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407,200 | And that, kids, is how I met your mother. | {
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407,201 | Every ex is now named Ken. | {
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407,202 | Camping is in tents. Got it. | {
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407,203 | Bolton held Harrenhal, he gonna die | {
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407,204 | She made aa sex tape with the brother of a rap star and it got leaked.\n\nThat is why she is famous.\n\nNo, Seriously. | {
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407,205 | I don't think so. I read the very last one about Igor Zukelman. It told a story about his buying a shitty car and being proud of it because it was a sign he was integrating into American society. He later became a citizen, and he helped his brother in law get through the grief after his sister and her children died. \n\nI would say it's more in depth and well written than an obituary. But they are short, somewhat similar. | {
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407,206 | Hey dude, you don't need those meds. Isn't life more fun in our company? | {
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407,207 | At first I thought the last one he flicked off to the left was just being thrown away. Then I realized it came back in from the right side of the screen.\n\nWat. | {
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407,208 | Identity theft is not a joke Jim! | {
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407,209 | 90% of those are my fault. | {
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407,210 | I honestly don't understand people like that. It seems like they don't like working with kids at all, which is exactly the wrong attitude to have for this job. It'd be weird for me to have a bus full of people not making any noise at all, I like to talk to the kids. | {
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407,211 | Serious question here: does the letter 'u' in words like "colour" actually affect its pronunciation? To us Yanks it seems to be a silent letter, which gives us full Constitutional rights from God and the Founding Fathers to strike it from the word!\n\n*TL;DR: Murca!*\n\n*EDIT* - "us Yanks", not "we Yanks"... I rewrote the sentence but didn't make the pronoun match the structure. | {
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407,212 | "You might find out what they have already discovered that's new" | {
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407,213 | 8:30? well, i guess we'll have to skip dinner and go straight to sex. | {
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407,214 | Looks like she...\n\n*puts on sunglasses*\n\n... has an eye for details. | {
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407,215 | I would think the social stigma of being that cheap would keep anyone from throwing their reputation down the drain. Country Club especially foster the idea of keeping your image, this display probably got her knocked down a whole lot in her social group. What a cheap asshole. | {
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407,216 | Also, people typically exhale smoke so it doesn't "just fucking sit there." | {
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407,217 | Because hyphens matter | {
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407,218 | get off your bike and carry it. | {
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407,219 | This should be its own anti-terrorism group. They just sit in a room with hundreds of phones, dialing Afghanistan phone numbers and potentially foiling phone bombers. | {
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407,220 | It's funny (not funny but sad really) that most of the ones indicating ACTUAL poverty are the cleanest ones\n\nFor example - 7 is pretty clean really, but the place is a dump\n\nBut then 9 looks like it's in a flat or something, and that shit is scarily unclean... | {
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407,221 | That's why residency exists. I definitely busted my balls memorizing in medical school, but I'll be on a whole other level in residency. | {
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407,222 | Could you hook us up with full body images for the next split? | {
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407,223 | Sorry, you're not karma wealthy enough. | {
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407,224 | True, but Craig Kilborn just did a bland late night comedy news show. It was basically "let's take Weekend Update and make a show out of it."\n\nJon Stewart made the Daily Show a household name by giving it a real agenda, by not being afraid of being directly political and to take issues head on with real opinions. | {
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407,225 | NSFL next time a heads up would be nice. | {
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407,226 | Or how you can't highlight just part of a text message without copying the ENTIRE FUCKING MESSAGE. | {
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407,227 | My grandfather brought back a officer's sword and a Arisaka type 99. I got the Arisaka my cousin got the sword. Sometimes I wish I could have gotten the sword. | {
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407,228 | Pornhub video uploader. | {
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407,229 | He probably knows how it ends. | {
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407,230 | The fact that she found that top, and put a hole in it with scissors instead of just giving me the shot of water adds to the ridiculousness of it. | {
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407,231 | He used to be a gilded redditor, then he took an arrow to the knee. | {
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407,232 | Step 1: Be attractive\n\nStep 2: Don't be unattractive | {
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407,233 | So he's a normal redditor? | {
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407,234 | Is it weird that instead of finding this story funny I just felt bad for the substitute? Guess I'm going soft. | {
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407,235 | "[extremely popular game] is the most underrated game of all time, you guys should get it." | {
