing @xmath607 , and let @xmath664 be the limit of @xmath663 under the convergence @xmath665 .
let @xmath666 denote the point at infinity defined by the limit ray , say @xmath667 from @xmath668 of the geodesic @xmath669 under the convergence @xmath665 . for fixed @xmath670 and @xmath671 , @xmath64
after some normalization converges to the function @xmath672 , where @xmath673 can be thought of as a generalized busemann function associated with @xmath667 .
let @xmath674 be a direction of a minimal geodesic from @xmath668 to @xmath675 , and let @xmath676 denote the angle between @xmath677 and @xmath667 .
since @xmath675 is a critical point of @xmath678 and since @xmath162 has nonnegaitve curvature , we obtain that @xmath679 . on the other hand , since @xmath668 is a maximum point of @xmath680 , we have @xmath681 it follows that @xmath682 .
therefore @xmath683 , which have pairwise distance @xmath626 , must be contained in a metric sphere @xmath684 .
since this holds for any sufficiently small @xmath156 with @xmath685 , we can conclude @xmath605 .
[ lem : loc - max ] suppose one of the following two cases .
1 . @xmath608 and @xmath609 2 .
@xmath686 .
then the function @xmath659 takes a strictly local maximum at @xmath660 .
in particular , theorem [ thm : rescal ] holds in those cases .
the case ( 1 ) is proved in @xcite , and suppose the case ( 2 ) and that there exists a sequence @xmath687 satisfying @xmath688 and take @xmath689 with @xmath690 . putting @xmath691 , we have @xmath692 for every @xmath693 with @xmath694 , where @xmath137 is a small positive constant independent of @xmath19 . now by the assumption , @xmath695 for all @xmath696 .
it follows that @xmath697 for large @xmath19 .
this is a contradiction .
[ lem : split - rescal ] suppose @xmath698 . if @xmath699 , then theorem [ thm : rescal ] holds .
we first assume that @xmath23 and @xmath32 is not a boundary point of @xmath24 .
note that @xmath700 , where @xmath123 is a circle of length @xmath701 . to apply the previous argument to @xmath124 ,
let us consider the function @xmath702 where @xmath703 denotes the normalized hausdorff measure of @xmath123 .
by lemma [ lem : loc - max ] , @xmath704 takes a strictly local maximum at @xmath118 .
take @xmath705 with @xmath706 , and for a point @xmath707 on the line @xmath708 with @xmath709 , let @xmath710 and @xmath711 .
let @xmath712 be the three - dimensional submanifold defined as @xmath713 we construct a function @xmath714 on @xmath15 by using an @xmath715-net @xmath716 of @xmath123 , @xmath717 and @xmath718 in a way similar to the above construction of @xmath64 in : @xmath719 similarly to , we have @xmath720 now take a local maximum point @xmath721 of the function @xmath714 restricted to @xmath712 such that @xmath599 .
this is possible because @xmath704 takes a strictly local maximum at @xmath118 and @xmath722 as @xmath723 , @xmath724 , where @xmath725 denotes the unit subcone of @xmath124 .
let @xmath607 be the maximum distance from @xmath661 to the critical point set of @xmath662 on @xmath592 .
note that @xmath597 since @xmath599 .
let @xmath603 be any limit of @xmath604 . by the splitting theorem , @xmath162 is isometric to a product @xmath726 .
let @xmath727 be a critical point of @xmath662 with @xmath728 .
we may assume that @xmath729 converges to a point @xmath730 under the convergence @xmath731 .
the fact that @xmath675 is a critical point of @xmath678 yields @xmath732 , where @xmath733 is the projection . for @xmath734 , take @xmath735 such that @xmath736 for @xmath737 .
we may assume that @xmath738 converges to a function @xmath739 on @xmath162 .
since @xmath738 also takes a local maximum on @xmath712 at @xmath661 , it follows from construction that @xmath739 takes a maximum on @xmath740 at @xmath668 .
now the argument of lemma 3.5 in @xcite yields @xmath741 , and the theorem holds .
the proof for the case that @xmath742 $ ] , @xmath743 or the case that @xmath43 , @xmath744 $ ] is similar to the above argument . finally let us consider the case that @xmath745 $ ] , that is , @xmath746 .
take @xmath747 with @xmath748 , and @xmath749 .
set @xmath750 as before , and consider the two - dimensional submanifold @xmath751 then we complete the proof by a similar argument . in the rest of this section
, we consider the remaining case that @xmath752 . from now on , we assume @xmath97 . in view of lemma [ lem : split - rescal ] and @xcite , we may assume @xmath23 .
for @xmath753 with @xmath754 , we put @xmath755 , @xmath756 , where @xmath757 , @xmath758 are sufficiently close to @xmath388 and @xmath759 respectively , and @xmath671 is sufficiently small . take @xmath760 , and put @xmath761 , @xmath762 we may assume that for some fixed constant @xmath763 1 .
@xmath764 for any @xmath765 ; 2 .
@xmath766 for any @xmath765 ; 3 .
@xmath767 for all @xmath768 . for @xmath769 with @xmath770 , @xmath771 , we have @xmath772 for every @xmath773 and large @xmath19 .
let @xmath774 be such that @xmath775 , and @xmath776 applying lemma [ lem : split - rescal ] to the convergence @xmath777 , we have sequences @xmath597 and @xmath778 satisfying 1 .
@xmath779 for every @xmath602 and large @xmath19 ; 2 . for any limit @xmath603 of @xmath780
, we have @xmath781 .
note that @xmath162 is isometric to a product @xmath782 . by lemma [ lem :
expand ] , @xmath783 .
it follows from proposition [ prop : ideal ] that the dimension of the soul @xmath784 of @xmath785 is @xmath618 or @xmath84 .
since @xmath785 has no boundary , the generalized soul theorem in @xcite implies that @xmath786 for large @xmath428 .
[ lem : u_1 ] we have @xmath787 let @xmath788 be large numbers , and let @xmath729 be a point on @xmath789 with @xmath790 .
let @xmath791 be the limit of @xmath729 under the convergence @xmath792 . from the standard morse theory for distance functions together with the proof of lemma [ lem : split - rescal ] ,
@xmath793 it should be noted here that to show the second @xmath794 above , we actually need to take a smooth approximation @xmath795 of @xmath796 .
since this is only a technical point , we omit the detail of this argument .
now consider the convergence @xmath797 and note that @xmath798 is regular near @xmath799 .
it follows from theorem [ thm : stability - respect ] that @xmath800 this completes the proof . to complete the proof of theorem [ thm : rescal ] , we need to determine the topology of @xmath592 .
this is based on the following lemma .
[ lem : flow - rescal ] there exist a positive number @xmath156 independent of @xmath19 and a unit vector field @xmath801 on @xmath802 satisfying : 1 .
the flow curves of @xmath801 are gradient - like for @xmath803 ; 2 .
let @xmath804 denote the flow curve of @xmath801 starting from a point @xmath805 .
then we have 1 .
@xmath804 is transversal to @xmath806 for every @xmath807 ; 2 .
@xmath808 for every @xmath809 .
we construct a local gradient - like vector field for @xmath803 on a small neighborhood of each point of @xmath802 and use a partition of unity to get a global one .
it is easy to construct a vector field @xmath810 on a small neighborhood @xmath811 of a broken geodesic @xmath812 so as to satisfy @xmath454 , @xmath463-(a ) and that the flow curve of @xmath801 through @xmath813 passes @xmath814 .
extend @xmath810 on @xmath815 , @xmath816 so as to satisfy @xmath454 .
for each @xmath817 , let @xmath818 denote a unit vector at @xmath729 tangent to a minimal geodesic from @xmath729 to @xmath819 .
the property @xmath463 stated in the preceding paragraph of lemma [ lem : u_1 ] yields that @xmath820 where @xmath821 is a limit point of @xmath729 .
let @xmath822 be a smooth extension of @xmath818 to a small neighborhood of @xmath729 . by patching @xmath823 with a partition of unity ,
we construct a vector field @xmath824 on @xmath825 satisfying in place of @xmath818 . to obtain the required vector field
, it suffices to patch @xmath810 and @xmath824 .
[ lem : dim3balltop ] @xmath826 let @xmath827 and consider a smooth approximation @xmath64 of the function @xmath828 , which is regular near @xmath829 for some small @xmath830 independent of @xmath19 .
let @xmath831 . by using lemma [ lem : flow - rescal ]
, one can construct a gradient - like vector field @xmath810 for @xmath803 on @xmath832 such that @xmath810 is tangent to @xmath833 . to do this
, it suffices to take the tangential component of the vector field @xmath801 to @xmath833 in the orthogonal decomposition of @xmath801 , where @xmath801 is the vector field given in lemma [ lem : flow - rescal ] .
thus we have @xmath834 .
since @xmath64 is regular on @xmath835 and the gradient flow of it is transversal to @xmath836 , we conclude that @xmath837 . by the previous lemma together with the topological assumption on @xmath592 , @xmath802 is homeomorphic to @xmath838 .
let @xmath839 , and @xmath840 the universal cover of @xmath802 . for a point @xmath841 over @xmath814 , put @xmath842 and choose a sequence @xmath843 satisfying @xmath844 let @xmath845 be any limit of @xmath846 with respect to the pointed equivariant gromov - hausdorff topology ( see @xcite for instance for the definition ) .
note that @xmath847 is a lie group ( @xcite ) . by the choice of @xmath848 , @xmath849 collapses , that is , @xmath850 .
since @xmath851 , it follows that @xmath852 .
since @xmath160 is simply connected and @xmath853 , the soul of @xmath160 must be a point , and therefore generalized soul theorem [ thm : soul ] implies that @xmath160 is homeomorphic to @xmath854 .
let @xmath855 be any limit of @xmath856 with respect to the pointed equivariant gromov - hausdorff topology .
the previous argument shows @xmath781 .
moreover @xmath849 does not collapse under this convergence , and therefore @xmath857 . as before , since @xmath162 is simply connected and @xmath783 , generalized soul theorem [ thm : soul ] and proposition [ prop : ideal ] imply @xmath858 .
hence @xmath859 , the limit of @xmath860 , has a soul @xmath861 .
corollary [ cor : soul ] then yields that @xmath862 for large @xmath428 and @xmath19 .
this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : rescal ] .
[ cor : dim3top ] if a sequence of pointed @xmath0-dimensional complete riemannian manifolds @xmath425 with @xmath426 converges to a pointed @xmath4-dimensional complete alexandrov space @xmath863 , then there exists a positive number @xmath864 depending only on @xmath32 such that @xmath592 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 or @xmath838 for sufficiently large @xmath19 .
applying theorem [ thm : rescal ] to the convergence @xmath865 , we have sequences @xmath597 and @xmath866 such that 1 .
@xmath599 under the convergence @xmath867 ; 2 .
@xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath601 for every @xmath602 and large @xmath868 ; 3 . for a limit @xmath603 of @xmath869
, we have @xmath870 .
since @xmath610 has dimension at least two ( lemma [ lem : expand ] ) , the soul of @xmath162 has dimension at most one ( proposition [ prop : ideal ] ) .
thus corollary [ cor : soul ] implies the conclusion .
from theorem [ thm : rescal ] , it is significant in the first step to analyze collapsing of @xmath0-manifolds to @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov spaces , which will be discussed in sections [ sec : dim3nobdyloc ] , [ sec : dim3nobdyglob ] , [ sec : dim3wbdy ] and [ sec : dim3positive ] . in this section
, we investigate the structure near singular points of @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov spaces with curvature bounded below , and obtain two results : one is about the structure of the essential singular point set of a @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov space in terms of quasigeodesics ( proposition [ prop : graph ] ) , and the other is about the existence of a collar neighborhood of @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov spaces with nonempty boundary ( theorem [ thm : collar ] ) .
we first prepare some material on extremal subsets ( see @xcite for the details ) . by definition , a closed subset @xmath228 in an alexandrov space @xmath16 with curvature bounded below
is called _ extremal _ if the following holds : for any @xmath871 , consider the distance function @xmath872 , and let @xmath873 be a local minimum point for the restriction @xmath874 .
then @xmath821 is infinitesimally a local minimum of @xmath875 , namely @xmath876 or equivalently , @xmath877 if @xmath228 is a point , @xmath228 is extremal if and only if it is an extremal point in the sense of section [ sec : cap ] .
[ ex : exti ] 1 .
@xmath878 is an extremal subset of @xmath879 2 .
@xmath880 is an extremal subset of @xmath881 , where @xmath882 denotes the circle of length @xmath883 and @xmath884 is the vertex of the cone @xmath885 .
now consider an alexandrov space @xmath123 with curvature @xmath121 .
a closed set @xmath886 is called _ extremal _ if it satisfies the above condition together with 1 .
@xmath887 ; 2 .
@xmath888 if @xmath889 is either a point or empty .
[ ex : extii ] 1 .
let @xmath123 be the spherical suspension over a circle of length @xmath890 .
then the set consisting of the two vertices of @xmath123 is extremal ; 2 .
let @xmath481 , @xmath482 and @xmath891 be three points on the unit sphere @xmath892 with @xmath893 , @xmath894 , and @xmath895 .
let @xmath896 denote the double of the triangular region bounded by @xmath897 .
then any nonempty subset of @xmath898 is extremal in @xmath896 .
[ lem : reduct ] @xmath899 is extremal if and only if @xmath900 is extremal for any @xmath901 , where the space of directions @xmath902 of @xmath228 at @xmath32 is defined as the set of directions @xmath903 such that for some sequence @xmath904 with @xmath905 , @xmath906 converges to @xmath388 .
here we present some information on the essential singular point set in a @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov space .
first we need [ lem:1vertex ] let @xmath123 be a compact alexandrov space with curvature @xmath121 and with boundary .
then there exists at most one extremal point of @xmath907 .
if @xmath907 has the unique extremal point , then it must be the unique maximum point of the distance function from the boundary @xmath908 .
note that @xmath909 is a strictly concave function on @xmath123 ( @xcite ) , and therefore @xmath248 has a unique maximum point . from the concavity , it is obvious to see that any non - maximum point of @xmath907 has the space of directions whose diameter is greater than @xmath910 . [
lem : essential ] let @xmath911 be a closed subset of the essential singular point set @xmath912 of a @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov space @xmath24 satisfying the following : 1 . for any @xmath913 , either @xmath914 contains at least two elements , or it consists of only a point . in the latter case ,
@xmath32 must be an extremal point of @xmath915 2 .
@xmath916 is either empty or consists of components of @xmath29 .
then @xmath911 is extremal .
obviously for any @xmath913 , every direction @xmath917 is an essential singular point of @xmath918 .
therefore by example [ ex : exti ] and lemma [ lem:1vertex ] , we may assume that @xmath919 .
by lemma [ lem : reduct ] , it suffices to show that for any @xmath920 , @xmath914 is an extremal subset of @xmath918 . from assumption
, it suffices to consider the case when @xmath914 contains distinct elements @xmath481 and @xmath482 .
then we have @xmath921 if @xmath922 , clearly @xmath914 is extremal .
if @xmath923 , then @xmath481 and @xmath482 realize the diameter of @xmath33 , because any other point @xmath891 from @xmath481 , @xmath482 does not satisfy . in view of
, the alexandrov convexity implies that @xmath924 and @xmath925 cover @xmath33 , and hence @xmath914 is extremal . in lemma [ lem :
essential ] , the two conditions on @xmath911 are essential . for instance , let @xmath926 be a compact alexandrov surface with curvature @xmath121 such that 1 .
the radius of @xmath926 is less than or equal to @xmath927 2 .
@xmath926 contains at most one essential singular point@xmath489 1 . if @xmath926 has no essential singular point , then @xmath928 2 .
if @xmath926 has an essential singular point @xmath388 , then there is an @xmath759 with @xmath929 . for @xmath930 ,
@xmath912 is not extremal because the extremal condition does not hold at the vertex of the cone @xmath931 .
let @xmath16 be a complete alexandrov space space with curvature @xmath99 .
for a curve @xmath932\to x$ ] and a point @xmath57 , a curve @xmath933 on the @xmath107-plane @xmath934 is called a _ development _ of @xmath333 from @xmath32 if @xmath935 for some point @xmath936 .
the curve @xmath932\to x$ ] is called a _ quasigeodesic _ ( see @xcite ) if for any point @xmath57
, the development @xmath937 of @xmath333 from @xmath32 defines a convex subset bounded by @xmath938 , @xmath939 and @xmath940)$ ] for any @xmath941 .
[ prop : graph ] let @xmath24 be a @xmath4-dimensional complete alexandrov space with curvature bounded below , and let @xmath911 be a subset of @xmath942 satisfying the condition @xmath454 of lemma [ lem : essential ]
. then @xmath911 has the structure of a finite metric graph such that 1 .
every vertex of @xmath911 as a graph except the endpoints has order three@xmath489 2 .
every subarc of @xmath911 is a quasigeodesic . by lemma [ lem : essential ]
, @xmath911 is extremal .
it follows that @xmath911 is locally connected by quasigeodesics ( @xcite ) and that there exists a quasigeodesic starting at @xmath32 in a direction @xmath917 .
the uniqueness of such a quasigeodesic follows from the argument in the proof of assertion [ ass : inj ] . note that @xmath33 has at most three essential singular points ( see appendix in @xcite ) .
this completes the proof .
let @xmath123 be a compact alexandrov surface with curvature @xmath121 and with exactly three essential singular points , say @xmath272 , @xmath943 and @xmath944 .
we consider the spherical suspension @xmath945 $ ] of @xmath123 , where we make an identification @xmath946 .
@xmath16 has the essential singular point set consisting of three minimal geodesic segments joining the two poles of @xmath24 through @xmath814 .
[ ex : convex ] we construct a @xmath4-dimensional complete open alexandrov space @xmath24 with nonnegative curvature whose essential singular point set consists of a countable set with a limit as follows : first we construct a noncompact convex body @xmath947 in the @xmath948-space as follows .
let @xmath269 be a compact convex `` polygon '' on the @xmath373-plane with countable edges such that a sequence @xmath814 of consecutive vertices of @xmath275 converges to a point @xmath949 .
we denote by @xmath950 the line segment from @xmath951 to @xmath814 in @xmath275 . for a point
@xmath952 sufficiently close to the midpoint of @xmath953 , let @xmath38 be the geodesic ray in @xmath954 starting from @xmath955 in the direction to the positive @xmath105-axis .
let @xmath956 be the minimal convex set containing @xmath957 and @xmath958 .
if @xmath959 is sufficiently small , then @xmath960 is contained in @xmath961 .
finally we take the double @xmath962 .
@xmath24 has nonnegative curvature , and @xmath912 consists of the sequence @xmath814 , @xmath963 with the limit @xmath32 .
example [ ex : convex ] shows that in proposition [ prop : graph ] one can not drop the condition @xmath454 in lemma [ lem : essential ] .
next we turn to the other subject of this section , the existence of a collar neighborhood of the boundary of an alexandrov space with curvature bounded below .
[ prop : collar - general ] let @xmath147 be an alexandrov space with curvature bounded below and with nonempty boundary
. then @xmath964 has a collar neighborhood , i.e .
, an open neighborhood of @xmath964 homeomorphic to @xmath965 .
this is done by induction on @xmath91 .
the case of @xmath966 is clear .
by @xcite , it suffices to show that @xmath878 is locally collared . for any @xmath179
, @xmath967 has a collar neighborhood .
this implies that @xmath968 has a collar neighborhood .
thus there is an @xmath255 such that @xmath969 has a collar neighborhood .
since the collar neighborhood given in proposition [ prop : collar - general ] is only topological , it is not enough for our purpose .
we need a metric collar neighborhood at least when @xmath878 is compact .
we put for @xmath255 @xmath970 [ conj : collar ] let @xmath91 be any positive integer , and let @xmath147 be an @xmath91-dimensional alexandrov space with curvature bounded below and with nonempty compact boundary . then there is a positive number @xmath156 such that @xmath971 provides a collar neighborhood of @xmath964 .
the author is not certain if the method in @xcite can be applied to solve conjecture [ conj : collar ] affirmatively .
here is a conjecture related with conjecture [ conj : collar ] .
[ conj : bdyalex ] if @xmath147 is an alexandrov space with curvature @xmath972 , then so is the boundary @xmath964 ( if it is nonempty ) with respect to the length metric induced from @xmath147 .
conjecture [ conj : collar ] will be true if we come to know conjecture [ conj : bdyalex ] to be true : [ obs : collar ] if conjecture [ conj : bdyalex ] is true , then conjecture [ conj : collar ] is also true .
let @xmath973 denote the gluing @xmath974 by the assumption , @xmath975 is an alexandrov space with curvature bounded below .
it follows from @xcite that @xmath973 is also an alexandrov space with curvature bounded below .
put @xmath976 and consider @xmath977 obviously @xmath248 is regular on @xmath978 .
observation [ obs : collar ] immediately follows from @xcite .
[ thm : collar ] conjecture [ conj : collar ] is true for @xmath979 .
first note that each point @xmath32 of @xmath29 has a small spherical neighborhood homeomorphic to @xmath980 . consider the convergence @xmath981 as @xmath724 .
since @xmath982 provides a collar neighborhood of @xmath967 for small @xmath156 , it follows that @xmath983 also provides a collar neighborhood of @xmath968 .
note that @xmath984 and @xmath985 are regular on @xmath986 and @xmath987 respectively .
this ensures the existence of a positive number @xmath671 such that @xmath988 provides a collar neighborhood of @xmath989 for @xmath990 .
we take a finite covering @xmath991 of @xmath29 , where @xmath992 are chosen for @xmath993 as above .
let @xmath1 be a triangulation of @xmath29 by lipschitz curves , and take sufficiently small @xmath156 compared with @xmath994 and the sizes of the simplices of @xmath1 .
let @xmath995 denote the @xmath19-skeleton of @xmath1 .
for each @xmath996 , choose a minimal geodesic @xmath997 from @xmath32 to @xmath998 .
the disjoint union of @xmath999 provides a collar of @xmath1000 . for each edge @xmath1001 , choose a lipschitz curve @xmath1002 on @xmath998 such that 1 .
the union of @xmath1003 , @xmath1002 , @xmath997 and @xmath1004 bounds a @xmath98-disk in @xmath1005 , denoted @xmath1006 , giving a collar of @xmath1003 , satisfying @xmath1007 , where @xmath32 and @xmath821 are the endpoints of @xmath1008 2 .
if two edges @xmath1003 and @xmath1009 of @xmath1 meet at a vertex @xmath32 , then @xmath1010 .
this is possible because of the local collar structure mentioned above .
now for every @xmath98-simplex @xmath1011 of @xmath1 , let @xmath1012 be the collar of @xmath1013 constructed above .
let @xmath1014 denote a disk domain of @xmath1015 bounded by @xmath1016 .
since the union of @xmath1011 , @xmath1012 and @xmath1014 is homeomorphic to @xmath56 and locally flat , by the generalized schoenflies theorem , it bounds a closed domain homeomorphic to @xmath238 , which gives a collar of @xmath1011 extending the collar structure given by @xmath1012 .
thus we obtain a collar structure on @xmath1017 .
let a sequence of complete @xmath0-dimensional pointed riemannian manifolds @xmath425 with @xmath426 converge to a @xmath4-dimensional pointed alexandrov space @xmath863 . throughout this section , we assume that @xmath32 is an interior point of @xmath24 . the purpose of this section is to construct an @xmath8-action on a small perturbation of @xmath592 , for a sufficiently small @xmath595 depending only on @xmath32 . by fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ]
, we have a locally trivial @xmath8-bundle @xmath1018 which is @xmath199-approximation , @xmath615 , where @xmath1019 is an open subset of @xmath15 and @xmath1020 is sufficiently small .
our first step is to prove that @xmath1021 is a seifert fibred space over @xmath1022 .
let @xmath1023 and consider @xmath1024 for every @xmath1025 .
we take a point @xmath1026 gromov - hausdorff close to @xmath1027 .
[ lem : bdytorus ] there exist positive numbers @xmath1028 and @xmath1029 such that if @xmath1030 and @xmath1031 , then for some @xmath1032 and @xmath1033 sufficiently close to @xmath671 and @xmath137 respectively , there exists a homeomorphism @xmath1034\times [ \delta_1,\delta_2])\to t^2 \times [ r_1,r_2]\times [ \delta_1,\delta_2]$ ] which respects @xmath1035 , that is , @xmath1036 , where @xmath1037 is the projection to the factor @xmath1038\times [ \delta_1 , \delta_2]$ ] . in particular , @xmath1039 is homeomorphic to @xmath45 .
note that @xmath1040 is regular near @xmath1041 for @xmath1042 .
by @xcite , @xmath1043 and we have a homeomorphism @xmath1044\times [ \delta_1,\delta_2])\to s^1\times [ r_1,r_2]\times [ \delta_1,\delta_2]$ ] which respects @xmath1040 for some @xmath1032 and @xmath1033 sufficiently close to @xmath671 and @xmath137 respectively .
since @xmath1045\times [ \delta_1,\delta_2])$ ] does not meet @xmath1046 , fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] together with a standard morse theory for distance functions yields @xmath1047 \times [ \delta_1,\delta_2 ] ) \\ & \simeq \mbox{$s^1$-bundle over $ ( d_p , d_q)^{-1}([r_1,r_2]\times [ \delta_1,\delta_2])$ } , \\ & \simeq \mbox{($s^1$-trivial bundle over $ s^1)\times [ r_1,r_2]\times [ \delta_1,\delta_2]$}.\end{aligned}\ ] ] from the regularity of @xmath1035 , we have the required homeomorphism .
recall that @xmath1048 for @xmath1049 .
[ lem : bdysolid ] @xmath1050 for sufficiently small @xmath671 , @xmath1023 and large @xmath19 .
it follows from lemma [ lem : u_1 ] that @xmath1051 is homeomorphic to either @xmath240 or @xmath238 for any sufficiently large @xmath19 .
hence the result follows from lemma [ lem : bdytorus ] .
[ prop : bigdiam ] if @xmath32 is an interior point of @xmath24 and if @xmath1052 , then @xmath1053 .
this follows from lemmas [ lem : bdysolid ] and [ lem : dim3balltop ] . since @xmath1054 is finite for every @xmath129 , @xmath1055 is the union of finitely many geodesic rays starting from @xmath118 . in view of the convergence
@xmath1056 as @xmath724 , it is possible to take a small positive number @xmath1057 and a finite subset @xmath1058 of @xmath1059 for any sufficiently small @xmath1060 such that 1 .
@xmath1061 covers @xmath1062 2 .
@xmath1063 does not meet @xmath1064 3 .
@xmath1065 is disjoint . since @xmath33 is topologically regular , @xmath1066 is homeomorphic to @xmath53 for a small @xmath156 .
let @xmath1067 be the direction with @xmath1068 , and take @xmath1069 with @xmath1070 .
[ lem : singslice ] let @xmath1057 be as above . then there exists a positive number @xmath1028 such that for every @xmath1071 we have a three - dimensional submanifold @xmath1072 of @xmath15 , a small perturbation of @xmath1073 , satisfying the following : 1 . @xmath1074 as @xmath1075 2 .
@xmath1072 is a fibred solid torus over @xmath1066 such that 1 .
@xmath1076 and the fibre structure on @xmath1077 induced from that of @xmath1072 is compatible to the @xmath8-bundle structure on @xmath1078 defined by @xmath1079 2 .
the seifert invariants of the singular fibre in @xmath1072 @xmath422if it exists@xmath423 do not exceed @xmath1080 3 .
let @xmath1081 and let @xmath1082 denote the closed domain bounded by @xmath1083 containing @xmath814 .
then @xmath1084 .
in particular , @xmath1083 is a seifert fibred space over @xmath1022 .
first note that both @xmath796-flow curves and @xmath1085-flow curves are transversal to @xmath1086 . hence using some @xmath1085-flow curves starting from @xmath1086
, we can extend @xmath1086 to a three - dimensional submanifold @xmath1087 such that 1 .
@xmath1088 is the disjoint union of @xmath1086 and @xmath1089 2 .
@xmath1090 through @xmath1085-flow curves @xmath489 3 .
@xmath796-flow curves are transversal to @xmath1091 4 . the hausdorff distance between @xmath1087 and @xmath1092 is less than @xmath1093 , where @xmath1094 .
we let @xmath1072 denote the union of @xmath1087 and @xmath1095 .
it follows from @xmath525 that @xmath1096 , where @xmath1082 is defined as above . by @xmath454 and @xmath463 , @xmath1097 .
therefore from construction , we only have to prove the conclusion ( 2)-(b ) for @xmath1072 chosen in this way .
let @xmath1098 denote the compact domain consisting of the flow curves of @xmath796 through @xmath1099 and contained in @xmath1100 for @xmath1101 and @xmath1102 .
we may assume that @xmath1098 converges to a compact domain @xmath1103 containing @xmath1104 .
since @xmath1105 converges to @xmath1106 , we have @xmath1107 where @xmath1108 ( for any fixed @xmath671 ) .
therefore for a sequence @xmath1109 as @xmath1110 , we see @xmath1111 which converges to zero if we take a sequence depending on @xmath1112 in such a way that @xmath1113 and @xmath1114 and @xmath1115 . let @xmath1116 be the universal cover and @xmath1117 the deck transformation group of it .
passing to a subsequence , we may assume that @xmath1118 converges to a triplet @xmath1119with respect to the pointed equivariant gromov - hausdorff convergence , where @xmath160 is a complete noncompact alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature such that @xmath1120 is isometric to @xmath1121 with @xmath1122 .
in a way similar to section 4 of @xcite , we have 1 .
@xmath160 is isometric to a product @xmath1123 ; 2 .
@xmath847 is isomorphic to @xmath1124 , where @xmath1125 and @xmath1126 from which we obtain a fibred solid torus structure on @xmath1099 of type @xmath1127 for some @xmath1128 , compatible to the fibres of @xmath64 on the boundary . from the construction of @xmath1072 , the fibre structure on @xmath1099
defines a fibre structure on @xmath1072 of the same type as @xmath1099 , compatible to the fibres of @xmath64 on the boundary .
let @xmath1129 be the seifert fibration given in lemma [ lem : singslice ] , [ prop : bdyseif ] there exists a positive number @xmath1130 such that for any @xmath1131 and sufficiently large @xmath19 the seifert fibration @xmath1129 satisfies that 1 .
the number of singular fibres is at most two ; 2 .
for any singular fibre over a point @xmath1027 , there is an essential singular point @xmath388 of @xmath33 with @xmath1132 such that the seifert invariants of the singular fibre do not exceed @xmath1133 3 .
@xmath714 comes from some @xmath8-action on @xmath1083 . in view of lemma [ lem : singslice ] , for the proof of proposition [ prop : bdyseif ] , it suffices to check @xmath454 and @xmath525 .
we need the following [ prop : topmfd ] suppose that a sequence of pointed complete orientable riemannian @xmath0-manifolds @xmath425 collapses to a pointed alexandrov @xmath4-space @xmath863 under @xmath9
. then @xmath24 is a topological manifold . in view of stability theorem [ thm : stability ]
, it suffices to show that @xmath33 is homeomorphic to @xmath56 or @xmath53 .
if @xmath1134 , then @xmath33 is an alexandrov surface with curvature @xmath121 and with nonempty boundary , and hence it is homeomorphic to @xmath53 . if @xmath1135 , then @xmath33 is homeomorphic to either @xmath56 or @xmath65 .
suppose @xmath1136 .
by lemma [ lem : singslice ] , we have a seifert fibration @xmath1137 .
note that the number @xmath39 of the singular orbits of @xmath714 satisfies @xmath1138 .
otherwise , the universal cover @xmath1139 of @xmath33 would contain more than three essential singular points .
this is a contradiction to the curvature condition that @xmath1140 has curvature @xmath121 ( see for instance appendix in @xcite ) .
if @xmath1141 , then @xmath1083 is an @xmath8-bundle over @xmath65 , denoted @xmath1142 .
this is a contradiction to lemma [ lem : dim3balltop ] . if @xmath1143 , then @xmath1083 is homeomorphic to @xmath1142 or a prism manifold ( see @xcite for instance )
this is also a contradiction to lemma [ lem : dim3balltop ] . .
by corollary [ cor : dim3top ] , @xmath592 is homeomorphic to either @xmath838 or @xmath578 . if @xmath1053 , @xcite , p.459 , shows that the number @xmath39 of singular fibres of @xmath1144 satisfies that @xmath1141 or @xmath98 . if @xmath1145 , then the seifert bundle @xmath1146 has at most two singular fibres ( see @xcite ) . in either case
, @xmath714 comes from an @xmath8-action on @xmath1083 ( see @xcite ) .
this completes the proof of proposition [ prop : bdyseif ] .
our next step is to construct an @xmath8-action on @xmath1082 extending @xmath714 .
let us begin with the following lemma , which easily follows from the convergence @xmath1147 and the finiteness of @xmath1054 for any @xmath129 .
[ lem : covers ] for any @xmath1148 , let @xmath1149 be as in lemma [ lem : singslice ] . then there exist a positive integer @xmath1150 and @xmath1060 such that for some @xmath1151 , 1 .
@xmath1152 2 .
@xmath1153 does not meet @xmath1154 3 .
@xmath1155 is disjoint . for each @xmath1156 and for @xmath1157 $ ] ,
@xmath1158 , we consider @xmath1159 fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] enables us to take a closed domain @xmath1160 such that 1 .
@xmath1161 converges to @xmath1162 under the convergence @xmath867 ; 2 .
@xmath1163 coincides with @xmath1164 .
take @xmath1165 close to @xmath1166 , and let @xmath1167 be a smooth approximation of the distance function @xmath1168 .
we consider @xmath1169 [ lem : af ] @xmath1170 . by using the flow curves of a gradient vector field for @xmath1167
, we have @xmath1171 by lemma [ lem : bdysolid ] together with the flow curves of a gradient - like vector field for @xmath796 , @xmath1172 and hence @xmath1170 .
now we construct an @xmath8-action on @xmath1082 extending @xmath714 .
let us first consider _ case _
i. @xmath1053 . in this case
, the number @xmath39 of singular fibres of @xmath1173 satisfies that @xmath1141 or @xmath98 .
if @xmath1141 , @xmath714 is a trivial bundle and extends to a trivial bundle @xmath1174 ( compare lemma [ lem : extend ] below ) .
thus we obtain a free @xmath8-action on @xmath1082 whose orbit space is homeomorphic to @xmath594 , as the collapsing structure on @xmath1082 . before considering the essential case @xmath1175 , we need the following elementary lemma on extending @xmath8-actions .
probably this is obvious for specialist , but for the lack of references we shall give a proof .
let @xmath1176 denote the @xmath8-action on the solid torus @xmath240 given by the canonical fibred solid torus structure of type @xmath1127 .
namely , @xmath1176 comes from the standard @xmath1177-action on @xmath240 generated by @xmath1178 we consider the canonical orientation of @xmath1179 , and the orientation on @xmath1180 as boundary .
[ lem : extend ] consider an @xmath8-action @xmath1181 on @xmath1182 such that * @xmath1181 defines an @xmath8-action , denoted @xmath1183 , on @xmath1184 , equivariant to @xmath1185 * @xmath1181 defines a free @xmath8-action on @xmath1186 .
then the following holds : 1 .
@xmath1181 extends to a locally smooth @xmath8-action @xmath440 on @xmath1187 2 .
any such an extension @xmath440 is equivariant to the product action @xmath1188 3 .
if we are also given an @xmath8-action , denoted @xmath1189 , on @xmath1190 equivariant to @xmath1191 and compatible to @xmath1181 on the boundary , then @xmath1192 extends to a locally smooth @xmath8-action on @xmath1179 .
we first show ( 3 ) .
let @xmath1193 , @xmath1194 , be a subsolid torus of @xmath1195 invariant under the action of @xmath1196 .
choose a closed domain @xmath1197 of @xmath1198 homeomorphic to @xmath1179 such that @xmath1199 .
let @xmath1200 be a homeomorphism , and @xmath1201 , @xmath1202 .
let @xmath1203 and @xmath1204 be equivariant homeomorphisms . from the assumption ,
@xmath1205 is isotopic the identity , where @xmath1206 and @xmath1207 is the natural identification .
let @xmath1208 be an isotopy between @xmath1209 and the identity ( @xmath1210 ) .
then @xmath1211 gives a continuous family of homeomorphisms @xmath1212 joining @xmath1213 and @xmath1214 . using @xmath1215 , we can extend the orbit structure on @xmath1216 to that on @xmath1197 .
thus we have an @xmath8-action @xmath1217 on @xmath1197 extending @xmath1218 and @xmath1219 .
note @xmath1220 , where @xmath1221 is an annulus of @xmath1222 such that @xmath1223 is an open disk . from now on we identify @xmath1224 with @xmath1225 .
now we have a free @xmath8-action @xmath1226 on @xmath1227 given by @xmath1181 , @xmath1189 and @xmath1217 .
since @xmath1226 gives rise to a trivial bundle @xmath1228 , it provides an imbedding @xmath1229 such that 1 .
@xmath680 leaves @xmath1230 invariant for any @xmath1231 2 .
@xmath1232 gives the @xmath1226-orbit for any @xmath1233 3 .
@xmath1234 is a section to @xmath1226 .
therefore we have a homeomorphism @xmath1235 where @xmath568 is an open interval .
extend the section @xmath680 to an embedding @xmath1236 so that the @xmath1226-orbits meet the @xmath847-image only with the @xmath680-image .
then @xmath1237 extends to a homeomorphism @xmath1238 since @xmath1239 extends to a homeomorphism @xmath1240 we can extend @xmath1226 to an @xmath8-action on @xmath1225 , proving ( 3 ) .
\(1 ) is immediate from ( 3 ) if one extend @xmath1241 to an @xmath8-action @xmath1189 on @xmath1190 which is equivariant to @xmath1191 .
note that a nontrivial seifert bundle @xmath1242 is essentially unique .
it has two singular orbits , and the seifert invariants are @xmath519 and @xmath1243 for some @xmath1244 ( see @xcite , p.459 ) .
let @xmath440 be any extension of @xmath1181 to an @xmath8-action on @xmath1179 . from the above argument , @xmath1245 consists of a segment along which seifert invariants are @xmath1127 .
obviously @xmath1246 is empty .
therefore proposition [ prop : circ - class ] yields that @xmath440 must be equivariant to @xmath1247 .
[ prop : locseif ] suppose that @xmath1053 and @xmath1175 .
then there exists a seifert fibration @xmath1248 such that 1 .
@xmath1249 on @xmath1250 ; 2 .
@xmath1251 on @xmath1083 ; 3 .
the singular fibres of @xmath1252 are contained in the union of two of @xmath1253 , say , @xmath1254 ; 4 .
the singular locus @xmath1255 of @xmath1252 is a connected quasi - geodesic containing @xmath32 in its interior and consisting of essential singular points of @xmath24 ; 5 .
the seifert invariants of the singular fibre of @xmath1252 do not exceed @xmath1256 where @xmath1257 , @xmath1258 , are the directions at @xmath32 represented by @xmath1255 identify @xmath1259 .
now we have the @xmath8-action , say @xmath1260 , on @xmath1261 given by proposition [ prop : bdyseif ] .
we also have the @xmath8-action on @xmath1262 coming from the @xmath8-bundle structure .
note that those two actions are compatible on the intersection @xmath1263 .
using lemma [ lem : extend ] , we extend those @xmath8-actions to one on @xmath1179 which is equivariant to the product action of the action @xmath1260 on @xmath1190 and the trivial action on @xmath1264 .
thus we have extended the @xmath8-bundle @xmath1265 to a seifert bundle @xmath1266 .
next , extend it to a seifert bundle @xmath1267 as follows .
since @xmath1175 , the seifert invariants of the seifert bundle @xmath1268 , the restriction of @xmath1269 , are expressed as @xmath1270 and @xmath1271 . therefore this seifert bundle is isomorphic as a fibred space to the one on @xmath1272 induced from the product action @xmath1273 on @xmath1274 , where @xmath1275 denotes the fibred solid torus of type @xmath1270 .
this provides a seifert bundle @xmath1276 such that 1 .
it is equivalent to the product @xmath1274 ; 2 .
the seifert bundle structures on @xmath1277 and @xmath1278 @xmath1279 are compatible on their boundaries ; the properties @xmath454 , @xmath463 and @xmath525 are now obvious .
to prove @xmath1280 and @xmath1281 , we first show [ ass : surj ] there exist @xmath1282 and @xmath1283 such that @xmath1284 contains an essential singular point for each @xmath1285 and @xmath1286 .
suppose that @xmath1287 does not meet @xmath912 for some @xmath1288 .
then @xmath1289 has an @xmath8-bundle structure compatible with @xmath64 .
this is a contradiction to lemma [ lem : extend ] .
[ ass : inj ] there exist @xmath1282 and @xmath1283 such that @xmath1290 for any @xmath1291 with @xmath101 sufficiently close to @xmath100 and for each @xmath1286 .
suppose the assertion does not hold .
then there would exist sequences @xmath1292 , @xmath819 of @xmath1293 with @xmath1294 and @xmath1295 such that 1 .
@xmath1296 for some @xmath1297 2 .
@xmath1298 and @xmath1299 .
we may assume that @xmath1300 converges to a space @xmath1301 , where @xmath1302 is isometric to the tangent cone @xmath120 .
putting @xmath1303 , we consider any limit @xmath1304 of another rescaling @xmath1305 , where @xmath1306 is isometric to a product @xmath782 .
let @xmath1307 denote the limit of @xmath819 under this convergence .
since @xmath1308 , and since @xmath1309 , where @xmath1310 is the projection , @xmath785 contains two essential singular points with distance , say @xmath1311 .
thus @xmath785 must be isometric to the double @xmath1312\times [ 0,\infty))$ ] .
in particular , @xmath1313 while @xmath1314 .
this contradicts lemma [ lem : expanding2 ] . from assertions
[ ass : surj ] and [ ass : inj ] , @xmath1315 defines a continuous curve , denoted @xmath1316 , through @xmath32 , such that @xmath1317 contains at least two elements for any @xmath1318 . therefore @xmath1316 is a quasigeodesic by proposition [ prop : graph ] .
obviously we can arrange the fibre structure defined by @xmath1252 so that the singular locus @xmath1255 of @xmath1252 coincides with @xmath1316 .
@xmath1281 follows from proposition [ prop : bdyseif ] .
this completes the proof of proposition [ prop : locseif ] .
now we consider the other case .
_ case _ ii . @xmath1145 . in this case , by @xcite , the seifert bundle @xmath1146 is actually given by an @xmath8-action equivariant to the restriction of a canonical action @xmath1319 on @xmath471 to @xmath1320 for suitable relatively prime integers @xmath1321 . from lemma
[ lem : adj - inv ] , the seifert invariants of @xmath1322 have forms @xmath1323 and @xmath1324 with @xmath1325 [ prop : lochopf ] suppose @xmath1145
. then 1 .
@xmath32 is an extremal point of @xmath24 ; 2 .
there is an @xmath1326 such that for every @xmath1327 we have a locally smooth @xmath8-action @xmath25 on @xmath1082 extending @xmath714 such that the seifert bundle @xmath1328 given by @xmath25 satisfies the following : 1 .
@xmath1329 on @xmath1330 ; 2 . the singular locus of @xmath1252 @xmath422if it exists@xmath423 extends to a continuous quasi - geodesic @xmath1255 containing @xmath32 .
@xmath1255 is contained in the union of at most two of @xmath1331 s , and consisting of essential singular points of @xmath24 ; 3 .
@xmath25 is equivariant to the canonical action @xmath1332 for some relatively prime integers @xmath1333 and @xmath1334 , where @xmath1335 for some @xmath1336 and at least one of them is a direction of @xmath1255 at @xmath32 , and the other is another direction of @xmath1255 if it exists .
@xmath454 follows from proposition [ prop : bigdiam ] .
@xmath463-(a ) , ( b ) are similar to proposition [ prop : locseif ] .
@xmath463-(c ) follows from an argument similar to proposition [ prop : bdyseif ] .
let a sequence of closed orientable @xmath0-dimensional riemannian manifolds @xmath15 with @xmath426 converge to a @xmath4-dimensional compact alexandrov space @xmath24 without boundary .
by fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] , we have a locally trivial @xmath8-bundle @xmath1337 which is an @xmath199-approximation , @xmath615 , where @xmath1019 is an open subset of @xmath15 .
the purpose of this section is to construct a globally defined locally smooth , local @xmath8-action on @xmath15 .
[ thm : patch ] suppose that @xmath15 collapses to a @xmath4-dimensional compact alexandrov space @xmath24 without boundary under @xmath9 .
then there exists a locally smooth , local @xmath8-action @xmath25 on @xmath15 satisfying the following@xmath49 1 .
@xmath1338 2 .
we have an inclusion @xmath1339 3 . for each @xmath1340 , there are @xmath1341 close to @xmath1342 and @xmath1343 independent of @xmath19 such that @xmath1344 is @xmath25-invariant and @xmath1345 is equivariantly homeomorphic to @xmath1346 for some relatively prime integers @xmath1321 satisfying @xmath1347 where @xmath1348 and @xmath1349 are described as in proposition [ prop : lochopf ] ( 2)@xmath489 4 .
each connected component @xmath1350 of the singular locus @xmath1351 is either a periodic quasi - geodesic in @xmath1352 or a quasi - geodesic path or loop in @xmath24 connecting some points of @xmath1353 5 .
the order of the isotropy subgroup along every component @xmath1354 of the exceptional locus @xmath1245 does not exceed @xmath1355 where @xmath1356 is a direction at @xmath100 defined by @xmath1354 .
theorem [ thm : patch ] @xmath463 means that for any fixed point @xmath1357 , there corresponds a unique extremal point @xmath1358 which is gromov - hausdorff close to @xmath1359 .
[ ex : s^4 ] for relatively prime integers @xmath580 , @xmath342 , let us consider the restriction of the canonical action @xmath1360 on @xmath471 to @xmath1361 .
this naturally extends to an isometric @xmath8-action @xmath1362 on @xmath1363 , the spherical suspension over @xmath1361 , with two fixed points , say @xmath1364 and @xmath1365 .
let @xmath24 be the quotient space @xmath1366 , which is the spherical suspension over @xmath1367 .
by @xcite , we have a sequence of metrics @xmath738 on @xmath5 such that 1 .
the sectional curvature @xmath1368 has a uniform lower bound ; 2 .
@xmath1369 collapses to @xmath24 .
note that 1 .
the diameters of the spaces ( say @xmath123 ) of directions at the poles of @xmath24 are both equal to @xmath910 ; 2 .
@xmath123 has at most two singular points , say @xmath388 , @xmath759 , realizing the diameter of it , where @xmath1370 the singular locus @xmath1371 of @xmath1362 is a simple closed loop ( resp . a simple arc ) joining the two poles if @xmath1372 and @xmath1373 ( resp .
if just one of @xmath1374 and @xmath1375 is greater than @xmath84 ) . [ ex : cp^2 ] consider the @xmath8-action @xmath440 on @xmath1376 given by @xmath1377 = [ z^{a_0}z_0:z^{a_1}z_1:z^{a_2}z_2],\ ] ] for suitably chosen integers @xmath1333 , @xmath1378 .
we assume that @xmath1379 and @xmath1380 are relatively prime , where @xmath19 is understood in @xmath1381 .
note that @xmath1246 consists of @xmath1382 $ ] , @xmath1383 $ ] , and @xmath1384 $ ] .
the action @xmath440 induces actions equivariant to the canonical actions of type @xmath1385 on a neighborhood of @xmath1292 . for an invariant metric @xmath680 on @xmath1376 ,
take a sequence of metrics @xmath738 on @xmath1376 such that 1 .
the sectional curvature @xmath1368 has a uniform lower bound ; 2 .
@xmath1386 converges to the quotient space @xmath1387 .
note that 1 .
@xmath1388 , where @xmath1389 is the image of @xmath1292 under the projection @xmath1390 ; 2 .
@xmath1391 has exactly two singular points , say @xmath1392 , @xmath1393 realizing the diameter of @xmath1391 , where @xmath1394 now suppose @xmath1395 for instance .
then the singular locus @xmath1396 is a simple arc joining @xmath1364 and @xmath1365 through @xmath1397 . if @xmath1379 and @xmath1380 are relatively prime for every @xmath19 in @xmath1381 , then @xmath1398 is a simple closed loop joining @xmath1397 , @xmath1364 and @xmath1365 .
[ ex : s^2s^2 ] let @xmath1399 be the unit sphere and consider the @xmath8-action @xmath440 on @xmath1400 given by @xmath1401 for relatively prime integers @xmath580 and @xmath342 , where @xmath1402 , @xmath1403 , @xmath1258 .
the action @xmath440 induces actions equivariant to the canonical actions of type @xmath1404 on a neighborhood of each of the four fixed point of @xmath440 , up to orientation .
we can take a sequence of metrics @xmath738 on @xmath1400 such that 1 .
the sectional curvature @xmath1368 has a uniform lower bound ; 2 .
@xmath1405 converges to the quotient space @xmath1406 .
note that @xmath24 is an alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature having no boundary . the singular locus @xmath1396 consists of @xmath1407 a simple loop joining those four fixed points if @xmath1408 , @xmath1409 two segments joining those four fixed points if just one of @xmath1374 and @xmath1375 is equal to @xmath84 , @xmath1410 those four fixed points if both @xmath1374 and @xmath1375 are equal to @xmath84 . in view of examples [ ex : s^4 ] , [ ex : cp^2 ] and [ ex : s^2s^2 ] , taking connected sum around fixed points , we can construct an @xmath8-action on every connected sum of @xmath5 , @xmath1411 and @xmath7 whose orbit space @xmath24 has no boundary .
recall that for each @xmath1412 , there are sufficiently small @xmath1149 and @xmath1060 for which we have a locally smooth @xmath8-action @xmath1413 on @xmath1082 for sufficiently large @xmath19 , where @xmath1414 is close to @xmath32 . to prove theorem [ thm : patch ] , we patch those @xmath8-actions and a local @xmath8-action defined by @xmath64 to obtain a globally defined locally smooth , local @xmath8-action .
note that if @xmath32 is an isolated point of @xmath1046 , we have nothing to do for the patching . for any non - isolated point @xmath32 of @xmath1046 , let @xmath1057 and @xmath1415 be so small that 1 .
@xmath1416 covers @xmath1417 , where @xmath1418 is defined as in the previous section ; 2 .
@xmath1419 does not meet @xmath1154 3 .
@xmath1420 is disjoint . from the compactness of @xmath1046 ,
take @xmath1421 such that @xmath1422 , where @xmath1423 and @xmath1424 are defined as above .
we assume that @xmath1425 .
note that if @xmath1426 with @xmath1427 , then @xmath1428 . hence considering the covering @xmath1429 of @xmath1046 in stead of @xmath1430 , and removing some of @xmath1431 if necessary
, we may assume that @xmath1432 does not contain @xmath1433 for every @xmath1434 .
in particular , @xmath1435 is disjoint .
let @xmath1341 be a point close to @xmath1436 .
by fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] , we have an @xmath8-bundle structure @xmath1437 on @xmath1438 . on each @xmath1439
, we have the structure @xmath1440 of locally smooth @xmath8-action @xmath1441 given by proposition [ prop : locseif ] or [ prop : lochopf ] .
we have to patch all of those structures @xmath1437 and @xmath1440 together to obtain a globally defined structure on @xmath15 of locally smooth , local @xmath8-action as stated in theorem [ thm : patch ] .
let @xmath1442 , @xmath1443 , be as defined right after lemma [ lem : covers ] for @xmath1436 .
now we are going to patch @xmath1437 , @xmath1440 and @xmath1444 assuming @xmath1445 to be nonempty with @xmath1446 .
if @xmath1445 does not meet @xmath1046 , there is no need to patch @xmath1441 and @xmath1447 on the intersection @xmath1448 .
hence assume that there is a point @xmath100 in the intersection of @xmath1449 , @xmath1450 and @xmath1046 .
we consider the following two cases depending on the value @xmath1451 . _ case _ i. @xmath1452
. then @xmath1433 must be contained in some @xmath1453 with @xmath1454 . extending the @xmath8-action on @xmath1455 to one on @xmath1456 in a similar way
, we can borrow the @xmath8-action structure on @xmath1456 as a compatible @xmath8-action structure on @xmath1450 .
see figure 2 _ case _ ii . @xmath1457 . in this case
, we actually have @xmath1458 if @xmath1459 , then taking @xmath1460 slightly larger if necessary , we may assume that @xmath1461 . therefore we can remove @xmath1462 from @xmath1463 , and we may assume @xmath1464 .
it follows that @xmath1465 is sufficiently small or sufficiently close to @xmath1466 . in the former case , taking @xmath1460 slightly larger if necessary , we may assume that @xmath1461 .
therefore we can remove @xmath1462 from @xmath1463 as before . in the latter case , assuming @xmath1467 ( the other case is proved similarly ) , we have @xmath1468 see figure 3 .
we perturb @xmath1440 to a new locally smooth @xmath8-action @xmath1469 on @xmath1470 as follows : we let @xmath1469 coincide * with @xmath1444 on @xmath1471 and @xmath489 * with @xmath1437 on the complement of @xmath1472 in @xmath1473 @xmath1474 .
note that this is well - defined .
using @xmath1475 together with lemma [ lem : extend ] , we can extend @xmath1469 to a locally smooth @xmath8-action on the complement of @xmath1476 in @xmath1477 , which is compatible with @xmath1440 on @xmath1478 .
thus we obtain the required locally smooth @xmath8-action on the union of @xmath1479 and @xmath1480 , which is compatible with @xmath1469 , @xmath1437 and @xmath1444 . repeating this local patching procedure finitely many times ,
we obtain the global collapsing structure and complete the proof of theorem [ thm : patch ] .
in this section , we consider the situation that a sequence of closed orientable @xmath0-dimensional riemannian manifolds @xmath15 with @xmath426 converge to a @xmath4-dimensional compact alexandrov space @xmath24 with boundary .
we construct a globally defined locally smooth , local @xmath8-action on @xmath15 to complete the proof of theorem [ thm : dim3 ] .
[ thm : patchwbdy ] suppose that @xmath15 collapses to a @xmath4-dimensional compact alexandrov space @xmath24 with boundary under @xmath9 .
then there exists a locally smooth , local @xmath8-action @xmath25 on @xmath15 satisfying the following : 1 .
@xmath1481 ; 2 .
@xmath1482 coincides with the union of @xmath29 and a subset of @xmath1483 , say @xmath1484 3 . for each @xmath1485 , there is an @xmath1343 independent of @xmath19 such that if @xmath1486 denotes the @xmath25-fixed point corresponding to @xmath1342 , then @xmath1344 is @xmath25-invariant and @xmath1345 is equivariantly homeomorphic to @xmath1487 for some relatively prime integers @xmath1321 satisfying @xmath1347 where @xmath1348 and @xmath1349 are described as in proposition [ prop : lochopf]@xmath489 4 .
each connected component @xmath1488 of the singular locus of @xmath25 in @xmath31 is either a periodic quasi - geodesic in @xmath1489 or a quasi - geodesic path or loop in @xmath31 connecting some of @xmath1490 5 .
the order of the isotropy subgroup along every component @xmath1354 of the exceptional locus @xmath1245 does not exceed @xmath1491 where @xmath1356 is a direction at @xmath100 defined by @xmath1354 .
[ ex : s^4wbdy ] let us consider the @xmath8-action @xmath440 on @xmath1492 , where @xmath8 acts canonically only on @xmath8-factors and @xmath53-factors of @xmath1493 and @xmath1494 respectively
. then @xmath1495 and @xmath1496 .
fixing a @xmath440-invariant metric @xmath680 on @xmath5 , by @xcite , we have a sequence of metrics @xmath738 on @xmath5 such that @xmath1369 collapses to @xmath1497 under a lower sectional curvature bound . [ ex : cp^2wbdy ] consider the @xmath53-bundle @xmath1498 over @xmath56 with the euler number @xmath511 and choose a fibre metric on @xmath1498 whose fibre is isometric to the unit disk @xmath1499 .
let us consider the @xmath8-action @xmath440 on @xmath1500 such that the action of @xmath440 coincides with the canonical action @xmath1501 on @xmath471 and @xmath440 acts on each @xmath1502 , @xmath1503 , as the hopf fibration .
then @xmath1504 is the disjoint union of the origin of @xmath471 and the zero - section of @xmath1498 , and @xmath1505 . for an invariant metric @xmath680 on @xmath1376
, we obtain a sequence of metrics @xmath738 on @xmath1376 such that @xmath1386 collapses to the quotient space @xmath1506 under a lower sectional curvature bound .
[ ex : s^2s^2wbdy ] let us consider the @xmath8-action on @xmath7 such that @xmath8 acts only on one @xmath56-factor
. then @xmath1507 and the fixed point set is the disjoint union of two copies of @xmath56 .
for an invariant metric @xmath680 on @xmath7 , we obtain a sequence of metrics @xmath738 on @xmath7 such that the sectional curvature @xmath1368 has a uniform lower bound and @xmath1508 collapses to the quotient space @xmath1509 .
in section [ sec : dim3nobdyglob ] , we have constructed @xmath8-action on every connected sum of @xmath5 , @xmath1411 and @xmath7 whose orbit space @xmath24 has no boundary . in view of examples [ ex :
s^4wbdy ] , [ ex : cp^2wbdy ] and [ ex : s^2s^2wbdy ] together with the construction in the previous section , taking connected sum around fixed points , we can construct an @xmath8-action on every connected sum of @xmath5 , @xmath1411 and @xmath7 whose orbit space @xmath24 has nonempty boundary .
let us go back to the situation of theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] .
take a small @xmath188 such that @xmath1510 provides a collar neighborhood of @xmath29 ( theorem [ thm : collar ] ) . by theorem [ thm :
patch ] , we obtain a closed domain @xmath1511 of @xmath15 such that 1 .
it collapses to @xmath1512 ; 2 .
there exists a locally smooth , local @xmath8-action on @xmath1511 such that @xmath1513 .
let @xmath1514 denote the closure of @xmath1515 .
the rest of this section is almost devoted to prove [ thm : d2along ] @xmath1514 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath1516 compatible with the @xmath8-bundle structure of @xmath1517 induced from the local @xmath8-action on @xmath1511 . from theorem [ thm : d2along ] , @xmath15 is a gluing of @xmath1511 equipped with the local @xmath8-action and a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath1516 , where the @xmath8-orbit over a point @xmath1518 is identified with the boundary of the @xmath53-fibre over @xmath100 .
therefore it is straightforward to construct a desired globally defined , locally smooth , local @xmath8-action on @xmath15 satisfying the conclusions of theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] .
a key in the proof of theorem [ thm : d2along ] is the following lemma .
[ lem : bdyball ] 1 . for a point @xmath1519 ,
take @xmath1414 with @xmath1520 .
then there exists a positive number @xmath1521 such that @xmath1522 is homeomorphic to @xmath578 for every @xmath1523 and each sufficiently large @xmath1327 , where @xmath1524 2 .
there are no singular orbits over @xmath1525 , namely @xmath1517 is an @xmath8-bundle over @xmath1525 .
by theorem [ cor : dim3top ] , @xmath1526 we have to exclude the second possibility in .
choose a @xmath1527-net @xmath1528 of @xmath1529 and take a finite subset @xmath1530 converging to @xmath1528 , and suppose that @xmath1531 and @xmath1532 .
consider a smooth approximation @xmath1533 since @xmath1534 is regular on @xmath1535)$ ] , where @xmath1536 , @xmath64 is also regular on @xmath1537)$ ] .
[ slem : sph - int ] there exist positive numbers @xmath1128 and @xmath671 with @xmath1538 such that for any sufficiently large @xmath1539 we have a closed domain @xmath1540 satisfying 1 .
@xmath1540 converges to @xmath1541 under the convergence @xmath867 ; 2 .
@xmath1542 is homeomorphic to a seifert bundle over @xmath1543 having at most one singular orbit ; 3 .
@xmath1540 is homeomorphic to @xmath1544 .
take @xmath188 such that @xmath1545 does not meet @xmath1546 .
then in view of the convergence @xmath1056 as @xmath724 , we have such an @xmath1547 that @xmath1548 does not meet @xmath1549 for any @xmath1523 .
note that @xmath1550 with @xmath1551 , @xmath615 , and that @xmath33 satisfies the assumption of lemma [ lem:1vertex ] .
hence if @xmath671 is sufficiently small and @xmath19 is sufficiently large @xmath1552 , theorem [ thm : patch ] applied to @xmath1553 gives a closed domain @xmath1540 satisfying @xmath454 and @xmath463 . using @xmath64-flow curves , we can slightly deform @xmath1540 to a closed domain @xmath1554 in such a way that it is @xmath795-flow - invariant .
therefore @xmath1554 is homeomorphic to @xmath1555 , yielding @xmath525 .
putting @xmath1556 to be the closure of @xmath1557 , we next investigate the topology of @xmath1558 . in a way similar to sublemma [ slem : sph - int ]
( 3 ) , we obtain @xmath1559 [ slem : sph - bdy ] @xmath1558 is a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath1560 which is compatible with the @xmath8-bundle over @xmath1561 induced from the fibre structure on @xmath1542 .
in particular @xmath1558 is homeomorphic to @xmath1562 . for a small @xmath1563
we take finitely many points @xmath1564 of @xmath967 satisfying 1 .
@xmath1565 is adjacent to @xmath1566 ; 2 .
@xmath1567 for any element @xmath388 of the complement of @xmath1568 in @xmath967 ; 3 .
there exist positive numbers @xmath1569 such that 1 .
for every @xmath1570 , there exists some @xmath1571 with @xmath1572 2 .
@xmath1573 for every @xmath1574 , where @xmath1575 is the minimizing arc joining @xmath1565 and @xmath1576 in @xmath1577 in view of the convergence @xmath1147 , @xmath724 , we find a small @xmath671 and a finite set @xmath1578 such that 1 .
@xmath637 is adjacent to @xmath1579 ; 2 .
there exists a sufficiently small positive number @xmath1580 such that 1 .
@xmath1581 for any @xmath1582 in the complement of @xmath1583-neighborhood of @xmath1584 , where @xmath1585 denotes a closed hemisphere ; 2 . for every @xmath1586 ,
there exists @xmath1587 with @xmath1588 3 .
@xmath1589 for every point @xmath1590 , where @xmath1591 is a minimizing arc in @xmath1592 joining @xmath637 and @xmath1593 .
take the points @xmath1594 with @xmath1595 .
let us assume @xmath1596 .
taking @xmath1597 with @xmath1598 and @xmath1599 under the convergence @xmath867 , consider the closed domains of @xmath15 @xmath1600 let @xmath1601 denote the domain on @xmath29 bounded by @xmath1591 , @xmath1602 , @xmath1603 and @xmath1604 .
let @xmath1605 be a compact domain of @xmath15 which converges to @xmath1606 , @xmath1607 the closure of @xmath1608 , and @xmath1609 the closure of @xmath1610 .
applying fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] to a neighborhood of @xmath1611 , we can take such @xmath1605 that for every @xmath1612 @xmath1613 where @xmath481 and @xmath482 denote the unit normal vector fields to @xmath1614 and @xmath1609 respectively .
thus both @xmath1615 and @xmath1616 meet @xmath1609 transversally , and therefore @xmath1617 , @xmath1618 .
it follows that @xmath1619 we next show @xmath1620 . consider the functions @xmath64 , @xmath1621 and @xmath795 .
note that the gradient of @xmath64 is almost perpendicular to @xmath1609 and that @xmath738 is regular on @xmath1607 .
set @xmath1622)\cap g_i^{-1}(0)$ ] and denote by @xmath1623 the set consisting of all flow curves of the gradient of @xmath738 contained in @xmath1607 through @xmath504 .
clearly , @xmath1624 since the gradient of @xmath64 is almost perpendicular to that of @xmath738 on @xmath1625 , it follows that @xmath1626 .
note also that @xmath504 is topologically a product @xmath1627 .
it follows from the generalized margulis lemma ( @xcite ) that @xmath1628 is almost nilpotent , and therefore by the orientability , @xmath1629 .
it is easy to construct a smooth vector field @xmath801 on a neighborhood of @xmath1630 such that 1 .
@xmath1631 outside a small neighborhood of @xmath1632 , 2 .
@xmath801 is tangent to @xmath1633 , 3 .
@xmath64 is strictly decreasing along the flow curves of @xmath801 .
thus we have @xmath1634 next we show that @xmath1635 . for the points @xmath1636 and @xmath1637 we construct a compact domain @xmath1638 in the same way as the construction of @xmath1607 . from fibration theorem
[ thm : orig - cap ] , @xmath1639 , which together with determines the topological type of the boundary of the @xmath4-manifold @xmath1640 as : @xmath1641 it follows from lemma [ lem : u_1 ] that @xmath1642 from the standard critical point theory for @xmath1643 , @xmath1644 now we have a locally flat embedding @xmath1645 such that @xmath1646 which lies in the interior of some 3-dimensional submanifold homeomorphic to @xmath238 and containing @xmath1647 . by the schoenflies theorem
, it extends to an embedding @xmath1648 such that @xmath1649 .
this provides a compatible @xmath53-bundle structure on @xmath1647 over @xmath1650 .
thus @xmath1651 is a compatible @xmath53-bundle over @xmath1652 , and we conclude that @xmath1653 from sublemmas [ slem : sph - int ] and [ slem : sph - bdy ] , @xmath1021 is homeomorphic to a gluing @xmath1654 along their boundaries , where @xmath1655 denotes a seifert bundle over @xmath53 having at most one singular orbit and @xmath1656 is glued with the regular fibre of @xmath1657 over @xmath1658 . thus @xmath1021 is homeomorphic to either @xmath1659 or a lens space @xmath1660 , where @xmath1661 , or equivalently @xmath1660 is not homeomorphic to @xmath70 .
therefore in view of , @xmath1021 must be homeomorphic to @xmath1659 and @xmath1145 .
in particular @xmath1655 has no singular orbits .
this completes the proof of lemma [ lem : bdyball ] .
we proceed in a way similar to that of theorem [ thm : patch ] as follows .
let @xmath1128 be a small positive number and @xmath1662 be as in fibration - capping theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] .
let @xmath162 be a closed domain of @xmath1663 which approximates @xmath1663 in the sense that @xmath1664 with @xmath1665 .
applying theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] to @xmath162 , we have a closed domain @xmath1666 and a map @xmath1667 such that 1 . @xmath1668 is a @xmath848-approximation with @xmath1669 2 .
@xmath1668 is a locally trivial @xmath53-bundle compatible with the @xmath8-bundle structure , say @xmath1670 , on @xmath1517 , in the sense that the boundary of @xmath1671 coincides with the orbit coming from @xmath1670 for each @xmath1672 .
next we construct a local @xmath53-bundle structure at each point of @xmath1673 extending @xmath1668 .
the following lemma follows from the convergence @xmath1147 as @xmath724 and the finiteness of @xmath1674 for any @xmath129 .
we put @xmath1675 .
[ lem : coversd ] for any @xmath1676 , there exist a positive integer @xmath1150 , positive numbers @xmath1149 and @xmath1060 such that for some @xmath1677 and for sufficiently small @xmath1128 1 .
@xmath1678 2 .
@xmath1679 does not meet @xmath1680 for each @xmath1681 3 .
@xmath1155 is disjoint@xmath489 4 .
@xmath1682 bounds a topological disk , say @xmath1683 , for each @xmath1681 5 .
@xmath1684 does not meet @xmath1046 here we need [ thm : shoen ] let @xmath1685 be a locally flat topological embedding in the sense that there is a topological embedding @xmath1686 with @xmath1687 .
let @xmath1688 denote the compact domain bounded by @xmath1689 , and let @xmath1690 be the canonical identification .
then there exists a homeomorphism @xmath1691 extending @xmath248 .
put @xmath1692 .
we have a @xmath53-bundle structure over @xmath1693 given by @xmath1668 , and an @xmath8-bundle structure over @xmath1694 given by @xmath1670 . by and the generalized shenflies theorem for @xmath954 , those two structures extends to a trivial @xmath53-bundle structure over @xmath1694 , on some three - dimensional compact submanifold , which is gromov - hausdorff close to a compact domain of @xmath1021 .
similarly we have a compatible @xmath53-bundle structure over @xmath1695 , on some three - dimensional compact submanifold , which is gromov - hausdorff close to a compact domain of @xmath1696 . on the other hand
, we have a @xmath53-bundle structure over @xmath1697 , given by @xmath1668 , and we have an @xmath8-bundle structure over @xmath1698 given by @xmath1670 . since these two structure are compatible on the intersection , by generalized shenflies theorem [ thm : shoen ] , these extend to a trivial @xmath53-bundle structure over @xmath1698 for each @xmath1156 .
this also provides a @xmath53-bundle structure over @xmath1699 , which extends to a trivial @xmath53-bundle structure over @xmath1700 again by generalized shenflies theorem [ thm : shoen ] .
thus we have constructed a @xmath53-bundle structure over @xmath1701 which is compatible with @xmath1668 . in a way similar to the global patching argument constructing a globally defined local @xmath8-action in section [ sec : dim3nobdyglob ] , one can patch those local @xmath53-bundle structures compatible with @xmath1668 and @xmath1670 to obtain a globally defined @xmath53-bundle structure over @xmath1525 compatible with @xmath1668 and @xmath1670 .
note that here we use theorem [ thm : shoen ] in place of lemma [ lem : extend ] .
since the patching argument is almost parallel , the detail is omitted .
this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] .
let @xmath15 be as in corollary [ cor : sum ] . by theorem [ thm : dim3 ]
, we have a locally smooth , local @xmath8-action on @xmath15 .
since @xmath15 is simply connected , this local @xmath8-action is actually a global @xmath8-action on @xmath15 . according to fintushel @xcite together with freedman ( see @xcite ) ,
@xmath15 is homeomorphic to a connected sum @xmath1702 note that @xmath24 is simply connected , and hence each connected component of @xmath29 is a sphere .
it follows from the formula @xmath1703 ( see theorem 10.9 in @xcite ) that @xmath1704 [ rem : conn - sum ] let @xmath15 be as in corollary [ cor : sum ] . by , there exists a locally smooth @xmath45-action on @xmath15 .
by @xcite , this action can be reduced to a smooth action , and again @xcite implies that @xmath15 is diffeomorphic to the above connected sum .
furthermore we have a sequence @xmath1705 , @xmath1706 of metrics on @xmath15 such that @xmath1707 collapses to the quotient space @xmath1708 under a uniform lower sectional curvature bound , where @xmath738 is a @xmath45-invariant metric on @xmath15 .
let a sequence of pointed complete @xmath0-dimensional orientable riemannian manifolds @xmath425 with @xmath426 collapses to a pointed complete noncompact @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov space @xmath1709 with nonnegative curvature . in this section
, using the results of sections [ sec : dim3nobdyglob ] and [ sec : dim3wbdy ] , we classify the topology of a large metric ball @xmath429 in terms of geometric properties of @xmath1302 .
the classification result will be used in the subsequent sections of part [ part : collapse ] to describe the phenomena of orientable @xmath0-manifolds collapsing to spaces of dimension @xmath1710 .
let @xmath1711 be a sequence of nonempty compact totally convex subsets of @xmath162 as in section [ sec : ideal ] .
applying theorem [ thm : dim3 ] to the convergence @xmath1712 , we have a locally smooth , local @xmath8-action @xmath25 on @xmath429 whose orbit space is homeomorphic to @xmath432 , where @xmath433 is a large positive number . actually , we have such a local @xmath8-action on a small perturbation of @xmath429 , which is homeomorphic to @xmath429 .
let @xmath1713 , @xmath1714 , @xmath1715 and @xmath1716 .
we denote by @xmath1717 the orbit map .
let @xmath38 denote the number of components of @xmath1718 homeomorphic to a circle , and @xmath39 the number of components of @xmath1718 homeomorphic to an interval whose closure does not meet @xmath502 , and @xmath1719 the number of elements of @xmath1720 .
[ thm : dim3class ] we have the following classification of the topology of @xmath431 in terms of @xmath38 , @xmath39 , @xmath1719 and the geometric properties of @xmath162 : _ case _
a. @xmath162 has no boundary . 1 .
suppose @xmath1721 , yielding @xmath1722
. then @xmath431 is homeomorphic to an @xmath1264-bundle @xmath422resp . a trivial @xmath1264-bundle@xmath423 over @xmath1723 , a seifert bundle over @xmath292 @xmath422resp .
if @xmath1724 @xmath423 .
2 . suppose @xmath1725 .
1 . if @xmath1726 , then @xmath431 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath45 or @xmath1727 2 . if @xmath1722 , then @xmath431 is homeomorphic to either one of the spaces in @xmath1728-@xmath454 or an @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath1729 , a @xmath66-bundle over @xmath1730 3 .
suppose @xmath1731 .
1 . if @xmath1732 , then @xmath1733 @xmath431 is homeomorphic to @xmath578 if @xmath1734 or to @xmath838 if @xmath1735 2 .
if @xmath1736 , then @xmath1737 @xmath431 is homeomorphic to either one of the spaces in @xmath1738-@xmath454 if @xmath1739 , or @xmath1740 where @xmath538 is explicitly estimated in terms of the singularities of the spaces of directions at the endpoints @xmath1741 3 .
suppose @xmath1742 .
then @xmath1743 , @xmath1744 , @xmath1745 and @xmath431 is homeomorphic to one of the spaces in @xmath128-@xmath1738-@xmath454 if @xmath1746 , or @xmath1141 , @xmath1747 , or one in the following list : @xmath1748 + where @xmath1749 , @xmath1750 and @xmath1751 can be explicitly estimated in terms of the ratio of @xmath1466 and the angles of @xmath341 at the extremal points on @xmath1752 .
b. @xmath162 has nonempty connected boundary . 1 .
suppose @xmath1721 , yielding @xmath1722 .
then @xmath429 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath1753 2 .
suppose @xmath1725 .
1 . if @xmath1726 , then @xmath431 is homeomorphic to @xmath1754 2 . if @xmath1722 , then @xmath431 is homeomorphic to the space in @xmath1755-@xmath1728-@xmath454 , @xmath1756 , @xmath1757 or an @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath1758 , the nontrivial @xmath56-bundle over @xmath8 .
3 . suppose @xmath1731 .
if @xmath162 has two ends , then @xmath1759 , @xmath1744 and @xmath1760 suppose that @xmath162 has exactly one end , and consider the maximum set @xmath1761 @xmath422possibly empty@xmath423 of @xmath1762 . then @xmath1763 .
if @xmath1764 is empty and @xmath1765 is nonempty , then @xmath1143 and @xmath431 is homeomorphic to @xmath1766 in the other cases , we have the following@xmath49 1 .
if @xmath1761 is empty , then @xmath431 is homeomorphic to @xmath1767 2 .
suppose @xmath1761 is nonempty
. 1 . if @xmath1726 , then @xmath431 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 or @xmath542 , where @xmath1768 2 . if @xmath1722 , then @xmath431 is homeomorphic to one of the spaces in @xmath1755-@xmath1738-@xmath463-@xmath1769 , @xmath1770 if @xmath1761 is a ray , or @xmath1771 if @xmath1772 , where @xmath1773 can be estimated in terms of singularities at an interior point of @xmath1761 and @xmath1774 .
_ case _ c. @xmath162 has disconnected boundary . 1 .
if @xmath1726 , then @xmath429 is homeomorphic to a @xmath1775 2 . if @xmath1722 , then @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either @xmath1757 or an @xmath1264-bundle over the nontrivial @xmath56-bundle @xmath1758
later we need to clarify the position of the singular locus @xmath1776 . the following lemma will give a general information about it .
let @xmath342 denote the busemann function on @xmath162 used for the construction of @xmath292 ( i.e. , @xmath341 is the minimum set of @xmath342 ) , and let @xmath1777 be the minimum of @xmath342 .
[ lem : locmax ] 1 .
@xmath342 is monotone on each component of @xmath1778 2 . for any @xmath1779
, @xmath1780 has no local minimum on @xmath1781 .
3 . if @xmath1782 is nonempty , it must meet @xmath341 . if @xmath811 denotes a component of @xmath1718 which is not contained in @xmath1752 , then @xmath1783 perpendicularly meet @xmath341 .
here we say that a curve @xmath1784\to y$ ] is _ perpendicular _ to a closed set @xmath269 if @xmath1785 and for any @xmath1786 , the distance @xmath1787))$ ] is realized only at @xmath1788 .
first we show that @xmath342 has no local maximum on @xmath1789 .
suppose that @xmath342 takes a local maximum @xmath1790 at a point @xmath1791 , and let @xmath1792 .
for any @xmath1793 take a point @xmath1794 with @xmath1795 .
then @xmath1796 restricted to @xmath1782 takes a local minimum at @xmath32 .
however for any @xmath100 with @xmath1797 , we have @xmath1798 , which contradicts the fact that @xmath1782 is an extremal subset .
the proof of @xmath463 is similar , and hence omitted .
@xmath463 implies that @xmath342 has no global minimum on @xmath1789 .
@xmath454 follows from the previous argument .
( 3 ) follows from ( 2 ) .
first we consider the case when @xmath162 has no boundary and begin with the simplest _ case _ a - i .
@xmath162 has no boundary and @xmath1721 . in this case
, @xmath162 is isometric to the normal bundle @xmath1799 of @xmath292 , which is flat ( hence if @xmath1724 , then @xmath162 is isometric to @xmath1800 ) .
let @xmath784 be the zero section of @xmath1799 , and @xmath1801 be the preimage of @xmath784 by @xmath1802 , which is a seifert bundle over @xmath784 .
now @xmath431 is homeomorphic to an @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath1801 .
_ case _ a - ii .
@xmath162 has no boundary and @xmath1725 . in this case
@xmath162 is isometric to a quotient @xmath1803 which is homeomorphic to @xmath1804 ( resp .
the nontrivial bundle @xmath1805 ) if @xmath162 is orientable ( resp . if @xmath162 is non - orientable ) , where @xmath1806 , @xmath1807 and the number @xmath75 of essential singular points of @xmath1808 is at most two .
if @xmath1809 , @xmath75 is at most 1 .
if @xmath1722 and @xmath608 , then @xmath1808 would be isometric to the double of a product @xmath1810\times [ 0,\infty)$ ] .
let @xmath1811 denote the number of the singular orbits of @xmath25 over the @xmath1808-factor .
if @xmath1812 , it follows that @xmath429 is an @xmath8-bundle over @xmath1813 , which is homeomorphic to either @xmath240 or the twisted product @xmath1814 .
thus @xmath429 is a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath45 or @xmath66 .
if @xmath1815 , the preimage of the @xmath1808-factor by @xmath1802 , denoted @xmath1816 , is a fibred solid torus with one singular fibre .
therefore @xmath429 is an @xmath1816-bundle over @xmath8 , and @xmath1817 where @xmath248 is a gluing homeomorphism of @xmath240 .
consider the mapping class group @xmath1818 of orientation - preserving homeomorphisms of @xmath240 , which can be thought of as a subgroup of @xmath1819 . since @xmath1820
we may assume that @xmath248 preserves the @xmath53-factors .
thus @xmath431 is a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath45 or @xmath66 .
suppose @xmath1821 . in a similar way to the above case of @xmath1815
, @xmath429 is an @xmath1822-bundle over @xmath8 , where @xmath1822 is the seifert bundle over @xmath53 with two singular orbits with seifert invariants @xmath1823 .
note that @xmath1824 . since @xmath1825 ( @xcite , @xcite ) , in the same way as before , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to an @xmath1264-bundle over a @xmath66-bundle over @xmath8 .
_ case _ a - iii .
@xmath162 has no boundary and @xmath1731 . since @xmath1826 for large @xmath433 ( @xcite )
, @xmath25 is an @xmath8-action ( lemma [ lem : simply ] ) .
suppose first @xmath1827 .
by lemma [ lem : c0codim1 ] , this is the case if @xmath1726 .
if @xmath1732 , or equivalently if @xmath1828 , then @xmath25 has at most one fixed point .
therefore @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 or @xmath838 .
we prepair [ lem : m = n=1 ] let @xmath440 be an @xmath8-action on a compact @xmath0-manifold @xmath3 with boundary such that 1 . the orbit space @xmath1829 is homeomorphic to @xmath238 and @xmath1830 2 .
there is exactly one component @xmath524 of @xmath1245 whose closure @xmath1831 does not meet @xmath1246 , and the seifert invariants along @xmath524 are @xmath1832 3 .
there is a point @xmath1833 such that the number of the components of @xmath1245 whose closure touch @xmath509 is at most @xmath84 .
then @xmath3 is nonorientable . by van kampen s theorem , @xmath1834 .
let @xmath1835 be the universal cover and @xmath299 the nontrivial deck transformation .
@xmath1836 has an @xmath8-action @xmath1837 induced from @xmath440 .
note that there is no component of @xmath1838 whose closure does not meet @xmath1839 .
let @xmath1840 be the points over @xmath509 , and let @xmath1841 be the orbit map .
divide @xmath1842 by a proper @xmath299-invariant @xmath98-disk in @xmath1843 into two @xmath4-disks @xmath1844 and @xmath1845 in such a way that @xmath1846 and the other elements of @xmath1839 are contained in @xmath1845 . put @xmath1847 . by proposition [ prop : plumbing ]
, @xmath1848 is equivariatly homeomorphic to @xmath542 for some @xmath1849 equipped with a canonical action , denoted @xmath1850 , provided in section [ sec : action ] .
hence we may identify @xmath1848 with @xmath1851 .
let @xmath1852 be the gluing as in section [ sec : action ] . since the @xmath1853-action defined by @xmath299 is @xmath8-equivariant , @xmath299 preserves @xmath1854 and the zero - section @xmath1855 .
since @xmath1856 lies in @xmath1857 , the action of @xmath299 on @xmath1855 is orientation - reversing . on the other hand ,
since @xmath299 is @xmath8-equivariant , the @xmath299-action on the @xmath53-factor induced from that on @xmath1854 must be orientation - preserving . therefore @xmath299 is orientation - reversing and @xmath3 must be nonorientable .
suppose @xmath1736 , that is , @xmath341 is a geodesic segment . since @xmath1858 is included in @xmath1752 ,
so is @xmath502 .
[ lem : dimc(0)=1 ] let @xmath1736 and let @xmath811 be a component of @xmath1718 . 1 .
if @xmath811 is not contained in @xmath341 , @xmath1783 perpendicularly intersects @xmath341 with an endpoint of @xmath1741 2 . if @xmath1783 does not meet @xmath502 , one of the following holds@xmath49 1
. if @xmath1859 contains more than one element , then @xmath341 is a subarc of @xmath1860 2 .
@xmath811 intersects @xmath341 with exactly one endpoint of @xmath341 making an angle equal to @xmath910 . in this case , the seifert invariants of @xmath25 along @xmath811 are @xmath1823 .
any point @xmath1861 has a small neighborhood @xmath1862 such that @xmath1863 has no essential singular point .
therefore @xmath811 must intersect @xmath341 with an endpoint .
suppose @xmath1859 is a point , say @xmath100 .
let @xmath481,@xmath482 and @xmath388 denote the directions at @xmath100 determined by @xmath811 and @xmath341 respectively . since @xmath811 is an extremal subset , it follows that @xmath1864 , @xmath80 .
[ slem : rigid - glue ] 1 .
@xmath1865 2 .
@xmath1866 is isometric to the double of a geodesic triangle on @xmath892 with sidelengths @xmath910 , @xmath910 and @xmath1867 .
suppose ( 1 ) first . note that @xmath1868 , @xmath1258 since @xmath1869 .
let @xmath1870 denote a closed domain bounded by @xmath1871 such that the inner angle , say @xmath1872 , of @xmath1870 at @xmath388 is at most @xmath1466 .
let @xmath1873 be the inner angle of @xmath1870 at @xmath1257 .
from the alexandrov convexity applied to @xmath1870 , @xmath1874 let @xmath1875 , and @xmath1876 and @xmath1877 denote the inner angles of @xmath1878 at @xmath388 and @xmath1257 respectively . from , @xmath1879 . if @xmath1880 , using the same argument as above , we conclude @xmath1881 .
the conclusion ( 2 ) follows from the rigidity ( cf .
@xcite ) . for any @xmath1882 , @xmath1883 where @xmath1884 denotes the inner distance in @xmath1878 . let @xmath1885 be a farthest point of @xmath1886 from @xmath388 with respect to @xmath1887 .
divide @xmath1878 by a minimal segment @xmath1888 in @xmath1878 into two triangle regions @xmath1889 and @xmath1890 with @xmath1891 .
we may assume that the inner angle of @xmath1889 at @xmath388 is at most @xmath1466 .
the alexandrov convexity applied to @xmath1889 shows @xmath1892 where @xmath1893 denotes the comparison angle for @xmath1894 .
it follows that @xmath1895 and @xmath1896 .
thus @xmath1889 is isometric to a triangle in @xmath892 with sidelengths @xmath910 , @xmath910 and @xmath1897 .
continue the above argument for @xmath1890 by taking a farthest point of @xmath1898 from @xmath388 , finally to conclude that @xmath1878 and @xmath1870 are isometric to a triangle in @xmath892 with sidelengths @xmath910 , @xmath910 and @xmath1867 .
next we show @xmath454 .
suppose @xmath1899 .
then @xmath120 is isometric to a product @xmath881 , where the length @xmath185 of the circle @xmath882 is at most @xmath1466 because of @xmath1869 .
now consider the busemann function @xmath342 such that @xmath341 coincides with the minimum set of @xmath342 , where we assume @xmath1900 . under the convergence @xmath1901
, @xmath1902 converges to a convex function @xmath1903 on @xmath120 with lipschitz constant @xmath84 .
let @xmath1904 be the limit of @xmath341 under the above convergence , which is a geodesic ray in @xmath1905 from @xmath118 and is contained in @xmath1906 . since @xmath1906 is a totally convex set of dimension @xmath1710 , it follows that @xmath1907 . obviously @xmath1908 is disconnected while @xmath1909 ( see theorem [ thm : soul2 ] ) is connected . in a obvious way
, we get a contradiction . by sublemma [ slem : rigid - glue ] ,
the seifert invariants of @xmath25 along @xmath811 are @xmath1823
. if @xmath1859 is more than a point , then one of @xmath1565 must coincide with @xmath388 and @xmath341 is a subarc of @xmath1783 . by lemma [ lem : dimc(0)=1 ]
, we have @xmath1910 .
lemmas [ lem : m = n=1 ] and [ lem : dimc(0)=1 ] together with lemma [ lem : adj - inv ] imply that the case @xmath1911 does not occur .
if @xmath1175 , then @xmath1826 consists of continuous one - parameter family @xmath1912 of mutually disjoint @xmath98-disks each of which transversally intersects @xmath1718 at exactly two points . since @xmath1913 @xmath429 is homeomorphic to @xmath1914 , a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath66 whose boundary is homeomorphic to the double @xmath1915 . if @xmath1143 , then @xmath429 is homeomorphic to @xmath838 .
if @xmath1141 , by the above argument in the case of @xmath1732 , we may assume @xmath1916 .
in view of lemma [ lem : adj - inv ] , it follows from proposition [ prop : plumbing ] that @xmath429 is homeomorphic to @xmath542 .
let @xmath1917 , @xmath1194 , be the endpoints of @xmath1752 .
then @xmath1918 does not exceed @xmath1919 for some essential singular point @xmath1565 ( if it exists ) of @xmath1920 with distance @xmath910 to the direction determined by @xmath341 .
next suppose @xmath1742 .
since there are exactly two geodesic rays starting from each point of the interior of @xmath341 with directions normal to @xmath269 , we have a locally isometric imbedding @xmath1921 ( see section [ sec : local ] ) . for any subset @xmath1922 ,
let @xmath1923 denote the union of geodesic rays from the points of @xmath1755 appearing as the limits of geodesic rays in @xmath1924 normal to @xmath341 . for the definition of one - normal or two normal points in @xmath1752 , see the definition right before proposition [ prop : codim1-reg ] .
we need some geometry of the space of directions at a given one - normal point of @xmath1752 , which is described in the following lemma .
[ lem : class - dir ] suppose @xmath1742 and a point @xmath1925 be given . 1 .
if @xmath100 is an essential singular point of @xmath162 , then it is a one - normal point @xmath489 2 .
if a point in @xmath1926 is an essential singular point of @xmath1866 , then @xmath100 is a one - normal point @xmath489 3 .
suppose that @xmath100 is a one - normal point and there are two essential singular points of @xmath1927 one is in @xmath1926 and the other is not .
let @xmath677 be the essential singular point in @xmath1928 . 1 .
if @xmath1929 , then @xmath677 satisfies @xmath1930 2 . if @xmath1931 , then @xmath677 lies on a geodesic extension of the geodesic through @xmath1926 , and @xmath1866 is isometric to the double of a geodesic triangle in @xmath892 of sidelengths @xmath910 , @xmath910 and @xmath1932 .
4 . if @xmath100 is an extremal point of @xmath162 and if @xmath677 is an essential singular point of @xmath1866 satisfying @xmath1933 for every @xmath1934 , then @xmath677 is the normal direction to @xmath341 .
let @xmath1935 be the normal directions to @xmath341 , and @xmath1936 , @xmath1937 be the boundary points of @xmath1938 .
note that @xmath1866 has a geodesic triangulation which consists of four geodesic triangles with vertices @xmath481 , @xmath482 , @xmath1936 and @xmath1937 : two of which are isometric to a triangle in @xmath892 with sidelengths @xmath910 , @xmath910 and @xmath1939 .
note that the other two triangles may be degenerate biangles if @xmath100 is a one - normal point . in view of this geodesic triangulation ,
a direct calculation with the alexandrov convexity shows that if @xmath100 is a two - normal point ( @xmath1940 ) , then the radius of @xmath1866 is greater than @xmath910 , and ( 1 ) follows .
furthermore , since @xmath1941 in this case , both @xmath1936 and @xmath1937 are not essential singular points of @xmath1866 yielding ( 2 ) .
@xmath1280 is obvious from the alexandrov convexity . for a one - normal point @xmath100 ,
let @xmath388 be a direction at @xmath100 normal to @xmath341 .
then @xmath388 , @xmath1936 and @xmath1937 span two geodesic triangles of constant curvature @xmath84 . hence @xmath525 follows from the following sublemma .
[ slem : surf - sing ] let @xmath123 be a compact alexandrov surface with curvature @xmath121 and with no boundary .
suppose that there are two geodesic triangle regions of constant curvature @xmath84 in @xmath123 spanned by three points @xmath388 , @xmath1936 and @xmath1937 such that @xmath1942 , @xmath1258 .
let @xmath1943 be an essential singular point in @xmath1944 . 1 .
if @xmath1945 , then @xmath1946 2 . if @xmath1947 , then @xmath677 lies on a geodesic extension of a geodesic joining @xmath1936 and @xmath1937 , and the geodesics @xmath1948 is the common edge of the two geodesic triangles spanned by @xmath677 , @xmath388 , @xmath1949 of constant curvature @xmath84 and of sidelengths @xmath910 , @xmath910 and @xmath1950 .
if @xmath1951 , then cleary ( 1 ) holds .
we assume @xmath1952 and @xmath1953 .
since @xmath677 is an essential singular point , one of @xmath1954 and @xmath1955 is not greater than @xmath910 and the other is not smaller than @xmath910 .
we first assume @xmath1956 and @xmath1957 .
let @xmath1958 , @xmath1959 , be a unit speed geodesic from @xmath388 to @xmath677 , and let @xmath1960 denote the minimal angle between @xmath1961}$ ] and the minimal geodesics from @xmath1958 to @xmath1936 .
since @xmath1962 is concave on @xmath1963 , it follows that @xmath1960 is decreasing .
it follows from the assumption on the existence of two geodesic triangles spanned by @xmath388 , @xmath1936 and @xmath1937 that @xmath1964 which implies @xmath454 .
if @xmath1965 and @xmath1966 , the above argument shows that @xmath677 is on a geodesic through @xmath1936 starting from @xmath1937 and @xmath1967 , and the conclusion @xmath463 follows .
[ ex : sing - y ] in @xmath954 with the usual coordinates @xmath948 , first consider the sector @xmath269 on the @xmath373-plane defined by @xmath1968 , where @xmath1969 denotes the polar coordinates and @xmath1970 .
let @xmath1936 and @xmath1937 be the directions of the @xmath373-plane at the origin defined by @xmath275 .
\(1 ) let @xmath1971 be the direction at the origin , and take a direction @xmath1972 , which is sufficiently close to @xmath388 , such that @xmath1973 .
let @xmath128 be the union of the segment @xmath1974 and the ray @xmath1975 .
then the double @xmath162 of the convex hull of the union of @xmath957 and @xmath128 is a complete open @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature such that @xmath1976 .
note that the space of directions at the origin @xmath1977 is the double of the geodesic quadrangle on @xmath892 spanned by @xmath1936 , @xmath1937 , @xmath388 and @xmath677 .
note that the union of @xmath128 and the segment of @xmath275 in the direction of @xmath1978 provides a quasigeodesic of @xmath162 consisting of essential singular points of @xmath162 .
\(2 ) take any @xmath1462 with @xmath1979 , and let @xmath677 be a direction of the @xmath373-plane at the origin defined by @xmath1980 .
let @xmath128 be the union of the piece of parabola , @xmath1981 , and the ray @xmath1982 .
then the double @xmath162 of the convex hull of the union of @xmath957 and @xmath128 is a complete open @xmath4-dimensional alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature such that @xmath1976 .
note that the space of directions at the origin @xmath1977 is the double of the geodesic triangle on @xmath892 of sidelengths @xmath910 , @xmath910 and @xmath1462 .
note that the union of @xmath128 and the segment of @xmath275 in the direction of @xmath1983 provides a quasigeodesic of @xmath162 consisting of essential singular points of @xmath162 .
\(1 ) and ( 2 ) of example [ ex : sing - y ] correspond to @xmath1984 and @xmath1985 of lemma [ lem : class - dir ] ( 3 ) respectively .
[ lem : excep - inv ] suppose @xmath1742 , and let @xmath811 be an oriented component of @xmath1718 along which the seifert invariants of @xmath25 are given by @xmath529 . 1 .
unless @xmath1986 , @xmath811 can meet @xmath1752 only with an arc of positive length@xmath489 2 . if @xmath811 meets @xmath1752 , then @xmath1987 3 .
if @xmath811 has no intersection with @xmath1752 , then the closure @xmath1783 meets @xmath341 with exactly one point , say @xmath100 , in @xmath1988 , and @xmath1989 . 1 . if @xmath1861 , then @xmath1990 and @xmath1991 2 . if @xmath1925 , then @xmath1992 and @xmath1993 .
therefore @xmath1782 is included in the union of @xmath1752 , quasigeodesics starting from @xmath1994 which are perpendicular to @xmath341 , and the geodesic segments in @xmath1995 suppose that @xmath811 meets @xmath1752 with a point @xmath100 .
let @xmath481 and @xmath482 be directions at @xmath100 determined by @xmath811 .
suppose @xmath1996 .
since @xmath811 is an extremal subset , in view of lemma [ lem : locmax ] , one can verify that both @xmath481 and @xmath482 are directions normal to @xmath341 , yielding @xmath100 being a two - normal point , a contradiction to lemma [ lem : class - dir ] .
this argument implies that a sufficiently short subarc @xmath1997 of @xmath811 starting from @xmath100 is contained in @xmath1752 and @xmath454 holds true .
taking a boundary regular point @xmath1998 of @xmath1752 , we see that @xmath1999 is isometric to the spherical suspension over @xmath2000 , which yields @xmath463 .
suppose that @xmath811 does not meet @xmath1752 .
from lemma [ lem : locmax ] , the closure @xmath1783 must meet @xmath341 , say at @xmath100 . if @xmath1861 , @xmath1866 is isometric to the spherical suspension over @xmath882 with @xmath2001 .
it follows that @xmath100 is not contained in @xmath502 .
therefore @xmath100 is an element of @xmath2002 and we obtain @xmath2003 yielding @xmath2004 .
if @xmath1925 , then it must be contained in @xmath502 and hence is an extremal point of @xmath162 .
let @xmath677 be the direction at @xmath100 determined by @xmath811
. by lemma [ lem : locmax ] , @xmath811 is perpendicular to @xmath341 .
it follows from lemma [ lem : class - dir ] ( 4 ) that @xmath677 must be the normal direction to @xmath269 at @xmath100 . from the definition of quasigeodesics
, one can see that @xmath1783 must be contained in @xmath2005 , by developing @xmath811 on the euclidean plane from a point of @xmath2005 .
[ lem : totalbdy ] suppose @xmath1742 . then @xmath1743 . 1 .
if @xmath2006 , then the circle component of @xmath1718 coincides with @xmath1752 , and @xmath2007 2 .
every component of @xmath2008 contains at most one component of @xmath2009 lemma [ lem : locmax ] yields that there is no choice for the circle component of @xmath1718 but @xmath1752 , and hence @xmath1743 .
if @xmath2006 , lemma [ lem : class - dir ] implies that each point of @xmath1752 is a one - normal point , from which @xmath454 follows .
suppose that there are adjacent components @xmath811 and @xmath1997 of @xmath1782 with nonempty intersection @xmath2010 in @xmath502 .
it turns out that both @xmath811 and @xmath1997 have seifert invariants @xmath1823 , a contradiction to lemma [ lem : adj - inv ] .
suppose @xmath2006 , and let @xmath2011 be the map naturally extending @xmath1921 .
let @xmath2012 be a @xmath98-disk domain in @xmath2013 containing @xmath2014 , and @xmath2015 the closure of @xmath2016 .
put @xmath2017 , @xmath80 .
since @xmath2018 , we have @xmath2019 since @xmath2020 is homeomorphic to a tubular neighborhood of @xmath1752 , it follows from ( 3.8 ) in @xcite that @xmath2021 .
obviously @xmath2022 if @xmath1138 .
if @xmath1175 , then as before @xmath429 is homeomorphic to @xmath1914 .
next consider the case of @xmath2023 .
we need [ lem : class - singsurf ] let @xmath2024 be a nonnegatively curved compact alexandrov surface with boundary .
let @xmath54 and @xmath91 denote the numbers of the extremal points in @xmath2025 and in @xmath2026 respectively .
then @xmath2027 , where the equality holds if and only if @xmath2024 is isometric to either a form @xmath2028 , the result of cutting of the double @xmath2029 of a square @xmath2030 along the diagonals , or a rectangle @xmath1810\times [ c , d]$ ] . by the gauss - bonnet formula
, we have the inequality @xmath2027 , where the equality holds if and only if * @xmath44 is smooth and flat except those essential singular points of @xmath2031 * the space of directions at an essential singular point @xmath100 of @xmath2024 has length @xmath1466 @xmath422resp . @xmath910@xmath423 if @xmath2032 ( resp . if @xmath2033)@xmath489 * @xmath2026 is a broken geodesic with those boundary essential singular points as brerak points .
the conclusion easily follows . by lemmas [ lem : excep - inv ] and [ lem : class - singsurf ] , @xmath2034 , where the equality holds if and only if @xmath341 is isometric to one of the three types described in lemma [ lem : class - singsurf ] . if @xmath1175 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to @xmath1914 as above .
suppose @xmath1143 .
if @xmath1734 , let @xmath811 denote the component of @xmath1718 whose closure does not touch @xmath502 . divide @xmath1813 with a proper @xmath98-disk into two @xmath4-disk domains @xmath2035 and @xmath2036 in such a way that @xmath2037 and the other components of @xmath1782 is contained in @xmath2036 . clearly @xmath2038 and @xmath2039
if @xmath2040 , in view of lemmas [ lem : excep - inv ] and [ lem : class - singsurf ] together with lemma [ lem : adj - inv ] , we come to the situation of lemma [ lem : m = n=1 ] contradicting to the orientability . hence the case @xmath2040 does not occur .
suppose @xmath1141 . in view of the argument in the case of @xmath1736
, we may assume that @xmath2041 . if @xmath2042 , proposition [ prop : plumbing ] and lemma [ lem : excep - inv ] imply that @xmath2043 , where @xmath2044 and @xmath2045 .
if @xmath2046 , then @xmath1782 is disconnected .
cut @xmath1813 with a @xmath98-disk into two @xmath4-disk domains @xmath2035 and @xmath2036 in such a way that a connected component of @xmath1782 containing only one element of @xmath2047 is contained in @xmath2035 and the other components are contained in @xmath2036
. then @xmath2048 and @xmath2049 , where @xmath1918 is estimated as in .
if @xmath2050 , then @xmath1782 is disconnected . cut @xmath1813 with a @xmath98-disk into two @xmath4-disk domains @xmath2035 and @xmath2036 in such a way that connected components of @xmath1782 containing exactly two elements of @xmath2047 are contained in @xmath2035 and the other components are contained in @xmath2036 .
then by proposition [ prop : plumbing ] , both @xmath2051 and @xmath2052 are homeomorphic to @xmath542 , where @xmath2053 .
this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : dim3class ] in the case when @xmath162 has no boundary .
next we consider the case when @xmath162 has nonempty connected boundary .
we begin with _ case _ b - i @xmath2054 is connected and @xmath1721 . by proposition [ prop : codim1 ]
, @xmath162 is isometric to the product @xmath2055 .
therefore @xmath610 is a point , and theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] implies that @xmath429 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath292 .
_ case _ b - ii @xmath2054 is connected and @xmath1725 . in this case
, @xmath162 is isometric to a product @xmath1803 , where @xmath1808 is either homeomorphic to @xmath2056 or isometric to @xmath2057 , and @xmath2058 .
let @xmath1623 denote the preimage of an @xmath1808-factor by @xmath1802 .
suppose @xmath2059 .
let @xmath2060 denote the number of the essential singular points of @xmath2061 . if @xmath2062 , by theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] , @xmath2063 , yielding @xmath2064 .
. then @xmath1808 is isometric to a form @xmath2066 , which implies that @xmath1722 and @xmath2067 if @xmath1623 has a singular orbit .
since @xmath429 is homeomorphic to an @xmath1623-bundle over @xmath8 , it follows from the following lemma that @xmath2068 .
the mapping class group @xmath2069 of orientation preserving homeomorphisms of @xmath239 is trivial .
let @xmath2070 be the mapping class group of homeomorphisms of @xmath2071 fixing a disk . since any orientation preserving homeomorphism @xmath248 of @xmath239 is isotopic to the identity on the boundary sphere , we way assume @xmath2072 on @xmath2073 .
therefor @xmath2074 .
the result follows from @xcite , @xcite and @xcite .
suppose @xmath1808 is isometric to @xmath2075 .
since @xmath2076 , @xmath429 is an @xmath2077-bundle over @xmath8 .
since @xmath2078 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either @xmath1757 or an @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath1758 , the nontrivial @xmath56-bundle over @xmath8 . _ case _ b - iii @xmath2054 is connected and @xmath1731 . if @xmath162 has two ends , it is isometric to a product @xmath2079 , where @xmath2080
. let @xmath2081 denote the preimage of an @xmath2082-factor by @xmath1802 . then @xmath2083 .
note that @xmath2082 has either at most one essential singular point , say @xmath821 , in its interior , or isometric to @xmath2084 for some @xmath1264 and @xmath2085 . in either case , @xmath1759 and @xmath1744 . in the former case
, @xmath2081 is homeomorphic to @xmath1660 , where @xmath2086 . in the latter case
, @xmath2081 is homeomorphic to either @xmath2087 ( @xmath1143 ) or @xmath2088 ( @xmath1175 ) . in what follows ,
we assume that @xmath162 has exactly one end . in the argument below about the geometry of @xmath162
, we show that @xmath2054 is homeomorphic to @xmath302 .
since we have a collar neighborhood of @xmath2054 ( theorem [ thm : collar ] ) , we can apply the method of @xcite to @xmath2089 and obtain that @xmath2090 is homeomorphic to @xmath238 for a large @xmath428 .
note that @xmath2091 converges to @xmath2092 as @xmath2093 , and denote by @xmath2094 the closure of @xmath2095 .
we put @xmath2096 .
[ ass : b(s , r)capy ] assume that @xmath162 has exactly one end .
then for any sufficiently large @xmath433 , both @xmath2094 and @xmath2097 are homeomorphic to @xmath53 . in particular
, @xmath162 is homeomorphic to @xmath980 . by using the gradient flows for the distance function @xmath2098 from @xmath292
, we see that for sufficiently large @xmath433 , 1 .
@xmath2099 2 .
@xmath2100 , where @xmath2101 is the boundary as a topological @xmath98-manifold .
since @xmath162 has exactly one end , @xmath2094 must be connected .
we assert that @xmath2102 is connected . applying the method of @xcite
, we also have a pseudo - gradient flow for @xmath2098 on @xmath2103 ( see section 10 of @xcite for the definition of pseudo - gradient flows ) . for a small @xmath156 with @xmath2104 and @xmath2105 , let @xmath2106 be the projection along the flow curves . since @xmath2107 is connected , if @xmath2102 was disconnected , @xmath2108 and hence @xmath2097 would be disconnected , yielding the disconnectivity of @xmath2054 , a contradiction .
the former conclusion of the assertion then follows from the connectivity of both @xmath2109 and @xmath2108 .
the latter follows easily . to determine the topology of @xmath431 ,
consider the distance function @xmath1762 from @xmath2054 .
let @xmath1761 be the maximum set of @xmath1762 ( possibly empty ) .
[ lem : sing - incl ] @xmath1763 for sufficiently large @xmath19 .
the proof is by contradiction . in a way similar to lemma [ lem : locmax ] , we have * @xmath1762 is monotone on each component of @xmath2110 * for any @xmath2111 less than the maximum of @xmath1762 , and for any @xmath100 with @xmath2112 , @xmath1780 has no local minimum on @xmath2113 .
suppose that @xmath1782 is not contained in @xmath1761 for any sufficiently large @xmath19 .
then we have a sequence @xmath2114 and @xmath8-actions @xmath25 on @xmath2115 extending the original actions .
since @xmath2116 has no local minimum on @xmath2117 , there is a subarc @xmath2118 of @xmath1782 with unit speed parameter , @xmath2119 , @xmath2120 , such that @xmath1769 @xmath2121 is monotone decreasing , @xmath2122@xmath2123 , @xmath2124@xmath2118 does not reach @xmath2054 .
therefore for any @xmath255 there is an @xmath19 and @xmath2125 such that @xmath2126 it follows that @xmath2127 where @xmath2128 .
take @xmath100 with @xmath2129 sufficiently close to @xmath2130 such that @xmath2131 .
now it is easy to see that @xmath1780 has a local minimum on @xmath2132 , a contradiction .
_ case _ ( i ) .
@xmath1762 has no maximum . by lemma [ lem : sing - incl ] , @xmath1782 is empty , and therefore @xmath2133 .
_ case _ ( ii ) .
@xmath1762 has a maximum . from now on
we assume that @xmath1782 is nonempty . by the concavity of @xmath1762 , every geodesic ray of @xmath162 stating from any point of @xmath1761
is contained in @xmath1761 .
it follows that @xmath610 is isometric to @xmath2134 .
obviously @xmath292 is isometric to a soul of @xmath1761 .
if @xmath1772 , as in the case of @xmath1742 , for each @xmath2135 there are two minimal geodesics from @xmath100 to @xmath2054 .
thus we have a locally isometric imbedding @xmath2136\to y$ ] , where @xmath580 is the maximum of @xmath1762 .
suppose that @xmath1764 is empty and @xmath1765 is nonempty .
we show @xmath1143 . if @xmath2137 , then @xmath1761 is isometric to @xmath2075 and @xmath2138 .
therefore it is easy to verify that @xmath162 is isometric to @xmath2139 for some @xmath2085 , and thus @xmath162 would have two ends , a contradiction to the hypothesis .
therefore @xmath1143 .
suppose first the special case that @xmath1765 is a minimal geodesic extending to a line .
then @xmath162 is isometric to a product @xmath2079 , where @xmath2140 .
since @xmath2141 contains an essential singular point , @xmath2082 is isometric to @xmath2142 for some @xmath2085 .
since the preimage of a @xmath2082-factor by @xmath1802 is homeomorphic to @xmath239 , @xmath431 is homeomorphic to @xmath2143 .
note that the seifert invariants along @xmath1765 are @xmath1823 and that @xmath1761 is isometric to @xmath2144 .
next consider the general case . by contradiction together with the argument above , we may assume that @xmath1772 and @xmath2138 .
it follows that the seifert invariants along @xmath1765 are @xmath1823 .
therefore proposition [ prop : circ - class ] combined with the above argument implies that @xmath2145 .
. then @xmath1761 has at most one extremal point on @xmath2146 . since @xmath2147 , we have @xmath2023 , @xmath1138 and @xmath1747 .
it follows from the same reason as lemma [ lem : totalbdy](2 ) that every component of @xmath2148 contains at most one component of @xmath1718 .
proposition [ prop : plumbing ] then implies that @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 or a @xmath542 with @xmath2149 .
next suppose @xmath1722 .
if @xmath1761 was a line , then @xmath162 would split as @xmath2150 with @xmath2151 , a contradiction to the hypothesis for @xmath162 having exactly one end .
thus @xmath1761 must be a geodesic ray if @xmath2152 .
let us assume that @xmath1761 is a geodesic ray .
let @xmath2153 , @xmath2154 , be the isotropy group at an interior point @xmath100 of @xmath1761 .
letting @xmath2155 , we obtain @xmath2156 . in a similar way as above , proposition [ prop : plumbing ] implies that @xmath2157 .
suppose next that @xmath1772 .
since we may assume that @xmath1761 has two extremal points , it is isometric to either a product @xmath2158 or the double @xmath2159 .
but in the argument below , we may assume the former case .
let @xmath2160 be the extremal points of @xmath1761 .
here we have the following four cases for @xmath1782 . 1 .
@xmath1782 coincides with @xmath2161 2 .
@xmath1782 is the geodesic segment joining @xmath2162 and @xmath2163 3 .
@xmath1782 consists of @xmath2164 and a geodesic segment from @xmath2162 to @xmath2165 4 .
@xmath1782 consists of two geodesic segments from @xmath2162 and @xmath2166 to @xmath2167 .
let @xmath48 be a small regular closed neighborhood of @xmath2054 .
then @xmath2168 is homeomorphic to @xmath578 .
let @xmath801 denote the preimage of the closure of @xmath2169 by @xmath1802
. then @xmath2170 .
proposition [ prop : plumbing ] implies that @xmath2171 , where @xmath2172 in the cases of @xmath454 , @xmath463 and @xmath1280 , @xmath2173 in the case of @xmath525 . finally we consider _ case _ c. @xmath162 has disconnected boundary . in this case by theorem [ thm : cptcomp ]
, @xmath2054 consists of two connected components and @xmath162 is isometric to a product @xmath2174 , where @xmath1264 is a closed interval and @xmath160 is a component of @xmath2054 .
note @xmath2175 .
. then @xmath160 is homeomorphic to @xmath302 .
let @xmath75 be the number of the essential singular points of @xmath160 , which is at most @xmath84 .
we now apply theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] . if @xmath2062 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to the gluing @xmath2176 note that even if @xmath2065 there are no singular loci of the @xmath8-action @xmath25 in @xmath2177 . for
if there were , they would correspond to @xmath2178 , where @xmath1397 is the essential singular point of @xmath160 .
this contradicts theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] ( 4 ) .
then theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] again implies that @xmath2179 .
next suppose @xmath1722 .
in view of the argument above , we may assume that @xmath160 is isometric to a flat cylinder or a flat mbius strip . by theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] , in the former case
, @xmath431 is homeomorphic to an @xmath56-bundle over @xmath2180 , which is homeomorphic to @xmath1757 . in the latter case
, @xmath431 is homeomorphic to an @xmath56-bundle over the twisted product @xmath2181 , which is homeomorphic to @xmath1264-bundle over the nontrivial bundle @xmath1758 .
this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : dim3class ] .
when a @xmath0-manifold @xmath2182 has boundary homeomorphic to @xmath1659 , we put @xmath2183 [ prop : find - top ] under the same assumption of b - iii in theorem [ thm : dim3class ] , suppose that @xmath2184 and @xmath1718 does not meet @xmath2185 .
then @xmath2186 and @xmath2187 is homeomorphic to either @xmath2188 or @xmath7 .
note that @xmath2189 and that @xmath2190 is simply connected and admits a local smooth @xmath8-action @xmath2191 whose orbit space is homeomorphic to @xmath1813 with @xmath2192 .
it follows from corollary [ cor : sum ] together with the fact @xmath2193 that @xmath2190 has a required topological type . 1 .
one can conclude that in proposition [ prop : find - top ] , if @xmath2194 is a segment joining the two interior fixed points , then @xmath2195 2 .
proposition [ prop : find - top ] shows that @xmath429 can not be homeomorphic to a disk - bundle under the situation of b - iii if @xmath2042 .
let a sequence of pointed complete @xmath0-dimensional orientable riemannian manifolds @xmath425 with @xmath426 converge to a pointed two - dimensional alexandrov space @xmath2196 . throughout this section ,
we assume that @xmath32 is an interior point of @xmath44 .
now consider the local convergence @xmath2197 for a sufficiently small positive number @xmath671 . by fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ]
, @xmath2198 is homeomorphic to an @xmath504-bundle over @xmath2199 , where @xmath504 is either @xmath56 or @xmath45 . by theorem [ thm : rescal ]
, we have sequences @xmath597 and @xmath599 such that 1 . for any limit @xmath603 of @xmath604 ,
we have @xmath2200 ; 2 .
@xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath601 for every @xmath602 and large @xmath19 compared to @xmath433 .
let @xmath292 be a soul of @xmath162 .
it follows from lemma [ lem : expand ] and proposition [ prop : ideal ] that @xmath2201 in this section , we consider the case of the general fibre @xmath2202
. then we have @xmath2203 we apply theorem [ thm : dim3class ] to the convergence @xmath2204 under the conditions , and .
the main purpose of this section is to prove [ thm : patchs^2 ] there is a positive number @xmath1028 such that for any @xmath1030 and any sufficiently large @xmath19 compared with @xmath671 , 1 .
@xmath2205 2 .
there exists an @xmath56-bundle structure on @xmath2206 compatible to the @xmath56-bundle structure on @xmath2198 . since @xmath2207 is discrete for any @xmath129 when @xmath44 has no boundary , together with fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] , theorem [ thm : patchs^2 ] yields theorem [ thm : dim2nobdy ] in the case when the general fibre is a sphere .
first we begin with [ lem : notd^3s^1 ] the fundamental group of @xmath592 is finite and cyclic for any small @xmath595 and any sufficiently large @xmath19 .
let @xmath2208 be the univerasal covering space of @xmath592 with the deck transformation group @xmath849 .
take a sequence @xmath2209 of positive numbers satisfying @xmath2210 .
we may assume that @xmath2211 converges to a triplet @xmath2212 .
we assert that @xmath847 is discrete and hence @xmath849 is isomorphic to @xmath847 for large @xmath19 .
otherwise , we would have a sequence @xmath2213 converging to the identity of @xmath847 under the above convergence .
applying fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] to a contractible ball @xmath1755 in @xmath2214 , we have a closed domain @xmath2215 in @xmath592 fibers over @xmath1755 .
let @xmath2216 be a point converging to the center of @xmath1755 .
obviously , the geodesic loop @xmath2217 at @xmath1292 represented by @xmath2218 is contained in @xmath2215 . since @xmath2219
, @xmath2217 must be null homotopic , a contradiction to @xmath2220 . since @xmath1120 is the flat cone @xmath120
, it follows that @xmath160 is also a flat cone and @xmath847 is a finite cyclic group .
now we consider _ case _
a. @xmath870 . intuitively , this is the case when the sphere fibre converges to a sphere under the rescaling @xmath2221 .
in fact we have [ prop : y4 ] if @xmath870 , then 1 .
@xmath2222 2 .
@xmath2223 in view of corollary [ cor : soul ] together with and lemma [ lem : notd^3s^1 ] , we have the only possibility @xmath1721 .
it follows that @xmath292 is homeomorphic to @xmath56 , @xmath65 , @xmath45 or @xmath66 .
if @xmath2224 , then @xmath592 must be homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath65 .
it turns out that @xmath1021 is homeomorphic to an @xmath8-bundle over @xmath65 , a contradiction to . similarly ,
if @xmath292 was homeomorphic to @xmath45 or @xmath66 , we would have a contradiction .
thus @xmath292 must be homeomorphic to @xmath56 and @xmath592 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath56 . in view of
, this bundle must be trivial .
next we consider _ case _ b. @xmath2225 . intuitively , this is the case when the sphere fibre collapses to a closed interval under the rescaling @xmath2221 ( see propositions [ prop : y3nobdy ] and [ prop : y3wbdy ] ) .
let @xmath1711 be as in section [ sec : ideal ] .
applying theorem [ thm : dim3 ] to the convergence @xmath2226 , we have a locally smooth , local @xmath8-action @xmath25 on @xmath2227 whose orbit space is homeomorphic to @xmath432 , where @xmath433 is a large positive number .
let @xmath1713 , @xmath1714 , @xmath1715 , @xmath1716 , @xmath38 , @xmath39 , @xmath1719 and @xmath2228 be as in the previous section .
[ prop : y3nobdy ] if @xmath2229 and @xmath162 has no boundary , then 1 .
@xmath2230 2 .
@xmath341 is isometric to a @xmath84-dimensional closed interval@xmath489 3 .
in particular , @xmath2232 4 .
@xmath1782 coincides with one of the following : @xmath2233 where @xmath276 and @xmath2234 denote quasigeodesics in @xmath1813 starting from the endpoints @xmath1752 , reaching @xmath2185 , and being perpendicular to @xmath2235 5 .
@xmath2236 .
note @xmath2237 .
suppose first _ case _ b - i-1 .
@xmath162 has no boundary and @xmath1725 .
case a ii-(1 ) of theorem [ thm : dim3class ] yields a contradiction to .
therefore we have the following case : _ case _ b - i-2 .
@xmath162 has no boundary and @xmath1731 .
note that @xmath1826 for large @xmath433 ( @xcite ) . since @xmath1726
, we may assume @xmath1827 ( lemma [ lem : c0codim1 ] ) .
in view of case a - iii of theorem [ thm : dim3class ] combined with @xmath2238 , we can exclude the case of @xmath1732 .
thus @xmath341 must be a geodesic segment .
case a - iii of theorem [ thm : dim3class ] implies @xmath2239 and @xmath2240 , where @xmath576 if and only if we have the cases ( a ) , ( c ) , ( d ) and ( f ) in proposition [ prop : plumbing ] .
thus we obtain the conclusions ( 4 ) and ( 5 ) .
next we consider the case when @xmath162 has nonempty boundary .
[ prop : y3wbdy ] if @xmath2229 and @xmath162 has nonempty boundary , then 1 .
@xmath162 is isometric to a product @xmath2174 , where @xmath2241 has at most one essential singular point@xmath489 2 .
@xmath2236 .
we first assume _ case _ b - ii @xmath2054 is disconnected . in this case , by theorem [ thm : cptcomp ]
, @xmath162 is isometric to the product @xmath2174 , where @xmath1264 is a closed interval and @xmath160 is a two - dimensional open alexandrov surface with nonnegative curvature homeomorphic to @xmath302 and with @xmath2242 . by case c - i of theorem [ thm : dim3class ] , @xmath592 must be homeomorphic to @xmath2243 .
next we assume the case when @xmath2054 is connected . _ case _ b - iii-1 @xmath2054 is connected and @xmath1725 . in this case , by theorem [ thm : dim3class ] , @xmath1053 , which contradicts lemma [ lem : notd^3s^1 ] .
_ case _ b - iii-2 @xmath2054 is connected and @xmath1731 . in this case , in view of case b - iii of theorem [ thm : dim3class ] , we would have a contradiction to lemma [ lem : notd^3s^1 ] .
thus we have proved proposition [ prop : y3wbdy ] . by propositions [ prop :
y4 ] , [ prop : y3nobdy ] and [ prop : y3wbdy ] , we already know that @xmath2244
. it is known ( cf .
@xcite , @xcite ) that the mapping class group @xmath2245 of orientation preserving homeomorphisms of @xmath70 is isomorphic to @xmath2246 .
it is generated by the homeomorphisms @xmath2247 and @xmath680 , where @xmath1214 and @xmath2248 are orientation reversing homeomorphisms of @xmath8 and @xmath56 respectively and @xmath680 is defined as @xmath2249 note that @xmath2250 is isotopic to the identity since @xmath2251 . from the @xmath56-bundle structure on @xmath2198 , we have a homeomorphism @xmath2252 . from @xmath2244
, we also have a homeomorphism @xmath2253 .
note that @xmath2254\times s^1\times s^2 \bigcup_{\varphi_i'\circ\varphi_i^{-1 } } \ { r\}\times d^2\times s^2,\ ] ] where @xmath2255 is understood as a homeomorphism of @xmath2256 . since @xmath2255 is isotopic to either the identity , @xmath248 , @xmath680 or @xmath2257 , it is now easy to verify that @xmath2206 admits a compatible @xmath56-bundle structure in either case .
we consider the situation of the previous section that a sequence of pointed complete @xmath0-dimensional orientable riemannian manifolds @xmath425 with @xmath426 converges to a pointed @xmath98-dimensional alexandrov space @xmath2196 . throughout this section ,
we assume that @xmath32 is an interior singular point of @xmath44 .
now consider the local convergence @xmath2197 for a sufficiently small positive number @xmath671 . by fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ]
, @xmath2198 is homeomorphic to an @xmath504-bundle over @xmath2199 , where @xmath504 is either @xmath56 or @xmath45 . in this section ,
we consider the case @xmath2258 .
first note @xmath2259 the purpose of this section is to prove the following [ thm : locstrtor ] if @xmath2258 , then we have 1 .
@xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath2260 2 . for some @xmath58 , an @xmath54-fold cyclic
cover @xmath2261 of @xmath592 satisfies the following commutative diagram @xmath49 @xmath2262 where the diagonal @xmath52-action on @xmath2263 is free on @xmath45-factor and rotational on @xmath53-factor ; 3 .
the seifert @xmath45-bundle structure on @xmath592 in @xmath463 is compatible with the @xmath45-bundle structure on @xmath2198 .
it should be noted that there is no restriction about the @xmath52-action on the @xmath45-factor because the @xmath45-factor is collapsing to a point . since @xmath2207 is discrete for any @xmath129 when @xmath44 has no boundary , together with fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] , theorem [ thm : locstrtor ] yields theorem [ thm : dim2nobdy ] in the case when the general fibre is a torus .
let the sequences @xmath597 , @xmath599 , the pointed complete noncompact alexandrov space @xmath603 with nonnegative curvature and its soul @xmath292 be as in the previous section .
[ prop : y4y3tor ] under the situation above , we have the following : 1 . if @xmath870 , then @xmath292 is isometric to a flat torus@xmath489 2 . if @xmath2229 , then 1 .
@xmath162 has no boundary@xmath489 2 .
@xmath292 is a circle . intuitively , @xmath781 ( resp .
@xmath2229 ) occurs when a ( singular ) torus fibre converges to a torus ( resp . a circle ) under the rescaling @xmath2221 .
we can think of @xmath292 as the limit of the `` singular torus fibre '' , which is invisible yet . for the proof of proposition [ prop : y4y3tor ]
, first we need [ lem : d2bdle ] 1 . if @xmath781 , then @xmath292 is isometric to a flat torus or a flat klein bottle@xmath489 2 .
if @xmath2229 , then @xmath162 has no boundary and @xmath292 is either a circle or a point with @xmath2264 3 .
@xmath592 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath45 or @xmath66 .
first suppose @xmath781 .
if @xmath2237 , corollary [ cor : soul ] implies @xmath2265 which contradicts .
thus @xmath1721 , and hence @xmath292 is either homeomorphic to one of @xmath56 and @xmath65 or isometric to a flat torus or a flat klein bottle . by generalized soul theorem [ thm : soul ] , @xmath592 is a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath292 .
hence if @xmath292 was homeomorphic to either @xmath56 or @xmath65 , we would have a contradiction to .
therefore @xmath292 is isometric to a flat torus or a flat klein bottle and we obtain the conclusion .
next suppose that @xmath2229 . in view of and ,
theorem [ thm : dim3class ] shows that @xmath162 has no boundary and ( 2),(3 ) hold .
we take a sequence @xmath2266 such that @xmath2267 converges to @xmath2268 .
let @xmath849 be the deck transformation group of the universal covering @xmath2269 , @xmath2270 a point over @xmath814 . passing to a subsequence , we assume that @xmath2271 converges to a triplet @xmath2272 with respect to the pointed equivariant gromov - hausdorff convergence .
note that @xmath1120 is isometric to @xmath120 and @xmath847 contains an abelian subgroup of index @xmath1710 ( lemma [ lem : d2bdle ] ) .
[ prop : dim2univ ] under the situation above , we have 1 . @xmath160 is isometric to a product @xmath2273 preserved by the @xmath847-action , where @xmath1808 is a flat cone@xmath489 2 .
@xmath847 is abelian and isomorphic to @xmath2274 for some integer @xmath2275 3 .
@xmath592 is a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath45 .
let @xmath2276 be the abelian subgroup of @xmath849 of index @xmath1710 , and @xmath2277 the limit of @xmath2276 under the convergence @xmath2278 , which is an abelian subgroup of @xmath847 of index @xmath1710 .
[ clm : product ] 1 .
the identity component @xmath2279 of @xmath2277 is isomorphic to @xmath2280 2 .
@xmath160 is isometric to a @xmath2279-invariant product @xmath2273 such that @xmath2281 is compact , where @xmath2282 is the projection .
consider the norm on @xmath2276 defined by @xmath2283 . from the proof of lemma [ lem : d2bdle ] @xmath525 together with @xmath2284 , we can find generators @xmath2218 , @xmath848 of @xmath2276 such that @xmath2285 and @xmath2286 as @xmath723 . denoting by @xmath1623 the subgroup of @xmath2276 generated by @xmath2218 ,
take a minimal element @xmath2287 with @xmath2288 . since @xmath2276 is properly discontinuous , @xmath2289 .
therefore for any large @xmath428 there exists an @xmath1719 such that @xmath2290 take @xmath2291 such that @xmath2292 .
since @xmath2276 is abelian , it follows from homogeneity that @xmath2293 also converges to @xmath2294 .
let @xmath1239 and @xmath1 be the limit of @xmath1623 and the group generated by @xmath2295 respectively , and let @xmath2296 and @xmath2297 denote the minimal totally convex subsets containing @xmath2298 and @xmath2299 respectively . since @xmath1239 and @xmath1 are noncompact , both @xmath2296 and @xmath2297 contains lines and the splitting theorem implies that @xmath2296 and @xmath2297 isometrically splits as @xmath2300 , @xmath2301 , where @xmath2302 are compact ( see @xcite ) .
therefore we have an @xmath1239-invariant line @xmath1348 in @xmath2296 and a @xmath1-invariant line @xmath1349 in @xmath2297 .
implies that @xmath1348 is not parallel to @xmath1349 .
it follows that @xmath160 is isometric to a product @xmath2303 .
obviously @xmath2279 preserves @xmath2303 and is isomorphic to the vector group @xmath302 .
in particular , @xmath2304 . if @xmath2305 is compact , clearly @xmath2281 is compact . if @xmath2305 is noncompact , then @xmath2306 .
let @xmath889 be the set of minimal displacement of @xmath2279 : @xmath2307 where @xmath2308 .
then @xmath889 is isometric to @xmath302 and we have the decomposition @xmath2309 satisfying the required properties .
[ clm : inf - dim ] @xmath2310 .
in particular , @xmath2311 . choose a sequence @xmath2114 such that the pointed gromov - hausdorff distance between @xmath2312 and @xmath2313 is less than @xmath2314 .
take @xmath1295 with @xmath2315 and @xmath2316 .
by @xmath2317 , @xmath2318 converges to a triplet @xmath2319 , where @xmath2320 is the vertex of the cone @xmath2321 . in a way similar to claim [ clm : product ] , we have @xmath2322 and @xmath2323 .
[ lem : screw ] let @xmath2324 be an @xmath91-dimensional complete alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature and with @xmath2325 .
let @xmath2326 be a group of isometries of @xmath1197 isomorphic to @xmath136 preserving the splitting @xmath2324 such that @xmath2327 and @xmath2328 is compact , where @xmath2329 and @xmath2330 are the projections . then @xmath2331 from the assumption , @xmath2328 is isomorphic to a torus , say @xmath2332 .
let @xmath2333 be any limit of @xmath2334 as @xmath2335 .
it is not difficult see that @xmath2336 .
therefore @xmath2337 from the assumption , there is a @xmath2328-invariant point ( soul ) of @xmath3 , say @xmath151 . since we have an expanding map @xmath2338 it follows from @xmath2325 that @xmath2339 .
thus , the @xmath2332-action on @xmath2340 is effective , and we have the required equality .
since @xmath2341 , it follows from claims [ clm : product ] , [ clm : inf - dim ] and lemma [ lem : screw ] that @xmath2342 , where @xmath2282 is the projection .
it follows that @xmath2277 is isomorphic to the direct sum @xmath2343 which preserves the splitting @xmath2344 . since @xmath2345 is a flat cone ,
so is @xmath1808 , and @xmath2346 must be a finite cyclic group @xmath52 for some integer @xmath54 .
next we show ( 3 ) , or equivalently @xmath2347 .
suppose that ( 3 ) does not hold .
since the nontrivial deck transformation of the covering @xmath2348 reverses the orientation of @xmath45 and since any element of @xmath847 is orientation - preserving , any nontrivial element @xmath2349 has the property that both @xmath2350 and @xmath2351 are orientation - reversing .
therefore @xmath1120 must have nonempty boundary , a contradiction .
let @xmath2352 be a fixed point of @xmath2353-action .
since @xmath2354 @xmath2355 , it follows that @xmath58 .
this completes the proof of proposition [ prop : dim2univ ] . from lemma [ lem :
d2bdle ] and proposition [ prop : dim2univ ] , the proof of proposition [ prop : y4y3tor ] is now complete .
let @xmath2356 be a point over @xmath598 . passing to a subsequence
, we may assume that @xmath2357 converges to a triplet @xmath2358 .
note that @xmath2326 is abelian and @xmath2359 .
[ prop : dim2univ2 ] under the situation above , @xmath1197 is isometric to a product @xmath2360 preserved by the @xmath2326-action with @xmath2361 satisfying the following : 1 .
let @xmath2362 and @xmath2363 be the projections
. then @xmath2364 uniformly acts as translation and @xmath2365 for some positive integer @xmath91 .
+ consequently , @xmath2326 is isomorphic to one of @xmath2366 , @xmath2367 or @xmath2368 2 .
letting @xmath2369 be a @xmath2370-invariant point , we have @xmath2371 since @xmath2372 , the alexandrov convexity in nonnegative curvature yields an expanding map @xmath2373 , where @xmath160 is as in proposition [ prop : dim2univ ] ( compare lemma [ lem : expanding2 ] ) . in particular , @xmath2374 . from the noncompactness of @xmath2326
, we have a splitting @xmath2375 .
we show the existence of @xmath2326-invariant splitting @xmath2376 .
first assume @xmath781 . from proposition [ prop :
y4y3tor ] , @xmath2377 and we have a splitting @xmath2376 preserved by the @xmath2326-action . next assume that @xmath2229 , yielding @xmath2378 .
since any limit group of a nontrivial subgroup of @xmath849 under the convergence @xmath2379 is noncompact , we have @xmath2380 . by proposition
[ prop : y4y3tor ] , the soul of @xmath162 is a circle .
it follows that @xmath2381 is infinite .
now we show that @xmath1197 isometrically splits as @xmath2376 . otherwise , the group of isometries of @xmath2382 is compact , and @xmath2326 preserves the splitting @xmath2383
. obviously @xmath2384 , where @xmath2385 is the projection .
it turns out that @xmath2386 is a infinite discrete group in the compact group @xmath2387 . since @xmath2326 is closed in @xmath2388 , it is a contradiction .
next we show that there exists a @xmath2326-invariant splitting @xmath2376 such that @xmath2389 and @xmath2370 is compact .
if @xmath2390 is compact , it is clear . if @xmath2390 is noncompact , then @xmath2391
let @xmath2392 be a subgroup of @xmath2326 isomorphic to @xmath2367 , and let @xmath889 be the set of minimal displacement of @xmath2392
. then @xmath2393 and we have the decomposition @xmath2394 satisfying the required properties .
we show @xmath454 and @xmath463 .
we put @xmath2395 for simplicity .
let @xmath2396 and @xmath2397 be any limits of @xmath2398 and @xmath2399 as @xmath2335 respectively , where @xmath2400 .
note that @xmath2401 .
it follows that @xmath2402 recall that we have an expanding map @xmath2403 it follows that @xmath2404 is finite and therefore @xmath2405 .
taking a @xmath2406-invariant point @xmath2369 , we have an injective homomorphism @xmath2407 .
note that we also have an expanding map @xmath2408 which concludes that @xmath2409 finally remark that if @xmath2326 has no torsion , @xmath2326 is isomorphic to either @xmath2366 or @xmath2367 , and if @xmath2326 has a torsion , @xmath2326 is isomorphic to @xmath2410 .
[ lem : finitecover ] a finite covering space of @xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath2263 .
put @xmath2411 and take the subgroup @xmath2412 such that 1 .
@xmath2413 converges to @xmath2414 under the convergence @xmath2415 ; 2 .
@xmath2416 .
we consider the quotient @xmath2417 .
let @xmath2418 be a point over @xmath661 .
lifting the @xmath662-gradient flow on @xmath2419 to that on @xmath2420 combined with @xmath2421-gradient flow , we obtain @xmath2422 ( see theorem [ thm : rescal ] ) .
first assume @xmath781 , and note that @xmath2423 converges to @xmath2424 .
by stability theorem [ thm : stability ] , @xmath2425 is homeomorphic to @xmath2263 for a sufficiently large @xmath433 .
next assume @xmath2229 .
then @xmath2423 converges to @xmath2426 , where @xmath2427 .
recall that @xmath2428 for the @xmath2406-fixed point @xmath2429 ( see proposition [ prop : dim2univ2 ] ) . by theorem [ thm :
patch ] , @xmath2261 is homeomorphic to either an @xmath8-bundle or a seifert @xmath8-bundle over @xmath240 . thus @xmath2261 is homeomorphic to either @xmath2263 or a @xmath2430-bundle over @xmath8 , denoted @xmath2431 , where @xmath2430 is a seifert @xmath8-bundle over @xmath2432 with exactly one singular orbit .
suppose that @xmath2261 is not homeomorphic to @xmath2263 , and consider @xmath2433 , where @xmath2434 is a closed interval .
for a point @xmath2435 converging to the singular point locus @xmath2436 and for any fixed @xmath2437 in the interior of @xmath1264 , put @xmath2438 .
take @xmath2439 such that @xmath2440 converges to @xmath2441 , and let @xmath2442 denotes the universal cover of @xmath2430 with the deck transformation group @xmath2443 .
we may assume that @xmath2444 converges to a triplet @xmath2445 . from our assumption on the existence of singular orbit in @xmath2430
, it follows that @xmath2446 for some @xmath2447 .
note that @xmath2448 is related with the seifert invariants of the singular orbit of @xmath2430 ( see proposition 4.3 in @xcite ) .
take @xmath2449 such that 1 .
@xmath2450 converges to @xmath2451 2 .
@xmath2452 . note that @xmath2453 for a @xmath2454-invariant point @xmath2455 .
therefore @xmath2456 repeating this procedure finitely many times , we obtain finite sequences of complete nonnegatively curved surfaces @xmath2432 , @xmath2457 , @xmath2458 , @xmath2459 , seifert bundles @xmath2430 , @xmath2460 , @xmath2458 , @xmath2461 and groups @xmath2462 with @xmath2463 such that the last @xmath2461 contains no singular orbits . letting @xmath2464
be an isomorphism , put @xmath2465 .
then @xmath2466 is homeomorphic to an @xmath8-bundle over @xmath240 , which is homeomorphic to @xmath2263 .
since @xmath1021 is orientable , it follows from lemma [ lem : finitecover ] that @xmath2467 ( see @xcite ) , and therefore @xmath592 has euler number @xmath618 as a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath45 and is homeomorphic to @xmath2263 .
we put a compatible seifert @xmath45-fibre structure on @xmath592 as follows : we again go back to the convergence @xmath2468 in proposition [ prop : dim2univ ] , and consider @xmath2469 , where @xmath2413 is a subgroup of @xmath849 converging to @xmath2470 under the above convergence .
let @xmath2471 , where @xmath2472 is the covering projection .
since @xmath2473 converges to @xmath2474 , by equivariant fibration theorem [ thm : cap ] , we have a @xmath52-equivariant @xmath45-bundle @xmath2475 and hence a @xmath52-equivariant homeomorphism @xmath2476 where @xmath2477 acts diagonally on @xmath2478 ; freely on the @xmath45-factor and rotationally on @xmath2479 .
therefore @xmath2198 is homeomorphic to the diagonal quotient @xmath2480 .
finally we fill @xmath592 with an obvious gluing by the @xmath45-fibred @xmath2481 , of the same type of @xmath52-quotient as @xmath2480 .
we therefore obtain @xmath2482 .
this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : locstrtor ] .
in this section , we prove theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy ] . first we define the fibre space @xmath2483 stated there .
let @xmath16 be a compact @xmath98-dimensional topological manifold with boundary , and let @xmath228 denote @xmath56 or @xmath45 .
let @xmath2484 denote either an @xmath56-bundle over @xmath16 ( if @xmath2485 ) or a seifert @xmath45-bundle over @xmath16 ( if @xmath2486 ) which can be thought of as a main building block of @xmath2483 .
the building blocks of the complement of @xmath2484 are constructed as follows .
consider the following families of compact orientable @xmath4- or @xmath0-manifolds with boundary : 1 .
the family @xmath2487 consists of @xmath238 and a twisted @xmath1264-bundle @xmath239 over the projective plane @xmath65 ; 2 .
the family @xmath2488 consists of @xmath240 and a twisted @xmath1264-bundle @xmath2489 over the klein bottle @xmath66 ; 3 .
the family @xmath2490 consists of @xmath578 and @xmath53-bundles over @xmath56 with euler numbers @xmath2491 , @xmath2492 , and of a @xmath53-bundle @xmath2493 over @xmath65 with euler number @xmath2494 4 .
the family @xmath2495 consists of @xmath578 , @xmath838 and @xmath53-bundles over @xmath56 , @xmath65 or @xmath66 .
note that @xmath2493 can be characterized as the @xmath53-bundle over @xmath65 with boundary homeomorphic to @xmath2496 .
let successive points ( possibly empty ) @xmath2497 of @xmath269 be associated with each component @xmath269 of @xmath878 .
let @xmath671 represent @xmath2498 ( resp .
@xmath2499 ) if @xmath2485 ( resp .
if @xmath2486 ) .
suppose that an element @xmath2500 , called a _
section _ , is associated with each edge @xmath2501 of @xmath269 , and that an element @xmath2502 , called a _ connecting part _ , the part connecting @xmath2503 and @xmath2504 , is associated with each point @xmath2505 , so as to satisfy the following : 1 .
@xmath2506 is a gluing of @xmath2503 and @xmath2504 along their boundaries ; 2 .
let @xmath2507 $ ] and let @xmath2508 be an identification space of @xmath2509 , @xmath2510 , @xmath2511@xmath2512 , where @xmath2513 and @xmath2514 are glued with @xmath2515 and @xmath2516 respectively@xmath489 3 .
note that @xmath2517 has an @xmath228-bundle structure over @xmath269 .
then @xmath2517 is required to be fibre - wise homeomorphic to the component of @xmath2518 corresponding to @xmath269 . letting @xmath2519 denote the disjoint union @xmath2520 , we can glue @xmath2484 and @xmath2519 along their boundary fibres , which is denoted by @xmath2521 the set of points @xmath2522 are called the _ break points _ of @xmath878 associated with the fibre space @xmath2483 . figure 4 illustrates the decomposition in @xmath2483 . from the construction
, @xmath2483 has a singular fibre structure over @xmath16 .
more explicitly , there is a continuous surjective map @xmath2523 such that @xmath248 restricted to @xmath2524 is either an @xmath56-bundle or a seifert @xmath45-bundle and @xmath248 restricted to @xmath878 is a singular fibration whose fibres are ones of a point , @xmath8 , @xmath56 , @xmath65 and @xmath66 determined by the topological types of sections and connecting parts involved in @xmath2519 ( see the figures ( 1 ) @xmath2525 ( 10 ) after lemma [ lem : deform - cap ] ) .
now theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy ] is reformulated in more detail as follows .
[ thm : dim2wbdy - break ] suppose that a sequence of @xmath0-dimensional closed orientable riemannian manifolds @xmath15 collapses to a two - dimensional compact alexandrov space @xmath16 with boundary under @xmath9 .
then @xmath15 is homeomorphic to a fibre space @xmath2483 defined above such that the break points of @xmath878 are contained in @xmath2526 . to prove theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - break ]
, we need to understand the topology of a small metric ball in a collapsed @xmath0-manifold near a boundary point in the limit space . for this reason
, we again concentrate on a local problem , and consider the following situation that a sequence of pointed complete @xmath0-dimensional orientable riemannian manifolds @xmath425 with @xmath426 converge to a pointed @xmath98-dimensional alexandrov space @xmath2196 . throughout the rest of this section , we assume that @xmath32 is a boundary point of @xmath44 .
we consider the local convergence @xmath600 for a sufficiently small positive number @xmath671 . by theorem [ thm : rescal ] , we have sequences @xmath597 and @xmath599 such that * for any limit @xmath603 of @xmath869 , we have @xmath2200 ; * @xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath601 for every @xmath602 and large @xmath19 compared to @xmath433 . in the sequel , we shall study the topology of @xmath592 to prove theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy ] . for a fixed small number @xmath595 ,
let @xmath1128 be a sufficiently small positive number with @xmath2527 , where @xmath2528 . for arbitrary fixed @xmath2529 ,
applying fibration - capping theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] to @xmath2530 and @xmath2531 , we have decompositions @xmath2532 together with compatible fibre bundle maps @xmath2533 let us denote by @xmath504 the fibre , either @xmath56 or @xmath45 , of @xmath2534 .
note that @xmath1668 has two types of fibres , one of which is denoted @xmath2535 .
[ thm : dim2wbdy - text ] under the situation above the following holds@xmath49 1 . if @xmath2202 , then 1 .
@xmath2535 is homeomorphic to either @xmath238 or the twisted product @xmath2536 2 .
@xmath592 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 , @xmath542 with @xmath2537 , or @xmath2538 3 . if @xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath2493 , then 1 .
the universal cover @xmath2208 of @xmath592 satisfies the following commutative diagram @xmath49 @xmath2539 where the diagonal @xmath1853-action is free on the @xmath56-factor and by reflection on the @xmath53-factor@xmath489 2 .
the singular @xmath56-bundle structure on @xmath592 in @xmath454-@xmath2540-@xmath2541 is compatible with the fibre structures on @xmath2542 and @xmath2543 induced from @xmath2534 and @xmath1668 respectively .
2 . if @xmath2258 , then 1 .
@xmath2535 is homeomorphic to either @xmath240 or the twisted product @xmath2544 2 .
@xmath592 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 , @xmath838 , or a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath56 , @xmath65 or @xmath2545 3 . if @xmath592 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath66 , then 1 .
the double cover of @xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath2260 2 . for some @xmath2546 , an @xmath2547-fold dihedral cover @xmath2261 of @xmath592 satisfies the following commutative diagram @xmath49 @xmath2548 where the diagonal dihedral @xmath2549-action is free on the @xmath45-factor and the action on the @xmath53-factor is generated by a rotation and a reflection @xmath489 3 .
the @xmath422generalized@xmath423 seifert @xmath45-bundle structure on @xmath592 in @xmath463-@xmath2540-@xmath2122 is compatible with the fibre structures on @xmath2542 and @xmath2543 induced from @xmath2534 and @xmath1668 respectively .
3 . there is a singular fibre structure on @xmath592 compatible with the fibre structures on @xmath2542 and @xmath2543 induced from @xmath2534 and @xmath1668 respectively .
first we investigate _ case _
a. @xmath2550 is a regular boundary point , namely , @xmath2551 is isometric to @xmath2552 .
the argument below provides a parametrized version of collapsing .
namely , when @xmath425 collapses to a product @xmath2553 , then collapsing phenomenon can be described as a one - parameter family of collapsing of @xmath4-manifolds . the local version of this is already proved in section [ sec : rescal ] .
for sufficiently small @xmath2554 , from @xmath2525 we have a decomposition @xmath2555 and a map @xmath2556 such that both @xmath2534 and @xmath1668 are fibre bundles . to prove theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text ] @xmath454-@xmath1984 and @xmath463-@xmath1984 , it suffices to show that [ prop : capfibre ] @xmath2557 take @xmath729 with @xmath2558 and @xmath2559 , where @xmath2560 is an @xmath199-approximation with @xmath2561 .
since @xmath1085-flow curves are transversal to @xmath2535 and since @xmath2562 are regular on @xmath2563 , @xmath2535 is homeomorphic to @xmath2564 .
now consider the convergence @xmath2565 .
since @xmath162 contains a line , @xmath162 splits isometrically as @xmath2566 .
we may think of a soul @xmath292 of @xmath162 as a soul of @xmath785 .
let @xmath2567 be sufficiently large , and take @xmath2568 with @xmath2569 and @xmath2570 with @xmath2571 and @xmath2572 . from critical point theory ,
we obtain @xmath2573 , and therefore @xmath2574 first we consider _ case _ a - i . @xmath781 . by theorem [ thm : stability - respect ] ,
since @xmath162 has nonnegative curvature , @xmath2576 is homeomorphic to @xmath2577 , by which the topology of @xmath2535 is determined .
suppose that @xmath2550 is a regular boundary point and @xmath781 . 1 . if @xmath2202 , then the soul @xmath292 is either a point or homeomorphic to @xmath65 , and proposition [ prop : capfibre ] holds ; 2 . if @xmath2258 , then @xmath292 is isometric to either a circle or a flat klein bottle and proposition [ prop : capfibre ] holds . if @xmath1731 , then @xmath2578 , which is possible when @xmath2202 .
if @xmath1725 , then @xmath2579 , which is possible when @xmath2258 .
suppose @xmath1721 . if @xmath292 is orientable , then @xmath2580 , which is impossible because @xmath2581 is connected .
if @xmath292 is nonorientable , then @xmath2577 is homeomorphic to a twisted @xmath1264-bundle @xmath2582 , which is possible when @xmath2202 and @xmath2224 and when @xmath2258 and @xmath2583 .
_ case _ a - ii .
@xmath2229 . by theorem [ thm : dim3 ]
, we have a locally smooth , local @xmath8-action @xmath25 on @xmath2584 whose orbit space is homeomorphic to @xmath2585 . let @xmath2586 be the orbit map .
since @xmath2587 consists of parallel lines , with the critical point theory , one can construct such a @xmath25 satisfying @xmath2588 ( recall the construction of @xmath25 in sections [ sec : dim3nobdyloc ] , [ sec : dim3nobdyglob ] and [ sec : dim3wbdy ] ) .
suppose that @xmath2550 is a regular boundary point and @xmath2229 . 1 .
if @xmath2202 , then @xmath785 is homeomorphic to @xmath2144 and @xmath2535 is homeomorphic to either @xmath238 or @xmath2589 2 .
suppose @xmath2258 .
1 . if @xmath785 has no boundary , then either @xmath2590 and proposition [ prop : capfibre ] holds , or @xmath785 is isometric to a flat mbius strip and @xmath2535 is homeomorphic to @xmath241 2 .
if @xmath785 has nonempty boundary , then @xmath785 is isometric to a flat half cylinder and @xmath2535 is homeomorphic to @xmath240 .
suppose that @xmath785 has no boundary .
if @xmath1731 , then @xmath2591 and the number @xmath39 of singular orbits of @xmath25 over @xmath2592 is at most two .
i follows that @xmath2593 is homeomorphic to either @xmath1562 ( if @xmath1138 ) or @xmath2489 ( if @xmath1175 ) , which is possible when @xmath2258 .
if @xmath1725 , @xmath785 is isometric to either a flat cylinder or a flat mbius strip . if @xmath785 is isometric to a flat cylinder , then @xmath2593 is homeomorphic to @xmath2594 , which contradicts . if @xmath785 is isometric to a flat mbius strip , then @xmath2593 is homeomorphic to @xmath2489 , which is possible when @xmath2258 .
suppose that @xmath2595 is disconnected . then @xmath785 is isometric to a product @xmath2596 .
it follows that @xmath2593 is homeomorphic to @xmath2597 , which contradicts .
therefore @xmath2595 is connected . if @xmath1725 , @xmath785 is isometric to a flat half cylinder .
it follows from theorem [ thm : patchwbdy ] that @xmath2593 is homeomorphic to @xmath240 , which is possible when @xmath2258 . if @xmath1731 , @xmath2598 and the number @xmath39 of singular orbits of @xmath25 over @xmath2599 is at most one .
hence @xmath2593 is homeomorphic to either @xmath238 ( if @xmath1141 ) or @xmath239 ( if @xmath1143 ) .
we have just proved proposition [ prop : capfibre ] , and hence theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text ] @xmath454-@xmath1984 and @xmath463-@xmath1984 .
now consider any singular boundary point @xmath179 .
b. @xmath2550 is any singular boundary point of @xmath16 . from theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text ]
@xmath454-@xmath1984 and @xmath463-@xmath1984 , the topology of @xmath1021 is classified as follows : if @xmath2202 , then @xmath2600 and if @xmath2258 , then @xmath2601 we determine the topology of @xmath592 under the boundary conditions and as follows . 1 . if @xmath2202 , then @xmath592 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 , @xmath542 @xmath2602 , or @xmath2603 2 . if @xmath2258 , then @xmath592 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 , @xmath838 , or a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath56 , @xmath65 or @xmath66 .
first suppose @xmath781 .
if @xmath2202 , in view of , we can eliminate the cases when @xmath1725 or @xmath292 is a flat surface , and obtain @xmath454 . in the case of @xmath2258 , it suffices to eliminate the case when @xmath292 is isometric to a flat torus .
this is done in the following [ slem : not - t^2 ] if @xmath2604 and @xmath2258 , then @xmath592 can not be homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath45 .
suppose that @xmath592 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath45 .
then @xmath1021 is an @xmath8-bundle over @xmath45 , and hence @xmath2605 is nilpotent . on the other hand
, it follows from that @xmath2606 .
by van kampen s theorem , @xmath2326 is isomorphic to a form @xmath2607 , where @xmath2608 and is considered as the @xmath1853-extension of @xmath2366 .
let @xmath2609 be a natural inclusion and @xmath2610 the projection .
then @xmath2611 is an injective homomorphism .
since @xmath2612 is not nilpotent , this is a contradiction .
next suppose @xmath2229 .
then in view of , together with @xmath1726 , theorem [ thm : dim3class ] yields the conclusion .
we have just proved theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text ] ( 1)-(b ) and ( 2)-(b ) .
next we show theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text ] ( 1)-(c ) .
suppose @xmath2613 , and let @xmath849 be the deck transformation group of the universal cover @xmath2614 .
take a sequence @xmath630 such that @xmath2267 converges to @xmath2268 .
we may assume that @xmath2615 converges to a triplet @xmath2616 .
if @xmath2024 had nonempty boundary , then we would have a contradiction to theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text ] ( 1)-(b ) since @xmath2617 .
therefore @xmath2024 must be isometric to a flat cone without boundary and @xmath2618 .
it follows from @xmath2619 that the action of @xmath2326 on @xmath2024 is by reflection .
let @xmath2620 . by equivariant fibration theorem [ thm : cap ] , we have a @xmath1853-equivariant @xmath56-bundle @xmath2621 and hence a @xmath1853-equivariant homeomorphism @xmath2622 , where @xmath1853 acts diagonally on @xmath2623 ; freely on the @xmath56-factor and by reflection on the @xmath2624-factor .
therefore @xmath2625 is homeomorphic to the diagonal quotient @xmath2626 .
finally we fill @xmath2627 with an obvious gluing by @xmath2628 .
we therefore obtain @xmath2629 .
this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text ] ( 1)-(c ) . in view of theorem [ thm : locstrtor ]
( 2 ) , the proof of theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text](2)-(c ) is similar and hence omitted .
finally we show theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text ] ( 3 ) .
[ lem : deform - cap ] @xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath2630 . for a sufficiently small @xmath1665 ,
take a @xmath2631-net @xmath2632 of @xmath2633 , and let @xmath2634 be a subset of @xmath15 converging to @xmath2632 . using the flow curves of @xmath2635 , one can easily prove the lemma .
let us denote the two fibres of @xmath1668 in by @xmath2535 and @xmath2636 .
we call the topological types of the triplet @xmath2637 the _ the collapsing data _ around @xmath814 . using the topological information on @xmath2638 given in ( 1)-(b ) and ( 2)-(b )
, we can define a compatible singular fibre structure on @xmath2630 by extending the fiber structure on @xmath2639 by cone , which is indicated below in terms of the collapsing data .
a. @xmath2202 .
\(1 ) ( 2 ) @xmath2640 @xmath2641
\(3 ) ( 4 ) @xmath2642 @xmath2643 _ case _ b. @xmath2258 .
\(5 ) ( 6 ) @xmath2644 @xmath2645
\(7 ) ( 8) @xmath2646 @xmath2647 \(9 ) ( 10 ) @xmath2648 @xmath2649 this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text ] ( 3 ) . in the cases of ( 1 ) , ( 4 ) and ( 6 ) in the above list , @xmath2650 has a product fibre structure .
more precise fiber structures for the cases of ( 4 ) and ( 10 ) are described in theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - text](1)-(c ) and ( 2)-(c ) respectively .
the examples of collapsing related with ( 5 ) and ( 7 ) are given in examples [ ex : d^2d^2 ] and [ ex : p2d2 ] .
to finish the proof of theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - break ] , it suffices to show the following [ lem : non - ext ] if @xmath179 is not an extremal point of @xmath16 , then @xmath2650 has a product @xmath2535-fibre structure over @xmath1264 compatible with those of @xmath2542 and @xmath2543 .
since both @xmath2542 and @xmath2543 depend on @xmath1128 , we rewrite them as @xmath2651 and @xmath2652 respectively .
we have an obvious homeomorphism @xmath2653 in a way similar to lemma [ lem : dim3balltop ] , we have @xmath2654 together with a flow @xmath1226 giving the above product structure on @xmath2655 ( compare also the argument in section [ sec : dim3wbdy ] ) .
this provides a trivial @xmath504-bundle @xmath481 on @xmath2656 .
we also have the trivial @xmath504-bundle @xmath2657 on @xmath2658 . for any @xmath2659 ,
let @xmath2660 denote the parameter at which the flow curve @xmath2661 starting from @xmath2662 meets the fibre @xmath2663 of @xmath481 over @xmath326 .
note that the fibres @xmath2663 are not compatible with the fibres @xmath2563 .
then @xmath2664 , @xmath2665 , presents a one - parameter family of homeomorphisms @xmath2666 of @xmath2667 .
define a homeomorphism @xmath2668 of @xmath2669 by @xmath2670 .
this gives a one - parameter family of trivial @xmath504-bundle joining @xmath2657 and @xmath481 , which defines the required product @xmath2535-fibre structure on @xmath2650 .
[ ex : d^2d^2 ] let @xmath2671 act on @xmath2672 by @xmath2673 where we assume @xmath2674 to make the action effective
. then we have a sequence of metrics @xmath738 on @xmath2672 of nonnegative sectional curvature such that @xmath2675 collapses to @xmath2676 . in this case
, we have the same collapsing data as ( 5 ) .
by gluing @xmath45-equivariantly suitable two @xmath45-action on @xmath2672 as described in example [ ex : d^2d^2 ] , one can construct an @xmath45-action on @xmath542 for any @xmath538 with the orbit space homeomorphic @xmath2030 having two fixed points on @xmath2677 ( see @xcite ) . to be more explicit , let us restrict our attention to the case @xmath2678 .
let @xmath947 be an @xmath302-vector bundle over @xmath56 with a fiber metric such that the unit disk - bundle @xmath2679 has boundary homeomorphic to @xmath1659 .
for any @xmath595 , we have a faithful @xmath45-action on @xmath2680 .
this induces the @xmath45-action on @xmath947 with @xmath2681 . for a @xmath45-invariant metric @xmath680 on @xmath2682
, we have a sequence of metrics @xmath738 on @xmath2682 such that @xmath2683 collapses to @xmath2684 . in this case for any extremal point @xmath2685 , @xmath1145 with the same collapsing data as ( 5 ) .
[ ex : p2d2 ] in the product @xmath2686 , identify @xmath2687 and @xmath2688 for any @xmath2689 and @xmath2690 , where @xmath509 and @xmath2691 denote the antipodal point of @xmath509 and the image of @xmath2499 by a reflection respectively .
we consider the resulting identification space @xmath2692 , which is an @xmath302-bundle over @xmath65 denoted @xmath2693 .
let @xmath738 and @xmath2694 be sequences of rotationally symmetric nonnegatively curved metrics on @xmath53 and @xmath302 such that @xmath2695 and @xmath2696 converge to @xmath1264 and @xmath2697 respectively .
then the product @xmath2698 gives a nonnegatively curved metric @xmath37 on @xmath2699 such that @xmath2700 collapses to the product @xmath2701 .
for the extremal point @xmath2702 corresponding to @xmath2703 , @xmath592 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath2704 , that is @xmath838 , and has the same collapsing data as ( 7 ) .
determine if there exists a sequence of collapsed metrics on a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath56 or @xmath65 with a definite lower sectional curvature bound having the same collapsing data as ( 2 ) , ( 3 ) , ( 8) or ( 9 ) .
let a sequence of pointed complete @xmath0-dimensional orientable riemannian manifolds @xmath425 with @xmath426 collapses to a pointed complete noncompact @xmath98-dimensional alexandrov space @xmath2705 with nonnegative curvature . in this section
, using the results of sections [ sec : dim2nobdysph ] , [ sec : dim2nobdytor ] and [ sec : dim2wbdy ] , we classify the topology of a large metric ball @xmath429 in terms of geometric properties of @xmath2706 .
the classification result will be used in the next section to describe the phenomena of orientable @xmath0-manifolds collapsing to a closed interval .
applying theorems [ thm : dim2nobdy ] and [ thm : dim2wbdy - break ] to the convergence @xmath2707 , we have a singular fibration @xmath2708 with general fibre @xmath504 , either @xmath56 or @xmath45 , where @xmath433 is a large positive number . actually , we have such a singular fibre structure on a small perturbation of @xmath429 , which is homeomorphic to @xmath429 .
let @xmath39 and @xmath1719 denote the numbers of singular fibres of @xmath2708 over @xmath2709 and over @xmath2710 respectively . from the classification of alexandrov surfaces with nonnegative curvature ( cf .
@xcite ) together with theorems [ thm : dim2nobdy ] and [ thm : dim2wbdy - break ] , if @xmath162 has no boundary , then @xmath1744 , and if @xmath162 has nonempty boundary , then @xmath1138 , @xmath2711 and the possible cases are @xmath2712 in the latter case . note also that @xmath1141 if @xmath2202 .
[ thm : dim2class ] under the situation above , the topology of @xmath429 can be classified as follows : _ case _ i. @xmath2713 . 1 .
suppose @xmath162 has no boundary
. 1 . if @xmath2202 , @xmath2714 2 .
if @xmath2258 , @xmath2715 .
2 . suppose @xmath162 has nonempty boundary
. 1 . if @xmath2202 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 , @xmath542 with @xmath2716 or @xmath2603 2 . if @xmath2258 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either @xmath578 , @xmath838 , or a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath56 , @xmath65 or @xmath66 .
_ case _ ii . @xmath1722 . 1 .
suppose @xmath162 has no boundary
. 1 . if @xmath2717 , then the following holds @xmath49 1 . if @xmath2202 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to the space in case @xmath1264-@xmath454-@xmath1984 @xmath489 2 . if @xmath2258 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either the space in case @xmath1264-@xmath454-@xmath1985 , or an @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath2718 , a twisted @xmath8-bundle over @xmath45 doubly covered by @xmath71 .
2 . if @xmath162 is isometric to either a flat cylinder or a flat mbius strip , then @xmath429 is homeomorphic to an @xmath1264-bundle over an @xmath504-bundle over @xmath8 .
2 . suppose @xmath162 has nonempty boundary
. 1 . if @xmath2719 , then the following holds@xmath49 1 .
if @xmath2239 , then @xmath429 is homeomorphic to a gluing of two disk - bundles , denoted @xmath2720 , @xmath80 , over @xmath78-dimensional closed manifolds @xmath2721 with nonnegative euler numbers , where @xmath81 . the gluing is done along one of @xmath238 , @xmath239 @xmath422if @xmath2202@xmath423 , and one of @xmath240 , @xmath2489 @xmath422if @xmath2258@xmath423 , imbedded in the boundaries of @xmath2722 2 . if @xmath1746 , then @xmath429 is homeomorphic to one of the gluings@xmath49 @xmath2723 2 . if @xmath162 is isometric to a flat half cylinder , then the following holds@xmath49 1 . if @xmath2202 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either @xmath838 or an @xmath1264-bundle over a @xmath2724 2 . if @xmath2258 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either @xmath53-bundle over @xmath45 or @xmath66 , or an @xmath1264-bundle over a @xmath66-bundle over @xmath8 .
3 . if @xmath162 is isometric to a product @xmath2057 , then the following holds@xmath49 1 . if @xmath2202 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to either @xmath2725 , @xmath2726 or @xmath2727 2 .
if @xmath2258 , @xmath429 is homeomorphic to a form @xmath2728 , where @xmath2729 and @xmath2730 are ones of @xmath240 and @xmath2489 , and @xmath2731 denotes a gluing along their boundary tori . in case i-(1 ) , @xmath162 is homeomorphic to @xmath302 and has at most one essential singular point . in case i-(2 ) , there are no essential singular points in @xmath2732 and at most one extremal point on @xmath2054 .
hence the conclusions are the direct consequences of theorems [ thm : dim2nobdy ] and [ thm : dim2wbdy - break ] . in case ii-(1)-(i ) , in view of case i-(1 ) and theorem [ thm : dim2nobdy ] we may assume that @xmath2258 and @xmath1175 . therefore @xmath162 is isometric to the double @xmath2159 for some closed interval @xmath1264 . split @xmath1813 with a proper segment into two closed domain @xmath2035 and @xmath2036 each of which contains one of the two essential singular points of @xmath162 . applying theorem [ thm : locstrtor ] to each @xmath2733 , we have @xmath2734 but actually @xmath2735 is homeomorphic to the complete flat manifold defined as the @xmath1853-quotient of @xmath2736 by an involution , where the action of @xmath1853 is diagonal , free on @xmath45 , and orientation reversing on both factors @xmath8 and @xmath2737
. therefore @xmath2738 .
consider case ii-(1)-(ii ) , the case of @xmath1725 .
obviously @xmath429 is an @xmath504-bundle over @xmath432 , and the conclusion follows
. next consider case ii-(2)-(i ) .
if @xmath2239 , then @xmath162 is isometric to @xmath2701 for some closed interval @xmath1264 . split @xmath1813 with a proper segment into two closed regions @xmath2035 and @xmath2036
each of which contains one of the two extremal points in @xmath2054 . applying theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - break ] to each @xmath2733
, we obtain the required gluing . if @xmath1746 , then @xmath162 is isometric to @xmath2739 for some @xmath2085 . by a similar cutting and pasting argument
, we obtain the required gluing .
consider the cases ii-(2)-(ii ) and ( iii ) , the cases of @xmath1725 and @xmath2054 being disconnected respectively . by theorem [ thm : dim2wbdy - break ] together with the facts that the mapping class group @xmath2740 of all homeomorphisms of @xmath65 is trivial and @xmath2741 , we obtain the conclusions .
we are in a position to prove theorem [ thm : dim1 ] .
let us consider a sequence of @xmath0-dimensional closed orientable riemannian manifolds @xmath15 with @xmath426 converging to a @xmath84-dimensional closed interval @xmath2742 .
let @xmath2743 and take @xmath814 and @xmath729 in @xmath15 with @xmath1520 and @xmath2744 . by fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ]
, @xmath15 is homeomorphic to a gluing @xmath2745 for any sufficiently small positive number @xmath671 and any large @xmath19 compared to @xmath671 , where @xmath2746 is homeomorphic to one of the closed 3-manifolds given in theorem [ thm : circle ] .
now we consider the local convergence @xmath600 . by theorem [ thm : rescal ]
, we have sequences @xmath597 and @xmath599 such that 1 . for any limit @xmath603 of @xmath869
, we have @xmath2747 ; 2 .
@xmath592 is homeomorphic to @xmath601 for every @xmath602 and large @xmath19 compared to @xmath433 .
applying theorems [ thm : dim3class ] and [ thm : dim2class ] to the new convergence @xmath2748 together with the boundary condition stated above , we can determine or classify the possible topological type of @xmath2749 as : [ thm : dim1-text ] if @xmath2750 , then @xmath592 is homeomorphic to a disk bundle over a @xmath75-dimensional closed manifold @xmath76 with @xmath77 , or a gluing of two disk - bundles over @xmath78-dimensional closed manifolds @xmath79 , @xmath80 , with @xmath81 , where @xmath76 and @xmath79 have nonnegative euler numbers , and if @xmath82 , @xmath83 is one of the closed 3-manifolds given in theorem [ thm : circle ] .
we have a similar topological information on @xmath2751 .
this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : dim1 ] .
in the situation of theorem [ thm : dim1 ] , the author does not know a specific example of a closed @xmath0-manifold built of gluing of three or four pieces of disk - bundles which admits a sequence of metrics collapsing to a closed interval under @xmath9 . in view of proposition [ prop : find - top ] ,
one of typical problems arising from the results of the present paper is the following : letting @xmath88 be either @xmath2752 or the connected sum of three or four pieces of @xmath1411 , determine if @xmath88 admits a sequence of metrics collapsing to a closed interval under @xmath9 .
[ part : alex ] in part [ part : alex ] , we develop the geometry of complete alexandrov spaces with nonnegative curvature .
most of them are needed in part [ part : collapse ] .
in particular , we establish the generalized soul theorem [ thm : soul ] . throughout this part ,
let @xmath16 be an @xmath91-dimensional complete alexandov space with nonnegative curvature .
we assume @xmath16 to be either noncompact or having nonempty boundary . applying the cheeger - gromoll basic construction
, we obtain a sequence of finitely many nonempty compact totally convex sets of @xmath16 : @xmath2753 with @xmath346 as in section [ sec : ideal ] except that @xmath341 coincides with the minimum set of @xmath2754 if @xmath16 is compact . from the construction
, we have the filtration @xmath2755 , @xmath2756 , by compact totally convex subsets such that 1 . @xmath2757for @xmath2758 2 .
the closure of @xmath2759 coincides with @xmath879 3 .
@xmath2760 .
note @xmath2761 if and only if @xmath16 is compact .
in this section , we are concerned with three local regularity properties of @xmath16 .
we begin with a more general situation described as follows : let @xmath16 be an @xmath91-dimensional complete nonnegatively curved alexandrov space , and suppose @xmath16 has a filtration @xmath2762 by closed totally convex subsets satisfying the same conditions as ( 1 ) , ( 2 ) , ( 3 ) above , which is determined by a convex function @xmath2763 with minimum @xmath618 in such a way that @xmath2764 , where @xmath2765 is the supremum of the values of @xmath2763 .
however we do not assume that each @xmath2766 is compact here .
put @xmath2767 and let us assume @xmath2768 .
a point @xmath2769 is called a _
one - normal point _
_ two - normal point _ ) if there exists exactly one ( resp .
two ) geodesic ray(s ) from @xmath100 perpendicular to @xmath2770 .
note that each point of @xmath2770 is either a one - normal point or a two - normal point ( see @xcite ) .
[ prop : codim1-reg ] under the hypothesis above , suppose that @xmath2771 is a topologically nice point of @xmath147
. then 1 .
@xmath2772 is isometric to the spherical suspension over @xmath2773 2 .
@xmath32 is a two - normal point . in view of proposition
[ prop : concave - rigid ] , it suffices to show only ( 2 ) .
this is done by induction on @xmath91 . under the convergence @xmath2774 as @xmath724 ,
the filtration @xmath2762 gives rise to a filtration @xmath2775 with @xmath2776 satisfying the same conditions as ( 1 ) , ( 2 ) , ( 3 ) above .
this is done as follows .
let @xmath2777 be the limit of @xmath2778 under the convergence @xmath2779 , @xmath2780 . then @xmath2781 . by proposition
[ prop : concave - rigid ] , @xmath2776 .
obviously @xmath2782 we show that any point @xmath677 of @xmath2783 is a two - normal point of @xmath2784 .
note that @xmath2785 and that @xmath2786 has a filtration @xmath2787 with @xmath2788 satisfying the conditions as above .
from the assumption , @xmath2789 and @xmath677 is a topologically nice point of @xmath2772 .
thus we can apply the induction hypothesis to the filtration @xmath2787 to conclude that @xmath2790 is a two - normal point of @xmath2791 and therefore of @xmath2784 .
now suppose that @xmath118 is a one - normal point of @xmath2784 with a unique direction @xmath2792 normal to @xmath2783 . from the previous argument together with proposition [ prop : concave - rigid ] , @xmath2793 is a double cover of @xmath2783 . in particular @xmath2794 . furthermore @xmath2783 is a deformation retract of @xmath2795 for a small @xmath255 . however by the assumption , @xmath2796 , a contradiction . for a subset @xmath2797
, @xmath2798 denotes the union of all the geodesic rays starting from the points of @xmath1222 perpendicularly to @xmath2770 . by propositions [ prop : concave - rigid ] and [ prop :
codim1-reg ] , if @xmath2799 and if any point of @xmath1222 is topologically nice in @xmath16 , then @xmath2798 is a line - bundle over @xmath1222 .
now we go back to our situation in . for simplicity
we put @xmath2800 .
let us first assume that @xmath275 is nonempty .
for a small @xmath2801 , consider the following function @xmath2802 on @xmath2803 , where @xmath2804 the local regularity property we next study is related with the regularity of @xmath2805 .
note that the critical point set of @xmath2805 is contained in @xmath275 .
let @xmath949 be given .
in view of the convergence @xmath2806 , the following lemma is obvious .
[ lem : corner ] for any @xmath949 there exist positive numbers @xmath2807 , @xmath2808 and @xmath2809 such that @xmath2810 for every @xmath2811 and @xmath156 with @xmath2812 . from the filtration @xmath2813
, we obtain the filtration @xmath2814 , satisfying the same conditions as ( 1 ) , ( 2 ) , ( 3 ) in the begining of part [ part : alex ] , of @xmath120 by totally convex sets , in a way similar to the proof of proposition [ prop : codim1-reg ] .
let @xmath1904 be the limit of @xmath269 under the above convergence and @xmath2815 which is the limit of @xmath2816 .
note that @xmath1904 does not necessary coincide with @xmath2817 because of @xmath949 .
we shall also consider the function @xmath2818 on @xmath2819 , where @xmath2820 [ lem : loc - regular ] suppose @xmath20 and @xmath2821 .
then for any @xmath949 and @xmath2822 , there exist positive numbers @xmath2823 , @xmath2824 and @xmath2825 such that for every @xmath2826 and @xmath156 with @xmath2827 1 .
@xmath2828 is regular on @xmath2829 2 .
@xmath2830 is regular on @xmath2831 3 .
@xmath2832 is regular on @xmath2833 . under the convergence @xmath2806 , @xmath2834 , @xmath2835 , @xmath2836 and @xmath2837
converge to @xmath2838 , @xmath2839 , @xmath2840 and @xmath2841 respectively .
therefore it suffices to show that 1 .
@xmath2842 is regular on @xmath2843 2 .
@xmath2844 is regular on @xmath2845 3 .
@xmath2846 is regular on @xmath2847 .
first suppose @xmath2848 .
we show @xmath2849 . for every @xmath2850 ,
let @xmath2851 , @xmath2852 and @xmath2853 be nearest points of @xmath2854 , of @xmath2855 and of @xmath1904 respectively from @xmath100 .
note that @xmath2856 we must show that @xmath2857 for some point @xmath2858 , where @xmath256 is a uniform positive constant not depending on @xmath156 .
letting @xmath580 be a point on the ray from @xmath118 through @xmath100 with @xmath2859 , we obtain @xmath2860 .
we consider the following three cases .
_ case _ 1 . @xmath2861 .
let @xmath2862 and @xmath2863 be such that @xmath2864 and @xmath2865 forms a square in @xmath1904
. now observe that the normal bundle @xmath2866 over @xmath2867 is naturally imbedded in @xmath120 .
let @xmath2868 , @xmath2869 and @xmath2162 be points in @xmath2866 such that @xmath2870 forms a parallelepiped in @xmath2866
. then we have @xmath2871 for some uniform constant @xmath2872 .
this implies that @xmath2873 is @xmath2874-regular at @xmath100 .
_ case _ 2 .
@xmath2875 and @xmath2876 .
let @xmath1364 be the point on @xmath2877 such that @xmath2878 ( @xmath2879 if @xmath2880 ) .
take @xmath2881 such that @xmath2882 and @xmath2883 is sufficiently small .
then @xmath2884 . let @xmath2858 be a point such that @xmath2885 is a midpoint between @xmath2886 and @xmath2887 .
then we have @xmath2888 for some uniform constant @xmath2889 .
this implies that @xmath2873 is @xmath2890-regular at @xmath100 .
_ case _ 3 .
@xmath2875 and @xmath2891 .
note that @xmath2892 in this case .
let @xmath2893 be a small positive number , and let @xmath2894 denote the set of @xmath2895-strained points in @xmath2896 .
by lemma 1.8 of @xcite , we have the following sublemma .
[ slem : extend ] there is a small @xmath255 so that for every @xmath2897 and @xmath2852 with @xmath2898 , there exists a point @xmath677 satisfying @xmath2899 .
now suppose that the required regularity property does not hold in case 3 .
then we have a sequence @xmath199 of positive numbers tending to @xmath618 and a sequence @xmath2900 such that @xmath2901 for any point @xmath2858 , where @xmath2902 and @xmath2903 denote nearest points of @xmath2904 and of @xmath1904 from @xmath1292 respectively , and @xmath2905 . passing to a subsequence
, we may assume that @xmath2906 converges to a pointed nonnegatively curved alexandrov space @xmath2907 .
there exists a filtration @xmath2908 of @xmath2909 by totally convex subsets induced from @xmath2814 as before .
note that @xmath2910 is not necessary the limit of @xmath1904 .
let @xmath2911 , @xmath2912 and @xmath2913 are the limits of @xmath118 , @xmath819 and @xmath805 respectively .
if @xmath2914 , letting @xmath2437 be such that @xmath2915 , we can find a point @xmath2916 such that @xmath2917 for some @xmath2918 .
now it is possible to take @xmath2919 near @xmath2858 such that @xmath2920 for some @xmath2872 .
this yields a contradiction .
thus we may assume that @xmath2921 .
since this implies @xmath2922 , there are exactly two directions at @xmath2923 normal to @xmath2910 ( see proposition [ prop : codim1-reg ] ) .
since we may assume that @xmath2924 , it follows that @xmath2923 is a @xmath2925-straind point .
therefore @xmath2926 for large @xmath19 . from the choice of @xmath156
, it is possible to take @xmath2927 satisfying @xmath2928 for large @xmath19 .
obviously @xmath2929 .
taking @xmath813 as in case 2 , we would obtain the regularity of @xmath2873 at @xmath1292 , a contradiction .
@xmath2930 follows from the existence of @xmath2931 .
@xmath2932 follows from @xmath2930 and the idea of the proof of @xmath2933 .
therefore the details are omitted .
next suppose @xmath2934 .
in this case , sublemma [ slem : extend ] obviously holds , and similar arguments applies . therefore the details are omitted .
the last local regularity property is a purely metric one on the tangent cone .
the following proposition is also important in the proof of theorem [ thm : soul ] .
[ prop : product ] let @xmath2935 be a @xmath0-dimensional complete alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature , and @xmath2936 as in , @xmath2937 .
if @xmath2938 is a topological regular point of @xmath2935 , then @xmath2939 is isometric to the product of @xmath2940 and a euclidean cone .
proposition [ prop : product ] is true for the @xmath4-dimensional complete open alexandrov spaces with nonnegative curvature ( see @xcite ) .
proposition [ prop : product ] is true for every complete alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature if @xmath2938 is a topological regular point of @xmath147 .
let @xmath16 be the euclidean cone over the round sphere @xmath2941 of diameter @xmath2942 .
for a great sphere @xmath2943 of @xmath2941 , the subcone @xmath2944 over @xmath2943 is a locally convex set of @xmath16 .
this shows that proposition [ prop : product ] does not hold for a general locally convex set @xmath292 .
the following example also shows that proposition [ prop : product ] does not hold for a topological singular point @xmath32 .
let @xmath333 be the isometric involution on @xmath2945 defined by @xmath2946 , where @xmath2947 denote a rotation by angle @xmath1466 .
then @xmath2948 is a complete alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature with soul @xmath292 isometric to the spherical suspension over @xmath2000 .
let @xmath2949 be one of the two topological singular points of @xmath2935 .
then @xmath2950 is isometric to the projective space of constant curvature @xmath84 , and the conclusion of proposition [ prop : product ] does not hold in this case . for the proof of proposition [ prop : product ]
, we may assume @xmath2951 .
let @xmath2952 and @xmath2953 from the construction of the soul @xmath292 together with proposition [ prop : concave - rigid ] , every @xmath2792 lies on a minimal geodesic from a point of @xmath389 to a point of @xmath2954 .
thus every element of @xmath2939 lies on an infinite flat rectangle isometric to @xmath2955 spanned by some pair of elements of @xmath389 and @xmath2954 .
we have to show that @xmath2939 is isometric to the product @xmath2956 , in other words , @xmath2772 is isometric to the spherical join @xmath2957 . in view of the previous observation , it suffices to show that there exists a unique minimal geodesic from each point @xmath2958 to each point @xmath2959 .
suppose that there are two minimal geodesics joining @xmath2657 and @xmath481 with directions , say @xmath2960 and @xmath2961 .
let @xmath2962 , @xmath2963 , be the arc - length parameter of @xmath2964 with @xmath2965 .
the direction @xmath2966 define a parallel field @xmath2967 along @xmath2962 such that @xmath2966 , @xmath2967 and @xmath2968}$ ] span a totally geodesic triangle surface of constant curvature @xmath84 with vertices @xmath2657 , @xmath2962 and @xmath481 .
similarly @xmath2969 define a parallel field @xmath2970 along @xmath2962 .
first suppose that @xmath2971 and @xmath2972 .
then it turns out that the surface @xmath2973 with curvature @xmath121 contains two disjoint closed geodesics of length @xmath185 , which is impossible .
thus we may assume that @xmath2974 .
note that @xmath2975 is isometric to a product @xmath2976 , where @xmath2012 is a @xmath98-dimensional euclidean cone over a circle , say @xmath2977 , and the @xmath2737-factor is given by @xmath2954 .
let @xmath2978 and @xmath2979 be directions at @xmath481 given by the minimal geodesics to @xmath2657 with directions @xmath2966 and @xmath2980 at @xmath2657 respectively .
let @xmath2981 , @xmath2982 , be the parallel field joining @xmath2978 and @xmath2979 determined by the geodesics joining @xmath2657 to @xmath481 with directions @xmath2967 .
let @xmath2983 , @xmath2984 , be a unit speed geodesic joining @xmath2979 to @xmath2985 in @xmath2977 , such that @xmath2986 forms the closed geodesic @xmath2977 .
let @xmath2987 denote the point on the geodesic with direction @xmath2983 such that @xmath2988 .
it is easy to see that @xmath2989 @xmath2990 and that @xmath2991 . in particular , @xmath2992 for some integer @xmath2993 .
thus we have a singular surface @xmath228 in @xmath2772 spanned by the geodesics from @xmath2962 to @xmath481 with directions @xmath2967 , @xmath2994 .
let @xmath1222 be a small disk in @xmath2995 around @xmath481 .
note that @xmath389 is a deformation retract of @xmath2996 .
let @xmath2997 be the homotopy class defined by @xmath2998 , which is the @xmath91-th power of a generator of @xmath2999 .
let @xmath3000 be a path intersecting @xmath228 with a unique point in @xmath3001 . from the construction of @xmath228 , it is possible to join the endpoints of @xmath3000 by a path @xmath3002 in @xmath3003 .
let @xmath1 denote the knot defined as the composition @xmath3000 and @xmath3002 .
we set @xmath3004 and consider the homomorphisms @xmath3005\simeq { { \mathbb{z}}},\ ] ] where @xmath2763 is the natural homomorphism .
the above discussion implies that @xmath3006 @xmath3007 .
however since @xmath3008 is one of the generators of a wirtinger presentation of @xmath2326 , @xmath3009 is a generator of @xmath3010 ( cf.@xcite ) , a contradiction .
this completes the proof of the proposition .
throughout this section , let @xmath16 be a complete open alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature .
[ conj : soul ] suppose in addition that @xmath16 is topologically nice .
then there exists a positive number @xmath156 such that 1 .
@xmath16 is homeomorphic to @xmath424 2 .
@xmath421 is homeomorphic to a disk - bundle over @xmath292 , called the normal bundle of @xmath292 .
conjecture [ conj : soul ] is certainly true for @xmath979 ( @xcite ) .
theorem [ thm : soul ] asserts that the conjecture is also true for @xmath97 .
the purpose of sections [ sec : souli ] and [ sec : soulii ] is to prove theorem [ thm : soul ] .
the assumption on the topological niceness of @xmath16 is essential in conjecture [ conj : soul ] .
[ ex : double - cone ] 1 .
let @xmath3011 and @xmath3012 denote the spherical suspension and the half of the spherical suspension of @xmath123 respectively , and let @xmath145 denote the poincare homology @xmath4-sphere .
then the gluing @xmath3013 of @xmath3014 and @xmath3015 along their boundaries is a complete open alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature .
note that @xmath3013 is homeomorphic to @xmath3016 and the soul of it is a point .
however for any @xmath255 , @xmath421 is not homeomorphic to @xmath3017 but to the closed unit cone @xmath3018 over @xmath3019 .
2 . let @xmath3013 be as in ( 1 ) above .
then @xmath3020 is a complete open alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature whose soul is a circle .
note that @xmath3020 is topologically regular .
however for any @xmath255 , @xmath421 is not homeomorphic to @xmath3021 but to @xmath3022 .
example [ ex : double - cone ] ( 1 ) ( resp . ( 2 ) ) shows that the topological niceness assumption in conjecture [ conj : soul ] can not be weakened by the assumption that @xmath16 being a topological manifold ( resp .
being topologically regular ) at least in dimension @xmath146 ( resp .
@xmath3023 ) . of course ,
conjecture [ conj : soul ] is metric by nature .
the topological version of conjecture [ conj : soul ] is [ conj : soul - top ] let @xmath16 be a complete open nonnegatively curved alexandrov space , and suppose that @xmath16 is a topological manifold .
then it is homeomorphic to _ a _ small neighborhood of a soul @xmath292 of it which has the structure of open disk - bundle over @xmath292 .
example [ ex : double - cone ] tells us that the small neighborhood of @xmath292 required in conjecture [ conj : soul - top ] never be a metric one in general . for simplicity
we denote by @xmath3024 conjecture [ conj : soul ] for @xmath3025 and @xmath3026 . from proposition
[ prop : codim1-reg ] , conjecture [ conj : soul ] is true in the case of @xmath3027 : if @xmath3028 , then @xmath16 is isometric to the normal bundle @xmath1799 with the canonical metric . for @xmath1725 , we have if the conjecture @xmath3029 is true , then @xmath3030 is also true .
let @xmath147 be an @xmath91-dimensional complete open alexandrov space of nonnegative curvature which is topologically nice . applying the splitting theorem to the universal covering space of @xmath147
, we see that @xmath147 is isometric to a quotient @xmath3031 , where @xmath3 is an @xmath3032-dimensional complete open alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature whose soul is a point .
since @xmath147 is topologically nice , so is @xmath3 .
therefore the assumption yields @xmath3033 .
thus for @xmath97 , the remaining cases are those of @xmath1731 or @xmath98 . from now on let @xmath16 be as in theorem [ thm : soul ] unless otherwise stated .
let @xmath3034 for simplicity . in this section ,
we consider the case of @xmath2934 .
we begin with the case of @xmath1721 , for which the essential case in the proof is that @xmath1724 or @xmath2224 : if @xmath292 is homeomorphic to either a torus or a klein bottle , then it is flat .
thus the universal covering space @xmath3035 splits as @xmath3036 , where @xmath3037 , and theorem [ thm : soul ] certainly holds .
[ thm : s2 ] theorem @xmath3038 holds in the case of @xmath1721 and @xmath2934 .
consider @xmath3039 for sufficiently small @xmath129 and @xmath595 so that one can apply fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] to @xmath3040 .
now we consider the convergence , @xmath3041 as @xmath2335 .
letting @xmath3042 be the inclusion , and @xmath3043 be a measurable map such that @xmath3044 for every @xmath3045 , we define @xmath3046 , @xmath3047 and @xmath3048 by the same formulae as in @xcite .
@xmath248 is @xmath3049-open and is an almost lipschitz submersion(@xcite ) .
let @xmath3050 , and denote by @xmath3051 the restriction of @xmath248 to @xmath3052 : @xmath3053 since each point of @xmath3054 is almost regular , it follows from fibration theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] ( see the final step of the proof in section [ sec : cap - lip ] ) that @xmath3051 is a topological submersion . for any @xmath3055 ,
let @xmath3056 be a @xmath3057-strainer of @xmath16 at @xmath100 such that 1 .
@xmath3058 gives a @xmath3059-strainer of @xmath292 at @xmath3060 2 .
@xmath3061 then @xmath3062 and @xmath3063 are almost orthogonal to the fibre @xmath3064 , and @xmath3065 and @xmath3066 are almost tangent to @xmath3067 ( see @xcite ) . note also that @xmath3068 , @xmath3069 , are almost tangent to @xmath3070 .
this shows that @xmath3071 is a @xmath3072-open and gives a bi - lipschitz coordinates around @xmath100 .
therefore @xmath3073 is a topological submersion .
thus for @xmath3074 , @xmath3075 provides an @xmath8-bundle on @xmath3076 .
it is clear that the fibre of @xmath3051 is homeomorphic to @xmath2180 . letting @xmath3077 , it is now obvious that @xmath2805 , the restriction of @xmath248 to @xmath3078 , is a locally trivial @xmath53-bundle whose restriction to @xmath3079 is the identity . for any @xmath3080 , there are @xmath3081 and @xmath3082 such that for every @xmath1030 and @xmath156 with @xmath3083 , 1 .
@xmath3084 is a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath3085 2 .
@xmath3086 is the union of the fibres over @xmath3087 for every @xmath3088 .
consider the convergence @xmath3089 , @xmath724 . by proposition [ prop : product ]
, @xmath120 is isometric to the product of @xmath3090 and a flat cone @xmath3091 . since @xmath3092 is a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath3093 , the lemma follows from the regularity of @xmath3094 on @xmath3095 .
we are now going to patch the @xmath53-bundle structures on @xmath3096 and on @xmath3084 for each @xmath3080 .
let @xmath3097 denote the component of @xmath3098 containing @xmath32 , and @xmath3099 .
[ lem : patch ] for small enough @xmath3100 , @xmath3101 is homeomorphic to @xmath3102 .
suppose the lemma does not hold , and put @xmath3103 , with @xmath3104 . under the convergence
@xmath1901 as @xmath724 , @xmath3105 converges to a lipschitz map @xmath3106 it is easy to see that @xmath3107 is the restriction of the projection @xmath3108 , where @xmath3091 denotes a flat cone
. let @xmath3109 denote the limit of @xmath3097 under the above convergence .
the obviously @xmath3110 is homeomorphic to @xmath3111 , where @xmath3112 .
the lemma follows from stability theorem [ thm : stability ] . from the @xmath53-bundle structures on @xmath3113 and on @xmath3114
, we have homeomorphisms @xmath3115 and @xmath3116 . in view of lemma [ lem :
patch ] , these provide a gluing homeomorphism @xmath3117 . letting @xmath724 with @xmath3118 , we conclude that @xmath3119 is homotopic , and hence isotopic , to the identity .
therefore we can patch the @xmath53-bundle structures on @xmath3113 and on @xmath3120 to get a @xmath53-bundle structure on @xmath421 .
this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : s2 ] .
next we consider the case of @xmath3121 .
recall that the critical point set of @xmath2805 is contained in @xmath275 , where @xmath3122 therefore by @xcite , there is an @xmath2805-gradient flow @xmath440 on @xmath3123 .
[ def : grad - nbd ] let @xmath3124 , @xmath3125 , and @xmath3126 .
we say that a subset @xmath3127 with @xmath3128 is is an _ @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle _ over @xmath128 with respect to @xmath440 if the following conditions are satisfied : 1 .
@xmath3127 is a @xmath3129-bundle over @xmath128 with projection , say @xmath3130 2 .
let @xmath3131 denote the total space of the @xmath3132-bundle induced from the @xmath3129-bundle of @xmath454 .
then @xmath3133 is a gluing of two @xmath3134-bundles , say @xmath3135,@xmath3136 , and an @xmath3137-bundle , say @xmath1 , over @xmath128 with projections @xmath3138 and @xmath3139 such that 1 .
there is a neighborhood @xmath1197 of every @xmath3140 in @xmath128 and a locally trivializing homeomorphism @xmath3141 with @xmath3142 , where @xmath3143 is the projection , inducing following homeomorphisms for @xmath3136 @xmath3144 2 .
@xmath3145 , @xmath3146 for some constant @xmath3147 and every fibre of @xmath3139 gives a flow curve of @xmath3148 3 .
the flow curves of @xmath440 are transversal to @xmath3135 the @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle @xmath3127 has _
height @xmath188 _ if @xmath2837 restricted to @xmath3149 takes the maximal value @xmath1128 at every point of @xmath3150 .
we call the subbundles @xmath3135 and @xmath1 , @xmath3135-part and @xmath1-part of @xmath3127 respectively . note that if we are given an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle over @xmath275 with respect to @xmath440 , then parturbing and extending @xmath440 along the fibres of the normal bundle , we can define a new @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient flow defined on @xmath2803 ( see section 10 of @xcite for the definition of pseudo - gradient flows ) .
[ thm : soul1 ] let @xmath20 . if @xmath2934 and if @xmath1731 , then theorem [ thm : soul ] holds . for the proof of theorem [ thm : soul1 ]
, we apply a method similar to one used in @xcite , which actually gives a simplification of the argument there .
[ prop : flow ] under the same hypothesis as theorem [ thm : soul1 ] , for some @xmath201 and any small enough @xmath255 , there exists an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle over @xmath275 of height @xmath3151 with respect to some @xmath2805-gradient flow . applying lemma [ lem : loc - regular ] ( 3 )
, we can take finitely many consecutive points @xmath3152 of @xmath275 with @xmath3153 small enough such that there is an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal @xmath238-bundle @xmath947 over @xmath3154 of height @xmath3151 with respect to some @xmath2805-gradient flow .
let @xmath3155 denote the @xmath53-bundle over the arc @xmath3156 extending @xmath3157 with @xmath3158 and of height @xmath3151. let @xmath3159 denote the union of the @xmath2805-flow curves contained in @xmath3160 and through the total space of the @xmath8-bundle induced from @xmath3155 .
let @xmath3161 denote the @xmath3162-part of @xmath3163 .
since @xmath3164 is homeomorphic to @xmath56 and is locally flat , it bounds a domain @xmath2733 in @xmath3165 homeomorphic to @xmath238 .
now it is clear that @xmath3166 is homeomorphic to @xmath1659 and is locally flat , and therefore it bounds a domain homeomorphic to @xmath578 , which defines a structure of an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal @xmath238-bundle over @xmath3167 .
this completes the proof .
it follows from proposition [ prop : flow ] that @xmath3168 for any @xmath3169 .
we have to prove @xmath3170 . using the @xmath2805-flow curves , it is easy to see that @xmath3171 is contractible . by freedman s celebrated work ( see@xcite )
, it suffices to show @xmath3172 .
put @xmath3173 , and consider the distance function @xmath3174 .
since @xmath3175 is regular near @xmath3176 with @xmath3177 , it follows from a method similar to proposition [ prop : flow ] that @xmath3178 . for simplicity , we put @xmath3179 with @xmath3180 . by a method similar to theorem [ thm : s2 ] , @xmath3181 is a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath3182 if @xmath3169 .
let @xmath3183 be the projection .
@xmath3184 note that each point of @xmath3185 is almost regular .
for any point @xmath100 of @xmath3186 and any point @xmath101 of @xmath3187 , let @xmath3188 be the angle at @xmath101 between @xmath3189 and the fibre @xmath3190 .
since @xmath3191 is bounded from below by a uniform constant depending only on @xmath3192 and since @xmath1466 is almost lipschitz submersion , it follows that @xmath3193 is a circle . by using the @xmath3174-flow curves , we obtain @xmath3194
thus we conclude @xmath3195 .
[ thm : soul2 ] conjecture [ conj : soul ] is true in the case when @xmath3196 and @xmath1731 , where @xmath3197 be arbitrary .
the proof of theorem [ thm : soul2 ] is similar to the 3-dimensional case , and hence omitted ( see section 13 of @xcite for details ) .
in this section , we shall consider the case of @xmath3198 .
we also assume @xmath20 .
[ thm : codim1-c ] let @xmath16 be a @xmath0-dimensional complete open alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature , and suppose that it is topologically regular . if @xmath3198 , then @xmath16 is homeomorphic to @xmath3199 .
[ thm : norm - nbd ] under the same hypothesis as theorem [ thm : codim1-c ] , for some @xmath201 and any small enough @xmath255 , there exists an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle over @xmath275 of height @xmath3151 with respect to some @xmath2805-gradient flow .
let @xmath48 be an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle of @xmath275 with respect to some @xmath2805-gradient flow @xmath440 .
it is possible to deform @xmath440 in @xmath48 along the fibres of @xmath3200 to obtain an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient flow on @xmath2803 .
therefore we have @xmath3201 first we construct an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle over a small neighborhood of any point @xmath32 of @xmath275 .
let @xmath3202 , @xmath2823 , @xmath2824 and @xmath2825 be as in lemmas [ lem : corner ] and [ lem : loc - regular ] .
[ lem : loc - n - bdle ] for any @xmath949 and @xmath2822 , let @xmath156 , @xmath3203 be constants as in lemma [ lem : loc - regular ] .
then there is an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle over @xmath3204 of height @xmath3205 . by lemma [ lem : loc - regular ]
, we have an @xmath2805-gradient flow @xmath3206 on @xmath3207 preserving @xmath875 on @xmath3208 . put @xmath3209 , and @xmath3210 .
we first construct an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle @xmath3127 over @xmath228 with respect to @xmath3206 such that @xmath3211 .
since @xmath3212 , using the regularity of @xmath3213 we can apply the method of the proof of theorem [ thm : soul1 ] ( compare the gluing technique used in section 12 of @xcite ) to @xmath3214 , and obtain the required normal bundle @xmath3127 over @xmath228 such that 1 .
@xmath3215 2 .
@xmath3127 has height @xmath3205 . using the cone structure of @xmath3216 from @xmath32 ,
we extend @xmath3127 to an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle @xmath1197 over @xmath3217 with respect to @xmath3206 .
note that @xmath3150 bounds two disjoint domains @xmath3218 and @xmath3219 of @xmath3220 homeomorphic to @xmath53 . since @xmath3221 is homeomorphic to @xmath56 and is locally flat , it bounds a domain @xmath947 of @xmath3222 homeomorphic to @xmath238 .
let @xmath847 denote the union of all the @xmath3206-flow curves in @xmath3223 meeting @xmath3224 .
note @xmath3225 .
[ slem : part - in - cell ] @xmath3226 is contained in a domain of @xmath3227 homeomorphic to @xmath954 . under the convergence @xmath2806 , the level set @xmath3228 converges to @xmath3229 . since @xmath3230 is a topological manifold , the sublemma obviously follows .
since @xmath3231 and @xmath3226 is locally flat , it follows from sublemma [ slem : part - in - cell ] that @xmath3226 bounds a domain @xmath1239 in @xmath3227 homeomorphic to @xmath238 .
since @xmath3232 is homeomorphic to @xmath1659 and is locally flat , it bounds a domain @xmath1 of @xmath16 homeomorphic to @xmath578 .
therefore the @xmath53-bundle @xmath1197 over @xmath3217 extends to a required @xmath53-bundle structure on @xmath1 over @xmath3233 .
we are going to glue those local pseudo - gradient normal bundles to construct a pseudo - gradient normal bundle over @xmath275 . by the compactness of @xmath275
, we have @xmath3234 by lemmas [ lem : loc - regular ] and [ lem : loc - n - bdle ] , for any @xmath949 and @xmath256 as above , there are @xmath3235 and an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle @xmath3236 over @xmath3237 of height @xmath3151 , where @xmath156 is any sufficiently small positive number .
choose @xmath3152 of @xmath275 such that @xmath3238 covers @xmath275 .
let @xmath1 be a sufficiently fine triangulation of @xmath275 by lipschitz curves with @xmath3239 all of whose simplices of @xmath1 have diameters less than @xmath3240 , where @xmath3241 denotes the @xmath3242-skeleton of @xmath1 , @xmath3243 .
take @xmath3244 small enough compared with @xmath3245 . with the above choice of @xmath814 and @xmath3246 , take @xmath156 small enough compared with @xmath3247 .
now @xmath3248 is an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle over @xmath3249 with respect to some @xmath2805-gradient flow @xmath3250 on @xmath3251 . by an argument similar to that of lemma [ lem : loc - n - bdle ] , it suffices to construct to an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle over @xmath3252 of height @xmath3151 .
let us suppose that we have already constructed an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle @xmath48 over @xmath3253 of height @xmath3151 such that @xmath48 restricted to a small neighborhood of each vertex of @xmath3254 is defined by the restriction of the bundle @xmath3248 for some @xmath814 .
let @xmath3255 .
we shall extend @xmath48 to an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle @xmath3127 over @xmath3256 of height @xmath3151 .
suppose @xmath3257 .
let @xmath1397 and @xmath668 be the endpoints of @xmath299 , and take @xmath3258 with @xmath3259 .
suppose @xmath3260 is nonempty and consists of a point , say @xmath1397 .
the other cases are similar and hence omitted .
we may assume that @xmath3261 on a neighborhood of @xmath1397 in @xmath3254 .
let @xmath3262 and @xmath3263 be the @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundles over @xmath3264}$ ] and @xmath3265}$ ] of height @xmath3151 determined by the restriction of the bundles @xmath3266 and @xmath3267 respectively .
we are going to glue @xmath3262 and @xmath3263 .
let @xmath3268 and @xmath3269 be @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundles over normal ( tubular ) neighborhoods of @xmath3264}$ ] and @xmath3265}$ ] of height @xmath3151 determined by @xmath3266 and @xmath3267 respectively .
take an @xmath2805-gradient flow @xmath3270 on @xmath3251 such that it coincides with @xmath3271 on @xmath3272 , @xmath80 .
let @xmath3273 be the @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle over @xmath3274}$ ] of height @xmath3151 determined by @xmath3266 and extending @xmath3262 .
let @xmath3275 be the @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle over a normal ( tubular ) neighborhood of @xmath3274}$ ] in @xmath275 determined by the restriction of @xmath3266 .
let @xmath3276 . by definition , @xmath3277 via a homeomorphism induced from @xmath3278 , where @xmath3279 $ ] .
consider the family @xmath3280 .
let @xmath3281 and @xmath3282 be such that @xmath3283 provides a small neighborhood of @xmath3284 .
note that any @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient flow @xmath440 defines an embedding @xmath3285 preserving @xmath3286 on @xmath3287 , where @xmath3288 is an open set of @xmath3289 containing the closure of @xmath1239 . by using the topological morse theory in @xcite
, one can slightly deform @xmath440 ( on @xmath3283 ) to an @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient flow @xmath3290 such that @xmath3291 preserves @xmath3286 on @xmath3292 .
consider the @xmath3162-subbundles in @xmath3289 , denoted @xmath3293 and @xmath3294 , of @xmath3273 and @xmath3263 respectively .
take a rectangle @xmath433 in @xmath3289 by which @xmath3293 and @xmath3294 are connected in such a way that 1 .
@xmath3295 2 .
@xmath3296 3 .
@xmath3297 , where @xmath3298 and @xmath3299 denote the bundle projections of @xmath3273 and @xmath3263 respectively .
the union @xmath3300 of all the flow curves of @xmath3301 , a deformation of @xmath3270 as above , through @xmath3302 in @xmath3160 provides a gluing of @xmath3262 and @xmath3263 .
taking a smaller @xmath201 if necessary , we finally obtain the required @xmath2805-pseudo - gradient normal bundle @xmath3303 over @xmath3256 of height @xmath3151 .
this completes the proof of theorem [ thm : norm - nbd ] .
[ thm : soul - c3 ] theorem @xmath3038 holds in the case of @xmath2848 .
this immediately follows from theorem [ thm : codim1-c ] and the following proposition .
let @xmath269 be a @xmath4-dimensional compact alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature and with boundary .
if @xmath269 is a topological manifold , then @xmath269 is homeomorphic to the normal bundle of the soul of @xmath269 .
take a small @xmath255 with @xmath3304 ( theorem [ thm : collar ] ) .
then one can apply the method of @xcite to obtain that @xmath3305 is homeomorphic to the normal bundle of the soul of @xmath269 .
in this section , we assume @xmath147 to be an @xmath91-dimensional complete nonnegaitvely curved alexandov space with boundary , and give a classification of such a space in dimension three . [ prop : codim1 ] suppose that @xmath147 has nonempty boundary . if @xmath3027 and if @xmath147 is a topological manifold , then @xmath147 is isometric to either @xmath2055 or an @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath292 for some closed interval @xmath1264 . by proposition [ prop : codim1-reg ] , for any point @xmath2949 , 1 .
@xmath2772 is isometric to the spherical suspension over @xmath3306 2 . for the directions @xmath3307 perpendicular to @xmath3308
satisfying @xmath3309 , there exist maximal geodesics @xmath3310 with @xmath3311 .
note that @xmath3312 does not depend on the particular choice of @xmath2949 , and that @xmath3313 ( if @xmath3314 ) belongs to @xmath878 .
proposition [ prop : codim1-reg ] then implies that if the normal bundle @xmath1799 is nontrivial , then @xmath147 is isometric to a twisted product of @xmath292 and @xmath1264 for some closed interval @xmath1264 , and that if @xmath1799 is trivial , then @xmath147 is isometric to either @xmath3315 or @xmath2055 .
[ prop : dim1 ] suppose that @xmath147 has nonempty boundary .
if @xmath1725 , then @xmath147 is isometric to a quotient @xmath3316 , where @xmath1806 and @xmath3317 is a complete , contractible alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature and with boundary .
topologically , @xmath3318 is a @xmath3317-bundle over @xmath8 .
just apply the splitting theorem to the universal cover of @xmath147 .
[ thm : cptcomp ] for a complete nonnegatively curved alexandrov space @xmath147 , we have the following splitting@xmath49 1 .
if @xmath964 is disconnected , then @xmath147 is isometric to a product @xmath3319 , where @xmath3320 is a component of @xmath3321 2 . if @xmath964 is compact and connected and if @xmath147 is noncompact , then @xmath147 is isometric to the product @xmath975 . in the riemannian case ,
theorem [ thm : cptcomp ] was proved in @xcite .
however it seems to the author that the method used in @xcite can not be directly applied for the proof of theorem [ thm : cptcomp](1 ) .
we make use of the notion of @xmath84-systole , instead . for a non - simply connected space @xmath162 ,
let @xmath3322 denote the @xmath84-systole of @xmath162 , the infimum of the lengths of non - null homotopic loops in @xmath162 .
let @xmath147 be a noncompact , non - simply connected , complete alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature , and let @xmath292 be a soul of @xmath147
. then @xmath3323 in particular @xmath3324 .
the basic idea goes back to sharafutdinov @xcite . for any non - null homotopic loop @xmath333 in @xmath16 , take a large compact totally convex set @xmath269 such that 1 .
@xmath3325 2 .
there is a distance - decreasing retraction of @xmath269 onto @xmath292 ( the sharafutdinov retraction constructed in @xcite ) , @xmath3326\to c$ ] with @xmath3327 , @xmath3328 . then obviously , @xmath3329 is a non - null homotopic loop in @xmath292 satisfying @xmath3330 .
[ lem : positive ] let @xmath147 be a complete nonnegatively curved alexandrov space with disconnected boundary , and @xmath3320 and @xmath3331 be any distinct components of @xmath878 .
then we have @xmath3332 .
we may assume that @xmath147 is noncompact .
let us consider the double @xmath170 .
let @xmath256 be any path from a point of @xmath3320 to a point of @xmath3331 , and @xmath3333 the double of @xmath256 .
then @xmath3334 is non - null homotopic in @xmath170 and therefore @xmath3335 for a soul @xmath292 of @xmath170 .
this shows that @xmath3336 .
the essential part is ( 1 ) .
suppose that @xmath878 is disconnected , and let @xmath3320 and @xmath3331 be distinct components of @xmath878 , and consider the functions @xmath3337 , which are concave .
put @xmath3338)$ ] .
let @xmath2437 denote the supremum of those @xmath2499 with @xmath3339 .
lemma [ lem : positive ] ensures @xmath3340 . consider the set @xmath3341 . in
what follows , we investigate the geometric properties of @xmath2770 .
note that @xmath2770 is a nonempty closed totally convex subset .
note also that @xmath3342 is nonempty .
we claim that for any @xmath3343 and @xmath3344 with @xmath3345 , @xmath1258 , we have @xmath3346 . for if @xmath3347 , then @xmath3348 . letting @xmath101
be the midpoint of a minimal geodesic joining @xmath1397 and @xmath1364 , we would have @xmath3349 for some @xmath3350 , a contradiction .
next we show that @xmath3351 .
let @xmath3343 and @xmath3344 satisfy @xmath3345 , @xmath1258 .
if we set @xmath3352 to be the set of @xmath3353 with @xmath3354 . then the above claim implies that @xmath1866 is the spherical suspension over @xmath3352 . by the first variation formula , for any @xmath3355 we have @xmath3356 and
hence @xmath3357 showing @xmath3351 .
we now show that @xmath3358 . for any @xmath3343 and @xmath3355 , let @xmath3359\to x$ ] be a minimal geodesic from @xmath100 to @xmath32 .
yields that @xmath3360 , @xmath1258 .
it follows from the concavity of @xmath64 that @xmath3361 and @xmath3362 .
now for any @xmath3363 , take a @xmath3364 satisfying @xmath3365 .
let @xmath3366 be a point on @xmath3367 with @xmath3368 . by the choice of @xmath2437 , @xmath3369 and @xmath3370 .
it follows that @xmath3371 .
let @xmath3372 be a point of @xmath3320 with @xmath3373 .
then @xmath3374 and therefore @xmath3375 .
this also shows that @xmath3366 is uniquely determined by @xmath100 and that @xmath3376 is injective .
thus one can conclude that @xmath2768 .
for every two points @xmath1397 and @xmath3377 of @xmath3320 take @xmath3378 with @xmath3379 . by proposition [ prop : concave - rigid ] , @xmath3380 span a totally geodesic flat rectangle , concluding that @xmath16 is isometric to @xmath3381 $ ] .
next suppose that @xmath878 is connected and compact and that @xmath16 is noncompact .
let @xmath3382 be a ray starting from a point of @xmath878 and consider the busemann function @xmath3383 associated with @xmath333 .
for any sufficiently large @xmath734 , the nonnegatively curved alexandrov space @xmath3384)$ ] has disconnected boundary .
it follows from the previous argument that @xmath1197 is isometric to @xmath3385 $ ] .
letting @xmath3386 completes the proof .
first we recall and reconstruct some @xmath4-dimensional complete open alexandrov spaces with nonnegative curvature which are not topological manifolds(see @xcite ) .
[ ex : flat - orb ] let @xmath2326 be the discrete subgroup of isometries of @xmath954 generated by @xmath3387 and @xmath3388 .
then @xmath3389 is a complete open nonnegatively curved alexandrov space having two topological singular points .
[ ex : sph - orb ] let @xmath292 be a nonnegatively curved alexandrov surface homeomorphic to @xmath56 having two essential singular points , say @xmath272 and @xmath943 . cut @xmath292 along a minimal geodesic joining @xmath272 and @xmath943 .
the result of this cutting , say @xmath784 , is a nonnegatively curved alexandrov surface with boundary .
the double @xmath3390 of @xmath784 has an obvious isometric involution @xmath299 such that @xmath3391 .
consider the @xmath1853-action on @xmath3392 defined by @xmath3393 .
the orbit space @xmath3394 , denoted @xmath3395 , has the two topological singular points @xmath272 and @xmath943 .
this space corresponds to @xmath3396 in example 9.4 of @xcite .
[ ex : tor - orb ] let @xmath292 denote the double of a rectangle @xmath3397\times [ 0,b]$ ] , and @xmath3398 the flat torus defined by the rectangle @xmath3399\times [ -b , b]$ ] . note that @xmath3400 for the isometric involution @xmath299 on @xmath3398 defined by @xmath3401 .
consider the @xmath1853-action on @xmath3402 defined by @xmath3393 .
the orbit space @xmath3403 , denoted @xmath3404 , has four topological singular points .
this space corresponds to @xmath3405 in example 9.4 of @xcite .
[ ex : proj - orb ] let the flat torus @xmath3398 and the isometric involution @xmath299 on @xmath3398 be as in the previous example .
consider the involution @xmath3406 on @xmath3402 defined by @xmath3407 .
let @xmath3408 be the group generated by @xmath299 and @xmath3406 .
consider the @xmath3409-action on @xmath3402 defined by @xmath3393 and @xmath3410 .
the orbit space @xmath3411 is doubly covered by @xmath3412 and has two topological singular points . this orbit space is denoted by @xmath3413 , where we put @xmath3414 .
each space of types @xmath3395 , @xmath3404 and @xmath3413 is a @xmath4-dimensional complete open alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature which is not a topological manifold , and admits the structure of a singular line bundle ; the singular fibre are the geodesic rays starting from the topological singular points .
note that the zero - section @xmath292 of the singular line bundle is the unique soul in each case . here
it should be remarked that no space of type @xmath3415 in example 9.4 of @xcite actually exists since some compatibility condition is not satisfied ! ( see the proof of case @xmath128-@xmath525 of theorem [ thm : dim3wbdy - sp ] below . ) of course , theorem 9.6 in @xcite is true for the @xmath4-dimensional complete open alexandrov spaces with nonnegative curvature which are topological manifolds ( the generalized soul theorem ) , but for non - topological manifolds , it should be modified as follows : [ thm : modify ] every @xmath4-dimensional complete open alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature which is not a topological manifold is either homeomorphic to one of the cone @xmath3416 and @xmath3389 in example [ ex : flat - orb ] , or isometric to one of the spaces of types @xmath3395 , @xmath3404 and @xmath3413 .
the proof of theorem [ thm : modify ] is identical with that of theorem 9.6 of @xcite .
compare the proof of case @xmath128-@xmath525 of theorem [ thm : dim3wbdy - sp ] below .
our concerns are @xmath4-dimensional complete nonnegatively curved spaces with boundary .
let @xmath2499 be a positive number .
[ ex : nonmfd ] 1 .
define a @xmath1853-action on @xmath3417 by @xmath3418 .
then the orbit space @xmath3419 is a complete noncompact nonnegatively curved alexandrov space with boundary having a topological singular point .
note that the boundary of @xmath3419 is homeomorphic to a mbius strip , and that the double of @xmath3419 is isometric to @xmath3395 with @xmath3420 2 .
the identification space @xmath3421\times { { \mathbb{r}}}^2/(t , x)\sim ( t ,- x)\ ] ] is a complete noncompact nonnegatively curved alexandrov space with boundary having a topological singular point .
note that the boundary of this identification space is homeomorphic to @xmath302 and that the double of this identification space is isometric to @xmath3389 in example [ ex : flat - orb ] up to a rescaling of metric@xmath489 3 . for the discrete group @xmath2326 in example [ ex : flat - orb ]
, @xmath3422 is a compact nonnegatively curved alexandrov space with boundary having two topological singular points .
let @xmath3423 denote the totally convex subset of @xmath3395 defined as @xmath3424),\ ] ] which is a compact nonnegatively curved alexandrov space with boundary . here
@xmath2098 is the distance function from the soul @xmath292 .
@xmath3425 and @xmath3426 are defined similarly .
[ lem : dinting ] let @xmath24 be a complete noncompact alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature and with boundary such that for a point @xmath1148 @xmath3427 for any large @xmath428 .
consider one of the following conditions : 1 .
@xmath3428 is homeomorphic to a mbius band@xmath489 2 .
@xmath3428 is homeomorphic to @xmath53 . if @xmath24 satisfies @xmath454 @xmath422resp .
@xmath463@xmath423 , then it is homeomorphic to @xmath3429 @xmath422resp .
@xmath3430\times{{\mathbb{r}}}^2/(1,x)\sim(1,-x)$]@xmath423 .
note that the soul of @xmath24 is a point , say @xmath32 , with @xmath1136 .
suppose first @xmath454 . using the method in the proof of assertion [ ass : b(s , r)capy ]
, we see that @xmath3431 where @xmath48 is an open disk of @xmath3432 .
the proof in the case of @xmath463 is similar and hence omitted .
now we are ready to state the classification result .
[ thm : dim3wbdy - sp ] the @xmath4-dimensional complete nonnegatively curved alexandrov spaces @xmath24 with boundaries are classified as follows@xmath49 if @xmath29 is disconnected , then @xmath24 is isometric to a product @xmath3319 , where @xmath3320 is a component of @xmath29 .
suppose @xmath29 is connected .
a. @xmath24 is compact . 1 . if @xmath1731 , @xmath24 is homeomorphic to either @xmath238 , the unit cone @xmath3433 or @xmath3434 2 .
if @xmath1725 , @xmath24 is isometric to the form @xmath1803 , where @xmath1808 is homeomorphic to @xmath53 and @xmath1806 . in particular , @xmath24 is homeomorphic to a @xmath53-bundle over @xmath1730 3 .
if @xmath1721 , @xmath24 is isometric to one of a flat @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath292 , @xmath3423 , @xmath3425 and @xmath3426 for some @xmath2111 .
b. @xmath24 is noncompact . 1 . if @xmath1721 , @xmath24 is isometric to @xmath3435 2 . if @xmath1725 , @xmath24 is isometric to the form @xmath1803 , where @xmath1808 is either homeomorphic to @xmath2144 or isometric to @xmath2596 for a closed interval @xmath1264 , and @xmath1806 .
in particular , @xmath24 is homeomorphic to an @xmath1808-bundle over @xmath1730 3 .
suppose @xmath1731 . if @xmath24 has two ends , then it is isometric to a product @xmath3436 , where @xmath3437 .
+ suppose that @xmath24 has exactly one end , and let @xmath269 be the maximum set @xmath422possibly empty@xmath423 of @xmath3438 .
then @xmath269 is either empty or of dimension @xmath121 . 1 .
if @xmath269 is empty , @xmath24 is homeomorphic to @xmath3439 2 . if @xmath3196 , @xmath269 is a geodesic ray and @xmath24 is either homeomorphic to @xmath980 or the identification space @xmath3430\times { { \mathbb{r}}}^2/(1,x)\simeq ( 1,-x);$ ] 3 . if @xmath2934 , @xmath269 is homeomorphic to either @xmath302 or @xmath2144 . 1 .
if @xmath3440 , there exists an essential singular point @xmath32 in @xmath269 , and @xmath24 is isometric to the identification space @xmath3441\times \hat c/(t , x)\simeq ( t,\sigma(x)),\ ] ] where @xmath2499 is the maximum of @xmath3438 , @xmath3442 is the double of the result of cutting of @xmath269 along a geodesic ray starting from @xmath32 and @xmath299 is the involution of @xmath3442 such that @xmath3443 2 .
if @xmath3444 , @xmath24 is homeomorphic to @xmath980 . by theorem [ thm : cptcomp ]
, we assume that @xmath878 is connected . by the splitting theorem
, we also assume @xmath3445 .
letting @xmath269 be the maximum set of @xmath3438 , we note that the topological singular points of @xmath24 are contained in @xmath3446 .
let @xmath2499 be the maximum of @xmath3438 .
suppose @xmath24 is compact . to discuss case @xmath128 , we use theorem 9.6 in @xcite and the argument there .
first of all , the conclusion in case @xmath128 certainly holds if @xmath24 is a topological manifold .
suppose @xmath24 is not topological manifold . in case @xmath128-(1 ) , if @xmath3447 , then @xmath24 is homeomorphic to @xmath3433 , and if @xmath3448 , then @xmath24 is homeomorphic to either @xmath3433 or @xmath3449 depending on the number @xmath1710 of the topological singular points of @xmath31 . in case @xmath128-(3 ) , first note that the number of essential singular points of @xmath292 is at most @xmath0 . by proposition [ prop : concave - rigid ]
, @xmath24 is isometric to a singular flat @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath292 with possible singular fibres over essential singular points , say @xmath32 , of @xmath292 .
let @xmath3450 be the natural projection along fibres .
for a small disk neighborhood @xmath1755 of @xmath32 , @xmath3451 is fibre - wise homeomorphic to @xmath3429 in example [ ex : nonmfd ] . now if @xmath1724 , @xmath24 is built from some pieces of @xmath3429 by gluing along boundaries . to realize this gluing , we encounter some compatibility condition .
this observation implies that @xmath16 is isometric to either @xmath3423 or @xmath3425 . if @xmath2224 , the compatibility condition implies that the number @xmath54 of the singular fibres in @xmath24 is two .
because if @xmath235 , take a disk neighborhood @xmath1755 of the singular point @xmath32 as above .
since the line bundle is regular one on @xmath3452 which is homeomorphic to a mbius band , its restriction to @xmath3453 must be trivial .
on the other hand , @xmath3454 is an open mbius band .
therefore the compatibility condition does not hold . now
the universal cover @xmath3455 of @xmath24 is isometric to @xmath3456 , where @xmath3457 is the universal cover of @xmath292 .
thus @xmath24 must be isometric to @xmath3458 .
next consider case @xmath1755 .
if @xmath1721 , using theorem [ thm : cptcomp ] , we easily obtain the conclusion .
suppose @xmath1731 .
in view of the splitting theorem , we assume that @xmath24 has exactly one end . if @xmath24 is a topological manifold , then assertion [ ass : b(s , r)capy ] shows @xmath3459 .
if @xmath269 is empty , @xmath24 is a topological manifold .
therefore we assume that @xmath269 is nonempty . from the concavity of @xmath3438 , every geodesic rays starting from a point of @xmath269
is contained in @xmath269 . in particular
@xmath269 is noncompact .
suppose @xmath3196 .
since @xmath24 has exactly one end , @xmath269 represents a geodesic ray , say @xmath333 .
since every point of @xmath3460 is topologically regular , we assume that @xmath3461 is a topological singular point .
the critical point theory to the map @xmath3462 shows that @xmath24 is homeomorphic to @xmath3463 for every @xmath3464 , where @xmath2499 denotes the maximum of @xmath3438 .
it is easy to see that @xmath3465 is homeomorphic to @xmath3463 .
it follows from stability theorem [ thm : stability ] that the boundary of @xmath3466 is homeomorphic to @xmath65 .
since @xmath3467 is homeomorphic to @xmath53 for any sufficiently small @xmath830 and @xmath3468 , @xmath29 must be homeomorphic to an open mbius band . from lemma [ lem : dinting ] , we conclude that @xmath24 is homeomorphic to @xmath3429 .
suppose finally @xmath2934 .
using the sharafutdinov retraction constructed in @xcite , one can prove that @xmath16 is homotopic to @xmath269 .
if @xmath269 was isometric to @xmath2075 , then @xmath24 would have two ends contradicting the assumption . therefore @xmath269 is homeomorphic to either @xmath302 or @xmath2144 .
suppose @xmath3469 . by proposition [ prop : concave - rigid ]
, there exist exactly two minimal geodesics from any @xmath3470 to @xmath29 , and there exists a unique geodesic from any topological singular point @xmath100 to @xmath29 .
thus we have the structure of a singular flat @xmath1264-bundle on @xmath24 over @xmath269 , which provides a map @xmath3471 whose restriction to the complement of the topological singular point set is locally isometric double covering .
the number @xmath54 of the topological singular points of @xmath24 is at most two . if @xmath237 , @xmath269 would be isometric to the double @xmath3472 for a closed interval @xmath1264 .
it turns out that @xmath29 is the two points completion of a double covering space of @xmath3473 .
this forces @xmath3473 to have a topological double cover by itself , which is impossible . therefore @xmath235 .
the conclusion follows from proposition [ prop : concave - rigid ] with a similar argument .
suppose @xmath3474 . by proposition 11.3 of @xcite ,
any @xmath949 is topologically regular .
thus @xmath3459 . as an application of our argument
, we give a classification of @xmath4-dimensional complete alexandrov spaces @xmath24 with nonnegative curvature in terms of the number of extremal points .
we assume that @xmath24 has nonempty boundary .
let @xmath3475 denote the number of extremal points in @xmath31 .
if @xmath3476 , then @xmath24 is a topological manifold , and the classification of such spaces is given by theorem [ thm : dim3wbdy - sp ] .
hence we assume @xmath3477 .
let @xmath24 be a @xmath4-dimensional complete alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature and with nonempty boundary .
then @xmath3478 and the structure of @xmath24 is described in terms of @xmath3475 as follows . in the below
, @xmath292 is a soul of @xmath24 and @xmath2499 denote the maximum of @xmath3438 . 1 .
if @xmath3479 , @xmath24 is isometric to either @xmath3480 with some closed intervals @xmath3481 and @xmath3482 , or @xmath3483 2 . if @xmath3484 , @xmath24 is homeomorphic to either @xmath238 or @xmath3485 3 . if @xmath3486 , @xmath24 is either homeomorphic to one of @xmath238 , @xmath3433 , @xmath3487 and @xmath980 , or isometric to one of @xmath3423 and @xmath3488 4 . if @xmath3489 , @xmath24 is homeomorphic to one of @xmath238 , @xmath3433 , @xmath980 , @xmath3490\times { { \mathbb{r}}}^2)/(1,x)\simeq ( 1,-x)$ ] and @xmath3429 .
let @xmath269 denote the maximum set of @xmath3438 .
we may assume @xmath269 to be nonempty because of @xmath3477 .
note also that @xmath3491 .
it follows that @xmath3492 and that if @xmath3493 , then @xmath269 is a compact surface , and @xmath24 is also compact .
. then @xmath269 is isometric to either a rectangle @xmath3494 or the double @xmath3495 . if @xmath3496 , the assumption @xmath3479 forces all the boundary points @xmath32 of @xmath269 to be one - normal points in the sense that there is a unique direction at @xmath32 normal to @xmath269 .
this implies that @xmath24 is isometric to @xmath3480 .
if @xmath3497 , it is the soul @xmath292 , and @xmath24 is a singular flat @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath292 with four singular fibres . thus @xmath24 must be isometric to @xmath3425 .
suppose @xmath3484 .
if @xmath269 had no boundary , then @xmath24 would be a singular flat @xmath1264-bundle over @xmath292 with three singular fibres , which is impossible
. therefore @xmath269 has nonempty boundary . in view of lemma [ lem : class - singsurf ] , if there is no topological singular point , then @xmath3498 because the soul of @xmath24 is a point .
if there is a topological singular point , @xmath269 must be the result of cutting of the double @xmath2029 of a square @xmath2030 along the diagonals , and the interior singular point @xmath32 of @xmath269 is the unique topological singular point .
thus theorem [ thm : dim3wbdy - sp ] yields @xmath3499 .
the cases @xmath3500 also follows from theorem [ thm : dim3wbdy - sp ] together with an argument similar to the above argument , and hence we omit the detail . 1 . in the case
when @xmath24 is a complete open alexandrov space with nonnegative curvature , considering the sublevel set @xmath3501 with large @xmath2111 , one can reduce the classification problem for @xmath24 as in theorem [ thm : dim3wbdy - sp ] to that of a compact space with boundary@xmath489 2 . for @xmath91-dimensional compact alexandrov spaces with nonnegative curvature
, the total number of extremal points does not exceed @xmath3502 ( @xcite ) .
recently , the metric classification of nonnegatively curved spaces with maximal extremal points has been proved in @xcite .
[ part : cap ]
let @xmath16 be a @xmath75-dimensional complete alexandrov space with curvature @xmath17 .
now suppose that @xmath878 is nonempty .
let a lie group @xmath847 act on @xmath16 as isometries .
note that the group of isometries of @xmath16 is a lie group ( @xcite ) . later on we shall assume that @xmath3503 is compact .
first we discuss the convergence in @xmath847 .
let @xmath3504 denote the union of @xmath2772 when @xmath32 runs over @xmath16 .
we topologize @xmath3504 by the following convergence : let @xmath3505 and @xmath3506 .
then @xmath3507 converges to @xmath677 if and only if @xmath3508 and @xmath3509 for any @xmath3510 and @xmath3511 with @xmath3512 , where @xmath3513 and @xmath3514 .
note that @xmath3504 is not necessary locally compact .
the following lemma shows that the action of @xmath847 on @xmath3504 is continuous .
[ lem : gp - conv ] a sequence @xmath3515 in @xmath847 converges to @xmath680 if and only if @xmath3516 and @xmath3517 for any @xmath57 , @xmath3518 and @xmath3519 with @xmath3520 .
we may assume @xmath680 to be the identity .
let @xmath3521 , and suppose that @xmath3522 and @xmath3518 converges to @xmath3523 .
then from definition , @xmath3524 converges to @xmath3525 .
the converse is obvious . for any @xmath32
, @xmath3526 denotes the isotropy subgroup of @xmath847 at @xmath32 .
[ lem : ell_p ] for each @xmath57 , there is a nonnegative integer @xmath3527 together with the @xmath3526-invariant isometric splitting @xmath3528 satisfying 1 .
@xmath3529 2 .
@xmath3530 are the @xmath847-invariant splittings .
let @xmath3531 denote the set of all @xmath903 such that there exists a sequence @xmath3532 satisfying @xmath3533 and @xmath3534 . first we show that for any @xmath3535 there exists an @xmath3536 such that @xmath3537 .
let @xmath3532 be as above .
taking a subsequence if necessary , we may assume @xmath3538 for some @xmath3539 .
considering @xmath3540 , we may also assume that @xmath3515converges to the identity .
put @xmath3541 and take @xmath3542 with @xmath3543 , @xmath3544 . passing to a subsequence , we may assume that @xmath3545 converges to a direction @xmath3546 .
in view of @xmath3521 , @xmath3547 .
we conclude @xmath3548 as follows : putting @xmath3549 , we have for any @xmath3550 @xmath3551 where @xmath3552 .
this implies @xmath3553 .
it follows that @xmath3554 converges to @xmath3555 . by the above argument together with the splitting theorem , @xmath3531 spans a euclidean space of dimension ,
say @xmath3527 , in @xmath120 , and we have a @xmath3526-invariant isometric splitting @xmath3528 .
we show @xmath3556 .
suppose the contrary . since @xmath3557 is closed in @xmath120 , we can find sequences @xmath3558 and @xmath3559 such that 1 .
@xmath3560 2 .
@xmath3561 3 .
@xmath3562 and @xmath3563 converge to elements of @xmath3531 and @xmath3564 respectively .
we may assume that @xmath3565 with @xmath3521 .
putting @xmath3566 , we may assume @xmath3567 converges to a direction @xmath2858 in @xmath33 .
by @xmath3521 , we obtain @xmath3568 .
now we claim that @xmath3569 .
otherwise , since @xmath2858 is perpendicular to any element of @xmath3531 , @xmath2858 must be perpendicular to @xmath3570 .
choose a point @xmath100 in the direction @xmath2858 .
set @xmath3571 , @xmath3572 and @xmath3573 .
note that @xmath3574 where @xmath3575 , which implies @xmath3576 where @xmath3577 .
since @xmath3578 , this contradicts the convergence @xmath3568 .
it turns out that @xmath3557 is contained in the hyperplane of @xmath3570 perpendicular to @xmath2858 , which is also a contradiction to the definition of @xmath3527 .
\(2 ) is obvious . in view of @xmath3579
, we consider @xmath3580 for a sufficiently small @xmath255 , where @xmath3581 is defined by using quasigeodesics ( see @xcite ) .
note that @xmath3582 is @xmath3526-invariant .
let @xmath3583 denote the orbit space of @xmath3584 by the diagonal @xmath3526-action defined as @xmath3585 .
remark that @xmath3583 has a natural @xmath847-action and is an @xmath3582-bundle over @xmath3586 .
we assume the following : [ asmp : slice ] for each @xmath57 , @xmath3582 gives a _ slice _ at @xmath32 .
namely @xmath3587 provides a @xmath847-invariant tubular neighborhood of @xmath3588 which is @xmath847-isomorphic to @xmath3583 . in the riemannian case , assumption [ asmp : slice ] is satisfied ( cf .
the author believes that assumption [ asmp : slice ] is satisfied in the present general case , but he does not know the proof yet .
note that assumption [ asmp : slice ] is automatically satisfied if @xmath847 is discrete .
let @xmath191 be another complete alexandrov space with curvature @xmath17 , and let @xmath847 also act on @xmath191 as isometries .
let @xmath3589 denote the equivariant gromov - hausdorff distance between the @xmath847-spaces ( cf .
@xcite for the definition ) .
the following theorem is an equivariant - version of theorem [ thm : orig - cap ] .
see section [ sec : cap ] for the notations below .
[ thm : cap ] let @xmath16 and @xmath847 be as above satisfying assumption [ asmp : slice ] .
we also assume that @xmath3503 is compact . given @xmath75 and @xmath201 there exist positive numbers @xmath202 , @xmath3590 and @xmath3591 satisfying the following @xmath49
let @xmath3592 be a @xmath847-invariant closed domain such that @xmath3593 .
let @xmath13 be an @xmath91-dimensional complete alexandrov space with curvature @xmath17 and with @xmath3594 .
suppose @xmath3595 for some @xmath3596 .
then there exists a @xmath847-invariant closed domain @xmath3597 and a @xmath847-invariant decomposition @xmath213 of @xmath3 into two closed domains glued along their boudaries and a @xmath847-equivariant lipschitz map @xmath214 such that 1 .
@xmath215 is the closure of @xmath216 , and @xmath217 ; 2 . the restrictions @xmath3598 and @xmath3599 are 1 .
locally trivial fibre bundles ; 2 .
@xmath220-lipschitz submersions . in the proof of theorem
[ thm : cap ] below , we generalize the argument in @xcite .
although the basic procedures are similar in several steps , we give the proof for readers convenience .
the following result is of fundamental significance to describe the basic local properties of a neighborhood of a strained point .
[ lem : almisom ] there exists a positive number @xmath3600 satisfying the following : let @xmath3601 be an @xmath131-strainer in @xmath170 at @xmath57 with length @xmath3602 and with @xmath3603 .
then the map @xmath3604 defined by @xmath3605 provides a @xmath3606-almost isometry of the metric ball @xmath3607 onto an open subset of @xmath136 or @xmath3608 , where @xmath3609 . from now on
we assume @xmath3610 for a fixed @xmath3611 and a small @xmath129 .
the purpose of the rest of this paper is devoted to prove theorem [ thm : cap ] in the case of @xmath3612 the general case is similar , and hence the proof will be omitted . by definition , we may assume that for every @xmath57 there exists an admissible @xmath131-strainer @xmath3601 of length @xmath3613 at all points in @xmath3614 .
[ lem : basic ] under the situation above , 1 . for every @xmath3615 with @xmath3616 ,
we have @xmath3617 ; 2 . for every @xmath3618 with @xmath3619 and for every @xmath3620 with @xmath3621
, we have @xmath3622 3 . if @xmath3623 , then for every @xmath3624 and for every @xmath3625 , there exist points @xmath3626 such that @xmath3627 , @xmath3628 and @xmath3629 4 . if @xmath3630 , then for every @xmath3624 and for every @xmath3625 with @xmath3631 , there exist points @xmath3632 and @xmath3633 such that @xmath3627 , @xmath3628 and @xmath3634 \(1 ) follows from lemma [ lem : almisom ] .
( 2 ) follows from lemma 5.6 in @xcite . for the proof of ( 3 ) and
( 4 ) , see @xcite .
we consider @xmath3635 . by contradiction argument
, one can prove the following two lemmas .
[ lem : basic2 ] there exist positive numbers @xmath3636 and @xmath3637 such that for every @xmath3638 and @xmath3639 with @xmath3640 , there exists @xmath3641 with @xmath3642 such that @xmath3643 .
[ lem : basic3 ] there exist positive numbers @xmath3636 and @xmath3637 such that for every @xmath3638 and @xmath3639 with @xmath3644 , there exists @xmath3641 with @xmath3642 such that @xmath3645 .
let @xmath3646 denote the hilbert space consisting of all @xmath2432 functions on @xmath16 with respect to the hausdorff @xmath75-measure , where @xmath847 acts on @xmath3646 by @xmath3647 for any @xmath3648 .
in this section we study the map @xmath3649 defined by @xmath3650 where @xmath3651 $ ] is a smooth non - increasing function such that 1 .
@xmath3652 on @xmath3653 $ ] , @xmath3654 on @xmath3655 ; 2 .
@xmath3656 on @xmath3657 $ ] ; 3 .
@xmath3658 on @xmath3659 $ ] ; 4 .
@xmath3660 .
remark that @xmath3661 is a @xmath847-equivariant lipschitz map . from now on ,
we use @xmath3662 to express positive constants depending only on the dimension @xmath75 .
first we remark that by lemma [ lem : almisom ] there exist constants @xmath3000 and @xmath3002 such that for every @xmath57 , @xmath3663 where @xmath3664 and @xmath3665 denote the hausdorff @xmath75-measure and the volume of a @xmath299-ball in @xmath136 respectively .
we next consider the directional derivatives of @xmath3661 .
for @xmath693 , putting @xmath3666 we have @xmath3667 from now on we use the following norm of @xmath3646 with normalization : @xmath3668 [ lem : df_x ] there exist positive numbers @xmath3669 and @xmath3670 such that @xmath3671 for every @xmath57 and @xmath693 .
use lemma [ lem : basic ] ( 3 ) , ( 4 ) .
[ lem : inj ] there exist positive numbers @xmath3672 and @xmath3673 such that for every @xmath3674 with @xmath3675 , @xmath3676 in particular @xmath3661 is injective .
the proof is straightforward , and hence omitted .
let @xmath3677 be the tangent cone at @xmath32 .
we make an identification @xmath3678 .
the map @xmath3679 naturally extends to @xmath3680 .
next we show that @xmath3681 can be approximated by a @xmath75-dimensional subspace of @xmath3646 .
[ lem : almlinear ] for any @xmath57 , let @xmath3601 be an admissible @xmath131-strainer at @xmath32 .
taking @xmath1257 in @xmath3682 , we have for any @xmath693 , @xmath3683 where @xmath3684 . in particular , @xmath3685 are linearly independent in @xmath3646 .
let @xmath3686 be the @xmath3687-almost isometry defined by @xmath3688 ( see @xcite ) .
it is easy to verify @xmath3689 for every @xmath1571 , from which the lemma follows . thus if @xmath3690 ( resp .
if @xmath179 ) , then @xmath3681 can be approximated by the @xmath75-dimensional subspace @xmath3691 generated by @xmath3692 ( resp . by a @xmath75-dimensional half - space of @xmath3691 ) . in view of lemma [ lem : almlinear ]
, one may say that @xmath3693 is almost linear .
in this section , we construct a @xmath847-invariant tubular neighborhood of @xmath3694 in @xmath3646 in a generalized sense , where @xmath3695 .
let @xmath3696 be the infinite - dimensional grassmann manifold consisting of all @xmath75-dimensional subspaces of @xmath3646 .
for any @xmath57 , let @xmath3697 be as in lemma [ lem : ell_p ] , and let @xmath3698 be as in assumption [ asmp : slice ] .
[ lem : inv ] there exists a @xmath3526-invariant @xmath75-dimensional subspace @xmath3691 of @xmath3646 such that @xmath3699 .
let @xmath3700 be a @xmath3701-dimensional subspace of @xmath3646 which is @xmath3687-close to @xmath3702 .
then @xmath3703 is a @xmath3526-invariant compact subset of @xmath3646 .
since @xmath3703 can be considered as a @xmath3526-invariant subset of @xmath3704 whose diameter is small , we can find a @xmath3526-fixed point , say @xmath3705 , near @xmath3700 by using the center of mass technique on @xmath3704 .
it suffices to put @xmath3706 .
now fix @xmath32 and take @xmath3582 so small that @xmath3707 for all @xmath3708 . for any @xmath3708 and @xmath3709 , we put @xmath3710 , @xmath3711 , where @xmath3712 .
note that @xmath3713 provides a @xmath847-invariant field of @xmath75-dimensional subspaces of @xmath3646 which are @xmath3687-almost tangent to @xmath3714 .
[ lem : gl ] if @xmath3582 is sufficiently small , then @xmath3715 for all @xmath100 , @xmath3716 , where @xmath3717 . since @xmath847 acts on @xmath3696
isometrically , the map @xmath3718 defined by @xmath3719 ) : = g(\pi_p)$ ] is lipschitz with respect to a @xmath847-invariant metric on @xmath3720 .
this implies that @xmath3721 , [ g])$ ] for some constant @xmath2012 .
since it is straightforward to see that @xmath3722 , [ g ] ) \le c_2 d(p , gp)$ ] for some constant @xmath2015 , it follows that @xmath3723 .
if @xmath3709 , @xmath3708 and @xmath3724 , this argument shows that @xmath3725 for sufficiently small @xmath3582 .
next consider the general case when @xmath3726 , @xmath3727 and @xmath3728 for some @xmath680 and @xmath1209 in @xmath847 .
we may assume that both @xmath100 and @xmath101 are close to @xmath1397 .
then the conclusion follows from the above argument and the fact that @xmath3729 is close to @xmath910 .
[ lem : parallel ] for any @xmath3730 or for any @xmath3731 , @xmath3732 where @xmath3733 denotes the hausdorff distance in @xmath3646 .
first suppose that @xmath3730 .
let @xmath3601 be an admissible @xmath3734-stainer in @xmath170 at @xmath32 . for every @xmath3735 take a point @xmath3736 satisfying @xmath3627 and @xmath3737 . taking @xmath481 in @xmath3738 , we have @xmath3739 for all @xmath100 with @xmath3740 .
it follows that @xmath3741 .
if @xmath3731 , take the above @xmath671 from @xmath16 in place of @xmath170 .
then the conclusion follows from a similar argument .
[ lem : diff ] for any @xmath3674 and @xmath388 in @xmath3742 , @xmath3743 note that @xmath3744 for all @xmath100 with @xmath3640 and that @xmath3745 , @xmath3746 .
it follows that @xmath3747 which yields .
let @xmath3748 and let us use the simpler notation @xmath3749 to denote a positive function of type @xmath3750 .
let @xmath3751 be the orbit projection , and for @xmath3752 let @xmath2550 be a point over @xmath3753 .
for a @xmath847-slice @xmath3582 at @xmath32 with @xmath3754 , let @xmath3755 be the @xmath847-invariant neighborhood of @xmath3588 as in assumption [ asmp : slice ] , and @xmath3756 .
we take a finite open covering @xmath3757 of @xmath3503 as above .
[ lem : t ] suppose that @xmath3503 is compact .
then there exists a @xmath847-equivariant lipschitz map @xmath3758 such that 1 .
@xmath3759 if @xmath3760 ; 2 .
@xmath3761 where @xmath3762 is a constant depending only on the @xmath847-action on @xmath16 .
let @xmath3763 be a partition of unity consisting of lipschitz functions associated with @xmath3757 , and set @xmath3764 .
we use the center of mass technique on @xmath3696 . for each @xmath3620 , consider the weighted distance functions @xmath3765 on @xmath3696 with weights @xmath3766 , where @xmath3767 .
since @xmath3768 except finitely many @xmath19 , all @xmath3769 in the righthand side actually lies in some finite dimensional euclidean space @xmath947 .
since @xmath3770 is totally geodesic in @xmath3696 , @xmath3771 has a unique minimum point , say @xmath3772 , on @xmath3770 .
it is straightforward to see that @xmath3773 is @xmath847-equivariant .
a convexity argument also shows that @xmath3398 is lipschitz .
let @xmath3774 be the grassmann manifold consisting of all subspaces of codimension @xmath75 in @xmath3646 , and @xmath3775 the dual of @xmath3398 , @xmath3776 , where @xmath3777 denotes the orthogonal complement of @xmath3772 .
the angle @xmath3778 is defined as @xmath3779 .
lemma [ lem : t ] immediately implies [ lem : n ] suppose that @xmath3503 is compact
. then the map @xmath3780 is @xmath847-equivariant and lipschitz with lipschitz constant @xmath3762 .
now we consider the set @xmath1673 . for each @xmath3639
, let @xmath442 denote the set of directions at @xmath100 consisting of all minimal segments from @xmath100 to @xmath878 .
since @xmath3781 , a center of mass technique on @xmath3782 similar to lemma [ lem : t ] yields [ lem : n ] suppose that @xmath3503 is compact .
then there exists a @xmath847-equivariant lipschitz map @xmath3783 such that 1 .
@xmath3784 ; 2 .
@xmath3785 where @xmath3762 is a constant depending only on the @xmath847-action on @xmath16 . for @xmath3786 ,
let us denote by @xmath3787 the subspace of codimension @xmath3788 generated by @xmath3789 and @xmath3790 , and by @xmath3791 the half space of @xmath3787 containing @xmath3790 and bounded by @xmath3789 .
we consider the `` normal bundle '' @xmath3792 of @xmath3694 as @xmath3793 , where @xmath3794 note that @xmath3792 is @xmath847-invariant . for @xmath2918
, we put @xmath3795 [ lem : tubular ] there exists a positive number @xmath3796 such that @xmath3797 provides a @xmath847-invariant tubular neighborhood of @xmath3694 .
namely 1 .
; 2 . .
suppose that @xmath3798 for @xmath3799 and @xmath3800 .
we first assume @xmath3801 .
case 1.@xmath3802 . put @xmath3803 , and let @xmath3804 and @xmath3805 be such that @xmath3806,@xmath3807 and that @xmath3808
. then lemma [ lem : parallel ] implies that @xmath3809 .
it follows from the choice of @xmath105 that @xmath3810 . on the other hand the fact @xmath3811 ( lemma [ lem : diff ] )
also implies that @xmath3812 .
it follows that @xmath3813 .
putting @xmath3814 and using lemma [ lem : t ] , we then have @xmath3815 thus we obtain @xmath3816 as required .
case 2.@xmath3817 .
apply the above argument to @xmath3818 instead of @xmath3819 .
case 3.@xmath3820 and @xmath3821 .
apply the above argument to @xmath3822 and @xmath3823 instead of @xmath3819 .
let @xmath3824 .
if @xmath1 meet @xmath3825 , we can apply the argument of case 1 to @xmath3819 .
if @xmath1 does not meet @xmath3826 , it is an affine subspace parallel to @xmath3826 , and let @xmath3827 be the affine space generated by @xmath1 and line segment from @xmath1364 to @xmath1 .
then we can apply the argument of case 1 to @xmath3827 and @xmath3823 .
thus we obtain ( 1 ) .
next we shall prove ( 2 ) , which follows from the argument above : we assume case 1 .
the other cases are similar , and hence omitted . for any @xmath3828 with @xmath3829 , @xmath3830 and for any @xmath3831 close to @xmath101 , let @xmath3832 be the @xmath91-plane through @xmath105 and parallel to @xmath3833 , and @xmath668 the intersection point of @xmath3832 and @xmath3834 .
if @xmath3835 is near @xmath1397 , then @xmath3789 meets @xmath3832 at a unique point , say @xmath3836 . with the above argument
, we can observe that @xmath1872 is a homeomorphism of a neighborhood of @xmath1397 in @xmath3837 onto a neighborhood of @xmath668 in @xmath3832 .
hence @xmath3838 as required .
finally we shall finish the proof of ( 1 ) .
suppose that @xmath3839 for some @xmath814 and @xmath2927 with @xmath3840 , @xmath3841 .
for a curve @xmath3842 joining @xmath151 to @xmath272 , put @xmath3843 .
we assert that there exists a continuous map @xmath3844\times [ 0,1]\to { \mathcal}w$ ] such that @xmath3845 , yielding @xmath3846 for any @xmath3847 , a contradiction to the previous argument .
to prove this assertion , consider the set @xmath3848 $ ] such that for @xmath1202 there exists a lift @xmath3844\times [ 0,t]\to { \mathcal}w$ ] of @xmath677 as above .
actually @xmath3849 and the previous argument shows that @xmath1264 is open .
we define a metric of @xmath3792 by @xmath3850 .
then the proof of lemma [ lem : proj ] implies that @xmath3851 from which the closedness of @xmath1264 follows .
next let us study the properties of the projection @xmath3852 along @xmath3792 . by definition , @xmath3853 if @xmath3854 .
[ lem : proj ] the map @xmath3855 is lipschitz continuous .
more precisely , if @xmath3856 are close to each other and @xmath3857 , then 1 .
@xmath3858 ; 2 .
if the angle between @xmath3859 and the fibre @xmath3860 is equal to @xmath910 , then @xmath3861 first we prove ( 2 ) . case 1 .
@xmath3862 .
let @xmath3 be the affine space of codimension @xmath75 parallel to @xmath3863 and through @xmath101 .
let @xmath3864 and @xmath3865 be the intersections of @xmath3866 and @xmath3 with @xmath3867 respectively . let @xmath105 be the point in @xmath3868 such that @xmath3869 , and @xmath3870 the point such that @xmath3871 and @xmath3872 .
an argument similar to that in lemma [ lem : tubular ] yields that @xmath3873 it follows that @xmath3874 .
furthermore the assumption implies @xmath3875 .
therefore we get @xmath3876 on the other hand , since @xmath3877 , @xmath3878 combining the two inequalities , we obtain that @xmath3879 from which @xmath463 follows .
the @xmath1466-image of a small neighborhood of @xmath100 is contained in @xmath3837 .
apply the above argument to the affine subspaces @xmath3880 and @xmath3881 in place of @xmath3882 and @xmath3883 .
case 3 . the other case .
this case can be reduced to the case 1 . for @xmath454 , we assume case 1 .
the other case is similar .
take @xmath3884 such that @xmath3885 .
then @xmath463 implies @xmath3886
in this section , we shall prove theorem [ thm : cap ] .
let @xmath13 be as in theorem [ thm : cap ] .
we assume @xmath3887 and @xmath3888 .
let @xmath3889 and @xmath3890 be @xmath3891-g - approximations such that @xmath3892 , @xmath3893 , where we can take such a @xmath1181 to be measurable and @xmath847-equivariant .
then the map @xmath3894 defined by @xmath3895 is @xmath847-equivariant . since @xmath3896
, the map @xmath3897 is well defined , and lemma [ lem : tubular ] shows that it is @xmath847-equivariant .
it also follows from lemma[lem : proj ] that @xmath248 is a lipschitz map . for every @xmath100 with @xmath3902 , take @xmath3903 such that @xmath3904 , @xmath3905 .
since @xmath3906 , it follows from an argument similar to lemma [ lem : diff ] that @xmath3907 which implies the required inequality .
we prove ( 1 ) .
the proof of ( 2 ) is similar and hence omitted . from the assumption , we can take a point @xmath3928 such that @xmath3929 and @xmath3930 .
put @xmath3931 .
then @xmath3932 since implies @xmath3933 we have the required inequality .
for any @xmath3941 , take @xmath3942 with @xmath3943 and @xmath3944 .
put @xmath3945 , and consider the map @xmath3946 defined by @xmath3947 . for any @xmath3948 ,
take @xmath3949 with @xmath3943 and @xmath3950 .
put @xmath3951 , and consider the map @xmath3952 defined by @xmath3953 .
conversely for every @xmath3960 @xmath422resp .
@xmath3961@xmath423 , there exists @xmath3954 @xmath422resp .
@xmath3957@xmath423 satisfying the above inequality @xmath454 @xmath422resp . @xmath463@xmath423 . we prove ( 1 ) .
the proof of ( 2 ) is similar and hence omitted . by using , and lemma [ lem : compar ]
we get @xmath3964 . lemmas [ lem : diff ] and [ lem : deriv2 ] then imply @xmath3965 for sufficiently small @xmath2111 .
in particular @xmath3966 is almost perpendicular to @xmath3967 .
it follows from [ lem : proj ] that @xmath3968 and hence @xmath3969 .
lemma [ lem : inj ] then implies the required inequality .
since @xmath33 has curvature @xmath121 , we have an expanding map @xmath3995,@xmath3996 .
first we show that @xmath3997 for every @xmath3998 .
let @xmath3999 be such that @xmath4000 .
since @xmath2763 is expanding , we obtain that @xmath4001 now we assume @xmath4002 .
the case @xmath4003 is similar and hence omitted .
the above argument also implies that @xmath4004 is @xmath3970-gromov - hausdorff close to a totally geodesic @xmath96-sphere @xmath4005 in @xmath4006 .
let @xmath4007 be a @xmath3970-approximation such that @xmath4008 for all @xmath4009 .
for a given @xmath903 , an argument similar to implies that @xmath4010 for all @xmath4009 .
remark that for any @xmath101 with @xmath4011 , an elementary geometry yields @xmath4012 where @xmath759 is an element of @xmath4005 such that @xmath4013 .
it follows that for sufficiently small @xmath2111 @xmath4014 therefore by lemmas [ lem : proj ] and [ lem : inj ] we conclude the proof of the sublemma .
suppose @xmath4015 .
since @xmath4016 is a @xmath4017-approximation , we may assume that @xmath4018 .
let @xmath4019\to m$ ] be a minimal geodesic joining @xmath32 to @xmath821 where @xmath4020 . by using lemma [ lem :
basic ] , one can show that @xmath4021 for every @xmath4022 and for every @xmath4023 with @xmath4024 .
let @xmath4025 , and @xmath4026 be such that @xmath4027 .
take a point @xmath101 such that @xmath4028 , @xmath4029 .
implies that @xmath4030 . put @xmath4031 .
it follows from sublemma [ slem : fproj ] and that @xmath4032 where @xmath4033 .
put @xmath4034 , and take any @xmath4035 in @xmath4036 .
then by lemma [ lem : almtang ] @xmath4037 by lemma [ lem : basic ] , we see that for every @xmath4038 with @xmath4039 , @xmath4040 now let @xmath3601 be a @xmath131-strainer at @xmath3753 with @xmath4041 and @xmath4042 be the bi - lipschitz map defined by @xmath4043 put @xmath4044 . combining , and , we get @xmath4045 for almost all @xmath4046 $ ] .
thus we arrive at @xmath4047 from which the conclusion follows . by using lemma [ lem : basic2 ] , we have @xmath4052 for every @xmath4022 and for every @xmath3639 with @xmath3640 .
let @xmath4025 , and @xmath4053 be such that @xmath4054 .
take a point @xmath3641 such that @xmath4055 , @xmath4056 . by an argument similar to the previous one using a @xmath131-strainer @xmath3601 of @xmath170 at @xmath3753 with @xmath4057 , we obtain the required estimate .
we are in a position to complete the proof of theorem [ thm : cap ] .
so far we do not need the assumption that @xmath4065 is empty .
now we use this assumption to prove that both @xmath4016 and @xmath4050 are locally trivial fibre bundle maps . for any @xmath3910 ,
set @xmath4066 , and take an @xmath3734-strainer @xmath3601 at @xmath32 such that @xmath4067 for all @xmath176 .
note that @xmath4068 and @xmath4069 are almost tangent to @xmath228 for @xmath4070 .
this implies that the map @xmath4071 is a bi - lipschitz homeomorphism of a small neighborhood of @xmath32 onto an open subset of @xmath4072 .
it follows that @xmath4016 is a topological submersion and hence is a locally trivial bundle map by @xcite .
the proof for @xmath4050 is similar and hence omitted .
since @xmath4073 is a locally trivial fibre bundle , the conclusion ( 1 ) follows from the generalized margulis lemma of @xcite .
note that @xmath222 is also an almost lipschitz submersion .
therefore by the parametrized versions of theorem 0.5 in @xcite and theorem [ thm : dim1 ] in the present paper , we can get the conclusions ( 2 ) and ( 3 ) respectively .
note that in the present case , we can prove the rescaling theorem corresponding to theorem [ thm : rescal ] by using the ( generalized ) argument of lemma [ lem : split - rescal ] .
the actual proofs of ( 2 ) and ( 3 ) are done by contradiction , and the details are omitted .
99 a. d. alexandrov , _ die innere geometrie der konvexen flchen _ , akademie - verlag , berlin,1955 .
f. bonahon , _ diffotopies des espaces lenticulaires _ , topology , * 22*(1983 ) , 305314 .
g. bredon , _ introduction to compact transformation groups _ , academic press , 1972 . , burago , yu . and gromov , m. and perelman , g. , _ a. d. aleksandrov spaces with curvatures bounded below _ , uspekhi mat .
nauk , * 47*(1992 ) , 2(284 ) , 351 , 222 .
translation in russian math .
surveys * 47 * ( 1992 ) , no .
2 , 158 .
shiohama , k. , _ an introduction to the geometry of alexandrov spaces _ , lecture notes series , * 8 * , research institute of math . ,
global analysis research center , seoul national univ .
, seoul 151 - 742 , korea , 1992 . | arxiv |
1. Chapter 1
AN: So for those still reading Honi A'a I'm still working on it but I don't wanna post what I do have because I'm don't want to give you dedicated readers something I would consider half assed. I will get through it and finish it, promise.
_You have 4 suggestive motions towards you_
Spock looked over the computer screen towards Nyota to make sure her attention was solely on her lunch and not on him as he tapped the screen to load the comments left on his profile. Each looked relatively promising though some more than others.
The first motion that popped up was made by a cheerful looking red-headed Trill, her icon was a picture of a infinity loop with the symbol of the Trillian people.
Her likes and dislikes were nothing that really sparked Spock's interest but he was trying to be as open as possible to his 'dating' experimentation.
T'Pring, though coolly logical, had been quite progressive in her outlook on their relationship. She had tea with him one evening in Shi'karr and spoke to him practically ( as if there would be any other way of Vulcans speaking to one another) about breaking their bond and seeking other avenues for a mate.
" We are a people that embrace Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations and I feel that it behooves us as Vulcans to look for a better bondmate than what we presently have with each other." she said as a matter of fact accepting the tea he poured for her.
It was neither a slight to him or herself, simply the truth. In a culture where the parents find mates for their children mismatch bondmates did occur and he could hardly argue that they were well suited for one another. Though she was the epitome of Vulcan beauty, Spock did not burn for her as he read about in pre-Surak literature and bared witness to on those rare occasions where he caught males misfortunate enough to go into plak-tow publicly.
For T'Pring and Spock, they were polite but always emotionally distant, Spock's complexity when it came to feeling being a bit overwhelming for his mate to take their bond. With such a long life ahead of them would it not be the logical venue for them to split before having children so they could fully live long and prosper with a peace they could not find in each other?
Spock watched as she poured a cup of the brew for him as well, her slender wrist tilting the teapot with a grace that belied her high status. He took the hot mug between his hands and drank as if he were thinking her argument over when in reality he was doing his best to not show his relief. To say that his feelings were mutual was an understatement.
" Well said. Let us make arrangements to meet with a healer before I return to Earth." Spock nodded and sipped at his tea.
She seemed pleased by his acceptance and ordered another pot to drink as they discussed their careers and their plans for the future.
He blinked away the memory and went on to read the Trill's private message.
" Hi Spock, I couldn't help but comment on your profile, it's so rare to see a Vulcan unbonded and so very handsome as yourself on a dating site that I couldn't pass you up! As you can see I'm a Trill and you've probably already read that I'm joined with a symbiot that's had 5 lifetimes experience. None of the other hosts before me have dated or rather bonded with a Vulcan and I'm looking forward to seeing if we make a good pair. What do you think about a date this Tuesday? Message me to let me know and I'll send you my comm number." - Qoraa
Spock was pleased to see that she had intentions of dating for the sake of finding a mate and not a sexual partner.
He replied right away as today was Tuesday and let her knew that he looked forward to meeting her perhaps at a place of her choosing and that he would pay for what expenses they may encounter.
As he tapped send he looked up to see Nyota staring at him.
" What is it, Cadet?" he asked, trying his best to not sound flustered. Or guilty.
" Nothing, you just seem...well...I don't know excited?" she said worrying her ponytail as she grinned at him.
" Is that so? I apologize for my lack of restraint, I did not mean to distract you from your lunch."
She giggled and shook her head, her hair flying free of her fingers. " No, no, Commander, I mean, it's just nice to see you happy."
" I look happy? Was I smiling?" he asked abashed.
She smiled at him softly and looked away to her desk comm, tapping the screen with fluid ease. " No, you weren't smiling with your mouth. Just with your eyes."
" One can smile with their eyes?"
She nodded and looked back at him again. " Sure they can! In fact there's a way to smile with your mouth and not the rest of your face and then if you're really happy and want to show it you smile with both. See, watch me."
She turned in her chair, crossed her legs and straightened her back. " First, a smile with the mouth only."
Spock watched intently as her mouth spread into a wide crescent while the rest of her face remained in place. The effect was unsettling, it was like she was baring her teeth at him.
He nodded when she asked if he taken notice of the expression before going and smiling with her eyes.
Her mouth was motionless while her eyes narrowed, her bottom lids rounding upwards and the light of the fluorescent bulb of his office glittered against her pupils. He had seen her perform this look before with him, when they would talk over their meals together in his office while she graded and he answered his emails but he never knew she was smiling at him. And with that knowledge came the question of why?
Before he could ask she moved onto the last expression. " And finally a smile that touches both the mouth and eyes."
He inhaled slowly as he watched her face lift and widen in pleasure that he wished he could share in feeling. Had she always been so attractive? Alluring? Maybe she had been and he had never noticed, like a flower from a garden that when place into a vase in a stuffy parlor made all the difference with its fragrance and radiant petals but overlooked as just a regular occurrence when left in the sodden ground. Nyota certainly made his office an enjoyable work environment.
" What are the differences in these gestures for humans? When would they apply?" he pressed her for further details. Maybe it would shed some light on her eyes 'smiling' at him.
She looked up and off to the side, tapping her stylus rapidly on the desk and chewing on her bottom lip before she answered. He glances at her thoughtful expression and takes note on how she often does this same motion when she's trying to achieve a solution to an especially troubling problem.
" Well, I'd say that most people would smile with just their mouths in a dismissive gesture in an effort to not hurt the other party's feelings or smile as way dispelling tension from an uncomfortable situation while you would smile with smile with your eyes when you're not at liberty to do so."
" Clarify the last statement."
" Well like if you're in a crowd discussing something serious but you see or think of something funny. Or if you're shy around someone and you're not really sure of yourself but they make you happy."
Nyota looked down at her bag fiddling with the toggle clasp as she said the last part, giving Spock pause. Was she shy around him? She certainly did not appear to fit the definition of such a state when in his presence. She was quite verbose and had no qualms with discussing her differing opinions. Something else to note for later observation.
" And the lastly, when would one smile with both the eyes and the mouth?"
She does the motion with the same ease as T'Pring used to pour his tea, only this time he feels a stirring inside of him, like a flutter of lashes against his cheek along the inside of his ribs. Strange, he shouldn't be experiencing any heart palpitations.
" It's something that comes naturally when you're really happy or pleased."
" I see. You have an agreeable smile and I would wish to see you do it more often." he commented and she blushed back down at her backpack.
" It was not forward of me to ask you to do so was it? I am sure your bonded would be furious with me if he were to hear." he said half apologizing, half fishing for information.
She laughed and Spock felt lulled by the sound of it. The laughter accompaniment to that of her smiling face was all the more pleasing.
" No, my bonded wouldn't be furious because there is no bonded to be had." she quipped between giggles. " I didn't know Vulcans were prone to flattery?"
" We are not."
At this she looked up with curious expression on her face. Perhaps he had confused her and she thought he meant ill when no offense was given. Or maybe she did not like the implications of the stated fact. He wasn't flattering her, simply expressing the truth of what he felt. He would be more circumspect in the future.
A chime sounded on his computer screen and he tapped the incoming message with Qoraa's comm number. She chose a venue that he knew but was across town from was he was now. If he didn't leave within the next 2 minutes he would be late for the next trolley for midtown to go to his apartment to change his clothing.
He logged out and shut down his computer, noting the slight frown marring his TA's face. " Is something amiss?"
Nyota shook her head with a jerk and rubs at her hands as if washing them. " No! No, no...I just umm, I'll see you tomorrow." And with that she tucked her lunchbox away and went back to logging grades into the school secure cloud drive.
He tilted his head and said nothing more before leaving out and heading out to what proved to be an interesting evening.
2. Chapter 2
AN: I like Trills not that you would be able to tell from this entry. Thanks to Valyria and Poorqueequeg for reading this through.
Spock stood apprehensively in the doorway of the restaurant, scanning the crowd with his memory of Qorra's face. Nothing.
He sighed and glanced at the lobster tank, observing the rubber-banded crustaceans with something between pity and mild interest bordering on indifference. She was late. No matter, many species did not adhere to time constraints as Vulcans did and that was something Spock learned shortly after his departure with Pike on the Enterprise. He was hardly put out but the tension of having to 'date' someone felt more like an interview than it did like a good time to pass one's evening. And so far it was safe to say he may go on to consider others for the position.
" Spock? It's you right?" a small voice called out from the entry door. He turned to see a small, handsome woman with brown rosettes framing her face. She smiled and performed a quick ta'al salute before placing her hands back on her clutch. " Hi I'm Qorra."
" I am Spock. Are you ready to dine?"
She beamed and nodded her head vigorously, her spots dancing across his line of vision. " Yes! I'm starving! I didn't get a chance to get lunch today." she admitted as the hostess led them to their table.
" A busy work day?" Spock offered as he dismissed the menu. He already knew it by memory and what he wanted.
Qorra blew her breath out the side of her mouth and rolled her eyes as she grabbed the menu from the hostess and scanned through it. " That's an understatement if I ever heard one! It was a madhouse in the office we had negotiations with a company run and operated by Tellerites to see about what shared business opportunities we could collaborate on and that went as well as trying to get an Romulan to look over the teachings of Surak and admit the errors of their ways. They argue just to argue! Ugh, I dunno, nothing looks good...what's the special?"
The hostess looked on in amazement that anyone could talk so fast and so...inappropriately. Much to her credit the hostess regained her composure and listed off the chef's specials with a tantalizing lilt in her voice.
" Uh, our special this evening is a Martian lobster served on a bed of fresh mushroom risotto accompanied with roasted asparagus with balsamic vinaigrette dressing. Our dessert tonight is chocolate raspberry mousse."
Qorra's eyes bulged as she listened raptly to the pricey dishes and gave a firm nod in agreement. " You talked me into it I'll take it! Spock you'll have the same? Oh yeah I forgot...no meat. Pssh, you're missing out there. My third host was a vegetarian and without a doubt the most dull of all my past lives. Oh! And we'll have a bottle of your best merlot."
Spock raised his eyebrow and closed the menu. " I won't be drinking."
Qorra shrugged and held out the menu for the now very annoyed hostess who was signaling for their waiter to come immediately. " More wine for me I guess! Go on and order I'm starving!"
Spock glanced in the hostess and the waiter's direction, both with a sympathetic look on their face. " I'll have the portobello mushroom ravioli in alfredo with a summer berry salad."
" Excellent pairing, sir." the waiter nodded as he took Spock and Qorra's menus. " I'll have the wine out to you all shortly along with your water."
Spock felt as if the restaurant was constricting around him, pushing him uncomfortably closer to his unruly dinnermate. She was rummaging through her purse now, looking in the mirror and sucking at her teeth as she checked her makeup and hair. When she caught him staring, she clicked close her mirror and smiled at him. It was just with her mouth.
Curious, Spock thought, have I done something to offend her? He could hardly think of what it could be, he'd only said 16 words to her thus far and if the trend of her loquaciousness continued he wouldn't be saying much more.
" So...Spock, what do you do for fun?" she asked propping up her arm and resting her head on the heel of her palm.
This was a surprise, he surely thought she'd proceed to talk about herself. He tucked his napkin into his lap more out of Western terran etiquette than the need to protect his clothing. He never dropped food.
" I enjoy reading poetry, conducting botany experiments, playing 3D chess in the Buena Vista Park, having lunch with friends at the Japanese Tea garden and practicing Suus Mahna at Golden Gate Park."
Halfway through his recitation he noticed Qorra's eyes starting to drift off and linger on a nearby male who was dine with what appeared to be his wife. The man caught her gaze and startled when she winked at him. Both Spock could comment, the Trill perked up at the mention of oohed at the mention of Vulcan martial arts. " Oh cool! You do Suus Mahna? So you ever like kick anybody's ass?"
Spock's brow furrowed and he slide his hands along his thighs. " Do you mean that in the literal sense?"
Qorra threw back her head and groaned in frustration. " No, of course I don't! I mean did you ever beat someone up using Suus Mahna?"
" Unfortunately I have had 37 occasions in which I had to implement the art form to disable someone from hurting myself or my Captain's crew so yes I have."
Qorra looked far more interested now and leaned forward on the table her bright red ponytail swishing behind her like a fox's brush. The comparison made Spock uneasy as she tried to touch his hand. He withdrew hastily and she pouted at his rejection. " Oh c'mon, surely a tall, handsome warrior like yourself isn't scared of little ol' me?" she teased with a sing song voice.
Spock clasped his hands in his lap and lifted his brow once more. " Indeed, I am not frightened of you at all. I simply did not like being touch. And I should clarify that though Vulcan are taller than most humanoid species on average I am not what you would classify as a warrior."
She seemed to ignore him and gave Spock a coy smile. " You don't like to be touched? Nonsense! If that were true there would be far fewer Vulcan..."
He was starting to reply when he felt her leg slide up alongside his own. He looked up toward her face after looking down to confirm his assumption and gazed upon that vixen like expression once more. Her eyes were narrowed and heavy lidded, her nostrils slightly flared but her mouth held the widest, sly smirk he'd ever been given.
" Come now, Spock, surely you liked to be touched...maybe not on your hands but perhaps elsewhere..." she cooed slipping her foot up and towards his crotch.
Reflexively his hands took a hold of her foot and stopped it's steady progress towards his groin.
" I do not like being touched." he restated firmly and released her foot.
" We'll see..." she giggled with a snort.
The server came back saving them both from further interaction. He placed Qorra's lobster down first and she clapped her hands together excitedly. The server had barely put down Spock's first plate when both looked over to notice she had eaten the whole tail and was sucking down the meat out of one of the four claws.
She batted her eyes bashfully and dabbed her mouth with all the grace of a high lady as she chewed the tender meat delicately. " Sorry, I was famished."
" Clearly..." Spock responded with a bit of neutrality though he was more than a little taken aback. I suppose one doesn't list their caveats on their profile he mused as he cut his pasta into clean bite size pieces and got to work on his own meal. Qorra finished her shortly after he started on his salad. The raspberry vinaigrette gave the crumbled feta a tangy zing while the strawberries and walnuts were like little gems hidden among the fresh, unreplicated greenery. He was just about to ask how Qoraa liked her meal when he finished the refreshing, sweet salad when she sighed loudly with a unbecoming pout on her face.
" I thought you'd never finish!" she huffed loudly. Spock didn't know whether to comment on her ravenous appetite that could be compared to that of a tribble or remain silent. She answered his query by moving on into her diatribe after finishing off her fourth glass of wine.
" Look, Sock..."
" Spock." he corrected.
She waved him away and looked annoyed. " That's what I said, Stock! Look, I just think this isn't a good match. I mean you look good enough I guess but really when it comes down to it Smock, you're just too young, too experienced for my vast lifetime. You're just nineteen in Vulcan years..."
" It is Spock and I am in my young twenties in standard years."
She snickered and poured herself another glass as if he said something funny. " You're just a baby. I need someone mature, ya know? *hiccup* Who's got a good life experience already started and not someone who's just tucked a mere, piddly five years of space travel under his belt!"
" I have traveled across federation space long before joining Starfleet. My father is the senior Vulcan ambassador and my mother and I would travel with him whenever the opportunity presented itself."
Qorra shrugged and downed her wine glass contents in one go. " I'm sure that's all fascinating and all but you're just soooo young it's more like I'm babysitting than out on a date! I mean have you ever been to Risa and gone to the sunset festival?"
" I have visited Risa before but saw no need to participate in the festivities. I was there for a chess tournament."
Qorra nearly spit out her newly poured wine when she heard his response and choked to keep it from bubbling out.
She wiped what did manage to dribble passed her lips with the back of her hand and looked at him with as if he grew horns. " You mean to tell me you went to Risa and just played chess?!"
A number of couples eating nearby shot them nasty glances as they tried to eat their meal in peace. With each passing glass the Trill grew louder and louder until she was nearly shouting every time she opened her mouth.
Spock sighed silently to himself and held his hands together in a steepled position.
He had no wish to date Qorra any further, in fact had felt an overwhelming sense of relief in her mention of their incompatibility but could not understand how she saw him as the problem of this potential relationship.
Vulcans don't get offended but then again Spock was only half Vulcan and soon found himself defending his worthiness and correcting his name with every other sentence.
" While on Risa I did find time for other recreation, such as swimming and took my meditations outside..."
" Did you do any recreation with others there?" she leered, wiggling her eyebrows.
" There were many natives who were particularly interested in learning chess from a grandmaster such as myself."
Qorra threw back her head with a groan and pushed away from the table.
" Listen Cock *hiccup*, it was nice meeting you and thanks for the dinner, I guess, it was a little overcooked. Come back and see me when you're about 50 years older though by that time I might have another host body. You like men too right? Well whatever, I see you later, Sop...*hiccup*...and if you don't mind which of course you don't I'll take this with me!" she slurred loudly, swiping up the wine bottle and stuffing the nearly empty bottle into her purse and stumbled off towards the exit.
As soon as the door closed behind her Spock along with the rest of the patrons and servers there at the restaurant breathed a collective sigh of relief.
One date down, three more possibilities to go.
It had to get better from here...right?
3. Chapter 3
AN: thanks for all the reviews, they made me happy :). Now moving right along.
Spock entered his office and was greeted with the spicy scent of Mango black tea. He glance down and to the left and saw Nyota slowly sipping at the hot brew as she tapped and clicked at the PADD before her, loading it with new assignments and deleting old ones.
She paused and looked up to see him observing her and she acknowledge him with a simple nod and statement of his rank but he was watching her face. She did it again, smiled at him with her eyes. It was swift and could have been easily dismissed as just a passing tick of her eyes since her lips remained straight but he had been looking for it.
Hoping for it.
" Commander."
" Cadet." he said with a lackadaisical air that was only betrayed by his intense stare at her tea. It smelled...tempting. His meal last night or rather the company he had while ingesting it had given him slight indigestion.
The micro-expression returned and this time touched the left corner of her mouth, making a coy little smirk. He enjoyed it.
" You know I made you a cup too that should be done brewing by now, it's on your desk." she gestured, jerking her head in that direction.
He nodded in thanks and took his seat behind his desk. He took a small sip, testing the strength and found it to his liking.
Perhaps Nyota had anticipated his wanting tea and his usual arrival time and made him the cup. It wouldn't be out of character for the Cadet but it was certainly a human proclivity of thoughtfulness that he liked to see her exercise. Very unVulcan but endearing nonetheless.
And best of all, nothing like his 'date' last night.
Spock discard the tea bag left inside he went into his routine without a hitch. He moved swiftly through his emails and moved onto overlooking research submitted by his senior class biology students and their spring semester science projects.
After the 4th terraforming theory proposed for Rigel VI Spock found his mind wandering towards the other 3 suggestive motions that were waiting on the dating site.
He could finish assessing his students' progress within an hour he reasoned as he loaded the site onto his work comm.
They were still there flashing in a glaring red, drawing the eye of the user towards the bounty of potential mates like some sort of homing beacon. Spock tapped the one of the bottom since that was the oldest and was very surprised to see an Andorian looking back at him.
If he had any initial thoughts of what he thought of Jovall from her profile picture he would definitely say she seemed confident.
The thumbnail pictures below the header displayed the pale blue alien beauty in athletic feats of strength and endurance, swimming the English channel, a picture of her at the summit of Mount everest (twice), a photo of what he had heard some humans refer to as a selfie of herself freediving out in the pacific ocean, along with various other amazing deeds.
In each photo a wide smirk was painted across her lips, her antenna curved upward in triumph, as her long snowy locks billowed around her face like a snowstorm. Spock look down further and read her profile.
Life is not only an adventure but a challenge. I live mine on the edge, pushing myself to go further, driving my being to faster and never settle for less that my best. I'm looking for someone to take me to that next level. Are you that male?
Pressing his finger against the message she penned, the blurb scrolled out on top of her page.
Hello Spock, I saw your profile and saw that not only did you enjoy exploring but you also excel in a number of different martial arts. I would like to put them and you to the test. If you're up to it let me know a time and place and I'll prepare myself for our sparring. Get ready for a hell of a fight Vulcan.
Spock's eyebrows furrowed slightly in dismay. It was true, he did enjoy sparring and grappling with new rivals but he didn't relish the idea of possibly hurting her. He liked being able to exercised unchecked, letting the himself go unburdened with having to hold back especially in Earth's lower gravity.
He selected pictures and looked the Andorian over. The Mount Everest photo featured Jovall surrounded by a team a sherpas, all decked out in layers and layers of clothing to her light ski suit. She had taken her jacket off and had it thrown over her shoulder as she posed victoriously near the edge. Her arms were well defined and steely looking, a far cry from the delicate tone limbs of his assistant...wait.
Spock tilted his head and looked away and down at his desk. Was he comparing Nyota's arms to that of this Andorian stranger? He glance up and caught the woman in question staring at him curiously.
" Feeling happy again?" she teased. She had finished her tea and moved to put her mug away in her bag and get ready to depart.
" Are you leaving?" he asked, evading the question altogether. No telling where the line would lead.
She shifted her weight, trying to get comfortable in the synthetic cushion of the seat. Spock looked at the wall behind her, not letting his eyes drift to her wiggling hips.
" No, not yet but I was thinking trying out this yoga club on campus, I get so stiff sitting around working that I get in a lot of pain in my back and shoulders. I can only run on the treadmill so much and that's not helping the ache in my back and shoulders." she explained, rubbing at the saddle stitch in her side.
Spock pursed his lips and nodded. " That's quite proactive of you. You may leave early if you would like."
Nyota shook her head as if startled and bit at her lip as she always did when nervous. " I didn't want it to get in the way of your work...I could just leave when I'm done…"
" It is whatever you wish, Cadet. Finish the PADD updates now or tomorrow but I do not need to had them back out until the Friday." he dismissed her as he typed up a time and place for he and Jovall to meet tomorrow afternoon during his lunch break.
" Thank you, Commander." she smiled happily as she gathered her things and quietly left his office.
" No need." he replied softly, looking down at his empty mug.
4. Chapter 4
**AN: So it was kinda fun writing this. Sorry Spock-kam. He suffers. Thanks again for the reviews you all.**
The next morning was surprisingly sunny though the briskness of night's departure still hung heavy in the air.
Spock walked up to the open field, admiring the size of the Golden Gate Bridge as it loomed in the hazy distance with an almost orange hue. He was still getting use to Terran architecture but the rectangular buildings and spiny bridges were growing on him a bit.
Earlier morning joggers were already well into their laps and a large group of elderly men and women were beginning their Tai Chi lessons under their teacher to his far left. Everyone was focused and moving and the scene surrounding Spock gave him a sense of peace.
He enjoyed starting his mornings like this, stretching his limbs and testing his strength, feeling a part of a larger community as he practiced various exercises.
No matter where he went in the universe, Spock observed that beings found ways of staying fit, whether it was only mind or body, exercise was an essential part to a culture's happiness.
Spock set down his gym bag in the dewy grass, shrugged off his track jacket and neatly rested the garment on top with a quick fold. Drawing in a death breath and closing his eyes, he began a series of stretches and bends to warm up his muscles for whatever activity his date chose to do.
He thought though she was adventurous, she was probably also cautious and taking on a Vulcan in his native martial art might be a bit intimidating. He would not hold it against her should she shirk off sparring with him. It would only be logical of her to do so.
Spock was middle of touching his toes when he heard a loud, wolf whistle sound off behind him.
He parted his legs a bit and spotted Jovall smirking behind him with her head tilted in his direction. The early sun framed her in a silhouette and set her hair aglow. " My, my, what big...hamstrings you have."
Spock wasn't quite sure if she was going to say hamstring originally but he took her playfully mood all in stride. Besides he didn't want to know what other word she may have supplied. Meeting your potential mate in person was nerve wracking as is.
" Jovall." he called out, straightening his figure to his full height.
The Andorian sauntered up to him, standing toe to toe with the Vulcan and Spock found himself stepping back for space. Both of their peoples were known for their height and he was unnerved with how close how her face had come to his own with her atennae quivering in front of his bang as if they were trying to scent him.
Disturbing. It would take some time to get use to those.
" Spock." she tested his name on her mouth, her soft sapphire lips curling sly smile. " So good of you to plan such an invigorating way to start the day."
She started stretching alongside him and Spock flicked a quick look of appraisal in her direction.
Her maya blue skin appeared rubbery in texture but the muscles bunching and coiling beneath were definitely steely from regular use.
" I am pleased to hear that you approve." he nodded as he pulled his left arm by the elbow across his chest followed by the other.
They made small talk as they warmed up and Spock felt himself relax into his normal morning routine with his newest companion. This was going well, she was neither dull nor overbearing in conversation and she was clearly quite intelligent.
Who knew, maybe they would be the first Andorian Vulcan mated pair in recent history? It would certain help their race relations. He took a little time to ponder that prospect and what it might mean for his future. He couldn't see any resounding conflicts, though of course visits to either's native planet would in all likelihood be uncomfortable for the other.
" So, what would you like to do first? Run the track? Weighted lunges across the field? Suus Mahna?" she asked, winking on the last suggestion.
" I am amenable to whichever you prefer."
" Well then!" she shouted, leaning down into a crouching first stance with her palms out and open towards him. " Let's get down to business, iil (you)."
Spock raised an arch brow in her direction before settling into the third stance, his arms hanging loose and ready at his sides with his left shoulder pointing in her direction.
The stared at each other for a minute, then another, followed by a third, as they waited for their opponent to lose concentration and have their mind wander off.
By the fifth minute, Jovall seem to sence that she would have a long time to just stand in position if she tried to out wait a Vulcan so with the next passing breeze she sprinted towards Spock.
With alarming speed.
His eye flashed wider and his arm reflexively shot up and blocked her first blow to his head and dove down to stop the second blow to his stomach. Both hits were solid and hard and Spock felt his arm being shaken with each shielding move.
As with most Vulcans when sparring against a different species, Spock went on the defensive, seeking to figure out his opponent's tactics by biding his time in the meanwhile.
So far he had her pegged as aggressive attacker but not one without thought. She was calculating each move, even with how fast she was throwing them. And she was keenly swift, probably from years of practice and discipline. He would have taken time to admire her form and nature aptitude for the art but he was currently busy with trying to ward her off.
When Jovall brought both of her hands back up into first stance Spock sidestepped one of his own between her own, grabbed her wrist in one hand and sent her stumbling backwards with a firm push against her sternum with the other.
She flew away from him in a blur but she caught her balance and used her feet to skid to a stop. As the Andorian recovered she looked up from underneath her pale brows and gave him a slow, devious grin, her antennae curling up and in like horns.
That did not bode well.
When she came at him next, Spock had to check and reaffirm his knowledge that Jovall wasn't a Vulcan grandmaster in disguise.
She fainted moving to his right, which Spock detected but he still wasn't prepared for the speed in which her open palmed uppercut connected with his chin.
His jaw snapped shut, his teeth clicking together like a lock engaging and he was jarred backwards but he didn't have time to fully assess the damage before he had to counter a series of blows that came just slow enough for him to track.
But not all of them and just barely.
Though she was sweating Spock knew that she was far from tired just from the strength of her jabs. It was more likely a result of the sun rising up and blazing back behind her. She seemed to operate on a pattern of threes, two slower, weaker attacks followed by a stronger, faster power move. The last one had been 14 strikes centered around his torso before she smacked the back of his knee with her foot and sent him down on his back to the ground.
He shook his head as his vision spun around in a fuzzy circle but even as he did it looked like a piece of the sky was hurtling towards his head. A fist shaped piece….with a head….and the cloud looked like a lady's hairstyle...
He rolled over and flipped up just as Jovall's hand slammed into the ground, sending dust flying up around her arm. He had no intentions of hurting her but it would appear that she did not feel quite the same on matter.
" C'mon Spock, quit taking it easy on me! I finally have someone strong enough to last a decent amount of time and not be offended when they lose to a female!" she chortled.
Spock inhaled and resumed his earlier stance. As much as he could he would try not to harm her.
Much.
She darted towards him and Spock felt his body tense before dancing into a practice routine of defensive poses. She seemed pleased by the challenge and went after him like a blue hornet.
By now curiosity and excitement had drawn a number of the people exercising in and around the field closer and they silently watched in awe as Spock and Jovall grappled with inhuman speed and strength.
A group of men in the Tai Chi group were shouting out bets and Spock wasn't surprised to hear a good deal of them beating on Jovall's victory. She was by far one of the hardest opponents he had ever taken on and he still wasn't sure if she was coming at him with her full strength.
She jabbed at him twice before spinning with a kick toward his chest which he blocked with both his hands, leaving him defenseless as her arm shot out and clocked him against his ear.
He fell with an undignified "Oof" and the crowd roared and crowed with bloodlust as his body hit the ground chin first. As the dust cleared Spock felt himself being dragged backwards by the ankles. Turning his head he saw Jovall's arms flexing and straining as she powered behind him with a psychotic grin.
" You are sooo much fun, Spock! Who said Vulcans don't know how to let loose?" she cheered, stilling pulling him backwards as he clawed desperately at the ground for purchase.
" Two ta one the blue broad has the Vulcan crying uncle!" yelled one of the Tai Chi members waving a credit chip in the air as his fellow members betted for or against those odds.
Spock could hardly take in the scene around him. Their initial meet up had been so encouraging and now here he was being dragged through the grass by his date who claimed to be having the time of her life doing so.
Her grip loosened as she tired from pulling his heavy bulk across the field and he pushed himself upright and jerked out of her hold. They resumed their game of bob and weave and Spock found himself at a loss for what to do next.
Should he keep dodging her punches until she tired? There was no telling how long that would take. Go on the offense and risk harming her in the process? With some many people here it didn't do to possibly have some of them take offense to him hitting her as they grappled.
" I'm just getting started with you! Hope you don't have plans for the afternoon!"
" Actually…" he panted, sidestepping her last punch and tightly pinching her shoulder with a sting of psi energy. " I do."
Jovall collapsed like a marionette whose strings had been cut and Spock caught her around the waist as she crumpled. A mix of groans and cheers filled the circle that had formed around them. He carried his unconscious date towards the bleachers and laid her delicately across them. He pulled a notePADD from his gym bag and began to compose a message.
Dear Jovall,
Thank you for meeting with me this morning to join our exercise routine. I found the experience...indescribable. However after a brief analysis, I conclude it would be best for us to not pursue a romantic relationship. Thank you for your consideration but I must respectfully decline.
Spock
As he finished punching in his name he placed the device into Jovall's hand, who amazingly was already coming too and looking about her surroundings like a bear just coming out of hibernation. She spotted him and gave him a dreamy smile and then quizzically looked down at the PADD in her hand.
" It was interesting to meet you. Perhaps we will spar again in the future...but not too soon. I have to get work. Excuse me."
And with that he was limping off the field towards the hovertrolley with his bag bouncing against his bruised body. He was probably every shade of green imaginable.
" Anytime Vulcan! I can't wait to take you on again!" Jovall slurred after him.
Spock ran faster.
End file.
| fanfiction |
granular cell tumour ( gct)s are usually benign soft - tissue neoplasms that appear in the form of solitary small nodules which may arise at any sites of the body and at most detected in the oral cavity .
this tumour often presents as a single lesion , while multifocal or synchronous presentations are very rare .
furthermore , malignant counterpart of gcts rarely have been reported .
through subsequent immunohistochemical methods ,
characteristic of gct has been identified as a neural lesion and thought to derivate from nerve sheath but histogenesis still remains controversial .
here ,
we report the first case of synchronous mediastinal and colonic gcts diagnosed by routine screening in a patient with a prior surgery for breast cancer .
a 3 2-cm posterior mediastinal mass was discovered in january 2011 on a computed tomography ( ct ) scan in a 52-year - old woman with a medical history of status - post right modified radical mastectomy in november 2007 for a t2n1m0 , stage 2b invasive ductal carcinoma of the breast .
video - assisted thoracoscopic removal was planned and performed under general anaesthesia with double - lumen endotracheal tube .
inspection of the left hemithorax revealed a 2.5 cm mass in the left paravertebral area near the apex of the lung [ figure 1 ] .
after a 9 month of follow - up , screening colonoscopy revealed a submucosal mass measuring approximately 1 cm in diameter [ figure 2a ] .
because of this , the colon was evaluated as a part of the screening program .
the mass was excised en bloc by endoscopic mucosal resection ( emr ) using a snare [ figure 2b ] .
video - assisted thoracoscopic image of the posterior mediastinal mass ( a ) submucosal mass in hepatic flexure ( b ) endoscopic appearance of the operative field after excision macroscopic examination revealed submucosal lesion measuring 1.0 1.0 0.8 cm with a hard consistency . in cut sections , a solid lesion that was composed of yellowish and whitish portions was detected .
h and e - stained sections of the lesion revealed a tumour , which was located in the submucosa and partly in the mucosa [ figure 3a ] .
the tumour cells with abundant granular eosinophilic cytoplasm were containing acidophilic periodic acid - schiff ( pas)-positive diastase - resistant granules [ figure 3b ] .
( a ) tumour with granular cells , beneath the colonic surface epithelium ( h and e 200 ) , ( b ) positive for periodic acid - schiff ( pas 200 ) , ( c ) diffuse and strong s-100 protein positivity in the tumour ( immunohistochemical staining , s-100 protein ) immunohistochemical evaluation with a broader panel of antibodies of the mediastinal and colonic lesion were carried out again and revealed similar and immunohistological patterns , and the diagnosis was consistent with gct .
lesions of mediastinum described in the literature previously were located mostly in the posterior mediastinum , upper mediastinum close to trachea and recurrent nerve . although there have been reports of asymptomatic patients , cough , dyspnoea , wheezing , chest pain , dysphagia , hoarseness are the most often symptoms .
video - assisted thoracoscopic surgery ( vats ) , mediastinoscopy , transtracheal biopsy , ct - guided biopsy are some of the diagnostic modalities . in our case , asymptomatic mediastinal gct was located in the posterior mediastinum and video - assisted thoracoscopic excision was performed . in general , gastrointestinal gcts
are submucosal lesions that measure less than 2 cm in diameter and are covered by normal mucosa .
it is widely accepted that the endoscopic resection is the best treatment modality for colonic gcts , since they are usually benign .
although there are no established guidelines for the endoscopic treatment of colorectal gcts , benign lesions that are < 2 cm in diameter and separated from the muscularis propria can be removed by emr . in the present report , a yellowish submucosal lesion measuring 1 cm in diameter was detected in screening colonoscopy and resected by emr for histological diagnosis .
, did not confirm any particular cell type for the histogenesis of gct via immunohistochemical analysis of a broad panel of antibodies , including s-100 protein , cd 68 , vimentin , calretinin , nki / c3 , protein gene product 9.5 , nerve growth factor receptor and inhibin - a in their study . in our case , the characteristic morphological findings , in addition to the immunohistochemical staining pattern , were indeed compatible with gct . in conclusion , we reported the first case of synchronous gcts of the colon and mediastinum in a patient with a prior cancer history .
both lesions were removed by minimal invasive methods and diagnosis was corroborated by accurate histopathological evaluation .
this case aside , incidental determination of these tumours is increasing due to widespread screening programs .
clinicians and pathologists should consider the likelihood of gct in the differential diagnosis and remember the possibility of rare clinical presentations , such as multiple , synchronous lesions or coexistence with other lesions . | pubmed |
Glee 1. Chapter 1
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _Glee_ writers and creators.
**A/N:** Incredibly spur-of-the-moment and lame. Hope to get a chapter of 'The Choice I Make' up within the next couple days. Peace out, y'all.
**Chapter 1**
Santana could really pack a punch. Seriously, it felt like the whole right side of Quinn's face was going to explode, even with the ice pack she'd been holding to it for approximately thirty minutes. Fifteen of which were spent (not) listening to Rachel babble at her about this whole Sunshine chick…thing.
Honestly, Quinn didn't know what Rachel was freaking about. Sure, the hobbit could belt it, and yeah, she was good—even if her name did make her sound like a Care Bear. But Rachel would always be the obnoxiously talented midget diva to Quinn—nobody was taking that place anytime soon, no matter how many Beyonce songs they sang or how short they were. And she was pretty sure everyone in glee club felt the same way, so seriously. She needed to stop talking about it.
Or just stop talking, period. That would be nice, too, but Quinn was pretty sure she wouldn't be doing that any time soon.
Quinn readjusted the pack and hissed. Wasn't ice supposed to _numb_ the pain? Stupid nurse. Figgins needed a new interviewing process, she decided. And Mr. Schuester needed to not abandon her in the choir room where she was free to be preyed upon by midget freaks looking for a shoulder to cry on.
Where was Finn? Maybe she could pawn Rachel off on him….
Unfortunately, they were alone in the choir room. Even Brad had gone off somewhere, and Mr. Schuester had left the lights low when he left, meaning he probably wasn't coming back. In fact, he was probably standing outside Ms. Pillsbury's office with extra big puppy dog eyes and a plate of 'I Love You' cookies. Quinn briefly wondered if that's what Rachel had done to tell Finn she loved him before casting the idea aside as nauseating, which she didn't need on top of the aches and pains Santana had given her.
The blonde sighed. Well, if she was going to be stuck with the troll until she left, she may as well tune in once in a while. Just to see what was on. Maybe Rachel was playing the 'I'm afraid Finn is going to lose interest and break up with me' track. Or, even more entertaining, the 'my offer of friendship is, as always, open, Quinn' track.
"…mildly aroused by the whole thing, which was, quite frankly, rather unexpected, as I've only ever been attracted to boys before, and while I'm certainly not opposed to same sex relationships, I haven't actually considered the possibility of one for myself. I always assumed I was straight, which I suppose could stem from my parentage, seeing as I was only exposed to attraction to males as an option. How—"
"Wait!" Quinn yelped, staring wide-eyed at her.
Rachel's brand new bangs bounced as she whipped her head in the blonde's direction, looking just as startled as Quinn felt. The newly reinstated head cheerleader felt she had more right to that particular emotion at the moment, however, since she was pretty sure the midget was trying to tell her she'd gotten turned on by a _girl_.
"What?" she rasped. Rachel opened her mouth, so she interjected with, "A-are you saying you're…gay?"
She almost choked on the word. The brunette paused—to give the question serious consideration—and Quinn could literally hear her heart beating in her ears. It was going awfully fast, for some reason, which she was sure had everything to do with being freaked the hell out. Rachel was coming out of the closet to her? Really?
"Well, not _gay_ exactly," Rachel said at last, and Quinn's jaw dropped. "Most likely bisexual. I'm not certain. I think I'll have to explore it more fully to know for absolute certain." She nodded with one of her cheeky, 'oh, I'm so brilliant' smiles, and Quinn stared some more.
"B-but you're with Finn," she reminded her uncomfortably, shifting in her chair.
The bisexual thing was a little better. Sort of. It wasn't like Quinn didn't know people who dabbled in both (Santana and Brittany, anyone?), but the notion was still making her heart race. She absently adjusted her ice pack again, this time only distantly aware of the sting it elicited.
"Yes, I know," Rachel replied, looking somewhat amused. "I didn't say I was about to leap into bed with the first female I find. I just meant I'd have to explore the possibility of attraction further."
Quinn scowled, miffed by that condescending tone. "Why are you talking to _me_ about this?" _It's not like I have experience_, she added silently.
The brunette cast a quick glance over the room and shrugged, answering in that same patronizing tone, "You're the only one here."
That only pissed the blonde off even more. She didn't know why, since a minute ago she'd been wishing Rachel would either shut up or talk to someone else about her problems, but it did. Quinn brushed that aside and focused on her first instinct: glaring at her. The midget sighed, expression turning almost melancholy.
"To be honest, the idea of it is a little discomfiting," she admitted softly, and Quinn sighed—of course there was another monologue coming. What had she been thinking? "Again, I'm not against it or anything, but…well, I'm already enough of an outcast at this school, even within glee club. If 'bisexual' is added to the already formidable list of reasons to peg me a loser, I'm…I'm afraid it'll be even worse. And what if I _am_ gay? I know I said before that I didn't think so, but it's a serious possibility. I mean, I'll be the first to admit that Finn isn't as…well-rehearsed as Jesse or Noah, but seeing as we're in love, I thought it would be…."
Quinn did not know what to say to _any_ of this. Rachel was right—being bisexual or gay would make her life even more of a living hell than it already was. It didn't matter for people like Brittany or Santana, because they were popular, so people overlooked it. Rachel was already annoying, short, and bossy. She didn't need 'lesbo' added to that.
The blonde didn't know how she felt about that part—but she did know how she felt about Rachel's inadvertent admission that things with Finn weren't exactly top-notch. It made her want to laugh so badly tears almost leaked out of the corners of her eyes from the strain of holding it in.
"Different," Rachel finished quietly, and Quinn's laughter—thankfully—faded when she remembered that the brunette was in the middle of a very serious discussion with herself. "But maybe I'm worrying for nothing. Perhaps the way I feel with Finn _is_ as good as it gets. Although, the way I felt earlier was better than anything I'd ever felt with any boy before, even if it didn't last long. And—"
Quinn did not know what possessed her to do it. It could've been the desire to shut Rachel up; it could've been the low lighting; it could've been the way Rachel's bangs kept falling into her eyes that way….. And it also could've been that Santana hit her so hard earlier she was sustaining some brain damage.
Whatever it was, it was irresistible. As soon as the thought entered her mind, it turned into desire, which relayed to action, and Quinn dropped the ice pack to her lap and seized the back of Rachel's neck before she could think twice about it. She brought their heads close together, foreheads almost touching, and her lips hovered just centimeters away from Rachel's, but she didn't push it any further.
The brunette's eyes went wide with fear, her gaze flicking from Quinn's to her lips and back again. Quinn could feel her hot breaths washing over her cheeks and the tension of the muscles in her neck—her skin felt so warm compared to the ice pack. The blonde only noticed her own breathing had gone ragged when she tried to speak.
"Relax," she said, and she had no idea when her voice had gotten so low, but it made Rachel's shoulders loosen and her eyelids droop. "I'm not going to touch you," Quinn assured her. "Thirty seconds." She swallowed another breath. "Thirty seconds, and you're turned on? Then I give you free leave to freak."
She couldn't help the smirk that quirked her lips, and Rachel returned it in a friendlier fashion, but it melted quickly when her gaze dropped to Quinn's lips again. Quinn had never noticed how colorful Rachel's eyes were before. From far away, they looked almost black, but up close like this, she could see the color variation, the way they lightened around her pupils before easing into dark again.
"Your hand is cold," Rachel breathed.
Quinn rubbed her fingers against the warmth of her skin to make up for it, trying to create enough friction to generate some heat. Rachel gasped at the feel, and Quinn once again discovered something new about the brunette. Her voice, when she wasn't on an endless lecture, was really, really…pleasant. The way that simple sentence rolled off her tongue—effortlessly, quietly…soothingly. Something tightened in Quinn's abdomen.
Rachel's skin was smooth, too. Not at all warty or bumpy the way Quinn had depicted it so many times. It was baby soft—and Quinn would know—and if you were close enough, which she definitely was, you could smell the faintest hint of strawberries. The blonde's eyelids grew heavy, directing her gaze further down while the tightening gradually turned to an ache.
Her lips…Quinn wondered if they were as soft as the skin on her neck. Her breaths breezed past the parted passageway, bringing the smell of mint to the mixture, and the blonde wondered idly if Rachel brushed her teeth after every meal—the thought brought another small smile to her face, but her mind wandered back to the full pink lips before her. A tongue darted out over the lower, wetting it, and Quinn felt a throb down below.
She almost leaned closer, her hormones screaming for her to take what she knew she needed, but then she felt the light tickling of Rachel's braid over her fingers. The blonde's gaze darted back up, this time to those bangs—which were really quite adorable, but not in the toddler-like way her old hairstyle was—and her fingers flexed on the edge of the chair, which she suddenly realized she had a death grip on. She wanted to run her fingers through those locks, slide the bangs out of her gorgeous eyes, bury her nose in her hair until she could smell nothing but strawberries.
"Thirty," Rachel suddenly sighed.
Quinn's stomach jumped into her throat. She'd forgotten…completely forgotten what they were doing. And why. She tried to make her hand move, to take it off the brunette's neck, tried to pull back, because she knew that's what she was supposed to be doing. But she couldn't seem to pry her fingers away from the circles they were tracing, or her nose away from the delectable scents it was smelling. And Rachel hadn't moved, either.
Seven more seconds ticked by while they shared breaths, but didn't dare to move any closer. Until Quinn felt the melting ice pack soaking into her brand new uniform. She jumped—damn, it was cold!—and lifted the sopping thing gingerly from her lap, and while she was trying to figure out what the hell to do with it, Rachel stood and started backing away, breathing heavily.
"I-I have to go," the brunette excused herself, putting her hand to her forehead briefly before she nodded, almost as if in confirmation. "Um…yeah. I…bye."
Quinn stared slack-jawed at the empty doorway when she realized two things. One, she was upset that Rachel had left. And two, the skirt of her uniform wasn't the only place she was wet.
Maybe _she_ needed to do a little exploring herself….
2. Chapter 2
**A/N:** Ah, crap. So…I got a lot of sequel requests for this one, and at first I didn't know exactly where I would go with it. So I really hope it meets expectations, and I have a feeling it's going to be continued…sometime in the near future. *grumble, grumble*
**Chapter 2**
Finn's fingertips slipped away from Rachel's grasp, and the feeling was met with a melancholy sigh. A part of her didn't want him to leave. It was the same part that had screamed she would never leave him until it got its way and she verbalized it. It was the same part that wouldn't let her dispose of her teddy bear, Amstein, despite one of his glassy eyes going MIA two years ago and his polka-dotted bow tie fading from its once brilliant red and white. Nostalgia.
She closed her eyes to the acidic feeling in her stomach. Finn deserved better. Better than being treated like a ratty, tear-soaked plaything kept out of obligation to sentimentality. Better than being lied to.
She hadn't outright lied to him, of course. She did want to be alone for a while, to gather strength from the hot glow of her spotlight and wallow in the bittersweet emptiness of the auditorium. Remembering how she'd brought an entire crowd to their feet, roaring until it felt as though the walls would crumble around them. The silence was deafening in its own way.
The reason for it—the reason for Rachel's desire to be alone, that is—was what Finn misunderstood. He thought it was to gather courage before she faced the music (metaphorically speaking) and apologized for her actions that had cost New Directions so much. He was wrong.
Apologizing to glee club wasn't new for Rachel. She'd done it many times over the past year; more times than she'd ever thought she would apologize to anyone. And it would be as simple this time as all the others. Her apology would be sincere, heartfelt, and ignored. Because Rachel was just 'being Rachel', but more importantly, New Directions needed her voice.
It gave her a terrifying sort of freedom—and power. She could do whatever she wished, as long as it caused no detriment to her voice, and she would be forgiven. Welcomed back with nothing more than a reproachful smack on the hand from Mr. Schuester and the sheet music for her next solo.
So it was nothing to do with that. It had to do with something Rachel had spent days trying desperately not to think about—of course, the more she tried not to, the more she did. It had to do with the choir room; its lights low, the absence of so many bodies making it feel startlingly open, like high ceilings in a cathedral. It had to do with the crinkle of plastic and the slosh of ice in slowly melting water. It had to do with the gold flecks in a field of green, both nearly encompassed by ever-expanding darkness. And, most of all, it had to do with thirty seconds.
Both the longest and shortest of her life. The openness of the choir room shrank down to nothingness, and all that seemed to matter was the pressure of an ice cold hand on her neck, the contrasting heat of breath on her face, the intensity of the multi-colored gaze across from her, and the lull of a sweet, seductive purr of a voice.
'_Relax. I'm not going to touch you._' Rachel had desperately wanted to point out that she was already touching her. And even though it terrified her, that she wanted her to touch her more. But they both knew what she'd meant—she wasn't going to kiss her. They were only playing at it, like a child wearing his father's tool belt.
And Rachel could do that, she'd told herself. For thirty seconds, she could pretend the gap was going to close and she'd be met with lips as sweet as the perfume riding off the other girl in waves. She could pretend the hand rubbing circles on her neck was going to sweep lower and caress her body with a knee-buckling finesse until it reached the place it was needed most. She could even pretend the girl across from her wanted to do those things, wanted Rachel to touch her in the same way.
And when those thirty seconds were up, Rachel could walk away, as in love with Finn as she ever had been, and she could pretend nothing ever happened.
She'd tried; she really had. She separated herself from the scene, counting off the seconds in her head, pretending pink lips would meet hers. 'Pretend' didn't last.
At three seconds, Rachel informed her of the coldness of her hand. At five, she'd already memorized the dips and curves in the perfect pink skin in front of her. At eleven, she knew that she was, beyond a doubt, completely aroused—because of the deep hazel eyes, the now warm, gentle hand, the tantalizingly parted lips. Everything. All the beauty in front of her—literally shoved right in her face, no longer ignorable—and Rachel wanted it.
A million thoughts of how Rachel wanted it, wanted _her_, raced through her mind at once. How she could tangle her fingers in long blonde locks, combing them out and massaging a scalp aching from the ponytail's binding tightness. How she could sink her body against pale flesh, taste its soft sweetness, feel the pulsing of a vein under her tongue. How she could make this girl moan her name, every syllable stretched to its fullest, every letter rolling off her tongue with increased adulation.
Rachel had licked her lips thinking of it. And she knew she'd been caught, had turned her head in embarrassment and distracted her, and that's when she'd sunk into the darkness of two bright eyes as they scanned her brunette bangs with something akin to hunger. It was breathtaking.
It had startled Rachel just as much as her when she hit thirty, and the announcement blew out past her lips before she could stop it. When she didn't pull away, Rachel knew—for certain—that she'd forgotten that they were pretending, too. That she'd been just as under the spell of those thirty seconds as the singer had.
But when the ice pack interrupted their moment of connection, reality slapped Rachel in the face like a note in the wrong key. And she remembered something very important—the girl across from her was Quinn Fabray.
Quinn had never slushied Rachel. Not once. She and her Cheerios were always too 'sophisticated' for that low level torment (though they weren't too sophisticated to laugh like hyenas while Rachel cleaned herself off in the bathroom). It was left to the football players and other jocks—or, in other words, the boys—to do such dirty work. No, the Cheerios preferred offensive etchings on bathroom walls, trolling the internet, and issuing provocative nicknames from sharp tongues. They were cowards, but that didn't matter. It still burned.
In fact, it was almost worse. Corn syrup could be washed out. Clothes could be replaced. Towels could regenerate heat in frigid skin. But unadulterated, unprovoked hatred was inescapable. Harsh words would ring out in her mind weeks after they'd been said, and there was no way Rachel could scrub those away.
And if anything could be said for Quinn's part in all that bullying over the years, it was that she was the worst. Half of Rachel's nicknames were her invention. She'd freely admitted to those drawings. And the comment '_If I were your parents, I would sell you back_' was never far from Rachel's mind on the rare occasion that she had an argument with her dads. Shelby's brief cameo in her life hadn't exactly discouraged that niggling insecurity.
Yet it was Quinn—_Quinn_—who was making her feel this way. Inspiring so much heat and wetness, sending such vivid images into her mind as she'd never had about Finn or Jesse, or even Noah. Making her feel _incredible_.
Of course, Rachel had fled. And she'd been fleeing since that day, trying to burrow into the safety of Finn's friendship, the familiarity of routine. Quinn wasn't making it easy for her. Whenever they were in the same vicinity—the same _room_, even—Rachel could literally feel her hazel eyes tracking her, and she hated it, because she wanted it. She wanted Quinn to look at her. She wanted _Quinn_.
Fortunately, any signs of arousal Rachel might have been displaying were smacked away like a hand from the cookie jar when she looked at Quinn. Because her gaze didn't go to hazel irises or blonde hair or pale flesh—it went to red polyester.
While that day in the choir room the color had reminded her of heat and passion, now it made her think of anger and, disturbingly enough, blood. Rachel knew Quinn would never physically hurt her. Not on purpose, anyway. Though she had recently gotten into a catfight with Santana, Rachel had heard that the Latina was the one to strike the first blow, and Quinn was only retaliating.
And the only times Rachel could recall Quinn getting physical with _her_ was once last year, when she'd been a little crazy on pregnancy hormones and grasping desperately to the one shred of her life that might remain intact when her secret was blown—and she hadn't touched her again after that appalled look the brunette hadn't been able to help giving her. And then there was the other day in the choir room, but Quinn hadn't hurt her, nor had she been intending to.
Rachel wasn't actually clear on _what_ she was doing, but she was desperate to know. Quinn had very plainly been irritated with her presence and incessant talking that day—constantly shifting or rolling her eyes—and the only reason Rachel hadn't left was her concern that the blonde might have a mild concussion.
From what she'd heard of the fight at that point, Santana had knocked her headfirst into a locker, and Rachel didn't want Quinn falling asleep and never waking up. Much as she distrusted Quinn, she truly didn't hate her, and she cared for all her teammates on that basic level. Besides, for some reason she couldn't explain, Rachel wanted to be Quinn's friend—even if it only meant she was friends with her like she was friends with Mike.
However, since that day in the choir room, Rachel had realized that even a friendship with Quinn would be precarious, leaving her open to all kinds of emotional cuts to add to the scars the blonde had given her over the years. And actually being _attracted_ to her? She might as well paint a bull's eye over her heart.
So Rachel was pushing those feelings aside—any and all attraction she'd been feeling for girls in general, but especially toward Quinn—and focusing on her relationship with Finn. After all, he was a good guy who loved and respected her, and he deserved better. She would work harder to treat him better, starting after her stop in the auditorium. When she arrived back at the choir room, she would apologize to glee and kiss him and mean it and _feel_ it.
"Still not as good as kissing a girl, hm?"
And that was when Rachel realized she'd been staring after Finn's retreating form for the better part of the last three minutes. She gave herself a good mental shake, turning primly on her heel to face the person she least wanted to see at the moment. And trying desperately to ignore the goose bumps on her arms from hearing that low purr again.
"We didn't kiss," Rachel reminded her.
Quinn's smirk disappeared, replaced with a roll of the eyes. "Fine. _Nearly_, then."
"Finn's kissing is fi—good. Good," she repeated, firmer. Her throat was dry. She swallowed. "Why aren't you in glee?"
"Why aren't you?" the blonde retorted, and it was Rachel's turn to roll her eyes.
"Has anyone ever told you that your penchant for avoiding questions you don't want to answer is not only impressive, but exasperating?"
"No one's mentioned it lately. Possibly because you're even better at it than I am."
Quinn's lip quirked in one of those annoyingly adorable smirks of hers, and Rachel wondered idly if she was taking some sort of sick pleasure in this uncomfortable exchange. One deeper glance into those hazel eyes gave her answer, and the brunette glanced pointedly down at the Cheerios uniform to quell an answering shudder.
"I sincerely doubt that," she replied evenly, and promptly pushed past her.
Rachel suddenly didn't want to be in the choir room. And especially not with Quinn. She fled for the auditorium and the safety of her spotlight, but she was going to have to fight for her reprieve. The cheerleader was following. She folded her arms protectively around herself, feeling somehow more secure, as if she had a shield to guard her from whatever Quinn was going to throw at her.
"Why are you avoiding me?" Quinn asked, and Rachel imagined her jaw clanging to the floor like in one of those cartoons.
She had never heard Quinn ask such a loaded question point blank like that. Nor had she ever heard her sound so vulnerable and yet…wary, at the same time. Like the sweet girl that had made appearances during her pregnancy was trying to peek out, but the head cheerleader was readying to protect her if need be. Rachel softened despite herself.
"I think you know," she said quietly.
There was a brief pause, but Rachel knew Quinn was still following her. She could feel her gaze, and she wished she'd worn her hair down so she could've at least hid her blushing cheeks from view.
"Are you going to tell Finn?"
The frost in her voice was back, and Rachel tightened her arms reflexively. She tossed a glance at the cheerleader, whose eyes were uncompromisingly on her, and the singer wondered how she was maneuvering the halls without incident this way. A glance at the uniform was all it took to remind her that the quiet pregnant girl wasn't who she was dealing with; people were back to parting like the Red Sea—Quinn didn't _need_ to look where she was going.
"No," Rachel replied stiffly, hoping her icy tone would properly convey the message that it really wasn't any of Quinn's business anyway. The arched blonde eyebrow she received had her adding, "Nothing happened for me to tell him about. And actually, I would appreciate it if maybe you could just…forget the whole thing?" She tried not to sound so uncertain, but the unwavering attention she was receiving from the blonde to her right was muddling her thoughts. "I believe it's best for everyone if—"
"How can I forget it if nothing happened?" Quinn interjected.
The singer wanted to roll her eyes again. She sounded petulant and superior and biting all at once, and Rachel wondered which side of Quinn was responding. The head cheerleader, the pregnant girl…or the woman in the choir room?
"Look, Quinn, I appreciated your help in the matter, however unconventional your method may have been—" the blonde snorted "—but it's resolved now, and we can go on with our lives." She emphasized her words with a nod.
She was positive Quinn would be relieved. However caught up in the moment she may have been, it was as much of a mistake for Quinn as it had been for Rachel. The blonde was straight, after all (the proof was in the pudding—the pudding being Beth, of course). Not to mention, Baptist. Rachel grimaced at the cross, the artificial lighting glinting off of it.
"So what was the verdict?" she asked, and Rachel jumped.
Her gaze bounced back up to Quinn's, and the brunette felt her cheeks warm at the knowing, almost familiar smirk on the blonde's face.
"What?"
"The verdict. You said it was resolved, but you never told me what the result was," she continued nonchalantly.
Rachel narrowed her eyes at the blonde. She was being too casual. As though she knew the answer, but she was trying to force it out of her. The singer didn't know what her game was, but she wasn't playing into the head cheerleader's hands. Maybe if the pregnant girl had asked, or the woman she'd seen a glimpse of in the choir room…but not the head cheerleader. She was dangerous.
Nonetheless, Rachel circled in front of her, bringing them to a stop near the janitor's closet. She called upon years of acting lessons to train her expression into something remotely resembling detached, even as her body betrayed her with its reaction to their sudden nearness.
"It was nothing," she said coolly. "The reaction I had before must've been a fluke of some sort—probably related to my affection for singing. I've since realized 'looking' at girls merely produces a feeling of indifference, and our thirty second deal helped to confirm it. I'm straight."
Quinn's gaze hadn't wavered from her eyes, and Rachel momentarily felt as though she were a block of wood being drilled into by molten screws. Then her head cocked, ponytail brushing her neck with the motion, and her expression turned curious. And now the brunette felt like a chemical solution that hadn't turned the correct color. She pulled her arms tighter against her chest, until she could feel her ribs.
"You're lying," Quinn said simply, but there was so much fascination in those two words.
Rachel didn't know if the blonde was fascinated because she'd lied, or because she could read it so easily. It was definitely the latter for the singer. She felt her cheeks warm again and wished desperately that she could find some sort of control over that reaction.
"I'm not," she insisted, forcing herself not to shake her head like an ill-behaved child.
"Yes, you are," she retorted, and her voice rose for the first time since they started talking. "Why?"
Those eyes started digging again, rooting through Rachel as if they could reach in and take out whatever they needed. It made the brunette feel vulnerable and open…naked. She ripped her gaze from Quinn's, knowing it would be more telling than anything, but refusing to subject herself to more of that. It took her a few moments to compose herself.
When she felt she finally had it together, Rachel lifted her gaze, but dodged the searching hazel eyes, training her focus on somewhere past Quinn's left ear.
"I'm not lying. I didn't feel anything that day, and if I led you to believe otherwise, then I—"
She yelped in surprise when the cheerleader seized her elbow and tugged, leaving the singer no choice but to trip after her—unless she wanted her arm pulled from her socket. Her grip was tight and unyielding, though Rachel knew that was more to keep her in check than to hurt her. Nonetheless, she was whimpering when Quinn released her and slammed the door to the closet shut, leaving them surrounded by darkness.
"That hurt," Rachel groused, rubbing her stinging skin vigorously.
"Sorry," Quinn breathed from somewhere in front of her.
She squinted. "Where are you? I can't—"
"Hold on."
There was some fumbling to her right and Quinn's breath hitched for a moment, but then light flashed in Rachel's eyes and she squinted several times before she was able to properly take in the grungy grey room she'd been yanked into.
"This is really quite disgusting," she informed the blonde matter-of-factly. "What are we doing in here, anyway? I'm fairly certain students aren't allowed."
Quinn just smirked, and Rachel tried not to gasp when she looked up at the other girl. The yellow light hanging above her head brought out the golden tones of her hair, making her look almost aglow, and the brunette was once again struck by just how gorgeous Quinn was. She averted her gaze, back to the red marks on her arm.
"Here," the blonde murmured, and Rachel felt her hand pried away from her elbow.
Before she could protest, Quinn had her arm in both hands and she was rubbing slow, gentle circles over the offended skin, much the way she had when the brunette issued a complaint about the coldness of her hand. Rachel's breathing quickened without her consent, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from where the blonde was touching her. Her fingers were so soft, long, pale…and the brunette wanted them elsewhere.
She felt her heart pound against her chest, demanding attention, and she wanted so many things at once that all she could do was continue to stare, letting her body betray her mind's commands. She wanted to jerk away and demand explanations. She wanted Quinn to slide her hands up her arm and claim her body, first with her hands and then her lips. She wanted to kiss Quinn until she couldn't breathe. She wanted to escape the dilapidated, dank closet.
"Now tell me you don't feel anything."
Despite the soothing, low tones those words were spoken in, Rachel snapped out of her trance. She found Quinn's eyes in the dim lighting, saw how they'd darkened even since standing in the hallway with her, and ripped her arm out of the blonde's hand in a fit of infantile rage.
"You played me," she accused furiously, pacing to the other side of the closet—which wasn't far—and folding her arms protectively again.
Quinn flipped her ponytail, hands on her hips. "Actually, I didn't mean to hurt you. But it did work in my favor, didn't it?"
Rachel glowered at her. "That didn't _prove_ anything. Except that you would have a very successful career as a masseuse, should you choose to go in that direction."
A smirk played across the blonde's lips, and the brunette intensified her glare.
"Why are you afraid to admit it?" she inquired, and Rachel again imagined that her jaw would've hit the floor with a thud, had she been a cartoon character.
"I'm not afraid," she retorted peevishly. "There's nothing to admit."
The eyebrow went up again. "You know, I think this is the first time you've ever lied to me."
For some reason, that stung worse than hearing 'Man Hands' chanted at her the first time she was slushied. Rachel hated being called a liar. It was almost worse than having her singing criticized, because it was the opposite of everything she strived to be. She suddenly felt sick inside; as though she'd been infected with something she couldn't get off.
She closed her eyes, taking a bracing breath. "Look…Quinn, do you have any idea what this would do to me if it came out? My life would go from '_Annie_' levels of torment to '_The Phantom of the Opera_' in a heartbeat, and I don't need that extra stress on my way to becoming a Broadway star. The material I have for my 'bullying years' biography chapter is already extensive enough, thank you very much, and so I would much rather stay in the proverbial closet until a time where I don't have to fear being thrown in the dumpster every day before school."
Rachel was practically panting by the end of this little speech, but if the puzzled expression on the blonde's face was any indication, she'd wasted her breath. The singer rolled her eyes.
"What?" she snipped.
Quinn's frown twisted. "I'm just trying to remember the plot of '_The Phantom of the Opera_.'"
The brunette really didn't see why this was important, but her intrinsic need to explain everything overrode her confusion, and she blurted, "A disfigured but profoundly talented man living in the Paris Opera House falls in love with a beautiful young ingénue named Christine and—"
"Right, right. I remember," she cut in, waving a dismissive hand.
The silence settled between them for an uncomfortable moment before Rachel's curiosity won over again.
"Why is that important?"
Quinn smiled wryly, and it made the brunette's cheeks warm again. "Because you don't use a musical reference without some deep, meaningful connection to it."
Her cheeks were burning. "Oh."
"So why are you afraid to be attracted to me?" she asked, slipping closer.
Rachel's eyes widened, then narrowed on the cheerleader. She would only have to take a few more steps, and they would be pressed together. She willed herself not to want that, but it was to no avail. The hazel eyes were trained on her again, dark and searching—reminding her of the heat they'd carried in the choir room.
