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'I don't see race. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because I think "the Chronic" refers to lower back pain.'
-Stephen Colbert | {
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Why do people always say things like “go berzerk” instead of focusing on the aspect that their animal is in *horrible, damaging, traumatizing pain*?
It’s like saying: “Oooh, that guy lying there bleeding, is sooo annoying with its screams and twitches! I don’t want people to annoy me by going berzerk like that.”
Those are seriously wrong priorities. | {
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During puberty, you can just get the random boners too. Not linked to any sort of sexual tension or activity, just your dick letting you know it still works.
Not great timing for me, happened before I gave a presentation. | {
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I will also but I want 100m. This guy isn't doing us any favors | {
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The problem is I can never properly gauge when things like this are okay. On one hand it's hilarious and makes for a great memory, on the other hand I can imagine someone going "dude, chill for like 3 seconds! I'm about to get married!" | {
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> Imagine if she would have been alone.
I'm usually 100% against the phrase "asking to be raped", but a woman travelling alone to Egypt is pretty much that. | {
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Fuckin oxy man. So many people get hooked on it without even realizing. | {
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Ohh so now you need to be important to be mocked.. I'm not even that important..
It's nice to feel superior about something though isn't it.. | {
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Haha, something similar happened to me as well! Was teaching English at a kindergarten in Japan. One day, a slightly older student (if memory serves, around 5-6) ran up to me as I was sitting on the floor. She patted me right on the ol' bosom, proclaiming "oppai!" (breasts!), and ran off giggling. | {
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Amazing your level of ignorance on the subject. The product of a government approved programming center no doubt. | {
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Unlike in other countries where the homeless are loved by all and frequently involved in tickle parties at the local kindergarden. | {
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come on... seriously? What if he shot a cop?
A civilian?
he shot the only person i don't care about him shooting.
his life. his decisions.
i bet he knew he was gonna be carrying a shotgun when he put his shoes on. | {
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Anybody else just sit up after reading this? | {
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I do believe the idea is to stop people from calling either a natural born American or foreigner that. Cause you know that's being a dick.
Lets just call it what it is being a dick. Don't ban the word ban the dicks. ( No I don't mean men. ) | {
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It can be everyday if you get a girlfriend feggit | {
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Sucks you're being downvoted for being correct, but you knew that the patriarchy had hold on reddit, as it does all things. | {
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I learned this from the Koran. Completely serious. | {
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This new meme... I like it. | {
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I don't live in your state but I make it point to donate $50 to anyone that opposes her. Best of luck to you sir, may you send that dingbat packing. | {
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I see prettier girls than her on my way to work. Why should I care who she is? | {
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You'll find Bigfoot before you find that job. | {
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every fight in sao is retarded. shit anime | {
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Damn it feels good to take a shit. | {
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Oh so the phone shutting off for 2 hours was also just condensation and I should just wait 24 hours every time my water proof phone gets wet? Okay. | {
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I kept waiting for it at the end of "Passion of the Christ" | {
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Lol, dig 'em up. And make sure you understand the article next time before you post a misleading headline about it. Maybe just have it suggest a title if you can't get it right. | {
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You can get to your drug dealer's house faster. | {
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Yes i fucking realize he fucking used his fucking book for proof! I just want to fucking know what the actual fucking proof is! My God! | {
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TIL that the title to that movie can be typed using only the left hand... | {
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Wait you really think transgender ex-men should be allowed to use women's locker rooms and bathrooms? What a ridiculous stance.
Answer me this, why are you treating the OP like shit by not giving her advice she clearly could use? | {
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This is purely speculative, but I think part of it is that people are uncomfortable checking a box that acknowledges their mortality. | {
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He went probe rush rush rush I believe. Fatal mistake. He didn't have an eight probe at 7 supply... | {
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Sounds like she'd put the cheese in someone else's sandwich.
edit: thankfully, this is now my most upvoted comment, replacing that time I was talking about Mr Peter's balls. | {
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http://i.qkme.me/3ocj4e.jpg | {
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One of the benefits of drive ng a late 80s Ford truck I bought from the junkyard. I wouldn't have to get out. | {
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yeah man good job keeping cool after telling someone you want to punch their friend in the face | {
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***SHIT PISS ASS CUNT BITCH MOTHERFUCKER***
there now its warranted | {
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all your feels are belong to us | {
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LOL.
Who ever heard of direct, professional communication between work colleagues?
The only correct way to deal with anything like this is to vent on the internt. | {
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*in America
I went to four different schools growing up and never presenced bullying turn physical or any severe verbal case. You people need to fix your fucking shitty ass culture. | {
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you said you wouldn't tell anyone | {
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Haha guys u see I made a joke about the bible! Never mind that it made all of the sense and was totally relevant! Fuck yeah r/politics!1111 | {
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"WHAT DID THAT GUY SAY? I DIDN'T HEAR HIM. OH, WHAT DID HE SAY THERE? I WAS TALKING OVER IT, OKAY, WHAT DID HE SAY THERE, WHAT'S GOING ON, WHAT MOVIE IS THIS?"
you would know all of that if you would just please stfu. | {
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http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/04/on-armenian-remembrance-day-obama-again-avoids-the-word-genocide-despite-campaign-promise-to-contrary/
Obama stilll doesn't recognize it as a "genocide" | {
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Everyone else in your neighborhood can go fuck themselves. | {
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Elephants are only useful for their ivory and succulent trunk meat. | {
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What a way to go out with a statement. Dude basically lived the dream for a year being a star linebacker and decided he'd had his fill. That's nuts in an awesome kind of way. | {
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Good try, but NBC pushed higher numbers than this. | {
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Your boss is a fucking badass. | {
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Injecting water in your veins will kill you anyway. | {
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You forgot the payday loan shop, then again sometimes its also a liquor store. | {
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have an upvote
EDIT: lulz downvotes... KEEP EM COMING AI AINT AFRAID OF YOUR DOWN VOTES MWA HAHAHAHAHA
EDIT2: well my comment karma went from 222 to 190.... worth it to troll...