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407,236 | I figured they'd just order a pizza from Little Seizures. | {
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407,237 | The grenade were Platre grenade, basically fake grenade used in training in the army. The gun used were extremely low caliber (weapon to shoot birds). Wouldn't kill a human unless shot point blank in eye and heart. \nIt's a pistolet a grenaille.\nSource : le monde a French newspaper | {
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407,238 | >The trick is to pick an actress you like, but are unlikely to see in any movies you want to enjoy so you don't have to endure any jealous ribbing when you two are watching the movie.\n\nNow, that was a protip if I ever saw one! You, my friend, are a smooth operator.\n | {
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407,239 | So, you're telling me I can get OFF the board now?! | {
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407,240 | >Basically I just sad in a room\n\nWhoa, that's deep. | {
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407,241 | My dad would have had my car crushed and sent me the video if I tried something like that. Then he would have kicked my ass. | {
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407,242 | I find your honesty refreshing.\n\n[](/twismile) | {
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407,243 | Just a ball and a dream. Occasionally a score as well. | {
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407,244 | You Americans and your fancy words! | {
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407,245 | how uniquely american! | {
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407,246 | Is there a chance the track could bend?\n\nYes. Yes there is. | {
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407,247 | Phreak cereal: Tons of vitamins and minerals! Now with sheen and phage marshmallows! | {
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407,248 | It's such an obvious display of "I have no idea what a traffic hazard is;" these people are simply bad and unsafe drivers. | {
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407,249 | Sorry, gotta impound them as evidence. | {
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407,250 | Or use a bucket of water to wash them all into one corner. | {
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407,251 | It's definitely the fact that in its own social context, it was abuse. I don't think that the sex itself is what fucked me up, but more the fact that it's such a taboo relationship and it's considered heinous child abuse that affects me the most. If it had been something that was socially acceptable, I may very well have continued to enjoy it, although that is an unpleasant thought. | {
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407,252 | gotta love karmawhoring | {
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407,253 | Well no because he can translate, host, is a good interviewer, and understands the game well enough to ask difficult questions.\n\nDoing all that at once is hard. Chobra probably is the best host for Western League.\n\nHe's the host we deserve. | {
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407,254 | Evolution has no moral direction. | {
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407,255 | I'm trying to understand the thought process of someone making death threats against the wife of an *alleged fake internet story-maker-upper*. \n\nNot the alleged internet story maker-upper himself, mind you. His **wife**. \n\n\nI haven't gotten very far. | {
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407,256 | Of course I am! It's a little girl, not a little boy! ...... ^I'll ^just ^take ^a ^seat ^over ^here. | {
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407,257 | Once you know the algorithm you just need a nerd to type it in a computer and you're rich. You may need to search Wikipedia for some math and stuff. I've heard Euler is good. | {
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407,258 | That's what he thinks about when he's on a vehicle? My God, I feel like an idiot. What I do think about all day? "I can't wait until I get to eat those chips tonight." "I'm so horny." "I hate work." "I would be so much happier if magic was real."\n\nUgh, I hate myself. | {
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407,259 | For reference, the watch in the .gif is [Patek Philippe's 175th Anniversary watch](http://www.patek.com/contents/default/en/5175R_001.html). It's on auction for $2.6m. \n\nedit: Looking into it a little more - turns out there were only 7 manufactured, the first of which is in the Patek Philippe museum, and the 'RRP' of the remaining 6 is approximately $2.6m.\n\nedit2: edited edit 1 | {
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407,260 | That photographer is actually the Presidents personal photographer. He follows the President everywhere and get to photograph everything. Here is a link to part of the documentary about him. \n\n[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeVkHt2c6eY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeVkHt2c6eY) | {
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407,261 | I read this in a Mexican accent. Made more sense | {
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407,262 | Well I used to be afraid of someone bombing the Palisades mall or the Lincoln Tunnel. But I don't think that'll happen. It was just post-9/11 fear.\nAm I the only one who had rational fears as a child? | {
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407,263 | A group of crows is known as a 'murder'. | {
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407,264 | Because that "university" doesn't provide education. | {
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407,265 | Hey, at the very least they are ACKNOWLEDGING that there is a problem. Baby steps | {
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407,266 | The people have actually spoken on this. Studies show the American people want NASA to explore. I know there is the tradeoff with how much science robots can do but great nations tend to do great things. And let's face it. Putting a person Mars would probably be the greatest accomplishment of the century. So I'm going to go with manned colonization of teh solar system starting with teh moon then mars. | {
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407,267 | Needlessly Large Rods \n\n;) | {