"I'm not. A-attracted to you, that is," she stammered, mentally cursing herself and Quinn's ability to jumble her thoughts with a simple look.
"Really?" she challenged, brow and lip quirked. She took another step.
Rachel bobbed her head. Another step. "Yes."
She could feel the heat of Quinn's breaths again, coming from a different angle now that they weren't seated. She fought the chills running up and down her spine, the goose bumps coating her arms and sending her hair on end, the almost pleasant knotting in her lower abdomen—but even seeing the Cheerios uniform up close and personal wasn't doing anything to calm her. Not with Quinn so close; not when she could feel her breaths and her heat and see the gold flecks in her hazel eyes. Not when she was thinking of what was _under_ the Cheerios uniform.
"Then I'm sorry for this," she purred, and Rachel's eyes fluttered at the sensation of those soft syllables rolling over her skin.
And then she focused on the lips closing in on hers, and the closet was gone, and it was just her and Quinn again. Quinn making her feel _incredible_ again. And all the thoughts of how badly she could hurt her and how badly she had already hurt her were gone, replaced by thoughts of how she would look wrapped in Rachel's sheets and how she was simply going to fall to pieces if she didn't get to kiss Quinn.
It happened. Rachel almost didn't realize their lips had touched, because the blonde was being so gentle, so careful. But then she pressed more firmly and the brunette's eyes slid shut and she kissed back, and meant it, and _felt_ it. Felt it more than she ever had with anyone before. Her soul was on fire, her heart was singing, and it felt as though all the pieces _had_ fallen—only into place, because this felt right. So right, like the last piece of the puzzle, or the final note to a song. Perfection.
Quinn's hands had found their way to her waist, and Rachel found herself returning the gesture, offering to anchor the blonde as she slid her arm up over her shoulder and hooked it around her neck. She simultaneously tugged her further down, more to her level, wanting to feel and taste more of this delicious sweetness she'd been deprived of for the past seventeen years.
The move brought their bodies together, eliciting a gasp—Rachel wasn't sure from who, but it hit the air moments after they felt one another, and the brunette realized that unlike with Finn or Jesse or Noah, her body sort of fit with Quinn's, like it was made to rest there. That was the only comparison she was capable of drawing between kissing a boy and kissing Quinn. This was something else entirely.
Quinn was magnificent. Quinn was gorgeous. Quinn was perfect.
It took Rachel a moment to register that they weren't kissing anymore, only leaning hot foreheads together, breathing the same air and just _being_. And it was perfection. The way Quinn kept rubbing slow, wide circles over her waist, as though she was trying to soothe her. The way her skin felt under Rachel's hands—so smooth and warm. She let her fingers trail up into the silky curls at the base of her neck, smiling a little when Quinn shuddered.
"Tickles," she mumbled, and Rachel thought she might melt into a puddle if Quinn continued being that adorable.
The singer broke it first. She dipped under, capturing the soft lips in what she hoped was as gentle a manner as Quinn had taken hers. The enthusiastic response she garnered rapidly convinced her it didn't matter one way or the other. The blonde made the first bold move again, sliding her tongue along the seam of Rachel's lips, and she parted them eagerly—Quinn matched her move-for-move, and at the first meeting of their tongues, the kiss instantly became more urgent, less leisurely.
Quinn couldn't seem to keep her hands in one place. One moment they were flexing over Rachel's back; the next they were cupping her face, thumbs stroking along the line of her cheekbone; and the next they were massaging her hip. Rachel, for her part, could not get enough of Quinn's mouth. It was ironic, really. She was automatically addicted to the part of Quinn that had done her the most damage. She let her hands travel in a less frenzied path, sweeping over the back of her neck and scooping under her arms to memorize that pleasantly toned back.
The brunette was torn between her desire to keep feeling those lips and tongue and her imminent need for oxygen, though the blonde took the choice away from her in short order, evidently in need herself. But she didn't take the lips away—she trailed them down Rachel's jaw, lining it with brief, insistent kisses that had the singer's knees wobbling.
"Quinn," she murmured, and she was shocked at how different her voice sounded. It was so low and husky and it was practically making the blonde attached to her earlobe purr. "Wh-what are we doing?"
"Exploring," was her one-word answer, and then another kiss was pressed to the shell of her ear.
Rachel snapped out of her haze immediately. 'Exploring'? That wasn't how she would describe this at all. This was more than just preference for girls, more than attraction. Or that's what she'd thought or felt or…. But of course Quinn wouldn't feel the same way. How could she, after all those years of torturing?
The brunette ceased her special treatment of Quinn's shoulder blades, eliciting a whine from the girl, and ignored the screaming between her legs, instead snatching the blonde's shoulders and pushing them apart. She tried to suppress her satisfaction when Quinn gave a similar yelp of surprise to the one she'd made earlier.
"Exploring?" she echoed flatly, and the cheerleader's expression darkened instantly. "That's what this is to you? You just piqued your interest a couple days ago and now you're fulfilling your curiosity?" she spat.
"It's not like that," Quinn retorted defensively, though now she was the one folding her arms, shielding herself.
Rachel didn't back down. "Oh, it isn't? Then what is it like? Are you reinstating yourself as the queen of McKinley with a pathetic prank on the freak? Is Jacob Ben Israel paying you? What?"
"I would never do that to you," she snarled, bristling with anger now.
"Then what _are_ you doing to me? Using me? Trying to figure out whether you really swing that way, or if it was just a passing fancy?"
Her eyes flashed. "You did the same to me."
"Because you practically drafted me into it!" She watched the cheerleader back down, looking chastised, before she went on. "You volunteered yourself. I didn't ask you to kiss me."
She nodded minutely. "I know."
"Do you even like me?" Rachel whimpered, and she realized with a start that she was on the verge of tears.
Quinn's mouth opened and closed a few times, but no answer was forthcoming. She was taken aback and unequipped to handle this question, and Rachel tried her hardest not to cry.
"I'm not taking this. Not from you," she murmured, and headed for the silver doorknob and the release it would offer.
A hand caught her arm, though more gently than before, and Quinn abruptly blocked her path.
"No, Rachel, I…." She fought for words, searching for them on the unforgiving grey walls. "I care about you."
Rachel scoffed, folding her arms. "Really?" she challenged, and Quinn nodded. "Then tell me. What was your first thought when you found out Ms. Corcoran is my mother?"
There was another jaw-flapping, wide-eyed moment.
"Or what about when I was egged? Or even the time I came to you girls for advice about sex?" The brunette swallowed her tears, gathering herself for the final blow. "If that's how you care about people…then I feel sorry for Mercedes and Brittany."
And before Rachel could see Quinn's reaction and lose all willpower, she forced her way to the door and fled for her most cherished friend: her spotlight.
End file.
| fanfiction |
package org.innovateuk.ifs.assessment.mapper;
import org.innovateuk.ifs.assessment.domain.AssessmentInvite;
import org.innovateuk.ifs.category.mapper.InnovationAreaMapper;
import org.innovateuk.ifs.category.resource.InnovationAreaResource;
import org.innovateuk.ifs.competition.domain.CompetitionInvite;
import org.innovateuk.ifs.invite.resource.AssessorCreatedInviteResource;
import org.innovateuk.ifs.profile.domain.Profile;
import org.innovateuk.ifs.profile.repository.ProfileRepository;
import org.springframework.beans.factory.annotation.Autowired;
import org.springframework.stereotype.Component;
import java.util.List;
import static java.util.Collections.singletonList;
import static java.util.stream.Collectors.toList;
/**
* Mapper for mapping to an {@link AssessorCreatedInviteResource}.
*/
@Component
public class AssessorCreatedInviteMapper {
private ProfileRepository profileRepository;
private InnovationAreaMapper innovationAreaMapper;
@Autowired
public AssessorCreatedInviteMapper(
ProfileRepository profileRepository,
InnovationAreaMapper innovationAreaMapper) {
this.profileRepository = profileRepository;
this.innovationAreaMapper = innovationAreaMapper;
}
public AssessorCreatedInviteResource mapToResource(AssessmentInvite competitionAssessmentInvite) {
AssessorCreatedInviteResource assessorCreatedInvite = mapBaseProperties(competitionAssessmentInvite);
if (competitionAssessmentInvite.isNewAssessorInvite()) {
assessorCreatedInvite.setInnovationAreas(
singletonList(innovationAreaMapper.mapToResource(competitionAssessmentInvite.getInnovationArea()))
);
return assessorCreatedInvite;
}
return mapUserProperties(competitionAssessmentInvite, assessorCreatedInvite);
}
public AssessorCreatedInviteResource mapToResource(CompetitionInvite<?> competitionInvite) {
AssessorCreatedInviteResource assessorCreatedInvite = mapBaseProperties(competitionInvite);
if (competitionInvite.getUser() != null) {
return mapUserProperties(competitionInvite, assessorCreatedInvite);
}
return assessorCreatedInvite;
}
private AssessorCreatedInviteResource mapBaseProperties(CompetitionInvite<?> competitionInvite) {
AssessorCreatedInviteResource assessorCreatedInvite = new AssessorCreatedInviteResource();
assessorCreatedInvite.setName(competitionInvite.getName());
assessorCreatedInvite.setEmail(competitionInvite.getEmail());
assessorCreatedInvite.setInviteId(competitionInvite.getId());
return assessorCreatedInvite;
}
private AssessorCreatedInviteResource mapUserProperties(
CompetitionInvite<?> competitionInvite,
AssessorCreatedInviteResource assessorCreatedInvite
) {
if (competitionInvite.getUser() != null) {
Profile profile = profileRepository.findById(competitionInvite.getUser().getProfileId()).orElse(null);
assessorCreatedInvite.setId(competitionInvite.getUser().getId());
assessorCreatedInvite.setInnovationAreas(mapInnovationAreas(profile));
assessorCreatedInvite.setCompliant(profile.isCompliant(competitionInvite.getUser()));
assessorCreatedInvite.setValidAgreement(profile.isAgreementValid());
assessorCreatedInvite.setValidDoi(Profile.isAffiliationsComplete(competitionInvite.getUser()));
}
return assessorCreatedInvite;
}
private List<InnovationAreaResource> mapInnovationAreas(Profile profile) {
return profile.getInnovationAreas().stream()
.map(innovationAreaMapper::mapToResource)
.collect(toList());
}
}
| slim_pajama |
Some of my most memorable vacation experiences are with Subic Bay in Zambales.
Subic is 166 Kilometers away from Manila and a 2 to 3 1/2 hours drive (depending on traffic conditions) accessible via the North Luzon Expressway (NLEX) and the Subic-Clark-Tarlac Expressway (SCTEX).
Surrounded by the towns of Olongapo in Zambales and Morong in Bataan, the Subic Bay Freeport Zone was founded in November 24, 1992 immediately after the last US Naval ship departed from the bay and more than a year after the eruption of Mount Pinatubo.
It was converted into one of the Philippines' leading commercial economic zones and a favorite tourist destination during summer (or dry season), which is from March to May here in the Philippines.
I have been to Subic a couple of times already, stayed at the All Hands Beach Resort and witnessed the marine shows at Ocean Adventure a long time ago. Here's my son Neo, who was 4 then, he had his picture taken with a false killer whale after the show.
While the bay waters are not really their strongest suit (there are of course better beaches in Bataan), Subic still offers a refuge for souls who deserves a break from their very busy work life. A perfect meeting place for business minds and also a welcoming environment for people and families who sports an active lifestyle.
This is exactly what Grand Pillar International Development, Inc. has in mind when they decided to put up LE CHARME SUITES SUBIC.
Situated at the very heart of the Subic Bay Freeport Zone, Le Charme Suites is the other half of the La Terraza Building at Palm Street.
It's very easy to spot because it's just around the corner of the Royal Duty Free Shops and within walking distance from PureGold Duty Free.
And that is just one of the many things that I really liked about this hotel – have your staycation and pasalubong shopping done in just one place.
Le Charme Suites boast of a lot of exciting firsts in Subic, for example, it's the only hotel in town that is "bike friendly" – from the wide and spacious elevators to the slip-free carpeted hallways to rooms with built-in bicycle racks.
This place is a true haven for bikers. And there are a lot actually who go and visit Subic with their bikes, because it's more fun (and healthy) to just tour around the Freeport Zone using your bicycles.
Compared to most hotels in Subic, Le Charme Suites is also the most generous when it comes to space. Their rooms has at least 40 meters of floor area. It's even bigger and better suited than our unit in Manila! They have bathtubs in every room and separate rainfall showers.
I mention about the huge bike-friendly elevator earlier, and did you know that Le Charme Suites has outfitted that elevator with a sofa? Just to illustrate how huge everything in this place are.
Their 46 stylish rooms are packed with all the necessary amenities including a work table, Wifi, TV, safety boxes, mini bar, ref and Le Charme Suites imported signature toiletries. The food items inside the rooms are all complimentary.
I have personally experienced their DeLuxe King Room with a veranda – and it was as the name implies, a room fit for a King. Now I can't imagine what the suite will look like.
I haven't seen it yet, because the hotel is not yet 100% finished – they just opened a couple of months ago and some of the rooms at the 3rd and 4th floor are still being constructed.
Oh and by the way, it has centralized air conditioning systems. You can actually sleep in the hallway hahaha.
Speaking of hallways, each floor has its own lounge area and a business center where guests can make use of a hotel-provided desktop computer for those work emergencies.
Or you can just hang out at their very comfy hotel lobby.
Le Charme Suites also has two restaurants serving its guests. MI TAPAS, a Filipino-Hispanic restaurant is their in-hotel restaurant found at the 3rd level of the facility. Breakfast and Lunch or Brunch are best served in this restaurant. Hotel management also said that Mi Tapas will also be the venue for future Cooking Demo events in Subic.
At the ground level of the La Terraza Building and on the other side of the hotel facing Royal Duty Free is TEPPAN 101, Subic's first authentic Teppanyaki Restaurant. This is also owned by the same company managing Le Charme Suites.
The hotel has four floors, and on the penthouse is a half olympic sized pool that they call "Ibiza" where guests can enjoy a dip and an almost 360 degrees view of the Subic Bay Freeport Zone. Who needs the beach right? You get all the same fun water experience in one single location. Now that's very convenient.
Also on the fourth floor is a covered function room that can house at least 200 guests. The Barcelona Hall is perfect for all kinds of occasion big and small, from wedding receptions to company conferences. It's perfect.
For intimate meetings and events, Le Charme Suites also has the Madrid Conference Room.
A NaiCha Milk Tea shop, a Nail Spa, a VR Game Room, a SpinCycle Station at the Johnson Fitness and Wellness Center, a Puma Shop and other upcoming commercial establishments all in one building.
If you still want a tour around some of Subic's tourist destinations, Le Charme Suites can also arrange that for you. They are in partnership with almost all of them including Ocean Adventure, Tree Top Adventure, Jest Camp, Zoobic Safari, Inflatable Island, Subic bay Yacht Club, Magaul Bird Park and El Kabayo Stables.
On our last day at Le Charme Suites Subic, our generous host Ms. Josephine Floresca, the Managing Director of the hotel, took us to Jest Camp for lunch at the Kawayan Kitchen and treated us for a show at the Magaul Bird Park.
So that about sums up all the things that I liked about this place, but I guess the most important thing about Le Charme Suites Subic are the warm and friendly people that greets you with a smile all the time and attends to all your needs proactively.
Le Charme Suites Subic is indeed the most charming place in Subic Bay right now. | slim_pajama |
electromagnetic radiations are an excellent probe for extracting thermodynamical information of a matter produced in nucleus - nucleus collisions , as they are emitted from all the stages of collisions with wide @xmath0 , and do nt interact strongly with medium once produced @xcite .
they appear in two figures , namely , photons ( @xmath1 ) that have zero - mass and virtual photons ( @xmath2 ) that have finite mass .
experimentalists often refer virtual photons as dileptons since they have been measuring virtual photons through lepton - pair channels ( @xmath3 ) , by which a wide kinematic range in invariant mass and transverse momentum ( @xmath4 ) can be explored .
photons are produced through a compton scattering of quarks and gluons ( @xmath5 ) or an annihilation of quarks and anti - quarks ( @xmath6 ) as leading - order ( lo ) processes , and the next - to - leading order ( nlo ) process is dominated by bremsstrahlung and fragmentation ( @xmath7 ) , as depicted in figure [ figbasic ] .
their yields are proportional to @xmath8 , which are @xmath940 times lower than those of hadrons that are produced in strong interactions .
virtual photons are produced by annihilation of quarks and anti - quarks .
the initial hard scattering process that takes place in the beginning of the collisions produces relatively high @xmath4 photons , often referred as hard photons .
they have same lo and nlo processes , and are called prompt photons and fragment photons , respectively .
the production rate of these photons are well described by a nlo pqcd calculation @xcite .
photons will be emitted from the hot and dense medium ( quark - gluon plasma : qgp ) in high energy nucleus collisions and manifest at moderate @xmath4(1@xmath103gev/@xmath11 ) if the qgp is formed @xcite .
we often call these photons as thermal photons .
the thermal photons are of interest in exploring thermodynamical nature of the qgp , such as temperature .
one can also obtain the degree of freedom of the system by combining the temperature with measurement of the energy density of the system as @xmath12 . for @xmath131gev , the photons
are predominantly contributed from hadron gas state via the processes of @xmath14 , @xmath15 and etc .
, which are no longer the quark - gluon level interaction .
we often refer these photons as hadron - gas photons .
photons from compton scattering of hard - scattered partons and partons in the medium ( jet - photon conversion ) , or bremsstrahlung of the hard scattered partons in the medium have been predicted to contribute in the @xmath4 range of @xmath162.5gev/@xmath11 if qgp is created @xcite .
figure [ figmanifest ] shows a landscape of photon sources as a function of formation time and @xmath4 . .
] as described above , photons have rich information on the state they are emitted .
however these photons are overwhelmed by the large background coming from the decay of hadrons .
@xmath17 and @xmath18 are the major contributors to the background photons ( @xmath995% ) .
the signal to background ratio at 1 - 3gev/@xmath11 is of the order @xmath910% .
one can understand the difficulty of the measurement by comparing the uncertainty of the best @xmath19 measurement at rhic @xcite which directly relates to the precision of background determination .
there is a certain probability that photons produced by the same process acquire virtual mass and decay into lepton - pairs ( shown as one another degree of freedom in figure [ figbasic](b ) ) .
this process is called internal conversion process and is different from the virtual photon production described above .
we will explain these photons in detail in a later section .
there have been several attempts on measuring thermal photons in high energy nuclear collisions as an evidence of qgp formation .
the first sizable signal was reported by the wa98 experiments at sps in 1@xmath103gev/@xmath11 where a calculation predicts that qgp photons manifest @xcite . at that time
, the hard photons were not measured because the statistics ran out at the @xmath4 where the hard photons start arising .
estimating the hard photon contribution had to rely on a theoretical guidance that had large ambiguity , therefore the measurement was not able to exhibit the thermal photon contribution @xcite .
the source of dileptons depend on their mass and @xmath4 of the measurement .
the low mass region ( @xmath201gev/@xmath21 ) at low @xmath4 is predominantly from the in - medium decay of @xmath22 mesons and/or thermal radiation as shown in figure [ figsourcedilepton](a ) @xcite .
the same mass region at higher @xmath4 or higher mass region at lower @xmath4 are from mainly from the thermal radiation .
the dileptons of interest are obtained after subtracting large combinatoric background arising from dalitz decays of @xmath19 or @xmath23 ( e.g. , @xmath24 ) .
the outline of the background components and resonances in dilepton mass spectra is shown in figure [ figsourcedilepton](b ) @xcite . in this paper
, we review the recent measurements of photons and dileptons from rhic and lhc experiments and discuss what we have learned from the data .
one of the big success in electromagnetic radiation measurements in relativistic heavy ion collisions is the observation of high @xmath4 direct photons that are produced in initial hard scattering @xcite .
figure [ figphenixphotonppg139](a ) and ( b ) show the latest direct photon @xmath4 spectra in au+au collisions at @xmath25=200gev for various centralities , and the nuclear modification factor ( @xmath26 ) for the 0 - 10% centrality , respectively @xcite .
spectra in au+au collisions at @xmath25=200gev measured by the phenix experiment .
( b , right ) nuclear modification factor ( @xmath26 ) for direct photons in 10% central au+au collisions @xcite . ] spectra in au+au collisions at @xmath25=200gev measured by the phenix experiment .
( b , right ) nuclear modification factor ( @xmath26 ) for direct photons in 10% central au+au collisions @xcite . ]
the @xmath26 is consistent with unity within quoted uncertainty , implying that the photons from au+au collisions are consistent with ones expected from @xmath27 collisions .
this result is not very trivial since photons from hard scattering include both prompt and fragment components .
the fragment photons may be reduced in central au+au collisions due to the parton energy loss .
the data is compared with several model predictions .
it is interesting to note that a model that includes reduction of fragment photon due to energy loss of hard scattered partons and increase of jet - photon conversion photons ( coherent + conversion + @xmath28 ) is not consistent with the data .
the small suppression in @xmath26 seen in the highest @xmath4 is likely due to the fact that the ratio of the yields in au+au to @xmath27 was computed without taking the isospin dependence of direct photon production into account @xcite .
the lhc heavy ion runs have the cms energy of 2.76tev where the hard photon production is copious .
one can make a photon isolation cut to enrich the prompt photon component even in heavy ion collisions .
figure [ figlhcphotonandz](a ) shows the isolated photon @xmath4 distributions in pb+pb collisions at @xmath25=2.76tev measured by the atlas experiment at lhc , together with ones by the cms experiments @xcite .
the lines show the expected values from jetphox and pythia event generators .
spectra measured in pb+pb collisions at @xmath25=2.76tev by the atlas and cms experiments together with jetphox and pythia simulation @xcite .
( b , right ) yield of @xmath29-bosons scaled by the nuclear thickness function ( @xmath30 ) as a function of centrality measured by the cms experiment @xcite . ] spectra measured in pb+pb collisions at @xmath25=2.76tev by the atlas and cms experiments together with jetphox and pythia simulation @xcite .
( b , right ) yield of @xmath29-bosons scaled by the nuclear thickness function ( @xmath30 ) as a function of centrality measured by the cms experiment @xcite . ] the prompt photon component should be unaffected by the medium created in heavy ion collisions , and was experimentally confirmed by these measurements .
considering the fact that neither prompt photons from lhc nor prompt+fragment photons from rhic are suppressed , the contribution of photons from fragmentation and jet - photon conversion could be smaller than predicted .
several measurements benefited from the fact that these hard electromagnetic radiations are well under control .
for instance , direct photons are utilized to quantify jet energy loss as they carry the initial momenta of jets @xcite .
a new hard probe that became available at the lhc energy is @xmath29-bosons .
the @xmath29-bosons have a peak mass of @xmath980gev/@xmath21 , and are produced in the medium with a lifetime of 0.1fm/@xmath11 .
therefore , they carry information on the initial states of the collisions , and decay before they are affected by the medium . the @xmath29-boson yields scaled by nuclear thickness function ( @xmath30 ) as a function of @xmath31 ( centrality ) published by the cms experiments are shown in figure [ figlhcphotonandz](b ) @xcite .
the similar results are recently published by the atlas experiments @xcite .
the @xmath29-boson yields are found to follow the scaling of the initial hard scattering process .
@xmath29-boson is also ideal for serving as a reference in many similar measurements , such as @xmath29-jet correlations @xcite .
we point out that @xmath29-bosons can serve as one of the most reliable tools to normalize the dilepton spectra between @xmath27 and a+a collisions .
in the conventional real photon measurement , single photons can be observed after a huge amount of background photons coming from hadron decays ( @xmath19 , @xmath23 , @xmath32 and @xmath33 , etc . )
are subtracted off from the inclusive photon distributions .
this fact makes it very difficult to look at the signal at low @xmath4 , where thermal photons from qgp manifest .
a breakthrough was made by utilizing internal conversion of photons @xcite .
because these photons decay into @xmath34 , one can use measurement technique for dileptons .
the relation between real photon production and the @xmath34 pairs decaying from associated internal conversion photon production can be described as follow @xcite : @xmath35 where @xmath36 is the fine structure constant , @xmath37 and @xmath38 are the masses of the electron and the @xmath34 pair respectively , and @xmath39 is a process dependent factor that goes to 1 when @xmath40 or @xmath41 .
this equation also applies to the relation between the photons from hadron decays ( e.g. @xmath42 ) and the @xmath34 pairs from dalitz decays ( @xmath43 ) . for @xmath19 and @xmath23 ,
the factor @xmath39 is given as @xmath44 , where @xmath45 is the meson mass and @xmath46 is the form factor .
the analysis assumes that the form factor for direct photons is @xmath47 similar to a purely point - like process .
we can select the higher @xmath48 invariant mass region where @xmath19 contribution becomes off . this will eliminate the large background coming from @xmath19 dalitz decay .
figure [ figphenixinconmass ] shows the @xmath34 invariant mass distribution in minimum bias au+au collisions for [email protected]/@xmath11 measured by the phenix experiment @xcite .
invariant mass distribution at [email protected]/@xmath11 together with the cocktail calculation of known sources and direct photon internal conversion @xcite . ]
the @xmath34 mass spectra were fit with the function that have terms of the cocktail calculation of known sources ( @xmath34 from various hadron dalitz decays ) and the direct photon internal conversion : @xmath49 where @xmath50 is the shape of the cocktail mass distribution , @xmath51 is the expected shape of the direct photon internal conversion .
one can obtain the signal to background ratio for a given mass window ( @xmath52 in the plot ) at a given @xmath4 . using the kroll - wada formula @xcite ,
@xmath52 is associated with the ratio at zero - mass and thus is converted to the ratio of direct to inclusive photons : @xmath53 finally , the direct photon @xmath4 spectra is calculated as @xmath54 .
figure [ figphenixalicelowpt](a ) shows the direct photon @xmath4 spectra in au+au and @xmath27 collisions as obtained by this procedure
. collisions .
lines show the @xmath55-scaled @xmath27 fit functions with exponential functions @xcite .
( b , right ) alice results on invariant yields of direct photons in 2.76tev pb+pb collisions @xcite ] collisions .
lines show the @xmath55-scaled @xmath27 fit functions with exponential functions @xcite .
( b , right ) alice results on invariant yields of direct photons in 2.76tev pb+pb collisions @xcite ] the spectra were fit with @xmath55-scaled @xmath27 fit function with exponential function , and the slope parameters of @xmath9220mev , which is almost independent of centrality , were obtained .
the alice experiment recently measured real photons using external conversion technique , namely , by looking at the conversion of real photons into @xmath34 in the material of the inner detectors .
figure [ figphenixalicelowpt](b ) shows the direct photon @xmath4 spectrum measured by the alice experiment in 0 - 40% pb+pb collisions at @xmath25=2.76tev , together with the exponential fit to the low @xmath4 region @xcite .
the ratio of the slope parameter from phenix and alice measurements is 1.38 . from the published result on the bjorken energy density at pb+pb top centrality from the cms experiment @xcite and one at au+au from the phenix experiment @xcite
, one can find that the ratio of bjorken energy density of the lhc pb+pb collisions ( @xmath914gev/@xmath56 ) to that of rhic au+au ( @xmath95.7gev/@xmath56 ) is 2.6 , which is smaller than the one expected the ratio of slope parameters ( 1.38@xmath57 = 3.65 ) .
this is because the photons measured experimentally are a sum of the photons from all the stages from the initial to the final state of collisions and their slope parameters reflect `` average '' temperature , while the energy density is measured at the thermalization . in order to obtain the temperature at all the stages as well as the initial energy density
, one has to run a hydrodynamical simulation that has a realistic time profile of the system .
one might ask if the excess of photons over the initial hard scattering process is due to cold nuclear matter effect ( cnm ) such as @xmath4-broadening .
phenix has recently measured the direct photon production in @xmath58+au collisions to quantify the cnm effect , using the same internal conversion technique applied to au+au collisions .
figure [ figphotondau ] shows the @xmath26 of the direct photons in @xmath58+au and au+au collisions along with a model on the cnm and parton energy loss effect @xcite .
it was found that the cnm effect to the direct photon production is negligible compared to the large excess seen in au+au collisions . in @xmath58+au and au+au
collisions at @xmath25=200gev @xcite . ]
after the system reached to local equilibrium , the system proceeds to hydrodynamic expansion and its interaction with hard scattered partons , which results in the anisotropic emission of particles .
the magnitude of the anisotropy can be studied from the azimuthal angle distribution of particles relative to the second order event plane angle ( @xmath59 , called as elliptic flow ) . for particles with low @xmath4 ( @xmath60 gev/@xmath11 ) , the @xmath59
are understood in terms of pressure - gradient anisotropy in an initial `` almond - shaped '' collision zone produced in non - central collisions .
recently , a large @xmath59 of particles and its scaling in terms of kinetic energy have been found for identified charged hadrons at rhic @xcite .
it suggested that the system is locally in equilibrium as early as 0.4fm/@xmath11 , and the flow occurs at the partonic level @xcite .
there are predictions that photons also have a collective motion and their @xmath59 show different signs and/or magnitudes depending on the production processes @xcite .
the observable is useful to disentangle the contributions from various photon sources in the @xmath4 region where they intermix .
the photons from hadron - gas interaction and thermal radiation may follow the collective expansion of a system , and give a positive @xmath59 .
those photons produced by jet - photon conversion or in - medium bremsstrahlung will increase as the size of the medium to traverse increases and result in a negative @xmath59 .
the fragment photons will give positive @xmath61 since larger energy loss of jets is expected in the orthogonal direction to the event plane .
phenix has measured the @xmath59 of direct photons by subtracting the @xmath59 of hadron decay photons off from that of the inclusive photons , following the formula below : @xmath62 here , @xmath63 is obtained either from internal conversion or external conversion method , and @xmath64 is obtained from real photons or their external conversions .
figure [ figphenixphotonv2](a ) shows the direct photon @xmath59 in minimum bias au+au collisions at @xmath25=200gev measured by the phenix experiment using both internal conversion and external conversion technique @xcite .
( a , left ) direct photon elliptic flow ( @xmath59 ) in minimum bias 200gev au+au collisions measured by the phenix experiment , using internal conversion ( marked as arxiv:1105.4126 ) and external conversion technique @xcite .
( b , right ) direct photon @xmath59 in 0 - 40% 2.76tev pb+pb collisions measured by the alice experiment using external conversion technique @xcite . ]
( a , left ) direct photon elliptic flow ( @xmath59 ) in minimum bias 200gev au+au collisions measured by the phenix experiment , using internal conversion ( marked as arxiv:1105.4126 ) and external conversion technique @xcite .
( b , right ) direct photon @xmath59 in 0 - 40% 2.76tev pb+pb collisions measured by the alice experiment using external conversion technique @xcite . ]
the @xmath59 of direct photons is sizable and positive , and comparable to the flow of hadrons for @xmath133gev/@xmath11 .
the alice experiments also obtained the direct photon @xmath59 in 0 - 40% pb+pb collisions , using external conversion technique recently @xcite .
although the energy density and the temperature of the two systems are very different , the @xmath59 at lhc is surprisingly similar to what phenix has found at rhic .
there are many models that tried explaining the rhic result .
several models predicted the positive flow of the photons assuming the photons are boosted with hydrodynamic expansion of the system , but the magnitudes from these models are significantly lower than the measurement @xcite .
there are two models that give relatively large flows . from a theoretical model increasing hadron - gas interaction contribution @xcite .
( a , left ) @xmath59 from the model calculation , and ( b , right ) corresponding @xmath4 spectra . ] from a theoretical model increasing hadron - gas interaction contribution @xcite .
( a , left ) @xmath59 from the model calculation , and ( b , right ) corresponding @xmath4 spectra . ]
figure [ figtheoryphotonv2_1 ] shows a model calculation with increasing photon contribution from hadron - gas interaction @xcite .
since the hadrons have a large positive flow as we observed , the photons produced by the interaction with these hadrons result in a large flow . the models
( a ) and ( b ) correspond to two ways of incorporating hard photon contribution , namely , a pqcd parametrization and a fit to phenix p+p data , respectively .
the spectra in low @xmath4 ( 1@xmath103gev/@xmath11 ) region in this model , where qgp photons are said to dominate , is overwhelmed by the hadron - gas interaction , and qgp contribution is hardly seen .
figure [ figtheoryphotonv2_2 ] shows a model calculation for direct photon higher order flow ( @xmath65 ) for two initial conditions , glauber - based ( mcglb ) and cgc - based ( mckln ) conditions , and the corresponding @xmath4 spectrum for the mcglb case @xcite . from a theoretical model with including initial state fluctuation and shear viscosity @xcite .
( a , left ) @xmath59 from the model calculation , and ( b , right ) corresponding @xmath4 spectra for mcglb case . ] from a theoretical model with including initial state fluctuation and shear viscosity @xcite .
( a , left ) @xmath59 from the model calculation , and ( b , right ) corresponding @xmath4 spectra for mcglb case . ]
the shear viscosity is increased from @xmath66=0.08 to 0.20 when switching from mcglb to mckln , in order that the model still describes the flow of hadrons .
the dashed and sold lines are before and after viscous corrections are applied on the rates .
the reason that this model gives higher values of @xmath65 for mckln is that the rate of qgp photons are reduced in order to compensate the viscous entropy production . for a reference , a recent 3 + 1d hydrodynamic calculation with a new cgc - inspired initial state ( ip - glasma )
gives a good description of @xmath65 for charged hadrons at rhic with shear viscosity of @xmath66=0.08 @xcite .
this implies that the determination of @xmath66 is significantly affected by initial conditions .
both models effectively assume a reduction of qgp photons and call for the hadron - gas photon contribution .
further development at the theory side to explain the data is clearly deserved .
an another model tries to explain the large flow by the interaction of photons with the strong magnetic field existing in the non - central collisions @xcite .
the measurement of triangular flow ( @xmath67 ) may be useful to discriminate the models ; for instance , the strong magnetic field scenario gives @xmath68 while hydrodynamical expansion scenario gives sizable positive @xmath67 @xcite .
the phenix experiment has performed the first measurement of the @xmath34 invariant mass spectra in @xmath27 and au+au collisions at @xmath25=200gev at rhic as shown in figure [ figphenixdilepton1 ] @xcite .
mass spectra in minimum bias 200gev au+au collisions measured by the phenix experiments together with cocktail calculation of known sources .
( b , right ) centrality dependence of @xmath34 mass spectra and corresponding cocktail calculations for the same dataset @xcite . ] mass spectra in minimum bias 200gev au+au collisions measured by the phenix experiments together with cocktail calculation of known sources .
( b , right ) centrality dependence of @xmath34 mass spectra and corresponding cocktail calculations for the same dataset @xcite . ] mass spectra in various centralities in 200gev au+au collisions measured by the star experiment .
( b , right ) ratios of data to cocktail calculation for each centralities @xcite . ] mass spectra in 20 - 40% au+au collisions measured by the phenix experiment in 2010 , with a hadron blind detector ( hbd ) installed .
( b , right ) comparison of the ratio of the integrated yields in the lmr to the cocktail calculations in 2004 and 2010 dataset @xcite .
] mass spectra in 20 - 40% au+au collisions measured by the phenix experiment in 2010 , with a hadron blind detector ( hbd ) installed .
( b , right ) comparison of the ratio of the integrated yields in the lmr to the cocktail calculations in 2004 and 2010 dataset @xcite . ]
the left panel shows the minimum bias mass spectra with hadronic cocktail components .
the right panel shows the centrality dependence of mass spectra with cocktail calculations .
the @xmath27 results are well reproduced by the cocktail of known sources of @xmath34 , whereas the au+au data show a strong enhancement at low mass region ( lmr , @xmath69gev/@xmath70 ) compared to cocktail calculations .
the enhancement for the 0 - 10% central collisions is a factor of @xmath71 and that for minimum bias collisions is @xmath72 , respectively .
the star experiment also recently obtained @xmath34 mass spectra in @xmath27 and au+au collisions at @xmath73gev as shown in figure [ figstardilepton1 ] @xcite . in the same lmr ,
the enhancement for 0 - 10% central collisions is @xmath74 , and that for minimum bias collisions is @xmath75 , respectively .
clearly , there is a discrepancy in the magnitudes of the excess by a factor of 3 - 4 between two experiments .
phenix has installed a hadron blind detector ( hbd ) in 2010 run in order to reduce systematic uncertainty of the measurement and also to confirm the previous result .
the hbd is a cherenkov detector with cf4 gas and rejects the @xmath34 tracks from photon conversions and dalitz decay of @xmath19 s , which are major background in lmr measurement , by looking at the opening angle of pair tracks in a magnetic field free region @xcite .
figure [ figphenixdilepton2](a ) shows the @xmath34 mass spectra measured in 20 - 40% au+au collisions in the 2010 run with the hbd @xcite .
the analysis for the most central collisions are still in progress .
phenix measurements of 2004 and 2010 have several differences in both data ( magnetic field and detector material budget ) , and cocktail calculations ( mc@nlo is used for charm contribution estimate in 2010 ) .
phenix has made a comparison of the data / cocktail ratio for the integrated yield in lmr obtained in the 2004 and 2010 runs for the three centrality bins as shown in figure [ figphenixdilepton2](b ) .
it is seen that the two runs give consistent results within uncertainties .
it should be noted that the previous phenix data showed most of the excess is seen in most central events ( 0 - 20% ) , whose analysis is still in progress .
the discrepancy between phenix and star results persists until phenix comes up with the new result with hbd . as for the star data ,
some concern is put on the fact that the cocktail calculation in @xmath27 collisions over - predicts data points in the lmr , though they are still consistent within systematic errors . if one correct for the over - prediction , it is possible star and phenix see the same amount of excess . further effort to understand the discrepancy
is deserved . as measured for photons ,
the measurement of dilepton flow is useful .
there is a radial flow measurement of dileptons by the na60 experiment @xcite , and an elliptic flow measurement by the star experiment @xcite that could help disentangling the source of the dileptons that contribute to this particular mass region .
a theory study is also in progress @xcite .
mass spectra measured by the star experiment in 19.6 , 62.4 and 200gev au+au collisions , together with cocktail calculation and a theoretical model assuming in - medium modification of @xmath22 spectral function @xcite . ]
the excess in lmr has been explained by various models including in - medium broadening of the @xmath22 mesons or their mass shift @xcite .
the measurement of the energy dependence of the excess may provide a discrimination of these models .
the star experiment recently came up with the @xmath34 invariant mass spectra for minimum bias au+au collisions at @xmath76 19.6 , 62.4 , and 200gev as shown in figure [ figstardilepton2 ] @xcite .
star observed a qualitatively similar excess as observed by the ceres measurements in the pb@xmath77au at @xmath7817.2gev @xcite . in each of the three panels the hadron cocktail simulation includes contributions from dalitz decays , photon conversions ( 19.6gev only ) , and the dielectron decay of the @xmath33 and @xmath79 vector mesons .
the cocktail simulations purposely exclude contributions from @xmath22 mesons .
instead , these are explicitly included in the model calculation by rapp @xcite which involve in - medium modifications of the @xmath22 meson spectral shape in the isentropic fireball evolution . the lmr enhancement measured by star are consistently agreeing with these model calculations within the quoted errors .
one should be careful on taking the absolute magnitude of the excess in all energies , provided that there is still the issue of inconsistency between star and phenix .
nonetheless , it is interesting to see that the relative change as a function cms energy is well described by this model calculation .
if it is the case , the flow of this mass region may exhibit the @xmath80 scaling with assuming they are all @xmath22 .
the recent results on direct photons and dileptons in high energy heavy ion collisions , obtained particularly at rhic and lhc are reviewed .
the results are new not only in terms of the probes , but also in terms of the precision .
much progress has been made in understanding high @xmath4 direct photons as well as @xmath29-bosons with the latest rhic and lhc results .
the soft single photons have been studied down to lower @xmath4 using internal conversion and external conversion technique at rhic and lhc , and exhibit the average temperature of the system .
a large flow of soft photons was also observed both at rhic and lhc , which are not explained by models considering qgp only so far .
the low mass dilepton excess was observed at the phenix and star experiments at rhic in au+au collisions , but are not quantitatively agreeing each other .
the flow of dilepton is as important as the one of photons , and experiments should make an effort to improve the measurement .
the star results on dileptons at several cms energies shows that the excess in lmr is consistent with in - medium modification of the @xmath22 meson spectral function .
if it is the case , the flow of this mass region may exhibit the @xmath80 scaling with assuming they are all @xmath22 .
this is an interesting topic to explore .
see for example , a. bzdak and v. skokov , phys .
lett . *
110 * , 192301 ( 2013 ) .
see for example , r. chatterjee , d. k. srivastava and t. renk , arxiv:1401.7464 [ hep - ph ] .
f. geurts [ star collaboration ] , nucl . phys .
a904 - 905 * 2013 * , 217c ( 2013 ) .
l. adamczyk _ et al . _ [ star collaboration ] , arxiv:1312.7397 [ hep - ex ] .
w. anderson , b. azmoun , a. cherlin , c. y. chi , z. citron , m. connors , a. dubey and j. m. durham _ et al .
_ , nucl .
instrum .
a * 646 * , 35 ( 2011 ) . | arxiv |
Exact solution to a 2D/3D Poiseuille flow in a channel
Hi everyone and thank you in advance for any help. I am struggling to find an analytical solution to either a 2D or 3D Poiseuille flow in a rectangular duct. All I can find is 1D example. Can someone please point me out to the right direction. I have already checked out the Hagen Poiseuille for pipes but I need for rectangular channel.
Hele-Shaw flow - the flow between two closely spaced parallel plates can be regarded as a spaciel case of 3D Poiseuille flow. It's governing equations are:
$\frac{\partial u}{\partial x}+\frac{\partial v}{\partial y}=0$
$\frac{1}{\mu}\frac{\partial p}{\partial x}=\frac{\partial^2 u}{\partial z^2}$
$\frac{1}{\mu}\frac{\partial p}{\partial y}=\frac{\partial^2 v}{\partial z^2}$
$\frac{\partial p}{\partial z}=0$
where $u,v$ are the velocities in the x and y directions respectively.
As can be seen, the momentum equations are non-coupled and thus can be solved separately to yield a "Poiseuille flow" in each direction.
$\bar{u}=\frac{h^2}{12\mu}\frac{\partial p}{\partial x}$
$\bar{v}=\frac{h^2}{12\mu}\frac{\partial p}{\partial y}$.
| stackexchange/physics |
in october 1926 , berlin hosted the first international scientific conference to take place in germany after the first world war .
following months of preparation and negotiation with the german government to provide financial support for the conference , and cultural excursions for its participants , the proceedings opened with a speech by the minister for the interior wilhelm klz given at the reichstag and attended by luminaries such as chancellor wilhelm marx and president paul von hindenburg .
the conference attracted much media attention prior to , during , and following the proceedings , which the conservative kreuzzeitung welcomed as the end to the boycott of german science.
yet , in the german world of science which had produced the majority of nobel laureates in the first quarter of the twentieth century , this pivotal meeting of scientists included neither albert einstein nor sigmund freud , neither fritz haber nor max planck .
that same year , the german press remained attuned to other public displays of moll s scientific authority .
several newspapers covered the daily proceedings of a trial concerning the accusation of sexual misconduct , in which moll served as an expert witness .
the defendant had served as the rector of a boy s academy in zossen , a few miles south of berlin . because of its proximity to berlin
the story drew the attention of several metropolitan reporters , who conveyed every sordid facet .
for instance , one argument in the case involved the question of whether the rector had spanked students in order to discipline them or to satisfy his own sexual desires . while the trial itself contained no shortage of such salacious details , much of the media s attention focused upon the debate amongst the expert witnesses regarding the very meaning and applicability of
sexual as well as state laws prohibiting infractions of sexual indecency. the expert opinions in this trial , berlin s largest daily newspaper the berliner morgenpost reported , will play an important role here as will active altercations between different scientific trends pitted against one another.
in some ways the direction of the emerging discipline of sexology appeared to be on trial as well . this court case and the conference
were connected by more than their coincidence in 1926 , as key aspects of the trial were treated in two of moll s addresses during the internationaler kongress fr sexualforschung [ international congress
for sexual research ] . in his talk
concerning psychological appraisal of young witnesses in sex trials , he defended the reliability of young witnesses to provide accurate courtroom testimony ; in homosexuality and so - called eros moll addressed the reluctance of same - sex desiring men to identify their actions as
homosexual.
the conference as a whole aimed to enhance the respectability of sexology , because the field s reputation had suffered in the years prior to the war .
this was due , in part , to the obscure language employed by leading practitioners , and to the embarrassing testimonies offered in highly publicised trials such as the eulenburg affair ( see below ) .
thus , moll s role in each of the proceedings in the courtroom and at the congress conveyed the degree of prestige achieved by researchers in sexology by the 1920s .
whereas much previous scholarship frames sexologists and their work in the context of contemporary scientific advances , political struggles , and social values , this article instead examines how sexological ideas shaped state practices .
focusing upon
the practice of expert testimony , and specifically on sexologists acting as forensic examiners , offers one way to measure the social and political impact of sexology .
sexual forensics helped transform private sexual matters into concerns of public state officials , and scientific experts such as moll served as key functionaries in this process .
this article uses moll as a case study to examine how experts exerted the basis of their authority , earned and maintained public recognition , and how each of these processes extended the importance of sexual knowledge and its effects .
while debates over forensic evidence provide one way to assess the impact of sexology , this article also examines the contested role of early twentieth - century sexologists serving as forensic experts in german courtrooms . in so doing ,
it casts the work of albert moll in the larger context of german sexologists offering expert testimony regarding the meaning of sex acts and sexuality . over the first decades of the twentieth century the courtroom transformed as a social space , becoming a setting not only where legal issues were resolved , but also a location where the defendant s sexual character was evaluated
accordingly , this article tracks moll s position among competing interpretations of homosexuality as they played out in the german courtroom , and within efforts to make same - sex desire legible for the administration of criminal justice .
moll was a vital figure in these transformations , and the courtroom became a new site for evaluating the legal meanings of sexuality .
first , it places moll and his work in the context of the growing significance of forensic psychiatry in general and sexual forensics in particular , during the first decades of the twentieth century . while doing so , it emphasises the contested views amongst various experts regarding both the nature of human sexuality and the role of sexual scientists in its interpretation .
the following two sections use three court cases , as well as moll s conference , to examine the ways in which moll and others put sexology on display in public forums , particularly the courtroom .
finally , the article concludes by considering the role experts serve in democratic society and situates moll s work in the trajectory of the scientification of the social and sexual .
as explicit discussion of sexual matters in open forums ranging from the reichstag chamber to the courtroom , from newspapers to academic journals crescendoed in the 1920s , moll and his colleagues attempted to consolidate their authority by speaking on such topics . yet , a range of factors both facilitated and inhibited the mandate of moll s and others expertise .
german laws prohibiting various sexual acts lacked transparency , and their vague wording was left open to interpretation .
indecent behaviours with a dependent minor , but did not make clear how one was to determine whether the general shame and moral feelings had been violated.
sexologists frequently assisted jurists in adjudicating cases concerning a variety of purported sexual deviancies , especially same - sex acts and desires between men , thus establishing their authority in matters of sexual forensics .
these efforts were hindered by a lack of consensus amongst leading practitioners , as well as the inherent difficulties in translating and reconciling theories into practices . further complicating the scientific authority claimed by sexologists was the context of growing animosity directed at the increasing trend towards specialisation and expertise during the years of the weimar republic .
moll and others found themselves working to convince not only state officials but also the general public of their authority . as was the case in bolshevik russia , forensic expertise was a public , not a private act , as the historian dan healey has recently argued , in common with the educative function of patient demonstrations in the lecture hall or hospital ward , expert opinions were staged events in which the subject s bodies and minds , characteristics and injuries , were uncovered , shown , and explained for lay audiences.
the peculiarities of german law inadvertently provided german sexologists the opportunity to project and consolidate their authority on sexual subjects . in germany ,
only same - sex acts between men could be prosecuted ( section 175 of the german penal code ) .
perverse sexual
acts ( widernatrliche unzucht ) often left itself open to interpretation and led many judges to rely upon scientific interpretation of a defendant s motives and behaviours . in the late nineteenth century , persons standing trial under section 175 of the penal code found themselves at a moment when important shifts in sexology and criminology were taking place .
they were simultaneously the subjects and objects of these discourses and part of a larger effort to identify recurrent characteristics of perceived criminal types .
the work of johann ludwig casper ( 17961864 ) , the berlin trail - blazer in the field of medical jurisprudence , inspired much renewed interest after 1850 , as it concerned forensic sexuality and was written for doctors who might be called to give expert testimony .
prior to entering the courtroom , as in other criminal cases , the nature of evidence was subject to debate .
yet , attempts to identify either homosexuals or same - sex acts proved challenging as experts disagreed upon what could serve as evidence as well as the appropriate means of its collection . for a long time , legal practitioners were at odds in determining how to identify homosexuals .
this became a further problem in 1871 , as germany unified under prussian leadership , and subsequently all twenty - five states were forced to adopt the prussian legal code .
whereas many of the more liberal states such as bavaria had repealed their anti - homosexual legislation in the 1810s under the code napoleon , german unification required these states to adopt prussia s conservative stance on what the former considered private individual matters .
from the onset ,
jurists in several non - prussian states pleaded uncertainty concerning the legal meaning of perverse sexual acts , especially with regard to its religious connotations .
prosecutions under section 175 remained scant in these states during the 1870s , which resulted , in part , from the ambiguity of its wording , and from what historian helmut walser smith terms the recrudescence of confessional conflict following german unification .
yet , after a decade of relative inaction , and in response to juridical criticism , an 1880 ruling by the leipzig imperial court offered what promised to be a definitive statement regarding the applicability of section 175 .
namely , it applied only in cases where acts resembling ( hnlich ) sexual intercourse can be demonstrated to have occurred , thus limiting its interpretation to anal and or inter - femoral sex .
such interpretation proved prevalent in german courtrooms throughout the 1880s and 1890s , and reflected johann casper s influential directives in the field of forensic pathology .
understanding the aetiology of sexual desire was crucial to several central european jurists , because many early works in the field of sexual science were intended for use within the courtroom .
for instance , regarding cases involving homosexuality , the widely used handbook by austrian criminologist hans gross ( 18471915 ) advised examining magistrates that it should be decided in each case whether we have to deal with a disease of the mind or an innate peculiarity.
the greatest dispute concerned the very manner in which sex and sexuality were classified .
contemporary practitioners recognised this dilemma , and noted its relationship to the problems of identification and interpretation .
according to the swiss psychologist hans kunz ( 190482 ) , writing in the zeitschrift fr sexualforschung [ journal for
sexology ] ( 1926 ) : there is no prospect of a general agreement on a valid definition of what we mean by sexuality .
other academically tolerated sciences find themselves in the same situation , psychology and biology , for example .
nobody will , in the hope of achieving general agreement , dare to offer an exact definition of soul or
life.
there is no prospect of a general agreement on a valid definition of what we mean by sexuality .
other academically tolerated sciences find themselves in the same situation , psychology and biology , for example .
nobody will , in the hope of achieving general agreement , dare to offer an exact definition of soul or
life.
acting as expert witnesses thus served two functions for the growing field of sexology .
first , it provided a location to work out debates regarding the origin and nature of ( homo ) sexual desires .
second , this role helped to legitimise the nascent profession , whose standing remained uncertain in the eyes of some contemporaries both in the medical profession and beyond .
yet , such confidence proved fragile , as experts at times also undermined their newfound status by providing evidence later found to be contradictory , misleading or even false .
testimony offered by expert witnesses served as a point of interest amongst criminologists , as did the use of criminal psychology by such experts to identify homosexuality . in his oft - cited kriminalpsychologie [ forensic psychology ] , hans gross encouraged his fellow judges to employ experts in areas where magistrates own interests proved lacking .
the expert , he argued , whether a very modest workman or very renowned scholar , must in the first instance become convinced of the judge s complete interest in his work ; of the judge s power to value the effort and knowledge it requires ; of the fact that he does not question and listen merely because the law requires it , and finally of the fact that the judge is endowed , so far as it may be , with a definite comprehension of the expert s task. furthermore , he encouraged penal sentences offering
, more and more practitioners wrestled with how to employ psychological analysis in the courtroom ; for instance , a 1929 study entertained the notion that same - sex desires should be understood not merely through the prism of the criminal mind , but simultaneously as the manifestation of societal fears of a community breakdown into its grossly sexual manifestations.
yet , other experts still expressed the view that sexual deviancy in general , and homosexuality in particular , was a congenital abnormality , recognisable as
criminal stigmata.
expert testimony could be fraught with paradox and often received with cynicism .
when judges called sexologists to offer expert evaluations , the choice was a political one , as the methods and interpretations of these experts varied considerably .
one of moll s professional rivals , sexologist magnus hirschfeld ( 18681935 ) , at times found himself providing evidence to help adjudicate a law that he himself had organised committees and petitions to repeal .
the public and media were often aware of the stakes involved with selecting who would provide expert testimony , and that such choices reflected the arbitrary and unpredictable nature of the justice system , particularly in the years prior to the first world war .
this was indeed the case during the notorious eulenburg affair ( 19079 ) a highly publicised and politicised series of trials pertaining to accusations of sexual indecency involving the entourage of kaiser wilhelm ii ; chiefly involved were his personal friend and advisor prince phillip zu eulenburg ( 18471921 ) and general kuno graf von moltke ( 18471923 ) , both exposed by journalist maximilian harden .
press reports vilified hirschfeld s role as an expert as well as the theories he purported .
we should be weary of the dirty finger , one article begins , of this pseudo - scientist ( afterwissenschaftler) polluting the public sphere with his self - made products of perversity .
the circulation of his dodgy ( windige ) hypotheses regarding notorious facts are a sign of the times ( ein zeichen der zeit).
the expert opinion drew particular scorn , as hirschfeld purportedly identified the defendant s sexual character by observation in the courtroom , and based his decision on the feminine features he perceived as well as consideration of comments made by the defendant s wife . remarkable in this case
was the relating of a sexual identity the defendant s effeminate mannerisms displayed in court to presupposed sexual acts .
the relationship between personal characteristics and behaviours would become more prominent in cases tried in the 1920s and 1930s .
hirschfeld s expert testimony in prominent cases throughout the 1900s , however , blemished the reputation of sexology in the public s eye ; it arguably would not recover until after the war .
speaking before the crowded congress hall at the international sexology congress in berlin in 1926 , moll addressed the special role of expert testimony in trials pertaining to sexual offences . following the earlier views of caspar and gross , and reiterating claims from his own work published in the 1890s
, moll emphasised the need for expert witnesses to distinguish first between innate and acquired homosexuality. furthermore , he advised his colleagues to heed caution when presenting ideas to non - medical audiences whether it be a trial jury or the educated public because their personal views might be predisposed towards a sceptical view of medical science .
regarding testimony in cases pertaining to homosexuality , he offered two further recommendations . first , he claimed :
the opinion of a so - called expert can be dangerous to public safety when he states that in principle all cases of same - sex desire are innate , yet conceals from the court that the opposite opinion also has medical supporters. furthermore , moll continued ,
i would like to state and demonstrate that in the public s opinion everywhere , homosexuality stands beneath heterosexuality. for as he reminded his audience , this negative opinion of homosexuality is connected undoubtedly to the people s healthy feeling ( gesundes gefhl des
volkes ) , and with the drive towards self - preservation of the human race.
many of moll s comments found support in the conference address of the psychologist wilhelm weygandt , beitrge zur forensischen sexualpathologie [ contributions in forensic sexualpathology ] , in which he advocated , in any case it is appropriate in matters of homosexual offences that at least an examination of its foundations be conducted.
as the following sections suggest , moll s admonishments derived directly from his experiences in the courtroom .
albert moll s activities during the 1920s occurred during the twilight moments of a juridical transition . by the dawn of the weimar republic the law and its protectors remained one of the few constants in a society still yet to recover fully from the upheaval of the first world war .
although legislators installed a new constitution in 1919 , the criminal code remained largely unchanged , as did its adjudicators .
yet
patterns of interpretation for section 175 and other sexual offences revealed broader parameters regarding the understandings of sex and sexuality , and both the conviction rate and severity of penal sentences spiked . while historians have often described the weimar republic as an experiment in democracy , its jurists experimented with new epistemologies of justice .
immoral acts relied less on moral or religious interpretations of section 175 than had been the case in the 1880s and 1890s .
instead , jurists and sexologists collaborated in a search for new logics , which would prove plausible to an increasingly secular state and society following decades of moral panic.
this resulted in expanding , rather than restricting , the possible meanings of ( homo-)sexuality .
the shift within sexual forensics towards an expansive interpretation and application of section 175 was already underway in the months immediately before the war .
a telltale sign of this transformation was a 1914 pamphlet addressed to jurists , doctors and educated laymen , eros vor dem reichgericht [ eros before the
imperial court ] , which used moll s untersuchungen ber die libido sexualis [ investigations concerning the sexual libido ] and die contrre sexualempfindung [ the contrary sexual feeling ] to establish several of its claims .
while regarding inter - femoral , anal , and oral sex as punishable offences , it offered an even wider range of acts that would go unpunished , ranging from the sensual embraces between clothed persons to mutual masturbation .
these arguments generally mirrored those found in the chapter on forensics in moll s popular handbuch fr sexualwissenschaften [ handbook of sexology ] , published two years earlier and reprinted in 1926 , particularly its remarks on the forensic relationship to psychopathology. their diverse nature , moll claimed , affects the very particular criminal law. concerning same - sex acts between men specifically , he opined ,
many acts are prosecutable , and indeed fall under section 175.
attention to the language of individual court records permits a preliminary consideration of whether such deliberations were heeded in practice .
in general , discussion of evidence within the courtroom became quite explicit by the 1920s . during previous decades ,
the language of court reports of cases regarding section 175 displayed much ambiguity and did so mechanically .
judges referred only to sexual parts ( geschlechtsteile ) , and by the early twentieth century ,
homosexual acts ( homosexuelle handlungen ) ; however , the usage of select verbs such as to insert made clear that the context denoted anal or inter - femoral sex . rarely did other sexual acts or desires receive mention ; if they did , then only to note that they were not punishable .
courtroom language was equally restrained in other cases of moral violations pertaining to sexual acts ; for instance cases concerning prostitution both female and male mentioned only sexual intercourse and monetary matters ( gewerbsmssig ) ; the latter often dominated deliberation . also remarkable
is that jurists employed the word used for heterosexual intercourse ( verkehr ) to describe same - sex acts until the 1920s .
although they conflated the terminology related to heterosexual and homosexual intercourse , judges also began expanding the parameters of what counted as
sexual under the law . in general , courtroom procedure followed from the free evaluation of evidence ( freie beweiswrdigung ) , section 260 , which meant that once each case reached the courtroom , judges did not base their decisions upon legal precedent , but rather upon the evidence presented in each individual case .
in addition , under german trial procedure , the presiding judge questioned the defendant and all other witnesses prior to the prosecutor and defence council .
in several cases expert opinion focused not only on the sexual act itself , but also on the defendant s sexual character . although an entire chapter of his memoirs was devoted to his work as an expert witness , moll curiously offered few words about sexual forensics , despite his frequent presentation of expert testimony in such matters .
in 1926 , his work in this field took him to the outskirts of the reich , to stettin , the capital of the prussian province of pomerania , where he testified in a trial concerning two young men heinz m. and hermann s. who stood accused of partaking in perverse sexual acts with one another .
following common procedure , in order to indict , the police investigation initially produced three witnesses .
this meant typically the two men engaging in the acts in question as well as a third party , who might or might not have witnessed the act ( often either a landlord or police watchman ) .
prosecutors suggested inviting the berlin sexologist albert moll to serve as an expert witness ; the presiding judge found no reason to object .
tests of the defendant s sexual character , including obtaining a writing sample and a description of the contents of his trouser pockets .
the purpose of these inquiries was not to ascertain whether heinz m. had engaged in sexual intercourse with hermann s. , but rather to sketch the former s sexual character or as the state prosecutor stegemann put it , the picture of one s personality was to be determined from the question of his sexual integrity ( unbescholtenheit).
such logic would conflate a sexual identity with sexual acts without necessarily demonstrating that the latter took place ( as heinz m. denied having engaged in same - sex acts with hermann s. ) .
whereas in earlier years the case might have been one of the twelve to twenty per cent dismissed before reaching the courtroom because of a lack of evidence , the judge decided to hear the case , directing it towards a demonstration of the defendant s
deviant personality , rather than showing that he had explicitly committed an act prohibited by law .
moll believed that heinz m. displayed effeminate traits , but could not be classified as a potential recidivist .
the successful prosecution of heinz m. for engaging in mutual masturbation represents a pattern , of judges expanding the consideration of what could serve as evidence of sex. other cases illustrate concern for the sexual acts themselves , and show that successful prosecution was not restricted to demonstrating anal sex . during the 1920s ,
judges frequently considered evidence of mutual masturbation as sufficient for conviction . in such cases ,
in addition to luridly describing the sex acts themselves , judges compelled defendants to describe their sexual histories which often included detailed experiences and emotional responses .
in fact , as would be the case with trials concerning race defilement in the third reich , these interrogations often devoted much attention to eliciting facts that would later prove irrelevant to the assessment of guilt .
this unyielding attention to detail by judicial investigators resulted , in part , from the often - painstaking standards of proof requiring thorough documentation of a crime and of criminal motives . to corroborate the latter
, jurists often called sexologists to frame the context of meaning regarding a defendant s sexual acts .
such efforts were not altogether uncommon in the 1920s , as determining a perpetrator s attitude ( gesinnung ) roughly understood as one s ethical framework played an expanded role in the german criminal justice system .
the testimony of sexological experts , however , did not always go unchallenged , and at times the courtroom served as a forum for competing practitioners to debate their ideas . in a few cases
more than one sexologist offered expert testimony , which left judges to determine the more plausible scientific explanation .
some cases represented an expansion in the types of sexual acts that counted as well as a sense that comportment counted as evidence .
both shifts were on display in the 19256 trial of 42-year - old erich l. in zossen , mentioned at the onset of this article .
after having served at the front during the first world war , erich l. returned to the countryside to teach at a local boy s academy ( erziehungsanstalt ) , where his wife s father served as director .
over the course of an eight - month criminal investigation , initiated after an 18-year - old student confessed to his parents that he had engaged in mutual masturbation with his teacher , erich l. , the police found fifty - eight other boys and young men some of whom were fourteen or younger who claimed to have engaged in same - sex acts with him to testify in court .
the problem for the presiding judge was that none of them confessed to partaking in anal sex , and only three initially confessed to masturbation
the decision to prosecute hinged upon whether the act in question took place between naked or clothed participants .
members of the community were outraged at the allegations and demanded proof of erich l.s misconduct .
several letters to the court suggested that the teacher had been a victim of slander .
pseudo - homosexual , who , in the trenches of the first world war , had developed the character habits of a sexual pervert.
such claims , on the one hand , were somewhat common amongst proponents of theories regarding
they also mirrored the assertions of other medical practitioners , which linked the experience of prolonged trench warfare in the first world war to male sexual disorders .
on the other hand , the defendant s veteran status could also serve as evidence of his heteronormative masculinity , which was the basis of claims made by erich l.s wife ; she was the daughter of the academy s founder and also lived at the school . in a letter to the district attorney s office she defended his masculine , and thereby , heterosexual
honour in allusion to both the scars of war as well as those marking his face from his years of duelling in a student fraternity .
protesting the claims made by moll in court , she remarked , based on his [ moll s ] well - known theories , there is absolutely no way to gain understanding of my husband s alien ( wesenfremd ) psyche .
he [ the husband ] is much more inclined toward the corporal punishment of our pupils , which is followed by friendliness in order to show them that all is forgiven and forgotten. one was not witnessing in this corporal punishment , she concluded , the outbreaks of criminal sadism.
yet , even granting moll s well - known anathema to freud and his theories , harder to swallow must have been the intervention by magnus hirschfeld , which drew much public attention . following the court s directive , hirschfeld interviewed erich l. at the institute for sexual science in berlin .
reporting back to the magistrates , hirschfeld offered the following court testimony , which was also directed at moll : homosexuality can not be
acquired by general elements , but rather is always an absolutely endogenous nature grounded exclusively in the congenital constitution and linked to the individuality of a person inseparably and immutably.
mimicking the rhetoric he often used when calling for the repeal of section 175 , hirschfeld argued that because the defendant s desires for members of the same sex were an innate condition , akin to colour - blindness , the law should not punish him .
as berlin s daily newspapers uniformly reported nearly every word from the trial ( including hirschfeld s testimony mentioned above ) , the public easily could follow the process as well as the forensic debate , despite the judges call to limit unwanted attention by closing the trial to both press and public . in response ,
one paper warned the public sphere will not be excluded from following the trial , as it held the right to report the unpleasant incidents .
in fact , the sparring between experts titillated the reading public ; as one report noted , the energy with which hirschfeld delivered his testimony was received by all those participating in the trial with excitement.
nevertheless , hirschfeld s appeal fell on deaf ears , as despite erich l.s lack of previous convictions , under sections 174 and 175 , the state attorney initially suggested a sentence of two years in prison ( gefngnis ) and the loss of citizenship rights for three years . in rendering their sentence , the judges warned that in at least thirteen instances erich l. had acted with sexual motives albeit difficult to prove , and offered concern regarding the danger of further desires manifesting themselves into more dangerous acts directed toward minors ( section 174 ) .
the distinction between corrigible and incorrigible offenders was typical of the broader language of weimar penal reform , and sentencing often reflected concern for preventing recidivism . curiously enough , despite attention devoted to hirschfeld and his theories , as in this case , the emphasis on biological foundations proved of little significance in cases tried over the following decade .
erich l.s trial was representative of shifts in the epistemology of justice witnessed during the 1920s .
unlike prior decades , when the burden of proof rested upon clear demonstration that anal sex had taken place , a wider possible range of meanings was associated with same - sex acts .
furthermore , judges began relying more on expert testimony and distributing harsher penalties . accordingly , not only did the overall rate of prosecution double , but so did the average length of penal sentences . in the years
19029 only fourteen per cent of cases led to a sentence longer than one year , whereas nearly thirty - two per cent did during the years 19229 .
the latter period also witnessed an increasing number of sentences that included a suspension of civic rights or citizenship this part of the sentence would begin after the period of incarceration which rose by eleven per cent compared with the two decades prior .
although these shifts may be merely coincidental , they nevertheless suggest the inclination of various jurists to search for ways to reconcile an old and ambiguous law with modern legitimisations .
in addition , the detailed results of these attempts filled countless sheets of bureaucratic reports , which shared the intimate details of those accused of sex crimes and their partners whether or not they were indeed convicted .
the cases of heinz m. and erich l. are also of interest because they would both eventually appeal their sentence .
most cases presented before the appeals courts prior to the first world war pertained to murder trials ; after 1919 , an increasing number of cases under the broad range of offences against morality were appealed , and in some cases pardoned .
for example , in all cases tried within prussia ( germany s largest state ) , there was a rise from 23,000 pardons in 1919 to 125,000 in 1921 .
furthermore , those convicted under section 175 appealed their sentences more often than other moral offenders , and were also more likely to have a sexologist participate in their trial ( and likewise in the appeals process ) .
the appeal of heinz m. , specifically , was again representative , because the language of his petition contained several themes recurrent in similar cases .
not only did he reference scientific findings questioning how someone might be prosecuted for an inborn condition he also referred to notions of bourgeois respectability when mentioning his marriage , children , and his previous national service during the first world war .
much as in the original trial , the rhetorical strategy of the appeal stressed the characteristics of his masculinity , rather than the sexual act in question .
the zossen case was seemingly on moll s mind when he gave his remarks at the conference in autumn 1926 .
in addition to the expert assessment of erich l.s sexual disposition , the magistrates also based their original ruling on their favourable appraisal of testimonies given by several young boys .
the reliability of adolescent witnesses , however , had been a matter of debate among experts ; for instance , one conference participant , the hamburg psychologist william stern ( 18711938 ) , who also often served as a court - appointed expert , remained sceptical of what young witnesses could convey , as they were particularly prone to suggestion . in his conference paper , however , moll concurred with hans gross s estimation , that in fact , a young boy is the best observer and witness there is .
he observes everything that occurs with interest , synthesises events without prejudice , and reproduces them accurately , while the girl of the same age is often an unreliable , even dangerous witness.
stern s conference presentation also invoked the case of erich l. as a warning about the waves of homosexuality ( inversionswelle ) storming down upon the nation s youth , whose exposure to even the ideas of homosexuality should be regarded as dangerous to impressionable young minds .
even moll s opponents could agree that , at some level , young witnesses understood the meaning of sexual advances if not their erotic comportment .
the congress enjoyed a rather favourable reception among the press , which praised moll for his prestige and expertise .
only moll s personality , exclaimed the tgliche
rundschau , could unite various scientific directions under a single expert. moll s introductory remarks , the same article noted , showed that he was perhaps the most suitable man for the job in germany , not only because he established the conference , but also because his objective leadership will certainly ensure the conference would be free of unnecessary hyperbole. nonetheless , members of the print media noted freud s refusal to participate and moll s decision not to invite hirschfeld .
defending his stance , moll s response to allegations by the socialist vorwrts of reactionary attitudes in sexual questions ( reaktionare gesinnung in sexualfragen ) , revisited the courtroom confrontation concerning sexual forensics and clarified his views on the proper use of expert knowledge : magnus hirschfeld has recently credited himself with the achievement that through his service as expert witness he had saved the accused thousands of years in prison .
i have been told repeatedly , if hirschfeld s expert opinions indeed led to their release , then there would be no more reason to continue demanding the repeal of 175 .
moreover , it is not the role of an expert to save the accused from prison , but to give his expert opinion according to the best of his knowledge and conscience ; neither to disadvantage nor to benefit the accused .
magnus hirschfeld has recently credited himself with the achievement that through his service as expert witness he had saved the accused thousands of years in prison .
i have been told repeatedly , if hirschfeld s expert opinions indeed led to their release , then there would be no more reason to continue demanding the repeal of 175 .
moreover , it is not the role of an expert to save the accused from prison , but to give his expert opinion according to the best of his knowledge and conscience ; neither to disadvantage nor to benefit the accused .
although moll doubted the objectivity of hirschfeld s science , the two shared the opinion that the state should reform its regulations against sexual criminals , and both practised this conviction in the courtroom .
the apparent plasticity of laws protecting crimes and offences against morality was further complicated by efforts geared towards societal rationalisation during the 1920s .
much like the germans fascination with fordism , taylorism , and all things modern , the legal interpretation of sexuality followed the general trend of privileging the role of experts in the scientification of society. the presiding judge , who had formulated his moral compass during imperial germany , was now forced to apply it in cases where defendants embodied the new spirit of ( sexual ) science .
the unsentimental matter - of - factness ( sachlichkeit ) represented in the ways that many men openly and specifically described their sexual experiences might have symbolised the
cool conduct often associated with the bubikopf - wearing new woman of the era .
moll s views , acknowledging both changing mors and gender inversions , were thus emblematic of the times .
as a laboratory of modernity , the weimar republic marked an opportunity for sexologists to seek and solidify their authority .
their efforts were facilitated by what historian lutz raphael terms the scientification of the social , by which he refers to the trend of affording scientific experts the tasks of identifying , interpreting , managing and solving problems caused by social crisis , an extension of the influence they had been gaining since the end of the nineteenth century .
moll s work in sexual forensics illustrates the influence of this process for sexuality as a discourse .
his efforts towards reconciling the ways of understanding , means of recognition , and uses of sexual knowledge for the state represent
conversely , moll s expert testimonies also might be read as an attempt to reconcile sexual theories with lived sexual experiences .
here
first , an emphasis on a defendant s innate sexuality relied upon privileging the biological as the site of sexual truth , whereby the magistrate had to confer his own authority to the sexologist .
second , defendants bodies and sexual histories could be read as a repository of signs , where experts reaffirmed a gendered matrix equating masculinity and heterosexuality .
attention to experts , and the basis of their expertise , allows us to see the cultural conditions of knowledge transfer especially that expressed as tacit knowledge and the social and political implications of its exchange .
judges recognised that same - sex desires were manifested and fulfilled in multifarious ways , and with the help of sexologists reconciled that sexual pleasure was not only physical but emotional .
moll , of course , had distinguished this decades prior , positing same - sex attraction as contrary sexual feelings [ contrre sexualempfindung , 1891 ] . once cases reached the courtroom , judges faced a problem in formulating secular legitimisations for laws that were created and contested on religious morals .
the structure of german law and the disunity concerning how to identify homosexuals forced them to concede new social logics regarding the meaning of
sexual. state officials recognised moll s authority and expertise , granting him nearly 10,000 marks for his conference , and regularly asking him to testify in court , where he earned hundreds more .
although many german business and civic leaders had already rejoined the international community often via rotary clubs following the war , it was not until moll s conference that international scientists returned to germany to renew their professional associations .
moll s personal networks , as well as the state investment in his authority , facilitated this revival each also facilitated the success of the conference , which moll later noted , he organised
all on his own.
moll s expertise therefore opened doors to meld democratic with scientific decision - making . by investigating , defining and quantifying perceived social problems , the new and distinctly
expanded epistemologies of justice resulted from the enhanced status of experts such as moll and other sexologists following the first world war .
while attempts to find new logics to define the legal meaning of same - sex desires marked a somewhat pessimistic rationalisation of social relations , this janus - faced process also bred further democratisation of knowledge , and accordingly , a scientification of the sexual . | pubmed |
In the psychic world, there seems to be much confusion over definitions. What exactly is a psychic, medium and clairvoyant? How can a layperson tell between the three?
Many people do not realize the differences between various types of psychic seers. For those searching for someone to communicate with spirits and energies, the distinctions can be substantial.
Check the thesaurus, and you might see all three words used as synonyms. The word psychic is under clairvoyant, clairvoyant is under medium, and so on. It certainly makes the whole issue bewildering!
This uncertainty makes it hard to identify what (or who) you get when talking or chatting with a psychic, medium or clairvoyant. Do you really need a clairvoyant, or are you better off with a medium or a psychic?
It is possible you need all three, two or only just one!
Psychics are people that read your spirit and are most likely to tell you about your past, present and future.
In a reading, there are many things a psychic could not possibly have known prior to your reading. This makes psychics literally true, at least in the definition of the word. They form a 'mental connection' with you, reading your energy field, so they are sensitive and able to observe your thoughts and energy.
Clairvoyance — translates into "clear seeing." Clairvoyants have visions, dreams and other visual cues from the spirit realm.
Clairaudience — described as "clear hearing." They hear from the spiritual realm.
Clairsentience — "clear sensing." This occurs frequently when contacting someone who passed due to illness or a medical condition.
All three "clairvoyants" work with an ability to experience images of people, places or things in the mind's eye. They are often able to discuss these events during a reading. Clairvoyants are not fortunetellers or seers of the future, although you may receive information about the future in a reading. Regardless, clairvoyance is simply clear seeing, hearing or sensing, not seeing into the future.
A good clairvoyant validates things for you that occurred in the past and clarifies things happening in the present.
Mediums are a little trickier to define. One description of "medium" is the process by which spiritual knowledge passes. Mediums are a conduit through which all energy flows.
That definition might be a little broad; we all are channels of energy, at one time or another. Artists who paint or sketch are a "medium" (as well as the pencil or brush) with creative energy flowing to create art. The same is true for singers (the medium is the voice). Spiritual healers are mediums through which healing energy flows to their clients.
Individuals that say they are genuinely clairvoyant (or a medium) are able to describe loved ones from the spirit world. They can visualize things around your home, or members of your family. The truth is, there are some people who go by the name clairvoyant (or call themselves mediums) that are neither!
They may have psychic or reactive power, but do not "see" anything at all. They are not able to "talk" with loved ones who passed or other spirit entities. They may be exceptionally good readers—Tarot, Tea Leaves, Palms, Crystals and the like—but they might not give you the knowledge you actually wanted.
When choosing a spiritual reader, never be afraid to ask how they work.
A few well-placed questions will give you an idea what to expect in a reading. The best psychics, mediums or clairvoyants will always be ready to explain their specific techniques. | slim_pajama |
Dependence of change in entropy on temperature
The thermodynamic definition of entropy is expressed as
$$dS = \frac{dq\_{rev}}{T}$$
I understand that it depends on amount of heat transferred because heat transfer can be understood as the degree of dispersion of energy but what does the temperature dependence actually mean?
An analogy that I like is one paraphrased from Peter Atkins' great book "The Laws of Thermodynamics - a VSI":
>
> Imagine two rather different places in terms of noise - a silent
> library and a busy train station. Imagine that the temperature is the amount of noise at the given place - a measure of the "state of noise". Let's say that you laugh out loud,
> corresponding to supplying energy as heat.
>
>
> In the library, where there is little background noise (low $T$) this would cause a large amount of disturbance and
> disorder - corresponding to a large increase in entropy. On the busy
> train station, on the other hand, you laughing would go largely
> unnoticed - there is lots of background noise already (high $T$). The (relative) amount of additional disturbance and
> disorder would be much smaller, corresponding to a smaller increase of
> entropy.
>
>
>
In a very cold system, even a tiny amount of supplied energy in terms of heat would cause a large change in entropy. On the other hand, supplying the same amount of energy to a really hot system - with lots of molecular motion going on - would cause a minuscule change in entropy.
**Disclaimer:** Note that the analogy and explanation above are two ways of convincing yourself that the entropy change due to added heat is inversely proportional to the system temperature. They do not claim to be correct or physical in any other sense, so read them with a (large) pinch of salt.
What this equation is saying essentially is that the level of disorder can be modeled as the number of configurations if you have a number of particles and a number of quanta of energy. It's like having three cups and three balls; all the balls can occupy one cup or one ball can occupy one cup and two can occupy another etc. Hence an increase in energy would result in an increase in entropy (more balls and more configurations). Temperature is defined as the average energy of the system. Hence if energy is concentrated (all the balls are in one cup) then the average temperature per particle will be lower and the entropy will be lower which makes sense since the system is more ordered with all the balls in one cup.
I hope this helps answer the question somewhat
If in defining entropy we did not divide the heat by T, heat could flow from a cold body to a hot body with no change in entropy i. e. without breaking the second law.
This does not happen.
Likewise, in order for heat to flow from a hot body to a cold body, the loss of entropy of the hot body has to be smaller than the gain of entropy of the cold body.
I am also often confused and have no clear answer. Consider melting of ice. If we do not allow any physical change (no movement, no pressure change, no volume change), it will not happen. Without volume change when heat is added to gas, entropy cannot increase. We may say the heat was transferred to internal energy...
I think the temperature dependance of entropy is not the nature of entropy Itself but it is caused by the changes of parameters affecting entropy that are affected by temperature such as volume, pressure.. Most thermodynamic equations are for gases. For liquid and solids the final equations may not be the same as those for gases although all definitions should be the same. Based on statistical definition of entropy, $S=k\_\mathrm{B} \ln{W}$, it is obvious that there is no temperature term but it is assumed that particles can freely interchange positions. If particles cannot move ($0\, \pu{K}$), $W=1$ and entropy will be 0 regardless of how many different particles are three. When we calculate entropy changes for melting we just consider $\Delta H$ and T but we do not think about volume changes or anything else. All such changes are already included in the delta H value we use and assumptions. If molecules are not allowed to move, melting will no happen because crystalline state is that molecules cannot move. All reversible processes in thermodynamics allow changes associated With them as long as they are reversible. So, I would prefer not thinking too much about details. Leave them to physicists...
This is a bit of a "chicken-and-egg" problem, as those ultimately dealing with definitions tend to be. The concepts of entropy and temperature were originally developed empirically and were later modified and merged into a coherent theory of thermodynamics. It turns out that temperature can be defined as follows (this follows from the combined 1st and 2nd laws of thermodynamics):
$$T^{-1}=\left( \frac{\partial S}{\partial E} \right)\_V$$
$T^{-1}$ describes the sensitivity of the system's entropy to the addition of energy at constant volume.
What the equation means can also be interpreted if we define entropy as follows (modifying a statement in the OP):
>
> *entropy* can be understood as a measure of the degree of dispersion of energy (the number of possible configurations of the system given the current energy)
>
>
>
When a fixed amount of energy is added to a system more configurations become accessible (invoking concepts from statistical mechanics). At a lower temperature the number of additional configurations - in proportion to the initial number - increases by a greater amount than at a higher temperature. This can be restated as "a higher entropy change results when a very small fixed amount of energy is added to a system at low temperature". This explanation of the difference between the entropy change at low and high temperatures is captured by the silent library/busy train station analogy presented in another answer.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
An opportunity wasted
Amna Umar Khan
At the Organisation of Islamic Cooperation (OIC) in Makkah, Pakistani Prime Minister Imran Khan started off his first ever OIC speech, emphasising the issue he deems the most urgent and compelling concern facing Muslims of the world. He said, "I would raise, first and foremost, the most important question, about whenever in the Western countries, people blaspheme our Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him), I always felt that the response from the Muslim Ummah, and the OIC, was lacking. Therefore I wanted to use this platform (to say) that the OIC owes a responsibility to the Muslim world that when anyone in the Western world blasphemes the Prophet (PBUH), it is a failure of the OIC that we have not been able to explain to the western people the amount of pain they cause us."
The rest of Prime Minister Imran Khan's speech centred upon the oppression the Muslims are facing in Palestine and Kashmir by being deprived of their right to a state and to self-determination. He also said that the Muslim world was not paying much attention to science and technology, despite being on the verge of another industrial revolution with the artificial intelligence and new technologies coming in, and urged more emphasis on education and science.
As with all things to do with Imran Khan, the reception to this speech has been divided. Those who were his fans lauded his speech and the rare occurrence of a Muslim leader headlining the topic of blasphemy in front of the OIC, the second largest intergovernmental body after the UN. Yet his speech has received some criticism, not all from PTI haters or partisan groups, but from some in the international and Arab community as well. The platform, that of the OIC which represents the Muslim collective of the world, is a very meaningful and significant one; thus it would not be out of place to make some constructive criticism of the Prime Minister's speech.
For one, bringing up blasphemy by Western actors as the first and foremost topic in his maiden speech at the OIC begs us to answer the question as to whether that is the most pressing issue facing Muslims currently. Certainly, blasphemy and casual disrespect of Islam in the West is a concern for Muslims; it leads to further marginalisation of the Muslim community in the Western world and causes anti-Muslim radicalisation, leading to the kinds of disasters that we saw in the Christ Church mosque massacre in March. The organised instances of blasphemy against the Prophet (PBUH) in the West also cause unrest and instability in the Muslim-majority countries, which is perhaps precisely what those bad-faith actors intended. Truly, it is an issue that causes distress and damage to the Muslim world, and we need to better communicate to the West the severe harm that occurs due to Islamophobic speech and actions.
Yet, though we recognise that blasphemy is an issue, is it truly such an urgent problem that the Prime Minister of Pakistan should identify it as a failure of the OIC? The last major incident of blasphemy in the West had been that of Geert Wilders, an obscure politician in the Netherlands, who had proposed an extremely disrespectful competition to be held in order to insult Muslims. This had last occurred in August of 2018 and was rightfully cancelled after the Muslim world registered their protest to it. This was nearly a year ago, and since then, although the environment in Western countries may have become increasingly hostile towards Muslims, no such incident which can be called "blasphemous" or disrespectful to the Prophet (PBUH), has occurred that would warrant the kind of urgency implied in the Prime Minister's speech.
The argument could be made that even with the rare incidents of blasphemy in the West, there was a need to emphasise communication with the West due to the progressively hostile environment for Muslims. This argument holds weight but is ignoring the context behind why the OIC meeting was called, and the very significant geopolitical position Pakistan finds itself in today. Tensions between Iran and the Gulf allies of the United States have escalated to the point that war is not too far off if conciliation and peace efforts are not held by neutral stakeholders. Preceding the OIC conference were two emergency Arab meetings the night before in Makkah criticising Iran's behaviour and influence in countries like Syria, Iraq and Lebanon. This clearly indicates that the goal of the OIC conference was to deal with the extremely crucial question of tensions with Iran, which could boil over to a devastating conflict across the entire Middle East and sub-continent area.
Pakistan, being a neighbour of Iran, and an ally of Saudi Arabia, is in a precarious situation and could be the country that could facilitate de-escalation between the two. It appears Iran thinks so too, evidenced by Imran Khan's visit to Tehran right before the OIC. With this context in mind, it would perhaps been more appropriate had our Prime Minister emphasised the importance of peace and brotherhood among Muslims and started off the OIC conference on an anti-war and harmonious note. Instead, while our Prime Minister's speech was certainly impactful and reflected the sentiments of Muslims everywhere, it felt somewhat of a waste of an opportunity to de-escalate a conflict which is right on our doorstep, a conflict which, if exacerbated, could result in complete devastation of our region.
The OIC has been criticised in the past for lack of solutions for Muslim countries in crises. By setting the tone for peace and resolution, Imran Khan could have used the OIC's influence to shape the Muslim body for a more engaging, instrumental role in the geopolitics of today. Prioritising blasphemy cases in the West is definitely a crowd-winner and will appeal to Muslims in Pakistan; yet even after the speech, there is little that the OIC can and will do to combat such incidents other than through condemnation. Our Prime Minister's speech was certainly impactful, yet in the grand scheme of things, will likely have little impact at all.
9:08 AM | September 22, 2018
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IF IT'S SO EXPENSIVE STOP EATING IT!!
Durdana Najam
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Galbuli is one of the two suborders of the order Piciformes and includes two families Bucconidae puffbirds and Galbulidae jacamars. The other suborder Pici is a global group of piciforms, puffbirds and jacamars are only found in the Neotropics.
Systematics
It was thought the jacamars and puffbirds were not closely related to toucans and woodpeckers, but instead related to the order Coraciiformes. However, analysis of nuclear DNA in a 2003 study placed them as sister group to Pici, also showing that the groups had developed zygodactyl feet two toes facing forward and two aft before separating. Per Ericson and colleagues, in analysing genomic DNA, confirmed that puffbirds and jacamars were sister groups and their place in Piciformes. The lineage is sometimes elevated to order level as Galbuliformes, first proposed by Sibley and Ahlquist in 1990.
Taxonomy
The following arrangement of taxa is based on Witt 2004.
Suborder Galbuli
Family Bucconidae
Genus Nonnula
Rusty-breasted nunlet, Nonnula rubecula
Rufous-capped nunlet, Nonnula ruficapilla
Chestnut-headed nunlet, Nonnula amaurocephala
Grey-cheeked nunlet, Nonnula frontalis
Fulvous-chinned nunlet, Nonnula sclateri
Brown nunlet, Nonnula brunnea
Genus Malacoptila
White-chested puffbird, Malacoptila fusca
Semicollared puffbird, Malacoptila semicincta
Crescent-chested puffbird, Malacoptila striata
Black-streaked puffbird, Malacoptila fulvogularis
Rufous-necked puffbird, Malacoptila rufa
White-whiskered puffbird, Malacoptila panamensis
Moustached puffbird, Malacoptila mystacalis
Genus Bucco
Collared puffbird, Bucco capensis
Genus Nystalus
Spot-backed puffbird, Nystalus maculatus
Barred puffbird, Nystalus radiatus
Striolated puffbird, Nystalus striolatus
White-eared puffbird, Nystalus chacuru
Genus Chelidoptera
Swallow-winged puffbird, Chelidoptera tenebrosa
Genus Monasa
White-fronted nunbird, Monasa morphoeus
Yellow-billed nunbird, Monasa flavirostris
Black-fronted nunbird, Monasa nigrifrons
Black nunbird, Monasa atra
Genus Hapaloptila
White-faced nunbird, Hapaloptila castanea
Genus Micromonacha
Lanceolated monklet, Micromonacha lanceolata
Genus Cyphos
Chestnut-capped puffbird, Cyphos macrodactylus
Genus Hypnelus
Russet-throated puffbird, Hypnelus ruficollis
Genus Nystactes
Spotted puffbird, Nystactes tamatia
Sooty-capped puffbird, Nystactes noanamae
Genus Notharchus
Brown-banded puffbird, Notharchus ordii
Pied puffbird, Notharchus tectus
Black-breasted puffbird, Notharchus pectoralis
White-necked puffbird, Notharchus hyperrynchus
Guianan puffbird, Notharchus macrorhynchos
Buff-bellied puffbird, Notharchus swainsoni
Family Galbulidae
Genus: JacamaralcyonThree-toed jacamar, Jacamaralcyon tridactyla
Genus Brachygalba
Dusky-backed jacamar, Brachygalba salmoni
Pale-headed jacamar, Brachygalba goeringi
Brown jacamar, Brachygalba lugubris
White-throated jacamar, Brachygalba albogularis
Genus Jacamerops
Great jacamar, Jacamerops aureus
Genus Galbalcyrhynchus
White-eared jacamar, Galbalcyrhynchus leucotis
Purus jacamar, Galbalcyrhynchus purusianus
Genus Galbula
Yellow-billed jacamar, Galbula albirostris
Blue-necked jacamar, Galbula cyanicollis
Rufous-tailed jacamar, Galbula ruficauda
Coppery-chested jacamar, Galbula pastazae
Green-tailed jacamar, Galbula galbula
White-chinned jacamar, Galbula tombacea
Bluish-fronted jacamar, Galbula cyanescens
Purplish jacamar, Galbula chalcothorax
Bronzy jacamar, Galbula leucogastra
Paradise jacamar, Galbula dea
References
External links
Tree of Life Piciformes | wikipedia |
How does electricity flow?
The terminals of the batteries set up an electric field in the wire. Surface charges build up to ensure the field is perpendicular to the wire. This allows the electrons to move through the wire.
But moving charges generate magnetic fields. So wouldn't the magnetic fields generated disrupt the flow of electrons causing charge buildup that disrupts the electric field which causes a change in the magnetic field which then causes a change in the electric field and so on?
I guess what I'm asking is why doesn't the magnetic field generated by moving charges disrupt the flow of electrons which would otherwise flow perfectly because of the surface charge buildup?
I am *not* talking about the Hall effect. I'm asking about the magnetic field generated by the moving charges themselves not an external magnetic field.
You are right in that a magnetic field is build up, which generates a electric field opposing the given potential. But the consequence is not an oscillation of current, but only a damping of the increase of the current. Therefore, if you have a Heaviside step function for the voltage, it'll result in an "exponential" increase of your current ($I(t) = I\_0 \cdot(1-e^{\theta t})$). In general $\theta$ is big enough so that a $I\_0$ is reached very fast, so no one takes notice, but if you look on an oscilloscope you'll see
This is an interesting question. Let us consider a current carrying wire and see what's going on inside it.
Consider two streams of electrons as shown above. They move with a drift velocity $\vec{v\_d}$. $These$ $streams$ $can$ $be$ $thought$ $of$ $two$ $current$ $carrying$ $wires$ $each$ $with$ $the$ $thickness$ $of$ $an$ $electron$. Each carries $equal$ amount of current. Now, let us see how these affect each other.
Look at the diagram below,
Consider the stream at the top. We shall call it stream A. This stream creates a magnetic field $\vec{B}$ which affects the stream below( say stream B ). Remember, stream B also creates a magnetic field and I have not shown that in the diagram to avoid confusion. Don't worry, I'll get there soon. The dots in the diagram tell us that the magnetic field due to stream A is directed $out$ of the screen( I have used R.H.R to determine the direction of $\vec{B}$ ).
Once again using R.H.R to determine the direction of force on stream B we get,
Stream B feels a force $\vec{F}$ directed towards stream A.
Now, let us see how stream B affects stream A.
Stream B creates a magnetic field which goes into the screen. As a result, stream A experiences a force directed towards stream A as shown
Once again, I have used R.H.R to determine the force on stream A.
Since the separation is constant, force on stream A due to stream B is equal to the force on stream B due to stream A.
Now, let us analyze the forces
The forces tend to bring the two streams together. What keeps them in position is the Electric force of repulsion $\vec{F\_e}$( the two streams are same in terms of their nature )
So, the net force on each stream is $zero$. Now, the wire can be thought to be made up of billions of such streams and all such streams come in pairs. This explanation holds good for ideal conducting wires that have uniform charge density. In the real world, this is close to perfect.
I have not included the effects produced by the lattice because for a conducting wire with uniform charge density, these effects cancel out one another.
The magnetic field is created by the electrons; thus it would not disrupt the movement of the electrons.
| stackexchange/physics |
the consideration of few - quark systems has become a very exciting topic in few - body physics . on the one hand it represents a big challenge for modern few - body methods to solve few - quark problems , since the corresponding bound and continuum states have to be solved in a consistent relativistic framework .
thus , in order to treat hadron phenomena on a microscopic level the formalism of calculation has to be essentially relativistic . on the other hand
the issues of quark dynamics are very important . in principle
, the microscopic description of hadronic bound states and reactions amounts to solving quantum chromodynamics ( qcd ) at low energies .
evidently , this is not strictly possible nowadays , and one must resort to effective theories and/or models . for any of such approaches , however , it is required to implement the essential properties of low - energy qcd , which are still not known in a satisfactory manner . in working with few - quark problems it is an intriguing task to find out the forces binding the constituents of hadrons and finally governing their behaviours .
evidently it is of eminent interest from many aspects of nuclear and subnuclear physics to be able to describe and to understand the properties ( and reactions ) of hadrons in a microscopic manner on the basis of the fundamental theory of strong ( and also electroweak ) interaction .
a very powerful tool for low- and intermediate - energy hadron physics consists in employing constituent quark models ( cqms ) .
they have already witnessed a long and reasonably successful development . starting out from the naive nonrelativistic quark model of hadrons in the 60 s one
has constantly improved the quark - quark dynamics and one has learned how to apply a relativistic formalism . at present
we have several refined cqms available , which at least prove the approach to be promising .
of course , they advocate various types of dynamics and use different calculational methods , what leads to partly dissimilar results .
however , this just makes up the flavour of present research in this field . by considering more and more hadron processes within the concept of cqms one
will gradually find out which is the most promising variant of the existing models . in hadronic physics one would like to have an effective theory / model of qcd that is able to deal with all phenomena in a certain energy domain ( at low and intermediate energies , say ) .
it is not sufficient to consider just a limited aspect , for instance , only spectroscopy .
this is especially true also for cqms .
therefore , any realistic cqm should be subject to as many tests as possible .
a model that has proven to be successful in describing the hadron spectra ( bound state and resonance energies ) should then be applied to hadronic reactions in order to check its global usability ( notably also the wave function behaviour ) . in this context , we shall here mainly discuss results of the relativistic cqm whose dynamics is based on goldstone - boson exchange ( gbe ) vis - - vis corresponding results from other types of relativistic cqms . in particular , we shall consider the gbe cqm by the graz group @xcite and compare its results to the ones by a typical representative of one - gluon - exchange ( oge ) cqms , namely the relativistic variant of the bhaduri - cohler - nogami ( bcn ) cqm @xcite as parametrized in ref .
@xcite , and by the cqm relying on instanton - induced ( ii ) forces @xcite .
we shall address the aspects of light and strange baryon spectroscopy , nucleon electroweak structure , electric radii and magnetic moments of octet and decuplet baryon ground states , and pionic decays of nucleon and @xmath0 resonances .
the baryon spectra as provided by cqms have been discussed from many viewpoints , especially also because of the big interest from the experimental side .
while the description was rather qualitative in the early stages of cqms , it is clear that considerable improvements have been achieved in the past years .
finally one has met the demand of describing all the light- and strange baryon spectra within one and the same framework . due to the very nature of these spectra
it is immediately evident that one needs flavor - dependent forces . as a result , the oge cqm being flavor - independent encounters difficulties in describing simultaneously the @xmath1 and @xmath2 spectra , in addition to the notorious shortcomings in the level orderings of positive- and negative - parity states in the @xmath1 ( and tentatively @xmath0 ) spectrum .
the reasons have already been discussed in much detail in the literature ( see , e.g. , ref .
@xcite ) . here
we only recall the typical behaviour through a comparison of the oge , ii , and gbe cqms for the @xmath1 and @xmath2 spectra in figs . 1 and 2 ( the complete spectra can be found in the original refs .
@xcite , @xcite , and @xcite , respectively ) .
this comparison actually shows the ( most striking ) current problems still prevailing in the various types of cqms .
notably , all of them encounter severe shortcomings in the @xmath2 spectrum , especially with regard to the @xmath2(1405 ) , the first excitation above the ground state .
furthermore the oge and the ii cqms are left with the wrong level orderings of the first positive- and negative - parity excitations above the nucleon ground state .
only the gbe cqm can reproduce both the @xmath3(1440 ) @xmath4 and the @xmath3(1535 ) @xmath5 states in the right places , in accordance with experiment . except for the open problem with @xmath2(1405 ) , it thus represents the only cqm that is able to describe in a unified framework all light and strange baryon spectra in reasonable agreement with experiment . with regard to the problem of the correct level ordering of positive- and negative - parity states the following remark is in order .
it has repeatedly been claimed above all by valcarce et al . that a proper description , especially of the @xmath1 and @xmath0 spectra , can also be obtained within a hybrid ( i.e. one - gluon exchange plus meson exchange ) cqm keeping a predominant contribution from the oge interaction . in the first paper of the salamanca - valencia group @xcite , where such a claim was originally made , they used a variant of their cqm with a value @xmath6 of the effective quark - gluon coupling and a cut - off parameter @xmath7 fm in the oge part of the hyperfine interaction . due to a nonconverged variational calculation of the nucleon spectrum they obtained a wrong level structure , with the positive - parity @xmath8 resonance
practically degenerate with the negative - parity @xmath9 state . upon recalculating this model in a converged variational calculation and also in a rigorous faddeev approach ,
the graz group established the right @xmath1 and @xmath0 spectra and found them in disagreement with the original paper @xcite and thus also at variance with phenomenology @xcite .
the problem was reiterated in ref .
@xcite , where also some technical details about treating the @xmath10-function smearing of the color - magnetic interaction in three - quark calculations were elucidated .
still , in ref .
@xcite a similar claim as before was made by the salamanca - valencia group , then with a different parametrization of their cqm , namely with the parameters @xmath11 and @xmath12 fm in the oge part . as it turned out in another recalculation by the graz group , the results reported in ref .
@xcite were again not converged .
similar errors were repeated in a subsequent paper by garcilazo et al .
@xcite . there , some further modified versions of the salamanca - valencia cqm were considered reporting results for the @xmath1 and @xmath0 spectra calculated in the framework of faddeev equations .
one claimed a reasonable reproduction of the ground - state and resonance levels , in particular of the roper @xmath8 state , while maintaining a considerable contribution from the oge part in the @xmath13-@xmath13 hyperfine interaction . upon checking these results
the graz group found another time that they were not satisfactorily accurate .
this was established by applying on the one hand the stochastic variational method ( svm ) @xcite and on the other hand a modified type of faddeev approach as in ref .
@xcite ; the latter was especially designed to treat infinitely rising confining potentials along with faddeev equations and leads to improved convergence .
only in another subsequent paper @xcite garcilazo et al . produced practically correct @xmath1 and @xmath0 spectra by including into their faddeev calculation enough angular momentum states .
as is clearly seen from the figures given in that work , a proper ordering of the positive- and negative - parity levels is not achieved with neither one of the different versions of the salamanca - valencia hybrid cqm . on the contrary
, the negative - parity @xmath9 falls clearly below the positive - parity @xmath8 roper resonance , leaving the @xmath1 spectrum ( and in addition also the @xmath0 spectrum ) at variance with experiment .
now , there has also been a contribution to this conference by a. valcarce .
therein it is stated again that ` a quite reasonable description of the baryon spectrum ' is obtained with the salamanca - valencia cqm . by inspecting fig .
5 of this contribution @xcite ( which shows basically correct results but due to missing higher states rather incomplete excitation spectra ) one can not find this claim confirmed by any means .
the negative - parity @xmath5 resonances in both the @xmath1 and @xmath0 spectra lie far below the experimental values and notably also below the respective first positive - parity excitations above the ground states .
in addition , the spectrum shown in fig . 5 of ref .
@xcite does not belong to the parameter set quoted in table 1 of the same paper .
rather it belongs to the parameter set given in table 3 of ref .
@xcite , which produces even inferior spectra with regard to the relative positions of positive- and negative - parity excitations ( cf . figs . 1 and 2 in ref .
@xcite ) ; in addition the first @xmath14 and @xmath15 @xmath3 states ( not shown neither in ref .
@xcite nor by valcarce in the contribution to this conference ) both lie more than 100 mev below the experimental levels !
thus the argumentation in valcarce s contribution is badly misleading in connection with the performance of the salamanca - valencia cqm in baryon spectroscopy .
the truth is that correct @xmath1 and @xmath0 spectra have so far not been achieved in neither one of the presented parametrizations of this particular cqm . in principle , within a pure oge cqm or a hybrid model that relies on a predominant contribution from oge in the hyperfine interaction it is not possible to describe specifically the first positive- and negative - parity excitations in the @xmath1 and @xmath0 spectra , the @xmath1-@xmath0 splitting , and the @xmath2 spectrum correctly at the same time .
this fact can be readily derived from the spin - isospin symmetry of the color - magnetic interaction @xcite .
obviously a correct quantitative description of all light and strange baryon spectra in a unified relativistic framework is of importance for applications of the cqm wave functions in dynamical processes involving ground states and resonances .
certain constraints are , of course , imposed by the spectra on the spin - flavor symmetry of the @xmath13-@xmath13 interaction , and the various cqms may not yet be complete in these respects . however , one must also bear in mind that the description of resonances in terms of \{@xmath16 } bound states ( without explicit couplings to decay channels ) might be totally inadequate ( see sec . 4 below ) .
the particular relativistic cqms considered in the previous section have already been tested for nucleon form factors and , partly , also for electric radii and magnetic moments of the light and strange baryon ground states @xcite . for the cases of the oge and gbe cqms
one obtained manifestly covariant results along the point - form spectator approximation ( pfsa ) whereas the predictions of the ii cqm were obtained also with one - body currents but in a bethe - salpeter approach @xcite . in fig .
3 we present a comparison of the results for the elastic proton and neutron electroweak form factors .
the electric radii and magnetic moments of the nucleons , and likewise of all other measured octet and decuplet ground states , are quoted in tables 1 and 2 .
[ tab1 ] .predictions for electric radii of the proton , neutron , and the @xmath17 baryon as obtained in pfsa from the gbe cqm @xcite in comparison to the case with the confinement potential only and results from the bcn oge cqm @xcite . [ cols="^,^,^,^,^ " , ] following the studies of nucleon form factors addressed in the previous section , the graz group has recently performed calculations of ( pionic ) decay widths of @xmath1 and @xmath0 resonances with cqms in relativistic point - form quantum mechanics .
a first report thereof was given in ref .
@xcite . in table 3
we provide a comparison of some results for pionic decay widths of @xmath1 and @xmath0 resonances from the gbe and bcn oge cqms .
so far one has only employed a decay operator according to a relativistic generalization of the elementary emission model ( eem ) , i.e. a one - body operator .
relativistic boost effects , however , have been included exactly in the calculation of matrix elements . by comparison to a standard nonrelativistic calculation one
has again found that relativistic effects are of considerable importance , with their magnitudes exceeding by far the influences of dynamical ingredients in the wave functions . still , at this instance
, one has not yet arrived at a satisfactory explanation of the decay widths in accordance with existing experimental data . here ,
the problems appear much more intricate than anticipated . due to the involvement of resonance wave functions in evaluating the transition matrix elements one might tentatively need a more elaborate description of the resonance states with finite rather than zero widths .
this means that one should include the couplings to the decay channels in the resonance wave functions . in a microscopic approach ,
ideally , one should provide additional configurations beyond three - quark states explicitly or at least take care of their roles in an effective description .
similarly one must consider further refinements in the decay operator and/or alternative mechanisms for the meson emission .
from the evidences highlighted above , a number of important conclusions can be drawn on the performance and adequacy of cqms ( as effective models of qcd for low - energy hadronic physics ) .
these insights will be important for the future development of the cqm approach and , more generally , for the physics of low- and intermediate - energy hadron phenomena .
regarding spectroscopy a further improvement of cqms is most desirable .
certainly , with the gbe cqm ( and to a lesser quality also with the ii cqm ) a description of all light and strange baryons is at hand within a single model .
it would be satisfying to extend the existing models in order to reach an even more comprehensive unified framework for the treatment of baryons ( including also the heavy flavors ) and mesons . from the applications considered here , one might be content with the behaviour of ground states ( as \{@xmath16 } bound states ) but the treatment of resonances must certainly be made more realistic . in this respect
it is also not clear how far the concept of cqms can be pushed up in excitation energy , even under the inclusion of further , say mesonic , degrees of freedom .
the assumption of the constituent quark itself , as a quasiparticle of low - energy qcd , could soon break down in higher excitations of hadrons , namely , when chiral symmetry gets restored . from dealing with hadron reactions in cqms ( in our case lepton scattering on nucleons and strong decays of baryon resonances )
it has become fairly evident that a relativistic formulation has to be employed . in this light
, any nonrelativistic treatment must be considered as inadequate from the very beginning .
still , it appears viable to work with a finite number of degrees of freedom instead of a genuine field - theoretic framework .
this paves the way for approaches following poincar - invariant quantum mechanics .
while being well founded axiomatically , it seems they also provide a proper tool for fulfilling lorentz covariance and allow at the same time the application of refined few - body techniques to solve a variety of few - quark problems without having to resort to drastic approximations . over the past decades few - body physics
has been especially successful in accurate descriptions of nuclear phenomena . for that purpose a nonrelativistic quantum theory was mostly sufficient . in subnuclear physics , when dealing with a microscopic description of hadrons as few - quark systems , this is no longer the case , and we have to employ relativistic approaches .
their solution usually requires much more technical efforts , and it represents a challenge to apply them for all kind of hadron phenomena .
we may well be confident that the corresponding studies will reward us with new exciting flavours in the traditional field of few - body physics .
i want to express my sincere gratitude to teresa pea and her team for organizing the 2002 lisbon workshop and for dedicating it to peter sauer .
indeed , it is justified to acknowledge peter s contributions to few - body physics over the years by a topical workshop .
i have been knowing him since the early 70 s and i have always appreciated him as a critical colleague and an enthusiastic as well as helpful collaborator .
the scientific links between hanover and graz have produced a number of essential results and also several friendly personal relationships .
i feel uncomfortable when thinking about a future where all this could be lost due to the retirement of peter and a possible disruption of the hanover few - body - physics group .
the results discussed in this work have mostly originated from combined efforts of the few - body physics group in graz , partly in collaboration with the pavia group ( sigfrido boffi and marco radici ) and with bill klink from the university of iowa .
it is a pleasure to acknowledge this fruitful collaboration and here above all the individual contributions by robert wagenbrunn , katharina berger , and thomas melde .
this work was supported by the austrian science fund , project no .
p14806-tph .
wagenbrunn , r.f . ,
boffi , s. , klink , w. , plessas , w. , and radici , m. : phys .
b511 * , 33 ( 2001 ) ; glozman , l.ya . ,
radici , m. , wagenbrunn , r.f . ,
boffi , s. , klink , w. , and plessas , w. : ibid . *
b516 * , 183 ( 2001 ) ; boffi , s. , glozman , l.ya . ,
klink , w. , plessas , w. , radici , m. , and wagenbrunn , r.f .
j. * a14 * , 17 ( 2002 ) . | arxiv |
the main asteroid belt , the trans - neptunian belt , and the oort cloud are considered to be the main sources of the objects that could collide with the earth .
reviews of the asteroid and comet hazard were given by ipatov ( 2000 , 2001 ) , and bottke et al .
many scientists , e.g. bottke et al .
( 2002 ) , binzel et al .
( 2002 ) , and weissman et al .
( 2002 ) , believe that asteroids are the main source of near - earth objects ( neos , i.e. objects with perihelion distance @[email protected] au ) .
bottke et al .
( 2002 ) considered that there are 200@xmath2140 km - sized jupiter - family comets at @[email protected] au , with @xmath380% of them being extinct comets .
duncan et al . (
1995 ) and kuchner ( 2002 ) investigated the migration of trans - neptunian objects ( tnos ) to neptune s orbit , and levison and duncan ( 1997 ) studied the migration from neptune s orbit to jupiter s orbit .
ipatov and hahn ( 1999 ) considered the migration of jupiter - crossing objects ( jcos ) with initial orbits close to the orbit of comet p/1996 r2 and found that on average such objects spend about 5000 yr in orbits which cross both the orbits of jupiter and earth . using these results and additional orbit integrations , and assuming that there are
@xmath4 1-km tnos with 30@xmath1@xmath5@xmath150 au ( jewitt and fernandez , 2001 ) , ipatov ( 2000 , 2001 ) found that about @xmath6 1-km former tnos are
jupiter - crossers now and 10 - 20% or more 1-km earth - crossers could have come from the edgeworth - kuiper belt into jupiter - crossing orbits . in the present paper
we use the estimates by ipatov ( 2001 ) , but now include a much larger number of jcos .
preliminary results were presented by ipatov ( 2002 , 2003 ) , who also discussed the formation of tnos and asteroids .
as the actual collisions of migrating objects with terrestrial planets are rare , we use an approximation of random phases and orientations to estimate probabilities of collision for families of objects with similar orbital elements .
we suppose that their semi - major axes @xmath5 , eccentricities @xmath7 and inclinations @xmath8 are fixed , but the orientations of the orbits can vary . when the orbit of a minor body crosses the orbit of a planet at a distance @xmath9 from the sun , the characteristic time to collide , @xmath10 , is a factor of @xmath11 times that computed with an approximation of constant velocity , where @xmath12 is the velocity at the point where the orbit of the body crosses the orbit of the planet , and @xmath13 is the velocity for the same semi - major axis and a circular orbit .
this coefficient @xmath14 modifies the formulas obtained by ipatov ( 1988a , 2000 ) for characteristic collision and close encounter times of two objects moving around the sun in crossing orbits .
these formulas depend also on the synodic period and improve on pik s formulas when the semi - major axes of the objects are close to each other . as an example , at @xmath7=0.7 and @xmath5=3.06 au , we have @xmath14=2.26 .
based on these formulas , we calculated probabilities ( 1/@xmath10 ) for @xmath31300 neos , including 343 venus - crossers , 756 earth - crossers and 1197 mars - crossers .
the values of @xmath10 ( in myr ) , @xmath14 , and the number @xmath15 of objects considered are presented in table 1 .
we considered separately the atens , apollos , amors , and several jupiter - family comets ( jfcs ) .
the relatively small values of @xmath10 for atens and for all neos colliding with the earth are due to several atens with small inclinations discovered during the last three years .
if we increase the inclination of the aten object 2000 sg344 from @xmath8=@xmath16 to @xmath8=@xmath17 , then for collisions with the earth we find @xmath10=28 myr and @xmath14=0.84 for atens and @xmath10=97 myr and @xmath14=1.09 for neos .
these times are much longer , and illustrate the importance of rare objects . due to observational biases actual values of @xmath10 can be greater than those in table 1 .
as the next step in estimating probabilities , we calculated the orbital evolution for thousands of test particles with initial orbits similar to known comets and asteroids , but having slightly different initial conditions .
the results confirm that most of the collision probability comes from a handful of very rare cases in which the test particle is earth - crossing for an extended period of time . for initial investigations of the migration of bodies under the gravitational influence of the planets
, we used the integration package of levison and duncan ( 1994 ) . in most cases we omitted the influence of mercury and pluto . here and in tables 2 - 3 and figs . 1 , 2 and 4 we present the results obtained by the bulirsh - stoer method ( bulsto code ) with the integration step error less than @xmath28@xmath29[@xmath30-@xmath31 , and in the next section we compare them with those of bulsto at @xmath28@xmath32@xmath33 and a symplectic method .
@xmath34v@xmath22v@xmath22v@xmath22e@xmath22e@xmath22e@xmath22m@xmath22m@xmath22m@xmath35\\ \hline n1&1900 & & & & 2.42 & 4.23 & 1.75 & 4.51 & 7.94 & 1.76 & 6.15 & 30.0 & 4.88 & 0.7 & 119 & 20 \\%[43/7]\\ $ ] 2p@xmath369p@xmath37\\ $ ] 10p@xmath38\\ $ ] 22p@xmath39\\ $ ] 28p@xmath40\\ $ ] 39p@xmath41\\ \sigma & 7349 & & & & 9.52 & 16.2&1.70 & 12.6 & 27.9&2.21 & 4.89 & 62.4&12.8 & 1.4 & 112&41 \\ \sigma & 7850 & & & & 17.9 & 37.7&2.11 & 18.8 & 51.5&2.74 & 5.29 & 85.9&16.2 & 2.6 & 116&54 \\ \sigma & 7852 & & & & 130 .
& 72.6 & 0.56 & 84.5 & 95.7 & 1.13 & 13.5 & 132&9.81 & 3.8 & 116&101 \\ $ ] r2@xmath42 in the first series of runs ( denoted as @xmath43 ) we calculated the evolution of 1900 jcos moving in initial orbits close to those of 20 real jcos with period @xmath44@xmath1@xmath45@xmath19 yr .
in other series of runs , initial orbits were close to those of a single comet ( 2p , 9p , 10p , 22p , 28p , or 39p ) .
for the 2p runs , we included mercury in the integrations .
we also investigated the orbital evolution of asteroids initially moving in the 3:1 and 5:2 resonances with jupiter .
for the jcos we varied only the initial mean anomaly @xmath46 .
the number of objects in one run usually was @xmath32250 .
in most jco cases the time @xmath47 when perihelion was passed was varied with a step @xmath48@xmath321 day ( i.e. , @xmath46 was varied with a step @xmath1@xmath49 ) . near the @xmath47
estimated from observations , we used smaller steps . in
most jco cases the range of initial values of @xmath47 was less than several tens of days . for asteroids , we varied initial values of @xmath46 and the longitude of the ascending node from 0 to 360@xmath50 .
the approximate values of initial orbital elements are presented in table 2 .
we initially integrated the orbits for @xmath51@xmath5210 myr .
after 10 myr we tested whether some of remaining objects could reach inside jupiter s orbit ; if so , the calculations were usually continued .
therefore the results for orbits crossing or inside jupiter s orbit were the same as if the integrations had been carried to lifetimes of objects .
for comet 2p and resonant asteroids , we integrated until all objects were ejected into hyperbolic orbits or collided with the sun . in some previous publications
we have used smaller @xmath51 , so these new data are more accurate . in our runs , planets were considered as material points so literal collisions did not occur . however , using the formulas of the previous section , and the orbital elements sampled with a 500 yr step , we calculated the mean probability @xmath53 of collisions .
we define @xmath53 as @xmath54 , where @xmath55 is the probability for all @xmath56 objects of a collision of an object with a planet during its lifetime , the mean time @xmath57=@xmath58 during which perihelion distance @xmath0 of an object was less than the semi - major axis @xmath59 of the planet , and the mean time @xmath60 during which an object moved in jupiter - crossing orbits .
the values of @xmath61=@xmath62 , @xmath60 and @xmath57 are shown in table 2 . here
@xmath63 is the ratio of the total time interval when orbits are of apollo type ( @xmath5@xmath641 au , @xmath0=@xmath65@xmath1@xmath66 au ) at @[email protected] to that of amor type ( @xmath66@xmath1@[email protected] au ) and @xmath67=@xmath68 ( in gyr ) . in almost all runs
@xmath57 was equal to the mean time in orbits which cross the orbit of the planet and 1/@xmath67 was a probability of a collision per year ( similar to 1/@xmath10 ) .
the results showed that most of the probability of collisions of considered former jcos with the terrestrial planets is due to a few objects each of which orbited for several myr with aphelion @[email protected] au .
some had typical asteroidal and neo orbits and reached @xmath69@xmath13 au for several myr .
large values of @xmath53 for mars in the @xmath43 runs were caused by a single object with a lifetime of 26 myr .
total times spent by @xmath56 jcos and asteroids during their lifetimes in orbits typical for inner - earth objects ( ieos , @[email protected] au , michel et al . , 2000 ) , aten ( @xmath5@xmath11 au and @[email protected] au ) , al2 ( @[email protected] au and 1@xmath1@xmath5@xmath12 au ) , apollo , and amor objects are presented in table 3 .
these times for earth - crossing objects were mainly due to a few tens of objects with high collision probabilities . of the jcos with initial orbits close to those of 10p and 2p , six and nine
respectively moved into apollo orbits with @xmath5@xmath12 au ( al2 orbits ) for at least 0.5 myr each , and five of them remained in such orbits for more than 5 myr each .
the contribution of all the other objects to al2 orbits was smaller . only one and two jcos reached ieo and aten orbits , respectively .
@xmath70ieos@xmath71aten@xmath72al2@xmath71apollo@xmath22amor@xmath73 au@xmath74jcos@xmath75 @xmath76 & 86 $ ] @xmath77 & 411 $ ] @xmath78 & 659 & 171 & 7100 \\ $ ] jcos without 2p@xmath79 @xmath80 & 3.45 $ ] @xmath80 & 23 $ ] @xmath81 & 207 & 145 & 7000 \\ 3:1 $ ] resonance@xmath82 @xmath77 & 4.5 $ ] @xmath83 & 433 $ ] @xmath84 $ ] @xmath85 @xmath86 @xmath87 @xmath88 resonance@xmath89 @xmath90 & 113 $ ]
@xmath91 @xmath92 @xmath93 one former jco ( fig .
1a ) , which had an initial orbit close to that of 10p , moved in aten orbits for 3.45 myr , and the probability of its collision with the earth from such orbits was 0.344 ( so @xmath67=10 myr was even smaller than the values of @xmath10 presented in table 1 ; i.e. , this object had smaller @xmath7 and @xmath8 than typical observed atens ) , greater than that for the 7850 other simulated former jcos during their lifetimes ( 0.15 ) .
it also moved for about 10 myr in ieo orbits before its collision with venus , and during this time the probability @xmath94=0.655 of its collision with venus was greater ( @xmath94@xmath953 for the time interval presented in fig .
1a ) than that for the 7850 jcos during their lifetimes ( 0.14 ) . at @xmath96=0.12
myr orbital elements of this object jumped considerably and the tisserand parameter increased from @xmath97@xmath13 to @xmath97@xmath646 , and @xmath97@xmath6410 during most of its lifetime .
another object ( fig .
1b ) moved in highly eccentric aten orbits for 83 myr , and its lifetime before collision with the sun was 352 myr .
its probability of collisions with earth , venus and mars during its lifetime was 0.172 , 0.224 , and 0.065 , respectively .
these two objects were not included in table 2 except for the entry for @xmath56=7852 .
the data for comet p/1996 r2 ( line r2 ) were not included in the sums .
ipatov ( 1995 ) obtained the migration of jcos into ieo and aten orbits using the approximate method of spheres of action for taking into account the gravitational interactions of bodies with planets .
the mean time @xmath98 during which a jco was moving in earth - crossing orbits is @xmath99 yr for the 7852 simulated jcos , and @xmath100 yr for the @xmath43 case .
the ratio @xmath101 of the number of objects colliding with the sun to the total number of escaped ( collided or ejected ) objects was less than 0.015 for the considered runs ( except for 2p ) .
some former jcos spent a long time in the 3:1 resonance with jupiter and with 2@xmath1@[email protected] au .
other objects reached mars - crossing orbits for long times .
we conclude that jcos can supply bodies to the regions which are considered by many scientists ( bottke et al . , 2002 ) to belong to the main sources of neos . , @xmath7 , @xmath0 , @xmath69 , and @xmath8 for a former jco in initial orbit close to that of comet 10p ( a ) , 2p ( b ) .
for ( a ) at @xmath96@xmath1@xmath102 myr @xmath69@xmath64@[email protected] au .
results from bulsto code at @xmath103 . , title="fig:",width=226 ] , @xmath7 , @xmath0 , @xmath69 , and @xmath8 for a former jco in initial orbit close to that of comet 10p ( a ) , 2p ( b ) . for
( a ) at @xmath96@xmath1@xmath102 myr @xmath69@xmath64@[email protected] au .
results from bulsto code at @xmath103 . ,
title="fig:",width=226 ] , @xmath7 , @xmath0 , @xmath69 , and @xmath8 for a former jco in initial orbit close to that of comet 10p ( a ) , 2p ( b ) . for ( a ) at @xmath96@xmath1@xmath102 myr @xmath69@xmath64@[email protected] au .
results from bulsto code at @xmath103 .
, title="fig:",width=226 ] , @xmath7 , @xmath0 , @xmath69 , and @xmath8 for a former jco in initial orbit close to that of comet 10p ( a ) , 2p ( b ) . for ( a ) at @xmath96@xmath1@xmath102 myr @xmath69@xmath64@[email protected] au .
results from bulsto code at @xmath103 .
, title="fig:",width=226 ] , @xmath7 , @xmath0 , @xmath69 , and @xmath8 for a former jco in initial orbit close to that of comet 10p ( a ) , 2p ( b ) . for ( a ) at @xmath96@xmath1@xmath102 myr @xmath69@xmath64@[email protected] au .
results from bulsto code at @xmath103 . ,
title="fig:",width=226 ] , @xmath7 , @xmath0 , @xmath69 , and @xmath8 for a former jco in initial orbit close to that of comet 10p ( a ) , 2p ( b ) . for ( a ) at @xmath96@xmath1@xmath102 myr @xmath69@xmath64@[email protected] au .
results from bulsto code at @xmath103 .
, title="fig:",width=226 ] in fig .
2 we present the time in myr during which objects had semi - major axes in the interval with a width of 0.005 au ( figs .
2a - b ) or 0.1 au ( figs .
2c - d ) . at 3.3 au ( the 2:1 resonance with jupiter )
there is a gap for asteroids that migrated from the 5:2 resonance and for former jcos ( except 2p ) .
.,title="fig:",width=343 ] .,title="fig:",width=343 ] .,title="fig:",width=343 ] .,title="fig:",width=343 ] , @xmath7 , @xmath0 , @xmath69 , and @xmath8 for a former jco in initial orbit close to that of comet 2p .
results from a symplectic method at @xmath104=10 days.,title="fig:",width=226 ] , @xmath7 , @xmath0 , @xmath69 , and @xmath8 for a former jco in initial orbit close to that of comet 2p .
results from a symplectic method at @xmath104=10 days.,title="fig:",width=226 ] , @xmath7 , @xmath0 , @xmath69 , and @xmath8 for a former jco in initial orbit close to that of comet 2p .
results from a symplectic method at @xmath104=10 days.,title="fig:",width=226 ] . for ( e - f , h )
it was considered that an object disappeared when perihelion distance became less than 2 radii of the sun . in other cases , objects disappered when they collided with the sun .
, title="fig:",width=343 ] . for ( e - f , h )
it was considered that an object disappeared when perihelion distance became less than 2 radii of the sun . in other cases , objects disappered when they collided with the sun .
, title="fig:",width=343 ] . for ( e - f , h )
it was considered that an object disappeared when perihelion distance became less than 2 radii of the sun .
in other cases , objects disappered when they collided with the sun . , title="fig:",width=343 ] . for ( e - f , h )
it was considered that an object disappeared when perihelion distance became less than 2 radii of the sun . in other cases , objects disappered when they collided with the sun .
, title="fig:",width=343 ] . for ( e - f ,
h ) it was considered that an object disappeared when perihelion distance became less than 2 radii of the sun . in other cases , objects disappered when they collided with the sun .
, title="fig:",width=343 ] . for ( e - f , h )
it was considered that an object disappeared when perihelion distance became less than 2 radii of the sun . in other cases , objects disappered when they collided with the sun .
, title="fig:",width=343 ] . for ( e - f , h )
it was considered that an object disappeared when perihelion distance became less than 2 radii of the sun . in other cases , objects disappered when they collided with the sun .
, title="fig:",width=343 ] . for ( e - f , h )
it was considered that an object disappeared when perihelion distance became less than 2 radii of the sun . in other cases , objects disappered when they collided with the sun . , title="fig:",width=343 ] for the @xmath43 data set , @xmath60=0.12 myr and , while moving in jupiter - crossing orbits , objects had orbital periods @xmath45@xmath1@xmath105 , 10@xmath1@xmath45@xmath120 , 20@xmath1@xmath45@xmath150 , 50@xmath1@xmath45@xmath1200 yr for 11% , 21% , 21% , and 17% of @xmath60 , respectively . therefore , there are three times as many jcos as jupiter - family comets ( for which @xmath45@xmath120 yr )
. we also found that some jcos , after residing in orbits with aphelia deep inside jupiter s orbit , transfer for tens of myr to the trans - neptunian region , either in low or high eccentricity orbits .
we conclude that some of the main belt asteroids may reach typical tno orbits , and then become scattered - disk objects having high eccentricities , and vice versa .
the fraction of objects from the 5:2 resonance that collided with the earth was only 1/6 of that for the 3:1 resonance .
only a small fraction of the asteroids from the 5:2 resonance reached @xmath5@xmath12 au . the distributions of migrating former jcos and resonant asteroids in @xmath5 and @xmath7 and in @xmath5 and @xmath8 are presented in fig .
4 . for each picture
we considered 250 migrating objects ( 288 for fig .
4g - h ) , 100 intervals for @xmath5 , and about 5090 intervals for @xmath7 and @xmath8 .
different designations correspond to different number @xmath106 of orbital elements ( calculated with a step of 500 yr ) which get in one bin ( in fig .
4 @xmath107@xmath1=@xmath107 means @xmath32 ) .
all considered former jcos very rarely reached low eccentricity orbits with 2@xmath1@[email protected] au and 11@xmath1@xmath5@xmath128 au .
there were many positions of objects when their perihelia were close to a semi - major axis of a giant planet , mainly of jupiter .
the pictures are different for different runs .
to determine the effect of the choice of orbit integrators and convergence criteria , we made additional runs with bulsto at @xmath28=10@xmath108 and @xmath28=10@xmath109 and with a symplectic integrator .
the orbital evolution of 5400 jcos was computed with the rmvs3 code . for the symplectic method we used an integration step @xmath104 of 3 , 10 , and 30 days .
we find that for the purposes of this paper , the differences between integrator choices ( at @xmath104@xmath3210 days ) are comparable to the differences between runs with slightly different initial conditions .
our interpretation is that 1 ) very small numbers of particles contribute most of the collision probabilities with the terrestrial planets , 2 ) runs with larger numbers of particles are more reliable , and 3 ) small differences in initial conditions or in the errors of the orbit integrators modify the trajectories substantially . to illustrate these points , tables 4 - 5 present the results obtained by bulsto at @xmath28@xmath32@xmath33 and the symplectic method at @xmath104@xmath3210 days .
most of the results obtained with these values of @xmath28 and @xmath104 are statistically similar to those obtained for @xmath110@xmath32@xmath111@xmath32@xmath112 . for example , a few objects spent millions of years in earth - crossing orbits inside jupiter s orbit ( figs . 1 and 3 ) , and their probabilities of collisions with the earth were thousands of times greater than for more typical objects . for series
@xmath43 with rmvs3 , the probability of a collision with earth for one object with initial orbit close to that of comet 44p was 88.3% of the total probability for 1200 objects from this series , and the total probability for 1198 objects was only 4% .
this object and the object presented in fig . 3 and in the first line of table 4
were not included in table 5 with @xmath56=1199 for @xmath43 and with @xmath56=250 for 2p , respectively . for the resonance 3:1 at @xmath104=10 days
, 142 objects spent 140 and 84.5 myr in ieo and aten orbits , respectively , even longer than for @xmath28@xmath3@xmath30-@xmath113 .
additionally , up to 40 myr and 20 myr were spent in such orbits by two other objects which had estimated probabilities of collisions with the terrestrial planets greater than 1 for the calculated sets of orbital elements . for
the 2p runs at @xmath28@xmath32@xmath33 and @xmath56=100 , the calculated objects spent 5.4 myr in apollo orbits with @xmath5@xmath12 au .
@xmath114 or @xmath115ieos@xmath71aten@xmath72al2@xmath71apollo@xmath22amor@xmath1162p@xmath1172p@xmath11844p@xmath119resonance @xmath120 the values of @xmath61 presented in table 5 are usually of the same order of magnitude as those in table 2 , and the difference between the data presented in these tables is comparable to the differences between different runs belonging to a series . for earth and venus ,
the values of @xmath61 presented in both tables are about 14 for 9p , 22p , 28p and 39p . for 28p and 39p with the symplectic method
@xmath61 is about twice that for bulsto . for 10p , @xmath61 is several times larger than for the above series , and for 2p it is several times larger than for 10p . for the @xmath43 run ,
@xmath61@xmath644 for earth .
the ratio of @xmath61 to the mass of the planet was typically several times larger for mars than for earth and venus .
the main difference in @xmath61 was found for the 3:1 resonance . in this case
greater values of @xmath61 were obtained for @xmath104=10 days .
as noted above , a few exceptional objects dominated the probabilities , and for the 3:1 resonance two objects , which had collision probabilities for calculated sets of orbital elements greater than unity for the terrestrial planets , were not included in table 5 .
these two objects can increase the total value of @xmath61 for earth by a factor of several .
in tables 2 and 5 we present the mean time @xmath121 ( in kyr ) spent in orbits with @[email protected] au .
it can differ by three orders of magnitude for different series of runs . in table 5 in [ ] we present the number @xmath122 of objects each of which got @[email protected] au during at least 1000 yr , the second number @xmath122 in [ ] means the same but only for @[email protected] au . for series 2p and the 3:1 resonance with jupiter both values of @xmath122
were almost the same , for 10p they differed by a factor of 2.9 ( symplectic runs ) or 3.7 ( bulsto ) , and for other series only a small portion of decoupling objects crossed the orbit of the earth . for most runs ( except for 2p and asteroids )
the number of objects which got @[email protected] au was several times larger than that for @[email protected] au .
we also did some symplectic runs with @xmath104=30 day . for most of the objects we got similar results , but about 0.1% of the objects reached earth - crossing orbits with @xmath5@xmath12 au for several tens of myr and even ieo orbits .
these few bodies increased the mean value of @xmath53 by a factor of more than 10 . with @xmath104=30 days ,
four objects from the runs @xmath43 , 9p , 10p had a probability of collisions with the terrestrial planets for calculated sets of orbital elements greater than 1 for each , and for 2p there were 21 such objects among 251 considered .
for resonant asteroids , we also obtained much larger values than those with bulsto for @xmath53 and @xmath57 with rmvs3 at @xmath104=30 days , and similarly for the 3:1 resonance even at @xmath104=10 days .
for this resonance it may be better to use @xmath104@xmath110 days .
probably , the results of symplectic runs at @xmath104=30 days can be considered as such migration that includes some nongravitational forces .
@xmath123v@xmath22v@xmath22v@xmath22e@xmath22e@xmath22e@xmath22m@xmath22m@xmath22m@xmath124 or @xmath125 @xmath126 @xmath127 @xmath128\\ \hline n1&\le$]@xmath129 @xmath130\\ n1&\le$]@xmath131 @xmath132\\ $ ] 2p@xmath133@xmath134 @xmath135 @xmath136\\ $ ] 2p@xmath137 @xmath127 @xmath138\\ $ ] 2p@xmath139 @xmath127 @xmath140\\ $ ] 9p@xmath141 @xmath127 @xmath142\\ $ ] 10p@xmath133@xmath143 @xmath127 @xmath144\\ $ ] 22p@xmath145 @xmath127 @xmath146\\ $ ] 28p@xmath147 @xmath127 @xmath148\\ $ ] 39p@xmath149 @xmath127 @xmath150\\ 3:1&\le$]@xmath151 @xmath127 @xmath152\\ 3:1&10^d & 142 & 27700&8617&0.31 & 2725 & 9177 & 3.37 & 1136&9939&8.75 & 16 .
$ ] @xmath127 @xmath153\\ 5:2&10^{-12 } & 50 & 130 & 113&0.87 & 168 & 230 & 1.37&46.2 & 507 & 11.0 & 1.4 $ ] @xmath127
@xmath154\\ % 3:1&10^d & 144 ? & for50 & 1886&1.47 & 1889 & 2747 & 1.45 & 488&4173&8.55 & 2.7 & 229\\ 5:2&10^d & 144 & 58.6&86.8&1.48&86.7&174 & 2.01&17.&355&20.9&1.7 $ ] @xmath127
@xmath155\\ \hline \end{array } $ ] in the case of close encounters with the sun ( comet 2p and resonant asteroids ) , the probability @xmath101 of collisions with the sun was larger for rmvs3 than for bulsto , and for @xmath156@xmath32@xmath157@xmath32@xmath158 it was greater than for @xmath30@xmath159@xmath157@xmath32@xmath160 ( @xmath101=0.75 for the 3:1 resonance at @xmath104=3 days ) .
this probability is presented below for several runs : @xmath161 days@xmath162 days@xmath23comet 2p@xmath163resonance @xmath164resonance @xmath165 for comet 2p the values of @xmath60 were much smaller for rmvs3 than those for bulsto and they were smaller for smaller @xmath28 ; for other runs these values do not depend much on the method . in the direct integrations reported by valsecchi et al .
( 1995 ) , 13 of the 21 objects fell into the sun , so their value of @xmath101=0.62 is in accordance with our results obtained by bulsto ; it is less than that for @xmath28=@xmath33 , but greater than for @xmath28=@xmath30 .
note that even for different @xmath101 the data presented in tables 2 and 5 usually are similar . as we did not calculate collision probabilities of objects with planets by direct integrations , but instead calculated them with the random phase approximation from the orbital elements , we need not make integrations with extremely high accuracy . ipatov ( 1988b ) showed that for bulsto the integrals of motion were conserved better and the plots of orbital elements for closely separated values of @xmath28 were closer to one another at @xmath110@xmath32@xmath157@xmath32@xmath112 .
the smaller the value of @xmath28 , the more integrations steps are required , so @xmath28@xmath32@xmath33 for large time intervals are not necessarily better than those for @xmath110@xmath32@xmath157@xmath32@xmath160 .
small @xmath28 is clearly necessary for close encounters .
ipatov and hahn ( 1999 ) and ipatov ( 2000 ) found that former jcos reached resonances more often for bulsto than for rmvs3 at @xmath104=30 days .
therefore we made most of our bulsto runs with @xmath110@xmath32@xmath166@xmath32@xmath160 .
for a symplectic method it is better to use smaller @xmath104 at a smaller distance @xmath9 from the sun , but in some runs @xmath9 can vary considerably during the evolution .
w. bottke pointed out that h. levison showed that it is difficult to detect solar collisions in any numerical integrator , so he removed objects with @xmath0@xmath1@xmath167 .
the results presented above were obtained considering collisions with the sun , but we also investigated what happens if we consider @xmath167 equal to @xmath168 radii @xmath169 of the sun . for @xmath168=2 ,
some results are presented in fig .
4e - f , h . the only difference with the runs that considered collisions with the sun is that for those runs for series 2p and 10p and for the 3:1 resonance , some objects reached @xmath170@xmath1@xmath8@xmath1@xmath171 ( mainly with 2@xmath1@[email protected] au ) ( fig .
4b , d , g ) . for @xmath168=2
there were no comets with @xmath8@xmath6490@xmath50 and there were only a few orbits of asteroids with @xmath8@xmath6490@xmath50 ( fig .
4e - f , h ) .
the consideration of @xmath167 at @xmath168=3 did not influence the collision probabilities with the terrestrial planets or getting orbits with @xmath5@xmath12 au .
for example , with bulsto for the two objects with the largest collision probabilities , the time spent in orbits with @xmath5@xmath12 au decreased by only 0.3% for 2p at @xmath168=3 and was the same for 10p at @xmath168=10 .
according to duncan et al .
( 1995 ) , the fraction @xmath172 of tnos reaching jupiter s orbit under the influence of the giant planets in 1 gyr is 0.8 - 1.7% .
as the mutual gravitational influence of tnos can play a larger role in variations of their orbital elements than collisions ( ipatov , 2001 ) , we considered the upper value of @xmath172 . using the total of @xmath4 1-km tnos with @xmath173@xmath1@xmath5@xmath1@xmath174 au , and assuming that the mean time for a body to move in a jupiter - crossing orbit is 0.12 myr , we find that about @xmath175=@xmath6 1-km former tnos are now jupiter - crossers , and 3000 are jfcs . using the total times spent by @xmath56 simulated jcos in various orbits , we obtain the following numbers of 1-km former tnos now moving in several types of orbits : @xmath176@xmath56@xmath177method@xmath71series@xmath22ieos@xmath22aten@xmath22al2@xmath22apollo@xmath22amor@xmath233100@xmath22bulsto+rmvs3@xmath22n1@xmath1781900@xmath22bulsto@xmath22n1@xmath1797350@xmath177bulsto@xmath22all without 2p@xmath1807852@xmath177bulsto@xmath22all@xmath181 for example ,
the number of ieos @xmath182=@xmath183/@xmath184 , where @xmath185 is the total time during which @xmath186 former jcos moved in ieos orbits , and @xmath187 is the total time during which @xmath186 jcos moved in jupiter - crossing orbits . as we considered mainly the runs with relatively high migration to the earth , the actual number of neos is smaller by a factor of several , the actual portion of ieos and atens can be smaller and that for amors can be larger than those in the lines in the table at @xmath56@xmath647000 .
even if the number of apollo objects is smaller than that based on @xmath43 runs , it may still be comparable to the real number ( 750 ) of 1-km earth - crossing objects ( half of them are in orbits with @xmath5@xmath12 au ) , although the latter number does not include those in highly eccentric orbits .
the values of the characteristic time ( usually @xmath67 ) for the collision of a former jco or a resonant asteroid with a planet ( see tables 2 and 5 ) are greater than the values of @xmath10 for neos in table 1 , @[email protected] gyr for 7852 objects , so we expect that the mean inclinations and eccentricities of unobserved neos are greater than those for the neos that are already known .
jedicke et al .
( 2003 ) found similar results . on average , the values of @xmath67 for our @xmath43 series and for most of our simulated jcos were not greater than those for our calculated asteroids , and migrating earth - crossing objects had similar @xmath7 and @xmath8 for both former jcos and resonant asteroids .
former jcos , which move in earth - crossing orbits for more than 1 myr , while moving in such orbits , usually had larger @xmath53 and smaller @xmath7 and @xmath8 ( sometimes similar to those of the observed neos , see figs . 1 and 3 ) than other jcos .
it is easier to observe orbits with smaller values of @xmath7 and @xmath8 , and probably , many of the neos moving in orbits with large values of @xmath7 and @xmath8 have not yet been discovered .
about 1% of the observed apollos cross jupiter s orbit , and an additional 1% of apollos have aphelia between 4.7 - 4.8 au , but these jupiter - crossers are far from the earth most of time , so their actual fraction of ecos is greater than for observed ecos .
the fraction of earth - crossers among observed jupiter - family comets is about 10% .
this is a little more than @xmath188 for our @xmath43 runs , but less than for 7850 jcos . for our former resonant asteroids
, @xmath60 is relatively large ( @xmath950.2 myr ) , and such asteroids can reach cometary orbits .
comets are estimated to be active for @xmath189@xmath3@xmath190@xmath6 yr .
@xmath189 is smaller for closer encounters with the sun ( weissman et al . , 2002 ) , so for comet 2p it is smaller than for other jfcs .
some former comets can move for tens or even hundreds of myr in neo orbits , so the number of extinct comets can exceed the number of active comets by several orders of magnitude .
the mean time spent by encke - type objects in earth - crossing orbits is @xmath520.4 myr ( even for @xmath167 ) .
this time corresponds to @xmath5240 - 400 extinct comets of this type .
note that the diameter of comet 2p is about 5 - 10 km , so the number of smaller extinct comets can be much larger .
the above estimates of the number of neos are approximate .
for example , it is possible that the number of 1-km tnos is several times smaller than @xmath4 , while some scientists estimated that this number can be up to @xmath191 ( jewitt , 1999 ) .
also , the fraction of tnos that have migrated towards the earth might be smaller .
on the other hand , the above number of tnos was estimated for @xmath5@xmath150 au , and tnos from more distant regions can also migrate inward .
probably , the oort cloud could also supply jupiter - family comets . according to asher et al .
( 2001 ) , the rate of a cometary object decoupling from the jupiter vicinity and transferring to an neo - like orbit is increased by a factor of 4 or 5 due to nongravitational effects ( see also fernandez and gallardo , 2002 ) .
this would result in larger values of @xmath61 and @xmath57 than those shown in tables 2 and 5 .
our estimates show that , in principle , the trans - neptunian belt can provide a significant portion of the earth - crossing objects , although many neos clearly came from the main asteroid belt
. it may be possible to explore former tnos near the earth s orbit without sending spacecraft to the trans - neptunian region . according to our results
, many former jupiter - family comets can have orbits typical of asteroids , and collide with the earth from typical neo orbits .
based on the collision probability @xmath192 we find that 1-km former tnos now collide with the earth once in 3 myr .
this value of @xmath53 is smaller than that for our @xmath43 runs , does not include the champions in collision probability , and is only 1/20 of that for our 7852 jcos . using @xmath192 and assuming the total mass of planetesimals that ever crossed jupiter s orbit is @xmath3@xmath193 , where @xmath194 is the mass of the earth ( ipatov , 1993 , 2000 ) , we conclude that the total mass of bodies that impacted the earth is @xmath195 .
if ices comprised only half of this mass , then the total mass of ices @xmath196 that were delivered to the earth from the feeding zone of the giant planets is about the mass of the terrestrial oceans ( @xmath197 ) .
the calculated probabilities of collisions of objects with planets show that the fraction of the mass of the planet delivered by short - period comets can be greater for mars and venus than for the earth ( compare the values of @xmath53@xmath198@xmath199 using @xmath53 from tables 2 and 5 , where @xmath199 is the mass of the planet ) .
this larger mass fraction would result in relatively large ancient oceans on mars and venus . on the other hand , there is the deuterium / hydrogen paradox of earth s oceans , as the d / h ratio is different for oceans and comets .
pavlov et al . ( 1999 ) suggested that solar wind - implanted hydrogen on interplanetary dust particles could provide the necessary low - d / h component of earth s water inventory .
our estimate of the migration of water to the early earth is in accordance with chyba ( 1989 ) , but is greater than those of morbidelli et al .
( 2000 ) and levison et al .
the latter obtained smaller values of @xmath196 , and we suspect that this is because they did not take into account the migration of bodies into orbits with @[email protected] au and @xmath0@xmath11 au .
perhaps this was because they modeled a relatively small number of objects , and levison et al .
( 2001 ) did not take into account the influence of the terrestrial planets . in
our runs the probability of a collision of a single object with a terrestrial planet could be much greater than the total probability of thousands of other objects , so the statistics are dominated by rare occurrences that might not appear in smaller simulations .
the mean probabilities of collisions can differ by orders of magnitude for different jcos .
other scientists considered other initial objects and smaller numbers of jcos , and did not find decoupling from jupiter , which is a rare event .
we believe there is no contradiction between our present results and the smaller migration of former jcos to the near - earth space that was obtained in earlier work , including our own papers ( e.g. ipatov and hahn , 1999 ) , where we used the same integration package . from measured albedos , fernandez et al .
( 2001 ) concluded that the fraction of extinct comets among neos and unusual asteroids is significant ( at least 9% are candidates ) .
rickman et al . ( 2001 ) believed that comets played an important and perhaps even dominant role among all km - size earth impactors . in their opinion , dark spectral classes that might include the ex - comets are severely underrepresented ( see also jewitt and fernandez , 2001 ) .
our runs showed that if one observes former comets in neo orbits , then it is probable that they have already moved in such orbits for millions ( or at least hundreds of thousands ) years , and only a few of them have been in such orbits for short times ( a few thousand years ) .
some former comets that have moved in typical neo orbits for millions or even hundreds of millions of years , and might have had multiple close encounters with the sun , could have lost their mantles , which causes their low albedo , and so change their albedo ( for most observed neos , the albedo is greater than that for comets ; fernandez et al . , 2001 ) and would look like typical asteroids .
typical comets have larger rotation periods than typical neos ( binzel et al . , 1992 ) , but , while losing considerable portions of their masses , extinct comets can decrease these periods . in future
we plan to consider a larger initial number of objects initially located beyond jupiter in order to better estimate their probabilities of migration to a near - earth space .
collision statistics for the terrestrial planets are dominated by very small numbers of bodies that reach orbits with high collision probabilities , so it is essential to consider very large numbers of particles .
the initial conditions for the orbit integrations appear to matter more than the choice of orbit integrator .
some jupiter - family comets can reach typical neo orbits and remain there for millions of years . while the probability of such events is small ( about 0.1% in our runs and perhaps smaller for other initial data ) , nevertheless the majority of collisions of former jcos with the terrestrial planets are due to such objects .
the amount of water delivered to the earth during planet formation could be about the mass of the earth oceans . from the dynamical point of view
there could be ( not must be ) many extinct comets among the neos . for better estimates of the portion of extinct comets among neos we will need orbit integrations for many more tnos and jcos , and wider analysis of observations and craters .
this work was supported by nrc ( 0158730 ) , nasa ( nag5 - 10776 ) , intas ( 00 - 240 ) , and rfbr ( 01 - 02 - 17540 ) . for preparing some data for figures we used some subroutines written by p. taylor .
we are thankful to w. f. bottke , s. chesley , and h. f. levison for helpful remarks .
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pavlov , a. a. , a. k. pavlov , j. f. kasting , irradiated interplanetary dust particles as a possible solution for the deuterium / hydrogen paradox of earth s oceans , _ journal of geophysical research _ , * 104 * , no .
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rickman , h. , j. a. fernandez , g. tancredi , j. licandro , the cometary contribution to planetary impact craters , in _ collisional processes in the solar system _ , edited by m. ya .
marov and h. rickman , assl , * 261 * , 131 - 142 , 2001 . | arxiv |
sometimes simply considered junk dna , transposable elements actually have great impact on their host genomes in several ways . mobilized transposable elements can insertionally mutate the genes in which they land [ 1 - 3 ] .
in addition , transposable element sequences in the genome can modulate gene expression by serving as promoters , enhancers , silencers , sites of epigenetic modification , and alternative splicing sites [ 4 - 6 ] .
transposon encoded genes can also be adopted by the host to perform cellular functions , a process referred to as ' molecular domestication ' [ 7 - 12 ] . because many copies of integrated elements exist in a genome
, they can serve as locations for recombination events that produce deletions , duplications , inversions , or translocations [ 13 - 15 ] .
there are two basic types of transposable elements : retrotransposons , which mobilize via an rna intermediate in a ' copy and paste ' reaction ; and dna transposons , which mobilize by a cut - and - paste reaction . to date
, there have been no published accounts of naturally occurring active dna transposons in mammalian genomes , although many copies of inactive fossil dna transposons are present .
in contrast to dna elements , a few of these retroelements are active and capable of retrotransposition .
the human genome harbors about 80 to 100 potentially active long interspersed nuclear element ( line)1 ( l1 ) retrotransposons , although it is estimated that only about one in ten of these is highly active . as a consequence , about one in 50 individuals will carry a new l1 insertion due to either retrotransposition in the parental germline or during early development .
in addition to the autonomous line elements , the human genome contains active short interspersed nuclear element ( sines ) .
sine elements are non - autonomous elements and rely on the activity of proteins encoded by lines to retrotranspose . members of the alu family of sine elements are present in more than one million copies in the human genome , and new alu insertions are relatively frequent , occurring in approximately one in 20 individuals .
although transposition in the germline is the only way for new insertions to become fixed in the population , there is increasing evidence that transposable elements can have great impact on their hosts by their presence or activity in somatic cells . here
, we review several mechanisms by which transposable elements can have an impact on somatic cells , including active mobilization , by the activities of domesticated transposases and by influencing genomic rearrangements .
l1 elements are a large family of retrotransposons that encode two proteins that can catalyze target - primed , reverse transcription and integration of transcripts .
the l1 promoter is found in the 5 ' untranslated region of the element and initiates transcription within a few base pairs of base 1 .
the l1 promoter is known to be active in some somatic cell types [ 22 - 26 ] and therefore new l1 insertions could , in theory , accumulate in somatic cells .
the ability of l1 transposition in somatic cells to result in gene mutation was appreciated when a somatic l1 insertion in the myc proto - oncogene was discovered in a human breast ductal adenocarcinoma .
however , the contribution of somatic mobilization of endogenous l1 elements to cancer formation may be rare .
the only other example of a known somatic insertion of a l1 element in a tumor was found in the tumor suppressor gene apc in a colon cancer .
further research will be necessary to determine how often l1 gene insertions occur in human cancer because many techniques currently used to detect mutations in cancer , for example exon resequencing , would not always detect this kind of mutation .
in fact , there is evidence that epigenetic regulation of endogenous l1 elements may influence tumor progression .
many human tumor genomes become globally hypomethylated upon cancer progression , and genome hypomethylation can result in upregulated retrotransposon transcription in cancer cells .
l1 promoter hypomethylation has been documented in progression of chronic myeloid leukemia to blast crisis . in chronic myeloid leukemia , l1 hypomethylation
was associated with an upregulation of l1 transcript levels and poorer long - term survival of patients .
certainly , if the levels of transcripts from active l1 elements increase , then it could lead to the accumulation of new insertional mutations in cancer genes .
however , activation of l1 transcription could also contribute to tumor initiation or progression by additional mechanisms .
studies have shown that inhibition of l1-encoded reverse transcriptase using rna interference or small molecules reduces proliferation and promotes differentiation of melanoma , thyroid , and prostate cancer cell lines .
it has been speculated that l1 reverse transcriptase can regulate endogenous gene expression by some unknown mechanism , such as chromatin modification or nuclear repositioning .
in addition , because l1 expression in cell culture can generate double strand breaks , it is possible that l1 activity in somatic cells could contribute to genomic instability . although the action of transposable elements can be either beneficial or detrimental to the organism , those insertions that harm the organism , by promoting cancer for instance , will be the easiest to identify .
however , recent work indicates the potential for somatic mobilization of l1 elements to have a positive impact on the organism by generating diversity within a cell type .
specifically , a human l1 element driven from its endogenous promoter was shown to retrotranspose in vitro in rodent neural progenitor cells ( npcs ) and in vivo in mouse brain . furthermore , these insertions were capable of generating mutations that apparently have an impact on cell differentiation .
this study of l1 activity in neuronal cells took advantage of a retrotransposition indicator to detect retrotransposition .
this indicator is a transgene that expresses a modified l1 element from its endogenous promoter .
the l1 transgene is engineered to contain a reporter that consists of an enhanced green fluorescence protein ( egfp ) expression cassette in the opposite orientation to that of the l1 element .
the egfp cassette is interrupted by an intron in the same orientation as l1 transcription , so that egfp can only be expressed when the element has undergone transcription , splicing , and integration into a new location in the genome .
egfp expression could be detected after nucleofection of the retrotransposition indicator into npcs in vitro and in neurons of mice harboring the retrotransposition indicator as a transgene . in vitro , cells that had acquired new retrotransposon insertions could be differentiated into the three major neural cell types , namely neurons , astrocytes , and oligodendrocytes . in vivo ,
cells that expressed egfp also expressed markers for neurons but not markers for astrocytes or oligodendrocytes . in vitro
, the genomic locations of several retrotransposed l1s were cloned using inverse polymerase chain reaction based techniques .
the cell clone harboring the psd-93 insertion did express higher levels of the psd-93 transcript than the parental cells , and downregulating psd-93 via small interfering rna knockdown in this clone resulted in a less differentiated phenotype .
this indicates that , at least in vitro , l1 transposition can change somatic genomes in a way that has phenotypic consequences .
future work will be required to determine whether endogenous l1s ( for instance , mouse l1s in mouse cells or human l1s in human cells ) transpose in npcs and whether this truly promotes diversity among these cells . because retrotransposition of alu elements in trans by line elements has been detected in cell culture , it will also be interesting to determine whether somatic activity of l1 promotes somatic retrotransposition of alu or other non - autonomous elements in vivo .
although there are no known active dna transposons in mammals , there are genes that were domesticated from these elements present in their host genomes . the recombination - activating gene ( rag)1 and rag2 proteins are important for generating somatic diversity in the immune system because they play an indispensable role in v(d)j recombination during lymphocyte development . the rag1 gene is hypothesized to have its origin from the transposase encoded by an ancient transib superfamily transposon . in fact , recent evidence demonstrates that the rag proteins still possess the capability to transpose genomic sequences excised during v(d)j recombination to new places in the lymphocyte genome .
v(d)j recombination is a complex event , and both rag proteins as well as other factors are involved in the process .
recombination in developing lymphocytes results in the joining of variable ( v ) , joining ( j ) , and sometimes diversity ( d ) segments together to form a mature b - cell receptor ( bcr ) or t - cell receptor ( tcr ) gene .
each rss is composed of unique heptamer and nonamer sequences separated by 12 or 23 base pairs .
recombination only occurs between rsss with 12 and 23 base pair sequences separating the heptamer and nonamers .
recombination removes sequences between v and j , or v , d , and j segments , releasing a circularized intervening dna called the signal joint .
v(d)j recombination events share biochemical similarity with the cut - and - paste reaction of dna transposons , such as the hermes and other hobo , activator , tam3 family elements .
in fact , the excised fragment with its rss ends is similar to a dna transposon , but unlike a dna transposon it is circularized .
the extrachromosomal array , or signal joint , excised during v(d)j recombination can be reintegrated by the rag proteins into artificial dna targets [ 39 - 42 ] and has been detected in vivo at the hprt locus in t cells isolated from normal human donors .
however , only recently has an assay been developed that allows measurement of the rate at which rags can catalyze insertion of the extrachromosomal array into the host genome .
this was accomplished by generating a recombination substrate in a pre - b cell line that could detect both rearrangement and transposition .
this recombination substrate consists of a puromycin resistance gene that is interrupted by a zeocin - green fluorescent protein ( gfp ) resistance marker .
the zeocin - gfp marker is flanked by rsss so that it mimics the substrate for v(d)j recombination and is a substrate for rag activity .
when this reporter undergoes rag - initiated recombination , the zeocin - gfp marker with its rsss are excised as a signal joint , and the puromycin resistance reading frame is restored , allowing the cells to grow in puromycin selection .
the excised signal joint dna consisting of the zeocin - gfp fragment flanked by rsss resembles a transposon .
however , if the fragment undergoes a transposition - like reaction and is reintegrated into the host genome , the cell will also become zeocin resistant .
as zeocin resistance can also be acquired if the fragment randomly integrates into dna , true transposition events can be identified because of the generation of a characteristic integration - associated target dna repeat . using this assay ,
it was determined that the fragment excised by rag activity during v(d)j recombination reintegrates in this cell line in one out of every 13,000 recombination events .
some of these events are random integrations , but the estimated rate of bona fide transposition events is one every 50,000 recombination events . if this rate were true for human lymphocytes in vivo , then it would translate into approximately 10,000 transpositions per day .
in addition , the rate detected in the b - cell line could actually be an underestimation because the assay only detects transposition events that insert the zeocin - gfp construct in a genomic location that allows its expression .
nevertheless , the critical action of the rag proteins in v(d)j rearrangement also results in a potential negative consequence : insertional mutation of the host genome via integration of the excised ' transposon ' .
the consequences of these events for the genomes of developing lymphocytes remain to be determined but they should be investigated , particularly because they may relate to b - cell or t - cell malignancies .
l1 elements are a large family of retrotransposons that encode two proteins that can catalyze target - primed , reverse transcription and integration of transcripts .
the l1 promoter is found in the 5 ' untranslated region of the element and initiates transcription within a few base pairs of base 1 .
the l1 promoter is known to be active in some somatic cell types [ 22 - 26 ] and therefore new l1 insertions could , in theory , accumulate in somatic cells .
the ability of l1 transposition in somatic cells to result in gene mutation was appreciated when a somatic l1 insertion in the myc proto - oncogene was discovered in a human breast ductal adenocarcinoma .
however , the contribution of somatic mobilization of endogenous l1 elements to cancer formation may be rare .
the only other example of a known somatic insertion of a l1 element in a tumor was found in the tumor suppressor gene apc in a colon cancer .
further research will be necessary to determine how often l1 gene insertions occur in human cancer because many techniques currently used to detect mutations in cancer , for example exon resequencing , would not always detect this kind of mutation .
in fact , there is evidence that epigenetic regulation of endogenous l1 elements may influence tumor progression .
many human tumor genomes become globally hypomethylated upon cancer progression , and genome hypomethylation can result in upregulated retrotransposon transcription in cancer cells .
l1 promoter hypomethylation has been documented in progression of chronic myeloid leukemia to blast crisis . in chronic myeloid leukemia , l1 hypomethylation
was associated with an upregulation of l1 transcript levels and poorer long - term survival of patients .
certainly , if the levels of transcripts from active l1 elements increase , then it could lead to the accumulation of new insertional mutations in cancer genes .
however , activation of l1 transcription could also contribute to tumor initiation or progression by additional mechanisms .
studies have shown that inhibition of l1-encoded reverse transcriptase using rna interference or small molecules reduces proliferation and promotes differentiation of melanoma , thyroid , and prostate cancer cell lines .
it has been speculated that l1 reverse transcriptase can regulate endogenous gene expression by some unknown mechanism , such as chromatin modification or nuclear repositioning .
in addition , because l1 expression in cell culture can generate double strand breaks , it is possible that l1 activity in somatic cells could contribute to genomic instability . although the action of transposable elements can be either beneficial or detrimental to the organism , those insertions that harm the organism , by promoting cancer for instance , will be the easiest to identify .
however , recent work indicates the potential for somatic mobilization of l1 elements to have a positive impact on the organism by generating diversity within a cell type .
specifically , a human l1 element driven from its endogenous promoter was shown to retrotranspose in vitro in rodent neural progenitor cells ( npcs ) and in vivo in mouse brain . furthermore , these insertions were capable of generating mutations that apparently have an impact on cell differentiation .
this study of l1 activity in neuronal cells took advantage of a retrotransposition indicator to detect retrotransposition .
this indicator is a transgene that expresses a modified l1 element from its endogenous promoter .
the l1 transgene is engineered to contain a reporter that consists of an enhanced green fluorescence protein ( egfp ) expression cassette in the opposite orientation to that of the l1 element .
the egfp cassette is interrupted by an intron in the same orientation as l1 transcription , so that egfp can only be expressed when the element has undergone transcription , splicing , and integration into a new location in the genome .
egfp expression could be detected after nucleofection of the retrotransposition indicator into npcs in vitro and in neurons of mice harboring the retrotransposition indicator as a transgene . in vitro , cells that had acquired new retrotransposon insertions could be differentiated into the three major neural cell types , namely neurons , astrocytes , and oligodendrocytes . in vivo ,
cells that expressed egfp also expressed markers for neurons but not markers for astrocytes or oligodendrocytes . in vitro
, the genomic locations of several retrotransposed l1s were cloned using inverse polymerase chain reaction based techniques .
the cell clone harboring the psd-93 insertion did express higher levels of the psd-93 transcript than the parental cells , and downregulating psd-93 via small interfering rna knockdown in this clone resulted in a less differentiated phenotype .
this indicates that , at least in vitro , l1 transposition can change somatic genomes in a way that has phenotypic consequences .
future work will be required to determine whether endogenous l1s ( for instance , mouse l1s in mouse cells or human l1s in human cells ) transpose in npcs and whether this truly promotes diversity among these cells . because retrotransposition of alu elements in trans by line elements has been detected in cell culture , it will also be interesting to determine whether somatic activity of l1 promotes somatic retrotransposition of alu or other non - autonomous elements in vivo .
although there are no known active dna transposons in mammals , there are genes that were domesticated from these elements present in their host genomes . the recombination - activating gene ( rag)1 and rag2 proteins are important for generating somatic diversity in the immune system because they play an indispensable role in v(d)j recombination during lymphocyte development .
the rag1 gene is hypothesized to have its origin from the transposase encoded by an ancient transib superfamily transposon .
in fact , recent evidence demonstrates that the rag proteins still possess the capability to transpose genomic sequences excised during v(d)j recombination to new places in the lymphocyte genome .
v(d)j recombination is a complex event , and both rag proteins as well as other factors are involved in the process .
recombination in developing lymphocytes results in the joining of variable ( v ) , joining ( j ) , and sometimes diversity ( d ) segments together to form a mature b - cell receptor ( bcr ) or t - cell receptor ( tcr ) gene .
each rss is composed of unique heptamer and nonamer sequences separated by 12 or 23 base pairs .
recombination only occurs between rsss with 12 and 23 base pair sequences separating the heptamer and nonamers .
recombination removes sequences between v and j , or v , d , and j segments , releasing a circularized intervening dna called the signal joint .
v(d)j recombination events share biochemical similarity with the cut - and - paste reaction of dna transposons , such as the hermes and other hobo , activator , tam3 family elements .
in fact , the excised fragment with its rss ends is similar to a dna transposon , but unlike a dna transposon it is circularized .
the extrachromosomal array , or signal joint , excised during v(d)j recombination can be reintegrated by the rag proteins into artificial dna targets [ 39 - 42 ] and has been detected in vivo at the hprt locus in t cells isolated from normal human donors .
however , only recently has an assay been developed that allows measurement of the rate at which rags can catalyze insertion of the extrachromosomal array into the host genome .
this was accomplished by generating a recombination substrate in a pre - b cell line that could detect both rearrangement and transposition .
this recombination substrate consists of a puromycin resistance gene that is interrupted by a zeocin - green fluorescent protein ( gfp ) resistance marker .
the zeocin - gfp marker is flanked by rsss so that it mimics the substrate for v(d)j recombination and is a substrate for rag activity .
when this reporter undergoes rag - initiated recombination , the zeocin - gfp marker with its rsss are excised as a signal joint , and the puromycin resistance reading frame is restored , allowing the cells to grow in puromycin selection .
the excised signal joint dna consisting of the zeocin - gfp fragment flanked by rsss resembles a transposon .
however , if the fragment undergoes a transposition - like reaction and is reintegrated into the host genome , the cell will also become zeocin resistant . as zeocin resistance
can also be acquired if the fragment randomly integrates into dna , true transposition events can be identified because of the generation of a characteristic integration - associated target dna repeat . using this assay , it was determined that the fragment excised by rag activity during v(d)j recombination reintegrates in this cell line in one out of every 13,000 recombination events .
some of these events are random integrations , but the estimated rate of bona fide transposition events is one every 50,000 recombination events . if this rate were true for human lymphocytes in vivo , then it would translate into approximately 10,000 transpositions per day .
in addition , the rate detected in the b - cell line could actually be an underestimation because the assay only detects transposition events that insert the zeocin - gfp construct in a genomic location that allows its expression .
nevertheless , the critical action of the rag proteins in v(d)j rearrangement also results in a potential negative consequence : insertional mutation of the host genome via integration of the excised ' transposon ' .
the consequences of these events for the genomes of developing lymphocytes remain to be determined but they should be investigated , particularly because they may relate to b - cell or t - cell malignancies .
although the consequence of rag - mediated insertion of ' transposons ' for the host lymphocyte is still unknown , the ability of v(d)j recombination to promote tumor formation through the generation of chromosomal rearrangements has been well studied .
the formation of chimeric fusion oncoproteins can occur when rag proteins generate double strand breaks at sites in the genome that are similar in primary sequence or that adapt a similar structure to their normal rss sites in the tcr or bcr loci .
when these breaks are recombined with legitimate breaks at the tcr or bcr loci , they can result in rearrangements wherein a proto - oncogene such as lmo2 and bcl2 becomes abnormally expressed under the control of enhancers and promoters at tcr and bcr loci , respectively .
events such as these are responsible for the generation of some oncogenic chromosomal rearrangements , but they are clearly not responsible for all .
genome fragile sites , repair of double strand breaks by nonhomologous end joining ( nhej ) , and homologous recombination ( hr ) also play a role in generating oncogenic chromosomal rearrangements .
recombination events that produce oncogenic translocations , deletions , and other rearrangements frequently occur at or near alu sequences in the genome .
indeed , part of the alu core sequence is similar to ( crossover hot - spot instigator [ chi ] ) motifs in escherichia coli that are thought to be sites of rec - mediated recombination .
it has therefore been hypothesized that this site in an alu element could be involved in binding proteins involved in hr .
although there are many documented cases of alu - alu hr mediating germline deletion of dna , specific examples of alu - alu recombination in somatic cells are rare , with the most famous example being the partial internal tandem duplications of part of the mll gene found in cases of acute myeloid leukemia .
in addition , recombination between alu elements has been detected in a translocation involving the tre oncogene in ewing 's sarcoma .
although many cancer - associated translocations have breakpoints in or near alu elements , the sequences found at the fusion sites do not indicate that hr has occurred . to investigate how alu elements can influence translocation formation
this was accomplished by knocking in two constructs into opposite chromosomes in embryonic stem cells .
each chromosome contained parts of drug resistance markers and part of an alu element . because it is believed that most translocations are initiated by formation of double strand breaks , both constructs contain a recognition site for the scei restriction endonuclease .
the scei recognition site is not found naturally anywhere in the mouse genome , so expression of the scei restriction enzyme will result in double strand break formation only at the sites introduced into the genome .
translocations following scei - induced double strand break formation would bring the two halves of the drug resistance markers together , allowing drug resistance to be used as a readout for translocation formation .
furthermore , by sequencing the translocation junction from drug resistant cells , the mechanism of dna repair can be inferred .
repair after dna double strand break formation can occur via hr , nhej , or single strand annealing ( ssa ) .
ssa does involve homologous sequences , but involves annealing of homologous sequences and not the strand invasion that is a part of hr . using this system
, it was determined that the presence of alu elements near the induced double strand break does not appreciably influence the rate at which translocations are formed . however , alu elements can influence the type of dna repair that occurs .
the presence of identical alu sequence on both chromosomes results in repair due to ssa , whereas nhej predominates in the presence of divergent alu sequences .
this evidence from embryonic stem cells supports the observation that although translocations in cancer cells may form near or in alu elements , they rarely contain junction sequences that imply direct alu - alu homologous recombination .
however , the embryonic stem system contains artificial sites for dna double strand break formation and translocation , and it remains to be determined whether similar results are obtained when sequences from the sites of frequent chromosomal translocations are used .
clearly , the presence of transposable elements can generate heritable mutations or chromosomal rearrangements , some of which become fixed over evolutionary time scales .
however , the recent observation that transposable elements are active in somatic cells opens the possibility that transposable elements can generate diversity among somatic cells with the same genome .
the nature of this diversity includes upregulated expression of transposon proteins , which could affect endogenous gene regulation .
the process of transposition by retrotransposons may create insertion mutations that influence neural differentiation or cause cancer .
the very high copy number of alu elements provides substrate to influence the outcomes of repair of double strand breaks that result in chromosomal translocations .
these and other data indicate that transposons can not be ignored as important factors that influence the behavior of somatic cells in the human genome .
lsc and dal are inventors on a pending patent that covers the use of sleeping beauty for somatic mutagenesis for cancer gene discovery .
we wish to thank dr timothy starr and the members of the beckman center for transposon research for many helpful discussions .
work on transposon mutagenesis in the largaespada laboratory is supported by nci grants r01ca113636 and r21ca118600 and by nida grant da014764 .
this article has been published as part of genome biology volume 8 , supplement 1 , 2007 : transposons in vertebrate functional genomics . | pubmed |
Derivation of relationship between speed of light in two mediums and the angle of refraction and incidence
I came across the following equation for the speed of light in different medium and the angle of reflection(Θ1) and refraction(Θ2):
>
> sin(Θ1)/sin(Θ2)=v1/v2=constant
>
>
>
My textbook does not give any derivation of this relationship, but uses it to derive Snell's law. I was hoping someone could provide a derivation of this relationship, as I could not find it elsewhere.
<http://www.animations.physics.unsw.edu.au/jw/light/Snells_law_and_refraction.htm>
This link might help you find your answer
| stackexchange/physics |
Why is not the D'Alembert operator a scalar?
I am taking a course on classical electrodynamics and my professor has defined the D'Alembert operator to me as:
$$\square=\eta^{\mu \nu} \partial\_{\mu} \partial\_{\nu}$$
I have been operating using this definition because I know that what it means is (in a 4-dimensional Minkowski space):
$$\square = -\partial\_0 \partial\_0 + \partial\_1 \partial\_1 + \partial\_2 \partial\_2 + \partial\_3 \partial\_3$$
But today I was looking again at this definition and I started having some doubts. The D'Alembert operator is defined as a (2,0) tensor acting on two vectors. **Shouldn't it be then just a scalar?** Why is it not just a number?
I'm sure it is a fairly elemental question but I can't understand it right now.
You say in the comments that you think of the metric as a bilinear symmetric form acting on two vectors. This is correct, of course. What we're doing here is pretending that the operator $\partial$ is a covector, and acting with the metric (the inverse metric, actually) on two copies of it: $\Box = \eta(\partial, \partial) = \eta^{\mu\nu}\partial\_\mu \partial\_\nu$. This is not perfectly rigorous since $\partial$ isn't an element of the cotangent space, but its components $\partial\_\mu$ behave as if they were the components of a covector. This means that the resulting operator is a scalar: for any scalar function $f$, $\Box f$ is a scalar.
You might be confused because there are two meaning of "acting on" here. The metric acts on vectors (or covectors) because it is a tensor; if you give it two vectors you get a number. The D'Alembertian $\Box$ and the gradient $\partial$ are differential operators and they act on functions, returning another function in the case of $\Box$ or a covector in the case of $\partial$.
| stackexchange/physics |
The music of Ecuador is a diverse aspect of Ecuadorian culture. Ecuadorian music ranges from indigenous styles such as pasillo to Afro-Ecuadorian styles like bomba to modern indie rock.
The pacific coast of Ecuador is known for the Amorfino, a popular type of song, as well as a variety of dance music. The Andes mountains house several indigenous styles of music, such as that of the Otavalo. Afro-Ecuadorian music is also a prominent part of the country's scene, with styles such as marimba and bomba stemming from the days of slavery.
Pasillo, pasacalle, and yarabi are popular styles of folksong, with the former being similar to a flute and usually downtempo as it is descended from the waltz. Pasacalle is a form of dance music, while the sentimental yarabi is probably the most popular form in Ecuador.
In recent years, cities such as Guayaquil and Quito have developed an indie rock scene that has allowed bands such as Da Pawn and La Máquina Camaleön to achieve international popularity.
Andean music La Sierra
The mountainous, Andean region of Ecuador, the Sierra, is home to a style of music called . The music of the Otavalo people is well-known worldwide. A small panpipe called the rondador is the most distinctive instrument, but ensembles are typically groups of wind instruments, guitar trios often including a bandolin, or brass bands. Folk rhythms include cachullapi, yumbo, and danzante.
Musicians like Huayanay have helped to popularize Andean-Ecuadoran music.
Afro-Ecuadorian music
Afro-Ecuadorian music is mainly of two types. Marimba music comes from Esmeraldas, and gets its name from the prominent use of marimbas, along with drums and other instruments specific to this region such as the bombo, the cununo and the wasa. Marimba music also plays a part in Roman Catholic worship in and around Esmeraldas, as well as in celebrations and at parties. It features call and response chanting along with the music. Some of the rhythms associated with it are currulao, bambuco and andarele.
In the Chota Valley, bomba music is the predominant style. The bomba style originates from its namesake instrument, a bomba drum. The drum is played in both single and compound duple meter and is typically accompanied by an ensemble of three guitars, a shaker, and vocals. The origins of bomba are disputed due to lack of written documentation, though it is known to have been created mostly by Afro-Ecuadorian slaves. Bomba was originally a style used only during celebrations and holidays, but following its rise to popularity and commercialization, it has been found in other contexts as well.
Religious practice among afro-Ecuadorians is usually Roman Catholic. There is no significant African religion, although Catholic worship is distinctive in Esmeraldas, and sometimes is done with marimba music.
Pasillo
Pasillo is highly popular in Ecuador, where it is the national genre of music. Pasillo as a genre is also present in the highland regions of Colombia and to a lesser extent, Panama and Venezuela. In contrast to other styles of pasillo, however, Ecuadorian pasillo is slow and melancholic, often resting on themes of heartbreak and regret. Pasillo was named the national style of Ecuador and is the style of many city anthems, such as that of Guayaquil. Today, it has incorporated more European features of classical dance, such as waltz. As it spread during the Gran Chaco period, pasillo also absorbed the individual characteristics of isolated villages. This gives it an eclectic feel; however, the style, tone, and tempo of the music differ in each village.
In its waltz, pasillo alters the classically European dance form to accompany guitar, mandolin, and other string instruments.
Rock Music
Rock music came to Ecuador in the midst of the 1960s in the heyday of military dictatorship. Within the context of political culture deeply shaped by conservative Catholicism rock music was considered to be a dangerous movement that seduces the youth. From traditional fractions of the left it was regarded as an expression of cultural imperialism that corrupts national-popular culture.
Until the midst of the 1990s rockeros of all kinds have been discriminated against. Consequently a powerful alliance of segments of the Catholic Church, the police and other government institutions has been formed against rock music. Even in the new millennium the official media discourse is highly discriminative against the rockeros.
Several mestizo-bands in Ecuador made use of indigenous musical elements in rock music since the 1990s. Rocola Bacalao integrated Andean rhythms and made in their song-texts references to emblematic rural towns, such as Pujilí in Cotopaxi. Sal y Mileto and Casería de Lagartos coined the genre of new Ecuadorian Rock. Nevertheless, in the 1980s and the early 1990s the rhythm of the social as expressed in Ecuadorian rock was characterized by hopelessness and resistance or even resignation against repression. With the emergence of a powerful indigenous movement the rhythm changed. The most emblematic references towards the political impact of the indigenous movement are made by the metalband Aztra and the hardcore band CURARE at the beginning of the 2000s, during the heyday of indigenous social protest against neoliberalism and for ethnic democratization. Today the music scene is quite diverse. The genre involves different styles including hardcore punk, metalcore, gothic metal, heavy metal, alternative rock, punk, ska, blues, and grunge.
Folk instruments
Cunuca: a percussion instrument similar to a conga drum
Bombos
Bandolin: a string instrument similar to a mandolin
Pinkillu: a wind instrument similar to a wooden recorder. Native to the Quichua people in the Napo province
Music institutions
The Fundación de Desarrollo Social Afroecuatoriano AZUCAR has existed since 1993, and offers a variety of workshops for all ages in music and dance, as well as handicrafts and other topics. More information can be found on their website here.
Music festivals
Ecuador has many annual festivals, with nearly every village celebrating a Roman Catholic Saint. The annual festival in August held in San Antonio de Pichincha is particularly well known, as is the independent music festival Quito Fest.
References
External links
Music from the Andes and Nearby Regions | wikipedia |
the corneal scar is responsible for 8% of the 1.3 million blind persons in nigeria .
most of these are end - stage scars of persisting , non - clearing , vascularized corneal edema from various forms of keratitis , including , viruses and bacteria like chlamydia , fungus , especially in rural uneducated farming population , and parasites like onchocerca volvulus that cause onchocerciasis , and physical as well as chemical agents . beyond the physical disability , pain , discomfort , and economic burden ; the disfiguring appearance of the eye causes a lot of psychological challenges , which in the traditional african setting may reduce the social values of the affected persons , especially when in the female gender .
keratitis of viral nature often tends to be recurrent and persistent because of the difficulty of total eradication of the viral gene from the host - infected cells .
these recurrent inflammations break down the corneal anti - neovasculogenesis mechanism with a resulting in - growth of capillaries , and in some cases , larger arterioles and feeder vessels .
the normal cornea is an avascular , alymphatic , and immunologically privileged tissue in at least its very center .
vascular invasion bridges this immune privilege , allowing the diffusion of immune and allergic mediators , including cytokines , immunoglobulins , vasoactive proteins , and lipids , as well as , cellular infiltrates into the cornea .
these mediators are capable of inducing increased vascular permeability in the normal vessels and inducing the growth of abnormal leaky vessels , with resulting edema in the surrounding corneal tissues .
the resultant effect of all of these changes is loss of corneal clarity , pain and redness in the short run , as well as lipid and other forms of corneal degeneration , scarring , calcification , and finally functional visual loss in the long run .
modalities that can rapidly stop the process of corneal edema will therefore be invaluable in preventing visual morbidity and blindness , with its consequent social and economic impact .
a 26-year - old male , unemployed person , presented to the ophthalmology clinic on 14 august , 2012 with a three - week history of blurring , soreness , lacrimation , redness , and pain in the left eye .
he had three similar attacks in the last three months , for which he was hospitalized .
he had lid edema , cilliary injection , a severely hazy central disciform corneal stromal edema on an old corneal scar , with lipid corneal degeneration , and multiple nummular keratitis at around the 1 oclock position of the left cornea .
the anterior chamber of the left eye did not show any cell or flare reaction .
the red reflex was poor due to the corneal haze , with no visible details of the fundus .
a diagnosis of secondary viral disciform and nummular keratitis was made and patient was put on oral and topical ointment of acyclovir together with a stat dose of cyclopentolate and antibiotics .
he was to be followed up in a week by which time a steroid was to be included in his therapy .
the patient did not show up until six weeks later when his visual acuity had deteriorated to counting finger in the left eye .
he complied with his last medical prescription for only the last two weeks to the date of his presentation .
a topical steroid was added to his other medications and he was to be reviewed in another one week . at the scheduled appointment
, he was subjectively fine and comfortable , his vision had improved to 6/24 in the left eye and the conjunctiva injection had subsided ; stromal edema had subsided in the superior cornea , and the nummular keratitis had disappeared . he had a prominent feeder vessel into an area of the thick corneal scar in the inferior aspect of the left cornea [ figure 1 ] , with surrounding non - clearing , corneal edema and lipid keratopathy in the inferior - nasal quadrant bordering on the visual axis [ figure 2 ] .
he had a deep anterior chamber , but the inferior iris and fundal details were not visible .
image of edematous scarred vascularized left cornea image of edematous scarred left cornea the relative quietness of the non - vascularized superior portion of the left cornea contrasted with the active edematous cornea area bordering on the feeder vessel in the inferior portion of the left cornea .
it was , therefore , hypothesized that this could be explained by vascular leakage and the inflammatory mediators from the supplying feeder vessel into the adjacent cornea area .
after the patient gave informed consent , he was put under a slit lamp microscope .
the upper eyelid was manually retracted by the examiners gloved fingers after topical anesthesia with amethocaine .
the cautery ballpoint was heated in a spirit lamp and the tip applied to about a 4 mm length of the sclera portion of the feeder vessel , to cauterize and separate the feeder vessel from the scarred and edematous portion of the inferonasal left cornea .
the procedure lasted for about four minutes without any complication and was well - tolerated by the patient .
the procedure was imaged pre- and post - intervention and the patient was given a stat dose of oral ibuprofen
image of the left eye , immediately post intervention five days post intervention , the patient felt well with no more pain and his vision had improved . on examination , visual acuity od remained 6/9 and os
there were conjunctival petechial hemorrhages in the area of the cautery and the intra - cornea feeder vessel had regressed [ figure 4 ] . on slit lamp examination ,
the corneal clearity had improved enough to allow easy visualization of the details of the inferior iris and a normal fundus , with c : d = 0.3 , a pink disc , normal macula , and a peripheral normal pink flat retina .
image five days post intervention this patient had achieved rapid corneal edema reversal with significant functional improvement and has remained so , via phone conversation , a month later .
this patient had progressive worsening of visual acuity from 6/24 to cf in the left eye despite two weeks usage of antiviral ointment of acyclovir , but had a reversal of visual deterioration from cf to 6/24 in the left eye upon one week 's institution of steroid .
this evidence supports the dependency of the pathology and its functional performance on immune mechanism , and therefore , the vessel that brings the mediators as a prospective target for immune modulation .
the concept of cauterization , embolization , and new vessel regression in control of abnormal blood flow , infective keratitis , enhanced corneal graft tolerance , control of a lipid keratopathy , and even metaplasia , is not new , and numerous agents have been produced to achieve these purposes .
some of these include fine needle diathermy , angiosclerotic agents , obliterative radiotherapy , laser therapy , thrombotic sponge , particles and microspheres , and in the eye , anti - vascular endothelial growth factor and steroids .
these vessels are usually microvessels that supply inaccessible parts of the body as opposed to prominent macrovessels ( pre - capillary arterioles ) seen in an accessible part of the cornea in this patient .
the size and location of the feeder vessel offered an opportunity for a cost - effective and feasible direct localized surgical cauterizing intervention , with wider diffuse corneal impact well away from the site of the burn .
following medical intervention with antiviral , antibiotic , and steroid , this patient showed a differential regression of tissue pathology , edema and functional improvement in the vascularized and non - vascularized portion of the cornea , with the vascularized portion lagging behind in the regression of cornea edema and transparency .
the rapid thinning out of the vascularized edematous cornea , assessed by the slit lamp beam , was well and beyond the change seen in the non - vascularized portion , coupled with a complete reversal of the relative thickness of the cornea in the vascularized and non - vascularized portions of the cornea following intervention gives a clue to the cause
although the patient had his first post intervention review in five days , the effect of edema regression was probably earlier , but was still adjudged rapid .
macrovascular cauterization is affordable , requires no expensive technology , and is feasible even in remote economically poor - resourced regions , as only magnification , a spirit lamp , and a cautery point were required .
episcleral and limbal cauterization is a routine procedure in cataract surgery and has not been associated with any significant adverse effect , when correctly applied .
this method of cauterization will , however , be more difficult to apply where the panni are multiple , microvascular , and more diffuse .
cornea vascularization with edema is an important theme in many important corneal diseases ; therapy can , therefore , achieve a wider application .
this case study has demonstrated the accelerated regression of corneal edema and functional corneal performance following cauterization of a cornea feeder vessel .
it is a safe , feasible , affordable , and accessible intervention to consider in difficult non - clearing corneal edema of selected patients .
we encourage further research on this , to confirm the efficacy of this intervention , as well as researches to develop the applicable intervention of a similar nature for diffuse micropannus diseases of the cornea . | pubmed |
concept of quantum computation by adiabatic evolution , i.e. adiabatic quantum computation ( aqc ) , was introduced by farhi and coauthors @xcite .
it is an alternative to the `` standard '' concept of quantum computation where one has to construct a universal set of gates with long coherence times . as the latter requirement is not easy to achieve in superconducting quantum bits ( qubits ) ,
presently the longest times achieved are of the order of several @xmath0 and only achieved at an optimal point @xcite , aqc seems to be better as the system is only required to stay in the ground state . this led kaminsky and co - authors to propose a scalable superconducting architecture for adiabatic quantum computation @xcite , where they make use of 3 josephson junction persistent current qubits @xcite . in the aqc concept
the solution of some non - polynomially ( np ) hard problem is encoded into the ground state of a complex multi - qubit hamiltonian @xmath1 .
the parameters of such a hamiltonian can be controlled continuously so in this sense this method is similar to _ analog _ computation .
the computation itself contains three majors steps : ( a ) preparation of the system in a well - known state with hamiltonian @xmath2 at time @xmath3 , ( b ) adiabatic evolution during the time interval @xmath4 towards the problem hamiltonian @xmath1 and ( c ) readout of the ground state of the problem hamiltonian , which gives the answer .
therefore , in order to build a quantum computer based on aqc one has to be able to construct a qubit system with a controllable hamiltonian and one has to be able to read out this system once the problem hamiltonian @xmath1 is encoded into it . .
the qubits are coupled to a resonant tank circuit for the readout .
the flux bias to the qubits is provided by a dc current @xmath5 applied to the coil @xmath6 and bias currents @xmath7 applied to additional bias wires , allowing full control over the individual qubits fluxes @xmath8 . in the case of more qubits ,
more current sources would be used.,title="fig:",width=302 ] + there has been an experimental implementation of an aqc algorithm in an nmr three - qubit quantum computer by steffen _ et al .
by using their computer they solve the so - called maxcut problem .
this problem is one of the non - polynomially hard problems of graph theory where the object of the problem is to find the maximal `` cut '' of a graph @xcite and is mathematically equivalent to finding the ground state of some ising - type hamiltonian .
some of the authors have proposed how to implement and readout such an algorithm making use of flux qubits in a setup like the one shown in fig.[setup ] @xcite . in this paper
we review our recently obtained results from coupled flux qubits using our and implemented method for their characterization .
also we will show some of our results on multi qubit systems .
in order to implement any protocol for quantum information processing , qubits should be coupled .
three josephson junction persistent current flux qubits @xcite can be coupled inductively just by placing them next to each other , however the achievable coupling strength is rather weak @xcite .
a larger coupling strength can be achieved by making use of the kinetic inductance of a common leg between them @xcite .
even stronger coupling can be achieved by inserting a josephson junction in this common leg @xcite .
the latter also provides the possibility of ferromagnetic coupling , whereas the other methods only provide anti - ferromagnetic coupling @xcite . by insertion of an additional coupler loop between the qubits
, one could realize controllable / switchable coupling between them @xcite .
this is particulary important for the realization of scalable superconducting architecture for aqc .
controllable coupling enables one to construct a hamiltonian where both the energy bias @xmath9 and the coupling terms @xmath10 can be set _ in - situ_. a coupled @xmath11-flux - qubit system can be described by the hamiltonian : @xmath12 + \sum_{i < j}j_{ij}\sigma_{z}^{(i)}\sigma_{z}^{(j)}.\ ] ] here @xmath13 is the tunneling amplitude , or half energy splitting , of qubit @xmath14 at @xmath15 and @xmath16 gives the energy bias applied to qubit @xmath14 in terms of its persistent current @xmath17 and the normalized flux bias @xmath18 ( @xmath19 is the flux quantum ) .
the symbols @xmath20 denote the pauli matrices of the _ i_-th qubit .
the coupling energy is given by : @xmath21 where @xmath22 represents both the magnetic inductance between qubits @xmath14 and @xmath23 , as well as the kinetic inductance of a common leg .
the second term describes the coupling due to an additional junction with critical current @xmath24 inserted in the common leg between both qubits .
the many - qubit system described by eq .
[ eq_h_q ] can be characterized by the set of eigenstates @xmath25 and eigenenergies @xmath26 which can be obtained from the solution of the equation : @xmath27 as an example the first two levels @xmath28 and @xmath29 are shown in fig .
[ energyafm ] for a two qubit system with anti - ferromagnetic coupling ( @xmath30 ) .
for the readout of the qubit system we use a high - quality lc resonator ( tank - circuit ) consisting of a superconducting coil with inductance @xmath6 in parallel with a capacitance @xmath31 @xcite . in order to analyze the response of such a tank to the qubits we have to consider the complete hamiltonian of the qubits system and readout resonator : @xmath32 , where @xmath33 is the hamiltonian of the driven tank circuit and @xmath34 the interaction term between tank and qubits . in principle , one should also add a term containing the dissipative interaction with the environment , which would result in line broadening , @xmath35 , of the many - qubit spectrum .
however , the measurements are performed at a resonator frequency @xmath36 which is much less than the energy spacings , @xmath37 , of the coupled qubits . under such non - resonant conditions
the effects of dissipation on the measurements are proportional to the small ratio @xmath38 , and can be neglected . the driven tank - circuit hamiltonian can be written in terms of the non - commuting current , @xmath39 and voltage , @xmath40 operators .
( here @xmath41_-= -i \hbar \omega_t^{~2 } , $ ] with @xmath42 the resonance frequency ) as : @xmath43 where @xmath44 is the driving current of the tank . the interaction term is given by @xmath45 with @xmath46 the magnetic flux through the tank loop created by all qubits , @xmath47 .
@xmath48 is the coupling parameter between the @xmath14-th qubit and the tank , which is proportional to the mutual inductance between qubit and the coil of the tank - cirquit @xmath49 and to the magnitude of the persistent current of the qubit . by using the heisenberg equations @xmath50_-$ ] and @xmath51_-$ ] we obtain the following equation for the averaged current and voltage in the lc - circuit : @xmath52 @xmath53 where the damping of the tank @xmath54 was added on an _ ad - hoc _ basis . the flux @xmath55 incorporates not only the flux @xmath46 which the qubits would apply without their interaction with the tank , but also includes the response due to the tank according to:@xmath56 _ - i_t(t_1).\ ] ] here we have used the following notations for the ( anti)commutator of two operators a and b : @xmath57_{\pm } = ab \pm ba,$ ] and the interaction picture .
eq . [ eq1_v_t ] has the solution @xmath58 with @xmath59 the phase shift of the voltage relative to the driving current . for the case of resonant driving , @xmath60 , the voltage - current phase shift
is determined by the sum , over all qubit combinations , of the real part of the qubit susceptibility @xmath61 : @xmath62 the many - qubit susceptibility at the frequency of the tank @xmath63 is calculated in the appendix [ suceptibility ] and results in : @xmath64 here @xmath65 denote the equilibrium occupation of the qubit energy eigenstates : @xmath66 .
a numerical calculation of the predicted response for a 2 qubit system is shown in fig .
[ afresponse ] . by comparing this with the energy diagram in fig .
[ energyafm ] it is seen that the predicted signal is largest close to the anticrossings where the ground state @xmath28 has the largest curvature due to the superposition of flux states . , @xmath67 , @xmath68 and j=300 mk.,title="fig:",width=226 ] + for an afm - coupled two qubit system .
the tank response is calculated for the same qubit parameters as used in fig .
[ energyafm ] .
the read - out parameters are @xmath69 nh , @xmath70 ph and @xmath71 with an effective temperature @xmath72 mk . , title="fig:",width=226 ] +
for our experiments we fabricate the qubit - system of interest inside a prefabricated superconducting planar coil made out of niobium on a si chip . this coil forms the tank - circuit together with an external capacitor @xcite . on the coil chip
there are also nb lines which allow the application of an asymmetric flux bias to the qubits . by applying a dc bias current @xmath5 through the tank and currents @xmath73 and @xmath74 ( in the 3 qubit example shown in fig . [ setup ] ,
[ aqcreadout]a ) through the lines we can separately change the magnetic flux in the qubits . for
more qubits one should add additional lines . as shown above
, measuring the shift of the resonance frequency allows one to read - out the total susceptibility of the qubit system .
therefore , the tank - circuit is driven with a current @xmath44 at a frequency @xmath75 close to the resonance frequency @xmath36 of the tank circuit .
the variation of the resonance frequency , due to the change in the susceptibility of the qubit system according to ( [ eq1_shift ] ) , can be measured by detecting the phase shift @xmath76 between the @xmath77-current @xmath78 applied through the coil and @xmath77voltage over the tank circuit .
this is realized by using the setup shown in fig .
[ setup ] .
the voltage across the tank circuit is amplified by a cold hemt - based amplifier followed by a room temperature amplifier .
the phase shift @xmath59 is measured using a lock - in amplifier with part of the signal which is used to bias the qubit used as a reference . in the simplest case - one qubit at low temperature @xmath79
, @xmath80 is proportional ( through the mutual inductance ) to the persistent current @xmath81 flowing in the qubit system . since a qubit is in the ground state @xmath28 the current @xmath81 is proportional to @xmath82 . by taking into account eq .
[ eq1_v_t ] it can be easily shown that a shift of the tank resonant frequency due the tank - qubit interaction ( and , therefore , @xmath83 or @xmath84 ) is proportional to the ground state curvature @xmath85 . because the ground state curvature is maximal near the anticrossing , the output signal as a function of the applied magnetic flux undergoes a narrow dip @xcite at @xmath86 . from the shape of the dip
the one - qubit hamiltonian can be reconstructed by making use of the following equations @xcite : @xmath87 @xmath88 at higher temperatures one can fit the dip directly to the theory as given by eqs .
( [ eq1_shift ] ) and ( [ eq2_shift ] ) . by properly biasing a multi qubit system one can use this single qubit reconstruction procedure for a multi qubit system .
the bias to such an @xmath11 qubit system is applied as follows : for @xmath89 qubits @xmath90 and @xmath91 for any @xmath23 .
then the @xmath13 in eq .
( [ eq_h_q ] ) for @xmath89 qubits and also the interaction between all qubits can be neglected .
doing so reduces eq .
( [ eq_h_q ] ) to the hamiltonian of a single qubit .
the @xmath89 qubits far from their degeneracy points can be considered as conventional classical magnetic moments and their influence on the nth qubit provides an additional bias @xmath92 only .
the resulting hamiltonian is @xmath93 therefore , from measurements described above , and by making use of eqs .
( [ dip1 ] ) , ( [ dip2 ] ) , the persistent current @xmath94 as well as @xmath95 can be determined . by repeating this procedure for the other qubits
we can find their parameters . in order to complete the determination of the parameters of @xmath96
the coupling energies @xmath10 must be obtained .
they can be obtained from the shift of the qubit dips relative to the common degeneracy point .
this can be seen in the numerically calculated energy levels and qubit response in figs .
[ energyafm ] and [ afresponse ] . for low @xmath97 and small @xmath13 , the locations of the dips in @xmath98 , due to anti - crossings , simply follow the separation lines between the different classical states in the classical stability diagram . due to this
the state of the two - qubit system can be easily reconstructed . moreover
, the coupling energy follows directly from this stability diagram .
for instance , the transition @xmath99 occurs at @xmath100 .
therefore , one can easily show that the coupling energy follows from @xmath101 . in fig .
[ 2q30mk ] we show some quite recent results from a 2 qubit system measured with an improved setup .
the qubits in this sample are coupled by a common josephson junction as in ref .
this allows one to design the coupling strength over a wider range and than with inductive coupling only . by using the procedure described above all parameters of the hamiltonian , eq .
[ eq_h_q ] , were found from the experimental data .
the mutual inductances @xmath102 between the coil and qubits were determined from the periodicity of the qubit signal from a scan over multiple @xmath19 .
the mutual inductances between the bias lines and qubits followed from the slope of the qubit lines in fig .
[ 2q30mk]a .
these mutual inductances can be used to calculate the energy biases @xmath9 and , therefore , for the prediction of the response of the tank from the theory of sec .
[ sec : theory ] .
this prediction is shown shown in fig .
[ 2q30mk]b .
the good agreement between experimental data and the theoretical prediction confirms the systems effective temperature of about 30 mk which also followed from the fit . for afm - coupled qubits measured at the mixing chamber temperature of 10 mk .
( b ) theoretical fit for an effective temperature @xmath103 mk and for the sample parameters @xmath104 ( all in mk ) and @xmath105 na , @xmath106 na.,title="fig:",width=226 ] for afm - coupled qubits measured at the mixing chamber temperature of 10 mk .
( b ) theoretical fit for an effective temperature @xmath103 mk and for the sample parameters @xmath104 ( all in mk ) and @xmath105 na , @xmath106 na.,title="fig:",width=226 ] +
k. @xmath107 k , @xmath108 k , and @xmath109 k. @xmath110 is a global minimum , while @xmath111 is a local one.,title="fig:",width=226 ] + at @xmath112 . the tank s response is calculated for @xmath113 mk , @xmath114 mk , @xmath115 na , @xmath116 na , and @xmath117 mk .
the white dashed lines denote the cross - overs between the different classical states . at the white dot
@xmath118 the maxcut problem with the solution @xmath110 is encoded , see fig .
[ aqchyst ] .
the solid arrows show the directions in which the read - out should be carried out in order to reconstruct this state.,title="fig:",width=226 ] + in this section we review the aqc - algorithm for the solution of the maxcut problem .
in particular we discuss a possible demonstration of aqc by making use of a system composed of three coupled flux - qubits using a resonant tank circuit for the readout . since the hamiltonian of eq .
( [ eq_h_q ] ) is similar to an ising hamiltonian at @xmath119 it encodes the maxcut of a 3 vertex graph if @xmath120 @xcite .
the simplest non - trivial case is a three - qubit system as shown in fig .
[ setup ] , for example with the following qubit parameters : @xmath113 mk , @xmath114 mk , @xmath115 na and @xmath116 na .
if this system is allowed to adiabatically evolve to the qubit energy biases @xmath121 k , @xmath122 k , and @xmath123 k , it will encode a maxcut problem with a solution given by the state @xmath110 .
this can be seen in fig .
[ aqchyst ] where the energies of all flux - states for the hamiltonian of eq.([eq_h_q ] ) with all @xmath119 , @xmath10 and @xmath124 as given above have been depicted .
this system also exhibits a local minimum @xmath111 , two spin - flips away from the global minimum , this makes it an interesting test system for aqc .
if a violation of the adiabatic evolution criterium occurs , the system can be found in this local minimum instead of the global one .
this can be due to either thermal excitations during the readout or landau - zener transitions caused by a too high readout speed
. therefore one should optimize this readout speed depending on the energy gap in order to obtain optimal results .
the tank circuit response @xmath125 predicted by eqs .
( [ eq1_shift ] ) and ( [ eq2_shift ] ) for a fixed value @xmath112 is shown in fig .
[ aqcreadoutth ] .
the white dashed lines denote the cross - overs between the different classical ( @xmath119 ) states , which are marked in the figure by the state vectors @xmath111 , @xmath126 , @xmath127 and @xmath110 .
the main feature of the tank s response is that it restores the classical cross - overs .
this fact can be used for reading out the state of the qubits at any flux point . in the case of fig .
[ aqcreadoutth ] we want to know the qubits configuration at @xmath128 , because this point encodes the solution of the maxcut problem that we are interested in .
therefore , if we perform the measurement of the qubits susceptibility in the directions marked by solid arrows in fig . [ aqcreadoutth ] , a _
peak _ structure will appear either to the left , or the right side of @xmath128 in each flux direction .
this allows the establishment of the following criterium : if the peak appears to the right(left ) side of the starting point when we scan the flux @xmath129 through the qubit @xmath14 , the starting point corresponds to the classical state @xmath130 .
therefore , one can easily check that @xmath131 corresponds to the @xmath110 state if all @xmath119 ( for finding @xmath132 one would need another figure _ e.g. _ the @xmath133 plane at a fixed value of @xmath134 ) . at @xmath135 , measured at @xmath136 mk .
( c ) predicted response for @xmath137 mk , @xmath138 mk , @xmath139 na , @xmath140 na , and @xmath141 mk .
( d ) difference between the ground and first excited states . for ( c ) and
( d ) the black dashed lines denote the cross - overs between the different classical states.,title="fig:",width=188 ] + at @xmath135 , measured at @xmath136 mk .
( c ) predicted response for @xmath137 mk , @xmath138 mk , @xmath139 na , @xmath140 na , and @xmath141 mk .
( d ) difference between the ground and first excited states .
for ( c ) and ( d ) the black dashed lines denote the cross - overs between the different classical states.,title="fig:",width=226 ] + as a first step towards the demonstration of aqc we measured the full three - dimensional susceptibility of three anti - ferromagnetically coupled qubits @xcite . for this purpose
we fabricated a sample with the layout of fig .
[ setup ] and measured it in our setup at a base temperature of 10 mk .
figure [ aqcreadout]a shows a micrograph of the sample : three al persistent current qubits are fabricated inside a nb pancake coil .
two junctions in each qubit are nominally @xmath142 nm@xmath143 , while a third one is @xmath14435% smaller .
each qubit is coupled to the other two both magnetically and via shared @xmath145 nm@xmath143 junctions .
the flux through the qubits is controlled by direct currents through the coil @xmath146 , and two additional lines @xmath147 and @xmath148 ( the third line was not used during the experiment ) . the nb coil has an inductance @xmath149 nh , and together with an external capacitance @xmath150 pf forms a parallel tank circuit with @xmath151 mhz and quality @xmath152 .
the qubit - coil mutual inductances were extracted from the @xmath19 periodicity of the @xmath153-susceptibility of the individual qubits as @xmath154 ph and @xmath155 ph , @xmath156 ph . the mutual inductances between all qubits and biasing wires were found from two scans @xmath157 , see ref .
@xcite . fig .
[ aqcreadout]b shows @xmath125 at @xmath135 , while fig .
[ aqcreadout]c is the theoretical prediction for @xmath137 mk , @xmath138 mk , @xmath139 na , @xmath140 na , and @xmath72 mk .
the experimental and theoretical data are found to be in good agreement in the full three - dimensional flux space ( other data for @xmath158 can be found in @xcite ) .
however , for this sample not all classical cross - overs could be reconstructed .
the narrow lines in the upper right quadrant of fig .
[ aqcreadout]bc are absent .
there are two main reasons for this : firstly the difference between the ground and first excited state ( @xmath159 mk ) along these measured lines is small ( see fig.[aqcreadout]d ) in comparison with the effective temperature @xmath72 mk for this measurements .
secondly all qubits persistent currents ( or magnetic moments ) are similar , therefore there is no significant _ magnetization _ change along the transitions @xmath160 and @xmath111 @xmath161 , thus there is no susceptibility change and no phase shift . in order to observe these lines
, one could make a sample with different persistent currents , increase the gap between the ground and first excited states , or decrease the system s effective temperature . for the latter approach we already made some progress because for our improved experimental setup , see fig.[2q30mk ]
, we have reached an effective temperature @xmath162 mk .
the next steps for aqc will be a improving the readout speed , the demonstration of the real adiabatic evolution / computation and demonstration of its efficiency in comparison with the classical simulated annealing .
this review is concluded by answering some general questions that we have been often asked .
the first question is whether it is possible to realize aqc with coupled classical magnetic moments ? or in other words : do we need quantum mechanics for an aqc implementation ?
in the quantum system there is an energy gap between the ground and the first exited states , thus the qubit system can evolve always staying in the ground state .
a system without level- anticrossings exhibits many metastable states , so that evolution in the ground state is not possible . as the qubits stability diagrams , shown in figs .
[ afresponse ] , [ aqcreadoutth ] are the same as would be is expected for coupled classical magnetic moments , where is the proof that the system described above behaves quantum mechanically ? in the classical limit the persistent current `` qubits '' have a magnetic hysteresis for any finite qubit s inductance .
this hysteresis was observed by making use of our method @xcite . in this work instead of hysteresis we observed a narrow dip , which reflects the level anticrossing due to quantum tunneling .
therefore , there is a nonzero gap between the ground and the first exited state which allows aqc .
the stability of aqc against external noise , to our knowledge , is not known .
on one hand , since we do not use any coherent oscillations , aqc should not be very sensitive to the environment .
on the other hand , external noise can change the hamiltonian itself and , therefore , its ground state .
this issue requires further study . in the present work we discussed our approach for demonstrating an adiabatic quantum algorithm by making use of a coupled flux - qubit system . by making use of a low - frequency resonator inductively
coupled to the qubits we can completely reconstruct the parameters of a multi - qubit system .
this multi - qubit ground state anticrossings read - out can be currently performed at an effective temperature of 30 mk .
the experimental data are found to be in complete agreement with quantum mechanical predictions .
we have reconstructed the susceptibility of three coupled flux qubits in full parameter space .
the next steps towards aqc will be improvement of the read - out speed and the demonstration of adiabatic quantum computation and its efficiency .
[ suceptibility ] starting from the first order approximation of the total flux given in the main text ( eq . [ eq2_phi_tot ] ) we can write out the commutator as a sum of the qubit response functions @xmath163 : @xmath164_-\rangle \theta(t - t_1 ) = \sum_{ij } \lambda_i \lambda_j \varphi_{ij}(t , t_1).\ ] ] with @xmath165_-\rangle \theta(t - t_1),\ ] ] where we introduced the heaviside step function : @xmath166 if @xmath167 and @xmath168 when @xmath169 for small values of the tank current and voltage the derivative of the total qubit flux is given by the expression @xmath170 putting this into eq .
( [ eq1_v_t ] ) results in a shift of the resonant frequency of the tank which is proportional to the susceptibility and is just the fourier transform of the response function : @xmath171 this shift in the resonance frequency causes the phase shift when the tank is driven with its unloaded resonance frequency @xmath36 according to eq .
( [ eq1_shift ] ) . in order to calculate the linear response functions @xmath172 ( eq . ( [ eq2_resp_qub ] ) ) we have to find the product of two projections of pauli matrices taken at times @xmath173 and @xmath174 @xmath175 and the equilibrium distribution @xmath176 . as a result
we obtain the expression @xmath177 for the linear response functions @xmath172 ( [ eq1_resp ] ) . which give after fourier transformation : @xmath178 by taking into account that the resonant frequency of the tank is much smaller than the level spacing and , therefore ,
can be neglected eq .
( [ eq2_shift ] ) of the main text is generated .
we thank d. v. averin , a. blais , a. shnirman , e. goldobin , ya .
s. greenberg , r. gross , h. e. hoenig , yu .
a. pashkin , m. j. storcz , f. k. wilhelm and a. zeilinger for fruitful discussions .
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lett _ , vol .
95 , no .
25 , pp . 257002 , 2005 .
a. izmalkov , m. grajcar , e. ilichev , t. wagner , h .-
meyer , a. y. smirnov , m. h. s. amin , a. m. van den brink , and a. m. zagoskin , `` evidence for entangled states of two coupled flux qubits , '' _ phys .
lett _ , vol .
93 , pp . 037003 , 2004 .
m. grajcar , a. izmalkov , s. h. w. van der ploeg , s. linzen , e. ilichev , t. wagner , u. hubner , h .-
meyer , a. maassen van den brink , s. uchaikin , and a. m. zagoskin , `` experimental realization of direct josephson coupling between superconducting flux qubits , '' _ phys .
b _ , vol . 72 , no . 2 , pp .
020503 , 2005 .
s. h. w. van der ploeg , a. izmalkov , a. maassen van den brink , u. hbner , m. grajcar , e. ilichev , h .-
meyer , and a. m. zagoskin , `` controllable coupling of superconducting flux qubits , '' _ phys .
lett _ , vol .
98 , no . 5 , pp . 057004 , 2007 .
e. ilichev , a. y. smirnov , m. grajcar , a. izmalkov , d. born , n. oukhanski , t. wagner , w. krech , h .-
meyer , and a. zagoskin , `` radio - frequency method for investigation of quantum properties of superconducting structures , '' _ fiz .
_ , vol . 30 , no . 30 , pp .
823833 , 2004 .
t. may , e. ilichev , h .-
meyer , and m. grajcar , `` microfabricated oscillator for radio - frequency microscopy with integrated magnetic field concentrator , '' _ rev .
_ , vol .
74 , no . 3 , pp .
12821284 , 2003 .
y. s. greenberg , a. izmalkov , m. grajcar , e. ilichev , w. krech , h .-
meyer , m. h. s. amin , and a. maassen van den brink , `` low - frequency characterization of quantum tunneling in flux qubits , '' _ phys .
b _ , vol . 66 , no . 21 , pp . 214525 , 2002 .
a. izmalkov , m. grajcar , s. h. w. van der ploeg , u. hbner , e. ilichev , h .-
meyer , and a. m. zagoskin , `` measurement of the ground - state flux diagram of three coupled qubits as a first step towards the demonstration of adiabatic quantum computation , '' _ europhys .
_ , vol .
76 , no . 3 , pp .
533539 , 2006 .
e. ilichev , th .
wagner , l. fritzsch , j. kunert , v. schultze , t. may , h. e. hoenig , h. g. meyer , m. grajcar , d. born , w. krech m. v. fistul a. m. zagoskin , `` characterization of superconducting structures designed for qubit realizations , '' _ appl .
lett _ , vol .
80 , pp . 4184 - 4186 , 2002 | arxiv |
after decades of extensive study , understanding the confinement of quarks and gluons in hadrons still is one of the great challenges in hadronic physics . to uncover its nature , hadronic reactions in a nuclear medium , either cold or hot ,
are studied .
typical examples are the measurements of hadron production on nuclear targets in semi - inclusive deep - inelastic scattering of leptons @xcite and the jet - quenching and parton energy - loss phenomena observed in ultra - relativistic heavy - ion collisions @xcite . in each case
hadron yields are observed that are different from those observed in the corresponding reactions on free nucleons .
the process that leads from the partons produced in the elementary interaction to the hadrons observed experimentally is commonly referred to as hadronization or fragmentation . according to theoretical estimates the hadronization process occurs over length scales varying from less than a femtometer to several tens of femtometers . at these
length scales the magnitude of the strong coupling constant is such that perturbative techniques can not be applied .
hence , hadronization is an intrinsically non - perturbative qcd process , for which only approximate theoretical approaches are presently available .
experimental data are vital for supporting these theoretical developments , since they can be used to gauge or guide the calculations . the hadronization process in free space has been studied extensively in @xmath18 annihilation experiments @xcite . as a result the spectra of particles produced and
their kinematic dependences are rather well known .
however , little is known about the space - time evolution of the process .
semi - inclusive production of hadrons in deep - inelastic scattering of leptons from atomic nuclei provides a way to investigate this space - time development .
leptoproduction of hadrons has the virtue that the energy and the momentum of the struck parton are well determined , as they are tagged by the scattered lepton . by using nuclei of increasing size
one can investigate the time development of hadronization .
if hadronization occurs quickly , i.e. , if the hadrons are produced at small distances compared to the size of atomic nuclei , the relevant interactions in the nuclear environment involve well - known hadronic cross sections such as the ones for pion - nucleon interactions .
if , in contrast , hadronization occurs over large distances , the relevant interactions are partonic and involve the emission of gluons and quark - antiquark pairs .
the two mechanisms lead to different predictions for the decrease in hadron yield , known as attenuation , on nuclei as compared to that on free nucleons .
most likely , a combination of these two mechanisms contributes to the observed attenuation of hadron yields on nuclei .
this expectation has led to a range of phenomenological approaches , which are briefly summarized in the next section .
the available calculations cover a range of possible mechanisms ( partonic energy loss or hadronic absorption ) and time ( length ) scales ( from less than 1 fm to more than 10 fm ) , which results in different dependences on the various kinematic variables . in order to distinguish between these calculations precise hadron attenuation data
are needed as a function of several kinematic variables for a range of nuclei and for several hadron types .
exploratory measurements were first performed at slac @xcite and later by the emc @xcite and e665 @xcite collaborations .
more recently many more data have been collected by the hermes collaboration at desy and the clas collaboration at the thomas jefferson national accelerator facility @xcite .
some of the hermes data have been published already @xcite .
the clas data are presently being analysed @xcite . in this paper
we present the full results from hermes on the multiplicities for the production of pions , kaons , protons , and antiprotons on helium , neon , krypton , and xenon targets relative to those for deuterium .
it goes beyond the scope of the present paper to compare the data to the available theoretical calculations . instead
, prominent features of the data are identified and used to address two key issues in the study of hadronization : ( i ) what are the time or length scales of the process , and ( ii ) what are the mechanisms that lead to nuclear attenuation ? the paper is organized as follows . in section [ sec : theory ] the theoretical framework is described , and some representative theoretical models are summarized . in section [ sec : exper ] those aspects of the hermes experiment that are relevant to the present measurements are presented . in section [ sec : anal ] the data analysis is discussed , including the corrections to the raw data and the systematic uncertainties . the results for the attenuation as a function of various kinematic variables are presented and discussed in section [ sec : res ] .
this section has several subsections in which the features of the data , especially those related to the relevant time scales and mechanisms , and the @xmath0-dependence , are discussed separately .
the results are summarized in the last section , which also lists the conclusions .
in order to put the experimental results into perspective , in this section the concepts that are used in the study of hadronization are presented , and models that have been developed to describe the experimental results are briefly discussed .
it is emphasized that the latter is meant only to illustrate potential interpretations of the data .
the experimental data and the features that they exhibit are the genuine subject .
the hadronization process in a nuclear medium can be studied by means of semi - inclusive deep - inelastic scattering ( sidis ) of electrons or positrons from nuclei . for that purpose the multiplicity ratio @xmath19
is introduced , which is defined as the ratio of the number of hadrons @xmath13 produced per deep - inelastic scattering ( dis ) event on a nuclear target with mass number @xmath0 to that for a deuterium ( d ) target .
figure [ kinematicplot ] illustrates the definition of the relevant lepton and hadron kinematic variables .
the ratio @xmath20 depends on the leptonic variables @xmath9 , the energy of the virtual photon , and @xmath11 , the negative of the four - momentum of the virtual photon squared , and on the hadronic variables @xmath21 , the fraction of the virtual - photon energy carried by the hadron , and @xmath12 , the square of the hadron momentum component transverse to the direction of the virtual photon . thus @xmath20 can be written as : @xmath22 with @xmath23 the number of semi - inclusive hadrons at given @xmath24 , and @xmath25 the number of inclusive dis leptons at @xmath26 .
implicit in this definition is the integration over the angle @xmath27 between the lepton scattering plane and the hadron production plane ( see fig .
[ kinematicplot ] ) .
experiments at large values of @xmath9 @xcite give values @xmath28 within the experimental uncertainty .
this is interpreted as an indication that nuclear effects are negligible in that region . at lower values of @xmath9
the value of @xmath20 has been found to be well below unity @xcite . even though hadronization is not
yet quantitatively understood , it is generally assumed that the following processes play a role in leptoproduction of hadrons .
after a quark in a nucleon has absorbed the virtual photon , it can lose energy by scattering from other quarks and by radiating gluons . as a result the value of @xmath1 may be influenced .
a change in @xmath1 can also result from the quark in a nucleus having a different distribution function as a result of partonic rescaling .
these two effects will be called partonic mechanisms . after a certain time a colourless object , called a prehadron , is formed , which has the quantum numbers of the final hadron , but not yet its full wave function .
the concept of colour transparency @xcite is closely related to this .
the prehadron then evolves over some time into the physical hadron . in the lund model
@xcite the process of ( pre)hadron formation is described as the building of a colour field ( string ) between the struck quark and the residual system . the string gets stretched and breaks into smaller pieces , each with an ( anti-)quark at both ends .
the lund model gives predictions ( see , e.g. , ref .
@xcite ) for the time @xmath29 , and the corresponding ( constituent or formation ) length @xmath30 , that it takes for the prehadron to be formed , and the time @xmath31 required for the final physical hadron to be formed . ) is used for what is often called the prehadron ( or constituent ) formation length , and hadron formation length ( @xmath32 ) for the hadron ( or yo - yo ) formation length ( see , e.g. , refs .
@xcite ) . ] the average value of the formation length @xmath30 , denoted by @xmath15 , is given in the lund model by @xmath33 where @xmath34 is a function that goes as @xmath35 for large values of @xmath10 ( this behaviour is also found in other models , and is due to the fact that in the limit @xmath36 the struck quark can not have lost any energy when producing the final hadron ) , and has a broad maximum of about 0.4 around @xmath37 .
the quantity @xmath38 is the string tension , which reflects the energy loss of the leading quark per unit length , usually taken as @xmath39 gev / fm .
thus , at values of @xmath9 of @xmath40 gev , the prehadron formation takes place over distances of about @xmath41 fm , comparable to the size of a nucleus .
the values of @xmath32 are larger than @xmath30 , so the final hadron is often formed outside the nucleus .
if the ( pre)hadron is formed inside the nucleus , it can experience hadronic interactions , generally called final - state interactions ( fsi ) . for discussing the effects of these , we will not discriminate between prehadrons and hadrons , and just talk about hadrons and hadronic effects , although the relevant cross sections may be different for hadrons and prehadrons .
the first effect of fsi may be the rescattering of the hadron from the nucleons in the nucleus , the hadron losing energy and possibly generating other , mainly low energy , hadrons ( if these are mesons , the word generate can be taken literally ; if these are nucleons , generated means that they are now in a continuum state ) .
the effect is thus a loss of hadrons at a given value of @xmath10 , and an increase of the same hadron , but possibly also of other hadrons , at lower @xmath10 .
another effect of fsi can be that the original hadron is absorbed .
this is usually accompanied by the emission of other , again mainly low - energy , hadrons .
so also in this case there is a loss of hadrons at given @xmath10 , and an increase of other hadrons at lower @xmath10 . for a full description of all these effects
, coupled - channel calculations should be performed .
however , since these are rather complicated , in models usually only absorption is considered .
clearly this neglects the generation of hadrons at lower values of @xmath10 . the change from partonic mechanisms to hadronic mechanisms , which depends on the formation length relative to the size of the nucleus , influences @xmath1 .
thus the use of various nuclear targets allows one to investigate the space - time development of the hadronization process . at present , reliable qcd calculations of quark hadronization ( fragmentation )
can not yet be performed because of the major role of soft , i.e. , non - perturbative processes .
for that reason various types of models have been developed .
phenomenological models @xcite use formation times / lengths and absorption cross sections for the various hadrons in the nuclear medium .
various formulae for the formation lengths have been used , and in the more advanced versions two length scales , @xmath30 and @xmath32 , are distinguished , as well as different absorption cross sections for the quark , the prehadron , and the final hadron .
the absorption cross sections are usually adjusted to obtain the best description of the @xmath9- and @xmath10-dependence of the experimental data .
other ( qcd - inspired ) models focus on the energy loss that the struck quark experiences in the nuclear environment @xcite . in refs . @xcite twist-4 contributions to the fragmentation functions resulting from multiple scattering and gluon bremsstrahlung in a nuclear medium are calculated .
a nuclear attenuation proportional to @xmath42 is predicted , where the power @xmath43 results from the coherence of the gluon radiation process @xcite , which gives an induced radiative energy loss of a quark traversing a length @xmath44 of matter proportional to @xmath45 @xcite .
no hadron absorption is included , as it is assumed that the hadron is formed outside the nucleus .
the effect of a finite formation length is included in ref .
@xcite , in which fragmentation functions are calculated that are again modified due to partonic energy loss in the nuclear medium during the time @xmath29 . by using the quark energy loss determined from drell - yan data , a reasonable agreement with existing data is found . in order to keep the approach as simple as possible , absorption of the produced ( pre)hadron is not taken into account .
another class of models includes ( pre)hadron absorption , with or without a description of what happens in the hadronization process . in ref .
@xcite @xmath1 is described in terms of medium - modified fragmentation functions supplemented by nuclear absorption .
a parton - rescaling model that has also been used to describe the emc effect is used to describe the nuclear modification of the fragmentation functions .
the ( average ) formation length is taken from the lund model @xcite .
@xcite calculates the nuclear attenuation of the ( leading ) hadron with @xmath46 by including as major ingredients the formation length @xmath30 and an absorption cross section of the prehadron .
the effect of quark energy loss is found to be small . in ref .
@xcite the hadron attenuation is investigated within the framework of the boltzmann - uehling - uhlenbeck transport model . since this is a coupled - channel approach ,
hadrons are not only absorbed , but can also be produced .
some choices for the formation time @xmath29 , including taking it to be zero , are studied .
the theoretical calculations have been compared to the data from refs .
notwithstanding their different and sometimes orthogonal ingredients , all models reproduce the global features of the data . in the case of the @xmath9-dependence , which is best described , the reason may be that the decreasing attenuation with increasing value of @xmath9 is largely due to a simple increase of the formation time @xmath29 with @xmath9 in the target rest frame due to lorentz dilatation .
the dependence of @xmath1 on @xmath10 and @xmath0 , which in general is less well described , may be more discriminating , especially when more detailed data are available .
the measurements were performed with the hermes spectrometer @xcite using a 27.6 gev positron or electron beam stored in the hera ring at desy .
some data were collected using a 12.0 gev positron beam @xcite , but since the amount of data was much less and only pions or all hadrons were identified , they are not included here .
typical beam currents were 40 ma down to 5 ma .
the spectrometer consists of two mirror - symmetric halves , located above and below the lepton beam pipe .
a flux - exclusion plate in the midplane of the magnet prevents deflection of the lepton ( and proton ) beams passing through the center of the spectrometer .
the scattered leptons and the produced hadrons were detected within an angular acceptance of @xmath47 170 mrad horizontally and @xmath47 ( 40 140 ) mrad vertically .
the lepton trigger was formed by a coincidence between signals from three scintillator hodoscope planes and a lead - glass calorimeter .
a minimum energy deposit in the latter of 3.5 gev ( 1.4 gev ) for unpolarized ( polarized ) target runs was required .
the data were collected during the years 1999 , 2000 , 2004 , and 2005 , using unpolarized nuclear ( he , ne , kr , xe ) and polarized or unpolarized deuterium ( d ) gaseous targets internal to the storage ring ( see table [ tab : table1 ] ) . in 1997 also data on nitrogen were taken , but since at that time the rich detector ( see below ) was not yet available , only data for pions and all hadrons together could be presented @xcite .
therefore these data are not included here .
the yields from polarized deuterium were summed over the two spin orientations .
the target gases were injected into a 40 cm long tubular open - ended storage cell . using an unpolarized gas feed system @xcite it is possible to provide d , he , n , ne , kr , or xe targets with relatively high areal densities ( between 10@xmath48 and 10@xmath49 nucleons/@xmath50 ) , resulting in luminosities ranging from 10@xmath51 to 10@xmath52@xmath53s@xmath54 .
such high - density runs were taken at the end of hera fills , with typical currents of 15 to 5 ma and beam lifetimes of one hour .
this made it possible to accumulate the data for these targets in only a few days of integrated beam time .
the luminosity was measured using elastic scattering of the beam particles from the electrons in the target gas : bhabha scattering for a positron beam , mller scattering for an electron beam @xcite . | arxiv |
clofazimine is now an established component of multi - drug treatment ( mdt ) for leprosy .
the first report of gastrointestinal toxicity of this drug was published by atkinson et al.,in 1967 .
it was a case of a 19-year - old male treated for leprosy by clofazimine at a dose of 600 mg per day .
the patient experienced epigastric distress with occasional vomiting unrelated to meals , intermittent abdominal pain , mal - absorption , and rebound tenderness .
the radiological abnormalities revealed coarsening of the mucosal pattern and segmentation of barium in the ileum and distal jejunum .
biopsy of jejunum demonstrated red crystals in the lamina propria accompanied by a moderate number of plasma cells .
so far , similar cases confirmed by histological findings of clofazimine crystals and/or radiological abnormalities have been reported.[35 ] these reports emphasized the importance of recognizing this condition to avoid misdiagnosed laparotomy . in this report , we present the case of clofazimine - induced enteropathy in a leprosy patient with a probable association with the drug as per the world health organization ( who ) causality assessment scale and naranjo 's causality assessment scale .
a 19-year - old tribal male patient was diagnosed with multibacillary leprosy , for which he was taking mdt for the last 8 months .
he was under regular follow - up in the department of dermatology at government medical college , jagdalpur , chhattisgarh .
he presented with 1 week history of abdominal pain which was described as periumbilical , dull - aching pain without any referred pain .
the pain was recently aggravating , dull - aching , intermittent , lasting for hours , tended to occur during the night , not related to food intake and was not relieved by prescribing a proton pump inhibitor or antacid .
patient was then referred to surgical unit , where physical findings revealed few enlarged lymph nodes at the left cervical region and mild tenderness at the umbilical region without guarding or stiffness .
the serology test for human immunodeficiency virus ( hiv ) infection and syphilis were negative . to exclude peptic ulcer disease , urease
few crystal - storing ( red colored ) histiocyte was detected in the lamina propria of the duodenum , but several crystal - storing histiocyte were observed in the lamina propria of the jejunum [ figure 1 ] .
several crystal - storing histiocytes ( arrows ) were observed in the lamina propria of the jejunum the patient 's illness history revealed that he had lepra-2 reaction [ erythema nodosumleprosum ( enl ) ] during mdt course for which he was prescribed clofazimine in high dose ; that is 100 mg thrice a day for 1 month ; later 100 mg twice a day for next 15 days with additional appropriate corticosteroid and then regular mdt treatment was continued .
after a brief text search , it was concluded that these crystals represented clofazimine crystals , and the afore mentioned clinical , radiographic , and pathologic descriptions were characteristic of clofazimineenteropathy.[24 ] all clinical and lab data indicated that clofazimine was the reason for sudden onset of pain abdomen . the offending drug was stopped with appropriate alternative regimens .
in the dose employed for mdt clofazimine is well tolerated , but enteritis commonly occurs with higher doses used to treat lepra reaction .
this case history and other relevant data revealed that patient had taken clofazimine in high dose for the treatment of lepra reaction . on brief literature search it was found that clofazimine caninduce three types of enteropathy : eosinophilic / allergic pattern , a crohn 's disease - like pattern with granulomas and clofazimine - induced crystal - storing histiocytois . in the present case
both dapsone and rifampicin do not have an obvious association with enteropathy . according to hartwig scale ,
the case was categorized as severe and preventability of the case was probable as per modified schumock and thorton scale .
the causality assessment of clofazimine - induced enteropathy with clofazimine using naranjo 's causality assessment scale showed a score of 7 .
who uppsala monitoring centre ( umc ) causality assessment criteria also indicated a probable association . in summary , this is an unusual case of clofazimineenteropathy presenting as clofazimine - induced crystal storing histiocytosis based on the unique pathologic findings .
this drug is useful not only in the treatment of leprosy and some dermatologic disorders , but also in treatment of mycobacterium avium complex infection in patients with hiv infection .
prescribers should be aware of this adverse effect of clofazimine to provide appropriate patient management , to avoid unnecessary exploratory laparotomy . | pubmed |
The elements of then program are the same every conference, but may take place at different times each year. To give you an impression of the placement of the elements in the timetable of the conference we share with you the 2015 programme.
Each morning we offer the opportunity for a few moments together to prepare for the day. Each faith takes it in turn to offer an opening thought for the particular day, following which there is a shared silence. Please be punctual for the start of the meditation and do not enter once the door is closed as the latecomers disturb the silence.
The Team distributes participants in discussion groups on the basis of information from the application forms and previous participation. We try to ensure that all three faiths are present and that the group has people who can facilitate the discussion and help translate. No one should feel they are meant to "represent" their faith but rather speak out of personal experience. Some guidelines for the discussion are provided by the facilitators. It is helpful to the group process if participants remain in the same group throughout the week, however it is possible to change once after the first session, but please consult with the team.
The JCM conference explores the topic through a variety of alternative ways of communication: art, drama, text study, etc. Participants are invited to choose one of these groups that will meet during the week led by people with experience in their field. It is helpful to the group process if participants remain in the same group throughout the week, however it is possible to change once after the first session, but please consult with the team.
As well as the many opportunities to meet people from the other faiths during the week, one session at the beginning is devoted to an "intrafaith" group meeting. Here we can learn the background of others from our own faith community who are here as well as dealing with any technical matters, such as the organising of religious services.
Participants often bring information, experiences or opinions that they would like to share with others. Speakers' Corner provides a space for people to present their materials to anyone who wishes to attend. The Team arranges the time and place but the speaker must arrange for translation. Any views expressed are the responsibility of the speaker alone.
The programme contains the opportunity for all three faith communities to celebrate the religious services that mark their "special" day in the week. All participants are invited to attend each other's services and to take part as far as they feel able.
In the Hebrew Bible the word "oneg" means "delight". The expression "oneg shabbat" in its modern use was coined in the early twentieth century for the celebration and enjoyment of Friday evening through songs, stories etc.
"Dhikr" is an Arabic word and means "remembrance". In the Qur'anic/Islamic context it means: to remember, to think of, to call to ALLAH. In the Qur'an ALLAH says: "MINE are the most beautiful names, with them call upon ME and I will answer." Or "WE (ALLAH) are closer to you than your jugular." So to praise ALLAH, to call upon ALLAH, speaking, singing, silent, dancing, according to the traditions of our Tariqah (Order), we are to live, to cultivate as much as possible a way of life and worship, which originate in our specific case nearly a thousand years ago in Al Mursa (Murcia), in Muslim Andalusia. | slim_pajama |
"CRASH"
Screenplay by
David Cronenberg
Based on a novel by
J.G. Ballard
SHOOTING DRAFT
EXT. AIRFIELD -- DAY
We are moving through a small airfield full of parked light
planes. There are no people around. We move through the
cluster of planes toward a hangar on the edge of the field.
INT. HANGAR -- DAY
We are still moving through light planes, but now we are
inside the hangar. Some of the planes have their engine covers
open, parts strewn around. Others are partially covered with
tarps or have sections missing. There is even a sleek
executive jet parked in one corner.
As we float past the planes we notice a woman leaning against
the wing of a Piper Cub, her chest against the wing's trailing
edge, her arms spread out to each side, as though flying
herself. As we get closer we see that her jacket is pulled
open to expose one of her breasts, which rests on the metal
of the wing.
CU breast on metal. CU hard nipple and rivets.
CU woman -- Catherine. Early thirties, dark, short hair,
stylish executive clothes. Her eyes are wide open but
unfocussed. A hand grips her shoulder from behind. We follow
the hand down behind Catherine and discover a man crouched
behind her, kissing her back.
Catherine is standing on a low mechanic's platform and her
skirt has been raised and hooked over the wing's flap. She
wears garters and stockings but no panties.
The man, handsome, cruel-looking, rises up behind her, enters
her, kisses her neck. Catherine half closes her eyes. She
rotates her pelvis gently against the thrusting.
EXT. FILM STUDIO -- DAY
We are floating toward the modest gates of a small film
studio; the sign above the gates says 'CineTerra' in Art
Deco script.
INT. FILM STUDIO -- DAY
We now float through a film set on which a commercial for a
mini-van is being shot. Lights are being reset, the van
polished for a beauty tracking shot.
We pick up an assistant director as he strides through the
action, looking for someone.
AD
I'm looking for James. Has anybody
seen James Ballard? You know who I
mean? The producer of this epic.
A dolly grip with very close-cropped hair looks up from a
section of dolly track which he is adjusting with small wooden
wedges.
GRIP
I think I saw him in the camera
department.
INT. FILM STUDIO. CAMERA ROOM -- DAY
We float toward the door marked CAMERA DEPT. Inside the room
we find a young woman, a camera assistant, wearing a T-shirt
and heavy woolen socks and work boots and nothing else. She
is draped across a table strewn with camera parts, stomach
down, head resting on a black, crackle-finish camera magazine,
her legs spread.
Camera parts and cases, tripods, changing bags everywhere.
A man is behind her, kissing the backs of her thighs.
We hear the sound of the AD approaching with deliberately
heavy footsteps. The AD pauses just outside the door.
AD
(off screen)
James? James, are you in there? Could
we please get your stamp of approval
on our little tracking shot?
The man, James, looks up from the woman's thighs.
JAMES
Of course. Be there in a minute.
The camera girl twists around on to her back and throws her
legs over James's shoulders.
CAMERA GIRL
It'll take more than a minute.
EXT. BALLARD APT. BALCONY -- NIGHT
Catherine stands at the railing of the balcony of the Ballard
apartment, which overlooks a busy expressway near the airport.
Her arms are spread wide as they were in the airplane hangar,
only now it is James, her husband, who is standing behind
her. They are both half naked, and he is inside her.
Their sex-making is disconnected, passionless, as though it
would disappear if they noticed it. An urgent, uninterrupted
flow of cars streams below them.
JAMES
Where were you?
CATHERINE
In the private aircraft hangar.
Anybody could have walked in.
JAMES
Did you come?
CATHERINE
No. What about your camera girl? Did
she come?
JAMES
We were interrupted. I had to go
back to the set...
Catherine turns toward James and pulls open her blouse,
exposing her left breast. She pulls James's face down and
presses her nipple against his cheek.
CATHERINE
Poor darling.
(pause)
What can I do about Karen? How can I
arrange to have her seduce me? She
desperately needs a conquest.
JAMES
I've been thinking about that, about
you and Karen.
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE. LINGERIE DEPARTMENT -- DAY
James lingers among racks of nightdresses outside a changing
cubicle. Monitored by a bored, seen-it-all middle-aged
saleswoman, James glances now and then through the curtains
to watch Karen help Catherine try on underwear.
Karen, Catherine's secretary, a moody, unsmiling girl, is
methodically involved in the soft technology of Catherine's
breasts and the brassi�res designed to show them off.
Karen touches Catherine with peculiar caresses, tapping her
lightly with the tips of her fingers, first upon the
shoulders, along the pink grooves left by her underwear,
then across her back, where the metal clasps of her brassi�re
have left a medallion of impressed skin, and finally on the
elastic-patterned grooves beneath Catherine's breasts
themselves.
Catherine stands through this in a trance-like state, gabbling
to herself in a low voice, as the tip of Karen's right
forefinger surreptitiously touches her nipple.
INT. UNDERGROUND PARKING-LOT -- DAY
James sits in the car beside his wife. She watches as his
fingers move across the control panel, switching on the
ignition, the direction indicator, selecting the drive lever,
fastening his seat-belt.
As the car moves off, James puts his free hand between
Catherine's thighs.
INT. FILM STUDIO. JAMES'S OFFICE -- NIGHT
James studies storyboards for an automotive battery
commercial, which are spread out over a broad architect's
table. He makes notes on each panel of the boards with a
sharp pencil.
As we move around him, we reveal his secretary, Renata,
sitting and watching him intently from the vantage point of
her corner chair, her hand poised to write down anything he
might say in a small, leather-bound notebook.
From her point of view, we watch James from behind as he
works. Every movement he makes -- bending over to correct a
panel, manipulating the pencil, touching the sharp point of
the pencil to his lip, straightening up again -- provokes a
different tiny response from Renata, so attuned to him is
she.
But he says nothing to her, and she remains poised and
vigilant.
EXT. FILM STUDIO. PARKING-LOT -- NIGHT
James settles into his car -- a boring American four-door
sedan -- running through his control-panel routine like a
pilot before driving off. This time his routine ends with
the switching on of the windshield wipers because it has
begun to rain heavily.
EXT. RAINSWEPT ROAD -- NIGHT
Driving home from the studio, James hits a deep puddle at 60
miles an hour and suddenly finds himself heading into the
oncoming lane. The car hits the central reservation with a
thump and the offside tire explodes and spins off its rim.
INT. JAMES'S CAR -- NIGHT
In the car, James fights desperately for control.
EXT. RAINSWEPT ROAD -- NIGHT
The car hurtles across the reservation and, bouncing and
slamming down on its suspension, heads up the high-speed
exit ramp. Three sedans are barreling down the ramp toward
James.
INT. JAMES'S CAR -- NIGHT
James pumps the brakes and saws away inexpertly at the wheel.
He manages to avoid the first two cars, but the third he
strikes head-on.
At the moment of impact, the man in the passenger seat of
the other car is propelled like a mattress from the barrel
of a circus cannon through his own windshield and then
partially through the windshield of James's car.
The propelled man's blood spatters James's face and chest,
his body coming to rest half inside James's car, its head
dangling down into the dark recess of the passenger footwell.
James's chest hits the steering wheel, his knees crush into
the instrument panel, his forehead hits the upper windshield
frame. As this happens, James is vaguely conscious of the
same thing happening to the woman driving the other car, as
though she is a bizarre mirror image.
Slammed back into their seats after the initial impact, James
and the woman look at each other through the shattered
windshields, neither able to move. The woman, handsome and
intelligent-looking, supported by her seat-belt, stares at
James in a curiously formal way, as if unsure what has brought
them together.
Out of the corner of his eye, James can see the hand of the
dead passenger, now his passenger, caught on the dashboard
and lying palm upwards only a few inches away from him. James
squints as he tries to focus on a huge blood-blister, pumped
up by the man's dying circulation, which has a distinct triton
shape.
James shifts his focus to the hood ornament of his car,
twisted up into the cold mercury-vapor glare of the roadway
lights but still intact. It is the same triton imprinted on
the palm of the dead passenger, the car manufacturer's logo.
EXT. RAINSWEPT ROAD -- NIGHT
Traffic is beginning to back up behind the accident and a
growing circle of spectators, some of them pedestrians, some
drivers who have left their own cars, begins to form.
The more adventurous members of the crowd paw hesitantly at
the seized doors of the two cars, afraid really to yank them
open in case the violence of that act might trigger some
further unnamed catastrophe.
INT. JAMES'S CAR -- NIGHT
Numbly watching James as she fumbles to undo her seat-belt,
the woman in the other crashed car inadvertently jerks open
her blouse and exposes her breast to James, its inner curve
marked by a dark, strap-like bruise made by her seat-belt.
In the strange, desperate privacy of this moment, the breast's
erect nipple seems somehow, impossibly, a deliberate
provocation.
INT. HOSPITAL -- DAY
We are close on a face having makeup applied to it. It is a
very pale, blotchy face, and the makeup is smoothing it,
making it appear healthy and even slightly tanned. There are
also some crude black stitches in this face, and we realize
that it is James's face, and that a very serious Catherine
is applying the makeup.
James's legs are up in a sling, drainage tubes coming from
both knees. Wounds on his chest: broken skin around the lower
edge of the sternum, where the horn boss had been driven
upwards by the collapsing engine compartment; a semicircular
bruise, a marbled rainbow, running from one nipple to the
other. Stitches in the laceration across the scalp, a second
hairline an inch below the original. Unshaven face and
fretting hands.
Catherine is dressed more for a smart lunch with an airline
executive than to visit her husband in hospital.
CATHERINE
There, that's better.
JAMES
Thank you.
James examines himself in her hand-mirror, staring at his
pale, mannequin-like face, trying to read its lines.
Catherine looks around her as she puts her makeup away. There
are twenty-three other beds in the briskly efficient-looking
new ward, all of them empty.
CATHERINE
Not a lot of action here.
JAMES
They consider this to be the airport
hospital. This ward is reserved for
air-crash victims. The beds are kept
waiting.
CATHERINE
If I groundloop during my flying
lesson on Saturday you might wake up
and find me next to you.
JAMES
I'll listen for you buzzing over.
Catherine crosses her legs and tries to light a cigarette
with a heavy, mechanically complex lighter with which she is
obviously unfamiliar.
JAMES
(referring to the
lighter)
Is that a gift from Wendel? It has
an aeronautical feel to it.
CATHERINE
Yes. From Wendel. To celebrate the
licence approval for our air-charter
firm. I forgot to tell you.
Catherine finally succeeds in lighting the cigarette. She
takes a deep drag. James props himself up on his elbow,
breathing with transparent pain.
JAMES
That's going well, then.
CATHERINE
Well, yes.
(pause)
You're getting out of bed tomorrow.
They want you to walk.
James gestures for the cigarette. Catherine puts the warm
tip, stained with pink lipstick, into his mouth.
CATHERINE
The other man, the dead man, his
wife is a doctor -- Dr Helen
Remington. She's here, somewhere. As
a patient, of course. Maybe you'll
find her in the hallways tomorrow on
your walk.
JAMES
And her husband? What was he?
CATHERINE
He was a chemical engineer with a
food company.
A dark-haired student female nurse comes into the ward. She
wags a finger at James.
STUDENT NURSE
No smoking, please.
As Catherine retrieves the cigarette from James and stubs it
out in a glass, the nurse examines Catherine's glamorous
figure, her expensive suit, her jewelry.
STUDENT NURSE
(to Catherine)
Are you this gentleman's wife? Mrs
Ballard?
CATHERINE
Yes.
STUDENT NURSE
You can stay for this, then.
The nurse pulls the bedclothes back and digs the urine bottle
from between James's legs. She checks the level and,
satisfied, drops it back, flips over the sheets again.
Both Catherine and James watch her closely, her sly thighs
under her gingham, the movement of her breasts as she bends
to check the chart at the foot of the bed, the pulse in her
throat. The nurse catches them watching her, smiles
enigmatically back at them, and leaves.
Catherine pulls out a manila folder from her bag and slips a
set of storyboards for a commercial out of it.
CATHERINE
Aida telephoned to say how sorry she
was, but could you look at the
storyboards again, she's made a number
of changes.
James waves the folder away. Catherine examines his body,
aloofly curious.
JAMES
Where's the car?
CATHERINE
Outside in the visitors' car-park.
JAMES
What!? They brought the car here?
CATHERINE
My car, not yours. Yours is a complete
wreck. The police dragged it to the
pound behind the station.
JAMES
Have you seen it?
CATHERINE
The sergeant asked me to identify
it. He didn't believe you'd gotten
out alive.
JAMES
It's about time.
CATHERINE
It is?
JAMES
After being bombarded endlessly by
road-safety propaganda, it's almost
a relief to have found myself in an
actual accident.
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAYS -- NIGHT
James is taking his walk through the hallways, trundling his
IV stand along with him like an awkward pet.
A white-coated doctor -- Vaughan -- steps into the ward from
a room at the end of the hall. He is bare-chested under his
white coat. His strong hands carry a briefcase filled with
photographs, which he pauses to shuffle through, as though
checking a map.
As James approaches this new visitor, Vaughan's pockmarked
jaws chomp on a piece of gum, creating the impression that
he might be hawking obscene pictures around the wards,
pornographic X-ray plates and blacklisted urinalyses. He
sports copious scar tissue around his forehead and mouth,
rumpled and puckered as though residues from some terrifying
act of violence.
Vaughan looks James up and down, taking in every detail of
his injuries with evident interest.
VAUGHAN
James Ballard?
JAMES
Yes?
VAUGHAN
Crash victim?
JAMES
Yes.
Vaughan shuffles his photos again. James manages to make out
the shapes of a few crushed and distorted vehicles caught in
lurid, flash-lit news style. Vaughan flips through them
distractedly, then with an unexpected, almost flirtatious
flourish slides them back into his briefcase and tucks it
under his arm.
VAUGHAN
We'll deal with these later.
He flashes James an enigmatic smile, and walks off down the
hallway.
As James turns to continue, a young woman comes out of the
same room that Vaughan appeared from and moves toward him,
using a dark wooden walking stick. She presses her face into
her raised shoulder, possibly to hide the bruise marking her
right cheekbone.
The woman is Dr. Helen Remington, whose husband died in her
car crash with James.
James stops as she approaches. He speaks without thinking.
JAMES
Dr. Remington...?
The woman looks up at James as she continues her approach.
She does not falter, but changes her grip on the cane, as if
preparing to thrash him across the face with it. She moves
her head in a peculiar gesture of the neck, deliberately
forcing her injury on him.
She pauses when she reaches the doorway, waiting for him to
step out of her way. James looks down at the scar tissue on
her face, a seam left by an invisible zip three inches long,
running from the corner of her right eye to the apex of her
mouth.
James is acutely aware of her strong body beneath her mauve
bathrobe, her ribcage partly shielded by a sheath of white
plaster that runs from one shoulder to the opposite armpit
like a classic Hollywood ball-gown.
James steps aside. Deciding to ignore him, Helen Remington
walks stiffly along the communication corridor, parading her
anger and her wound.
INT. HOSPITAL -- DAY
Catherine washes James's body as he lies in his hospital
bed, gently exploring his bruises and his wounds.
CATHERINE
Both front wheels and the engine
were driven back into the driver's
section, bowing the floor. Blood
still marked the hood, streamers of
black lace running toward the
windshield-wiper gutters.
Catherine resoaps her right hand from the bar in the wet
saucer on the bed tray, a cigarette in her left. James strokes
her stockinged thigh as she continues her monologue.
CATHERINE
Minute flecks were spattered across
the seat and steering wheel. The
instrument panel was buckled inwards,
cracking the clock and the speedometer
dials. The cabin was deformed, and
there was dust and glass and plastic
flakes everywhere inside. The
carpeting was damp and stank of blood
and other body and machine fluids.
JAMES
You should have gone to the funeral.
CATHERINE
I wish I had. They bury the dead so
quickly -- they should leave them
lying around for months.
JAMES
What about his wife? The woman doctor?
Have you visited her yet?
CATHERINE
No, I couldn't. I feel too close to
her.
EXT. ROAD HOME FROM HOSPITAL -- DAY
Catherine and James travel home in the back seat of a taxi.
Learning against the rear window of the taxi, James finds
himself flinching with excitement toward the approaching
traffic streams, which now seem threatening and super-real.
Catherine watches him, aware that he is over-exhilarated,
very excited herself by his new sensitivity to the traffic.
EXT. BALLARD APT. BALCONY -- DAY
James sits in a reclining chair on the balcony of his
apartment, looking down through the anodized balcony rails
at the neighborhood ten stories below.
Cars fill the suburban streets, choking the parking-lots of
the supermarkets, ramped on to the pavements. Two minor
accidents have caused a massive tail-back along the flyover
which crosses the entrance tunnel to the airport. In one of
them, a white laundry-van has bumped into the back of a sedan
filled with wedding guests.
James gazes raptly down at this immense motion sculpture,
this incomprehensible pinball machine.
Catherine comes on to the balcony, kneels down beside him,
begins to toy lovingly with the scars on his knees.
CATHERINE
Renata tells me you're going to rent
a car.
JAMES
I can't sit on this balcony forever.
I'm beginning to feel like a potted
plant.
CATHERINE
How can you drive? James... your
legs. You can barely walk.
JAMES
Is the traffic heavier now? There
seem to be three times as many cars
as there were before the accident.
CATHERINE
I've never really noticed. Is Renata
going with you?
JAMES
I thought she might come along.
Handling a car again might be more
tiring than I imagine.
CATHERINE
I'm amazed that she'll let you drive
her.
JAMES
You're not envious?
CATHERINE
Maybe I am a little.
(rising)
James, I've got to leave for the
office. Are you going to be all right?
INT. BALLARD APT. GARAGE -- DAY
James stands at the entrance to his apartment building's
underground garage. Only about a dozen cars are there; most
of them have been driven to work. James walks among those
that remain, absorbing the details of the personal things
left in them -- a silk scarf lies on a rear window-sill, a
pair of sunglasses hooked over a carpeted transmission hump.
James stops in front of the empty bay marked 'Balladr'. He
stares at the familiar pattern of oil-stains marking the
cement.
INT. RENTED CAR -- DAY
A steering wheel, an instrument panel, a windshield. Renata's
hips gripped by the fabric of the passenger seat, her legs
stowed out of sight beneath her red plastic raincoat. James
drives Renata in a rented car, his first drive since the
accident.
EXT. FIRST CRASH SITE -- DAY
The rented car slows and stops on the concrete verge a few
yards from the spot where James's crash took place.
INT. RENTED CAR -- DAY
RENATA
Are we allowed to park here?
JAMES
No.
RENATA
I'm sure the police would make an
exception in your case.
James unbuttons Renata's raincoat and places his hand on her
thigh. She lets him kiss her throat, holding his shoulder
reassuringly, like an affectionate governess.
JAMES
There's still a patch of blood there
on the road. Did you see it?
RENATA
I saw the blood. It looks like motor
oil.
JAMES
You were the last one I saw just
before the accident. Do you remember?
We made love.
RENATA
Are you still involving me in your
crash?
An airline coach passes, the passengers bound for Milan
staring down at the couple in the car. Renata buttons her
coat.
EXT. FIRST CRASH SITE -- DAY
James steps from the car, his right knee giving way after
the effort of driving. At his feet lies a litter of dead
leaves, cigarette cartons and small drifts of safety-glass
crystals.
A hundred yards behind them, a dusty old Lincoln is also
parked on the verge. The leather-jacketed driver watches
James through his mudspattered windshield, broad shoulders
hunched against the door pillar. As James crosses the road
the man picks up a camera fitted with a zoom lens and peers
at James through the eye-piece.
Spotting the man, Renata opens the car door for James.
RENATA
Who is that man? Is he a private
detective?
James gets back into the car.
INT. RENTED CAR -- DAY
RENATA
Can you drive?
JAMES
I can drive.
James shifts the car into gear and cruises slowly toward the
man with the camera. As they approach him, he gets out of
his own car, ignoring them, and kneels down to study the
hieroglyphics of the skid marks on the road surface.
As James and Renata drive past the kneeling man, the sunlight
highlights the ridges of scars on his forehead and around
his mouth.
The man looks up at James and he recognizes Vaughan, the
young doctor he last saw in the hallway at the airport
hospital.
EXT. AIRFIELD. HANGAR -- DAY
James proudly shows off his new car to Catherine and Karen
at their offices at the airport. The car is identical to the
one he crashed.
James sits sideways in the driver's seat, door open, weirdly
jaunty.
CATHERINE
I can't believe you've done this.
KAREN
This is the exact same car as your
old one, isn't it?
CATHERINE
Yes, it is.
(to James)
Are you planning to have another car
crash?
JAMES
I'm not thinking about the crash at
all.
James is telling the truth. What he is thinking about is the
way that Karen's hip casually brushes against Catherine's
hip, without either woman seeming to be conscious of it.
EXT. POLICE POUND -- DAY
James enters the gate of the police pound on foot, and shows
his pass to the guard at the gate. His pass now stamped, he
hesitates for a beat before he enters.
INT. POLICE POUND -- DAY
Some twenty or so crashed vehicles are parked in the sunlight
against the rear wall of an abandoned cinema. At the far end
of the asphalt yard is a truck whose entire driving cabin
has been crushed, as if the dimensions of space had abruptly
contracted around the body of the driver.
Unnerved by these deformations, James moves from one car to
the next until he comes to his own. The remains of towing
tackle are attached to the front bumper, and the body panels
are splashed with oil and dirt. He peers through the windows
into the cabin, runs his hand over the mud-stained glass.
Without thinking, he kneels in front of the car and stares
at the crushed fenders and radiator grill.
Two policemen cross the yard with a black Alsatian dog. They
watch James hovering around his car as if they vaguely resent
his touching it. When they are gone, he unlatches the driver's
door and, with an effort, pulls it open.
James eases himself on to the dusty vinyl seat, tipped back
by the bowing of the floor. He nervously lifts his legs into
the car and places his feet on the rubber cleats of the
pedals, which have been forced out of the engine compartment
so that his knees are pressed against his chest.
The two policemen are exercising their dog across the yard.
James opens the glove compartment, forcing the shelf
downwards. Inside, covered with dirt and flaked plastic, are
a set of route maps, a mildly pornographic novel, a polaroid
of Renata sitting in the car near a water reservoir with her
breasts exposed.
James pulls open the ashtray, which promptly jumps on to his
lap, releasing a dozen lipstick-smeared butts.
Someone passes in front of the car. A policeman's voice calls
from the gatehouse. Through the windshield, James sees a
woman in a white raincoat walking along the line of wrecked
cars. The woman -- Helen Remington -- approaches the car
next to his, a crushed convertible involved in a massive
rear-end collision.
James sits quietly behind the steering wheel. Helen turns
from the convertible. She glances at the hood of James's
car, clearly not recognizing the vehicle that killed her
husband. As she raises her head she sees James through the
glassless windshield frame, sitting behind the deformed
steering wheel among the dried bloodstains of her husband.
Helen's strong eyes barely change their focus, but one hand
rises involuntarily to her cheek. She takes in the damage to
the car, then takes in James. Without giving away anything,
she turns and moves toward a damaged truck, then turns and
comes back as James gets out of his car.
She gestures toward the damaged vehicles, then speaks to
James as though continuing a conversation already in progress.
HELEN
After this sort of thing, how do
people manage to look at a car, let
alone drive one?
(pause)
I'm trying to find Charles's car.
JAMES
It's not here. Maybe the police are
still holding it. Their forensic
people...
HELEN
They said it was here. They told me
this morning.
She peers critically at James's car, as if puzzled by its
distorted geometry.
HELEN
This is your car?
She reaches out a gloved hand and touches the radiator grill,
feeling a chrome pillar torn from the accordion, as if
searching for some trace of her husband's presence among the
blood-spattered paintwork.
JAMES
You'll tear your gloves.
James gently takes her hand and moves it away from the grill.
JAMES
I don't think we should have come
here. I'm surprised the police don't
make it more difficult.
HELEN
Were you badly hurt? I think we saw
each other at the hospital.
(pause)
I don't want the car. In fact, I was
appalled to find that I have to pay
a small fee to have it scrapped.
JAMES
Can I give you a lift?
(almost apologetically)
I somehow find myself driving again.
INT. JAMES'S CAR -- DAY
James is driving Helen Remington away from the police pound.
JAMES
You haven't told me where we're going.
HELEN
Haven't I? To the airport, if you
could.
At these words, James is stricken by an odd feeling of loss.
JAMES
The airport? Why? Are you leaving?
HELEN
Not yet -- though not soon enough
for some people, I've already found.
A death in the doctor's family makes
the patients doubly uneasy.
JAMES
I take it you're not wearing white
to reassure them.
HELEN
I'll wear a bloody kimono if I want
to.
JAMES
So -- why the airport?
HELEN
I work in the immigration department
there.
James is very aware that, as they speak, Helen is intently
watching his hands and feet operating the controls of the
car, perceiving these motions in a way that she never would
have before her crash with him.
He, in turn, has trouble taking his eyes off her facial scars,
which she now makes no attempt to hide.
She pulls a cigarette packet from the pocket of her raincoat.
She searches the instrument panel for the lighter, her right
hand hovering above his knees like a nervous bird.
Having found the lighter, her strong hands tear away the
cellophane from the cigarette pack.
HELEN
Do you want a cigarette? I started
to smoke at the hospital. It's rather
stupid of me.
JAMES
(suddenly very agitated)
Look at all this traffic. I'm not
sure I can deal with it.
HELEN
It's much worse now. You noticed
that, did you? The day I left the
hospital I had the extraordinary
feeling that all these cars were
gathering for some special reason I
didn't understand. There seemed to
be ten times as much traffic.
JAMES
Are we imagining it?
Helen waves her cigarette in a gesture that takes in the
whole interior of the car.
HELEN
You've bought yourself exactly the
same car again. It's the same shape
and colour.
EXT. FIRST CRASH SITE -- DAY
They are now passing the spot where their crash took place.
Intimidated by the aggressive traffic around him, James allows
the front wheel of the car to strike the curb of the central
reservation, throwing a tornado of dust and cigarette packs
on to the windshield.
INT. JAMES'S CAR -- DAY
The car swerves from the fast lane and veers toward an airline
coach coming out of the exit ramp. Helen quickly shifts to
the left of her seat and, pressing her shoulder against
James's, closes her hand over James's hand on the wheel.
With Helen's help, James just manages to pull the car behind
the coach.
They watch the cars swerving past on both sides of them,
horns sounding.
HELEN
Turn up here into the car-park. It
won't be busy this time of day.
INT. AIRPORT CAR-PARK -- DAY
The car winds its way slowly up the rampways leading to higher
and higher parking levels. James finds the rhythm soothing
and begins to calm down.
HELEN
I've found that I enjoy burying myself
in heavy traffic. I like to look at
it. Yesterday I hired a taxi-driver
to drive me around for an hour.
'Anywhere,' I said. We sat in a
massive traffic jam under an off-
ramp. I don't think we moved more
than fifty yards.
(pause)
I'm thinking of taking up a new job
with the Road Research Laboratory.
They need a medical officer. The
salary is larger -- something I've
got to think about now. There's a
certain moral virtue in being
materialistic, I'm beginning to feel.
Well, it's a new approach for me, in
any case.
JAMES
The Road Research Laboratory? Where
they simulate car crashes?
HELEN
Yes.
JAMES
Isn't that rather too close...?
HELEN
That's the point. Besides, I know I
can give something now that I wasn't
remotely aware of before. It's not a
matter of duty so much as of
commitment.
They have now reached the top level of the multi-story car-
park, and James pulls into a parking spot overlooking a major
runway. An immense jumbo jet is maneuvering into its take-
off position.
James turns off the car and puts his arms around Helen. She
offers no resistance, as though the whole scenario were well
understood and agreed upon. James kisses her mouth, her
eyelids, unzips her dress.
With the jet engines screaming for accompaniment, Helen lifts
her right breast from her brassi�re, pressing James's fingers
against the hot nipple. Helen now straddles him and, awkwardly
meshing with the technology around them, they make love in
the driver's seat of the car.
INT. BALLARD APT. -- NIGHT
James and Catherine make love in the same position as in the
preceding scene.
James's thoughts keep flashing back to himself and Helen in
his car, the images mixing confusingly with his present
lovemaking to Catherine.
INT. FILM STUDIO. JAMES'S OFFICE -- DAY
James is back in his office, but it is obvious that he is
only nibbling at the work that has piled up in his absence.
Renata comes in.
RENATA
I almost forgot to give you this.
Probably because I know you're going
to like it.
Renata hands James a brown manila envelope with no markings
on it.
JAMES
What is it?
RENATA
A complimentary ticket for a special
stunt-driving exhibition. Definitely
not part of the big auto show. There's
a map in the packet and a note
requesting you be discreet about the
location.
JAMES
Really? What kind of exhibition is
it?
RENATA
I suspect it involves re-enactments
of famous car crashes. You know,
Jayne Mansfield, James Dean, Albert
Camus...
JAMES
You're kidding.
RENATA
Serious. But you'll have to take
your new friend, the female crash-
test dummy. She dropped it off for
you.
JAMES
You're not jealous, are you? You
have to understand... Helen and I
had this strange, intense...
experience together.
Renata kisses him hard, then bites his lip. James pulls away
in surprise.
RENATA
We've had a few of those ourselves,
haven't we?
Renata turns on her heel and floats out the door, leaving
James to contemplate the contents of the envelope.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD -- NIGHT
We are looking at the words 'Little Bastard' written in black
script on silver metal, enamel on unpainted aluminum. We
pull back to reveal the entire metal object, which is a 1955
Porsche 550 Spyder race car. It is small and curvaceous, and
is being fussed over by several men in overalls. The number
'130' is painted on its hood and doors.
The Porsche sits on a country road, two-lane blacktop, heavily
wooded, lit by a series of movie lights. On the hills lining
the road a few rough wooden stands have been erected.
A blond man -- Vaughan -- stands near the rear of the Porsche,
a microphone in his hand. His voice floats eerily out of the
woods from speakers mounted on a series of pine trees.
VAUGHAN
(over speakers)
'Don't worry, that guy's gotta see
us!' These were the confident last
words of the brilliant young Hollywood
star James Dean as he piloted his
Porsche 550 Spyder race car toward a
date with death on a lonely stretch
of California two-lane blacktop,
Route 466. 'Don't worry, that guy's
gotta see us.' The year, 1955; the
day, September thirtieth; the time:
now.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD. GRANDSTAND -- NIGHT
Helen and James sit in a half-empty stand, looking down at
the road from amid the trees. Helen has her arm around James's
waist, her face touching his shoulder.
JAMES
It's strange -- I thought all this
would be far more popular.
Helen is consulting a yellow program sheet.
HELEN
The real thing is available free of
charge. Besides, it's not quite legal.
They can't advertise.
VAUGHAN
(over speakers)
The first star of our show is 'Little
Bastard', James Dean's racing Porsche.
He named it after himself, and had
his racing number, 130, painted on
it.
JAMES
Who is that? The announcer. Do I
know him?
HELEN
That's Vaughan. He talked to you at
the hospital.
JAMES
Oh, yes. I thought he was a medical
photographer, doing some sort of
accident research. He wanted every
conceivable detail about our crash.
HELEN
When I first met Vaughan, he was a
specialist in international
computerized traffic systems. I don't
know what he is now.
VAUGHAN
(over speakers)
The second star is stuntman and former
race driver -- Colin Seagrave, who
will drive our replica of James Dean's
car.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD -- NIGHT
Seagrave, a coarse and burly man, wriggles his way behind
the wheel of the delicate little race car without
acknowledging the cheers of the crowd. He wears James Dean
clothes -- a red windbreaker, a white T-shirt, jeans, loafers,
prescription glasses with clip-on sunshades.
As he talks, Vaughan tours the phalanx of tripod-mounted
cameras to check their placement, and chats off-mike with
the pair of cameramen with hand-held cameras. He seems to be
more the director of the event, possibly the ringmaster,
than an actor in it.
VAUGHAN
(over speakers)
I myself shall play the role of James
Dean's racing mechanic, Rolf
W�therich, sent over from the Porsche
factory in Zuffenhausen, Germany.
This mechanic was himself fated to
die in a car crash in Germany twenty-
six years later. And the third and
in some ways most important party,
the college student Donald Turnupseed,
played by movie stuntman Brett Trask.
Trask, slim and wiry, wearing loafers and a blazer, waves
his hand and gets into a replica of Turnupseed's two-tone,
black-and-white 1950 Ford sedan. He starts up the Ford, which
smokes badly, and drives it up the hill about 100 yards.
VAUGHAN
(over speakers)
Turnupseed was on his way back to
his home in Fresno for the weekend.
James Dean was on his way to an
automobile race in Salinas, a dusty
town in northern California. The two
would only meet for one moment, but
it was a moment that would create a
Hollywood legend.
At this point Vaughan, who is dressed in light-blue cotton
1950s mechanics' overalls, sees James and Helen in the thin
crowd and waves to them, as though they were long-standing
aficionados of crash spectacles. He doesn't wait to see if
they react, but immediately steps into the passenger side of
the Porsche, microphone still in hand.
VAUGHAN
(over speakers)
You'll notice that we are not wearing
helmets or safety padding of any
kind, and our cars are not equipped
with roll cages or seat-belts. We
depend solely on the skill of our
drivers for our safety, so that we
can bring you the ultimate in
authenticity. All right, here we go.
The fatal crash of James Dean!
Vaughan hands the microphone to a stills cameraman who also
functions as an assistant, and then sinks down into the silver
car.
Seagrave starts the Porsche, which settles quickly into a
husky idle. A few blips of the throttle, and then the Porsche
is reversed down to the edge of the lighted strip of road.
When the Porsche stops, the excited crowd goes quiet. An
assistant with a walkie-talkie kneels beside the silver car
on the driver's side, co-ordinating the start with his
opposite number standing next to the Ford over the hill.
There is a calculated pause before anything happens, and
then the Porsche spins its wheels and accelerates up the
hill.
From their vantage point in the stand, James and Helen can
clearly see that the Ford has also started and that the two
cars are headed toward each other, each in its respective
lane.
The Porsche accelerates hard, the Ford lumbers along at a
moderate pace, swaying clumsily on its soft springs.
As the cars approach each other, James notices a fresh
clearing at the side of the road at just about the point
where they seem likely to pass. Sure enough, when the cars
are about thirty yards apart, the Ford wanders over the center
line. As the Porsche approaches it, it seems to move back
into its own lane, but then suddenly swerves again as though
making a left turn.
The Porsche, in its turn, swerves to avoid the big American
car but they collide, the immense chrome grill punching into
the side of the fragile race car, crumpling it like a wad of
tin foil and shunting it unceremoniously off the road into
the clearing that has been prepared for it.
As the Porsche hobbles to a stop, Vaughan seems to stand up
on his seat and then throw himself out of the car, rolling
over what's left of the front hood on to the ground. Seagrave
remains slumped in the driver's seat. Vaughan lies still
where he lands, a few feet ahead of the crumpled nose of the
race car.
The door of the Ford opens and Trask stumbles out. He begins
to walk around in a dazed and agitated manner, and the crowd,
which has been buzzing, goes silent again. Trask walks away
from the crash site and disappears into the shadows at the
edge of the road.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD. GRANDSTAND -- NIGHT
There is no movement from either Seagrave or Vaughan. James
is not sure how to react, but Helen seems genuinely worried.
JAMES
Is that part of the act or are they
really hurt?
HELEN
I don't know. You can never be sure
with Vaughan. This is his show.
A stills cameraman runs out of nowhere and kneels beside the
apparently stricken Vaughan in the weeds at the side of the
road. It is not clear whether he is taking his picture or
ministering to him. It soon becomes clear that he has handed
him a radio microphone because Vaughan's low, melodramatic
growl now ripples out of the woods from the tree speakers.
VAUGHAN
(over speakers)
Rolf W�therich was thrown from the
Porsche and spent a year in the
hospital recovering from his injuries.
Donald Turnupseed was found wandering
around in a daze, basically unhurt.
James Dean died of a broken neck and
became immortal.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD -- NIGHT
Vaughan now leaps to his feet, hands raised in triumph.
Seagrave stirs behind the wheel, then raises his hands. Trask
emerges from the woods, waving to the now-supercharged crowd.
Seagrave tries to get out of the collapsed Porsche but is
jammed behind the wheel. Without missing a beat, Vaughan
dances over to the car and begins to haul Seagrave out of
his seat.
COLIN
Hold me. I'm dizzy. I can't stand
up.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD. GRANDSTAND -- NIGHT
Helen stands up as the crowd buzzes.
HELEN
I know that man, Seagrave, the stunt
driver. I think he's genuinely hurt.
Helen makes her way down the rickety grandstand steps toward
the road, and James follows her.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD -- NIGHT
Just as James and Helen step on the road, six police cars,
lights flashing and sirens wailing, converge on the lit
stretch of road, three from each end. They screech to a halt
and dozens of cops pour out of the cars.
The crowd panics and streams down from the grandstand on to
the road. A loudspeaker mounted on one of the police cars
begins to blare.
POLICE
(over loudspeaker)
This is an illegal and unauthorized
automotive demonstration which is in
contravention of the Highway Traffic
Act. You are all liable to fines and
possible arrest and confinement...
Disperse at once! Disperse at once!
Because James and Helen are just in advance of the first
wave of spectators, they manage to link up with Vaughan as
he helps haul a still-groggy Seagrave off the road and into
the woods. Helen takes Seagrave's free arm.
HELEN
(to Vaughan)
What's the matter with Seagrave?
VAUGHAN
Hit his head, I think. His balance
is off.
The police spread out through the crowd, collaring people at
random before they are able to escape into the woods.
EXT. WOODS -- NIGHT
James and Helen help Vaughan hustle Seagrave through the
woods. The din of the roadway fades away behind them.
JAMES
Why are the police taking this all
so seriously?
VAUGHAN
It's not the police. It's the
Department of Transport. Internal
politics. It's a joke. They have no
idea who we really are.
In the gathering darkness of the woods, it is apparent that
James doesn't really know who they are either.
INT. VAUGHAN'S LINCOLN -- NIGHT
Vaughan drives the Lincoln through a scarred, bleak landscape.
In the front seat with him are Helen and James. Seagrave is
lying down in the back seat with his eyes closed.
VAUGHAN
That was glib, wasn't it? 'James
Dean died of a broken neck and became
immortal.' But I couldn't resist.
Vaughan puts his hand between Helen's thighs. She seems not
to notice, but her eyes close dreamily every once in a while.
James watches microscopically.
Sometimes, when the flow of traffic allows, Vaughan stares
intently at James while his hand works away between Helen's
thighs, and James looks away, flushed, like a schoolgirl.
EXT. SEAGRAVE'S GARAGE -- NIGHT
The Lincoln turns into the forecourt of Seagrave's garage
and showroom. His business, which has clearly seen better
days, is hot-rodding and customized cars. Behind the unwashed
glass of the showroom is a fiberglass replica of a 1930s
Brooklands racer, faded bunting stuffed into the seat.
They get out of the car, helping the woozy Seagrave through
the door at the side of the showroom, which leads to the
stairway up to the apartment above the garage.
INT. SEAGRAVE APT. -- NIGHT
The Seagrave apartment is dirty and depressing, featuring
cheap, cigarette-scarred leatherette furniture.
James watches Helen and Vaughan steer Seagrave into the living-
room, where two people sit on a couch watching television
with the sound turned off: Gabrielle, a sharp-faced young
woman who is rolling a hash joint; and Seagrave's wife, Vera,
a handsome, restless woman of about thirty.
Vera stands as they come in and rushes over to the shaky
Seagrave.
VERA
Oh, God. What happened? Here, lie
down.
Vera and Helen lay the confused Seagrave down on the three-
seat sofa, while Vaughan sits next to Gabrielle and helps
her prepare another hash joint. James, awkwardly left
standing, notices long scars on Vera's thighs and legs.
HELEN
They did the James Dean crash. It
seemed to go perfectly. But he started
to feel nauseous on the way back.
I'm sure it's concussion.
VERA
Ah, well... We're familiar enough
with that, then, aren't we?
James watches Gabrielle and Vaughan. As she rolls a small
piece of resin in a twist of silver foil, Vaughan brings a
brass lighter out of his hip pocket. Gabrielle cooks the
resin, and shakes the powder into the open cigarette waiting
in the roller machine on her lap.
On Gabrielle's legs are traces of what seem to be gas bacillus
scars, faint circular depressions on the kneecaps. She notices
James staring at her scars, but makes no effort to close her
legs.
On the sofa beside her is a chromium metal cane and, as she
shifts her weight, James sees that the instep of each leg is
held in the steel clamp of a surgical support. It now becomes
obvious from the over-rigid posture of her waist that she is
also wearing a back-brace of some kind.
Gabrielle rolls another cigarette out of the machine, but
does not offer it to James. Instead, Vaughan gets up and
takes it over to Seagrave, who has managed to sit up.
VAUGHAN
I'd really like to work out the
details of the Jayne Mansfield crash
with you. We could do the decapitation --
her head embedded in the windshield --
and the little dead dog thing as
well. You know, the Chihuahuas in
the back seat. I've got it figured
out.
Seagrave takes the lit joint and draws heavily on it. He
holds the smoke in his lungs for a while, studies the grease
on his hands before he answers.
COLIN
You know I'll be ready, Vaughan. But
I'll want to wear really big tits --
out to here -- so the crowd can see
them get cut up and crushed on the
dashboard.
James turns to go, leaving Helen to her conversation with
Vera, but Vaughan follows him through the door, holding his
arm in a powerful grip.
VAUGHAN
Don't leave yet, Ballard. I want you
to help me.
INT. VAUGHAN'S WORKSHOP -- NIGHT
James follows Vaughan down a cramped corridor to a
photographic workshop formed out of a warren of small rooms.
Vaughan eases James into the first room and then carefully
closes the door behind them.
JAMES
Do you live here? With Seagrave?
VAUGHAN
(laughs)
I live in my car. This is my workshop.
Pinned to the walls and lying on the benches among the enamel
pails are hundreds of photographs. The floor around the
enlarger is littered with half-plate prints, developed and
cast aside once they have yielded their images. Vaughan makes
a sweeping gesture that takes in all the photographs.
VAUGHAN
And this is the new project, Ballard.
As Vaughan hunts around the central table, turning the pages
of a leather-bound album, James looks down at the discarded
prints below his feet. Most of them are crude frontal pictures
of motor-cars and heavy vehicles involved in highway
collisions, surrounded by spectators and police, and close-
ups of impacted radiator grills and windshields.
Vaughan opens the album at random and hands it to James. He
leans back against the door and watches as James adjusts the
desk lamp.
The first thirty pages record the crash, hospitalization,
and post-recuperative romance of the young woman Gabrielle --
a social worker, the photos suggest -- who is currently
getting very stoned in the next room.
By coincidence, her small sports car had collided with an
airline bus at the entry to the airport not far from the
site of James's own accident. Vaughan had obviously been
there, shooting film, moments after the crash. The incredibly
detailed photos end with her affair with her physical therapy
instructor.
The remainder of the album describes the course of James's
own accident and recovery, and includes his sexual encounters
with Renata, Helen Remington, and his own wife, Catherine.
Vaughan stands at James's shoulder, like an instructor ready
to help a promising pupil.
James closes the book.
JAMES
What kind of help can I possibly be
to you? You seem to be everywhere at
once as it is.
At that moment, there is a knock at the door, and then
Gabrielle enters and takes a few stiff steps into the room
on her shackled legs. She holds out a couple of joints to
Vaughan.
GABRIELLE
Thought you might be missing these.
(to James)
So here you are at the nerve centre.
Vaughan makes everything look like a
crime, doesn't he?
Vaughan takes the joints and lights them both. He hands one
to James, who takes it gratefully.
JAMES
What exactly is your project, Vaughan?
A book of crashes? A medical study?
A sensational documentary? Global
traffic?
VAUGHAN
It's something we're all intimately
involved in: the reshaping of the
human body by modern technology.
INT. FILM STUDIO. JAMES'S OFFICE -- DAY
James watches Renata and Catherine talking animatedly at the
other end of his office. He can't hear what they are saying,
but Renata is showing Catherine layouts of ads involving
images of private planes flying in formation. They touch
each other from time to time without seeming to notice it,
but James notices it.
EXT. VARIOUS LARGE CITY ROADS -- DAY
James and Catherine set off for home in their own separate
cars. At times, they are within sight of each other and James
watches her microscopically, as though he didn't know her,
as though, perhaps, she isn't human.
At one point he sees her with her hands resting on the
steering wheel, her right index finger picking at an old
adhesive label on the windshield.
And then, abruptly, James is aware of the dented fender of
Vaughan's Lincoln only a few feet behind Catherine's sports
car.
Vaughan now surges past James, crowding along the roadway as
if waiting for Catherine to make a mistake. Startled,
Catherine takes refuge in front of an airline bus in the
nearside lane. Vaughan drives alongside the bus, using his
horn and lights to force the driver back, and again cuts in
behind Catherine.
James moves ahead along the center lane, shouting to Vaughan
as he passes him, but Vaughan is signalling to Catherine,
pumping his headlights at her rear fender.
Without thinking, Catherine pulls into the courtyard of a
filling station, forcing Vaughan into a heavy U-turn. Tires
screaming, he swings around the ornamental flower-bed with
its glazed pottery plants, but James blocks his way with his
own car.
Heart racing, Catherine sits still in her car among the fuel
pumps, her eyes flashing at Vaughan.
James steps from his car and walks across to Vaughan, who
watches James approach as if he had never seen him before,
scarred mouth working on a piece of gum as he gazes at the
aircrafts taking off from the airport.
JAMES
Vaughan, what the hell are you doing?
Are you trying to create your own
Famous Crash?
Vaughan hooks his gear lever into reverse.
VAUGHAN
It excited her, Ballard. Your wife,
Catherine. She enjoyed it. Ask her.
Vaughan reverses his car in a wide circle, almost running
down a passing pump attendant, and sets off across the early
afternoon traffic.
INT. BALLARD APT. -- NIGHT
James and Catherine lie naked in bed, she with her back to
him, buttocks pressed into his groin. He is inside her.
CATHERINE
He must have fucked a lot of women
in that huge car of his. It's like a
bed on wheels. It must smell of
semen...
JAMES
It does.
CATHERINE
Do you find him attractive?
JAMES
He's very pale. Covered with scars.
CATHERINE
Would you like to fuck him, though?
In that car?
JAMES
No. But when he's in that car...
CATHERINE
Have you seen his penis?
JAMES
I think it's badly scarred too. From
a motorcycle accident.
CATHERINE
Is he circumcised? Can you imagine
what his anus is like? Describe it
to me. Would you like to sodomize
him? Would you like to put your penis
right into his anus, thrust it up
his anus? Tell me, describe it to
me. Tell me what you would do. How
would you kiss him in that car?
Describe how you'd reach over and
unzip his greasy jeans, then take
out his penis. Would you kiss it or
suck it right away? Which hand would
you hold it in? Have you ever sucked
a penis? Do you know what semen tastes
like? Have you ever tasted semen?
Some semen is saltier than others.
Vaughan's semen must be very salty...
They both have huge orgasms within moments of each other.
INT. HELEN'S CAR -- DAY
We are close on the distracted, solicitous face of Helen
Remington.
HELEN
Have you come?
Helen Remington and James are having sex in the back seat of
Helen's car, Helen sitting on James's lap with her back to
him. She dismounts him and touches his shoulder with an
uncertain hand, as though he were a patient she had worked
hard to revive.
EXT. AIRPORT CAR-PARK -- DAY
Helen's car is parked on the upper level of the airport car-
park, which is currently quite busy. Streams of traffic,
both pedestrian and vehicular, flow past the car.
INT. HELEN'S CAR -- DAY
James lies against the rear seat of the car while Helen
dresses with abrupt movements, straightening her shirt around
her hips like a department-store window-dresser jerking a
garment on to a mannequin.
JAMES
Please finish your story.
HELEN
The junior pathologist at Ashford
Hospital. Then the husband of a
colleague of mine, then a trainee
radiologist, then the service manager
at my garage.
JAMES
And you had sex with all of these
men in cars? Only in cars?
HELEN
Yes. I didn't plan it that way.
JAMES
And did you fantasize that Vaughan
was photographing all these sex acts?
As though they were traffic accidents?
HELEN
Yes.
(laughs)
They felt like traffic accidents.
INT. ROAD RESEARCH LAB -- DAY
We are witnessing a spectacular road accident re-created
under laboratory conditions in the immense confines of the
Road Research Lab.
A motorcycle is in the process of having a head-on collision
with a sedan bearing a family of four -- an extremely violent
and disturbing crash, despite the use of cradles, dummies,
rails, cables and extensive metering and recording technology.
Among the many witnesses to the crash, including numerous
engineers, technicians and Transport Ministry officials, are
James, Helen and Vaughan.
Vaughan is energetically masturbating through his jeans,
shielded by a sheaf of publicity folders which he holds in
his other hand.
There is a terrific metallic explosion as the motorcycle
strikes the front of the sedan. The two vehicles veer sideways
towards the line of startled spectators.
The motorcyclist and his bike sail over the hood of the car
and strike the windshield, then careen across the roof in a
black mass of fragments.
The car plunges ten feet back on its hawsers and comes to
rest astride its rails. The hood, windshield and roof have
been crushed by the impact. Inside the cabin, the lopsided
family lurch across each other, the decapitated torso of the
front-seat woman passenger embedded in the fractured
windshield.
The engineers wave to the crowd reassuringly and move toward
the motorcycle, which lies on its side fifty yards behind
the car. But it is Vaughan -- a black-jacketed figure striding
on long, uneven legs -- who arrives first at the bike.
For a moment it seems that he might try to lift it up himself,
but he then backs away to where technicians are picking up
pieces of the motorcyclist's body, and then turns away
completely and rejoins Helen and James.
Vaughan holds up the bundle of technical hand-outs in his
grip.
VAUGHAN
Get all the paper you can, Ballard.
Some of the stuff they're giving
away is terrific: 'Mechanisms of
Occupant Ejection', 'Tolerances of
the Human Face in Crash Impacts'...
Helen takes James's arm, smiling at him, nodding
encouragingly, as if urging a child across some mental hurdle.
HELEN
We can have a look at it again on
the monitors. They're showing it in
slow motion.
An audience of thirty or so gathers at the trestle tables to
watch a slowmotion replay on a huge television monitor. As
the hypnotic, grotesque ballet unfolds, the crowd's own
ghostly images stand silently in the background, hands and
faces unmoving while the collision is re-enacted. The dream-
like reversal of roles makes them seem less real than the
mannequins in the car.
James looks down at the silk-suited wife of a Ministry
official standing beside him. Her eyes watch the film with a
rapt gaze, as if she were seeing herself and her daughters
dismembered in the crash.
INT. VAUGHAN'S CAR -- NIGHT
James rides in Vaughan's car. Vaughan drives aggressively,
rolling the heavy car along the access roads, holding the
battered bumpers a few feet behind any smaller vehicle until
it moves out of the way.
VAUGHAN
I've always wanted to drive a crashed
car.
JAMES
You could get your wish at any moment.
VAUGHAN
No, I mean a crash with a history.
Camus's Facel Vega, or Nathaniel
West's station wagon, Grace Kelly's
Rover 3500. Fix it just enough to
get it rolling. Don't clean it, don't
touch anything else.
JAMES
Is that why you drive this car? I
take it that you see Kennedy's
assassination as a special kind of
car crash?
VAUGHAN
The case could be made.
They approach a major intersection. For almost the first
time on this drive, Vaughan applies the brakes.
The heavy car sways and goes into a long right-hand slide
which carries it across the path of a taxi. Flooring the
accelerator, Vaughan swerves in front of it, tires screaming
over the blaring horn of the taxi.
As they settle down, Vaughan reaches behind him and lifts a
briefcase off the back seat.
VAUGHAN
Take a look at this and tell me what
you think.
James opens the briefcase and slides out a thick packet of
glossy photographs, all of them marked up with coloured ink
pens.
The photos are culled from a variety of sources -- newspapers,
magazines, video stills, film frames -- blown up to uniform
8' x 10' size. Each one depicts a famous crash victim in the
prime of life, and each one has the wounds to come marked up
very explicitly -- lines circling their necks and pubic areas,
breasts and cheekbones shaded in, section lines across their
mouths and abdomens. Handwritten notes complement the circles
and arrows.
A second packet of photographs shows the cars in which these
famous people died. Each photo is marked to show which parts
of the cars destroyed or fused with which famous body part:
for example, a close-up of the dashboard and windshield from
the Camus car -- Michel Gallimard's Facel Vega -- is marked
'nasal bridge', 'soft palate', 'left zygomatic arch'.
JAMES
It's very... satisfying. I'm not
sure I understand why.
VAUGHAN
It's the future, Ballard, and you're
already part of it. For the first
time, a benevolent psychopathology
beckons towards us. For example, the
car crash is a fertilizing rather
than a destructive event -- a
liberation of sexual energy that
mediates the sexuality of those who
have died with an intensity impossible
in any other form. To fully understand
that, and to live that... that is my
project.
JAMES
What about the reshaping of the human
body by modern technology? I thought
that was your project.
VAUGHAN
A crude sci-fi concept that floats
on the surface and doesn't threaten
anybody. I use it to test the
resilience of my potential partners
in psychopathology.
The traffic has jammed up to a walking pace. Using his horn,
Vaughan forces the drivers in the slower lanes to back up
and let him across on to the hard shoulder. Once free, he
accelerates past the lines of traffic, occasionally scraping
the right flank of the Lincoln against the cement divider.
In the distance the airport car-park looms.
INT. AIRPORT CAR-PARK -- DAY
The Lincoln spirals its way up toward the upper levels of
the airport carpark. James just spots a sharp-faced young
woman in a very short skirt, an airport whore, provocatively
bent over a railing ostensibly to watch airplanes land and
take off, when Vaughan slams on the brakes and jumps out of
the car.
VAUGHAN
You drive.
The startled James numbly obeys, sliding over into the
driver's seat as Vaughan approaches the whore and begins to
negotiate with her. James gingerly maneuvers the boat-like
car to one side to allow traffic to pass as Vaughan returns
with the gum-chewing whore in tow.
As the girl, with short black hair and a boy's narrow-hipped
body, opens the passenger door, Vaughan hands her a joint
and lights it for her. Then, lifting her chin, he puts his
fingers in her mouth and plucks out the knot of gum, flicking
it away into the darkness.
VAUGHAN
Let's get rid of that. I don't want
you blowing it up my urethra.
EXT. AIRPORT ROADS -- NIGHT
James drives the Lincoln along the bizarrely lighted roads
that ring the airport. Vaughan and the whore are in the back
seat.
INT. LINCOLN -- NIGHT
James adjusts the rear-view mirror so that he can see into
the rear seat. Vaughan is having strange, disconnected sex
with the whore. James realizes that he can almost control
the sexual act behind him by the way in which he drives the
car.
It is, in that sense, a sexual threesome -- or, more properly,
a foursome, because the sex between Vaughan and the whore
takes place in the hooded grottoes of the luminescent dials,
surging needles and blinking lights of the black, brooding
Lincoln.
INT. FILM STUDIO. JAMES'S OFFICE -- DAY
James and Renata sort through some storyboards together at
the architect's table. Renata takes a few cast-offs and walks
past the window toward the filing cabinet. She takes a quick
peek out the window on her way.
RENATA
Your friend's still out there.
James leaves the table and looks out the window. Vaughan is
sitting in his car in the center of the parking-lot. Most of
the staff are leaving for home, taking their cars one by one
from the slots around Vaughan's dusty limousine.
RENATA
What does he want from you?
JAMES
Hard to say.
RENATA
I'm going to leave now. Do you want
a lift?
JAMES
No, thanks. I'll go with Vaughan.
EXT. FILM STUDIO. PARKING-LOT -- DUSK
James walks out into the nearly deserted parking-lot to find
two cars parked in front of Vaughan's Lincoln: a police patrol
car and Catherine's white sports car.
One policeman is inspecting the Lincoln, peering through the
dusty windows, with Vaughan fidgeting beside him. The other
stands beside Catherine's car, questioning her.
James slows guiltily as both policemen begin to talk to
Vaughan. Catherine spots James and walks crisply over to
him.
CATHERINE
They're questioning Vaughan about an
accident near the airport. Some
pedestrian... they think he was run
over intentionally.
JAMES
Vaughan isn't interested in
pedestrians.
As if taking their cue from this, the policemen walk back to
their car. Vaughan watches them go, head raised like a
periscope.
CATHERINE
You'd better drive him. He's a bit
shaky. I'll follow in my car. Where
is yours?
JAMES
At home. I couldn't face all this
traffic.
CATHERINE
I'd better come with you, then. Are
you sure you can drive?
As Catherine and James walk toward Vaughan, he reaches into
the rear seat of his car and pulls out a white sweatshirt.
As he takes off his denim jacket, the falling light picks
out the scars on his naked abdomen and chest, a constellation
of white chips that circle his body from the left armpit
down to his crotch.
EXT. JAMMED MOTORWAY -- NIGHT
The Lincoln has entered an immense traffic jam, and brake-
lights flare in the evening air. Vaughan sits with one arm
out the passenger window. He slaps the door impatiently,
pounding the panel with his fist.
A police car speeds down the descent lane of a flyover,
headlights and roof-lamps flashing. Ahead, two policemen
steer the traffic from the nearside curb. Warning tripods
set up on the pavement flash a rhythmic 'Slow... Slow...
Accident... Accident...'
Eventually, they begin to edge past the accident site, which
is lit by a circle of police spotlights. Three vehicles -- a
taxi, a limousine and a small sports sedan -- have collided
where an on-ramp joins the main roadway. A crowd has gathered
on the sidewalks and on the pedestrian bridge that spans the
road.
Beside the taxi, its three passengers lie in a group, blankets
swathing their chests and legs. First-aid men work on the
driver, an elderly man who sits upright against the fender
of his car, face and clothes speckled with drops of blood.
The limousine's passengers still sit in the deep cabin of
their car, their identities sealed behind the starred internal
window.
INT. VAUGHAN'S CAR -- NIGHT
Catherine has half hidden herself behind the passenger seat.
Her steady eyes follow the skid marks and loops of
bloodstained oil that cross the familiar macadam like a battle
diagram.
Vaughan, by contrast, leans out the window, both arms ready
as if about to seize one of the bodies. In some recess in
the back seat he has found a camera, which now swings from
his neck.
Siren whining, a third ambulance drives down the oncoming
lane. A police motorcyclist cuts in front of James and slows
to a halt, signalling him to wait and allow the ambulance to
pass. James stops the car.
Ten yards from them is the crushed limousine, the body of
the young chauffeur still lying on the ground beside it.
Three engineers work with surreal hand-tools and hydraulic
cutting and prying equipment at the rear doors of the
limousine. They sever the jammed door mechanism and pull
back the door to expose the passengers trapped inside the
compartment.
The two passengers, a pink-faced man in his fifties wearing
a black overcoat, and a younger woman with a pale, anemic
skin, still sit upright, staring blankly, in the rear seat.
A policeman pulls away the traveling rug that covers their
legs and waists. The woman's legs are bare, the older man's
feet splayed, apparently broken at the ankles. The woman's
skirt has ridden up around her waist, and her left hand holds
the window strap.
As the older man turns to the woman, one hand searching for
her, he slips sideways off the seat, his ankles kicking at
the clutter of leather valises and broken glass.
The traffic stream moves on. James eases the car forwards.
Vaughan raises the camera to his eye, lowering it from sight
when an ambulance attendant tries to knock it from his hands.
The pedestrian bridge passes overhead. Half out of the car,
Vaughan peers at the scores of legs pressed against the metal
railings, then opens the door and dives out.
EXT. MOTORWAY VERGE -- NIGHT
As James pulls the Lincoln on to the verge, Vaughan runs
back to the pedestrian bridge, darting in and out of the
cars. James and Catherine get out of the car.
As James closes the door, he notices that the blood of one
of the accident victims has somehow been splashed on to the
door handle, and that some of it is now on his hand.
He finds a section of newspaper at the side of the road and
wipes the blood off his hand. When he looks up, he realizes
that Catherine has followed Vaughan back to the accident
site.
EXT. JAMMED MOTORWAY -- NIGHT
James walks back alone, eventually spotting them among the
throng of spectators, Catherine watching Vaughan's scarred
face intently, provocatively, as he photographs every aspect
of the accident.
There is a calmly festive and pervasive sexuality in the air
among the onlookers, and even a congregational feeling as
one group of engineers works on the crushed sports sedan,
prying at the metal roof which has been flattened on to the
heads of the occupants.
And now Vaughan poses an only slightly reluctant Catherine
against the backdrop of the stricken taxi as though she were
one of the shaken survivors of the accident.
When the roof of the sports sedan is levered up, the hair of
the driver, its only passenger, comes off with it as though
scalped, stuck to the roofliner with drying blood. But it's
soon apparent that it's not hair, but rather a cheap, tangled,
platinum blond wig.
Vaughan makes his way over to the sedan, intrigued by the
dangling 'scalp', which is almost phosphorescent in the road-
rescue work lights. Catherine trails obediently behind him,
like a harshly disciplined puppy.
When the body of the driver is exposed to the lights, the
effect is doubly grotesque, for not only is the driver dead
and partially crushed, but he is also a cross-dresser:
Seagrave, in Jayne Mansfield drag. His long, greasy hair is
tied up in a knot on his head, he is unshaven, his huge,
fake bosom is bloody and askew; his bloated, muscular body
strains against the pink 60s skirt and jacket, the blue suede
boots with high heels.
There is also a dead Chihuahua bitch inside the car with
Seagrave, which Vaughan manages to move with his foot until
a cop, outraged, shoos him away. The dog is stiff with rigor
mortis, obviously dead long before the crash.
An excited Vaughan has spotted James and now approaches him,
breathless.
VAUGHAN
It's Seagrave. He was worried that
we would never do Jayne Mansfield's
crash, now that the police were
cracking down. So he did it himself.
Vaughan turns back to look at the wreck again, almost
reverent. This is Seagrave's own solitary work of art.
VAUGHAN
(shakes his head)
The dog -- God, the dog is brilliant,
perfect. I wonder where he got it?
Now Vaughan turns to James, his face flushed, incandescent
with joy.
VAUGHAN
Come with me, James. I have to
document it.
Vaughan lopes off toward the Seagrave wreck.
But James hangs back, watching, as the passengers from the
taxi are carried on stretchers to an ambulance. The dead
chauffeur of the limousine lies with a blanket over his face,
while a doctor and two ambulance men climb into the rear
compartment.
Beyond them, Vaughan begins to snap away at every possible
aspect of Seagrave's wreck, beginning with the dead Chihuahua.
EXT. MOTORWAY VERGE -- NIGHT
Some time later, as the crowd disperses and the traffic begins
to flow normally, James kneels beside the Lincoln and shows
Vaughan the blood on his door. Catherine sits in the back
seat.
JAMES
We must have driven through a pool
of blood. If the police stop you
again, they may impound the car while
they have the blood analyzed.
Vaughan kneels beside him and inspects the smears of blood.
VAUGHAN
You're right, Ballard. There's an
all-night car-wash in the airport
service area.
Vaughan rises and holds the door open for James, who sits
behind the wheel, expecting Vaughan to walk around the car
and sit beside him. Instead, Vaughan pulls open the rear
door and climbs in beside Catherine.
As they set off, Vaughan's camera lands on the front seat.
INT. VAUGHAN'S CAR -- NIGHT
As they drive, James watches Catherine in the rear-view
mirror. She sits in the center of the back seat, elbows
forward on her knees, looking over his shoulder at the
speeding lights of the expressway. At the first traffic light,
she smiles at James reassuringly.
Vaughan sits like a bored gangster beside her, his left knee
leaning against her thigh. One hand rubs his groin absent-
mindedly. He stares at the nape of her neck, running his
eyes along the profiles of her cheek and shoulder.
EXT. CAR-WASH -- NIGHT
Near the airport, the Lincoln joins a line of cars waiting
their turn to pass through the automatic car-wash. In the
darkness, the three nylon rollers drum against the sides and
roof of a taxi parked in the washing station, water and soap
solution jetting from the metal gantries.
Fifty yards away, the two night attendants sit in their glass
cubicle beside the deserted fuel pumps, reading their comic
books and playing a radio.
INT. VAUGHAN'S CAR -- NIGHT
The car ahead advances a few yards, its brake-lights
illuminating the interior of the Lincoln, covering the trio
with a pink sheen. Through the rear-view mirror James sees
that Catherine is leaning against the back seat, her shoulder
pressed tightly into Vaughan's. Her eyes are fixed on
Vaughan's chest, on the scars around his injured nipples,
shining like points of light.
James edges the Lincoln forward a few feet. When he turns
around, he sees that Vaughan is holding in his cupped right
hand his wife's bare breast.
James fumbles for change as Vaughan caresses Catherine's
nipple in the back seat. Catherine looks down at this breast
with rapt eyes, as if seeing it for the first time, fascinated
by its unique geometry.
EXT. CAR-WASH -- NIGHT
Their car is alone in the washing bay. A voice rings out.
Cigarette in hand, one of the attendants stands in the wet
darkness, beckoning to James, who inserts his coins in the
pay slot and closes the window.
Water jets on to the car, clouding the windows and shutting
the trio into the interior.
INT. VAUGHAN'S CAR -- NIGHT
Within their blue grotto, Vaughan lies diagonally across the
back seat. Catherine kneels across him, skirt rolled around
her waist. The light refracted through the soap solution
jetting across the windows covers their bodies with a
luminescent glow, like two semi-metallic human beings of the
future making love in a chromium bower.
The gantry engine begins to drum. The rollers pound across
the hood of the Lincoln and roar forward to the windshield,
driving the soap solution into a whirlwind of froth. Catherine
settles over Vaughan, and as the rollers drum against the
roof and doors, Vaughan drives his pelvis upwards, almost
lifting his buttocks off the seat.
In the mounting roar of the rollers, she and Vaughan rock
together, Vaughan holding her breasts together with his palms
as if trying to force them into a single globe. When his
hands move away to her buttocks, James can see that her
breasts have been bruised by Vaughan's fingers, the marks
forming a pattern like crash injuries.
At just this moment, Catherine looks into James's eyes in an
instant of complete lucidity. Her expression shows both irony
and affection, an acceptance of a sexual logic they both
recognize and have prepared themselves for.
James sits quietly in the front seat as the white soap sluices
across the roof and doors like liquid lace. Catherine cries
out, a gasp of pain cut off by Vaughan's strong hand across
her mouth. He sits back with her legs across his hips,
slapping her with his free hand. His sweaty face is clamped
in an expression of anger and distress. The blows raise
blunted weals on Catherine's arm and hips.
EXT. DESERTED MOTORWAY -- NIGHT
James drives the Lincoln home along a deserted motorway.
INT. VAUGHAN'S CAR -- NIGHT
The street-lamps illuminate Vaughan's sleeping face in the
rear of the car, scarred mouth lying open like a child's
against the sweat-soaked seat.
Catherine sits forward, freeing herself from Vaughan. She
touches James's shoulder in a gesture of domestic affection.
In the mirror, James can see the weals on her cheek and neck,
the bruised mouth that deforms her nervous smile.
EXT. BALLARD APT. BUILDING -- NIGHT
The Lincoln pulls up at the Ballards' apartment building.
James and Catherine get out and stand in the darkness beside
the now-immaculate black car. Vaughan is still asleep in the
back. James takes Catherine's arm to steady her, holding her
bag in his hand.
As they walk toward the entrance, Vaughan gets up and climbs
unsteadily behind the steering wheel. Without looking back
at James and Catherine, he starts the engine and quietly
drives off.
INT. BALLARD APT. BUILDING. ELEVATOR -- NIGHT
In the elevator, James holds Catherine closely, lovingly.
INT. BALLARD APT. BEDROOM -- NIGHT
That night, James kneels over Catherine as she lies diagonally
across the bed, her small feet resting on his pillow, one
hand over her right breast.
She watches him with a calm and affectionate gaze as he
explores her body and bruises, feeling them gently with his
fingers, lips and cheeks, tracing and interpreting the raw
symbols that Vaughan's hands and mouth have left across her
skin.
INT. AIRPORT CONVENTION CENTER. AUTO SHOW -- DAY
James and the crippled Gabrielle visit the annual auto show,
which occupies the immense halls of the airport convention
center. He watches appreciatively as she swings herself on
her shackled legs among the hundreds of cars displayed on
their stands.
Gabrielle approaches the imposing Mercedes stand and, pivoting
about on her heels, seems to take immense pleasure from these
immaculate vehicles, placing her scarred hands on their
paintwork, rolling her injured hips against them like an
unpleasant cat.
She soon draws the attention of a young salesman, who tries
hard not to notice her scars and braces.
SALESMAN
Is there something here that interests
you?
GABRIELLE
The white sports model. Could you
help me into it, please? I'd like to
see if I can fit into a car designed
for a normal body.
Both James and Gabrielle enjoy the salesman's discomfort as
he helps her into the Mercedes sports car.
She does her best to make it difficult, deliberately snagging
her leg brace clips on the soft leather of the driver's side
armrest, forcing him to unhook her and to touch her deformed
thighs and knees while manipulating her legs into the
footwell.
EXT. AIRPORT CONVENTION CENTER. PARKING-LOT -- LATE DAY
James makes love to Gabrielle in the front seat of her small
invalid car, deliberately involving the complex hand controls
in the mechanics of their sex.
As he slips his hand around her right breast, he collides
with the strange geometry of the car's interior.
Unexpected controls jut from beneath the steering wheel. A
cluster of chromium treadles is fastened to a steel pivot
clamped to the steering column. An extension on the floor-
mounted gear lever rises laterally, giving way to a vertical
wing of chromium metal moulded into the reverse of a driver's
palm.
Amid this small forest of machinery, James explores
Gabrielle's new and strange body, feeling his way among the
braces and straps of her underwear, the unfamiliar planes of
her hips and legs, the unique culs-de-sac, odd declensions
of skin and musculature.
Gabrielle lies back. She lifts her left foot so that the leg
brace rests against his knee. In the inner surface of her
thigh the straps form marked depressions, troughs of reddened
skin hollowed out in the forms of buckles and clasps. James
unshackles the left leg brace and runs his fingers along the
hot, corrugated skin of the deep buckle groove.
The exposed portions of her body are joined together by the
loosened braces and straps. Through the fading afternoon
light the airplanes move across their heads along the east --
west runways of the airport. Gabrielle's hand moves across
his chest, opening his shirt, her fingers finding the small
scars below his collarbone, the imprint of the instrument
binnacle of his own crashed car. She runs the tip of her
tongue into each of the wound-scars on his chest and abdomen.
James exposes her breasts, feeling for the wound areas which
surround them. As he tries to enter her, she puts her hand
over his mouth.
GABRIELLE
Don't. Not there.
She spreads her left leg and exposes a deep, trench-like
wound-scar in her inner thigh. She directs his hand to this
neo-sex organ.
GABRIELLE
Do it there. And then after that, do
it here.
Gabrielle rotates over him so that he can see the wounds of
her right hip. James turns her back, pulls her thigh in
between his own thighs and enters her scar. With his mouth
fastened on the scar beneath her left breast, his tongue
exploring its sickle-shaped trough, he comes almost
immediately.
INT. FILM STUDIO -- NIGHT
We float through the studio past a one-story-high automobile
battery. Its six cells are transparent and each one contains
something submerged in the bubbly water that represents
battery acid: a two-man submarine, a scuba diver, a small
shark...
James stands pacing as the dolly shot is reset, lighting is
adjusted. An AD brings him a cellular phone.
AD
Somebody named Vaughan. Do you want
it?
James nods. The AD presses the TALK button and hands the
phone to James.
JAMES
Hello? Ballard.
INT. TATTOO PARLOR -- NIGHT
We are close on Vaughan's scarred mouth.
VAUGHAN
I need to see you, Ballard. I need
to talk to you about the project.
JAMES
(phone)
Where are you?
EXT. MALL. TATTOO PARLOR -- NIGHT
James drives up to the tattoo parlor, which is located in a
small mall. It is next to a small, private medical clinic,
and has the same antiseptic, untextured look of the ear,
nose and throat suite next door.
INT. TATTOO PARLOR -- NIGHT
James enters to discover Vaughan getting a wound tattoo on
his abdomen, one that looks as though it could have been
made by the fluted lower edge of a plastic steering wheel.
The woman giving Vaughan the tattoo is sexless and
professional. She could be a nurse or a hospital dietician.
James sits next to them, barely acknowledged by the woman.
Vaughan has messy papers spread out in front of him that
include stylized sketches of famous crash wounds, photos of
Andy Warhol's scars, automotive styling-detail drawings from
a 50s Detroit design studio.
VAUGHAN
(to tattooist)
You're making it too clean.
TATTOOIST
Medical tattoos are supposed to be
clean.
VAUGHAN
This isn't a medical tattoo. This is
a prophetic tattoo. Prophesy is dirty
and ragged. Make it dirty and ragged.
TATTOOIST
(a hint of sarcasm)
Prophetic? Is this personal prophesy
or global prophesy?
VAUGHAN
There's no difference. James -- I
want you to let her give you this
one.
Vaughan spreads out a stained scrap of paper as though it
were a sacred piece of parchment. On it is a fiercely sketched
wound that looks as though it were made by the Lincoln's
hood ornament.
JAMES
Where do you think that one should
go?
Vaughan spreads his legs in a mechanical, unsexual way and
grabs the right inner thigh of his greasy jeans.
VAUGHAN
It should go here.
INT. VAUGHAN'S CAR -- NIGHT
We are close on the fresh tattoo on James's inner thigh. It
looks more like a cartoon version of a wound than a real
wound. We can see it because James's trousers are down around
his knees.
Vaughan's face comes into frame. He gently kisses the tattoo.
James lifts Vaughan's face to his own and kisses his mouth,
touches his tongue to each of the scars around Vaughan's
mouth.
EXT. UNDERPASS NEAR AUTO-WRECKER'S YARD -- NIGHT
We see that the Lincoln sits in the shadow of an underpass
at the edge of an abandoned auto-wrecker's yard, looking
quite comfortable next to the stacks of crushed auto hulks
and piles of wheels and bumpers visible through the chain-
link fence.
INT. VAUGHAN'S CAR -- NIGHT
James and Vaughan show their wounds to each other, exposing
the scars on their chests and hands to the beckoning injury
sites on the interior of the car, to the pointed sills of
the chromium ashtrays, to the curtain of wheel covers hanging
on a web of twisted wire just outside the car window.
They touch, embrace, kiss.
EXT. UNDERPASS NEAR AUTO-WRECKER'S YARD -- NIGHT
James steps unsteadily from the Lincoln into the roadway,
followed for an instant by Vaughan's uncertain arm reaching
for him.
He moves away from the car, along the palisade to the
overgrown entrance of the wrecker's yard. Above him, the
cars on the motorway move like motorized wrecks.
EXT. AUTO-WRECKER'S YARD -- NIGHT
Just outside the fence of the auto-wrecker's yard, a wreck,
its engine and wheels removed, sits on its axles. James opens
the door on its rusting hinges. A confetti of fragmented
glass covers the front passenger seat.
James gets in and sits there for a moment, crouched over the
mudstreaked instrument panel, his knees tightened against
his chest wall. A moment or two of this strangely comforting
foetal security, and then James unfolds and begins to get
back out of the car.
An engine starts with a roar. As James steps back into the
roadway he is briefly aware of a heavy black vehicle
accelerating toward him from the shadow of the overpass where
he and Vaughan embraced together. Its white-walled tires
tear through the broken beer bottles and cigarette packs in
the gutter, mount the narrow curb and hurtle on toward him.
Knowing that Vaughan will not stop, will kill him, James
presses himself against the concrete wall. The Lincoln swerves
after him, its right-hand fender striking the rear wheel
housing of the car James has just left. It swings away,
ripping the open passenger door from its hinges.
A column of exploding dust and torn newspaper rises into the
air as it slides sideways across the access road. The Lincoln
remounts the curb on the far side of the road, crushing a
ten-yard section of the wooden palisade.
James can see Vaughan flicking a look back, his hard eyes
calculating whether or not he can make a second pass at him.
The rear wheels regain their traction on the road surface
and the car swings away on to the motorway above.
James leans against the roof of the abandoned car. The
passenger door has been crushed into the front fender, the
deformed metal welded together by the impact.
James retches suddenly and emptily.
Shreds of torn paper eddy through the air around him, pasting
themselves at various points against the crushed door panel
and radiator hood.
EXT. BALLARD APT. BALCONY -- DAY
James sits on the balcony of his apartment, watching the
sky. A single-engined airplane floats above the motorway, a
glass dragonfly carried by the sun. It seems to hang
motionless, the propeller rotating slowly like a toy
aircraft's. The light pours from its wings in a ceaseless
fountain.
Below it, the traffic moves sluggishly along the crowded
concrete lanes, the roofs of the vehicles forming a continuous
carapace of polished cellulose.
Suddenly, Catherine is behind him. She puts her hands on his
shoulders and he turns to her as though in a dream, gestures
toward the airplane.
JAMES
I thought that was you, up there.
CATHERINE
My last lesson's next week.
(pause)
James... my car...
James can see now that Catherine is frightened. He takes her
hand.
JAMES
What? Tell me.
EXT. BALLARD APT. DRIVEWAY -- DAY
Catherine's car sits in the driveway. The paintwork along
the left-hand side has been marked in some minor collision.
Catherine and James stand examining the mark soberly,
archeologists faced with a problematic hieroglyph.
CATHERINE
I wasn't driving. I'd left the car
in the parking-lot at the airport.
Could it have been deliberate?
JAMES
One of your suitors?
CATHERINE
One of my suitors.
He kneels down to examine the assault on her car.
He feels the abrasions on the left-hand door and body panels,
explores with his hand the deep trench that runs the full
length of the car from the crushed tail-light to the front
headlamp. The imprint of the other car's heavy front bumper
is clearly marked on the rear wheel guard.
James rises and takes Catherine's arm. He opens the passenger
door for her.
JAMES
It's Vaughan. He's courting you.
Let's go find him.
EXT. DESERTED MOTORWAY -- LATE DAY
Catherine's car hurtles along a deserted six-lane highway.
INT. CATHERINE'S CAR -- LATE DAY
James is driving. He looks across at Catherine. She sits
very still, pale, one hand on the window-sill.
JAMES
The traffic... where is everyone?
They've all gone away.
CATHERINE
I'd like to go back. James...
JAMES
Not yet. It's only beginning.
EXT. FAMILIAR STRETCHES OF ROAD -- LATE DAY INTO NIGHT
They drive past stretches of road we have seen before: the
underpass near the wrecker's yard, several accident sites
and filling stations, etc.
EXT. AIRPORT FILLING STATION -- NIGHT
One of the filling stations is near the airport. As they
cruise by it, they spot Vera Seagrave talking to a girl
attendant at the pumps.
James turns into the forecourt. Vera is dressed in a heavily
insulated leather jacket, as though she were about to leave
on an Antarctic expedition.
James calls to her from the car.
JAMES
Vera! Vera Seagrave!
At first she fails to recognize him. Her firm eyes cut across
him to Catherine's elegant figure, as if suspicious of her
cross-legged posture.
James gets out of the car and approaches Vera. He points to
the suitcases in the rear seat of Vera's car.
JAMES
Are you leaving, Vera? Listen, I'm
trying to find Vaughan.
Vera finishes with the girl and, still staring at Catherine,
steps into her car.
VERA
The police are after him. An American
serviceman was killed on the Northolt
overpass.
James puts his hand on the windshield, but she switches on
the windshield wipers, almost cutting the knuckle of his
wrist.
VERA
I was with him in the car at the
time.
Before James can stop her, she accelerates toward the exit
and turns into the fast evening traffic.
James gets back into Catherine's car.
JAMES
I think he'll be waiting for us at
the airport.
CATHERINE
James...
James turns the car into the traffic.
EXT. AIRPORT ROADWAYS -- NIGHT
Vaughan is waiting for them at the airport flyover. He makes
no attempt to hide himself, pushing his heavy car into the
passing traffic stream.
Apparently uninterested in them, Vaughan lies against his
door sill, almost asleep at the wheel as he surges forward
when the lights change. His left hand drums across the rim
of the steering wheel as he swerves the Lincoln to and fro
across the road surface.
His face is fixed in a rigid mask as he cuts in and out of
the traffic lanes, surging ahead in the fast lane until he
is abreast of them and then sliding back behind them, allowing
other cars to cut between them and then taking up a watchful
position in the slow lane.
James can see that Vaughan's car has become even more battered
than it was before, scarred with many impact points, a rear
window broken, cracked headlamps, a body panel detached from
the off-side rear wheel housing, the front bumper hanging
from the chassis pinion, its rusting lower curvature touching
the ground as Vaughan corners.
When they slow down for a line of tankers, Vaughan makes his
move. He pulls up beside them and then cuts viciously across
three lanes of traffic to hit them broadside. The nose of
the Lincoln just nicks the tail of the light sports car,
which spins down the road.
The Lincoln keeps on going, its vast momentum taking it into
the guard rails of the exit ramp, and then over them.
Catherine and James slam spinning into the tail of a tanker
which has all but stopped. The traffic behind them has already
been slowing and thus easily avoids hitting the sports car
when it comes bouncing to a halt across two traffic lanes.
Catherine lies back, sprawled in her seat, eyes wide and
staring with fright, body rigid, bleeding from a small cut
on her cheekbone. James jumps out of the car, then immediately
slows with a limp. He continues, working his way doggedly
through the motionless cars to the edge of the ramp.
When he looks over the edge, James sees that Vaughan's Lincoln
has plunged into the top of an airline coach which was running
on the roadway below. With the Lincoln now inside it, the
coach then slewed sideways and crashed into several other
vehicles.
Wreckage, flames and blood are everywhere.
James's eyes are wide: not with horror, but with excitement.
EXT. POLICE POUND -- NIGHT
Catherine and James stand at the gatehouse of the police
pound, collecting the gate key from the mustachioed, sharp-
eyed young officer there.
They then walk down the lines of seized and abandoned
vehicles. The pound is in darkness, lit only by the street-
lights reflected in the dented chromium.
They soon find Vaughan's crashed Lincoln, massive and
charismatic even here, even in death. James manages to wrench
open the passenger-side rear door enough to allow them both
to get inside.
INT. VAUGHAN'S CAR -- NIGHT
Sitting in the rear seat of the Lincoln, Catherine and James
make brief, ritual love, her buttocks held tightly in his
hands as she sits across his waist.
EXT. POLICE POUND -- NIGHT
Afterwards, they walk among the cars. The beams of small
headlamps cut across their knees. An open car has stopped
beside the gatehouse. Two women sit behind the windshield,
peering into the darkness.
A pause, and then the car moves forward, its driver turning
the wheel until the headlamps illuminate the remains of the
dismembered vehicle in which Vaughan died.
The woman in the passenger seat steps out and pauses briefly
by the gates. It is Helen Remington. When she helps the driver
out of the car, James and Catherine see that it is the
crippled Gabrielle, her leg shackles clacking as she and
Helen begin to walk toward Vaughan's car.
They stroll haltingly, arms around each other, like strange
lovers in a cemetery visiting a favorite mausoleum. At one
point, Helen kisses Gabrielle's hand, and it is obvious that
they have become lovers.
James and Catherine circle away from the couple and make
their way back to the gatehouse.
In the depths of the pound, Helen helps Gabrielle into the
Lincoln. In the darkness of the back seat, they embrace.
EXT. POLICE POUND. GATEHOUSE -- NIGHT
James stands talking to the officer at the gatehouse window,
holding Catherine's arm around his waist, pressing her fingers
against the muscles of his stomach.
JAMES
I'd like to register a claim for the
black 1963 Lincoln, the one that
came in a couple of days ago. Is
there a form I can fill out?
POUND OFFICER
There certainly is, but you'll have
to come back between 7:30 and 4:30
to get one. What's your attachment
to that thing?
JAMES
A close friend owned it.
POUND OFFICER
Well, it's got to be a total write-
off. I don't see what you could
possibly do with it.
EXT. CROWDED RAIN-STREAKED ROADWAY -- SUNSET
We are close on the huge, battle-scarred grill of Vaughan's
Lincoln, now brought back to swaying, bellowing life.
The restoration of the Lincoln is as Vaughan would have wanted
it: just enough to get it running and nothing more, with
ugly brown primer slapped on to the replaced panels, and
whatever was cracked, scraped and crumpled still cracked,
scraped and crumpled -- a mobile accident rolling on badly
misaligned wheels.
INT. VAUGHAN'S LINCOLN -- SUNSET
We pull back to see James alone in the car. The road is
crowded and manic; James is intense, hard, exhilarated, alert --
a hunter. The car is full of junk, pop cans, styrofoam
containers, all suggesting that he has basically been living
in the car for some time.
James is searching for something among the lanes of traffic,
threading the immense car in and out of the shifting holes
that appear and disappear, driving with a fluid recklessness
that is recognizably Vaughan's style.
Suddenly, James becomes tense, focused: he has spotted what
he has been looking for.
EXT. CROWDED RAIN-STREAKED ROADWAY -- SUNSET
Through the Lincoln's insect- and oil-smeared windshield we
can see the unmistakable shape of Catherine's white sports
car, itself winding its way aggressively through the braids
of vehicles.
The Lincoln lurches out on to the narrow emergency lane and
takes off after Catherine's car, scraping the low concrete
wall as it wallows from side to side, clipping the corner of
a truck that has made the lane too narrow.
INT. CATHERINE'S SPORTS CAR -- SUNSET
In her mirrors, Catherine spots the Lincoln charging toward
her along the emergency lane. Her demeanor is just as
predatory as James's, and she does not hesitate to react.
Catherine cranks the steering wheel to the right and dives
across two lanes of startled vehicles to fishtail down a
little-used utility access road.
Behind her, and closing rapidly, the lumbering Lincoln follows
suit.
EXT. UTILITY ROAD -- SUNSET
Around the decreasing-radius curve of the utility road, the
more nimble sports car stretches out the distance between it
and the Lincoln, but once the road uncurls, the booming V-8
allows the American car to gobble up the ground until it is
nose to tail with Catherine's car.
James begins to bump the tail of the sports car, breaking
off the accelerator for a beat to let the white car -- which
looks especially fragile and delicate by comparison -- get
away a bit, then charging back until it makes contact.
Now the road ahead curves again, and just as Catherine enters
the curve, James gives her a seriously violent jolt. The
rear of her car slews off on to the grass verge, almost comes
back, then loses traction completely.
Catherine's car spins backwards off the road, then rolls
unceremoniously, almost gently, down a small grade, shedding
bits and pieces, until it finally flops to a halt on its
side in front of a cement culvert.
INT. VAUGHAN'S LINCOLN -- SUNSET
Momentum has carried James past the point where Catherine
has left the road. James stands on the brakes until the
Lincoln shudders to a halt. He jams the shift lever into
reverse and backs up, tires squealing and smoking in protest,
to where he saw her go over the edge.
EXT. UTILITY ROAD -- SUNSET
James jumps out of the car and stands for a beat at the edge
of the road on the wet grass, savoring the tableau below
him.
Catherine lies sprawled, half out of the car, her tight black
dress hiked up over her hips, one arm across her face as
though shielding her eyes from the sight of her ruined,
lightly smoking sports car.
James eagerly makes his way down the wet grass of the hill
toward Catherine. As he approaches her, she begins to move,
stretching her arms behind her head, as though awakening
from a deep sleep. He can now see that her dress is wet,
soaked by the dirty water trickling out of the culvert and
now dammed up by her torso.
James kneels close to Catherine.
JAMES
Catherine. Are you all right? Are
you hurt?
Catherine's eyes flutter open. Her mascara is smeared, as
though she has been crying, and there is wetness at the
corners of her eyes. Her upper lip is bruised and beginning
to purple, and there is blood on her forehead and at the
corner of her mouth.
CATHERINE
James, I... I don't know... I think
I'm all right...
James slips her panties down her legs, leaving them around
her left ankle when they snag on the one high-heeled shoe
she still has on. He gently rotates her on to her right hip,
undoes his fly, then lies down on the concrete with her,
ignoring the light, muddy stream which now begins to soak
the thigh of his trousers. Kissing the back of her neck, he
enters her from behind.
JAMES
Maybe the next one, darling... Maybe
the next one...
We pull up and away from the couple on the ground until we
lose them behind the overturned sports car, then rise and
pivot until we are once again watching the frantic lanes of
traffic hurtling by obliviously only a few meters away.