EDIT3: KEEP EM COMING HATERS! IM DOWN TO 175 COMMENT KARMA | {
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Easily the worst show I've ever seen. I've never seen a band more unenthused to be on stage or a band use so many fucking pre recorded tracks. You'd hear an entire key board solo or something yet see the keyboardist back there scratching his nose. Super lame. So lame! DAMN YOU MGMT | {
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Reducing calorie intake is not mandatory - you should much rather steer clear of simple carbs and saturated fatty acids.
But there's plenty reading material in the sidebar. | {
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> "I will giving to you some relatives of the nickel instead"
*hands you a dime cut in half* | {
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I like to think that smart people gravitate towards stupid people in an attempt to teach them what *they*'ve figured out. At least I *hope* it works that way...
^^I ^^hope ^^my ^^edit ^^makes ^^things ^^better... | {
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"Can I order a drink, too?"
"You *can* but I really don't think you'll want to, sir." | {
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Don't make too much fun of this kid; he's probably going to end up owning half of America or something someday. | {
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Like mosquitoes? Do you just find them lying around in your house?
"Damn, another kangaroo. I need more of that 'Roo Spray" | {
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What about a man getting slapped around by an abusive women out of curiosity? | {
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He's here to kick ass and eat pizza... and he still has some pizza to go. | {
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Why don't you tie your dicks together and get married | {
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it's reddit. i think we have time. | {
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Hey! Just because she's fat doesn't mean she should be recorded and humiliated by other people!
/s | {
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they would be as confused as a chameleon in a bag of skittles.... :( | {
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Im not acting like it's not, I know it's 100% a repost. The point is the version of the submission showing any popularity contained "fuck" in the title, which I find to be pretty sad to say the least. | {
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You just replied to yourself. | {
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I'm glad you've let your superior knowledge of this issue prevent your children from having a relationship with their cousins! | {
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Does Curiosity sing happy birthday every Earth year or Mars year? | {
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You didn't think I would find this, eh? Don't talk crap about my fanbase. you aren't doing any justice to the community with that comment, just making things worse. | {
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/r/FoodPorn
...wait. | {
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I just would have liked for them to set the game in an actual jungle, I'm sure there are plenty of ways to get the story to fit. But nooo, more NY. | {
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Speaking about observations of things that happened isn't racist. Assuming that all Chinese people will be like this is. | {
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I don't care if people hate me for it. | {
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Would you just shut up? You're rats with wings! | {
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Lennon was one of the sharpest cats of his time.
The younger redditors won't have a clue who he is.
Well kids, he is John Lennon, who was the genius of "The Beatles".
"The who?" I hear you ask?
No, I said "The Beatles". | {
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┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ) Dude these tables are expensive, don't do that. We're not rich yet. | {
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Yes, but still gets $14 billion a year. | {
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What if we found a door installed down there. It doesn't lead anywhere, but is firmly embedded in the rock. | {
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I for one support these kids in this post-modern anti-consumerist statement! If their parents had stood up for their rights, they wouldn't be working in a supermarket having to clean this shit up. Fuck 'em! | {
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I was convinced that Gnarls Barkley was Cee lo green's solo band. | {
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I'm not one to hit it and quit it, so don't worry just knit me another sweater or better yet, try to turn on the TV set and wonder why it doesn't have a power button | {
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SCROTUMBORN!
**EDIT**: Holy shit. My most upvoted comment was eleven letters, and involved the word scrotum. | {
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Try to use a proper monitor and not your phone. | {
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This took longer for me to understand than I'd have preferred. Creepy at first, scary as fuck after. | {
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I ERXPERCTERD SERMAHTHIN ERLS. | {
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The most upvoted "this" of all time. | {
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I LOL'ed IRL. up vote | {
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Pfft...obviously! Girl, look at that body! | {
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Why? It's copyright infringement either way. In your case, you're just contributing to Google's internet hegemony. | {
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The only way I'm using the word Grande is if a Mexican pimp asks me what kind of titties I like. | {
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You're on point. Fuck these dumbasses that act like this whore deserves pity. Pity never made anyone successful or happy. | {
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I think for the greater good, you should. But we can still acknowledge the fact that tgines is a cock. | {
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Actually no, we never sold anything to you.
| {
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Please. If you can't trust someone with an eye patch, who *can* you trust? | {
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Fuck off! I wasn't trying to be cool and edgy and if you don't subscribe to r/atheism and have come here through r/worstof you have no place here. | {
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Probably. If they do, I bet its 63% off. | {
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xpect the rest 'spect da BEST green around, sun | {
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If this dude is like me he's gonna lay awake at 2:30am some night 7 years from now replaying that situation over and over in his head. | {
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Well, I'll probably get downvoted for this, but I also agree with the both of you.
I eat downvotes for breakfast! | {
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