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407,268 | That's. Heartbreaking.\n\nThere was this kid I knew who really started stressing about marriage while in kindergarten, even asking me to be 'the one.' When I said no because of the age difference, the kid was like, "How will I ever find someone to marry me!?" in a really dramatic tone. | {
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407,269 | Yeah, but she's obviously a Christian, and doesn't care about hatred towards us athiests, as we're going to hell anyway, or something. | {
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407,270 | That is pretty much a a direct quote from her | {
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407,271 | Worst pun thread I have ever seen. | {
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407,272 | The second i read the title | {
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407,273 | Yeah, we should just yell out "DAT SHIT'S GOOD!". | {
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407,274 | > Communist Kart\n\nFTFY | {
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407,275 | From now on instead of calm your tits people will say "calm your full frontal opinions on abortions!"\n\nEdit: just wanted to link to one of the last posts that I posted in trollx over a month ago. [That evil is upon me now :(]( https://www.reddit.com/r/TrollXChromosomes/comments/2num6j/hif_when_i_see_that_one_of_my_posts_is_in_or_on/?sort=confidence) | {
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407,276 | I'll add his on-air brother and best friend Jason Bateman for the opposite reason. I watched his "Inside the Actor's Studio" (with the Warden!) and he talks about how he's always tried to stay grounded even though he was a child actor. He's kept the same agent (might be manager, can't remember) for his whole career, which speaks to his loyalty. And just watch the way he speaks about his wife. Part 1 can be seen [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhSmoXv4AXE). | {
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407,277 | Just ask them if it would/should be alright for wives to strap on dildos, lube up their husband's buttpucker, and ride him while he is asleep. Watch the mental acrobats as they try to defend one act while condemning the other. | {
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407,278 | He's a comedian. He's doing this for his comedic career, not because he wants to be a politician. | {
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407,279 | I am going to risk the downvotes and say YES EVEN WEED guys. It does affect your driving skills. I have done it and do stupid shit like stop at greens or go on a red when I see some other light turn green. Very uncharacteristic lapses of judgment when I drive high. Don't do it any more. Shit, I even pulled up to a mcdonalds drive-through that was closed with all the lights off in the parking lot for about 5 minutes before I figured out they were closed. | {
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407,280 | I agree with you 100%. Whenever I walk into the MoMa and see what these people consider "art", I just end up leaving confused.\n\nModern art is no longer about art but about some story explaining the art. | {
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407,281 | With a rusty screw you risk other problems, too. Just tilt your head and light a lighter. | {
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407,282 | Most nudists are middle aged white guys with huge beer bellies that think it's liberating that everybody else can see their dick while they can't see their own. | {
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407,283 | /r/wtf has mods?\nWhy the fuck can't they manage it instead of letting it be /r/funny or /r/mildlyinteresting ? | {
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407,284 | My guess is that there was a coding issue in early gens due to the unusual evolutionary line. | {
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407,285 | Good one, I laughed until my voice got horse! | {
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407,286 | I love my watch. Professional, sophisticated, and the ladies love them. | {
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407,287 | The video of Holger tearing up as Dirk is accepting his Finals MVP trophy makes me cry everytim | {
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407,288 | **COMMENT KARMA IS BEST KARMA.** | {
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407,289 | This isn't normal behaviour anywhere, let alone in conservative areas of India. What the fuck? | {
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407,290 | Yup. They remove their fuzzy-wuzzy coats, scrape off the subcutaneous fat, render it down and we smear it on our footwear made from the dried skins of other animals. TOP OF THE FOODCHAIN BITCHES. | {
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407,291 | And then the pillaging starts. | {
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407,292 | As a muslim going to upvote because I want more people to think like you. It really is surprising, even on Reddit, how close minded a lot of people are. | {
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407,293 | TIL Confucius had a daughter. | {
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407,294 | I still shudder from that AMA. | {
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407,295 | isn't that what he meant by the garden hose? | {
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407,296 | The latest two updates have added "Cannot load link" if it hasn't been opened in the last ten minutes and stuttering video. I can't understand how adding in Lollipop compatability is killing my Jellybean experience. | {
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407,297 | I thought it was lipstick from the celebratory kisses. | {
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407,298 | In his defense, his idea is not like Youtube and the reductionist dismissal of his idea is really offensive.\n\nIt's like Vimeo.\n\nEDIT: Oh, apparently someone already made that joke in the original thread. | {
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407,299 | *So expensive*... I think I'll get GTA: V over it but if Rockstar screw us then this is on the radar... but that is so much XD | {
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