THE END
Crash
Writers : J.G. Ballard David Cronenberg
Genres : Drama Thriller Romance
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pavlovian fear conditioning is an extensively studied model for
stress and anxiety - like disorders . in this form of
learning
, an animal is exposed to pairings of a neutral
conditioned stimulus ( cs ) such as a light or tone , with a
fear - inducing unconditioned stimulus ( us ) , such as a mild foot
shock , and comes to exhibit a conditioned fear response ( cr ) to
the cs .
the cr includes freezing , increased startle reflexes ,
autonomic changes , analgesia , and behavioral response suppression .
experimental extinction is a behavioral technique leading to
suppression of the acquired fear , that is , a decrease in the
amplitude and frequency of a cr as a function of nonreinforced cs
presentations .
experimental extinction is assumed to reflect an
active learning process that is distinct from acquisition of fear
and requires additional training to develop [ 25 ] .
while clearly of importance to survival , the expression of
emotional associations may become disadvantageous when
the conditioned cue ceases to predict the appearance of danger . in
that respect ,
the ability to extinguish emotional responses in the
face of a no - longer relevant conditioned cue is an essential part
of a healthy emotional memory system , particularly with respect to
phobias , panic disorders , and posttraumatic stress disorder [ ptsd ;
[ 4 , 68 ] ] .
thus , the suppression of the fear response ( i.e. , extinction ) receives increasing attention , since it could become
an effective intervention for the treatment of fear - related
disorders .
for example , even the completely extinguished fear
can be recovered spontaneously after the passage of time
[ 9 , 10 ] , or be reinstated by presentations of the us alone
[ 11 , 12 ] , or be renewed by placing the animal in a context
different from the one in which it was extinguished .
this is congruent with the notion that extinction is a form of
relearning ( of a cs - no us or inhibitory association ) rather
than unlearning ( of the cs - us association ) .
accordingly , one suggestion put forward that extinction suppresses the expression of an
intact underlying fear response , and extinction memory is labile
and weak compared with the fear conditioning itself .
hence ,
understanding the factors that facilitate or impair extinction may
aid in accelerating behavior therapy for the treatment of anxiety
disorders . despite the efficacy of behavior therapy for human anxiety
disorders ,
extinction - like treatments require repeated cue
exposures and are vulnerable to reversal by a number of
environmental factors , particularly stress .
the effects of stressful experiences on cognition are manifested
through the activation of multiple mechanisms and operating over
different time courses and have been linked to the onset of a
variety of affective disorders .
stress can produce deleterious
effects on the brain and behavior , and it contributes towards
impaired health and an increased susceptibility to disease and
mental disorders [ 15 , 16 ] .
investigations into the interaction
between stressful experiences and memory haves focused mainly on
the behavioral and neural mechanisms of memory acquisition ( i.e. ,
fear conditioning ) , but not on memory extinction , even though
extinction is used for the treatment of psychiatric conditions
based on learned fear , such as phobias , panic , generalized
anxiety , as well as ptsd .
extensive evidence indicates that the amygdala and the prefrontal
cortex are key structures in the response to stress and its
effects on learning and memory .
importantly , it has been shown
that extinction of fear memory requires plasticity in both the
medial prefrontal cortex ( mpfc ) and the basolateral amygdala [ bla ;
[ 1719 ] ] . in this review
, we will discuss the relevance of
the prefrontal cortex - amygdala circuit as a key mechanism for
understanding stress - induced alterations occurring during the
extinction of fear .
there are intricate relationships between stress and cognitive
processes . on the one hand ,
cognitive processes are
necessary to cope adequately with a stressor , both actively and
passively , in that a subject has to be aware that there is a
stressor and at the same time it has to learn that the stressor
can be controlled by an appropriate response .
adaptation to stress
occurs when the acquired response is successful in reducing the
impact of the stressor . if not
there is strong evidence that stress and stress
hormones play an important role in the modulation of cognitive
processes .
it should be noted that in the fear conditioning
paradigm , stress plays a role during conditioning and at least
during the first stages of extinction training .
thus , we
differentiate here between the aversive situation in the learning
paradigm itself , for example , exposure to a foot shock , and the
effects of additional exposure to an out - of - context stressor on
fear extinction .
when examining the effects of exposure to an out - of - context
stressor on fear extinction , we found that the stressor increased
resistance to extinction ( h. reizel , i. akirav , and m.
maroun , unpublished observation ; figure 1 ) .
specifically , after contextual fear conditioning
( using a us of 3 foot shocks of 0.5 ma each ) , control rats
gradually extinguished their freezing ( cr ) when placed in the
extinction box ( cs ) for 3 consecutive days , for 5 minutes each
time .
by contrast , the experimental rats were exposed to the
out - of - context stressor on being placed on an elevated
platform for 30 minutes immediately after the first extinction
session .
animals placed on the platform exhibited behavioral
freezing , that is , immobility for up to 10 minutes ,
defecation , and urination [ 21 , 22 ] .
this stressor was found to
increase plasma corticosterone levels by 38% as compared with
nave rats and we have recently found that it impairs long - term potentiation in the ca1 area of the hippocampus
and in the bla - medial prefrontal pathway . in the contextual fear extinction experiment , the stressed rats showed
increased levels of freezing in the extinction box even 48 hours
after a single exposure to the elevated platform .
this suggests
that exposure to the stressor had the long - term effect of
impairing the extinction of fear .
we found that exposure to stress had a similar effect on
consolidation of the extinction of auditory fear conditioning ( see
later , see below , or ahead ) .
the impairing effects of the elevated
platform on auditory fear extinction also persisted for 48 hours
following exposure to the stressor .
reported that exposure to three episodes of stress ending 24 hours before fear conditioning significantly
attenuated the rate of cued fear extinction relative to
nonstressed controls .
shumake et al . showed
that rats that were selectively bred for increased susceptibility
to learned helplessness show resistance to extinction of
conditioned fear .
furthermore , kellett and kokkinidis
showed that amygdala kindling , which enhances
emotionality , impaired the extinction of fear - potentiated startle ,
and rats showed increased levels of fear .
they also found that
electrical stimulation of the amygdala restored extinguished fear
responses and that the fear reinstatement was specific to the
extinction context . in a study with rainbow trout , moreira
et al . compared two lines of fish that exhibit divergent
endocrine responsiveness to stressors : the high - responders ( hr )
and low - responders ( lr ; the stressed ) .
postconditioning , the
fish were tested by presentation of the cs at weekly intervals for
4 weeks , with no further reinforcement , and the extinction of the
cr in the two lines was compared . the number of individuals within
each line whose plasma cortisol levels indicated a stress response
when exposed to the cs was significantly greater among the lr than
hr fish at 14 and 21 days , with no hr fish falling into the
stress - response category at 21 days .
thus , the stressed fish did
not extinguish as well as the hr fish .
it is important to understand why exposure to stress impairs
extinction learning , and here we put forward four possible
explanations .
one possibility is that extinction memory is labile
and weak compared with fear conditioning itself , and thus exposure
to a stressful experience interferes with the process of
extinction learning or with the retrieval of information .
second ,
it has been shown that a stressful experience following or
preceding a threatening or fear - related learning event enhances
retention . however , in extinction , the animals need to
learn to suppress their fear response that is associated
with the cs .
thus , the aversiveness of the stressful experience
may counteract the extinguished emotional response .
further , it is
possible that preexposure to the stressful experience increases
resistance to extinction through sensitization , leading to the
occurrence of a conditioned fear response even to a less intense
reminder of the original us .
thus , retrieval of the cs - us
association ( i.e. , acquisition ) overcomes the cs - no us association
( i.e. , extinction ) following the sensitization effect , making
extinction more difficult to learn .
however , this can hardly
explain why exposure to an unrelated stressful experience , such as
an elevated platform , should sensitize the animals to respond as
if to the us during extinction training .
a fourth possibility is
that resistance to extinction is not related to sensitization or
to the enhancement of an unspecific fear response .
accordingly , if
the enhanced fear memory is expressed only when stressed animals
are exposed to the cs , it may indicate that this response is
sustained by associative learning , and thus the increased freezing
behavior of stressed animals could be attributable to an
attenuation of the extinction process , rather than to enhanced
fear acquisition , although the latter remains a possibility
.
it is usually assumed that stressful life events interfere with
our ability to acquire new information . yet
, previous exposure to
both acute and chronic stressful events can positively affect
classical conditioning tasks , including fear conditioning
[ 2933 ] .
reports to date regarding the effects of stress on fear extinction show that exposure to stress increases resistance to extinction , that is , it impairs extinction
acquisition and consolidation , which reduces the extent to which
extinction is able to offset a fear response .
in contrast , studies
addressing the relationship between stress and the acquisition of
new fear memories show that exposure to a stressful experience
facilitates fear learning , so further enhancing the fear response .
for example , previous exposure to a restraint session increased
fear conditioning in a contextual fear paradigm .
similarly , rau et al . have shown that preexposure to a stressor of repeated foot shocks enhanced conditional fear
responses to a single context - shock pairing .
cordero
et al . have shown that a single exposure to an aversive
stimulus is sufficient to facilitate context - dependent fear
conditioning , and suggested increased glucocorticoid release at
training in the mechanisms mediating the memory - facilitating
effects induced by prior stressful experiences .
these studies
corroborate others showing that if an animal learns a stressful
task , then the consolidation of this task may be enhanced by
stress and that its end product , corticosterone , may be secreted
during the task [ 3537 ] .
this was found to be the case in
a variety of emotionally arousing tasks , such as inhibitory
avoidance , spatial learning , discrimination learning , and fear
conditioning [ 3844 ] .
the basolateral amygdala ( bla ) plays a pivotal role in the
consolidation of memories related to fear and emotions , and in the
initiation of responses to stressful events [ 37 , 4550 ] .
moreover , the bla is significantly involved in both the formation and extinction of fear memory [ 17 , 5154 ] .
for example , microinfusions of a protein synthesis inhibitor to the amygdala prevented recall of extinction
after 30 minutes , and infusion of n - methyl - d - aspartate ( nmda )
receptor antagonists or mitogen - activated protein kinase
inhibitors to the bla prevented across - day extinction of
fear - potentiated startle [ 17 , 5456 ] . in another study , bla lesions severely attenuated expression of previously acquired fear memory . also , infusion of an nmda agonist
into the amygdala facilitated fear extinction [ 58 , 59 ] .
another brain structure that is known to play an important role ,
not only in the regulation of emotion , but also in the integration
of affective states with appropriate modulation of autonomic and
neuroendocrine stress regulatory systems , is the medial prefrontal cortex ( mpfc ) .
the mpfc provides an interface between
limbic and cortical structures and regulates the
stress - induced activity of the hypothalamus - pituitary - adrenal
( hpa ) axis [ 62 , 63 ] .
specifically , lesions or inhibition of protein synthesis in the
infralimbic part of the medial pfc impair recall of extinction of
conditioned fear [ 18 , 19 , 64 , 65 ] .
furthermore , mpfc stimulation that mimics extinction - induced tone responses reduces conditioned fear [ 66 , 67 ] , and stimulating the mediodorsal thalamic inputs
to the mpfc is associated with extinction maintenance
[ 68 , 69 ] .
moreover , functional imaging studies in human
subjects indicate that the mpfc is engaged during extinction
and that subjects with ptsd have reduced mpfc activity during trauma recall .
have shown that one week of restrained stress had the effect of impairing recall of extinction of conditioned fear , and suggested that this is due to deficits in the mpfc caused by
exposure to stress .
recently , it has been reported that stress
exposure that impairs fear extinction also caused retraction of
terminal branches of apical dendrites of infralimbic neurons
.
in addition to evidence indicating that extinction of fear memory
requires plasticity in both the mpfc and the bla [ 1719 ] , recent studies further point to a dysfunctional interaction between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala in the failure to
extinguish conditioned fear .
these studies indicate that the mpfc
has a function in the inhibition of emotions through its projections to the amygdala and are in line with pavlov 's view that extinction learning involves
inhibitory cortical circuits that reduce the cs - evoked conditioned
response .
the glutamatergic efferents from the mpfc synapse on amygdala
gamma - aminobutyric acid ( gaba)ergic neurons , and through this , may provide important inhibitory input to the amygdala . of
particular interest
is the projection from the infralimbic region
of the pfc ( which , together with the prelimbic cortex , comprises
the ventromedial pfc ) to the capsular division of the central
nucleus of the amygdala .
the capsular division of the
central nucleus contains gaba - ergic intercalated cells that have
been shown to exert powerful inhibitory control over central
nucleus neurons that project out of the amygdala [ 7779 ] .
infralimbic input to intercalated cells could be a pathway by
which infralimbic tone responses inhibit the expression of
conditioned fear ( e.g. , reduce freezing ) .
the anatomical data described for the interaction between these
two structures pinpoint the crucial role the neurotransmission of
gaba may play in the extinction of fear . indeed , a substantial
number of studies have demonstrated that the bla contains a
powerful inhibitory circuit that uses gaba as a neurotransmitter
[ 8183 ] .
moreover , the bla has larger amounts of
benzodiazepine / gabaa receptors than any other amygdala
nucleus , explaining why the infusion of benzodiazepines
or gabaa agonists into the bla reduces fear
conditioning and anxiety [ 8588 ] .
coincidently , local
blockade of these receptors attenuates the anxiolytic influence of
systemic benzodiazepines . recently , rodrguez manzanares et al .
have shown that stress attenuates
inhibitory gaba - ergic control in the bla , leading to neuronal
hyperexcitability and increased plasticity that facilitates fear
learning . based on these data , it can be concluded that gaba - ergic
mechanisms in the amygdala play a major role in controlling the
emotional consequences of stress , and may thus affect extinction
of fear .
benzodiazepines have long been used to treat anxiety and are
particularly appropriate in short - term treatment situations
.
direct modulation of gaba - ergic neurons , through the
benzodiazepine - binding site , down regulates memory storage
processes and specifically affects learned fear responses . on the
other hand , benzodiazepine release could be modulated by the
anxiety and/or stress associated with different types of learning
.
much research is directed at exploring the involvement of gaba in
inhibiting learned fear responses .
although several studies
support the central role gaba neurotransmission plays in
extinction , there are different reports regarding whether this
role is to facilitate or impair extinction [ 26 , 9195 ] . using direct modulation of gaba - ergic neurons
, it has been shown that the benzodiazepine inverse agonist fg7142 , which attenuates the effect of gaba at its receptor ,
retards extinction of conditioned fear [ 91 , 96 ] . likewise ,
mccabe et al .
have shown that benzodiazepine agonists administered to mice following training significantly facilitated
extinction during a food - reinforced lever - press procedure .
potentiation of gaba by the benzodiazepine agonist
chlordiazepoxide administered prior to extinction sessions
facilitated extinction in a paradigm of operant responding for
food reinforcement .
by contrast , systemic administration of the gabaa antagonist picrotoxin , after the
extinction of inhibitory avoidance learning , enhanced extinction
retention during testing , and the gabaa - positive allosteric modulator diazepam impaired extinction retention when administered before extinction in a shuttle avoidance task .
there are also a number of ways of modulating gaba - ergic functions
indirectly .
for example , cannabinoid ( cb1 ) receptors and
gastrin - releasing peptide receptors are both located on
gaba - containing interneurons .
endogenous cannabinoids , acting at
the cb1 receptor , facilitated the extinction of aversive memories
, and blocking the action of gastrin - releasing peptide , by genetically removing its receptor , retards extinction of
learned fear responses .
recently , azad et al . have shown that cb1 receptors reduce gaba - ergic synaptic transmission in the amygdale , and consequently facilitate
extinction of aversive memories .
. showed that gephyrin mrna and protein levels in the bla significantly
increased after fear extinction training , suggesting that the
modulation of gephyrin and gabaa receptor expression
in the bla may play a role in the experience - dependent plasticity
underlying extinction . using a low dose of the gabaa agonist muscimol , we
recently found that muscimol infused to the infralimbic
area before extinction training ( see figure 2(a ) )
resulted in long - term facilitation of extinction .
by contrast ,
where infusion of muscimol to the infralimbic area followed
extinction training , no such effect was observed , regardless of
the length of the extinction training period ( 5 or 15 trials ; data
not shown ) . however , infusion of muscimol to the bla following a
short ( 5-trial ) extinction session facilitated extinction for at
least 48 hours post - drug - infusion ( see figure 2(b ) ) .
the differences between the temporal parameters of the effects of
muscimol in the infralimbic cortex compared to the bla suggest
differential involvement of these structures in long - term
extinction of fear memory .
we propose that gabaa
neurotransmission in the infralimbic cortex plays a facilitatory
role in triggering the onset of fear extinction and its
maintenance , whereas in the bla , gabaa
neurotransmission facilitates extinction consolidation .
overall , the data suggest that manipulation of gaba transmission
may have very different effects depending on whether it is
administered pre- or postextinction training or before a retention
test , and depending also on the behavioral paradigm used .
while examining the involvement of gaba in the effects of stress
on fear extinction , we found that systemic administration of the
benzodiazepine agonist diazepam reversed the resistance to
extinction induced by exposure to an out - of - context stressor ( see
figure 3 ) .
after classical auditory fear conditioning
( 3 cs - us pairings of a tone with a foot shock of 0.5 ma ) ,
control rats that were exposed to the tone without shock gradually
extinguished their freezing ( cr ) in response to the tone during
extinction training . at the end of the third extinction session
rats that were exposed to
an out - of - context stressor ( i.e. , animals that were placed on an
elevated platform for 30 minutes ) before the first extinction
training session showed increased levels of freezing in response
to the tone even 48 hours after the stressor ( i.e. , showed
resistance to extinction ) .
a single injection of diazepam
( 2 mg / kg , ip ) 20 minutes before exposure to the out - of - context
stressor significantly facilitated extinction compared with the
control and stress groups as manifested by reduced freezing levels
in the first extinction session . on the second and third sessions
of extinction training ,
the response of the diazepam - stress group was no different to that of the control group , with the former group also exhibiting significantly
less freezing than the stressed rats that had not first received
diazepam . hence , treatment with diazepam reversed the impairing effect of exposure to stress on fear extinction .
further experiments to elucidate the possible role gaba plays in
the bla and the mpfc in preventing stress - associated impairments
of extinction are required .
a problem associated with the use of anxiolytic and anxiogenic
compounds in studies of extinction , however , is the possibility of
state dependency as opposed to a true effect on the suppression of
the learning process .
that is , it is possible that a
drug administered before or immediately following extinction
produces an internal state , or drug context , that is discriminable
to the animal .
however , in our experiment , the effect was probably not due to state dependence because the stressed
animals that were treated with diazepam showed less freezing
( i.e. , more extinction ) than the stressed animals that were
treated with saline , even 24 and 48 hours after a single
injection . to conclude , the present results demonstrate that pretreatment
with the benzodiazepine tranquilizer diazepam reverses the
cr - enhancing effects of the elevated platform experience .
these
findings suggest that benzodiazepines may prevent the augmentation
of the trauma - related symptoms seen in phobia and ptsd patients
that are caused by exposure to a stressful experience .
recent observations provide direct physiological support that the
mpfc reduces fear responses by reducing amygdala output
[ 66 , 103 , 104 ] . for example
, milad and quirk
found that stimulation of the mpfc decreases
the responsiveness of central amygdala neurons that regularly fire
in response to the cs only when animals are recalling extinction
of a fear task learned using that cs .
additionally , morgan
et al . reported that rats with mpfc lesions had an
increased resistance to extinction .
they proposed that connections
between the mpfc and amygdala normally allow the organism to
adjust its emotional behavior when environmental circumstances
change , and that some alteration in this circuitry , causing a loss
of prefrontal control of the amygdala , might underlie the
inability of persons with anxiety disorders to regulate their
emotions .
if the mpfc normally inhibits the amygdala as an active component
of extinction of fear conditioning , then when the mpfc is
inhibited or suppressed , emotional associations mediated by the
amygdala may be not inhibited during nonreinforcement . as a
result , conditioned responding may be prolonged over time
.
a combination of changes throughout this circuit is important in
generating stress - induced changes in emotionality .
the mpfc may
have a regulatory role in stress - induced fear and anxiety - like
behaviors through inhibitory effects on amygdala output and
processing .
indeed , extensive evidence supports the notion that the bla is a site of plasticity for fear conditioning
[ 104 , 106 ] , and that the bla is extensively connected with the
central nucleus of the amygdala [ 107 , 108 ] . in turn , the
central nucleus projects to the paraventricular nucleus of the
hypothalamus , thereby providing the most likely route
for any bla - dependent effects on stress - induced hpa output .
we would like to take this a step further , and suggest a possible
mode of action for the mpfc - amygdala circuit in fear extinction
under stressful conditions .
accordingly , under normal conditions
of fear suppression , the mpfc is activated and inhibits amygdala
output .
this dominance of the mpfc results in normal suppression
of fear , and in consequence promotes extinction of fear .
however ,
exposure to a stressful experience may reduce medial pfc
inhibition of the amygdala , and as a result the amygdala takes
control to assure defensive behaviors and becomes dominant .
the
expected consequence is interference in the suppression of the
fear response , that is , impaired extinction learning .
therefore ,
exposure to a stressful experience would result in reduced mpfc
activity leading to resistance to extinction and inappropriate and
exaggerated fear responses , as seen in ptsd patients .
indeed ,
abnormally low pfc activity together with abnormally high amygdala
activity were found in ptsd patients , when reexposed to
traumatic reminders .
accordingly , deficits in
extinction of conditioned fear as a result of exposure to a
stressful experience are proposed to contribute to the sustained
anxiety responses seen in ptsd .
figure 4 schematically summarizes this idea and shows
that during extinction of fear , the mpfc is activated and acts to
inhibit the amygdala in order to reduce fear , resulting in less
freezing ( i.e. , extinction ) .
however , exposure to stress at a
critical time with respect to extinction learning activates the
amygdala to increase fear and the result is more freezing ( i.e. ,
resistance to extinction ) .
therefore , according to our proposed
model , the stressor shifts the dominance from the mpfc to the
amygdala and , as a consequence , extinction of fear is impaired .
our model is consistent with the data shown in
figure 1 , which demonstrate that exposure to a
stressful experience results in resistance to extinction in the
stressed group compared with the nonstressed group .
whether this
effect is due to a reduction in mpfc modulation of amygdala
output , and to the involvement of gaba - based mechanisms acting on
the pfc - amygdala circuit , still needs to be examined .
our model is
also consistent with the suggestion put forward by quirk and
gehlert that deficient inhibitory tone in the
amygdala due to decreased inhibition from the prefrontal cortex
could lead to overexpression of conditioned responses , producing
pathological states such as anxiety disorders and drug - seeking
behavior .
pathological fear and anxiety , such as that exhibited by ptsd
sufferers , may be the manifestation of abnormal modulations in the
activity of the amygdala and the mpfc , and in their interaction .
ptsd is defined as symptoms of reexperiencing the trauma ,
avoidance of associated stimuli and hyperarousal symptoms ,
suggesting a heightened fear response , and it has been proposed
that ptsd symptoms reflect amygdala hyperresponsivity to
fear - related stimuli , with a concomitant lack of top - down
prefrontal inhibition .
this proposal is supported by neuroimaging
studies of ptsd patients , which observed abnormal reductions in
mpfc activity [ 71 , 112 , 113 ] , as well as enhanced and
distinctive amygdala engagement [ 114 , 115 ] , particularly for combat ptsd veterans . in line with this ,
fmri and pet
data have shown significant inverse correlations between the
functional activity of the mpfc and the amygdala [ 116 , 117 ] .
collectively , these data provide strong support for the hypothesis
that ptsd is characterized by a failure of the mpfc to
sufficiently inhibit the amygdala .
there is clinical interest in the effects of stress on fear
extinction learning as a model for the mechanisms operating in
ptsd , as well as interest in means to improve therapeutic outcomes
following fear - extinction - based strategies .
future therapies aimed
at increasing the inhibitory tone in the amygdala , either locally
or via the prefrontal cortex , may accelerate extinction and may
help in the treatment of anxiety disorders . | pubmed |
financial support from loan of japanese government and basic research for application of sichuan province ( no.05jy029 - 071 - 2 ) are gratefully acknowledged . | pubmed |
Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's 1. Chapter 01: Calm
Author's Note: Okay guys; for weeks now I'm trying to whip up some 5D's fanfiction, but every time I get close to have something half worth posting we get a new piece of back-story which sends me back to the start (Yeah, I'm a little bit obsessed with 5D's right now, I know…). I wrote two different outlines for my multichapter 'Prelude to Destiny' and am currently writing up the third, but since seeing epi 34 I've been itching to write the following story.
This is sort of the middle part of the "Prelude to Destiny"-series with the first part dealing with Yusei meeting Crow, Jack and Kiryu and them becoming Team Satisfaction and the third part telling how Yusei and Jack came to have Stardust and Red Demon's, meeting Rally-tachi, what Crow was up to in meantime, Yusei and Jack falling out with each other and finally Jack leaving and Yusei preparing to follow.
I'm really bad with titles and summaries so, if you have any suggestion for that I'm open to anything as I'm despairing a bit on it. Nevertheless please enjoy the chapter.
**Warnings**:
1. Spoiler for the whole series I suppose.
2. I also will be using the Japanese names for people and cards alike (The new ones at least; I just can't get used to saying/writing Sonic Chick instead of Road Runner).
3. Pairings: I don't have any pairings planned up, only some friendship-scenes between Yusei, Crow and Jack.
**Summary:** Multi-chap; pre-series: They had noticed the signs but it wasn't enough. Now the nightmare that had been foreshadowed, is about to swallow them as they realize that they are about to lose the one they would have done everything for to insanity. A single decision can change everything. This is destinies test for it's chosen's will as they try to safe their most important person from himself…
_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's._
**--- Prelude to Destiny: Separation ---**
**Part 01: Calm**
They had all noticed the signs.
Sure, they had been giddy with victory for the last few weeks. But that hadn't made them blind to what was going on around them.
Yet they had ignored them, played them off, saying that Kiryu was just feeling the final triumph of defeating all rival duelgangs within the Satellite so much stronger than them (after all that had been HIS ambition at first, only becoming theirs after he had picked them up from the streets)
They had kept hoping silently that soon everything would be to how it had been before. That was what they had wanted and needed to believe. They were nakama. Nakama trusted each other the most and never ever abandoned another.
But too much had changed in Kiryu for them to follow that principle any longer; Yusei was aware of that. Whenever Kiryu started to talk about their teams next ambition, his eyes started to glance slightly malicious, almost insane and for some time now his laugher had held a tone of dark amusement over something they didn't and couldn't understand; perhaps didn't even want to.
He had no idea when and how it happened but something in Kiryu seemed to have changed. And Yusei was not sure if he could blindly trust that Kiryu.
That was why he was leaning against the wall of corridor to their hide-out's exit. Maybe, so Yusei hoped, instead of avoiding the issue like they had done it until now, the just needed to confront Kiryu about it.
Perhaps after talking to him, he would realise where the path he was about to step on would be leading. Crow and Jack had agreed with that and left for now, letting him deal with this confrontation. Cornering Kiryu together would only worsen the situation.
Of course they all would prefer to keep ignoring the situation but that was no longer possible. The last time they had spoke, Kiryu had hinted at his new plan, a plan to conquer Satellite for good, starting by removing the Security-forces. He hadn't said just how he planned to 'remove' Security, but the look in his eyes had given them all a good idea. It was an idea that Yusei, just like Crow and Jack, didn't like at all. Stealing and duelling were one thing – hell, he wasn't above using raw force if needed – but…
He slightly shook his head, arms folded and eyes closed. Speculating like that wouldn't bring him anywhere, because perhaps, just perhaps it was all just a misunderstanding. Perhaps Kiryu would turn back into his old self just before laughing at them for being silly. "It's not like I can avoid this any longer…" he thought as he heard faint steps coming towards him.
He glanced down the corridor and indeed saw Kiryu coming up towards him. Taking one last deep breath, he stepped into the light, arms now unfolded. A conversation such as the one he was about to induce was best held in unthreatening manner. Kiryu stopped, his head tilted in greeting.
"Yusei!? What are you doing here? I thought you were with the others…" he said, his voice easy and conversational as always, but Yusei wasn't about to relax just yet.
"I wanted to talk with you about something. Is it a bad time?"
Kiryu eased a bit. "Nah, it's all right… I thought, I'll get a start on our new goal. Do you want to come?", he asked almost casually.
"OUR goal?", Yusei asked, an eyebrow raised as he folded his hands and leaned back again (and in the back of his mind he was alarmed, for as far as he remembered they hadn't agreed on anything definite yet and somehow the way Kiryu had asked his question put him further on edge).
"Of course!", Kiryu chuckled – and it wasn't that kind of easy laugh that Yusei was familiar and comfortable with. "Team Satisfaction can't just stay on the spot as we are now. We need to move to other stuff. Bigger stuff!"
Expressionless Yusei watched his friend, seeing the dangerous gleam that had entered his eyes and that warned him that Kiryu now had become unpredictable. Yet it was just that Kiryu that he needed to challenge.
"Do we?" he asked, stepping towards their groups leader, his own tone almost defiant. It would show Kiryu that he wouldn't be able to subdue him with evasive answers. "I for my part am satisfied as we are now."
"Is that?" Kiryu's chuckle worsened and Yusei quickly suppressed the shivers that raced down his back. No… this wasn't the Kiryu who had saved his life just weeks ago, who had said that he would never abandon a nakama.
"Well don't worry; I'm sure with time you all will come to understand that…"
"That what?" Yusei cut him off, his voice hard. Oh, he didn't like the way this conversation was going. He didn't like a bit of it. "Conquering Satellite by duelling, doesn't give us any claim to the rest of its structure. Nor can we simply decide to ban all of Security…"
"Like hell we can't!" Kiryu abruptly exploded, eyes blazing in unearthly fury as he started to pace before Yusei, throwing sharp looks like daggers at the younger.
"After all they are the ones, who have NO RIGHT to be here; who have NO RIGHT to try to control our life! You know that as well as me! Satellite is ours, so we should…"
"Yes, I know that all." Yusei replied quietly, stopping Kiryu in his tracks as he held eye contact, angry amber meeting determined cobalt blue. Oh yes he knew – his thoughts drifted for a moment to the incomplete m-shaped marker on Crows forehead. He disliked authority to the highest degree. It certainly had never earned his respect, not that it ever had tried to. However that was beside the point now.
So he continued to argue. "But still Kiryu, have you listened to yourself? Even if there were a way to throw out all of Security, it wouldn't change a thing for Satellite. People would still be trapped within their own hopelessness."
"Who said anything about throwing them out?" Cold silence settled between them as Yusei realised that they hadn't been wrong about Kiryu's intentions; that they should have addressed that from the beginning.
Now Kiryu was set on realising his new ambition, this new dream – this nightmare. While he realised that, Kiryu had moved forwards to the exit, passing him his eyes cold and calculating, regarding their discussion as finished. But just before he had reached the door Yusei spun around and grabbed his arm, cold terror replaced with hot anger. Anger, directed at Kiryu for leaving them like this, for destroying everything Team Satisfaction had reached in a bout of insanity.
"Kiryu, stop this – this is insane!" He called, anger burning in his eyes, in his voice. "If you start killing off Security-officers, then you are going down a path with no return. If you really go through with that…"
But suddenly all air escaped his lungs as Kiryu's fist buried itself into his abdomen. He felt himself getting thrown backwards as his back and head collided painfully with the unforgiving wall. His legs gave in and he slid down the wall. His vision was spotted with black. He heard Kiryu's voice whisper from far away, colder than ice: "Don't dare to turn on me, Yusei. Not now, not ever… When the time comes you will understand…"
But he didn't understand; he couldn't understand. All he saw was insanity about to take its toll. But nothing had happened yet… He could still stop this from taking place, still stop Kiryu… He turned his head while struggling to stay conscious, seeing Kiryu stepping out into the light.
"Kiryu!" he called out weakly after his friend, the leader he had been prepared to follow until the end just a week ago, but Kiryu didn't turn back. He only went forward, towards where Yusei saw his doom and closed the door behind him. He wanted to get up and stop him, this. But he couldn't move, couldn't follow and now his struggle proved futile. All he saw was darkness…
TBC.
**------**
I hope you liked it so far. Originally I planned this to be only a one-shot but I decided to make this to be a three-shot. So two more parts to go… In the meantime: Please REVIEW!
Edited version up 10th, December 2008
2. Chapter 02: Choice
Author's Note: So this is part two. I hope I got the characters somewhat right; while it was fun to write Jack and Crow, it's also kind of difficult since the only cannon interaction we had till now are a few nods and them thinking/saying each others name.
Big thanks for reviews to **AZ89** and **MistressMinako**. I considered you comments and reedited Part 01 as well as looked through grammar and sentence structure more closely. Please forgive me if it is a little off; I'm not native English but trying my very best.
By the way Ages and Timeline:
Kiryu: 18-19
Jack: 16
Yusei, Crow: 15
PtD Separation takes place about three years before start of the series.
Anyway please enjoy.
**Warnings**:
1. Spoiler for the whole series.
2. I will be using the Japanese names for people and cards alike (The new ones at least; I just can't get used to saying/writing Sonic Chick instead of Road Runner).
3. Pairings: I don't have any pairings planned up, only some friendship-scenes between Yusei, Crow and Jack.
**Summary:** Multi-chap; pre-series: They had noticed the signs but it wasn't enough. Now the nightmare that had been foreshadowed, is about to swallow them as they realize that they are about to lose the one they would have done everything for to insanity. A single decision can change everything. This is destinies test for it's chosen's will as they try to safe their most important person from himself…
_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's._
**--- Prelude to Destiny: Separation ---**
**Part 02: Choice **
Clouds were gathering above Satellite. Not that it was unusual for them to do so – on contrary: it was rather rare not to see their polluted and brown-grey form hanging above the Satellite. But now they featured an angry dark grey and from afar Jack already heard the thunder rolling.
He straightened and shifted the pack with supplies in his arms. He was anxious to return quickly to their hideout on the cliffs near the border of B.A.D. area, where Yusei and Kiryu were waiting. His thoughts kept drifting to the conversation that the two of them were possibly having that very second…
A sharp tap against his left shoulder blade snapped him out of is thoughts. He spun around only to see Crow crouched on a boulder to his right. His temper sparked when he watched as Crow snickered while swirling a stick in his right hand, his left holding onto a second bag of essentials. Seeing his friends grey eyes sparkle in amusement at his costs fuelled his temper even further.
"Stop being a pain, carrot top!" he snarled as he struck out after the orange haired source of annoyance. "And stop laughing at me!"
Crow evaded him easily (not that Jack had seriously expected to hit him; he would have felt seriously disappointed into his almost-brothers skill had that been the case), snickering evolving into a short full-blown laugh.
"Ah… you sure are tense, Jack." he chuckled, jumping down from the boulder. "Keep this up and you gonna snap into half soon." He added, as he cracked the stick into two as if to reinforce his point.
Jack felt the next insult coming up, but instead of taking Crows invitation to enter the familiar spar of wits between them, he just sighed again starting his way towards their home. "Honestly, Crow…"
He knew that Crow meant it well. He wanted to give Jack a chance to let off steam, but Jack didn't really want to lose this state of tension; at least not until they were sure wherever had misread the signs concerning Kiryu or not… But he should have known that Crow was not one to give up that quick.
"Not my fault that, unlike other people as I might add, my middle name AIN'T brooding." A fleeting smile ghosted over Jacks lips and he couldn't help but give into the urge to continue their bickering, snorting: "Middle name? You don't even have a last name, Crow."
Crow, disguising happiness at the results of his attempts to lighten the situation with a snort of his own, replied: "Geez, that's just a figure of speech. You really need to loosen up a bit Jackie."
Jack huffed, not bothering to reply. Between his own rather arrogant demeanour and Crows merry outlook on life, they came to clash very often. But in the end, Jack knew it all was just masking what they really felt. His arrogance, Crow's cheerfulness, Kiryu's confidence, Yusei's silence, they all kept those attributes in front of their selves to protect themselves; from the world and even from each other.
In the core they were all very similar: stubborn to the boot and loners of the highest degree. Perhaps that was what really connected them and made even him, the biggest loner of all, call them his nakama.
But considering the changes in Kiryu, it was probably not good to keep those masks (because within Jacks mind terrible possibility spun around: perhaps Kiryu had always been like that and they just hadn't noticed… Perhaps, perhaps…) No, now was not the time to keep up pretending. That was just as bad as ignoring the issue… And so Jack did what he could the best and that was attack.
"We can't keep going like everything is alright. It isn't, you and I know that." he said, not accusing but neutral. Crow stopped with the back to him. "You are worried, don't deny it."
A chuckle escaped Crow, not cheerful, but sad. "To think that you can figure me out that easily…"
Jack snort. "Give me some credit. We have known each other for long enough now."
They had spent almost the last eight years of their lives with each other. Yusei and Crow had known each other even longer. Beside it wasn't like there wasn't enough proof for Crow's worry anyway.
Just a few days ago Crow had relocated his brats to somewhere near Daedalus Bridge, saying that now that they had conquered Satellite and all other duelgangs were out for their blood, it could be dangerous for the brats to be associated too closely with them. But Jack knew that it wasn't their rival gangs that Crow was anxious about the most…
"That we have…", Crow confirmed, then turned around facing him, his grey eyes for once serious. "But keeping thinking all the negative stuff that might be, really gives me a headache. It's easier to hope that Kiryu is gonna laugh at us big time for being overly paranoid and jumping into conclusion once we come home. That tomorrow everything will be back to before and next week we'll kick ass of some upstart duelgang, who thinks that they are tough enough to challenge us, or something."
Jack kept silent, considering Crow's quiet admission. Between the three of them Crow was probably the most optimistic and Jack himself being the most pessimistic one. Unlike Crow he never trusted into anything just blindly always expecting the worst situation to take place.
Yusei on the other hand seemed to have a sixth sense that told him wherever he could trust into a person or not. Jack had observed it himself and before and even now after they had met Kiryu and risen into a position of power within Satellite, he always kept an eye on Yuseis reaction on a person/place/situation before allowing himself to relax.
But now that he thought about it, he had never really seen Crow off edge with something from the first second. Perhaps Crow was just picking up the signs of Yuseis sixth sense quicker than him.
Years ago Jack had asked Yusei how he could read the persons around them even if he only just met them. But Yusei had just shrugged, indicating that he had never really thought about it.
After hearing Jack's question Crow had added that they might as well NOT go into the issue since it might take away the 'magic' of Yusei ability. Jack had never asked again. Those abilities were as useful as they were strange and they were the reason why Yusei had stayed behind to confront Kiryu and not any of them.
Still, there was only so much that Yusei could do on his own and so Jack started to move again. "We should hurry. It's going to start raining soon." he said. Crow nodded, his face donned with solemn expression.
"Yeah… that will be a hell of a storm tonight."
They could already hear the thunder come closer.
----
By the time they had reached the half-broken house they called their home, the clouds on the sky had became almost black. A few lone raindrops had started to hit the ground. Yet when the two of them came to stop before the door, Jack's hand hovering hesitantly over the doorknob and he knew that Crow too was dreading what they might find once the door had opened.
Of course he told himself that his imagination was going through with him if he thought that there would be a corps of a Security (or even worse: Yusei) lying on the floor of what they called living room, that it was totally impossible for Kiryu to even think about doing something like that. But when he thought back at the glance in Kiryus eyes as he had stated his plans concerning Security…
After another minute he huffed angrily, at himself for being paranoid, at the situation itself for having changed their world so much…
"This is getting ridicules!" he said as he firmly grabbed the knob and pressed down, pushing the door wide open.
But at the sight beyond the door, made him loose his grip o the bag. He heard Crow gasp beside him as their both bags collided with the ground and were left there forgotten. Leaning against the wall of the corridor before them was Yusei, unmoving, his head turned to the side.
A moment later they were already by his side, Crows trembling fingers hastily feeling for a pulse and a moment later Jack felt relief spread though him as his orange-haired companion breathed: "Just unconscious…"
For a moment he had truly believed that the worst situation had become reality: Kiryu not just being a murderer but a murderer of nakama…
His eyes drifted to the door and on the outside the rain had now started in earnest, unforgiving drenching everything, even the bags of food that had been dropped mere moments before. Quickly Jack got up; it wouldn't do for the food to be ruined now.
He quickly fished the bags out of their misery, while behind him he could hear how Crow tried to call Yusei back to the world of living (bad pun, Jack thought absently, especially considering their situation).
Just as he closed the door behind him, shutting out most of the light he heard a groan coming from the others. He watched as Yusei stirred awake, cobalt blue eyes mirroring his confusion as he muttered their names. But then it seemed that he remembered what had happened.
He tried to jump up, exclaiming. "Kiryu! He…" only to be stopped by his own body as pain caught up with him. Groaning Yusei sank back to the ground, one hand at his head, one at his stomach.
"Oi, take it easy!", Crow muttered, one hand touching Yuseis shoulder in concern. "Let's get you somewhere more comfortable."
Somehow they managed to get upstairs to the makeshift living room of their hideout. A few raindrops found their way through the missing window, but Jack couldn't have cared less. He placed the supplies on the table that Yusei usually used as workbench to maintain their dueldiscs.
As he glanced over the old furniture, instinct told him that they would need neither table nor supplies anymore. Shaking his head for such negligibly thoughts, he walked back to where Crow had helped Yusei to sit down on a box.
Yusei, so Jack noted, looked like he had been dragged through half of B.A.D. area and back. Probably he also was still a bit disorientated but whatever had happened with Kiryu was clearly wearing Yusei down.
Jack and Crow exchanged a quick look. They wouldn't like what they were going to hear, they could be sure of that. But if what was supposed to be a short conversation between nakama ended with Yusei being knocked out, then they had ignored the issue far too long.
"What happened?" Crow quietly asked.
And Yusei told them. Short and in true Yusei-fashion but it was more than enough. When Yusei had finished silence reigned the room, none of them moving. Jack thoughts were jumbled and his eyes became distant as frustration and insecurity raced through his heart and mind until…
CHRASH! The loud noise snapped him back to reality and he was (actually not that) surprised to see Crow standing in front of a broken chair, trembling in furry and frustration.
"Damn it! Why the hell is this all happening?" he yelled as he paced before them and following the yell was a certainly impressive string of curses and insults, most of them involving Kiryu, authority and their situation in general (absently Jack made note of some of them; Crow when angered became truly creative). But cursing their situation did not make it any better and continuing to sit here in silence would not be getting them any further.
"One thing is clear so far." Jack said quietly, making Yusei look up to him and Crow stop at his tracks.
Reassured of their attention he continued. "Kiryu has made his choice, now it's time to make ours. If Kiryu really wants to go through with this I don't plan on sticking around. Security will not just stand on the side and watch if he decides to go around murdering them one for one and even Kiryu can only avoid them for so long."
Perhaps he had been too uncaring in his words, because just a moment after he had finished, Crow exploded on him: "So you just want to abandon him? Hell, Jack… Kiryu was the one who brought us to this. He gave us purpose! If not for him… We can't just leave it like that!"
"I know!" He snapped back, his own frustration and anger taking over, and would his pride allow it he would have destroyed the second chair, in order to deal with his feelings.
"But what do you propose? I'd do pretty much everything for Kiryu. But not this… This is the line I won't cross. If you are fine with Kiryu going around, killing off Securities, heck if you want to go and help him then…" he stopped himself as his mind caught up with his words.
Crow had paled and glared angrily at Jack, who just realised what he actually was implying and that he had just crossed a line himself by doing so, one that could cost him Crows friendship.
Crow's eyes narrowed coldly as he was about to spite back, but Yusei's quiet voice cut sharp between them, signalling the end of their fight before even more unforgivable implications were made. "That's not what he said and you know that."
Yusei, who had been silent through their spat, now stood up and straightened, signalling them that he was feeling fine again. "Crow is right," he continued "we can't leave it like this… not as long as we have time to stop him – Kiryu hasn't killed anybody yet…"
Yes not yet, Jack thought. The question was how long it would stay that way. Time was against them. Not to mention that none of them had an actual idea what was really wrong with Kiryu.
What should they do supposing that they managed to stop Kiryu? Tie him to the remaining chair in their hideout and hope that he would regain common sense, if they talked him down long enough? As amusing as the thought might have been with the old Kiryu, as terrifying was it with this new one.
But the real issue wasn't what to do if they stopped him; that they could really figure out afterwards. The real issue…
"What if we fail?" He asked, his head slightly bowed "What if Kiryu kills; and judging from his words before and from what he told you, there is a definite chance that he will. What then, Yusei?"
He looked up again and their eyes met. It was a challenge, to Yusei, to all of them; testing if they could truly put this to an end. They had already been strong in heart and as duelists before they had met Kiryu, but Kiryu had given them direction, purpose.
He had shown them how to focus on a goal, how truly important it was not to give up even in the worst situation. Before they had been already friends, close enough to be brothers. But with Kiryu they had turned into a unit; a team that worked flawlessly together regardless of the situation.
"If he does…" Yusei quietly replied, blue eyes heavy with the knowledge that he wouldn't like to speak the words following, wouldn't even want to think them – and neither would they – but nevertheless he would speak them out aloud, "If Kiryu truly does cross that line… kills… then that moment I can no longer see him as nakama."
Silence again, heavily wearing on them. No longer nakama… that meant that Kiryu was to be left behind. Nakama couldn't be abandoned, was trusted almost blindly and defended to the end. In truth, with his recent actions Kiryu had already lost their trust, yet he had still been nakama in their minds. The thought of him not leading them – not being nakama anymore – was almost impossible to bear for all of them.
And those words, declaring that in the worst case they needed and probably would stop seeing Kiryu as such, coming from Yusei, made even clearer that Team Satisfaction was in the state of emergency.
"Tch!" Crow's short, dry laugh disrupted the silence. "Well then we'll just have to stop him before it comes to that, won't we?" he crooked his head, grey eyes filled with the fires of determination.
"After all, even before Team Satisfaction, failure was never part of our dictionary!", he continued as he stretched out his fisted hand. Yusei nodded and even Jack couldn't suppress a small smile as their knuckles touched in familiar gesture.
True, they had never given up, not before meeting Kiryu and even after this they would refuse to do so. Yet all of them missed the touch of their leader, the fourth fist that completed and led their team.
The moment passed and their fists separated again. Yusei and Crow both turned to the exit, both determined to keep Kiryu from falling into the abyss of insanity. But Jack didn't move, knowing that now he had to do his part and speak the words that the other two couldn't speak.
"Wait!" he said stopping the two younger ones in their tracks.
"Before we head out… You two better remember this." He knew that he would have to tell them. Not because they didn't know, but because saying it aloud would make it real.
"Whatever happens tonight will probably change everything." That was given. Even if they managed to stop Kiryu, who knew if they would be able to fully trust him again.
"Tonight we may stay together as Team Satisfaction and grow even stronger. Or perhaps we will fall apart into pieces, without any idea what tomorrow will bring." They were listening he knew. And it was good that way. The following words needed to be burned into their minds and hearts for tonight at least.
"Whatever happens…" he continued, it felt as if it took all his strength to relay these words to the other two. "No regretting afterwards. Nobody can unmake what might happen. Thus we cannot turn back… We can only look forward."
For a moment all of their eyes met the ground. Until now they had lived the dream of freedom. Freedom, they had found in becoming the best together, not just the three, but the four of them.
But reality had caught up with them. Yet they would refuse to bend that easily. They would fight, against authority, against fate, against anyone who dared to try to control them.
Through the window, they saw short flashes of lightning, thunder following loudly as the raindrops continued to hit heavily into the room. The storm had begun.
Jack noticed how Yusei's fists clenched. "Let's go!"
TBC.
**------**
I hope you liked it. Two parts finished one more to go (and perhaps an epilogue or not, depends on how long part 3 turns out to be).
I'm thinking about changing the rating to M with next chapter. Just to make sure and stuff.
Also on my use of the word _nakama_: I suppose I still got that from my time in the OP-fandom, but I think (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that nakama is sort of a very, very close friend (almost closer than family). Since there is nothing really equal in English language to the definition I've heard, I like to keep the word as it is.
Please review.
End file.
| fanfiction |
since the discovery of high temperature superconductors ( htsc ) , the pairing mechanism and the symmetry of the order parameter in these compounds are key questions at stake @xcite .
there are several experimental techniques which are able to address this problem . the experiments on quasiparticle tunneling @xcite , the linear temperature dependence of the penetration depth @xcite
, the nmr and nqr measurements @xcite , and angular resolved photoemission experiments in bi@xmath0sr@xmath0cacu@xmath0o@xmath9 @xcite have yielded results consistent with @xmath10-wave pairing . on the other hand , quasiparticle tunneling ,
the exponential temperature dependence of the penetration depth , as well as the measurements of the electronic raman scattering in nd@xmath11ce@xmath12cuo@xmath13 are consistent with s - wave pairing @xcite .
the measurements of the magnetic field dependence of the dc - squid ( ybacuo - au - pb arrangement ) @xcite clearly indicated d - wave behavior , while the experiments on single josephson - junction pb - ybco @xcite showed s - type behavior .
so while the experimental evidence in favor of d - wave symmetry of the order parameter continuously grows , there is still no final consensus about it .
raman scattering is a powerful tool to address the problem of the symmetry of the order parameter .
it allows to probe the symmetry of the scattering tensor by simply choosing different polarization directions of the incident and scattered light . from the investigations of the raman scattering in conventional superconductors
it is known that the superconducting transition manifests itself in a renormalization of the electronic raman scattering intensity below t@xmath2 .
it was found for nb@xmath3sn and v@xmath3si @xcite that normalized raman spectra of these compounds show for temperatures below t@xmath2 a peak associated with the pair breaking process at the energy 2@xmath14 , together with a strong decrease of the scattering intensity at frequencies lower than 2@xmath14 . in high temperature superconductors , the first measurements of electronic raman scattering were reported in refs .. but in this case the behavior of the electronic scattering differs from that in conventional superconductors : a pair breaking peak develops in the spectra below t@xmath2 , but the scattering intensity at frequencies below 2@xmath14 does not show the usual sharp decrease . instead , a monotonic decrease toward zero frequency is found .
moreover , for different symmetry components ( a@xmath5 , b@xmath5 and b@xmath15 ) the renormalization of the scattering intensity for t@xmath16t@xmath2 is different and they exhibit peaks at different frequencies @xcite .
these facts have been explained by devereaux et al .
@xcite in terms of d@xmath17-wave pairing .
their calculations of the scattering cross - section have been performed for a cylindrical single - sheeted fermi surface in the framework of the kinetic equation approach .
the symmetry of the crystal was taken into account through calculating the raman vertex , which was expanded in terms of a complete set of crystal harmonics defined on the fermi surface .
it was found that nontrivial coupling between the raman vertex and an assumed strongly anisotropic energy gap leads to the strong symmetry dependence of the scattering intensity .
the calculations @xcite predict specific symmetry dependencies of the low frequency scattering as well as the peak positions for the different symmetry components of the electronic raman scattering at temperatures below t@xmath2 .
the a@xmath5 peak position is sensitive to the parameters of the model calculation .
it will appear below b@xmath5 peak position while with some parameters it may also appear at the b@xmath5 peak position .
nevertheless there is one set of parameters which can perfectly reproduce the experimental data@xcite . later on this model
was criticized by krantz and cardona @xcite .
their calculations @xcite are based on the general description of the raman scattering cross - section through the inverse effective mass tensor . in case of the multisheeted fermi surface,(e.g .
several cuo@xmath0 planes per unit cell in htsc ) polarization dependent raman efficiencies are determined by the averages of the corresponding effective mass fluctuations .
the authors of ref . used the effective masses from lda band structure calculations for yba@xmath0cu@xmath3o@xmath18 to determine the raman scattering cross - section .
they found that it contradicts the experimental results if one uses only d - wave pairing for a multisheeted fermi surface of yba@xmath0cu@xmath3o@xmath18 .
an explanation was given by assuming different types of the order parameter on different sheets of the fermi surface .
for a single - sheeted fermi surface ( i.e. one cuo@xmath0-plane per unit cell ) no mass fluctuations should occur .
therefore in the framework of the effective mass fluctuation approach , the a@xmath5 scattering component will be nearly totally screened and should peak at the same position where the b@xmath5 scattering component ( 2@xmath19 ) .
therefore straihgtforward measurements of the electronic raman scattering in single - cuo@xmath0 layered high - temperature superconductors ( tl-2201 , la-214 , bi-2201 , ( nd , ce)-214 ) should clarifay this controversial point .
tl-2201 has the highest t@xmath2 ( up to 110k ) @xcite among the above mentioned single - cuo@xmath0 layered compounds .
therefore all effects due to the gap opening are expected in the range of 300 - 600@xmath6 , and they should not be obscured due to the rayleigh scattering at small wavenumbers . nevertheless , raman measurements in only one pure scattering geometry ( b@xmath5 ) are known @xcite for this compound , which showed @xcite becides a t@xmath2=80k two additional transitions at 100 and 125k , which can be indicative of the tl-2212 and tl-2223 phases .
these facts lead us to reinvestigate the electronic raman scattering in the tl - based high temperature superconductor tl-2201 ( with different oxygen content ) with one cuo@xmath0-plane per unit cell .
the comparison with the results of electronic raman scattering experiments reported for the high temperature superconductors with several cuo@xmath0-planes should clarify whether the multiband scattering is indeed important . we should mention that similar experiments on the single layered compound ( la-214 ) were already carried out @xcite .
nevertheless , in the framework of comparison of the compounds with different number of cuo@xmath0-planes the measurements on tl-2201 are more favourable due to its high t@xmath2 .
the investigated single crystals of tl@xmath0ba@xmath0cuo@xmath1 ( tl-2201 ) had the shape of rectangular platelets with the size of approximately 2x2x0.2 mm@xmath20 .
the two crystals investigated were characterized by a squid magnetometer .
t@xmath2 was found to be 90@xmath213 k and 80@xmath215 k. the crystals are slightly underdoped .
it is known @xcite that differences in t@xmath2 in tl-2201 compound originate from different oxygen concentrations .
these crystals can be over- as well as underdoped .
the heavily oxygen doped crystals show a metallic type of conductivity @xcite and do not show a superconducting transition .
the orientation of the tetragonal crystals was controlled by x - ray diffraction .
raman measurements were performed on `` as grown '' surfaces of the freshly prepared crystals .
this is very important , because the crystal surface of tl - based superconductors as well as of all high temperature superconductors is very sensitive to long exposure to air and especially to humid atmosphere . for
the raman measurements a dilor xy triple spectrometer combined with a nitrogen cooled ccd detector was used .
all raman data were obtained at nearly backscattering geometry .
the photon excitation was provided by the 488-nm line of an ar@xmath22 ion laser with laser power equal to 15w/@xmath23 .
the estimated additional heating did not exceed 5k .
all measurements were performed with the polarization of the incident and scattered light parallel to the basal plane of the crystal , i.e. the cuo@xmath0-planes .
it was possible to measure the a@xmath5 , b@xmath5 , and b@xmath15 symmetry components of the raman scattering cross - section .
in addition to the previously published phonon peaks ( @xmath24123@xmath6 , @xmath24169@xmath6 , @xmath24490@xmath6 , @xmath25@xmath6 , @xmath24610@xmath6 ) @xcite we have detected some additional phonons ( @xmath24240@xmath6 , @xmath24300@xmath6 , @xmath24330@xmath6 , @xmath26@xmath6 ) which we believe are the defect induced infrared active phonons . for all scattering geometries the spectra for temperatures well below t@xmath2 were divided by the spectra just above t@xmath2 in order to emphasize the redistribution of the scattering intensity in the superconducting state compared to the normal state .
the results of the electronic raman scattering in the crystals of tl-2201 ( t@xmath2=80k,90k ) are shown on figs .
[ f1]-[f5 ] . in the crystal with t@xmath2=80k
the b@xmath5 scattering component measured in xy configuration shows a well - defined peak at 430@xmath2115 @xmath6 ( fig .
the x and y axes are rotated by 45@xmath27 with respect to the crystal x and y axes , respectively , which are parallel to the crystallographic axes . the b@xmath15 scattering component in fig .
[ f1]b is less intense , but shows also a broad maximum with an average frequency of 380@xmath2135@xmath6 .
raman spectra in the xx and xx geometries are presented in fig .
[ f2]a and b , showing spectra of a@xmath5 + b@xmath15 and a@xmath5 + b@xmath5 scattering components , respectively . in order to evaluate the a@xmath5 scattering component we subtracted the b@xmath5 and b@xmath15 components ( see fig .
[ f1]a , b ) from the xx and xx spectra , respectively . as one can see from fig .
[ f3]a , b the a@xmath5 scattering component peaks in both cases , at 345@xmath2120@xmath6 . for the crystal with t@xmath2=90k we found peaks of the b@xmath5 , a@xmath5 and b@xmath15 scattering components at 460@xmath2115@xmath6 , 350@xmath2120@xmath6 , and 400@xmath2135@xmath6 , respectively ( fig .
[ f4 ] , lower panel ) .
another very important observation is that the low frequency behavior of the electronic raman scattering exhibits strong anisotropy with respect to the symmetry components .
one can see in fig.4a ( upper and lower panel ) that the intensity decrease of the b@xmath5 scattering component toward lower frequencies fits the @xmath28 law predicted by devereaux et al .
for the a@xmath5 and b@xmath15 scattering components in fig .
[ f4]b and c , respectively , there is a linear decrease , which also agrees with the predictions by deveraux et al .
a summary of our results on tl-2201 is presented in table [ t1 ] . in order to follow the temperature behavior of the superconductor gap ,
we have measured the temperature dependence of the electronic raman scattering .
following devereaux et .
al.@xcite , we assume that the peak in the b@xmath5 component of the electronic scattering corresponds to the value of 2@xmath19 . in fig .
[ f5]a and b , respectively , we show the b@xmath5 and a@xmath5 scattering component of tl-2201 ( t@xmath2=80k ) at different temperatures between 10k and t@xmath2 divided by the spectrum at 100k .
the experiments for the 90-k crystal yielded a similar behavior . with increasing temperature the intensity of the peak in fig .
[ f5]a associated with the pair breaking process decreases and the maximum shifts slightly to lower frequencies .
obviously , the temperature dependence of the superconductor gap does not follow the bcs behavior .
in other words , upon cooling below t@xmath2 the gap opens more abruptly than predicted by bcs theory .
these results are similar to results reported for underdoped bi-2212 @xcite . because the peak position of the a@xmath5 scattering component in fig .
[ f5]b has larger error bars compared to the b@xmath5 component , one can not definitely say whether the data fit the bcs behavior or not .
we also searched for superconductivity - induced changes in frequency and linewidth of the optical phonons . with the resolution of 1@xmath6 we have not observed such changes . upon heating from 10k up to 200k the frequencies of all phonons decreased and the linewidths increased monotonically .
the raman scattering intensity can be written in terms of the differential scattering cross section@xcite : @xmath29 with @xmath30\im m\chi_{\gamma\gamma}(\vec{q},\omega)\ ] ] here r@xmath31 is the thomson radius , @xmath32 is the frequency of incident ( scattered ) photon , @xmath33 and k@xmath34 were set to 1 .
s@xmath35 is the generalized structure function , which is connected to the imaginary part of the raman response function @xmath36 through the fluctuation - dissipation theorem ; @xmath37 $ ] is the bose - einstein distribution function .
the raman response function can be written as @xcite : @xmath38 with the raman vertex @xmath39 written as @xmath40 where @xmath41 are either brillouin zone or fermi surface harmonics @xcite which transform according to point group transformations of the crystal and @xmath42 is the tsuneto function : @xmath43 the brackets @xmath44 in eq .
[ rares ] denote an average of the momentum @xmath45 over the fermi surface . as is obvious , raman scattering probes only @xmath46 .
therfore it is not possible to determine whether the gap function changes sign for different directions of @xmath47 or not .
but nevertheless the symmetry of the gap function can be inferred from the specific spectral features of each symmetry component of the electronic raman scattering . for the gap of d - wave symmetry ( @xmath48 , where @xmath49 is an angle between @xmath45 and the a - axis ) , calculations @xcite predict different low frequency behavior for the different symmetry components .
for b@xmath15 and a@xmath5 scattering components it should show a linear dependence in @xmath50 , but for b@xmath5 it should be @xmath51 .
the appearance of a power law in the low frequency scattering characterizes an energy gap which vanishes on lines on the fermi surface .
an appearance of @xmath28 law in b@xmath5 scattering component is specific for d@xmath17-wave pairing @xcite .
the predicted values of the peak maxima for the b@xmath5 , b@xmath15 and a@xmath5 scattering components are @xmath52 , @xmath53 and @xmath54 , respectively . these above mentioned peculiarities appear in our data .
indeed , the low frequency behavior of the b@xmath5 scattering component definitely differs from a linear behavior as seen in fig .
[ f4]a , whereas for the a@xmath5 and b@xmath15 scattering components it is linear in @xmath50 ( see fig .
[ f4]b , c ) . for both crystals , the b@xmath5 scattering component peaks at a higher frequency than the b@xmath15 , which in turn peaks at a higher frequency than the a@xmath5 component . since raman scattering
does not probe the phase of the order parameter it is important to take into consideration other types of the pairing which can also have nodes on the fermi surface , but do not change the sign , i.e. @xmath55-pairing , or strongly anisotropic s - pairing . for the @xmath55-pairing @xcite @xmath56 one gets the threshold at @xmath57 ( minimum pair breaking energy ) .
while a@xmath5 and b@xmath15 scattering components exhibit a jump at this frequency , the b@xmath5 scattering component shows a continuous rise from zero and up to the peak at @xmath58 .
the a@xmath5 and b@xmath15 scattering components also show broad maxima as in the case of pure d@xmath17-wave pairing , but these maxima will be cut - off toward lower frequencies due to the strong jump at 2@xmath59 . thus one should observe a low - frequency cutt - off in both a@xmath5 and b@xmath15 scattering components , which , however , is not observed in our data . for anisotropic s - pairing , showing the minimum of the gap on the diagonals of the two - dimensional brillouin zone , ( @xmath60 ) one
gets a single threshold on 2@xmath61 for all scattering components as well as a peak at @xmath62 for the b@xmath5 scattering component .
therefore we will expect a picture which is very similar to the case of @xmath55-pairing , with one exception .
the b@xmath5 scattering component should show an additional shoulder at the same position where the a@xmath5 and b@xmath15 scattering components show peaks @xcite .
this is also not the case for our data . in principle
one can assume @xmath61 to be very small or even zero .
in this case one gets peaks at 2@xmath19 , 0.6@xmath19 and 0.2@xmath19 for the b@xmath5 , b@xmath15 and a@xmath5 scattering components @xcite , respectively . in addition
, the low frequency behavior of the b@xmath5 scattering component will be linear .
this also contradicts our results .
recently the model calculations of devereaux et al . were criticized by krantz and cardona @xcite .
the main argument against this theoretical model is that the realistic electronic band structure of the crystal is important , but that the one - sheeted fermi surface approximation used by devereaux et al.@xcite is inappropriate .
the authors of ref . used a numerical model based on the lda band structure calculations for ybacuo in order to take into account the multisheeted fermi surface of the superconductors with several cuo@xmath0 -planes .
it was pointed out that for the @xmath63 ( d - wave pairing ) and a multisheeted fermi surface the calculations lead to a contradiction with the experiment , i.e. the a@xmath5 and b@xmath5 scattering components peak at the same position 2@xmath61 . in order to get consistency with the experiment ,
different types of the order parameter on different sheets of the fermi surface were proposed . only in this case the calculations in ref . were able to get different positions of the maxima of the b@xmath5 , a@xmath5 , and b@xmath15 scattering components . for a one - sheeted fermi surface the authors of ref . found identical positions of the maxima for the a@xmath5 and b@xmath5 components , but a different position for the b@xmath15 component .
hence it was concluded that any difference in peak position of the a@xmath5 and b@xmath5 component is only consistent with multiband scattering of a multisheeted fermi surface and different gap symmetries for each of the sheets . for superconductors with one cuo@xmath0-plane
, a multisheeted fermi surface is invoked originating from tl - like s - states @xcite ( tl-2201 ) or from sr - doping@xcite ( la@xmath11sr@xmath12cuo@xmath13 ) in order to yield a difference in peak position for the a@xmath5 and b@xmath5 components .
however , no experimental proof for such a fermi surface contribution exists so far .
moreover , the calculations in ref . failed in explaining of the symmetry - dependent low - frequency dependence of the raman scattering intensity , whereas this important experimental fact was observed not only in our experiments , but also in bi - sr - ca - cu - o @xcite , y - ba - cu - o@xcite and la - sr - cu - o @xcite systems .
in addition , it is obvious that all superconductors with different crystal structures have a different electronic structure . hence , if the multiband scattering model would be crucial we would expect absolutely different behavior for the different superconductors which is actually in contradiction with existing experimental results .
even if one compares the superconductors with the same number of cuo@xmath0 planes , one finds that , while the interplanar distance ( distance between cu atoms in different cuo@xmath0-planes ) is quite similar , the dimpling ( in - plane cu - o - cu angle ) differs very much from compound to compound ( see table [ t2 ] ) .
yba@xmath0cu@xmath3o@xmath18 exhibits the largest dimpling compared to other compounds .
strong dimpling should lift the degeneracy of otherwise identical cuo@xmath0-planes or fermi surface sheets .
this dimpling can strongly affect the lda calculations because the interplanar interaction should depend on this parameter .
and finally on top of that , use of the effective mass approach is very much questionable in case of high temperature superconductors , because this approach can be used only for nonresonant raman scattering @xcite . in high temperature superconductors
we , however , are always in the regime of the resonant scattering . moreover ,
the electron correlation effects in htsc are not treated sufficiently by lda .
in contrast to the conclusion of ref .
our experiments show that the one - cuo@xmath0-plane compound tl-2201 shows very similar behavior compared to compounds with several cuo@xmath0-planes , such as tl-2223 , bi-2212 and ybacuo @xcite .
we also found that the frequency of the b@xmath5 maximum scales with t@xmath2 , and it corresponds to the value 2@xmath64 .
this value is very close to the values ( with the exception of nd@xmath11ce@xmath12cuo@xmath13 @xcite ) found for other high temperature superconductors as shown in table [ t3 ] .
the temperature dependence of the gap ( b@xmath5 component in fig .
[ f5]a ) in our experiment differs from the bcs behavior , i.e. upon cooling the gap opens more abruptly than predicted by bcs theory .
this is consistent with the spin fluctuation theory of high temperature superconductivity @xcite , favoring d@xmath17-wave pairing .
the model considers pair binding as well as pair breaking effects due to the spin fluctuations .
gap opening leads to a suppression of low - frequency spin fluctuations and therefore to reduced pair - breaking . therefore in underdoped crystals ( we consider our tl-2201 crystals as underdoped ) this effect will lead to a more abrupt opening of the gap upon cooling below t@xmath2 compared to bcs behavior . in conclusion , we presented measurements of the electronic raman scattering on high - t@xmath2 tl-2201 single crystals with one cuo@xmath0-plane per unit cell .
the peculiarities of the electronic raman scattering , i.e. the power law frequency dependence of the diferent scattering components at low frequencies , their different peak positions as well as the values of 2@xmath64 are found to be very similar in compounds with one and several cuo@xmath0 planes .
all nearly optimally doped high - t@xmath2 superconductors ( with the exception of ( nd , ce)-214 @xcite ) show a very similar behavior of the electronic raman scattering consistent with the d@xmath17- wave symmetry of the underlying order parameter .
this work was supported by dfg through sfb 341 and by bmbf fkz 13 n 6586 .
one of the authors l.v.g acknowledges support from the alexander von humboldt foundation and expresses his gratitude for the hospitality at the 2.physikalisches institut rwth - aachen .
shen , d.s .
dessau , b.o .
wells , d.m .
king , w.e .
spicer , a.j .
arko , d. marshall , l.w .
lombardo , a. kapitulnik , p. dickinson , s. doniach , j. dicarlo , a.g .
loeser , c.h .
park , phys .
70 , 1553 ( 1993 ) .
.peak positions of the different scattering components of electronic raman scattering .
the reduced gap values 2@xmath65 are referred to the b@xmath5 peak position , n is the number of cuo@xmath0-planes per unit cell .
[ cols="^,^,^,^,^,^,^ " , ] | arxiv |
theoretical studies suggest that high velocity molecular outflows play important roles in massive cluster forming regions .
massive molecular outflows associated with the accretion of the ob stars can create cavities with low molecular densities .
the efficient photon leakage through the cavities potentially reduces the radiation pressure exerted on the molecular gas by a factor of 10 ( krumholz 2005 ) , and therefore enhances the stellar accretion rate .
however , if those massive molecular outflows emanated from ob stars are oriented in the bipolar direction which has lower molecular gas density , it is unclear how efficient the outflow momentum and energy can propagate and feedback into the majority of dense molecular gas . from the numerical hydrodynamical simulations ,
li & nakamura ( 2006 ) and nakamura & li ( 2007 ) suggested that in the parsec scale molecular cloud , the initial turbulence dissipates quickly , which leads to local contraction and star formations ( see also carroll et al .
the turbulence induced by the outflows from the intermediate mass or solar mass ( proto)stars over the entire parsec scale cloud , however , quickly replenishes the initial turbulence to support the cloud .
the contraction of the cloud is therefore self regulated with a low star formation efficiency . in such scenarios , the molecular cloud can be maintained in a quasi
equilibrium state , which may be conducive to the formation of a dense molecular core in its center .
massive stars then are formed in the dense molecular core , and create bright ultracompact ( uc ) hii regions via the stellar ionization .
observationally , extensive single dish surveys of the @xmath0co emissions found high detection rates of massive molecular outflows around the massive cluster forming regions .
in addition , the ubiquitously seen bipolar profiles of the massive molecular outflows ( shepherd & churchwell 1996 b ; beuther et al . 2002 ; zhang et al . 2005 ; wu et al . 2005 ; lpez - sepulcre et al . 2009 ) suggest that the magnetically regulated accretion similar to that in low mass star formation plays a role in ob star formation . besides the massive bipolar outflows , however , owing to the great complexity of the ob cluster forming regions , identifications of outflows from individual intermediate mass or solar mass stars have been difficult , and the improvements rely on detailed analysis of interferometric data .
g10.6 - 0.4 is a well studied massive cluster forming region at a 6 kpc distance ( caswell et al .
1975 ; ho & haschick 1981 ; ho et al . 1983 ; ho et al . 1986
; keto et al . 1987 ; guilloteau et al . 1988 ; keto et al .
1988 ; ho et al . 1994
; keto 1990 ; omodaka et al .
1992 ; keto 2002 ; sollins et al . 2005 ; sollins & ho 2005 ; keto & wood 2006 ; keto et al . 2008 ; klaassen et al .
2009 ) . in this region , a high bolometric luminosity ( 9.2@xmath510@xmath3 l@xmath6 ) and bright free - free continuum emission ( @xmath72.4 jy within a 0.05 pc radius , at 1.3 cm band ) were detected , suggesting that a cluster of o - type stars ( o6.5b0 ; ho and haschick 1981 ) has formed
. our previous sma observations in ch@xmath1oh j=5 transitions trace a massive rotating envelope ( @xmath21000 m@xmath6 in the central 0.3 pc @xmath5 0.1 pc region ) which shows a biconical cavity ( liu et al . 2010 b ) .
the biconical cavity may be initially created by powerful ( proto)stellar outflows , and clues may be provided by sensitive molecular line observations to detect the high velocity emissions .
the vla / evla observations of the centimeter free - free continuum emission and the cs ( 1 - 0 ) emission suggest that the biconical cavity is undergoing an expansional motion with the velocity of a few kms@xmath8 , which may be powered by the ionized gas pressure .
these results suggest that the pressure of the ionized gas is an important feedback mechanism in the initially low density region . in the plane of rotation ,
the dense gas is marginally centrifugally supported ( liu et al . 2010
a ) , and its global dynamics is not yet severely disturbed by the radiation pressure and the pressure of the ionized gas . in the central 0.1 pc region , a fast rotating hot toroid encircling an ob cluster is detected ( keto , ho , & haschick 1988 ; sollins & ho 2005 ; liu et al .
2010 ) , which is consistent with dense core formation via a global contraction of a massive envelope . the overall geometry and the dynamics qualitatively resemble the standard magnetically regulated core collapse in the low mass star forming region . to improve the understanding of how the envelope is shaped by the ( proto)stellar outflows , and how the global contraction is regulated
, we carried out the interferometric observations of the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) line in g10.6 - 0.4 .
we estimate the mass , energy , and momentum budgets in the detected outflow systems .
in addition , by comparing the distribution of the high velocity @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) emission with the distribution of various outflow and shock tracers ( ch@xmath1oh , hcn , sio ) , we discuss the interactions between the outflows and the dense molecular envelope .
details about the observations are introduced in section [ chap_obs ] .
the results are presented in section [ chap_result ] . in section [ chap_discuss ] , we discuss the role of the molecular outflow , and compare it with the role of the feedback from the radiation pressure , stellar wind , and the pressure of the ionized gas .
a brief conclusion is provided in section [ chap_conclusion ] .
we observed multiple molecular line transitions from 2005 till 2009 .
the properties of the observed molecular transitions are summarized in table [ table_molecule_list ] ; and the observational parameters are summarized in table [ table_parameters ] . we also perform high resolution observations of 3.6 cm continuum emissions .
details about calibrations and data reduction are introduced as follows .
we observed the ch@xmath1oh j=5 transitions and the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) line toward g10.6 - 0.4 using the submillimeter array ( sma ) in the compact configuration and the very extended configuration on 2009 june 10 and 2009 july 12 , respectively ; and observed the hcn ( 3 - 2 ) line with the sma in the compact configuration on 2005 june 21 and in the extended configuration on 2005 may 9 .
we also observed the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) lines in the sma subcompact configuration on 2009 february 09 .
the frequency resolutions in these observations are 390 khz ( @xmath20.5 kms@xmath8 ) .
the basic calibrations are carried out in ` miriad ` , the self - calibration and imaging of these data are carried out in ` aips ` .
continuum emissions are averaged from the line free channels and then subtracted from the line data .
we construct the continuum band visibility data at 1.3 mm from the line free channels in the sma subcompact , compact , and very extended array data .
we combined the data of all three array configurations , which yields a synthesized beam of [email protected]@[email protected] with position angle of 60@xmath10 .
the 1.3 mm continuum image is shown in figure [ fig_1p3 mm ] .
the discussions of this continuum image are postponed to section [ chap_diagnose ] .
we combine the @xmath0co data of all three array configurations , which yield a synthesized beam of [email protected]@[email protected] with a position angle of 87@xmath10 ; and we perform averaging per three velocity channels to enhance the signal to noise ratio . the observed rms noise of the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) line channel maps is 0.03 jy / beam ( 0.48 k ) in each 1.5 kms@xmath8 channels , where there is no extended strong line emissions .
we combine the compact array and the very extended array ch@xmath1oh data , which yield [email protected]@[email protected] angular resolution and rms noise level of 0.06 jy / beam ( 0.64 k ) in each 0.5 km / s velocity channel .
we combine the compact array and the extended array hcn ( 3 - 2 ) data , yielding 1@xmath9@[email protected] resolution , and rms noise of 0.24 jy / beam ( 3.03 k ) in each 0.5 kms@xmath8 channel .
we observed the sio ( 8 - 7 ) line using the sma in the compact configuration on 2008 october 8 .
the frequency resolution in this observation is 812.5 khz ( @xmath20.7 kms@xmath8 ) .
calibrations are carried out in ` miriad ` , and imaging is carried out in aips . owing to a non - uniform uv coverage in this observation , using natural weighting , we obtain a [email protected]@[email protected] synthesized beam with a position angle of 21@xmath10 . the rms noise in each 0.7 kms@xmath8 channel is 0.24 jy / beam ( 0.33 k ) . the x band continuum emission toward g10.6 - 0.4 was observed in the vla a - configuration including the vlba pie - town antenna on 2005 january 2 .
the sources 1331 + 305 and 1820 - 254 were observed as absolute flux and gain calibrators .
the basic calibrations , self - calibration , and imaging of these data are done in ` aips ` package .
the synthesized beam of the image is [email protected]@[email protected] with a position angle of -7.5@xmath10 .
the observed rms noise of the 3.6 cm continuum image is about 0.1 mjy / beam ( @xmath227 k in brightness temperature ) .
we note that the 3.6 cm continuum emission is free
free emission from spectral index measurements ( keto , zhang , & kurtz 2008 ) .
in the following sections , we inspect the spatial distribution of the high velocity @xmath0co outflows , with reference to the overall distribution of the dense gas in g10.6 - 0.4 .
we trace the dense molecular gas by the emission of the ch@xmath1oh j=5 transitions ( liu et al .
the ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ transition , the ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) e transition , and the blended ch@xmath1oh 5(2,3)-4(2,2 ) e and 5(-2,4)-4(-2,3 ) e transitions trace an extended 0.5 pc scale massive envelope .
the highest excitation ch@xmath1oh 5(-3,3)-4(-3,2 ) e transition exclusively trace a @xmath120.1 pc scale hot toroid , which is revealed as a white compact ellipse in the middle of the ch@xmath1oh rgb image ( figure [ fig_co ] ) . as will be discussed in the position
velocity diagram ( figure [ fig_ch3oh_pv ] ) , the ch@xmath1oh emission shows an integrated rotational motion , and trace the warm and dense accretion flow around the ob cluster . by comparing the outflows with the ch@xmath1oh emission ,
we try to emphasize the formation of a cluster of stars in the self gravitational accretion flow .
the high velocity outflows are interacting with the ambient dense gas .
we diagnose the interactions between the high velocity outflows and the ambient dense gas via the broad ch@xmath1oh emission and also the distribution of the water maser sources ( hofner & churchwell 1996 ) . from the flux of the @xmath0co emission , we estimate the mass , energy , and momentum feedback . we constrain the feedback rate from the outflow dynamical timescale . in addition , we report the detection of significantly enhanced hcn ( 3 - 2 ) emission , which has the distribution and the velocity range that are consistent with one of the strongest blueshifted @xmath0co outflow components near the central hot toroid ( we call this blueshifted outflow component _ hcn outflow _ hereafter ) . we also detect localized broad sio ( 8 - 7 ) emission and geometrically elongated 3.6 cm free
free continuum emissions around _
hcn outflow_. the physical implications of these observed signatures are discussed . for the sake of clarity , the discussion in the following sections
are mostly based on the velocity integrated maps .
the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) and the hcn ( 3 - 2 ) channel maps are presented in appendix [ chap_channel ] .
figure [ fig_co ] shows the velocity integrated maps of the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) emission in the blueshifted , redshifted , and the intermediate velocity ranges , superposed on the dense molecular envelope as traced by the velocity integrated emission of ch@xmath1oh j=5 transitions .
the intermediate velocity range is defined as -15.258.75 kms@xmath8 . in this range
the rms noise in channel maps is significantly worse owing to the difficulties in imaging the strong and extended emission .
the blueshifted ( -124.75 -15.25 kms@xmath8 ) and the redshifted ( 8.75 46.25 kms@xmath8 ) velocity ranges are defined relative to the intermediate velocity range .
the system velocity of g10.6 - 0.4 is -3 kms@xmath8 , which is about the midpoint of the intermediate velocity range .
we integrate the emission in these three limited velocity ranges such that the significant features are not diluted in the velocity space .
some highly redshifted @xmath0co emissions marginally detected in the velocity channels of 48.5 kms@xmath8 57.5 kms@xmath8 ( figure [ fig_cochan1 ] ) will be discussed separately . outside of these selected velocity ranges
, we do not see significant detection of @xmath0co emission . according to the galactic rotation curve ( caswell et al .
1975 ; corbel & eikenberry 2004 ) , the @xmath0co emission in the velocity range of @xmath13= -3 45 kms@xmath8 is potentially confused with the foreground molecular gas emission / absorption , which may explain why the velocity integrated map of the redshifted @xmath0co shows more diffuse emission than that of the blueshifted @xmath0co ( see also the discussions in appendix [ chap_channel ] ) .
we do not detect the collimated high velocity bipolar outflow aligned with the rotational axis of the central hot toroid . in the blueshifted @xmath0co velocity integrated map , which is not biased by the foreground emission / absorption , we see individual compact components .
these compact components have the angular size scale of a few arcseconds . from the channel maps ( figures [ fig_cochan1 ] , [ fig_cochan2 ] , [ fig_cochan3 ] , [ fig_cochan4 ] )
, one can see that these compact blueshifted outflow systems have very different coverages in the velocity space .
this morphology of the high velocity @xmath0co emissions qualitatively look very different from the well defined massive bipolar molecular outflow ( see the case of g240.31 + 0.07 for an example ; qiu et al .
2009 ) , and are difficult to be interpreted by a single wide angle wind . these result can either be explained by multiple powering sources , or can be explained by powerful non - uniform or episodic bursts .
these different explanations are not mutually exclusive .
future observations with higher sensitivity and higher resolution to detect the protostellar cores and to resolve the morphology / alignment of individual outflows / jets will help to clarify the origin of the high velocity @xmath0co emissions .
we also note that g10.6 - 0.4 is a quite evolved massive cluster forming region with extremely bright hii regions .
comparing the physical size scale of the entire dense envelope ( @xmath20.5 pc ) with that of orionco observations in g10.6 - 0.4 is about 1@xmath14
. the physical scales of the observed area and the resolution of this g10.6 - 0.4 data are comparable with those of the @xmath0co survey in omc2 and omc3 , reported by williams , plambeck , & heyer ( 2003 ) .
see takahashi et al .
( 2008 ) for a more recent study of molecular outflows in omc2 and omc3 . ] , it is not surprising if multiple ( proto)stellar objects have already been formed and are widely distributed in the entire massive envelope @xmath15 , and with temperature greater than 30 k. such a region can be traced by the nh@xmath1 main hyperfine inversion line , and the ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ transition ( liu et al . 2010 b ) . ] . in active accretion phase
, those ( proto)stellar objects will also eject molecular outflows , which will contribute to the high velocity @xmath0co emissions .
the size scale and the spatial distribution of the significantly detected compact redshifted @xmath0co emission are qualitatively consistent with the results of the blueshifted @xmath0co emission .
however , from the channel maps ( figures [ fig_cochan1 ] , [ fig_cochan2 ] , [ fig_cochan3 ] , [ fig_cochan4 ] ) , we see that the velocity coverage of the redshifted @xmath0co emission is about a factor of 2 smaller than the blueshifted emission
. this can be either explained by the intrinsic asymmetry in some specific powering sources , or the asymmetry of the entrained ambient molecular gas . for the sake of the convenience of the following discussions , we label several compact blueshifted and redshifted components on the velocity integrated maps , which are visually identified from the channel maps . when we mention the labels like r@xmath16 , b@xmath16 outflow , or _
hcn outflow _ , we specifically refer to the @xmath0co emission in the corresponding velocity ranges . by comparing the spatial distribution of the redshifted and blueshifted @xmath0co
, we see that the compact components from these distinct velocity ranges are highly correlated .
the r@xmath17 outflow and the b@xmath17 outflow are spatially close to each other , but , are isolated from the massive envelope as traced by the ch@xmath1oh emission . the averaged line of
sight velocities/@xmath18 , where @xmath18 and @xmath19 are the mass and the line of sight momentum integrated in the blueshifted or the redshifted velocity range ( see table [ table_outflow ] . ) . ] of r@xmath17 outflow and the b@xmath17 outflow
have comparable absolute values , which are 14.6 kms@xmath8 and 18.1 kms@xmath8 , respectively .
the b@xmath17 outflow is elongated in the southeast northwest direction , which is consistent with the alignment of b@xmath17 and r@xmath17 outflows .
these results suggest that r@xmath17 and b@xmath17 outflows resemble a bipolar molecular jet , and provide indirect indications that protostars form not only in the densest center of the massive envelope , but also form in other local overdensities .
the b@xmath20 outflow consist a * v * shaped feature , and two other compact components north of the * v * feature .
the * v * shaped feature can also be visually identified from the @xmath0co channel maps , in the velocity range of -19.5 -14.5 kms@xmath8 .
one appealing explanation of the morphology of the @xmath0co emission in b@xmath20 outflow is one collimated molecular outflow with wide angle wind .
we note that spatially the b@xmath20 outflow is associated with an ultracompact hii region ( see also figures [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ] , [ fig_ch3oh_outflow2 ] ) , of which we detected the arc shaped expansional signature with -5 kms@xmath8@xmath12v@xmath21@xmath125 kms@xmath8 in the cs ( 1 - 0 ) position - velocity diagram ( liu et al .
the molecular wind , the ionized gas pressure , and the ionizing photons together may have created the * v * shaped cavity . northeast of the hot toroid traced by the ch@xmath1oh 5(-3,3)-4(-3,2 ) e transition ( e@xmath22 = 96.93 k ) , we see abundant outflows or activities related to outflows . with the current resolution ,
the detailed morphology of each outflow system is poorly resolved , and from @xmath0co emission only it is difficult to distinguish if there is individual bipolar outflow in this region .
some hints are provided by the water maser detections .
water masers form in high density ( n@xmath2310@xmath2410@xmath25 @xmath15 ) , and high temperature ( @xmath22000 k ) environment , and are normally found very close to protostars ( garay & lizano 1999 ) . in figures [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ] and [ fig_ch3oh_outflow2 ] , we plot the positions of water masers from hofner & churchwell ( 1996 ) . from these figures
we see that one maser source ( ra:18@[email protected]@xmath28 , decl : -19@[email protected]@xmath9 ) seems to be associated with b@xmath29 or r@xmath29 outflow ; and also one maser source ( ra:18@[email protected]@xmath28 , decl : -19@[email protected]@xmath9 ) seems to be associated with b@xmath1 or r@xmath1 outflow .
the spectrum of each of these maser sources shows a cluster of components around the cloud systemic velocity , and additionally shows some higher velocity components .
these water maser results provide strong indications that the outflows detected northeast of the hot toroid are driven by local intermediate mass protostars , or even b type massive ( proto)stars which are in active accretion phase . other water maser sources
are mostly associated with the hot toroid and the central uc hii region .
one water maser source at ra=18@[email protected]@xmath28 and decl= -19@[email protected]@xmath9 may be associated with the _
hcn outflow_. in the velocity range of 47.75 58.25 kms@xmath8 , we marginally detect compact emissions around the locations of b@xmath30 and b@xmath29 outflows ( figure [ fig_cochan1 ] ) . if the distance of g10.6 - 0.4 is 6 kpc , this velocity range is not likely to be affected by the emission / absorption of the foreground gas , and the highly redshifted @xmath0co emissions are likely to be the counter parts of blueshifted b@xmath30 and b@xmath29 outflows . in the intermediate velocity range ,
the @xmath0co emissions show tremendous structures .
we attempt to explain the results .
however , it has to be borne in mind that the @xmath0co emissions in this velocity range are affected by the high optical depth of the foreground gas .
in addition , missing the short spacing in the interferometric observations makes large scale structure invisible , and also makes the imaging extremely difficult .
therefore , the very detailed structures in individual channel maps need to be confirmed by the cross comparison with other observations .
discussions will be provided to argue that the missing short spacing problem and the foreground absorption have minor effects on our following analysis .
the velocity integrated map , the mean velocity and the velocity dispersion maps of the @xmath0co emission in the intermediate velocity range are provided in figure [ fig_comnt012 ] .
based on these figures , we suggest a bimodal picture for the geometry and the dynamics .
the majority of the dense gas agrees with the 0.5 pc scale envelope detected in ch@xmath1oh , and has the velocity gradient from southeast to northwest . in the envelope , a significant
* v * shaped feature of outflow cavity can be seen north of the hot toroid . northeast of the * v * shaped feature , we detect 5@xmath910@xmath9 ( 0.150.3 pc ) scale filamentary structures ( filament @xmath31 , hereafter ) . from the mean velocity map and the @xmath0co channel maps ( figure [ fig_cochan2 ] )
, we see that filament @xmath31 has brightness temperature of a few tens of kelvin , and covers the velocity range of -16 -10 kms@xmath8 , which is broad and is significantly bluer than the systemic velocity of the dense molecular envelope ( -3 kms@xmath8 ) .
a population of the redshifted gas ( g10@xmath32 , hereafter ) is further seen southwest of the hot toroid .
the morphology of g10@xmath32 is potentially filamentary and has the northeast southwest alignment .
however , the emission from g10@xmath32 is projected against the emission from the cavity features southern to the hot toroid ( liu et al .
some hints for the filamentary morphology of g10@xmath32 can be seen in the velocity dispersion map , which shows broad line emission regions with a narrowly elongated shape .
the velocities of the filament @xmath31 and the g10@xmath32 together show a gradient from the northeast to the southwest .
these filamentary structures may be originated from ambient gas influenced by massive bipolar molecular outflow or the expansional motion of the ionized gas .
the energetics of this dynamical feature can be approximately seen from the previous single dish measurement . by observing the @xmath33co ( 2 - 1 ) line using iram 30 m telescope , lpez - sepulcre et al .
( 2009 ) estimated the mass , momentum and energy of the molecular line wind in the velocity range of -11.6 -8.6 kms@xmath8 and 3.97.9 kms@xmath8 to be 200 m@xmath6 , 1510 m@xmath6kms@xmath8 , and 12@xmath3410@xmath35 erg , respectively .
the filament @xmath31 is also marginally detected in our cs ( 1 - 0 ) observations ( liu et al .
2010 b ) ; however , both the filament @xmath31 and the g10@xmath32 are not seen in the ch@xmath1oh images ( figure [ fig_co ] ) , which provides the limits on the density and the gas excitation temperature .
the detailed physical conditions can be constrained by future sensitive observations in co j=2 - 1 and j=3 - 2 isotopologues transitions .
more discussions about the velocity dispersion of the intermediate velocity @xmath0co emission are postponed to section [ chap_diagnose ] .
we note that filamentary structures with the same spatial scale are also detected around the nearby massive cluster forming region , the orion kl region ( wiseman & ho 1996 ; wiseman & ho 1998 ) . from the results of the nh@xmath1 observations ,
wiseman & ho ( 1998 ) suggested a bimodal pattern of velocity .
in addition , they found the filaments appear to be fragmenting into chains of core , which are potentially the future or the current sites for low mass star formation .
for the blueshifted and the redshifted outflows , we assume optically thin emission with lte conditions .
we estimate the mass , momentum and energy traced by the @xmath0co emission by adopting the gas excitation temperature of t = 100 k and the interstellar abundance ratio [ @xmath0co]/[h2 ] = 10@xmath36 . our estimate does not explicitly consider the inclination angle , which statistically biases the total outflow momentum lower by a factor of order 1 . the optically thin assumption on average
may also bias the estimate lower by a factor of order 1 .
the angular size scale of the synthesized beam of our @xmath0co images is 1.2@xmath9 .
the emissions from isolated structures with angular size scale much smaller than that of the synthesized beam are potentially beam diluted and therefore can not be detected . in nearby clouds , the molecular outflows / jets typically have the physical size scale of a few times of 0.1 pc , which corresponds to a few times of 3@xmath9 at the distance of g10.6 - 0.4 .
this typical angular size scale is greater than the 1.2@xmath9 synthesized beam of our @xmath0co images .
therefore we do not consider the effect of beam dilution as a dominant bias in our estimates .
the diffuse emission may not be robustly imaged in the high resolution maps . to check this effect , we image the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) emission with the subcompact
array data alone , yielding [email protected]@[email protected] synthesized beam and rms noise of 0.17 jy / beam ( 0.44 k ) in each velocity channel of 0.5 kms@xmath8 width . by averaging the subcompact - array channel maps in the blueshifted and the redshifted velocity ranges , we do not find significantly more diffuse high velocity emission , thus suggesting that our estimates based on the [email protected]@[email protected] high resolution images ( section [ chap_obs ] ) are representative of the total mass , momentum , and energy feedback .
the @xmath0co outflows in the intermediate velocity range may be some energetic systems with small inclination angle ; and observationally , systems in this velocity range are severely confused with the global dynamics of the dense gas ( liu et al .
2010a , b ) .
therefore the direct analysis of the @xmath0co outflow momentum and energy in the intermediate velocity range is difficult .
in addition , the @xmath0co emission is optically thick in this velocity range . without the complementary information of the @xmath33co or c@xmath37o observations ,
the optically depth is uncertain .
statistically , we expect the outflow feedback from those systems with low inclination angle quantitatively has the same order of magnitudes as the feedback from outflows which have high inclination angles and are detected in the blueshifted and the redshifted velocity ranges . or , there can be some less energetic outflow systems , as those detected in omc2 and omc3 ( see williams , plambeck , & heyer 2003 , and therein ) .
the contributions of such systems are not significant as compared with the energetic high velocity outflows .
we estimate the deconvolved size scale of each outflow system by performing 2d gaussian fitting of the velocity integrated maps .
the outflow dynamical timescale is estimated by dividing the major axis of the fitted gaussian with the averaged velocity .
the dominant uncertainties in the estimation of the dynamical timescale are caused by the inclination , which is not measured in these observations .
also , owing to the limited angular resolution , we are only able to measure the dynamical timescale greater than 1700 years , assuming a typical outflow velocity of @xmath220 kms@xmath8 . the dynamical timescale , mass , momentum , and energy of each significant and compact outflow system in g10.6 - 0.4 are summarized in table [ table_outflow ] .
the individual outflow systems have a typical mass of @xmath21 m@xmath6 , and momentum of a few tens of m@xmath6kms@xmath8 .
since we only estimate the physical properties of the outflow systems in the blueshifted and the redshifted velocity ranges while the real outflow systems continue into the intermediate velocity range , these quantities can be underestimated . to provide the sense of how much bias
is made by considering only the limited velocity ranges , we estimate the physical properties of the _ hcn outflow _ both in the blueshifted velocity range and in the entire velocity range with @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) detection . by including the intermediate velocity range
, the dense gas in the massive envelope significantly contributes to the @xmath0co flux , and the estimated mass should be treated as the upper limit of the molecular mass in the outflow system . from table [ table_outflow ] , we see that the results with the inclusion of the intermediate velocity range has a factor of 10 higher mass , a factor of 4 higher momentum , and a factor of 2.7 higher energy .
these results can be understood since the kinetic energy is scaled with the square of velocity , and therefore the low velocity outflow gas in the intermediate velocity range does not contribute to a lot of momentum and energy , as long as its mass is not way much higher than the high velocity components .
thus we conclude that our estimations of the total energy and momentum feedback based on the high velocity components only is accurate up to an order of magnitude .
the estimated physical parameters of _ hcn outflow _ ( table [ table_outflow ] ) can be uncertain owing to the strong photo dissociation .
however , it is unlikely that the total molecular mass integrated in the line of sight of _ hcn outflow _ can be comparably high as the mass enclosed by the nearby hot toroid ( @xmath2200 m@xmath6 ) . based on this argument , we suggest a lower limit of the [ @xmath0co]/[h@xmath29 ] abundance ratio in _ hcn outflow _ to be @xmath210@xmath39 .
we expect the [ @xmath0co]/[h@xmath29 ] abundance ratio in other outflow systems to be less biased from the typical value of 10@xmath36 .
we estimate the outflow mass , momentum , and energy in the entire blueshifted and the redshifted velocity range by integrating the flux in the whole field of view .
for the blueshifted outflows , the total mass is about 6.2 m@xmath6 ; the total line of sight momentum is 163 m@xmath6kms@xmath8 ; the total energy is 6.6@xmath3410@xmath35 erg . for the redshifted ( also including the velocity range of 46.2558.25 kms@xmath8 ) outflows , the total mass is about 4.4 m@xmath6 ; the total line of sight momentum is 109 m@xmath6kms@xmath8 ; the total energy is 3.2@xmath3410@xmath35 erg .
the estimated mass includes all entrained and shocked gas in the outflows which can be detected in @xmath0co emission .
the dynamical timescale of these outflow systems has the order of 10@xmath4010@xmath41 years . in the blueshifted velocity range , the visually identified compact systems ( b@xmath42 , @xmath43b outflows )
contribute to 89% of the total outflow mass ; 84% of the outflow momentum ; and 72% of the outflow energy .
however , in the redshifted velocity range , the visually identified compact systems ( r@xmath44 outflows ) only contribute to 31% of the total outflow mass ; 20% of the outflow momentum ; and 16% of the outflow energy .
the small fractional contribution of the compact systems ( r@xmath44 outflows ) in the redshifted velocity range can be explained by the significant contribution of the diffuse emission ( figure [ fig_cochan1 ] ) in the velocity range of 8.75 46.25 kms@xmath8 .
those diffuse emission can be contributed by both the foreground molecular emission and the diffuse molecular outflows , which are not distinguishable with the data we currently have .
additionally , the flux of the molecular outflows in the redshifted velocity range is also attenuated by the foreground absorption . since the order of magnitudes of the total mass , momentum , and energy in the redshifted velocity range are still comparable with those in the blueshifted velocity range , we suggest that the contribution of the foreground emission are roughly compensated by the attenuation of the foreground absorption .
therefore , we accept the estimated total outflow mass , momentum , and energy in the redshifted velocity range without modeling and correcting for the foreground effect , and we argue that the relevant discussions are not seriously biased .
the total molecular mass in the region with ch@xmath1oh detection ( figure [ fig_co ] ) is about 10002000 m@xmath6 ( liu et al .
2010 a ) . assuming
the majority of mass is moving with 24 kms@xmath8 absolute velocity ( liu et al .
2010 ) , the momentum and kinetic energy in this system has the order of magnitudes of 20008000 m@xmath6@xmath34kms@xmath8 and 432@xmath3410@xmath35 erg . the mass of the outflows is about a few percent of the total molecular mass in this region .
however , energy feedback from the outflows is comparable to the kinetic energy of the filament ne and g10sw ( see section [ chap_name ] ) , and is a significant fraction of the total kinetic energy of the massive envelope .
note the system is marginally centrifugally supported ( liu et al . 2010 ) , and the gravitational potential energy has the same order of magnitude as the rotational kinetic energy . if the initial turbulence is induced by the global gravitational contraction , its kinetic energy should have the same order of magnitude as the gravitational potential energy , or less than that .
our estimations of the outflow feedback parameters are based on the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) flux . in the orion 1s region
( @xmath2450 pc from the sun ) , the high resolution observation of the sio ( 5 - 4 ) line unveils a cluster of molecular outflows , which are not detected in the @xmath0co emission ( zapata et al .
such kind of systems may be rare , and from that observation , have the dynamical ages of few hundreds of years , and have physical size scales of 4602700 au . although our @xmath0co data achieve a factor of 2 lower rms noise level than the @xmath0co data reported in zapata et al .
( 2006 ) , the greater distance and hence more severe beam dilution makes those system non detectable in g10.6 - 0.4 in @xmath0co . by assuming the lte conditions , optically thin emission , a rotational temperature of 80 k , and an abundance ratio of [ sio]/[h@xmath29 ] = 10@xmath45 , zapata et al .
( 2006 ) estimated the total mass , momentum , and energy in those sio outflows to be 1.155 m@xmath6 , 57.85 m@xmath6kms@xmath8 , and 3.03@xmath3410@xmath35 ergs .
however , as suggested by the authors , at least a factor of 50 enhancement of the sio abundance with respect to the adopted value 10@xmath45 is required to explain the non detection of @xmath0co , implying that the real outflow mass , momentum , and energy can be a factor of 50 lower than the estimated values .
if such kind of sio outflow systems are rare either because of the short life time in the specific phase of weak @xmath0co emission , or because of their formation requires unusual physical conditions , their feedback may not be significant as compared with the total outflow feedback estimated from the @xmath0co emission . with small size scale
, the induced protostellar turbulence also dissipates faster .
while the interaction and shock signatures typically have the velocity of a few kms@xmath8 from the systematic velocity , in massive cluster forming regions , the co isotopologues emission is extremely complicated in such velocity range , and is hard to be robustly imaged in interferometric observations .
the diagnostics of the interaction signatures are therefore relying on the observations of various tracers . in the following sections , we introduce the observed features in ch@xmath1oh , hcn , and sio , as the diagnostics in g10.6 - 0.4 .
the interaction signatures identified from the ch@xmath1oh emissions are cross compared with the velocity dispersion map of the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) emission in the intermediate velocity range , to demonstrate the robustness of the diagnostics . in addition , we compare the identified interaction signatures with the 1.3 mm continuum image , which is regraded as a reliable tracer of dense molecular cores .
[ [ g10.6 - 0.4 ] ] g10.6 - 0.4 + + + + + + + + + by comparing the velocity integrated @xmath0co emission with the velocity integrated ch@xmath1oh emission , we see the association of the molecular outflows with the dense envelope . with the terminal velocity of a few tens of kilometer per second , these molecular outflows can strongly shock the ambient dense gas in the envelope . a variety of molecules
are then released from the dust grain , and their abundances in gas phase can be dramatically enhanced .
we diagnose the interactions between the molecular outflows and the ambient gas from the broad ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ emissions .
the ch@xmath1oh molecule is considered to be one of the early type molecules , and is abundant in the dense protostellar core .
in addition , its abundance can be further shock enhanced by one or two orders of magnitude .
the selected transition has the lowest upper level energy ( 34.65 k ) among all observed ch@xmath1oh lines , so that the excitation is least sensitive to the stellar heating .
figure [ fig_ch3oh_pv ] shows a sample position - velocity ( pv ) diagram of the ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ transition . from this figure we see two dominant signatures with distinguishable characteristics : the dense rotating envelope and the broad interaction signature .
the dense envelope covers the angular scale of @xmath220@xmath9 , and is characterized by high brightness and steep increase of brightness .
the interaction signature , as indicated by the red arrow , is faint and is spatially localized , but covers a much larger velocity range .
this broad and faint emission can be understood as the outflow wing component in the spectrum .
more pv diagrams of the interaction signatures are discussed in appendix [ chap_outflowpv ] .
qualitatively , one can observe that , in the same range of angular offset , the envelope and the interaction signature roughly occupy the same area ( in unit of arcsecond@xmath5kms@xmath8 ) in the pv diagram , which is naturally explained by their difference in linewidth .
however , the envelope is sketched by significantly more contours , which means that the area between two contour levels is much smaller .
the difference between the dense envelope and the interaction signature leads to a large contrast if we compare the velocity integrated flux between two significant contour levels , for example , the 3rd @xmath46 and the 6th @xmath46 significance levels ( @xmath47 hereafter ) . between these two contour levels ,
the interaction signatures contribute to significantly more @xmath47 than the dense envelope , although having lower total integrated flux .
this property can be utilized to indicate the spatial distribution of the interaction signatures .
figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ] shows the @xmath47 map of the ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ transition together with the locations of the water maser sources and the locations of the 1.3 cm free - free emission peaks . from figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ]
we see that this analysis is quite successful . the 0.1 pc scale hot toroid ( liu et al . 2010
a , b ) which has the highest brightness temperature , can not be seen in this map . instead , we see significant local components ( indicated by boxes )
closely associated with the compact @xmath0co emission ( for example , b@xmath29 , r@xmath30 , r@xmath1 outflows , and b@xmath20 outflow ) , which are the most likely sources to induce the interaction signatures .
we note that the ch@xmath1oh emission is only significantly detected in the velocity range of -13 kms@xmath8@xmath12v@xmath21@xmath1210 kms@xmath8 while the blueshifted and the redshifted @xmath0co emissions are defined outside this velocity range .
the consistency in their spatial distributions also indicates that the broad ch@xmath1oh emission is indeed related to the high velocity molecular outflows .
we also evaluate the velocity dispersion of the emission between the 3rd @xmath46 and the 6th @xmath46 significance levels ( figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow2 ] ) .
the result consistently shows large velocity dispersion closely associated with the interaction signatures .
both figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ] and figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow2 ] show that the interaction signature around the b6 outflow has a elongated distribution parallel to the global rotational axis of the dense envelope ( liu et al .
2010 a , b ) , and may be associated with an uc hii region , indicated by a star symbol ( liu et al .
2010 b ) . whether that signature is related to the bipolar molecular outflow or
is pushed by the bipolar expansion of the ionized gas can be studied in future high resolution observations .
the interaction signature indicated by the orange box corresponds to the interaction signature shown in the sample pv diagram ( figure [ fig_ch3oh_pv ] ) .
the corresponding @xmath0co emission may be in the intermediate velocity range , and as shown in figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ] , is elongated in the southeast northwest direction .
it can also be visually identified in the channel map ( figure [ fig_cochan2 ] ) as compact components in the velocity range of 3.58.0 kms@xmath8 .
the f@xmath48 analysis , especially , the velocity dispersion map ( figure 6 ) unveils a population of interaction signatures , which lie close to the plane of the densest flattened molecular gas ( liu et al .
2010 a , b ) .
those interaction signatures show locality and relatively low outflow velocities .
we suggest that they are less likely due to the interaction of the wind emanated from the ob cluster embedded in the hot toroid , but rather associated with local sites of star formation .
this result provides important indication that local star formation plays important roles in the feedback of kinetic energy to the dense molecular gas .
[ [ cross - comparison - with-12co - emission - in - the - intermediate - velocity - range ] ] cross comparison with @xmath0co emission in the intermediate velocity range + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + in this section , we cross compare the broad ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ emission ( figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ] , [ fig_ch3oh_outflow2 ] ) with the broad @xmath0co emission in the intermediate velocity range ( figure [ fig_comnt012 ] ) . from the velocity dispersion map of the intermediate velocity @xmath0co emission ( figure [ fig_comnt012 ] ,
right ) , one can see two extended broad line regions , which are associated with two uc hii regions ( hii m : ra=18@[email protected]@xmath28 , decl= -19@xmath1055@[email protected] ; hii nw : ra=18@[email protected]@xmath28 , decl=-19@xmath1055@[email protected] ) , respectively .
the physical size scales of these two broad emission regions are both a fraction of a parsec . the distribution of the broad @xmath0co emission around hii
nw agrees well with the interaction signature traced by the @xmath47 of the ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ transition ( figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ] ) .
the morphology can be explained by the expansional motion of the molecular / ionized gas confined by the dense gas , which has a flattened distribution in the global plane of rotation ( liu et al .
2010 a b ) . the broad @xmath0co emission around hii
m does not have ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ emission counter part , which can be explained by the lower optical depth around this specific region .
in addition to those two extended broad @xmath0co emission regions , we visually identify five very compact ( 1@xmath92@xmath9 ) broad @xmath0co emission signatures , for which the mean velocities also have significant contrasts with the ambient gas .
those regions are marked by circles in figure [ fig_comnt012 ] , and are also marked in the left most panel of figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ] .
the central coordinates of these five circles are : ( # 1 ) ra=18@[email protected]@xmath28 , decl= -19@xmath1055@[email protected] ; ( # 2 ) ra=18@[email protected]@xmath28 , decl= -19@xmath1055@[email protected] ; ( # 3 ) ra=18@[email protected]@xmath28 , decl= -19@xmath1055@[email protected] ; ( # 4 ) ra=18@[email protected]@xmath28 , decl= -19@xmath1055@[email protected] ; ( # 5 ) ra=18@[email protected]@xmath28 , decl= -19@xmath1055@[email protected] , respectively ( see also the channel maps in figure [ fig_cochan2 ] ) .
two of them ( # 1 , # 2 ) are closely associated with water maser sources .
the east most one ( # 4 ) is associated with a @xmath47 peak of the ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ transition , which is marked by the yellow box in figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ] .
a faint @xmath47 peak of the ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ transition is detected around # 3 ; and similarly with # 5 .
these five signatures marked by circles look compact even from the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) transition , which is very easy to be excited .
it provides the indication that they are associated with active local dynamics . since their mean
velocities are offset from the systemic velocity of their ambient gas by a few kms@xmath8 , we hypothesize that those signatures are the molecular gas in the local dense cores pushed by the protostellar outflows . without the comparison with results from the outflow tracers ,
it is extremely difficult to recognize these interaction signatures from the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) maps , and it is even more difficult to robustly interpret them when they are recognized .
we note that the missing flux and the high optical depth of the foreground gas can artificially enhance the measured velocity dispersion . however , the broad @xmath0co emission regions mentioned in this section have much smaller angular size scales ( @xmath1220@xmath9 ) than the maximum detectable angular scale of our sma subcompact array data ( @xmath240@xmath9 ) , and should not be severely affected by missing flux .
if the missing flux artificially enhances the measured velocity dispersion at large scale , the contrast between the measured velocity dispersion of the broad @xmath0co emission regions and the measured velocity dispersion of the envelope is reduced .
the contrast in velocity dispersion should be higher in reality , which means the identified broad emission signatures are robust .
therefore we think the missing flux does not have a significant impact on our discussions in this section .
the high optical depth of the foreground gas trims structures for all angular size scales , however , only for the emissions redder than the systemic velocity of -3 kms@xmath8 .
the mean velocities in those extended and compact broad @xmath0co emission regions are apparently redder than the mean velocity of the ambient gas .
if the high velocity dispersion is an artifact caused by the high optical depth of the foreground gas , we expect to detect a bluer mean velocity .
[ [ compare - with-1.3-mm - continuum - emissions ] ] compare with 1.3 mm continuum emissions + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + in massive cluster forming regions , flux in 1.3 mm continuum emission is dominantly contributed by the thermal dust emission , and the free free continuum emission from uc hii regions ( keto , zhang , & kurtz 2008 ) . to see the relation between those broad @xmath0co interaction signatures with the dense molecular gas
, we mark the locations of those broad @xmath0co interaction signatures ( as well as the locations of the 22 ghz water masers ) on the 1.3 mm continuum image ( figure [ fig_1p3 mm ] ) . from the 1.3 mm continuum image
, we first see an abrupt increase of the 1.3 mm continuum flux in the middle , which suggests the distinct origins of the flux .
we identify two uc hii regions from high resolution centimeter continuum images ( keto , ho & haschick 1988 ; guilloteau et al .
1988 ; sollins et al . 2005 ; liu et al .
2010abc ) , and mark their locations on the 1.3 mm continuum image .
those centimeter continuum emissions indicate that in the middle of the 1.3 mm continuum map , the free free continuum emission from the uc hii region contribute significantly . in the extended region ,
the 1.3 mm continuum emission is dominantly contributed by the thermal dust emission , except for a fainter uc hii region in the northwest .
the thermal dust emission unveils abundant dense cores over a 0.5 pc region .
three dusty dense cores ( ra:18@xmath2610@[email protected] , decl : -19@xmath1055@[email protected] ; ra:18@xmath2610@[email protected] , decl:-19@xmath1055@[email protected] ; ra:18@xmath2610@[email protected] , decl : -19@xmath1055@[email protected] ) are closely associated with the identified broad interaction signatures of @xmath0co outflows .
the core at the northeast ( ra:18@xmath2610@[email protected] , decl : -19@xmath1055@[email protected] ) is further associated with a water maser source ( hofner & churchwell 1996 ) .
the associations with water maser sources and outflow signatures indicates that those dense cores are actively forming stars .
this core shows a complicated geometry , which may be explained by hierarchical fragmentations .
the dense core at ra= 18@xmath2610@[email protected] and decl=-19@xmath1055@[email protected] is apparently elongated , and has internal structures , which may be explained by fragmentation , or can be observationally caused by blending . [
[ compare - with - lowmass - protostellar - outflows ] ] compare with low
mass protostellar outflows + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + from the observations of the ch@xmath1oh j=2 transitions with upper level energy e@xmath22 of 4.6412.2 k , takakuwa ,
ohashi & hirano ( 2003 ) suggests that in the class 0 low mass protostar iram 04191 + 1522 , the enhanced broad ch@xmath1oh emission trace the interactions between the protostellar outflow and its parent molecular core .
similar to what is observed in g10.6 - 0.4 , the pv diagram of ch@xmath1oh in iram 04191 + 1522 shows the distinguishable interaction signature with the envelope component .
the interaction signatures in iram 04191 + 1522 have the size scale of @xmath20.03 pc , closely associated with the protostellar envelope .
observations in other nearby protostellar outflows ( bachiller et al . 1995 , 1998 , and 2001 ; garay et al . 1998 ) show the localized enhancement of the ch@xmath1oh abundance in the strongly shocked regions around 0.1 pc from the ejecting sources .
this 0.030.1 pc size scale correspond to the angular scale of 1@xmath93@xmath9 at the distance of g10.6 - 0.4 ( 6 kpc ) , which is marginally resolved in our observations ( table [ table_parameters ] ) ; and this scale is small as compared with the size scale of the massive envelope traced by ch@xmath1oh ( 20@xmath930@xmath9 ) . supposedly these observed phenomena in nearby clouds and their interpretations can be extrapolated to the distant massive dense envelopes with higher temperature and high density .
then each of the detected broad ch@xmath1oh interaction signature may be associated with an independent ejecting protostar .
the distribution of the observed broad ch@xmath1oh emission features in g10.6 - 0.4 suggests the abundant star formation activities over the entire @xmath20.5 pc scale dense envelope . in g10.6
- 0.4 , we already detected three uc hii regions , indicating that multiple massive stars have already been formed .
it is not surprising if there are many massive or low mass ( proto)stars , which are still in accretion phase and are ejecting the molecular outflows .
we expect higher resolution observations in lower excitation ch@xmath1oh to reveal more protostellar objects .
note that the detection of the thermal radio jets is regarded as one of the most robust methods to identify protostellar objects in the accretion phase .
however , in uc hii regions , the free - free emission around the embedded ob cluster has the flux of a few jy , which is of 34 orders of magnitude brighter than the typically flux of the thermal radio jets .
the bright free - free emission associated with the ob cluster ionization can have complicated spatial distribution and geometry , which will confuse the detection of the thermal radio jets .
the shock enhanced molecular emission potentially provides good complementary information in the diagnostic of the star forming activities . from figure [ fig_ch3oh_outflow0 ]
, we see that a population of protostellar and stellar activities ( four ch@xmath1oh outflow interaction signatures as indicated by three boxes and one white circle , and two uc hii regions as indicated by stars ) seem to have a coplanar distribution , suggesting a scenario of enhanced star formation in the rotationally flattened dense envelope .
this scenario is supported by recent numerical hydrodynamical simulations ( peters et al .
2010 ) .
some protostellar and stellar activities seem to follow the filaments detected in the intermediate velocity @xmath0co emissions . owing to the projection effect
, we can not robustly distinguish whether those activities are just distributed in the bulk of the envelope .
the _ hcn outflow _ is characterized by the significantly higher hcn ( 3 - 2 ) flux . among all outflow systems detected by @xmath0co ,
the _ hcn outflow _ is also the unique case where we detect the sio ( 8 - 7 ) emission .
the deconvolved size scale of the @xmath0co emission is about 2@xmath9 , and its location is close to the central 0.1 pc scale hot toroid .
figure [ fig_hcn ] shows the velocity integrated maps of hcn ( 3 - 2 ) , sio ( 8 - 7 ) , and the blueshifted @xmath0co , in the top and the middle panels , and shows the 3.6 cm continuum image in the bottom panel . from this figure we see the locally enhanced hcn emission , for which the location and geometry agree excellently with those of its @xmath0co counter part .
the distribution of the sio emission is consistent with the @xmath0co and hcn emission .
subjected to the non uniform uv coverage , the sio ( 8 - 7 ) data have an elongated synthesized beam , and therefore the projected geometry of the emission and the peak location are poorly constrained . in figure [ fig_hcnpv ]
, we present the pv diagrams of hcn ( 3 - 2 ) , sio ( 8 - 7 ) and @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) around _ hcn outflow _ , which are all cut in the ra direction . from both panels in this figure
, we can clearly see the broad outflow signatures around the angular offset of @xmath2 - 5@xmath9 .
the hcn ( 3 - 2 ) emission and the @xmath0co emission consistently trace the outflow to the velocity of @xmath2 - 25 kms@xmath8 .
owing to the detection limit , the sio pv diagram only traces the outflow in a limited velocity range . from the pv diagram
, we see that sio is also excited in the hot toroid , which is located 2@xmath93@xmath9 east of the _
hcn outflow_. assuming the lte conditions , optically thin emission , and the excitation temperature of 100 k , we estimate the total number of the sio molecule in _ hcn outflow _ to be @xmath21.5@xmath3410@xmath51 .
we apply the same assumptions to derive the total number of the hcn and the @xmath0co molecules in the _
hcn outflow_. adopting the galactic @xmath0co abundance ( i.e. [ @xmath0co]/[h@xmath29]@xmath521@xmath3410@xmath36 ) , we list the derived number and the implied abundance ratios in table 4 . in the galactic molecular clouds , the [ hcn]/[@xmath0co ] ratio ranges from 10@xmath36 in the quiescent zone to 2.5@xmath3410@xmath53 in the hot core regions ( blake et al .
the enhanced [ hcn]/[h@xmath29 ] ratio has also been reported in other ( proto)stellar outflows ( e.g. iras 20126 : 0.10.2@xmath3410@xmath45 , su et al .
2007 ; l1157 : 5@xmath3410@xmath45 , jrgensen et al . 2004 ) . in the _ hcn outflow _ ,
the value of [ hcn]/[@xmath0co ] in the blueshifted velocity range is consistent with an enhanced hcn abundance .
if our assumption of [ @xmath0co]/[h@xmath29 ] ratio is valid , the value of [ hcn]/[h@xmath29 ] in the _ hcn outflow _ is in between of the two referenced cases .
even if the assumed [ @xmath0co]/[h@xmath29 ] ratio is overestimated by a factor of 10 ( see the discussions in section 3.2 ) , the derived [ hcn]/[h@xmath29 ] ratio in the _ hcn outflow _ is still higher than the reported typical value of @xmath547@xmath3410@xmath55 ( jrgensen et al .
the hcn molecule is usually regarded as a dense gas tracer .
our results suggest , however , that the hcn emission can also be locally enhanced in outflows and shocks around the dense core , and therefore might not be a good tracer of the overall dynamics in massive cluster forming regions . among all detected high velocity outflows , the _ hcn outflow _ does not have specifically higher linear momentum or energy . the uniqueness in the excitation of sio ( 8 - 7 ) may be explained by the heating of the central ob cluster , or be explained by the molecular gas erupted from the hot toroid with shock enhanced sio abundance .
some hints can be seen from the 3.6 cm continuum image ( figure [ fig_hcn ] , bottom panel ) , which shows an elongated emission feature around the location of the _ hcn outflow_. whether the elongated 3.6 cm emission feature is physically associated with _
hcn outflow _ or is just a projection effect can be examined by future alma observations of molecular lines and the hydrogen recombination lines .
we note that a few more elongated / filamentary features are resolved in the previous 1.3 cm free free continuum observation ( sollins et al . 2005 ) .
those elongated / filamentary features have the lengths of @xmath21@xmath9 ( 0.03 pc ) , and width of @xmath540.1@xmath9 ( 0.003 pc ) .
the physical properties and the formation mechanism of those elongated features are still uncertain .
suppose those elongated / filamentary features of 1.3 cm free
free continuum emission are ionized gas which are undergoing thermal diffusion with velocity of 10 kms@xmath8 , the @xmath540.003 pc widths imply that their age is no more than 300 years .
if all those elongated / filamentary features can also be explained by ionized outflows , the velocities of the outflows can be estimated by @xmath56 this outflow velocity is consistent with the measurement in hydrogen recombination line ( line of sight velocity 60 kms@xmath8 , keto & wood 2006 ) , although the ionized outflow is not explicitly resolved in the image .
the higher brightness of those elongated / filamentary features than the ambient regions may suggest that those outflows are originally ejected in molecular form with a much higher density , and then ionized by the stellar radiation .
the molecular counterparts of those ionized outflows are not necessarily detected , especially in the bipolar direction , if stellar ionization is important .
we suggest that the central ob cluster may accrete the molecular gas of very compact / clumpy structures ( see the nh@xmath1 opacity results , sollins & ho 2005 ) , which can survive the stellar ionization .
the molecular gas can then approach individual o type stars to the distance of @xmath210 au , and be centrifugally accelerated to the outflow velocity .
small scale accretion disks may exist around the o type stars .
however , they are not detectable with the current instruments owing to the beam dilution .
in g10.6 - 0.4 , previously we estimated the scalar momentum feedback from the stellar wind and from the ionized gas pressure to be of 10@xmath5710@xmath40 m@xmath6kms@xmath8 ( liu et al .
2010 b ) . from the @xmath0co data presented in this paper ,
we conclude that the total momentum feedback from the protostellar outflows has the same order of magnitude .
however , these feedback mechanisms can still play very different roles in the massive cluster forming regions , owing to their differences in physical properties .
the stellar wind is an isotropic feedback mechanism . by comparing the resulting star formation efficiency in numerical hydrodynamical simulations ,
nakamura & li ( 2007 ) suggested that the _ spherical wind _ can not propagate efficiently in dense gas .
the feedback from such mechanisms is trapped in small size scale , where the induced turbulence is quickly dissipated .
therefore the energy feedback from the _ spherical wind _ supports the cloud less efficiently .
the protostellar outflow is ejected from objects embedded in the local overdensities .
its momentum , however , is typically collimated in a small solid angle , which makes it penetrate the dense gas easily and can produce large scale disturbance .
the induced protostellar turbulence potentially replenishes the dissipated initial turbulence in large scale , and plays the role of regulating the cloud contraction and the star formation efficiency . from the numerical simulation ,
mac low ( 1999 ) suggested the characteristic timescale of turbulence dissipation @xmath58 and the free fall timescale @xmath59 have the relation : @xmath60 where @xmath61 is the driving scale of the turbulence , @xmath62 is the jeans length , and @xmath63 is the rms mach number of the turbulence . assuming a total mass of 10002000 m@xmath6 is enclosed in the 0.5 pc scale envelope , the global free fall timescale is about 10@xmath3 years .
if the averaged gas temperature is 3050 k , the jeans length is about 0.1 pc .
the typical value of @xmath63 can be 510 .
assuming the main driving source of the turbulence is the compact ( proto)stellar outflows , the value of @xmath61 can be estimated by the physical size scale of the observed outflow systems , which is about 0.06 pc ( 2@xmath9 ) .
therefore , the characteristic timescale @xmath58 in g10.6 - 0.4 is about 0.230.47 times of t@xmath64 , which is about a few times of 10@xmath41 years . among the outflow systems detected in g10.6 - 0.4 ,
the maximum outflow dynamical timescale is about 10@xmath41 years , which is smaller than @xmath58 .
the estimations of outflow energy in section [ chap_estimation ] suggests that the energy injection from the protostellar turbulence is capable of balancing the turbulence energy dissipation in the relevant timescale .
we provide rough estimations for the total protostellar mass from a fiducial momentum ejection efficiency i@xmath65 = p@xmath66m@xmath66 , where i@xmath65 is the total ejected scalar momentum , m@xmath66 is the total stellar mass , and p@xmath66 is a proportional factor .
following nakamura & li ( 2007 ) , we adopt p@xmath66= 50 kms@xmath8 . in g10.6 - 0.4 , the projected scalar momentum in the blueshifted and
the redshifted velocity ranges is 273 m@xmath6kms@xmath8 , which leads to @xmath67@xmath34m@xmath66 = 5.45 m@xmath6 , where @xmath67 is the ratio of the scalar momentum contributed by the line of sight velocity component to the total scalar momentum .
statistically the value of @xmath67 can be estimated by @xmath68 assuming the inclination angle of the outflows are uniformly randomly distributed .
given the 10002000 m@xmath6 total molecular mass in the envelope , the star formation efficiency ( sfe ) in the past 10@xmath41 years is about 0.42%0.86% . assuming a uniform star formation rate in the time domain , the star formation efficiency in one free
fall timescale is of the order of a few percent .
this estimated sfe is comparable to the sfe in the simulations of nakamura & li ( 2007 ) , consistently suggesting the cloud contraction is self regulated by the local star formation .
high resolution observations of the thermal dust emission to statistically study the prestellar and protostellar cores , will further improve the constraint on the efficiency of the outflow feedback .
the number of the ysos can be statistically estimated by dividing m@xmath66 with the averaged protostellar mass @xmath69 .
the fiducial value of @xmath69 based on the scalo ( 1986 ) initial mass function ( imf ) is 0.5 m@xmath6 . in g10.6 - 0.4
, the value of @xmath69 can be biased by the evolutionary stage , and potentially the observational selection bias that we only pick up the systems with powerful molecular outflows . assuming the detected outflows are associated with ysos , which on average have @xmath21 m@xmath6 stellar mass , the number of the ysos can be estimated by m@xmath66/1.0 = 8.56 .
the surface density of these ysos in the @xmath20.5 pc region is therefore @xmath28.56/(0.5@xmath57 ) @xmath2 34 pc@xmath70 .
the derived yso surface density should be treated as a lower limit since our observations do not trace protostellar objects which have weak or no outflows . alternatively
, we can assume each of the compact high velocity outflows ( r@xmath44 , b@xmath42 , @xmath43 ) is associated with one protostellar objects .
considering also the non identified outflow systems in the intermediate velocity range , there can be @xmath210 protostellar objects in total in the observed region .
if estimating the averaged mass of each protostellar object by 1 m@xmath6 , our observational results suggest that an order of @xmath210 m@xmath6 molecular gas are converted into ( proto)stellar objects in @xmath210@xmath41 years .
the system potentially evolves into a stellar cluster with on order of 10@xmath57 stars in a few t@xmath64 .
the ionized gas only propagates in low density regions , which have low recombination rates . however , our previous studies ( liu et al . 2010
b ) suggest that the thermal pressure of the ionized gas is capable of driving the large scale ( a few times of 0.1 pc ) coherent motions , such as the expansional motions of the ionized cavities or the bubble walls .
the absolute velocity of such kind of motion is about a few kms@xmath8 , and which is smaller than the thermal sound speed of the ionized gas ( @xmath210 kms@xmath8 ) .
the efficiency of converting the kinetic energy in such expansional motion to the large scale turbulence energy has to be investigated in theoretical studies .
we present the arcsecond resolution interferometry observations of the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) transition . from the distribution and the mass / momentum / energy of the detected high velocity outflows , we discuss the role of the outflow feedback in the massive cluster formation region .
our main results are : * we detect multiple high velocity outflow components in the blueshifted and the redshifted velocity ranges , respectively .
the total molecular mass in these outflow systems are about 10 m@xmath6 , and the total momentum and energy budgets are of the order of 10@xmath57 m@xmath6kms@xmath8 and 10@xmath4 erg , respectively . * no high velocity bipolar molecular outflow parallel to the global rotational axis is directly detected around the central 0.1 pc hot toroid .
however , we can not rule out the possibility that it is photo ionized . *
the @xmath0co outflows are interacting with the dense molecular envelope , which can be diagnosed by the ch@xmath1oh , hcn , and the sio shock signatures .
* from the distribution of the uc hii regions , we know that multiple massive stars have been formed in the 0.5 pc scale massive envelope , and not only formed in the central 0.1 pc hot toroid . from the association of high velocity outflows with water maser sources , and with the interaction signatures detected in thermal molecular emission , we suggest that multiple protostellar objects with @xmath210 m@xmath6 in total may also have been formed within 10@xmath41 years . the star formation efficiency over one global free fall timescale is of the order of a few percent .
* we detect strongly enhanced hcn ( 3 - 2 ) emission in a outflow system near the hot toroid , and therefore suggest that hcn is not a good tracer for the global dynamics .
we will follow up the polarization observation to provide thorough discussions of the energetic relation in this source .
we emphasize that the discussions and conclusions in this paper are relevant to the cluster forming regions with size scale of a parsec or a fraction of a parsec , and with mass of thousands of m@xmath6 . in less massive systems ( with lower opacity )
, the radiative hydrodynamical simulations suggest that the heating by the stellar radiation efficiently suppress the star formation ( offner et al .
2009 ) .
baobab liu thanks the sma staff to support the observations . _
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we present the channel maps of the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) line and the hcn ( 3 - 2 ) lines in this section .
figure [ fig_cochan1 ] , [ fig_cochan2 ] , [ fig_cochan3 ] , and [ fig_cochan4 ] show the @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) line in the velocity channels of -131.5 kms@xmath8 77 kms@xmath8 .
contour levels are adjusted according to the rms noise .
we think the channel maps in the redshifted velocity channels ( 9.5 [email protected] kms@xmath8 ) are contaminated by the contribution of the foreground molecular gas , and therefore show subparsec scale diffuse emission , which are not seen in the channel maps in the blueshifted velocity range ( -124.75 -15.25 kms@xmath8 ) .
the absorption line of @xmath0co ( 2 - 1 ) is also detected at the location of the free - free continuum peak ( ra:18:10:28.683 dec:-19:55:49.07 ) , up to @xmath13@xmath245 kms@xmath8 .
the hi absorption experiment ( caswell et al . 1975 ) consistently shows the foreground absorption up to @xmath13@xmath245 kms@xmath8 .
figure [ fig_hcnchan1 ] show the channel maps of the hcn ( 3 - 2 ) line .
we note the high consistency between the hcn and the @xmath0co channel maps . in the hcn ( 3 - 2 ) channel maps ,
the low velocity counterpart of outflow r@xmath1 ( see section [ chap_name ] ) may be visually identified in the velocity range of 7.5 kms@xmath812 kms@xmath8 ; and the low velocity counterparts of outflow b@xmath1 and b@xmath71 may be visually identified in the velocity range of -10.5 kms@xmath8 -15 kms@xmath8 ; the _ hcn outflow _ can be seen in the same velocity range as covered by its @xmath0co emission
figure [ fig_ch3ohoutflow_pv ] shows the pv diagrams of the ch@xmath1oh 5(0,5)-4(0,4 ) a+ transition , at the locations of three broad ch@xmath1oh interaction signatures , and at the location of two water maser sources .
those ch@xmath1oh interaction signatures are visually identified from the @xmath47 maps ( section [ chap_broadch3oh ] ) .
the position angles of the pv cuts are chosen purposely to detect the broad line emissions and to avoid the confusion with nearby interaction signatures .
these figures provides complementary information in the velocity space , which can not be explicitly seen in the @xmath47 maps .
the first three panels in figure [ fig_ch3ohoutflow_pv ] present the pv diagrams at three broad ch@xmath1oh interaction signatures . from these panels ,
we see broad emissions features of 1@xmath92@xmath9 angular sizescale around the zero angular offset , the last two panels in figure [ fig_ch3ohoutflow_pv ] present the pv diagrams at two water maser sources , which are associated with high velocity @xmath0co outflows ( section [ chap_name ] ) . in panel
( 4 ) , the broad emission signature can be seen around the angular offset of 0@xmath92@xmath9 ; in panel ( 5 ) , the broad emission signature can be seen around the angular offset of 1@xmath93@xmath9 .
the angular offset of 3@xmath9 corresponds to the physical size scale of 0.09 pc .
suppose the water maser sources mark the exact location of the stellar object , the 0.09 pc separation of the interaction signature from the water mater source is consistent with the typical size scale of the molecular outflow .
.table of the selected molecular transitions .
the quantum number of the transitions are listed in the first column .
their frequencies and upper - level - energy(e@xmath22 ) are listed in the second and the third column .
the einstein a coefficient of each transition is listed in the fourth column . [ cols="<,>,^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] % of the peak brightness temperature 49 k. red triangles mark the locations of the 22 ghz water maser ( hofner & churchwell 1996 ) .
two green crosses mark the locations of the peaks of 1.3 cm free - free continuum emission .
blue diamonds mark the locations of 5 broad @xmath0co outflow interaction signatures ( see section [ chap_diagnose ] ) . ] | arxiv |
Taylor Mountain is a summit at the northern extreme of the Sonoma Mountains in California. The mountain lies in the Laguna de Santa Rosa drainage basin; its east flank drains to Matanzas Creek, a northwestward flowing stream running the length of Bennett Valley, and its west flank drains to Five Creek. The mountain is named after California Gold Rush pioneer John Shackleford Taylor, who settled on the mountain slopes in 1853 to raise dairy cows and plant a vineyard.
North of Taylor Mountain, Taylor Ridge descends toward the city of Santa Rosa. Some of Santa Rosa's urban expansion is taking place to the east of this ridge.
Taylor Mountain is readily visible from Sonoma Mountain, Bennett Valley, the Santa Rosa Plain and from as far north as the Alexander Valley.
The peak of Taylor Mountain defines in part the boundary between the Sonoma Coast AVA and the Sonoma Valley AVA, two federally designated grape-growing regions. Wines made from grapes grown on its western slopes would qualify for the Sonoma Coast appellation, whereas those made from grapes grown on its eastern slopes would qualify for the Sonoma Valley appellation.
Taylor Mountain Regional Park
The Taylor Mountain Open Space Preserve encompasses over of Taylor Mountain. The land was purchased for public use between 1995 and 2011 by the Sonoma County Agricultural Preservation and Open Space District. A Landpaths permit program allowed public access in 2010. The park was opened to the general public on February 23, 2013 with four miles of dirt trails for hikers. A second entrance and trailhead opened along Petaluma Hill Road, south of Yolanda Avenue, on June 13, 2015. The new entrance includes amenities such as picnic tables and parking for horse trailers. From this entrance, you can take a trail which connects to the other side of the park. Licensed dogs are allowed on leashes no longer than 6 feet. The flanks of the peak provide panoramic views of the Santa Rosa Plains to the west with Bennett Valley and Annadel State Park to the north. Trail access is from a parking lot near the eastern end of Kawana Terrace off Kawana Springs Road east of Santa Rosa Avenue and Petaluma Hill Road. There is a $7 fee per vehicle for day use. The park is open from 8 AM to sunset.
See also
List of summits of the San Francisco Bay Area
Miwok
Spring Creek
Yulupa Creek
References
External links
Category:Sonoma Mountains
Category:Mountains of Sonoma County, California
Category:Mountains of the San Francisco Bay Area
Category:Mountains of Northern California | wikipedia |
there were 9 million new tb cases and approximately 2 million deaths from tb in 2004 .
more than 80% of all tb patients live in sub - saharan africa and asia . with the advent of hiv , tuberculosis is posing a serious health hazard , even in regions of the world where tuberculosis is not endemic .
the sternal and coccygeal regions are rare sites for tuberculosis , and require a high degree of suspicion for diagnosis , especially when they occur in combination in an immunocompetent patient .
a 20-year - old female presented with a history of pain in the chest and coccygeal region for 1 year .
there were no systemic symptoms of fever , weight loss , or loss of appetite .
she was negative for hiv based on an elisa method , and her erythrocyte sedimentation rate was 40 mm / h .
radiograph of the sternum and coccyx revealed an osteolytic lesion in the sternum and a similar lesion in the coccyx .
an mri of the sternal and sacrococcygeal regions was obtained which revealed a destructive lesion in the sternum and destruction of the coccyx with an abscess extending into the left gluteal region ( fig . 1 ) .
technetium-99 m mdp bone scintigraphy was performed , which revealed photopenic areas with mildly increased tracer uptake surrounding the photopenic areas in the sternum and coccyx , with no other bony lesions ( fig .
i destructive lesion in the sternum , ii destructive lesion in the coccyx with an abscess , iii abscess extending into the left gluteal regionfig .
2technetium-99 m mdp bone scan of the patient . a photopenic area with surrounding increased tracer uptake in the sternum .
b photopenic area with surrounding increased tracer uptake in the coccyx magnetic resonance imaging of the sternal and sacrococcygeal regions .
i destructive lesion in the sternum , ii destructive lesion in the coccyx with an abscess , iii abscess extending into the left gluteal region technetium-99 m mdp bone scan of the patient . a photopenic area with surrounding increased tracer uptake in the sternum .
b photopenic area with surrounding increased tracer uptake in the coccyx tru - cut needle biopsies were obtained from the sternal and coccygeal lesions and sent for gram staining , afb staining , histopathology , and cultures , including a tubercular culture .
the histologic picture was that of chronic inflammation with a caseating granuloma compatible with tuberculosis .
a diagnosis of tuberculosis of the sternum and coccyx was established , based on the histopathology .
the patient was started on antitubercular therapy in the form of a four - drug regimen consisting of rifampicin ( 10 mg / kg ) , isoniazid ( 10 mg / kg ) , pyrazinamide ( 35 mg / kg ) , and ethambutol ( 30 mg / kg ) for 2 months , followed by rifampicin ( 10 mg / kg ) and isoniazid ( 10 mg / kg ) for 4 months , as per the national government s guidelines .
along with this , local support for the coccygeal region was provided and supportive measures to improve the nutritional status were taken .
the culture reports , which were obtained after 8 weeks , were positive for mycobacterium tuberculosis bacilli .
the patient showed progressive improvement within 1 month of starting the therapy , and was completely relieved of her complaints after 3 months .
after successfully completing the therapy for 6 months , the patient was followed up for 3 years , and showed no recurrence of symptoms .
multicentric tuberculosis is usually seen in immunocompromised patients ; other predisposing factors are intravenous drug use , diabetes mellitus , alcohol abuse , and hepatic cirrhosis .
sternal osteomyelitis caused by mycobacterium tuberculosis is a rare entity , accounting for less than 1% of all cases of osteoarticular tuberculosis , and coccygeal tuberculosis is an even rarer entity , with only one reported case in the english literature .
tuberculosis at both of these sites at the same time has also not been reported in the english literature previously .
a painful coccyx is a common complaint in women due to the posterior prominence of the coccyx anatomically in the female pelvis , meaning that it is exposed to multiple traumas .
however , physicians should also consider atypical conditions such as tuberculosis in patients presenting with coccygodynia , especially those who are refractory to treatment with conservative measures , and in association with hiv .
most sacral and sacrococcygeal lesions heal with adequate local support and antitubercular therapy , but coccygectomy may be essential in refractory cases .
sternal tuberculosis usually presents as tuberculous osteomyelitis or rarely as a tuberculous granuloma , or remotely as metastatic disease [ 4 , 5 ] .
plain radiographs are usually insufficient , and further imaging in the form of ct or mri is usually required .
however , surgical intervention in the form of resection may be required on rare occasions , followed by local rotation flaps .
although no primary focus of infection could be located in our patient , the mode of involvement is most likely hematogenous , as suggested by its multicentric nature .
other routes of tuberculous involvement are direct inoculation , extension from adjacent bones or joints , and lymphogenous spread . to conclude ,
tuberculosis can present in any form or organ of the human body . in spite of the great strides made in its management
therefore , it is essential for all physicians to keep tuberculosis in the differential diagnosis of patients with atypical presentations in atypical locations , thus enabling its early diagnosis and better treatment . | pubmed |
this observational study was approved by the institutional ethics committee ( s-057/2009 ) and written informed consent was obtained from all participants .
nine patients with an established diagnosis of l5 radiculopathy or spinal nerve lesion and 3 patients with an established s1 radiculopathy or spinal nerve lesion were included .
since nerves can be damaged at any point from their exit from the spinal cord as ventral and dorsal nerve rootlets and roots , which then enter the vertebral foramen to form the spinal nerve , we here subsume these different anatomical segments under the term spinal nerve root . likewise , corresponding preforaminal , intraforaminal , and postforaminal lesion sites are subsumed further as radiculopathy ( including proximal spinal nerve lesions ) to distinguish them from sciatic mononeuropathies occurring distal to plexus formation .
confirmation of diagnosis in patients was based on a combination of clinical , electrophysiologic , and imaging findings : paresis ( medical research council grade 4 ) in l5 or s1 innervated muscles ; evidence of myotomal denervation on emg and exclusion of large fiber polyneuropathy ( pnp ) on electroneurography according to standard practice recommendations ; spine and plexus mri results , and in cases of traumatic injuries involving fractures also ct ; and lower leg muscle denervation patterns consistent with either l5 or s1 spinal nerve root affection on mri .
twenty age - matched healthy subjects ( 10 women , 10 men , 50.3 11.6 years ) without symptoms of peripheral neuropathy , or risk factors such as diabetes , alcoholism , or infectious disease served as healthy controls for quantitative and qualitative analysis .
another 12 patients ( 6 women , 6 men , 54.6 14.1 years ) with confirmed diagnosis of pnp ( 5 chronic inflammatory demyelinating pnp , 2 monoclonal gammopathy - associated pnp , 1 each multifocal acquired demyelinating sensory and motor neuropathy , multifocal motor neuropathy , hereditary motor and sensory neuropathy i , uremic pnp , graft - vs - host disease
associated pnp ) , but not typical symptoms of l5 or s1 radiculopathy , were included as a second control group for qualitative analysis .
patients were examined at the department of neuroradiology of heidelberg university hospital , germany , between may 2010 and july 2014 .
mrn examinations at 3 t ( magnetom verio ; siemens , erlangen , germany ) were performed with axial high - resolution t2-weighted fat - saturated section blocks ( repetition time / echo time 7,552/52 milliseconds , spectral fat saturation , acquisition time 7:07 minutes , matrix 512 358 , field of view 140 mm , voxel size 0.27 0.27 3.0 mm , interslice gap 0.3 mm , slices 45 for each slab ) using an 8-channel phased - array extremity coil ( siemens ) to cover the sciatic nerve and its branches at thigh and knee levels .
additional imaging in all patients covered the lumbosacral plexus from l3 spinal nerves to at least the sciatic notch with a 3-dimensional turbo spin echo with variable flip - angle sequence ( repetition time / echo time / inversion time 3,800/266/180 milliseconds , acquisition time 8:32 minutes , matrix 320 320 , field of view 305 mm , voxel size 0.95 0.95 1.0 mm , slices 104 ) using a 2 6 channel flexible body surface array coil and 12-channel spine array .
sciatic nerve cross - sections for each patient were taken at a representative position 17 cm proximal to the knee joint space .
fibular and tibial nerve divisions were segmented separately and aligned since they divide at interindividually different levels .
images were flipped horizontally from left to right in patients with left - sided symptoms to achieve anatomical comparability . for generation of spatial representation maps on group level ,
intersubject image registration was performed with 6 degrees of freedom ( fmrib [ oxford centre for functional magnetic resonance imaging of the brain ] software library version 5.0 ) .
signal normalization was achieved by calculating the ratio between nerve t2 signal and t2 signal of adjacent nondenervated muscle on the corresponding slice . then , spatial maps of mean normalized t2 values were rendered for patients .
, m.p . ) blinded to the diagnosis into one of the following lesion pattern categories : ( 1 ) normal , ( 2 ) disseminated lesion pattern , or ( 3 ) somatotopic lesion pattern . if a subject was rated as having a somatotopic lesion pattern , it was further rated as either l5 or s1 pattern .
only images containing the sciatic nerve at thigh and knee level were used for this , since more proximal or more distal images might have disclosed the diagnosis ( e.g. , by revealing root compression or distal denervation patterns ) .
this observational study was approved by the institutional ethics committee ( s-057/2009 ) and written informed consent was obtained from all participants .
nine patients with an established diagnosis of l5 radiculopathy or spinal nerve lesion and 3 patients with an established s1 radiculopathy or spinal nerve lesion were included .
since nerves can be damaged at any point from their exit from the spinal cord as ventral and dorsal nerve rootlets and roots , which then enter the vertebral foramen to form the spinal nerve , we here subsume these different anatomical segments under the term spinal nerve root . likewise , corresponding preforaminal , intraforaminal , and postforaminal lesion sites are subsumed further as radiculopathy ( including proximal spinal nerve lesions ) to distinguish them from sciatic mononeuropathies occurring distal to plexus formation .
confirmation of diagnosis in patients was based on a combination of clinical , electrophysiologic , and imaging findings : paresis ( medical research council grade 4 ) in l5 or s1 innervated muscles ; evidence of myotomal denervation on emg and exclusion of large fiber polyneuropathy ( pnp ) on electroneurography according to standard practice recommendations ; spine and plexus mri results , and in cases of traumatic injuries involving fractures also ct ; and lower leg muscle denervation patterns consistent with either l5 or s1 spinal nerve root affection on mri .
twenty age - matched healthy subjects ( 10 women , 10 men , 50.3 11.6 years ) without symptoms of peripheral neuropathy , or risk factors such as diabetes , alcoholism , or infectious disease served as healthy controls for quantitative and qualitative analysis .
another 12 patients ( 6 women , 6 men , 54.6 14.1 years ) with confirmed diagnosis of pnp ( 5 chronic inflammatory demyelinating pnp , 2 monoclonal gammopathy - associated pnp , 1 each multifocal acquired demyelinating sensory and motor neuropathy , multifocal motor neuropathy , hereditary motor and sensory neuropathy i , uremic pnp , graft - vs - host disease associated pnp ) , but not typical symptoms of l5 or s1 radiculopathy , were included as a second control group for qualitative analysis .
patients were examined at the department of neuroradiology of heidelberg university hospital , germany , between may 2010 and july 2014 .
mrn examinations at 3 t ( magnetom verio ; siemens , erlangen , germany ) were performed with axial high - resolution t2-weighted fat - saturated section blocks ( repetition time / echo time 7,552/52 milliseconds , spectral fat saturation , acquisition time 7:07 minutes , matrix 512 358 , field of view 140 mm , voxel size 0.27 0.27 3.0 mm , interslice gap 0.3 mm , slices 45 for each slab ) using an 8-channel phased - array extremity coil ( siemens ) to cover the sciatic nerve and its branches at thigh and knee levels .
additional imaging in all patients covered the lumbosacral plexus from l3 spinal nerves to at least the sciatic notch with a 3-dimensional turbo spin echo with variable flip - angle sequence ( repetition time / echo time / inversion time 3,800/266/180 milliseconds , acquisition time 8:32 minutes , matrix 320 320 , field of view 305 mm , voxel size 0.95 0.95 1.0 mm , slices 104 ) using a 2 6 channel flexible body surface array coil and 12-channel spine array .
sciatic nerve cross - sections for each patient were taken at a representative position 17 cm proximal to the knee joint space .
fibular and tibial nerve divisions were segmented separately and aligned since they divide at interindividually different levels .
images were flipped horizontally from left to right in patients with left - sided symptoms to achieve anatomical comparability . for generation of spatial representation maps on group level ,
intersubject image registration was performed with 6 degrees of freedom ( fmrib [ oxford centre for functional magnetic resonance imaging of the brain ] software library version 5.0 ) .
signal normalization was achieved by calculating the ratio between nerve t2 signal and t2 signal of adjacent nondenervated muscle on the corresponding slice .
, m.p . ) blinded to the diagnosis into one of the following lesion pattern categories : ( 1 ) normal , ( 2 ) disseminated lesion pattern , or ( 3 ) somatotopic lesion pattern . if a subject was rated as having a somatotopic lesion pattern , it was further rated as either l5 or s1 pattern .
only images containing the sciatic nerve at thigh and knee level were used for this , since more proximal or more distal images might have disclosed the diagnosis ( e.g. , by revealing root compression or distal denervation patterns ) .
twelve patients ( 55.3 15.5 years ) were included with lesions of either the l5 ( 9 patients ) or s1 ( 3 patients ) spinal nerve root ( table ) . diagnosis was based on clinical presentation with emg results , and imaging of the spine and lumbosacral plexus additionally localized the lesion in all cases to the corresponding l5 or s1 spinal nerve root .
clinical data of patients in all cases of l5 radiculopathy , lesion extension along the longitudinal course of sciatic nerve fascicles followed a distinct internal pattern of topographic organization within the nerve cross - section ( figure 1 ) .
ventral and lateral fascicles in the sciatic nerve displayed pathologically increased t2 signal , while dorsal fascicles were normal .
( a ) complete array of representative axial images of the sciatic nerve for each patient , at thigh level 17 cm proximal to the knee joint space .
lesioned fascicles within sciatic nerve are located anterolateral in patients with l5 neuropathy and posteromedial in patients with s1 neuropathy .
images are flipped horizontally from left to right in patients with left - sided affection to obtain comparability .
fibular and tibial divisions are separated from each other since they divide at different levels interindividually .
( b ) color - coded spatial map of pathologically increased t2 signal , calculated as the group mean after intersubject image registration with 6 degrees of freedom . note that , because of the calculation mode by relative signal intensity values , this map serves for visualization purposes alone and not as a fully quantitative probability map . in all cases of s1 radiculopathy ,
lesion extension along the longitudinal course of sciatic nerve fascicles again followed a distinct pattern of topographic organization , affecting predominantly dorsal fascicles . l5 and s1 lesions appeared complementary and congruent to each other with little spatial overlap .
lesion patterns were delineated in cross - sections of the sciatic nerve along its entire length until knee level ( figure 2 ) .
sciatic nerve cross - sections level of exemplary patients are shown at different thigh levels .
precise spatial position is given in millimeters proximal to the knee joint by cross - referencing with mri localizers .
left smaller divisions correspond to fibular , right divisions to tibial division of the sciatic nerve .
l5 lesions are associated with t2-weighted hyperintense anterolateral fascicles ; s1 lesions are obvious in posterior fascicles along the course of the sciatic nerve .
healthy controls do not exhibit nerve lesions , whereas polyneuropathies ( pnps ) ( case of multifocal motor neuropathy shown above ) have short , discontinuous scattered lesion in an apparently random fashion .
mainly the extensor and fibular compartment is affected as well as the posterior tibial and popliteal muscle . in s1 lesions , soleus and gastrocnemius muscles
are mainly affected . in diffuse pnp , all muscles can be affected . at calf level ,
muscle denervation patterns were consistent with the diagnosis of l5 and s1 lesions and corresponded to the somatotopic lesion pattern within the sciatic nerve .
somatotopic lesion distribution was discriminated against normal ( healthy control group ) and disseminated ( pnp control group ) lesion patterns by qualitative visual assessment with high diagnostic accuracy and strong interobserver agreement .
all 12 sciatic nerves with l5 or s1 lesions were correctly rated as somatotopic lesions , and all 12 pnp controls correctly as disseminated neuropathy by both readers .
further discrimination of somatotopic lesion patterns into etiologies of l5 vs s1 lesions was correct in all cases .
healthy controls were correctly rated normal in 17/20 and 16/20 cases and falsely rated positive in 3/20 and 4/20 as pnp by rater 1 and 2 , respectively ( overall cohen = 0.95 ) , resulting in a specificity of 82.5% and a sensitivity of 100% .
twelve patients ( 55.3 15.5 years ) were included with lesions of either the l5 ( 9 patients ) or s1 ( 3 patients ) spinal nerve root ( table ) . diagnosis was based on clinical presentation with emg results , and imaging of the spine and lumbosacral plexus additionally localized the lesion in all cases to the corresponding l5 or s1 spinal nerve root .
in all cases of l5 radiculopathy , lesion extension along the longitudinal course of sciatic nerve fascicles followed a distinct internal pattern of topographic organization within the nerve cross - section ( figure 1 ) .
ventral and lateral fascicles in the sciatic nerve displayed pathologically increased t2 signal , while dorsal fascicles were normal .
( a ) complete array of representative axial images of the sciatic nerve for each patient , at thigh level 17 cm proximal to the knee joint space .
lesioned fascicles within sciatic nerve are located anterolateral in patients with l5 neuropathy and posteromedial in patients with s1 neuropathy .
images are flipped horizontally from left to right in patients with left - sided affection to obtain comparability .
fibular and tibial divisions are separated from each other since they divide at different levels interindividually .
( b ) color - coded spatial map of pathologically increased t2 signal , calculated as the group mean after intersubject image registration with 6 degrees of freedom . note that , because of the calculation mode by relative signal intensity values , this map serves for visualization purposes alone and not as a fully quantitative probability map . in all cases of s1 radiculopathy , lesion extension along the longitudinal course of sciatic nerve fascicles again followed a distinct pattern of topographic organization , affecting predominantly dorsal fascicles . l5 and s1 lesions appeared complementary and congruent to each other with little spatial overlap .
lesion patterns were delineated in cross - sections of the sciatic nerve along its entire length until knee level ( figure 2 ) .
sciatic nerve cross - sections level of exemplary patients are shown at different thigh levels .
precise spatial position is given in millimeters proximal to the knee joint by cross - referencing with mri localizers .
left smaller divisions correspond to fibular , right divisions to tibial division of the sciatic nerve .
l5 lesions are associated with t2-weighted hyperintense anterolateral fascicles ; s1 lesions are obvious in posterior fascicles along the course of the sciatic nerve .
healthy controls do not exhibit nerve lesions , whereas polyneuropathies ( pnps ) ( case of multifocal motor neuropathy shown above ) have short , discontinuous scattered lesion in an apparently random fashion .
mainly the extensor and fibular compartment is affected as well as the posterior tibial and popliteal muscle .
muscle denervation patterns were consistent with the diagnosis of l5 and s1 lesions and corresponded to the somatotopic lesion pattern within the sciatic nerve .
somatotopic lesion distribution was discriminated against normal ( healthy control group ) and disseminated ( pnp control group ) lesion patterns by qualitative visual assessment with high diagnostic accuracy and strong interobserver agreement .
all 12 sciatic nerves with l5 or s1 lesions were correctly rated as somatotopic lesions , and all 12 pnp controls correctly as disseminated neuropathy by both readers .
further discrimination of somatotopic lesion patterns into etiologies of l5 vs s1 lesions was correct in all cases .
healthy controls were correctly rated normal in 17/20 and 16/20 cases and falsely rated positive in 3/20 and 4/20 as pnp by rater 1 and 2 , respectively ( overall cohen = 0.95 ) , resulting in a specificity of 82.5% and a sensitivity of 100% .
we here report in vivo evidence of the somatotopic organization of the human sciatic nerve according to its main proximal contributors , the l5 and s1 spinal nerve roots .
apparently , sciatic nerve fascicles maintain a clearly arranged spatial position within the nerve cross - section depending on their origin from spinal nerve roots , not only within the proximal nerve trunk but even until the bifurcation of the sciatic nerve .
these findings strongly support the idea of a mainly cable - like structure within peripheral nerves .
previous investigations on the internal arrangement of the sciatic nerve have been undertaken in great anatomical detail and have unraveled the somatotopy of the sciatic nerve regarding distal innervation targets .
our study is to our knowledge the first to support the existence of a reproducible somatotopy within human peripheral nerves in vivo and according to their proximal input .
the only available experimental animal study exploring this idea , with cadaver dissection of dogs after selective spinal nerve section , found a longitudinally retained topography of spinal nerve
our in vivo findings in patients are entirely consistent with this previous animal study and demonstrate the concept of a radicular
knowledge of sciatic nerve somatotopy and imaging of selective fascicular lesions can have clinical significance in a number of different situations .
differentiation of radiculopathies from inflammatory or metabolic sciatic neuropathies is a frequently encountered clinical situation .
although expert electrodiagnostic examinations will most often lead to the correct diagnosis in common radiculopathies , needle electrode examinations are still subject to patient compliance , and time - dependence of needle electrode examinations , which may partially normalize over time . furthermore , partial spinal nerve root lesions involving , e.g. , only motor or only sensory fascicles , and interindividual variation in dermatomal and myotomal arrangement are phenomena that can complicate clinical and electrophysiologic assessment .
innervation anomalies and pure demyelinating lesions not leading to wallerian degeneration or pure sensory disturbances without emg findings can also pose diagnostic difficulties .
the latter 2 scenarios would only cause alterations in somatosensory evoked potentials or f waves that both have a limited topodiagnostic resolution . in all of these situations ,
detection of somatotopic lesions of the sciatic nerve at thigh level would yield additional diagnostic certainty .
future studies will have to investigate precisely in which clinical circumstances additional mrn provides added value .
. the small patient number does not yet allow full external generalization of our somatotopic map of the sciatic nerve .
this is especially true for the fibular portion of the sciatic nerve , which only shows minor lesions in our cases but is known to carry fascicles stemming from the s1 spinal nerve .
furthermore , we acknowledge that we can not exclude some degree of intermingling between proximal nerve fibers .
however , potential plexiform intermingling is apparently limited to such a degree that conspicuous t2 lesions on mri appear regionally restricted so that the somatotopic distribution is conserved .
experimental studies have shown that nerve degeneration by proximal lesions results in distally increased nerve t2 signal .
the appearance of t2 signal alterations in distal nerve segments after proximal lesions is likely to depend on the severity of the lesion and time .
less severe damage , which is more difficult to simulate experimentally , might take months to become visible .
future studies will need to investigate this time and stimulus dependence of distal t2 lesion appearance by proximal injury .
the somatotopic organization of fascicles within the human sciatic nerve according to its proximal input from spinal nerve roots l5 and s1 is demonstrated here in vivo by mrn .
this work therefore supports a robust somatotopic organization in peripheral nerve trunks according to proximal radicular input with clinically relevant diagnostic implications for lesion localization in the peripheral nervous system .
philipp bumer : study design , acquisition of data , analysis and interpretation of data , drafting / revising the manuscript for content .
markus weiler : acquisition of data , analysis and interpretation of data , drafting / revising the manuscript for content .
martin bendszus : study design , drafting / revising the manuscript for content , study supervision .
mirko pham : study design , acquisition of data , analysis or interpretation of data , drafting / revising the manuscript for content .
p.b . was supported by a postdoctoral fellowship from the medical faculty of the university of heidelberg .
m.p . was supported by a memorial stipend of the else - krner - fresenius foundation and a grant from the efsd / jdrf / novo
nordisk european programme in type 1 diabetes research . | pubmed |
We process your application to ensure you meet our basic criteria for service.
We will contact you if we have any questions or require additional documentation.
Please note, incomplete applications, including missing supporting documentation, will delay our processing timeline.
Once we receive a fully completed application, our staff will call to arrange a house preview.
During our meeting we will answer any questions you have, conduct a walk-through of your home, and look at the repair work you have requested.
We will then review your application to determine if we anticipate being able to serve you through our programs within the next year.
You will receive a letter in the mail notifying you of our decision.
If we approve your home for our programs waitlist, we will then look for a volunteer and/or sponsor group to complete some, or all, of the requested repairs.
When we find a volunteer match we will call to discuss Project Planning and Completion. | slim_pajama |
Wolves defender Jonny Castro could miss the club's Premier League clash with Huddersfield Town after suffering an injury to his right knee while playing in Spain's 1-0 victory over Bosnia-Herzegovina.
The 24-year-old lasted 51 minutes of the friendly at Estadio de Gran Canaria before he was replaced by Cesar Azpilicueta and Spain's doctors said he required further tests to establish the extent of his injury.
Jonny has scored one goal in 12 appearances for Wolves during the newly promoted club's steady start to the Premier League season but could be ruled out of Nuno Espirito Santo's defensive options for the clash with David Wagner's struggling Terriers.
A statement from Spain's doctors said: "The pain is localised on the internal side, and the picture is compatible with a medial collateral ligament lesion that, although it is still to be defined, could be a grade II-III. | slim_pajama |
Mass Effect April 11, 2194
**A/N: NSFW! ****Some Shenko fluff/smut :) ****This has been hovering at the edge of my mind ever since my birthday back in October and I mulled it over during a nice hot bubble bath. I hope you enjoy reading my first attempt at smut as much as I enjoyed writing it! It gets rather descriptive, so if you don't like that, well, you have been warned.
><strong>
* * *
><p>Nick woke up on her birthday morning to the sound of Kaidan snoring softly next to her. She was still slightly annoyed the last evening hadn't gone the way she had hoped if she was honest.<p>
They had packed the children off to Kaidan's parents for some time at the orchard over the weekend. The plan - at least Nick's plan - had been a nice dinner (without the usual squabbling of the kids which tended to turn into a food fight between the twins and their elder brother), watching the hockey game snuggled together on the couch (again, without any interruptions due to children) and then turning the snuggling into something more intense. A LOT more intense. Dinner went well, the snuggling up part also went well, but... That. Was. It. During the second intermission she had slipped away quickly to change into something slightly more seductive only to come back and find her husband sprawled on the couch, a bottle of beer held gingerly in one hand and - fast asleep.
She frowned at the memory. He had looked adorable. Kaidan always looked adorable. And hot. The was Nick's opinion, anyway. Sure, she was probably biased. The problem was he didn't even wake up to certain ministrations she had undertaken. He had just mumbled in his sleep and _turned around_. She had watched the rest of the game (Kaidan would regret having missed that as well since Vancouver had steamrolled Calgary) and had then gone to bed _alone_ in a surly mood and feeling sexually frustrated.
She glanced over at Kaidan debating whether she should wake him up or not. He was laying on his stomach, his black hair (speckled more and more with gray) tousled, his blanket kicked away. She licked her lips as her gaze wandered down his muscular back and further down to her favorite _ass_et. No, she decided after a quick look at the alarm clock, I'll let him sleep and go take a shower instead. Even if the sight of him sprawled out like that sent a jolt of lightning straight to her lower section. Maybe she would get luckier today. She grabbed the lingerie she had changed into last night and headed to the bathroom.
As she got undressed she looked into the bathroom mirror. Kaidan was still in peak physical form, she on the other hand was nowhere close to the excellent form she used to be in. She frowned again. She stepped into the shower and let the hot water batter on her shoulders. Her mind was running circles around last night. Or the last few weeks, actually. When had they had sex the last time? Two weeks ago? No, longer. Three weeks? God, no, it must be close to a month since the last time. No wonder she felt like she could orgasm just from the _thought_ of Kaidan touching her. She groaned. If he was still sleeping when she was done here she would wake him up.
"And he had better be ready for sex!" she muttered. Maybe she could call him now, claiming she had forgotten something. Damn, she should have thought of that earlier. With a sigh of frustration she finished washing her hair. After lathering down she quickly rinsed off and stepped out of the shower.
Again her gaze fell on her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She slowly dried off, not taking her eyes off her reflection, the frown on her face deepening. She was getting fat, or to be more exact, she still felt fat. The twins were almost four and she still hadn't lost the weight she had gained during that pregnancy. And she had gained a lot. Nick pulled on her panties and put on her bra. Suddenly she was afraid that was the reason they didn't have sex anymore. Maybe Kaidan missed the sculpted muscles she used to have. After all, she weighed almost twenty pounds more than she had back on the SR-1. The most frustrating thing was she worked out - when she could find the time. Nick was disgusted with herself. Her mood now thoroughly ruined, she slammed her fist into the wall next to the mirror.
* * *
><p>Kaidan noticed her getting up and going into the bathroom. Soon he heard the water of the shower running. Grinning to himself he shifted positions so he could watch her. Not directly, but through the mirrors in the bathroom and bedroom. Shepard always left the bathroom door open and Kaidan loved watching her. When she got out of the shower she stood in front of the mirror, turning from one side to the other. She continued doing so while drying off and again when she pulled on her underwear. Kaidan felt a surge of arousal flooding him. She was wearing his very favorite set. And dear God above, she looked smoking hot. Then again he thought she looked hot wearing his old hockey jersey and sweat pants. Or just his old jersey. There was something oddly satisfying and arousing at the same time about seeing her wear it.<p>
The impact of her fist with the bathroom wall startled him out of his reverie. What the hell?
Kaidan got up and walked over to the bathroom. Leaning against the door frame he waited until Nick made eye contact with him.
"Sorry about that. Didn't mean to wake you up." she sounded like she was on the verge of tears.
"Care to tell me what's bugging you?" Kaidan inquired.
"I...uh." her voice traveled off and she just motioned at her body with a wave of her hand.
"Sorry love, I haven't the pleasure of understanding you." he lifted an eyebrow. "You'll have to explain that one."
"I, uh, I am _fat_." she whispered.
Kaidan closed his eyes. Heaven help me, he thought, I thought we had cleared this out of the way after the twins were born. He open his eyes again. His wife was standing there, looking dejectedly down at the floor. "Nick...Okay. Show me."
"What?" Nick jerked her head up.
"Show me." Kaidan repeated. "Just where _exactly_ are you fat?"
She didn't reply. Putting his hands on her shoulders he led her to the big full-body mirror in the bedroom. There he turned her to face the mirror and stood a step behind her, never letting go of her shoulders. "Now look in the mirror and show me where you are fat."
She couldn't bring herself to look up. She was being ridiculous, deep down she knew that.
"Eyes to the front, soldier!" Nick nearly stood at attention at the sound of steel in Kaidan's voice. Softening his tone he continued: "Please tell me what you don't like."
Finally, she looked up and started speaking, aware that Kaidan still held her shoulders in a firm grip.
"My tits are too big, my stomach not as flat as it used to be and don't even get me started on my thighs, hips and ass."
"That's it?" Kaidan pressed on.
"What do you mean _That's it_? Isn't that enough?" she tried turning to face him, her voice raising in annoyance, but he held her in position. "Kai, the twins will be four this year. It's time I shape up again."
"Eyes to the front." was his only comment. She pouted, but returned her gaze to the mirror.
After a short pause Kaidan went on. "Should I tell you what I see?"
Nick hesitated and then nodded her head tentatively.
"I see the probably best soldier the Alliance ever had, charismatic and compelling. I see a dedicated mother. Did you think two pregnancies would pass without changes to your body? Especially after carrying twins? Or do maybe regret having our children?" the thought suddenly reared in his mind.
"Kaidan Alenko! How can you... no, never! How could I regret our children?" she was genuinely shocked he could even consider such a thing.
"Good. I didn't think so. Maybe you should be more accepting to the changes that came along with them as well." he paused again.
"Most importantly, I see my beautiful, beautiful wife." he went on, his voice getting huskier with every word and he stepped a little bit closer. Seeing her in these lace panties and bra, her hair still damp from the shower, some spots she had missed drying off shimmering with moisture had an undeniable effect on him. She swallowed. As she continued looking into the mirror she saw his gaze sweep over her body. When his gaze locked with hers again in the mirror she saw his amber eyes were bright with desire. She licked her lips and shuddered as she felt his hot breath tickle her neck.
Kaidan hooked his thumbs under the straps of her bra and pulled them off of her shoulders ever so slowly. His hands now left her shoulders to push the bra down over her breast. Cupping each breast he rolled the nipples between his thumb and index finger. Nick couldn't suppress a low, needy moan while he closed the last remaining distance between them, pressing her flush against him. She could feel his erection digging against the small of her back. Grinning she wriggled her ass against his body and was rewarded with a quiet groan and a nip at the base of her neck.
His left hand remained on her breast, teasing a nipple with soft touches and playful nips, while his right hand started roaming slowly south. Nick closed her eyes and leaned her head back, exposing her neck. Right on cue Kaidan drew his tongue slowly from her shoulder along her neck to her ear. She reached her hands behind his head, dusting her fingers over the site of his implant. He hissed as he tugged at her earlobe with his teeth.
Resting his right hand on her hip he caught her lower lip between his teeth and pulled. After letting go of her lip he flicked his tongue at the corner of her mouth. Nick turned her head slightly and her tongue darted out to meet his. She arched her back, their kiss deepening.
Meanwhile his right hand was teasing her, wandering along the waistband of her panties, his fingertips dipping in just far enough to skim the upper edge of her pubic hair. She groaned into his mouth as they continued kissing and spread her legs further apart to grant him better access. He chuckled and pulled her panties away from her body only to let them snap back.
"Stop teasing." Nick groaned as the heat pooling in her nether regions steadily increased. He let out another deep, throaty chuckle but obliged by letting his hand dip further south. Kaidan pulled away from their deep kiss and started trailing kisses down her neck again. Feathery kisses alternating with licks and nips, his right hand playing with her pubic hair - it was driving her crazy. She wanted him so badly to dip his fingers in her core. She arched her back some more, rolling her hips upwards. She felt him grin against the crook of her neck and then, as he licked one long lick up to her ear, he finally dipped his fingers into her slick, wet folds. He always marveled how she could be so wet for him. She shuddered as he brushed over that oh-so sensitive spot. She wanted him to fuck her _now_.
She opened her eyes and looked into the mirror only to see Kaidan doing the same. She took in the sight: She was still wearing her bra, which, on the right side, was pushed down just far enough to expose her nipple. Her left breast was exposed almost fully. Kaidan's left hand was no longer cupping her breast but was now squeezing her left buttock. His right hand was settled between her legs, shoving down her panties. She felt his fingers running along her slit.
Suddenly he pulled his hand back and she couldn't avoid a groan of disappointment escaping her throat. Instead, he now put both hands on her hips again and slowly, slowly pushed her panties down over the curve of her ass. She immediately picked up on that and started shimmying her way out of them while her hands tugged at his boxer briefs. His hands shortly left her hips to help her with his boxers, and after stepping out of them he returned his hands to her hips. Nick leaned forward now, bracing herself against the mirror with one hand, grinding her ass against his erection. Kaidan bent over to start trailing hot kisses down her spine and then slowly went down on his knees. She nearly trembled in anticipation, knowing what would come next. He continued trailing kisses down her body, down her rear, down the inside of one leg, up the inside of the other leg. Sometimes kissing, sometimes licking short teasing licks. His right hand had again found its way between her thighs and finally, _finally_ he thrust first one finger and then another into her wet core, his thumb rubbing in circles over her sensitive spot. She felt like she was going to explode, jolts of lightning starting to erupt from her core. Kaidan wasn't done yet, though. Pulling his fingers out he licked her wet folds and then thrust his tongue deep into her. After letting his tongue roam her core he flicked it over her now hypersensitive nub. He swiftly drove two fingers into her, adding them to the ministrations of his tongue, curling against that certain spot. Grinning he let his biotics ripple down his arm to his fingertips. This was her undoing. Her orgasm tore through her body. She her legs shaking but all she wanted was to feel his length in her.
"Kaidan, fuck me, please!" she whimpered. And as she was still riding out the waves of her first orgasm she felt the tip of his erection at her entrance. Then, in one swift movement, he hilted himself fully in her and she cried out again. He took up a slow pace, pushing deep in her. He dug one hand into her hair, pulling her head back in order to kiss her. The index finger of his other hand rubbed her clit in small circles. She could taste herself on his tongue. Once he released her hair she bent down even lower granting him a better angle. To her dismay he didn't pick up a faster pace. Instead, he withdrew completely. Before she could complain however he turned her around and in a swift movement picked her up. She wrapped her legs around him as he carried her back to bed. After laying her down he continued his pleasuring her with his mouth and his fingers. Two fingers pumping in her core, his thumb rubbing her nub, he kissed her hard. Then his mouth wandered to her left ear, pulling it's lobe between his teeth, running his tongue down her neck again, down to her breast. His tongue whirled around one nipple before sucking hard , then the other side received the same treatment. And he continued his journey south. His tongue teased her nub again, darting over it. He pulled out his fingers. She took the hand he had used to pleasure her with and stuck those two digits in her mouth, swirling her tongue around them. Kaidan replaced the hand that had left her sex with his mouth and sucked hard.
"Oh fuck, yes..."all she could do was moan as he pushed her over the edge again with his tongue. Her hips bucked. Grabbing a fistful of his hair she dragged his face up to hers. His mouth glistening with her juice. "It's my turn now." she growled and rolled him on his back. Kaidan grinned as she straddled him. Blue eyes shining almost feverishly, mouth agape, she looked at him, running her hands over his chest. Then, with a sultry grin she kissed him slowly, tongues dancing lazily, as her hand inched down his chest, trailing the dark line of hair ever downwards. Her fingers grazed the tip of his cock just _so_. Her hand continued until it reached his balls and squeezed lightly. She broke her kiss, running her tongue along his jawline to his ear. Pulling the lobe between her teeth she stroked the length of his cock firmly with her hand. He closed his eyes and let out a very controlled breath. His hands were again rested on her hips but now he slid them back to cup her ass tightly.
She began working her way down his body, her tongue drawing lazy circles, sometimes backtracking its path with long, languid licks while her hand continued to work his length. She licked over his nipples, then down to his solar plexus and back up to his throat, over his Adam's apple and chin to his mouth. The fingers of her free hand were dusting along the side of his neck. Her tongue flicked over the scar at the corner of his mouth. She grinned at him again and began peppering a trail of hot kisses down his chest and abdomen. She pressed a kiss to the tip of his cock and the ran the tip of her tongue from the tip to the base. A teasing lick over his balls and she ran her tongue back up his erection. She swirled it around his tip licking the beads of fluid gathering there. Then without warning she enveloped him with her hot mouth, her tongue still dancing around the head of his cock and sucked hard. One of his hands fisted into her hair and he groaned. She gazed up to find his gaze fixed on her as she kept on licking and sucking.
"Woman," he growled, "you look so damn hot when you suck my cock." Her answer was taking his erect member in her mouth as far as she could, bobbing up and down, grazing him with her teeth, trying not to break eye contact. She loved it when he talked like that and grinned around his erection. She could feel the heat gathering in her lower abdomen again. She released him from her mouth in order to run her tongue from the base of his cock to its head. With a quick, teasing lick over his glans she pulled away. He was beginning to lose control, his biotics flickering. She loved it when she made him lose control like that.
Suddenly she found herself on her back again. It had happened so quickly she strongly suspected he had used his biotics to flip them over. Nick licked her lips and purred: "Getting a little impatient, Alenko?"
Kaidan sat back on his knees drinking in the sight of his wife, her thighs spread apart, waiting for him. The dark curls between her legs were dripping wet, so fucking wet. His cock twitched just from looking at her like this. His gazed flicked from her sex to her eyes when she growled at him.
"Alenko, if you don't finish what you started soon, I'm gonna have to do it myself!" she reached down and began stroking her clit. His eyes widened as he watched her. Her eyelids fluttered and she plunged two fingers into her core. "Enjoying the view? Think it's hot when I fuck myself with my fingers because I'm horny?"
Her other hand brushed over her tits and Kaidan felt he couldn't wait any longer. He pulled at hand she was pleasuring herself with and stuck the fingers in his mouth tasting her. Then he pinned both hands over her head and teased the entrance of her sex with the head of his erection, slowly sliding it through slick folds. They were both panting, the want of each other almost unbearable. He finally thrust into her, hilting himself deeply. He knew he wasn't going to last long anymore, not after that build-up, but that didn't mean he couldn't get her to orgasm again first. Thrusting into her deeply, steadily, he began to pick up speed. He hooked her knee over his shoulder fucking her deeper, harder. Her fingernails scratched over his back as he felt her inner walls spasm around him. He began reciting the stats of the newest Logic Arrest compared to the newest Nexus in his mind because he didn't want to come just yet. Just a little bit longer, just a _little bit_. He changed her position again, bringing her left leg across his chest, hooking her left knee over his left shoulder. Nick mewled and then cried out as he flared, both of them coming hard.
She unhooked her leg from his shoulder, wrapping it around his waist instead. She could feel his length throbbing within her and her inner muscles still clenching him. Both were breathing hard as they touched foreheads gently.
"I love you, Nickie. Have I made my point?" Kaidan whispered, amber eyes locked with blue ones.
She laughed quietly. "Oh, you sure did."
"So, no more of this _I'm fat_ nonsense?" he stroked his thumb softly across her cheek.
"No more." she acknowledged. She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment. "Do we have anything planned for today?"
"Apart from your party tonight? Hm, we could go to the shooting range because I know you love beating me at something." he smirked at her.
"Watch yourself, mister." she grabbed a pillow and swatted him with it.
"Or,"he went on, "we could stay in bed all day. At least until the others come by this evening."
"Mmhhmm."
"We have ice cream." he lowered his voice suggestively. "And grapes. And strawberries."
"I like your line of thought, Major."she purred.
"I aim to please, Admiral."
"Wait, what?"
"Oh, I might have heard yesterday that Hackett promoted you to admiral. His words I believe were _And tell her there's no turning it down this time! _I'm sure he will tell you himself when he calls later on." Kaidan smiled at her innocently.
She groaned and hid her face in her hands while her husband laughed quietly at her. "You bastard."
He took her hands away from her face and looked at her, his toffee-colored eyes shining with love and admiration.
"Happy birthday, Shep."
End file.
| fanfiction |
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries Gravel Road
**Disclaimer: **The SVM/Sookie Stackhouse series belongs to Charlaine Harris; I'm not profiting from this story except by having fun with playing with her characters.
**A/N:** This story is based on Sookie's mention in DUD that as a child, at her father's request, she listened in on one of his business negotiations. I changed the scenario as I started to imagine what Sookie's childhood might have been like. For inspiration, I listened a lot to Lucinda Williams's _Car Wheels on a Gravel Road_. And along the way, I got to thinking about _The Wizard of Oz, _too_. _
**Please note this story has a Sookie-Sam HEA.** If a Sookie-Eric pairing is the only type of holiday cheer you enjoy, see the big collection compiled at the Secret Santa site (linked on my profile page) organized by Random-Fandom.
And I hope you'll check out the Sookie-Eric Christmas story/HEA I wrote last year, _A Very Bubba Christmas. _
**Big thanks to nonto94** for beta-ing this story. Here's a Mr. Pibb for ya. Cheers! ;)
* * *
**Gravel Road**
I was six years-old when I went on a trip with my daddy one Saturday morning during Christmastime. We were still finding paper turkeys around the house, tucked in out-of-the-way places, as we hung garlands and Santa Clauses. But I'd gotten my Christmas dress early that year, and Mama said I should go ahead and wear it that day. Along with my fancy shoes.
They were my favorite shoes—white patent leather sandals with bows and my first set of real heels. Square ones that made me miles taller. And years more grown-up.
"Well, look at you," Mama had laughed when I'd first paraded in them, right before Easter. I'd put on one of her old gowns and a fabric scrap from Gran's curtain project, tied like a shawl, and lifted the hem of the skirt to show off the shoes.
"Good Lord, where have you been and what have you been doing?" she'd asked, rubbing at the smudges—bruises—on my knees and legs. "You keep these sandals clean, you hear?"
I'd tried my hardest, but they'd gotten scuffed somehow. Then she'd fussed, grabbing my foot as we'd been leaving for church to rub it clean with a towel as I'd hopped on the other foot. My daddy had tsked, patted her bum, told her not to worry, that she'd worked hard enough and should let it go. He always could distract her from whatever was on her mind—she'd laughed, dropped my foot, and turned to kiss him—but she hadn't forgotten about the scuffs completely.
"I suppose there's nothing to be done, since they still fit," she'd say from time to time as she'd glance at my shoes with a frown.
But when I appeared in them with my red tights and red Christmas dress, ready to go out with Daddy, a new thought flickered through her mind: _candy cane. _
_A candy cane! _
I was pleased as punch. Mama probably hadn't wanted to say it out loud because she was still irritated about the scuffs, so I hadn't gloated—_See? Isn't it a good thing these shoes still fit at Christmastime?_—and kept real quiet about the bows I picked for my pigtails. One red and one white. As it turned out, she was too busy smooching Daddy to notice when we said goodbye.
**... c . c ...**
We drove to Gran's house first.
"Adele?" my daddy called as he, Jason, and I walked straight through her unlocked front door. She'd already decorated it with the bleach-bottle-and-yarn Santa she'd bought at the church bazaar.
Jason, the last one in our line, let the banger door clap shut before running ahead. "Gran!" he yelled, his floppy bedhead bouncing.
I stayed behind to walk alongside Daddy, paying special attention to the tap of my heels on Gran's floor. Jason reached the kitchen and then looped back to us, still in the hallway. "Bacon!" he yelled. "There's bacon and pancakes shaped like letters!"
"Corbett," Gran said, following right behind. "Do you and Sookie want something before you leave? I made enough."
Gran looked funny, with wispy hair escaping from the coil at the back of her neck. And she was still wearing her bedroom slippers, though she'd put on a house dress for the day. She was wiping her hands on her tea towel, which was against the rules in her house. Tea towels were for dishes. Hand towels were for hands.
"Sookie," she said, "look at how pretty you are in your Christmas dress. Do a twirl for me?"
I turned, making sure my dress flared, and my hands were out, the way contestants do in beauty pageants. "I'm a candy cane."
She laughed. "So you are. With bows to match, even. One red and one white." She reached for my hand, changed her mind—she was worried about something—and scooted me along with her towel. "Go on and git," she said. "See what I have in the kitchen."
"Mom," my daddy said, impatient. "We can't stay. We have a drive ahead of us."
"Oh, just for a minute. See what I have."
They followed right behind, entering the kitchen with me as Jason was turning on Gran's transistor radio. Loretta Lynn crackled, "You ain't woman enough to take my man."
"Where's Michelle today?" Gran asked, motioning to Jason to turn it down.
"Oh, she's at home, getting prettied up to go out on a shopping trip. I told her to go take the day."
"Mmm. That sounds nice. Holiday sidewalk sale's going on in Clarice."
"No," my daddy said, his hands running up and down his trim belly. "I don't reckon that's where she was heading. Wanted something special for the Women's Club Christmas party." He was looking with interest at the plate of bacon, leaning over it. Something was holding him back. _Too much bacon causes The Gout._
"Mr. Fortenberry got The Gout because he was eating at least a pound of bacon a week," I told him.
"What?" he said, annoyed.
I started to explain all about Mr. Fortenberry's diet when I realized my daddy was looking at me like I'd sprouted reindeer antlers. Which meant that I'd messed up again, answering thoughts instead of words.
_I'm sorry, _I wanted to say, though I'd found out the hard way that apologizing for _that_ kind of mistake makes things worse. Meanwhile, Gran's thoughts had lurched, and I wanted to remind her that I knew about Mr. Fortenberry's diet because Mrs. Fortenberry had been talking about his Great Toe last week when I'd visited Gran. _Didn't she remember?_ Heck, the news was all over town. At the same time, Jason was eyeing the orange juice—in Gran's old gold Tupperware pitcher that had lost its lid, no long-handled spoon in sight—and thinking about pouring himself a drink.
Best I could say for myself was that I sorely wanted everything to go right that morning. And that it was never easy keeping so many things straight at once.
Too late, I realized Jason was already pouring.
"Stop, you dummy!" I shouted, jumping toward him.
Jason startled and spilled everything, the mushy wad of orange juice concentrate at the bottom of the pitcher plopping into his cup and all over the counter. For a moment, shocked and embarrassed, he stood there looking at his big mess.
Then he barreled toward me.
"You made me do it!" He tripped on Gran's phone stool and took us both down; we were all arms and legs, useless and messy, like ratty socks tangled in the dryer.
"Hey, hey, hey!" my daddy yelled. "That's enough, you two!"
He broke us up and held us apart. "What in the world? Sookie, explain yourself!" He was angry that he'd been saddled with so much trouble—a weird daughter who seemed to be _sigh-kick _too.
_What's sigh-kick? _I almost asked, but stopped myself in the nick of time. He was already thinking about changing his mind about taking me along today.
But mostly, I felt awful about what I'd done; I'd only wanted to stop the spill, since it seemed like everything had to be right this morning. Special pancake letters and all.
"I'm sorry," I said. I'd have to try harder next time, put a real effort into keeping everything straight in my head. "I won't do it again. I know I have to do an extra good job today."
He waved me off, didn't meet my eyes. "Tell your brother," he said gruffly.
"I'm sorry I called you a dummy," I said to Jason. I only meant it partly. He should have seen that Gran hadn't mixed the orange juice yet. _She always uses the long wooden spoon_.
He was still mad, grumbling inside his head. Our fights were frustrating scrambles, often about unfairness. We'd take it out on each other whenever we could.
"Jason, that's not how you treat a girl," Daddy told him.
Gran stood there, doing her best not to stick her nose in her son's family business where it didn't belong. She stopped herself from thinking anything else, wiping her hands again on her tea towel. She was so distracted, I guessed that's why she jerked with surprise when my daddy asked her if she could help get me "fixed up."
It was worse than I'd realized. Gran was able to re-braid my hair and retie the bow on my dress, but there was nothing to be done for the gaping hole in the knee of my red tights. I shucked them, saddened I'd lost the candy cane effect.
I knew that I shouldn't complain about it out loud. "Thank you, ma'am," I said.
She nodded and studied me. "Now, let's see…seems to me you're missing something." Her eyes were smiling, she was taking my problem to heart. "You've got your white shoes and your red dress and matching bows in your hair." She reached to straighten one of them.
I gave my hips a little turn so my skirt would swish.
"Ah!" she said, as though I'd reminded her of something important. "Do a twirl to make sure it still works."
"Gran!" I protested, knowing she was trying to make me smile. But I did the twirl anyway, with my hands in the right pose and a bounce in my step.
"That's the spirit!" She turned to rummage through her jewelry box and came out with one of her treasures: a sparkly candy cane pin. "There!" she said as she pinned it to my dress. "Just what you needed." She topped it off with a quick hug when I thanked her and promised I'd take good care of it. I felt special and put back together again.
When we returned to the kitchen, my daddy had a big, nervous smile on his face. "There's my girl," he said, reaching his arms out to dance with me, giving me a single twirl. On the radio, Loretta was singing again, assuring us we'd have "a good old country Christmas, alright."
Jason sat at the table, eating his pancake shaped like the letter "J," with lots of syrup on it. I heard from his thoughts that he'd torn my letter "S" in half. _Into two Cs for…for…craphead,_ he was sniggering to himself and any telepath who happened to be in the room. _Craphead, craphead, craphead. _
_J is for Jerk,_ I wanted to yell at him. But I had my new pin. And I had to be mindful of Gran, who was fumbling with her plateful of dangling letters, wondering what in the world had ever possessed her to make such ridiculous pancakes and thanking goodness they were at least edible. When Daddy said, "C'mon, we're gonna go for a ride," she told me to take mine with me, though she was sorry it seemed to have torn in two.
"That's all right. Now I have two Cs for _candy cane."_
Jason heard me. Gran, though, had her head somewhere else.
**... c . c ...**_**
**_
We didn't get very far down Parish Road 34 before my pancake was gone and Daddy's nervousness broke through the rumble of gravel beneath us. "You know what I want you to do today, don't you, Sookie?"
I fiddled with my seat belt, pulled it out, and let it snap back. And then did it again. _Different _and _odd, _and _special _and _weird _were all words about _me_ that had crossed my daddy's mind often. Most times, I embarrassed him, but today, he _wanted_ me to go with him.
"Sookie, are you paying attention? It's important that you mind yourself today, you hear? Nothing like what happened earlier."
"Yes," I said, the seat belt snapping.
"Yes, what?"
"Yes, sir."
He huffed a breath, frustrated with me, annoyed that the road we were traveling on was kicking up stones that could damage the belly of his car. "Let go of that seat belt. Yes, you understand what?"
Talking about _it, _how I knew things about people that others didn't, was a big no-no.
I released the seat belt, noticed a Dum-Dum stick Jason had dropped on _my _side_. _Bits of blue still coated it, as though he'd crunched it.
"Earth to Sookie," my daddy prodded.
He wanted me to _listen_. _Listening_ was a big picture, with lots of parts, like Gran's _Wizard of Oz_ album, with the spoken words to the story, a few pictures, and music, too. Except that listening to people was a lot harder, because sometimes you only got the music or one or two pictures. And sometimes it was mixed up, out of order. And always there were other albums playing at the same time.
"I'll listen," I finally said, because that's what he wanted me to say.
"That's right, listen." He nodded—_easy-peasy_—shifted in his seat, pulled the thick wad of his wallet, full of business cards, out from his back pocket and tossed it on the dashboard. _Eavesdrop, _he thought.
I hated that word. When I'd first heard it, it sounded like the funniest word in the world, like it wasn't even real; somebody had made it up. But then I realized that people were using that word about me, in a mean way, when really, I couldn't help what I was doing. It just happened.
"Okay," I told my Daddy, to keep things simple. There was nothing different about today except that I was _supposed _to do it and tell him what I learned. The hardest part would be sifting through scads of thoughts and picking out the important ones.
I got tired and antsy just thinking about it.
We were on a long strip of road, crossing flat, boring farmlands that all looked the same, except for one rickety shack with a big, drooly dog in the front yard. Not a _Toto, _but just as loveable_. _If he was my pet, I'd name him Charlie…or Betsy if she was a girl. Something that would fit a person, too. I stuck my arm out, traced the _swoop-swoop-swoop_ of the telephone wires hanging from their poles.
Daddy hadn't dropped it yet. "You know, because this time it's okay. It's for the family. So we can all…have a better life. We do all right, of course. But it would be nice to get a leg up."
He was all bound up with something big. _The American Dream,_ he thought, _right there within our reach. _He turned his attention from the road and winked at me. Hope and pride billowed inside him like a flag on the Fourth of July.
I remembered Mrs. Fortenberry, draped in green bed sheets as Lady Liberty, and Mayor Norris, with his tall top hat as Uncle Sam overseeing the annual Bon Temps celebrations, awarding the Pan-a-Rama Movie Theater first prize for their float_,_ made out of recycled cans, milk jugs and cereal boxes.
"The Land of Opportunity," I said.
Daddy's brow furrowed. "What's that, hon?"
"The name of the first-place float winner at the parade last summer. You know, the model of the United States? Mrs. Fortenberry called it a fine example of what could be done with hard work and determination and engine-uity._"_
He didn't remember, but he liked the idea, especially if it would help me do a better job. "Right! Just like that float. And maybe if things go well today, we'll get a flag in our front yard, like Gran's next-door neighbor. With a tall pole, circled by fancy white rocks. "
"Okay," I said, touching my candy cane pin. "I can do it." And daddy started whistling _You're a Grand Old Flag_ and looking forward to stocking his pond with striped bass.
**... c . c ...**
We met the man at a diner, spotted him right away in his baseball-style wool jacket, the name and logo of his business stitched in gold across his back. When my daddy approached him, he slid off his stool at the counter and greeted him with a hearty handshake. "Corbett! Nice to see you! Thank you for making the drive here so early on a Saturday morning."
"No problem. No problem at all."
"Well, no, I mean it. I know weekends are for family time, and family's important." He cast a smile at me. "And what about you? Are you helping today?"
"This here's my daughter Sookie," my daddy said. "I hope you don't mind…"
He held his hand up to stop him. "I understand. No need, Corbett."
Turning to me, he was surprised to see I'd already extended my hand to him.
"Pleased to meet you," I said.
He nodded at my daddy. "You're doing a fine job, I see. And Sookie, you look like you are ready for Christmas, dressed just like a candy cane. Are you going to see Santy Claus today?"
"No, sir. Just coming to see you,"
My daddy was embarrassed, worried that we were looking too eager. It was one of those times I should have lied. Plus the businessman was irritated at himself for having guessed wrong; he prided himself in paying special attention to details. His brain clicked and rattled like Mama's calculator with the white rolled paper, very different from the smooth and gracious way he spoke.
The man's name was Frankie Morgan, and he always went by _Frankie, _not _Frank, _which he thought made him sound more friendly. Also, when he'd been a kid, he'd gone by another last name, which I couldn't catch. I guessed it was something that the other kids had made fun of. He waved at the waitress behind the counter to tell her he was moving, leaving a few coins and taking his cup of coffee. "Let's go find us a booth where we can talk and have some shrimp and grits. How's that sound?"
"Sounds good," my daddy said, agreeable at the moment to just about anything.
"Three coffees, too?" He winked at me as he snagged another waitress.
"No!" I protested, understanding I needed to play into his joke.
"Excuse me!" he said with great drama, his hands clutched to his chest. "All right, then, if not coffee, Miss Sookie here will have…"
"Chocolate milk, please," I said to the waitress. She had frosted hair, dark circles under her eyes—she'd been at the diner all night, and now was filling in for someone else—and sorely wanted a cigarette. She was trying to remember if she'd met _Mr. Hilarity_ somewhere else. Jeez, she hoped she hadn't slept with him that night at Patty's house when she'd drunk too much wine.
I was torn. I knew enough that I wasn't supposed to be hearing stuff like that, but what if today I needed to? At the same time, my daddy nudged me, annoyed that I wasn't paying any attention. And that made me mad, because I really _was _working hard. It was confusing, too, trying to figure out _who_ to listen to, like being at a three-ring circus.
They started off talking about football. Boring stuff that Mr. Morgan considered an _icebreaker_. He was a Dallas Cowboy fan, which he didn't say out loud once he learned that my daddy rooted for the Saints. I was glad I had my chocolate milk, which came in a tall glass with a long spoon. Whoever made it hadn't stirred it well, which meant there was plenty of chocolate in the bottom for scooping.
Meanwhile, the boy behind Mr. Morgan hoped I'd notice his car collection, which he ran across the back of Mr. Morgan's seat: first a black sedan, then a red race car, a truck, and another sedan. They all crashed except for the race car, which eventually went zooming off. And then another pickup truck appeared. He'd had it longer than any of the others, but its wheels were still on straight so it ran real good, plus it had a hitch in the back. It was his favorite. He kept them all at home in a special carrying case with plastic dividers. Jason had one just like it, but he'd taken out the slots, so all of his cars were a jumbled mess.
I ate too much of my shrimp and grits, which made me grumpy with a tummy ache. Pinned in the booth, I felt like I needed to move. The woman behind me had loud thoughts as she fretted over her list for the day. Now and then, my daddy nudged me, concerned I wasn't paying attention. _Stop doing that! _I wanted to shout at him, because Mr. Morgan was noticing. And then I stewed over the fact that he could have gotten my attention just by thinking my name. He didn't even consider it, which I thought was dumb.
They'd been looking at a map. Mr. Morgan sold car parts. I didn't know what kind, but I'd guessed they were special given how much he was going on and on about them.
"Listen," he said, "I don't mind telling you business is good. Real good. So good, I can't get to this whole part of Bossier Parish." It was yellow. "And, I gotta be honest with you, it'd mean a lot of driving to cover all of this area. But I know for a fact the business is there. This fellow, Jarrod Falcon, was calling me the other day wondering when I was going to stop by. I just haven't had time to develop it. Shreveport takes up most of my attention."
From what I gathered, he wanted my daddy to buy the yellow part of the map, for a lot of money, which didn't make any sense to me. Why would you have to pay that much money to buy a map to sell car parts? He was showing it to him anyway, so what did he need a map for?
They talked a lot about the yellow map. My milk got warm and yucky without the rest of the chocolate syrup mixed in. The diner filled with busy people starting their holiday rush, which meant my head crowded with their thoughts. Our waitress, Junie, had had a smoke break and remembered where she'd seen Mr. Morgan before, not even a week earlier, which went to show how tired she was. Meanwhile, my daddy and Mr. Morgan were growing more excited as it began to look like they were closing in on a deal with each other.
Eventually, I stopped trying to listen—it was all a loud mess—and folded my place mat into first a hat, and then a sailboat. Then I made another sailboat out of my daddy's place mat, which made him annoyed: _dammit_, w_hy can't she pay attention?_
Mr. Morgan tried to kid with me some more, asking me if I'd been naughty or nice. And would Santa put coal in my stocking. I was so cranky and tired, I wanted to tell him I knew it was all a big lie.
But that would have been rude. I must have done something wrong anyway, because my daddy apologized to Mr. Morgan, saying "he'd have a chat with me about it on the car ride home."
"No problem, Corbett. It's all part of the job, right? Next time, I hope to meet Jason, too."
And then _finally _we said our goodbyes in the parking lot. Once Mr. Morgan had driven away, my daddy lifted me onto the hood of his car.
"It's not good," I said.
"What?" I felt his excitement collapse, and that made me sad. "What's the matter?"
"Don't buy his map, Daddy."
"What?" he repeated, stunned.
"That's too much money to pay for a map."
His disappointment wiped clean in an instant, erased by fresh excitement. He was trying hard not to smile. "Oh, no, hon. It don't work like that. I'm not buying his _map_." His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out how to explain it to me. The word _franch-eyes _crossed his mind.
I was too tired to listen to him and decided to lay it all out. The parts that I knew, anyway. "He's really a Dallas Cowboys fan, and he was here just last week trying to sell his map to another guy. Junie, our waitress, saw them."
Impatient, he interrupted me. "Sookie, it's not _just a map._"
"Okay, but business is bad," I said.
"Bad?" His disappointment flared again, but still, he didn't believe me all the way. "How do you know business is bad?"
"I…eavesdropped." I didn't like using that word because I didn't want it pinned on me. Except that today, I really was eavesdropping.
"No…" he was getting more and more frustrated. "What exactly did you…_hear _that told you that business is bad?_"_ He didn't like admitting what I had done, either. He was looking all shifty-eyed.
"He was giving you The Falcon."
After a moment, he figured out I must be talking about Jarrod Falcon_. _"What about…_The Falcon?"_
"The Falcon is a good customer, but the rest of the region is a _piss-poor bunch of losers who don't know quality auto parts when they see them_. And he thought I had funny-looking, squinty eyes."
That did it.
I guessed I shouldn't have said that last part, especially since my daddy had gotten his own bad news. I shouldn't have made it any worse. He looked down, like he could use a big hug. I stood on the bumper of his car, squirmed against him as I burrowed my head on his shoulder, and kissed his neck.
He stiffened, angry. _That ain't right, _he thought. "Let's go," he said shortly.
**... c . c ...**
We drove home, my daddy pretending once again my…_specialness _didn't exist. He was a stewing pot of grumbling self-pity for a while before he started to count his blessings: How many other guys did he know who had their own pond for fishing? A beautiful, adoring wife. And Jason, if he could just get him to mind his teachers at school, might be able to get a football scholarship. He was, by far, the best player in the Pop Warner league. And then he went on and on about the coaching strategy, practice schedules, and more.
I guessed there'd be no flagpole going up in our front yard any time soon. I lay down on the back seat and unbuckled my belt to get comfortable and take a nap. We must not have stopped long at Gran's to pick up Jason, because next thing I knew, he was in the car too, excited about having spent the morning playing with his army guys outside, digging trenches and setting up battles.
At home, I decided to wait for Mama before I changed out of my fancy clothes, so I could show her Gran's candy cane pin. I wandered around, restless, feeling emptied out of all the excitement of getting out to do something new with my daddy. And disappointed, too, that so much hope had been squashed. And worst of all, guilty because I'd been doing something I shouldn't have.
I tried to play. I jumped rope. I used Silly Putty to stretch and twist Marmaduke and Beetle Bailey and Garfield. I paged through old Highlights magazines, searching for picture puzzles I hadn't done yet.
When Mama finally got home, rippling with excitement, I heard her whispering with my daddy in the kitchen for a while. And then she was in her bedroom, determined she was gonna turn the mood around in this house. She came out looking all glamorous and pink-cheeked in her new red Christmas gown.
"Hotsy-totsy!" Jason said, before running off to play with his Rock'em Sock'em Robots, which he never let me play, even though the game was for two people.
Hank Williams was on the stereo singing _Hey Good Lookin_.' To the amusement of my daddy, Mama extended her hand to him, and then suddenly they were all wrapped up, their arms circling each other like a stack of bangle bracelets. Swaying and laughing and smooching. I got the feeling right quick I was watching something I shouldn't, but at the same time, I couldn't look away.
I kicked my fancy shoes off my sticky feet—maybe they _were_ getting too tight—and slipped on my stuffed Snoopy slippers. _Ridiculous monster-osities, _my mama had called them. Jason had laughed at his smooshed nose. And Daddy had worried they were so big, they'd trip me, which had happened only once or twice. But after a day of getting dented and dinged, I felt extra good and cozy in them, no matter what anybody else said.
I squinted at the Christmas tree lights, a trick that turned them into stars. I reached for the pin on my dress, felt the hope swell in my belly. Not the flag-waving kind of hope, but a lot like fireworks anyhow. Or at least warm and fizzy. Maybe next week, Mama would let me help decorate Christmas cookies with frosting and sprinkles. Maybe I'd get to play a part besides a shepherd or a sheep in the church pageant this year. Maybe I'd get a Creepy Crawler Bugmaker from "Santa." I'd heard my mama thinking about an Easy-Bake Oven, which would be all right too. It was hard to keep Christmas secrets from me, though often, no one even tried.
I squint again as Lucinda Williams comes on, singing a resurrected Hank Williams song, her voice so tender—thanking God for love so true—it nearly crumbles. She probably had a long and bumpy ride too, and like her, I'm happy to have finally found the person sitting next to me. This morning he's antsy, though, bouncing his leg and tapping a rhythm with his thumbs that's much too fast for the song.
"Sookie," he prods, bringing me fully out of my past. "Dance with me?" He holds out his hand.
I stand in my fuzzy bathrobe and slippers to face him; he's looking all sweet and rough and wild from his Christmas Eve ramble on my property. When he pulls me into his arms, he starts with a simple sway, only barely holding back the urge to break into a Texas two-step. It's nearly killing him.
"Oh, go ahead." I laugh, breaking out of his embrace after only a few shuffles.
"Really?" He grins. "Now?"
I nod, just as much in danger of bursting as he is. Something is pressing him: he wants very badly to give me one of the presents under the tree. I know it because his intent has been so clear, though he's managed to hide the exact contents from me. I love him for caring so much.
"Merry Christmas, Sookie," he says as he hands me a small box. He's vibrating with so much excitement, I'm surprised it hasn't gone flying out of his grasp like a tiddlywink.
I pry open the lid…and immediately start crying.
"Aw, cher," he says, starting to pace. "You didn't think…"
"No." I stop him and swallow back more tears. "It's beautiful. Of course I wasn't expecting a ring." We both agreed to take things slowly so we'd be sure. But this gift…this gift chokes me up in a different way.
How did he know? Or was it big a coincidence?
He notices the hesitation. "You told me one time you'd lost one like it. Right? It seemed special to you, I thought."
"That's right." Vaguely, I remember mentioning it to him one time, years ago and so much in passing, I don't know how he ever remembered. "It's one of the most thoughtful presents ever," I say.
He grins, happiness and relief releasing in such sincere waves, I feel lucky to be a telepath. "It has a safety clasp," he says. "I made sure of that."
The collar of my robe is the perfect place for it. I admire it again—the sweetest sparkling candy cane pin—before fixing it in place. The journey to this moment has been a long one, reason neither to wallow in sadness, nor to pretend the hard parts never happened. One day soon, I'll tell him the whole story of that morning out with my father, but for now, there are more important things to say.
I run my finger across the rough surface. "It reminds me what an old friend you are, of how much we've shared over the years without even knowing it, while we were busy looking somewhere else."
He pulls me close to him, his fingers tickling at my waist.
I laugh. "And how much you snuck up on me."
He wraps me in his flannel-clad arms, surrounding me with that scent that is only Sam: wood stove and damp, cold air; laundry detergent, and something musky that vibrates up and down my spine. He starts to kiss me when Bubba from a bygone era interrupts us on the radio, singing "Merry Christmas, Baby."
The timing is so perfect, we have to do a few ridiculous spins and dips right there in front of the tree. But Bubba could seriously do the blues, grinding and rocking, drawing us into his rhythm. Sam, for his part, shows off a few new dance moves he learned, as well as a few he's…improvising. He's busy working a miracle at my neck as something closer to a growl than any word comes out of his mouth.
I twine my fingers in his wiry red-gold hair, recalling the time he stood next to me as a lion, helping to take down the wolves. And barged into Hooligans with me to demand answers from the fairies. And shared his bar with me in gratitude for my help. And countless other gestures. He would never intimidate me into doing something for him.
Hope blooms wildly.
Straightaway, I feel like I'm at home more than ever before, here in front of the Christmas tree in my family's farmhouse. Later today, after we open more presents, I'll bake a sweet potato casserole, and then we'll join Jason and Michele for Christmas dinner. Tomorrow, Sam and I'll go back to the bar and start gearing up for New Year's Eve; among a list of other things, there are a few drink specials I've been meaning to talk about with him.
It all feels right. Well, I'll have to think more about it later when I'm not so distracted, but I guess I have one or two things in common with Dorothy, returned to Kansas after being chased by an army of winged monkeys and a wicked witch. Though things definitely changed around here—for me and the community—and I'm lucky that some of Oz came to Bon Temps to stay. I only have to look out my front door at my rosebush mailbox to remind myself. Boring and staid? Never again.
And then there is Sam, feeling the joy too, as fleece and flannel pool at our feet. This gentle, loving man is less than a moment from sabre tooth tiger. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers.
"I love you, Sam."
His wandering kisses and hands—warm, covering goose bumps on bare flesh—answer me enough. We forget about everything but us for a while, as Bubba rocks on.
** ~ Thanks for reading!~
**
End file.
| fanfiction |
Râmnicelu may refer to several places in Romania:
Râmnicelu, a commune in Brăila County
Râmnicelu, a commune in Buzău County | wikipedia |
Spasticity is a feature of altered skeletal muscle performance with a combination of paralysis, increased tendon reflex activity, and hypertonia. It is also colloquially referred to as an unusual tightness, stiffness, or pull of muscles.
Clinically, spasticity results from the loss of inhibition of motor neurons, causing excessive velocity-dependent muscle contraction. This ultimately leads to hyperreflexia, an exaggerated deep tendon reflex. Spasticity is often treated with the drug baclofen, which acts as an agonist at GABA receptors, which are inhibitory.
Spastic cerebral palsy is the most common form of cerebral palsy, which is a group of permanent movement problems that do not get worse over time. GABA's inhibitory actions contribute to baclofen's efficacy as an anti-spasticity agent.
Cause
Spasticity mostly occurs in disorders of the central nervous system CNS affecting the upper motor neurons in the form of a lesion, such as spastic diplegia, or upper motor neuron syndrome, and can also be present in various types of multiple sclerosis, where it occurs as a symptom of the progressively-worsening attacks on myelin sheaths and is thus unrelated to the types of spasticity present in neuromuscular cerebral palsy rooted spasticity disorders.
The cause of spasticity is thought to be where an imbalance occurs in the excitatory and inhibitory input to α motor neurons caused by damage to the spinal cord and/or central nervous system. The damage causes a change in the balance of signals between the nervous system and the muscles, leading to increased excitability in muscles. This is common in people who have celebral palsy, brain injuries or a spinal cord injury, but it can happen to anybody e.g. having a stroke.
One factor that is thought to be related to spasticity is the stretch reflex. This reflex is important in coordinating normal movements in which muscles are contracted and relaxed and in keeping the muscle from stretching too far. Although the end result of spasticity is problems with the muscles, spasticity is actually caused by an injury to a part of the central nervous system the brain or spinal cord that controls voluntary movements. The damage causes a change in the balance of signals between the nervous system and the muscles. This imbalance leads to increased activity excitability in the muscles. Receptors in the muscles receive messages from the nervous system, which sense the amount of stretch in the muscle and sends that signal to the brain. The brain responds by sending a message back to reverse the stretch by contracting or shortening.
Overall, a defining feature of spasticity is that the increased resistance to passive stretch is velocity-dependent. Lance 1980 describes it this way: ...a motor disorder, characterised by a velocity-dependent increase in tonic stretch reflexes muscle tone with exaggerated tendon jerks, resulting from hyper-excitability of the stretch reflex as one component of the upper motor neurone UMN syndrome.
Spasticity is found in conditions where the brain and/or spinal cord are damaged or fail to develop normally; these include cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, spinal cord injury and acquired brain injury including stroke. Damage to the CNS as a result of stroke or spinal cord injury, alter the [net inhibition] of peripheral nerves in the affected region. This change in input to bodily structures tends to favor excitation and therefore increase nerve excitability. CNS damage also causes nerve cell membranes to rest in a more [depolarized] state. The combination of decreased inhibition and an increased depolarized state of cell membranes, decreases action potential threshold for nerve signal conduction, and thus increases activity of structures innervated by the affected nerves spasticity. Muscles affected in this way have many other potential features of altered performance in addition to spasticity, including muscle weakness; decreased movement control; clonus a series of involuntary rapid muscle contractions often symptomatic of muscle over-exertion and/or muscle fatigue; exaggerated deep tendon reflexes; and decreased endurance.
Spasticity and clonus
Clonus i.e. involuntary, rhythmic, muscular contractions and relaxations tends to co-exist with spasticity in many cases of stroke and spinal cord injury likely due to their common physiological origins. Some consider clonus as simply an extended outcome of spasticity. Although closely linked, clonus is not seen in all patients with spasticity. Clonus tends to not be present with spasticity in patients with significantly increased muscle tone, as the muscles are constantly active and therefore not engaging in the characteristic on/off cycle of clonus. Clonus results due to an increased motor neuron excitation decreased action potential threshold and is common in muscles with long conduction delays, such as the long reflex tracts found in distal muscle groups. Clonus is commonly seen in the ankle but may exist in other distal structures as well, such as the knee or spine.
Diagnosis
The clinical underpinnings of two of the most common spasticity conditions, spastic [[cerebral palsy] and multiple sclerosis, can be described as follows: in spastic diplegia, the upper motor neuron lesion arises often as a result of neonatal asphyxia, while in conditions like multiple sclerosis, spasticity is thought by some to be as a result of the autoimmune destruction of the myelin sheaths around nerve endingswhich in turn can mimic the gamma amino butyric acid deficiencies present in the damaged nerves of spastic cerebral palsy children, leading to roughly the same presentation of spasticity, but which clinically is fundamentally different from the latter.
Spasticity is assessed by feeling the resistance of the muscle to passive lengthening in its most relaxed state. A spastic muscle will have immediately noticeable, often quite forceful, increased resistance to passive stretch when moved with speed and/or while attempting to be stretched out, as compared to the non-spastic muscles in the same person's body if any exist. As there are many features of the upper motor neuron syndrome, there are likely to be multiple other changes in affected musculature and surrounding bones, such as progressive malalignments of bone structure around the spastic muscles leading for example to the scissor gait and tip-toeing gait due to ankle equinus or ankle planter flexion deformity in spastic cerebral palsy children. scissor gait is caused by spasticity of the hip adductor muscles while tip-toeing gait is caused by spasticity of the gastrocnemius-soleus muscle complex or calf musculature. Also, following an upper motor neuron lesion, there may be multiple muscles affected, to varying degrees, depending on the location and severity of the upper motor neuron damage. The result for the affected individual, is that they may have any degree of impairment, ranging from a mild to a severe movement disorder. A relatively mild movement disorder may contribute to a loss of dexterity in an arm, or difficulty with high level mobility such as running or walking on stairs. A severe movement disorder may result in marked loss of function with minimal or no volitional muscle activation. There are several scales used to measure spasticity, such as the King's hypertonicity scale, the Tardieu, and the modified Ashworth. Of these three, only the King's hypertonicity scale measures a range of muscle changes from the UMN lesion, including active muscle performance as well as passive response to stretch.
Assessment of a movement disorder featuring spasticity may involve several health professionals depending on the affected individual's situation, and the severity of their condition. This may include physical therapists, physicians including neurologists and rehabilitation physicians, orthotists and occupational therapists. Assessment is needed of the affected individual's goals, their function, and any symptoms that may be related to the movement disorder, such as pain. A thorough assessment will include analysis of posture, active movement, muscle strength, movement control and coordination, and endurance, as well as spasticity response of the muscle to stretch. Spastic muscles typically demonstrate a loss of selective movement, including a loss of eccentric control decreased ability to actively lengthen. While multiple muscles in a limb are usually affected in the upper motor neuron syndrome, there is usually an imbalance of activity, such that there is a stronger pull in one direction, such as into elbow flexion. Decreasing the degree of this imbalance is a common focus of muscle strengthening programs. Spastic movement disorders also typically feature a loss of stabilisation of an affected limb or the head from the trunk, so a thorough assessment requires this to be analysed as well.
Secondary effects are likely to impact on assessment of spastic muscles. If a muscle has impaired function following an upper motor neuron lesion, other changes such as increased muscle stiffness are likely to affect the feeling of resistance to passive stretch. Other secondary changes such as loss of muscle fibres following acquired muscle weakness are likely to compound the weakness arising from the upper motor neuron lesion. In severely affected spastic muscles, there may be marked secondary changes, such as muscle contracture, particularly if management has been delayed or absent.
Treatment
Treatment should be based on assessment by relevant health professionals. For spastic muscles with mild-to-moderate impairment, exercise should be the mainstay of management, and is likely needed to be prescribed by an occupational therapist, physical therapist, accredited exercise physiologist AEP or other health professional skilled in neurological rehabilitation.
Muscles with severe spasticity are likely to be more limited in their ability to exercise, and may require help to do this. In spastic cerebral palsy children the main treatment modality of spasticity is conservative in the form of botulinum toxin A injection and various physical therapy modalities such as serial casting, sustained stretching and medical pharmacologic treatment. Spasticity in cerebral palsy children is usually generalized although with varying degrees of severity across the affected extremities and trunk musculature. Neglected or inappropriately treated spasticity can eventually lead to joint contractures. Both spasticity and contractures can cause joint subluxations or dislocations and severe gait difficulties. In the event of contracture there is no role for conservative treatment. Hip dislocation and ankle equinus deformity are known to arise from muscle spasticity primarily. Orthopedic surgical reconstruction of the hip is commonly practiced to improve sitting balance, nursing care and relief hip pain.
Treatment should be done with firm and constant manual contact positioned over nonspastic areas to avoid stimulating the spastic muscles. Alternatively, rehabilitation robotics can be used to provide high volumes of passive or assisted movement, depending on the individual's requirements; this form of therapy can be useful if therapists are at a premium, and has been found effective at reducing spasticity in patients suffering from stroke. For muscles that lack any volitional control, such as after complete spinal cord injury, exercise may be assisted, and may require equipment, such as using a standing frame to sustain a standing position. A general treatment guideline can be followed that involves:
The initial focus on first activating contraction of antagonist muscles to provide reciprocal inhibition and lengthen spastic muscles
Reciprocal actions are attempted. Agonist contractions are performed first in small ranges progressing to larger arcs of movement
Highly stressful activities be minimized early in training
Functional skills are targeted for training
Patients and family/caregivers should be educated about the importance of maintaining range of motion and doing daily exercises
Medical interventions may include such medications as baclofen, diazepam, dantrolene, or clonazepam. Phenol injections can be used, or botulinum toxin injections into the muscle belly, to attempt to dampen the signals between nerve and muscle. The effectiveness of medications vary between individuals, and vary based on location of the upper motor neuron lesion in the brain or the spinal cord. Medications are commonly used for spastic movement disorders, but research has not shown functional benefit for some drugs. Some studies have shown that medications have been effective in decreasing spasticity, but that this has not been accompanied by functional benefits. Surgery could be required for a tendon release in the case of a severe muscle imbalance leading to contracture. In spastic CP, selective dorsal rhizotomy has also been used to decrease muscle overactivity.
Incorporating hydrotherapy in the treatment program may help decrease spasm severity, promote functional independence, improve motor recovery and decrease medication required for spasticity, which may help reduce the side effects that are possible with oral drug treatments. A 2004 study compared the effects of hydrotherapy on spasticity, oral baclofen dosage and Functional Independence Measure FIM scores of patients with a spinal cord injury SCI. It was found that subjects who received hydrotherapy treatment obtained increased FIM scores and a decreased intake of oral baclofen medication. A 2009 study looked at the effect of hydrotherapy to decrease spasticity on post-stroke, hemiparetic patients with limited mobility and concluded that there was a significantly larger increase in FIM scores compared to the control group that did not receive hydrotherapy.
Prognosis
The prognosis for those with spastic muscles depends on multiple factors, including the severity of the spasticity and the associated movement disorder, access to specialised and intensive management, and ability of the affected individual to maintain the management plan particularly an exercise program. Most people with a significant UMN lesion will have ongoing impairment, but most of these will be able to make progress. The most important factor to indicate ability to progress is seeing improvement, but improvement in many spastic movement disorders may not be seen until the affected individual receives help from a specialised team or health professional.
Research
Doublecortin positive cells, Similar to stem cells, are extremely adaptable and, when extracted from a brain, cultured and then re-injected in a lesioned area of the same brain, they can help repair and rebuild it. The treatment using them would take some time to be available for general public use, as it has to clear regulations and trials.
History
Historical progression of spasticity and the upper motor neuron lesion on which it is based has progressed considerably in recent decades. However, the term spasticity is still often used interchangeably with upper motor neuron syndrome in the clinical settings, and it is not unusual to see patients labeled as spastic who actually demonstrate not just spasticity alone, but also an array of upper motor neuron findings.
Research has clearly shown that exercise is beneficial for spastic muscles, even though in the very early days of research it was assumed that strength exercise would increase spasticity. Also, from at least the 1950s through at least the 1980s, there was a strong focus on other interventions for spastic muscles, particularly stretching and splinting, but the evidence does not support these as effective. While splinting is not considered effective for decreasing spasticity, a range of different orthotics are effectively used for preventing muscle contractures on patients with spasticity. In the case of spastic diplegia there is also a permanent neurosurgical treatment for spasticity, selective dorsal rhizotomy, that directly targets nerves in the spine that cause the spasticity, and destroys them, so that the spasticity cannot be activated at all.
See also
Brunnstrom Approach
Gamma-aminobutyric acid
Pronator drift
Rhizotomy
Stroke rehabilitation
Tizanidine
Transverse myelitis
References
External links
Lance JW: Symposium synopsis, in Feldman RG, Young RR, Koella WP eds: Spasticity: Disordered Motor Control. Chicago, Yearbook Medical Publishers, 1980
Other Complications of Spinal Cord Injury: Spasticity. Louis Calder Memorial Library of the University of Miami/Jackson Memorial Medical Center, October 3, 2002, http://calder.med.miami.edu/pointis/spasticity.html
This article contains text from the public domain document at http://www.ninds.nih.gov/health_and_medical/disorders/spasticity_doc.htm
Category:Cerebral palsy types | wikipedia |
1. Weddings
Chloe came in to the loft full head of steam. She gets that this is probably one of the worst days of Clark's life but that's no excuse to leave her locked up in Lex's wine cellar for an hour when she called. She looks around the loft for a couple minutes but Clark's not here. No, he is not hiding in the fortress like a child. Chloe pulls the book out and finds the octagonal key. No he's not in the fortress. Well where is he it's not like Clark Kent has this great social life out there. Maybe he's getting dressed in the house. Chloe enters the house and sees a Met U. course catalog for the fall. Clark is going back to school? Being the ever ready boyscout he got 2 books just to make sure. Must be why she has seen so little of him this week. She sees Shelby come down the stairs and goes to pet the dog.
"Shelby how's my favorite…" The dog runs right past the intrepid reporter and through the now open door she opened. "Blond" Chloe finished.
Chloe heard running water and realized Clark was in the shower. For an hour, maybe he really is the marathon shower man like Lois claims. Chloe goes up and opens the door barging in. "You have superhearing you can't pick up your phone."
"Chloe have you ever heard of knocking?" Clark asked from behind the curtain.
Chloe just smiled. "You got a full view a couple weeks ago turn about is fair play."
"All I got was bones." Clark replied. "So what do you want?"
"I called earlier where were you?" Chloe asked wanting to know where Clark was while she was suffering from early signs of frostbite.
Clark was trying to come up with something but nothing came out. Chloe was tapping her foot waiting for an answer. She looked at his shadow and realized something. Since when does Clark have 3 legs? "Clark…are you in a co ed situation."
At this the shower curtain opens from the other side and a petite blond sticks her head out. "He is."
Chloe is currently trying to get words to form sentences. Why is it always her? Why is she the one that sees Lana running out the farm half naked? Why does she have to see hypno hooker in a towel? Why did she have to see the beginning of the Lex and Lana experiment? And now why does she have to catch Clark Kent in the shower with another woman. "I'll be downstairs." Chloe bolted out of the door at top speed.
Clark just smiled. "I think you scared her away Buffy."
Buffy just laughed if only. "Demons are easy scaring away friends and family that's the challenge. Guess it's time to meet one of your friends."
Clark gets out and turns to her. "How long have we been in there?"
Buffy stared at Clark and was in thought. "We really need a clock between slayer stamina and infinite stamina we keep losing track of time."
Clark nodded in agreement not that he wasn't enjoying it. "I'll go buy you a couple minutes." In a blur Clark was fully dressed and heading downstairs.
* * *
><p>Once downstairs Chloe started feeling up Clark his neck his arms it was quickly becoming a search that Clark backed out of.<p>
"Chloe you are about to violate friends territory in a very big way."
"Just making sure you're not taking a walk down the ruby red road." Chloe defended herself.
Clark just pointed at his clothes. "When has Kal ever dressed in plaid?"
Chloe put her hands up point made. "Ok so if it's not red kryptonite and if it was silver K you'd be afraid that she would stab you with a kryptonite shank in the shower. Oh great you're hypnotized again."
Clark was in shock. "Or I met a girl I can trust and she trusts me!"
Chloe looked at Clark with concern. "I know you well enough to know when you're being manipulated considering you know her a week at best."
"I am not manipulating Clark." Buffy says coming down the stairs. "And we've known each other a little over a year and a half now."
Chloe rolls her eyes. "Not likely considering a year and a half ago Cl…What is your name?"
"Buffy Summers"
Chloe felt all the color fade off her face. "S-so you're the girl he and u-up in."
Buffy just nodded. "Yep that would be me."
"I think I need to sit down and maybe breathe a little." Chloe quipped sitting on the couch. At least she hopes she landed on the couch. Clark is the only guy she knows that can meet a girl in heaven find her on earth and convince her to move to Smallville.
Chloe finally got the ability to breathe back and asked. "So do you live in Smallville now?"
Buffy shook her head no. "This guy Giles he is like a father to me he set it up so I'd live in a penthouse in Metropolis."
"I didn't see your car outside?" Chloe wondered being the reporter.
"What's your name?" Buffy asked.
"Chloe Sullivan"
"Then you know how I got here Chloe." Buffy said.
Chloe smirked. "The Clark Kent express."
Chloe rolled her eyes and smiled. She wishes she could take Clark's head off considering she might have freezer burn on her legs but she looks in Clark's eyes and sees legitimate happiness in them when he's with Buffy which isn't surprising since Clark told her everything in heaven according to him and she accepted him. In fact she hasn't seen Clark this happy since his dad was still alive. Chloe looks down at the course catalogs. "So you're both going to Met U?"
Clark nodded. "In the fall assuming Jor El doesn't do anything."
Chloe looked at him. "And the farm?"
"I'm still planning to work the farm." Clark assures her. "Superspeed"
Chloe just nods. "So what are you both going to major in?"
"Appraising antiques I'm sure there's a fancier name for it." Buffy answered it seems interesting and it will give her a reason for the medieval arsenal at her penthouse.
Clark took a minute he wants to say it but as soon as he does Chloe owns him. "Journalism"
Chloe raised her arms in victory. "Yes I knew I got you hooked."
Clark just smiled. "Yes you got me hooked so what can I do for you today?"
Chloe just decides to let it drop with all the crap dropped on Clark recently he deserves a bit of happiness. "Nothing just checking in on you haven't seen you in a week. Hey how about the three of us go to the Talon."
Clark just looked at her. "Don't you have to be at ground zero for the festivities?"
Chloe just glared at Clark and shrugged. "I can blow that off for another hour." She really doesn't want to help Lana marry Lex. How are you supposed to be peppy for a wedding when the groom experimented on you?
Buffy turned to Clark. "Can you get me my coat? I kinda left it at the apartment." Since Clark produces extra heat she never wears coats all that much when she goes out with him. Not to mention it's a welcome change in bed. Buffy is used to freezing her butt off because vampires take her body heat. Clark however warmed her up.
Clark heads to her penthouse apartment and Buffy turns to Chloe. "Let's hear it."
Chloe just smiled. "Thank you"
Buffy was expecting to get yelled at not thanked this has been a bizarre day. "For what?"
"For the first time in a long time it feels like I have my friend back." Chloe explained. "He took his dad's death so hard this is the first sign that I've seen that he is actually moving past it."
Buffy just shrugs. "You're welcome."
Clark comes back with a jacket in hand for Buffy. He looks at the two they girl talked he just knows. "So what did I miss?"
Chloe just shrugs. "Nothing worth mentioning. Come on let's go to the Talon."
* * *
><p>At the Talon Clark gets the three coffee and sits down seeing Chloe give Buffy the third degree. Buffy just smiles at the questions Clark already told her what Chloe was like and besides its like Clark has his own Willow.<p>
Chloe was trying to wrap her head around what happened in Sunnydale. The official story was there was a sinkhole that swallowed the town. Clark, Giles, and Willow all had a collective laugh at this. That was the cover story the scoobies tried to use to get rid of Clark. Chloe sat there just smiling hearing everything Clark did to help.
Chloe rolled her eyes when her phone went off. "Yeah, Lana sorry I got kind of distracted." Buffy just smirks that's an understatement if she ever heard one. "Yeah I'm on my way back right now Lana just helping Clark out with something." Chloe hung up her phone and saw the look Clark gave her. "What?"
"Did you have to throw me under the bus?" Clark asked.
Chloe just shrugged her shoulders. "Get over it besides you have no idea how big a tongue lashing Buffy saved you from." Chloe can't believe this turn of events. She honestly believed Clark was still in love with Lana all this time. Seeing him with Buffy finally at peace she sees she was wrong. "Hey Buffy why don't you come to the wedding?"
Buffy almost spat out her coffee. "What?"
Clark wasn't amused either. "I already RSVP'd for just one Chloe." Clark did so before all this he was hoping that if they saw him at the wedding Lex would just stop all the irritating gloating. Now he was planning to blow it off much better way to spend the night.
Chloe knows that but being part of the bridal shower she also knows this. "Yeah but Lex being the scum of the planet wrote you down for two to make sure you had an empty space to drive the point home that he won."
Clark shrugged taking the current girlfriend to your ex's wedding. He wouldn't mind having a whole night with Buffy anyway he can get it but he's afraid it will be awkward for her. "It's not my choice."
Buffy looked to Clark and saw nothing but support from him he'll back whatever choice she makes. Buffy makes a choice. "Yeah I'll go."
Chloe smiled she'll have more people to talk to so she's glad for that. "Well there you have it." She turns to Clark. "Borrowing your truck I'll leave it at the farm."
Clark looked at Buffy. "Kind of amazed you agreed."
Buffy shrugged. "Gives me an opportunity to shop for shoes." It also lets her keep Clark busy tonight so he's not bored out of his skull for hours on end.
Clark had a smirk on his face. "No, I mean I'm surprised you accepted because it means my mother is going to want to meet you tonight."
Buffy gulped at that. "Oh my god, I didn't even think about that. What the hell am I going to say to her?"
"Hi I'm Buffy Summers." Clark deadpans. "Haven't you met parents before?"
"No!" Buffy answers honestly. "Riley's were in Iowa and Spike and Angel ate theirs. What if she hates me? What if she thinks I'm too short?"
Clark smiled at Buffy's rant. "Or she'll meet you, like you, and that will be it. Come on she's going with Lionel Luthor. If that's not seeing the best in everyone I don't know what is."
Buffy just cracked up at that. "Good point, let's go get ready for a wedding."
* * *
><p>Clark looked over at Buffy in her blue dress. He can't believe how beautiful she looks and how fast she was able to get ready. Clark starts looking for his mother knowing his seat is right next to hers. Even with Buffy here Clark was right this wedding was going to suck. It's not because Lana was getting married. What Clark had for Lana well Clark doesn't even know what he had with Lana. He knows it wasn't love it was just want and lies that led to the end. Maybe he just doesn't want Lana marrying that psychopath as a friend. But he already played the don't do it as a friend card and Lana ignored it. All he can do now is watch and hope she knows what she's doing. Clark noticed Martha with Nell and Lionel.<p>
Lana entered the chapel in a huff. She thought today would be the day she learned Clark's secret. She had the perfect trap set up and everything. Lock Chloe in the wine cellar and wait for Clark to do his hero thing so she can see what he really is. Lana looked in and saw a sight she would rather do without. Clark was already here so he must have known the wine cellar was a trap. Even worse he was here with someone. A pathetic tiny little blond that is talking with Chloe. Lana decides to go get ready for the wedding, part of her almost feels sorry for the blond girl with the lies Clark must be telling her.
Martha was surprised to see Clark here. Even more surprised that he came here with a date. She figured Clark would stay home today not having any particular interest in Lex Luthor's wedding. Clark hugs her bright side is he's not the only Kent stuck here. Martha breaks the hug she knows she and Jonathon did a good job raising Clark but she's still his mother and she's still curious about the girl he brought with him.
Clark sees the look and knows he can't put this off any longer. "Mom I'd like you to meet someone."
Buffy realized it was time and she's wondering why she is so nervous. She just got done beating the equivalent of Satan last week. With all the bringers smushed under Sunnydale it will be a while before the first pulls itself together. So why is she nervous about meeting one woman?
Martha looks at her and can easily tell that she is nervous. "Are you alright?"
Buffy nods realizing that she's just another person. "Yeah it's just this is new for me. I never did a meet the parents before."
Martha just smiles. "Well I'm Martha Kent and this is Lionel Luthor."
Buffy is at ease and introduces herself. "Buffy Summers"
Martha instantly had a look of concern. "Were you in Tri Psi?" Even though he's fully grown she still worries about Clark.
Buffy shakes her head no. "What's a Tri Psi?"
"The vampire sorority" Clark fills her in looking guilty. "Their leader's name was Buffy Saunders."
Buffy was shocked how he could leave that part out he is so going to pay for that tonight. Later though not around his mother. "Not a vampire not meteor infected just a girl."
Martha smiled "So how long have you and Clark been seeing each other?" Martha knew Clark was seeing someone with how often he was out it's nice to finally have a face after a week.
Buffy shrugged and turned to Clark who had the same look what were they going to say to her?
Buffy started with as much of the truth she was comfortable with giving. "We've been seeing each other for about a week we've known each other for a year and a half."
Martha turned to Clark "Why did it take so long to introduce us?"
"I was nervous." Buffy admitted "I wanted you to like me."
Martha just smiled she already likes her. "Clark has been happier this week than he has been for over a year and I know that's because of you thank you."
"And I got him to go back to school." Buffy added.
Clark winced he didn't tell her that yet. "Surprise! I was going to tell you this week but I kept getting Lionel and assistants on the phone."
Martha had a wide smile on her face. She was so disappointed when Clark dropped out of school but she didn't want to confront him on it because they had just lost Jonathon. Martha just hugs him relieved to have some good news today.
"Congratulations son." Lionel added.
Clark just nodded. He's still not used to compliments from Lionel he's waiting to see where Lionel will put the knife. Chloe chases Buffy off the alter and Lionel turns to Clark.
"Would you like to be the best man?" Lionel offered his position in sarcasm.
"Been there done that...twice." Clark replied as they all took their places.
* * *
><p>The wedding was beautiful. The ceremony was beautiful not the actual wedding. Although the Luthors pretty much own Smallville and Metropolis so that should be expected. Lana was upset she was expecting Clark to stand up during the does anyone object part but he just sat there no problem what so ever with what she was doing.<p>
Outside the reception Clark, Chloe, Buffy, and Jimmy are enjoying a bottle. Clark and Chloe are a little under legal but it's a wedding and considering Lana was thick headed enough to actually go through with it they needed a frigging drink. Even if one of them can't get drunk.
Chloe looked over at her boyfriend. "So how did you score an invite to the festivities?"
Jimmy just smiled he's only here on the off chance that he can dance with Chloe. "The prince of darkness needed wedding pictures and I needed $300. So who's the girl CK?"
Clark just smiled. "Jimmy Olsen, Buffy Summers."
The slayer and the photographer shook hands as the drinks pour. Jimmy knows it's petty but he's actually relieved Clark found someone. He was so worried that Chloe would abandon him when Clark finally opened his eyes and realized the wonderful person Chloe is. Looking at the looks Clark and Buffy give each other it's like him and Chloe aren't even here.
The drinks are poured and everyone is set to toast until Chloe realizes. "Guys what are we toasting to?" She's not toasting the 'happy' couple that's for sure.
Buffy was the first to come up with something. "To cookie dough"
Jimmy and Chloe just had matching looks of confusion; Even Clark was startled and not sure how to react.
Buffy sees the confused masses. "What, none of us are cookie us. We're not done becoming whoever the hell it is we're going to be. And when it comes we'll be done we'll be cookie us."
Jimmy caught on. "So we're toasting to our future?"
"Well yeah if you want to get all literal on it." Buffy said. It was nice seeing someone understand the reference she should have known it was a waste of time explaining food references to a vampire.
Clark just raised his glass. "To cookie dough"
Everyone else raised theirs. "To cookie dough"
* * *
><p>Chloe and Jimmy went to dance and Clark's mother pulled him away for a moment wanting to know more details about him going back to school and how much Buffy knows. Buffy's left wondering how she ended up alone here. She's not alone for long however as Lana steps out to talk to her. Buffy looks her over knowing this is Lana and although she'd need Willow or Xander for an official rating on how hot she is there is something about her. From the other end Lana looks over Buffy and just can't see what Clark sees in this tiny blond girl. It can't be the blond thing he would have just stolen Chloe from Jimmy. The poor girl, Lana almost feels sorry for her considering that Clark is probably up to his lying like crazy stage by now.<p>
Lana walks over to her. "Hi, I'm Lana Lang."
Buffy shakes her hand. "Buffy Summers" She's officially getting sick of this wedding she has to keep introducing herself.
"So are you and Clark dating?" Lana asks Buffy hoping to have her suspicions confirmed.
Buffy nods. "Yes we are."
"Just a little friendly warning expect to be hurt." Lana warned.
Buffy know Clark has enemies but she's curious. "What do you mean?"
"Clark lies." She says shortly. "He doesn't trust anyone even you."
Buffy just fights off a smile she already knew that from talking in heaven Clarkwas shy about his secret. "He trusts me." Buffy says for certain knowing she was the only one who Clark willingly told his secret to of his own free will in heaven.
Lana just smiled. "I see he's already pulled the wool over your eyes."
Buffy just laughed into her drink. "Wow, can you say bitter ex-girlfriend much. Kind of sad considering you're a married woman now. Keep bad mouthing Clark and I will hurt you."
Lana glared at her and Buffy gave her a stronger one causing Lana to back down and reply. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
Clark walks out and sees Lana storm right past him in a huff.
Clark turns to Buffy and sees she's trying to calm down a bit. "What was that about?"
"Nothing important just confirming me and Lana won't be BFFs." Buffy tells him. "What did you ever see in her?"
Clark just shrugged. "I fell in love with the idea of her. Beautiful wife, nice house, 2.4 kids."
Buffy just realized it from her own desires. "You wanted a normal life."
Clark nods. "Now she hates me I kept it going too long. Part of me wonders if I did this." He says referring to the wedding and pushing her to Lex.
Buffy shakes her head no. "No Clark you didn't. She chose to marry Lex even after everything he did to the two of you. Just like she chose to believe his lies. At the end of the day this is Lana's choice understand."
Clark smiled. "I understand. Do you want to go this is like the saddest wedding ever?"
Buffy couldn't argue with the saddest wedding part. An unhappy maid of honor till Jimmy showed up. Lionel just looked at Lex with disapproval. But there is one thing Buffy wants to do. She grabs Clark by the arm and pulls him to the dance floor.
Clark realizes what she's up to. "Buffy I don't dance. Less people will get hurt by you driving in rush hour."
Buffy playfully rolls her eyes not amused. "Come on Clark one slow dance won't end the world."
The two get on the dance floor for the next slow song followed by Jimmy and Chloe. Buffy rest her head and leans into Clark enjoying being this close to him. After Lana Clark doubted he would ever be this close to anyone again. But being with Buffy someone who knows what it's like to be isolated because you're different. He knows he's not alone anymore. He feels like he's floating with her in his arms. And when Chloe rapidly pulls him down it ends up they were.
* * *
><p>Up Next: The Scoobies come to Smallville in Phantoms.<p>
2. Phantoms
Buffy sat in the Kent farm a nervous wreck. Clark was out there fighting some phantom which admittedly he said he fought some before but according to Lionel this was some sort of Super Phantom. Buffy wanted to help but a Martian of all things said she would be a weakness since the phantom can easily invade any human host. Then to top off the fun Chloe 'died' sort of. Buffy got a call from Clark and he asked her to watch Chloe at the hospital in case Lex pulls something. Naturally with their rotten luck Chloe flat lined and was taken to the morgue. Buffy snuck in so Lex could not dismember her body. To her surprise Chloe's slab started shaking and Buffy pulled her out. Chloe got dressed and ordered Buffy to leave her alone. Buffy knows she would want to be alone after something like that so she let her be and went back to the farm. To her relief Clark came through that door and she ran right to him and leaped into his arms.
Clark easily caught her. "OK missed you too Buffy."
Clark puts her down but still has his arms wrapped around her.
Buffy just smiles in relief. "Tell me you kicked that phantom's butt, or used that crystal brought to you today by the letter S I'm not picky."
Clark just smiled. "I can safely say I got rid of that other me."
The two kiss and Buffy can instantly tell something's wrong. Clark was always gentle this guy's kiss was rough. Oh no that Phantom must have gotten inside Clark. Slaying her boyfriend definitely not something she wanted to do again after…Angel…and Spike. Buffy breaks the kiss and nudges Clark back a bit.
"Why don't you go take a shower? No offense but you're kind of ripe and I want to give the hero his special reward." She says in a sultry voice.
'Clark' blurs upstairs and Buffy instantly hears running water. She goes to the kitchen sink goes under it and pulls out a long lead box. Clark had Lionel sneak it off an abandoned project and give it to her if he ever went on a red K bender. Buffy opened the lead box she trusted Clark so much she never really asked what was in it. To her surprise something that would just scream her in the situation. A stake made entirely out of kryptonite.
Buffy just smiles lightly only Clark could think of this. "For the slayer who has everything" Buffy bends the box around making a makeshift lead case for the stake. She doesn't want the phantom knowing that she's packing until it was too late.
* * *
><p>Buffy went up to Clark's room and whatever he was now is ready for her. Buffy straddled 'Clark' and started tying up his arms to the bed.<p>
'Clark' smirked. "You do realize these won't really do anything."
Buffy kissed the side of his neck moving up nibbling on his ear and whispered. "Humor me."
'Clark' stuck his hand up and Buffy tied it to the other side. Seeing that she'll likely never get a better chance she pulls out her stake and shoves it into Clark's chest. The stake glows for a couple seconds before it turns clear.
The phantom just smiled and easily broke the ropes of course. "You know I gotta give you credit. Lois had traces and considering how far I went with Lana she definitely didn't figure it out."
Buffy's face paled unwanted visual. She swung but Bizarro caught her hand and threw her out the window inadvertently letting sunlight in and weakening him. Buffy landed in the real Clark's arms. Buffy didn't even say hello. "The phantom's in the…" They see Bizarro fly out over head. "Never mind"
Clark put Buffy down. "Are you OK?"
Buffy just nods. "I need a new stake. Don't woosh yet I need to know what he is."
Clark just shrugs he doesn't even fully know. "He's some sort of experiment he's like the direct opposite of me he's powered by kryptonite but sunlight weakens him."
Buffy grabs him before he takes off. "Once again no woosh we're fighting this guy together my enemies are your enemies and likewise for yours. Now come on we need to make a phone call."
* * *
><p>Bizarro has knocked out Lex. He tried to be a hero and kept him from the kryptonite ugh. He hears a woosh and Clark comes in and puts him in a full nelson. Bizarro was confused is he really doing this.<p>
"This is your big gun Clark, a full nelson?"
Bizarro just laughs as Buffy comes in and throws a bag of glitter and crushed herbs over the two kryptonians dousing them both. Buff just pulls out her phone. "It's for you."
"Nisi vox of sol solis imbibo esculentus apricus letifico." Willow says over the phone.
Bizarro feels Clark's strength intensify while he feels immediately weaker. Clark holds on and Willow's solar spell makes a mini sun that crumbles Bizarro into green dust.
Buffy just smiles her job's done but she sees Clark is really upset. "Clark what is it?"
Clark just shrugged. "I just hate killing it never feels right."
Buffy just hugged him. "I forget how much of an optimist you are."
Clark just hugged her back. "I just felt bad for the thing. And that I helped do it to him."
Buffy shrugged. "I do too a little bit with what you told me. But he didn't have to stay in those bodies till they went bad he could have jumped from person to person. He didn't have to kill all those people once he got your body but he did. We stopped him and saved all his future victims. Besides you don't look down at me with all the things I've destroyed over the years."
Clark shook his head no. "You're a good person you know that. You saved the world god knows how many times."
"Then stop doubting yourself." Buffy ordered. "You just saved it today."
"I love you." Clark replied not sure where that came from but not caring.
Buffy eyes shot out. "What did you just say?"
"I love you." Clark repeated himself. "I don't know if I ever said it in heaven or Sunnydale or since you got here but I love you Buffy Summers."
Buffy smiled and practically pounced on him. "I love you too." The two share a deep kiss and Buffy drops down and starts pulling at Clark's arm.
"Where are we going?" Clark asked.
"My place" Buffy answered. "I need an able bodied kryptonian to rip all my clothes off."
Clark just follows her. "Work, work, work"
* * *
><p><strong>6 Months Later<strong>
Clark and Buffy are enjoying a little quiet time in bed wrapped in each other's arms. Both are living separate lives but they're still together. Clark is enjoying Journalism though he wonders how Chloe keeps her job at the Planet and does this and his favors. She got him a job there in the basement. Buffy made a call to Giles and using the New Council's pull they even got Lois a job there. Clark knows Lois earned it. He can't count how many times she had Lex in a vice grip but being the viper that he was slithered away untouched. He's just been getting worse since Lana dumped him and moved to Paris to start over after finding out she slept with a 'clone'. Buffy is getting new lessons in her weapons from the history they've been through. She loves her new life in Metropolis and she still works with the Scoobies on occasion. She's even talking to Willow over the phone today.
Clark looks at the time. "We overdid it again."
Buffy just shrugs as she breaks free to look at her clock. "Only by half an…4 hours."
Buffy just laughed. "So how is Kara adjusting to being an earth gal?"
Clark shrugged. "She's getting there. Think she's still mad at me for smashing her crystal though."
Buffy looked at him. "Clark you know what Zor El was capable of and whatever came out would not have been your mother. And Zor El would have been an encore of Zod and Dark Thursday."
Clark shrugged. "I know and thank you for stopping me from using it."
Buffy just nodded. "Stop your boyfriend, save the world its part of the gig."
At this the door opens and Xander walks in. "Greetings from merry old Scot…" He sees the two naked people and quickly covers his eyes. "Damn it Clark you should have let Caleb blind me."
Buffy eyes lit up in surprise. "Xander what the hell are you doing here?"
Xander turned around and spoke to the door. "Willow told you we were coming down today we have a problem."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "We got out signals mixed up I was expecting a phone call. So who's here?"
"Me, Will and Giles"
Buffy just put hands to her head. "Great the whole gang's all here. Go stall for time we'll be right down."
Buffy ran over but a blur whooshed past her and she was fully dressed. She turned around and saw Clark fully dressed straight down to jacket. How does he do that? She can focus on that later. Buffy runs some water through her face and Clark does the same. In moments they're ready to go back down. Clark and Buffy walk out of the bedroom and see Xander sitting down trying to stall Giles and Willow with a glowing smile.
Buffy comes down and instantly notices Willow. "What is she so happy about?"
The redhead instantly went for cover but Xander wouldn't have it. "Oh she has a date tonight."
Buffy just smiled happy for her friend. "Way to go Will. So who's the lucky girl?"
Willow smiled. "Her name is Maggie and she's a cop who pulled us over earlier. I thought she was cute so I asked her out."
"Oh I know her." Clark answered. "Don't tell her about your nightlife right away she might arrest you."
Giles was cleaning his glasses he loves seeing Buffy again but they're here on rather urgent business. "Can we focus as to why we're here please?"
Buffy nodded. "So what's up?"
Giles fixed his glasses and started explaining. "A slayer died last night. A mark was left on her shoulder far to big to be a vampire."
Buffy looked up this is the one thing she knows is part of the life but she hates it. "Who died?"
"Dana" Giles answered simply.
Buffy and Clark looked at him with faces of confusion. Buffy was the one to speak up. "Isn't that the slayer you sent me and Clark after in LA? And have a confrontation with Angel telling him we're not on the same side."
Giles nodded. "She disappeared from her room last night and reappeared this morning dead."
Buffy looked down she was the one that committed her to Belle Reeve in the first place. "You tried to warn me Clark. Guess I should have listened huh?" Buffy saw that Curtis Knox's work was actually helping people despite the man himself. She figured it was Dana's best shot to make a recovery.
Clark just looked at her with steel resolve. "This was not your fault OK." Clark said while looking through Dana's folder.
Buffy just smirked. "Then who's is it? Words are nice Clark but they're just…"
"Him" Clark said putting a picture of Dana's doctor down on the table he's seen him before. "Who is he?"
Willow looked at the picture. "Dr. Viktor Maddox he runs the place."
Ever since starting at Met U and the Planet Clark has been playing superhero. Buffy has even joined him on occasion with Oliver's leftovers while dressed in a red suit, yellow cloak, and mask. Oliver asked him to look into this guy before. Clark tracked him down to Fort Ryan but all he found was a bunch of dead bodies that all worked for Lex. Maddox moved the fights somewhere else. "I need to make a phone call."
* * *
><p>Kara came into Buffy's penthouse her life sucks. Jimmy and her broke up a month ago because he still loved Chloe. Also Kara knows he was a bad guy but Buffy and Kal took away her chance to meet her father one last time and try to save him. She's putting it squarely on Buffy's shoulders. She walks right into the place.<p>
"Kal do you even live in Smallville or do you just keep superspeeding to the planet and this place to scr." Kara sees all the strangers. "I-I mean driving here and there and moving in here to save on much needed…gasoline because gas prices these days they're so lo…I mean high."
Buffy just smiled she's half tempted to see how long Kara will keep this going. "They know about Clark Kara."
"Not entirely" Giles pointed out seeing Buffy knows the truth along with this Kara girl.
Xander is looking at Kara she is beautiful. He and Anya didn't last. She became an accountant for Queen Industries after Sunnydale fell wanting to get out of apocalypses caused by being near slayers. Last Xander heard she was dating someone a guy called Victor he believes. Kara just looks over to Xander and is kind of thankful Kal taught her to control her heat vision once Buffy smacked him down for treating her like a child. Xander just smiled and turned to Buffy.
"So Buff care to make introductions" Xander asked.
Buffy smiled. "Willow, Giles, Xander meet Kara Kent, Kara meet Rupert Giles, Willow Rosenburg, and Alexander Harris."
Kara turned to Buffy looking sad. "Do I have to stay away from this Lex too?"
Buffy just smiled. "No, and he prefers Xander."
Xander just smiles. "I don't hurt people."
Kara just smirked. "I very much doubt you could hurt me. I'm Clark's cousin."
Xander's face instantly paled. Amanda told him about the battle on the seal and how when Clark couldn't vaporize vampires anymore by staring at them he settled for punching their heads off. What would Clark do if he finds out Xander digs his cousin?
Kara notices Xander's face. "Relax I'm tougher then my cousin. Do you want to get something to eat I'm starving?"
Xander smiled. "Maybe after we figure this out."
Clark came out after his phone call with Oliver. "Maddox runs a gladiator club. He opens his labtop and types in the URL Ollie gave him over the phone."
Clark opens the webpage and it leads to a show called fight or die. Maddox comes out and introduces Dana as 'Loopy Lana' Buffy wonders if she should pun but decides against it. Her opponent was a giant bald man named Titan. Dana fought bravely but Titan was a force of nature decimating her and killing with a bone spike.
"Kal pause the tape." Kara ordered.
Clark pause the tape and both kryptonians saw it. Buffy spoke up. "We don't speak your mute language what is it?"
Clark turned to her. "Titan is a phantom."
Xander looked at it nodded. "Oh good he's a phantom…what's a phantom."
"You know that place I locked Caleb in." Clark asked.
The scoobies nodded.
"This Titan got out of it." Clark answered. "I let him out."
"By accident" Buffy quickly pointed out to stop Willow. "You had to do it to save the world."
Clark shrugged. "Well I'll go follow Maddox he'll lead me to Titan."
Buffy quickly grabbed him and pulled him into the kitchen.
Clark broke her grip. "Buffy what are you doing?"
"I want you to let me and Kara go after this Titan." Buffy said.
"Why?" Clark asked.
Buffy collected herself and started. "Because me and Kara need quality death time together and you need to talk to my friends. They already know you're more than human and I know they can handle it."
Clark looks at her and sees what she is up to. "You don't want to lie to your friends anymore."
Buffy nods her head. "I hate covering up. But I love you and that's part of the Clark package like vampires are part of the Buffy package. But I know they can handle it please just think about it."
Clark just kisses her real quick. "You and Kara should go."
Buffy nods and grabs Kara and the two head out the door.
* * *
><p>Clark walks in him and the three scoobies just stare at each other. Well at least the day won't be boring. Both didn't know how to get this part out and Giles just decided to be the one to start.<p>
"Clark we've heard a good deal about you over the phone from Buffy."
"All good I hope." Clark replied.
Giles nodded. "Well yes" Giles takes off his glasses. "Not that I buy it."
Clark was startled. "Excuse me?" He thought he got this past this in Sunnydale.
"Buffy has had her experiences with farmboys in the past. The last one left her broken hearted."
Clark glared at him as he stood up. "Riley couldn't stand the fact that Buffy was stronger than him and wasn't close to him and instead of being there for her when she was ready. He turned to random vampires to give him suckjobs who could have killed him if not worse. I don't think it's fair to condemn me for what he did."
Giles stared back at him. "Very well Kal that was the name Kara used for you. It's also the name of a criminal who ran wild in Metropolis a few years back with powers similar to yours."
Clark put his hands up. "Not my proudest moment as I've told Buffy who told me she did something similar running to LA."
Xander and Willow can't believe this. Giles researched him. Buffy is going to slay him. Then maybe slay them for bringing him with them.
Clark just stared at him. At worse he figures he can ask J'onn to undo the damage. "And since I'm betting you already researched me lets try this. I'm not a human I'm an alien."
Xander and Willow's jaws drop respectively and Giles mouth even drops a little. Clark quickly realizes they didn't know that and covers his head in his hands. He's thankful Lex never got him as angry as Giles. Well now it's the moment of truth can they handle it or not.
Giles looked at Clark. The alien bit didn't matter to him he has 50 people in his cell phone and only 12 of them are human. What mattered to him was the answer to this next question. "Does Buffy know about you?"
Clark calmed down and sat back down. "Buffy's known about me for about a half hour after I met her."
Xander was just confused. "Why would you tell her so fast and hold out on the rest of us." He's geeking out he knows an alien.
Clark shrugged. "We were in heaven didn't think I had anything left to lose. Any other questions?"
"What do you run off of its magic but it's not." Willow asked.
Clark just smiles. "The sun gives me my powers it charges all the cells in my bodies."
Willow nearly choked the sun. Dear god save for a supernova he is going to be here for a really long time. Spike and Faith are right Buffy just doesn't do normal despite how much she tries.
Once they get past Giles Papa Wolf moment towards Clark they just talk like civilized people with very…different lives.
* * *
><p>Kara and Buffy are coming back battered and beaten. Titan's dead but Buffy learned he could hit harder then Caleb could. Luckily Kara held her own maybe even better then Clark would have. Buffy guesses girls really do mature faster than boys like she teases Clark about. The two walk up and hear everyone laughing.<p>
Buffy just pouted. "I wonder what they're so cheery about."
Kara used her ears to pick up the conversation she turns to Buffy and asked. "I thought your last name was Summers?"
Kara looks at the slayer and is thankful she is not Clark. Buffy looked like she might explode. Why is he telling them that story! Buffy barges in and nearly knocks the doors off their hinges. "Clark Joseph Kent, why are you telling them that story."
Clark just shrugged. "It's funny."
Willow to Buffy's surprise supported Clark. "It is kind of funny Buff. Clark working with Mecha Spike to stop a vampire Buff it's like opposite day…if there was such a thing as opposite day."
Buffy just gave a sickening sweet smile to Clark. Two can play this game. She turns to Kara. "You want to hear what Clark did last year on Valentine's day."
The images of him and Lois started playing. Clark just looked up at Buffy. "I'll stop if you will."
"Deal"
Buffy ordered four pizzas for dinner that night. One for her, one for Clark, one for Kara, and one for the scoobies so they could each eat their fill and catch up with Buffy and tell her how Dawn is doing abroad. Soon enough they start leaving Kara and Xander go to a movie. While Willow went on her date with Maggie and Giles explored Metropolis until they are ready to go. Clark and Buffy just watch the stars at night.
"So did you tell them?" Buffy asks.
Clark nodded. "Giles seemed to already have a pretty good idea of who I was. He looked me up."
Buffy shot up. "He what! Oh I am going to hurt him in so many different ways and on so many different levels."
Clark realizes he shouldn't have said that and is currently trying to get Buffy to drop the idea of hurting her watcher. "Buffy its fine besides this whole day was like getting to meet the family."
Buffy just leans into him it's a cold day and he's a living furnace. "Thanks for going easy on my family."
Clark just smiles. "No problem, it's the least I could do considering you have to talk to Lois on a daily basis, but if Xander hurts Kara don't be surprised if he accidentally gets hit with a wrecking ball at his next construction job."
Buffy just giggles at the image that has put in her head. "Remind me to bring you with me when I meet Dawn's Boyfriend."
Clark just smiles. "OK what's his name?"
"Bart"
Clark just thinks on it for a second. 'Nah couldn't be' he hopes not anyway.
* * *
><p>Author's notes<p>
Thanks for the reviews
I hated that Anya died but I didn't see them doing anything after Sunnydale so I broke them up.
Up Next: When Clark, Chloe, and Kara go missing Buffy has to call in reinforcements to her surprise she gets Men in Tights.
3. Men in Tights
Buffy sat up in a cold sweat. She looks around and sees she's in a hospital gown in Scotland. She comes down stairs and sees Xander who smiles wide and runs up and hugs her.
"Guys she's awake."
At this Willow came running down the steps followed by Dawn. Buffy appreciates the gesture as all three smother her but she's still human. "Guys even slayers need to breath."
They let go and Buffy feels relief as air refills her lungs. For about 2 seconds and then Giles crushes her. "OK I missed you all but how did I end up here?"
"What's the last thing you remember?" Xander asked.
Buffy thought back. "I was attacked by Brainiac. He knocked me out."
Giles pulled off his glasses and cleaned them this wasn't going to be easy. "Brainiac as you call it did a lot more than attack you."
Buffy has a feeling she's not going to like this. "What did it do to me?"
Dawn spoke up. "It put you in a coma."
Buffy instantly felt everything tense up. "How long?"
"65 days 14 Hours 45 minutes" Willow answered. "But who's counting."
"And Clark?" Buffy had to ask he would have been here. In fact they'd probably have to throw him out.
Dawn just shrugged. "We called when you started improving but we didn't get an answer."
Buffy just turned to Willow. "Can you teleport me to Smallville?"
Xander just looked at her. "Buff"
Buffy just put her hands up. "No, knowing Clark he did something foolish to bring me back and is now paying for it and besides I feel like a million bucks. Willow please."
Willow just relented and half an hour later she was in Clark's loft. She sees Jimmy Olsen up high. Buffy climbs up the loft. "Jimmy what are you doing here?"
Jimmy was nervous but answered. "Buffy you're back done spending time with your family."
Buffy nodded. "So where's Clark?"
Jimmy was nervous she saw Buffy slap around Clark a couple times and he was a giant compared to him he really hopes she doesn't believe in killing the messenger. "I-it was all my fault. Buffy I really screwed up."
Buffy just put her hands on his shoulders trying to get him to calm down. "Jimmy calm down OK. Now start from the beginning."
Jimmy just nodded. "Clark was getting ready to go to Scotland my guess is he was going to see you. But I needed his help because Chloe got arrested."
Buffy's eyes shot up. "How did Chloe get arrested?"
"Her habitual hacking caught Uncle Sam's eye, so I-I kind of went to Lex for help, and now he's holding it over my head."
Buffy pushed him into the wall hard and held him up by his shirt. "You went to Lex Luthor for help what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Look, I told him to get another lapdog. Then he just…he put her back on their most wanted list." Jimmy sighs. "She went from life support to life without parole in less than a day."
Buffy just looked at him. "That's what happens when you make a deal with the devil. Where's Lex now?"
Jimmy shrugged. "Look, I don't know. I tried to get in contact with him, but he's off jet-setting around the Arctic Circle. And I know it's not drilling oil, 'cause he's gone way out of his way to cover his tracks in the snow. I told Clark all this 2 hours ago and I haven't seen him since."
Buffy has a sinking feeling in her gut that Lex is going for the fortress. "Go home Jimmy I'll take from here."
"But I want to help." Jimmy objected.
Buffy just glared at him. "You've done enough."
When Jimmy leaves Buffy grabs a book from the loft and finds no key. Clark is at the fortress. Buffy hops in his truck and takes off. The drive to the cave was far beyond reckless even by Buffy's standard that was bad driving. She ran into the cave and went into the alter and saw the key. She pulled it out and pushed it back in. Nothing, she tried it 5 more times but the result was always the same, the portal was dead. Luckily for her Clark had a plan for something like this.
* * *
><p>She made a quick stop at the Kent farm for Clark's journal and his laptop so she can catch up on what she missed for the last two months. She drove to Metropolis trying to get in touch with Kara on her phone but there's no answer what hell happened these last two months. She made it to the place Clark told her to go if he and Chloe ever went missing at the same time. She went up the elevator and went to the computer. She went onto the website Clark told her to go to Artemis Global consortium and types up the email.<p>
'Boyscout and Watchtower MIA'
Buffy sat down and went to work on Clark's lap top ordinarily using you own name as a password would be lazy. Using you alien name however is pretty funny since that's what they'll likely be looking for. Buffy went to work and caught up on the last two months. Apparently they haven't been kind to Clark. Lionel Luthor was killed by Lex. Buffy wonders how someone with a soul could kill their own father. All because of something he found out by torturing a Patricia Swann to death and taking a necklace off her. Veritas used to oh god no. Buffy just reads the next part control an alien. If Lex cracked the Veritas he has a Clark-bot on his side, not good.
Buffy laid on the couch there's nothing in Clark's journal or lap top about Kara and Buffy was so obsessed with Clark she never got to ask Xander about Kara. She found it funny that Xander is with an invulnerable alien. At least she could keep him out of trouble. Buffy's eyes glazed over and as much as she hates it she went to sleep.
* * *
><p>Buffy was woken up by the sound of a helicopter dangerously close to the place she's in. She gets up and looks around. Being the slayer she has better hearing than others and knows she's not alone in here. Buffy looks around and sees a man in Green leather. Great, just what she needs right now the Lucky Charms Bandit. Buffy sneaks up behind him and kicks him in the back of the head knocking him out.<p>
"You better not be old man Jenkins." Buffy quipped as she removed the hood and glasses. "Oliver Queen"
Buffy stood there arms across her chest waiting for the billionaire to regain consciousness. Oliver started coming to and clearing the cob webs in his head realizing he's tied up. He feels like he just got hit by a truck. He looks over and sees a petite blond has commandeered his longbow. When he tells Clark this story he's going to leave this part out.
"Where's Clark Kent?" The two ask in unison.
Buffy just looks confused. Until a blue beam of energy punches through the window revealing the helicopter she was hearing. Buffy ducks the attack and takes an arrow from Oliver's quiver and aims at the helicopter.
Oliver's eyes nearly shoot out. "Oh not that one."
Buffy shoots at the helicopter to scare off his friends, the arrow impacted on the helicopter and a something like a forcefield surrounded the helicopter and it started going down.
Oliver just glared at the girl. "You shot down my helicopter with my own damn arrow."
"I didn't mean to, and shut up." Buffy replied while going to the window and looking out. She breathed a sigh of relief that no one was hurt. "What the hell was in that arrow?"
"Electro Magnetic Pulse" Oliver answered.
Buffy just saw one girl and three guys exit and start coming up the elevator. She knew she should have called in some slayers. The elevator opened and she saw a blond woman with short hair in fishnets and a painted on mask. Along with a blonde guy in green and orange, next to him was another guy in silver blue and black, followed by a younger person in red and yellow…whom is currently dating her sister.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Bart what the hell is this?"
Impulse hesitated but decided to try to keep in character. "Who's Bart?"
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Shrimp I can smell that elephant husk that you call cologne from here."
Bart takes off his glasses and hood. "We really suck at this secret identity thing. It's good to see you on your feet Buffster you had Dawn terrified."
Buffy nodded. "I just wish I had a happier wake up." She and Clark should be having one of those deep passionate moments from movies she shouldn't have to be looking for him right now. She turned to Oliver "By the way what the hell is all this rich leather daddy."
Oliver frowned as he ran through his group, who they are and what they do. Buffy listens almost having a hard time believing this. She just turns to Bart and looks at him with the eyes of a slayer.
Bart is almost sweating. "What?"
Buffy just stared at him. "Dawn said you were a courier."
"I am a courier" Bart defended himself. "I'm just the fastest courier alive. Dawn knows already anyway."
Buffy's eyes shot out kill Dawn later find Clark now. "As much fun as this is why did Clark leave instructions for me to hail leather queen and the men in tights?"
All the leaguers shot Buffy a look of disbelief. Oliver was the one that spoke up. "Wait Clark was the one that told you to call us?"
Buffy nods. "Who were you expecting?"
Oliver shrugged. "Honestly I always expected it would be Lois. How do you know Clark anyway?"
Buffy just stares at him. "We've been dating for a year and a half."
Bart just smiled. Super powered guys always get the hottest girls. "You and stretch, man I gotta give him some mad props I didn't think my amigo had it in him."
Oliver turned to Buffy. "Do you know where to look?"
Buffy nods. "I have a pretty good idea."
* * *
><p><strong>4 Weeks Later<strong>
They went to the fortress or at least the glop of snow that was the fortress and nothing was there. They smacked around some guards but couldn't find anything. No Clark no Lex not even a single crystal so where was Clark during all this. He was locked away as forced labor after barely escaping the crumbling fortress. Clark made numerous attempts to escape but each one ended in complete and utter failure. His latest it seems had finally pushed his 'boss' over the edge. As he was set to chop him into pieces.
However before they could cut his throat. Someone was approaching the dock. The boss of the operation was shocked as it looked like the first time ever Clark had fear in his eyes after almost a month from this dark haired man walking in the sun. Milton Fine had found him. This time however he does not have his powers what the hell is he going to do? He watched as Fine and the boss got into a conversation. He didn't understand a word of it but at the end the boss said. "We'll throw him in for free."
Fine grabbed Clark by the scruff of the neck and marched him forward. "Keep moving"
Clark just looked behind Fine once they were out of eyesight. "So what exactly did you tell him anyway?"
"That I needed caviar and a new boy toy." A familiar female voice quips.
Clark turns around and sees Faith. He puts two and two together and quickly realizes that Fine is. "Spike"
Spike just smirked. "Bottle of hair dye $50 dollars" He shows him a ring. "The Gem of Amara from the Cleveland hellmouth dusting 6 Lestat want to bes. The look of terror on your face when you saw me bloody priceless. Come on stop sign I think you've been keeping a certain woman waiting far too long."
* * *
><p>Clark, Faith, and Spike rapidly board the plane and they take off. Buffy pounces on Clark like she usually does when he fights something dangerous. However this time Clark nearly falls back and she notices it. "Clark are you OK?"<p>
Clark just nods because this is OK for him now. "When Jor El said he had a way of controlling me he meant."
Buffy catches on. "He took away your powers."
Oliver chimes in. "Guess it beats Lex having control of a Clark bot."
Buffy puts her hands up. Working with Oliver this past has been well…a pain in the ass. "Please don't say bot followed by a person."
Oliver shrugs. "Whatever way you want it Speedy."
Clark just turns to Buffy. "Didn't let you choose your codename huh?"
Buffy shakes her head no. "I caught Bart and Dawn in a compromising situation I was so angry I actually caught him."
Clark panicked as he realized something. Someone's missing. "Where's Chloe?"
Oliver just looked at him. "I had an army of lawyers on it but whoever took Chloe sure wasn't homeland security."
Clark just looks at him. "Then there has to be something we missed."
Buffy just grabbed his shoulder for support she knows Chloe is his best friend and how much she means to him. "We called everyone even Angel. If the most evil lawyers on earth can't find her."
Clark had a thought. "What about Lex?"
Faith just looked at him. "I doubt cue ball could do anything under all that ice."
Clark just looked at her. "I survived without my powers. I'm sure Lex did too."
Buffy turned to Oliver. "Did you and your merry men in tights shut down all those 333 places?"
Oliver just glared at her. First Lana and now this Buffy. Clark has the strangest taste in women hands down. "33.1 and we got all of them except for the ridge facility in Montana."
"OK then let's go." Clark said.
Buffy just looked at him. "Clark this can be dangerous for you."
Clark just looked at her. "So was going after Titan and Bizarro you still went."
Buffy just stares at him. "I said all I'll say just try to stay alive I just got you back."
Clark just silently nods as a picture comes up on the TV screen. It's Willow and Xander.
Willow just smiles. "Hey you guys finally found Clark."
Xander runs up to the screen and nearly bulldozes Willow out of the way. "Clark tell me that you have seen Kara or at least know what happened to her."
Clark frowned. "I know where she is but I can't ever get to her."
Xander is horrified where is she then? "Clark we might have ways that you don't just tell us where she is."
Clark just looked right at the screen. "Brainiac locked her in the phantom zone it's the only place I can think of that's worse then death."
Willow looked at him. "Is that it the place you sent Caleb?"
Clark silently nods and Willow teleports off screen and into the plane causing everyone to jump in surprise especially Oliver.
"Jesus Red give a bloke a heart attack…If his heart still beated," Spike finished.
Clark juts turned to Willow. "You really think you can bring Kara back?"
Willow nodded without doubt. "I just need some of your blood and some of Dawnie's it's a whole blood thing."
Clark nodded and put his hand out. Willow looked at him with a you have to be kidding me look.
"It will work now." Clark assures her.
Willow cuts and sure enough drew blood fast. "Going to have to explain that one later. I'll see you soon Buff hopefully with Kara."
Buffy watches Willow leave and she's focused on Montana. They're all going so hopefully they can get Chloe and get out real quick.
* * *
><p>At the facility everyone went their own way Clark ran into someone he never expected to see. Lois with a bunch of guards.<p>
Lois is playing her part. "I can't believe this. One alarm-clock malfunction, and suddenly you're demoted and shipped to Deliverance territory." Lois sighs seeing Clark she doesn't need this right now. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I"
"You know him?" The one of the guards asked.
"Yeah, No." Lois and Clark say simultaneously.
Lois just glared at him. "He wishes he didn't know me. I thought I dropped you off at your cell."
"We'll take him back." Another guard offered
Lois glared at the guards. "And send me to the Sahara? One demotion this week is enough."
"We'll handle it." The guard said.
Lois wasted no time and assaulted the guards and Clark joined in knocking some senseless himself with punches kicks and throws.
Lois looked at Clark she was not attracted by that. "What are you doing here? And where did you learn to throw people around like that."
"I heard they had good espresso." Clark quipped. "And Buffy's a black belt." She taught him some things on the flight and thankfully Clark still has his memory at least.
Lois smirked so that's how she keeps Smallville in line. "You disappear for a month and come back with a sense of humor?"
Clark rolls his eyes. "I've been tracking Chloe down since Buffy woke up. The question is how did you get here?"
"Feminine charm" Lois answers as Clark scoffs. "Yes, I do have some."
"Great job protecting your short supply of it." Clark deadpanned.
Lois rolls her eyes. "Why don't you give your stand-up a rest and do exactly what I tell you? That way, we can find Chloe and stay alive at the same time."
Clark and Lois make it to where Chloe is held. The guard in the room knocks out Lois but Clark quickly knocks him out. He rescues Chloe and the two have a talk about being mortal and Chloe agrees to stay with Lois while Clark goes to look for the others.
* * *
><p>Buffy enters a room and sees Aquaman, and Black Canary tied up. "Well done guys you found Chloe. Are Impulse, Cyborg, and Oracle here too?"<p>
AC just looked at her confused. "No and why would Oracle leave HQ."
Buffy just shrugged. "I just had to make sure since its Tuesday."
AC and Dinah nod in understanding which actually means Dawn got kidnapped before. Buffy rolls her eyes at that and goes to break their chains when a green syringe is shot into her arm.
Lex's man smiled. "Do whatever it takes to find out what happened to Lex Luthor."
* * *
><p>Clark went down the hall and saw Buffy at the bottom of the stairs. "Buffy I found Chloe."<p>
Buffy went up stairs and cupped Clark's face in the palm of her hand. She quickly smashed the side of Clark's head into the glass window and he stumbled to the floor. "Where's Lex?"
"I have no idea." Clark answered.
Buffy just grabbed him and threw him down the stairs. "I'll do whatever it takes to find Lex."
Clark just rolls his eyes through the blood. "Buffy you hate Lex."
Buffy comes down pulling out a stake. "Start talking, or the biography of Clark Kent comes to a sudden, tragic end!"
Clark just looked at her from the floor. "I don't know."
Buffy had the stake in the air as Faith came through the door finding nothing and saw the sight. "B, no"
Buffy plunged the stake right into Clark no different than a vampire. Faith grabbed Buffy and threw her hard into a wall. A green light shimmers in Buffy's eyes as she regains control. What the hell did she do? Oh no…Oh god no!
Buffy ran over to Faith who was trying to keep pressure on Clark's wound. Faith put her hands up.
"It's me Faith I saw what I was doing but I couldn't stop myself."
Buffy cradled Clark in her arms. "Clark, come on!" Buffy looked at him tears in her eyes as her voice broke. "I'm so sorry. I... Clark, please. Clark, can you hear me? Clark please don't go not now."
Chloe came out of the room leaving Lois with Spike. "Oh, no!"
Buffy was trying to keep him here. "Clark!"
Chloe moved Buffy aside. "I can save him."
Buffy just looked at what she's done. "I couldn't stop myself."
"Buffy, move back. I can save him." Chloe assured her as Buffy handed Clark over to her.
Clark speaks weakly. "No…Chloe."
"It's gonna be okay." Chloe assured him.
Clark tried to keep her back. "No. No, don't heal me."
Chloe's face went to horror it wasn't working. "It's not working. Clark?"
Clark saw the white lights it's where he first met Buffy but he doesn't want to go now. There is still so much he wants to do. He sees glimpses of his life his parents Lana and the last time he was in that place with Buffy. He focuses his vision and sees his cousin looking down at him.
"I'm here Kal." Kara swept him up in her arms and she flies out the window for the sun with Clark in tow so his body heals and his powers are returned. She flies back to earth with Clark as healthy as the day he was born. Buffy just hugged Clark with all she had. Followed by Chloe. Spike and Lois came out as they landed which meant they had a lot of explaining to do.
* * *
><p>Back at the Kent Barn the scoobies and the league joined for one big dinner celebration since everyone was finally back where they belonged. Lois was getting everything she could on everyone stuttering a bit at Clark or Kal El as he's also called. She looked at Ollie and realized how much she missed him. Maybe they could have a second chance.<p>
Clark looked over to Bart and Dawn. "Still can't believe it's the two of you."
Bart just smiled. "Hey stretch I had to find someone at some point."
"And what's wrong with me." Dawn pointed at him feeling insulted.
Clark just looked at the two and smiled adding on. "It's just how do you two find time to be together between all the kidnappings."
Dawn glared at him. "We don't get kidnapped that much."
Victor smiled. "They're right Kent it's mostly Dawn on Tuesdays and Bart on Thursdays."
Bart glared at him. "Very funny Tin man keep it up and we'll have Anya here to charge Stretch for the rescue that will be graceful."
Xander just stared at Victor and put a hand at his neck. "Ye high, rapidly changing hair color, loves money."
Victor nods. "That would be her."
Xander smiled happy Anya found someone. "Don't ever let her go."
Victor nodded. "I have no plan to Xander."
Xander just stares a hole through Dawn.
Dawn just smiles. "Hey you're both with different people and you're both happy. I didn't see any reason to bring it up."
Buffy just looks around the table. The people that are here are her family. This was the longest month in a long time. But they stood by her and not one of them gave up on finding Clark and Chloe. She was a little bit surprised to see Spike kissing Faith but fighting together on a hellmouth that was bound to happen. She sees Willow and Chloe having a laugh and a couple thoughts go through her head that maybe there is something there since Chloe dumped Jimmy for going to Lex behind her back. No shocker there the guy killed his father why would he protect Chloe. She sees Xander and Kara laughing and catching up. Apparently Kara is leaving tomorrow to search the earth looking for something called Kandor and Xander is going with her. She sees Lois and Oliver making jokes about each other and laughing back at good times. She sees Giles being the older patriarch just enjoying the scene. She sees Dawn with Bart. She wasn't a fan of Bart even less when she found out about his past but it became clear that Bart really cares for and loves Dawn. She's happy her sister has found someone who makes her happy and can get help at the speed of light if she's in trouble. That leaves Clark. Wait, where the hell is Clark? He must have blurred to the loft while no one was looking.
* * *
><p>Buffy entered the loft and saw Clark looking out to the sky. "You know if I wanted to stay with a brooding immortal I would have just stayed with Angel."<p>
Clark just smiled. "I was just thinking."
"About what?" Buffy asked.
Clark wasn't sure how to say so he just went into a ramble. "You think you're immortal it only takes a second to find out you're not. When I was dying there were so many thoughts going through my head. Most of them were the things I regretted not doing and not having the time to do them."
"Like what?" Buffy asked.
"Certain things." Clark answered.
Buffy looked at him. "Not really a fan of the vague."
"I was going to wait until everyone left to do this. But since they're all eating I think we're safe." Clark pulled out a bracelet with a green stone in the middle of Kayla's bracelet. Contrary to popular belief only in a way it was meant for his soul mate but according to Kara it's a kryptonian engagement ring basically.
Clark got down on one knee and looked at Buffy in her eyes. "Buffy I liked you the moment I saw you. You were always so brave and you put aside your happiness for the sake of others so many times you might have me beat. I saw you courage and your strength. I love you Buffy Anne Summers and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"
Buffy had been left speechless. This was a rare moment if there ever was one. She absolutely loves Clark and always will. She realizes this is why she never gave up and how she was so fast to her feet in finding him she wanted this moment. "Yes Clark I will."
Clark wrapped Buffy in his arms and gave her a spin in happiness until they heard a female kryptonian shout "YES" from outside.
Buffy just smirked. "Forgot about Kara's hearing didn't you."
Clark put her down and shrugged his shoulders. "A little bit yeah."
Buffy looked down at the bracelet it's beautiful but much like a lot of things in Clark's life it's going to bring up questions. "Clark…I want to show people I'm engaged and I love this but…"
Clark caught on. He loves how Buffy protects his secret. "I didn't want to wait. I was planning on taking you out for breakfast and ring shopping tomorrow or I can make you one if you'd like."
Buffy smiled. "I'll take a custom made one. Really get to show it off."
Clark wrapped his arms around her. "Done and done. So Kara just got done telling everyone are you ready to face the music?"
Buffy just smiles and nods leading Clark out the door. He's back her family is in good hands and growing and soon she'll be starting a family of her own marrying the man she loves. They found each other on Earth and started a life together. They'll be ready for whatever the future might bring down on them.
**THE END**
End file.
| fanfiction |
the age - adjusted incidence of female thyroid cancer from 2005 to 2009 was 17.3 per 100,000 , making it the 5th leading cancer diagnosis among women according to the national cancer institute 's surveillance , epidemiology , and end results ( seer ) program .
recent reports estimate that thyroid cancer incidence has been increasing significantly at an average annual rate of 6.6% per year since 1998 . from 2010 to 2012 , 113,690 new cases of thyroid cancer are expected to be diagnosed among us women alone [ 35 ] .
thyroid cancer is not only one of the leading types of cancer among women ; it is also one of the most survivable with current 5-year relative survival rates as high as 98% .
the high incidence of thyroid cancer combined with its high survival makes it one of the most prevalent cancers in the country among women , contributing an estimated 6% ( n = 376,969 ) to the total female cancer prevalence as of january 1 , 2009 .
the gender , age , race / ethnic , and histological patterns among individuals diagnosed with thyroid cancer have been studied extensively [ 1 , 615 ] .
the association of geographic location and socioeconomic status ( ses ) with the incidence of thyroid cancer is not well studied , but evidence suggests that incidence rates vary by seer registry [ 7 , 12 , 13 ] and that individuals who live in areas with high ses or with a high proportion of insured individuals are more likely to have a higher incidence of thyroid cancer [ 9 , 1618 ] .
there is also a growing body of literature evaluating the association of gender , age , race / ethnicity , treatment , and geography ( vis - - vis seer registry ) on long - term thyroid cancer survival [ 6 , 7 , 11 , 15 , 1921 ] .
although the literature is consistent with regard to the association of age and race / ethnicity with survival ( i.e. , younger women and non - hispanic whites are less likely to die from their disease [ 6 , 7 , 10 , 11 , 15 , 2022 ] ) , treatment effects on survival are less consistent .
some studies report significant survival advantages among patients who receive total thyroidectomy while others have found no survival benefits [ 22 , 23 ] when compared to patients who do not receive cancer - directed therapies such as surgery and radioactive iodine ( rai ) treatment .
the only study considering geographic variability in thyroid cancer survival found differential 5-year relative survival of anaplastic thyroid cancer by seer registry .
however , authors attributed this to regional differences in diagnostic and surveillance practices and did not report systematic differences between registries for differentiated thyroid cancer ( dtc ) , which is the most common type of thyroid cancer among young women .
another long - term outcome among young women diagnosed with thyroid cancer is the development of subsequent primary cancers [ 14 , 2431 ] . in the only study that evaluated the risks of subsequent primary cancers among women diagnosed under age 40
, ronckers and colleagues reported that patients diagnosed under the age of 40 had a 39% increased risk for developing a second malignancy , whereas women diagnosed at age 40 or older had only a 6% increased risk for developing a second malignancy . to our knowledge
, no studies to date have addressed competing risks of death and the association of geographic and socioeconomic factors with long - term survival among women diagnosed with dtc before the age of 40 .
this study describes long - term survival and expands previous research by exploring potential geographic and socioeconomic risk factors .
in addition , we explore long - term survival outcomes in the context of competing risks .
we used the national cancer institute 's seer database to obtain demographic , socioeconomic , geographic , tumor , treatment , and survival information necessary for analysis .
the initial sample was restricted to a cohort of women diagnosed from 1975 to 2009 with histologically confirmed papillary ( ptc ) or follicular ( ftc ) thyroid cancers residing in one of 9 seer registries , including the states of connecticut , hawaii , iowa , new mexico , and utah and the metropolitan areas of san francisco , detroit , seattle , and atlanta .
pre-1990 census county - level ses measures were not available in the seer database , and as a result when examining ses effects , we limited our analysis to women diagnosed from 1992 to 2009 .
this , however , allowed us to include three additional seer registries in the ses analysis : rural georgia and the metropolitan areas of san jose and los angeles ( seer 12 ) . following the methods of kosary and colleagues
, we used the international classification of disease for oncology , 3rd edition ( icd - o-3 ) , primary site definition for thyroid cancer ( c73.9 ) with the following ptc and ftc histology classifications : ( a ) ptc : m-8050 , m-8260 , m-8340 , m-8350 , m-8450 ; ( b ) ftc : m-8290 , m-8330-m-8332 .
because our study includes cases diagnosed prior to january 1 , 2001 , when the icd - o-3 coding schema was adopted by registries , we excluded 1,482 cases with histologies which were not valid prior to icd - o-3 implementation ( i.e. , histologies which did not exist prior to 2001 based on icd - o-2 ) .
incident ptc and ftc were limited to primary cancers which were either the first and only cancer diagnosed or the first of multiple cancers diagnosed for each individual .
subsequent primary cancers , which refer to new primary cancers that develop in a person with a history of cancer , were limited to cancers occurring after an initial primary diagnosis of thyroid cancer .
women who were diagnosed with thyroid cancer after other primary cancers were also excluded ( n = 3 , 228 ) .
other exclusions were women with unknown age ( n = 1 ) or unknown county of residence ( n = 3 ) at diagnosis , other or unknown race / ethnicity ( n = 557 ) , and incident cases that were only reported via death certificates or were diagnosed at autopsy ( n = 437 ) . with the above inclusion and exclusion criteria , a total of 36,295 women were eligible for the study .
however , women with missing or unknown surgical ( n = 137 ) or radiation ( n = 465 ) treatment or with missing or unknown stage ( n = 641 ) were also excluded for ease in interpretation of outcomes or because of small numbers . the primary outcomes for overall survival ( os ) and disease - specific survival ( dss ) were deaths due to any cause and deaths due to thyroid cancer , respectively .
cause of death was obtained using vital status and cause of death information from the seer database .
all thyroid cancer patients were followed from the date of diagnosis ( 19752009 ) to december 31 , 2009 .
deaths from thyroid cancer were defined using the seer cause - specific death classification system , which assumes that the cause - of - death coding systems are inherently prone to error , leading to misclassification and potential underreporting of causes of death due to cancer .
the seer cause - specific death classification system addresses this potential bias by recoding causes of death , accounting for tumor sequence ( i.e. , only one tumor or the first of subsequent tumors ) , site of the original cancer diagnosis , and comorbidities ( e.g. , aids and/or site - related diseases ) .
competing risk analysis was conducted using the same vital status and cause of death information to classify deaths from other ( nonthyroid ) cancers ( ocs , other cancer survival ) and deaths from all noncancer causes ( ncs , noncancer survival ) .
in addition to age at diagnosis and histological subtype , we evaluated survival outcomes by year of diagnosis , race / ethnicity , marital status , stage and tumor size at diagnosis , metropolitan / nonmetropolitan county designations , county - level ses , seer registry , and surgical and radiation treatment .
these variables have been previously linked to cancer incidence and survival [ 79 , 12 , 13 , 16 , 3537 ] .
race / ethnicity was defined using a combination of seer race and the hispanic identification algorithm ( nhia ) developed by the north american association of central cancer registries .
seer race and nhia codes were used to classify women into four major groups : non - hispanic white ( nh white ) , non - hispanic black ( nh black ) , hispanic , and asian / pacific islander ( api ) .
marital status at the time of diagnosis was defined as married ( married including common law ) , not married ( single , divorced , widowed , or never married ) , and unknown . methodologies for classifying tumor stage and size at diagnosis follow those reported by aschebrook - kilfoy et al . .
seer historic stage a was used to classify thyroid cancers by stage at diagnosis including local ( limited to thyroid gland ) , regional ( limited to thyroid gland and surrounding tissues ) , and distant ( metastatic or systemic ) stages .
tumor size for thyroid cancers was not collected by seer registries until 1983 and therefore , was only included in the seer 12 ses analysis for the cohort diagnosed from 1992 to 2009 .
tumor size was grouped into five categories : < 1 cm , 1.12.0 cm , 2.14.0 cm , 4.0 + cm , and unknown size .
geographic variables include seer registry and county - level metropolitan / nonmetropolitan designations based on 1974 , 1983 , 1993 , and 2003 rural - urban continuum codes ( ruccs ) developed by the us department of agriculture .
the rucc classification scheme delineates metropolitan counties based on the size of their metropolitan area population .
nonmetropolitan counties are delineated based on their level of urbanization and adjacency to metropolitan areas .
because rucc classification schemas changed over time , we assigned each cancer record a rucc designation based on the year of diagnosis : diagnosis year 1975 was assigned to rucc 1974 , diagnosis years 19761985 were assigned to rucc 1983 , diagnosis years 19861995 were assigned to rucc 1993 , and diagnosis years 19962009 were assigned to rucc 2003 .
all rucc codes were consolidated and grouped into the two major groups : metropolitan ( metro ) and nonmetropolitan ( nonmetro ) . women with unknown county were not assigned rucc designations and were , therefore , excluded from analyses ( n = 3 ) .
socioeconomic status ( ses ) was derived using county - level data from the 1990 and 2000 decennial censuses and defined as the percent of persons whose income was below the federal poverty level ( % pov ) .
the ses analysis was limited by the availability of census data as % pov is only available in seer*stat starting with the 1990 census .
percent poverty was evenly distributed in tertile groups , with higher categories representing higher ses ( or low - poverty areas ) .
radiation treatment may include internal rai ( i ) ablation therapy or external beam radiation .
women were grouped into two broad categories for surgical treatment with women who received lobectomies , partial / incomplete thyroidectomies , total thyroidectomies , and other nonspecific cancer - directed surgery classified as having surgical treatment and all others as not having surgical treatment .
radiation and surgical treatment variables were based on seer coding guidelines which define treatment as cancer - directed first - course treatment administered as either part of the patient 's treatment plan or administered up to 12 months following diagnosis .
we first evaluated demographic , geographic , tumor , treatment , and socioeconomic differences by comparing women residing in the seer 9 registries diagnosed with dtc from 1975 to 2009 who were under the age of 40 ( < 40 ) to women diagnosed with dtc at age 40 or older ( 40 + ) using chi - square tests of association for categorical variables and t - tests for continuous variables . to adjust for multiple comparisons and
because we expected that small differences between groups would be statistically significant due to large sample sizes , we set significance at probability levels of p < 0.0038 based on a bonferroni correction with 13 bivariate associations ( 0.05/13 = p < 0.0038 ) .
we generated the kaplan - meier survival curves to evaluate long - term os and dss by age group ( < 40 versus 40 + ) and histological subtype ( ptc versus ftc ) and used multivariate cox proportional hazards ( cox ph ) regression to estimate the relative risk ( hazard ratio , hr ) of death from any cause ( os ) and from thyroid cancer ( dss ) .
all models included year of diagnosis , histological subtype , stage at diagnosis , race / ethnicity , marital status , metro / non - metro county designations , radiation and surgical treatment , and subsequent primary tumors .
the second model was similar to the first but included seer registry to evaluate registry - specific differences in os and dss .
the third model was created specifically to evaluate the association of ses on os and dss and , therefore , was limited to thyroid cancers diagnosed from 1992 to 2009 in seer 12 . because tumor size for thyroid cancer was not collected until 1983 , tumor size was only included in the third model .
all women were followed from the time of diagnosis to the end of the study period ( december 31 , 2009 ) , until death or loss to follow up . in the os models ,
events were considered as deaths from any cause ( n = 4,007 ) , and women who were lost to follow up or still alive on december 31 , 2009 , were censored ( n = 31 , 046 ) . in the dss models , events were considered as deaths from thyroid cancer ( n = 1 , 025 ) as defined by seer cause - of - death recode . women who died of other causes ( n = 2 , 982 ) were censored as were those who were lost to follow up or still alive on december 31 , 2009 .
competing risks for other causes of death were analyzed using 19752009 seer 9 data and kaplan - meier survival curves .
for the ocs analysis , women who died from thyroid cancer or other noncancer causes , were lost to follow up , or were still alive at the end of the study period were censored . for the ncs analysis ,
women who died from cancer , were lost to follow up , or were still alive at the end of the study period were censored .
log - rank tests were conducted to evaluate differences in the kaplan - meier survival curves .
the proportional hazards assumption was assessed for age group , histology group , race / ethnicity , stage , marital status , metro / non - metro county designations , and surgery and radiation treatment .
all analyses were performed using sas statistical software , version 9.2 ( released march 2008 ) .
characteristics of women diagnosed with ptc and ftc from 1975 to 2009 by age group are presented in table 1 .
a total of 35,053 women met all inclusion criteria , of these 41.5% ( n = 14 , 540 ) were diagnosed before the age of 40 ( median age at diagnoses was 31 years ) and 58.5% ( n = 20 , 513 ) were diagnosed at the age of 40 or older ( median age at diagnosis was 52 years ) .
ptcs represented a large majority of cases ( 89% ) , and younger women were more likely to be diagnosed with ptc ( 90.9% ) than older women ( 87.2% ) .
seventy - five percent of female dtcs occurred among nh whites for both age groups .
younger women were less likely to be married at the time of diagnosis ( 58.3% ) as compared to older women ( 66.2% ) and were less likely to be diagnosed with subsequent primary cancers ( 6.4% ) than older women ( 12.4% ) .
stage , tumor size , and treatment differences between women < 40 and 40 + were also significant .
younger women were less likely to be diagnosed with localized disease ( 60.9% ) than older women ( 66.7% ) and were only slightly more likely to have surgery and/or radiation as part of their first course treatment ( 99.4% surgery , 45.8% radiation ) than older women ( 98.5% surgery , 43.9% radiation ) .
associations by type of surgery received ( lobectomy , thyroidectomy , or nonspecific surgery ) were assessed for a subsample of women diagnosed from 1992 to 2009 .
we found that younger women were more likely to have thyroidectomies ( 78.9% versus 74.4% ) whereas older women were more likely to have lobectomies ( 23.5% versus 20.2% ) ( results not shown ) .
geographic distributions varied significantly by age group , with san francisco - oakland , iowa , atlanta , and utah registries contributing more younger cases than older cases , while connecticut and detroit contributed more older cases than younger cases .
younger women were slightly more likely to reside in metro counties ( 89.4% ) when compared to older women ( 88.0% ) .
younger women were less likely to live in high - poverty counties ( lowest ses tertile ) ( 14.0% ) as compared to older women ( 15.7% ) .
as expected , more deaths were observed for older women ( 17.6% ) than younger women ( 2.8% ) .
median follow - up time for women < 40 was approximately 11 years and median follow - up time for women 40 + was shorter at just over 7 years .
log - rank tests revealed significant survival differences between age groups for both ptc and ftc ( p < 0.001 ) ( figure 1 ) .
younger women consistently showed better os and dss than older women . to test for proportional hazards ,
an interaction term between time and key variables was included in the os and dss models , including age group , histologic group , race , stage , marital status , metro / non - metro , surgery , radiation , and subsequent cancers . the interaction between time and age group ( < 40 and 40 + ) was significant ( p < 0.0001 ) , and thus we stratified all multivariate cox ph regression models by age group .
no other interactions were significant , indicating that proportional hazards assumptions were met for all other variables in our analysis .
we found that age at diagnosis modified many of the hrs for death in the os model as significance and magnitude varied by age group ( table 2 ) .
unlike older women , differences in os between women who were diagnosed at regional stage and women diagnosed at localized stage were not statistically different in the < 40 age group .
the difference between distant stage and localized stage was significant for both age groups , but was substantially lower in women < 40 ( hr = 1.96 , 95% ci 1.233.07 ) as compared to women 40 + ( hr = 4.96 , 95% ci 4.405.59 ) . nh black women had a significantly higher risk of death as compared to nh white women in both age groups .
however , in younger women , the racial disparity was larger as nh black women had double the hazard rate of their nh white counterparts ( hr = 2.04 , 95% ci 1.452.87 ; 40 + hr = 1.21 , 95% ci 1.071.37 ) .
the risk for unmarried women as compared to married women was also higher in both age groups , although the effect size was smaller for women < 40 ( hr = 1.26 , 95% 1.031.54 ) as compared to women 40 + ( hr = 2.14 , 95% ci 2.002.30 ) .
younger women who did not have surgery had 3.65 times the hazard rate of death ( 95% ci 1.1411.72 ) as compared to women in the same age group who had surgery , and again , the magnitude of the association for younger women was smaller when compared to older women ( hr = 4.97 , 95% ci 4.175.93 ) .
women < 40 who were diagnosed with subsequent primary cancers had 4.63 times the risk of death ( 95% ci 3.765.71 ) than women with only one primary cancer of the thyroid .
this is nearly 2.8 times higher than the hr for women who were diagnosed at age 40 and older ( hr = 1.67 , 95% ci 1.551.80 ) .
interestingly , women who did not have radiation as part of their first - course treatment did not have a higher risk of death , and this was consistent for both age groups .
there were substantially fewer deaths from thyroid cancer among younger women ( n = 63 , 0.4% ) than older women ( n = 962 , 4.7% ) ( table 2 ) .
histological subtype , race / ethnicity , marital status , and subsequent primary cancers were not significantly associated with thyroid cancer deaths in women < 40 . however ,
similar to older women , the effect of distant stage at diagnosis is much more pronounced ( hr = 7.8 , 95% 3.9816.07 ) for dss than it was for os .
radiation treatment remains insignificant for women < 40 , but the effect of not having surgery was substantially larger for dss as younger women who did not have surgery were 15 times more likely to die from thyroid cancer than women who had surgery ( hr = 15.14 , 95% ci 3.3069.49 ) . after controlling for a number of potential risk factors , geographic differences in survival
these women had a 20% greater risk of death from any cause as compared to women who lived in metro areas ( hr = 1.20 , 95% ci 1.091.32 ) ( results not shown ) . when we evaluated registry - specific differences in os and dss between younger and older women , we found strong , significant differences between age groups for all registries as younger women were consistently and significantly at lower risk of death as compared to older women ( results not shown ) .
we found little variation in hrs across registries after controlling for other risk factors ( results not shown ) .
high county - level poverty ( tertile 1 , low ses ) was only a significant risk factor for os among older women , conferring a 24% increased risk of death as compared to women living in counties with the lowest poverty levels ( tertile 3 , high ses ) ( hr = 1.24 , 95% ci 1.111.38 ) ( table 3 ) .
area - based poverty was not a significant risk factor for young women diagnosed with thyroid cancer for both os and dss .
log - rank tests for , kaplan - meier survival curves for ocs and ncs revealed significant survival differences between age groups ( p < 0.001 ) as the < 40 group experienced significantly better survival outcomes for both ocs and ncs ( results not shown ) .
competing risk analysis revealed significantly greater race / ethnic disparities in the ncs model as compared to what we found in the os model ( figure 2 ) .
disparities were more pronounced for ncs among young nh black women in both age groups ( < 40 hr = 3.36 , 95% ci 2.175.22 ; 40 + hr = 1.44 , 95% ci 1.241.69 ) .
we also found elevated risks for ncs among young apis ( hr = 1.82 , 95% ci 1.142.88 ) as compared to nh whites , which did not exist in os and dss models . the distribution of causes of death by age group is described in table 4 .
the largest percentage of deaths were due to non - cancer - related causes , namely , heart disease ( < 40 21.6% ; 40 + 37.1% ) .
although younger women in our study were less likely to be diagnosed with subsequent cancers ( table 2 ) , they had a larger percentage of deaths due to other types of cancers ( n = 113 , 27.8% ) as compared to older women ( n = 648 , 18.0% ) .
this finding persisted in our multivariate ocs model as being diagnosed with a subsequent primary cancer was the only factor that was significantly associated with deaths from other cancer causes among young women ( results not shown ) .
rising incidence trends in thyroid cancer and disparities with respect to age and gender have gained considerable attention in recent years [ 35 , 41 , 42 ] , leading to a growing number of investigations into prognostic clinical and epidemiological determinants of survival from the disease [ 6 , 11 , 15 , 20 , 22 ] .
this study expands previous research by first describing the long - term survival of women diagnosed with dtc under the age of 40 and exploring potential geographic and socioeconomic risk factors
. then we explore long - term survival outcomes in the context of competing risks . the use of 40 as the age cutoff is a recognized departure from previous thyroid studies [ 6 , 11 , 14 , 29 , 31 , 43 , 44 ] , save ronckers et al . ; however , there is limited consistency in age grouping across studies .
furthermore , we found compelling statistical evidence vis - - vis effect modification , which suggests that factors associated with thyroid cancer survival affect women differently when they are diagnosed under the age of 40 as compared to women who are diagnosed at age 40 and older .
however , none examined how age at diagnosis might modify stage - specific survival outcomes . in our study , we found that even after controlling for histological subtype and other key demographic and clinical factors , young women with regional stage disease were not significantly different from women with localized disease in terms of thyroid cancer survival .
this was not true for women who were diagnosed with regional disease at age 40 and older .
we also found that although younger women with distant - stage thyroid cancer were nearly eight times more likely to die from their disease than women of the same age diagnosed with localized disease , the association of late stage diagnosis among older women was much more pronounced , conferring a nearly 20-fold increase in risk for thyroid cancer death .
this is consistent with known age disparities in thyroid cancer survival which led the american joint committee on cancer to incorporate age as a determining factor in the staging of thyroid cancer ( i.e. , women diagnosed under the age of 45 were assumed to have early stage disease ) .
this has been criticized for often leading to systematic bias in stage - related outcomes . however ,
this potential source of bias was not a problem in our study because we used seer historic stage a to define stage at diagnosis , which does not follow ajcc age - specific staging guidelines .
since staging methodologies are not likely to account for this finding , our results suggest that either younger women may be better equipped to fight their cancer biologically through more robust immune systems or financially through better access to healthcare or that older women have more aggressive tumors which are not adequately captured in the seer staging or morphology coding systems .
aggressive forms of thyroid cancer are often measured histologically ( e.g. , anaplastic or medullary thyroid cancers ) .
our study did not include anaplastic or medullary thyroid cancers which are often more fatal and occur in older women .
aggressive forms of thyroid cancer may also be measured with other tumor features including size , extension , nodal involvement , or multifocal attributes .
we were limited in our ability to account for other tumor features in our study because of the inconsistency in how these features were reported in seer from 1975 to 2009 and tumor size was not recorded for thyroid cancer in seer until 1983 .
however , we may have indirectly accounted for tumor size by using the seer staging system , which includes tumor size in its algorithm
. future research may explore these additional risk factors as well as account for more aggressive forms of papillary thyroid cancers ( e.g. , diffuse sclerosing and tall cell variants ) on the risk of thyroid cancer deaths and use a shorter diagnostic time period when these variables were consistently recorded ( e.g. , 19882009 ) .
our study also identified additional risk factors which were not examined in previous studies , namely , marital status and the diagnosis of subsequent cancers .
it is well established that being married confers a survival benefit for many illnesses , including cancer [ 36 , 37 , 48 ] .
the interesting aspect of marital status in our study , however , is that not being married seems to have a larger , negative association among women who were diagnosed after the age of 40 .
the reason for this finding is not clear but may point to social factors that likely affect older women in different ways ( i.e. , the absence of social support in combination with competing demands of career and children ) .
previous studies have found that younger women have an increased risk of subsequent primary cancers when compared to older women [ 14 , 2431 ] .
we found that women diagnosed at age 40 or older were more likely to be diagnosed with subsequent cancers than women diagnosed before age 40 in our bivariate analysis .
the difference between our study and others is likely due to differences in the age cut points .
our multivariate analysis , in fact , showed that the diagnosis of subsequent cancers was significantly associated with poorer overall survival among young women , conferring a nearly 5-fold increase in risk of death from any cause .
our study further showed that the diagnosis of subsequent cancers was the only significant risk factor for other ( nonthyroid ) cancer deaths , ceteris paribus .
although it is reasonable to hypothesize that women were in fact dying from their subsequent cancer , our study did not explore this relationship . the lack of other significant associations could also be a result of small numbers as only 0.8% of women who were diagnosed with thyroid cancer before the age of 40 died from another cancer and only 3.2% of women who were diagnosed with thyroid cancer at age 40 or older died from other cancers .
however , this may also suggest that there may be other unmeasured and potentially confounding risk factors that were not accounted for in our study ( e.g. , comorbidities , family history of cancer , insurance status , healthcare access , etc ) . although we failed to find systematic geographic variations and ses effects on survival in younger women , we know of no other study to date that has evaluated the simultaneous effects of these variables in addition to age and other prognostic factors on thyroid cancer survival .
we consider these findings as preliminary because we used seer registry as a proxy for geography and county - level poverty as a proxy for individual - level ses .
our data are also limited in terms of geographic / demographic scope ( i.e. , seer 12 ) and time ( i.e. , 19922009 ) , which limits the generalizability of our findings .
nevertheless , all registries showed a substantial decrease in risk of death in younger women as compared to older women after controlling for other known risk factors .
therefore , we suggest that despite potential regional / geographic differences in healthcare utilization and access , age remains one of the strongest prognostic factors of thyroid cancer survival . future research should attempt to describe geographic and ses effects using more precise measures including more granular geographic levels and ses at the individual level .
previous reports considering racial disparities in thyroid cancer survival are mixed [ 10 , 15 ] .
although hollenbeak et al . reported that african americans have significantly poorer survival from thyroid cancer as compared to whites , they attributed the higher risk to higher rates of anaplastic and follicular thyroid cancer types and larger tumors .
yu and colleagues found that for papillary thyroid cancers , blacks had slightly lower observed 5-year survival ( 91.6% ) when compared to other race / ethnicity groups which had survival rates between 94% and 95% .
however , yu et al . did not use multivariate methods to control for potential risk factors . in our study
, we found that while substantial racial disparities in long - term overall survival exist between non - hispanic white and non - hispanic black women at any age , the racial disparities were much more pronounced among young women and for other ( noncancer ) causes of death .
the racial disparities for noncancer causes of death were also found among young asian / pacific islander women .
these findings provide some evidence to suggest that the racial disparities in survival after thyroid cancer are due to competing risks from comorbid conditions ( e.g. , heart disease ) , which tend to be higher in minority populations .
unfortunately , the low number of deaths from thyroid cancer , particularly for those under the age of 40 , leads to poorer precision in the models and wide confidence intervals .
our findings may also have limited generalizability to the larger us population as the seer 9 and seer 12 registries represent approximately 10% and 12% [ 49 , 50 ] of the us population , respectively .
and although seer registries are geographically diverse , populations within their catchment area may come from more urban areas and have a larger proportion of foreign - born residents .
another limitation of our study was our inability to control for insurance status , which has been associated with cancer incidence [ 9 , 16 , 17 ] , early detection [ 5255 ] , and survival outcomes [ 5658 ] .
a final caveat to our findings is our inability to control for the entire spectrum of treatment protocols ( e.g. , chemotherapy , hormone treatment , radiation dosing , etc . ) as these data were not available in the seer database .
future research might include a broader range of treatment modalities and protocols to assess long - term survival outcomes .
despite the high overall survival rate for thyroid cancer , there remains significant variability in long - term survival outcomes among young women who are diagnosed with this prevalent disease before the age of 40 .
this study provides strong evidence that age at diagnosis remains one of the strongest prognostic factors for thyroid cancer survival .
based on our analysis of competing risks , we found that women who were diagnosed with thyroid cancer at any age were more likely to die from other causes , including other cancers , suggesting that young , female thyroid cancer survivors may benefit from more directed efforts to ensure that they receive effective care for comorbid conditions including heart disease and multiple primary cancers to reduce mortality from other causes . | pubmed |
Pier Palma da Fermo 15th century was an Italian painter in the provinces of Fermo and Macerata. He painted a venerated image 1475 of the Madonna della Misericordia for the church of the Madonna della Misericordia, Petriolo. The municipality of Monte Urano restored his fresco of the Madonna delle Nevi.
References
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Category:Year of death unknown
Category:Italian male painters
Category:15th-century Italian painters
Category:Gothic painters | wikipedia |
One Piece 1. Chapter 1
**Chapitre 1 : Première rencontre**
Je courais aussi vite que possible, comme si ma vie en dépendait. En fait, ma vie en dépendait vraiment. Je me retrouvais sur la plage, piégée, et je percevais les bruits de pas de mes poursuivants qui se rapprochaient. Après quelques hésitations, je décidais de fuir par la mer, mais comment ? J'avais diverses options mais je ne voulais pas attirer l'attention, alors j'entrai le plus rapidement possible dans l'eau et dès que je pus, je plongeai et nageai à vive allure. Je disparus en un instant, car sous l'eau j'avais la capacité de me déplacer aussi vite qu'un homme-poisson ce qui en aurait étonné plus d'un, vu que je détiens un fruit du démon. Oui, aussi surprenant que cela puisse paraître, je ne coulais pas telle une enclume comme les autres mangeurs de fruit du démon. Bien sûr, personne ne le savait et je devais donc faire très attention à ce que je faisais. Malgré tout, je ne pouvais pas non plus rester des heures sous l'eau, je n'étais pas un homme-poisson justement. De plus, il y avait les monstres marins ils ne me faisaient pas peur, je pouvais me défendre, mais bon quand même faut pas non plus tenter le diable. Au bout d'une heure de nage intensive, je repérai une petite embarcation. Je me positionnai dessous et réfléchis : cette embarcation était si petite qu'il ne devait pas y avoir plus d'une personne à l'intérieur, pour autant, elle ne semblait pas être une épave, et en y regardant de plus près, elle ressemblait à un cercueil. Qu'à cela ne tienne, ce ne serait pas mon premier cadavre loin de là, je pourrais toujours monter dessus et m'en servir comme embarcation jusqu'à la prochaine île, il ne m'en aurait pas causé grief. Je décidai alors de remonter vers le cercueil en mettant en berne tous mes pouvoirs pour paraître 'normale', au cas où ce ne soit pas un cercueil, et qu'il y ait bien quelqu'un là-haut.
J'agrippai le bois et me hissai sur ce qui était bien un bateau. Je rigolai intérieurement : _qui pouvait bien avoir un bateau ressemblant à un cercueil ?_ Là, je me trouvais à l'arrière, devant moi se trouvait un grand fauteuil et à l'avant, on pouvait voir deux lumières allumées, des bougies. Je me déplaçais doucement et m'aperçus que l'homme avait dans son dos une épée qui me disait quelque chose, mais je ne me souvenais plus où je l'avais vue et en fait ce n'était pas mon problème immédiat.
Quelle ne fut pas ma surprise quand je découvris qui se trouvait là ! D'un coup je me rappelai où j'avais vu l'épée et avec qui : lui.
— Hum, dit-il.
— Oui, répondis-je.
— Qui es-tu ?
— Hinata et vous ?
— Mihawk. Que fais-tu ici ?
— Je suis désolée de vous déranger, monsieur Mihawk, mais j'étais sur un bateau pirate et ils ont décidé que je leur servirais à rien, vu mon corps, alors ils m'ont jeté à la mer. J'ai nagé et je suis tombée sur vous. S'il vous plaît, veuillez me garder jusqu'à la prochaine île, je me ferai toute petite, et vous ne me verrez pas, je resterai derrière vous.
— Hum ! Fais comme tu veux, moi je dors.
— Merci monsieur.
— Attends !
— …
— Viens dormir sur mes genoux sinon tu vas attraper froid.
— Merci monsieur.
Je m'assis sur lui, et m'installai confortablement pour m'endormir. Lui s'était déjà rendormi. Je n'étais pas dupe, je savais qu'on ne surnommait pas cet homme 'Œil de faucon' uniquement pour la forme de ces yeux, mais aussi parce qu'il savait très bien comprendre les gens. Lui non plus n'était pas dupe, mais malgré tout cet homme avait accepté de me garder à ses côtés. La dernière fois que je l'avais vu, je l'avais trouvé froid et distant. Mais peut-être n'était-il pas sans cœur comme on pourrait le penser au premier coup d'œil, ou comme le décrivent les rumeurs. De toute façon c'est souvent la peur et la jalousie qui les fondent, mais pas la vérité, ça je le savais bien. Malgré tout, même s'il n'avait pas tout avalé, il avait certainement considéré certains détails comme vrais. En effet, il avait bien dû remarquer, à l'évocation de mon exclusion par les pirates, que mon corps ne jouait pas en ma faveur en leur sein. Car même si j'avais 28 ans, mon corps lui n'avait pas bougé depuis mes dix ans. En y repensant, c'est sûrement pour cela qu'il m'a gardée et qu'il m'a proposé de me prendre sur ses genoux, il devait penser que j'avais à peine dix ans aussi, je n'allais pas le contredire. Même les gens les plus froids n'abandonnent pas les enfants en plein milieu de la mer.
2. Chapter 2
Bonjour à tous. Tous d'abord merci à vous de me lire.
Je tiens à souligner certains détails :
J'ai écrit cette histoire il y a plus de deux ans. Il s'agit de ma première fiction. Donc certains évènements ou personnages ne correspondent pas aux personnages ou évènements actuels. J'ai également pris des libertés sur les caractères des personnages.
Je rappele que cette fiction est vraiment pour les plus de 16 ans voir 18 ans. Au début elle peut paraitre mignonne mais il y a plein de lemons et autres scènes bien explicites. Les premiers chapitres sont courts mais avec le temps ils seront bien plus longs.
Sinon encore un grand merci à vous de me lire et j'espère que la suite vous plaira.
**Chapitre 2 : La Tempête **
Alors que nous naviguions paisiblement depuis quelques heures, le vent commença à se lever et une tempête arriva sur nous. Je me réveillai en sursaut alors que Mihawk dormait encore.
C'est à cet instant que la foudre tomba sur le bateau et brisa le mât. Je sautai à l'eau mais mon compagnon de voyage prit le mât sur la tête et sombra dans les flots avec le bateau. Je me dépêchai d'aller le récupérer sous l'eau pour ensuite nous éloigner de l'épave.
En remontant à la surface avec mon 'paquet' dans les bras, je vis un morceau du bateau flotter. Je hissai mon compagnon sur ce radeau de fortune puis je grimpai sur le bout de bois. Le morceau été assez grand pour nous accueillir.
Mon sauveur était inconscient, je pouvais donc en profiter pour me servir de mes pouvoirs et nous protéger de la tempête et des monstres marins. Je décidai de rester éveillée le plus longtemps possible. La tempête faisait encore rage quand on atteignit enfin une plage déserte.
Dès qu'on eut pied, je nous trainais jusqu'à la plage et regardais autour de nous pour nous trouver un abri, malheureusement je ne voyais pas très loin du fait de la tempête.
Aussi, après m'être assurée que Mihawk respirait toujours bien, je partis vite explorer le coin. À quelques mètres sur la plage, quelle ne fut pas ma stupeur quand je découvris deux corps allongés devant moi : deux hommes à ce qu'il paraissait, l'un blond, l'autre aux cheveux verts. Je décidai de remonter la plage après avoir vérifié que les deux hommes étaient bien vivants. À une cinquantaine de mètres de là, se trouvait une falaise et à mon grand étonnement mais aussi plaisir, je vis un petit abri dans la roche devant moi, très petit certes, mais si on se serrait bien on pouvait tous rentrer.
Je me mis donc en route et réfléchis à la meilleure disposition de nos corps pour que tout le monde soit le mieux protégé possible, sachant que nous étions déjà tous bien trempés et que je ne voulais pas qu'on attrape encore plus froid. Il était vraiment petit cet abris, néanmoins nous pouvions y entrer mais uniquement en position assise.
J'allais d'abord chercher le blond car il était grand et fin je l'asseyais au centre en évitant de le blesser et je vis quelques égratignures mais rien de très méchant. Il avait quand même dû être très secoué dans les courants marins, tout comme son ami que je plaçais à sa droite. Je le penchais un peu pour que sa tête retombe sur l'épaule de son compagnon.
Ça risquait de ne pas lui plaire, mais il accepterait bien avec le froid qu'il faisait : rien de tel que les rapprochements physiques pour se réchauffer ! Je ne savais pas pour combien de temps on était là alors il fallait faire au mieux. Un jour peut-être il me remercierait d'avoir fait ça, mais même s'il le pensait je doutais qu'il le ferait, il paraissait être un de ses hommes si fier qu'ils ne disent pas souvent ce qu'ils pensent et je suis quelqu'un qui juge bien les gens d'habitude.
Puis j'allais chercher Mihawk que je plaçais à la gauche du blond dans la même position que le gars de droite. Tous les deux étaient plus musclés que le blond, sûrement dû à un entraînement pour l'art de l'épée car tous les deux en portaient : mon compagnon en avait une et l'autre homme, trois. Malgré le tourbillon des vagues, elles avaient suivi, comme faisant partie de leur corps.
Je guéris leurs blessures, celles qui me paraissaient les plus méchantes, pour leur confort. Mais pas toutes non plus, pour qu'ils ne se posent pas trop de question à mon sujet. Je me blottis contre le blond, j'écartai ses jambes et m'installai entre elles, puis repliai ses bras sur moi et m'endormie pour reprendre des forces, mais aussi pour attendre la fin de la tempête.
3. Chapter 3
**Chapitre 3 : Deuxième rencontre **
Je ne sais pas combien de temps passa avant que je ne me réveille, mais à ce moment-là je sentais qu'ils m'observaient sans pour autant oser bouger. Au début, je ne comprenais pas pourquoi, alors sans qu'ils s'en rendent compte, je me permis de capter leurs pensées et ressentis deux vagues d'émotions.
La première était un malaise que je pensais lié à la position que je leur avais donné, mais en ouvrant les yeux je compris que c'était encore autre chose. Les mains du blond étaient toujours sur moi comme au moment de m'endormir, seulement à présent elles n'étaient plus seules. En effet les deux hommes qui nous entouraient avaient bougés, sûrement à cause du froid, et s'étaient rapprochés de nous dans leur sommeil. Ils avaient pivoté vers le blond et l'avaient pris dans leurs bras pour se réchauffer le plus possible, ce qui donnait à peu près la configuration suivante : les deux épéistes avaient une de leurs mains sur celles du blond posées sur mon torse. Leur autre main devait se trouver dans son dos. Leur torse et leur tête penchaient vers lui et leurs jambes touchaient les siennes de part et d'autre.
La seconde me parvint amplifié d'un malaise bien plus profond car cette fois-ci, ils étaient gênés par leur position mais également par leurs pensées : était-ce un hasard, mais ils avaient rêvé pendant leur perte de connaissance et les protagonistes de leurs rêves étaient là, dans leurs bras. Moi, je savais que ces rêves n'avaient rien avoir avec le hasard, ils provenaient d'un de mes nombreux pouvoirs. Mais comment pouvais-je savoir qu'ils se connaissaient ces trois-là ! C'est du moins ce que j'ai compris en accédant à leurs rêves. Je commençai par Mihawk et découvris que l'homme aux cheveux vert avait passé deux ans avec lui, et qu'il lui avait enseigné tout ce qu'il savait et bien sûr il avait rêvé de lui. Le blond et son compagnon avaient rêvé l'un de l'autre. Je compris vite la situation car en regardant celui du blond je savais que ça allait être dur pour qu'il accepte ce qu'il avait vu, surtout quand on connaît son penchant pour la gente féminine. Mais je ne fus pas surprise. Une longue discussion s'imposait avec lui et, en y réfléchissant, avec les deux autres aussi je pense. Malgré tout, le blond n'était pas trop en colère par rapport à ce rapprochement et cela me soulagea. Après avoir pris en compte à peu près tout ce que je devais savoir d'eux, je me décidai à prendre la parole car ce silence pesant allait les irriter et, comme la tempête n'avait pas encore cessé, je ne voulais pas me retrouver avec ces trois-là en colère, étant donné leur carrure. Je devais réfléchir à ce que j'allais faire et en révéler le moins possible sur moi.
— Hum, excusez-moi ! Dis-je sur un ton embêté et timide, mais assez fort pour qu'ils m'entendent, qu'ils sortent de leur torpeur et qui donne l'impression de les réveiller.
Cela fonctionna et ils dégagèrent leur étreinte du blond. Les trois se détendirent et j'entendis :
— De quoi t'excuses-tu ? me répondit le blond d'un ton calme et posé. Il reprit :
— C'est plutôt à nous de nous excuser, tu es une jeune fille et nous n'aurions pas dû dormir avec toi comme ça. De plus je ne me souviens plus de ce qui s'est passé mais merci à celui qui a fait ça.
— Ce n'est pas moi, répondit son compagnon.
— Ni moi, dit le mien.
Je sentais alors les yeux se braquer sur moi, mais un doute s'insinuait en eux : comment une jeune fille de dix ans avait-elle pu les bouger seule jusqu'ici ? Je dus me résoudre à répondre, par un mensonge bien sûr, entremêlé d'une certaine vérité comme d'habitude.
— Une montée d'adrénaline, dis-je sur le ton de l'humour, comme si cela expliquait tout.
Je sentais bien que cette explication ne suffirait pas. Ils n'avaient pas l'air bien bavard, et visiblement ils attendaient après moi pour faire la conversation. Pas cool les gars !
— Eh bien pour faire simple, Mihawk et moi-même nous étions sur son bateau quand la foudre a coupé le mât en deux, j'ai eu la chance de me réveiller juste à temps pour ne pas me prendre le mât sur la tête contrairement à Mihawk. Le bateau a été détruit et on s'est retrouvé sous l'eau. L'adrénaline sûrement ou l'instinct de survie, qui sait ? Dans tous les cas, j'ai nagé vers Mihawk, inconscient, et l'ai ramené à la surface. Non loin, se trouvait une grosse partie du bateau qui flottait, je nous ai hissés dessus et on a dérivé jusqu'ici grâce aux remous. C'est en cherchant un endroit pour nous abriter que je vous ai découverts et je vous ai trainés ici. Afin que nous nous réchauffions plus vite, je me suis permis de nous installer en position assise, vos têtes messieurs – dis-je en regardant les deux hommes aux épées – posées de part et d'autre de votre tête, dis-je cette fois en m'adressant au blond. Pour le reste, dis-je dans un grand sourire, peut-être s'agissait-il d'instinct de survie, tout comme pour moi ? Et sinon vous, vous êtes arrivés comment ?
Bien joué ma fille, pensais-je. Tu as trouvé une bonne version des faits enlevant tout ce qui pouvait paraître bizarre et qui pouvait soulever des questions. À présent, écoutons ce qu'ils ont à nous dire. Je leur laissais du temps à chacun pour tout assimiler, même si ça paraissait impressionnant pour une fille de dix ans, ça pouvait se tenir et puis pourquoi leur mentir, je les avais aidés, ils avaient bien droit à une explication, non ? Le blond engagea à nouveau la discussion :
— Euh… Ok. Impressionnant, j'avoue, mais merci pour ton aide, tu nous as sauvé la vie, je pense.
Il semblait chercher l'appui de son compagnon, mais tout ce que j'entendis fut un grognement de la part des deux autres. Ça devait être leur façon de dire merci, mais personne ne s'en formalisa. La pluie continuait de tomber, mais plus faiblement, ce qui fait que nous devions rester encore un peu dans cette position. Aussi ne valait-il pas mieux ne pas relever ce qui semblait être de l'impolitesse et laisser faire au fond ils avaient grogné, c'était déjà ça. Le blond reprit :
— Par où commencer ? Tout d'abord les présentations : moi c'est Sanji, cuisinier sur un bateau pirate et lui là, c'est marimo.
— Eh ! Comment ça marimo ? Moi c'est Zoro, sale love cook, répondit son compagnon.
— Et toi ? poursuivit Sanji comme si Zoro n'avait rien dit.
— Moi c'est Hinata. Bonjour Sanji, bonjour Zoro, ravie de vous connaître.
— Et moi, c'est Mihawk, mais tout le monde le sait déjà, non ?
Nous avons tous souris à cette remarque.
— Voilà, quand la tempête a commencé, nous étions sur notre bateau et une vague nous a projetés hors du pont. Après ça, black-out jusqu'à maintenant, dit Sanji.
— Je comprends, répondis-je.
— Une minute s'il te plaît. Ce que tu as dit tient la route, mais dis-moi comment on a échappé aux monstres marins et… dit Mihawk en s'adressant à moi.
— Sanji et Zoro leur ont échappé aussi, coupais-je rapidement. Nous avons tous eu de la chance et c'est ce qui compte ! Lui fis-je remarquer.
— Oui mais… fit Mihawk.
— Ça suffit ! Elle a raison. De plus, la pluie a cessé et le soleil refait son apparition. Allons explorer l'île et trouvons un endroit pour la nuit, termina Sanji.
Nous hochâmes tous la tête pour montrer notre accord. Moi, ça m'arrangeait, j'ai vite compris que Sanji serait un bon allié. Nous décidâmes de faire deux groupes : Sanji et moi d'un côté, les deux épéistes de l'autre. Au moment de se séparer, Zoro lança :
— Eh gamine ! Fais gaffe au love cook.
— Eh ! Mihawk, ne perds pas le marimo des yeux, avec son sens de l'orientation il est capable de se perdre sur son propre bateau, répliqua Sanji.
— URUSEI ! cria Zoro.
— Pff… s'amusa Sanji.
4. Chapter 4
Bonjour à tous,
Je vous remercie de me lire chaque semaine, et merci encore à ceux qui me laissent des commentaires. J'espère que ce chapitre vous plaira. C'est encore un petit chapitre qui amorce l'histoire. La semaine prochaine il y aura un chapitre plus long avec de l'action. Bye bonne lecture.
**Chapitre 4 : la première journée **
Cette île était vraiment petite, nous en avions fait le tour en à peine deux heures. On se retrouva rapidement au centre, devant une petite maison en bois dont l'état laissait à penser qu'il n'y avait plus personne depuis bien longtemps.
Quand les deux épéistes nous rejoignirent, nous entrâmes et découvrîmes une pièce unique dans laquelle on distinguait trois parties : à gauche un salon avec une cheminée, un divan, deux fauteuils, et une petite bibliothèque au milieu de la pièce, en face de la porte d'entrée, se trouvaient une table pour quatre et des chaises, et derrière contre le mur, des matelas – au moins, nous aurions de quoi dormir pour la nuit et sur la droite, on pouvait voir une cuisine rudimentaire mais acceptable pour Sanji, notre cuisinier. Les placards de la cuisine étaient vides, il faudrait donc aller cueillir des fruits et pécher du poisson pour le repas de midi. D'après Sanji, il devait être dix heures, ce qui nous laissait deux heures devant nous pour se réapprovisionner. On s'occuperait du reste plus tard. De plus, un soleil merveilleux nous réchauffait et nos habits étaient presque secs. L'inconvénient majeur était qu'il n'y avait pas de salle de bain ni d'affaires de rechange, il faudrait donc compter sur la mer et le soleil comme des alliés de choix pour le bain et le séchage.
En attendant midi, nous décidâmes de reformer les deux groupes pour partir nous ravitailler. Sanji et moi devions ramener tout ce qu'on pouvait trouver de comestible sur cette île : fruits, légumes, plantes. Pendant ce temps les deux escrimeurs devaient trouver de la viande et du poisson.
Après une demi-heure de marche, nous arrivâmes dans une clairière. Sanji fut ravi d'y trouver des herbes aromatiques, des fruits, ainsi que quelques légumes sauvages qui devaient être, d'après mon compagnon, les restes d'un potager qu'entretenaient les anciens propriétaires du cabanon.
Après un silence pesant, Sanji prit la parole :
— Hinata, loin de moi l'idée de te poser des questions indiscrètes, mais comment as-tu rencontré Mihawk et pourquoi l'as-tu suivi ?
Je réfléchis un moment. Devais-je lui dire la vérité ou plutôt lui servir le même mensonge qu'à Mihawk ? Je choisis de rester fidèle à mon histoire, un bon menteur ne change pas sa version des faits quoi qu'il en coûte, sinon il peut risquer gros. Après lui avoir expliqué que les pirates m'avaient jetée par-dessus bord et que Mihawk m'avait recueillie, Sanji me répondit :
— Eh bien ! Je n'aurais jamais cru qu'Œil-de-faucon soit si gentil, dit-il dans un grand sourire, amusé et moqueur.
— Je dois bien l'avouer, moi non plus ! Répondis-je.
— Et sinon tu viens d'où ? me demanda-t-il.
— Sanji ! Pourrait-on éviter ce genre de question s'il te plaît ? Ma vie n'a pas grand intérêt et je n'aime pas en parler. En revanche, toi, tu pourrais me dire comment tu t'y connais autant en herbes et en fruits comestibles, lui dis-je sur un ton plus posé.
— Désolé si je t'ai fâchée, je comprends et ne recommencerai plus. Pour te répondre, je suis cuisinier et c'est le '_b-a ba_' de la cuisine. Vois-tu, mon rêve est de trouver _All-Blue_, la mer légendaire où toutes les espèces de poissons coexistent. C'est pour cela que j'ai quitté mon restaurant pour devenir pirate.
— Wouaah ! Et tu crois qu'All-Blue est sur Grand Line ?
— Qui sait ? Je l'espère…
— Moi aussi ! Vous devez beaucoup voyager, ça doit être bien !?
— Oui, tu veux que je te raconte certains de nos voyages ?
— Oh oui ! Merci.
Et pendant que Sanji me racontait sa vie et ses voyages – ponctués de beaucoup de belles femmes, comme les deux qui vivaient avec eux sur le navire : Nami la navigatrice et Robin l'archéologue, et de fréquents combats avec Zoro qu'il surnommait _marimo_ ou bien pire parfois – je décidai de m'intéresser à ce qui pouvait bien se dire de l'autre côté de l'île car justement, depuis un bon moment ils n'avaient pas parlé, mais surtout je sentais un malaise chez Mihawk et j'avais le sentiment d'en être la cause. Oui, vous aviez compris : grâce à mes dons, je pouvais à la fois discuter avec mon compagnon et espionner les escrimeurs. J'avoue, je suis plutôt douée à ce petit jeu-là ! Bref, voici ce que j'entendis :
— Roronoa, faut qu'on parle d'une chose qui me gêne.
— Hmm ?
— Voilà, c'est Hinata, il y a un truc chez elle qui cloche, je la sens pas, elle cache quelque chose.
Il lui raconta notre rencontre et enchaîna :
— Voilà, je me demande comment une enfant de dix ans aussi chétive qu'elle peut : survivre en se faisant jeter d'un bateau en pleine nuit, en pleine mer, au milieu de monstres marins se retrouver sur un autre bateau échapper à une tempête et pour finir, nous porter tous jusqu'à l'abri ? Et tout ça, sans aucune égratignure. De plus, toutes nos plaies ou presque ont été guéries, j'en suis sûr ! Nous devrions avoir davantage de blessures : moi j'ai pris un mât sur la tête d'après elle et pourtant je me sens bien, pas une seule lésion apparente ! Même pour mon corps, c'est difficile à croire. Et ne réponds pas que c'est la chance, j'y crois pas ! Et quand bien même elle en aurait un peu, mais là…
Puis il réfléchit et ajouta :
— Toi et le cuistot, faites gaffe ! Je l'ai gardée avec moi car elle m'intrigue, mais là je le sens mal.
— Ok.
Ce furent les seuls mots de Zoro, mais je sentais que lui aussi était taraudé par cette énigme. Il fallait que je la joue serré. Heureusement pour moi, même s'il s'interrogeait, Sanji n'avait pas l'air aussi méfiant, pour l'instant du moins ! Je devais rester vigilante et le plus souvent possible avec lui.
Nous sommes revenus vers midi, tous ensemble, et au vu de nos récoltes, on pourrait tenir la journée. Pour le repas, Sanji nous prépara un lapin aux carottes sauvages. Après le repas, nous sommes restés assis autour de la table à discuter de la vie sur l'île en attendant que l'équipage des mugiwara arrive pour récupérer leurs nakamas. L'après-midi passa calmement, Sanji et moi avions rangé la maison et les deux épéistes partirent dehors faire des réserves de nourriture et s'entraîner à l'épée. Puis vint tranquillement le soir. Après un bon repas, on décida d'aller se coucher. La journée avait été longue et assez agitée, et personne ne se sentait la force de discuter. Ainsi, prétextant la fatigue et voulant éviter les questions embarrassantes, on décida tous – dans un commun accord tacite – d'aller au lit. Heureusement, il y avait quatre couchettes. On poussa la table et installa les matelas à terre côte à côte. Sanji et Mihawk me voulaient chacun à côté d'eux, pour des raisons qui leur étaient propres. Pour les contenter, je m'installai donc entre eux et Zoro se mit à côté de Sanji.
5. Chapter 5
Bonjour à tous,
Je vous remercie de me lire chaque semaine et de laisser des commentaires. Enfin un chapitre avec de l'action et des révélations. Les révélations continueront la semaine prochaine. Mais pas tout encore. J'espère que ça vous plaira. Je vous souhaite une bonne soirée et une bonne lecture à jeudi prochain.
Peacecraft31.
**Chapitre 5 : Le 15 du mois **
Je commençais à m'endormir quand j'entendis une voix au fond de moi :
— Eh ! Nous sommes le 15 aujourd'hui, c'est à moi de sortir.
— Apo, c'est toi ?! Mais qu… Déjà nous sommes le 15 du mois ! Attends ! Ne sors pas tout de suite s'il te plaît, il vaut mieux pas qu'ils te voient !
Eh oui, encore une chose que je dois leur cacher ! Je ne vis pas seule dans mon corps, nous sommes trois : moi, Hinata, avec un corps de dix ans Apocalypse dite Apo qui a un corps de 28 ans et est très belle et bien sûr Léna, une louve – oui, une louve,car je suis un loup garou**. **Nous sommes toutes les trois très différentes et mes « sœurs » n'aiment pas beaucoup les hommes, alors là, trois d'un coup ! Mon souci n'est pas ce qu'ils pourraient nous faire, mais plutôt ce que elles, elles pourraient bien leur faire !
— Apo ! Léna ! Écoutez-moi. Je vais sortir d'ici dès qu'ils dormiront. Je vais écrire un mot en expliquant de ne pas me rechercher, que je peux me débrouiller seule et que je reviendrai dans 24 heures environs. Il faudra juste qu'on bouge par rapport à eux si besoin. Et surtout, ils ne doivent pas nous voir !
— Ok, mais s'ils nous trouvent avant, je ne réponds de rien… !
— Hum ! Ça, on en discutera au moment voulu, ok ?
— … ok !
Nous attendions donc qu'ils s'endorment profondément mais avec tout ce qui s'est passé ces dernières 24 heures, je m'endormis également et commençai à rêver. Grosse erreur de ma part, car mon rêve devint cauchemar et j'émis de petits cris en bougeant allégrement, ce qui réveilla mes compagnons. Inquiet, Sanji me secoua, mais c'est Apo qui se manifesta. Et quand il me toucha, elle se jeta sur son cou, et d'une main ferme le serra.
— Si vous bougez, je lui brise la nuque, gronda-t-elle.
— Hinata ! C'est toi ? demanda Sanji, le visage pâle mêlé d'incompréhension.
— Non ! Moi c'est Apo, et aujourd'hui c'est à mon tour de sortir. Et pas de chance pour vous les gars car moi, j'aime tuer les hommes, dit-elle dans un sourire plein de dents tout en sensualité ! Alors un conseil : enlève ton bras de sur mon corps et peut-être que je répondrai à la demande d'Hinata d'épargner ta misérable vie d'homme.
Sanji retira ses mains et recula, mais Apo ne bougeait pas. Les deux épéistes assistaient à la scène sans un mot. Ils ne comprenaient pas vraiment ce qui se passait, de plus ils voyaient assez mal dans le noir et comprenaient juste que Sanji était en mauvaise posture. Puis Mihawk eut un déclic et précisa :
— Je connais cette voix ! dit Mihawk abasourdi tout en se rapprochant de Sanji pour mieux appréhender la situation.
— En effet, on s'est rencontré il y a trois ans au quartier général de Marine Ford. Aokiji ne m'a pas trop laissé le temps de te parler et de me présenter. Mais tu as une bonne mémoire.
— Peu de personnes ont l'habitude de me dire ce que tu m'as dit ce jour-là. C'est comme si tu avais lu en moi et que tu savais tout de moi. De plus, parler aussi ouvertement de moi à autrui, avec un ton aussi nonchalant – hum, j'avoue que ça m'a plu. Généralement, les gens ont tendance à me craindre, mais toi, j'avais plutôt l'air de t'amuser. Alors oui, ta voix m'a marqué.
— Tu m'amuses toujours autant à ce que je vois ! Je te l'ai dit, tout ce qui sort de la norme m'attire ! Comment va ton dernier copain ? prononça-t-elle dans un murmure presque sadique.
— Je n'en sais rien, dit-il impassible.
— Je vois, dit-elle comme prise au dépourvu mais sans le laisser paraître.
— Sinon, tu peux le lâcher ? demanda Mihawk en désignant Sanji de la tête.
— Oh ! Mais pas avant que vous m'ayez écoutée tous les trois, et surtout toi beau blond, fit-elle en le fixant profondément dans les yeux. Tu as vraiment l'air de t'inquiéter pour Hinata, mais sache qu'elle sait se défendre et dans tous les cas, Léna et moi sommes là pour intervenir. Hinata ta gueule ! Je leur dis ce que je veux et ne t'inquiète pas, je n'ai pas l'intention de le tuer, alors tiens-toi tranquille. Bien ! Par où commencer ? Je ne vais pas parler de nous, soyons clairs, néanmoins si on doit vivre ensemble, il faudra établir des règles. Le 15 de chaque mois, comme aujourd'hui, c'est moi qui sors et moi je ne vous veux pas dans les pattes. Donc, à chaque fois, j'irai me cacher pendant 24 heures environs et n'essayez pas de me retrouver, ok ? Les jours de pleine lune, c'est Léna qui sort et elle, vous ne voulez pas la rencontrer ni savoir qui elle est, ok ? Là aussi, on se dissimulera pendant trois jours, puis Hinata redeviendra le « maître de bord » et reviendra parmi vous, et là, tout ira bien, elle est plus cool avec les hommes.
Elle relâcha Sanji.
— On a souvent des cauchemars qui peuvent vous réveiller, mais là, interdiction de nous toucher, c'est bien clair ? Bien, on y va !
— Attends, dit Sanji, tout en s'asseyant sur sa couche et en se massant le cou.
Apo s'était déplacée et se trouvait à présent sur le seuil de la porte, les courbes de son corps mises en valeur par la lueur de la lune.
— Sanji, Hinata te fait dire qu'au moment opportun, elle t'aidera à comprendre ce qui s'est passé, notamment lors de ta première nuit ici. Elle précise aussi qu'à ma vue, tu pourrais défaillir, presque en mourir. Alors si tu veux un conseil, surveille bien ton nez, et tu pourras peut-être me regarder sans trop de risques…
Elle balaya les trois garçons du regard, et dit en souriant :
— Vous nous plaisez beaucoup tous les trois, alors ne nous quittez pas trop tôt, sinon on ne pourra plus s'amuser.
Puis nous sommes partis laissant les garçons, l'air médusé, et Sanji qui répétait d'un air absent : « Mon nez… Des risques… mais… ? » Mais qui pouvait être cette fille et comment pouvait-elle savoir ? Mihawk reprit la parole et le sortit de sa torpeur :
— Bien, retournons nous coucher, de toute façon on ne peut plus rien faire pour cette nuit, on réfléchira à tout ça demain, à tête reposée.
— Où…où l'as-tu rencontrée ? demanda Sanji en regardant la porte d'entrée, à présent fermée, où se trouvait Apo quelques secondes plus tôt.
— À Marine Ford, lors d'une de ces réunions ennuyeuses entre shichibukai.
— Et qu'a-t-elle voulu dire par comprendre ce qui m'était arrivé ? Et pour le reste aussi ? Je ne lui ai rien raconté ! Se questionna Sanji à voix haute.
— Je ne sais pas Sanji, dit Zoro, mais tu n'avais pas tort Mihawk, elle est louche… Tu as raison, allons-nous coucher et demain sera un autre jour, comme on dit. De plus, elle va chercher à nous éviter pendant au moins 24 heures.
— Ok. Bonne nuit à vous deux, fit Sanji toujours tourmenté par les derniers évènements et surtout par le magnifique corps de cette femme qu'il avait entraperçu sur le pas de la porte.
_« …t'aidera à comprendre ce qui s'est passé… …qu'à ma vue, tu pourrais défaillir… …surveille bien ton nez… …me regarder sans trop de risques… », _Tout ça se brouiller dans sa tête, mêlé de confusion et de perplexité. _Mais pourtant, je l'ai bien vue elle – Apo et son corps de rêve ! – alors, pourquoi n'ai-je pas saigné du nez comme d'habitude_, se demanda-t-il ?
Apo partit d'un pas rapide et décidé. Elle écouta la conversation dans le cabanon et se sentit soulagée que personne n'essaie de la suivre. Après une heure de marche elle trouva un abri dans un grand arbre. Elle monta dans les branches et se reposa. Mais elle avait faim, une faim comme elle les connaissait trop bien, elle savait ce qu'elle devait faire sinon elle retournerait au cabanon et les tueraient tous avant de les dévorer. Elle descendit de son arbre et se dirigea vers la plage, elle entra dans l'eau et nagea un long moment et tomba nez à nez avec un monstre marin. _Ça devrait me caler,_ pensa-t-elle ! Le monstre l'attaqua mais Apo se défendit. Elle lui donna un coup de poing dans la gueule avec toute la force qu'elle possédait, ce qui le déstabilisa. Mais ne voulant pas que ce combat s'éternise pour économiser ses forces, elle décida d'agir rapidement et efficacement. Elle se glissa sous le corps du monstre pour ne pas se faire repérer, localisa son cœur, fit apparaître une épée dans sa main et le transperça. Après avoir vérifié qu'il était mort, elle le dévora. Tout cela en quelques minutes.
Quand elle revint sur la plage, elle constata que la nuit se finissait et que le soleil n'allait pas tarder à se lever. Elle remonta sur son arbre en espérant qu'il n'y ait pas trop de monde aux alentours et qu'elle pourrait dormir tranquillement.
Vers 10 heures du matin, les garçons se réveillèrent. Sanji prépara un petit déjeuner à base de fruits. Personne ne parlait, et ça ne les dérangeait pas. Chacun d'eux plongea dans ses pensées, orientées d'abord vers la femme avec qui ils vivaient sur l'île puis vers les rêves de cette nuit. Autant ceux de leur première nuit ici pouvaient les avoir déstabilisés, autant ceux d'hier n'avaient rien à voir, ils étaient pires, d'une telle force, et d'une telle réalité : comme une envie qui ne les quittait plus. Ils avaient beau être des hommes, à cet instant précis chacun d'eux se considérait comme un animal et ça leur faisait peur… Ils cherchaient tous un moyen de s'isoler pour canaliser ces émotions qui les submergeaient.
— Hum ! Je pense qu'aujourd'hui je vais aller m'entraîner seul sur la plage pour parfaire mes techniques et aussi chasser et pêcher si besoin, fit Zoro, comme pour s'excuser de partir précipitamment.
— Tu n'as qu'à aller t'entraîner, tu en as plus besoin que moi. Moi, j'irai chasser et pêcher ce sera mieux. Moins on sera à bouger sur l'île, mieux ce sera pour tout le monde, expliqua Mihawk.
—En effet. Et même si ça me dérange de pas aller à sa rencontre, mieux vaut l'éviter en ce moment. Limitons donc nos déplacements ! Moi je resterai ici, j'ai de quoi m'occuper. Je sortirais juste pour me laver, répondit Sanji.
À cette dernière remarque, tout le monde rougit et baissa les yeux : leur imagination reprit de plus belle. Comment allaient-ils faire avec une tension sexuelle aussi palpable ? Chacun alla vaquer à ses occupations ils se retrouveraient à l'heure du repas, Sanji les appellerait quand tout serait prêt. Toutes leurs pensées étaient saturées d'images sexuelles. Cela n'arrivait pas souvent aux escrimeurs dont les capacités de concentration étaient habituellement de bons inhibiteurs de pensées, mais aujourd'hui, cela semblait ne pas fonctionner et c'était assez déroutant.
Après le repas, Sanji décida d'aller à la clairière pour ramasser quelques légumes et herbes aromatiques. Zoro, lui, opta pour une sieste, quant à Mihawk, il irait s'entraîner sur la plage. Sur le chemin vers la clairière, Sanji vit des animaux copuler un peu partout. _La saison des amours ou un virus dans l'air ?_ se dit-il en repensant à ses compagnons de fortune qui, comme lui, avaient cet air gêné, un peu ailleurs, le regard fuyant. Il trouvait ça bizarre mais ne comprenait pas ces comportements. Il finit par se demander si cela ne venait pas d'Apo, tout semblait coïncider avec son réveil cette nuit. _Non_, se dit-il. _Comment pourrait-elle… ?_
Apo venait de se réveiller, c'était le début de l'après-midi. Sa nuit avait été plutôt agitée et à présent, elle percevait les pensées emmêlées des garçons. Elle sentit également que les pensées de Sanji étaient tournées vers elle, et qu'elles étaient intimement troublées. Il faudrait faire particulièrement attention à lui car c'était une personne vraiment intelligente.
L'après-midi passa et le soir arriva. Alors que les garçons finissaient leur repas – ils avaient mangé tôt exceptionnellement – un cri féroce venant de la plage et résonnant sur toute l'île leur parvint.
La nuit tombait quand Apo ressentit une grande colère se diriger contre l'île. Elle essaya de la comprendre et d'aller vers elle, mais c'était assez difficile car on lui offrait une résistance incroyable. Puis d'un coup, elle comprit. Un monstre marin, une femelle : son compagnon était mort et elle voulait le venger ! _Sûrement mon repas de la veille,_ pensa Apo. Le monstre avançait vers l'île et se dirigea droit sur les garçons.
Postés sur le pas de la porte, armés et prêts à combattre, les trois hommes se retrouvèrent nez à nez avec un monstre marin. Là, une ombre apparut comme par magie entre eux et la bête.
— Attention ! cria Sanji.
— Ferme-la, lui répondit Apo.
Le monstre marin allait attaquer quand il s'arrêta net, comme figé. Les trois hommes ne comprenaient pas ce qui se passait, puis ils firent le rapprochement avec ce qu'ils avaient vu par le passé : le haki ! Cette femme possédait le haki, et pas n'importe lequel : celui de l'empereur, pour commander aux autres. Elle était bien plus coriace qu'ils ne l'avaient envisagé.
— Toi, le monstre ! commença Apo. Je sais pourquoi tu es là. Laisse-les. C'est moi qui ai tué et mangé ton compagnon. J'en suis navrée, mais j'avais une faim de loup, tout comme maintenant. Aussi, si tu ne veux pas le rejoindre tout de suite, va-t'en ! C'est mieux pour toi et votre enfant. Je n'aime pas tuer les femelles et leur progéniture, sauf si je n'ai pas d'autres choix. Alors ! Que décides-tu ? Enfanter ou tout sacrifier ?
À ces paroles, aussi froides que sincères, cette mère, bien que monstre, renonça au combat et fit demi-tour vers la mer pour un jour y donner la vie et perpétuer son espèce.
Apo se retourna. Elle n'eut pas le temps de leur dire qu'elle reviendrait plus tard qu'une violente douleur commença à sourdre dans son corps, au point qu'elle lâcha un cri violent et perdit connaissance.
En la voyant s'évanouir, Sanji courut vers elle pour la rattraper. Il la prit dans ses bras, et la ramena dans le cabanon. Elle était fiévreuse.
— Zoro, vite ! Remplis une casserole d'eau et ramène-la-moi, ordonna Sanji pendant qu'il allongeait Apo sur le matelas où elle avait dormi la nuit d'avant.
— Est-elle blessée ? demanda Mihawk.
— Non, mais elle est fiévreuse, répondit Sanji.
— Tiens, dit Zoro en donnant à Sanji une casserole pleine d'eau.
Sanji enleva sa chemise sous les yeux de ses comparses qui ne purent réprimer un léger sourire avec un haussement de sourcils tout en dévoilant un fard de gêne sur leurs joues. Il commença par arracher des morceaux de son vêtement pour en tremper un dans l'eau froide qu'il positionna sur le front d'Apo. Cette dernière commença à émerger quand sa température diminua.
— San… Sanji, tu ne devrais pas…
— La ferme ! Tu vois, moi aussi je sais le dire, fit sèchement Sanji.
— Ta chemise… essaya de dire Apo.
— Que du tissu ! C'est pas grave…
— Haha ! fit Zoro moqueur. Il dit ça parce que t'es une belle fille ! Quand c'est moi qui l'effleure avec une épée à l'entraînement, j'ai droit à tout un baratin sur le prix, la qualité et tout un tas d'autres trucs sans intérêt.
— Urusei marimo, on n'a pas d'autres tissus ici et je doute que toi ou Mihawk me donniez votre haut pour le déchirer ! Se tournant vers Apo, il rajouta : ce qui compte c'est de faire baisser ta fièvre.
— Je suis désolée… arg… ! répondit Apo.
— Qu'y a-t-il ? Tu as mal où ? s'inquiéta Sanji.
— Nulle part ne t'occupe pas…
— Ça suffit, réponds pour que je puisse t'aider, et pas de fierté mal placée ou autre sarcasme, ok ? s'indigna Sanji.
— Oui, mais tu ne peux pas nous aider, rétorqua Apo.
— Pourquoi ? demanda-t-il.
— …
— Pourquoi ? insista-t-il.
— Je ne peux pas te l'expliquer comme ça. Tout ce que je peux dire, c'est que je vais passer une sale nuit… et vous aussi ! Je vais beaucoup crier et parler, parfois de façon incompréhensible. Je suis connectée à une autre personne et… AARG ! _Laissez-la ! ce n'est qu'une enfant. Ne la touchez pas ! Prenez-moi plutôt à sa place !_
— Apo, de quoi tu parles ? fit Sanji.
— _Arrêtez monstres ! Elle n'a que 5 ans. Prenez-moi à sa place, je ferais tout ce que vous voudrez…_
— Apo !? demanda Sanji ne sachant que penser de tout ça.
—…
Toute la nuit, Apo parlait à d'autres personnes sans se rendre compte de ce qui se passait autour d'elle. Les garçons ont préféré rester éveillés tellement Apo criait et souffrait. Sanji s'occupait d'elle tout en lui parlant pour la rassurer et quand il voyait qu'elle souffrait trop, il resserrait sa main dans celle de la jeune fille. Lui qui aimait tellement les femmes, il ne supportait pas de la voir souffrir autant et encore moins de se sentir aussi impuissant, surtout quand il comprit qu'Apo devait être liée à une autre femme qui devait également beaucoup souffrir. Il avait du mal à l'accepter, pourtant quand Zoro lui demanda : « Que crois-tu qu'il se passe ? », il ne put que dire tout doucement :
— Elles… elles se font violer et par plus d'une personne je pense…
— Je dirais tout le bateau… vu la durée… avec tout ce qu'elle ressent et ce qu'elle dit, ajouta Mihawk.
— On ne peut rien faire ? s'indigna Zoro.
Mais les deux autres firent non de la tête, avec une expression qui semblait juste dire qu'il fallait attendre.
Le lendemain matin, Apo s'endormit enfin et je repris ma place. Quand j'ouvris les yeux, je vis Sanji au-dessus de moi, les yeux plein de tristesse et je sentais sa main tenir la mienne.
— Sanji, tu nous as veillées toute la nuit ? demandais-je.
— Oui Hinata. Tu vas bien ?
— Mieux merci.
— Ta fièvre est tombée.
— Bien. Encore désolée pour ce qui s'est passé hier, rien ne vous aura été épargné je pense. Quant à toi Sanji, tu as su résister à Apo ? dis-je dans un sourire. Je ne tenais pas à ce que tu la rencontres… Sauras-tu me le pardonner ?
— Ne sois pas bête, me répondit-il.
— Bête ? Tu verrais ta tête ? Alors s'il te plaît, je ne veux plus de ce regard mêlé de tristesse et de pitié. Il ne s'agissait en aucun cas de moi, et quand bien même cela aurait été le cas, je n'en suis pas morte pour autant ! De plus, je préfèrerais encore voir de la colère dans tes yeux car moi j'en suis remplie et Apo encore plus, car elle est née à…
_Je ne devais pas me laisser allez à tout leur dire. Non, je ne flancherai pas. Pas encore, pas maintenant !_
— Quoi, car Apo est née à…, et après ? m'interrogea Sanji.
— Non rien, laisse tomber, je suis fatiguée. On devrait tous aller dormir.
— Hinata, insista Sanji.
— Bien. Mais reposons-nous d'abord un peu et après je vous expliquerai tout.
J'étais si affaiblie par la journée d'hier et la nuit que j'avais – que nous avions – passée que j'avais fini par craquer. Avant de nous endormir, les garçons hochèrent la tête en signe d'approbation.
6. Chapter 6
Bonjour à tout le monde,
Je vous remercie de me suivre, et encore merci à celle qui me laisse des reviews. Cela me fait extrêmement plaisir. Sinon que dire vous allez lire un gros chapitre qui révèle plus de chose sur Hinata. J'espère que vous apprécierez ce chapitre. J'ai eu beaucoup de mal à l'écrire et le corriger. Je voulais suivre une certaine chronologie. Je voulais qu'on puisse comprendre plus qui étaient les trois filles. Dites-moi ce que vous en pensez et si j'aurais dû faire autrement certains passages. Toutes remarques sont bonnes à prendre pour améliorer mes futurs textes ou même celui-ci comme tous les chapitres ne sont pas encore corrigés.
Je vous souhaite une bonne lecture, et vous dis à la semaine prochaine ou à bientôt sur une review.
**Chapitre 6 : Qui je suis ? **
Nous nous sommes réveillés vers midi après seulement quatre heures de sommeil environ, un sommeil loin d'être suffisamment réparateur à mon goût, mais impossible de se rendormir, alors autant vaquer à une occupation stimulante. J'avais grandement espéré que Sanji ou les autres oublient notre conversation de tantôt, avant de nous coucher, mais j'étais utopiste de le penser.
— Hinata, désolé d'insister mais tu nous dois des réponses ! Qui es-tu ? Et que s'est-il passé cette nuit ?
—Encore une fois, c'est une longue histoire, et comme toujours je ne sais jamais trop par où commencer… Et puis, j'imagine que ça vous intrigue vraiment tout ça ?
— En effet, mais vas-y, répondit Sanji, nous sommes pendus à tes lèvres, et nous avons tout notre temps, n'est-ce pas les gars ?
Tout le monde confirma d'un hochement de tête.
—C'est parti ! Mais avant tout, faisons une mise au point tous ensemble et après promis, je vous raconterai tout ce que vous voulez savoir. Tout d'abord, sachez qu'en accord avec mes sœurs, étant donné votre comportement presque exemplaire à vous trois ces dernières heures, nous avons décidé de tout vous exposer. Ensuite, comme je l'ai dit, il s'agit d'une longue histoire, aussi j'utiliserai mes dons pour faire des raccourcis. En effet, je peux vous montrer et vous faire ressentir tout ce que j'ai vécu ou tout ce que j'ai partagé avec les gens au cours de mes pérégrinations. Une autre précision également, au cas où… mangez peut-être tout de suite, sinon vous risquez sûrement d'avoir l'appétit coupé pendant quelque temps après mon récit… Je vous aurai prévenus ! Enfin, le dernier point que je voulais aborder, et pas des moindres, c'est de me promettre que tout ce que vous allez entendre ici ne sortira pas de ces murs, je suis sérieuse et vous savez déjà de quoi Apo est capable. Nous vous faisons confiance, alors tenez votre langue. Peu de gens sont au courant, et encore, certains n'en savent qu'une partie comme l'ex-amiral Aokiji et Smoker, ou encore Shanks le Roux, Daz Bonnes et l'ex-shichibukai Crocodile.
Les garçons me regardaient d'un drôle d'air, se demandant bien ce qu'ils allaient découvrir pour qu'aussi peu de gens connaissent notre histoire, et encore, même pas tout.
— Vous allez comprendre dans quelques instants. En revanche, et je serai intraitable sur ce point, Luffy ne doit jamais savoir, à aucun prix ! Je sais que vous êtes ses nakamas, mais parfois, pour protéger ceux qu'on aime, il vaut mieux ne rien dire, non ?
Médusés, les garçons me regardaient toujours avec ce drôle d'air, ne sachant pas trop quoi répondre à ça.
— Alors vous promettez ?
— Promis, répondirent-ils en chœur, comme sortis de leur torpeur.
—Vous semblez sincères, nous allons pouvoir démarrer. Mais pour comprendre qui je suis, il faut d'abord que je vous présente ma famille. Vous connaissez tous le roi de Marie-Joie, le Tenruybito ? Eh bien, il se trouve que son prédécesseur était mon grand-oncle. De plus, je suis sa dernière héritière. Tout commença quand le roi monta sur le trône il y a une cinquantaine d'années. Il avait alors trente ans et avait une jeune sœur de vingt ans, nommée Marie-Belle. C'est à cette époque que l'amiral Sengoku – du même âge que la princesse – rencontra cette dernière lors d'un dîner donné par le roi. Ils tombèrent follement amoureux, et la princesse finit par demander au roi le droit d'épouser Sengoku, même si pour cela il fallait qu'il la répudie. Mais le roi aimait trop sa sœur pour cela, alors il accepta à la condition que, le jour où il mourrait, elle ou sa descendance monte sur le trône. Et quoi qu'en pensent les autres, Marie-Belle était sa sœur et la succession lui revenait de plein droit, en dépit d'un sang soi-disant souillé par les simples mortels. Son frère – le Roi – était homosexuel, et répugnait à faire un enfant même pour le trône, aussi elle accepta sans hésiter. Elle épousa donc Sengoku et ils eurent une fille, Isabelle, ma mère.
À 15 ans, Isabelle tomba amoureuse d'un jeune homme de son âge et comme vous pouvez le constater sur les images que je vous montre, cet adolescent est en effet Dragon D. Monkey, le père de votre capitaine, Luffy.
Les garçons n'en revenaient pas, surtout l'équipage de Luffy.
— Mais écoutez plutôt…
_Deux adolescents se promenaient dans un parc._
— _Que veux-tu faire aujourd'hui Isabelle ? demanda le jeune homme._
— _Je ne sais pas, on pourrait aller manger une glace sur un banc et profiter du soleil comme tous les autres couples, répondit Isabelle._
— _Oui comme les autres couples, répondit-il gêné. Je n'ai pas encore l'habitude, on se connaît depuis des années, mais là c'est différent, dit-il avec timidité tout en piquant un fard._
— _Oh Dragon ! Comme tu peux être mignon quand tu es si gêné, lui dit Isabelle._
— _Ne te moque pas de moi s'il te plaît… _
— _Je ne me moque pas, je t'aime Dragon, c'est tout, dit-elle avec gaieté et d'un air radieux._
— _Moi aussi, je t'aime, ma chérie._
_Puis les deux adolescents s'embrassèrent et se regardèrent de façon amusée tout en se dirigeant vers un glacier. _
» Donc Isabelle et Dragon sortaient ensemble. Mais tout bascula quand ma grand-mère tomba malade et décida de raconter à sa fille – alors âgée de 18 ans – d'où elle venait et qu'elle était l'héritière du trône de Marie-Joie.
Isabelle, abasourdie, alla tout raconter à son grand amour Dragon. Quelques mois plus tard, il décida de la demander en mariage et elle accepta. À ce moment-là, elle ignorait encore qu'il s'était enrôlé dans l'armée révolutionnaire et qu'il était – malgré son jeune âge – l'un des piliers de cette rébellion. Ils se marièrent pour leurs 19 ans et ma mère tomba enceinte de moi. Garp et Sengoku en furent ravis. Au décès de ma grand-mère, ma mère devint la principale héritière du trône. Tout allait bien à cette époque pour les ambitions de Dragon, croyez-moi ! Au fait, une petite précision : je le hais, mais vous comprendrez plus tard pourquoi.
Ma mère s'enquit du combat de mon père et voulut l'aider. Elle comprenait et pensait qu'en tant que future reine elle se devait d'être auprès de son peuple et de le soutenir. Et pour l'instant, elle ne voyait pas d'autre alternative.
Un jour, Dragon lui demanda d'accomplir une mission pour lui. Même en étant enceinte de six mois, elle pensait pouvoir le faire seule. Elle s'en sentait capable, car au fond d'elle vibrait la fille de marine qui avait appris à se battre. En arrivant sur une île, elle se fit violemment attaquer par des hommes-bêtes : mais les morsures et les griffures n'eurent pas raison d'elle, elle réussit à leur échapper et à terminer sa mission avec succès. Mais voyez plutôt…
_Isabelle débarqua sur une île. Même enceinte de 6 mois, elle arrivait à se mouvoir avec grâce et rapidité. Elle avait gainé son ventre et enfilé un manteau long et large mais assez près du corps pour pouvoir se déplacer facilement. Elle arriva près du village, il était bien gardé et les hommes paraissaient vivre de façon assez rudimentaire. Ils étaient habillés avec des pagnes en peaux de bêtes et leurs armes étaient des bâtons. Isabelle se faufila à travers le village sans un bruit, et entra dans ce qui ressemblait à la cabane du chef. Après quelques recherches dans les tiroirs et placards de la cabane, elle trouva enfin les documents si importants aux yeux de Dragon. Elle se demandait ce que ça pouvait bien être, car ces hommes ne paraissaient pas dangereux et semblaient plutôt hors du temps et de la vie réelle. Au moment de repartir, elle se fit repérer. Deux hommes se mirent à sa poursuite et un combat s'engagea : ils n'avaient pour arme que deux bâtons et elle une épée, mais à deux contre un et en plus enceinte ça n'allait pas être une partie de plaisir. Les hommes l'encerclaient, un dans son dos et un en face d'elle, elle se déplaça sur un côté pour les avoir tous les deux dans son champ de vision. Mais leur déplacement étaient rapides, même pour elle, _trop rapide_ pensa-t-elle, _pas humain !_ Ce qui se confirma quand le combat commença. Au début elle arrivait tant bien que mal à faire face, puis l'un d'eux se mit à crier et son visage et ses mains se transformèrent et l'autre fit de même, elle fut horrifiée. Les deux hommes avaient à présent chacun une tête de loup avec d'énormes crocs et des mains poilues qui se terminaient par des griffes. L'un d'eux se jeta sur elle et la griffa à une jambe, elle avait esquivé l'attaque sur le côté juste à temps pour pas qu'il lui tombe dessus. Quand elle fut remise de sa surprise, elle vit l'autre faire de même, elle para son coup en se protégeant d'un bras qu'il mordit et, pendant qu'il était bloqué – et malgré la douleur de la morsure – elle leva son épée et l'embrocha. L'épée traversa le dos de l'homme et se logea dans son cœur, ce qui l'immobilisa. L'autre homme se mit à crier et se rua vers eux, alors Isabelle fit pivoter son corps et celui de l'autre homme avec toute sa force et le bascula vers l'autre assaillant – ce qui le déstabilisa, et les deux hommes tombèrent à terre. Dans ce geste, Isabelle avait eu la présence d'esprit de retirer l'épée du corps du premier et quand le second rejeta sur le côté le cadavre de son ami, Isabelle le transperça en plein cœur et vit ses yeux se révulser et s'éteindre. Elle reprit son épée et malgré la douleur repartit en courant vers l'embarcation. Elle arriva enfin auprès de Dragon avec les papiers. Et un docteur s'occupa de ses blessures._
» Mais quelques semaines plus tard, elle ressentit une énorme douleur et un soir de pleine lune, elle se transforma en loup.
Les garçons ouvrirent de grands yeux, ils n'en revenaient pas, et ce n'était que le début…
— Oui ! Ma mère était devenue un loup-garou et par conséquent moi aussi, étant donné que j'étais toujours dans son ventre, reliée à elle par le placenta. Bref, ce soir-là, elle attaqua un homme, le tua et le dévora. Regardez par vous-même…
_Depuis l'attaque sur l'île, Isabelle ressentait des douleurs partout dans son corps, et_ _la confusion sur ses étranges agresseurs associée aux changements physiologiques qu'elle éprouvait avec sa grossesse la perturbaient chaque jour un peu plus. La fièvre se manifesta dans la foulée ainsi qu'une très étrange envie de... oui, de viande ! C'était bien ça, une envie comme elle n'en avait jamais ressentie, comme si elle avait une... faim de loup !_ _Sans compter tous ces rêves, pleins de... sang ! Elle tuait et mangeait ses adversaires ! Comment expliquer ces sensations ? Cela lui faisait de plus en plus peur. Elle hésitait encore à en parler à_ _Dragon et à son second,_ _Emporio Ivankov, avec qui elle était amie, car elle ne voulait pas qu'ils se moquent d'elle. En effet, ce soir-là après l'attaque, elle avait été trop choquée pour tout leur raconter : des hommes qui se changent en loups ! Ça paraissait_ _farfelu comme histoire, alors elle en inventa une avec des loups apprivoisés, ce qui semblait_ _plus crédible. Néanmoins, la situation devenait préoccupante, et il fallait bien tout leur dire :_
— _Tu rigoles j'espère, fit Dragon sur le_ _ton de la plaisanterie, des hommes avec des têtes de loups ! Encore un, je ne dis pas, probablement un fruit du démon de type Zoan, mais là deux, expliqua-t-il en la fixant dans les yeux, ce n'est pas possible_ _!_
— _Ne plaisante pas, je suis sérieuse ! Tous mes rêves finissent de la même façon_ _: je me regarde dans l'eau et mon visage est celui d'un loup, couvert de sang._
— _C'est peut-être des loups-garous, fit remarquer Ivankov. J'ai entendu des rumeurs à leur sujet et on dit qu'ils_ _se transforment_ _à la pleine... Ivankov s'interrompit, soucieuse._
— _À la pleine quoi ? demanda Isabelle tétanisée._
— _À la pleine lune ! Et justement, il y en a une très prochainement..._
— _Haha ! Vous me faites bien rire toutes les deux, s'exclama Dragon._
— _Alors comment expliques-tu tout ce qui m'arrive_ _? cria Isabelle bouleversée, au bord de la crise de nerf._
— _Je ne sais pas, mettons ça sur le compte de l'émotion_ : _ta grossesse, ton agression, tout ça se répercute dans tes rêves tout simplement._
— _Tout simplement ? Isabelle le regarda comme si elle le désirait, l'espace d'un instant, davantage comme un steak que comme son mari..._
— _Nous verrons bien dans trois jours si tu te transformes ou pas._ _Haha ! Ça sera amusant._
— _Idiot ! crièrent les deux femmes en même temps, et Isabelle claqua la porte._
_La fièvre ne cessait d'augmenter au fil des jours et Isabelle délirait de plus en plus. À l'approche de la pleine lune, on observait des changements surprenants chez elle, autant physiquement que psychiquement._
— _Dragon, je m'inquiète pour Isabelle... commença Ivankov._
— _Tu n'y penses pas, quand même ! Ce ne sont que des mythes, ça n'existe pas !_
— _Les fruits du démon existent bien eux, regarde nous ! Alors pourquoi pas les loups-garous_ _? Ivankov était passablement irritée._
— _Ou des vampires aussi, non ? dit-il en s'esclaffant. Arrête tes délires, et trouve plutôt ce qu'elle a, fit-il d'un air sérieux, comme préoccupé._
— _Je vais faire de mon mieux..._
_En dépit de ce qu'elle vivait, Isabelle avait entendu leurs derniers mots, et elle avait conscience des transformations qui s'opéraient en elle, mais aussi chez son bébé... Il hériterait d'un fardeau bien plus lourd encore que le trône de Marie-Joie… Isabelle était effrayée, à court d'issue, et pleura longuement. Elle paraissait bercer son enfant et lui demander pardon..._
_L'état de santé d'Isabelle était de plus en plus préoccupant, aussi décidèrent-ils d'accoster le lendemain dans la matinée, quand ils croisèrent une île sur leur route. Tout le matériel médical nécessaire pour protéger Isabelle et son bébé avait été installé dans une tente, pas loin de la forêt située au centre de l'île. Alternant divers états de semi-conscience, Isabelle paraissait proche de la fin, elle demandait à ce qu'on provoque l'accouchement maintenant et qu'on la tue avant la transformation afin de sauver son enfant. Mais Dragon refusait, _« chut, tout se passera bien »_, répétait-il._
_Quand le soir arriva, une lune pleine commença à se lever et les gémissements d'Isabelle s'amplifièrent. Vers minuit, un hurlement déchira la nuit, et en quelques instants, en lieu et place de sa femme enceinte, Dragon vit un loup, sur ses postérieures, la démarche encore incertaine mais l'instinct du prédateur, du tueur bien présent_ _! Où était donc passée la femme douce et prévoyante qu'elle était vraiment ?_
_La bête se débattit, détruisit tout dans la tente, puis finit par sortir, focalisée sur un but : dévorer tout ce qui passerait à proximité de ses crocs ! Les hommes de Dragon essayèrent de l'attraper, mais rien n'y fit : elle était très forte, trop rapide et ses coups, d'une violence extrême. Deux ou trois hommes étaient déjà passés entre ses crocs quand elle tomba sur un,_ _plus faible,_ _qu'elle emporta vers le centre de la forêt. L'équipage avait pour ordre de la retrouver et de l'arrêter sans lui faire de mal, Dragon ne tenait pas pour autant à perdre sa femme et son enfant. Dans leur course poursuite à travers la forêt, Dragon repensait à ses tentatives de lui parler pour la ramener à la raison... sans succès ! Ce n'était plus Isabelle, c'était une bête féroce, dénuée de scrupules et incapable de différencier ses amis de ses ennemis... Pauvre Yué..._
_Quand ils retrouvèrent Isabelle, c'était au petit matin, dans une clairière elle était allongée, nue, tout autour d'elle, des traces de sang partout : de sa pauvre victime, il ne restait que quelques lambeaux de chairs et d'habits, jetés de façon éparse sur le sol. Elle reprit ses esprits au son des cris étouffés face au spectacle morbide qu'elle offrait, se releva et posa la main sur quelque chose de froid et de visqueux. Elle y regarda de plus près et reconnut qu'il s'agissait de chair qu'elle croyait au début animale, puis ses yeux voguèrent vers un morceau de tissus de couleur verte. Progressivement, quelques bribes de sa soirée commençaient à lui revenir en mémoire, par flash, comme cet homme qui semblait lui crier quelque chose : « _Isabelle, c'est moi Yué… on est ami… pitié... Isabelle..._ », avant de serrer suffisamment fort pour le faire taire et qu'il s'évanouisse. Elle se revoit dans la clairière, regardant cette chose inanimée avec laquelle elle aurait aimé jouer encore un peu... puis, elle plante ses crocs... arrache la gorge de sa proie... Elle revint à elle comme si elle sortait d'un mauvais rêve, digne de ses récents cauchemars et considéra_ _ce monde rassemblé autour d'elle qui la regardait_ _avec des yeux remplis de peur, de tristesse et d'incompréhension. Isabelle reporta son attention_ _une dernière fois sur les restes humains qui l'entouraient et poussa un cri si fort qu'il semblait inhumain_ _! Prises par surprise, les personnes présentes firent un pas en arrière pour eux comme pour elle, une nouvelle réalité s'était forgée : leur reine ne serait plus jamais celle_ _qu'elle avait été. Tout en pleurant, elle murmura :_
— _Noooon... Yuééé... Ne me dites pas que j'ai fait ça, je n'ai pas pu le... Je... TUEZ-MOI ! cria-t-elle dans un accès de rage, puis tout en sanglotant à nouveau, elle continua :_
— _Tuez-moi par pitié... je suis un monstre !_
_Isabelle finit par s'évanouir dans un mélange_ _de douleur, de tristesse et de fatigue c'était bien plus que_ _son corps et son esprit ne pouvaient tolérer._
_Quand elle se réveilla trois jours plus tard, ils avaient déjà repris la mer._
» La violence des images et des émotions appartient aux souvenirs de ma mère, ça secoue énormément et je m'en excuse, mais c'est encore le meilleur moyen pour comprendre notre histoire : la vivre de l'intérieur avec ce que cela comporte de risques.
Deux mois après cet événement macabre, je vins au monde. On connaissait les risques pour moi, aussi mes parents décidèrent de s'installer loin de la civilisation, le temps de voir si je pouvais m'adapter à une vie, disons « normale ». Je vous passe les détails, néanmoins cette expérience aura eu du bon dans le sens où mes parents ont compris que tant que je ne goûtais pas d'être humain, je gardais un certain contrôle sur la transformation : visiblement, le fait de grandir avec ce phénomène semblait être un atout pour mieux le gérer en revanche pour ma mère, c'était plus délicat car elle avait continuellement faim. Elle avait fait la promesse à Dragon de ne plus manger d'humain, elle se contentait d'un monstre marin par semaine, et parfois, ce n'était pas suffisant. Néanmoins, comme l'île était inhabitée, c'était plus facile pour elle de s'y tenir.
Puis, au bout d'un an, Dragon partit en mission avec la promesse de revenir et que tout se passerait bien. J'étais jeune, mais je comprenais, et surtout je lui faisais confiance. Bien entendu, il n'est jamais revenu. À ses yeux, nous n'étions plus que des monstres dont le trône s'éloignait chaque jour un peu plus... Pourquoi serait-il resté finalement ? Donc le temps passa et ma mère, ayant de plus en plus faim, finit par trouver un moyen pour dévorer des humains. Enfin, voyez par vous-même... âme sensible...
_Isabelle rentra tard ce soir-là, accompagnée d'un homme. C'était la première fois qu'elle faisait ça et ça m'intriguait, alors je décidais de les regarder faire. Ma mère tendit un verre de saké à l'homme tout en lui disant dans un grand sourire :_
— _Un dernier, avant d'aller se coucher..._
_L'homme sourit à son tour. Quand il eut fini son verre, ma mère lui fit à nouveau_ _un grand sourire. Un sourire carnassier qui semblait dire « j'ai envie de toi_ _», sauf que là, c'était au sens propre, et il était loin d'imaginer ce qui l'attendait réellement ! Elle commença par l'embrasser tendrement dans le cou, il se laissait faire tout content à l'idée de ce qui allait arriver par la suite,_ _quand soudain, son visage se figea et fut déformé par une grimace de douleur. Ma mère_ _arracha la gorge de l'homme qui mourut dans l'instant, puis elle_ _se transforma et se jeta sur lui pour le dévorer. Quand elle eut fini et repris forme humaine, elle se leva et alla dans la cuisine chercher de quoi laver le canapé et le salon, souillés par tout ce sang, puis elle me dit d'une voix sèche et impérieuse :_
— _Ça_ _t'a plu ? A présent, va te coucher. J'ai des choses à faire et évite de traîner dans les parages_ _si tu ne veux pas finir comme lui !_
_Apeurée, je courus m'enfermer_ _dans ma chambre pour ne plus en bouger._ _Le lendemain matin, le salon était propre et ma mère avait préparé mon petit déjeuner comme tous les matins elle était souriante, heureuse._
» L'année de mes quatre ans, ma mère en était arrivée au rythme de plus d'un humain par semaine. Et elle avait de plus en plus de crise, je devais m'enfermer dans ma chambre ou me cacher hors de la maison, n'importe quel endroit où elle ne pourrait pas me trouver. Et puis une nuit, sa faim fut si grande qu'elle m'attaqua et comme vous pouvez le voir, j'ai eu le dernier mot.
_La nu__it était tombée depuis un moment déjà, et ma mère tournait en rond : elle avait faim et ne savait plus comment faire pour calmer ses fringales il y a deux jours encore, elle avait mangé un humain, et la nuit d'avant, un monstre marin, mais rien n'y faisait, la faim revenait toujours de plus belle. Puis subitement, elle se plaça devant ma chambre. Je n'osais plus bouger, tétanisée par ce qui pourrait bien se passer si jamais elle entrait. Elle semblait juste écouter ma respiration, mais la bête en moi sentait bien qu'elle se repaissait de ma frayeur puis elle repartit. Ce petit jeu dura une bonne partie de la nuit, ma mère faisait un ballet incessant d'allées et venues devant ma chambre, comme si sa part humaine défendait sa fille, alors que sa part bestiale défendait son beefsteak ! Tout à coup la porte vola en éclat et la bête entra comme une furie, me regarda et grogna :_
— _Dépêche-toi de fuir si tu tiens à ta vie !_
_D'un bon, je me précipitai_ _vers la fenêtre mais en une fraction de seconde, elle me barra la route_ _je bifurquai alors vers_ _la porte par laquelle elle_ _était entrée, m'enfuyai_ _jusqu'au salon, dépassai_ _le canapé quand_ _elle me rattrapa presque aussitôt._ _Dans la panique et la précipitation, je me servis du canapé comme_ _d'une_ _protection. Là, le temps sembla se figer, comme si la Terre avait arrêté de tourner, et nous restâmes un long moment à_ _nous fixer,_ _les yeux dans les yeux – prédateur et proie, sans vraiment savoir qui était qui – et par à-coups alternants, vers la droite, puis vers la gauche, nous jouions_ _à qui allait_ _attraper l'autre avec pour seul_ _rempart entre nous,_ _ce_ _vieux canapé. Puis lassée de ce jeu avec sa prise, la bête féroce_ _sauta_ _au-dessus du canapé. Il ne me restait plus beaucoup d'échappatoires, et je devais réagir au plus vite du haut de mes quatre ans si je ne voulais pas finir telle une bouchée dans l'estomac de ma génitrice._ _En dernier recours,_ _je me précipitai_ _vers la cuisine. Là, je fouillai dans_ _les tiroirs et découvris des couteaux de cuisine, bien tranchants_ _et dont on m'avait interdit l'utilisation. Je pris le premier qui venait, et_ _fis volte-face. La bête éclata_ _de rire et dit :_
— _Haha ! Que crois-tu faire avec ce jouet ? Regarde-toi, seulement_ _4 ans et tu n'as toujours pas libéré la bête qui est en toi_ _! __Si tu veux vraiment_ _me tuer, tu sais ce qu'il te reste à faire. Tu l'as toujours su, depuis que tu as compris qui nous étions toutes les deux, depuis que ton père nous a lâchement abandonné ! Mais la vraie question, c'est t'en sentiras-tu capable face à ta mère_ _?_
_De la gorge d'Isabelle éclata un rire puissant et sadique, qui résonna dans toute l'île._ _Je la regardais ne sachant pas trop_ _quoi dire ni quoi_ _faire. Puis elle décida de mon sort en se jetant sur moi._ _Je levai ma pauvre lame que je serrais de mes petits poings tout en fermant les yeux pour ne pas la regarder en face, puis je sentis une secousse et un poids s'effondrer sur moi_ _:_ _la bête_ _venait de_ _s'empaler_ _sur le couteau, au niveau du_ _cœur. Et pour la première fois peut-être, j'entendis la vraie voix de ma mère dans ce corps velu :_
— _Vas-y ma chérie..._ _tu sais ce qu'il te reste à faire... Pardonne-moi de ne pas avoir_ _été assez forte pour le faire toute_ _seule. La_ _bête a toujours été_ _la_ _plus forte... Mais toi oui, tu es assez forte pour_ _le faire et tu réussiras à maîtriser ce monstre qui coule dans tes veines, ce terrible fardeau dont tu as hérité et que je ne me pardonnerai jamais..._ _Je sais que tu peux le faire,_ _j'ai confiance en toi... Tu es forte et déjà très_ _courageuse pour ton âge..._
_Ma mère avait_ _repris sa forme humaine et_ _me souriait,_ _comme_ _pour me réconforter et m'encourager. Je tentai_ _de retirer_ _délicatement_ _le couteau. Elle ferma les yeux_ _et s'effondra sur moi. Je réussis à m'extirper, à l'allonger sur le dos, puis je me mis à cheval sur son corps. Avec ma petite taille, j'arrivais à peine à me tenir sur sa poitrine qui se gonflait difficilement. J'hésitai un moment... oui je savais ce qu'il fallait faire malgré mon très jeune âge, mais un enfant ne devrait pas avoir à faire ce genre de chose... Puis, prenant mon courage à deux mains, tout comme le gros couteau de tout à l'heure,_ _j'ouvris_ _sa cage thoracique d'un seul tenant et arrachai son_ _cœur pour le jeter_ _loin derrière moi dans un cri démentiel. A présent, je tentais de me rapprocher de sa gorge j'avais l'impression de baigner dans le sang tellement il inondait le sol de la cuisine_ _! __Avec le même couteau, j'entrepris_ _de l'égorger et de couper et couper encore_ _jusqu'à que sa tête soit à moitié décrochée de son corps. Puis, comme réalisant ce que je venais de faire,_ _je reculai_ _et m'assis dans un coin_ _en face d'elle,_ _regardant cette tête aux yeux vides de toute vie qui semblait pourtant me narguer._
» À quatre ans, je me retrouvais donc presque orpheline, je venais de tuer ma mère et comme vous vous en rappelez certainement, mon père nous avait abandonnées trois ans plus tôt. La situation paraissait un peu désespérée, et en dépit d'un état proche de la « catatonie », je me rappelai d'une chose que ma mère me répétait souvent : « Si jamais il arrive malheur et que tu te retrouves seule, prend l'escargophone et appelle tes grands-pères ». Ce jour-là, j'aurais dû me tuer avec ma mère, ça aurait été mieux. Non, ne dites rien, croyez-moi, je sais ce que je dis. Mes grands-pères mirent une semaine avant d'arriver, et me trouvèrent dans la cuisine, dans l'exacte position que celle que j'avais prise après avoir tranché la tête de ma mère. Je n'avais rien mangé et tout ce sang me donnait faim, mes yeux ressemblaient de plus en plus à ceux d'un loup, quant à mes dents, elles commençaient à s'allonger... Je ne sais pas vraiment comment j'ai pu résister à la transformation, peut-être que ma mère avait raison, ma part d'humain devait être plus forte... Dans tous les cas, j'ai réussi à leur raconter nos quatre années de vie dans cet endroit perdu. Mais par-dessus tout, je voulais qu'ils brûlent tout : les restes humains dans le cabanon, le corps de ma mère... et moi avec bien sûr, pour échapper à l'enfer qui m'attendait... Enfin je présume, tout se bousculait dans ma tête à ce moment-là, et puis j'étais très jeune. Le fait est que, comme vous le voyez, je suis toujours là. Ils ont refusé, bien entendu, et m'ont promis de trouver une solution pour me guérir... Pfff, comme si je ne savais pas déjà à cette époque qu'il n'y avait aucune guérison possible contre ce genre de... de... bref, vous m'avez compris. Nous avons fini par tout brûler, et pendant ce temps, je finissais de dévorer les restes de ma mère... Mon état nécessitait que je mange à ma faim, et que cette dernière soit calmée le temps du retour par la mer vous imaginez un navire qui vogue sur les flots sans équipage dès le deuxième ou troisième jour ? Malgré tout, j'espérais qu'une solution existe, et peut-être ce mal qui me rongeait ne serait que de courte durée...
La traversée fut relativement paisible, j'avais réussi à dominer ma faim... en chassant les rats et quelques mouettes à bord, ha ha ha !... Pardon, mais cette anecdote me fait toujours rire... Hum, à voir vos têtes, je vais plutôt continuer mon récit, ça vaudra mieux pour tout le monde. Donc, nous arrivâmes sans encombre à Marine Ford, et là, mes grands-pères décidèrent de m'installer chez les grands scientifiques de la marine afin de mieux analyser et comprendre les mécanismes de la transformation qui me guettaient chaque jour un peu plus à l'approche des pleines lunes. Après de nombreuses expérimentations sur ma personne, ces derniers en arrivèrent à la conclusion suivante : il fallait trouver deux fruits du démon qui pourraient me guérir, le fruit de la guérison « chiyu-chiyu » et le fruit céleste ou divin « amano-amano ».
Malheureusement pour moi, le fruit de la guérison ressemble étrangement au fruit du démon du sexe « sekkusu-sekkusu ». Vous avez compris, je pense, que ces imbéciles de marines n'ont pas été capables de faire la différence entre les deux et on m'a donné le mauvais fruit ! Alors autant vous dire qu'à quatre ans, cumuler loup-garou et succube a été une vraie partie de plaisir... vous vous en doutez, n'est-ce pas ? Je prends votre silence pour un oui. Le premier mal était déjà difficile à gérer, mais contrôler en plus un démon du sexe... Tout le monde avait envie de moi, à quatre ans, vous imaginez ça ? Et puis que ce serait-il passé si j'avais eu envie de les manger après, car les deux phénomènes étaient souvent imbriqués, étrangement. Quand je pense qu'ils voulaient me guérir... Bref, je vous épargne les images pour cette fois, mais évidemment je suis devenue l'objet sexuel de l'équipe scientifique... la chair est faible, je ne vous apprends rien... Plus vous êtes jeune, et plus vous intégrez de notions assez facilement, donc à cinq ans, j'avais réussi à comprendre et à dompter ce démon du sexe qui est en moi, et grâce à ça, je réussis à m'échapper de Marine Ford. Avec le sexe, on peut tout faire... C'est à cette époque que j'ai rencontré Shanks, il était moussaillon sur le navire de Gold D. Roger. J'étais seule et en danger, il me recueillit et m'amena avec lui sur le navire. Roger était sympathique, mais je ne sais pas par quel miracle il a compris assez vite qui j'étais, et surtout quel était mon don. Il nous amena, Shanks et moi, dans ces appartements. Ecoutez plutôt...
_On entrait dans les appartements du roi des pirates ils étaient constitués de deux pièces, une chambre avec un grand lit, avec au fond, à côté de la grande baie vitrée, un bureau, et près de celui-ci, une porte menait à la salle de bain._
— _Eh_ _bien, regardez-vous, tous les deux_ _! Vos habits sont tous déchirés_ _et vous êtes couverts_ _de poussières._ _Prenez d'abord un bon bain, vous changerez vos vêtements et ensuite,_ _on aura tout le temps pour_ _parler__._
— _Oui_ _bien sûr, répondis-je, un bain ou comment profiter d'une jeune fille nue et sans défense dans un appartement isolé sur un bateau pirate_ _? Vous me prenez pour qui tous les deux_ _?_
_Shanks paraissait perplexe en écoutant mes derniers mots, il ne semblait pas comprendre ce que je sous-entendais._
— _Me baiser, c'est plus clair ?_
— _Qu... quoi !? fit Shanks les yeux exorbités._
— _Rien._
_Roger mit fin à notre joute verbale, puis s'adressa à moi_ _:_
— _Jeune fille, sachez_ _qu'on dit _faire l'amour _et non ce vilain mot sorti de votre_ _jolie_ _bouche. Une fille de bonne famille ne parle pas ainsi._
— _Je ne suis pas de bonne famille, et quand bien_ _même je le serais, on a laissé la charge de mon éducation à d'autres, bien peu fréquentables ceux-là_ _!_
— _J'imagine... dit-il pour lui-même_ _; sachez_ _également qu'on ne coupe pas non plus la parole quand une personne parle. J'expliquais donc qu'on dit _faire l'amour _et que justement ici, il ne sera pas question de faire l'amour avec vous_ _ce soir, ni le restant de votre séjour ici. Tant que vous_ _serez sur mon bateau,__ pe__rsonne ne vous_ _touchera._
— _V... vraiment ? Balbutiai-je._
— _Vraiment, affirma-t-il._
— _Tu dis ça maintenant, mais on verra dans quelque temps._
— _Vous avez_ _mangé le fruit du démon du sexe,_ _ce qui signifie que_ _tous les hommes veulent vous avoir_ _dans leur lit. Mais ici, ce sera différent,_ _je suis_ _le capitaine de ce navire, et je le répète, personne ne_ _vous_ _touchera. À présent, je pense qu'un bon bain vous fera du bien à_ _tous les deux, fit-il en souriant._
_Sa réaction, et surtout son aplomb m'ont surpris sur le moment, et en guise de réponse, j'éclatai de rire. Cet homme était fort, il savait parler et rassurer. Je montais sur le lit pour me déshabiller, d'un air un peu provocateur, mais ça ne lui a pas plu, de plus je salissais tous les draps avec la poussière._
— _Désolé, fis-je en montrant mon dos, mais je ne peux pas aller au bain comme ça, il faudrait_ _me soigner avant._
— _Oh ! bien sûr._ _Shanks, va dans la salle de bain, me chercher de quoi la soigner._
_Nous ne nous sommes pas quittés des yeux jusqu'au retour de Shanks. Le plus doucement possible, Roger entreprit de soigner toutes les blessures, entailles et autres bleus que j'avais dans le dos et sur les cuisses._
— _Hum, comment tu t'es fait ça ? demanda doucement Shanks qui observait avec quelle agilité Roger opérait sur mes meurtrissures._
— _À ton avis idiot, t'as pas une petite idée? Lui répliquai-je froidement._
— _Vous savez, il n'a que 15 ans,_ _et tout ça est nouveau pour lui. Il est puceau et n'est_ _pas encore perverti par_ _ce genre d'idées. C'est bien_ _triste que vous_ _ne voyiez que cela chez les hommes, fit gentiment remarquer Roger._
— _Ah, pardon, répondis-je en m'adressant à Shanks, je suis souvent sur la défensive sans m'en rendre compte._
— _C'est rien, dit-il en souriant._
— _Pour répondre à ta question Shanks, expliqua_ _Roger, c'est arrivé en faisant l'amour, mais là, Hinata n'était pas d'accord, on l'a forcé et_ _ça lui a fait du mal. C'est ce qu'on_ _appelle un viol._
— _Un viol ! fit Shanks surpris._
_Tout en finissant cette conversation, nous nous rendions vers la salle de bain. Roger fit couler l'eau dans sa grande baignoire et Shanks commença à se déshabiller. On sentait une petite gêne de sa part, un côté pudique mais très touchant à la fois, aussi dès que l'eau fut assez haute, il sauta dans la baignoire et se recroquevilla sur lui-même. Cette scène nous fit beaucoup rire avec Roger. À mon tour, je m'installai avec précaution dans l'eau chaude cela faisait si longtemps que je ne m'étais pas prélassée dans un endroit où je me sentais protégée, et en y réfléchissant davantage, ça devait être la première fois depuis ma naissance, i ans... j'eus un sourire qui n'échappa à personne. Au bout d'un moment on entendit Shanks parler à voix haute :_
— _Viol !?_
— _Oui, dis-je._
— _Je... ça fait comment... ? Continua-t-il gêné._
— _Tu veux que je t'explique tout cela ? Demandai-je doucement._
— _Oui s'il te plaît, dit-il dans un murmure._
— _J'aurais préféré que ce soit un adulte qui te l'explique. Mais comme_ _tu m'as sauvée, je pense que_ _je te dois bien ça._
_Roger sourit, il sentait que je commençais à me détendre, et surtout à faire confiance aux autres, progressivement... Je décidai de leur expliquer le fonctionnement du fruit du démon, puis je pris leurs mains pour leur montrer ce que je voyais et ce que je ressentais. Je présentais d'abord des personnes faisant l'amour pour être sûre que Shanks comprenne ce que c_'_était, ensuite je lui dévoilais des scènes de viols avec toute l'horreur que ça implique. Quand ce fut fini, il ne bougeait plus et, la tête baissée, il me dit simplement, dans un petit filet de voix :_
— _Pardon..._
— _Pourquoi ? Lui répondis-je avec un sourire franc, tu n'as rien à te reprocher._
— _Oui, mais je te l'ai fait revivre._
— _Ne_ _t'inquiète pas pour ça._
_Un long silence s'installa dans lequel nous en profitâmes pour nous rhabiller. Roger m'avait prêté pour l'occasion une de ses longues chemises. Nous retournâmes dans la chambre, nous installâmes dans le lit et Roger sortit un livre._
— _Tiens Shanks, lis-nous un passage de_ _ce livre, ça aidera Hinata à s'endormir, demanda Roger._
— _Heu… Je préfère que ce soit vous, Capitaine._
— _Tu ne sais pas lire ? Lui demandai-je sur un ton de défi._
— _Si bien sûr, répondit-il en baissant la tête._
— _Alors lis, répliquai-je._
— …
— _Tu sais, il n'y a pas de honte à cela, pour un pirate de 15 ans c'est assez courant. Il te suffit d'en parler et ton Capitaine ou un de tes_ _nakamas t'apprendront, c'est aussi leur devoir. Savoir lire et écrire, c'est comme savoir manier une épée, sans ça t'es un homme mort, n'est-ce pas Capitaine ?_
— _Si, si, répondit le Capitaine._
— _Eh bien non je ne sais pas lire, ni écrire, avoua Shanks._
_En signe de compréhension, nous hochâmes la tête après tout, ce n'était pas très grave. Roger lut l'histoire et nous nous sommes endormis dans son lit. Pour la première fois depuis bien longtemps, je dormis dans les bras d'un homme en toute quiétude._
»Puis quelques jours plus tard ils me ramenèrent assez près de Marine Ford. Roger et moi-même savions que je n'étais pas encore assez forte pour vivre seule. Alors je devais retourner d'où je venais, même si ça voulait dire souffrir. Puis j'étais la petite fille du marine Garp, celui qui passait son temps à le traquer lui et son équipage. Et même s'il avait voulu m'aider, je serais partie de moi-même pour ne pas lui attirer plus de problèmes. Il était le seul homme avec Shanks à m'avoir respectée depuis des mois. Et l'avenir m'a permis de vérifier que c'était la meilleure solution, car mon grand-père Garp avait pris Ace, le fils de Roger comme vous le savait, sous son aile. Et Roger a tenu sa promesse, il n'a jamais parlé de notre rencontre. Malgré tout, un an après, Roger fut tué et j'assistais incognito avec Shanks à l'exécution…
_J'arrivais à Logue Town, une foule de gens s'était rassemblée pour voir l'exécution du roi des pirates Gold D. Roger. Je savais que je le retrouverais où qu'il soit, mais il ne pouvait être que là. Au bout d'une heure de recherche, je le trouvais dans une taverne, saoul, mais pas assez pour oublier où on était et pour quelle raison on était là. Quand je m'arrêtai devant lui, il leva la tête et me fixa, je lui fis un signe de la tête pour lui indiquer la sortie. Il se leva, me prit la main et nous sortîmes hors de la taverne pour nous diriger vers la place. _
_Roger, considéré par la marine et les civils comme « le roi des pirates », s'était fait arrêter par mon grand-père Garp, surnommé « Garp le héros », pour l'avoir stoppé justement. Ça, c'était la version officielle. L'officieuse était tout autre, car avant de retrouver Shanks, j'avais pu me faufiler jusqu'à sa cellule pour lui parler. Roger m'avait expliqué qu'il avait une maladie incurable et que pour éviter la mort de tout son équipage, il s'était rendu lui-même. Je lui dis que je pourrais sûrement le soigner, mais il refusa avec un grand sourire en disant que la mort ne lui faisait pas peur. De plus, il devait protéger d'autres personnes. Il me parla de sa discussion avec Garp, à qui il avait demandé de s'occuper de son fils à naître, Ac__e.__ Je suis repartie après m'être énervée contre lui car je ne voulais pas qu'il meure, d'un autre côté je ne pouvais aller contre sa décision. De plus je lui avais promis de ne parler de ça à personne, même pas à Shanks. _
_Sur la place, un nombre important de civil et de marines était rassemblé devant l'échafaud. Quand Roger arriva, on lui demanda s'il voulait dire un dernier mot. Il prit la parole et expliqua qu'il avait trouvé le One Piece, et l'avait caché quelque part : _
— _Si vous le voulez, dit-il dans un dernier sourire, il faudra que vous alliez le chercher par vous-même…_
_En voulant arrêter ses dires, les marines le transpercèrent avec deux lances en pleine poitrine. C'est ainsi que Gold D. Roger mourut et que débuta la plus grande chasse au trésor réalisée par les pirates._
_Shanks me serra fort la main. Nous sommes restés là un long moment et quand il put enfin bouger, il me prit dans ses bras. Je pus alors voir qu'il pleurait tout comme moi. Nous avions perdu tous les deux la personne qui était pour nous la plus proche de ce qu'on appelle un père, un protecteur._
— _Dis, Shanks._
— _Oui Hinata ?_
— _Tu as appris à lire ?_
— _Un peu…_
— _La prochaine fois qu'on se voie je t'apprendrai._
— _Tu sais lire toi ?_
— _Un peu…_
_Nous nous sommes regardés en souriant. Je me disais qu'il était vraiment beau quand il souriait comme ça. Puis nous nous sommes promenés main dans la main dans les rues, il m'acheta une robe et_ _il m'accompagna vers un bateau qui me ramena chez moi. _
» Si je peux appeler la base scientifique des marines mon foyer. Mais disons que c'est plutôt ma prison depuis mes quatre ans d'où j'arrive parfois à m'échapper pour quelques jours. Mais pour mon plus grand malheur c'est le seul endroit où l'on m'accueille.
Deux ans plus tard, l'année de mes huit ans, on découvrit le fruit du démon divin « amano-amano », un fruit dont la particularité est de réunir tous les pouvoirs contenus individuellement dans chaque fruit du démon et donc aussi celui de la guérison. Malheureusement, un corps ne peut supporter deux fruits du démon sans exploser, or, comme vous le savez, à cette époque je partageais déjà le mien avec Léna, un corps mais deux entités biens distinctes. J'ai toutefois mangé ce fruit, sans exploser pour autant les scientifiques qui avaient repris leurs expériences sur moi en étaient ravis, car je devenais un sujet d'étude encore plus intrigant. Malheureusement, cela ne m'a pas guéri, et à l'âge de 10 ans, je ne survécus pas à une série de viols particulièrement éprouvants pour mon jeune corps. Néanmoins, le fruit divin me permit de ressusciter dans mon propre corps. C'est à ce moment-là que c'est devenu encore plus dur et les expériences, elles plus fortes.
Au cours de ces dernières, pour nous protéger Léna et moi, nous avons développé une nouvelle personnalité appelée Apo. Donc le jour où les scientifiques ont découvert le fruit de la guérison, ils décidèrent de nous le faire manger pour voir si nous allions survivre à un troisième fruit du démon. De plus cela augmenterait sûrement ma puissance de guérison, car avec le fruit divin cela me faisait deux fruits de la guérison. Je ne sais pas trop si ce doublon à aider en quoi que ce soit, car Léna et Apo était toujours là. Toutefois, on a pu observer le développement d'Apo au fil des années, elle continuait à grandir alors que j'avais arrêté ma croissance suite à ma mort. Elle devint plus forte également, et rapidement elle s'imposa dans les combats pour nous protéger. Je vais vous montrer comment on a choisi son prénom…
_Le marine fit son rapport à son supérieur :_
— _La fille a de sacrés réflexes, elle apprend vite, et passe de la théorie à la pratique en un instant._
— _Alors c'est un franc succès, commenta son supérieur._
— _En effet, Monsieur. Peut-être faudrait-il lui trouver un nom… poursuivit le marine._
— _Et vous en avez un en tête ? questionna le supérieur._
— _Effectivement, on pourrait l'appeler Apo. _
— _Apo ? interrogea le supérieur._
— _Oui, le diminutif d'Apocalypse, car après son passage chaque lieu ressemble à l'apocalypse : elle détruit tout et il n'y a aucun survivant, la tueuse parfaite et sans aucun regret._
— _Parfait, va pour Apocalypse, dit-il et se retournant vers la fille, il lui demanda : Alors, Apo, ça te plaît ? _
— _Oui, répondit la dite Apo avec un sourire carnassier sur les lèvres. _
» Suite à ça, j'ai rencontré successivement le vice-amiral Smoker et l'ex-amiral Aokiji au cours d'expériences scientifiques avec lesquelles ils n'étaient pas d'accord. Nous avons sympathisé et ils ont fini par me sortir de là. Je partis m'installer chez eux, où j'avais ma propre chambre.
_J'avais douze ans quand j'ai rencontré Aokiji et Smoker. À ce moment-là, ils ne se connaissaient pas non plus. Smoker avait dix-huit ans et Aokiji était plus âgé que nous, mais je ne savais pas exactement quel âge il avait_._ Le premier que j'ai rencontré fut Aokiji. C'était un après-midi, je le sais car la première chose qu'il a dite quand il est entré dans ma chambre c'est « ah, merci messieurs, je vais pouvoir faire ma sieste de l'aprèm dans un vrai lit. ». Ce qu'il ne savait pas, c'est qu'il était là pour un projet scientifique : le projet « extermination des logias »._
_Comme vous le savaient tous, les fruits du démon sont divisés en trois catégories : les zoans dont les possesseurs deviennent des animaux les paramecias qui peuvent transformer la structure du corps les logias qui confèrent presque l'immortalité. Les militaires voulaient savoir jusqu'où mes pouvoirs pouvaient aller avec cette dernière catégorie. Avec les amiraux Akainu et Kizaru, nous avions fait beaucoup d'expérimentations et avions remarqué un détail qui permettrait de les tuer plus facilement qu'on ne l'imaginait. Ils ont alors voulu tenter l'expérience avec d'autres logias. En effet, les scientifiques m'avaient fait utiliser mon pouvoir du sexe sur les deux amiraux, mais sans coucher avec eux. Il fallait donc passer aux travaux pratiques, mais avec deux nouveaux. Le premier à se présenter fut donc Aokiji, et quand j'entrai dans la pièce, il fut surpris de me voir à moitié nue. _
— _Que signifie cela ? demanda-t-il étonné._
— _Nous aimerions que vous couchiez avec cette jeune fille. Si elle vous paraît trop jeune, elle pourra toujours changer d'apparence et se montrer sous un corps plus âgé, fit un marine._
— _Haha ! Vous rigolez j'espère, demanda Aokiji._
— _Non ! répondis-je. Vous êtes ici pour participer à une étude sur les personnes faisant partie de la famille des logias et ensemble, nous allons essayer d'aider les scientifiques à trouver une réponse._
_M'adressant au Marine :_
— _Si vous permettez, je vais lui expliquer de quoi il est question._
_Puis me retournant vers Aokiji, je poursuivis :_
— _Voilà, je m'appelle Hinata… _
_Et tout en lui parlant, je communiquais avec lui par télépathie :_
_« Faites une cage de glace et__gelez cet homme avant qu'ils ne vous passent des menottes de granit marin. Ces gars-là ne rigolent pas »._
_Pour le convaincre de mes dires, je lui montrai les images d'un homme qui avait refusé de coucher avec moi. Les marines l'y avait obligé de la pire des façons, en le menaçant et le menottant. Aokiji ne se le fit pas dire deux fois et s'exécuta immédiatement. En quelques secondes, on se retrouva seuls au milieu d'une cage de glace. _
— _Bonjour Hinata, moi c'est__Aok…_
— _Je sais._
— _Tu sais !? …Peut-être me donneras-tu une explication ?_
— _On m'a demandé d'augmenter le désir sexuel des amiraux Akainu et Kizaru au point de les faire jouir. C'est à ce moment-là que nous avons constaté que leur corps restait figé et que nous pouvions leur infliger n'importe quelle blessure. C'est pour vérifier cette théorie que les scientifiques de la base vous ont fait venir et veulent que nous couchions ensemble, avec moi ou ma « sœur », Apo. Bref, dans tous les cas, je dois vous blesser au moment où vous jouirez. Si ça fonctionne, je n'aurais qu'à coucher avec les porteurs de fruit du démon de type logias qu'ils veulent détruire et à les égorger tout simplement. _
— _Ah oui, tout simplement ! Vous me faites une blague, c'est ça ?_
— _J'en ai l'air, répliquai-je avant de prendre les traits d'Apo._
— _Waouh ! Heu… qu'est-ce que… Qui êtes-vous ? Je parlais avec Hinata et…_
— _Moi c'est Apo, l'interrompit-elle, je suis une sorte d'exécutrice pour la marine. Hinata et moi avons douze ans, mais Hinata a gardé son corps de 10 ans et moi j'ai déjà le corps d'une jeune fille de 17 ans, bien développé, comme ça nous pouvons coucher avec tout le monde sans trop de gêne._
— _Mais moi je ne veux coucher ni avec toi ni avec Hinata… _
— _Ouais, ça on le sait, mais eux non. Je veux dire ils ne savent pas pour tes préférences sexuelles et vaut mieux pas, y a beaucoup d'homophobes ici._
— _Comment tu… ?_
— _On sait tout et on aime bien les homo, au moins eux, ils ne veulent pas nous sauter dessus tout le temps. Alors pour le bien-être de tous, décongèle-le sans le tuer, et déguerpis le plus vite possible._
— _Et vous deux ? Parce que vous êtes bien deux dans ce corps ?_
— _Oui, eh bien quoi nous deux ?_
— _Vous restez ?_
—_Bien sûr, où veux-tu qu'on aille ? Nous vivons ici depuis l'âge de nos quatre ans ! Maintenant, si tu veux vraiment nous aider parce que tu as pitié ou une connerie du style, dégage le plus vite possible d'ici, ça nous fera des vacances._
—_D'accord, mais ils en feront venir d'autres…_
— _Et alors, ce n'est pas ton problème, si ?_
— _Je…_
— _Ferme-la, j'apprécie le geste, mais si je veux pouvoir tenir ici, faut pas que je m'apitoie sur mon sort, ok ? Je prends la vie comme elle vient, un peu comme toi, sauf qu'on n'a pas les mêmes cartes en main. Maintenant va-t'en, j'aimerais aussi faire une sieste seule cet aprèm._
— _Ok._
_Il décongela la salle et le marine s'évanouit. Aokiji partit d'un pas précipité, contrairement à son habitude. Les marines n'ont pu le retenir et m'ont demandé ce qui s'était passé. Je répondis que ce n'était rien d'important, et ils laissèrent tomber pour cette fois._
_Le mois d'après, ils me présentèrent Smoker qu'ils avaient déjà menotté avant d'entrer, comme ça il ne pourrait pas s'enfuir. Ils n'auraient qu'à lui enlever les menottes au moment de passer à l'acte. Ils lui expliquèrent la situation, mais refusa de s'exécuter et s'écria :_
— _Ça__va pas non, vous êtes fou !? Ce n'est qu'une enfant !_
— _Faites-le, dis-je, sinon…_
— _Tais-toi, cria-t-il, je ne te toucherai pas quoi qu'ils fassent. _
_Et là, un marine le frappa dans le dos et lui dit :_
— _C'est toi qui vas te taire. Ceci est un projet important alors tu vas faire ce qu'on te dit et bien gentiment, sinon tu auras affaire à nous. Un bon marine ne remet pas en question les ordres qu'on lui donne._
— _Laisse-le, criais-je._
— _Ta gueule, cria le marine et toi, quelle est ta réponse ?_
— _Je ne la toucherai pas, répliqua Smoker._
_Par télépathie, je contactai Aokiji dont je sentais la présence non loin d'ici :_
— _« Aokiji ! C'est Hinata. Viens vite me rejoindre, ils vont le tuer. C'est un marine, un logia… comme toi il refuse, mais lui ils l'ont__menotté… il est jeune, à peine 18 ans et n'a son fruit que depuis peu… Viens l'aider s'il-te-plaît, lui aussi il préfère les garçons… c'est un bon gars, je ne veux pas qu'il souffre à cause de moi… Dépêche-toi, je vais essayer de les calmer… merci. »_
_Puis je poursuivis :_
— _Messieurs, s'il vous plaît ! Laissez-moi essayer de le convaincre, la force ne résoudra rien mais je peux peut-être l'amadouer…_
— _Ça va pas non ! Tu ne m'amadoueras pas, je ne veux pas et ne te laisse pas faire toi non plus._
— _C'est trop tard pour moi, mais pas pour toi, sois gentil…_
_Là, il se leva et essaya de courir vers la porte, mais le marine le mit en joue et tira dans sa jambe. Il s'étala par terre et le marine le remit en joue. Je décidai alors d'intervenir et me mis à crier si fort que je réduis en poussière tous les objets dans la pièce, mais aussi les vitres. Tout le monde se retrouva alors à terre avec un mal de tête carabiné et une sensation proche de l'évanouissement. Aokiji arriva sur ces entrefaites._
— _Waouh ! De plus en plus impressionnant, fit-il. Faudra qu'on en reparle un de ses jours._
— _Oui, oui, si tu veux, mais prends-le et allez-vous-en vite. Ils lui ont tiré une balle dans la jambe car il a refusé. Je te l'avais bien dit qu'ils étaient prêts à tout. Garde un œil sur lui et disparaissez !_
_Quelques mois plus tard, alors que je faisais une balade nocturne à l'insu des marines et des scientifiques, je les ai rencontrés. Ils me racontèrent qu'après s'être enfuis de la base, ils allèrent chez Aokiji pour y soigner la jambe de Smoker je compris vite que ce dernier n'en était jamais parti. _
» Puis il y a deux ans, après la guerre à Marineford, il y eut pas mal de changements dont notamment la mort de mon grand-oncle, et mon accession au trône pour lui succéder. Il s'agissait davantage d'un arrangement entre l'amant de mon grand-oncle et moi-même en m'épousant, il pouvait monter sur le trône et régner, quant à moi, j'étais libre de mes mouvements pour construire une nouvelle ère et repartir à zéro avec un gouvernement approprié. Comme moi, il est contre l'esclavagisme et toute autre forme d'oppression, aussi nous avons convenu que je partirais en reconnaissance à travers le monde pour y rencontrer les grandes personnalités telles que les révolutionnaires, les empereurs, les shichibukais ou encore les capitaines comme Luffy et tant d'autres. Après la défaite d'Aokiji contre Akainu pour le poste d'amiral, commandant en chef de la marine, nous prîmes tous les deux la mer, laissant Smoker derrière nous… Il était furieux car on ne lui avait pas donné toutes les raisons de notre départ. C'est aussi à ce moment-là que nous avons découvert qu'Apo, entraînée pour être une tueuse redoutable, pouvait tomber amoureuse. Surprenant me direz-vous, et pourtant elle a rencontré son premier grand amour sur un champ de bataille, un homme qui a su contenir ses ardeurs malgré le pouvoir du « sekkusu-sekkusu » : l'ex-shichibukai Crocodile, dit Cro. Au bout d'un certain temps, Aokiji décida de partir de son côté et moi du mien accompagné de Cro, pour couvrir plus de terrain. Si Apo aime Cro, ce n'est pas forcément partagé par Léna, qui apprécie plutôt Daz Bonnes – dit Mister 1 –, ni par moi. Mais regardez plutôt notre rencontre avec ces deux charmeurs, dis-je dans un petit éclat de rire.
_Aokiji et moi-même arrivâmes sur une île à la température estivale, nous avions soif alors nous nous sommes dirigés vers une taverne pour nous désaltérer. Personne ne bougea quand nous entrâmes, la tension était palpable on se regarda avec étonnement et interrogation, puis nous nous sommes adressés au tavernier._
— _Bonjour, fit Aokiji, une bière pour moi et un jus de fruit pour la demoiselle. _
— _Bonjour, un jus d'ananas s'il vous plaît, dis-je avec un grand sourire._
— _Bonjour. Je vous apporte ça tout de suite, fit le tavernier._
— _C'est surprenant qu'il n'y ait pas plus d'animation ici avec tout ce monde ! Vous avez des problèmes ?_
— _Regardez plutôt par-là, dit-il tout bas en nous indiquant de la tête le fond de la taverne._
_Nous avons légèrement tourné la tête, ils étaient tous les deux assis dans la pénombre mais on les reconnaissait bien, surtout le plus grand avec son crochet. _
— _Hum, je vois en effet. Eh bien, deux bières de plus, fis-je. _
— _Hein ?! euh… ok, dit le tavernier d'un ton perplexe. _
_Aokiji compris où je voulais en venir et attrapa les deux autres bières. Nous nous installâmes à leur table sous le regard terrifié des autres clients et du tavernier, complètement tétanisés._
— _Vous permettez messieurs ? Avec mon ami, nous aimerions nous joindre à vous, ça pose un problème ? … Une bière ? dis-je en souriant tout en montrant les boissons dans les mains d'Aokiji._
— _Vous, il n'y a aucun problème, répondit l'homme au crochet, j'apprécie toujours la compagnie de belles jeunes femmes bien élevées, mais voyez-vous, votre ami est un marine et moi un évadé de prison. Ex-shichibukai Crocodile pour vous servir, précisa-t-il. _
— _Oh pardonnez-moi M. Crocodile je manque à tous mes devoirs. Hinata, fis-je en lui tendant la main, et derrière moi, c'est Aokiji, ex-amiral de la marine, par conséquent, vous n'avez plus rien à craindre. Néanmoins, nous vous cherchions mais pour un sujet précis. Maintenant, je peux comprendre que vous soyez… troublé par mon apparence…_
— _Les gars, fit Apo en guise de bonjour. J'espère que je suis à ta convenance à présent, lui murmura-t-elle à l'oreille, et sinon va te faire foutre !_
_Puis se relevant pour que tout le monde l'entende, elle ajouta :_
— _Sachez que je suis loin d'avoir l'amabilité et les bonnes manières de ma sœur. Je vais droit au but et préfère des actes francs à de belles paroles, alors c'est vous qui voyez, ex-shichibukai Crocodile !_
— _Haha ! Vous me plaisez bien toutes les deux, dit-il. Où les as-tu trouvées ex-marine Aokiji ?_
_Aokiji n'eut pour réponse qu'un haussement d'épaule, il tendit les bières vers les deux hommes. Mais Crocodile se leva et dit :_
— _Quoi que ce soit, ça ne m'intéresse pas._
— _Et si nous avions une petite discussion en privé, disons d'homme à homme, et que j'arrive à te convaincre, tu m'écouteras ?_
— _Apo ! la coupa Aokiji, passablement énervé._
— _Toi, ta gueule ! Je ne suis pas Hinata. Elle t'apprécie peut-être, mais ce n'est pas mon cas. Et là, ça se passe entre M. Crocodile et moi, ok ? fit-elle en se tournant vers Cro avec un large sourire._
— _Eh bien, eh bien ! Vous êtes vraiment très différentes toutes les deux. Admettons que tu réussisses à me « convaincre » comme tu dis, et après ? demanda Crocodile _
— _Si je gagne, tu m'écoutes __si je perds vous partez tous les deux sans vous retourner et nous ne chercherons pas à vous retrouver._
— _Ça me va, mais je ne suis pas sûr d'être convaincu à la fin._
— _On verra bien mais tu pourrais être surpris !_
— _Où veux-tu qu'on aille ?_
— _Un endroit tranquille, loin de la foule si possible._
— _Bien, suis-moi, dit-il à Apo_
— _Ok._
_Nous sommes sortis tous les quatre du bar et nous nous sommes dirigés vers la sortie du village. Après trois quarts d'heure de marche dans un silence total, nous arrivâmes dans un espace désert. _
— _C'est vraiment ce que tu veux ? Insista Crocodile._
— _Tu commences déjà à regretter l'ami, moi non. Une petite précision, mon nom – Apo – est le diminutif d'Apocalypse et à ce qu'on dit je le porte à merveille !_
_À ces mots, Crocodile explosa de rire et lui fit face. L'homme qui l'accompagnait et Aokiji se mirent en retrait et commencèrent à déguster chacun une bière. Apo cria :_
— _Quoi qu'il arrive, restez en retrait, ça ne vous concerne pas._
_Dans un mouvement synchrone effectué à la perfection telle une chorégraphie, les deux hommes levèrent leur bière comme on porterait un toast et les portèrent à leurs lèvres._
_Au début du combat, Apo et Crocodile se jaugèrent du regard, personne n'osait bouger. Apo se souvenait de ce que lui avait raconté Aokiji sur son adversaire. Crocodile était un détenteur de fruit du démon de type logia et son pouvoir était le « suna suna no mi », « le fruit des sables ». Il peut grâce à cela se transformer en sable, contrôler cet élément mais aussi assécher tous ce qu'il touche. Les liquides sont par conséquent son point faible. Après quelques minutes passées à se contempler, Crocodile attaqua le premier. Au début, ce fut pareil à un corps à corps, puis il lança une tempête de sable qu'Apo contra avec une tempête plus forte du même élément. L'espace d'un instant, Crocodile fut désarçonné mais il se reprit presque aussitôt. Cela amusait beaucoup Apo de contrer ses adversaires avec leurs propres armes, le défi en était d'autant plus intéressant que ça obligeait chaque partie à innover davantage dans les combats. Elle pensa qu'en bonne combattante, elle n'allait justement pas s'ennuyer avec un tel adversaire. Crocodile attaqua à nouveau mais Apo réussit à le bloquer, et à chaque fois d'une nouvelle façon… Ce petit jeu dura encore bien une heure, puis ils finirent par se lasser. Apo décida alors de tenter le tout pour le tout et de le pousser à bout grâce au pouvoir du « sekkusu sekkusu ». « _J'aurais dû m'y attendre_ » se dit Apo, « _en tant que logia des sables, il ne pouvait qu'éviter tous les liquides que je lui envoyais… Voyons voir si maintenant il pourra résister à ça ?_ ». Elle se rapprocha de lui et dès qu'elle fut assez près, elle toucha le bas ventre de Cro et commença à stimuler ses hormones sexuelles au point de déclencher chez lui une envie irrésistible de jouir. Pris par surprise, il s'arrêta net et ne comprit pas tout de suite ce qui se passait, puis : _
— _Oh putain ! Mais c'est toi qui me fais cet effet-là ? _
— _Eh, eh ! Quand penses-tu ?_
— _Là, je reconnais que…_
— _Ne t'inquiète pas, je ne suis pas non plus une salope. Tu peux te laisser aller en pensant à quelqu'un d'autre si ça doit te procurer des sensations plus agréables…_
— _Et si je ne pense à personne ?_
— _Ça sera plus long… mais pas forcément moins bon… tout dépend de toi._
— _Je ne veux pas éjaculer devant toi comme ça…_
— _Tu n'as pourtant pas l'air de quelqu'un de timide, fit remarquer Apo… Et puis tu ne seras pas le premier…_
— _Ce n'est pas une raison !_
— _T'inquiète, dans un quart d'heure, tout sera fini… _
— _Un quart d'heure ?!_
— _Oui, c'est le plus longtemps qu'on m'ait résistée, et… c'est Aokiji – ici présent – qui détient ce record._
— _Ok. Donc si je tiens__plus d'un quart d'heure j'aurai gagné, c'est bien ça ?_
— _Eh bien, disons que je te respecterai plus que lui mais j'ai encore d'autres cordes à mon arc…_
— _Vraiment ? Ça m'intéresse. Visiblement, tu ne sembles pas tout donner…_
_Apo essaya alors d'augmenter son potentiel pour créer des tensions sexuelles plus fortes entre eux deux, mais malgré les images de femmes, d'hommes ou autres qu'elle lui envoyait par vagues, rien n'y faisait. Décontenancée par la résistance de Cro, elle commença à s'énerver : personne ne lui avait tenu tête comme ça !__Subitement, une bête féroce se jeta sur Crocodile qui, pris par surprise, se retrouva à terre. Léna grognait et bavait, penchée sur la gorge de son adversaire, prête à la lui arracher. Quand un cri retentit derrière elle :_
— _Léna non, arrête ! On ne veut pas le tuer, dit Aokiji affolé._
— _S'il vous plaît Crocodile, écoutons ce qu'ils ont à nous dire, intervint pour la première fois l'homme qui accompagnait Cro._
— _Pourquoi ne le tuerais-je pas ? répliqua froidement Léna._
— _Parce que je ne le veux pas, dit Apo en reprenant forme humaine._
_Elle se releva naturellement tout le monde la regardait, stupéfié et choqué par ce qu'il venait de se passer. _
— _Je n'aurais pas dû, je suis désolée… dit-elle comme ébranlée par son acte… Je suis un loup garou et si Léna vous mord, il n'y a que deux possibilités : soit vous vous transformez, soit vous mourez. Et Aokiji a raison, ce n'est pas la raison de notre présence ici. Mais je dois constater que vous avez gagné… vous pouvez donc partir comme notre accord le prévoyait…_
_Crocodile la regarda un long moment. _
— _Bien, je vous écoute, mais je veux tout savoir de vous et pas de mensonge !_
_Elle regarda Aokiji qui fit oui de la tête. _
— _Alors asseyons-nous car ça va être long. Donnez-moi vos mains, je vais essayer d'illustrer mes propos et de vous faire vivre mon histoire grâce à mes dons. Nous communiquerons essentiellement par télépathie. Mais il faut que je vous prévienne que vous allez aussi ressentir toutes les émotions des personnages._
_La nuit commençait à tomber quand nous eûmes fini, aussi nous décidâmes de retourner au village et de trouver un hôtel pour nous restaurer et nous reposer. En chemin, j'avais repris mon apparence. À l'hôtel, notre arrivée fut très remarquée car il ne restait qu'une chambre pour quatre que nous décidâmes de prendre. Cela interpella certaines personnes qui devaient voir d'un mauvais œil le fait qu'une jeune fille de dix ans partage la même chambre que trois hommes ayant dépassé la trentaine. Après le repas, mes trois compagnons et moi-même entrâmes dans la chambre, continuant notre discussion entreprise plus tôt. Crocodile et son compagnon entrèrent les premiers, suivis par moi et Aokiji qui referma la porte derrière nous. L'homme qui accompagnait Crocodile se tourna vers moi et dit : _
— _Hinata !_
— _Oui ?! Répondis-je surprise._
— _Je peux te parler ?_
_Cet homme n'a pas la réputation d'être loquace, aussi son intervention avait de quoi m'intriguer. _
— _J'ai repensé à ce que tu as dit tout à l'heure et je me demandais…_
— _Oui, dis-je._
— _Voilà, ça concerne Léna. Votre histoire est liée aux circonstances précédant ta naissance, et du fait de sa condition, elle ne sort en théorie que les soirs de pleine lune, c'est ça ?_
— _Continue, fis-je._
— _Léna est seule. Même si elle partage ce corps avec Apo et toi, c'est à peine si vous la considérez comme votre égale, mais plutôt comme un moyen d'arriver à vos fins…_
— _Je crois que je comprends où tu veux en venir. Tu as conscience du danger si je la fais venir ?_
— _Oui, et je prends le risque… Mais laisse-moi lui parler…_
_J'accédai à sa requête et Léna se tenait droite, au milieu de la pièce, défiant du regard cet homme, à genoux face à elle. Il la regardait droit dans les yeux, mais pas avec un air de défi sinon de quelqu'un de déterminé, de courageux et nourri de convictions. Il ouvrit la bouche et dit :_
— _Salut Léna, moi c'est Daz Bones._
— …
— _Tu penses que je suis inconscient de me présenter ainsi devant toi, sans protection, mais si on est amené à faire équipe, c'était pour moi la moindre des choses._
— …
— _Tu vois ce livre ? Il parle des loups et explique comment font les tiens pour se présenter et devenir amis._
— _Pff… fit Léna en baissant et secouant la tête de droite à gauche. Visiblement tu ne connais rien de mon histoire. En effet, Hinata et moi sommes liées par notre naissance, mais contrairement à ceux de mon espèce, je n'ai jamais vécu en meute. Donc tes beaux discours et tes bons sentiments pour m'enseigner comment devenir des amis me font bien rire !_
— _Je comprends. Apprenons ensemble si tu veux bien ? Tu n'es pas curieuse de savoir d'où tu viens ? Je peux t'aider, les amis sont faits pour ça,__non ?_
— _Les amis ? Ne me fais pas rire ! Pourquoi aurais-je besoin d'amis ? Qui te dit que j'en veux un, et humain en plus. Tu as oublié qui était la proie ici. Je veux bien jouer avec, mais pas en faire mon amie._
— _Présenté sous cet angle évidemment… Je me disais juste qu'on a tous besoin d'amis…_
— _Alors cesse de penser, ça te va très mal et moi je n'ai pas besoin d'ami… Léna détourna son regard de Daz : ces humains, ils croient toujours tout savoir, même ce qui est bon pour les autres…_
_Daz baissa la tête, pour une fois qu'il essayait d'être gentil, il était tombé sur plus froid que lui. Léna le fixa, détourna à nouveau les yeux et dit :_
— _Et quand on est ami chez les loups, on fait comment pour le faire comprendre dans leur langage ?_
— _Euh… ils disent dans le livre qu'il faut mordiller l'oreille droite sur la pointe et la ramener vers le bas… les deux doivent le faire…_
— _Ok, comme ça ?_
_Et Léna alla attraper du bout de ses crocs l'oreille de Daz sans faire couler de sang et tira légèrement pour la replier vers le bas. Puis elle se plaça de façon à ce que son oreille droite se trouve sous la bouche de Daz. Il hésita et mordit doucement l'oreille et fit comme elle. Puis elle se retira et ajouta :_
— _Ce n'était pas désagréable, mais que l'on soit bien d'accord, cela ne change pas nos rapports, je ne suis l'amie de personne je voulais tester ton courage et voir si tu aurais le cran d'aller jusqu'au bout… J'ai plutôt l'habitude d'un contact physique quand je tue mes proies… Bonne route, humain._
_Et Léna disparut._
— _Daz Bones, fis-je. Tu as eu le mérite d'affronter Léna, et en cela tu as toute notre estime, mais pour autant – même si Léna a été charmée – elle te fait rappeler que son instinct de chasseuse et de tueuse reste le plus fort, ne l'oublie jamais. _
— _Je ne l'oublierai pas mais ça ne m'empêchera pas de prendre le risque à chaque fois, affirma-t-il._
_Comme pour sceller un accord tacite, et faire retomber les tensions présentes autour de nous dans la pièce, nous échangeâmes un sourire entendu. _
» Après cette rencontre, Aokiji et moi-même décidâmes de rester avec Crocodile et Daz. Au fil du temps Apo et Cro se sont rapprochés l'un de l'autre et se sont finalement mis en couple. Mais il y a quelques mois, Cro et Apo se sont séparés, et aujourd'hui je suis seule. D'une certaine façon, nous l'avons trahi et nous avons préféré le quitter. Voyez plutôt…
_Apo était sous la douche et n'arrêtait pas d'y penser. « _Comment cela a-t-il pu arriver ? Ça fait quoi, plus d'un an que nous sommes ensemble ? Et alors quand, comment ? On se l'était promis avec les filles, et Cro avait convenu que pour le moment c'était mieux ainsi – il m'aime, il me l'a dit, et comprend la situation – alors où ai-je merdé, à quel moment ? Cette folle nuit où nous avions tant bu… Quelle idiote je fais, j'étais tellement désinhibée que j'en ai oublié les fondamentaux dont il ne faut jamais s'écarter dans une relation comme celle que je vis avec Cro, non pas à cause de lui, mais à cause de moi… de nous… Et maintenant ?_ » Apo sortit de la douche et revérifia encore une fois. « _Aucun doute possible, les deux le confirment. Pourtant nous aurions dû le sentir ! Même si Cro était la bonne personne, nous n'avons pas le droit de répéter les mêmes erreurs que nos ancêtres, je le dois à Hinata pour tout ce qu'elle a souffert jusqu'à maintenant._ » De retour dans la chambre où Cro dort encore, Apo en profita pour s'habiller, ramasser les deux boîtiers et sortir. « _Tant que Cro dort, nous avons le temps d'y aller et de revenir sans qu'il ne s'aperçoive de rien ! Cela deviendrait presque une routine tellement nous avons vécu cette situation, encore et encore, et dans des contextes pas toujours jolis ni agréables, mais c'était pour la 'bonne cause' comme on nous le répétait, pour le travail ! Pfff…_ »_
_Notre arrivée telle une furie ne passa pas inaperçue, et la personne qui nous accueillit eut du mal à nous calmer pour comprendre notre requête. Quand il eut entendu ce qu'on voulait bien lui dire, il refusa, prétextant que c'était inhumain, surtout vu le contexte. Nous n'avons pas eu d'autre choix que de forcer un peu le destin pour arriver à nos fins – une fois de plus – et Léna fut assez convaincante comme à chaque fois. _
_Une fois fini, nous sommes rentrées auprès de Cro, comme si de rien n'était. Ce dernier nous attendait, contemplatif :_
— _Tu as passé une bonne nuit ? T'es partie faire un tour ? Je t'ai cherchée dans le lit ce matin…_
— _Oui on… Un truc à faire, fit-elle passablement irritée._
— _On ? Pour que tu parles au nom de vous trois c'est que ça__devait être important, dit-il d'un air amusé._
— _Oui… murmurait-elle. Nous n'étions pas dupes, et le lui cacher plus longtemps serait difficile, surtout si on croise son regard._
— _Qu'y a-t-il ? demanda-t-il._
— _Il faut qu'on parle, dit-elle d'un ton sérieux. Tu te souviens de notre grande discussion, sur nous deux et un éventuel avenir ?_
— _Tu… tu veux dire que… Mais c'est super ma chérie, dit-il en se jetant dans nos bras._
— _Tais-toi ! Et tout en le repoussant loin de nous, elle rajouta sur le ton de la colère : Tu te souviens ou pas ?_
— _Oui mais…_
— _Et qu'est-ce qu'on avait dit ? On s'était mis d'accord, jamais on ne compromettrait la vie d'un innocent… Nous avons déjà bien assez souffert… hurla-t-elle._
— _Je comprends, mais on s'aime et on peut le gérer ensemble…_
— _Arrête ! Tu dis n'importe quoi et tu le sais bien. De toute façon, c'est trop tard maintenant…_
— _Trop tard ? Mais… Je t'aime et… On aurait pu en parler ensemble, tu ne crois pas ?_
— _Pour quoi faire ? fit-elle, partagée entre douleur et haine. Hein ? Pour quoi faire ? Pour qu'on élève un monstre de plus dans ce monde ?! Y en a pas assez d'un dans notre couple, avec nous ? Tu m'aimes mais moi je joue la comédie depuis plus d'un an, quant aux filles, elles n'ont jamais vraiment approuvé ce choix de sortir avec toi… Et puis c'est mon corps, notre corps, et on en dispose comme bon nous semble, et on avait dit 'jamais d'enfant' !_
— …
— _Merci pour tout !_
_Elle récupéra nos affaires qui traînaient là puis on est parti, laissant là un Cro immobile, hébété et silencieux._
» Et nous voici aujourd'hui, sur cette île, avec vous trois… J'espère avoir été assez claire dans mes explications sur la personne que je suis, que nous sommes…
7. Chapter 6,5
Bonjour à toutes et à tous,
Je vous remercie encore une fois de me lire et de m'encourager dans vos reviews.
Ce soir, je vous envoie un petit OS qui parle d'un couple cité dans le chapitre précédent, mais qui a toute son importance dans la vie d'Hinata.
Alors que vous prendrez votre temps pour mieux découvrir ces personnages, moi j'en prendrai de mon côté pour avancer dans la correction de ma fiction principale.
Je vous souhaite une bonne lecture et vous dis à la semaine prochaine pour le chapitre 7 et le retour de Luffy & Co.
* * *
**L'homme de glace et l'homme de fumée**
Cela faisait déjà trois jours qu'Aokiji avait ramené cet homme dans son appartement après un appel télépathique de la jeune Hinata. Au vu de son ton suppliant, Aokiji y était retourné assez rapidement. Ce qui allait à l'encontre de son tempérament. À son arrivée, la gamine avait crié si fort que tout était devenu poussière aux alentours, quant aux vitres, elles avaient volé en éclat. Elle l'impressionnait de plus en plus. Il voulut lui parler, malheureusement la jeune femme lui signifia de partir rapidement avec le jeune homme, évanoui à leurs pieds. Avant de partir, elle libéra le prisonnier de ses entraves de granit marin. Voilà comment Aokiji emporta ce garçon de dix-huit ans, rendu inconscient par le hurlement d'Hinata combiné à la douleur de la balle dans sa jambe.
En revenant du complexe scientifique, il s'était acharné à soigner la jambe du jeune marine. Il aurait dû l'amener à l'hôpital, mais pensa que les scientifiques devaient le chercher. Alors il prit la décision de l'amener chez lui, et de s'en occuper. Aokiji commença par extraire la balle avec une pince à épiler – qu'une de ses nombreuses maîtresses avait dû laisser un soir –, puis cautérisa la plaie à l'aide d'un couteau chauffé grâce au briquet de l'homme blessé. Lorsque qu'Aokiji allongea le garçon sur le lit, le briquet était tombé de la poche de son manteau. Il n'avait pas pris l'initiative de le fouiller. Une fois les premiers soins finis, l'homme de glace examina le blessé. Aokiji se disait que ce jeune homme était d'une beauté exceptionnelle. Il prit le temps de le détailler. Son cadet avait les cheveux blancs, comme un quinquagénaire, _malgré tout, ça lui donne du charme_, pensa-t-il. Aokiji remarqua que le jeune aux cheveux d'un blanc immaculé était couvert de sang, il se résolut à le laver. Il le déshabilla sur le lit, l'emporta nu dans ses bras et le plongea dans la baignoire où il avait fait couler de l'eau chaude au préalable. Le blessé tressaillit au contact de l'eau, comme il le fit lors du retrait de la balle. Cela ne le réveilla pas pour autant. Aokiji prit un gant pour laver chaque partie de son corps. Il commença par laver ses cheveux, son visage, descendit le long de son cou, de ses bras, de son torse – déjà bien musclé pour son âge, _l'entrainement militaire sûrement_, pensa-t-il à voix basse, _dans quelques années, il aura une musculature assez impressionnante_. Il fit glisser le gant sur son bassin, ses jambes. Aokiji le trouva grand, fort, très élégant : il avait tout d'un très bon amant. Puis il voulut enlever cette idée de son esprit immédiatement : ce jeunot avait treize ans de moins que lui ! De plus, il venait à peine de le rencontrer. Effectivement, Aokiji couchait avec n'importe qui, sans distinction de sexe. Mais un de ses principes était de ne jamais toucher à une personne inconsciente. Pour le sortir du bain, le grand brun prit le jeune homme dans ses bras, tout en enroulant une serviette autour de son corps. Il jugea que pour le sécher plus facilement, il valait mieux le ramener dans le lit. Ensuite, il décida de l'habiller d'un de ses pyjamas, certainement trop grand, mais suffisant pour une nuit. C'est à ce moment-là qu'il décida de laver les habits ensanglantés de son nouveau colocataire. Il fouilla alors les poches pour en enlever le plus important. Il découvrit sa carte d'identité. Ce jeune garçon se nommait Smoker.
Depuis cet incident, trois jours s'étaient écoulés, et son hôte dormait toujours. Ce soir-là, il était presque trois heures du matin et Aokiji n'arrivait toujours pas à dormir. Le vice-amiral de trente-et-un ans regardait son cadet, non il le dévisageait littéralement. Ces derniers temps, il n'arrivait plus à détourner son regard de lui. Depuis trois jours Aokiji était resté à ses côtés, à changer ses pansements, le laver. Maintes fois, il avait pu effleurer le corps d'éphèbe étendu sous ses yeux. Parfois, il s'était permis de caresser plus longtemps certains endroits, et avait souri en voyant la réaction physiologique du jeune endormi. En fait, même endormie, la peau répond à certains stimuli sexuels. Mais il n'avait jamais été trop loin, sauf dans ses fantasmes. Peut-être devrait-il sortir, se trouver un amant ou une maîtresse, puis revenir s'occuper de son colocataire. Il commençait à se demander ce qui allait se passer au réveil du bel éphèbe à la crinière blanche – ou de 'Blanc' comme il aimait à le surnommer en référence à ses cheveux. Il relut le dossier qu'il avait posé sur ses genoux. Le document racontait la vie de Smoker. 'Blanc' était né sur l'île de Log Town, là où avait été exécuté le roi des pirates – Gold D. Roger – et vu son âge, il avait dû y assister. 'Blanc' venait d'entrer dans la marine depuis six mois à peine, et son dossier faisait déjà mention de deux blâmes après les événements de ces derniers jours, il en aurait sûrement un troisième. Et tous pour désobéissance. Le nouvel occupant de son lit avait la fâcheuse manie de dire tout haut ce que tout le monde pensait tout bas. Ce qui ne plaît pas toujours aux supérieurs, notamment dans sa profession. Aokiji pensa qu'il avait l'air d'être quelqu'un de droit et juste. 'Blanc' n'abuserait pas de son statut pour faire n'importe quoi. Il se devait donc de le protéger à distance afin qu'il puisse gravir les échelons malgré son tempérament. Et tout à ses réflexions, il finit par s'endormir, assis sur son fauteuil.
Le lendemain matin, Aokiji fut réveillé par des grognements, et sursauta quand le garçon en face de lui se mit à hurler. Le vice-amiral se rua vers son colocataire, s'assit sur le lit et le cloua sur le matelas. Aokiji parla d'une voix forte et audible :
— Hey ! Calme-toi ! Ça va, tu es en sécurité ici.
— Où suis-je ? Qui es-tu ? La gamine, faut l'aider !
— Calme-toi, reprit 'Le Brun' plus doucement, avec un ton posé. La gamine va bien, elle m'a expliqué n'avoir besoin de personne. Moi, je suis le vice-amiral Aokiji, tu es ici chez moi.
— Comment suis-je arrivé ici ?
— Longue histoire. Mais pour l'instant, reste allongé, repose-toi, je m'occupe de tout.
Le jeune à la chevelure blanche ferma les yeux et se rendormit. Epuisé par la douleur, le bleu n'avait pas cherché à se débattre, ni à discuter les paroles de son supérieur. Smoker dormit jusqu'en début d'après-midi. Quand il ouvrit les yeux, Aokiji lui rapporta les événements de ces derniers jours : comment tous les deux, ils avaient quitté le complexe scientifique puis comment Aokiji l'avait soigné, et s'était occupé de lui. Le marine l'écoutait religieusement, en se demandant pourquoi un homme de son rang l'avait pris sous son aile. Maintenant les marines devaient le considérer comme un traitre. Aokiji se leva, partit en direction de la porte, le gratifia d'un large sourire, et lui signifia qu'il allait revenir avec de quoi manger.
* * *
Seul dans la chambre, Smoker profita de ce moment pour assimiler tout ce qu'il venait d'apprendre. Comment les scientifiques de la marine avaient pu lui demander de faire l'amour à une enfant, _plutôt __une adolescente_ se reprit-il. Son supérieur avait eu le même problème, quelque temps avant, c'est ainsi qu'il avait rencontré Hinata pour la première fois. Il finit par admettre qu'il avait échappé à une lente agonie. Les scientifiques ne l'auraient sûrement pas soigné. D'un coup, une idée lui traversa l'esprit. Aokiji s'occupait de lui depuis trois jours. Il avait été une charge pour son supérieur. Comment pourrait-il le dédommager. Une vive douleur lui vrilla la tête. Le cadet se rallongea, ferma les yeux puis les rouvrit lentement. Il se redressa tout doucement, commença à détailler la pièce où il dormait depuis quelques jours. S'il avait bien compris, la chambre étaitcelle de son sauveur. Une chambre de taille normale avec un lit deux places, un bureau et un fauteuil. Le lit donnait sur la porte d'entrée. Le siège était dos à la porte, placé en direction du lit, pour que les deux occupants puissent se faire face. Sur le mur adjacent, une baie vitrée donnant sur un petit balcon éclairait le tout. La décoration était sobre, mais chaleureuse, on se sentait bien, en sécurité.
Le plus jeune releva la tête quand Aokiji revint. Il ne l'avait jamais vu d'aussi près. Le simple novice détailla le vice-amiral, la différence de statut faisait que les deux hommes ne se croisaient pas souvent. Son protecteur était grand, tout en longueur, _au moins trois mètres de haut_. Smoker s'aperçut que dans sa contemplation de la pièce, il n'avait pas pris en compte la hauteur des murs. _Combien d'appartements 'Le Brun' avait dû visiter pour en trouver un __adapté __à ses dimensions hors normes, _se demanda-t-il.
Revenant à la réalité, il dévisagea 'Le Brun' : sa peau était métisse, il trouva que cela lui allait bien, surtout avec ses lunettes en revanche, le masque de sommeil sur le front, ce n'était pas trop top pour un haut gradé. Même s'ils ne se côtoyaient pas souvent, il avait malgré tout entendu parler de son supérieur. Pas toujours en bien. Il était souvent décrit comme un être frivole – se fichant éperdument du sexe de son partenaire du moment qu'il ne passait pas une nuit seul –, mais aussi comme quelqu'un de détendu, relaxé, limite paresseux et qui passe son temps à dormir. On disait que sa devise est « Une justice à la cool » ou « Une justice paresseuse ». Mais il reste tout de même considéré comme quelqu'un de sympa, qui semble être attaché à ses amis. D'un naturel avenant, il parle aisément aux autres. On dit aussi de lui qu'il peut être « bizarre ». Par exemple, il se déplace exclusivement en bicyclette. Même pour traverser les mers. Il se sert de son fruit du démon de la Glace pour se créer un chemin de glace à travers l'eau qu'il emprunte sur son vélo.
Aokiji le sorti de ses pensées en lui posant sur les genoux un plateau repas.
— Désolé, commença 'Le Brun', je n'ai pas grand-chose à t'offrir, comme je vis ici très rarement, les courses ne sont jamais faites et je ne pensais pas recevoir du monde.
— Oh !
— Oui, je vis plutôt sur les différentes bases marines au gré des missions, on va dire qu'ici c'est plus un appartement pour les vacances qu'une résidence principale.
— Je comprends.
— Bien, lui fit son supérieur dans un grand sourire, alors mange maintenant. J'irai faire des courses plus tard.
— Euh… non faut pas… je veux dire pas pour moi… je vais repartir chez moi.
— Argn… pas question ! Tu as vu dans quel état tu es ?
— Mais non c'est bon, merci. Tu en as déjà assez fait pour moi**.**
Voulant se lever après avoir déplacé le plateau repas, Smoker se prit les pieds dans les draps, trébucha et atterrit dans les bras d'Aokiji.
— Badaboum !
— Aïe ! s'écria Smoker.
— Pfiou… heureusement que j'étais là. Tu vois bien ? Tu ne peux même pas sortir du lit tout seul, alors vivre seul ! De toute façon, si tu rentres chez toi je te suis. Veux-tu que je vienne vivre chez toi ?
— Waouh ! Heu… non, non, je vis dans un dortoir de la base, tu ne vas pas venir avec moi là-bas ?
— Et pourquoi pas ? Tu es sous ma responsabilité pour l'instant. Tu décides quoi ?!
— Je reste ici, merci. Mais je te le revaudrai.
— Chut ! On verra cela plus tard, maintenant mange !
Les deux hommes se fixèrent du regard, puis Aokiji remit Smoker dans le lit, et le regarda mangé en silence.
* * *
Aokiji était soulagé que 'Blanc' revienne à la raison. Il avait accepté de vivre chez lui au moins le temps de son rétablissement. Cela l'arrangeait bien, car il n'aurait vraiment pas voulu retourné à la base : le cadet vivait en collectivité dans les dortoirs, alors que lui, haut gradé, avait ses propres appartements, donc il lui était interdit d'y amener qui que ce soit et surtout pas un novice.
D'autres questions vinrent le tarauder : _Comment __allait-t-il__ expliquer__ sa colocation __à ses supérieurs _? _Comment allait__-__t-il__ échapper à sa mission, vu qu'il devait s'occuper de 'Blanc' presque en permanence_ ? En effet, alors qu'il s'apprêtait à préparer ce soir-là le repas pour son hôte, l'escargophone avait sonné : ses supérieurs avaient décidé de l'envoyer en mission la semaine prochaine. _Ça tombe mal_, se dit-il, _mais je trouverai bien un moyen d'esquiver pour cette fois_.
Une semaine passa, et Aokiji avait trouvé un moyen très simple : Il avait échangé sa mission avec une autre personne pour pouvoir rester sur la base. Effectivement, 'Le Brun' avait un peu menti, en expliquant qu'étant malade, il préférait rester sur la base et irait vivre dans son autre appartement pour éviter de contaminer les autres marines.
* * *
Smoker, lui, se demandait pourquoi il n'avait toujours pas était arrêté. Aokiji l'avait rassuré en lui affirmant qu'après avoir lu tous les rapports de la base, aucun incident n'avait été signalé. Le haut gradé en avait déduit qu'Hinata avait effacé quelques mémoires, ou jouer de ses relations, si on pouvait dire. En ce qui concernait son absence, il avait écrit une lettre à ses supérieurs qui stipulait qu'il s'était cassé une jambe lors de sa dernière mission, et ne pourrait pas repartir avant sa complète guérison, dans deux mois. Smoker profitait donc pleinement de ses vacances improvisées.
Au début, Smoker restait allongé nuit et jour. Aokiji lui amenait tout dans la chambre avant de partir travailler. Son protecteur lui avait installé une table avec un escargovision pour pouvoir suivre les informations ou se distraire entre deux siestes. Une autre table avait été posée à côté du lit, et dessus, avec les plateaux repas, des livres, des magazines : de quoi passer le temps, en somme. Mais il était interdit à Smoker de se lever sauf pour aller aux toilettes ou à la douche, non loin de la chambre. Mais pour se laver, Aokiji avait imposé sa présence pour être sûr qu'il ne glisse pas et qu'il ne se casse rien. Cela le frustrait énormément. Pour plusieurs raisons : d'abord car il a toujours détesté être dépendant des autres ensuite parce qu'en plus de travailler toute la journée, Aokiji lui sert d'aide-soignant et infirmier quand il rentre enfin, parce qu'il est très gêné de devoir s'asseoir sur un tabouret sous la douche, et de laisser son supérieur le laver. En effet, se présenter nu devant son protecteur était toujours quelque chose d'embarrassant, alors il préférait regarder ses pieds ou ailleurs plutôt que de le dévisager. À part ces quelques désagréments, la vie chez Aokiji était bien sympathique, les deux hommes aimaient bien parler ensemble. Lors d'une de leurs discussions, Aokiji avait émis une idée. Smoker pensait qu'elle était bonne.
Son supérieur, lui avait proposé de l'entraîner à contrôler son fruit du démon. En effet, il en possédait un depuis peu, et n'avait aucune emprise dessus. Et passait son temps à se transformer en fumée à chaque fois que colère ou frustration venaient à lui. Ce qui arrivait souvent ce moment. Tout énervait Smoker. Il ne savait pas pourquoi, il avait toujours été d'un tempérament assez rageur. Et depuis qu'il avait mangé le fruit du démon, cela empirait. Une autre chose avait évolué chez lui. Sa consommation de cigarette. On ne pouvait pas le considérer comme un gros fumeur. Une cigarette par-ci, une cigarette par-là, surtout lors de repas entre amis, pour faire comme les autres. Mais ces derniers temps, il avait cette envie, ressentait ce manque. Il se sentait obligé de fumer. Fumer énormément. Ce qui le frappa fut que finalement seul les cigares comblaient cette sensation. Plus précisément les doubles cigares qui ornaient sa bouche. Un de chaque côté, aux commissures. Cela n'était pas très esthétique. Et ça devait sûrement toucher ses poumons, mais peu importe, étant un logia, il n'avait pas de soucis à se faire.
Aokiji avait décidé que dans quelques semaines, surtout une fois rétabli, Smoker pourrait enfin apprendre à gérer son pouvoir. Peut-être aussi ses humeurs, du moins à les tempérer. Comme ça, il arrêtera de faire tomber des objets à chacune de ses sautes d'humeur ou de ses frustrations. En y repensant, il se sentait coupable envers 'Le Brun'. Smoker faisait tomber beaucoup d'objets : un vase, une assiette, un verre, des couverts. Ce n'était pas le plus grave, vu qu'il n'y avait rien de cassé. Mais pour le reste. Le cadet se répétait souvent : _il va falloir rembourser Aokiji_. Il avait peur de rester trop longtemps dans cet appartement. Et ainsi détruire tous ce qui appartenait à son bienfaiteur. Ce n'était pas très cool. Par contre chez les marines, tant pis, au fond c'est bien à cause d'eux s'il est devenu un logia. Donc ils pouvaient bien payer les quelques dégâts occasionnés par son manque d'expérience.
De plus, ces temps-ci, un autre problème se posait et influençait son pouvoir. Smoker s'était aperçu que son corps bougeait seul, selon son désir. Ainsi la plus petite pensée, pouvait être désastreuse, comme l'autre soir. En repensant depuis son lit à la gêne subie une fois de plus sous la douche, son esprit vagabondait et il en était arrivé à la conclusion qu'il n'avait jamais vu Aokiji nu. _J'irai bien sous la douche avec lui…_ À peine avait-il formulé cette pensée dans sa tête, qu'il se transforma en fumée pour se matérialiser sous la douche avec Aokiji, nu. Ce dernier fut si surpris qu'il ne bougea pas, alors que Smoker, lui, recula et se prit le mur derrière. Son supérieur le rattrapa quand celui-ci glissa. Ils se retrouvèrent ainsi dans les bras l'un de l'autre. Les deux étaient si proches, que chacun pouvait voir les rougeurs de l'autre. Le jeune marine essaya de bredouiller une excuse, mais avant même d'y être arrivé, son corps disparut en fumée sous la honte, revenant sur le lit de la chambre, laissant Aokiji seul, dans tous ses états. En effet, si Aokiji avait fantasmé le corps de son cadet, Smoker, lui, n'osait s'avouer qu'en ce moment il commençait à craquer pour son supérieur. Cet événement passé, ils n'en avaient plus reparlé, jusqu'à ce que les choses se compliquent la nuit dernière. En effet, la scène sous la douche a eu pour conséquence positive de découvrir le magnifique corps sculpté d'Aokiji, mais pour conséquence négative de l'avoir touché, ce corps magnifique. Or à présent, Smoker se mettait à faire des rêves de plus en plus érotiques le mettant en scène avec son hôte, ce qui le contraignit à l'éviter régulièrement. Donc, cette fameuse nuit, les tensions sexuelles perçues pendant son sommeil obligèrent inconsciemment Smoker à se matérialiser dans la couche d'Aokiji qui avait pris l'habitude de dormir sur le canapé du salon depuis une bonne semaine. Smoker ne faisant pas les choses à moitié, il se retrouva évidemment sous les draps, sur un Aokiji à plat ventre. Il encerclait ce dernier de ses bras, lui caressant instinctivement le torse tout en susurrant son nom à l'oreille, quand il sentit une main ferme lui saisir le bras et le secouer pour le réveiller. _Smoker !_ lui criait son hôte. Quand il recouvra ses esprits, il se rendit compte de la situation : il était nu, collé contre le dos de son supérieur – intégralement nu lui aussi –, en train de s'ébattre. De honte, il s'éclipsa sans un mot. Depuis, chaque fois qu'Aokiji essayait de venir le voir, il faisait semblant de dormir. Smoker comprit qu'il était tant pour lui de guérir rapidement, d'apprendre à gérer son pouvoir tout seul et de continuer à faire comme si de rien n'était dans les derniers jours de son séjour pour pouvoir partir au plus tôt, car sinon, il finirait par en mourir de honte.
* * *
Il devait être vingt heures, Aokiji était planté devant la porte de sa chambre. Toute la journée, 'Le Brun' avait essayé de parler avec son colocataire tout en se demandant pourquoi Smoker l'évitait. Effectivement, il y avait eu ces deux petits incidents : celui de la nuit passée et celui sous la douche. Mais pas de là à… Si de fait, c'était un réel problème. La première fois, Smoker s'était matérialisé sous sa douche et il dut reconnaître qu'il avait eu énormément de mal à se contrôler. Surtout quand 'Blanc' avait glissé pour atterrir dans ses bras. Le vice-amiral aurait vraiment aimé pouvoir l'embrasser, voire aller plus loin. Mais il avait su se montrer digne et ne rien faire. En même temps, la nuit dernière avait été beaucoup plus dure. Le haut gradé dut admettre que gérer son érection fut chose ardue. Il n'a pas voulu bouger de son canapé, ni faire de bruit ou de gestes brusques afin que Smoker ne pensât pas que cela lui avait procuré quelque émotion que ce soit. Oui, l'homme dont il commençait à tomber amoureux avait été dans son lit, nu et accolé à lui, le caressant, et lui murmurant son nom à l'oreille. Au début, il avait pensé qu'il ne faisait que l'appeler car il avait besoin de quelque chose. Quand 'Le Brun' s'aperçut que l'autre dormait à point fermé et était en train de rêver de lui, ça l'avait beaucoup marqué. Aokiji ne savait pas quoi faire, mais il voulait quand même discuter avec lui, l'affronter d'une certaine façon… après tout, ce n'était pas si désagréable. Certes, il ne savait pas quoi dire, mais il n'en était pas mécontent pour autant.
Tout à coup, le propriétaire de l'appartement se décida à franchir la porte de sa chambre : c'était la sienne après tout ! Et en tant que telle, son entrée ne lui était pas interdite. Allongé dans le lit, les draps jusque sur la tête, Smoker semblait dormir. Peu importait finalement, Aokiji était bien décidé à réveiller ce blanc-bec et à avoir une discussion avec lui. Il le secoua mais le cadet ne bougeait pas, alors il s'assit sur le lit à côté de lui, l'attrapa, le tourna vers lui et lui dit :
— Maintenant on va discuter mon p'tit gars ! Et on va affronter nos peurs ensemble. Moi personnellement, ce qui s'est passé ne me dérange absolument pas. Je vais être franc avec toi : tu me plais. Tu me donnes vraiment envie d'avoir une relation stable et fidèle. Je sais, venant de moi, ça semble assez stupide. Étantconnu comme volage… Mais c'est juste que je n'ai pas trouvé la bonne personne. Et j'ai de plus en plus envie de croire que c'est toi cette bonne personne. Ne me demande pas pourquoi. C'est juste que j'aime être en ta compagnie. Il n'y a pas que ton physique qui m'intéresse, mais aussi ton esprit. J'aime quand on discute ou quand on regarde l'escargovision ensemble. J'aime cuisiner pour toi, aussi…
N'y tenant plus, et le dévorant de désir, Smoker se jeta à son cou et l'embrassa fougueusement, d'un baiser énergique et plein d'amour. Les deux hommes s'embrassèrent longuement et passionnément. Aokiji renversa sur le lit son nouveau partenaire et mit fin au baiser. Relevant la tête pour dévisager 'Blanc'. 'Le Brun' lui sourit, à bout de souffle, et reprit :
— Et j'aime quand tu m'embrasses.
— On est deux, répondit l'homme sous lui.
— Ne me fuis plus, je ne supporte pas ça.
— Ok, plus jamais, promis.
— Bien, si je promets de bien me tenir cette nuit, je peux dormir avec toi ?
— Bien-sûr, mais tu peux aussi 'mal' te tenir si tu veux, lâcha-t-il avec un sourire en coin.
— On verra ça plus tard. Pour l'instant allons dans le salon, je vais préparer le repas.
— Ok.
Les deux hommes se relevèrent et se dirigèrent vers le salon. Smoker s'assit dans le canapé et alluma l'escargovision pendant qu'Aokiji alla préparer le repas dans la cuisine attenante au salon.
* * *
Assis sur une chaise, Smoker dégustait son café devant sa table de cuisine. Il soupira en se remémorant ces six derniers mois. Il s'en était passé des choses depuis qu'Aokiji l'avait ramené du complexe scientifique. Les deux hommes avaient commencé à vivre une histoire d'amour secrète, ponctuée d'un entraînement intensif pour Smoker.
Il suivait à la lettre toutes les recommandations de son nouveau mentor, et même quand ce dernier s'absentait – comme c'était le cas cette semaine –, il s'astreignait à garder le rythme. Ce matin-là, il était donc seul – Aokiji ne devait pas rentrer avant le soir même de sa semaine de mission – mais il s'était quand même levé à six heures du matin, comme tous les jours.
Une certaine routine s'était installée entre les deux marines. Ils vivaient sous le même toit et essayaient de passer le plus de temps possible ensemble. Si Smoker habitait l'appartement à plein temps, ce n'était pas le cas d'Aokiji, qui partait énormément en missions du fait de son grade. De plus, il devait vivre aussi sur la base de Marine-Ford, alors il se débrouillait pour s'éclipser le plus possible et rejoindre Smoker.
Tout avait commencé alors que les deux mois de convalescence du cadet chez Aokiji prenaient fin. Smoker était reparti vivre sur la base. Mais au bout de trois jours, il ne supporta plus de vivre seul, loin d'Aokiji. Il fit alors ses valises, après avoir trouvé un prétexte bidon pour quitter les dortoirs, et débarqua en pleine nuit – à l'improviste – chez son amant. Sans même savoir s'il était là ou pas ! Smoker posa ses sacs par terre et tapa à la porte. Quand celle-ci s'ouvrit, Aokiji le regarda avec une mine d'incompréhension. Puis passa comme une lueur dans les yeux du 'Brun' qui attrapa et lança sans ménagement les affaires de Smoker à l'intérieur de l'appartement. Un bras commença à enlacer la taille du jeune marine pour la rapprocher du corps de son amant, et la porte claqua derrière eux. Son compagnon le plaqua contre lui. Des lèvres happèrent les siennes dans un baiser plein de fougue et de désir. Il entendit juste une phrase s'échapper de ces lèvres intrusives :
— Bienvenue à la maison.
Ces paroles furent les seules prononcées de toute la soirée, mais pour lui, ce furent les plus belles qu'on ne lui ait jamais dites. Il avait enfin un chez lui.
Smoker se sentit soulevé et emporté dans la chambre qu'il partageait désormais avec son conjoint. Les deux hommes s'étaient littéralement dévorés de baisers et de caresses comme durant les deux mois qui venaient de s'écouler. Une fois de plus ils n'avaient pas fait l'amour, toutefois, emporté par les seuls caresses et baisers de son aîné, Smoker avait joui.
Ainsi, depuis six mois qu'ils étaient en couple, ils n'avaient toujours pas franchi le pas, ils se contentaient de câlins et de préliminaires. Smoker ressentait de la frustration par rapport à ça, _en même temps_, se disait-il, _c'est un peu ma faute…_ En effet, chaque fois qu'ils essayaient, le cadet se transformait en fumée – excité par tant de désir –, incapable de gérer son pouvoir en de telles circonstances. Pour le rassurer, Aokiji lui expliqua calmement qu'ils avaient tout leur temps. Mais cela faisait six mois, et le plus jeune voulait que son entraînement porte ses fruits.
Or donc ce matin-là, comme tous les autres, il s'était levé, lavé et avait déjeuné. Puis il irait faire son jogging, se rendrait sur la base pour faire sa journée de militaire, avec les différents entraînements. Il poursuivrait par les exercices qui doivent l'aider à renforcer son esprit et à mieux contrôler son pouvoir. Ensuite, il rentrerait chez lui attendre le retour de son amour. Il resta plongé dans ses pensées jusqu'à son départ.
* * *
Aokiji regardait les aiguilles défiler seconde après seconde. Il en avait assez de cette mission sans importance. N'importe quel marine aurait pu la faire, alors pourquoi l'envoyer lui. En plus, tout le monde sait qu'il déteste tout ce qui a trait à l'administration. Alors une semaine à remplir des papiers, il n'en pouvait plus. Heureusement qu'il rentrait le soir même et qu'il avait sa soirée et son week-end. Il pourrait enfin rejoindre son amant. Celui-ci lui manquait, tant de jours sans lui, ça devenait insupportable. De plus, il avait tout prévu pour leurs retrouvailles, il lui réservait une belle surprise. En attendant de pouvoir savourer ces bons moments en charmante compagnie, il repartit dans ses pensées encore quelques heures.
Il devait être vingt heures quand il vit Smoker arriver en courant vers l'appartement. Lui était arrivé deux heures plus tôt, mais il savait que son compagnon rentrerait plus tard. Aokiji avait confiance en lui et imaginait bien qu'il s'entraînait comme il le lui avait demandé. Alors il en profita pour se doucher, faire leurs bagages, et les mettre dans l'Aomobile – son autre moyen de locomotion – et à présent il l'attendait, assis dedans. Quand son amant passa à côté du véhicule, Aokiji en sortit, l'attrapa par le bras et l'amena violent contre lui puis d'une main ferme sur sa nuque, lui vola un baiser passionné qui montrait tout son désir pour son amant. Il indiqua la voiture :
— Monte, on y va !
— Hein ? Mais où ?
— T'occupe ! Monte ! J'ai nos bagages, on part pour le week-end.
À ce ton qui ne souffrait aucune remarque, le cadet s'exécuta et s'installa dans le moyen de locomotion de son aîné. Pour Smoker, c'était la grande inconnue.
— Tu pourrais au moins me dire où on va ? interrogea le marine. Je n'ai même pas eu le temps de me changer, regarde ! Je transpire de partout.
— Et alors ? Tu es très bien comme ça.
— Mais je vais avoir froid !
— Regarde sur la banquette arrière.
— Mon manteau ?!
— Oui ! Mets-le et dors si tu es fatigué, on en a pour deux heures de route environ.
— Mais où va-t-on ?
— Surprise, on est en week-end et on va en profiter loin de cette ville.
— Mais…
— Tss… Ça suffit ! Dors !
Sur ce, Smoker enfila son pardessus et fit une moue qui signifiait qu'il désapprouvait ce qui se passait. Toutefois, après cette longue et éprouvante journée, il ferma les yeux et finit par s'endormir de fatigue. Aokiji le regarda faire en souriant. Même si son jeune amant est têtu, il le laisse toujours l'amener là où il veut. De plus, malgré son désaccord, il a bien vu son rictus de satisfaction. Il comprit qu'ils étaient tous les deux contents de s'être retrouvés.
Cela faisait deux heures qu'Aokiji conduisait tout en se remémorant tout ce qu'il avait pu organiser pour passer un week-end parfait. D'abord, reporter son entretien avec Sengoku au lundi matin. Après, rechercher une station balnéaire loin de Marine-Ford, pour ne croiser personne. Et il était tombé sur cette auberge qui possédait des sources thermales en plein air. Quand l'Aomobile s'arrêta, Smoker sursauta car il ne se sentait plus bercer. Aokiji s'amusa de le voir faire, il aimait regarder en détail chaque mimique ou geste que faisait son amant. Peu importe où il se trouvait, Smoker se réveillait toujours de la même façon : il commençait par papillonner des yeux puis il passait sa main droite devant la bouche tout en baillant ensuite, il allait joindre ses deux bras devant lui et les étirer tout en les relevant au-dessus de sa tête et pour finir, il allait relâcher ses muscles, baisser ses bras et tourner sa tête vers son amant. Car n'importe où, la première chose que Smoker recherchait des yeux, c'était Aokiji. Et ce soir, le cérémonial n'échappa pas à la règle. Son aîné était ravi, il se pencha vers lui et l'embrassa. Il aimait passer du temps à observer chacun des petits gestes de son jeune amour, comme pour faire durer le plaisir.
Puis les deux hommes sortirent et se dirigèrent vers l'auberge. Aokiji voyait son homme apprécier les lieux. Lui-même trouvait l'endroit parfait, éloigné de tout. On leur avait donné une chambre dans un cottage à l'autre bout du domaine. Le lieu était partagé en deux pièces : une d'eau et une pour le couchage. Le lit paraissait bien moelleux, et Aokiji avait bien envie de s'y vautrer dedans. Mais avant ça, son plus grand désir était d'aller prendre un bon bain dans les sources chaudes. Alors, l'ainé prit son cadet par le bras et l'entraîna vers la terrasse extérieure sur laquelle se trouvaient une table avec des chaises ainsi qu'un petit cabanon où était entreposé tout le nécessaire pour prendre un bain : maillots et serviettes. 'Le Brun' fit un signe de tête vers la cahutte :
— Ça te dit un bain de minuit ?
— Pourquoi pas ? Merci…
— Hmm ?
— Pour nous avoir amené ici. J'en suis ravi.
— Hé hé ! Pas autant que moi.
Aokiji pensait à tout ce qu'il pourrait faire avec Smoker pendant le week-end. Surtout qu'il avait décidé de faire passer leur relation au niveau supérieur. Ce week-end devait être l'opportunité pour eux de franchir ce fameux pas qui rendait toujours Smoker évanescent, et pour cela, le Vice-amiral avait essayé de mettre les petits plats dans les grands.
Une fois en tenue, les deux hommes entrèrent dans l'eau. Aokiji avait un regard lourd d'intention rivé sur son compagnon, mais il essayait de se retenir. Seulement, quand son homme le rejoignit et resta face à lui, il ne put se contenir davantage et attrapa la nuque de cet homme qu'il chérissait tant, comme il le fit plus tôt dans la soirée, et l'embrassa fougueusement. Il lui murmura alors :
— J'ai envie de toi.
— Je le sens bien, sourit l'autre en percevant leur deux sexes en érection l'un contre l'autre, moi aussi.
— Je veux qu'on aille jusqu'au bout ce soir, alors on va y aller doucement.
— Oui, souffla Smoker qui commençait à se détendre sous les caresses de son amant.
Puis Aokiji souleva son homme et alla trouver un endroit où s'asseoir. Là, il l'installa doucement sur ses genoux. Il caressait son dos, sa nuque et sa tête, tout en le dévorant de baisers sur la bouche, le cou et les épaules. Il sentait les doigts de Smoker s'accrocher à lui, se perdre dans sa chevelure pour descendre sur sa nuque et le haut de son dos. Il l'entendit émettre des sons rauques de plaisir. Cela l'excitait davantage encore, et commençait à lui donner des idées et des envies d'aller plus loin. Alors il écarta un peu ses cuisses et de ses doigts, alla titiller l'anus de son petit-ami qui réagit au quart de tour :
— Aokiji, non…han !
— Tu es sûr ?
— Aooo…hummmm je…je…n'en peux plus.
— Que veux-tu exactement ?
— Tchip !... Arrête de jouer avec moi, tu le sais.
— Non.
— Aaaarrh… je te veux en moi, alors cesse de jouer.
— Ok, alors détends-toi !
— Raaah… je le suis déjà bien assez.
Sur ces mots, 'Le Brun' fit d'abord courir ses mains sur les cuisses de son aimé. Puis d'une main ferme, il attrapa le sexe déjà gonflé de plaisir de ce dernier et de l'autre le saisit par le bassin. Il entama donc d'une main des va-et-vient sur la verge du jeune marine, et de l'autre il le souleva et l'entraina au-dessus de sa propre verge. Il allait le pénétrer doucement quand Smoker commença à s'évaporer. Il le rassura une nouvelle fois :
— Calme-toi et fais-moi confiance.
— Oui, mais j'ai du mal à me concentrer.
— Justement, ne te concentre pas, respire doucement, lentement. Aie foi en moi.
— Ao….
— Je suis là… Attends, j'ai une idée.
Aokiji se releva en calant Smoker entre ses bras. Le plus jeune s'agrippa au cou de son homme et le ceintura à la taille avec les jambes. 'Le Brun' rentra dans la chambre sous l'œil interrogateur de son cadet, puis déposa son paquet sur le lit, se positionna au-dessus de lui, et énonça :
— Nous avons deux options : je te bande les yeux et on fait l'amour en répétant un de tes exercices de concentration ou je t'attache avec des menottes de granit marin pour que tu ne puisses pas te servir de ton pouvoir. Que choisis-tu ?
— Les yeux bandés.
— Oh ! Dommage ! J'aurais préféré t'attacher au lit.
— Hein !?
— Non je rigole…
— Pervers !
— Ha, ha, toujours quand je te vois.
Et avant de laisser l'homme sous lui répondre, il happa ses lèvres dans un baiser plein de passion. Il l'enlaça et le serra fort contre lui tout en murmurant des mots doux à son oreille :
— Je t'aime mon amour. Cette semaine sans toi a été si longue, si dure. Je ne veux plus te quitter.
— Aokiji… hummmm, je…
— Chut !
Et il l'embrassa une nouvelle fois. Puis il alla chercher un tissu pour lui bander les yeux. Il trouva le bandeau de jogging élastique que Smoker avait utilisé le jour même et s'en servit. Puis Aokiji reprit ses caresses et ses baisers. Smoker recommençait à s'évaporer. Mais Aokiji le ramena à la réalité en lui parlant il voyait que son homme faisait des efforts pour rester là, alors il entreprit de le mettre à l'aise avant d'aller plus loin. Ce qui fut chose assez facile tant le jeune marine avait envie d'aller au bout.
Aokiji se cala entre les jambes de son cadet et le pénétra très doucement, lentement. Smoker se contorsionnait sous lui, alors il lui saisit la verge et la branla pour lui donner du plaisir et le détendre au maximum. Ensuite, il s'enfonça jusqu'à la garde, s'arrêtant un moment pour le laisser s'habituer, puis reprit doucement ses mouvements dans un rythme doux, et quand il sentit son amant se détendre, il augmenta la cadence. Il ne cessa à aucun moment de lui parler, de le rassurer, de le toucher. Aokiji désirait que Smoker se sentît bien. Alors lorsqu'il l'entendit pousser des gémissements de plaisir, il accentua encore plus son déhanché ainsi que la masturbation du sexe de son amant jusqu'à ce que les deux hommes jouissent ensemble. Smoker se déversa dans la main d'Aokiji qui lui, se répandit dans son homme.
Les deux hommes finirent par s'allonger pour reprendre leur souffle. Aokiji sourit, repensant à ces tous derniers instants, au moment de jouir, où chacun avait murmuré le prénom de l'autre. Peu l'appelait encore Kusan, et ça lui avait fait plaisir de l'entendre de la bouche de son amant. Hatori Smoker non plus n'avait pas l'habitude d'entendre son prénom murmuré, il ne l'aimait pas beaucoup et Kusan le savait bien, ils en avaient discuté un soir peu après l'arrivée du jeune marine pourtant, cette fois-là, après avoir fait l'amour, ça avait été différent. Smoker lui avait ainsi expliqué qu'à part lui et sa collègue Hina, personne ne connaissait son prénom.
En tournant la tête pour le regarder, Aokiji aperçut un sourire se dessiner sur les lèvres de son amant.
— Pourquoi souris-tu ? questionna Aokiji.
— Et toi ?
— J'ai adoré t'entendre prononcer mon prénom quand tu as joui.
— Pareil pour moi, même si en temps normal je n'aime pas qu'on m'appelle ainsi, là, ça m'a excité.
— Et si on ne les utilisait qu'à ce moment-là ?
— Pourquoi pas… À bien y réfléchir, j'en abuserai bien cette nuit de l'entendre susurré par toi, mon prénom…
— Ok, mais à une condition.
— Quoi ?
— T'inquiète pas, je veux juste qu'à présent, tu mènes la danse. Comme ça, peut-être que tu ne t'évaporeras plus et je pourrai t'enlever le bandeau des yeux.
Pour toute réponse, il sentit son compagnon se déplacer et se placer au-dessus de lui. Il l'embrassait et le caressait. Aokiji pensa qu'ils allaient passer une très bonne nuit et un très bon week-end.
On était déjà dimanche soir, pensa Aokiji, et le week-end avait été encore mieux qu'il ne l'avait espéré. Les deux hommes avaient passé leur temps dans les bras l'un de l'autre, entre le lit et les sources chaudes.
À présent, ils étaient rentrés chez eux. Bien épuisés par leur folle virée de fin de semaine – au point d'avoir lâché leurs valises dans le salon –, ils espéraient avoir encore un peu d'énergie pour atteindre leur lit et enfin faire l'amour dans leur appartement.
* * *
Hinata venait de s'éclipser de sa chambre, et se trouvait maintenant sur l'île de Hanami où se déroulait comme tous les ans la fête des fleurs. Toutes les rues étaient aménagées avec des stands de jeux, de nourriture, des spectacles de rue tenus ou animés par des amateurs ou des professionnels. Tous les arbres étaient en fleurs. La jeune fille aimait se promener dans les rues de l'île. L'odeur agréable des fleurs apaisait ses tourments. Alors qu'elle furetait d'étal en étal, humant l'air et mangeant tout ce qu'elle trouvait, elle reconnut bientôt deux silhouettes se dessiner pas si loin d'elle. Les deux hommes se tenaient par la main. C'était un geste très discret, ils étaient collés l'un à l'autre. De loin, on aurait pu croire que leurs doigts se touchaient à peine, mais en regardant de plus près, les mains étaient entrelacées. Hinata sourit devant le spectacle qu'ils lui offraient. Elle se dirigea vers eux, ils étaient en train de regarder l'étalage de miel qui s'offrait devant eux. Tous les miels étaient à base de fleurs. Elle les entendait se demander lequel ils pourraient goûter. Se positionnant derrière eux, elle entama la discussion :
— Bonjour messieurs, ça fait plaisir de vous voir ensemble. Alors, comment se portent les amours ? Vous êtes trop mignon comme ça, main dans la main, à parler de miel.
— Hein ? Quoi ? Qui es-tu ? Questionnèrent en même temps les deux garçons en se retournant en sursaut.
— Vous ne me reconnaissez pas ? Ça m'attriste, après ce que j'ai fait pour vous, dit-elle en faisant mine de se retourner pour partir, quand une main la rattrapa au dernier moment.
— Non, attends Hinata, tu vas bien ? Comment… démarra Aokiji.
— Chut ! fit la jeune fille, plus un mot. Tout va bien et ça me fait plaisir de vous croiser ici.
— Nous aussi, intervient Smoker. J'aurais d'ailleurs une requête à te formuler.
— Laquelle ? murmura-t-elle.
— Tu passerais la soirée avec nous ? continua-t-il.
— Avec plaisir, s'écria-t-elle.
Les trois amis passèrent ainsi toute la soirée à discuter, s'amuser et manger. Vers minuit, ils s'installèrent sur les hauteurs de la ville pour avoir une vue imprenable sur le feu d'artifice lancé depuis la mer. Aokiji profita de la situation pour formuler une pensée à voix haute comme un vœu fait au ciel :
— Hinata, pour la première fois depuis longtemps, je me sens en famille. Avec l'homme que j'aime et ma 'fille'. Alors si tu le souhaites, viens vivre avec nous. On ne te posera pas de question et tu pourras venir quand tu veux, tu auras une clé et tu en feras ce que tu désires.
Pour toute réponse Hinata se jeta dans leur bras en pleurant. Elle agitait la tête frénétiquement de haut en bas pour dire oui. Et c'est ainsi que ces trois-là formèrent leur propre famille pour le meilleur comme pour le pire.
8. Chapter 7
Bonjour à tous,
Je publie la suite des aventures d'Hinata. J'espère que l'histoire vous plait jusque-là, et que la suite vous plaira autant. Ce chapitre est la continuité du 6, et il voit le retour de l'équipage de Luffy. Alors je vous souhaite une bonne lecture de ce petit chapitre. Et le prochain sera… plein d'action. A bientôt.
**Chapitre 7 : Retour sur la mer **
Un long silence s'installa et je m'aperçus qu'il était déjà trois heures de l'après-midi. Sanji se leva et prit la parole :
— Merci pour toutes ces informations, j'aurais certainement quelques questions à te poser mais nous verrons ça un peu plus tard. Pour le moment je vais préparer de quoi manger pendant que tu te reposes un peu.
Tout le monde accepta de bon cœur. Zoro qui d'habitude se serait endormi me regarda avec de grands yeux. Je me demandais si je n'avais pas fait une erreur, il n'avait jamais connu l'amour et moi je lui montrais plein de scènes de viol sans le vouloir, mais certaines images sont passées sans que je le veuille. Je partis m'allonger un moment en attendant que le repas soit prêt. Une fois le déjeuner servi, nous nous sommes installés autour de la table et Sanji parla à nouveau :
— Bon appétit ! Hinata, je suis désolé de t'avoir fait revivre tout ça, je n'aurais pas dû insister… toutefois, certaines choses me tracassent…
— Ce n'est pas grave Sanji, mais avant de te laisser la parole, je tenais à m'excuser auprès de vous. Certaines des images que vous avez vues ont pu vous paraître violentes par moment et je suis consciente des effets que l'on ressent à les « vivre » de cette façon… Mais sachez que l'amour ne se présente pas toujours sous cette forme. D'ailleurs, vous avez pu le constater récemment dans vos rêves…
En un instant, les fourchettes restèrent en l'air, les bouches grandes ouvertes et progressivement les regards se tournèrent vers moi.
— Oui, repris-je. Pour faire simple, ces derniers jours vous avez fait beaucoup de rêves érotiques, n'est-ce pas ? Et vous avez aussi remarqué le comportement un peu… bizarre de tous les animaux près d'ici, non ?
Tous hochèrent la tête sans dire un mot, pendus qu'ils étaient à mes lèvres.
— C'est Apo qui fait ça, ou plus précisément, son fruit du sexe. Le 15 de chaque mois, je suis en ovulation, mes phéromones sont très développées et je peux tomber enceinte car tout ce qui m'entoure est enclin à vouloir faire l'amour, et notamment avec moi. Je vous rassure tout de suite, même si je peux influer sur vos rêves, je ne le fais qu'en cas d'extrême urgence ou de risques potentiels, or ici ça ne se justifiait pas… De plus, j'ai la capacité de révéler aux autres leur vraie nature ainsi que leurs vrais désirs inavoués.
— Bien sûr, tout s'explique par rapport à la phrase d'Apo : « _Hinata te dit qu'elle t'aidera à te comprendre_ ». C'est ce que tu viens d'expliquer, fit remarquer Sanji.
— Oui, fis-je.
— Oh ! Alors je… commença Sanji avant de se mordre la lèvre inférieure.
— Oui, mais on en reparlera plus tard. Je pense avoir déjà répondu à bon nombre de vos questions en vous expliquant qui j'étais, pour le reste – c'est-à-dire ce qui s'est passé cette nuit – je peux maintenant vous révéler les faits : cette nuit un bateau d'esclavagistes est passé pas loin d'ici et une jeune fille s'est sacrifiée en acceptant de coucher avec tout l'équipage du moment qu'ils ne touchaient à personne d'autre. Or, comme c'était le 15 du mois, et étant plus sensible ce jour-là, il m'arrive d'être connectée à des personnes faisant l'amour dans mon voisinage. La connexion peut être si forte que mon esprit se mélange à celui de ces personnes cette nuit toutes mes paroles étaient celles de la fille, c'est pour cela que c'était si incompréhensible pour vous et que je ne pouvais pas vous répondre. Et cette nuit c'était d'autant plus violent qu'il y avait un enjeu de taille : respecter le 'contrat' que la jeune fille avait passé avec l'équipage – c'est-à-dire la maintenir consciente et en vie pendant tout le temps de la torture qu'elle subissait pour éviter qu'ils s'en prennent aux autres – et pour ce faire, la soutenir, lui parler, la réconforter du mieux que je pouvais en essayant de prendre ses souffrances pour l'en soulager le plus possible. Cette jeune fille s'est sacrifiée pour épargner une gamine de cinq ans qui était la 'proie' initiale, je ne pouvais pas l'abandonner… D'autres questions ?
Sanji allait intervenir, mais Mihawk lui coupa la parole.
— Non ! fit Mihawk. Sanji, moi aussi je veux plus de détails mais on va attendre. Je pense que Hinata nous dira ce qu'on doit savoir en temps et en heure. Je pense aussi qu'elle veut qu'on vous suive, elle et moi, jusqu'au moment où on retrouvera Aokiji et tous ceux qu'elle veut rencontrer, c'est bien ça Hinata ?
— Tout à fait, tu es vraiment brillant Mihawk, et ça me plaît bien, dis-je en souriant.
— Merci, me répondit-il avec le même sourire.
— Oh une dernière chose Zoro, fis-je, Léna te remercie de ne pas avoir tué Daz.
— De rien… répondit-il dans un sourire gêné.
Alors qu'on finissait de manger, la porte s'ouvrit en grand, claqua contre le mur et une voix se fit entendre :
— Sanji ! À manger ! J'ai faim moi ! cria Luffy.
— Bonjour capitaine. Tu serais prié de ne pas toucher à notre bouffe, abruti, précisa Sanji.
— J'ai faim ! reprit Luffy.
— Urusei ! cria Zoro.
— Salut Zoro. Cool t'es avec Sanji, on avait peur que tu te sois perdu tout seul.
— Grrr… fit Zoro entre les dents.
— Eh vous autres, venez par ici, ils sont ici tous les deux, cria Luffy.
— Gueule pas si fort ! surenchérit Zoro.
— Et eux là, c'est qui ? fit Luffy en nous voyant avec Mihawk. Ah si ! Toi je te connais, t'es Mihawk. T'as essayé de m'arrêter pendant la guerre, mais comme Zoro m'a dit que tu l'avais aidé à devenir plus fort ces deux dernières années, ça ira pour cette fois. De toute façon, il veut te battre, dit-il dans un grand éclat de rire. Mais toi, t'es qui ?
— Moi, c'est Hinata.
— Ah ouais ? répondit Luffy.
— Luffy, parle mieux à cette jeune fille je te prie, dit Sanji.
— Quoi !? Cette gosse ? Nooon… ? Me dis pas qu'elle t'intéresse…
— Luffy s'il te plaît ! De plus... commença Sanji
— Pardon, le coupais-je, je me suis mal présentée : je suis Hinata, la nouvelle élève de Mihawk et on s'est aussi retrouvé ici à cause de la tempête. Notre bateau a été détruit. Capitaine, pourriez-vous s'il vous plaît nous accorder le droit de monter à bord de votre bateau le temps qu'on ait une nouvelle embarcation.
— Ouais, dit Luffy, ça peut être amusant, rajouta-t-il.
Mes trois camarades me regardèrent en silence, ils avaient tous promis de ne rien révéler à qui que ce soit, et surtout pas à Luffy. Le reste de l'équipage entra dans la cabane et, après des présentations rapides puis après leur avoir raconté un peu ce qui s'était passé – en omettant volontairement ce qui me concernait –, on décida d'embarquer et de quitter l'île.
— Pas facile de vous retrouver avec toutes ces petites îles. Pour la peine Zoro, j'augmente ta dette, ça t'apprendra à te faire emporter par une petite vague, ironisa Nami.
— Ça va pas non, et puis quoi encore sale sorcière, cria Zoro.
— Ta, ta. Quant à toi Sanji, t'as intérêt à rattraper le fait que tu nous aies abandonné sans cuisinier ! Si tu savais comme on a mal mangé, rajouta-t-elle.
— Tout ce que tu veux Nami chérie, fit Sanji les yeux en forme de cœur.
— C'est de ça dont je te parlais, Sanji et les femmes ! Zoro me gratifia d'un grand sourire en disant ça.
— Oui, oui je sais, plaisantais-je.
— T'es jaloux marimo ? T'as pas assez d'amour ? Tu veux que je te donne plus d'attention peut être ? dit Sanji en rigolant.
— Urusei, je vais te tuer baka cook…
— Vous êtes vraiment de grands gamins je trouve, remarquais-je en rigolant.
Et pendant que tout le monde riait à gorge déployée, les deux hommes repartirent dans ce qui semblait être leurs chamailleries régulières d'adolescents. Sanji essayait de frapper Zoro avec ses pieds et ce dernier se défendait avec ses sabres. J'étais subjuguée par le ballet qui se déroulait sous mes yeux.
— Nami, avec Mihawk nous vous sommes très reconnaissants de votre geste. Vous nous direz ce qu'on vous doit ? demandais-je.
— Euh… rien, vous êtes nos invités, dit-elle hésitante.
— Merci Nami. Sachez qu'il est moins méchant qu'il n'y paraît – fis-je en désignant Mihawk de la tête – il est comme Zoro, je rajoutai avec un grand sourire.
Nami me sourit en levant les yeux au ciel : on s'était comprise.
— Si je puis me permettre, j'aurais un service à vous demander.
— Oui, répondit Nami.
— J'aimerais qu'on se dirige vers l'est, ensuite je vous laisserai reprendre le cours de votre voyage.
— Vous voulez qu'on vous dépose vers l'est ? interrogea Nami.
— Non, je veux juste aller rendre visite à des amis ce petit détour ne devrait pas prendre plus de quelques heures.
— Dit oui Nami chérie, demanda Sanji.
— On y va, fit Zoro.
— Visiblement, tout le monde est déjà d'accord… répondit Nami.
Tout le monde fit oui de la tête, et nous sommes partis vers l'est.
9. Chapter 8
Bonjour à tous,
Je vous remercie de suivre cette fiction. Aujourd'hui un peu d'action. La semaine prochaine un peu plus de… vous verrez bien. J'espère que ce chapitre vous plaira. Je vous dis à jeudi prochain. Et encore merci de suivre cette histoire.
**Chapitre 8 : Le bateau d'esclaves**
Nous avons rattrapé le bateau d'esclaves dans la nuit il avait fait escale sur une petite île.
— J'y vais seule, dis-je.
— Attends ! me dit Mihawk.
— Je sais ce que tu vas dire… Et m'adressant à mes trois compagnons de voyage : Vous savez qui ils sont s'il vous plaît, c'est à moi de le faire.
— Ok ! dirent-ils tous ensemble.
— Chopper ? demandai-je.
— Oui, répondit-il.
— Tu es le médecin du bateau, peux-tu préparer des médicaments et des crèmes pour des blessures faites par des fouets et autres armes contondantes.
— Oui bien sûr, confirma Chopper.
— Bien je vous envoie le navire avec les blessés.
Je m'avançai sur le bord du bateau et plongeai. Sous l'eau je libérai Apo qui prit en main la suite des évènements. Elle se dirigea vers l'autre bateau, resta un moment dessous et analysa la situation : tous les esclaves se trouvaient dans des prisons en fer dans les cales sur le pont et dans le reste du bateau, il y avait quelques esclavagistes mais le gros de l'équipage était descendu sur l'île. Le plan était simple : grimper sur le navire en se hissant le long de la chaine attachée à l'ancre du bateau une fois arrivée, Apo chercherait les matelots et les prendrait par surprise un par un, les égorgeant pour la plupart ou les poignardant au cœur, cela devrait être rapide, sans douleur, et sans bruit, c'est comme ça que la marine lui avait appris à tuer. Et elle s'exécuta aussitôt. Après avoir décimé tout le monde, elle descendit dans les cales et libéra les esclaves. Elle passa devant une cellule où se trouvait, esseulée, la jeune fille violentée dans la nuit. D'un simple regard, elles se comprirent.
— Que tout le monde se taise et m'écoute bien, dit à haute voix Apo. Tous les esclavagistes à bord sont morts, maintenant je vais aller m'occuper des autres sur la plage. Pendant ce temps, je vais envoyer ce vaisseau vers celui d'où je viens. Vous, vous allez rester ici et remonterez sur le pont dès que le bateau sera stabilisé auprès de l'autre un médecin sera là pour vous soigner, ok. Elle, vous la laissez là, je viendrai m'en occuper moi-même et je la libèrerai, personne ne la touche avant mon retour ! Faites-le savoir à l'équipage si on vous pose des questions. Une dernière recommandation, ne parlez de moi qu'à la troisième personne s'il vous plaît et pas de questions, merci, précisa Apo d'un ton qui imposait le silence.
Tout le monde accepta d'un hochement de tête et Apo remonta sur le pont. Elle commença par relever l'ancre tout en traversant le pont supérieur pour sauter dans l'eau. Quand elle arriva sur la plage, elle tendit le bras et les voiles du navire se gonflèrent et il s'éloigna dans la nuit vers l'équipage de Chapeau de paille. Elle devint invisible et partit en chasse.
Sur le bateau de Chapeau de paille, cela faisait une demi-heure qu'ils attendaient quand un grand vaisseau arriva à leur hauteur et s'arrêta. Chopper et les autres prirent de quoi soigner les personnes qu'Hinata leur envoyait. En montant à bord, ils trouvèrent quelques cadavres puis les esclaves qui montaient des cales.
— Où est-elle ? demanda avec empressement Mihawk.
— Elle nous a dit de monter quand le bateau serait arrêté et qu'un médecin s'occuperait de nous. Elle a dit aussi qu'elle allait sur la plage pour s'occuper des autres, répondit un homme.
— Et la jeune fille de cette nuit ? fit Sanji.
— Elle a dit de la laisser dans la cale, elle irait elle-même sans occuper et elle a insisté pour que personne ne la touche elle savait que vous demanderiez, continua l'homme.
— Chopper, occupe-toi d'eux ! fit Sanji.
— Oui, dit Chopper.
La chasse d'Apo fut fructueuse – tout le reste de l'équipage y passa sans exception – mais elle en garda comme un goût amer, une déception car même s'ils savaient se battre, ces hommes étaient si faibles et leur capitaine si imbu de sa personne, qu'elle n'eut aucun mal à s'en défaire.
Une fois sa vengeance accomplie, elle retourna au bateau en remontant par l'ancre puis je repris le contrôle. Quand Sanji me vit il soupira de soulagement.
Luffy allait me dire quelque chose comme _« pas obligé de tous les tuer »_, mais Zoro l'arrêta en se mettant entre nous, lui signifiant de ne pas insister d'un simple mouvement de tête. À voir l'intervention de Zoro, Luffy comprit que ce devait être important…
Je traversais le bateau, il n'y avait pas un bruit. Tout le monde était fatigué et Chopper s'activait à soulager les dernières victimes de ces bourreaux. Je descendis dans la cale sans que personne ne m'arrête _« les esclaves ont peut-être compris qui j'étais vraiment ou_ _alors ça leur est égal de me voir sous cette apparence ou sous celle d'Apo »._
J'ouvris la cellule et m'approchait d'elle :
— Tu as compris qui je suis ? demandai-je.
— Oui, fit-elle de la tête.
— Je vais t'aider à te sentir mieux, je peux guérir tes blessures, estomper ta douleur en la prenant en moi, et si tu le souhaites, effacer ta mémoire afin que toutes ces souffrances te laissent en paix, lui dis-je.
Dans un murmure plein de sanglots, elle finit par articuler un semblant de réponse :
— Prenez tout… s'il vous plaît… tout… pardon… bredouilla-t-elle.
— Shht, calme-toi, dis-je avec douceur, c'est fini… tu as été très courageuse, merci pour eux…
Elle redoubla de pleurs, aussi je me hâtais de guérir toutes ses blessures, de prendre sa douleur en moi et d'effacer sa mémoire. Puis nous sommes remontées. La joie et l'insouciance étaient revenues chez elle, elle était libre à présent…
— Votre attention s'il vous plaît, dis-je d'un ton sec qui ne souffrait aucune discussion, cette jeune fille est à présent saine et sauve et surtout elle n'aura plus aucun souvenir de l'événement de cette nuit, aussi je vous demande de la laisser tranquille et de ne poser aucune question sur le sujet, merci bien.
— De quoi parlez-vous ? me demanda-t-elle.
— De rien, répondis-je avec un grand sourire, tu as reçu un coup et tu t'es évanouie. À présent ça va mieux, tu es guérie.
Puis, se tournant vers le reste du groupe d'esclaves affranchis :
— Bien, écoutez-moi une nouvelle fois ! Certains d'entre vous savent-ils naviguer ?
Quelques personnes se manifestèrent pour acquiescer.
— Parfait, repris-je, je vais vous envoyez sur une île où se trouve la sœur d'un ami. Elle tient un orphelinat et s'occupe d'anciens esclaves, elle vous donnera une nouvelle identité et un nouveau foyer. Vous ne pourrez pas retourner chez vous dans l'immédiat car vous alliez être vendus aux Tenruybito. A leurs yeux, vous leur appartenez encore et ils chercheront à vous retrouver par tous les moyens. Vous direz à votre hôtesse qu'Ève vous envoie auprès d'elle, elle saura quoi faire, leur expliquai-je.
— Merci, me dit l'un d'eux.
— De rien. Pourriez-vous juste lui donner un dernier message de ma part ?
— Bien sûr, continua-t-il.
— 'Ève a quitté Adam car elle a eu peur de ses sentiments, alors si tu vois Adam prends soin de lui'. Ça sera tout, merci… j'espère qu'elle ne m'en voudra pas trop… dis-je pour moi-même
— Pas de problème, je lui communiquerai le message, me dit l'homme.
— Si Chopper a fini, on va vous laisser partir, vous avez de la route à faire et nous aussi. Pour éviter les épidémies pendant le voyage, jetez les cadavres à la mer. Et prenez ceci, c'est un log pose qui vous indiquera le chemin à suivre.
Puis nous avons quitté le bateau en leur laissant de quoi se soigner et se nourrir.
La nuit avait été longue et il était temps d'aller dormir, mais comme il n'y avait plus de chambres libres, il fut décidé que Sanji partagerait sa chambre avec Zoro et que Mihawk et moi prendrions celle de Zoro. Alors que le reste de l'équipage partait se coucher, mes trois compagnons et moi-même restions un moment sur le pont à bavarder :
— Les garçons ! Vous m'entendez ? Je préfère qu'on communique par télépathie. Ma voix raisonnait dans nos têtes.
— Que s'est-il passé ? demanda Sanji.
— Rien de grave, j'ai tué tout le monde… du moins, Apo a tué tout le monde, répliquais-je.
— Et avec la fille ? demanda Zoro.
— La même chose que ce que t'a fait Kuma après le combat avec Moria. J'ai pris sa souffrance physique et mentale, comme tu as pris celle de Luffy, et après j'ai guéri ses blessures et pour finir j'ai effacé sa mémoire. Elle ne se souviendra plus jamais de rien.
— Et toi ça va ? demanda Mihawk.
— La routine ! lançai-je d'un rire froid.
— Hinata ! fit Sanji attristé.
— Ça va, je t'assure, je vais bien, mais maintenant je veux bien aller dormir…
— Alors allons-y, fit Mihawk. Sanji tu nous amènes à nos appartements.
— Oui, suivez-moi.
— Une dernière question, demanda Zoro, pourquoi de la télépathie quand on est seul ?
— Désolé, mais je doute qu'on soit vraiment seul ! Prenez-moi pour une paranoïaque si ça vous fait plaisir, mais ayant le même pouvoir que Robin, je sais combien il est facile d'espionner, on voit tout et on entend tout. Il n'y a pas que ses bras et ses pieds qui peuvent se dédoubler… et puis, elle a passé ces deux dernières années avec Dragon, pour moi c'est largement suffisant pour être d'autant plus méfiante, même si je sais que vous l'appréciez…
— Ok, me fit Zoro
Les deux autres acquiescèrent et même si Sanji semblait gêné, il comprenait. Nous avons souhaité bon courage à Zoro qui s'était porté volontaire pour la garde de nuit. Puis nous nous sommes souhaités bonne nuit et sommes allés nous coucher.
10. Chapter 9
Bonjour à tous,
Merci à tous ceux qui me suivent depuis le début et tous ceux qui viennent lire mon histoire. Vos reviews me font vraiment très plaisir. Je vous rappelle que j'ai écrit cette histoire il y a deux ans et que j'ai pris des libertés avec le caractère des personnages pour qu'ils collent à mon histoire. Aujourd'hui je vous offre les deux premiers lemon que j'ai écrit j'espère que vous ne serez pas trop dur avec moi - mais si vous avez le temps, faites-moi savoir ce que vous en avez pensé dans une review. Merci d'avance même si je vous en ai déjà fait lire un dans le chapitre 6.5 que j'ai écrit récemment, car je trouvais qu'il devait être fait pour mieux comprendre certaine relation. Bon sinon encore merci de me lire, en espérant que ce chapitre vous plaisent aussi. A jeudi prochain.
**Chapitre 9 : La vie à bord du Sunny Go **
La navigation se poursuivait calmement et les jours passaient sans autre agitation que celle provoquée par les remous de la mer. Les garçons faisaient désormais bien attention à ne me parler que par télépathie quand cela concernait un sujet privé, ils avaient fini par s'habituer. Mais au fil du temps, je me disais qu'il faudrait parler avec eux de leurs rêves, et cela assez rapidement. Un matin, je décidai d'aller voir Sanji, car je sais que c'est lui qui aura le plus de mal à accepter sa nature profonde.
— Laissez la vaisselle, vous autres, je vais aider Sanji aujourd'hui, s'il est d'accord bien sûr ? Sanji ? demandais-je tout sourire.
— Oh ! oui, Hinata chan, ça me fait très plaisir que tu viennes m'aider.
— Je peux aussi t'aider pour le repas, je serai ton assistante.
— Avec plaisir, Hinata chan.
Sur ces entrefaites, tout le monde sortit de la cuisine pour vaquer à ses occupations et nous nous sommes retrouvés tous les deux.
— Sanji, je peux te poser une question ?
— Oui, bien sûr.
— Je me demandais pourquoi tu ne posais pas plus de questions à propos de la phrase d'Apo sur l'île. Est-ce que c'est la peur ou…
— Non ! non, c'est juste que… Peut-on en parler comme ça ?
— Oh oui, on est que tous les deux, pas d'oreilles ni d'yeux indiscrets dans la pièce. Vas-y je t'écoute.
— Ok. Eh bien voilà, j'imagine que tu sais tout sur moi ?
J'écoutais religieusement ses paroles.
— Je peux comprendre et accepter beaucoup choses, mais là en fait, je sais plus quoi penser…
— Je comprends. D'après toi, cela serait lié aux deux dernières années que tu as passé sur l'île Kedétrav ou éventuellement à notre présence dernièrement sur la petite île, tous ensemble, avec cette proximité que nous avions, notamment la nuit… mais tu ne penses pas que ça peut venir de toi, c'est bien ça ?
— J'aime les femmes, dit-il comme pour se justifier.
— Tu peux être bi, ou tout simplement n'être attiré que par un homme, sans qu'on parle pour autant d''amour' si ça te gêne…
— Merci de ton attention, dit-il dans un grand sourire.
Je lui rendis son sourire, pour prouver ma sincérité, et je rajoutai :
— Puis-je être franche avec toi ?
— Oui, vas-y.
— Je ne renie pas le fait que tu aimes les femmes, mais je pense que ce que tu ressens pour lui est différent de ce que tu ressens pour les femmes ou les autres hommes, il t'est particulier. Tu as été énormément choqué par ces deux dernières années, et je peux le comprendre, je l'aurais été aussi si j'avais été un homme et qu'on veuille me mettre une robe. Mais là, je te dis pas de devenir une femme partager une relation avec un autre homme ne fait pas de cette personne une femme.
Sanji me regardait d'un air à la fois surpris et gêné. Je poursuivis :
— Visiblement, tu n'as pas l'air d'en être sûr, et c'est ça qui te gêne de ce que j'ai pu voir et ressentir à travers toi, tu penses qu'il te demandera de changer pour te féminiser. Mais lui, s'il éprouve la même chose que toi pour ta personne, c'est qu'il t'aura choisi pour ce que tu es, un homme qui s'assume. Peut-être serait-il bien à présent que tu tombes quelques masques et que pour la première fois tu évoques son nom à voix haute. Ça te soulagerait certainement. Après tu pourras me raconter certains de tes rêves si tu le souhaites, n'oublie pas que je peux t'aider à les comprendre, fis-je en souriant.
— Oui, tu n'as pas tort. Bon… je commence. Je rêve de mon nakama, Zoro, et je couche avec lui. Mes rêves sont souvent identiques : je suis ici dans la cuisine, je sens deux mains qui m'attrapent et m'enlacent – deux mains d'homme, mais ça ne me dérange pas – ces mains s'accrochent à mon buste, elles sont grandes et puissantes, l'espace d'un instant je me sens partir en arrière et la prise se resserre, là je devine les bras qui accompagnent ces mains, ils forment une croix sur moi et bloquent tout mouvement du haut de mon corps. Je n'ai pas peur, je me sens bien, en sécurité. Je sens que mon dos est appuyé sur quelque chose de dur et mou à la fois, c'est le torse de l'homme à qui appartiennent ces bras si forts et si rassurants. Alors je m'abandonne, je ferme les yeux, me détends et m'appuis sur lui, il est si fort que je peux me laisser aller, il me retient je le sais. Je mets ma tête en arrière pour le voir, mais sa tête est penchée sur moi, dans mon cou, je sens sa respiration, chaude… cela me donne un frisson. Il resserre alors son étreinte, comme pour me réchauffer, puis je sens une pression dans mon cou, deux lèvres m'embrassent. Une langue mouillée passe entre ces lèvres et me lèche le cou puis c'est une aspiration, tel un suçon qui vient m'exciter… il me marque et je trouve ça agréable, ce sentiment qu'il me possède me fait peur et en même temps c'est si 'plaisant' d'appartenir à quelqu'un. Il retire son étreinte, j'ai peur qu'il parte alors je me retourne et là je le vois, il me sourit, c'est Zoro… Ça me semble si naturel. Je l'ai attendu si longtemps. Il m'attrape par les épaules et me fait reculer jusqu'au frigo, il me plaque contre et m'embrasse avec passion, il se serre contre moi, il me dépasse à peine mais se trouve au-dessus de moi. Il a pris mes poignets entre ses mains et les a bloqués au-dessus de ma tête : son torse contre le mien ses jambes entre les miennes son bassin calé contre le mien, il bloque tous mes mouvements mais c'est tellement bon, c'est sauvage et doux à la fois, comment fait-il ? Je sens son désir monter, il retire ses lèvres, il a dû comprendre que je l'ai senti se durcir. On se regarde et d'un commun accord, il agit avec mon assentiment silencieux. Il lâche mes poignets et place mes bras autour de son cou. Ses bras se placent sur mon dos et descendent sur mes reins puis le long de mes fesses, et là il les place en dessous de façon telle que je me sens soulevé dans les airs, il resserre alors son étreinte sur le haut de mon corps, place mes jambes autour de sa taille, puis il cale mieux ses mains sous mes fesses et recule quand il est sûr que je ne tomberai pas. À ce moment-là, c'est moi qui resserre notre étreinte et j'enfouis mon visage dans son cou. Il m'assied sur la table où j'ai mis le couvert, il se penche et balance tout d'un geste pour faire de la place, je devrais être furieux mais je m'en fous, il m'allonge et je me laisse faire. Il se met au-dessus de moi, relève ma chemise et caresse mon torse, il joue avec mes tétons et vient les lécher. Il se relève et me regarde, je rougis de plaisir et de honte de le laisser me faire ça. Il me sourit, attrape mon pantalon, le défait et l'enlève avec mon caleçon. Il me prend dans ses bras et m'installe mieux sur la table : j'ai les fesses au bord de la table, il écarte mes jambes et les lève pour que j'appuie mes pieds sur la table, je suis ouvert à lui, je me sens comme une femme, je veux lui dire non, mais il n'est plus dans mon champ de vision, il s'est accroupi devant moi, il commence à lécher mon sexe puis le prend dans sa bouche, je ne puis retenir un soupir de plaisir. Il s'arrête et je sens sa langue sur mes bourses puis il descend sur mes fesses et va jusqu'à mon intimité, il lèche et joue avec sa langue, il essaie de pénétrer avec, c'est si agréable. Puis il me caresse d'un doigt et me pénètre avec. Au début ça fait une drôle de sensation, un peu mal mais sans trop, puis il bouge, fait des va-et-vient et quand je commence à exprimer du plaisir il introduit un second doigt et il recommence une fellation. Il attend un peu et se relève, il défait son pantalon, se lèche les doigts et les passent sur son sexe puis les retire et me pénètre. Ça fait mal, c'est plus dur et plus gros, il s'arrête pour que je m'habitue puis toujours en silence, il entame un va-et-vient, il a dû sentir que je me détendais. Les va-et-vient étaient lents mais bons et après ils devinrent plus rapides et allèrent plus en profondeur jusqu'au moment où il se soulagea dans un râle de plaisir intense. Puis il se retire n'attendant pas que moi je jouisse. Il se rhabille et quitte la cuisine me laissant seul entre plaisir et douleur et tout cela sans un mot et c'est à ce moment-là que je me réveille.
— Ok, je vois. En fait tu ne lui fais pas confiance. Quand j'écoute ton rêve, je comprends qu'il te donne du plaisir mais partiellement, tu le vois froid et péremptoire, il prend tout et quand il a fini, il part sans rien demander, sans se retourner. Tu penses qu'il se sert de toi comme on pourrait se servir d'une femme pour assouvir ses désirs, et la jeter après. Ce sentiment que tu te féminises semble venir du plus profond de toi, mais pourquoi penses-tu que Zoro pourrait agir de la sorte ?
— Pourquoi pas ? Tu l'as vu, il ne dit jamais rien. Il est froid. On ne sait pas ce qu'il pense, son visage est sans expression…
— Je sais, mais moi j'ai vu ses rêves et crois-moi il n'est pas comme ça, en fait tu serais surpris !
— Vraiment ?
— Oui crois-moi, tu devrais lui faire davantage confiance.
— Oui et puis de toute façon qui me dit que lui, il rêve de moi ?
— Je t'assure Sanji, t'es le seul dans ses rêves et j'en dirais pas plus car j'en ai déjà trop dit… fis-je dans un mouvement entre embarras et excitation.
— Je te crois, ça me rassure mais ça me dit pas ce que je dois faire.
— Pour commencer, fais lui confiance et donne-toi du temps pour accepter ce que tu ressens profite de chaque instant avec lui, de chaque contact apprends à les apprécier.
— Bien chef.
Puis arriva l'heure du repas. Avec l'ensemble de l'équipage, nous étions à table et j'observais Sanji qui passait les plats à Zoro, faisant exprès de le toucher, de faire glisser ses doigts le long des mains de Zoro. Parfois il fermait les yeux pour en ressentir tout l'attrait. Et Zoro aimait ça aussi, je le ressentais au plus profond de moi. Sanji avait raison, quoi que Zoro ressente, son visage reste impassible. Alors que chez Sanji, même si c'est imperceptible, on peut le voir l'espace d'un instant.
L'après-midi passa normalement, ainsi que le repas du soir. Enfin vint l'heure d'aller se coucher et ce soir-là c'était Zoro qui devait prendre son tour de garde. Alors que tout le monde allait au lit, je décidai de rester un peu plus longtemps dehors pour parler avec Zoro. Je restais sur la proue du bateau et attendais qu'il vienne à moi cela prit une bonne heure, il avait tourné sur tout le bateau pour m'éviter il savait que j'allais lui parler de ses rêves, il disait rien mais n'en pensait pas moins si les gens savaient, il est plus intelligent qu'il n'y paraît, il ressent les choses.
— Tu veux quelque chose ? me demanda-t-il
— Non, pas vraiment, je prends l'air. C'est un temps estival, alors j'en profite, lui mentis-je, '_bien sûr que je voulais quelque chose de lui_', et toi tu veux quelque chose ?
— Non, je pensais que tu voulais parler.
— Eh bien, pourquoi pas ! Tu veux qu'on aborde un sujet spécial ?
— Urusei, ne te fiche pas de moi ! Je vois ton manège.
— Ok, ok, ne t'énerve pas, tu as raison. J'aimerais qu'on parle d'une chose, mais je veux que tu sois prêt à en parler. Si c'est trop tôt, on verra plus tard…
— Non, c'est bon, je ne suis pas énervé. Tu veux qu'on parle de l'île et de ce qui s'y est passé, je veux dire les rêves et ce que tu nous as montré ? me demanda-t-il.
— Plus de tes rêves, mais on peut parler aussi du reste…
— Tu as parlé avec Sanji ce matin, il a été bizarre toute la journée même si je n'ai pas trouvé ça très déplaisant… au contraire…
— En effet, on a parlé de ses rêves, tu veux savoir qui les peuple ?
— Des femmes ! Surtout Nami 'chérie' et Robin 'd'amour'
— Pff ! Que t'es mignon quand t'es jaloux… Tu me dis que tu l'as trouvé 'bizarre' pour reprendre tes mots, et tu viens encore me dire que ce sont des femmes qui hantent ses rêves ? Haha ! Tu sais très bien qui peuple ses rêves ! fis-je avec aplomb.
— Moi… murmura-t-il timidement.
— Eh bien, on avance, c'est déjà ça ! Et tu ne sais pas la meilleure ? Il peuple aussi les tiens, c'est cool non ?
— Et ça t'amuse ? demanda-t-il énervé.
— Non, je trouve ça bien.
— Tu as parlé à Mihawk ? Il avait l'air troublé aussi sur l'île.
— Non, pas encore, peut être tout à l'heure s'il ne dort pas sinon demain ou un autre jour, pour lui c'est différent. C'est vrai, son rêve portait sur toi, mais ce n'est pas toi qui peuples ses rêves. Dans le cas présent, c'est son instinct qui a senti ta présence près de lui et le reste s'est fait tout seul. Tu lui plais, mais il sait que ton cœur est pris, alors t'inquiète pas et puis son cœur aussi est pris, mais il s'est disputé avec sa moitié.
— Ok, donc il n'y a pas de problème entre nous ?
— Non, c'est ton maître d'arme, point. L'homme que tu dois battre, ça lui suffit, ajoutai-je avec un sourire.
— Qu'attends-tu de moi ?
— Eh bien, qu'on ait une discussion sérieuse sur ton avenir, si tu en veux un avec lui ?
— Je n'y ai pas pensé…
— Vraiment ?
— …
— Quelle répartie, il n'y a qu'avec lui que tu essayes d'avoir toujours le dernier mot ?
— Peut-être, dit-il sur un air de défi.
— Alors ne change pas ça, ça lui plairait pas. Il est comme toi, il ne sait pas trop où il en est. Je veux juste vous aider parce que je vous apprécie.
— Merci… Par quoi veux-tu que je commence ?
— Eh bien, pourquoi pas comme lui ? Tu me dis de qui tu rêves et tu m'en raconte un, celui de l'île ou un autre.
— Ok. On peut parler en toute sécurité ?
— Oui, aucune oreille indiscrète ou œil baladeur.
— Bien, alors je rêve de Sanji et je lui fais l'amour. C'est le soir et je suis de garde, je me trouve dans la salle d'observation du Sunny Go. Je regarde si tout va bien, il n'y a pas un bruit et puis j'entends la porte s'ouvrir. Il se tient sur le pas de la porte avec un plateau à la main. Il s'adosse sur le montant de la porte et me regarde il fume et ça m'énerve, je déteste l'odeur de sa cigarette, mais lui il est beau et je suis sûr qu'il sent bon, il se douche souvent et quand il cuisine, l'odeur qui se dégage de la pièce est aussi bonne que le goût de ses plats. Alors il ne peut que sentir bon et je suis sûr qu'il a bon goût, j'aimerais tellement le goûter. Je ne le lui dirai jamais, cet homme aime les femmes, il s'en vante tellement et il passe son temps à les draguer, alors je le regarde assez perplexe :
_« Que veux-tu ? demandai-je._
— _J'allais dormir, et je me suis dit que peut-être tu voudrais du thé et des gâteaux pour cette nuit, pour passer le temps et te réchauffer, me répond Sanji d'un ton neutre._
— _Oh tu t'inquiètes pour moi ? Tu les as faits pour moi ?_
— _Pas du tout il m'en restait après que j'en ai fait à Nami 'chérie' et Robin 'd'amour'._
— _Donc moi j'ai droit aux restes ? Tu es trop gentil, dis-je sur un ton moqueur._
— _Non je n'ai pas dit ça non plus, oh ! Et puis si tu n'en veux pas je m'en vais._
— _Je n'ai pas dit ça._
— _Alors quoi ? s'énerva-t-il._
— _Rien, laisse tomber._
— _Bon, eh bien si on ne peut pas discuter, je te laisse tout là, et j'y vais. Bonne nuit. »_
» Alors j'avance vers lui d'un pas rapide et lui attrape le bras, le retournant vers moi plus violemment que prévu.
_« Attend ! dis-je._
— _Quoi encore ! me demande-t-il sans me regarder comme blessé par mon attitude._
— _Pardon, je suis lourd parfois, merci d'avoir pensé à moi…_
— _Euh ! De rien. Je vais au lit, peux-tu me lâcher ?_
— _Euh oui. Sanji, ça ne va pas ? Tu veux parler ?__Je sais que je ne suis pas le mieux placé, mais on est nakama alors je suis là si besoin… _
— _Je sais, je suis là pour toi aussi…_
— …
— _Zoro, parle-moi ! J'ai vu que tu avais quelque chose, mais je ne sais pas quoi et ça m'embête._
— _Je ne peux pas, tu ne comprendrais pas, du moins tu me détesterais._
— _Non, tu es mon nakama je ne te jugerai pas. »_
» Alors je mets ma main droite sur sa joue, il ne bouge pas je la fais glisser sur son cou et derrière sa nuque. Je l'amène vers moi et l'embrasse. Je commence par faire glisser mes lèvres sur les siennes, il frissonne mais ne me repousse pas alors je resserre mon étreinte et appuie davantage sur ses lèvres tout en essayant de glisser ma langue dans sa bouche il me laisse faire, sa langue est humide, chaude et douce, c'est si bon… _Oui, il sent bon et il a bon goût_. Je relâche cette étreinte à contre cœur mais je dois lui faire face, faire face à sa réaction. Je pose mon regard sur lui, mais lui a baissé à nouveau la tête et ne bouge pas alors je romps le silence.
_« Sanji ? Je te demande pardon, je n'aurais pas dû…_
— …
— _Tu dois comprendre, tu m'attires mais je sais que seules les femmes t'intéressent et je le respecte. Mais je n'ai pas pu me retenir quand tu as dit '_je suis là pour toi aussi'_… pardon… J'aimerais que tu saches que je ne suis attiré que par toi, mais je ne t'embêterai plus avec ça._
— _C'est rien, je comprends._
— _Merci, mais si un jour tu veux savoir comment ça fait avec un homme je veux bien t'apprendre, ou du moins je veux bien qu'on apprenne ensemble, dis-je dans un sourire. »_
» Il fait un sourire, se retourne et part sans rien dire vers la porte, et là, au lieu de la passer et de s'en aller, il la referme et tourne la clef dans la serrure. Il se retourne vers moi, me fixe droit dans les yeux et dans un murmure à peine audible il me dit :
_« Apprends-moi !_
— _Sanji tu… tu es sûr de toi ? »_
» Il s'avance droit sur moi, se plante devant moi et me fait 'oui' de la tête, je suis si surpris et si excité que je ne sais pas quoi faire, je ne veux pas le croire – je veux partir : _ça doit être un rêve –_ je ferme les yeux, respire à fond et les ré-ouvre, il est toujours là, à me regarder. Je l'embrasse et il se laisse faire, c'est trop beau alors je l'attrape par la taille et le ramène le plus près possible de moi, je le serre comme si je voulais que nous ne fassions plus qu'un. Quand je le lâche il me regarde dans un sourire.
— _Sanji, avant qu'on commence je veux te dire une chose, voilà j'imagine que toi tu n'as jamais imaginé faire l'amour avec un homme, alors que moi oui, et peut-être que certaines choses pourraient te déplaire alors s'il y a une chose qui ne va pas tu me le dis, je veux tout savoir, je veux faire ça bien pour que ça te plaise…_
— _Eh bien, eh bien, que tu peux être bavard quand tu es gêné ! me dit Sanji en rigolant. Maintenant, c'est toi qui t'inquiète pour moi ?_
— _Urusei baka !_
— _Haha ! »_
» Je l'attrape dans mes bras et l'embrasse dans le cou, j'aime quand il rigole, il est si beau, puis je l'entraine vers le matelas qui me sert de lit quand je viens passer la nuit ici. Je l'étends sur le lit et me couche au-dessus de lui, il a l'air gêné.
_« Je te montre et après on change de position, le rassurais-je. »_
» Il me sourit je l'embrasse une fois de plus, j'aime tellement l'embrasser puis je descends une main sur son torse, je le caresse par-dessus sa chemise. Je me redresse, à cheval sur lui, nos deux sexes l'un contre l'autre. À cette idée on rougit – il est si mignon – puis on se met à rire doucement, c'est tellement bon de partager ça avec lui. Je déboutonne sa chemise en partant du bas – je prends tout mon temps, il se laisse faire les yeux fermés – je le sens tressaillir sous certaines de mes caresses, puis j'ouvre sa chemise et là je me décide à l'embrasser. Je commence par le cou, puis les épaules, le torse, je lèche ses tétons, dessine des cercles autours d'eux avec la pointe de ma langue puis en aspire l'extrémité. Sanji expire un râle de plaisir, son torse se lève et suit mes mouvements – _ce son est si agréable, je veux l'entendre encore et encore, ça me fait un effet fou,_ et Sanji aussi est très réactif – je n'aurais jamais cru que ça puisse être aussi enivrant. À présent, je me positionne entre son ventre et son bas ventre. Je m'apprête à défaire son pantalon quand j'entends :
_« Attends, je ne suis pas prêt ! »_
» Je me redresse et remonte vers lui, je l'embrasse sur les lèvres et lui murmure à l'oreille :
_« On a tout notre temps, la nuit est longue, et si tu veux on peut arrêter et reprendre plus tard je ne te force à rien, prend ton temps…_
— _Merci… »_
» Il passe ses mains dans mon dos et resserre notre étreinte. Je m'allonge sur lui en évitant de l'écraser – il a l'air si fragile et si fort à la fois, ça me plaît encore plus – mais je ne veux pas aller trop vite, je veux qu'il prenne du plaisir. Il me caresse et je sens qu'il essaie d'enlever mon t-shirt, je me redresse et le laisse agir puis il passe ses mains sur mon torse nu, se relève un peu et m'embrasse, je le laisse jouer et me rapproche de lui. C'est si bon, ses lèvres sur moi, ses mains qui me caressent.
_« Ça va, tu peux reprendre, me dit-il. »_
» Je recommence à l'embrasser de la même façon que tout à l'heure et je me mets à défaire le bouton de son pantalon là, je vois la fermeture Éclair et je souris, je viens d'avoir une idée et ça m'amuse : j'attrape la tirette du curseur entre mes dents et je la descends en tirant dessus, j'entends Sanji rire. Puis je me relève et lui retire le pantalon et le caleçon, il m'aide en soulevant son bassin, il est nu devant moi, je le contemple.
_« Tu es si beau, soufflais-je._
— _Merci, murmura-t-il en rougissant. »_
» Je le caresse, d'abord les jambes, puis les cuisses et enfin le bassin je l'embrasse mais je ne touche pas à son sexe même s'il se gonfle de plaisir, je veux qu'il soit sûr et qu'il me le demande. Je m'attaque à ses cuisses, je les lèche, je fais un suçon sur l'une d'elle.
_« Tu me marques ? me dit-il._
— _Oh pardon, j'ai fait ça dans le feu de l'action, je ne voulais pas que tu penses ça…_
— _Ne te méprends pas, ça m'a plu. Mais vas-y tu peux continuer, je suis prêt._
— _Sûr ?_
— _Oui ! »_
» Je me mets à embrasser sa verge, je la lèche comme une glace, je descends sur ses bourses puis je remonte le long de son sexe pour le prendre dans ma bouche, il soupire de plaisir je commence des va-et-vient et sa respiration se fait plus saccadée. Il respire plus fort et émet des gémissements de plaisir, cela me donne envie d'aller plus vite, je veux l'entendre jouir mais je veux qu'il ait plus de plaisir alors je retire ma bouche et continue avec les mains, il me dévisage contrarié et son regard me questionne, je souris :
_« Tu me fais confiance ?_
— _Oui. »_
» Positionné à genoux, je soulève ses jambes pour les caler sur mes épaules je bascule son bassin vers le haut et commence à lécher son intimité il se contracte, comprenant où je veux en venir, alors j'arrête, attendant son assentiment et je sens un de ses pieds me taper dans le dos, je reprends et il rigole, on s'est compris. Après avoir passé du temps sur son intimité, je tends mon bras vers lui, et mets mes doigts sur ses lèvres.
_« Lèche-les, demandais-je. »_
» Il me lèche donc les doigts. Je reprends la fellation tout en introduisant en lui un premier doigt. Il se contracte, j'attends et quand il se détend enfin, j'entame un va-et-vient qui se cale sur celui de la fellation j'introduis alors un deuxième doigt.
_« Zoro ! vas-y je suis prêt, je t'assure, ne te retiens plus ! Moi, j'ai du mal à me contenir. »_
» J'enlève mes doigts, finis de me déshabiller en retirant mon pantalon et mon caleçon. Je lèche mes doigts pour mouiller ma verge et finir de la durcir, je pose ses jambes sur le côté, mets mes mains sur son bassin et entre en lui. Il se contracte un moment, puis quand il se relaxe je commence les va-et-vient. Une fois les mouvements en cadence, je reprends sa verge dans une de mes mains et poursuis les va-et-vient en rythme. Il se met à gémir de plus en plus fort et moi aussi.
_« Zoro… hum ! Zoro, plus fort… ne t'arrête pas… vas-y !_
— _Sanji, hum… tu es sûr ?_
— _Oui, souffla-t-il. »_
» Mes va-et-vient deviennent plus forts et plus profonds et dans un moment de pure extase, je ne ressens rien sauf un apaisement. J'éjacule en basculant ma tête en arrière, criant si fort que j'ai cru avoir réveillé tout le monde, mais je m'en fous car je l'entends gémir plus fort que d'habitude, lui non plus ne peut plus se retenir. Quand je reprends conscience de ce qui m'entoure, je le vois en train de gémir, je comprends que lui n'a pas fini alors je reste en lui et augmente les va-et-vient sur sa verge et quelques instants plus tard il crie de plaisir. Il est si beau quand il jouit. Je reste un moment à le regarder. Quand il reprend ses esprits, il me fixe du regard avec un sourire aux lèvres. Puis je me retire, je vais l'embrasser sur le front puis sur ses lèvres et m'allonge à côté de lui. Nous restons comme ça sans parler, l'un contre l'autre main dans la main.
_« Sanji, ça va ?_
— _Oui et toi ?_
— _Oui, merci._
» Tout en rigolant, je me redresse et l'embrasse, puis le toise avec un air de défi, et son regard devint interrogateur.
_« Alors, prêt pour la revanche ?_
— _Hein !_
— _Je te l'ai dit, non ? On change de place quand je t'ai appris comment faire._
— _Maintenant ?_
— _Pourquoi pas ? Déjà fatigué ? Aucune endurance ce love cook…_
— _Quoi ? Tu vas voir marimo ! » _
» Et Sanji pivote sur moi pour se retrouver à cheval sur mon bassin.
_« Qui est déjà fatigué marimo ?_
— _Oh ! Je ne sais pas trop._
— _Tu vas voir. » _
» Et comme revitalisé par la joute verbale, il m'embrasse avec fougue, sourit et s'amuse. Je ne peux me retenir de lui dire :
_« Je t'aime love cook…_
— _Je … je t'aime aussi marimo._
— _Tu n'étais pas obligé de le dire._
— _C'est vrai mais j'en avais envie. »_
» Puis il commence à s'occuper de mon torse, je ressens ce qu'il avait ressenti, je suis à sa merci et c'est le pied. Malgré les efforts fournis juste avant, on est encore plus excité que tout à l'heure, ça va plus vite mais c'est plus intense, alors quand il descend sur ma verge je n'en peux plus. Et nous jouissons une dernière fois à l'unisson, nous sommes si bien.
_« Zoro, je t'aime…_
— _Je t'aime aussi Sanji. »_
— Et c'est là que je me réveille.
— Waouh ! Quand tu le racontes, c'est aussi bien que quand on le vit avec toi.
— …
— Pardon, je n'aurais pas dû dire ça.
— Non, c'est bon.
— Tu sais, tu es un très bon amant et je sais de quoi je parle, il est vraiment bête.
— Pourquoi ?
— Non rien, en fait il n'a pas confiance en toi, mais surtout en lui. Il pense que faire l'amour avec un homme c'est devenir une femme, et donc que tu essayeras de le soumettre. Tu ne dis jamais rien et ça le rend indécis, mais s'il savait, il se donnerait à toi plus facilement. Il va falloir que tu le rassures sur son statut d'homme, mais je ne m'en fais pas pour ça.
— Pff quel baka ce love cook, je n'aime pas les femmes, j'aime les hommes moi… et lui en particulier.
— Haha ! Va falloir le lui faire comprendre. Je lui ai recommandé de te faire confiance et de profiter de chaque instant et de chaque contact avec toi, alors je te conseille de faire pareil. Je lui ai également dit de prendre son temps.
— Ok ça me va, je vais l'attendre.
— Ok, bonne nuit mon grand.
— Bonne nuit ma petite et merci.
— Grrr, pas 'petite' ! je suis plus vieille que toi, criai-je.
Il se mit à rire, et je partis en courant dormir avec Mihawk. J'arrivais dans la chambre et claquai la porte :
— Quel mufle ton élève !
— Hein ? Quoi ?
— Zoro. Il a dit que j'étais petite aucun respect pour ses aînés ce mufle !
— C'est pour ça que tu me réveilles ?
— Oui, pardon…
— C'est rien, tu veux qu'on en parle ?
— Non, mais on peut parler de tes rêves.
— Ah oui, je vois. C'est surtout pour ça que tu m'as réveillé ?
— On ne peut rien te cacher.
— Bon, vient dormir on en parlera plus tard, moi je m'assume, me dit-il dans un sourire, ça peut attendre.
— Ok, bonne nuit.
Je me faufilais dans les draps à côté de lui et m'endormis un sourire aux lèvres.
Le Sunny Go resta une semaine en mer avant de trouver une nouvelle île. Durant la semaine, je me suis amusée au dépend de Zoro et Sanji. Les regarder faire était distrayant, Zoro laissait Sanji prendre ses marques et lui tourner autour. Pendant les repas, Sanji apportait les plats et se mettait toujours à côté de Zoro pour les poser sur la table et frôler ses épaules, ses cuisses. Zoro en profitait aussi, il faisait retomber son bras le long de son corps, nonchalamment, et caressait la jambe de Sanji, parfois aussi sa hanche. Sanji lui passait le plus de plats possibles pour lui caresser les mains. Mais ce qui était le plus amusant, c'était ce qui se passait le soir et le matin. Le soir, quand Zoro faisait des gardes dans l'observatoire, Sanji lui montait un plateau avec thé et gâteau et un verre de saké certains soirs. Il posait le plateau, tapait à la porte, et s'en allait quand Zoro ouvrait ce dernier le voyait descendre, mains dans les poches et cigarette à la bouche et quand il allait pour entrer dans sa cuisine, il levait la tête, regardait Zoro et souriait. Zoro le regardait et lui rendait son sourire et au moment où Sanji disparaissait de sa vue, il prenait le plateau et rentrait dans l'observatoire. Puis lorsque Sanji faisait les gardes, Zoro restait le plus longtemps possible sur le pont en s'entraînant ou en dormant, mais il gardait toujours un œil sur le cuistot, et quand celui-ci le dépassait en souriant, il se décidait à rentrer dormir. Ils étaient trop mignons à observer. Le matin, au moment du petit déjeuner, Zoro se pointait dans la cuisine et s'installait à la table les yeux rivés sur son cuisinier. Et le cuisinier en question en profitait pour regarder son bretteur, tout en silence ou parfois en bagarre. _Ah oui, les bagarres…_ _Comment chercher le contact de l'autre sans se l'avouer vraiment ?_ À chacune d'elle, car il y en avait toujours autant et toujours pour rien, ils prenaient ça pour des caresses, un jeu, des préliminaires tellement amusants. Puis les douches, chaque fois que Zoro finissait ses entraînements, le cuistot faisait toujours exprès de se trouver là, et Zoro sortait délibérément de la douche avec juste une serviette autour de la taille. Sanji passait toujours à ce moment-là près de lui et lui faisait une remarque. Un jour, Sanji trébucha et Zoro le rattrapa, lui tenant les bras quand Sanji releva la tête il était dans les bras du bretteur, les mains sur son torse, leur visage si près qu'ils pourraient s'embrasser. Zoro se pencha et lui murmura à l'oreille _« attention love cook, si tu te blesses qui va aussi bien nous nourrir ? »_ Sanji rougit et partit sans rien dire, quant à Zoro, il sourit de plaisir d'avoir eu le cuistot dans ses bras. Mais il ne se passa rien de plus avant notre arrivée sur la nouvelle île.
11. Chapter 10
Bonjour à tous,
Ce soir une bonne et une mauvaise nouvelles. La bonne, un nouveau chapitre ce soir avec de l'action. Je ne suis pas très doué pour ce genre de scène alors soyez indulgent merci. Sinon pour la seconde nouvelle, voilà, pour des raisons de temps mon beta et moi-même avons pris du retard dans mes corrections de chapitre. Alors même si j'en ai certain d'avance, à cause du travail nous ne pourrons pas corriger pour un moment. Alors pour avoir une publication des plus fluides à partir d'aujourd'hui je vais publier tous les 15 jours. Dès qu'on aura repris les corrections j'espère pouvoir revenir à un chapitre par semaine dans les plus brefs délais. Je vous souhaite donc une bonne lecture et je vous dis a dans quinze jours, le jeudi aussi.
**Chapitre 10 : Bataille avec Big Mom**
Amai. La bien nommée. Il s'agissait d'une grande île, et depuis le bateau, on pouvait voir d'énormes gâteaux, des bonbons… on pensait souvent en la voyant que les habitants vivaient dans des sucreries. Mais en accostant, on comprenait que ces formes faisaient partie de l'architecture de la ville, et que les murs ne se mangeaient pas. Quand on se promenait sur cette île, on ne pouvait passer sur le fait qu'elle sentait bon le chamallow grillé, la canne à sucre ou encore la barbe à papa, la friandise préférée de Chopper. Si on y trouvait des sucreries de toutes sortes on y trouvait surtout Big Mom et ses hommes, certainement la plus féroce des pirates qu'il ait été donné de rencontrer.
Les plus trouillards dans l'équipage voulaient partir car ils ne souhaitaient pas tomber sur elle. Les autres au contraire, comme le capitaine, n'attendaient justement que ça, de la rencontrer et de l'affronter : ils étaient en manque de bastons. Nous avons décidé d'accoster sur l'île : Mihawk, Brook et Zoro voulaient aller voir les armureries Luffy partit avec Franky, Chopper et Usop qui devaient passer par divers apothicaires, ateliers et restaurants Robin et Nami décidèrent d'aller faire les boutiques quant à Sanji et moi-même, nous sommes allés faire les courses. L'île était pleine de commerces de bonbons, et trouver de la nourriture semblait très difficile, on décida de demander aux gens. Ils nous indiquèrent un marché un peu plus au nord de la ville. En arrivant, nous avons découvert un immense marché avec toute la nourriture possible et imaginable. Nous avons traversé les allées, et avons acheté du poisson, de la viande, des légumes et des condiments. Puis nous nous sommes arrêtés devant un étal de vêtements :
— Oh regarde cette robe, me dit Sanji, je suis sûr qu'elle t'irait bien.
— Ah oui tu crois ?
— Oui essaye-la !
— Pourquoi pas ?
J'ai décroché la robe et suis allée dans une cabine de fortune, faite en tissus par les vendeurs, pour l'essayer.
— Oh ! Elle te va très bien et je suis sûr qu'elle ira aussi très bien à Apo, me dit Sanji.
— Merci, je crois que tu as raison.
— Alors prends-là.
— Merci, mais… je n'ai pas d'argent.
— Alors je te l'offre, répondit-il.
— Tu n'es pas obligé, tu sais…
— C'est vrai, mais ça me fait plaisir puis tu es si belle dedans, alors laisse-moi te l'offrir.
— Merci Sanji, dis-je.
Et nous sommes repartis avec la robe. Après une bonne heure de déambulation, nous sommes retournés vers le bateau. En chemin nous avons rencontré nos trois bretteurs, un peu déçus de n'avoir rien trouvé de bien. Nous avons repris notre route tous ensemble, Sanji demanda de l'aide à Zoro pour porter les courses, celui-ci accepta après avoir bien râlé, Mihawk et Brook l'aidèrent aussi, pendant que moi je portais ma robe. Ensuite, nous avons vu les filles revenir avec plein de sacs. Sanji proposa de les porter et en donna certains à Zoro qui râla de plus belle. Sanji se plaça à côté de Zoro et quand ils marchaient côte à côte, leurs mains se frôlaient, ce qui détendit Zoro. Enfin, nous sommes tombés sur les derniers membres de l'équipage qui étaient tous très heureux de leurs achats et du repas qu'ils avaient fait. En revenant tous au bateau, nous avons eu la mauvaise surprise de voir arriver des pirates appartenant à Big Mom.
— Que faites-vous là mugiwara ? demanda un des pirates.
— On fait le plein de provisions et on s'en va, répondit Luffy.
— Comment oses-tu venir sur mon île ? demanda une énorme voix de femme.
— Big Mom ! dis-je à haute et intelligible voix, pour que tout l'équipage m'entende. Je vais dans ma cabine, dis-je à voix basse.
Je décidai de me cacher avec une idée derrière la tête.
— Tu es donc Big Mom, cria Luffy.
— Oui, répondit la femme.
Et une géante énorme avec une bouche gigantesque d'où coulait une substance acide arriva sous leurs yeux. Ils ont tous eu un mouvement de recul tellement elle était effrayante.
— Et moi je suis Luffy, capitaine de l'équipage au chapeau de paille !
— Le morveux qui a mangé tous mes bonbons et m'a défié pour me reprendre le contrôle de l'île des hommes poissons ?
— Ouais c'est moi, je n'aime pas quand on s'en prend à mes amis.
— Tes amis ? Les hommes poissons ?
— Ouais, ça te pose un problème ?
— Non, ça m'amuse. Eh bien, eh bien, on va donc s'amuser. J'ai faim alors je vais tous vous manger, fit Big Mom.
— Préparez-vous, on va devoir se battre ! Mihawk, reste en dehors, tu es un invité et de plus un shichibukai, ajouta Luffy.
— Ok, dit Mihawk, je vais donc vous regarder 'survivre' et tenter de protéger le bateau, étant donné que je compte bien repartir d'ici dessus…
— Parfait ! répondit Luffy tout en se préparant à combattre.
Tous les mugiwara descendirent du bateau pour éviter de l'abîmer. Les deux équipages se firent face quand Big Mom cria pour démarrer la bataille. Luffy se jeta en avant vers Big Mom, suivi de Sanji et Zoro les autres se séparèrent en deux groupes, l'un à droite, l'autre à gauche. Robin, Usop, et Brook allèrent à droite Franky, Chopper et Nami, à gauche. Le combat battait son plein, les mugiwara tenaient la distance même si ceux d'en face étaient plus forts et mieux rôdés aux combats. Je décidai d'entrer en scène, l'équipe du milieu avait besoin d'être soutenue en premier. Luffy se battait seul contre l'impératrice. Sanji et Zoro avaient attiré à eux les plus combattifs des opposants et étaient un peu surchargés pour aider Luffy. Après avoir bien réfléchi et analysé la situation, j'avais trouvé un moyen de les aider et maintenant je passais à l'action, _« je n'allais pas les abandonner, je m'étais attachée à eux, même à Robin »_. J'ai projeté ma première attaque et tout le monde autour de Sanji et Zoro se retrouva à terre, et dans l'air, flottait comme la sensation que tout espoir et toute volonté s'en étaient allés, c'est alors que surgirent des corps éparpillés au sol des halos tels des fantômes qui récitaient comme des litanies de râles, s'estompant dans un écho telle une brise refroidissant l'atmosphère l'espace d'un instant puis un rire derrière eux les ramena à la réalité : une jeune fille habillée d'une drôle de façon riait aux éclats, elle bougea les bras et les fantômes attaquèrent les ennemis des autres membres de l'équipage de mugiwara. Cela permit à tout le monde d'en profiter pour mettre hors de service plusieurs de leurs adversaires. Zoro semblait furieux, pourtant il savait qu'elle ne lui ferait pas de mal, certains se demandèrent ce qu'elle faisait là, mais lui la connaissait bien, il avait passé les deux dernières années avec elle.
— Qu'est que tu fous là toi ? dit Zoro.
— Quel accueil ! Tu ne changes pas : je te soigne pendant deux ans, je t'aide à retrouver tes amis, je vous soutiens, et voilà comment tu me remercies, répondit la fille.
— Ouais, ouais, tu fous quoi ici, Pérona ? hurla-t-il.
— Je te porte secours imbécile et ne hurle pas comme ça ou c'est toi que j'attaque, hurla en retour Pérona.
— Hahaha ! Vous êtes trop drôle, très bonne idée je trouve, tu es très forte, dit Sanji dans un grand sourire.
— Hein ?! répondit Zoro.
— Rien mon grand, je t'expliquerai plus tard. Pour l'instant profitons de tout l'appui possible, fit Sanji toujours aussi joyeux, le sourire aux lèvres, et toi – en s'adressant à la fille – montre-moi de quoi tu es capable.
Pérona sourit et reçut un coup de feu qui la traversa. Elle se mit à rire de plus belle.
— Je suis un fantôme idiot, persifla Pérona avant d'envoyer ses fantômes vers l'homme au pistolet.
Pérona sourit et regarda Sanji et Mihawk. Ils avaient compris que Pérona n'était pas là, que c'était moi – Hinata – qui me servais de mes pouvoirs pour faire apparaître Pérona, et utiliser en toute impunité les propriétés du fruit du « Horo Horo no mi ». Je fis exploser quelques fantômes, mais avec ce corps je ne pouvais pas combattre alors je décidais de me retirer après une ultime attaque.
— Je vous laisse le reste, moi je me tire, exprima Pérona à haute voix.
— Merci pour tout, jeune fille, fit Sanji avec un sourire ravageur.
— De rien ! La prochaine fois qu'on se voit, vous me ferez un bon repas, Zoro m'a dit que vous étiez le meilleur des cuistots, dit Pérona.
— J'ai jamais dit ça, je ne t'ai jamais parlé de Sanji, hurla Zoro.
— Oh, vraiment ? Ce n'est pas gentil, ajouta doucement Sanji comme blessé.
— Hein ?! s'exclama Zoro.
— Non rien… C'est promis jeune fille ! fit Sanji.
— Bye ! répondit Pérona en levant la main.
Pérona disparu du champ de bataille.
— Sanji… commença Zoro.
— Plus tard baka, on est sur un champ de bataille et moi non plus je n'ai pas parlé de toi pendant deux ans, dit-il en souriant pour faire comprendre qu'il n'était pas vraiment blessé.
Le combat continuait quand subitement une tempête de sable se leva, emportant quelques ennemis au loin pour les fracasser sur des rochers. Puis un homme se posa au côté de l'équipe de Nami alors qu'à côté de Luffy – mis à terre par l'impératrice – semblait se matérialisait une forme humaine. L'homme était grand, il se mit à rire et aspira un peu d'eau du corps de l'impératrice qui fut déstabilisée.
— Eh ! Qu'est-ce que tu fous connard ? C'est mon combat, t'en mêle pas ! hurla Luffy.
L'homme se mit à rire à gorge déployée.
— T'inquiète pas Chapeau de paille, je l'ai pas tuée, elle est à toi. Mais pour répondre à ta question, disons que je passais par là et je me suis dit : « _Pourquoi on n'irait pas se battre ?_ ». Tu m'excuses ? Mais contre un tel équipage, c'est pas tous les jours qu'on peut le faire. De plus le tien manquait d'équilibre, fit l'homme.
— De quel équilibre parles-tu Crocodile ? hurla Luffy.
— De tes bretteurs ! Tu en as deux et vous êtes trois équipes, il t'en fallait un de plus pour équilibrer les équipes et les forces des combattants. En intervenant, je t'en prête un en soutien, en la personne de Daz Bonnes.
Luffy regarda autour de lui et vit Daz – alias 'Mister 1' – se battre avec des épées et soutenir Nami, pendant que Brook était de l'autre côté et Zoro derrière lui en soutien.
— Ok j'ai pas tout compris là, mais…
— Ça suffit ! cria Sanji, laisse-le faire et fais-lui confiance pour l'instant, je t'expliquerai plus tard.
Luffy regarda Sanji d'un air ahuri, et vit Mihawk sur le bateau qui l'observait avec un grand sourire, acquiesçant de la tête.
— Ok ! fit Luffy et regardant Crocodile droit dans les yeux, il ajouta, mais toi tu ne te mets pas sur mon chemin, elle est à moi !
Crocodile hocha la tête, redevint une tempête et alla se battre ailleurs. Même avec cette aide, l'équipage ne prenait que très peu le dessus, alors je décidai d'ajouter une force en plus. Le temps commença à se gâter et le ciel devint obscur, puis un homme en noir apparut et un grand coup de vent fit rage, balayant des ennemis, accélérant et renforçant par la même occasion les tornades de Crocodile.
— Toi… ? Mais qu... ? Que fais-tu là ? bégaya l'impératrice.
— Moi ? rien de particulier, je passais par-là, fit l'homme.
— Toi aussi ? ironisa l'impératrice.
— Qui est-ce ? fit Usop.
— Je suis Dragon le révolutionnaire.
À ce nom, tout le monde s'arrêta de combattre.
— Alors explique-nous pourquoi il y a deux Dragon ? fit l'impératrice.
— Quoi ? fit Dragon.
— Elle te demande pourquoi tu te fais passer pour moi ? dit un homme derrière Dragon.
Dragon se retourna et vit l'homme debout sur le Sunny Go.
— Toi ? fit Dragon hésitant, puis fou de rage, il s'écria : Que fais-tu là ? T'es jamais là quand il le faut, et le jour où il faut pas que tu sois là, tu te pointes, sale enfoiré…
— Quoi ? fit le Dragon sur le bateau un peu déconcerté.
En un instant, tout le monde se regarda pour chercher à comprendre : Cro, Daz Bonnes et le Dragon présent sur le lieu de combat disparurent sans crier gare et seul Sanji et Mihawk semblaient avoir compris ce qui paraissait se tramer. Je repris mes esprits depuis ma cabine et me jetai hors de celle-ci pour rejoindre le vrai Dragon. Il me regarda d'un air bizarre comme s'il y avait un truc qui clochait : _« Que fait cette gamine de dix ans sur ce bateau et que me veut-elle ? »_ pensa-t-il. Je lui lançai un coup de pied dans les jambes et je hurlai :
— Je ne suis pas une gamine de dix ans et je te demande ce que tu fous là sale enfoiré ?
— Comment ? Mais… Alors c'était toi qui te faisais passer pour moi… ?
— Oui salopard, dégage ou je te tue et je ne rigole pas !
Je fis alors parcourir tout le long de mon corps le pouvoir de Léna et le haki pour qu'il comprenne que j'étais sérieuse.
— Je te crois et ton pouvoir à l'air plus grand que je ne le pensais. Je ne sais pas ce que je t'ai fait, mais… ? commença Dragon.
— Ce que tu m'as fait ? le coupai-je en hurlant, tu…
— Ça suffit ! siffla Mihawk, tu es sur un champ de bataille, reprends-toi !
— Hmm, tu as raison – répondis-je, puis regardant Dragon – je m'occuperai de toi plus tard – et m'adressant à l'impératrice – je m'appelle Hinata et je suis une amie de cet équipage.
— Je vois. Ton pouvoir est impressionnant et si j'ai bien compris, tu étais la fille fantôme, le bretteur, Crocodile et Dragon ? Je vois que t'es pas à prendre à la légère…
— Et t'as pas tout vu, répondis-je dans un sourire.
— Alors j'ai hâte de voir ! répondit Big Mom.
— Luffy s'est fait un point d'honneur de s'occuper de toi en personne, mais si tu le permets, j'aimerais en finir avec ton équipage !
— Si tu y arrives ?! me défia-t-elle.
— Ça devrait aller, j'ai tellement les crocs que je n'en ferai qu'une bouchée ! dis-je avec délectation. Quant à vous autres, dis-je à l'équipage de Luffy, vous avez l'air exténués, allez vous reposer je prends la relève.
— Tu rigoles ! On est l'équipage du futur roi des pirates ! me répondirent-ils tous en chœur.
— Ok, ça me va ! Alors, je serai votre renfort.
— Toute seule ? fit l'impératrice.
— Non ! répondit une voix derrière nous.
Je la connaissais et je ressentais plusieurs puissances que je reconnaissais tout autour de nous.
— Mais qu… ? fit l'impératrice.
— J'ai dit qu'elle n'était pas seule, scanda-t-il d'une voix forte. Et elle ne le sera jamais tant qu'elle aura besoin de nous, pas vrai les mecs ?
— Hai ! firent plusieurs hommes.
Chacun d'entre eux se plaça de part et autre de Dragon et moi-même.
— Crocodile, fit-il, le seul et unique !
— Daz Bonnes ! s'exclama la personne à côté de Crocodile.
— Aokiji, ex-amiral de l'armée, continua le voisin de Dragon.
— Moi, c'est Shanks, dit l'homme aux côtés d'Aokiji.
— Jimbei, pour vous servir.
— Yasop, père d'Usop, je me devais d'être là !
— Charmantes, ces retrouvailles, mais si on passait aux choses sérieuses, je me ferai bien un crocodile en guise de plat de résistance, coupa l'Impératrice.
Je me mis à rire et lançai :
— T'inquiète la grosse, on ne t'a pas oublié, au contraire. Qui pour me suivre ?
Tout le monde leva la main mais Shanks ouvrit la bouche :
— Avec mon équipage et Mihawk, on va rester en retrait pour protéger les bateaux, tu comprends.
— Ouais ça me va, à nous cinq comme renfort, ça devrait aller, lui assurais-je. Daz et Aokiji à gauche, Cro et Jimbei à droite et moi je pars devant, ok ?
— Ok, répondirent-ils ensemble.
— Alors dispersion ! répliquai-je.
Mais je restais un moment sur le bateau à regarder Dragon :
— Quant à toi, lui dis-je, fais ce que tu veux, mais en tant que révolutionnaire tu devrais rester là et pas t'en mêler pour l'instant.
— Je comprends, me répondit Dragon, je serai donc le dernier soutien.
— Ok, puis regardant l'impératrice, je lui demandais : Tu tiens vraiment à savoir qui je suis ?
— Oui ! répondit-elle.
— Alors comme tu vas mourir, je consens à faire une exception pour toi car après mon passage, il n'y aura plus beaucoup de vivants de ton coté.
J'entendis les rires ennemis et je continuai :
— Je demande juste à mes alliés qui comprendront en partie qui je suis d'avoir la gentillesse d'attendre la fin des combats pour plus d'explications. Alors voilà, je suis Hinata D. Monkey, fille de Dragon D. Monkey le révolutionnaire et petite fille du marine Garp D. Monkey et donc demi sœur aînée de Luffy au chapeau de paille. Je suis aussi la fille d'Isabelle, elle-même fille de Sengoku le Bouddha ex-chef de la marine. De plus la femme de Sengoku n'était autre que la sœur de l'ancien roi de Marie-Joie, donc actuellement ayant son sang et épousé son héritier je suis la reine de tout être peuplant cette planète. Et ce n'est que le début.
— Le début !? me fit-elle les yeux exorbités par ce qu'elle venait d'entendre.
— Oui ! répondis-je.
Je pris alors l'apparence d'Apo… :
— Moi c'est Apo sa grande sœur, celle qui se bat je suis née à travers les mains de la marine, et voici celle qui d'entre nous est née en même temps que Hinata et qui s'est révélée à la mort d'Isabelle.
… puis de Léna qui grogna en guise de salut :
— Moi c'est Léna, le coté loup de Hinata. Nous devons notre condition de loup garou à la morsure qu'Isabelle a reçu pendant sa grossesse. C'est encore moi qui fais le plus de ravage…
Léna sauta à terre et se mit à grandir. Bientôt, elle fut aussi impressionnante que Big Mom et elle toisa cette dernière de son regard carnassier :
— Luffy si tu as besoin, je suis là. Mais sache que tout comme elle, je mange tout ce qui se présente sous mes yeux, notamment la chair humaine dont je suis extrêmement friande… bien plus que des sucreries, ajouta-t-elle dans un rire effrayant, puis défiant à nouveau l'impératrice du regard, elle précisa : si je te mange, je pense que je serai rassasiée pour un moment !
Elle retroussa les babines pour montrer ses crocs et fit vibrer le haki dans tout son corps. L'impératrice et tout son équipage reculèrent d'un bon, personne ne s'attendait à cela.
— Non ! C'est impossible ! fit Big Mom.
— Haha ! On croise toujours plus monstrueux que soi sur sa route, c'est ce que j'ai appris ces 28 dernières années.
— Haha ! Bien dit ma belle, fit Crocodile dans un sourire montrant sa satisfaction.
Léna reprit une forme à peu près normale et semblait apparaître un peu plus 'humaine', si tant est qu'elle puisse l'être : sous les poils, se dessinaient les traits d'Apo. Et c'est sous cette apparence qu'elle se jeta dans la mêlée, poussant un hurlement qui n'avait plus rien d'humain et se déplaçant à une vitesse tout aussi inhumaine. En quelques minutes, elle avait décimé une partie de l'équipage de Big Mom : dans des cris d'une horreur insoutenable, des morceaux de corps volaient tout autour d'elle elle disparaissait puis réapparaissait juste pour dire adieu à sa proie. Même l'équipage de Chapeau de paille était décontenancé face à un tel déferlement de violence, sauf peut-être Sanji et Zoro qui savaient de quoi elle était capable.
— Haha ! À l'occasion, je remercierai la Marine de m'avoir aussi bien éduquée ! Tu penseras à me le rappeler Aokiji, avant que je ne les égorge tous…
— Et si tu te battais au lieu de te marrer ?
— Rabat-joie ! Si Hinata t'aimait pas autant je t'aurais déjà fait la peau… remarque, je pourrais, je lui dirais que je me suis emportée… un accident est si vite arrivé.
— Tu as raison, justement je me disais ça en regardant Daz, qui est juste à quelques mètres de moi, fit-il dans un grand sourire.
— Haha ! Oui, ça doit être pour ça que tu es toujours en vie, tu es intelligent. Mais sache que pour ton excès de zèle, lors de la prochaine pleine lune, tu vas souffrir le martyre.
— Ça me va, c'est de bonne guerre, ria Aokiji.
Il apparaissait donc que cette cruelle créature pouvait avoir des sentiments, jusqu'à protéger des êtres qui lui étaient chers, et ça, l'équipage de Chapeau de paille semblait l'avoir compris au point de lui faire confiance le temps d'un combat, sans compter l'engagement et le soutien que lui portaient Sanji et Zoro.
Le combat reprit de plus belle et tout le monde y mit ses dernières forces. Ils étaient l'équipage du futur roi des pirates, ils ne pouvaient pas perdre même devant un empereur. Luffy demanda un coup de main, alors Léna commença à grandir comme au début du combat et attrapa la tête de Big Mom dans sa gueule. Luffy, enroulé autour du cou de l'impératrice, tira sa tête en arrière jusqu'à entendre craquer sa nuque. Elle mourut dans un dernier cri. Léna lâcha la tête et finit de la décapiter d'un coup de griffe.
— Par sécurité ! expliqua-t-elle à Luffy qui hocha la tête de façon affirmative. À présent que tu l'as eue, tous les peuples qu'elle opprimait sont libres, bien joué Luffy.
Je repris mon apparence et observais tout le monde tomber à terre de fatigue. Tous les ennemis étaient morts.
— Un médecin… haleta Chopper en courant partout avant de s'écrouler.
— C'est toi le médecin ! lui cria en chœur tout l'équipage.
— Chopper, fis-je, ne t'inquiète pas, ça va aller, je suis là… Grâce à mon pouvoir de guérison, je vais pouvoir te remplacer, cependant on va procéder par étape puis m'adressant à tous les blessés : ne bougez pas et laissez-moi agir sans protester, je sais ce que j'ai à faire et quoi qu'il arrive, tout se passera bien. Une fois que j'aurai terminé, j'aurai juste besoin de quelques heures de sommeil pour me rétablir, alors que vous, si je n'interviens pas tout de suite, vous en aurez pour des jours à vous en remettre, or je vais avoir besoin de vous rapidement et en grande forme !
— Ok, répondirent-ils.
— Tout d'abord, vos blessures les plus graves, dis-je à voix haute, plus pour moi-même.
Je fis courir mon pouvoir sur l'étendue des combattants et les blessures se refermèrent progressivement.
— Maintenant, votre fatigue et votre douleur… tout ira bien, continuai-je à ânonner.
Une énorme boule rouge et transparente sortit de leur corps et entra dans le mien. Bon nombre désapprouvait mon action – non qu'elle ne soit pas justifiée, mais parce que certains l'avaient déjà vécu – et je le sentais autour de moi.
— _C'est le plus rapide et vous le savez,_ répondis-je par télépathie.
Brook essayait de communiquer avec moi :
— _Je vais partager ce fardeau avec toi._
— _Tu es sûr ?_
— _Ben oui pourquoi ?_
— _À ton avis ?_
Brook leva ses bras et se mit à rire :
— Suis-je bête, c'est vrai que je ne peux plus le faire puisque je suis fait d'os ! Youhouhouh !
— Merci quand même de ton soutien, fis-je en souriant.
Comme je terminais de soigner les derniers blessés, Sanji et Zoro vinrent vers moi pour me soutenir, mais d'un sourire je leur fis comprendre que ça irait.
Nous sommes tous retournés sans un bruit vers le bateau. Une fois à bord, Luffy se jeta sur les nouveaux venus :
— Shanks, Ben, Yasop, Lucky, Jimbei, cria Luffy, je suis si content de vous voir, on fait la fête ok ?
Les hommes le regardèrent en hochant légèrement la tête de gauche à droite en souriant, mais c'est Shanks qui précisa :
— Toujours le même !
— J'avais promis de ne pas changer et de devenir le roi des pirates et de te ramener ton chapeau de paille aussi, non ?
— Si, si, répondit Shanks dans un grand sourire.
Usop et Yasop tombèrent dans les bras l'un de l'autre. C'était émouvant je regardai Franky et lui dis :
— Quand tu seras prêt, nous pourrons partir. On est attendu. Je vous expliquerai tout demain matin, mais pour le moment je dois aller dormir, je suis assez fatiguée.
— Bien. Nami, donne-moi le cap.
— Je ne sais pas. Hinata, où veux-tu aller ? me demanda-t-elle.
— Suis le log pose, il nous conduira vers une île à quelques jours d'ici où on est tous obligé de passer, un peu comme Shabaody.
Puis me retournant vers Shanks et les autres :
— Vous nous suivez bien sûr ?
— Oui, répondit Shanks pour tout le monde… Ça fait un bail ma belle, tu m'as manqué.
— Oui trop longtemps, répondis-je, tu m'as manqué aussi, plus que tu ne l'imagines… en fait je venais te voir…
— C'est ce qu'on m'a dit, expliqua Shanks en montrant les autres hommes d'un mouvement de tête.
— Ah oui je vois, murmurais-je. Croc… commençais-je à dire quand il me coupa la parole.
— Je suis honoré que tu aies pensé à moi, me sortit Crocodile tout penaud.
— Moi aussi je suis honoré que vous ayez pensé à moi, j'espère que Léna va bien ?
— Très bien, merci Daz, lui répondis-je avec un grand sourire et regardant Crocodile les larmes aux yeux, pardon, je… Apo pense toujours à toi c'est pour ça…
— À moi aussi, elle hante mes pensées, faudra qu'on parle après.
— Oui, répondis-je en séchant mes larmes. Je remarquai un sourire chez Daz, plutôt rare pour le souligner mais qui signifiait qu'il devait bien aller.
Puis, je repris ma discussion avec Nami :
— Nami, on s'en remet à toi, tout ira bien.
— Merci. Franky suis moi, ordonna-t-elle.
Shanks fit signe à l'équipage de son navire de suivre le Sunny Go.
— Sanji, puis-je emprunter ton lit cette nuit, j'aimerais dormir seule.
— Oui bien sûr, je t'accompagne.
— Merci.
— Attend ! fit une voix d'homme derrière moi.
— Je suis fatiguée on parlera demain, veux-tu ?
— Non ! Tu ne peux pas, tu es … tu es morte ! dit l'homme.
— Non, pas moi… Elle ! Et si tu… je secouais la tête de lassitude, incapable de trouver mes mots. Écoute, je suis fatiguée, laisse-moi passer.
À présent, il me bloquait le passage pour accéder aux dortoirs.
— Je… commença-t-il et alors qu'il se rapprochait, Sanji et Zoro se mirent devant moi prêt à se battre.
— Tu es peut-être le père de notre capitaine, mais si tu t'approches encore d'elle tu auras affaire à nous, et sache qu'on n'a qu'une envie : te jeter à la mer et te voir couler, alors ne nous tente pas !
— Les garçons ! Calmez-vous, fit Robin en se mettant devant Dragon pour le protéger.
— Robin d'amour, commença Sanji en baissant la tête, tu sais combien je t'aime, tu vis ta vie comme tu l'entends et j'en fais de même, mais sache que tu ne sais pas tout de cet homme. Et ce que j'en sais me suffit amplement pour lui demander de prendre le large et de ne plus s'approcher de cette femme.
— Grrr ! fit Zoro, je suis d'accord avec le cuistot. Je n'ai certes pas son esprit chevaleresque que tout le monde lui connaît et que j'aime à dénigrer, mais moi non plus je ne veux plus qu'il l'approche.
— C'est bon les garçons, ça va aller. Dragon, tu veux savoir la vérité ? dis-je.
— Oui, me dit-il.
— Parfait.
Je m'avançai vers lui et pris la forme d'Apo pour être à sa hauteur :
— Robin ! C'est bon, je ne vais pas lui faire de mal, lui dit Apo.
Robin se décala sur le côté.
— Grâce à notre pouvoir, nous allons te montrer et te faire ressentir ce que nous avons vécu ces dernières années, mais à deux conditions : tu ne cries pas au réveil et pas de question par la suite, d'accord ?
Il fit oui de la tête.
— Alors commençons.
Nous l'avons pris dans nos bras, serré l'étreinte et donné un baiser sur la bouche puis nous nous sommes retirées dans nos quartiers.
— Nous avons placé notre mémoire en lui, ne le touchez pas tant qu'il ne sera pas réveillé. Sanji ? Nous avons besoin que tu nous aides à faire quelque chose.
— Oui allons-y.
Nous avons laissé les autres sur le pont pour entrer dans le couloir des cabines. Zoro rengaina ses épées et alla se mettre dans un coin. Tout le monde repris ses discussions, et Robin resta à côté de Dragon, figé comme une statue.
12. Chapter 11
Bonjour à tous,
J'espère que vous avez tous passé deux très bonnes semaines. Aujourd'hui c'est lemon, après les rêves, la réalité. J'ai hâtes d'avoir vos commentaires qu'ils soient positifs ou négatifs. J'espère que ça vous plaira. A dans 15 jours, Peacecraft.
**Chapitre 11 : Première nuit ensemble**
Sanji ouvrit la porte et j'entrai dans la chambre à sa suite. J'avais repris mes traits, ceux d'une enfant de dix ans, couverte de sang.
— Sanji, peux-tu m'aider à me doucher et à bien me laver les cheveux, s'il te plaît ? Je dois éviter d'avaler du sang. Comme ça va prendre un peu de temps, si tu pouvais veiller à ce que le sang coule ailleurs que dans ma bouche, je t'en serai reconnaissante.
— Oui bien sûr, prépare-toi.
— Heureusement que chaque chambre a sa propre douche, continuai-je.
— En effet… Ça va aller ? me demanda-t-il hésitant.
— Oui bien sûr, tu es là, alors tout ira bien, dis-je en souriant.
Nous nous sommes installés dans la douche, j'étais assise sur un tabouret devant le robinet et lui, debout derrière moi pour pouvoir mieux me laver les cheveux et toutes les parties de mon corps tout en tournant autour de moi. Il s'était déshabillé et avait passé une serviette autour de la taille pour que je ne sois pas gênée par sa nudité, _quelle belle attention_ pensais-je amusée mais il me respectait par ce geste et ça me suffisait, j'avais eu raison de lui demander, il ne m'avait pas déçue et il ne me décevrait jamais, je le sentais. Dehors, j'entendais la fête battre son plein, je ressentais leur bonheur à tous de se retrouver. Et puis il y avait Dragon, seul dans son coin, qui apprenait mon sombre passé. Je préférais me concentrer sur le bonheur des autres.
— Tu loupes la fête, désolée en plus en tant que cuisinier, ils doivent avoir besoin de toi.
— Tais-toi ou tu vas avaler de l'eau et du sang. T'inquiète pas pour moi, je suis bien là où je suis, je ne veux être nulle part ailleurs. Et puis ils peuvent se passer de moi quelques heures, ils sont grands tu sais !
— Oui, fis-je.
On resta silencieux un moment, puis au bout d'une demi-heure, je pus sortir de la douche, enfin propre. Sanji s'était rhabillé et m'avait prêté un t-shirt blanc et un caleçon pour m'en faire un habit de nuit. Il me mit au lit et me borda, comme une enfant, mais j'étais si fatiguée que pour une fois je trouvais même ça agréable.
— Bonne nuit Sanji… merci.
— Bonne nuit Hinata répondit-il dans un sourire bienveillant.
Je fermais les yeux et entendis qu'il avait rapproché une chaise du lit. Il s'assit dessus et comptait bien me veiller. J'allais refuser, mais en même temps je trouvais cela si bien que je me tus. Une heure avait dû passer quand j'entendis la porte s'ouvrir, je savais déjà qui c'était, tout le monde rigolait dehors mais lui s'inquiétait de ne pas voir Sanji revenir depuis une heure et demie. Il s'approcha et le vit dans une position pas très confortable : assis sur une chaise à coté de mon lit, Sanji m'avait pris la main, mais en s'endormant, son buste avait chuté en avant et il se retrouvait donc à demi-couché sur mon lit, tellement fatigué que ça ne l'avait même pas réveillé. Zoro le regardait avec un air serein et attendrissant.
— Zoro, murmurais-je.
— Oui, dit-il.
— Amène-le avec toi dans ta chambre, il a besoin de dormir. Occupe-toi bien de lui s'il te plaît, il se préoccupe tellement de nous qu'il oublie de prendre soin de lui, je te le confie.
— Il ne va pas vouloir partir et te laisser seule…
— Prends-le dans tes bras doucement et mets-le au lit, il est si fatigué qu'il ne devrait pas se réveiller.
— Et toi ça va aller ?
— Quelqu'un va venir le remplacer et ne t'en fais pas, ça se passera bien, il tiendra parole.
— Ok.
Il délogea la main de Sanji de la mienne, et le prit dans ses bras comme on soulève une jeune mariée pour lui faire passer le seuil de la maison. Cette scène me fit sourire puis, près de la porte, il vit une ombre, un homme en noir. Il allait dire quelque chose, mais comme je ne réagis pas il le laissa entrer et regarda Dragon s'assoir où se trouvait Sanji il y a encore quelques secondes. Dragon ne bougeait pas il ne parlait pas il regardait vers moi, c'est tout. Zoro sortit quand il se sentit rassuré et sûr que c'était ce que je voulais.
Je refermai les yeux et me liai à eux. Ils entrèrent dans la chambre de Zoro, un lit une place s'y trouvait ainsi qu'une table de l'autre côté, près de la seule ouverture – un hublot pas très grand mais assez pour aérer la pièce quand il l'ouvrait. Il déposa Sanji dans son lit et le borda, puis se dirigea vers l'armoire. Il avait toujours un tapis de sol, une couverture et un oreiller en plus, au cas où… Il installa le tout parterre entre le lit et la table puis se coucha. Quelques minutes après, il ne dormait toujours pas ça lui arrivait rarement, habituellement à peine il fermait les yeux qu'il s'endormait. Mais là, non, il entendait Sanji bouger, mais ne remua pas.
— Hinata !? demanda Sanji. Où suis-je ?
— Ça va, fit Zoro, tu es dans ma chambre quand je suis venu voir si tout allait bien pour vous tu t'étais endormi.
— Et tu la laissée seule ? demanda Sanji en se relevant d'un bond, assis dans le lit.
— Non bien sûr, laisse-moi finir. Elle s'inquiète pour toi et m'a demandé de te ramener dans ma chambre pour que tu te reposes et que quelqu'un viendrait prendre le relais.
— Quelle idiote, après tout ce qu'elle a accompli aujourd'hui, elle continue à s'inquiéter pour les autres.
— Haha ! Elle pense un peu la même chose de toi, elle t'aime beaucoup et estime que tu t'occupes trop des autres et pas assez de toi !
— D'accord, mais qui est resté avec elle ?
— Dragon.
— Quoi ? fit Sanji en se levant du lit.
— Elle a rien dit quand il est entré, ils ne se sont même pas parlé mais elle semblait l'attendre.
Tout en se relevant du tapis, Zoro attrapa Sanji par les bras, le fit se rassoir et ajouta :
— Pour l'instant, tu te reposes. On verra pour la suite plus tard. De toute façon il n'avait pas l'air de lui vouloir du mal et si ça changeait, on le sentirait, on est à côté. Elle sait se défendre, et nous appellera en cas de problèmes, ça te va ?
— Oui mais… commença Sanji.
— Pas de mais, au lit maintenant ! dit Zoro sur un ton sec qui ne souffrait aucun refus.
— Et toi, tu dors où ?
— Sur un matelas parterre.
— Mais… c'est ta chambre ! C'est à moi de dormir parterre.
— Toi, tu vas te faire mal, et j'ai l'habitude de dormir partout.
— Zoro… tu ne veux pas dormir avec moi ? On peut partager le lit…
— Tu… Tu crois ? demanda Zoro, un peu hésitant, mais content que Sanji le lui propose.
— Oui, fit-il dans un grand sourire.
Zoro hocha la tête en signe d'affirmation et Sanji alla s'installer contre le mur. Zoro se mit devant. Chacun d'eux se faisait le plus petit possible mais ils étaient serrés.
— Zoro ?
— Oui quoi ?
— Je peux essayer quelque chose ? Mais tu te laisses faire…
— Oui, fais.
Alors Sanji pris Zoro par l'épaule et le fit pivoter vers lui, il l'installa confortablement dans le lit sur le dos et il se plaça sur le côté, fit passer le bras de Zoro derrière sa tête, se colla contre lui et posa sa tête sur l'épaule de Zoro. Le bras de Zoro se positionna sur le flanc de Sanji qui plaça un bras entre eux et l'autre sur le torse de Zoro.
— C'est mieux comme ça, non ?
— Oui. Tu es bien installé toi ?
— Oui, merci Zoro…
— De rien…
La lune éclairait la chambre par le hublot. Sanji regarda Zoro dans les yeux et ne put se retenir, il leva la tête et l'embrassa sur la bouche. Au début il fut hésitant, effleurant ses lèvres puis appuyant un peu plus il se releva puis recommença, sortit sa langue pour lécher les lèvres de Zoro, et sentant celui-ci ouvrir la bouche, il introduisit sa langue, jusqu'à toucher celle de Zoro. Les sensations qu'il ressentait l'enivraient comme quand il goûtait un bon plat qu'il venait de créer, un nouveau goût donc, agréable, et qu'il ne voulait partager sous aucun prétexte avec qui que ce soit. Il ne voulait pas non plus le perdre ce goût, il voulait qu'il reste à jamais dans sa bouche le temps semblait s'être figé, et il ne remarqua même pas qu'il s'était déplacé et allonger sur Zoro. Puis il changea de position et vint s'asseoir à cheval sur le bassin de Zoro tout en laissant son torse appuyé le plus possible sur celui de Zoro. Quand il se releva, il comprit ce qu'il venait de faire…
— Zoro ! Je…, dit-il en asseyant de se dégager.
— Sanji… répondit Zoro en le retenant.
Il venait de récupérer ses bras, bloqués et ankylosés durant quelques secondes par les jambes de Sanji. Il mit alors un bras autour de la taille de Sanji pour le maintenir assis sur lui et l'autre sur la joue de Sanji puis sur sa nuque pour le forcer à le regarder et il continua.
— Regarde-moi Sanji. Ce n'est rien. J'en avais aussi envie, mais je voulais que tu le fasses en premier, car loin de moi l'idée de t'imposer quoi que ce soit. On a tous les deux discuté avec Hinata, et je ne sais pas où tu en es, mais pour ma part moi je le sais. Alors je t'attendrai et si finalement tu ne veux pas de moi, je comprendrai. Mais sache une chose, tu m'as dit que tu avais été ravi que je te fasse confiance, j'espère qu'un jour tu pourras aussi me faire confiance de la sorte, pas seulement pour protéger ta vie sur un champ de bataille mais aussi pour la vivre au quotidien avec moi.
Sanji fut surpris par ce que venait de dire Zoro. _Peut-être que Hinata avait raison, je devrais lui faire davantage confiance il ne me veut pas de mal bien au contraire_…
— Zoro je suis… je suis prêt, mais je ne sais pas comment… faire…
— Je suis là, on est deux.
— Mouais…
— Tu as l'air convaincu c'est génial ! fit Zoro en rigolant.
— Hé ! Ne te moque pas, répliqua Sanji.
— Pardon, mais à mes yeux tu restes le playboy de service de ces dames, à la fois masculin et sensible, c'est comme ça que je t'aime, et je ne tiens pas à ce que tu changes.
— Merci… Je veux bien essayer de te faire confiance, alors.
— Ok, on essaye ? Que veux-tu faire : dormir, faire un câlin ou… ?
— Heu ! eh bien… un câlin et…
— Ok. Et si on mettait ta confiance en moi à l'épreuve ?
— Tu as une idée derrière la tête !? fit-il surpris.
— Tu me fais confiance ?
— Oui.
— Alors je t'explique.
Il attrapa Sanji, le retourna sur le dos et changea de position avec lui. À présent, Sanji était sur le dos, complètement allongé et Zoro se mit à cheval sur lui.
— Voilà, maintenant on va voir si tu peux me faire confiance je vais y aller doucement…
Il défit son bandana.
— Je vais te mettre ce bandeau sur les yeux ainsi privé de la vue, tu seras obligé de me faire confiance. Concentre-toi sur tes autres sens et laisse-toi aller. À partir de maintenant, je vais m'occuper de toi. Si jamais ce que tu ressens te déplaît, dis-le-moi tout de suite et j'arrêterai. À l'occasion, je te raconterai ce que je fais, pour que tu ne sois pas totalement pris au dépourvu. Alors on teste ?
— …
— Je prends ça pour un oui. Après on change de place, je te laisserai mon corps, car je te fais pleinement confiance. J'imagine que ton expérience avec les femmes a dû être tout autre, alors laisse-moi te montrer ce qu'on peut faire, t'initier…
— Ok, initie-moi alors… répondit Sanji, intrigué par le jeu de son ami.
Zoro n'était peut-être pas aussi bestial qu'il se le représentait dans ses rêves et il semblait plutôt bavard, alors il rajouta :
— Étonne-moi tête d'algue !
— Ok, playboy !
Ils se regardèrent et se mirent à rire. Zoro banda les yeux de son amant. Et comme dans ses rêves, il allait initier Sanji à prendre du plaisir dans ses bras. Pourvu que cela fonctionne, il le souhaitait tellement mais il faudrait se retenir, aller lentement, sans s'emporter – du moins juste ce qu'il faut – et surtout donner du plaisir à cet homme et si c'était la seule nuit qu'ils allaient passer ensemble, il fallait qu'elle soit extraordinaire pour tous les deux. Pour lui, elle le serait car il allait enfin découvrir ce corps qu'il avait tant désiré et tellement touché lors de leurs combats.
— Tu es toujours un défi que j'apprécie de relever mon cher, lui murmura-t-il à l'oreille.
— Baka ! fit Sanji en rigolant, tu veux te battre ?
— Non, mais je vais tout faire pour te faire crier et cette fois ça ne sera ni de colère ni de douleur mais de plaisir – puis doucement à son oreille il lui susurra – j'adore ta voix au naturel, j'ai hâte de l'entendre quand le plaisir s'exprimera…
Sanji devint tout rouge et ne put répondre tellement il était gêné. Cela excita encore plus Zoro. C'est en déboutonnant la chemise de Sanji qu'il se rendit compte qu'il l'avait couché dans son lit sans le déshabiller, _il fallait retirer ce surplus de tissus_, pensa-t-il. Il écarta la chemise et posa ses mains sur le torse de Sanji qui bougea.
— Ça va ? demanda Zoro.
— Oui, mais tu as les mains un peu froides.
— Oh pardon, je vais les réchauffer…
Zoro souffla sur ses mains et les frotta l'une contre l'autre, comme lorsqu'on cherche à se réchauffer l'hiver, puis les plaça à nouveau sur Sanji.
— C'est un peu mieux, merci, dit Sanji.
Heureux, Zoro déplaça ses mains le long du torse de son amant puis il ne fit glisser que le bout de ses doigts. Il partait du haut des épaules et redescendait, puis passa un doigt sur chacune de ses aréoles pour en dessiner le contour jusqu'à en toucher le bout. Sanji réagit de façon positive alors il recommença, progressant au niveau des côtes et des flancs mais sans trop, car il sentit que Sanji était sensible. Cela l'amusa mais il voulait davantage le faire rire de plaisir qu'avec des chatouilles il ne put s'en empêcher toutefois et caressa son amant qui commença à se tortiller et à rire. Sanji voulait se dégager de l'étreinte de Zoro mais se retrouva bloqué par les jambes de ce dernier, l'enserrant autour de son bassin.
— Arrête ! fit Sanji qui s'étouffait.
— Oui pardon, c'était trop tentant… Je ne te savais pas si douillet, je ne recommencerai pas, promis.
— Merci.
Zoro plaça à nouveau ses mains sur les flancs et le ventre de Sanji de ses doigts, il suivit le bas ventre, les abdominaux puis remonta progressivement, caressant les bras, les épaules, le cou, bref chaque millimètre de peau de son amant. À la façon dont réagissait Sanji, il savait que ça lui plaisait, mais il pouvait faire mieux. Il se mit d'abord à embrasser le cou de Sanji, puis le lécha et finit par lui faire un suçon. Sanji gémissait, entre plaisir et colère, mais se laissa faire, et entra petit à petit dans ce jeu que lui proposait Zoro – totalement à sa merci – comme il l'aurait fait dans un combat, rebelle mais pas complètement soumis. Quant à Zoro, il luttait contre ses démons intérieurs : ne pas se précipiter tout en faisant crier et jouir son amant, de plus en plus, plus fort et plus intense jusqu'à couvrir la musique qui émanait du pont, et peu importait si tout le monde les entendait, c'était bien comme cela qu'il entendait donner du plaisir à l'homme qui partageait sa couche cette nuit. Il continua à l'embrasser partout sur le torse puis s'attaquant aux tétons, il entreprit avec sa langue ce mouvement circulaire qu'il faisait avec ses doigts, alors Sanji émit de petits cris étouffés, comme par la honte. Zoro s'amusa à mordiller les tétons qui rougissaient et devenaient plus sensible à chacun de ses assauts. Quant à Sanji, emporté par l'euphorie du moment, il s'oublia, oublia où il était, avec qui il était et ne put contenir plus longtemps ce râle qui sourdait dans sa gorge Zoro voulait entendre sa voix, il serait servi, pour son plaisir personnel. Puis le bretteur poursuivit sa route sur le reste du torse musculeux du cuistot, l'embrassant immodérément, le respirant à chaque instant, vivant chaque émotion comme unique, partout sur leur corps et entre leurs jambes, la manifestation de cet émoi plus forte encore que le reste. Arrivé au niveau du bas ventre de Sanji, Zoro décida d'abord de s'amuser avec le nombril de son amant, puis il entreprit d'enlever le pantalon de son homme.
— Sanji ?
— Hum !
— Je peux ? À moins que tu ne préfères qu'on s'arrête pour le moment…
— Heu ! attends… Non, vas-y !
— Sûr ?
— Oui, vas-y !
— Ok.
Zoro se déplaça et se mit à cheval sur les genoux de Sanji. Il défit le bouton du pantalon de ce dernier, et tout en saisissant la tirette de la fermeture Éclair entre ses dents, il la fit descendre et effleura du bout de son nez la verge de son amant, ce qui le fit tressaillir de plaisir. Il attrapa à deux mains le pantalon et le caleçon de Sanji et les tira vers le bas, Sanji se souleva pour l'aider. Zoro se releva et retira tout jusqu'à le déshabiller complètement. Il embrassa les pieds de Sanji puis remonta le long de ses mollets, de ses genoux, de ses cuisses et lui fit un autre suçon sur la jambe droite.
— Je vais croire que tu me marques, dit Sanji en rigolant
— Pardon… Loin de moi cette idée, mais… cela me tente bien, l'espace d'un instant, de me dire que tu n'es qu'à moi… quelques heures – voire davantage – passées en ta compagnie sont aussi enivrantes que celles passées à naviguer sur les flots…
— Zoro… je suis à toi pour quelques heures, et peut être plus, dit-il entre deux fortes respirations.
— Bien, bien, répondit Zoro, puis-je continuer ou veux-tu attendre ?
— Continue…
Alors Zoro embrassa le bassin de Sanji et se rapprocha de sa verge il la lécha du bout de la langue, l'attrapa de sa main droite, la redressa et la parcourut de bas en haut et de haut en bas. Il recommença plusieurs fois, des va-et-vient doux et réguliers, sans se presser ni trop serrer la prise, puis il lécha le gland comme une glace et joua avec la pointe de sa langue en faisant des ronds tout autour puis sur le dessus. Zoro sentait les mouvements de contraction musculaire puis de détente qui s'opéraient chez Sanji, rythmés par une respiration saccadée, plus rauque et forte qu'à l'accoutumée progressivement, les amants arrivaient aux portes de la jouissance, bercés d'un désir ardent mais ils voulaient aller encore au-delà. Zoro saisit intégralement la verge de Sanji dans sa bouche, sans les mains, puis continua ses mouvements de va-et-vient Sanji gagnait de plus en plus en plaisir. Alors Zoro s'arrêta le temps d'un sourire adressé à son amant puis souleva les jambes de ce dernier, les bloqua de son bras ferme aux muscles tendus et saillants contre le torse de Sanji, fit basculer son bassin vers le haut et commença à lui lécher l'anus, délicatement d'abord…
— Que fais-tu ? demanda Sanji surpris.
— Tu me fais confiance ? Sauf si tu n'apprécies pas…
— Si, si ! mais cette position…
— Tu te sens mal à l'aise ou inconfortablement installé ?
— Non, c'est bon continue. Tu m'as surpris et comme je ne vois rien…
— Ne t'inquiète pas, ça va venir…
Zoro reprit là où il s'en était arrêté, jouant avec sa langue pour s'immiscer partout où il le pouvait, l'intimité de son amant, ses bourses, sa verge. Il lécha ensuite un de ses doigts et caressa l'anus de Sanji puis entreprit de l'y pénétrer Sanji commença à se raidir, alors Zoro se releva sans retirer son doigt et s'approcha de son oreille pour lui murmurer :
— Détends-toi… Tu me fais toujours confiance ? Sauf si tu préfères qu'on prenne une pause ?
Sanji se mit à respirer doucement, se détendit et déclara :
— Laisse-moi un peu de temps pour m'y habituer… j'ai confiance en toi et je sais que tu ne me feras jamais de mal.
Zoro répondit par un sourire bienveillant et attendit patiemment que son amant se détende pour reprendre doucement ses va-et-vient. Il entreprit alors d'introduire un second doigt et continua ses va-et-vient. Zoro sentait que Sanji commençait à apprécier car il l'entendit gémir doucement à nouveau.
— Dis-moi quand tu es prêt, dit Zoro.
— Maintenant !
— Ok, fit-il dans un grand sourire.
Zoro retira ses doigts et se déshabilla. Il humecta à nouveau ses doigts de salive pour en oindre sa verge et commença à pénétrer tout doucement Sanji qui – durant quelques secondes – se contracta à nouveau pour finalement laisser Zoro continuer en toute confiance. Ce dernier s'introduisit complètement, s'arrêta un moment pour laisser Sanji s'habituer à sa présence en lui puis commença à aller et venir, écartant les genoux de Sanji pour les bloquer avec ses épaules. Zoro s'allongea ensuite sur le torse de son amant pour défaire le bandeau qu'il portait et ils échangèrent à ce moment-là un sourire entendu. Zoro passa alors sa main entre leurs bassins et, tout en pénétrant son homme, il caressa à nouveau le sexe de Sanji, le saisit de sa main ferme et dans un mouvement synchrone, cala les va-et-vient de sa main sur ceux de sa verge. Son regard plongé dans celui de Sanji pour ne rien perdre du spectacle que lui offrait cet homme qu'il désirait tant, Zoro accentua ses mouvements afin de l'entendre jouir. Quand il ne put plus se retenir, il accéléra la cadence jusqu'à se libérer en Sanji il cria si fort qu'il en avait la tête étourdie, toutefois il perçut un cri de la part de Sanji, car il savait que ce dernier n'en avait pas encore fini, alors il se retira doucement tout en laissant Sanji lâcher un petit soupir de satisfaction et reporta son attention sur la verge de son amant. Zoro recommença les va-et-vient avec sa bouche, en gorge profonde. Sanji se sentait de plus en plus transporté, enivré par les à-coups de son amant, au point d'attraper les draps et de s'y agripper si fort jusqu'à vouloir les déchirer, comme pour essayer de résister le plus possible, puis il éjacula dans un puissant râle. Zoro se retira à temps pour ne pas avaler la semence de son homme, puis continua à l'exciter de sa main Sanji se cambra fortement, tous muscles saillants, criant à nouveau de plaisir comme un fou, mais d'un cri ni humain ni animal, simplement empli d'une jouissance sans pareille. Zoro se demanda si son amant avait déjà pris autant de plaisir pour sa part, c'était la première fois qu'il ressentait quelque chose d'aussi intense, il était ravi de l'avoir partagé avec lui, et sentait que ce n'était qu'un début. Après l'avoir embrassé sur le front et sur la bouche, Zoro s'allongea près de Sanji – leurs corps luisants de sueur sous un reste de clair de lune dans la chaleur moite de la chambre, encore fiévreux de désir – puis le fit pivoter sur le côté de façon à le prendre dans ses bras et à se coller contre le dos de celui qu'il aimait tant. Il releva sa tête, se pencha sur son oreille et, tout en caressant le corps de son amant, il lui murmura :
— Merci mon amour… Je t'aime…
Pui il ajouta :
— Quand tu seras prêt, on fera la 'revanche'. Je suis tout à toi maintenant, je n'ai plus rien à t'apprendre. J'espère que ça t'a plu ?
Sanji ne répondit rien. Zoro n'attendait pas vraiment de réponse et après avoir embrassé la tête de Sanji, il se rallongea pour fermer les yeux quelques secondes quand il vit Sanji faire volte-face, les larmes aux yeux, et l'embrasser avec fougue et passion tout en bégayant, comme affolé, entre deux larmes :
— Baka, c'était génial ! Moi aussi je t'aime, crétin… Qu'as-tu fait de moi ? Moi, un homme à femmes ! Me voilà en larmes, telle une donzelle après sa première fois ! Je te déteste et t'aime encore plus à la fois… Dis-moi comment tu as réussi à me faire ça ?!
— Sanji ! Zoro le serra dans ses bras pour le rassurer, avec un sourire bienveillant et une voix étonnamment douce. Calme-toi, tout va bien… je n'ai rien fait de particulier, ça s'est fait naturellement… Je suis désolé si l'émotion a été trop forte…
— Non c'est rien, c'est moi… Pardon, je… C'était si bien que je n'ai pas compris, je ne pensais pas que ça serait si bien…
— Haha ! moi non plus je ne le pensais pas. C'était ma première fois à moi aussi, et j'ai vraiment adoré haha ! Je suis si heureux de l'avoir fait avec toi. À présent, je te laisse les commandes, je suis tout à toi.
— Quoi ! Maintenant ? Tu n'es pas fatigué ?
— Oui et non et puis je ne tiens pas à ce que tu t'endormes comme ça… – Zoro se rallongea et commença à s'étirer, de façon à ce que les muscles de son torse se tendent et deviennent saillants… – Et c'est toi qui mènes le jeu bien sûr…
— Vraiment ?
— Oui, je suis pour le partage du plaisir dans une relation, comme je te l'ai dit avant qu'on ne commence, mais si tu as besoin d'un peu de temps pour te remettre, pas de problème, j'attendrai, je ne veux pas brusquer les ch…
— Zoro, je… je ne te voyais pas comme ça… C'est aussi pour ça que je ne te faisais pas entièrement confiance, mais à présent, je me sens rassuré.
Sur ces paroles, Sanji se jeta sur Zoro en rigolant et lui faisant des chatouilles.
— Ça, c'est pour tout à l'heure !
— Ok, ok, c'est bon, je me rends, mais par pitié arrête ces chatouilles je n'en peux plus… cria Zoro, mort de rire.
Sanji embrassa passionnément son amant et son désir pour lui se manifesta à nouveau, notamment entre ses jambes, alors il se mit à rire également.
— Ok, à moi alors ? Prépare-toi bien, car je ne serai peut-être pas aussi doux et attentionné que toi.
— Bah, j'en ai vu d'autres et puis j'en mourrai pas, si ?
— Non, à part peut-être de plaisir…
— Alors ça me va baka de cuistot.
— Tu vas voir mon 'marimo d'amour'…
— Waouh ! je suis ton « marimo d'amour », ça devient intéressant mon petit 'love cook d'amour'…
Les deux hommes se regardèrent et rirent aux éclats quelques instants. Puis Sanji embrassa Zoro dans le cou, sur son torse, bien décidé à lui rendre tout le plaisir qu'il lui avait procuré, voire au centuple. Il explorait le torse de Zoro de ses doigts, de ses lèvres, de sa langue, s'attardant longuement sur la cicatrice qu'il avait depuis le jour de leur rencontre. Cette cicatrice, souvenir de sa rencontre avec Mihawk où Zoro avait défié son aîné, sachant pertinemment qu'il risquait d'y rester, statique face à une grande épée comme s'il avait laissé le destin décider de son sort… Encore aujourd'hui, Sanji ne comprenait pas ce geste stupide et à présent, Zoro revenait d'un séjour de deux ans avec le même homme qui avait failli l'embrocher, avec cette fois une cicatrice à l'œil gauche – _à l'occasion, ce serait bien qu'il me raconte comment c'est arrivé, maintenant que nous sommes ensemble…_ À cette remarque, il stoppa nette son action et se releva l'air interrogateur.
— Quoi ? fit Zoro surpris de la réaction de Sanji alors qu'il s'abandonnait au plaisir des caresses de ce dernier.
— Non, rien… je pensais à quelque chose et…
— Oui ?
— On est ensemble ? Je veux dire un couple, ou c'est juste du sexe…
— Crétin, tu t'es arrêté pour ça ? Bien sûr qu'on est un couple, à part si tu ne veux pas continuer mais je ne dis pas je t'aime au premier venu, moi !
— Moi non plus baka. Et puis cette idée d'être en couple avec toi me plaît aussi.
Zoro sourit, attrapa son homme, l'embrassa sur la bouche et ajouta dans un sourire :
— Maintenant que tu es rassuré sur notre statut de couple, on peut reprendre là où tu en étais resté…
— Hai ! fit Sanji.
Sanji reprit ses caresses de plus belle, mordillant tour à tour les tétons de son homme. Puis il poursuivit sa descente du torse de Zoro pour arriver au bas ventre et il se jeta sur la verge de ce dernier qui enflait de plus en plus. Il joua un moment avec, comme Zoro l'avait fait avec la sienne, mais il souhaitait s'y prendre autrement avec lui pour le reste, alors quand il le sentit assez excité, il lui demanda :
— Peux-tu te retourner et t'allonger sur le ventre, s'il te plaît ?
Zoro s'exécuta sans rien dire. Sanji lui caressa le dos, s'allongea un peu sur lui de tout son long, et humidifia son intimité.
— Peux-tu te mettre un peu à genoux ?
Zoro resta allongé et ramena ses jambes vers lui pour se retrouver à genoux. Sanji sourit, passant une main sous Zoro pour atteindre son sexe et commencer des va-et-vient tout en léchant son anus. Puis il lâcha la verge de Zoro et introduisit un premier doigt dans son anus – Zoro, qui se contracta un peu mais moins longtemps que lui, avait vraiment confiance en lui, alors il allait tout faire pour la garder et bien s'occuper de lui – il introduisit ainsi un second doigt.
— Dis-moi quand tu es prêt, fit Sanji.
— Vas-y, je suis prêt, répondit Zoro.
Alors Sanji retira ses doigts, mouilla sa verge et entra lentement dans son amant. Il entreprit des va-et-vient puis saisit à nouveau la verge de Zoro dans sa main et coordonna les deux mouvements. Zoro gémissait de plus en plus, Sanji aussi. Au début Sanji s'était penché sur Zoro, en s'allongeant un peu plus sur son dos, pour lui murmurer tout son amour. Zoro était aux anges. Quand Sanji se sentit partir, il se redressa, lâcha la verge de son homme, attrapa ses hanches de ses deux mains, se cramponna à lui et accentua ses va-et-vient jusqu'à ce qu'il criât de plaisir. Sanji éjacula dans Zoro, se pencha vers lui pour lui mordiller la nuque et se recula, faisant basculer Zoro sur le dos et reprenant la fellation pour terminer son amant, qui tout comme lui auparavant attrapa les draps et se mit à jouir très fort de plaisir. Sanji avait repris la verge de son amant à pleine main et se dernier se libéra dedans. Une fois le silence revenu dans la pièce, il s'allongea sur Zoro et l'embrassa, s'essuyant la main dans les draps pour pouvoir caresser l'homme sous son corps il l'écoutait respirer, ressentant les battements de son cœur et les mouvements de sa poitrine qui montait et descendait à chaque inspiration et expiration. Il se sentait si bien qu'il voulait dormir comme ça : il avait trouvé le paradis.
— Zoro, ça va ?
— Oui et toi ?
— Je suis au paradis… merci pour cette 'revanche' comme tu dis, fit Sanji dans un grand sourire.
— Haha ! Ravi de l'entendre… je ne sais pas pour toi, mais moi je suis crevé, dit Zoro en bâillant.
— Oui, moi aussi. Je peux rester comme ça pour dormir, ça ne te dérange pas ?
— Non, ça me va.
Zoro attrapa les draps et les couvertures et les rabattit sur leurs deux corps puis il prit Sanji dans ses bras.
— Bonne nuit mon amour, dit Zoro.
— Bonne nuit mon ange, répondit Sanji. Tu crois qu'ils nous auront entendus.
— Avec tout le bruit qu'ils font dehors, j'en doute.
— Oui tu as raison, en fait seul Dragon et Hinata ont dû entendre. Plus précisément, Hinata a dû le vivre pleinement avec nous – de toute façon, où qu'elle soit, elle l'aurait vécu de la même façon grâce à son pouvoir, nous n'aurions pas pu l'en empêcher. Espérons qu'elle sera indulgente avec nous…
— C'est vrai, j'avais oublié ça… Il n'y a pas de raison, je pense même qu'elle doit être heureuse et qu'elle aura apprécié…
— Oui, tu dois avoir raison. Dormons un peu alors, on verra ça demain matin moi je dois me lever pour faire le déjeuner sinon j'en connais un qui va tous nous réveiller.
— Ouais.
Ils finirent par s'endormir. Alors que la fête battait son plein sur le reste du bateau pour célébrer les retrouvailles, Dragon était toujours à mes côtés à me veiller, impassible et les yeux clos mais pas endormi, il n'exprimait rien à l'égard de ce qu'il avait entendu chez les garçons.
Au petit matin, Zoro se réveilla seul dans le lit, attiré par une drôle d'odeur. Il s'assit et regarda vers le hublot. Sanji était assis sur la table, nu, fumant une cigarette, le hublot ouvert à ses côtés. Zoro se leva, le rejoignit en le prenant dans ses bras et lui dit :
— Bonjour mon prince, tu fumes déjà ? dit-il d'un ton boudeur. Tu sais que je n'aime pas cette odeur, et encore moins dans ma chambre, mais je ferai une exception pour aujourd'hui car j'ai eu une vision de rêve à mon réveil et je suis prêt à te pardonner si tu m'offres en retour tes lèvres et ton corps…
— Pff ! fit Sanji en secouant la tête de droite à gauche, t'en débites toujours autant de bêtises au réveil ou c'est moi qui te fais cet effet ? À part ta petite morale sur la cigarette – bien que tu aies raison, c'est ta chambre et je respecte – c'était quand même agréable…
Sanji éteignit sa cigarette en la frottant contre la partie extérieure du hublot pour ne pas mettre de cendre à l'intérieur, et tout en la plaçant dans le paquet pour la finir plus tard, il reprit :
— Bonjour à toi aussi mon amour, dit-il en souriant tout en le dévisageant de la tête aux pieds. Je suis pas mal servi moi aussi question 'vision de rêve au réveil', et j'avoue que je te trouve bien plus sexy que moi… Toutefois, pour me faire pardonner, je ne t'offrirais que mes lèvres pour l'instant. Pour mon corps, il faudra attendre un peu, même si… mon désir est aussi ardent que le tien à ce que je peux voir. Il est tôt, mais faut d'abord que je me douche et passe par ma chambre pour me changer et voir comment va Hinata, avant d'aller te préparer le meilleur des petits déjeuners. Mais sache que mon amour et mon désir pour toi sont inflexibles.
— Haha ! Et c'est moi qui débite des 'conneries le matin'. Mais tu as marqué un point avec tes 'mièvreries', alors je t'attendrai tout en réfrénant mes ardeurs, mais d'ici-là, viens par ici toi… et attirant Sanji à lui, il l'embrassa fougueusement. Voici en attendant de se revoir plus passionnément… Je t'aime, lui dit-il dans un dernier sourire.
Sanji lui rendit son sourire, l'embrassa et passa dans la salle de bain. Zoro, lui, retourna se coucher. Sanji ressortit, s'habilla avec ses vêtements de la veille et embrassa à nouveau son homme.
— Zoro, on est un couple partout où on ira ?
— Oui ne t'inquiète pas, on nous jugera pas… puis, Hinata nous aidera, n'est-ce pas ?
— Oui bien sûr. À tout à l'heure.
— Tu veux que je vienne ?
— Non, rendors-toi, ça ira.
Sanji entra dans sa chambre à pas feutrés. Je dormais encore et Dragon, assis près du lit, ne bougea pas. Il alla récupérer des vêtements propres et s'engouffra dans la salle de bain. Quand il en ressortit, j'étais réveillée.
— Bonjour Hinata, tu es réveillée ?
— Oui, bonjour. La nuit a été bonne, dis-moi ? fit-elle d'un air entendu.
— Haha ! dit-il en rougissant, pris sur le fait. Oui, plus qu'excellente même, merci. Tu avais raison, merci pour le conseil…
— À propos de conseils, si je peux me permettre – intervint Dragon – pensez à vous protéger la prochaine fois, quand bien même il s'agissait de votre toute première fois à tous les deux dans un second temps, apprenez à être plus discrets, dans votre intérêt…
— Ho… oui, désolé pour cette nuit…
— Je dis ça, je ne dis rien… rétorqua Dragon.
— Il n'a pas tort, renchérit Hinata, mais on en reparlera plus tard. Je pense que tu devrais y aller, je n'ai pas envie d'entendre Luffy crier à qui veut l'entendre qu'il a faim ce matin !
— Oh oui ! Tu veux rester encore un peu dans la chambre ?
— Oui, je viendrai pour le repas de midi.
— Je te fais apporter un petit déjeuner, alors ?
— Oui je veux bien merci. Encore désolée pour le dérangement.
— Bah ! laisse donc. À plus tard.
Et Sanji disparut.
13. Chapter 11,5
Bonjour à tous,
Aujourd'hui petit chapitre pour révéler le passé de Crocodile. Et expliquer les surnoms 'd'Adam et Eve'. Avant un long chapitre qui révélera encore un pan du passé d'Hinata, comme au chapitre 6.
Je vous souhaite un très bon week-end en espérant que tout comme moi vous faite le pont et vous pourrez partir vous promener en long week end.
Bonne lecture à tous et rendez-vous le jeudi 28 mai, pour le chapitre 12.
**Chapitre 11.5: Adam et Ève**
Sanji se posta devant Crocodile et le dévisagea. Il attendait, ne sachant pas trop comment poser sa question. Quand tout à coup il entendit :
— Besoin d'aide le cuistot ?
— En fait, il y a quelque chose qui me tracasse.
— Quoi ?
— Eh bien… L'autre nuit, on a sauvé des esclaves. Hinata a laissé un message pour la personne qui devait s'occupait d'eux. Elle a rajouté que c'était la sœur d'un ami, puis elle lui a parlé de deux personnes, Adam et Ève. J'ai cru comprendre qui était Ève. Du coup, je me demandais si toi, qui as passé du temps avec elle, tu sais qui est Adam ?
— Ha ha ! Eh bien Adam, c'est moi. Et Ève c'est autant Hinata, qu'Apo ou Léna. Je peux connaître le message ?
— Heu ! Je te le dis si tu me racontes comment vous avez eu ce surnom.
— Ok.
— Le message était : « _Ève a quitté Adam car elle a eu peur de ses sentiments, alors si tu vois Adam prends soin de lui ! »_.
— Merci, répondit-il dans un grand sourire. Je vais te raconter comment ça s'est passé. Comme tu l'as vu quand Hinata t'a raconté leur histoire, on s'est rencontré lors d'un combat et après je me suis rapproché d'Apo. Un matin, après une nuit des plus intéressantes – je te passe les détails – nous avons parlé du passé et de notre avenir.
— Salut les gars, vous faites quoi ? intervint une voix de fille.
— Oh ! Apo, tu es là ma belle. Eh bien tu vois, on discute, répondit Cro dans un grand sourire.
— Oui, Hinata dort à poings fermés, alors je peux venir en fantôme pour discuter avec vous. Et de quoi parliez-vous?
— D'Adam et Ève. Sanji veut connaître l'histoire de nos surnoms.
— Oh ! Tu veux vraiment tout savoir ?
— Oui.
— Bien, donne-moi la main je vais tout te montrer. Je peux tout montrer Cro ?
— Oui vas-y.
Sanji donna sa main à Apo et des images se déversèrent en lui.
_Apo et Cro étaient __allongé__s__ dans un lit et discutaient. _
— _Dis-moi, fit Apo subitement, je t'ai raconté mon passé mais je ne connais rien du tiens. J'aimerais en savoir plus sur toi. _
— _Bien, si tu veux. Que veux-tu savoir ? _
— _Ta main, tu l'as perdue comment ? _
_Cro l'embrassa et laissa son __passé__ se __dévers__er__ en Apo. _
_« Une vingtaine d'enfants se trouvaient là, les plus jeunes pleuraient et les plus âgés essayaient de les calmer. Une petite fille se __mit__ à couiner. _
— _Ils nous ont abandonnés… tous les adultes sont partis. _
— _Chut ! Ne pleure pas, tout va bien, ils vont revenir._
— _Tu parles, ils ont eu peur et se sont barrés, oui !_
— _Tais-toi ! Ne parle pas ainsi devant les plus petits. _
_Tous les enfants se mirent à se disputer, __rythmés par__ les larmes des plus jeunes. Le plus âgé – qui ne devait pas avoir plus de quinze ans – monta sur la table et hurla : _
— _La ferme vous tous ! Et écoutez-moi bien ! À partir de maintenant, c'est moi le plus vieux ici, alors vous allez tous__m'écouter__. Arrêtons de nous mentir, les adultes sont bel et bien partis. Et oui, des pirates vont débarquer sur l'île, mais nous ne savons pas s'ils passeront par ici. Alors le mieux, c'est de continuer __à vivre comme avant__ et je vous __protègerai__._
_Tous les enfants furent dans un premier temps surpris, __puis__ rassurés ils savaient que Crocodile était quelqu'un de dur, mais __aussi__ d'__honnête et juste. Et s'il disait qu'il les protégerait, il le ferait. Alors chacun d'eux retourna à son activité journalière. Les jours passèrent sans heurt et le dénommé Crocodile organisait la vie de l'orphelinat au quotidien__.__ Il renforçait les liens entre les enfants, et de jour en jour, il se créait comme une famille. _
_Puis un matin, un équipage de pirate débarqua devant les portes de l'orphelinat. Le capitaine pris alors la parole : _
— _Bonjour à tous, où sont les adultes ? _
— _Ils sont partis, s'exclama Crocodile, je suis le chef ici maintenant. _
— _Bien, alors nous prenons les filles. _
— _Pas question, vous ne toucherez à personne ! s'écria Crocodile._
— _Ha ha ! Comme si tu allais nous en empêcher. _
— _Bien sûr que je vais le faire. _
— _Ha ha ! Tu es vachement gonflé de t'interposer entre nous, surtout que tu es seul contre nous tous. _
— _Vous ne me faites pas peur ! Personne ne quittera cet orphelinat tant que je serai là pour le défendre ! Que voulez-vous en __contrepartie __? _
— _Que serais-tu prêt à me donner ? _
— _Ce que vous désirez : nourriture, argent… même si on a presque rien…_
— _Tais-toi ! J'ai trouvé. Je veux que tu me donnes quelque chose d__e très __précieux à tes yeux__, afin de me montrer ta détermination à les protéger. _
— _Que voulez-vous ?_
— _Une de tes mains._
_Alors Crocodile avança vers le capitaine, de sa main droite il le délesta de son épée, et se trancha d'un coup net la main gauche. Sans un cri ni un bruit, il rendit l'épée __à__ son propriétaire et se baissa pour attraper sa main tombée à terre qu'il donna au capitaine des pirates.__Il demanda alors :_
— _Ce sera suffisant ?_
_Estomaqué, le capitaine mit un temps pour répondre. Il prit la main que lui tendait le jeune homme, la regarda__,__ éclata de rire __pour enfin crier __:_
— _Oui, ce sera suffisant. Mais je reviendrai quand tu seras majeur. Je te veux dans mon équipage. Tu as du potentiel pour un ado de quinze ans._
_À ces mots tout l'équipage fit demi-tour. »_
— Tu vois Sanji, c'est comme ça qu'il a perdu sa main, pour protéger les siens. Mais comme il veut que personne ne sache qu'il peut avoir un cœur, il ne parle de ça à personne. En fait il n'est pas si méchant.
— Ça va, n'en rajoute pas trop non plus, s'insurgea Cro.
— Oh pardon, mon cœur. Sanji, fit-elle en se retournant vers le cuisinier, tu dois te demander pourquoi j'ai subitement arrêté le flot d'images. Vois-tu, avec Cro vous avez tous les deux une connaissance en commun, et pas forcément des plus agréables à se rappeler… Il se trouve que dans les heures qui suivirent le départ des pirates, des révolutionnaires débarquèrent à leur tour sur l'île. Ils étaient à la poursuite de ces mêmes pirates. Quand ils déboulèrent à l'orphelinat, ils découvrirent Crocodile dans un mauvais état, brulant de fièvre, le moignon couvert de bandages. Les enfants avaient tenté d'arrêter l'hémorragie comme ils avaient pu, c'est-à-dire en brûlant les chairs avec des tisons encore incandescents de la cheminée. Les révolutionnaires ressentaient une vive émotion à le voir dans cet état, toutefois ils restaient impressionnés par le courage du jeune garçon. C'est alors que l'une d'entre eux qui s'y connaissait un peu en médecine proposa de le soigner. Aussi Sanji, je t'en prie, ne crie pas en entendant son nom, il s'agissait d'… Ivankov !
— Aaaaaaah ! fit-il en cherchant à fuir.
— Non, c'est bon Sanji, calme-toi, elle ne te fera plus de mal.
— Que lui arrive-t-il ? demanda Crocodile, surpris par l'attitude peu 'virile' du cuistot.
— Rien, il a passé deux ans avec elle. Sur l'île, ils voulaient tous l'habiller en fille.
— Ah ! Toi aussi tu y as eu droit.
À ces mots, Sanji reprit pied et regarda Crocodile de façon intéressée. Alors Apo continua l'histoire.
— Oui. Donc après lui avoir prodigué des soins plus adaptés à sa blessure, elle constata que sa fièvre baissait progressivement. Elle lui suggéra, sur le ton de l'humour, de remplacer son ancienne main par une factice ou un crochet. Mais Cro la prit au mot et décida donc de substituer sa main gauche par un crochet.
Les révolutionnaires décidèrent de rester un peu plus longtemps sur l'île. Mais Cro et cette fille n'arrêtaient pas de se disputer, pour un oui, pour un non. Alors un jour, de rage, elle le transforma en fille, lui vantant sa magnifique beauté Cro, lui, essayait de la frapper tout en la traitant de folle. Entre deux tentatives de coups de poing, elle le prit en photo dans cet accoutrement pour pouvoir exercer un chantage sur lui plus tard, au cas où… histoire qu'il n'oublie pas !
Le lendemain, une des filles de l'orphelinat fit comprendre à la révolutionnaire qu'il était tant que leurs chamailleries cessassent et que Cro devait retrouver son physique originel, car il serait ainsi mieux à même de pouvoir les protéger et les sauver.
Après m'avoir montré tout cela, il m'expliqua aussi que ses 'frères et sœurs' de cœur, en grandissant, se sont éparpillés sur plusieurs îles, et ont créé à leur tour de nouveaux orphelinats. Quant à lui, à l'âge de dix-huit ans, il suivit le capitaine qui était revenu le chercher. Il a travaillé pour lui pendant un temps. Comme il le haïssait, il chercha un moyen de s'en débarrasser pour continuer à protéger les siens. Alors, quand il découvrit le fruit du démon du sable, il en profita pour tuer le capitaine et tout l'équipage et devint pirate. Grâce à tous les trésors qu'il récoltait – en plus de celui qu'il avait volé au capitaine –, il aidait ainsi ses 'frères et sœurs' à l'orphelinat.
Si tu le voyais avec les siens, il est doux comme un agneau. On a peine à croire qu'il ait eu envie à un moment de devenir le Roi des Pirates, un Shishibukaï, jusqu'à vouloir conquérir le monde afin de protéger les siens…
— Hé ! N'en rajoute pas, ok ? Il faudrait pas qu'il me prenne pour un sentimental !
— Oui, mon chéri, promis, dit-elle avec un léger sourire.
— Sanji, ne te fie pas aux apparences, elles peuvent être trompeuses.
— Oui, je pense que j'ai compris, répondit-il en hochant la tête de bas en haut.
— Bref, pour en finir, je dirais qu'après cette discussion nous avons beaucoup réfléchi avec mes sœurs. Avec la perte de son titre de Shishibukai, il perdait aussi sa protection pour les orphelinats. Alors nous sommes allées avec lui à la rencontre de ses 'frères et sœurs' et, en tant que représentantes de la famille royale, nous avons pris de nouvelles dispositions. Il a été décidé que notre famille prendrait sous son aile les orphelinats, en leur apportant tout le soutien et le matériel nécessaires dont ils auraient besoin, et ce à deux conditions.
La première était qu'ils devraient accueillir tous les esclaves – libérés par nous ou par le Roi Grégory – et les aideraient à retrouver une vie de libertés, par le biais d'une éducation axée sur la lecture et l'écriture mais aussi en les ré-humanisant, notamment en donnant un nom à tous ceux qui étaient nés esclaves et qui ne portaient rien d'autre qu'un numéro. Tout cela pour qu'ils puissent un jour trouver un travail et vivre comme tout le monde.
La seconde était que Cro travaillât pour nous et qu'un jour il puisse retrouver son statut de Shishibukai, mais ça c'est encore en discussion. C'est ainsi que pour plus d'anonymat, on décida de prendre des noms d'emprunt comme Adam et Ève. Ces noms évoquaient pour nous un renouveau de l'humanité, comme un écho à ce couple dont nous serions les descendants. Bien que cela paraisse difficile à réaliser – sauver le monde j'entends –, Hinata y croit vraiment, alors nous avons finit par nous en convaincre aussi avec Léna.
— Ok je comprends mieux, et donc Hinata les a envoyés dans l'un de ces orphelinats tenus par l'une de ses 'sœurs de cœur', conclut Sanji.
— C'est cela.
— Merci pour cette explication, en fait t'es pas si mauvais que ça, je t'avais mal jugé, rigola Sanji.
— Ouais ! Mais si je te tue maintenant, tu le penseras toujours ? susurra Cro tout en se relevant.
Sanji s'éloigna de là en rigolant, il ne tenait pas forcément à énerver davantage le grand homme au crochet. Pendant ce temps, Apo s'était rendu compte que toutes les personnes qui se trouvaient autour d'eux avaient entendu leur discussion, et elle était bien heureuse de constater que tous avaient un peu changé leur regard vis-à-vis de son homme. Elle retourna dormir auprès de ses sœurs.
14. Chapter 12
Salut,
Encore merci à vous tous de me suivre. Long chapitre, avec beaucoup de flash-back. J'espère que ça vous plaira. Dans ce chapitre j'ai essayé de répondre à des questions que je me posais sur certain personnages donc il n'y a pas de spoiler juste de l'imagination.
Comme je vous l'ai déjà expliqué en ce moment la correction avance lentement, alors je publierai le chapitre 13 dans un mois donc le 25 juin. Le chapitre 14 sera publié en septembre donc c'est l'avant dernier chapitre avant les grandes vacances d'été.
Je vous souhaite une bonne lecture et vous remercie encore de votre soutien. Sam-Elias et RoronoaAgathou merci de vos conseils qui m'aide à améliorer mes écris.
**Chapitre 12 : Explication à tout l'équipage **
Un petit peu plus tard dans la matinée, Zoro entra dans la chambre où je somnolais pour m'apporter un magnifique plateau repas préparé avec attention par Sanji – je sentais que la soirée leur avait été très propice. Dragon avait quitté ma chambre un peu plus tôt, sans un mot, comme à son habitude. Zoro me tint donc compagnie, dans un silence apaisant, le temps du déjeuner, puis il repartit avec le plateau. Après ce repas frugal, je me rendormis jusqu'à midi je finis par me lever pour rejoindre la chambre de Zoro qui nous avait été attribuée à Mihawk et moi pour notre séjour à bord et tout en m'y dirigeant, je réalisais qu'avec les événements de la veille, Mihawk avait été également délogé – _j'espère qu'il aura trouvé un endroit convenable pour se reposer_, pensais-je, _je lui demanderai à table_. Je pris une douche rapide, m'habillai avec des vêtements frais – c'était agréable de sentir leur contact sur ma peau – puis je sortis pour aller manger avec tout l'équipage. Sur la porte de la cuisine, un panneau indiquait : « on mange chez Shanks ». Je montais à bord du navire de Shanks quand une clameur m'arriva aux oreilles. C'est alors que je vis une grande tablée réunissant les deux équipages ainsi que nos invités de marque.
— Bonjour à tous, dis-je. Mihawk, je suis désolée pour hier, on a dû te 'virer' de la chambre, avec toute cette histoire je n'y avais même pas pensé. Tu as pu trouver un endroit pour dormir ?
— Oui, ça va. J'ai veillé toute la nuit finalement je n'avais pas sommeil, je n'ai pas combattu, moi !
— Ok, je m'en voulais un peu…
— Pas de problème, répondit-il.
— Sanji ! Merci pour le petit déjeuner, c'était vraiment excellent.
— Avec plaisir, me dit-il.
— Je m'assois où ? J'ai une faim de loup si vous me permettez cette expression, fis-je en rigolant, je pense que j'ai trop dormi et maintenant j'ai un gros creux à l'estomac.
— Viens par-là, entre Zoro et moi, me dit Sanji.
— Ohhh, j'ai vraiment de la chance, entre mes 'deux papas'… commençai-je en rigolant.
— GRRR ! fit Zoro.
— Hein !? renchérit Sanji presque en même temps.
— Ben oui ! Ou alors je me trompe, mais vous passez beaucoup de temps à vous occuper de moi, à vous inquiéter pour moi et je reconnais que je n'ai pas trop l'habitude. Avec 'papa' Aokiji et 'papa'…
— Tais-toi ! hurla Aokiji pour la stopper dans son récit.
— Ah oui, pardon – dis-je sur un ton faussement désolé – mais eux deux ils savent, ainsi que Mihawk.
— Quoi ! Tu leur as dit ? cria Aokiji.
— Oui, il a bien fallu que j'en parle quand je leur ai raconté mon histoire dans tous les cas, tu n'as rien à craindre, vous êtes de la maison, comme on dit, ajoutai-je en riant.
— Mouais, tu pourrais demander quand même si ça ne me dérange pas trop qu'on raconte ma vie en mon absence, répondit Aokiji d'une voix neutre.
— Quel rabat-joie tu fais, précisai-je toujours en riant.
— Et nous, et nous, on peut connaître ta vie ? Tu as été impressionnante, je reconnais, j'ai pas tout compris et j'ai pas trop aimé ce que tu as raconté à un moment, mais Sanji m'a dit que tu jouais la comédie, et qu'en fait tu n'avais jamais mangé personne, c'est vrai ? De plus, avec Zoro ils ont précisé qu'on pouvait te faire confiance, que tu étais une bonne personne, alors je leur fais confiance. Sanji a aussi dit qu'il fallait que tu sois reposée pour tout raconter, alors t'es reposée ? Tu peux nous raconter, hein ? Et moi aussi je veux aller sur l'île avec Léna ce soir, c'est la louve c'est ça ? Waouh, elle est démentielle, je peux monter sur elle ? demanda Luffy surexcité.
— Luffy ! Arrête et laisse-la respirer veux-tu, ordonna Sanji. Elle a besoin de manger pour reprendre des forces.
— Merci Sanji, mais ça ira. Je comprends, Luffy, et je te promets de tout t'expliquer après le repas, mais avant, il faut qu'on discute d'autre chose.
— Ok, tu promets, alors !
— Oui et je tiens toujours mes promesses, enfin presque, mais celle-là oui.
— Ok, me répondit Luffy dans un grand sourire.
M'adressant à présent à Sanks sur un tout autre sujet, je repris la conversation :
— Shanks, les garçons ont parlé avec toi je suppose ?
— Oui, en effet.
— Alors, quand penses-tu ?
— Ma foi, ça pourrait être à la fois intéressant et divertissant, je compte bien te suivre pour ce conseil. Mais que fait-on pour les Tenryubitos ? tu crois qu'ils vont nous suivre ?
— T'inquiète pas pour ça, ils seront surtout là pour le _decorum_, seulement deux d'entre eux sont dignes d'intérêt à mes yeux et ils sont notre soutien au Roi et à moi de plus ils n'apprécient pas trop les autres Tenryubitos. Si tout le monde joue le jeu et que Luffy ne les frappe pas comme la dernière fois ou que Zoro n'essaie pas de les découper en morceaux, on peut s'en sortir.
— Haha ! Et tu crois qu'un miracle peut arriver, toi ? répondit-il.
— Pour être franche, je pense que les miracles existent et dans les prochains jours, si le voyage se passe sans encombre, je pourrai t'en montrer plus d'un.
— Vraiment ? fit Shanks incrédule
— Vraiment, dis-je avec aplomb. Alors, tu en es ?
— Jusqu'en enfer !
— Bien, et toi Aokiji, tu nous suis ?
— Oui, bien sûr. Je ne peux pas te laisser seule, tu ferais trop de bêtises. Ne suis-je pas un de tes « papas » comme tu le dis toi-même ?
— Effectivement et en tant que tel, tu sauras tout me pardonner, n'est-ce pas ?
— Je t'écoute, fit-il d'un air plus concentré subitement.
— Il y a deux ans, quand nous sommes partis précipitamment en laissant ton ami, je t'ai dit à ce moment-là que nous nous étions croisés et que je lui avais parlé, tu t'en souviens ?
— Continue.
— En fait j'ai un peu menti, je lui ai juste dit de lire le mot que j'avais laissé : _« On t'aime mais on doit partir. Va voir le Roi. N'essaie pas de nous contacter. H & A. »_ et je me suis éclipsée.
— Ok, fit-il dans un grand silence, cela veut-il donc dire qu'on va se faire massacrer ?
— Oui et si je me trompe pas, ça va arriver aujourd'hui ou demain.
— Entendu, merci pour l'info.
— Ce n'est pas tout !
— Pas tout ? Vas-y, dis-moi.
— Heu ! Pour ça, il faudra attendre un peu car ça ne concerne pas que toi et je dois trouver un moyen de vous en parler au même moment…
Aokiji paraissait troublé.
— Rassure-toi, ton homme n'est pas concerné.
— Qui alors ?
— Plus tard, s'il te plaît !
— Ok…
— Cro ? Daz ? Vous venez aussi ?
— À ton avis ? répondit Cro sans lever la tête de son assiette.
Daz, à ses côtés, se contentait de hocher la tête en signe d'approbation.
— Parfait, on va donc attendre que tout le monde soit là pour en parler concrètement.
D'ailleurs, qui représentera Luffy ? fis-je en m'adressant aux personnes concernées.
— Haha ! tu as bien compris, rétorqua Nami, n'importe qui fera l'affaire.
— Alors nous verrons ça ensemble plus tard.
— Hey, fit Luffy, je ne suis pas bête !
— Non, fit Zoro, mais comme moi, tu te sens vite dépasser quand les phrases se compliquent et tu vas préférer partir t'amuser ou aller dormi – ce que je fais la plupart du temps.
— Ouais c'est bien vrai haha ! rigola Luffy.
— Baka ! Pourquoi tu te sous-estimes comme ça ? répondis-je à Zoro en le frappant sur la tête. Tout comme Luffy, tu as de l'instinct – ce qui fait votre force – et beaucoup aimerait en avoir autant !
— Elle a raison marimo, ajouta Sanji dans un grand sourire adressé à Zoro.
— Jimbei tu rejoins l'équipage de Luffy ?
— Oui, me répondit-il.
— Bien, j'en suis ravie, dis-je.
— Et toi Mihawk, tu nous suis ? demanda Shanks.
— Ouais ! D'habitude je n'aime pas les réunions de ce style, mais là je sens que je vais m'amuser, dit-il en souriant.
Le repas se déroula tranquillement, tout le monde rigolait, certains se battaient, Luffy vidait les plats et les assiettes. Le repas fini, on débarrassa la table, rangea tout le mobilier et certains aidèrent même les cuistots des deux équipages à faire la vaisselle. Vers trois heures de l'après-midi, il ne restait plus une trace du gigantesque repas qui nous réunissait tous et là, Luffy me sauta dessus :
— Maintenant, tu nous racontes ta vie et tu es vraiment ma sœur ?
— Ok, je vais tout te raconter, mais avant je dois m'assurer de quelque chose. Et oui, je suis ta demi-sœur aînée, nous avons le même père, mais pas la même mère.
— Pourquoi tu ne l'as pas dit tout de suite, dit-il en faisant la moue.
— Pour te protéger… En fait, je ne tenais pas à te raconter ma vie car… car elle n'est pas très belle…
— M'en fous, je veux tout savoir de ma sœur, fit-il tout excité.
— Pfff ! Quand tu as une idée en tête, toi… ! J'ai vais bien être obligée de te raconter mon histoire si je veux un minimum de paix... Mais avant ça, j'ai une petite question à te poser : que sais-tu en matière de 'relations sexuelles' ? Visiblement tu sembles hermétique à mon pouvoir de télépathie, je n'arrive pas à voir si tu as reçu une quelconque éducation sexuelle…
— Heu ! Je ne comprends pas pourquoi tu as besoin de savoir ça pour me raconter ta vie… protesta-t-il avec surprise.
— Réponds-moi, s'il te plaît, on perd du temps, dis-je en poussant un soupir.
— Heu ! D'accord, pour être franc, je n'y connais pas grand chose hormis ce qu'a pu raconter Shanks quand j'étais gamin, mais la plupart du temps ce n'était que des bribes assez incompréhensibles. Sinon, Boa Hancock m'avait demandé de l'épouser mais j'ai refusé, ça compte ça ?
— Bon pour gagner du temps, on va dire que tu ne sais rien, je te ferai donc une petite mise au point pour que tu puisses suivre mon histoire sans m'interrompre. Je suis ton aînée, et à ce titre je peux le faire, mais j'aurais préféré que cela vienne de quelqu'un d'autre. Quant à Hancock, tu as bien fait, c'est une Amazone aussi écervelée qu'inexpérimentée en matière d'hommes, mais j'avoue que ça aurait pu être cocasse comme relation. Qui d'autres pour la mise au point ?
— Fais un tir groupé, me fit remarquer Mihawk, tu gagneras du temps.
— Pas bête en effet, lui rétorquai-je. Avant de vous montrer l'étendue de mes pouvoirs, j'aimerais vous donner quelques explications : tout d'abord, il faut que vous sachiez que la plupart des événements que vous allez voir ont eu lieu quand j'étais jeune, je vous demande donc d'être indulgents – certains d'entre vous connaissent déjà une partie de ma vie, mais là je vais en rajouter une couche, et pas des plus agréables… ensuite, pour que vous compreniez bien certaines situations, je vais vous les faire vivre et vous allez tout ressentir comme si vous étiez vous-mêmes acteurs de ces scènes enfin, vous verrez des interactions avec le Monde des Morts car j'ai la possibilité d'y aller et de voir les fantômes avant qu'ils n'y partent – le Roi Enma, du Royaume des Morts, et l'Ange du Destin sont des personnes que je fréquente régulièrement. Peut-être que certains d'entre vous m'en voudront de ne pas vous l'avoir dit – notamment toi Aokiji – mais vous comprendrez mieux en voyant le reste. Pour terminer mon introduction, ou plutôt pour commencer mon histoire, je vais vous apprendre à distinguer les différents types de relations sexuelles…
— Différents ? reprirent en chœur les membres de l'équipage.
— Oui, disons la différence entre des relations consenties et mal intentionnées, entre couples hétérosexuels ou homosexuels. Mais commençons d'abord par une relation hétérosexuelle consentie…
_Une chambre tout ce qui a de plus simple, une armoire, une commode, un lit deux places. La porte s'ouvre d'un grand coup, un jeune homme d'une vingtaine d'années entre en courant et en riant suivi d'une fille qu'il tient par la main et qui rit aux éclats. _
— _Dépêchons-nous, on a une heure ou deux – pas plus – avant que mes parents ne rentrent ! _
— _Super ! fit-elle avec une moue de déception, va falloir qu'on se dépêche comme d'habitude… Tu crois qu'un jour on pourra faire ça en prenant notre temps ? _
— _Oh oui… quand on aura notre appart mais si tu veux, on le fait chez tes parents… _
— _T'es fou ? Mon père nous tuerait. _
_Ils rirent et s'embrassèrent fougueusement puis commencèrent à se déshabiller l'un l'autre en même temps. Il la prit dans ses bras, elle s'accrocha à son cou et quand il la souleva, elle mit ses jambes autour de son bassin. Il l'entraîna vers le lit et l'allongea sur le dos, sous lui il embrassa son cou et fit glisser ses doigts le long de son corps. Elle sentait le désir monter en elle et soupira de plaisir tout en resserrant son étreinte autour du garçon. Il poursuivit son exploration corporelle, léchant et caressant la poitrine de son amante. Là, elle rigola et le fit basculer sur le dos pour se mettre à cheval sur lui elle amorça une tendre cavalcade tout en lui caressant et embrassant le torse à son tour, puis progressivement elle s'approcha du pénis de son amoureux et commença une fellation qui le mit dans tous ses états. Quand elle le sentit prêt, elle se releva, l'embrassa à nouveau sur la bouche et se laissa faire. Il l'attrapa délicatement par les hanches pour la positionner à nouveau sur le dos et se mit à lui lécher le sexe, toujours en douceur. Il saisit sa verge, l'humecta de salive et pénétra sa partenaire il engagea de lents va-et-vient puis accéléra graduellement ses efforts pour lui donner de plus en plus de plaisir et finit par se libérer en elle. Il se retira, s'allongea à ses côtés et la masturba. Quelques minutes plus tard, elle se contracta, ferma les yeux et sentit le plaisir s'immiscer tout en elle, puis dans un puissant râle, elle jouit. Ils se regardèrent et rirent de plaisir. Il la serra amoureusement contre lui, la caressa longuement – le tout accompagné de mots doux –, puis ils finirent par s'endormir dans les bras l'un de l'autre. _
» À présent, voici une relation homosexuelle consentie, entre deux hommes par exemple…
_Une chambre d'étudiant, quelques posters – figurant pour certains des paysages rougeoyants ou des volutes oscillant entre bleus et verts, d'autres représentant des hommes, plutôt légèrement vêtus – affichés sur les murs, une chaise et un bureau – sous la fenêtre au fond de la pièce – rempli d'affaires, surplombé de papiers punaisés dont un indiquant un emploi du temps, une armoire-penderie sur la gauche – la porte coulissante de droite laissant apparaître quelques vêtements –, le lit devant l'armoire, face à la porte d'entrée, à moitié défait. C'est une fin d'après-midi, le soleil rasant illumine toute la pièce avant une dernière révérence, deux jeunes hommes – la vingtaine – entrent. _
— _Tu es sûr qu'il n'y a personne chez toi ?_
— _Pourquoi es-tu si nerveux, ce n'est pas la première fois…_
— _L'excitation sûrement… _
_Le premier garçon attrapa alors son ami par la taille et l'embrassa passionnément. Délicatement, ils commencèrent à quitter une à une leurs affaires jusqu'à retirer leurs hauts. _
— _Attends, ne sois pas si pressé…_
_Il empoigna le T-shirt de son conjoint et le lui enleva doucement : à chaque fois c'était la même émotion, redécouvrir encore et encore ce torse musculeux, sec, parfait. Et son ami, de se retrouver dans cette situation, soumis aux caprices de son amant, mais il adorait ça, il n'attendait que ça. À son tour, il déboutonna la chemisette de son homme et lentement descendit le long de son torse. Un pur enchantement renouvelé. _
— _Je t'aime, lui susurra-il depuis sa position accroupie._
_Il lui léchait le nombril, son amant trouvait ça très agréable, il en ressentait des frissons qui remontaient le long de son torse. Il en profita pour saisir une sorte de foulard qui traînait sur la chaise et le garda à la main, tout le temps que son ami s'occupait de son nombril. _
— _C'est pour quoi faire ?_
— _Tu verras, lui dit-il de manière énigmatique._
_Assis sur le lit, ils continuèrent à s'embrasser, se caresser, s'enlacer. Puis le jeune qui avait le foulard à la main s'en servit pour bander les yeux de son ami. Il s'agenouilla ensuite devant lui pour lui embrasser les mains, les bras et terminer par les aréoles. Il finit par retirer le reste des vêtements de son amant et se déshabilla intégralement lui aussi. Ils remontèrent vers le haut du lit pour s'allonger complètement. Tout en le caressant, il lui écarta les jambes et commença par embrasser ses cuisses, son bassin de la pointe de la langue, il tournait autour du pénis de son play-boy puis remonta le long pour le gober pleinement et le sucer. Tout en faisant ça, il défit le bandeau et le jeta à travers la chambre. Il lâcha le pénis et ils s'installèrent plus confortablement, l'un sur l'autre. Celui de dessous caressait longuement le dos et les fesses de celui de dessus, il lui écarta les jambes à son tour, puis – salivant ses doigts – il introduisit un premier, puis un second dans l'anus de son chéri. Il se retira alors doucement de l'étreinte de son amant – qu'il laissa à plat ventre sur le lit – et alla se placer au-dessus. L'homme allongé ramena ses genoux tout en gardant le haut de son torse sur le lit. L'autre mouilla son sexe excité par la fellation et pénétra son amant le plus doucement et lentement possible pour ne pas lui faire mal et lui procurer le plus de plaisir possible. S'amorça alors une longue série de va-et-vient, de plus en plus torrides, pendant laquelle il profita pour passer une main entre les jambes de son cher et tendre, caresser ses cuisses – ce qui accentua les effets de la sodomie et le fit gémir plus fort –, empoigner sa verge et caler ses mouvements sur ceux de la pénétration. Puis n'y tenant plus, les deux hommes crièrent ensemble de plaisir celui du dessus se libéra dans son amant mais resta en position tout en continuant les va-et-vient sur la verge de ce dernier jusqu'à ce qu'il jouît et éjaculât dans la main qui le branlait. Une fois l'excitation retombée, il se retira et ils s'allongèrent sur le dos, enlacés :_
— _Tu vois, il n'y avait pas lieu de s'inquiéter, mes parents sont absents pour deux ou trois jours, dit le premier garçon en l'embrassant sur le front._
— _Oui, tu avais raison. Ça va, toi ? _
— _On ne peut mieux, merci, lui répondit-il dans un grand sourire. _
— _Je t'aime lui dit son amoureux, se serrant fort contre lui, les yeux fermés. _
_Le jeune homme rabattit alors un drap sur eux et ils s'endormirent._
— Vous avez bien enregistré les deux situations ? Nous sommes d'accord pour dire que ces personnes étaient consentantes pour faire l'amour, n'est-ce-pas ?
Tous opinèrent du chef.
— Bien, maintenant voici une situation d'une relation mal intentionnée que l'on appelle un 'viol'. Si je vous montre ça, c'est parce que ça existe, pas pour que vous le reproduisiez, ni pour que vous le laissiez faire si jamais vous en êtes témoin, tu m'as bien comprise Luffy ?
Luffy acquiesça.
— Alors allons-y, accrochez-vous bien…
_Une femme marche dans un parc, apparemment désert et de nuit elle presse le pas car il ne fait pas très chaud. Elle distingue une ombre dans l'obscurité, mais n'y prête pas attention, elle veut vite rentrer chez elle pour se réchauffer. L'ombre se rapproche d'elle :_
— _Alors ma jolie, comme ça on se promène tard le soir ? Tu ne devrais pas te balader seule comme ça, on fait facilement de mauvaises rencontres… _
— _Bonsoir, fit-elle dans un sursaut – un peu nerveuse –, je ne vous avais pas vu…_
— _Ça te dérange si je t'accompagne un petit bout, lui dit-il en l'attrapant par le bras._
— _Pardon je… Mais que me voulez-vous ? Lâchez-moi ! cria-t-elle. _
— _Tu sais très bien ce que je veux, des petites putes dans ton genre avec des fringues de traînées ne se promènent jamais toutes seules par hasard ! lui rétorqua-t-il. _
— _Vous êtes malade ! Lâchez-moi je vous dis, on m'attend, fit-elle en essayant de se dégager._
— '_On' finira de t'attendre ! tonna-t-il avec véhémence. _
_Et il l'entraîna avec lui un peu plus loin dans le noir, elle essaya de s'extirper mais il avait trop de force pour elle, alors elle cria. Il la gifla fort et la poussa par terre un peu sonnée, elle essaya de se relever. Il s'assit alors sur elle, attrapa ses bras, les bloqua dans son dos et les attacha avec une corde qu'il sortit de la poche de sa veste. Elle se débattait – comme une tortue sur le dos qui essaie vainement de se retourner – mais n'arrivait pas à bouger à cause des entraves elle se remit à crier, à hurler même, alors il attrapa un gros rouleau de ruban adhésif et lui scella les lèvres pour avoir la paix quelques temps et acheva cette première étape en lui assénant un violent coup de pied dans les côtes, histoire de l'immobiliser un moment. Il se releva, dégrafa son pantalon, le fit glisser le long de ses jambes et s'agenouilla devant elle, un sourire vicieux aux lèvres. Elle essaya encore de se débattre, de se hisser loin de lui, mais il attrapa une de ses jambes et la ramena brutalement vers lui – il en profita pour renifler son odeur, une odeur de peur, de haine envers lui, il adorait sentir ça, ça le stimulait encore plus – il passa ses mains sous sa jupe et lui retira sa culotte avec force. Il se mit à cheval sur elle et tout en se léchant les babines, commença vraiment à prendre du plaisir quand il la vit pleurer : il déchira son chemisier, saisit fortement chacun de ses seins dans ses mains pour les malaxer puis lui lécha la poitrine elle voulut crier de nouveau, mais rien ne sortait de sa bouche à part un bruit étouffé par le ruban adhésif, ce qui le divertit davantage encore : _Vas-y ! Débats-toi, hurle ! C'est tellement bon_, dit-il avec un sourire vicelard. Puis sans crier gare, il la pénétra violemment et sans ménagement la culbuta comme un vulgaire animal il attrapa son cou d'une main ferme – il voulait maîtriser chaque centimètre carré de sa proie, qu'elle sente qui était le maître : _Vas-y !_ hurla-t-il, _débats-toi encore salope !_ – et serra son étreinte pour qu'elle se contracte davantage et lui donne plus de plaisir encore. Il se vida en elle, comme un vulgaire lapin, tout en renforçant son étreinte autour de son cou. Puis il se retira, attrapa sa bouche pour l'embrasser et la remercia pour tout. Une fois rhabillé, il partit, la laissant là, inanimée – comme un prédateur lassé de jouer avec sa prise – peut-être même morte. Au petit matin, un coureur qui traversait le parc la trouva près d'un bosquet, il appela une ambulance et la police : elle était encore en vie._
— Mais… pourquoi… ? fit Luffy, les yeux embués de larmes, comme tétanisé par ce qu'il venait de vivre.
— Parce que la nature humaine est ainsi faite.
— C'est tout ? Pourquoi m'as tu montré ça ? dit-il en colère.
— Ta réaction me dit que j'ai vu juste, tu n'es pas encore prêt à voir le reste…
— Non, attends ! Tu as promis que tu me montrerais ta vie.
— Luffy ! intervint Dragon, ta sœur ne cherche qu'à te protéger. Et je comprends qu'elle ne veuille pas poursuivre si tu ne peux supporter ça, alors je n'ose imaginer pour le reste…
— Le reste ? répliqua Luffy
— Oui, le reste : ma vie, mes souffrances, mes pouvoirs… le reste quoi ! répondis-je un peu excédée.
— Tu veux dire qu… qu'on… ?
— Oui, fis-je en baissant les yeux quelques secondes, plus d'une fois et avec plusieurs hommes !
— Je ne suis plus un enfant, alors vas-y ! Si c'est ça la nature humaine, alors je veux la voir, renchérit Luffy.
— Bien mais à une condition.
— Laquelle ?
— Ne cherche pas à me venger mais apprends plutôt à pardonner à ceux qui m'ont causé du tort ou qui n'ont pas su agir en connaissance de cause… Les regrets sont pour moi, et je les assume pleinement. Cro, j'espère que tu comprendras mieux notre geste en voyant certaines scènes de ma vie d'avant, je ne cherche pas à m'excuser, juste à te montrer le pourquoi du comment. Luffy, tu me promets de ne pas les retrouver tous autant qu'ils sont, sous aucun prétexte ?
— Oui, je te le promets, répondit-il avec aplomb, tout en fixant sa sœur dans les yeux.
— Bien, je te fais confiance.
Sanji, Zoro et Mihawk connaissaient déjà certains éléments de ma vie, je devais donc mettre à jour le reste de l'équipage pour pouvoir rajouter d'autres épisodes et compléter les lacunes de chacun. Une fois tout le monde sur un pied d'égalité, je commençai par leur raconter ma mort et ma rencontre avec la mère de Sanji, je devais avoir dix ans…
_Marine Ford, une grande pièce avec une baie vitrée et des observateurs qui regardaient à travers. Au milieu de la pièce, moi, Hinata, dix ans, violée et à moitié étranglée par un Tenryubito. Sa réputation de refroidir ses amants de tout sexe pendant l'acte le précédait partout où il écumait – cela l'excitait, disait-on –, toujours est-il que les scientifiques, eux, jubilaient car ils voulaient voir si mon fruit du démon divin allait fonctionner et au bout de combien de temps ! Ils le laissèrent donc finir son œuvre, puis le raccompagnèrent vers la sortie, me laissant inerte dans le lit._
_Un chemin lumineux se présentait devant moi, je ne comprenais pas vraiment où j'étais, je ne ressentais plus grand chose sauf une grande plénitude qui m'envahissait, puis en avançant, je trouvai une immense porte et devant, une femme en larmes. _
— _Madame, vous allez bien ? Pourquoi pleurez-vous ? Je peux vous aider ?_
— _Oh, merci jeune fille, mais vous ne pouvez pas m'aider. J'étais avec mon fils de trois ans et subitement, je me suis retrouvée ici, seule… J'ai tellement peur pour lui, je l'attends, et s'il ne vient pas, alors j'espère qu'il ira bien._
— _Oh, j'en suis sûre. Je vais l'attendre avec vous._
— _Non allez-y, passez la porte, ça va aller._
— _Bien, à bientôt, alors._
— _Oui, merci._
_Je passai donc la porte, entrai dans une grande salle et me dirigeai vers le fond de la pièce. Elle était longue et finement décorée comme dans un palais, je trouvais ça magnifique. Au fond, la pièce devenait immense, elle s'étalait à droite et à gauche, des bureaux partout occupaient l'espace auxquels s'affairait beaucoup de monde au grand bureau du milieu, un homme me regarda – une plume en l'air – et me dit :_
— _Bonjour jeune fille. Qui es-tu et que__fais-tu ici ?_
— _Je m'appelle Hinata._
— _Hinata ! Je ne t'attendais pas._
— _Et qui attendiez-vous ?_
— _Une jeune femme nommée Sandra._
— _Ah ! Ça doit sûrement être la jeune femme à la porte qui attend son fils._
— _Son fils ? Oh ! je vois, dit-il, elle n'a pas dû comprendre, ça arrive souvent quand la mort est violente._
— _La mort ? Je suis donc morte moi aussi ? Enfin, dis-je pour moi-même, je vais pouvoir me reposer._
— _Te reposer ? Mais pour quoi faire ? Je viens de te le dire, je ne t'attendais pas !_
— _Mais si je suis venue ici… ?_
— _C'était un accident, fit la voix d'une jeune femme qui se matérialisa derrière l'homme. Ah la, la ! Seigneur Enma, vous êtes bien mal embouché aujourd'hui ! Bonjour Hinata, je suis un ange du destin et je suis celle qui veille sur ta vie. Cet homme ici présent est le Seigneur Enma, il règne sur les morts. L'homme qui t'a violée t'a également étranglée, mais comme tu possèdes le fruit du démon divin tu es donc immortelle comme nous et tu vas pouvoir retrouver ton corps. Le dernier à avoir connu cette situation est Brook, il avait mangé le fruit du démon de la résurrection « yomi yomi », malheureusement en revenant vers son corps il s'est perdu en chemin et ne le retrouva qu'un an après, d'où son physique de squelette à présent. Mais je suis là pour t'éviter la même mésaventure. Je sais que tu souhaites aider Sandra, tu le lui a proposé d'ailleurs, mais il faut que tu saches un petit peu comment fonctionne ton nouveau pouvoir : grâce à ou à cause – comme tu préfères – de ta mort, tu as maintenant pleinement accès au Monde des Morts et tu peux venir comme bon te semble par projection ou 'mode fantôme', comme maintenant. Tu vas ainsi pouvoir côtoyer d'autres fantômes, les aider, et en retour, ils te présenteront ou te parleront de personnes qui vont peupler ta destinée, celle que tu as vue après avoir mangé le fruit du démon divin. _
— _Vraiment ? Je veux dire… ce que j'ai vu peut arriver ? Je sais que… c'est difficile à expliquer, mais ce que j'ai ressenti était… J'ai dû mal à le croire, pourquoi moi ?_
— _Haha ! Tu le sais parfaitement, tu es la reine qui changera ce monde, grâce à l'appui de certains de tes proches dont le fils de cette femme. Il est en vie et tu auras la charge de le sauver pour qu'il te vienne en aide par la suite. Ainsi, sa mère pourra passer la porte sereinement. _
— _Attends ! dit Enma, je ne comprends pas tout, mais tu ne peux pas faire d'elle une shinigami._
— _Certes, mais je vais t'expliquer. Je te demande juste de me faire confiance et de la laisser agir. C'est pas toi qui trouvais que c'était un peu trop ennuyeux ici ? Cette femme est la clé de ton bonheur futur, crois-moi !_
— _Ce n'est pas forcément pour me rassurer ce que tu dis là, je comprends encore moins qu'avant, dit-il. _
— _Vous allez rencontrer mon fils, lui dis-je._
— _Ton fils ? Pour quoi faire ? demanda-t-il étonné._
— _Il sera votre compagnon, je l'ai vu, cependant, l'avenir reste incertain, peut-être ne naîtra-t-il jamais !_
— _Tu as encore le temps de penser à ces choses-là à ton âge…_
— _Haha ! Seigneur Enma, tu ne sais visiblement pas à qui tu as affaire ! Vas-y Hinata, fais confiance à ton instinct. J'expliquerai tout à Enma et vous aurez l'occasion d'en reparler plus tard. Hâte-toi à présent de rejoindre ton corps, tout se passera bien, tu verras. _
— _Au revoir, fis-je en me retournant. _
_Je me précipitai vers la porte en courant. _
— _Vous êtes Sandra ? demandai-je un peu essoufflée._
— _Oui. Oh, tu es la petite fille de tout à l'heure ? répondit-elle rassurée. _
— _Oui, c'est bien moi, mais nous n'avons pas trop de temps, suivez-moi et écoutez-moi attentivement, lui dis-je rapidement en lui attrapant le bras pour l'éloigner de la porte…_
— _Mais… fit-elle sans comprendre ce qui se passait._
— _Écoutez-moi, vous dis-je : nous sommes dans le Royaume des Morts, mais votre fils, lui, est toujours en vie, quelque part seul sur Terre, il faut donc aller le secourir. Où étiez-vous la dernière fois que vous étiez avec lui ? _
— _Je ne sais pas, je ne me rappelle plus…_
— _Faites un petit effort, lui dis-je doucement pour la calmer, pour votre fils…_
— _Très bien, je…, fit-elle en se concentrant._
_Et par télépathie, elle me montra l'endroit en question. En un instant, on se retrouva là-bas. Elle gisait là par terre, morte, son fils allongé à côté d'elle, inanimé. _
— _Sanji ! cria-t-elle affolée._
— _Ça va, dis-je pour la rassurer, il est vivant, je sens son pouls. Que s'est-il passé ?_
— _Je suis la princesse Sandra, de l'île Aphrodite et mon fils est le prince Sanji. Nous avons été attaqués par des marines qui se font passer pour des pirates._
— _Pourquoi ?_
— _Il y a trois ans, des pirates avaient déjà envahi l'île et j'ai été… disons que Sanji est le fils du capitaine. Les marines qui nous ont agressés considèrent les pirates et leurs descendances comme une menace qui doit être éradiquée. Plusieurs femmes sur cette île ont porté un enfant de pirate, et je m'inquiète pour elles et les autres habitants._
— _J'en suis navrée, mais au moins il vous ressemble, fis-je dans un sourire contrit… Si un enfant était né de mes viols successifs, j'aurais souhaité qu'il me ressemble également, plus qu'à mon agresseur… _
—_Mais je ne considère pas Sanji responsable de la situation… Ce gamin est la plus belle chose qui me soit arrivée et après cela, mon meilleur ami m'a épousée et à adopter mon fils afin qu'il ait un père et qu'on ne rejette pas la honte sur ma famille… Aokiji – c'est le nom du père adoptif de mon fils – est un haut gradé de la marine justement, et sous aucun prétexte il ne doit apprendre la vérité, je ne veux pas qu'il quitte la marine ou qu'il ait à subir des problèmes par ma faute. Si on réussit à cacher Sanji dans un endroit sûr, Aokiji partira sûrement à sa recherche, il l'aime comme si c'était son vrai fils. _
— _Très bien, laissez-moi m'en occuper, il y a un couple derrière les arbres, je vais leur montrer l'endroit où vous êtes allongés tous les deux. En revanche, pour les autres femmes de l'île, je ne peux vous garantir leur sécurité ni pour le reste de l'île._
— _Je comprends, merci quand même… fit-elle dans un sourire las._
_Je pris le couple par la main et le menai vers l'enfant. Après s'être assurés qu'il respirait encore et que sa mère était bien morte, ils le soulevèrent et le calèrent au chaud dans leurs bras. J'expliquais à Sandra qu'ils ne la reconnaissaient pas car ils faisaient du tourisme sur l'île. Une fois l'enfant bien protégé, je leur ouvris un passage vers une plage sur laquelle j'avais fait échouer une embarcation. Ils montèrent à bord et entamèrent leur voyage. J'expliquai à Sandra que j'allais les protéger pendant leur périple et qu'en temps et en heure, je ferai le nécessaire auprès d'Aokiji, maintenant que je savais à quoi il ressemblait. Elle me remercia et repartit l'esprit tranquille vers le Royaume des Morts accompagnée de tous les habitants de la petite île. _
_Ce jour-là, deux îles disparurent : celle d'Aphrodite et celle d'Ohara. Je pensais tristement qu'aujourd'hui, Aokiji sauva un enfant mais en perdit un en contrepartie. J'avais peut-être eu raison de ne rien dire à Sandra, elle aurait également pleuré pour Ohara. Mais comment allais-je pouvoir parler à Aokiji, et allait-il me croire ? Je verrai avec le temps. Maintenant que Sanji était sauvé et sa mère partie en paix, je retournai dans mon corps pour ressusciter. Je voyais les scientifiques s'extasiaient du 'miracle'. Une heure à peine s'était écoulée, le temps m'avait paru plus long… _
— Les garçons… ça va ? Je… vraiment désolée… je continue, on reparlera de tout ça une fois que j'aurai fini. Maintenant, voici ma rencontre avec Déborah… – Luffy me regarda bizarrement – oui Luffy, il s'agit bien de ta mère…
_Une nuit que je dormais profondément, je me retrouvai happée dans le monde des morts. Là, je vis une femme qui pleurait. _
— _Mon fils… Je ne peux pas le laisser seul… _
— _Bonjour, je peux vous aider ?_
— _Mon fils… Je viens de le mettre au monde et j'en suis morte… je ne peux pas le laisser seul…_
_Je regardais autour de moi, étendue sur un lit, couverte de sang au niveau du bassin et des jambes, cette femme venait de faire une hémorragie en accouchant. Debout à ses côtés, un homme lui tenait la main gauche serrée entre ses deux mains, de l'autre côté du lit, une femme portait un nouveau-né dans ses bras. _
— _Dragon… je suis désolée, je n'ai rien pu faire, elle a perdu trop de sang, mais ton fils va bien, prends le dans tes bras._
— _Dragon… murmurais-je furieuse._
— _Oui, précisa la femme à mes côtés, c'est mon compagnon… Oh, il s'en remettra, j'ai toujours su qu'il aimait bien plus sa première femme – morte il y a quelques années – que moi, toutefois, je pense qu'il m'appréciait quand même… _
— _C'EST FAUX ! hurlai-je, cet homme n'a jamais aimé personne, il ne sait pas ce que ça veut dire. Il faut lui retirer cet enfant avant qu'il ne s'en débarrasse rapidement !_
— _Je ne pense pas, il n'est pas aussi odieux qu'on le dit, il est juste maladroit, c'est tout…_
— _Vous l'aimez ?! demandai-je, pleine d'incompréhension._
— _Oui, même s'il ne m'a pas aimée autant en retour, mais je suis heureuse car Luffy va vivre._
— _Luffy ? C'est votre fils ? _
— _Oui, fit-elle dans un sourire attendrissant en le regardant dans les bras de la sage-femme. _
— _Au temps pour moi, je n'aurais pas dû dire ça finalement vous avez raison, je ne le connais pas assez pour fonder mon jugement que sur de simples rumeurs… Néanmoins, son père étant un révolutionnaire, il serait peut-être plus sage et plus prudent de pouvoir le confier à une personne digne de confiance pour qu'elle l'élève loin de tout ça. Connaîtriez-vous quelqu'un qui pourrait l'accueillir ? _
— _Il y a bien son grand père – Garp –, sinon ma sœur qui habite à Fuchsia, une ville du Royaume de Goa._
— _Il ira chez votre sœur. Garp est un marine plutôt solitaire à ce qu'on m'a dit, je ne suis pas sûre qu'il pourra assumer ça tout seul… _
_J'expliquai donc à Déborah ce que j'allais entreprendre et lorsqu'elle fut enfin rassurée, elle partit dans le Royaume des Morts et je mis mon plan à exécution. _
_Quelques semaines après cet événement, je décidai de m'éclipser du complexe scientifique pour partir à la recherche de Dragon. Je savais qu'il avait choisi la voie de la facilité, comme il l'avait fait neuf ans plus tôt pour ma mère et moi. Quand je l'eus retrouvé, on se toisa du regard, il détourna le sien et passa son chemin sans m'avoir reconnue. _Lâche !_ lui criai-je dans son dos. Puis de rage, je courus chez Garp – inconsciemment, même si je lui en voulais d'être né, Luffy restait mon demi-frère, et j'aurais eu toute ma vie sur la conscience de pas m'être occupée de lui comme il fallait – et lui demandai :_
— _Où est-il ?_
— _Qui ça ?_
— _Mon frère, Luffy ! Je sais tout, je le hais ! Il te le refile comme un vulgaire paquet, mais tu vas en faire quoi ? Hein ?! Tu as de quoi le changer au moins, le nourrir, le faire dormir… ? Mais t'es malade de le laisser comme ça sans protection sur le canapé ! Et s'il tombe ? Donne-moi de quoi le caler sur le sofa le temps que tu appelles quelqu'un pour te le garder. Moi j'ai un truc à faire en attendant, je reviendrai ce soir. _
— _Mais qui veux-tu que j'appelle ?_
— _J'en sais rien ! Y a bien un marine qui doit savoir s'occuper d'un enfant et qui pourrait passer une heure ou deux avec lui, non ? _
— _Oui il en a bien un, mais… je ne sais pas trop._
— _Pourquoi ?_
— _Eh bien, il a perdu sa femme et son fils récemment. Il a cherché son fils partout car le corps était introuvable et… disons qu'il s'en remet difficilement, alors…_
— _Alors quoi ?_
— _Alors ? Ben, pas sûr qu'il soit la personne appropriée, il a tenté de se suicider quand même ! Je suis intervenu _in extremis_, un vrai concours de circonstance, ton autre grand-père voulait que je lui ramène._
— _Ok. Il s'appelle comment ?_
— _Aokiji, pourquoi ? fit-il d'un air un peu méfiant._
— … _Rien, appelle-le. Mais tu sais, il est plus fort que tu ne l'imagines et je pense que ton message est passé quand tu lui as expliqué qu'il était trop jeune pour perdre espoir, que son fils était peut-être toujours en vie, quelque part, et qu'il fallait qu'il continue à le chercher. _
— _Hinata, tu… commença-t-il._
— _Appelle-le ! l'interrompis-je d'un ton sec._
— _Évidemment ! Et moi qui me demandais pourquoi Sengoku ne comprenait pas ce dont je lui parlais. La prochaine fois que tu veux que j'aide quelqu'un, appelle moi directement. Ne passe pas par un 'intermédiaire' comme ton grand père avec le message « urgent » écrit en gros, je passerais moins pour un con !_
— _Garp appelle Aokiji, fis-je sur le ton de l'impatience, je rentre dès que possible._
_Je m'éclipsai avant de recevoir une autre pluie de reproches. Garp finit par appeler Aokiji qui vint s'occuper de mon frère pendant que ce premier partait faire quelques achats. _
_Il était autour de 20 heures quand je revins. En entrant dans la maison, je perçus des sons qui venaient d'une pièce du fond. Je les suivis et les trouvai tous les trois dans une chambre qui fut certainement celle de Dragon quand il était enfant. _
— _Merci beaucoup d'être venu Aokiji. Ton aide a été précieuse, fit Garp, tenant Luffy dans ses bras._
— _Oh ! c'est rien…_
— _Si, vraiment, grâce à toi, ça a été plus facile de s'occuper du petit. Je me fais vieux et tout ça n'est plus de mon âge, mais en attendant que je le confie à sa tante, il fallait parer au plus pressé : changer une couche, préparer un repas adapté, monter le lit et la poussette… Merci encore._
— _Haha ! C'est comme le vélo ça, ça ne s'oublie pas ! Ça me rappelle le temps où je m'occupais de Sanji quand sa mère était bien trop affairée et fatiguée pour le faire… Aokiji s'arrêta de parler et stoppa son regard dans le vague comme s'il y cherchait encore une lueur à laquelle s'accrocher. _
— _Je comprends, fit Garp presque dans un murmure._
_Un malaise s'était installé dans la pièce, j'en profitai pour faire irruption : _
— _Hum-hum ! fis-je pour attirer l'attention. Si vous permettez, je vais à présent faire manger Luffy et le mettre au lit pour qu'il se repose. Un bébé de son âge a besoin de beaucoup de sommeil et de silence. _
_M'adressant à Aokiji, je lui demandai : _
— _Vous restez dîner avec nous, Monsieur ?_
— _Heu… non je… j'ai quelque chose de prévu ce soir. De toute façon j'avais fini, je m'en vais._
— _Bien, merci pour tout et bonne soirée._
— _Oui, avec plaisir, bonne soirée à vous également, dit-il avec un sourire gêné._
_Il se leva et regagna la porte d'entrée, raccompagné par Garp et moi-même. Ils se serrèrent la main et Aokiji sortit._
— _T'as pas l'impression de l'avoir mis à la porte un peu brutalement, là, non ? Tu sais que je déteste quand tu utilises tes pouvoirs pour imposer leur volonté aux gens. _
— _Ne t'inquiète pas pour ça. Allez, je vais faire manger Luffy, tu m'aides ?_
— _Grumph… Je croyais que tu l'appréciais cet Aokiji ? Sinon, pourquoi m'envoyer le sauver ? _
— _Qui te dit que ça vient de moi ? Tu te fais tes propres films ! Et puis tu sais, je ne suis pas vraiment celle que tu crois, un marine reste un marine, et je n'aime pas les marines !_
— _Tu__tiens un futur marine dans tes bras ! _
— _Haha ! Tu es un marrant, toi ! Luffy, un marine ! Arrête, je vais mourir de rire. _
— _Ben quoi ? _
— _Rien, tu ne comprendrais pas._
_Et j'entrai dans la cuisine pour nourrir Luffy. _
_Je décidai de rester chez Garp pour m'occuper de mon frère jusqu'à ce qu'ils appareillent trois jours plus tard pour Fuchsia, non sans l'avoir assommé d'une multitude de conseils pour être sûre que Luffy irait bien pendant le voyage. _
— L'épisode suivant – je devais avoir autour de 13 ans – explique entre autre chose avec quelle violence les scientifiques arrivaient à leur fin avec moi…
_Marine Ford, ma chambre. Un marine entre en trombe sans frapper : _
— _Toi, suis moi !_
— _Où ?_
— _Fais ce qu'on te dit, pas de discussion !_
— _Ok…_
_Je suivis le marine dans un long couloir peu éclairé, puis il s'arrêta et me fit entrer__dans une pièce où se trouvait un enfant de deux ans. Éparpillés un peu partout, se trouvaient les restes d'un marine déchiqueté dans un coin, le corps tout tremblant, se tenait le petit, prostré et couvert de sang jusque sur la bouche. _
— _Tue-le ! m'ordonna le marine._
— _Pourquoi ?_
— _Ça ne se voit pas, non ?_
_Je n'avais nullement l'intention de le tuer, mais plutôt de chercher à l'aider par n'importe quel moyen, aussi je m'approchai doucement de lui pour éviter de l'effrayer davantage. L'enfant me regarda, une lueur de conscience dans les yeux, se jeta sur moi, transformé en loup, et avant de m'atteindre, s'affaissa dans mes bras, mort. Un reste de détonation raisonnait encore à mes oreilles, le marine avait tiré dans sa tête. Mais ce qu'il n'avait pas vu, c'était que l'enfant avait transformé – l'espace d'un instant – son bras en glace. Un second marine arriva en rigolant. _
— _Parfait ! Ce monstre est enfin mort, plus de problème. Mais je ne comprends pas pourquoi tu as hésité ? me demanda-t-il. _
— … _je restais là, pétrifiée, incapable de lui répondre._
— _Oh ! Mais nous savons que tu as compris qui il était. Haha ! Tu es bien assez intelligente et maligne avec tes pouvoirs pour ne pas avoir deviné son ascendance… Veux-tu que je comble tes lacunes ? À ton avis, qui sont ses parents ?_
— _Aokiji et moi, murmurais-je._
— _Effectivement ! Malgré le refus d'Aokiji et de Smoker de coucher avec toi il y a deux ans, nous voulions quand même tenter une nouvelle expérience : que tu tombes enceinte d'un logia pour étudier l'héritage génétique de l'enfant ! Sachant que tu trouverais tous les subterfuges possibles et imaginables pour t'en préserver ou t'en débarrasser le cas échéant, nous avons opté pour une solution, disons 'radicale' : te plonger dans un coma léger après t'avoir engrossée avec le sperme d'Aokiji – nous lui en avions demandé un échantillon lors d'une visite médicale de routine, il ne pouvait pas refuser, haha ! – et suivre ainsi ta grossesse jusqu'à l'accouchement. Nous t'avons réveillée deux mois plus tard. Tu avais remarqué ce 'trou' dans ta vie pendant un an, toutefois tu n'as rien dit, trop contente qu'on te laisse un peu 'respirer' pendant qu'on s'occupait du petit. C'est étrange comme il vous ressemblait, il avait hérité de ton don qui permet de ressentir la sexualité chez les autres – mais t'inquiète pas, on ne l'a jamais violé directement ! – et maintenant je vois qu'il possédait aussi le pouvoir de la glace, comme son père… Vraiment dommage, avec un tel talent – glace, sexe et lycanthropie – nous aurions eu une arme de premier choix pour l'avenir, mais nous ne pouvions le garder, il avait goûté au sang trop tôt par rapport à nos objectifs. Contrairement à toi, il serait devenu bien trop incontrôlable. À présent, suis-moi ! _
_Péniblement, comme frappée par une massue, je me relevai, incapable d'articuler un mot, et pourtant il n'avait pas tort : j'avais abandonné mon propre enfant pour quelques heures de tranquillité. Les marines sortirent en premier – l'un d'eux avait négligemment attrapé mon fils par un pied pour le jeter dans l'incinérateur – je suivis le cortège, traînant un peu des pieds, la tête basse – qu'allait dire Aokiji ? pensais-je pour moi-même, il va forcément m'en vouloir, me haïr, me fuir même. Arrivée devant l'incinérateur, je regardais le marine s'affairer puis entendis un bruit de porte et de serrure. Là, le regard vague, j'observais les flammes embrasser ce petit corps, ce que moi-même je n'avais pas été en mesure de réclamer pour mon fils._
— _Tu dois te dire que tu aurais préféré qu'il hérite de ton pouvoir de résurrection ! Je sais que tu t'es jetée dedans, lâcha-t-il en désignant l'incinérateur d'un air neutre. On ne gagne pas à tous les coups, insista-t-il d'un rire franc, mais on fera mieux la prochaine fois, ne t'inquiète pas pour ça, ironisa-t-il._
— …
— _Tu peux retourner dans ta chambre à présent, nous en avons fini pour le moment, me dit-il sur un ton sec._
_Tout cela se passait de commentaires, je leur appartenais pour l'éternité quoi que je fasse. Je retournai donc dans ma chambre et m'endormis. C'est alors que je me retrouvai devant les portes du palais d'Enma. _
— _Qui es-tu, petit ? demanda Enma à l'enfant._
— _Yué Aokiji D. Monkey, répondis-je._
— _Oh, bonjour Hinata, tu vas bien ? me demanda-t-il dans un grand sourire._
— _Oui, merci, fis-je en lui rendant son sourire. Peux-tu me rendre un service en tant qu'ami et t'occuper personnellement de cet enfant, il est seul, n'a que deux ans et a toujours vécu séquestré. _
— _Pourquoi ? fit-il._
— _C'est son fils, répondit l'ange du destin qui venait de se matérialiser près de l'enfant. Cet enfant est particulier, il a hérité de certains pouvoirs de ses parents comme la glace, le sexe ou encore la lycanthropie, de ce fait il va continuer à grandir et à développer ces pouvoirs. Mais il faut être attentif à sa croissance, car il a déjà goûté au sang humain, et la bête en lui peut le rendre vulnérable. _
— _Bien sûr, dans ce cas je m'en chargerai personnellement, répondit Enma. Qui est le père ? C'est pour le formulaire, précisa-t-il un peu confus._
— _Aokiji. Mais ne mentionne pas mon nom pour la mère, après ce qu'il s'est passé, je ne me sens plus digne d'être considérée comme telle – ce qui va renforcer ma conviction de plus jamais être mère, je ne suis pas fait pour ça ! Tu l'as bien vu toi, que je l'ai abandonné, dis-je en me tournant vers l'ange, alors s'il te plaît ne lui parle que de son père, c'est plus préférable pour sa vie ici. _
— _Vas-tu lui dire, à Aokiji ? me demanda-t-elle._
— _Bien sûr, je ne peux pas garder ça pour moi._
— _Je comprends, tu as raison d'être honnête envers lui, fit l'ange._
— _Honnête !? Tu ne m'as pas comprise ! C'est pour qu'il souffre suffisamment au point qu'il me haïsse et quitte ma vie définitivement. Je ne mérite plus sa confiance… _
_Je regagnai aussitôt mon corps et partis rejoindre Aokiji le soir même._
— _Aokiji ! Il faut que nous parlions, c'est très important._
— _Mais bien sûr Hinata, installe-toi et raconte-moi tout._
_Je m'asseyais en face de lui pour tout lui expliquer. Comme toujours, je passai par une connexion télépathique pour illustrer mes propos évidemment, j'ai volontairement omis de lui montrer la fin de ma conversation avec le Seigneur Enma. Je voulais également lui parler de Sanji, mais je n'en eu pas la force. Et contre toute attente, Aokiji me prit dans ses bras et me serra fort contre lui. _
— _Merci… énonça-t-il d'un air mélancolique, tu sais que je suis là et que ça ne change rien à ce que je ressens pour toi, tu n'as rien à te reprocher. _
— _Mais je l'ai laissé souffrir, seul, sans même chercher à le défendre ou le venger, insistai-je, les larmes aux yeux._
— _Chhh ! Tout va bien, me dit-il en resserrant son étreinte autour de moi, je sais ce que tu ressens et je te connais assez pour savoir que tu as fait pour le mieux. Tu vas avoir quinze ans, t'es à peine une adolescente, et tu as encaissé des choses dans ta vie qu'aucun adulte ne connaîtra peut-être jamais, et ce sans te plaindre – jamais –, alors crois-moi, ça va aller, et puis tu sais que tu peux te confier à moi sans hésiter, j'aurai toujours une oreille attentive pour toi. _
— _Merci, lâchai-je dans un sourire las, mais ça n'enlèvera pas cette douleur ancrée au plus profond de moi. _
— … _Qu'est-ce que je peux faire pour t'aider ? _
— _Aide-moi à en finir avec tout ça, je n'en peux plus… _
— _Je ne ferai jamais ça, je tiens trop à toi pour… _
— _Tue-moi ! le tançai-je._
— _Mais… tu ne peux pas mourir… précisa-t-il d'un air hébété_
— _Alors partage cette souffrance avec moi, toute seule je n'y arriverai plus, c'est trop douloureux… Je l'aimais cet enfant en fin de compte… Je veux que tu souffres comme… _
— _Là, là, chhh… je suis là, je vais t'aider, je t'aime, je t'abandonnerai__s__ jamais. Je souffrirai avec toi autant que tu veux, comme je souffre avec vous trois pour tout._
— _Merci… fis-je en m'essuyant les yeux avec un mouchoir._
— _Salut ! Je suis rentré, fit une voix d'homme._
— _Heu ! avons-nous réagi à l'unisson, Smoker ?_
— _Oui c'est moi, j'habite ici, non ? Hey ! Qu'est-ce qui ce passe ? Pourquoi vous pleurez ?_
— _Rien, rétorquai-je, un truc stupide… on vient de voir un film et il était trop triste, alors on s'est mis__a pleurer, on est trop con parfois… _
— _Bah ! Vous êtes trop mignons surtout. Et tout en nous prenant dans ses__bras, il continua : c'est moi le plus con des trois, parce que là je suis trop heureux, j'aurais jamais cru dire ça mais je suis content d'être avec vous, on est une vrai famille et ça me plaît. Il se releva après nous avoir embrassé sur la tête. Bon, je vais faire le repas il est tard Hinata, tu dors avec nous ce soir et pas de discussion ! ajouta-t-il dans un grand sourire. _
— _Bonne idée, dit Aokiji, et elle dormira avec nous, comme le ferait une famille quand l'un des siens a fait un cauchemar et qu'il a besoin d'être rassuré._
— _Eh bien, je ne veux pas le voir votre film, si c'est triste à ce point. Pas de problème pour cette nuit : Hinata, tu dormiras avec nous, c'est dit._
_Nous nous sommes regardés tous les trois et nous avons explosé de rire. Une famille, oui on en avait une… Je lui parlerai de Sanji plus tard, il comprendrait… Il m'aime et je le crois lui quand il le dit, et même Smoker. Moi aussi je les aime. _
— Les deux dernières parties à venir racontent ma première rencontre avec Zoro – je devais avoir 16 ans – et la mort de Ace – là, je devais en avoir 26…
_Cette nuit-là, je dormais chez Aokiji. On s'était endormis sur le canapé et Smoker nous avait mis__une couverture dessus pour qu'on ne prenne pas froid. J'étais si bien dans les bras protecteurs d'Aokiji, quand subitement je suis retrouvée devant une tombe. Un enfant de huit ans pleurait, agenouillé auprès de la pierre tombale, et assise sur la stèle portant une inscription, une petite fille de douze le regardait, transparente comme un fantôme. _
— _Bonjour, fis-je, je suppose que cette tombe est la tienne ? Tu t'appelles Kuina, c'est ça ? lui demandai-je en essayant de lire son nom sur la stèle gravée. Ça fait longtemps que tu attends là ?_
— _Je suis bien Kuina et je suis venue avec lui… me répondit-elle tranquillement en désignant le garçon à genoux._
— _Qui est-ce ?_
— _Mon meilleur ami, Zoro Roronoa, il s'en veut de me survivre._
— _Ah bon, raconte-moi ? fis-je d'un air surpris et intéressé. _
— _Le soir avant ma mort accidentelle – dans un escalier que j'ai dévalé en trébuchant – on s'était fait une promesse : l'un de nous deux devait devenir le meilleur bretteur du monde. Mais sans moi, il se demande à quoi sert cette promesse. Il s'en veut de ne pas avoir été là, mais il n'aurait rien pu faire, c'était mon destin._
— _Effectivement, alors pourquoi restes-tu là ? »_
— _Je ne veux pas partir en le laissant dans cet état. En fait, il m'a redonné espoir et j'aimerais faire de même, comme pour rembourser ma dette…_
— _J'aimerais aussi entendre cette histoire, lui dis-je._
— _Oh, en fait notre promesse est née de ce qu'il m'a dit ce soir-là. On passait notre temps à se battre et je gagnais à chaque fois, mais ce soir-là, j'étais en colère contre lui car quand il a perdu. Il s'est mis à pleurer et à se plaindre de sa faiblesse, alors je lui ai dit qu'il n'avait pas le droit de se plaindre, car moi j'étais une fille et que donc un jour je ne progresserai plus alors que lui il continuerait à le faire en tant que garçon et que c'est moi qui devrait pleurer de pas être née homme. Et il m'a répondu que j'étais idiote, et que homme ou femme ça n'avait pas d'importance, pour lui le plus important c'était les véritables capacités. Et c'est comme ça qu'on a fait cette promesse. Tous les hommes pensaient que j'attendrais mes limites__mais pas lui, lui il croyait en moi, alors je veux croire en lui. Je veux qu'il tienne notre promesse pour nous deux, mais surtout pour lui, et je veux qu'il me dise au revoir pour pouvoir avancer._
— _Je vois, et je crois que je peux t'aider._
— _Vraiment ?_
— _Oui, moi aussi j'ai rencontré des hommes comme lui, qui ne te jugent pas, et qui savent te rappeler que chacun a sa place dans ce monde, même si tu en doutais encore. L'un d'eux est chez les morts, je te le présenterai. En tout cas, j'ai une idée, laisse-moi faire._
_Après lui avoir exposé mon plan, j'attendis sa réaction. Elle était satisfaite, et put partir soulagée. _
_Je me dirigeai alors vers Zoro pour lui faire comprendre qu'il était important, s'il tenait à faire honneur à son amie, de tenir la promesse qu'il lui avait faite. Je lui conseillai également de prendre avec lui l'arme de la jeune fille afin que cette dernière l'accompagne partout. Enfin, je lui expliquai qu'il était temps pour lui d'aller de l'avant, d'accepter la mort de son amie car là où elle était maintenant, elle était heureuse. Il se redressa, sécha ses larmes et partit d'un air décidé. _
_Je retournai alors dans mon corps et me réveillai. _
— _Hinata ! fit Aokiji, je crois qu'on s'est endormi… Tu pleures ?_
— _Oui, j'ai rêvé d'une promesse._
— _Hein !?_
— _J'ai rêvé de deux enfants qui s'étaient fait une promesse au-delà de la mort et j'avais oublié que moi aussi j'avais promis à__quelqu'un de réaliser son dernier souhait._
— _Lequel ?_
— _Il voulait que je devienne la plus grande reine du monde._
— _Ah ! je vois. Et qui c'était ?_
— _Le plus grand roi de ce monde._
— _Hein !?_
— _Gold D. Roger. Je vais réaliser son souhait, Aokiji. Je deviendrai reine et je changerai__ce monde, je tiendrai ma promesse moi aussi. Cette petite fille a raison, on ne peut pas toujours se laisser abattre par la mort de nos proches et essayer de poursuivre les rêves qu'on avait. J'espère vraiment pouvoir les rencontrer à nouveau tous les deux et leur parler, et surtout à lui, car il affirme que seules les capacités sont importantes, pas notre identité sexuelle. Je pense qu'il pourra m'accepter telle que je suis, non ? Tu crois que d'autres personnes pourront devenir mes amis, comme vous l'avez fait ? — Bien sûr ma chérie. J'espère que tu pourras le rencontrer, et que tu auras plein d'autres amis c'est mon souhait pour toi, je veux que soit heureuse._
— _Merci, je te souhaite la même chose._
_Smoker arriva sur ces entrefaites, souriant : _
— _Allez ! Au lit maintenant, il se fait tard et une longue journée nous attend demain. Et vu votre état, je pense que nous allons dormir ensemble tous les trois ce soir, je me trompe ? _
_En guise de réponse, nous l'avons regardé avec de petits yeux rougis, signe qu'une fois encore, nous avions besoin d'être consolés, et surtout moi. Alors je finis par m'endormir une nouvelle fois entre mes 'pères de substitution'. _
_Nous venions de quitter la ville quand la bataille commença. J'étais si furieuse qu'ils m'eussent droguée, car je ressentais tous mais ne pouvais pas bouger. La bataille faisait rage, c'est alors que je sentis la présence de Shanks et compris que tout était fini. Je sombrai ainsi dans l'inconscience et allai retrouver les morts de la bataille devant les portes du palais du Seigneur Enma. _
— _Que se passe-t-il ? demandai-je surprise de les voir attendre._
— _Je ne sais pas, répondit un homme, les portes ne s'ouvrent pas._
— _Impossible ! lui fis-je, elles s'ouvrent toujours. Attendez, je m'en occupe. Ohé ! là-haut ! C'est Hinata. Pourquoi le Seigneur Enma n'ouvre-t-il pas ?_
_Pour toute réponse, un corps à moitié décapité tomba devant mes pieds. _
— _Ooooh ! fis-je, je vois… Restez là et reculez un peu s'il vous plaît._
_Je tapai dans le vide et créai un séisme qui fit bouger la porte, mais pas assez à mon goût. Je vis alors un grand homme qui faisait pareil au-dessus de moi et la porte bougea encore un peu plus. On se regarda, et de concert, on recommença une nouvelle fois ensemble et la porte explosa. Je courus le plus vite possible à l'intérieur du palais, suivie des hommes qui attendaient à la porte._
— _Vous devriez rester là, expliquai-je, ce combat n'est pas le vôtre ! De plus, je suis surprise que vous ayez encore vos pouvoirs ici, dans le Royaume des Morts, et particulièrement vous, capitaine Barbe Blanche, car Barbe Noire a trouvé un moyen de s'approprier les pouvoirs des fruits du démon après la mort de leurs possesseurs et s'est donc emparé du vôtre ! _
— _Il en a donc deux à présent, c'est bien ça ? lâcha-t-il d'un air résigné._
— _Oui…_
— _Vous étiez présente quand il l'a fait ?_
— _Oui mais je me pouvais rien faire…_
— _Mais vous aussi, vous semblez posséder le même pouvoir que le mien, je me trompe ?_
— _Ce serait long et compliqué à vous expliquer. J'étais essentiellement venue vous voir et dire à Ace que Luffy va bien, ainsi que Marco. La guerre est finie par sa seule présence, Shanks a fait cesser les combats._
_Une plainte surgit tout à coup._
— _Aaaaaaaaaaaaah ! ENMA !? Ça va ? cria un homme._
_Je stoppai net. Je connaissais cette voix, il s'agissait de mon fils, Kyo. Je regardais alors autour de moi : _Une attaque contre le palais_, murmurai-je. Nous étions dans le jardin et beaucoup de personnes se battaient. Je me rapprochai de Kyo et du Seigneur Enma. _
— _Hinata, Enma est blessé ! Faut le soigner ! T'as bien le don de guérison ?_
— _Oui, je vais le soigner. Mais que s'est-il passé ?_
— _Un coup d'état ! Désolé, faut que j'y aille… _
— _Non, att… ends… !_
_Et avant que je finisse ma phrase il se transforma en loup et partit se battre. _
— _Et mer…, fis-je._
— _Ça va aller, intervint une femme. _
— _Déborah ! Mais pourquoi dis-tu ça ?_
— _Ta mère va l'aider, elle a pris en charge son éducation._
— _Isabelle !? Tu déconnes j'espère ? répondis-je spontanément avec de grands yeux. _
— _Elle a changé, me rétorqua-t-elle avec un sourire bienveillant._
— _Super ! Et tu crois vraiment que ça va me rassurer de me dire ça ?_
— _Fais-leur un peu confiance, objecta le Seigneur Enma en se relevant, merci pour les soins que tu m'as prodigués, rajouta-t-il dans un sourire bienveillant. _
— _Avec plaisir. De combien de combattants disposes-tu ?_
— _Regarde par toi-même, pas grand monde…_
_En effet, je regardais tout autour de moi : Kuina, Roger et une partie de son équipage qui l'avait rejoint outre tombe, Isabelle, Kyo. Tout ce petit monde se battait au loin. Finalement, la présence de Barbe Blanche et de ses troupes ne serait pas de trop, me dis-je. _
— _Vous voulez bien nous aider ? demandai-je à Barbe Blanche._
— _Oui, bien sûr, me répondit-il._
— _Bien, alors allez avec Roger, je m'occupe du reste._
_Et je filai rejoindre Kuina, Kyo, et Isabelle._
_La bataille ne dura pas longtemps, les ennemis furent mis en déroute par nos différentes équipes, à coup d'éclairs, de tornade de vent et de sable ou encore d'épées. Nous sommes restés un moment dans le jardin, le temps de reprendre quelques forces et d'observer le spectacle d'après bataille. _
— _J'ai ramené le docteur, dit une femme._
— _Oh ! bonjour Sandra, répondis-je._
— _Hinata ! Comment vas-tu ?_
— _Très bien merci. Docteur, ça devrait aller, commençai-je à expliquer, j'ai déjà guéri le Seigneur Enma et je peux à présent m'occuper des autres blessés, ajoutai-je._
_Je fis couler mon don de guérison à travers les corps meurtris de mes alliés._
— _Merci, répondirent-ils en se relevant les uns après les autres._
— _De rien. En fait j'étais venue pour vous donner des nouvelles, et en prendre d'ici._
_Je racontai alors les dernières aventures de l'équipage des mugiwara, et les détails de la guerre. Nous étions tous réunis à discuter de choses et d'autres. Ace retraça les meilleurs moments de son enfance passée avec Luffy, ce qui réconforta Déborah, puis, il alla parler avec son père et sa mère. Là, contre tout attente, Kyo vint me voir._
— _Hinata, merci d'avoir soigné le Seigneur Enma._
_Je lui répondis par un sourire._
— _Je peux te poser une question ?_
— _Oui, bien sûr._
— _J'ai entendu parler beaucoup de gens à ton sujet, que tu essayais de faire au maximum le bien autour de toi._
_Je l'écoutais religieusement, attendant qu'il eût terminé pour lui répondre._
— _Tu es ma mère, n'est-ce pas ? Au fond de moi je l'ai toujours senti, et à chacun de tes passages, ça devenait de plus en plus évident. Même si tu m'as pas élevé en tant que tel, je reste ton fils, et le fait que tu viennes prendre des nouvelles régulièrement montre ton attachement à ma personne… _
— _Bien sûr, finis-je par dire, les yeux embués de larmes. Mais vois-tu, la situation était assez compliquée, j'étais très jeune, inexpérimentée et surtout pas fière de la façon dont les choses se sont déroulées. Mais sache qu'avec ton père – Aokiji – nous pensons souvent à toi, et t'aimons énormément._
— _Merci maman, dit-il en se jetant dans mes bras._
_Je resserrai mon étreinte autour de lui, comme pour rattraper toutes ces années… _
_Je restai encore un moment puis réintégrai mon corps en promettant de revenir au plus vite pour apporter d'autres nouvelles du monde d'en haut. _
15. Chapter 13
Salut à tous,
Je vous remercie encore de me suivre. Dernier chapitre avant septembre, il est petit mais il introduit de nouveaux personnages et en fait revenir d'autres pour amorcer un chapitre très long et mouvementé.
Sinon pour cette longue absence vous me verrez pour certain peut être en tant que lectrice car je compte bien lire. C'est pour cela que je vous donne certain auteur à lire si cela vous intéresse. Allez sur mon profil et vous verrez mes auteurs préférés mais je vais quand même vous en citer ici (au cas où vous n'aviez pas le temps d'aller sur mon profil) :
**Scorpio-no-Caro****: **qui vous offrira des très beaux textes sur Saint Seiya, Bleach, Kuroko no Basuke et Prince of Tennis.
**Saharu-chan****:** qui vous offrira des très beaux textes sur Saint Seiya, Naruto, D. Gray-Man.
**RoronoaAgathou****: **qui vous offrira des très beaux textes sur One Piece.
**Sam-Elias****: **qui vous offrira des très beaux textes sur One Piece, Blue Exorcist, Brave 10, Blood Lad, Free !, Shingeki no Kyojin, Beyond the Boundary, Haikyu, Terror in Resonance, Gekkan Shōjo Nozaki-kun et Naruto.
**Andarta la Celte****: **qui vous offrira des très beaux textes sur Saint Seiya, Yami no Matsuei, Gundam Wing/AC.
**Roussette****:** qui vous offrira des très beaux textes sur One Piece, Game of Thrones, Bleach.
**Celephais****:** qui vous offrira des très beaux textes sur Web Shows.
**Et bien d'autre sur mon profil. **
Je vous souhaite de très bonnes vacances d'été et vous donne rendez-vous en Septembre, biz bonne lecture. Peacecraft.
**Chapitre 13 : L'arrivée des protagonistes **
Nous avons rouvert les yeux, le silence se fit entendre, et personne n'osait dire un mot quand une voix rompit ce silence :
— Yo ! Messieurs-dames, savez-vous qu'il est facile de vous tuer en un rien de temps ? fit un homme
— Haha ! Croyez-vous ça ? m'exclamai-je. Sachez que l'homme qui vient de vous aider n'était pas le vrai Franky, car comme vous pouvez le constater, le vrai se trouve à ma droite. Ce qui signifie que derrière vous, c'est un de mes clones ! Je peux par exemple cloner l'équipage en entier : chaque clone prend alors l'apparence et le pouvoir du modèle d'origine. Autrement dit, je peux trouver des arguments assez frappants quand je ressens de l'animosité dans mon entourage ! précisai-je en souriant. J'espère que vous allez bien, je vous attendais, Trafalgar Law.
— Oh ! Vous m'impressionnez mademoiselle. Pour une jeune fille de dix ans, vous avez de l'aplomb et de sacrés pouvoirs, me répondit-il.
Mihawk s'approcha de lui et lui murmura :
— Elle n'a pas dix ans, mais 28. Et ne te fie surtout pas à ce corps si frêle, tu serais surpris.
— Ah ouais ! Plutôt surprenant, de la part d'un gars qui justement se fie beaucoup aux apparences, ce n'est pas pour ça que…
— Il se fait tard, le coupai-je, on n'a pas vu passer l'après-midi. De plus, il faut que je mange rapidement avant de partir. Et m'adressant à Nami : serait-il possible de s'arrêter près de l'île s'il te plaît ?
Alors qu'elle me faisait un signe pour accéder à ma demande, je sentis l'approche de deux bateaux de la marine.
— Je pars à leur rencontre et ensuite, je passerai la nuit sur l'île…
— Je viens avec toi, intervint Daz.
— Non, et je suis sérieuse quand je dis que ça peut être très dangereux : le mois dernier je n'ai pas réussi à me rassasier correctement, j'ai peur que ce soir ce soit un véritable carnage !
— Je viens quand même, insista-t-il.
— NON !
Et Léna se manifesta, assez grande pour avoir les yeux à la hauteur de ceux de Daz :
— Personne ne m'accompagnera ces trois prochaines nuits, pas même toi ! À la moindre odeur humaine, je suis incapable de me contrôler et de distinguer les amis des ennemis : je tue et je dévore, c'est aussi simple que cela !
— Alors dis-moi pourquoi je suis toujours en vie !? demanda-t-il d'un air entendu.
— Arg ! fit Léna avant de retrousser ses babines et de montrer ses crocs.
Elle s'avança dangereusement de son visage et ajouta :
— Je ne veux aucun humain avec moi, pas même toi !
Un crochet vint alors s'interposer entre ses mâchoires alors qu'elle allait claquer ses dents.
— Désolé ma belle, mais je voudrais qu'il vive, il m'est encore précieux, et ramenant de ses doigts le museau de Léna vers ses yeux, il précisa : autant qu'il t'est précieux et que tu es précieuse à tes sœurs et à moi, suis-je assez clair ? Alors maintenant passe-moi Apo, quant à Daz il reste avec moi cette nuit, on est d'accord ? demanda Crocodile.
Décidément, elle n'aimait vraiment pas les manières de cet humain, mais par égard pour ses sœurs, elle se contenta d'un grognement d'aigreur en guise de réponse et céda sa place à Apo.
— On peut dire que tu sais causer aux femmes, toi ! ironisa Apo en se frottant la bouche. Et la prochaine fois que tu veux attirer notre attention, précisa-t-elle en souriant, vas-y moins brutalement, j'ai la bouche délicate moi. Tu voulais me parler, Cro ?
— Oui, suis moi, faut que j'te dise un truc. Sanji, peux-tu lui préparer à manger avant qu'elle aille sur l'île : pas de viande – elle en mangera bien assez cette nuit – uniquement des fruits et des légumes, merci.
— Merci, Sanji kun.
Cro et Apo s'isolèrent sur le bateau de Luffy pour discuter. Une demi-heure plus tard, un bateau se positionna à côté de celui de Shanks et un homme sauta à bord en criant :
— HINATA ! AOKIJI ! Où êtes-vous ? Vous me devez une petite explication pour votre départ précipité il y a deux ans sans donner de nouvelles !
— Arrête ! Aokiji n'y est pour rien ! C'est moi qui est tout planifié… criai-je tout en courant vers lui.
— Tu pleures encore ? me demanda-t-il.
— Mais quelle famille mélodramatique, je vous jure ! fit Cro en se matérialisant à mes côtés.
— Que fais-tu là toi ? C'est à cause de toi qu'elle pleure ? fulmina-t-il.
— Il semblerait en effet, et tu ne t'es pas privé pour en rajouter une couche visiblement.
— Je vais te tuer enfoiré…
— Arrêtez tous les deux ! Smoker, s'il te plaît, Cro n'y est pour rien, ce ne sont pas des larmes de tristesse…
— Hein ! Cro ? balança-t-il surpris. Comment ça, 'Cro' ?
— Ces larmes sont celles d'Apo ! Je n'ai pas vu ma femme depuis six mois et au moment où on peut enfin se retrouver, tu débarques ! C'est moi qui devrais te faire la peau…
— Cro, la ferme !
— Il est sérieux ?! Hinata ?
Je le regardais en silence.
— Il est sérieux. Je vous perds des yeux pendant deux ans et tout ce qu'Apo trouve à faire, c'est s'enticher du pire gars qu'on puisse trouver sur cette planète ! Et Aokiji ? Il m'a quitté pour qui ?
— Pour personne ! lui dit-il calmement. Malgré ces deux années d'absence, tu douterais encore de mon amour et de ma fidélité ?
— Heu, je… fit-il en se mordant les lèvres.
Aokiji l'interrompit en l'embrassant sur les lèvres.
— Chut… reprit-il. Apprécie juste l'instant présent.
Il se pencha à l'oreille de Smoker et lui murmura quelque chose qui le fit rougir.
— Suis-moi, je vais tout t'expliquer.
Aokiji lui prit la main et ils partirent sur le bateau de Smoker.
— Nous vous abandonnons un moment… je te laisse t'occuper des Tenryubito comme une grande ma belle, tu n'as pas besoin de nous, énonça-t-il avec un clin d'œil.
— Ça ira, après tout je suis la reine, non ? Je pourrai tout gérer sans problème. Bonne nuit vous deux, et soyez sages !
— N'en rajoute pas, me crièrent-ils.
— Bien, voilà comment va se dérouler le reste des opérations jusqu'à la rencontre officielle : pendant que de mon côté, je ferai des escales, vous tous continuerez jusqu'au point de rendez-vous où on se retrouvera dans trois jours. Une fois que vous serez là-bas, Aokiji gèrera toute la logistique pour mon arrivée, c'est bien compris ? demandai-je à Tashighi.
— Oui, mais Aokiji est un ancien marine. Son intervention sera-t-elle bien perçue ? me rétorqua-t-elle.
— Ne t'inquiète pas pour ça, tu auras la charge de commander pendant ces trois prochains jours, car à partir de maintenant, je doute qu'un seul des deux ne sortent de la cabine de Smoker d'ici votre arrivée sur l'île. D'ailleurs, personne ne devrait savoir qu'il est là, sauf si…
— Sauf si ? interrogea-t-elle.
— Non, rien. Je dois voir les Tenryubitos rapidement et ensuite manger avant de faire une sortie. Allons-y, tu vas me conduire auprès de leur navire.
— Entendu, fit-elle.
— Dis-moi, les pièces sont bien insonorisées j'espère ? Car si ce n'est pas le cas, je te conseille vivement de fermer l'accès à la cabine de Smoker, ça sera mieux pour tout le monde.
— Très bien, ce sera fait, mais pourquoi tant de précaution ?
— Parce que ça fait deux ans qu'ils ne se sont pas vus, c'est très long, fit un homme qui se plaça à la droite de Tashighi.
— En effet, les connaissant comme je les connais, ça risque de durer un moment… confirmai-je en éclatant de rire.
Le jeune homme m'accompagna dans un grand éclat de rire. Il s'agissait de Benjamin, l'amant de mon mari le Roi. La personne qui nous rejoignit était le Comte Quatre, un partisan de mon mari, un Tenryubito que nous apprécions beaucoup.
Tout en discutant, nous sommes allés saluer les autres Tenryubitos. En chemin, je terminais de soigner les blessures de Benjamin. J'ai rassuré le capitaine du navire quant à l'état de santé de Benjamin sans pour autant entrer dans les détails.
Après avoir suivi le départ des bateaux des marines et avoir mangé un bout, je m'apprêtai à partir sur l'île pour la nuit :
— On se retrouve demain au petit déjeuner. Ne vous inquiétez pas pour moi, je vais me nourrir de différentes façons et demain je serai en pleine forme.
— Merci Smoker et Aokiji ! lança Cro sur un ton ironique.
— En effet, je dois bien l'admettre, grâce à eux je ne vais pas m'ennuyer cette nuit ! précisai-je en riant.
Je réquisitionnai une embarcation du Sunny go et me dirigeai seule vers l'île, tous mes sens en éveil.
16. Chapter 14
Bonjour à toutes et tous,
Je reviens en tant qu'auteur car j'ai été une lectrice assidue tout l'été. Bon j'espère que tout le monde a passé de bonnes vacances et que la rentrée c'est tout aussi bien passée. A partir d'aujourd'hui je publierai un chapitre par mois autour du 15 de chaque mois. Pour mon retour un très long chapitre qui j'espère vous plaira. Sur ce, bonne lecture et à bientôt Peacecraft.
**Chapitre 14 : Pleine lune **
À peine débarquée sur l'île, Léna se précipita vers la forêt, là où elle serait sûre de trouver suffisamment de gibier pour contenter sa faim. Après avoir attaqué et dévoré une première proie fort appétissante, elle se remit en chasse car sa faim était loin d'être comblée. Quelques heures plus tard, fatiguée par sa course et sa traque effrénées, elle décida de faire une pause pour faciliter sa digestion et finit par s'endormir au pied d'un arbre. C'est alors que tout se révéla à nos sens.
En premier lieu, une fête battait son plein sur le Sunny Go et le bateau de Shanks, même si certains n'étaient pas forcément d'humeur pour ça : Daz s'inquiétait pour nous Crocodile ressassait le fait que lui et Apo n'avaient pas pu passer plus de temps ensemble, pas le fait de ne pas avoir pu conclure, mais de pas l'avoir eu plus longtemps pour lui seul. _Il faudra rattraper ça plus tard, _avons-nous conclu Shanks était également préoccupé, sans compter toutes les questions qui se bousculaient dans sa tête par rapport à ce qu'il avait découvert cet après-midi Dragon ne savait pas quoi faire vis-à-vis de Robin, sans le vouloir vraiment, il tendait à la repousser un peu et elle, gênée, ne savait pas trop quoi penser de tout ça Luffy était toujours en colère, nous le sentions, mais il avait fait la promesse de ne jamais chercher à nous venger pour une raison ou pour une autre, alors en attendant de pouvoir obtenir des réponses à ses questions, il essayait d'oublier en se changeant les idées quant à Sanji, il ne savait pas trop quoi penser des révélations concernant sa mère et son beau-père – Aokiji – et du fait qu'il n'avait pas encore pu en discuter avec l'un de nous deux – Aokiji ou moi – pour éclaircir certaines choses –, et tout ça c'était sans compter sa relation qui commençait à peine avec Zoro, mais il savait ce dernier suffisamment patient pour l'attendre avant de passer à l'étape suivante de leur relation Zoro, lui, avait bien bu et s'était endormi non loin de Sanji pour pouvoir être à ses côtés, toutes ces révélations l'avaient également troublé : le passé de Sanji, mais aussi le sien, et de revoir Kuina après tout ce temps et de savoir qu'elle s'inquiétait pour lui l'avait vraiment ébranlé émotionnellement. Enfin, Mihawk et Law se faisaient face, ils ne savaient pas trop quoi se dire : ils s'étaient quittés sur une violente dispute et Law était encore furieux, _ils auront certainement besoin d'un petit coup de main prochainement pour aller de l'avant_.
Notre esprit vagabonda ensuite vers les bateaux de la marine, et nous nous sommes attardées un moment dans la chambre de Smoker et Aokiji. Attablés l'un en face de l'autre, ils se regardaient et parlaient depuis des heures de tout ce qu'ils avaient vécu ces deux dernières années, toutefois ils n'osaient se toucher, comme si un mur s'était progressivement élevé entre eux du fait de l'éloignement, contraint et forcé. Nous commencions à culpabiliser, _aurions-nous fait un mauvais choix ?_ _Leur couple serait-il en danger par notre faute _? Puis Smoker se leva et se dirigea vers la salle de bain.
— Il se fait tard, on devrait aller dormir. Je suis crevé et j'ai besoin d'une bonne douche chaude.
Aokiji vit Smoker disparaître derrière la porte de la salle de bain que ce dernier referma après son passage. Smoker respira fort pour se donner du courage, puis se déshabilla et entra dans la douche. Elle était grande – pouvant accueillir au minimum deux personnes –, et dépourvue de bac, seule une vitre coupait la partie douche de la partie lavabo. Il fit couler l'eau sur lui, elle était chaude et ça lui faisait du bien il ferma les yeux. Quelques instants après, il sentit le contact de quelque chose dans le dos : deux bras passèrent de chaque côté des siens et allèrent attraper le savon devant lui. Il sursauta car il prit conscience qu'il n'avait pas entendu la personne s'approcher de lui. Cette personne rigola doucement et il reconnut le rire d'Aokiji. Cela faisait si longtemps, qu'il avait envie de pleurer de joie et de douleur. Même sous l'eau, il avait oublié jusqu'à la présence d'Aokiji dans ses appartements, d'où le sursaut provoqué au contact de son amant. Aokiji se pencha sur lui, l'embrassa dans le cou et lui demanda :
— Puis-je te savonner le dos ? Ça te fera du bien, tu as l'air tendu…
— Heu… oui merci.
— Smoker, veux-tu que je sorte ? Je comprendrais que tu sois en colère contre moi, je reviens après deux ans d'absence et je ne voudrais pas m'imposer…
— Tais-toi, je… Savonne-moi le dos, abruti…
— Ok chef…
Aokiji reposa le savon après en voir bien recouvert ses mains et entreprit de nettoyer le dos de Smoker. Il commença par les épaules et il en profita pour lui faire un massage. Il sentit Smoker se détendre et apprécier les caresses.
Il descendit ensuite le long du dos, prit tout son temps et arriva sur les reins. Il glissa alors ses mains sur les hanches de son amant et vint les croiser sur le ventre de celui-ci. Maintenant il le tenait dans ses bras. Il respira l'odeur des cheveux de son homme et l'embrassa sur la joue. À ce geste, Smoker tourna la tête vers Aokiji qui en profita pour lui voler un baiser sur les lèvres, doux et léger dans un premier temps, puis plus passionné au fur et à mesure qu'il l'embrassait.
Smoker en tremblait de plaisir, il sentit alors ses jambes se dérober sous le coup de l'émotion et au moment où il allait tomber, Aokiji resserra son étreinte et le redressa. Il avait fait glisser ses mains sur le torse de son homme pour pouvoir le maintenir debout dans ses bras.
Pour se donner un meilleur confort à tous les deux, Aokiji fit pivoter Smoker sur le côté et le plaqua contre le mur de la douche. Il plaça ensuite une de ses jambes entre celles de Smoker pour que celui-ci puisse prendre appui sur son corps et vint coller sa bouche sur celle de son amant. Smoker se retrouvait à présent bloqué entre le mur et cet homme qui avait peuplé tant de ses rêves ces derniers temps, et l'espace d'un instant, c'était comme si ces deux années sans lui n'avaient jamais existé. Les caresses étaient les mêmes, le goût de ses lèvres, l'odeur de sa peau, rien n'avait changé, tout était encore aussi vif dans sa mémoire qu'au premier jour, et là, ça redevenait réel.
Aokiji caressa les fesses de son amant, l'attrapa au niveau des cuisses et le fit remonter. Smoker était en position assise contre le mur et avait agrippé la taille d'Aokiji avec ses jambes pour ne pas tomber. Ce dernier en profita pour jouer à le stimuler encore plus puis finit par introduire un doigt – Smoker offrit peu de résistance – et voyant ce corps tout entier offert à lui, il retira son doigt pour le remplacer sans tarder par son sexe.
— Je n'en peux plus, ça fait trop longtemps que je me retiens… lui murmura Aokiji à l'oreille.
Sous le coup de l'excitation, Aokiji s'enfonça plus profondément encore dans son partenaire et dans un mouvement de va-et-vient de plus en plus rapide, il lâcha un laconique :
— Ça va ?
— Oui ! Vas-y, ne t'arrête surtout pas… Hmmm ! Oui ! Plus fort ! Han ! Oui, fais-moi mal… Je veux te sentir, être sûr que je ne rêve pas ! gémit Smoker.
Aokiji attrapa le visage de Smoker, ils se regardèrent droit dans les yeux, et il ajouta :
— Tu ne rêves pas mon amour, je suis bien là…
— Tu vas rester cette fois ? soupira Smoker.
— Oui, je ne te quitte plus… lui promit Aokiji
— Alors vas-y… Hummm ! C'est trop bon… Haaaa !
— Smoker je t'aime… Hummm ! Han !
— Moi aussiiiiiii ! Han ! Hmmm !
— Haaaaaa ! hurlèrent-ils en même temps.
Les deux hommes s'abandonnèrent dans un râle puissant, orgasmique, puis Aokiji relâcha doucement sa prise et laissa Smoker s'asseoir par terre. Il vint s'asseoir près de lui et vit que le sexe de son amant était en érection. Il s'apprêtait à lui faire une fellation quand il lui vint une autre idée. Après un câlin revigorant et riche en caresses auprès de son homme, il se leva et éteignit la douche.
— Attends ! On s'est pas encore lavé, protesta Smoker.
— On n'en a pas besoin pour ce qu'on va faire maintenant, répliqua Aokiji dans un grand sourire.
Il attrapa Smoker dans ses bras et l'emporta dans la chambre. Smoker le tenait fort, il aimait quand Aokiji le portait ainsi. Ce dernier embrassa le cou de son amant, puis s'arrêta quand Smoker toucha le lit. Aokiji regardait son amant allongé sur le lit, il le trouvait particulièrement beau, sa musculature s'était grandement développée ces deux dernières années grâce à son entraînement régulier et intensif. Aokiji ne se trouvait pas mal non plus, il ne s'était pas vraiment relâché durant cette même période, et visiblement Smoker semblait toujours aussi conquis au regard intense qu'il lui portait. Il se pencha sur Smoker, l'embrassa et lui susurra à l'oreille :
— Je suis tout à toi…
À ces mots, Smoker attira Aokiji à lui et le fit s'allonger sur le côté, dos à lui il aimait prendre son ami de cette façon, il le tenait dans les bras et en même temps se retrouvait à demi couché sur lui. Il cala ainsi le dos de son homme sur son torse, le bascula à moitié sur le ventre, lui écarta les jambes et monta une des siennes sur lui. Smoker s'intéressa dans un premier temps à l'intimité de son amant puis il le pénétra en douceur. Aokiji gémit de plaisir tellement il était excité. Ensuite, Smoker passa une main sous le corps de son homme, prit sa verge dans ses doigts, et cala ses mouvements sur ceux de sa propre verge. Il « possédait à nouveau » son homme, il le sentait bien présent à ses côtés, et n'allait pas se priver de le faire jouir, il y prendrait un plaisir incommensurable.
— Oui, vas-y… Continue, ouiiii… Je t'aime… plus fort, vas-y… encore ! lui murmurait essoufflé Aokiji entre deux gémissements.
Les paroles d'Aokiji étaient encourageantes, il allait donc prolonger ce moment le plus longtemps possible. Il embrassait le dos de son homme, lui mordillait la nuque, puis, n'y tenant plus, ils jouirent ensemble. Cela avait été si bon qu'ils ne bougèrent pas pendant quelques minutes. Puis Smoker se retira, s'allongea à nouveau confortablement tout en s'essuyant la main sur les draps, rapprocha Aokiji de lui et le serra fort contre lui.
— Je t'aime Aokiji, ne m'abandonne plus…
— Promis… Je ne veux plus revivre une telle séparation. Je t'aime…
Aokiji tourna la tête, ils s'embrassèrent une dernière fois avant de s'endormir dans les bras l'un de l'autre.
Cette scène mit Léna en appétit. Aussi, quand elle se réveilla, elle partit rapidement à la recherche d'autre nourriture afin d'être bien rassasiée pour quand nous reviendrons sur le bateau de plus, il nous faudrait suffisamment d'énergie pour pouvoir répondre à la pluie de questions qui nous attendrait à notre retour. Aux premiers rayons du soleil, Léna retourna sur la plage et je repris forme humaine. Je remontai à bord du bateau et rejoignis le reste des troupes la journée s'annonçait difficile surtout que nous n'avions pas réussi à trouver suffisamment de nourriture, mais ce n'était pas comme si c'était la première fois… Ce soir, c'était la pleine lune, il ne fallait pas flancher jusque là.
Tout le monde était déjà debout, ils n'avaient dormi que quelques heures et à présent, ils étaient tous réunis autour des mêmes tables qu'hier sur le bateau de Shanks avec l'équipage de Law, arrivé entre temps.
— Bonjour, bonjour ! Bien dormi tout le monde ? fis-je avec un grand sourire.
Un grand murmure résonna en guise de réponse.
— De notre côté, rien à dire, Léna s'est bien rassasiée et bien reposée, bercée par de doux rêves…
— Merci Aokiji et Smoker, remarqua Crocodile dans un demi-sourire.
— Et à toi aussi ! rétorqua Apo en allant l'embrasser. Merci mon amour, après cette nuit, notre cœur s'en est trouvé apaisé. Je suis d'accord pour passer plus de temps avec toi à l'avenir mais pour le moment un bon petit-déjeuner ne serait pas de refus, suivi d'une bonne sieste car nous nous sommes bien dépensées la nuit dernière !
— Je peux faire la sieste avec toi ? demanda Cro, je resterai sage, promis…
— Très bien, mais pour récupérer correctement, je vais laisser Hinata reprendre les rennes. On se retrouve tout à l'heure. Mais même pendant notre sieste, il se peut qu'Hinata reprenne le dessus, avec la fatigue tu sais bien comment ça se passe.
— Pas de problème pour moi… si ça te convient, Hinata ?
— Ça me convient, mais j'espère qu'ils ont un grand lit sur un des bateaux…
Puis je me tournai vers Daz :
— Léna ne sait pas trop comment se faire pardonner pour hier soir, mais elle aimerait également passer plus de temps avec toi…
— Évidemment, j'aurais dû m'y attendre ! Et pourquoi ne pas inviter Shanks aussi tant qu'on y est ?!
— Eh bien puisque tu en parles, sache que je suis le corps d'origine ! Léna s'est manifestée en deuxième et Apo est apparue en troisième position donc, si un choix devait s'imposer, tu arriverais en dernière position. C'est bien clair ? Si tu penses que c'est facile à vivre comme situation, je t'invite à échanger nos places pendant une journée, on verra si tu arrives à mieux gérer que nous ! Tu es seul dans ton corps à aimer une personne, nous sommes trois à aimer trois personnes différentes. Et je pense que j'ai été assez sympa de te donner la priorité avec Apo alors que j'ai pas revu Shanks depuis un long moment. Enfin, je te rappelle au passage que je peux bloquer n'importe laquelle de mes sœurs à n'importe quel moment et pour une durée indéterminée ! Tu as bien saisi ?
— Heu… Oui, je… Excuse-moi, je ne voulais pas dire ça. Tu as raison, j'en ai bien profité, c'est juste que je n'ai pas pour habitude de partager ma compagne, pas de cette façon en tout cas… Et j'avoue que les nuits de pleine lune, je…
— Je sais et t'es pas le seul, fis-je dans un grand sourire.
— Désolé, murmura Daz, la tête basse.
— Oh, mais ce n'est pas ta faute, ajouta Cro en même temps que moi.
— Si, c'est ma faute…
— Arrête de te flageller Daz ! On choisit rarement la personne dont on va tomber amoureux ! Il se trouve que dans ton cas, il s'agit d…
— D'un animal ! fit Daz un peu tendu.
— En effet, oui. Mais ce n'est pas important, la difficulté pour moi est de partager Apo, or Léna n'a pas d'autre choix que de passer par une de ses sœurs pour pouvoir passer du temps avec toi… Et cette situation me gêne, expliqua Cro. Sans compter qu'Hinata – bien qu'âgée de vingt-huit ans – a encore l'apparence d'une gamine de dix ans et elle ne souhaite pas faire subir à Shanks les regards courroucés des siens qui jugeraient mal cette relation et leur pseudo écart d'âge. C'est pour ça qu'elle ne se décide pas à lui avouer ses sentiments. Quant à Apo, je ne t'apprendrai rien, tu as vu comment elle opérait pour venir à bout de ses ennemis ? Depuis, nous nous sommes mis d'accord pour ne coucher avec personne d'autre que nous deux, elle a elle-même reconnu que ce serait me trahir que de coucher avec quelqu'un d'autre, même pour 'rendre service' à ses sœurs. En dernier lieu, je rajouterai que les soirs de pleine lune, quand Léna sort, elle doit certainement avoir des envies qu'elle ne peut assouvir, du moins pas comme elle le souhaiterait, de manière aussi 'autonome' que ses sœurs… En y réfléchissant, le plus fautif dans cette histoire, c'est moi. Alors que j'ai pleinement profité de ma relation avec Apo, je me rends compte de la frustration qu'ont pu ressentir Hinata et Léna jusqu'à présent et je n'ai pas été capable de voir plus loin que le bout de mon nez seulement pour satisfaire mes exigences. Je te demande pardon Hinata, tu as raison, je me suis comporté comme un égoïste. Ce qui me chagrine le plus, c'est de ne pas pouvoir trouver d'issue favorable pour redonner un semblant d'intimité à vous deux…
— Merci… Je t'avais mal jugé Cro, je pensais que seule Apo comptait pour toi, mais je remarque avec grand étonnement que tu te soucies également de notre bien-être à Léna et à moi, et je trouve ça charmant et amusant de ta part…
— Même si ce n'est pas facile tous les jours de vous suivre, vous êtes trois personnalités différentes dans une seule entité physique, et je dois bien m'en accommoder, pour le bien d'Apo. Elle est votre 'bouclier' protecteur, et l'influence que vous exercez les unes sur les autres vous rend vraiment indissociables.
— En effet… Tu nous ferais presque rougir avec tes bêtises !
— Haha ! Je vous aime vraiment toutes les trois, je ne m'ennuie jamais avec vous, ça c'est sûr. On va le trouver ce grand lit pour la sieste, au pire on dormira dans l'herbe du Sunny Go, il fait beau aujourd'hui !
— Ouais ! T'es d'accord Daz ? demandai-je.
— Oui avec plaisir, moi non plus je ne m'ennuie pas avec vous.
— Et toi Shanks, tu viens avec nous ? demanda Cro.
— Ne me mêlez pas à vos histoires, moi je n'ai aucun problème avec qui que ce soit !
Il se leva, monta sur sa chaise pour accéder à la table, et s'avança vers moi. Il s'accroupit devant moi, m'entoura la taille de son seul bras et me leva vers lui. Une fois calée dans son bras, il m'embrassa sur la bouche. Quand il eut fini, il énonça tout haut pour que toute l'assemblée puisse bien l'entendre :
— J'aime cette femme, et le premier qui ose me traiter de pédophile je le tue, c'est bien clair ?
— Pédophile ! lança Cro.
Shanks se tourna vers lui, le regarda d'un air hébété et répondit :
— Espèce de crétin, t'es un homme mort !
Et joignant le geste à la parole, il lança un coup de pied que Cro évita, un sourire aux lèvres.
Tout le monde se délectait du spectacle que donnaient Shanks et Cro. Puis Shanks revint vers moi et m'embrassa à nouveau sur la bouche.
Sur ces entrefaites, Luffy courut vers nous, se jeta sur moi en m'embrassant sur la bouche et me dit :
— Je t'aime aussi grande sœur ! Je peux faire la sieste avec toi s'il te plaît ?
Tout le monde fut un peu surpris par l'arrivée soudaine de Luffy – en même temps, venant de lui, un tel comportement n'étonnait plus personne – toutefois une ombre noire s'abattit sur lui et cria :
— Luffy D. Monkey ! Ce n'est pas le genre de chose que l'on fait ou dit à sa sœur !
— Ah bon !? Mais pourquoi Cro et Shanks le font eux ?
— Parce qu'Hinata n'est pas leur sœur, bougre d'idiot ! Je me demande encore pourquoi je m'épuise à essayer de t'expliquer quelque chose que tu vas oublier d'ici cinq minutes ! On n'embrasse pas sa sœur sur la bouche, un point c'est tout !
Sanji me pris dans ses bras pour descendre de la table et rajouta :
— À présent, si vous n'y voyez pas d'inconvénient, je réquisitionne Hinata pour être bien sûr qu'elle aura mangé suffisamment et récupéré toutes ses forces avant ce soir. Quelqu'un a quelque chose à redire à ça ?
— Bien Chef, aucun problème Chef ! répondit l'assemblée avec un léger sourire.
Même si Sanji n'était pas si méchant au fond, l'équipage préférait ne pas trop le contredire, surtout maintenant qu'on avait repris la navigation. Sans cuistot à bord d'un navire en pleine mer, on serait vite perdu pour la nourriture.
Sanji finit par retourner à sa place, de même que Luffy qui lui cria :
— Sanji ! J'ai faim ! Puis j'ai mal à la tête aussi !
— Tu n'as pas besoin d'hurler pour me dire ça. Si tu as faim, fais comme les autres, mange ! Quant à ton mal de tête, désolé mais je ne suis pas médecin ! Va voir Chopper !
Tout en m'asseyant sur un tabouret, je vis Sanji se tourner et se pencher vers moi :
— Maintenant, tu vas pouvoir manger tranquillement entre tes deux 'papas', n'est-ce pas mon chéri ?
Zoro eut à peine le temps de comprendre qu'on lui parlait que Sanji se penchait déjà sur lui pour l'embrasser sur la bouche, et dans un grand sourire il précisa :
— J'en avais envie depuis hier matin !
— J'aime bien quand tu prends ton temps, répondit Zoro, mais… pas trop non plus !
— D'accord ! et il l'embrassa à nouveau.
Les deux hommes eurent un sourire entendu, puis Sanji reprit son service tout en veillant bien à ce que je ne manque de rien.
Une fois le petit-déjeuner fini – vers les neuf heures –, je partis m'installer sur la pelouse du Sunny Go. J'attrapai une chaise longue qui était disposée là et grâce à mes pouvoirs, je l'agrandis pour qu'elle puisse accueillir deux personnes. Cro arriva et s'assit à mes côtés, aussitôt je cédai ma place à Apo.
Un ordre de passage avait été établi avec les garçons de façon à ce que chacun d'eux puisse passer du temps avec chacune d'entre nous de façon équitable : Cro et Apo en premier, Shanks et moi, puis Daz et Léna en dernier. Cro resta jusqu'à ce que la fatigue me fasse revenir il laissa alors la place à Shanks qui ne put rester qu'une heure en ma compagnie car on le quémanda pour une affaire urgente.
C'est alors que je sentis s'approcher mon demi-frère, mais comme personne ne semblait réagir, il s'installa contre moi et enfouit son visage dans mes cheveux. Il pleurait et s'excusait de ne pas avoir été plus présent pour moi, et avant de s'endormir, il me remercia car il savait maintenant que tout allait bien pour Ace. Une heure plus tard, Dragon vint le réveiller.
— Luffy ! Réveille-toi ! Il est midi. On mange dans une heure. Et laisse Daz et Léna ensemble, murmura Dragon.
— Hein ?! Oh, oui pardon… je ne voulais pas rester si longtemps, mais je me sentais si bien, que je me suis endormi…
— Ce n'est pas grave, dis-je. Luffy ! Sabo est également en vie. Demande à Dragon ce qu'il est devenu, c'est lui qui l'a sauvé avec Emporio Ivankov quand son bateau a été coulé par les Tenryubitos.
— Vraiment ? cria Luffy en se relevant d'un coup.
Il sauta au-dessus de moi et se jeta dans les bras de Dragon qui, surpris, fut déstabilisé et tomba à la renverse. Luffy était toujours dans ses bras et il se remit à crier :
— Vraiment ? Il est en vie ? Tu as sauvé mon frère Sabo ? Raconte-moi tout, comment il va ?
Dragon finit par se relever, gardant toujours Luffy dans ses bras. _C'était quand la dernière fois qu'il avait porté ainsi son propre fils dans ses bras ?_ pensai-je dans un demi-sommeil, _c'était si loin maintenant !_ Je me rendormais tout en les écoutant s'éloigner vers la cuisine de Sanji quand je perçus une présence. Léna prit ma place. Daz se coucha sur le dos et la louve s'installa confortablement contre son torse – antérieures et museau près de sa tête –, le reste du corps le long de celui de Daz, et elle grogna :
— Ces humains, ce qu'ils peuvent être bruyants !
— Je suis bien d'accord, répondit Daz.
— Tu viens avec moi sur l'île demain ? Je devrais pouvoir gérer.
— Oui bien sûr, je te suis où tu veux, quand tu veux, assura-t-il.
— Je sais… On peut amener Luffy ? Je l'apprécie bien.
— Vraiment ? Si tu veux…
— Tu es jaloux ?
— Un peu je l'admets…
— Ne sois pas bête, tu es le seul à être mon égal. Lui, je l'apprécie, mais toi, je t'aime. Cro t'a dit la vérité et je suis d'accord, même si ça fait mal d'admettre que tu devrais rencontrer quelqu'un d'autre…
— Il a aussi raison sur le fait qu'on ne choisit pas de qui on tombe amoureux…
Et il se pencha pour embrasser le museau de Léna.
Alors que nous nous endormions, avec mes sœurs nous avons capté les signaux d'une conversation qui promettait d'être intéressante.
Accoudé sur le rebord du bateau de Shanks, Cro nous regardait nous endormir après notre conversation avec Daz, toujours allongés sur la pelouse du Sunny Go. Des bruits de pas s'approchaient :
— Que regardes-tu avec autant d'intérêt ? lui demanda l'homme.
— Ah ! Shanks, c'est toi ! Heu… Rien de particulier, j'observais Léna et Daz dormir, ils ont l'air si serein…
— En effet… Et donc… ils sont amoureux, c'est bien ça ?
— On peut se demander comment cela a pu arriver : un humain et un animal ? Surprenant, non ? Et pourtant pas tant que ça finalement. Léna partage son corps avec Apo et Hinata, qui prennent aussi le temps de discuter avec Daz, ce qui lui rappelle la part d'humanité de Léna. Mais au-delà d'un simple corps, d'un simple physique, Daz est surtout tombé amoureux d'une âme, à la fois pure et tourmentée, mais dont on ne se lasse pas d'explorer les recoins. Daz est à la fois chanceux et malchanceux d'avoir rencontré Léna, et nous nous trouvons embarqués dans la même galère… Je devrais être aux anges, j'ai enfin trouvé la nana qui me correspond, avec un sacré caractère et corps de rêve, mais je ne peux m'empêcher de penser qu'elle ne pourra jamais être uniquement pour moi. Je suis égoïste je l'admets. Et toi, que vas-tu faire avec Hinata ?
— J'en sais rien… Mais je comprends tout à fait la situation. Je ne suis pas forcément mieux loti que Daz, étant donné que la femme que j'aime à l'apparence d'une fillette de dix ans. Dès que nous nous promenons main dans la main ou que je la serre tendrement dans mes bras, des regards courroucés se tournent vers nous. Hinata fait fi de ça, mais je sens bien qu'au fond d'elle ça la dérange… Il y aurait bien une solution, mais elle trop coûteuse en énergie pour le temps qu'elle dure ! Il existe un fruit qui peut influer sur le temps – ou plus précisément sur l'âge – mais il faudrait qu'elle se nourrisse en continu, comme le fait Luffy, pour à peine une heure de temps.
Un des supernovas – comme Law et Luffy – a mangé ce fruit. C'est le capitaine Jewelry Bonney et elle passe son temps à manger des quantités astronomiques de nourriture. On sait que grâce aux « fruits divins », Hinata le possède aussi, mais elle ne s'en sert que très rarement car il la fatigue énormément.
— Je ne l'ai pas vu manger, intervint Zoro, mais j'ai vu son pouvoir et au début j'ai cru que Hinata avait le même, mais après ses explications j'ai compris qu'il s'agissait d'autre chose. C'est impressionnant à voir : à un moment j'avais une enfant devant les yeux et l'instant d'après, une adulte de 30 ans. Elle m'a empêché de tuer un Tenryubito à Shaboady il y a deux ans.
— Oui c'est vrai, ajouta Law qui écoutait en silence jusqu'à présent. Moi aussi j'en ai entendu parler, mais je n'ai pas eu le loisir de la rencontrer personnellement. On dit que c'est une belle femme !
Pour en revenir à Hinata, si j'ai bien suivi l'histoire, il semble que la situation soit différente. Les soirs de pleine lune, Léna se nourrit abondamment pour s'abstenir de faire du mal ou de tuer des humains ou des monstres quand elle peut l'éviter. Mais il lui faut une quantité pantagruélique de nourriture pour réussir à la calmer jusqu'au mois suivant, sans compter l'énergie dépensée par Hinata et Apo en parallèle. Si cette nourriture devait servir à autre chose qu'à rassasier l'appétit féroce de Léna, qu'arriverait-il pour Léna, serait-elle en peine de s'épargner des attaques contre des humains ?
Il semble évident que depuis leur naissance, Hinata et Léna doivent leur survie à un combat acharné et quotidien pour préserver leur part d'humanité. La consommation de trois fruits du démon avec l'arrivée de Apo comme bouclier naturel n'a fait qu'empirer les choses. Elles sont à présent trois dans un seul corps, à partager aussi leur énergie vitale. A-t-on vraiment conscience de ce qu'elles vivent au quotidien pour être ce qu'elles sont, pour vivre ce qu'elles vivent, avec trois amants différents ?
Il y eut un court silence, comme si tout le monde essayait de méditer sur les dernières paroles du scientifique. Puis Zoro prit la parole :
— J'aurais tellement voulu l'aider.
— Pour quelle raison ? demanda Shanks.
— Elle m'a offert la paix et elle m'a permis de trouver le bonheur dans les bras de Sanji…
— Pareil pour moi, affirma Sanji qui glissa ses bras autour de la taille de Zoro.
Il appuya son menton sur une épaule de son amant et ajouta :
— Elle m'a donné tellement que je ne pourrai jamais la rembourser je suis triste de ne pas pouvoir les aider un peu elle et Léna.
— Cet après-midi, je lui parlerai. Peut-être qu'avec mes avancées médicales, on pourrait trouver quelque chose… fit Law d'un ton incertain.
— Bonne idée ! répondis-je.
Tout le monde sursauta et se retourna vers moi.
— Quoi ?! Vous avez oublié que je peux prendre l'apparence d'un fantôme ?
— Pérona ! fit Zoro.
— Tu ne pourrais pas être plus sympa avec ton infirmière ? Parce que la dernière fois, merci l'accueil ! Je ne sais vraiment pas comment elle a pu te supporter pendant deux ans.
— Mais tu sais bien qu'il y a des femmes qui aiment qu'on leur parle mal…
À ces mots, tout le monde sursauta à nouveau et se tourna vers le bord du bateau. Là, debout devant eux, se trouvait Apo. Elle se mit à rire et lâcha un 'Bouuhhh !' qui résonna dans tout le bateau, suivi d'un grand éclat de rire telle une traînée de comète.
Tout l'équipage pivota une dernière fois vers nous.
— L'avantage d'avoir des âmes bien distinctes, c'est que nous pouvons être libres l'une de l'autre sous l'apparence de fantômes. L'inconvénient de cette forme spectrale, c'est que nous ne pouvons toucher personne ni saisir des objets, donc ça ne règlera pas la question pour aujourd'hui.
Hinata rit devant l'attitude d'Apo, puis pivota vers les médecins :
— Chopper, Law, je voulais vous parler cet après-midi pour échanger sur des techniques médicales ainsi que sur certaines maladies que j'ai rencontrées, expliquai-je.
— Avec plaisir, répondirent les médecins en chœur.
En suivant, elle chercha à accrocher le regard de son très cher cuisinier :
— Sanji, le repas est prêt ?
Enfin à la cantonade, elle lâcha :
— Et pour conclure la discussion sur comment nous aider, sachez que vous deux, dis-je en désignant Zoro et Sanji, vous nous devez rien, nous sommes quittes avec ce que je vous devais…
— Nous pouvons passer à table, acquiesça Sanji d'une voix forte et assurée.
C'est alors qu'Apo entra dans la conversation :
— Mais si vous insistez pour nous aider, vous pouvez toujours faire quelque chose pour nous…
Alors Hinata attrapa l'âme d'Apo et la tourna vers elle pour lui faire face :
— Apo, tais-toi ! On retourne immédiatement dans notre corps, la repris-je.
— Ne t'énerve pas, je rigole, renchérit Apo.
— Évidemment ! Tu ne trouves pas qu'on abuse déjà beaucoup avec Benjamin et Quatre ? Inutile de déranger qui que ce soit d'autre, compris ? rétorquai-je furibonde.
— Compris ! Désolée… Tu t'inquiètes pour Benjamin, c'est ça ? demanda Apo.
— Non, je lui fais confiance pour survivre de plus Quatre s'occupera de lui.
— Aahh, parce que… ? enchaîna Apo, agitant et frottant son index et son majeur l'un contre l'autre d'un air surpris mais entendu.
— Oui, confirma Hinata d'un mouvement de tête. Mais comme Benjamin est l'amant du roi, Quatre ne fera rien, répondis-je.
— Et tu crois… ? continua-t-elle.
— Oui, Benjamin le sait. Mais il aime Gregory. Alors même si Quatre ne le laisse pas indifférent, pour l'instant ils sont juste amis et ça leur suffit, expliquai-je.
— J'espère qu'on va les retrouver bientôt, dit-elle.
— Moi aussi ! Quand on rentre, on dort avec eux, commentai-je.
— Même avec Benjamin ? questionna-t-elle.
— Oui. J'ai négocié ça avant leur départ. À l'hôtel c'est nous qui avons le monopole de leurs déplacements.
— Cool, dit Apo en repartant dans notre corps.
Je souris à tout le monde avant de rejoindre notre corps. Léna leva la tête ce qui réveilla Daz. La louve l'embrassa en collant son museau sur sa bouche, puis me rendit mon corps. Nous avons fini par nous lever et nous installer à table avec les autres. Le repas se passa dans la convivialité, tous me pressaient de questions auxquelles j'essayais de répondre le plus précisément possible.
Après le repas, je passai l'après-midi avec les deux médecins à échanger sur différents remèdes que j'avais trouvés. Alors que Law nous expliquait comment fonctionnaient tous ses équipements, Chopper lui était aux anges et ne savait plus où donner de la tête. Je profitai de ce moment pour parler avec Law :
— Law, je souhaitais te remercier pour ta sollicitude surtout quand tu n'as rien à y gagner. Si je peux t'être redevable en quoi que ce soit, je le ferais avec plaisir.
— Ça ira, merci bien, fit-il avec un sourire laconique.
— Vraiment ? Pas même avec Mihawk ?
— …
— Tu sais qu'il y a des choses qu'on ne peut pas me cacher. Et une chose est sûre, même s'il a été le roi des cons, il tient à toi tout comme tu tiens à lui, même si tu es encore furieux contre lui.
Ne laissez pas les autres penser et orchestrer votre vie à votre place. Nous en savons quelque chose avec Shanks : notre différence d'âge – en apparence – est toujours mal considérée par des gens bien pensant qui trouvent toujours à redire.
Donc, si tu tiens à lui, bats-toi, ne fais pas comme Shanks et moi ne perdez pas un temps précieux que vous pourriez passer ensemble. Vous faites un beau couple, profitez-en.
Law me sourit en signe d'assentiment. Puis il se dirigea vers Chopper pour poursuivre ses explications sur le fonctionnement de différentes machines. Au bout d'une heure, nous sommes retournés auprès des autres. Je passai devant Mihawk, souriante, et par télépathie je lui dis :
— Tout va bien, laisse-lui du temps, il va revenir vers toi, alors décide-toi.
Il me sourit en répondant :
— Je l'aime, j'ai décidé de faire le grand saut, peu importe la différence d'âge, vous avez raison tous les deux avec Law.
Quand le soir tomba, je mangeai un peu avant de me diriger vers l'île près de laquelle nous avions jeté l'ancre. Arrivée à terre, je ressentis la présence de plusieurs monstres marins qui se promenaient. _Cela va être un vrai régal_, pensai-je. Je laissai alors Léna prendre le contrôle des opérations. Au début, la louve resta à taille normale pour passer inaperçue. Au moment d'attaquer sérieusement ses proies, elle décida de décupler son corps afin d'avoir plus facilement l'avantage. Toutes les créatures marines sans exception tombèrent sous ses griffes et ses crocs.
Elle avait pris une décision : _Cette nuit, je dévore tout. Je fais le plein d'énergie. Comme ça, Hinata pourra devenir une adolescente ou une jeune adulte pour pouvoir passer plus de temps avec Shanks. Peut-être qu'alors moi aussi – grâce à « __Mane mane no mi,__Fruit du travesti » –__ je pourrai me créer un nouveau corps pour être avec Daz. __Effectivement ce fruit permet de changer d'apparence, en touchant la personne de la main droite.__Je demanderai à Daz de me montrer une femme qui lui plaît, puis j'irai la toucher pour me créer ma propre enveloppe corporelle. Qui ne tente rien n'a rien dit-on, alors ce soir c'est buffet à volonté_.
Toute heureuse, elle repartit en chasse. Au bout d'un moment, il devait être 23 heures, on ressentit un appel à l'aide. Léna s'immobilisa et étendit notre pouvoir pour arriver jusqu'à la source de l'appel : c'était Benjamin, il était dans la chambre d'un hôtel grand luxe avec les Tenryubitos. Ils étaient déjà arrivés au lieu de rendez-vous du sommet. Dans notre projection vers cette chambre, nous vîmes Benjamin attaché à une corde qui descendait du plafond. Elle avait dû être posée dans la journée. Le jeune homme se tenait debout, ligotés par les bras tendus vers le haut et par les chevilles, complètement étiré dans le sens de la hauteur, le bout de ses orteils touchant à peine le sol. À chaque mouvement, les cordes lui entaillaient le corps, complètement nu. Un homme tenait un fouet qu'il leva et abattit sur le dos de Benjamin qui se balança d'avant en arrière afin de se stabiliser en bougeant ses orteils. Son corps fut assailli d'une violente douleur qui partit de la corde enserrant ses chevilles en passant par le coup de fouet dans le dos pour finir dans la corde qui liait ses poignets. Il saignait, le sang coulait le long de son dos. Les hommes qui l'entouraient rirent à gorge déployée, mais restaient frustrés par le mutisme – malgré la douleur qui parcourrait son corps – du jeune homme face à eux. Un nouveau coup de fouet claqua sur son dos, et là encore, il n'émit aucun son. À ce moment-là, un homme lui fit face et dit :
— De mieux en mieux. Tu veux jouer les fortes têtes. Montrer que tu peux être fort, ne pas crier de douleur. Et si on mêlait le désir à la douleur, crois-tu vraiment que tu pourrais résister et te retenir de hurler ? De toute façon, tant que tu n'auras pas crié, tu ne bougeras pas de là où tu es ! J'ai hâte de savoir lequel de la douleur ou du plaisir te fera pousser la voix en premier.
Tous les hommes hochèrent la tête en signe de satisfaction et se remirent à rire. À nouveau, le fouet claqua, et l'homme qui avait pris la parole s'agenouilla devant Benjamin pour saisir sa verge. Bien qu'il prenait un malin plaisir à la caresser, le jeune homme ne réagissait toujours pas. L'homme en question entama alors une fellation, mais Benjamin fit tout pour essayer de ne rien ressentir. Et pour le moment il semblait bien gérer.
À ce moment-là, les deux hommes qui jouaient avec son corps entamèrent une sorte de combat, au corps-à-corps, sur la personne même de Benjamin. Il avait tellement mal. Entre les coups de fouet et la frustration de retenir une éjaculation, ne voulant donner de satisfaction à personne.
Afin qu'il puisse mieux supporter son calvaire, nous nous employions avec mes sœurs à lui prendre de la douleur et à tenter d'abaisser sa libido grâce à notre fruit du sexe. Toutefois, après une bonne demi-heure à s'ingénier à soutenir Benjamin dans sa peine, nous comprîmes que ces hommes ne lâcheraient pas l'affaire tant qu'il n'aurait pas cédé à leurs caprices. De plus, pour faire durer le supplice, ils avaient mis en place un système de relais par équipe de deux jusqu'à ce que Benjamin émette le moindre son. Après tout, pour ces hommes, seul le résultat comptait, peu importait la manière par laquelle il l'obtiendrait. Nous nous évertuâmes à le soulager pendant encore une demi-heure, mais nous le sentions vaciller et avions peur de le perdre même si nous restions en soutien toute la nuit.
Dans la chambre voisine, nous sentions la présence de Quatre. Né avec le Haki de l'observation, ce jeune homme blond pouvait ainsi percevoir les émotions de ceux qui l'entourent, et notamment des personnes qu'il aime… comme pour Benjamin. Et en ce moment-même, il était à deux doigts d'en perdre la raison, mais il avait promis de ne pas bouger et d'attendre la fin du martyre de son amour. Il n'en finissait plus d'attendre de l'entendre enfin crier et de pouvoir le soigner une fois qu'il serait libéré par ses bourreaux. Pour que tout cela finisse une bonne fois pour toute, nous prîmes les devants et contactâmes Benjamin par télépathie :
— Benjamin, c'est Hinata, Léna et Apo. Cela fait une bonne heure que nous faisons l'impossible pour alléger tes souffrances, mais à présent, tu dois tout relâcher sinon ils auront raison de toi. Et il n'est pas encore temps que tu nous quittes. Nous restons près de toi par la pensée et nous arrivons bientôt, tiens bon.
— Je peux encore tenir. Je ne veux pas leur faire ce plaisir. J'en peux plus de cette situation, pardon mais il était temps que je me rebelle. Je suis un homme libre, n'est-ce pas ? Alors pourquoi continuent-ils à nous traiter comme des moins que rien ? Il ne devrait plus y avoir d'esclavage.
— Oui notre bien aimé, nous sommes d'accord avec toi. C'est pour ça que tu dois crier et vivre. Parfois il faut savoir perdre une bataille pour gagner la guerre. Ce n'est pas chose aisée et tu t'es bien battu jusque là. Mais si tu meurs, tu auras fait tout ça en vain. Rappelle-toi pourquoi tu fais ça, pourquoi tu es là ? Nous arrivons pour te récupérer, notre amour, tiens bon et crie.
— Pour… ma… famille… Haaaaaaaaaaaaa !
Tous les hommes firent deux pas en arrière tellement ils furent surpris du cri qui sorti de la bouche de l'homme attaché au milieu d'eux.
— Je pense qu'on a tous gagné. Ce cri était si empli d'émotion. Entre colère et rage on ne saurait dire lequel de la douleur ou du plaisir a pris le dessus. Sauf peut-être le fait qu'il a éjaculé.
Tous les hommes approuvèrent. Ils rigolèrent tout en détachant Benjamin, le jetant nu à la porte avec ses vêtements en chiffon sur lui et refermèrent la porte en la claquant. Aussitôt averti par nos soins, Quatre se précipita dans le couloir pour le récupérer et le faire entrer dans sa chambre. Le dos du jeune homme était en sang, ses blessures descendaient jusque sous ses fesses, tout n'était que chair meurtrie. Quatre l'amena sous la douche et fit couler de l'eau tiède dessus il nettoya le sang des coupures en y passant du savon pour les désinfecter, puis entreprit de le laver en entier pour qu'il se sente plus propre. Il savait qu'une bonne douche faisait toujours du bien après une telle épreuve, lui aussi était passé par là à une époque de sa vie. Puis il le sécha doucement, lentement, pour ne pas le blesser davantage. Il aurait voulu le prendre dans ses bras, le rassurer et lui promettre que c'était fini, mais il ne pouvait pas, il ne pouvait rien faire à part être là pour lui. Il l'amena ensuite sur le lit, le fit s'allonger sur le ventre et termina de désinfecter son dos avec un alcool doux et une pommade cicatrisante. Celle que nous lui avions donnée l'avant veille au soir. Nous l'avions empruntée à Chopper qui prônait ses mérites en terme de cicatrisation des coupures. Benjamin avait déjà l'air plus détendu, la pommade semblait lui faire du bien. Plus Quatre le regardait, et plus il avait envie de le toucher, autrement que pour le soigner. Le brun était si beau et si faible à la fois, mais tellement attirant. Cependant, il ne voulait surtout pas lui faire de mal, certaines de ses blessures saignant encore. Puis Benjamin frissonna.
— Tu as froid ou c'est la douleur ? demanda Quatre.
— Un peu des deux…
— Je comprends, mais si je te mets un drap dessus tu auras encore plus mal. Désolé, fit Quatre, peiné.
— Ce n'est pas grave, tu as raison, répondit Benjamin.
— Pardon… pardon pour tout, dit Quatre en embrassant Benjamin sur la joue.
Il alla essuyer le sang qui coulait. Mais il ne put s'empêcher d'embrasser ses blessures, de lécher le sang. Benjamin frémit, Quatre releva la tête et dit :
— Pardon… J'aimerais avoir le pouvoir de guérison d'Hinata…
Il reprit son entreprise au-dessus des cuisses de Benjamin, puis il remonta vers ses fesses et son dos. Le blond embrassait et léchait tout le sang qui coulait des blessures. Répétant à chacun de ses mouvements le mot « _pardon_ », comme une litanie. D'abord, pour se faire pardonner de le toucher sans permission après ce qu'on lui avait fait, mais aussi pour faire partir la douleur de l'homme allongé sous lui.
— Quatre, dit Benjamin en pleurant.
— Oui, pardon, tu veux que j'arrête ?
— Oui, je veux que tu arrêtes de demander pardon. Tu n'es pas responsable de ce qui s'est passé. En revanche, j'aime bien ce que tu as entrepris sur mes plaies… Continue, veux-tu… ? ajouta-t-il dans un sourire las.
Quatre sourit à son tour, tristement, puis embrassa Benjamin sur la joue avant de se remettre à l'ouvrage : soigner les plaies de Benjamin, encore, toujours, sur son dos et ailleurs, du bout des lèvres et de la langue, comme le lui avait demandé Benjamin. Quand Quatre tomba de fatigue à son tour, il s'allongea près de lui. Ce dernier se releva alors pour se caler dans les bras de Quatre et pleura un bon moment jusqu'à épuisement. Quatre s'endormit peu après, sa main dans les cheveux de Benjamin.
De retour à ce que nous faisions, la donne venait de changer. La nouvelle priorité était les garçons, et pour cela il faudrait que nous nous nourrissions deux fois plus dès ce soir, car une fois arrivées sur l'île, Léna serait dans l'incapacité d'aller chasser à sa convenance. Il serait trop risqué de tenter le Diable… Je finis par penser qu'Apo avait raison, nous aurions peut-être besoin d'un ou plusieurs coups de main ou… de rein si j'ose dire ! En effet, l'énergie dégagée par un couple au moment de ses ébats vaut toute la nourriture du monde pour nous. Mais en attendant, il faut rassasier Léna.
Au retour d'une fin de chasse assez fructueuse, Léna me laissa les rênes et je posai le pied sur le Sunny Go peu avant le lever du soleil. Je profitai du calme régnant sur les bateaux pour créer des courants d'air et les faire avancer le plus vite possible, je voulais arriver le soir même auprès des enfants. En m'installant à la table du petit déjeuner, tout le monde était surpris par ce vent soudain et bienfaiteur, ainsi que par l'allure à laquelle nous avancions. Je décidai de m'expliquer :
— Bonjour à toutes et à tous. Je vous demande le silence s'il vous plaît, j'ai une communication importante à vous faire.
J'avais prévu de prendre mon temps pour rejoindre l'île où se tiendra le sommet que j'ai convoqué avec le Roi. Toutefois, à la lumière de récents événements, nous tenons à l'atteindre le plus tôt possible, voire ce soir.
Pour rappel, ce sommet a pour but de réunir les participants de la nouvelle ère : Shichibukais – anciens et actuels – Révolutionnaires, tel Dragon Rois et Empereurs Tenryubitos Marines les onze Supernovas, comme Luffy et Law ici présents et peut-être même Barbe-Noire ! C'est pourquoi je vous rappelle à toutes et à tous d'être très prudentes et prudents lorsque nous débarquerons sur l'île et surtout que chacune et chacun d'entre vous acceptera donc la mise en place d'un pacte de non agression mutuelle, même si je sais que pour certaines et certains ce ne sera pas facile de ne pas le violer !
Si nous avons convoqué ce sommet avec mon époux le Roi, c'est parce qu'il est temps pour nous de voir évoluer les choses et dans le bon sens, surtout depuis que cette guerre a éclaté il y a deux ans ! Aujourd'hui encore, trop de villages entiers portent les stigmates de ces affrontements, et il nous est intolérable de garder les yeux fermés et de rester inactifs face à ça.
Conscients que la perte de Barbe Blanche et la montée en puissance de Barbe-Noire ont déstabilisé les pouvoirs en présence dans ce monde, nous espérons – à la suite de ce sommet – pouvoir mettre en place un nouveau gouvernement où tout le monde serait représenté, de manière équitable et pour le bien-être de tous.
Enfin, concernant les Tenryubitos, ne tentez surtout rien en leur présence, faites-moi appeler, je suis encore la seule à avoir un ascendant sur eux d'ailleurs, il se peut même qu'ils quittent le sommet avant la fin et me laisse procuration pour signer les accords.
Je repris mon souffle, me tournai vers Luffy en le regardant droit dans les yeux et ajoutai :
— Luffy, toi plus que jamais et plus que nul autre à la ronde, tu te dois d'être présent à nos côtés. À présent que tu as vaincu Big Mom, tu as toute légitimité pour revendiquer d'une part ton autorité sur ses îles avant que d'autres ne le fassent et ne réduisent les populations qui y résident à l'esclavage – ce que tu ne voudrais pas pour tout l'or du monde, n'est-ce-pas ?
Luffy acquiesça d'un hochement de tête, attentif à ce que je lui racontais, et j'enchaînai :
— Et d'autre part, ce sommet serait l'occasion pour toi de t'imposer en tant que nouveau Roi des Pirates, ce qui finirait d'asseoir la reconnaissance de ton nouveau statut auprès de toutes les autorités présentes. Être Roi ou Empereur implique des responsabilités, non seulement envers tes nakamas, mais aussi envers les peuples qui habitent dans les îles que tu auras la charge de protéger et de défendre. Rejoins-nous un peu plus tard avec Shanks, juste avant le début du sommet, pour que nous te fassions un résumé de la situation et un récapitulatif des îles qui passent sous ton autorité si tu ne pouvais être présent, tu pourras délégué un membre de ton équipage pour te représenter.
— Mais pourquoi tant de hâte ? me demanda alors Dragon perplexe.
— Pour… heu… je dois juste arriver au plus tôt, répondis-je évasive.
— Mais comment vas-tu faire cette nuit si on est là-bas ? Léna ne pourra pas sortir pour manger, si ? questionna Daz.
— En effet, mais nous avons déjà réfléchi à la question : notre priorité est d'aller les rejoindre au plus vite, donc Léna a chassé plus que de raison hier pour palier le manque de ce soir.
Léna prit la parole par le biais de mon corps :
— Daz désolé pour ce soir, je sais qu'on devait passer la nuit ensemble sur l'île. Mais avec la nuit que nous venons de vivre… Nous prévoyions de nous nourrir suffisamment pour essayer quelques pouvoirs et tenter d'améliorer la situation pour nous et pour le couple d'Hinata, mais il y a eu un imprévu et… nous devons être là-bas au plutôt.
— Les rejoindre ? Les deux jeunes de l'autre nuit ? Ceux pour qui Hinata et Apo s'inquiétaient hier ? questionna Mihawk.
— Heu ! Oui, ils vont tuer Benjamin si on n'arrive pas vite. La nuit dernière, ils ont été beaucoup trop loin, ce n'était pas stipulé dans les accords, répondis-je.
— Les accords ? poursuivit Mihawk. Tu as dit que vous leur demandiez déjà beaucoup, de quoi s'agit-il exactement ?
— On… heu… C'est compliqué.
Avant tout, je dois vous expliquer qui ils sont et comment nous en sommes arrivés là.
Commençons par Quatre, le jeune homme blond de dix-neuf ans né dans une famille de comtes. Lors d'un voyage avec sa famille, il a été enlevé par un groupe d'esclavagistes pour devenir l'objet sexuel du capitaine il n'avait alors que treize ans. Malheureusement, le capitaine autorisait également son équipage à se servir de Quatre comme d'un _punching ball_.
Avec Aokiji, nous l'avons cherché partout, mais leurs déplacements incessants et leur formidable capacité à se cacher ne nous facilitaient pas la tâche. Finalement, au bout de trois ans, nous avons réussi à le retrouver il avait donc seize ans à ce moment-là. En dernier ressort, c'est Grégory, mon époux – qui n'était pas encore le Roi à cette époque car l'événement date d'il y a deux ans –, qui l'a recueilli. En rencontrant Quatre, tout une somme de souvenirs lui revint, lui rappelant ce qu'il avait vécu avant que le Roi ne s'éprenne de lui, ne l'affranchisse et ne l'anoblisse. Grégory tenait ainsi à commémorer l'acte de son défunt amant en prenant en charge Quatre et son retour à une vie d'homme libre. Au même moment, nous nous sommes rendus compte avec mon époux que Quatre possédait le Haki de l'observation, cette capacité si rare qui rend son détenteur empathique, lui permettant ainsi d'entendre la voix de chaque chose – comme pouvait le faire Gold D. Roger par exemple. C'est comme ça qu'il a pu prendre connaissance et comprendre les ponéglyphes sans savoir les lire. Cette aptitude à l'empathie permet donc d'éprouver également les émotions, et vous en avez d'ailleurs ressenti les effets lorsque je vous ai montré ma vie. Quand on ne contrôle pas ce pouvoir, on peut facilement être submergé par ces émotions qui jaillissent j'ai donc œuvré pour que Quatre réussisse à gérer ce don.
Quant à Benjamin, son histoire n'est pas si différente de celle de Grégory ou de Quatre, à ceci près que ce dernier n'est pas issu d'une famille d'esclaves sur plusieurs générations. Néanmoins, mon époux pensait que de les faire se rencontrer aurait un impact positif sur chacun d'eux – ayant sensiblement le même âge et ayant vécu les mêmes souffrances, cela pouvait rapprocher deux êtres. Ce à quoi Grégory ne s'attendait pas, c'était que ce rapprochement soit si fort entre eux, mais qu'il s'opère également entre lui et Benjamin – ils sont peu à peu tombés amoureux au détriment des liens qui se nouaient entre les deux jeunes hommes, par conséquent Quatre a préféré rester en retrait par égard au Roi.
Éprouvé par le chagrin suite à la mort de son prédécesseur, mon époux ressentait une certaine lassitude, un vague à l'âme qui ne cessaient de le miner. L'arrivée de Benjamin dans nos vies a été la lumière dont nous avions tous besoin. Effronté, hargneux, il était le bras vengeur qui nous manquait pour concrétiser ce projet qui nous tient tant à cœur avec mon époux : libérer les esclaves des Tenryubitos mais à quel prix…
En effet, la tâche est loin d'être aisée. Malheureusement nous n'avons pas le pouvoir de changer toutes les lois comme on l'entend. Nous devons passer par un conseil de Nobles qui possède lui aussi ses propres esclaves, or pour ces derniers il reste difficile à ce jour d'envisager une libération comme celle que nous avons mise en place progressivement depuis quelque temps déjà. En effet, afin de réussir dans notre entreprise, nous avons dû trouver des subterfuges tels que les paris.
L'organisation de ces paris est simple, au lieu de miser de l'argent, nous misons des esclaves. Et pour une parfaite réussite de l'opération, j'utilise mes pouvoirs pour faire nous faire gagner. Certes, ce n'est pas honnête, mais c'est pour la bonne cause. Une fois que le pari est remporté, nous récupérons les esclaves et nous les affranchissons en leur proposant plusieurs possibilités de retour à une vie de libertés : ils peuvent décider de rester au château et d'y travailler contre une rémunération ou alors ils peuvent aller dans un orphelinat – quel que soit leur âge – pour bénéficier d'un programme d'aide à la reconstruction psychologique, à l'insertion dans le monde du travail, à l'apprentissage de la lecture, de l'écriture, afin qu'ils découvrent ou redécouvrent ce qu'est une vie sans contrainte, sans privation et sans torture ou châtiment s'ils devaient faire une erreur. J'ai même appris dernièrement que les Révolutionnaires avaient décidé d'aider ces orphelinats… je suis ravie de cette prise de conscience de leur part.
Tout ça pour vous dire que Benjamin a bénéficié de ces paris truqués pour être libéré par nos soins, mais ce dernier a refusé de croire Grégory quand il lui a annoncé qu'il était libre. Voyez plutôt :
— _Vous êtes libres, dit le Roi. _
— _Comment ça ? Si c'est un jeu, ce n'est pas drôle. Dites-nous ce que vous attendez de nous ? dit un jeune homme de quinze ans. _
— _Ce que je vous dis est la vérité, et vous pourrez même choisir votre avenir : soit rester ici et travailler tout en étant rémunérés soit partir étudier et reprendre votre vie en main. Nous n'exigerons rien en retour, ce n'est pas notre but, poursuivit le Roi. _
— _Je ne vous crois pas ! Vous êtes le Roi, vous ne pouvez pas faire ça, beugla l'adolescent. _
— _Justement, je suis le Roi ! Je peux donc tout faire dans ma maison. Si vous décidez de rester, on vous apprendra à lire et à écrire vous aurez de quoi acheter des habits neufs et votre propre chambre dans l'aile des serviteurs._
— _Menteur ! brailla le jeune homme. _
— _Je comprends votre réaction. Puis-je savoir comment vous vous appelez et quel âge vous avez ? _
— _Benjamin, j'ai 15 ans. Je suis né esclave, de parents esclaves, et de grands-parents esclaves, alors ne me parlez pas de liberté aussi facilement. Vous n'avez pas idée de ce que représente la liberté pour nous._
— _Oh que si, Benjamin, et tu n'as pas idée de ce que j'ai vécu. Moi aussi j'ai été esclave tout comme mes parents. Mon prédécesseur m'a offert la liberté et la vie que j'ai aujourd'hui. Il a même fait de moi son héritier. Tu imagines bien que de posséder un esclave dans cette maison – qui fut la sienne auparavant – ne ferait que trahir sa confiance et le cadeau qu'il m'a fait un cadeau que je souhaite à présent offrir à tout ce royaume qu'il m'a légué. Cela va être long, j'en suis conscient, mais j'y arriverai. Alors s'il te plaît, fais-moi confiance. _
_À ces paroles, Benjamin ne savait plus comment réagir face à cette force de la nature qu'était le Roi, il décida de se taire et de rester en retrait jusqu'à la fin de la cérémonie d'affranchissement des esclaves dont il faisait partie. Pour ceux qui souhaitaient rester au château – comme lui – une somme d'argent a été remise afin qu'ils s'achètent des vêtements neufs, puis ils furent conduits dans leurs nouveaux appartements. Pour ceux qui souhaitaient plutôt voyager en hommes libres, on les orienta vers les orphelinats pour faciliter leurs démarches. _
_Le soir, alors que nous pénétrions dans les appartements du Roi, nous sommes tombés nez-à-nez avec Benjamin, face à nous debout devant le lit – où étaient posées ses affaires –, et d'un regard franc il prit la parole :_
— _Je vous plais ? commença-t-il avec son air toujours aussi effronté._
— _Pourquoi devrais-tu me plaire ? demanda le Roi. _
— _Je suis à votre service. J'aimerais savoir si mes habits sont à votre goût pour vivre dans votre maison, rétorqua Benjamin._
— _Eh bien si ça te plaît, cela me va. Je n'ai pas mon mot à dire en ce qui concerne tes goûts. De plus, je pensais que tu partirais. Pourquoi es-tu resté ?_
— _Malgré le discours de tout à l'heure, je ne vous fais toujours pas confiance._
_Il s'avança vers le roi de quelques pas, puis reprit :_
— _Mais si vous devez faire un miracle en libérant tous les esclaves, je veux être là pour le voir. Aussi ai-je décidé de rester à vos côtés, et de travailler pour vous._
— _Je comprends et ça me va._
_Benjamin hocha la tête pour montrer que ça lui convenait également avant d'interpeller à nouveau le Roi :_
— _J'aurais une autre faveur à vous demander._
— _Je t'écoute._
— _Regardez ! _
_Benjamin ouvrit sa chemise et montra la marque des esclaves sexuels sur son cœur._
— _Vous savez ce que ça représente ? Faites de moi votre amant, vous savez que je peux tout endurer… _
_Puis dans un profond soupir de lassitude, il ajouta :_
— _De toute façon, c'est la seule chose que je sache faire, et je le fais bien ! Je ne vous demande qu'une chose en échange, c'est de tenir votre promesse…_
— _Idiot ! le coupa le Roi tout en le giflant. Comment oses-tu ? Est-ce là une façon de remercier celui qui t'a libéré ?_
_Benjamin ne bougea pas, les lèvres serrées tandis que Grégory fit quelques pas vers la fenêtre pour admirer l'horizon. _
— _Demain matin à huit heures, tu te rendras à la bibliothèque où on te trouvera une occupation dans ce château. Mais pour l'heure, prends tes affaires et sors d'ici. Quand tu auras compris ce qu'est le respect de soi, nous en reparlerons, mais pas avant. Tu me remercieras un jour pour ça._
_Benjamin prit ses affaires et partit en courant de la chambre. _
— _Pourquoi avoir fait ça ? demandai-je. _
— _Je me suis revu la première fois où j'ai rencontré mon défunt Roi bien aimé. Ça m'a fait mal... C'est aussi ce qu'il m'avait dit après m'avoir giflé. Au fond il a vraiment déteint sur moi au cours de ces quinze dernières années, s'amusa-t-il._
— _Sûrement, fis-je pour moi dans un grand sourire. _
_Le lendemain, Benjamin entra dans la bibliothèque à huit heures, comme le lui avait demandé le Roi. Au milieu de la grande salle aux murs tapissés de livres – en les voyant, il se disait qu'il n'en avait jamais vus autant d'un coup –, se trouvait une table immense autour de laquelle se tenait notamment une jeune fille de dix ans, d'après sa taille et son visage juvénile. On lui avait expliqué qu'il s'agissait de la sœur de la Reine – il l'avait vue la veille au soir et l'avait reconnue _« étrange, _se disait-il, _car il semblait qu'on la voyait davantage que sa sœur »_ le Roi lui-même semblait accorder beaucoup d'importance à l'avis qu'elle pouvait donner sur les choses de la cour. Il les avait déjà surpris un soir dans la chambre du Roi en grande conversation et s'amusant beaucoup, comme des amis de longue date. _
_En face d'elle, il y avait un jeune blond de deux ans son aîné, vu son physique. Il était très beau, mais pas la même beauté que le roi… _« Tiens, _se dit-il_, maintenant que j'y pense, il a beaucoup de charme ce Roi… »_ Puis il sortit de ses pensées quand un homme au bout de la table près d'un tableau lui fit signe d'avancer vers eux et de s'asseoir. _
— _Bonjour, fit l'homme. Je suis le professeur Arthur. Le Roi m'a demandé de t'apprendre à lire et à écrire, alors assieds-toi, je vais commencer. Puisque nous avons un nouvel élève aujourd'hui, nous allons reprendre du début, ça ne fera de mal à personne de revoir les bases. _
— _Heu… fit-il intrigué en pivotant la tête de Quatre à moi, vous aussi vous apprenez à lire et à écrire ? _
— _Bien sûr, fis-je. Je suis la Reine. Et à ce titre, je me dois de savoir lire et écrire. Pas que je ne sache pas, disons que je suis autodidacte. J'ai appris par moi-même et pas forcément de la meilleure façon. De plus, j'ai fait la promesse à un ami de lui apprendre ce que je sais la prochaine fois qu'on se verrait._
— …
_Benjamin resta quoi face à ce que je venais de lui dire._
— _Ça ne va pas ? fis-je._
— _Hahaha ! réagit le blond dans un grand éclat de rire. Je pense Votre Altesse que sa réaction est tout à fait légitime : depuis son arrivée ici, tout le monde – le Roi y compris – vous fait passer pour votre propre sœur et à l'instant, vous venez de lui dire que c'est vous la Reine et qu'il n'y a pas de « sœur de la Reine » ! _
_Je compris le trouble de Benjamin._
— _Benjamin c'est ça ? reprit le comte. Je suis le Comte Quatre précisa-t-il dans un grand sourire. Suite à quelques problèmes personnels ces dernières années, je dois rattraper un certain retard en matière d'éducation et de bonnes manières. À nos côtés, c'est donc Hinata, la reine. Mais je t'expliquerai tous les détails plus tard, car Monsieur Arthur attend après nous pour commencer son cours. Sache néanmoins que tout ce que tu pourrais entendre au sujet de la Reine dans le palais restera confidentiel. On peut te faire confiance, n'est-ce pas ?_
— _Euh… je n'ai pas tout compris, mais… oui ! _
_Plus les mois avançaient, et plus Benjamin se révélait être une personne douée dans ses actes et pertinente dans ses dires. Quant à sa relation avec Grégory, elle s'est améliorée au fil du temps en dépit de leurs deux ou trois premières rencontres assez houleuses il finit même par se rapprocher progressivement et intimement de nous. D'un commun accord avec mon époux, nous avons décidé de lui parler de nos projets pour libérer les esclaves – comme les paris – ainsi que du sommet pour la création d'un nouveau gouvernement qui viendrait en aide aux différents peuples dans le monde. Pour tout cela, il souhaitait collaborer activement._
_Un soir que je discutais par Escargophone avec Grégory, Benjamin nous écoutait :_
— _Je déteste vraiment ces types, commença le Roi sur le ton de la colère. Ils acceptent de libérer leurs esclaves, mais à deux conditions : la première étant qu'ils veulent venir au sommet en ayant un pouvoir de décision pour se faire valoir auprès des autres Tenryubitos la seconde étant que je dois leur procurer un 'divertissement' le temps du voyage. Et bien entendu avec eux tout porte sur le sexe et la torture, fit le roi outré par cette idée. _
— _Je comprends, je n'en attendais pas moins d'eux, dis-je dépitée on va trouver un moyen. _
— _Faites-le ! Dites-leur oui. Je serai celui qui s'exposera pour les satisfaire une dernière fois, nous dit Benjamin. _
— _Ça ne va pas, non ? fit le roi. _
— _Au contraire, je tiens là le moyen de sauver ma famille, gardée en esclave par l'un d'eux ! Je sais que je fais ça aussi par intérêt personnel, mais comprenez-moi, il faut que je les libère…_
— _Grégory, fis-je. Vous savez comme moi qu'il ne changera pas d'idée. Ne vous inquiétez pas, je l'accompagnerai dans cette démarche. Laissez-moi y réfléchir, je vais trouver une solution qui pourra satisfaire tout le monde. On parle ici de libérer pas moins de deux cents personnes, ainsi que la famille de Benjamin. _
— _Merci Hinata, me dit-il. _
— _On verra, répondit le roi plutôt préoccupé par cette perspective._
_Quelques jours après, je les contactais de nouveau : _
— _J'ai trouvé une idée, si tu es toujours d'accord Benjamin ? _
— _Plus que jamais._
— _Alors écoutez-moi attentivement, parce que vous allez leur faire signer un contrat dans lequel on accepte de leur céder un esclave sexuel qui pourvoira à tous leurs besoins le temps du trajet. La seule règle est qu'il ne doit pas mourir. Après, ils font ce qu'ils veulent de lui. Il encaissera tout et s'il ne réussit pas, ils gagnent contre nous et pourront nous demander une compensation. _
_À partir du moment où je serai à l'hôtel, ils pourront jouer avec lui, mais uniquement le soir – c'est-à-dire après les journées de négociations – et il reviendra passer toutes les nuits avec moi. _
_En journée, pendant le sommet, il sera la voix du roi et par conséquent considéré comme un noble. Si les Tenryubitos venaient à quitter le sommet avant la fin, Benjamin resterait avec moi en tant que représentant du roi et moi, je prendrais leur voix. S'ils restent jusqu'à la fin, ils pourront repartir avec lui, suivant les mêmes conditions que lors du voyage aller. _
_Pour une bonne équité et être sûr que tout se déroule dans les règles, un arbitre sera là, choisi par nous : il s'agira de Quatre, et en tant que tel il restera neutre et récupèrera Benjamin pour les fins de nuit sur le bateau. _
_Benjamin devra rentrer dans la chambre réveillé et sur ses pieds – ou du moins conscient – même si on l'aide à se déplacer. Si ce n'est pas le cas, ils perdent._
_Quatre pourra soigner Benjamin jusqu'à ce que je le récupère et le soigne moi-même. Il aura donc un soutien permanent. Quatre ne devra pas intervenir, c'est grâce à son pouvoir d'empathie qu'il pourra savoir ce qui se passe et voir si tout est bien respecté._
_Pour le reste, je serai présente dès qu'il le faudra. Je sais que ce sera une situation inconfortable à vivre pour vous trois, mais c'est le seul moyen. _
_De plus, je vais tout faire pour qu'il n'y ait pas de voyage de retour avec eux. _
— _Ça me va, j'ai confiance et je ne serai pas seul. Accepte Grégory, pour ma famille…_
— _Hinata, je te le confie. Je vous soutiens. Je vais tout retranscrire et prier pour qu'on réussisse, on n'a pas le droit de perdre, sinon…_
— _Merci mon amour et ne t'inquiète pas, je ne suis pas en sucre, déclara Benjamin._
Une fois ce récit terminé, tout le monde me fixa du regard.
— J'imagine que vous devez être outrés par ma décision. Si je pouvais être à sa place sachez que je le ferais. Mais cette nuit ils ont été trop loin et Benjamin a craqué. Il a tenu bon mais il les a défiés. Il faut que je le récupère avant que lui et Quatre ne fassent une connerie.
— Qu'ils les tuent ? fit Luffy.
— Non. Non que ça me dérange, mais ça n'aiderait personne, crois-moi.
— Bon et on fait quoi ? dit Mihawk.
— Ce soir, dès notre arrivée, je me rendrai à l'hôtel pour m'occuper de tout ce beau monde. Dans un premier temps, j'irai soigner Benjamin ils l'ont tellement fouetté pendant une heure sans discontinuer que son dos ressemble à présent à une plaie béante que même les crèmes de Chopper ont du mal à refermer. Heureusement que j'ai pensé à en donner à Quatre. Merci encore Chopper, ajoutai-je en m'adressant au renne. Dans un second temps, ça risque d'être un peu de l'improvisation… complétai-je plus pour moi-même.
La journée se poursuivit tranquillement pour tout le monde, chacun affairé à sa tâche pour se donner l'illusion que le temps passerait plus vite et qu'ainsi nous arriverions assez tôt sur l'île pour sauver ces pauvres malheureux.
17. Chapter 15
Bonjour à tous,
Merci encore de me suivre. Un grand merci à celles qui me commentent sachez que cela me fait avancer. Comme vous le savez, je corrige encore ma fiction et grâce à vos commentaires, je rajoute ou change certain passage pour améliorer l'histoire. Par exemple j'ai rajouté un chapitre 6.5 et le mois prochain un chapitre 15.5 sur un couple qu'on ne voit pas souvent et que j'aimerais faire connaitre et apprécier. Surprise le 15 novembre. J'ai aussi agrandit mon chapitre 20 et je vais faire un chapitre 21 qui sera un épilogue.
Sinon j'espère que ce nouveau chapitre vous plaira il continent beaucoup de lemon avec des couples plus ou moins atypiques. Je vous souhaite une bonne lecture et vous donne rendez-vous autour du 15 novembre. Biz Peacecraft.
**Chapitre 15 : Première nuit sur l'île du sommet **
La journée touchait enfin à sa fin, les membres d'équipages n'étaient pas fâchés d'arriver au port – il leur a semblé que les dernières heures s'éternisaient. Il était aux environs de vingt-trois heures quand les deux bateaux jetèrent l'ancre et que le sous-marin de Law – que Franky avait fini de réparer – refit surface pour marquer l'arrêt.
Pendant que tout le monde descendait de bord pour se diriger vers l'hôtel, je profitai de l'occasion pour prendre l'apparence d'Apo et ainsi paraître plus crédible en tant que Reine. En entrant dans le hall de l'hôtel, j'interpelai Aokiji et Smoker qui étaient arrivés dans les premiers :
— Aokiji, criai-je, le numéro de ma chambre, s'il te plaît !
— 425 !
— Alors va l'ouvrir immédiatement et attends les enfants devant, c'est bien compris ?
Aokiji partit en courant vers ma chambre.
— Smoker, occupe-toi des autres : distribue les clefs à chacun d'entre nous pour que nous puissions aller nous reposer, moi j'ai encore un truc à faire…
Tout en donnant mes ordres et en me dirigeant vers l'ascenseur, je tentais une communication télépathique avec Quatre :
— Quatre, tu m'entends ? Où est Benjamin ?
— Chambre 420.
— Rejoins-moi devant. Après, tu iras avec lui dans la 425, c'est ma chambre. Je vais m'occuper de le soigner. Cette nuit, vous dormirez avec moi. Plus personne ne le touchera, promis.
— Bien, merci Hinata, me répondit-il.
L'ascenseur s'ouvrit au quatrième étage et je fonçai vers la chambre 420, suivie de Shanks, Crocodile et Luffy. Devant la porte se trouvait déjà Quatre, les larmes aux yeux. Benjamin souffrait, nous le ressentions tous les deux. _« Pas de temps à perdre », _pensai-je aussi, je donnai mes ordres :
— Quand les Tenryubitos sortiront – si vous êtes encore là – collez-vous au mur, baissez la tête, ne les regardez pas, ne les touchez pas. Est-ce clair ?
Tout le monde s'était exécuté, et attendait que je ressorte avec Benjamin. J'ouvris alors la porte et la franchis tout en la laissant ouverte.
— Eh bien, messieurs ? En tant que votre souveraine, j'aurais aimé un peu plus de convenances à mon égard, de celles qui, par exemple, exigent votre présence pour m'accueillir, fis-je sur le ton de la colère.
— …
— Toi ! le gamin, mets ton caleçon, prends le reste de tes fringues et sors. N'oublie pas de fermer la porte derrière toi, lui ordonnai-je… Merci.
— M… Ma… Majesté ? Vous êtes donc arrivée ? bredouilla un des hommes tout en cherchant l'appui de ses comparses.
— Comme vous pouvez le voir.
Un silence de mort régnait dans la chambre.
— Bien, je pense que nous avons à parler, ne croyez-vous pas ?
Benjamin quitta la chambre en fermant derrière lui. Dans le couloir, il s'affaissa par terre, en pleur : ils avaient rouvert ses blessures. Quatre le prit dans ses bras, et secondé par Luffy, tous deux l'aidèrent à se relever, se positionnèrent de part et d'autre de ses épaules – pour qu'il s'appuie sur eux – le tout en évitant de toucher son dos ensanglanté. Puis les trois garçons se dirigèrent vers ma chambre.
Pendant ce temps, je pris une profonde inspiration pour m'inciter à me calmer. Aussi, quand les mots sortirent de ma bouche, ils furent clairs et ne souffraient aucun commentaire :
— Messieurs, je ne suis pas contente du tout. Dois-je vous rappeler que nous avions un accord ? Si je n'étais pas arrivée à temps, cet enfant serait mort. Il était pourtant bien stipulé qu'il devait vivre, non ? Donc à partir de maintenant, vous devrez vous passer de lui et de toute autre distraction. Suis-je assez claire ?
— Euh… balbutia l'un des hommes pour toute réponse.
— Bien, je pense que nous nous sommes compris et que je ne vous y reprenne plus.
— Ma reine, nous… commença un autre.
— IL SUFFIT ! Nous n'avons plus rien à nous dire pour l'instant. Nous nous reverrons demain. Bonne nuit à vous, chers Sujets !
Et je leur tournai le dos pour partir.
— Votre majesté, répondirent-ils tous ensemble, l'échine courbée.
Quand j'arrivai sur le seuil de la porte, je la refermai derrière moi. J'aperçus Shanks et Cro plaqués contre le mur, la tête baissée. Je claquai des doigts et ils relevèrent la tête d'un signe, je leur fis comprendre de me suivre pour rejoindre les autres.
Dans ma chambre, Luffy et Aokiji regardaient Chopper soigner Benjamin. Celui-ci se tenait debout devant le lit, aussi droit que possible, le dos en sang. Il ne bronchait pas malgré la douleur, seules quelques larmes coulaient le long de ses joues. Sur leur gauche, assis sur une table se trouvait Quatre qui pleurait en silence comme Benjamin. Le blond se mordait la lèvre inférieure jusqu'au sang pour ne pas demander pardon, et criait de rage et de douleur. Je m'avançai vers Chopper.
— Chopper, merci pour tout, je prends le relais maintenant.
— Oh ! d'accord, je voulais juste…
— Je sais, merci Chopper, lui répondis-je avec mon plus beau sourire.
Sans un mot, je posai mes mains sur le dos de Benjamin, et entrepris de le guérir. Ses plaies se refermèrent une à une. Quand j'eus fini avec le dos, je descendis mes mains sur ses fesses et le haut de ses cuisses. Pour finir, je fis sortir une énorme bulle qui représentait sa douleur – physique et morale – et la pris en moi. Au moment où je sentis qu'il se détendait, je lui tendis de quoi se rhabiller.
— Va te doucher ! Tu es couvert de sang. Mets ensuite ces habits propres et après au lit.
Il attrapa les vêtements, se retourna sans un mot, me regarda, me prit dans ses bras et partit vers la salle de bain.
Je me tournai vers Quatre et l'enlaçai, il fondit davantage en larmes. J'en profitai pour aspirer sa douleur.
— Désolée, je n'aurais pas dû vous demander ça, ni vous laisser si longtemps tous seuls. Maintenant je suis là. Je vais tout faire pour que ces bourreaux partent au plus vite et sans vous.
— Merci… je veux les voir morts… je les hais… je ne supporte plus de le voir souffrir.
— Je sais Quatre. Tes barrières sont tombées et progressivement tu as été happé par les sentiments des autres. Ça va te rendre fou, dès demain on va les reconstruire.
— Merci… je n'en peux plus… je ne sais pas comment tu fais ? Moi je ne le supporte plus. Tous ces sentiments qui ne m'appartiennent pas et qui se mêlent aux miens, j'en oublie qui je suis et ce que je ressens.
— Je sais, on va arranger ça avant de faire une bêtise. Moi aussi j'en ai besoin. Je me contrôle de moins en moins. Mais dis-moi, hier, que s'est-il passé ? Pourquoi il a réagi comme ça ?
— Ils ont tué une enfant dans la rue. Elle n'avait pas baissé la tête devant eux, ils l'ont fait exécuter et personne n'a rien dit, pas même les marines. On allait intervenir, mais un marine nous a arrêtés en disant que si nous aussi on venait à mourir il n'y aurait pas que les parents de cette fille en deuil. Il a également rajouté que vous chercheriez à nous venger avec le Roi, ce qui aurait pour conséquences un conflit au sein du gouvernement mondial et peut-être une guerre chez les civils, alors que justement notre mission est tout le contraire. « Mais ils paieront un jour » a-t-il précisé, peut-être davantage pour se rassurer lui que nous…
Aussi hier soir, Benjamin a tenu à leur montrer que tout le monde ne se plierait plus à leurs désirs.
— Je comprends mieux à présent, je suis désolée. Je ne l'ai pas vu venir, sinon je serais intervenue.
— Tu fais déjà beaucoup, me dit Benjamin qui sortait de la douche. Tu ne peux pas être partout et aider tout le monde.
En passant devant nous, il nous déposa une bise sur la joue, puis se dirigeant vers Chopper, il le prit dans ses bras et lui sourit. Il finit par monter sur le lit pour se coucher dans les draps.
Je tendis alors des habits à Quatre.
— À toi maintenant. Va te doucher, et au lit ! Ça te fera du bien. J'irai après toi.
Et me retournant vers Aokiji, j'ajoutai :
— Retrouve ce marine et remercie-le pour tout, il a eu raison de faire ce qu'il a fait. De plus, leur mort n'aurait pas ramené la petite à la vie. En revanche, j'aimerais aider la famille pour organiser des funérailles convenables. Peux-tu le faire pour moi ?
— Oui, bien sûr je m'en occupe à la première heure demain.
Tout en discutant avec Aokiji, je voyais la chambre se remplir d'un bon nombre de personnes du bateau : Mihawk, Law, Dragon, Daz, Smoker, tout l'équipage de Luffy ainsi qu'une partie de celui de Shanks. C'est alors que je m'exclamai à voix haute :
— Ouah ! En fait, c'est moi qui ai la chambre la plus grande. Même avec tout ce monde qui vient d'arriver, il reste encore plein de place !
Alors que ma remarque faisait rire l'assistance, je commençai à détailler la pièce dans laquelle je me trouvais – c'est à dire la partie chambre à proprement parler –, tandis que les autres étaient restés dans la partie salon.
La chambre était spacieuse, on aurait pu tous y entrer sans problème, elle ressemblait à un appartement. J'avais hâte de voir la salle de bain, elle devait être immense.
— Digne d'une reine, me répondit Smoker avec un grand sourire. Tout le monde est installé, Tashigi s'occupe des derniers détails. Y a-t-il encore quelque chose que l'on peut faire pour toi ?
— Non pas ce soir merci, je vais aller dormir. On verra le reste demain matin, la nuit est déjà bien entamée. Allez dormir vous aussi. Merci à vous deux, dis-je en regardant Smoker et Aokiji. Je vois que vous avez fait ça bien, je ne m'inquiète pas.
— On ne peut rien faire ? questionna Daz
— Non merci, ça va aller, j'ai bien mangé. Léna va bien, elle comprend que vous ne puissiez pas vous voir tout de suite. On s'est mis d'accord pour que vous vous rattrapiez un autre soir.
Je fis place à Apo qui voulait intervenir :
— Attendez ! Mon amour, dit-elle en s'adressant à Cro, j'aurais tant aimé passer la nuit avec toi, mais vu les circonstances, ça risque d'être compliqué. Toutefois, accepterais-tu de rester – de façon platonique – avec nous ce soir, le lit est assez grand pour nous accueillir je pense ?
— En effet, on peut y tenir à plusieurs… Shanks, Daz vous restez aussi ? demanda Cro.
— Oui, mais je dormirai sur un des nombreux canapés, répondit Daz, à cinq c'est déjà suffisant dans le lit !
— Je peux dormir sur le canapé, réagit Shanks. Il me semble que c'était votre tour avec Léna ce soir, non ?
— Non, c'est bon. De plus, Hinata doit être épuisée, elle va certainement garder son corps d'origine pour dormir. Je me trompe ?
— Non, tu as raison, car c'est sous cette forme que je récupère le mieux.
— Alors c'est entendu, conclut Daz, et puis nous aurons d'autres opportunités avec Léna…
— Parfait, si ça te convient, fit Shanks.
Quatre sortit de la salle de bain, il m'embrassa puis se dirigea vers le lit.
— Mets-toi au milieu avec Benjamin, lui expliquai-je, on va dormir à plusieurs. Nous allons caler Benjamin entre nous – pour qu'il se sente en sécurité – pendant que les autres s'installeront autour de nous.
— Alors je me mettrai de ton côté Quatre, lui dit Cro, comme ça Shanks ira du côté de Hinata. Ça te va ?
— Tout me va, tant que j'ai Benjamin dans les bras… répondit Quatre d'une voix lasse.
Alors que tout le monde quittait progressivement la chambre – sauf Shanks, Cro et Daz qui dormaient avec nous –, nous regardions Quatre aller se coucher. Il attira Benjamin à lui qui se retourna pour coller son dos contre le torse du jeune blond en grognant un vague « merci » avant de se rendormir paisiblement. Une fois la chambre vide, nous sommes allés à la douche chacun notre tour avant de prendre place sur le lit – ou le canapé pour Daz – autour des 'enfants'.
Je m'endormis assez rapidement en laissant mon esprit vagabonder de chambre en chambre, comme à mon habitude.
Tout le monde décida dans un premier temps de retourner dans sa chambre. Il était tard – près d'une heure du matin – et ces dernières journées avaient été passablement riches en émotions. Chacun aspirait à un peu de tranquillité. Toutefois, je percevais comme une agitation, un malaise chez certains d'entre eux.
Le premier couple à s'installer dans une chambre fut Smoker et Aokiji. Au moment des réservations, ils avaient suggéré d'avoir des chambres séparées car ils venaient à peine de se retrouver et ne voulaient pas tout brusquer. Finalement, la situation semblait mieux que s'apaiser entre eux…
Les garçons étaient dans la chambre de Smoker, allongés sur le lit en train de faire des câlins, de se caresser, de s'embrasser. Ils allaient enfin avoir l'occasion de nous aider d'une certaine façon, depuis le temps qu'ils voulaient le faire.
Aokiji sourit et dit :
— J'ai une idée pour ce soir, tu veux bien que je mène ? Et après, ce sera ton tour… si on tient encore la route après ce je vais te faire… Sinon, on verra ça plus tard, ajouta-t-il en embrassant Smoker.
— Je te laisse faire, je pense que ça ira pour ce soir.
— Bien. Viens sur moi, je veux que tu positionnes ton dos sur mon torse.
— Ok.
Les deux amants se mirent donc en position. Aokiji attrapa un coussin pour que Smoker soit installé plus confortablement, la tête relevée.
Aokiji replia ses jambes vers lui – de façon à avoir les genoux relevés –, il plaça ensuite celles de son homme sur les siennes, tels que les pieds de ce dernier s'appuyèrent sur les genoux d'Aokiji.
Les bassins au-dessus l'un de l'autre, l'ex Amiral pouvait ainsi atteindre le pénis et l'anus de son amant avec les mains sans difficulté. Il mouilla ses doigts et caressa la verge de son amant qui – dans cette position – se retrouvait totalement à sa merci. Aokiji continuait ses caresses sur les parties érogènes et génitales de Smoker tout en stimulant son propre pénis. Lorsque le brun sentit que les préliminaires faisaient effet, il saisit sa verge pour pénétrer son amant – doucement – tout en lui procurant du plaisir. Aokiji saisit alors le membre turgescent de son homme qui – pris entre deux feux – ne savait plus où donner de la tête.
Après de longues minutes à être ainsi excité, Smoker ne put se retenir davantage et éjacula dans la main d'Aokiji. Celui-ci en profita pour attraper les jambes de son homme, les relevant en l'air, l'une contre l'autre, et accentua les va-et-vient. Les deux amants étaient encore plus stimulés et Smoker gémit plus fort que tout à l'heure.
Accélérant le mouvement, Aokiji était de plus en plus galvanisé et finit par jouir dans son homme qui éjacula une seconde fois dans un violent orgasme.
Les garçons s'allongèrent à nouveau et ne bougèrent plus pendant un moment, puis Smoker se laissa glisser sur le côté et s'installa sur le torse d'Aokiji.
— Eh bien, c'était sportif ! Moi qui étais fatigué, là je suis claqué, mais on le refait quand tu veux, dit Smoker en riant.
— Ravi que ça t'ait plu. Cela faisait un moment qu'on ne l'avait pas fait comme ça… et j'aime bien, susurra Aokiji.
— Moi aussi… Je t'aime… Et je pense qu'il y en une qui aura autant apprécié que nous, rit Smoker.
— J'en suis sûr, sourit Aokiji.
Ils s'embrassèrent et finirent par s'endormir. Après une si intense aventure, je décidai d'aller dans une autre chambre. Je trouvai Mihawk devant celle de Law, un peu hésitant, qui frappa à la porte. On vint lui ouvrir quelques instants plus tard.
— Que veux-tu ? demanda Law sur la défensive.
— Te parler… Puis-je…? sollicita Mihawk en signifiant qu'il souhaitait entrer.
— Entre.
Il ferma la porte derrière lui, s'avança dans la chambre puis alla s'adosser au bureau près de la fenêtre. Il regarda Mihawk au milieu de la pièce, puis ajouta :
— Je t'écoute ?
— Voilà, je suis venu te demander pardon vis-à-vis de ma réaction. J'ai été stupide. Tu as raison on s'en fout de l'âge.
— Ouais, et il t'a fallu tout ce temps pour t'en apercevoir ? ricana Law.
— Oui. Mais visiblement tu n'as pas l'air prêt à vouloir me pardonner… J'ai… C'est idiot de ma part, je n'aurais pas dû venir…
— Tu te fous de moi ? Après ce que tu m'as sorti la dernière fois, tu veux encore que je te pardonne ? C'est une blague ?
Mihawk ne bougeait pas et semblait déterminé à avoir cette discussion avec Law.
— Visiblement pas ! Je te déteste Mihawk, pour tout ce que tu as dit, pour tout ce que tu représentes à mes yeux ! Sors d'ici, je n'ai plus rien à te dire !
— Si tu veux, répondit Mihawk, mais avant j'ai une dernière chose à faire.
Il s'avança vers Law, l'attrapa par les bras et l'embrassa passionnément. Quand il le lâcha, il le fit se retourner, le bloqua entre la table et son corps, puis reprit la parole :
— Tu veux vraiment que je parte d'ici ? Tu ne t'es pas trop débattu quand je t'ai embrassé !
— Salaud ! Tu essaies de me dominer ? cria Law.
Law était mal positionné pour riposter, les bras tendus en avant. Les derniers gestes de Mihawk l'avaient pris au dépourvu. Le choc fut si brutal que pour ne pas tomber de tout son long sur la table il avait placé ses bras en avant : ceux de Mihawk se mettaient le long des siens ses mains venaient recouvrir les siennes ses doigts s'entrelaçaient avec les siens il le sentait même lui écarter les jambes avec l'une des siennes, il pensa alors que malgré toute la rancœur qu'il avait contre Mihawk, cette situation l'excitait au plus haut point.Puis il entendit Mihawk lui parler :
— Tu ne me laisses pas trop le choix. Tu ne veux pas m'écouter et tu me parles mal, alors je suis obligé de prendre les choses en mains. En plus, je suis sûr que tu as envie qu'on le refasse…
— Vas chier, je…
— Ttt, tu sais bien que je n'aime quand tu parles comme ça.
Mihawk resserra son étreinte sur tout son corps.
— Dis-moi non et je partirai, je ne compte pas te violer, ce n'est pas dans mes habitudes. Je t'aime. Je veux juste être avec toi et te rendre heureux.
— Je…
Les sentiments de Law étaient partagés entre colère et désir. Il hésita encore un moment puis ajouta :
— D'accord, prends-moi ! Et tu as intérêt à me donner du plaisir, sinon tu le regretteras ! Je me demande encore parfois pourquoi je n'arrive pas à t'oublier…
— Haha ! Je me pose la même question te concernant. Mais ne t'inquiète pas, si tu me laisses faire – mon petit chirurgien de la mort – tu ne devrais pas être déçu…
— Hé, hé! Tais-toi et commence avant que je ne change d'avis.
Mihawk ne se fit pas prier, il en avait envie depuis si longtemps. Il l'embrassa tout en relâchant son étreinte au niveau du bassin, puis il passa ses mains entre la table et Law, défit le pantalon du jeune homme et le fit glisser le long de ses jambes. Ensuite, il passa une de ses mains dans le caleçon de Law pour le caresser. Il commença à jouer avec sa verge et ses bourses son amant gémissait. Il en voulait plus, mais Mihawk faisait durer le plaisir.
Le plus âgé des deux dominait clairement la situation et comptait bien en profiter le plus longtemps possible : il arrêta ce qu'il avait entrepris avec le sexe de son amant avant que ce dernier ne jouisse complètement – ce n'était pas le but de la manœuvre – il lui retira son caleçon, s'accroupit derrière et le lécha entre les fesses il enfonça un premier doigt, puis un second, s'amusa un moment à le stimuler puis finit par se relever quand il sentit que son homme était suffisamment détendu enfin, il décida de se débarrasser de ses propres affaires et pénétra Law.
Pour garder une meilleure emprise sur son amant, il appuya son torse nu sur le dos de ce dernier, entama des va-et-vient, puis prit appui avec ses mains sur celles de Law. Par intermittence, les deux hommes manifestaient leur contentement par de petits cris de jouissance Mihawk en profitait pour embrasser la nuque de Law et mordiller le lobe de ses oreilles.
Il lui murmurait des paroles douces, réconfortantes, parfois même un peu coquines. Law l'entendait à peine, mais ça l'excitait de plus en plus. Cette voix à son oreille, cet homme en lui, ces mains qui pétrissaient les siennes à chacun de ses gémissements.
Law enfonçait de plus en plus ses ongles dans le bureau au fur et à mesure que le plaisir le submergeait : Mihawk n'avait vraiment pas son pareil pour le faire jouir, peut-être parce qu'il l'aimait… qu'ils s'aimaient, à leur façon.
En guise de dernier acte, les va-et-vient s'accentuèrent et ils jouirent ensemble. Mihawk se retira et caressa la verge de son amant. Il ne s'en était pas occupé depuis un moment. Malgré tout, de la voir encore en érection, il sourit : il avait des idées plein la tête.
Law profita que Mihawk desserrât son étreinte pour faire volte-face. Même si Mihawk savait y faire pour lui procurer un maximum de plaisir durant l'acte sexuel, Law n'avait pas dit son dernier mot et comptait bien menait la barque à son tour aussi bien que son amant.
— À ton tour maintenant, ordonna-t-il.
Law s'apprêtait à inverser leur position quand il vit Mihawk, un sourire carnassier aux lèvres, un peu comme s'il s'y attendait.
Mihawk fut le plus rapide et prit à nouveau Law dans ses bras. Il glissa ses mains le long de son dos, pour pouvoir le soulever par son postérieur. Surpris par les enchaînements vifs de son homme, Law s'accrocha à son cou et positionna ses jambes autour de son bassin pour ne pas tomber.
— D'accord, répondit Mihawk tout en effectuant sa manœuvre, mais certainement pas comme tu le penses…
Law resta interdit quelques secondes.
— T'ai-je déjà déçu ? Au lit je veux dire ?
Law fit non de la tête.
— Alors je suis sûr que ça va te plaire, précisa-t-il avec un clin d'œil.
Il fallait le reconnaître, cet homme faisait l'amour aussi bien qu'il se battait à l'épée.
Law se laissa porter jusqu'au lit. Il se demandait ce que Mihawk avait en tête _peut-être voulait-il l'allonger sous lui ?_ Finalement, Mihawk s'assit sur le lit et positionna Law sur ses jambes pour pouvoir mieux lui caresser le dos, l'embrasser dans le cou, sur le torse et finir en lui mordillant les aréoles. Law émettait comme des petits cris d'un plaisir intense : il n'en pouvait plus, il était au bord de l'extase et le supplice était grandissant !
— Qu'est-ce que tu fais ? J'en peux plus, je… Hmmm ! gémit-il, de colère et de plaisir mélangés.
— Vraiment ? fit Mihawk content de lui.
— Oui, sale dominateur.
— Haha ! Alors tu devrais aimer ce qui va arriver.
Mihwak s'allongea sur le lit et Law se plaça à cheval sur lui. Il le regarda d'un air interrogateur et l'autre lui répondit :
— Je vais te laisser une opportunité de vengeance – d'une certaine façon – vas-y, prends ton pied et n'aie pas peur d'y aller fort !
Et Mihawk écarta les jambes pour lui faire comprendre qu'il était prêt.
— Tu es sûr que c'est ça que tu veux ? dit Law.
— Depuis quand tu te soucis de faire mal à quelqu'un. J'en ai vu d'autre, crois-moi !
Law hésita un instant. Il est vrai qu'il gardait encore une certaine rancœur envers son amant pour ce qui s'était passé, mais à présent, il devait reconnaître que la donne semblait avoir changé.
Il finit par se mouiller les doigts pour se branler, puis le pénétra sans ménagement. _Après tout, _pensait-il_, s'il aime souffrir, autant lui faire plaisir !_
Même s'il n'éprouva aucune résistance, il s'arrêta un court instant pour laisser son homme s'habituer à lui. Pourtant Mihawk avait à peine réagi, comme s'il n'avait ressenti qu'une légère douleur et puis plus rien.
_De deux choses l'une_, se disait Law, _soit il en a trop vu et il ne ressent vraiment plus rien, soit il se considère en martyr et veut souffrir en silence. Ça se respecte_, pensa-t-il dans un grand sourire. Et il accéléra ses mouvements du bassin, de plus en plus vite, de plus en plus fort il voyait bien dans les yeux de cet homme qu'il dominait qu'ils cherchaient la même chose, une extase absolue pour unir leur deux corps.
Law accéléra la cadence et quelques minutes plus tard, les deux hommes jouirent ensemble, totalement exaltés. Law se retira, et ils s'allongèrent plus confortablement sur le lit, l'un contre l'autre.
Ils mirent un moment à reprendre leurs esprits, tellement l'intensité de l'acte était forte.
— Tu tiens toujours à ce que je m'en aille pour de bon, commença Mihawk d'un air amusé.
— Urusei ! Ne t'avise plus de me refaire un coup pareil ! Et maintenant dors, une dure journée nous attend demain, répondit Law en enlaçant son amant.
— Une dernière chose…
— Hmm ? fit Law à moitié endormi, la tête dans l'oreiller.
— On s'installe ici ou dans ma chambre ?
— Ma chambre, rétorqua Law d'un ton qui montrait bien sa détermination à ne plus se laisser marcher sur les pieds. On est bien ici, non ?
— Haha ! Comme tu voudras ! Demain, j'amène mes affaires. Bonne nuit. Je t'aime.
— Je t'aime aussi, fais de beaux rêves…
Ils s'étaient enfin retrouvés, en dépit de leur grande différence d'âge, et plus rien ne pourrait changer ça. Ils s'embrassèrent une dernière fois avant de s'endormir main dans la main.
Je laissais les garçons à leurs retrouvailles bien méritées, et je décidai de poursuivre mon tour d'horizon des amours incertaines. C'est alors que je tombai sur une Robin tournant en rond dans sa chambre : elle semblait perdue dans ses pensées et ne savait pas trop quoi faire quand elle sentit la porte de sa chambre s'ouvrir. Une ombre noire se faufila, elle l'a remarqua sans trop y prêter attention. Elle savait très bien qui c'était, mais elle ne tenait pas plus que ça à le voir ce soir. Elle se demandait surtout à quelle sauce elle allait encore être mangée avec cet olibrius !
— Dragon ? Comment vas-tu ? demanda-t-elle.
— Bien, et toi ?
— Ça va, mais j'ai du mal à dormir, expliqua Robin
— Oui pareil pour moi…
— Tu voulais me parler de quelque chose en particulier ? reprit Robin.
— Je voulais venir te voir plus tôt, mais… Je ne sais jamais comment m'y prendre avec ces choses-là, je suis maladroit et j'ai l'impression que tout ce que je veux entreprendre m'échappe à chaque fois, je… Je suis désolé si je t'ai blessée…
— Tu n'as pas à t'excuser Dragon, pas auprès de moi en tout cas. Tu sais, je pense vraiment qu'elle t'aime bien au fond. Elle a toujours cru en toi, que tu reviendrais pour elle – et pour son frère aussi peut-être –, et finalement, c'est ça qui est le plus dur à admettre pour elle : c'est qu'elle t'aime encore.
— Peut-être, je ne sais pas trop… À sa façon de s'exprimer quand elle me parle, je ressens bien sa colère pour l'avoir abandonnée, pourtant aujourd'hui, j'éprouve plus que jamais le besoin de lui venir en aide, d'une façon ou d'une autre ! Son combat mérite qu'on laisse nos griefs de côté.
Robin sourit, s'avança vers lui, fit glisser ses doigts le long de sa joue jusqu'à son menton pour relever sa tête, puis le regarda droit dans les yeux.
— Ce que je sais, c'est qu'elle t'a troublé et je peux le comprendre. Au début, elle se méfiait de moi, mais elle a dit que tous les membres de l'équipage étaient ses amis, et je sais que j'en fais partie. Elle a tenu sa promesse envers moi, elle ne t'a pas fait de mal. De plus, elle n'a rien dit sur nous, alors d'une certaine façon, c'est qu'elle l'a accepté. Elle a besoin de nous tous, alors si tu veux, demain, on va lui parler tous les deux. Cela fait plus d'un an qu'on est ensemble, je ne veux pas qu'on se sépare comme ça.
— Moi non plus, précisa Dragon. On fait comme ça, demain on va lui parler, en espérant qu'elle accepte de nous écouter…
— Il n'y a pas de raison, conclut Robin. Je peux te demander une dernière chose ? Ça concerne tes deux premières femmes…
— Oui bien sûr.
— Et plus précisément ce qu'a dit Déborah à Hinata par rapport à Isabelle, que tu ne l'avais jamais oubliée contrairement à ce qu'elle pensait… Non que je cherche à ce que tu l'oublies à présent…
— Chut, fit Dragon en l'embrassant. Tu es jeune, tu n'as pas encore rencontré le grand amour. J'espère qu'un jour cela t'arrivera. Sache que, que ce soit toi ou Déborah, je vous ai aimé et je t'aime toujours mais c'est différent pour chacune d'entre vous. Mais pour répondre à ta question : oui, Isabelle a été et restera mon grand amour. Pardonne-moi, mais je ne pourrai jamais la remplacer. Et je ne cherche pas à le faire. Je l'ai aimée dès le premier jour où elle est entrée dans ma vie et cela durera sûrement jusqu'au dernier jour de celle-ci. Je ne tiens pas à ce que tu me quittes demain, sauf si tu trouvais le grand amour. Je radote, mais je ne suis pas sûr de correspondre à cette « définition » si j'ose dire. J'aurais trop peur de te blesser inutilement… D'ailleurs, je n'aurais peut-être pas dû venir ce soir, c'était stupide de ma part…
— Non reste, j'ai compris ce que tu voulais me dire, et ça me va, tant qu'on reste ensemble jusqu'à ce que je rencontre « mon grand amour » comme tu dis, répondit-elle en souriant, merci de ta franchise.
Robin s'approcha de Dragon, l'embrassa et l'amena vers le lit. Elle l'aida à s'asseoir, s'agenouilla devant lui, puis le prit dans ses bras ils restèrent un moment comme ça.
Elle déboutonna la chemise de son amant et passa ses mains sur ce torse qu'elle connaissait si bien. La jeune brune reprit l'exploration de ce corps du bout des lèvres il éprouvait tellement de plaisir qu'il en bomba le torse. Robin était tellement douée et imaginative – grâce à son pouvoir – pour lui procurer autant de jouissance, qu'il s'en remettait intégralement à ses choix. Elle s'était considérablement améliorée rien qu'en faisant l'amour.
Elle commençait déjà à jouer et il se laissa déshabiller et allonger sur le lit. Dragon commença à sentir plusieurs paires de lèvres l'embrasser un peu partout entre la bouche et le cou, puis de multiples paires de mains le caresser sur tout le corps, le torse, les bras, les jambes… Robin n'avait vraiment pas son pareil pour lui faire de l'effet. Elle se positionna au niveau de ses hanches et entreprit une fellation pour finir de le stimuler. Quand il fut prêt, elle remonta pour s'allonger sur lui. Ce dernier fit glisser ses doigts sur son dos, sur le bas de ses reins, pour finir sur son clitoris et jouer suffisamment avec afin de la faire gémir et par ricochet l'exciter davantage encore.
En introduisant juste un doigt dans son vagin tout en le faisant coulisser d'avant en arrière, il réussit à la faire crier de plus belle, puis dans un dernier élan, il retira son doigt pour la pénétrer de sa verge. Robin se releva pour se mettre à cheval sur le bassin de Dragon après avoir pris appui sur ses jambes, elle débuta des va-et-vient de bas en haut, en cadence avec ceux de Dragon. Elle enfonçait ses doigts dans le torse de son homme et penchait sa tête vers l'arrière, manifestant ainsi son plaisir à chacun de leurs mouvements. Dragon redressa alors son torse pour embrasser les seins de sa bien-aimée, les lécher puis prendre sa poitrine à pleine bouche. À mesure qu'il devenait entreprenant, Robin émettait de petits cris de jouissance elle se tenait à son cou, les jambes repliées sur son bassin pendant qu'il la prenait assis en tailleur. Gardant la position, ils poursuivirent les va-et-vient tout en se caressant le dos et s'embrassant le haut du corps jusqu'à l'orgasme.
Dragon libéra son étreinte et ils restèrent là un moment à se regarder et à se câliner. Ils étaient bien et ça faisait longtemps qu'ils n'avaient pas ressenti ça. Après quelques menus échanges, ils finirent par s'endormir dans un profond sommeil.
Je me remis à vagabonder de chambre en chambre. À cette heure-ci, tout le monde dormait, cependant Sanji tapait à la porte de la chambre de Zoro. Les cheveux ébouriffés, portant un T-shirt et un simple short, il attendait, hésitant et bouillonnant de l'intérieur, ne sachant pas trop quoi faire. Même si tout le monde était au courant pour tous les deux, ils n'avaient pas remis le couvert pour autant depuis trois nuits, et il ne savait pas vraiment comment Zoro allait réagir. Le blond vit la porte s'ouvrir, entra en trombe sans attendre qu'on l'y invite, puis entendit qu'elle se refermait derrière lui. Il se retourna, voulut parler mais s'arrêta net quand il posa les yeux sur l'homme posté en face de lui.
Zoro était adossé à la porte – les bras croisés sur le torse, la jambe droite repliée –, tout juste drapé d'une serviette autour de la taille ne recouvrant que le bassin et le haut de ses cuisses. _Elle est vraiment petite cette serviette,_ pensa le cuistot. _Il est vraiment sexy ainsi dévêtu, et ce torse musclé… Hmm ! J'ai trop envie de le dévorer de baiser !_
Mais Sanji n'arrivait plus à bouger ni à parler, surtout quand il voyait Zoro le fixer ainsi :
— Je… heu… Tu… commença Sanji.
— J'allais prendre une douche, compléta Zoro.
Et après avoir embrassé Sanji sans qu'il ne vît rien venir, il ajouta :
— Ça te dit ?
— …
Sanji en restait bouche bée. Lui qui pensait que Zoro ne voulait plus de lui à force de le faire attendre, voilà qu'il lui propose de partager une douche avec lui…
— Sanji, tu viens ou tu restes là à bader les mouches ?
Le garçon aux cheveux verts attendait tout souriant devant la salle de bain, une main tendue vers lui. Sanji hésita avant d'attraper la main de son amant et de le suivre sous la douche.
— … Je te fais encore attendre…
Entourant Zoro dans ses bras, la tête posée sur son torse, il continua :
— Je ne te mérite pas, mais laisse-moi rester comme ça un petit moment, à m'imprégner de ton odeur, de ta chaleur, de ta douceur… je me sens si bien dans tes bras, si protégé…
— Reste là, autant que tu le veux, répondit Zoro.
Il passa sa main dans les cheveux de Sanji, s'amusant à le dépeigner encore plus.
— Mais si tu veux vraiment me faire plaisir et ne plus me faire attendre, viens partager cette chambre avec moi. Déménage toutes tes affaires ici. Et faisons pareil sur le bateau : partageons la même chambre une bonne fois pour toute, pour m'endormir et me réveiller tous les jours à tes côtés, c'est tout ce qui compte, le reste c'est du superflu.
Sans prendre la peine de réfléchir, Sanji acquiesça :
— D'accord, demain j'amène toutes mes affaires ici, et quand on reviendra sur le bateau on choisira une chambre où nous vivrons tous les deux.
— C'est parfait tout ça, déclara Zoro. Alors, on la prend cette douche ?
Sanji acquiesça à nouveau, et les deux hommes entrèrent dans la salle de bain. Zoro laissa passer Sanji en premier pour pouvoir refermer la porte derrière eux. Alors que le jeune blond commençait à se déshabiller, son amant s'approcha de son cou, l'embrassa et lui murmura :
— Laisse-moi faire…
Sanji ne répondit rien et se laissa faire. Son amant se tenait dans son dos, et tout en lui déboutonnant la chemise, il prenait un malin plaisir à le marquer dans le cou.
— Tu aimes bien ça ? fit remarquer Sanji dans un sourire.
— Quoi donc ?
— Me marquer ainsi…
— Oui, répondit Zoro en rigolant, je veux être sûr que tout le monde comprenne bien que tu n'es qu'à moi.
— Pas de problème pour ça, s'ils oublient, je saurai le leur rappeler fais-moi confiance. Toi seul à l'autorisation de me toucher, et personne d'autre.
— C'est une lourde responsabilité qui m'incombe… Saurai-je être suffisamment à la hauteur pour mériter ça ? ajouta Zoro tout en embrassant Sanji. En tout cas, je vais tout faire pour que tu ne changes jamais d'avis…
Et Zoro poursuivit le déshabillage de son amant.
Une fois la chemise déboutonnée, Zoro la fit glisser le long du dos de Sanji, doucement, alternant des caresses sur son torse et des baisers sur sa nuque. Ils laissèrent choir la chemise nonchalamment dans un coin de la salle de bain et Zoro repartit à l'assaut du torse nu de son amant : de légères caresses, effleurant sa peau du bout des doigts et lui procurant des frissons comme nulle autre sensation. L'épéiste délaissa temporairement le haut du corps pour s'occuper de la taille. Il dégrafa lentement le pantalon du cuistot et de ses deux mains, le fit descendre le long de ses jambes, puis finit par le lui ôter, emportant les chaussettes dans son élan.
À peine vêtu d'un caleçon, Sanji sentait sa tête tourner au fur et à mesure que Zoro se délectait de son corps. Ce dernier prenait un malin plaisir à faire courir ses mains sur toute la peau de son homme.
Sanji était aux anges, pour autant il laissait son amant agir, ne voulant rien précipiter. L'épéiste se positionna face à lui, leurs torses écrasés l'un contre l'autre, ses lèvres frôlant celles de son amant. Puis, caressant son dos, il fourra ses paluches dans son caleçon pour effleurer les fesses de son homme du bout des doigts. Il ramena ensuite une main à ses lèvres, mais se ravisa pour faire lécher ses doigts par Sanji. Une fois fait, Zoro entreprit d'exciter l'anus de son homme en introduisant un premier doigt.
Le blond offrit une courte résistance, puis se laissa pénétrer. Zoro entama une série de va-et-vient, mais le caleçon de son homme était encore de trop, alors il y remédia rapidement et reprit son affaire.
La dextérité avec laquelle Sanji se défit de son dernier vêtement épata Zoro. Ce dernier prit cela pour de l'impatience, mais peu importait, il continuerait à jouer avec le corps son amant, même si ça devait prendre toute la nuit ! Tout devait être le plus parfait possible, et il s'y emploierait ! Il poursuivit encore un petit moment ses mouvements de doigts, laissant progressivement venir son homme – pas trop vite, mais les premiers gémissements étaient prometteurs pour une belle nuit à venir ! Sanji prenait des pauses tellement sensuelles – offrant sa nuque et son torse à son amant –, que ce dernier ne put réprimer une irrésistible envie de lécher, et même mordiller ces parties si magnifiquement sculptées.
Puis il arrêta sans un mot et entendit Sanji se plaindre dans un murmure :
— Pourquoi t'arrêtes-tu baka ? Tu veux me faire perdre la tête ou quoi ?
— Oui, c'est un peu l'idée. Détends-toi et laisse-toi faire… Tu ne le regretteras pas…
— T'as intérêt.
Zoro embrassa Sanji à pleine bouche et le porta à nouveau vers la douche.
Le bretteur positionna son amant devant lui de façon à ce que l'eau lui tombât dessus. Une sensation de fraîcheur fit frissonner le jeune homme blond pris par surprise, ce qui fit rire Zoro et grogner Sanji.
— Désolé, rajouta Zoro dans un sourire.
Si ce dernier la préférait de tiède à fraîche, ce n'était pas le cas de son homme qui l'aimait plutôt chaude. Mais ils arrivèrent rapidement à un compromis pour reprendre leurs câlins.
Comme à son habitude, Zoro empoigna le savon pour s'enduire les mains de mousse et la frictionner sur l'ensemble du corps de Sanji.
À son tour, ce dernier saisit également le savon pour rendre la pareille à son homme. Tel un jeu de miroirs, les deux amants esquissaient des gestes similaires sur le corps de l'autre. Voyant cela, Zoro décidant d'accélérer la cadence et de corser les mouvements pour tenter de perdre sa moitié. Sanji au contraire prit cela pour un défi, et ne voulant pas perdre, il redoubla d'effort pour tenir le rythme.
Plus d'une fois, ils crurent sentir le sol se dérober sous leurs pieds tellement l'excitation était forte – sans compter le sol glissant de la douche !
Pour autant, Zoro n'en avait pas terminé avec les préliminaires. Il fourmillait d'idées pour prolonger ce moment jusqu'au bout de la nuit et comptait bien les mettre à exécution coûte que coûte. Sanji – excité jusqu'à un point de non-retour – n'avait qu'une envie, sauter sur l'épéiste et en finir une bonne fois pour toute. Aussi quelle ne fut pas sa surprise de trouver Zoro à ses pieds, prenant à pleine main son sexe pour le branler. Ne pouvant réprimer un cri de jouissance, Sanji s'effondra à moitié sous le coup de l'émoi sans éjaculer pour autant. Ils se redressèrent et Zoro murmura :
— Pas encore mon bien aimé, j'ai d'autres projets pour toi.
— Pourquoi me faire languir comme ça ? Pour me punir ?
— Non, je cherche à éveiller et entretenir ton désir pour que tu restes le plus longtemps possible, répondit-il dans un grand sourire.
— Et comment comptes-tu t'y prendre ?
Zoro ne répondit pas et embrassa plutôt Sanji sur la bouche.
Une fois sortis de la douche, il attrapa une serviette pour sécher le corps de Sanji à l'exception de son pénis et de son rectum.
Dans la continuité de leur jeu de mimétisme sous la douche, ce dernier entreprit la même chose sur le bretteur.
Il comprit que Zoro tenait à ce qu'ils restent tous les deux mouillés au niveau des parties génitales, aussi n'insista-t-il pas et se laissa porter jusqu'au lit.
Sanji adorait ça et il en profitait. Il avait perdu son pari sous la douche, mais la suite promettait d'être intéressante.
Sanji sentit son corps toucher les draps et sortit de ses pensées. Il leva les yeux vers Zoro qui le dévorait des yeux tout en souriant : décidément cet homme avait tout pour lui plaire.
Mais le cuistot ne comptait pas s'abandonner à lui aussi facilement. Il commença par se placer au milieu du lit, dans la lumière de la chambre, allongé sur le côté face à Zoro pour que ce dernier puisse bien profiter du spectacle.
Ses jambes positionnées l'une derrière l'autre mettaient son sexe en évidence. Zoro regardait Sanji se prélasser sur le lit : chaque mouvement, chaque position était un appel pour que le bretteur s'attarde davantage sur son entrejambe. Le second de l'équipage se dit que son cuistot allait adorer la suite.
Immobile, Zoro exhibait un sourire carnassier qui était loin de faire peur à son amant. Au contraire, il sentait de plus en plus le désir monter en lui.
Cette sensation progressait depuis le bas ventre et battait en lui aussi fortement et rapidement que son propre cœur quand il regardait Zoro face à lui et qu'il le désirait de plus en plus. Il ne pouvait plus se retenir, il grogna et vit l'homme aux cheveux verts sortir de sa transe.
Sanji avança sa main et tapota le lit comme pour dire à Zoro _« viens je suis prêt »_. À voir ce geste d'impatience de la part de Sanji, Zoro décida que le préambule était fini et qu'il fallait entrer dans le vif du sujet. Il rejoignit son amant en avançant à quatre pattes sur le lit, se plaça à côté de lui et lui dit :
— Relève-toi et positionne-toi au-dessus de moi, mais à l'envers par rapport à moi.
Sani le regardait perplexe.
— Tu me fais confiance ?
Sanji opina du chef.
— Ok, alors laisse-moi faire, ça devrait te plaire…
Zoro s'allongea sur le dos, bien confortablement et Sanji s'assit à cheval sur lui au niveau de la taille. Toujours en suivant les instructions de Zoro, il se releva un peu pour se mettre à genoux de part et d'autre de la tête de son amant.
Le jeune homme blond sentait la respiration chaude de son homme sur son pénis, et cela l'excitait énormément. _Oui, _se dit-il_, ça devrait me plaire._
Sanji positionna ensuite ses bras de chaque côté du bassin de Zoro et saisit l'organe en début d'érection dans sa bouche, entamant la fellation.
Ainsi calé, trouvant son rythme pour les va-et-vient, il sentit une langue d'abord, puis toute une bouche avaler sa verge et là, il commença à gémir tout en suçant son bretteur.
Ce dernier n'arrêtait pas de déplacer ses mains sur le corps de Sanji : les hanches, les reins, les fesses, faisant bouger son bassin en fonction de ses va-et-vient. Chacun rivalisait d'ingéniosité pour amener l'autre au bord de la jouissance.
Le cuistot compris pourquoi Zoro lui avait demandé de se placer au-dessus de lui, c'est parce qu'il a une bonne détente, et qu'ainsi, il pourrait bouger son propre bassin de bas en haut tout en poursuivant sa fellation sur lui. Alors Sanji ne s'en priva pas, libérant ainsi les mains de l'épéiste pour qu'elles puissent fureter ailleurs sur son corps.
Pour ne pas trop s'épuiser, ils se relayaient sur les mouvements : une fois Sanji mouvait son bassin, la fois d'après Zoro reprenait ses va-et-vient.
Toujours dans l'optique de leur petit jeu à qui donnera le plus de plaisir à l'autre, Sanji entreprit de faire glisser ses mains sur le corps de son amant, histoire de pouvoir pimenter l'acte.
Pour ce faire, il opta pour une nouvelle position en s'affalant sur le torse de Zoro, le menton lui frôlant le bas-ventre pendant qu'il maintenait ses mouvements de bouche. En même temps, il écarta les jambes du bretteur, et étala ses bras dessus, frôlant cuisses et bourses de son amant du bout des doigts. Il lâcha la verge de son homme un moment pour s'occuper un peu de la périphérie : de sa langue, il lécha des bandes de peau allant des parties génitales aux genoux. Après plusieurs allers et retours, il reprit sa fellation.
Il décida ensuite de rabattre les jambes de Zoro vers lui, ce qui fit basculer le bassin du bretteur et ainsi il put atteindre l'intimité de son amant de ses doigts.
D'un geste délicat, le cuisinier caressait l'anus de l'épéiste, guettant un signe de sa part lui indiquant qu'il pouvait aller plus loin. L'homme aux cheveux verts semblait se détendre un peu plus à chaque passage des doigts de Sanji. Zoro prenait du plaisir, Sanji le sentait, alors il commença par introduire un premier doigt dans le fondement de son homme.
L'épéiste releva un peu la tête pour suivre les gestes de Sanji. Il semblait tout mettre en œuvre pour donner autant que pour recevoir. Zoro suivait attentivement ce que Sanji faisait et décida à son tour de passer à l'action. Il humidifia ses doigts et le fit parcourir le long des fesses de son amant avant de le pénétrer avec.
Ce dernier contracta ses muscles fessiers puis se détendit peu à peu, laissant Zoro commencer ses va-et-vient.
Tout en se pénétrant, ils poursuivaient leur fellation, puis arrivés au comble de la jouissance, ils finirent par éjaculer chacun dans la bouche de l'autre.
Pour autant, leur excitation n'avait pas cessé tout en gardant leurs doigts dans l'anus de l'autre, de leur main libre ils attrapèrent la verge de l'autre pour le branler, de plus en plus vite.
Sous le coup de l'intense émotion, ils commencèrent à gémir, puis se mirent à crier de plus en plus fort, sans se soucier de la gêne occasionnée dans les chambres voisines, ni du fait que tout le monde saurait ce qu'ils étaient en train de faire. Stimulés par leurs va-et-vient, ils ressentaient de plus en plus de plaisir, se déversant en eux par vagues successives.
Et pour la seconde fois après seulement quelques minutes, ils éjaculèrent dans un râle profond, illustrant leur bonheur dans l'instant.
L'intensité de leur cri était telle, que dans les trois chambres à la ronde il avait dû être entendu, ne laissant aucune équivoque quant à ce qui s'était passé cette nuit dans cette chambre.
Exténués par un tel effort, leur corps fourbu mais planant dans l'euphorie du moment, les deux hommes quittèrent leur étreinte pour se placer côte à côte, Sanji la tête posée sur le torse de Zoro qu'il embrassa sauvagement.
— Waouh ! Je pensais pas tenir la distance ! dit Sanji au bout d'une longue pause.
— Pareil pour moi, répondit Zoro, tout aussi essoufflé. Mais ravi que tu aies suivi, ajouta-t-il avec un clin-d'œil.
— Tu crois qu'on nous a entendu ? questionna Sanji.
— Le contraire m'étonnerait, on s'est déchainé, rétorqua Zoro.
Les deux hommes se regardèrent et éclatèrent de rire, puis une fois calmés, ils s'embrassèrent et s'endormirent dans les bras l'un de l'autre.
Je revins dans ma chambre et vis que tout le monde dormait. Sur la table de nuit, un réveil indiquait 4 heures du matin. Il était tant pour moi de m'endormir, la journée qui nous attendait serait chargée et riche. Entourée de tous mes hommes, je repensais à cette folle nuit où j'avais été exceptionnellement bien rassasiée.
18. Chapter 15,5
Bonsoir a tous et a toute,
Je publie avec un jour de retard mais mon beta était très occupé. Sinon j'espère que vous allez tous bien ainsi que vos familles ou vos amis où que vous soyez. Je remercie une auteur qui vit au canada et qui m'a contacté pour prendre des nouvelles de mon entourage. Ce chapitre est un OS sur un couple de ma ficition en espèrant qu'il vous plaise. Faite moi savoir ce que vous pensez de ce couple pas trop traité. Je vous souhaite une bonne lecture. A bientôt Peacecraft.
**Le docteur et l'escrimeur**
Depuis six mois, Law appartenait au corps des Shishibukai. Son nouveau statut était accompagné de devoirs envers la marine. Comme, par exemple, écouter les requêtes ou obéir aux ordres de ses officiers supérieurs. Lui qui détestait qu'on lui donne un ordre, là il était servi. Le plus jeune des Shishibukai – en âge et en titre – venait de sortir du bureau d'Akainu. Le général en chef de l'armée venait de lui assigner une mission. Trafalgar était dépité, la tâche qu'on lui avait confiée était simple, retrouver un homme qui avait volé des informations militaires. Mais son « supérieur exceptionnel » avait fortement insisté pour qu'il fasse équipe avec un autre Shishibukai. Bien entendu, le choix se posa sur le plus antipathique à son goût, l'escrimeur Mihawk. Heureusement, le faucon n'étant pas très loquace, il ne serait pas obligé de discuter.
Akainu lui avait donné une feuille de route. Law trouvait vraiment stupide de devoir faire équipe avec quelqu'un, qui plus est un autre épéiste. C'est sur ces pensées que le docteur des Hearts arriva sur son sous-marin. Son équipage l'attendait au complet sur le pont. Quand le capitaine mit un pied sur le plancher, sa mauvaise humeur se déversa sur ses compagnons. Personne n'osa poser de questions. Le brun traversa la passerelle, sans un regard à quiconque, pourtant il constata que chacun s'occupait comme il le pouvait. Alors avant d'entrer dans le vaisseau, Law tourna les talons, les dévisagea et parla de façon lente et posée.
— Je reviens de mon entretien avec Akainu. Il m'a sommé de trouver un voleur pour lui. Et pour ce faire, je devrai faire équipe exclusivement avec le Shishibukai Mihawk. Comme si j'avais besoin de lui pour ça, rechigna le capitaine d'un air méprisant. Pour couronner le tout, je ne dois amener aucun membre de mon équipage.
Des voix de protestations s'élevèrent, mais le jeune homme les coupa d'un geste de la main.
— Il suffit ! Pour l'instant, je ferai comme il désire, garder ce titre va être important pour l'avenir. Je ne ferai pas de vague. Vous allez m'accompagner jusqu'à l'île du rendez-vous pour rejoindre mon nouveau comparse. Après vous irez m'attendre sur un autre archipel.
Après ce discours, le capitaine rejoignit ses quartiers et alla mettre ses affaires en ordre pour le départ.
Mihawk venait de recevoir une lettre dans son château. Personne ne lui envoyait de lettre, sauf les marines. Que lui voulaient-ils encore ? La guerre n'avait pas suffit ? Peut-être savaient-ils qu'il hébergeait deux pirates ? Un 'Vert' et une 'Rose', comme il les avait surnommé pour lui-même. Mais jamais il n'avouerait qu'il leur avait donné un petit nom. Cela reviendrait à dire qu'il les apprécie.
Les sentiments... non ce n'est pas son truc. Pourtant, dès leur arrivée, ses pensées comme sa sensibilité avaient été chamboulées. Depuis bien longtemps, la seule émotion qu'il ressentait était l'agacement que lui inspiraient la bonne humeur légendaire de Shanks et le respect qu'il lui portait encore. Pour le reste de l'Humanité seul un grand désarroi l'habitait. Mais ces derniers temps – avec les deux jeunes qui lui servaient de colocataires – le plus grand des épéistes voyait son âme mise à rude épreuve. Il expérimentait ce qu'un père devait subir avec deux adolescents dans sa demeure.
La fille aux cheveux rose était bavarde sa voix, aigüe et criarde et par dessus tout, elle se mêlait de tout et passait son temps à se plaindre. Le garçon aux cheveux verts, lui, était renfermé, grognon, calme et ne supportait pas qu'on fasse intrusion dans sa vie. Alors, bien sûr, les deux sous un même toit cela ne faisait pas bon ménage. Ils passaient leur temps à se disputer pour un rien. Mais malgré tout, ils étaient attachants les trois quarts du temps. Grâce à eux, il se sentait moins seul. Il mangeait à sa faim, car la 'Rose' cuisinait pour eux. Elle leur servait aussi d'infirmière surtout pour le 'Vert'. Quant au jeune homme, il lui offrait un élève dévoué et un combattant qui plus tard ferait un très bon adversaire mais pour l'instant il le distrayait.
Or en cet instant, malgré tout l'intérêt qu'il leur portait, Mihawk éprouvait aussi une envie de tuer la 'Rose'. Elle n'arrêtait pas de voleter autour de lui en lui demandant de se dépêchait d'ouvrir la lettre. Pérona aussi se demandait pourquoi les marines envoyaient une lettre au Shishibukai. La 'Rose' devait autant craindre pour elle que pour le vert, car elle savait que si on lui demandait de les ramener, en tant que Shishibukai, il y serait obligé.
— Tss… Pérona ! Arrête, tu me donnes la migraine. Je vais l'ouvrir. Alors stop !
— Ok, mais dépêche-toi.
Pour toute réponse à la 'Rose', le brun ouvrit la lettre et la parcourut, puis il grogna avant de reprendre la parole :
— C'est bon, ça ne vous concerne pas. Tu n'as pas à t'inquiéter pour toi ou Roronoa.
— Bah… je m'en fous de l'autre idiot, et je n'étais pas inquiète du tout. Alors ils veulent quoi ?
— Ça ne te regarde pas.
— Mais…
— Ça suffit ! Sache juste que je dois m'absenter quelque temps pour une mission. Je vais préparer mes affaires.
Puis l'homme se leva et partit dans sa chambre pour faire son bagage et écrire ses dernières instructions pour l'homme aux trois sabres.
Une semaine était passée quand les deux Shishibukai arrivèrent sur l'île du rendez-vous. Les deux bruns se toisèrent, quand le plus jeune ouvrit la bouche :
— Tu sais, je peux m'en sortir tout seul, alors si tu veux rentrer chez toi tu peux.
— Comme si un jeune pouvait s'en sortir seul.
— C'est sûr, un vieillard comme toi, c'est mieux !
— Tu veux voir qui de nous deux est amené à se débrouiller seul ? De toute façon, maintenant que je suis là, je reste.
— Ok, et si on faisait un pari : le premier de nous deux qui arrive à l'attraper, et on verra qui de toi ou de moi sera le meilleur ?
— Pourquoi pas gamin ?
— Très bien alors allons-y le vieux.
Sur cet échange qui montrait bien leur mésentente, les deux hommes partirent en chasse. De sources sûres, ils savaient que le voleur se trouvait dans les parages.
Cela faisait des heures qu'il visitait les environs. Le capitaine des Hearts, avait pris une chambre dans un hôtel qui ne payait pas de mine, mais au moins il serait tranquille. Après avoir installé ses affaires, le jeune brun décida de visiter la ville et finit par découvrir une forêt à la sortie de la ville. Alors qu'il s'enfonçait dans les arbres, il pestait de n'avoir eu aucune information concernant le fugitif quand il était en ville, et maintenant, il se demandait s'il allait trouver des indices de son passage dans ces bois. Puis, attiré par un bruit, il se dirigea vers sa source et tomba sur son voleur.
L'homme était debout, les mains sur les hanches, riant aux éclats. Au début, il ne comprenait pas pourquoi, lorsque son œil fut attiré par un autre homme avec une épée, Mihawk ! Il se demandait comment le meilleur escrimeur du monde pouvait se trouver dans cette situation, quand il aperçut des flèches tout autour de lui. Le noiraud balaya les environs des yeux et découvrit cachés dans les arbres une multitude d'archers. Cela expliquait les flèches aux pieds du vieux, mais surtout le fait qu'il soit en mauvaise posture. En y réfléchissant bien il pourrait se débarrasser de tous les assaillants en un coup d'épée. Mais il devait éviter de le faire pour une raison ou pour une autre. Law décida alors de le sortir de là et d'arrêter le voleur et sa troupe en même temps. Cela permettra de prouver au vieux qu'il était le meilleur mais en plus il lui devrait une faveur. Il décida de se servir de son fruit du démon pour créer une room. Law bougea ses doigts pour se servir d'une technique de substitution et ainsi pouvoir se déplacer d'un endroit à l'autre. Il échangeait sa place avec des branches d'arbres se trouvant derrière ses adversaires. Il allait et venait ainsi d'un assaillant à l'autre en frappant de façon chirurgicale. Il y avait une telle agilité et une telle dextérité dans ses gestes que personne ne le vit opérer. Grace à son intervention, Mihawk fut débarrassé en un rien de temps de ses ennemis.
Mihawk était troublé après avoir enfin repéré la personne recherchée, il s'était retrouvé dans un guet-apens. Au début il pensait s'en sortir contre un seul homme, mais quand il voulut s'approchait de trop près, il reçut une pluie de flèche qu'il réussit à esquiver, sauf une qui lui entailla superficiellement l'intérieur de la cuisse. À partir de là, il se sentit mal à l'aise, sa vue se troublait et ses autres sens lui faisaient défaut. _Sans doute une flèche empoisonnée_, pensa-t-il. En d'autres circonstances, d'un seul coup d'épée il aurait tout détruit autour de lui, emportant ses assaillants sur le passage comme de simples insectes.
Mais là, tout était différent. Si ses sens le trompaient, il pourrait faire preuve de trop de force et détruire la ville qui se trouvait non loin d'eux. Alors il était là entouré de ses ennemis cachés dans les arbres, à se demander comment il allait faire pour s'en sortir quand il entendit un homme chuter du haut d'un arbre en hurlant. Ni une, ni deux, il effectua un léger mouvement dans sa direction et le tua sur le coup. Puis d'autres hommes tombèrent et il répéta à chaque fois la même action. Il sentit une main se poser sur son épaule et une voix s'éleva dans son dos :
— Alors le vieux, besoin d'aide ?
— La ferme gamin, je… Han !
— Quoi, qu'est-ce qu'il y a ?
— Les flèches… empoisonnées…
— Où ça ? fit-il en cherchant la plaie.
— Intérieur… cuisse…
— Bon, je finis le travail et je m'en occupe. Tu pourras tenir ?
— Pfff, oui…
Mihawk vit Law dégainer son nodashi et créer une room, il bougea d'abord sa main libre tout en murmurant quelques mots, puis abattit son arme. Tous les ennemis des deux Shishibukai se retrouvèrent découpés au sol. Quant au voleur qui pensait s'en sortir, le capitaine médecin l'avait fait venir à lui grâce à une technique de substitution afin de l'attacher avec une corde, et le caler sur son épaule. À ce moment-là, Mihawk aperçut le plus jeune agripper son bras pour le soutenir, alors il se dégagea en soufflant :
— Je peux marcher seul
— Ok, alors ne me retarde pas, tu seras gentil !
Mihawk détourna le regard d'un air hautain et ouvrit la marche. Il entendit le médecin ricaner en voyant son comportement, mais ne s'en formalisa pas.
Law était amusé de la situation, le plus grand épéiste du monde était là, allongé sur son lit d'hôtel. Il était empoisonné et commençait à délirer. Il se demandait si en tant que docteur il devait l'aider ou pas. Puis le doc décida de s'occuper de lui.
Le jeune brun commença par déshabiller son ainé en lui ôtant son pantalon. Il vit d'abord l'homme allongé devant lui se relever d'un bon et le repousser, puis Mihawk s'assit sur le bord du lit et voulut se lever, alors Trafalgar l'arrêta en positionnant ses mains sur ses cuisses, le regarda droit dans les yeux et il déclara d'une voix froide et posée qui ne souffrait aucun commentaire :
— Tu es blessé, voire mourant ! Alors tu ne bouges pas et tu écartes les cuisses.
Et il accompagna le geste à la parole : d'un coup sec, il écarta les cuisses de Mihawk.
— Argh ! Sois plus doux.
— Vraiment, tu veux que je sois plus doux… Comme ceci ?
Et Law se mit à caresser la cuisse de son aîné avec un sourire pervers sur les lèvres.
— Tu devrais faire attention à ce que tu fais, rétorqua Dracule en retirant la main de son cadet de sa jambe.
— Vraiment ?
— Oh que oui, tu n'as aucune idée de ce que je peux faire.
— Vraiment ?
— Oui, vraiment !
Et pour accentuer ses dires, il emprisonna d'une main ferme la mâchoire inférieure du jeunot, l'attira vers lui pour en happer les lèvres sans ménagement, puis il les lécha pour demander l'accès à sa bouche. Une fois entré, il alla jouer avec la langue de Law, et enfin, après avoir mis fin au baiser, il termina sa réplique.
— Je peux faire quelque chose dans ce genre, voire pire. Tu es vraiment à mon goût et ça fait longtemps que je n'avais pas pris du bon temps.
Law resta interloqué pendant un moment. Il regardait son aîné les yeux grand ouverts, et essayait de comprendre ce qu'il voulait dire. Jamais il n'aurait pensé que Mihawk aimait les hommes. Mais vu le baiser qu'il venait de lui donner, le doc avait bien compris que ce n'était pas que le contre coup du poison. Un poison qui ressemblait plus à un aphrodisiaque finalement qu'à un cocktail mortel.
Alors il décida de jouer un peu, puisque l'autre semblait d'humeur. Il sourit et remit sa main sur la cuisse du bretteur, glissa ses doigts le long de la plaie et sentit qu'un frisson traversait l'épiderme de son patient.
Le toubib commença à prodiguer les soins adaptés et faisait tout pour aguicher l'homme blessé, qui lui, émettait des soupirs de plaisir. Law trouvait ça amusant, même excitant. Lui qui n'avait jamais touché un autre être humain à part à travers les soins, se demandait comment c'était d'avoir un coït. Puis sans réfléchir le doc se baissa sur le pansement qu'il venait de poser et l'embrassa. Il sentit une main se glisser dans ses cheveux, l'agripper fermement, puis le relever avec force. À ce moment-là, Trafalgar croisa le regard de Dracule emplit de désir, puis l'entendit murmurer :
— Attention ne va pas trop loin ou je ne me retiendrai pas, tu pourrais ne pas trop apprécier gamin… Ou devrais-je dire puceau, n'est-ce pas ?
— Ferme-la, et lâche-moi ! ordonna-t-il.
— Pourquoi, tu as peur ? s'amusa le faucon.
— Non, pas de toi, tu es faible ! lâcha-t-il d'un ton méprisant.
— Vraiment ? susurra le plus grand épéiste du monde.
— Oui.
Pour toute réponse, Law vit son ainé les relever tous les deux, l'embrasser avec force et l'attraper sous les fesses pour le soulever. Le doc n'eut d'autre choix que de mettre ses bras autour de la nuque de Mihawk et ses jambes autour de sa taille pour ne pas tomber. Puis il sentit l'autre se retourner vers le lit sur lequel ils chutèrent, tout en continuant son baiser. À ce moment-là, son aîné sourit et reprit la parole :
— Alors c'est ta première fois ?
— Non, mentit-il.
— Menteur, je peux le sentir. Effectivement, je suis plus faible que d'habitude, mais je ne suis pas amoindri pour autant, rigola Mihawk.
— Ah ouais, alors pourquoi n'as-tu pas riposté durant le combat.
— Je suis trop puissant, un faux mouvement et j'aurais pu réduire la ville en poussière. Je ne le désirais pas.
— Alors je t'ai bien aidé, se moqua le jeune.
— Où veux-tu en venir ?
— Tu me dois une faveur, fanfaronna le doc.
— Si tu veux, je suis de bonne humeur et je sais déjà comment te payer, sourit Mihawk.
— Comment ? s'étonna Law.
— En te dépucelant, proclama Dracule.
Vlan…
— ENFOIRÉ ! hurla le plus jeune en assénant un coup de poing dans le visage au-dessus de lui.
— Si tu veux. Alors que veux-tu ? questionna l'épéiste.
— Laisse-moi te prendre, exigea le jeunot.
— Ha ha ! Comme si j'allais te laisser faire alors que tu es inexpérimenté, sais-tu au moins où il faut la mettre ?
— Je ne suis pas stupide et je suis médecin, s'insurgea le docteur et capitaine des Hearts.
— Et alors ? tu crois qu'entre la théorie et la réalité tout est pareil ?
— Non, mais pour ça oui, affirma Law.
— Ha ha ! Bien, laisse-moi réfléchir… Je te propose un marché.
— Tu me dois une faveur ! se rebella Trafalgar.
— Je te laisse la vie sauve c'est déjà suffisant.
Tout en mettant une main sur sa gorge et la resserrant, il rajouta :
— Depuis le début, tu me parles de façon arrogante, et je ne t'ai toujours pas puni pour ça. Je hais ton caractère mais je te trouve vraiment mignon alors fais-moi plaisir reste sage ou tu pourrais le regretter. Que tu le veuilles ou non, tu es à ma merci. Même affaibli, je reste le plus fort de nous deux. Hé hé ! Mais je n'ai pas envie de te faire mal bien au contraire, souffla-t-il à son oreille.
Law vit le sourire de prédateur sur le visage de son partenaire et ne put que déglutir – autant de peur, que parce que la main de l'autre Shishibukai se resserrait peu à peu autour de son cou – avant de répondre :
— Et quel est ce marché ?
— Une partie de jambe en l'air en deux parties, je t'apprends et après je te laisse faire. Tu pourras me prendre. Tu en penses quoi ?
— Ok.
_Ai-je vraiment le choix, _pensa Law.
Puis, comme pour sceller un pacte, Law retira délicatement la main qui lui enserrait le cou, se releva un peu pour atteindre les lèvres de Mihawk, et l'embrassa délicatement pour montrer sa soumission.
Il aperçut le sourire ravi de son futur amant. C'est la première fois qu'il vit un tel sourire se dessiner sur son visage et le trouva ravissant. Lui qui voulait juste s'amuser venait d'être pris dans ses filets. Mais contre toute attente ça ne lui déplaisait pas.
Le plus âgé des shishibukais était heureux. Lui qui pensait s'ennuyer avec cette chasse, voilà qu'elle lui apportait sur un plateau un nouveau jouet ! Et il comptait bien en profiter.
Mihawk dévora des yeux son futur amant, il le trouvait parfait. Un homme intelligent, fort – même s'il ne le lui dirait jamais – et d'une grande beauté à ses yeux, avec un visage fin mais dur et un corps élancé.
Il comptait bien prendre tout son temps pour explorer le corps de son amant. En fait, Dracule ne pensait pas éprouver un tel désir pour quelqu'un. Plus il l'observait et plus il voulait le posséder. Alors l'épéiste changea complètement d'approche, enserrant l'homme sous lui dans ses bras de façon plus douce afin de l'installer plus confortablement sur le matelas. Puis retenant toute son ardeur, il caressa tendrement la joue du jeune homme, et tout en frôlant ses lèvres des siennes, il lui chuchota :
— Ne t'inquiète pas, je serai doux. Je ne suis pas une brute au lit.
Et comme pour appuyer ses propos, Mihawk présenta un large sourire doux et rassurant. Law n'eut pas le temps de répondre que déjà son amant l'embrassait à nouveau tendrement, jouant de sa langue dans la bouche de Trafalgar. Les deux hommes émettaient des soupirs de plaisir, ce qui rassura le plus âgé des deux.
Alors Dracule prit la décision d'aller plus loin, délaissant la bouche pour le cou de Law, là où se trouvait encore l'empreinte de ses doigts il murmura :
— Pardon… j'y suis allé un peu fort, mais je vais te faire oublier ça, promis.
Mihawk poursuivit ses baisers le long du cou de son jeune amant, descendant jusqu'à sa clavicule, prenant tout son temps pour que Trafalgar se sente en confiance.
De la pulpe de ses doigts, il caressa les flancs du corps qui se dessinait sous lui, prenant plaisir à cette découverte, ressentant chacun des frissons qui parcouraient ce corps. Tout en poursuivant son exploration par la bouche et par les mains, Mihawk entreprit de retirer délicatement son pull au jeune homme pour voir apparaître sous ses yeux un buste magnifiquement sculpté. L'aîné des Shishibukai n'en revenait pas de voir un tel torse.
Il s'occupa dans un premier temps des aréoles de son amant ils les voyaient poindre au fur et à mesure qu'il les léchait et les mordillait, puis quand elles furent bien dressées, il commença à les pincer tendrement entre ses pouces et ses index. Il sentait Law qui se courbait de plaisir. Certes, le poison qu'on lui avait inoculé avait peut-être un effet aphrodisiaque, mais en ce moment, seul comptait l'effet qu'il procurait à l'homme sur lequel il était allongé : les soupirs de plaisir qu'il émettait valaient tous les médicaments pour le soigner.
Mihawk fit alors glisser ses mains le long du torse de son amant pour atteindre l'entre-jambe de ce dernier d'instinct, Trafalgar ramena son bassin vers le haut de façon à ce que ces mains le touchent bien, puis écarta les cuisses afin que Dracule ait tout l'espace nécessaire pour bien se positionner. Ce dernier sourit et n'hésita pas un instant de plus : sans un bruit, il se dirigea vers le sexe turgescent de son jeune amant et l'embrassa plusieurs fois à travers le pantalon.
Son amant grognait de satisfaction, et Mihawk se disait que le message était suffisamment clair : il finit d'enlever le pantalon et le caleçon du docteur, embrassa à nouveau son sexe, le lécha de haut en bas, puis entreprit de lui sucer le gland. Le râle de plaisir provenant du jeune homme lui fit comprendre qu'il pouvait aller plus avant dans ses investigations. Il goba la verge de Law et ses va-et-vient firent gémir son amant.
Dans leur chambre, raisonnaient les cris de jouissance de Law et de Mihawk qui poursuivait sa fellation sur le pénis de son amant.
Dracule en était ravi. Il prolongeait ses caresses partout où il le pouvait sur le corps du jeune docteur : son torse, ses cuisses, ses mollets, etc chaque parcelle de peau qui recouvrait le corps de Trafalgar passerait sous ses doigts, il n'en saurait être autrement.
Puis son amant commença à bredouiller quelques paroles :
— Huuum… je, huuuumm… j'en peux plus… Haaaa, je vais venir, huuuum…
Alors l'épéiste cessa sa fellation et attrapa le membre tendu à pleine main puis murmura à l'oreille deson partenaire :
— Essaie de tenir encore un peu, s'il te plaît.
— Je… vais… essayer, répondit essoufflé le docteur.
Cette réponse semblait satisfaire Mihawk. Il lâcha à nouveau la verge de son amant pour aller glisser ses mains sous les cuisses de ce dernier et lui soulever les jambes. Ensuite, il tenta d'accéder jusqu'à son anus et de sa langue, commença à l'exciter : les effets étaient au-delà de toute espérance à voir les soubresauts de Law à chaque passage de sa langue !
Pour le quadragénaire, c'était une aubaine d'être tombé sur un véritable puceau, aussi se devait-il d'être à la hauteur de la tâche !
Après avoir bien humidifié la partie anale de son amant, il requit l'intervention de ce dernier pour lui lécher les doigts.
Une fois fait, il introduisit un premier doigt dans l'anus de Law, tout en douceur pour qu'il s'habitue, avec de légers va-et-vient.
Le docteur commença lentement à se détendre, alors Mihawk entreprit d'introduire un deuxième puis un troisième doigt dans l'anus de son amant.
Tout en maintenant ses va-et-vient dans l'anus de Law, Mihawk reprit la masturbation de la verge du jeune homme, doucement, dans un rythme presque synchrone. Trafalgar poussait de petits gémissements qui indiquèrent à Dracule qu'il pouvait passer à l'étape suivante.
D'une main, il masturbait son amant tandis que de l'autre, il délaissa l'anus au profit de sa propre verge qu'il astiqua rapidement avant de pénétrer Law.
D'un œil, il guettait une quelconque réaction de Law de l'autre, il veillait à le pénétrer tout en délicatesse, continuant d'une part à le masturber et d'autre part l'embrassant pour qu'il se concentre sur autre chose que la douleur qu'il pourrait ressentir au moment de l'acte. Quand il vit que Law semblait prêt, il s'exécuta de va-et-vient tout en douceur – une véritable torture pour Mihawk, lui qui désirait tant posséder cet amant inattendu.
Dracule comprit rapidement que Trafalgar éprouvait du plaisir, aussi accentua-t-il peu à peu ses mouvements, arrêtant de le masturber pour partir à la recherche de son point le plus sensible.
Après une courte exploration, l'escrimeur finit par le trouver et exerça dessus une forte pression qui fit crier de plus en plus le docteur de plaisir.
Assis sur le lit, Mihawk agrippait bien les hanches de Law et opérait un mouvement vertical avec le corps de ce dernier le long de son propre sexe. En même temps, il maintenait ses pressions pour bien faire jouir son amant.
Voir le visage de cet homme déformé à la fois par le plaisir et le désir l'amusait et le stimulait déjà beaucoup mais quand il le supplia presque comme dans un dernier râle d'y aller encore plus fort, Dracule ne se le fit pas dire deux fois et accentua davantage ses coups de butoir.
Dans le même temps, il empoigna à nouveau la verge de son amant pour la masturber et là Law gémit encore plus fort :
— Han ! Han ! Hmmmm ! Hmmmmm ! Han ! Han !
À l'entendre gémir ainsi, Mihawk en devenait presque fou. Il finit par perdre tout contrôle et jouit dans son homme :
— Haaa… Haaaan !
Dans la foulée, Law jouit à son tour dans la main de Mihawk et entre leur deux torses.
L'escrimeur lâcha le pénis de son homme pour resserrer son étreinte sur lui, suffisamment fort pour que le contact de leur peau leur procure encore quelques frissons.
Les deux hommes reprenaient leur souffle quand Mihawk saisit le visage de Law pour venir lui happer les lèvres. Ce baiser plein de fougue éveillait des choses en Mihawk. N'y tenant plus, il allongea à nouveau son amant sur le lit et vint se positionner au-dessus de lui.
Il ne savait plus où donner de la tête tellement ses idées se bousculaient pour pouvoir le garder, cette idée en particulier l'obnubilait; et il saurait faire comprendre à cet amant d'un soir qu'il ne souhaite plus le voir partir…
Cela faisait une semaine qu'il était à Kuraigana avec le maître des lieux. Après avoir capturé le voleur, ils avaient couché ensemble, et ce qui ne devait être que le coup d'une nuit devint une installation en couple.
Là, il était dans le lit de son petit-ami. Il se souvint de leur première nuit, alors que Mihawk lui avait promis qu'ils échangeraient leur position de _sème_ et _uke_ durant la nuit, mais lui s'était endormi juste après avoir fait l'amour, trop exténué par le sport en chambre.
Le lendemain, alors qu'il allait lui faire savoir qu'il voulait lui aussi être le _sème_, il vit Dracule mettre un doigt sur sa bouche et venir lui murmurer à l'oreille :
— Viens avec moi à Kuraigana quelque temps. Je te promets de tenir notre engagement, je serai tout à toi. Tu pourras me faire tout ce que tu désires.
Law avait juste sourit et bougé sa tête de façon affirmative. Au fond, il pouvait s'offrir des vacances et son équipage saurait se débrouillait encore un peu tout seul.
De son côté, pour s'assurer une certaine tranquillité, Mihawk avait expédié la 'Rose' et son acolyte aux cheveux verts en mission à durée indéterminée pour son compte – une histoire montée de toute pièce, mais au moins ils auraient la paix pendant un temps et surtout Law et le second de Luffy n'auraient pas à se croiser.
Ils étaient donc sur l'île de Dracule, à passer de bons moments ensemble, tant apaisants que musclés.
Law fut surpris de voir comment Mihawk pouvait être très changeant en fonction des situations : autant il pouvait être borné, froid et distant, autant il savait être doux, chaleureux et ne rechignait jamais à échanger leur place de _sème_ et _uke_.
Cependant, la veille, quelque chose de bizarre s'était passé et Trafalgar avait comme un mauvais pressentiment. Hier soir encore, Dracule l'avait amené au restaurant, et comme à chaque fois on les dévisageait à chacun de leur passage, on parlait sous cape à leur propos, néanmoins leur statut et leur renommée les protégeaient de toutes attaques.
Mais en revenant des toilettes à la fin du repas, tout avait changé. Drac, comme il le surnommait, ne souriait plus, il était redevenu froid et distant et n'avait plus aucune attention envers lui.
Chemin faisant pour pour rentrer chez Mihawk, Law avait essayé d'obtenir une explication sur ce changement de comportement subit, mais tout ce qu'il obtint fut une nuit d'extase absolue : une fois arrivés dans la chambre, Dracule empoigna Trafalgar avec une telle fermeté pour le plaquer sur le lit, que ce dernier ne chercha même pas à se défendre. Mihawk lui fit l'amour toute la nuit, comme si c'était la dernière fois qu'ils se voyaient. Law ne s'en plaignit pas car il avait pu entrevoir ainsi toute la passion et tout l'amour que lui portait son amant.
Le jeune Shishibukai pensait en effet qu'ils devenaient de plus en plus amoureux l'un de l'autre à chaque jour qu'ils passaient ensemble.
Pourtant au réveil ce matin, ou plus exactement ce midi, Law sentait que le vent avait tourné. Il se leva tranquillement et se prépara pour rejoindre son aimé dans la salle de restaurant.
À présent, non seulement il était capable de se déplacer les yeux fermés dans le château de Dracule, mais de plus il connaissait bien les habitudes de son propriétaire. À cette heure-ci, le maître de maison ne pouvait se trouver que dans la salle de restaurant.
Il fut donc surpris en descendant l'escalier de le voir faire le pied de grue devant les portes de la demeure, un sac à ses pieds. Un sac qui lui appartenait à lui, Trafalgar Law.
Il n'avait pas fait attention plutôt que ses affaires avaient disparu de la chambre, et que seul étaient restés les vêtements qu'il portait en cet instant.
Trafalgar s'avança vers Drac qui prit son sac et le lui jeta dans les bras en l'informant :
— Ton équipage vient d'arriver, ils sont sur la plage. Va les rejoindre et part, lui ordonna Mihawk d'une voix froide.
— Heu ! que… Quoi ! Mais… s'écria Law, surpris et déboussolé par l'attitude de son amant.
— J'ai dit : « Va-t'en d'ici maintenant » !
— Mais pourquoi ? Comment se fait-il que mon équipage soit là ? Pourquoi veux-tu que je parte si précipitamment ? interrogea le docteur.
— Je ne veux plus de toi. J'ai fait venir ton équipage pour que tu partes plus vite, répondit Mihawk.
— Tu te fous de moi ? Avec la façon dont tu m'as fait l'amour cette nuit, s'écria le capitaine des Hearts.
— C'était une erreur visiblement, pars à présent.
— Pas sans une explication ! Et tu m'en dois une ! ordonna t-il.
— Je ne te dois rien, siffla l'escrimeur.
Contre tout attente Trafalgar avança droit sur Dracule le prit par le col et lui dit :
— Oh que si sale enfoiré, tu ne me foutras pas dehors sans une bonne excuse, je n'ai rien fait de mal alors je veux savoir. Et ne viens pas me dire que tu ne veux plus de moi, car ça je n'y crois pas.
— Tu…
— Oui ?
— Tu… n'es QU'UN GAMIN, hurla Dracule hors de lui.
— Quoi ?
— On a dix-sept ans de différence.
— Et ?
— Et, je pourrais être ton père, insinua Mihawk.
— Et alors, où est le problème ? Tu m'aimes, non ? questionna Trafalgar.
— Le problème c'est ce que les gens disent… les apparences.
— Parce que tu te fis aux apparences toi maintenant ? Ça ne t'a pas beaucoup gêné jusqu'à maintenant ?
— Pour ça oui ! Et puis je suis vieux, tu le dis toi-même… Tu partiras forcément un jour voir ailleurs, alors je préfère te rendre ta liberté tout de suite…
— Avant que ça ne soit trop dur pour toi, termina Law sur un ton moqueur. C'est ce que tu as entendu hier au resto qui t'as fait te fermer comme une huître ? Comment peux-tu seulement y faire cas ? Tu te caches derrière de faux prétextes et ça te fait peur d'assumer tes sentiments ! Mais moi je m'en fous de ce qu'on peut dire sur nous, ajouta-t-il d'un ton plus rassurant.
— Ça n'a rien avoir avec ça, tu n'es qu'un gamin c'est tout. Et je ne veux pas d'un enfant dans mes pattes.
— Très bien, je comprends.
Suite à cette dernière remarque de la part de l'escrimeur quadragénaire, le capitaine des Hearts lâcha le col de son ex-petit ami. Il le gratifia de l'un de ses plus beaux sourires avant de lui coller un coup de poing mémorable en plein visage et de lui lancer en quittant le château :
— Au plaisir de ne jamais te revoir enculé. Je hais les trouillards qui écoutent les qu'en-dira-t-on et ne se fient qu'aux apparences.
Fou de rage, Law se dirigea vers son sous-marin.
Une fois à bord, il n'adressa qu'une seule phrase à ses hommes :
— Partons avant que je ne m'énerve vraiment contre ce sale type !
L'équipage obtempéra et le laissa s'enfermer dans sa cabine sans poser de question.
Ce jour-là, personne ne vit les deux hommes s'adosser aux portes de leur antre, pour pleurer en silence la douleur qu'ils ressentaient.
En son for intérieur, Law hurlait de rage d'avoir été rejeté pour des bêtises et – les larmes aux yeux –, il se promit de lui prouvait un jour qu'il n'était pas un gamin !
De son côté, Mihawk déplorait d'avoir été si pleutre devant l'amour qu'il ressentait au fond de lui pour Law. Il savait que Trafalgar avait raison, mais il ne pouvait pas allait contre sa peur. Aussi espérait-il qu'un jour, il le retrouverait et serait à même d'accepter les choses et de se faire pardonner.
— « _Un jour peut-être_ » pensèrent-ils tous les deux.
19. Chapter 16
Bonsoir,
Je vous remercie de me suivre. Le chapitre d'avant a était très lu et je vous en remercie. J'espère que ce chapitre vous plaira tout autant. Petit chapitre sans prétention avant un nouveau chapitre plein de rebondissements. Bonne lecture. Peacecraft.
**Chapitre 16 : Premier jour du sommet **
Je me levai en pleine forme vers huit heures du matin, après seulement quatre heures de sommeil. Je me dirigeai vers la salle de bain pour me préparer et ensuite aller déjeuner.
Comme tout le monde dormait encore dans la chambre, je descendis seule. J'avais décidé de ne pas les réveiller, le sommet ne commençait que l'après-midi, donc ils pouvaient prendre leur matinée.
De plus, ce matin, on allait accueillir et installer les derniers arrivants. Je n'avais pas réellement besoin d'eux. Avant de sortir, je repris l'apparence d'Apo – tout en gardant ma personnalité –, et je redevins ainsi la Reine aux yeux de tous.
Dans la salle du petit-déjeuner, je vis que presque tous les arrivants étaient là. La matinée serait donc tranquille, il suffirait juste que je me présente à chacun d'eux.
Dans un coin, je vis Nami lire son journal devant un café. Je souris en voyant qu'à part Robin et Dragon, aucun couple n'était descendu. Pas même Sanji pour préparer le petit déjeuner de ses déesses. Zoro avait dû lui rappeler qu'ils étaient à l'hôtel, qu'il pouvait faire une grasse matinée dans ses bras et après cette nuit il n'avait pas dû se faire prier.
Je m'avançais donc pour saluer l'assistance et me faire connaître auprès des nouveaux arrivants :
— Bonjour tout le monde, j'espère que vous avez bien dormi. Je suis la reine Hinata votre hôtesse. Je vous remercie d'avoir répondu à mon appel.
Tout le monde me regarda ahuri par ma prestation ceux qui me connaissaient se mirent à rire doucement.
— Chut ! Pas si fort, me réprimanda Aokiji en arrivant derrière moi suivi de Smoker. Les Tenryubitos sont à côté, s'ils t'entendent parler ainsi aux gens du peuple que vont-ils penser ?
— Et alors ? Qu'est-ce que j'en ai à foutre. Je suis la Reine, je parle comme je veux à qui je veux. Comme si je leur devais des explications. Eux par contre ils vont m'en devoir pour Benjamin. Hier soir j'ai rien dit, mais ce matin c'est autre chose. D'ailleurs, où sont-ils ? Que je leur dise ce que je pense de leur petit jeu d'hier soir !
— Ah non, s'insurgea Smoker. Nous on se retient, alors tu fais pareil ! On n'en pense pas moins, mais on a pris une décision alors on s'y tient !
— Haha ! Je vous ai fait flipper hein ? Mais je ne suis pas folle, je sais ce que je fais. Alors laissez-moi agir, les gars. Merci pour cette nuit, j'ai bien bouffé !
J'entendis mes amis rire, car ils savaient de quoi je parlais. Les autres étaient horrifiés par mon attitude, j'étais la Reine et je parlais comme une roturière qui vit dans la rue. Aokiji, Smoker, Dragon et Robin se mirent à rougir à mes dires. Puis je repris :
— Bon, sans rire, Dragon, Robin merci à vous aussi pour cette nuit. Je n'ai aucun problème avec vous. Robin est mon amie. Alors toi – fis-je à Dragon – si tu la blesses t'auras à faire à moi, c'est clair ?
Je le vis hocher la tête de façon affirmative dans un grand sourire.
— Bonjour à tous, bonjour mes déesses, salua Sanji en entrant dans la salle en regardant toutes les femmes, les yeux en cœur.
— Haaa ! Les hommes de ma vie et de ma nuit. Merci vous êtes les meilleurs. Arriver à réveiller six chambres à quatre heures du matin c'est merveilleux !
— Tu parles ! Vous deux, la prochaine fois que vous me réveillez si tôt par vos cris, je vous jure que je vous tue. Je rentre dans votre chambre et je vous massacre quoi que vous fassiez. De plus, je n'ai pas pu me rendormir, et maintenant j'ai des cernes, s'énerva Nami.
— Oh pardon ma Nami chéri. Je ferai tout ce que tu voudras pour me faire pardonner. Je te cuisinerai tes plats préférés. Dis-moi ce que tu veux ? À vous aussi Robin d'amour et Hinata hime.
— Hinata hime ? J'aime bien Sanji chan. Je devrais dire _kun_, mais je préfère _chan_ si ça ne te dérange pas ?
— Pas le moins du monde, Hinata hime, comme tu voudras. Alors, Nami chérie ?
— Je sais ! Je double la dette de Zoro, dit Nami d'un air triomphant.
— URUSEI ! Ça va pas sorcière ! De plus, c'est le Love Cook qui a crié le plus fort. C'est à lui de te rembourser si ça l'amuse, mais moi je te dois rien du tout.
— Zoro, cria Sanji. Combien de fois je t'ai dit de ne pas parler ainsi à Nami chérie, ni à aucune autre femme.
— Rien à foutre, je n'ai pas ton esprit chevaleresque. Moi, quand on m'emmerde, peu importe si c'est une femme ou un homme, je réponds.
— Mais… commença Sanji.
— ÇA SUFFIT ! criais-je. Vous êtes fatigants ! Zoro, fais un effort avec les femmes pour faire plaisir à Sanji, s'il te plaît. Et toi Sanji, essaie de comprendre Zoro. Tu te souviens de ce que sa meilleure amie Kuina m'a dit sur ton homme ?
— Kuina ? me reprit Sanji en réfléchissant.
— Oui, quand je t'ai montré mon passé, rappelle-toi de ma discussion avec la jeune fille fantôme que pleurait Zoro. Elle a déclaré qu'après un combat ton compagnon lui a dit : « _que j'aie un homme ou une femme devant moi, peu m'importe car à mes yeux ce sont les capacités qui comptent »._ Il ne fait donc pas de distinction de sexe. Par ailleurs, c'est pour m'aider qu'ils ont crié, donc c'est à moi de payer la dette de Zoro en entier, dis-je à Nami.
— T'es pas obligée, fit Zoro.
— C'est vrai, mais ça me fait plaisir. D'une certaine façon, tu garderas moins de rancœur envers Nami, et Sanji n'en sera que plus heureux. Quant à toi Sanji, il faut également que tu acceptes les points de vue de Zoro. Être en couple, c'est aussi faire des concessions, pensez-y. Nous sommes tous d'accord ?
Les trois me regardèrent et firent oui de la tête, l'air satisfait.
— Bien, cela étant réglé, je vais à présent voir les Tenryubitos. Aokiji, Smoker, vous venez avec moi ?
— Oui, répondirent les deux hommes.
— Trop forte, cria Luffy en se jetant dans mes bras. Je t'aime grande sœur, t'es vraiment impressionnante. Dès le matin, tu règles tous les problèmes sans t'énerver. En empêchant toutes dispute et bagarre ce qui est dommage, j'aime bien les voir se battre.
— Ah oui ? Tu as raison, ils sont très doués pour ça aussi.
Je sentis les deux hommes rougir et les autres rire sous cape. Seul Luffy n'avait pas compris, comme d'habitude.
— Je ne savais pas que notre Reine était une perverse et une voyeuse, fit Zoro sur un air nonchalant.
— Haha ! Plus que tu ne l'imagines, fit une voix à la porte de la salle.
— Cro ! sifflais-je entre mes dents.
Je vis qu'il n'était pas seul, tous mes hommes étaient là, apprêtés : ils étaient tous magnifiques.
— Pourquoi ne pas être restés au lit ? Je vous aurais fait monter de quoi manger… Bon, je vais aller voir les Tenryubitos qui mangent à côté et après on prend le déjeuner ensemble. Surtout, évitez-les jusqu'à ce que le sommet commence. Après ça devrait aller mieux.
— C'est d'accord, répondirent-ils en chœur, puis ils se jetèrent dans mes bras et m'embrassèrent chacun sur une joue.
— Ils sont avec moi, personne ne les touchera, me dit Cro en les attrapant par le cou et les amenant vers son torse. T'inquiète, personne ne me les enlèvera.
— Ok, répondis-je dans un grand sourire.
Puis j'allai saluer les Tenryubitos pour discuter avec eux des préparatifs de la réception de l'après-midi et ainsi régler les derniers détails. Je revins ensuite déjeuner avec mes hommes et en profitai pour rencontrer tout le monde. J'accueillis les derniers participants, tout semblait bien se passer. J'eus même un moment de bonheur quand l'impératrice Boa Hancock arriva, car dès qu'elle vit Luffy, elle alla le demander en mariage. Alors que tout le monde s'attendait à son « Non ! » habituel, il la regarda droit dans les yeux, prit son air le plus sérieux possible et énonça :
— Hancock, tu es mon amie et je te respecte. Si tu as besoin de moi, je serais là. Hinata m'a appris plein de chose comme l'importance des relations entre les gens. J'ai aussi vu ce que les hommes peuvent faire de pire à une femme et je ne serai pas ce genre d'homme. Nous deux, on vit dans un autre monde, nos connaissances sont réduites. Alors je vais être franc avec toi. Je ne te répondrai pas maintenant. Je ne sais pas ce que demain nous réserve, mais je sais une chose, je vais devenir le Roi des Pirates. Et quand j'aurai réalisé mon rêve, alors je penserai peut-être à me marier et à fonder une famille. Je ne sais pas si tu pourras m'attendre jusque là, mais repose-moi la question à ce moment-là et je saurai alors te répondre.
Puis se tournant vers moi, il ajouta :
— Je ferais les choses bien pour que tu sois fière de moi.
— Je le suis déjà. Tu es pour moi le seul à pouvoir devenir le Roi des Pirates. Tu lui ressembles tant. Oui, toi et Shanks vous êtes bien les héritiers de Gold D. Roger et comme Shanks est Empereur, tu peux être Roi, répondis-je en riant.
Ma réplique fit rire tout le monde et Luffy en profita pour se jeter dans mes bras, heureux de ce que j'avais dit. Les marines étaient outrés de voir son comportement envers moi, tandis que les Tenryubitos, eux, firent une remarque comme quoi j'avais trouvé un bon chien de compagnie. Luffy essaya alors d'imiter sans grand succès un canidé. Daz en profita alors pour lui faire un cours sur l'attitude et l'allure qu'auraient à tenir des chiens ou des loups en présence d'une Reine. Le repas se déroula dans une ambiance bon enfant.
Vers deux heures de l'après-midi, le sommet commença. Selon mes instructions, la plus grande salle de l'hôtel avait été réservée, diverses tables de tailles et de formes différentes y avaient été installées et regroupées pour former un rond biseauté. Nous étions loin d'être tous égaux autours d'elle, mais c'était déjà ça.
Tout le monde s'installa, chaque personne représentant une faction pouvait être accompagnée de deux personnes. Luffy avait choisi Robin et Nami, je les regardais s'installer tous les trois Cro était avec Daz Shanks avec Ben et Yassop Dragon était entouré d'Emporio Ivankov et Inazuma, échappés d'Impel Down. Sabo, le frère de cœur de Luffy, viendrait peut-être les rejoindre.
Une ancienne amie de Luffy vint aussi, la princesse Vivi d'Alabasta, que la présence de Cro dérangeait. Même si tout le monde avait essayé de la rassurer.
Les Tenryubitos restèrent debout et l'un d'eux prit la parole :
— Ma Reine, veuillez m'excuser mais… vous ne comptez pas qu'on s'asseye avec les gens du peuple, si ?
— Eh bien si, nous sommes là pour ça.
— Nous ne pouvons, nous sommes…
— Je sais, le coupais-je. Je sais qui vous êtes, croyez moi j'en ai la pleine mesure. Mais le Roi et moi-même, votre Reine, ne vous laissons que deux solutions. Soit vous vous asseyez et participez au sommet. Soit vous rentrez chez vous en me laissant votre vote ou à ceux qui resteront.
— Vous ne pouvez pas faire ça, nous sommes…
— Je suis la Reine, je peux tout faire, même vous faire arrêter pour outrage à ma personne.
— Comment osez-vous ? Notre sang !
— Ici, c'est moi qui ai le sang le plus pur, si c'est ce à quoi vous pensez ?
— Le vôtre a été sali par…
— IL SUFFIT ! Voulez-vous vraiment qu'on parle de nos ascendants, réfléchissez bien à ça ?
— Pardon, je ne voulais pas vous insulter, ni insulter la lignée des Rois.
— Je préfère ! Bien, que décidez-vous ?
Ils se regardèrent et me répondirent :
— Nous rentrons tous, vous n'aurez qu'à faire ce que bon vous semble. De toute façon c'est ce que vous aviez prévu.
— Messieurs, veuillez m'excuser de ne pas vous raccompagner.
Ils me sourirent amèrement en partant puis l'homme se retourna, vit Quatre ainsi que Benjamin s'installer, il leur demanda :
— Comte Quatre, Benjamin que faites-vous ? On rentre.
— Pardon – rétorqua Quatre en se relevant, tout en posant une main sur l'épaule de Benjamin pour qu'il ne bouge pas –, mais nous sommes les représentants du roi, nous ne pouvons partir. Ordre du roi : « _Rester et soutenir la reine_ ».
— Je comprends, à bientôt.
— Oui au plaisir, répondit Quatre.
Mais sa voix trahissait la haine qu'il portait à cet homme alors qu'il se voulait le plus neutre et le plus poli possible.
— Bien, fis-je quand ils eurent tous quitté la pièce. Maintenant que nous sommes tous là, on va commencer. Mais avant ça, comme il y a davantage de places à présent, rapprochez-vous.
Les pirates se déplacèrent, certains firent des remarques à Quatre et Benjamin. Alors que je vis Shanks et Cro se lever, deux hommes s'assirent autour des garçons.
— Désolé mais j'ai pas trouvé d'endroit où faire ma sieste. Puis je dormir ici ? demanda Zoro en s'installant à coté de Benjamin.
Il mit ses pieds sur la table et joua avec ses trois épées, son corps faisait barrière entre le jeune homme à côté de lui et les autres pirates qui se turent en le voyant prendre ses aises. De plus son sourire n'avait rien d'amical.
— Moi, je n'y vois aucun problème, répondit Sanji. Il regarda Quatre avant de le questionner. Puis-je m'installer à vos côtés Comte ? Je suis fatigué d'avoir eu à faire à manger pour autant de personnes. J'aimerais me reposer aussi et me griller une cigarette si vous n'y voyez pas d'inconvénient ?
— Non avec plaisir, c'est la moindre des choses après le fabuleux repas que vous nous avez offert.
— Merci Comte, répondit Sanji dans un grand sourire.
Il s'assit près de Quatre, mit aussi ses pieds sur la table. Un pirate allait bouger, alors il enflamma sa jambe. Tous les pirates à côté de lui reculèrent. Sanji reprit la parole :
— Oh pardonnez-moi messieurs, je ne voulais pas vous faire peur. J'avais mal au pied et le réchauffer me fait du bien.
Il désenflamma sa jambe, après avoir allumé une cigarette avec. Le blond bascula sa tête vers l'arrière en happant sa première bouffée et termina son discours :
— Je promets de faire attention à ne pas vous brûler, si vous ne vous approchez pas trop de mes jambes.
Les hommes se rassirent ainsi que Shanks. Cro resta debout et me regarda.
— Puis-je dire un mot avant de commencer ? me demanda-t-il.
Je confirmai d'un hochement de tête, puis il se tourna vers Vivi.
— Voilà. Avant tout, je voulais m'excuser auprès de vous Princesse Vivi ainsi qu'auprès de votre peuple. Je sais que m'excuser ne ramènera pas les morts, ni n'effacera la douleur qu'a subi votre peuple. Mais je voulais vous le dire pour que vous compreniez que je ne suis plus votre ennemi.
— Je comprends, répondit Vivi. Cela n'effacera rien, mais je vous remercie de l'avoir exprimé ainsi. Mes amis m'ont affirmé que vous aviez un peu changé. J'imagine qu'ils ont raison, mais pour être franche je ne vous fais pas confiance.
— Vous avez raison. Je ne vous en demande pas autant, ni de me pardonner. Je voulais juste que ça soit dit. Je veux juste qu'on parte sur de meilleures bases pour cette discussion et que le passé reste derrière et n'entre pas en compte.
— Il fait ça pour nous deux, dis-je. Vous et moi Princesse. Je lui ai expliqué qu'une Reine se doit d'être impartiale, qu'elle doit faire des sacrifices pour le bien de son peuple. Sa prise de parole n'a d'autre but que de vous aider à accepter sa présence et que vous puissiez ainsi vous exprimer en toute franchise durant nos débats à venir. De plus il regrette vraiment, mais je comprends votre méfiance. Si tout le monde est d'accord nous allons commencer maintenant.
— Oui, fit l'assemblée.
— Merci, fis-je à Cro qui me sourit en répondant « De rien ».
Je repris la parole pour expliquer en quoi consistait le sommet. L'après-midi se passa bien, car tout le monde joua le jeu en expliquant comment ils voyaient leur gouvernement. Chacun s'exprimait de façon claire, concise pour certains, d'autres paraissaient plus confus, toutefois de bonnes idées commençaient à émerger. Cela permit d'avoir une première vue d'ensemble du caractère et du tempérament de chacun des convives. Nous allions ainsi savoir très vite qui serait apte à gouverner.
Aucun incident majeur fut à déplorer, et vers six heures du soir, après quatre heures de débat, nous décidâmes d'arrêter pour la journée et de reprendre le lendemain matin à huit heures.
Après avoir informé tout le monde que je redescendrai pour le dîner vers huit heures, je me hâtai vers ma chambre. J'avais de quoi travailler vu tout ce que j'avais entendu. Après deux bonnes heures de travail où j'avais mis au propre toutes mes notes, puis fait mon rapport au Roi, je me dirigeai vers la salle de restaurant.
Quand j'arrivai, Shanks et Cro me hélèrent pour que je vienne m'asseoir à leur table, alors j'allai m'installer avec eux.
— Bien travaillé ? me demanda Cro.
— Oui j'ai bien avancé, merci. Avant que j'oublie, Quatre, Benjamin vous avez le bonjour de Grégory. Je sais, j'aurais dû vous le passer mais il était pressé et moi aussi, demain soir promis.
— Oui, me firent les garçons.
— Mais il allait bien ? me demanda Benjamin.
— Ouais, il s'ennuie tout seul dans son grand château, raillais-je.
— Ne te moque pas de lui, ni de moi s'il te plaît, me demanda-t-il en faisant la moue.
— Pardon, je ne voulais pas. Il va bien. Mais il avait l'air contrarié, la réunion de cet après-midi, n'a pas était une réussite. Malgré tout, il était ravi d'apprendre qu'on avait libéré 180 esclaves. Il les récupère demain. Il te félicite et te demande pardon pour tout.
— Merci, ce qui compte c'est que demain il les libèrera et ils seront envoyés dans des orphelinats pour apprendre une vie d'Homme libre, me répondit-il en souriant.
— Et voilà, le repas est servi ! fit Sanji.
Sanji – qui donnait un coup de main en cuisine – s'était encore surpassé, les plus goinfres d'entre nous en furent ravis. Vers dix heures du soir, le repas se termina et je décidai d'aller finir de travailler.
— Je peux t'accompagner ? me demanda Shanks.
— Heu oui bien sûr, répondis-je troublée.
— J'aimerais qu'on parle si ça te dérange pas ? continua-t-il.
— J'imagine que je serai de trop ? fit Cro, en tendant un petit paquet à Shanks. Il rajouta :
— N'oublie pas de l'utiliser !
— Que ? Qu'est-ce que c'est ? interrogea Shanks.
— Haha ! Si tu ne sais pas ce que c'est, c'est que ça fait vraiment longtemps que tu n'as pas pris de bon temps avec une femme, rigola Cro.
— Cro, sifflais-je.
Mais il sortait déjà du restaurant.
Je pris alors Shanks par le bras et je l'entrainai avec moi vers l'ascenseur.
20. Chapter 17
**Bonsoir à tous et à toutes, **
**Je vous souhaite une bonne année, ne l'ayant pas fait avant. **
**Ce chapitre est un long lemon. A partir de ce chapitre, il y a aura de long lemon à chaque chapitre, tous plus chauds les uns que les autres et avec plusieurs personnages. Et à partir du chapitre prochain, il y aura des rebondissements dans l'histoire. Voilà bonne lecture et encore merci à tous et toutes de me suivre. Biz au mois prochain Peacecraft. **
**Chapitre 17 : Une nuit des plus surprenantes**
Shanks entra avec moi dans la chambre, il ferma la porte derrière nous en me regardant. Comme je ne l'entendais plus bouger, je me retournai. Je le vis appuyé contre la porte, il voulait parler mais n'y arrivait pas.
Je repris les traits d'Hinata, avec lui aucun faux semblant n'était possible. De plus si je voulais être franche avec lui, valait mieux être moi-même.
L'Empereur s'avança vers moi d'un pas décidé. Arrivé devant moi, il m'enlaça de son bras pour me porter à sa hauteur. Le roux m'embrassa en avançant vers le lit. À ce moment-là, la discussion semblait superflue, puis nous avions pas mal de choses à rattraper tous les deux.
Au loin, Cro faisait la moue, je le sentais. Mais pour une fois ça m'était égal, ça faisait des années que j'attendais cet instant, je n'allais pas le laisser passer.
J'avais peur pour un tas de raison. D'abord, je n'avais pas assez mangé – _aurai-je assez de force pour tenir toute la nuit ?_ – venaient ensuite les inquiétudes d'Apo par rapport aux réactions possibles de Cro. Enfin Léna voulait être ailleurs.
Mais ce soir, si je voulais être une femme adulte dans les bras de mon amant, j'avais besoin qu'on soit là toutes les trois. Pour réussir à gérer notre pouvoir, il fallait qu'on ne fasse plus qu'une, et cela allait être difficile.
Shanks m'allongea sur le lit, se positionnant au-dessus de moi en faisant attention à ne pas m'écraser.
— Attends, fis-je dans un souffle.
— Oui pardon, je n'aurais pas dû, me dit-il en se relevant.
— Non ce n'est pas ça…
Le ramenant vers moi pour l'embrasser, je lui expliquai :
— Je voudrais tenter une expérience avec toi, seulement pour garantir un maximum de réussite, il faut que mes sœurs restent présentes, même si je contrôle nos personnalités. L'inconvénient, c'est qu'elles voudraient être avec leur amant respectif et que je ne garantis pas de pouvoir tenir toute la nuit.
— De quoi s'agit-il ? demanda-t-il intrigué.
— Utiliser le pouvoir qui me permet de vieillir pendant un petit moment. J'attends ça depuis tellement longtemps de pouvoir faire l'amour avec toi sous la forme d'une adulte… mais j'appréhende un peu…
— Je t'aime ma chérie, tu vas y arriver, me répondit-il en souriant.
Je me concentrai pour devenir une jeune fille de quinze ans. Shanks était à la fois étonné et enthousiasmé.
— Peux-tu te voir à travers mes yeux ? J'aimerais que tu te voies, tu es si belle… sinon je t'amène devant un miroir, me dit-il.
— Je peux me voir à travers tes yeux.
Je me transformais par tranche de cinq ans pour arriver à l'âge de vingt-cinq ans. Je décidai de m'arrêter là car à trois ans près, cela correspondait à mon âge actuel, et je ne tenais pas tellement à me vieillir davantage pour le moment.
— Qu'en penses-tu ? demandai-je.
— J'adore et toi ? répondit-il.
— Moi aussi, je me trouve bien. Je vais être directe mais ne sachant pas combien de temps je vais tenir comme ça, il vaudrait mieux qu'on saute les préliminaires. On en profitera davantage la prochaine fois. Désolé, fit-elle dans un murmure.
— Ce n'est rien, répondit-il.
Nous riions de bon cœur tout en nous déshabillant rapidement. Il m'embrassa puis je m'accroupis sans attendre pour prendre son organe dans ma bouche. Je l'excitai avec des va-et-vient de plus en plus cadencés, puis je lui enfilai le préservatif que nous avait fourni Cro et je m'installai à nouveau sur lui.
De sa main unique, Shanks vint me caresser entre les jambes, puis un doigt me pénétra doucement, provoquant en moi des sensations nouvelles. Un sourire d'extase sur les lèvres, je l'invitai à poursuivre.
Shanks retira son doigt et sa verge entra en moi. Enfin, je n'allais faire qu'un avec l'homme qui avait peuplé tous mes rêves. Un homme que j'avais choisi dans mes pensées quand tous les autres me prenaient contre mon gré.
Je ressentais du plaisir, ces va-et-vient en moi étaient aussi bons que ceux de Cro en Apo. Elle avait raison, quand on aime la personne avec qui on fait l'amour, c'est si bon d'être dans ses bras, de sentir l'odeur de sa peau, d'entendre sa voix, ses soupirs, de le sentir bouger en soi.
Il accéléra, je perdis toute notion de temps et d'espace. Je me mis à gémir. Pour une fois, je ne faisais pas semblant.
Nous jouîmes ensemble ça avait été rapide certes mais tellement bon, vingt minutes à peine s'étaient écoulées depuis que nous avions quitté les autres, les plus belles de ma vie.
Il se retira et m'embrassa de mon côté, je relâchai ma concentration pour reprendre mon apparence. Lovés l'un contre l'autre dans un câlin, on finit par s'endormir dans les bras l'un de l'autre.
Malgré mon sommeil, mon esprit se promena aux alentours de la chambre allant jusqu'à la plage. Là je perçus deux de mes amis. Tout d'abord Cro qui fixait la mer d'une humeur massacrante. Puis Benjamin qui, ayant repéré l'homme de sable, s'avança lentement vers lui. Étant donné l'état d'esprit du Logia et le fait qu'il ne bouge pas à la venue du jeune homme, ce rapprochement me fit un peu peur. Alors je restai en alerte et observai de loin la scène.
— Heu… pardon, je vous dérange peut-être ? questionna Benjamin. Je n'arrivais pas à dormir et je vous ai vu, je voulais vous remercier pour cette nuit, vous n'étiez pas obligé de vous préoccuper de moi.
— Que veux-tu ? répliqua sèchement Cro.
— Heu… vous dire merci.
— C'est fait, alors laisse-moi.
— Pardon. Je ne voulais pas vous importunez. Je vous laisse, dit Benjamin tristement.
— Attends ! Désolé. Je suis de mauvais poil. Je me venge sur toi, je n'aurais pas dû. Assieds-toi à côté de moi si tu veux, dit Cro en attrapant le garçon par le bras.
— Ce n'est pas grave… merci, dit Benjamin en s'asseyant à côté de lui.
Leurs bras se frôlèrent, Cro se demanda pourquoi le jeune homme s'était assis si près de lui. Alors qu'on voyait bien que lui, tout ce qu'il voulait c'était faire mal à quelqu'un, pour que sa douleur disparaisse.
— Tu devrais rentrer, tu n'es pas trop habillé et il fait froid, remarqua Cro.
— Oui, mais j'aimerais savoir si je pouvais vous être utile ? questionna Benjamin.
Cro regarda le gamin à côté de lui, d'un air interrogateur. Il portait une chemise en soie ouverte, qui laissait apparaître la marque des esclaves sexuels sur son cœur. L'homme au crochet se demanda si le jeune homme avait beaucoup crié quand le fer chaud avait touché sa peau. Le garçon le regardait droit dans les yeux sans broncher. Cro se mit alors à rire et dit :
— Si tu étais une fille, tu aurais pu l'être.
— Je peux être une femme si ça vous chante, répondit Benjamin sans détourner ses yeux, en comprenant ce que voulait dire Cro.
— Idiot ! Tu n'as rien écouté quand le roi t'as dit 'il _ne faut pas s'offrir au premier venu'_, cria Cro en le giflant.
Il allait lever à nouveau la main sur lui quand un autre jeune homme s'interposa.
— Il a compris, pas besoin d'être violent, cria Quatre en repoussant la main de Cro.
— Mêle-toi de ce qui te regarde, le rabroua Cro.
— Justement, je vous défends de le toucher. De plus, je suis là car vous m'avez appelé. Je suis empathe et votre colère m'a submergé. Maintenant, j'ai les mêmes envies que vous. Alors, au lieu de vous défouler sur lui, venez avec moi. Je vous amène aux putes s'il faut vous prendre par la main.
— Comment oses-tu ? s'énerva Cro.
— Bah comme vous voulez, en tout cas moi j'y vais, dit Quatre en se retournant pour partir.
— Non ! fit Benjamin.
Il entoura la taille de Quatre et l'attira à lui. Le blond, déstabilisé, se retrouva projeté les fesses par terre, le dos collé contre le torse de Benjamin et un bras de Cro.
— Non n'y va pas, reste avec nous, n'y va pas s'il te plaît, répétait Benjamin.
— Que fais-tu ? Je ne vois pas ce qui te dérange ?
— Je ne veux pas, je… Je… Bégaya Benjamin.
— Tu veux quoi ?
— Je veux que tu restes avec moi, cria Benjamin désespéré.
Quatre regarda le garçon, dont les yeux étaient emplis de larmes. Le blond retira les mains qui l'étreignaient puis se plaça de l'autre côté de Benjamin. Le jeune Comte s'allongea, alors le brun alla se coucher auprès de lui. Il mit sa tête sur son épaule et un bras sur son ventre comme pour le retenir. Cro les regarda, amusé et révolté en même temps, ils empiétaient sur sa quiétude.
— Bon dormons si on ne peut pas faire l'amour, dit Quatre vaincu.
— Si tu veux le faire ne te gêne pas, tu as entre tes bras un homme qui s'offre à n'importe qui, précisa Cro.
— La ferme, fit Quatre en essayant de se relever, mais Benjamin le bloqua à terre.
Cro sourit à cette remarque. Puis se penchant sur eux – son torse recouvrait le corps de Benjamin –, il planta son crochet dans le sable près de la tête du brun tandis que sa main droite se positionnait près de la tête du blond, et il toisa Quatre droit dans les yeux.
— Pourtant je ne dis que la vérité. Il vient de s'offrir à moi. Mais en fait, celui qu'il désire c'est toi et c'est réciproque, n'est-ce pas ? Alors le seul ici qui ait vraiment besoin qu'on lui tienne la main c'est toi.
Sur ces mots, Cro déplaça sa main droite et attrapa Benjamin pour le faire basculer sur Quatre, les plaçant ainsi bassin contre bassin. Puis il appuya sur le fessier du brun pour que leurs sexes entrent en contact. À ce moment-là, les deux garçons rougirent, surtout quand chacun sentit une légère érection chez l'autre.
Cro glissa sa main sur le fessier de Benjamin, descendant doucement vers son intimité, puis il passa sa main entre leurs bassins pour caresser leurs verges, les deux hommes en gémirent de plaisir.
Quatre allait parler quand Benjamin l'embrassa avec fougue, avant de plaquer son sexe contre celui de Quatre Cro dégagea alors sa main.
Il regarda Benjamin s'installer à cheval sur le corps de Quatre. Le jeune brun reprit ses baisers sur l'homme positionné sous lui en lui mordillant le lobe de son oreille, puis descendit le long de son cou. Quatre voulait protester, mais cela faisait si longtemps qu'il désirait cela si ardemment. Combien de fois avait-il rêvé de cet instant ? Combien de nuits avait-il joui en silence en imaginant cette scène ? Mais il ne pouvait pas. Benjamin était l'amant du roi.
— Je ne peux pas… tu… Tu es…
Benjamin l'embrassa pour le faire taire. Il savait à quoi l'autre pensait. Mais en cet instant le brun ne désirait qu'un seul homme : Quatre et la nuit était à eux.
— Je sais ce que tu vas dire… mais cette nuit je te veux toi ! Ne pars pas, ne me quitte pas. Fais-moi l'amour, ne me l'interdit pas. J'ai besoin de toi… S'il te plaît, bégaya Benjamin.
— Hmm ! fit Cro, je pense avoir trouvé comment Benjamin peut m'être utile…
Il se rapprocha des garçons et leur murmura :
— Vous voulez me faire plaisir, alors criez mon nom durant votre étreinte !
Ces derniers acquiescèrent.
Benjamin déboutonna la chemise de Quatre de haut en bas, puis il commença à embrasser ses clavicules, ses omoplates ensuite, il s'attarda sur ses tétons en les léchant et les mordillant au point qu'ils finirent par durcir et rougir. Benjamin sentait qu'ils étaient prêts pour qu'on s'occupe d'eux, aussi décida-t-il d'y consacrer un long moment.
Quatre gémissait, il cambrait son torse sous les assauts des morsures de Benjamin. Au bout d'un moment, ce dernier fit glisser sa langue le long des flancs de Quatre puis sur son bas-ventre.
Benjamin continua de déshabiller son amant tout en l'embrassant à pleine bouche, lui caressant le dos et la nuque.
Arrivé au niveau des cheveux, il tira d'un coup sec dessus pour faire basculer la tête de Quatre en arrière et ainsi libérer sa gorge. Benjamin se rua dessus, tel un vampire, embrassant cette gorge ainsi offerte pour y laisser un magnifique suçon.
Il lui griffa ensuite le dos. Quatre cria de plaisir, jusqu'à hurler le nom de Benjamin mais au dernier moment il se ravisa :
— Crocodile, oui, c'est trop bon, Crocodile !
Crocodile regarda les deux jeunes hommes avec intérêt. Il sourit et répondit en murmurant à son oreille :
— J'en suis sûr mon grand, j'en suis sûr…
Benjamin s'attela à finir sa tâche : il allongea Quatre au sol, déboutonna son pantalon et le lui retira avec son sous-vêtement. Le blond se retrouva nu sous lui.
Benjamin s'attarda une fois de plus sur le bas-ventre de son amant, le caressant avec pudeur, comme pour ne pas le casser. Ensuite, il poursuivit ces mêmes mouvements délicats sur les hanches, descendant lentement le long des cuisses, passant de l'une à l'autre, puis il remonta doucement vers l'organe en érection de Quatre.
Benjamin s'arrêta un instant pour le contempler, il lui sourit et finit par se jeter sur lui comme s'il était affamé, le prenant à pleine bouche.
Durant ce long baiser, Benjamin attrapa de sa main droite le pénis turgescent du jeune blond et commença à jouer avec le gland, délicatement au début ce qui le fit vagir. Quatre sentait l'extase du moment l'envahir, le transporter vers un ailleurs où plus personne ne comptait sauf eux deux. Ancré dans le sable qu'il malaxait à chaque vague de plaisir, il luttait pour ne pas se perdre dans cet abîme de jouissance.
Cro les regardait faire. À sa grande surprise, il ressentit l'envie de les toucher, de leur faire l'amour, mais aussi l'envie de jouir. Son pantalon gonflait au niveau de son entrejambe. Cela le fit sourire, il enviait ces gamins qui se donnaient du plaisir. Mais pour l'instant, Cro les regardait, il s'occuperait du reste plus tard.
Considérant son amant prêt pour la suite, Benjamin se redressa sur ses genoux et se déshabilla sous le regard des deux hommes présents. Sans gêne ni honte aucune, il défit un à un les boutons de sa chemise, comme tant de fois auparavant, dans une lenteur et une délicatesse uniques, laissant ses spectateurs sous le charme. Ces derniers pensèrent en eux-mêmes qu'un tel être avait dû être plus qu'apprécié par ses anciens maîtres, tant il irradiait d'une beauté inouïe.
Il est évident, à le voir ainsi, que Benjamin n'a pas son pareil pour éveiller des émotions chez chacun de ses partenaires qu'ils soient impulsifs ou pondérés dans leurs actes, ils seront toujours tiraillés entre lui faire l'amour tout de suite ou en prenant leur temps.
Benjamin se redressa le plus possible afin de retirer sa ceinture avec agilité et sensualité. Le bouton défait, la fermeture à crémaillère s'ouvrit lentement pour laisser apparaître un bout de tissu noir. Au travers de cette petite fenêtre triangulaire, on distinguait bien le renflement de sa verge encore retenue dans le caleçon. Les deux hommes ne perdaient pas une miette de la scène, tellement ils étaient subjugués.
L'homme à genoux sous leurs yeux n'avait pas plus de dix-sept ans, et dégageait déjà un charme fou en restant habillé. Que cela pouvait-il donné une fois nu ? Quatre et Cro n'allaient pas tarder à le savoir !
Benjamin finit de retirer son pantalon et son sous-vêtement et s'installa plus confortablement sur Quatre.
Aucun des deux ne pouvait défaire leur regard d'une telle vision de rêve. Benjamin paraissait tellement parfait qu'ils ne savaient plus où donner de la tête, et pourtant ils en avaient vu des personnes déshabillées, mais jamais tel spectacle ne leur avait été offert.
Cro lui-même s'en voulait d'avoir des pensées envieuses pour un corps si sensuel. « _Il m'a envoûté, ce n'est pas possible… Et dire que je l'ai giflé pas plus tôt qu'en début de soirée !_ »
Benjamin se plaça ensuite devant Quatre, lui attrapa les jambes, les leva, les passa autour de son cou et alla lécher son intimité.
Quand il sentit que Quatre était enfin prêt à le recevoir, Benjamin mouilla un doigt afin de le pénétrer une première fois. Quatre en gémit de plaisir. Le jeune brun s'humecta les autres doigts pour finir d'exciter son sexe en érection et entra dans son amant qui se délecta du moment.
Excité par les va-et-vient de Benjamin, Quatre ne pouvait s'empêcher de pousser de petits gémissement. L'extase était telle qu'il se sentait transporté dans une autre dimension. Il commença à prononcer le nom de Cro comme promis, bientôt rejoint par Benjamin.
Pendant que ce dernier accélérait la cadence, faisant ainsi crier Quatre de plus en plus fort, Cro – éprouvant un étrange désir comme emporté lui aussi par l'appel de son nom – s'allongea à leur côté, défit son pantalon et commença à se caresser.
Porté par l'excitation qu'il procurait à ses deux compagnons, Benjamin jouit dans un dernier râle de béatitude puis s'affala le torse en sueur sur son amant, exténué mais euphorique.
Il eut du mal à reprendre son souffle, mais entre deux respirations, il réussit à dire à Quatre :
— À toi mon amour, je veux te sentir en moi.
— Tu es sûr ? demanda Quatre.
— Certain, je n'attends que ça depuis des nuits, dit-il en l'embrassant.
Quatre exultait de joie, lui aussi n'attendait que ça depuis des nuits. Il serra fort Benjamin dans ses bras, puis ils changèrent de place pour que le jeune brun puisse s'asseoir sur Quatre : le jeune blond s'installa en tailleur sur le sable et Benjamin se positionna sur lui, ses jambes encerclant Quatre au niveau de la taille. Benjamin se laissa faire, sentant déjà les mains baladeuses de son amant passer sur ses fesses et les caresser avant de remonter sur son torse.
Tout en lui tenant fermement le torse, le jeune blond s'intéressa aux aréoles qui étaient à portée de sa bouche. Benjamin, mu par une excitation intense, bascula la tête après quelques minutes et émit de petits râles continus. Quatre y vit le signe que ses petites attentions portaient leurs fruits et décida de passer à la vitesse supérieure.
Il tendit une de ses mains au-dessus du visage de Benjamin. En la voyant, ce dernier compris ce qu'attendait son amant, alors il lécha abondamment les doigts qui se présentaient à lui avant que la main ne disparaisse. Il ressentit des frissons à l'idée de ce qui allait venir : cette main glissait le long de son dos et allait le pénétrer doigt après doigt. Et il ne fut pas déçu du résultat.
Après quelques légers va-et-vient, Quatre ressortit ses doigts et se masturba tout en frôlant l'organe en érection de Benjamin. Le jeune brun se sentit soulevé, littéralement cette fois, pour être pénétré ardemment par Quatre, et les effets qu'il en ressentait n'avaient nul autre égal.
_Enfin… _pensait-il_, enfin il est à moi, en moi… Je l'avais tant désiré et maintenant… maintenant je le sens en moi, doux et ferme à la fois, c'est si bon… j'ai enfin trouvé ma délivrance !_
Benjamin était comme au Paradis, définitivement libre de vivre ses envies. Certes il aimait le roi et lui serait toujours reconnaissant pour sa gratitude et sa bienveillance, malgré tout il avait toujours était fasciné par ce jeune homme, et cette beauté saisissante qui l'avait séduit dès le premier regard échangé il savait que ce garçon serait plus qu'un simple ami ou confident ! Il voulait tout connaître de lui, jusqu'à la plus infime parcelle de son corps, de sa peau, de son odeur. Tout en lui affolait déjà ses sens, et ce soir enfin, son attente était récompensée.
Revenu à la réalité, Benjamin pouvait enfin observer dans l'effort cet amant tant désiré. Face à face, peau contre peau, leur sueur se mélangeaient et Benjamin exultait ! Quatre donna les derniers à-coups d'une accélération presque bestiale avant de jouir puissamment dans son amant.
Cro, qui n'en avait pas perdu une miette avait retiré son sous-vêtement et avait commencé à se masturber en les regardant.
Au moment où ils crièrent à l'unisson, lui se mordit la lèvre jusqu'au sang pour ne pas émettre un son. Cependant, à l'évocation de son nom, et à l'émission des sons d'extase par les deux jeunes hommes, il n'avait pu se retenir et projeta sa semence partout sur son torse.
Jusque-là, il s'était laissé porté par les événements, certainement subjugué par ces visions de splendeur et envoûté par les phéromones dégagées par les deux jeunes mâles en sa présence, mais maintenant qu'il avait joui, il repensa à nous, sachant pertinemment que nous avions été témoins de la scène et qu'il aurait des comptes à nous rendre pour l'avoir fait ! Nonobstant la situation, l'envie avait été la plus forte et elle ne s'arrêterait pas en si bon chemin, même s'il ignorait encore la tournure qu'allaient prendre les choses.
Il releva sa main pour analyser sa semence, quand il entendit Quatre tomber à terre. Il tourna la tête vers les garçons pour constater qu'ils étaient épuisés, mais le regard de Benjamin en disait long sur la suite.
Le brun rampa par-dessus Quatre puis se dirigea vers Cro qui décida d'en faire abstraction quelques secondes pour revenir à sa semence dont il voulait découvrir le goût. Au moment où il abaissa sa main vers sa bouche, Benjamin lui monta dessus. À quatre pattes sur le torse de Cro, Benjamin le regardait faire le voyant hésiter, Benjamin s'avança vers la main souillée du liquide séminal de Cro comme pour la lécher puis du bout des lèvres la poussa jusqu'à la bouche de Cro. Là, dans un baiser langoureux, les deux hommes léchèrent cette main couverte de sperme.
L'homme de sable eut une idée, mais avant même de pouvoir bouger le crochet, Quatre se rua derrière Benjamin, écarta les fesses de ce dernier et lui lécha l'anus, comme s'il avait pressenti ce qui allait arriver. Le brun, léchant toujours la main enfoncée dans la bouche de Cro, se mit à gémir.
_La nuit ne faisait que commencer,_ pensa le plus âgé des trois. L'homme attrapa Benjamin pour le tourner. Le plus jeune était allongé sur le dos, bloqué contre le torse de Cro pendant que Quatre continuait à le léchait. Entre temps, Cro insinua sa main dans la bouche de Benjamin, doigt après doigt. Quatre quant à lui délaissa l'anus de son amant pour se rapprocher de sa verge, de nouveau bien ferme. Benjamin gémit de plaisir. _Quatre était décidément très doué_, pensa-t-il.
Cro ne perdit pas le fil de son idée pour autant, et remplaça ses doigts dans la bouche de Benjamin par son crochet. Ce dernier le lécha sans hésiter, sachant ce que Cro avait en tête. Et il lui faisait entièrement confiance pour ne pas le blesser.
C'était un juste retour des choses en quelque sorte, Benjamin lui devait tout de même d'avoir pu coucher avec Quatre, l'homme qu'il désirait tant avoir pour lui, en lui. Aussi, quand Cro enfonça son crochet dans l'anus du jeune brun, ce dernier était parfaitement détendu.
Délicatement, l'homme de sable le pénétra, sans lui faire de mal, pendant que sa main libre se baladait sur le torse du jeune homme, lui titillant les tétons, les caressant, les pinçant.
— Hmmm ! Allez-y ! Encore ! Plus fort !
Les deux hommes ne se firent pas prier davantage et redoublèrent d'efforts pour exciter leur jeune amant.
Très vite, Benjamin éjacula dans la bouche de Quatre qui n'avait pu se retirer avant. Cro l'en avait en effet gentiment empêché en mettant sa main dans sa chevelure dorée.
Il avait senti cette main caresser sa tête, la maintenir au-dessus de la verge de Benjamin, et cela ne l'avait pas dérangé. Au contraire, il avait ainsi pu avaler un peu de la semence de son amant et il n'avait pas trouvé ça si désagréable au goût.
Ça n'avait rien à voir avec les fois précédentes où on l'avait obligé à le faire. Dans le cas présent, tout le monde était consentant, il se surprit même à aimer cette expérience, et il était prêt à recommencer n'importe quand du moment que c'était avec Benjamin.
— Hmmm ! QUATRE ! CRO ! AHMMMM !
Les deux hommes se dégagèrent de leur amant, encore tout engourdi par le plaisir, le laissant là quelques secondes, affalé sur le torse de Cro.
Puis, dans un regain d'énergie, Benjamain se releva, attrapa Quatre, l'embrassa et le fit glisser jusqu'à la bouche de Cro. Là, ses deux aînés s'embrassèrent pour échanger son liquide séminal.
Benjamin rit en voyant la scène, puis il s'approcha de l'anus de Quatre pour le lécher à son tour. Le jeune blond se retrouva rapidement sous le joug de Cro et Benjamin.
Ces derniers l'entreprirent comme Benjamin l'avait été juste auparavant. Pendant que Benjamin léchait abondamment l'intimité de Quatre, Cro donna sa main au blond.
Ce dernier happa tous les doigts qui se présentaient à lui et les suça longuement Benjamin profita de l'occasion pour lui faire une fellation.
Cro introduisit alors ses doigts dans l'anus de Quatre et présenta en même temps son crochet devant la bouche du jeune Comte. Sans hésitation, il le lécha – _si Benjamin y avait pris du plaisir, pourquoi pas moi ?_ se disait-il. Cro retira ses doigts pour laisser la place à son crochet.
Quatre fut tout d'abord surpris par le côté rigide et lisse du métal et manifesta un petit soubresaut, mais il ne ressentait aucune douleur, au contraire. _C'est plus froid que je ne l'imaginais_, pensa-t-il !
La main de Cro glissait sur son torse, s'amusant avec ses tétons. La fellation de Benjamin était si intense qu'en quelques minutes à peine il se déversa dans sa bouche. Le jeune brun rampa alors sur Quatre pour l'embrasser, puis fit de même avec Cro.
Tout en rigolant, il lui demanda :
— Alors ? Lequel de nous trois a le meilleur goût ?
— Haha ! Très bonne question, je dirais… Égalité !
— Tricheur ! dit Quatre en rigolant. T'as pas le droit, tu dois choisir.
— Alors je dirais moi. Comme ça je ne vous mets pas en compétition.
— Tu as raison, dirent les deux hommes.
Ils se regardèrent, redescendirent le long du corps de Cro et empoignèrent son sexe.
— Qu… ? fit Cro.
— Tu l'as dit, c'est toi qui a le meilleur goût. Alors on en profite, dit Benjamin en rigolant.
— De plus, tu n'as joui qu'une seule fois ! Laisse-nous faire, ajouta Quatre avec un clin d'œil.
— Hmm ! Ok, mais juste une petite fellation alors, et après on rentre, ok ?
Les deux jeunes acquiescèrent en rigolant, puis ils s'embrassèrent en prenant le sexe de Cro en tenaille dans leur bouche. Les garçons le léchèrent, le mordillèrent, jouèrent avec comme si c'était une glace. L'un après l'autre, ou en même temps. Ils rivalisèrent d'imagination, s'amusant de plus en plus, entraînés par les gémissements de Cro. Puis l'homme de sable se libéra dans leur bouche. Il avait étreint sa veste sous lui, à un tel point qu'il l'avait déchirée. Les garçons remontèrent jusqu'à sa bouche pour l'embrasser.
— Tu es bien le meilleur, fit Benjamin.
— Non, c'est vous les meilleurs, s'amusa Cro.
Les trois hommes rigolèrent, puis les deux garçons se laissèrent tomber chacun de part et d'autre de Cro, se collant à lui, puis se prirent la main sur son torse. Tandis que celui-ci les prenait dans ses bras.
— Peut-on se reposer un peu ici avant de rentrer ? On est fatigué, précisa Quatre.
— Oui, répondit Cro.
Je le vis rabattre sa veste sur les garçons pour qu'ils n'attrapent pas froid, car il était le seul à être habillé… du moins il l'était un peu plus qu'eux. Je m'endormis après cela, en pensant que le lendemain j'allais devoir mettre les choses au point avec ces trois-là.
21. Chapter 18
**Chapitre 18 : Deuxième jour du sommet **
Les garçons se réveillèrent un peu avant l'aube, et réalisant qu'ils s'étaient assoupis, ils se levèrent d'un bond et se rhabillèrent en quatrième vitesse.
Cro n'avait que son pantalon à remonter et fermer, alors il profita une dernière fois du spectacle proposé par les deux jeunes gens. Il posa une nouvelle fois son regard sur Benjamin : _sa façon de se vêtir est aussi sensuelle que sa façon de se dévêtir_, pensait Cro, _je n'aurais peut-être pas dû…_ Pour autant Cro ne se laissa pas abattre par la situation.
Cette nuit, il avait vraiment pris conscience de toute la beauté que dégageait ce garçon, sa manière si particulière, si féline de se mouvoir, comprenant ainsi pourquoi autant de personnes restaient subjuguées par sa présence et tenaient absolument à le mettre dans leur lit !
Quatre avait sa beauté propre, et bien qu'il n'en soit pas dépourvu, il n'avait pas la grâce de Benjamin. Celle de Quatre était innée, faisant montre d'une noble naissance, ses gestes princiers indiquaient une éducation dans le respect des règles et de la politesse, mais il n'était pas précieux pour autant. Quatre savait taper du poing sur la table et se faire entendre même s'il n'aimait pas ça.
Ils rentrèrent tous les trois à l'hôtel. Cro alla dans sa chambre et les garçons se dirigèrent vers la chambre de Benjamin.
Il était six heures du matin quand j'ouvris les yeux, Shanks – toujours à mes côtés – dormait encore. Pour ne pas le réveiller, je me levai lentement, m'habillai rapidement et sortis de la chambre après l'avoir embrassé.
Je filai droit vers la chambre des garçons et les trouvai endormis. Je ressortis aussi sec et me précipitai chez Cro.
J'entrai en claquant la porte. Il était là, en serviette de toilette, les cheveux mouillés, sortant à peine de la douche. Je le fusillai du regard, je voulus le gifler, lui crier dessus. Mais quand son regard se posa sur moi, je m'immobilisai.
Devant moi se présentait un homme à la fois désemparé, furieux contre lui-même et contre le monde entier.
Au fond de moi, j'entendais Apo crier de douleur pour lui, aussi, lui cédai-je la place.
Impassible, il eut à peine le temps de comprendre ce qui se passait que déjà Apo l'embrassait à pleine bouche et lui arrachait la serviette qu'il portait à la taille pour le pousser vers le lit.
Cro se laissa faire. Tout en tombant sur le lit, il la vit se déshabiller et se pencher sur sa verge pour l'engloutir d'un coup dans sa bouche.
Le désir montait en lui telle la fièvre, submergé par le bonheur de l'instant. Pourtant il ne pouvait s'empêcher de se demander pourquoi elle faisait ça, là, maintenant, après ce qu'il lui avait fait endurer toute la nuit. _Je l'ai trompée, presque humiliée, elle en a été témoin, et maintenant elle me baise… Pourquoi ?_
Il sortit de ses réflexions quand il la sentit chevaucher sans ménagement son membre en érection. Elle s'agitait comme une damnée, les va-et-vient de son bassin le firent réagir, gémir même, aussi, accentua-t-elle ses déhanchements, tout en l'embrassant avec passion. Il posa ses mains sur son corps et se cala sur le rythme de ses va-et-vient. Apo se mit alors à crier :
— Hmmm ! Plus fort ! Vas-y ! OUIIII ! Comme ça, continuuuueee !
Dans un dernier râle, elle glissa un : « je t'aime ! »
Cro ne se le fit pas dire deux fois et redoubla d'intensité. Très rapidement, les deux crièrent de concert dans une jouissance inouïe. Après avoir repris leurs esprits, Cro se retira et Apo se releva pour passer dans la salle de bain. Une douche rapide, elle se sécha et s'habilla vite fait. Je repris alors le contrôle et le regardai froidement dans les yeux avant de lui dire :
— Ne t'avise jamais de recommencer ! Apo t'aime et tient trop à toi pour que tu continues tes conneries ! Tu vaux mieux que ça. On se retrouve en bas, ne sois pas en retard.
Je sortis sans me retourner en claquant la porte, puis allai déjeuner.
La matinée passa sans problème, divers sujets ont été abordés. Tout d'abord, nous avons discuté des territoires administrés par chacun des convives ensuite, il a fallu appuyer Luffy dans sa requête pour revendiquer les terres de Big Mom après la défaite de cette dernière enfin, il a été question de deux problèmes administratifs majeurs : dans un premier temps, nous avons parlementé sur la mise en place de lois visant à protéger au maximum les populations civiles, tout en prêtant attention aux revendications des Pirates – ces derniers souhaitant bénéficier de lieux éloignés de l'occupation des marines – puis nous nous sommes penchés sur la création d'un gouvernement et sur les critères et les modes de sélection de ses membres.
En début d'après-midi, après cinq heures d'âpres négociations, nous sommes tous partis manger. Néanmoins, mon corps était dans un tel état de fatigue que je préférai aller m'allonger un moment.
Aussi, vers 14 heures, j'annonçai à tout le monde qu'ils avaient quartier libre tout l'après-midi et qu'on ne reprendrait que le lendemain matin.
Après une grande exclamation de joie, toutes les femmes présentes – des plus coquètes aux plus 'pirates' – décidèrent d'aller faire les boutiques. Sanji trouva ce temps libre opportun pour aller faire le marché, lui qui se demandait justement quand il pourrait dégager du temps pour réapprovisionner les bateaux. Benjamin et Quatre l'accompagnèrent pour visiter l'île en même temps.
Tandis qu'ils allaient tous prospecter l'île, moi j'allai seule dans ma chambre et m'effondrai sur le lit.
Vers 17 heures, je ressentis un danger, aussi je téléportai mon esprit vers le lieu concerné, tout en restant endormie, car je n'arrivais pas à me réveiller.
Je vis Quatre, Benjamin et Sanji dans une ruelle, entourés de pirates armés et menaçants. Je ne m'inquiétais pas, car les garçons savaient se défendre.
Sanji commença à envoyer des coups de pied sur leurs assaillants qui s'étalèrent au sol. Les deux plus jeunes rendaient pas mal de coups, mais Benjamin fut frappé à la tête par derrière, si violemment qu'il s'effondra au sol. Au moment où Quatre voulut le secourir, trois hommes le ceinturèrent pour le plaquer au sol pendant qu'un quatrième le chloroformait jusqu'à évanouissement. Dans le même temps, Sanji sentait le danger grandir à vue d'œil et se précipita vers eux, mais là un groupe de pas moins de cinq personnes fut nécessaire pour le stopper et le plaquer lui-aussi au sol, avant qu'un sixième individu ne vienne lui injecter une drogue pour l'endormir.
Les garçons étaient en grand danger et je me retrouvais dans l'incapacité d'intervenir au moment où on les transportait ailleurs. Trop fatiguée pour maintenir mon corps astral et les suivre, je finis par me rendormir profondément. Toutefois, une petite alerte inconsciente me rappela qu'il fallait que je les aide.
Quand je me suis sentie assez forte à nouveau pour projeter mon corps, je retrouvai les trois hommes dans une cabane située sur les hauteurs de l'île. Des pirates étaient postés devant, en guise de sentinelles, ainsi que dans la pièce qui servait à la fois de salon et de cuisine. Sur le côté, il y avait une chambre où se trouvaient mes amis en compagnie d'autres hommes.
Cinq d'entre eux étaient des pirates, les dix autres étaient des marines. Ils discutaient et riaient en regardant mes protégés installés de part et d'autre au pied du lit à baldaquin. Quatre et Benjamin étaient côte à côte sur la droite, ils se touchaient presque, quant à Sanji, il était de l'autre côté du montant. Je les observais tristement, à demi inconscients, nus et pieds et poings liés.
À la façon dont ils avaient attaché les jambes de Sanji, j'avais compris qu'ils le connaissaient bien et qu'ils savaient quelles étaient ses armes.
Je tendis l'oreille pour entendre ce qu'ils disaient. Je m'inquiétais car j'étais dans l'incapacité de me lever pour arrêter tout ça.
— Haha ! Prince Sanji comme on se retrouve, fit un marine.
— Je ne vous connais pas enfoiré, répondit Sanji.
— Effectivement, vous n'aviez que trois ans la dernière fois qu'on s'est vu. Vous avez dû nous oublier. Mais dans le doute, nous allons finir le travail.
— De quoi parlez-vous ? demanda Sanji.
— Nous sommes les marines du capitaine Vermillon. Nous avons tué votre mère et détruit votre île. On vous a laissé pour mort la dernière fois, mais on ne refera pas la même erreur aujourd'hui.
— Allez au diable ! cria Sanji.
Il se débattit pour se libérer, mais il ne put bouger et se blessa les jambes à cause des entraves métalliques.
— Haha ! Oui, si tu veux, mais tu iras avant nous sois en sûr ! répondit le marine.
— Mais avant, on va s'amuser avec vous, dit un pirate.
— Non ! Laissez-les partir, c'est après moi que vous en avez, s'insurgea Sanji.
— C'est vrai ! Mais vois-tu, nous sommes nombreux, et toi seul ne suffira pas à nous satisfaire, rétorqua le pirate.
Je commençai à vraiment m'inquiéter. Je cherchai à qui je pouvais demander de l'aide et je pensai immédiatement à Cro.
Je sondai toute l'île pour finir par le trouver dans une taverne près de la sortie de la ville, non loin des hauteurs où se trouvaient les garçons. Aussi décidai-je de le contacter par télépathie :
— _Cro ! C'est Hinata, tu m'entends ?_
— _Tiens, Hinata, que me vaut cet hon…_
— _Tais-toi et écoute-moi : j'ai… nous avons besoin de ton aide. Quatre, Benjamin et Sanji sont en danger. Ils se sont fait enlever par des pirates aidés des marines qui ont tué la mère de Sanji. Va les aider s'il-te-plaît, je suis bloquée au lit. Mon corps ne répond plus, seul mon esprit peut voyager et me permettre de communiquer avec vous. S'il-te-plaît sors-les de là, merci._
— _Et pourquoi ferais-je ça ? fit-il sans quitter sa bière des yeux._
— _Pour trois raisons : un car tu les apprécies en dépit de ce que tu peux dire, deux car tu es le plus proche géographiquement pour intervenir et trois pour Apo… Quatrièmement parce qu'il faut agir vite avant que la situation ne dégénère. _
— _Ouais, et j'y gagne quoi, moi ?_
— _Toute notre gratitude et tout notre amour…_
— _Grumph, ajouta-t-il sans réelle conviction._
— _Ne perdons pas plus de temps, je t'envoie l'emplacement immédiatement. Pars tout de suite. Le temps tu que arrives, je vais rester avec eux, et les conseiller pour gagner du temps._
— _Ok, finit-il par dire en éclusant d'un trait sa bière._
J'étais moyennement convaincue par l'attitude de Cro, néanmoins je n'avais que lui sous la main pour le moment, je devais donc faire avec.
Cro se leva et se dirigea le plus vite possible vers la cabane. De mon côté, je revins auprès des garçons.
— Bon commençons, fit le pirate de tout à l'heure.
— On n'a qu'à prendre les deux blonds mon frère, fit un deuxième.
— Moi je prends le brun… Mais pardon ! Nous manquons à tous nos devoirs, ajouta l'homme avec un rictus sadique. Capitaine Karnac. Et là, ce sont les frères Kamakiri. Ces deux honorables capitaines ont partagé le même fruit du démon, de type Zoan. Comme leur nom l'indique ce sont des mantes religieuses. Vous savez ce qu'on dit d'elles ? Qu'elles bouffent leurs amants pendant l'acte. Ils ont toutefois promis de se retenir la première fois, pour qu'on puisse tous s'amuser avec vous. Mais après… De plus, ils ont tendance à se transformer pendant l'acte. Alors évitez de mourir trop vite.
— _Les garçons, vous m'entendez ? C'est Hinata. Je ne peux pas bouger, alors j'ai envoyé des renforts… enfin, plutôt un renfort. Alors tenez bon, faites durer la discussion, il arrive. _
— _Ok, répondirent les trois hommes. _
Les capitaines s'avancèrent vers Quatre et Sanji, se positionnèrent derrière eux et déboutonnèrent leur pantalon.
— Foutez-leur la paix ! cria Benjamin.
— Oh, mais ne t'inquiète pas, je ne t'oublie pas, fit le marine.
Les capitaines s'étaient arrêtés un instant pour regarder Benjamin et le marine à leur côté. Ce dernier sortit un couteau en rigolant, fit glisser la lame le long des fesses de Benjamin, la descendit entre ses cuisses et lui entailla légèrement la peau. Un filet de sang se mit à couler le long de sa cuisse et à goutter jusqu'au sol.
— Arrêtez ! hurlèrent Sanji et Quatre ensemble.
— Il a compris le message, reprit Sanji.
Le marine se mit à rire. Quand il entendit des bruits provenant de dehors, il fit signe à un de ses collègues d'aller voir.
Quand celui-ci arriva au niveau de la porte, il fut projeté en l'air avec cette dernière. Cro se tenait là, sur le seuil de la pièce.
Il aperçut alors le marine, un couteau à la main, positionné entre les jambes de Benjamin. Il se jeta aussitôt sur lui pour lui trancher la gorge d'un coup de crochet.
Puis, il fit apparaître deux mini-tempêtes de sable dans sa main et les balança sur les capitaines pirates qui se transformaient en mante religieuse pour l'attaquer. Engloutis par les tornades, les capitaines-mantes se desséchèrent en quelques secondes, puis vint le tour des autres hommes présents sur les lieux.
Quand tout fut fini, il ne restait que Cro et les trois victimes de l'embuscade, vivants certes mais quelque peu choqués par cette avalanche de violence aussi rapide que fugace.
Cro détacha les deux garçons :
— Partez et allez rejoindre Hinata dans sa chambre, elle soignera Benjamin. Ne faites pas attention aux cadavres je m'en occuperai plus tard.
— Et pour Sanji ? demanda Quatre inquiet.
Ce qu'il éprouvait à l'égard de ce que dégageait Cro n'annonçait rien de bon, et il ne voulait pas partir tant que Sanji ne serait pas détaché.
— Je m'en charge aussi, partez devant, répliqua Cro.
— Mais… fit Quatre.
— Ça suffit ! Occupe-toi de Benjamin, répondit-il de manière virulente. Je ne vais pas le violer, alors partez !
Les deux garçons s'en allèrent en prenant la direction de la ville afin de venir à ma rencontre. Tout en les attendant, je restais attentive à ce qui allait se passer dans la cabane.
Cro s'assit par terre à côté de Sanji et alluma un cigare.
— Qu'est-ce que tu attends ? Libère-moi. C'est déjà assez humiliant comme ça. En plus j'ai froid, se plaignit Sanji.
— Non, pas tout de suite… On va parler d'abord, répondit Cro.
— Hein ? fit Sanji dépité par l'attitude incompréhensible de Cro.
— Vois-tu, je n'arrive pas à leur parler en face, je vais en profiter maintenant puisqu'elles ne peuvent pas intervenir. Aussi, je te demande de te taire et de m'écouter, sinon je pourrais vraiment abuser de toi ! Finalement, quand on te voit comme ça, ainsi dévêtu et offert à mes yeux, on se demande pourquoi seul Roronoa aurait le droit d'en profiter, non ?
En disant cela, il posa son unique main sur le postérieur de Sanji et la fit glisser dessus comme on le ferait pour calmer un chien quand on le caresse. Sanji ne bougea pas et m'entendit dire :
— _Il ne te fera pas de mal, il n'est pas comme ça… Pardon, laisse-le finir, ça ira… Si je vois que ça dégénère j'interviendrai promis._
Puis Cro continua, comme si de rien n'était :
— Tu vois cette nuit… j'ai trompé Apo. Je l'ai humiliée, tout comme ces deux gamins finalement. Pourtant quand elle m'a vu ce matin, elle m'a fait l'amour comme jamais auparavant ! Hinata m'a dit qu'elle passait l'éponge pour l'histoire avec les gamins car Apo m'aime. Elles acceptent que je leur fasse du mal, car elles m'en ont fait. Un juste retour des choses en quelque sorte, car oui, j'ai souffert. Hein ? Qui l'aurait cru ça ? Que moi, le si terrible et méchant Crocodile – dont le crochet ne faillit jamais –, je puisse souffrir, et tout ça pour la mort d'un enfant que je n'ai même pas connu. Mais c'était aussi le mien tu comprends ? J'aurais dû avoir mon mot à dire, ne pas être dépossédé de cette décision. Mais non, elles ont agi sans mon consentement ! Je sais qu'elles ne veulent pas d'enfant, je peux le comprends, je sais aussi qu'elle n'est pas seule dans ce corps, mais moi je l'aime et je veux faire ma vie avec elle, fonder une famille… Oui je suis égoïste, mais je pensais que…
Cro ferma les yeux un instant, aussi fugace que fut cette émotion, je l'avais ressentie, puis il reprit :
— Et puis hier soir, j'ai compris que je n'avais aucune chance… Il est là LUI ! Il est parfait LUI ! …Ce Shanks. Hinata l'a toujours aimé. Il a toujours été leur soutien à toutes les trois : quand elles se faisaient violer, c'est à lui qu'elles pensaient, c'est dans ses bras qu'elles se voyaient… Pfff ! Alors moi dans tout ça, je suis qui, je suis quoi moi, hein ? Qu'ai-je le droit de demander ? De revendiquer ? Mais rien bien sûr ! Il est là dans sa vie, dans son lit… leur lit à toutes les trois ! Moi je ne suis plus rien, juste l'homme avec qui elles passaient le temps avant qu'il ne se décide à entrer réellement dans leur vie, dans leur lit. Et moi, comme un con, qui ai eu la bonne idée de tomber amoureux. C'est pas merveilleux ça ? Un ménage à six ! Et maintenant je vais tout détruire, je veux qu'elles me haïssent à tel point qu'elles en viendront aux poings et aux crocs pour se débarrasser de moi, un vrai combat comme lors de notre première rencontre, pour clore un magnifique chapitre. Tu en penses quoi toi, hein ? Évidemment, pour être sûr qu'elles rentreront dans une rage folle, je n'ai pas d'autre choix que de t'utiliser…
— Attends ! Tu ne peux pas dire ça. Je suis sûr qu'Apo t'aime, j'ai vu en elle comme en Hinata, et elle t'aime, cria Sanji.
— Tu dis ça parce que tu es en colère, ou peut-être pour que je te foute la paix ! Mais ne t'inquiète pas, tu vas aimer, Zoro n'est pas le seul homme à savoir faire l'amour. Maintenant, si ça peut te rassurer, tu peux penser à lui, voire crier son nom si tu veux, m'en fous complètement !
Il se leva et se dirigea vers Sanji qui, horrifié, m'appelait à l'aide. Je lui répondis que les secours arrivaient et qu'il devait tenir bon. Pendant ce temps, Cro se rapprocha de Sanji et colla son sexe en érection contre les fesses de ce dernier, toujours positionné à quatre pattes. Cro s'allongea sur le dos du cuistot, passa sa main sous son bassin pour lui saisir la verge et la branler.
Pour le jeune blond, la situation devenait de plus en plus difficile à gérer, une palette d'émotions aussi large que confuse lui venait à l'esprit en pensant à Cro – comment en était-il arrivé là ? Mais en pensant aussi à la position dans laquelle il était et le trouble qui commençait à l'assaillir : ça devenait presque agréable tellement l'homme-sable était doux dans ses actions. Sanji s'en voulait de gémir de plaisir, sans compter l'érection qui pointait sous les assauts de Cro. L'homme au crochet savait y faire visiblement pour l'exciter : souffle chaud dans la nuque, oreille mordillée, il ne semblait rien laisser au hasard.
Cro finit par murmurer :
— Tu peux crier. Ne te retiens pas. Appelle-le. Tu tiens à lui, peut-être qu'il viendra.
— Va te faire… cria Sanji.
Puis il se sentit partir, il ne put se retenir et articula à voix haute :
— Zoro !
— Oui, répondit un homme.
Tout d'abord un silence de plomb surpris Sanji et Cro, puis ils levèrent la tête vers la porte et virent un homme affublé de trois sabres qui entrait dans la pièce. Cro se mit alors à rire :
— Elle t'a envoyé toi ? Tu vois Sanji quand on y croit avec tout son cœur, nos rêves peuvent se réaliser. Tu l'appelles, il arrive.
Tout en parlant, Cro continuait de masturber Sanji. Celui-ci enfouit son visage entre ses mains, honteux d'être ainsi vu par Zoro.
L'homme aux cheveux verts, lui, regardait le spectacle. Il s'avança vers Cro, dégaina un sabre et le fit tomber d'un coup franc sur lui.
L'homme-sable se dématérialisa pour apparaître derrière Zoro. Il le délesta de ses sabres et continuait de rire. Zoro était furieux mais se contenait.
Peu avant qu'il n'arrive sur les lieux, je lui avais expliqué la situation, et surtout qu'il devait rester le plus calme possible : il récupérait Sanji et s'en retournait à l'hôtel tranquillement.
Mais là, il n'en pouvait plus, alors il fit volte-face, regarda Cro droit dans les yeux et cria :
— Qu'est-ce que tu veux enfoiré ? Tu crois que je vais te laisser faire du mal à l'homme que j'aime ? Te laisser rire de ce que tu lui fais subir ?
— Ce que je veux ? demanda Cro d'un ton interrogateur. Eh bien ! ça dépend de ce que tu es prêt à me donner pour l'homme que tu aimes ?
— Ne rentre pas dans son jeu, demanda Sanji.
— Laisse je m'en occupe. Eh bien tout sauf lui, tu ne le touches plus, cria Zoro.
— Alors je peux te toucher ? fit Cro en s'approchant de son oreille tout en lui caressant la joue.
— Non, cria Sanji, tu ne touches plus personne.
— Je vois… Alors il ne reste qu'une option. Es-tu prêt à faire la même chose que les gamins cette nuit ? Du moins la première partie.
— Oui, si tu promets que tu ne fais que regarder.
— De quoi parlez-vous ? demanda Zoro.
Sanji raconta ce que lui avait confié Cro sur la nuit dernière. Zoro fut surpris et révolté. Quant à Cro, il souriait du mépris qui se dessinait sur le visage du bretteur. Il tenait impérativement à ce que nous soyons spectatrices de ce nouveau drame : continuer à nous faire mal à travers ceux que nous chérissons le plus.
— Très bien, si tu me promets qu'après on peut partir tranquille. De toute façon, je ne peux rien contre toi. Vu l'état de ces hommes, l'un de nous pourrait y rester, et ce n'est pas le but. Elles en seraient attristées. Je pense qu'on n'a pas le choix, vu qu'elles m'ont demandé de ne pas te faire de mal et de revenir entier avec Sanji, expliqua Zoro.
— Eh bien, tu es un bon chien, tu auras un « nonos », rigola Cro.
— Je la respecte, c'est tout. Elle t'aime, alors je fais un effort. Et comme je lui dois mon bonheur d'être avec Sanji, je l'écoute. Ta colère t'aveugle. Je ne sais pas ce qui s'est passé pour que l'homme que tu étais sur le bateau ait disparu au profit de cet homme méprisable, mais je lui fais confiance. Tu peux dire ce que tu veux, rajouta Zoro.
— Bien ! Alors, encule ton homme qu'on en finisse.
— Urusei ! Pas comme ça, détache-le ! De plus, étant encore drogué, il ne sera pas capable d'utiliser ses jambes contre toi.
— Ok, fit Cro.
L'homme-sable coupa les liens de Sanji avec son crochet et l'attrapa sous un bras pour le projeter sur le lit.
— C'est mieux ainsi ? demanda-t-il en regardant Zoro.
Zoro se dirigea vers le lit sans répondre et se positionna au-dessus de son amant sans le toucher. Le bretteur détailla son homme, allongé sur le dos et qui détournait le regard. Le voir ainsi nu le faisait vibrer, il était si beau. Il le voulait, non pas que pour le libérer, mais aussi parce qu'il l'aimait, tout simplement. Il se pencha vers son oreille et lui murmura :
— Ne t'inquiète pas, je suis là maintenant, tout se passera bien. Je te ferai oublier ces mauvaises heures passées ici avec ces pirates et cet… énergumène… Faisons l'amour puisque c'est ce qu'il veut, et ensuite partons, tu veux bien ?
Il attrapa le visage de son amant et le bascula vers lui pour l'embrasser sur la bouche. Il vit des larmes rouler sur les joues du jeune blond. Pendant qu'il les léchait, il entendit un murmure :
— Baka, je ne te mérite pas Marimo.
— Ne dit pas ça, Love Cook.
— Je t'aime Zoro.
Après un nouveau baiser sur la bouche, Zoro descendit le long de la gorge de Sanji. Ses lèvres glissaient sur le corps de Sanji, lentes et sensuelles. Elles s'attardèrent un moment sur ses aréoles, les mordillant légèrement du bout des dents, les titillant par petits à-coups du bout de la langue. Sanji montait au septième ciel, émettant de petits cris aigus prouvant une fois de plus le savoir-faire de son homme. Ces mêmes lèvres continuèrent leur exploration sur le corps du cuistot, s'amusant cette fois avec le nombril du jeune homme, puis elles descendirent au niveau du bassin, faisant comme le tour des hanches pour finir leur course droit sur la verge de Sanji qu'elles gobèrent sans demander leur reste pour lui faire une fellation.
Poussant de petits cris de plaisir, Sanji s'agitait sous Zoro, excité par la pipe que lui taillait ce dernier. Zoro, stimulé par la situation, décida de passer à l'étape suivante : il délaissa le pénis de son amant pour se diriger vers son anus et lécher. Zoro entreprit d'y introduire un premier doigt, ce qui fit réagir Sanji de manière vive avant qu'il n'esquisse un sourire de béatitude. Exalté, il en introduisit un second, et travailla bien son anus pour qu'il soit prêt à l'accueillir. Au bout de quelques minutes, sentant Sanji au bord de l'extase, il retira ses doigts et le pénétra de son sexe en érection.
Il plaqua son torse contre celui de son aimé, accentuant les mouvements de son bassin. Il entrait et sortait avec douceur, mais non sans une certaine frénésie, de la gangue que lui offrait le corps de Sanji. Ce dernier, bercé par les va-et-vient de son homme et les quelques paroles réconfortantes qu'il lui susurrait, commença à se sentir venir et jouissait de plus en plus fort. Puis, de concert après s'être longuement retenus, les deux hommes crièrent de plaisir, assez fort pour en secouer les murs autour d'eux.
N'oubliant pas pour autant leur contrat avec Cro, leurs voix rauques emplies de bonheur lancèrent un « Crocodile » suffisamment puissant pour avoir été entendu à des miles à la ronde. Une fois qu'il eut joui en Sanji, Zoro se retira pour s'allonger à ses côtés. Satisfait, Cro souriait, mais il comprit que ce n'était pas fini quand il vit le jeune blond à califourchon sur le bassin du bretteur aux cheveux verts. En voyant ça, l'homme-sable se délecta de la situation.
Sanji offrit son plus beau sourire à son amant, puis après l'avoir embrassé, il lui dit tout bas :
— Merci… à moi maintenant.
— Sanji, tu sais, on peut partir ?
— Non, il ne voudra pas. Et puis il n'y a que nous deux… et je sais que tu en as envie autant que moi, ajouta-t-il avec un clin d'œil.
— Oui… juste nous deux mon amour, répondit-il en souriant.
Sanji acquiesça d'un signe de tête, souriant comme si c'était le plus beau moment de sa vie. Tout en caressant le corps de son homme, il le dévorait de baisers. Il était déjà prêt à le pénétrer, son érection n'étant pas retombée. Il se déplaça assez rapidement vers l'anus de Zoro, l'humidifia avec sa langue puis y introduisit ses doigts. Zoro claqua des doigts, ce qui signifiait pour Sanji la possibilité de passer à la phase suivante, et cela l'amusait fortement. L'épéiste avait pris cette fâcheuse manie de claquer des doigts quand il s'impatientait, aussi Sanji reprit les choses en main et pénétra son homme qui se cambra de plaisir. Sanji attrapa la verge de Zoro dans sa main, mais son amant le repoussa. Le ramenant vers sa bouche en lui agrippant la nuque, il lui roula une pelle jusqu'à ce qu'ils ne puissent plus respirer. Sanji continuait à se mouvoir en Zoro en accélérant la cadence. Puis très rapidement, les deux hommes jouirent. Exténué, encore un peu groggy par la drogue qui lui a été administrée, Sanji s'allongea à nouveau près de Zoro.
— Eh bien merci messieurs, vous êtes libres, fit Cro.
Alors qu'il s'apprêtait à partir, il entendit du bruit venant de l'extérieur. Je profitais d'avoir mon corps astral pour regarder dehors, et ainsi répondre à ses interrogations :
— _Les garçons, vous m'entendez ? Des marines arrivent. Vite partez ! Prenez la porte dérobée à coté de vous. Cro, rentre tous les corps dans la cabane. Je m'occupe du reste. Dépêchez-vous de m'amener Sanji ! Pour que je retire rapidement la drogue de son corps._
— Zoro habille-toi. J'aide Sanji, c'est bon. Plus le temps de s'amuser, faut déguerpir avant qu'ils n'arrivent, ordonna Cro.
D'une première main de sable, Cro commença par rentrer tous les corps des pirates morts qui jonchaient le sol à l'extérieur de la cabane, ensuite il attrapa les vêtements de Sanji pour l'aider à se rhabiller et le mit sur son épaule tout en agrippant Zoro – rhabillé lui aussi – d'une autre main de sable pour entraîner tout ce beau monde le plus rapidement possible vers la sortie.
Ils se faufilèrent loin de la cabane cachés par les arbres. Tout à coup, un gros bruit et des cris retentirent : la cabane avait explosé peu avant l'arrivée des marines. Ces derniers avaient hurlé en entendant l'explosion, se couchant à terre pour éviter d'être soufflés.
Les trois hommes poursuivaient leur route à couvert en direction de l'hôtel.
22. Chapter 19
**Bonjour à tous et toutes, **
**Je publie aujourd'hui l'avant dernier chapitre. Il restera donc le dernier chapitre et l'épilogue. Pour ce soir si vous n'aimez pas les lemons corsés passez votre chemin, car il n'y a que ça. Ce sera plus calme sur les deux derniers chapitres****. **
**Sinon avec Sam-Elias on écrit des fictions à quatre mains. On va donc créer un nouveau compte pour publier ensemble, dès que ce sera corrigé, ce qui peut prendre du temps. Mais je vous en reparlerais plus tard. Je voulais juste vous dire que je serais sur un autre compte avec des histoires sur One pièce, Gangsta, Saint-Seiya, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle et d'autres. **
**Chapitre 19 : Reconstructions.**
Les trois hommes arrivèrent dans ma chambre vers 20 heures. Benjamin et Quatre étaient avec moi, assis sur le lit. J'avais pris soin de soigner la blessure du jeune brun, même si je pouvais à peine bouger. En effet, il m'était vraiment très difficile de me lever du lit, et encore moins de tenir debout. Crocodile s'avança vers ma couche pour y déposer Sanji qui était encore coincé sur son épaule. Je conviai les deux jeunes garçons à aller se laver. Je ne désirais ni les voir assister à la suite, ni qu'ils quittent ma chambre. Cro attendit qu'ils soient dans la salle de bain pour monter sur le lit. Il se mit à quatre pattes au-dessus de Sanji et dit :
— Autre lieu, autre jeu. Maintenant on passe aux choses sérieuses, blondinet.
— Arrête ! Tu as eu ce que tu voulais, je t'ai observé. Ils ont fait ce que tu leur demandais. Alors laisse-moi soigner Sanji, qu'ils partent ! C'est entre nous maintenant, criai-je.
Cro me regarda en souriant puis roula une pelle à Sanji. Le bretteur se jeta sur lui, mais l'homme-sable l'attrapa au vol, le plaquant sur le lit à côté de son ami. Il les enjamba tous les deux et resserra son étreinte autour de leurs tailles. Il leur susurra :
— Un plan à trois devant Hinata, ça vous dit ? En plus là, on peut être sûr que cela va lui plaire. Trois hommes, pour elle, c'est le must.
— Fous-leur la paix ! Je suis assez nourrie, si tu fais allusion à cela. De plus, ils n'ont rien fait. J'ai compris le message, m'insurgeai-je.
— Assez nourrie !? Mais bien sûr ! Tu tiens à peine debout. Je suis sûr que si tu leur demandais, ils le feraient sans hésiter, tellement ils te sont dévoués corps et âme, hein ? ajouta Cro dans un grand éclat de rire à leur intention.
— Laisse-les partir ! ordonnai-je.
— Qu'est-ce qui te fait peur ? Qu'ils ne t'aiment plus parce que tu leur demandes de faire un truc à trois ? À moins que… Non, tu ne serais pas jalouse quand même ? Tu sais que tu peux participer si tu veux.
— Arrête ! C'est indécent et tu te ridiculises encore plus, soupirai-je.
— Haha ! Alors les garçons, vous la laissez tomber ? … Vous pouvez partir, mais qui sait ce que je lui ferais à elle ou aux deux autres.
Cro jouait sur tous les fronts : il savait pertinemment que les garçons feraient tout et n'importe quoi du moment que ça m'était bénéfique, et comme il voyait que je manquais d'énergie, il profita de la situation pour s'amuser avec eux et se jouer d'eux.
— Urusei ! Ne les touche plus. C'est bon, on va le faire, gueula Zoro.
— NON ! Hurlai-je. Cro, descends de là tout de suite et libère-les ! Zoro, prends Sanji avec toi et allez-vous en ! exigeai-je.
— On reste et on le fait, annonça Sanji d'une voix ferme. On n'est plus à ça près. De plus, Cro a raison tu en as besoin. Donc, si Zoro est d'accord, moi aussi, ajouta-t-il.
Zoro acquiesça d'un hochement de tête.
— À la bonne heure… fit Cro en souriant.
Il était arrivé à ses fins par le simple biais de la culpabilité qu'auraient pu éprouver les garçons à ne pas prendre soin de moi comme je le faisais pour eux.
Cro embrassa de nouveau le jeune blond, puis embrassa le jeune homme aux cheveux verts. Il se releva, fit tomber son manteau par terre, puis fit signe aux garçons de commencer sans lui.
Les deux autres se regardèrent, s'embrassèrent et commencèrent à se caresser. Tout en embrassant Sanji, Zoro lui déboutonnait la chemise et se disait qu'il ferait bien l'amour à ce corps si viril, si longiligne des heures, des jours durant, tellement il paraissait parfait à ses yeux.
Rien que d'y penser, cela l'excitait il dévorait ses lèvres de baisers profonds et langoureux. Puis il repoussa doucement Sanji sur le dos pour le chevaucher.
Le jeune homme aux cheveux verts enleva la chemise, lui embrassa la gorge, puis descendit sur ses clavicules, son torse et ses aréoles. Sanji s'agitait, se contorsionnait, poussait de petits cris de plaisir tellement il était transporté par le jeu de Zoro.
L'épéiste se débarrassa de leurs pantalons, écarta les jambes du cuistot et se mit à genoux devant lui. Cro profita de l'instant pour se rapprocher du bretteur et le surplomber de toute sa hauteur bien qu'à genoux lui-aussi. Ses bras caressèrent le torse de Zoro, puis au moment où ils allaient s'intéresser un peu plus au corps du cuistot, l'épéiste attrapa le bras au crochet et ajouta sans détour :
— Sanji est à moi. Tu me fais ce que tu veux mais lui, il est à moi. Je lui ai promis que je serais le seul homme à lui faire l'amour. Et je tiendrai ma promesse.
— Ok… mais moi, je ne promets rien… fit Cro en ramenant ses bras vers l'épéiste tout en esquissant un sourire narquois.
Les deux hommes échangèrent un regard entendu. Puis Zoro embrassa son amant sur les lèvres et lui murmura à l'oreille :
— Je tiendrai ma parole. Tu n'es qu'à moi. Je ne laisserai personne te faire du mal.
Pour un meilleur confort, Zoro fit déplacer Sanji un peu plus vers la tête du lit. Ainsi installés, ils avaient tout le lit à leur disposition et Zoro pu reprendre les préliminaires.
Cro les regardait faire tout en se masturbant. Je n'aurais jamais cru qu'il prenne autant de plaisir à dévorer des yeux une telle scène – je sentais monter son désir de plus en plus vite, de plus en plus fort. Puis le bretteur, à quatre pattes, se mit à lécher l'anus de son homme afin de bien le préparer pour ce qui allait venir. Par mimétisme, Cro fit de même avec Zoro.
Je restais là, assise tant bien que mal sur un fauteuil à côté du lit, à observer ces trois hommes en pleine action. Je n'étais pas franchement satisfaite de la tournure que prenaient les choses, néanmoins Cro avait raison sur un point, j'étais trop faible pour faire quoi que ce soit et leurs actes ici et maintenant auraient un impact plus que positif sur ma santé. Je devais reconnaître que cette nourriture était un peu particulière, mais elle avait le mérite de faire son office.
Pareils à des chenilles processionnaires, les trois hommes étaient placés de telle façon que Cro léchait l'anus de Zoro qui léchait celui de Sanji. Puis celui du milieu entreprit de pénétrer son amant, doucement d'abord, attendant comme un signe de ce dernier pour poursuivre. Il commença de petits va-et-vient jusqu'à ce que l'homme-sable lui-même décide de prendre l'épéiste. Là, tout s'arrêta net.
Puis Cro donna un nouveau ton à leur partie à trois, entraînant Zoro dans un mouvement synchrone. En fin de parcours, Sanji se laissait porter par leurs déhanchés : les sensations étaient étonnamment bonnes, jouissives même, comme si ces deux-là le prenaient en même temps.
Zoro lui ne savait plus où donner de la tête. Il n'avait jamais pensé expérimenter un jour cette position, prendre et être pris. Et malgré les réticences qu'il avait eu à l'égard de Cro, son idée n'était pas si mauvaise. Il se disait même que les deux autres devraient essayer, ne serait-ce qu'une fois, pour éprouver les mêmes émotions que celles qu'il ressentait en ce moment-même. Les gémissements de plus en plus aigus de ses acolytes annonçaient qu'ils n'allaient pas tarder à venir, et lui-même se sentit partir avec eux, dans un puissant râle à trois voix qui se propagea dans tout l'hôtel.
Allongés de part et d'autre du cuistot, ils semblaient se vider de toute leur force. Puis le rire de Crocodile s'éleva et raisonna dans toute la pièce. Il y avait pris autant de plaisir que moi et j'étais à présent abasourdie par les vagues de plaisir que je ressentais et qui arrivaient de chacun d'eux. Le rire de Crocodile se déversa sur ma peau, comme une douche d'eau chaude qui se répand et vous enveloppe d'une sensation de bien-être et de sécurité.
J'avais envie de faire l'amour avec eux, mais je restais là, assise, à les regarder, signe que ma faim était loin d'être rassasiée. J'en voulais encore plus, toujours plus. Et comme si Zoro avait lu en moi, je le vis se redresser et embrasser Sanji avec un sourire qui en disait long sur ses intentions. Cro s'amusait toujours autant de la situation, et son rire à gorge déployée inondait toujours la chambre.
— Sanji, il faut vraiment que tu essaies la position du milieu, je suis sûr que ça va te plaire. Cro, si tu tiens à continuer à jouer avec nous, il faudra que tu suives nos règles, c'est d'accord ? décréta Zoro.
— Je t'écoute. Je m'amuse bien, alors je vais vous suivre, ria l'homme-sable.
— Sanji, tu seras entre Cro – à quatre pattes – et moi qui te prendrai. Je n'oublie pas ma promesse, fit-il accompagné d'un clin d'œil. Puis quand Cro passera au milieu, c'est moi qu'il prendra, toi tu ne bougeras pas de place.
— Tu tiens ta promesse certes, il n'empêche que je vais le toucher à chaque fois, ton homme ! ajouta Cro d'un regard insistant sur Sanji accompagné d'un sourire narquois.
— Urusei ! fit Zoro. C'est comme ça ou on arrête tout !
— Tout me va… Et toi beau blond ? Finalement, c'est toi que ça concerne, précisa Cro.
— Je suis d'accord, répondit-il en s'accrochant au buste de Zoro qui le surplombait.
Zoro baissa alors les yeux vers lui et demanda :
— Tu vas bien ? Tu as l'air bizarre… J'ai fait quelque chose de mal ? Tu veux qu'on arrête ?
— Non, je… euh…
— Qu'est-ce qu'il y a ? Parle, tu sais que tu peux tout me dire, précisa Zoro un peu perplexe par le brusque changement d'humeur de son amant.
— Rien, s'empressa Sanji de préciser en revirant son expression du visage, c'est juste toi, ta présence, ton assurance face à tout ça, je crois que pour la première fois je suis réellement touché par ta personne, je me sens bien, en sécurité auprès de toi…
Zoro sourit pour le rassurer.
— Ne sois pas si impressionné ! Tu n'aurais pas été drogué cet après-midi, tu aurais autant d'assurance que moi…
Sanji acquiesça d'un mouvement de tête.
Cro restait en retrait de leur conversation et j'en étais la première étonnée. Lui qui semblait toujours si sûr de lui me donnait l'impression qu'un revirement s'était produit en lui. Et je ne m'étais pas trompé, à voir sa tête quand il se tourna vers moi, je compris que sa fureur s'était enfin dissipée et que pour le bonheur d'Apo et de ses sœurs, il ferait tout pour nous aider.
Il se retourna vers les garçons et lâcha un simple :
— Merci.
Un peu surpris, les garçons le regardèrent puis se mirent à rire avec lui de la situation.
Revigoré, Sanji alla se placer derrière Cro pour le préparer à ce qui allait suivre. Zoro quant à lui se plaça derrière son homme, le prépara également et rapidement eut envie de le prendre. Sanji l'avait légèrement anticipé et venait de pénétrer Cro quand il sentit Zoro en lui.
Les garçons étaient si excités qu'ils ne prenaient même plus le temps de passer par de longs préliminaires. Sanji se mit à gémir puis accéléra la cadence de ses mouvements, vivement suivi par Zoro qui se déchaîna en lui. Il espérait tant que Sanji ressente le même émoi que celui qu'il eut peu de temps avant quand il se trouvait à la même place. D'ailleurs, chaque son émit par Sanji amplifiait le plaisir de Zoro.
Quant à Cro, il était au septième ciel, insistant auprès des garçons pour qu'ils accélèrent la cadence et qu'ils ne prennent aucun gant avec lui. Tout comme l'avait vécu Sanji tout à l'heure, il éprouvait la sensation que les deux hommes le pénétraient en même temps.
Quand les trois hommes s'abandonnèrent, ils furent envahis d'une grande félicité et leurs cris résonnèrent dans toute la chambre en un seul son rauque et sourd. Sanji et Zoro retombèrent de part et autre de Cro, épuisés le souffle court, ils haletaient allongés sur le dos. Ils voulaient parler mais mettaient toute leur énergie à reprendre leur respiration.
Crocodile aussi avait du mal à respirer, il avait mis toute sa voix dans ce cri de jouissance, toutefois, il riait doucement, satisfait de la tournure des événements. Entre deux respirations difficiles Zoro attrapa Cro et l'attira à lui le positionnant à cheval au-dessus de lui. Il l'embrassa mais faillit s'étouffer. Il rit et précisa toujours aussi essoufflé :
— Hinata ! Va falloir nous aider je crois ! Et c'est maintenant ou jamais !
— Je suis d'accord, ajouta Sanji en se relevant tant bien que mal et en se plaçant derrière Cro.
Tout en souriant, je m'efforçai de leur venir en aide, ce qui était paradoxal car j'attendais d'eux qu'ils rechargent mes batteries !
Zoro se rapprocha de Cro et l'embrassa goulument avant de s'agripper à Sanji pour l'embrasser lui aussi avec force. S'allongeant sur le dos, il les plaqua tous les deux contre son torse tout en continuant à embrasser son amant.
Je les regardais faire tous les trois, en état de transe et prenant leur pied. Cro s'aventura vers la gorge de Zoro pour y glisser quelques baisers, puis sentant des lèvres se balader le long de son échine, il stoppa net et fixa Zoro d'un air perplexe.
— Laisse le faire. Il reprend de l'assurance, lui susurra le bretteur. Tu verras ce que je te dis : tu devrais vraiment jouir de la place du milieu, car quand Sanji est en forme, c'est incomparable, ajouta-t-il avec un clin d'œil.
Cro ne s'attendait pas à un tel revirement de situation, lui qui ne cherchait qu'à exploiter et à humilier les garçons, comme il l'avait fait la veille avec Benjamin et Quatre, se retrouvait dans une partie de jambes en l'air à trois comme si de rien n'était et en plus il y prenait du plaisir… Beaucoup de plaisir même, car il en redemandait sans cesse !
Cro se prenait même au jeu des préliminaires, mordillant Zoro à peu près partout où il pouvait avoir une prise sur le corps de ce dernier. Et l'épéiste était aux anges, cambrant un peu plus son torse à chaque à-coup de l'homme-sable. Puis ce fut à son tour d'être stimulé par les mains et la langue expertes du cuistot, au point que Cro se cambrait lui aussi d'excitation.
Sanji finit par ramener son attention sur son homme en suçant ses doigts, puis il lui murmura :
— Cela ne fait que commencer. Et comme tu as respecté nos volontés, on va te remercier comme il se doit.
Jubilant, Zoro laissait courir ses doigts sur le torse de Cro tandis que Sanji s'occupait du dos de l'homme au crochet.
Idéalement positionné entre les deux amants, Cro se délectait de leurs coups de langues bien maîtrisés sur ses parties intimes et des caresses de leurs mains sur le reste de son corps. Il était comme transporté, enivré par l'excitation qu'il ressentait. « _C'est magique ! _» se disait-il, « _Aucune femme – à part peut-être Apo – ne m'avait fait ressentir de telles émotions en faisant l'amour_ ». Et même en cet instant, il se demandait si Apo lui avait permis d'atteindre une telle extase.
Zoro s'arrêta avant que Cro ne jouisse trop vite, il tenait à ce qu'il vive cette expérience du « milieu ». Allongé devant lui, il attendait une réaction de l'homme-sable. Ce dernier était tenté de lui prodiguer les mêmes attentions, mais l'excitation était trop forte pour attendre davantage et il le pénétra sans ménagement. Sanji en fit de même avec lui, et il lui laissa le soin de rythmer leurs ébats. Zoro ressentit une forte érection à ce moment-là et exigea des deux autres qu'ils accélèrent la cadence et très vite les trois hommes jouirent en même temps.
L'homme-sable et le cuistot étaient à présent allongés de part et d'autre du bretteur qui n'avait pas bougé. Ce dernier se rapprocha de son homme pour savourer cet instant de félicité. Tout ce sexe m'avait bien rassasiée pour le moment, mes batteries étaient vraiment à plat avec toutes ces négociations et ces émotions causées notamment par Cro. Je me devais d'être plus vigilante à l'avenir pour ne pas me laisser déborder aussi vite. Je fis le tour de la pièce du regard et ne tardai pas à trouver d'où venait cette vague subite d'émotions négatives envers Cro justement. Mes yeux se posèrent aux pieds du lit, là où Benjamin et Quatre nous observaient sagement depuis trop longtemps :
— Quatre, Benjamin ! je…
Tout le monde se regarda dans le blanc des yeux, les trois hommes nus assis sur le lit, les deux jeunes près du lit et moi, les mains devant la bouche, mortifiée par ce que je venais de faire.
Partagés entre désir et rage, les yeux de Quatre me transpercèrent telles des lances et je compris vite pourquoi : son empathie était telle qu'il n'arrivait plus à gérer quoi que ce soit il ressentit la même vague de bonheur que moi, mais s'en retrouvait submergé.
— Je te déteste ! lança-t-il à Cro plein de rage. Toi et tes jeux stupides… Regarde-moi ! Je n'arrive même plus à penser par moi-même…
— Calme-toi Quatre. Tu me fais peur quand tu es comme ça, se plaignit Benjamin.
— C'est de sa faute ! C'est lui qui me rend comme ça, ajouta-t-il en pointant Cro du doigt, comme hier soir !
Puis se tournant vers moi :
— Pourquoi je n'arrive plus à me contenir ? cria-t-il.
— C'est vrai que nous devions nous en occuper… Désolée, je me suis laissée déborder par les derniers événements. On va s'en occuper tout de suite, car même si je peux avoir des difficultés moi-aussi parfois, j'ai plus d'expérience pour me maîtriser, mais pour toi il faut rebâtir tes défenses et…
Mais déjà il ne m'écoutait plus, avançant droit vers le lit, partagé entre l'envie de faire l'amour et celle de tuer Cro. Benjamin sauta sur lui pour le plaquer contre le lit. Quatre se débattait farouchement, mais le jeune brun le maintenait fermement, dos contre le matelas et les mains bloquées au-dessus de la tête. Quatre voulut crier mais Benjamin l'embrassa goulument puis lâcha à haute voix :
— Fous-lui la paix et occupe-toi de moi ! Je ne suis pas empathique, pour autant ce spectacle me donne des envies ! Alors faisons d'abord l'amour et après tu pourras lui casser la gueule si tu veux !
Ses jambes enroulées autour de Benjamin, Quatre roula sur le lit pour échanger leur place.
Il commença par l'embrasser sur la bouche, puis le dévora de baisers sur chaque centimètre carré de sa peau. L'extase soulevait le corps du jeune brun à chaque coup de langue de son amant il lâchait çà et là de petits cris jouissifs et se délectait de l'instant présent, oubliant la chambre, ses occupants, jusqu'au Roi. C'était si bon !
Benjamin n'en pouvait plus, excité comme une puce par les préliminaires de Quatre. Et quand il le vit ce dernier se diriger vers son entrejambe, il se sentait prêt à l'accueillir en lui. Mais toujours rien, Quatre semblait tourner autour du pot sans vraiment s'y intéresser. Nous les regardions faire, hypnotisés par la grâce de leurs mouvements.
Finalement excédé par la lenteur de réaction de son amant, Benjamin prit les devants, et tout en lui attrapant le bras il ajouta :
— Quatre ! Arrête de jouer je t'en conjure… J'en peux plus… Prends-moi !
— Eh bien, il t'en aura fallu du temps pour me supplier.
Et tout en souriant, ravi de son effet, il se jeta goulument sur la verge de Benjamin qu'il suça avec tendresse et vigueur par alternance.
Le jeune blond souhaitait vraiment s'amuser avec son amant. Il continuait d'exalter grandement les sens de ce dernier en s'activant autour de sa verge, la cajolant et la malmenant à la fois, toujours dans un souci d'excitation pure et charnelle. Il poursuivit ses investigations autour de l'anus du jeune brun, introduisant un ou deux doigts par intermittence pour bien le préparer à ce qui allait suivre.
À chaque va-et-vient de Quatre, Benjamin poussait de petits cris de plaisir, et plus le premier mettait de vigueur dans ses mouvements, plus le dernier s'enflammait, peinant à retrouver son souffle. Il aimait cette brutalité latente chez son bien-aimé, pleine d'une tendresse éloignée de ce qu'il a pu vivre.
Les garçons jouirent et hurlèrent une dernière fois ensemble avant de s'écrouler. Après un dernier baiser sur la bouche, Quatre murmura :
— À ton tour, et surtout lâche tout ce que tu as !
Benjamin ne se le laissa pas conter deux fois, et quand il vit Quatre s'allonger sur le dos, il le retint fermement pour lui faire comprendre qu'il dirigerait lui-même les opérations. Ravi, le blondinet se laissa faire. Benjamin était encore tout affriolé par la scène vécue juste avant, qu'il ne put réfréner son envie de prendre Quatre immédiatement. Sous les à-coups bien maîtrisés de son prétendant, Quatre se sentait planer à mille lieues de la conférence et de tous ses enjeux. Il était dans un moment de transe épanouie.
Après ce moment d'extase, ils hurlèrent de plaisir, sortant le reste de la chambre de la béatitude dans laquelle ils les avaient plongés. Benjamin s'allongea alors aux côtés de Quatre, exténué.
— Waouh ! et ça dure depuis longtemps ? demanda un homme au pied du lit, des billes énormes à la place des yeux.
— Shanks, sifflai-je entre mes dents, toujours abasourdie par le spectacle offert par les deux jeunes hommes. Daz, toi aussi tu es là ?
— Que se passe-t-il ? demanda Daz.
— En bref, trois personnes ici ont été agressées, et deux autres également présentes sont venues les sauver.
— Très bien, mais ça n'explique pas cette orgie de sexe et la présence de Cro, nu, au milieu de nos amis gays ?!
— Euh… alors là, c'est un peu plus complexe, en effet…
Je ne savais plus par quel bout prendre cette histoire sans trop compromettre Cro justement…
— C'est tout simple, fit une voix d'homme assez puissante.
Tout le monde se retourna pour voir de qui ça venait.
Toujours aussi nu et allongé sur le lit, Cro s'exprimait simplement :
— J'ai pété les plombs, fondu un fusible, disjoncté quoi ! Et il a fallu me recadrer !
— Par le sexe entre hommes ? s'étonna Shanks.
— Il faut croire, ajouta Cro tout aussi naturellement, avec un petit sourire en coin.
— Quatre ! fis-je pour recentrer l'attention de tout le monde. Il faut qu'on s'occupe de reconstruire nos barrières mentales et vite !
— Très bien, mais comment fait-on ? demanda-t-il.
— Disons que… comment faire simple ? Je connais une technique mentale qui permet cette opération de reconstruction des barrières mentales pour moi et pour… mon amant ! Il faut donc que nous fassions l'amour tous les deux car je me suis rendue compte que ma force augmentait bien plus à ce moment-là. Et si tout le monde s'y met, j'aurai suffisamment de force pour consolider nos barrières respectives.
— Comment ça tout le monde ? firent Quatre et Shanks en même temps, plutôt gênés par mes propos.
— Les huit personnes qui sont dans la pièce, ce serait parfait.
Je sentais sur moi l'ensemble des sept paires d'yeux qui m'entouraient et qui cherchaient à me fusiller du regard. Piquant un fard, je baissais un peu les yeux tout en souriant, puis me repris pour leur expliquer.
— C'est tout simple, tout se joue dans un rapport de force pendant l'acte sexuel. En faisant passer mon pouvoir à travers chacun d'entre vous, vous allez naturellement riposter et m'attaquer, votre être se sentant menacé. C'est sur ce jeu de force que je m'appuie pour reconstruire mes barrières protectrices. Comme je dois aussi m'occuper de celles de Quatre, vous ne serez pas de trop pour m'aider. Plus il y aura de riposte, plus je serai forte. Et j'aurai besoin de protections bien solides pour affronter la suite de nos aventures.
Tous hochèrent la tête pour signifier qu'ils avaient compris le principe, alors je poursuivis :
— Bien entendu, je n'oblige personne à participer, d'autant plus que je vais devoir utiliser le corps d'Apo – désolée Cro – mais j'utiliserai un autre visage. Prendre mon propre corps à l'âge adulte risquerait de m'épuiser inutilement…
— Je comprends, firent à l'unisson Cro et Shanks.
Les deux hommes se toisèrent quelques secondes pendant que le reste de l'assemblée opinait du chef pour montrer qu'ils suivraient tous.
— Viens par-là Quatre, lui dis-je en m'approchant du lit. Crois-moi, je suis tout aussi navrée que toi et j'aimerais vraiment faire autrement, mais c'est la meilleure solution pour que ça fonctionne durablement.
— Pas de problème, dit-il.
Tout le monde se regroupa autour de nous. Je pris finalement le corps que je destinais à Léna et je leur expliquai comment il fallait se placer pour que les connexions se fassent correctement. Chacun prit sa place après concertation.
Cro s'allongea sur le dos, je me plaçai sur son torse dos à lui pour qu'il me pénètre analement. Shanks se positionna au-dessus de moi pour me pénétrer vaginalement. Quant à Daz, il mettrait sa verge dans ma bouche.
Les quatre autres m'ont posé un peu plus de problème pour les placer. En effet, d'une ils sont homosexuels – à part peut-être Sanji qui irait encore à voile et à vapeur comme on dit, et encore, ça resterait à prouver – et de deux, la promesse de Zoro faite à son homme, je ne pouvais décemment pas aller contre. Je les plaçai donc comme suit : Quatre aux côtés de Cro et Benjamin aux côtés de Shanks pour qu'ils excitent leur intimité Zoro s'occuperait de Daz, quant à Sanji – pour les raisons évoquées ci-dessus –, je le gardais pour jouer avec ma poitrine.
À présent que chacun était à sa place, il était important que tout le monde suive le rythme et la distance pour me laisser le temps d'opérer sur nos barrières protectrices avant que tout le monde ne jouisse en même temps, ce qui serait une sorte d'apothéose !
En guise d'étincelle, j'insufflai en chacun de nous une once de mon pouvoir, et le désir s'enflamma comme un feu de cheminée. Nos corps s'enchevêtraient les uns dans les autres, nos soupirs, nos cris se fondaient en un seul son, une seule jouissance. Je mis une bonne heure à reconstruire nos barrières, contrôlant chaque mouvement de mes amants.
Exténués qu'ils étaient, je les laissais s'abandonner à leurs désirs. Tout le monde finit par jouir de concert, et d'une seule voix, s'élevèrent nos cris raisonnant dans tout l'hôtel. Puis, comme une tempête qui s'arrête subitement, tout retomba sur le matelas ou au sol, corps, voix, extase.
— Merci à tous…
C'est tout ce que je réussis à dire avant de m'effondrer.
— Oui merci… me voici enfin seul dans mon corps et dans mon esprit, ajouta Quatre.
On l'entendit soupirer de plaisir avant qu'il ne s'endorme.
Benjamin s'installa dans ses bras, il lui chuchota quelques mots à l'oreille en riant doucement. Il l'embrassa et s'endormit à son tour. Tous les hommes s'endormaient les uns après les autres.
Quand je voulus me lever, Cro me serra contre lui. J'étais encore allongée sur son torse, telle un doudou.
— Où vas-tu ? demanda-t-il.
— Je vais prendre une douche. Je ne sais pas si t'as remarqué, mais vous vous êtes tous déversés sur moi ou en moi, sauf Shanks qui portait un préservatif.
— Hum ? Pas faux, dit-il en m'observant.
Il m'aida à glisser le long de son flan. Je rampais vers le fond du lit pour sauter à terre. Mes forces m'ayant intégralement quittée, je ne pouvais garder aucun contrôle sur mes faits et gestes. _Plus de pouvoir non plus d'ailleurs, la barbe_ pensai-je. Après m'être écroulée deux fois suite à mes tentatives pour tenir debout et marcher jusqu'à la salle de bain, je sentis quelque chose de granuleux me saisir à la taille. Une main de sable m'agrippa et me souleva jusqu'à Cro et Shanks, me déposant entre eux, bien au chaud, chacun d'eux posant sa main sur moi pour me protéger.
— Tu t'en occuperas demain, me fit remarquer Cro.
— De toute façon, tu n'es pas en état d'y aller, conclut Shanks.
En guise de réponse, je poussais un profond soupir de résignation.
Cela fit sourire les garçons, puis on finit par s'endormir comme le reste de la chambrée.
23. Chapter 20
**Bonsoir à tous, **
**Je vous remercie une fois encore de venir me lire. Ce chapitre est l'avant dernier et le mois prochain il y aura l'épilogue. J'espère que vous aimerez ce chapitre. Je vous dis au mois prochain. Bonne lecture. Ah et avec Sam-Elias nous avons créé un nouveau compte au nom de Sam-Craft, bientôt nous y publieront notre première fiction écrite à quatre mains. J'espère vous y retrouver. Biz à bientôt Peacecraft31. **
**Chapitre 20 : Le troisième jour du sommet**
On se réveilla versdix heures, et malgré le peu d'heures que nous avions dormi, cela semblait suffisant.
Dans une sorte de ballet parfaitement exécuté et synchronisé, nous nous préparions, chacun de nous se mouvant dans la chambre comme s'il y avait toujours eu sa place.
Une fois prêts, nous sommes descendus prendre notre petit déjeuner là où tout le monde était encore attablé.
— On a un problème, dit Smoker en me regardant.
— Lequel ? J'ai un peu déconnecté de la réalité dernièrement.
— Certains de mes hommes sont morts. Une cabane a explosé dans les hauteurs de la ville, et on a retrouvé leurs cadavres dedans.
— J'en suis navrée, mais je ne vois pas où est le problème ?
— Ils étaient avec des pirates et cette explosion me paraît suspecte. De plus je ne sais pas pourquoi ils étaient là-bas avec ces pirates.
— Je comprends. À priori, la première chose à faire serait de faire rapatrier leurs corps auprès de leur famille et… Oh ! Et en parlant de ça, Aokiji, ça s'est bien passé avec la famille de la petite ?
— Oui bien sûr… Ils ont même envoyé un bouquet de fleurs en guise de remerciement… il était sur la table des négociations.
— Aaah ! C'était donc ça ! Il était très beau, ils n'auraient pas dû… Bien, fis-je après un silence gêné, allons manger j'ai un creux.
— Et pour mon problème ? demanda Smoker.
— Après manger. Ils sont morts, ils pourront attendre encore un peu, répondis-je.
— C'est moi ou j'ai l'impression que ça ne t'émeut pas plus que ça !? répliqua-t-il.
— Si bien sûr, mais je ne peux pas réfléchir le ventre vide et ça va bientôt faire vingt-quatre heures que je n'ai pas mangé.
— Oui bien sûr, dit-il peu convaincu.
En effet, vu les circonstances, j'étais peu émue de la perte de ces hommes, et il faudrait bien que je le lui explique à un moment ou à un autre, mais pour le moment, la priorité était à mon repas !
On s'approchait donc d'une table où on s'installa. Tous les yeux étaient rivés sur nous, et pour cause : Zoro tenait son homme par les épaules et l'embrassait sur la tête tandis que ce dernier le prenait par la taille Le comte et l'amant du Roi se tenaient à nos côtés, main dans la main, et se murmuraient des mots doux quant à moi, assise sur les genoux de Cro, je rigolais bien, accompagnée de Shanks et Daz assis de part et d'autre de Cro et moi. Mais cela n'avait pas d'importance, j'étais bien entourée et rassasiée, c'est tout ce qui comptait.
— La nuit fut bonne ? nous demanda Robin.
— Très bonne merci. Et toi ? Le spectacle t'a plu ? répondis-je.
— Excellent, je dois dire que j'ai été bluffée par le jeu des acteurs.
À ces mots, les garçons se figèrent tels des glaçons et comprirent que leurs exploits de la veille n'étaient pas restés qu'entre les quatre murs de la chambre. En voyant leurs têtes, nous nous sommes mis à rire avec Robin, et après quelques secondes les garçons nous suivirent.
Après le déjeuner, Smoker me lança un regard me faisant comprendre que je n'échapperais pas à une mise au point concernant le carnage de la veille. Je le pris à part avec Aokiji et je leur expliquai que les marines morts dans la cabane étaient en réalité des traîtres appartenant à l'équipage du Capitaine Vermillon – le marine qui avait tué la mère de Sanji –, et qu'ils étaient alliés aux pirates.
— Ils avaient séquestré Benjamin, Quatre et… Sanji ! Ils tenaient à finir le travail commencé des années plus tôt, c'est-à-dire tuer Sanji, mais ils comptaient bien « s'amuser » un peu avant avec les garçons, si vous voyez ce que je veux dire…
Aokiji retint un cri de stupeur en entendant ça, quant à Smoker, il ne bronchait pas, mais je voyais ses poings se serraient jusqu'à devenir blancs.
— Bref, j'ai envoyé la cavalerie en la présence de Cro puis Zoro pour les sauver. Au moment où d'autres marines se pointaient vers la cabane, je l'ai faite exploser pour couvrir la fuite de nos hommes qui revenaient vers l'hôtel.
Je voyais que Smoker et Aokiji étaient gênés, Aokiji n'arrêtait pas de lancer des regards peinés en direction de Sanji.
— Je suis désolée de vous apprendre ça, mais rassurez-vous, aucune victime innocente n'est à déplorer dans l'explosion. Quant à tes hommes, Smoker, ils étaient déjà morts avant que la cabane ne saute… Je compte sur vous en tout cas pour que cette petite discussion reste entre nous. Cet événement doit passer pour un accident aux yeux des possibles enquêteurs qui viendraient fourrer leur nez dans cette histoire.
Nous étions d'accord sur le fait de garder sous silence cette histoire afin que Sanji aille de l'avant et n'ait plus à se soucier des Tenruybitos.
Après cette brève entrevue, je vis qu'il était déjà onze heures :
— Il est temps de commencer la réunion, fis-je à la cantonade. Il nous reste encore les votes à finaliser pour cet après-midi, et je ne sais pas pour vous, mais j'aimerais que ça aille vite, je suis lasse de ces transactions !
Le soir venu, nous avions enfin les noms des représentants du nouveau gouvernement :
Aokiji et Smoker, pour les marines,
Luffy D. Monkey et Jewerly Bonney, pour les capitaines pirates,
Dracule Mihawk et Trafalgar Law, pour les Shichibukai,
Benjamin et Quatre, pour les Tenryubito,
Dragon D. Monkey et Ivankov, pour les révolutionnaires,
Enfin, Crocodile, Shanks et moi-même, pour les empereurs.
S'en suivit un magnifique festin et une grande fête afin de clôturer ces trois longues journées riches en échanges, en émotions, en discussions et en rebondissements. Le lendemain, chacun retournerait à ses pénates, mais pour l'heure le moment était à la détente et à l'euphorie de la victoire.
Ce soir-là justement, j'ai profité de l'occasion pour renouer avec mon père, une sorte de « réunion de famille » sur les conseils avisés de Mihawk et de Law lors du dîner :
— Alors tu es sûre de vouloir venir vivre chez moi ? demanda Mihawk.
— Bien sûr, pourquoi cette question ?
— Non, je me disais que tu pourrais aller avec Luffy ou Dragon.
— Pourquoi ? Je ne vois pas ce que ça m'apporterait.
— C'est pour ça que tu les évites ?
— Pas du tout, pourquoi tu penses ça ?
— Parce que tu ne leur as pas vraiment parlé depuis que tu leur as révélé ton passé, répondit Law.
Le jeune brun venait de nous rejoindre. Il mit ses bras autour de la taille de Mihawk, puis posa son menton sur son épaule et me sourit chaleureusement.
— Tu devrais leur parler avant de partir, je pense qu'ils n'attendent que ça, continua Law.
— Ouais, en fait tu veux juste que je n'aille pas vivre chez ton homme, pour être seul avec lui. Car si j'y vais tu devras le partager avec moi et mes hommes, m'exclamai-je.
— Pas du tout ! se renfrogna-t-il.
— Je plaisante mon grand… Je sais que tu as raison mais…
— Mais tu as un peu peur. C'est normal. Je pense qu'une « réunion de famille » s'impose avant le départ, si tu vois ce que je veux dire.
— Cela vous sera bénéfique à tous les cinq, fit remarquer Mihawk.
Je les regardai tous les deux, si heureux et amoureux comme aux premiers jours… Ils avaient raison bien sûr, mais je n'arrivais pas à me décider, c'était tellement dur – surtout pour mes sœurs ! –, mais il fallait passer ce cap, j'avais des responsabilités et je pouvais sauver les autres, mais j'étais incapable d'affronter mes propres démons, un comble pour la personne que je voulais être aux yeux des autres.
Puis Robin entra dans mon champ de vision, radieuse au bras de Dragon je trouvai alors la petite étincelle qui me manquait pour me jeter à l'eau.
— Ok, j'ai compris, fis-je en jetant un dernier coup d'œil aux garçons.
Je m'approchai d'eux et demandai à Robin si je pouvais lui emprunter son homme un petit moment.
— Mais bien sûr, dit-elle en souriant. Je vous laisse en famille, vous avez certainement des choses à vous dire.
— Merci, avons-nous répondu de concert.
— Viens, dis-je à mon père, allons chercher Luffy, il est important qu'il se joigne à nous.
L'hôtel dans lequel nous étions logés depuis le début du sommet abritait une petite bibliothèque que je trouvai fort appropriée pour nos échanges familiaux. Une fois tous les cinq installés – j'avais créé des clones pour que mes sœurs puissent s'exprimer librement –, chacun d'entre nous s'efforçait de regarder ailleurs. Je pris sur moi d'entamer une nouvelle fois les « négociations » :
— Hum… Il est temps que nous crevions cet abcès qui nous ronge tous les cinq depuis trop longtemps, vous n'êtes pas d'accord ?
—Je pense plutôt qu'il faut tuer Dragon, grogna Léna.
— Mouais… Je ne suis pas convaincue que de le tuer soit suffisant. Faisons le souffrir comme il nous a fait souffrir ! précisa Apo l'air mauvais.
— NON ! Laissons-le s'expliquer avant, s'insurgea Luffy. Vous m'avez demandé de pardonner et de ne pas vous venger. Alors même si j'ai envie de casser la gueule à tous ses sales types en commençant par lui, je pense qu'on devrait d'abord l'écouter et après on verra, continua Luffy.
— Ok, tranchai-je. Dragon, on t'écoute.
— Avant de me justifier de quoi que ce soit, je tiens vraiment à dire que vos mères ont eu une importance égale à mes yeux. Je les ai sincèrement aimées toutes les deux, différemment certes, mais vraiment. Et si je t'ai laissée auprès d'elle Hinata, c'est parce que je pensais qu'étant sa fille, elle ne pourrait pas te faire de mal, je savais que tu serais comme elle, mais elle, elle m'effrayait de plus en plus.
Dragon fit une pause, gagné par l'émotion. Je voyais qu'il avait du mal à trouver ses mots, mais je le laissai poursuivre :
— J'étais jeune et je ne savais plus quoi faire. Je voulais revenir à la maison, de tout mon cœur, mais d'une mission à l'autre, le temps a filé et j'ai pensé que vous seriez mieux sans moi…
Puis un jour, mon père m'a fait savoir que vous étiez mortes. J'ai donc continué ma vie avec ce poids sur le cœur, puis j'ai rencontré la mère de Luffy et peu à peu j'ai recommencé a aimé.
La suite, tu la connais, et malgré ce que tu penses, je n'ai jamais oublié aucune de mes deux femmes, ni aucun de mes deux enfants.
Je ne peux pas vous forcer à me croire, mais je promets que c'est la stricte vérité.
Dragon stoppa son monologue, baissant la tête dans l'attente d'un verdict.
— C'est trop facile ça ! dit Léna.
— Tout a fait d'accord avec Léna. Il demande pardon et on le lui accorde comme ça, en claquant des doigts. Je ne suis pas d'accord, argumenta Apo.
— Il a l'air sincère, dit timidement Luffy qui ne voulait pas envenimer la situation.
Alors que je tentais de calmer les ardeurs de mon frère à vouloir sauver notre père et la folie meurtrière de mes sœurs, Dragon restait comme prostré, attendant le couperet. J'essayais alors de rassembler mes idées pour y voir plus clair.
— Tout comme moi, Apo et Léna voient qu'il semble sincère, toutefois ça paraît trop simple de tout lui pardonner comme ça, en un coup de baguette magique. Le dilemme pour nous résidera dans le fait de tout lui pardonner pour repartir à zéro, ou de nous venger et de vivre avec son meurtre sur la conscience comme pour celui de notre mère…
— Mais pour elle c'était de l'auto-défense ! s'écria Luffy.
— Oui mais ça ne change rien au fait que nous l'ayons tuée.
— Et donc, que fait-on ? demanda Luffy.
— Que ferais-tu toi ? Après tout, tu es notre frère et ton avis compte également.
Les filles acquiescèrent, Luffy avait droit au chapitre lui aussi.
— Je vais être un peu égoïste, désolé, mais il est l'un des seuls à avoir connu ma mère et j'ai plein de questions à lui poser. J'aimerais le connaître davantage, il reste mon père, notre père, ne me dites pas le contraire. Je pense que tu l'attends toujours au fond de toi Hinata, et tu n'as pas renoncé à son retour… Alors je t'en prie, laisse-lui cette chance de se rachet…
— Tu rigoles ! s'énerva Léna. Je le tue et on en parle plus, ce n'est qu'un Humain, après tout.
— Ça suffit ! ordonna Apo. Hinata, c'est toi qui vois. Luffy a raison, tu l'attends toujours… alors la décision te revient.
— J'avoue que je suis un peu perdue, tous vos arguments se tiennent. De plus, Dragon est resté fidèle à sa promesse depuis qu'il est revenu, alors… Aurais-tu une dernière chose à ajouter avant que je ne prenne ma décision ? lui demandai-je.
— Je ne peux défaire ce qui a été fait, toutefois, je m'engage à ne plus vous laisser tomber, et j'en ferai une priorité dans ce nouvel avenir qui m'attend.
Comprenant que mon choix était fait, mes sœurs réintégrèrent mon corps, et d'une seule voix j'énonçai :
— Alors je te pardonne. On fait table rase du passé et on construit un nouvel avenir ensemble.
Dragon était soulagé, quant à Luffy, il me sauta au cou pour me remercier. Nous sommes restés encore quelques minutes pour échanger quelques banalités avant de rejoindre le reste des convives dans la grande salle. Dragon et Luffy retrouvèrent Robin pendant que je m'asseyais sur un fauteuil dans un coin de la salle.
J'observais les invités qui discutaient par petits groupes de deux à cinq personnes. Je profitais du fait qu'ils étaient absorbés par leurs conversations pour me « promener » de-ci de-là et écouter discrètement ce qu'allaient raconter Sanji et Aokiji à leurs hommes, ou encore comment Robin rencontra mon père, mais ça c'était surtout la curiosité mal placée de mon cher frère !
Il faudrait aussi que j'aille parler à Smoker et à Aokiji, mais avant tout, je me rapprochai d'Aokiji :
— Sanji… je suis navré de ce qui est arrivé… J'aurais dû venir te parler plutôt, mais les événements se sont un peu… précipités, et puis je ne pouvais rien dire de toute façon… Je t'ai reconnu tout de suite en te voyant, tu lui ressembles tellement…
— Je comprends, ne t'inquiète pas. En fait, j'en sais beaucoup sur sa mort et ses meurtriers mais peu sur sa vie. Je veux bien que tu me parles d'elle. Et puis j'ai bien compris que tu m'as aussi beaucoup recherché, alors ne culpabilise pas. J'ai eu une vie difficile mais il y a eu de bons moments aussi. Je ne regrette rien, ajouta Sanji en adressant un tendre regard envers son amant qui lui sourit en retour.
— Mon père était un haut gradé de l'armée. Il venait d'être affecté à la base militaire des Îles d'Aphrodite ainsi qu'à la protection de leur souverain. Ta mère comme tu le sais était une reine. Mais quand je l'ai rencontrée, nous n'avions que cinq ans. Elle n'était alors qu'une jeune princesse, une fille très mignonne et spontanée, qui ne se fiait pas aux apparences ni au statut des gens. Alors elle vint tout naturellement me serrer la main. C'est ainsi que nous avons commencé à faire connaissance. J'ai vécu dans le palais toute mon enfance, rythmé entre l'entraînement militaire, les études auprès de ta mère… Au fil du temps nous sommes devenus amis, les meilleurs qui soient, on se disait tout. Je savais donc très bien qu'elle m'aimait, tout comme elle savait que j'étais attiré par les hommes. Mais notre amitié n'en a jamais était entachée pour autant. Alors que nous jouissions tous deux de notre vie paisible, vers mes vingt-six ans – l'année de ta naissance – on m'envoya en mission, mais ça ne tourna pas à mon avantage. Et contre toute attente, ta mère usa de son statut diplomatique pour me tirer de ce mauvais pas.
À notre retour, elle m'avoua ce qu'il s'était passé avec les pirates pendant mon absence, aussi je décidai de rester pour l'aider. C'est comme cela que je suis devenu son époux et ton père adoptif. En fait, je t'ai reconnu comme étant mon fils biologique pour que le déshonneur ne s'abatte pas sur elle. Mais après, je t'ai vraiment aimé comme mon fils et quand tu as disparu, je t'ai cherché partout. Peut-être pas assez je suppose…
— Non tout va bien, je te l'ai dit, je n'ai pas de regret, le rassura Sanji.
— Merci. Tu sais, ta mère t'aimait vraiment beaucoup. C'était une femme charmante, pleine de vie et déterminée. Tu l'aurais adorée. Moi je l'ai aimée autant que j'ai pu, ajouta Aokiji.
— Merci papa, souffla Sanji.
Les yeux humides et heureux d'avoir retrouvé son fils, Aokiji serra fort ce dernier dans ses bras.
Smoker et Zoro s'approchèrent de leurs conjoints respectifs et posèrent de concert une main sur l'épaule de leur amant :
— Vous verrez les garçons, ça ira mieux maintenant, dit sobrement Smoker avec un léger sourire.
Cette scène était tellement émouvante, que je ne pus retenir mes larmes et décidai – sous l'apparence d'Apo – d'aller étreindre toute ma nouvelle famille d'adoption.
Sentant un silence pesant autour de nous, je me projetai pour avoir une vue d'ensemble de la salle. Tout le monde s'était arrêté de boire, manger ou discuter pour nous observer. Devant le « ridicule » de la situation, je me mis à rire en retrouvant mon corps, bientôt suivi par les garçons, puis par toute l'assistance. Je crois que tout le monde en avait besoin après les dernières tensions que nous avions vécues.
Quand tout le monde eut repris ses esprits, la voix de Luffy se fit entendre :
— Dis-moi Robin, comment tu es devenue la petite amie de mon père ? Et maintenant, je dois t'appeler « maman » ?
— Euh… Non capitaine, pas du tout… répondit la jeune femme troublée, et dont les joues devenaient rouges de honte.
Tout le monde rit, mais je ne saurais dire si c'était pour la maladresse de Luffy ou pour les couleurs que l'on découvrait pour la première fois sur le visage de Robin. Comme quoi on a beau être un pirate, on n'en reste pas moins femme.
— Luffy ! Qu'est-ce qui te prend ? Ça ne se fait pas ! s'étrangla Dragon, rouge de honte et de colère envers son fils.
— Pourquoi ? demanda Luffy avec sa moue la plus innocente possible.
— Parce que ça touche à la sphère intime des gens, et que personne n'a à le savoir, surtout pas comme ça. Si Dragon et Robin veulent nous en parler, ils le feront peut-être un jour mais de leur propre volonté, tu comprends ? expliquai-je à Luffy avec un sourire conciliant adressé à mon père et à Robin.
Autour de nous, tout le monde acquiesçait dans un murmure teinté de bienveillance, car bien que Capitaine, Luffy ne maîtrisait pas encore tous les codes sociaux et la plupart des gens ici le savait.
Néanmoins, moi je savais comment ça s'était passé entre Dragon et Robin, elle m'avait tout raconté…
_Un mois après l'arrivée des Révolutionnaires venus la chercher dans sa prison de Tequila Wolf, ces derniers l'avaient conduite auprès de Dragon. _
— _Mademoiselle Nico ! énonça à haute voix le chef des révolutionnaires. Bonjour et merci de votre présence ici._
— _Bonjour à vous Monsieur D. Monkey, répondit-elle souriante. _
— _Haha ! Monsieur D. Monkey c'est mon père, précisa Dragon._
— _Je croyais que c'était Garp, corrigea-t-elle en souriant._
— _Effectivement, Robin, conclut-il d'un hochement de tête._
— _Enfin ravie de rencontrer le père de mon capitaine, Dragon, rajouta l'archéologue. Que puis-je pour vous ? J'ai cru comprendre que vous aviez besoin de ma coopération ? demanda-t-elle. _
— _Eh bien vous ne perdez pas de temps. J'aime ça. Nous avons trouvé des écris dans une langue qu'on ne connaît pas, et sachant que vous vous êtes retrouvée loin de votre équipage suite au pouvoir d'un fruit du démon, nous avons fait d'une pierre deux coups : vous récupérer et en échange obtenir votre aide. _
— _Vous non plus, vous n'y allez pas par quatre chemins. Alors ce n'est ni pour mes beaux yeux ni parce que je fais partie de l'équipage de Luffy que vous êtes venus m'aider, c'est uniquement pour que je travaille pour vous, dit-elle avec un certain aplomb. _
— _Euh… ! Disons que… bégaya-t-il, pris de court par la répartie de la jeune femme. _
— _Alors tant pis pour vous, fit-elle avec un faux dédain, et mettons-nous au travail donc, conclut-elle. _
_Dragon la considéra avec intérêt. On sentait bien qu'il l'a jaugeait du regard…_
_Ainsi s'était passée leur première entrevue._
_Pour un meilleur confort de travail, Robin demanda à pouvoir d'installer dans une chambre pour prendre une douche et commencer à travailler au plus tôt._
_Cette traduction demanda une bonne semaine de travail à Robin. Pendant ce temps, Dragon passait la voir de temps en temps pour voir l'évolution de sa tâche. Au cours de leurs nombreuses discussions, ils avaient appris à se mieux se connaître et s'apprécier, et ce qui les rapprochait le plus était l'humour noir qu'ils cultivaient sans cesse. _
_Un soir, alors que Robin avait achevé de traduire le document, Dragon vint la chercher pour l'inviter à manger à l'extérieur et ainsi fêter l'événement. _
— _J'espère que cela ne vous dérange pas de vous retrouver seule avec moi ? demanda l'homme. _
— _Pourquoi cela me dérangerait-il ? répondit-elle en souriant. Nous avons un repas professionnel. _
— _Oui bien sûr, même si j'aimerais qu'on parle d'autre chose… _
— _Pourquoi pas ? dit-elle avec le même sourire franc qu'elle lui présentait depuis un moment._
_Et c'est ainsi qu'ils passèrent la soirée à parler de tout et de rien, tout en dégustant des mets raffinés. _
_Tard dans la nuit, après avoir bien mangé et discuté, ils retournèrent se coucher dans l'hôtel réquisitionné par les Révolutionnaires depuis un bon mois. En bon gentleman, Dragon raccompagna son invitée jusqu'à sa chambre. Et au moment de prendre congé d'elle et de rejoindre sa propre chambre, Robin l'embrassa puis l'invita à entrer dans sa chambre. _
_Dragon avait allongé Robin sur le lit et l'embrassait passionnément. Il fit glisser la bretelle gauche de sa robe le long de son bras pour mieux embrasser son épaule, puis répéta la même opération sur l'épaule droite. Il remonta doucement vers les lèvres de Robin avant de poursuivre vers son cou. Une des mains du révolutionnaire se plaça derrière la nuque de l'archéologue et l'autre lui caressa le dos tout en défaisant la crémaillère de son vêtement. Il appuya son baiser, puis sa main se déplaça de la nuque à la robe de son amante pour la retirer intégralement. Il profita de l'occasion pour faire glisser ses lèvres sur la poitrine de Robin et la couvrir de baisers « papillon ». Puis il s'approcha de ses tétons pour les lécher et les mordiller. Elle gémissait et se cambrait alors que ses lèvres descendaient de plus en plus bas sur son ventre. Ses mains se baladaient sur le corps nu de l'archéologue. Et de l'entendre gémir lui procurait de grandes sensations. C'est alors qu'il sentit des mains qui le caressaient et le déshabillaient, et visiblement plus de deux mains. Interloqué, il amorça un mouvement de recul bien vite stoppé par l'intéressée qui le ramena vers lui d'un petit rire amusé et l'embrassa langoureusement. Puis elle lui susurra à l'oreille :_
— _C'est l'avantage de mon fruit du démon. Je peux avoir plusieurs membres. _
— _Hmm ! Intéressant… À mon tour à présent… _
_La jeune femme commença par ressentir un léger courant d'air glisser sur sa peau, puis progressivement se sentit léviter au-dessus du lit, tel un tour de magie. _
_Dragon rajouta dans un sourire :_
— _Promis, je ne déclencherai pas d'orage dans la chambre. _
— _J'espère bien. Si je voulais le faire sous l'eau je t'aurais demandé d'aller sous la douche, ricana Robin. _
_Dragon se replongea dans les caresses et les baisers qu'il déposait çà et là sur le corps de Robin. Celle-ci lui signifia d'aller plus loin en écartant délicatement ses jambes pendant qu'il l'embrassait. Dragon s'activa habilement au niveau de l'entrejambe de la jeune femme avant de l'embrasser à nouveau sur la bouche tout en la pénétrant. Doucement d'abord pour ne pas la brusquer, et pour qu'elle s'imprègne bien de sa présence, puis il entama de profonds va-et-vient, par moment rapides, par moment lents. Ils avaient tout leur temps, la soirée leur appartenait. _
_Ses mains glissèrent sous le dos de Robin pendant qu'il lui léchait les seins, puis il la ramena vers lui pour pouvoir l'asseoir sur lui. Tout en lui maintenant les hanches, il la pénétra à nouveau, délicatement, puis progressivement il augmenta le rythme des à-coups. Elle hurla quand l'orgasme la traversa et sembla la priver de toute force. Dragon la maintint quelques instants de plus en extension, le temps de jouir en elle. Puis tous deux s'allongèrent et s'endormirent après un dernier câlin. _
_Ils décidèrent d'entamer une relation suivie tant que Robin restait avec eux. Puis elle finit par rejoindre son équipage, pour autant les deux amants n'en étaient pas restés là._
En repensant à leur rencontre, je me disais qu'il était préférable de ne rien raconter à Luffy, en effet. Je l'observais faire sa bouille de bougon parce qu'il n'avait pas obtenu satisfaction alors que tout autour de lui, les convives cherchaient désespérément à le faire changer de sujet. C'est alors qu'une voix s'écria :
— Waouh ! Toute cette viande.
— Où ça ? répondit Luffy en sautant partout.
C'était Usopp. Il lui fit signe de se rapprocher et Luffy se jeta sur la nourriture carnée, oubliant ainsi sa dernière lubie.
Je profitai de l'occasion pour aller parler de nouveau avec Aokiji, Smoker et Sanji à qui je devais des excuses pour toutes ses années de séparations.
Toute la nuit, les invités continuèrent à discuter en petits comités, certains conversant pour la première fois de sujets bien loin de ceux qui nous avaient réunis ces derniers jours.
Le lendemain matin, les yeux plutôt fatigués par les derniers événements et la grande soirée de la veille, nous nous sommes tous dit au revoir une dernière fois. Dans tous les cas, il ne s'agissait pas d'adieux définitifs car il était convenu de se revoir dans six mois lors du prochain Conseil Gouvernemental. Les âmes les plus sensibles écrasèrent une larme ou deux, mais dans l'ensemble tout le monde partit avec le sourire, ravi d'avoir pu conclure un accord rapidement et sans trop de heurts.
Pour ma part, un dilemme s'imposa à moi : partir directement avec Mihawk pour vivre chez lui, ou avec les marines en compagnie de Quatre et Benjamin pour faire mon rapport au Roi Grégory ? La seconde option fut mise en avant car il semblait important que mon époux soit au fait très rapidement de la situation et de ce qui allait venir par la suite.
De plus, aller chez Mihawk resterait une formalité, surtout que mes trois hommes seraient également les bienvenus. Et même si son domaine était assez grand pour nous accueillir, rien ne m'empêchait d'aller les visiter de temps en temps.
Incontestablement, j'étais assez fière du travail accompli au cours du mois qui venait de s'écouler. Non seulement j'avais retrouvé ma famille, mais en plus je m'étais réconciliée avec quelques-uns de ses membres de nouvelles relations étaient venues agrandir le cercle de mes amis enfin la création de ce nouveau gouvernement me mettait du baume au cœur, car j'étais sûre qu'à partir de maintenant nous ferions tous du bon travail tous ensemble. Évidemment, j'avais également contribué à apaiser les âmes de l'au-delà, et vivants comme morts m'en avaient été très reconnaissants.
Mes sœurs étaient également en paix avec elles-mêmes à présent que Dragon, Cro et Daz faisaient partie intégrante de notre vie. Ce ne fut pas facile loin de là, mais chacun y mettant du sien, nous avons réussi là un tour de force.
Cette première étape s'acheva sur une note plutôt positive pour chacun d'entre nous, et nous étions tous pressés de nous retrouver prochainement pour vivre à nouveau de folles aventures. Et pour la première fois depuis bien longtemps, l'avenir qui s'annonçait à nous ne nous effrayait plus.
24. Chapter 21
Bonjour à tous et toutes,
Je publie ce soir le dernier chapitre de cette fiction, que j'ai commencé à vous faire lire depuis février 2015. Je vous remercie de m'avoir suivi depuis plus d'un an. Et j'espère vous revoir sur mes autres fictions ou sur mon autre compte Sam-Craft, que j'ai en commun avec Sam-Elias. Bonne lecture et encore merci de m'avoir suivi. Biz Peacecraft31.
**Chapitre 21 : Épilogue.**
Le voyage de retour vers Marie Joie pris une bonne semaine au cours de laquelle nous avons profité d'un repos bien mérité et surtout de ce temps libre pour rédiger le rapport que nous devions remettre à mon époux. À notre arrivée, il y avait peu de monde pour nous accueillir, aussi nous n'avons pas perdu de temps et sommes partis rapidement rejoindre le Roi au palais.
Après une bonne heure de marche, nous sommes arrivés en pleine réunion dans la salle du trône. Il fallut attendre notre tour avant de pouvoir exposer notre rapport au Roi et ensuite aller nous reposer dans nos chambres respectives.
Quelque chose me chagrinait mais je n'arrivais pas à saisir sa provenance. Après avoir sondé les chambres des environs, je ne tardais pas à trouver la source de ce tourment. Benjamin tournait en rond dans sa chambre.
— _Benjamin, va lui parler, ça vaudra mieux pour tout le monde._
— _Tu es sûre ?_
— _Oui, dépêche-toi… j'ai confiance._
— _Tu as raison, j'y vais de ce pas._
Benjamin réfléchit quelques secondes sur la façon de présenter les choses à son amant, puis se rendit dans ses appartements.
— Grégory, je dois te parler…
— Je sais.
— Vraiment ?
— Je ne suis pas aveugle, j'ai noté certains changements dans votre comportement à tous les deux. Je t'aime, mais je comprends que tu le préfères à moi : il est de ton âge et très beau. De plus, il t'aime depuis si longtemps.
— Grégory, je… je ne veux pas te quitter… comment te dire…
— Tu nous aimes… tous les deux, fit-il avec un geste qui semblait le désigner lui et Quatre, bien qu'absent dans la pièce.
— Oui, je…
— Ne t'inquiète pas, ça peut arriver.
— Que dois-je faire ?
— Et c'est à moi que tu demandes ça ? s'écria le roi, surpris. Je… Pardon, je suis maladroit en te criant ainsi dessus et je ne t'aide pas, s'excusa-t-il d'une voix plus douce.
Grégory se déplaça vers Benjamin et le prit dans ses bras. Il le berça tendrement en lui chuchotant des mots doux. Puis il l'amena lentement à le regarder et lui dit :
— Qu'aimerais-tu vraiment faire ?
— Ne pas vous perdre… aucun de vous deux…
— Cela semble faisable mais crois-tu qu'il acceptera ?
— Qu'on soit tous les trois ensemble ? reprit Benjamin un peu surpris.
Pour toute réponse le roi hocha la tête.
— Et toi ? demanda le brun.
— Oui, pour vous deux, je veux bien essayer.
— Alors il fera pareil ! affirma le cadet.
— Sûr ? répondit Grégory, si surpris par la conviction de son amant.
— Je dois vraiment te parler. Peut-être que tu changeras d'avis.
— Je t'écoute.
Benjamin se posa un instant et rassembla ses idées pour être sûr de ne rien omettre. Le Roi resta à ses côtés tout le long de son récit, pour ne pas en perdre une miette et pour lui insuffler suffisamment de courage. Quand Benjamin eut fini de narrer son histoire, un long silence s'installa. Grégory restait là, impassible, finissant d'assimiler toutes les données relatives à ce voyage et aux événements qu'il a pu engendrer.
Son amant le fixa droit dans les yeux mais s'obstinait à ne rien dire. Alors Benjamin reprit la parole :
— J'imagine qu'à présent, c'est toi qui veux me quitter, non ?
Une réaction plutôt surprenante s'opéra chez le Roi. Au lieu de s'énerver et de partir en claquant la porte, il resta étonnamment calme : ses yeux papillonnaient comme à chaque fois qu'une grande émotion le saisissait puis, les yeux dans les yeux, il se rapprocha de son bien aimé pour l'embrassé passionnément.
— Cela a dû être si dur pour vous deux, ajouta Grégory après quelques secondes de relâchement. Heureusement que vous étiez ensemble. Je ne vous séparerai jamais et je serai heureux de partager ma vie avec vous.
— Oh… merci, souffla le cadet rassuré.
Ni une ni deux, Grégory empoigna le jeune brun par le bras et l'entraîna avec lui à travers le dédale des couloirs du palais. Le Roi s'arrêta net devant la porte de Quatre et entra sans y être invité. Toujours suivi de Benjamin qu'il tenait fermement par le poignet, mon époux se dirigea droit vers le Comte.
Cette intrusion des deux hommes fit sursauter le jeune blond qui restait maintenant immobile, laissant les deux hommes s'avancer vers lui.
Quatre se demandait à quelle sauce il allait être mangé : « _Vont-ils me demander de partir, maintenant que la mission est finie ? Le Roi a l'air bien décidé et pas ravi du tout… En même temps, j'ai couché avec son amant… Mais si je dois partir, je le ferai…_ ». Ses idées se bousculaient dans sa tête, et au moment où il allait prendre la parole pour s'expliquer, il vit Grégory se positionner juste devant lui et dire :
— Vous êtes magnifique !
— … Majesté ? Je… Vous…
Ses yeux passaient d'un regard à l'autre, cherchant une explication à tout ça.
Le Monarque leva un bras pour arrêter Quatre dans son élan.
— Je sais tout, dit-il.
Et prenant les deux garçons par le bras, il se déplaça de façon à les avoir en face de lui.
— Je vous aime tous les deux. Je sais que Benjamin nous aime tous les deux, mais toi pourras-tu nous aimer tous les deux ?
— … Oui… votre majesté, balbutia le jeune Comte, les larmes aux yeux.
Le Roi et Benjamin manifestèrent leur joie en allant enlacer leur nouveau compagnon. Les trois hommes restèrent ainsi pendant quelques minutes.
L'aîné des trois ainsi que le plus jeune avaient l'habitude de se comprendre d'un simple regard. De concert, leurs mains comme leurs lèvres commencèrent à se balader sur le corps du jeune blond.
Les deux amants avaient une idée bien précise de là où ils voulaient en venir avec le Comte, et ce dernier se laissa faire sans opposer de résistance. Les trois hommes continuaient à se caresser et leurs lèvres s'embrasser tandis qu'ils se rapprochaient doucement mais sûrement du lit. À peine étaient-ils arrivés à son pied, qu'ils étaient déjà nus comme des vers, mais irrésistiblement attirés les uns par les autres. Quatre grimpa sur son lit et s'allongea en plein milieu sur le dos, les deux autres le suivirent et se positionnèrent au-dessus de lui.
Poursuivant toujours leurs caresses et leurs baisers, les deux meneurs du jeu sexuel qui attendait Quatre ne manquaient pas d'imagination pour faire gémir de plaisir leur amant. Délaissant les lèvres du Comte, ils poursuivirent chacun d'un côté de son corps en embrassant son cou, puis progressèrent lentement vers les clavicules et enfin le torse du jeune homme. Avec une synchronisation à faire pâlir un corps d'armée, les deux hommes se retrouvèrent à lécher et à jouer avec les aréoles de leur proie. La façon qu'ils avaient de suçoter les pectoraux du jeune éphèbe procurait à ce dernier des sensations qu'il n'avait jamais éprouvées jusqu'à présent. Brûlant de désir pour les deux hommes qui le choyaient autant, il laissa échapper du fond de sa gorge de petits gémissements qui incitèrent les deux autres à redoubler d'hardiesse pour qu'il ne s'arrête jamais de crier.
Ainsi galvanisés par les réactions de leur partenaire, ils continuèrent leurs périples sur son corps et dessinèrent le contour de ses abdominaux du bout de leurs doigts, agrémentés de baisers papillons. Au moment d'arriver au niveau de l'entrejambe, l'érection de Quatre était bien marquée. Les deux hommes décidèrent donc de s'attaquer à ses hanches et à ses aines pour descendre progressivement le long des cuisses avant de remonter doucement vers sa verge turgescente. Cet état de plénitude portait Quatre vers des sommets insoupçonnés de sa personne il cambrait son corps, offrant ainsi son bassin aux bouches avides de ses amants. Ces derniers en profitèrent pour accentuer leur jeu et exciter suffisamment leur supplicié pour l'amener au bord de la jouissance. Puis tout s'arrêta net, comme s'il n'avait été que dans un rêve.
Au moment où toute pression retomba d'un coup et que les deux hommes allaient s'affairer sur une autre partie du corps de leur amant, un grognement de frustration s'éleva des lèvres de ce dernier. Grégory et Benjamin n'en avaient cure et comptaient bien mettre à profit ce sentiment chez le jeune homme pour le pousser un peu plus loin dans l'orgasme. Ils attrapèrent chacun une jambe et retournèrent le jeune éphèbe telle une crêpe pour mettre à jour sa partie anale. Montrant ainsi l'aspect pudique de sa personnalité, Quatre émit un petit soupir évoquant la gêne qui fit sourire ses deux compagnons, très satisfaits de leur effet. Gardant toujours chacun une jambe dans leur main, ils finirent par la poser sur leur épaule afin de mieux s'occuper de l'anus de leur amant. Quatre se détendait au fur et à mesure que les garçons progressaient puis tout en caressant le corps du jeune Comte, Benjamin et Grégory remontèrent vers ses lèvres pour l'embrasser.
Ensuite, ils présentèrent chacun deux doigts devant la bouche de Quatre pour qu'il les humidifie bien. Il joua avec sa langue autour de ces doigts, faisant des bruits de succion pour exciter ses partenaires.
Ces derniers en profitaient pour le regarder faire, allongé entre eux, ravis du spectacle qu'il offrait une fois de plus. Ils le trouvaient tellement magnifique, qu'ils étaient persuadés qu'il ne pouvait y avoir d'autres personnes plus belles que lui. Ils étaient tellement excités, qu'ils étaient à deux doigts de jouir rien qu'en le regardant. Afin de se préserver encore un peu, ils se mirent à nouveau à l'ouvrage et continuèrent ce qu'ils avaient commencé.
Une fois leurs doigts bien humidifiés, ils passèrent à l'étape suivante, les introduire dans l'anus de leur amant. Alors que Benjamin prenait l'initiative, Grégory le masturbait délicatement, tellement il était excité. Il ne souhaitait pas en finir tout de suite, pas avant les autres en tout cas. Quatre quant à lui ne savait plus vraiment où donner de la tête, et quand le Roi finit par introduire lui aussi un doigt dans son anus, il était en extase. Les deux hommes y allaient de leurs va-et-vient comme d'un massage, à la fois doux et ferme, fougueux et langoureux.
Plébiscités par les gémissements de leur amant, le Roi et Benjamin introduisirent chacun un second doigt, tout en gardant le rythme des va-et-vient. Le Comte s'agitait dans tous les sens, à la limite de la suffocation tellement l'ivresse du moment le transportait dans une transe inouïe. Au bord de l'explosion, Grégory retira ses doigts, souleva le Comte pour se glisser dessous et avant qu'il n'eût le temps de le prendre, ce dernier glissait déjà le long de son membre turgescent.
Un cri s'éleva, tel un rugissement à l'unisson, et Grégory donnait des à-coups en cadence, accélérant progressivement à chaque éclat de voix du jeune blond.
Benjamin, lui, avait pris en charge la verge de Quatre, l'introduisant dans sa bouche et callant ses mouvements sur ceux de leur aîné. Et ce faisant, il se masturbait lentement, éprouvant un plaisir inégalé jusqu'à présent. Délaissant la verge, le jeune brun se positionna au-dessus de Quatre, l'embrassa fougueusement et introduisit à nouveau ses deux doigts dans l'anus, en parallèle du pénis du Roi. Ce dernier s'arrêta tout net, et attendit avec impatience que son jeune amant donne le « La » pour la suite.
Une fois qu'il le sentit prêt, Benjamin le pénétra et Quatre poussa une telle plainte, que les murs du château en tremblèrent. Les trois amants, parfaitement synchrones dans leurs mouvements, ne semblaient plus faire qu'un.
Après un petit moment, ils décidèrent de changer de position. Benjamin et Grégory s'assirent sur le lit tandis que Quatre se plaçait au-dessus d'eux, saisissant les deux verges en érection pour les masturber. Ensuite, il descendit doucement vers ces deux dernières pour les rentrer dans son anus et entreprit de petits mouvements sensuels, émettant de petits cris rauques et aigus à la fois, laissant paraître toute l'extase qu'il ressentait en cet instant. Les deux autres se déhanchèrent de plus en plus pour le stimuler, l'un le masturbant, l'autre le couvrant de baisers un peu partout sur le corps. Comme emportés vers un univers encore inconnu, les trois amants accélèrent la cadence, éprouvant la sensation de n'être plus qu'une personne.
Dans un dernier élan d'ivresse sexuelle jamais égalé auparavant, le Roi et le jeune brun se répandirent en Quatre tandis que ce dernier projetait plusieurs jets de sperme dans la pièce.
Exténués, à la limite de l'arrêt cardiaque tellement l'enivrement de l'acte fut violent, les trois hommes tombèrent allongés sur le lit, le Roi au milieu, enlaçant ses deux amants placés de part et d'autre de lui. Et dans un silence qui baignait maintenant la pièce, il posa un dernier baiser sur leur tête avant de s'endormir profondément.
Désormais, Quatre ferait partie intégrante de leur union, aucun doute ne semblait remettre en question cet état de fait.
Le lendemain matin, je rejoignis mon époux et ses deux compagnons avant mon départ.
— Bonjour vous trois ! Bien dormis ?
Trois têtes émergèrent en même temps de sous les draps, se regardant brièvement avant de se tourner vers moi, le visage souriant. J'ajoutais alors :
—Visiblement tout va pour le mieux pour vous messieurs, dis-je en souriant également. Je vais donc pouvoir partir sereine d'ici la fin de la journée.
— Comment ? Déjà !? s'exclama le roi.
—Oui… Ma présence n'est plus vraiment requise ici. À présent vous avez votre vie, comme nous avons la nôtre. Mais en cas de besoin, n'hésitez pas, nous serons toujours là.
— Nous aussi, répondirent-ils tous en cœur, et merci encore.
Sur ces bonnes paroles, je sortis préparer mes affaires afin d'aller chez Mihawk, qui serait désormais ma nouvelle demeure.
— Tu es sûre de toi Hinata ?
— Mais oui Apo, t'inquiète, j'ai tout prévu.
— Ça va leur faire bizarre à tous.
— Tu as raison Léna.
— Apo, Léna, arrêtez ! Je sais ce que je fais.
Sur ces mots, les trois sœurs se firent face et se dévisagèrent. Elles avaient enfin trouvé le moyen d'avoir chacune un corps.
Depuis trois ans, elles vivaient sur Lugubria avec Mihawk et Pérona. Leurs conjoints respectifs pouvaient ainsi leur rendre visite à tout moment, aussi les filles avaient œuvré à pouvoir rester indépendantes les unes des autres le plus longtemps possible.
Après deux ans de recherche plus ou moins fructueuse, elles avaient fini par trouver un équilibre entre la nourriture, leurs fruits du démon et le sexe, ainsi que quelques médicaments qu'elles avaient créés avec l'aide de Law et Chopper. Grâce à cela, elles avaient réussi à concevoir deux avatars venant s'ajouter à leur corps d'origine, des avatars qu'elles ont fait évoluer chacune à leur façon afin de présenter des caractéristiques propres à leur être et leur caractère, des avatars âgés d'une vingtaine d'années pas plus, ne pouvant les vieillir davantage.
Hinata ressemblait à présent à une jeune femme aux cheveux et aux yeux noirs. Apo opta pour des cheveux d'un roux flamboyant ornant un magnifique visage aux yeux verts, sous les conseils de Cro bien évidemment. Quant à Léna, elle devint une charmante demoiselle aux cheveux blancs faisant ressortir ses yeux dorés, un choix incontestablement parfait au vu du regard que lui portait Daz à chaque fois qu'ils étaient ensemble.
À présent, les trois sœurs semblaient se défier du regard car Hinata venait d'avoir une idée plutôt surprenante. En effet, depuis leur installation chez Mihawk, les filles s'étaient mis dans la tête de faire revivre les lieux comme autant de leur splendeur, avec notamment de grandes fêtes. Et la première par laquelle elles avaient commencé était Noël. Or ce soir-là justement, et comme les deux dernières années, de nombreux convives étaient attendus pour célébrer les fêtes de fin d'année dans la bonne humeur, et Hinata voulait profiter de l'instant pour réserver une belle surprise à tout le monde bien que ses deux sœurs fussent dubitatives de la chose.
Au moment où elles terminaient leur discussion, Pérona se précipitait pour leur annoncer l'arrivée des premiers convives.
Tout le monde avait répondu présent à l'appel – comme à chaque fois depuis le grand sommet qui les avaient réunis quelques années plus tôt –, et après un apéritif digne des grandes soirées pris dans le salon, tous s'étaient attablés dans l'immense salle-à-manger pour un grand repas fort copieux et bien arrosé. Vers une heure du matin, tous les invités furent conviés à venir ouvrir leurs cadeaux et Hinata profita de l'occasion pour prendre la parole :
— Mes chers amis, je vous demande un peu d'attention s'il vous plaît, fis-je d'une voix forte.
De légers murmures s'échappaient encore par endroit autour de la table, mais rapidement le silence s'installa.
— Mes amis, reprit-elle, nous sommes vraiment ravies de vous avoir à nouveau auprès de nous cette année encore. Je pense que la plupart d'entre vous se demande encore pourquoi nous avons imposé un « dress code » un peu particulier pour ce soir, mais chaque chose en son temps. Certains trépignent déjà d'impatience à l'idée de découvrir ce que le Père Noël leur a réservé comme surprise, aussi pour plus de commodité, chacun votre tour à l'appel de votre prénom, vous irez voir Pérona, Apo ou Léna pour qu'elles vous remettent vos cadeaux.
Tous opinèrent du chef, attendant avec impatience d'être appelés.
— On va commencer tout de suite par l'équipage de Luffy. Luffy à toi l'honneur.
— Je suis là, j'arrive, ajouta-t-il en clopinant jusqu'aux filles.
Il récupéra tous ses paquets d'un seul coup grâce à ses bras élastiques, une chance pour lui.
— Brook.
— Oui, merci Hohoho, s'amusa-t-il en prenant ce que lui tendait Léna.
— Chopper.
— Présent, s'exclama-t-il avec un certain embarras qui fit rire tout le monde.
— Franky.
— Suppppper ! cria-t-il en s'emparant de ses cadeaux.
— Namie.
— J'espère que c'est de l'argent, dit-elle. Tout le monde leva les yeux en l'air par dépit.
— Jimbei.
— Merci mes chères.
— Concernant Robin, Sanji, Zoro et Usopp, nous vous donnerons vos cadeaux un peu plus tard. Toutefois, vous en avez d'autres qui vous attendent de la part de nos autres invités, donc venez déjà chercher ceux-là. De même pour Dragon, Smoker, Aokiji, Law, Pérona, Grégory, Benjamin, Quatre, Cro, Daz et Shanks.
Chacun d'eux acquiesça et la distribution se poursuivit : d'abord avec l'équipage de Shanks ensuite avec ceux des révolutionnaires Dragon, Sabo et Ivankov.
Vinrent en suivant Daz, Cro, Grégory, Benjamin et Quatre dans une première vague, puis Smoker et Aokiji pour compléter le groupe.
Pour finir, elles donnèrent à Mihawk, Trafalgar et à l'équipage de ce dernier leurs paquets respectifs, puis chacune d'entre elles récupéra les siens avant de retourner s'asseoir.
Entre tout, cela prit trois bonnes heures à répartir les cadeaux, aussi, alors que quatre heures du matin s'approchaient, Hinata ajouta quelques mots :
— À présent que tout le monde a été servi, il ne nous reste plus qu'à vous offrir vos derniers cadeaux de notre part à toutes les trois. Suivez-nous, précisa Hinata.
Tous les invités suivirent les trois jeunes femmes vers une grande salle toute en longueur, parfaitement décorée et remplie de chaises tournées vers le fond, là où se trouvait une petite estrade sur laquelle Hinata prit place et demanda le silence d'un geste de la main avant de prendre la parole. À l'exception de quelques personnes, tout le monde trouva un siège pour l'écouter tranquillement.
— Ce soir nous célébrons la Nativité, aussi voulais-je en profiter pour annoncer d'autres bonnes nouvelles. Certains d'entre vous en ont déjà entendu parlé récemment : il s'agit du vote d'une nouvelle loi…
— Une loi ?! De quoi s'agit-il exactement ? s'impatienta Crocodile.
— De mariage. J'ai fait voter une loi autorisant le mariage homosexuel.
— Quoi ?
Des voix s'élevèrent dans l'assistance, des cris de joie également.
— Je vous explique. L'idée était de vous faire un cadeau, mais pas n'importe quoi, quelque chose qui marque les esprits, alors…
— Son cadeau, ajoutèrent en cœur Léna et Apo.
— En tant que Reine, je peux marier qui je veux, et de pouvoir marier tous mes amis sans exception était mon vœu le plus cher. Aussi, le fait d'avoir pu faire passer cette loi me donne le droit de marier qui je veux et de vous faire plaisir en même temps. Certes, il y aura quelques petites variantes plus officieuses qu'officielles – comme pour Grégory et ses deux amours –, mais c'est déjà une belle avancée. De plus, maintenant que mes sœurs ont leur propre corps, elles peuvent pleinement épouser leur conjoint respectif.
— Vraiment ? s'écrièrent les quatre concernés.
— Oui, bien sûr ! Et encore joyeux Noël à vous tous.
Dans l'assistance les personnes se congratulaient, des mains se serraient, des bouches s'embrassaient passionnément. Parmi les couples dits « légitimes », certains avaient envisagé de pouvoir le faire un jour, mais à aucun moment ils n'avaient pensé le faire si vite. Cette nouvelle annoncée par Hinata leur fit chaud au cœur.
Aussi, cette nuit de Noël fut l'occasion de célébrer les premiers mariages de couples du même sexe, d'un « trouple » du même sexe – cet hapax semblait tout trouver pour l'occasion –, d'un Empereur et surtout de la Reine elle-même, ce qui justifia que chacun des convives vint vêtu suivant un « dress code » particulier : robes blanches ou claires pour les femmes, costumes foncés pour les hommes.
— Avant que chacun n'aille se reposer, je voudrais faire une dernière annonce. Comme vous l'avez remarqué, nous avons réussi à conserver chacune notre corps avec mes sœurs, et ce depuis six bons mois maintenant. Et nous travaillons à ce que cela perdure encore longtemps. Aussi, nous aimerions toutes les trois maintenant que vous ouvriez votre dernier cadeau messieurs…
— Encore un ? demanda Shanks surpris.
— Oh ouiiii, fit Apo toute excitée.
Shanks, Cro et Daz s'approchèrent pour récupérer leur mystérieux dernier cadeau. En l'ouvrant, ils eurent un temps d'arrêt tous les trois avant que Crocodile ne se jette dans les bras d'Apo :
— Oh ! Ce n'est pas vrai ? Je t'aime ma chérie, je t'aime si fort. C'est le plus beau jour de ma vie les filles, et merci Apo d'avoir révisé ton jugement… Je suis si content, vraiment…
Les deux autres le regardaient en se demandant s'il n'avait pas fondu un fusible ou tout simplement un trop arrosé la soirée.
— Eh bien, vous deux ? Toujours pas compris ?
— Désolé patron, mais… euh… comment dire…
— Je pense que ce que ton subordonné veut dire, c'est que nous ne voyons pas ce que nous pouvons faire de ça.
Dans la salle, de nombreux rires se déployèrent. Crocodile vint alors entre eux deux, posa sa main sur l'épaule de Shanks et son crochet sur celle de son compagnon de route et déclara d'une voix sérieuse :
— Mes très chers beaux-frères, ceci est une paire de chaussons pour bébé. Cela ne peut signifier qu'une chose : nous allons bientôt être pères !
Les deux hommes le regardèrent et tombèrent à la renverse. Les rires continuèrent pendant un petit moment à remplir la pièce où ils étaient tous réunis.
Ce Noël resta un moment mémorable et précieux pour la famille royale et ses amis, une soirée riche en émotion et en espoir pour l'avenir. Qui aurait pu prédire cela ? Certainement pas Hinata au moment où elle foula le bateau de Dracule Mihawk, quelques années auparavant.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Thunder/Bucks: Durant in doubt as Bucks look to bounce back
By Frank Madden Nov 20, 2010, 4:39pm CST
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2010/2011 NBA Season
5-7 (3-3 home)
8-4 (4-1 road)
Bradley Center
Radio: 620 WTMJ TV: FSN Wisconsin
Brandon Jennings
John Salmons
Luc Mbah a Moute
Thabo Sefolosha
Drew Gooden
Serge Ibaka
Andrew Bogut
Nenad Krstic
(30th) 100.2 - OFFENSE - 109.7 (6th)
(2nd) 99.7 - DEFENSE - 110.4 (26th)
(23rd) 91.3 - PACE - 93.0 (15th)
On the Thunder:
Welcome to Loud City / Daily Thunder
Durant and Green uncertain. As of Saturday afternoon there's no word yet on whether the tender ankles of Kevin Durant and Jeff Green will keep them out of action again, so it's not clear what kind of Thunder squad the Bucks will be facing 24 hours after their lackadaisical 90-79 loss in Philly. In contrast, the Thunder shrugged aside the absence of their starting forwards to grind out an impressive 89-84 win in Boston, as Russell Westbrook unloaded on Rajon Rondo for 31 points and six boards. The optimist in me would say that makes OKC ripe for a letdown in Milwaukee, but that same optimist would have also said the Bucks would take care of the lowly Sixers last night.
Big nights from Westbrook have become the norm this season, as the former UCLA stud is filling up the box score every which way: 23.9 ppg, 7.9 apg, 5.4 rpg, and 2.1 spg in nearly 38 mpg. That translates to a PER of 26.04, well ahead of Durant's very good-but-not-elite 21.18. Overall, OKC has now won three straight and five of six, though they curiously still have a negative scoring differential for the season despite winning two-thirds of their games. The opposite is true for the Bucks, as they have a positive scoring differential despite losing seven of 12 so far.
Misfiring. The Bucks' inability to make a three in Philly last night was the first time in over five years that they've failed to hit at least one triple, which more or less sums up how awful they've been on offense this season. The Bucks are now dead last in the NBA in eFG% and scoring efficiency, though they've also been incredibly inconsistent--three times in the past five games they've been excellent offensively (>51% eFG, >110 pts/100) and the other two they've been utterly abysmal. You never know which Bucks team you're going to get, though if there's an x-factor it might be John Salmons.
Salmons has averaged 17.4 ppg, 4.0 rpg and 3.6 apg on .483/.500/.905 shooting in the Bucks' five wins, but just 8.7 ppg on .288/.250/.778 in seven losses. It's a bit curious for a fairly balanced offense to be so reliant on one guy, but it makes a bit more sense when you consider how much of the Bucks' offense involves putting the ball in Salmons' hands. For better or (mostly) worse, the Bucks don't seem to adjust their offensive play-calling much when Salmons is off his game, and missing Chris Douglas-Roberts and Carlos Delfino doesn't leave Scott Skiles with many alternatives off the bench when Salmons is misfiring. | slim_pajama |
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries Kill Bill
My first attempt at a one shot. This was a mess. It came to me right before falling asleep. I woke up with the feeling I was supposed to write something and no clue what it was. After a lot of time, this is a poor version of what I came up with that night. I wish I'd know that I am supposed to write when inspiration hits, and you live and learn, then you get luvs.
**WEEKLY ONE-SHOT CHALLENGE: WEEK #24**
**DEADLINE: **Wednesday 9/16 Midnight PST
**Theme: **I give my gun away when it's loaded
Sitting out on my porch swinging gently and staring into the night, I heard rustling by the tree line. Perhaps it was the vampire blood, or maybe I just knew it was him, but I motioned Bill to come and join me.
He stepped out into the clearing and made his was slowly to the house. He was watching me cautiously as he came up the stairs, and pulled up a seat next to me on the swing.
"I wasn't stalking you, Sookie" he said trying to calm me.
" I didn't say you were Bill, but you have to admit it is kinda creepy having you lurk around my property".
"Sweetheart, I was just making sure you were safe."He responded, sounding very sweet and convincing.
" Please, stop coming around. I can take care of myself. I would call if I need you. Stop lurking around my house" I replied as indignantly as I could. There was something about my first love, that prevented me from unleashing the venom that I wanted to.
His hand brushed the hair from my eyes, and placed it behind my ear, softly touching my face and whispering " I would never force myself or my company on you , you invited me just now."
"Bill stop, just stop. You know good and well that I invited you after you had already came onto my property and you were already lurking in MY woods."
Then tell me to leave Sookie and mean it. I would have left you alone, if you meant it truly. But you never have. You still love me, you always will Sookie."
The words stung because I knew they were true. He would always be my first love. The one who took my virginity, and regardless of how things worked out, that still met something to me. Bill knew he had me.
"You may have a blood bond with Eric, but I will always be a part of you. I have something that Blood cannot override, no matter how strong- a bond is formed. You have killed for me Sookie, I was your first lover, you will never be free of your attraction to me. You are bound to me forever by something much stronger than any bond. Your own values and morals tie you to me."
I was shocked to hear it so bluntly. I was pissed. I stormed into my house, and dug in attic upstairs. I knew Bill wouldn't follow me since I had rescinded his invitation, so I dug for the gun and silver bullets I had bought a few months ago.
I wanted him to take the words back. He had to know he was wrong " No Bill I don't love you! I did once but not anymore. You lied to me!! You cheated on me!! You... You.. NEVER even Loved me!!!!" I screamed at him waving the gun around wildly punctuating each of my accusations.
"Do you wish to hurt me Sookie? You know that bullets won't do anything but hurt me. Do you wish to hurt me as I hurt you, darling?" he said patronizingly.
"I guess you really don't know me at all then. Bullets might not do much, but silver ones will." I said, coolly, calming down enough to steady to gun on his heart.
I heard wheels churning on the gravel at the end of my driveway, and my brothers thoughts getting stronger.
Bill smiled and said in his most warm and charming voice " You don't want to kill me Sookie. You can't. The same reason you will always be tied to me is the same reason you will never be able to kill me. You couldn't do it to yourself."
Jason had pulled up and ran up the porch.. "Sookie what's wrong. Need me to sharpen a broom handle? What''d he do?"
I wanted to pull the trigger so bad. I wanted it to end.. He couldn't be right, even thought I knew he was.
"Sookie, you still love me. Put down the gun darling, You don't have to admit it now, I will wait. I know you will compare everyone to me. I will be the one you always come back to. It will be ok."
Jason approached me "Sook, come on now, Vampire Bill's not that bad. No reason to get all crazy now trying to scare him. Give me the gun Sookie."
I was suddenly realized that I had revealed that I had a gun with silver bullets to a vampire who would take it the wrong way.. What would happen when the others found out. I knew to many vampires, and more than a few would take it as an offense. I had revealed my ace in the hole. As I though about that Jason took a step towards me taking me softly asking me to hand him the gun.
I knew Bill was right. I would never be able to move on as long as he kept coming around. Living right next door was just to close, and I knew he still cared. Knowing he was always around, kept me from bringing people home, I cared to much what he thought. He knew the hold he held over me. Not only that but he was still manipulating me. Playing on the 'values and morals" that I had to keep me alone, and eventually back to him.
I also knew I could never kill him. He was just to much part of my life. I turned to Jason, and _gave my gun away when it's loaded_, but not before telling my brother. "He raped me in Jackson.", and walked in the house.
I head the roar of the gun as I closed my door, and I sunk to the floor sobbing. Crying for the loss of my first love, my first lover, my first moments of quite and peace. But most importantly, I cried for my freedom. I was finally going to be able to move on.
End file.
| fanfiction |
Naruto Aftermath
**The Aftermath: A Naruto Fanfiction**
**A/N****: Well hi there! I am Bru-sensei, and I am bringing to you my version of the ending of Naruto. I, along with most of you, was unhappy with how Naruto ended. I am here to set that straight with my story. This is going to be a series of chapters following the events of the war, and I hope to solve some of the plot holes left by Kishimoto in his rushed and hurried ending. I do not agree with how the characters were OOC and I will remedy that. Also, NARUHINA and SASUSAKU ARE NOT CANON IN MY STORY! NEVER WILL BE! Those ship's fans can hate my story all they want. I don't care. It may be canon in their accepted version of Naruto, but I am making a different one. It's one where team 7 has more interaction as a team, one where Taka doesn't disappear, covers Kakashi becoming hokage, etc. Stuff we wanted to know but were denied, and I won't stand for it. The story may be a bit about my favorite pairing, NaruSaku, but I will cover these other points as well.**
**But why don't I stop talking and get on with the story…**
**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. I DO NOT HAVE MONEY. THEREFORE, SUING ME WILL NOT ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING. **
**Enjoy! FAV, FOLLOW, REVIEW!**
**Ch. 1 Announcements**
* * *
"So what happens now?" asked a worn out Naruto as Sakura helped carry him back towards Konoha.
"We rebuild…" answered Kakashi as he helped carry Sasuke, "It's all we can do from this point forward. We won, but lost so much in the process."
"Right now, I just want some sleep…" Naruto stated as his eyes drooped, "Whatever happens in the future, we can handle it, together." Then the four of them smiled as they continued on their way back home.
* * *
**A Couple Days Later…**
"We're here, Lady Tsunade…" Sakura said as she and the rest of team 7 entered the fifth's office. "May I ask what did you want to see us for?"
Tsunade sat behind her desk in the office of the Hokage Mansion with her usual outfit on and a stack of papers still on said desk. Behind her stood Shizune, holding Ton-Ton like she usually would. She remained silent for a moment, looking at each of the ones in front of her, from Naruto, to Sakura, then Sasuke and Kakashi.
Naruto wore one of his black t-shirts and a pair of orange pants. He did not have another jacket to replace his old one at the moment, but he was working on it. He was also without a headband, waiting for the village to finish making his new one. Along with his ninja footgear, Naruto had bandages on his right arm just below the elbow, where the rest of the arm should have been and around his left eye. He looked preoccupied by something else at the moment, as Tsunade continued to gaze at the rest of them.
Sasuke had a similar bandage to Naruto's on his left arm, and wore an outfit similar to his old one except for a black cloak that hung over his shoulders. Sakura and Kakashi each had on their usual outfits as well.
As Tsunade finished looking over the group, she sighed and then began, "I asked for you all to come today, so that I can inform you all on a few matters. The first news being that I am studying my grandfather's cells and I believe that I can make some prosthetics for both Naruto and Sasuke."
"Really, that's awesome. You're the greatest Baa-Chan!" exclaimed Naruto with a beaming smile.
"Thank you…" was all Sasuke muttered as he nodded his head in thanks towards Tsunade.
"You both should be thanking Sakura…She's the one who suggested it in the first place…" continued the fifth.
The two turned towards their teammate as Naruto asked, "Really? Thanks Sakura-Chan! What would we do without you?"
"What he said…" Sasuke said as he grinned towards the other two.
Sakura blushed as she answered their thanks, "It wasn't that much of a stretch to think the First's cells could help you both. Besides, what was I supposed to do? Watch as you both struggled to adjust to life with one hand."
"He-he…" Naruto chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah…I'm having a bit of trouble…" He was thinking about that morning when he knocked over his milk reaching for it with the wrong arm.
Tsunade then cleared her throat to get their attention once more as they all turned to hear what else that she needed to say. "The second reason I gathered you all here today, is that I wanted you to know first that I'm stepping down as Hokage…"
Naruto and Sakura gasped while Sasuke and Kakashi remained calm. "What, why are you doing this now Granny?" asked the blonde.
Tsunade leaned back into her chair and sighed again, "Well, I realized that I am getting too old for this…After the war ended, I just felt that it was time to pass on the position to someone younger than myself, so I made plans and spoke with the Konoha elders before picking my successor."
"B-but just who did you pick to be your successor, Lady Tsunade?" asked her pink-haired student.
"I think you'll all agree that the man is more capable to take the position at this point than anyone else. After all, he is your teacher. Which is why I talked with all the elders and they agreed that you," she paused as she turned to the silver-haired captain of Team Seven, "Kakashi are to be the next Hokage after me."
"I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me…" said the masked man in a joking tone, "Well, I guess this an offer I can't refuse…I accept, Lady Tsunade."
Naruto turned and nudged Sakura before whispering in a funny tone, "Now we all have been students of a Hokage, Sakura-Chan. Ow!" He began to rub his gut where she had just elbowed him.
"Congratulations, Kakashi-Sensei!" exclaimed Sakura, quickly ignoring the wheezing blonde next to her. "I couldn't see it being anyone other than you!"
Sasuke smirked and added, "Agreed."
Naruto struggled to catch his breath as he added, "Yeah…cough…you the man, Kakashi-Sensei…cough."
Tsunade gave the blonde an odd look as she thought, '_Hmm…He's taking it well…In the past, he would've been complaining that I hadn't chosen him…Heh…I still know that one day it will be your seat, Naruto.'_
"I just thought that you three should be the first to know. Just keep it a secret for now, just until I formally announce it…" the Fifth added as the three ninja in front of her nodded in understanding. "Good, then Naruto and Sakura, you may leave. I still have some things I need to discuss with Sasuke and Kakashi."
"Okay…" began Naruto as he turned for the door, "See ya later Baa-chan, Sasuke, Sensei!"
"Bye!" added Sakura as she followed behind him.
After the door closed, Tsunade turned her attention to the Raiven-Haired teen in front of her. "Sasuke, I really need to speak with you at this moment about your intentions. Kakashi must be here as well, since he will be responsible for you as well as me in the future."
Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment and thought, "I do not wish to stay in the village for very long…"
Tsunade nodded and said, "Hmm…I see…May I ask why that is?"
Sasuke again paused before speaking, "I do not feel ready to come back yet…I've done so much already that I just need some time to reflect before staying for good."
"So you want to leave and roam about once again?" asked Kakashi.
"Yes…" answered the raven-haired teen.
"Well there is a problem there," began Tsunade, "I figured you might feel that way, and I discussed it with the elders as well. At this moment, they do not trust you enough to let you outside of the village just yet. Although there is not much anyone can do to stop you, they insist you remain until you regain enough of their trust to let you leave as you see fit."
"I see…" answered Sasuke before thinking for a moment, "I understand and fully respect their wishes. I will stay for now."
"Good…" Tsunade added, satisfied with his answer. "Now, I also wanted you to know that we have offered members of your team, Taka, to stay in Konoha as well, for they all seem to want to follow you, and we do not mind that they stay, as long as they don't cause any trouble."
The Uchiha smirked and said, "It's fine with me. There's room in the compound for them, if that's ok."
"Yes…that will do nicely…" finished Tsunade with a grin of her own, "You can go now, Sasuke."
The raven-haired teen nodded and left the room before the fifth turned to Kakashi and asked, "Think he'll be alright?"
"Yeah…" began Kakashi, "He really does seem to have a better attitude, although he still likes to keep to himself. I think he'll be fine…" Once done talking, he took out and started to read his favorite book.
"Good enough for me…" Tsunade concluded before opening her drawer for some sake. '_I am going to be so glad when I don't have to think about this crap every damn minute.'_
* * *
**Outside the Hokage Mansion**
Naruto and Sakura walked down the path back into the main part of the village, talking with one another. As they moved from subject to subject, Naruto couldn't help but think, '_Why did she come with me? I thought that she would wait for Sasuke to finish meeting with Baa-Chan…' _but he soon pushed those thoughts aside and shrugged, deciding to take what he could get with the prettiest girl he knew.
Realizing that he had been absent-minded while she was talking to him, the blonde changed the subject out of fear of being asked what he thought about her subject. "So, Sakura-Chan," Naruto began, causing the pinkette to turn to him, "how will this prosthetic work?"
Sakura raised an eyebrow, honestly astounded that Naruto even asked for her about the prosthetic. '_Wow…He's thinking ahead…'_ Then she said, "Honestly, I don't know yet. Tsunade-sama and I still need to do some more research before we can even attempt to make one. Once we figure it out I can let you in on the details…Why did you ask?"
The blonde started to feel like he was being led into a trap, "Ummm…Well…I was curious…"
Sakura stared good and hard at Naruto, making him sweat bullets, but she decided to let it go. "Whatever…" Then she glanced to her left and saw a clock on the wall outside of a shop, "What! It's that time already! I got to go Naruto, I am late for my shift at the hospital!" and she took off running in the direction of said hospital. Sakura had been appointed head of the medical staff by Tsunade once everyone who could came home from the war, and it was busy work with all the wounded still recovering.
"Okay…See ya later, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said before sighing. '_Thank goodness she didn't catch me…I don't want another bruise on my head…'_ The blonde then shrugged and was about to turn for his apartment when his stomach growled, stopping him in his tracks. '_On second thought, Ichiraku sounds nice.'_
End of Chapter 1.
* * *
**A/N: Well I decided to end it here. I didn't want to get too far into the story with one chapter, and this is how far I got. I plan for some more interaction later on, but for now you will just have to wait my little readers…MWAHAHAHA…! Oh…I wrote that evil laugh down! CRAP! Ummm…not really evil…but you will have to wait and see what else I have in store for our favorite characters.**
**Thanks,**
**Bru-sensei.**
**J**
End file.
| fanfiction |
How to compare the acidity of this multicyclic hydrocarbon to the acidity of cyclopentadiene?
This is the question:
>
> Which one is more acidic?
>
>
> [](https://i.stack.imgur.com/rTJDg.png)
>
>
>
According to me, cyclopentadiene should have been the answer, as losing a proton would make it aromatic; whereas the first option doesn't need deprotonation to be aromatic, it already is. However the first option is given as the correct one.
I have come up with the following reasonings as to why the first option should be more acidic:
1. Deprotonation might impart aromaticity to the pentagonal rings too which would act as the driving force to lose the proton.
2. The negative charge on central carbon (after deprotonation) would be in conjugation with the $\pi$ electrons of the three rings which would make the entire molecule planar and hence reduce the strain on the three bonds that are directly linking the benzene rings. This could be another driving force for deprotonation.
The second reasoning seems much convincing to me but I fail to understand how can I compare that factor with the aromaticity factor involved in cyclopentadiene.
The method presented by Yusuf is a simplified model, which works best for well-behaved molecules. Unfortunately in this case it presents the 'correct' result based on incorrect assumptions. (Even though I did a calculation, I am not 100% convinced this is actually the correct result in the first place.)
In order for the resonance to stabilise a negative charge, the π-systems must be aligned, which is the case for the deprotonation of cyclopentadiene, but it certainly is not true for the other molecule **F** ([Loong said](https://chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/message/53931986#53931986) it's called 3a2*H*-benzo[3,4]pentaleno[2,1,6,5-*jklm*]fluorene). Here is the calculated structure at the ri-BP86/def2-SVP level of theory:
[![structure of 3a2H-benzo[3,4]pentaleno[2,1,6,5-jklm]fluorene](https://i.stack.imgur.com/WhSy5.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/WhSy5.png)
As you can see, it is domed, and there are three (almost) independent aromatic systems. Through deprotonation this will not change much.
A reason for its relatively high acidity can be found in applying Coulson's Theorem, where the bond angle between two $\mathrm{sp}^x$ hybrid orbitals can be calculated from their angle $\omega\_{ij}$ and their hybridisation indexes $\lambda\_x$:
$$\cos(\omega\_{ij}) = -\frac{1}{\sqrt{\lambda\_i\lambda\_j}}$$
Since the molecule is *C*3v symmetric, therefore $\lambda\_i = \lambda\_j \mathop{:=} x$, this simplifies to:
$$ x = -\sec(x)$$
The inner angle is $\approx\pu{102^\circ}$, therefore $x \approx 5$. The term for hybrid orbitals is actually just an abbreviation:
$$\mathrm{sp}^{x} = \mathrm{s}^{\frac{1}{x+1}}\mathrm{p}^{\frac{x}{x+1}}$$
Given that we just form linear combinations, we can see:
\begin{align}
1\times\mathrm{s}, 3\times\mathrm{p}
&\leadsto 3\times\mathrm{sp}^5, 1\times\mathrm{sp}
\end{align}
Given the rounding I have done, the remaining orbital is very roughly speaking an $\mathrm{sp}$ orbital; in the same ballpark as acetylene, from which we know that it has a very acidic proton.
**The reason for the high acidity is therefore *not* the stabilisation of the conjugate base, but the destabilisation of the acid.** This is the completely reverse reasoning as cor cyclopentadiene, in which the corresponding base is massively stabilised by resonance.
---
Given the above, how are you supposed to know, and how are you supposed to judge these compounds?
In my opinion, the exercise is something more on the level of quantum chemistry course and belongs into the canon of a masters student. While simply models will accidentally produce the correct result, it is important to see, that they completely fail for **F**. Structure-property relationships cannot be inferred from a 2D-graph of the molecule. To be honest, the reasoning above was also rather post-hoc, after I have calculated the molecule and analysed its structure.
I believe, (as long as you are not a human calculator), that there is no simple way to tell which of those molecules is more acidic; there is no easy way to weigh the stabilising effect of resonance against the destabilising effect of pyramidalization.
On the ri-BP86/def2-SVP level of theory (which is rather crude, but I don't have a supercomputer at home) it really comes out that **F** is more acidic. The following isodesmic reaction yields a difference in electronic energy of about $\Delta E\_\mathrm{el} = \pu{-92.8 kJ mol-1}$.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/EDzFG.png)
**Important:** Even though the above sound reasonable, it still neglects plenty of things and has other shortcomings; to name the most important: thermal corrections, solvent effects, level of theory.
---
**Addendum:**
Upon deprotonation the structure does not change very much ([see larger image](https://i.stack.imgur.com/Sosla.png)), it remains very domed, see the overlay of the structures below.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/MkhUX.png)
Judging from the three highest occupied molecular orbitals (HOMO, HOMO -1, HOMO -2) we can still presume some delocalisation of the negative charge into the adjacent aromatic rings.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/04rAa.png)
---
I'm talking more about hybridisation, Bent's rule, and Coulson's theorem in the following: [Are the lone pairs in water equivalent?](https://chemistry.stackexchange.com/q/50906/4945)
You can take both factors (1) and (2) combined as the reasoning for the greater acidity of the former.
When you are comparing stability (in thermodynamic terms) of two conjugate bases, you are basically trying to position them with respect to each other on the energy axis of the [energy profile](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Energy_profile_(chemistry)) (or reaction coordinate diagram).
In this case, the reaction coordinate (RC) for both the intermediates remains fixed (as a similar reaction, namely, deprotonation has occurred for both the reactants), while you try to use qualitative arguments to position them relative to each other on the energy axis.
In that spirit, one basic idea which we can use to check is that by seeing that:
>
> More is the energy released by the system in form of resonance, more will be the stability of the negative charge.
>
>
>
Note that if you look at the reactants themselves, the first species is releasing roughly 3 times the resonance energy of benzene more as compared to the second one due to the presence of three benzene rings. Hence, we can estimate that the former should have had a lower energy positioning than the latter to start with.
After proton abstraction from both, like you said, 3 more five-membered aromatic rings will be generated in the former system, plus the negative charge can be delocalised over the three benzene rings. So now, if you see, the latter species is stabilising by an extent equivalent to the resonance energy of one cyclopentadienyl anion.
For the former, the system is releasing energies equivalent to (resonance energy of 3 cyclopentadienyl anions) + (resonance energy of 3 benzyl anions).
So, by a qualitative estimate, the (1) species should be energetically more stable than the (2).
| stackexchange/chemistry |
in the province of ontario , invasive infections with gas ( isolation of gas from blood or an otherwise sterile site ) and cases of suspected tss and necrotizing fasciitis must be reported to local public health authorities ( 15 ) .
reports of invasive gas infection originating from long - term care institutions in the city of hamilton resulted in an epidemiologic investigation by the city of hamilton social and public health services department .
in the two outbreaks described below , investigations consisted of site visits with line - listings created to identify facility residents and staff ; reviews of recent admissions , discharges , and deaths among residents ; and reviews of reports of illness among residents and staff .
attempts were made to identify facility residents and staff with close epidemiologic linkage to the index patients ( e.g. , caregivers , roommates , and close friends ) . although typically only persons with epidemiologic linkage to index patients are cultured for possible gas carriage , the circumstances described below resulted in more widespread collection of culture specimens .
specimens were obtained from noses and pharynges of residents and staff , and attempts were made to obtain cultures of perirectal areas and wounds in facility residents . in the second outbreak described below , staff provided self - collected rectal and vaginal swabs .
swabs from institution residents and staff were plated onto blood agar , with group a streptococcus identified by -hemolysis and lancefield typing using standard commercially available latex agglutination methods , as described elsewhere ( 16 ) .
isolates were subsequently evaluated for relatedness by using pulsed - field gel electrophoresis ( pfge ) .
isolates were suspended in buffered saline , and solutions were adjusted in volume until optical densities ( od ) were identical ( 1.6 od at 610 nm ) . to prepare genomic dna ,
500 l of cell suspension from each strain was mixed with an equal volume of 2% low melting agarose solution .
the agarose plug was prepared by using a commercially available plug mould ( bio - rad canada limited , mississauga , ontario , canada ) .
all gas plugs were treated in lysis buffer containing 50 g / ml lysozyme at 37c overnight , extensively washed in washing buffer , and then treated in a solution containing 50 g / ml protease k at 55c overnight .
pfge was run by using a 1% agarose gel at 6 volts / cm ; run time was 26 h with an initial switch time of 20 s and a final switch time of 60 s. following gel electrophoresis , the gel was stained in a solution containing 0.5 g / ml ethidium bromide and photographed by using the bio - rad multi - analysis ccd camera system .
m and t serologic typing and opacity factor determination were performed on all isolates with standardized methods ( 17 ) .
in addition , antiopacity factor ( aof ) typing was performed on all isolates that were opacity factor positive ( 17 ) .
all antisera were prepared in - house . because of the difficulty of producing antisera for some m types , aof typing has been frequently used to predict the m type ( 18,19 ) . although aof typing does not always have the same type specificity as m typing , this approach is considered valid for most strains from developed countries ( 20 ) .
aof typing was used to predict the following m types : 9 , 11 , 25 , 28 , 48 , 77 , 78 and 92 ( pt5118 ) .
in the province of ontario , invasive infections with gas ( isolation of gas from blood or an otherwise sterile site ) and cases of suspected tss and necrotizing fasciitis must be reported to local public health authorities ( 15 ) .
reports of invasive gas infection originating from long - term care institutions in the city of hamilton resulted in an epidemiologic investigation by the city of hamilton social and public health services department .
in the two outbreaks described below , investigations consisted of site visits with line - listings created to identify facility residents and staff ; reviews of recent admissions , discharges , and deaths among residents ; and reviews of reports of illness among residents and staff .
attempts were made to identify facility residents and staff with close epidemiologic linkage to the index patients ( e.g. , caregivers , roommates , and close friends ) . although typically only persons with epidemiologic linkage to index patients are cultured for possible gas carriage , the circumstances described below resulted in more widespread collection of culture specimens .
specimens were obtained from noses and pharynges of residents and staff , and attempts were made to obtain cultures of perirectal areas and wounds in facility residents . in the second outbreak described below , staff provided self - collected rectal and vaginal swabs .
swabs from institution residents and staff were plated onto blood agar , with group a streptococcus identified by -hemolysis and lancefield typing using standard commercially available latex agglutination methods , as described elsewhere ( 16 ) .
isolates were subsequently evaluated for relatedness by using pulsed - field gel electrophoresis ( pfge ) .
isolates were suspended in buffered saline , and solutions were adjusted in volume until optical densities ( od ) were identical ( 1.6 od at 610 nm ) . to prepare genomic dna , 500 l of cell suspension from each strain was mixed with an equal volume of 2% low melting agarose solution .
the agarose plug was prepared by using a commercially available plug mould ( bio - rad canada limited , mississauga , ontario , canada ) .
all gas plugs were treated in lysis buffer containing 50 g / ml lysozyme at 37c overnight , extensively washed in washing buffer , and then treated in a solution containing 50 g / ml protease k at 55c overnight .
pfge was run by using a 1% agarose gel at 6 volts / cm ; run time was 26 h with an initial switch time of 20 s and a final switch time of 60 s. following gel electrophoresis , the gel was stained in a solution containing 0.5 g / ml ethidium bromide and photographed by using the bio - rad multi - analysis ccd camera system .
m and t serologic typing and opacity factor determination were performed on all isolates with standardized methods ( 17 ) .
in addition , antiopacity factor ( aof ) typing was performed on all isolates that were opacity factor positive ( 17 ) .
all antisera were prepared in - house . because of the difficulty of producing antisera for some m types , aof typing has been frequently used to predict the m type ( 18,19 ) . although aof typing does not always have the same type specificity as m typing , this approach is considered valid for most strains from developed countries ( 20 ) .
aof typing was used to predict the following m types : 9 , 11 , 25 , 28 , 48 , 77 , 78 and 92 ( pt5118 ) .
in october 2000 , the hamilton public health unit was notified of a 97-year - old female nursing home resident ( index case - patient 1 ) admitted to an area hospital with cellulitis and group a streptococcal bacteremia .
cultures were obtained as described from 87 residents and staff who might have had contact with the person with invasive disease .
this isolate was genetically indistinguishable by pfge analysis from the invasive isolate obtained from index case - patient 1 , and both strains were typed as m77 t9/10 , and positive for serum opacity factor .
intervention consisted of reinforcement of standard infection control practices with facility staff and treatment of the person with pharyngeal colonization with a 10-day course of cephalexin , 250 mg four times per day .
follow - up cultures from this person taken 1 month after completion of treatment were negative .
index case - patient 1 died during the course of the investigation of apparently unrelated cardiac disease . in january 2001 ,
an 87-year - old female resident of the same long - term care facility was transported to hospital with fever ( index case - patient 2 ) , and gas was isolated from blood cultures drawn at admission .
several days later , gas was isolated from the wound of another facility resident . screening cultures performed on 195 residents and staff with a history of contact with one of these two infected persons indicated that seven residents and one staff member were colonized with gas .
pfge showed that the strains from all resident carriers were identical to the wound and blood isolates , and to the isolate obtained from index case 1 . the bacterial isolate obtained from the staff member
colonized residents and staff were treated with cephalexin as had been done with the previous patient .
cultures obtained from treated persons 1 month after completion of therapy were again negative . in may 2001 ,
another resident of this nursing home was transported to hospital with gas bacteremia ( index case - patient 3 ) . at this time , all 386 residents and 135 staff of the facility were screened for gas carriage by culturing nasopharynx specimens .
thirteen of these ( 11 residents and two staff members ) subsequently proved to be carrying strains identified by pfge analysis to be identical to the strain obtained from index case - patient 2 ( figure 1 ) ( prevalence of colonization or infection among residents was 2.8% vs. prevalence of colonization 1.5% among staff , p=0.38 by chi - square test ) .
pulsed field gel electrophoresis , demonstrating relatedness of group a streptococcal isolates from an person with clinical illness from gas , a person with chronic colonization with gas , and asymptomatically colonized facility staff and residents .
the isolate in lane 2 ( large solid arrow ) was obtained from index case - patient 2 in january 2001 .
the isolate in lane 7 ( large hollow arrow ) was obtained from a person with chronic gas colonization ( resident a ) in may 2001 .
small solid arrows denote electrophoretically identical gas strains from other persons with asymptomatic colonization with group a streptococcus in may 2001 .
one of the residents colonized with gas ( resident a ) was a 69-year - old woman , immobilized by severe neurologic disease , who had a suprapubic bladder catheter and a gastrostomy tube .
resident a was subsequently determined to have had urine and wound cultures positive for gas in july 2000 , 3 months before index case - patient 1 sought treatment ; these isolates were unavailable for evaluation .
after consultation with local communicable disease control experts , the public health team recommended administering antibiotics to all facility residents and staff .
all residents were treated with a 10-day course of cephalexin or penicillin vk , with erythromycin given to persons allergic to -lactam agents .
no data are available with regard to the degree of compliance with antibiotic therapy among staff .
however , all previously colonized staff members were culture - negative for group a streptococcus on repeat culturing 1 month later .
ten of 11 treated residents had cultures negative for group a streptococcus 1 month after treatment .
resident a remained persistently colonized at gastrostomy and catheter sites , despite a subsequent prolonged course of oral clindamycin .
this resident was placed on contact isolation precautions , with staff using gowns and gloves when participating in her care .
no subsequent cases of invasive group a streptococcal disease have been reported at this facility as of february 2003 . however , in august 2002 , gas was identified in cultures of eye drainage and wound drainage from three residents of a single wing of the facility ( figure 2 ) .
pfge demonstrated two of the three isolates to be indistinguishable by pfge from isolates obtained from resident a. neither of these persons had been present in the facility at the time of invasive cases , and neither had been housed in the same part of the facility as resident a. an audit of infection control procedures at that time showed several violations of standard infection control measures , including the reuse of a single washcloth on multiple residents of the facility .
clinical cases ( black bars ) of invasive gas infection occurred at intervals of 3 to 4 months . with the occurrence of cases , acquisition of culture specimens resulted in identification of asymptomatic colonization with the outbreak strain ( white bars ) or unrelated strains ( hatched bars ) in other residents and staff .
no additional clinical cases occurred after mass antibiotic treatment ( m.a.t . ) ; resident a died ( ) in july 2002 ; colonization of two residents with the outbreak strain was recognized 1 month later . in november 2001 , the hamilton public health unit was notified of two deaths from invasive group a streptococcal disease at a 126-bed long - term care facility .
the first case - patient was a 78-year - old man who had been admitted to the hospital with fever and possible pneumonia 2 days before .
the second case - patient was a 61-year - old man with parkinson s disease and dementia who had been admitted to the hospital 1 day before with soft skin tissue infection and likely necrotizing fasciitis .
both patients died on the day the cases were reported to the public health department .
the two cases had originated on different floors of the facility ( 2nd and 4th ) .
a large holiday party had been held in the communal dining hall 4 days previously , providing an opportunity for residents , staff , and community members to mingle . in addition , a healthcare worker reportedly had pharyngitis , a rash , and desquamation of the palms and had received a diagnosis of scarlet fever 3 weeks earlier .
due to the lack of any epidemiologic link between case - patients and the population mixing that had occurred at the holiday party , swab cultures were collected on all facility residents and all available staff members .
epidemic control measures were introduced and included restriction of new admissions to the facility and reinforcement of infection control practices .
based on the rapidity of events , the apparent high case - fatality rate , and recent experience with the failure of targeted culturing and treatment ( as described in outbreak 1 ) , a decision was made to initiate mass antibiotic treatment for all facility residents and staff .
after that decision , but before mass antibiotic treatment could be initiated , an 89-year - old male resident was admitted to the hospital with congestive heart failure .
this man died 36 h after admission ; gas was isolated from blood cultures taken at hospital admission ( figure 3 ) .
solid lines represent the time of onset and duration of illness among three cases with invasive gas infection in outbreak 2 , relative to the initiation of the outbreak investigation ( date=0 )
mass antibiotic treatment was initiated approximately 48 h after the start of the investigation , with azithromycin , 250 mg orally each day , administered for 5 days to residents and to staff who wished to be treated at the facility .
staff who wished to receive antibiotic treatment from their personal physicians were permitted to do so .
subsequently , gas was isolated from nasal and pharyngeal cultures of two staff members and five residents of the facility .
all colonized residents were negative for gas on repeat cultures , 4 weeks after receiving antibiotics .
one staff member remained culture positive 2 weeks after completing a course of cephalexin provided by her personal physician ; she received two additional courses of -lactam antibiotics and was documented to be culture negative for gas 4 weeks after she completed the second antibiotic course .
pfge performed on the three gas strains from case - patients and the seven strains from colonized residents and staff showed that four colonized persons had isolates identical to those from the deceased case - patients ; all were serotype m1 t1 and were serum opacity factor negative ( figure 4 ) .
the proportion of residents colonized or infected with the outbreak strain was significantly higher than the proportion of staff colonized ( 4.7% vs. 0.7% , p=0.03 by chi - square test ) .
pulsed - field gel electrophoresis , demonstrating relatedness of group a streptococcal isolates from facility staff and residents .
solid arrows denote identical strains from two of the three persons in whom fatal invasive group a streptococcal infection developed ; the third person with invasive disease had an electrophoretically identical strain ( not shown ) .
in october 2000 , the hamilton public health unit was notified of a 97-year - old female nursing home resident ( index case - patient 1 ) admitted to an area hospital with cellulitis and group a streptococcal bacteremia .
cultures were obtained as described from 87 residents and staff who might have had contact with the person with invasive disease .
this isolate was genetically indistinguishable by pfge analysis from the invasive isolate obtained from index case - patient 1 , and both strains were typed as m77 t9/10 , and positive for serum opacity factor .
intervention consisted of reinforcement of standard infection control practices with facility staff and treatment of the person with pharyngeal colonization with a 10-day course of cephalexin , 250 mg four times per day .
follow - up cultures from this person taken 1 month after completion of treatment were negative .
index case - patient 1 died during the course of the investigation of apparently unrelated cardiac disease . in january 2001 ,
an 87-year - old female resident of the same long - term care facility was transported to hospital with fever ( index case - patient 2 ) , and gas was isolated from blood cultures drawn at admission .
several days later , gas was isolated from the wound of another facility resident . screening cultures performed on 195 residents and staff with a history of contact with one of these two infected persons indicated that seven residents and one staff member were colonized with gas .
pfge showed that the strains from all resident carriers were identical to the wound and blood isolates , and to the isolate obtained from index case 1 . the bacterial isolate obtained from the staff member
colonized residents and staff were treated with cephalexin as had been done with the previous patient .
cultures obtained from treated persons 1 month after completion of therapy were again negative . in may 2001 ,
another resident of this nursing home was transported to hospital with gas bacteremia ( index case - patient 3 ) . at this time , all 386 residents and 135 staff of the facility were screened for gas carriage by culturing nasopharynx specimens .
thirteen of these ( 11 residents and two staff members ) subsequently proved to be carrying strains identified by pfge analysis to be identical to the strain obtained from index case - patient 2 ( figure 1 ) ( prevalence of colonization or infection among residents was 2.8% vs. prevalence of colonization 1.5% among staff , p=0.38 by chi - square test ) .
pulsed field gel electrophoresis , demonstrating relatedness of group a streptococcal isolates from an person with clinical illness from gas , a person with chronic colonization with gas , and asymptomatically colonized facility staff and residents .
the isolate in lane 2 ( large solid arrow ) was obtained from index case - patient 2 in january 2001 .
the isolate in lane 7 ( large hollow arrow ) was obtained from a person with chronic gas colonization ( resident a ) in may 2001 .
small solid arrows denote electrophoretically identical gas strains from other persons with asymptomatic colonization with group a streptococcus in may 2001 .
one of the residents colonized with gas ( resident a ) was a 69-year - old woman , immobilized by severe neurologic disease , who had a suprapubic bladder catheter and a gastrostomy tube .
resident a was subsequently determined to have had urine and wound cultures positive for gas in july 2000 , 3 months before index case - patient 1 sought treatment ; these isolates were unavailable for evaluation .
after consultation with local communicable disease control experts , the public health team recommended administering antibiotics to all facility residents and staff .
all residents were treated with a 10-day course of cephalexin or penicillin vk , with erythromycin given to persons allergic to -lactam agents .
no data are available with regard to the degree of compliance with antibiotic therapy among staff .
however , all previously colonized staff members were culture - negative for group a streptococcus on repeat culturing 1 month later .
ten of 11 treated residents had cultures negative for group a streptococcus 1 month after treatment .
resident a remained persistently colonized at gastrostomy and catheter sites , despite a subsequent prolonged course of oral clindamycin .
this resident was placed on contact isolation precautions , with staff using gowns and gloves when participating in her care .
no subsequent cases of invasive group a streptococcal disease have been reported at this facility as of february 2003 . however , in august 2002 , gas was identified in cultures of eye drainage and wound drainage from three residents of a single wing of the facility ( figure 2 ) .
pfge demonstrated two of the three isolates to be indistinguishable by pfge from isolates obtained from resident a. neither of these persons had been present in the facility at the time of invasive cases , and neither had been housed in the same part of the facility as resident a. an audit of infection control procedures at that time showed several violations of standard infection control measures , including the reuse of a single washcloth on multiple residents of the facility .
clinical cases ( black bars ) of invasive gas infection occurred at intervals of 3 to 4 months . with the occurrence of cases , acquisition of culture specimens resulted in identification of asymptomatic colonization with the outbreak strain ( white bars ) or unrelated strains ( hatched bars ) in other residents and staff .
no additional clinical cases occurred after mass antibiotic treatment ( m.a.t . ) ; resident a died ( ) in july 2002 ; colonization of two residents with the outbreak strain was recognized 1 month later .
in november 2001 , the hamilton public health unit was notified of two deaths from invasive group a streptococcal disease at a 126-bed long - term care facility .
the first case - patient was a 78-year - old man who had been admitted to the hospital with fever and possible pneumonia 2 days before .
the second case - patient was a 61-year - old man with parkinson s disease and dementia who had been admitted to the hospital 1 day before with soft skin tissue infection and likely necrotizing fasciitis .
both patients died on the day the cases were reported to the public health department .
the two cases had originated on different floors of the facility ( 2nd and 4th ) .
a large holiday party had been held in the communal dining hall 4 days previously , providing an opportunity for residents , staff , and community members to mingle . in addition , a healthcare worker reportedly had pharyngitis , a rash , and desquamation of the palms and had received a diagnosis of scarlet fever 3 weeks earlier .
due to the lack of any epidemiologic link between case - patients and the population mixing that had occurred at the holiday party , swab cultures were collected on all facility residents and all available staff members .
epidemic control measures were introduced and included restriction of new admissions to the facility and reinforcement of infection control practices . based on the rapidity of events , the apparent high case - fatality rate , and recent experience with the failure of targeted culturing and treatment ( as described in outbreak 1 ) , a decision was made to initiate mass antibiotic treatment for all facility residents and staff .
after that decision , but before mass antibiotic treatment could be initiated , an 89-year - old male resident was admitted to the hospital with congestive heart failure .
this man died 36 h after admission ; gas was isolated from blood cultures taken at hospital admission ( figure 3 ) .
solid lines represent the time of onset and duration of illness among three cases with invasive gas infection in outbreak 2 , relative to the initiation of the outbreak investigation ( date=0 ) .
mass antibiotic treatment was initiated approximately 48 h after the start of the investigation , with azithromycin , 250 mg orally each day , administered for 5 days to residents and to staff who wished to be treated at the facility .
staff who wished to receive antibiotic treatment from their personal physicians were permitted to do so .
subsequently , gas was isolated from nasal and pharyngeal cultures of two staff members and five residents of the facility .
all colonized residents were negative for gas on repeat cultures , 4 weeks after receiving antibiotics .
one staff member remained culture positive 2 weeks after completing a course of cephalexin provided by her personal physician ; she received two additional courses of -lactam antibiotics and was documented to be culture negative for gas 4 weeks after she completed the second antibiotic course .
pfge performed on the three gas strains from case - patients and the seven strains from colonized residents and staff showed that four colonized persons had isolates identical to those from the deceased case - patients ; all were serotype m1 t1 and were serum opacity factor negative ( figure 4 ) .
the proportion of residents colonized or infected with the outbreak strain was significantly higher than the proportion of staff colonized ( 4.7% vs. 0.7% , p=0.03 by chi - square test ) .
pulsed - field gel electrophoresis , demonstrating relatedness of group a streptococcal isolates from facility staff and residents .
solid arrows denote identical strains from two of the three persons in whom fatal invasive group a streptococcal infection developed ; the third person with invasive disease had an electrophoretically identical strain ( not shown ) .
our description of outbreaks of multiple cases of invasive disease attributable to a single , identified strain of gas in long - term care institutions is consistent with prior reports ( 510 ) .
outbreak 1 was caused by an m77 strain , an uncommon cause of invasive streptococcal disease in canada ( 21 ) .
the second outbreak was caused by an m1-type strain , the most common isolate type in canada , which may be more virulent than other serotypes ( 21,22 ) .
epidemiologic investigation of these two outbreaks showed a higher prevalence of colonization with the outbreak strains among residents than among staff , although this difference was not statistically significant in outbreak 1 . given the limited mobility of the residents of both facilities , such a difference would be consistent with disease transmission involving asymptomatically colonized healthcare workers .
transmission may also have occurred as a result of transient carriage of the organism by healthcare workers , as may occur with nosocomial transmission of clostridium difficile and vancomycin - resistant enterococcus ( 23,24 ) , or as a result of contaminated fomites , such the washcloth described in outbreak 1 .
other possible mechanisms of transmission include direct resident - to - resident transmission in the context of such social events as the holiday party described in outbreak 2 and foodborne transmission ( 25 ) .
any of these mechanisms of spread could limit the expected effectiveness of screening and targeted antibiotic treatment , as culturing of only residents and staff with a clear epidemiologic link to cases would not be expected to identify all colonized persons .
this situation was well demonstrated in outbreak 1 , which involved probable worker transmission of a strain from an immobile , chronically colonized person ( resident a ) to other residents in this institution .
although likely important in the perpetuation of the outbreak , resident a was identified incidentally when cultures were performed on all facility residents 8 months after the initial case of invasive disease was reported .
the importance of silent carriage of gas in the perpetuation of outbreaks has been well - described in both healthcare ( 26,27 ) and community ( 28 ) contexts .
our use of mass antibiotic treatment as an epidemic control measure appears to have been successful , inasmuch as no further cases of invasive gas disease have been reported from either facility at the time of writing ( february 2003 ) .
however , the documented persistence of the bacterial strain implicated in outbreak 1 after the death of resident a suggests that breaches in infection control practices ( as identified during site visits ) , combined with the presence of a persistently colonized resident or staff person , may limit the effectiveness of this control measure .
such a control measure would also not prevent the repeated reimportation of a circulating community strain of gas into a facility by healthcare workers or visiting family members ( 29,30 ) .
the impact of wide - scale antibiotic use on pathogenic microorganisms in long - term care institutions also remains an issue of concern .
resistance to macrolides among gas isolates appears to be increasing in frequency ( 31,32 ) , and the overuse of -lactam antibiotics and macrolides may adversely affect the antibiotic susceptibility patterns of such common pathogens as streptococcus pneumoniae ( 3336 ) .
these two outbreaks of invasive gas in the long - term care setting highlight the limitations of targeted culturing and antibiotic treatment as an outbreak control strategy .
however , our experience also highlights the limitations of mass treatment as a control strategy , particularly when poor infection control practices persist and chronically colonized residents are present .
further research into the epidemiology and transmission of gas in the long - term care setting will help refine the optimal approach to managing these challenging outbreaks . | pubmed |
Why is the equilibrium constant defined that way intuitively?
Suppose we have chemical equation: $$\ce{ aA + bB <=> cC + dD }$$
then equilibrium constant is defined: $$K=\frac{[C]^c[D]^d}{[A]^a[B]^b}$$
but why don't we define it as: $$K=\frac{cd[C][D]}{ab[A][B]}$$
or even as: $$K=\frac{c[C]+d[D]}{a[A]+b[B]}$$
As adding concentrations is additive and not multiplicative. And because: $$\ce{ aA + bB <=> cC + dD }$$
is the same as: $$\ce{ cC + dD <=> aA + bB }$$
then we should have: $$K=\frac{[A]^a[B]^b}{[C]^c[D]^d}$$
and specifically: $$\frac{[A]^a[B]^b}{[C]^c[D]^d}=\frac{[C]^c[D]^d}{[A]^a[B]^b}$$
but trying some examples shows that this isn't the case.
It can be understood in simple terms with just few intuitive keys (of course it is not very rigorous).
1. Take in mind that $K$ is a measure of how displaced to reactive or equilibrium the reaction is. So it should be greater when products concentration is relatively high (that is why they go into the numerator) and small when reactive concentrations are relatively high.
2. In *elemental* reactions (technical term) is like a balance between the speed of the reaction in the direction of products and the reverse reaction.
3. A reaction only occurs when its reactives are in the same region of the space. So, if you have an *elmental* reaction of the form $a A + b B \rightarrow $, for the reaction takes place it is needed that $a$ molecules of $A$ and $b$ molecules of $B$ collide. This is the main point: How probably is this event? Well, if you only need one molecule of $A$ ($a=1$), the probability that an $A$ molecule be in this specific place (at some time) is proportional to the $A$ concentration. If $(a=2)$ we need another $A$ molecule, as the probability for a second molecule being in that space region (at some time, in particular at the same time) is independent, the probability of finding two $A$ molecules in the same space region (at the same time) is the product of the two individual probabilities (is like throwing a dice two times). In general, for the mixture the probability of the encounter is proportional to $[A]^a [B]^n$.
4. The reaction speed in that direction is proportional to the number of encounters.
That is why you need to make products. Of course equilibrium constant $could$ be defined in other ways, for example, suppose that we define them as $K\_{new}=ln(K\_{old})$. In such case for the logarithm properties you'll have other expressions that includes sums. But there is not advantages of defining $K$ in that way.
At equilibrium, the forward rate of reaction is equal to the backward rate of reaction. Let us consider the equation:
$$\ce{aA +bB<=>cC +dD}$$
The forward rate of reaction is given by
$$\text{rate}\_\mathrm{f}=K\_\mathrm{f} \cdot [\ce{A}]^a [\ce{B}]^b$$
The reverse rate of reaction is given by:
$$\text{rate}\_\mathrm{r}=K\_\mathrm{r} \cdot [\ce{C}]^c [\ce{D}]^d$$
When the two are equal:
$$K\_\mathrm{f} \cdot [\ce{A}]^a [\ce{B}]^b=K\_\mathrm{r} \cdot [\ce{C}]^c [\ce{D}]^d$$
$$\frac{K\_\mathrm{f}}{K\_\mathrm{r}}=K\_\mathrm{eq}=\frac{[\ce{C}]^c [\ce{D}]^d}{[\ce{A}]^a [\ce{B}]^b}$$
The equilibrium constant of the reverse reaction:
$$\ce{cC +dD<=>aA +bB}$$
Is given as the inverse of the equilibrium constant of forward reaction. They are (usually) not equivalent:
$$\frac{1}{K\_\mathrm{eq}}=\frac{K\_\mathrm{r}}{K\_\mathrm{f}}=\frac{[\ce{A}]^a [\ce{B}]^b}{[\ce{C}]^c [\ce{D}]^d}$$
A background in differential calculus is necessary for the answer to be intuitive. The equilibrium constant, K, is related to the asymptotic behavior of the kinetics model used to describe the system.
For a chemical equilibrium system using linear differential equations the equilibrium constant, K, is often noted with a C subscript as follows:
$$K\_C=\frac{[C]^c[D]^d}{[A]^a[B]^b}$$
The following model is one of the simpler examples. (In this example r is defined as reaction rate.)
*Chemical Equation*
$$\ce{ A <=> C }$$
In the equation for $K\_C$ given above the power terms (a,b,c,d) are for higher order reactions. In this example c=1, d=0, a=1, b=0. D and B are irrelevant.
Assume the amount of A lost equals the amount of B gained.
$$ -\frac{\mathrm d[A]}{\mathrm dt} = \frac{\mathrm d[C]}{\mathrm dt} = r $$
The equilibrium constant is calculated at reaction rate equals zero.
$$ r = 0 $$
Assume the loss of reactant concentration is proportional to the concentration of reactant in the system.
$$ -\frac{\mathrm d[A]}{\mathrm dt} = k[A] $$
**Boundary Conditions that fit this system:
Assume the reaction is reversible and does not to complete. At time equals infinity $(t=\infty)$ some but not all of the initial $[A]\_0$ is consumed.**
$$[A]\_0=[A]\_\infty + [C]\_\infty$$
$$[C]\_0=0$$
**Understanding this boundary condition is the key to understanding why the equilibrium constant works only in certian situations.**
Solving this system of ordinary differential equations. (This step is tough to understand without a background in differential calculus.)
$$[A] = ([A]\_\infty + [C]\_\infty) - [C]\_\infty( 1 - e^{-kt}) $$
$$[C] = [C]\_\infty ( 1 - e^{-kt}) $$
As $t \to \infty$, $e^{-kt} \to 0$, $[A] \to [A]\_\infty$ and $[C] \to [C]\_\infty$. Because $[A]\_\infty$ and $[C]\_\infty$ are constants in the model, their ratio is constant.
$$K\_C = \frac{[C]\_\infty}{[A]\_\infty}$$
Because of the boundary conditions, if the initial concentration of reactant is increased by some factor y the ratio of $K\_C$ remains the same.
$$y[A]\_0=[A]\_\infty + [C]\_\infty$$
$$[A]\_0=(1/y)[A]\_\infty + (1/y)[C]\_\infty$$
$$K\_C = \frac{y[C]\_\infty}{y[A]\_\infty}$$
$$K\_C = \frac{[C]\_\infty}{[A]\_\infty}$$
If there is an initial concentration of the product in the system then the assumption comes into play that the reaction is reversible. This means the reaction can be initially reversed to a point no products exists before it proceeds forward.
$$[A]\_t+[C]\_t = y[A]\_0 $$
If one assumption in the system does not match reality, for example if a reaction is irreversible, the equilibrium constant does not work. For a system with reaction rates defined by linear differential equations, for example reversible reactions in solutions, the equilibrium constant works.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
scaphoid fractures are commonly seen in young , healthy individuals and may occur as a result of a fall on the outstretched arm or a forced dorsiflexion injury of the wrist.1,2 because fractures may disturb the scaphoid s tenuous blood supply , the healing process may be compromised .
osteonecrosis is said to occur in 13%50% of cases of fracture of the scaphoid , and the incidence of osteonecrosis is even higher in those with involvement of the proximal one - fifth of the scaphoid.1,35 the blood supply of the scaphoid is primarily from the radial artery via the artery to the dorsal ridge of the scaphoid , whose branches enter the scaphoid via foramina at the dorsal ridge at the level of the waist of the scaphoid.4,6 subsequently , these vessels divide and run proximally and palmarly to supply the proximal pole of the scaphoid.4 other branches provide 20%30% of the blood flow and appear from the distal palmar area of the scaphoid , arising either directly from the radial artery or from the superficial palmar branch.6,7 the proximal pole , therefore , is dependent entirely on intraosseous blood flow .
this tenuous blood supply can result in a protracted healing process after fracture , with the average time to healing of an acute proximal pole fracture averaging 36 months .
nonunion may occur ( in 5%10% of all cases , with an even higher incidence in displaced fractures ) , and numerous series document progression of nonunion to collapse and arthritis.5,8,9 it is for this reason that diagnosis and appropriate treatment of the acute fracture , and the possible sequelae of nonunion , is essential .
three common classifications used for scaphoid fracture include the mayo classification , the russe classification , and the herbert classification . some series have demonstrated limited prognostic value and poor inter- and intraobserver reliability of scaphoid fracture classification schemes10 ; nevertheless , the mayo , russe , and herbert classifications are in common use in clinical practice , and many authorities believe they are helpful for determining treatment options and providing prognostic information .
the first two classifications are based on anatomical planes of the scaphoid , whereas the herbert classification defines stable and unstable fractures.1,2,11 thus , the herbert classification may be particularly helpful when determining treatment options .
the type a herbert classification fracture is a stable acute fracture , and a type b is an unstable acute fracture .
stable fractures include fractures of the tubercle ( a1 ) and an incomplete fracture of the waist ( a2 ) .
type b ( acute unstable fractures ) include subtypes b1 ( oblique fractures of the distal third ) ; b2 ( displaced or mobile fractures of the waist ) ; type b3 ( proximal pole fractures ) ; type b4 ( fracture dislocations ) ; and b5 ( comminuted fractures ) .
type c fractures are those that demonstrate delayed union after > 6 weeks of plaster immobilization , and type d fractures are established nonunions , either fibrous ( d1 ) or sclerotic ( d2).1
the diagnosis of a scaphoid fracture can sometimes be difficult to establish , as patients may have normal radiographs early in their clinical course .
most patients demonstrate tenderness over the anatomic snuff box or over the distal scaphoid tubercle , pain with longitudinal compression of the thumb , and limited range of motion and pain at the end arc of motion , especially with flexion and radial deviation.1113 reduced grip strength may be noted.1113 however , it is important to note that not all patients have pain over the scaphoid even with a well - defined fracture seen on radiographs.11 overall , sensitivity is quite high for the clinical examination , although specificity approaches only 74%80%.12,13 radiographic evaluation of the scaphoid is useful for determining if an acute fracture is present .
a lateral radiograph is important in this regard , as it should demonstrate a co - linear capitate and radius , with the pisiform located between the distal pole of the scaphoid and the body of the capitate .
classically , patients with clinical findings suspicious for scaphoid fracture but negative initial radiographs were treated with 2 weeks of cast immobilization followed by repeat examination and radiographic studies , with the idea that the time delay allows bony resporption adjacent to the fracture site to occur , making the fracture visible.11,14 although this remains an accepted treatment option , it may result in unnecessary immobilization , with adverse effects upon return to work and the need for repeat radiographs , clinical examinations , and splint or cast changes.1517 alternative imaging techniques may be useful for diagnosing a fracture , and magnetic resonance imaging ( mri ) is superior to repeat radiographs for detecting an occult scaphoid fracture.18 bone scans are sensitive but not specific for diagnosing a scaphoid fracture.19 bone scintigraphy has demonstrated 100% sensitivity and 98% specificity for a scaphoid fracture compared with approximately 65%70% sensitivity for plain radiography.7,2024 mri is considered by many to be the gold standard for detecting scaphoid fractures , with sensitivity approaching 95%100% and specificity approaching 100%.2527 in addition , one may identify alternative pathology to explain the wrist pain .
it is important to recognize that nonunion occurs in up to 12% of patients if an occult fracture is not defined and not immobilized .
however , treatment ( splinting and casting ) can lead to loss of work and economic implications .
16,17,19 the cost of time off from work , serial casting , and office visits easily outstrip the cost of an mri or computed tomography ( ct ) scan for definitive diagnosis.16 brooks et al.15 investigated the cost - effectiveness of mri for diagnosing suspected scaphoid fractures in a randomized controlled trial involving 28 patients .
those who underwent mri had a shorter duration of immobilization , decreased use of health care resources , but increased cost to treat when compared to patients who were randomized to the non - mri group , in which patients were immobilized and evaluated by serial clinical and radiographic examination .
however , these costs do not take into account absenteeism from work and leisure activities.15 pillai and jain17 reported a needless immobilization rate of > 80% when all clinically suspected scaphoid fractures with negative radiographs were immobilized in the traditional treatment algorithm .
they found that only 6.7% of the 90 initially radiographically negative wrists actually had a scaphoid fracture , and 10 additional patients had other injuries of the wrist not involving the scaphoid.17 the findings suggest that the cost of needless immobilization , with further clinical and radiographic studies , would have exceeded early alternative investigations , such as mri or bone scan , which frequently were ultimately required anyway.17 thorpe et al.28 reported on a series of 59 patients with clinical symptoms suggestive of scaphoid fracture but in whom radiographs were negative .
clinically , 4 scaphoid fractures , 10 other fractures , and 3 significant ligamentous injuries were identified .
all scaphoid fractures were identified by both mri and bone scan ; however , mri was noted to have better interobserver agreement and fewer false positives .
likewise , other sources of pathology could be diagnosed on mri , such as a ligamentous injury or carpal instability , whereas these findings were not diagnosable by bone scan .
the authors further noted that the costs were similar.28 in a study comparing the sensitivity and specificity of mri and bone scintography for diagnosis of occult scaphoid fractures , 43 patients with wrist trauma and normal radiographs underwent mri and bone scans an average of 19 days after injury .
of these 43 patients , 6 ( 14% ) ultimately were diagnosed with a scaphoid waist fracture .
mri was noted to be more sensitive for detecting an occult scaphoid fracture , with fewer false positives than the bone scans.29 dorsay et al.16 investigated the cost - effectiveness of early mri to detect occult scaphoid fractures .
they noted that 75% of patients with clinical evidence of a scaphoid fracture would be immobilized unnecessarily if they were treated by the standard follow - up with repeat radiographs following immobilization .
the cost differential between standard follow - up and mri was small.16 the questions that often arise are when should you prescribe mri and how early can you detect a fracture in the scaphoid ?
it is possible with modern mri technology to detect a fracture within 46 h ; however , owing to most hospitals scheduling situations , obtaining an mri examination at 3648 h is a common goal .
again , mri may demonstrate an occasional false - positive but rarely results in a false - negative examination .
ct scanning is also a useful technology for diagnosing scaphoid fractures and can help determine nonunion or incomplete union , and it is helpful when planning for surgery to determine the intrascaphoid angle and elements of scaphoid collapse .
it is not as accurate , however , as mri for diagnosing an acute , occult fracture .
it is helpful to remember that most patients with a suspected scaphoid fracture have not actually injured the scaphoid and that casting for no fracture just to present a conservative treatment modality results in overtreatment at the expense of office visits , radiographs , and lost work .
a technetium bone scan is sensitive but false - positive findings can occur in patients with arthrosis or prior or concurrent injury .
mri tends to produce fewer false - positives , can pinpoint the location of the fracture more precisely , and can identify alternative diagnoses .
bone scans rarely miss a scaphoid fracture but require a delay in performing the test ; they often do not adequately elucidate alternative diagnoses .
mri is at least as sensitive and more specific , involves less radiation exposure , and may allow one to diagnose alternative problems.15 a suggested algorithm , therefore , in a patient with wrist trauma is to obtain three radiographic views of the wrist , anteroposterior ( ap ) , lateral , and oblique .
if a scaphoid fracture is identified on the radiographs , a ct scan can be then obtained for surgical planning .
if the radiographs are negative or equivocal , a limited mri examination of the wrist is then obtained to determine the presence or absence of a scaphoid fracture .
if needed , a ct scan can also be obtained after mri to help plan for surgical treatment .
the reason to consider operative treatment is that immobilizing the patient for 12 weeks is typical for scaphoid fractures , and in more proximally located fractures it may be much longer.3,11,30,31 although few studies in the literature have documented the consequences of long - term cast immobilization , clearly it can result in significant stiffness that may require a significant rehabilitation period ; moreover , some studies have suggested a poorer outcome following prolonged immobilization .
30,22,32 in addition , union rates are higher with operative management , approaching 95% or more in most series of all types of scaphoid fracture.30,3335 multiple series have documented satisfactory outcomes and minimal complications with surgical management using percutaneous fixation of scaphoid fractures.1,30,3543 several studies have looked at surgery versus casting for acute fractures .
those who underwent surgical management with percutaneous screw placement demonstrated better range of motion at the wrist , earlier time to union ( 7 weeks vs. 12 weeks with casting ) , earlier return to work , and minimal differences in the two groups with respect to outcomes and satisfaction at the final follow - up .
importantly , no increased complication rate related to surgical treatment was observed.30,44,45 it appears , therefore , that percutaneous treatment of acute scaphoid fracture has a low morbidity rate and in the hands of an experienced surgeon does not result in a higher complication rate than nonsurgical treatment.1 in a meta - analysis of scaphoid nonunion that reviewed 1121 articles , 36 of which met criteria for inclusion in this review , data were obtained for 1827 scaphoid nonunions.46 when patients with avascular necrosis of the proximal pole were evaluated , union rates were 88% with vascularized bone grafting versus 47% with a standard graft.46 in addition , those who had no postoperative immobilization were demonstrated to have the same union rate as those who were immobilized for > 6 weeks postoperatively.46 this study therefore lends support for immediate screw fixation and mobilization of the wrist versus prolonged cast treatment .
up to one - third of these fractures may result in nonunion even with appropriate immobilization .
several studies demonstrated good results with early surgical intervention , and it appears that a careful dorsal approach does not injure the blood supply . when considering overall treatment options , it is perhaps best for all proximal pole and displaced scaphoid fractures to be treated with surgery .
acute fractures may demonstrate normal or decreased t1-weighted mri intensity and increased t2 intensity.11 nonunion and impaired vascularity is often seen with low t1 and t2 marrow signal intensity , which may correlate with poor healing.11,47,48 some series , however , have failed to find a correlation with preserved vascularity of the proximal pole and successful outcome of surgery.49 despite optimal therapy , nonunion or malunion may ensue .
treatment of the established scaphoid nonunion requires consideration of patient and nonunion characteristics . because the bony attachments of the dorsal intercarpal ligament and the dorsal scapholunate ligament are maintained when setting a fracture of the proximal one - third of the scaphoid ,
these fractures rarely demonstrate instability patterns such as dorsal intercalated segmental instability ( disi ) .
nonunion of a scaphoid fracture , however , can result in carpal malalignment and progressive radiocarpal arthrosis .
5,8,9,11 the real effect of malunion , however , is less clearly defined . in a series of 160 scaphoid nonunions treated with internal fixation and bone grafting , of which 90% healed , failure to achieve union
was related to a proximal fracture location , avascularity of the proximal pole , instability of the fracture , and delay to surgery .
importantly , residual flexion deformity of the scaphoid did not have an effect on the outcome .
therefore , malunion was not thought to be a contributing factor to a poor result .
this study , however , demonstrated that the length of immobilization negatively affects the functional outcome.50 in a smaller study of 26 patients with nonunions who underwent bone grafting for scaphoid nonunions , 13 patients ultimately had lateral intrascaphoid angles greater than 45. however , excellent function and high patient satisfaction was noted at 11 years follow - up , with clinical outcomes indistinguishable between the groups who had normal alignment and those with malunion .
it was thought , therefore , that osteotomy and surgical treatment of a malunion is not indicated for most of the patients with healed scaphoid fractures.51 the nondisplaced stable nonunion without degenerative changes ( mack - lichtman type i)8,52,53 may be treated with bone grafting with or without hardware .
nonvascularized autogenous bone graft from the distal radius or iliac crest may be sufficient , although vascularized bone grafting should be considered in the presence of an avascular proximal pole as determined by mri or intraoperative findings .
in addition , there is the caveat that if the initial bone grafting fails future surgery is less likely to be successful.3,5456 the fracture site should be freed from fibrous nonunion or interposed tissue , and hardware may or may not be placed .
kirshner wires may be used , but screw fixation may provide the advantage of compression of fracture fragments .
type ii nonunions , which are unstable owing to fragment displacement , require one to address the nonunion and restore normal carpal stability to prevent the downward spiral from instability to collapse and arthritis.8,52,53 a corticocancellous wedge bone graft may be harvested from the iliac crest to correct alignment . because of the instability , these fractures require fixation .
scaphoid nonunion with accompanying mild arthritis are classified as mack - lichtman type iii.8,52,53 initial findings of radiocarpal arthritis include beaked changes to the radial styloid and narrowing of the joint space between the radius and scaphoid .
if the scaphoid can be salvaged , open reduction and internal fixation with bone graft are required .
a radial styloidectomy may be performed if isolated radial styloid arthritis is present;57 alternatively , excision of the distal scaphoid fragment may be performed if the scapholunate ligament is intact.53,58,59 however , significant arthritis of the scaphoid fossa and radial styloid is a contraindication to scaphoid salvage , and proximal row carpectomy and four - corner fusion are options.6066 mack - lichtman types iv and v nonunions are those associated with midcarpal arthritis , without and with radiolunate arthritis , respectively.8,52,53 they require partial or complete wrist arthrodesis for optimal treatment.53,67 in short , if degenerative arthritis is absent , and the carpus can be salvaged , one may consider bone grafting , either standard or vascularized , with or without internal fixation . however , if substantial degenerative arthritis is present , limited or complete wrist arthrodesis may yield a stable , painless result . alternatively , proximal row carpectomy or anterior interosseous nerve ( ain ) and posterior interosseous nerve ( pin ) denervation neurectomy may be considered .
prior to surgery a trial of cast immobilization to simulate the fused wrist , or an ain or pin block may be helpful to clarify the possible effect of the desired procedure on the patient s symptoms .
when the scaphoid is salvageable and bone grafting is attempted , one must consider the relative risks and benefits of nonvascularized or vascularized bone grafting .
nonvascularized bone grafting is probably sufficient for most waist fracture nonunions and those with preserved vascularity of the proximal pole . as noted previously , however , should standard bone grafting fail , future surgery is likely also to be unsuccessful.3,5456 the benefits of vascularized bone grafting for scaphoid nonunion include preservation of the blood supply , primary bone healing , and maintenance of structural integrity . therefore , consideration of vascularized bone grafting is wise , particularly in the setting of osteonecrosis and proximal pole nonunions .
recently the mayo clinic documented the outcomes and complications of vascularized bone grafting for scaphoid nonunion in a series of 52 nonunions in 51 patients.68 two patients ( two scaphoids ) were lost to follow - up , with 50 patients and 49 scaphoids available for review . in this study , the 1,2-intercompartmental supraretinacular artery ( 1,2-icrsa ) was used as a reverse - flow vascularized bone graft for scaphoid nonunion.56,69,70 previously published union rates for vascularized bone grafts in the scaphoid have ranged from 27% to 100% , although there are presently fewer than 10 such published studies in the literature with approximately 100 total patients . in the mayo clinic study ,
there were 42 male patients and 9 female patients , with an average age of 23 years and a mean follow - up of 7.6 months .
the nonunions were evenly divided between the proximal pole and the waist ; and evidence of avascular necrosis was present in 24 scaphoids based on intraoperative surgical findings , mri , and radiographs .
overall , 72% of the scaphoid fractures achieved union with vascularized bone grafting ( 36/50 ) , and healing occurred at an average of 16 weeks ( range 840 weeks ) .
factors adversely affecting the union rate included female sex ( union rate : 30% vs. 82% in males ) ; tobacco use ( union rate : 81% in nonsmokers vs. 46% in smokers ) , and proximal pole avascularity [ 48% union rate in the presence of avascular necrosis ( avn ) vs. 91% in the absence of avn ] .
simple k - wire fixation resulted in a 53% union rate , whereas screw fixation resulted in an 88% union rate .
carpal collapse with formation of a humpbacked deformity was present in 50% of the failures versus 11% of patients who went on to union .
interestingly , in this series of patients , the fracture - dislocation did not affect the union rate , with waist fractures achieving 70% union and proximal poles achieving 72% union .
prior surgery resulted in a healing rate of 64% compared to 73% in those with no previous operations .
complications in this series resulted in three infections , three patients with graft extrusion , two patients with graft resorption , and four patients with progressive degenerative changes that required further operative therapy .
five patients underwent subsequent surgeries including ain and pin neurectomy ( n = 2 ) , repeat autologous bone grafting ( n = 1 ) , scaphoid excision with four - corner fusion ( n = 1 ) , and total wrist fusion ( n = 1).68 notably , the union rate was 100% in cases of nonunion in which avn was absent and which underwent the vascularized bone grafting procedure with screw fixation.68 two studies in the literature showed relatively low healing rates of 60%54 and 27%,71 respectively . in the study by boyer
et al.,54 10 proximal pole nonunions underwent vascularized bone grafting with a 60% union rate .
the four failures occurred in patients who had previously undergone treatment with a bone grafting procedure , suggesting that prior surgery adversely affects the outcome of the 1,2-icrsa bone graft.54 in a second report by straw et al.,71 22 nonunions underwent the 1,2-icrsa bone graft with only a 27% union rate ( n = 6 ) .
altogether , 16 of these patients had avn of the proximal pole , and the k - wires that were used for fixation were removed at 8 weeks regardless of union status
. of those 16 patients with osteonecrosis of the proximal pole , only 2 had union , a 12.5% union rate , compared to 4 of 6 ( 67% ) in the patients with a preserved vascular supply to the proximal pole.71 it could be concluded that a 1,2-icsra vascularized bone graft may not improve union rates in patients with significant avn of the proximal pole fragment.71 patients who overall are poor candidates for vascularized bone grafting are those with carpal collapse and scaphoids with a large defect or excessive comminution of the proximal fragment .
likewise , patients with radiocarpal arthritis may have a more disappointing outcome.56 these series and the recent study from the mayo clinic present less optimistic results than a prior study by steinmann et al . in which a 100% union rate was achieved in 14 patients at a mean 11.1 weeks.56 the reasons for this increased failure rate are not entirely clear .
however , it probably relates to broader acceptance of the procedure with resultant expanded indications for use of this vascularized bone grafting technique .
additionally , there is enthusiasm and willingness to try everything , including a vascularized bone graft prior to performing a salvage type procedure
. the limitations of this larger , more recent study relate to its retrospective nature and the multiple surgeons involved .
factors overall that are thought to be associated with failure of 1,2-icsra in scaphoid nonunion include female sex , tobacco smoking , proximal pole avn , humpback deformity , comminuted proximal pole and use of a k - wire or no metallic internal fixation .
when considering overall treatment options , it is perhaps best for all proximal pole and displaced scaphoid fractures to be treated with surgery .
acute fractures may demonstrate normal or decreased t1-weighted mri intensity and increased t2 intensity.11 nonunion and impaired vascularity is often seen with low t1 and t2 marrow signal intensity , which may correlate with poor healing.11,47,48 some series , however , have failed to find a correlation with preserved vascularity of the proximal pole and successful outcome of surgery.49
treatment of the established scaphoid nonunion requires consideration of patient and nonunion characteristics . because the bony attachments of the dorsal intercarpal ligament and the dorsal scapholunate ligament are maintained when setting a fracture of the proximal one - third of the scaphoid
, these fractures rarely demonstrate instability patterns such as dorsal intercalated segmental instability ( disi ) .
nonunion of a scaphoid fracture , however , can result in carpal malalignment and progressive radiocarpal arthrosis .
5,8,9,11 the real effect of malunion , however , is less clearly defined . in a series of 160 scaphoid nonunions treated with internal fixation and bone grafting ,
of which 90% healed , failure to achieve union was related to a proximal fracture location , avascularity of the proximal pole , instability of the fracture , and delay to surgery .
importantly , residual flexion deformity of the scaphoid did not have an effect on the outcome .
therefore , malunion was not thought to be a contributing factor to a poor result .
this study , however , demonstrated that the length of immobilization negatively affects the functional outcome.50 in a smaller study of 26 patients with nonunions who underwent bone grafting for scaphoid nonunions , 13 patients ultimately had lateral intrascaphoid angles greater than 45. however , excellent function and high patient satisfaction was noted at 11 years follow - up , with clinical outcomes indistinguishable between the groups who had normal alignment and those with malunion .
it was thought , therefore , that osteotomy and surgical treatment of a malunion is not indicated for most of the patients with healed scaphoid fractures.51 the nondisplaced stable nonunion without degenerative changes ( mack - lichtman type i)8,52,53 may be treated with bone grafting with or without hardware .
nonvascularized autogenous bone graft from the distal radius or iliac crest may be sufficient , although vascularized bone grafting should be considered in the presence of an avascular proximal pole as determined by mri or intraoperative findings .
in addition , there is the caveat that if the initial bone grafting fails future surgery is less likely to be successful.3,5456 the fracture site should be freed from fibrous nonunion or interposed tissue , and hardware may or may not be placed .
kirshner wires may be used , but screw fixation may provide the advantage of compression of fracture fragments .
type ii nonunions , which are unstable owing to fragment displacement , require one to address the nonunion and restore normal carpal stability to prevent the downward spiral from instability to collapse and arthritis.8,52,53 a corticocancellous wedge bone graft may be harvested from the iliac crest to correct alignment . because of the instability , these fractures require fixation .
scaphoid nonunion with accompanying mild arthritis are classified as mack - lichtman type iii.8,52,53 initial findings of radiocarpal arthritis include beaked changes to the radial styloid and narrowing of the joint space between the radius and scaphoid .
if the scaphoid can be salvaged , open reduction and internal fixation with bone graft are required .
a radial styloidectomy may be performed if isolated radial styloid arthritis is present;57 alternatively , excision of the distal scaphoid fragment may be performed if the scapholunate ligament is intact.53,58,59 however , significant arthritis of the scaphoid fossa and radial styloid is a contraindication to scaphoid salvage , and proximal row carpectomy and four - corner fusion are options.6066 mack - lichtman types iv and v nonunions are those associated with midcarpal arthritis , without and with radiolunate arthritis , respectively.8,52,53 they require partial or complete wrist arthrodesis for optimal treatment.53,67 in short , if degenerative arthritis is absent , and the carpus can be salvaged , one may consider bone grafting , either standard or vascularized , with or without internal fixation .
however , if substantial degenerative arthritis is present , limited or complete wrist arthrodesis may yield a stable , painless result .
alternatively , proximal row carpectomy or anterior interosseous nerve ( ain ) and posterior interosseous nerve ( pin ) denervation neurectomy may be considered .
prior to surgery a trial of cast immobilization to simulate the fused wrist , or an ain or pin block may be helpful to clarify the possible effect of the desired procedure on the patient s symptoms .
when the scaphoid is salvageable and bone grafting is attempted , one must consider the relative risks and benefits of nonvascularized or vascularized bone grafting . nonvascularized
bone grafting is probably sufficient for most waist fracture nonunions and those with preserved vascularity of the proximal pole . as noted previously , however , should standard bone grafting fail , future surgery is likely also to be unsuccessful.3,5456 the benefits of vascularized bone grafting for scaphoid nonunion include preservation of the blood supply , primary bone healing , and maintenance of structural integrity . therefore , consideration of vascularized bone grafting is wise , particularly in the setting of osteonecrosis and proximal pole nonunions .
recently the mayo clinic documented the outcomes and complications of vascularized bone grafting for scaphoid nonunion in a series of 52 nonunions in 51 patients.68 two patients ( two scaphoids ) were lost to follow - up , with 50 patients and 49 scaphoids available for review . in this study , the 1,2-intercompartmental supraretinacular artery ( 1,2-icrsa ) was used as a reverse - flow vascularized bone graft for scaphoid nonunion.56,69,70 previously published union rates for vascularized bone grafts in the scaphoid have ranged from 27% to 100% , although there are presently fewer than 10 such published studies in the literature with approximately 100 total patients . in the mayo clinic study , there were 42 male patients and 9 female patients , with an average age of 23 years and a mean follow - up of 7.6 months .
the nonunions were evenly divided between the proximal pole and the waist ; and evidence of avascular necrosis was present in 24 scaphoids based on intraoperative surgical findings , mri , and radiographs .
overall , 72% of the scaphoid fractures achieved union with vascularized bone grafting ( 36/50 ) , and healing occurred at an average of 16 weeks ( range 840 weeks ) .
factors adversely affecting the union rate included female sex ( union rate : 30% vs. 82% in males ) ; tobacco use ( union rate : 81% in nonsmokers vs. 46% in smokers ) , and proximal pole avascularity [ 48% union rate in the presence of avascular necrosis ( avn ) vs. 91% in the absence of avn ] . the type of internal fixation also influenced the union rate .
simple k - wire fixation resulted in a 53% union rate , whereas screw fixation resulted in an 88% union rate .
carpal collapse with formation of a humpbacked deformity was present in 50% of the failures versus 11% of patients who went on to union .
interestingly , in this series of patients , the fracture - dislocation did not affect the union rate , with waist fractures achieving 70% union and proximal poles achieving 72% union .
prior surgery resulted in a healing rate of 64% compared to 73% in those with no previous operations .
complications in this series resulted in three infections , three patients with graft extrusion , two patients with graft resorption , and four patients with progressive degenerative changes that required further operative therapy .
five patients underwent subsequent surgeries including ain and pin neurectomy ( n = 2 ) , repeat autologous bone grafting ( n = 1 ) , scaphoid excision with four - corner fusion ( n = 1 ) , and total wrist fusion ( n = 1).68 notably , the union rate was 100% in cases of nonunion in which avn was absent and which underwent the vascularized bone grafting procedure with screw fixation.68 two studies in the literature showed relatively low healing rates of 60%54 and 27%,71 respectively . in the study by boyer
et al.,54 10 proximal pole nonunions underwent vascularized bone grafting with a 60% union rate .
the four failures occurred in patients who had previously undergone treatment with a bone grafting procedure , suggesting that prior surgery adversely affects the outcome of the 1,2-icrsa bone graft.54 in a second report by straw et al.,71 22 nonunions underwent the 1,2-icrsa bone graft with only a 27% union rate ( n = 6 ) .
altogether , 16 of these patients had avn of the proximal pole , and the k - wires that were used for fixation were removed at 8 weeks regardless of union status . of those 16 patients with osteonecrosis of the proximal pole , only 2 had union , a 12.5% union rate , compared to 4 of 6 ( 67% ) in the patients with a preserved vascular supply to the proximal pole.71 it could be concluded that a 1,2-icsra vascularized bone graft may not improve union rates in patients with significant avn of the proximal pole fragment.71 patients who overall are poor candidates for vascularized bone grafting are those with carpal collapse and scaphoids with a large defect or excessive comminution of the proximal fragment .
likewise , patients with radiocarpal arthritis may have a more disappointing outcome.56 these series and the recent study from the mayo clinic present less optimistic results than a prior study by steinmann et al . in which a 100% union rate was achieved in 14 patients at a mean 11.1 weeks.56 the reasons for this increased failure rate are not entirely clear .
however , it probably relates to broader acceptance of the procedure with resultant expanded indications for use of this vascularized bone grafting technique .
additionally , there is enthusiasm and willingness to try everything , including a vascularized bone graft prior to performing a salvage type procedure
. the limitations of this larger , more recent study relate to its retrospective nature and the multiple surgeons involved .
factors overall that are thought to be associated with failure of 1,2-icsra in scaphoid nonunion include female sex , tobacco smoking , proximal pole avn , humpback deformity , comminuted proximal pole and use of a k - wire or no metallic internal fixation .
in the authors opinion , operative fixation of scaphoid fractures is the treatment of choice in cases of acute fracture in which the fracture is clearly visible on plain film radiographs , as we believe this implies that the fracture is displaced .
several authors have demonstrated low morbidity and satisfactory outcomes following operative fixation.1,30,3543 the surgical time is minimal , morbidity is minimal , and complications are infrequent .
when a patient with clinical symptoms suggestive of scaphoid fracture is evaluated , initial radiographs are obtained at the time of presentation . if a scaphoid fracture is readily identified on plain films , it represents displacement , and acute operative treatment is recommended , with our preference being percutaneous placement of a cannulated screw .
if no fracture is seen , and clinical findings suggest a scaphoid fracture , a mri scan should be performed .
if mri reveals a fracture , nonoperative treatment may be undertaken with a short arm thumb spica cast with the wrist in neutral position , immobilizing the thumb to the interphalangeal joint , unless the fracture is at the proximal pole .
this is maintained for 6 weeks with a ct scan obtained at this time point .
if the ct scan remains suggestive of an unhealed fracture , cast immobilization is maintained for an additional 6 weeks .
the exception to this involves cases in which a fracture of the proximal pole is identified on mri . in these cases
after operative fixation , the patient is placed in a volarly based thumb spica splint . if the patient is unlikely to comply with postoperative activity restrictions ,
activity is restricted to not lifting > 2 pounds and no repetitive use ; utilizing the hand for activities of daily living and personal hygiene only is allowed . at 6 weeks , a ct scan is obtained to evaluate for evidence of union . if evidence of healing , such as disappearance of the fracture line , spot welding between fragments , or callous formation is present , immobilization is discontinued , with gradual return to activities .
the literature suggests that partial union is often present but usually progresses to full union without the need for additional immobilization.72 if no evidence of healing is noted , immobilization is continued , with another ct scan obtained 46 weeks thereafter . in the setting of an established scaphoid nonunion without significant arthritis ,
vascularized bone grafting with a technique such as the 1,2-icrsa graft and fixation with metallic hardware , preferably a screw , is advised .
when significant degenerative changes preclude scaphoid reconstruction , salvage procedures such as proximal row carpectomy , neurectomy , or limited or complete wrist arthrodesis are indicated . in summary ,
this article provides an algorithm for the diagnosis , evaluation , and treatment of scaphoid fracture and possible sequelae , including nonunion . | pubmed |
1)should i rewired all the cablings?
what should i do to please every one?
but here is a few things to look at, I am assuming that this is not an assignment. And I gather that you have offices at both ends of the building. I am also assuming that you are currently using cat5 cable.
1. limit runs through the production area, use a switch or router for each end of the building with a single run across the rpoduction are. If some systems are in the production area I would suggest another switch or router in there to handle them.
This should greatly reduce the emi within each office area.
2. When laying any new cable use external usage cat5e as this will provide better protection against emi and any chemicals in the air. I would push to replace all cables that go through the production area with this.
3. The absolutely best answer is more expensive and that would be to use fibre cable through the production area, but this cost may not be warranted.
4. When possible upgrade system to 10/100/1000 mbps NICS, switches, routers and cables as this will improve preformance but it may be best to take a planned approach to do as equipment needs replacing - cost factors again. | slim_pajama |
Pachyneurium is a section within the genus Anthurium. It is the largest section, containing the birdsnest Anthuriums. Plants of the section are terrestrial, with a rosette growth habit of dense, deeply rooted stems, and long lanceolate to oblanceolate leaves. Leaves are borne on short petioles, and often have waved margins. The most notable characteristic is in the rolling of new leaves. Anthurium of all other sections are rolled in a simple spiral, resembling a conch shell; those of Pachyneurium are rolled in two opposite spirals towards the central rib of the leaf.
The birdsnest form of these Anthuriums means that they trap debris and water quite efficiently in the plant base; this adaptation is a response to living in very arid climates. As such, they rarely appear in wet forest environments, where other Anthurium sections are frequent inhabitants. Typical plants of the section include Anthurium affine, A. cubense and A. schlechtendalii.
References
Pachynerium
Category:Plant sections | wikipedia |
------~---··--· ---.. ·----· --· ~------~
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
by
ROBERT BOLT LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
PART ONE
1 As a background to the SCREEN CREDITS the following:
CLOSE SHOT of the MOTOR BICYCLE. It is large, powerful and in
beautiful condition. We can see that it is standing in some kind of
country shed with a background of work-bench, petrol cans and so on.
A few wild flowers, dandelions and such, are stuffed rather roughly in
a jam jar on the work-bench.· The shed is open-fronted and the
motor bicycle and its background are dappled with sunlight. falling
through nearby leaves. A MAN comes and stands between us and
the machine with his back towards us. We can only see him from
the buttocks down. He is wearing heavy motor-cycling boots and slaps
onto the petrol tank a pair of gauntlet gloves. CAMERA. stays on this
while he prepares the machine - filling the tank, adjusting choke and
mixture controls, ad lib as needed. He mounts and kicks the starter
and moves off frame, with a roar.
2 PANNING SHOT. The motor-cycle leaves the farmyard into the lane.
As background to FINAL CREDITS, the peaceful farmyard; noise of
motor-bike receding to silence. Then sharp cut to:
3 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. The MOTOR-CYCLIST. Head and
shoulders. On SOUND TRACK engine roaring. He is so heavily
begoggled and mufflered as to be anonymous but he wears no helmet
and his bright hair is .ruffled in the slipstream.
4· MOVING SHOT of the road ahead. .At a distance, the road is up.
It is too early in the morning for the workers to be there; a NIGHT
WATCHMAN yawns over his brazier. .A notice says "WARNING.
Drain laying. Roadworks ahead". We throttle down and pass the
roadworks, still too fast and bank for a corner. Round the corner
a similar roadworks and a similar notice which we see nearer than before, the word "WARNING" looming larger. Again we throttle down
and pass the roadworks, again too fast, and are accelerating
immediately towards a-second corner.
Coming out of the corner a third .roadworks ahead. The same
notice repeated, this time the word "WARNING" almost filling the
screen.
5 CLOSE SHOT of .the MOTOR-CYCLIST. The scarf has slipped a
little and we can see his mouth.
It is neither smiling nor particularly
determined but it sets into a sort of still calm as the CYCLIST
accelerates: L
()
(
I 0 ,.
0
,-.·,· '\ ( _ _)
0 2
5 Continued
Through the roadworks far too fast. We swerve to the left, to the
right, tilt, approach a blind bridge, are out of control, spin, crash.
6 CLOSE SHOT. A piece of the road. The goggles slither along it
up to CAMERA.
CUT TO
7 CLOSE SHOT. The blind stone eyes of LAWRENCE's bust in a
chapel of St. Paul's Cathedral. On SOUND TRACK, the organ. A
MAN in very correct civilian clothes, holding his bowler hat, adjusts
·tlie certtra1·wreath which has fallen askew. He does this not reverently
. but neatly , severely, and then without a backward glance leaves the
chapel (past two SOLDIERS in blues who keep vigil there) and makes his
way up the aisle after the rest of the discreetly murmuring, shuffling
congregation where an elderly friend, a CLERIC, awaits him.
8 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. BRIGHTON and his FRIEND pace slowly
along the aisle, past memor'ials to other honoured heroes, which
glimmer faintly from the walls. At these the CLERIC glances; then
away.
CLERIC
Well nil nisi bonum. · But I find some
thing • . . disproportionate in all this.
' BRIGHTON
(must defend Lawrence,
though he can't disagree)
He was a remarkable chap. By any
counts, remarkable. ·
CLERIC
(interested)
. Did;you know him well?
BRIGHTON
I knew him.
9 MEDIUM LONG SHOT. The steps of St. Pauls. The fashionable
CONGREGATION is leaving, watched by a crowd of more ordinary
FOLK who are kept aside by a few POLICEMEN. ALLENBY is
standing alone, and quite still. He is in civvies and his bearing is
modest, but one or two who pass him raise their hats, as though
saluting. A REPORTER approaches.
/ -·-------·-------------~~_,;,,; I
. i -e
( :
lo
I
I
i -, :C.J 9 Continued
REPORTER·
Lord Allenby. Could you give me a
few words about Colonel Lawrence?
ALLENBY
(smiles a little)
What, more words .•• ?
(he makes a deliberately
formal "statement")
"The Revolt in the Desert played a
decisive part in the Middle Eastern campaign".
The REPORTER is disappointed.
REPORTER.
Yes sir, but about Colonel Lawrence himself.
ALLENBY
No.
(politely regretful)
I didn 1t know him well you know. 3
ALLENBY moves away'. The REPORTER sees somebody else. off
screen and darts towards BENTLEY and a LADY.
REPORTER
Mr. Bentley, you must know as much
about Colonel Lawrence as anybody does.
BENTLEY
(a public "statement" which
REPORTER takes down)
"It was'.my privilege to know him and to make
him known to the world: he was a scholar, a
poet, and a mighty warrior''.
REPORTER tips his hat to the LADY and moves away.
BENTLEY (Cont)
He was also the most shameless exhibitionist
since :Barnum and Bailey.
A MILITARY GENTLEMAN (The M.O. of the final sequence) darts
up from behind, looming on the step above.
MILITARY GENTLEMAN
You sir: Who~ you? I j 0
t_)
0
<)
0 9 Continued
BENTLEY
(not a bit put out)
My name's Jackson Bentley.
Oh. MILITARY GENTLEMAN
(momentarily thrown)
(recovers instantly)
You whoever you are sir, I heard your
last remark and I take the strongest
possible exception!
· (challenging)
He was a very great man!
BENTLEY
(mildly)
Did you know him?
MILITARY GENTLEMAN
No sir, I can't claim I knew him.
(truculent)
· I had the honour once to shake his hand
in Damascus! 4
BENTLEY turns away with politely raised eyebrows. MURRAY
passes with a FRIEND. He growls:
MURRAY
Knew him? No I never knew him. He
had some minor function oiimy Staff in
Cairo.
DISSOLVE TO
10 INT. MAPPING ROOM. BRITISH H.Q. CAIRO
CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE is neatly tinting a map with water
colour. He sits back to look at it, patiently, but without enthusiasm,
A shadow falls across him and he looks up, interested.
11 CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE's point of view of a basement window.
Outside, the lower half of a camel walks by.
12 MED. SHOT. We now see that LAWRENCE is seated in a long
narrow room, hardly more than a glorified passage. At each end
a hole has been knocked high up in the wall and a massive bundle of electric cables proceeds in from one to the other and out again,
__ J J
I
I ·.----· I
.)
r . ;C)
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dimming the already inadequate light which comes through a series of
semi-circular windows high up in the wall of the basement. There
are six drawing boards with pots of paint, brushes, T squares,
protractors, compasses, pens and ink, pencils, piles of rolled maps
and whatever else cartographers need. Above the boards hang lamps
with metal shades, and before each board is a stool. At one of
these sits the only other OCCUPANT of the room, a SERGEANT.
LAWRENCE
(gloomily)
Michael George Hartley, this is a nasty,
dark little room.
SERGEANT
'T's right.
LAWRENCE
We are not happy in it.
SERGEANT
(thinking of the trenches)
· I am.
LAWRENCE
Then you are an ignoble fellow.
SERGEANT
'T's right.
He lights a cigarette, throwing down the packet and box, while
· LAWRENCE watches him, and goes on with his work. It is a
relationship not uncommon in the Forces; the gulf of class and
rank.has been bridged by means of a ritualised parody. There is
the sound of boots on stone floor. LAWRENCE looks up.
13 CLOSE SHOT, The door opens and a chirpy CORPORAL enters
with a folded newspaper. Beyond him we catch a glimpse of a
telephone exchange and a flight of stairs leading upwards from
the basement. · ·
14 MED. SHOT. The CORPORAL walks over towards LAWRENCE.
The phlegmatic SERGEANT takes no notice at all.
LAWRENCE
Here is William Potter with my newspaper.
CORPORAL
Here y'are tosh.
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14 Continued
LAWRENCE takes the paper, paying for it with a coin from his
pocket.
Thanks. LAWRENCE
(quite simply)
(back to the act)
Would you care for one of Sergeant
Hartley's cigarettes?
CORPORAL
Ta.
It is part of the game that no-one .shall smile. The CORPORAL takes
one of the SERGEANT's cigarettes as LAWRENCE unfolds his paper.
SERGEANT
Is it there?
15 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE holds up the paper at the front page. It'
1s in Arabic. He is instantly absorbed. The SERGEANT and .
CORPORAL regard him with the respect which everyone feels for the ·
man with a passion, even uncomprehended.
LAWRENCE
Of course it is. Headlines.
(grimly)
But I'll bet it isn't mentioned in The Times.
(he indicates)
"Bedouin Tribes Attack Turkish Strong
hold". And I'll bet there's no-one in the
whole of this Headquarters who even knows
it's happened.
· (he throws down the paper)
Or would care if he · did.
16 MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE finds their sympathetic, bovine gaze
upon him and laughs.
LAWRENCE
Allow me to ignite your cigarette~
He strikes one of the SERGEANT' s matches and lights the
CORPORAL's cigarette. Then, he extinguishes the match by very
slowly closing his :finger and thumb upon the flame, his face very
attentive the while. It is a trick the other two have evidently seen
before but which evidently still fascinates.
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SERGEANT
(dispassionately)
You'll do that once too often. It's only
flesh and blood.
LAWRENCE returns to his work, murmuring:
LAWRENCE
Why, Michael George Hartley, you're a
philospher.
CORPORAL
(amiably)
You're barmy. 7
17 CLOSE SHOT. The door opens and an M. P. SERGEANT enters.
M.P.
Mr. Lawrence?
Yes? LAWRENCE (Off)
(courteously)
M.P.
flimsy, sir.
He goes towards LAWRENCE.
18 CLOSE SHOT. The CORPORAL sits down on his own stool, as the
M. P. enters picture, hands the .flimsy· to LAWRENCE, and exits.
LAWRENCE unfolds the flimsy and his expression changes. The
SERGEANT takes no notice, assuming it to be a routine order of
some kind. LAWRENCE puts down the flimsy and takes his hat from
a nail driven into the wall within reach, and gets down from his stool,
his face very still, his eyes excited. The CORPORAL is preoccupied
with a burning match which he proceeds to extinguish between his
fingers.
CORPORAL
(indignantly)
It damn well 'urts!
LAWRENCE
Certainly it hurts. ·o
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CORPORAL
(cajoling)
Well what's the trick then?
LAWRENCE
The trick, William Potter, is not
minding if it hurts.
THE CAMERA IS PANNING with him on the way to the door. He
opens it and turns·.
LAWRENCE
. Oh, if Captain Gibbon
(he articulates the name
with special politeness)
should enquire for me; tell him I've gone
for a chat with the General.
He turns to go.
19 CLOSE SHOT. The SERGEANT and CORPORAL.
SERGEANT
(n.ot looking up)
Right you are, tosh.
CORPORAL
( with just a shade of
resentment)
He's barmy. ·
SERGEANT
He's all right.
{he slips from his st.ool
and glances at the flimsy)
Good Lord, he has too.
CORPORAL
What?
SERGEANT
Gone to see the General.
20 INT. JUNIOR OFFICERS' CLUB
LONG SHOT. The Junior Officers' Club is a spacious room, long,
high, and airy, once ornate, now stripped, but immaculately clean
and orderly. One side is of glass and gives onto a courtyard. Its
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floor is covered in bleached matting: on the walls are steel
engravings of old victories, dead Generals and living Royalty. It is
furnished with a great many basket chairs of uniform pattern
arranged in symmetrical fours round small tables with cloths of
unbleached linen.
' ·' There is a bar and a billiard table in the foreground of picture. Fans
turn. At the bar are two or three OFFICERS.· One or two OTHERS
sit at tables. TWO are preparing for snooker. Otherwise the place
is empty. Their voices are pleasant and well-modulated.
LAWRENCE appears in the background walking through the Club
alongside the glass s~reen.
The SECRET ARY (GIBBON) is chalking his cue at the billiard table.
He is a CAPTAIN and wears a fierce moustache like a circus ring
master. The other OFFICER is also a CAPTAIN and is raising
. the triangular frame from the reds when the SECRET ARY sees
LAWRENCE, frowns, surprised, and after a fractional hesitation,
calls:
SECRETARY
Lawrence.
LAWRENCE veers over towards them; the SECRETARY continues
with his cue until LAWRENCE is within a few paces of the table.
SECRETARY
You're supposed to be ••• do you usually
wear your cap in the Club?
. The SECRETARY's tone is not hectoring, but ort the contrary, quite
low-pitched, to avoid needless embarrassment, and his words accompanied by a serious little smile. LAWRENCE's tone with the OFFICERS will be nervously aggressive, whereas his tone with the
B. O. R. 's was comfortable, courteous, and even affectionate. ·
LAWRENCE
Always.
LAWRENCE had in fact forgotten the cap and wishes very much that
he had not. His eyes slide to take in the other OFFICERS who stop
talld.ng. He relaxes deliberately.
SECRETARY
(still mild, but not smiling)
You're supposed to be on duty, aren't you?
Where are you going? i () le ----,
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LAWRENCE
(reproving)
Mustn't talk shop, Freddy. Not in the
Club. 10
The OFFICERS regard him not with animosity, but with decent
disapproval.
LAWRENCE
:Matter of fact, I'm just going for a pow
wow with the General.
SECRETARY
(reasonably)
I'm not asking as your superior, Lawrenc~,
I'm asking as Secretary of this Club.
(reasonably again)
We don't want chaps in here when they
should be on duty.
(firmly)
Where are you going, please?
By way of answer, LAWRENCE, smiling knowingly, takes the black
and flicks it across the table.
21 CLOSE UP. The black hits the triangle sending the balls in all
directions.
22 MED. SHOT. The CAPTAIN who all this time has been chalking
his cue with considerate indifference, looks up and says with frank
exasperation:
CAPTAIN
I must say, Lawrence!
LAWRENCE looks at the littered table where the balls still roll in
confusion, and the glitter leaves his face.
LAWRENCE
Sorry!
And he turns and goes, watched by EVERYONE. SECRETARY says
after him, not jeering but firmly:
SECRETARY "' you're a clown, _Lawrence.
At this LAW~ENCE turns and says, backing: . i
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LAWRENCE
Oh well, we can't all be lion-tamers.
And backs into a table at which a young LIEUTENANT of Yeomanry
with a handsome face and buttered hair is drinking.
23 CLOSE UP. A half-empty bottle of lager falls over on the table and
spills onto the perfect breeches.
24 CLOSE SHOT. The LIEUTENANT, with cruel restraint merely
puts down his glass and looks at LAWRENCE.
LAWRENCE
Sorry.
25 CLOSE SHOT. An awkward pause. LAWRENCE hesitates. But
there is nothing to be done. He goes. They all look after him in
silence, the LIEUTENANT of Yeomanry steadily wiping his breeches
with a handkerchief, the CAPTAIN starting to rearrange the triangle.
The SECRET ARY turns back to the table saying clearly:
SECRETARY
Pretentious oaf.
26 INT. GENERAL MURRAY'S OFFICE CAIRO
CLOSE SHOT. GENERAL MURRAY is one of those regulation
officers whose pride is to appear more regulation than anyone can be,
His face is hard and shrewd, his expression exasperated. He is
seated at his desk. On the wall behind him is an "Illustrated London
News" type pen and ink sketch of heavy artillery on the Western front.
On a ledge under the picture is a collection of empty shell cases of
varying sizes. GENERAL MURRAY is addressing DRYDEN, a
donnish man with a pale, lined, lively face, wearing civilian clothes
who at this moment has his back to us as he stands looking out of a
window overlooking the gardens of the Headquarters.
MURRAY
I smell an intrigue! An intrigue between
the Arab Bureau and a junior officer of
my staff~ A very junior officer, an
insubordinate junior officer, an officer
who, so far as I can gather, has proved
markedly incompetent in a very junior post~
DRYDEN turns from the window, smiling a little at the reference to
LAWRENCE's incompetence, and offers a smiling explanation of it. I r
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DRYDEN
He wants to go to Arabia, sir.
He strolls away from the window towards a chair in front of
MURRAY's desk, the CAMERA TRACKING BACKWARDS with him
into a medium shot of the two of them. We now see that DRYDEN is
carrying a copy of the Arabic newspaper.
MURRAY
.I'm aware of that. He's made application
for a posting to Arabia once a month ever
since he got here. . · Very well then, the
Arab Bureau comes along and says, " we
want an Intelligence man in Arabia. We want you to second us a man in Arabia.
We think it should be Mr. Lawrence." It's
an intrigue, Dryden, and
I don't propose to
let an over-weening, finicking, crass
Lieutenant thumb his nose at his General
Officer Commanding, and get away with it!
He loosens the collar of his shirt as DRYDEN smiles again, and sits
in the chair.
DRYDEN
( calmly quizzical)
It doesn't sound as though he'd be any
great loss, sir.
MURRAY
Now don't try that, Dryden. There's
a principle involved.
27 CLOSE UP. DRYDEN
DRYDEN
(suddenly quite sharp -
but still calm)
There is indeed. He's no use here in Cairo
and he might be in Arabia. He knows his
stuff, sir.
28 CLOSE UP. MURRAY. He is a little put out by the moral tone of
this, which though a shade spinsterish is not less authentic for
that. He grumbles: !
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MURRAY
Knows the books you mean.
("books" is very
contemptuous)
I've already sent out Colonel Brighton -
who is a soldier - and if Brighton thinks
we should send them some small arms
then we will. What more d'you want?
29 MED. SHOT
DRYDEN
There would be no question of Lieutenant
Lawrence giving military agvice, sir -
MURRAY
- My God I should hope not!
DRYDEN
It's just that the Arab Bureau wants its
own man on the spot sir, to ...
To what? MURRAY
(suspicious)
DRYDEN
To make our own appraisal of the
situation. 13
DRYDEN spreads his hands deprecatingly as he says this, as one
who makes an almost childishly small request. But his eyes are
ready for conflict - he speaks for the Bureau - and MURRAY is
uneasy. This is a conflict which has been brewing for some time.
30 CLOSE UP. MURRAY. He looks away, fiddels with a ruler.
Blurts out:
MURRAY
I may as well tell you. It's my considered
opinion and that of my staff that any time
spent on the Bedouin will be time wasted.
They're a nation of sheep stealers!
31 CLOSE UP. DRYDEN. He raises and lets fall the newspaper.
DRYDEN
They did attack Medina. i
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MURRAY (Off)
And the Turks made mincemeat of them.
DRYDEN
We-don't know that, sir.
32 CLOSE UP. MURRAY.
MURRAY
We know they didn't take it. A storm
in a tea-cup, Dryden, a side-show -
(he broods)
If you want my own opinion, this whole
theatre of operations is a side-show.
The real war's being fought against the
Germaiis not the Turks. Not here, but on
the Western Front . . . in the trenches~
(his eyes glow and we see
for a moment how he longs
to be there organising mass
attacks through mud)
And your "Bedouin Army" or whatever it
calls itself - would be a side-show of a
side-show!
33 CLOSE UP. DRYDEN. He is smiling again.
DRYDEN
Big things have small beginnings, sir. 14
34 CLOSE SHOT. MURRAY darts a quick look at him and rises.
MURRAY
And does the Arab Bureau want a big
thing in Arabia? If they rise against the
Turks, does the Bureau think they're
going to sit down quietly under us when
this war's over?
DRYDEN
The Bureau thinks the job of the moment
is to win the war.
MURRAY
(flushing, walks back
to his desk)
Don't tell me my duty, Mr. Dryden. i
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35 CLOSE SHOT. The door is opened by a STAFF MAJOR. Behind
him we see LAWRENCE standing in the outer office. He moves
forward as soon as he is announced.
MAJOR.
Lawrence, sir.
MURRAY (Off)
Send him in.
LAWRENCE brushes past the MAJOR and walks into the room.
LAWRENCE
(cheerfully)
Good morning, sir.
36 CLOSE SHOT. MURRAY
MURRAY
Salute!
37 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE comes to a halt near DRYDEN and
salutes, very badly, his legs not quite together, and throws a side
long glance at DRYDEN expecting approbation, but DRYDEN shakes
his head quickly, somewhat to LAWRENCE's surprise.
38 MED. SHOT. THE GROUP. MURRAY has been looking at
LAWRENCE, ready to be enraged, but with something not unlike
caution, but he intercepts the look at DRYDEN and explodes.
MURRAY
If you're insubordinate with me, Lawrence,
I'll put you under arrest!
LAWRENCE
(apparently crestfallen)
It's my manner, sir.
MURRAY
(barks, suspicious)
What?
LAWRENCE
My manner, sir. It looks insubordinate,
but it isn't really.
MURRAY is again baffled by his own lack of imagination and
LAWRENCE's apparent innocence. He moves uneasily. .-r-· ·-·-,
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MURRAY
I can't make out whether you' re bloody
bad-mannered or just half-witted.
LAWRENCE
(confidentially)
I have the same trouble, sir.
MURRAY
(thumping the table)
Shut up!
LAWRENCE
Yes, sir.
MURRAY
The Arab Bureau seems to think you
could be some use to them in Arabia.
Why, I can't imagine. You don't seem
able to perform your present duties
properly.
LAWRENCE
(smiling, he quotes - not
mockingly, but as dons do
quote, en passant}
"I cannot fiddle but I can make a great state
from a little city. "
MURRAY
(suspicious, barks)
What?
LAWRENCE
(delicately helpful)
Themistocles, sir. A Greek philosopher.
MURRAY
I know you've been well educated, Lawrence;
it says so in your dossier.
He pushes back his chair, rises, and walks to a window. 16
39 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and DRYDEN. LAWRENCE raises
his eyebrows and smiles enquiringly at DRYDEN, but DRYDEN
frowns and gestures with his hand that he is to simmer down. I
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40 CLOSE SHOT. MURRAY standing looking out of the window.
A swirl of dust blows by outside. MURRAY's face is dark with all
the extrovert's loathing of the sensitive and introspective. He says,
slowly and with great sincerity:
41 CLOSE UP. MURRAY
You're the kind of creature I can't stand,
Lawrence •.. but I suppose I could be wrong. All right, Dryden.
LAWRENCE
MURRAY (Off)
! , , You can have him for six weeks.
LAWRENCE's face lights up, but almost immediately he composes
himself.
42 CLOSE SHOT. MURRAY has turned around eyeing LAWRENCE
heavily.
. MURRAY
Who knows! It might even make a man
of him.
Come in! (in answer to a knock
at the door)
43 LONG SHOT. The door opens and the STAFF MAJOR enters
excitedly with a sheaf of bills.
MURRAY
What is it, Hawthorn?
MAJOR
Navy signal, sir. The convoy's coming
in tomorrow night.
MURRAY
(real joy)
Is that certain?
MAJOR
Yes sir ... there doesn't seem to be
any artillery .
MURRAY' s joy changes to anxiety. He snatches the paper.
MURRAY
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DRYDEN and LAWRENCE have been forgotten.
DRYDEN
(firmly)
It's something of an expedition, sir. He
has got to get to Yenbo, find transport,
find the Arabs, and then get back. He
can't do that in six weeks. .,.
MURRAY
Two months then.
DRYDEN
Three.
MURRAY
All right, three! Now let me do some
work, Dryden.
And immediately his attention is back on the papers.
DRYDEN
Thank you, sir. 18
DRYDEN leaves, beckoning to LAWRENCE to follow, but
LAWRENCE remains. He a,ddresses MURRAY'S bent head. He is
sincere and correspondingly awkward.
· LAWRENCE
I'd like to say, sir, that I am grateful for .•.•
MURRAY
Shut up and get out.
44 CLOSE SHOT.- LAWRENCE. His expression is hurt, then viciously
resentful; then is replaced by his habitual protective mockery.
THE CAM:ERA PANS with him as he goes to the door and turns:
LAWRENCE
Sir!
45 CLOSE SHOT. MURRAY and the MAJOR. They both look up.
46 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. He performs a slow-motion parody
of the regulation army salute and goes. 1:
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L 19
47 CLOSE SHOT. MURRAY and the MAJOR. Even before the door
has closed MURRAY is searching rapidly through the Bills of Lading.
He comes to the end and starts again, more and more frantically.
Suddenly he cries out in real distress.
MURRAY
Oh, how can I fight a bloody war without
bloody artillery?
INT. CORRIDOR
48 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. DRYDEN and LAWRENCE. THE
CAMERA IS TRACKING on a CLOSE SHOT of DRYDEN. LAWRENCE
runs up behind him.
LAWRENCE
Oh, Shabash, Dryden~
DRYDEN avoids him and continues walking •
. DRYDEN
(reproving)
He's not a bad chap, Lawrence.
. LAWRENCE
No he's not a bad chap, he's a fool.
(grins in anticipation)
How did you do it?
DRYDEN again avoids him and goes on walking.
DRYDEN
You might better ask me why I bothered to.
At this LA WREN CE falls into step beside him, and although his
words are still flippant his face begins to assume its expression of stiff and bitter withdrawal.
LAWRENCE
Because I'm the man for the job.
DRYDEN
(looking straight ahead)
I just wonder about that.
LAWRENCE
Of course I'm the man for the job. What is the job,
by the way?
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DRYDEN
(pausing beside a door)
Find Prince Feisal.
DRYDEN opens the door and they enter.
INT. DRYDEN'S OFFICE 20
49 MED. SHOT. This is a room at once similar to but utterly
different from GENERAL MURRAY'S. It is elegantly furnished and
carpeted, the room of a cultivated xenophile. There are pictures of
ancient desert monuments and fragments of carving.
LAWRENCE
Good. And when I've found him?
DRYDEN
Find out what ldnd of man he is. Find out -
(his gaze wanders somewhat)
- what his intentions are. I don't mean his
immediate intentions - that's Colonel
Brighton's business, not yours. I mean his
intentions in Arabia altogether.
LAWRENCE appreciates the significance of this. He walks away a
little and comes to rest with his hand on a fragment of stone.
LAWRENCE
Oh that's nice ...
DRYDEN agrees. LAWRENCE .puts down the piece of stone.
LAWRENCE
Where are they now?
DRYDEN
Anywhere within 300 miles of Medina.
They're Hashemite Bedouins, they can
cross 60 miles of desert in a day.
LAWRENCE throws back his head in silent rapture.
LAWRENCE
Oh, thanks Dryden. This is going to be
fun~ r---·
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DRYDEN
Lawrence, only two kinds of creature get
'fun' in the desert, Bedouins ... and -
(J1is gaze wanders round the
photographs of silent sun
scorched figures and the
fragments of stone)
- gods. And you' re neither. Take it
from me for ordinary men it's a burning
fiery furnace. 21
DRYDEN is irritably tapping a black Russian cigarette for himself.
LAWRENCE steps forward, takes a box of matches and lights it for
him,
LAWRENCE
(very quietly)
No, Dryden, it's going to be fun.
The set intensity of his expression is in utter contradiction to his
words.
50 CLOSE UP. DRYDEN. He looks from the burning match in
LAWRENCE'S fingers to LAWRENCE's face.
DRYDEN
(rather sourly)
It is recognized that you have a funny
sense of fun.
51 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE. He smiles and raises the flame to his
lips. He bows it out in the normal manner,
DISSOLVE TO
52 SUNRISE IN THE DESERT :
A series of shots taken with an under-cranked camera so that the
change from grey dawn to brilliant sunlight is speeded. The
audience should be unaware of the trick process, but from the first
appearance of the sun over the horizon and the casting oi the first
shadow there should be a constant sense of movement as the sun
rises higher and higher and the shadows grow shorter and shorter.
Prominent in the composition of almost every shot should be the
footprints of two camels. We do not see the actual camels until
the series of under-cranked shots are finished and we
CUT TO
-----
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53 CLOSE SHOT. THE SUN, now a searing white.
54 LONG SHOT. A brilliantly lit desert vista of sand and rock. The
tiny figures of two MEN on camels appear over a distant ridge.
55 CLOSE SHOT. The camels come to a halt. They are ridden by
LAWRENCE, who is dressed in regulation British uniform, and
TAF AS, his Arab guide, who wears the robes of a Hazimi of the Beni
Salem. The two MEN scan the horizon.
56 LONG SHOT. A vast romantic landscape of sand, rock and blue sky.
57 CLOSE SHOT .. LAWRENCE AND TAFAS. Almostinv.oluntarily
LAWRENCE takes in a deep breath of air.
TAFAS
Here you may drink, one cup.
LAWRENCE unstraps a tin army mug and fills it from his water
bottle. He is about to drink and then stops.
LAWRENCE
You do not drink?
TAFAS
No.
LAWRENCE
I will drink when you do.
LA~RENCE begins to return the ·water to the bottle.
TAFAS
(grunts and shrugs)
I am Bedu.
DISSOLVE TO
58 LONG SHOT. A MUD FLAT UNDER FLOATING DUST. (But the
mud flat should be broken by rocks and not comparable to the
Nefud mud· flat later, and the dust not comparable to either the
opaque wall of the dust-storm nor the weird effect of Sinai. This
is, as it were, a mere introduction to and explanation of the
phenomenon.) .
59 MED. TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE and TAFAS emerge well
powdered from one small cloud into clarity. T AF AS ties his
headcloth round his mouth. LAWRENCE spits out dust while
TAFAS is doing this and TAFAS looks at him. They are obscured
again .
··-·-----·~-- ·----~-.---.. ---··-~- . ··-~- ... --.... ·--·-····-- --~----...JI. • CJ jO
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60 MED. TRACKING SHOT. They emerge. TAFAS offers to
LAWRENCE a bit of rag, intimating in mime that he should tie it
over his mouth. LAWRENCE hesitates. They are obscured again.
61 MED. TRACKING SHOT. They emerge, LAWRENCE with the rag
tied over his mouth. Camera pans with them.
62 LONG SHOT. They ride away from us towards the next cloud which
distantly drifts down towards them.
DISSOLVE TO
63 MED. SHOT. It is evening and the two camels are approaching the
long shadows of a circle of juniper bushes and high sheltering rocks
which frame a secluded hollow of soft multi-coloured sands. The
camels are brought to a halt.
64 CLOSE SHOT, TAFAS AND LAWRENCE
TAFAS
We will sleep here.
The camels are made to kneel and TAFAS dismounts. For a moment
LAWRENCE remains in the saddle easing his aching back, then,
anxious to hide his discomfiture, he climbs stiffly out of the saddle
only to find that standing is even more painful. TAF AS has untied
his water skin and brings it to LAWRENCE.
TAFAS
(smiling)
And now we will both drink.
LAWRENCE undoes his cup and holds it out.
TAFAS
(pouring the water)
You do well ... Aurens.
LAWRENCE
Lawrence.
TAFAS
Aurens.
LAWRENCE raises his cup to him. They both drink.
65 CLOSE SHOT. A red sun low on the horizon.
DISSOLVE TO . }
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(_) 24
66 LONG SHOT. A huge cliff of dazzling white sand leading up to a
ridge backed by deep blue sky. After a few moments the small
figures of the two MOUNTED MEN appear over the crest.
67 CLOSE SHOT. T AF AS signals a halt and both MEN stare down at
the landscape below.
68 LONG SHOT. A wide and empty plateau with mountains in the
distance.
69 CLOSE SHOT. T AF AS points out ahead, but seeing nothing,
LAWRENCE unslings an old pair of binoculars and raises them to
his eyes.
70 LONG SHOT (BINOCULAR EFFECT) A caravan of four camels
moving across the plateau towards the mountains.
71 CLOSE SHOT. T AF AS is looking at them intently, but finding
LAWRENCE's regard upon him he gives a quick explanatory grin and
says, with the off-handedness of one belittling his own anxiety, for
his own comfort .
TAFAS
From here to Lord Feisal's camp is Harith
country.
I know. LAWRENCE
TAFAS
(his attention going back
to the distant RIDERS)
I am not Harith ...
LAWRENCE
(indicating some detail
of his dress)
No, Hazimi, of the Beni Salem.
TAFAS
(astonished and pleased,
looks at LAWRENCE}
Aye~
But immediately his pleasure fades, and as he urges his beast
forward, he is again gazing thoughtfully towards the caravan ...
DISSOLVE TO
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72 CLOSE SHOT. Little gusts of wind are blowing sand across the
embers of last night's fire. CAMERA, drawing back, reveals
TAFAS and LAWRENCE, both squatted, Durham-miner fashion, by
the fire in identical postures, absorbed, eating; then their kneeling
camels. Saddles and saddle bags piled before LA WREN CE and
T AF AS on the other side of the fire. CUT BACK from this again to:
73 CLOSE SHOT. TAFAS is eating a fist full of ran~id mutton fat.
LAWRENCE is eating thin arrowroot biscuits which he extracts
from their packet and eats as neatly as if he were in a vicarage.
Between them on the sand are LAWRENCE's shining tin mug, and
whatever nasty receptacle such a person as TAFAS might use.
Silence prevails. T AF AS' eyes flick intently from time to time to
LAWRENCE's revolver on the pile of LAWRENCE's equipment.
(CLOSE SHOT on this) LAWRENCE from time to time, watches the
brisk progression of fat from TAF AS' hand to mouth. His expression
is in no way disgusted. He is wondering if he could do it. Absently
he takes up his mug. It is empty. T AF AS quickly offers his own
which is half full. It is rimmed with mutton fat. LAWRENCE
gently rejects it. T AF AS looks at it for a moment and replaces it
on the ground. LAWRENCE disapproves of himself. TAFAS
addresses ·ms jaws to the mutton and his eyes to the revolver.
LAWRENCE
Take it.
TAFAS
(stops eating and looks
at LAWRENCE. As
one who explains the
nature of a commercial
contract) . b take you to Lord Feisal. Then you
give it to me.
LAWRENCE
(nods to show his
comprehension)
Take it now.
He gives the pistol to TAFAS, who, eyes shining, wipes his fingers
on his clothes and takes it reverently as though it were ceramic and
he a connoisseur. Wordlessly he thrusts it into his belt. He looks
at LAWRENCE with a complex of emotions struggling beneath his
rudimentary features.
He takes up his fat and has a brilliant idea. He holds it out eagerly.
but his smile vanishes as he remembers the incident of the mug. He
laughs deprecatingly at the mutton ...
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Bedu food. TAFAS
(. . . and rather sadly
draws it back again) 26
LAWRENCE thrusts out his hand and takes ap_iece and puts ·it in his
mouth, watched anxiously by TAFAS. There is no comedy, and
from the steely concentration of his face we see that the flesh is
indeed mortified.
LAWRENCE
Good.
More? TAFAS
(very pleased, thrusts
out the fat)
LAWRENCE gravely takes some more.
DISSOLVE TO
74 EXTREME LONG SHOT. (HELICOPTER) The desert is now a
firm and level plain. At first we see nothing but the sweep of the
empty desert, then we perceive two tiny moving objects far below -
moving towards the CAMERA. The CAMERA begins to descend
towards them, and as they increase in size, we see two shadows,
two camels, two RIDERS. The CAMERA keeps boring in, and we
identify LAWRENCE and T AF AS cantering along at a good clip.
75 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE is still awkward on his
mount and TAF AS is giving him riding tips as they move along.
LAWRENCE's confidence grows, and the CA1\1ERA pans and tracks
with him as he urges the camel into a gallop. The camel describes
an erratic circle which brings LAWRENCE back alongside T AF AS.
LAWRENCE knows he has done well, and raises his eyebrows,
amused by his own greed for praise .
TAFAS
(genuinely approving)
I think we reach Masturah Well - tomorrow~
LAWRENCE
Yes?
TAFAS
And from Masturah Well to Lord Feisal's
camp, one day more. i r
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75 Continued
Now! TAFAS (Cont)
(as a teacher who desires
his pupil to repeat an
exercise, he looks at
LAWRENCE, his posture
and grip of his reins, and)
LAWRENCE obediently puts his beast into a canter, TAFAS following.
76 MED. SHOT. {HELICOPTER) The CAMERA pulls back and up, as
the canter becomes a gallop - higher and higher - until the tiny
FIGURES, now moving away from CAMERA, are lost to view.
77 CLOSE SHOT. The white hot sun of noon.
78
79 CLOSE SHOT The parched surface of a mud flat baked by the sun
into a flattened honeycomb.
TRACKING CLOSE UP. The CAMERA is close on the faces of
LAWRENCE and TAF AS which are outlined against the pattern of
the mud flat which slips by below them. LAWRENCE's skin is the
fiery red of the sunburnt European, and the folds of his headcloth
and the creases of his skin are powdered with fine dust. They ride
in silence.
80 LONG SHOT. We see now that the two RIDERS are crossing a long
and narrow mud flat enc,losed by tall black cliffs of rock.
81 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. TAFAS is again scanning the horizon
before them with narrowed eyes. He grunts and points.
The Well. TAFAS
(but he is less interested
in this than in whatever else
he is again scanning for)
82 CLOSE SHOT. A brilliant circle of blue sky framed in black.
The faces of LAWRENCE and T AF AS appear on the edge of the
circle. A bucket hurtles down towards CAMERA, and with a loud
splash, breaks the reflection in the still water at the bottom of a
well.
83 MED. SHOT. The top of the well is situated on the edge of the mud
flat. As T AF AS begins to haul up the bucket he glances carefully all
round the horizon. -LAWRENCE, noticing this, does the same - but (
(
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83 Continued
they see nothing. T AF AS regains the bucket, pours some water into
LAWRENCE's tin cup, then raises the bucket to his own lips. They
both drink.
TAFAS
Good?
LAWRENCE
(with a half-smile)
It's all right.
TAFAS
(the idea is new to him,
but he looks into his bucket,
catches on, and with the
patronizing indulgence
proper between two
civilized gentlemen for
the weakness of the primitive)
This is a Harith Well.
(with hypocritical regret)
The Harith are a dirty people.
(he ~inks greedily)
With another look round the horizon he goes over to a small trough
and pours out the remainder of the water for the camels. As the
camels drink, LAWRENCE strolls over to a little patch of sand and
lazily sits watching T AF AS as he returns to the well and drops the
bucket into it. A splash echoes up from below.
84 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE begins to whistle to himself. ("The
Man Who Broke the Bank") as he drifts off into a little daydream.
The sound of the bucket is heard bumping up the side of the well -
then it stops. There is a moment's silence followed by a heavy
splash. LAWRENCE looks up.
85 CLOSE UP. TAF AS is standing stock still looking out over the
mud flat.
86 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE turns to see what he is looking at.
87 LONG SHOT. A little dust cloud is approaching at a distance of
about half a mile, floating above the mirage .
88 MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE rises, and slowly goes over to T AF AS.
They stand together staring out over the flat. r
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89 LONG SHOT. A black blob wavers out of the centre of the dust
cloud. It could be a MAN running, a MAN on horse, a MAN on a
camel, almost anything.
90 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE AND TAFAS.
LAWRENCE
Turks?
TAFAS does not answer.
91 LONG SHOT. The blob is now recognisable as a horse or a camel,
but elongated, as if on stilts by the mirage.
92 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE AND TAFAS. A moment's pause.
TAFAS
Bedu.
Without looking at LAWRENCE, he hurries off.
93 MED. SHOT. As TAFAS leaves LAWRENCE and goes over to his
camel the approaching FIGURE out on the mud flat is now clearly see1,
as an ARAB mounted on a camel.
94 CLOSE UP. TAFAS unhitches his gun from the side of the camel,
and keeping close into animal, stands still, waiting •••
95 LONG SHOT. The approaching STRANGER is now quite near .•.
He wears a black hooded cloak with a black cloth drawn across his
face.
96 CLOSE SHOT. TAF AS is standing in the foreground of picture,
while LAWRENCE waits, puzzled and apprehensive by the well.
TAF AS masks his face with his headcloth.
LAWRENCE
Who is he?
T AF AS cocks his pistol.
Tafas~ LAWRENCE
(sharply)
97 QUICK CLOSE SHOT. TAFAS, masked. His eyes frightened.
Deaf to LAWRENCE.
98 QUICK MED. SHOT. At a distance of some 125 yards the
STRANGER is tapping his camel into a kneeling position. As he
reaches the ground he draws his rifle from the saddle holster. I
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LAWRENCE
Tafas, let me -30
99 CLOSE SHOT. With a sudden movement T AFAS steps out from the
side of his camel, raises his pistol and fires.
100 MED. SHOT. The STRANGER drops to the ground behind his camel.
There is another shot. TAFAS remains as still as a statue in the
foreground of picture.
101 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE, frozen in place, numbed by the unexpected
eruption of violence.
102 LONG SHOT. The three MEN remain completely still. Then,
T AF AS' gun falls to the ground with a clatter, and very slowly he
sags at the knees and crumples into a heap beside it. LAWR~NCE
runs over to the body. · i
103 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE stands looking down at the dead man, ,
and then raises his eyes to the mud flat. :
104 LONG SHOT. The STRANGER rises to his feet, reloads his rifle,
and mounts his camel.
105 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE goes down on his haunches by TAFAS,
keeping his eyes on ALI.
106 MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE stands with his back to C.AM:ERA in
the foreground of picture. In the background the STRANGER rides
slowly towards him and finally comes to a halt on the other side of
the dead man. After a glance to make sure that T AF AS is dead he
thrusts his rifle into the saddle holster, unwinds his headcloth, and
leaps gracefully to the ground. He is a handsome young man of
about LAWRENCE's age; an impressive figure in both bearing and
costume. He picks up the pistol. He examines it.
ALI ·
Is this pistol yours, English?
LAWRENCE
No, his.
So ALI stuffs it complacently into his own waistband and approaches
the well followed by his camel. He picks up the tin mug which is
lying on the wall of the trough.
ALI
His? ·,--·~--
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0 106 Continued
Mine. LAWRENCE
ALI
(as one who confers
a compliment)
Then I will use it. 31
He scoops a little water from the trough and does so, LAWRENCE
turns T AF AS onto his back.
ALI
He is dead.
LAWRENCE leaves TAFAS and approaches ALI.
LAWRENCE
Yes. Why?
ALI
This is my well.
LAWRENCE
I have drunk from it.
ALI
(politely)
You are welcome.
They look at one another. Neither of them frightened but in
mutual incomprehension .
ALI
(comforting)
He was nothing, English.
LAWRENCE
Then why kill him?
ALI
He was nothing. The well is every
thing. And it is mine. I am Sherif Ali
lbn El Kharish.
LAWRENCE
(this is real news evidently,
and makes LAWRENCE's mood
more thoughtful)
I have heard of you.
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ALI
(pleased)
So?
LAWRENCE
(indignation rising
spontaneously)
I had not heard you were a murderer.
ALI
(after a little pause.
Quietly)
You are angry, English.
LAWRENCE
He was my friend.
That?
Yes, that. ALI
(looks at T AF AS)
(looks at LAWRENCE)
LAWRENCE 32
ALI raises his fine eyebrows, but politely refrains from comment.
LAWRENCE finds himself defending his humanitarian position,
which makes him the more angry.
LAWRENCE
He was taking me to help Prince Feisal~
ALI
(mounts and calls back)
He was a Hazimi of the Beni Salem. The
Beni Salem are blood enemies to the Harith.
They may not drink at our wells.
(shrugs)
He knew that.
ALI raises his head in salute and turns his camel back on to the
mud flat.
LAWRENCE
{calling after him)
Sherif Ali~ So long as the Arabs fight
tribe against tribe, so long will they be
a little people. r-----·
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LAWRENCE
A silly people! Greedy, barbarous,
and cruel - as you are! 33
ALI rides out of picture, leaving the screen filled with blue sky.
Music begins. The CAMERA pans downwards revealing a different
location - a barren desert landscape, across which LAWRENCE is·
riding, leading T AF AS' empty camel behind him.
DISSOLVE TO
108 EXTREME LONG SHOT. LAWRENCE and his two camels have now
entered an area of spectacular and magnificent scenery. High red
cliffs tower above sparkling white sand and give the .landscape an
atmosphere of incredible grandeur and beauty.
109 MED. SHOT. The CAMERA pans down a great face of rock,
following the echo, and comes to rest on a; CLOSE SHOT of a MAN
dressed in the uniform of a British Colonel. He is sitting on a
boulder, watching. His cam.el grazes a few yards behind.
110 LONG SHOT. The distant figures of LAWRENCE and his two
camels from the COLONEL's viewpoint.
111 CLOSE SHOT.. LAWRENCE hears a parade-ground voice shouting
his name. He halts his camel and looks around. From the shadow
of the rocks in the far back ground, the figure of the COLONEL,
now mounted on a camel, comes out into the sunlight.
DISSOLVE TO
112 MED. SHOT_. · The CAMERA pans with the COLONEL as he trots
his camel over to join LAWRENCE. He is very military, but .
intelligent and hard-bitten. When he speaks it is rapidly, as a man
who knows his own mind and has something on it. His name is
BRIGHT ON. He rides up alongside LAWRENCE into a TWO SHOT.
BRIGHTON
(hostile)
I've been waiting for you.
LAWRENCE
(surprised)
Did you know I was coming?
BRIGHTON
I knew someone was' coming. Feisal told me.
j it>
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LAWRENCE
(interested)
How did he know?
BRIGHTON
Not much happens within fifty miles of
Feisal that Feisal doesn't know. I'll give
him that. No escort?
LAWRENCE
My guide was killed at the Matsurah We~l.
Turks? BRIGHTON
(alert)
LAWRENCE
No, an Arab.
BRIGHTON
(with real distast~, gloomy)
Bloody savages .••
LAWRENCE
(cool)
This is Wadi Safra isn't it?
BRIGHTON
Yes, they're over there.
(indicating with a jerk of
the head an evident declivity
into which we cannot see.
Then, as LAWRENCE is
eagerly about to move
forward, he checks him
flatly)
Just one moment, Lawrence.
(irritably curious; his
sense of professional
etiquette is outraged)
Now - who sent you?
LAWRENCE
I've been seconded to the Arab Bureau.
0-o-oh. BRIGHTON
(his face clears. This
has explained all) 34 (
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BRIGHTON (Cont)
(the exclamation demonstrates
his relief that LAWRENCE is
in such a weak position as that)
And what are you to do for the Arab Bureau?
(a thousand Mess Room jokes
are his authority for this attitude of patronizing
amusement)
LAWRENCE
( explicitly earnest and
polite in.ratio to BRIGHTON'S
implicit rudeness)
It's rather vague actually, sir, I'm to
"appreciate the situation". 35
The parody of the Public School subaltern does not go unnoticed.
BRIGHTON looks at him cautiously, but LAWRENCE's face is
studiously innocent.
BRIGHTON
(grunts)
That won't be difficult, the situation's
bloody awful.
(he digs irritably in the
sand with a bit of stick)
Their morale - if they ever had any morale,
which I doubt - the Turks knocked it out of
them in front of Medina, .
(the irritation is replaced
· by abro·oding sadness)
with howitzers. They're fading away by
dozens every night. And what I want to
say to you is this:
(he recites with considerable
dignity his simple creed)
Wherever you are, and whoever you are "with"
you are a British Serving Officer. And here's
an order. When we get into that camp,, you '11
keep your mouth - shut. D'you understand
what I'm saying?
LAWRENCE
(cheerfully)
Yes sir, I understand what you're saying.
(it is impudently equivocal,
and has no trace of obedience) ,-.
()
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.•·o 112 Continued
BRIGHTON
(crisply, throwing away his
stick and preparing to rise) 36
You'll make your appreciation and get back to -
And then, crouched springily on his heels, he freezes and breaks off
and the vitality drains from his face. The organ note of low flying
aircraft approaches and his eyes are haunted as he utters the trench
soldier's prayer.
BRIGHTON
Oh my God, not again ...
The noise gathers, two explosions set the cliffs thundering.
BRIGHTON and LAWRENCE rush to control their panic-stricken
animals and look up as:
113 LONG SHOT. A Turkish bi-plane shoots upwards from behind a
cliff, climbing steeply. The CAMERA pans with it as it roars
overhead and banks into a sharp turn.
114 CLOSE UP. BRIGHTON and LAWRENCE turn around as they hear
the sound of a second engine.
115 LONG SHOT. Another plane roars over the cliff-top.
116 CLOSE SHOT. The camels buck and rear. BRIGHTON gets his
under control, then LAWRENCE, who is looking up at: ·
117 LONG SHOT. The first plane completes its turn and goes into a
shallow dive. The CAMERA pans with it until it disappears behind
the cliff.
118 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE and BRIGHTON riding for
the camp. BRIGHTON is talking vehemently - to himself rather than LAWRENCE - and glaring straight ahead .
BRIGHTON
I've told him! God knows I've told him!
"Move South" I've said, "You' re still in
range~" They simply will not realize
what modern weapons do!
119 LONG SHOT. The screen is obscured by a cloud of drifting smoke
and dust. As it clears, a large Bedouin camp of some one hundred
black tents is disclosed - now a scene of absolute pandemonium and
chaos .
.A mid the casualties, MEN struggle to recapture loose
animals and WOMEN search for their children, while chickens, goats
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119 Continued
and donkeys stampede among the tents. There is the sound of the
second plane screaming down in a dive. The · HUMANS freeze
where they stand, and look up.
120 LONG SHOT. The diving plane.
121 MED. SHOT. BEDOUINS scatter to left and right - out of the way of
the bombing run.
122 MED. SHOT. The plane swoops overhead. A bomb plummets
downwards.
123 MED. SHOT. A tent disappears inrthe flash of an explosion.
124 MED. SHOT. The plane .sweeps away over a dune. Its shadow
races up to meet it on the crest and it vanishes over the top.
125 MED. SHOT. Frightened BEDOUINS stagger against a curtain of
drifting black smoke. · As it begins to clear, a prophet-like
FIGURE mounted on a white horse comes riding out from the darkness,
This is FEISAL. He ·rides towards CAMERA against the stream of
MEN and animals, wheeling his horse in an effort to calm the panic.
He shouts as he rides.
FEISAL
Stand and fight~
The CAMERA tracks with him as he shakes his rifle at the sky.
FEISAL
Fire back at them~
126 MED. SHOT. · The first plane, now very low, comes diving in
over the dune.
··· I27 CLOSE SHOT. FEISAL raises his rifle.
128 MED. SHOT. A flash of the plane as its machine-gun opens fire.
129 CLOSE SHOT. FEISAL shoots vainly at the sky as the noise of the
engine deaf ens him, a line of bullets lash the sand behind him, and
the black shadow of the plan.~ sweeps over and leaves him before he
can turn to shoot again.
130 LONG SHOT. The plane sweeps away over the dust-laden camp,
its machine gun .firing among the panicked BEDOUINS, who run in
every direction. C
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131 CLOSE SHOT. FEISAL, his pale face contorted with rage, shakes
his rifle at the retreating plane in an impotent gesture of defiance.
The approaching drone of the second plane makes him turn. The
machine gun opens fire. His horse rears.
132 MED. SHOT. A flash of the plane, its gun blazing.
133 MED.SHOT .. The shadow of the plane sweeps across the sand.
FEISAL -beats his mare into a gallop and, flat out, his white robes
streaming behind him, he chases the dark shadow in a mad and
hopeless race. As the plane rapidly draws away he pulls up his
horse.
134 CLOSE SHOT. Surrounded by swirling dust, FEISAL is a noble and
tragic figure as he sits bolt upright on his trembling foam-flecked
mare staring after the plane.
135 LONG SHOT. The two planes fly away into the distance.
136 CLOSE SHOT. As the drone of the planes dies away, so FEISAL
droops in the saddle. In the background the shattered camp stirs to
life. MEN and WOMEN run to and fro, swiftly loading their belong
ings onto pack-camels. FEISAL is absorbed in his own despair,
gazing down at the ground. After a few moments he braces himself as one who prepares to shoulder once again
an intolerable burden.
He throws back his head and assumes a public face, but at once his gaze is arrested.
137 CLOSE SHOT.. LAWRENCE looks down at him from a blank blue
frame,
with compassion certainly but more, with devouring interest.
138 CLOSE SHOT. FEISAL looks up at him; his head slightly tilts,
enquiringly.
FEISAL
(straight-forwardly
interrogative - no "significance" please)
Who are you?
139 CLOSE SHOT. BRIGHTON in a blue frame.
BRIGHTON
Lieutenant Lawrence, sir, seconded to
the Arab Bureau. This is
a bloody mess
sir. We'll have to move south -
140 CLOSE SHOT. FEISAL looking up at BRIGHTON. He interrupts
with the savagery of his self-reproach. I
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FEISAL
Yes, yes, Colonel - fifty miles south -
you were right and I was wrong.
(his gaze shifts; he is
looking at LAWRENCE
and as though to him
he says)
We must take some thought for the wounded ..• 39
141 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE as before. On SOUND TRACK
BRIGHTON says:
BRIGHTON (Over)
We can take care of them at Yenbo sir.
FETSAL (Over)
If they can get to Yenbo.
BRIGHTON (Over)
(impatient)
They can hardly come with us sir~
142 CLOSE SHOT. FEISAL looking up as before.
FEJSAL
No. They must try to reach Yenbo.
. . . Lieutenant - ?
143 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE as before.
LAWRENCE
Lawrence •..
144 MED. SHOT. THE THREE
FEISAL
You understand Lieutenant Lawrence
my people are ... unused to explosives
and . . . machines . . .
(he gazes about)
First the guns • . • now this ...
He is suddenly choked with emotion, turns on his heels and goes
towards the scattered tents, walking. An ARAB takes his horse which he has forgotten, and leads it after him. ,---- ~
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d 40
145 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and BRIGHTON. LAWRENCE looking
after FEISAL: BRIGHTON looks at LAWRENCE, uneasily, and
frowns.
DISSOLVE TO
146 EXTREME LONG SHOT. NIGHT. A great Bedouin caravan, with
their flocks and herds, winds out from the high cliffs and rocks into
the open desert.
DISSOLVE TO
147 LONG SHOT. DAY. The caravan is now sprawled out over a
bleak and featureless terrain.
148 MED. TRACKING SHOT. BRIGHTON AND CORPORAL JENKINS,
his orderly, are riding several yards in front of LAWRENCE, who,
with a map case on his knee, is noting the course of the caravan.
Surrounding the three EUROPEANS is a moving mass of goats,
sheep, camels, WOMEN on.foot and in howdahs, CHILDREN,
WARRIORS, and baggage camels -a Biblical scene of Exodus.
149 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE raises the compass to his eyes and looks
through it.
150 MED. SHOT. As seen through the markings of the compass the
CAMERA tracks behind the upright figure of FEISAL mounted on
his white mare and flanked by his two negro SLAVES and a
STANDARD BEARER.
151 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE lowers the compass and marks a position
on the map. Hearing a sudden burst of shouting and laughter he
looks up.
152 MED. TRACKING SHOT. From behind a forest of marching camel
legs an infuriated GOATHERD is shouting at two BOYS in the fore
ground of picture. One of the BOYS is trying to· ride a bucking and
protesting ram, while the other, roaring with laughter, is trying to
keep him on. The ram eventually throws the RIDER on to the
ground just as the GOATHERD springs out and proceeds to lay about
them both with his stick. The -BOYS escape among the camels only
to be met by another series of blows from the RIDERS. The
CAMERA tracks with them down the line until they finally reach a
peaceful haven beside LAWREN<;E. For a few paces they march in
silence rubbing their tender backs, then, with a winning smile,
DAUD, the tougher of the two, looks up at LAWRENCE.
DAUD
(miming)
Cigarette?
.. ·---. ---------·-··-•··- -. ·······--~ C)
()
~--)
(" 152 Continued
Sorry. LAWRENCE
(smiles)
(he spreads his hands.
Then returns to his map) 41
DAUD looks up, interested, but the other imp, FARRAJ, nudges him
and points to the two RIDERS ahead. They run forward out of the
picture.
153 MED. TRACKING SHOT. BRIGHTON and JENKINS. The two BOYS
appear on either side of JENKINS' camel.
DAUD
Cigarette, your excellency?
JENKINS
'Umph off~
FARRAJ looks up at the CORPORAL with his soft swimming eyes,
and raises his hands in a gesture of prayer.
FARRAJ
Please, your excellency. Just one for two.
The CORPORAL relents and throws down a cigarette packet. The
BOYS leap on it, only to find that it is empty. The CORPORAL
laughs. There is an exchange of looks between the two BOYS, and
the CAMERA drops back with them as they take up a position
immediately behind the CORPORAL's camel. With the deftness of
long practice, FARRAJ daintily lifts the camel's tail and DAUD
rams his stick home. The camel roars and takes off.
154 CLOSE SHOT. BRIGHTON, shouting after the CORPORAL.
BRIGHTON
Hold it, Jenkins~
155 CLOSE SHOT. JENKINS falls to the ground with a thud.
156 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD and FARRAJ walking along with studied
· innocence. They hear someone laughing and turn.-
157 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE sees the two imps looking at him, and
checks his laughter.
158 MED. SHOT. Taking advantage of his appreciation, the two
BOYS fall in beside LA WREN CE' s camel. r-·-·····
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DAUD
Aurens?
LAWRENCE
Aurens.
DAUD
You have no orderly.
LAWRENCE
I don't need an orderly.
FARRAJ
(considers this)
No? We can do everything - light fires -
cook food - wash clothes -
DAUD
- yes everything.
FARRAJ
It will be very nice for you.
LAWRENCE
I can't afford it. 42
This is unanswerable. The BOYS grimace sympathetically and
LAWRENCE urges his camel forward out of picture. We stay on
the two BOYS looking about for fresh worlds to conquer.
DISSOLVE TO
159 LONG SHOT. SUNSET. The new camp has been set up beneath a
protecting ring of smooth rocks and high banks of sand at the edge of
a remote plateau. The smoke of the fires rises straight into the air 1
and-one by one, lights appear in the largest and most central of th~
Bedouin tents. On the heights above the camp, the tiny figures of
SENTRIES are silhouetted against the soft glow of the sunset. It is a
scene of great tranquility after the noise and bustle of the previous
sequences. ·
160 LONG SHOT. From their angle, the camp.
161 MED. SHOT. INT. FEISAL's tent. Though large, it is a plain
black tent like the others, very sparsely "furnished", though a carpet
is essential. Present are FEISAL, BRIGHTON, LAWRENCE and the
RECITER, to whom they are listening, BRIGHTON with a gentlemanly
self-control which shrieks impatience, FEISAL head back, eyes
closed, LAWRENCE head down, face hidden. ,,-" . ( )
:0 •.•·
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RECITER
· Recite then as much of the Koran as may
be easy to you. God knoweth that there
be some among you sick while others travel
through the earth and others do battle in His
cause. Recite therefore as much as may be
easy. And seek ye forgiveness of God.
Verily God is forgiving, merciful. 43
During this recital (which can of course be lengthened or shortened as
necessary) ALI enters back to CAMERA seen by FEISAL whose eyes
flick open, unseen by LAWRENCE or BRIGHTON, who face FEISAL.
When the recital is finished.
FEISAL
Greetings, Ali.
LAWRENCE and BRIGHTON turn surprised, LAWRENCE's expression
changes. With him, we recognize ALI.
ALI
(salaaming to FEJSAL)
My lord.
Sherif. BRIGHTON
(a curt greeting)
ALI salaams silently to BRIGHTON. His hostile eyes return to
LAWRENCE. FEISAL claps·his hands. ALI sits, not taking his eyes
from .LAWRENCE.
FEISAL
Lieutenant Lawrence, you have met
Sherif Ali, I think.
LAWRENCE
(very dry)
Yes my lord.
In answer to FEISAL' s clap a SERVANT appears and serves ALI
with coffee, while:
FEISAL
And now Selim, "The Brightness". 'O
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RECITER
By the noon day brightness and by the
night when it darkeneth, thy Lord hath
not forsaken thee neither hath He been
displeased. 44
BRIGHTON exhibits impatience when the RECITER recommences.
FEISAL, seeing this, smiles gently, lays a hand on the RECITER's
wrist and finishes for him:
FEISAL
And surely the future shall be better for
thee than the past -
LAWR~NCE
- And in the end shall your Lord be bounteous
to thee and thou be satisfied.
162 REACTION SHOT.
pleased. BRIGHTON surprised, FEISAL surprised and
FEISAL
(looking at LAWRENCE}
So?
163 REACTION SHOT. ALI's eyes flick suspiciously from FEISAL to
LAWRENCE, they smiling at one another. FEISAL takes in ALI,
rampant Bedouin, BRIGHTON, European couchant. He sighs.
FEISAL
Yes, Colonel.
BRIGHTON
I want a decision, sir.
FEISAL
You want me to fall back on Yenbo,
Colonel.
BRIGHTON
Well you're not doing much good here
sir~ • • . Sorry to rub it in sir, but -
(bursting out;· he has
been over this ground
a dozen times)
We can't supply you here sir~
FEISAL
You could supply us through Akaba ~ 0
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0 163 Continued
BRIGHTON
(astonished)
Akaba!
(angry)
Oh well if you can get hold of Akaba sir
of course we can supply you. But you
can't~
FEISAL
You could.
BRIGHTON
(incredulous)
You mean the Navy? The Turks have
twelve inch guns at Akaba sir - can you
imagine what that means?
FEISAL
(heavily; dejected)
Twelve inches .. Yes, I can imagine.
BRIGHTON
(more gently)
Put that out of your mind sir; the Navy's
got other things to do.
FEISAL
Ah yes. Protecting the Suez Canal.
BRIGHTON
{as one who states
the obvious)
The one essential sector of this Front is
and must be the Canal. You see that sir,
surely?
FEISAL
I see that the Canal is an essential British
interest. It is of little consequence to us.
BRIGHTON
I must ask you not to talk like that. sir.
The British and Arab interests are one
and the same.
FEISAL
Possibly.
ALI laughs sharply. BRIGHTON is disgusted. ··~·--
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BRIGHTON
Upon my word sir you 're ungrateful.
Fall back on Yenbo and we will give you
equipment! We will give you arms,
advice, training, everything~
Guns? FEISAL
(quickly)
BRIGHTON
A modern rifle for every man.
FEISAL
(passionately)
No! Guns ! : Artillery! Guns like the
Turkish guns at Medina~
ALI
(lounging, sneering)
Yes; give us guns; and keep the training. -
BRIGHTON
Your men need training far more than
guns sir.
ALI
(laughs)
· The British will teach the Bedouin
how to fight?
BRIGHTON
We will teach them Sherif Ali, to fight
a modern mechanized army! 46
LAWRENCE makes an involuntary movement, suppresses Jt, but
FEISAL:
FEISAL
Lieutenant? What do you think of Yenbo?
LAWRENCE
I think it is far from Damascus.
FEISAL and ALI react to this. So does BRIGHTON, alarmed.
BRIGHTON
We'll have you in Damascus sir, never fear -,---·--
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FEISAL
(scanning LAWRENCE
with interest)
Have you been in Damas cu~, Mr. Lawrence?
..
LAWRENCE
Yes my lord.
FEISAL
It is beautiful, is it not?
LAWRENCE
Very. 47
Neither ALI nor BRIGHTON likes this rapport. ALI sits up, against
a pole; this STRANGER must be watched. BRIGHTON says, quietly
but compellingly:
BRIGHTON
That'll do, Lawrence.
(sternly, to FEISAL)
Dreaming won't get you to Damascus, sir.
(kindly, persuasively)
But discipline will.
While BRIGHTON goes on, cut to ALI and LAWRENCE in silent con
frontation, cutting back to BRIGHTON only for the last two beats:
BRIGHTON
Now look sir, Great Britain is a small
country - much smaller than yours.
Small population compared with some.
It's small but it's great. And why - ?
ALI
Because it has guns~
BRIGHTON
Because it has discipline!
FEISAL
Because it has a Navy. Because of this
the English go where they please and
strike where they please, and this makes
them great.
Right. LAWRENCE
(quietly)
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FEISAL looks to him again. At once the storm breaks.
BRIGHTON
Lawrence that'll do!
(quick, before FEISAL
can speak)
Lieutenant Lawrence is not your Military
Advisor sir~ -
FEISAL
But I should like to hear his opinion.
LAWRENCE opens his mouth. BRIGHTON jumps down it.
BRIGHTON
Goddammit Lawrence, from whom do you
take your orders?
RECITER
From Lord Feisal, in Feisal's tent.
ALI
Old fool! Why turn from him (Brighton)
to him? (Lawrence) They 'ar'e master and
man! 48
FEISAL remains absolutely unmoved, maintaining towards LAWRENCr:
an attitude of polite attention, LAWRENCE knows he is crossing the
Rubicon.
LAWRENCE
My lord . . . I think . • • I think your Book
is right.
(he points to the Koran.
FEISAL cocks his head
enquiringly)
"The desert is an ocean in which no oar
is dipped". And on this ocean the Bedu
go where they please and strike where
they please . . . This is the way the Bedu
has always fought ... You are famed
throughout the world for fighting in this
way. And this is the way you should
fight now.
ALI agrees with every word of this and is rendered trebly suspicious,
BRIGHTON can barely comprehend such atrocious insubordination. i
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BRIGHTON
(disgusted, as one
who gives up}
Well I don't know ...
LAWRENCE
(distressed)
I'm sorry sir - but you 're wrong~
(he turns to FEISAL)
Fall back on Yenbo sir and the Arab
Rising becomes one poor unit in the
British Army.
ALI
(wild with jealousy
and suspicion)
What is this to you?
BRIGHTON
Lawrence, do you know that you're a
traitor?
FEISAL
No no -he is a young man, Colonel, and
young men are passionate. They must
say their say; but wiser people must
decide. I know you are right.
BRIGHTON
(curtly)
Very well, sir, when shall we move?
The sooner the better sir, you'll lose
another fifty men tonight.
FEISAL
(stung)
You tread heavily . . . But you speak the
truth. I will give you my answer
tomorrow. And now
(he rises)
it is late. 49
It is the dismissal. All rise. BRIGHTON salutes. ALI salaams.
BRIGHTON politely ushers .ALI out before himself, but himself
precedes LAWRENCE. Just as LAWRENCE is following, FEISAL
makes him a discreet signal to remain. Outside in the dark,
BRIGHTON and ALI regard the tent flap, expecting LAWRENCE. I
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163 Continued
It dawns on them that he has been detained for a private audience.
They stare at one another. They turn, and make their separate
ways between the tents.
Inside the tent FEISAL and LAWRENCE both stand.
FEISAL
Colonel Brighton means to put my .men
under European Officers does he not?
LAWRENCE
In effect my lord, yes.
FEISAL
And I must do it, for the Turks have
European guns. But I fear to do it upon
my soul I do. The English have a great ·
hunger for desolate places, Lieutenant I
. fear they hunger for Arabia.
LAWRENCE
Then you must deny it to them.
FEISAL
You are an Englishman. Are you not
loyal to England?
LAWRENGE
(hesitates, smiles a
smile of intellectual, not
emotive humour)
To England and to other things.
But FEISAL will not play the intellectual game, though amply .
intellectual- for him the question is practical, and his expression is
serious as he draws up to LAWRENCE and says thoughtfully;
FEISAL
To ·England and Arabia both? And is
that possible ... ?
(he approaches LAWRENCE
closely and considers him.
He nods)
I think you are another of these desert
loving Englishmen -
(he walks away)'
Doughty, Stanhope, Gordon of Khartoum.
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FEISAL (Cont)
(he Jurns)
No Arab loves the desert. We love water
and green trees. There is nothing in the
desert. And no man needs nothing.-
(His tone changes from the
philosophic to the emotional)
••. or is it that you think we are something
you can play with because we are a little
people, a silly people; greedy, barbarous
and cruel?
(LAWRENCE looks
surprised)
But you know, Lieutenant, in the Arab
city of Cordova were two miles of public
lighting in the streets -when London was
a village!
LAWRENCE
Yes, you were great.
FEISAL
(dryly)
Nine centuries ago.
LAWRENCE
(mildly)
Time to be great again my Lord.
FEISAL
(stiffly)
Which is why my father made this war
upon the Turks - my father, Mr .. Lawrence,
not the English~
(he is suddenly overcome
by melancholy)
But my father is old and I -I long for the
vanished Gardens of Cordova ...
(sighs)
However, before the gardens must come
the fighting. 51
He indicates graciously the tent flap. They move over to it, and
FEISAL courteously holds it apart.
FEISAL
(with formal politenes 9,smiling) .
To be great again, it seems we need· the English or ...
{he shrugs)
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Or •.. ? LAWRENCE
(gently)
FEISAL
(looking out over the
silence encampment)
What no man can provide, Lieutenant.
We need a miracle.
FEISAL nods a polite goodnight, and LAWRENCE leaves. 52
164 CLOSE SHOT. Outside, LAWRENCE comes to a slow halt a few
yards from the tent. As he stands looking down at the ground in
deep thought, a slow dynamo-like theme begins on the SOUND TRACK.
An irritation crosses his mind, the music stops, and he looks up.
165 MED. SHOT. BRIG:E{TON's brightly lit army tent glowing out
among its neighbours.
166 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE's eyes return to the ground and the
music begins again, then, very slowly, he walks off in the opposite
direction.
167 MED. SHOT. FEISAL is sitting alone inside his tent. He looks up
towards the tent flap trying to collect his curiously conflicting thoughts
about the young man outside.
168 CLOSE SHOT. A set of moonlit footprints in clean sand. The
dynamo theme takes on an overtone of mysticism as the CAMERA
pans upwards following the footprints, and we see the dark outline
of LAWRENCE's back as he strolls slowly in deep thought towards
the open desert.
169 LONG SHOT. Two small FIGURES scamper along a sandy ridge.
On reaching the end of a promontory, they stop.
170 CLOSE UP. FARRAJ and DAUD squat into picture, looking
downwards with curiosity.
171 LONG SHOT. The small figure of LAWRENCE walking in the desert
below. He comes to a stop with his hands in his pockets.
172 CLOSE UP. The two IMPS look down;, puzzled.
173 LONG SHOT. The dark figure of LAWRENCE, standing in deep
concentration, outlined aga:inst the brilliant white of the moonlit
········~ r-------
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173 Continued
desert. The dynamic theme increases in intensity, and LAWRENCE
begins to wander off in another direction.
DISSOLVE TO
174 MEDIUM SHOT: A dawn sky. LAWRENCE is standing quite still,
oblivious of the two BOYS who squat down only a few yards above him.
175 CLOSE UP: The IMPS sit patiently watching LAWRENCE like two
dogs watching their master. Then DAUD picks up a jagged stone of
some bright colour and suggests in pantomime that he throw it down
towards LAWRENCE. FARRAJ shakes his head, but unable to
restrain liimself, DAUD gently lobs it out of picture.
176 MEDIUM SHOT: The stone lands at LAWRENCE's feet. At first he
seems not to notice it, but then, without interrupting his concentra.:
tion, he aimlessly picks up the stone, bounces it up and down in the
palm of his hand, and walks slowly away. The IMPS get up and run
out of picture.
DISSOLVE
177 LONG SHOT: DAY. LAWRENCE is sitting under a stunted desert
tree. One of the BOYS sits before him, the OTHER is busy behind
him. Apart from this tiny group, the frame is completely empty,
above, below, and to either side.
178 MEDIUM.SHOT: The SAME. FARRAJ is hanging an odd piece of
cloth in the branches so that LAWRENCE's head is shaded. Three or
fo·ur yards in front of LAWRENCE, with his back to camera, sits DAUD - also cross"'.legged - watching him as he continues playing
with
the stone. FARRAJ comes and sits down near to DAUD, so that
LAWRENCE is framed between the backs of the two BOYS. The
CAMERA starts to creep in towards LAWRENCE. The music,
which has never stopped, builds up and up. LAWRENCE begins to
hold the stone so tightly that his fist vibrates with the unconscious
effort. He looks directly up at the two BOYS, but his eyes are
focused on the distance and he is not really seeing them.
179 CLOSE UP: The IMPS stare back. They don't know why, but they
are rather frightened.
180 CLOSE UP: LAWRENCE. The music stops. There is a pause.
Akaba. LAWRENCE
(quietly} - I. I
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0 181 CLOSE UP: The two :SOYS don't understand.
182-MEDIUM SHOT: LAWRENCE and the BOYS.
183
LAWRENCE
Akaba - from the land~ 54
He comes to and chucks the stone at the .. BOYS. DAUD catches it,
then looks up in surprise and points to LAWRENCE'S hand. It is
bleeding. LAWRENCE licks his palm mechanically, and above his
hand we see his gaze is no -longer inwards but outwards and actively
excited. He gets to his feet. Exciting, whirling music begins. The
CAMERA PANS and TRACKS with LAWRENCE as he walks ·away
from the three. The two BOYS follow close behind. LAWRENCE
walks faster and faster until he is running - as a man runs who has
a specific destination. The music builds. The camp appears in the
background and the run becomes a race. LAWRENCE disappears
among the tents, and the BOYS put on a spurt but DAUD trips over a
root and goes sprawling, and MUSIC stops when:
CUT TO
184 CLOSE SHOT ALI
ALI
You are mad. To come to Akaba by land
we should have to cross the Nefud.
LAWRENCE
That's right.
ALIA
The Nefud cannot be crossed.
LAWRENCE
I'll cross it if you will.
ALI
(surprised)
You? It takes more than a compass,
Englishman.
(LAWRENCE does
not flicker) '
The Nefud is the worst place God created~
LAWRENCE
Oh I can't answer for the place. Only
for myself.
ALI begins to be fascinated. LAWRENCE drives·on:
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0 184 Continued
LAWRENCE
Fifty men?
ALI
Fifty,. against Akaba?
LAWRENCE
If fifty men came out of the Nefud, they
would be fifty men that other men might
join.
(lightly)
The Howeitat are there I hear.
ALI
(promptly)
The Howeitat are brigands; they will
sell themselves to anyone.
LAWRENCE
Good fighters·: though·.
ALI
Good, yes ...
{bursts out)
There are guns at Akaba.
LAWRENCE
They face the sea Ali. And they cannot
be turned round. From the landward
side there are no guns at Akaba.
ALI
With good reason~ It cannot be. approached
from the landward side!
LAWRENCE
Certainly the Turks do not dream of it.
He turns and points to the horizon.
185 LONG SHOT of this while he says on SOUND TRACK.
LAWRENCE
Akaba's over there Ali. It's only a
matter of going. 55 , (,
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0 186 CLOSE SHOT ALI
ALI
(with horror and
unwilling respect)
You are mad! 56
DISSOLVE TO
187 A ROCKY OUTCROP. Grey dawn. LAWRENCE burdened with
pistol, bandolier and saddlebags is striding round the edge of it.
In the background, at a distance, is the camp with smoke
ascending from one or two early fires, but no other sign of life.
Except, that is, when LAWRENCE looks over his shoulder to make
sure he has been been seen, and:
188 LONG SHOT. DAUD and FARRAJ are following.
189 CLOSE SHOT. LA WR.ENCE does not look at all pleased or
charmed, but he accepts the phenomenom as a sensible man
accepts flies, that is without pleasure but also without flap; and
skirting the curve of the outcrop he sees:
190 LONG SHOT. The RAIDING PARTY making its last minute
preparations. Some of the camels are being loaded, some are
already rearing to go; the atmosphere is as tense and technical
as in a Grand Prix racing pit, exceptthat there is no shouting - on
the contrary all is done very quietly. LA WR.ENCE pauses to take
in the scene and FEISAL steps out of the shelter of the rock.
FEISAL
(smiles, but rather
faintly and -searchingly)
And where are you going, Lieutenant -
with fifty of my men?
LAWRENCE
(smiling)
To work your miracle.
FEISAL
Blasphemy.
(he walks LAWRENCE into
and through the RAIDING
PARTY, knowing where
LAWRENCE's camel is,
CMIERA tracking)
is a bad beginning to such a journey. I , (
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0 190 Continued
LAWRENCE
Who told you?
FEISAL
Ali did. Why not you?
LAWRENCE
(it is a bit awkward.
He shifts his bags from
one hand to the other)
You are falling back, on Yenbo, sir.
FEISAL
(glances at him side
long, muttering)
Yes, yes, I must .... But I will spare
these to you. 57
They have arrived at LAWRENCE's camel; ALI is by it, busy with
his own. He looks at LAWRENCE but makes no greeting, defensive
aggressive.
FEISAL
Did Ali break confidence, to tell me?
Before LAWRENCE can answer FEISAL holds up a hand and listens.
Quietness falls all about. The distant Muezzin is heard from the
camp and with a single wave-like rustling, all but LAWRENCE are
kneeling towards Mecca. He looks about; we see what he sees;
then he busies himself quietly with his bags. When the prayer is
ended ALI is the first to rise, and again he and LAWRENCE
exchange their defensive-aggressive stare. FEISAL rises last.
LAWRENCE
Sherif Ali owes you his allegiance,
my lord.
(he gets into the saddle)
FEISAL
(searchingly)
Yet you did not tell Colonel Brighton.
LAWRENCE
(inexpressively)
No.
(he gets into the saddle) I
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191 LONG SHOT. DAUD and FARRAJ hang off the RAIDING PARTY,
wistfully.
192 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE looks down into the CAMERA.from his
camel, which has risen, and behind we see ALI and OTHERS
sim~larly risen.
LAWRENCE
(smiling)
Since you do know; we can claim
to ride in the name of Feisal of Mecca.
193 CLOSE SHOT. FEISAL
FEISAL
(looking upwards, from
LAWRENCE's angle)
Yes, Lieutenant Lawrence, you may
claim it .. But in whose name do you
ride?
194 CUT SHARPLY, with l\iIUSIC quite loud, to the head and shoulders
of LAWRENCE, riding; broad day. His expression is that of an
excited young man who nevertheless controls himself. As he rides
he slightly turns his head from left to right, trying to see what is
behind him without overtly turning round. The MUSIC _gathers
yet more force. Finally he is unable to overcome the temptation and
twists right round in the saddle.
195 MED. SHOT. What he sees: (And with a crash the theme fills to
full pitch) The RAIDING PARTY strung out four abreast behind him.
196 CLOSE.UP TRACKING. ALI and LAWRENCE. LAWRENCE turns
to the front again, his eyes blazing. He straightens himself in the
saddle and erects his head. His face is stiffened with disciplined
ecstasy. ALI has been watching him: he smiles sardonically.
197 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. The CAMERA now starts to move down
the line of RIDERS, introducing each in turn as they pass through
the shot trotting a little faster than the CAMERA. · First come
ALI's two NEGRO SLAVES, magnificent in their red-tipped costumes.
Then banners, followed by exotic faces, fiercely and seriously con
centrated ahead. Last of all come the baggage camels, laden with
food and rolled-up tents. We see, individually, GASIM, a shifty,
cheerful, undersized and impoverished Bedouin, the ELDER HARITH,
a middle-aged and well-equipped warrior with a calm strong face,
and MAJID a willowy young Ageyli with splendid clothes, made-up
eyes and an elegant manner, but a dashing rider and most seriously
armed. • i
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.198 LONG SHOT TRACKING. For the first time we see the RAIDING
PAR TY as a whole. The CAMERA follows it for quite some time
as it weaves its way through the multi-coloured sands and rocks.
ALI raises his camel stick pointing out a change of direction away
from CAMERA. The MUSIC grows fainter and fainter as the
RAIDERS draw away leaving a cloud of dust behind them.· ...
199 MED. SHOT. Round the corner of a hillock we have just passed, a
single and rather mangy camel appears with two RIDERS. As the
animal is brought to a halt we recognise FARRAJ and DAUD. DAUD
is in front with FARRAJ mounted pillion-fashion behind him, his
hands clasped around DAUD's waist. The two IMPS furtively watch
the desert ahead.
200 LONG SHOT. From their viewpoint we see the receding column
of dust sent up by the RAIDING PARTY.
201 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD and FARRAJ. They wait for a few seconds,
then DAUD gives their camel a smart whack and CAMERA pans
with them as they trot off across the desert plain.
DISSOLVE
202 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD and FARRAJ, hidden behind a fold in the
ground. Late afternoon. On their bellies, they munch some
unappetizing and crumbly food. By their sides we see their water can ~
not a proper one, but improvised from an old tin - empty. They are
looking off screen, yearningly. On SOUND TRACK we hear distant
cheerful voices and the roar of a camel. DAUD essays another
mouthful of the dry stuff; chewing mechanically and half-heartedly,
crumbs falling heedless from his lips, he gazes off fascinated, at:
I
203 MEDIUM SHOT. The glittering water of a palm-fringed oasis. The
Raiders (their voices now suddenly loud on SOUND TRACK) are
preparing for the night in high good humour, the sadness of parting
over and the hard part of the journey not yet begun. The water
occupies most of the screen, the men .merely a human fringe at its
periphery. They drink, call to one another, drink, pour water on
their heads, splash, dabble their hands, or merely smile at their
own reflections. A fire is kindled food is in the offing. But above
all there is water.
204 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD and FARRAJ as before, looking off (the
voices distant again). They look at one another hesitantly. Look
off again. With determination DAUD seizes the can. They slither down the reverse slope.
205 CLOSE SHOT. In the oasis LAWRENCE is wringing out a spare
army singlet, crouching, watched by ALI who lounges at a little
distance from him. LAWRENCE is ~ware of ALI's regard. On
SOUND TRACK, raised voices. LAWRENCE looks up, merely
~ ..... ~ ..... ,. AT .T ~lA-rt.
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206 CLOSE MOVING SHOT. GASIM is coming through the palm trees
with DAUD and FARRAJ. He has DAUD by a handful of his thick
hair and FARRAJ by the ear. GASIM is delighted to be the centre
of attention and gives DAUD a rough shake now and then, and DAUD
plays up with clowning and affected fear. But F ARR,AJ is in pain and
his dignity off ended and has set his face dis obligingly. The Raiders
• laugh and applaud. These are known characters evidently.
207 LAWRENCE and ALI. LAWRENCE as before but ALI is standing.
GASIM comes on frame and throws down his captives. One or two of
the others have followed.
GASIM
I caught them Sherif. They have tracked
us. They were here.
{with an ingratiating
nod to LAWRENCE)
I caught them.
ALI picks up his camel whip .
. ALI
Why are you here? Boy.
He pushes FARRAJ with his foot.
FARRAJ
To serve Lord Aurens, Sherif.
DAUD, having improved the moment by surreptitiously snatching a
handful of water, nods cheerfully at LAWRENCE. ALI looks at
LAWRENCE-sardonically. LAWRENCE is attracted to the boys but
senses that the situation holds trouble for him.. He will have no
part of them, and looks away as one bored or one who will have no
concern in something no concern of ~is. . ,
GASIM
(anxious to be indispensable)'
That is true, Aurens. They do wish it.
He turns for confirmation to the others, but LAWRENCE again looks
away, unconcerned, and doesn't even seem to hear what follows.
ALI
You have been tracking us •
(he looks uneasily over the
horizon. He twitches his whip)
You were told to stay~
FARRAJ
No Sherif, our camel strayed. We followed her. i
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DAUD
(solemnly)
She led us here to be Lord Auren's servants.
(looking at LAWRENCE)
It is the will of Allah.
ALI
(technically, not angrily)
Blasphemy. 61
He brings the whip down hard on DAUD's shoulders. At once
LAWRENCE loo~s up.
LAWRENCE
Don't do that.
Immediate silence. He rises. He is hesitating. GASIM steps in to
save him from a social blunder.
GASIM
Oh these are not servants Aurens - these
are ... outcasts, parentless ...
(he ~hrugs, not expressing
·pity but on the contrary
apologising for such creatures)
ALI
. (shortly)
Be warned. They are not suitable.
LAWRENCE
They sound very suitable . . . You. can
ride with the baggage.
They are at his feet, touching head and heart. ALI stalks away
disgustedly, turning only to say:
ALI
These are not servants, these are worshippers.
208 CLOSE-SHOT. LAWRENCE trades look for look .. On SOUND TRACK ..
DAUD
Aurens.
209 CLOSE SHOT. The boys are still kneeling. The other Raiders have
drifted away, but GASIM stands over them quite proprietorial, as
though this were what he had intended all along. We only see his
bottom half as we are looking down on the boys POV LAWRENCE.
DAUD is holding up one fing~r.
DAUD
One shilling every week?
GASIM (judicial) · That is fair.
~--·1 0
0
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:I 209 Continued
DAUD
(a quick glance at FARRAJ)
Each?
GASIM
(scandalised)
No that is too much!
LAWRENCE
All right. 62
With a nod and rather awkward smile, he moves away. GASIM looks
after him and calls (if possible from an empty uncluttered screen, so
that he has "significance".).
GASIM
They will be lucky for you!
(with the dreadful piety of a
thorough .. going sinner:)
Allah favours the compassionate!
CUT
210-The singing wires of the telegraph above the railway.
21S DISSOLVE TO
216 MED. LONG SHOT. A CRESTED DUNE. LAWRENCE and ALI appears
halt and look towards us. The MAIN PARTY appears and does the samr.
217 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and ALI
ALI
There is the railway and that - is the desert.
218 LONG SHOT. Beyond the railway a limitless vista of shining white.
ALI
(on SOUND TRACK)
From here until the other side, no water
but what we carry. For the camels, no
water at all. If the camels die, we die. And
in twenty days they will start to die.
219 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and ALI.
ALI
(sardonically polite as he triumphs
over LAWRENCE who stares ahead
of him)
You see?
LAWRENCE
(equally polite)
Yes. There1s no time to waste then, is there?
(and he moves forward)
220 MED. SHOT. From among the RAIDERS we follow LAWRENCE
down the slope; he crosses the line ahead of us and rides into the
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221 LOW GROUND SHOT. Along the line. The camels of the RAIDERS
cross, some close, others more distant seen between their moving
legs.
DISSOLVE TO
222 FIRST AERIAL SHOT. THE RAIDERS, not in precise formation, but
still quite well gathered, in a disjointed column, move over the plain.
Shot starts at the rear, moving forward and continues on into the plain.
DISSOLVE TO
223 LONG SHOT. A FEATURELESS DESERT WASTELAND. The
RAIDERS are spread out in no particular order, plodding on under a
high sun.
224 MED. SHOT. MEN and beasts are· exhausted. The RlpERS jerk up
and down like sacks.
225 MED. SHOT. Another angle.
226 MED. SHOT. Still another angle - building a sense of monotony.
227 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. ALI, followed by his 'TWO SERVANTS.
The SERVANTS tired, ALI alert. He looks over at:
228 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE followed by FARRAJ and
DAUD. LAWRENCE's eyes are fixed dreamily on:
229 MED. SHOT TRACKING. A DUST DEVIL twisting and turning
across the desert floor.
230 CLOSE UP TRACKING: LAWRENCE bobbing monotonously up and
down. His half-closed eyes follow the dust devil downwards.
231 CLOSE SHOT. The foot of the dust devil sucking the -ground in a
giddy spiral.
232 CLOSE UP TRACKING: LAWRENCE. He pulls himself together and
looks away from the dust devil to his own shadow.
233 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. His shadow jerking and flitting,
expanding and contracting on the desert floor.
234 · CLOSE UP TRACKING. LAWRENCE. His head jerks sleepily.
He is about to fall off. He.:jerks himself upright, but agit'in hi~
head nods forward. ALI comes up alongside,, smiles with grin'\
satisfaction, and pokes LAWRENCE with his stick. LAWRENCE
immediately opens his eyes, straightens.
LAWRENCE
(defensive}
I was thinking . r•--.
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234 Continued
ALI
(mockery)
You were drifting.
.LAWRENCE
Yes.
(his face is steely,
his voice rustling and
dry)
It will not happen again.
-ALI
(as before)
Be warned, you were drifting.
LAWRENCE
It will not happen again !
-DISSOLVE TO
235 A DIFFERENT TYPE OF "FEATURELESS" LANDSCAPE. (But
absence of feature, absence of colour must be common to all these
Trek sequences. ) Another HELICOPTER shot, but not aerial:
we are speeding over the flat ground towards the RAIDERS who
are now in much more open order, each MAN absorbed.in his own
suffering.
2S6 MED. TRACKING SHOTS. The ELDER HARITH unmoved, MAJID
ennobled, GASIM actively sorry for himself and hating his camel.
-237 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT LAWRENCE. He is looking away towards
his right, his sun-scorched face set in an artificial mask of indiffer
ence.
238 LONG SHOT. A Mm.AGE CF SPARKLING WATER. It .wavers and
comes nearer.
239 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE. He turns his head slowly
away to the left.
240 LONG SHOT. A DIFFERENT BUT SIMILAR MIB.AGE.
241 CLOSE TRACKING SliO'I'. LAWRENCE. He turns his head and
looks ahead.
242 LONG ShOT. · A THIRD MIRAGE; this time the corrupting illusion
is just a short n.m a·way.
243 MED. TRACKING SHOT LAWRENCE and ALI. ALI looks at I I l ('
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243 Continued
244 LAWRENCE, sarcastically amused. LAWRENCE turns away his
head with a rather weary frown, as one who is bothered by an
impertinently curious child. ALI' s face darkens.
DISSOLVE TO
MED. SHOT. A BIVOUAC. SUNSET. ALI "in bed". In background
all the OTHERS the same, except for LAWRENCE, who is shaving out
a spoonful of water , in a tin lid.
ALI
From now on we must travel by night.
And rest while it is too hot to travel.
A few hours each day.
(he watches the effect
of this)
LAWRENCE
(concentrating on his
shaving)
Mmm. Why don't we start now?
No, no.
(sweetly) ALI
We still rest now; three hours.
LAWRENCE
(goes on shaving)
Fine .. I'll wake you.
DISSOLVE TO
245 MED. LONG SHOT. NOON. At a distance from us the RAIDING
PARTY. We cannot see the MEN, merely the kneeling camels which
are scattered, in threes and fours and _individually. We begin to approac:
then
CUT TO
246 MED. SHOT THE SAME. In the tiny shadow afforded by each
camel cowers a motionless and shrouded MAN.
247 CLOSE SHOTS. THE CAMELS' HEADS AND FACES. Some of them
have gummy foam about their lips. i I _IQ
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248 CLOSE SHOT. ALI uncovers his head He looks up at the sun.
He rises. He rouses ELDER HARITB., who rouses LAWRENCE, who
looks round for ALI who is looking back at him. In the background
the OTHER:; begin to stir.
DISSOLVE TO
249 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. A camel's feet, slipping on a surface
of broken stones. CAMERA lifts to ALI .. He rides looking down.
His camel stumbles, stumbles again.
250 MED. LONG SHOT Other's of the RAIDER S , looking down anxiousl:.'
at their stumbling camel11s feet.
DISSOLVE TO
251 MED. AERIAL SHOT. The RAIDERS pick their way across a
wilderness of broken stones.
SHARP CUT TO
252 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. In brilliant clarity a camel goes over
sideways in a tumbling rush as though pole-axed, its .RIDER only
glimpsed as he is flung from his saddle.
CUT TO
253 MED. SHOT LAWRENCE, ELDER HARITH, GASIM, stunned into
immobility stand and look at the fallen beast, one leg of which is
kicking mechanically, but apart from that inert, and the bundle of
rag which is a MIDDLE-AGED ARAB. MAJID hobbles over to this,
straightens up, looks off at ALI, raising his hands a little.
254 MED. SHOT ALI turns and leads his beast on. MAJID follows
suit. As he does so she groans, and slobbers, distressfully jerking
her lead. ALI looks round at this, and he and MAJID exchange a serk
glance.
255 MED. SHOT DAUD and FAR.RAJ, in the rear, look .. back.
256 LONG SHOT THE CORPSES OF THE CAMEL AND THE MAN.
DISSOLVE TO
257 LONG SHOT Late afternoon on the edge of a mud flat, its shore
fringed by black boulders and rocks. The RAIDERS are dismounted
anyhow. One or two of the camels now on their sides instead of
kneeling. We see three BEDOUINS rubbing water on the tongue of
a camel which is at its last gasp. The last of them, ·two on a beast,
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257 Continued
258
259
260
261 are coming in. Their camel flounders to her knees. ELDER HARITH
and ALI, watching this, are joined by LAWRENCE, who swills in the
bottom of a m1.1g a few spoonsful of water.
LAWRENCE
Do we rest here?
ALI
(shortly)
I told you; when the camels die, we
die.
(he goes)
MAJID
There is no rest now, short of water, Aurens.
On the other side of that.
(nodding over the mud flat)
LONG SHOT The mud flat in the setting sun.
LAWRENCE
(on sound track)
How much of that is there?
CLOSE SHOT: MAJID
MAJID
I am not sure. But however much, it
must be crossed before tomorrow's
sun gets up.
(he smiles wryly)
This is the sun's anvil .
AERIAL SHOT. We see the tremendo.is scale of the flat as the RAIDERS
strike out across it from the encircling rocks. This should be the
biggest and bleakest eye-ful to date.
DISSOLVE TO
LONG SHOT NIGHT Faint moonlight, and the RAIDERS in a more
or less orderly line. The CAMERA begins to pan with them.
262 MED. TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE followed by FARRAJ and
DAUD~ .
263 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT: FARRAJ is nodding in the saddle.
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265
266 ' 68
CLOSE TRACKING SHQT. ALI at the head of the column. He is
awake and alert and his rifle rests across his saddle.
MED. TRACKING SHOT. THE BAGGAGE CAMELS . .:>0me of the
RIDERS have wedged themselves among the baggage and are asleep.
CLOSE UP TRACKING LAWRENCE. He shifts in the saddle taking up
a new position. He looks far.ward to:
267 CLOSE SHOT TRACKING . ALI'S back. Upright and erect.
268 CLOSE UP TRACKING. LAWRENCE.. With half an eye on ALI he
raises his arm to read ·his watch. This done he replaces it. A yawn
overtakes him. ·
269 CLOSE · SHOT TRACKING ALI' s back. He turns looking around the
GROUP, and turns back again.
DISSOLVE TO
270 LONG SHOT TRACKING. THE RAIDING PAitTY. The moon now -
casting long shadows.
271 CLOSE SHOT TRACKING The shadows bobbing up and down between
the camels'legs. The shot is held for several seconds -then there is a
cry, and a BODY falls among the shadows ..
272
273
274
275
276 CLOSE UP. The Fallen RIDER is FARRAJ. He sits up, shakes his
head, and gets up.
MED. SHOT LAWRENCE and DAUD have come to a halt. They wait
as FARRAJ runs forward to his camel and brings it to its knees.
Other camels pass on through the picture.·
CLOSE UP ALI. He too has come to a halt. He stares hard and
disapprovingly at what has happened, wheels about again and continues.
MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE and DAUD wait until FARRAJ remounts.
Tlrey move off together. .. -
LONG SHOT TRACKING. The RAIDERS :Plod on.
DISSOLVE TO ,-
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277 EXTREME LONG SHOT: DAYBREAK. The distant RIDERS are
approaching the sandy shore on the far side of the mud flat.
278 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE .and ALI, and ELDER HARITB
all looking down.
279 CLOSE .TRACKING SHOT. Their camels' feet leave hard·mud for
gravel.
280 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE, ALI, ELDER HAR.ITH
All are slumped, but look :relieved .
. ((;) LAWRENCE
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Have we done it?
ELDER HARITH
(~miles a little)
No, but we are off the anvil.
LAWRENCE
Thank God for that anyway ---
ELDER HARITH
Yes, thank Him, Aurens. I do .not think
you know how you have tempted him.
I know. LAWRENCE
(frowning)
(to ALI)
We've done it.
ALI
(even he cannot hide entirely
his relief. He shrugs.)'
God willing.
LAWRENCE
When do we get to the wells?
ALI
God-willing, mid-day.
LAWRENCE
Then we've done it!
DAUD rides up beside them. He is worried and apprehensive. ('--- ..
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70
() 280 Continued
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C DAUD
Aurens.
He points with his camel stick.
281 MEDIUM SHOT. A RIDERLESS CAMEL, saddled.
ALI (off)
Gasim's.
282 CLOSE SHOT. ALI and LAWRENCE stationary watched anxiously
by DAUD.
LAWRENCE
What's happened to him?
ALI
God knows.
He considers this, then impatiently urges his camel forward.
LAWRENCE follows, and the CAMERA TRACKS with them.
283 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT ALI and LAWRENCE
LAWRENCE
We must go back.
ALI
(scornfully)
What for, to die with Gasim?
(flatly) .
In two minutes comes the sun.
LAWRENCE stops his camel. ALI instantly stops too.
ALI
In God's name understand! We-can
not-go-back!
LAWRENCE
I can.
(pointing to the boys)
Take these.
LAWRENCE wheels his mount but ALI blocks his way.
ALI
If you go back you kill yourself is all· ..
Gasim you have killed already.
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LAWRENCE··
(quietly)
Get out of my way.
ELDER HARITH
(gently)
Gasim' s time is come Aurens.
(pointing to GASIM' s camel)
It is written .
LAWRENCE
(his voice and manner crammed
with occidental impatience and
contempt)
Nothing is "written." 71
He bursts between them. ALI goes alongside, not attempting any
longer to detain hi'll}, but incoherent with venom.
ALI
Go back! English! Blasphemer!
What then --- what? What did you bring us
here for --- with your blasphemous conceit?
Eh ---English blasphemer? Akaba? Was
it Akaba? You will not be at Akaba, English!
Go back, blasphemer, but you will not be at
Akaba! ·
This absolute loss of control yelled into LAWRENCE's face affords
him the most exquisite satisfaction --- It is victory. To drive the
point home, he turns his most amused, most donnish expression
upon his hated friend and says pleasantly:
LAWRENCE
I shall be at Akaba. That is written.
(points to his own head)
In here .
(he smiles with deliberate
milaness)
ALI stops and looks after him trembling; he casts about for the worst
word he can think of.
ALI
(howling after him)
English! .... Engli-i-ish!
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285
286 • 72
MEDIUM SHOT. ALrs viewpoint of LAWRENCE and his camel going
back across the flat.
CLOSE UP: FARRAJ and DAUD anxiously looking back at the retreating
figure of LAWRENCE
MED. SHOT ALI and his camel in foreground of picture with LAWRENCi·
in the background. ALI turns his anii;nal around and shouts towards
FAR.RAJ and DAUD as he angrily urges the beast forward.
-ALI
Get on! Get on!
287 LONG SHOT. The foreground of tp.e picture is composed of GASW's
riderless camel. In the background FAR.RAJ and DAUD tum their
animals roundand follow the RAIDERS onwards. ALI trots up to
the camel in foreground of picture and gives it a vicious lash with
his whip. The animal bounds forward and the CAMERA remains
on a shot of the sky. The sun has still not risen. The sounds of
the retreating raiders grow fainter and fainter. Silence.
288 EXTREME LONG SHOT. GASIM, a tiny figure, in the middle of the
mud flat. He is walking slowly but upright and steadily.
289 PRE-SUNRISE. The empty mud flat - theredglow of pre-dawn.
FOOTSTEPS. FEET enter and GASIM appears walking away from
camera 1-r.
290 FULL FIGURE TRACKING SHOT. GASIM looks fearfully to his left -
on the second look - cut to:
291 HIS EYEL.INE of the brightening sky.
292 TRACKING SHOT. KNEE FIGURE OF GASIM, he hastens to a fast
walk. Hold for several seconds. CUT TO:
293 THE TIP OF THE RISING SUN appears over the horizon.
294 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT: (waist figure) GASIM. He does not see the
sun. After a few seconds the sunlight flicks his face. He sees it and
then after a moment's hesitation, walks even faster.
294A TWO SHOT. GASIM and the SUN. (Half way up over the horizon -
in r. p. g.) GASIM hesitates in his walk, then subconsciously alters
his direction away from the sun and towards camera.
294B CLOSE SHOT. GASIM' 8 BACK. He hurries away from camera -
turns and looks over his shoulder at the sun. HIS SHADOW is
beginning to appear on the mud flat.
--------------- ---------------- ....... -... ... . ... -... ··---.... ____ _j ()
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294C CLOSE SHOT '..THE SUN BREAKING CLEAR of the horizon.
294D IilGH SHOT GASIM, moving away from camera, half breaks into a
run. LONG SHADOWS ahead of him now quite definite. As he
reaches EXTREME LONG SHOT he slows down.
294E CLOSE SHOT. Sadness overtakes GASIM. He stops and turns to
look at the sun humbly.
294F LONG SHOT. THE SUN now well clear of the horizon. GASIM:
stands looking at it. He turns and continues.
295 LONG SHOT, The distant Raiding party is moving away from CAMERA,
spread out over a bleak country away from the mud flat. The baggage
camels pass close by CAMERA. Some of the men are still .. tucked up
asleep. Some are doubled up. Behirid them comes a single camel
mounted by FARRAJ.
296 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. FARRAJ He is frightened. He glances
forward to the raiding party,· but mostly his looks are directed towards
the rear.
297 LONG SHOT. Shooting along the edge of the mud flat. A mounted
camel picks its way off the shore on the flat, them comes to a halt.
298 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD. He too is frightened. He looks back towards
the Raiding Party, and then forward.
299 LONG SHOT. The mud flat, now shining. No-one to be seen.
300 CLOSE UP DA UD. He settles down to wait. The drums.
301 LONG SHOT. The sun, now almost white.
302 CLOSE UP... GASIM. Weeping and nearly blindhe half. raises his
hands~ supplication. He gives in.
303 CLOSE SHOT. The small figure of GASIM sinks to the ground.
304 CLOSE SHOT. A trough of clear ·water with camels drinking.
305 MED. SHOT. The trough is beside a well around which some of the
RAIDERS are grouped, filling their bottles. In the background the bagga: ·
camels are still coming in.
306 CLOSE SHOT ALI, .FARRAJ,. and one or two other ARABS around
the well. r--------
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306 Continued
ALI
God be thanked.
{he drinks. )
ARAB
God be thanked.
(he drinks)
ANOTHER ARAB
God be thanked.
(he drinks)
FARRAJ takes a short drink and then turns away and the CAMERA
PANS with him on to a shot of his back. jie comes to a halt looking
out over the desert. The drums again.
307 LONG SHOT. The small figure of DAUD mounted on his camel,
back to CAMERA. The mud flat shining like an infernal lake.
308 CLOSE UP. DAUD. He looks around him, and then up at the sun.
3.09.
310
311
312 Fear is beginning to mount, but he controls himself.
DISSOLVE
MED. SHOT. The BOY and the CAMEL are casting a shadow again.
There is a pause of several seconds, then DAUD stiffenSJ in :his
saddle. Subconsciously he budges the animal forward a few paces.
CLOSE UP. He comes to a halt staring ahead.
LONG SHOT. An elongated pinhead of black elevated into the blue
above the horizon. The drum falters.
CLOSE SHOT. DAUD. Hardly daring, he urges the1 camel into a
walk The CAMERa TRACKS with him as he sits bolt upright
peering ahead.
313 LONG SHOT. TRACKING. DAUD' s viewpoint. The flat slipping
by uncte·rneath with the distant pinpoint of black above the horizon.
314 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. DAUD. Slowly he brings the camel to a
trot.
315 LONG SHOT TRACKING His viewpoint. The ground is slipping by
faster. The distant pintpoint is now merging with the flat and
becoming distinguishable as an elongated and moving object.
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316 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. DAUD A painful grin spreads over his
face. He beats the camel into a gallop. Music begins to well up
317
318
319 on the SOUND TRACK.
LONG SHOT TRACKING The mud flat now racing by. The distant
figure now a mounted camel --- but ridden by one or two men we
cannot see.
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. DAUD. His excitement mounts into a
shriek of delight as he recognizes ...
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT LAWRENCE His camel is jolting along
at a slow trot. Behind him sits GASIM:, hanging on as best he can.
LAWRENCE's face is dreadfully blackened and he peers ahead
through bloodshot eyes . .
320 LONG SHOT TRACKING LAWRENCE' s viewpoint. The approaching
outline of DAUD' s galloping camel.
321 CLOSE UP TRACKING. DAUD another shriek.
322 CLOSE UP TRACKING. ""L,AWRENCE. A tortured half smile.
323 EXTREME LONG SHOil'. The TWO CAMELS. One trotting and
one galloping, converging from either side of the screen. The
MUSIC builds. The TWO CAMELS: meet,. .and DAUD wheels his
animal around to fall in beside LAWRENCE.. The music stops.
DISSOLVE
324 CLOSE SHOT LATE AFTERNOON FAR.RAJ is sitting on a crest
with a water skin looking over the desert. He blinks back his tears.
Behind and below him the RAIDING PARTY have set up a few tents
around the well, Fires are burning.
325 CLOSE SHOT. ALI is seated cross-legged on the ground in front of
one of the tents. He moodilydrawspatter~sin tM ground with his
camel stick. After a moment he looks upwards.
326 LONG SHOT. The small figure of FARRAJ on the crest, outlined
against the reddening sky, waiting~
327 CLOSE UP. ALI. He looks away and whacks the ground with his
stick. There is a sudden cry from FARRAJ.
FARRAJ (off)
Aurens ! ! Daud ! ! !
ALI looks up. 0
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329
330 76
MED. SHOT. FARRAJ is plunginr, down the side of a dune yelling
as he· goes. The CAMERA PANS with· him into a LONG SHOT.
We see LAWRENCE and DAUD's camels below as FARRAJ falls
over himself, his water bottle flying.
CLOSE SHOT. ALI. In the background the RAIDERS rise to their
feet and start walking towards the desert. ALI's face is incred
ulous, hopeful, and a little apprehensive.
MED. SHOT. DAUD and LAWRENCE, with GASIM mounted behind
him, coming in off the desert.
331 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. FARRAJ running, yelling across the
332 desert. ·
CLOSE UP. DAUD. Recognising his companion he starts yelling
too, and stirs his camel forward.
333 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. ALI. Surrounded by hurrying men he
reaches the sand.
334
335
336
337
338 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE looking out ahead.
LONG SHOT. The two GROUPS converge with FARRAJ the first
to make contact.
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. FARRAJ and DAUD. FARRAJ holds
up the watter bottle.
FARRAJ
Daud. Daud.
DAUD smiles down wearily.
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. ALI. After a few steps he cpmes to a
standstill.
MED. SHOT. The two camels, surrounded by the RAIDING PARTY.,
They come to a halt and the camels kneel to the ground~
339 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and GASIM. MEN pull the exhausted
GASIM from the camel. LAWRENCE remains slumped in the saddle.
He looks towards ALI.
340 CLOSE SHOT. ALI. He walks forward with a half smile that admits
happy defeat.
341 CLOSE SHOT. FARRAJ and DAUD embracing.
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CLOSE SHOT. ALI walks into picture beside LA WREN CE and hands
him a bottle. LAWRENCE is about to drink, but he takes the water
from his lips and raises his heal.
LAWRENCE
(he croaks)
Nothing is written.
As he drinks we hear a shocked, amused, admiring, murmur:
Aurens, Aurens, Aurens.
He slithers from the saddle and places his feet gingerly on the ground.
He looks about.
343/6 MED. SHOT. Several of the RAIDERS have spread their saddle
cloths on the ground. Now he is eagerly invited by two or three
to confer the honour upon them.
ELDER HARITH
(smiling)
Aurens!
MAJID
(smiling)
Aurens!
LAWRENCE smiles and goes over to the nearest. He looks at it.
It calls. But he painfully takes off his shirt and calls, without
looking, as though for help.
Farraj!
FARRAJ comes.
Wash. LAWRENCE
LAWRENCE
(giving him the shirt)
Then he looks down at the brightly patterned saddlecloth and like a
light going out he releases the body from the mind's control and
almost collapses into sleep. (It must not be a faint though)
Instantly, FARRAJ begins to unlace his boots, and a shadow is
thrown over LAWRENCE as a cloth shelter is erected over him.
DISSOLVE ·, r------
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0 347 78
CLOSE SHOT, LAWRENCE. His eyes have opened and gleam in
the light.
ALI
(calls softly)
Farraj~
FARRAJ comes with a prepared dish of food, which he lays by
LAWRENCE. LAWRENCE raises himself on one elbow, considers
it and begins to spoon it carefully into his mouth, watched by ALI.
ALI
(quietly)
El Aurens . . . Truly, for some men nothing
is written unless they write it.
(it is capitulation)
LAWRENCE
(moved, he laughs quietly,
goes on eating. Then:)
Not 'El Aurens', Just Lawrence.
ALI
El Aurens is better.
LAWRENCE
True.
ALI
Your father too: Just Mr. Lawrence?
LAWRENCE
(considers this. Pushes away
the food. Turns on his back
and closes his eyes as though
asleep, and says with an effort)
My father is Sir Thomas Chapman.
ALI
(pleased}
Is that a Lord?
LAWRENCE
A kind of a Lord.
ALI
Then when he dies you too will be a Lord,
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LAWRENCE
No.
ALI
(sympathetic)
Ah. You have an elder brother.
No. (a common complaint among
aristocrats like himself)
LAWRENCE
ALI
But then ...
(another point strikes him)
I do not understand this - Your father's
name is Chapman· -
LAWRENCE
Ali. My father isn't really my father.
He didn't marry my mother.
I see. (the words 'father' arid 'mother'
come out on a barely perceptible·
eff art of breath)
ALI
(gravely)
(he is disturbed. He must
think this out. Silence. )
LAWRENCE
I'm sorry.
(and this is not bitter but a
humble though dignified
apology for a fault.)
ALI
(after further thought; quietly)
It seems to me that you are free to
choose your own name then.
LAWRENCE
(he keeps his eyes tightly shut)
Yes, I suppose I am. 79
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348 Continued
ALI
(with a quick smile - and this
is an act of real moral generosity)
"El Aurens" is best.
LAWRENCE
,.a (after a pause in which he con
trols the surge of gratitude -
dangerously similar to love -
which rises in him)
All rigbt, I'll settle for "El Aurens." 80
He feigns sleep. ALI covers him and goes over to the fire.
DAUD and FARRAJ are there, now asleep. By FARRAJ are neatly
piled LAWRENCE's shirt, shorts, socks, with the webbing belt on
top.· ALI takes them up. FARRAJ wakes. ALI throws the clothes
one by one on the fire. FARRAJ looks from them to him with his
mouth open in horrified enquiry.
CLOSE SHOT. BROAD DAY. LAWRENCE, hand on dagger in Arab
robes.
349 MED. SHOT. ALI, ELDER HARITH, MAJID, and others regard him.
ALI
They are the robes of a Sherif of
the Beni Wejh.
LAWRENCE
(stroking the silk)
Very fine.
(he turns a circle, smiles,
awkward with pleasure and
emotion)
Great honour.
MAJID
{courteous)
The honour is to us. Salaams Sherif,
FARRAJ AND DAUD
( delighted)
Salaams Sherif.
LAWRENCE
(to ALI)
It is permitted?
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ALI
Surely.
ELDER HARITH
He for whoni nothing is written may write
himself a clan. Salaam.
LAWRENCE
Salaams. 81
He strides a hestitant pace or two and smiles bashfully. . For once
it is he who is waiting for a lead.
ELDER HARITH
(tactfully boisterous)
They are good for riding. Try!
Yes. LAWRENCE
(eagerly)
(he turns and picks µp his camel
saddle, turns back to them.
Strongly.)
Great honour~
As he goes we hear the murmur rise to a shout: "Aurens~"
CUT TO
350 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE (head and shoulders) riding.
MUSIC.
351 REVERSE LONG SHOT. LAWRENCE galloping towards CAMERA.
352
353
354 The RAIDERS, distant, are wafching. When he approaches
CAMERA, LAWRENCE reins in and turns to look at the RAIDERS.
MED. SHOT.. The RAIDERS raise their hands.
MED. SHOO'. LA WREN CE raises his hand to them and urges his
camel off at a right angle. CAMERA (situated as in REVERSE
LONG SHOT above) PANS with this and the RAIDERS are cut off
from view by the bank of the Wadi, which LAWRENCE is entering.
When the RAIDERS are quite cut off from view:
CLOSE SHOT. He dismounts. He stands erect; his face is stern
but his eyes are smiling, like a man listening to music.
--~---·-·----------- ---------------· -··---··--·----···•-·-___ __J 355
►io
356
I
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357
,ee 358
0 82
MED. TRACKING SHOT. He walks a swinging pace or two. He
draws his dagger and with an expression of extreme nobility
threatens with it -- who? Himself perhaps. His eyes fall
upon the dagger as though it were someone else who held it and
his face relaxes in self-mockery, though he does not.exactly smile.
In any case he i.s for the moment happy enough to tolerate himself.
He slams the dagger into its sheath and sets off briskly. He turns
suddenly, causing the robes to fly. And so on, the music rising.
Though the actions are histrionic his expression is manly and attentive:
almost cautious, and we can see that this is more than play acting.
As he goes, striding, stopping and turning, with slow graceful movement1
of the arms, CAMERA FOLLOWS closely.
LONG SHOT. Angling down. He sets off with a swinging stride in no
particular direction . CAMERA PANNING slightly, but he is
progressing diagonally across the screen.· A MAN on a STATIONARY
HORSE thus enters the opposite corner of the screen, unseen by
. LAWRENCE until they are almost nose to nose.
MED. SHOT. THEY regard one another.
CLOSE SHOT. The man is AUDA. The complete desert Bedouin.
His face is haggard, fierce, dignified and childish. His eyebrows
ar~ raised in amused enquiry. MUSIC stops.
AUDA
What are you doing -- Englishman?
LAWRENCE
{with equal insouciance -
hands on hips)
As you see.
{glances round the rim of the
basin, carelessly)
Are you alone?
AUDA
Almost. Are you with that party of
dogs who are drinking at my well?
LAWRENCE
(stiffens with immediate interest)
Yours?-
AUDA takes out his pistol and fires a single shot in the air, before
thrusting it back into his belt. . I
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AUDA
I am Auda Ibu Tayi.
(he expects this to have an effect)
_ LAWRENCE
(as one who notes a mild coin
cidence)
Ah. I have heard of another man of that
name.
Other?
(roaring)
What other? AUDA
LAWRENCE
The Auda I heard of would not need to .
summon help --
(indicating the pistol}
to look after his wells.
AUDA
Ah. He must be a great hero.
LAWRENCE
He is. He would not refuse water to men
coming out of the Great Nefudh desert.
AUDA
Would he not? Truly that must be some
other man.
(he jerks his head)
Here is my "help" • 83
An impressive and dignified BOY of about ten years, on a miniature
Arab pony tears down the side of the dune and joins them. He and
LA WREN CE exchange glances.
AUDA
(leans down from his horse and
flicks LA WREN CE' s garments
with his whip)
Son, what fashion is this?
BOY
Harith, fat her. . '
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359 Continued
. AUDA
,.;j,• And what manner of Harith?
BOY
A Beni Wejh Sherif, father.
AUDA
And is he Harith?
BOY
No father. English.
AUDA nods sardonically and wheels his horse to go.
AUDA
Son, they are stealing our water. Tell
them we are coming. 84
The BOY drags out an enormous pistol and holds it upwards. Looks at
AUDA inquiringly~ his eyes sparkling.
AUDA
Yes! Tell them!
CLOSE SHOT. The BOY fires. The two bound out of frame.
360 MED. SHOT. From LAWRENCE's point of view, they tear away to
the end of the Wadi and wheel, in a spurt of sand, towards the well,
so disappearing from view. As they go, their passage brings
LAWRENCE's camel uneasily to its feet, where it stands hesitant.
361 MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE races through the sand towards it.
362" LONG SHOT •.. AUDA and SON arrive .•. snatch water bottle from
GASIM:
362A MED. SHOT ... AUDA with water bottle moving forward from GASIM ..
OR
362B AUDA still - holding the bottle up.
362C REACTION SHOT ... RAIDING PARTY.
362D CLOSE SHOT ... AUDA empties bottle and throws it left. r-·
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MEDIUM.SHOT. AUDA throws bottle at GASIM's feet and circles well
intercut may be with
363A AUDA's SON watching.
364 LAWRENCE gallops up to beside AUDA's SON.
364A AUDA's SON pulls gun.
365 DAUD and FARRA.er reacting.
366
367 LA WREN CE hand raised ~ he smiles.
A UDA 'S SON • • • smiles - cocks, gun and loses smile
368 AUDA as well -dialogue 'You empty that'
\ ~, .• ,...
ALI steps inf. g. 'do not'
369 (not yet shot} AUDA~ in is Auda of the Howeitat whp speaks . .'. '
369A ALI 'It is Ali of the Harith who answers' • • • moves forward •..
370 AUDA ·sizes up ALI (to be shot) and moves forward.
371 AUDA and ALI meet in TWO SHOT and continue as script
372
373 AUDA
(as one who makes an effort of
memory, politely to recollect
an obscure name, thoughtfully)
Harith ... Ali
{his face clears; with exaggerated
. delicacy) ·
Does your father still steal?
Auda! LAWRENCE
(sharply} (AUDA turns)
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE from AUDA's viewpoint.
LAWRENCE
We are fifty; you are two.
How if we shot
you down?
MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE AND AUDA n ,·-.----~
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AUDA
Why then you have a blood feud with the
Howeitat Do you desire it?
LAWRENCE
(smiles and bows his llead)
Not the Generals in Cairo nor the Sultan
himself desire that.
(he smiles, indicating the BOY)
Call off your men. 86
374 WIDER ANGLE MED. SHOT LAWRENCE, AVDA, the BOY, ALI.
AUDA
(testily, and as one who repeats
a lesson to a backward pupil)
No, no, boy -- this honours the unworthy.
(the BOY holsters the gun, and
as LAWRENCE rides up to him
he continues, mock-apologetic)
I have only just begun to teach him.
LAWRENCE
(serious and with a trace of
disesteem)
And what is it you're teaching him today?
(he indicates the scattered men
and vessels)
Howeitat hospitality?
AUDA
(he is caught; his face darkens
and he growls) ·
Be not clever with me, English ...
(he says to Atl shortly and
as though LAWRENCE were
not present}
Who is he?
LAWRENCE
(quickly}
A friend of Prince Feisal's.
So. AUDA
(looks at him and ALI with
some interest, cautiously) r' I
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D 374
375 Continued
AUDA (cont)
(to ALI)
Ar.id you desire my hospitality?
LAWRENCE
(quickly and looking warningly
and compellingly at ALI)
Yes.
AUDA
(to ALI)
. Is he your tongue?
ALI
{shortly)
We do desire it.
AUDA
. Then it is given.
( deprecating)
If you will take it --I am at my summer
camp, a poor place.
{as one wis~ing to be even
pedantically correct)
To me it seems a poor place, some men
find it marvellous. Tomorrow maybe I
will allow the Turks to buy you, friends
of Feisal. But dine with me.
(as soon as he has said this
magic phrase his pride becomes
straightforward)
Yes. Dine with Auda, English. Dine
with the Howeitat, Harith. It is my
pleasure that you dine with me -- in
Wadi Rhumm!
CUT TO 87
LONG SHOT. Angling down. WADRI RHUMM. This scene is epir:
in scale, Biblical in form. The floor of the Wadi is beneath us, yet
its walls tower above us. AUDA1s camp comprises some hundreds of
black tents, one of particular magnificence having a clear space aroun,
it. There are pools of water with small trees giving shade, flocks of
black sheep, a herd of horses. Smoke ascends from scores of cooking
fires at wl1ich the women work, though here and there a woman makes
her way between the tents on an ass, followed by her children. One o:·
two groups of men are mounted on trotting horse$, but most of the
horses are tethered and the general effect is of leisure, or the very
mildest sort of activity. The CAMERA PANS over this scene. --·;
I (;
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LONG SHOT. THE CAMP. The echo of a shot bounds back and forth
between the cliffs. There is one second of inactivity, and then women
and children appear from almost all of the tents, looking up and about
them. Men appear similarly and run to their horses.
377 MED. SHOT. AUDA, ALI, LAWRENCE. AUDA looks down as before,
he is no longer concerned to show off even slightly. He is deeply proud
of what he sees and also alert to see that it is done correctly. He fires
another shot, .and leads the way forward and down.
378
379:
380
381
382
383
384
385
386
387
388
389 LONG .SHOT. THE CAMP, from the floor of the Wadi. The ·echo of
AUDA's second shot still flying; more and more mounted men all
. making in one direction; women snatching children away from the
horses into the shelter of the tents.
MED. SHOT. By the big tent AUDA's standard. A flying horseman
plucks it from the ground.· On SOUND TRACK a gathering noise of welcor:·
MED. TRACKING SHOT. THE RAIDERS, MAJID with ~he banner
. prominent in the background. AUDA smiles.
LONG SHOT. What he sees. We are approaching the tents, from between
which AUDA 's HORSEMEN .are speeding to meet us, joy-shooting.
MED. SHOT. CAMERA PANS along the RAIDERS. They look defiant,
Backs are straightened. Their dusty, crumpled, sometimes torn
garments rearranged. They pack more closely together as the first
of the horsemen arrive.
LONG SHOT. THE RAIDERS, surrounded by the HORSEMEN who
circle about them, shouting AUDA.'s name and firing into the air.
MED. TRACKING SHOT. AUDA, LAWRENCE, and ALI.
MED. SHOT. From their viewpoint; CAMERA PANS swiftly with
a group of encircling HOWEITAT. ·
MED. TRACKING SHOT. ELDER HARITH, MAJID, and other RAIDERS
face ahead but look convertly sideways.
MED. SHOT. AUDA spurs a little ahead.
MED. SHOT. From his viewpoint. The whirling wall of horsemen
breaks before him, wheeling away (not too neatly; it is not a circus) to
disclose the tents. Shooting stops.
MED. TRACKING SHOT. The RAIDERS ride between the tents. There
is now no noise and the HOWEITAT have formed themselves into a huge
and threatening escort, riding alongside.
Their clothes are good, in some cases splendid; their weapons are clean
their mounts fresh and well-groomed. ~ ------··-· . -..
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391
392 89
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. MAJID. He turns his head and looks
balefully at:
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT .. HOWEITAT STANDARD BE.ARER.
He returns the look.
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. GASIM .. The HOWEITAT are now
crowding the RAIDERS; he is nervous ?Ut d~es his best.
393 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. A splendid HOWEITAT eyes him up
and down.
394 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. ELDER HARITH, being crowded. Without
395
396
397 looking, he crowds back.
MED. TRACKING SHOT. From the RAIDERS' viewpoint, the
moving sea of HOWEITAT look towards us, poker-faced among
the tents.
MED. TRACKING SHOT. From behind, we PAN over the heads of
the HOWEITAT along the camel-borne RAIDERS, ending on the
leaders. The whole cavalcade comes to a stop, except for AUDA,
ALI and .LAWRENCE who ride on, watched by the others, into a
clear space.
MED. TRACKING SHOT. These THREE ride towards us, others in
the background. AUDA dismounts. He salutes his guests, and
gestures.
AUDA
Auda's tent.
398 CLOSE SHOT. AUDA'S TENT. It is a woven palace .
399 MED. SHOT. At a signal from the ELDER HARITH, the camels
of the RAIDERS sink down to their knees among the horsemen, so
seeming to be swallowed up.
DISSOLVE
400 11'.TSIDE AUDA'S TENT. NIGHT. It is brilliantly lit within. The black
night without is ringed with fires. The remains of a splendid meal is before them. Slaves attend with coffee. AUDA reclines backwards
and belches politely. He is satiated but his little eyes are wickedly
alive. He has much on his mind.
AUDA
(reflectively)
This thing you work against Akaba. What
profit do you hope from it?
·-,··--... ··-·-·-----· ···----·-··-·-···"' .. ------- ------- I ------·-···~·-·-------··-------r
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ALI
We work it for Feisal of Mecca. The Harith
do not work for profit.
(unlike some he could
mention)
AUDA
(unruffled)
Well, if it is in a man to be a servant,
Sherif Ali, he could find worse masters
than Feisal. But I --I cannot ·serve.
LAWRENCE
(quietly)
You permit the Turks to stay in Akaba.
AUDA
(short)
Yes. It is my pleasure. 90
LAWRENCE leans forward and takes a morsel from the plate.
Carefully.
LAWRENCE
We do not work this thing for Feisal ...
AUDA
(insolently, to ALI)
No? For the English then?
LAWRENCE
(quick)
For the Arabs.
AUDA
The Arabs? ... The Howeitat, Ageyli,
Rualla, Beni Sahkr, these I know - I have
even heard of the Harith - but the "Arabs":
what tribe is that?
LAWRENCE laughs, AUDA looks pleased, but:
LAWRENCE
They are a tribe, of slaves.
And A UDA goes gray at the insult.
.J (
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I 400 Continued
LAWRENCE
They serve the Turks.
AUDA
(muttering)
Well they are nothing to me. My tribe is
the Howei tat!
ALI
Who work only for profit.
AUDA
Who work at Auda's pleasure!
LAWRENCE
And Auda's pleasure is to serve the Turks .
. AUDA
(deeply dangerous, between,
incredulity and rage) 91
Serve? I, serve?
LAWRENCE
It is the servant wh.o takes money.
AUDA leaps to his feet and backs away from this moral threat as
another man might from a physical one.
AUDA
I am Auda Ibu Tayi !
He goes to the edge of the tent and bawls into the darkness:
Does Auda ·serve? Does Auda Ibu Tayi serve?
He faces his persecutors and goes into a furious litany:
I ca;rry twenty-three great wounds all got
in battle! Seventy-five men I have killed
with my own hands, in battle! . I scatter, I
burn my enemies' tents! I take away their
flocks and herds. The Turks pay me a golden
treasure. Yet I am poor! ... Because I am a
river to my people! Is that service?
LAWRENCE
No.
---------------------------------------------·--··· --------·--·--· -·-·· --,
... ___ _j ()
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400 Continued
AUDA sees his admiration is genuine. He approaches. He sits.
MAJID
(sadly)
Yet now it see111s Auda has grown old.
And lost his taste forfighting.
AUDA
It is well you say it in my tent. Thou tulip..
ALI
Yet this is a tulip the Tur ks could not buy.
AUDA
Why should they wish to?
(to LAWRENCE)
Now I will tell you what they pay me. And
you will tell me if this is a servant's wages.
(impressive)
They pay me, month by montp . . . one hundred
golden guineas.
ALI, MAJID, and others are dumbfounded, but:
LAWRENCE
A hundred and fifty, Auda.
AUDA
Who told thee that?
LAWRENCE
I have long ears.
AUDA
And a long tongue between them.
LAWRENCE
A hundred, a hundred and fifty, what matters?
It is a trifle.
(AUDA stares)
A trifle. Which they take from a great box
they have ...
ALI
In Akaba. ,, (
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) 400 Continued
In Akaba? AUDA
(glowers)
LAWRENCE
Where else?
AUDA
You trouble me! .Like women!
LAWRENCE laughs delightedly.
LAWRENCE
Friends, we have been foolish. Auda
will not come to Akaba ...
AUDA
No.
LAWRENCE
--- for Money ---
AUDA
No.
LAWRENCE
--- for Feisal ---
AUDA
No.
LAWRENCE
-- nor to drive the Turks away. He will
come because it is his pleasure.
AUDA
(contemplates him, grimly,
then:)
Thy mother mated with a scorpion.
DISSOLVE 93
401 LONG SHOT. EARLY MORNING. AUDA'S CAMP. The column
is assembled in reverse order, i. e. with the leaders, their stand
ards and bodyguards at the rear.
402 MED. SHOT. AUDA mounts. I t·
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402 Continued
AUDA
Make God your agent!
The leaders mount and move off ·between the "TRIBESMEN.
403 LONG SHOT. As they advance, the TRIBESMEN cry:
404
405
406
407
408
409 TRIBESMEN
Auda lbu Tayi I
AUDA
Peace be with you!
LONG SHOT. As they move, they peel up their followers as in a
country dance, behind them. A tremendous amount of ·-showing-off
takes place in the matter of horsemanship.
EXTREME LONG AERIAL SHOT. The HOWEITAT, ant-like,.
crawl away from the cliffs of Rhumm across a limitless landscape.
DISSOLVE
EXTREME LONG SHOT. RIGHT. We look across fold after fold
of lunar mountains, to where the lights of a town twinkle, and the
sea. In foreground LAWRENCE and ALI look towards this. ALI
looks to LAWRENCE, smiles at his expression and says:
ALI
Yes. Akaba ..•
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE rolls over happily and slithers down
the slope a little. He looks down contentedly at:
MED. LONG SHOT. P.O. V. LAWRENCE. In the wadi below, the
column. There are no fires or shelters, but the beasts gathered
in clumps and the men mostly lie or sit, in groups. The low mur
mur of their voices ascends.
CLOSE SHOT. ALI slithers down to join LAWRENCE.
ALI
Tomorrow we will go and get it.
LAWRENCE
(soberly)
D 'you think we shall? --·-( I
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409 Continued
410
411 ALI
Yes, if you are right about the guns.
LAWRENCE opens his mouth to reply but from the Wadi a single
shot cannons out. He looks to ALI, but after a single split'beat·
ALI is gone from the frame with a celerity which indicates that
some specific, serious thing has happened.
MED. LONG SHOT P. 0. V. LAWRENCE. In the Wadi, the BEDOUIN
are on their feet, converging on a point where there is a swirling
knot of men, and shouting.
MED. TRACKING SHOT. ALI descending in a rush. Just as he
is leaving the foot of the frame, LAWRENCE appears at the head
of it, following more slowly.
412 MED. SHOT. In the Wadi a sort of huge rugby scrum has formed
round something we cannot see, of mixed Harith and Howeitat.
This dark mass, which emits a roaring as of giant bees, gyrates,
struggling, swings sideways to reveal in a patch of moonlight,
ALI, AUDA, MAJID and two senior HOWEITAT in altercation at
the foot of the Wadi wall. LAWRENCE drops into view behind
them.
. 413 CLOSE SHOT. This group. AUDA says flatly into ALI's face,
not as one who seeks to convince but as one who states an unalter
able fact:
AUDA
He killed. He dies.
At this the two HOWEITAT murinur approval, while ALI and
MAJID can only fall silent, and AUDA breaks away, (as LAWRENCE
joins the group), followed by his two, from one of whom he seizes
a rifle, and thrusts his way into. the scrum which falls almost silent,
opening for him. ·
ALI
{to LAWRENCE)
This is .the end of Akaba.
He goes and stands with his face to the rock wall, leaving LAWRENCE
looking in consternation at MAJID who says immediately:
MAJID
One of our men has murdered one of Auda's
men. .,
..
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LAWRENCE
(knows the full significance
of this. He is furious. · He
groans)
Oh ... '!!!}7?
MAJID
(shrugs)
Theft ... blood feud ... It makes no matter
why.
LA WREN CE spins about.
LAWRENCE
Ali! 96
ALI, his back to LAWRENCE, shakes his head dumbly. He walks
away, LAWRENCE staring after him,. to where:
414 MED. SHOT. P. 0. V. LAWRENCE. The Harith are gathering,
coming up with their rifles, winding headclothes about their faces,
grimly facing:
415 QUICK CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE looks the other way, to:
416 MED. SHOT. P. 0. V. LAWRENCE. The Howeitat gathered round
AUDA and the culprit ...
MAJID (on SOUND TRACK)
(resigned)
It is an ancient wound.
417 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE
LAWRENCE
I didn't come here to watch a tribal blood-
i) bath!
..-.
•,.,J
-u He thrusts his way after A UDA.
418 CLOSE SHOT. AUDA, LAWRENCE, the surrounding HOWEITAT.
The VICTIM, below frame and surrounded .
AUDA
(warningly)
It is the law, Aurens ---(
(~)
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418 Continued
LAWRENCE
The Law says that the man must die. If
he dies will that content the Howeitat?
AUDA
· (cautiously)
Yes.
LAWRENCE thrusts from him.
419 MED. SHOT. Looking down on the scene ... LAWRENCE stands be
tween the two groups.
420 LAWRENCE
(calling)
Sherif Ali! If none of Lord Auda's men
harms any of yours, will that content the
Harith?
Yes! ALI
(calls, eagerly, cutting off a
dubious murmur from his
men}
LAWRENCE
Then I will execute the Law! I have no
tribe --- !
EXTREME CLOOE SHOT. LAWRENCE
-- and No-one is offended!
LAWRENCE moves towards the open ring of HOWEITAT and immed
iately we CUT violently from this grave and almost ritualistic scene to:
421 CLOSE SHOT. THE FUGITIVE, held, face down, kneeling
by three
or four HOWEITAT. He is struggling and weeping, and his captors
are breathing hard. LAWRENCE's feet enter frame: and stop.
FUGITIVE looks up.
422 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. The tear stained face of GASIM. He has
not been manhandled. (no blood stains - this is tribal law, not mob
violence)
423 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE, his eyes widen in horror. -r r·-~--····
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423 Continued
LAWRENCE
Gasim!
424 CLOSE SHOT. Widening to include LAWRENCE,. A wild hope
spreads over GASIM's face; he nods vigorously, gulping and
snuffling, a ridiculous smile of apology on his features. ·
LAWRENCE
(his voice grating like
something mechanical)
Did you do it?
GASIM's smile becomes puzzled. Either LAWRENCE is for him
or against him he thinks. Then again he nods, his expression
enquiring .. LAWRENCE raises hispi'stol, GASIM flings himself
away and sideways from his captors, who skip nimbly out of line
of fire, and at the top of the screen we see the feet of the HOWEITAT scatter.
It is ugly, scrambling, without dignity.
425 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. His face wooden, half averted, he
fires. He takes fresh aim and fires again, and again. it is clear
that GASIM is still alive and flinging himself about on the ground.
LAWRENCE's face is desperate.
426 MED. PANNING SHOT. Men are walking away from the execution
w'1ich we cannot see, all radiating away from it as more shots
sound out, their faces stony and calm, some passing close past
CAMERA.
427 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. He turns away and walks, CAMERA
TRACKING BACKWARDS from him. His face is in the last degree
shocked, not merely with the shock of a horrible experience, but
of a man who has just heard horrible news.
428 TRACKING SHOT. P. 0. V. LAWRENCE, the backs of men walking
away from him (from the execution, actually, but·it .looks as though from
him). One faces him and waits. It is AUDA~ As LAWRENCE draws
up with him, he nods and says softly and on a note of approval, of
quiet congratulation.
AUDA
Well, Aurens.
429 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE walks straight past him, not
swerving an inch, clearly prepared to hurl AUDA from his path if
AUDA does not stand aside --- which he does, and: f
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430 CLOSE SHOT AUDA. He looks not offended, but absolutely puzzled
and withal curious. He has simply no comprehension of the source
of LAWRENCE'S distress. ALI joins AUDA in frame, looking off
after his friend.
AUDA
What ails the Englishman?
ALI
That that he killed was the man be brought
out of the N efud.
AUDA
( comprehending)
Ah-..
(he shrugs)
It was written then. Better to have left
him.
ALI leaves the frame after LAWRENCE.
431 LAWRENCE. ALI joins him in frame and falls into step, in silence,
for a little; his eye lights on the pistol still in LAWRENCE' s hand~
432 CLOSE SHOT. The pistol. ALI speaks on SOUND TRACK.
433
434 ALI (on SOUND TRACK)
(gently)
It was execution, Aurens. No shame in
that . . . Besides, it was necessary.
CLOSE SHOT. ALI and LAWRENCE, who appears not to have heard.
ALI
(smiles uncomfortably)
You gave life and you took it.
(placating)
The writing is still yours.
LAWRENCE looks at him in horror and fear. Looks at the pistol.
Sends it spinning away from him.
FLASH SHOT. The pistol cuts a glittering arc in the moonlight.
. . .
435 MED.SHOT. A group of HOWEITAT, RUALLA, and HARITH, rush
for it, excited and quarrelsome, innocent as schoolboys. On SOUND
TRACK, beneath their clamour, a rumble rises, becomes a thunder
and:
CUT (
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436 MEDIUM SHOT. The Ra.i.ders thunder towards us in line abreast,
stretching from side to side of Wadi Akaba. The thunder is deafening,
the hooves are flying, they are invincible. We have just time to
glimpse AUDA in the van when with a crescendo of noise they sweep
past us, CAMERA PANNING swiftly to follow them as they leave
us under a curtain of dust.. In this curtain we can make out
LAWRENCE following(with the other camel-riders) in the wake of
the tidal wave he has raised but cannot lead. As. they leave us of
course the thunder dies away, but not to silence, and:
437 PANNING SHOT. The Turkish Kitchen area. On SOUND TRACK
the faint sound of the charge. A queue of men with enamel plates
is served by cooks with ladles in foreground. PANNING, middleground is occupied by those already served seated on benches at
tables under awning. Then, in background a platoon of riflemen
(the New Guard for the day no doubt) is inspected
by an OFFICER.
The noise of the charge growing we PAN back at once and see MEN
at the tables raise their heads curiously. Then, in the queue MEN
stare off incredulously. One man's food slides from his plate, and:
438 LONG SHOT. The charge, their P. 0. V. under its curtain of dust,
thunder increasing steadily but without a break.
439 PANNING SHOT, in the Kitchen area, the MEN in the queue and
at the tables run aimlessly. In background we see the RIFLEMEN .
more purposefully taking cover (thunder of hooves growing steadily)
and: ·
440 The OFFICER frantically works a field telephone, but he turns into
CAMERA instinctively cringing as the thunder becomes overwhelming
and: · ·
441 The charge, on top of CAMERA engulfs us. Thunder fortissimo.
442 As though swept up in it, MOVING SHOT, P. 0. V. the charging
Arabs. Turks scatter before us, throw up their arms, go down.
Thunder fortissimo.
443 Thunder continuing but dimminuendo. In a line across the Wadi are
four sandbagged Machine Gun pits. We shoot along the line and at
the far side of the Wadi are many neat tents. The same at this
side of the Wadi, therefore in foreground. In the Pits TURKS struggle
grimly, without panic, valiantly, to rip the covers from the heavy guns,
to lug them to the reverse side of the position, to load them.. The
thunder is growing; we almost want them to succeed. One team does
loose off a brief hesitant burst but the charge bursts on screen, thunder
fortissimo, and with hoarse cri.es they are shot down, sabred, overrun
in a twinkling. In the rear of the charge a horseman deftly severs the
guys of the foreground tent, like a circus turn, and flies off again and
1
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443 Continued
we just have time to see the tents on the far side going down with the
artificial neatness of a conjuring trick. These destroyers have been
left by the main charge which we hear receding and:
444 LONG SHOT. From an eminence at the end of the Wadi we hea.r
the popping rifles, the distant cries, the distant thunder as the
charge, still in perfect line, rolls up the last Turkish defences,
the camp behind it in• chaos, and only now at this discreet distance
do we see the strewn dead among the wreckage, in sufficient numbers
to indicate total victory. We PAN to follow the charge, ending when
the helpless BIG GUNS loom on frame in foreground, with in the
distance Akaba Town, its beach and seashore. ·
CUT
. 445/ DELETED. 484
485 ROSTRUM SHOT-PANNING. Across wall and disclosing LONG
SHOT LAWRENCE and camel going down to the sea. As it
turns along the surf.
486 MEDIUM SHOT. PANNING with LAWRENCE and camel walking
through surf and coming to a halt.
487 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. He looks around him, head raised.
in the manner of a conquerer. (Enough footage for trumpets and
orchestra to develop.) He glances towards the town, lowers
488
489
490 his head, puts his rifle away and wipes his hand on his clothing.
He sits, his head again raised, looking out to sea: After a moment
or two the FLOWERS fall past his face, he looks downwards.
INTER CUT. INSERT of the FLOWERS floating on the --water ..
RESUME CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE - he turns in his saddle and
sees:
CLOSE SHOT. ALI (who is just behind)
ALI
The miracle is accomplished.
(Pointing to the flowers)
Garlands for the conqueror.
491 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE:
LAWRENCE
Oh. .. J C
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He turns and looks down at the water again.
492 CLOSE SHOT. The FLOWERS. They are drifting backwards and
forwards in the water.
493 MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE and ALI. LAWRENCE jumps from
his 'Camel and CAMERA PANS with him into CLOSE SHOT as he
chases the FLOWERS and finally picks them up.
494 CLOSE SHOT. ALI.
ALI
Tribute for the Prince
Flowers for the man ...
495 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE (as from ALI's viewpoint). He wants
to respond.
LAWRENCE
(shrugging)
I'm none of those things. Ali.
496 MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE. in foreground - ALI in background.
ALI
What then?
LAWRENCE
Don't know.
· (holding up the flowers)
Thanks.
(looking out over the sea)
My god I love this country.
There is a soft explosion off. LA WREN CE looks towards the town.
LAWRENCE
What ... ?
!~~/ CLOSE SHOT. ALI - he turns looking towards the town.
ALI
Auda.
500 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. His eyebrows are raised; he is
privately shaking with inner laughter at the scene.
LAWRENCE
(mildly)
Have you looked thoroughly?
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500 Continued
Behind him a breathless Howeitat crashes in. He glances round
nervously at the threatening tableau, salaams to LAWRENCE with·
nervous haste and says to AUDA excitedly:
HOWEITAT
Auda Ibu Tayi ! I have found it!
He gestures invitingly towards the door, and LAWRENCE stands
aside as AUDA and his HOWEITAT, noisy again, pour through it.
501 LAWRENCE and ALI go swiftly to the wireless set and after a
single glance:
502 CLOSE SHOT. Angling up. ALI looks at LAWRENCE, anxiously,
and LAWRENCE after a moment:s scrutiny:
LAWRENCE
That's a pity.
503 MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE walks away and stops. Picks up a
Dispatch Case. He thinks. He radiates electric energy and
confidence.
504 LAWRENCE
Ali, get a message down the coast to Yenbo.
Tell Feisal to find boats -- any boats -- and
bring the Arab Army here to Akaba. Quickly.
ALI
And you?
LAWRENCE
I'm going to tell the Generals.
(with inner relish)
In Cairo!
Anticipating opposition, LAWRENCE is deliberately insouciant; he
continues to be occupied with the Dispatch Case.
LAWRENCE
(going)
Yes, 'cross Sinai.
CLOSE SHOT. At this FARRAJ and DAUD are alert and wildly hope
ful. On SOUND TRACK, ALI says:
ALI
"Sinai!"
LAWRENCE
Yes.
ALI
With these? (
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504 Continued
LAWRENCE
They'll be alright with me.
He says this with a little reproving laugh in hi.s voice, as though
Sinai were the local park and ALI's anxiety comical. ·But seeing
ALI's face ·he reaches out, takes ALI by one of his cross straps and
adds:
LAWRENCE
Look Ali.
(he shakes him gently, smiling)
If any of your Bedouin arrived in Cairo and
told them that we've taken Akaba, the Generals
would laugh!
ALI
(quietly, but with the bitterness
of frustrated love)
I see. In Cairo you will put off these funny
clothes; you will wear trousers and tell
stories of our quaintness and barbarity.
And then they will believe you. ·
During this, the smile fades from LAWRENGE 's features and by
its end he has a face of stone. He pauses, then says softly into
ALI's face:
LAWRENCE
You 're an ignorant man.
505 CLOSE SHOT. In an ancient strong room with a small barred window,
two HOWEITAT proffer a metal chest to AUDA. He fli'ngs from it
a final handful of grubby paper currency, which hangs in the air and
litters the floor like snow, and roars:
AUDA
Paper!
506 MEDIUM SHOT. He leaves the strong room, which brings him
into the tunnel through which LAWRENCE must leave the courtyard.
He stops as he sees LAWRENCE, preparing his mount, ALI by him,
DA UD and FARRAJ behind.
AUDA
There is no gold in Akaba. No gold! No
"great box!" -
507 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE glances past AUDA but sees that the
tunnel is filled with AUDA 's men. He relaxes in his saddle and says
loudly and with a touch of mild contempt: ·
LAWRENCE
Did Auda come to Akaba for gold?
AUDA
For my pleasure as you said, but gold
·,
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507 Continued
AUDA (Cont)
is honourable and Aurens promised gold ..•
(deliberately)
Aurena lied.
508 MED. SHOT. FARRAJ and DAUD each slams a round into the
breach of his rifle, with that particular unmistakeable nois~
509 MED. SHOT. AUDA and his men suddenly stop lounging and are
alert. AUDA peers past LAWRENCE and laughs. ·
LAWRENCE
See, Auda.
He op.ens the Despatch Case and takes from it a sheaf of papers, on
the back of one of which he writes with a pencil, also from the
Despatch Case, saying loudly as he does so:
"The Crown of England p·romises to pay
5, 000 golden guineas to Auda Ibuy Tayi. "
(still scribbling he adds
for his own amusement)
Signed in His Majesty's absence by .••
(a flourishing signature)
... me.
510 CLOSE SHOT. P. 0. V. LAWRENCE, AUDA moves alongside his
camel and holds· up his hand rather suspiciously for the paper.
LAWRENCE leans down into the frame and hands it to him, saying
as he does so:
511 LAWRENCE
In ten days I'll be back with gold.
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE
He straightens in the saddle and adds ringingly for the benefit of
all those now assembled:
LAWRENCE
With gold, with guns! With everything!
512 CLOSE SHOT. AUDA as before, unimpressed.
AUDA
Ten days? You will cross Sinai ?
LAWRENCE
Why not? Moses did,
And he urges his beast past AUDA and into the tunnel.
513 CLOSE SHOT. FARRAJ and DAUD pass AUDA following LAWRENCE. ! ,.
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514 CLOSE SHOT. AUDA, calling after:
AUDA
And you will take the -- children?
LAWRENCE's figure is already dim. His voice sails clearly back
to AUDA.
LAWRENCE
Moses did!
AUDA
(glaring after him)
Moses was a prophet.!
He glowers at the paper in hi.s hand and fires a parting shot through
the now empty tunnel beyond which only emptiness can be seen.
AUDA
(calling)
And beloved of God!
AUDA turns. His face is neither angry nor taken aback, but
perfectly still and very, very thoughtful. He says to ALI, as one
who ponders calmly but with apprehension a tiny piece of vital
evidence:
AUDA
He said there was gold here. He lied.
He is not perfect.
And he makes perfection sound a reasonable, indeed necessary,
requirement in a man.
515 LONG SHOT. THE SINAI .DESERT. The stars are disappearing
in a red dawn. The CAMERA PANS across the desolate beauty of
it into a MED. SHOT of LAWRENCE, FARRAJ and DAUD riding
abreast. Since they are riding westwards they are lit from behind
by red light. LAWRENCE reins in and the others follow suit. They
look back enquiringly. ·
LAWRENCE
(softly)
Look!
516 LONG SHOT. Their viewpoint. A huge DUST DEVIL lit by the
sunrise.
LAWRENCE (off)
A pillar of fire. (=>
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517 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and the TWO BOYS. DAUD looks back
at LAWRENCE uncomprehendingly.
DAUD
No Lord, sand.
LA WREN CE laughs and rides forward.
DISSOLVE
518 EXTREME LONG SHOT. A featureless desert plain. Broad day
ligJ:it, pale sky, pale .sand. The impression of heat less overwhelm
ing than on the mud flats but the droughtiness absolute. Three,
four, five dust devils at varying distances, veer and waver incon
stantly over the plain. (we want here, not geographical fact, but
metaphysical atmosphere) One of these columns bears down on the
THREE TINY FIGURES.
519 MED. SHOT. The THREE RIDERS enveloped in the whirling dust,
heads down, suffering it. It is suddenly gone. They are too tired
to comment, only moving forward again.
520 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. FARRAJ and DAUD try to spit but have
no spittle. LAWRENCE shakes his clothes.
521 CLOSE SHOT. A bright object falls silently on the sand. · The camels
feet move on as the CAMERA MOVES IN on the object. It is
LAWRENCE'S compass.
DISSOLVE
522 LONG SHOT. SINAI. The terrain now more strange and confused.
523 The THREE RIDERS come to a stop.
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE feels his robes for his compass, fails
to find it and looks back. The TWO BOYS follow his gaze not
understanding.
LAWRENCE
(cupping his empty hand
as· if he were holding it)
My compass.
Their fatigued faces look at him, alarmed.
LAWRENCE
No matter. If we ride West, we must
strike the Canal. Du.e West.
DISSOLVE. 0
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524 MED. SHOT. The THREE RIDERS receding from CAMERA straight
into the sunset. The sun has gone. It is nearly dark.
525 CLOSE SHOT TRACKING. The TWO BOYS look aged with fatigue
as they plod forward.
FARRAJ
Lord
(LAWRENCE looks at him)
Can we not rest?
LAWRENCE
(sharply)
I told you. No rest. Until they know that
I have Akaba.
They plod forwards.
LAWRENCE
Have you slept in beds?
They look at him but. are too miserable to answer.
Farraj?
Daud? LAWRENCE
(FARRAJ nods)
(DAUD nods)
With sheets?
Tomorrow night, the finest sheets, in the
finest room, in the finest hotel in Cairo.
DAUD can just manage a smile and a dubious angling of the head.
LAWRENCE
I promise it!
DAUD
(with an effort, croaking)
Then it s~all be so, Lord.
It'is almost dark.
DISSOLVE
526 LONG SHOT. DAY. A windswept foggy landscape of enormous sand
dunes. As LAWRENCE and FARRAJ, now on foot, drag their
grumbling camels down the side of a large dune, the small figures of
DAUD and his camel appear on the crest above them some hundred
.. ·,.
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526 Continued
yards away. He stands looking down at LAWRENCE and FARRAJ
wondering whether to make the effort to join them or go straight
down. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ reach the bottom of the dune and
stop in CLOSE SHOT. We now see that their lips are badly cracked
and that their faces ar.e masked by grey dust. They stand still for
a moment, breathing hard, th.en LAWRENCE turns; wearily and
impatiently he signals DAUD to go down. DA UD half raises his hand
in reply as LAWRENCE beckons to FARRAJ and they move on.
527 CLOSE SHOT .. DAUD. He takes the reins of his camel and pulls
it over the crest, down the slope. The CAMERA PANS with them
as they gather momentum and plunge downwards. ·
528 CLOSE SHOT. They run into a basin of soft sand at the bottom of
the dune. They are knee deep in it.
529 CLOSE UP. DAUD's camel. It lets out a frightened grunt and
jerks back its head. ·
530 MED. SHOT. The reins fly out of DAUD's hand as the frightened
animal backs away from him. He shouts at the camel, but not
until he tries to move does he realise the extent to which his legs
have sunk into the sand. He look out towards LA WREN CE and·
FARRAJ.
531 LONG SHOT. :bAUD's viewpoint. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ plod.
on oblivious to what has happened.
532 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD. The sand is now up to his thighs. He looks
around desperately with fear in his eyes.
' 533 CLOSE SHOT. His camel, standing still, its dangling reins just
out of reach.
534 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD. He makes a great effort to move but his
hands sink in the sand as he tries to press himself up. He yells
above the wind:
DAUD
Farraj!
535 CLOSE SHOT. FARRAJ. He is unawar.e of his friend's plight as he
staggers on through a particularly difficult patch. He just manages
to wave an arm in an exchange of greeting. ;--.. -···
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536 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD. For the last time he controls his panic. He
twists round to face his camel and forces himself to speak winningly.
DAUD
Aruka . . . Aruka ... ?
537 CLOSE SHOT. The camel. She lowers her. head, puzzled.
538 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD and the camel. DAUD reaches for the reins.
They are still too· far.
' 539 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD. He is up to his chest.
DAUD
Aruka . . . Aruka ... ?
540 CLOSE SHOT. DAUD and the CAMEL. She edges forward. In one
moment DAUD grabs the reins and her forefeet sink in the sand.
541 CLOSE SHOT. Angling up from DAUD's viewpoint.. The CAMEL
makes a tearing leap sideways and away, loudly bellowing as she
does so.
542 LONG SHOT. LOW ANGLE. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ plodding
away up the slope. They turn. They run floundering towards us.
As they come, DA UD' s camel dashes from behind -CAMERA and -~
towards them, monstrous because of our low angle.
543 FLASH SHOT. The face of FARRAJ, running.
544 FLASH SHOT. The face of LAWRENCE, running.
545 QUICK LOW ANGLE SHOT. The camels of FARRAJ and LAWRENCE.
They spin out of screen .
546 QUICK CLOSE SHOT. DAUD .. He screams.
547 DAUD
Aurens!
MED. SHOT. The three camels tear up to the crest of the rise.
Two of them disappear over it.
548 MED.' SHOT. DAUD's head and shoulders in foreground, with
LAWRENCE and FARRAJ struggling towards him in background. His
mouth quivers with fright as he repeats::
DAUD
Aurens ! Au:rens. C
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549 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ lurching
forward through the sand gasp mg for breath.
550 CLOSE UP. DAUD. He makes a desperate effort to sustain his
level by stretching out his arms, but he continues to sink and the
blowing sand begins to lap round his shoulders.
551 MED. SHOT. FARRAJ and LAWRENCE. FARRAJ makes a last
frantic rush forward, but within three or four yards of his friend
he too sinks in above the knees. LAWRENCE flings himself forward
on his belly and barely manages to pull him back to safety.
552 CLOSE UP. DAUD. The sand around his neck.
553 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. He rips off his headcloth, unwinds
it, and flings the free end towards DAUD.
554 CLOSE UP. DAUD. His chin is beginning to sink as the end of the
head cloth falls into picture. He just manages to get hold of it
with both hands.
555 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE. Taking the strain on the taut cloth. The
vibration showing how much strength he is exercising.
556 CLOSE UP. DAUD. The same vi.bration is repeated, we see at
once that his· strength will be insufficient. He begins to whimper.
His hands slip on the cloth and slip again. The sand mounts towards
his mouth and he begins to choke.
557 CLOSE SHOT. FARRAJ dashes forward. LAWRENCE trips him,
throws him to the ground and holds him down. FARRAJ suddenly
relaxes, his face turned away from LAWRENCE, whose face has
gone old and bitter. The CAMERA begins to move back and upwards.
More and more sand comes into picture. In a futile gesture of
atonement, LAWRENCE brushes sand from FARRAJ's back.
558 LONG SHOT. The two figures. In the background at the head of
the rise, the single camel.
DISSOLVE
559 MED. TRACKING SHOT. The screen is full of whirling white powder ..
Between the gusts we can dimly make out the camel moving forward,
with FARRAJ mounted and LAWRENCE walki.ng. They emerge from
it, with their faces like plaster casts.
560 CLOSE SHOT. FARRAJ looking down. He takes a decision and taps
the camel to kneel. ,------
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561 MED. SHOT. The camel kneeling. LAWRENCE looking at FARRAJ
as though for instructions, but unseeing.
FARRAJ
(hesitant)
Aurens ... Why do you walk?
(LAWRENCE makes no answer.
FARRAJ speaks as though he
had)
. . . But 'Y!!)7, Lord ... ? But there is room
for both;
(sharply)
Aurens!
(the note of fear brings some
return of awareness into
LAWRENCE vs face. Eagerly,
indicating LAWRENCE's feet)
Why, Lord? It serves no purpose --- there
is room for both.
LAWRENCE nods and even smiles a little, as one taking a well
made point. He moves to ride with FARRAJ.
DISSOLVE
562 LONG SHOT. There is a strange drumming on the SOUND 'lrRACK.
A bank of dust sweeping away from us. It discloses LAWRENCE
and FARRAJ on their camel, riding towards us. Above the drumming
we hear the clear voice of the boy and see him point.
FARRAJ
Aurens I •• • Look!
563 LONG SHOT TRACKING. From their viewpoint. A collection of
army hutments and a flagpole. Swirls of dust chase one another.
A frayed halyard drums rhythmically against its blistered flagpole.
(This is what we heard)
564 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. After a glance at LAWRENCE, FARRAJ
takes it upoµ himself to kick the camel into a trot. At once LA WREN CE
accepts it, controlling the camel properly and conscientiously, but
his face does not change.
565: MED. SHOT. CAMERA PANS with the CAMEL, as, at a broken trot,
it rides in among the buildings and halts.
FARRAJ
Aurens?
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566 CLOSE SHOT. But with quick tact he compromises and slips to the
ground without waiting for the camel to kneel.
567 ,.
' MED. SHOT. CAMERA PANS with FARRAJ as he runs to the
principal building.
568 CLOSE SHOT. He goes in, The door swings behind him. It bears
a wooden notice, now split and so faded as to be barely readable
except for one word, in red (now pink) 'WARNING". Under this,
in black (now gray) "These buildings are Army Property. It is
an offence ... " (Here the wording becomes perfectly illegible)
569 CLOSE SHOT. THE NOTICE.
570 CLOSE SHor. LAWRENCE rega-rding the notice on the swinging
door, which we hear banging, as also the slapping of the halyard
and the moan of the wind.
571 CLOSE SHOT. (from his angle) The swinging door.
572 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE, as before, his expression tranced
but with inward concentration, not dreamy,
573 CLOSE SHOT. (froin his angle) The swinging door.·
574 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE, as before.
FARRAJ (on SOUND ~RACK)
Aurens ! Aurens !
FARRAJ causes LAWRENCE'S camel to kneel. Urgent and with a
return of fear, he repeats:
FARRAJ
Aurens!
FARRAJ clashes some of the water into LAWRENCE's face. We
expect. to see LAWRENCE jet){ out of his trance but instead he merely
says. quite .calmly:
LAWRENCE
All right Farraj. It's all right.
And he alights from 1he camel and his expression has not changed and
we know that this was no trance, or if it was, it is one which will
last a lifetime.
575 MED. LONG TRACKING SHOT. He allows FARRAJ, who smiles
uncertainly into his face, to lead him up to and through the swinging , I ,---
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57 5 Continued
576
577 door. (no dotting of "i's" here; he pays it no attention).
MED. SHOT. INSIDE THE HUT, dark after the sunlight. Doors
lead off a dusty central corridor. In the offices we glimpse
remnants of office furniture and curled up dehydrated noti.ces. In
some places the curled sheets of corrugated iron have fallen inwards,
revealing .the sky, so that he passes from shadow to light and into
shadow again. FARRAJ runs ahead and flings open the far door.
LONG SHOT. FARRAJ and LAWRENCE leave the hutment.
FARRAJ dragging him by the hand towards a sandbank in the fore
ground of the picture. As they cli.mb the bank the CAMERA CRANES
BACK and UPWARDS until they come to a halt in CLOSE SHOT against
the blue sky. LAWRENCE stares. From the very faint expression
of his face we perhaps can just ascertain that what he see is a
solution to a problem, and the comm en cement to another.
578 LONG SHOT. The CAMERA is shooting across the Suez Canal
(from the African Bank) on to the small figures of LA WREN CE and
FARRAJ on the far side. After a moment's pause the CAMERA
PANS OFF the TWO FIGURES into a LONG SHOT disclosing the
Canal stretching away into the distance, marvellous in its extent
and its humanity. There is the sound of a motorcycle and we see
a trail of dust fast approaching along the roadway now 1n the fore- ·
ground of picture.
579 CLOSE SHOT. FARRAJ and LAWRENCE. FARRAJ leaps up and
down waving his arms and calling:
FARRAJ
Aye-aye-aye-aye-aye!!
580 LONG SHOT. From FARRAJ's P. 0. V. across the canal we see the
MOTORCYCLIST approaching along the far bank. He begins to
throttle down. · ·
5.81 CLOSE SHOT. The MOTORCYCLIST comes to a halt. He is so
goggled and mufflered as to be anonymous. He wears no helmet
and wears the uniform of a British N. C. 0. with individual variations
which make him as like as posstble, the anonymous figure of LAWRENCE
as we first saw him. He peers across the Canal, then switches off
the engine, pulls the muffler from his mouth, becoming partially
human.
MOTORCYCLIST
(shouting)
Who are you? ( .
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583 LONG SHOT. From the MOTORCYCLIST'S P. 0. V. we see th.e
small figures of LAWRENCE and FARRAJ across the water.
FARRAJ looks at LAWRENCE who does not reply. FARRAJ then
waves his arms in silence.
584 CLOSE SHOT. THE MOTORCYLIST. He calls again.
MOTORCYCLIST
Who are you·? Who are you?
585 LONG SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ insignificant on the far
side. The voice of the MOTORCYCLIST echoes· between the em
bankments.
Who are you? Who are you?
DISSOLVE
586 MED. SHOT. A TRAMCAR rattles its way through a crowded
noisy street in CAIRO. As it passes across the picture it discloses
an ARMY TRUCK followed by a MOTORCYCLIST who is again
goggled and mufflered in anonymity.
587 CLOSE SHOT. In the back of the truck are LA WREN CE and
FARRAJ. The boy is asleep with his mouth open and LAWRENCE
steadies him against the sway of the truck. Bbth have had some
sort of a wash and the dust has been removed from their sun- baked
faces. LAWRENCE idly raises his eyes towards the rear of the
truck.
588 CLOSE SHOT. Through the narrow gap in the flapping awning at
the truck, a CAffiO street, with MOTOR BIKE following.
589 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ. The truck swerves
to the side, and LAWRENCE holds the sagging boy upright.
590 LONG SHOT. The skyline of Cait·o with a British flag in foreground.
591 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ in foreground of picture.
The truck has halted and through the awning in background, we catch
a glimpse of a portico belonging to a very big building. As the
SHOT begins the DRIVER throws down the tailboard with a crash.
FARRAJ struggles out of sleep with a cry of desperate warning.
FARRAJ
Daud!
LAWRENCE looks as though struck. FARRAJ, hearing the mental
echo of his own cry, looks up sha:rply and apprehensively at him. () 0 •'
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DRIVER
(puzzled, to LAWRENCE)
We're here, sir. 116
592 CLOSE SHOT. THE MOTORCYCLIST,. stationary, from behind.
He twists his head (goggles now pushed up to reveal, after all, an
ordinary English face) to see what his strange charges are doing
now.
593 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ have dismounted, and
address themselves to the steps. LA WREN CE keeps one hand on
FARRAJ as though this were the one duty he were sure of.
594 CLOSE SHOT. DRIVER, puzzled, touched, amused, but "keeping
well out if it, " saunters towards hls cab, with one eye on FARRAJ
and LAWRENCE (off screen).
DRIVER
(with curiosity and some
sympathy)
You going in there, sir?
595 MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ. LAWRENCE slows his
pace but does not stop.
LAWRENCE
Yes.
596 CLQSE SHOT. The DRIVER, this not being his problem, nods
and swings hims elf into the cab.
597 MED. SHOT. We hear the truck start up. The CAMERA PANS
AND TRACKS with LAWRENCE and FARRAJ as they climb the last
few steps, cross a long open corridor running the length of the
building, and pass through a large doorway opening out into a patio.
PART of the patio is roped off and by an opening in the center a
PROVOST SERGEANT is seated at a desk. Near him are two M. P.
CORPORALS on duty. TWO MAJORS pass the CORPORALS on their
way out. The CORPORALS salute.
598 MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ wander past the two
CORPORALS. They are surp:dsed~ but one recovers before the other.
CORPORAL
Here!
FARRAJ glances backwards hut LAWRENCE, holding him by the hand, C:
► .
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598 Continued
leads him on past the PROVOST SERGEANT who looks up from his
desk.
PROVOST SERGEANT
Here! You!
LAWRENCE and FARRAJ obediently turn at the PROVOST
SERGEANT's shout. His indignation is softened by amusement
at this bizarre and evidently harmless intrusion.
PROVOST SERGEANT
(rising, quite kindly)
Where the hell dryou think you're going
Mustapha?
599 MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE gestures vaguely towards one of the
corridors leading off the patio. He is not "mi.ckey taking. "
LAWRENCE
Er ... we're thirsty.
The PROVOST SERGEANT approaches, staring hard. His expression
changes. He speaks gently.
PROVOST SERGEANT
Mister Lawrence, ·is it?
Yes. LAWRENCE
PROVOST SERGEANT
(fa.king in his clothes - and
FARRAJ)
Are you going to the Officers' bar, si.r?
LAWRENCE
Yes.
LAWRENCE turns and goes, propelling FARRAJ before him. The
PROVOST SERGEANT is shocked and calls after him:
PROVOST SERGEANT
You can't take h.lm in there, si.r.
FARRAJ turns round again but LAWRENCE does not appear to have
heard anything.
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600 MED. SHOT. The PROVOST SERGEANT and CORPORALS st.are
after them. All are astonished and shocked, but a certain pleasure
begins to dawn within the PROVOST SERGEANT, who can anticipate:
601 LONG SHOT. THE CLUB. A DOZEN OFFICERS seated or standing
at tables, the bar itself vacant. The OFFICERS are conversing
quietly. Among others we see the CLUB SECRETARY from the
billiards sequence. In background LAWRENCE and f ARRAJ enter
and make towards the bar.
One by one the OFFICERS see them and absolute incredulous silence
falls, for they look completely Arab. Nobody moves. The CAMERA
PANS with LAWRENCE and FARRAJ into a CLOSE SHOT as they
come to a standstill in front of the bar. The Arab 'BARTENDER
is flung into instantaneous alarm and embarrassment partly on his
own, and partly on LAWRENCE's behalf, who regards him blankly.
BARTENDER
(leaning forward, urgently
confiding)
No. No. You mu.st --- you must -- no -
no-- no-- no.
(hissing)
Go, Effendi, go!
He glances nervously at the thunderstruck OFFICERS and raises
his voice officiously.
BARTENDER
Get out! You must get out! Get out!
602 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ over the BARTENDER's
shoulder with the OFFICERS in the background. The BARTENDER
makes a move across picture in order to round the bar, but
suddenly LAWRENCE grips him an.d turns him back into his first
position. LAWRENCE's face hegjns to show some sort of response
to his situation. The response is venomous.anger. He speaks
very clear and Oxford in this silence.
LAWRENCE
We want two large glasses of lemonade.
BARTENDER
(utterly lost)
This is a bar for British Officers.
LAWRENCE
(as one for.-whom wit is
an unavoidable burden}
That's all ri.ght; we~re not particular. ( '
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602 Continued
There is a clatter from the background as the SECRETARY gets up
from his chair.
SECRETARY
Lawrence!
He comes up to LAWRENCE and FARRAJ.
Are you off your head!
LAWRENCE looks about him at the decent, puzzled English, faces,
uncomprehending and the ref ore beginning to be indignant. Hatred
begjns to shine in his eyes. The CAMERA begins to track in.
LAWRENCE
No,. oddly enough I'm. not.
One or two more OFFICERS have ri.sento their feet. They are
not enraged but displeased and spontaneously disapproving. The
little oddity with his self regard and cryptic utterances has really
gone too far with this latest escapade. Tolerance must be with
drawn. One of them calls out and others join in, overlapping.
CAPTAIN
?fow look here Lawrence, just clear out
will you!
THE OTHERS
Yes, go on, clear out!
(in a no-nonsense voice)
Get that boy out of here, Lawrence!
(peremptory)
Oh go away, Lawrence.
(wearily)
The SECRETARYplaces a firm grasp on FARRAJ's upper arm, says,
· tight-lipped:
SECRETARY
We'll have this ~ne out, anyway.
LAWRENCE tears the SECRETARY'A hand from FARRAJ and flings
it away. The physical act triggers a more vi.olent vocal reaction
from the OFFICERS.
OFFICERS
Clear out!
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602 Continued
603/
4 OFFICERS (Cont)
Clear off, Lawrence!
Get that wog out of here !
Clear off!
Imshi!
Yes, go on, ImshU
Take that little wog out!
-- the little WOJ !
--little wog !
Imshi, the pair of you!
Imshi! ·
Imshi!
Imshi!
BRIGHTON walks in and stops, frowning and displeased.
BRIGHTON
( cold and sharp)
What's going on?
MED. SHOT. LAWRENCE, FARRAJ and SECRETARY in the
foreground at the bar. BRIGHTON and the OFFICERS in the back
ground. The overlapping babble ceases and there is an awkward
silence as BRIGHTON walks foward to the bar. The SECRETARY
steps back, making way for BRIGHTON as he passes him.
SECRETARY
(murmuring with a nice
blend of discreet indignation)
It's Lawrence, sir.
BRIGHTON stares and stares at LAWRENCE, who turns deliberately
away and addresses the BARTENDER.
LAWRENCE
(softly)
Lemonade, with ice.
The BARTENDER jerks into action. BRIGHTON goes up to LAWRENCE
and barks:
BRIGHTON
Well! Explai.n yourself!
The BARTENDER passes two glasses of lemonade before LAWRENCE.
LAWRENCE passes one to FARRAJJ then hrrns to BRIGHTON, taking
a breath deliberately. r--..
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4
LAWRENCE
We've taken Akaba. 121
BRIGHTON gives an irritable interrogative grunt. The precise
meaning of the words is too outlandish for him to take in.
BRIGHTON
Hm?
Several OFFICERS have gathered round at a discreet distance.
There is a complete silence all round save for the considerable
noise of FARRAJ drinking.
LAWRENCE
(to BARTENDER)
He likes your lemonade.
The content of LAWRENCE's words is still too.unexpected to
be taken in. BRIGHTON wrinkles his brow. He is trying to find
out what LAWRENCE can really be meaning for he is sufficiently
sensitive to see that he means something and something serious.
BRIGHTON
Taken Akaba;? Who has?
LAWRENCE
We have ... Our side in the war has. The
wogs have. We have-.
605/ CLOSE SHOT. BRIGHTON looks at LAWRENCE, hard and intelli-
7 gently, trying to differentiate fact and fantasy.
BRIGHTON
You mean the Turks have gone?
LAWRENCE
No, they're still there but they've no boots.
(he tries for a more ordinary
tone)
Prisoners, sir -- we took them prisoners.
(but his overworked nerves
must unwi.nd)
The entire garrison --
LA WREN CE ( off)
--No, that's not true -we killed some of
them - too many really - manage it better
next time. j (
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608 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE and BRIGHTON
LAWRENCE
Been a lot of killing one way and another.
BRIGHTON's stare is still appraising.
LAWRENCE
Cross my heart and hope to di_e, it's
all perfectly true. 122
609 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE, BRIGHTON and the OFFICERS.
BRIGHTON
It isn't possible..
LAWRENCE
Yes it is·. I did it.
There is a pause. BRIGHTON finds all the OFFICERS looking
at him.
BRIGHTON
You'd better talk to Allenby.
LAWRENCE
(with a flicker of interest)
General Allen by?
BRIGHTON
Yes. He's in command now. Murray's gone.
LAWRENCE
(unwillingly interested, not
flippant)
Well, that's a step in the right direction.
He places his glass on the bar. His hand is shaking violently.
LAWRENCE
But first I want a room. With a bed. With
sheets.
BRIGHTON regards him with some sympathy, and perhaps the begin
nings of admiration.
BRIGHTON
Yes, of course
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609 Continued
610 LAWRENCE
(quiet, but hard, a challenge)
It's for him.
BRIGHTON hesitates, glances at FARRAJ.
BRIGHTON
All right.
Taking the initiativ~,. he leads the way from the bar.
CLOSE· TRACKING SHOT. The CAMERA TRACKS with LAWRENCE,
BRIGHTON and FARRAJ as they ;make their way through the
OFFIC:ERS and tables.
BRIGHTON
(with a sharp glance at LAWRENCE)
You want a bed yourself, don't you?
LAWRENCE
(nods)
See Allenby first, though. Will he see
me? -
BRIGHTON
(looking at him with interest)
I think so.
LAWRENCE
Do that then.
(rubs his jaw, smiles faintly)
I better shave?
BRIGHTON
Yes.
(smiles)
And you'd better get into some trousers.
BRIGHTON nods, smiling at LAWRENCE'S rig, expecting him to
enjoy the preposterousness of it, but LAWRENCE looks at him
unfathomably. His smile fades. He cocks his head and frowns
enquiringly.
611 MED. SHOT. A GROUP OF OFFICERS, standing quite still, staring.
Hold for a moment on the OFFICERS. (
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INTERIOR. GENERAL ALLENBY 'S OFFICE
612 CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY. He is seated at his desk in the office
previously occupied by MURRAY. Most of the furniture has been
changed together with pictures and other ornamentation. On the
wall behind him hangs a calendar depicting month by month a
bucolic England which is no longer, and probably never was. The
office now has an airy atmosphere with everything in apple-pie
order. ALLENBY is a footballer, burly and fit; a gentleman, erect
and sel.f-respecting; a General Officer who has thoroughly assimi
lated power, shrewd, commanding, daring, and humble. He is
reading with quiet concentration a personal dossier. His tone is ·
flat, with no trace of comment, as if it might be a shopping list
613 he is checking.
ALLENBY
... undisciplined, unpunctual, untidy.
The CAMERA TRACKS and :PAN~ very slowly off ALLENBY towards
the opposite side of his desk. In the background we can see seated
DRYDEN (nearest CAMERA) and BRIGHTON.
. . . several languages . . . knowledge of
music . . . literature ...
(he browses)
The CAMERA comes. to rest on a CLOSE SHOT OF LA WREN CE,
still in Arab clothes. He looks across the desk at ALLENBY
cautiously. On the otherwise vacant desk we see three photo
graphs. These are a rubgy team, an English gentlewoman with
a discreet dependent face and a single link of pearls, and a bonny
child on a New Forest pony in front of a country house.
Knowledge of . . . knowledge of ...
CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY. He looks up and it is impossi.ble to
tell from his expression or his voice whether he is satirical.
ALLENBY
You're an interesting man, there's no
doubt about it.
614 CLOSE SHOT. DRYDEN and BRIGHTON. BRIGHTON gives a
quick glance at DRYDEN. DRYDEN feels the look but does not
respond.
615 CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY and LAWRENCE. ALLENBY closes
the dossier and puts it on the desk. Then he speaks, not hectoringly,
not even sharply, but very much in the tone of a good barrister
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eliciting facts.
ALLENBY
Who told you to take Akaba?
LAWRENCE
Nobody.
ALLENBY
--- Sir. 125
He says this after a pause and rather quietly, without a shade of
personal indignation, not insisting on his own rights but gently
indicating that the courtesies are to be observed. 'It shows a
concern not for his own privileges but as it were a fatherly concern
lest LAWRENCE should by his behaviour let himself down.
LAWRENCE
."'!'':"'-SU'.
ALLENBY now turns sideways to LAWRENCE and commences a
sort of forensic examination, his tone being light, quick and
dispassionate. Now the pace goes ding-dong between them.
ALLENBY
Then why did you?
LAWRENCE
Akaba 's important.
ALLENBY
Why is it important?
LAWRENCE
It1s the Turkish route to the Canal.
ALLENBY
Not any more. They're coming through
Beersheba.
LAWRENCE
I know. But we fve gone forward to Gaza.
ALLENBY
So? (
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LAWRENCE
So that left Akaba behind your right.
ALLENBY
True.
LAWRENCE
And it will be further behind your right
when you go for Jerusalem.
ALLENBY
Am I going for Jerusalem?
LAWRENCE
Yes. 126
ALLENBY considers this for a second or two quite immobile, and
it seems that he might be angry.
616 · CLOSE SHOT. BRIGHTON and DRYDEN. DRYDEN glances at
BRIGHTON, who is too pent-up with his own thoughts to notice.
617 CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY over LAWRENCE. After a moment's
consideration ALLENBY smiles gently and quickly, and then: dis
missing the smile, faces LA WREN CE, and leaning forward looks
at him full of keen interest.
ALLENBY
Very well. Akaba behind my right .
. LAWRENCE
It threatened El Arish arid Suez.
Anything else?
618 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE ALLENBY
LAWRENCE
Yes. Akaba's linked with Medina.
ALLENBY ( off)
You think we should shift them out of Medina
now?
LAWRENCE
No. I think we should leave them the.re. 0r '· ) t"' . -~,,,
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619 CLOSE UP. ALLENBY. He looks at LAWRENCE for a second or
two, then relaxes, swivels his chair, and adopts the tone of a
mere equal.
ALLENBY
You acted without orders you know.
620 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE A:t-U) ALLENBY. LAWRENCE smiles.
LAWRENCE
Shouldn't Officers "use their initiative at
all times"?
ALLENBY
Not really ... urs awfully dangerous,_ Lawrence.
LAWRENCE
Yes, I know.
ALLENBY
Already?
LAWRENCE
Yes.
ALLENBY
(suddenly brisk)
I'm promoting you Major ...
LAWRENCE
I don't think that's a very good idea.
ALLENBY
I didn't ask you. I want you to go back and
(deliberately searches for
the most banal phrase)
-- carry on the good work.
LAWRENCE
No thank you, sir.
ALLENBY
Why not?
621 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE over ALLENBY. Now we see LAWRENCE
utterly in the grip of hts contradi.cti.ons. His face works and he twists
slowly about in his chair as he g:ropes for words. (
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LAWRENCE
Well I ... erm ... It' -erm ..• let's see
now ... I --killed -- two people.
And now it comes with a convulsive rush.
I mean two Arabs. One was a boy -- this
was
(in a tone of surprise)
yesterday . • . I led him into a quicksand
• . . the other was a man -- that was, oh let
me see -- before Akaba anyway --I had
to execute him with my pistol . . . there
was something about it I didn't like.
ALLENBY
(watching him carefully)
Well naturally.
LAWRENCE
(staring into ALLENBY's face)
No. Something else.
622 CLOSE UP. ALLENBY
ALLENBY
I see.
(He looks away- he is
uncomfortable)
Well that's all right; let it be a warning. 128
623 CLOSE UP. · LAWRENCE. He is looking at ALLENBY almost
hungrily. His hands are beginning to shake.
LAWRENCE
No. Something else.
ALLENBY (off)
What then?
LAWRENCE
(after a pause)
I enjoyed it.
624 CLOSE UP. ALLENBY's face is aged and gloomy. He comprehends.
Glances at LAWRENCE, and with an almost physical effort slaps a
mask of conventional ignorance and disbelief on his features. C
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625 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE. He drops his eyes and tries to control
his hands which are now shaking violently. He suddenly becomes
aware of the presence of:
626 CLOSE UP. DRYDEN AND BRIGHTON. DRYDEN is watching
LAWRENCE with a deep look of pity and admiration. BRIGHTON's
face is frozen in horror and astonishment.
ALLENBY ( off)
Rubbish. Rubbish and nerves. You're
tired.
627 LONG SHOT. ALLENBY has wheeled round in his chair fo face
LAWRENCE. He now stands up.
ALLENBY
What d'you mean by coming in here dressed
like that? Amateur dramatics?
LAWRENCE has thrown himself back i.n his chair, very upright
under this onslaught of calculated vulgarity, has retreated right
back into the fastness of his glacial nature. His eyes flash contemptuously.
LAWRENCE
Oh yes sir. Entirely.
ALLENBY
(holds out his hand)
Let me see that - hat - or whatever it is.
He takes the kafia and argyl, examining them with apparent interest.
Fascinating gear they wear. How d 'you
think
~ look in this, Harry?
. BRIGHTON
(stiffly)
Damn ridiculous, sir.
ALLENBY
(looking at LAWRENCE and
handing it back quietly)··.
Here, you keep it.
LAWRENCE
(taking it slowly)
What I'm trying to say is ... I ... I don't
think: I'm Tit 'for it? 0
( 627 Continued
ALLENBY
(briskly)
Really? What do you think, Dryden?
DRYDEN
Before he did it, sir, I'd have said it
couldn't be done. 130 ,
DRYDEN'S praise is evidently of no great value to LA\YRENCE.
Brighton? ALLENBY
LAWRENCE
(wryly)
Oh, I know what he thinks.
BRIGHTON
(standing to attention to
emphasise that he speaks
officially)
I think you should recommend a decoration, sir.
I don't think it matters what his motives were.
'Twas a brilliant bit of soldiering.
628 BIG CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE. MUSIC, English theme, softly
commences. The effect of BRIGHTON'S words upon LAWRENCE
is almost of a declaration of love.
629 BIG CLOSE UP. ALLENBY. He watches LAWRENCE covertly
for a moment or two, then raises his eyes towards the door.
if> ALLENBY
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0 (bawling)
Sergeant Maj or !
630 LONG SHOT. There is an immediate answering roar from without.
ALLENBY
Let's have a drink.
DRYDEN
(a little surprised)
Thank you, sir.
ALLENBY
No, no, downstairs.
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630 Continued
DRYDEN and ,.BRIGhTON are surprised --- this rugger tough act
is not usual --- but they catch on.
BRIGHTON
Very good, sir.
The door flies open. A-.veteran REGIMENTAL SERGEANT MAJOR
stands to attention. TEE MUJ::>IC is gathering strength.
R. S. M.
Sir!
ALLENBY
You heard about this, l:>ergeant Major?
(indicating LAWRENCE)
R. SiM.
Yes, Sir!
ALLENBY
What do you think about it't
R. S.M.
Bloody marvellous, sir.
(to LAWRENCE)
Well done sir.
LAWRENCE smiles helplessly, and swallows.
ALLENBY
Thank you l:>ergeant Major.
Sir. R. S. M.
(roars)
(and goes}
ALLENBY
(boisterous)
Come on then !
DRYDEN and BRIGHTON take their cue.
631 CLOSE SHOT: MUSIC CUTS ABRUPTLY. LAWRENCE and ALLEN BY.,
LAWRENCE, though he knows he is lost, must register his protest,
tnen slowly -- rises from his chair.
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LAWRENCE
(rather bitterly into ALLENBY's face)
You're a clever man, sir.
ALLEN.BY·
(he has the courage and takes
the trouble to answer this
personally, not officially)
No, but I know a good thing when I see one.
That's fair, surely? 132
MUSIC RISU{G AGAIN. THE CAMERA PANS with AL~ENBY, as
he leads the way to the door and flings it open. : '
632 MED.SHOT:INT ... 'OUTER OFFICE. THE CAMERA PAN~ with
ALLE.NBY:and LAWRENCE as they cross the OUTER OFFICE. An
A. D. C. hurries over from a desk and falls in behind BRIGHTON and
DRYDEN. The CAMERA comes to rest on a close up of the beaming
R. S. M. , his hand quivering at the salute as LAWRENCE and
ALLENBY pass by. He lowers his hand and grins after them.
633 CLOSE SHOT. GALLERY CORRIDOR. The CAMER:A js .shooting
on ALLEN BY as he leads the GROUP out on to a gallery corridor
on the first floor overlooking the gardens. The CAMERA PANS
with them and TRACKS behind, following on their backs. ALLEN BY
·is deliberately informal (e.g. he is careful that they shall individually
stroll, not march in step) We cannot hear what is being said but we
can see that it is LAWRENCE who talks -- with some gesticulation
--- and ALLENBY who listens. They pass a PAIR OF OFFICERS
who salute the G. O. C. The CAM:ERA CENTRES ON THEM as they pass,
PANNING into a shot of their receding figures as they stand looking
after the GROUP in amazement .
634 REVERSE CLQ<3E TRACKING SHOT. ALLENBY and his PARTY
ALLEN.BY
Look here now. If I'm to break through
0J to Jerusalem, I must concentrate ... not
dissipate.
0 LAWRENCE
Clausewitz.
ALLENBY
(raises lits eyebrows, smiles)
D'you know a better?
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635 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. An ELDERLY COLONEL comes out of
an office as the CAMERA APPROACHES him. He salutes hastily
towards CAMERA as it PANS with him into -t.CLOSE TRACKING
SHOT OF ALLENBY and LAWRENCE as they pass him by.
During the following dialogue we see him speak to the A. D. C.
in dumb show enquiring the meaning of the outlandish apparition
by the GENERAL' s side.
LAWRENCE
If I'm to occupy them while you're
breaking through, I must dissipate
not concentrate.
ALLENBY
(smiling)
Marshall Saxe.
LAWRENCE
Do you know a better?
They both laugh.
636 CLOSE TR.A,-CKING SHOT. GALLERY LANDING ON TO:J? OF ST AIRS.
The CAMERA is approaching a group of half a dozen soldiers in
charge of an N. C. O. who have just reached the top of a flight qf
stairs leading tm to the gallery. The N. C o. calls them noisily
to attention as the CAMERA STOPS TRACKING and ALLEN BY
and LAWRENCE enter picture. ALLENBY salutes and leads the
way between the soldiers to the stairs, the men staring after him.
637 CLOSE SHOT TOP FLIGHT OF STAIRS ALLENBY and
LAWRENCE briskly descending the stairs .
. ALLENBY
Well, if I fighLlike Clausewitz and you
fight like Saxe ---
LAWRENCE
We should do very well, shouldn't we?
They laugh again as they move on out of bottom of picture and
DRYDEN and BRIGHTON step in behind. DRYDEN raises his eye
brows, amused not so much by the pleasantry as by the Old Man's
whole-hearted adoption of his avuncular role.
638 MED. SHO'l'. The MUSIC RISES to full pitch as ALLENBY and
LAWRENCE walk on down the stairs. A PAIR OF JUNIOR OFFICERS
flatten against the wall -in awe an.d amazement as they approach. 0
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639 CLOSE SB.OT ALLEN BY and LAWRENCE as they pass the TWO
OFFICERS. LAWRENCE' s eyes slide over towards them to register
the effect of his passing in such company, and ALLEN .BY' s eyes
slide over to register him dojng so. At~0TBER OFFICER flattens
against the wall as LAWRENCE looks upwards.
640 CLOSE SHOT GROUP OF MEN at the top of the stairs looking down-
wards as others join them from behind.
641 LONG SHOT From above we see ALLEN.BY and LAWRENCE descending
· the LAST FLIGHT OF STAIRS. SMALL GROUPS of MEN in the hall:;.
way and the OFFICERS on the 'stairs stand like statues as the GROUP
passes on out of the picture.
INT GROUND FLOOR HALLWAY AND STAmS/GALLERY CORRIDOR
642 MED. SHOT. ALLENBY and LAWRENCE swing on to the ground floor
gallery and make for the ,entrance hall. MEN in GROUPS, MEN
walking and MEN coming up the steps slam to attention as the
G.O. C. approaches.
ENTRANCE HALL.
643 The CAMERA PANS with the GROUP as ALLEN BY leads the way into
the hall. The PROVOST SERGEANT leaps up from behind his desk
and bellows the CORPORALS to attention.
644 CLOSE SHOT. The PROVOST SERGEANT and the CORPORALS as the
GROUP passes in front of them, their faces a study.
645 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. ALLENBY and LAWRENCE. LAWRENCE's
expression is of course excited, but not over-excited, rather it is
deeply happy, as of a young man who relaxes properly in the merited
approval of a respected father.
THE OFFICERS' BAR
646 LONG SROT. ALLENBY and his GROUP enter the Officer's Bar ..
The OFFICERS, taken aback by ALLENBY' s presence, leap to their
feet.
ALLENBY
Easy gentlemen.! Please!
Re takes off his Sam Browne as they hesitatingly sit. (Or s,ome of them
do)
ALLENBY to CAPTAIN, pleasantly:
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646 Continued
647 ALLENBY
Will, you, give us something to drink?
CAPTAIN
Of course, sir!
Tracy. ALLENBY
(to A. D ·. C. )
TRACY moves to the bar and orders drinks in a murmur. ALLENBY
smiles round convivially, seemingly unaware of the thunderstruck
silence.
ALLENBY
I'm here on the :invitation of Major
Lawrence.
He nods a little as though to say that the invitation of such a well
known and popular character will of course make everything acceptable.
There is a beautifully calculated emphasis on °Major" and the effect
of the speech is to deepen the thunderstruck silence.
CLOSE SHOT Satisfied, ALLEN BY turns to LAWRENCE, apparently
having just noticed the view through the windows enclosing the sunlit
patio.
ALLENBY
Shall we go outside?
The CAMERA PANS as ALLENBY leads his party out through the
French windows towards an. informal. group of chairs by the side of
a small fountain and pool with goldfish.
The OFFICERS crowd after them lining the windows to look out.
The A. D. C. appears behind them with a tray and a passage is
made for him.
648 CLOSE SHOT. The CAMERA is·_ shooting from the patio through
the window on to the OFFICERS' faces. They are joined by the
CLUB SECRETARY, who has missed the foregoing proceedings
an.dis at aloss to understand the commotion until he edge.s jnto
CLOSE UP and sees, to his astonishment:
649 CLOSE SB.OT. ALLEN BY and HIS GROUP seated by the fish pond.
Throughout what follows LAWRENCE is absorbed. ALLEN BY
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649 Continued
650 appears to .be, BRIGHTON looks uneasy, DRYDEN smiles a little,
the A. D. C. is out of his depth, and looks carefully non-committal.
In the background the OFFICERS at the windows surrounding the patio
begin to break up but throughout the following scene they come and go,
and every face we see looks out.
ALLENBY
(with no trace of comment in his tone)
So you'll hold down the Turkish Desert Army.
LAWRENCE
Yes.
ALLENBY
. (i:iow:infuses a shade of mockery}
With a thousand .Arabs?
CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE. He commences with enthusiasm and ends
fanatically, leaning forward almost as if it were ALLEN BY he were
threatening. '
LAWRENCE
A thousand Arabs mean.s a thousand knives;
delivered anywhere, day or night. It means
a thousand camels; that means a thousand
packs .of high explosive and a thousand crack
rifles. We can cross Arabia while Johnny
Turk' s still turning round. I' 11 smash his
railways and while he!s mending·them r11
smash them somewhere else.
651 CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY
LAWRENCE (off)
In thirteen weeks I can have Arabia in chaos!
ALLEN BY replies with deliberate. mildness, as one clearing up a
small point of infoi;-mation.
ALLENBY
You are going back then?
652 MED SHOT: . LAWRENCE is given a moment's blank pause. . Then
he laughs, and runs over ALLENBY with equivocal self-mocking
charm. . t
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LAWRENCE
Yes. Of course I'm going back.
ALLENBY
Hm. If we can see it, so can the Turks.
If he finds he's using four Divisions to
fend off a handful of bandits, he'll· .withdraw.
LAWRENCE
He daren't withdraw. Arabia's part of his
. Empire. If he gets out now he knows he' 11
never get back again~
BRIGHTON
I wonder who will ...
LAWRENCE
No-one will. Arabia's for the Arabs now. 137
There is no response. ALLENBY and DRYDEN drink. LAWRENCE
looks from one to the other.
LAWRENCE
That's what I told them anyway. That's what
they think, and that's why they' re fighting.
ALLENBY
(deadpan in the silence)
Oh surely.
He throws a small piece of potato-crisp '.into the fountain. The fish
swim for it. LAWRENCE looks down into his drink.
LAWRENCE
(slowly)
They've only one suspicion; that we'll let
them move the Turks out and then move in
ourselves. I've told them that that's false,
that we have no ambitions ilJ-Arabia.
· (suddenly he looks up,at ALLENBY
. with great penetrat.i.on)
Have we?
ALLENBY
( caught a little off ~.guard)
I'm not a politician, thank God. Have we
ambitions in A.r.a.b.'ia Dryden? r(~
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652. Continued
653 DRYDEN
(flickers a little)
Difficult question, sir.
ALLENBY smiles very charmingly at LAWRENCE and spreads his
hands, inviting him to sympathise with the simple soldier in the
hands of the diplomats. But LAWRENCE won't have it.
CLOSE UP. .LAWRENCE
LAWRENCE
(very steadily, to ALLENBY)
I want to know sir, if I can tell them in your
name, we have no ambitions in Arabia.
654 CLOSE UP. Cornered, ALLENBY hesitates only fractionally before
he does his duty. He plonks down his glass.
ALLENBY
Certainly.
655 .MED PANNIN'G SHOT. The OFFICERS gathered alo~gthe windows
of the club, . staring.
656 CLOSE SHOT. The SECRETARY, glancing to his right and left,
realises the indecorum of it. He leaves the window; but is drawn~
back. His expression is not now one of -:rather comic amazement.
Nor is his frown the product of disapproval, but of simple mental 1
effort. If it's all right by ALLEN BY, it's all right by him. He is
trying to understand.
INT. OFFICERS' BAR. PATIO.!
657 CLOSE SHOT ALLENBY and LAWRENCE lean forward as they
bargain. BRIGHTON and A. D. C. watch fascinated. DRYD~N
studies his fingers.
C: LAWRENCE
:tC;
0 Two thousand small arms not enough.
1 need five.
ALLENBY
Right.
LAWRENCE
Money. It'll have to be sovereigns. They
don't like paper. \ !
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ALLENBY
(a little more cautiously)
Right.
LAWRENCE
Instructors for the Lewis guns.
ALLENBY
Right.
LAWRENCE
More money.
ALLENBY
How much more?
LAWRENCE
(thinks)
Twenty:.five thousand now. A lot more
later. ·
ALLENBY
Dryden?
DRYDEN
It can be done, sir.
LAWRENCE
.A couple of armoured cars?
Right. ALLENBY
(after a hesl.tation)
LAWRENCE
and .Fielli Artillery.
Right! ALLENBY
(pauses) 139
ALLENBY springs to his feet as he says 1t so that the word is ambiguous
in intention. DRYDEN, BRIGHTON and the A. D. C. rise with him.
LAWRENCE too, but more slowly. ALLEN.BY, bucltlingslowlyon his Sam
Browne, moves away from LAWRENCE towards the bar and deliberately
raising his voice to be heard through the open French windows, says: I
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657 Continued
658
659 ALLENBY
I'm going to give you every blessed thing I
can Major Lawrence, because I know you'll
use it. Congratulations and thank you!
He walks briskly through the French windows calling to the OFFICERS
as he does so:
ALLENBY
_Thank youfor your hospitality gentlemen!
He goes, followed by BRIGHTON, DRYDEN and the A. D. C.;
MED. CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE stands by the fountain looking after
· them, .. smilingt "His ~ye is caught by:
MED.. CLOSE SHOT The YOUNG OFFICERS are now openly crowding
round the windows of the bar looking at him. The MUSIC begins -to
well up again.
660 CLOSE UP: ~AWRENCE. His smile fades to an apprehensive
stillness.
661 CLOSE UP. A GROUP OF FACES peering at LAWRENCE through
the glass.
662. REVERSE SHOT. Through a foreground of heads we see LAWRENCE
in LONG SHOT through the glass. He stands regarding his onlookers
with the same mocking, hopeless and stoical expression which we saw
at the beginning of the film. He fingers his Arab garments, then,
with a quick flip, he twirls the end of his abaya around his right hand
--- as he did in the robing scene --- and walks towards the French
windows. The· CAMERA PANS and TRACKS across the heads and
backs of the OFFICERS as they change position to watch him coming;
we cannot yet gauge their attitude, for they stand back leaving a distance
between' themselves and LAWRENCE as he comes through the windows
and enters the bar.
663 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE as he comes to a standstill. He raises
his hand to adjust his argy I.
664 REVERSE SHOT. LAWRENCE's head in the foreground with the
OFFICERS in the background. (to be grouped and arranged to
recall as closely as possible the shot in which ALI presented the
robes surrounded by the smil:in.g RAIDING PARTY). One or two of
the OFFICERS essay a smile. They b~gin to come forward underneath
the MUSIC. One or two rather sbeepii:.hly and tentatively raise their
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664 Continued
glasses to him. THE CAMERA STARTS TO CRANE UP AND BACK.
Thep, suddenly they come forward quickly, smiling and congratulatory.
As the CAMERA LIFTS AWAY, we see LAWRENCE begin patted on
the back, congratulated, his hand shaken, a drink offered --- and
refused. He shrinks away from them as best he can, fending them off
with a smile which is so superficial, so withdrawn, so almost spinster
ish as to be a repellent, not a real smHe at all. They continue to surge
about him and the music continues very loudly, until suddenly:
MUSIC STOPS.
GALLERY CORRIDOR:
665 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT: ALLENBY, DRYDEN and BRIGHTON.
They are walking back along one of the silent corridors. This time
they walk briskly and in step. Their steps ecbo and they do not
look at one another.
DRYDEN
Are you really going to give them artillery
sir?
BRIGHTON
I was wondering that. sir. Might be
deuced difficult to get it back again.
DRYDEN
(softly)
Give them artillery and you've made them
independent.
ALLENBY
Then I can't give them artillery can I?
DRYDEN
(deprecatingly) ·
For .you to say, sir.
ALLENBY
No .it's not. I've got orders to obey,
thank God . . . Not like that poor devil 1
(jerkfog hi.s head backwards)
He' ·s riding the whirlwind.
DRYDEN
. (dryly)
Let's hope we' re not:. I
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666 MED. SHOT Shooting on their backs as they enter picture and walk
off into EXTREME LONG SHOT down the corridor.
FADE OUT
END OF PART ONE
INTERMISSION
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PART II
1 CLOSE SHOT BENTLEY
He is sitting in the stern of a long boat, leaving in the distance a
small and rusty coastal steamer with one or two dilapidated lighters
about it. At his feet are a pair of leather travelling bags. Jerking
awkwardly to the motion of the beat (it is a rowing boat; we hear the
oars) festooned with camera cases, dressed in a light suit and trilby
hat, he is an incongruous9 even absurd figure. But he makes no .
attempt to be less so. He has been in unlikelier situations before and
will again. Clutching the gunwhale with one hand he examines the
approaching shore steadily. His tough9 alert and cynically humorous
face is alive with curiosity. This shot lasts no longer than is needed
to take it in, whereupon:
2 MEDIUM SHOT THE BOAT GROUNDS
3 The Arab ROWERS skip from it and haul it up the beach a little.
BENTLEY superintends the landing of his scanty baggage. His
attitude to the Arab is that of neither the sahib nor the humanitarian,
but simply of a rather graceless man who wants his bags. The two
cases are shouldered by TWO ARABS and he sets off after them up
the beach.
MEDIUM LONG SHOT from behind BENTLEY and BEARERS, in
FOREGROUND
We see the seaward fringe of the village-town of Akaba among its
scruffy palm trees. The same dilapidated buildings as before and
among them a few indolent MEN and donkeys and unoccupied
CHILDREN. But coming down the beach in the contrary direction
is a file of ragged STEVEDORES, bearing handsomely woven camel
bags, inlaid boxes, and rolled carpets. BENTLEY'S BEARERS
pause. At the end of the file comes SELilv1 (the RECITER). Without
ceremony, Bentley's bags are dumped and his MEN rush to help
quarrelsomely in the stowing of the camel bags, etc. in the boat.
BENTLEY is unruffled by the insult to himself, but sharply curious.
He accosts SELIM, raising his hat.
BENTLEY
'Scuse me, friend. Who do these bags
belong to?
SELIM looks at him gravely. Then:
SELIM
To Prince Feisal. r
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II-2
3 Continued
4 BENTLEY grunts. A thought strikes him. A knowing smile.
BENTLEY
You're not Prince Feisal by any chance?
SELIM is not shocked but is interested by such ample ignorance.
SELIM
No.
BENTLEY
You know him though?
(indicating the baggage)
SELIM
He is my master. I am his servant.
BENTLEY nods comprehendingly and lugs a business card from a
pocket. In the act of offering it he pauses and with dreadful tact:
BENTLEY
Can you read?
SELIM flickers him a look of mild surprise. Then, having read the
card, he beckons silently and starts away up the beach, BENTLEY
following.
CUT
INT. FEISAL'S QUARTERS IN AKABA
Almost stripped of furnishings. In the fore ground, FEISAL is
examining BENTLEY's card. In background, BODYGUARDS
carry out some more camel bags. A SERVANT places a metal
coffee set conveniently to hand by a window embrasure with a seat
in it. FEISAL hands back the card. BENTLEY says, wagging the
card before putting it away.
BENTLEY
The "Chicago Courier" is my own
particular paper, but my work is syndicated throughout America.
FEISAL
I understood so from your letter. I am
glad we effected our meeting, Mr. Bentley. 0
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4 Continued
He gestures and they both sit in the embrasure. The window over
looks the courtyard. FEISAL smiles:
FEISAL
Now ••. ?
BENTLEY
Where can I find Major Lawrence?
FEISAL I
(the smile going)
Is that what you have come for?
BENTLEY
(covering up)
Not altogether sir, no ...
FEISAL
(dry)'
Well you will find Major Lawrence with
.!!!!_ army Mr. Bentley.
BENTLEY
That's. what I meant sir. Where will I
find your army?
FEISAL
I don't know.
BENTLEY stares.
Last week they were near El Ghira.
Ghira~ BENTLEY
(incredulous horror)
FEISAL
(smiling)
Oh yes. I fear you have a long journey.
Can you ride a camel?
BENTLEY
I've never tried.
FEISAL
Take a mule. If I were you I should try
Buldulla. Avoid Malaal - the Turks are there. .CJ
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BENTLEY
In Malaal now? They move fast.
FEISAL
They do. But not so fast as we do you
will find.
(he hesitates, then says:)
MyseJf, I am going to Cairo, as you know.
Yes. BENTLEY
(looks up from his pad;
he has caught the change
of tone instantly)
FEISAL
There is work for me there of a different
kind.
BENTLEY
Yes.
FEISAL feels it is now BENTLEY's turn, and keeps silent.
BENTLEY amplifies his last word.
I understand that you've been given no
artillery.
FEISAL
That is so.
BENTLEY
You're handicapped.
FEISAL
(deprecatingly)
It . . • restricts us to small things.
BENTLEY
It's intended to. II-4
There can be no mistaking this. FEISAL addresses him very
directly:
FEISAL
Do you know General Allenby?
__J (
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BENTLEY
Watch out for Allenby. A slim customer.
FEISAL
(inclines politely)
Excuse me?
BENTLEY
A \clever man.
FEISAL
(the scholar for
a moment)
"Slim customer"; very good.
(to BENTLEY)
I shall certainly "watch out for" him.
(he considers, then says:)
You are being very ... sympathetic,
Mr. Bentley.
BENTLEY
(with that curious sincere
insincerity of the news
hawk on the job)
Your Highness, we Americans were once II-5
a Colonial people. We naturally sympathize
with any people anywhere who are struggling
for their freedom.
FEISAL doesn't even pretend to consider this as a serious motive.
FEISAL
Very gratifying.
BENTLEY
(laughs, a genuine im
pulsive laugh of sheer
amusement and appreciation)
Also, my interests
are the same as yours,
sir. You want your story told. I badly
want a story to tell.
FEISAL
(is amused and approving
in his turn)
Ah. Now you are "talking turkey" are you not? ('
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4 Continued
And now they are both amused, and surprised to find how well they
are getting on together, each in his own way being a shrewd man and
liking shrewdness in others. FEISAL rises swiftly from his chair
and walks about a little, cheerful.
FEISAL
Well, Mr. Bentley, I will give you a
guide. And a letter. And before I
leave here ...
(he breaks off and
consults a fine gold
watch, pursing his lips)
. . • • Ah which must be presently . . . I
will have some facts and f i.gures put on
paper for you. You will find that we have
done many things, small but many. You
know of course that we are destroying the
Turkish railways ..•
BENTLEY
(head bent, scribbling)
Yes, sir. Major Lawrence is in charge of
all this is he?
FEISAL
(pauses and looks at the
bent head with some
coldness)
My army is made up of Tribes. The Tribes
are .led by the Tri.bal leaders.
BENTLEY
(looks up; insistently)
Your people do think very highly of Major
Lawrence though?
Yes. FEISAL
(sharply)
(he goes to the window
and looks out)
And rightly. · In this country, Mr. Bentley,
the man who gives victory in battle is prized ...
(sadly)
beyond every other man ...
(he is silent for a moment
and then murmurs,
mindless of the repetition)
-------- ·····•••··•···· ··-················-···· ·•-······-············ ·-···-·--~·-·-·--·-···--------C
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FEISAL (Cont)
Myself I am going to Cairo ...
(abstractedly he returns
and sits~ facing BENTLEY.
His eye lights upon the pad
and this draws his attention
back from his own thoughts)
One figure I can give you from my head;
because it never leaves my head. Since
starting this campaign four months ago we
have lost thirty-seven wounded, one hundred
and fifty-six dead. n-7
BENTLEY is scribbling this down but does a horrified double take.
You remark the disproportion between
our dead and wounded.
BENTLEY
(wondering, even awed)
Yes; four times as many.
FEISAL
That is because those too badly woundc.!d to
bring away, we ourselvesld.11. We leave
no wounded for the Turks.
BENTLEY
(gently)
You mean ... ?
FEISAL
I mean we leave no wounded for the Turks.
(more moderately)
In their eyes we are not soldiers but rebels.
And rebels, wounded or whole are not
protected by the Geneva Code, and are treated
..• harshly.
BENTLEY
How harshly?
FEISAL
More harshly than I 'hope you can imagine.
BENTLEY
I see. (
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FEISAL
Our own prisoners, Mr. Bentley, are
taken care of, until the British can relieve
us of them, according to the Code. I
should like you to notice that.
BENTLEY
(scribbling)
I do, sir.
(off-hand again)
Is that the influence of Major Lawrence? Il-8
This time FEISAL's eyes snap with a direct anger and jealousy.
FEISAL
Why should you suppose so?
BENTLEY
(a bit thrown at thus
receiving for the first
time the full impact of
Royal personality)
Well I ... it's just ... I heard in Cairo,
that the Major has a . • . horror of bloodshed.
FEISAL
That is exactly so. With Major Lawrence,
mercy is a passion. With me it is merely
good manners. You may judge which
motive is the morereliable.
(he half pulls out the
watch again)
And now perhaps ...
BENTLEY
(rising immediately)
Sure. Thank you, sir.
(he moves away
towards the door)
D'you think you'll be able to manage the
letter and ...
FEISAL
(quiet reproof)
I will do everything that I have said,
Mr. Bentley.
BENTLEY, a bit rebuffed, nods smiling and goes to the doorway
where he is arrested by: (.
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FEISAL
If •••
BENTLEY turns.
You will tell me truly the nature of
your interest in my people, and in
Major Lawrence. II-9
FEISAL is serious, but BENTLEY grins disarmingly, like a boy
caught out.
BENTLEY
It's very simple, sir. I'm looking for a
hero.
FEISAL
(is amused)
Indeed? You do not seem a romantic man?
BENTLEY
Oh no.
(again the "sincerity")
But certain influential men back home
believe the time has come for America to
add her weight to the ... the patriotic
struggle against Germany ... and Turkey.
Now, I have been sent to find material which
will show our people that this war is ...
(he hesitates)
FEISAL
Enjoyable?
BENTLEY
Hardly that, sir. But to show it in its
more adventurous aspects. After all your
Highness, war does wear such an aspect.
Nobody deplores it more than ...
FEISAL is looking out of the window again. He interrupts flatly.
FEISAL
You are looking for a figure who will draw
your country towards war?
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BENTLEY
(simply; hence with
some dignity)
All right, yes.
FEISAL
Aurens is your man. 11-10
CUT
5 1ST CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE and FAR.RAJ waiting by the plunger.
Train whistle over. (Carry through to pressing plunger and
. reacting to explosion).
6 2ND (SHOT) LONG SHOT: THE TRAIN chugging along the line.
7 1ST CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE'S .HANDS pressing the plunger.
8 2ND EXPLOSION goes up in front of train.
9 2ND CLOSE SHOT. THE SKY . . • . THE DEBRIS from the explosion
flying upwards.
10 2ND MEDIUM SHOT: THE TRAIN leaving the rails and plunging over
the embankment.
11 1ST CLOSE SHOT: AUDA reacting.
12 2ND CLOSE SHOT: THE ENGINE slithers towards camera and
obscures it with dust.
13 1ST CLOSE UP. A CAMERA. THE SHUTTER CLICKS, the camera
is lowered disclosing BENTLEY.
14 2ND LONG SHOT: from top of dune the front three carriages derail.
15 2ND MEDIUM SHOT: A LINE OF ARAB FACES appearing over the
top of dune.
16 2ND MEDIUM SHOT: ONE OF THE CARRIAGES looms up above the
engine as steam starts to fill the screen.
17 1ST CLOSE SHOT: BRIGHTON and ALI. They are on the turret
of an ARMOURED CAR in foreground of picture. In the background
is the second ARMOURED CAR and a group of CAMELS and HORSES.
There is a whistling noise and debris starts to fall.
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18 1ST EXTREME LONG SHOT: Disclosing the geography of the whole
scene. ARABS lining the dune in foreground. The TRAIN in its
last movements in the background DEBRIS falling on the dune. A
LEWIS GUNNER opens fire.
19 2ND CLOSE SHOT: A line of ARAB LEWIS GUNNERS open fire.
20 2ND CLOSE SHOT: A TURKISH MACHINE GUN NEST at the rear of
the train replying.
21 2ND CLOSE SHOT. ANOTHER LINE of ARAB: LEWIS GUNNERS
firing continuously.
22 2ND MEDIUM SHOT·: THE. TRAIN ·shuddering under the impact of
the bullets .
23 1ST CLOSE UP: BENTLEY, he takes another picture.
24 2ND CLOSE UP. AN ARAB LEWIS GUNNER firing anq panning.
25 2ND CLOSE SHOT. A LINE OF BULLETS splash clouds of yellow
chips from the planking on the side of a carriage. A TURKISH
OFFICER fires a pistol from one of the windows.
26 1ST. CLOSE SHOT: AUDA he pushes an Arab Lewis gunner out of
the way, takes over the gun himself and fires.
27 2ND CLOSE SHOT: A BODY falls through picture across a carriage
window reflecting sky. The WINDOW shatters the reflection gone
we now catch a glimpse of a bloody hP-ad slumping back inside the
carriage.
28 1ST CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE and BENTLEY. LAWRENCE
watched closely by BENTLEY, reacts dead pan to the killing.
LAWRENCE glances towards the Lewis gunners.
29 1ST CLOSE SHOT: A LINE OF ARAB LEWIS GUNNERS (roughly
from LA WRENCES P. O. V. ) their faces tranced with slaughter.
30 1ST CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE AND BENTLEY (SAME AS 13)
LAWRENCE
(yelling above din)
"STOP".
The racket continues1 he rises up out of picture.
31 1ST LONG SHOT: LAWRENCE frightfully exposed, steps up over
the rim of the dune. He fires a VEREY PISTOL along the ridge.
--------,.-.J. I
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32 1ST CLOSE SHOT: THE BEDOUIN LEWIS GUNNERS exactly as
before.
33 2ND CLOSE SHOT: THE REAR MACHINE GUN NEST on the train.
34
35
36 The DEAD bodies of the TURKISH GUNNERS sprawled over the
sandbags which are being spattered by bullets.
1ST CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE. He crams another cartridge into
his VEREY PISTOL and fires again.
1ST CLOSE SHOT: BENTLEY watching him as the firing continues.
1ST LONG SHOT: LAWRENCE dashes down the dune in front of the
Lewis gunners, between the train and his o,m men, just one or two
of whom are sufficiently arrested by the sight to cease fire. HE
FIRES ANOTHER VEREY LIGHT at a low angle almost into their
faces.
37 1ST CLOSE SHOT:. LAWRENCE. HE shouts his words lost in the
still continuing racket.
LAWRENCE
Stop it ..• Stop it.
38 1ST CLOSE SHOT: A GROUP OF LEWIS GUNNERS around AUDA.
Raggedly they cease fire, some rising to their feet.
39 CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE. The racket dies away.
40
41
42
43 LAWRENCE
(with a violent gesture)
Come on then.
He starts to move towards the train.
LONG SHOT: THE BEDOUIN rise (AUDA ALREADY UP) AND rush
down the slope overtaking LAWRENCE towards the train.
CLOSE PANNING SHOT: LAWRENCE. THE BEDOUIN rushing past
him on either side. He walks after them as BENTLEY runs into
picture following· him with interesto
LONG SHOT: WITH ENGINE IN FOREGROUND. An avalanche of
BEDOUIN reach the train and swarm over it anyhow.
MEDIUM TRACKING SHOT: LAWRENCE and BENTLEY.
LAWRENCE seemingly unaware of BENTLEYS presence, walks
through the wreckage around the engine. DEAD and DYING can
be seen in the background as the CAMERA TRACKS into a position C
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43 Continued
disclosing the other side of the train. (Possibly introduce the
TURKISH OFFICER and DEAD SOLDIERS).
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT: LAWRENCE reacting to the destruction.
MEDIUM SHOT. INSIDE THE PULLMAN. A GROUP OF BEDOUIN
IN THE DINING CAR. One is collecting an armful of FINE LINEN
TABLE CLOTHS. Another CUTLERY and silver plated FLOWER
HOLDERS. The STEWARD lies unconscious, his boots are removed.
TWO TURKISH OFFICERS lie huddled together as they died. A
SWORD and CAVALRY COAT are removed from each of them.
(Simultaneous looting to be worked out on the set).
MEDIUM SHOT: THE KITCHEN of the dining car; a CHEF doubled
·over unconscious. The 'BEDOUIN collect a treasure trove of
shining copper pans, tureens, spirit kettles, flambeaux, hot plates,
ladles and a splendid tea urn.
MEDIUM SHOT - TRACKING (Camera tracking from rear of train
towards the engine). CAMERA TRACKS with AUDA as he makes a
· tour of inspection along the train. ARABS gone quite mad, are
rushing about at top speed. Some are shinning up into the compart
ments through the windows~ some beating in the already smashed doors,
some already in are throwing trunks, valises, suitcases, from the
windows. Passengers, some incongruously dressed in city clothes
tumble out onto the track and run aimlessly away. AUDA draws
level with the Pullman and almost immediately becomes entangled in
a shower of white tablecloths thrown down from above, he looks
towards:
LAWRENCE (P. 0. V. AUDA) He has scrambled up on to the top of
the wreckage and now stands there, hands on hips smiling down.·.
CLOSE SHOT: AUDA.
AU~A
Aurens.
The cry is taken up but not yet like a full adulation or chanting. CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE against the blue sky; reacting to the
ovation.
MEDIUM SHOT: (the yelling more distant continues on the sound
track) The Turkish Officer
by the train on all fours the screen dark.
He looks with shaking venom at: r-·-. ·-· --·---·---··-·-·
( '.
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MEDIUM SHOT: THE TURKISH OFFICER in the foreground of the
picture. LAWRENCE on top of the train in the background.
LAWRENCE is white and gold against the blue sky1 the incarnation of
youth and success. The ruined OFFICER shakily raises his pistol.
CLOSE SHOT: THE SCREEN DARK. THE OFFICER takes aim and
fires.
CLOSE SHOT • BRIGHT. LA WREN CE is pitched from his feet and
rolls off the carriage away from the Bedouin.
CLOSE SHOT: AUDA reacting to Lawrences fall and hurrying out of
picture towards the engine.
CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE in the last stages of his fall from the
carriage roof. He comes to a standstill at the foot of embankment.
LAWRENCE
Good. Good. Good.
He gulps for breath and wrenches himself upright.
Half laughing, as one who takes a rough joke in good part, he
clambers up the embankment to the side of the carriage from which
he fell. There is the sound of a SHOT.
CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE. A BULLET SPLINTERS the side of the
carriage next to him. He stops, staring gravely towards
MEDIUM SHOT: (LAWRENCES p.a. v.) DARK. The TURKISH
OFFICER (the distance about 40 yards) shakily raises his pistol
again, his expression one of desperate longing, his breath coming
in sobs.
CLOSE SHOT: LAWRENCE. He stands motionless regarding the
TURKISH OFFICER. There is the sound of a third shot as it
ricochets past him.
CLOSE UP: THE TURKISH OFFICER staring at LAWRENCE. He
prepares himself for another shot and fires again.
CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE. A SOUND of splintering glass.
LAWRENCE will not move.
MEDIUM LONG SHOT: LAWRENCE in foreground .of picture.
AUDA comes round the locomotive in the background. He
approaches the TURKISH OFFICER unseen. The TURKISH
OFFICER fires again. -·--· ·-·1
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BIG CLOSE UP: LAWRENCE. It is not part of the bargain he has
made with himself to warn his poor enemy in danger.
BIG CLOSE UP: THE TURKISH OFFICER now weeping, holds up the
pistol, gripping his wrist with the other hand. A shadow falls upon
him, he turns slowly.
44·. QUICK EXTREME CLOSE SHOT - ANGLING UP POV TURKISH
OFFICER. AUDA swings his sword down into the CAMERA!
45 CLOSE SHOT -BENTLEY peeps round the side of the carriage
where LAWRENCE is, staring, off.
BENTLEY
Jimminy?
(he looks at LAWRENCE.
With tough, even pleased
interest)
Never seen a man killed with a sword
before!
LAWRENCE
(sourly)
Why don't you take a picture?
BENTLEY
(undisturbed)
Wish I had.
The BEDOUIN looters have meanwhile moved past them both towards
the returning AUDA, who now appears thrusting between them, wiping
his sword on the skirt of his robe1 the BEDOUIN murmuring and
. laughing. AUDA grins with pleasure as he sees LAWRENCE on his
feet, and:
AUDA
How is it with thee Aurens?
But before LAWRENCE can answer AUDA points furiously (off) and
roars:
No!
BENTLEY looks up from his camera startled, and AUDA steps up
to -him and with one huge hand snatches it from his grasp.
Auda ... LAWRENCE
(quietly) r~-,
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AUDA
(to BENTLEY)
Am I in this?
BENTLEY
Eh?
LAWRENCE
(translating)
Did you take his picture?
Yes ... BENTLEY
(innocently) II-16
AUDA shatters the camera against the carriage buffer, and then
dismissing BENTLEY from his mi.nd as though he were a small by
standing boy whose manners he has corrected, he says to LA WREN CE,
lowering a hand on his shoulder~ with a blend of affection, admiration
and reproof:
AUDA
You are using up your nine lives very
quickly.
And goes, amidst approval and laughter. The noise of looting rising
again.
BENTLEY
(regarding the wreckage
of his instrument)
Charming company you keep.
LAWRENCE
Auda? · He's a bit old-fashioned.
(he taps BENTLEY' s
other camera)
He thinks these things will steal his virtue.
(he is mounting the wreck-
age again~ helped by
BiNTLEY 9 who is not
a: bit put out as
LAWRENCE adds,
looking down)
He thinks you're a sort of thief.
BENTLEY
(looking up)
All right if I take your picture?
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LAWRENCE
(hesitates, looking
down, shrugs)
All right.
BENTLEY
(technical)
0. K. Just walk. II-17
LAWRENCE commences to walk swiftly along the length of the wreck
and the CAMERA TRACKS his swiftly pacing sandalled feet, which is
all we see of him, as he does so.
46 MEDIUM TRACKING SHOT - along the length of the train. We see
the BEDOUIN at work. But as LAWRENCE (i.e. his feet) approaches
them they break off, look up and herald him so that as he moves
swiftly along the wreck (lightly leaping the gaps between the coupled
carriages) a mounting roar of acclamation rolls along with him. We
thus glimpse: well dressed PASSENGE,RS, including a pair of
CHILDREN with their PARENTS quickly disrobing themselves of
coats and shoes. A trio of CAVALRY OFFICERS must part with
their breeches, one already in his shirt-tails;· let these three
preserve their dignity, the one in shirt-tails indeed calmly smoking
a cheroot; let there be a minimum of comic surprise and outraged
importance - other countries other customs. The BEDOUIN stand
by and eagerly collect the loot. TWO TURKISH STAFF OFFICERS
sit behind riddled windows as they died, upright. A BEDOUIN with
a bundle of clothing under one arm reaches up and removes their cavalry coats from the rack over their heads. TRACKING PAST
the Third Class compartment we see clearly though fleetingly, the dead or wounded. All the PASSENGERS, without exception, living
and dead, are relieved of any items of clothing and baggage which is
of any value. Luggage compartments have been broken open and
pliµn wooden crates are being tipped from them. All along the
train, BEDOUIN hold up and shake rifles or items of loot, triumphantly
as LAWRENCE passes and they join in the adulation. They have such items as: small cane chairs, coils of new white rope, lengths of silk
in billowing bundles and haberdashers' rolls, lengths of metal
piping, tennis rackets, kettles tied in clattering cocoons, blocks and
tackles, oil lamps, a box of carpenter's tools, a phonograph, drums
of'-kerosene, boxes of tinned food, army blankets, a sewing machine,
saddles, a card table with folded legs? water bottles, a papiermache
fire screen inlaid with mother of pearl, etc. etc. The more incongru
ous the better. As the adulation reaches its climax we
CUT TO •
(~
C
0
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' \ \~ ..,./ . 47
48 II-18
MEDIUM SHOT - BENTLEY on the far side of the train where there
are few ARABS. Calls urgently, his camera raised:
BENTLEY
Major Lawrence~
MEDIUM SHOT - LAWRENCE stops and looks down (this is the first
shot we have seen of him since he started his walk) a magnificent
natural pose "caught" in BENTLEY's camera.
BENTLEY
(murmuring with dry
satisfaction on SOUND
TRACK)
Yes sir ••• that's my baby.
The shutter operates.
49 MEDIUM SHOT - One of the armcured cars draws up by the train •
In the rear, FARRAJ. In front by the DRIVER an NCO who, holds up
{like the BEDOUIN holdin:g up their loot) an olive-green box with the
white circle and red cross on it. LAWRENCE makes a little gesture
of decent acknowledgment and prepares to descend.
50 MEDIUM ·sHOT - On the other side of the train the BEDOUIN seeing
their hero go, return their attention to the job in hand. And at that
moment a double door is burst open from within - it is the luggage
van - and a: shower of passengers' luggage (trunks, cases,
51 Gladstone bags) falls and is fallen upon.
CLOSE SHOT - on the crest of the dune BRIGHTON and ALI stand by
the other armoured car, watching. BRIGHTON's face is dark.
BRIGHTON
This looting has got to stop!
ALI
(a little discomforted)
It is . • • customary •
BRIGHTON
It's theft~ And theft makes thieves.
ALI
(softly)
I would not say that to Auda.
(explanatory)
It is their payment.~ Colonel. C
0
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0
1· :--·-......
( )
\. ____ .)
,:o .. -···--··--. . -(
51
52 Continued
BRIGHTON
(contemptuous)
Payment.
ALI
(innocent) ·
Truly. Are not British soldiers paid?
BRIGHTON
They don't go home when they've been
paid!
ALI
They are not free to. II-19
BRIGHTON looks off angrily, in the direction of the LOOTERS.
MEDIUM LONG SHOT - A caravan of camels, well laden with loot,
is riding away towards the open desert.
53 CLOSE SHOT - The other armoured car drives up. LAWRENCE is
looking after them, seriously. BRIGHTON flounders up and
LAWRENCE quickly takes his gaze from the DESERTERS, but
BRIGHTON says shortly:
BRIGHTON
Well. That's another lot you've seen the
last of.
LAWRENCE
(mildly)
They'll come back.
ALI 1ollows BRIGHTON.
BRIGHTON
He says they'll come bac.k. Will they?
ALI
Not this year, Aurens.
BRIGHTON draws close and says, discreetly:
BRIGHTON
Look, Lawrence~ d'you know how many men
you have left - less than two hundred~
.. --~' (
0
0 .
◄ ·,
II )
i
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LAWRENCE
A hundred and seventy.
BRIGHTON
Well then?
LAWRENCE
I said they'll come back~
He taps the DRIVER' s shoulders. II-20
It is mere denial. BRIGHTON is helpless. Now a bit concerned.
BRIGHTON
(nodding, gruffly)
You hurt badly?
LAWRENCE
Not "hurt" at all.
(in the spirit of sheer
miscm.ef 1 not portenu
ously, he adds)
Didn't you know? They can only kill me · ·
with a golden bullee \
The car roars away. The unresponding troubled faces of BRIGHTON
and ALI are obscured in its dust.
CUT
54 It is a Turkish MAJOR who looks up from tha writing and moves a
pace to transfer the information to a large wall map of "Arabian
railways. He moves deliberately; he is not in a state of excitement
or rage. The wall map is behind him, before him is a big ornate desk
and from the surface of this he takes a thick red crayon. With a
last confirmatory glance at the writing on the photograph he carefully
makes a cross on one of the railways. We see that there are many
such already. He turns and looks with calm curiosity to see the
reactions of:
55 At a distance stand two Turkish COLONELS and a MAJOR-GENERAL,
who has a benign and dignified fare and cropped white hair. Of the
two COLONELS, one is frontline one Admin. All are looking at the
wall map when we first see them but at once the frontline COLONEL
shifts his weight irritably and glances sharply at the GENERAL.
The Admin COLONEL follows suitj a little apprehensively. It is
very quiet in the fine white room. Becomingaware of the front line
j / \ ,___.....}
1.0 '-···'
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0
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( 11-21
55 Continued
COLONEL's glance, the GENERAL returns him an inexpressive look
and raises his shoulders in a faint, patrician shrug.
56 The MAJOR, still regarding them, opens without looking at it, a
large flat drawer in the desk. He tosses the photograph in it,
still without looking.
56A. EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. The drawer is already half full of other
similar photographs depicting the results of Lawrence's campaign
against the railways. The drawer slams shut.
57 MEDIUM SHOT - Inside a bivouac, made lean-to, against one of the
armoured cars. The flap, heaving, spasmodically in the wind dis
closes glimpses of a dry Wadi, with many other shelters. Within,
leaning against a wheel, BENTLEY regards a book curiously.
58 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT -it is a limp book, folded back; the print
is large and the page is headed: "THE LITTLE CITIZEN. CHAPTER
TWO. OUR PARLIAMENT." The text begins: "Every Englishman
has the vote. What does this mean? And how has it come about?"
And so on.
BENTLEY looks up, finds ALI's stern but ;slightly uncomfortable
glance upon him.
ALI
It is for children. I have set myself
to learn again.
BENTLEY
What are you learning, from this?
ALI
Politics.
He says this as one might say "Geometry", or "Latin". BENTLEY,
at ease against the wheel, is interested; eyes him speculatively.
BENTLEY
You going to be a democracy in this country?
You going to have a Parliament?
ALI
(thinks; then gravely)
I will tell you that9 when. I have a country.
BENTLEY throws back his head in admiration and laughs.
L.~-----·--·····~··•--······ ............ . C
)
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I I 0
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0 58
59 Continued
ALI
(smiling)
Did I answer well?
BENTLEY
You answered without saying anything;
that's politics.
(he hands back the book,
and says, agreeably)
You learn quickly.
ALI
(gravely and respectfully)
I have a good teacher.
Yeah!
Yeah ... BENTLEY
(This reminds him of a
previous determination.
He begins to rise) 11-22
CUT
In a smaller tent of unbleached yellow wool, LAWRENCE sits
cross-legged in the attitude of a teacher. His head is back, his eyes
focussed on an idea. At his feet is a map. He wears a vest and
camel trousers, all very white. His wound is now a matter for lint
and plaster merely. FARRAJ pops head and shoulders through the
flap and says hastily:
FARRAJ
The man.
LAWRENCE
All right.
FARRAJ goes, holding the flap for BENTLEY who enters and plumps
himself down.
BENTLEY
How's the hurt?
LAWRENCE
Fine. C
0
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ea
:o i '\._
"--A .: 59 Continued
BENTLEY
(tugging his notebook from
a side pocket and one of
many pencils from his
breast pocket)
Before I return to the fleshpots, which I
shall be very glad to do, may I put two
questions to you, straight?
LAWRENCE
(grins at him)
I'd be interested to hear you put a
question straight, Mr. Bentley. 11-23
BENTLEY chuckles. We should see that LAWRENCE has a sort of
respect for BENTLEY' s intelligence and absolute freedom from
principle as BENTLEY is fascinated by LAWRENCE's destructive
scrupulosity. Also, in this sequence, we should see that BENTLEY
has not stood up at all well to the campaigning: his clothes have
become greasy and frayed, his skin chapped, he needs both a haircut
and a shave. Whatever LAWRENCE is wearing by contrast should be
virginally clean.
BENTLEY
One: ·what, in your opinion, do these
people hope to gain from this war?
LAWRENCE
(quiet, lightly)
They hope to gain their freedom.
BENTLEY looks at him cautiously.
Freedom.
BENTLEY
(scribbling~ saying
dryly, even sadly)
••. they hope to gain their freedom ...
There's one born every minute.
Unseen by BENTLEY, LAWRENCE "freezes" at this and looks at him
vehemently.
LAWRENCE
They're going to get it, Mr. Bentley. I'm
going to give it to them.
At the superhuman egoism of this BENTLEY looks up between surprise
and amusement, mouth open for a wise-crack, -but he encounters-r---
C
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Continued
LAWRENCE's poisonous regard and shuts it again, flummoxed.
LAWRENCE
(softly)
And the second question?
BENTLEY
Oh .•. well ... I was going to ask ...
(he regains his professional
manner firmly)
What is it, Major Lawrence, that attracts
you personally to the desert?
LA WREN CE looks· the disreputable figure up and down with insuiting
deliberation and says:
LAWRENCE
It's clean.
BENTLEY lowers his gaze to his own garments. He lays down his
pad and pencil and when he looks up we expect him to be at least
resentful. Instead, he says in a voice that is dispassionate and
thoughtful:
BENTLEY
Well, now that's a very illuminating answer.
(he takes up his camera
and says invitingly)
May I take one farewell picture?
CUT
In the armoured car shelter. BRIGHTON is now there also. AUDA
enters, boisterously. He carries a station clock with swinging pen
dulums. (we ought perhaps to have seen this item before, to identify
it as loot) He holds it up.
AUDA
I gave Muhmid Taud two lamps for it. One
clock for two lamps.
ALI
(judiciously, but glancing
at BRIGHTON)
A fair bargain.
AUDA
"Fair~" I robbed him~
' f •• .::J r---------- ---·-·----·
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it)
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\-_.) 60 Continued ll-25
He spins the fingers happily, Then the movement stops. The ex
pression of pleasure goes from his face and is replaced by one of
dark brooding. lie tosses the clock from him.
AUDA (cont)
Trash.
lie lies on his "bed".
1·must find something honourable.
BRIGHTON
Honourable!
AUDA raises his head and considers BRIGHTON carefully. Then he
lies back again. He explains.
AUDA
Yes. The year is running out 'Righton.
I must find something honourable.
And his face has the mindless nobility of a hungry lion.
61 OPENING SHOT. Disclosing horses and panning with STALLION
into reverse angle.
61a LONG SHOT. From top rear of train with MACffiNE GUNNERS in
foreground. (A slight sense of boredom amongst Machine Gunners
Rig sun cover).
61b MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT. FRONT MACHINE GUN NEST on fiat car
in front of engine. (Try to arrange this shot on a curve so that the
train is visible in background).
61c RAILS coming towards low camera. (Camera slightly higher than
test) EXPLOSION goes off ahead.
61d REACTION OF machine gunners to explosion.
61e ENGINE DRIVER jamming on brakes.
61f WHEELS LOCKING AND STARTING TO SKID.
61g HORSES stumbling around. 62 LONGER SHOT OF LOCKED WHEELS with FRONT MACHINE GUN
NEST in background. STEAM starts coming out of engine.
. ,l : i~ 10 c---
0
',ff)
. 0
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62a PANICKING HORSES regaining their balance.
62b FRONT MACHINE GUNNERS in foreground of picture with EXPLOSION
PIT nearing from background.
62c CLOSE SHOT. FRONT MAClllNE GUNNERS watching crater and
beginning to look round left and right - but not backwards.
63 LONG SHOT. THE TRAIN skidding to a halt with ARMOURED CAR
in foreground of picture. The TRAIN stops, the ARMOURED CAR
opens fire.
63a MEDIUM SHOT. HORSES reacting to gunfire with MACHINE GUNNERS
leaping off train in background - or possibly in foreground.
63b CLOSE SHOT. ARMOURED CAR MACHINE GUN FffiING.
63c CLOSE SHOT. FRONT MACHINE GUN NEST with WOOD splintering .
63d CLOSE SHOT. HORSES PANICKING.
63e LONG SHOT. FIRST ARMOURED CAR in foreground; TRAIN in
background. CAR stops firing. Top of turret opens
63f CLOSE SHOT. · BRIGHTON emerges through the turret - fires
VEREY PISTOL.
63g MEDIUM SHOT. VEREY LIGHT exploding in the sky.
64 BIG CLOSE SHOT. AUDA with some stationary horsemen is in
background looking up at the sky - he yells and moves out of picture.
64a EXTREME LONG SHOT. TRAIN in centre of picture. · HORSES
appearing on dunes from all sides. Shadow of verey light on sand.
64b CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ on ground collecting plunger
etc - HORSES LEGS rushing past them on all sides. LAWRENCE
looks up grinning.
64c CLOSE SHOT. BRIGHTON watching unimpressed.
64d MEDIUM SHOT. HORSEMEN tearing down dunes.
64e CLOSE SHOT. LINE OF HORSES in train, whinnying and reacting
to what they see.
64f CLOSE PANNING SHOT. AUDA galloping towards the train. HORSE
MEN BEHIND HIM.
··------·-··---'!; ('
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64g CLOSE SHOT. STALLION with other horses in background reacting.
65 MEDIUM SHOT. FIRST ARMOURED CAR in foreground, train in
background. The first of AUDA's men are reaching the train.
FIRST ARMOURED CAR begins to move foreward. SECOND
ARMOURED CAR appears behind dune.
65a MEDIUM SHOT. Looking down on the train - HORSEMEN gallop up
from either side and start to undo ropes.
'65b THREE CLOSE SHOTS
65c THE BACKGROUND filled with Horses with
65d TIE ROPES being undone.
66 CLOSE SHOT. The side of the wagon falling down into picture,
and disclosing line of horses' legs.
66a LONG SHOT. (MASTER) HORSES beginning to jump from train.
66b CLOSE SHOT. AUDA ... watching.
66c CLOSE SHOT. Horses jumping from the train.
66d CLOSE SHOT AUDA watchi.ng. (Closer than 66b)
66e CLOSE SHOT. HORSES jumping fron;i train.
66f BIG CLOSE SHOT AUDA
66g CLOSE SHOT. HORSES
66h BIG CLOSE SHOT. AUDA laughing and moving out of picture.
67 LONG SHOT. With rows of horses leaving train and showing the
semi-circle of AUDA's horses encircling them.
67a CLOSE PANNING SHOT, AUDA with the screen completely filled
with HORSES as he rides through them and takes the STALLION by
the lead rope and turns him back.
67b CLOSE SHOT. ARMOURED CARS drawing to a standstill.
67 c CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRAJ on back of second armoured
car.
67d CLOSE SHOT. BRIGHTON still i.n turret of first ARMOURED CAR.
ALI at the back.
67e MEDIUM SHOT. CAMERA PANS with AUDA as he leads his STALLION
up to the ARMOURED CARS with the TRAIN in the background. C
0
C
,·
i
'(()
0
'· :
.c
,(; 68 II-28
CLOSE SHOT - .AUDA. He turns into CAMERA. He is in ecstasy.
AUDA
Now you may blow up my train .
69 MEDIUM SHOT - He is standing by one of the armoured cars, in or
on which are BRIGHTON, ALI, FARRAJ and LAWRENCE whom AUDA
is addressing. Behind AUDA is his chaotic booty, drawing away along
the train. At AUDA's words: LAWRENCE merely smiles a little
and looks down at his feet. From this point on, his attention isfixed
wistfully but keenly and without self pity upon AUDA. He takes no
part in the discussion knowing that AUDA and BRIGHTON are each
too fixed in their own modes to understand one another; his attention
remains on AUDA
BRIGHTON
(hosti.le)
And what will t2,_u do?
AUDA
Oh, now I go home!
(he turns and takes in
the scene, turns back
again breathing deep with
satisfaction}
They will carry my toys!
(he roars with laughter)
They will carry my toys, too, do you see ...
BRIGHTON rises to his feet. He will take A UDA to task with no more
doubt and no more fear for his own safety than if he were a school
prefect and AUDA an erring form mate.
BRIGHTON
Major Lawr.ence will campaign this winter.
But you 1ve got what you wanted, so you 're
going home; is that it?
AUDA begins to see that something is wrong, but is as yet puzzled,
not angry.
AUDA
Of course.
(he pats LAWRENCE
affectionately on the knee)
When Aurens has got what he wants, he
will go home! - -
(encouragingly to
BRIGHTON)
When you 1ve got what y:ou want Y£_u will go
home! (
0
0
,f '; .. ,·
0 ✓-
'
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: \ ) I -.... ___ •
0 •
69 Continued
BRIGHTON
Oh no I shan't, Auda.
AUDA
(the tone of it now is
unmistakeable and he
apprehends it)
Then you are a fool.
BRIGHTON
Maybe. I'm not a deserter. II-29
AUDA 's face goes quite stiff, he blinks and licks his lips. Then he
says very quitely:
AUDA
Give thanks to God, Brighton, that when
he made you a fool, he gave you a fool's
face.
70 CLOSE SHOT - BRIGHTON, head and shoulders. He is not comically
outraged, but he is affronted. He look straight at AUDA, cold, hard,
forbidding, and (in his desert gear- sheepskin perhaps) tough.
71 BRIGHTON
You are an impudent rascal.
, _AUDA
I must go Aurens. Before I soil myself
with a fool's blood.
And he goes towards his horse, quicldy. BRIGHTON sits.
BRIGHTON
Like talking to a brick wall ...
CLOSE SHOT - AUDA mounted. He looks after his booty which all
this whil e has been driven away and away down the length of the train
and out into the desert under a cloud of dust. He turns. He swells.
All gloom forgotten.
AUDA
They will carry my toys too!
He rides away, watched by the group in the armoured car.
I _ ___J ( .
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CLOSE SHOT. THE GROUP. LAWRENCE looks steadily after AUDA.
BRIGHTON nods to himself and speaks with the bitter satisfaction of
one whose worst fears are realised.
BRIGHTON
So what will you do now? What can you
do? -
LAWRENCE tears his attention from the vanishing AUDA. He begins
to collect demolition gear from the car. He speaks quietly.
LAWRENCE
I'll go north ... Isn't that wha:t Allenby
wants?
BRIGHTON
{scoffing despair)
Allen by wanted the "Arab Army" behind Deraa !
LAWRENCE looks along the train where the remnants of his force
linger.
LAWRENCE
Then that!.s where I' 11 take it.
He hands the demolition kit to FARRA.I, who nips eagerly from the .car
and waits for him. LAWRENCE following more slowly, adds:
LAWRENCE
Tell Allenby to hurry up or I' 11 ·be in
Deraa before he's in Jerusalem.
He puts a hand on ·FARRA.I, propelling him towards the engine, and
says to him, for BRIGHTON to hear:
Won't we?
DISSOLVE
73 LONG SHOT - ANGLING DOV✓N. A railway line stretches gleaming
through a dull grey landscape, dull grey clouds approaching from the
horizon. A wind moanjng, and in the wind the ~melancholy rise and fall
of an Arab pipe. Scattered haphazardly on and about the line, a GROUP
OF BEDOUIN and their animals. They stand still, or move slowly
and without purpose.
74 MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE and FARRA.I are busy on the line.
Others watch, dispiritedly, or crouc.h against the wind, one blowing
a little pipe, fitfully. 0 '
0
0 (
( \,
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76 ···\..,,. ji .\ ,.. I ..,
II-31
CLOSE SHOT. IT IS FARRAJ who fixes the charge (a self-ope.rating
charge of gun cotton secured with adhesive tape). LAWRENCE watches
him but FARRAJ works confidently and has obviously done it before.
MAJID, crouching, watches him with grudgi.ng admiration.
CLOSE SHOT. ALI looks straight down the line. He grunts softly.
LAWRENCE joins him in frame. Neither shows apprehension nor
even much excitement. It is routine,
77 EXTREME LONG SHOT - the plume of steam is barely visible. On
SOUND TRACK, LAWRENCE says: "Train, Farraj!"
78
79
80
81
82 CLOSE SHOT. FARRAJ
FARRAJ
(without excitement)
Ya, Aurens.
He has finished taping the pilot brick to the rail, holds both ends
of the tape which will be used to secure the secondary bricks in
one hand, and with the other inserts the plug. He looks about and
sees what he wants.
CLOSE SHOT. A small red painted wooden box lies on a sleeper out
of reach.
MEDIUM SHOT. MAJID steps over to it, picks it up and brings it
back. Doing so his foot slips on the edge of a sleeper. Swiftly,
FARRAJ is on his feet to secure not the man but the box; he does
so and for a second they are face to face, both holding it, startled;
then they smile and the MAN let's go. FARRAJ takes from the box
one of the half dozen gleaming detonators, slides it carefully into
the plug to see that it fits, then with that blend of carelessness and
dexterity which marks the explosives man, he slips it into his waist
band (EXTREME CLOSE SHOT of this, I think) :·and goes on with his
work. ·
MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE joins them. He collects together a
coil of fuse, roll of tape, a small waterproof satchel of tools, the red
box, and hands them to MAJID, saying:
LAWRENCE
Hide yourself my friend ..
MEDIUM SHOT. THE RAIDERS are wandering away and disappearing behind a hump very near to
the line. ALI bringing up the rear glances
at: (
n
0
0
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_) 83 Il-32
EXTREME LONG SHOT. The plume of steam, though nearer, makes
no audible noise at its still great distance.
84 CLOSE SHOT. MAJID leaves FARRAJ and LAWRENCE to follow
the others. We see that to do so he must plunge into a steep ditch
into which he disappears before scaling the other side.
85 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE, having taken over from FARRAJ, has
finished taping the secondary bricks. Still no urgency. ·
LAWRENCE
Detonator.
FARRAJ slips his fingers into his waistband and feels for the detonator.
He looks worried. LA ,vRENCE turns, still. crouching, to look down
the line, and back at FARRAJ, who smiles embarrassedly and searches
further.
86 MEDIUM SHOT. MAJID arrives behind the hump. This time, the
RAIDERS are not poised for an attack. There is tension, necessarily,
but each n1an crouches in the lee of his mount. Only ALI is. keeping
watch. The PIPER continues, fitfully. ALI hisses him sharply to
silence, and we hear for the first time the distant ''puff, puff" of
the train.
87 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE AND FARRAJ are searching the ballast
for the detonator, FARRAJ the more urgent and less effective, as
the more responsible for its loss. He rises to his feet and begins
to search his waistband again, irritated, guilty .. The TRAIN NOISE.
LAWRENCE
(calmly, and reassuring)
All right, fetch another.
FARRAJ crosses the line towards the hump and the ditch; he turns.
FARRAJ
Pardon, Aurens. I ...
LAWRENCE
(kindly impatience)
There's plenty of time. Fetch another.
FARRAJ plunges awkwardly from slght, half falling, into the ditch.
We hear - do we hear? - we are not sure - a bang, a thud, under
the noise of the wind. But FARRAJ does not appear. All that LAW-
,RENCE sees is the stony landscape between him and the hump where
ALI watches. The wind blows.. The train is nearer.
···---' 0
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· .. \ ) . . \, __ ,./ • II-33
87 Continued
88
89
90
91 LAWRENCE
Farraj ... ?
(sharply)
Farraj!
QUICK CLOSE SHOT. FARRAJ is on his back at the bottom of the
ditch. His eye glare; his mouth opens wide.
QUICK CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE plunges down beside him; raises
his stricken face as MAJID, ALI and TWO BEDOUIN hurl themselves
into the ditch from the other side and are arrested by what they see.
TWO SHOT. ALI AND LAWRNECE
ALI
(horrified)
What happened?
LAWRENCE
Detonator. A detonator ...
The train noise is much nearer. LAWRENCE turns swiftly to where:
MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT. MAJID and the TWO BEDOUIN obscure the
fallen BOY. Mingling with the TRAIN NOISES we hear the SOUND
OF TROOPS, singing. This penetrates. They turn their faces
alarmed.
92 Q.UICK CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE AND ALI turn their heads, horrifed.
The singing nearer.
93. QUICK MEDIUM SHOT. THE TWO BEDOUIN scramble up the side of
the ditch and run. MAJID looks up from the BOY.
94 MAJID
He cannot ride Aurens, Look.:
He lifts from the BOY's stomach the blood soaked garments which we
see for the first time. LAWRENCE goes down beside him. He rises
as though hurled by a great blow in the face. ALI AND MAJID look
towards him. WE HEAR THE TRAIN, now near, braking with a scream
of metal and the singing dies ouL
QUICK . CLOSE SHOT. The unprimed charge conspicuous on the line.
The singing is replaced by shouts .
\ I _____ __J r----
c,
(J
I ··_../ ·G
'<O
0
◄ \
j' ,_:
I
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.,. ··-,.\
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! 95
96
97 II-34
MEDIUM SHOT. In the ditch. ALI AND MAJID look to LAWRENCE but
he looks about wildly. It is the first time we have seen him at a loss.
ALI
If they take him alive, you know what they
will do.
CLOSE SHOT. LA WREN CE backs away and throws his pistol to
MAJID.
CLOSE SHOT. MAJID looks at the pistol, smiles comprehendingly,
shakes his head and rises away from FARRAJ.
FARRAJ's breathing begins to come more and more rapidly with a
rising rhythm which must end in a scream.
98 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE hurls himself on the pistol. MUSIC LOW.
99 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE kneels by FARRAJ. Shouted orders
from the TURKS. LAWRENCE stealthily brings the pistol towards
FARRAJ's head. FARRAJ clutches his wrist instinctively. Then he
smiles and lets go.
FARRAJ
Daud will be angry with you.
LAWRENCE
Salute him for me.
He cannot do it. On SOUND TRACK the shouts draw closer.
FARRAJ.
(prompting kindly)
God will give you peace.
He turns his head away but do-es not close his eyes.
100 MEDIUM SHOT. ALI AND MAJID wince away, turn, the pistol crashes
out, they streak up the side of the ditch and run.
LAWRENCE scrambles from the ditch and runs after them, his face
fragmented. ·
DISSOLVE
101 MEDIUM TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE and ALI ride ahead of the
remaining BEDOUIN who look morose. LAWRENCE leads FARRAJ1s
camel, which has a net bag c,f soap among its load. The wind moans. (
n 'C .. -
Q
0
l.\ -ec
0
C
·-.,
\_ )
0 11-35
101 Continued
ALI looks al LA WREN CE, is about t.o speak, thinks better of it. He
looks at him again and says, with much sympathy, as one who has
a question which cannot brook postponement even under such circum
stances as these:
ALI
What will you do, now?
LAWRENCE clears his throat and answers flatly.
LAWRENCE
Go north.
ALI jogs on in silence for a beat or two.
-
ALI .. . , ..... ,, .. ,_ .. ., .. -~ ........ •,•
With twenty?
We must see that ALI is genuinely exercised in his mind as to whether
there is any purpose in going on.
102 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE's mask cracks. He turns to ALI and
.Shouts:
LAWRENCE
What would you recommend me to do, Ali?
What would you recommend?
DISSOLVE
103 MEDIUM SHOT. Interior ALLENBY's private apartments in Cairo.
A spacious room with, at the far end, a working desk and chair, and
nearer to the CAMERA a fireplace against which ALLENBY leans,
and a few upholstered chairs i.n one of which BRIGHTON is sitting.
It is night time and cosy lamps are lit. The fans are motionless
(whereas before we have seen them spinning) and there is a fire in
the grate. On the mantlepiGcfi)by ALLENBY, the Country Life
calendarproclaims December with an Olde English hwiting scene.
ALLENBY has a light plaid shawl thrown over his shoulders, and he
swills a whisky and soda in a large tumbler. He is silently regarding
BRIGHTON and though the professional ma.skis fi'rmly in place he
looks unusually thoughtful and a little triste. BRIGHTON, who has
flung his Sam Browne on the back of his chair, and also has a glass
of whisky and soda at his elbow, is Jabouring through the last of a
sheaf of official reports. When he concludes, he hands them to
ALLENBY, with a grave face. (
0
0
.. "" ( \
\ i
1.,.,.,.-.·•' 103 Continued
BRIGHTON
He hasn't one-tenth so many men, sir.
BRIGHTON
Well, yes and no, sir ... He doesn't claim
to have done anything he hasn't done .
ALLENBY
Then there is an '~rab North Army".
BRIGHTON
(considers}
No, sir. He has lied about that.
ALLENBY
Any idea why?
BRIGHTON
(with a half smile)
It's his army, I suppose.
ALLENBY
(shortly)
It's Prince Feisal's army ... Think he's
gone native Harry?
BRIGHTON
(his brows puckered)
N-n-n-o -o-o.
(with a flash of inspiration)
He would if he could.
I think. (with a flash of self
doubt)
(uncomfortably)
Not my line of country this, sir.
He is puzzled by the mood of his CIDEF.
ALLENBY
-(reassuring)
Doesn't matter ... I'm just curious.
What matters is: I bel i.eved it and
the Turks believe it. They're offering
twenty-thousand pounds for him .
BRIGHTON
Good God! II-36 C
0
;_) (
( ' \.,. __ /" 103 Continued
ALLENBY
(turns away - and
CLOSE SHOT - prods idly
at the fire with his toe)
Yes. Shouldn't say he'd long to live would
you?
BRIGHTON
(impulsively)
Whatever else sir, he ... I
ALLENBY
(interrupting rather
impatiently)
Oh surely, surely . . . If he's still going
North, with fifty men, he doesn't lack
guts ...
(brooding)
I wonder if they'd offer that much for me ... II-37
He turns brisldy with the air of one who breaks off an improper
indulgence.
Well, what about next year? Will they
come back to him?
BRIGHTON
Shouldn't be surprised, sir. They think he's
some kind of prophet.
ALLENBY
(harshly)
They do or he does?
He walks away to the working desk taking the paper with him, calling
back as he goes:
They seem to think he's a kind of machine.
Dryden had a letter from some old beggar
behind Damascus; "Send us an Aurens and
we will blow up trains with it". That's
poetry, isn't it?
And again his voice has a harsh sounding crack in it.
BRIGHTON (On SOUND TRACK)
(uneasy)
I wouldn't know, sir. 0 0 103 Continued
ALLENBY
And that's what these are.
(he wags the papers
before throwing them
down)
Not lies, poems.
BRlGHTON
Don't quite follow, sir. II-38
104 CLOSE SHOT. BRIGHTON, his care-worn, innocent face, creased
with the effort ta be in time with his chief.
ALLENBY
(with a sudden rush of
aff eclion for things
familiar)
You're a good chap, Harry.
BRIGHTON
(a laugh is jerked out
of him by the unexpected
ness of it)
Thank you, sir !
ALLENBY
(approaching)
Nice to have a fire again.
BRIGHTON
Yes, sir.
105 CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY by the fire, and again we see the calendar.
ALLEN'BY
Quite like home ...
CUT
106 LONG SHOT. EXTERIOR. Night. The screen is full of driving snow
and ON SOUND TRACK there is a shrieking wind. Moving through the
snow, we gradually make out the silhouette of the ruins of El-Jamal.
It is nothing more than a grotesque hump of stone, but ln some aperture
a light flickers, at which: .. .. -~~ C
,---·~ ( ) le,' ..
iO . ---------- -·-·--.~...:...----..-..~----...lol.....ll....&....~
ll-39
107 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT - Interior. One of the bars of yellow soap
is lying on a clean slab of stone.
108 CLOSE SHOT - LAWRENCE, wrapped in a torn grey blanket for
warmth, is arranging his newly washed white robes over a carefully
improvised framework of sticks, to dry before a fire. He works with a
controlled nervousness. Nervousness is revealed in• the· merel·. speed
of his movements; control keeps them effective.
109 MEDIUM SHOT - ALI, also in undress, smoking a cheroot, watches
him, his face shows a distinct anger tempered by caution and under
standing - in other words it shows a sober independence of LAWRENCE
which we have before seen only incipient. LAWRENCE knows ALI is
waiting for him. ALI looks about, patiently. Cracks in the walls have
been stuffed with bits of rag, earth; · grass in spite of which flurries
of snow spurt in ·.here and there. LAWRENCE straightens from his
task, wiping his .hands on a cloth. ·
ALI
(quietly)
Now may I speak?
Yes. LAWRENCE
(cool)
ALI is evidently repeating a point he has been trying to make before.
He speaks patiently.
A.LI
We are all tired.
LAWRENCE
(in· a dead voice)
I'm not .tired.
(flatly)
You are tired. ALI
LAWRENCE
(impatiently)
. All right, I' m tired ...
(attempts a sneer)
it takes me differently.
ALI
(calmly)
Truly . . Aurens, one more failure, and
you will find yourself alone. C
<D
iO
•·
()
i(.
ir ,.) ( ll-40
110 CLOSE SHOT- on this, LAWRENCE looks at him. ALI responds with
the irritation of _a man who finds his logical argument answered on the
plane of emotion.
ALI
I do not include myself ..
LAWRENCE
I do not include the others.
He jerks his head towards off :,creen .
. ALI nods, reasonably and taps ash from his cheroot, before continuing
with his patient argument:
ALI
So say they love you. The more reason to
· be thrifty with them.
(he begins to appeal more
urgently and grows excited
immediately)
Give them something to do that can be done!
But you ... no, no, they must move mountains,
for_ you, they must walk on water 1
LAWRENCE' s own much more racking, because more personal distress,
-. ignites from ALI' s. He nods affirmatively to the last phrase of A.LI' s
speech. ·
LAWRENCE
That's (ight ! .. That's right ! ...
he makes a pretence of going
on wip:ing his hands but his set,
pale face is still turned on his
friend)
Unwittingly, ALI has challenged him at the mingled root of his strength
and weakness and inustnow face LAWRENCE' s ··whole personality up in
arms.
Who are you to know what ean be done?
If we'd done what you thought could be done
you'd be back in 'Yenbo now, and nowhere!
Whatever I ask them to do, can be done, that's
all. . they l{now that if you don't ... !
He drops the cloth, backing from ALI towards a broken opening in
the interior wall. 0 ••
0
·:Q
0
( (
\
' J 110 Continued
LAWRENCE (cont)
... D'you think I'm just anybody, Ali?
Do you? II-41
Before ALI can reply, he turns from him:towards the opening and calls
in a voice ostensibly warm and confident with an unconscious undemote
of fear:
My.friends, who will walk on water with me?
But reaching the doorway and looking in he realises that the situation
is more critical than he supposed. His ·expression. changes. He
becomes alert; cautious. He realises that to get his own way he must
at any rate ~ reasonable.
111 MEDIUM SHOT - what he sees. A small room of the Fort with a
charcoal·. fire, the sodden robes of the BEDOUIN hanging on cords to
dry. The BEDOUIN themselves seated in undress about the room among
their :saddles and sheepskins. They look both wild and grimj· defeated
veterans.. All follow the ensuing debate most closely and immobile
except that MAJID cleans his rifle throughout. LAWRENCE leans against
the doorway in a deliberately leisurely fashion and repeats · his question
in a quiet and reasonable tone.
LAWRENCE
Who will come with me to Deraa?
This suggestion does not take them by surprise; evidently they have
heard of his intention and discussed it.
ELDER HARITH
Deraa is garrisoned. Wi.ll you take twenty
_against two thousand?
LAWRENCE
I'll go by myself if I have to.
MAJID
Why?
LAWRENCE
Because I told the English Generals ... the
Arab Revolt would be in. Deraa when they would
be in Jerusalem. ( ' I.
0
I
( 111 Continued
MAJID
(he can't look at
LAWRENCE bµt he
persists)
And are you the Arab Revolt? II-42
112 CLOSE SHOT - LAWRENCE looks round slowly. They avoid his eyes.
LAWRENCE
(cheerfully)
It begins to seem so.
MAJID
(softly)
Or perhaps you are here for the English
Generals?
· LAWRENCE is profoundly shocked. It seems that he wilLleave them.
But then, challenging:
LAWRENCE
Who says this.?
They avoid his eyes. MAJID looks at ALI.
ALI
(apologetic but troubled)
Rumour.
LAWRENCE spits onto the ground.
MAJID
(regarding the spittle
immediately)
That, is not an argument.
LAWRENCE
(his face pale)
Oh, argument!
(he lashes them)
This afternoon, I will take the Arab Revolt
into Deraa . . . while the Arabs . . . argue.. ·
(he turns and goes)
J i
I
i I (J I , .. / C
0
0
:o
()
0 112 Continued .•
MAJID
Aurens! Can you pass for an Arab in an
Arab town?
Yes. LAWRENCE
(calling back)
{he returns into the
doorway and hisses
at them)
If one of you will lend me some dirty clothes!
CUT ll-43
113 CLOSE SHOT - THE TURKISH BEY, motionless as an idol, is being
driven in his open staff car swiftly through the streets of Deraa.
Buildings flash by on either side, people respectfully salaaming.
He is an older man than LAWRENCE, but of very similar type. His
face is ascetic, alciof,. cultivated, and conscious.
CUT TO I
. i
114 A desert street in DERAA - LONG SHOT - ANGLING DOWN. · 1
The staff car turns a corner into it in the foreground and speeds away.
We travel down this street from the viewpoint of the BEY. Just before
we reach the end of the street, TWO DISREPUTABLE FIGURES turn
into it. One walks by the wal,l,the other arrogantly on the crown of
the roadhas to leap for safety. They are ALI and LAWRENCE.
115 CLOSE SHOT -LAWRENCE grins.
ALI
Madness! What are yot;t looking for?
LAWRENCE
Some way to announce myself.
ALI
(casting his ey~s up)
Be patient with him God.
A TURKISH SERGEANT and TWO :PRIVATES turn out of an alley
and pass them.
THE CAMERA TRACKS backwards with LAWRENCE and ALI walking
towards it, LAWRENCE slowly moving into it as they talk. ' i ' (,
i~ , ____ j
()
0
0 115 Continued
ALI
(urgent)
Do you not see how they look at you? II-44
LAWRENCE walks on.
· At least come into the shadow!
LAWRENCE
Peace, Ali, I am invisible.
TURKISH SERGEANT (ON SOUND TRACK)
Halt!
LAWRENCE
Walk on.
TURKISH SERGEANT ( ON. SOUND TRACK)
Halt!
LAWRENCE
Walk on.
116 CLOSE SHOT - A hand is placed upon his shoulder and he is spun about.
TURKISH SOLDIER n You!
117 MEDIUMl SHOT - behind him we see the SERGEANT coming up with
the other PRIVATE.
!~:, And you!
118 MEDIUM SHOT - ALI stops and turns.
TURKISH:SERGEANT
(looks at ALI appraisingly.
·D Then contemptuously)
:1--, -_ _; No-o-o~ Imshi!
119 (CLOSE SHOT. THE THREE TURKISH SOLDIERS looking at
LAWRENCE. Their grins harmless, knowing, very nearly friendly)
You .••
CUT
,
' J i In fc ....
C
•e
I lo
!O
I :Jo
i II-45
120 INTERIOR the working room of the BEY' s apartment, lamps lit, a
calmly beautiful sunset sky beyond the window. The: BEY is sitting
at'the window, with his face in his long and sensitive hands, motionless
in an attitude of desp·air. A number of COMMON SOLDIERS stand:: about 1
the room at attention; they might be some different species of creature
from their immaculate commander. Facing the table are LAWRENCE,
TWO SYRIAN RAGGAMUFFINS, absolutely from the depths and a
SPECTACLED LEBANESE CLERK with the last remnants of respect
ability. At either side and behind them stand 1. other TURKISH SOLDIERS.
All wait.
121
122
123 CLOSE SHOT - The TURKS exchange sly grins over the motionless
back of the BEY.
CLOSE SHOT - LAWRENCE observes this, uncomprehending and fear-
fully. ~
MEDIUM SHOT - Suddenly the BEY raises his melancholy face in which
the eyes are burning, and from the way in which the SOLDIERS wipei ·
the grins from their faces and stiffen to attention we see that he is no
laughing matter to them. He rises and walks round the table to inspect ..
the quartette.
124 MEDIUM SHOT - The BEY inspects them. His attitude is not truculant,
nor even insulting, is indeed dignified and almost wistful, as though he
had some distasteful duty to perform, which habit had not quite inured
him to. He pauses fraction.ally before each man, and his controlled
features faintly register his response. The TWO FILTHY SYRIANS
each evoke the sort of horrified disgust rone feels for hopelessly diseased animals, and he passes on, hardly pausing. He considers the
LEBANESE CLERK carefully. The CLERK assays a nervous smile
and
the BEY passes quickly on. He pauses before LAWRENCE and
LAWRENCE microscopically flinches, frightened by the evil in the
man, and the BEY turns away awkwardly. But half way back to his table
he stops and turns.
BEY
You.
Like light the other THREE are hustled from the room, leaving
LAWRENCE and the BEY confronting one another where they stand
AND FIVE TURKISH SOLDIERS, two behind LAWRENCE, three
against the wall. The BEY walks up to LAWRENCE. The ·TWO
behind him move a little closer.
BEY
You have blue eyes.
.1 ! (,,\
' ) lo\,.-
C
'ti~
:o
,f;
i◄ )
0 124 Continued
LAWRENCE swallows and stares fascinated at the BEY.
BEY (Cont)
I say you have blue eyes.
LAWRENCE
(remembering his part)
Yes, Effendi.
BEY
Are you Cii'cassian?
LAWRENCE
Yes, Effendi ..
BEY
(nodding)
How old are you?
LAWRENCE
Twenty-seven, Effendi.
(he remembers hi~ part)
I think. 11-46
He assumes an ingratiating smile. He need not bother. To the BEY
he is an object, _not a man of any kind.
BEY
You look older ... you have had a lot of
experience ...
(to TURKISH SERGEANT)
It is an interesting face.
TURKISH SERGEANT stiff ens· his attention stupidly. The BEY 'turns
to LAWRENCE. His tone is pleading, ·a1most has a whine to it, but
he is talking for himself alone~ a.bsorbed in some inner emotional
crisis of his own.
BEY
I am surrounded by cattle. He wouldn't know
an interesting face from a sow' s belly.
His face twitches minutely and is still again.
I have been in Deraa for three and a half
years now. If they posted me to the dark ( '
0
0
••
it)
( ·1 _,, · 124 Continued
BEY (Cont)
side of the moon I could not be more ...
isolated.
(A faint dreamy smile)
You haven't the least idea what I'm talking
about, have you?
LAWRENCE
No, Effendi. II-47
He has been too quick. Eor the :first time the BEY looks him in the
eyes, surprised.
BEY
Have you?
LAWRENCE does not reply. The:. BEY's eyes film again.
No, that ... that would be too ... lucky.
He has a quiet fit of coughing which he screens politely behind his
gloved left -fist. Before it is quite over he reaches out, and, very
much as a man opening a parcel, rips LAWRENCE's garment from
_the shoulder to, the waist. LAWRENCE starts back instinctively mto
the TWO TURKS who grasp his arms. The THREE OTHERS stand away
from the wall a little, as men who will presently be needed.. The BEY
unwraps his parcel, stripping LAWRENCE to the waist, and sees his
scar.
BEY
Where did you get that?
LAWRENCE
Oh •..
(grinning helplessly)
It is old, Effendi.
(in his confusion he says
this almost as if they
wanted to buy it)
BEY
(examining it, off hand
and clinical)
No, no, this is quite recent. You are a des~rter.
LAWRENCE
No, Effendi! ( .
0
(
. Q
if)
C
C
, ,-~----... \ __ ) 124 Continued
BEY
Yes, you are a deserter ..•
(smiling archly)
but from which army? Not that it
matters at all. ·
(with strange feeling)
A man cannot be always in uni.form! II-48
He removes his right glove and taking LAWRENCE' s pectoral
muscle ~between thumb and finger begins to kneed it.
BEY
Your skin is very fair~
125 QUICK CLOSE SHOI' - LAWRENCE .
126 QUICK CLOSE SHOT' ~ THE BEY.
127 QUICK CLOSE SHOT - · THE TURKS.
128 FLASH SHOT - ·LAWRENCE lashes out and kicks the BEY in the groin.
129 FL.ASH SHOT - THE BEY flies onto his back.
130 FLASH SHOT - THE SERGEANT dashes his fist into LAWRENCE' s face. •
131 CLOSE SHOT - THE BEY getting to his feet; he is breathing hard. anq.
in pain, but his face is agam controlled and d.ntroverted; he hesitates,
on the verg,e of going, then says very clearly:
BEY
Beat him.
He goes through a door near where he has landed, carefully leaving
it ajar.
(ABOUT WHAT FOLLOWS: The material of the incident is violence;
there is a danger that it will be seen as nothing; else, that is, that it
will"not make its point. That is my reason for advocating a somewhat
ritualistic as against a nerve-storming entry to the sequence. If it
"goes over the top" so that the understanding of the audience is
simply swamped we have failed.)
132 WIDE ANGLE MEDIUM SHOT from this doorway. The SOLDIERS
draw a wooden bench from the wall to the centre of the room, while
the SERGEANT picks up a plain cane from the BEY' s desk. Their 0
ee
'(_::
It ',
C
!/ ( '·)
ii '-.J
'-II-49
132 Continued
attitude is practical~ not sinister; and throughout this sequence,
friendly.., everyday noises float through the window; a distant dog
barking, and cart going past, a greeting called.
133 CLOSE SHOT - the SERGEANT shows the cane to LAWRENCE with a
significant, querying half-smile, as much as to say:.: "And how do you
like the prospect of that?" -
134 eLOSE SHOT - LAWRENCE the specialist in pain, is relieved that
. unidentified evil has dwindled to such a little thing as this. He raises.
his eyebrows and directs at the SERGEANT a look of cold contempt
and indifferenc~,as though at some piece of very bad manners.
135 CLOSE SHOT - the SERGEANT is puzzled by a response which, in a ~
wide experience, he has not encountered before. He looks at the cane
as th9ugh there might be some flaw in it, hithertot. unnoticed by himself.
Then:
136 MEDIUM SHOT - he looks again at LAWRENCE, now quite intrigued
by him. One-handed he gently propels him at the end of it and presses
his shoulder, so that.he sits astride it, gripping the edges with his
hands, his face expressmgf a healthy resentment but complete:.confidence.
137
138
139 MEDIUM SHOT -the SERGEANT nods to the SOLDIERS. Four of them
come and with technical skill and some violence - but no superfluous
violence - seize his· wrists and ankles and ~jerk him face downwaras.
CLOSE SHOT, __ the .. bench comes up to meet us •.
MEDIUM SHOT - in profile. LAWRENCE is.on the bench. One
SOLDIER has his two wrists and sits on the floor facing him, his
fee.t braced against the legs of the bench pulling on LAWRENCE' s
arm so that he and LAWRENCE are face to face.
140 CLOSE SHOT - This SOLDIER, who has the wooden· and rudimentary
features of a. domestic animal, grins briefly and significantly at
LAWRENCE.
141 CLOSE SHOT -LAWRENCE raises his eyebrows again, very donnish,
deliberately putting several centuries of superiority and contempt
between himself and the MAN.
142 CLOSE SHOT - the MAN .looks blankly at LAWRENCE and up again
at the SERGEANT with surprise, and almost with alarm.
..... _l i r---
1
I (; ~Q ,, .,-
1
I I
~
0
' I :c
I
( '' ·,
I , , ) 'i \\ I .___ .-
~
',I 143
144
145 • II-50
CLOSE SHOT ANGLING UP FROM THIS MAN'S VIEWPOINT.
The SERGEANT shrugs, braces his legs and raises the cane.
EXTREME CLOSE SHOT UP INTO LAWRENCE'S FACE. The cane whistles down. LAWRENCE' s eyes darken a little and he
slightly raises his head, but these are mere reflexesr his expression
remains exactly as before.
CLOSE SHOT - the SOLDIER again. He looks at LAWRENCE again,
puzzled, as a man will look who draws a bucket from a well which he
knows to be full anciffuds the bucket empty. He looks up again at
the SERGEANT.
146 CLOSE SHOT FROM HIS VIEWPOINT •. The SERGEANT settles him
self seriously to the job at hand.
147,. EXTREME CLOSE SHOT UP INTO LAWRENCE'S FACE. The
cane again. This time the reflexes. are stronger and tµere is a
runt of surprise and dawning alarm in :LAWRENCE' s eyes.
148 . .MEDIUM SHOT_ - the BEY has appeared in. the half open doorway.
He is leaning against the wall with a handkerchief to his mouth listening and waiting. We hear the cane again and heayy breathing.
149 CLOSE SHOT - exterior, dusky sunset. ALI in the street outside.
The open window of the BEY' s working room is an or~ge rectahgle
in the blue-white wall through which the sound of LAWRENCE' s torture
comes clea~ly. Apart from a Turkish
flag which flutters in the evening
sky, it is a house like others in the narrow street, the rear perhaps.
Opposite the doorway the street widens into a small yard with stables.
ALI leans stoically against the wall with his arms folded. After ;two
or three strokes he unfolds his arms restlessly, then clasps his hands
determinedly. After two or three more he moves away down the
street, CAMERA TRACKING before him, the sound diminishing.
But so soon as it is, inaudible, he halts straining his ears, hesitates,
walks back until he can hear it and :
150 MEDIUM SHOT - the door and window. Two more strokes and the
noise stops • . . a pause . . . Now the noise of heavy boots . . . muttered
conversation ... a door shutting .... A single voice says one phrase ....
silence. No "reaction" shot of ALI until:
151 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT - he is walking away again but now swiftly.
His face is blank. (But NOT shocked, alarmed, outraged).
152 MEDIUM LONG SHOT - at the end of the street he has come upon a
railway marshalling yard in a wasteland. In the sunset, the rails are
dark on the glowing ground. In the middle distance a stationary shunt
ing engine sends up a softly hissing pillar of steam. Nothing else moves. r--
1 ( '•.
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152 Continued
CAMERA follows the steam up into the sky which changes from red to
dark blue as the steam gives out and the soft hiss ceases.
Descending again to ALI we see that it is now fully night and the criss
cross lines now shine light. against the 'dark, a maze. in the moonlight
ALI moves back across them (CAMERA tracking him, the moon's
reflection in the;. interlacing lines travels with us, emphasizing ~the
equivocation of their changeful directions) to:
153 LONG SHOT POV ALI .-down the street. The door of the BEY' s room
opens th~owi:J!g:a wedge of light in which four MEN stagger out with
something heavy which they pitch into the stable ya:rd and return.
154 MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT - LAWRENCE lies on the rubbish heap.
Just before the door shuts after them we see, as his body slides
downward~, what they have done to him.
155 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT - his senseless hand dragging through the
rubbish. Snow flakes settle. We hear soft running footsteps and:
156 CLOSE SHOT - ALI throws himself by his friend. He turns :· •
LAWRENCE's face towards him, staring fiercely. LAWRENCE
slowly turns his head away.
157 DISSOLVE
LONG SHOT - DAWN Two CAMEL RIDERS make their way through
a snowy landscape.
158 MEDIUM SHOT - one of them is a shapeleSSL bundle of clothing
jerking passively to the motion of the beast. The other is ALI
who has bestowed some of his clothing on his friend.
DISSOLVE
159 CLOSE SHOT - inside the fort. Night. LAWRENCE lies on his
side, on a rough bed, staring into a little fire. ALI stands over him.
Sleep! ALI
(brusquely)
160 REVERSE SHOT - shooting over LAWRENCE (we see the top of his
back, bandaged) at ALI. He repeats: ·
ALI
Sleep.! , .n :c .J•,~·•"
I
0
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10
C II-52
161 CLOSE SHOT - LAWRENCE as before, eyes ·wide open.
DISSOLVE
162 The same. Day. LAWRENCE is sitting, well wrapped~ with a
tin billy o~ rice and meat. He puts it down ..
ALI
. Eat!
LAWRENCE frowns slightly, makes no other response; Anxious
and exasperated, ALI crouches by him, picks up the billy.
ALI
.. Eat!
(he hisses)
You have a body, like other men.
For the first time, LAWRENCE responds properlY.; he attends to
ALr s word~, takes the billy and begins to eat. ALI, mollified:
ALI
Good. Then sleep.
DISSOLVE
163 The same. Night. LAWRENCE: is sitting up in the "bed" his weight
supported on his arms behind his back, lJllnk:ing: mildly.
ALI
(pleased)
Better?
LAWRENCE
Much better. You were right.
He throws back the covers. ALI extends an arm. With admiring
impatience:
ALI
Rest, rest. Can you not learn?
LAWRENCE
(looks at him. QuI~tly)
Dh I've learnt all right.
(crouching painfully, he
draws his robe towards him)
I'm going, Ali. f I
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0 i (
0
0 II-53
163 Continued
We see that this confirms a fear of ALI' s, commences a struggle
he has feared. He goes quite still. Then; sharply:
... ALI
.Why?
LAWRENCE
(inserting arm into robe)
"Why?" Heavens •..
(he lets his voice trail
away expressively)
ALI
(barks, dangerous)
LAWRENCE
(not off-hand; but quiet, .
because he is trying to give
truthful answers) ·
I've come to the endrnf myself. I suppose.
··"' '
ALI
(harsh)
And the end of the Arab Revolt.
LAWRENCE
(mild protest) rm not the Arab Revolt, Ali.
-(with the first surface feeling)
I'm not even an Arab~
ALI
(immediate)
-• "A man can be whatever he wants. "
You said.
LAWRENCE
I.'.m sorry. I thought it was true.
-ALI
You proved it!
LAWRENCE suddenly takes his own pectoral muscle between finger
a.rid thumb (SHOT to echo the BEY as nearly as may be) and speaks,
still quietly, but rapidly, with total conviction: ,------
!
: ( ;
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C 163 Continued
LAWRENCE
Look Ali. Look. That's me! What colour
is it?
(he releases the fold of
pure white flesh)
• . . That's me; and there's nothing I can
do about it. -
ALI
"A man can do whatever he wants. "
You said.
LAWRENCE
(pause. Then)
He can.· But.
(grimly)
- He can't wattt, what he wants.
(he touches his own
flesh again)
This is the stuff that decides what he wants. II-54 •
-ALI stares at him. He gets a stage rfarther in dressing. · Stops,
braces himself, taking in the BEDOUIN who have filled the wall opening
and are watching and listening, and:
LAWRENCE
You m~y as well know. I would have told
them anything. I would have told them who
I am. I would have told them where you are,
I tr.ied to.
ALI
(gently}
.And so would any man.
LAWRENCE
Well. Any man is what I am. I'm going
back to Allenby to ask him for a job that any
man can do.
ALI
Allenby is in Jerusalem.
.LAWRENCE
I' 11 make easy stages. (
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I 163 C.ontinued
ALI
you?
LAWRENCE
Oh yes. Easy stages.
(seeing. ALU s darkly
troubled face, he goes
to him)
Look, Ali, I think I see a way of being •••
just . . . ordinarily . . . happy. II-55
ALI }tnows he is going and can't or won't answer. LAWRENCE picks
LlP a huge sheepskin cape and hood.
LAWRENCE
Can I tak.ethis?
ALI
(harsh, almost sneering:)
It is not 'clean' .
LAWRENCE
(laughs at an old folly)
No.;. but·.it' s warm.
With his stiffened back he cannot get it on. ALI assists. him and we
see them in CLOSE TWO SHOT, the BEDOUIN behind.
ALI
And these? Having led them here have
you no care for them?
This touhhes LAWRENCE. But he is strong in his new widerstanding.
LAWRENCE
You lead them. They're yours.
He calls, not looking at them:
LAWRENCE
Trust your own people!
And adds to ALI, drawing away, with more than a hint of beseeching,
so that the last note of -.this scene is tender arid expectant: I I
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0 163 Continued
LAWRENCE
And let me go back to mine ...
CUT 11-56
..... --•.
164 CLOSE· UP: By way of answer the screen is filled with shining brass
and brass music crashes onto the SOUND TRACK. The brass draws
away revealing itself as a TUBA, in full blast, blown by an ARMY
BANDSMAN in undress uniform, and that this BANDSMAN is one of
some DOZEN, all of whom are marching in step blowing lustily. They
form the brass section of a MILITARY BAND at practice.·
165 LONG SHOT. An improvised parade ground beyond which are the domef
and minarets of Jerusalem. The band, led by a .DRUM MAJOR marchee:
in the near foreground while tin the .b~ckground a SMALL FIGURE
in British Officer's uniform makes its way across the open space. The
DRUM MAJOR signals smartly with his ornamented baton and the band
begins to counter-march .
. 166 MEDIDM SHOT - TWO or .TH.REE SOLDIERS in collarless shirts,
braces and khaki trousers are playing with a football.- A goal post
has been rigged up by hanging a rope between two pillars. The
SOLDIERS on the parade ground are potting at the GOALKEEPER
between the pillars. We now see that the figure in British Officer's
uniform is LAWRENCE. · He walks easily through the scene, although
his shoulders are held awkwardly, and his features are more relaxed
than we have ever seen them. He smiles at the FOOTBALLERS as he
passes them but they do not notice him. The band music continues.
· EXT. JERUSALEM HEADQUARTERS. (SEVILLE LOCATION)
167 MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE :ls walking away from CAMERA towards
-the main gateway : to ALLENBY' S H. Q. The gateway is guarded by
two BRITISH SENTRIES who spring to attention. As LAWRENCE is ab0t.
to return their salute the football bounces into picture and rolls after
LAWRENCE, coming to a stop by his side. He stops, and kicks it
back neatly in the direction from which it came.
EXT. JERUSALEM (,TORDAN)
168 MEDIUM SHOT - the FOOTBALLERS. The GOALKEEPER traps the
ball under his foot, whiletheother 2 PLAYERS acknowledge LAWRENCE'·,
gesture by a friendly wave of the hand. (
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0 Il-57
EXT. JERUSALEM. H. G. (SEVILLE. LOCATION)
169 MEDIUM SHOT - LAWRENCE. He returns the waves and goes on
through the gate saluting the two GRINNING SENTRIES as. he does so.
170 LONG SHOT. An open courtyard with pillars, jasmin and orange
trees.. Small groups of OFFICERS sit on the low wall among the
greenery. One pair plays chess. And individuEµ is absorbed in a
book. Another group vanishes indoors leaving behind it the sound of
laughter. In the centre of the courtyard through which .LAWRENCE
is walking is a big Rolls Royce being polished and washed by two
N. C. O. 's in shirtsleeves. As LAWRENCE passes these groups he
-looks at them, not wistfully or pleadingly, but pleased to be among
them, unaware that his uniform is a totally inadequate disguise
for his inborn strangeness, that he is set apart at a glance. One of
the CHESS PLAYERS - who are in the foreground of picture - looks
· up, recognises him and draws the attention of the other to him with
some excitement. Evidently he has a reputation. LAWRENCE
has seen the look and acknowledges it with a half smile. The band
music has mutated to the English theme at its most nostalgic and
pastoral. The CAl\iIERA PANS with LAWRENCE and we see doors
with notices proclaiming their secure and ordered occupants: "Signals.
Forward area. " "Transport (Mechanized);' "Brigadier T. H. Smith,
D.S. O." A door opens releasing a clatter of typewriters. A
SERGEANT with a pencil behind his ear is arrested in his walk by
a voice from within. ·
VOICE (off)
And get me those P stroke fives, Bill.
SERGEANT
Right!
He nearly bumps into LAWRENCE who essays a brief nod and
smile (quite dignified, not sychophantic) but the SERGEANT, in the
manner of busy clerical men, is too preoccupied to respond as he
makes of briskly towards the other side of the courtyard. We hear
the incredible tones of the English upper-middle-class on the
SOUND TRACK. LAWRENCE' s face lights up.
LAWRENCE
Hey!
171 CLOSE SHOT - the SECRETARY and CAPTAIN, carrying papers,
their faces correct, are entering a gateway leading to an inner
courtyard. They turn as .th~y see LAWRENCE who runs up to them
eagerly from behind. ···-·-,-(
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\ ,I ·•,,_~~-.,.... 171 Continued
LAWRENCE
Mind if I join you?
SECRETARY
Oh!
(smiBng with straight
forward courtesy)
Honoured, sir. II-58
The CAM:ERA TRACKS with the THREE as they walk across the inner
courtyard: For a moment they walk in silence, LAWRENCE looking
ahead and fidgeting with his uniform, the CAPTAIN casting sidelong
curious glances at him.
LAWRENCE
Jolly good to be back.
SECRETARY
(as before)
We heard you were, sir.
(pleasantly deferential)
What's doing out there?
LAWRENCE
(after a pause)
Where?
It is a misconceived attempt to disassociate himself from his reputaticm;
but it is taken for false modesty. The SECRETARY purses his lips.
LAWRENCE
-Oh, erm . . . Arabia?
SECRETARY
(dryly)
Well ye~, sir.
LAWRENCE
(looking away)
Oh, nothing much.
(he has made it worse, and
adds desperately)
·wrong time of year: ..
The CAPTAINS exchange a glance, SECRETARY raising his eyebrows. --·-·r ()
(0
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() 171 Continued
LAWRENCE
(eagerly)
What's doing here? ·
SECRETARY
(comfortably)
We're settling in, sir. We've built a
squash court.
LAWRENCE
Oh jolly good. II-59
The CAMERA PANS with them as they walk on into a MEDWM SHOT
at the ·other side of the inner courtyard. LAWRENCE thinks desperately
but can think of nothing to say until they reach an open archway with
a notice pointing upwards reading, "General Officer Commanding. "
LAWRENCE
Well I have to go up there.
They come to a standstill, the CAPTAINS looking at LAWRENCE.
He looks back at them defensively, and checks the buttons of his
uniform.
LAWRENCE
It's borrowed. Someone seems to have
pinched mine.
SECRETARY
(with the automatic
viciousness of the colon)
Bloody wogs.
For perhaps half. a second LAWRENCE's face goes stony. But he
is starving for humble pie. He smiles paint,ully.
LAWRENCE
Yes, probably. Jolly good about the
squash court.
The SECRETARY nods preparatory to leaving. LAWRENCE nods back .
. The CAPTAINS move off along the outer wall while LAWRENCE turns
inside.
172 REVERSE CLOSE SHOT - the CAMERA PANS with LAWRENCE as he
leaves the archway. A few steps. bring him level with a window-like 'O
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172 Continued
opening in the wall looking out over the courtyard. The two
CAPTAINS are walking past on the other side.
SECRETARY
Lays it on a bit thick doesn't he?
LAWRENCE pauses looking after them as they disappear. The old
familiar look of defensive contempt appears for a second, but almost
as though it were something tahgible he plucks it from his face and
walks on out of picture leaving a SHOT OF THE WINDOW with the
courtyard below. Across it, walking at a fast pace, comes BENTLEY.
173 MEDWM SHOT -the CAMERA is shooting up a stone staircase.
LAWRENCE climbs the last few steps to the top, turns the comer on
to an upper landing, and disappears from view as BENTLEY enters
the foreground of picture and hurries up the steps two at a time.
174 MEDIUM: SHOT - LAWRENCE opens a glass doorway leading off an
open corridor on the first.floor. The CAMERA PANS with him
into a LONG SHOT of a stone-walled room. It is the outer ring
of ALLEN BY' s defence works. Two or three CLERKS work at desks,
among them the R. S. M.
LAWRENCE
(cheerfully)
Morning!
The R. S, M. looks up indifferently, sees who it is, and promptly
rises smiling. Evidently LAWRENCE is a hero.
R. S.M.
Good morning, sir!
LAWRENCE
(passing on through the
office)
It's nice to be back.
R. S. M.
(roguishly)
. I' 11 believe you,, sir.
LAWRENCE
No, really it is.
He opens a door at the far end. ·--~---, ' I (
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I II-61
175 MEDIUM SHOT - the penultimate room. BRIGHTON stands in
foreground of picture, turns as LAWRENCE enters.
BRIGHTON
You're to go right in.
LAWRENCE passes swiftly through with a friendly wave. The CAMERA
CENTRES on BRIGHTON. From the sympathetic warmth of tone and
the keenness with which he regards him we see that LA.WRENCE' s
behavior has already aroused anxiety. He follows LAWRENCE with hi~
eyes. There is the SOUND of a door opening.
176 CLOSE SHOT - the door. (From inside ALLENBY's room)
LAWRENCE enters. He stops short, his face blank. The English
theme ends abruptly on a barbaric dissonance of cymbals.
177 MEDIUM SHOT -a figure in full Arab regalia is more or less
silhouetted against an open archway letting out on to a sunny terrace
over-looking a garden. As the: reverberations of the cymbals die
away. this figure turns and we see it is FEISAL, and that ALLENBY
and DRYDEN are also present. The CAMERA PANS with FEISAL as
he walks towards LAWRENCE smiling courteously.
FEISAL
(spontaneous pleasure)
Aurens!
He joins LAWRENCE in CLOSE SHOT and seizes him by the hand,
but as he does so the glow fades from his face and is replaced by
sadness and suspicion.
FEISAL
or is it Major Lawrence?
LAWRENCE
(saluting: formally)
Sir.
178 CLOSE SHOT - ALLENBY and DRYDEN. 'J;heir eyes on LAWRENCE.
l'I9 CLOSE SHOT - FEISAL and LAWRENCE.
FEISAL
(dropping his hand)
Ah.
The CAMERA PANS with FEISAL as he leaves LAWRENCE and moves
towards ALLENBY and DRYDEN. ,--·
(.
t
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0
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C 179 Continued
. FEISAL
Well I will leave you, General. Major
Lawrence doubtless has reports to make. Il-62
He goes towards a glass door leading directly out on to the open
<!'orridor, but pauses to deliver his salvoes.
FEISAL
About my people; and their weakness.
And the need to keep them weak. In the
British interest. · · ·
(by.the door)
The French interest too of course, we
mustn't forget the French, now.
180 CLOSE UP -ALLENBY. He is exasperated ..
ALLENBY
I've told you, sir no such treaty exists.
181 CLOSE UP FEISAL
182
183 FEISAL
Yes, General, you have lied most bravely,
But not convincingly. I know this treaty.
does exist.
CLOSE UP LAWRENCE
LAWRENCE
Treaty, sir?
CLOSE SHOT - FEISAL
FEISAL
He does it better than you, General.
(bitterly)
But then of course - he's almost an
Arab,
He sweeps out through the door.
184 CLOSE SHOT - LAWRENCE. There is a silence. He looks from
the door to ALLENBY and DRYDEN .. ·, .,,----
( .•
(:,
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! II-63
185 MEDIUM SHOT ALLENBY, LAWRENCE and DRYDEN. DRYDEN
looks curiously and keenly at LAWRENCE.
186
187 DRYDEN
You really don't know?
LAWRENCE spreads his hands to demonstrate complete incomprehen~
sion but he is already looking concerned.
ALLENBY
Then what the devils this?
He holds up a paper scrumpled in his fist.
LAWRENCE
(his tone is one of total
exhaustion in a thin
shell of correctness)
It's my request for release from Arabia,
sir.
ALLENBY
(angry)
For what reason !
(suspicious )
Are you sure you haven't heard of the
Sykes-Picot Treaty?
CLOSE SHOT LAWRENCE
No.
(wearily)
I can guess. LAWRENCE
CLOSE SHOT ALLENBY and DRYDEN
ALLENBY
(sharply)
Don't guess .
. (to DRYDEN)
Tell him.
DRYDEN steeples his fingers delicately.
DRYDEN
Well now, Mr. Sykes is an English Civil
Serveant and Monsieur Picot is a French C
0
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0 187 Continued
188
/
189
190 DRYDEN (cont)
Civil Servant. Mr. Sykes and Monsieur
Picot met. And they agreed that, after the
war, France and England should share the
Turkish Empire. .:Including Arabia.. They
signed an agreement -
(he glances at
ALLENBY)
-~ not a treaty, sir, an Agreement --- to that
effect.
CLOSE SHOT LAWRENCE
LAWRENCE
There may be honour among thieves but
there's none in politicians.
CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY and DRYDEN
DRYDEN
(when, as now, he is stung,
he is quite deadly)
And let's have no displays of indignation.
You may not have known, but you certainlY:
had suspicions.
He rises an~ walks away towards the archway over-looking the garden,
If we've told lies you've told half-lies ...
And a man who tells lies --- like me ---
merely hides the truth.
(softly)
But a man who tells half-lies . . . has forgotten
where he put it.
CLOSE UP LAWRENCE
LAWRENCE
Right. But I met a man the other day; who
showed me where it was. The truth is I'm
an ordinary man. You might have told me
that, Dryden.
191 MEDIUM: SHOT. OVER LAWRENCE on to ALLENBY and DRYDEN
DRYDEN looks at him, curiously and cautiously. LAWRENCE turns to
ALLENBY and says with a change of tone, officially but with an under
tone of threat almost, anticipating opposition: ! ( .
•
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0
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0 191 Continued
LAWRENCE
And I want an ordinary job, sir. That's my
reason for resigning . Il-65
. ALLENBY wrinkles his face irritably and grunts interrogatively,
and LAWRENCE raises his voice by a desperate little physical effort.
It's . . . personal!
ALLENBY·
{softly and irritabli
as though LAWRENCE
.was not speaking clearly)
Personal?
LAWRENCE
Yes, sir.
· ALLENBY
(starting quietly but
incredulous indignation
breaking through)
Personal? You're a Serving Officer in the
Field! And as it happens a damned important
one! Personal? Are you mad?
192 CLOSE UP LAWRENCE. HE is sweating and every muscle in his
body is rigid, and his voice comes high and strained.
LAWRENCE
No, and if you don't mind I'd rather not
~ mad! That's my reason too!
193 CLOSE SHOT ALLENBY has his own strains and he leaps from
his chair, the CMv.IERA PANNlliG with him to the window on the opposir,
side of the room from DRYDEN. He stands silently, his back to
CAMERA, making and effort to contain himself.
ALLENBY
Look Lawrence ..
194 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE
ALLENBY (off)
on the .16th April I'm making my big
push on Damascus. And you're part of
it. • I t
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195 CLOSE UP. ALLENBY. He turns to face LAWRENCE.
ALLENBY
(explosive)
Can you understand that? You're an
important part of the big push!
196 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE. He·is shaking and as he pumps out
each separated word he jerks his clenched fists up and down at
his sides.
LAWRENCE
I -- don't -- want to be -- part of your --
big push! -
197 CLOSE UP. DRYDEN. He has been looking away out into the
garden, but now he turns his head slowly. to look at the two men.
ALLENBY (off)
And what about your Arab friends? What
about them?
LA WREN CE ( off)
I have -- no -- Arab friends! I don't
want Arab friends !
DRYDEN'S eyes widen and he stares.
198 MEDIUM SHOT. From DRYDEN's point ot view we see LAWRENCE's
back in the foreground of picture with ALLENBY standing facing
him at the window in the background. Regular streaks of blood
have appeared across the back of LAWRENCE's too tight jacket.
He has opened the wounds of his flogging.
ALLENBY
(more quietly)
What in hell ~o you want, Lawrence?
LAWRENCE
(quieter)
I've told you; I just want my ration of common
hurµanity.
Lawrence. DRYDEN ( off)
(carefully offhand but very
clear) '-• ···-~
I
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198 Continued
Yes? LAWRENCE
(turning) II-67
0 ALLENBY sees what DRYDEN has seen.
I
199 CLOSE SHOT DRYDEN. He sees that ALLENBY has seen.
DRYDEN
'e No, nothing, sorry I interrupted, sir.
I
0
0
(;
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\ ... ) 200 MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE in foregrowid, ALLENBY in
background. LAWRENCE, wary and puzzled, turns back to
ALLENBY who moves forward towards him with an utter change
of tone, shocked but thinking furiously.
ALLENBY
Quite all right . . . er. Thank you, Mr
Dryden.
DRYDEN crosses picture as he goes swiftly towards the door to
BRIGHTON' s office.
DRYDEN
Thank you, sir.
ALLENBY takes l,A WRENCE by the arm and propels him towards
the archway leading on to the terrace.
ALLENBY
·Er, why don't we ... ?
The CAMERA PANS with them. We see DRYDEN shutting the door
in the background.
ALLENBY
(quickly and discreetly)
Your back's covered with blood.
LAWRENCE's hand flies up behind his back. ALLENBY continues,
sympathetic but with a calm which is complimentary to LAWRENCE.
D 'you want a doctor?
LAWRENCE
No. (
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200 Continued
ALLENBY
(after a quick glance at his
face to check his condition,
seriously)
Well tell me what's happened.
They go through on to the TERRACE where there are chairs,
a small table, drinks, magazines and newspapers.
201 MEDIUM SHOT.' The ORDERLY ROOM. BENTLEY, watched
contemptuously by the R. S. M. and ORDERLIES, is trying quite
openly, and indifferent to their opinion, to hear at the door of
BRIGHTON'S OFFICE. This is opened suddenly by DRYDEN.
His face is shocked and gloomy and he takes no more notice of
BENTLEY than if he were a waste paper basket.
202 CLOSE SHOT. DRYDEN and BENTLEY in the foreground;
BRIGHTON seen through the open door in the background. He is
staring at DRYDEN, shocked and anxious.
BRIGHTON
Shall I get a doctor?
DRYDEN
A doctor? No .
BRIGHTON
(rather fearfully)
Will I be wanted?
DRYDEN
No, Harry. Not you ...
DRYDEN closes the door.
BENTLEY
Say, what goes on in there?
DRYDEN commences to walk away from him.
DRYDEN
Nothing.
BENTLEY follows. 0
0
I. '
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(.) 202 Continued
BENTLEY
(brisldy, dismissing
the formalities of
discretion)
Ah come on.
DRYDEN
(with an exaggerated
insouciance which isn't
meant to be believed)
No really, nothing at all.
BENTLEY
Is the man in trouble?
DRYDEN
(BENTLEY' s question has
come near the quick of his
feelings; his face is a shade
less bland as he murmurs
lightly)
Oh I expect so. We're all in trouble. Life'
a vale of troubles. II-69
BENTLEY overtakes him round a desk and bars his way, adopting
a coaxing tone of voice to mitigate the offensiveness of it, but not
budging.
BENTLEY
Just tell me if the man's in trouble. I've
got an interest in the man. I've got a claim.
DRYDEN
(cold, contemptuous
and sha,rp)
What claim?
BENTLEY
(deprecating shrug)
You've read my stuff --I've made that boy
a hero.
(as one who advances
a righteous claim)
When the war's over that boy can be anything
he wants! ,0 i
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I
I. '
re·, ' , 202 Continued
DRYDEN
(trying to side-step BENTLEY,
who foils him)
Yes; well at the moment he wants to be
somebody else.
(suddenly incensed)
Will you ldndly allow me to pass? Il-70
BENTLEY does so, but, lounging deliberately, speaks deliberately
after him.
BENTLEY
Walk away, Dryden, walk away. Always
walking away, aren't you?
DRYDEN
(at the door, caught
unprepared for the
penetration pf this,
frowns a little, hesitates)
Well, I'll tell you. It's a little clash of temp
eraments that's going on in there. Inevitably.
One of them' s half mad.
(he had intended to finish
there but adds)
And the other -- wholly unscrupulous.
He reaches the door and goes out into the sunlight.
203 MEDIUM SHOT. THE.TERRACE outside ALLENBY'S OFFICE.
LAWRENCE is seated in a chair. ALLENBY leaning against a
pillar, his bottom on the terrace railing.
ALLENBY
... Yes.. Well you've had a glimpse of the
pit.
LAWRENCE
No, a glimpse. of sanity.
, (hard)
And 11m not going back.
There is a short pause. LAWRENCE's eyes are on the General's
epaulettes. ALLENBY notices the look, glances at his crowns and
crossed .swords,, and begins to unbutton his jacket. C
0
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\ .. _,./ 203 Continued
ALLENBY
You won't go mad, Lawrence.
(quite indifferently)
You've got an iron mind.
Oh no. LAWRENCE
(grimly)
(but he is pleased)
ALLENBY •
Oh yes. And here's another thing. When
you ask for "common humanity" you're crying
for the moon. Common humanity's the one
thing you can't have.
LAWRENCE
There's nothing else.
ALLENBY
(mildly)
There is, for one man every hundred years
or so.
Me? LAWRENCE
(sceptical, but we can
just see the poison beginning
to work)
ALLENBY
(taking off his jacket)
Yes, I think so. II-71
(Again he is careful to keep his voice matter-of-fact, as though this
were some small technical judgement he had just made. )
ALLENBY puts his jacket over the back of an empty chair, and
from this point on he adopts the tone used between equals and friends,
and friends of such long standing · that they can even afford to be
brusque. He regards his jacket, chuckling a little ruefully.
ALLENBY
Isn't that funny, I feel quite naked .
He busies himself collecting cigar ,cutter, matches from the table.
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' 203 · Continued
ALLENBY
And that's the difference. I'm a leader
because someone pins crowns on me.
You're a leader,
(shrugs)
because God made you one I suppose.
There's nothing you can do about it. Il-72
ALLENBY sits and seems totally preoccupied with the condition of
his cigar. LAWRENCE does not answer but looks at him suspicious,
flattered, comforted, above all longing to accept the paternal embrace
that seems to be offered.
ALLENBY
(quite idly)
You write poems don't you?
LAWRENCE
Yes
ALLENBY
Any good?
LAWRENCE
No. Bad.
ALLENBY
(nods sympathetically)
Hard luck.
LAWRENCE is a little amused and quite surprised by the degree
of understanding ALLENBY assumes.
LAWRENCE
It's not a matter of luck.
ALLENBY
'Course it is.
(he settles back
comfortably)
I grow dahlias my self.
Apparently on impulse he takes from the table a photo of his house
and offspring. He peers at it, pointing out a patch of cabbagy flowers
in the background.
ALLENBY
There. 0
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·,~ ......... ,.'
:o II-73
203 Continued
Together they study the photo. ALLENBY never looks once at his
victim, seems innocently absorbed in the subject of the conversation.
He pauses as he replaces the photo, and smiles.
ALLENBY
That's my lad. You must come and see us,
afterwards.
I'd like to. LAWRENCE
(he ·hesitates cautiously,
but says)
And it is almost like a physical object he has handed to ALLENBY -
the keys of his citadel.
ALLENBY
I've got good soil, good compost, I buy
good plants. And I'm a conscientious
gardener. But I don't have the luck to
be a good one.. So
(he grins)
I'm a gardening sort of general. Most
generals are. But there have been poet
generals. Xenophon was one. Hannibal
... Nelson was the last. I think you're
another ...
LAWRENCE
(his tone sceptical
but his smile tremulous
and reproachful)
Nelson, and me?
He is asking ALLENBY to be merciful.
ALLENBY
Yes.
LAWRENCE
That's an extraordinary thing to say to
a man.
ALLENBY
Not to an extraordinary man it isn't. C n . _ _/
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0 II-74
203 Continued
204 No. No. LAWRENCE
(thrusting it away
from him)
ALLENBY
(remorselessly matter
of-fact)
You must know it?
LAWRENCE
(almost desperately)
No!
ALLENBY
(in his cunning adopts a
tone of irritation)
Look, Lawrence, I've taken those things
off --
(rubs his shoulder}
-- and I don't feel happy without them.
I believe your name will be a household word when you'd have to go to
the War
Museum to find who Allenby was.
He makes this statement very deliberate. . His voice now becomes low, confidential, but very steady; it is temptation incarnate.
CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE
ALLEN BY ( off)
You ·a.re the most extraordinary man I
ever met.
LAWRENCE
(quick and low)
-- leave me alone --
--What? ALLENBY (off)
(quick and sharp)
LAWRENCE
(quick and low)
-- Leave me alone. ( .
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C
0
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0 II-75
205 CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY over LAWRENCE. After a pause, ALLENBY
shrugs, and the CAMERA PANS with him as he rises and moves away
with feigned hostility, turning his back looking out over the garden,
the very image of a disappointed father.
ALLENBY
That's a feeble thing to say. No wonder
your poetry's bad. ·
206 CLOSE UP. LAWRENCE looks at ALLENBY's back longingly. He
hesitates and is lost. He prevaricates:
LAWRENCE
I lmow I'm not ordinary ...
ALLENBY (off)
(short)
That's not what I'm saying.
Suddenly LAWRENCE's immobility flies apart. He is thrown about
in his chair by muscular stresses -- much as a man might respond
to a thumbscrew -- and he cries out:
LAWRENCE
All right I'm extraordinary! I'm
extraordinary!
His tone in saying this is as though he were saying, "All right I've
got cancer I" A tone of desperate lament . . . But then abruptly having
accepted it, he freezes again and looking at ALLENBY he says in
a very different tone quietly mocking, from a superior lmowledge.
LAWRENCE
What of it?
207 CLOSE UP. ALLENBY. He is now looking at LA WHENCE, but has
not yet caught the reversal of their positions.
0 ALLENBY
0
(_J
0 (gravely and kindly)
Not many people have a destiny. Lawrence.
A terrible thing for a man, to funk it,
if he has.
208 MEDIUM.SHOT. ALLENBY walks back towards his chair.
LAWRENCE
(almost smiling with
a little ·co,ld smile)
Are you speaking from experience? -·· . "/ r-······
( ;
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No. ALLENBY
(caught in mid-air -
he sits)
LAWRENCE
You 're guessing then. II-76
ALLENBY is nonplussed and begins to be uneasy. LAWRENCE says
in a deadly voice.
LAWRENCE
Suppose you're wrong.
ALLENBY
(briskly scrambles over
his unease)
Why suppose that? We both know I'm
right.
LAWRENCE
Yes.
ALLENBY
After all, it's ---
LA WREN CE interrupts him rising from his chair and walking a few
paces along the terrace where he stands in an archway his back to
the General.
LAWRENCE
I said, yes.
ALLENBY watches him, cautiously. He turns. He addresses
ALLENBY quite politely but not looking at him, as though he were
a subordinate.
LAWRENCE
April the 16th.
ALLENBY
Yes. Can you do it. I'll give you a lot
of money.
LAWRENCE
(still not looking)
Artillery? (
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0 I II-77
208 Continued
209
210 ALLENBY
I can't.
LAWRENCE
(now looking at him)
They won't be coming for money, the best
of them. They'll be coming for Damascus.
(very steadily)
Which I'm going to give them.
CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY looking up at LAWRENCE from his chair.
He blinks, but recovers immediately.
ALLENBY
That's all I want.
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE
LAWRENCE
All you want is someone holding down. the
Turkish Right. But I'm going to give them
Damascus. We'll get there before you do.
And when they've got it, they'll ke~ it.
211 CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY
212 LAWRENCE (off)
You can tell the politicians to burn their
bit of paper, now.
ALLENBY
(spuriously boisterous)
Fair enough!
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. He looks away from ALLENBY and
speaks almost idly, throwing his pearls for ALLENBY to pick up if
he can.
LAWRENCE
"Fair". What's "fair" got to do with it?
It's going to happen . . . ·
(looking at him again,
quite brisk and matter
of fact)
I shall want quite a lot of money.
-··-·-- ······~---~ ·····---··--· . -·~----.. ---. . I (~-
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--.... ...... ...,.~··
0 II-78
212 Continued
ALLENBY ( off)
All there is!
LAWRENCE
Not that much.
He leaves the courtyard and walks towards the CAMERA, looming
· up in the frame against the background of a fresco on the wall.
LAWRENCE
The best of them won't come for money.
He is now in BIG CLOSE UP. His lip quivers slightly and his eyes
glow.
LAWRENCE
They '11 come for me ...
213 LONG SHOT. Angling down the ARAB ARMY ASSEMBLED. They are
in two long lines, very well ordered. In front of their men the
Sheiks either sit their beasts or stand beside them ready to mount,
their Standard Bearers behind them. The camels are kneeling, their
riders ready. The HORSEMAN nearest CAMERA look off (past
CAMERA) stiffens, standing in his stirrups. He raises his voice in
a shrill cry.
214 EXTREME LONG SHOT. Over the level land something is approaching.
215 LONG SHOT. · Angling down the Army as before. With murmurous
excitement camels rear up, horsemen mount, all together so that
the whole line rises in one movement At the far end of the corridor
formed by the lines are two isolated horsemen, and a van with a
man on the roof drives out and joins them. (About this van: it is
a civilian, not an army vehicle - something Bentley has begged,
borrowed or stolen. I would even say it should have lettering: "T. I.
Mkapolous and Son, Gordon St., Alexandria, Finest Fresh Breads
Delivered"~ It is vital in this scene to signal to the audience that we
are not offering magnificence in lieu of a properly controlled finale,
like a Charlton Heston Sampson and Delilah, that we the film-makers
do not take it at face value. Bentley is the vitalizing point of disturb
ance in this epic atmosphere which he will enrich, not destroy, if we
use him bodily. Nothing like a streak of low comedy running through
a scene of high drama - vide the late William Shakespeare.)
216 MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT. The man on the roof is BENTLEY, with a
tripod camera. The two horsemen are ALI and A UDA. ( '
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AUDA
No pictures! You take no pictures of us!
BENTLEY
It;s not for you Sheik Auda, it's for Major
Lawrence; he doesn't mind having his
picture taken.
(he adds for ALI's benefit)
He doesn't min.cf ~tall. II-79
AUDA knows this is true and he regards it as a fault. He removes
himself from this offensive man a few yards, grumbling:
.. AUDA
Well ... There is only one Aurens ...
And staring keenly off towards:
217 LONG SHOT. As for 214 but the moving object is now seen to be
a bunch of camel men, riding rapidly, a white figure among them.
218 MEDIUM SHOT. BENTLEY and ALI. BENTLEY ostensibly busies
himself with his camera, says lightly:
C ~m~
0
r' ../
,· \
' ,i,.._)
i You, erm, met Major Lawrence since he
came back, Sherif?
ALI
Yes.
BENTLEY
Changed, hasn't he?
ALI
(loyally)
No.
BENTLEY
Oh I'd say he had. Different man, I'd
say.
219 LONG SHOT. Exactly as for 214 and 217 but we can now recognise
LAWRENCE
220 BENTLEY and ALI, as before.
____ ., (
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BENTLEY
What did that Turkish General do to him,
in Deraa? -
ALI
(fighting down his own
fear, with , anger)
He was the same man aiter Deraa . . . the
same man humbled!
· (the humbleness was an
added virtue evidently)
What did the English General do to him, in
Jerusalem?
BENTLEY
(amused and pleased by
ALI's percipience)
Seach me. Ask Aurens. II-80
221 LONG SHOT as for 214, 217, 219, but now LAWRENCE and his group
are nearly at the entrance to the corridor.
222 BENTLEY and ALI, as before.
f > ALI
()
0 (
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C I did.
BENTLEY
What did he say?
ALI
He laughed . . . He told me to gather the
Harith, here . . . He offered me money.
BENTLEY
( chirpily ignoring ALI' s .deep
and apprehensive tone)
D'you take it?
ALI
No. But many did.
223 MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT. LA WHENCE and his BODYGUARD ride
between the ranks. (On SOUND TRACK the Tribesmen break into
adulation, some shouting his nam~, some simply shouting, so that there
is a gradually rising fury of sound underlain by the chant "El Aurens·!" (;·
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223 Continued
as he progresses) They ride tightly bunched, not filling the screen.
LAWRENCE is at the head, but definitely one of them, not removed.
He is mounted on a magnificent white camel, outrageously caparisoned,
though he himself is still all white. His expression is exalted; this we
have seen before. But it is also unwittingly desperate - he is not fully
aware of himself, imperfectly in control of himself - and this we have
not seen before. The BODYGUARD ride beautifully, every man an
expert. LAWRENCE turns his eyes from side to side, taking in the
Army, but the BODYGUARD keep·: their brutalized faces immobile,
save perhaps for a faint suggestion of a sneer, a secret rather nasty
joke. They are contemptuous of all this merely legitmate might.
Outsiders who have sold themselves to LAWRENCE, they concern
themseives with him only. They are all of a kind. They are superbly
dressed, armed to the tetth.
224 TRACK SHOT. Along the face of the ARAB ARMY. We now see that
behind and among the Tribesmen are men of a different kind, mounted
on mules, even donkeys, some very poorly dressed, in literal black
rags, one or two doubled up on rangy farm camels. But all have rifles
and bandoliers - British Arm Webbing in the case of the poorer. All
are in a state of wild exci~ement, but we now pass a Sheik, sitting his
horse before his men, and as he sees LAWRENCE's party :
225 PANNING SHOT. LAWRENCE and BODYGUARD P. 0. V. the SHEIK.
226 As for 224. The SHEIK looks horrified, bewildered, alarmed, in
contrast to the open mouths, staring eyes and wildly flapping arms
behind him.
227 As for 223. LAWRENCE and BODYGUARD.
228 As for 224 TRACKING ALONG the Arab Army. Another Sheik with the
same reaction.
229 As for 223 and 227. LAWRENCE and BODYGUARD.
230 As for 224 and 228, TRACKING. ANOTHER SHEIK with the same
reaction.
231 CLOSE SHOT ALI. The van behind him. He is reacting exactly like the
three SHEIKS. But bewilderment and alarm give way to indignation. He
whips his horse and takes off down the corridor.
LAWRENCE and his BODYGUARD, half way up the corridor now, with
the adulation at its climax, are joined by ALI. ( .
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ALI
What is this?
LAWRENCE
This is my Bodyguard. II-82
ALI turns in his saddle and inspects them with the cold eye of the
aristocrat, then turning back:
ALI
There is not a man there without a price
on his head.
LAWRENCE
(quite quietly)
There's a price on my head, too.
ALI
(excitedly)
But these are murderers! Do you know the
Sheiks will hang these men?
LAWRENCE
(flatly)
These men are mine.
ALiis unwilling to accept the meaning of all this. He reasons:
ALI
Aurens, these things know nothing of the
Arab Revolt - You·! Khitan of Aleppo!
231A CLOSE SHOT. KHITAN, spokesman for the BODYGUARD.
KIDTAN
Sherif?
ALI
Where, do we ride?
KHITAN
Damascus, Sherif.
ALI
(dryly)
Ayej but for what? ( '
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KHITAN
(an insolent little smile,
glancing at his protector)
Sherif, for Aurens. 11-83
ALI turning back, is horrified to find the insolent smile of KHIT AN
reflected in the face of LAWRENCE, who has heard the interchange.
ALI
(contemptuous)
You have bought these things!
LAWRENCE
(he makes it reasonable to
cut deeper)
I bought half the men here, Ali.
231B MEDIUM SHOT. The yelling tribesmen.
ALI
(un!!omf ortable; he would
prefer to have done without
them, though he knows they are needed:)
That is different.
(gesturing to BODYGUARD , hotly)
These are not ordinary~-
He means they are monsters but LAWRENCE chooses to misunderstand him. interrupting heavily: ·
LAWRENCE
I don't want ordinary men.
And he comes down heavily on the phrase, awakening echoes of Second
Azrak and Corruption scenes. He whips up his mount and the BODY -
GUARD surge after him, leaving ALI to pull his way out of it as best
he can. He looks after them, full of foreboding. The Tribesmen fall
more quiet, wondering what LAWRENCE will do.
231.C MEDIUM LONG SHOT P. 0. V. ALI. The BODYGUARD sweeping away
down the corridor, towards AUDA.
231D CLOSE SHOT AUDA. He spurs off to meet. LAWRENCE. The Army
falls silent. ( .
•
0
0
•
C
0 231E CLOSE MOVING SHOT. THE BODYGUARD have formed the open "U"
formation in which they will ride, protecting LAWRENCE from contact
with the common herd.
231F CLOSE MOVING SHOT. On the outside of the BODYGUARD, AUDA on
his horse cannot approach LAWRENCE. He gradually falls behind, his
face dark, not with anger or foreboding, but incomprehension.
231G CLOSE MOVING SHOT. LAWRENCE, at the end of the corridor now,
simply raises his stick and increases his pace to a gallop, crying:
LAWRENCE
Damascus!
It catches the assembled Tribesmen unprepared, then in one beat they
roar and spur after him, the swifter to the fore.
231H MEDIUM TRACKING SHOT. BENTLEY bumps along on the roof of his
van, eagerly taking pictures of the motley units of the Army as they
pour past him. ALI reins alongside, looking down sternly. BENTLEY
chooses his· tone.
BENTLEY
Ah, come on Sherif. My little machine
can't put the curse on a whole army I
231 I AERIAL LONG ~HOT. MUSIC UP. The ARAB ARMY streams away, a
very rough broad arrow·behind LAWRENCE and the BODYGUARD,
trailing· stragglers. like streamers of seaweed. Leaving BENTLEY and
his van behind.
f ..
DISSOLVE
232_. MEDIUM SHOT. A large British Army tent, Interior. It is pitched
on bare earth by the road to DAMASCUS. Outside we hear a Military
band receding "Goodbye Tipperary", and the regular tramp of infantry,
and motor vehicles in low gear: a Brigade going up to the Front.
ALLENBY sits at a camp table on a camp chair in an attitude of
enforced patience, stirring a cup of tea. His dress exhibits those
little personal irregularities which Officers permit themselves on
active service. ·
233 REVERSE SHOT. Before him sit four groups of high ranking STAFF
OFFICERS at four tables littered with papers. The largest group is
Infantry, administrative and thoughtful; the next Artillery, very busy;
at. the next Cavalry, conscientiously dashing, booted legs crossed;
finally the Specialists --- Native Affairs, Allied Liaison, Medicals,
Signals. At the moment every one of these important men is silently
----~-·--- ----,----·
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II-85
233 Continued
stirring a cup of tea and staring sternly at the CAMERA (i.e. at
ALLENBY) except for the Artillery table which is even now being
served from a large tray by a white-coated Arab SERVANT, who
then goes, through the flap which is whipped open and shut after
him by a Military Policeman on guard qutside. At once:
'
ALLENBY
Very well gentlemen --- The Cavalry's
gone througn Mazril and Deraa ---
(he breaks off and bestows
a wintry smile .on the .
Cavalry Table)
-- Very good by the way, very good indeed.
Cavalry Officers show a certain consciousness. Others poker-faced.
ALLENBY
Now.
(he sits back)
Your tum.
ARTILLERY GENERAL
(on his feet --- a man with a
fierce moustache to single him
out)
If the enemy's retreating in any kind of order
--- which we'd better assume ---?
ALLENBY
--- Certainly ---
ARTILLERY GENERAL
Then he can't be further than --
(glances at map before him)
--- this Mallud place. In which case I can
have him within range by
(a moment's pause before he
commits himself)
0900 hours tomorrow.
ALLENBY
(his face lights up)
Splendid!
All eyes turn on the INFANTRY GENERAL. A more cautious spirit. ( .
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INFA.i.~TRY GENERAL
Well these are the last Infantry supports going
up now sir. But Mallud . . . Could have the
Fusiliers there by Wednesday, sir.
ALLENBY
That'll do for now.
(to ARTILLERY GENERAL)
The guns are what matter.
· ARTILLERY GENERAL
(quietly reassuring)
Understood sir.
CAVALRY GENERAL
(rather superior, rising
from map)
This "Arab Arµiy11 on the Right sir,
What's it consist of?
BRIGHTON
(addressing him)
Irregular cavalry, sir; about two thousand.
CAVALRY GENERAL
And where are they now?
BRIGHTON
(almost proudly)
Can only know that by being with them sir.
ALLENBY
(rising. A little irritable)
Then ~ with them Harry; I want to know.
BRIGHTON
Yes sir. II-86
ALLENBY goes, breaking up the meeting; his gait shows he has some
specific task awaiting elsewhere but he pauses by the ARTILLERY
GENERAL to take his arm and murmur:
ALLENBY
Pound them Charley, pound them ...
234 EXTERIOR NIGHT. The ,rumble of guns, the horizon flickering. ( '
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235 REVERSE SHOT. The feet of camels pace in soft sand. Low drum
MUSIC mingles with the rumble. The light flickers faintly.
CAMERA lifts to reveal the faces of LAWRENCE and the LEADERS,
lit by the same light. Behind them the dark mass of the Arab Army
shuffles forwards. LAWRENCE rides in a clear space, protected
by the BODYGUARD, the LEADERS excluded.
ALI
(softly)
God help the men who lie under that.
AUDA, his face gloomy and disapproving, grunts agreement, nodding
at ALI. LAWRENCE from his artificial solitude raises his voice.
LAWRENCE
(flippantly)
They1 re Turks !
BODYGUARD laugh softly. LAWRENCE is, for the first time, playing
unconsciously witlt his pistol, clicking the hammer and spinning the
chambers. ALI looks at him.
ALI
(stubbon1ly)
God help them.
CUT
236 DAYT™E. The High Road to DAMASCUS. (MUSIC, English theme)
British Army men and vehicles swing past us. All is different as
maybe from the wildly individual horde of the Arab Army. Faces
are fair, hair is golden, uniforms bleached and laundered. There
must inevitably be sweat and dust but this is the merest film upon
the basic good order. In a series of shots we see the men from
slightly above to emphasize their humanity, the vehicles from slightly
below to emphasize their prowess. On vehicles and shoulder flashes
we read the pastoral names: "Green Howards" "Sussex Yeomanry"
"Duke of Cornwall's Light Infantry". One open car is uncomfortably
filled with War Correspondents, one of them BENTLEY~- Then guns --
everything shining and buckled down, nothing loose, flapping, jerking
as among LAWRENCE' s promi.scuous riders. By the side of the road
we come upon ALLENBY' s Staff Car, engine revving. By it a camel
is being led away by an N, C. O. wearing a khaki kaffir. BRIGHTON
similarly clad, is in the act of slamming the car door and seating
himself in it, by ALLENBY. As he does so the car moves off.
BRIGhTON
He's got the bit between his teeth, all rlght.
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ALLENBY
Cocky?
BRIGHTON
More than cocky, sir, he ... He's got the
bit between his teeth. All right. I think
he'll get to Damascus before we do, sir.
Unless ....
ALLENBY
Unless---?
BRIGHTON
WelL there's a Turkish column in front
of him. Out of Mazril.
They avoid one another's eyes.
ALLENBY
What did _the Turks have in Mazril?
BRIGHTON
Brigade, sir.
ALLENBY
(grunts)
I wonder where they are ... ll-88
CUT TO
A237 MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT (probably long focus lens) Part of the village
can be seen through wisps of smoke rising from black and charred
foreground. The CAMERA PAJ.'{S a little following a BRIGHTLY
COLOURED PIECE OF WOMAN'S CLOTHING as it blows up a path
way behind the smoke and comes to rest on what appears to be a
HUMAN HAND sticking up out of the debris.
237 LONG SHOT: (Already shot). Showing atrocities and ending on dead
woman.
238 CLOSE TRACK1NG SHOT .. (from behind) On the BACK OF A YOUNG
SOLDIER at the end of the .column. He turns and looks back right to
left towards camera. We see he has a peasant, bovine face. A MAN
next to him slaps him on the ·back and he turns his head round again.
CAMERA CRANES 1,1pwards and thus discloses a LONO SHOT of the
whole COLUMN as it moves away from·us. -,
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239 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT (from the front) A GROUP OF TURKISH
SOLDIERS (only one or two with rifles). They shuffle along not look -
ing at one another. '
I
240 CLOSE SHOT, A GROUP .OF SICK AND EXHAUSTED MEN lying
huddled on the floor of a . jolting cart. Besides them walk OTHER
MEN hanging on·. the cart ·which supports their flagging energy.
(Try and select sympathetic peasant faces).
241 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT A GUN CARRIAGE. AN EXHAUSTED
MIDDLE-AGED MAN sits among a collection of bedding, buckets,
nose~ags and a coop of chickens.
241A BIG CLOSE SHOT. TRACKING - THE MIDDLE-AGED MAN
(Chickens in the background) He stares vacantly ahead.
242 LONG SHOT TRACKING - What he sees: THE COLUMN sprawled
out in the desert in front of him.
242A CLOSE TRACKING SHOT On the BACKS OF THE LEADING COLUMN.
The back of the TURKISH COMMANDANT silhouetted against the glaring
desert beyond. ·
·243 MEDIUM .SHOT: A GROUP OF TURKISH SOLDIERS surrounding a
section of CAMP KITCHENS piled with rifles, bandoliers, rugs
and kitchen utensils. The CLANGING NOISE which we have heard
throughout the sequence :'is now shown to come from:
243A C~OSE SHOT TWO ffiON LADLES swing against each other with a
raucous clamour like a parody of church bells. The LADLES swing
into BIG CLOSE UP, their clanging becomes louder and louder.
CUT TO
244 CLOSE SHOT The SCREEN is momentarily MAUVE, the mauve of
Lawrence's banner; it passes out of picture disclosing LAWRENCE
himself. He is sitting tense on his camel looking around the village
his breath coming in gasps. He stirs his camel onwards and we see
the ARAB ARMY passing through the ruins. (Possibly craning
upwards as LAWRENCE goes out of picture)
245 CLOSE SHOT. From behind a foreground of the PINIONED MAN
(whom we saw in the first long shot with the Turkish Column). AUDA
rides up into CLOSE SHOT, his face black with anger and certainty.
246 MEDIUM SHOT. THE CAMERA is shooting on to the. backs of a
GROUP OF HORSEMEN led by AUDA as they mount the ridge over
the village. THE CAMERA CRANES upwards disclosing the TURKISH
COLUMN on the plain beyond. I (
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247 LONG SHOT. THE ARAB ARMY. The long line of the ARAB ARMY
appearing over the ridge.
248 CLOSE SHOT ALI (with the village behind) He comes to a standstill ..
on the ridge, apprehensive, appalled by the emotions which are
249 r_~pidly gathering force around him. LAWRENCE enters the foreground
of picture in BIG CLOSE UP. He stops gazing out across the plain.
It is quite apparent that he is wrestling with inner conflicts beyond
the immediate situation. There is the SOUND of a distant bugle.
MEDIUM SHOT. THE TURKISH COLUMN, There is a spurt of
sudden activity, the SOLDIERS look back fearfully and spur on their
animals. The BUGLE continues loud. . ..... ···--··--1
250 LONG SHOT THE ARAB ARMY are already along the ridge overlooking
the plain. The REAR COLUMN still moving up behind. KHITAN moves
into BIG CLOSE SHOT in foreground of picture. He looks straight
ahead.
KHITAN
{very softly)
No prisoners.
251 BIG CLOSE UP_ LAWRENCE with ALI beside him in the background
BOTH MEN have heard KHITAN. LAWRENCE'S breathing becomes
more rapid. ALI looks at him closely.
ALI
(warningly and anxiously)
Damascus, Aurens ...
LAWRENCE appears not to have heard. There is a SOUND of horses'
hooves.
252 CLOSE UP AUDA comes to a halt in BIG CLOSE UP with LAWRENCE
and ALI in the background. AUDA looks out over the plain. He draws
his sword with a grating ring.
253 CLOSE UP LAWRENCE and ALI.
ALI
(his eyes go from AUDA
to LAWRENCE)
Aurens. not this, Go round. Damascus.
Damascus, Aurens, go round, go round. C
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254 CLOSE UP KHITAN, now very exc~ted.
KHITAN
(to the BODYGUARD)
No prisoners.
254A BIG CLOSE UP LAWRENCE, again he seems to have heard KHITAN'B
remark. He looks terrified. His eyes stare inwards, he licks his
lips; he is shaken by a last conflict with the diabolic in himself. Then
is the SOUND of horses hooves. LAWRENCE glances over to his righ.,
255 LONG SHOT THE ARAB ARMY lined up on the ridge. A SINGLE
HORSEMAN is coming out from the line, ahead of the others. All
eyes are upon him.
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE, ALI and AUDA
ALI
(appealing to him to
stop this next move)
Aurensl
AUDA
(holding up his hand to
stop any interference
from LAWRENCE)
This was Talaal' s village!
CLOSE SHOT. T ALAAL comes to a halt in the foreground of picture1
his back to camera. In the background is the 'TURKISH COLUMN.
CLOSE UP T ALAAL. He looks fixedly after the Turks. He suddenly
takes hold of himself, draws his sword, dashes his stirrups into the
mare's flanks and gallops out of picture.
BIG CLOSE UP .LAWRENCE. A shivering intake of breath.
LONG SHOT: Shooting on to the BACKS OF THE ARAB ARMY, now qu:
still, in foreground of picture with TALAAL galloping away from them
towards the TURKISH COLUMN in the background.
CLOSE SHOT. AUDA watching TALAAL.
CLOSE SHOT. ALI watching TALAAL.
LONG FOCUS PANNING SHOT of TALAAL's charge. Bending low
and swaying in the saddle TALAAL charges across the plain. THE
CAMERA ZOOMS in until he and his mount are filling the screen. 0
t 0
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II-92
264 MEDIUM SHOT. The REAR OF THE TURKISH COLUMN has come to
a halt. In foreground of picture ONE OR TWO TURKISH SOLDIERS
stand gaping, mesmerised by the charge. In the background OTHER.
SOLDIERS run for their weapons.
265 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. TALAAL. He rises up in the saddle, raisr,
his sword and cries in a tremendous shout:
TALAAL
Talaal ! ! Talaal ! ! 1
266 CLOSE SHOT. A GROUP OF TURKISH RIFLEMEN kneel and fire.
267 MEDIUM SHOT. Through a foreground of RIFLE SMOKE we see
TALAAL and his HORSE crash to the ground and slither to the feet
of the TURKISH RIFLEMEN.
268 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT • TALAAL' s body rolls over towards camera.
revealing BIG CLOSE UP, BLOOD-SOAKED DUST AND SAND.
269 CLOSE SHOT.. LAWRENCE. He gulps convulsively, then shouts with
a terrible conviction:
LAWRENCE
No prisoners! ! No prisoners! !
- and he is off.
270 CLOSE UP. AUDA. , With a terrifying ruthlessness he spurs hls horse
on out of picture.
271 CLOSE UP KfilTAN. He is almost laughing. He too moves on out
of picture.
272 CLOSE SHOT. ALI. In the background the ARAB ARMY is moving
forward and past him in a wave. He lugs out his sword.
ALI
Oh God.
He spurs his horse forward. THE CAMERA begins to TRACK
ALI
God! God!! .God!!!
And he too is swept up into the frenzy. ( .
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273 LONG SHOT. THE ARAB ARMY descending from the village on to the
plain. As they gather speed the thud of horses hooves rises in crescendo
as they pass CAM:ERA in a cloud of dust.
274 MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT. {From behind) PANIC at the REAR of the
TURKISH COLUMN. A series of clattering jolts as HORSES and
MULES are whipped forward and take up the strain of their vehicles ..
MEN, looking fearfully backwards, run for their rifles and bandoliers.
DUST begins to rise.
275 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. (From behind) Against a background of
panicking men a MACHINE GUN and its TRIPOD is being dragged from
the back of a mule.
276 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. (From behind) A GUN CARRIAGE.
BEDDING and BANDOLIERS are thrown aside. The EXHAUSTED
MIDDLE-AGED MAN is dragged from his perch and the CAMERA PANS
DOWN with him as he falls to the ground surrounded by SCURRYING
FEET.
277 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT LAWRENCE. His face is distorted with a
sort of dreadful mirth. He subconsciously raises his pistol. What he's
always wanted - dreaded - is :upon him.
278 BIG CLOSE UP THE LADLES of the CAMP KITCHEN clang together
with unnatural loudness and move rapifily away from camera into a
MEDIUM SHOT disclosing a chaotic picture of turning wheels, running
feet and men on donkeys - all fleeing from camera .
279 MEDIUM SHOT (57 mm?) The DEAD BODIES of TALAAL and his
HORSE form the foreground of the picture. The first wave of the
ARAB ARMY sweep around and over them.
280 CLOSE SHOT. A GROUP of some HALF DOZEN KNEELING TURKISH
RIFLEMEN - now some yards from the rear of the retreating Turkish
Column - fire a volley.
281 CLOSE SHOT TRACKING. TWO ARABS are swept from their horses.
A BANNER crashes down in front of camera.
282 LONG SHOT (From behind) THE TURKISH COLUMN is .. spread out into
the distance. Spasmodic rifle fire is taken up all along the line.
Like a great wave THE ARAB ARMY streams in from under. camera
about to engulf the Turkish rear.
283 MEDIUM SHOT (57mm STATIC CAMERA) The CHARGING ARAB
HORSEMEN as seen from the rear of the Col11P1n, In the foreground
of picture the HEADS and SHOULDERS of the TURKISH RIFLEMEN,
their backs to camera, rise up with their hands above their heads. (
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284 CLOSE SHOT TRACKING: AUDA and his BODYGUARD fire from the
saddle.
285 CLOSE UP TRACKING_. LAWRENCE, his eyes wild and staring.
286 CLOSE SHOT. THE TURKISH RIFLEMEN lying sprawled over each other
dead. Flying horses hooves obliterate them.
287 MEDIUM LONG SHOT. The FRONT OF THE ARAB ARMY starts to
engulf the TURKISH COLUMN ma fU' shaped formation, HORSEMEN
dashing up on either side, firing into the panicking TURKS.
288 CLOSE SHOT. THE TURKISH COMMANDER, his HORSE rearing,
-surrounded by fleeing MEN and ANIMALS, shouts orders into the bedlam
He leaps from his horse. (Not more than five feet in all).
289 MEDIDM LONG SHOT. (75 mm?) The ARAB HORSEMEN are galloping
past on either side of the TURKISH COLU:MN, turning it into a dusty
corridor of panic, violence and death. The CAMERA PANS with the
290
291
292
293
294
295 ARABS as they blast their way along the column.
CLOSE SHOT. A GROUP OF TERRIFIED TURKS sheltering against a
vehicle, the F ARSIDE ARAB HORSEMEN racing past in background.
CLOSE SHOT. (Long focus lens) RUNNING FEET in foreground of
picture, HORSES HOOVES · in background. A BODY falls into _picture
and takes the place of the feet.
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. AUDA (On the farside of the column} He
raises his sword and hacks downwards.
MEDIUM SHOT. MUSIC CUT. A group of Turks under the frenzied
direction of the COMMANDER, is unlimbering two field guns.
MEDIUM SHOT. AUDA, still followed by his standard bearer, and his
section~· stares keenly, points and sets off another charge. MUSIC.
LONG SHOT. MUSIC continuing. . From AUD.i\f s point of view we
hurtle towards the gun crews and the COMMANDER, who have their
backs turned, and are facing a group of the ~ODYGUARD who wheel
to charge in the distance. Then we are on top of them:
296 CLOSE SHOT. MUSIC continuing; they turn: some scream.
297 CLOSE SHOT. AUDA hacking downwards with his sword. MUSIC CUTS
298 CLOSE SHOT. TURKISH feet run diagonally across the screen.
299 CLOSE SHOT. TURKISH feet run diagonally across the screen in
the opposite direction.
300 CLOSE SHOT. Horses hooves .. MUSIC.
301 CLOSE FLASH SHOT. ALI sabering into the CAMERA.
302 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. LAWRENCE and a group of the BODY
GUARQ~ charge. ' ,--
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304
305
306
307 II-95
CLOSE TRACKrnG SHOT. The Turkish kitchen units flee before the
CAMERA. The BODYGUARD rides' through and over them leaving them
sprawled and bloody. :-,
CLOSE SHOT. ALI wheels his horse, he stares at:
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE fires his pistol point-blank into a man's
face.
LONG SHOT. A group of some thirty Turks fan away from us, running.
CLOSE SHOT. A compact mass of BEDOUIN, led by LAWRENCE,
flashes across the screen.
308 CLOSE SHOT. Speeding towards a single Turkish SOLDIER.
309 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE riding full belt at the CAMERA raises
his pistol.
310 CLOSE SHOT. TURKISH SOLDIER goes over backwards, his face
bloody. MUSIC CUTS.
311 MEDIUM SHOTS. Turkish Soldiers stumble blindly'tbx.o:qgh•the
swirling dust in every direction.
312 CLOSE SHOT. AUDA in the dust hacking.
313 CLOSE SHOT. ALI, in the dust, coughing.
314 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE in the dust, firing. 315 LONG SHOT. The sun seen through the
dust is red and declining.
316 MEDIUM SHOT. MUSIC. Four Turkish Soldiers run into
comparatively clean air from the dust.
317 MEDIUM SHOT. A group of twenty or thirty BEDOUIN pursue them.
318 CLOSE SHOT. The TURKS are cut down in a flash.
319 MEDIUM LONG SHOT. The BEDOUIN wheel.
320 CLOSE SHOT. MUSIC CUT. ALI watc)ling this, breathing hard.
· He drops his sword and dismounts for it. He picks it up and stares
blinking like a man coming from a trance. He looks about. , , ---- ( (
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321 MEDIUM SHOT. The BEDOUIN are disappearing back into the
322 drifting pall of dust along the fringe of which lie bodies of men
, and horses.
MEDIUM SHOT. Another little group of TURKS run from the dust
pall towards the CAMERA.
323 CLOSE SHOT. ALI watches them indifferently. It is obvious he
will let them go.
324
325
326 MEDIUM SHOT. MUSIC. When the TURKS are quite near they see
ALI and are terror struck. Then they fall on their knees. But
LAWRENCE and the BODYGUARD appear like a thunderbolt out of
the dust pall. They tear up to and pass the TURKS, LA WREN CE
firing, the BODYGUARD striking out. The TURKS fall.
CLOSE SHOT. ALI. He calls as LAWRENCE flashes past him ..
ALI
Aurens!
MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE wheels and gallops past again with
his men.
327 CLOSE SHOT. ALI calls after him again.
328
329
330
331
332
333 ALI
Aurens:
CLOSE FLASH SHOT. LAWRENCE, unheeding, returns to the
carnage, his face stupefied with excitement.
MEDIUM SHOT. MUSIC CUTS. A group of some fifty TURKISH
SOLDIERS are herded together and raising their hands looking
straight at, and backing away from:
CLOSE SHOT. AUDA, with his men on either side of him, trots slowly towards them. He stops. He sheathes his sword, he raises
his rifle; his men follow suit.
MEDIUM SHOT. The TURKS turn and run.
CLOSE SHOT. AUDA and his men firing.
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. ALI searches amongst the dust, which
shows in glimpses the result of the carnage, calling:
ALI
Aurens! I ( .
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~------334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343 ll-97
CLOSE SHOT. A TURK runs across his front, followed a
moment later by dismounted BODYGUARD holding swords, two
handed.
ALI
Aurens~
CLOSE SHOT. In the dust a mounted BEDOUIN is shooting a
group of harnessed Turkish baggage animals, methodically reloading before each round. The range is about five yards and the horses
are
screaming.
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE and the BODYGUARD on the fringe of
the pall, his back to us. The sun is low behind them. ALI appears
at a little distance.
Aurens!
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE turns his head slightly. We see his
face but ALI approaching cannot. It is quite mindless and very frightening. He is reloading the chambers of his pistol.
ALI
Aurens!
(Joins him)
Enough:
EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. LA WREN CE' s hands reloading the pistol,
While on SOUND TRACK ALI repeats.
Enough! Make them stop~
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE turns his face slowly from us to the
CAMERA. We cannot see it but ALI can. He stares, his eyes
widening. He backs his horse instinctively.
MEDIUM SHOT. A group of TURKISH OFFICERS, some on horses,
others clinging to their stirrups, break away in the distance.
ME~>IUM SHOT. LAWRENCE sees them. His face blazes again.
shouts and with the BODYGUARD takes off after them. The dust
closes over ALI whose face is aghast.
CLOSE SHOT. A Turkish corpse in the billowing bust.
CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. In the billowing dust a ludicrous and
apocalyptic figure appears. It is an elderly TURKISH SOLDIER,
unarmed, his face caked with
dry blood, mounted on a DONKEY.
He gabbles the name of God in an audible voice as he appears and ( ·.
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0 II-98
343 Continued
disappears in the dust.
344 CLOSE SHOT. An Arab stalks through the dust, his rifle ready.
345 CLOSE SHOT. A TURK stumbles wildly through the dust in any
direction. He stops when he comes upon:
346 CLOSE SHOT. A BEDOUIN removing the boots from a group of
corpses. He takes up his rifle and shoots the TUg_K.
347 CLOSE SHOT. The MAN ON THE DONKEY leaves the dust and makes
for open country. The moon is rising.
348 CLOSE SHOT. Three or four BEDOUIN trot silently, their rifles
ready~
349 CLOSE SHOT. A heap of dead donkeys, tangled in the harness of up--
350
351
352
353
354
355
356 turned little ,trucks, coughing is heard in the dust.
CLOSE SHOT. A BODYGUARD cocks his head and listens intently
to the coughing; a pistol in his hands.
MEDIUM LONG SHOT. THE MAN ON THE DONKEY, out in the open.
CLOSE SHOT. AUDA sees, takes off after him.
CLOSE SHOT. The man hears AUDA COMING. He spurs his donkey,
MEDIUM SHOT. The MAN ON THE DONKEY towards us. AUDA is
coming up behind him. When the TURK is right up to the CAMERA~
AUDA is right up with him and for a second fills the screen.
CLOSE SHOT. AUDA reins in; the dead TURK behind him; the
donkey standing. AUDA sheathes his sword, takes out his rifle and
shoots the donkey.
CLOSE SHOT. · His graphic face is merciless and stern but not excited
It is the face of Mars satisfied.
357 EXTREME LONG SHOT. The moon has risen clear and lovely above
the hills. CAMERA pans round the hills to:
358 MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE oa an eminence, mounted on his camel 1
looking over' what he has done~ which we have not yet seen. ALI is
in a parallel stance but removed at a distance from him. . "·-, r
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II-99
MEDIUM SHOT. Behind them BENTLEY approaches on a peasant's
camel with a dilapidated saddle, precariously hanging on, a vulgarly
comical figure.
360 CLOSE SHOT. He shouts out: (he is eager for his story)
, 0 BENTLEY
'o
t
361
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362
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0 Hey, Major! Major Lawrence!
He slithers down protecting his camera, not himself, and runs up the
incline panting. But when he sees what is to be seen his expression
changes:
Jesus wept!
This is an expression of pµre shock, but after .a pause his face discloser
a fund of natural pity and the sadness of his too wide experience, too
little understood. Deeply and simply:
BENTLEY
Jesus wept •....
LONG SHOT .. With a chord of MUSIC we see the field of battle. The
half-stripped bodies of the TURKS lie like ivory in the pale light, in
swathes and rows. It is a Golgotha. A few ARABS make their way amorit
them, stooping. From this distance ALI calls,· his voice cracking with
bitterness.
ALI
Does it suprise you, Mr. Bentley?
CAMERA approaches him.
Surely you know the Arabs are a
barbarous people! ... Barbarous and
cruel? Who but they----?
(He swallows)
Who but they -----?
(He breaks off)
CLOSE SHOT. BENTLEY, looking up at the mounted figure of
LAWRENCE in a tone not of hatred or disgust, but of lamentation for a
fallen hero:
BENTLEY
Oh, you rotten man.
He aims his camera, and v,e see LAWRENCE from his viewpoint, a
magnificent and romantic figure against the sky, and himself crouching
like an inferior animal. I ( ;
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BENTLEY (cont)
Here. Let me take your rotten
bloody picture.
He does so and aims his _camera again.
For the rotten bloody newspapers. ll-100
LAWRENCE suffers it, his face like marble in the magnesium flare.
CUT
363 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. A galloping ARAB HORSEMAN. He carrh°:f·
a bunch of unripe grapes.
CUT TO
364 LAWRENCE as before, but now entirely alone. The horseman reins in
and holds out the grapes.
HORSEMAN
(triumphant)
These were cut last night Aurens --
in Damascus~
365 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. He takes them and stares at them.
366
367 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. The translucent green beads of fruit quiver
in his hands, while on SOUND TRACK tµe HORSEMAN repeats invitingJ:-
"Damascus"
One or two of the grapes break off and lie in LAWRENCE's palm.
MEDIUM SHOT. LAWRENCE hands the bunch back to the HORSEMAN
and regards them in the HORSEMAN's hands.
LAWRENCE
(in a voice perfectly
prosaic, perfectly null,
the voice of Aircraftsman
Shaw)
Take them to Sherif Ali. Tell him ...
remind him ...
He· takes a shuddering breath and looks away hoplessly. The HORSE MA:
turns his horse. LAW.RENCE's eyes fall upon the grapes in his hand, (
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LAWRENCE
Is Allenby in Damascus?
HORSEMAN
(looking at him curiously)
Near.
LAWRENCE
Tell Sherif Ali that. II-101
He cuts off his awareness of the man. Slowly and mechanically he
puts the grapes in his mouth. The expression of his haunted eyes
does not change one iota but his lips twitch in a reflex against the
bitterness of the fruit.
HORSEMAN
(laughing)
They are not ripe!
The HORSEMAN goes.
CUT
368 CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY is striding, a conquering Caesar, through
his improvised Headquarters in Damascus. CAMERA retreating before
him. At one elbow walks BRIGHTON, at the other a MAJOR. Behind
are the A. D. C. and DRYDEN. Having this very minute arrived,
ALLENBY is travel-stained and tired looking, and carries his cap.
The A.D.C. likewise. DRYDEN carries his Panama hat and stick and
looks fatigued, though immaculate. The MAJOR and BRIGHTON .having
been there some time, are cleaner and without their caps, and
BRIGHTON is also without Sam Browne or jacket. The MAJOR is a sort of Military Major-Domo, fussy and self-important, and he is
showing ALLENBY to his quarters. He runs ahead to open doors,
indicates to left and right the preparations that are being made in
the halls through which they pass. He has an exact half of ALLENBY
1 s
attention; BRIGHTON has the other. Trestle tables and chairs are carried in one after another;. papers, typewriters and files are placed
and ordered
by a host of Clerical N. C, 0. 's, while Signalmen swiftly
unwind spools of telephone cable in contrary directions. Their many
voices and the banging and slapping of their equipment, (though purposefu;
.not excited) makes a constant echoing and we can only hear that
BRIGHTON is talking urgently, a "rhubarb" speech wJ}ich we cannot
hear except the underlined words: r-----
/·
368
369
(':
C 370
371
0 Continued
BRIGHTON
Lawrence is behind it sir --- everything they
do on the advice of Lawrence~ Everything 11-102
that matters is swarming with the Arab Army -
They've got a thing they call the Arab Flag!
I don't know how they did it --- I know who
did it for them --- Lawrence!
CLOSE SHOT. The MAJOR passes the CAMERA.
ALLENBY
(to BRIGHTON)
When?.
BRIGHTON
A day and a night, sir! They've been
here a day and a night,! They've occupied
the town, sir! They've done it! He's
set up his own Headquarters --- in the
Town Hall! ·
He is almost querulous at ALLEN BY' s continuing equanimity and
divided attention. ALLENBY pauses to pick up a telephone and listen
for the "live'' tone, and then replaces it, before passing on, saying:
ALLENBY
What else besides the Town Hall?
BRIGHTON
Telephone Exchange, Post Office, Power
House.
{He indicates the electric
light beneath which they are passing)
Hospitals, Fire Stations, everything, sir!
REVERSE SHOT. The MAJOR rather grandly throws open a double
door, steps back and salutes. as the party passes through.
MEDIUM SHOT. Inside ALLENBY' s temporary private quarters.
Two rooms, the first a living room. The A.D. C. shuts the doors
on the MAJOR and on the racket outside.
BRIGHTON
They call themselves the Arab
National Council, sir! . I r--
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372 Il-106
Continued
But ALLENBY throws down his cap and walks straight through
{CAMERA FOLLOWING) to the next room, very sparsely furnished
with wash-stand and camp bed which he tests without enthusiasm.
BRIGHTON's voice pursues him, reiterating indigna.11:t and bewildered,
as though this were proof of the urgency of the situation:
BRIGHTON (on SOUND TRACK}
They're in the Town Hall!
ALLENBY comes back into the living room saying:
ALLENBY
Well they're your pigeon, Harry. What
do you think we should do the~?
BRIGHTON
Well, get 'em out of there, in quick
time, sir!
ALLENBY
How about that, Dryden?
DRYDEN
Not unless you want a full-scale rising
on your hands.
BRIGHTON
(to DRYDEN)
Well what then?
CLOSE SHOT. DRYDEN looking over the green palms and gardens of
Damascus. We hear distant crowd noises.
DRYDEN
(to ALLENBY)
When will Prince Feisal be in Damascus?
373 MEDIUM SHOT. All looking at DRYDEN.
ALLENBY
By special train in two days' time.
DRYDEN
( calculating)
Two days ...
ALLENBY
Two days is what you asked me for. I
can't keep him out any longer. Isn't it enough? . .. ··-···-···--·-----·-- ···-··-··-··---·----------------- -·------- ----
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lo 373
374 Continued
DRYDEN
(almost sadly)
Yes, ample I should think.
MEDIUM SHOT. as before.
BRIGHTON
(puzzled and indignant)
We can't just do nothing, sir~ --------·-··-·-·------------·----- ·------
II-104
This cry breaks the stillness. The A. D. C. rela~es his pose of strained
attention. DRYDEN moves from the window towards a chair. ALLENB\
sits and says to BRIGHTON, smiling:
ALLENBY
Why not? It's usually best.
(to A.D. C.)
Get us something to drink, Tracey.
A.D. C. moves towards door.
And Tracey: All troops to remain
quartered until further orders.
Yes sir.
(Pauses) A .. D.C.
Does that apply to Technical Units, sir?
ALLENBY
Technical Units particularly.
Yes, sir.
(Going)· A.D.C.
BRIGHTON
(a little horrified)
Medicals, too, sir?
ALLENBY
(harsh)
Yes, Harry, Medicals too~
CUT /----·----.
I
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0 375 -----------.
II-105
THE COUNCIL CHAMBER of the Town Hall. Pandemonium reigns.
Some two dozen of the leading SHEIKS are seated (or standing) at a
long mahogany table. At its head the principal chair --- almost a
throne --- is unoccupied. On one side of it is LAWRENCE's place,
on the other, ALi's. AUDA is by LAWRENCE. The others range
down the table and their rifles make a small arsenal down its beautifully
polished surface. Absurdly, ink stands, paper and pens have been
placed along it, but these are now pushed away and scattered. City
dignitaries, in European clothes and the Turkish fez look down from
the walls. At the foot of the table on bentwood chairs brought in for
the occasion., are one or two SYRIANS in pale suits, with stiff winged
collars. One or two of the SHEIKS look grave, one or two uneasy,
most are in a mood of total excitement and uncontrol. Round them are
ranged their individual BODYGUARDS --- say three or four to each
SHEIK --- armed to the teeth and ready to back their masters with
blows, bullets or as now merely with noise. At the moment, the
SHEIKS are in two factions, leaning across the table or towards each other on the same side, shouting fiercely. Some of LAWRENCE's own
BODYGUARD are by the door which trembles now and then under pressur·.
from without. LAWRENCE is seated staring at the table with a
premonition of defeat. AUDA, beside himself with rage, is standing
yelling into ALI's face. ALI is seated, his face grim with foreboding and the effort of self control. We cannot hear what AUDA says, except:
"Howeitat" and, repeatedly, "Harith". LAWRENCE looks up, girds himself, rises suddenly and pounds the table with the butt of his pistol)
leaving dents in the surface. He goes on, looking fiercely at the
SHEIKS, until (the graver souls pulling the others into their seats) they
are sufficiently silent and· mostly seated.
LAWRENCE
We here are neither, Harith nor Howeitat,
nor any other trib.e but Arabs of the Arab
Council, acting for Prince Feisal!
This momentarily calms all with the parcial exception of AUDA who,
glaring at ALI says! ·
AUDA
He insulted me ~
An ominous murmur from Howeitat supporters.
LAWRENCE
(patiently)
Sherif Ali said that the telephones are
in the care of the Howeitat and that the
telephones have ceased to work. And
this is true, Auda. J I
!
I ,--··
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0 375
....... Continued
AUDA
(sullenly)
They will not work because they are given
no electricity. And the electric~ty is· in
the care of the Harith!
(to ALI)
You insulted me --- Harith! II-106
This last word is said as a term of abuse. ALI starts and LAWRENCE
grips his wrist.
LAWRENCE
( to ALI, sotto but not looking
at him)
If you answer they'll be bloodshed.
ALI
(looks at LAWRENCE: sotto)
Do you speak to me of bloodshed?
LAWRENCE takes this in. He releases ALI1s hand which is removed.
ALI raises his voice:
I ask pardon of Auda !bu Tayi.
AUDA raises his eyebrows. He is astonished. Then he sneers:
AUDA
Humbly? Humbly, Harith?
ALI licks his lips, clenches his fists upon the table end, glaring at
AUDA, ·replies:
ALI
Yes .
AUDA looking at him, sees that his motive is not fear. He is suddenly
filled with unease and depression.
·AUDA
Well, this is a ~ trick ...
He throws himself back gloomily in his chair. LAWRENCE quickly
seizes the opportunity to break the train of events. He addresses
ELDER HARITH:
i
LAWRENCE
Why is there no electricity for the telephones? 0
0
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0 /·-····-·---- ---------·---·-·~----·--------·~-----·--··· ----·----·---·-···---·---
375 -----·----·----·--·--- ·---------- ·-·--
II-107
Continued
ELDER HARITH rises for a speech. A respected figure, he has the
attention particularly of the older and graver sp_irits.
ELDER HARITH
I have been to the Electrical House Aurens.
There are three large machines ...
A SYRIAN, patronisingly helpful calls up the table to LAWRENCE:
SYRIAN
He means generators.
So? ELDER HARITH
( Courteously)
(to +'AWRENC,.E)
One of them is burning.
_ (He turns to the others, smiling
pityingly)
They are of incredible size, but helpless.
WHITE HAffiED SHEIK
(sententiously)
It is so with all machines.
ANOTHER
Let them burn. What needs telephones?
A chorus of agreement, not excited this time, but deep and philosophic.
LAWRENCE rises, pounding the table again, breaks in, crying out ,
desperately:
LAWRENCE
The need is absolute:
ALI
Then we need the English engineers.
LAWRENCE
No! Take English engineers and you take
English Government~ Take --- ·
The door bursts open and a dishevelled SHEIK and SYRIAN burst in.
A mob of yelling petitioners attempts to follow and is beaten back by
the BODYGUARD who close the door. The SYRIAN screeches out
to the others at the far end of the table: 375
0
.(
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DISHEVELLED SYRIAN
Fire!
(He fights for breath)
Fire has broken out~
(He fights for breath again,
makes a graphic gesture with
both hands)
All along the waterfront! Il-108
The SYRIANS start to their feet in an overlapping clamour: "Where?"
"In what quarter?" "In what district?" exploding and falling silent
in the same instant.
DISHEVELLED SYRIAN
The Jinsibi District!
FIB.ST SYRIAN
(to LAWRENCE, reassuringly)
It is not a district that matters.
LAWRENCE
(looking at him with cool dislike)
It will spread.
SECOND SYRIAN
(between exasperation at the
stupidity of the savages and
alarm for his property)
Then in God's name, use the fire brigade!
DISHEVELLED SHEIK
We have tried, Aurens. There is no ...
(He makes desperate pushing
movements with his hands as
he seeks for the word "pressure")
no force in the water.
LAWRENCE
(almost stamping)
Then you must carry it!
DISHEVELLED SHEIK
(with dignity)
The Rualla do not carry water.
AUDA
(in the spirit of sheer mischief)
What else are they good for? It (
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i :.,-.J 375
376
377
378 379
380
...
381
382 II-109
Continued
There is an uproar again, some laughing, the Rualla and their allies
furious, and the others quick to respond. MUSIC (Arab theme
mounting) LAWRENCE rises, gesturing DISHEVELLED SHEIK to
follow him. The doors are thrown open, and under the rising rnusic
the petitioners pour in, waving papers, beseeching, bullying, indignant
or tearful. We see that they extend throughout the lobby of the Town
Hall towards the open double doorway.
CLOSE SHOT. ONE OF THE SHEIKS at the table is stuffing silver
ink stands into the fold of his garment, hurriedly, as one who prepares
to depart.
MEDIUM SHOT. On the steps of the Town Hall, LAWRENCE is
shouting into the uproar.
LAWRENCE
We will hear petitions this afternoon!
This afternoon ...
LONG SHOT. In the street or square outside the Town Hall a cart lies
on its side. And people run from every quarter towards the steps of
the Town_ Hall where we see LAWRENCE fighting forwards through the
intemperately individual mob, a hopeless enterprise.
CUT
ALLENBY'S ROOM. CLOSE SHOT. BRIGHTON stands stiff and
uneasy by one ol the windows, biting his lip looking out upon a dark
sky with a faint red glow in it from which distant shouts and now an
occasional scream are also heard. He turns to look at:
MEDIUM SHOT. The electric light is burning. Bottles, glasses,
and used plates. DRYDEN sits at his ease, reading. ALLENBY
has one eye upon an open book upon a table and, in a highly artificial
stance with one leg before the other, he holds aloft a piece of cane
with a length of string attached to it. ·
EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. It is a text book on fly fishing and a diagram
shows an Edwardian gentleman in knickerbockers going through the
motions of a cast.
CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY dutifully performs the· motions as decreed
there. He seems totally absorbed.
ALLENBY
(murmuring)
I'm going to take this up after the war ... I ··--
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\, ... .J 382 -,. . .r-------------~-----------·-·--·------
Continued
BRIGHTON
(bursting out)
Surely we should do something, sir? II-110
DRYDEN looks up at him over his spectacles, but ALLENBY ignores
it totally, murmuring:
ALLENBY
It's an old man's sport ...
DRYDEN
(with dry and admiring moc}{ery)
Are you an old man, sir?
'ALLENBY
(absently, eye on the diagram)
Mm .. ~
BRIGHTON
(hotly)
Well all I can say is, sir -- it's a
heavy responsibility~
ALLENBY directs a look of venomous resentment at him.
BRIGHTON
(awkwardly)
Sorry, sir ...
The light goes off, putting them in moonlight and showing us the moon
beyond one of the windows. We see that the torpor of DRYDEN and
ALLENBY was more apparent than real, and ALLENBY has laid down
his rod before BRIGHTON has fully registered what's happened.
ALLENBY
It may be the bulb.
DRYDEN clicks the switch of a reading lamp off and on.
DRYDEN
No, sir, it's the power. t •,
' ·Ashe is saying this we hear the jingle and thud of horsemen under the
window. They go quickly onto the balcony and look down. (
:~ I , '-------' C
0
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0
0
0 383
384 11-111
MEDIUM SHOT ANGLING DOWN. A caravan of mixed horse and
camel riders, veiled, silent, inscrutable, they lead laden animals
at their sides.
DRYDEN
(an excited whisper)
They're leaving sir.
ALLENBY
That's it then.
(he looks down intently,
curiously regretful)
Marvellous looking beggars, aren't they?
CUT
TOWN HALL INTERIOR. The room is lit by many candles, some
in lovely candelabra, some in saucers; the table is littered with coffee
cups. Both table and floor are littered with papers. The OLD
SHEIK is asleep. ALI and LA WREN CE sit where they did before.
AUDA sits opposite LAWRENCE. LAWRENCE is writing and AUDA
watches him with displeasure. Suddenly his hand descends upon the
paper.
AUDA
Leave it, Aurens ! Come with me!
LAWRENCE makes no attempt to retrieve the paper. He looks at
AUDA blankly and mildly:
LAWRENCE
Come where?
AUDA
(with a jerk of the head)
Back ... _! kriow you heart.
LAWRENCE gently extracts the paper and apparently returns his
attention to it. AUDA watches as before.
AUDA
What is it? Is it this?
' ·-" I : (
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·c 384 II-112
Continued
He contemptuously indicates the room with its littered paper.
AUDA (cont)
I tell you this is nothing.
LAWRENCE goes on writing. He is very moved. AUDA rises and
walks down the room to the door, passing ALI who is all ears but
does not move a n~rve. At the door, AUDA pauses.
AUDA·
Is it . . . the blood?
385 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. AUDA co_ntinues on SOUND TRACK,
warm, confident, comforting.
386 I tell you the desert has dried up
more blood than you could think of.
CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE, AUDA in background. LAWRENCE
shows no facial emotion. Deadpan, he raises one hand and says with
deliberate formality:
LAWRENCE
I pray I may never see the desert again.
Hear me God.
AUDA
Well will you come ...
387 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. On SOUND TRACK AODA
says:
. . . there is only the desert for you.
On SOUND TRACK we hear the door open and shut. Immediately
LAWRENCE raises his head and sees ALI looking at him down the
table. He goes back to his work for a space, then:
LAWRENCE
What about you» Ali?
388 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. ALI in background.
ALI
No» I shall stay here. And learn
politics.
LAWRENCE hesitates, stops writing? but does not look u.p. r-,---...
0
0
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~--388
389
390
391
392 Continued
LAWRENCE
That's a very low occupation.
ALI
I had not thought of it when I met you. 11-113
CLOSE SHOT. ALI rises not purposely but compelled, and finding
himself on his feet, knows he is making a farewell. He hesitates,
glancing down the table at his friend.
LONG SHOT. FROM ALI'S POINT OF VIEW. LAWRENCE is
seemingly absorbed in paper.
ALI
(half resentful, almost accusing)
You have tried very hard to give us
Damascus!
After a pause to control himseli, LAWRENCE says mildly:
LAWRENCE
It's what I came for.
REVERSE SHOT FROM HIS VIEWPOINT. ALI by the door.
LAWRENCE
And then
(ALI turns quickly)
. . • . it would be something . . . ?
It is a naked appeal.
ALI
Yes.
Much. (He tries for a smile)
LAWRENCE half-smiles back, but as they raise their hands it is as
when the ship is already too far from the shore and friends know the
parting already complete, and themselves ·already strangers.
ALI goes through the door.
MEDIUM SHOT. Down the corridor which he has entered. It is lit
only by moonlight which poµrs through the a,rch windows which
punctuate one wall. This wall ends :w~th an open archway through
which the moonlight also ppurs ., The corridor is thus in aiterhate I. •"! // \ _J
I ' le•-,
0
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0
0
.... .. ···-·-·----···-·--···~·-· ··------··--- -----·---··-------------·---·-·-·-· -----·--·--
392 II-114
Continued
bands of silver light and grey shadows. From one of these shadows
a MAN steps silently and grasps him by the arm. He instinctively
recoils but finds himself gripped.
AUDA
(After a moment!s silence:
Accusing)
He is your friend?
At this, ALI immediately sets off down the corridor, his face averted.
ALI
Take your hand away.
AUDA
(Ignoring this)
You love him.
ALI
No, I fear him.
AUDA's face is angled so that we can see it; ALi's face is in the
shadow of his headcloth save for bright lights on his eyes. AUDA
peers a little.
AUDA
Then why do you weep?
This is said certainly not as a sneer, and certainly not with womanish
sympathy, but as men speak of weeping naturally whose virility is far
beyond question. There is a moment or two of silence before ALI can
reply .
ALI
If I fear him . . . who love him ...
How must he fear himself, who hates
himself?
(Suddenly all the emotion
comes pouring through
and ALI shouts furiously)
Take your hand away ...
ALI wrenches himself free with a cat-like bound, simultaneously
drawing his dagger which (CLOSE SHOT) carves a bright arc in the
gloom.
. •. Howeitat! . --•--···-·-------- ···-----·- --··------- ------ -----·--·--·-··-·· ---·-···-··------.-- ··-·----· ·· ... ~~---· .----···· --------/
(
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0 392
393
394 .
395
396 Il-115
Continued
AUDA has made the minimum necessary movement to avoid the blow,
instinctively, and now regards ALI, unruffled and Ewen pleased. He
is leaning one hand against the wall.
AUDA
(grinning)
0-h-h-•. You're not entirely
politician.
ALI is sheathing his knife, but looks up at this and says, determinedly:
ALI
Not yet.
They have come to an open archway. CUT to the courtyard.
ALI' is crossing it diagonally towards a far corner whei:e among the
shadows is another archway.
CLOSE SHOT. AUDA, his face turned up to the moon and stars.
AUDA
Well these are new tricks ...
(Complacently)
and I am an old dog.
He stretches luxuriously and breathes in the open air.
AUDA
Allah be thanked.
He lowers his head and watches ALI, who is entering the shadows, and
calls: · ·
I tell thee what though . . . ~
REVERSE SHOT. ALI in th~ shadows turns back towards AUDA.
AUDA is calHng under the stars:
AUDA
Being an "Arab", will be thornier than
you suppose --- Harith~
DISSOLVE
EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. The indignant face of BRITISH COLONEL.
Glares straight into CAMERA. .►
----' r (·
►
',n I .•• -
:: ·,
''
0
\&, \ .
I "I
0 396
397
398 ·-· ··--·-···--· -----·--
•
Continued
COLONEL
In all my years as a Medical Officer,
I've never seen anything like it~ II-116
MEDIUM SHOT. ALLENBY confronts him. He has just risen from
bed and is wrapping on his dressing gown. We see that he expects
immediate action. It is broad morning.
ALLENBY
It comes within the jurisdiction of
the Arab Council.
COLONEL
· I'm sorry, sir. Under the circumstances
I think I must take over immediately.
ALLENBY ·
(almost automatically)
Under any circumstances at all you must
. obey your orders.
COLONEL
No, sir, l will not~
ALLENBY
(not angered by the insubordination,
irritated by the excess emotion\ Contemptuously)
Control yourself.
(Then)
Now, go over to the Town Hall and see
what they say.
CUTTP
EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE looking straight up into
CAMERA, and the CUT so timed that he appears to be speaking in
response to ALLENBY's line.
LAWRENCE
(Totally exhausted, quite
simple)
I had for gotten.
COLONEL
Had you indeed~ / r····· ----------------------------------------------------- -" -•• -• ------••••••----•••---• ••• ---••• •• ••-•-• •-•-•-•••.,-•- -----•-----•• ---- • • • -•-••-•--•---._/~ ,••----••n-
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0 398 Continued
LAWRENCE
(as one who offers
useless exculpation) II-117
We did what we could in the civic hospitals •.•
COLONEL
But you "forgot" the Turkish Military
Hospital~
LAWRENCE
Yes.
(fearfully)
Are there many?
COLONEL
It has six hundred beds. There are about
two thousand Turkish wounded in it. All
of whom are the responsibility of your
precious Arab Council] and many of whom
are your responsibility inmore ways than
that, · I understand!
LAWRENCE
( cannot look at him)
Yes.
Sad MUSIC begins, and he rises. Then, as one who fears the answer
to his question, he asks: ·
. What's it like?
CUT
399 MEDIUM LONG SHOT. MUSIC CONTINUING. The courtyard of
the Turkish Military Hospital. The beds are overflowed into the
courtyard. Here and there tarpaulin awnings have been rigged, but
one of these, over the hospital ent ranee~ has come loose at one
corner and flaps heavily and slowly with a soft insidious sound.
400 REVERSE SHOT. From under this flapping awning. We hear it
and the horrible buzzing of flies. LAWRENCE has entered the
courtyard at the far side.
401 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT: Moving with LAWRENCE among the
patients. Some are dead. They are unwashed, their bandages
are blood caked? dirty dressings and enamel containers lie strewn.
(But the CAMERA must not lingE>r on an.y one thing; we must see it
all passing; we want to establish a fact~ not assault the emotions).
··-' (
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0 II-118
402 MEDIUM SHOT. Having tracked with LAWRENCE to the awning and
the entrance, we pause with hi.m. Voices croak "Water" ... "Water"
•.. monotonously. The Turkish word is used so that we do not
understand it, until LAWRENCEP coming to, snatches up an enamel
water jug and darts into the hospital.
403 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. He searches frantically down a corridor,
also littered with patients, catching glimpses inside wards of their
contents. He comes to a dispensary and darts in. Frantically, he
turns a tap. The MUSIC rising hopefully.
404 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. THE TAP. No water is in it. MUSIC
dies away to silence.
405 CLOSE SHOT. He puts down the jug. He leans back against the
dispensary shelves. His wandering eye lights upon a broom. He
picks it up, and as he does so9 we hear cars drawing up1 doors
slamming and crisp voices shouting instructions.
406 MEDIUM LONG SHOT. THE COURTYARD. Army ambulances are
drawing up and drawn up. MEDICAL OFFICERS, NURSING SISTERS
and ORDERLIES are fanning out between the beds. Stretchers are
being unloaded. Already we can see SIX DOCTORS, a DOZEN
SISTERS and a SCORE OF ORDERLIES. They are clean, starched and
competent. It is like a vision of heaven.
407 MEDIUM LONG SHOT. ANGLING DOWN A WARD, LAWRENCE in
foregrounc:I, is studiously sweepi.ng between the bunks. A moustached
and very military M-. 0. attended by TWO ORDERLIES marches up the
long ward. He stops at LAWRENCE. He is the Captain of the Prep.
School, the Chairman of the Golf Club. His face is crimson. He is
enormous and fleshy. ·
MEDICAL OFFICER
This is . . . is • . • outrageous!
(he is enjoying it)
Outrageous: Outrageous!
(he comes up to LA WREN CE)
Outrageous:
408 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. The pale ghost of his old mockery
haunts his features once again. He begins to laugh. The MEDICAL
OFFICER stares incredulously, then deals him such a full-armed
smack across his face as flings him from his feet against the wall.
MEDICAL OFFICER
(carelessly, as he strides out)
Filthy liUle wog. C ;
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409 CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE crouched against the wall continues to
laugh. (And let there be no mistake~ but that .!!_is laughter, though
it may remind one of tears. The only thing no audience could
possibly accept from this strange man - particularly at this point -
is self pity. Which would also quite ruinously "explain" his state of
mind)
QUICK DISSOLVE'
4·10 CLOSE SHOT. FEISAL in all the panoply of an Arabian King, is
speaking1 melodiously1 persuasively, gently and humorously_.. As
he speaks, CAMERA DRAWS AWAY to reveal that he is in
ALLENBY's great room in Damascus. This is his prestige room,
not his working office; polished furniture, royal portraits, the full
treatment. ALLENBY is seated at an enormous and useless desk.
Behind and to one side of him DRYDEN is seated~ regarding his
clasped hands; behind again~ BRIGHTON stands, looking as is
ALLENBY, towards the object of FEISALrs discourse whom we cannot
yet see.
FEISAL·
My friend Lawrence, if I may call him
that -- "my friend Lawrence" -- how many
men will claim the right to use that phrase,
how proudly~ He longs for the greenness of
his native land. He pines for the Gothic
cottages of -- "Surrey" -- is it not?
(he smiles a little at ·his
own pretentious to be
familiar with all that)
Already in imagination he catches trout
and . . . all the activities of the Engli.sh
gentleman.
411 MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE looks silently back at him
without judgment, without even distaste, almost as though he had
only just met him. Now and henceforth 90% of LAWRENCE's energy
is taken in merely sustaining the burden of his own nature; leaving
only 10% for dealings with the outer world. He listens carefully and
politely to ·everything, and reacts to nothing. And this is not a posture,
but a necessary economy to which he is committed. Any suggestion of
attitudenising would be very distasteful at this point. fie is indeed con
cerned not to be any kind of nuisance. It is simply that attention and
elementary good manners are all that he can possibly manage.
. ALLENBY coughs uncomfortably in the silence,
ALLENBY
That's me you're describing~ sir~ not
Colonel Lawrence , .. i
'
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.. ·---,;,--------.-. , .... -.
• II-120
I •• .,,,--J f
I i 411 . Continued -o'--,..,
I
0
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0
0
I ,,~-)
l__j ALLENBY (Cont)
(roughly, looking up at
LAWRENCE and quickly
down again)
You're promoted Colonel.
LAWRENCE
Yes. What for?
(He asks the question with
polite interest not aggressively)
FEISAL
(quickly)
Take the honour 9 Colonel. Be a little kind.
ALLENBY
(roughly)
4s a Colonel you'll have a cabin to yourself
on the boat home.
LAWRENCE
(a flicker of real interest)
Then thank you.
There is another awkward pause. ALLENBY aligns some papers.
Then he forces himself to look at LAWRENCE~ chin out and says
ruthlessly:
ALLENBY
Well then ... "God speed".
FEISAL cuts in with quick persuasion.
FEISAL
There is nothing further for a warrior
here.
(unreal self ,-deprecation)
We drive bargains.
LAWRENCE looks at hiin, without anger 1 without condemnation,
without comment of any kind. FEISAL is touched with the desire to
comfort1 and adds more sincerely:
Old men's work. Young men make
wars --and virtues of war are the
virtues of young men --courage and
hope for the future. And then old men \
0
C
0
L 411 Continued ~--- ------------·----····----------·- ---
FEISAL (Cont)
make the peace, and the vices of peace
are the vices of old men -- mistrust
and caution.
(gently)
It must be so. II-121
LAWRENCE simply gets up. He pauses momentarily wondering what
to do with his cap, or what to say that will get him out of the room.
Quietly, the others have risen also. Tongue-tied. He goes to the
door and is awkwardly half way through it when he is arrested by:
FEISAL
(in a different voice,
low· and quick, not
looking at him)
What I owe you is beyond evaluation.
LAWRENCE completes the closing of the door.
412 CLOSE SHOT. BRIGHTON looks after him, concerned. Concerned
for the man, concerned that no more has been made of the occasion.
On SOUND TRACK we hear .. a clearing of throats and scraping of chairs
as the others reseat themselves.
FEISAL
The Power House, the Telephone Exchange, these I concede. The Pumping
Plant I must retain.
BRIGHT ON looks at him.,, horrified and indignant. They face one
another across the desk like a pair of bargaining peasants.
ALLENBY
If you retain the Pumping Plant there
will be no water, sir.
FEISAL
I shall be glad of any technical
assistance.
ALLENBY
In fairness then, you must bring down your
Flag!
FEISAL
I shall not bring down my Flag. And if
your men attempt it, my men will resist it. 0
0 412 Continued
ALLENBY
Have you any men9 sir.
FEISAL
Enough for that. It is the kind of thing
that makes a very ugly incident. I am
sure your Government does not wish to
appear at the Peace Conference in the
light of an aggressor. It is widely known
the Arab Council took power in my name.
ALLENBY
(impatiently)
They have no power 9 sir. Jt?s illusory~
FEISAL
Illusions can be very powerful. Particularly
when they take this form. II-122
He rises and lets drop a pile of newspapers on ALLEN:SY's desk.
413 EXTREME CLOSE SHOT. THE NEWSPAPERS. They are in
several languages. The top one is the "Chicago Daily Courier"
and there is a reproduction of the photograph taken by BENTLEY
after the blood-bath. . On SOUND TRACK:
414 FEISAL
(on SOUND TRACK)
The wor Id is delighted with the picture of
Damascus liberated by the Arab Army.
CLOSE SHOT. ALLENBY
ALLENBY
Led, may I remind you, by a British
serving Officer:
FEISAL
(a small smile)
Ah yes. But then Aurens is a sword with
two edges. We are equally glad to be
rid of him are we not?
ALLENBY
(between admiration
and dis gust)
I thought_! was a hard man. ( ;
I ro I .
0
0 414 Continued
FEISAL
You are merely a General. I must
be a King. II-123
He speaks with an archaic dignity which puts several centuries
between them. But CLOSE SHOT BRIGHTON. Indignantly, he rams
his hat on his head, salutes, says:
•
BRIGHTON 'S . cuse me, sir n ••
And strides from the room without waiting for permission, after
LAWRENCE. ALLENBY looks after him rather wryly-, then, his
guilt causing him to anticipate an attack, he half turns his head
towards DRYDEN and barks almost snarls, aggressively:
ALLENBY
Well?
DRYDEN in fact was examining his fingers as before, but at this, he
too fires and out of his guiltii says with bitter brightness:
DRYDEN
Well it seems we're to have a British
Water Works, With an Arab Flag on it.
(to both)
D'youthink it was worth it?
ALLENBY
Not my business. Thank God, I'm a
soldier.
DRYDEN
(murmuring)
Yes, sir: so you keep saying.
FEISAL
(to DRYDEN)
You, I suspect, are chief architect of this ...
(he chooses the word
delicately)
compromise. What do you think?
DRYDEN
Me, your Highness? On the whole~ I
wish I'd stayed i.n Tunbridge Wells.
CUT I
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II-124
415 LAWRENCE is crossing the Officer's Lounge in the Damascus
Headquarters. A few OFFICERS sit about, mostly reading papers.
LAWRENCE absently puts on his cap, and hastily takes it off again.
416 CLOSE SHOT. The red-faced MEDICAL OFFICER springs from
his chair as LAWRENCE walks past him.
· MEDICAL OFFICER
I s~y~
LAWRENCE turns and flinches when. he sees who it is. The
MEDICAL OFFICER advances on him.
MEDICAL OFFICER
It's Colonel Lawrence, isn't it?
LAWRENCE nods.
Well may I shake your hand, sir?
He does so, chuckling apologetically, without help from LAWRENCE.
Then he steps back ~t attention, and says with manly fervour:
MEDICAL OFFICER
Just want to be able to say I've done it, sir.
LAWRENCE is going, and then turns back to say, not lightly, but
with deep and serious curiosity:
LAWRENCE
Haven't we met before?
MEDICAL OFFICER
(frowning)
Don't think so, sir •..
(smiling confidently)
No, sir, I should have remembered that.
CUT.-:
417 MEDIUM SHOT ANGLING UP a flight of narrow stairs. BRIGHTON
appears quickly at the head of them and descends two at a time. He
pushes open a pair of double doors and walks rapidly through an
office. He appears through a door into a little courtyard, runs across
it and in through another door. He appears in the Officers' Lounge
walking swiftly through it in the samP. direction as that taken by
LAWRENCE. He runs through the lobby on to the steps. I ,/'';,
\-----1
\_.·
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\ ;'°"--~ ll-125
418 CLOSE SHOT. He looks eagerly up and down the drive. The
eagerness dies away from his face; he looks crestfallen, disappointed,
downright gloomy.
CUT
419 THE ROAD from Damascus in the after-glow of sunset. It is a level
-desert. CAMERA is in rear of a travelling staff car. In the front are the .DRIVER and LAWRENCE. There is no sound but the winq.
and ~he engine. An Army lorry passes us in the opposite directio.n;
then the staff car must slow down for a file of BEDOUIN on camels
going in the same direction.
420 --CLOSE SHOT. LAWRENCE. He stands and peers up hopefully
into their faces as the car crawls past.
421 MEDIUM TRACIONG SHOT. P.O. V. LAWRENCE. Their faces.
They show no :sign of recognition. We hear the car accelerating,
and accelerating, we leave them behind in our dust.
422 CLOSE TRACKING SHOT. The DRIVER and, obscured by him so
that in this last moment he is hidden, LAWRENCE.
DRIVER
Well, -sir, going home!
The car purrs onwards.
LAWRENCE
(realising that he has
been addressed)
Mm?
DRIVER
Home, sir~
LAWRENCE does not answer by word or expression. The level
desert swings endlessly past us. A second Army lorry approaches
and swings past us, full of Tommies singing a music-hall ditty of
the period. ("Goodbye Dolly, I must leave you ..• ") The sound of
their singing disappears swiftly behind us and immediately an Army
Dispatch Rider on a motor bicycle passes in the same direction.
We glimpse the RIDER and the screen is enveloped in the dust which
his machine throws upwards. · ·
THE END | screenplays |
How to specify a general quantum measurement? [closed]
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I know that a general quantum measurement is described by a set of measurement operators $\{M\_j\}$ satisfying the completeness relation $\sum\_j M\_j^\dagger M\_j = 1$ and that the outcome j occurs with probability $$p(j)=Tr(M\_j^\dagger M\_j \rho)$$ Furthermore, the post-measurement state after obtaining this outcome is $$\rho\_j = \frac{M\_j \rho M\_j^\dagger}{p(j)}$$
However, in the POVM formalism we describe the measurment using only the POVM elements $\{A\_j\}$ that correspond to the operator products $M\_J^\dagger M\_j$. Obviously, there are different sets of measurement operators that realize the same POVM.
Here's my question: Given (1) the POVM elements of a quantum measurement and (2) the post-measurement states $\{\sigma\_j\}$ for some fixed pre-measurement state $\sigma$, are there measurement operators $\{M\_j\}$ such that $$A\_j = M\_j^\dagger M\_j$$ and $$\sigma\_j = \frac{M\_j \sigma M\_j^\dagger}{Tr(A\_j \sigma )}$$
Moreover: If there is such a measurement, is it unique?
I constructed a counterexample to the uniqueness property of your first question. Take a 3-state system with
$$\rho = \begin{bmatrix}1/4 & 0 & 0 \\ 0 & 1/4 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & 1/2\end{bmatrix}$$
and our post-measurement states each with probabilities $1/2$ each.
$$\rho\_0 = \begin{bmatrix}1/2 & 0 & 0\\ 0 & 1/2 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & 0\end{bmatrix},~ \rho\_1 = \begin{bmatrix}0 & 0 & 0\\ 0 &0&0 \\ 0&0& 1\end{bmatrix}$$
and corresponding POVMs
$$M\_0^\dagger M\_0 = \begin{bmatrix}1 & 0 & 0\\ 0 & 1 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & 0\end{bmatrix},~ M\_1^\dagger M\_1 = \begin{bmatrix}0 & 0 & 0\\ 0 &0&0 \\ 0&0& 1\end{bmatrix}$$
There are at least two possible sets of values for $M\_0,M\_1$ with the same POVM and corresponding final states, namely:
$$M\_0 = \begin{bmatrix}1 & 0 & 0 \\ 0 & 1 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & 0\end{bmatrix}, M\_1 = \begin{bmatrix}0 & 0 & 0 \\ 0& 0 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & 1\end{bmatrix}$$
and
$$M\_0 = \begin{bmatrix}0 & 1 & 0 \\ 1 & 0 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & 0\end{bmatrix}, M\_1 = \begin{bmatrix}0 & 0 & 0 \\ 0& 0 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & 1\end{bmatrix}$$
| stackexchange/physics |
seawater salinity is environmental variable that imposes physiological limits for the embryonic development of marine organism and the osmotic stresses acting on species depend upon individual adapmtions .
the regulation process is controlled by specialized cells called ionocytes ( or mitochondria - rich - cells ) located in numerous organs essentially gills , kidney and/or tegument .
ion movements are mediated by different enzymes , primarily na / k - atpase located in the basolateral or apical membranes of the ionocytes .
the na / k - atpase is an ubiquitous plasma membrane pump whose enzymatic activities constitute some of the principal means through which all animal cells convert the energy embodied in atp into electrochemical gradients that can be exploited by all manner of metabolic pathways ; its structure is adapted in marine organisms . among cephalopods , the common cuttlefish sepia officinalis mate and spawn in the coastal zone .
eggs are fixed on hard substrata , in the intertidal zone , and are exposed during low tide to osmotic stress for all their embryonic development .
embryos are protected by an eggshell composed of several black enveloppes that can prevent physical damage due to desiccation and can limit osmotic problems due to variation in salinity . as the embryo grows , the eggshell becomes thinner and permeable to seawater , which allows the supply of the various ions and respiratory gas required by the embryo .
the influence of salinity stress on embryonic development and hatching success in cephalopods have been evidenced by numerous authors .
increases in salinity can produce smaller embryos with less ability to swim and predate , decreasing the individuals chances of survival .
cephalopods are less efficient in osmoregulation than fish : their tolerance to salinity variation is weak and their development is rapidly affected by an increase or a decrease of 10% around their optimal .
fish , the gills are well established as being the predominant site of osmoregulation . unlike adults , the early stages of fish show alternative sites for ion - regulation among them extra branchial integument that has a major role in the embryo and the post - hatching stages .
the integument comprises the head , the trunk and fins and the yolk sac which was shown to be a major site for osmoregulation in euryhaline teleosts by numerous ionocytes located in the epithelium . in adult cephalopods , including the cuttlefish s. officinalis , ionocytes and na / k - atpase have been reported in gills essentially but also in excretory organs suggesting a role of these organs in ion and acid - base regulation .
a recent study on two species of cephalopods ( loligo vulgaris and sepia officinalis ) has shown a role of gills and na / k - atpase in the embryo before hatching showing the importance of osmoregulation process during the development .
differences between the two species studied probably in relation to their lifestyle have been evidenced .
but in cephalopod embryos , protected from the external environment by the egg envelopes and chorion , the importance of the integument , including the outer yolk sac epithelium is poorly understood .
recently , ionic and acid - base regulation through na / h exchangers ( nhe3 ) was described for the yolk sac of cephalopod embryos . in this context , we decided to explore how these compartments and limits ( chorion and perivitelline envelope ) intervene in the ion movements , in order to compare the mechanisms involved in fish and cephalopods and between tissues within the same organism .
na / k - atpase is involved in plasma membrane polarization and regarded as an excellent marker for the ion - regulatory capacity of a given tissue .
we thus undertook an electrophysiological study of the chorion and yolk sac envelope of sepia officinalis eggs and further searched for putative role of na / k - atpases .
a first set of electrophysiological experiments was conducted on embryos surrounded by their chorion . when the electrode tip was located through the chorion in the perivitelline space ( fig .
1a , b ) , we failed to record any increase in resistance and variation in transmembrane electrical potential ( fig .
1b , c ) suggesting that sea water can diffuse freely through the chorion in accordance with the iso - osmolarity recorded for the perivitelline fluid and the sea water ( fig .
these results show that there is no direct regulation by the chorion and dark envelopes .
these are passive barriers for ionic movements . when the tip of the electrode just began to penetrate the yolk we sometime record instable voltage values around -60 mv ( data not shown ) . on the other hand we recorded an abrupt shift of voltage when the electrode penetrated into the yolk . in this configuration
, we recorded an increase in resistance and a clear negative electrical gradient across the yolk epithelia ( fig .
the outer yolk sac envelope consists of an epidermal layer , cell layers delimitating the blood sinus / blood lacunae that lines the yolk syncitium .
the inner epithelium is in direct contact with the yolk whereas the outer epithelium is in direct contact with the perivitelline fluid .
thus , the voltage we recorded probably corresponds to a complex potential difference across several epithelia ( tespd ) .
the tespd recorded were closed to -45 mv and constant for the embryos between stages 21 to 27 ( fig .
1c ) suggesting that the size reduction of the yolk implying modifications of the epithelia during the development has no consequence on the tespd .
2a ) displays tespd of the same order of magnitude than the one recorded with the chorion ( fig .
these results confirm that the chorion consists in a passive barrier for ionic movements and that the yolk epithelia are involved in ionic exchanges .
we further examine if the tespd observed vary when embryos were submitted to variable salinity conditions .
whatever the hypo- or hypersalinity tested embryos at stage 21/22 and 25 preserved a tespd around -45 mv ( fig . 2c ) .
however , the yolk polarization and the stable values of tespd upon variable salinity conditions strongly suggest the existence of mechanisms for ionic regulation . in fish ,
several studies have evidenced a role of na / k - atpase in cells of the yolk epithelium .
the na / k - atpase should be preferentially located in membranes of specialized cells called ionocytes and known to be involved in ionic regulation processes . in s. officinalis , such cells and their crucial role in osmoregulation have been evidenced .
light microscopic observations of the yolk surrounding structure show a continuous cellular layer on all the surface of the yolk without any heterogeneity in the density or size of the cells as observed with dapi staining ( fig .
the silver staining procedure of the yolk epithelium revealed brownish patch indicating large amounts of proteins on a restricted surface ( fig .
the patch is located on the ventral side of the yolk near the junction between the external yolk sac and the internal one .
4a , b ) , using antibody h300 evidences the presence of na / k - atpases .
the nak - atpase subunit monoclonal antibody ( 5 antibody available through the development studies hybridoma bank , iowa city , ia ) gave the same results ( data not shown ) .
we thus checked if na / k - atpase could be functional on the yolk epithelium of s. officinalis .
na / k - atpase activity is effectively known to be involved in tespd of most of moist glands , ducts and vessels of all animal . by using ouabain at 100 m , a well known na / k - atpase inhibitor , we recorded when the yolk is impaled , a rapid depolarization of + 16 4 mv ( n = 5 ) of the yolk ( fig .
it is to be noted that this depolarization was not recorded when the yolk was impaled in presence of the chorion ( fig .
5b , c ) , suggesting that ouabain did not reach the na / k - atpases and that the chorion is not permeable to such molecules .
these envelopes are known to play a role as a physical barrier for some molecules , with an evolution of the selectivity as the same time the membranes thickened .
these observations are also consistent with previous reports indicating that metals are bound to the chorion ensuring a protection of fish egg embryos or daphnia magna eggs .
a ) egg elements surrounding the sepia embryo during its direct development : embryo bathed in the perivitelline fluid ( pvf ) is protected by chorion and several dark envelopes .
upper arrow indicates the position of the microelectrode for measuring difference of potential ( v ) across chorion .
diagram up : recording of potential difference upon insertion of the microelectrode in the perivitelline space .
diagram down : recording of potential changes upon insertion of the microelectrode in the outer yolk sac through the chorion .
c ) mean values of potential difference for chorion alone and yolk with chorion between stages 21 and 27 .
d ) osmolarity of the perivitelline fluid ( pvf ) and sea water ( sw ) .
the data correspond to the means of at least 5 replicates and error bars correspond to standard deviations .
the arrow indicates the position of the microelectrode for measuring difference of potential ( v ) across yolk epithelium alone .
b ) mean values of difference of potential for yolk without chorion between stages 21 and 27 .
c ) mean values of difference of potential for embryos bathed from the beginning of clivage in low salinity , ls ( 26 ppm ) , normal salinity , ns ( 30 ppm ) and high salinity , hs ( 34 ppm ) .
the data correspond to the means of at least 5 replicates and error bars correspond to standard deviations .
a ) dapi staining of the yolk ; b : silver staining of the yolk perivitelline epithelium of sepia officinalis embryo .
recording of the transepithelial difference potential ( v ) of sepia embryo yolk without ( a ) or with
( b ) chorion , and variation of the potential upon addition of the nak - atpase inhibitor ouabain at 100 m .
the data correspond to the means of 5 replicates and error bars correspond to standard deviations .
this depolarization was observed for crab gills epithelia treated with ouabain and the authors suggested na / k - atpases as the main driving force for ion extrusion during salinity stress response . similarly , although the tespd reflect the functioning of a complex structure , the efficiency of ouabain from the external face of this epithelium suggests an insertion of this transporter in the external membrane of the yolk epithelium , and thus a role for na / k - atpases in the excretion of salt from yolk .
actually , the tespd decrease recorded upon ouabain addition on s. officinalis yolk was rapidly reversed even in presence of ouabain ( fig .
5a ) , indicating that other ion transporters , putatively nhe3 , actively participate to yolk tespd .
however , further studies are needed to analyze the ionic composition of s. officinalis yolk and create a model for this complex system to explain the yolk polarization and the involvement of na / k - atpase in the tespd we recorded . to our knowledge
it is the first report dealing with polarization of the yolk of cephalopods and the probable presence of na / k - atpase activity on ionocytes in yolk epithelium of s. officinalis .
the characterization of the ionocytes - like cells in relation to the types and localizations of ion channels and/or pumps in this epithelium must be a challenge .
these data will allow drawing a complete scheme of the tissues / organs and the regulation systems involved in the osmoregulation processes in sepia embryos .
all animal procedures were in compliance with the guidelines of the european union ( directive 86/609 ) and the french law ( decree 87/848 ) regulating animal experimentation .
all efforts were made to minimize animal suffering and to reduce the number of animals used .
sepia officinalis embryos used in this study were gathered from just - fertilized egg batches that were collected from the marine station of luc - sur - mer ( university of caen - france ) between april to june .
eggs at the beginning of gastrulation ( stage 10 according to lemaire s system for s. officinalis , ) were kept at 20c in oxygenated sea water ( 30ppm ) .
eggs are surrounded by a chorion and several dark envelopes , constituting an eggshell ( fig .
1a ) . from stages 22 to 27 , a few of them were opened daily by removing all the black envelopes . in this late embryonic development stage ,
the perivitelline fluid is increasing as a consequence of seawater entry and all the main structures and organs are developed .
the eggshell constitutes an interface , a physical barrier between the external surrounding water and the perivitelline fluid which creates the embryonic microenvironment .
the external black envelopes were removed in seawater to enable easier insertions of microelectrode into the perivitelline space through the chorion or into the outer yolk sac through the perivitelline envelope ( fig .
the chorion and black envelopes were rapidly removed and the pvf collected directly in a microtube .
measurements were made on 100l by peltier cooling effect using an osmometer ( roebling microosmometer ) .
yolk sacs were bathed for 15 min in a solution of 200 ng.ml of dapi / pbs , and then observed using a leica m16 2f binocular stereomicroscope . other embryos with yolk
they were then transferred to 10gl agno3 for 5min , again rinsed in distilled water and exposed to sunlight for 1015min .
the eggshell was removed in sea water and embryos were fixed for 1h in 3.7% paraformaldehyde ( pfa ) in phosphate - buffered saline ( pbs 1x ) at room temperature .
after stage determination by binoculars , the yolk sac was separated from the embryo and washed 3 times for 15 min . in pbs , and then stored at -20c in 30% glycerol .
fixed yolk sacs were washed in pbs and permeabilized overnight at room temperature in 10% dimethylsulfoxide ( dmso ) in pbs to enhance antibody penetration . to reduce non - specific binding by antibodies ,
sites were blocked by incubating the yolk sac in blocking buffer [ pbs / 0.05% saponin / 1% bovine serum albumin ( bsa ) ] overnight at 4c and rinsed in pbss [ pbs/ 0.05% saponin ] 4 times for 1 h. yolk sacs were then incubated overnight at 4c with a nak - atpase 1 antibody of human origin [ 5 ug / ml working dilution ; nka(h-300 ) , santa cruz biotechnology , santa cruz , ca ) , which specifically recognizes the subunit of the cephalopod nakatpase and then rinsed 3 times with pbss ( 1 h each ) .
a second incubation in horse biotinylated anti - rabbit igg antibody was performed overnight at 4c in blocking buffer ( dilution 1:100 ) .
after additional washes ( 3 times , 1 h in pbss ) , staining was performed using the vectastain abc kit ( vector laboratories ) and 3,3-diaminobenzedine ( dab - nickel kit , sk-4100 , vector laboratories ) ; a dark brown colored substrate of peroxydase .
after 10 min . , the coloration was stopped in pbss and embryos were fixed with 3.7% pfa in pbss .
the yolk sac was dissected in order to remove the yolk and the periviteline envelope was mounted on glass slide in 3:1 glycerol to pbs for viewing on a leica dmlb microscope , and photographed with a coolsnap color camera .
potential differences were measured with glass microelectrodes pulled on a narishige pa81 electrode puller ( clark gc 150f with a tip diameter thinnest than 1 m ) .
micropipettes were filled with 600 mm kcl ( resistance of about 80 m ) and were connected by a reversible ag / agcl half - cell to the measuring set - up consisting of an electrometer ( f223a wpi ) and a pen - recorder ( kipp and zonen bd8 ) .
sepia eggs were bathed from stage 10 in three different salinities ( low salinity , ls : 26 ppm ; normal salinity , ns : 30 ppm and high salinity , hs : 34 ppm ) .
after 27 d , embryo is free in the pvf and reached stage 21/22 in which the yolk is separated in an internal sac inside the embryo and an external sac visible outside . after 37 d they reached stage 25 at which all the organs are set up .
yolk embryos at stage 21/22 and at stage 25 were impaled using a three axis hydraulic micromanipulator narishige wr91 clamped to the binocular loupe .
experiments were performed on a vibration free table enclosed in a faraday cage , in which all the apparatus were earthed .
the na - k atpase inhibitor ouaban ( 100 m final concentration ) was added directly to the sea water .
all animal procedures were in compliance with the guidelines of the european union ( directive 86/609 ) and the french law ( decree 87/848 ) regulating animal experimentation .
all efforts were made to minimize animal suffering and to reduce the number of animals used .
sepia officinalis embryos used in this study were gathered from just - fertilized egg batches that were collected from the marine station of luc - sur - mer ( university of caen - france ) between april to june .
eggs at the beginning of gastrulation ( stage 10 according to lemaire s system for s. officinalis , ) were kept at 20c in oxygenated sea water ( 30ppm ) .
eggs are surrounded by a chorion and several dark envelopes , constituting an eggshell ( fig .
1a ) . from stages 22 to 27 , a few of them were opened daily by removing all the black envelopes . in this late embryonic development stage ,
the perivitelline fluid is increasing as a consequence of seawater entry and all the main structures and organs are developed .
the eggshell constitutes an interface , a physical barrier between the external surrounding water and the perivitelline fluid which creates the embryonic microenvironment .
the external black envelopes were removed in seawater to enable easier insertions of microelectrode into the perivitelline space through the chorion or into the outer yolk sac through the perivitelline envelope ( fig .
the osmolarities of the seawater and of perivitelline fluid samples were determined . the chorion and black envelopes were rapidly removed and the pvf collected directly in a microtube .
measurements were made on 100l by peltier cooling effect using an osmometer ( roebling microosmometer ) .
yolk sacs were bathed for 15 min in a solution of 200 ng.ml of dapi / pbs , and then observed using a leica m16 2f binocular stereomicroscope . other embryos with yolk
they were then transferred to 10gl agno3 for 5min , again rinsed in distilled water and exposed to sunlight for 1015min .
the eggshell was removed in sea water and embryos were fixed for 1h in 3.7% paraformaldehyde ( pfa ) in phosphate - buffered saline ( pbs 1x ) at room temperature .
after stage determination by binoculars , the yolk sac was separated from the embryo and washed 3 times for 15 min . in pbs , and then stored at -20c in 30% glycerol .
fixed yolk sacs were washed in pbs and permeabilized overnight at room temperature in 10% dimethylsulfoxide ( dmso ) in pbs to enhance antibody penetration . to reduce non - specific binding by antibodies ,
sites were blocked by incubating the yolk sac in blocking buffer [ pbs / 0.05% saponin / 1% bovine serum albumin ( bsa ) ] overnight at 4c and rinsed in pbss [ pbs/ 0.05% saponin ] 4 times for 1 h. yolk sacs were then incubated overnight at 4c with a nak - atpase 1 antibody of human origin [ 5 ug / ml working dilution ; nka(h-300 ) , santa cruz biotechnology , santa cruz , ca ) , which specifically recognizes the subunit of the cephalopod nakatpase and then rinsed 3 times with pbss ( 1 h each ) .
a second incubation in horse biotinylated anti - rabbit igg antibody was performed overnight at 4c in blocking buffer ( dilution 1:100 ) .
after additional washes ( 3 times , 1 h in pbss ) , staining was performed using the vectastain abc kit ( vector laboratories ) and 3,3-diaminobenzedine ( dab - nickel kit , sk-4100 , vector laboratories ) ; a dark brown colored substrate of peroxydase .
after 10 min . , the coloration was stopped in pbss and embryos were fixed with 3.7% pfa in pbss .
the yolk sac was dissected in order to remove the yolk and the periviteline envelope was mounted on glass slide in 3:1 glycerol to pbs for viewing on a leica dmlb microscope , and photographed with a coolsnap color camera .
potential differences were measured with glass microelectrodes pulled on a narishige pa81 electrode puller ( clark gc 150f with a tip diameter thinnest than 1 m ) .
micropipettes were filled with 600 mm kcl ( resistance of about 80 m ) and were connected by a reversible ag / agcl half - cell to the measuring set - up consisting of an electrometer ( f223a wpi ) and a pen - recorder ( kipp and zonen bd8 ) .
sepia eggs were bathed from stage 10 in three different salinities ( low salinity , ls : 26 ppm ; normal salinity , ns : 30 ppm and high salinity , hs : 34 ppm ) .
after 27 d , embryo is free in the pvf and reached stage 21/22 in which the yolk is separated in an internal sac inside the embryo and an external sac visible outside . after 37 d they reached stage 25 at which all the organs are set up .
yolk embryos at stage 21/22 and at stage 25 were impaled using a three axis hydraulic micromanipulator narishige wr91 clamped to the binocular loupe .
experiments were performed on a vibration free table enclosed in a faraday cage , in which all the apparatus were earthed .
the na - k atpase inhibitor ouaban ( 100 m final concentration ) was added directly to the sea water . | pubmed |
How does iceskating work?
I was willing to understand a little bit better the physics behind iceskating.
**Messy thoughts**
From [New Scientist (1964)](https://books.google.ca/books?id=hgOxOlA8DcgC&pg=PA275&dq=Static%20friction%20snow%20physics&hl=en&sa=X&redir_esc=y#v=snippet&q=%22Static%20friction%22&f=false) (probably not the most up-to-date reference $\ddot \smile$), I found a diagram showing the relationship between both the static and kinetic coefficients of friction and the temperature (x-axis is reversed) for ice.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/O128f.png)
When we ice skate, we put a big pressure on the ice. As the ice is less dense than liquid water, this pressure may eventually be high enough to turn ice into liquid water. Intuitively I would think that high pressure would yield to high temperature but I suppose that this would hold true exclusively for gazes ($PV=nRT$). In any case, I don't quite have a good intuition for why warmer (or more pressurized eventually) ice would decrease the coefficient of friction of ice.
**Questions**
* What is the intuition behind the fact the coefficient of friction of ice decreases as temperature increases?
* Does the coefficient of friction of ice decreases with higher pressure too? For the same reason as above? As a correlated-side effect of increasing temperature?
* Why do ice skates slide so well? Because it puts a high pressure on the contact surface or because it puts a high pressure on the contact surface which in turn increases the temperature?
Calderon & Mohazzabi give an excellent summation of the various theories proposed through the years to explain why ice is so slippery in their 2018 paper "Premelting, Pressure Melting, and Regelation of ice revisited" in the Journal of Applied Mathematics and Physics.
They offer both theoretical and experimental evidence that neither pressure melting nor friction melting explain the phenomenon and conclude from atomic force microscopy, among other evidence, that there is a pre-melting Quasi-Liquid surface layer with special properties that make ice skating possible.
**References**
1. Calderon, C. and Mohazzabi, P. **(2018)** Premelting, Pressure Melting, and Regelation of Ice Revisited. Journal of Applied Mathematics and Physics, 6, 2181-2191. doi: [10.4236/jamp.2018.611183.][1]
Preview/read online at : <https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328766489_Premelting_Pressure_Melting_and_Regelation_of_Ice_Revisited>
There's a very nice—and fairly accessible—discussion of your third question in Nature Magazine's News and Views Section[1]. In this article, Bonn discusses the results of a fairly recent work that appeared in Physical Review X[2]. Bonn summarizes the key points as follows:
>
> The idea that a thin film of meltwater wets the surface of ice has
> been accepted since the nineteenth century...[but]...Water is not a
> good lubricant, because its low viscosity means that it is easily
> squeezed out of gaps. The idea that a layer of water is sufficient to
> lubricate a skate on ice is therefore strange. It doesn’t even make
> intuitive sense, given that it is impossible to skate on a road or a
> kitchen floor with a layer of water on it...**[The explanation thus
> seems to be that water and ice together]... form a viscoelastic,
> liquid–solid third body in response to friction and wear.** (Emphasis
> mine)
>
>
>
**References**
1. Bonn, Daniel. The physics of ice skating. *Nature* 577, 173-174 (**2020**). link: <https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-03833-5>
2. Canale, L., Comtet, J., Niguès, A., Cohen, C., Clanet, C., Siria, A. and Bocquet, L. Nanorheology of interfacial water during ice gliding. *Physical Review X*, 9(4), p.041025 (**2019**). link: <https://journals.aps.org/prx/abstract/10.1103/PhysRevX.9.041025>
My understanding of ice skating is that it has to do with the pressure of the skate, melting the ice and you skate on the melted water. Look at the phase diagram of the water. At 1 atm, the water is solid, but at higher pressures (keeping the temp. the same) the water changes to a liquid.
[](https://i.stack.imgur.com/GBcx6.jpg)
This question has more physics into it than chemistry but the ice melting to provide a slippery surface (and guess subsequently re-freeze) makes sense. We can also try asking someone to glide over dry-ice made out of carbon-dioxide instead of regular ice and see if there is any increase or decrease in the friction .
Two possibilities -
* (a) If water contributes then the idea is that dry-ice under pressure would turn directly to gas and as such not contribute to being slippery
or
* (b) The process of solid turning to gas makes the surface even more slippery than normal - but the process would be inherently destructive since the gas will not re-solidify back into ice.
Alternatively we can try out an experiment using ice-cubes out of water and dry-ice and run it over a butter knife and apply some pressure to simulate a person skating on ice.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
Degrassi 1. Clare's Fate
**I wrote this poem in creative writing class. **
**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**
You put holes in my soul
Until it is gone
For your words that you've said
Have already won
I tremble in fear
I quiver and shake
My life's on the line
That too you will take
Greedy and selfish
You made a poor deal
My well-earned reward
Was not yours to steal
I'll scream and I'll shout
Until I turn red
My name is Clare Edwards
And now I am dead.
2. Broken but Fixable
**Chapter 2. I have more poems, But when I get 2 reviews I'll update again. **
**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi but I do own this poem**
The pain that I felt
Was like getting hit by a bus
When I realized this mess
Was really just us
The glass is broken
The frame is tattered
But this old rusty frame
Wasn't what mattered
It's the picture inside
That held memories deep
But when the old hinges snap
All the memories will seep
My soul has grown icy
My heart's dead and cold
Because all the things that you've done
You think makes you bold
I don't want to forget
How we stood hand in hand
But my broken picture of us
Still sits on my nightstand
3. Prisoner of Her Mind
**I'm weak.**
**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi but I do own this poem. **
**This takes place as Glen is abusing her. Note that him and Helen married long ago as Clare is around 10 in this poem. **
I glance up from my reading
And stare up in fear
For there was a noise
I was beginning to hear
I look under my bed
Behind the closet door
No matter how much I search,
I will find no more
I peek behind curtains
And under the sink
I'm so afraid now
I dare not even blink
The power goes out
As does my mind
How could I get myself
Into such a bind?
I glare at the ceiling
And down at the floor
Hoping this monster inside
Would just even the score
My knees give away
I fall to the ground
For it is my own chains
In which I am bound.
4. Gone But Never Forgotten
**This is a poem I wrote a long time ago, so excuse the awfulness of it. **
**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi but I do own this poem. **
**Eli wrote this. Pretend Clare died when she got cancer. **
The ones who die get lucky.
They get the escape of this mad, mad world, with the ones they love forever.
They get the adventures and love without fear of heartache.
The ones who die are gone forever, gone but never forgotten.
5. Natural Human Powers
**This one's short as well, but it has a nice meaning. It's not really Clare writing it, but I really wanted to share it. **
**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, but I do own this poem.**
We are soldiers, each and every one of us, fighting the great battle of life.
As humans we:
Fight until we are to weak,
Wander aimlessly until we are lost, then found,
Dream bigger and better dreams until they haunt us,
Love like there's no tomorrow,
Learn until we know everything,
Strive to change the world until we do,
Know the difference between trials and triumphs,
And live until we drop dead,
All to change the world...
For the better.
6. The Truth About Us
Yes we were so dysfunctional
As I see so clearly now,
You were so despicable,
Sometimes I wonder how
How you could sleep at night
Without thinking in you mind.
"How could I have been so cruel, and just left her behind?"
The old cliche they told me
When I was young, it hurt.
For your sticks and stones they broke my bones,
But it's your words that hurt the worst.
**R&R, **
**~Lexi~**
7. The School of Creativity
**Disclaimer: I own this poem, nothing else.**
The School of Creativity
Accepts everyone, you see.
It does not matter where you're from
Because to this distant land, you'll come
Where all the people know you by name,
Where you can walk the walk of fame, not shame
Where you'll never need to hide
The creativity that hides inside
From a place where all your demons lurk
To a place where people love your quirks
From a place where you were all alone
To a place where you can forever call home.
End file.
| fanfiction |
nuclear collisions at the relativistic heavy ion collider ( rhic ) have been interpreted within a hydrodynamic ( hydro ) context in terms of formation of a thermalized , flowing partonic medium with small viscosity @xcite .
but alternative analysis of spectrum and correlation data has revealed a minimum - bias jet contribution whose variation with centrality and collision energy seems to conflict with hydro expectations @xcite . in particular , a large - amplitude same - side ( ss ) 2d peak centered at the origin in angular correlations on relative pseudorapidity @xmath2 and azimuth @xmath3 , expected as a component of jet manifestations , persists even in central collisions , albeit the ss peak is elongated on @xmath2 relative to a nominally symmetric jet cone @xcite . in response
the jet interpretation of the ss 2d peak has been challenged in the literature .
one strategy was based on introduction of `` triangular flow '' to angular correlations . according to a conjecture in ref .
@xcite triangular flow should correspond to `` triangularity '' of the event - wise initial - state overlap geometry .
triangular flow would explain both the ss peak and as double peak in more - central collisions @xcite previously attributed to mach cones @xcite . in a more - recent strategy `` higher harmonic flows '' were invoked to explain all aspects of the @xmath2-elongated ss peak or `` soft ridge '' @xcite .
the various harmonic flows were attributed to fluctuations in the initial - state geometry coupled to radial expansion of the bulk medium @xcite . in an alternative scheme the elongated ss 2d peak
was explained in terms of glasma flux tubes coupled to radial flow @xcite .
the problem of cylindrical multipoles ( fourier series coefficients ) derived from 1d projection of all 2d angular correlations onto 1d azimuth was considered in ref .
that study concluded that in almost all cases claimed higher harmonic flows ( fourier series index @xmath4 ) are actually 1d fourier components of the ss 2d peak .
the ss peak can be represented accurately by a factorized 2d model function @xcite but _ not _ by a 1d fourier series due to substantial @xmath2 variation of the peak structure , and some peak properties remain consistent with jet formation . in the present study
we confront a more subtle issue : if a sextupole fourier element is added to the `` standard '' 2d fit model described in ref .
@xcite and a nonzero sextupole amplitude results , what does that imply physically ? does a nonzero sextupole amplitude _ necessarily _ imply that `` triangular flow '' plays a role in nuclear collisions ?
if added multipole model elements result in significant changes to other fit parameters are the data systematics reported in ref .
@xcite arbitrary and misleading ? with recently - reported 2d angular correlation data
we demonstrate that attempts to add extra fourier terms ( multipole elements ) to the 2d data model of ref .
@xcite are equivalent to minor alteration of the ss 2d peak model , and such modifications are not systematically significant .
substantial variations in several parameter values do arise when the number of model parameters exceeds that required by the correlation structure in the data .
however , the parameter changes are strongly correlated and are found to be equivalent to adding a narrow 1d gaussian to the ss 2d peak model . that addition does not change the _ combined _ data model significantly .
this paper is arranged as follows : in sec .
[ basic ] we introduce some basics of 2d angular correlation measurement . in secs .
[ stdfit ] and [ modelfit ] we define the standard 2d fit model for this study and provide some example fits to data . in secs .
[ 1dproj ] and [ imposing ] we consider 1d projections of data onto pseudorapidity @xmath2 and azimuth @xmath3 differences and some results of 1d fourier analysis on azimuth . in sec .
[ 2dsex ] we consider consequences of adding a sextupole to the standard 2d fit model within a limited detector @xmath2 acceptance and possible interpretations . in sec .
[ higherharm ] we determine what azimuth multipole elements are required by 2d data and what are not required and may be omitted .
[ disc ] and [ sum ] present the discussion and summary .
this study addresses the problem of modeling two - particle angular correlations and physical interpretation of the model elements .
different modeling methods may suggest different physical interpretations .
some imposed terminology presumes specific interpretations .
one can question whether there is a unique `` best '' model and whether physical interpretations must depend on analysis techniques or may be uniquely determined by data .
two - particle correlations are structures in pair - density distributions on six - dimensional momentum space @xmath5 .
2d correlations on transverse momentum @xmath6 or transverse rapidity @xmath7 $ ] ( @xmath8 is assumed for unidentified hadrons ) are complementary to 4d angular correlations in the 6d pair momentum space .
@xmath9 is preferred for visualizing correlation structure on transverse momentum .
angular correlations can be measured by integrating over the entire @xmath10 pair acceptance ( minimum - bias angular correlations ) or over subregions ( e.g. , `` trigger - associated '' dihadron correlations ) @xcite .
two - particle _ angular _ correlations are defined on 4d momentum subspace @xmath11 . within acceptance intervals where correlation structure is approximately invariant on mean azimuth or polar angle ( e.g. @xmath12 )
angular correlations can be _ projected by averaging _ onto difference variables ( e.g. @xmath13 ) without loss of information to form _ angular autocorrelations _ @xcite .
2d subspace ( @xmath14 ) is then visualized .
the pair angular acceptance on azimuth can be separated into a same - side ( ss ) region ( @xmath15 ) and an away - side ( as ) region ( @xmath16 ) .
the ss region includes _ intra_jet correlations ( hadron pairs within single jets ) , while the as region includes _ inter_jet correlations ( hadron pairs from back - to - back jet pairs ) . centrality variation of the collision geometry is represented by the glauber model @xcite .
the model parameters are the number of binary collisions @xmath17 and the number of participant - nucleon pairs @xmath18 as functions of the fractional cross section @xmath19 .
we also define a _
mean participant path length _ @xmath20 .
the impact parameter is represented by symbol @xmath21 .
correlations can be measured with _ per - particle _
statistic @xmath22 , where @xmath23 is the correlated - pair density , @xmath24 is the sibling ( same - event ) pair density , @xmath25 is the reference or mixed - event pair density , @xmath26 is the mean sibling / mixed pair - number ratio , and prefactor @xmath27 is the charged - particle 2d angular density averaged over some angular acceptance @xmath28 @xcite .
factorization @xmath29 is assumed , and symbol @xmath30 denotes a detector acceptance on @xmath31 .
the _ per - particle _ quadrupole component of 2d angular correlations resulting from a given @xmath1 analysis method is @xmath32 .
the quadrupole component can also be measured with _ per - pair _
statistic @xmath33 , including total azimuth quadrupole @xmath34 ( method \{2 } denotes the @xmath35 quadrupole cosine component of _ all _ 1d azimuth projections ) .
higher multipoles are represented by @xmath36 .
variation of per - pair correlation measures with centrality is typically dominated by a trivial @xmath37 factor , or in the case of @xmath0 a @xmath38 factor .
figure [ basicdata ] shows examples from analysis of 200 gev collisions @xcite . on the left
are most - peripheral 84 - 93% data that approximate ( p - p ) collisions . on the right
are most - central 0 - 5% data .
these are minimum - bias ( @xmath6-integral ) data : the only momentum cut is @xmath39 gev / c .
there are no `` trigger - associated '' @xmath6 cuts applied .
the basic correlation histograms have not been further processed ( no `` background '' is subtracted ) .
@xmath6-integral 2d angular correlations from 200 gev collisions .
left : 84 - 93%-central collisions ( approximately collisions ) .
right : 0 - 5%-central collisions .
, title="fig:",width=158,height=144 ] @xmath6-integral 2d angular correlations from 200 gev collisions . left : 84 - 93%-central collisions ( approximately collisions ) .
right : 0 - 5%-central collisions . ,
title="fig:",width=158,height=144 ] interpretation of the data structure in the left panel is straightforward .
there is a broader same - side ( ss ) 2d peak at the angular origin attributed to minimum - bias jets or minijets .
superposed on that is a narrower 2d peak attributed to bose - einstein correlations ( bec ) plus conversion - electron pairs .
an away - side 1d peak on azimuth ( as ridge ) is attributed to back - to - back jet pairs .
a 1d peak on @xmath40 is attributed to dissociation ( fragmentation ) of projectile nucleons .
no quadrupole @xmath41 component is evident in the peripheral data .
figure [ basicdata ] ( right panel ) includes only two of those features : the ss 2d peak and the as 1d peak .
for those most - central data the azimuth quadrupole has a negligible amplitude .
the ss peak dominates angular correlations in all cases .
whereas the ss peak in collisions is elongated 2:1 in the azimuth direction the ss peak in central collisions becomes elongated 3:1 in the pseudorapidity direction .
the @xmath2-elongated ss peak has been referred to as a `` soft ridge . ''
although there is no _ formal _ difference between the peak shapes for two limiting centralities ( both are 2d gaussians ) there is a strong preference in the heavy - ion literature to interpret the elongated ss peak in more - central collisions in terms of flows . in this analysis
we focus on centrality evolution and model descriptions of the ss 2d peak , and its manifestations in various `` higher harmonic flow '' measurements .
measured angular correlations on @xmath42 include only a few components and can be modeled accurately by simple functional forms . in this study
we distinguish between _ components _ of measured angular correlations and _ elements _ of 2d fit models .
two of the fit - model elements ( ss 2d peak , as 1d peak ) have been interpreted in terms of measured and theoretical jet systematics @xcite .
one element ( quadrupole ) has been interpreted in terms of `` elliptic flow , '' a conjectured hydro phenomenon .
conventional references to correlation structure may be confusing . in an assumed hydro context correlation structures
are categorized as either flows or nonflows . but
a jet interpretation for some structures is compelling .
jets are expected to appear in descriptions of high - energy nuclear collisions , at least in and more - peripheral collisions .
in contrast , the systematics of nominally flow - related structures appear to contradict some aspects of hydro theory @xcite .
we therefore elect to categorize correlation structure as either jet - related or nonjet .
we continue to use the same terminology for all centralities , although the jet _ interpretation _ for some structures may be questioned in more - central collisions .
jet - related structure then denotes ss 2d and as 1d peaks .
the former is modified in more - central collisions , but the question remains whether a flow description becomes appropriate there .
nonjet structure includes the bec - electron peak , the 1d gaussian on @xmath40 ( projectile dissociation ) and a quadrupole unrelated to ss 2d and as 1d peaks .
nonjet quadrupole systematics clearly demonstrate strong correlation with the initial - state geometry .
evidence in data for other nonjet multipoles is the principal subject of the present study .
attempts to isolate 2d or 1d correlation structures from a ( large ) combinatoric background have generally followed one of two methods : ( a ) zyam ( zero yield at minimum ) subtraction from 1d dihadron correlations on azimuth @xcite and ( b ) model fits to 2d histograms @xcite . method ( a ) depends on background estimation , and in particular measurements of parameter @xmath1 by nongraphical numerical methods which may include substantial jet - related bias @xcite . if the subtracted background is consequently biased the inferred jet - related structure may be underestimated and distorted @xcite .
method ( b ) requires definition of a 2d fit model function including several elements .
a range of possibilities exists , some choices being motivated by physical models or expectations for observation of certain phenomena .
we prefer a mathematical model that is not motivated by physical models or expectations but does satisfy a few general requirements for statistical models : the same model should apply to all collision centralities , not just restricted intervals .
the number of model parameters should not exceed what is _ required _ by the structure in the data ( parsimony ) .
each model element should be established as _ necessary _ :
omission of that element should result in a substantially worsened fit with equivalent residuals structure .
sufficient _ model is a sum of necessary elements that results in negligible residuals structure . a _
necessary and sufficient _ model is ideal .
all minimum - bias ( @xmath6-integral ) 2d angular correlations from collisions at @xmath43 62 and 200 gev are observed to include three main components : ( a ) a same - side ( ss ) 2d peak at the origin on @xmath42 well approximated by a 2d gaussian , ( b ) an away - side ( as ) 1d peak ( or `` ridge '' ) on azimuth well approximated by as azimuth dipole @xmath44 and uniform on @xmath40 within a few percent ( having negligible curvature ) over the angular acceptance of the star tpc ( @xmath45 , @xmath46 ) , and ( c ) nonjet ( nj ) azimuth quadrupole @xmath41 also uniform on to a few percent .
model elements ( a ) and ( b ) have been interpreted together as representing minimum - bias jets or `` minijets '' @xcite . element ( c ) has been conventionally attributed to elliptic flow , a hydrodynamic phenomenon @xcite .
however , alternative interpretations may be possible @xcite . given that data structure the `` standard '' 2d model function for more - central collisions is @xcite [ estructfit ] & = & a_0 + a_1 \{- } + & + & a_d ( _ - ) } + a_q ( 2 _ ) .
a 1d gaussian on @xmath40 modeling projectile nucleon fragmentation and a 2d exponential modeling bose - einstein correlations ( bec ) and conversion electron pairs are omitted for simplicity in discussion of more - central collisions where the former has negligible amplitude and the latter is very narrow , restricted to three histogram bins near the origin .
the model fits presented here also include a small - amplitude ( few percent ) modulation of the as dipole on @xmath40 [ e.g. , panel ( a ) of fig . [ 2ddatafits ] ] .
details are omitted here to simplify the presentation .
the modulation is described in sec .
vii c of ref .
@xcite .
the definition of quadrupole measure @xmath47 is statistically compatible with jet - related measures @xmath48 and @xmath49 ( all are per - particle measures ) , permitting quantitative comparisons between jet and nonjet quadrupole systematics ( e.g. , comparing jet - related and nonjet contributions to @xmath47 ) .
the standard fit model accurately describes most and 2d data ( with respect to centralities and @xmath6 cuts ) . in specific cases ( e.g. , ultracentral collisions and
`` trigger - associated '' high-@xmath6 cuts ) certain modifications may be required to the nominally jet - related ss and as peak models . for the present study
the adopted model - parameter definitions in eq .
( [ estructfit ] ) are compatible with those in ref . @xcite . in other , related papers ( e.g. , @xcite )
certain parameter definitions ( e.g. , @xmath47 and @xmath49 ) differ by factors 2 to be consistent with fourier series definitions .
as an example of model fits to 2d angular correlations we present data from 0 - 5% central collisions reported in ref . @xcite . similar fit quality is obtained for @xmath6-integral correlations from all collision centralities .
figure [ 2ddatafits ] illustrates typical 2d model fits to angular correlations .
the best - fit model ( a ) is compared to the fitted data ( b ) . in panel
( c ) are the fit residuals ( @xmath50 more - sensitive scale ) , generally consistent with statistical uncertainties .
the bec - electron peak has been suppressed in these data because it is confined to only three bins at the origin . in more - peripheral collisions
the bec peak must be modeled explicitly .
model fit to 0 - 5%-central 200 gev collisions : ( a ) model , ( b ) data , ( c ) fit residuals , ( d ) inferred jet structure .
, title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(a ) model fit to 0 - 5%-central 200 gev collisions : ( a ) model , ( b ) data , ( c ) fit residuals , ( d ) inferred jet structure .
, title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(b ) + model fit to 0 - 5%-central 200 gev collisions : ( a ) model , ( b ) data , ( c ) fit residuals , ( d ) inferred jet structure . ,
title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(c ) model fit to 0 - 5%-central 200 gev collisions : ( a ) model , ( b ) data , ( c ) fit residuals , ( d ) inferred jet structure .
, title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(d ) panel ( d ) estimates the true jet contribution ( ss 2d and as 1d peaks ) . for 0 - 5% collisions
the nonjet quadrupole amplitude is consistent with zero @xcite . in more - central collisions the as dipole associated with the as 1d peak
is observed to have a small modulation on @xmath40 , as discussed in sec .
vii - c of ref .
that modulation is included in the 2d fit model for this study and , with the fitted offset , has been subtracted from the data histogram in panel ( b ) to obtain panel ( d ) .
the full centrality dependence of the model elements is essential for proper physical interpretation of 2d angular correlations .
figure [ centdep ] shows the centrality dependence of the ss 2d peak amplitude ( left panel ) and as 1d dipole amplitude ( right panel ) @xcite .
the dashed curves represent glauber linear superposition ( gls ) trends expected for jet production in case collisions are linear superpositions of collisions ( i.e. , transparent ) .
the form of the dashed curves is determined by the glauber model and amplitudes are matched to the peripheral data .
variation with centrality for two model parameters . left : same - side 2d peak amplitude .
right : away - side 1d peak amplitude .
glauber linear superposition ( gls ) trends ( dashed curves ) correspond to jet production according to binary - collision scaling . a sharp transition ( st ) in these jet - related parameter trends near
@xmath51 is notable .
, title="fig:",width=158,height=153 ] variation with centrality for two model parameters . left : same - side 2d peak amplitude .
right : away - side 1d peak amplitude .
glauber linear superposition ( gls ) trends ( dashed curves ) correspond to jet production according to binary - collision scaling . a sharp transition ( st ) in these jet - related parameter trends near
@xmath51 is notable .
, title="fig:",width=158,height=153 ] these nominally `` jet - related '' structures are observed to follow the gls reference accurately from (
n - n ) up to a specific centrality @xmath52 where the amplitude trends undergo a _ sharp transition _ ( st ) .
the st centrality corresponds to approximately 50% of the total cross section .
those trends and other evidence suggest that jet production is the correct interpretation of the ss 2d and as 1d correlation structures @xcite .
it is notable that the ss 2d peak amplitude scales with energy as @xmath53 as expected for a qcd process ( factor 0.63 in this case ) whereas the as 1d amplitude is unchanging with energy , as expected for dijet production @xcite . if _ marginal _ @xmath6 cuts are applied ( @xmath6 of one particle is constrained but not the other ) the shape of the ss 2d peak remains a 2d gaussian below @xmath54 gev / c , in contrast to so - called trigger - associated @xmath6 cuts for which both particles of a pair are constrained . in the latter case a large fraction of any jet may be excluded from the correlation structure @xcite .
generally speaking , evolution of both ss 2d and as 1d peak structures with @xmath6 cuts is consistent with jet expectations @xcite .
deviations from the `` standard '' 2d fit model for extreme cases such as ultra - central ( 0 - 1% ) collisions are discussed in sec .
[ ultra ] .
given the simple structure of 2d angular correlations we focus on the properties of the ss 2d peak and its contribution to various applications of 1d fourier series .
we have established that all 2d histograms for more - central collisions ( except `` ultracentral '' 0 - 1% data ) can be expressed as the sum of an as dipole ( @xmath55 ) , nonjet quadrupole ( @xmath56 ) and ss 2d peak .
the two multipoles are _ necessary _ model elements , as we demonstrate below .
thus , because of orthogonality of fourier terms , any `` higher harmonics '' must be derived from the ss 2d peak structure .
the ss 2d peak model may be questioned , but the _ data _ peak can be uniquely isolated with negligible model dependence simply by subtracting the fitted as dipole and nj quadrupole terms . left : data from a @xmath6-integral analysis of 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions from which fitted as dipole , nonjet quadrupole and constant offset components have been subtracted , leaving the ss 2d peak .
right : projection of the 2d histogram in the left panel onto @xmath40 . the dashed curve is a gaussian with amplitude 0.20 and r.m.s .
width 2.7 .
, title="fig : " ] left : data from a @xmath6-integral analysis of 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions from which fitted as dipole , nonjet quadrupole and constant offset components have been subtracted , leaving the ss 2d peak .
right : projection of the 2d histogram in the left panel onto @xmath40 . the dashed curve is a gaussian with amplitude 0.20 and r.m.s .
width 2.7 .
, title="fig : " ] figure [ isolate ] ( left panel ) shows the result of subtracting fitted as 1d dipole and constant offset terms from the 0 - 5% central data in fig .
[ 2ddatafits ] ( the narrow bec - electron peak is truncated in the plot ) . no statistically - significant as structure remains , no evidence for `` higher harmonics '' unrelated to the ss 2d peak .
similar results are obtained for other centralities .
we conclude that the only source of fourier components with @xmath4 is the ss 2d peak . because in almost all cases the ss 2d peak is the only significant source of higher multipoles we now consider the ss peak structure .
we observe that for all cases the peak is _
factorizable_. the ss peak can be described accurately by the product @xmath57 .
azimuth factor @xmath58 is always described by a narrow gaussian .
factor @xmath59 is also well approximated in most cases by a gaussian whose width on @xmath40 increases significantly with centrality . in some cases ( trigger - associated @xmath6 cuts , higher collision energies ) @xmath59 may deviate substantially from a gaussian function . to further pursue the higher - harmonics issue
we construct projections of the ss 2d peak onto 1d @xmath40 and @xmath60 for @xmath6-integral data .
figure [ isolate ] ( right panel ) shows a full @xmath61 projection of the ss 2d peak in the left panel onto @xmath40 .
the small and narrow peak is bec plus conversion electrons .
the gaussian ( dashed ) curve passing through the data histogram is @xmath62 $ ] .
the ss peak for @xmath6-integral data is well described by a single 1d gaussian on @xmath40 .
the same is true for most _ marginal _ @xmath6-differential data .
left : fourier coefficients for a periodic array of unit - amplitude 1d gaussians on azimuth as a function of the r.m.s . width .
the hatched bands correspond to typical peak widths for same - side ( ss ) and away - side ( as ) jet - related peaks .
right : the histogram is a projection of the ss peak in fig .
[ isolate ] ( left panel ) onto azimuth .
the dash - dotted and dashed curves are the ss 1d gaussian and as dipole from the 2d model fit .
the bold dotted curves are the ss multipoles inferred from eq .
( [ fourier ] ) .
, title="fig:",width=158,height=153 ] left : fourier coefficients for a periodic array of unit - amplitude 1d gaussians on azimuth as a function of the r.m.s .
the hatched bands correspond to typical peak widths for same - side ( ss ) and away - side ( as ) jet - related peaks .
right : the histogram is a projection of the ss peak in fig .
[ isolate ] ( left panel ) onto azimuth .
the dash - dotted and dashed curves are the ss 1d gaussian and as dipole from the 2d model fit .
the bold dotted curves are the ss multipoles inferred from eq .
( [ fourier ] ) . , title="fig:",width=158,height=153 ] figure [ fourierfig ] ( left panel ) shows the fourier coefficients of a periodic array of unit - amplitude 1d gaussians as a function of its width @xcite .
the coefficients are given by [ fourier ] f_m ( _ _ ) = _ _ \{-m^2 _ _ ^2 / 2}. there are two relevant width regimes , for ss 2d and as 1d jet - related peaks , denoted by the hatched bands . in the former case
several multipoles are relevant . in the latter case , especially for @xmath6-integral data , only the @xmath55 as dipole is relevant .
if `` high-@xmath6 '' cuts are imposed the as peak azimuth width may be reduced , and a 1d gaussian then becomes the preferred as 1d peak model .
figure [ fourierfig ] ( right panel ) shows the ss 2d peak from fig .
[ isolate ] ( left panel ) projected onto @xmath60 ( bold solid histogram ) .
the fitted ss 1d gaussian ( dash - dotted curve ) and as dipole ( dashed curve ) are also shown .
the fourier components ( azimuth multipoles ) of the ss peak obtained from eq .
( [ fourier ] ) are represented by bold dotted curves with amplitudes @xmath63 , where @xmath64 is the amplitude of the ss 2d peak when projected onto 1d azimuth and letters @xmath65 denote cylindrical azimuth multipoles : dipole , quadrupole , sextupole , octupole , with pole number @xmath66 . the standard fit model of eq .
( [ estructfit ] ) provides an accurate description of 2d angular correlations , their 1d projections and any multipoles derived from 1d fourier analysis of the ss 2d peak .
this section establishes context for the main subject of this paper presented in sec .
[ 2dsex ] .
fourier series analysis applied to projections of all 2d angular correlations onto 1d azimuth has been coupled with interpretation of each sinusoid term as a flow manifestation .
but fourier series derived from 1d projections can not describe 2d angular correlations accurately , and 1d projections can be represented more efficiently with alternative peaked model functions .
several examples are considered below .
the first report of @xmath1 measurements ( azimuth quadrupole ) derived from rhic collisions is ref .
@xcite where the `` event - plane '' ( ep ) method was invoked .
we have demonstrated that such nongraphical numerical methods ( ep , two - particle cumulants ) are equivalent to fitting the sum of all angular correlations projected onto 1d @xmath60 with a single sinusoid @xmath41 @xcite .
thus , such @xmath1 results _ must _ include contributions from the jet - related ss 2d peak @xcite .
several schemes have been proposed to distinguish `` flow '' from `` nonflow '' ( i.e. , some fraction of the jet contribution ) @xcite .
but alternative @xmath1 methods typically rely on strong assumptions about the properties of statistical measures ( e.g. , @xmath68 ) that are actually contradicted by the data @xcite . and
assumptions about how `` nonflow '' ( jet structure ) is distributed on @xmath2 can also be questioned .
the consequence may be substantial jet - related bias in published @xmath1 results @xcite .
dihadron correlations on 1d azimuth with various trigger - associated @xmath6 cuts are expected to reveal jet structure in more - central collisions where event - wise jet reconstruction is difficult .
basic ( raw ) dihadron correlations include a large combinatoric background .
attempts to isolate jet - related correlation structure typically rely on subtracting an estimate of that background @xcite .
the background estimation is based on some criterion for determining a constant offset value and a quadrupole modulation amplitude derived from published @xmath1 data .
the conventional method is denoted zyam ( zero yield at minimum ) subtraction .
if @xmath1 data are biased ( e.g. , by some fraction of the ss 2d peak quadrupole component ) , and/or the zyam offset criterion is invalid ( e.g. , ss and as peaks overlap significantly ) , the background estimate may be very inaccurate , leading to underestimation and distortion of inferred jet structure @xcite .
one of the consequences of zyam subtraction is the emergence of a double peak in the resulting as correlation structure in place of the expected single broad as peak ( as dipole ) corresponding to back - to - back jet correlations @xcite . the unexpected as structure led to theoretical conjectures about formation of mach cones by interactions of energetic partons with a dense medium @xcite .
more recently it was proposed that such as structure may be a final - state manifestation of `` triangular flow '' arising from corresponding structure ( `` triangularity '' ) in the initial - state geometry , via radial expansion of a bulk medium @xcite .
the underlying assumption of such triangular flow analysis is that all correlation structure projected onto 1d azimuth represents flows described by the terms of a 1d fourier series representation .
but _ any _ distribution on periodic azimuth can be described accurately by a 1d fourier series , and there is no obligation to interpret the fourier terms as representing flows .
based on the assumption that inference of triangular flow from 1d fourier analysis of projected 2d angular correlations is a valid concept it is proposed to measure the @xmath2 dependence of triangular flow by binning the difference variable @xmath40 and representing the projected azimuth correlations in each bin by a fourier series , with the @xmath69 sextupole term emphasized @xcite .
we apply that method to a particular case ( centrality ) with direct comparison to standard 2d correlation analysis . in principle
the same argument should apply to any centrality .
left : data from a @xmath6-integral analysis of 46 - 55%-central 200 gev collisions from which fitted as dipole and nonjet quadrupole ( plus constant offset ) components have been subtracted , leaving the ss 2d peak .
the narrow peak at the origin is bose - einstein correlations ( bec ) plus conversion - electron pairs .
right : the ss azimuth sextupole component of the data in the left panel for each @xmath40 bin .
the solid curve is derived from the fitted ss 2d ( jet ) peak model .
, title="fig:",width=158,height=153 ] left : data from a @xmath6-integral analysis of 46 - 55%-central 200 gev collisions from which fitted as dipole and nonjet quadrupole ( plus constant offset ) components have been subtracted , leaving the ss 2d peak .
the narrow peak at the origin is bose - einstein correlations ( bec ) plus conversion - electron pairs .
right : the ss azimuth sextupole component of the data in the left panel for each @xmath40 bin .
the solid curve is derived from the fitted ss 2d ( jet ) peak model .
, title="fig:",width=158,height=153 ] figure [ triangdata ] ( left panel ) shows the ss 2d peak obtained from 46 - 55%-central 200 gev collisions @xcite .
the standard fit model consisting of as dipole plus nj quadrupole plus ss 2d peak provides an excellent data description . in the left panel the fitted offset , as dipole and nonjet quadrupole have been subtracted from the 2d histogram leaving the only possible source of `` higher harmonics '' with @xmath4 .
that centrality bin lies just below the `` sharp transition '' in angular correlations , in the interval where jet - related structure strictly follows the gls scaling of jet production expected for `` transparent '' collisions ( see fig .
[ centdep ] ) .
the ss peak volume is predicted by pqcd binary - collision scaling of dijet production @xcite .
thus , a jet interpretation for the ss 2d peak is well supported .
it is straightforward to convert measured ss 2d peak properties to @xmath70 .
first we separate the fitted narrow bec - electron peak from the underlying broader ss 2d jet peak with their different azimuth widths .
we convert the latter to the broader @xmath70 distribution on @xmath40 using the measured 2d peak properties and eq .
( [ fourier ] ) , especially the fixed azimuth width .
we do the same with the narrower fitted bec - electron peak ( with its much smaller azimuth width ) and recombine the two .
figure [ triangdata ] ( right panel ) shows the result .
the broader underlying peak is a fourier component of the jet - related ss 2d data peak .
the solid curve ( 1d gaussian ) is derived from the 2d model fit .
the bec - electron peak is proportionately much larger compared to the jet peak in this case .
the bec peak is narrower on azimuth , so the fourier components for greater @xmath71 are relatively larger , consistent with eq .
( [ fourier ] ) .
this exercise demonstrates that previously - measured 2d angular correlations , including jet - related structure , can predict any `` triangular flow '' result obtained as a function of @xmath40 with a non - graphical numerical method .
any such fourier terms with @xmath4 must be manifestations of the monolithic ss 2d jet peak .
the same procedure can be carried out with lower - order ( @xmath72 ) multipoles as well .
figure [ highlow ] illustrates the procedure applied to the ss 2d peak in fig .
[ triangdata ] ( left panel ) for @xmath73 ( ss dipole ) and 2 ( ss quadrupole ) .
the relative heights of jet - related and bec - electron peaks depend on the different azimuth widths according to eq .
( [ fourier ] ) .
the right panel shows the dominant ( jet - related ) source of `` nonflow '' bias in conventional @xmath1 data . the hallmark of such ss 2d peak contributions is a large curvature on @xmath40 , in contrast to the approximate uniformity on @xmath40 of the nonjet ( nj ) quadrupole within the star tpc acceptance .
left : the ss azimuth dipole component of the data from fig .
[ triangdata ] ( left panel ) for each @xmath40 bin .
right : the ss azimuth quadrupole component of the same data .
the solid curves are derived from the fitted ss 2d peak model . , title="fig:",width=158,height=153 ] left : the ss azimuth dipole component of the data from fig .
[ triangdata ] ( left panel ) for each @xmath40 bin .
right : the ss azimuth quadrupole component of the same data .
the solid curves are derived from the fitted ss 2d peak model .
, title="fig:",width=158,height=153 ] higher harmonic flows ( @xmath4 ) inferred from 1d projections onto azimuth have also been obtained from lhc data @xcite . in those studies imposed `` @xmath2 exclusion cuts '' are intended to exclude jet contributions
_ assumed _ to be restricted to an @xmath2 interval near the origin .
but the definition of jet structure in more - central collisions is a major question as yet unresolved . in such analysis
the presence of the sharp transition in ss 2d peak properties is still evident at lhc energies . in ref .
@xcite it is demonstrated that all trends associated with `` higher harmonic flows '' are predicted by jet - related angular correlations .
the same multipole trends observed at 62 and 200 gev are also evident at 2.76 tev .
the only difference is a common extrapolation factor 1.3 applied to all such trends .
we now confront the central question for this study . we have demonstrated that any `` higher harmonics '' inferred from 1d fourier analysis applied to projections of 2d angular correlations onto azimuth are at least dominated by a contribution from the ss 2d peak , and ss peak properties
are consistent with jet production in at least some cases .
we now consider addition of a separate sextupole element to the standard 2d fit model motivated by a desire for increased sensitivity to `` triangular flow . ''
if we observe a significant nonzero sextupole amplitude does that imply a nonjet sextupole component in the data that might indeed represent triangular flow ? to answer that question we compare three 2d model configurations applied to the same data histogram : ( a ) the standard 2d model , ( b ) the standard fit model plus ss sextupole element , and ( c ) the standard fit model plus ss 1d gaussian on @xmath60 .
the relevance of configuration ( c ) will become apparent below . with @xmath6-integral data
we show that if a sextupole element uniform on @xmath40 is added to the standard 2d fit model nonzero sextupole amplitudes are indeed inferred from model fits to more - central au - au data .
but other model parameters are also shifted substantially from their original values .
the _ combination _ of changes is equivalent to a single new model element .
the added sextupole element does not reveal an independent nonjet sextupole component in the data .
table [ params ] shows parameters from three 2d fits to the same data histogram from 9 - 18% central collisions .
other more - central data give similar results .
fit parameters that do not change significantly between models are not relevant to this discussion and are omitted from the table .
the parameter labels are as defined in eq .
( [ estructfit ] ) .
.model parameters for three fit models : ( a ) standard model for this analysis , ( b ) standard model plus additional sextupole term @xmath74 and ( c ) standard model plus additional ss 1d gaussian on @xmath60 with amplitude @xmath75 as part of the ss 2d peak model .
the model parameters are as defined in eq .
( [ estructfit ] ) .
uncertainties in the second column illustrate typical fit uncertainties ( statistical plus systematic ) for each parameter .
@xmath76 denotes the additional ( new ) model parameter
@xmath74 or @xmath75 in third and fourth columns respectively . [ cols="^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] table [ fourierr ] ( third column , data ) shows the _ changes _ in fitted multipole amplitudes between the standard model and that including the sextupole term .
the fourth column , with @xmath77 defined in eq .
( [ fourier ] ) , shows the calculated fourier coefficients for a unit - amplitude 1d gaussian on azimuth with width @xmath78 @xcite .
the fifth column ( @xmath79 ) shows the fourier coefficients for a ss 1d gaussian with amplitude @xmath80 . the gaussian amplitude and width
were adjusted to achieve the best match between columns 3 and 5 , achieving equivalence within small data uncertainties .
the amplitude @xmath75 of the added ss 1d gaussian on azimuth corresponds to the difference @xmath81 between ss 2d peak amplitudes in table [ params ] for the two fit models .
and the inferred 1d peak width approximates the azimuth width of the ss 2d peak in the standard fit model .
thus , the parameter changes resulting from inclusion of a sextupole element in the 2d model are equivalent to adding a constant offset @xmath75 to the @xmath59 factor of the ss 2d peak model .
table [ params ] ( fourth column ) confirms the equivalence with a 2d fit that replaces the added sextupole element by an offset in the @xmath40 factor of the ss 2d peak model [ @xmath82 .
the added constant in @xmath59 then represents a ss 1d gaussian on @xmath60 in the 2d model [ see eq .
( [ estructfit ] ) ] .
the fit results are consistent with the previous exercise : the fitted 1d gaussian amplitude is @xmath83 compared to 0.25 , and the modified 2d amplitude @xmath84 is consistent with @xmath75 ( i.e. , @xmath85 ) . note that in column 4 @xmath49 and @xmath47 _ have reverted to their values for the standard fit model _
, since the added ss 1d gaussian on azimuth is modeled explicitly by a gaussian function rather than by a truncated fourier series .
left : the curves represent the _ changes _ in three fourier amplitudes ( multipoles ) between the standard fit model and a model including an added sextupole element applied to the same 2d data histogram , as reported in table [ fourierr ] .
subscript @xmath86 represents dipole d , quadrupole q and sextupole s for @xmath87 , 2 and 3 respectively .
right : the sum of the three sinusoids in the left panel per the axis label ( solid curve ) compared to a _ periodic _ 1d gaussian ( dashed curve ) .
, width=316,height=153 ] figure [ sex1d ] illustrates the equivalence graphically .
the left panel shows the _ changes _ in three multipoles , between the standard 2d model and that with the added sextupole element .
the sinusoid amplitudes are as in table [ fourierr ] ( third column ) .
the right panel shows ( solid curve ) the sum of the three sinusoids in the left panel . the dashed curve is a ss 1d gaussian with amplitude 0.255 and width 0.73 demonstrating the accurate equivalence .
remaining small differences are consistent with the missing octupole term ( @xmath88 ) in the truncated fourier series .
the previous exercise demonstrated that the nonzero sextupole amplitude resulting from fits with 2d model ( b ) in table [ params ] is actually associated with the jet - related ss 2d peak .
we now return to the _ significance _ of 2d model - fit results . as noted in sec .
[ factorize ] the standard fit model of the ss 2d peak in eq .
( [ estructfit ] ) is effectively factorized to 1d functions on @xmath40 and @xmath60 . whatever the actual peak structure @xmath59 we do observe that the narrow 1d gaussian @xmath58 is independent of @xmath40 , and factorization accurately describes the ss 2d peak .
we can therefore simplify the model comparison in sec .
[ dircomp ] to a single 1d gaussian on @xmath40 with parameters @xmath89 vs a 1d gaussian plus constant offset with parameters @xmath90 . left : the data histogram is the 2d histogram in fig .
[ isolate ] ( left panel ) projected onto 1d @xmath40 . the dashed curve through the data histogram is a single 1d gaussian with parameters @xmath89 .
the dash - dotted curve is the sum of a 1d gaussian @xmath91 plus a constant offset @xmath75 represented by the dotted line .
the two curves can not be resolved within the @xmath2 acceptance limits .
right : the second difference of the data histogram in the left panel corresponds to its local curvature .
the calculated curvature @xmath92 of the 1d gaussian in the left panel ( dashed curve ) is the dash - dotted line in this panel .
, title="fig : " ] left : the data histogram is the 2d histogram in fig .
[ isolate ] ( left panel ) projected onto 1d @xmath40 . the dashed curve through the data histogram is a single 1d gaussian with parameters @xmath89 .
the dash - dotted curve is the sum of a 1d gaussian @xmath91 plus a constant offset @xmath75 represented by the dotted line .
the two curves can not be resolved within the @xmath2 acceptance limits .
right : the second difference of the data histogram in the left panel corresponds to its local curvature .
the calculated curvature @xmath92 of the 1d gaussian in the left panel ( dashed curve ) is the dash - dotted line in this panel .
, title="fig : " ] figure [ modell ] ( left panel ) repeats the projected 1d histogram in fig .
[ isolate ] ( right panel ) .
the projected histogram is accurately modeled by a 1d gaussian ( dashed curve ) with amplitude @xmath93 and width @xmath94 .
the 1d peak symmetric about @xmath95 can also be described in a _ model - independent _
way by a taylor series in even powers of @xmath40 .
two terms are systematically significant within the @xmath2 acceptance : a constant term ( peak amplitude ) and a quadratic term ( peak curvature at the mode ) .
the quartic term is not statistically significant . in the right panel
the gaussian curvature value @xmath96 ( dash - dotted line ) is plotted together with the bin - wise second difference of the data histogram , comparing local statistical noise to the curvature signal . the fourth difference ( quartic )
would be overwhelmed by statistical fluctuations .
the gaussian curvature is consistent with the taylor series .
the number of model parameters thus matches the data structure ( significant series coefficients ) and the data are accurately described .
if a constant offset is added to the 1d fit model the data can constrain only certain _ combinations _ of the parameters .
the constraints are @xmath97 for the common peak amplitude and @xmath98 for the common peak curvature at the mode .
the parameters @xmath90 are otherwise _ free to vary _ within those constraints .
if we choose the value @xmath99 ( dotted line in the left panel , equivalent to @xmath83 for the unprojected 2d peak model ) the data constraints determine that @xmath100 and @xmath101 . a dash - dotted curve representing the sum of the modified 1d gaussian and the constant offset is superposed in the left panel upon the dashed gaussian curve .
the curves are not distinguishable _ within the @xmath2 acceptance limits_. the same exercise could be carried out with a range of @xmath75 values _ including zero _
( the standard data model ) .
neither the offset parameter @xmath75 nor the mathematically equivalent sextupole amplitude @xmath74 is _ systematically significant _ for data within the star tpc acceptance .
changes in fitted @xmath74 , @xmath49 and @xmath47 are strongly correlated and must be combined to determine the actual changes in the 2d model . in the present case
the _ effective _ changes in the model are negligible , even though some individual parameters may vary substantially .
considering individual model parameters in isolation ( e.g. , ignoring strong covariances ) can be very misleading .
the ( jet - related ) ss 2d peak _ must _ contribute to higher multipoles inferred from 1d fourier analysis .
and we demonstrated that the ss peak can also contribute an apparent jet - related sextupole for 2d model fits that are insufficiently constrained by data .
but can it be demonstrated that there is a significant contribution to higher multipoles _ not _ associated with the ss 2d peak ?
in other words , are _ nonjet _ higher multipoles _ necessary _ to describe measured 2d angular correlations ?
we must establish what nonjet multipole elements are necessary to describe 2d angular correlation data , and what elements are not required by the data or are excluded .
model fit to @xmath6-integral data from 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions demonstrating the necessity of a nonjet quadrupole model element .
( a ) fitted model without quadrupole element , ( b ) data ( c ) fit residuals without nonjet quadrupole element , ( d ) residuals with standard model fit . , title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(a ) model fit to @xmath6-integral data from 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions demonstrating the necessity of a nonjet quadrupole model element . ( a ) fitted model without quadrupole element ,
( b ) data ( c ) fit residuals without nonjet quadrupole element , ( d ) residuals with standard model fit . , title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(b ) + model fit to @xmath6-integral data from 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions demonstrating the necessity of a nonjet quadrupole model element . ( a ) fitted model without quadrupole element ,
( b ) data ( c ) fit residuals without nonjet quadrupole element , ( d ) residuals with standard model fit . , title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(c ) model fit to @xmath6-integral data from 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions demonstrating the necessity of a nonjet quadrupole model element .
( a ) fitted model without quadrupole element , ( b ) data ( c ) fit residuals without nonjet quadrupole element , ( d ) residuals with standard model fit . , title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(d ) figure [ quadnecc ] provides a demonstration that the nonjet _ quadrupole _ is a necessary element of the standard 2d fit model .
the @xmath6-integral data are from 9 - 18%-central collisions .
the standard fit model provides an excellent description of those data , and a nonjet quadrupole amplitude @xmath102 is inferred for that centrality @xcite .
the fit residuals for the standard fit model shown in panel ( d ) are consistent with statistical uncertainties .
the other panels reveal the consequences of omitting the nonjet quadrupole element from the fit model .
the best - fit model in panel ( a ) does not include a nonjet quadrupole element .
the corresponding fit residuals in panel ( c ) reveal at least 80% of the correct @xmath47 amplitude near @xmath103 . to minimize @xmath104 with the improper model
the fitting routine has compensated by overestimating the ss 2d peak amplitude by about 30% ( 0.76 @xmath105 1.0 ) , leading to the ss minimum in the residuals at @xmath106 .
the fit residuals in panel ( c ) demonstrate that the nonjet quadrupole , a quadrupole component independent of the ss 2d peak , is a necessary model element .
figure [ triangnecc ] explores the same question for higher multipoles : can we establish the necessity of a nonjet sextupole from data analysis .
we determine the sensitivity of the fitting process to a nonjet sextupole by deliberately adding such a term to the 2d data and refitting with the standard 2d model having no nonjet sextupole element .
model fit to @xmath6-integral data from 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions to which a _ nonjet _ sextupole component has been added .
( a ) standard fit model , ( b ) data with sextupole component added ( c ) fit residuals , ( d ) corresponding inferred ss 2d peak .
, title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(a ) model fit to @xmath6-integral data from 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions to which a _ nonjet _ sextupole component has been added .
( a ) standard fit model , ( b ) data with sextupole component added ( c ) fit residuals , ( d ) corresponding inferred ss 2d peak . , title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(b ) + model fit to @xmath6-integral data from 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions to which a _ nonjet _ sextupole component has been added . ( a ) standard fit model , ( b ) data with sextupole component added ( c ) fit residuals , ( d ) corresponding inferred ss 2d peak . ,
title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(c ) model fit to @xmath6-integral data from 9 - 18%-central 200 gev collisions to which a _ nonjet _ sextupole component has been added .
( a ) standard fit model , ( b ) data with sextupole component added ( c ) fit residuals , ( d ) corresponding inferred ss 2d peak .
, title="fig:",width=158 ] ( -100,80)(d ) in fig .
[ triangnecc ] a sextupole component has been added to the input data with @xmath107 .
the reason for that value is explained below .
panel ( a ) shows the standard model fit , panel ( b ) shows the modified input data , and panel ( c ) shows the resulting fit residuals , with four - times increased sensitivity .
the standard - model elements do minimize @xmath104 by reducing the apparent sextupole component well below what was inserted .
the compensation process is essentially a reversal of the process described in sec .
[ equiv ] .
changes in the as dipole ( increase ) and quadrupole ( decrease ) interact with a change in the ss 2d gaussian ( increase ) .
since @xmath49 represents an as dipole the changes in both dipole and quadrupole are subtracted from the ss peak amplitude increase , leaving a negative ss sextupole component to compensate some fraction of that added to the data .
the input value @xmath107 chosen for the figure corresponds to reducing the usual @xmath108 value to zero .
if a larger sextupole amplitude were introduced the fitted quadrupole value would be driven negative to compensate . if the quadrupole amplitude is constrained to be positive definite a larger input @xmath109 value would result in significant sextupole structure in the residuals .
panel ( d ) shows the ss 2d peak inferred by subtracting fitted as dipole and nj quadrupole ( zero amplitude ) model elements from the modified data histogram . instead of @xmath110
inferred from the unmodified data the ss amplitude is now 1.73 , and the r.m.s .
@xmath2 width is 4.3 rather than 2.7 .
addition of a small sextupole component to the data causes large changes in inferred ss 2d peak structure equivalent to adding a narrow 1d gaussian with amplitude approximately 1 .
we conclude that attempts to isolate _
nonjet _ higher harmonics , multipoles not associated with the ss 2d peak , can not succeed .
conjectured triangular flow and other flow - related multipoles offer the possibility to reinterpret the ss 2d peak in angular correlations as a flow phenomenon rather than a jet manifestation , seeming to buttress claims for formation of a flowing , dense partonic medium with small viscosity in high - energy collisions . in this study
we have identified several problems with recent higher - harmonic - flow claims .
we confronted supporting arguments for higher harmonic flows with observed properties of 2d angular correlation data as reported in ref .
@xcite .
proper description and interpretation of 2d angular correlations relies on maintaining distinctions among separate correlation components and model elements . in sec .
[ terminology ] we defined `` nonjet '' and `` jet - related '' structures in 2d angular correlations . the terminology is based on data systematics for and more - peripheral collisions where a jet interpretation for those structures is most likely @xcite .
we then maintain that language consistently over the full centrality range of collisions .
alternative interpretations of some parts of `` jet - related '' structure are possible in more - central collisions .
in describing multipole elements @xmath0 we distinguish between ( a ) @xmath0 obtained from 1d fourier fits applied to all angular correlations projected onto 1d @xmath60 and ( b ) @xmath0 obtained from fits to angular correlation data with a 2d model that may include one or more multipole elements @xmath111 .
multipoles from case ( a ) must mix jet - related and nonjet structure as discussed in sec . [ imposing ] .
multipoles from case ( b ) may represent jet - related or nonjet contributions and are the principal subjects of this study . the possibility to interpret
most angular correlation structure in terms of flows has motivated introduction of multiple sinusoids to correlation data modeling .
the prototypic example was `` elliptic flow '' analysis based on the `` event - plane '' @xmath112 and two - particle cumulant @xmath113 methods @xcite .
both are equivalent to fitting all angular correlations projected onto 1d @xmath60 with a single @xmath41 function @xcite .
sinusoid analysis was then extended to include `` triangular flow '' @xmath114 by adding a @xmath115 term to 1d model fits @xcite .
generalization to a multi - term truncated fourier series has recently emerged @xcite . in sec . [ imposing ]
we emphasized multipoles inferred by projecting all angular correlations , including the ss 2d peak , onto 1d azimuth and some consequences of isolating individual ss peak fourier components .
of course any 1d distribution on periodic azimuth can be represented accurately by a discrete fourier series the representation is in some sense trivial . but
a 1d fourier series can not describe the strong dependence of 2d angular correlations , can not describe correlations in and more - peripheral collisions that most likely correspond to jet production . and a single 1d series can not discriminate among several data components that may arise from distinct correlation mechanisms . that some data may be described in terms of sinusoids ( whatever the fit quality )
does not imply that a flow interpretation is justified .
the nonjet quadrupole is strongly correlated with initial - state geometry , but its systematics appear to contradict a hydrodynamic interpretation @xcite .
the terms of a 1d fourier series are orthogonal .
but orthogonality of fourier series terms does not imply that a 1d fourier series is a preferable data model for 2d angular correlations .
there are potentially three sources for any sinusoid in a 1d fourier series : ( a ) the ss 2d peak , ( b ) the as 1d peak , ( c ) nonjet sinusoids not associated with ( a ) or ( b ) . the ss 2d peak can be reduced to several azimuth multipoles , but with possibly _
large curvatures _ on @xmath40 @xcite .
multiple orthogonal fourier terms can be strongly correlated by coupling to a single resolved correlation component . and
a single fourier term may be coupled to multiple correlation components and their causative mechanisms ( e.g. , `` flow '' and `` nonflow '' ) .
the relation of fourier series to ss and as periodic peak arrays is described in sec .
iv a of ref .
each peak has its own fourier series .
if the two series are combined each term must represent at least two contributions .
for instance , the dipole term of a single 1d fourier series representing all projected 2d angular correlations @xmath116 is the _ difference between two large numbers _ , the dipole component of the ss 2d peak ( positive ) and the as dipole ( negative ) representing jet structure in at least some collisions @xcite .
the small difference has been attributed to `` rapidity - even directed flow '' and `` global momentum conservation '' @xcite .
jet structure is thereby obscured .
the net quadrupole term represented by @xmath117 includes the substantial quadrupole component of the ss 2d peak as well as the nonjet component .
the sextupole term is derived from the ss 2d peak as @xmath118 .
in contrast , the standard fit model described in sec . [ stdfit ] accommodates all correlation structure on and @xmath60 .
each model element represents a single observed correlation component , facilitating unique interpretations .
the main problem addressed by this study is the systematic significance of sextupole and higher multipole amplitudes that may be inferred by adding @xmath119 terms with @xmath4 to the standard 2d angular correlation model .
if one or more higher multipole elements are added to the standard 2d model are resulting nonzero amplitudes physically meaningful ? in this study
we have isolated two major issues : ( a ) additional model elements may exceed what is _ required _ by correlation structure measured within some detector @xmath2 acceptance leading to large systematic uncertainties in certain model parameters , and ( b ) some _ fractions _ of several model multipoles may combine to form a peaked structure on azimuth that plays an unanticipated role in the 2d data model . in sec .
[ 2dsex ] we demonstrated that the ss 2d peak for data obtained from more - central collisions within a limited @xmath2 acceptance may only constrain two model parameters on @xmath40 .
addition of a sextupole amplitude to the standard fit model is equivalent to addition of a third parameter ( an offset ) to the ss peak model .
the extraneous model parameter effectively _ amplifies _ relatively small and systematically insignificant variations in the data to appear as relatively large _ but still systematically insignificant _ variations in the extraneous parameter , but also in other parameters now coupled to it .
although individual model parameters may then seem unstable the _ overall model _ is not changed significantly .
the problem is resolved by removing the extraneous parameter(s ) per the principle of parsimony or ockham s razor . in sec .
[ nononjet ] we demonstrated that whereas the nonjet quadrupole is a necessary and unique element of the standard fit model independent of the ss 2d peak a nonjet sextupole is not a necessary element . a nj sextupole component can not be isolated ( with systematic significance ) from the ss 2d peak structure .
what is uniquely defined is the ss 2d peak relative to fitted as dipole and nj quadrupole within the standard fit model . the structure of the ss peak is factorizable , and each factor can be represented by a functional form .
that unique structure can then be compared to theoretical predictions in whole or in parts according to explicit hypothesis .
for almost all 2d angular correlations from rhic collisions the data histograms within some limited @xmath2 acceptance can be described by the `` standard fit model '' consisting of an away - side 1d dipole , a nonjet quadrupole and a same - side 2d peak .
we have shown that any `` higher harmonics '' must then originate with the ss 2d peak .
but for a small fraction of the data , associated with what may be called `` extreme conditions , '' angular correlation structure may deviate substantially from the standard fit model .
such conditions include high-@xmath6 `` trigger - associated '' cuts , cuts favoring large collision multiplicities , acceptance cuts emphasizing large @xmath2 values and `` ultra - central '' collisions ( 0 - 1% central ) . for and more - peripheral collisions the entire ss 2d peak is resolved within the star tpc angular acceptance and the correlation model is fully constrained .
the ss 2d peak model is unambiguous : a 2d gaussian .
the ss peak continues to be well resolved until well above the sharp transition in peak properties at @xmath120 @xcite .
however , in more - central collisions the elongated ss 2d peak extends sufficiently far outside the tpc @xmath2 acceptance that its modeling on @xmath40 becomes ambiguous .
when only a fraction of the ss peak is observed some peak properties ( e.g. , amplitude and curvature at the mode ) are more reliably determined than others ( e.g. , higher moments , tail structure ) .
if a greater fraction of the ss 2d peak becomes accessible within a larger detector acceptance more peak properties can be determined , including possible non - gaussian tails at larger @xmath40 .
substantial deviations of same - side and away - side peak structure from the standard fit model are observed at the rhic and lhc for certain combinations of the extreme conditions listed above .
the ss 2d peak acquires long tails on @xmath40 , and the as 1d peak develops a substantial deformation .
all such deviations can be described in terms of changes in the ss 2d or as 1d peak model functions . in the former case
the change appears restricted to the 1d @xmath59 factor , and modified gaussian or non - gaussian peaked functions are available ( e.g. , sec .
iv - c of ref .
@xcite ) .
but a trend has emerged to decompose the ss 2d peak into `` jet - like '' ( small @xmath40 ) and `` ridge - like '' ( large @xmath40 ) components and to model the latter with a 1d fourier series _ in common with all other correlation structure _
( i.e. , nonjet quadrupole and as 1d peak ) .
single fourier terms may actually represent multiple physical mechanisms , including jet formation .
however , the convention is adopted to interpret each term as a harmonic flow , including the @xmath55 dipole . in that system the connection with established jet structure in peripheral collisions is broken , and there can be no consistent description of centrality evolution .
consistency could be restored by acknowledging that whatever the imposed conditions , modeling the ss 2d and as 1d peaks separately is essential .
a single 1d fourier series representing two peaked structures plus other nonjet components is not interpretable .
the information contained in 2d angular correlation data from nuclear collisions , both @xmath6-integral and @xmath6-differential , is extensive and could be used to eliminate invalid theoretical models and suggest valid physical interpretations .
however , some analysis methods minimize and distort that information by ( a ) projection onto subspaces and ( b ) many - to - one and one - to - many mappings between correlation components and model elements .
recently , a major initiative has emerged to infer `` higher harmonic flows '' ( azimuth multipoles ) from correlation data .
fourier analysis of angular correlations projected onto 1d azimuth from limited pseudorapidity intervals is used to infer such multipoles .
however , 1d fourier analysis conflicts with 2d model fits to unprojected angular correlations in which apparent jet - like structure appears to dominate correlations . to help resolve the impasse we have conducted a detailed study of 2d angular correlation analysis methods and interpretations relating to the question of `` higher harmonic flows . ''
a 1d fourier analysis of 2d angular correlations projected onto azimuth must describe the periodic data accurately by definition .
but there is nothing to compel interpretation of the series terms as flows .
the unprojected 2d structure can be decomposed precisely into several components that retain their identity from collisions to central collisions .
one of those components , the same - side 2d peak , is strongly structured on pseudorapidity .
a single 1d fourier series can not model that component and therefore _ fails as a data model_. more - detailed examination establishes that multiple correlation components contribute to some individual fourier terms ( many - to - one ) and some correlation components contribute to multiple fourier terms ( one - to - many ) leading to severe interpretation difficulties .
further analysis establishes that `` higher harmonics '' inferred from 1d fourier analysis are at least dominated by the ss 2d ( jet - related ) peak .
a potential remedy for such ambiguities might be achieved by adding higher multipole terms to the `` standard fit model '' of angular correlations that successfully describes and more - peripheral correlations .
however , we demonstrate in this study that additional multipole elements can conspire to contribute to the jet - related ss 2d peak model rather than representing sought - after _ nonjet _ multipoles that might be interpreted as flows . for more - central data adding @xmath4 terms to the standard data model leads to _ systematically insignificant _ changes in the ss 2d peak model .
although some model parameters may change substantially the overall data model ( sum of the elements ) is quite stable and provides a unique 2d data description .
the last part of the study was determination of the _ necessity _ for nonjet higher multipoles in the data description .
a known sextupole contribution was added to a data histogram and fitted with the standard 2d data model .
the result was a change in the inferred ss 2d peak structure but no appearance of the sextupole component in the fit residuals .
in contrast , omission of the nonjet quadrupole element from the fit model produced an equivalent component in the fit residuals .
the nonjet quadrupole is thus a necessary and distinct model element .
but we conclude that it is impossible to isolate higher nonjet multipoles from the ss 2d peak structure .
it has been argued that at least in more - central collisions some part or all of the ss 2d peak is a flow phenomenon .
its fourier components might then be interpreted legitimately as flow manifestations . however
, a general model - independent analysis program should confront the _
intact _ structure of the ss 2d peak to determine the correct @xmath59 functional form vs systematic conditions .
theory tests must accommodate the ss 2d peak in its entirety , with all its related phenomenology , or fail .
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consider a droplet sitting on a substrate and surrounded by its saturated vapor . in the partial wetting regime ,
the droplet s surface meets the substrate at a finite contact angle .
macroscopically , this contact angle is a material constant of the fluid - wall pair .
microscopically , intermolecular forces dictate the exact structure of the fluid in the vicinity of the point where the liquid , the vapor phase and the substrate meet .
we study this microscopic structure using elements from the statistical mechanics of fluids and compare our results with two approaches using coarse - grained mean - field hamiltonian theory .
understanding the exact structure at a contact line with a finite contact angle is of increasing interest for a wide spectrum of technological applications but also from a fundamental point of view .
recent advances in technology allow the design of devices of increasingly small size , highlighting the importance of developing a fundamental understanding of phenomena at small scales for the manipulation and control of fluids in micro-/nanofluidic devices.@xcite small - scale phenomena in wetting are also important in biology , e.g. the rupture of liquid films in the airways of lungs,@xcite or the rupture of the tearfilm on the eyeball.@xcite finally , a well - founded understanding of equilibrium behavior is a prerequisite for the accurate modeling of the dynamic contact line behavior .
the study of the microscopic structure at the contact line is limited by its high computational cost.@xcite two ways of computing the density structure for equilibrium systems are monte - carlo ( mc ) @xcite and molecular dynamics ( md ) computations.@xcite mc and md solve for the positions of individual particles , such that the number of particles necessarily limits the system size to nanoscales , and despite dramatic improvements in computational power , mc / md computations are still only applicable for small fluid volumes . as an alternative to particle - based computations , classical density functional theory ( dft ) allows to solve directly for the density distribution of inhomogeneous systems @xcite and retains the microscopic details of macroscopic systems but at a cost much lower to that in mc / md . in the past
, dft has been predominantly applied to one - dimensional ( 1d ) scenarios @xcite but has recently been used in two - dimensional ( 2d ) scenarios such as nanodrops , @xcite critical point wedge filling , @xcite capillary prewetting , @xcite and three - dimensional nucleation processes .
@xcite intermolecular interactions between polar and non - polar particles , as well as hydrogen bonds and other interactions , are short - ranged and decay exponentially.@xcite physically , however , the much more common occurrence are fluids with apolar , uncharged particles with long - range van der waals type interactions @xcite which appear to be the ` only general aspect of the physics of wetting that is not well - understood ' .
@xcite fluids with long - range interactions exhibit a different wetting behavior to fluids with short - ranged interactions .
@xcite in addition , the latter are numerically more accessible as they allow for a finite cutoff length for the inter - particle interactions .
wetting of fluids with long - range dispersion forces has been studied by means of a sharp - kink approximation for the density profile.@xcite other studies have relaxed the density profile by using a local density approximation for the hard - sphere inter - particle potential.@xcite however , at present the most successful and accurate dft for hard - sphere systems with attractive interactions is that of fundamental measure theory ( fmt).@xcite dft - fmt with dispersion forces has been successfully applied in studies of critical point wedge filling @xcite and density computations in the vicinity of liquid wedges .
@xcite here we construct an equilibrium three - phase contact line of a fluid with dispersion interactions in the immediate vicinity of a wall using an accurate fmt model for the hard - sphere interactions .
this allows us to solve for the density profile of the fluid in the contact line region and to shed light on the fluid structure there down to the nanoscale : in particular , we observe the fluid structure there down to the nanoscale : in particular , we observe the presence of a step - like structure for the higher fluid densities very close to the contact line .
the dft - fmt approach also allows us to test mean - field effective hamiltonian approaches which reduce the dimension of the system by one , describing the interface by a simple height profile . in general , the hamiltonian of such systems is written as a sum of the contribution due to the liquid - vapor interface and an effective interface potential.@xcite the interface potential goes back to the concept of disjoining pressure introduced by derjaguin @xcite and frumkin @xcite ( but we note that derjaguin s work was published earlier @xcite ) .
the disjoining pressure is defined as the excess pressure acting on a substrate due to the presence of a thin liquid film , and it was directly linked with the adsorption isotherm , the plot of the film thickness against the chemical potential of the system .
later , dzyaloshinskii , lifshitz and pitaevskii ( dlp ) directly computed the disjoining pressure from the dispersion interactions.@xcite this connection between the definitions of disjoining pressure , as well as its applicability to nonplanar systems in the framework of an effective hamiltonian theory , was recently analyzed in a number of discussion papers that appeared in _ eur . phys .
j. : spec .
_ , special issue ` wetting and spreading science - quo vadis?'.@xcite in particular , the transferability and/or universality , of results using disjoining pressure in an effective hamiltonian approach , as well as the validity of the different definitions of the disjoining pressure were questioned in these papers . in this work
, we make progress towards addressing these questions by employing a dft - fmt framework for a system with long - range wall - fluid and fluid - fluid interactions . in particular , we study and directly compare two routes to the disjoining pressure .
first , we compute the adsorption isotherm employing dft in a planar configuration . using an effective hamiltonian approach
, this allows us to define a specific height profile across the contact line .
secondly , we compute the full density distribution of a three - phase contact line . this exact result can be used to define a disjoining pressure based on the normal force balance,@xcite in the spirit of a parameter - passing technique .
the disjoining pressure containing this information from the 2d density profile is in turn inserted into a hamiltonian approach to compute a simple height profile . in sec .
ii , we give an overview of the dft model we employ to solve for the exact density profile in the vicinity of an equilibrium contact line . in sec .
iii , we give details of the numerical scheme we developed to solve the dft equations . a brief introduction to hamiltonian approaches together with the two definitions of the disjoining pressure considered in this study
is given in sec .
iv . in sec .
v we compare the dft results with the hamiltonian approaches . finally , we summarize our results and provide an outlook to future work in sec . vi .
we employ classical dft to study the density distribution in the vicinity of a static contact line .
classical dft has been of paramount importance for the study of inhomogeneous fluids .
it is based on mermin s theorem , @xcite which allows the helmholtz free energy @xmath3 to be written as a unique functional of the number density profile @xmath4.@xcite it can be shown rigorously that the equilibrium density distribution minimizes the grand potential @xcite @xmath5 = { \mathcal{f}}[{n } ] + \int { n}({{\bf r } } ) { \left\ { { v_{\text{ext}}}({\bf r } ) - { { \mu}}\right\ } } { \text{d}}{{\bf r } } , } \label{eq : grandpotential}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath6 is the chemical potential and @xmath7 is the external potential .
we minimize eq .
( [ eq : grandpotential ] ) by solving the euler - lagrange equation @xmath8}{\delta { n}({{{\bf r } } } ) } = 0.\label{eq : eulerlagrangeequation}\end{aligned}\ ] ] for a simple fluid of particles interacting with a lennard - jones ( lj ) potential , the free energy is usually split into a repulsive hard - sphere part and an attractive contribution @xmath9 = { \mathcal{f}_{\text{hs}}}[{n } ] + { \mathcal{f}_{\text{attr}}}[{n}].\end{aligned}\ ] ] we model the hard - sphere contribution with a rosenfeld fmt approach,@xcite which accurately models both structure and thermodynamics of hard - sphere fluids.@xcite the attractive interactions are modeled with a mean - field barker - henderson approach @xcite @xmath10 & = \frac{1}{2 } \iint \phi_{\text{attr}}({|{{\bf r}}- { { \bf r}}'| } ) { n}({{\bf r}}){n}({{\bf r } } ' ) { \text{d}}{{\bf r } } ' { \text{d}}{{\bf r } } , \label{eq : feattr}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where the attractive interaction potential is given by @xmath11 here , @xmath12 is the distance from the center of the particle at which the lj potential is zero and @xmath13 is the depth of the lj potential .
the simple fluid described by the given model has a critical point at @xmath14 , where @xmath15 is the boltzmann constant and all computations in this work were performed at @xmath16 , at which the liquid and vapor number densities are well - separated ( @xmath17 , @xmath18 ) and at which the surface tension becomes @xmath19 .
all 2d computations are performed at the saturation chemical potential , at which the bulk vapor and bulk liquid are equally stable . a phase diagram of the model used in this work is depicted in fig .
[ fig : bulkphasediagram ] , and compared with experimental and simulation results for argon .
@xcite we note that the discrepancy between the data stems from the fact that argon is not well modeled with a barker - henderson interaction potential . for a dft model which reproduces more accurately the bulk properties of argon , see e.g. peng and yu .
@xcite ; the triangles denote the vapor and liquid densities for the temperature of @xmath16 at which all computations in this work are done .
the black squares denote experimental results for argon ( @xmath20 and @xmath21 ) by michels , levelt , and de graaff . @xcite the black diamonds represent canonical md simulations by trokhymchuk and alejandre .
@xcite , width=302 ] the external potential is derived from the interaction of the wall - fluid particles , modeled analogously to the fluid - fluid interaction as @xmath22 where @xmath23 is the depth of the wall - fluid interactions .
consider a cartesian coordinate system with the @xmath24-@xmath25 plane parallel to the wall and the @xmath26-coordinate direction normal to the wall .
the external potential is then obtained from the integration of the interactions over the uniform density distribution of wall particles @xmath27 for @xmath28 , giving @xmath29 } & y > 0 \end{array } \right . ,
\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath30 is the strength of the wall potential .
the gridlines represent isolines of the computational variables @xmath31 and @xmath32 , which are mapped to the physical space @xmath33 as given in eqs .
( [ eq : mappingcomptoxprime ] ) and ( [ eq : mappingxprimetox ] ) . here
we plot every second isoline for a grid with @xmath34 and @xmath35 chebychev collocation points in the @xmath31 and @xmath32 direction , respectively , and with parameters @xmath36 , @xmath37 and angle @xmath38 .
the black solid line represents one isoline of a density profile for a contact line computation.,width=302 ] solving for the full microscopic density profile at the contact line requires a considerable amount of modeling and computational effort , restricting computations to systems of very small size , such as nano - droplets.@xcite in the configuration we discuss here , this is circumvented by constructing a liquid wedge ( at saturation ) in contact with the substrate and with a well - defined three - phase contact line .
this effectively allows us to model the contact line of a macroscopic droplet . in this case , choosing a skewed grid for a representation of our numerical results , such as depicted in fig .
[ fig : exemplaricgrid ] , is computationally advantageous . for a map from the computational to the physical domain , we employ a spectral collocation method @xcite to represent functions in the half space @xmath39 .
in particular , we employ a tensor product of two 1d chebychev grids in @xmath40\times[-1,1]$ ] .
this domain is mapped onto the half - space through @xcite @xmath41 where @xmath42 represent the length - scales of the map .
the maps are such that half of the collocation points in each direction @xmath31 , @xmath32 are mapped onto the intervals @xmath43 $ ] and @xmath44 $ ] , respectively . in order to efficiently represent density distributions of wedges with relatively small contact angles , the grid is skewed by an angle @xmath45 , such that @xmath46 where division by @xmath47 corrects the scaling of @xmath48 in the skewed grid , such that the number of collocation points across a liquid - vapor interface at angle @xmath45 is invariant with respect to the angle .
we then impose that the density at the collocation points for @xmath49 corresponds to a straight wedge with angle @xmath45 .
in other words , the angle of the liquid - vapor interface for @xmath49 is imposed as a boundary condition .
also , we consider density profiles which converge smoothly to the planar wall - vapor and wall - liquid equilibrium density profiles as @xmath50 and @xmath51 , respectively . , computed via young s equation ( [ eq : youngsequation ] ) from surface tensions as calculated from dft for planar geometries .
complete wetting is reached at @xmath52 .
the inset shows measurements of the contact angle from 2d computations as described in the text with @xmath53 as deviations from the young contact angle .
circles , squares and diamonds depict computations with @xmath54 , @xmath2 and @xmath1 , respectively.,width=302 ] physically , the contact angle @xmath55 of a liquid - vapor interface in contact with a substrate is uniquely defined by the fluid properties and the external potential induced by the substrate through young s equation @xmath56 where @xmath57 is the liquid - vapor surface tension and @xmath58 and @xmath59 are the wall - liquid and the wall - vapor surface tensions . in fig .
[ fig : sketch_wettingepw_theta ] , we plot the young contact angle as a function of the wall attraction @xmath60 , where the surface tensions @xmath57 , @xmath58 and @xmath59 were obtained from planar dft computations . the young contact angle based on planar dft computations is then compared with measurements of the contact angle in 2d settings .
as described above , for @xmath49 , the contact angle is fixed numerically to @xmath61 , while for @xmath62 , the contact angle formed by the liquid - vapor interface at equilibrium should correspond to the young contact angle . to test this and ensure that the values measured do not depend on the numerical parameters @xmath63 and @xmath64
, we measure the contact angle in two steps .
first , we compute equilibrium configurations for orthogonal ( @xmath45 equal @xmath65 ) and skewed grids with @xmath45 equal @xmath1 and @xmath2 and for @xmath66 . measuring the average slope of the isodensity line for @xmath67 in the interval @xmath68
$ ] then allows us to get a rough first estimate for the physical contact angle . in the cases considered here , the slope of the height profile asymptotically approaches the slope dictated by the young contact contact angle from above , which means that the measured average slope leads to an overestimation of the contact angle ( see inset of fig .
[ fig : sketch_wettingepw_theta ] ) . in a next step ,
we choose three specific substrate strengths , and set @xmath45 equal to the estimated contact angle .
we then increase @xmath69 and check if this affects the numerical results for the slope of the height profile in the vicinity of the contact line . in an iterative procedure
, @xmath45 is adjusted such that no dependency on @xmath69 is observed .
an example study of the slope dependence on the numerical parameter @xmath69 is depicted in fig .
[ fig : y2maxasymptotics60 ] .
this procedure leads to a set of numerical parameters which allows for a very efficient representation and analysis of density distributions of contact lines in a wide range of contact angles . for @xmath70 , represented by the dotted , dash - dotted , dashed and solid lines , respectively .
computations are done on a grid with @xmath71 .
the substrate strength is @xmath72 , such that @xmath73 .
the inset depicts a contour plot of the contact line region .
the contour lines correspond to number densities @xmath74 from left to right , respectively.,width=302 ] we note that to solve the euler - lagrange eq .
( [ eq : eulerlagrangeequation ] ) , it is necessary to compute the functional derivative of @xmath75 $ ] .
this corresponds to a convolution of the density profile @xmath76 with the attractive interaction potential @xmath77 , given by @xmath78}{\delta { n}{\left({{\bf r}}\right ) } } & = \int { \phi_{\text{attr}}}({|{{\bf r}}- { { \bf r}}'| } ) { n}({{\bf r } } ' ) { \text{d}}{{\bf r } } ' .
\label{eq : convolution}\end{aligned}\ ] ] let us describe briefly how this expression is computed numerically at a collocation point @xmath79 .
it is worth noting that @xmath80 vanishes for @xmath81 .
hence , for each point @xmath82 , an area given by @xmath83 is discretized .
depending on the value of @xmath26 , @xmath84 is divided into two or three subareas which are discretized separately using spectral collocation methods .
we emphasize that technically , by employing a spectral method and placing collocations on the full area @xmath84 , we do not introduce a cutoff for @xmath85 .
this is particularly convenient for our choice of long - range fluid - fluid interactions .
the numerical accuracy is instead limited by the quality of the maps used to discretize @xmath84 - including the choice of mapping parameters , number of collocation points , and the quality of the discretization of @xmath76 on the original grid .
after interpolating the values of the density onto the collocation points of @xmath84 , the density is multiplied with @xmath85 such as given in ( [ eq : convolution ] ) and the integration is performed on @xmath84 .
the procedure is repeated for each collocation point .
the result of the interpolation and subsequent multiplication and integration is assembled in a convolution matrix in a preprocessing step .
all computations were performed using matlab on a intel core i7 - 3770 , 3.4ghz desktop pc with 8 gb ram running windows 7 . preprocessing the fmt integration matrices and the convolution matrices for a grid with a specific @xmath45 with @xmath86 collocation points takes approximately 3.5h . solving the euler - lagrange eq .
( [ eq : eulerlagrangeequation ] ) for a specific @xmath69 takes 0.5h2h depending on the specific configuration .
computations for full macroscopic systems such as macroscopic droplets require a coarse - grained approach . one way to retain essential information of the structure of the contact line without computing
the full density profile is through interface hamiltonian approaches which reduce the dimension by one.@xcite in particular , for systems which are not too close to the critical point , the film height profile of the liquid - vapor interface @xmath87 can be studied by minimizing the hamiltonian @xcite @xmath88 = \int_{-\infty}^\infty { \left\ { { { \gamma}_{\text{lv}}}{\left ( \sqrt { 1 + ( h')^2 } -1 \right ) } + v(h ) \right\ } } { \text{d}}x , \label{eq : hamiltonian_h}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath89 is the slope of the interface and @xmath90 is the effective interface potential . minimising the hamiltonian with respect to @xmath87 leads to the defining equation for the height profile @xmath91 where the disjoining pressure is the negative derivative of the interface potential @xmath92 integrating eq .
( [ eq : filmheightanddisjoiningpressure ] ) along the coordinate parallel to the wall leads to @xmath93 where it was used that the film converges to a constant wall - vapor film with film height @xmath94 . for @xmath95 , this corresponds with the sum rule representing the normal force balance from young s equation @xcite @xmath96 where it was used that the film converges to a wedge with the young contact angle @xmath97 .
similarly , integrating ( [ eq : filmheightanddisjoiningpressure ] ) with respect to the film height @xmath98 gives @xmath99_{\hat x=-\infty}^{\hat x = x } \notag\\ & = { { \gamma}_{\text{lv}}}{\left(\cos \theta(x ) -1\right)}. \label{eq : integratedfilmheightdisjoiningpressure}\end{aligned}\ ] ] integrating up to @xmath100 yields the important expression from derjaguin - frumkin theory @xcite @xmath101 we note that the sum rules ( [ eq : sumrulenormalforcebalance ] ) and ( [ eq : frumkinresultdisjoiningpressure1 ] ) hold independently of the exact definition of the interface potential .
an accurate model for the interface potential @xmath102 is crucial in order to retain important information about the structure of the contact line .
usually , @xmath90 is defined as the interface potential for a planar film of height @xmath98.@xcite in the last decade , hamiltonian models have been suggested which take into account nonlocal effects due to changes of the height profile along the substrate .
these include nonlocal models for short - ranged wetting,@xcite as well as models which include the slope of the height profile in the interface potential.@xcite we now compare one local model of the disjoining pressure with a model based on a full dft computation of a liquid wedge and test their predictive capabilities . for a planar liquid film and under the assumption that the free energy is a function of the film thickness only,@xcite the grand potential per unit area
can be reduced to @xmath103 where @xmath104 .
we note that eq .
( [ eq : reducedfreeenergy ] ) can be derived from the general formulation of the grand potential ( [ eq : grandpotential ] ) by assuming a dependence of the density profile @xmath105 on the film thickness @xmath106 but without any dependence on the chemical potential .
one method to do this is through a simple sharp - interface approximation .
@xmath107 is then the reduced form of the part @xmath108 + \int { n}({{\bf r } } ) { v_{\text{ext}}}({\bf r } ) { \text{d}}{{\bf r}}$ ] in eq .
( [ eq : grandpotential ] ) . at equilibrium
, @xmath106 minimizes @xmath109 .
let us define @xmath110 as the chemical potential at which a film of thickness @xmath106 is at equilibrium @xmath111 in the planar case , @xmath109 corresponds to the effective interface potential @xmath90 , and following frumkin s derivation,@xcite the disjoining pressure is defined by the negative derivative of this quantity with respect to film thickness , leading to @xmath112 linking the disjoining pressure with the adsorption isotherm.@xcite we note that by definition the disjoining pressure is zero for the equilibrium film thickness , consistent with @xmath6 . in other words , the disjoining pressure gives the excess pressure acting on the substrate for liquid films which are perturbed or off - equilibrium , e.g. through fluctuations or because of forcing through boundary conditions .
( @xmath113 ) .
the solid line represents the film thickness ( [ eq : adsorptionfilmthickness ] ) of equilibrium density distributions , and the dotted line represents the modified sum rule ( [ eq : sumruledisjoiningpressue : mod ] ) .
the contact angle obtained from sum rule ( [ eq : frumkinresultdisjoiningpressure1 ] ) is @xmath114 , in excellent agreement with the young contact angle @xmath55 .
the inset shows the asymptotic behavior for @xmath115 , as @xmath116 .
the dashed line is a fit for @xmath117 $ ] , giving @xmath118 with the coefficient @xmath119 .
the circles in the inset represent the individual dft computations of the equilibrium density , which in the main plot are connected by the solid line for convenience.,width=302 ] dzyaloshinskii , lifshitz and pitaevskii ( dlp ) employed quantum - field theory to directly compute the force acting on the surface due to an adsorbed film , and related it to the disjoining pressure.@xcite in other words , dlp related the chemical potential difference ( [ eq : disjoiningpressureadsorptionisotherm ] ) to the excess pressure on the substrate wall due to an adsorbed liquid film . for a discussion of this connection , see also ref . .
in particular , the force acting on the substrate at saturation chemical potential @xmath120 for a density profile @xmath121 is given by @xcite @xmath122 where @xmath123 is a density profile at chemical potential @xmath120 but with the additional constraint of film thickness @xmath106 .
such profiles may be either partially stable or unstable , and are obtained by minimizing the excess grand potential subject to the constraint of fixed adsorption .
@xcite @xmath124 is thus the density profile of the equilibrium case of a film of infinite thickness accounting for the contribution from the bulk pressure as @xcite @xmath125 we note that in eq .
( [ eq : sumruledisjoiningpressue ] ) , the disjoining pressure would decay exponentially if both the fluid - fluid and the fluid - substrate interactions were short - range . here , however , the long - range fluid - substrate interactions lead to an algebraic decay of the disjoining pressure .
furthermore , the interplay between long - range fluid - fluid and the short - range part of the fluid - substrate interactions also lead to an algebraic contribution to the disjoining pressure with an identical power series in terms of film thickness @xmath106.@xcite this means that one can not apply asymptotic theory to derive a distinct representation for long - range and short - range interactions.@xcite while dlp circumvent this problem by only applying their theory to films of mesoscopic scales,@xcite we will instead use the full numerical solution of the disjoining pressure in order to define a height profile through the three - phase contact line .
in fig . [ fig : adsorptionisotherm41 ] , we compare the derjaguin - frumkin route of the disjoining pressure ( [ eq : disjoiningpressureadsorptionisotherm ] ) and the definition from the normal force balance for a planar film on a solid substrate . we have employed a numerical continuation scheme to compute the full bifurcation diagram for the adsorption isotherm including its meta- and unstable branches . as an order parameter for the number density distribution , we have used the adsorption film thickness : @xmath126 where the vapor density @xmath127 is taken at the chemical potential at which @xmath128 is in equilibrium . in the large film thickness limit ,
dispersion forces enforce an algebraic approach of the saturation line @xcite as @xmath129 where @xmath130 is the deviation of the chemical potential from its saturation value .
note that the density profiles obtained when solving for the adsorption isotherm are not computed at saturation chemical potential , and can therefore not be used as @xmath121 in eq .
( [ eq : sumruledisjoiningpressue ] ) . to allow for a comparison of the two routes to the disjoining pressure , we have instead combined eqs .
( [ eq : sumruledisjoiningpressue ] ) and ( [ eq : sumrule : pressuredensityprofile ] ) to define a generalized form of sum rule ( [ eq : sumruledisjoiningpressue ] ) : @xmath131 = - \int_{-\infty}^\infty { n}(y ) v_{\text{ext}}'(y ) { \text{d}}y - p_\infty , } \label{eq : sumruledisjoiningpressue : mod}\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath132 is the bulk pressure of the given density profile @xmath133 as @xmath134 . the computations depicted in fig .
[ fig : adsorptionisotherm41 ] give an excellent agreement between the two definitions . ) and ( [ eq : integratedfilmheightdisjoiningpressure ] ) for an adsorbed liquid film in the box @xmath135\times[0,\infty]$ ] , where @xmath136 .
the force acting from the external potential modeling the substrate on the fluid strip @xmath137\times[0,\infty]$ ] corresponds to the disjoining pressure @xmath138 times the length of the interval @xmath139 . here , @xmath140 is the net force acting from the substrate on the fluid strip .
the liquid - vapor surface tension @xmath57 accounts for fluid - fluid interactions .
the forces accounting for the fluid - fluid interactions stemming from the distortion of the density profile due to the substrate are included as a wall - liquid film - vapor potential @xmath141 , acting at the wall.,width=302 ] let us now consider if there is a similar equivalence of disjoining pressure definitions for the case of varying height profiles @xmath87 .
for this purpose , consider eqs .
( [ eq : disjoiningpressure_intx ] ) and ( [ eq : integratedfilmheightdisjoiningpressure ] ) .
we can formulate a mechanical model for the contact line with height profile @xmath87 , in which eq .
( [ eq : disjoiningpressure_intx ] ) is a momentum balance in the direction normal to the wall , and eq .
( [ eq : integratedfilmheightdisjoiningpressure ] ) is a momentum balance parallel to the wall for a system @xmath142 \times [ 0,\infty]$ ] ( see fig . [ fig : sketchmechanicalmodel ] ) .
analogously , eq . ( [ eq : filmheightanddisjoiningpressure ] ) represents the young - laplace equation modeling the pressure jump across a curved interface in which the disjoining pressure acts as a gauge pressure in the liquid film .
the fact that the disjoining pressure in eq .
( [ eq : disjoiningpressure_intx ] ) represents the force of the substrate acting on the fluid film allows the generalisation of eq .
( [ eq : sumruledisjoiningpressue ] ) to two dimensions by @xcite @xmath143 where it was used that @xmath144 is the force acting through the external potential on the fluid element at point @xmath33 , and where the pressure acting from the bulk vapor was subtracted using eq .
( [ eq : sumrule : pressuredensityprofile ] ) . the definitions ( [ eq : disjoiningpressureadsorptionisotherm ] ) and ( [ eq : sumruledisjoiningpressue2d ] ) of disjoining pressures @xmath145 and @xmath146 , respectively , allow in turn for the definition of two alternative height profiles @xmath147 and @xmath148 .
integrating ( [ eq : integratedfilmheightdisjoiningpressure ] ) leads to the definition of the film height profile through the ordinary differential equation @xmath149 with boundary condition @xmath150 for some @xmath151 .
let us note that @xmath147 is translationally invariant through the boundary condition .
integrating eq .
( [ eq : disjoiningpressure_intx ] ) leads to the height profile @xmath152 with boundary condition @xmath153 where @xmath154 is the ( equilibrium ) height of the vapor film .
note that while @xmath147 is translationally invariant through boundary condition ( [ eq : boundaryconditionhi ] ) , @xmath148 is only invariant up to an additive constant , which does not change the position of the contact line in the direction parallel to the wall .
finally , we compare the film height profiles @xmath147 and @xmath148 with the adsorption film thickness @xmath155 in fig .
[ fig:2014_1_7_17_31_disjoiningpressurex ] , we show results of the equilibrium dft - fmt computations in the contact line region for three different substrate strengths , together with plots of the height profiles @xmath147 , @xmath148 and @xmath156 and the disjoining pressure profiles @xmath157 and @xmath158 .
we note that we have plotted @xmath147 twice , to match @xmath148 and @xmath156 for large film thicknesses , by use of the corresponding boundary condition ( [ eq : boundaryconditionhi ] ) .
it is also worth noting that through eq .
( [ eq : filmheightanddisjoiningpressure ] ) , the disjoining pressures correspond to the scaled curvatures of the height profiles . in all cases ,
the numerical results show an excellent agreement of sum rules ( [ eq : frumkinresultdisjoiningpressure1 ] ) and ( [ eq : sumrulenormalforcebalance ] ) .
this is shown in table [ tab : sumruleresults ] , where we compare the contact angles obtained by evaluating sum rules ( [ eq : frumkinresultdisjoiningpressure1 ] ) and ( [ eq : sumrulenormalforcebalance ] ) through the limiting behavior @xmath159 , with the young contact angle @xmath55 .
for ease of comparison , let us define @xmath160 we note that , as the height profiles @xmath161 are defined through eq .
( [ eq : filmheightanddisjoiningpressure ] ) , the sum rules ( [ eq : sumrulenormalforcebalance ] ) and ( [ eq : frumkinresultdisjoiningpressure1 ] ) lead to the same limiting contact angles for each of the height profiles .
.the young contact angle @xmath55 in eq .
( [ eq : youngsequation ] ) is compared with the contact angles obtained from the limiting behavior of the slope of the height profiles @xmath162 , defined in eq .
( [ eq : definelimitingangles ] ) for substrates of different strengths @xmath60 . as the height profiles are defined through eqs .
( [ eq:2ddisjoiningpressureintegrated_hp : h ] ) and ( [ eq:2ddisjoiningpressureintegrated_hp ] ) , respectively , this amounts to an error - check of sum rules ( [ eq : frumkinresultdisjoiningpressure1 ] ) and ( [ eq : sumrulenormalforcebalance ] ) , respectively .
note that both height profiles @xmath163 satisfy eq .
( [ eq : filmheightanddisjoiningpressure ] ) , which means that both sum rules ( [ eq : frumkinresultdisjoiningpressure1 ] ) and ( [ eq : sumrulenormalforcebalance ] ) lead to the same limiting contact angle for each of the height profiles .
error bounds for @xmath164 were estimated employing the numerical error in the computation of @xmath165 . [ cols="^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] the density profiles in figs . [
fig : y2maxasymptotics60 ] and [ fig:2014_1_7_17_31_disjoiningpressurex ] reveal the structure of the fluid in the immediate vicinity of the contact line .
it is evident that the fluid particles are densely packed close to the wall at the wall - liquid interface due to hard - sphere effects . in particular , the transition between the wall - vapor interface and the wall - liquid interface seems to lead to a quasi step - like increase of the density .
this influences the structure of the liquid - vapor interface in the vicinity of the contact line . as attraction with the wall increases and the contact angle decreases ,
packing close to the wall becomes even more pronounced .
most importantly , we observe how the structure of the liquid - vapor interface is significantly perturbed close to the wall due to hard - sphere packing effects and ultimately merges with the wall - vapor interface ahead of the macroscopic liquid wedge .
finally , we see that for @xmath166 , the film height based on the adsorption , @xmath156 , seems to coincide for all three cases with the isodensity line for @xmath167 .
let us now look at the results for the film heights @xmath147 and @xmath148 .
we can make two main observations .
first , there seems to be a reasonable agreement between height profiles @xmath147 and @xmath156 in figs .
[ fig:2014_1_7_17_31_disjoiningpressurex ] ( a ) , ( c ) and ( e ) . a more accurate means to compare the behavior of the height profiles is through their corresponding disjoining pressure profiles in figs .
[ fig:2014_1_7_17_31_disjoiningpressurex ] ( b ) , ( d ) and ( f ) .
note that the corresponding disjoining pressure plots correspond to the rescaled curvatures of the height profiles , in accordance with eq .
( [ eq : filmheightanddisjoiningpressure ] ) .
we observe that the maximal curvature of both height profiles @xmath147 and @xmath156 agree very well . also , the curvature of both height profiles @xmath147 and @xmath156 changes sign , which is more evident in fig .
[ fig:2014_1_7_17_31_disjoiningpressurex ] ( f ) .
in contrast , @xmath148 exhibits a lower curvature than @xmath147 and @xmath156 and it does not change its sign . furthermore , @xmath148 approaches an isodensity line for @xmath168 around @xmath169 , i.e. much greater than @xmath170 .
we note that the results for @xmath148 are similar to results obtained in ref . for fluids with short - ranged interactions and using mc computations in that the height profile @xmath148 approaches isodensity lines @xmath171 for large @xmath24 .
at the same time the results are surprising for two reasons .
first , the height profile @xmath147 is defined through the disjoining pressure @xmath157 , which is based on computations of planar wall - fluid interfaces .
hence , it loses some of the physics associated with the true 2d contact line region profiles in that it does not include any nonlocal effects in the direction parallel to the substrate , or effects due to the slope of the liquid - vapor interface .
nevertheless , it does give a good prediction of the adsorption height profile @xmath156 for contact angles up to @xmath2 .
second , the height profile @xmath148 , which is based on the disjoining pressure @xmath158 , seems to behave very differently in the vicinity of the contact line compared to the dft - fmt computations , even though it contains information from the full 2d density distribution .
the computations of height profiles through a three - phase contact line bring us a considerable step closer to addressing one of the main questions posed in the discussion papers that appeared in _ eur .
j. : spec .
_ , special issue ` wetting and spreading science - quo vadis ? ' , @xcite which is : considering the disjoining pressure based on the normal force balance @xmath146 , which is the correct choice of order parameter @xmath106 , if indeed there is one , that gives an accurate local function @xmath172 ? in this special issue , henderson @xcite noted that the disjoining pressure is inherently non - local , and that there is no unique pair @xmath173 , in accordance with parry _ et al . _
@xcite in this context , macdowell @xcite notes that the nonlocality of the disjoining pressure can only matter very close to the contact line , as far enough from the contact line young s equation must be satisfied .
the computations presented in this study are a decisive first step towards addressing the question of universality of the disjoining pressures @xmath157 and @xmath158 .
in particular , we show that for the cases considered here , the disjoining pressure obtained from the adsorption isotherm seems to accurately predict the height profile even very close to the contact line .
however , we also note that the disjoining pressure based on the adsorption isotherm apparently does not correspond to the excess pressure acting on the substrate obtained from a normal force balance .
one way to test if there is a unique pair @xmath173 would be by comparing static nanodroplets with each of the two disjoining pressures and compare the results to those obtained from dft - fmt , but this is beyond the scope of the present study .
we have computed the density distribution in the vicinity of a three - phase contact line at equilibrium using a dft - fmt theory with a mean - field barker - henderson approach for long - range particle interactions for three different substrate strengths , corresponding to contact angles of @xmath174 , @xmath114 and @xmath175 .
we have confirmed that the results satisfy basic sum rules to a good accuracy .
the computations allow us to probe the fluid structure in the immediate vicinity of the contact line : fluid particles are closely packed close to the contact line due to hard - sphere effects .
this packing leads to a quasi - stepwise increase of the density as the wall is approached . for smaller contact angles , i.e. as the attraction of the wall increases , the stepwise structure of the density is amplified .
furthermore , we have employed numerical results of adsorption isotherms for different substrate strengths to define a disjoining pressure in the spirit of derjaguin - frumkin adsorption theory .
we have also used the results from our equilibrium dft computations of the density profile to define a disjoining pressure based on the normal force balance at the contact line . via an effective mean - field
hamiltonian approach , both disjoining pressures were employed to define height profiles to describe the three - phase contact line .
these were compared with the height profile defined by the adsorption of the equilibrium density obtained from dft .
the results of the comparison of the two disjoining pressures can be summarized as follows : the disjoining pressure based on the adsorption isotherm following the derjaguin - frumkin theory shows good agreement with the dft adsorption height profile in terms of maximal curvature and behavior for large film heights .
in contrast , the height profile defined through the disjoining pressure based on a normal - force balance shows a very different behavior , in particular , its maximal curvature is lower than that obtained from dft and derjaguin - frumkin , and it shows a different behavior for large film heights compared to the other height profiles .
our results hence show that the disjoining pressure definition which gives the better prediction for the adsorption film thickness is based on the adsorption isotherm and does not correspond to the excess pressure acting on the substrate , thus contradicting the classical notion of what the disjoining pressure stands for .
one important restriction of the model used in this work is that it is of a mean - field type which does not take into consideration thermal fluctuations .
@xcite while we do not expect this to alter the general results of this work , fluctuations can not be neglected generally .
for example , fluctuations were observed when modeling a contact line using an mc algorithm for a fluid with short - range fluid - fluid interactions .
@xcite we note that including fluctuations in the fluid description calls for an amended hamiltonian theory , in which the liquid - vapor interface has to be assumed to depend on the film thickness , such as suggested by macdowell _ et al . _ for long - range fluid - fluid interactions .
@xcite however , incorporating fluctuations in a dft model is highly nontrivial @xcite and beyond the scope of this work . clearly , there are many future directions that can be explored . for instance , how chemically and/or topographically heterogeneous substrates , which are known to influence wetting characteristics substantially , @xcite affect the fluid structure in the vicinity of the contact line . of particular interest would also be the much more involved dynamic case . for this purpose , the dynamic dft approach developed recently for colloidal fluids @xcite should serve as a basis for the accurate modeling of moving contact lines as it takes into account both microscale inertia and hydrodynamic interactions , two effects which strongly influence nonequilibrium properties .
we shall address these and related issues in future studies .
we acknowledge financial support from erc advanced grant no . 247031 and imperial college through a dtg international studentship .
61ifxundefined [ 1 ] ifx#1 ifnum [ 1 ] # 1firstoftwo secondoftwo ifx [ 1 ] # 1firstoftwo secondoftwo `` `` # 1''''@noop [ 0]secondoftwosanitize@url [ 0 ]
+ 12$12 & 12#1212_12%12@startlink[1]@endlink[0]@bib@innerbibempty link:\doibase 10.1073/pnas.0407721102 [ * * , ( ) ] @noop * * , ( ) link:\doibase 10.1017/s0022112092000090 [ * * , ( ) ] \doibase http://dx.doi.org/10.1006/jcis.1996.0595 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1140/epjst / e2011 - 01447 - 6 [ * * , ( ) ] \doibase http://dx.doi.org/10.1063/1.3327840 [ * * , ( ) ] http://stacks.iop.org/0295-5075/92/i=2/a=26006 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1021/nl015640u [ * * , ( ) ] \doibase http://dx.doi.org/10.1063/1.4790581 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1080/00018737900101365 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1002/aic.10713 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/physreve.71.011602 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/physreve.84.021603 [ * * , ( ) ] @noop * * , ( ) \doibase http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.cis.2010.02.011 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/physrevlett.110.166101 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/physreve.87.020402 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1021/jp307820w [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/revmodphys.81.739 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/physrevlett.110.263201 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/physreve.72.051602 [ * * , ( ) ] in @noop _ _ , vol . ,
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thesis , ( ) link:\doibase 10.1103/physrevb.36.2126 [ * * , ( ) ] \doibase http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/0378-4371(91)90192-f [ * * , ( ) ] in link:\doibase 10.1007/bfb0109369 [ _ _ ] , , vol .
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_ _ , ( , , ) pp . @noop * * , ( ) @noop * * , ( ) http://stacks.iop.org/0038-5670/4/i=2/a=r01 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1140/epjst / e2011 - 01444 - 9 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1140/epjst / e2011 - 01449 - 4 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1140/epjst / e2011 - 01448 - 5 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1140/epjst / e2011 - 01446 - 7 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/physrev.137.a1441 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/physrevlett.63.980 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1063/1.1701689 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1021/la8024099 [ * * , ( ) ] @noop * * , ( ) http://link.aip.org/link/?jcp/111/8510/1 [ * * , ( ) ] @noop _ _ ( , , ) @noop * * , ( ) http://stacks.iop.org/0953-8984/18/i=28/a=001 [ * * , ( ) ] link:\doibase 10.1103/physreve.78.061602 [ * * , ( ) ] in @noop _ _ , ( , , ) pp .
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the _ virtual element method _ ( vem ) , introduced in @xcite , is a recent generalization of the finite element method which is characterized by the capability of dealing with very general polygonal / polyhedral meshes .
the interest in numerical methods that can make use of general polytopal meshes has recently undergone a significant growth in the mathematical and engineering literature ; among the large number of papers on this subject , we cite as a minimal sample @xcite . indeed
, polytopal meshes can be very useful for a wide range of reasons , including meshing of the domain ( such as cracks ) and data ( such as inclusions ) features , automatic use of hanging nodes , use of moving meshes , adaptivity .
moreover , the vem presents the advantage to easily implement highly regular discrete spaces . indeed , by avoiding the explicit construction of the local basis functions , the vem can easily handle general polygons / polyhedrons without complex integrations on the element ( see @xcite for details on the coding aspects of the method ) . the virtual element method has recently been applied successfully to a wide range of problems , see for instance @xcite . the numerical approximation of eigenvalue problems for partial differential equations derived from engineering applications , is object of great interest from both , the practical and theoretical points of view .
we refer to @xcite and the references therein for the state of the art in this subject area .
in particular , this paper focus on the so called thin plate vibration problem , which involves the biharmonic operator . among the existing techniques to solve this problem ,
various finite element methods have been introduced and analyzed . in particular , we mention nonconforming methods and different mixed formulations for the kirchhoff model , see for instance @xcite . more recently , in @xcite
a discontinuous galerkin method has been proposed and analyzed for the vibration and buckling problems of thin plates . on the other hand ,
the construction of high regularity conforming finite elements for @xmath1 is difficult in general , since them usually involve a large number of degrees of freedom ( see @xcite ) .
recently , thanks to the flexibility of vem , it has been presented in @xcite that virtual elements can be used to build global discrete spaces of arbitrary regularity that are simple in terms of degrees of freedom and coding aspects ( see also @xcite ) .
thus , in the present contribution , we follow a similar approach in order to solve an eigenvalue problem modelling the two - dimensional plate vibration problem considering a conforming @xmath2 discrete formulation .
the aim of this paper is to introduce and analyze a @xmath2-vem which applies to general polygonal meshes , made by possibly non - convex elements , for the two - dimensional plate vibration problem .
we begin with a variational formulation of the spectral problem relying only on the transverse displacement of the plate .
then , we exploit the capability of vem to built highly regular discrete spaces and propose a conforming @xmath1 discrete formulation .
the resulting discrete bilinear form is continuous and elliptic .
this method makes use of a very simple set of degrees of freedom , namely 3 degrees of freedom per vertex of the mesh . by using the abstract spectral approximation theory ( see @xcite ) , under rather mild assumptions on the polygonal meshes , we establish that the resulting scheme provides a correct approximation of the spectrum and prove optimal order error estimates for the eigenfunctions and a double order for the eigenvalues .
we remark that the present method is new on triangular meshes , and in this case the computational cost is almost @xmath3 , where @xmath4 denotes the number of vertices , thus providing a very competitive alternative in comparison to other classical techniques based on finite elements .
the outline of this article is as follows : we introduce in section [ sec : stat ] the variational formulation of the vibration eigenvalue problem , define a solution operator and establish its spectral characterization .
in section [ sec : discrete ] , we introduce the virtual element discrete formulation , describe the spectrum of a discrete solution operator and prove some auxiliary results . in section [ sec : convergence ] , we prove that the numerical scheme provides a correct spectral approximation and establish optimal order error estimates for the eigenvalues and eigenfunctions .
several numerical tests that allow us to assess the convergence properties of the method , to confirm that it is not polluted with spurious modes and to check whether the experimental rates of convergence agree with the theoretical ones are reported in section [ sec : numer ] .
finally , we summarize some conclusions in section [ sec : conclusion ] . throughout the article
we will use standard notations for sobolev spaces , norms and seminorms .
moreover , we will denote by @xmath5 a generic constant independent of the mesh parameter @xmath6 , which may take different values in different occurrences . finally , given
a linear bounded operator @xmath7 , defined on a hilbert space @xmath8 , we denote its spectrum by @xmath9 and by @xmath10 the resolvent set of @xmath11 .
moreover , for any @xmath12 , @xmath13 denotes the resolvent operator of @xmath11 corresponding to @xmath14 .
let @xmath15 be a polygonal bounded simply - connected domain occupied by the mean surface of a plate , clamped on its whole boundary @xmath16 .
the plate is assumed to be homogeneous , isotropic , linearly elastic , and sufficiently thin as to be modeled by kirchhoff - love equations .
we denote by @xmath17 the transverse displacement of the mean surface of the plate .
the plate vibration problem reads as follows : find @xmath18 , @xmath19 , such that @xmath20 where @xmath21 , with @xmath22 being the vibration frequency , and @xmath23 denotes the normal derivative . to simplify the notation we have taken the young modulus and the density of the plate , both equal to @xmath24 . to obtain a weak formulation of the spectral problem , we multiply the corresponding equation by @xmath25 and integrate twice by parts in @xmath26 . thus
, we obtain : find @xmath27 , @xmath19 , such that @xmath28 in the bilinear forms are defined for any @xmath29 by @xmath30 with @xmath31 denotes the usual scalar product of @xmath32-matrices , @xmath33 denotes the hessian matrix of @xmath34 .
we note that those are bounded bilinear symmetric forms .
moreover , it is immediate to prove that the eigenvalues of the problem above are real and positive .
next , we define the solution operator associated with the variational eigenvalue problem : @xmath35 where @xmath36 is the solution of the corresponding source problem : @xmath37 the following lemma allows us to establish the well - posedness of this source problem .
[ ha - elipt ] there exists a constant @xmath38 , depending on @xmath26 , such that @xmath39 the result follows immediately from the fact that @xmath40 is a norm on @xmath41 , equivalent with the usual norm .
we deduce from lemma [ ha - elipt ] that the linear operator @xmath11 is well defined and bounded .
notice that @xmath27 solves problem ( and hence problem ) if and only if @xmath42 with @xmath43 and @xmath19 , in which case @xmath44 .
moreover , it is easy to check that @xmath11 is self - adjoint with respect to the @xmath45 inner product . indeed , given @xmath46 , @xmath47
the following is an additional regularity result for the solution of problem and consequently , for the eigenfunctions of @xmath11 .
[ lem : reg ] there exist @xmath48 $ ] and @xmath49 such that , for all @xmath50 , the solution @xmath51 of problem satisfies @xmath52 and @xmath53 the proof follows from the classical regularity result for the biharmonic problem with its right - hand side in @xmath54 ( cf .
@xcite ) .
the constant @xmath55 in the lemma above is the sobolev regularity for the biharmonic equation with homogeneous dirichlet boundary conditions .
this constant only depends on the domain @xmath26 . if @xmath26 is convex , then @xmath56
otherwise , the lemma holds for all @xmath57 , where @xmath58 depends on the largest reentrant angle of @xmath26 ( see @xcite for the precise equation determining @xmath59 ) .
hence , because of the compact inclusion @xmath60 , @xmath11 is a compact operator .
therefore , we have the following spectral characterization result .
[ char_sp ] the spectrum of @xmath11 satisfies @xmath61 , where @xmath62 is a sequence of real positive eigenvalues which converges to @xmath63 .
the multiplicity of each eigenvalue is finite .
in this section , first we recall the mesh construction and the assumptions considered to introduce the discrete virtual element spaces .
then , we will introduce a virtual element discretization of the eigenvalue problem and provide a spectral characterization of the resulting discrete eigenvalue problem .
let @xmath64 be a sequence of decompositions of @xmath26 into polygons @xmath65 .
let @xmath66 denote the diameter of the element @xmath65 and @xmath6 the maximum of the diameters of all the elements of the mesh , i.e. , @xmath67 .
in what follows , we denote by @xmath68 the number of vertices of @xmath69 . for the analysis
, we will make the following assumptions as in @xcite : there exists a positive real number @xmath70 such that , for every @xmath6 and every @xmath71 , * the ratio between the shortest edge and the diameter @xmath66 of @xmath65 is larger than @xmath70 ; * @xmath72 is star - shaped with respect to every point of a ball of radius @xmath73 . for any subset @xmath74 and nonnegative integer @xmath75 ,
we indicate by @xmath76 the space of polynomials of degree up to @xmath75 defined on @xmath77 .
we consider now a simple polygon @xmath65 ( meaning open simply connected sets whose boundary is a non - intersecting line made of a finite number of straight line segments ) and we define the following finite - dimensional space @xmath78 where @xmath79 represents the biharmonic operator and @xmath23 denotes the normal derivative .
we observe that any @xmath80 satisfy the following conditions : * the trace ( and the trace of the gradient ) on the boundary of @xmath65 is continuous ; * @xmath81 .
we now introduce two sets @xmath82 and @xmath83 of linear operators from @xmath84 into @xmath85 . for all @xmath80
they are defined as follows : * @xmath82 contains linear operators evaluating @xmath86 at the @xmath87 vertices of @xmath65 ; * @xmath83 contains linear operators evaluating @xmath88 at the @xmath87 vertices of @xmath65 .
note that , as a consequence of definition of @xmath84 , the output values of the two sets of operators @xmath82 and @xmath83 are sufficient to uniquely determine @xmath86 and @xmath88 on the boundary of @xmath65 . in order to construct the discrete scheme ,
we need some preliminary definitions .
first , we split the bilinear forms @xmath45 and @xmath89 introduced in the previous section as follows : @xmath90 @xmath91 with @xmath92 and @xmath93 now , we define the projector @xmath94 for each @xmath95 as the solution of @xmath96 where @xmath97 is defined as follows : @xmath98 where @xmath99 , are the vertices of @xmath65 .
we note that the bilinear form @xmath100 has a non - trivial kernel , given by @xmath101 .
hence , the role of condition is to select an element of the kernel of the operator .
now , we introduce our local virtual space : @xmath102 it is easy to check that @xmath103 . therefore , the operator @xmath104 is well defined on @xmath105 and computable only on the basis of the output values of the operators in @xmath82 and @xmath83 . in ( * ? ? ? * lemma 2.1 ) has been established that the set of operators @xmath82 and @xmath83 constitutes a set of degrees of freedom for the space @xmath105 .
moreover , it is easy to check that @xmath106 .
this will guarantee the good approximation properties for the space .
additionaly , we have that the @xmath54 projector operator @xmath107 is computable from the set of degrees freedom .
in fact , for all @xmath108 , the function @xmath109 is defined by : @xmath110 now , due to the particular property appearing in definition of the space @xmath105 , the right hand side in is computable using @xmath111 , and thus @xmath112 depends only on the values of the degrees of freedom for @xmath113 and @xmath88 . actually , it is easy to check that on the space @xmath105 the projectors @xmath112 and @xmath111 are the same operator .
in fact : @xmath114 in what follows , we keep the notation @xmath104 for both operators .
we can now present the global virtual space : for every decomposition @xmath115 of @xmath26 into simple polygons @xmath65 , we define @xmath116 a set of degrees of freedom for @xmath117 is given by all pointwise values of @xmath113 on all vertices of @xmath115 together to all pointwise values of @xmath88 on all vertices of @xmath115 , excluding the vertices on @xmath16 ( where the values vanishes ) . thus , the dimension of @xmath117 is tree times the number of interior vertices . on the other hand ,
let @xmath118 and @xmath119 be any symmetric positive definite bilinear forms to be chosen as to satisfy : @xmath120 c_2b_k(v_h , v_h)\leq s_\e^0(v_h , v_h)\leq c_3 b_k(v_h , v_h)&\quad \forall v_h \in w_h^k .
\label{term - stab - sk0}\end{aligned}\ ] ] then , we set @xmath121 where @xmath122 and @xmath123 are the local bilinear forms defined on @xmath124 by @xmath125 the construction of the bilinear forms @xmath122 and @xmath123 guarantees the usual consistency and stability properties of vem , as noted in the proposition below . since the proof follows standard arguments in the virtual element literature ( see @xcite ) it is omitted .
the local bilinear forms bilinear forms @xmath122 and @xmath123 on each element @xmath65 satisfy * _ consistency _ : for all @xmath126 and for all @xmath72 we have that @xmath127 * _ stability _ : there exist positive constants @xmath128 independent of @xmath65 , such that : @xmath129 now , we are in a position to write the virtual element discretization of problem .
find @xmath130 , @xmath131 , such that @xmath132 we observe that by virtue of , the bilinear form @xmath133 is bounded .
moreover , as shown in the following lemma , it is also uniformly elliptic .
[ ha - elipt - disc ] there exists a constant @xmath134 , independent of @xmath6 , such that @xmath135 thanks to and lemma [ ha - elipt ] , it is easy to check that the above inequality holds with @xmath136 . the discrete version of the operator @xmath11 is then given by @xmath137 where @xmath138 is the solution of the corresponding discrete source problem @xmath139 because of lemma [ ha - elipt - disc ] , the linear operator @xmath140 is well defined and bounded uniformly with respect to @xmath6 .
once more , as in the continuous case , @xmath130 solves problem if and only if @xmath141 with @xmath142 and @xmath131 , in which case @xmath143 .
moreover , @xmath140 is self - adjoint with respect to @xmath133 . because of this , it is easy to prove the following spectral characterization .
[ char_sp_disc ] the spectrum of @xmath140 consists of @xmath144 eigenvalues , repeated according to their respective multiplicities .
all of them are real and positive . in order to prove that the solutions of the discrete problem converge to those of the continuous problem
, the standard procedure would be to show that @xmath140 converges in norm to @xmath11 as @xmath6 goes to zero .
however , such a proof does not seem straightforward in our case .
in fact , the operator @xmath140 is not well defined for any @xmath145 , since the definition of bilinear form @xmath123 in needs the degrees of freedom and in particular the pointwise values of @xmath146 , but it is for any @xmath147 . to circumvent this drawback , we will resort instead to the spectral theory from @xcite and @xcite . in spite of the fact that the main use of this theory is when @xmath11 is a non - compact operator , it can also be applied to compact @xmath11 and
we will show that in our case it works . with this aim ,
we first recall the following approximation result which is derived by interpolation between sobolev spaces ( see for instance ( * ? ? ? * theorem i.1.4 ) from the analogous result for integer values of @xmath55 ) . in its turn
, the result for integer values is stated in ( * ? ? ?
* proposition 4.2 ) and follows from the classical scott - dupont theory ( see @xcite and ( * ? ? ?
* proposition 3.1 ) ) : [ app1 ] let @xmath148 with @xmath149 $ ] .
assume that assumption * a2 * is satisfied .
then , there exist @xmath150 and @xmath49 such that @xmath151 for the analysis we will introduce the broken @xmath152-seminorm : @xmath153 which is well defined for every @xmath154 such that @xmath155 for all polygon @xmath156 .
now , for @xmath157 , let @xmath158 be defined in @xmath54 by @xmath159 for all @xmath71 , where @xmath104 has been defined in - .
[ a ] let @xmath157 .
then , there exists @xmath49 such that @xmath160 let @xmath157 .
now , let @xmath161 as defined in - .
we have for all @xmath162 that @xmath163 thus , @xmath164 where we have used and ( * ? ? ?
* proposition 4.1 ) and the result follows .
now , the remainder of this section is devoted to prove the following properties which will be used in the sequel : [ lemcotste ] there exists @xmath49 such that , for all @xmath165 , if @xmath166 and @xmath167 , then @xmath168 for all @xmath169 and for all @xmath170 such that @xmath171 .
let @xmath172 . for @xmath169 , we set @xmath173 .
thus @xmath174 , the definition of @xmath175 and those of @xmath11 and @xmath140 , we have @xmath176 then , we bound the first term on the right hand side of the previous inequality as follows @xmath177 where we have used the consistency , cauchy - schwartz inequality and stability of @xmath178 .
thus , from , using the above bound together with the cauchy - schwartz and triangular inequalities , we obtain @xmath179 therefore , the proof follows from and the above inequality .
the next step is to find appropriate term @xmath180 that can be used in the above lemma .
thus , we have the following result .
[ app2 ] assume * a1**a2 * are satisfied , let @xmath181 with @xmath149 $ ] .
then , there exist @xmath182 and @xmath49 such that @xmath183 the proof follows repeating the arguments from ( * ? ? ?
* proposition 4.4 ) ( see also ( * ? ? ? * proposition 3.1 ) ) .
as we mention before , to prove that @xmath140 provides a correct spectral approximation of @xmath11 , we will resort to the theory developed in @xcite for noncompact operators . to this end , we first introduce some notations . for any linear operator @xmath184 , we define the norm @xmath185 moreover , we recall the definition of the gap @xmath186 between two closed subspaces @xmath187 and @xmath188 of @xmath41 : @xmath189 where @xmath190 the theory from @xcite guarantees approximation of the spectrum of @xmath11 , provide the following two properties are satisfied : * ( p1 ) : @xmath191 , * ( p2 ) : @xmath192 . property ( p2 ) follows immediately from the approximation property of the virtual element space ( see proposition [ app2 ] ) and the density of smooth functions in @xmath41 .
property ( p1 ) is a consequence of the following lemma .
there exist @xmath49 and @xmath149 $ ] , independent of h , such that @xmath193 given @xmath165 , we have that ( see lemma [ lemcotste ] ) @xmath168 now , using lemma [ a ] , propositions [ app1 ] and [ app2 ] and lemma [ lem : reg ] , we have @xmath194 the proof is complete .
in this section we will adapt the arguments from @xcite to prove convergence of our spectral approximation as well as to obtain error estimates for the approximate eigenvalues and eigenfunctions .
the following results are consequence of property ( p1 ) ( see @xcite ) : [ bound - oper - resolv ] suppose that ( p1 ) holds true and let @xmath195 be closed . then , there exist positive constants @xmath5 and @xmath196 independent of @xmath6 , such that for @xmath197 @xmath198 let @xmath199 be an open set containing @xmath200
. then , there exists @xmath201 such that @xmath202 for all @xmath203 .
an immediate consequence of this theorem is that the proposed virtual element method does not introduce spurious modes with eigenvalues interspersed among those with a physical meaning . by applying the results from @xcite to our problem , we conclude the spectral convergence of @xmath140 to @xmath11 as @xmath204 . more precisely ,
let @xmath205 be an isolated eigenvalue of @xmath11 with multiplicity @xmath206 and let @xmath207 be an open circle in the complex plane centered at @xmath208 , such that @xmath208 is the only eigenvalue of @xmath11 lying in @xmath207 and @xmath209 . then , according to section 2 in @xcite for @xmath6 small enough there exist @xmath206 eigenvalues @xmath210 of @xmath140 ( repeated according to their respective multiplicities ) which lie in @xmath207 . therefore , these eigenvalues @xmath210 converge to @xmath208 as @xmath6 goes to zero .
the next step is to obtain error estimates for the spectral approximation . with this aim
, we will use the theory from @xcite .
however , we can not apply the results from this reference directly to our problem , because of the variational crimes in the bilinear forms used to define the operator @xmath140 .
therefore , we need to extend the results from this reference to our case . with this purpose , we follow an approach recently presented in @xcite .
consider the eigenspace @xmath211 of @xmath11 corresponding to @xmath208 and the @xmath212invariant subspace @xmath213 spanned by the eigenspaces of @xmath140 corresponding to @xmath210 . as a consequence of lemma [ bound - oper - resolv ]
, we have that @xmath214 for @xmath6 small enough .
let @xmath215 be the projector with range @xmath117 defined by the relation @xmath216 notice that @xmath217 is bounded uniformly on @xmath6 ( namely @xmath218 ) and @xmath219 let us define @xmath220 notice that @xmath221 .
next , we introduce the following spectral projectors ( the second one , is well defined at least for @xmath6 small enough ) : * the spectral projector of @xmath11 relative to @xmath208 : @xmath222 ; * the spectral projector of @xmath223 relative to @xmath210 : @xmath224 .
we have the following result ( see lemma 1 in @xcite ) .
[ unif - bound - r_z ] there exist @xmath201 and @xmath49 such that @xmath225 it is identical to that of lemma 11 from @xcite . consequently , for @xmath6 small enough
, the spectral projector @xmath226 is bounded uniformly in @xmath6 .
now , we define @xmath227 from lemmas [ lem : reg ] and [ a ] we have that @xmath228 where @xmath229 $ ] is such that @xmath230 . the following result establish an error estimate for the eigenfunctions .
[ conv - eigenfunc ] if @xmath231 with @xmath232 $ ] , there exist positive constants @xmath196 and @xmath5 such that , for all @xmath203 , @xmath233 it follows by arguing exactly as in the proof of theorem 1 from @xcite and using .
finally , we have the following result that provides an error estimate for the eigenvalues .
there exist positive constants @xmath5 and @xmath196 independent of @xmath6 , such that , for all @xmath203 , @xmath234 where @xmath229 $ ] is such that @xmath230 .
let @xmath235 be such that @xmath236 is a solution of with @xmath237 . according to theorem [ conv - eigenfunc ] , @xmath238 .
it follows that there exists @xmath239 eigenpair solution of such that @xmath240 from the symmetry of the bilinear forms and the facts that @xmath241 for all @xmath242 ( cf . ) and @xmath243 for all @xmath244 ( cf . )
, we have @xmath245+(\l_{h}^{(i)}-\l ) b(w_{h},w_{h})\end{aligned}\ ] ] from which we obtain the following identity : @xmath246.\end{aligned}\ ] ] the next step is to bound each term on the right hand side above .
the first and the second ones are easily bounded using the cauchy - schwarz inequality and : @xmath247 for the third term , for @xmath248 , we consider @xmath249 defined on each @xmath72 so that @xmath250 and the estimate of proposition [ app1 ] holds true
. then , we use and to write @xmath251 then , adding and subtracting @xmath17 , using triangular inequality , proposition [ app1 ] , and , we obtain @xmath252 for the last term in , using that @xmath104 is also the @xmath253-projector ( see ) , we obtain @xmath254 where we have used again proposition [ app1 ] and . on the other hand , @xmath255 thus , the theorem follows from from and the inequalities above .
we report in this section a couple of tests which have allowed us to assess the theoretical results proved above . with this aim ,
we have implemented in a matlab code the proposed vem on arbitrary polygonal meshes , by following the ideas presented in @xcite . now , to complete the choice of the vem , we had to fix the bilinear forms @xmath256 and @xmath257 satisfying and , respectively .
proceeding as in @xcite , a natural choice for @xmath256 is given by @xmath258 & \quad \forall u_h , v_h\in w_h^{k},\nonumber\ ] ] where @xmath259 are the vertices of @xmath65 , @xmath260 corresponds to the maximun diameter of the elements with @xmath261 as a vertex and @xmath262 is a multiplicative factor to take into account the magnitude of the material parameter , for instance , in the numerical tests a possible choice could be to set @xmath262 as the mean value of the eigenvalues of the local matrix @xmath263 .
this ensure that the stabilizing term scales as @xmath264 .
now , a choice for @xmath257 is given by @xmath265 & \quad \forall u_h , v_h\in w_h^{k}.\label{chose - sk0}\end{aligned}\ ] ] in this case , we have multiplied the stabilizing term by the parameter @xmath266 , where in this case , a possible choice could be to set @xmath267 as the mean value of the eigenvalues of the local matrix @xmath268 to ensure .
a proof of and for the above ( standard ) choices could be derived following the arguments in @xcite ( see also @xcite ) . finally , we mention that the above definitions of the bilinear forms @xmath256 and @xmath257 are according with the analysis presented in @xcite in order to avoid spectral pollution . we have tested the method by using different families of meshes ( see figure [ fig : vm1 ] ) : * @xmath269 : rectangular meshes ; * @xmath270 : hexagonal meshes ; * @xmath271 : non - structured hexagonal meshes made of convex hexagons ; * @xmath272 : trapezoidal meshes which consist of partitions of the domain into @xmath273 congruent trapezoids , all similar to the trapezoid with vertices @xmath274 , @xmath275 , @xmath276 and @xmath277 . the refinement parameter @xmath278 used to label each mesh
is the number of elements on each edge of the plate .
( top left ) , @xmath270 ( top right ) , @xmath271 ( bottom left ) and @xmath279 ( bottom right ) , for @xmath280.,width=238,height=238 ] ( top left ) , @xmath270 ( top right ) , @xmath271 ( bottom left ) and @xmath279 ( bottom right ) , for @xmath280.,width=238,height=238 ] ( top left ) , @xmath270 ( top right ) , @xmath271 ( bottom left ) and @xmath279 ( bottom right ) , for @xmath280.,width=238,height=238 ] ( top left ) , @xmath270 ( top right ) , @xmath271 ( bottom left ) and @xmath279 ( bottom right ) , for @xmath280.,width=238,height=238 ] first , we have considered a simply supported plate , because analytical solutions are available in this case ( see @xcite ) .
even though our theoretical analysis has been developed only for clamped plates , we think that the results of the previous sections should hold true for more general boundary conditions as well .
the results that follow give some numerical evidence of this .
for the computations we took @xmath281 . in table
[ tab:1 ] we report the four lowest eigenvalues ( @xmath282 @xmath283 ) computed by our method with two different family of meshes and @xmath284 for a simply supported plate .
the table includes computed orders of convergence , as well as more accurate values extrapolated by means of a least - squares fitting .
the last column shows the exact eigenvalues .
it can be seen from table [ tab:1 ] that the method converges to the exact values with an optimal quadratic order .
notice that , for the @xmath269 meshes , the second computed eigenvalue is double , because the meshes preserve the symmetry of the domain leading to an eigenvalue of multiplicity 2 in the continuous problem .
.lowest vibration frequencies of a simply supported square plate computed on different meshes with the method analyzed in this paper . [ cols="^,^,^,^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ] finally , we show in figure [ fig : vm36 ] the eigenfunctions corresponding to the four lowest eigenvalues .
( top left ) @xmath285 ( top right ) , @xmath286 ( bottom left ) and @xmath287 ( bottom right).,width=257,height=226 ] ( top left ) @xmath285 ( top right ) , @xmath286 ( bottom left ) and @xmath287 ( bottom right).,width=257,height=226 ] ( top left ) @xmath285 ( top right ) , @xmath286 ( bottom left ) and @xmath287 ( bottom right).,width=257,height=226 ] ( top left ) @xmath285 ( top right ) , @xmath286 ( bottom left ) and @xmath287 ( bottom right).,width=257,height=226 ]
the mathematical and numerical analysis for the vibration problem of kirchhoff - love plates approximation by virtual elements was addressed in this paper .
the variational formulation is written in terms of the transverse displacement of the plate and a conforming @xmath0 discrete formulation was proposed to numerically approximate the eigenvalue problem .
it is established that the resulting scheme provides a correct spectral approximation and that the error estimates are of the optimal order for the eigenfunctions and eigenvalues .
the proposed method is new on triangular meshes , and in this case the computational cost is almost @xmath3 , where @xmath4 denotes the number of vertices , thus providing a very competitive alternative in comparison to other classical techniques based on finite elements .
the theoretical results obtained were validated numerically . even though our theoretical analysis has been developed only for clamped plates ,
additional examples have been considered and we evidenced the results of the previous sections hold true for more general boundary conditions as well .
the first author was partially supported by conicyt ( chile ) through fondecyt project 1140791 and by diubb through project 151408 gi / vc universidad del bo - bo , chile .
the second author was partially supported by basal project pfb 03 , cmm , universidad de chile , chile .
the third author was partially supported by a conicyt ( chile ) fellowship .
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Harry Potter 1. CAPITULO 1
**Capitulo 1**
Respiro hondo intentando tranquilizarse, y tras soltar el aire, abrió la puerta de la casa.
- ¿Ron? – pregunto al silencio, y suspiro aliviada cuando no hubo respuesta.
Bueno, eso le daría tiempo para intentar tranquilizarse, y sobre todo, para pensar en la forma en que les diría lo que había sucedido mientras estaba en Londres...
**Flash Back**
Ya había cerrado algunos de los tratados con el Ministro, y satisfecha de su trabajo, se dirigió a las chimeneas; Anhelaba estar de nuevo en casa, aquel lugar no le traía buenos recuerdos, y desde que llego, había deseado marcharse cuanto antes.
¿Cuánto hacía desde la última vez que había estado ahí?, no lo recordaba, y en realidad no deseaba hacerlo, esa era una parte de su vida que había enterrado en lo más profundo de su mente con la esperanza de lograr olvidarla.
- _"A veces, es mejor dejar el pasado en su lugar"_ – le había aconsejado Harry cuando la guerra termino, y a su punto de vista, había sido un sabio consejo que siguió durante mucho tiempo.
- ¿Granger? – aquélla voz la hizo detenerse durante algunos segundos, pero de inmediato comenzó a caminar de nuevo fingiendo no haber escuchado que la llamaban, o en todo caso, que ella no era esa persona que acababan de mencionar.
La voz le había parecido conocida, y eso había hecho que apresurara el paso, porque si era quien imaginaba, no podía permitir que la interceptara. Debía salir de ahí de inmediato.
- ¡Granger, detente! – exclamo la voz algunos metros tras ella, y sin poder evitarlo, Hermione se detuvo dirigiendo sus castaños ojos hacía quien le hablaba.
No se había equivocado, algunos metros y varias personas la separaban de un alto joven rubio que la observaba con sus penetrantes ojos grises; El cabello lo llevaba ligeramente más largo de lo ella le recordaba, e incuso algunos mechones rebeldes le caían sobre los parpados confiriéndole un aire elegantemente frió. No siguió analizándolo, porque en cuanto aquel hizo ademán de acercarse, ella se alejo corriendo hacía las chimenea, empujando de vez en cuando a la gente que se atravesaba en su camino; Ignoro a la voz que la urgía a enfrentarlo, a hacerle pagar todo el daño que había causado, porque sabía muy bien que hacerlo, pondría en peligro la tranquila vida que junto con sus seres queridos, había logrado establecer después de aquella etapa oscura y dolorosa de sus vidas.
Estaba por llegar a una de las chimeneas, cuando una mano fuerte se cerro sobre su brazo impidiéndole llegar.
- ¡Suéltame Malfoy! – le espetó en un susurro volviéndose hacía el rubio. Si gritaba, terminaría atrayendo la atención de la gente, y eso era lo único que no necesitaba.
- No – fue la respuesta del Slytherin, y aunque se mostraba tranquilo y arrogante, Hermione pudo ver un brillo de emoción en sus grises ojos – Necesito que hablemos... –
- Yo no tengo nada que hablar contigo – le aclaró, pero por más que lo intento, no pudo soltarse de aquel agarre, que aunque no la lastimaba, la mantenía firmemente sujeta.
- Hablaremos – le aseguro Draco, y sin esperar contestación, la arrastro lejos de la gente.
Caminaron por uno de los muchos pasillos, y se detuvieron frente a una puerta que Draco abrió caballerosamente para después de meter a Hermione, meterse él.
- ¿Que demonios es lo que quieres, Malfoy? – le encaro Hermione cuando éste la soltó.
- Quiero que me digas donde esta Harry – respondió Draco, y Hermione se asombro al notar que el tono frió había desaparecido, y ahora había en aquélla voz, una mezcla de emoción y urgencia.
- ¿Y para que quieres saberlo¿Para volver a jugar con él¿Para romperle el corazón una vez más cuando vuelva a estar perdidamente enamorado de ti?, no Malfoy, no permitiré que vuelvas a pisotearlo de esa manera, le ha costado mucho trabajo olvidarte y poder rehacer su vida... – sabía que estaba siendo cruel, pero no podía evitarlo, lo había odiado por haber hecho sufrir a su amigo, por haberlo abandonado cuando más lo necesitaba, por haberlo traicionado, por haber jugado con su corazón, por haberle robado aquella alegría que hacía brillas sus verdes ojos...
- Granger, se que le hice daño, pero tuve mis razones para hacer lo que hice, y después de que la guerra termino, intente buscarlo para explicarle, pero se había marchado... Si tan sólo me escuchara, entonces comprendería lo que sucedió... – intento explicarle, comenzando a sentirse desesperado ante la dureza en las palabras de la castaña.
- ¡Claro que se marcho! – exclamo Hermione mirándole furiosa, ignorando el brillo triste y el tono suplicante que había percibido en el rubio - ¡¿Acaso esperabas que se quedara en un lugar que sólo le traía malos recuerdos, que se quedara a esperar a ver si cambiabas de opinión después de cómo lo trataste?! –
- ¡Sólo te estoy pidiendo que me digas donde esta para poder hablar con el, para tratar de aclarar las cosas! – exclamó también Draco, sin poder ocultar la desesperación que se empezaba a desbordar dentro de él.
Aquello si que asombro a Hermione, había dolor, había tristeza y desesperación en la voz y los gestos del siempre frió e inmutable Draco Malfoy, pero no permitió que aquello le ablandara el corazón, no podía confiar en Malfoy, podía estar mintiendo, ese tipo de cosas se le daban bien siendo un Slytherin.
- No Malfoy, no puedo permitir que vuelvas a acercarte a él – declaro apartando la mirada del rubio – Le habías prometido estar a su lado, juraste amarlo y protegerlo, pero lo abandonaste, lo dejaste a su suerte cuando más te necesito, y no sólo eso, peleaste a favor de Voldemort durante la batalla final¿Qué crees que sintió cuando la mascara voló de tu rostro y contemplo al ser que amaba alzando su varita contra él? Nos costo mucho trabajo levantarle el animo, y en más de una ocasión intento suicidarte¡Intento quitarse la vida por tu culpa! Al final, sólo una cosa logro darle el animo y el valor suficiente para seguir adelante, no puedo permitir que llegues y destruyas una felicidad que nos costo años de sufrimiento poder construir y mantener... Deja de buscarlo, olvídate de él, si quieres finge que murió durante la batalla... –
- No puedo, yo... Yo le sigo amando... – murmuro en un susurro que Hermione apenas alcanzo a escuchar.
- ¡Y si lo amabas ¿Por qué hiciste todo eso?! – le grito Hermione molesta - ¡Si lo amabas debiste haberte quedado a su lado, debiste haber peleado junto a él! –
- Necesito hablar con él – fue todo lo que Draco dijo, y en su voz había tal sentimiento de tristeza y dolor, que Hermione no pudo seguir ignorando aquello, en verdad parecía sufrir...
- Olvídalo Malfoy, es lo mejor que puedes hacer – fue todo lo que le pudo decir, y se dirigió a la puerta antes de cometer una tontería de la que luego podría arrepentirse.
- No voy a olvidarlo – la voz de Draco la detuvo cuando se disponía a abrir la puerta – Se que hice mal, y no sabes lo mucho que me he arrepentido de haberle abandonado, él era lo único bueno en mi vida, y voy a luchar por recuperarlo... –
- ¿Aunque eso signifique lastimarlo de nuevo? – pregunto Hermione abriendo la puerta, y ante la falta de respuesta, abandono la oficina rumbo a las chimeneas, deseando que aquel encuentro nunca se hubiera dado, pero sin poder olvidar la postura derrotada y dolida de aquel Slytherin que siempre se mostró altivo y seguro.
**End Flash Back**
- ¿Por que tan pensativa? – le pregunto una voz gruesa, y tan sumida estaba en sus pensamientos, que no pudo evitar sobresaltarse cuando el silencio fue roto.
- Oh... Me asustaste – le amonestó dirigiendo sus castaños ojos al quicio de la cocina desde donde el pelirrojo la observaba divertido.
- Pude percatarme de ello – comento sonriéndole cariñoso mientras se acercaba - ¿Y me dirás cómo te fue? – le pregunto después de darle un tierno beso en la boca y dirigirse a la cafetera para servir café.
- Pues logre que el Ministro firmara los tratados – le informo sonriendo orgullosa.
- Me alegro por ti, amor – la felicito Ron acercándole la primera taza de café mientras la castaña se sentaba en la mesa para cuatro personas que había en la cocina - ¿Y como te sentiste? –
- Fue extraño regresar después de tanto tiempo... – intento explicarle, sabiendo que a eso se refería el pelirrojo cuando le hizo la pregunta – Además... –
- ¿Además qué? – le alentó Ron para que continuara, y se volvió hacía ella batiendo su café para poder prestarle mayor atención.
- Yo... Me tope con Malfoy cuando salía del Ministerio – confeso, y sintiéndose nuevamente nerviosa ante la posible reacción del pelirrojo, se limito a beber su café.
- ¡¿Qué?! – exclamo Ron, y casi se le caía la taza cuando escucho a Hermione – Y él... ¿Él te reconoció? –
- Yo... Si... – respondió en un susurro, y dejo la taza sobre la mesa. Repentinamente se sentía culpable por no haberse liberado del rubio antes.
- ¿Y que paso? – le pregunto Ron observándola con una mezcla de coraje y aprensión.
- Él... Él me pidió que le dijera donde estaba Harry... – le explico, y pudo ver en los ojos del pelirrojo, que la aprensión era superada por la furia.
- ¡¡Es un maldito bastardo!! – estallo Ron molesto, y dejo la taza sobre la mesa con tanta fuerza, que derramo parte de su contenido sobre la misma – ¡¿Cómo se atreve a preguntar por él después de lo que le hizo?! –
- Me dijo que quería hablar con Harry, que tenía una explicación para lo que había sucedido – le contó Hermione, y volvió a recordar la desesperación que había captado en la voz del rubio.
- ¡Claro que hay una explicación, ese idiota siempre tendrá una justificación para sus estupideces! – exclamo Ron furioso, dando vueltas en la cocina intentando tranquilizarse, pero sabiendo que eso no pasaría pronto.
- Se veía muy afectado cuando me lo dijo... – comento Hermione, sin saber exactamente porque decía aquello – Y cuando me encontró se veía muy emocionado... –
- ¡Claro, seguro piensa que Harry sigue estúpidamente enamorado de él, que volverá a confiar ciegamente en él sin importar lo mal que lo trato! – escupió Ron, y después de dar algunas vuelvas más, respiro profundo para intentar tranquilizarse.
Hermione sólo se limito a observarlo; Sabía que estaba enfurecido, y no era para menos, fue el primero que con gusto le hubiera partido la cara al vanidoso Slytherin cuando se entero que había estado jugando con su amigo, y a ella le costo demasiado trabajo mantenerlo bajo control, sobre todo cuando Harry trato de suicidarse...
- No hay que decirle nada a Harry – la voz de Ron la obligo a mirarlo; Hablaba con una voz modulada, pero ella sabía que le estaba costando algo de trabajo sonar tranquilo, no por nada era su esposa.
- ¿Estas seguro? – le pregunto.
- Es lo mejor, a Harry le a costado mucho trabajo superar todo esto, no podemos arruinar su felicidad hablándole de ese desgraciado – le recordó Ron, y después de respirar hondo, busco un trapo para limpiar el café que se había derramado sobre la mesa.
- Si, tienes razón – accedió Hermione mirando a su esposo limpiar la mesa.
- Por cierto, espero que no hallas olvidado que vendrá a cenar – le recordó cuando se sentó a la mesa dispuesto a intentar disfrutar su café.
- ¡Lo había olvidado¡ – exclamo Hermione levantándose de la mesa – Supongo que vendrá con Ethan¿Verdad? –
- Si, dijo que lo traería – confirmó Ron dando un sorbo a su café – Sabes que no le gusta separarse demasiado de él –
- Merlín, entonces no tengo mucho tiempo para hacer el espagueti – murmuro la castaña dirigiéndose a las alacenas.
- Si quieres, podemos pedir algo para cenar, sabes que a Ethan le fascina la pizza – propuso Ron.
- Pero prometí que haría la cena... – comento Hermione compungida.
- Ni Harry ni Ethan se ofenderán si decidimos hacer otra cosa para cenar, de hecho, a Ethan le fascinará si decidimos cenar pizza – opino Ron sonriendo divertido.
- No creo que a Harry le haga mucha gracias que Ethan coma todo el tiempo pizza – replicó Hermione observando desalentada las pocas cosas que había en la alacena.
- ¿Entonces que piensas hacer? – le pregunto el pelirrojo observándola por sobre su taza de café mientras bebía.
- Iré a comprar las cosas para el espagueti y tú me acompañaras – le indicó sonriendo mientras se encaminaba a la puerta.
- Como usted ordene – accedió Ron sin dejar de sonreír, mientras se levantaba y seguía a su esposa.
* * *
- Pero señor Malfoy, buscamos al señor Potter durante 5 años y jamás encontramos rastro de él... – le recordó un hombre bajito cubierto con una capa gris.
- Si, pero en esa ocasión no teníamos ni una pista de a donde podría haber ido, sin embargo, esta mañana me acabo de topar con una de sus mejores amigas, con la señorita Granger, y después de intercambiar algunas palabras con ella, descubrí que sigue en contacto con él... – le explico Draco, y un brillo de emoción cruzo sus grises ojos, aunque su rostro se mantuvo impasible ante aquel hombre – No me dijo donde se encontraba – siguió explicándole mientras se recargaba en el asiento de cuero negro tras su escritorio – Pero tras hablar largo y tendido con el Ministro, éste me dijo que la señorita Granger trabaja en el Ministerio de Mágia Alemana... No creo que Harry se encuentre en la Comunidad Mágica de Alemania, su estancia no pasaría inadvertida, no, debe estar viviendo en alguna Zona Muggle, y la manera más rápida de encontrarlo, es a través de Weasley o Granger, ellos tarde o temprano irán a ver a Harry, si no es que están viviendo juntos, y en cuanto lo encentren, quiero que me informen¿Me ha entendido? –
- Perfectamente, señor Malfoy – respondió el hombre.
- Muy bien, entonces comiencen la búsqueda, y ya sabe, con la mayor discreción posible – le advirtió Draco – Y si lo encuentran, avísenme de inmediato –
- Como usted diga, señor Malfoy – accedió el hombre – Ahora me retiro para poner a mis hombres en la búsqueda del señor Potter – y tras una reverenda, se dirigió hacía la chimenea, por donde desapareció usando los Polvos Flu.
- No me interesa lo que diga Granger – murmuro Draco una vez que se hubo quedado solo en su lujoso despacho – recuperare a Harry sin importar qué... – y tomo el marco de una foto que tenía sobre su escritorio, la foto de un chico de no más de 17 años que sonreía a la cámara mientras el frió viento de invierno alborotaba más sus rebeldes cabellos negros; Las verdes esmeraldas brillaban alegres, al tiempo que uno de los ojos se cerraba en un guiño coqueto hacía quien tomaba la foto, y Draco podría recordar perfectamente cuando tomó esa foto... – Te recuperare, Harry – prometió, y después de besar el frió vidrio que cubría la foto, volvió a depositarla sobre el escritorio para seguir con su trabajo.
* * *
**_Holitas!_**
**_Ya lo sé, deben de estar pensano lo de siempre, que no conlcuyo una historia cuando ya estoy comenzando otra, pero es que no lo puedo evitar T.T Ya tenía mucho tiempo pensando en esta, y en verdad que necesitaba escribirla, además, para todos los que me siguen en Para Siempre Junto A Ti, ya les aviso que no se preocupen, no me he olvidado de esa historia, es sólo que no encuentro la inspiracion para seguirla, pero tampoco quiero dejarlos olvidados, así que de mientras le mando esta para que se entretengan un rato xD_**
**_Espero que les guste este primer capitulo y que me dejen su opinión, que ya saben que para mi es muy importante n.n_**
**_Saludos!_**
2. CAPITULO 2
**Capitulo 2**
- Ya llegue – anuncio Ron en cuanto entro a la casa, y mientras colgaba su capa negra sobre el perchero, escucho movimiento en la cocina, donde de seguro Hermione se encontraba cocinando.
- Bienvenido – le respondió la castaña en cuanto lo vio entrar a la cocina - ¿Cómo te fue? –
- Pues no hubo mucha acción – le contó mientras se sentaba a la mesa observándola cocinar – Hicimos una redada y capturamos a 6 magos que traficaban pociones ilegales, pero eso fue todo lo que hubo durante el día¿Y que tal te fue a ti? –
- Pues tuve más acción que tú – le respondió sonriendo divertida – Por fin logre que el consejo aceptaran los últimos tratados que quedaban por revisar, y durante la tarde, me han llamado para que ayude a la mejora de La Reforma Mágica Mundial –
- Eso es injusto¿Cómo puede mi esposa tener más acción que yo si trabaja en leyes? – pregunto Ron fingiendo enojo.
- No te preocupes tanto, cariño – le respondió Hermione acercándosele con una sonrisa insinuante en su rostro – Te prometo que hoy en la noche tendrás mucha acción –
- Vaya, la cosa se pone interesante – comento Ron atrayéndola para poder besarla.
* * *
Había estado siguiendo a la chica tal y como le habían encomendado, descubriendo que vivía en la ciudad de Hamburgo, pero hasta ahora no había hecho contacto alguno con Potter, así que seguía a la expectativa, quizás su compañero habría tenido más suerte al seguir al pelirrojo, pues según los antecedentes, "El-Niño-Que vivió", que de niño ya no debía tener nada, era más apegado a él que a ella, así que espero escondido sobre las gruesas ramas de uno de los árbol que se encontraban en la cera de enfrente de una hermosa casa de dos plantas con garaje para el coche, en donde la castaña vivía junto con el pelirrojo.
Le había sorprendido saber que con ellos no se encontraba Potter, pues según datos que le habían pasado, lo más seguro era que el moreno se encontrara compartiendo casa con sus dos mejores amigos; Después de algunos minutos de seguir a la castaña, había descubierto que ésta se encontraba casada con Weasley, y entonces ya no le pareció tan extraño que Potter no viviera con ellos; Ahora sólo faltaba que alguno de los dos hiciera contacto con Potter y entonces podrían dar parte a su jefe sobre el paradero del extraviado y siempre famoso Harry Potter.
Si era sincero consigo mismo, se moría de ganas por ver el aspecto que "El Salvador del Mundo Mágico" tendría después de casi 10 años de encontrarse desaparecido, ya que por imágenes de El Profeta, sabía que había sido bien parecido.
A lo lejos pudo escuchar un suave "Pop" que indicaba que alguien se acababa de aparecer, y segundos después, pudo ver la silueta de un hombre que salía de uno de los pequeños callejones entre las casas.
- ¡Por fin llegas, Parker! – exclamo en un susurro apenas audible, pues sabía quien era el que se acercaba. Con una sacudida de su varita, el hechizo desilusionador que se había lanzado, se desvaneció dejándolo a la vista del otro hombre.
- Lo siento – se disculpo Parker con voz cansada, y cuando llego hasta donde su compañero podía verlo, aquel lanzo una exclamación de asombro que de inmediato ahogo con sus mano.
- ¡¿Pero que demonios te paso?! – le pregunto, paseando la vista por su cabeza vendada, su capa chamuscada, y su rostro y brazos raspados y ensangrentados.
- Weasley es Auror de primera categoría en el Ministerio de Mágia – le explicó sentándose en la banqueta, cansado y adolorido – Hubo una alarma y él fue de los primeros en salir al encuentro de unos traficantes, pero eran muchos, así que el lugar pronto se convirtió en el mismísimo infierno, y para colmos¡Él parecía estarlo disfrutando!, se movía de aquí para allá sin protegerse demasiado, y lanzando hechizos a diestra y siniestra derribando a sus oponentes... Debo admitir que es bueno... Y cuando todo termino¡Parecía decepcionado!, incuso le dijo a uno de los Aurores que le acompañaba, que el encuentro había durado muy poco¡¡Y duró más de media hora!! –
- Vaya, alguien debería ayudarle a definir a Weasley lo que significa poco tiempo – comento su compañero sonriendo divertido – Bueno, mi día no fue tan emocionante, su esposa trabaja en leyes para el Ministerio, y se la paso haciendo tratados y todo ese tipo de cosas aburridas; No salió del Ministerio hasta hace apenas unas dos horas –
- Pues si quieres algo de acción Matt, con gusto aceptare cambiar de lugar contigo y seguir a la esposa de Weasley – le propuso Parker mientras subía las ramas junto a su compañero.
- Jajaja, no estoy tan idiota como para aceptar eso – repuso Matt guiñándole un ojo mientras regresaba su mirada a la casa que se encontraba en la cera de enfrente – Supongo entonces que durante todo el tiempo que lo seguiste no menciono nada de Potter¿O si? –
- No – respondió negando levemente con la cabeza mientras dirigía la vista a la casa de los Weasley – Pensé que Potter estaría trabajando en lo mismo que su amigo, a final de cuentas, se corría el rumor de que sería Auror cuando saliera de Hogwarts... –
- Si, pero si fuera Auror, en este o en cualquier Ministerio Mágico del mundo, no podría pasar desapercibido, y habríamos podido encontrarlo con mayor facilidad – le recordó Matt sin apartar la vista de la casa.
- De alguna forma comienzo a pensar que quizás Potter no esta aquí en Alemania... Los antecedentes marcaban que lo más seguro era que estuviera viviendo con sus amigos, y eso tampoco es verdad... No lo se, quizás se mantienen en contacto con él de alguna forma, y Potter vive alejado de la civilización como un ermitaño... – comento, poniendo en palabras los pensamientos que durante todo el día le habían estado dando vueltas en la cabeza.
- No lo creo – objetó Matt – Apenas hoy en la mañana comenzamos la investigación, es muy pronto para dar un veredicto de ese tipo, además, todavía hay posibilidades de que los reportes que nos pasaron sean ciertos, y Potter halla decidido abandonar la Comunidad Mágica para irse a vivir al Mundo Muggle, tan sólo ve a sus amigos, ellos viven en una zona cien por ciento Muggle –
- Si, creo que tienes razón – admitió Parker, y luego contemplo la casa con amargura – Sólo espero que hagan contacto con él pronto, o no creo sobrevivir al ritmo de vida de ese loco pelirrojo –
- Lo mismo pensaría yo en tu caso – comento Matt divertido, y con una sacudida elegante de su varita, aparecieron unas orejeras que se puso de inmediato.
Parker le imito, y cuando ambos tuvieron puestas las orejeras, se pusieron de nuevo el hechizo desilusionador para que nadie los pudiera ver mientras continuaban con su trabajo, escuchando gracias a aquellas orejeras, lo que pasaba en el interior de la casa.
* * *
Ya había terminado las cosas que tenía por hacer, pero no se fue a su casa, permaneció en su oficina contemplando la chimenea, deseando que aquel hombre apareciera y le dijera que ya sabían donde se encontraba Harry.
Cerro los ojos y se recargo contra el respaldo de su silla. Aún cuando encontraran a Harry en aquel momento, sabía muy bien que el pelinegro debía odiarlo por haberlo lastimado, pero tenía sus motivos, y Harry debía escucharlo, porque si no lo hacía, perdería la poca cordura que ya le quedaba.
- ¿Cuánto tiempo a pasado? – se pregunto a si mismo, y su voz resonó en el silencio de su elegante y frió despacho.
Habían pasado más de nueve años desde que el gran Harry Potter desapareciera del Mundo Mágico sin que nadie supiera de su paradero, y después de buscarlo durante más de un año sin resultados, se trago su orgullo y se dirigió hacía La Madriguera, porque si había alguien en el mundo que podía saber donde se encontraba Harry, esa era la familia Weasley. Esta por demás decir que no fue bien recibido en aquella casa como antaño, y que sólo Arthur Weasley evito que el resto de la familia lo moliera a maldiciones, sin embargo, se negó lo más amablemente que pudo, a decirle el paradero de Harry, y sin darle tiempo a hacer más preguntas o humillarse demasiado, le cerro la puerta en las narices. Con el tiempo, supo que Granger y Weasley se habían ido con él, lo que de alguna manera le daba la seguridad de saber que no estaría solo, pero aquello no mitigaba su desesperación por saber algo más sobre él.
Su familia y los pocos amigos que tenía, intentaron hacer que olvidara al Gryffindor, pero él no deseaba olvidarlo, quería encontrarlo y estar a su lado, porque la vida no tenía sentido si Harry no estaba a su lado, y ahora comprendía el terrible error que había cometido al alejarlo, aún y cuando en aquel momento pensó que era lo correcto.
Cuando vio a Granger en el Ministerio, al principio se negó a creerlo, su trastornada mente debía de estarle gastando una cruel broma, pero no pudo quedarse con la duda, debía saber si en verdad era ella, porque en donde estaba uno, regularmente también estaban las otras dos partes de Trío Dorado, y eso podría significar que Harry anduviera por ahí, aunque lo duda mucho, el moreno jamás pasaría desapercibido en aquel lugar.
Saber que sí era Granger, renovó las esperanzas casi agonizantes del rubio, y aunque la chica se negó a decirle nada de Harry, su presencia le dio la pauta para saber donde buscar, y con renovadas esperanzas, comenzó una nueva búsqueda, diciéndose a si mismo que sin importar nada, recuperaría a Harry, porque algo muy en el fondo de su corazón le decía que ellos habían sido hechos el uno para el otro, aún y cuando en el pasado no hubiera creído en ese tipo de cosas.
Pero no había sido así de sencillo, porque durante todo el día, había tenido millones de dudas, y una de ellas, la que más le abrazaba el corazón hundiéndolo en una desesperante tristeza¿Qué pasaría si Harry ya había rehecho su vida?, él no podía llegar y destruir la vida del moreno así como así por más enamorado que estuviera, pero no podía olvidar las palabras de Granger antes de abandonar la oficina¿Acaso a eso se había referido¿Acaso había querido decirle que él ya había rehecho su vida y que su presencia sólo lo lastimaría de nuevo?
Era cierto que no quería causarle más sufrimiento al moreno¿Pero que había de él?, el también sufría, y sufriría si no hacía algo al respecto¿Acaso no merecía la oportunidad de explicarse, de ser escuchado?, sabía el daño que había causado, había visto el dolor en las orbes verdes, el corazón del Gryffindor rompiéndose lentamente en millones de fragmentos, y aquella imagen le había atormentado durante los casi diez años que siguieron, negándole un sueño tranquilo, porque apenas cerraba los ojos, y aquella imagen asaltaba su mente con tal intensidad, que durante el resto de la noche era incapaz de conjurar el sueño.
Durante noches enteras grito y lloro en la oscuridad de su habitación, porque no sólo había destruido a Harry, también se había destruido a si mimo aquella noche...
- Te encontrare Harry, y si es necesario, me ganare de nuevo tu corazón – prometió a la penumbra de su despacho, abriendo los ojos mientras una sonrisa cargada de tristeza surcaba sus pálidos labios.
* * *
- Ron, es hora de levantarte, en veinte minutos llegara Harry y prometiste estar listo para acompañarlo a ver el campamento – le recordó Hermione desde la puerta de la habitación, observando al pelirrojo que se removió ligeramente, cubierto hasta la cabeza con las cálidas cobijas.
- Si... Ya mero... Ya me visto... – murmuro Ron, y con pereza, saco la cabeza de entre las cobijas.
- Y será mejor que te pongas algo abrigador porque esta haciendo bastante frió – le sugirió Hermione.
- Es Alemania, aquí siempre hace un frió del demonio cuando estamos en invierno – repuso Ron a modo de queja mientras se levantaba de la cama.
Llevaba únicamente unos boxers negros, así que Hermione pudo contemplarlo sin problemas. Desde hace años que Ron casi había alcanzado los dos metros de altura, y el entrenamiento para Aurores le había marcado los músculos de todo el cuerpo, lo que ocasionaba que cuando Ron se enojaba o se ponía demasiado serio, pareciera una figura en verdad amenazante, para suerte de sus conocidos, eso sólo lo empleaba durante las horas de trabajo, además, era muy raro ver al pelirrojo molesto por algo, a menos que ese algo tuviera por nombre Draco Malfoy. El pelo lo llevaba corto, y a aquellas horas de la mañana, se encontraba completamente desordenado, lo que en conjunto con aquella sombra de barba que comenzaba a salirle, y con aquellos pantalones negros que se acababa de poner, le daba un aire endemoniadamente sexy.
Sonrió divertida, y estaba por decir algo, cuando el timbre la interrumpió.
- No puede ser Harry¿Verdad? – le pregunto el pelirrojo observándola angustiado – Dijiste que aún faltaban veinte minutos para la hora en la que habíamos quedado –
- Quizás llevó a Ethan más temprano – inquirió la castaña encogiéndose de hombros, y dirigiéndole una última mirada a su esposo, salió rumbo a las escaleras.
Apurado, Ron se puso la camisa de manga larga y cuello alto de color azul oscuro que Hermione le había regalado, y sin perder el tiempo, busco en el cajón de su buró un par de calcetines negros que se apresuro a ponerse, para después, buscar en el closet sus tenis.
Hoy no trabajaba, así que no tenía pensado vestirse formal, y mientras se abrochaba las agujetas, escucho la puerta de la calle abrirse.
Cuando por fin estuvo vestido, agarro una de las chamarras del closet y bajo las escaleras; Podía escuchar las voces de Harry y Hermione en el comedor, así que se dirigió hacía allí, encontrando a ambos sentados a la larga mesa de 6, desayunando huevos, jugo de naranja y pan tostado con mantequilla.
- Buenos días, Ron – le saludo Harry en cuanto el pelirrojo se detuvo en la puerta del comedor, y aquel ni se inmuto al ver que su amigo le estaba dando la espalda a la puerta mientras desayunaba tranquilamente, pues durante la guerra, el moreno había adquirido diversas habilidades, y entre ellas se encontraba la de sentir la presencia de la gente que se encontraba cercas, muy útil por si alguien deseaba tenderle una trampa o emboscarlo.
- Buenos días, Harry – respondió al saludo mientras entraba, y colgando la chamarra en el respaldo de la silla que estaba en la cabecera de la mesa al lado de su esposa y su amigo, se sentó.
Hermione se levanto, y tomando el plato que estaba frente al pelirrojo, se dispuso a servirle el desayuno.
- Harry me estaba diciendo que Aidan le mando a llamar temprano, así que aprovecho para llevar de una vez a Ethan, y como le sobro algo de tiempo, vino a desayunar – comento la castaña, y dejo el plato servido frente al pelirrojo, para servirle jugo de naranja.
- Gracias – le dijo Ron a su esposa, y después se volvió hacía su amigo - ¿Y que quería Aidan tan temprano? –
- Sólo quería hablar de uno de los cuadros que le había llevado hace una semana, y como la exposición se acerca, quiere arreglar cualquier detalle para que todo sea perfecto – le respondió Harry, y después le dio una mordida a su pan.
* * *
- Creo que antes de dar cualquier aviso, deberíamos saber en donde se aloja Potter, y entonces ya podremos dar parte a nuestro jefe – comento Parker, aún bajo el encantamiento desilusionador.
- Como quieras – accedió Matt sin prestarle demasiada atención, y bajo el mismo conjuro que su amigo, observaba fascinado el Porsche GT convertible color negro en el que Harry había llegado – Demonios, debe ser asquerosamente rico como para poder darse el lujo de comprar un carro como ese – no pudo evitar comentar - ¿Sabes cuanto cuesta ese maldito carro? –
- No, no lo se, y no... – pero su compañero no le dejo terminar.
- ¡¡¡Cuesta más de 400.000 euros!!! – exclamo – No puedo esperar a ver su casa, de seguro es una mansión... –
- Y yo creo que estas siendo demasiado exagerado – comento Parker – Que tenga un auto tan costoso y bonito como ese, no significa que tenga una mansión –
- Yo quisiera un carro como ese – siguió Matt sin dar muestras de haber escuchado a su compañero – Ya después le preguntare en que trabaja y si hay plazas disponibles –
- Estas loco – fue lo único que se limito a decir, y siguió observando la casa en espera de que Potter volviera a salir.
* * *
- Bueno, ya nos vamos – se despidió Ron dándole un beso en la boca a Hermione.
- Que les vaya bien – les despidió la castaña acompañándolos a la puerta mientras ambos chicos se ponían las chamarras.
- ¿Y tu no trabajaras? – le pregunto Harry dándole un beso en la mejilla a modo de despedida.
- No, hoy descansare – le respondió Hermione sonriéndole – Así que en cuanto acaben de hacer eso, pueden venir a comer acá –
- Bueno, en ese caso intentaremos no tardarnos – le informo Ron, y mientras abría la puerta se volvió hacía su amigo - ¿En tu carro o en el mío? –
- En el mío para que no saques el tuyo del garaje – respondió Harry, y salió junto con el pelirrojo en dirección al auto negro que estaba estacionado fuera de la casa.
Hermione se detuvo en la puerta y contemplo a Harry y a Ron alejarse hacía el auto.
Al lado de Ron, Harry se veía bajito, pero no lo era, media 1.80, y a ella le sacaba casi quince centímetros. También tenía los músculos ligeramente marcados, y un cuerpo de infarto, aunque lo ocultaba tras las vestimentas holgadas que usaba la mayor parte del tiempo; Durante años se pregunto cómo era posible que su amigo tuviera ese cuerpazo si llevaba una vida sedentaria, y una tarde que paso con Ethan, éste le comento que durante las mañana, él y Harry salían a correr y hacer ejercicio.
El paso del tiempo había hecho madurar a Harry, y aunque tenía 27 años, su aspecto era el de un joven de 24; Sólo la ligera capita de barba que le cubría la barbilla y la parte superior de la boca, que se había dejado crecer a petición de Ethan, le daban el aspecto de un hombre maduro de 27 o 28 años, que junto con el cabello desastrosamente revuelto, le hacía lucir bastante sexy, además, si era sincera, Harry tenía un trasero que era imposible ignorar.
- _"Si Malfoy lo viera, estoy segura de que pondría cara de idiota"_ – pensó con una sonrisa burlona, y sacudiendo la mano a modo de despedida, vio a Ron y Harry alejarse en el auto de su amigo.
Le hubiera gustado hablar del brillo que hacía resplandecer las verdes orbes del moreno, pero desde lo sucedido con Malfoy, aquellos ojos se habían opacado considerablemente, y aún cuando sonreía con autentica alegría, la tristeza no desaparecía.
* * *
**_Listo!!!_**
Bueno, aquí esta la siguiente actualizacion antes de fin de año n.n Espero poder actualizar antes de que entre a clases en febrero, o ya después me costara algo de trabajo :P Igual haré todo lo que pueda, ya que ustedes se merecen el esfuerzo n.n
Ahora pasaremos a una NOTA IMPORTANTE xD: Hace mucho comence a escribir una historia en conjunto con Aya Katze, y si hay por aquí alguien que siga esta historia, quería avisarles que ya la hemos retomado :o No habíamos podido continuarla porque nuestros tiempos no se daban, y como es una historia en conjunto, debíamos hablarlo :P **_Es una historia que yo les recomiendo ampliamente, y que decidi escribir junto a ella, porque me gusta mucho el como escribe, y su forma de plantear las cosas, algo que en conjunto con mi forma de escribir y pensar, ha hecho este milagrito llamado: Al Final No Todo Cambia xD_**
Pero bueno, como sabran, una historia no es nada sin sus fieles lectores, y aquí es donde ustedes entran y mi promoción de este Finc :P, porque es gracias a sus comentarios y opiniones, que nosotros nos damos una idea de cuanto les gusta y como perciben la historia n.n Hasta ahora sólo esta el tercer capitulo (Yo escribi el primero, Aya el segundo, y yo el tercero xD), pero Aya ya se esta encargando del cuarto apitulo
**_Espero que puedan hecharse una vueltita para leerlo, y que si tienen una oportunidad, nos dejen su opinión para saber lo que piensan n.n_**
Tampoco olviden dejarme comentario aquí, que ya saben que yo trabajo para ustedes, y mi único beneficio son sus comentarios n.n
Bueno, yo ya cumpli mi parte, ahora sólo me queda agradecerles por seguir mi historia y darme animos para continuarla n.n Espero que pasen una FELIZ NAVIDAD, Y UN PROSPERO AÑO NUEVO!!! --Lilit Yuu se despide con una reverencia hacia sus lectores-- Gracias!!! n.n
3. CAPITULO 3
**Capitulo 3**
El auto se detuvo con suavidad en el aparcamiento correspondiente, y en cuanto se apago, la puerta del copiloto se abrió, dando paso a un pelirrojo que se arrebujaba en la gruesa chamarra que llevaba puesta.
- Demonios, hace demasiado frió – se quejo mientras Harry salía también del auto.
- Un poco – concedió el moreno, y tras poner la alarma del auto, se encamino hacía donde se podían ver unas cabañas de madera.
- ¡¿Un poco?!, de seguro estamos a menos 15 grados – refutó el pelirrojo mientras seguía a su amigo - ¿Acaso quieres que Ethan muera congelado? -
- Ron, es normal que haga ese tipo de frió – repuso Harry sonriendo divertido – Estamos en un bosque al aire libre, y a algunos metros hay un lago, pero descuida, no quiero que Ethan muera congelado, para cuando él venga, el tiempo será más agradable –
- Aún así hace demasiado frío – repuso el pelirrojo, y hasta entonces se percato de que sólo él mostraba señas de tener frió, Harry caminaba como si nada, con una sonrisa divertida en los labios, que dio a Ron desconfianza - ¿Acaso no tienes frió, Harry? – le pregunto observándolo con detenimiento, y vio que la sonrisa se ensancho más en el rostro del moreno.
- Ser mago tiene sus ventajas, Ron – fue todo lo que se limito a contestarle, mientras con un gesto cómplice, le guiño el ojo.
- Debí imaginarlo – mascullo Ron, y metió la mano al interior de su chamarra en donde guardaba la varita.
Harry sólo sonrió, sintiendo el hechizo de Ron desplazarse silenciosamente sobre el pelirrojo.
* * *
No se había despegado de la chimenea de su despacho durante toda la noche, aún cuando sabía que lo mejor sería ir a dormir a la cama de su casa, sin embargo, se limito a dormir en el cómodo sillón de piel negra que tenía junto a la pequeña biblioteca de su despacho, esperando que el detective se pusiera en contacto con él.
Cuando despertó, se dirigió a su casa para cambiarse y bañarse, y en cuanto termino, regreso al despacho para seguir con su trabajo, y a la vez, esperar a que el detective se pusiera en contacto.
- _"A final de cuentas, apenas ayer comenzaron la investigación, es lógico que todavía no tengan información sobre Harry"_ – pensó, y sin embargo, pudo sentir la amargura de aquel pensamiento.
* * *
Los habían estado siguiendo durante el transcurso hacía aquel campamento, en donde para llegar, habían hecho poco más de dos horas, tiempo que Matt aprovecho para quejarse de que Harry y Ron prefiriesen usar un auto que era más lento, que la Aparición.
Como durante el transcurso al campamento, el moreno y el pelirrojo habían estado hablando de puras tonterías, Matt y Parker habían decidido quitarse las orejeras mágicas, y cuando llegaron a su destino, esperaron a cierta distancia a que ambos magos se desocuparan, cosa que tardo cercas de dos horas más.
Al salir de la administración del campamento, Harry y Ron emprendieron el camino de regreso, lo que les llevo de nuevo poco más de dos horas, y tiempo en el que Matt siguió aprovechando para quejarse de lo lentos que eran los autos, y de lo cómoda y rápida que era la Aparición; Cuando llegaron a la ciudad de Hamburgo, no se dirigieron hacía la casa del pelirrojo, que quedaba hacía del centro de la capital, sino un poco más al norte, deteniéndose en el galpón de una casa de dos pisos, que tan sólo por el amplio patio delantero, y la acogedora fachada rustica, se veía que era lo suficientemente espaciosa.
- Así que aquí es donde vive el Salvador del Mundo Mágico, el Famoso Harry Potter – comento Parker, observando la casa con ojo critico.
Se habían mantenido a una distancia prudente, y ayudados por los hechizos Desilusionadores, se mantenían lejos de miradas indiscretas.
- Esta no puede ser su casa – repuso Matt con desilusión – Un carro tan chido como ese, necesita por lo menos una mansión –
- Te dije que no tendría una mansión – le recordó Parker – Sin embargo, su casa es muy bonita y amplia¿Crees que tenga familia? –
- Pues ese Ethan debe ser algo muy cercano – comento Matt – Porque durante todo el tiempo que hemos estado aquí, sólo he escuchado a Weasley y su esposa hablar de él cuando nombran a Potter, aunque yo preferiría que no tuviera a nadie, así podría tener alguna oportunidad con él –
- Estas enfermo – repuso Parker – En fin, ya es hora de regresar, tenemos la dirección de Potter y una orden expresa de regresar a informar en cuanto tengamos los datos que ya hemos reunido, andando – y Matt escucho el suave "Pop" que indicaba que su compañero ya se había marchado.
- Bien, espero que Potter no tenga a nadie, y si ya lo tiene, siempre puede dejarlo – comento dirigiendo una ultima mirada a la casa en la que el pelirrojo y el moreno se habían adentrado en cuanto estacionaron el auto, y con una sonrisa maliciosa que nadie vio, desapareció con un suave "Pop", prometiéndose regresar en cuanto hubiera alguna oportunidad, porque ese era el tipo de partido que no podía dejar pasar por nada del mundo.
* * *
El chisporroteo de la chimenea le hizo pegar un salto de su cómoda silla, esparciendo en el acto, los papeles sobre los que había estado trabajando, pero no le importo, y con paso apresurado, se dirigió hacía la chimenea para permitir el paso a quien se estaba intentando comunicar.
- Adelante – ordeno, y alejándose un poco por si las dudas, vio al hombre bajito aparecer dentro de la chimenea, aunque con un equilibrio precario que termino haciéndolo caer de bruces sobre el suelo alfombrado de su despacho.
- Ouch... – se quejo, y mientras se levantaba lo más rápido que podía, observó al imponente hombre con un ligero sonrojo en sus abultadas mejillas morenas, al tiempo que comenzaba a sacudirse el polvo de la capa negra que llevaba en aquella ocasión – Buenas tardes, señor Malfoy –
- Buenas tardes – saludo Draco lo más amablemente que pudo, intentando reprimir aquellas ganas que le hacían preguntar de una vez por todas si habían conseguido encontrar a Harry, y el lugar a donde podría ir a buscarlo.
- Tal y como nos pidió, he venido a informarle que la búsqueda a concluido exitosamente – le comunico el hombre sonriendo orgullo mientras sacaba una carpeta de entre los pliegues de su túnica – El señor Potter fue encontrado residiendo en una Zona Muggle de la ciudad de Hamburgo en Alemania, y aunque no vive con sus amigos de infancia, sigue en contacto continuo con ellos. El señor Weasley y su esposa si trabajan en el Ministerio Alemán, pero debido a que usted nos ordeno informarle en cuanto tuviéramos el paradero de el señor Harry Potter, no pudimos averiguar en que trabaja –
- Cuando dice esposa¿Se refiere a la señorita Granger? – pregunto Draco, sin estar muy seguro de ello.
- Así es – confirmo el hombre.
- Vaya, así que la comadreja se caso con la sabelotodo – comento, y el hombre intuyo con acierto, que aquello era algo que el rubio estaba diciendo para sí mismo – Muy bien¿En donde esta la dirección exacta del domicilio de Harry? –
- Aquí esta, señor Malfoy – respondió de inmediato, extendiendo la carpeta hacía Draco.
- Correcto – murmuro mientras se acercaba al escritorio, y tras escribir algo en un cheque, regreso y se lo entrego al hombre – Esto cierra nuestro trato –
- Por supuesto – comento el hombre observando la cantidad que había escrita, para después sonreírle al rubio agradecido – Ha sido un placer trabajar para usted – y después, desapareció nuevamente por la chimenea.
Una vez que se encontró solo, Draco se apresuro a sentarse en la silla tras su escritorio. Se sentía muy nervioso, y con las manos temblándole, abrió el sobre. Le bastaron unos cuantos segundos para leer la dirección, y aunque había estado en Alemania en algunas ocasiones por cuestiones de trabajo, sabía que necesitaría ayuda para poder dar con el lugar.
Aún así, no estaba dispuesto a perder más tiempo, y después de doblar la hoja cuidadosamente, para guardarla en su saco, desapareció en dirección al Ministerio, para desde ahí, dirigirse al Ministerio Alemán; Una vez ahí, encontrar alguien que le orientara debía ser pan comido.
* * *
Tal y como había pensado, encontrar a alguien que le ayudara fue pan comido, y sobre un Rolls Royce con chofer que el Ministerio Alemán le había facilitado, se dirigía hacía la dirección que el detective le había entregado.
Muy en el fondo agradecía haber aprendido Alemán cuando era más joven, pues de otra forma, pedir un medio de transporte le habría sido de lo más complicado, aunque también sabía que no le habían negado el coche, por las influencias que tenía en aquélla ciudad.
Lo único malo de todo aquello, era el maldito frió que hacía, sobre todo si se tenía en cuenta que el invierno se acercaba, y Alemania nunca había sido famosa por sus días calurosos durante invierno, así que agradecía ser mago y poder hacer hechizos que mantuvieran su calor corporal, al igual que aquel conjuro que mantenía una temperatura cálida dentro del Ministerio y de aquel auto.
- _"Aunque sigo sin entender por qué, de todos los lugares cálidos en el mundo, Harry tuvo que escoger precisamente uno de los más gélidos" _– pensó con fastidio, mientras por la ventanilla del auto, observaba las solitarias calles.
De pronto, el auto se detuvo frente a una de las muchas casas en donde sobre la acera del garaje, se encontraba estacionado un costoso Porsche GT de color negro.
- Hemos llegado – le anuncio el conductor con un fuerte acento Alemán, y Draco pudo sentir un fuerte retortijón en el estomago.
- Gracias – le respondió en el mismo idioma que el chofer, pero sin el acento - Ya puede retirarse, de aquí regresare al Ministerio con ayuda de la Aparición –
El chofer se limito a asentir con la cabeza, y cuando Draco bajo del auto, éste se alejo hacía el Ministerio.
Por primera vez, el rubio dirigió su vista hacía la casa, y un hueco se formo en su estomago mientras observaba cada detalle de la misma. Era de dos pisos, y por el amplio patio delantero, supo que era lo suficientemente espaciosa, además, la fachada rustica pero elegante, la distinguía del resto de las demás casas. Con algo de congoja, pudo percibir el aire acogedor que envolvería la casa pese al frió del ambiente. También había un extraño cochecito rojo tumbado sobre el pasto, lo que por su tamaño le dio cierta desconfianza, pues parecía algo que un niño usaría. Después de observarlo detenidamente, lo reconoció como una bicicleta, pues tenía mucho parecido con una imagen que hace muchos años había visto en una de las fotos de infancia de Harry; _"Es una bicicleta"_ le había dicho el moreno sonriendo ante su cara de confusión _"Hay de diferentes tamaños para que la puedan usar tanto los Muggles adultos como los niños, y esa era de mi primo"_. No siguió preguntando, aquel medio de transporte se le hacía tan tonto, como todo lo que los Muggles usaban, aunque más tonto le parecía que también los adultos lo usaran.
- Demonios – mascullo al notar el nerviosismo que le invadía, pero ya estaba ahí y no pensaba darse la vuelta, le había costado cercas de diez años dar con Harry, no se rendiría justo ahora, sólo por sentirse ligeramente inseguro.
Con paso lento, siguió el caminito de cemento que atravesaba el jardín hacía la puerta, y al llegar al pórtico, respiro profundamente intentando calmarse, mientras su mirada se perdía por algunos segundos en la puerta de madera negra que le confería cierto porte elegante.
Cuando logro tranquilizar un poco sus nervios, estiro la mano y presiono al timbre, combatiendo con las ganas que sentía por echar a correr antes de que quien fuera, abriera la puerta, para su suerte o desgracia, la puerta no tardo mucho en abrirse, he inconscientemente, dio un paso hacía atrás, intentando prepararse para lo que vendría a continuación...
* * *
**_Yey! Ya estoy de vuelta, y con un nuevo capitulo que espero sea de su agrado! n.n_**
**_Es algo corto porque así tenía que ser para que no se viera demasiado amontonado, pero espero que les guste n.n_**
**_Saludos y gracias por sus comentarios:o_**
4. CAPITULO 4
**Capitulo 4:**
- Ya era hora de que... – el resto de la frase murió en la boca de Harry en cuando abrió la puerta.
Una parte de su cerebro había reconocido a aquel hombre parado frente a él, pero otra parte se negaba a creer que en realidad fuera Draco Malfoy, y sin atinar a hacer o decir algo, permaneció de pie, contemplando atónito, al hombre rubio que durante largo tiempo había amado...
Draco también se sentía asombrado y bastante nervioso, pero no dudo en aprovechar aquel momento de estupor, para poder examinar la apariencia del moreno. Había crecido bastante durante el transcurso de aquellos años, pero por instinto supo que seguía siendo más alto que Harry, quien llevaba puesta una camisa blanca tipo polo que se ajustaba ligeramente a sus bien formados músculos, junto con un pantalón negro que estilizaba su figura dándole un aspecto elegantemente informal. El cabello seguía tan desastroso como siempre, confiriéndole aquel aire de rebeldía, que junto con la barbilla que se estaba dejando crecer, le daba el aspecto de un atractivo hombre maduro. El brillo de sus verdes ojos siempre había sido otra de sus características, algo que a él le enloquecía, pero con el corazón encogido, Draco pudo ver que ya no poseían aquel brillo hipnotizante, y que poco a poco comenzaban a empañarse a causa del dolor.
- Harry... – murmuro intentando hacer algo para impedir que el dolor cubriese por completo aquellos ojos.
- Vete – le pidió el moreno en un susurro, y apartando por fin la mirada de las grises orbes, comenzó a cerrar la puerta lentamente.
- ¡No, por favor! – le rogó Draco deteniendo la puerta, ignorando aquélla voz que le decía que _"Un Malfoy jamás rogaba"_. En esta ocasión no dejaría que el orgullo se antepusiera al amor que sentía por el moreno.
- ¿Ya llego Ethan? – pregunto una voz desde el interior de la casa, y con acierto, Draco supo que aquella debería ser la voz de Weasley.
Más nervioso ahora, Harry dirigió su mirada al interior de la casa, justo en el momento en el que Ron se asomaba para saber porque su amigo no le había respondido.
Los azules ojos del pelirrojo se posaron primero en Harry y después en Draco, en quien se detuvieron durante algunos segundos más antes de reconocerlo.
- ¡Tú...! – murmuro de manera amenazante mientras se acercaba a la puerta, y Draco pudo ver los azules ojos oscureciéndose a causa de la rabia. Al punto se alejo de la puerta, no que le tuviera miedo, pero una cosa era rogarle a Harry, y otra mus distinta, humillarse frente a la comadreja.
- Malfoy ya se iba, Ron – intervino Harry, sintiendo ondular la mágia de su amigo de manera alarmante, cosa que también comenzaba a hacer la mágia de Draco, sólo que de manera mucho más controlada.
- Pues que se vaya ahora mismo – ordeno el pelirrojo sin apartar los ojos de Draco, quien le sostuvo la mirada con altanera frialdad.
- No me iré de aquí hasta que hable con Harry – repuso con tranquila frialdad, pero sosteniendo la mirada de Weasley sin dejarse intimidar. La comadreja necesitaría algo más que eso para hacerlo desistir.
- Tú no tienes nada que hablar con Harry – le espetó Ron, haciendo vanos esfuerzos por contener la furia que sentía, cosa que era muy difícil cuando desde hace años había deseado partirle el rostro a Malfoy, y ahora éste se le ponía en frente.
- Eso es algo entre Harry y yo, comadreja – bien, ese era todo el incentivo que necesitaba Ron, y sin que ninguno de los otros dos pudiera preverlo, se lanzo sobre Draco, quien tomado por sorpresa, trastabillo los escalones del zaguán y cayó de espaldas sobre el duro camino de cemento.
Sintió su nuca golpear con fuerza contra el suelo, pero no tuvo tiempo de protestar, porque al instante, unas manos se cerraron sobre su garganta impidiéndole respirar, y como los ojos se le habían empañado con lagrimas a causa del golpe, lo único que podía ver era una cabellera pelirroja sobre él.
- ¡Basta ya! – ordeno Harry saliendo al jardín, pero no intento separarlos, conocía de sobra la fuerza de su amigo y la suya propia, así que volviendo la vista hacía ambos lados para cerciorarse de que nadie observaba, saco su varita - _¡Impedimenta!_ – exclamo, y ambos magos fueron separados por el conjuro - ¡Por Merlín, no van a pelear frente a mi casa, compórtense como dos magos civilizados! –
- Es verdad, somos magos, arreglemos esto como tales – comento Ron, y al punto, se paro con la varita firmemente sujeta.
Draco, que aún intentaba recobrar por completo la respiración, también se levanto sujetando firmemente su varita.
- ¡¿Acaso han perdido la cabeza?! – protesto Harry - ¡Si algún Muggle los ve usando mágia, se meterán en serios problemas! –
- Es un riesgo que estoy dispuesto a correr – repuso Ron testarudo.
- ¡Deja de decir idioteces, Ron¿Tienes una idea de cómo se pondrá Hermione si se entera de que quieres usar mágia sin ningún tipo de precaución?, en el Ministerio te suspenderían! – intento hacerlo entrar en razón.
- Ya te lo dije, es un riesgo que estoy dispuesto a correr, si con eso consigo darle una paliza al hurón – replico Ron sonriendo burlón, sin despegar su vista de Draco, quien también torció la boca en una sonrisa burlona que pareció enfurecer más a Ron.
- Pues no armaran un escándalo frente a mi casa. _Expelliarmus_ – fue apenas un susurro, y su varita ni siquiera se movió, permaneció ligeramente levantada, sin embargo, las varitas de Draco y Ron salieron disparadas hacía la mano que Harry tenía libre, con una potencia que les hizo recordar que era él quien había derrotado a Voldemort hacía ya varios años.
Ron estaba apunto de protestar por aquélla injusticia, cuando un camión escolar se detuvo sonando el claxon frente a la casa.
- ¡Dios! – murmuro Harry palideciendo, y tras dirigir una mirada aprensiva a Draco, dejo caer las dos varitas y se acerco al camión mientras guardaba la suya.
Algo confundido por aquélla reacción en el moreno, Draco siguió con su mirada al Gryffindor.
Cuando las puertas del camión se abrieron, pudo ver a un pequeñín de cabellos negros y piel blanca bajar, y tras dar un rápido vistazo a su alrededor, correr a los brazos de Harry, que se puso de cuclillas para poder abrazar al niño con más cariño del que a Draco le hubiera gustado ver.
- ¡Papá, me han elegido para participar en la obra y el musical! – exclamo el pequeño, y Draco sintió su corazón encogerse de tristeza. A final de cuentas, parecía ser que Harry si había rehecho su vida...
- Me alegro mucho por ti, campeón, sabía que lo lograrías – le felicitó Harry sonriendo con verdadero orgullo, y Draco se percato de que con el niño no usaba el alemán, si no el ingles británico. La sonrisa de Harry desapareció cuando observo al rubio por sobre su hombro, y con seriedad, se volvió de nuevo hacía el pequeño – Escucha Ethan, tía Hermione nos ha invitado a su casa a comer, pero primero necesito hablar con el señor Malfoy de algunas cosas¿Qué te parece si entras a casa junto con tío Ron, y cuando acabe, nos vamos a celebrar que te han aceptado en la obra y el musical? –
Por sobre el hombro de su padre, Ethan dirigió una mirada critica al hombre rubio que estaba parado en mitad del jardín con la ropa y el cabello algo desordenados. Ese debía ser el tal señor Malfoy, porque aparte de él, sólo estaba su tío Ron, que algo alejado del otro hombre, también traía la ropa y el cabello ligeramente alborotados.
El estomago de Draco dio un vuelco, cuando aquel pequeño le miro con dos impactantes orbes grises que le observaban brillando con inocente pureza, tal como los ojos de Harry cuando entro a Hogwarts...
- Esta bien – accedió Ethan regalándole una sonrisa a su padre, y con nostalgia, Draco reconoció que aquella sonrisa era muy parecida a la de Harry: Feliz, dulce, limpia de maldad, reconfortable... Una sonrisa que el moreno le había dirigido millones de veces cuando aún estaban juntos...
- Muy bien, entonces ve con tío Ron a dejar tus cosas en la casa, y en cuando me desocupe, nos iremos a celebrar – le prometió Harry, y Draco no dejo de notar el tono cariñoso y suave con que se dirigía al niño, que asintiendo, se dirigió al pelirrojo, dirigiendo una vez más durante su trayecto, aquellas orbes grises hacía el hombre rubio.
- Buenos días, tío Ron – le saludo sonriéndole cuando llego hasta su lado.
- Buenos días compañero – respondió Ron, revolviéndole el cabello ligeramente revuelto, con un gesto cariñoso – Vamos a que prepares tus cosas y a que me cuentes como estuvieron las audiciones; Supongo que fuiste el mejor de todos¿O acaso puedo equivocarme? – y mientras Ethan le contaba emocionado, ambos se dirigieron hacía la casa.
Antes de cerrar la puerta, Ron intercambio una mirada con Harry, quien se limito a asentir comprendiendo la preocupación de su amigo.
Una vez que quedaron solos, ninguno hablo, y aunque Harry sentía sobre sí la mirada de Draco, se negó a mirarlo. No estaba muy seguro de lo que debía hacer o decir en aquel momento. Para su suerte o desgracia, Draco decidió romper el silencio por él.
- Harry, él... – no sabía muy bien que decir.
- Vete – le interrumpió Harry, negándose a sostenerle la mirada, pero sobretodo, a escuchar lo que tuviera que decirle.
- No – respondió con firmeza, aunque eso era lo único que no sentía en aquellos momentos – Vine aquí para explicarte lo que paso aquélla noche y... –
- Por favor Draco, vete – le pidió Harry en un susurro, y esta vez, las verdes orbes enfrentaron a las grises con un brillo de dolor que desde años habían atormentado el sueño del rubio – Lo que teníamos que hablar, lo hablamos aquella noche, no hay nada más por decir, además... –
- Si, me he dado cuenta de que has vuelto a rehacer tu vida, pero necesitaba venir, y necesito que me escuches... – intento explicarle Draco, sintiendo la desesperación comenzando a tomar control de él.
- ¿Y porque ahora? – quiso saber Harry.
- Por que antes no creí prudente hacer contacto contigo – le respondió Draco con nerviosismo – Me había enterado que tu salud era delicada, y creí que mi presencia sólo te alteraría... –
Era verdad, después de la batalla contra Voldemort, Harry había permanecido en San Mungo por poco más de tres meses hasta que estuvo estable y pudo regresar a casa, eso si, con millones de indicaciones por parte de los Sanadores…
- Tardaste mucho, y no estoy seguro de querer escuchar tus excusas – objetó Harry, hablando con un tono frió y distante que hizo que el estomago de Draco se oprimiera dolorosamente.
- Por favor Harry, en verdad necesito que me escuches… - le suplico, sintiendo su orgullo retorcerse, pero haciendo caso omiso; Ya había tomado una decisión al respecto.
Harry le observo durante algunos segundos con una mirada que Draco no supo como interpretar, y que le hacía sentir mucho más miserable.
- Se parece mucho a ti – comento de pronto, sin saber muy bien que más decir, pero negándose a irse de ahí.
- Draco... – le advirtió Harry apartando la mirada, negándose a formar parte de aquello. Ya había sufrido suficiente a causa de él, y se negaba a revivir de nuevo aquellos dolorosos recuerdos que había enterrado hasta el fondo de su corazón...
- Tiene el mismo cabello negro, pero menos desordenado – sigo, sin saber porque hacía mención a algo que le lastimaba de aquella forma – Pero no tiene tus mismos ojos, si el mismo brillo inocente y alegre, pero no el mismo color... ¿Es el color de los ojos de su madre¿Cuántos años tiene? –
- ¡Basta, Draco! – le pidió Harry cerrando los ojos desesperado, negándose a escuchar aquellas preguntas que se clavaban en su pecho tan dolorosamente, sobre todo cuando venían de su parte.
- La piel también es un poco más clara que la tuya... – continuo, preguntándose acaso si se había vuelto un masoquista – Supongo que debe ir en preescolar... ¿En donde esta su madre? –
- ¡Su madre esta muerta! – le grito Harry mirándole furioso, y antes de que el rubio lograra reaccionar, se acerco a él tomándolo por el cuello de la camisa, enfrentando las grises orbes, con un brillo furioso que obligo a Draco a dar algunos pasos hacía atrás – ¡No quiero más preguntas estúpidas, lárgate Malfoy¡No entiendo porque regresas ahora después de que fuiste tú mismo el que me alejo¡No te quiero cercas ni de mi hijo ni de mi! –
- Lo siento, no pretendía hacerte enojar – se disculpo Draco, sabiendo que quizás había hecho una pregunta demasiado dolorosa para el moreno, y eso le dolió, pero tampoco se engañaba, una parte de él, algo más cínica y fría, no dejaba de decirle: _"Si ya no hay compromiso alguno que lo ate, aún tengo alguna oportunidad..."_ – Sólo quiero que me escuches, y no me iré de aquí hasta que lo hagas –
- ¡Lárgate! – le grito Harry empujándolo para alejarlo de él.
- Ya dije que no, Harry, no hasta que me escuches – repuso Draco intentando mantenerse impasible y en perfecto control de sus emociones, cosa que le estaba causando un verdadero esfuerzo – Y si te niegas a escucharme, me veras por aquí más seguido de lo que puedes creer –
- ¡Estas loco! – masculló, llevándose ambas manos a la cabeza con desesperación – Te lo advierto Draco, no quiero verte por aquí, tú tomaste una decisión en su momento, y mi decisión en este momento es que no quiero verte, ya no me gustas, ya no te quiero, aprende a vivir con eso como yo aprendí a vivir con lo que me dijiste aquélla noche –
Y sin más, se alejo caminando con paso fuerte hacía la casa.
- ¡No me iré Harry, no hasta que te dignes a escucharme! – le grito Draco antes del que el moreno azotara la puerta, y observando aquella casa, desapareció rumbo al Ministerio Alemán dispuesto a cumplir su promesa.
* * *
Sus pasos reverberaron en el interior de los pasillos subterráneos, pasillos fríos y solitarios, iluminados por antorchas lo suficientemente alejas unas de otras, dándole al lugar un aspecto lúgubre. En otra época de su vida, aquel lugar, combinado con el sonido de sus pasos en eco, le habría hecho sentir aprensión, pero ya no. No en vano pasan los años.
Después de algunos minutos de caminar con su elegancia acostumbrada, recorriendo interminable numero de pasillos en los que cualquier desconocido se perderían sin lograr salir nunca, se detuvo frente a una pesada puerta de hierro, y con un simple gesto de su mano, la puerta cedió, permitiéndole ver el interior de una enorme sala de juntas, dominada por una larga mesa de madera negra, que ya se encontraba ocupada por varios hombres y mujeres que pasaban con facilidad los 50.
- ¿Por qué nos has mandado llamar? – le pregunto una mujer de cabellos negros y ojos azules.
- Sí, han pasado varios años¿Qué es eso tan importante por lo que nos has hecho venir?, se que sabes que si nos encuentran organizando estas reuniones, nos enviaran a Azkaban sin darnos tiempo a defendernos – le recordó un hombre negro de ojos verdes y cabello oscuro.
- Créanme señores – les dijo mirándolos con su acostumbrada superioridad, mientras con elegancia, se adentraba para ocupar la única silla vacía a la cabeza de la larga mesa. La puerta se cerro silenciosamente tras él – El motivo por el cual les he hecho venir, en verdad valdría nuestra estancia en Azkaban –
- Sólo el Señor Tenebroso valdría nuestra estancia en Azkaban – replico una mujer pálida de cabello rojo y ojos azules.
- ¿Y que pensarías, mi querida Alilei, si te dijera que por fin he encontrado el lugar donde se oculta Harry Potter, y no sólo eso, si no que también tiene un hijo? – comento, sonriendo con suficiencia, al ver los rostros asombrados de los que rodeaban la mesa.
- ¿Cómo estas tan seguro, Lucius? – le pregunto un hombre canoso de ojos negros y piel morena – Nadie ha sabido nada del maldito Niño-Que-Vivió, después de que abandono San Mungo tras recuperarse de la batalla con Nuestro Amo –
- Se los dije después de que ese mocoso derrotara al Señor Tenebroso: Sólo era cuestión de tiempo para que mi querido Draco encontrara el lugar en donde se escondía Potter, y aunque ha pasado mucho tiempo, por fin lo ha logrado, sin saber que en el proceso, también a nosotros nos ha dado su paradero – respondió, sonriendo con petulancia, sabiendo que su descubrimiento superaba las expectativas de los ahí reunidos.
- ¿Y que se supone que haremos ahora? – le pregunto una de las mujeres – Ya no somos los mismos de antes, nuestros cuerpos han ido perdiendo la resistencia y habilidad que poseían –
- No nos hagamos tontos Emilia – replicó Lucius sonriendo con un brillo astuto en sus ojos grises como el plomo – Sabemos mejor que nadie, que la mayoría de ustedes han seguido entrenando y cultivando en sus hijos la mentalidad del orgullo por la Sangre Limpia, al igual que sabemos que sin que el Ministerio se entere, les han ayudado a perfeccionar el control de las imperdonables... Quizás no sea un gran ejercito, pero no lo necesitamos, ya que esta vez no atacaremos a Potter, es lo suficientemente fuerte para defenderse, ya lo ha demostrado con la derrota de nuestro Amo, así que nos enfocaremos en su hijo, lo raptaremos, y nos encargaremos de convertirlo en el siguiente Señor Oscuro, no debemos de olvidar que tiene la sangre de ese estúpido de Potter, por lo tanto, será lo suficientemente poderoso, y ni ese entrometido será capaz de vencerlo –
- Suena muy bien, Lucius, pero¿Cómo piensas convertirlo en nuestro Amo?, será un Sangre Mestiza, lo cual no me causa mucha gracia – protesto uno de los hombres más viejos.
- El Señor Tenebroso también era un Sangre Mestiza, pero creía en algo en lo que los demás creíamos, y si conseguimos a alguien lo suficientemente poderoso que nos ayude, entonces volverán los días de gloria para los Sangre Limpia, sin Sangre Mestiza y sin Sangre Sucia – sentencio Lucius, y después de unos segundos de cavilación, se comenzaron a escuchar aplausos de aceptación que reverberaron en el interior de la habitación, ante el regocijo de Lucius Malfoy.
* * *
**_Holas gente Bonita!!!_**
**_Pues paso por aquí para subir el siguiente capitulo y agradecer a todos por sus comentarios, que ya saben que yo me la vivo escribiendo para ustedes, y que sus opiniones son el pago a mi trabajo n.n_**
**_Saludos y gracias a todos los que me siguen!_**
5. CAPITULO 5
**Capitulo 5:**
Estaba dispuesto a cumplir su promesa, y sin otra cosa en mente, regreso al Ministerio de Mágia Alemán en busca de alguien que le ayudara a buscar una casa donde pudiera instalarse, de preferencia que quedara cercas de la de Harry, y una vez que consigo donde: Un amplio apartamento decorado exquisitamente, regreso a Londres para arreglar algunas cosas; Su empresa era una de las más poderosas de Inglaterra, como para dejarla sin la supervisión adecuada.
- Dilan, te quiero ver en mi oficina, ya – le ordeno Draco comunicándose desde la chimenea de su despacho, y al segundo siguiente, un joven de cabello castaño y ojos negros, arribaba en el elegante despacho de Draco.
- ¿En que puedo ayudarle, señor Malfoy? – pregunto con educación, haciendo una reverencia ante el hombre sentado en el escritorio frente a él.
- Tengo que salir de viaje durante algún tiempo Dilan, por lo que quiero que te hagas cargo de la coordinación de la empresa – le informo Draco con su acostumbrado tono autoritario – No se durante cuanto tiempo me mantenga fuera, pero estaré en contacto contigo para lo que se necesite, y para que me pongas al tanto de lo que suceda durante mi ausencia, al igual que para que me hagas llegar los informes que necesiten mi revisión personal. Te aviso desde ahora, que la dirección que te daré para que me localices y mandes el trabajo, no se la puedes dar a nadie bajo ninguna circunstancia, ni a mi familia ni amigos, a nadie, no importa que tan importante te digan que es, no puedes revelarle mi ubicación a nadie. Deberás cuidar esa dirección que te daré con tu propia vida, porque si descubro que alguien se enteró por este medio, no sólo te despediré – Dilan trago saliva, porque si bien había sido aquélla una clara amenaza, el tono tranquilo y frió de aquel hombre, había hecho que comprendiera a la perfección que lo que le haría, sería mucho peor que todo lo que podría estarse imaginando - ¿Has entendido? –
- Claro señor Malfoy, no se preocupe, todo estará bajo control durante su ausencia – respondió Dilan en el acto. No pregunto nada, sabía que aquel hombre no le diría más de lo que necesitara saber, y que si lo hacía, lo único que conseguiría sería quedarse sin trabajo, cosa que no podía permitirse, porque al margen del genio frió de aquel hombre, la paga y el trabajo eran bastante buenos.
- Bueno, entonces puedes retirarte – le permitió Draco – La dirección esta en esta carpeta, y ya sabes que debes cuidarla... –
- Más que a mi vida – completo la frase Dilan, y tomando la carpeta, hizo una reverencia y salió del despacho rumbo a su oficina, manteniendo la carpeta firmemente sujeta, pensando en el mejor lugar para guardar tan importante papel. Quizás lo mejor fuera quemarlo después de leerlo y aprenderlo mentalmente.
* * *
Después de estar seguro de que no olvidaba nada, tomo todos los papeles necesario y se dirigió hacía la Mansión Malfoy para recoger algunas de las cosas que se llevaría a su nueva casa.
- ¿A dónde vas, hijo¿Acaso otro viaje de negocios? – pregunto Lucius observando a cinco elfos que salían de la habitación de Draco, levitando cada uno, una enorme maleta llena de sus pertenecías.
- Algo así – respondió Draco esquivamente, siguiendo a los elfos hacía el recibidor sin ver a su padre a los ojos. No pensaba decirle a nadie lo que estaba haciendo, sabía que no lo aprobarían, quizás le dirían que por fin había perdido la cabeza e intentarían convencerlo de lo contrario, pero esta vez no dejaría que le llenaran la cabeza de tonterías, no se dejaría convencer por nadie que no sintiera lo que él sentía, por alguien completamente ajeno a sus sentimientos. Ya lo había hecho una vez y había comprobado que había sido la decisión más estúpida que había tomado, decisión que lo separo de quien en verdad le hacía feliz, decisión que lo hizo miserable por años enteros. Esta vez ya no cometería el mismo error.
- ¿Y a donde iras?, digo, si se puede saber – volvió a preguntar su padre mientras lo seguía escaleras abajo. Su voz denotaba indiferencia, pero no engañaba a Draco, no cuando había sido él quien le había enseñado a mantener aquella mascara de fría indiferencia, para no dejar entrever a los demás sus verdaderas intenciones. No, ahora le conocía demasiado bien como para dejarse engallar de nuevo.
- Haré un viaje de negocios por varias partes del mundo – le explico, manteniendo el aplomo y la seguridad que aquel hombre le había enseñado a demostrar cuando alguna intención se quiere encubrir – No se cuanto me tarde, y como estaré viajando continuamente, no puedo darles una dirección en donde puedan encontrarme. Si algo sucede, déjenle un recado a Dilan, él me lo hará llegar cuando me comunique a la empresa, ya que no pienso descuidarla –
- Ya veo – murmuro Lucius pensativo.
- Me gustaría despedirme de mi madre, pero tengo que ir todavía al despacho para arreglar algunas cosas, así que¿Podrías despedirme de ella? – le pregunto Draco en cuando arribaron a la elegante sala.
- Claro hijo – accedió Lucius sonriendo ligeramente – Yo le diré que tuviste que irte por cuestiones de trabajo. Ella entenderá –
- Gracias, padre – agradeció Draco, y tras dar un abrazo formal a su padre, tomo un puñado de Polvos Flú y los lanzo a la chimenea: - Oficina Malfoy –
Lucius lo vio desaparecer en la chimenea, y cuando estuvo seguro de que ya se encontraba solo, golpeo uno de los jarrones con su bastón, descargando en aquel golpe, toda la furia que sentía.
- Eres un hijo ingrato, Draco – escupió Lucius observando con coraje mal contenido la chimenea por la que se había ido su hijo – Te he dado todo¿Y como me pagas?, te largas de nuevo con aquel Sangre Mestiza¡Eres una vergüenza para la familia!, pero ya pagaras tu parte, al igual que ese estúpido de Potter –
* * *
- ¡¿Cómo demonios dio Draco con mi dirección?! – exclamó Harry mirando a sus amigos sin poder ocultar su furia - ¡Y aparte a dicho que no se ira hasta que hablemos, que derecho se cree que tiene ese idiota! –
En cuanto llegaron a la casa de Ron, los tres se encerraron en la cocina para poder hablar de lo que había sucedido, y mientras Ethan se quedaba en la sala viendo televisión, Hermione se encargo de cerrar e insonorizar la puerta para evitar que se escuchara cualquier cosa en el exterior, aunque hasta ese momento, el único que había hablado, gritado y despotricado, era Harry.
- ¡Él fue quien dio por terminado todo¿Acaso cree que ahora puede volver como si nada?! – siguió despotricando, y Hermione le dirigió una mirada a su esposo antes de hablar, aún cuando la mirada de Ron le advertía que no hiciera lo que tenía pensado hacer.
- Harry... –
- No, Hermione – la interrumpió Ron con voz seria.
- Pero, debemos decírselo – protesto la castaña – Tiene derecho a saber –
- ¿A saber que? – pregunto Harry, mirando primero a su amiga, y luego a su amigo.
- Nada Harry, no tiene importancia – respondió Ron, que seguía recargado contra el refrigerador con los brazos y las piernas cruzadas.
- ¿Qué me están escondiendo? – increpo Harry mirando molesto a su amigo.
- ¿Recuerdas cuándo fui a Inglaterra hace algunos días? – le pregunto Hermione, y Ron le dirigió una última mirada de advertencia, antes de voltear hacía el suelo.
- Si, lo recuerdo, esa noche, Ethan y yo venimos a celebrar que Inglaterra accedió a firmar – contesto Harry observando fijamente a su amiga, pero sin pasar por alto la última mirada que su amigo le dirigió a su esposa, antes de apartar la vista.
- Pues... Cuando estaba por irme, yo... Me tope con Malfoy – soltó por fin, tomando aire antes de continuar – Me llevo aparte y me pregunto por ti, quería saber donde estabas, pero yo no le dije nada – se apresuro a explicarle, al ver a su amigo abrir la boca – Tampoco me siguió, de eso estoy segura –
- ¡¿Y porque no me lo dijiste cuando nos vimos en la noche?! – estalló Harry mirándola indignado. De pronto se había sentido como cuando estaba en quinto año, cuando todos le guardaban información.
- Yo... Lo hable con Ron, pero llegamos a la conclusión de que lo mejor era no decirte nada – le explico lo más rápidamente posible, sintiéndose repentinamente nerviosa – No tenía caso decirte, se suponía que Draco no tenía idea de donde te encontrabas, y si te decíamos, sólo conseguiríamos inquietarte, y ni siquiera era seguro que Draco fuera a aparecerse por aquí... –
- ¡Pedro lo hizo, ese maldito desgraciado vino! – grito Harry molesto.
- Lo sabemos Harry – intervino Ron a favor de su esposa – Pero en ese momento nos pareció lo mejor, de haber sabido que algo así sucedería, ten por seguro que te lo hubiéramos dicho. Sólo no queríamos incomodarte si no era necesario –
- ¡Juraron que no me esconderían nada! – siguió gritando molesto.
- ¡No sabíamos que esto sucedería! – grito Ron también - ¡Perdón por preocuparnos por ti! –
- ¡Basta los dos! – interrumpió Hermione mirando a ambos chicos – Lamento que esto te halla causado problemas, Harry, pero en verdad que lo hicimos pensando únicamente en tu tranquilidad –
Aún molesto, Harry cerro los ojos fuertemente intentando tranquilizarse. No tenía sentido pelearse con sus amigos, no cuando habían sido ellos quienes le habían ayudado y apoyado cuando más lo necesito, no cuando pese a todo lo que aquélla situación le molestara, sabía que ellos sólo lo habían hecho con la intención de ayudar. Quizás lo que en realidad lo tenía molesto, era saber que pese a que pensara que ya había olvidado a Draco y había superado todo aquello, al verlo parado frente a él, se dio cuenta de que no era tan cierto como había creído.
- Lo sentimos, Harry – se disculpo la castaña con la voz entrecortada a causa del dolor que le causaba saber que su mejor amigo, casi su hermano, aquel a quien con gusto defendería de quienquiera, estaba molesto con ella.
- No, discúlpenme a mi – hablo Harry, y ambos le observaron con atención. Desde que Ethan había nacido, Harry parecía haber madurado bastante, ya no era tan impulsivo, y se pensaba con cuidado las cosas antes de hacerlas – Se que lo hicieron para evitarme corajes, pero me asusta saber que es capaz de cumplir su promesa, y no lo quiero cercas de Ethan bajo ninguna circunstancia... –
- Podríamos levantar una demanda mágica por acoso, y lograr que se mantenga lo más alejado posible de Ethan y de ti – propuso Ron de inmediato.
- No, no se puede – intervino Hermione – El tratado de cubre la identidad de Harry, impide que pueda usar alguna de las leyes normales, te recuerdo que se supone que él no esta aquí, el Ministerio Alemán accedió mediante un Tratado Mágico, proteger su identidad, y llevar acabo un tramite de esos, haría que la ubicación de Harry quedara accesible –
- Entonces yo me encargare de alejarlo de ambos – propuso de nuevo Ron, estampando su puño derecho, contra la palma de su mano izquierda.
- No puedes golpearlo, si presenta una demanda porque lo has golpeado, o si llegas a usar tu mágia y la Central de Aurores se entera, estarás suspendido por tiempo indefinido, quizás inclusive despedido – le recordó su esposa dirigiéndole una mirada de advertencia.
- Harry¿Y si le dices la verdad? - pregunto Hermione, aún sabiendo cual sería la respuesta de su amigo, porque era la misma que aquél día hace más de 8 años.
- No – respondió Harry terminante.
- ¿Por qué no Harry? – siguió presionando la castaña.
- Porque no Hermione, ya habíamos hablado de eso – le respondió Harry cortante.
- Hablamos de eso hace más de 8 años, eran otras situaciones y otros sentimientos – comento Hermione – Quizás es hora de hablar de eso de nuevo¿No crees? –
- No, no lo creo – respondió testarudo.
- Harry, él tiene derecho a... –
- ¡Él no tiene derecho a nada, Hermione! – exclamo Harry molesto – ¡Él no se preocupo por como me sentí al mandarme al diablo y pasar a formar parte del bando enemigo¡No se preocupo por nadie más que por él mismo¿Por qué yo tengo que preocuparme por lo que siente¿Por qué tengo que hacer concesiones a su favor cuando él no las hizo conmigo?! –
- Lo siento... – murmuro Hermione, sabiendo que aquel suceso, sólo había abierto la herida que su amigo no había logrado cerrar eficientemente.
- No importa... – murmuro Harry dejándose caer sobre la silla, sabiendo que se había metido a la boca del lobo, y ni siquiera estaba seguro de querer salir corriendo de ahí.
- Sabes que te apoyaremos Harry – le recordó Ron, y Hermione se apresuro a asentir con la cabeza para confirmar las palabras de su esposo – Pero creo que Hermione tiene razón. Yo no soy partidario del Hurón, y tampoco digo que le cuentes todo, pero deberías pensar seriamente en escuchar lo que tenga que decirte; Él dijo que sólo viene a que lo escuches, escúchalo y después mándalo al demonio como hizo contigo. Tampoco digo que lo hagas en cuento lo veas, piénsatelo, y sea cual sea la decisión que tomes, sabes que puedes contar con nosotros –
- Si, estaremos contigo pase lo que pase – confirmo Hermione acercándose y tomando entre sus manos, las de su amigo.
- Gracias – les respondió Harry sonriéndoles levemente, preguntándose que sería de él sin sus amigos – Sólo una cosa más: No vuelvan a esconderme nada¿Quieren? –
- Esta bien – accedió Ron sonriéndole – Prometemos no volver a esconderte nada, y esta vez cumpliremos con nuestra promesa –
- Si – confirmo Hermione sonriéndole fraternal y cariñosamente.
Harry también sonrió, agradeciendo a Merlín el poder tener esos amigos tan leales.
* * *
Una vez instalado en su nueva casa con la ayuda del elfo domestico que lo había acompañado, Draco se dispuso a comenzar a revisar algunos de los papeles que había traído de la oficina. Era verdad que lo único que deseaba era ir en busca de Harry para convencerlo de que le escuchara y le diera alguna oportunidad, pero si termina de una vez por todas con el papeleo, tendría más tiempo libre para hacer lo que deseara, además, sabía que debía dejar al moreno pensar en lo que había sucedido, no tanto, sólo lo suficiente para que no le diera un ataque, aparte, él también tenía cosas en que pensar, como en aquel niño, en el hijo de Harry...
* * *
- Ha dormir, Ethan – anuncio Harry ingresando a la habitación del niño, que sentado al suelo, jugaba videojuegos.
- ¡Pero aún es temprano, papá! – protesto el ojigris mirándole suplicante.
- Si, pero mañana tienes que levantarte temprano – le recordó Harry, y se acerco a la cama para retirar las sabanas y permitir que Ethan pudiera acomodarse.
- Aún no tengo sueño – repuso testarudo, y Harry no pudo evitar sonreír, aquel intercambio de palabras y trueques, era casi un ritual antes de poder conseguir que Ethan se fuera a dormir.
- Hagamos una cosa – propuso acercándose a su hijo, y de inmediato, tuvo toda la atención del niño – Si te vas a dormir ya, mañana que es viernes, te prometo que nos quedaremos hasta la hora que tú elijas, ensayando en el piano¿Qué te parece? –
Y aquellas palabras tuvieron el efecto que Harry había deseado, porque al oírlas, los ojos de Ethan brillaron de emoción, y casi al instante, corrió hacía la cama para acostarse en espera de que su padre fuera a taparlo.
- ¿Ya te lavaste los dientes? – le pregunto mientras se acercaba para taparlo.
- Si – respondió Ethan acomodándose mientras su padre lo tapaba.
- Entonces descansa – le deseo Harry dándole un beso en la frente.
- Buenas noches, papá – respondió Ethan sonriendo, y satisfecho por eso, Harry prendió la lámpara que había sobre la mesita de noche, y se dirigió a la puerta.
Antes de apagar la luz, dio un último vistazo a la habitación, y tras detener la mirada algunos segundos en su hijo, apago la luz y cerro la puerta, pensando que el destino no era justo al obligarlo a enfrentar al rubio después de tanto tiempo, pero sabiendo que no iba a permitirle inmiscuirse en su vida después de todo lo que había hecho.
No, no permitiría que se acercara a él, mucho menos a Ethan.
* * *
_**Lamento muchísimo la demora, lo que sucede es que la escuela ya comienza a pasarme facturas de tanto estres y actividades, así que diario llego cansada y con ganas de tirarme a dormir en un sillón -.-**_
_**Pero igual aproveche que me quede dormida y no tengo clase hasta las tres, para subir este capitulo :P**_
_**También se que les prometí actualizar el de Al Final No Todo Cambia, y ya esta casi terminado, pero Aya me lo dio para que lo revisara, y no he tenido tiempo :s Lo siento Aya!!! Pero prometo ponerme al corriente en ese también, y actualizar antes de que este mes acabe. Les prometeria actualizar en vacaciones, pero parece que es cuando mi vida esta más activa socialemnte hablando :P**_
_**Agradezco muchísimo sus comentarios, ya saben que yo trabajo para ustedes y que ese es mi único pago, así que no sean malos y dejenme bastantes xD**_
_**Saludos!!!**_
6. CAPITULO 6
**Capitulo 6: **
Llevaba poco más de media hora de pie junto a la puerta, pero no tenía pensado moverse o tocar, no, esperaría hasta que Harry saliera, y así le demostraría que estaba dispuesto a cumplir su palabra hasta que él accediera a escucharlo, y quien sabe, nada garantizaría que aún después de haber conseguido eso, no se fuera a quedar un poco más de tiempo, todo dependía de Harry y de que le diera la oportunidad que estaba buscando, si no, pues se convertiría en la sombra del moreno aunque a este no le hiciera mucha gracia.
- ¿Gusta que le llame a mi padre? – la voz casi lo hizo saltar, pero todos los años de educación Malfoy lo hicieron contenerse y volverse hacía la puerta, que sumido como estaba en sus pensamientos, no escucho cuando se abrió.
Sintió un retortijón en el estomago cuando poso su mirada en el dueño de la voz, porque había estado preparándose mentalmente para encontrarse con Harry en cuanto la puerta se abriera, no con aquel pequeño. No con el hijo de Harry.
- _"Es el único obstáculo que se interpone entre Harry y tú"_ – le dijo aquélla fastidiosa vocecita, que al instante se apresuro a despachar; No iba a dejar que siguiera hilvanando pensamientos de esa índole.
- No es necesario, ya saldrá – le respondió con su voz perfectamente controlada, y hasta entonces cayó en la cuenta de algo: Aquel pequeño se estaba comportando diferente, no parecía el mismo niño extrovertido y alegre que había bajado del camión el día anterior, porque en aquel momento le observaba con impasibilidad, y sus grises ojos que ayer brillaban con luz propia, se habían oscurecido tenuemente ante la mirada que el pequeño le estaba dirigiendo, una mirada que no supo interpretar, porque guardaba en su interior infinidad de cosas, algo imposible en alguien de su edad, simplemente porque un niño es incapaz de ocultar lo que siente, además, también estaba el tono educado y las posturas firmes y calculadas con que se movía, algo completamente impropio en alguien de su edad, aunque Draco no estaba muy seguro de cuantos años tenía, lo que sí sabía, era que no podía pasar de los diez.
- Como guste – convino Ethan, y sin cerrar la puerta, se dirigió al auto deportivo que se encontraba aparcado sobre la acera. No corrió, camino con toda tranquilidad, como si no llevara prisas, como si correr fuera algo impensable, y entonces Draco supo porque aquello le parecía tan raro: Porque solamente en una etapa de su vida vio a un niño de esa edad comportándose con tal porte, con un aplomo impropio, y lo había visto al mirarse todos los días en el espejo, un niño con una perfecta mascara de frialdad, de insensibilidad, de arrogancia, de porte y educación, de altanería... Aunque también era verdad que aquel niño no mostraba altanería ni frialdad, sólo cierta impersonalidad y educación...
- ¿Ya llevas todo...? – pero el resto de la pregunta murió en los labios del moreno al llegar a la puerta y ver al rubio ahí.
- Buenos días, Harry – le saludo Draco sonriendo lo más galante que pudo, olvidando por algunos momentos lo que había visto, decidiendo que ya habría tiempo para indagar más al respecto.
- ¿Qué haces aquí? – le pregunto Harry a la defensiva, observándolo con recelo, pero sin dejar de por ello, apreciar lo bien vestido que iba, pues aquel pantalón oscuro ligeramente entallado, estilizaba su figura dándole un aire aristocrático que se acentuaba con la camisa de vestir blanca de manga larga, y el saco negro. El cabello lucia libre de gel, pero pulcramente peinado, y Harry tuvo que apartar de inmediato el pensamiento que estaba formándose en su mente, porque no aceptaría que aquel rubio que fue el causante de todo su dolor, se veía realmente sexy.
- Ya te lo había dicho, estaré por aquí hasta que decidas escucharme – le respondió Draco sonriendo divertido, y Harry tuvo que morderse el labio, pues aquel gesto lo hacía lucir mucho más atractivo.
- Y yo creí haberte dicho que te mantuvieras alejado – increpo Harry mirándolo con hostilidad, aunque le costo un gran trabajo darle a su voz el mismo tono frió y duro que usaba para dirigirse al rubio.
- Pues ya vez que no lo haré. ¿Y a donde vamos? – la pregunta la hizo con el mismo tono simple y tranquilo con que había dirigido aquella conversación, y Harry no pudo evitar bufar frustrado.
- Yo no se a donde iras tú, pero yo iré a llevar a MI hijo a la escuela, y después a hacer algunas compras – le respondió molesto, y sin esperar respuesta por parte del rubio, cerro la puerta y se dirigió hacía el auto.
- Perfecto, entonces iremos a llevar a tu hijo a la escuela – convino Draco sin dejar de sonreír lo más galante que podía, intentando dejar de lado el modo hiriente en que Harry se dirigía a él.
Sin decir nada, Harry llego hasta el auto, y agradeciendo que Ethan ya se encontrara arriba, le paso las bolsas que llevaba a su hijo, que las acomodo a sus pies. Cuando cerro la puerta del copiloto, apenas y le dirigió una última mirada al rubio.
- No pienso llevarte en mi auto – le aseguró con frialdad – Además, sólo hay cupo para dos aquí –
- No te preocupes por eso, Harry, lo tengo todo fríamente calculado – le aseguro Draco sonriendo de nuevo – Mi auto llegara exactamente en... – y consulto su reloj de bolsillo – ...Ahora – y en aquel justo momento, Harry se obligo a morderse la lengua, porque un Aston Martin Vanquish de color plateado, se estaciono frente a su casa.
En cuanto el auto se apago, un hombre de poco más de 30 años salió del auto y se dirigió a Draco.
- Aquí esta el auto que compro ayer, señor Malfoy – le dijo, y le entrego las llaves.
- Gracias – fue todo lo que se limito a responderle el rubio, y sonriendo, le mostró las llaves a Harry.
- ¡Ni te atrevas a seguirme, Draco! – le espeto Harry, y furioso, subió a su auto dispuesto a marcharse antes de que el rubio lo siguiera.
Por su parte, Draco se dirigió hacía su auto, y una vez dentro, se dedico a observarlo durante apenas unos segundos antes de introducir la llave y prenderlo.
- Bueno, parece que no he olvidado como se prende, ahora sólo espero no haber olvidado como manejar esta cosa... Merlín cuide de mi... – murmuro algo inseguro, pero tan sólo instantes después, el auto comenzó a avanzar con fluidez por la calle, siguiendo el mismo camino que el Porsche de Harry había trazado.
* * *
- Vamos Ron, debemos irnos o llegaremos tarde – le llamo Hermione desde el borde de las escaleras, y al punto, Ron apareció en el primer peldaño vestido con la túnica negra de los Aurores, que en la parte superior izquierda del pecho, llevaba el escudo correspondiente al escuadrón al que pertenecía.
- Aún así creo que debimos ir a ver si Harry estaba bien – comento el pelirrojo bajando las escaleras, contemplando la túnica verde botella que vestía su esposa, la túnica de los que trabajaban en la Legislación Mágica.
- Él estará bien, sabe cuidarme mejor de lo que sabes cuidarte tú, y su mágia supera la de los dos juntos, además, Malfoy no a venido a hacerle daño, sólo quiere hablar con él – le recordó la bruja sonriéndole mientras acomodaba la corbata de su esposo.
- Eso es lo que más temo, Hermione – le confeso el pelirrojo – Sé perfectamente lo capaz que es Harry hablando en términos mágicos, y también lo capaz que es hablando físicamente, pero no estoy seguro de cuan capaz sea de soportar la presencia de Malfoy después de todo lo que ha pasado entre ellos; Sabes que siempre ha evitado el tema, y estoy seguro de que no lo ha superado como nos hace creer... Simplemente temo que el maldito Hurón le de alas, y luego vuelva a lastimarlo... Harry ya no podría soportar un nuevo desplante... –
- ¡Oh, Ron! – gimió Hermione, abrazándolo enternecida por la preocupación que veía en los ojos del pelirrojo, sabiendo lo mucho que su esposo estimaba a Harry, porque era lo mismo que ella sentía hacía el moreno.
Ambos le querían como a un hermano, y es que era imposible no encariñarse con Harry, que siempre sabía ganarse la confianza de quienes le rodeaban, pero su buen corazón regularmente terminaba ocasionando que le lastimaran, y con el paso del tiempo, sobre todo después de lo sucedido con Malfoy, Hermione y Ron se habían autonombrado protectores del moreno.
- Si Malfoy comienza a molestarlo, me encargare de mandarlo de regreso a Londres en una cajita tan pequeña como mi mano – aseguro Ron con una sonrisa maliciosa en los labios, y Hermione no pudo dejar de notar la fría determinación en su voz. No dijo nada, a final de cuentas sabía que si el Slytherin se atrevía a lastimar de nuevo a Harry, ella estaría dispuesta a hacer cualquier cosa por hacerlo pagar.
- Vamos a trabajar, amor – le susurro besando suavemente sus labios – Cuando llegue a mi oficina, le mandare un mensaje a Harry invitándolo a él y a Ethan a cenar a la casa –
- Esta bien – accedió el pelirrojo, un poco más tranquilo al saber que en la noche podría averiguar si el Hurón molestó a Harry durante la tarde; Sirve que de paso tendría un buen pretexto para irle a partir la cara con todo el gusto del mundo al rubio oxigenado.
* * *
- Papá... – hablo Ethan, observando por el espejo que el auto de aquel hombre rubio los seguía de cercas.
- ¿Si, Ethan? – respondió Harry con la voz ligeramente forzada, porque también se había dado cuanta de que Draco los había alcanzado y llevaba algún rato siguiéndolos.
- ¿Practicaremos hoy en la noche? – pregunto, aunque no era en realidad eso lo que deseaba preguntar, y Harry lo noto enseguida.
- ¿Qué sucede, Ethan?, sabes que puedes decírmelo – y en esta ocasión, la voz de Harry fue más suave y cálida, animándolo a preguntar lo que fuera.
- Es que... Bueno... Ese hombre... El señor Malfoy... Es el mismo que aparece en algunas de las fotos que tienes en el álbum de tu cajón, ¿Verdad? – se animo a preguntar, observando a su padre que mantenía la vista fija en el camino mientras continuaba conduciendo.
De reojo, Harry observo el rostro curioso de su hijo, y tras un suspiro, asintió con la cabeza.
- Si, es él... – respondió vagamente.
- Por la ropa que traen y lo jóvenes que se ven, deduzco que lo conociste durante el tiempo que estuviste estudiando en Hogwarts, ¿Pero quién es?, ¿Por qué estas peleado con él? – volvió a preguntar Ethan, sabiendo que su padre no lo regañaría por preguntar, lo más que podría pasar, era que evadiera sus respuestas como hacía siempre que preguntaba sobre las fotos de ese álbum guardado en el último de los cajones del tocador de su cuarto.
- Es... Un amigo... Pero las cosas no terminaron muy bien entre nosotros... – respondió Harry, intentando que su voz no sonara forzada de nuevo, a final de cuentas, su hijo sólo sentía curiosidad, y no tenía la culpa de lo que el maldito Slytherin le había hecho.
- Parece que él quiere hablar para arreglar las cosas – tanteo Ethan algo inseguro - ¿Por qué no lo escuchas? –
- Las cosas no son así de simple, Ethan – le explico Harry, diciéndose que por lo menos en esa pregunta, podía ser medianamente sincero con su hijo – Durante la guerra con Voldemort, Draco estuvo peleando de nuestro lado, pero antes de la batalla final, decidió pasarse al bando enemigo. No dio muchos detalles al respecto, nunca lo hacía, y nunca pude llegar a perdonarlo por ello, porque creía en él, creí en sus palabras, fui yo quien le dio la oportunidad de integrarse a La Orden del Fénix, y me decepciono completamente, inclusive hubo gente que me hecho en cara el ser tan ingenuo como para pensar que el hijo de un renombrado Mortífago pudiera volverse bueno de pronto... –
Ethan sólo asintió ante las palabras de su padre. Podía comprender medianamente a lo que se refería, porque tanto Harry como su tía Hermione y su tío Ron le habían contado sobre aquella época en que estudiaron en Hogwarts, al igual que de la guerra y el dolor, de la crueldad y las muertes, pero por más que preguntaba, jamás conseguía que alguno de ellos le contara algo un poco más detallado sobre esa etapa de sus vidas, o que tan siquiera le insinuaran veladamente sobre la pelea que su padre había sostenido contra aquel mago tan poderoso y despiadado, y él ya no preguntaba más, porque intuía que aquel episodio en particular había sido largamente doloroso para los tres adultos, y no quería hacerles recordar algo que quizás les traería dolor, los quería mucho y no soportaría verlos tristes, aunque había veces que veía esa tristeza en los ojos de su padre, y sabedor de que los fantasmas del pasado tratan de mermar su felicidad actual, le pedía que le acompañara a tocar el piano, regresando la tranquilidad a aquellos verdes ojos que tanto apreciaba y quería.
- ¿Y porque ha regresado entonces? – no pudo evitar preguntar.
- Según él, quiere explicarme los verdaderos motivos que lo llevaron a tomar esa decisión en aquel momento – explico Harry, conciente de su tono escéptico.
- Parece en verdad arrepentido y dolido de haberte traicionado – comento Ethan como quien no quiere la cosa, dirigiendo su vista hacía la ventanilla del auto, sabiendo que su padre lo había volteado a ver.
- A veces me pregunto como es posible que un niño de tu edad tenga los conocimientos y actitudes que tú tienes – comento Harry con fingida resignación, lo que hizo a Ethan volverse sonriente hacía su padre.
- He tenido a los mejores maestros para aprender, y no los cambiaria por nada del mundo – le aseguro Ethan.
- Es bueno saber eso – concedió Harry sonriéndole divertido – Y creo que ya hemos llegado –
Y ante lo anunciado, Harry detuvo el auto frente a las enormes puertas grises de el colegio donde Ethan estudiaba.
Ambos bajaron del coche, pero Ethan espero hasta que su papá llegara a su lado para caminar juntos hasta la entrada.
- Buenos días, Ethan – saludo una joven mujer sonriéndole con dulzura, para después, volverse al padre del pequeño sonriéndole con marcada sensualidad – Buenos días, señor Potter, ¿Cómo ha estado? –
- Bastante bien, profesora Ali – respondió Harry sonriendo ligeramente - ¿Y a usted como le ha ido? –
- También bien – respondió la mujer sonriéndole encantada - ¿Sabe?, me preguntaba si esta tarde tendría... –
- ¡Ya me voy a clases, papá! – intervino de pronto Ethan, agitando los brazos mientras brincaba entre ambos adultos intentando llamar la atención de su padre. No le gustaba que la gente le coqueteara a su padre, y pese a tener pocos años, sabía que era exactamente eso lo que su profesora estaba haciendo. No, Harry y él estaban bien solos, no necesitaban a nadie más, eran una familia muy feliz así - ¡Despídete! –
- Tranquilo, campeón – comento Harry sonriendo divertido mientras le alborotaba un poco el oscuro cabello, y poniéndose en cuclillas, abrazo al pequeño, que de inmediato lo aferró cariñoso – Diviértete en clases y pórtate bien – le dijo, y después de darle un beso en la mejilla, Ethan hizo lo mismo.
- Ya me voy papá, pero tú también vete porque se te hará tarde – le increpó, y Harry sonrió, conciente de las intensiones de su hijo.
Draco contemplo todo aquello recargado en su auto. No le había hecho gracia la forma en que la mujer le había coqueteado a Harry, aunque había sido muy sutil frente al pequeño, y aún así, éste había sido capaz de captarlo, atrayendo de inmediato la atención del moreno, y Draco fue incapaz de contener la sonrisa que aquello le causo. El pequeñín era celoso y bastante perceptible.
Cuando Ethan entro a la escuela, Harry se despidió de la profesora de su hijo y se apresuro a regresar al auto. Vio al rubio recargado en su auto nuevo, y cuando llego a su altura, le dirigió una mirada indiferente.
- ¿En serio piensas seguirme a todos lados? – le pregunto.
- Ya te lo había dicho, te seguiré hasta que te decidas a escucharme – le respondió Draco sonriéndole galante, y Harry tuvo que contenerse de echarle un maleficio. ¡¿Cómo era posible que casi diez años atrás lo hubiera echado de su vida de una manera tan cruel, y ahora regresara creyéndose merecedor de una segunda oportunidad?! Sin duda, Draco siempre había sabido como hacerlo enfurecer.
- Ya te lo había dicho antes Draco, lo que tenías que decir lo dijiste aquella noche. No tengo la más mínima intención de escucharte de nuevo, no me interesan tus excusas, así que por favor sal de mi vida, regresa a Londres y jamás vuelvas – y sin esperar alguna respuesta, se dirigió a su auto, sin ver la mirada triste que había empañado los ojos grises ante aquellas palabras.
- _"Muy ciertas, no puedes negarlo"_ – le recordó aquélla molesta vocecita, que al punto, Draco ahuyento mientras se subía a su auto, no quería perder de vista a Harry.
* * *
El siguiente punto en donde Harry se detuvo, fue lo que Draco reconoció segundos después como un Centro Comercial, aunque Muggle por supuesto.
- Vaya, jamás había venido a un Centro Comercial – comento llegando hasta Harry, que tomaba uno de los carritos, y que lo ignoro completamente - ¿Ha que sabrá la comida de los Muggles? – pregunto levantando una lata de legumbres de uno de los escaparates.
Harry se mordió los labios para no responder, o para en cualquier caso, no sonreír por la curiosidad que veía reflejándose en el rubio.
Los siguientes minutos que se dedicaron a pasear por los pasillos, Draco intentaba mantener al margen su curiosidad, limitándose a observar las cosas que veía en los escaparates, y sólo se animaba a tocar lo que el moreno iba poniendo en el carrito, suponiendo que si Harry lo agarraba con toda confianza, era porque no presentaba peligro alguno. Harry por su parte, se preguntaba como era posible que Draco se comportara como un niño curioso, sobre todo porque aquella imagen contrastaba enormemente con la del siempre frió y meticuloso Draco Malfoy que mostraba ante todos, aunque también era cierto que durante el tiempo que fueron novios en Hogwarts, sólo frente a él dejaba de lado aquella mascara de perfección que usaba frente a los demás... No, no necesitaba esa clase de pensamientos justo ahora, y moviendo ligeramente la cabeza, ahuyento aquellos recuerdos.
- Vaya, ¿Qué es esto? – le pregunto Draco señalando un disco, y hasta entonces, Harry se dio cuenta de que tan metido estaba en sus pensamientos, que no se había dado cuenta de que habían entrado al área de música.
- Son discos – le respondió pasando junto a él, dispuesto a salir de aquel lugar para seguir con las compras y poder seguir con lo que tenía que hacer aquel día.
- ¿Y que hacen? – le pregunto Draco alcanzándolo, sonriendo interiormente al ver que pese a que Harry le hablaba con indiferencia y cierta frialdad, había dejado de decirle que se alejara de él.
- Los pones en unos aparatos que los reproducen y hacen que se escuche música – intento explicarle Harry mientras entraban a la sección de ropa y éste se detenía en la ropa para niños.
- Tienes un niño muy guapo – comento Draco como quien no quiere la cosa mientras contemplaba con ojos críticos algunos saquitos para el frió – Dentro de algunos años será todo un don Juan –
- Si – respondió Harry, y Draco noto que la voz del moreno ahora se escuchaba forzada e incomoda.
- ¿Cuántos años tiene? – siguió indagando, aún a sabiendas de que entraba en terreno peligroso.
- No te importa – le respondió Harry con dureza, y mirándolo de reojo, Draco se dijo que podía dejar de preguntar, ya se estaban metiendo en terreno donde no era bueno andar todavía, y no era necesario estar haciendo enojar a Harry para que se la pasara queriendo correrlo a cada rato, o para que en su defecto, lo hechizase por metiche.
El resto de las compras las hicieron sin mayores problemas, porque Draco se abstuvo de hablar, y Harry de prestarle atención alguna.
- ¿Te ayudo? – se animo a preguntarle al verlo descargar las bolsas que había comprado, del carrito al asiento del copiloto.
- Puedo hacerlo solo, no te preocupes – le respondió con dureza, por lo que Draco se abstuvo de decir algo más y se dedico a seguirlo observando.
Cuando Harry termino, cerro la puerta, puso el carrito en la zona destinada a ello, y subió a su auto sin prestarle mayor atención al rubio, que ya se había subido a su auto y esperaba a que Harry arrancara, cosa que hizo a los pocos minutos.
Lo siguió pensando que iría de regreso a su casa, pero no fue así, y después de casi media hora de camino, el moreno se detuvo frente a una casa que si bien no era grande, parecía bastante costosa, por no decir también lujosa.
- ¿Quién vive aquí? – le pregunto cuando el moreno se bajo de su auto con una carpeta azul en la mano.
- Quien viva aquí no es de tu incumbencia, Draco – le atajó Harry con frialdad, y después de pasar la carpeta por debajo de la puerta, se dirigió a su auto de nuevo.
Después de aquélla visita, se detuvieron en una tintorería en donde Harry dejo dos de las bolsas que había sacado de la casa, para después, dirigirse a una biblioteca en donde entrego unos libros que traía en la última bolsa que había sacado de la casa.
Draco lo siguió durante todo aquel trayecto, bajándose para acompañar a Harry tanto a la biblioteca como a la tintorería, y en la biblioteca pudo ver que el moreno entrego cinco libros sobre la música de piano entre otros cinco de diversos temas, cosa que no pudo evitar que le llamara la atención.
- No sabía que te interesara el piano – comento cuando Harry ya regresaba a su auto después de haberlos entregado.
- Hay muchas cosas que no sabes de mi, Draco – fue la escueta respuesta, y el rubio casi podía jurara que había resentimiento en la voz al decir aquello.
Cuando llegaron a la casa de Harry, vio al moreno sacar algunas de las bolsas con la comida que había comprado, para dirigirse a la casa, y mientras lo veía dejar las cosas en el piso del zaguán para buscar las llaves, dirigió una mirada apreciativa a las cinco bolsas que todavía quedaban en el interior del auto. Lo pensó durante algunos momentos, porque él jamás había tenido que cargar cosas, siempre había alguien que las cargara por él, y la idea no lo entusiasmaba en lo absoluto, pero también quería ayudar a Harry,
- Un elfo sería de gran ayuda – mascullo agarrando las cinco bolsas que quedaban, y al levantarlas, comprobó que algunas pesaban más que otras, y el peso distribuido en verdad era bastante, no que fuera un debilucho, porque en verdad que pesaban bastante, el único problema era que ahora el orgullo Malfoy estaba en juego – La mágia también ayudaría – rezongó molesto consigo mismo, pero comenzó a caminar hacía la casa, intentando no mostrar que aquello le estaba costando bastante de trabajo – _"No soy débil, simplemente que las bolsas pesan bastante"_ – pensó intentando no sentirse mal, y cuando iba a subir el primer escalón del zaguán, vio a Harry que se había quedado de pie en el quicio de la puerta observándolo asombrado.
- Yo... ¿Quieres ayuda? – le pregunto algo inseguro, porque en verdad que le había asombrado ver a Draco cargando aquellas bolsas, sobre todo porque Draco nunca cargaba nada, además, sabía que en aquellas cinco bolsas estaban las latas y cosas de comer más pesadas, precisamente por eso las había dejado hasta el final.
- No... Yo puedo solo – respondió Draco con la voz un tanto forzada por el esfuerzo, y terco como él mismo, continuo caminando hacía la entrada, negándose a aceptar lo obvio.
Harry se hizo a un lado para dejarle el paso libre; Tan asombrado estaba, que no se percato de que estaba dejando entrar a Draco a su casa, y se dio cuenta de ello hasta que lo vio detenerse en el pasillo que daba a la sala del lado derecho, y al comedor del lado izquierdo, sin saber hacía donde ir a dejar las bolsas.
- Es la primera puerta a tu izquierda – le indico mientras salía a cerrar el auto, aunque en realidad necesitaba alejarse del rubio porque se sentía repentinamente confuso y vulnerable.
Por su parte, Draco no dejo de notar lo acogedora y cálida que era la casa, sin mencionar lo amplia que eran cada una de sus secciones. Por lo poco que había podido ver de la sala, era un lugar bastante amplio, y el diseño de los sillones acomodados en torno de la chimenea y separados por una mesita de madera, le daban un aire acogedor. Tampoco había pasado por alto el amplio piano negro de cola larga que se encontraba acomodado junto a las ventanas en una de las esquinas de la habitación. No había podido ver más, porque se había volteado a ver el comedor, que se encontraba coronado por una larga mesa de madera para seis personas, pero sólo con cuatro elegantes sillas, y Draco supuso con acierto, que las otras dos sillas estaban destinadas al matrimonio Weasley cuando venían de visita. Cuando Harry le indico el lugar al que tenía que dirigirse, se encamino hacía ahí, abriendo la puerta movediza, para encontrarse con una cocina integral de color café oscuro que la hacía lucir sobria. No pudo dejar de notar que toda la casa lucia impecable, sólo con una que otra cosa fuera de lugar que le daba aquel inconfundible toque hogareño.
- _"Hogar al que no perteneces"_ – se encargo de recordarle la molesta vocecita, y repentinamente dolido por aquella observación, regreso sobre sus pasos hacía el pasillo, observando la escalera del fondo, que sin duda llevaría al segundo piso, y al lado de la misma, una puerta que quizás conduciría al patio trasero.
- Yo... – la voz de Harry le hizo volverse a la puerta, y pudo ver la confusión y el incomodísimo que había en sus verdes ojos.
- Tienes una casa muy bonita – comento intentando aliviar el momento, sabiendo que para Harry no debía resultar muy grato tenerlo dentro de su casa después de todo lo que había pasado, pero rogando internamente para que no lo corriera.
Por su parte, Harry no sabía que decir, de alguna extraña manera estaba complacido de que Draco le hubiera ayudado, sobre todo porque sabía que Draco no hacía ese tipo de cosas si bien podía evitarlas, además de que "No eran dignas de un Malfoy", y sin duda pudo haberlo dejado cargar todo a él solo, y sin embargo lo ayudo, pero no podía olvidar aquel resentimiento que sentía, aquel dolor que le causo hace ya tantos años...
- _"Te estas volviendo un lió"_ – se burlo la vocecita en su interior, pero Harry sabía que tenía razón, porque aunque una parte de él quería que Draco saliera de su casa cuanto antes, la otra quería que se quedara, que no se fuera, que lo abrazara y le dijera que todo estaría bien, que todo lo que pasaron había sido un mal sueño – _"Pero no lo fue, fue tan real como lo es ahora Ethan..."_ – comentó la vocecita con toda intención, y logro su cometido, porque Harry recordó a la perfección el dolor, la desesperación, la frustración, el coraje que sintió después de que Draco lo echara de su vida sin tacto alguno.
- Por favor sal de mi casa – murmuro apartando la mirada, sintiéndose incapaz de sostener la mirada de aquellos ojos grises, y con movimientos lentos, se aparto de la puerta para permitirle salir, agachando la mirada para ocultar el brillo de sus ojos a causa de las lagrimas, e intentando ignorar el vació en la boca de su estomago.
Draco no se movió de inmediato, pero sabía que aquello había sobrepasado a Harry, y decidió que lo mejor era dejarlo solo para que pensara un poco. Se veía demasiado azorado, y él no deseaba perturbarlo más.
- Yo... – pero no sabía que decir, y tampoco si estaba bien que dijera algo, así que decidió salir sin decir nada, pensando que en todo caso era lo mejor, así no alteraba más al moreno.
Cuando la puerta se cerro con suavidad, Harry no pudo evitar sentirse todavía peor, y odiándose por ello, cerro los ojos con fuerza, intentando evitar que las lagrimas que ahora empañaban sus ojos, ganaran carrera libre por su rostro, no, no lloraría por él, no de nuevo, no cuando aquel bastardo no había sido merecedor del amor que le había profesado durante tanto tiempo...
- _"Y lo peor de todo, es que lo sigues amando como en aquellos días..."_ – comento la vocecita con criterio, lo que termino de hundir a Harry en un desesperado dolor, porque sabía que aunque se engañara, no era verdad que ya hubiera olvidado al rubio, no, seguía amándolo, no estaba muy seguro de que fuera como aquellos días, pero desde que lo vio aparecer en el quicio de su puerta, supo que no lo había conseguido olvidar, y aquella sensación se intensifico cuando el rubio lo acompaño de compras, descubriendo a su pesar, que se había divertido mucho pasando el día con Draco, aunque se hubiera estado repitiendo constantemente lo contrario. De pronto, la idea de que había sido muy injusto con Draco al pedirle que saliera de aquélla forma de la casa, después de que el rubio le había ayudado con las bolsas, se poso sobre Harry con fuerza aplastante.
- _"¿Por qué te preocupa lo que él pueda sentir, cuando a él no le importó lo que tú sentiste cuando te alejo de su lado?"_ – inquirió de nuevo la vocecita, y desquiciado ante tantos sentimientos encontrados, pateo con fuerza uno de los jarrones que había junto al perchero, y que ante el violento golpe, se rompió.
* * *
Draco salió de la casa, y aunque algo le decía que debía irse a su casa para dejar tranquilo al moreno, no lo hizo, prefirió subirse a su auto y permanecer ahí, porque si bien sabía que debía darle tiempo a Harry, también estaba dispuesto a cumplir su promesa, además, había obtenido algo bueno: Durante toda la mañana, pese a que se quejo demasiado, Harry termino aceptando su compañía, quizás a regañadientes, quizás ignorándolo, pero acepto que permaneciera con él, y eso si bien no era gran cosa, era un paso importante.
- _"Sólo espero que no termine obligándome a alejarme"_ – pensó Draco con cierta inseguridad, pero creyó que era mejor no pensar demasiado en eso, no quería atraer la mala suerte justo en aquel momento.
* * *
- ¡Demonios!, sigue ahí – mascullo Harry asomándose por la ventana con cautela, comprobando como hace una hora había hecho, que Draco seguía sentado en su auto sin intensiones de ir a ningún lado - ¡¿Por qué demonios no se va?! –
Y molesto consigo mismo por no poder evitar que aquel conocimiento lo inquietara, decidió regresar a la cocina a terminar de preparar la comida para cuando Ethan llegara. Se negaba a sentirse culpable de que el Slytherin se quedara ahí durante todo el día, él jamás le había dicho que lo hiciera, así que no tenía por que sentirse mal.
- _"Y sin embargo te sientes mal. No cabe duda de que eres un Gryffindor"_ – comento la vocecita con burla, y Harry tuvo que contenerse para no golpearse la cabeza con la sartén.
Durante los siguientes minutos se dedico a terminar de preparar la comida, enfocando toda su atención en la elaboración de la misma, pero al terminar, no pudo contener la curiosidad y volvió a asomarse, tan sólo para comprobar que ahí seguía,
- _"Y no puedo dejarlo ahí, quizás tiene hambre o sed..."_ – pensó, y no pudo evitar sentirse ligeramente culpable, aunque todavía había una parte de él que se negaba a aceptar la cercanía del rubio.
Respiro hondo, y aún sabiendo que aquello era un total desatino, se dirigió a la puerta.
En cuanto la abrió, pudo sentir la mirada de Draco fija en él, y mordiéndose los labios mientras rogaba a Merlín que no lo dejara cometer otro error más, le hizo una seña para que se acercara, y aunque Draco se mostró asombrado, no perdió el tiempo y se bajo del auto, haciendo un gran esfuerzo por no correr, pero sobre todo, por no mostrar la ansiedad que le embargaba.
- ¿Sucede algo? – le pregunto en cuanto llego a donde el moreno le esperaba, felicitándose por el tono tranquilo que logro darle a su voz.
- Yo... Sólo me preguntaba si no tenías hambre o sed... – respondió, y casi al segundo siguiente se maldijo mentalmente por estúpido. Se estaba mostrando demasiado inseguro, y no quería que el rubio malinterpretara sus intensiones, sólo estaba preocupado por él, como cualquier buena persona lo estaría de su prójimo, y así se lo hizo saber – Has estado siguiéndome desde muy temprano, así que asumo que no has tenido oportunidad de comer o beber algo, y la verdad es que no quiero sentirme culpable de que al rato azotes en el suelo a causa de tu terquedad, así que... ¿Gustas un vaso con agua o algo de comer? –
A Draco, aquella exposición le pareció de lo más divina, sobre todo por los gestos del moreno, y agradeciendo su eterno corazón Gryffindor, se dispuso a no desaprovechar aquella grandiosa oportunidad.
- Aceptaría el vaso con agua – convino, intentando ocultar la sonrisa que tiraba de sus labios intentando aparecer en su rostro.
- Bueno... Err... Pasa – termino cediendo Harry, y se hizo a un lado para permitirle entrar, aunque ya no estaba tan seguro de que esa había sido una buena idea – Ya sabes donde esta el comedor, puedes esperar ahí en lo que te llevo el agua –
- Gracias – respondió Draco dirigiéndose al comedor, mientras que Harry se dirigía a la cocina.
En cuanto Draco se sentó a la mesa, no pudo evitar pensar en que si no hubiera alejado a Harry de su vida, habrían compartido incontables números de desayunos al acabar de despertar de una tranquila noche, de comidas y de cenas, para después poder ir a dormir a la habitación, los dos juntos, abrazados y...
- Tenía jugo de naranja, pero no estaba seguro de que supieras que era – la voz de Harry lo saco de sus pensamientos, y casi al segundo siguiente, el moreno le puso un vaso con agua sobre la mesa.
- No... No te preocupes – alcanzo a decir – Con el agua esta bien –
Justo en ese momento, un sonido llamo la atención de Draco, y al segundo siguiente, vio que Harry extrajo de uno de los bolsillos de su pantalón, un extraño aparato que se llevo al oído. Él había visto a algunos empresarios Muggles con los que trabaja usarlos, y aunque no tenía ni idea de cómo funcionaban, sabía que servían para comunicarse con otros Muggles que tuvieran un aparato similar, y que esos aparatos tenían miles de formas distintas, pero para que funcionaran, se les debía anexar un código numérico especial que te contactaba con otra persona; Si más no se equivocaba, esas cosas se llamaban celulares. Extraños inventos hacían los Muggles a su parecer.
- ¿Si? – pregunto el moreno – Hola Hermione – bueno, ahora Draco sabía con quien hablaba – Hoy en la noche. Si, esta bien. Me parece perfecto. Si. Bien, entonces los veremos en la noche. Err, no, no te preocupes por eso, todo esta bajo control. Nada de problemas aún. Descuida, Hermione. No pasara nada. Si, lo sé. Esta bien. Entonces los vemos en la noche, adiós – y después de presionar una tecla, se guardo el aparato en la misma bolsa del pantalón.
- Curiosos aparatos inventan los Muggles para comunicarse – no pudo evitar comentar Draco.
- Son muy útiles – fue todo lo que dijo Harry, y justo en aquel momento, el sonido de un claxon hizo que Harry se levantara de la silla y se dirigiera a la puerta.
Con algo de reticencia, Draco también se levanto, y cuando estaba por salir al pasillo, la voz del pequeñín lo hizo detenerse.
- ¡¡Papá!! – exclamo Ethan abrazando a Harry.
- Hola campeón, ¿Cómo te fue? – le pregunto Harry acariciándole la cabeza y revolviéndole los negros cabellos aún más de lo que ya los traía.
- Estuvo bien – respondió el ojigris entrando a la casa mientras Harry cerraba la puerta – Ya hice mi examen de lenguas y matemáticas, y creo que me fue muy bien en lógica y sobre todo en deporte. Por cierto, mañana empiezan los ensayos, pero serán después de las clases... –
- No te preocupes por eso – le aseguró Harry sonriéndole – Iré a recogerte al termino de los ensayos. Ahora sube a dejar tus cosas y lávate las manos para comer –
- ¡Si! – exclamo Ethan emocionado, y cuando se dio media vuelta para dirigirse a las escaleras, se detuvo en seco y miro a su padre por sobre su hombro - ¿Acaso tenemos visitas? –
- Si – fue la respuesta de Harry mientras observaba a su hijo con un brillo orgulloso en sus verdes ojos. Ethan había comenzado a hacer mágia accidental desde el año de edad, pero no cosas simples, no, su mágia era muy poderosa y eso terminaba causándole dolores de cabeza a Harry, por lo que decidió enseñarle a su hijo a controlarla ya que tuviera un mayor control de sus habilidades motrices y mentales, y ya de paso, le enseño también a desarrollarla, labores en las que contribuyeron con entusiasmo Ron y Hermione, y aunque Ethan aún era menor de edad, como todavía no entraba a ninguna Escuela de Mágia, el Ministerio de Mágia de Alemania no podía infraccionarlo, ya que, tal como lo había dicho Hermione alguna vez hace muchos años _"Es un niño pequeño, así que es normal que no tenga absoluto control de su mágia y la use 'Accidentalmente'"_, y conforme Ethan avanzaba en su aprendizaje, Harry decidió que podía enseñarle algunos conjuros más potentes y algunos de defensa, entre los que se encontraban la habilidad de extender su mágia para poder sentir la presencia mágica y poder distinguir si era un humano o un animal el que se encontraba cercas, aunque en esta última parte Ethan aún tenía algunos problemas.
- ¿Quién? – pregunto Ethan curioso, y sin esperar respuesta por parte de su padre, se dirigió al comedor, lugar de donde había sentido provenir la vibración mágica, y en cuanto se acerco, pudo ver a Draco de pie junto a la mesa- Oh, es el señor Malfoy... – murmuro, y al punto, sus grises ojos recorrieron la alta figura de aquel hombre que repentinamente había aparecido en la vida de ellos, y que para él era todo un misterio.
Al verlos tan cercas, Harry no pudo evitar sentir que algo se retorcía en su interior causándole más dolor del que hubiera estado dispuesto a admitir.
- Ethan, creo que será mejor que subas a dejar tus cosas pronto y te alistes para comer – le recordó acercándose, y al punto, dos pares de orbes grises le observaron, y Harry no pudo evitar que su corazón se encogiera adolorido.
- Esta bien – accedió Ethan – Con su permiso señor Malfoy – y con una leve inclinación de despedida, se dirigió hacía las escaleras. Había podido ver un extraño brillo en los ojos de su padre, y estaba casi seguro de que era a causa del dolor, pero no entendía por qué, quizás era porque había recordado algo del pasado, y en todo caso, ¿Qué hacía ese señor en el interior de su casa si a su padre no le caía bien y aún estaba dolido con él?
En cuanto Ethan desapareció escaleras arriba, Harry se volvió hacía Draco que se había quedado observando detenidamente al pequeño.
- Yo... Es mejor que te vayas Draco... – murmuro, y se odio por sentirse tan confundido, tan inseguro y vulnerable.
- Esta bien – accedió Draco, intentando comprender un poco lo que había pasado ahí. Se dirigió ala puerta con paso tranquilo, pero antes de irse, se volvió hacía Harry - ¿Aún no quieres escucharme? –
Harry sabía a lo que el rubio se refería, pero por aquel día había sido suficiente de emociones encontradas, y sabiendo que una parte suya protestaría mientras que la otra lo felicitaría, negó con la cabeza.
- Esta bien – concedió, pero negándose a darse por vencido tan pronto, añadió con toda tranquilidad – Tengo que irme a mi casa a terminar de llenar unos papeles que me mandaron del trabajo temprano, pero mañana regresare, y entonces si no te libraras de mi en todo el día – y era una amenaza que estaba gustoso de cumplir, además, sabía que si se iba ahora, podía dejar a Harry digerir todo lo que había pasado, y prepararse mentalmente para verlo al día siguiente.
Harry no dijo nada, sólo se limito a bajar la mirada al suelo, así que Draco salió de la casa sin decir más; Prefería dejar pensar al moreno.
* * *
La cena que aquélla noche compartió con sus amigos fue tan tranquila y agradable como siempre, pero por más que el pelirrojo intento averiguar si Draco había tenido el descaro de ir a pararse a la casa de su amigo, Harry simplemente dijo que no lo había visto, y cuando intento preguntarle a Ethan, este le respondió con una sonrisa que él no había vuelto a ver a ese señor. Hermione intuía que ambos mentían, conocía bien a esos dos: Junto a uno había crecido y al otro lo había visto crecer, y aunque los dos parecían decir la verdad, su sexto sentido le decía que ambos mentían descaradamente, y sabía que su esposo se había percatado de ello, por eso no dejaba de interrogarlos, aunque ya supiera que no iba a conseguir nada con eso.
* * *
**_Holas!!_**
**_Lamento el retraso, pero la escuela no me da chanse de subir nada, sin embargo, aquí les traigo el siguiente capitulo y la promesa de que muy protno actualizare Herencia Veela. Gracias por sus comentarios, intentare responderlos a la brevedad._**
**_Besos!!_**
7. CAPITULO 7
**Capitulo 7:**
Era fin de semana, pero no sabía si Harry hacía algo temprano durante esos días, así que para no errarle, se levanto a las cinco de la mañana el sábado dispuesto a bañarse, cambiarse, y dirigirse a la casa del moreno; No quería que el Gryffindor se le fuera antes de que llegara.
* * *
- Buenos... Días... Papá... – saludo Ethan aún somnoliento en medio de un bostezo, y mientras con la mano derecha se tapaba la boda, con la izquierda se tallaba uno de sus ojos.
- Vaya, a alguien se le pegaron las sabanas esta mañana – comento Harry sonriéndole divertido sin dejar de preparar el desayuno – Ya estaba pensando seriamente en ir a levantarte –
- Aún no es muy tarde – se defendió Ethan.
- No, pero siempre tiendes a levantarte antes de las 8:00, y están por dar las 9:00. Creo que te hizo mal que nos desveláramos hasta tan tarde tocando el piano... – comento Harry con toda intención, y obtuvo la reacción que esperaba: Los ojos grises se abrieron de par en par completamente despiertos, y le enfocaron como si de pronto le hubiera nacido otra cabeza.
- ¡Debes estar bromeando! – exclamo Ethan escandalizado - ¡Me fascina cuando tocamos el piano juntos, me hace sentir relajado y alegre!, ¡Por nada del mundo cambiaria algo como eso! –
Harry sólo pudo soltar una carcajada de puro deleite ante las palabras de su hijo, que era el único pago que recibía por todos sus esfuerzos, y que le era más que suficiente, porque por su hijo era capaz de cualquier cosa.
- Anda, será mejor que vayas a sentarte a la mesa, el desayuno ya esta listo – le apremio, y sin perdida de tiempo, Ethan se apresuro a salir de la cocina mientras Harry encantaba los platos servidos y los vasos con jugo de naranja para que se dirigieran a la mesa del comedor en donde Ethan ya lo esperaba.
El desayuno paso sin mayores contratiempos, mientras que padre e hijo platicaban de la escuela de este último, o el trabajo del primero.
* * *
- Bueno, supongo que los sábados los dedica a pasarlos en familia y no salen a ningún lado – comento Draco sin dejar de observar la puerta, porque aunque no lo aceptara, le ponía ansioso el hecho de no verlo salir; Era verdad que ahí estaba el auto del moreno, pero bien podrían haber salido a pasear a pie.
De pronto, un auto rojo se detuvo justo detrás del suyo, y Draco pudo ver a un hombre alto de cabellos castaños y elegante traje negro que se bajo para dirigirse hacía la casa de Harry. No debía pasar los 35 años a su parecer, y tenía el cabello castaño peinado hacía atrás, cosa que lo hacía ver atractivo y maduro, pero para nada viejo, por lo que a Draco aquel hombre no le dio buena espina, sobre todo porque no le agrado la sonrisa seductora que alcanzo a ver en su rostro al volverse hacía la casa del moreno.
Sin saber muy bien porque, salió del auto, y cerrando la puerta, se apoyo sobre ella recargando los brazos sobre el techo. Quería que Harry lo viera, que Harry supiera que estaba ahí, pero sobre todo, él quería ver que demonios buscaba ese tipo ahí.
Lo vio tocar el timbre, y algunos segundos después, la puerta abrirse. Fue Ethan quien abrió, y pudo ver aún en la distancia, las orbes grises del pequeño brillar con recelo al ver a aquel hombre, lo que termino de convencerlo de que aquel hombre no le iba a caer nada bien.
Aquel hombre y el pequeño intercambiaron algunas palabras, y Draco, de nuevo vio a Ethan comportándose con los buenos modales y la impersonalidad con la que se había comportado con él el día anterior, y no dejo de asombrarle lo controlado y tranquilo que parecía, casi podría jurar que era un adulto pequeño. Durante algunos segundos, el pequeño pareció mirarlo fijamente, pero al siguiente segundo, volvieron a enfocar al hombre frente a él, y entonces, Draco lo vio sonreír de lado con algo que reconoció perfectamente como desprecio, y no pudo evitar que aquel gesto le pareciera terriblemente familiar.
- _"Si, muy familiar, demasiado familiar, ¿Qué otro niño solía sonreír con desprecio de esa forma tan única?"_ – pregunto la vocecita en su interior, y Draco intento ignorarla, pero era demasiado tarde, la pregunta había sido hecha, y ahora su cerebro trabaja a mil revoluciones por segundo con una idea tan loca como posible...
De pronto vio a Ethan entrar a la casa, y sintió su estomago encogerse al ver aparecer en el umbral a Harry, que sonrió al ver a aquel hombre, pero casi al mismo tiempo, se percato de su presencia y la sonrisa se apago en sus labios.
- ¿Sucede algo, Harry? – le pregunto el hombre observándole preocupado.
- No, no ocurre nada Aidan – aseguro Harry apartando la vista de inmediato, pero fue demasiado tarde, pues Aidan dirigió la vista hacía donde segundos antes la había tenido el moreno, y descubrió al rubio observándoles fijamente.
- Err... ¿Quién es ese sujeto Harry?, ¿Lo conoces? – le pregunto un tanto inseguro.
- Yo... Él... Es un viejo amigo... – respondió Harry algo incomodo.
- ¿Seguro?, porque si te esta molestando puedo ir a hablar con él, y... –
- ¡No! – le interrumpió Harry escandalizado – No hay necesidad de eso Aidan, él vino desde lejos para arreglar unos problemitas entre nosotros, pero... Bueno, digamos que el tiempo no ha sido suficiente para poder curar las heridas... – intento explicarle Harry, nervioso de que Aidan fuera a hablar con Draco.
- ¿Problemas entre ustedes? – repitió Aidan, y no pudo evitar volverse a observar al hombre rubio con recelo - ¿Qué clase de problemas? –
- Pues... Problemitas... De confianza y ese tipo de cosas... – intento explicarle, sabiendo hacía donde iba dirigida la pregunta de Aidan, pero negándose a decirle la verdad.
- Ya veo. Bueno, pero si te molesta avísame y lo pondré en su lugar – se ofreció sonriéndole galante, y Harry sólo atino a sonreír avergonzado, sabiendo que un ligero rubor le había subido al rostro.
- Gracias Aidan, pero de verdad que no hará falta, no tienes porque molestarte – le aseguro intentando dejar de sonreír tan estúpidamente, pero no podía dejar de sentirse avergonzado.
- No es ninguna molestia Harry, haría cualquier cosa por ti y lo sabes – le dijo casi en un susurro mientras se acercaba un poco al moreno, y justo cuando alargaba la mano hacía su rostro, Ethan apareció y se interpuso entre ambos volteando a ver a su papá y saltando con los brazos extendidos hacía arriba.
- ¡Papá, papá, lo que dejaste en la lumbre esta echando humo! – le dijo mostrándose alarmado, y sabiendo lo que su hijo tramaba, Harry decidió darle gusto.
- Discúlpame un momento Aidan, necesito ir a verificar lo que deje en la lumbre – se excuso, y antes de que el otro pudiera decir algo, se alejo hacía la cocina.
Ethan aprovecho aquello para sonreírle triunfador a Aidan, y antes de que éste pudiera decir o hacer algo, se alejo corriendo detrás de su padre.
Desde la distancia, Draco estaba intentando contener sus ganas de ir y romperle la cara a aquel idiota, y no necesitaría la varita para eso, con las manos le bastaba en aquellos momentos. Tampoco dejaba de sentirse asombrado por aquel pequeño; Parecía bastante astuto y sabía jugar sus cartas a la perfección, sobre todo cuando se trataba de alejar a la gente que pretendía a su padre, en lo que tenía que agradecerle, porque si no hubiera intervenido en el momento preciso, él lo habría hecho, y no de una forma tan tranquila como lo había hecho el pequeño.
- _"Cuando se entere que tú también pretendes ganarte el corazón de su padre, te mandara a freír espárragos" _– comento la vocecita en su interior con burla, y Draco supo que tendría que concederle la razón aunque no le agradara en lo absoluto.
Al poco rato, Ethan y Harry volvieron a salir al umbral, pero en esta ocasión Ethan no se fue, permaneció de pie junto a su padre con tranquila indiferencia, y por las caras de frustración que el hombre ponía, Draco supo que no le hacía gracia que el pequeño estuviera ahí, aunque por el contrario él lo agradecía, sirve que el tipo no intentaba pasarse de listo.
- Bueno, entonces eso es todo – comento Aidan cuando hubieron terminado de revisar todos los puntos que necesitaba – ¿Te parece si te veo el lunes a las 9:00 en el café de siempre para que me enseñes lo que llevas? –
- Si, me parece bien – accedió Harry sonriendo divertido. Sabía que a Ethan no le agradaba Aidan, y que a Aidan le frustraba la presencia de Ethan porque siempre se portaba impersonalmente frió con él, pero no había mucho que pudiera hacer, a Ethan nunca le agradaba la gente que intentaba pretenderlo, y él ya les habías dicho a ambos que intentaran llevarse mejor, pero al parecer su hijo no daba su brazo a torcer, y vaya que era tan terco como sólo un Gryffindor podía serlo.
- _"Nada mejor que un hijo sobre protector con su padre como chaperón"_ – había comentado alguna vez Hermione con burla, y él sabía que era verdad.
- Perfecto. Bueno, me retiro. Que disfrutes el fin de semana, Ethan – y aunque intento hacerle una caricia en el cabello al pequeño antes de marcharse, éste se aparto con tanta delicadeza y una sonrisa dulce adornando su inocente rostro, que nadie podría haber dicho que se hubiera comportado maleducado o grosero, y sin embargo, Draco sabía por el brillo glacial que metalizaba los grises ojos de Ethan, que no deseaba a aquel hombre cercas, y que aunque todos sus movimientos eran estudiados y cuidadosos, intentaba dejarle en claro que no sólo no le caía bien, si no que lo odiaba, y que lo preferible era que se mantuviera alejado de su padre.
- Gracias – respondió con tono amable y un ligero asentimiento de cabeza – Espero que tú también disfrutes del fin de semana, Aidan –
Aidan sólo se limito a asentir con la cabeza hacía Ethan, para después volverse hacía Harry de nuevo.
- Entonces te veo el lunes. Cuídate mucho Harry – y sonriéndole, se alejo hacía su auto, y durante el trayecto no pudo dejar de observar a aquel hombre rubio que le dirigió una impenetrable y fría mirada.
De pronto detuvo sus pasos, y sin poder evitarlo, dirigió su vista hacía Ethan, para después volver a dirigirla hacía el hombre rubio frente a él.
- Que estupideces... – murmuro negando con la cabeza para alejar aquella desquiciada idea que se le había instalado de pronto, y dispuesto a no prestarle más atención a eso, siguió caminando hacía su auto.
Desde donde estaba, Draco siguió con la mirada a aquel hombre, y cuando se fue en su auto, volvió su vista hacía la casa de Harry, pero la puerta ya estaba cerrada. Suspirando, volvió a entrar al carro dispuesto a seguir esperando.
* * *
- ¿Es necesario que lo vayas a ver el lunes? – no pudo evitar preguntarle Ethan en cuanto entraron en la casa y Harry cerro la puerta.
- Si. Ya sabes que es mi representante, Ethan – le respondió Harry sonriéndole divertido mientras se dirigía hacía la sala.
- Pero puedes buscarte otro representante, uno que sepa separar el trabajo de su vida personal... – propuso el pequeño sin querer darse por vencido.
Harry sólo se limito a reír tranquilo mientras se sentaba en el banquillo frente al piano y abría la tapa. Ethan se acerco, pero no se sentó al lado de su padre en el banquillo como solía hacer, sólo se recargo contra el piano dispuesto a escuchar. Era verdad que le fascinaba tocar el piano en compañía de su padre, pero más le fascinaba ver y escuchar a su padre tocarlo solo; Le gustaba mucho los sonidos que su padre era capaz de arrancar del piano, la pasión con que tocaba cada pieza, la entrega total en sus movimientos y gestos. Era como ver tocar a un profesional.
* * *
- ¡Corre que se hace tarde, papá! – exclamo Ethan apresurándose hacía la puerta, y al abrirla, se detuvo.
Apenas le dirigió una mirada a Draco antes de negar con la cabeza y dirigirse hacía el auto. La verdad que aquel hombre se le hacía muy extraño, no terminaba de entender por qué tanto interés en hablar con su padre, al grado de permanecer todo el día afuera de la casa.
- _"Es extraño"_ – pensó antes de entrar y encerrarse en el auto a la espera de que su padre saliera de la casa.
No tardo mucho, y cuando Harry salió, también apenas le dirigió una mirada a Draco, misma mirada que el Slytherin respondió con una sonrisa coqueta, mientras encendía su auto listo para seguir a Harry.
- Otra vez estaba esperando – comento Ethan en cuanto Harry entro al auto – Parece que esta completamente decidido a que le des una oportunidad, y esta dispuesto a hacer lo que sea necesario... ¿Tan malo fue lo que te hizo que no deseas darle esa oportunidad? –
- Ethan, hay cosas que no podrías comprender todavía... – intento explicarle Harry, luchando contra la incomodidad que sentía al escuchar a su hijo defendiendo a Draco.
- Inténtalo – pidió Ethan observándolo decidido.
- Es una larga historia que te contare algún día, pero aún es muy pronto para eso... Ten algo de paciencia, Ethan... – respondió Harry, negándose a contarle a su hijo la historia que había detrás de aquel hombre, una historia que recordarla aún le dolía demasiado...
Ethan ya no volvió a preguntar nada, presintiendo que en verdad a su padre le costaba demasiado recordar aquellos sucesos en particular, y se limito a ver por el espejo el auto de aquel extraño hombre.
Cuando llegaron a su destino, se bajo del auto y espero a que su padre llegara a su lado para que entraran juntos; Era una rutina que había adoptado desde que aprendió a caminar, y no le molestaba en lo absoluto.
- ¡Por aquí, Ethan! – le llamo una voz suave pero potente, y al dirigir la mirada hacía la entrada del enorme y amplio edificio frente al que se habían detenido, vio a una niña que agitaba la mano en el aire mientras le llamaba sonriendo entusiasmada. Era de su misma edad, pero algunos centímetros más bajita, de largos cabellos rojizos, y grandes y expresivos ojos violeta - ¡Apresúrate, la clase esta por comenzar! –
- Parece que Kiara esta muy emocionada – le comento Harry sonriendo divertido, y pudo ver a su hijo desviar la mirada ruborizado, sin embargo, le tomo sólo algunos segundos recuperarse y enfrentar las verdes orbes de su padre con determinación.
- ¿Me puedo ir adelantando? – pregunto, y aunque tenía toda la intención, no pudo evitar que su voz temblara.
- Anda, yo te alcanzo – concedió Harry sonriéndole mientras revolvía los oscuros y rebeldes cabellos de su hijo, que con una sonrisa enorme, se alejo hacía la entrada, o más específicamente, hacía donde Kiara le esperaba.
- Todo un Don Juan – comento la voz de Draco a su lado, y no que no lo hubiera sentido, en todo momento fue conciente de la cada vez más notoria cercanía del rubio, pero estaba tan ocupado con su hijo, que decidió no prestarle demasiada atención.
- ¿Sigues con esa idea de seguirme para que te de la oportunidad de explicarme? – le pregunto con inexpresividad y sin detenerse.
- Si – respondió Draco tranquilo, observando al pequeño que ya había llegado al lado de la niña y le sonreír galante, intentando que su nerviosismo no arruinara su papel de caballero.
Lo vio decirle algo y hacer una inclinación respetuosa, para después abrirle la puerta y cederle el paso a la pequeña.
- Tengo una duda... – murmuro de pronto, observando a Harry que sonreía orgulloso, sonrisa que se borro cuando se volvió a verlo.
- No sé si puedo o quiero responderla – le advirtió con tono ácido.
- ¿Tu hijo es mago, o es un Squib? – pregunto con el mayor tacto que fue capaz de encontrar.
- Un mago – se limito a responder Harry, sin siquiera molestarse en mirarlo.
- ¿Es fuerte? – bueno, sólo tenía pensado preguntar una cosa, pero su curiosidad había podido más que él.
- No te importa – y como siempre, Harry había cortado de cuajo la pregunta, sin siquiera dar muestras de dudar entre responderla o no, simplemente con un tajante: No te importa.
- ¿Cuántos años tiene? – bien, lo sabía, sabía que debía mantenerse callado para que Harry no terminara echándolo de su lado, pero es que en verdad sentía curiosidad al respecto.
- No te importa Draco, y deja de preguntar – le atajó Harry mirándolo con frialdad.
- Dentro de poco entrara a Hogwarts – comento como quien no quiere a la cosa - ¿Le has hablado sobre eso, o a caso te negaras a dejarlo asistir? –
- Mi hijo asistirá a Hogwarts cuando llegue su momento, Draco, y sabe todo lo que necesita saber sobre ese mundo, y ya deja de preguntar, no es un asunto que a ti te importe, no es tu hijo – y sin más, se adentro al edificio.
Draco por su parte, se quedo de pie frente a las puertas procesando la información que Harry había soltado a regañadientes. Aquel pequeño sabía todo lo que necesitaba del Mundo Mágico, sabía que era un mago, lo que significaba que ya había tenido algunas muestras de su mágia, y no era muy pequeño, debía andar entre los nuevo y los diez años, casi el mismo tiempo que tenía Harry de haber desaparecido del Mundo Mágico...
- _"¿No te parece esto completamente extraño?"_ – pregunto la vocecita en su interior, y la escucho aún cuando una parte de él se resistía tajantemente – _"Se parece muchísimo a Harry, pero, ¿No se te hace raro que se niegue a hablar sobre la madre del pequeño?, debe ser una mujer muy especial, ¿Has notado que Ethan es más blanco que Harry?, y esos ojos grises... Su edad también debe de ser muy importante, porque si no, no se negaría tanto a hablar sobre ello... Y por lo que parece, Ethan no tiene menos de siete años, ¿Acaso tan pronto se olvido de ti y se metió con alguien más?, no lo creo, ¿Y sabes lo que yo creo?, que ese hijo también es tuyo, y Harry quiere ocultártelo..."_ –
Bien, la semilla de la duda ya había sido plantada, y Draco no tardo demasiado en reaccionar. Corriendo siguió al moreno, y cuando lo vio, lo sujeto del brazo para evitar que siguiera avanzando.
- ¡Ey!, ¿Qué demonios te pasa, Draco?, ¡Suéltame! – le increpó Harry, pero aunque intento soltarse no pudo, Draco lo tenía firmemente agarrado.
- Harry, ¿Quien es la madre de ese niño? – le pregunto sin rodeos, observando a Harry a los ojos.
- Ya te dije que eso no es de tu incumbencia – le retó Harry mirándolo con furia, pero Draco alcanzo a percibir un destello de miedo y dolor en aquellas orbes verdes.
- No, quiero saber quien es la madre de ese niño, Harry; ¡Enséñame alguna foto! – exigió, y pudo ver que la determinación del moreno vacilaba.
- Su madre esta muerta Draco, ya te lo había dicho, y no tengo porque enseñarte ninguna foto – respondió cuando se repuso, y la ferocidad en sus ojos, sólo consiguió que Draco se sintiera más confiado al hablar.
Con movimientos rápidos, y aprovechando que el pasillo estaba solitario, arrincono al moreno contra una de las paredes, y previendo que intentara alejarse, hizo presión con su cuerpo, sintiendo al Gryffindor tensarse ante el contacto de su cuerpo.
- No me enseñaras ninguna foto, porque no la tienes, Harry – le susurro al oído, deleitándose con la cercanía de aquel cuerpo que nunca había dejado de amar.
- ¡Aléjate! – le gruño Harry apartando el rostro, negándose a dejar crecer aquel sentimiento en su interior, y sintiendo un aguijonazo de dolor al tenerlo tan cercas.
- No Harry, quiero que me digas la verdad, quiero saber quien es la madre de ese niño, ¿Cuántos años tiene?, ¿Por qué guardas esa información con tanto recelo? – siguió preguntándole en un susurro desesperado, y antes de poder pensarlo siquiera, comenzó a besar y lamer el lóbulo de la oreja de Harry.
Sintió a Harry tensarse mucho más, y segundos después, intentar alejarlo, pero Draco no se lo permitiría, y ejerció mayor presión sobre el cuerpo del Gryffindor para evitar que siguiera peleando.
- Draco... Por favor... Detente... – fue apenas un susurro desesperado, pero Draco lo escucho a la perfección, y haciendo acopio de toda su fuerza, dejo de lamer y besar el oído de Harry, pero no se alejo del moreno.
- Es mentira que la madre de Ethan halla muerto, ¿Verdad? – inquirió aún en susurros junto al oído de Harry, y lo sintió tensarse de nuevo, aunque en esta ocasión no estaba seguro de si era por su cercanía, o por lo que le estaba diciendo – Si, es mentira, porque Ethan es mi hijo, mi hijo y el tuyo, ¿No es así? –
- ¡No! – grito Harry desesperado, y sin que Draco pudiera preverlo, una violenta fuerza lo estrello contra el muro, al tiempo que pudo sentir levemente, cómo la mágia del moreno se extendía a lo largo del pasillo - ¡Ethan no es tu hijo!, ¡Aléjate de él y aléjate de mi! – siguió gritando sin detenerse a meditar, porque era más el miedo que sentía de revivir el pasado.
Aún aturdido, Draco logro ponerse de pie, pero cuando quiso acercarse a Harry, una fuerza lo volvió a lanzar contra la pared, aunque en esta ocasión, sin la misma potencia que la vez anterior.
- ¡No te quiero cercas, Draco Malfoy!, ¡Ethan no es tu hijo, sal de mi vida de una maldita vez! – exclamo Harry mirándolo con odio, y Draco pudo ver el dolor y el coraje brillando en las orbes verdes.
- ¿Entonces porque tiene los ojos grises como yo y la piel pálida? – se atrevió a preguntar, aferrando su varita por si hacía falta.
- ¡No eres el único que tiene los ojos grises y la piel pálida, ególatra estúpido! – respondió Harry a gritos, y con un movimiento de su mano, volvió a estrellarlo contra la pared con fuerza.
- ¡Demonios Harry, ¿Si no es nada mío porque te pones así?! – contraataco Draco, intentando reponerse al segundo golpe, pero sentía todo el cuerpo sacudido y la cabeza le dolía.
- ¡No es nada tuyo, aléjate de mi o te matare con mis propias manos, Draco! – le advirtió Harry, negándose a responder aquélla pregunta, y respirando agitadamente, convoco toda la mágia que había dispersado por el pasillo.
Sólo hasta ese momento, Draco se percato de que la mágia que había sentido antes, Harry no la había lanzado por lanzarla, no, eran varios conjuros para mantener alejada a la gente, y conjuros muy poderosos que no les permitirían acercarse, romperlos, o escuchar lo que fuera que pasara en aquel lugar.
- Harry... – dijo levantándose lentamente, sintiendo el cuerpo adolorido – No me voy a ir hasta que no respondas mis preguntas y me permitas explicarte lo que... Lo que paso hace años... –
- No... No me interesa saberlo – le respondió Harry cortante, intentando estabilizar su agitada respiración.
- Pero a mi si me interesa – refutó Draco.
- ¿Por qué tendría que interesarme?, a ti no te interesó lo que yo quería cuando decidiste abandonarme – increpó Harry mirándole molesto.
- Déjame explicarte lo que sucedió aquella vez, Harry, sólo así podrás entender, y quizás sólo de esa forma puedas perdonarme – pidió Draco intentando acercarse, pero Harry le apunto con la varita manteniéndolo a distancia.
- No te acerques, Draco – le advirtió con frialdad – No me interesa lo que hiciste en su momento, ya no me interesa, cada quien tomo la decisión que creyó conveniente, pero no te daré ninguna oportunidad de mentirme de nuevo: Ya no creo en ti, Draco Malfoy, y lo mejor es que te marches –
- No, no me voy de aquí sin hablar contigo, y si me vas a hechizar cada vez que intente acercarme, inténtalo entonces, pero no me iré hasta que me hallas escuchado, y si tú no quieres decirme nada sobre ese niño, entonces yo lo averiguare por mi propia cuenta – no era una advertencia, era un aviso, y recomponiendo su aspecto, Draco le dirigió una última mirada a Harry antes de abandonar el edificio – Me voy, pero ten por seguro que regresare. Te ame y te sigo amando, y créeme que alejarte de mi, fue el peor error que pude haber cometido, pero no pienso cometerlo de nuevo, no me daré por vencido de nuevo – y antes de que Harry pudiera decir algo más, se alejo, dispuesto a descubrir todo lo que fuera necesario sobre aquel niño
Por su parte, Harry lo siguió con la mirada hasta que lo perdió de vista, antes de bajar la varita. Sabía que se había metido en un serio problema, y necesitaba hablar con alguien o estallaría.
Saco su teléfono celular y presiono una tecla.
- _¿Si?_ – respondió la voz de Hermione al otro lado de la línea.
- Hermione, necesito hablar contigo, es urgente. ¿Puedo verte en tu casa? – pregunto.
- _Por supuesto Harry, ¿Esta todo bien?_ – pregunto a su vez Hermione, se escuchaba preocupada.
- No, en realidad no... – respondió Harry con sinceridad.
- _Muy bien, me voy para la casa ahora mismo, te veo halla_ – le aviso Hermione, y enseguida se escucho que colgó el teléfono.
Harry no tenía ánimos para conducir, así que decidió usar la Aparición. Ya después regresaría por Ethan y por su auto, ahora necesitaba hablar con urgencia con alguien, y no había nadie mejor para eso que Hermione.
* * *
**_Holas!!_**
**_Bueno, aquí esta el siguiente capitulo!! No creo haberme tardado demasiado en actualizar xD_**
**_Igual muchisimas gracias por sus comentarios!! Eso me anima a seguir y actualizar con rápidez n.n_**
**_Saludos!!_**
8. CAPITULO 8
**Capitulo 8: **
- No será sencillo acercarse a ese niño, no debemos olvidar de quién es hijo – comento uno de los hombres sentados a la larga mesa de aquélla cavernosa habitación.
- ¿Entonces que proponen? – pregunto una de las mujeres.
- Quizás espiarlo – propuso otra con entusiasmo malsano.
- No podemos, seria demasiado riesgoso – objetó Lucius negando elegantemente con la cabeza – Lo que debemos hacer es atacarlos de sorpresa para que se encuentren desprevenidos; Espiarlos sólo hará que con el tiempo se percaten de nuestra presencia, no olviden que Potter puede sentir las presencias mágicas y no sabemos que radio pueda alcanzar su habilidad –
- Pero atacarlos sin un plan también puede ser peligroso para nosotros – contradijo uno de los hombres con toda tranquilidad – Necesitamos por lo menos tener algunos datos de las defensas mágicas que rodean a ese pequeño, no creo que Potter lo deje sin defensa alguna –
- Entonces quizás yo les pueda ser de ayuda, señores – comento una figura entre las sombras, una a la que nadie le había prestado atención alguna, como hacían con la mayoría de los que permanecían de pie en la oscuridad.
- ¿Quién esta ahí? – pregunto uno de los hombres.
- ¡Muéstrate! – ordeno otro con tono autoritario.
- Vaya, si que son rudos – volvió a comentar la voz con diversión, y con una risita suave y burlona, dio algunos pasos hasta quedar a la vista de los hombres y mujeres que se encontraban sentados a la larga mesa.
- ¿Quién eres? – le pregunto una de las mujeres mirándolo con recelo.
- Mi nombres es Matt Lemus – se presento haciendo una exagerada reverencia, sin que de su boca se borrara aquella sonrisa divertida, y todos pudieron ver aquel brillo de maliciosa determinación brillando en sus azules ojos.
- ¿Y como nos ayudara? – inquirió otra de las mujeres volviéndose hacía Lucius, intuyendo con acierto, que aquel jovencito había venido por invitación suya, ya que había sido el único que no se había mostrado asombrado por la intervención de aquel muchacho.
- Es verdad, es sólo un muchachito, ¿Cuántos años tiene?, no puede tener demasiada experiencia – comento uno de los hombres mirándolo con desconfianza.
- Señores, puedo verme joven, pero le aseguro que tengo la edad suficiente como para ayudarles; Ya verán que no tendrán que preocuparse por mi – respondió Matt sin dejar de sonreírles, apartando de su frente, los mechones castaños que caían ligeramente desordenados.
- Lemus trabaja como Investigador Privado dentro del Mundo Mágico, y fue uno de los que estuvo a cargo de dar con el paradero de Potter, por lo que tiene en su poder información que nos puede ser útil si queremos tenderle una emboscada a Potter – les informo Lucius sonriendo con arrogancia.
- Ya veo... ¿Y que nos puedes decir al respecto, jovencito? – pregunto uno de los hombres con curiosidad, observando a aquel joven que no parecía tener más de 25 años.
- Yo me acerque a él junto con otro compañero, y como teníamos el antecedente de que era capaz de percibir la presencia mágica de la gente a su alrededor, tuvimos que usar hechizos muy poderosos, que pudieran ocultar nuestra mágia – comenzó a explicarles sin dejar de sonreír, pero su rostro había cambiado, ya no era el de un jovencito emocionado, si no el de un adulto altanero que sabe lo que quiere, y la mejor forma de obtenerlo – No estuvimos cercas de él durante mucho tiempo, pero si el suficiente como para percatarnos de los poderosos conjuros que bloquean su casa. Hay algunos que hacen la casa tanto de Potter como de los Weasley Inmarcable, y otros más de protección que la hacen casi impenetrable; La verdad es que son conjuros muy buenos y poderosos que tomaría demasiado tiempo franquear, así que si quieren mi opinión, no seria una buena idea tratar de atacar la casa, lo mejor es atacarlos fuera de esta... –
- Ya veo – comento uno de los hombres, meditando la información que acababan de escuchar.
- ¿Potter lleva alguna clase de protección cuando esta fuera de su hogar? – pregunto una de las mujeres.
- ¿Y que hay de su hijo? – inquirió otra con el mismo interés.
- Lamentablemente – intervino Lucius – Lemus no pudo averiguar nada sobre el hijo de Potter porque su trabajo era encontrarlo y avisar sobre su residencia en cuanto fuera encontrado, así que no tuvo tiempo de investigar sobre el niño, sin embargo – continúo antes de que los magos y brujas protestaran por aquello – Esta dispuesto a regresar una vez más para investigar las protecciones que rodean a aquel pequeño –
- La casa no es invisible para los Muggles, pero es imposible que un mago común la localice – volvió a explicar Matt sin dejar de sonreír – Al parecer hay hechizos muy poderosos que pueden bloquear la mágia que hay en la casa, para que nadie pueda detectar actividad mágica en ella, y ese mismo hechizo lo trae el señor Potter, y eso, junto con los cambios que a tenido con el tiempo, lo hacen irreconocible para quienes han dejado de verlo desde su última batalla contra el Señor Tenebroso, a menos claro, que busquen la cicatriz en su frente con mucho detenimiento, y eso se vería muy sospechoso, porque créanme, esa cicatriz ya no se le nota tanto como antes, por no decir que ya no se nota. No estoy seguro de si su hijo lleva la misma protección, pero es muy seguro que así sea; los Weasley también llevan esa protección cuando no se encuentran trabajando, ya que trabajan para el Ministerio Alemán –
La sala cayó en silencio, mientras todos y cada uno de los presentes pensaba en lo que había escuchado de aquel chico.
- ¿Y cuando comenzaras a investigar sobre el hijo de Potter? – fue la pregunta que rompió el silencio en exclamaciones de aceptación, haciendo que tanto Lucius como Matt sonrieran satisfechos de los resultados.
* * *
- ¿Y si te quedas esta noche? – pregunto Hermione intentando convencer al moreno, mientras junto a su esposo, lo acompañaban a él y a Ethan a la puerta.
- Ya es muy noche y no quiero causar molestias – respondió Harry sonriéndole agradecido. Hermione no lo había dejado marcharse, sobre todo porque se encontraba bastante alterado, así que le llamo a Ron y le pidió que recogiera a Ethan y trajera el auto de Harry a la casa, cosa que el pelirrojo hizo en seguida. Una vez reunidos en casa, habían dejado a Ethan leyendo uno de los tantos libros que Hermione tenía en su biblioteca, mientras los tres platicaban en la cocina con el pretexto de que prepararían la cena.
- Sabes que no es ninguna molestia amigo – contradijo Ron poniéndole la mano sobre el hombro, intentando de esa forma que supiera que no estaba solo – Puedes quedarte en la casa el tiempo que gustes. Mi casa es tu casa, ¿Recuerdas? –
- Si, lo recuerdo – respondió Harry sonriéndole divertido – Y no sabes cuanto les agradezco todo el apoyo que me están dando, pero Hermione tiene razón, Ron, no puedo estar huyendo de esto. Dejare que Draco averigüe todo lo que quiera, a final de cuentas no será mucho, el Tratado Mágico me protege y protege a Ethan –
- Es verdad – coincidió Hermione – El Tratado Mágico de Identidad los protege a ambos; A Malfoy le será difícil encontrar la información que busca –
- Pero no imposible – observo Ron, y los tres se quedaron en silencio. Era verdad, siempre había forma de conseguir cierta información.
- No importa lo que suceda, Harry, sabes que estamos contigo y que te apoyaremos en lo que haga falta – le recordó Hermione aforrándolo del brazo con tristeza.
- Lo sé, Hermione – respondió Harry asintiendo con seriedad.
- Es verdad, no estas sólo, en todo caso, quien debe preocuparse es él – coincidió Ron asintiendo fervientemente con la cabeza.
- Gracias – fue todo lo que pudo decir Harry.
- Yo también estoy aquí – intervino por primera vez Ethan, y aquello llamó la atención de los adultos, porque de regular, Ethan jamás se entrometía en sus platicas; Sabía cuando debía mantenerse al margen de lo que hablaban los demás, pero en esta ocasión había decidido intervenir – Estoy aquí contigo, papá – le dijo sonriéndole con cariño, mientras sus grises ojos brillaban con calidez al contemplar a su padre, a la persona que más quería en el mundo – Y puedo ser muy pequeño aún, pero estoy aquí y te quiero mucho –
- Lo sé campeón, lo sé – respondió Harry hincándose para abrazarlo, sintiendo los bracitos de su hijo rodearlo con fuerza, intentando mostrarle que pese a ser pequeño, también podía ser de ayuda.
- ¿Lo ves?, ya somos tres los que te estamos apoyando – comento Hermione sonriendo enternecida ante la imagen frente a sus ojos.
- Y no importa lo que pase, estaremos contigo – le aseguro Ron, completamente dispuesto a romperle el cuello a Malfoy, si decidía volver a hacer sufrir a su mejor amigo.
* * *
Tenía mucho trabajo, pero por el momento esa no era su prioridad, ya Dilan se encargaría de solucionar los problemas que pudieran surgieran en su ausencia, por algo le pagaba la cantidad que le pagaba.
- ¿Mando llamarme, amo Malfoy? – pregunto una voz profunda y rasposa tras él, y volviéndose sobre sus talones, contemplo al viejo Elfo Domestico de saltones ojos violetas, aquella servicial criatura que desde sus tiempos en Hogwarts, y más durante La Segunda Guerra, se había convertido en su fiel amigo y confidente; La única criatura por la que él sentía aprecio. Ahora estaba algo más viejo que en aquellos tiempos, pero aún así la mágia de los Elfos Domésticos siempre había sido poderosa, y cuanto más viejos, más sabios y poderosos; Era lo mismo que con los magos.
- Así es Kerpel – respondió caminando hasta el Elfo, que lejos de sentir miedo, hizo una reverencia ante el rubio.
- Usted dirá, amo –
- Necesito que investigues algo... Algo sobre Harry Potter... ¿Lo recuerdas? – inquirió Draco, mirándolo ansioso y a la vez nervioso, intentando ocultar aquellas emociones que le asaltaban al traer a flote aquellos recuerdos. Pudo ver al viejo Elfo levantar sus ojos hacía él con el reconocimiento e el interés brillando en las orbes violetas antes de hablar.
- El Chico-Que-Vivió, el muchacho del que el joven amo esta enamorado, aquel que venció al señor tenebroso en séptimo año, un chico de brillantes ojos verdes como la esmeralda, y desastroso cabello negro como la noche – respondió sin dudar, y Draco casi sonrió ante eso.
- Así es Kerpel. Es bueno saber que tu memoria aún funciona – comento divertido. Aquel Elfo fue el primero de todos los que le rodeaban, en percatarse de sus sentimientos por el gryffindor, y siempre le dio sabios consejos al respecto, ayudándolo a entender aquel sentimiento primero, y a ganarse el corazón de aquel testarudo león después, lastima que no siempre escuchara los consejos de aquella sabia criatura, porque si lo hubiera hecho, no habría cometido los errores que cometió, y por los que aún seguía sufriendo.
- ¿Y que desea el amo que haga? – pregunto el Elfo con suavidad, sabiendo que se había sumido en sus recuerdos, y que su voz lo traería de regreso al presente.
- Él se encuentra viviendo aquí en Alemania, y fui a visitarlo para hablar con él. no es necesario que diga que esta muy molesto y no quiso hablar conmigo, pero lo que más me sorprendió fue saber que tenía un hijo... – comenzó a explicarle, sabiendo que el Elfo le prestaba completa atención, y que no lo interrumpiría hasta que terminara – Tendrá a lo mucho nueve años, y Harry me dijo que la madre del niño murió cuando éste nació, pero se niega a darme la edad de su hijo, y ahora me siento un tanto confundido... Siempre que hablamos del niño él se tensa y se pone agresivo, no le gusta que hable de su hijo, y comienzo a sospechar que no hay una madre, que ese hijo es de Harry... Y mío... Yo... No tengo como probarlo. Fui al Ministerio Alemán en busca de los registros de nacimiento del niño porque eso puede darme varias respuestas, pero parece que hay una especie de contrato mágico que protege cualquier tipo de información sobre Harry o Ethan, así que lo que quiero, es que vayas al Ministerio Alemán y busques los registros de nacimiento de ese niño... ¿Crees poder? –
- No será fácil traer esa información de un lugar como el Ministerio, pero haré todo lo que pueda – respondió el Elfo, y haciendo una nueva reverencia, desapareció con un suave "Pop".
Durante algunos segundos, Draco se quedo observando el lugar en el que el Elfo había estado antes de desaparecer, confiando en que si había alguien que podría ayudarlo con eficacia y fidelidad, ese será sin lugar a dudad Kerpel.
* * *
- ¿Sabes?, creo que tu plan tiene un pequeñísimo problema, Lucius – comento Matt mientras observaba al hombre rubio sentado tras su finísimo escritorio.
- Y yo creo que te tomas demasiadas confianzas – observo Lucius, dándole a su tono un claro matiz de advertencia.
- Lucius, te recuerdo que yo no soy uno de tus tantos seguidores, nosotros somos socios. Estoy ayudándote no por servirte, y ni mucho menos porque te tenga miedo, lo hago porque hacerlo me beneficia a mi, así que espero que halla quedado claro que yo trabajo para mi mismo – declaro Matt, y auque sonreía divertido, el frió brillo en sus azules ojos desmentía aquel gesto amigable y tranquilo, dándole la pauta a Lucius de que hablaba muy en serio.
- Todo un Slytherin a final de cuentas – comento Lucius restándole importancia por el momento – Haz lo que quieras, pero si arruinas mis planes, te juro que te destrozare con mis propias manos –
- Descuida, ya te lo había dicho, sólo me importa algo, en cuanto lo obtenga me quitare de tu camino y no volverás a saber de mi – concedió Matt sin dejar de sonreír divertido.
- Me parece perfecto – acepto Lucius sonriendo de lado - ¿Y que es ese pequeño fallo que según tú, tiene mi plan? –
- Vaya, por fin me escuchas – comento Matt sonriendo irónico – Pues es simple, han estado hablando de el hijo de Potter como un mago, pero nadie lo ha visto, ¿Y si es un Squib? –
- Estarás bromeando... Es el hijo de Potter, no creo que sea ningún Squib, debe ser un mago muy poderoso – negó Lucius sin permitirse mostrar el ligero miedo que lo había embargado al escuchar aquello, porque había sido algo que no había tomado en cuenta – En todo cado encárgate de averiguarlo cuando estés allá –
- Ya imaginaba que no lo habías tomado a consideración. Esta bien, me haré cargo de averiguar eso también y te traeré la información lo más pronto que me sea posible – accedió Matt, y sin dejar de sonreír divertido, salió del despacho.
- Es un muchachito engreído – murmuro Lucius una vez que se hubo quedado solo – Pero no me interesa, mientras no me estorbe y haga lo que necesito de él, lo dejare que haga lo que le plazca, y quien sabe, si es de utilidad, quizás podríamos dejarlo con vida... –
* * *
**_Holas de nuevo!!_**
**_Aquí esta el nuevo capitulo!! n.n_**
**_Espero les sea de su agrado y puedan dejarme sus comentarios. Una de ustedes me había preguntado si tenía más historias, y pues yo puedo recomendarles la de Herencia Veela que en estos momentos me encuentro escribiendo, y va por su capitulo 3! Si quieren ver el resto de mis historias, sólo den click a mi nombre, y ello los llevara a mi historias donde estan todas las historias que he escrito n.n_**
**_Bueno, me retiro! Gracias por sus comentarios!! Saludos!!_**
9. CAPITULO 9
**Capitulo 9:**
Draco no dejaba de dar vueltas en la sala de su casa. Kerpel todavía no había regresado, y aunque sabía que era imposible que regresara tan rápido, no podía parar de sentirse nervioso, esperando y rogando por que el Elfo regresara lo antes posible, aunque como buen Malfoy que era, su rostro no mostraba ni pizca de aquel nerviosismo.
- _"Vamos Draco, contrólate, Kerpel tiene la orden de regresar en cuanto encuentre lo que le has mandado a buscar…"_ – pensó intentando controlar su nerviosismo, y estaba por dar la décimo sexta vuelta a la sala, cuando escucho el singular "Pop" que anunciaba el regreso de Kerpel.
Tuvo que contenerse para no salir corriendo al encuentro del Elfo, y algunos segundos después, Kerpel se le unió en la sala. Lucia ligeramente nervioso, pero entre sus manos tenía un pergamino amarillento y viejo, que hizo que el corazón de Draco diera un vuelco.
- ¿Lo encontraste? – no pudo evitar preguntar, y ni se molesto en ocultar la ansiedad que sentía, no por nada Kerpel había sido su confidente durante años.
-Kerpel encontró lo que el amo Draco lo mando buscar – confirmo el Elfo haciendo una reverencia mientras le extendía el pergamino, que Draco tomo con manos temblorosas.
Una vez que lo tuvo en sus manos, se pregunto si en realidad quería leerlo. Hasta ahora había podido mantener viva la esperanza de que Harry no hubiera rehecho su vida con alguien más, aún pese a la existencia de aquel pequeño, pero sabía que una vez que leyera aquello, ya no habría marcha atrás, y no estaba seguro de querer leerlo y encontrar el nombre de alguien más junto al de Harry.
- No es malo pelear por alguien a quien se quiere, amo Draco, y el joven Harry no pudo haberlo olvidado tan pronto cuando lo amaba más que a su vida misma – le dijo el Elfo, y cuando el rubio observó los enormes ojos violetas del viejo Elfo, supo que no le importaba si en aquella acta había un nombre al lado del de Harry, él lucharía por recuperarlo, por demostrarle que lo amaba, y que en esta ocasión, se quedaría a su lado.
Asintió en dirección al Elfo para mostrarle el agradecimiento por su apoyo, y aún con manos temblorosas, se animó a desdoblar la carta.
No perdió tiempo y busco el nombre de los padres, encontrándose con una enorme sorpresas: Que sólo estaba el nombre del moreno, después de la palabra "Padre gestante", modo en que se dirigían en el Mundo Mágico, al hombre que llevaba adelante un embarazo.
Aturdido por aquel descubrimiento que confirmaba sus dudas y revivía sus esperanzas, se dejo caer en el sillón dispuesto a leer con detenimiento el acta. Lo primero que descubrió, fue que el acta había sido expedida en Alemania, aunque aquello no le asombró demasiado. Después de bajar un poco más su mirada por aquel pergamino, se fijo en la fecha de nacimiento del niño.
- 13 de Agosto de 1998... – leyó en voz alta, intentando focalizar aquella época en su mente – Casi seis meses después de que Harry derrotara a Voldemort… - murmuró, y casi enseguida, aquella fastidiosa vocecilla se hizo presente.
- _"Y siete meses después de que decidieras terminar con él"_ – le recordó con crueldad, haciendo que Draco comprendiera algo que hizo que su estomago se retorciera ante el conocimiento.
- Cuando decidí terminar con él, ya tenía algunas semanas embarazado… - murmuró acongojado, preguntándose por qué el moreno nunca le había dicho nada.
- _"Puede que no lo supiera"_ – razono la vocecita, y casi en seguida, agrego: - _"O puede que estuviera buscando la forma de decirte, cuando decidiste terminar con él"_ –
Aquello fue más de lo que Draco podía soportar; Aún recordaba el dolor brillando en las acuosas orbes verdes, mientras el moreno le pedía casi con desesperación que le explicara el por qué de aquella decisión tan drástica,
- _"Después de como lo trataste aquella vez, no es de asombrarse que no halla querido decirte que estaba embarazado"_ – comentó la vocecita con tono crítico, y Draco no pudo evitar sentirse mucho más miserable de lo que ya se sentía.
* * *
No había podido dormir bien, así que a primera hora de la mañana, se levanto de la cama y se dirigió a su despacho, en donde se mantuvo intentando ponerse al corriente en la historia que había dejado pendiente dos días atrás, y sin embargo, nada de lo que escribía lo complacía.
Molesto por no haber podido avanzar nada, golpeo su puño contra el grueso escritorio de caoba, gruñendo improperios en busca de liberar algo de la tensión que había ido acumulando con el paso de las horas.
Aunque lo había intentado, no había podido evitar recordar lo sucedido con Draco el día anterior, y aquello dio la pauta a que los recuerdos que guardaba recelosamente en lo más profundo de su mente, despertaran de su letargo.
- Maldito rubio endemoniado – murmuró furioso, pero se detuvo al sentir la magia de Ethan moviéndose en la habitación del pequeño, sabiendo que su hijo acababa de despertar por fin – Demonios, no he hecho el desayuno – recordó, y se apresuro a levantarse de la silla de piel negra.
-Buenos días, papá – saludó Ethan en cuanto lo vio salir del despacho en donde regularmente se encontraba cuando estaba trabajando, pero una sola mirada le basto para saber que éste no había dormido bien, claro, eso siempre y cuando hubiera podido dormir.
- Buenos días, hijo – respondió Harry sonriéndole cariñoso mientras revolvía los oscuros y rebeldes mechones – No he hecho el desayuno, así que tendrás que esperarte algunos minutos más –
- No te preocupes – le respondió Ethan sonriéndole con calidez, mientras veía a su padre dirigirse a las escaleras para bajar a preparar el desayuno.
Observándolo bajar las escaleras, no pudo evitar preguntarse qué había sucedido el día de ayer, que había dejado a su padre mucho más serio y distraído que antes. Nadie se lo había dicho, pero por las pocas frases que había alcanzado a captar en la casa de sus tíos, sabía que tenía que ver con aquel hombre rubio, de hecho, desde que aquel hombre había aparecido en sus vidas, su padre parecía más distraído, molesto y hasta nervioso, aunque no terminaba de comprender cómo era posible que aquel hombre desatara esas reacciones en su papá, cuando era el hombre mas paciente y tranquilo que Ethan hubiera conocido jamás.
- _"Pues ya no permitiré que siga haciéndolo sufrir"_ – pensó con determinación – _"Nadie puede venir a arruinar nuestra tranquila vida, mucho menos después de todo lo que mi papá a sufrido, no ahora que a logrado recuperar su tranquilidad"_ – y con ese pensamiento, bajo las escaleras esperando reunirse con su padre en la cocina para intentar ayudarlo en lo que hiciera falta.
* * *
- Sigues preocupado – no era una pregunta, era una afirmación, y a Ron no le quedo más remedio que sonreír a su esposa, que lo observaba desde la puerta de la recamara.
- Seria imposible no estarlo – murmuró observando a su castaña y hermosa esposa, sonriéndole con nostalgia, mientras su voz reflejaba la tristeza que sentía – Pensé que ahora podría vivir tranquilo después de todo lo que le ha sucedido… Primero Voldemort mata a sus padres cuando él es apenas un bebe, luego, tiene que ir a vivir a casa de sus dementes tíos que lo maltratan durante años sin que nadie haga algo por evitarlo, y cuando por fin es salvado, descubre que su vida no era lo que le habían hecho creer… Era un mago, al igual que lo habían sido sus padres, pero no cualquier mago, si no uno muy poderoso, y también famoso dentro de las Comunidades Mágicas… Pero como siempre, no podía haber sólo felicidad en su vida, y descubrió que era famoso porque había derrotado a un Mago Tenebroso, el mismo que arrebato la vida a sus padres cuando sólo era un bebé, y que pese a todo lo que la gente quería creer, no estaba muerto, si no que esperaba la oportunidad para regresar al poder y matarlo como había sido su plan original... Cuando entro a Hogwarts, era un niño demasiado inocente e ingenuo, a pesar de todas las desgracias por las que había pasado, sin embargo, el Mundo Mágico le quito eso y lo obligo a madurar... Poco a poco fue aprendiendo a sujetar correctamente su varita, a conjurar hechizos letales y a defenderse con todos los recursos de los que era capaz, a matar, aún cuando nunca quiso hacerlo, a vivir cuidándose las espaldas porque había cientos de personas dispuestas a matarlo... Es asombroso pensar que aunque la gente siempre lo lastimo, él nunca perdió su nobleza, esas ganas de ayudar al prójimo, aunque el prójimo jamás lo mereció... Cuando la guerra se desato por fin, Harry parecía cada día más abatido: La gente moría a su alrededor y los que sobrevivían lo culpaban por no terminar con esa locura... Y justo cuando parecía que Harry no podría seguir aguantando todo eso, apareció Malfoy en su vida, y contra todo lo pensado, se convirtió en un apoyo para Harry... Todo estaba bien hasta que el maldito hurón decidió darle la espalda a Harry en el momento en el que más lo necesito... – su voz se contrajo por la rabia ante el recuerdo, y Hermione, quien había permanecido en el quicio de la puerta escuchando, se acerco hasta él para abrazarlo, conciente de los sentimientos de su esposo ante aquellos recuerdos que llevaban enterrados más años de los que podía recordar – Pocos meses después se llevo acabo la pelea decisiva... Era matar o morir... Recuerdo que Harry se encontraba muy nervioso e inseguro, y que los hechizos que lanzaba, no eran ni la mitad de buenos que durante los entrenamientos, lo que llevo a muchos de los que se encontraban con nosotros, a pensar que habían depositado sus esperanzas en un niño asustado, y sin embargo, lo protegieron y lo obligaron a rezagarse, a que peleara lo menos posible para evitar que se cansara o saliera lastimado antes de tiempo... Conforme el tiempo en aquel combate paso, Harry se fue mostrando más seguro, y junto con ello, sus conjuros fueron más letales... Cuando el momento decisivo llego, no pudimos estar con él, los Mortígafos nos lo impidieron, aunque no hubiera servido de mucho, porque casi al instante de que empezaron la pelea, un campo de fuerza nos impidió interferir... En algunos momentos lo vi caer alcanzado por alguno de los hechizos que no logro esquivar, pero siempre lograba levantarse, y cada vez que lo veía caer, no podía evitar contener la respiración asustado, rezando por que se levantara de nuevo, y lo hacía... Voldemort no estaba en mejor condición, ya que Harry también logro tocarlo en varias ocasiones con hechizos potentes, sin embargo, parecía más fresco que Harry, y eso me asustaba... En varias ocasiones intente ayudarlo, pero ese escudo no me lo permitía, me repelía al igual que lo hacía con cualquiera que intentara pasarlo o destruirlo, ya fuera bueno o malo... – Hermione lo abrazó con fuerza sintiendo la frustración en la voz del pelirrojo. Ella no había estado en la batalla, porque Ron había insistido en que permaneciera en el cuartel, y aunque conocía la historia que la mayoría de los presentes habían narrado sobre la batalla final, el pelirrojo se había negado a contarle, a tener q1ue revivir de nuevo aquel infierno, así que escucharlo después de tanto tiempo, le había sorprendido bastante. Para ella, tener que esperar había supuesto una tortura mucho peor que mil Cruciatus, sobre todo porque a cada rato llegaban heridos o incluso muertos, y sólo podía rogar porque su por aquel entonces novio, y su mejor amigo casi hermano, no llegaran entre aquellos que ya no podrían ver la conclusión de aquélla nefasta guerra – Pronto hubo un resplandor cegador proveniente de aquel escudo que les protegía de los demás – siguió relatando Ron, atrayendo de nuevo la atención de la castaña – Casi al mismo tiempo, un sonido estremecedor lleno el lugar obligándonos a cerrar los ojos y cubrir oídos en busca de mitigar el ensordecedor sonido... Cuando por fin pudimos ver, el enorme escudo había desaparecido y el pasto parecía haber sido consumido por el fuego... Sin perder el tiempo me dirigí hacía ahí rezando porque Harry aún estuviera con vida, y no tarde en ver a Voldemort y a Harry de pie en medio de aquel páramo desolado... Ambos demasiado heridos, con la sangre escurriendo y sus ropas rasgadas, pero de pie, mirándose con odio visceral... Aquella visión me obligo a detenerme. Los dos se veían demasiado cansados, pero si juzgábamos por apariencias, era Harry quien peor se veía: Respiraba trabajosamente, y se notaba que le costaba demasiado trabajo mantenerse de pie, pero entonces sucedió lo inesperado: Voldemort soltó su varita, y casi puedo recordar el sonido de la madera golpeando contra el suelo... Al segundo siguiente, un gemido escapo de sus labios, y se desplomo al suelo... Durante algunos segundos me sentí aturdido; No terminaba de comprender lo que había sucedido, y me negaba a sentirme feliz antes de tiempo, pero al no ver movimiento en aquel cuerpo laxo en el suelo, por fin tuve la certeza de que había terminado, y fue entonces que me volví hacía Harry deseoso de compartir esa victoria con él, porque lo había logrado, había mandado a ese maldito bastardo al otro mundo, pero justo entonces, lo vi cerrar los ojos y dejar caer su varita al tiempo que se desplomaba en el suelo con una sonrisa triste… Toda aquella tranquilidad se esfumo, y sin perder el tiempo, corrí a su lado rogando porque no estuviera muerto, y una vez que comprobé que aún estaba vivo, lo lleve a San Mungo sin perder el tiempo, tan sólo dirigiendo una última mirada al campo de batalla, para constatar que la pelea había terminado, y que los nuestros se encontraban deteniendo a los pocos Mortígafos que no habían logrado darse a la fuga… En cuanto llegue, los Sanadores se hicieron cargo de él, y mientras, yo intentaba convencerme de que se salvaría, de que todo estaría bien, pero la espera ante cualquier noticia sobre su salud era insoportable… Ya no recuerdo cuanto tardaron en salir, quizás fueron siete o nueve horas, pero cuando uno de los Sanadores salió, su expresión me hizo temer lo peor… Saber que dentro de él había otra vida que también luchaba por vivir, y que Harry intentaba salvar a un acosta de la suya propia, fue demasiado para mi… No pude evitar sentirme miserable por no poder hacer nada por ayudarlo, y me odie por ello, pero sobre todo, odie al mundo por tratarlo de esa forma, por no permitirle ser feliz como merecía… - Hermione pudo escuchar la voz de su esposo quebrarse ante el recuerdo de aquellos momentos, pero lo entendía a la perfección, porque también para ella la espera ante cualquier noticia sobre ellos había sido un tormento, y cuando por fin se entero de que ambos se encontraban en San Mungo, no se detuvo a preguntar por el ganador, no le interesaba, sólo deseaba saber que ellos estaban bien. Cuando se topo con Ron y comprobó que no tenía heridas demasiado serias, se sintió tranquila, pero enterarse de que Harry luchaba en aquellos momentos por su vida, le arrebato aquella pequeña felicidad, y las horas que pasaron esperando cualquier noticia sobre su salud, fue mucho mas que un tormento, hasta que por fin, uno de los Sanadores salió, y no pudo evitar temer lo peor ante la expresión que llevaba; Enterarse que su amigo estaba grave, y embarazado, fue más de lo que pudo soportar y rompió a llorar desconsolada, preguntándose una y otra vez por qué aquellas cosas le pasaban a gente tan buena y noble cono lo era Harry – Lo odie, en ese momento odie a Draco Malfoy más de lo que creí poder hacerlo – confesó Ron apretando los dientes y los puños, ya sin importarle que las lagrimar corrieran libres por su rostro. No se avergonzaba de ello - Ya no sólo deseaba ir a partirle la cara, deseaba matarlo con mis propias manos, sentir su sangre escurriendo entre mis dedos, ver como la vida abandonaba sus endemoniados ojos, y en ese momento no me habría importado ir a Azkaban si conseguía mi objetivo, pero no me lo permitiste, porque era en este momento en que Harry más nos necesitaría… Cuando por fin lo estabilizaron y pudimos verlo, contarle lo del bebé fue difícil, pero él no dijo ni hizo nada, sólo se limito a dirigir sus apagados ojos hacia la ventana, y perderse en sus pensamientos; Ni siquiera lloro, y eso me hizo sentir mucho peor, porque sabía que estaba demasiado lastimado, tanto, que ya no fue capaz de expresar aquel dolor a través de gritos o llantos… Duro bastantes días en recuperación, y cuando por fin lo dejaron salir, en verdad pensé que los estudios lograrías distraer un poco su mente, sobre todo teniendo en cuenta que dado su estado, estaba recibiendo clases particulares, pero no fue así, y aún ahora no puedo evitar pensar que de no haber sido por que regrese por ese libro, él se habría suicidado… Aquello me dio la pauta de la magnitud con que Harry sentía todo aquel dolor, y trate de ayudarlo, ambos lo hicimos, pero él se negaba a dejarse ayudar, sólo quería hundirse en aquel abismo, perderse dentro de él para siempre, y eso me desesperaba y dolía… -
- Fue entonces que tomamos la decisión de alejarlo de el entorno que tantos recuerdos le traía – comentó Hermione con la voz entrecortada por el recuerdo de aquellos días, pero sabiendo que Ron ya no era capaz de continuar – Para cuando nos graduamos, logramos convencerlo de irnos a vivir a Alemania, y aunque no le entusiasmaba mucho la idea, accedió. Pensamos que de esa forma, su salud emocional mejoraría pronto, pero no fue así, y volvió a intentar suicidarse… Era desesperante verlo hundirse sin desear o aceptar la ayuda, y justo cuando perdíamos las esperanzas, nació Ethan… En verdad fue un regalo del cielo, porque gracias a él, Harry poco a poco fue recuperando sus ganas de vivir y salir adelante, ya si no por él mismo, por su hijo, a quien pese a todo lo que pensábamos al inicio, amó con todo su ser… -
- Gracias a Ethan, Harry fue recuperando las ganas de vivir y la libertad de disfrutar de su vida – intervino Ron ahora un poco más relajado ante el recuerdo del nacimiento de Ethan – Poco a poco fue superando el dolor por la muerte de tanta gente, sobre todo de la que quería y estimaba… Había arrastrado consigo todo ese sufrimiento, pero por fin se mostraba dispuesto a afrontarlo, y cuando apenas comenzaba a vivir con tranquilidad y felicidad, ese imbécil llega trayendo con él desagradables recuerdos, creyéndose con el derecho de ser escuchado después de todo el daño a que ha causado… -
- Pero Harry es fuerte, y el amor por su hijo le ayudara a salir adelante… - comentó Hermione, aunque ella misma intentaba convencerse de sus palabras, preguntándose internamente, como reaccionaria el pequeño ante una noticia como esa, porque si bien era un niño inteligente, había cosas para las que el tiempo no lograba prepárate.
- Espero que tengas razón – murmuró Ron aún algo inseguro.
- Casi siempre la tengo, mi amor – bromeo Hermione para intentar alivianar el ambiente, y logro que una sonrisa aflorara en el rostro del pelirrojo – Será mejor que nos apresuremos o llegaremos tarde –
Ron se limito a asentir y se apresuro a terminar de cambiarse.
* * *
_**Holas! Pues aquí les traigo un nuevo capitulo que espero sea de su agrado! n.n Y quiero darle las gracias a todos aquellos que se toman un momento de su tan presiado tiempo, en escribirme sus comentarios, que a mi me ayudan mucho para ver como perciben la historia n.n**_
_**Un saludo a Alejandra Chii, Tsuzuki Yami, Fran Ktrin Black, y mila22, que me dejaron sus comentarios! A los que pueda, yo les respondo sus comentarios, a lo que no, igual les agradezco muchisimo el apoyo! n.n**_
_**Saludos!!**_
10. CAPITULO 10
**Capitulo 10:**
- ¡Bravo!, ¡Bravo! – vitoreó Ethan cuando Harry termino de tocar la melodía en piano – ¿Ahora puedo intentarlo yo? –
- El trato fue que yo tocaba, y tú te irías a dormir terminando la melodía, ¿No es así, jovencito? – le recordó Harry con voz tranquila, sonriéndole cariñoso.
- Awww, ¡Pero quiero tocar! – se quejó Ethan haciendo un puchero.
- Eso no te funcionará en esta ocasión, jovencito, hicimos un trato y ahora te toca a ti cumplirlo – le respondió Harry impasible.
- ¿Ni siquiera un pedacito de la melodía? – intento convencerlo Ethan, haciendo que su voz sonara lo más suplicante, y mirándolo con cara de perrito abandonado.
- Ni siquiera un pedacito – acotó Harry sonriéndole divertido – Ahora ve a lavarte los dientes, que en unos minutos más subo a... – pero el sonido del timbre le interrumpió.
- ¡Yo abro! – exclamó Ethan, y salió corriendo en dirección a la puerta para evitar ir a dormir.
En cuanto la abrió y contemplo a aquel hombre rubio, se irguió, y con fría elegancia, lo recorrió con la mirada.
- ¿Se le ofrecía algo? – le preguntó por fin, y su voz sonó fría y distante, pero sin llegar a ser maleducado.
- Quisiera hablar con tu padre – le respondió Draco con voz impersonal, pensando en que de pronto, ese niño se estaba comportando con él, como lo había hecho con aquel otro hombre.
- ¿No cree que es muy noche para estar importunando? – le preguntó Ethan, y le dirigió una mirada reprobadora, sin cambiar su tono frió e indiferente.
Por suerte, Draco no tuvo tiempo de responder, porque en ese momento, Harry apareció en el pasillo.
- ¿Quién es, Ethan? – le pregunto acercándose.
- ¡Nadie papá! – exclamó Ethan cerrándole la puerta al rubio en las narices – Sólo un vendedor ambulante –
Sin embargo, el timbre volvió a sonar, y ante la mueca fastidiada de su pequeño, Harry se acerco a abrir.
- Dra... Draco... – murmuró cuando lo vio.
- Tienes un niño muy simpático, Harry – le saludo a su vez Draco, mirando de reojo al pequeño, que le sostuvo la mirada retante y frió.
Harry desvió la mirada hacía Ethan, preguntándose por qué su hijo había hecho algo así, si apenas comenzaba a conocer a Draco.
- ¿Qué es lo que quieres? – le preguntó no obstante, manteniendo el control sobre su voz impersonal.
- Necesito que hablemos – le respondió Draco, y la mirada que le dirigió, le bastó a Harry para saber de lo que quería que hablaran.
- Ethan, ve a lavarte los dientes, en unos minutos voy a arroparte – le ordeno, y aunque Ethan hubiera deseado protestar, no lo hizo, porque el tono serio de su padre, no admitía replica alguna.
- Esta bien – respondió resignado, pero antes de irse, le dirigió una fría mirada a aquel hombre – Buenas noches, señor – y diciendo esto, se retiro hacía las escaleras.
Harry apenas se aseguro que su hijo subiera las escaleras, antes de cerrar la puerta y dirigirle una mirada gélida a Draco. Al mismo tiempo, el rubio pudo sentir la mágia de Harry rodeándolos a ambos.
- Habla lo que tengas que hablar y lárgate – le acotó Harry antes de que Draco pudiera decir nada, y aunque su voz fue bajita, destilaba frialdad y veneno en cada palabra – Pero escucha bien lo que te digo, porque no lo repetiré de nuevo, y tampoco consentiré que sigas haciendo lo que quieres: Me dirás lo que vayas a decirme, y después de eso te marcharas de Alemania y nos dejaras en paz a mi hijo y a mi –
- A nuestro hijo, Harry – le corrigió Draco, y ante la mirada asombrada del moreno, le mostró el acta de nacimiento de Ethan.
- ¡No es tu hijo, Draco! – le atajó Harry recobrándose de la sorpresa inicial, y arrebatándole el acta de las manos.
- Ethan nació en agosto de 1998, lo que quiere decir que ahora tiene ocho años, y que cuando tú y yo terminamos, tenías dos meses de embarazo – le dijo Draco, haciendo un esfuerzo considerable por mantener el control de si mismo. Ya había olvidado lo fácil que el moreno lograba sacarlo de sus casillas.
- ¡También pudo haber sido un parto prematuro, so tonto! – le espetó Harry molesto.
- ¡No me creas idiota, Harry! – grito Draco ya molesto por las constantes negativas del Gryffindor, presintiendo que no importase que tan algo gritaran, nadie los podría escuchar – La única forma de que Ethan tenga la edad que tiene, halla nacido en el momento que nació, y no sea mi hijo, es que justo después de que termináramos, te hubieras metido a la cama con el primer estúpido que vieras, ¿Acaso el despecho te orillo a comportarte como...? – pero no terminó la frase, porque antes de eso, el puño de Harry se estrello con fuerza en su rostro, haciéndolo que diera unos cuantos pasos hacía tras debido al impacto, antes de que lograra recuperar el equilibrio.
- ¡Que tu fueras un bastardo, no significa que yo también fuera a caer tan bajo como para revolcarme con el primer idiota que se me parara enfrente! – le espetó Harry furioso.
Durante algunos segundos, Draco lo observó asombrado, y aunque una parte de él estaba furiosa porque Harry seguía negándose a decirle la verdad, y aparte lo había golpeado, también sabía que se lo merecía, porque esa frase que había lanzado a causa de la frustración, había sido demasiado hiriente y completamente falsa; Él mejor que nadie sabía que durante todo el tiempo que anduvieron, Harry fue mucho más fiel que él, y que después de haber terminado, tuvo que enfocarse de lleno en los entrenamientos para sobrevivir a la batalla final que ya se veía venir.
- Entonces, ¿Por qué no hay otro nombre junto al tuyo? – le preguntó sobándose la mejilla en donde Harry le había soltado el puñetazo, intentando que su voz sonara calmada, aunque más bien había sonado frustrada - ¿Dónde esta el verdadero padre del niño? –
- Eso no es de tu incumbencia, Draco – le acotó Harry dándole la espalda mientras sujetaba la perilla de la puerta dispuesto a entrar en la casa; Antes de volver a hablar, cerró los ojos intentando tranquilizar sus nervios y calmar el coraje que sentía bullir en su interior – Es mejor que te marches y no regreses. Aquí ya no hay nada para ti, todo lo que pudo haber, lo abandonaste aquélla noche en La Sala de Los Menesteres sin contemplación alguna –
- ¡Es verdad! – exclamó Draco, y fue el sonido derrotado y dolido en la voz del rubio, lo que detuvo a Harry de girar la perilla para abrir la puerta y entrar a su casa, más no se volvió, permaneció de espaldas a él con los ojos fuertemente cerrados mientras escuchaba – Aquella noche cometí el peor error de mi vida, y no ha pasado una sola noche en que no me arrepienta de ello, en que no extrañe el sonido de tus risas, el brillo de tus ojos, tu buen humor y tu positivismo, y en más de una ocasión desee tener en mis manos un Giratiempo para regresar a aquella noche y evitar decir todo aquello, para evitar perder lo único que realmente importó en mi vida, para evitar perderte a ti... No me di cuenta en ese instante, pero cuando salí de esa habitación, no sólo renuncie a ti, también renuncia a ser feliz... –
- Es triste que te hallas dado cuenta tan tarde – murmuró Harry en voz lo suficientemente alta como para que el rubio lo escuchara con claridad, intentando sin éxito, que su voz no denotara la tristeza que sentía.
- Voldemort iba a matar a mis padres, Harry – intentó explicarle, aprovechando que parecía estar dispuesto a escucharlo, aunque aquello sonó más a una suplica que a una explicación, pero no le importo, ahora ya no tenía importancia que rogara, no si con eso podía obtener aunque fuera una pequeña oportunidad de volver a estar a su lado – No tenía más remedio que unirme a él, y no quería que te lastimaran, por eso decidí romper cualquier relación contigo, porque de esa forma, aún si mis barreras mentales no funcionaban y Voldemort lograba leer mi mente, no me podría usar para llegar a ti, ya que tú no confiarías en mi... Lo hice por protegerlos... –
- Aún si por eso hubiera sido, tenía derecho a saber – habló Harry, aún dándole la espalda, e intentando que su voz sonara indiferente, aunque no logro desterrar del todo aquel matiz de dolor – Con esa decisión no sólo destruiste tu vida, Draco, también destruiste la mía; Tomaste una decisión por mi, sin saber lo que yo diría o haría, y ahora estas enfrentando las consecuencias de ello... Lo siento, yo no puedo hacer nada por ti... –
- ¡Te lo suplico, Harry! – pidió Draco, y antes que Harry lograra darle la vuelta a la perilla, Draco lo tomo de la mano hincándose a su lado.
Lentamente, Harry se volvió para contemplar a Draco, y se asombro al ver los ojos brillosos a causa de las lágrimas contenidas.
- Sé que fui un estúpido, se que cometí muchos errores y que no tenía derecho a elegir por ti en algo que también te afectaría, pero en ese momento me pareció lo mejor para ambos... Yo... Yo tenía pensado hablar contigo después de que la batalla terminara si es que salía con vida, pero te mantuvieron en San Mungo durante muchos días, y en Hogwarts te mantuvieron constantemente vigilado y en clases particulares, lo que me impidió acercarme. Lo intente en muchas ocasiones, pero me fue imposible llegar hasta ti, y de pronto, un día me entere de que habías desaparecido del Londres Mágico junto con Granger y Weasley. Te busque, ¡Juro que te busque!, pero los Weasley se negaban a decirme tu paradero, argumentaban que no lo sabían, y ni aún los mejores investigadores pudieron dar contigo, y te busque por más de dos años... – le explico, aferrando con decisión el brazo de Harry para evitar que se le fuera, y no le importo que su voz se escuchara desesperada, o que aquélla maldita lágrima escapara de su ojo con rebeldía.
- Son palabras que en aquel momento me habrían convencido, pero has tardado ocho años en decirlas, Draco – le dijo Harry intentando que su voz no temblara demasiado, aún cuando una parte de él pedía a gritos que lo abrazara y le perdonara todo lo que había sucedido – En verdad lo siento… Quizás… Quizás lo mejor sea que cada quien siga su camino y… - pero sus palabras fueron acalladas por los labios de Draco, que desesperado ante lo que escuchaba, se levanto y aprisionando a Harry entre su cuerpo y la puerta, lo beso con desesperación.
Durante algunos segundos Harry no se movió, demasiado asombrado ante lo que Draco estaba haciendo, y cuando lo hizo, no fue exactamente para separarlo. Había anhelado durante noches enteras sentir aquellos labios sobre los suyos una vez más con aquella misma pasión, que no fue consciente de cuando comenzó a corresponder el beso.
Las manos de Draco aferraron el cuerpo moreno con posesividad mientras ambas lenguas se enlazaban intentando ganar terreno la una sobre la otra. Habían sido tantas noches de desear aquello, que no se detuvo a pensar en nada, sólo en saborear de nuevo aquellos labios, de poder volver a tocar aquel cuerpo que durante años le había sido negado, y pronto, una de sus manos comenzó a acariciar la espalda de Harry, zafando la camisa para poder introducir ambas manos y tocar la cálida piel morena.
- Draco, detente – pidió Harry apartando la boca mientras intentaba recobrar la respiración.
- Por favor, Harry, te lo suplico – pidió Draco en un susurro desesperado intentando normalizar su agitada respiración, sin apartar el rostro del de Harry, apoyando su frente en la del moreno buscando aquellos labios que el moreno ya no le permitía alcanzar – Sólo… Sólo dame la oportunidad, no necesitas hacer nada, yo te probare que estoy arrepentido y que no volverá a suceder… - le siguió susurrando.
- Ya no hay nada que debas o puedas hacer, Draco, date cuenta esa noche destruiste todo lo que había, que destruiste mi vida y estuviste muy cercas de destruirme a mi, que levantarme me costo muchísimo, que si no hubiera sido por Hermione y Ron, no estaría en estos momentos aquí… – le susurró Harry apartando la cara para evitar que Draco volviera a besarlo, e intentando que su voz no temblara o se quebrara. Sentía un hueco en el estomago ante todos aquellos sentimientos que le inundaban, y los ojos se le habían llenado de lagrimas que se negó a soltar – Por favor vete y déjanos en paz, Draco, si… Si en verdad aún sientes algo por mi, en nombre de eso que sientes, vete de Alemania y… - al escuchar todo aquello, las manos de Draco aflojaron un poco su agarre en torno a la cintura de Harry, sintiendo como aquellas palabras se clavaban como filosas dagas en el centro de su corazón - Y no vuelvas nunca más… Por… Por favor…No vuelvas… – cerró los ojos al escuchar aquello, y unas cuantas lagrimas escaparon de sus ojos, al tiempo que sentía el cuerpo moreno darle la espalda y abrir la puerta, para alejarse de sus brazos dispuesto a entrar en la casa.
No levantó la mirada ni le impidió alejarse, porque de pronto ya no se sentía con la confianza o el valor de hacerlo, porque por primera vez se daba cuenta del real daño que le había causado al moreno, y por eso no vio las lágrimas que bañaban el rostro del moreno cuando se volvió a mirarlo sin ser capaz de ocultar en su voz el dolor que sentía.
- Yo… Lo siento, Draco, siento… Siento mucho que hallas dado una vuelta en vano… espero… Espero que puedas hacer tu vida de nuevo… Adiós… - le susurró, observando por ultima vez al rubio, cerró la puerta bajando la mirada la suelo.
Aún cuando había escuchado la puerta cerrarse y la despedida definitiva del moreno, no se movió de donde estaba, y tampoco se molestó en secar las lágrimas que ahora corrían libres por su rostro, porque ya no tenía importancia alguna. Poco a poco, el peso de todo aquel dolor le obligo a hincarse con la frente recargada contra la fría madera de la puerta, dejando que el dolor, la desesperación y la frustración salieran de su cuerpo en forma de aquel amargo llanto.
* * *
Sin saberlo, del otro lado Harry se había dejado caer al suelo con la espalda recargada contra la puerta, y con la cabeza contra las rodillas, también lloraba el dolor que su propia alma sentía, con una sola pregunta rondando su cabeza sin descanso alguno.
- _"¿Habré hecho lo correcto?"_ –
* * *
**_Holas!_**
**_En verdad lamento haberme tardado tanto s El capitulo ya lo tenía desde hace varias semanas, pero no había tenido chanse alguno de subirlo, en primera, porque trabaje durante las vacaciones, y en segunda, proque ya he regresado a la escuela -.- Para quienes quieran una explicación algo más larga y leen Herencia Veela, ahí podrán encontrarla xD_**
**_Igual tratare de actualizar cuanto antes el siguiente capitulo que ya lo tengo casi terminado! Así que sólo tenganme paciencia, por favor!_**
**_Y gracias por sus comentarios! n.n_**
11. CAPITULO 11
**Capitulo 11**
Tres semanas. Tres semanas completa sin la intromisión de Draco, sin su presencia aparente por ningún lado, y una semana en la que Harry parecía haberse sumido en la depresión absoluta, intentando con grandes esfuerzos salir adelante por su hijo y sus amigos, ocultándoles aquel dolor que le oprimía dolorosamente el pecho dificultándole respirar, y aunque era un maestro en ocultar cosas a los demás, tenía la ligera sensación de que Ethan no terminaba de tragarse el cuento de que le dolía la cabeza o simplemente se sentía cansado.
- ¿Ya te has despertado, papá? – pregunto la suave voz al otro lado de la puerta. Era verdad, ya se le había hecho tarde de nuevo, pero no sentía ganas de levantarse de la cama, de entrar en la rutina diaria como si nada sucediera. De pronto, sentía como si una parte de él le hubiera sido arrancada sin piedad alguna, y dolía muchísimo, pero sobre todo, más le dolía saber que esa sensación era causada ante el conocimiento de que ya no habría oportunidad alguna de que aquel rubio regresara a su vida de nuevo, y no porque no lo hubiera intentado, si no porque él mismo se lo había negado, él mismo lo había alejado de su vida y de la de su hijo. ¿Acaso tenía derecho a decidir en la vida de su hijo?, ¿No era egoísta decidir por él si tenía o no derecho de ver y conocer a su otro padre?, ¿Qué acaso no había sido exactamente ese egoísmo en Draco lo que los había separado a ambos por decidir sin preguntarle al respecto? Él no quería perder a su hijo, lo amaba demasiado, era todo para él, pero ¿Cómo podía contarle algo como eso?, ¿Cómo relatarle una parte de su vida que seguía firmemente enterrada en lo más hondo de su corazón porque aun dolía? – Papá, ¿Te sigues sintiendo mal? – la suave voz parecía asustada e insegura, y Harry se odio por ello, por estar haciendo sufrir a su hijo de esa forma, porque él no tenía la culpa de lo que había sucedido con ellos cuando eran jóvenes, porque él no tenía porque pagar sus errores, los errores de dos adolescentes inmaduros... No, no eran inmaduros en lo absoluto, aquellos tiempos los hicieron madurar quizás demasiado rápido, más de lo que les habría gustado en realidad; No, no era inmadures, fueron las circunstancias las que los obligaron a decidir, y cada quien tomo su decisión en aquel entonces, pensando en lo que para cada uno era correcto. En ese aspecto, incluso el mismo había tomado decisiones en relaciona ambos, sin consultar a Draco en lo absoluto, sólo porque el tiempo apremiaba y se necesitaba una respuesta – Te traeré alguna pastilla para el dolor de cabeza – ofreció la voz de Ethan, y Harry pudo escuchar los pasos alejándose en dirección a las escaleras. Saber que su pequeño se preocupaba demasiado por él le hacía sentir mucho más egoísta, una basura que no merecía esa atención. Draco cuando menos había tenido el valor de regresar a arreglar las cosas, de luchar por lo que creía que debía hacer, pero él, él se había ido a ocultar cuando todo aquello acabo, incapaz de enfrentar al mundo, ocultándose en una vida que si bien le era cómoda, no era en lo absoluta la que le habría esperado.
Se levantó de la cama secando las lagrimas que habían estado corriendo por su rostro, y respirando hondamente, se hizo el animo una vez más de salir de la cama, de seguir con aquella odiosa rutina, ya no por él, porque por él ya no podía hacer nada, su corazón estaba más roto que un vidrio al caer varios metros de altura y estrellarse contra el suelo. No, no por él, si no por aquel pequeño que ya subía las escaleras quizás con un vaso de agua y una pastilla, preocupado por la salud de su padre, por aquel pequeño que era su todo, y que lo había sido durante tantos años.
- "A final de cuentas él no tiene la culpa" – pensó saliendo de la cama para ponerse unos jeans azules.
- Aquí esta la pastilla, papá – comentó la voz de Ethan con la misma suavidad con la que le había estado hablando.
- Esta bien Ethan, puedes pasar. Ya mero termino de arreglarme – le respondió Harry, y al punto, la puerta se abrió con suavidad, al tiempo que la carita preocupada de Ethan asomaba en busca de su padre.
- ¿Ya te sientes mejor, papá? – le preguntó abriendo la puerta para entrar, y dejar la pequeña bandeja con el vaso de agua y la pastilla, sobre la mesita de noche.
- No te preocupes campeón, ya casi no me duele mucho la cabeza – le aseguró Harry sonriéndole, mientras se ataba los tenis - ¿Estas listo para ir a la escuela? –
- ¡Por supuesto! – exclamó Ethan emocionado, y Harry no pudo menos que sonreír complacido - ¡Y no olvides que mañana iremos a ver el campamento! –
- No lo olvido, campeón – le aseguro Harry alborotándole los cabellos ligeramente – Y ahora bajemos a desayunar antes de que se te vaya a hacer tarde –
- ¡Si! – exclamó Ethan y se apresuró a bajar corriendo las escaleras mientras Harry lo seguía con tranquilidad.
A final de cuentas no podía culpar a Draco de que no regresara, él mismo le había dicho que así lo hiciera, que se marchara, pero le daba coraje pensar que así de fácil el rubio había desistido, que así de fácil se hubiera olvidado de que tenía un hijo, y eso sólo le decía a Harry que había hecho lo correcto al tomar aquella decisión, aún cuando al hacerlo, la única esperanza que mantenía vivo su corazón, se hubiera esfumado.
Como todas las mañanas desde aquel día, el desayuno transcurrió en un aparente silencio, con Harry completamente sumido en sus pensamientos sin comer gran cosa, y con Ethan observándolo de reojo a ratos, preguntándose qué le sucedía a su padre, y sobre todo, qué había pasado aquella noche con el señor Malfoy, porque desde ese día, su padre había estado actuando de aquélla forma tan extraña.
- SI ya terminaste ve por tus cosas – le dijo Harry saliendo de su ensimismamiento y percatándose de que Ethan ya había terminado de desayunar.
- Si – respondió Ethan sin hacer la observación de que Harry no había terminado de desayunar, a final de cuentas ya tenía días que no terminaba lo que había en su plato.
Cuando salieron, Harry no pudo evitar observar el lugar en el que regularmente Draco aparcaba su coche en espera de que ellos salieran para seguirlos.
- _"Él se fue porque tú se lo dijiste"_ – le recordó aquella molesta voz en su cabeza – _"Él intento hacer las pases, pero te hiciste el difícil"_ –
- _"¿Y que se supone que tenía que hacer?"_ – pensó Harry mirando aquel lugar con frustrado resentimiento – _"¿Tragarme todo ese dolor que me causo?, ¿Hacer como si nunca sucedió?"_ – y suspirando resignadamente, se limitó a seguir a Ethan, que ya estaba en el interior del auto observándolo atentamente.
El camino hacía la escuela también lo hicieron en silencio, y cuando llegaron, Harry se apresuró a salir del auto para acompañar a Ethan a la entrada de la escuela.
- ¡Tío Ron! – exclamó Ethan al percatarse de la presencia del pelirrojo cercas de la entrada de la escuela, y sin esperar, corrió a abrazarlo.
Harry se detuvo en aquel momento y observó atentamente la escena. Hasta el momento Ethan no había hecho demasiadas preguntas sobre su otro padre, pero algún día comenzaría hacerlas, ¿Y que pasaría cuando se enterara de quien era y de que Harry no le había querido decir nada?, Ethan confiaba mucho en él y lo quería, pero, ¿Ese cariño podría soportar una mentira de ese nivel?, ¿Podría soportar el que por problemas personales entre ambos, le halla sido negado el tener un padre?, ¿Y que podía hacer él si Ethan se molestaba y dejaba de hablarle?, no creía poder soportar eso, no podría también perder a Ethan. De pronto, sus manos comenzaron a temblar ante aquel pensamiento, sintiéndose repentinamente inseguro y asustado ante la sola idea de que Ethan pudiera rechazarlo por haberle ocultado las cosas. Le habían contado la naturaleza de su nacimiento cuando tenía siete años, porque era lo suficientemente listo como para asimilarlo, sin embargo, se habían negado a decirle nada de su otro padre, ni siquiera el nombre. Jamás le dijeron nada sobre su otro padre, o inventado cosas para que le odiara, simplemente se habían negado a hablarle de él, porque Harry tenía pensado algún día cuando estuviera más grande, decirle quien era y dejarle que le conociera y él mismo le juzgara, sin embargo, ahora le estaba quitando esa oportunidad, estaba decidiendo por él, alejando a Draco de sus vidas por miedos propios. Podía juzgar a Draco como pareja, pero no como padre... ¿Era justo lo que hacía?
- Estas temblando – comentó Ethan observándolo preocupado cuando toco sus manos, y con ternura, las cubrió con las suyas besándolas suavemente mientras Harry lo observaba con lágrimas en los ojos – No te preocupes, yo estoy aquí para cuidarte, papá, así como tu cuidaste de mi con todo tu amor cuando nací y era muy pequeñito, o como cuando te armaste de paciencia para enseñarme a controlar mi mágia, al igual que como me cuidaste durante las noches que tenía miedo a la oscuridad o a las feas pesadillas –
Escuchar aquello y observar aquellas orbes grises llenas de amor y ternura, fue demasiado para Harry, que derrumbándose de rodillas, apretó a Ethan contra su cuerpo ocultando su rostro entre el hueco de su cuello y sus hombros, llorando por todo aquello que había pasado, por todo el dolor que había sufrido, por las amargas noches de soledad que paso, por el odio que sintió por Draco al abandonarlo, por el miedo a saber que esperaba un hijo y estaba solo, por todos aquellos años que tuvo que aprender a salir adelante por amor a aquel niño, por haber vuelto a ver a Draco de pie frente a su puerta, por haber descubierto con frustración que pese a todos los años y cosas pasadas, aún lo amaba, por que aún sabiendo que no lo deseaba, le dijo que se alejara, y porque había perdido la oportunidad de arreglar las cosas, de darle a su hijo un padre, aún cuando él no pudiera tenerlo a su lado como pareja...
- Tranquilo papi, todo esta bien, estoy aquí al igual que tío Ron y tía Hermione, aún cuando ella no este aquí presente. Estamos aquí contigo y no te dejaremos solo – le susurró Ethan abrazándolo preocupado. Nunca había visto a su padre llorar; De él sólo había visto sonrisas, alegría y amor. Varias veces se preguntó si su padre no lloraba o a veces se sentía mal emocionalmente como le sucedía a casi todo el mundo, y ahora que lo veía así, deseaba con fervor que volviera a sonreír, que volviera a mostrarse animado y alegre, porque le partía el corazón verlo sufrir, y no sabía que hacer o decir para evitarlo.
Cuando por fin Harry lo soltó, fue Ron quien hablo.
- Será mejor que entres a la escuela, Ethan, ya están por cerrar las puertas – le dijo con suavidad tomándolo de los hombros y sonriéndole. Podía ver la preocupación en aquel rostro infantil, y la decisión de no ir a ningún lado hasta saber que su padre estaba bien – No te preocupes campeón, yo lo cuidare. Ahora ve a clases –
Con cierta reticencia, Ethan se acerco y beso la mejilla de Harry acariciando su mentón.
- Todo esta bien, no pasa nada – le dijo sonriéndole para intentar animarlo.
- Lo sé. Ve a la escuela y a la salida paso por ti – le respondió Harry sonriendo ligeramente mientras acariciaba la mejilla de Ethan, que lo observó detenidamente a los ojos, antes de alejarse hacía la entrada, mirando ocasionalmente sobre su hombro con preocupación.
- Vamos amigo, será mejor que te levantes – le dijo Ron ayudándolo a levantarse del suelo en donde seguía arrodillado.
- Ron, ¿Crees que él será capaz de perdonarme que no le halla dicho que Draco es su padre? – le preguntó observando la puerta de la escuela que lentamente era cerrada por un tipo de seguridad.
- Ethan es un niño maravilloso, Harry, y te quiero mucho. Él sabrá entender tus razones, y puedo asegurarte que no dejará de quererte por las decisiones que tomaste intentando protegerlo – le respondió Ron observándolo serio y preocupado.
Hermione y Ron sabían lo que había sucedido, y a Ron no el faltaban ganas de ir a romperle la cara al rubio oxigenado por volver a hacer sufrir a su mejor amigo. Le dolía demasiado verlo así, tan cansado, tan dolido y resignado, sin demasiados ánimos de vivir, y luchando únicamente por aquel pequeño que amaba con el alma.
- Además, no le has mentido – le dijo Ron sin alterar su tono serio y tranquilo – Jamás le negaste que Draco fuera su padre, ¿O si? –
- Ethan no es tonto, Ron, y esa excusa no la creerá, sólo lo hará sentir rencor – le respondió Harry intentando controlar su tono de voz que comenzaba a temblar ligeramente – Es como yo, y estoy seguro que se molestara porque le he negado el derecho de conocer a su otro padre... –
- Lo haces porque lo amas, porque te preocupas por él y deseas protegerlo para que no sufra. Ya veras que lo entenderá – siguió diciéndole Ron poniéndole una mano en el hombro intentando animarlo.
- Dumbledore también hizo lo que hizo porque se preocupaba por mi y deseaba protegerme, deseaba que no sufriera, Ron, y jamás fui capaz de perdonarlo después de lo de Sirius... – recordó Harry mientras los ojos se le empeñaban ante las lagrimas.
- Ethan te ama y lo entenderá. Quizás es verdad que se enoje al principio, pero te ama y te sabrá perdonar – le aseguró Ron apretando un poco su mano sobre el hombro de Harry.
- ¿Y sabes que es lo peor? – le preguntó Harry sonriendo con ironía, lo que hizo a Ron alzar una ceja asombrado ante aquel gesto que dejaba ver no sólo aquella amarga ironía, si no a un hombre derrotado por una razón que no podía ser negada.
- ¿Qué? – preguntó casi con miedo.
- Que aún lo sigo amando como hace nueve años – murmuró con triste resignación.
Ron soltó ligeramente el aire que había estado conteniendo. Escuchar eso le partía el corazón, porque sólo traería más dolor a Harry. No podía hacer nada, sólo quedaba ver que era lo que deseaba hacer Harry.
- Sabes que te apoyamos en todo lo que decidas – le aseguró.
- No hay nada que decidir, Ron, él se ha ido y lo sabes – le dijo Harry sin alzar la vista del suelo.
- Ten por seguro que regresara, Harry, no se ira así como así. Es un orgulloso y testarudo. Veras que sólo esta intentando acomodar ideas, y cuando regrese... Creo que seria bueno que hablas con él sinceramente, y lleguen a una conclusión sobre ustedes, y... Y sobre Ethan – le aconsejó Ron.
- Lo siento en verdad... Les he hecho pasar por muchas cosas, y ahora les salgo con que no lo he olvidado – murmuró Harry sintiéndose derrotado y avergonzado.
- En el corazón no se manda, Harry, y por nosotros no te preocupes, estamos para apoyarte en lo que necesites, cuando lo necesites – le aseguró Ron.
- Gracias, Ron – le dijo Harry sonriéndole ligeramente.
- Para eso estamos los amigos, y ya sabes que tú eres para nosotros como un hermano al que cuidaremos y apoyaremos siempre – le respondió Ron sonriéndole también mientras le daba unas palmadas en la espalda – Vamos a desayunar a algún café, ándale –
* * *
**_Holas!!_**
**_Para los que leen Herencia Veela, ya les había avisado que actualizaría, y si, sé que es muy tarde, que me he retrazado, pero algunas ideas no terminaban de quedar claras y concordar con la historia, lo que me dilataba mucho, y para hacerla aún peor, estuve enferma cercas de dos semanas y no pude hacer mucho, sin embargo, aquí les traigo ya el nuevo capitulo que espero sea de su agrado n.n_**
**_Ya saben que les agradezco mucho que lean, y sobre todo, que se tomen algo de tiempo para dejarme sus comentarios (Mismos que yo respondo en la sección designada a estos), que son mi pago por escribir n.n_**
**_Bueno, ya me voy porque aún tengo mucho cosas por hacer, pero deseaba subir esto antes de que otra cosa pasara y no tuviera ya tiempo -.- Espero en verdad que este capitulo les encante! n.n_**
**_Saludos!!_**
End file.
| fanfiction |
the combined maxima-1 @xcite , boomerang @xcite , dasi @xcite and cobe / dmr cosmic microwave background ( cmb ) observations @xcite imply that the universe is flat @xcite and that most of the matter in the universe is dark @xcite , i.e. exotic .
these results have been confirmed and improved by the recent wmap data @xcite . combining the data
one finds : @xmath1 since any invisible " non exotic component can not possibly exceed @xmath2 of the above @xmath3 @xcite , exotic ( non baryonic ) matter is required , i.e. there is room cold dark matter candidates or wimps ( weakly interacting massive particles ) . even though there exists firm indirect evidence for a halo of dark matter in galaxies from the observed rotational curves ,
see e.g. the review @xcite , it is essential to directly detect such matter . the possibility of such detection , however , depends on the nature of the dark matter constituents and their interactions . since the wimp s
are expected to be extremely non relativistic , with average kinetic energy @xmath4 , they are not likely to excite the nucleus , even if they are quite massive @xmath5 gev . therefore they can be directly detected mainly via the recoiling of a nucleus ( a , z ) in elastic scattering .
the event rate for such a process can be computed from the following ingredients : i ) an effective lagrangian at the elementary particle ( quark ) level obtained in the framework of the prevailing particle theory .
the most popular scenario is in the context of supersymmetry . here
the dark matter candidate is the lsp ( lightest supersymmetric particle ) @xcite . in this case
the effective lagrangian is constructed as described , e.g. , in refs .
@xcite . at least till supersymmetry is discovered in the laboratory ( lhc ) , other approaches are also possible , such as , e.g. , technibaryon @xcite , mirror matter @xcite , kaluza - klein models with universal extra dimensions @xcite ii ) a well defined procedure for transforming the amplitude obtained using the previous effective lagrangian , from the quark to the nucleon level . to achieve
this one needs a quark model for the nucleon , for the coherent mode see , e.g. , @xcite .
similar effects occur in the case of the spin induced matrix elements , iii ) knowledge of the relevant nuclear matrix elements @xcite , obtained with as reliable as possible many body nuclear wave functions , iv ) knowledge of the wimp density in our vicinity and its velocity distribution . in the standard nuclear recoil experiments ,
first proposed more than 30 years ago @xcite , one has to face the problem that the reaction of interest does not have a characteristic feature to distinguish it from the background .
so for the expected low counting rates the background is a formidable problem . some special features of the wimp - nuclear interaction can be exploited to reduce the background problems , such as the modulation effect @xcite,@xcite and backward - forward asymmetry expected in directional experiments , i.e. experiments in which the direction of the recoiling nucleus is also observed @xcite@xcite .
there exists a plethora of direct dark matter experiments with the task of detecting wimp event rates for a variety of targets such as those employed in xenon10 @xcite , xenon100 @xcite , xmass @xcite , zeplin @xcite , panda - x @xcite , lux @xcite , cdms @xcite , cogent @xcite , edelweiss @xcite , dama @xcite , kims @xcite and picasso @xcite . for the interpretation of the experimental data , knowledge of the nuclear matrix elements
is essential . in connection with nuclear structure aspects , in a series of calculations ,
e.g. in @xcite and references therein , it has been shown that for the coherent contribution , due to the scalar interaction , the inclusion of the nuclear form factor is important , especially in the case of relatively heavy targets .
they also showed that the nuclear spin cross sections , which may be relevant for odd mass targets , are characterized by a single , i.e. essentially isospin independent , structure function and two static spin values , one for the proton and one for the neutron , which depend on the target .
in the present paper we will focus on the evaluation of the spin induced matrix elements .
in particular we will explore the currents for spin - dependent wimp scattering off nuclei , in particular the most isovector channel .
we will examine i ) the modification of the rates at the one - body level by including a suitable nucleon form factor , which modifies somewhat the universality of the suitably normalized spin isospin structure functions and ii ) include the leading long - range two - body currents , which are predicted in chiral eft @xcite .
we will show that the two body effects lead to a quenching of the isospin one spin matrix elements .
since , however the resulting quenching factor is independent of the target , it can be absorbed into the corresponding nucleon cross section .
we have not examined such effects on the isoscalar spin matrix element since this mode , if present at all , is suppressed due to the quark structure of the nucleon .
the expressions involving the differential are fairly well known ( see e.g. @xcite for a brief review in our notation ) . for the reader
s convenience we will list the main features here . the event rate can be cast in the form : .|_a=.|_a+.|_a where the first term represents the time averaged ( non modulated ) differential event rate , while the second gives the time dependent ( modulated ) one due to the motion of the earth ( see below ) .
furthermore for the coherent mode we get : .|_a&= & ( ) ^2 _ a^. ( ) | _ , + .|_a&= & ( ) ^2 _ a^. ( ) | _ , [ drdu ] while for the spin dependent process we get : .|_a&= & ( ) ^2 _ a^. ( ) | _ , + .|_a&= & ( ) ^2 _ a^. ( ) | _ [ drdus ] in the above expressions @xmath6 ( @xmath7 )
is the wimp - nucleus ( nucleon ) reduced mass , @xmath8 is the nuclear mass number , @xmath9 is the wimp mass , @xmath10 is the wimp density in our vicinity , assumed to be 0.3 gev @xmath11 , and @xmath12 the mass of the target .
furthermore one can show that _ a^=a^2 _
n^ , .()|_=
a^2 f^2(u ) _
0(a ) , .()|_= a^2 f^2(u ) _
1(a ) [ eq.sigmacoh ] with @xmath13 the elementary nucleon cross section for the coherent mode . in the case of the spin the expressions for static nuclear cross section
@xmath14 will be given below and : .
( ) |_= a^2 f_11(u ) _
0(a ) , .()|_= a^2 f_11(u ) _
1(a ) , [ eq : psi ] the factor @xmath15 is nothing but @xmath16 since in eq .
( [ drdu ] ) @xmath17 appears . in the above expressions
@xmath18 , @xmath19 the velocity of the sun around the center of the galaxy and @xmath20 the nuclear harmonic oscillator size parameter characterizing the nuclear wave function . @xmath21 is the energy transfer @xmath22 in dimensionless units given by @xmath23^{-1}=40a^{-4/3}\mbox { mev } \label{defineu}\ ] ] in the above expressions @xmath24 is the nuclear form factor and @xmath25 the isospin 1 spin response function .
note that the parameter @xmath26 depends both on the wimp mass , the target and the velocity distribution .
note also that for a given energy transfer @xmath22 the quantity @xmath27 depends on @xmath8 .
+ the functions @xmath28 and @xmath29 arise from the wimp velocity distribution , via function @xmath30 , which depends on the minimum wimp velocity for a given energy transfer , i.e. _
min= for the m - b distribution in the local frame it is defined as follows : g(_min,_e())=__min^_maxe^-(^2 + 2 .
_ e()+_e^2())/^2_0 d d , _
max=_esc @xmath31 is the velocity of the earth , including the velocity of the sun around the galaxy , @xmath32 with @xmath33 , @xmath34 a unit vector in the sun s direction of motion , @xmath35 a unit vector radially out of the galaxy in our position and @xmath36 .
@xmath37 is the velocity of the earth around the sun divided @xmath19 and @xmath38 is the phase of the earth ( @xmath39 , around june 3nd ) , where @xmath40 is the fraction of the year . ] .
the above upper cut off value in the m - b is usually put in by hand .
such a cut off comes in naturally , however , in the case of velocity distributions obtained from the halo wimp mass density in the eddington approach @xcite , which , in certain models , resemble a m - b distribution @xcite .
+ to obtain eqs ( [ eq.sigmacoh ] ) and ( [ eq : psi ] ) we expand @xmath30 in powers of @xmath41 , keeping terms up to linear in @xmath42 .
we found it convenient to express all velocities in units of the sun s velocity @xmath19 to obtain : _
0 g(_min,_e())=_0(x)+_1(x ) , x= @xmath28 represents the quantity relevant for the average rate and @xmath29 , which is proportional to @xmath41 , represents the effects of modulation . + in the case of a m - b distribution these functions take the following form : _ 0(x)=
[ eq : psi0 mb ] _ 1(x)&= & [ eq : psi1 mb ] where erf@xmath43 and erfc@xmath43 are the error function and its complement , respectively , and @xmath44 , @xmath45 km / s .
the spin dependent wimp - nucleus elastic scattering cross section can be derived from an interaction which at the quark level can be cast in the form @xmath46 where the scale parameter @xmath47 as well as @xmath48 depend on the particle model .
thus : 1 . supersymmetry , see , e.g. , a review in our notation @xcite .
+ = 2(|c_31|^2 -|c_41|^2),=|_5 where @xmath49 , @xmath50 are the higgsino components of the wimp , which in this case is the lightest supersymmeric particle ( lsp ) . the coefficients @xmath51 ca be read from the space component of the neutral current : j^z _ = - |q _ \ { sin^2 _ w - _ 3 } q , a_0=0,a_1=,g_a^0(q)=0 , g_a^1(q)=-1 .
[ eq : eg 13 ] 2 .
klauza klein theories in models with universal extra dimensions @xcite .
+ in this case we encounter a number of cases depending on the nature of the wimp , e , g . *
the wimp is a gauge boson .
+ in this case : ^2_w ( ) ^2 , * j*=(i ^ * ) , a_u&=&,a_d = a_s=,a_0=,a_1= + g_a^0(q)&=&g_a^1(q)=1 with @xmath52 the proton mass and @xmath53 and @xmath54 the polarization vectors of the initial and final wimps ( the normalization factors @xmath55 entering each boson field in the expression of the cross section has already been absorbed into @xmath47 ) . *
the wimp is heavy neutrino .
+ it is assumed the process proceeds via @xmath56 exchange .
a viable possibility is if it is a majorana fermion . in this case : = 1 , = -| _ 5the coefficients @xmath51 are given again by the space component of the neutral current @xmath57 .
in the present work we will not concern ourselves with any specific particle model , but we will , instead , focus on the following points : 1 .
going from the quark to the nucleon level , i.e. constructing an effective transition operator at the nucleon level .
this involves : * the modification of the currents due to the structure of the nucleon .
+ the effective couplings @xmath58 ( @xmath59 ) are obtained by multiplying the corresponding elementary amplitudes obtained at the quark level , as given above , by suitable renormalization factors @xmath59 and @xmath58 given in terms of the quantities @xmath60 given by ellis @xcite,@xcite , namely @xmath61 , @xmath62 and @xmath63 , i.e. g_a^0(n)=g_a^0(q)(u+d+s)=0.13g_a^0(q),g_a^1(n)=g_a^1(q)(u - d)=1.26 g_a^1(q ) the quantities @xmath64 and @xmath64 can be read from the hadronic current . for the neutral current they are unity ,
so the renormalization of the isovector component of the axial current is the usual one , while the isoscalar one is greatly suppressed , consistent with the emc effect , i.e. the fact a tiny fraction of the spin of the quarks is coming from the spin of the quarks .
it is for this reason that we started our discussion in the isospin basis . in the case of the boson wimp in kaluza - klein theories one finds @xcite : g^0_a(n)=u+(d+s)=0.26,g^1_a(n)=u - d=0.41
thus in general , barring very unusual circumstances at the quark level , the isovector component is expected to be dominant . * the nucleon form factor @xcite , which modifies the isovector axial current : = , = - [ eq : gaff ] if we choose as a @xmath65-axis the direction of momentum we find : _
m= \ { + l(1-)_m , m=0 + _ m , m=1 + .
thus only the longitudinal component of the transition operator is modified by the inclusion of the nucleon form factor .
thus , even at sufficiently high momentum transfers , only 1/3 of the differential rate will be affected .
* possible effects arising from possible exchange currents , which lead to effective 2-body contributions .
we will exploit recent work on chiral effective field theory ( eft ) @xcite .
2 . construct the relative spin structure functions .
+ for this purpose and for illustration purposes we will consider the simplest possible nuclear system , which in our opinion is the @xmath66 system @xcite currently employed as a target by the picasso collaboration .
the study of other experimentally more interesting targets , see e.g. ref .
@xcite , can be found elsewhere @xcite .
the nuclear me entering the wimp - nucleus cross section takes the form : g^0_a(n),a_1=a_1 g^1_a(n ) , i.e. the parameters @xmath67 and @xmath68 depend on the parameters @xmath51 as well as on the quark model for the nucleon .
the structure functions f_ij(u)= , with the functions @xmath69 defined in the appendix , for the xe isotopes @xcite are normalized differently .
the functions @xmath70 extracted from them are independent of this normalization . ]
are essentially independent of the isospin .
thus one can simplify the expression involving the nuclear me entering the wimp - nucleus cross section and write it as follows : |me|^2 = ( a_1 ^ 2 ^2_1+a_1 a_0
_ 0 _ 1+a^2_0 ^2_0 ) f_11(u ) , [ eq : mesq ] where @xmath71 and @xmath72 are the static nuclear matrix elements involving @xmath73 for isospin 0 and 1 respectively defined by _
p=2 [ jj|s_p|jj,_n=2 [ jj|s_n|jj,_0=_p+_n_1=_p-_n + as it is common practice the nuclear physics parameters @xmath74 and @xmath75 ( or @xmath71 and @xmath72 ) as well @xmath76 appear in the expression of the rate , while the parameters @xmath47 , @xmath68 and @xmath67 can be absorbed into the nucleon cross sections @xmath77 and @xmath78 ( or @xmath79 and @xmath80 ) .
leaving aside the factor @xmath76 , taken care of explicitly in eq .
( [ eq : psi ] ) , the static nuclear cross section becomes _
[ eq : nosf ] with _ 0(n)=^2 a_0 ^ 2,_1(n)=^2 a_1 ^ 2 and @xmath81 the nucleon mass .
+ the structure functions @xmath70 obtained in this work are shown in fig .
[ fig : f129](a ) , while those derived from a previous work @xcite are exhibited in fig .
[ fig : f129](b ) and ( c ) .
the isospin behavior of the functions @xmath70 in the @xmath82 is what we expect .
we do not understand the stronger isospin dependence in the case of the @xmath83 . before proceeding
further we will interpret the results of the recent work @xcite , summarized below ( see section [ sec : eft ] ) , in our notation .
if we define : r_ij(0)= then 1 . for the @xmath84xe isotope
we take + @xmath85 and @xmath86 @xmath87 @xmath88 2 . for the @xmath89xe isotope we have + @xmath90 and @xmath91 @xmath92 the above results
have been obtained from eq .
( 16 ) as well as the data of table 1 of ref .
3 . in the case of
@xmath93f we have @xcite : _ p=1.644,_n=-0.031,_0=1.614,_1=1.675 the precise value of the parameters @xmath94 depends on the parameters of the model . for a reasonable choice of these parameters
we get : r_00(0)&=&r_11(0)=r_01(0)=1 , + r_00(0)&=&1,r_11(0)=0.600,r_01(0)=0.775 [ eq : r11a ] in the presence of effective two body terms we can write : .
r_11(0 ) from the above analysis we find : 0.229 , 0.234 , 0.235 the corrections due to the presence of two body terms are significant . from the above expressions ,
since @xmath41 is independent of a , one has two possibilities : 1 .
( [ eq : nosf ] ) in the form _
a^= , [ eq : mesq2 ] where the nucleon parameters remain the same but the isovector nuclear spin matrix elements are quenched by a factor of @xmath95 .
2 . view the correction factor like an effective charge .
+ in this case , due to the nuclear medium , the elementary nucleon amplitudes are modified : a_0a_0,a_1a_1(1-),_0_0,_1_1(1-)^2 but the nuclear spin matrix elements remain unchanged . in this case
we recover the standard formula _
a^ = the parameter @xmath41 depends on the assumed model as shown in table [ tab : delta ] .
+ one may express the above results in the proton neutron representation .
the above behavior of the form factors @xmath70 imply that the proton and neutron form factors are almost the same .
if one retains the amplitudes unchanged one finds : _ a^&= & with _
p=^2 a_p^2,_n=^2 a_n^2,a_p = a_0+a_1 , a_n = a_0-a_1 in other words the two - body terms induce a small neutron ( proton ) component in those cases in which such a component is negligible in the standard treatment with only one body terms .
+ on the other hand one can absorb the quenching into the coupling constants , in which case the proton and the neutron cross sections get modified : a_p = a_0+a_1(1-),a_n = a_0-a_1(1-),_p_p(a_0+a_1(1-))^2,_n_n(a_0-a_1(1-))^2 , while the standard expression for the nuclear cross section is retained , i.e. _
a^= .the parameter @xmath41 entering the suppression factor @xmath96 for the axial isovector contribution for various values of the model parameters @xmath97 , @xmath98 , @xmath99 and @xmath100 . [ cols="^,^,^,^,^",options="header " , ]
in this section we will employ the normalization of the structure functions even though , as shown above , they will be used only in extracting the relevant static spin matrix elements and in particular the quenching factors .
following the recent work of ref .
@xcite we have included the currents for spin - dependent wimp scattering off nuclei at the one - body level as well as the leading long - range two - body currents , which are predicted in chiral eft . the nuclear matrix elements ( me ) entering the wimp - nucleus cross section can be written as @xcite @xmath101 where @xmath102 is the transverse electric and @xmath103 the longitudinal projections of the axial - currents . since
the ground state of @xmath93f is the @xmath104 then only the @xmath105 multipole contributes . as consequence
the above operators can be written in the isospin basis in terms of the operators @xmath106^l$ ] as @xmath107\end{aligned}\ ] ] and @xmath108\end{aligned}\ ] ] where @xmath109 and @xmath110 the above operators are given in terms of the variable @xmath111 , where @xmath112 is the momentum transfer and @xmath20 the harmonic - oscillator length . using the results of our previous shell model calculation for @xmath93f @xcite the parameter
@xmath20 has been taken the value 1.63 fm .
the multi - particle matrix elements of the above operators in the considered sd model space are given in the appendix .
the resulting 2b contribution to the axial - vector wimp current has been included as a density - dependent renormalization @xcite @xmath113 , with @xmath114 a typical range of the densities in nuclei @xmath115 has been taken into account .
this leads to @xmath116 , using the fermi - gas mean - value @xmath117 where @xmath118 the fermi momentum , and @xmath119 for @xmath120 .
the coupling constants @xmath99 and @xmath100 describing the contributions of long - range one - pion - exchange as well as the short - range parts in the two - body currents are taken from ref .
@xcite . as a function of density @xmath97 and the difference @xmath121 of the parameters @xmath99 and @xmath100 .
the curves in the plot correspond to constant values of @xmath41 and lighter shading denotes the increase of @xmath41 . [ cotour_delta],title="fig:",scaledwidth=100.0% ] in fig .
[ cotour_delta ] the contour plot is shown for the parameter @xmath41 as function of @xmath97 and @xmath121 .
the curves in the plot correspond to constant values of @xmath41 . a second contribution
@xmath122 in the pseudo - scalar component of 2b current has been included via a density and momentum dependent modification : @xmath123 where @xmath124 mev and @xmath125 mev .
all the other parameters in eqs .
( [ eq1 ] ) and ( [ eq2 ] ) of the appendix have been taken the values @xmath126 mev , @xmath127 , @xmath128 .
the first @xmath129-dependent term of @xmath130 and @xmath131 arise arise at the one - body ( 1b ) currents , while the second @xmath129-dependent term in @xmath130 and the momentum independent term @xmath41 are taken from the two body ( 2b ) currents .
all the terms of the form factors @xmath131 and @xmath130 are presented in fig .
[ inspection ] . as it is seen
the first @xmath129-dependent term of @xmath130 is negligible . in fig .
[ inspection ] the corresponding average value of the two body terms @xmath41 and @xmath122 is presented .
0.565c|c|c|c|c|c + + @xmath132 & @xmath133 & @xmath134 ( 1b ) & @xmath134 ( 1b+2b ) & @xmath135 ( 1b ) & @xmath135 ( 1b+2b ) + @xmath136 & @xmath137 & @xmath138 & @xmath139 & @xmath140 & @xmath141 + @xmath27 & @xmath142 & @xmath143 & @xmath144 & @xmath145 & @xmath146 + @xmath147 & @xmath148 & @xmath149 & @xmath150 & @xmath151 & @xmath152 + @xmath153 & @xmath154 & @xmath155 & @xmath156 & @xmath157 & @xmath158 + @xmath159 & @xmath160 & @xmath161 & @xmath162 & @xmath163 & @xmath164 + ) .
, title="fig:",scaledwidth=40.0% ] at finite momentum @xmath165 the structure functions @xmath133 , @xmath134 and @xmath135 can be given in terms of a forth - order polynomial multiplied by an exponential @xmath166 ( see appendix ) .
the results of the fitting procedure are given in table [ fits ] , while the structure functions @xmath167 for 1b and 1b+2b currents are presented in fig .
[ inspection ] . , @xmath134 and @xmath135 for @xmath93f as a function of @xmath111 , for one body(1b ) and one+two body(1b+2b ) currents .
no two body corrections were considered for @xmath133 .
[ fig : f19],title="fig:",scaledwidth=40.0% ] , @xmath76 , and @xmath168 for @xmath93f , @xmath84xe and @xmath89xe isotopes and as a function of @xmath111 , for 1b+2b currents .
no two body corrections were considered for @xmath169 .
, title="fig:",scaledwidth=40.0%]a ) , @xmath76 , and @xmath168 for @xmath93f , @xmath84xe and @xmath89xe isotopes and as a function of @xmath111 , for 1b+2b currents .
no two body corrections were considered for @xmath169 . ,
title="fig:",scaledwidth=40.0%]b ) , @xmath76 , and @xmath168 for @xmath93f , @xmath84xe and @xmath89xe isotopes and as a function of @xmath111 , for 1b+2b currents .
no two body corrections were considered for @xmath169 . ,
in the present paper we studied the evaluation of the spin dependent nuclear matrix elements relevant for dark matter searches with a variety of experimentally interesting targets ( see recent work @xcite on such an analysis ) .
we focused on the isovector part of the axial current , which is the most important for the spin induced cross section . in particular , the effect on the suitably normalized spin structure functions @xmath70 of the nucleon form factor has been examined .
we find that their isospin behavior of the spin structure functions @xmath70 is no longer universal .
the isospin one modes fall a bit faster as a function of the energy transfer .
this effect , however , is not very significant in the energy transfer of interest to dark matter searches ( see fig .
[ fig : f129 ] ) . in a recent analysis @xcite , in which it is shown that it is possible to extract all three nucleon cross sections from the data ( the coherent as well as the proton and neutron spin cross sections )
, the equality of the spin structure functions @xmath70 is important . in the case of the light nucleus @xmath93f , in which the spin dependent
rate maybe more important , we find that even the effect on the integrated structure functions @xmath170 , obtained by integrating from zero to the maximum allowed energy transfer , is small : @xmath171 the effect will be smaller , if the additional @xmath27 dependence arising from the velocity distribution , not discussed in this work , is included .
this isospin independent function is also a decreasing function of @xmath27 , but its precise form depends on the wimp mass .
in addition to the standard one body contribution , we examined the leading long - range two - body currents , which are predicted in chiral eft @xcite .
we confirm the reduction of the isovector matrix elements , quenching factor , by as large as @xmath172 .
the precise value is dependent on model parameters , not precisely known .
we have found , however , that this affects only the static spin me and it is independent of the target nucleus .
thus this effect can be absorbed as a multiplicative factor either in the isovector nuclear matrix elements or better still in the effective coupling parameters , which depend on the assumed particle model , which anyway are going to be derived from the experimental data , if and when they become available . in summary the standard analysis of the data previously employed is not seriously affected by such effects .
since the ground state of @xmath93f is the @xmath104 then only the @xmath105 multipole contributes ( eq .
( [ me ] ) ) . in our treatment
we will separate the couplings from the nuclear operator . as consequence
the multi - particle reduced matrix elements of the @xmath173 and @xmath174 operators can be written as = a_0<j||l^5,0_l=1||j > + a_1<j||l^5,1_l=1||j > [ eqboth ] where < j||l^5,0_l=1||j > = _
a_(j ) ( < ||t^(2,1)|| > + < ||t^(0,1)|| > ) [ eqbotha ] <
j||l^5,1_l=1||j > = f_1(q ) _
b_(j)(<||t^(2,1)|| > + < ||t^(0,1)|| > ) [ eqbothb ] with @xmath175 we also write <
j||t^el 5_l=1||j>=a_0 < j||t^el ( 5,0)_l=1||j>+a_1 < j||t^el ( 5,1)_l=1||j > with < j||t^el 5,0_l=1||j>= _ a_(j ) ( -<||t^(2,1)|| >
+ < ||t^(0,1)|| > ) [ eqbothc ] and < j||t^el 5,1_l=1||j>= f_2(q ) _ b_(j)(-<||t^(2,1)|| >
+ < ||t^(0,1)|| > ) [ eqbothd ] with @xmath176 the indices @xmath177 and @xmath97 run over the single particle orbits of the chosen model space . according to ref .
@xcite this model space is the sd one .
the quantities @xmath178 and @xmath179 are essentially products of the one body coefficients of fractional parentage ( cfp ) for the isoscalar and isovector part of the operator respectively .
they depend , of course , on the specific interaction and the model space used ( see ref .
@xcite ) .
as it is known the reduced matrix elements of the @xmath180^j$ ] operator is written as @xmath181 where @xmath182 therefore the matrix elements ( [ eqbotha ] ) , ( [ eqbothb]),([eqbothc ] ) and ( [ eqbothd ] ) are written as @xmath183 @xmath184 @xmath185 @xmath186 with @xmath187e^{-u/2}\end{aligned}\ ] ] @xmath188e^{-u/2}\end{aligned}\ ] ] @xmath189e^{-u/2}\end{aligned}\ ] ] @xmath190e^{-u/2}\end{aligned}\ ] ] the @xmath191 part of the operator represents the isoscalar part while @xmath192 the isovector one . using the results of our previous shell model calculation for @xmath93f @xcite the coefficients @xmath193,@xmath194,@xmath195,@xmath196,@xmath197,@xmath198 , @xmath199 and @xmath200 have been taken the values @xmath201 and @xmath202 the above operators are given in terms of the variable @xmath111 , where @xmath112 is the momentum transfer and @xmath20 the harmonic - oscillator length . according to the above matrix elements
the structure functions are written @xmath203\end{aligned}\ ] ] @xmath204\end{aligned}\ ] ] and @xmath205\end{aligned}\ ] ]
82 natexlab#1#1bibnamefont # 1#1bibfnamefont # 1#1citenamefont # 1#1url # 1`#1`urlprefix[2]#2 [ 2][]#2 | arxiv |
recently , evidence for an exotic s = + 1 baryon has been reported by several experiments using incident beams of real and quasi - real photons , kaons , and ( anti-)neutrinos @xcite . with a significance of 4.4 to 7@xmath2
, they find in the p or n channels a resonance with a mass between 1526 and 1542 mev/ and with a width of typically @xmath6 mev dominated by the experimental resolutions .
best constraints on width come from a re - analysis of kaon scattering and exclude a value larger than 5 mev/ @xcite .
this new state is tentatively identified with the pentaquark ( @xmath7 ) baryon , which has been predicted @xcite within a chiral soliton model to reside at 1530 mev/ , to have a width of less than 15 mev/ , and to decay into the kn channels .
other model interpretations including correlated quark pairs are discussed in @xcite .
the is member of an antidecuplet exhibiting two further exotic states , the ( @xmath8 ) and the @xmath9 ( @xmath10 ) .
a candidate for the has been found by the na49 collaboration in the channel at 1862 mev/ with a width of less than 18 mev/ @xcite . at the same mass ,
evidence for a new resonance is also seen in the + c.c .
channels . for establishing the existence and character of the new resonances beyond any doubt , high statistics mass spectra and the measurements of spin , parity , width and cross sections are needed .
exploring the production mechanism of pentaquark states can lead to a better understanding of non - perturbative qcd , and relative particle yields like / or /(1520 ) can provide new insight in the dynamics of production mechanisms .
statistical hadronization models predict these ratios to be @xmath110.02 resp . @xmath110.4 and energy - dependent @xcite .
taking advantage of a huge sample of minimum bias data from proton - nucleus collisions , hera - b can considerably contribute to all these topics .
hera - b is a fixed target experiment at the 920 gev proton storage ring of desy .
it is a forward magnetic spectrometer with a large acceptance , a high - resolution vertexing and tracking system and good particle identification @xcite .
the present study uses a sample of more than 200 million minimum bias events which was taken at mid - rapidity ( @xmath12 ) on carbon , titanium and tungsten targets during the 2002/03 run period . for this analysis the information from the silicon vertex detector , the main tracking system and the ring - imaging cherenkov counter ( rich ) was used . with standard techniques
described in @xcite , signals from @xmath13 , @xmath13 p and @xmath13 @xmath14 decays can be identified above small backgrounds ( figure [ d1]a , b , c ) .
signals from decays of a ) k@xmath15 , b ) @xmath16p@xmath17 , c ) @xmath18 , d ) @xmath13and @xmath13 , and e ) @xmath19pk@xmath20 .
@xmath21m=1.0/0.4mev/ in a)/b),c ) .
, width=415 ] similar clean signals from @xmath13 and c.c . decays ( figure [ d1]d ) are obtained by requesting that none of the decay products but only the itself must point to the primary vertex .
the measured mass resolutions for , and ( ) signals of 4.9 mev , 1.6 mev , and 2.6 mev are about 20% larger than the values from monte carlo simulations .
the number of observed , + and + events totals about @xmath22 , @xmath23 , and @xmath24 , respectively .
the large statistics of events allows to apply very strict criteria for proton identification by the rich .
the cut in the proton likelihood of @xmath25 implies that the probability to identify other particles with momenta between 20 and 55 gev/ as protons is less than 3% . in the sample
the and contaminations were removed @xcite .
in addition , only p pairs from events with an identified primary vertex were accepted .
the invariant mass spectrum of the p pairs is shown in figure [ d2]a ) for the p+c data .
the pk@xmath26 invariant mass distributions : a ) data from the p+c collisions with background ( continuous line ) determined from event mixing ; b ) as a ) but with the background subtracted ; c ) as a ) but requiring a track multiplicity of @xmath27 .
d ) data from all targets c , ti , w requiring a track multiplicity of @xmath28 and a @xmath29 particle in the event .
arrows mark the mass of 1540 mev/.,width=529 ] the spectrum exhibits a smooth shape without any narrow structure .
the solid line represents the background determined from event mixing . in the background - subtracted spectrum ( figure [ d2]b )
, the data points scatter around zero showing again no evidence for a narrow structure in the mass region between 1450 and 1700 mev/. from monte - carlo simulations , the experimental mass resolution for a is found to be @xmath30 mev/. the estimated sensitivity _ br_@xmath1d@xmath2/dx@xmath31 for a narrow signal is about 5 @xmath4b / nucleon assuming the cross section to scale with a@xmath32 .
also other search strategies did not yield a significant narrow structure around 1540 mev/ including i ) a cut in the track multiplicity of the event ( figure [ d2]c ) , ii ) the request for the presence of a tagging particle like , @xmath33 or in the event , or iii ) both conditions ( figure [ d2]d ) , and iv ) the relaxation of the proton momentum cut implied by the rich pid . with the same proton pid used for the p pairs ,
the combination of protons with particles yields a clean signal of the ( 1520 ) @xmath13 p decay ( figure [ d1]e ) proving the pid performance .
in fact , @xmath13 p and ( 1520 ) @xmath13 p decays exhibit a very similar geometrical acceptance and , assuming a branching ratio of 0.25 of the into the p channel , a preliminary value for the upper limit of the relative particle yield /(1520 ) at mid - rapidity is 0.02 at 95% cl .
this value is significantly lower than the statistical hadronization model prediction of 0.57 for p - p collisions at @xmath34 gev @xcite .
like in the na49 study @xcite , resonances were searched for in both the doubly - charged + c.c . and in the neutral + c.c .
channels . @xmath35 candidates with a mass of @xmath36 mev/ of the table mass were accepted .
figure [ d3 ] shows the the @xmath37 invariant mass distributions obtained with all targets c , ti , and w in indicated decay channels .
continuous lines show the background from event mixing .
arrows mark the mass of 1862 mev/. , width=529 ] corresponding invariant mass spectra and the backgrounds determined by event mixing . in the neutral decay channels , ( figure [ d3]a ) , the resonance shows up with a prominent signal , and there is a possible weak evidence for known higher resonances . in the doubly - charged channels ( figure [ d3]b )
, the background follows very well the data , and , in particular , there is no evidence for a narrow signal at around 1862 mev/ at a sensitivity of _
br_@xmath1d@xmath2/dx@xmath38b / nucleon .
the preliminary values for the two upper limits of the relative production yields br@xmath1(1862)/ and br@xmath1(1862)/ at mid - rapidity are 0.077 and 0.058 at 95% cl , respectively .
the present study exploited a high statistics minimum bias sample obtained from central proton nucleus collisions at @xmath0 gev and the high momentum resolution of the hera - b spectrometer for a sensitive search of narrow pentaquark signals .
the performance of the analysis technique has been verified by the reconstruction of clear ( 1520 ) @xmath13 p and @xmath13 signals .
no evidence is found , however , for narrow signals from the around 1540 mev/ or the candidate at about 1862 mev/ in the p and channels , respectively . the sensitivity to identify a signal in the p channel
is estimated to be better than 5 @xmath4b / nucleon .
more systematic studies and the evaluation of cross section limits are in progress . the relative particle yield /(1520 ) of less than 0.02 ( 95% cl ) at mid - rapidity is not compatible with the predictions of the statistical hadronization model @xcite . if existent , pentaquarks seem to exhibit also exotic production mechanisms .
99 nakano t ( leps collaboration ) 2003 012002 stepanyan s ( clas collaboration ) 2003 hep - ex/0307018 bart j ( saphir collaboration ) 2003 127 barmin v v ( diana collaboration ) 2003 yad .
fiz . * 66 * 1763 asratyan a e ( itep collaboration ) 2003 hep - ex/0309042 kubarovsky v ( clas collaboration ) 2003 hep - ex/033046 airapetian a ( hermes collab . )
2003 hep - ex/0312044 cahn r n and trilling g h 2003 hep - ph/0311245 and references therein diakonov d , petrov v and polyakov m v 1997 a * 359 * 305 jaffe r and wilczek f 2003 hep - ph/0307341 and proceedings of this conference alt c ( na49 collaboration ) 2003 hep - ex/0310014 randrup j 2003 c * 68 * 031903 letessier j 2003 hep - ph/0310188 becattini 2003 hep - ph/0310049 abt i ( hera - b collaboration ) 2003 c * 29 * 181 - 190 and references therein zavertyaev m 2003 hep - ph/0311250 | arxiv |
quantum dots ( qds ) are photoluminescent
nanocrystals composed of
semiconductor materials that are the subject of multidisciplinary
interests across the biomedical , electrical , and physical sciences . for biological imaging applications ,
for example , qds can emit light over a broad range of wavelengths
covering the entire visible and near - infrared regions of the electromagnetic
spectrum by tuning both particle size and chemical composition .
also the emission from qds can be considerably brighter than that
of traditional fluorophores owing to greater absorption cross sections ,
leading to improved signal - to - noise ratios in fluorescence imaging
experiments .
a high signal - to - noise ratio is especially important
for single molecule imaging and tracking experiments in order to obtain
nanometer precision of the probe location .
single molecule tracking has been performed using probes that
either
scatter or emit light , but there are significant trade - offs associated with
all the probes employed to date .
organic
dyes and proteins have small sizes , which minimally perturb the native
dynamics of the molecule being tagged .
however , these probes suffer
from rapid photobleaching , limiting observation to only a few seconds
before irreversible photobleaching .
light
scattering from metal particles is exceptionally stable , but the large
particle sizes needed for observation increase their drag forces ,
leading to reduced diffusion rates . as a balance between these extremes ,
qds have greater photostability than organic dyes and proteins , allowing
long - duration observation while being smaller than gold particles ,
which lessens perturbations to the natural diffusion of the tagged
molecules .
however , a major limitation in using qds for single - particle
tracking
is that single qds emit fluorescent light in an intermittent on - and - off
fashion called blinking . the nonfluorescent or off periods of currently available
qds can have durations up to 100 s , which leads to frames without
probe signals ( see figure 1 ) .
algorithms have
been developed to reconstruct the missing positions , but they have limited accuracy for long off states , especially when
the observed field contains multiple mobile qds and the environment
is physically heterogeneous , such as the membrane of a cell . thus , there is a great need to suppress this
blinking behavior in order to realize the benefits of photostable
qds for use in single - molecule imaging .
suppression of qd blinking
was first reported by ha and co - workers ,
who passivated the qd surface by using small thiolate reagents such
as mecaptoethnaol .
it is believed that
small thiolate molecules are packed densely on the qd surface to satisfy
the many unpassivated cations that often act as electron traps .
having
small thiolated molecules donating electrons to surface trap states
reduces the number of traps accessible to electrons ejected from the
qd core , thus suppressing the charge - trapping pathway of blinking .
another approach in preventing carrier access to surface traps is
to grow a thick shell of a higher band gap material around the qd
core , otherwise known as a
such structures
have been synthesized using the cdse / cds core / shell system and have
been observed to suppress blinking . ( a ) intermittent
fluorescence emission ( blinking ) observed in a
dynamic intensity trace of a conventional core / shell qd ( cdse / zns ) .
the dotted line on the dynamic trace indicates the demarcation between
on and off states .
grey states
can appear , which are at intensity values above the background but
below the average intensity of the on states .
( b ) depiction of random
switching between fluorescent ( on ) and nonfluorescent ( off ) states
under continuous laser excitation .
( c ) illustration of an uncertainty
region in the trajectory of a qd upon entering a prolonged off state
in a single - particle tracking experiment .
suppression of blinking has also been reported by tailoring
the
electronic band potential profile of core
the main
rationale is that in conventional core / shell qds , which have an abrupt
transition between the core and shell materials , charge carriers can
obtain ample momentum from the uncertainty at potential profile discontinuities
to contribute to an auger excitation process .
on the other hand , qds with a smooth potential that is free of discontinuities
could lower auger rates several orders of magnitude relative to traditional
core / shell particles by relaxing the momentum uncertainties .
an experimental study supporting this theory
was performed through creating a smooth confinement potential resembling
a parabola originating from cd1xznxse / znse alloy - core / shell particles ,
where x gradually changes from 0 at the center to
1 at the surface of the qd .
the authors
demonstrated a complete absence of blinking for up to hours of continuous
excitation .
however , the general applicability of this mechanism is
still a matter of debate because the earlier results have not been
reproduced or confirmed . despite these advances in blinking
suppression , there are still
major limitations in using qds for biological imaging and tracking
studies .
blinking suppression using small thiolated compounds requires
reagent concentrations in the millimolar range , which is highly toxic
to cells .
giant qds , with sizes near
20 nm , are about twice the hydrodynamic
size of igg , which can significantly
alter the dynamics of the tagged biomolecule , especially when considering
the additional size from the solvating ligands required to stabilize
the particle in solution .
though there have been reports showing blinking
suppression using fewer monolayers of cds shell surrounding a cdse
core than the giant qds , it has yet to be demonstrated
that these particles maintain blinking suppression after transfer
to aqueous solution . in this work ,
we report a new strategy
to synthesize blinking - suppressed
qds based on a generalizable gradient alloy structure and robust synthesis
approach similar to that employed for giant shell qds .
specifically ,
we show that a linearly graded shell can be prepared in a stepwise ,
automated fashion , leading to a new class of qds with precisely controlled
chemical compositions and potential profiles . by spreading the lattice
strain between two mismatched materials across a large number of atoms ,
we have used this graded alloy approach not only to minimize internal
and interfacial lattice defects ( to avoid carrier trapping ) , but also
to minimize carrier propagation probabilities at the particle surface
( also to avoid carrier trapping ) . it should be noted that analogous
methods are routinely applied in the electronics industry to avoid
interfacial defect formation by linearly grading a substrate ( e.g. ,
silicon ) to a lattice - mismatched epitaxial layer ( e.g. , germanium ) .
our results show that this method produces relatively compact , blinking - suppressed
qds with favorable optical properties that are independent of surface
ligands or solvating media .
these probes are well - suited for live - cell
single - particle tracking studies where they exhibit continuous trajectories .
all chemicals were purchased from sigma - aldrich
and used without further purification or modification unless otherwise
stated : 1-ocadecene ( ode , 90% ) , 1-tetradecene ( tda , 92% ) , selenium
powder ( se , 99.99% ) , octadecylamine ( oda , 90% ) , trioctylphosphine
( top , 97% ) , cadmium oxide ( cdo , 99.99% ) , dioctylamine ( doa , 98% ) ,
diethylzinc ( 1.0 m in hexanes ) , oleylamine , thioctic acid ( ta , 98% ) ,
4-(n , n - dimethylamino)pyridine ( dmap ,
99% ) , n , n- dicyclohexylcarbodiimide
( dcc , 99% ) , sodium borohydride ( nabh4 , 99.99% ) , poly(acrylic acid )
( paa , mw 1773 ) , n - hydroxysuccinimide ( nhs , 98% ) , n , n-diisopropylcarbodiimide ( dic ,
98% ) , cysteamine ( 95% ) , 1-thioglycerol ( 97% ) , dimethyl sulfoxide ( dmso ,
99.9% ) , dimethylformamide ( dmf , 99.8% ) , methoxypolyethylene glycol
amine ( 750 mw ) , and poly(ethylene glycol ) methyl ether thiol ( 5000
mw ) .
dimethylcadmium ( 10 wt % in heptane ) and bis(trimethylsilyl)selenide
( ( tms)2se ) were obtained from gelest .
n - fmoc - ethylenediamine ( fmoc - eda ) was purchased from abd bioquest .
approximately 0.6 mmol of cdo
and 1.4 mmol of tdpa were added to a 250 ml flask with 25 ml of ode .
the mixture was heated to 120 c under vacuum for 2 h to remove
water and oxygen . after purging 3 times with argon
, the mixture was
heated to 320 c under inert gas until the solution became clear .
the mixture was then cooled to room temperature and 6 g of oda was
added .
again , the solution was heated to 120 c for 2 h under
vacuum and then purged three times with argon . in a separate 100 ml
flask ,
a 7.5 ml solution containing 0.4 m of top - se in top was added .
here se powder was added to top , where the flask was then evacuated
and put in inert atmosphere in the same manner as the other reaction
flask .
once under argon , the flask temperature was raised to 160 c ,
where it was left overnight and then cooled to room temperature .
the
temperature in the cadmium precursor flask is set to 290 c when
the solution of top - se is swiftly injected .
after injection , the flask
is immediately removed from the heating mantle and placed under forced
air to quickly bring the solution to room temperature .
cores were
then diluted to a 1:5 ratio of reaction solution in hexanes and centrifuged
at 5000 rpm to remove insoluble cadmium precursors .
the particles
were then precipitated with acetone and washed several times in methanol
and hexane extractions .
two - hundred
nanomoles of the purified solution of cdse cores was placed in a mixture
of 5 ml of ode and 5 ml of doa . the solution was then heated to 110
c under vacuum for 1 h and later purged with argon three times
to remove water and oxygen .
shell addition for the graded alloy qds
was performed by introducing calculated amounts of glovebox - prepared
0.1 m solutions of dimethylcadmium and diethylzinc combinations in
oleylamine and ( tms)2se in tde separately by a syringe
pump at a rate of 0.5 ml / h . a single monolayer was deposited in a
day then left to anneal overnight at 6080 c . since the
graded alloy proceeds in increments of x = 0.1 for
each monolayer , and then an additional 4 monolayers of znse are added ,
the total reaction time is 14 days .
shell growth temperatures start
at 130 c and work up to 240 c as sequential layers are
added to improve the crystallinity of the final products .
thioctic
acid conjugated to 750 molecular weight methoxypolyethylene glycol
amine ( ta-750peg - och3 ) followed a similar procedure to that presented
by mei et al . ,
where equimolar amounts
of each are reacted with dmap and dcc in methylene chloride .
the disulfide
bond was then reduced using nabh4 in a methanol and water
solution .
preparation of the multidentate polymer followed the procedure
outlined by smith and nie . here polyacrylic
acid was functionalized with thiols and amines by adding cysteamine
and fmoc - ethyldiamine through dic and nhs in dmso , later deprotecting
the amines by piperidine .
poly(ethylene glycol ) methyl ether thiol
of molecular weight 5000 da ( hs-5000peg - och3 ) is used without
any modifications . for ligand transfer of the ta-750peg - och3 and hs-5000peg - och3 ,
qds were performed similar to the method of kang et al . , where the qd solution and ligands are dissolved
in chloroform , stirred under mild heating , and then pbs was introduced
into the solution .
typical qd concentrations were 5 m ,
and polymer concentrations were in slight excess of a 1 molar ratio
of cations .
the transfer method for the multidentate polymer follows
the original procedure , whereby qds were
first transferred to dmso with thioglycerol ligands and polymer was
introduced to the solution followed by heating to 80 c for 2
h. all qds were then purified by either 30 kda centrifugal filters
( amicon ) or 25 kda dialysis tubing ( spectra / por ) .
the excitation source was
a mode locked ti : sapphire laser ( tsunami oscillator pumped by 10 w
millenia pro , spectra - physics ) operated at a wavelength of 8001000
nm pulsed 100 fs at a 82 mhz repetition rate .
the output is
then sent through a pulse picker ( conoptics ) to reduce the repetition
rate by a factor of 9 .
in order to achieve shorter wavelengths needed
for qd absorption , the light was passed through a frequency doubling
-bab2o4 ( bbo ) crystal to achieve wavelengths
of 400500 nm .
the sample dispersed on a microscope slide was
placed on a piezo scanning stage ( mad city laboratories ) , where laser
illumination was focused to a diffraction - limited spot on the slide
through the microscope objective ( na 1.4/100x oil , olympus ) .
a confocal
ray path was created from a pinhole in the image plane where only
the signal from the focal plane is transmitted .
the signal from the
focal plane was then collected through the same objective and focused
to an avalanche photodiode ( apd , pelkin - elmer , spcm - aqr-14 ) with photon
counting accomplished by a time - correlated single photon counting
module ( tcspc , becker&hickel spc 600 ) .
single qds on the slide
were located through point - by - point scanning of the laser beam across
the sample by the piezo scanner .
in addition , single qds were verified
using an atomic force microscope ( afm , asylum s mfp-3d - bio ) absorption spectra were obtained using a shimadzu uv-2401pc scanning
spectrophotometer .
quantum yields
were obtained by using a standard of fluorometric grade rhodamine
6 g ( r6 g ) dye dissolved in methanol . high - resolution tem ( hrtem )
of the resulting graded alloy shell
qds
the mean
particle size was determined by inspecting 200 different particles
through the use of the analysis software imagej .
the chemical
composition of graded alloy qds was determined through
x - ray photoelectron spectroscopy ( xps ) using a thermo scientific k - alpha
having an al k source operated at 160 at 0.1 ev step size with
200 ms dwell time .
first , sulfo - lc - spdp
was reacted
with qds having solvating ligands of dhla - peg3400-nh2 ( nanocs )
at room temperature for 1 h at a ratio of 10000 linkers per qd .
once
the reaction is complete , the disulfide bond of the linker is reduced
through adding an excess of dtt .
the resulting qds , presenting thiol
end groups , were then purified with a desalting column equilibrated
with pbs to remove unreacted sulfo - lc - spdp along with dtt . in a separate
vial , to introduce thiol reactive groups of maleimido to the antibody ,
the amine groups of anti - egfr ( invitrogen 31g7 ) were activated by
reacting with sulfo - smcc at a ratio of 10 linking agents to 1 antibody .
finally , the maleimido functionalized anti - egfr was reacted with the
surface thiol groups of the qds in a 1.2:1 molar ratio for 3 h in
pbs under vigorous mixing .
the resulting qd - ab conjugates were purified
through size - exclusion column chromatography equilibrated with pbs .
the human lung carcinoma
cell line a549 , which overexpresses egfr , was grown on coverslips
in a medium containing 10 mm hbss , 10 mm hepes , and 5% fbs , ph 7.4 .
for labeling ,
cells were first washed with pbs , then incubated at
4 c for 30 min in 1% bsa in pbs and for 1 h with the qd - ab conjugates
in picomolar quantities .
imaging was performed with a wide field fluorescent microscope
( olympus ix 70 ) using a 100 w mercury lamp excitation source ( osram
hbo 103w/1 ) with 560 40 nm and 610 excitation
and long pass filters , respectively .
a region of interest was selected
based on the bright field image of the cell .
once this region was
chosen , the fluorescence image was then taken to observe the qds present
in the area .
once a well isolated qd had been spotted , real time fluorescence
image recording was performed at 33 frames per second with a ccd camera
( hamamatsu c9100 ) .
the total duration of an imaging experiment did
not exceed 15 min to ensure cell viability when tracking the surface
receptors .
we synthesized core / shell / shell
cdse / cd1xznxse / znse qds , for which the cd1xznxse region is linearly graded
in composition from the core cdse material to the outer shell znse
material , with x increasing in increments of 0.1
with each monolayer ( see figure 2a ) .
the composition
and structure of the multishell domains were chosen to simultaneously
minimize interfacial lattice strain and to confine the charge carriers
in a deep potential well . to insulate the charge carriers ,
it is necessary
to use a shell material with larger bandgap than the core cdse material
( eg = 1.76 ev ) . because it is well - known
that very large shells of cds ( eg = 2.50
ev ) are needed to adequately reduce blinking
, we chose the wider bandgap
znse material ( eg = 2.82 ev ) , which has
a larger conduction band offset from the core cdse material to more
strongly insulate the more mobile electron to prevent tunneling to
the surface with a thinner shell .
however , due to a general trend
of decreasing bond length with increasing bandgap , greater insulation
also increases the lattice mismatch with the core material , leading
to a compressive strain in the core and a net tensile strain in the
shell . beyond a critical shell thickness
, the strain energy will become
large enough to cause the formation of lattice defects such as loop
dislocations that act as carrier traps and auger recombination sites ,
leading to reduced radiative excitonic recombination . to offset the accumulation of strain at the core / shell
interface , compositional grading
was used to generate coherent epitaxial
layers of the shell , as earlier work in semiconductor heteroepitaxy
has demonstrated that graded alloys relieve interfacial strain and
can prevent dislocation formation at the epitaxial
core cdse nanocrystals with a diameter of 2.0 nm were synthesized
using a hot - injection method and dispersed in a mixture of dioctylamine
and octadecene for shell deposition .
we used highly reactive shell
precursors , diethylzinc , dimethylcadmium , and ( tms)2se ,
to enable efficient shell growth at low temperatures that are needed
to prevent ostwald ripening of the small cores , to balance cation
activity , and to promote isotropic growth .
commonly used metal - oleates
and top - se typically require temperatures higher than the temperature
at which cdse ripens , and the reactivities of zinc - oleate and cadmium - oleate
are drastically different .
( a ) multilayer structure of the linearly graded
shell material
increasing in zinc content surrounding the core .
( b ) hrtem images
of a single cdse / cd1xznxse linear step graded alloy shell qd .
( c ) normalized
absorption and emission spectra of the initial cores and the final
core / shell particles .
( d ) dependence of the exciton energy on shell
thickness for cdse / cd1xznxse core / shell particles .
the red line depicts
experimental emission values , and the blue line shows calculated values
using the effective mass approximation for a core radius of 1.0 nm
and a shell graded in linear steps of x = 0.1 with
an additional 4 monolayers of pure znse .
the major ligand during shell growth is initially the secondary
amine doa , a softer lewis base than primary amines .
doa balances the
reactivity between zinc and cadmium precursors at the initial stages
of shell growth , as zinc has a higher affinity toward primary amines
and only weakly binds to the qd surface atoms to allow efficient shell
growth at low temperatures . as subsequent shells are deposited with
increasing zinc content , more primary amine is introduced into the
system , since the cation precursors are dissolved in oleylamine , which
becomes the major ligand on the nanocrystal surface .
primary amines
are favored in the later stages of shell growth as they provide enhanced
binding strength to the nanocrystal surface , affording greater colloidal
stability beneficial for dispersion of larger particles with lower
surface energy .
shell precursors were added to the reaction
vessel via syringe
pump , and reaction progress was monitored by uv vis , emission
spectrophotometry , and transmission electron microscopy .
after 14
monolayers of growth , chemical composition was determined through
x - ray photoelectron spectroscopy ( see figure s1 of the supporting information ) .
the final graded alloy
qds were highly crystalline , nearly spherical with a size of 10.1
1.2 nm ( see figure 2b ) ,
and monodisperse ( see figure s2 of the supporting
information ) .
the fluorescent emission peak center is near
620 nm with a fwhm of 40 nm and has a quantum yield near 50% .
figure 2c shows that there is decreasing emission
energy as more monolayers of shell material were added , while there
is an increase in the absorption at shorter wavelengths .
this is an
indication of the charge carrier wave functions increasing in volume
( less confined ) , along with an increase in the absorption cross section
due to larger particle size ( more oscillators ) .
the energy profile
with monolayer additions is qualitatively similar to that of what
would be expected from theoretical calculations based on the effective
mass approximation ( see figure 2d ) .
dynamic fluorescence
traces of ( a ) a 2.0 nm cdse core and ( b ) the
graded alloy core / shell qd along with the on / off time probability
distributions for ( c ) the cores and ( d ) graded shell particles .
( e )
histogram of the percentage of on times for an ensemble
of 100 gradient alloy shell particles .
( f ) expanded view of the intensity
trace of the gradient alloy shell qd showing the short timescale off
samples
of the cdse cores and
cdse / cd1xznxse / znse qds were compared at the single - particle level .
particles
solvated in hexane solution were spun onto glass microscope slides
and were observed under ambient conditions .
single qds on the slide
were located through point - by - point scanning of a focused laser beam
and were further verified with atomic force microscopy ( see figure
s3 of the supporting information ) . as shown
in figure 3 ( panels a and b ) , there is a drastic
change in total time spent between emissive and nonemissive states
between the two samples .
the cores without a shell are mostly in the
off state during illumination , with few brief on states , whereas after
shell growth the particles spend most of the time in the on state
with few short off states .
the probabilities of the on and off periods
for the cores with and without the linearly graded alloy shells were
fit to a power law distribution of the form p t , as shown in figure 3 ( panels c and d ) .
the
power parameter for the on time , mon , of the core alone was 1.83 , while the off
the on and off probability parameters were mon = 0.87 and moff = 1.97 , showing
an increased probability of on events and decreased probability of
off events .
similar changes encountered in power law parameters from
the on and off distributions for traditional core and core / shell particles have been observed when blinking suppression
is achieved .
of 100 particles inspected for
the graded alloyed shell qds , a large fraction of the population exhibited
substantial blinking suppression , where almost a quarter of the population
exhibited > 99% on times with an ensemble average of 92.6
8.1% ,
as shown in figure 3e ) .
in addition , the infrequent
off times were of short durations , typically less than 200 ms ( see
figure 3f ) .
the fluorescent lifetime
of the graded shell qds exhibited mostly monoexponential behavior
( 89% 24.3 ns , 11% 2.1 ns ) having a characteristic lifetime of 24.0
ns ( see figure s4 of the supporting information ) .
such monoexponential lifetimes of the qd sample can be indicative
of a high fraction of the probes being primarily in on states during
excitation .
fisher et al . observed that both single and extrapolated
ensemble lifetimes of cdse / zns qds exhibit monoexponential behavior
of fluorescence lifetimes if the fluorescence lifetime is only mapped
for times where the single qd fluorescence exceeds the on state threshold . as dark and gray states are introduced into
the lifetime measurements , multiexponential behavior is observed due
to nonuniform fluctuations in the nonradiative rates present between
the individual particles . for application of qds in biological
experiments ,
three different ligands were chosen
to replace the as - synthesized organic ligands : a single thiol - anchored
peg of 5000 molecular weight ( hs-5000peg - och3 ) , a bidentate thiol - anchored
peg of 750 molecular weight ( ta-750peg - och3 ) , and a thin - layer multidentate
polymer with a mixture of thiol- and amine - anchoring groups ( for their
chemical structures , see figure s5 of the supporting
information ) .
after ligand exchange
of the qds , all particles were dispersed homogeneously in water . from
dls measurements ,
hydrodynamic diameters were 22 4.1 nm , 19
3.2 nm , and 14 2.0 nm for hs-5000peg - och3 , ta-750peg - och3 ,
and the multidentate polymer , respectively .
surprisingly , no
significant change in quantum yield ( < 3% ) was detected for any
of the qds after ligand exchange ( figure s6 of the supporting information ) .
decreases in quantum yield are typically
observed upon ligand exchange in the aqueous solubilization of qds ;
however , fluorescence efficiencies can be maintained if the shell
potential barrier is sufficient to keep exciton carriers insulated
within the core .
giant shell cdse / cds qds were similarly observed
to have quantum yields that were independent of the ligands present
on the surface of the nanocrystal .
the qds coated with three different hydrophilic ligands were also
compared in blinking behavior . remarkably , the blinking suppression
was invariant to the ligands in both the frequency and duration of
the off times ( see figure 4 ) .
the distributions
of ensemble on time percentages were similar for qds cast from hexane
solution ( 92.6 8.1% ) and the qds cast from aqueous solutions
having coatings of multidentate polymers ( 93.1 6.9% ) , ta-750peg - och3
( 94.2 5.1% ) , and hs-5000peg - och3 ( 93.5 6.4% ) .
to our
knowledge , this is the first qd synthesis method that is able to preserve
the optical properties of quantum yield and blinking suppression after
aqueous transfer using a variety of ligands . to demonstrate the benefit of using
blinking suppressed probes in live - cell single - molecule tracking ,
conventional core / shell qds composed of cdse / cds / zns with abrupt shell interfaces ( as - qds )
were compared to
the blinking - suppressed cdse / cd1xznxse / znse particles with gradient shells
( gs - qds ) .
both qds were conjugated to an antibody against the epidermal
growth factor receptor ( egfr ) to track the receptors on live a549
cells and imaged using conventional wide - field epifluorescence microscopy .
both qds had similar emission wavelengths of 630 and 620 nm , respectively ;
however , notable differences between the two probes were that the
gradient qd conjugates were 5.0 nm larger in hydrodynamic diameter
( hdas - qd = 26 5.8 nm and hdgs - qd = 31
6.4 nm ) and had slightly lower quantum yield of ( 50% compared
to 65% for the as - qds ) .
the as - qds had noticeable blinking , whereas
the gradient alloy qds rarely blink under similar imaging conditions .
despite differences in the hydrodynamic diameter between the as - qd
and gs - qd samples , both showed similar diffusional behavior .
during
the initial minutes ( <3 min ) of tracking , the msd showed a linear
relationship with time increment ( see figure 5 ) , indicative of brownian motion . at later time points , msd versus
time increment plots showed a plateau , indicating that the diffusion
of the particles is confined to a localized region within the membrane .
the switching of initial brownian diffusion to confined diffusion
behavior is commonly seen in single - particle tracking studies and is attributed to the particles being compartmentalized within
lipid rafts upon the cellular membrane . for the brownian regime ,
the free diffusion coefficients were found to be 0.085 m / s and 0.091 m / s for the as - qds and gs - qds ,
respectively .
the confinement diffusion coefficients and lengths were
also similar : 0.065 m / s and 159 nm for the gs - qd
and 0.087 m / s and 164 nm for the as - qd .
similar
diffusion coefficients and confinement sizes have been observed in
previous membrane receptor tracking experiments using qd probes .
in addition , the confinement lengths are within
the range of determined sizes of lipid rafts of cellular membranes
( 10200 nm ) .
dynamic intensity traces
of the blinking - suppressed gradient alloy
shell qds with aqueous solvating ligands of ( a ) the minimized multidentate
polymer , ( c ) ta-750peg - och3 , and ( e ) sh-5000peg - och3 , along with their corresponding on time percentage histograms
of 100 particles inspected for 600 s each ( b , d , f , respectively ) .
plots of mean square displacement ( msd ) versus
time for blinking
suppressed qds in a brownian diffusion regime where the extracted
linear fit diffusion coefficient is ( a ) 0.085 m / s , ( b ) blinking suppressed qds in a confined diffusion regime where
the diffusion coefficient is 0.065 m / s and the
confinement length is 159 nm , ( c ) traditional core / shell qd in a brownian
diffusion period with diffusion coefficient of 0.091 m / s , and ( d ) traditional qd in a confined diffusion period
with a diffusion coefficient of 0.087 m / s and confinement
length of 164 nm .
significant differences ,
however , were observed for the single
particle trajectories in terms of frame - to - frame correlation .
as shown
in figure 6 , an as - qd during an off state traveled
a distance near 250 nm before reappearing . during the faster brownian
diffusion regimes in the initial stages of the imaging experiment ,
most as - qds have significant regions where there is no signal to reconstruct
the trace , whereas the gs - qds exhibited no such limitations .
it was
deemed that signal disappearances of the as - qd were not due to movement
out of the field of view as membrane undulations are smaller than
the depth of field and possible endosomal
trafficking would not likely repeatedly return particles back to the
membrane within the recorded timescales of the experiment .
additionally ,
if such effects were occurring , the gs - qds should exhibit similar
behaviors , which were not observed .
dynamic intensity traces
were created of single emitters using
the wide - field ccd camera images , where intensity values are recorded
for each frame within a 60 s stack at a 33 hz frame rate ( figure 6 ) .
there were substantial fluctuations in the intensity
profile of the as - qd , whereas the gs - qds have much lower variance
in the intensity distribution during the 60 s interval .
in addition ,
although the single as - qd can yield signals almost 3 times brighter
than the gs - qd in several frames , this brightness is highly unstable .
thus , an inherent advantage of greater maximum brightness of the as - qd
is rarely of significant benefit due to signal intermittency .
( a ) tracking
trajectories of a gradient shell quantum dot ( gs - qd )
compared to a commercially available traditional abrupt shell qd ( as - qd )
targeted to egfr on live a549 cells . as can be seen in the traditional
qd , prolonged off
times gave rise to the disappearance
of probe signals and a series of blackout frames .
dynamic intensity traces obtained from the ccd images
during a tracking study from a single gs - qd and as - qd ( b and c , respectively ) . in conclusion , we have presented
a new strategy in synthesizing
blinking - suppressed , water - soluble qds and have demonstrated their
utility for live cell single - particle imaging and tracking . in particular ,
we have shown that linearly graded shells can be used to reduce carrier
probabilities at the particle surface and also to minimize internal
lattice defects at the core shell interface .
a surprising finding
is that the linearly graded shells also provide an efficient insulation
of the charge carriers from organic ligands , thus allowing solubilization
and bioconjugation of blinking - suppressed qds . regarding the detailed
mechanisms of qd blinking ,
our work has further highlighted the roles
of lattice defects not only at the particle surface but also at the
core shell boundary and inside the core and shell materials . | pubmed |
Harry Potter How To Remove a Wizarding Portrait 101
Summary: Fed up by the not so eloquent speeches shot her way by the late Walburga Black, Hermione decides to take matters into her own hands with a little help from Sirius. No pairings.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone created in the Harry Potter series. That all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I merely like to take the characters out of their boxes, dust them off, and play with them every once in a while. I make no money while doing so.
A/N: This is set between The Goblet of Fire and The Order of the Phoenix, during the summer before Harry comes to Grimmauld Place. In case you don't guess from my profile or the not-so-subtle hints herein, I am not in any way, shape, or form a Hermione/Ron shipper, so while I don't actually bash the character is this little one-shot (too badly), I also don't acknowledge JKR's canon couples.
Hermione Granger quietly entered the dark and dank home of the Order of the Phoenix. Her objective was very similar to the one she had the majority of her third year. She was not to be seen.
She had been trapped in the house for a week with a taskmaster named Molly Weasley who continued pushing her youngest son and her into forced, combined cleaning tasks. It was nice that Mrs. Weasley seemed to like her, but any romantic notions toward her youngest son were merely pipedreams as far as Hermione was concerned.
In the week she'd resided in the cesspit called Grimmauld Place, she'd come to despise the painting of the former Mrs. Black almost as much as Sirius did. Of course it was also charmed against magical attacks, so no matter what silencing charms or blasting hexes Padfoot tried, it didn't make a mark on the portrait or frame, much to the vicious amusement of an overly smug Mrs. Black. The woman was simply dreadful, and it was no wonder her eldest son ran away from home at sixteen. Honestly, she didn't know how he lasted that long.
The prior day, Molly enlisted Hermione and, of course, Ron to clean the floor and walls in the front hallway, which led to the young witch being berated for hours on end by the foul portrait. No matter how many times Sirius came out and yelled at her to shut up and pulled the curtains closed, the woman screeched and hurled her filthy epithets nonstop. It didn't help that Ron refused to keep his gob shut, or even to speak in a quiet enough tone to not repeatedly set off the old bat.
After being subjected to hours of verbal abuse, Hermione reached her breaking point. She cornered Sirius after dinner that night, and asked him to put his Marauder skills to good use. Hermione promised he would be rewarded greatly if he could distract the Weasleys for an hour or two in the morning.
Sirius had to admit, he was intrigued. According to his godson's letters, Hermione wasn't one for pranks, but she could be slightly vengeful if pushed hard enough. He wasn't certain what she planned, but his monotonous existence in his hellish childhood home led him to quickly agree.
Now she returned, triumphantly at that, with a generic plastic bag from the hardware store in hand. The curtains were drawn around Mrs. Black's portrait, and from the faint sounds of yelling coming from the direction of the kitchen, it sounded as if Sirius found a way to distract the Weasley matriarch quite well.
Hermione was afraid to leave her purchases in the front hall. Who knew what would happen if Kreacher found the items! Therefore, she kept the bag looped around her wrist, and gripped the thin plastic with her hand as a secondary safeguard.
When she entered the kitchen, Hermione cleared her throat several times before she was heard by the arguing occupants. Molly Weasley's face was impressively redder than her hair, but Sirius looked positively anticipatory, his eyes sparkling when they noticed her return.
Hermione asked if she could speak with Sirius in private. Molly tried to ship her off to find her dear Ronniekins to help in the cleaning, but Sirius put his foot down. They were in _his _home as _his _guests. If Hermione wanted an audience with him, he would grant it. After all, he owed her a life debt, didn't he?
Molly sputtered, but couldn't come up with anything to counter his logic. Hermione tried to hide her smile, but the corners of her mouth twitched anyway, giving away her amusement.
Sirius led the young witch to the library and cast a few silencing and locking charms at the door. Once their privacy was guaranteed, Hermione revealed her covert purchases, and explained the muggle items to the giddy master of the house.
"I'm afraid that you will have to use them yourself, Sirius. I'm quite sure if I were to do so Kreacher would show up and blast me into the next century. But, as distasteful as it is to me, you're his master so he can't harm or disobey you," she ruefully explained.
Sirius didn't care to advise her that Kreacher was just as likely to try and harm him for what they were plotting, but that his bond wouldn't let him do so. If the elf tried to stop him, despite Sirius' direct orders, the bond would require his death. This didn't phase him in the least after all the trauma Kreacher caused him during his childhood. Sirius remembered quite clearly his mother ordering the elf to beat him for being sorted into Gryffindor, and the elf's gleefully mad expression as he used elf magic to leave him bruised and bloody.
He, however, suddenly decided on a different course of action. Sirius didn't want to risk Hermione's safety after all, so he called Kreacher to him.
The dirty and crotchety old elf popped into the library where Sirius started to instruct him to go to his room and remain there until he called for him.
Hermione tugged on Sirius' sleeve, and tugged him down to whisper in his ear. The man's eyes grew wide, and he wondered why he'd never thought of the idea before. He remembered Lily once said that wizards didn't have a lick of common sense. He was afraid he'd just proven her correct.
"Wait! Before you go, Kreacher, from here on out, I, as Lord Black, command you to not follow the commands or beliefs of your old mistress, my mother. I command you to ignore her portrait, and to ignore any other Black aside from me or my godson, Harry Potter, until I give alternate instructions. As far as you're concerned, they don't exist."
Little did he know just how important those new orders would be in about eleven months' time, but that's another story.
The old elf looked positively scandalized, and shook a bit, pulling on his ears. Finally in the end, he bowed to Sirius.
"Kreacher lives to serve the Noble House of Black," and then he was gone, popped away to his room as previously ordered.
Once he released the privacy charms on the library, Sirius grabbed Hermione's hand and led her through the house to the entry hall. His step was quick and eager, and his eyes sparkled with unfettered mischief. It had been years since he was able to plan a prank. The fact that it was on his own mother just made it even better.
Hermione opened the bag, and removed a metal container. She gave it a few shakes before handing it over to her partner in crime. A second item, a mini-paint pan was withdrawn from the bag, along with a thick, bristled paint brush.
Sirius worked the cap free from the can before he poured a healthy amount into the pan Hermione held. He soaked the brush in the liquid, trying to saturate the bristles completely before he quietly pulled the curtains back from his mother's portrait. There she sat, snoozing in her hard backed chair, chin resting on her chest, with light snores emanating from the canvas.
As quietly as possible, Sirius dragged the brush around the edges of the painting, soaking it with the harsh chemical. His mother slept on, and his psychotic elf seemed to be obeying his command to remain in his room. They just might get away with this, he thought gleefully.
The portrait startled awake when the brush grazed against her arm. Immediately Mrs. Black glared at her disgrace of a son and the disgusting mudblood whore. She prepared to let loose another onslaught of insults, and tried to stand up. She found herself unable to do so, though. It was almost as if she was trapped in a smaller space. Walburga Black actually bumped her head on some invisible ceiling in her own portrait. Her eyes widened as she quickly looked around and found that the majority of her painting's background, which had been the family library, was missing with only miscellaneous flakes of paint still showing.
That little bitch smiled at her, and continued rubbing some silvery and squishy looking blob over her canvas. The nerve of that cretin to touch the painting of a pureblood such as herself! Ready to unload a verbal thrashing to surpass all those previous, she was derailed when she felt something jab at her bottom.
She looked down and saw her son with some contraption in his hand, a thick wooden handle with dark brown strands of something attached to the end. They looked like a sort of animal hair strapped together in a thick grouping. The strands rubbed against her bottom once more, and Walburga let out a yelp. It actually burned.
"What are you doing, you ungrateful brat," she shrieked.
"What I was never able to do while you were still alive," Sirius cheerfully responded. "Silencing you once and for all."
The paintbrush moved to her feet, and they burned with each stroke. Walburga's portrait shrieked in pain.
"Stop that! Stop that at once! I command you, you ungrateful blood traitorous whelp! Kreacher! Kreacher! Come at once and stop them! Kreacher!"
As soon as she called for the twisted old elf, Sirius grabbed the steel wool from Hermione's hand. He had commanded Kreacher to ignore the painting, but the elf was so conditioned over the years to listen to his mother he did worry. The last thing he wanted was for Hermione to be injured in all of this should the bloody elf disobey him. She was providing the most fun he'd had in _years _after all.
When Kreacher didn't appear, Sirius turned back to his mother's portrait, or what was left of it. He grinned at his mother brightly.
"Kreacher now obeys the current Lord Black. I've instructed him to ignore you, mother. Unless you plan to rise from the dead and hex me, we have…what did you call it again, Hermione?"
"A home improvement project, Sirius," the girl smirked at the outraged portrait.
"Yes, yes, a fitting name indeed! A home improvement project to complete."
Walburga knew she lost any chance possible to save her portrait, to remain in her noble house, and to try and torture her disgusting offspring. Oh, if only her younger son had lived!
"Know, Mother, that this will be the final time you ever see this house, or hold any sway over who enters, and what happens here. Your vicious rule ends here and now."
She continued to scream even as the brush drenched the painting in turpentine over and over. Once the canvas was dripping with the liquid, Sirius handed Hermione the brush, and took the steel wool to work over the canvas, rubbing away any trace of the woman once known as Walburga Black.
Sirius was elated. He was finally rid of his vile mother.
He put down their weapons of destruction, grabbed Hermione's hands and danced a jig with her right there in the front hallway.
That's how Molly Weasley found them five minutes later, singing and dancing up a storm.
"What on earth is going on here," she asked, face clearly showing her bewilderment.
"Hermione was just giving me a lesson, Molly. She's absolutely brilliant. Did you know that?"
Molly's eyes squinted at the lord of the house. He had quite a reputation with the ladies in his day, and she would not put up with his shenanigans, especially if they centered around an innocent young girl like Hermione.
"What kind of lesson," she asked warily.
Hermione beamed at her and waved a hand at the now destroyed portrait of Walburga Black.
"How to Remove a Wizarding Portrait 101. It's a beginner's class, but Sirius passed with flying colors."
The Order feasted well that night in celebration of Sirius and Hermione's accomplishment.
Tonks loudly demanded to know what her cousin planned to do with the blasted troll leg umbrella stand at the front door. Hermione silently mulled over their options. Hmm, the house was under the Fidelius. Maybe the front stoop could use a planter with some flowers to brighten up the place. It looked like she would be making a trip to the gardening center tomorrow.
End file.
| fanfiction |
the spatial distribution , mass function and redshift evolution of clusters of galaxies are sensitive functions of cosmology .
the space density @xmath8 of clusters predicted by analytical models ( press & schechter 1974 ; lacey & cole 1993 ; sheth , mo & tormen 2001 ) and numerical simulations ( navarro , frenk & white 1995 ; eke , cole & frenk 1996 ; jenkins 2000 ; bode 2001 ) can be related to ( more easily ) observable properties such as the x - ray temperatures and luminosities of clusters via simple scaling relations .
assuming that the x - ray gas in clusters is virialized and in hydrostatic equilibrium , the mass , @xmath9 , within radius @xmath10 ( inside which the mean mass density is @xmath11 times the critical density , @xmath12 , at that epoch ) is related to the mean mass - weighted temperature within that radius , @xmath13 , by @xmath14 . here , @xmath15 , where @xmath16 is the redshift - dependent hubble constant ( bryan & norman 1998 ) .
since the x - rays from rich clusters are primarily bremsstrahlung emission , one can also show that @xmath17 , where @xmath18 is the bolometric luminosity from within radius @xmath10 .
the validity of these simple scaling relations is supported by numerical simulations ( evrard , metzler & navarro 1996 ; bryan & norman 1998 ; thomas 2001 ; mathiesen & evrard 2001 ) , although the normalization of the mass - temperature relation exhibits some variation from study to study ( the normalization of bryan & norman 1998 is 17 per cent higher than that of evrard , metzler & navarro 1996 for @xmath19 ; see also table 1 of afshordi & cen 2001 ) .
the normalization of the luminosity - temperature relation is more difficult to predict due to the potentially complex physics of the x - ray gas in the innermost regions of clusters from where the bulk of the x - ray luminosity arises .
recent observational determinations of the mass - temperature relation , based on asca and rosat data for relatively hot ( @xmath20 kev ) clusters ( horner , mushotzky & scharf 1999 ; nevalainen , markevitch & forman 2000 ; finoguenov , reiprich & bhringer 2001 ) have recovered a slope consistent with the simple scaling - law predictions , although the observed normalizations are typically @xmath6 per cent lower than predicted by the simulations of evrard , metzler & navarro ( 1996 ) for a standard cold dark matter ( scdm ) cosmology . for clusters at lower temperatures ,
some steepening of the mass - temperature relation is inferred ( nevalainen 2000 , finoguenov 2001 ) .
studies of the luminosity - temperature relation ( white , jones & forman 1997 ; allen & fabian 1998 ; markevitch 1998 ; arnaud & evrard 1999 ) have generally measured @xmath21 , whereas theory predicts @xmath22 .
this has been taken as evidence for significant pre - heating and/or cooling in cluster cores ( kaiser 1991 ; evrard & henry 1991 ; cavaliere , menci & tozzi 1997 ; pearce 2000 ; bialek , evrard & mohr 2001 ) .
allen & fabian ( 1998 ) have shown that for hot ( @xmath23 kev ) , relaxed clusters @xmath24 is recovered once the effects of cool , central components are accounted for in the spectral x - ray analysis , suggesting ( in agreement with the later mass - temperature results ) that pre - heating may only significantly affect the properties of cooler , less - luminous clusters . a major goal of studies with the new generation of x - ray missions including the chandra observatory and xmm - newton , which permit the first direct spatially - resolved x - ray spectroscopy of hot , distant clusters , is the verification and accurate calibration of the virial relations for galaxy clusters . in particular , detailed studies of systems for which precise mass measurements have been made using other , independent methods are required . an early attempt at combining x - ray and gravitational lensing data for clusters observed with the asca satellite to study the mass - temperature relation was presented by hjorth , oukbir & van kampen ( 1998 ) .
in this letter we use new chandra observations to determine the x - ray virial relations for a sample of luminous , relatively relaxed clusters spanning the redshift range @xmath25 , for which lensing mass measurements are available and have been shown to be in good agreement with the chandra results ( section 2 ; see allen 1998 , bhringer 1998 for earlier results ) .
we present gas mass - weighted temperatures , bolometric luminosities and total mass measurements within radii corresponding to a fixed overdensity @xmath0 at the redshifts of the clusters , and compare the observed scaling relations between these quantities with those predicted by simulations .
results are given for two cosmologies : scdm with @xmath26@xmath27 , @xmath28 and @xmath29 , and @xmath7cdm with @xmath30 , @xmath31 and @xmath32 .
-0.2truein .summary of the chandra observations .
[ cols="^,^,^,^,^,^,^ " , ] we note that the data for pks0745 - 191 do not quite reach to @xmath2 and for this cluster we have extrapolated @xmath33 using a power - law fit to the luminosity data in the range @xmath34 .
( we assume that the temperature remains constant beyond @xmath35 . )
the lensing and x - ray mass results for the clusters in our sample are discussed in detail by allen ( 2001b ; abell 2390 ) , schmidt ( 2001 ; abell 1835 ) , allen ( 2001c ; rxj1347 - 1145 ) and allen , in preparation ( pks0745 - 191 ; ms2137 - 2353 ; see also wise in preparation ) .
although independent confirmation of the x - ray mass results for 3c295 ( allen 2001a ) is not available , we include this cluster in the analysis of the temperature - luminosity relation since in other ways it appears similar to the other objects in the sample .
[ fig : kt ] shows the observed ( projected ) , spectrally - determined temperature profiles in the clusters , in units of the mean gas mass - weighted temperature , @xmath36 and with the radial axis scaled in units of @xmath2
. the @xmath7cdm cosmology is assumed .
the clusters exhibit similar scaled - temperature profiles which rise within @xmath37 and then remain approximately isothermal out to @xmath2 .
the combined data set can be modelled using a simple function of the form @xmath38 $ ] where @xmath39 , @xmath40 , @xmath41 , @xmath42 and @xmath43 . fig .
[ fig : mt ] shows the @xmath44 relations for the scdm and @xmath7cdm cosmologies .
fitting only the data for those clusters for which independent confirmation of the x - ray mass results is available from lensing studies ( _ i.e. _ excluding 3c295 from the present sample ) using a power - law model of the form @xmath45 and a @xmath46 estimator , we obtain @xmath47 , @xmath48 for scdm ( @xmath49 ) and @xmath50 , @xmath51 for @xmath7cdm ( @xmath30 ) . fixing the slope at @xmath52
, we measure normalizations of @xmath53 ( scdm ) and @xmath54 ( @xmath7cdm ) .
uncertainties are quoted at the 68 per cent confidence level . using the modified least - squares estimator of fasano & vio ( 1988 ) , which accounts for errors in both axes ,
we obtain values @xmath55 , @xmath56 for scdm and @xmath57 , @xmath58 for the @xmath7cdm cosmology .
we conclude that the measured slope is consistent with the expected value of @xmath52 in all cases . the dotted curves in figs .
[ fig : mt]a , b show the predicted ( zero - redshift ) relations for the scdm [ @xmath59 and @xmath7cdm [ @xmath60 cosmologies from the hydrodynamical simulations of evrard ( 1996 ) and mathiesen & evrard ( 2001 ) , respectively .
we have scaled the predicted curves from @xmath61 to @xmath62 assuming @xmath63 , which is consistent with the range of best - fit nfw mass models , and the scdm simulations of evrard ( 1996 ; see their table 5 ) .
note that allowing for the presence of temperature gradients ( @xmath64 ) in the simulated clusters when applying this scaling does not affect the best - fit parameters for the theoretical @xmath44 curves , since the curves are simply mapped onto themselves .
for both scdm and @xmath7cdm , the predicted normalization lies approximately 40 per cent above the observed value . fig .
[ fig : lt ] shows the @xmath65 relation for the @xmath7cdm cosmology .
fitting the @xmath65 data for all six clusters using a power - law model of the form @xmath66 and a @xmath46 estimator , we obtain @xmath67 , @xmath68 for scdm , and @xmath69 , @xmath70 for @xmath7cdm . using the bces(@xmath71 )
estimator of akritas & bershady ( 1996 ) , which accounts for errors in both axes and the presence of possible intrinsic scatter , we obtain @xmath72 , @xmath73 for scdm and @xmath74 , @xmath75 for @xmath7cdm .
we conclude that the slope of the temperature - luminosity relation for the present sample of hot , relaxed clusters is consistent with the predicted value of @xmath76 ( section 1 ) .
fixing @xmath77 results in a poor fit : @xmath78 for 5 degrees of freedom , as opposed to @xmath79 with @xmath76 ( @xmath7cdm ) .
we have shown that within radii @xmath2 , corresponding to a fixed density contrast @xmath80 with respect to the critical density at the redshifts of the clusters , the temperature profiles for the present sample of luminous , relatively relaxed lensing clusters exhibit an approximately universal form which rises within @xmath81 and then remains approximately constant out to @xmath2 .
the enclosed masses , bolometric luminosities and mean gas mass - weighted temperatures within these radii scale in manner consistent with the predictions from the simple virial relations outlined in section 1 .
we have confirmed the presence of a systematic offset of @xmath6 per cent between the normalizations of the observed and predicted @xmath44 curves , in the sense that the predicted temperatures are too low for a given mass , for both the scdm and @xmath7cdm cosmologies .
an important aspect of the present study is that independent confirmation of the x - ray mass measurements is available from gravitational lensing studies . for both abell 2390 and rxj1347 - 1145
, the x - ray and weak lensing mass profiles are consistent within their 68 per cent confidence limits . for abell 1835 , 2390
, ms2137 - 2353 and pks0745 - 191 , the observed strong lensing configurations ( on scales @xmath82kpc ) can be explained by mass models within the 68 per cent chandra confidence contours , although redshift measurements for the arcs ( which are required to define the lensing masses precisely ) are not available in all cases .
thus , the presence of significant non - thermal pressure support ( arising from turbulent and/or bulk motions and/or magnetic fields ) can be excluded .
we conclude that the systematic uncertainties associated with the individual mass measurements are small ( @xmath83 per cent ) .
the offset between the observed and simulated mass - temperature curves can not be explained by invoking an earlier formation redshift for the observed clusters ( we assume that the clusters form at the redshifts they are observed ) since , for the measured nfw mass distributions , @xmath84 drops as fast or faster than @xmath85 rises as the formation redshift is increased .
our results suggest that on the spatial scales studied here , important physics may be missing from the reference simulations .
one possible candidate is radiative cooling of the x - ray gas , which the chandra data show to be significant within @xmath86 ( allen 2001a , b , c ; david 2001 ; schmidt 2001 ) .
pearce ( 2000 ) show that the introduction of radiative cooling into their hydrodynamical simulations can lead to central temperature drops similar to those in fig .
[ fig : kt ] .
these authors also argue that cooling can lead to a significant increase in the mass - weighted temperature within @xmath87 ( as cooled , low - entropy gas is deposited and warmer , high - entropy material flows inwards and is compressed ) , which may be sufficient to account for the discrepancy between the observed and simulated curves .
detailed simulations of the @xmath44 relation for large a sample of massive clusters , including the effects of radiative cooling , are required to address this issue .
the results presented in this paper should provide a useful calibrator for future studies of the x - ray properties of galaxy clusters .
in future work we will examine the constraints that the present data place on radial variations in the x - ray gas mass fraction in the clusters and , therefore , @xmath88 .
we will also explore the ability of different parameterized mass models to explain the observed x - ray gas temperature and density profiles .
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jones c. , forman w. , 1997 , mnras , 292 , 419 | arxiv |
How to determine at temperature and pressure to keep Cl2 a gas?
I have chlorine tanks and they will be used industrially. When I use them, they will be exposed to all sorts of varying temperatures. I was wondering if there was any way that when I use them, I could figure out at what pressure I could release the $\ce{Cl2}$, depending on the temperature, so that it remains a gas?
I already know it only takes $\pu{6.8 atm}$ at $\pu{70^\circ C}$ to liquefy $\ce{Cl2}$ to a volume of $\pu{0.322812 L}$, and its boiling point is $\pu{-33.97 ^\circ C}$ at $\pu{1 atm}$.
What you need to know is the vapor pressure of $\ce{Cl2}$ as a function of temperature. Just ensure that the release pressure of the chlorine is lower than the vapor pressure, and it will be a vapor.
I found [one web site](http://www.resistoflex.com/chlorine_graphs.htm) that gives a graph (and a literature reference) of $\ce{Cl2}$ vapor pressure as a function of temperature from -30 °F to 220 °F. The references they give are:
>
> Reprinted from Chlorine Manual, the Chlorine Institute, 3rd ed. 1959. Data for graph from R. Kapoor and J.J. Martin, Thermodynamic Properties of Chlorine, Eng. Res. Inst. Univ. of Michigan, 1957.
>
>
>
At -30 °F they report $\ce{Cl2}$ vapor pressure is "0" psi (which has to be an approximation; the vapor pressure of all materials is non-zero at any non-zero temperature) and at 220 °F it is 587 psi.
| stackexchange/chemistry |
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